The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-05-10
QUEER RELICS OF
 THE PATENT OFFICE.

night. and Is provided with several blunt wooden points so arranged as to press upon those spots where dim pies are desired. Another of the curl osities of the Patent otice Is tornado proof house. which reyolves on a pivot. so that if 1t happens to be struck by one of those dreadful funnel shaped twisters it will simply whirl around and around. without losing its grip on its foundations, Another odditty Is railroad car, designed for revival tours. which may be transform ed into a church. On reaching a town where a meeting is to be held the vehicle Is run zu upon a convenient siding, its sides are unfolded and collapsible steeple. which is one of the most important parts of the arrange ment, is promptly adjusted.
 Of alarms of various kinds there are enough to make up a class by themsel- ves--this term technically covering all sorts of reminders of the time of day or what not. Thus a bracelet bestows upon its wearer sharp prick. with . 1 needle point when the hour of an in- portant engagement has arrived. A peculiarly constructed bedstead not only rouses the sleeper with tim tfnnabuiation, but actually throws him out on the floor. Another device em- ploys several corks, which, hanging from a frame. gradually descend upon a person in bed, thanks to a clockwork attachment tickling his nose at the moment when he should wake.
 Of all queer patented things made of paper the oldest, perhaps, are paper teeth. which are said to be quite ser viceable Paper bottles, too, seem cur ious, not to mention paper mattresses paper carpets. paper coffins and paper cigar boxes. impregnated with cedar oil to them smell like the real wood. There are even paper telegraph poles, made hollow and coated with silicate of potash to give them endur- ing quality.
 Electricity furnishes q multitude of | curiosities. Among the minor appli- ances are an electric horse blanket. designed to give comfort to the anil maj in cold weather. and an electric towel. which being connected with battery, diffuses an agreeable glow over the person after a bath. And speaking of baths there is a bathing car for railroads, provided with series of bathrooms. the water being supplied from a tank on top of the vehicle, But decidedly more ingenious are the bathrooms for oceangoing steamships. which have wire cages below the waterline, so that bathers may disport themselves without fear of sharks or
 
 The portable jail consisting of half a dozen barred cells in two tiers, was considered on absurdit when patent on it was applied for, but it Is now in use in South Carolina for transporting convicts to and from their work on the roads. An amphibious fort-that Is to say, a ship which may be taken apart and uton land for purposes of defence--may seem a nonsensical contrivance, but who can be sure that such an invention may not be utilized some day? Among the other aquat- ic oddities in the collection is a boat which, being put on wheels becomes wagon.
 Other curious represented among the models are a phosphorescent cat, to frighten mice at night: clock which is wound by the rain. a tank on the roof filling a bucket which falls slowly 'to the ground and pulls up the weight of the timepeice a clockwork egg boiler which lifts the eggs out of the boiling water at the proper instant. sewing machine which consists of single strip of metal held between the thumb and forefinger and so-called mechanical jac<ass. an instrument of torture designed for use at "shivarees'' and emitting soundssresembling a cross between the praying of a donkey and the footing of steam siren.
 Some of the most profitable invent ions displayed among the curious have been little ones efforts of the origi nators of the rubber change mat, the automatic .inkstand, the can opener. the now familiar tag. the shoe button fastener, the substitute for whalebone made of chicken feathers and known as fetherbone. the ice shaver, the glass lemon squeezer the metal cap for bot ties and the collar button that turns down intthe necktie from "hikink up.' prevent the necktie. from hiking up."