Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-08-11
the ''BRONICAI
zO0'''
uno,e n,oks' Visit to New York.

bus OF one of the Adirondack resorts,
IL doing a roaring trade these days.
Every run the omnibus makes be"
tween the station and the hotel sees
every seat occupied, and there Is an
early rush to get the dickey seat with
Old Uncle" In the hope that he Will
hold forth on his recent marvellous ex-
periences In and about New York.
Uncle" Hicks. be It Known. has
lived in the mountains for 70 years.
and since his week IN the 'metroiopns
he Is inclined to say. with CheValler,
1T don't seem u day too much. i'ut
the mountain resort was thrown into
Consideration one morning last week
when Uncle" Hicks appeared at the
station with carpet bag. wearing MS
geto meeting raiment and minus the
omnibus.
"Mc7" he said. with the air OF
man who has made up his mind. I'm
going to Nyawk. been thinkin' o
dein' 1t f'r tn las % years~-an' now
I'm dom It," he added. firmly.
And SO Uncle" Hicks departed with
his carpet bag. The engine driver ana
the conductors knew Uncle" Hicks
and felt honored. Uncle was non
ored, too, for the engine footed as he
got aboard, and footed vociferously
when Uncle" Hicks came back. There
was a delegation OF Adirondackers to
meet him. Also the omnibus was
waiting.
The Adirondackers who had crowd
ed in to hear the wonderful tale were
disappointed Uncle" Hicks chewed
"metrolopus" cigar and gazed
blankly at the landscape. He did
vouchsafe a remark to the effect that
Summer seems ter be a bit late up
this way
Then the rush fell of and a reporter
took advantage of an empty omnibus
to get on the dickey. He approached
the subject with reportorial tact. Inc
impressions of a man who had waited
Is years before visiting the metropolis
could not fail to be interesting from
a psychological standpoint. The re-
porter recalled the first time he him.
self had seen the inside Of the Hippo
drome.
THE Hippodrome!" said Uncle
Hicks, with a start OF recollection.
went thar twicet. The stage o that
thar place is about ESQ feet long and
about so or 80 feet wide. seen 1t IN
the program book. An thar's tank
in It We cu'd shoot. duck In. l seen
more neutrality-suspicious. animiles-
in that thar plac-
But whut TUX me-talkin' OF ami
miles-was that Bronical Zoo.
The what did you say. uncle"
81 said the Bronical Zoo" said
Uncle" Hicks, with a glare. by
dunn. I seen animlles thar that l don't
believe is Twin any other place. l
seen a thing they call a zebra. which
IA lust a blame mule painted up to
look queer. But know hosskind, an
it didn't fool me.
81 seen a sea lion. too. That was
genwine, all right, cause 1t hadn't no
feet. 1t fiappered up on the rocks an
howled like mad. That's dunn
queer beast. ! must ha' looked at that
beast for an hour n a quarter"
Did you see the snakes. uncie!
Nav, l didn't" said Uncle" Hicks.
81 don't love them things we'll enough
to 60 an look at them for fun. But
seen a thing thar l wantit to ask
someb'dy abaout. 1t was a bird
reck'n II was meant for a bird-an' II
lad bill like shovel.
Was it a toucan, uncle?
Nav. it warn't no toO-can.
"Maybe it was a duck-mo!e."
Now, 1t warnt no duck-moie,
neither.
The reporter tried q few more. but
in vain.
Anyhow, II vas q dunn queer
beast" said Uncle" Hicks. with an air
OF finality. "Reck'n they got every
blame thing on airth thar. They even
got skunks."
You must have gone in the sub
way to get there" suggested the re
porter.
The subway" said uncle with q
f,oxn The way they hustle a man
in that place Is disgrace.
Put New York itself. uncle? How
about broadway"
Pretty fair town." said uncle. in
differently. But ! was disappointed
some. Ye xud think t hear folk talk
IL was a dunn bad place fr accidents
an murders and thieves. But I never
Ins, a cent while I wus thar. 'cept iE
one q them blame slot m'chines. II
either WIS a sw;ndle or II wusn''
workin'. But I went to busy corner
n, broadway and stood thar Is min
u,es seen 10 trolley cars pass
counted 'cm-an' dezzens IL automo
h,,cs and kerridres an wassins-an
.bc,e xusnt a blame accident that
c'ud sec.
IN yray