The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-10-15

snow fckers" "Soy how's de brakes down dat
way? De last time an de Honyak wuz dere,
de connie elevated from the inside of empty
inter cactus garden, four hundred and eghty-wan
miles from grub. We walks de ties fer tree weeks.
Den we hits Albuquerque an l near had tub beat
carpet tub git grub. De ole gurrul would NV
mad me Woik1n only she grubs me foist, befoar she
brings out de woik tools. Den l digs"
"Dere's nuttin' like dat dere, desc days. Dey
leaves de pies an eats out in de opun an de bo
wot can't freeze to wan meal an hour don't git no
soft wods from dis lulu"
That animated, brilliant and engrossing roper
toire was only of several thousand of the same
variety, which comprised hobo "reminiscences told
by members of the great army of the unwashed
which assembled in convention not many months
ago at Clifford, ILL.,, for the National Hobo re-
union.
Small tramps, fat tramps, tall tramps, short
tramps red-headed ones, blondes coored tramps,
lowdown tramps, tramps with high personal re-
gard for their vocations, and others who were
sneaky and might be caught working, were it not
for the watchfuness of their brothers, all assem-
bled in solemn conclave to worship their goddess,
Rest.
These sons of rest-but they were not all sons,
there several daughters of rest-all paid their
respects to the cause for which they are fighting
in their tactless way They for the nine
teenth time swore loyalty to the associations mot
to: Work, washing and worry weapons of the
devil and he who would knowingly or Intentionally
invite the descent of his patonic majesty in that
manner he it is who is no true Son of Rest"
Slothful SAM President Weary Willie, Ragged
Rufus, Tattered Tom Reekng Regnald Dinky
Dan the best dressed 'bo' in the association;
Handout Hank, Pieface Peter, Looping Louie, Walk
ing Walter Prayed Francis Mirthful Mike, Tin-Can
Teddy and all the rest of the influential brethren
of the Fraternal Order Of the Unwashed, were
there.
The attendance was as large as usual. There
were some missing, of course Roll call revealed
the fact that Secretary Signing Sinkers was I'm
avoidably detained by friends among the authori-
ties at the Desplaines street police station in Chi
cago. He was booked as "vag," much to the un-
washed chagrin of President Weary Willie who in
the course of his opening address remarked that
it "De woist coise dat wuz ever put fort on dis
susietie tub tink dat one Nv de most necessary
poissons of de order should be cumpelled tub miss
dis intelergen meetn'."
All the old officers of the association were re.
elected the minutes of the meeting being inscribed
upon the brain of President Weary Willie until Sec
retary Sinkers should be released from his soourn
in Chicago The members of the association, the
most easily satisfied crowd earth, then ad-
iourned This action consisted of the chief execu-
tive dropping into sound sleep. Others did the
same.
The following day the annual games of the or.
ganization were given There were several inno-
vations hitherto NOT introduced The long distance
snoozing contest drew out several hundred entries
and it required three days before the judges were
able to render decision. Wakeful Wafles was
returned victor eventually, but up to the time of
writing he was still snoozing noisily, utterly ignor-
ant of the honor which his happy faculty had
thrust upon him.
The handsomest hobo contest was captured by
Dinky Dan, who in little address to the slumber-
ing contestants in the long-distance sleeping con-
test declared that in the absence of any prize, the
honor alone gave him plenty of satisfaction.