Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-07-03

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What Is the capacity Of your
church," About 300 spring hats."-
Life.
Jeweler-Shall engrave the brides
initials on the inside? Fiance-Better
say, For my best beloved" Fliegende
Blaetter
Miss Millyuns (rather aged win
you love me when I'm old? Brighton
Early (absently) what do you
think I'm doing now?
The Professors Wife-You haven't
kissed me for a week The Professor
tabsently)-Are you sure? Then who
is 1t have been kissing life
Maggie (calling upstairs) THE gas
stove went out, mum. Mistress We'll,
light 1t! Maggie-It went out through
the roof, mum.-Success Magazine.
DE Quiz-Have you heard a robin
yet? De Whiz-No, but I've seen a
woman with her head tied up in tow
el beating a carpet in. the back yard
Judge.
Waiter (who has just served up
some soup looks uncommonly like
rain, sir Diner by Jove, and
tastes like it, too. Bring me some
thick soup.-London Tatler
"Bilger eloped with his cook. the
unfeeling wretch =" "Well, L don't
know. Why shouldn't he if he wanted
to" But his wife was just going to
give dinner party"-Life.
"The corporation has resolved at last
to lay out park for the benefit of the
poor" "Have the preparations begun?"
Rather All the Keep Off the Grass
boards have arrived already. Tit
Bits.
Going to make garden?' Not
much" II thought you were so enthu-
siastic on the subject last summer"
Wont you allow a man to learn any
thing by experience?' - Nashville
American.
Wink-He didn't use to dodge his
rich relatives, but he does now. Blink
Does, eh? And as poor as he is?
Wink-Sure All his rich relatives
have bought automobiles. - Chicago
Daily News.
BILL see in a favorable wind a
fox can scent a man at distance of
one-quarter Of mile. Jill-Of course,
he could scent him farther If the man
happened to be in an automobile
Yonkers Statesman.
"Beware!" whispered the fortune
teller; your bitterest enemy will
shortly cross your path" Hoo
ray" cried the man, delightedly; my
new motor car won't do a thing to
him" m."-Philadelphia Press.
Boston Bill-I'm getting weary of
this blase, nomadic, peripatetic exist
ence, aren't you, pal? Omaha Red
(after recovering) )-Why-e-r, yer see,
Bill 1t never struck me in dat light
before. Is it really as bad as all dat :?
Puck.
Excuse me for not stopping" ex-
| claimed Little. I'm in a hurry to get
home" That's rather unusual" said
Large, whats the trouble?" my wife
has a cold" explained Little, "and she
can't speak above whisper" The
Bohemian.
"The Swelltons seem to keep up an
imposing establishment" remarked the
canned goods drummer. "You bet they
do" replied the groceryman, with a
sigh long drawn out, "and I'm one of
the fellows they impose on" Chicago
Daily News.
Mamma, is the old black hen going
| to be sent away for the summer?"
mo Tommy; but why do you ask 2"
well l heard papa tell the new gov
erness that he would take her out rid
Ing when he sent the old hen away for
the summer."-Harper's Weekly.
"Confound it," cried the angry hus-
band, "any old thing appeals to you If
it's only cheap" His bargain!hunt-
ing wife grimly smiled. Don't for
get" she sarcastically remarked, that
you yourself are one Of my character
istic investments" Plain
Dealer.
What brought you here, my poor
MANI" inquired the prison visitor.
well, lady," replied the prisoner, 81
guess my trouble started in attendin'
too many weddin's.' "Ah! You learn
ed to drink there or steal perhaps ?"
mo, lady; l was always the BRIDE
groom" ."-Tit-Bits.
Have you fixed up my will just the
way l told you?" asked the sick man,
who was the possessor of many needy
relatives and some well-to-dO but