Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1908-07-25

foN

tion.-London Tit-Bits
"If you were awakened by q fire
In the middle Of the night what would
you think OF saving frstY- my trou-
sers."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Her Husband-Oh, I wish hao
never learned to play poker. His Wife
You mean you wish you had learned.
don't youY-Chicago Daily News.
"A woman's No means Yes"
"You think sor' II know so. Don't
your mo; l am all over that illu-
sion am married Nashville Amer
lean.
That new preacher you have Is a
pretty wideawake young man. isn't
he?" "Yep Keeps right on preachin'
when everybody else is asleep."-Cleve-
land Leader
Nell-A girl shouldn't marry man
till she knows all about him. Belle
Good gracious II she knew all about
him she wouldn't marry him.-Phila-
delphia Record.
why do they have consultations OF
physicians pap Sometimes one doc
tor can think Of something to operate
for that hasn't occurred to the other
The Smart Set.
Tody-Jennie tells me young Wood
by proposed to her last night Viola
l don't think | know him. Is he we'll
OFF, Tody-He certainly is She re-
fused him.-London Tit-Blts.
Constable-Come along; you've got
to have bath. Tramp-A barfl
What, wiz water? Constable-Yes, OF
course. Tramp-Couldn't you manage
1t wiz one O. them vacuum cleaners?
Mrs Gramercy-I hear the customs
authorities seized all the fnery you
brought over from Paris VIII 1t be
a total loss? Mrs. Park-Why, no
dear; I got my name in the papers,
Puck.
"Why did you shake your fist at the
SpeakerT We'll" replied the Con-
gresham, 81 didn't want the whole
session to slip by without my having
, made n motion of some kind."-Phila-
, delphia Ledger.
''Who is the old file over there with
the comic coat the stovepipe hat and
the baggy-kneed trousers?" That's the
professor who is lecturing ON the alb
! surdities of woman's dress. "-Cleve-
J land Plain Dealer.
Bridget" said Mrs Grouchy, 81
don't like the looks of that man who
called TO see you last night" well,
well,' replied Bridget. "aint it funny,
ma'am? He said the same thing about
you."-Philadelphia Press.
81 never object to fair criticism"
said the pompous young actor. what
you object to, l suppose" said the
critic, sis the understanding most peo-
pie have of the meaning of the word
fair Chicago Record-Herald.
On reaching a certain spot the driver
turned around on his seat and observed
to the passengers: "From this point
the road is only accessible to mules
and donkeys; 1 must therefore ask
the gentlemen to get out and proceed
ON foot"
, Lady" said Meandering Mike, 81
don't blame dat dog Of yours for tryin'
to bite me-" "Why notY' Because 1t
shows his intelligence. De last time
l came dis way l handed him a piece
Of pie you gave me.
Cd. c. Star.
, Visitor-And how is Pat this morn
; ing? Mrs. Patrick O'Grady-Sure, yer
honor, it's still alive he is. Visitor
Did you give him the soup l sent?
Mrs. Patrick O'Grady-Well, no, sir.
Father Phelan said it would only be
, after delayin' him.-London Sketch.
"Ah, yes" said Senator Smugg, in
: self-satisfied way. Il got my start
In life by clerking In a humble gro
Gerry store at salary of SO per week,
| and managed to save money on that"
; But" replied the astute reporter,
that, of course, was before cash reg
! sters were invented"
Brown-About the greatest man who
ever lived In this community was Jen-
kins-broad-minded. big-hearted and
brilliant-and yet he died with all his
e talents and goodness unsupported.
Jones-How did you come to find out
about it? Brown married his
widow-London (Eng.) Tit-Bits.
Ladies'" called the president of the
Afternoon Whist Club, '1adies, 1t has
been moved and seconded that there
shall be no conversation at the card
tables. What shall we do with the
motion?" 81 suggest that we discuss
1t while we play piped shrill voice
from table A. And the suggestion was
adopted.
Publican-And how do you like being
. married, John? John-Don't like 1t at
, all. Publican-Why, what's the matter
: wi she, John? John-Well, first thing
In the morning it's money; when l
goes 'ome to my dinner It's money