The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

such a bum year as years go,' said the House Detective philosophically.
 "Oh, not at all," said the Hotel Clerk. "Now that 1t is practically used up, all but thin, narrow strip along the back seam, can see where it was a perfectly good year in many respects. If she was to come in that door right now and ask for a reference, I'd cheerfully write one out, informing all whom it might con- cern that while Nineteen Eight had broken some of our most cherished glass ware. and had occasionally scorched the steak, on the whole she had given reas- enable satisfaction and we were parting from her with more or less regret. A good many things that we thought were going to happen In 1908 didn't happen and quite a number of things that we didn't expect at all were constantly occurring from day to day, such as presidential messages and alimony suits in the Gould family. But that sort of thing has been more or less common with most of her recent predecessors. So I guess nobody can kick.
 'It was a good year for divorce statis- ties night riding, liars (see Roosevelt s public utterances) campaign contributions and the Outlook Magazine, and a poor year for democrats, musical comedies, Kaiser Wilhelm and people formerly in the habit of carrying on correspond ence with MT. Archbold of No. 26 Broad way, this city. As regards the Taft fam ily things broke even on the whole, Will liam H. bringing home the goods in a neat bundle, but Charles P. being left with painful cavity in the bank roll and the nerve exposed, despite which the Ohio senatorship continues to remain some dis tance remote, and refuses to come whin- nying to the pasture bars, although fre- quently called to in a kind and winning tone of voice.
 Early in the spring several thousand persons started out with a certain sys- tenn for beating Wall street, and the frosts of autumn found some of them connected with the city dock department in the trimming branch at SIPS per day, while others were occupying points of vantage on the benches of our public squares and parks, and engaged in the culture of fringe on the pants. An un- precedentally large number of flying ma chimes were built and at least two of them flew, also an unprecedentally large number. Many improvements were noted in automobiles, but none in the chauffeurs. A new cocktail called the Fire and Flames Cocktail was invented, but conservative dressers remained faithful to the reliable tlUl Nlll dH OllNt III It,
 Tn accordance with the customs of the times the orange crop was totally de- stroyed by frost early in the spring, fol- lowed three weeks later by the total de- struction of the peach crop, thereby as- suring a full average yield of the produce of the first named, including orange blos- sons, orange phosphate and those sassy little orange wood stabbers that the man icure girls run down under your finger nail an inch or two to see if the quick is still there; while parties attending roof gardens reported that they never saw finer peaches. including both the pre- served kind and those fresh-peeled. AL falfa did well in New York, where Hughes won, but poorly in Indiana, where Kern lost.
 Finance rallied and commercial con- ditions showed an upward tendency. The Standard oil reported no serious business reverses and the J. Pierpont Morgans kept both hired girls right on through the summer, when others were cutting down their household expenses. The In- terstate Commerce Commission remained awake almost all of one afternoon in the latter part of June and then adjourned subject to the chairman's call, which is expected in 1913.
 Tn a literary way things are fairly active, but nothing exciting. MT. Rocke- feller wrote his business "reminiscences and MT Morse told his, under oath, both gentlemen reserving the option of hold ing back a few things from time to time MT. Morse got 15 years. President Roose- welt was induced to close a contact at one dollar a word for all words, while the published essays of John Quincy Adams were marked down on the second hand book stands to 10 cents per large bound duodeeimo volume, only slight ly used, thus showing one of the ad- vantages enjoyed in literary sense by live president over dead one"
 Twas a good year for sportin' events too," put in the House Detective.
 ''It was that. agreed the Hotel Clerk. Tn the domain of sport things were ex-