Sharp County record., 1908-01-31
IN AM UP PPE::R
B E: E.:RTRsl =
SiMCH PURE'S TRIP TO NEW
YORK

lace OF Lne sage OI CpIluS Wells 81 az
tractive.
"Why, Simon, what is the trouble?"
'I seen it," he replied lowering his
voice and looking around as if afraid
of seeing it again.
Seen what?'
New York"
you don't mean to say"
yep" he Interrupted, nodding his
head vigorously. 81 seen it from tn
top t. tn bottom, an inside out-Good
Lord"
"Tell us about It,"
"Wa-al, it's just this-away. An OF
uncle O mine passed in his ch-chicks
an left me. hull thousand dollars. I'd
hearn an read so much O Gotham, /
says t. Mandy, Mandy, go t. town an
buy tn best suit y kin get fer $40,
and pay as much as two dollars an
a half fer a hat, an we'll go t New
York
Simon ses she t. me. Simon,
you're fool l asst her why an she
sed we he'd about as much use fer
New York as a dog hes fer side pock-
et Thet made me mad an | tOle her
t 60 t. thunder an I'd go-an' | did"
what did she say to you when you
got back?"
"She sed l wuz burned sight big
ger fool than ! wuz before l left-but
then y know she was mad b'cause
didn't take her. Wa-al, putting nine
hundred in tn bank, | TUX hundred
an a few dollars Mandy had a layin
round loose, tellin' her t draw ten, if
she needed it whilst l wuz gone, and |
took tn train. AS | wuz a-goin' I
thought I'd go right so / takes a pull
lem sleeper Thet Is, they calls 1t a
sleeper, but what for I'm burned If |
know.
when I showed my ticket t. the
man at tn gate he sized up tn new
suit case an kind O grinned, but he
didn't say nuthin', so | went ahead
a-loollin' fer car six. ! couldn't find no
car six. | walked up an down, an
all / could see wuz some highfalutin'
names, jawbreakers wors'n the Skis
thet hes tn ducks out my way. Finally
walks up t. swell coon with gold
braid on his cap an ses, please, mis-
ter, kin y tell me where In thunder
car six is?
Right in hyar, sir right In hyar,'
ses he, smiln' and perlite. 1t made
me swell all up with pleasure, an |
went into a dark hole Of a hallway
an didn't know but what tn cuss
he'd got me into the wrong pew. There
wu2 some men behind me, an one fell
Ter sings out, We'll, go in or como out,
| don't give a d--m which Thet didn't
sound so all fired perlte, but what
could understand It, so ! made bee
line through a drape thet hung up, an
found myself in nice box with leath.
ercovered seats,
Finally q lot O. swells came in an
set down. They looks at me as If
ned no right there, an 1t made me
EEL gol.durn mad. Then along comes
III conductor an takes my ticket an
III sleepin car tab, glvln me little
)nk slip,
"'Here, consarn It, l yelled, GIN.
ne my ticket hain't got T. New
York Tn conductor told mo t keep
my shirt on, and tn crowd Of swells
hollered an laughed, | lowed hedn't |
begun & so { bed yet, and tole tn
'rass-bound gont net & git sassy. He
eed | meant business and kind o /
'ooled down q bit, tellin' me I'd git my |.
ticket in tn mornin',
"Upper ~, sar' ses tn darkey, |
you berth Is all ready, sar.'
"Waall sir, thet coon takes me |
back through tn center asles between
4 lot o drapes that was Aoppin'
round my shins t whore there wuz a
8tepladder He pinted & 1t an l
an there was, sure nough, a
bed made up on shelf. | looked II
over an It looked good & me, but
climbs down an huntin' up tn coon,
who then he'd on q white coat, ast
him whore could hang my clothes,
lie sed he'd show me, | could see he
wua tryin powerful hard not & laugh.
He pointed to hammock made outen
Ash netting swlngln' over tn bed, |
told him thet wouldn't do as my new
suit would GIT oil creased UP tn wrong
way,
"Seeln nuthin' else Z do, climbs
up, an slttin' on tn side of thet two.
story bod takes off my boots an
drops EN- on tn floor, They certainly
did make n noise, an u galoot sticks
his head outon tn drapes up.a.ways
an wants { know what t'hell, grins
at him an tells him T. keep his night.
shirt on, llo wuS thot mad thot no
shook his ilst ut me- Seem no pegs,
! rolls m coat up On puts II In tn
iishnot, an orawlg In between tn
sheets with tho rest Of my clothes on.
by thot time ] wu2 real doay, Jost
as ! wu2 follIn' Z sloop thcrc comes