The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1908-02-27
The Lost Customer.

very stout woman hurried in. just as
the door swung shut behind her she
fell fiat upon the floor. Before any Oh
us could reach her she picked herself
ND with surprising quickness for wo.
man Of her size, gave a stony stare all
around the room, and then, without Ut
terlng word. turned around, opened
the door and walked out In the most
dignifed manner None of us has ever
seen the woman since, and ! suppose
her pride viii prevent her from ever
coming into the store where her hrst
appearance was so notifying New
York Press.
Astematism From Reading In Bed
Astigmatism. which Is condition
where the retroactive powers diner ID
the different mcridlans of the eye, Is
i'm most c;l Scs hereditary, but 1t Is often
acquired The error Of acquired nsllg
matsm often takes place during ana
/ after scycre Illness and can bcaNolh'
cd by proper precautions. The WhoI"
system Is in II weakened condition, ana
the person SO afflicted, being confined
to the house. will resort to reading To
pass away the time, and this Is often
pructiced while in reclining position
There can he nothing more injurious
than this practice Reading under these
conditions Overburdens the muscles.
AMI the action Of these muscles upon
the form of the eye causes an irrCgll'
larity In The curvature Of the cornea,
which Is l;nown as astgmatism This
Is detrimental to distant vision and
makes reading aud near work difficult
Health
Watering the Stock
When the old farmer entered the
bucket shop" he was angry all over,
Il don't think I'll invest II cent with
you" he calculated II just heard, by
hen, that YOU handle watered stocks"
The fake broker was nonpIused for
the moment Quickly recovering his
compoSurc, however, he slapped the
old farmer on the back and said in his
most fabricated tones:
My dear sir, of course our stocks
are watcrcd. We water them through
reCautlOn."
"precauion?"
Yes. In these days of fierce germs
and fcrOcious microbes we can't be too
particular. That is why we put all of
our stock through hot water process
before putting it on the market"
And the old farmer was so tickled
lie put up another S1O0O.-Kcnsas City
Independent.
The Wrong Prescription,
\ well known physician was telling
a friend of the humorous phases of
The practice Of medicine when he was
reminded Of the sad case of a patient
who was suffering from hay fever.
"Now, 1t Is Il fact" said the physi-
elan. that in hay fever there Is no
absolutely infaIlblc treatment Sending
one patient to certain climate may
result in Il cure which would not ma.
teriaIiZc in the case Of another AS a
rule, | advise the one afflicted to take
Il sea trip In this connection once
encountered Il great surprise, a large,
fine looking fellow came to me one day
suffering from hay fever in its most
aggravated form. made the usual
suggestion that he take trip at sea.
"Ile gave me Il look of disgust aud
prepared to depart 'Doggode i'd" he
exclaimed. 'I'b dee capdid of ad ocead
lider | lib ad sea! New York Trib-
une.
The Time to Quarrel.
In Lanarkshire there lived laird
named Hamilton. He was noted for
his peculiarities. On certain OCCASION
1 nelghbOr waited upon him asking
The favor us Il neighbor with the loan
If 80, 1t was only Il bill of accommo-
latlon for three months. which led to
he following reply:
Ma. na. | Gamma do that"
What for no. laird? Ye have dune
he same thing for ltherS"
AYE, aye, Tammas, but there's
wheels within We ken naething aboot.
Gamma do it,"
Its sma' affair TO refuse me.
arid"
'Weel, We wad get the silcr frac the
'ank, and when the time cam roond
'e wadna be ready. and | wad haze to
'ay't. sac you and me wa1 quarrel.
We may as weel quarrel the moo. as
ang as the slller is in my pooch"-
dundee Advertiser.
Helping Him Out.
miner rode into Santa Fe with dys-
pepsia one day. consulted doctor and