Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-09-25
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Physicians are about the only men
who really enjoy Ill health.
Before altering her complexion a
woman always makes up her mind
The average married man wastes
lot of sympathy on his wife's husband.
Jack-YeS, poor John may have had
his faults, but his heart was on the
right side. Wagge-Is it possible? No
wonder he died.
MistreSs-You can't entertain your
company in the parlor. Bridget-N
can't? Why, mum. didn't yez hear him
Iaughin' fit to shplit?
Il presume this is Lovers Lane"
You forget that ours is a strictly fash
ionable suburb" "Ah?" This is At
tinity Avenue. Puck.
What makes old Blank so uneasy
when motor ear comes along?" why,
his wife ran away in one. and he is
always afraid she is coming back"
THE man who wrote Curses, like
chickens, come home to roost-'"
'Well?' Must have had different
neighbors from what I've got'-Hous-
ton (Texas) Post
This gas bill is only for 10 cents"
| We'll, SIR" couldn't you add 81?
I've been writing my wife that I'm
spending my evenings at home Lou
isville Courier-Journal.
INV dam -o,,,,,.1-,I . 1911 ..,,.,.
opening the dining room door. 1.-THE girl
left the vegetables on the hall table"
Don't be so stupid" exclaimed his
wife. THAT is my new hat"
She-John, what is Il stock quota.
ton? He Con the wrong side Of the
market)-IIuhI | guess a fool and his
money are soon parted" is pretty good
! example.-Boston Transcript
Mrs. De Style-So your baby girl is
three weeks old; my. how time flies.
Mrs. Gunbusta-Yes; just think, in
thirty years from now she will be TWEEN
ty-one years old.-The Sphinx.
You say you read every word Of the
advertisements in that magazineP
Yes" answered Miss Cayenne ITS a
relief TO find something that isn't III
dialect" Washington Cd. c. Star.
She (sternly) This memorandum I
found in your pocket, Ribbon FOR the
| typewriter" looks black He (sur-
prised) of course it does. It's the ink
off the old ones.-Baltimore American.
Mother-What did Mrs. Meaniy give
you for cutting her grass? Willie
Nothing. Mother-Why, she pr ,mised
you 10 cents, didn't she? Willie-Yes,
but l used her sickle to do 1t with and
she charged me 10 cents for the use of
it-Ptoneer Press.
| I'll take your damage ease" said the
| lawyer, helping to his feet the man just
! hit by an automobile. "Thanl you"
replied the victim, I'm not much hurt,
but 1 recognized that measly chauffeur.
| He may have a case for you later
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Englishman Gin British Museum
This book, sir, was once owned by
Cicero. American Tourist-Pshawl
that's nothing. Why, in one of our
American museums we nave the lead
pencil Noah used to check off the ami
mails as they came out of the ark
| Tit-Bits.
What seems to be the matter with
Mrs. Brown? She's ailing so" Yes,
poor thing she's got one of those new
| tangled diseases" "She has? My, how
fortunate she is, to be sure Here I've
had nothing more stylish than lumbago
and I'm three years older than she isl
Detroit Free Press.
"Ias that girl next door to you still
got her parlor melodeOn?" NO, she
exchanged for a cornet, I'm glad to
say" But, gracious, if she plays the
cornet that's worse, isn't it," Not at
all It's only half as bad. She cant
sing while she's playing the cornct'-
Philadelphia Press.
Old Lady-My little boy, have you
TO better way to spend this beautiful
afternoon than by standing about iding
away your time? Boy ain't idling
son inside making love to my sister. and
he is paying me sixpence an hour to
watch for pa.-Chips.
Policeman Ito tenant Of dat) And
you say the rug was stolen from your
hall Can you give me any particulars
Of it? Tenant (nervOusly) oh, yes.
1t was fancy reversible rug-red on
one side and green on the other. Po-
Iiceman (impressively) - All - and
which was the green side?-Punch
81 want to put an ad in your paper"
said the weary-look1ng man. Make it,
Wanted, a situation; any old job.''
Shall 1 say, wages no object?" sug-
gested the clerk. NO, make 1t object,
matrimony.' If l could get acquainted
with a decent job I'd be willing to mar
ry it for life."-The Catholic Standard
and Times.