davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1908-04-30
Matka Boska, Ueieez z
ka nieszczesliwychl'l..

FTNE#H MW%sSE H#1EEE .EzEE~2 IG5.a&w sS..EGsES4Y Il
IA, niaszcznsIiwvch.
II
Gag dalszV.
Gdy hrabia, jake do6wiad~
czony znawca. przypatrywal
s;a eoLo}om Alhart nk}onil
no,uo-
o' so"
:skieJ p'esnl' ss-
Emma ] Gizele zwroclfy
i, =.s. Is 81
niesmia1e WejTzenie "a HUI
coma. kt6ry ciagle zaiety pta-
kam; -kniawai kosiei mru-
.l
a.
LUIGI
lss1 80: 80. 49,.
!.
Rrza.x.o t.;aan.m;
ze teskuota 60 zabija
zlod6 xwyc je dreczy,
l ss'aohet'e 1yo'' mia /:
A on " w'e1aoh 1eo'y'
o'us1 ny w. 1a'H9 e''Ee'
,..n,..
"a hi zdwoi moo '. ranieniu,
. Re zwyoiete wroga,
1ujrzysz " TWEEN. uacidnieniu
OLGA mako droga'
Hugo, podni6si glove u
zmarszczyi czofo... i
- Dosye tego, %6piewaku!
- krzyknie groznie; chcia'-
bym Gle skapac. " rowe 2
twe1m1,ll . zabam H.. Dosyec tego
= 80. A.At, -" . ~.
ma dzlsla]! jutro sproDu]q1
tWyeh ptakow, a ]ezell me me.
beda lepsze Cd c'eble, dacle
razem nurka v Renle.
lou mowlac,I nalat "lna'
wychyl'f ]edna = druga
care, rzacil sic ma fotel: y
snat pijany," !
W6wczas Emma rzekla 2
..# r. @
cieha do .miedzlenca
~
49,.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1908-04-30

lcswarieflY,.. z il K.W =. Al
- =. - - - q - -
viii,s, 81 | ] sss=lli.s1E.. c'zy
ohee 's's1, . 4 ~ aaalsas "
ten ton y dop ,,l1lltsq q. i:
Hun HI, m l1lEI wief
n' iI''ll,, d is:al . ID s'o .l9ile glove q,
q w 'Isili'la a. srzes s'e5ss -s3. b tsGs|'
VEINS. !. VI nis s~poas''evalen
|sie usllyszet teggo,, SGT mi al POI
wiedzial. W ll ! e ) ]; przyrze7
klein q mole pie: uslpgi, po
W il 1s1.ge 8, d k'151
=, q sprawl a atNo lEa|i, I. sp 3 !
wied1iwa, Pan Boz: nam do
|pomokel.-. J: !. .....
! tax sic stafo = Poczciwy
ten wie6nuia,ks byl narz a
Qpa i y lose Ban Bog, da-
ice go AlbertoWi q. pomo-
|cnika, Do %wybavienia ojca,
pokaza.l Al rag j lsszcze, ze mig
|dy dolby uczyyne,!k beg naggro
|dy ME zostsnie,
x;
w zamku Kancenellenbo
gen ryclhllllol do 3. Y
cieczkes hrabiego Wehrdy;
|lecz, 70 Hugo, : nigdy .swych
wiezni6w nie odwiedsal, EN-
ma zatem Ws al q 2 rzadca
fortecy postenoWili 9 tym
wypadku milazenis zacho-
- Il 44ssssl II
wac.
Kilka tygodnitak uplyne
10, gdy pewnego dnia straz-
~. -sss ~ Z ts:.a=x -. =. /, :
mix na wiezyF ujrza1 oddzial
fvojekia pod oh q ! cesar q
skan!a za apro:lll k.i i 4 Dlano
mac . teqa5 ] i 81, zktt6ry
Die bardzos;z'1t1xii;. ll[IflEI'la
zdzivi1 'zastr'xessll < CO
Ez;npa I, 3. 70 WoisiiE|,o| Me. n'iiee ,,pl
lkie',go o 9 = i m ], lei sobie,
zadnego 9 tenn ME. mialem
= ~. s-# -.-~.s;Es a4s.
Wiarus. (Winona, Minn.) 1895-1919, 1908-04-30

s sSs -sssssssn
lcze n liEIeyGlgselI Is aau III odlzEa@ii66iKsnlJIj,
czlowiekI surowy al pratR Viz
|dobry kiedy ME pijany u. ak
i pan jego. Ejl DO to- na-
szym panem ME 4arrtowae'.... y.
Naprawde, odpowie AZ.
bert, jeze]lii. on ubogich pa:
cholk6w tax traktuje, biada
temu, kto mu v dr,oge wei.
die.
I kto wpadnie v. kocie
[pazuryl... m6Wif dalej straz-
mix, p~rzymawiajac do 5azwis,
ka Katie ' co pc ~n;emiecku
znaczy kot. Prawda, e tu
b.ywaja straszne sceny... bic
dni wiekniowie! ale to do
mie ME nalezy.
Czy wielu jest? niby O
bojetnie zapyta Albert.
Czasami mniej, czasami
wiecej; jedni pierwej umie-
raia, .drudzy,; pbdniej, ci co.
odcho'daazzq daja niejsce nowo-:
przyby1ym. Ale jest jeden,
kt6rego dusza jakby przyku-
ia do ciala. Many go cd
dziewieciu lat j jeszcze zy-
|je... Prawda, &c PAM Emma
MIN sic opiekuje j. wszystkie-
|go mu dostarcza; ale to do
mnie mic ME nalezy: to
jego szczescie!...
Must to bye wielka f f.
|gura... dodal Albert, udaj4c
y
obojetnego. +
..- Ha! czy ME myslisz5 go
wykupic ziot6wka, co ma
ptakach. zarobisz, rzecze s:ra.
|znik, emiejac sic.
Oh! ia movie jakt t.:
to Do mn J: mic nie !. nltaa]lezy:
kot ma szozura, moze
go zjesc... chocby MIN by]
hrabia Wehrda...=e s7s
- Cz lig cii po,o1'w,''iiea'dlziai.t t.
imie? zawolal straznik, : pre-:
razeni'iiem .Patrzac na milo.
dzie6 ca. Znaszli ~ hrabiego
| Wehrda... J.
Slyszalem o MIN, cho'
dzac Cd zamku ola sprzeda-
~ ptak6w.-
)! = Jezelis sfyszal, to zapo-
mnij Q tenn, DO tn jedno slo-
,wo niepotrzebne mogloby Gle
DUO kosztowac..
Moi ojciec Jest u! re
|cze do siebie Albert, i, SERGE
jego zadraalo bole6nie:., ives.
tchnal do Bcga, proszac Q
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
DO YOU KNOW
WHAT WHITE LEAD 1877
its Chief Use and Method of Deter.
mining Good from Bad Explained.

White Lead Is the standard paint
material all over the world. 1t is made
by corroding metallic lead into white
powder. through exposing it to the
fumes of weak acetic acid and carbonlc
acid gas; this powder is then ground
and mixed with linseed oil. making a
thick paste. In which form 1t Is packed
and sold for painting purposes. Tho
painter thins 1t down. to the proper
consistency for application by the ad-
dition Of more linseed oil.
The above refers, of course, to pure,
genuine White Lead only. Adulterated
and fake white Lead" of which there
are many brands on the market, is
generally some sort of composition
containing only a percentage of white
lead; sometimes no White Lead at all;
in such stun. barytes or ground rock,
chalk, and similar cheap substances
are used to make bulk and initiate the
appearance of pure White Lead.
There is, however. positive test by
which the purity or impurity Of White
Lead may be proved or exposed. be-
fore painting with 1t.
The blow-pipe flame will reduce
pure white lead to metallic lead. II
a supposed white lead be thus tested
and 1t only partially reduces to lead.
leaving a residue. 1t is proof that
something else was there besides
white lead.
The National Lead Company guar
antee all White Lead sold in packages
bearing its Dutch Boy Painter" trade
mark to prove absolutely pure under
this blow-pipe test. and that you may
make the test yourself in your own
home. they will send free upon re-
quest a blow-pipe and everything else
necessary to make the test. together
with a valuable booklet on paint Ad-
dress. National Lead Company. Wood
bridge Building. New York.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
PERPETUAL MOTION. suRel
Inventor Cannot Stop Machine When
Once Started.

Evanston. Ia.-After spending two
years and putting a large amount of
money into materials, J. o. Scott of
this place claims to have solved the
problem OF perpetual motion. Ono
machine. having been weakened in re-
modelling, flew to pieces after running
period of three minutes. and he 10
now at work on a new model Of SO
substantial = pattern that 1t cannot
fail to stand the test. A governor 10
all he lacks. claims Scott. After start
ing his machine. he has no way of
stopping 1t except to load 1t until 1t
cannot run.
The machine. as has been the case
with all previous experiments along
this. line. attempts to utilize gravity
for power. On q six-foot wheel Scott
claims to have an overbalancing
weight Of 140 pounds. Weights, cams
and levers are used in its construc-
ton. but further than this. Scott will
not reveal the workings Of his model.
The weights on one side extend 1e
inches beyond the circumference Of
the wheel, and on the other side fall
four inches within. He expects to have
the machine completed in about two
0onihA
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
six KISSES A DAY THE LIMIT.
wife Toe AfVsstIonsts 90 chiessoan
lscvss Homo.

Chicaeo.-Six kisses . day are the
limit for Ora NJ. Leedom. He prom
ised Detectives Stark and johnson.
who arrested him for desertinG his af.
fecuonate wife. that he would stay
with her on that basis. He WAS found
in Springfield. ILL.,. where he went
seven weeks ago.
ITS . case OF too much 7ovey'
business" said Leedom. on the way
back from Springfield. MY wife
she was married once or twice before
is = good woman and \ fine house
keeper: but she 10 too strong on the
love business to suit me.
Now. I'm not = chilly guy or any
thing like that: but don't want .
woman kissing me all the time. When
l como home from work in the even
ing. like to sit down and read the
paper. Ny wife would want me to
hold hands with her and say foolish
things.
"A few days before jumped out Of
town, some actress down in New
York made hit with q kiss that last
cd ~ seconds. When my wife read
about that in the papers she said she
could beat It with one hand tied be-
hind her back. I'm ashamed to tell
you what happened"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
orialn of the Elevator.

The elevator originated in Central
Europe. The earliest mention Of the
elevator Is made In a letter OF Ma
poleon !. addressed to his wife. Arch
duchess Maria Louise. He writes to
her that when in Schoenbrunn. then
the summer residence of the Austrian
emperor. near Vienna. he used the
"chaise volante" tiying chair) in that
castle which had been constructed for
Empress Maria Theresa. 1t consisted
of a small. square room. sumptuously
furnished with hangings of red silk
and suspended by strong ropes with
counter weights. so that 1t could be
pulled up or let down with great ease
in a shaft built for the purpose
about 1850.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
candy" AND "JoHN o." OUT.
Carnegie and the OIL Man Disagree
Over Game Of Golf.


New York.-AIl because of a game
OF golf Andrew Carnegie and John d.
Rockefeller, two of the most distin-
guished devotees Of the game In this
country. are reported to have broken
friendship OF years standing. For
months. It Is said. they have not
spoken to each other and the formerly
frequent visits have been abandoned.
Although the quarrel which caused
the estranEement occurred last fall.
the story has only got abroad.
The warm argument over which OF
the two won a game over John D.'s
private golf course at Pocantico Hills.
Is said to have caused the old friends
to part. Both assert their differences
cannot be patched up without an apol-
ogy from the other. Each asserts he
will never apologize.
From all reports. It was the hot
test kind of u game that caused the
trouble. First one WAS ahead. then
the other. At the sixteenth hole.
Rockefeller announced the score. say
ing he had made 7s strokes. against
CarneEie's 81. Tho former steel king
disputed this, saying he had made
only 7s. Carnegie captured the next
holes in three fewer strokes than
John. He claimed final score Of S.
to Rockefeller So. John d. asserted
the proper score was 81 to So in his
favor. From this beginning the arEu-
ment grew so warm that their friend
ship broke under the strain.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
RUSTIC WANTS FILIPINO BRIDE.
New York Farmer AdvsrtIses sos .
Brown Girl In . Manila Paper.


Utica, N. VA paper published In
Manila, Philippine Islands. recently.
and Just received here. contains the
following:
Wanted.-An orphan girl for . wife.
between the ages of IA and "a. Send
with dowry of $3.50 to Little Falls, N.
Y. freight paid"
This is the gist of the wants Of Ar
thur Congdoh of Little Falls. N. T.. In
a communication written to the sec
retary OF the interior simultaneously
with his inserting the above lad" In
a Manila newspaper. Congdon said
In his letter to the secretary that he
had read OF the offer of tho govern
ment to provide for the care Of Fill
pino girls and the payment to those
Of marriageable age, who married, q
sum equivalent to the cost of two
years maintenance, about $50.
He said that his work on the farm.
where. among other duties. he cared
for As cows. precluded his going TO
Manila for an orphan girl. but that
he would make one OF the maidens
his bride II the government would
ship him one. freight prepaid. and
send along with her the $50 dowry
Congdon. who evidently misinterpreted
the cable news regarding the gov
ernment's plan for marrying on its
eligible wards in the Philippines. 10 a
goodlooking. husky young farmer
and insisted that he is sincere in his
desire to get a Filipino bride.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
WHY THEY SLEEP IN CHURCH.
Hypnotisn, Not Drowsiness, Declared
to Be the Cause.

"Churchgoers don't sleep In church.
They undergo an hypnotic trance.
The soothing voices and mild music
and monotonous recitative Of church
service put forth powerful hypnotic
influences. and that is why the pews
resemble q railroad track In the
abundance OF their sleepers."
The speaker. a hypnotist. banged
the table vehemently.
Don't laugh" he said. ''It's true.
Hypnotism. not drowsiness. is what
makes you sleep In church. Through
your auditory nerve sound waves arc
passed to your brain that are as ef.
fective n though . professional hyp-
notist had made them. Sound. you
know. IL the newest and best hyp-
motto.
AT frst. in the church service. the
periodicity OF the wave alterations ID
short. There IL = little speaking.
then more music. And Just when you
are getting properly lulled the Clergy
man. In = modulated. agreeable. sooth'
ing voice. speaks on and on and on
and you begin to nod. You are. hyp'
noticaliy speaking. entranced.
The average church service II
scientifically correct hypnotic instru.
ment. No wonder. then. 1t puts many
Of Us to Sleep"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
rr.n,mItted Snake Bite.

An extraordinary case Of snake pol
soning is reported from country hos
pital In Victoria, N. s. w. An old man
was brought in In a comatose state
and showing all the symptoms Of hav-
ing been bitten by a venomous snake.
But on Investigation 1t was found he
had been bitten by a dog, which died
almost Immediately afterward from
snake bite. Medical treatment was
successful. and the man gradually re-
covered from the snake poison which
the reptile had indirectly transmitted
TO him.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
Billion Dollar Grass.

Most remarkable grass of the century.
Good for three rousing crops annually.
One Iowa farmer on 100 acres sold g..
$1,000 worth of seed and had 900 tons OF
hay besides. II is immense. Do try 1t.
FoR 10c AND THIS NOTICE
,end to the John A. Salzer Seed Co. La
Crosse, Wis. to pay postage, etc, AND
they will mail you the only original seed
catalog published in America with sam:
pies of Billion Dollar Grass. Macaroni
Wheat, the sly miller mixer, Sainfoin the
dry soil luxuriator. Victoria Rape. the 2Oc
a ton green food producer. Silver King
Barley yielding l73 bu. per acre, etc. etc.,
etc.
And il you send l4c we will add pack
age of new farm seed never before seen
by you. John A. Salzer Seed Co., La
Crosse, Wis. X. & w.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
Didn't Need II.

Agent-Here's a book that will be
welcome in every family. 1t contains
all the rules OF etiquette and direc-
tions for avoiding slips in grammar.
Hiram Grasscutt-Don't need moth
in of that kind. Got a daughter hum
from boardin' school, son goin' to
high school an hired man who's a
college feller workin' fer his health.
But. by jing. partner. it's relief to
talk once in while to a common,
ordinary person. l don't need the
book. but I'm darned glad you called.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
No Use Oodoino.

Among the men who served among
Rooseve:t's Rough Riders in Cuba was
. little Dutch Jew. who. according to
tho men In his own troop, was the
very incarnation OF cool. impudent bra
vado In o nght." He was a consistent
fafalist.
One day he observed n comrahe
dod&ing a spent bullet that had whis-
tied uncomfortably close to him.
Watts 10 use to dodge dem pullets?"
sang out the little Jew. ''Dey1l hit
you shust as veil we're you are as we're
you ain't:"-Everybody's Magazine
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
A Hard Head.

Representative Mccall OF Massachn-
setts. said to Representative Williams
OF Mississippi. while chatting recently:
John. 10 1t true that one can never
in1ure a Southern darky. by striking
him on tho head?"
Absolutely true" responded VIII
liams with an air Of great gravity.
"As an instance In point will convince
you. A Mississippi darky went TO
sleep in q barn with his feet against
tho side. In the night q mule kicked
him in the head and the concussion
broke his ankle"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
Lktiston's Steamer.

Martin W. Littleton. leading conn
eel in the Thaw case. has . ready way
with him." said . New York lawyer.
"OAe night at . dinner I heard him
get back at an opponent like this:
Gentlemen he said. II you knew
Blank A. well as l do. you'd under
stand that when his mouth opens his
brain ceases to work. He reminds me
Of little steamer that used TO run on
TIE Missouri. The steamer had n sew
en.inch whistle. The effect OF this was
that when the whistle blew the
steamer stopped"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
Gixina II the Acid Test.

The clairvoyant was swaying back
and forth under the severe strain OF
her mental connection with the realm
OF spirits.
Now" she chanted. "call upon any
soul you will and will make 1t speak
to you-yes, even visible to you For
she was up to date In the biz.
Bring me-" asked the masculine
skeptic. 'Brevity. the sonl OF Wit"
Right here the seance ended.-Cin-
cinnati Enquirer.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
DEEP CRACKS FROM ECZEMA

Could Lay siats-Peneii In ons-hands
In Dreadful State-Peemansnt
Cure In cutieura.
Il had eczema on. my hands for
about seven years and during that
time had used several so-called rem
edies. together with physicians and
druggists prescriptions. The disease
was 10 bad on my hands that / could
lay . slate-pencii In one Of the cracks
and . rule placed across the hand
would not touch the pencil. kept
using remedy after remedy. and while
some gave partial relief. none relieved
as much as did the hrst box OF Cuti-
cura Ointment / made a purchase OF
Cuticura Soap and Ointment and my
hands were perfectly cured after two
boxes OF Cuticura Ointment and one
cake OF Cuticura Soap were used. w.
H. Dean. Newark. Del. Mar. rs. 1907"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
HAPPY OLD AGE
Mos. Likely to Follow Proper Eating.

As old age advances. we require less
food to replace waste. and food that
will not overtax the digestive organs.
while supplying true nourishment.
Such an ideal food Is found in Grape
Nuts. made of whole wheat and barley
by long baking and action OF diastase
in the barley which changes the starch
into sugar.
The phosphates also. placed up un-
der the bran-coat Of the wheat. are in
cluded in Grape-Nuts. but left out Of
white flour. They are necessary to
the building OF brain and nerve cells.
II have used Grape-Nuts." writes an
Iowa man, for s years and feel as good
and am stronger than was ten years
ago. am over "a years old. and at
tend to my business every day.
Among my customers meet man
every day who is 90 years old and at
tributes his good health to the use Of
Grape-Nuts and Postum which he has
Grape-Nuts with Postum and says they
go fine together.
For many years before began to
eat Grape-Nuts. could not say that
I enjoyed life or knew what It was TO
be able to say I am WE'LL suffered
greatly with constipation. now my hab-
Its are as regular as ever In my life.
whenever I make extra effort I
depend on Grape-Nuts food and 1t Just
nils the bill. / can think and wIite
. great deal easier"
There's q Reason" Name gives BY
Postum Co, Battle Creek. Mich. RsAA
'The Road to Wellvills." u okN
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
Beyond Him.

On the occasion of the production
Of Lucia" at the Metropolitan opera
house last winter a well-known club
man. who had taken a cousin from
Connecticut town to hear Donizettis
great work. turned to his relative dur
ing the first intermission and asked
how he liked the opera.
"Oh. pretty fair" said the visitor:
"but is the whole blamed thing In
Latin ?'-Harper's.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
Where He learned His Trade.

Employer to applicant for work:
You say you learned your trade. az
an apprentice in one of the largest con-
Germs In the country"
Applicant-Yes. sir. and during my
i've yea.s' apprenticeship worked
without receiving cent for 1t!
Employer-Did you work steadily all
that time without pay?
Applicant-I did. sir. and got
through Only yesterday!
Employer-You must be very indus
trious and ambitious. Where was 1t
you learned your trade2
Applicant-In Sing Sing prison.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
Power Of DeceivInc.

There is Brooklyn woman who
possesses servant who Is model in
all respects save one-in that she is
none too truthful.
Lately the mistress has been using
all her eloQuence TO make Nora see
the error Of deceitfulness. But at last
she had to own herself beaten when
Nora. with beaminK Irish smile.
turned and In q most cajoling tone
said:
"Bure. now. mum. an wot de ye sup
pose the power Of desavin' was given
us for?"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
c.uaht Up With the Cow.

Whats the matter?" asked a pas
senger on little North Carolina rail-
road. more remarkable for discretion
than for speed, as the train came to a
etandstill in the midst of green fields.
Cow on the track" replied a train
man laconically.
What's the matter now" asked tho
passenger an hour later. as the train
stopped once more.
Caught up with the COW again. '
growled tie brakeman.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02

but my back was lame and weak.
and every exertion sent sharp
twinge through me. l had to get up
several times each night and the kid
ney secretions contained heavy sedi-
ment. Recently l began using Doan's
Kidney Pills. with fine results. They
have given me entire relief"
Sold by all dealers. so cents box
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo. N. Y.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
s,renuou. Method Of Saving Life.

Two officers who were hunting
wolves on the Dry mountain in CEN
trail Servia lost their way in a fog.
After wandering for IA hours one OF
them lay down in the snow and speed
lily became unconscious. His comrade
bound him with cords. placed him
in a sitting position and then rolled
him down the mountain. He glided
down the slope at terrific speed and
reached the bottom safely, being found
an hour later in an exhausted condi-
tion by a peasant. He is now In the
hospital being treated for the lacera
tions he received in humping over the
rocks during his descent. His COM
panion is unhurt.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
Thanksgiving Rspartee.

Buggins Crying to be facetious)-
Well. Uncle Nose. we've had some
pretty dark nights lately. 80 suppose
you have secured your Thanksgiving
turkey all right.
Uncle Mose-'Deed an hasn't! De
dark nights war all right. an I knew
where there was a fine turkey, but
. .some wufiess white trash got dare
Ahsad OBJ me.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
That's All.

Hdward Payson Weston. the fameus
veteran walker, talked regretfully in
Chicago about walking's decay.
'Pedestrianism," he said, has died
out shockingly. A little boy said 70
me the other day:
What 10 . pedestrian?
II answered. truly enough:
"'Oh, he's Just one Of those fellows
who kick up q row when an automobile
runs them down."
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
On the JUDGES.

A celebrated Scottish lawyer had to
address the Caledonian equivalent OF
our supreme court. His pleading oc-
cupied an entire day. After seven
hours Of almost continuous oratory he
went home. at supper and was asked
to conduct family worship. As he was
exhausted his devotions were brief.
II am ashamed OF ye." said the old
mother. ITO think ye could talk for
seeven hoors up at the court and dis
miss your Maker in seeven minutes"
"Ay. vera true" was the reply. but
ye maun mind that the Lord isna sac
dull in the uptak As thae judge
bOdi0a~
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02

at the age of 9S.
For 40 years he was
a victim of kidney
troubles and doctors
said he would never
be cured. Il was
trying everything"
says Mr.. kollock,
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
Frozen Lambs.

BILL see that Of domestic animals.
sheep come first as cold resisters.
Sheep have lived for weeks buried in
snow.
Jill-They've often been frozen out
In Wall street, though.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
A Diplomat.

$50 you gave your husband q box
Of cigars?"
"Yes," answered young Mrs. Tor
kins.
Did he appreciate them7"
Indeed he did. He values them 80
highly that he is smoking a pipe SO ~
not to use them up too fast"
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02

Instead Of doing things there are
lots OF men who just sit around and
make a specially OF knowing how they
should be done.-Chicago News.
The Elk Mountain pilot., 1908-04-02
No cempensatIon Neeess.ry.

know . young fellow who went to
work in a railroad ONCE down town.
and tho first week he was there the
"boss" caught him kissing the type
writer. he glared at him and shouted:
Say. Howard. do pay you for kissing
my typewriter" mo. SIR" answered
tho boy. you don't have to pay me,
Ill DO It for nothing"