Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-08-06
= %s:'fusHfJ
Al5s7zd1~E E1N

Poet-Have you read my last poem7
Friend trust that haye.-Judge.
Briggs-You say business is looking
up? Griggs-That's what it is. 1t can't
iook any other way; it's fat on its back.
Eek.
Little New York Boy-Say, father,
when will be- old enough so that /
won't have to get up and give my seat
to a lady?-Life.
ION my knee 1 begged her for
Kiss" "And what did she say?" "Told
me to set up and be practical. "-Louis-
vile CourierJ Journal
"My wife made an engagement for
me to dine at the Bings'. l forgot and
went fishing" Catch anything?" Not
| until l got home."-Plain Dealer.
Curate-I haven't seen your husband
at church recently, Mrs. Rloggs. What
Is he doing? Mrs. Bloggs-'E be DOM
six months, sir London Opinion
"Maude was afraid the girls wouldn't
notice her engagement ring" Did
they?' Did they? Six of them rec
ognized it at o1ce'-CIeveland Plain
Dealer.
Chappie-Have a cigarette, old man?
Sapieish-No; l don't smoke fool-klll-
ers. Chappie-Well, don't blame you
for refusing to take chances Chicago
| Daily News.
This IS new shaving soap I'm
using" said the barber. How do you
IKE it!' Applied externally" splut-
tered the yictim.-The Catholic Stand
ard and Times
Nell-Maude has a new dressmaker;
what do you think of the fit of her new
gown? Belief shouldn't call it fit;
should call it a convulsion-Phila-
delphia Record.
vi course you play bridge only for
| fun| "Of course" answered Mrs.
Spangleton. But it isn't any fun I'M
less you are playing for money
Washington Star.
Il heard him behind the door plead
Ing for just one. They must be en-
gagged Nav, they're married. 1t was
dollar he was pleading for.'-Louis-
| vile CourierJour1al.
DO you consider your nerve is suf-
| hciently steady to fit you for al air
ship navigator?' well, I've been out
In canoe with a nervous fat GIRL
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Tramp-Can you assist me along the
road, mum? Lady of the House-Per-
sonally l can not; but | will unchain
my dog, and l know he will be most
pleased to do so London Tit-Blts.
Mar! "Well, dear?" Does tn
Bible honestly say that we gotta love
our enemies?" Yes" "Geew whats
the matterY II visit I'd a picked
some different enemies. '-Cleveland
Leader
Helress-But, father, that handsome
foreign count says he will do something
desperate and awful if | do not marry
him. Father (dryly)-He will. He
will have to go to work.-Baltimor
! American.
We'll, young man." Numbered the
head Of the house. "S-sir," stammered
the youth, 81 want to marry your did
daughter" saw, take her and well
come. l was afraid you were counting
the cook."-Ex.
Waiter" said a traveller in a rail-
road restaurant, did you say l had
twenty minutes to wait or that it was
twenty minutes to eight?" 'Nayther.
OF said ye had twilty minutes to ate,
an thot's ell We did have. Yer trains
just gone" -Eyerybody' Magazine.
The art photographer had visited the
farm. Il want to make an exhaustive
study of this particular bit of land
scape," he said, land would like to have
your hired man retain his present po-
sition on the fence there. Can he sit
still?" For days at time" replied
the farmer.-CIeveland Plain Dealer.