davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

from a bulk so squat and broad and
hairy as the silhouette before me that
I almost laughed aloud.
81 guess you've made no mistake on
that. I'm her master and her owner
too"
"Well, I hat been told you might
rent her," said the doctor.
"Rent her" mimicked the falsetto.
'sWell, that-yes, I'll rent her!" he
laughed again.
"Doch recht." The doctor was plain
ly at the end OF his practical resources.
After waiting a moment for some
thing more definite, the falsetto in
quired rather dryly:
GLOW long? What to? What for?
Who are you anyway
81 am DR.. Schermerhorn," the latter
answered.
"Seen pieces about you in the pa
pers."
GLOW many men hat you in the
crew."
fro RE CONTINUED
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28
HOW,s ThisS

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for a.
case of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Hal
Catarrh Cure F. ]. CHENEY & CO., Toledo
We. the undersigned, have known F. J. Cher
for the last Is years. and believe him perfec
cially able to carry out any obligations made l.
this firm. WALDISG KINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists oledo. o
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally actin
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces o
the system. Testimonials sent free. Price :
cents per bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Address: F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by all Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28
NeigbOrhOOd FayOrite

Mrs. E. D. Charles, of Harbor,
Maine, speaking of Electric Bitters,
says: st is neighborhood here with
u.s." 1t deserves to be favorite every
where. 1t gives quick relief In dys-
pepsia, liver complaint, kidney de-
rangement, malnutrition, nervousness.
and general debility. Its action on the
blood as thorough purifier makes it
especially useful as a spring medicine.
This alternative tonic is sold under
guarantee at w. j. Sedberry's drug
store 50c
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28
fro BE Continued
A Night Alarm

Worse than an alarm of fire at night
is the metallic cough of Group bringing
dread to the household. Careful
mothers keep Foley's Honey and Tar
in the house and give it at the first sign
of danger. Foley's Honey and Tar has
saved many a little lives and it is the
only safe preparation for children as ii
contains no harmless drugs. The ]. F.
Crow Drug Co.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Since the Jockey Club has de.
clared that gambling is not the in
centive in racing, Gov. Hughes
seems determined to let them try
taking their racing and their gamb
ling separately.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28
Evervtbino taken into the stom,

Everything taken into the stomach
should be digested fully within certain
time. When you feel that your stomach
is not in good order, that the food you
have eaten is not being digested, take a
good, natural digestant that will do the
work the digestive juices are not doing.
The best remedy known today for all
stomach troubles is Kodol, which is
guaranteed to give prompt relief. 1t is
a natural digestant it digests what you
eat, it is pleasant to take and is sold
here by The j F Crow Drug Co.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Swift and company, the great
packers, will soon put in a big
plant at Portland, Oregon. at a
cost of six million dollars. 1t will
require more thai two thousand
acres for the site of the big enter
prise.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Having taken all the credit for
the recent panic, it is about time
for Tom Lawson to begin series
of magazine articles on how he
brought about the return of pros.
nar;tr,
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

When the baby is cross and has you
worried and worn out you will find that
a lille Cascasweet. the we'll known rem
edy for babies and children, will quiet
the little one in a short time.
The ingredients are printed plainly on
the bottle. Contains no opiates. Sold
by The F Crow Drug Co.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Considering the troubles that
are looming up for che next ad.
miuistratlon, the wonder is that SO
many people should be hunting
for the Job
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

The Equitable of New York has
announced it is not going to write
any more insurance on the lives of
kings. Ii has just paid one for
King Carlos of Spain of one humid
red thousand dollars
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

A great many parents send their
children to Sunday School for one
hour every week, and hatter' them
selves that they have done their
Christian duty by their little ones.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Harry Payne Whitney says that
b never borrowed a cent from
j. tty Green Well. he is not the
On gilded youth who can boast
of his failure in that direction.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Ii Mr.. Taft gets elected, the
1srdest part of the job will be for
HIM to sit in the white house for
four years without getting out and
yelling somewhere
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Foley's Orino Laxative is new rem
edy, an improvement on the laXatives
of former years. as it does not grippe or
| nauseate and is pleasant to take. The
]. F, Crow Drug Co,
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28
Done Be Irritable

can irritated skin makes and irritable
person. and an irritable person gathers
much trouble unto himself or herself,
as the case may be. Moral: Use Hunts
Cure, one box of which is absolute and
unqualifiedly guaranteed to cure any
form of skin trouble, Any kind of itch
ing known is relieved at once and one
box cures"
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Mr.. Hartman has discovered in
spite of the fact that money talks,
the people who get it have to help
out the conversation a little some
time.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Just as the concert of Europe is
getting nicely tuned up, the Sultan
insists on sucking a lemon in front
the band stand.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Andrew Carnegie says there is
more in hard work than in luck
But really the results are no more
satisfactory.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

1t is almost unnecessary for the
Maryland Legislature to assure the
voters that there is no niger In
the constitutional amendment
Mnndnile
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

We are usually pretty careless
in our walking, but up to date we
have stumbled over the fragments
of any busted trusts.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

The spring freshet season brings
no consolation to the arid portion
Of the South.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Representative Hobson can al.
ways 60 on hoping that time will
prove him right.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28
WE CAN DOUBLE YOUR
SALARY.
The Business of This
Place is to Raise
Salaries.

That sounds queer, doesn't it,
and yet there is such claee in
reality-THE SOUTHWESTERN
BUSINESS COLLEGE, of Texar-
kana-an institution the entire bus
mess of which is to raise, not mere
ly salaries-but YOUR SALARY.
In few months time and at a
mere trife of cost we train you to
advance in your chosen line, or to
proftably change to more con-
genial occupation
Write for free catalogue today.
Visit us.
Open from 1880 in the morning
to $50 at night.
Both day and night school.
Southwestern Business
College
TEXARKANA, TEX..ARK:
Third Floor, Courier Building
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

Wisdom is what might govern
your decision if something else
didn't always do it first.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

The fellow who agrees with our
pet ideas is always q man of good
sense and judgment.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

A mans train of thought moves
when his wheels go around.
Jefferson jimplecute. (Jefferson, Tex.) 1907-1926, 1908-02-28

The man who is always boasting
about his rights seldom has
thought for another's wrongs.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
DIET TO CURE sLEEpLEssNEss
Common Causes of Insomnia-lndi-
gestion and Hunger.

Dr. William Stevens says that In
somnia is not disease itself, but the
effect of an unhealthy condition Of
body or mind When the cause is re-
moved the insomnia may be expected
to disappear.
Every physician has had stubborn
cases of it which would not yield to
any treatment and for which a change
of air or of scene became necessary.
But such cases as these should not
occur. an\ 6p occur only when
the sufferer has neglected precautions
that should have been taken when the
trouble first made itself manifest
Insomnia results from causes which
can be removed if attended to in sea-
SON. The most common cause is found
n the digestive organs. Either insult
apie food, causing insomnia as a fea-
ture of indigestion, or insufficient food,
causing the patient to be kept awake
by hunger.
There are few things which can be
universally recommended as diet for
sleeplessness, since what will agree
with one man will disagree with an
other. But two things that may al
most always be recommended are let
tuce and celery.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
Leave Charlottesville as follows

Leave Charlottesville as follows:
No. 20, daily, 7.OS p. m. Washington
and Florida Limited. Though coaches
and sleeper to Columbia, Savanna end
Jacksonville +; sleeper to Augusta; din
ing car service. Tourist to California
tri-weekly.5
No. 35, daily, II. 10 p. m. u. S. Fast
Mail, first-class coaches and drawing
room sleeper to New Orleans =; dining
| car service.
No. Al, daily, LOO a. M. New York
and Memphis Limited (via Lynchburg)
first-class coach and sleeping cars to
Roanoke, Knoxville, Chattanooga and
| Memphis. Sleeper to New Orleans
Dining car service.
No. 81, daily, I'll a. m. New York
and New Orleans Limited; all Pullman
train, club and observation cars to At
lanta and New Orleans; sleepers te
Asheville, Atlanta, Birmingham, New
| Orleans. Sleeper to Charlotte. Dining
car service.
Trains leave Harrisonburg for. Wash
ington $40 a. IN. week days, and 3.05
p. m. daily; arrive Washington H.
| p. M. and $50 p. M, respectively
| Trains leave Washington for Harrison
burg $50 a. m. daily, and Ais p. m
| week days; arrive Harrisonburg ESQ p
m. and 1910 p. M, respectively.
Immediate connection in New Union
Depot at Washington for and from
Baltimore, Philadelphia and NewYo rl'
c. III. Ackert, Vice-Pres. & Gen. Mgr
S. III. Hardwick, Pass. Traffic Mgr.
| w. II. Tayloe, Gen. Pass. Agt.
L. S. Brown, Gen. Agt.
Washington, d. c.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
Chrome Minino In Asia.

For many years past chrome min
ing has been pursued as an industry
in Asia Minor. The chrome is usual
ly found on mountains from 1000 to
5000 feet high. and is removed from
the pits to the railway station or mar
ket on the backs of camels.
But while the chrome in the neigh
borhood of Smyrna brought EGO a
ton, it now commands very small
price, being in this respect like anti
mony, so that It scarcely pays to mine
1t. and certainly not in districts re-
mote from railways. AS the chrome
of other countries comes on the
worlds markets that OF Turkey,
whose mines have never been worked
on a scientific basis with up-to-date
machinery, must necessarily decline
In value.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28

An Irish member of a gang Of
trike-breakers who were passing their
first night In one of the buildings OF
a certain Chicago beef company, not
long ago, had knelt in prayer at the
side of one of the long line of cots
just before retiring for the night,
when suddenly shoe sailed through
the air and landed on the bed in front
of him.
Raising his eyes until they rested
on this leather missile, the religious
Celt broke off praying long enough to
reach out and draw the shoe to him.
Then in loud, fervent tones he con-
cluded his prayer:
20 Lord, Oi'll bother Ye no more II
yell sind me tn mate to this wan!"
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
BETTER THAN CIPHER WRITING
South Sea Islanders Have Unique
Way of Sending Messages.

The day was warm and the sailor
turned on the electric fan and stood in
it's refreshing breeze with a pleased
smile.
I'D have my head shaved for the
summer" he said, but on my scalp is
tattooed in Polynesian, XIII Atara and
Rarahu, the bloody traitors
you know, boss, wunst lived down
Samoa way. lived the native life In
a white hut matched with palm
leaves, my young wife wove garlands
Of fresh flowers every morning for my
hair, and fed like native on nothin'
but baked breadfruit.
We'll, war ariz between our tribe
and another, and they sent me with a
message through the enemys country
Fust they shaved my head, then they
tattooed the message on the skull
then they made me wait till the hail
growed again
He smiled pensively.
Mine was happy life in the South
seas" he sad, land if you ever want
a safe way to send message, tattoo
it on your messengers scalp and lei
his hair grow over it."
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28

The church of All Hallows, London,
England, presents strange appear
ance every morning. The building
Is opened early for the accommodation
Of girls and women who arrive in the
city by the "workmen's" trains, which
frequently are run at such an hour as
to compel the passengers to make a
long wait after arriving in the city
for their places of business to open
A short service is conducted and then
the congregation is permitted and
even encouraged to employ themselves
with needlework or with reading. The
women and girls are provided with
reading matter, though care Is taken
that 1t shall not be too narrow in its
raUCe
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
THE NEW BOOKS.

The tinted titles now the thing;
IT'S real word painting. I may say.
The Purble Box, the Crimson Wing,
The Yellow Mask, the Scarlet Day;
1t opens up a vaster field
Than ever writing did before
The Green Golosh, the Blood Red Shield
All these and half hundred more.
However much the tale be worth,
We find our fervor flags and fades
Unless the title Is set forth
In rainbow hues or pastel shades;
The Tan Cravat. the Brown Valise,
The Blue Balloon, the Yellow Bead,
And things of pink. gray and cerise-
These are the books we have to read.
And when the book folk advertise
Some new and highly colored wares
1t costs me only heavy signs
I know not how the story fares.
To self-denial of new prints
I've had to bid me be resigned,
Because the titles are all tints,
And /, alas! am color blind.
New York Sun
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
A Yoqa's Feat.

For IA years Bava Luchman Dass
received from the priests Of the Black
Caves of central India the necessary
education in order to become a yoga,
as a yoga must be capable of taking
the 48 pastures of the Hindoo idols.
Perhaps his greatest trick consists
In balancing himself on the ends OF
his fingers while the whole Of his
body is in the air Bava stated that
in order to obtain the rank of yoga in
the Black Caves of India he had to
continue in this position on the ends
of his fingers under the eyes Of the
judges, without seconds interval
for seven days and nights!-Strand
MAGAZINE
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
STOCK LYRIC.
(ror Mconlng swains.)

(For Moonlng wains.)
Fair are your cheeks assroses rare:
(All who write rhymes have said this.)
Your eyes are bright as stars at night.
"a million girls have read this)
Ah!-(Here insert her name9
Your lips are life's elixir!
cor say, Loves scintillating flame
Most either one will fix her.o
Girl with the fascinating curl.
First lesson. this is simplex
Ny heart beats true to none but you.
(Now shy one at her dimpleD
Ah!-(Here insert her name.)
Your lips are like old wine. dear,
(Or put-far more sedate and tame
"I would that you were mine" here.)
Love, by yon disc moon high above,
Gan oath's tho proper caper)
I swear you this-a true hearts KISS!
(Try this on scented paper)
Ahi-(Hcre insert her name)
This FASHIONED rhyme must WOO you!
OHere make bid for lasting fame)
Who hasn't loved ne'er knew you!
Stacy F. Baker. in Puck.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
LYDIA E. PINKHHM

Nature and a woman's work COM
bined have produced the grsndest
remedy for woman's ills that the
world has ever known.
In the good old-fashioned days of
our grandmothers they relied upon
the roots and herbs OF the field to
cure disease and mitigate suffering.
The Indians on our Western
Plains to-day can produce roots and
herbs for every ailment, and cure
diseases that battle the most skilled
physicians who have spent years IN
the study of drugs.
From the roots and herbs Of the
field Lydia e. Pinkham more than
thirty years ago gave to the women
of the world a remedy for their Pc
culiar Ills, more potent and ef1ca-
cious than any combination Of drugs.
Lydia e. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound il now recognized as the
standard remedy for woman's Ills.
Mrs. Bertha Muff, Of 515 NC. St.,
Louisiana, Mo-, writes:
complete restoration to health
means 20 much to me that for the sake
of other suffering women am willing
to make my troubles public.
"For twelve years had been suffer.
ing with the worst forms Of female ills.
During that time I had eleven different
physicians without help. No tongue
can tell what suffered, and at times I
could hardly walk. About two years
ago wrote Mrs. Pinkham for advice.
I followed It, and csn truly say that
Lydia e. Ptnkham's Vegetable Com
pound and Mrs. Pinkham's advice re-
stored health and strength. II is
worth mountains Of gold to suffering
women"
What Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege.
table Compound did for Mrs, Muff,
It viii DO for other suffering women.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
Fertile Lands Of the Globe.

It is estimated that the fertile lands
of the globe amount to 2S.00O,O 600
square miles, the steppes to 14,000,000
and the deserts to 100000. Fixing
2O7 persons to the square mile for fer
tile lands, ten for steppes and one for
deserts as the greatest population that
the earth could possibly nourish.
scientists have arrived at the conclu-
sion that when the number OF inhab-
itants reaches 6.O00,000,000 the earth
will be peopled to its full capacity. At
present it contains somewhat more
than one-quarter of that number. It
The rate Of increase shown by the
latest census statistics should be uni-
formly maintained the globe would be
fully peopled about the year 2072.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
Excellent Health Advice.

Mrs. M. M. Dawson, of No. 379 Gift
ford Ave, San Jose, Cal, says: "The
worth of Electric Bitters as general
family remedy, for headache, bilious
ness and torpor of the liver and bowels
is so pronounced that l am prompted
to say word in its favor, for the bene-
fit of those seeking relief from such
Affections. There is more health for
the digestive organs in a bottle of Elec-
trio Bitters than in any other remedy
I know Of" Sold under guarantee at
B. F. Hughes drug store. SOC
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
She Likes Good Things.

Mrs. Chas. E. Smith, of West Frank.
lin, Maine, says: 81 like good things
and have adopted DR.. Kings New Life
Pills as our family laxative medicine,
because they are good and do their
work without making fuss about it. u
These painless purifiers are sold at B.
F. Hughes drug store. 25c.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
Saved!

At last the entire visible stock OF
lumber had been used up.
Whats the matter" asked the
father of a large family, with using
the old wooden bedsteads piled up In
the attics?"
Here was a practically exhaustless
source of supply that nobody had
thought Of, and mankind eagerly
adopted the suggestion and ran up the
price remorseless on the paper trust.
Chicago Tribune.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
Nothing in Vain.

The poet died without knowing what
he had been created for.
"To starved" was his one best guess.
OF course he was In error. Could
Ae have looked forward only hun
dred years or so, and beheld the cheap
skates who should then be making a
fat living writing about him, he must
have understood better. Almost moth
ing Is created in vain.-Puck.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
During chanaeabIe Weather.

"Mr. Uplate," said the lady, 1T Ia
now after ten o'clock. l really can
not keep the breakfast waiting for you
SO long every morning"
Madam" replied the lazy ledger,
with dignity, IL you think am going
to endanger my health by rising be-
fore the day is far enough advanced
for me to tell whether 1 shall have to
put on my winter fiannels or my gauze
underwear, you are entirely mis-.
taken"
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
Eane.

Unsuccessful Author-Jack, your
fame is spreading wonderfully. Only
this afternoon a friend of mine asked
me to try and secure your autograph
for him.
Successful Author-All right, Tom
glad to oblige him. Who Is It?
Unsuccessful Author - Isaacsre1n,
the money-lender. He wants it on
the back of my promissory note.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28

Troy (New York; women, conduct
ing ''tag day" recently for charity,
had to deduct So. 40 from the receipts
because of counterfeit coin.
Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-08-28
Southern Railway.

N. B.-Tte following schedule figures
are published only as IN .I.,-iion
and are not guaranteed. Schedule
in effect April II, 1908.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1908-02-03

ularity with the masses OF his own
people is said to have been tremend-
Gus, but the classes opposed him and
detested his prime minister, Senior
Joao Franco. whom the king insisted
on maintaining at the head OF affairs
and whose influence over the mon
arch has done much TO disrupt the
kingdom
The relations between Carlos and
his royal confere. Kink Edward. Of
England. were cordial and intimate.
They have had many conferences.
and the crisis in Portugars affairs
had long been matter of personal
knowledge with the British king.
Carlos 1. was the head OF the
house of Braganza, whose inception
dates from the beginning OF the ff-
teenth century He was the father
Of two sons, prince Louis PHILIPPE.
duke Of Braganza. born in 1887.
who was the crown prince and was
killed with his father. and Prince
Manuel. duke of Beja. born 1889.
Bluefield evening leader. [volume] (Bluefield, W. Va.) 1906-1911, 1908-02-03
ROUSING MEETING WILL
BE HELD IN CHARLESTON
TO BOOM MIR. TAFT

Charleston, w. Va. Feb. "a
meeting is to be held tomorrow night
at the Hotel Kanawha to boom Taft
for president It promises to be a
rousing affair as back of it are some
OF the most prominent business and
professional men of Charleston. Gov
ernor Dawson has signed the call as
has also Grant p Hall. The Hon.
Malcolm Jackson and VIM b. Mat
thews are among the we'll known
lawyers who have signed. I'm the
list of business men are Charles
Capito president of the chamber of
commerce; Phillip Frankenberger.
w II Pickett. j. c. Morrison. G.. A..
Gates. r. A. Barnes. j. S. Dana. Pc
ter SilIman r. A. stanton. Isadore
Schwabe and others. who are i'm IA
vor of the nomination of VIM. IT.
Taft for president.