The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-10-11
Giving Cuyler the Squeeze

work Up q feelfn' like that In New
York either. But you take a pay day
afternoon in the bow-wow days. when
the asphalt gets to softenin' up and
the excursion trains are bein' sent out
double headed, and It's then Broadway
| comes nearest TO givin' an imitation
of Main-st. IN Skowhegan.
/ was just thinkin' abou chasin' my
self out to Primrose Park and treatin'
the mosquitoes, when UP TO the curb
rolls a big gasolene parlor car with
the windows all open and one lonesome
gent sittin' up stiff and straight in the
middle seat Ever before he opens the
gate 1 feels the cool air rushin' out,
n If I'd had my eyes shut l could
ave guessed it was either Vice Pres
ident Fairbanks or Cuyler Hartshorn.
Which was it? All, say. you don't
think I'm handin' the North Pole can
didate. do you? It was Cuyler, OF
course Maybe he amt such a big
block off the berg as the Indiana gent,
but in his way Cuyler is a good deal
of a hannah frappe. But l don't mind
a little thing like that, specially this
kind of weather. When ne drifts into
the studio. there amt any need rum
min the electric fans.
He's been one of my reg'lars for
quite some time now, and we've got so
we'll acquainted that he can almost tell
me from Swiftly Joe hat a good
deal for a man whose father-in-laW is
the main shaft of a trust. Ever see one
of that kind2 Two or three years ago
Cuyler was IiVin' on the cheap at a col
lege club, and his whole assets was one
trunk, three shares of Standard Oil
Common, and the family coat of arms
done in colored ink Now he carries a
latch key to a double-breasted house
on Riverside drive, sets in at directors
meetin's. and makes a noise like a bal
loon when papa-in-law don't happen TO
be around the office. Say. I can just
see him chillin' TIE giZZarGs of them
~ten-doIlar clerks.
Never had a glimpse of Cuyler. Ell?
He's n of these boys with a nose
not the Palestine brand. but a regular
straight front. torpedo bow, fog split
ter-a nose what am. Holds it we'll up
in the air. Cuyler does, and looks out
past 1t at you like he was tryin' to
guess what excuse you had for Twin.
That's what comes of not bein' able to
forget that you're third vice president
of q trust by marriage and that your
great-grandfather had his name cut on
a So I near loses my bal
ance when Cuyler gives me the signal
TO butt -hto n Limousine.
'Me?' say 1. lookin' around to see
IL IC hlAA I l4lCCD III OAAC I
mods his head.
81 expect you'd like to take a little
run with me down to Coney Island and
back. wouldn't you?" says he.
IF it had been John D. himself l
wouldn't have gasped harder. or
grabbed IT quicker. You couldn't
have picked a more within party
says 1, jumpin' in and slammin' the
door. "Coney for minel Giddap."
Cn~Ier pushes a little button, and
on the front porch gives her the
q speed ahead
rGeei" says ]. running my eye over
the silver trimmin's n workin' my
shoulder into the leather paddin'. this
is opulence. all right, Guess you had
to strip a few thou. off your bank roll
when you picked this wagon Ell. Mr..
Hartsborn?"
lit is rather a good car" says he
careless like. Belongs to Mrs. Harris
horns father, you know
l might have guessed that: for any
of Cuyler's dear friends will be glad to
tell you how he's the highest wad in
their bunch. I've heard more or less
about Cuyler's habits along this line,
but inside OF the next Jour or so I has
what the pancake fOur agent calls a
practical demonstration.
First off. this little trip Of his, that
has all the tags of a reckless blowout,
was just a swell way of dom the iron
steamboats, out of half a dollar. Faith
er-in-law bein' in Europe. the machine
was made free to son CuyIer. Seems
that Mrs. Cuyler Vas away with the
cid folks. too, and that's a who'll lot
cheaper than payin' the passage money
yourself.
Maybe Cuyler want achin' to give
up all these points: but 1 was tryin' to
be sociable. so they come out ANY,
-sa.s H. lr1@FN hall -A,-A .L~ -4
In up how much he was saVin'. Fact
is. he seemed to enjoy IT.
And by crossing Brooklyn bridge in
stead of taking the ferry" says he, ."T
can make the entire trip without
spendin' a cent"
You're a wonder. says I.
But say. I didn't half appreciate
him. I was fgurin' on seem him let
loose of some coin after we got to the
island. Ever know any one to get
clear of Coney without givin' up a few
quarters? Well, I'd never seen ii done
until Cuyler showed me the way. Does
he stow the car in a garage and get
out where the barkers n pullers in
a have a fair show? Not him! He
Adon't even unbclt the door. We lust
iTols up r down Surf-ave. a couple of
times. strewin' pangs of envy like a.
I s%prinklin' cart sheds water, and then
we heads for the city again. without so
much as crackin' open a bag OF pea
nuts.
Ever tap one of them Manhattan
Beach dinners?" says 1, not h%intin', OF
course.
No" a Y he; II always carry a
luncheon hamper with me-"
Think of a man that has coolies of ii
within reach eatin' cold sandwiches
over a fifteen-nile course just lined
with cafes and oad houses, I begun
wonderin' if I shouldn't offer to pay
for half of the gasoiene.
Wed gone a couple of miles up the
boulevard from the beach when some
il happens to the spark. and
Frenchy has TO haul up to one side of
the road n crawl underneath with
the monkey wrench CuyIer and 1 had
climbed out to stretch our legs I'm the
parkway; when we most steps on the
queerest lookin' freak I ever see at
large.
He was squattin' on the grass with
his back up against a tree, rollin' a
cigarette. And say. I've seen some
fancy regalia worn in place of clothes,
but 1 never got real close to such a