davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

Fat ladies are almost unanimously OF
the opinion that Directoire gowns ought
never to be tolerated in this country"
says the Milwaukee Sentinel. Naturally
II Is easy enough for the Sims to meet
the emergency, but it's a physical i'm
possibility for the stouts to do It.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
Poor Start.

HE didn't have over 800 in money
when he came 10 this country and now
he owns several farms. some bank stock,
and things like that"
THAT isn't so bad. still. 500 was
something. I didn't have a cent when ]
came into this country"
You? Where did you come from?'
II was born here"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

The President is said to have tired Of
so pleased and returned to Dee
lighted says a contemporary. The
truth Of the matter is. reports from the
Taft boom have caused him to overwork
both OF them considerably.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
A Happy Prophet.

From the Boston Herald
The New York Tribune. which IS stlu
the leading advocate Of Mr.. Bryan's nomi-
nation, gives him 546 Of the 7S5 Democratic
delegates. and makes him prac. icaly So.
OF the nomination on the first ballo;.
Happy Tribune!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

"Mr. Bryan will get the Massachusetts
delegation at Denver, and IN November
Will get 1t In the neck in the same State.
as Of yore, says the Chattanooga Times.
Even as one precious Parker once got It
there; but the Times probably doesn't
care TO talk about that.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
Fairbanks, PopulnrItr.

From the Rochester Union and Advertiser.
II Mr.. Fairbanks is half as frigid as he
is represented as being, he ought 10 be
the most popular candidate of the whole
lot during the heated term.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

An Indian potentate has ordered the
feet Of all defaulting bankers amputated.
That, Of course. VIII prevent their skip
ping out OF the country. but the Chinese
way Of amputating their heads is even
more effective.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

In view of the fact that the identity
OF the person who struck Billy Patter-
son has never been determined why not
get rid Of that question also by charg-
Ing II UP 10 Mrs. Belle Guinness?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

Some Of the fault-hnders OF Birming-
ham are complaining OF the near-beer OF
that town." says the Houston Post.
Doubtless some Of those people VIII find
fault with the street paving above. II
they ever get there. which Is more or less
doubtful
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
A King OF Science.

The remarkable scientific work of the
late King Carlos OF Portugal. as de-
scribed by Sir c. r. Markham in the
Geographical Journal. had for its aim the
good Of his people. Being deeply inter-
ested in the Importance of the fisheries
to a large section Of the Portuguese peo-
pie. he began in 1896 to make a thorough
and methodical study OF the distribution
Of various kinds Of fish. the periods Of
their arrival of the coast and their
habits. For eleven years he personally
conducted oceanographic campaigns on
his yacht Amelia, dredging sounding, and
collecting specimens Of fish. In addition
TO this work, he conceived the plan for
preparing a complete manual of the avi-
fauna Of Portugal two parts OF which.
on the thrushes and the warblers, have
appeared. They contain notes on each
bird. recording the Kings observations
Of its first appearance and departure, To-
cality, habits. The work IS illustrated
with forty colored plates made under the
Kings direction. His published works.
giving the results Of his investigations.
are eight in number, and described on
the title page as being by Don Carlos Of
BraganZa.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

Then, too, those lamentations OF Job
were written long before anybody ever
struck out with the bases full" says the
Atlanta Journal. Job was a patient man:
but nobody heretofore has thought II
necessary to hold him responsible for
Jeremiah's Lamentations
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

The governor OF Kentucky is said 10
entertain the opinion that the state
militia need target practice. Probably
they do. Why not try them on the
might riders?'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

Or. Parkhurst hazards the opinion that
the Ten Commandments are. as a whole,
a failure. We opine. however. that they
will be doing business at the same old
stand long after the doctor is forgotten.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

A Partisan suffragette is overwhelmed
with proposals OF marriage every time
she appears in the street This should
win many recruits 10 her cause from out
the ranks OF her own sex.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

The Atlanta Journal says the Guate-
malan navy consists OF "one catboat."
Still II It has TO be put out Of a combat
nine times before It is finally disposed
OF. it may not be such q mollycod1lish
thing after all
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
Long Future Ahead.

Fron The Arkansas Gazette.
Mr.. Roosevelt will be so young Then
he leaves the White House that he may
reasonably hope 20 enjoy a third term as
ex-Presldent
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
wouldn't Wash II.

What is that young man doing over
there?''
Trying to attract my attention with
the handkerchief Irritation, l guess"
You do not seem 10 be responding"
NO; I am not his laundress."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

Jupiter's eighth satellite has been dis
covered. 1t can never expect to figure in
the limelight again. however. until Ju-
plter manages TO lose II.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
Needed Training.

How did you get along with her
father?"
only $685.
He Is very blunt and plain-spoken
man; always calls spade a spade"
Il wouldn't mind that so much II he
didn't go out OF his way TO look on a
nice young man as a football"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

When Senator Plat designated himself
IAN old fool in one OF his letters to that
near-ahinlty Of his. he effectually estop-
ped HIS attorneys from fling an insanity
plea I'm his behalf
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

There are some facetious ones who
viii declare that Fairbanks has better
opportunity in Alaska than any of the
other Presidential candidates" says the
Terre Haute Tribune. Il would hardly
be accurate 10 call them "facetious
ones" would Il?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

Once more the question OF the over
crowding Of the dead in Westminster
Abbey has come W. this time over the
erection there Of a memorial to the late
premier, Sir II. Campbell Bannerman.
Both houses OF Parliament voted for such
a memorial unanimously. but Lord Lands
downe protested In the House OF Lords
against giving away the valuable remain
ing space in the abbey without good
reason. The London Times expresses the
opinion that the abbey ought to be re-
served for those whose national services
are Independent OF party. and not used
merely for political appreciation.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
Feminine inspection.

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer.
An Eastern woman has been made a
sanitary inspector. Her report concern
ing the condition OF her neighbours
kitchen is anxiously awaited
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
where Mental Effort FniIs.

From the Ohio State Journal
1t may be true that man lives in his
imagination, but you can't get sun-burned
just by reading the railroads summer
resort literature
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

could not hope 10 have accomplished will
probably be won by the strength OF the
Russian people
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

Of the jail where Harry Orchard is con-
fined speaks OF him as the 'lovellest
man" indicates that the sob squad IS
about to take Harry's case I'm hand
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

Still bitterer days are ahead for the
now muohly prosecuted mosquito. A
physician advocates mixing quinlne with
the kerosene oil.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
HID No Secrets.

II noticed the assessor looked you
squarely In the eye all the while you
were talking"
Yes"
1T didn't iiscommode your"
Not a 80. was only afraid he would
look me in the pocketbook"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

Prof. Bawden says love is not a neces-
slty. 1t is the mother Of some amazing
nevertheless.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

The Danville Register proudly pro-
claims that there is no skating rink in
that town. Now that Danville has gone
dry, let US hope the population thereof
is not given 10 skating OF any kind.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

II is being generally noted throughout
the land that the late conference OF gov
errors was personally conducted" by
the President Well. what did they ex-
pect2
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

A Washington man has perfected a sys-
TEN Of converting natural gas into alco-
hol Alcohol has been known 10 turn
men into regular gas engines.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

Mr.. Thomas w. Lawson has been
elected president OF a gas company. Mr.
Lawson is large gas plant himself.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
Hits the spot.

from the Boston Herald.
Gen. Luke Z. Wright as Secretary
Tafts successor would be a sort OF q
Tenn strike, as it were
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

So far as this campaign is concerned,
the Knox boom is not apt to make any
more fuss than any other Quaker gun
Pennsylvania could have entered
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

you gave me roses. love, last night"
sings a Philadelphia poet Still. II he is
going 70 burst into song every time she
does that, he may get lemon next time.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

The idea OF making the ancient city Of
Rome a seaport is one that Just now IS
exciting much speculation. This ideal.
which has been long under discussion. IS.
according to the British consul at Rome,
about to be realized. Several schemes
have been brought forward. including
one for ship canal something like that
Of Manchester. which carried sea trade
to that city. The royal commission ap-
pointed TO study the subject has. how
ever, adopted the project proposed by
the Italian board Of works, which IS 20
Grcdge the River Tiber sufficiently 20
allow ordinary steamers 70 approach
Rome fran the rivers mouth TO Fiumi-
elmo, where important entrance works are
20 be undertaken. Thus. for example.
the transfer OF cargoes from steamer 20
rail at Civita Vecchia, some fifty niles
OF, will no longer be necessary. But 1t
is probable that there will soon be other
developments which will make It possible
ere long for travellers to go from London
to Rome by water the whole way.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

It seems that there is one divorce 70
every twelve weddings in Maine. Looks
as if Maine might raise this ratio at least
TO sixteen 10 one.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
Nothing to DO

From tho Baltimcrs Sun
The delegates to the Republican con-
vention bid fair to have a mighty easy
time Of It
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

THE Republican party in Georgia is
divided into three factions" says a
Crackerland contemporary. Black. tan.
and white, Ell?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

A number Of colleges propose to hold
a peace conference. If It is hoped thus
permanently to quiet Chancellor Day. We
are for it,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
To the Antarctic Region.

While in this country Commander Rob
ert Peary is having considerable difficulty
In securing the funds necessary 10 equip
another expedition toward the north pole.
in which direction the United States al
ready holds the record. other nations are
not SO chary OF aiding their explorers
A few days ago there was launched at
ST. Malo the Pourquol Pas. a vessel
which has been especially designed TO
carry Jean CharcOts new expedition 10
the antarctic. The new ship is a wooden
vessel Of 500 tons, built thrice as stoutly
as an ordinary ship She is 125 feet long.
with three masts and an auxiliary steam
engine Of 550-horsepower. She will be
manned by a crew Of thirty. including
officers. and DR.. Charcot proposes to sail
in the latter part Of July. The expedI-
ton has been literally financed The
French government has voted GOO COO
francs toward the expenses. and liberal
donations have been made by the Rotns-
eh!lds and the Societe de Geographic.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
And Avoid the rennItr.

Poverty amt no crime" declared Tire
Tiffins, IAN II Il wuz. I guess 1 could
get brainstorIu.''
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
MEN AND THINGS.
Johnson. Political Mascot.

It is because Gov. John A. Johnson. of
Minnesota, is strong believer in his
political luck that the speech putting his
name In nomination for the Presidency
before the Denver convention will be
made by Winfield S. Hammond, Of the
Second Congressional district OF Mime
sofa. Gov. Johnson thinks Of Mr.. Ham
mond as his political mascot 1t wss he
who nominated Mr.. Johnson for the gov
ernorship OF Minnesota for both his
terms. and each time johnson carried a
normally Republican State into the Dem
ocratic column. 1t is hoped that Mr..
Hammond's nominating speech next time
may have a national effect. instead of
limiting the luck 70 the governors home
State. Mr.. Hammond is something OF a
mascot in his own behalf. also, Tor he
has gone TO Congress as a Democrat by
defeating former Representative Nc
Creary. who was one Of the Republican
leaders OF the House during his service
there.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
THEIR GRIEVANCES.

When two men whom you know fall out
and shatter friendships gem,
think 1t wise, beyond a doubt, 10 side
with one of them.
Ind why should you distinctions raise
and choose between the pair?
Because this course will smooth the ways
and save you lots Of care.
When two men whom you know fall out,
let wisdom be your guide.
think 1t wise. beyond doubt, that you
:hould take a side.
You may not deem such action kind, to
take II be quite loath;
But otherwise you'll have you'll find, to
listen 10 them both.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
The Limit.

THE meanest man has been discov-
cred"
Again."
It's a fact He makes his wife crawl
under the automobile when anything goes
wrong"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
Quite So.

That's the Goddess OF Liberty" ex-
planned the New Yorker Fine attitude.
eh?"
Yes. and typically American" re-
sponded the Western visitor. Hanging
TO a strap"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
A. Per Contract.

"A penny for your thoughts" quoth
she.
Il was wondering II you would marry
me-" said he.
Then. Of course, she had 70 give as
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
That Hydrophobin Scare.

The champion dog catcher Of the Unit
ed States is David Steenfield. OF Mont
clair n. j.. and It is worthy OF note that
he is a firm believer in the fallacy Of the
theory that hydrophobia can be co. D.
municated through the bite OF a dog,
and be ridicules the idea that DR.. Marsh
Of Flatbush, n. J.. died from what the
New York scientists described as rabies.
Steenfeld is the official dog catcher for
Montclair. Madison. Nutley. and several
other towns in New Jersey and, accord
ing 10 his own statement. to be verified
by numerous scars, he has been bitten
hundreds OF times Il have been bitten
ten often" he says. by dogs that were
afflicted with rabies. and ] have never
suffered any evil effects from the expert
ence. AS TO the disease being communi-
Gated from handling an infected dog, !
do not believe that such a thing IS posi-
bic. I have captured over 200 dogs in
the course OF my career. and IN that
number were scores that were declared
mad. I have captured them with my
bare hands. when my fingers were sore
from bites. and not once was I infected
by the germs OF hydrophobia."
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
The St. Gaudens Money.

Twenty-dollar gold pieces Of the design
by st. Gaudens. those with the raised
figures and without the motto. In God
we trust" are now selling among collec-
tors for as high as $40 each. Speculation
in all such coins of the $50 and SO de-
nominations seems 70 have become gen
eral since Congress decided 10 restore the
motto. Collectors have eagerly sought
them at the banks. but the United States
Treasury has got hold Of as many OF
them as possible. and It is said that there
are very few in circulation. The original
issue OF the mottoless coins was not OBJ
jected TO because OF the absence Of the
motto, but because the artistic design
was In such high relief that the coins
would not stack up, and were hard 20
count A change was made in this re-
gard. and a lot or the coins were issued
that were more fat and that would stand
up In piles, but now that the motto has
been restored Il Is beliered that all Of
the mottoless coins will be called in, and
that inside Of a year there will be none
10 be had outside Of the cabinets Of coin
collectors.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
Good scheme.

How did you cure him of rocking the
boat?"
Quite easily. I simply began to toy
with an unloaded pistol I happened 70
have"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
Some Changes.

Her face is familiar"
Then, why don't you speak?'
Wen. her hair and her figure are not
familiar"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03
An Annual joy.

An Annual JOY.
Now looms IN sight
The years delight
And pride.
Each day we meet
The blushing, sweet
June bride.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-03

The story printed tonight that a few
days before the election Of 1900 Chair
man Jones received $4,000 campaign
contributions. which he returned 70 the
contributors. is silly. He only received
about S17o0. which he distributed among
the hard working clerks, who had worked
without pay for three months.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-04-21
THE NEW IRELAND.

Sydney Brooks continues in the
April number of the North American
Review his study of The New lrn-
land. This second article of the series
is devoted to a general survey OF the
situation in the Emerald Isle. Dis
cussing the possibility of the occasional
recurrence of agrarian outrages, he
says:
There are many landlords who have
refused to sell under the Wyndham
Act, and to these some form of COM
pulsion will have to be applied. Again,
in the barren and backward West,
where the best land is given up to stock
raising and the peasants lead a life
.of appalling restitution on their
wretched five-acre holdings of bog and
stony moor, there is a fierce agitation
for the partition of the grazing-land
We have not, therefore, by any means
seen the last of agrarian unrest and
possibly of agrarian outrage in Ireland.
The peace of which | have spoken is
relative only. It may not again
be broken in the old convulsive fashion
with the murders of landlord and
their agents, the roughing of cattle,
boycotting and arson, and an entire
society thrust by every ingenious wea-
pom of organized terrorism into con-
dition little short of anarchy. Ire
land at large has advanced beyond that
stage; but what is true of the country
as a whole is not true of every section
in it. Here and there, in this locality
and in that, the bad times may be
again reproduced on a smaller scale, in
a more modified form, but with effects
not less ruinous and demoralizing than
of old"
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-04-21
Shipping in Port


(Army and Nayy.)
U. S. S. Iroquois, Carter, Midway,
March 27
(Steamships).
o. S. S. Alameda, Dowdell, San Fran
cisco, April II.
(oaT11ns Vesse1s1.
Am. SC. Andy Mahony, Gray's Har-
Dor, March 20.
Am. sp. John Ena, Madsen, Norfolk,
April 2.
Am. blk. Andrew Welch, Kelly, San
Francisco, April -.
Am. bkt. Klikitat, Cutler, Port Gam
BILE, April 8.
Am. sp. Dirigo, Goodwin, Baltimore,
April 16.
Russ. sp Dundee, Gustafson, Leith,
April 16.
Br. sp. Celtic, Monarch, Thomas,
Hamburg, April II.
Am. blk. Foohng Suey, Banfield, New
York, April IS.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-04-21

The charge of peonage against Lam
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-04-21

Zip and Yam Shee was nolle pressed
In the Federal Court this morning.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-04-21

STEAMERS TO DEPART.
Date. Name. For
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-04-21

U. s. Coast and Geodetic Survey ia
hles. The tides at Kahului and Hilo
occur about one hour earlier than at
Honolulu. Honolulu standard time is
10 hours 30 minutes slower than Green
wlch time, being that of the meridian
Of 157 degrees 80 minutes. The time
Times of the tide are taken from the
whistle blows at 1880 p. m. which is
the same as Greenwich, hours, 0 min
utes. The Sun and Moon are for Local
time for the whole group.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-04-21

On Saturday afternoon, Governor
Frear, in company with Superintend-
ent of Public Works Marston Camp
bell and Engineer Kluegel, made a trip
to several points where Campbelrs de-
partment has work going on or in pros
pect. The Nuuanu dam work was Wis
'ited and Alewa Heights also. trip
was made to Iwilei, where there are a
number of land exchanges in pros
pect, with the object of cleaning up the
swamp land in this section.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-04-21
IN THE CAUSE OF LEARNING.

so Crimson Gulch keeps a poker
game running night anu day now!"
said the tourist
Yep" answered Bronco Bob. I'VE
hate to do it, but moral obligations
must be met. A Teller out East gave
us a library on condition that we raise
a share of the expense, and we dasnt
let the kitty rest minute. Wash
ington Star.