davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19
Not Eorootten.

Il see they have taken the s a. m.
train OFF this line. Do you miss it,"
asked one suburbanite of another
Il miss it, certainly, but not so
often as | used to when it was on"
was the reply
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19
SWELL!

Il want to see some collars" said
the fat man.
Yes. sir" replied the clerk; what
kind?"
Il want the swellest dress collar
you've got in the shop"
Here's the latest, sir"
What size?"
NO. 16."
don't think thered be room to tuck
in my napkin with that size"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19

II you have not much time at your
disposal, do not fail to profit by the
smallest portion of time which re-
mains to you.-Fenelon.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19
Cured by Suggestion.

Howard-Did you ever know any
one who was cured by suggestion?
Coward-Yes l cured the dukes in
fatuation for my daughter by sug-
gesting that he lend me $5.-Judge.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19

Trade Of the United States with its
to nearly $1,000, 900. against a lit
tie more than q third as much q
decade ago.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19
Nothing New.

He-My dear, here is startling
news in the paper this morning. There
has been great breaking up in China.
She-Pshaw! that's nothing. 1t hap
pens every day in the kitchen.-Balti-
more American.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19
AN ECONOMIC PROTEST.

did I understand you to ask me il
l wanted work." asked Flooding Pete.
That's what you understood. If you
understood anything" answered the
woman with a cold steely eye and a
square jaw.
You've got some wood that needs
chopping. l suppose?"
Il have"
Lady. I'm surprised at you. Don't
you know dat de trees gather mois-
ture gradually an by slowly lettin' it
into de ground keep up steady water
supply? Don't you know dat when you
leave de hillsides naked an bare de
water comes down in freshet, same
as beer from a barrel wit de head
stove in? Don't you know dat future
generations is goin' to miss de UNI
brageous protection overhead, an dat
our grandchildren is liable to be at de
mercy of parasol trust? An you
want me to chop wood! Lady, I'm
surprised at you!"-Washingto Star.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19
Got His.

Bill-And SO you proposed to Lulu.
last night?
Jill-Yes.
And did the old man kick you out
doors?"
No"
He didn't?''
NO. he didn't. He didn't wait until
l got outdoors,"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19
None Such.

Bobby-What's ian idle jest" pa?
Father-There's no such thing, my
boy. They're all working overtime
Judge.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19

Give some people their pick and
they'll pick flaws every time.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19
Speaking Of Clubs.

Redd-Have you any Esperanto
club in your town?
Greene-No; l think all those the
police carry are of locust.-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19

PILES CURED IN 9 TO II DAYS.
PAZO OINTMENT Is guaranteed to cure any cass
Of Itching, Blind Bleeding Protruding Piles in
to ~ days or money refunded. 6Oc.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-12-19

"Ah, There's where me old friend
Miggs lies. Left all 'e had to the OF.
phanage, e did"
Did e really. Wo did he leave?'
Six boys and five girls"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-09-16
Brought a Blush to Her Cheek.

There was story told of one of the worlds great yocalists singing as | young girl at private house. She was overwhelmed with praise. By and by says the London News, she came anG sat by an elderly lady, who congratu' lated her on the way she had sang, but ventured to offer one or two sugges tions. The young singer treated the hints with scorn and afterward aske,' the hostess who "the old lady" was who had dared to give her suggestions 'Oh, that was Mime. Goldschmidt," re piled the lady. And who is Mlne Goldschmidt?' was the next inpatient query. Well, she's better known as Jenny Lind" said the hostess. And then the singer blushed for shame at her disdainful reception of hints from the Swedish Nightingale"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-09-16
The Gospe! e Good Cheer.

People loved Robert Louis StcH'z" son not because he was an adi:.ir.tl :, writer. but because hn was a cheerfN ronSumpHvn He wAS q sufferer Mjlt fer many years increased "" age, :, nf life Genius al"n" can q" this ot q lar"e scale. hut evcrym,iv c;ln ito ' Nn q little one Our safest 'a!i;ie q realization ut a bard tru;h --ia;t. -, are not Privile%et' te "hs.re "rr tH'.4 hles with othrr people. If vHn coU,; make up our minds t. >!,aSc f'-'' friends all GetailS of III health of nc ey losses. of domestic annoyanceS. oi alterations. of committee work. " grievances. provocations and anSietieN we should sir less against the world good humGr It may not be given q: to add to the treasury of mirth. ba there is considerable merit in not rol ping it-Agnes Repplier in Harper's Magazine
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-09-16
Norwich and Herring Pys.

For many centuries the city of Nor s1ch, in respect of the manor of Carlo ton. was liable to provide annually twenty-fou herring pies for the roya kitchen Blomefield in his History of Norfolk" referring to this quain' service, prints q letter from the house hold officers of Charles l., making "divers just exceptions" to the quality of the pies which had been forwarde'' by the city sheriffs.
 The main exceptions read as follows
 First you do not send them accord Ing to your tenure of the first new her rings that are taken.
 Secondly, you do not cause them to be well baked in good and strong pastye, as they ought to be. that they may endure the carriage the better.
 ~Thlrdly, whereas you should hy your tenure bake in these pastyes six score herrings at the least being the great hundredth, which doth require five to be put into every pye at the least. we find but flower herrings tc be in divers of them.
 "Fourthly, the number of pyes which you sent at this tyne we find to be fewer than have been sent heretofore and divers of them much broken.
 And, lastly, we understand the bringer of them was constrained tc make three several journeys to you be fore he could have them whereas | seemeth he is bound to come bn' once. e."-Chambers' Journal
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-09-16
The Farmer In the Liohthouse,

A farmer had secured an appoint ment as light keeper in Maine coas, lighthouse. The first night he went on duty he lighted up promptly at dusk and at II o'clock carefully extinguish ed the lamp. The next day of course there was trouble, and when he was taken to task he replied that he sup posed 10 o'clock was late enough to keep the light going, as he thought that all honest men should be in bee at that hour.--Boston Herald.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-09-16
His Preference,

Our new chef" said the manager e the restaurant, stopping to chat wiz the patron who had deep lines betweV. his eyebrows. lis wonder. l re;;.A believe the man could take an old rub Der shoe and make an appetizing Gi$. of It." That so?" asked the patron tapping meditatively with his fork uli on the steak that had been served him Suppose you tell the waiter to tax this steak back and ask the chef to k up rubber shoe for me" ."-Modern So ciety
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-09-16
How 1t Sounded.

Mother" said the college sudden who had brought his chum home fol the holidays. permit me to presen my friend. Mr. Specknoodle."
 His mother. who was little hard O hearing. placed her hand to her ear.
 Pm sorry, George, but didn't quits catch your friends name. You'll havt to speak little louder I'm afraid"
 "I say. mother" shouted George. :" want to present my friend, Mir. SpecE noodle!'
 'Tm sorry, George, but MT. - What was the name again?"
 "Mr. Specknoodle!" George fairl yelled.
 The old lady shook her head sadly.
 "I'm sorry. George. but ym afraie it's no use. It sounds just like Speck noodle to me."-Detroit News.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-09-16
@ c % NATURES o.o.o. PERFECT TONIC

and healthy whol  appetite body feels tired and that the disor perhaps, sickness or everywhere tie best all tonics nature medicine entirely healing nvgoratng roots and herbs the additional of being the all blood purifiers It reesabshes the healthy cu tired feeling the those whose
 
 het purify blood suited remedy without of 10 follow.
 THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, GA.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-09-16
Somewhat Simple.

A rather simple countryman han been induced to promise a fine hen O particular breed in exchange TO- what was said to be a fine rosebust When the rosellsh was brought .' turned out to be nothing else than { sprig with little root. The country man grumbled. but the other said tha' he only had to wait few years and ;: would be fine bush. He then claim sd the hen The couutrymnn went '' bis fowl house and brought cut an egg
 'sThat is not the fowl you promised me-" said the other.
 ''No." said the countryman. "but yo' have only to wait year or two ant lt will grow into a fine fowl."-Scott1sl American.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-09-16
His Memory,

First Boy-Dia you really win three prizes at school?
 Second Ditto-Yes, and one was fo, my excellence of memory
 How did you win the others?"
 "The others? l forget what the, were or."-Translaied For Transatlap tic Tales From Blahco y Negro.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-09-16

If thing is proper and possible |, man, deem It atta.0ao!e by thee.-Mar eue Ao1eiius' aA 3su ,saSss.~
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-09-16
The Lucky Ones.

"Old Rounder is engaged" Gee! Who's the lucky woman:" 'There are millions of her" "Why, he isn't engaged to more thai oneT'
 Nope; that's what l luean--all tn others are the lucky oaes." s."-Houst Post.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-02-12
WHEN THE HAIR TURNS GRAY.
A Cherished DeIusiOn DOubIy Denied
nv q NToofiuo Will, VruoJ~uan

A Cherished DeIusiOn DOubIy Denied
by a Meeting with TrucI<man.
II feel young" said Mr. Grayboy, in
the New York Sun, "and like to think
l still look young, but now and then 1
get a little reminder.
con the elevated last night a man
who had been sitting in a seat three
seats distant from where 1 was stand
ing got up to go out. Now standing in
the other direction from this seat, but
only two seats distant from it, reading
a newspaper, was young man who
could easily have got to it before
could, but he made no move for it. He
just continued standing where he was
and went on reading his paper.
"And then of course 1 knew that he
was leaving that seat for me, and
knew why. But l was tired, and so l
looked at him and bowed and smiled
q little in acknowledgment of his cour-
tesy, and he bowed and smiled n little
in return and then took the seat.
"COming across the street one morn
ing 1 heard man singing out to me
cheerfully, Come on there, old man,
come on and looking up 1 saw young
truck driver holding up his team so
that he wouldn't run over me.
'You know what he would have said
If had been young man? 1t would
have been, Hey, therer and then it
would have been up to me to jump OF
get run over; but he was showing to
me the consideration due to age.
"And in this case my cherished illu-
sion was doubly dented, for did not the
necessity Of the truckman's calling
show to me that 1 had been absent
minded when he spoke, not watchful
and on the alert as l ought to have
been in such a place? And what the
truckman thought of me was shown by
what he said.
every kind of him, though; it surely
was, and the people who thus remind
me Of my age are all prompted by the
kindest intentions, but really l wish
people wouldn't be so polite"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-02-12
VEGETABLE LITTLE USED.
How to Prepare Satisfy for the
Table.

How to Prepare Satisfy for the
Table.
Winter gives a restricted number of
vegetables, many of which are lightly
esteemed because they seem coarse to
palates accustomed to more delicate
flavors.
Satisfy, or vegetable oyster, though
thought tasteless by many housekeep-
ers who do not know how to cook it
properly, is one of the most delicate
and delicious of winter vegetables. It
cannot be cooked as carelessly as po-
tatoes, to be sure, but if prepared In
the proper manner will be found very
tasty"
Buy the white variety. Scrape the
roots and throw them at once into cold
water, to which you have added vine
gar in the proportion of two table
\spoonfuls to a pint Of water. Leave
them In this at least five minutes. Then
they are ready to cook.
Cook them tender in boiling water
drain and serve in white sauce This
is the simplest way and the first thing
to do in preparing other dishes
To fry, after boiled tender, cut in
three-inch lengths, dip in an egg bat
ter, fry in deep fat, sprinkle with
chopped parsley and a little lemon
juice. Drain on brown paper or a
folded napkin.
For fritters, crate the roots raw and
mix with the usual fritter batter.
To escallOp, boil till tender, season
with salt, pepper, butter and cream.
Place in a baking dish, cover with
bread crumbs seasoned and dotted with
bits of butter, and bake brown.
Try some Of these ways and you
will no longer ignore this vegetable.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-02-12
ALUM AND NERVES.
Salts of AIumina May Be Cause OF
Horrible Disease.

Salts of AIumina May Be Cause of
Horrible Disease.
The most complete series of expert
ments on the action of aluminium salts
upon the nervous system were made by
Paul Stem, under the direction of Pro-
fessor Hans Mayer. These experiments
showed that when administered to ami
mails (dogs, cats and rabbits) by injec-
ton under the skin, a soluble salt Of
alum causes no symptoms at all for
three or four days. Then the animal
suffers from loss of appetite and Obsti-
nate constipation, emaciatiOn, languOr
and disinclination to move.
Next there is a vomiting and loss
of sensibility, as a deep prick with a
needle is scarcely felt. Then forced to
move, the leg is raised, but trembles
and twitches violently, and is with diff
ficulty placed on the ground. Some
times there is a general tremOr or con-
vulsive twitching, and sometimes there
is extreme weakness or partial paraly-
sis of the pOsteriOr extremities. There
is a complete loss Of Sensibility to pain,
while the animal retains its senses.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-02-12

Then the power of moving the tongue
and swallowing is completely lost; even
the saliva cannot be swallowed.
The symptoms are precisely those
which are observed in a disease occur
ring in man and known as acute bulbar
paralysis. The cause of this disease in
man is unknown at present and tae
idea Of its possible connection with the
continued absorption of alum in the
same way that leads to palsy or mercu-
rial tremor, may be due to the absorb
ton of lead or mercury, is quite a new
one. Much observation may be neces-
sary in order to ascertain whether such
connection exists or not but the dis
ease is so dreadful and it's treatment
so hopeless that it is worth while for
physicians generally to try whether
such a causal connection between the
use of aluminium and the appearance
of the disease can be traced.
1t is probable that many medical
men are unaware of the extent to
which the salts Of alumina may be in
troduced into the body, because they
are of the impression that the use of
alum in bread is forbidden by law, and
that, as this element hardly exists to
any extent in any potable waters, they
may consider that its introduction into
the body is impossible.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-02-12
cnse of the Black Mccartney.

There were two McCartneys in Room
d. In the bosom of her family and
In hopeful hours, Frances Reid called
them the Red and the Black, and told
stories that greatly amused her hear
ers. The Red, so named from the color
Of his tOusled locks, was needless, mis-
chievous, incredibly unfortunate, but
possessed of a smile that assured him
the forgiveness of all the world; the
Black was defantly lazy, snatching his
information from the recitatiOns Of 9th
ers, and sitting bored during study
hours, yielding not to argument, to en-
treaty nor to threat, yet curiously new
er missing a day.
Once Frances had called upon his
mother. She was found taking her
ease upon the doorstep with the air
Of one possessed Of boundless leisure,
although a glance at the interior be-
hind her suggested many possibilities
in the way of duties. She beamed az.
fectionately upon Frances when she in
troduced herself.
'Sure, it's yersilf that Danny do be
talkin' about all the time, darlint,"
she said, 'but he didn't tell half, the
gossoon! tits a wonder all the city
don't be goin' to school to ye."
II came" Frances FASTENED to say,
"to ask If you couldn't make Danny
study at home. He is very, bright, and
if he would only study"
She broke off in amazement. Den
ny's mother was shaking with laugh
ter.
Him study? Danny study? Sure,
darlint, we don't know what ye're say
in. Danny amt wastin his brains wild
study. He's going to be boss"
"And the worst of it is" Frances
would declare, telling the story, that
I'm afraid it's not unlikely"
Well, there was nothing to do except
to plod patiently on. The Red at least
tried-when he did not forget-but
the Black. Frances, after an espe-
cially difficult day, buried her aching
head in her arms and wondered if
there was any use in trying. A noise
In the yard under her window brought
her to her feet. 1t was probably the
Red in another fight, she thought,
YEARLY.
1t was a fight, but it was not the
Red. It was the Blacks voice that
came up to her:
''Take that, We coward, an that, an
lie to Miss Reid again if We dare
What business is it of mine? 1 guess
yell find out If We try again. Miss
Reid's boys are goin' to be straight
while I'm here, that's ALL"
1t was a terrible breach of discipline,
but Frances stepped softly back from
the window. ALI the lessons were not
in the school books, after all.-Youth's
Companion.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-02-12

There is service whose conditions
are little known to the outside world,
that of the men on the dynamite ships
that lurk in 1.-THE shadow of Canyey
island 1t once happened that cargo
boat took fire near Canvey island. The
crew could not eXtinguish the flames,
the vessel had to be abandoned, and
the tide carried her straight for tht
dynamite ships. By a miracle the
blazing hulk steered safely between
them. But the tide turned, and with
it back again she came Another mira
Gle and the floating inferno missed
them all a second time. A spark from
her blazing timbers, the least shock
from a collision, and she had exploded
such q mine as would have blown the
half of Essex into Ireland. She float
ed, kissing and spluttering, down the
tideway and passed away, to burn her.
self to the waters edge beyond the
reach of dynamite. And the silent,
lonely men stayed unstirring at their
posts and twice saw the grave open
and close before them.-Army and
Navy
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-02-12

and Anne at home. 81 thought Sunday
that l saw your mother put out her
hand to Mrs. Adams, who"
Anne squirmed in guilty silence. but
Hilda finished quickly with her usual
ready tact: ooh, Mrs. Adams is SO
near-sighted, you know, that 1
shouldn't think she could ever see any
one offer to shake hands! She can
scarcely see one word in the re-
spOnses :"
Anne looked up at Hilda gratefully.
and sighed in relief, while Mrs. Par
sons dismissed that branch of the sub
ject and continued:
'Mrs. Adams is getting ready TO
spend some time with her sister. I am
told. She's having a dress made" Mrs.
Parsons raised her brows significant
ly. 81 understand from her dressmak-
er that it is to be the greatest surprise
we have ever had yet, and you know
what surprises Mrs. Adams costumes
arei l am anxious to see It."
EYES," smiled Hilda, in an agreeable.
Mrs. Parsons had departed. Then she
finished to Anne: 'Well, if the dress
maker thinks it is q surprise, what can
1t be like? Anne, I'm simply wild to
see it."
Tim not" quavered Anne, and
was thankful for the headache which
kept her at home the following Sunday.
Mrs. Upper and Hilda went to
church, however. and when they re-
turned, the former was smiling, the lat
ter In a f1utter of excitement
"Anne," cried Hilda, "the surprise
appeared to-day, and it was certainly
the biggest surprise Mrs. Adams ever
gave US! Oh, that dress is a beauty
It's a soft gray silk, trimmed with sill
very lace. Why, Anne, Mrs. Adams
looked almost handsome! You'd never
believe it without seeing her If only
her hair matched that suit, and her
cheeks weren't so red-oh!"
Hilda stopped to catch her breath,
while Mrs. Topper placidly smoothed
out her gloves, and said again, "I know
Mrs. Adsms. Give her a little more
time"
Anne suddenly sat up and looked at
her mother. do you mean" she be-
gan, and stopped.
"Wait and find out what mean," re-
turned her mother.
Hilda turned abruptly, looking from
Mrs. Topper to Anne with q new under
standing dawning In her eyes. At the
dinner-table she was thoughtful, and
did not mention the subject OF tact. In
fact. she spoke only once Of Mrs. Ad-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-02-12
The TaCtfulneSS of Anne

da, at the dinner-table. show far lit
tie tact would have gone with Mrs. Ad-
ans. She'll never speak to us again,
and what you told her will not make a
bit Of difference in her appearance"
Anne swallowed her tears-but not
much dinner-and said nothing She
admired Hilda's tactfulness, but some
how she could never think of smooth
things to say-perhaps because she said
so little.
"Wait while" Mrs. Upper smiled
undisturbed at Hilda. II know Mrs
Adams. Wait while"
The following Sunday Mrs. Adams
rustled down the aisle in even more
gorgeous and inappropriate array than
she had previously worn, as if to en-
phasize to the pew behind her the fact
that Anne's revelations had no weight
with her. Again she acted as If the
Tuppers were not and never had been.
Again Anne did not enjoy her Sunday
dinner, and again Hilda, with the privi-
lege of an elder and a married sister,
discOursed wisely on the necessity Of
using tact in dealing with people, and
again Mrs. Upper merely smiled, and
said:
II know Mrs. Adams so we'll. Wait
while"
Anne waited rather forlornly.
Tuesday Mrs. Parsons, autocrat of
the choir, called. and found only Hilda