Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-01
curino the Fever.


Hey you nervous fits an watkins
In tn middle O. tn night?
It's tn April fever comm
With its springtime appetite!
It's tn blamedest kind o. sickness
Thet a Teller ever had,
IT amt no dif'rence who's yer Doctor
1t will git yew gist as bad.
1t is surer thing than babies
Er tn mortgage on tn farm,
An you've got { quit an tend it
Er tn thing'n do yew harm
You can't fight it down ner kill 1t;
Sassafras don't do no good.
All tn squills an sugared sulphur
In tn kingdom never would.
It's a case of go an dig it
Out behind tn barn er shed
And a scoOtin' L TIL river.
When tn sun is sinkin' red!
It's choice O. fish er fever
If you're sick go out an play
Where tn zephyrs sort o cool ye,
BY tn brooks glad roundelay.
Where tn buds is Dustin eager
And tn basque flower mods its blue.
You will find a bracin' tonic
Thatll put new life in you!
Breathe it in, b'gosh, an sniff It.
Fill yer lungs an run and shout.
It's elixir of the country,
And it knocks tn fever out!
Drugs ner nothin' else won't touch it
You have got t steal away
Where tn zephyrs sort o cool ye,
BY tn brooks glad roundelay!
900
Old Man Haskins.
Old man Haskins knew what was
the matter with his pretty daughter,
but Mrs. Haskins was not so penetra-
tive. At any rate, Florentia was "all
run down" and nervous. She screamed
when the cat jumped off the chair be-
hind her, was afraid of burglars and
moths and wept dolefully when the
Italian peanut peddler went by with
his shrill steam whistle.
1t was when Old Man Haskins paid
his gas bill that the light OF intelli-
gence penetrated his head convolu-
lions and put him next" as the
slang parlance is.
Then he recalled several little Incl
dents along about midnight and a. m.
that heretofore had merely disturbed
his rest. That was why Haskins
called on the young mans father i'm
mediately and, incidentally, that is
why after a solemn conclave, there
was much chuckling on the part of
two old cronies and a glass or two of
something old from the cob-webby re-
gion underneath the residence.
The young man was much surprised
next morning to receive a sudden sum-
mons from the head of the firm to
go to distant state for month.
There were tears and more nervous
ness up at Haskins' house that night,
but he went, at East, just as the chick
rise.
/ When he arrived a day later at
S and received among seven let
tiers from Florentia. one in a bold.
business-like hand, the cruel wretch
opened that first. This is what it
said:
My Dear Boy:
Il have just been wondering if young
people don't have it worse now than
they did when i was in my adolescent
age?
Anyhow, the gas bills seem to be
larger.
You will be absent a month, your
father tells me, during which time
hope to keep Florentia in bed most of
the time calculate she will be about
even if she snoozes twent-two hours
a day for thirty days!
During this time, also, l have ar
ranged to have your bed moved from
your fathers house to our house,
and will speak to the county clerk
about the license that he may know
when he sees you coming what it is
you want most on earth, and not sub
jugate you to embarrassment
LAS have no particular objection
to you as a son-in-law, and expect to
feather your nest slightly until you
have given evidence of desiring to
move to one of your own, l hope, in
| the future, that you will, out of re-
spect for me, be u little more careful
of the gas!
IF have to marry my daughter to
rescue her from being loved to death,
am your future and affectiorate
father-in-law,
JASPER HASKINS.
We'll, I'll De-, but the young
man didn't finish the sentence. On
the contrary he walked down to the
telegraph Office and wired Florentia:
Home on the midnight express.
Meet mel"
When Old Man Haskins saw the
telegram and noted the hour of arrival
he finished the aforesaid ejaculation
and then hurried down to the county
clerks office on important business.
900
Classified.
Irate Citizens. to Judge-"He called
ne a boiled lobster!"
Judge. cycling prisoner carefully
-I'l fine him $40. don't see anything
boiled about you!"
600
Miaht-HaVe-seen CONGREGATIONS.