Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-01-03

BRENTWOOD
BYuUE F. VERNON.

NNA/nlZAAAM AlaMM k/EAZ
The Sanger, of Hoquiam, refers to
the HOquiam Washingtonian as the
RoStatOnian."
An old saw says: Promises are
made to be broken" So are New
Years resolutions.
You can commence work now to
pay for the holiday presents you
purchased on" tick.
"A Happy New Year" to all the
readers of the STANDARD; hoping
that you spent Merry Christmas.
Wives and daughters all remind us
We must make our little pile,
And, departing. leave behind us
Cash for them to live in style.
AS Santa Claus has gone home for
another year, the big papers can give
us more Dorothy Dix and Ella
Wheeler Wilcox illusions.
Santa Claus ought to be thankful.
He did not have to descend the
chimney of that much advertised "a
story building in Tacoma.
What a pity it is that girls are
not naturally inclined to work as
hard to get a $50 situation as they
work to capture a $50 man.
A gentleman Is one who, having
asked you il you will have a little
whisky, leaves you to help yourself,
and takes look out of the window.
She smiles and laughs the live-long day,
Pray, do not think her simple!
She'll laugh at anything you say
Because she has dimple.
No ship ever entered the harbor of
Olympia that was large enough to
stow away the cargo OF resolutions
which will be broken soon in Olym-
pla.
What Sammy" Perkins of Ia
coma did not get for a Christmas
present-a double-column, speckled
editorial roast from the Seattle
Times.
Quiet Man Gas o particularly
steep" story of adventure comes to
close, in an Olympia saloon): Err
|-bartender, will You hand me the
salt, pleased"
The only time some folks give o
meal to poor. hungry man, is on
Christmas day. then it pulls so heav-
lily on their pocket-book, that they
tell the incident to every one they
meet.
Some peoples ideas of Christmas
charity is to give some poor fellow a
25-cent coin, and then say they gave
the penniless man two dollars and
fifty cents. I have known such in.
stances here in Olympia.
Poor father worked so hard before
the holidays that he Is entitled to O
rest. He now can commence digging
in, so to speak, and help pay for the
Christmas presents the folks pur-
chased on credit. Father needs rest,
you know.
Mark Twain tells q story OF man
who received telegram telling him
that his mother-in-law had died, and
asking: Shall we embalm, bury or
cremate her?" Twain says he wired
back: Yes, and il these fail, try
dissection"
All the talk one hears about the
self-made man" makes me sick.
There never was but one self-made
man in the United States, and that
one was the much-in public print"
in Washington, d. c., newspapera-
DR., Mary Walker.
! ! despise those carping critics
and pessimists in the world who see
little good in anything but them
selves, and who gaze ON their sur
] roundings with naughty or assumed
superiority. There are q number of
these fellows In Olympia.
Christmas and New Years day
saw Tom and Jerry frequently, but
never met Dick or Harry once. Dick
and Harry took no chances, perhaps,
with eggs that were sick. OF course
don't know if this be true or not,
of them. / only surmise.
If one c. IN" Moore, of Port.
land, should write to the editor OF
the STANDARD and say he sold four
bars of soap to customer, the day
before Christmas, which was to act
as a Christmas present, l wouldn't
believe him. Would you?
| l am willing to take a certain
amount of stock phrased in news
paper ACCOUNTS of storms and so on,
but when a New York paper tells
about zephyr carrying a bed quilt
sixty-one miles and then going bark
for the sheet, I'm not there.
1t was the apostle Peter who used
the term filthy lucre" and he had
never seen any of the tattered, torn
and grimy bills that pass for money
in Olympia. There is no doubt in
the minds of physicians that con-
tagious diseases may DO transmitted
through the agency of soiled certifi-
Gates. Clean, crisp notes would
naturally be less dangerous. The
government and the banks should
unite in the effort to withdraw from
circulation worn, torn and soiled
bills, even to the extent of not issu-
ing any bill q second time.