Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-29
! MY L OST SELF:

relations were altered. She was the
wealthy mistress of all about her and no
longer dependent upon mrNhelp. and |
which she felt constrained to repay and
reward. At least that was how l read
the change in her. And as IL to empha-
size It, she spoke in Italian.
l had no right to complain. of course
l was far worse than peasant in her
view. But the fact that she could not
know otherwise did not reconcile me to
the change. nor ease the CALLING pain 1t
caused me. l had hoped. like the love
crazed fool I was, that some subtle in
stinct would have shown her that / was,
of different mold from the men of the
island and have led her to understand
my motives. And my heart was sick
with disappointment.
Where I go and what I do can be
nothing to YOU" l replied. sullenly and
resentfully in my reasonless anger, like
the churl I was
There you wrong me. I should. in
deed. be ungrateful If it were otherwise.
l owe you what is more to me than my
lie. and you must not refuse me the OPP
portunfty to repay you so far as | can.
L can aid your escape and | wish to do
so. brought you into the house for that
very purpose. You can get away not only
from this district. but from Sicily alto
gether. To man capable of doing what
you have done for me. such life as that
with Beltano must he intolerable. / ask
no questions to how you came to join
him. You have told me that you have
changed since-since the act which has
brought you into danger. You need only
q chance to do we'll for yourself and live
down the recollection of all this part of
your life. l wish to think that such
chance Is given TO you and that in some
degree l can help You to it,
Are you offering me money! I asked.
bluntly. with bitter smile at my fool
thoughts of a few minutes before.
She WINGED and frowned and shook her
head quickly. Don't put it so. | am
rich but 1t is not with money l should
dream OF repaying an act which no mera
money could compensate. 1t is a new life
l would have you lead. A life. perhaps.
OF toll and struggle. but an honest one.
away from the men among whom you
have been living and removed from the
temptations which must have drawn you
into association with them. In northern
Italy l have an estate, where you can
make for yourself home and She
paused and threw up her hands as
shook my head. II am afraid | put it
clumsily," she added. with a half-sup-
pressed sigh
"On the contrary thank you for the
Offer
But you decline it?''
Yes. although not from such motives
you may think am not in need of
such help-Or, indeed. of any help of that
sort. l have still work to do. task to
accomplish. and that Of itself would make
it impossible for me to accept your offer"
You will not let me do anything for
you?'
There is nothing which you could do
Can I not help you In the work of
which you speak? Although you have
seen me alone and in Beltano's power. /
have influence here in Sicily and powerful
friends who would help you
"A 1aip thank Won hnf would he of
no avail
Tell me at least what it is
Even that is impossible. If | succeed
you shall know. That is all I can say.
If fail-well. nothing will matter then"
She bit her hip In sudden veXation and
turned away. but almost instantly came
back. II cannot let you go in this way.
| owe you so much. You have risked so
much for me. ! cannot let you go. Do
you know the danger you are in of ar
rest? 1 have heard 1t again from my
servants since my return. The whole
countryside is ringing with your name.
1t has even been planned to send a force
to the island to find you. Your descrip-
ton is published everywhere. and the re-
ward for your discovery has been doubled
within the last two days. 1 have thought
of plan for your escape. I myself will
go to Trapani and take you with me dis
guised as one of my servants
But I could only refuse. Il thank you
y. i
which such a journey would entail for
you. but it is impossible. 1 shall not
leave the district until l have done what
l must do
Tell me that. then. Heaven knows my
will to help you. Can you not trust me-"
II should despise myself if / could not
II l am silent 1t is from no such motive
as that.
Then tell me- Let me do mething."
1 hesitated. If told her. she would see
hot I tot rnt, IN he trIo, Go,
Beltano's anger for having helped her.
1t would do no good to tell her.
She saw my hesitation and waited for
my reply with every appearance of in
tense anxiety.
In the pause there came a loud knock
ing at the door of the house. and mo-
ment afterward servant entered hur-
riedly saying that the carabinieri were
there.
Hold them a moment said Masta to
the man. and then to me. Il must admit
them. but they shall not find you. Come
She led me to room close by. where a
woman servant. white and scared of face.
was waiting. This is my dressing room:
my bedroom is yonder. Go there and
hide Even if they search the house
they will not venture to intrude there.
Blanca. this is a friend to whom l owe
my llfe-more than my life. indeed: con-
ceal him in my room and wait you here.
If any come here. call to me: but if you
love me- no one must find him.
The woman's eyes wdened in astonish-
ment and. as Masta hurried out she
gave me glance of profound -disfavor.
But after a moments thought she slowed
me away in closet among her mis-
tress' robes. The place was admirably
chosen for the purpose. 1t was con-
structed in very deep recess in the wall,
and as the floor at the back was lower
than that of the front. which was on d
level with the room. 1t afforded me space
in which l could lie down The woman
covered me carefully with shawls and
garments of one sort and another. and
having assured herself that I was en-
trely concealed. she went away, leaving
the door of the closet ajar-a cunning
device. suggesting that the place was put
to none other than its ordinary use
My first thought was one of amazement
at Masita's reckless consideration for my
safety. To shelter me at all under such
circumstances was to run the risk of
grave penalties. for my discovery must
inevitably involve her very seriously with
the authorities. But to have hidden me
in her own chamber was to hazard her
very reputation and good name.
cursed my stupidity for having
yielded to such an extreme step in the
of the men. and regretted with impotent
bitterness that l had dallied long enough
in the house to give them time to get
wind of my presence there.
! had not dreamed that the pursuit
would be so swift ana Keen and then I
began to consider how they could have
found me so quickly. There could be but
one explanation. Giovanni and his COM
panfon. tempted by the reward offered