The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-03-03
Mr. SnOOks Learns
TO Skate.
By nv RUTHERFORD M0RRIS.

renyl Sereny!"
Mrs. Snooks was in the act OF having
her skates adjusted. but without wait
Ing further. she FASTENED. with one
skate half on, rolling on one foot. and
hopping on the other. To the scene of
MIR Shocks distress. AS soon as he be-
held her at his side he burst forth:
Consarn IL! Is this what you
brought me out here for-to break my
neck? s'pose you remembered the in
surance policy, and thought this good
time to cash it in, eh?"
oh, Josiah. dear, Don't talk like
that replied his sweet natured wife.
please do not. l want you to learn
10 skate, and have a real good time.
Now, stand perfectly still until | get
my skates on, and I'll held you"
stand still!' he shouted. How in
the devil can | stand still with these
blasted rollers"
Once more his feet shot from under
him. Flat on his back he landed. How
ever, person falling at the skating
rink is no unusual sight. so he lay
unnotlced except by an instructor and
his faithful Serena.
"Oh. hope he isn't hurt, SIR" she
said to the gracious gentleman, trying
to assist poor Mr.. Shocks to his feet.
i should never forgive myself If any
thing were to happen to him."
oh, you wouldn't, would your"
gasped her husband. Don't look like
1t, does it-nag a mans life out of him
till you get rollers screwed on him,
and then say you wouldn't have him
hurt for the world Like as not, you
had the whole thing creased up for
my benefit. Then tell a man to stand
still-why don't you get that other set
of rollers on. if you are goin' to show
me anything?"
Yes, dear, will. Hold tight to the
railing, now; and don't move. I'll be
back in a moment" and she hoped
and rolled together back to the attend
ant, having Mr.. Shocks looking long
ingy after her, afraid to move even his
eyes in another direction
He watched her have the other skate
fastened on; then. rise from the chair
with all ease, and glide gracefully to-
ward him.
Now, dear, I'm ready Let's get
on the inside of the rail. Give me your
right hand first; now the other. and
walk-don't try to glide. Come on.
now-don't be afraid Just pick up
your feet, one at a time, and"
Did you think I'd be fool enough to
try to get both up at once? You must
take me for "a"
Chink chink, chink-e-ty chink! He
had lost his balance again; but faith
full to his speech, he did not let both
feet go at once. First one, and then
the other went up and down, while he
clutched poor Mrs. Shocks ferociously.
Both stood the test; they did not fall
Some one came to the rescue, and with
much effort, both together landed him
safe inside the rail, which to Mr.
Shocks mind did not, in the least, i'm
prove the situation.
"And that's what you are expectin'
me to do, is it?" nodding sarcastically
toward the whirling throng. Blamed
If can ever do it! My brain is in
such a whirl now, don't know
whether I'm standin' on my head or
not-ding it, there goes that blamed
foot again. Hold me tight, Sereny;
hold me-"
1--WE got you, darling; don't be
afraid. I'll not let you get hurt You
must hold my hand real tight; and
when l count three, glide out on your
right foot Now! one. two, three, glide.
Oh, why didn't you do it?"
do what" snorted Mr.. Shocks.
How do | know what you want me to
do. You must take me for fyin'
Dutchman"
Come on, dear; let's try it again"
sweetly replied Mrs. Shocks when |
count three. then. with the fourth
count, slide out on your right foot"
Il thought you told me to glide-now
you say slide. How in the devil am
to know what It is you want"
80 well, II is all the same, dear. Eth
er one means to roll Ready! one. two
three, glide"
well, when I glide, slide. or roll.
what are you goin' to do?" grufly de-
handed Mr. Shocks
why, I'm going TO glide too"
you goin with me them"
Sure. Smoky, dear I'm going right
with you unless
Unless I fall. / s'pose. Now. that's
a bright prospect for a skatin' scholar
amt it?"
oh dear" answered Mrs. Shocks
almost losing patience. II wish Won
would come on; the evening is half
gone, and We haven't made a start vet
DO you understand what 90 is I want
you to- do-want until count three
and then, You and I both will glide OUT
ON the right foot. Do you under
stand?'
mo! J don't understand why you
don't start ON the left foot What do
You always say the right one for?
Well. gol darn It,. come on! I'll try H.
If 81 Kills me-"
one two, three. glidcW and to Mrs.
SnOOks utter establishment Mr.. Shocks
actually started off His ponderous
body swayed 1ercely 10 and fro In his
struggle for equilibrium. he let go his
wife's hand and beat the air wildly. He
would have fallen. no doubt. but for
reckless dash into the arms of a wo-
man. who proved to be the old maid.
Hannah Moore. Of whom he stood In
much awe