davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07

Irish viceroys are stripped Of
their sovereign attributes as soon as
they reach English waters, which
gives point TO the following story
told Of one viceroy and a lady with
whom he was acquainted They
both found themselves on board the
Holyhead packet. During the vOy-
.ge from ireland tie iady treated
the vicerOv with ceremoniOus re-
spect. - soon. however, as the
packet entered Holvheal harb0r she
said 10 him, Vow, Bobby, you're no
longer vicerov, so take nv bag and
make yolrself useful" - London
Truth
sne-Jusf imagine. supposfng yOr
were 50 immensely wealthy that yoI
couldn't possibly spend your income
What would yOu do?
He-MarTy y0u--New York Mail
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07

"siillions for the contractors, but
not one cent for the widows" is the
inscription on a coin, dated 1868,
which was received under peculiar
circumstances by George A. lee Of
this city a few days ago. The piece
is apparently of a restricted issue,
as none Of the many persons TO
whom il has been submi~ed for in
spection ever saw its Ike. 1t was
accompanied by q letter mailed from
Detroit and signed Howard Hen
zler, which informed the recipient
that the coin was given him as @
pocket piece twenty-five years ago
in Raleigh, ;. c., by the long since
deceased father Of Mr.. Lee. The
epistle concludes with the hope thai
~Ihe son Of nv benefactor Of long
years ago may enjoy the good for
tune that has been mine since Its
sccuisition. n."-Philadelphia Record
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07
A DREAM.

want to run for Office, and want to get wise
must have information from some Jasper guys
want to hold an Office an Office that will pay,
An Office where there is no work, but lots Of good
odpay
IN certain sap-head. that's had my share Of
SPOIL
am an honest LAWYER, and steerer, clear of toll.
an around the barrooms and pull the suckers in
ind when you 90 and look for me, I'm always in
SWIM
Oal must have an Office or | will have fit,
For am just so used to it, to suck the public tit
That it makes me kind O. nervous, to see these
good things slip.
Even though I'm not the man, | know that I'm
unfit.
I've had ten years of public life and am good and
fat,
But that has been so long ago, we cannot figure
that.
id it for the party, the party did for me,
50 you see, twas up to me- torake the healthy fee
Vow again I'm at the door, the same old door of
yoTe.
want to hold an office, often have before
am knocking, gently knocking, knocking till
So open up ourvoting pore, and stick for evermore
I've got good old record, I'll show you anynight,
Just come down to the corner, and | will put you
am peach at "schof-kop' not very much at law,
But can hand down a decision, ever through its
raw.
So flock to me good people and bring your friends
along,
And will open up the record and sing the same old
song.
The song of my ascension, the story of my life
How | fought and bled and died, and buried in the
SQEDUNK
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07
Raps Smart Set.
HaesO1 Laughs al The Mania Of The American Women For Bou:
European TITLES
THEY FAIL IN FOREIGN CONQUEST.

Col Henry Watterson, of Kentucky was asked Tuesday
why he said few days ago that New Workers are pro
he replied Il careful to restrict myself TO the
provincias of Fifth avenueperSons who won care to
90 to heaven unless they go in their automobiles
81 criticse New York as a New Yorker not a out
slider. have spent great deal Of time here. could
take Yorker down to where Fourth treet crosses
Tenth street and lose him. remember when there were
no shops above Union Square The square had railing
about then to which persons used to hitch their horses
Il do not crticse the body of New Workers. like you and
me- who do something. refer to the idle rich
and the new rich, who know Europe better than their
own country who buy titles for their daughters and spend
from Sl00 900 500 900 year to get into titled society
This very love of titles shows the New Workers. pro-
vncialsm title nothing without an estate. French
titles are not recognized by the government.
MANY of the socaled bearers of ancient French names
known to be descendants of Wallets and butchers who
took the of mobiles who pershed IN the reign OF
terror. What an American girl expect but unhap-
pness when she maes man who come over here to sell
a title he knows is bogus?
mot as rule Colonel Watterson replied Though |
know of twohat of Princess Hazfed and OF the coun-
tess of Oxford who was Louise Cor5lnthat would call
ideal marriages. Many American girls marry Englshmen
'Many Of the millionaire families of New York are in
the third generation Colonel Watterson reverted and
strangely enough they have not improved The original
Cornelius Vanderbilt and old William B, Astor were
very fine men,
IL took occasion to salt down the whole herd of New
York milliOnareS when young Remington whose 1atheT
was my friend committed suicide in Newport when old
Van Alien wouldn't let his daughter marry him.
Some time later met one of Mrs. Astors grand
daughters whom rad not seen for some time As was
leaving asked her to present my respectful homage to
Mrs Astor whom had known, adding that she probably
wouldn't remember me.
Il should say she does remember youl was the reply.
She done nothing but abuse you for three months
'he great mass of what have called the provincals
of Fifth avenue continued the colonel answering another
Question never attain the titled society they covet They
are never invited to the duca houses IN England You
NAV meet world famous man like Andrew Carnegie
there and any friends whom Mr. Carnegie might introduce
would be made welcome, but the most the horde can buy
with their millions is admission to the London fast set
which has some good names but whose members all go
ha
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07
The Manicure Lady.
Tells How Poets Like to Break Loving
Hearts.
Hearts.

Ibid YOU get that in the Sunday papers?" inquired the
Manicure Lady " about the young fellow that wrote
them poems his sweetheart and then went and pawned
a diamond brooch that belonged to herr
Il caught it. replied the Head Barber, My wife showed
it to first. She read all the poetry and read the rest
Brother Wilfred read the poetry to us out loud said
the Manicure Lady. 'Wfred fine poetry reader. tie
makes it sound like he wrote it himself In the said parts
he lets his voice fall also after periods and in the parts
about happiness and JOY he talks good and loud like an
actor"
their affinities," declared the Head Barber i amt no
literary guy no way you take All the books have
nome is Alone in Painfed, and FoXs Lives OF the
Heavyweghts
But lust the same figure that I'm pretty fair Judge
and some of that stuff your friend wrote to the married
lady would be left the post in any companyt started IN
When through this sad, sad world roam, love you FOL
Yourself alone he: That amt even good not AIR.
That's lust what brother Wfred saying chirped
tie Manicure Lady Wilfred reading all the lines
US as was just saying and he says to ma and May
and me, Well what do you think OF womans falling Tor
tlat?
You know since Wilfred nailed that job writing verse
ads for Sandersons Sandpaper Soap he's getting KIND OF
cocy about his talent He fixed some OF the verses
and made them kind of sarcastic.
That's thing will have tc give Witred, ne amt no
soft mark for love affairs and mostly sldestep ladies with
homes and families He's too long in the league. he says
whatever that means Anyhow ne fixed over that verse
you was mentioning like this
MY darling Nav, my darling May,
love you more each passing day.
While here in old New York roam
love you for yourself alone;
When to some other burg | moOch.
ii love you for your diamond Dr00cn
The Head Barber smiled In frank approval lnats q
Whltehaired kid that brother of yours, he declared
think he shows many flash of form. Ill bet ne wodldn
write anything very mushy if he fell in love.
Wait till tell you, said the Manicure Lady inats
the funny part After Wilfred got all through kidding
this poor fellows poetry fishes out three or four scraps
OF paper found in of Wreds books They was all
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07
A s.arehina Hint.

When starching toilet covers or
anything which has fringe trim
mings double the cover into four,
and, gathering the fringe tightly
into the hand, hold it firmly while
YOU dip the Middle Of the cover
into tie starch. When dry shake
the fringe well, comb carefully with
a large toilet comb, and it will fall
as soft and prettily a. when new.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07

Bran water baths are good for
uoTstcd and cotton embroideries.
They should be made by adding a
Gaart Of fresh bran to three quarts
cf watc-. Boil this for half an hour,
strain and then pour into a couple
OF Sowls. add cold water until it il
lukcWarm. put in the embroidery
and rub TIL clean. rinse in clean
water and then place in the second
basin Of bran water, drying the ar
ticle a. quickly as possible Always
iron on the wrong side.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07

poems written by him to a widow that he awful
smten with about three years ago. Say, George, you
should Of seen his face when read this:
Matilda, sweet Matilda Blotz,
cannot tell how much adore thee, Though ! have
roamed in many strange foregen spots.
have never loved anybody before thee If you will
with love make my soul shine Your patient Wifred may
yet be all thinew
THAT wasn't any too classy" admitted the Head
Barber 81 wonder why fellow writes such fierce dope
when he is writing about his own love.
81 dunno, mused the Manicure Lady. Il spose nobody
but great poets keep their heads when they get per-
sona and the greater the poets the they like to
break our loving hearts"
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07

..or ink spots on leather chairs
try washing the spots with milk, re
newing the milk un,l it is no longer
stained and the spot oa the leather
has disappeared. Then wash with
warm water, and when dr. polish
With boiled linseca oil and vinegar
mixed in ec--l proportions. Al ink
stain should lie removed as soon cs
possible after il Is made.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07

"Your friend D'Auber Is an artist
isn't hcT
YES, that fellow can draw any
thing
Indeed. have heard It said that he
hasn't drawn sober breath for
years Philadelphia Press.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07
Fake Antiques

People are buying English an
tioues from taste or as investments,
and as they do not part with them
the supply Is becoming shorter and
shorter. A result i that the coun-
trv Is full Of limitations. The '-an-
tiGues~ to be found IN country shops
are free uentlv bogus We are flood.
ed with copies Of antique furniture
and enEravings. There are shop
auctions in London Of whole stocks
OF bogus engravings, silver boxes
Battersca enamels. miniatures and
the like--London Spectator.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07
In Case Of Burns.

Keep a bottle Of linseed oil and
lireSster, together with a roll OF
absorbent cotton and pieces and
STRIPS OF old lines for bandages, al
IN con7ensent place to use in case
sf burns.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07
Sage Tea For the Hair.

For sage tea take two ounces Of
the newest dried garden sage and
two ounces of green tea Put in an
iron pot (be sure that YOU use an
iron one) and add three quarts OF
boiling water Let simmer slowly
until only tEo quarts are left. Re
move and let stand for twenty-four
hours. Then strain and put into
bottles. Apply to the scalp every
morning and night, massaging gen.
tly for FIVE minutes. This is splen-
Gid tonic for the hair as well as dis
tinctly a stain for restoring iron
gray hair.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07

The more the better element in the
Democratic party considers the matter
of who is to be the next judge the
more important it seems that Judge
Elv should be nominated. There IS no
question but that his defeat would be a
long step backward in the matter of re-
form. The moral tone in this co unity
is far better than it has ever been and
this is patent to every one and is due
solely to the strict enforcement OF the
law under the present Judge.
Taken from the Petersburg Press.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07
4 Tight saueeze.

BrorehO Bob hear Dead Eye Pete
has been. huE-ed TO death by a fe-
male grizzly
Hurricane BIIl-weli. that's just ike
Pete. lie never could stand being
tngsed By a female.-Chips
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07
Division Of Labor.

Excuse me. ny good man, but S-e
you sure you know the difference be.
tween edible mushrooms and poison
Dus oncSf'
-Oh. that's nothing to me! I don't
rat 'em; sell 'emT-Souxtxo.
The Jasper weekly courier. [volume] (Jasper, Ind.) 1858-1922, 1908-02-07

Young Wife CVyho has cooked the din
ner for tie first tiI-ei -Whatever will
my husband say when be Eces that
have quite spoiled the joint: Co.ac,
Anna. we will toss who shall take it in
to FIiegende Batter.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

We are opening up with a
complete stock Of the FAM
GUS SherwIn-W llllams Paints
and varnlShes. This brand
has a worldwide reputation
for good quality. Gcc.I
quality also means eccnor1,7
lin painting. and SherwiE !.
| Williams Paints will Sas g
you money as we'll as &l1 9
you the best satisfaction IN
appearance and wear. If
you need anything In this.
line, we will be glad to show
you color cards and quote
prices. For sale only at r.
kewtOn's Lumber and Coal.
J office. d 1920
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
Still a few more Of those
dill pickles for Is cents per
gallon. SOren Brown.

Adrian M. Newens has sever
ed his connection with the col
lege at Ames and will be critic
for the Ridpath Lyceum Bur
eau. His general headquarters
will be in Chicago, with branch
offices at Boston and Philadel-
phia. 1t is reported that his
salary will be $4,000 for ten
months Of service. He will
continue to make Ames his
home.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
The members of the Easter

The members of the Eastern
Star will give a banquet in
their hall Friday evening, Feb.
81, to all Masons and their la
dies, belonging in this city, and
cordially invite all visiting
members. All members of the
%. 3. S. are invited to invite
their husbands, if not a mem
Der, or their wife if she is not a
member. Young ladies are
privilege to invite a friend.
Every member is invited with
out further notice. Friday
evening, Feb. q.
Committee.
Postcards and Postcard
Albums in endless variety at
j. D. Brown & Son. 318 Erie
street.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

Plenty of things doing in the
Valley the next few evenings.
Tomorrow night the Eastern
Star Banquet and Club dance.
Saturday evening the Flremen's
Ball and next Tuesday evening,
the banquet by the Commercial
Club. About It's invitations
have been sent out for the
Commercial Club banquet and
the affair promises to be one of
great interest to the CONNER
cial and business of the town.
We trust the good work started
i'm this way will be productive
of good to all concerned.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

A. G. Brown, of Omaha, was
a short caller today. He is on
the road in the flour trade for
the Updike Company, in
Western Iowa and Eastern Me-
braslla, and always feels at
home in Mo. Valley.
Now is the time to use
Hyomei and be cured of
catarrh. Fresh supply just re-
ceived. Costs nothing unless
it cures, is the way we sell it.
flS-2O Robt. w. Harvey.
Sale of Duroc Jersey Bred
SOwS
O. S. Larson will hold a dig
sale of Duroc Jersey bred sows
at his farm seven miles west of
Persia, Iowa, and nine miles
southeast of Logan, at 1 o'clock
p. M, Tuesday, Feb. 25th, 'OS.
Some of the best brood sows
ever offered in the county will
be offered at this sale.
0. o. Larson, Prop.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

Harry Boies received a hun
dred postal cards this morning
from Hon. Geo. A. Kellogg, who
is visiting in California. The
cards are pictures of the scenes
he has visited and "people he
has met in California.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

Look over your foot wearing
apparel for yourself and child
rem and see if you need a pair
of the famous Queen Quality or
Boston Favorite shoes for ladies
or a pair of Kemprer-Scott
shoes for children. All kinds
of ruhbers on sale now. Henry
Dickman.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

Your attractivcness as a
wife and a homekeeper de-
ponds a good deal upon the
state of your temper. Many
an otherwise happy occasion
has been spoiled because the
grocer did not send your things
when he promised and when
they finally did come they
were not of the quality you
expected, Be wise and change
your grocer. High quality
and prompt delivery are all
ways found by dealing with MS.
w. c. Fensler
GrOCeryman
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

The "Old Way" and the"New
way" using "Bell Snow Flake
is the right way. II. L. Car
penter.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
Homesteader's Notice.

There will be a meeting of
Importance next Thursday
evening, ard # is requested
that every ~,c~ b be present.
Secretary.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

All Magazines and Fashion
Journals ON our news stand.
Headquarters for everything
printed. j. d. Brown &Son.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

Have you tried our "White
Pine and Tar" for your cough?
II you don't say its the best
you ever tried get your money
back. Is and SOC. 4. D. Brown
& Son. 3lS Erie st. If
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

Mrs. Clint Norris is reported
as about the same today.
About twenty OF the Knights
of Pythias of this city go to
Denlap this evening to attend
tae annual banquet of the
brethren in that city.
Geo. Bracken and family, of
Laramie, Wyoming, are in the
Valley the guests Of friends.
O. 3. Evens, the liveryman,
is in South Omaha today at
tending a big horse sale.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
Money at 5 Per Cent

Money at 5 Per Cent
l have 100000 to loan on
good real estate at 5 per cent.
See me when You want to
make a loan.
W. j. Roden,
mis- Missouri Valley la.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
Look Here

The Baptist ladies will serve
a chicken pie dinner February
22nd, in the McGavren build
ing, first door west of the PEG
pies Store, also an oyster sup
per in the evening. YOU are
cordially invited to attend and
bring your friends and patron
ne the Little Church on the.I
Corner" Proceeds to be used
for the improvement of the
church property. 1872
Bradley & Co., have a lot
Of eyefCcats and suits they
are Csesins cut for f-S
price. Get one.
John Dingman is in the Val
ley shaking, hands with friends
today. He is the young man
who was so seriously injured at
Blair last fall, while working
for the Northwestern.
Program at Gem Theatre
Friday and Saturday, Feb. 81
and %, w. R. G. benefit:
/ Cavalry School at Tore De-
'Quinto; Difficult Arrestation,
The Christmas Goose, Happy
| Bob as Boxer, In the Hands Of
the Enemy, Ais we'll that
Ends we'll, and illustrated
songs. Matinee Saturday 2::30
p. m. Ali Baba Monday night,
Feb. "a.
all undsrwea: and wool
SHIRTS at cost while this sale
lasts.
! Ed D. Bradley 6 c..
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

The Ladies of the Baptist
church will give a chicken lie
dinner on s. turday, February
22nd.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
To Sell or Lease or Trade

To the right man a good
work mill with saws, palmer,
turning lathes for both wood
and iron. See f. Newton at
lumber gard. f-2O
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
Will Swanson is in the Valley
today the guest of friends.

Mrs. Cora Ferry, of the
Times force, received a letter
today conveying the sad news
of the death of her sister, Mrs.
LePaul DUNCAN, who died at
Oakland, February 10th, burial
taking place there on the 18th
inst. Mrs. DUNCAN was also a
sister of Mrs. Henry Spires and
has often visited in this COM
munity.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
To the Members and Other
Supporters Of the Presby=
terrain Church

AS Sunday February 23rd,
is the last Sunday of the first
6 months of the church year,
statements will be sent to
everyone, showing how they
stand on the church books.
The Board of Trustees.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

During the month of Febru-
airy all suits will be made by
me at from So to SIS reduction.
Good work guaranteed. Jen-
sen the Tailor. MI
G. S. Green was an Omaha
passenger this morning.
George Osborne was a bust
ness passenger to Omaha this
morning.
Seth Dean went down to
Council Bluffs this morning to
attend a meeting of the board
of supervisors of Pottawattamie
county, From there he will go
to Glenwood to attend the an
nual banquet of the Masons on
Friday evening of this week.
The firemen are making
great arrangements for their
annual ball February 22nd.
Supervisor Hosbrook we MT
down to Council Bluffs this
morning on business.
The local section forman had
fifteen or sixteen extra men
shoveling snow in the railroad
yards Yesterday and the day
before This storm gave work
to q - 2 few men around town
who 'sa~r !, en- out of work.
A fla, assortment Of percales
and ginghanas. Those wanting
to do early spring sewing can
| find them on sale at Dickman's
store.
Green's Orchestra is expect
| e I to play at the Gem Theatre
this evening.
The Ladies of the Baptist
church will give a chicken lie
dinner on s. turday, February
I22nd.
Clarence Stevens left for
Grand Rapids. Wisconsin, last
Mig called there by 81 te]e-
gram announcing the death OF
4 his mother at that place, yes
/ terday morning.
Mr.. w. FL. Campbell is in
Omaha today visiting Charles
Sargent.
250 pair mems pants to
close cut at Is per cent
discount, good patterns.
stylish cut.
Ed D. Bradley 6 Co
r. C. Hills left for Chicago
yesterday evening on railroad
business, called there by the
company.
To the Members and Other
Supporters Of the Presby=
terrain Church
AS Sunday February 23rd,
is the last Sunday of the first
6 months of the church year,
statements will be sent to
everyone, showing how they
stand on the church books.
The Board of Trustees.
George Warns, of Hastings
Nebraska, was a pleasant caller
today. He is now engaged in
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

A ia, assortment Of percales
and ginghanas. Those wanting
to do early spring sewing can
| find them on sale at Dickman's
store.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
Postcffiee Hours Saturday

The postoffice hours Saturday
ON account of Washingtons
birthday, will be from o to II
a. M, regular holiday hours
No rural route deliveries. D.
j. Album, y. 10.
Mr. 8. j. Chapman went te
Loga .tst evening to visit Mrs
Aim form, who is quite sicl
at hc / ONE.