The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-11-10


losopher on his frequent journeys to
and from Boston.
Those were the days of warming
pans, and on the occasion of passing
visit of this sort in the bitter winter
weather Mrs. Babcock. according to
the author of ga History of the Epis-
copal Church In Narragansett, Rhode
Island" asked DIR. Franklin if he
would have his bed warmed.
No, madam; thank 'ee," was the
characteristic reply of the man of iron
constitution, "but if you will have a
little cold water sprinkled on the
sheets have no objection"
Immunity.
Satan had just ordered more coal
thrown on the fire.
by luminous" he cussed, "but that
last arrival is a tough proposition. The
more try to roast him the more he
smiles.'
He called the chief stoker.
''Well, what luck?' asked Satan.
The stoker shook his head.
Hes still smiling" he answered.
Where's he from?" cried Old Nick,
out of patience.
New York. He used to be baseball
umpire in
"Sulphurous serpents! Why didn't
you say SO before? Take him down:
we can't feaze him" bohemian Mag
azine.
Eating the Octopus.
At Atlantic City one day fisherman
caught an octopus, rare fish in those
waters. The octopus, which resembled
a frayed and ruined football of brown
leather, was carried home by the fish
erman in a bucket of water.
What am l going to do with it?''
he said. ''Why. I'm going to eat it.
I'd almost as soon eat octopus as seal
Tops. am a traveller, and 1 learned
in Italy and France the octopus ex-
cellence. You can't give an Italian of
the Riviera or a Frenchman of the
northwest coast, where the fish
abounds, more welcome dish. What
does it taste like? 1t tastes like seal
Tops or like tripe and oysters. "-Phila-
delphia Bulletin.
His Desserts.
They wanted an original closing cpl
sode for the great melodrama Ordi-
narily the baffled villain walks away,
with flippant sneer, andNghe sheriff
meets him at the left upper exit, but
this was old and crude. SO the play
wright set his wits to work with the
following result:
Just as the villain uttered his fare
well curse the low comedy servant
rushed forward and after shifting him
over the head with a suet pudding vio-
lently pushed custard pie in his face.
Waste no sympathy on the wretch,
my darling" the hero remarks to the
rescued heroine. HE has received
only his just dessertsr'
Quick curtain.-Kansas City indie
pendent.
Too Much For One.
81 am looking for my son." said a
sharp featured woman recently enter
ing an Office building in Washington,
where she found the janitor sitting at
the entrance tipped back in a chair
"Have you seen him? He's tall, slim
boy,
Every tall, was he?" asked the jani-
tor.
Every and slender"
81 think 1 saw him here a minute
ago."
where was hep demanded the wo-
man.
"Well, madam" replied the janitor,
'as nearly as / could make out, he
was on the first and second foors."-
Lippincott's.
lmpertinence of Genius.
DR.. Johnson once called upon Mr..
Garrick in London and was shown into
his study. Unfortunately, door being
open, he strayed into an adjoining
room which contained the novels and
lighter works which had been pre-
scented as tributes to the highly adj
mired actor. Johnson first read a bit
from one and then another and threw
luClu OOW1, SllCh1nS LDS uOOI WILL
the expensive volumes. Garrick was
angry at finding Johnson there and
said, This is a private cabinet, and no
company is admitted here"
"BGt," said Johnson, with imperti-
nent GOODNESS, 81 was determined TO
examine your valuables, which find
consist of three sorts-stuff, trash and
nonsense"
The Market In Cauls.
We believe that there is still some
market for cauls among sailors, who
/ retain their belief in the efficacy of the
membranes as a protection against
shipwreck and drowning. Notices of
! "Cauls For Sale Within" were to be
seen recently in windows in the vicin-
! ity of the docks of both London and
Liverpool, but it is some time since
we have noticed an advertisement of a
! caul for sale in the daily press. 1t
L u, Il l. l..