davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

we'll be imagined, there were times when
the situation was ticklish.
! Finally, at one point. the vessel was
creeping along. just nosing her way. Mr.
Messenger volunteered his services and
they We're accepted. He made the rest of
the trip in the pilothouse. coming the
big steamer along in great shape. much
to the astonishment of his friends. who
didn't know that he used to make his liv-
ing at the wheel.
'Shucks." he said. when somebody con-
graduated him on his feat. THAT was
nothing; / used to be a pilot on the Mis-
sssippi. where the channel bed changes
three times every twenty-four hours. This
was regular snap"
IN. 0. NJ is also an expert stenog-
pher an accountant, a bookkeeper and
the best political writer between Pater-
son. n. j., and Olongapo. P. l.
Talking about versatility. Whew! In
cidentally it would be we'll to watch for
his political letters
Tries a New Stunt.
A bit ago I remarked that 1 had never
written a play. ! am going to remedy
that right now. Charles Frohman and
Richard earle please note.
Last Saturday evening party of about
forty Congressman and newspaper men.
number of whom are members of that
famous organization. The jamestown
Survivors, made a trip to Norfolk by
boat, up the River James by another
boat. around Richmond by automobile
and back to Washington by train. This
should be sufficiently descriptive.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

Have the celebrated mountain climbers
quit climbing. or have the crevasses all
been filled up with the remains o. cele-
brated mountain climbers whove lost
their lives in the previous years?
by the way. the obsequies of the nine
shad fishermen on the Susquehanna river
who always get hold of eight gallons of
wood alcohol instead of grain alcohol by
mistake and drink it at this season Of
the year have already occurred but the
war cloud over the Balkans isn't johnny
on-the-Spot this spring. as usual. Tae
Minnesota cloudburSts seem to be SOL
diering some on their jobs. too. consider
ing the season. and it's about time for
one or two of EN- anyhow TO get lively
and sweep down the valley at the almost
incredible velocity OF 1925 miles a min
ute. Already. however and a bit cary.
at that. several excursion trolleys have
declined TO concede the right of way 10
through freight trains at railroad cross
ings, and so / won't have to keep such
careful tab on the excursion trolleys"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

the revenues of the postal service.
Grouchy editors may read their morning
mail without any correspondence inter-
ruptions from him. He is too busy sup
porting wife and family and indorsing
the Roosevetian theory to trit1e with belle
lettres. whatever that may mean. And
finally. one day. in turning over the con-
tents of the family trunk in search of a
Canadian quarter that he thinks ne lost
two or three years previously. he comes
upon the play or book that circumnav-
igated the globe during his apprenticeship
And he picks ii up and rifles the type
written pages and cnuckles an ornate
ehuckle.
Holy Smoke and also Suffering Cats"
he says. lis ii possible that l ever stabbed
an inoffenSive and helpless typewriter and
wasted a thousand dollars worth of per-
fectly good time grinding out lachrymose
drivel like this?' And he hops down
stairs. and uses that climaxial literary eff
fort in the production of sufficient num-
Der of heat units to fry the family HAM
burger.
For our hero is now the star man of the
Daily Snort. receives the top salary of
So. so week, every week. dresses like
Ward McAllister. knows everybody worth
knowing in the forty-flve states, has de-
veloped his expensive tastes into ha bits.
holds his job by the faculty of making
good all over again every twenty-four
hours. realizes there is no crime upon the
structural unity of the English language
that cannot be committed in any news
paper. and can proudly remark, oblvious
of his earlier. self-conferred titles of
Journalist" and correspondence
without anybody either lifting an eye
brow or sneering-'I am reporter"
Small Talk of Gratitude.
There's nothing like gratitude. 1t shines
as brightly midst the jeweled orders of
king as from the grimy patchwork of a.
pauper's rags. Every time I find graft
tude lying around in public I break off a
chunk and take 1t home for a souvenir
My collection isn't very extensive yet, but
l have hopes.
Last week there was a pleasant compli-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

this side to ask us to pul-lease come over
and they'll be much nicer and more rea-
sonahle and things than they ever have
been before. So that. after all, crimpish
times or even the name of being plunged
in crimrish times, hath its Conversations
1t really looks as If this will be the sum
mer when thousands of folks who have
been looking forward to the European
jog for a lon: time will be able TO make
il.
Simultaneously, the very best New York
hotels are very frankly making the an
nouncenlent that they are going to re-
duce their rates for the approaching sum-
mer The New York bonifaees have thei-
ears to the ground right along. and they
have become distressfully aware of the
certainty that unless they make some
sort of reaching-out efforts, New York
is not to be visited by half as many west
ern and southern folk this summer as
usual. The height of the summer season.
it should be known. is the season chosen
by southerners and westerners to invade
this town. and from the middle of July
until about the first of September. as
general thing, you'll meet more strangers
in Broadway than natives. But the sign
is on II that this is not to he the case
this summer, else why should most OF
the great hotels take particular pains TO
give out the announcement that they're
going to make summer rates this year
something they never dreamed of doing
before
The simple matter of fact is that. not
withstanding the almost colossal invasion
of New York by visitors at particular
seasons of the year. it nevertheless has
more first-rate hotels than it can get
guests for This fact couldn't be better
illustrated than by the knowledge. which
is possessed by many folks around here.
that several of the comparatively new
and ornate 9Th avenue hotels already are
showing distress signals on account OF
-ly,1, ND a la0 ttxrn Of f11n,,
are ready, it is said, to go into the hands
of receivers.
Moderate Hotel Prices.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

n my way down town the
W other morning came upon
some queer hieroglyphic
chalk markings on the
smooth fiagstones of a side
walk bordering a park" observed a man
who notices little things. Il stopped to
examine them. and when unraveled their
meaning a lot of forgotten things came
trooping back to me. The chalk mark
ings on the f1agstones were made the
evening before by some children who had
been playing hopscotch. Remember hop
scotch? / am afraid that too many of us
grown-up sinners have a more vivid
knowledge of hot scotch than we have
recoilections Of hopscotch; but, of course,
all Of us grown-ups played hopscotch one
way or another when we were young 'uns
This chart looked different, though, from
the hopscotch charts we used to make,
and ! had to study for some time before
l could recall just what the difference
was. The various compartments of the
hopscotch diagram when I was a shaver
used to be simply numbered. but now the
compartments are all digniied by geo
graphical names, as of states and king
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

summer visitors. and when the fact be-
comes patent that the summer visitors
aren't going to run In their former
shoals this year 1t is not difficult to I'M
derstand why some of the leading hotels
of New York are letting 1t be known that
summer visitors this year will be able
to get the bulliest imaginable room with
fine bath at so moderate a figure as
$3.50 to $3.50 day. So this ought to be
a pretty good sea son for the folks who
haven't vet done 1T to see the white lights
and the roof gardens and the winking
electric champagne signs and the illumi-
mated corset proclamations and so on.
Oh, and there are lots and lots of other
pleasant things happening over this way
just about now.
The collapse of the servants trust. for
example Have you heard about that?
Why. you can, honest Injun, get serv-
ant for your apartment now who will not
flout you if you complain of the coffee
and tell you that If you don't like it you
can lump il and intimate that you're a
short sport anyhow. and all like that
Yes. indeed. And you can get her for a
figure entirely within the bounds of rea-
SON Why, are you aware of the fact that
at this time last year the monthly wage
of just plain or garden variety of fiat serv-
ant-one who wasn't anything especial On
cooking and who did everything just
about as she pleased and got away with
twas from s25 to $35 month? 1t sure
ly was.
But now!
Well. there's a new form of amusement
over here now. 1t is participated In by
New Workers who for many years have
been compelled. If they didn't want to do
their own work. to PROSTATE themselves
before impudent. slovenly, no-account.
ligh-priced servants.
Collapse of Servant Trust.
The amusement consists in going TO the
large employment agencies of New. York
and watching the hundreds of out-of
work servants besieging the doors. beg
ging and imploring the employment
agency folks to get them jobs-any old
kind Of jobs, SO long as they are jobs with
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23
MEMBER SURVIVOR tsurprised,-Do

MEMBER-SUR VIEOR (surprised)-Do
what?
MEMBER-Throw your handkerchief
out of the window
MEMBER SURNIVOR-I didn't.
MEMBER-You did,
MEMBER SURNINOR-well. I have
another one. l, wasn't your handker-
chief anyhow.
MEMBER (offended)-I'll leave you
You're not in a very polite mood this
morning.
MEMBER SURVIVOR deliberately
courteous>-Don't let me keep you
Member departs and Member Survivor
takes out cigar case and match box. lights
cigar. puts il in his pocket. and tries TO
put match box in his mouth When he
finally. straightens things out he puffs
the cigar twice and throws that out OF
window.
MEMBER SURVINOR-Oof -,
Enter Newspaperman tsurvivor) walk
ing slowly and dragging his feet
NEWSPAPER MANOR, Bill.
MEMBER SCRNINOR-Oh, Jim, (They
clutch and weep into each others back
hairD
NEWSPAPER MAN-How do you feelo
MEMBER SURVIVOR-Fierce. How
about YOU?
NEWSPAPER MAN-Worse
MEMBER-sURvINoR-It must have
been the grapes. They do say as how
they're very indgestibfe.
NEWSPAPER MAN-Tm certain It was
the grapes. Or the bubbles. Bubbles are
very bad for one. They have soap In
them. Conversation languishes.) Final
~ Mem Survivor seems to get an
idea. His face lights up. his eyes shine
and he leans over and whispers in news
paper mans ear.
NEWSPAPER MAN (brightening up in
turn)-You bet 1 will Itll do us both
good. Exit.
All About a Button.
The dark, impenetrable mystery that
surrounded the Courts foreign order
button has been solved. Mr.. Courts
called Sir John by those that love him
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

very largely SO in the Ma
tional capital.
Adversion is here had to the habit
some males have-many males-of tell
!. ing erring ones of their (the erring
Z ones) sins and -foolishness of the,pre-
{. vious night.
5 This is like going to a condemned cell
and telling the murderer awaiting the
gallows that he is a murderer. And it
is just about as piffling and ornery, so
to- speak
. The case we have in mind is this:
A Washington man who rarely per-
mits himself to become etherized by the
fumes of rickeys and things so per-
s mitted himself one night last week.
: On the following morning he felt
: pretty keenly about the same being
person of consciousness and ordi-
narily circumspect behavior.
So, when he started down town for
the Office that morning. he possessed a
sort o sheepish feeling, and dreaded to
meet the fellers, apprehending that they
would be liable to tell him many things.
His apprehension was correct
They did tell him many things.
"Oho"' gloated the first one of the fell
lers he met, but l s'pose maybe you
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

HE man with the Vuelta Abajo
smoke, made in Baltimore was
sizing up the manifestations OF
the season.
WELL" said he. reflectively,
Its pretty nigh time now for the brainy
but clippish young man who rocks the
beat and precipitates four of the most
beautiful and highly respected young la
dies in the community to watery graves,
but manages to save himself, to begin
operations. Every day now I'm watching
out in the papers for boat rocker No. 1.
Maybe I'm a little ahead of time in look
ing out for him. but last year the first of
him showed up in the newspapers as early
as April 3. if I remember correctly. May,
according TO the spring and summer dope
charts that I've been keeping for many
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23
oO4 81
Scene, the Same.

Enter. Member of Congress SURVIVOR
and Member of Congress mot SURVIVOR
MEMBER SURVIVOR walks to win.
dow, opens it and looks out on SUNNI
Capitol lawn)-Oof! !!
MEMBER-Did you speak?
MEMBER-SURV1NO when!
MEMBER-Just now.
MEMBER SURVIVOR GnakinS violent
mental efforD-I don't remember. carter
long silence). l believe l did; but dlon
say anything.
MEMBER-You don't look well this
morning: what's the matter?
MEMBER SURVIVOR indignantly
Nothing! That is. this climate noe ,s,a :,
agree with me. I always feel this way
when 1t rains down here.
MEMBER-It isn't raining this morn
ing.
MEMBER SURvIvOR-Oh! 1t seemed
to me that it was. (Takes out hanokeI
chief. wipes his brow and throws haho-
kerchief out of window.
MEMBER-What the devil did you do
that for?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23
GOSH!!!!!
A Gloom in Two Grunts.
HEa st -

A MEMBER OF CONGRESS (who is
also jamestown SURVIVOR
A MEMBER OF CONGRESS mot a
SURVIVOR.
A NEWSPAPER MAN Ga SURVIVOR.
Employees of the House, Capitol police.
visitors. constituents, etc.
SCENE: Corridor of the House OF Rep
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23
Diamonds Are Poor Collateral.

He discovered that he could get only
one-half the amount on his STUFF thar
he was able to get on it last year. He
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

resentattyes on a bright and sunny Sun
day morning.
TIME: Present.
Act l.
Enter two employees of the House. chat-
ting:
FIRST EMPLOYE-Smatter with ever
body this morning? Had my head snap
ped off three times already. Everybody S
got a crouch.
SECOND EMPLOYE-Yep; must have
been something doing over Sunday.
FIRST EMPLOYE-Certain sure NJ!
members been writing checks ever since
he got up here Asked him, In 1un' II
he'd been having any financial oeals on
the Sabbath.
SECOND EMPLOYE-What did he say !.
FIRST EMPLOYE-Im ashamed TO ten
you.
They depart, chatting.
Curtain.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

n AYBE this is not any more SO
M in Washington than any
where else, but it certainly is
very largely SO in the Ma
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23
Moderate Hotel Prices.

The hotels place great financial reliance |
upon the large play they get from the |
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23
All About a Button

The dark, impenetrable mystery tina
surrounded the Courts foreign orde
button has been solved. Mr.. Courts
called Sir John by those that love hin
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-17
ORDINANCE NO. 1856.

An ordinance granting to the Cen
trail Union Telephone Company, its
successors and assigns, the right 10
erect. use and maintain telephone
poles, wires and other telephone APP
paratus in the city of Cairo. Illinois.
Be it ordained by the city coun-
ell of the city of Cairo:
Section /. That the right be and
the same is hereby granted to the Cen
trail Union Telephone Company, It's
successors and assigns, to erect, use
and maintain upon the streets, ave
nues. alleys and public highways Of
said city, such poles, wires. fixtures
and other apparatus as may be neces-
sary and convenient for supplying the
citizens of Cairo and the public with
telephone service or means OF com
munieation by telephone or other i'm
proved electrical devices, such use to
be and continue upon the terms anil
conditions herein stated.
Section .. The location Ct the
poles and lines shall be made under
the direction and subject to the APP
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-17
BEARS SOLD FAST
And Offered Prices Down in Stocks
to Take Market From Those
Trying to Realize.

New York, March 1G.-~The profess
siopal element in the stock market
was alert for indications of reaction
in prices today. They based their
opinion fthe market on the extent to
which the rise had already run, an in
ducement to holders on this account
to sell and realize profits, and admit
ted the narrow participation attracted
into the speculation fro mthe outside
public. Revelations of a wavering Of
confidence ON the part of leaders of
the advancing movement confirmed
the confidence of bears in working for
a reaction. They sold with increasing
aggresiveness and offered prices
down to take the market away from
those attempting to realize. New de-
Velopments had little reflection in the
market. Some Influence was added to
the side of reaction by news of the
United State supreme courts decision
in the Armour Packing house case.
Confirmation of the powers for con
troll of railroads rates granted by the
Elkins law was felt to be of serious
import to railroad companies. The
excess value of our February exports
reached $8S,S43361, compared with
$36.500 600 in the same month last
year but the falling off of nearly S44,-
100000 in the value of our imports is
vital factor in this showing and is
conclusive testimony to commercial
contraction Speculative sentiment
Was especially impressed by pressure
to realize profits in Amalgamated cop.
Ter, in spite of another rise in the
metal here and In London. This
realizing in Amalgamated copper was
the prime factor in the marked weak
ness of the late market and which
continued up to the closing,
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-17
Stocks y Bonds y Cereals


largely by reports of excellent pros
pect for large yields in Nebraska, Tex,
las, and Oklahoma The market was
ALSO bearishly affected by liberal re-
ceipts in the northwest and heavy
worlds shipments, While there was
some demand fer wheat because OF the
green bug reports the principal buy
ing was by shorts The close was weak
May off 13s, No. red 97as n99; No.
8 red 963s@St2; No. 2 hard 97asm
l041a; No 3 hard 95as 0102; May op-
ened 95M a6A highest 6h; lowest
5ls; closing 5lz "a. July $4,000
CORN-The slump in wheat depress-
ed corn somewhat but active buyixx
by shorts prevented any great de-
clines. Talk of increased offerings in
Nebraska also caused some weakness.
The close easy, May down "a No. 2
62@3B; No. white GlG21a; No.
yellow Ga u; May opened 6GA a 9s:
highest 3s lowest 51a; closing 5A a.
*. July G2A.
OATS-Weakened by the decline in
wheat and sentiment was bearish all
day. The estimate of $40 cars as 10,
cal receipts tomorrow weakened tn
market, May closed 1ad5s lower; No
3 white 52M54. May oiened $40 15:
highest 8; lowest T. closing Il. July
old As
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-17
CURE YOUR KIDNEYS.
Do Not Endanger Life When Cairo
Citizen Shows You the Cure.

Why viii people continue to suffer
the agonies of kidney complaint, back
ache, urinary disorders, lameness
headaches, laguor, why allow them
selves to become chronic invalids
when certain cure is offered them?
Doan's Kidney Pills is the remedy
to use, because it gives to the kidneys
the help they need to perform their
work.
If you have any, even one, of the
symptoms of kidney diseases, cure
yourself now, before dialects, dropsy
or Bright's disease sets in. Read this
Cairo testimony:
r. S. Donald, of 32f Twenty-ffth
street. Cairo H.. saws: Il have been
n sufferer from kidney and bladder
trouble for several years. | tried a
great many remedies. consulted doc
tors and over ten years ago they told
ne that I could never be cured.
suffered severely from pain across
my back and loins, and my hands and
feet were badly swollen. | had fire.
uuent headaches. was able TO eat but
little and the kidneys were much dis
ordered The secretions were very
frequent in passing. often contained
blood and the passages were attended
with severe pain. Doan's Kidney
Pills were finally recommended to
ne and I procured a box at Schuh's
drug store. l have not used them
very long but can honestly say that
am better than ! have been for the
!!a5t fifteen years and give Doan's
Kidney Pills all the credit"
For sale by all dealers. Price 80
cents. Foster Milburn Co Buffalo
n. Y. sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-an
take no other.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-17
PROPOSALS FOR CITY PRINTING
FOR THE YEAR ENDING 1908.
Cairo, ILL.,. March 10, 1908

Cairo ILL.,, March -, 1908.
Sealed proposals addressed to the
City Council Of the City of Cairo, viii
be received at the City Clerks office
up to O'Clock Tuesday. April z,
1908, for doing the city printing for
The year 1908.
All bids must include the publishing
in some daily newspaper Of all the
proceedings of the City Council, all
Ordinances governing the City of
Cairo, all official notices Of whatever
Kind required to be published by the
laws and ordinances of the City OF
Cairo and all other official notices re
quired by the CITY Council or County
Court.
The type to be Used is to be what
is known as S-point type. A bond in
the sum OF Two Hundred 100000 Dol.
lars with approved security must ac-
company each bid.
The City Council reserves the right
t. reject any and all bids.
ERNEST WORKMAN
City Comptroller.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-17
PREPARATIONS BEGUN
In Australia to Welcome American
Battleship Fleet Which Goes to
Melbourne Next Winter.

Melbourne, March Interpretations
already have been begun TO welcome
the American battleship fleet next
winter and a royal reception is as
sured. The lord mayor of Melbourne
said the city would make the occasion
memorable and the Americans could
be assured of an enthusiastic recep-
tion. The federal ministers are plan
ming entertainments and state govern
ments have promised to cooperate
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-17
CHICAGO LIVE STOCK.

Chicago. March 1G.-CATTLE-Re
cepits $4,000, active, ten higher; steers
s4G0MG.30 cows aud heifers $4,000
$50; bulls So. 0Q450; calves $3.50
7.25; stockers and feeders $2.75G
400
HOGS $1,000; steady; choice heavy
shipping $472m75; butchers $470M
-; light mixed 5000; choice light
packing $ic0MG5; pigs
S. 50m445; bulk sales $450M70.
SHETP-t500 Active and 10 high
er; s4500I50; lambs SG,25G7G0,
yearlings $G.25mG.S5.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-17
NEW YORK GRAIN.

New York, March 1G.-WHEAT.--
Receipts 1900; spot very steady; No.
, red 101 elevator and 102 fob. atloat,
Options closed 1902 cents net loss,
Nav closed 1895
CORN-Receipts 5000; exports .
900; spot firm; No. 7fA elecator;
IS fob anoat No. white nominal;
No. 2 yellow nominal alloat. Options
closed u cent net lower May 74#.
OATS-Receipts 13S00o; exports
1000; spot quiet mixed 81; white
57GG0; clipped white 60MG5.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-17

court, on the first Monday in May
next, ut which time all persons having
claims against said estate are notified
and requested to attend for the pur-
pose of having the same adjusted All
persons indebted to said estate are
requested toemake 1. immediate pay
ment TO tie Undersigned.
Dated this 9th day of March. A. ID.
1908. BENJAMIN FOLEY.
Executor.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-17
MISCELLANEOUS
EXECUTORS NOTICE.

Estate of George Van Brocklin, de-
ceased.
The undersigned. having been ap-
pointed Executor of the last Will and
Testament of George Van Brocklin,
late Of the County of Alexander and
State of Illinois, deceased. hereby
gives notice that he will appear be
fore the County Court of Alexander
County, at the Court House in Cairo
Mt the May Term. 4, D. 1908, OF said