The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-01-31
in AN UPPER
Berth
SIMON PuRE's TRIP TO NEW
YORK


mouth. Simon Pure had lost the
humorous expression which made the
face of the sage of Springwells so at
tractive.
"Why, Simon, what is the trouble?"
II seen it," he replied lowering his
of seeing it again.
Seen what?"
New York"
'You don't mean to say"
Yep" he interrupted. nodding his
head vigorously. 81 seen if from tn
top t. tn bottom, an inside out-Good
Lord!''
Tell us about it."
'Wa-al. it's just this-away. An oil
uncle o. mine passed in his ch-chicks
an left me hull thousand do..ars I'd
hearn an read so much % Gotham. l
says t. Mandy, Mandy, go t. town AN
buy tn best suit y kin get fer $40.
and pay as much as two dollars an
a half fer a hat, an we'll 80 t. New
York
Simon. SEES she t. me- Simon.
you're a fool I asst her why an she
sed we he'd about as much use fer
New York as dog hes fer a side peck
ct. Tibet made me mad an | tole her
t go t. thunder an I'd go--an did"
What did she say to you when you
got back?"
'She sed I WIZ a burned sight big
ger fool than | WIZ before | left-but
then y know she was mad b'cause !
didn't take her. Wa-al putting nine
hundred in tn bank, | TUX hundred
an few dollars Mandy had layin'
round loose, teliin' her t. draw ten. if
she needed it whilst wuz gone. and I
took tn train. AS | wuz a-goin' !
thought I'd so right. so | takes pull
lem sleeper. Tibet is, they calls it a
sleeper, but what for I'm burned II
know.
When I showed my ticket t. the
man at tn gate he sized up tn new
suit case an kind O grinned, but be
didn't say nuthin', so | went ahead
a-lookin' fer car six / couldn't find no
car six. / walked up an down. an
all could see wuz some highfalutin'
names. jawbreakers worsn the Skis
tibet hes tn ducks out my way Finally
walks up t Il swell coon with gold
braid on his cap an ses, Please. mis-
ter, kin y tell me where in thunder
car six is?'
Right in hyar, sir, right in hyar,
ses he. smilin' and perlite 1t made
me swell all up with pleasure. an
went into a dark hole of a hallway
an didn't know but what tn cuss
he'd got me into the wrong pew There
wuz some men behind ME. an one fell
Ter sings out, Well. so in or come out,
! don't give d-m which Tibet didn't
sound SO all fired perlite, but what |
could understand it, so made Il bee
line through drape tibet hung up, an
found myself in {; nice box with leath.
er-covered seats.
Finally lot O. swells came in an
set down. They looks at me as if I
he'd no right there, an it made me
feel gol-duru mad. Then along comes
tn conductor an takes my ticket an
tn sleepin' car tab, givln' NE a little
pink slip.
Here, consarn it, yelled, 'gim-
me my ticket. I hain't got t. New
York TIL conductor told me t. keep
my shirt on. aud tn crowd of swells
hollered an laughed. lowed>I hedn't
begun t. go t bed yet. aud tole tn
brass-bound gent not t git sassy He
seed | meant business aud kind o.
cooled down u bit, tellln' me Id git my
ticket in tn mornin'.
Upper II, sar! ses TIL darkey,
you berth is all ready, sar.'
"Wa-aIl, sir, tibet coon takes me
back through tn center :lisles between
a lot o Grapes that was tloppin'
round my shins t Where, there WIZ a
stepladder. He pinted t. it an
mounted. an there was, sure 'nough, a
bed made up on a shelf. I looked il
over an it louked good t. me. hit
climbs down an h,Intin' UP tn coon
who then he'd on white coat, asi
him where | could hang my clothes
He sed he'd show me- / c, ,uld see he
wuz tryin powerful hard MT t. laugh
He pointed to hammock IL ,ade outer
nsh netting swlngln' over {. n bed.
told him tibet wouldn't do as my new
suit would git all creased up l.h' wrong
Wy;
Seem nuthin' else T. do. i climb:
Up. an gift1n' nm tb' xfd tsSaot fuyr,