The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1908-12-05
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n"-Birmingham Age-Herald.
Seems to ME you look younger than
ever" 'Why not? AS 1 grow older,
become more and more expert in avoid
ing trouble. life.
Nell-Maude has lost a good friend
in Jack. Belle-Why, have they quar-
relied? Nell--No, they are married.
Philadelphia Record.
a brunette, but 1 thought he married
blonde. The Joker-He did, but she
dyed.-Houston Post.
Gabbleby-After all, woman's
scream is her greatest weapon of de-
Tense. Observation-Disclosures how
did you find it ut?-Puck.
Mistress-Bridget, it always seems to
me that the crankiest mistresses get
the best cooks. Cook-Ah, 60 on wild
yer barney Flown Topics.
Ethel-Sometimes l really think Sc
riously Of remaining unmarried. Maud
Think only? Why, imagined you
worried about it. Town Topics.
"Why, my boy! did you fall in that
open coal holey' "No: Of course not.
I wuz in here, an they built pave
ment over me" --Illustrated Bits.
The Boy (fervently)-You are the
first and only girl l ever loved, Ethel.
She-Ah, what lots of fun you have
- 1-f T nv>Sr,
ion.
He-A fellow told me yesterday he
thought l was such a bright fellow.
She-That's an awfully bad habit. He
What is? She-Talking to yourself.
Life.
Hix-I always have DIR. Emdee
When my mother-in-law was at death S
door he pulled her through. Dix
Which way did he pull her?-St. Louis
Republic.
who's your ideal Of bravery"
queried the Old bachelor. as it Gen.
eral Kuroki?" NO" answered the
spinster, desperately. Its Mormon"
The Taller.
You never saw a man who under
stood women" 'Well, 1 knew man
once who claimed that he did" 'And
did he? "Well. he never married one. +"
Houston Post.
Nell-I don't suppose Mr. Sillicus
has any vices. Relle-Vices? Why, he
belongs to a glee club, an amateur the
atrical society, and writes poetry
Philadelphia Record.
Tonsorial Expert (cutting colored
mans hair)-'Rastus, your hair is just
like wool. Rastus- yoh didn't
spect to cut silk fo' fifteen cents, did
you?-Harper's Weekly
Jim regarding damage done to
church by fire)-GoOd job it wasn't a
factory. Bill. Bill-You're right, mate.
Only one man put out of work, and he
draws his money-Punch.
The Boss-What's that? Office Boy
Il says, you better send out and git
a half dozen boys to do my work to-
day; I'm going to be sick about three
Eyes; l am going abroad" "And
how are you going to arrange your itin-
erary?" ooh, pompadOur. l think
that will be most suitable for travel
ing."-Washington Herald.
d. Sambo-De doctor tells me dat ter
eat six watermiliiOns at one time would
sho' kill me- Rambo-An' what you
gwine do bout it? Sambo-I gwine ter
die game New York Tribune.
Suppose women should vote. What
would be the result?" ''Oh, 1 don't
know" answered Mr.. Sirius Barker
petulantly perhaps we'd have hand.
painted ballots. Washington Star.
Simkins-You say that little man
was formerly the lightweight cham.
pion? Timkins-Yes. Simkins-How
did he lose the title? Timkins-Oh, he
didn't lose it. He merely sold his gro
Gerry and retired.-Chicago Daily News
Customer (pointing to the hero
glyphics On his check)-Is that my
name in Chinese? Go Long (Chinese
laundryman)-No; 'scliption. Means
'li'l' ole man; cross-eyed; no teet'.'
Customer Er-thank you.-New York
Globe
Il suppose" said the facetious stran.
ger, watching workman spread car
pet from the church door to the curb
that's the high road to heaven you're
fixing there?" NO." replied the man
this is merely bridal ath."-Phila
delphia Press.
Professor Stone-To the geologist q
thousand years or so are not counted
as any time at all. Man in the Audi
ence-Great Scott! And to think
made temporary loan Of ten dollars
to man who holds such views =
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Mrs. Exe-Good-by. I'm sorry my
husband isn't in. I wish I knew some
way Of keeping him at home a little
more. Mrs. Wye-Let him buy a mo
tor car. Mrs. Exe-Why. he'd he ont