The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-29


TlMorFOV LANDJ
TELL CITY. Ind, oct 29.-Crossing
the borders of this pivotal State at ll.z5
last night. after a strenuous day ln
West Virginia, 1 at once began house
to house poll of pastoral Indiana, defer
ring my descent upon the cities until
shortly after daybreak, inasmuch rs
/ feared the Inhabitants wouldn't be up.
While crossing the Ohio river in my
aeroplane. i was mystihed TO see, some
500 feet below. four authors, three chip
hunks, nine weaseIs, and a couple Of
antelope swimming desperately from
Kentucky toward the Ohio state shore
Soon after alighting l learned from
passing Hoosier that these animals had
forgotten 10 register in their home
cities. ard were ina hopes of getting a
chance 10 vote over in ohio on showing
one weeks residence
Before proceeding with my forecast
] would inform those who are placing
wagers on my prophecies that my Indi-
ana summary is absolutely reliable. The
principal products Of Indiana are corn,
live stock. butter, maple syrup. wheat
/ limestone. coal, and authors. COnse-
queutly ] interviewed with all the care
life insurance examiner would exhibit
in learning about the ancestors Of a
/ bad risk. S91 farmers, 1883 authors, 50
sugar makers, 1923 swine feeders, SIS
mill owners, 65S coal miners. and s5}
/ b0atmen. the latter being engaged IN
+ rowing up and down the Wabash.
( The only thing overlooked in the
: entire State was one Vice President. Th-
cook told me he was off somewhere
/ helping 10 elect another man 10 a J5J
4 he wanted himself. Hearing IL rumored
/ that this Vice President would vote for
/ Taft. / have OUT him III the Republican
I column This is the only vote 60 the
/ State that 1 cannot yOuch for by reason
/ of personal investigation.
/ C0uyeTsiug with the head barber ia
/ the leading shop Of KOkOmO. erstW lille
/ home of John Worth Kern. / ascertain
/ ed that the barber vote may decide the
} next Presidency II is the policy OF
/ HOLSTERS TO encourage home industries
but this barber told me that ia cuIuyat-
ing the alfalfa which adorus Kern S
chin and is ways getting tangled up
IN his shirt front, the Democratic can
! didate had oyerstepped the prescribed
bounds and had won the eumiJy Of a
( large number Of strap tattoolsts. There
. is actually a base canard aGoat that
Kern has his hair cut at home and
sHaves the back OF his neck with a
safety razor welded by his stable boy
who has taken a special correspondence
school course IN this delicate art
! From this, the most partisan observer
must observe that unless the lOng-hair-
ed author and poet vote comes TO Kern S
rescue, the BARRIERS may waylay the
/ Democrats at the old uill at midnight
and snatch the papers.
The negro vote, / find, viii be cast
entirely by colored men This forms
one Of the most mystifying features
Of the campaign here. II the coiored
men vote for Taft 1t is plain he will get
the negro vote and vice versa, fact
that Is causing much uneaElneSS and
much stump speaking al over the
State.
/ ran across a bunch Of towns IN
which ] had the utmost difficulty 10
polling the people because everybody
was singing "tra-la-la." This was soon
explained TO me. La is a 1aFOTte
prefix in Indiana and as soon as some
body Is ready TO sell a few lots on the
instaIIment plan and name a suodlvl'
sion the wise one looks about 10 see
IL there is a Ia lying around loose
In consequence, we nave La crosse. La
d0ga, Lafayette, Lafoutaine, Lapel, La
porte and a few others / couldn't get
around 10 before noon. La is frequently
used as a CUss word by coal miners
VINO are not pTOfane enough 10 say
plague take IT," The la vote seems
to be divided equally between TAFT
BRYAN. Hisgen. and Debs- Chaplin,
and is going to run well 10 Bourbon
interviewed a ain pickle in DiIlsbOTO
and he told me the pickle vote had al
ready been sailed down tOr Tom Wat
son Inasmuch. as this vote is Of fifty
seven varieties a factory TO factor