The Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1903-1909, 1908-07-15

His Wife-You would not have half
the nervousness You do II you would
give up smoking
Himself-Oh. couldn't live without
my pipe.
His Wife-Yes, you could. You told
Mile Perry you could not live without
her before you met me
The common impression that all per
sons In English upper classes are en-
titled to coats OF arms Is erroneous, for
there are instances OF noble and an
Client families who have no right to use
hereditary coats OF arms aud scorn to
take grant at this late day.--London
Saturday Review.
The best known picture In the world,
1t has been said, is vandykes portrait
of James H. OF England as an infant,
known as the Baby Stuart" Two mil
lion copies Of 1t are said to be In Amer
lean homes. and It is equally popular
In England and continental Europe
London Express.
Late Arrival ito singer)--I am sorry
to arrive late at your concert, but, be-
lieve me. would willingly give thou
sand francs to have the pleasure Of
hearing you.
Singer-Ah. you fiatter me.
Late Arrival-Not at all. am as
deaf as stone.-Bon Vivant.
An engineer went to school to pass
for seconds certificate. We'll"
said the examiner, what steps would
you take II the main steam pipe were
giving outY' The engineer replied, Il
would take the engine room steps three
at time" He passed the door.-Mel-
bourne Times
During about 700 years the Latin lam
guage was the language of court, camp
and polite society from the river Tweed,
In Scotland, to the Euphrates, In Asia,
and from the Crimea. in the Black sea,
to the pillars of Hercules, at the west
ern extremity Of the Mediterranean
sea.
Pitt had answered a speech of Sher-
idan's and complained when the latter
proposed to rejoin that Sheridan al
ways wanted the last word.
mot at ALL" said Sheridan, instant
ly withdra wing his request to be heard.
II am content with having had the last
argument"
at Is a curious thing" remarked the
ships doctor, that puff or two of
cigarette will make me deathly sick
and so will the movement Of swing
or q hammock, but out at sea, no mat
ter how violent the motion of my ship
Is, 1t never affects me at all."-New
York Press
Sam-What's de matter with you and
Chloe? Susan-Matter 'nough. She
insulfed my friend. Mr.. Jackson, what
called on me las night. Sam-Insult-
ed Mr.. Jackson. did she? Susan
OATS what she done. She asked me
who dat ere nocturnal visitor was!-
Yonkers Statesman.
Little Fred-Mother. amt father got
a queer idea of what heaven Is like?
Mother.-I don't know, dear. | never
heard him say anything about 1t. Lit
tie Fred-Well. did. He told the
grocery man that the week you spent
In the country was like heaven to him!
London Telegraph.
Mr.. Josher-Miss Anteek. wouldn't
you like to change your name? Miss
Anteek doyfully)-0h, John, yves!
Mr.. Josher-Then why don't you make
an application to the proper authori-
ties? | believe the courts will grant
you permission II you show good rea,
son for the change. Cleveland Leader
Wedding presents originated in a
feudal tribute from the vassals to
their lord. When feudalism ceased.
the presents became voluntary. In the
days Of Queen Elizabeth pair OF
knives or scissors was common gift
and symbolized the cutting Of unfaith-
full love.
One Bread~inner Enough.
"Rastus. you old scoundrel. didn't
your wife tell you that | wanted some
cord wood cut this afternoon"
"Scuse me, jedge. but didn't my mis-.
sus git yo'r family wash ter do dis
very mawnin'T'
Eyes"
"Well. undah dem circumstances
ledge, NAH wife am a woman OBJ mo
sainse n ter fetch me emmy sech mes
sage jes' at dis time."-Judge.
Had Done His Best.
Uncle Hosea did not feel able to con-
tribute more than rs cents to the mis-.
sionary cause, and he was not particu-
larry enthusiastic about giving even
that amount
you ought to give as the Lord has
prospered you" said the deacon.
II don't think the Lord II ever ac-
cuse me OF bein' ungrateful." answered
Uncle Hosea. "Six Of my boys IL
| preachers. Chicago Tribune.
Dignity and Trousers.
Husband-My dear these trousers
are frayed at the bottom. Wife-They
are the best you've got, John, except
| your dress trousers. Husband-WeH.
L 49,. v-ksx s~f