Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1908-09-02
the ,IURIES
DIDN'T AGREE:
by Max AdeIer.

J One day last week the body or a
man was found lying in field a short
distance out of town, and informa-
ton >of the fact was sent to our cor
oner, Barney Maginn, who proceeded
to the spot in hot haste, with jury
When he arrived the party discovered
that the body lay directly across the
line between our county and the coun-
ty adjoining, and Mr.. Maginn was just
about to move it completely within his
jurisdiction when he saw Mr.. Doolan,
the coroner of the other county, com
ing over the fence with his jury and
calling to Mr.. Maginn to let those re-
mains alone.~
A very bitter controversy ensued
as to who had the better right to Of
ficially take charge Of the corpse. Mr.
Doolan contended that as the head
was in his county, the body belonged
to him. because the head was the
man; human being might exist with
out legs, but he couldn't get along
with any comfort without a head
But Mr. Maginn said that as the legs
were in his county the man had evil
IDENTIFY died there, and then accidental
ly tumbled across the line, so it was
his duty to hold the inquest.
1t was first contemplated to settle
the question by Maginn and Doolan
going into a corner of the field and
engaging in a fight; but one of the
jurymen suggested that things NIGH
be- arranged more amicably by holding
two inquests, Maginn meditating upon
the legs while Dooan unused over the
head. Accordingly the inquests be
gan, and after a careful Investigation
Of the matter, the Doolan jury brought
In a verdict that deceased came to his
death by apoplexy, while the Maginn
Jury decided that the condition of the
mans legs showed that he had been
gored to death by DR.. Rymer's short
horn bull.
Doolan said such a verdict was ri
diculous, and Maginn insisted that the
Doolan verdict was an awful violation
of the truth. The controversy became
so warm that the two coroners, with
their juries, came to blows, and for
some time a bloody war was waged
over the corpse At last when Doolan
got Maginn down, and was about to
hammer his nose, in order to convince
him that his views were incorrect,
Maginn said perhaps they might com
promise He suggested that it would
- To tI,r tho rnn1oipc
around and let Doolan's jury brood
over the legs while Maginn's jury in
vestigated the head. This was agreed
to, and, after a thoughtful delibera-
ton, Doolans jury made up its mind
that deceased had been bitten to
death by mad dog, while Maginn's
fury expressed their conviction that
the death of the unfortunate man had
been caused by delirium tremens.
Then Doolan said it was silly to de-
clare that the man died of four diff
ferent complaints, and Maginn said
that the only idiotic thing that he saw
about the proceedings was the fact
that the Doolan jury had brought in
two verdicts which were foreign to
the manifest truth This excited Doc
lan's Indignation, and after few
angry words had passed, the two par
ties again proceeded to blows, and for
awhile it looked as if there would be
some more corpses in the field. This
time Maginn defeated Doolan, and as
he was sitting upon that gentleman
and preparing to twist his ears, Doolan
threw out the idea that perhaps they
might arrange compromise by lay
ing the body lengthwise on the border
line, so that each jury could examine
one side. This was agreed to, and
after consultation Doolan's jury had
Just determined to insist that death
was caused by shotgun wounds, while
Maginn's jury was ready to maintain
the theory that the man had been
hacked with a knife, when, all of a
sudden, the corpse sat up, rubbed its
eyes, looked around at the crowd in
amazement and, exclaimed.
whats the matter? What in thun-
der are all you fellers dom here, any
way? Holdin' a. picnic or a camp
meetin'?'
As soon as the coroners recovered
from their amazement, and two of the
jurymen who had suddenly jumped
over the fence had come back, Mr..
Doolan said:
"Why, we thought you were dead,
and we've been holding inquests on
you--sitting on you"
"Inquests? Sitting on me! Well,
hope I may be hanged Sittin' on
me S if | was dead I'm just as alive
as you are The fact is, was over
at Jim Murphy's tavern last night,
drinkin', and | must have stumbled
in here drunk Hurt my leg gittin'
over the fence, | reckon. Dead! kin
lick the man who says l am. Where
is he? Show him to me! Run him
out SOS kin look at bimM'
Then the ccroners suddenly went
home, and Mr.. Maginn said to me the
next day that he verify believed that
If he should set on craven image
with the hope of making fee, that
inanimate sculpture would instantly
become instinct with life, and want to
dance and climb trees.-New York