davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
SENATOR JOSEPH F. JOHNSTON.

From the Montgomery Times.
 The presence here the other day of Senator Johnston will serve The Times with a predicate for saying that Mont gonerians confess to prdeful feelings over the record of Alabama's junior sen- ator during his brief service term in the upper branch at Washington. Sen ator Johnston has ever been a local favor ite. He originally halls from section of which Montgomery is part, and is in thorough sympathy with conditions that affect us as a people. The founda- tions of the splendid career that Senator Johnston has achieved in business, and public affairs were laid in Selma-the home of so many men who are eminent and beloved in the history of the state. It was in this thriving little capital of the Black Belt that he launched the ves- sel that has borne him so far out upon the sea of political renown. It has since been ladened and freighted with honors the choicest of which is expressed in the supreme station now dignified by his labors and abilities. When with us the other day the senator thoughtfully ten dered his services to the people Of this district who are temporarily bereaved of representation in the lower branch Of Congress. None is better capacited for such service As already stated, Sen ator Johnston is thoroughly familiar with the character as demands arising in conditions under which he was reared and through, which he forged his earliest title to political prominence. There is probably not county in the Second congressional district where senator Johnston is not better known than the gentlemen whom we will choose as Col onel Wiley's successor and if any where he could not have divided the honors of acouaintance with the late congress-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

sleep over the matter. It is remarka- ble how blind legislative committee can be when brought face to face with occurrences it does not desire to un- cover.
 The Atlanta Georgian is entitled to the credit of making the present inves- tigation possible, an investigation that promises to be searching, unsparing and reformatory. The state has al- ready decided to build a penitentiary, and the legislature is now trying to ascertain who is responsible for the inhumanities that the helpless prison CTS have been compelled to endure. The task is heavy one, and the joint committee in charge of it is holding two sessions daily, and the hope IS that the truth will be disclosed, and an end put to cruelties in the convict camps, even if the members of the state prison board are called to the bar.
 Alabama leases its convicts, but the state is rigid in it's inspection of con- vict camps, and no prisoners could be more humanely treated than those that are working out their sentences here. It is pity that Georgia did not model its lease system on Alabama's.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
Return Wave of ImmierantS

Immigration officials say that 600,- 900 Europeans are preparing to return to this country, and the governments of Italy, Austria-Hungary, Sweden and Norway are trying to devise means to induce their people to stay at home. What is considered loss in those countries would no doubt be gain in this country.
 The prospect of return wave in the near future of wealth-producing labor is another indication that normal ac- tivity is anticipated by expert observ- CTS. If 1t be true that 60O,OO0 Euro peans are nrenarinx to coma tn this
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
Prominent Contractor.

W. L. Brennan, the best known dla- mond drill contractor in the country, has returned to Birmingham after an ab- sence of several months, and will be oc- cupied here for some time to come. He opened an office in Birmingham two years ago, while he was carrying out big contract with the Birmingham Coal and Iron company at Mulga. He has now a contract with the Tennessee com pany.
 "I am glad to be back in Birmingham v said Mir Brennan. My business has taken me to many sections of the United States and Canada, but l have never found any climate that suited me better than this and Birmingham is attractive to me in every way With the enormous possibilities of the district, Birmingham is sure to be one of the largest cities in America"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
THE FAMILY ALBUM.
What Disapoontments and UnfuIfilled
 Promises Its Pages Recall.

Eugene Wood in August Everybody's.
 On every page of an old album is writ ten heartache, disillusion, loneliness. Here is the picture of the boy whose every waking hour outside of school was partly yours. So genial fellow he was, so ann bilious, so brilliant You saw him last year, and hardly recognized the shabby wreck that drink had made, hardly were able to eke out half an hours conversa- tion with him. Here is the college chum' with the fine head, who was to do great things in life. Consumption. The pios- som oighted ere the fruit was set rms other classmate with the face of Keats In fnrrow of his brain. first manifested
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
RULES AND REGULATIONS.

RULES AND REGULATIONS. Iris Don't do this"
 And Don't do that" Don't lose your head,'
 Don't lose your hat" Don't worry when
 Your plans go wrong, Don't stumble as
 You plod along" Don't eat too fast"
 Don't sleep too late" Don't try to go
 Too swift a gait.' Don't drink too much Ice water cold" Don't be too shy
 Don't be too bold" Don't think bad thoughts" Don't read bad books" Don't knock your friends" Don't wear glum looxs.' Don't be a crank"
 Don't be a bore" Don't tell the same Jokes OCT and o'er," Don't shirk your work" Don't dodge your bills" Don't swell the sum
 Of human ills" Don't boast of what
 You chance to own" Don't tell how much You do alone.' Don't waste your time In vain pursuits," Don't manners learn
 From ugly brutes." Don't play the fool,'' Don't talk too much" Don't speculate
 In stocks and such.' Of "donts' in life
 There're not a few, And most of them, Alas, we dol
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
rom the New York Press.

From the New Y OrK PreSs.
 A woman could stand being fat If all other women were fatter.
 If nobody will lead a man into tempta- ton he has to do it himself
 The trouble with being in love with girl Is how many times minute you have to tell her so.
 The only people who worry for fear VOL think they haven't brains are those who haven't any
 Some women couldn't wear sho. ~ skirts unless they could nt thsn with n, q onifvin>p --s- ~-~-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
HOMEMADE LINoLEUM.

From Popular Mechanics for August
 good strong linoleur may be made from old Brussels carpet that has not been worn through. Tack the carpet, right side down on the floor, and then apply paint, giving 1t large number ot coats; the last few coats to be of the deS sired color, allowing each coat to ory well. If the paint begins to wear, apply a fresh coat of paint. The effect of mo- saic tile may be produced by dotting the last coat with different colors of paint.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
A MERE PIGMENT.

From the St. Paul Pioneer Press
 Do your wife and children really say the bright things that you publish?''
 Nav" answered the candid press hu- morist. "If they did I could go dshing occasionally, instead of having to toll like a galley slave.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
ANOTHER CASE OF HAVING

sign from the academy for his life is made unbeatable. It was extremely dif- ficuit therefore, for Colonel Scott's board to ascertain the details of the "ant" prob- lem and the names of the cadets who ordered the plebes to go through the ridiculous snd humiliating performance. The officers, however, were persistent, and discovered that another form of haz- ing was frequently practiced at meal- time, when piebes were forced to assume an almost impossible position with their toes against the bottom of the table. Unanimously the board, after careful in- quiry, recommended that two frs, class men, one of whom was an honor man, and six third classmen be dismissed from the academy. The report arri recom- mendations have been sent to the Secre- tary Of War for his approval.
 The Americans are fun-loving people, and they are tolerant of college pranks which sometimes place reverend presi- dents and dignif1ed professors in awkward predicaments, but they aboininate hazins. And hazing is less in accord with the system of training of future commanders of our armies than with that obtaining in the colleges and universities. An officer in the uniform of the United States is supposed to represent the honor of his country, and stand forth as a knight every ready to challenge tyranny and oppression. The West Point cadets are in honor bound to prevent such prac- tices as have been reported against them, and that is a factor which should not be lost sight of by the Secretary of War, who must pass upon the matter. It is due the cadet corps to purge itself; but if hazing is still persisted in more rigor- ous measures must be taken to compel the cadets to keep their pledge, even if it is incompatible with the 'code of honor." which leads some of them to become sneaks and ruffians.
 
 man himself. So the senator is very much at home among us, and as such chunks of welcome are his wherever he is in these parts. In Montgomery, where he is an especial and a popular favorite, he is never at loss to know the exact peg from. which the city keys have tra- ditionally hung, and he is equally as fa- miliar with ways and means of fitting them to the locks which open upon a mansion of admiring hearts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
TURNED DOWN.

TURNED DOWN. He sang little song of love The poet did; Of stars and one-his turtle dove The blooms amid. He sang 1t blithely, too, until He got note Which seemed to freeze the joyous tri Right in his throatl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
From the Washington Post

From the Washington Post
 HE hazing nuisance has again
 9 shown Its hideous form at the
 Military academy, and the prompt and vigorous manner in which the superintendent, Col. Hugh L. Scott, has attacked it deserves the plaudlts of all self-respecting and falrminded citi- zens. The new type of hazing, which was discovered by accident, after an upper classman had jocularly referred to an ant, consisted in punishing the plebe, or new arrival. who chanced to be so unfortunate as to violate the warning drum regulation to fall in" promptly, by sending him to M company street to pick up an even 100 nice, fat ants, put them in his cap and in half an hour re- turn, count them, and if any were ab- sent, report accordingly. For the escape of an ant he was made to publicly catch for he was instructed to put them in his locker until further orders
 This kind of hazing probably had been carried on for weeks, but the plebes did not complimentary never do-and the of ficers were 10th to suspect that any cadet wearing the uniform of the United States would violate the pledge freely given that hazing should be abolished at West Point. When the superintendent discovered that the fourth classmen were required to do stunts not provided for in the regulations. for the amusement of the upper cassmen, he promptly ap- pointed a board of officers to discover the guilty ones and bring them to justice The "code of honor' among the cadets at West Point forbids one complaining against another, carrying tales, or giving any testimony against another at an in- quiry which he possibly can avoid giving. If he does one of these things he is pun
 shed in silence, and might as well re-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

Senator Crane declines to talk poli- tics, although ready at all times To discuss baseball.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

The unconfirmed rumor cannot kill off the Russian. admiral when the Jap anese could not.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

When the balloons begin to carry freight the innocent bystanders down below will be increased.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

The Independence league need not bother itself with a publicity plank, for it will have but one campaign con tributor
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

The St. Louis Globe-Democrat is find ing holes in the solid south big enough for Taft to drive through. What! on g. 0. D. elephant?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

MT. Taft is now a steam shovelman and in case of defeat in politics he can fall back on his new avocation.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

With seven presidential tickets In the field the most cranky can find one that meets some of his views.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

The son of Darwin comes forward with the theory that plants have in- telligence and memory-for example, poison ivy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
TRIAL.

TRIAL. When the way lies dark before you And the clouds of trouble roll And the arrows of misfortune Seem to pierce your very soul When the morning holds no promise And the twilight brings no rest That's the time to prove your mettle- That's the time to do your bestl When rewards are still denied you Helping hands and words of praise, And you struggle on unnoticed Through round of weary days; When you grope in vain for kindness And you falter in the quest, That's the time to prove your mettIe- That's the time to do your best!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
WHILE AWAY FROM HOME.

Birmingham people who are leaving home for the summer should have The Aee-HeraId follow them and thus keep Informed about what is taking place in the city and state during their absence. The Age-HeraId will be sent to them at any address at the regular price, and the address will be changed as often as desired.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

Rojestvensky agrees with Mark Twain as to the exaggerated nature of a death report.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

There may be plenty of room at the top, but not in the first division or the percentage table.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

Prunes for the tackles must here after be 50 to the gallon. The old standard was 75 to the gallon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

Candidate Preston's front lawn will not be trampled by ruthless pollticai pilgrims.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

Senator Johnston's September speech in Montgomery promises to be the real opening of the state campaign.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

Unitarianism is being boomed by Mr Taft's frank acknowledgement or his belief in it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

The Hon. Elihu Root says the paths of glory lead but to Muldoon's and a slim diet
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

Newport is anxious to borrow the Prince of Wales for few days.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

Muzzles do not worry dogs worse than suspenders and stiff collars oo men,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

It is always difficult to locate with exactness Indian summer or dog days.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

The sheath gown is chiefly discussed bv those who never saw 1t.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
AN UNKNOWN QUANTITY,

AN UNKNOWN QUANTITY. Huh! A million dollars is nothing to me-"
 Good gracious, manl How you talki'' 'Yes, sir. It means nothing to me. never saw that much money and never expect to-
 FELLOW CITIZENSr'
 The campaign speaker
 Thinks it great
 To get right up
 And illuminate.
 Though what he says
 Is not so much,
 The way he says 1t
 Beats the Dutchi
 DEFINED ANEW "Pa, what is a philosopher?' "A poor man who hatters himself that he will live longer because he hasn't an automobile"
 ALWAYS ON TIME.
 While we're living
 This is true,
 Troubles never
 Over due
 A MEAN DISPOSITION. Poor old Smithby has the most can- tankerous wife in the world What makes you think so?'' Every time he talks in his sleep she wakes him up to contradict him.
 HARD WORK. Although the bard was out of tin And had a little pain, He wrote dozen stanzas in An optimistic vein, Remarking to himself the while, ITO simulate good cheer When plans go wrong and troubles rifle. Is worth ten thous. a yeari
 NOT A NECESSITY Platinum is quoted at s20 an ounce" 'Tm glad the grocer doesn't keep it."
 REPLIES. The show-Bills: Bryan and Taft. The naked truth might at least wear e. bathing suit. The glad hand will remain out until after the election The 'Catsup King"' is in the soup. Troubles with his wife Have you heard ". J. Bryan?" asks an advertiser. Who hasn't? Give me taste of life," sings a poet. Would a nip of aqua vitae do? Feels good to be $2s 900 ahead of the game, eh, Mr Rockefeller? Why abuse Judge Landis?" asks a
  easy! Tt is too hot to sim says a preacher. It is never too hot to do that
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

Boston claims to be literary, cui- tured and athletic, and full of beans
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
SUPPLY AND DEMAND

The output of silk hosiery has been increased"
 T presume that is because the onput has been increased"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

Loeb is not going to Africa. He has other big game to hunt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

CONTRARY TO PRECEDENT. q see where a man in Cincinnati was fined for illegal car riding'" "He must have had a seat"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

Some innocents 'scape not the thun- derbot.
 Anthony and Cleopatra.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
WHERE THE STUFF IS.

I made trip to the spirit world yes- terday."
 "Oh, come off" "Fact. I went all the way to Chatta- nooga."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
ALWAYS ON TIME

Poor old Smithby has the most can- tankerous wife in the world"
 What makes you think so?''
 Every time he talks in his sleep she wakes him up to contradict him..
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

No communication will be published without it's authors name. Rejected manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
DEFINED ANEW.

Pa, what IS philosopher
 "A poor man who fatters himself that he will live longer because he hasn't an automobile"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28
HE AGE- HERALD

Entered at the Birmingham. Ala, postoffice as second class matter under act of Congress March 8, 1S7s
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-28

"Huhi A million dollars is nothing to me"
 Good gracious, manl How you talkr' "Yes, sir. It means nothing to me never saw that much money and never axnaof fo
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1908-07-02
sHARpsBURG NEWS.

V A union picnic will be held in George
Poffenberger's woods north OF the
Dunkard Church by the K. OF P, Red
Men and Woodmen lodges OF this place.
They haven't set the day yet, but II
will be early in September. Other LODI
ges will be invited to join in with them.
Miss Alice Wilson spent part OF last
week with her brother, DR.. NICK. Will
son, in your city.
Clarence Snyder has returned TO Chi
cago, after a visit to his home and
friends here.
Lightning struck the chimney on
David Otto's new dwelling on Monday
evening, doing some damage to it.
The K. OF P. Lodge members will
turn out on Sunday evening at o'clock
on July 5th, when a memorial sermon
will be preached in the Methodist
church by Rev. Mr.. Lyle. They will
also decorate the graves OF deceased
members.
Mrs. Bette Schamel has applied for
an absolute divorce from her husband,
S. Tilden Schamel, for non-support and
desertion. He is now in Philadelphia.
Mr.. and Mrs. David Doub and daugh-
ter, from near Boonsboro, visited Mr..
and Mrs. Hiram o. Clipp.
Master ice Brashears fell from an ap-
pie tree and broke one of his arms.
Miss Ella Dorsey spent several weeks
with her cousin near Huyett's Cross
Roads, and attended her wedding.
Miss Mamie Moore, who has been
guest at Miss Leila Blackford's, has
gone to Chicago.
Miss Laura Dixon, OF Florida, is
spending sometime with her mother,
Mrs. Morgan Miller, in this place.
Miss Emma Cox, Of Roanoke, Va, Is
visiting relatives in this place.
Mr.. and Mrs. Willoughby Staubs, Of
Roanoke, are stopping with Jose phi
Staubs' family.
Miss Ina Fisher, spent several weeks
visiting friends at Brunswick.
Fenton Palmer intends to quit farm
ing next spring. he is the tenant on
the Sherrick farm near this place.
Va very large pear tree that has stood
the storms Of many years was blown
down during Mondays storm in Everett
Miller's yard.
Miss Mildred Smith and lady friend
near Shepherdstown spent several days
here with Mrs. j. c. Wilson.
Mrs. M. E. snavely improves very
slowly. Mr.. Snavely is around again,
but not able to do any work.
August Lowman, on the James Sny-
DER farm, near Antietam station, will
make 100 loads Of hay.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1908-07-02
Shield Of Honor.

At a session Of the Supreme Lodge OF
the Independent Order Shield OF Honor
held in Wheeling recently, by a unani-
nous vote some changes were made in
the insurance plan of the order. No
change was made in the rate Of assess
ment, which remains the same. The
plan adopted assures the membership
that there will be no change in the rate,
and if a member continues to pay TO
certain time in life his payments stop,
and the full amount OF his certificate
will be paid at his death. 1t is conced-
ed by all that the plan is far superior to
the old one, and the membership is
much pleased. The members of Cliff
City Lodge will send at once their GER
tifcates to the recording secretary Of
their lodge, when a new one will be is
sued. R. g. Miller, who attended the
session, reports that the order is in
good shape and prosperous. All mem
bers of diff City Lodge should attend
the meeting next Tuesday night and
hear his report.
G. w TERRELL. w. r.
d. l.. RENTcH, K. Sec'y.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1908-07-02
CHURCH DIRECTORY.

PRESBYTERIAN CHURCH-Rev. Charles
Ghiselin, D. D., Pastor.
There will be services in the Presby-
terrain Church Sunday, if Providence
permits, in Shepherdstown at 1870 a.
m. and at Kearneysviile at 3p. m.
LUTHERAN CHURcH-Rev. II. o. Hath
COX, Pastor.
Shepherdstown 1890 p. M, holy com
munion. Special offering for benevo-
lence.
REFORMED CHURcH-Rev. J. David Mil
Ter, Pastor.
Sunday School at 9.l5 a. m.
Morning service at 1870 o'clock.
Evening service at7.30 o'clock.
Mid-week service Wednesday 100 p.
m.
Welcome.
EPISCOPAL OHURcH-REv. O. E. A. MAR
SHALL, Pastor.
Morning service at II o'clock, and
evening service at 2 o'clock.
NJ. Z. CHURCH SoUTH-Rev. Il. l.
Stephens, Pastor.
Children's Day service at Uvills at ] 1
a. N.
NJ. E. CHURcH-Rev.W W. A. Lytle, Pastor.
Mt. Wesley 1870 a. m.
Sharpsburg 8 p. N.
Sunday School Shepherdstown $50
q. N.
Communion services will be held in
the Shepherdstown Presbyterian church
Sunday, if Providence permits, at TO-
80 q. m, preparatory services Saturday
at 1870 a. m. Service Sunday at Kear-
neysville at o. N.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1908-07-02

The REGISTER last week told the
story of bashful Daniel Matthews, Of
Jerseyville, ILL.,, who had four times
arranged to be married, but was scared
off every time before he reached the
altar. At last Daniel has been tied
tight, and Miss Frazier il now Mrs.
Matthews. "Brace up, Dan, and be a
man." said Parsou Jones, Sunday
night. "Do it this time, because if
you don't, l won't bother with you any
more. You've made four attempts and
you've sidestepped every time" Dan
gritted his teeth, clinched his fists, and
swore that he would stand until he
was hitched. He stayed until the
knot was tied, and now he says he is
the happiest man in Illinois.