The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-10-01
MEMORIES OF A WAR
A Bit of Humorous Reflection BY One
Of the Young Vets.

The weary pilgrim entered the of.
fee and slid into the Softest chair.
Il heV accomplished tn fust sane
Fourth of July in my exl erience." said
he, AN it was OWN to my liVin' so
far from any neighbor thet only tn
highest rockets showed above tn
horizon.
About tn insanest day O. independ-
ence l ever had was ten years ago,
when l was with tn army of invasion
bearin' down on Cuby. TIL two trans
ports thet he'd our gallant reglanent
aboard laid up at Key Wesi, wa'tin'
fur further orders.
Shore leave? Nuthin' doin'. But
tn mornin' o tn Fourth erlong ,eme a
staff officer an asst fer a volunteer
boats crew to row him over to tn
other transport. TIL whole shiaload
O. sogers stepped forrard an every
body swore he cud row a boat So tn
lieutenant picked out me an Buck an
West an my b.other's son Bill rs
oarsmen, with Bart, who had ben a
sailor, to steer. He picked US out be-
cause we was tn biggest men in tn
regiment an he figgered on putin up
awful swell front with his four-oared
galley before tn admirin' regiment. TIL
on'y thing tn ship captain wud give
us was a old jolly boat, which fer
gracefulness wud hev made a river
scow look like eight-oared racer.
I'VE all got into tn OF punt an tn
sailors lowered us into the water.
Then we cast loose tn tackle an was
afloat on tn wide an lonesome sea.
Port stroke ahead says Bart.
"'Meanin' me?' asts West Then he
made dab at a passin' wave, missed
1t by three foot. an laid down on his
back an stuck his new leggin's into
tn air.
Private West se5 tn lieutenant,
you sed you cud pull a gooI oar
"I kim sez West, but this don't
seem to be good oar
"'Wots tn matter weth itT
9TH blame thing want long enough
to reach thet wave sez West.
"'Well,' sez tn lieutenant, TIL next
wave you want to hook to, pint It out
an we'll hold it fer you
"Jes' then Bucks oar disappeared
under tn boat an come up on tn other
side in mos astonishin' manner.
Bill, who he'd ben a caution TO
snakes at paddlin' on tn park lagoons,
seemed to be tryin' to sound tn depth
O. tn Gulf O. Mexico weth Lis oar.
Il hedn't had no accident fer tn
reason thet l didn't want to wet my
nice, dry oar.
1--WE finally got goin', ev'ry feller fer
hisself, our oars maxim a sound like
single-footer horse sprintin' through
bog.
Wen tn lieutenant got where he
wanted to go, he tor us to row round
fer spell an practice up, so we cud
take him back in kind O. decent style.
I'VE thought it would be good prac-
tice to row to tn shore, witch was
only about three mile away. So we
started. TIL wind an tide was in
thet direction, so we'd have gone there
anyway. Half way to tn shore we got
among feet O battleshirs tn war
paint, but no feathers. Jes' ez we was
in tn center O. tn fleet tn whole
bunch ov 'em turned loose weth all
their biggest cannon all to once.
"EZ soon ez cud pick myself up
got on thwart an TUX Off my hat
weth my best bow. This is most on
expected honor sez l.
"'Git down, you loon,' sez Bart.
It's IL o'clock an they're firm tn ma
tional slute.'
"'Jes' then tn fleet fired again an
/ got down. l mos furgit wot tn ma
tional s,lute Is composed of. think
it's one volley fer each state, two fer
each president an three fer George
Washington. Then they fire one apiece
fer each O tn presidents cabinet an
tn senators an congressman sep'rate-
ly, weth few ex,ry fer tn aIsorans
who didn't get no nomination. Then
they finish up by settin' fire to their
surplus supply O powder. At least
thets wot 1t sounded like to MS.
"On shore we TUX in tn town an ez
many O. tn inhabitants ez was easy.
"W'en we wanted to go back to tn
transport We foAnd our hands was so
sore weth rowin' thet we cudn't make
a start. So We hitched onteT a out
ward-bound tug an tn smarty thet
was RUIN it pulled us through them
big waves at about a mile a minute
We went to tn ship where we he'd left
tn lieutenant, but they toP us he had
walked home.
1--WE got to our own transport about
dark an found tn maddest staff officer
in tn service. We toP him thet we he'd
lost our way an was blowed ashore
an he said it wud hev ben a great
thing fer tn army eff we he'd ben
blowed too far to git back."-G. A.
in Chicago Daily News.