Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1908-07-23
SHOULD A BRIDE PROMISE IL
"OBEY."


dorothy Dix in the 81. Louis Times)
good deal Of discussion has been
raised of late relative to the use of the
word obey in the marriage service.
II is coming to be recognized that 1t
sits lily upon the modern maiden's
fancy to take a vow of subservience
to a mere husband. Some strong mind
ed young brides have hatly refused TO
swear at the altar to do IA thing that
they had no intention whatever OF do
ing.
Many clergymen coincide In this view
Of the case and voluntarily leave out
Of the marriage service the obnoxious
word one famous bishop just'fying the
omission on the ground that he became
convinced Of the futility Of exacting
such promise Of n woman after hay
ing married and lived for ~ years
with the best wife in the world, who
had never once in all that time obeyed
him.
OF course, woman's promise to
obey" her husband harks back to the
time when the wife was the husbands
chattcl and slave. and 1t is inappro-
pirate enough to these times when the
wife Is the husbands equal, IL needed.
she !s not his superior, as sometimes
happens
Undoubtedly the word obey" strikes
on a woman's ear Ike the riveting on
of chain OF bondage. and the only
thing that makes her stand stu and let
II be done Is the knowledge that 1t is
play acting. a mere figure Of speech. n
tradition, conventionality that means
nothing, just as old fashioned people
still often subscribe themselves in their
letters as your obedient servant"
SHE SAYS IT, But DOESN'T MEAN
1T.
Certainly the bride who murmurs so
sweetly through her veil that she prom
!ses to obey the man she holds by the
hand, until death do them part, has no
idea whatever of obeyins,
She intends to do, in reason, what
ever the man wants her to do. She In
tends to cross and vex him as little as
possible and so humor his whims and
caprices; but that Is because she loves
him and wants to make him happy.
As for the important things In life.
she expects to talk them over with him,
calmly dispa ssionatey. with as free an
expression OF her opinion as Of his.
and when the subject is thrashed out
| the decision arrived at will he just as
much hers as his, OF he will be quite as
likely to do her way as she his.
There will be no obeying by either
party in the entire matter, as there
can be no obeying by twin monarchs.
who reign with equal power over a
happy land.
As for the man arbitrarily laying
down the law on any subject and ex-
pectlng her to meekly kow-tow To his
opinion-well, she'd Just like to see
herself doing it, that's all
Promise TO ''obey" man" Pouf
why should she do 1t? She's had a
college education, and the man she
marries hasn't She's had the advan-
tage OF travel; and he. poor dear has
had to work hard that he's never
been out of his own ward She's hao
the broadening influences Of better so
ciety, more artistic cultivation thar
he has.
The man is all right, He knows some
things better than she, and she knows
some things better than he. so VIII,
should she stultify herself by accepting
his views when her own are the bet
ter? Why obey" under such circum
stances.
SHE is TIRED OF OBEY1NG.
Resides which, one of the main things
that a girls gets married for Is to ge
away from obeying Shes tired of obey
ing her parents when she knows better
than they do. but one can't rebel Yer,
we'll against parental authority. with
a husband. it's different