The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-09-30
DRIFTWooD
rirst call for nres. :.

First caii for fires.
 Get your overooat out of soak.
 
 The blondes and brunettes sure look ed sweet yesterday in their new fall clothes and furs.
 Fine weather for the Fair.
 
 That popping noise you hear over the city is the young idea learning how Say, after all the hound-pup Is a The barkeebs down in this neck of the woods are practicing 5-rking soda water.
 Mrs. Casey--I think our darter Mary door, Pat.
 Mir. casey--Aw---there ye go with your pipe-dreams:
 A woman TO years of age has mar. ried a young man of 26 at Johnston N. Y. It Is needless to add that he married the girl for her money as much as anything else.
 "A good ngure is fine asset de- clares Miss Elizabeth White. an East ern modiste. Yes. woman either has to have a good figure at the bank or from the hands of Nature.
 In nine cases out of ten the fellow who succeeds in this world is the one who is cheerful through everything. Women spend most of their time in this world battling to have their own way about everything.
 "oh. my deah Miss DeRocks. Do ye know have heaht disease through love rSeu have. cholly: then why don't you try the absent treatment7" Taft knows who he can trust and the trusts know who they can Taft. That preacher wonder was the means of me being cheated"
 ..Impossl 6le-surely you're joking.' Indeed. Pm not--he performed my marriage ceremony"
 Little drops of pare
 Gorfe in the night
 Sometimes stops the baby
 From yelling all its might ronorrov you can murder the man with the straw hat.
 Cheer up: eld winter
 Soon viii bide.
 And the end seat hog
 Must go Inside.
 Hell is paved with good intentions they say, but sometimes the earth bears a. strong resemblance to that warm young mans Intentions and he trys to make a noise like crawfish When a man has failed to accomplish anything in this world he invariably lays it to lack of opportunity. never peusing to consider that no doubt when Opportunity knocked at his door he vas asleep and too lazy to get tlp and heed.
 An oak tree sixty feet high contains s.000.o00 leaves. If you don't believe 1t, you have our permission to climb up and verify 1t any morning you choose.
 It takes 100000 cords of wood a year to make the newspaners that go through the presses of New York City. At that rate how many cords were re- print Evelyn Thaw's picture7 fchil- dren, ask your teacher that today.)
 
 The man who knows enough to come in out of the rain hasn't got sense enough to hook onto an unlhrella--he- 4 willtarnsport young woman drown ed in a bath tub the other day. Why will these thin girls persist in they'll fall through.
 It requires 15,2oo stenographers to do the office business of New York City. How many pickle-Snd-gfnger. wafer lunches does this represent?  Did you ever kiss a Montgomery Blue-Eyed Blonde? No? We'll. then 1t is this: One long drawn succulent sip dipped in dew. and magnolias blooming in the Garden of Love: 1t Is pulverized diamonds and a comet of bliss fifty mill lion miles long flashing across the heavens; it is heightened sweetness long drawn out: 1t Is madness. life. passion, beauty. fire and unalloyed joy mixed into a nectar for the gods: 1t Is heaven and the angels playing Ipon a million harps. 1t is the sum total of all the happiness that has ever been in earth and Heaven and the planets merged together. 1t is hope. 1t is faith, it Is sunshine; 1t Is purity. 1t IS succor to the soul it is--it is.--oh what's the use, try 1t oyer on your piano"
 The Microbe Age.
 Polly put the kettle on
 And boil away each germ, There's a million bugs in everything
 And spidery things that squirm. We're going to boil the baby
 Then his milk we'll steriliSe. And we'll fumigate the nurse-girl
 And our hands. for we are wise. we'll polish up our teeth to take
 The antiseptic kiss.
 And a prophylatic mixture
 We'll apply to that and this.
  Oh, this awful age of microbes.
 Nearly drives me to despair. For the beasts are in the water.
 Tn the food and in the air,