The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-01-09
DRIFT " OOD BY PHIL H. ARMSTRONG.
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 Smash! Ten resolutions
 Standing in a line, Pa smashed his finger
 Then there were nine. Nine resolutions,
 Warranted straight. Pa saw a bar-room
 Then there were eight. Eight resolutins,
 Sworn under heaven, Pa went to the club-room,
 Then there were seven. Seven resolutions
 With the good to mix, Uncle had a pack of cards
 Then there were six. Six resolutions,
 Pa thought they would thrive, Some one gave him a cigar
 Then there were five. Five resolutions
 To be bad no more. They sent him tickets to "puflesque Then there were four. Four resolutions
 Good as good could be, A friend says Bet on Turf Queen" Then there were three. Three resolutions, But he went vent al and broke the baby's bank Then there were two. Two resolutions,
 q am nearly done), He slept too late to go to church,
 Then there was one. One resolution,
 nd That he'd make no more the next year, Then that was all.
 Though Selma booze is up, Selmians continue to put 1t down.
 Happy is the bride the mon shines on.
 The dead-beat industry still flour ishes in this country.
 Great aches from little corns grow.
 
 Cheer up-drinks will remain at the same figger in dear old Montgomery Isn't it nice to think you're not sui. locating with the heat of an August day or flaming mosquitoes to si<eer 'em off.
 Curiosity once killed 8 cat but the chances are 1t was gal cat' 
 With women barred from the Thaw trial 1t will not seem so much like a bargain day rush.
 When it comes to throwing out beau ty hints, what's the matter with your mirror.
 After a few drinks on the way home hubby's breath is made of cloves ana spice and everything nice. 
 little blindness now and then from the chaperone Is relished by the wisest sparkling couple.
 Way in the middle of the night when we are trying to go to sleep the oaek fence serenade sounds like some old Tom Cat is trying to live eighteen lives
 With the night riders tearing up the earth and the Powers trlaA ana the Legislature in session, poor Kentucky Is getting all that's coming to her. Your Uncle Grover says that the ex-President is a melancholy product of our Government system Here is ticket, suggested by the Providence Journal: For President. William J, Bryan m,,f,a or - NeprasKa; s i0F or A Chicago woman wants to recover ker. Isn't that just like ai woman-- men lose ten times that amount with cut a murmur' learning to play" v Kansas City must feel once more like the wild and woolly west with a train hold-up in her union depot.
 The banks are said to be loosening un and the financial situation grow ing brighter. Now, let everybody pull with a telling stroke
 When a man calls a woman a clothes rack, it's a sign he's married and his wife makes him put up for the glad rags.
 Why did he put in a plea of insan- '-Because he is crazy to come clear" Of course there is hitch in every wedding, unless the bridegroom re- fuses to stay and be hitched.
 q understand your girl is of very Gentle? I should say SO; she'll stand still and eat chocolates right out of my hand.'
 The King of Denmark says that he would like to visit Mir Roosevelt. If you come. Kingie, fetch along your tennis racket and golf sticks.
 A Pennsylvania man named Footen says Tennyson's poetry sounds like s"tearing rags" Cheer up, Footen, we stin have Ella Wheeler Wilcox.
 Compliments may not always turn dine mixture will