davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
NO CRAM MARIAN.

From the New York Globe.
Weary Willie-Lady kin yourse give
a poor Teller bite t. eat?
Mrs. Rurallum-Why, certainly. Did
you see a pile of wood as you came in?
Weary Willie-Yes'm, ! seen it.
Mrs. Rurallum-You mean you saw 1t.
Weary Willie (beating 1t while his
shoes were good)-'Scuse me, lady, but
amt no grammarian
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
THE SUCKER STATE.
n the New York Press.

From the New York Press.
Illinois has been called the Sucker
State" for many years. and her natives
are known as Suckers A dozen rea-
sons or excuses have been given for this
strange designation, but. the only salts
factory one was told me the other day
by grandson of Ninian Edwards. THE
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
REFLECTIONS OF A HAcHE
New York Press.

From the New YOrK PTeSS.
Few ministers are as black as they
dress themselves.
Women pretend to like chivalry, but
they admire the brutal man.
When woman admits she doesn't care
for a man. she cries over him.
1t takes an awfully clever man to dodge
a woman bent on marrying him.
It's pleasure to know that when you
get out of debt you can get in again.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

posed of. 1t is not entirely different from
the treatment used In other diseases
where anti-toxins are used. The great
value of the treatment will be-if proved
what is claimed for it-that 1t Is compar-
atvely easy for any physician to admin
lister and that 1t is quick in it's effects.
Jast now we are making great progress
with the disease. but in most cases re-
covery is slow even If sure.
Surgeon Wright tells of a case of man
supposed to be dying, with one lung
wholly infected and the other partially
so,s who in a few weeks has recovered
almost his normal weight and appears to
be sound. This seems miraculous. but
it is to be hoped that what was true in
this case may be typically true. Ths
world is engaged in struggle to the
death with the disease which ravages and
destroys more human lives than any
other.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
A FORLORN END.

A FORLORN END.
l sing a proud, ambitious man
Who longed to make his mark;
He never would lay down his cares
For any kind of lark.
He found no time to smile smile,
Or walk in pleasant ways,
And said, 1.-THE quest of happiness
1t very seldom pays"
Oh, well, oh we'll, he had his wish
Had power, wealth and fame,
But no one spoke in kindness or
Heaped blessings on his name;
No friendship cheered his later days
And love it passed him by,
And as he conned 1ife's written page,
He also learned to sigh.
The saddest words of ALT might have
kept it."
Two hundred hunting horns have been
ordered for the use of President Roose-
velt's party in Africa Perhaps the plan
is to frighten the animals to death.
PAUL COOK
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

The offices of the wicked trusts are
hlled with the smell of burning paper
old letters going where they can not
be purloined and sold
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

The referendum vote in Maine
was 1891 yeas and 23,712 nays. Popu-
lar rule is spreading over the country.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

Col. G. Whiz has supplanted General
Apathy in the campaign, and the
change is almost electrical.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

Mr.. Foraker and Governor Haskell
find the campaign fully warm enough.
They would, In fact, prefer a little
more apathy.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

Our old friend, Chance Day, is miss
ing rare opportunity to butt in.
Brother Archbold certainly does need
a friend.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

Theodore Roosevelt, Jr.. has gone to
work, and pa is very busy, too, in try
ing to hold Candidate Taft's head
above the water.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
For A CHANGE.

Sometimes when we're as glad as gla'
can be
And smile and smile,
In truth, it seems a kind of luxury
To NOPE a while.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

The rest of the world may yet have
to quarantine against Russia and all
should declare war against the plague
carrying rats.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
ATZTI1E CLOSE.

At HE NLUSE.
Life is all a gamble
Here below;
just little scramble,
Then we go
Willy-nilly sailing
Ger the deep.
Tears are unavailing-
Fools to weep
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

John Dustin Archbold is considered
the brains of the Standard Oil COM
pany despite the fact that he is a
great letter writer.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

The President is not going on the
stump, but he is overworking his ste
nographers and typewriters.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

Mr.. Hearst's collection of autograph
letters from distinguished citizens is
lending spice and variety to the cam
paign.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
ALONG Study.

"A man started out in his youth to anal
we woman. Finally he hit upon
theory which promised great things, but
he was SO years old by that time and
passed away before he could put his
theory into practice
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

The theory of aerial navigation
stands solved, but the practice of it
remains to be rendered wholesome.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

The violence of st. Petersburg's
cholera epidemic is made plain in the
reported shortage of grave diggers.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

The long distance weather forecast
promises rains in this state on Monday
or Tuesday, accompanied by cooler
weather
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

The lovers of good horses will go to
the State Fair and so will those who
desire to see the people of Alabama
in convention assembled.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

Standard Oil should begin to shed
light on it's own affairs as well as on
the affairs of others.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

In Chicago a man was found tied to
a water plug, and some think Candi-
date Chain did it.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

The Standard Oil looks over an I'M
feeling world without seeing a sympa-
thetic face, not even Chance Days.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

fund. But no one believes the repub-
liean fund has ever seen the bottom Of
its purse.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

President Eliot is tariff reformer,
and he would scorn the title OF rev1s-
ionist.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

The candidates are doing their share
of the fighting in this remarkable cam
paign.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

OF COURSE NOT.
lie sought in vain for happiness
Through valleys of despair;
And might have known, poor blundeferi
He wouldn't find it there.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
CONCERNING j. BOSWELL

even his excellent wife could not quite
cure him of this falling. He was ex-
ceedingly vain and passionately DESTROYS
to make a name for himseff-to do some-
thing that counted. There is a note much
more pathetic than ludicrous in his eager
words after the publication of his long
forgotten Corsican book, "I am really the
Great Man now" The quantity of his
writings was great-and that in spite of
his natural Incidence. He deserves some
credit for this; nor should we laugh too
unkindly at his idol-hunting, his devotion
to Paol and Johnson, his begging Chat
ham to write to him, his forcing him
self on Walpole 'in spite of my teeth"
as that none too amiabIe person de-
scribed it. There too is there not some-
thing not wholly weak? Boswell had
real desire to exploit the best that was
in him and in the end succeeded. And
with this not by any means wholly de-
spicable ambition was united a person
atty which must have had much that
was attractive. Hume's characterization
of him as "a friend Of mine, very good
humored, very agreeable and very mad"
suggests much.
But Boswell was fortunate above his
fellows in that with him the artistic
temperament did not finally find its out
let After all had he not right to
his vanity? If his many essays and
poems are forgotten he wrote one book
which will live as long as the English
language is spoken. And he knew
that in him lay some real power. May
we not remember that when we laugh
at or condemn the many foibles and
worse Of his life? Boswell was weak
man, but he was by no means wholly
or even largely BAD man in any
sense of the term. He was an inor-
dinately vain man, but he had some
thing to be vain ola genuine and
unique power. Whatever his sins of omis-
sion or commission he deserves the honor
which is to be given him. Let us accept
Macaulay's praise of the biography and
forget his too caustic vilification of the
man. Boswell lived before the day of
the artistic temperament; therein lay his
misfortune.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
TEMPERAMENT.

''Grubber, the poet, seems to have an
aesthetic nature"
All indeed he hasl The very thought
of paying a debt is abhorrent to him."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

The two national committees are
close competitors0n one respect--eacn
claims to have the smaller campaign
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
THE WRONG PLAY,

well, did you get your salary raised?"
yes. raised out of reach
How was that?''
"The boss said he could do without
me-"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

Miss Ida Tarbell continues to be vim
dicated in every campaign.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
NO SET RULES.

There isn't any book, I say,
Forthcoming on demand,
Which tells the only proper way
To hold a girlie's hand.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
GEN1,I.E WAYFARER.

A GENTLE WAYFARER.
He fought good fight
And now 1t is over;
Quiet has come
TO the weary rover.
His name? You ask
1t doesn't matter;
Twill soon be forgot
In worldly clatter
And yet, not in vain
He Jared SO lowly,
For in his life
Was something holy
A patient heart
And speech SO kindly,
That children came
And loved him blindly.
IT SURELY Isl
"Pa. what is the Vision of Salome %
Its a sight, my son. Run out into
the yard and play"
A MANS WAY.
A lucky chap in this old world,
Where countless millions weep,
Has bread to eat and clothes to wear
And place edcn nlBDl W sioop'
But instead of smiles, he growls and
growls
And NOUNS his fortunes dearth,
Because-"What fools these mortals
ber'-
He doesn't own the EARTH
SLIGHTLY MISTAKEN.
"Our pastor is dandy
At shouldn't think you would want a
dude"
.Oh, [ mean he's a good preacher"
JUST so.
"She knocks knee-sllirts."
o,rhat's because she's knock-kneed."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

odd Grabb is mighty poor citizen
"Why do you say that?"
HE doesn't think he lives in the best
town on earth"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
THE AGE HERALD
f. W. BARRETT. ........-.. Editor.

Entered at the Birmlnghah' ~. "a,
postoffice as second-elass matter uhoei
act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
TT SURELY ISL

IT 81 hELl 10.
PA, what is the Vision of Salome 2!
Its a sight, my son. Run out into
the yard and play"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

L. II. Russ and 2. E. Morgan are the
only authorized travelling representa-
tives of The Age Herald in its circuia-
ton department.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

Washington Bureau Age Herald. 142,
G street, N. W.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
list SO.

"She knocks knee-skirts."
"Thats because she's knock-kneed."
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27
SLIGHTLY MISTAKEN.

"Our pastor is a dandy"
"I shouldn't think you would want a
dude"
.Oh, [ mean he's a good preacher"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-27

No communication will be published
without its authors name. ReJeoteo
manuscript will not be returned unless
stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-06-21

terial, as he Is something of a detec-
tive himself and expects to receive
anonymous letters, giving him ali the
data he will not be able to find out by
his own Paul Pry methods. He wants
a sensation and IL certain to have IT.
II is not dificult to forecast the fin
ish Of this minister-with suitable
apologies for chasing him in that list.
He will find himself deserted by his
congregation and will probably be out
later posing as a martyr and issuing a
new series of lamentations. He has
simply mistaken his calling. Instead
of being in the pulpit, charged with
the duty of teaching forbearance,
brotherly love and all kindness, he has
shown his fitness for editorial control
of a yellow journal that fattens on so
ciai testers and grows rich on scandal
mongering. Bad as the old world is,
1t is getting better every day. Gossip
still thrives, but there is a marked dis
position to retail the good deeds of
men and women rather than emphasize
and exaggerate their faults and weak
nesses. No good can ZONE from the
plan adopted by the Little Falls
preacher and the sooner he is relegated
to his proper sphere the better for his
church and for the people with whom
he comes in contact.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-06-21
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT

Washington Herald; A New Jersey
preacher advises men TO let their wives
have the last word always. And we sup
pose they pay him a salary to hand out
such advice as thatl
Topeka Capital: An Illinois town paid
Evangelist Bill Sunday $4,000 for holding
a revival meeting. There is money in
preaching II you are willing to make a
monkey out Of yourself.
Kansas City Star: One logical and per-
tinent objection to the act of changing the
name Of the Dunkar denomination of the
Church Of the Brethren is that all Of the
churches nowadays are made up chiefly
Of "sistern."
Washington Post: 1t seems a bit unfair
for Rev. Billy Sunday. to denounce as
grafters, confidence men. and hypocrites
gentlemen who are holding jobs that pre-
vent them from inviting him to come out
side and say IT,"
Cincinnati Enquirer; Rev. DIR. Dixon
asserts that there is no such place as he'll.
There is no known reality or materially
about hell, but the ideality is frequently
hot enough to scare almost anybody into
a measure of goodness.
Baltimore American: Cardinal Logue has
returned home very enthusiastic over his
welcome in America. We should felicitate
ourselves that our brand of hospitality can
impress even the country which is con-
coded to be the model of It.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-06-21
SERMONS BOILED DOWN.

They are richest who give the world most
refreshing.
Making a name for gold does not maks
a golden name.
Truth rests on facts, but her face reaches
higher realms.
Hope and aspiration Joined make the en-
ergy of any life.
1t often takes a great load to get a man
down on his knees.
The failure to be feared is that OF fearing
to begin lest you fail.
That is a good lesson on patience which Is
learned through pain.
An appetite for flattery attracts our foes
and repels our friends.
Lots Of people think that jeering at Others
~tustifies them for never trying.
Pride simply is the dread of a puncture
common to every pneumatic article.
For one man who desires to double his
worth you will find 100 passionately anx.
ious to double their wealth.-Chicago Trib
une.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-06-21
FOR LOWER CABLE TOLLS

While the American government
and the American people may not take
very kindly to the proposition of MIR.
]. II. Heaton, q member of the British
Parliament, hat the United States and
Great Britain unite in securing joint
ownership of the Atlantic cables, there
will be general approval of his sugges
ton that the two governments at least
join their energies in an effort to Sc
cures reduction of existing cable tolls,
Mr. Heaton's authenticated figures
showing the rates and earnings of the
cable companies, furnish sufficient
argument 10 warrant the agitation for
a radical reduction of cable rates. Mr..
Heaton shows that the carrying capa-.
city of the Atlantic cables is 100000
900 words per annum, while the actual
business of the companies at present
is but $4,000, 900 words per annum,
or one-twelfth of their capacity. The
present charge is rs cents a word. Mr..
Heaton contends that the expense of
maintenance and operation of the ca
e.
BILE lines would be no greater IL they
were worked to their full capacity, and
that the revenue they now receive
would be produced II the charge was
2 cents a word instead of 20 cents.
The present rate has prevailed for a
quarter of a century, although charges
have been reduced in every other ear
rying trade.
1t is an established fact that bust
ness is always increased by a reduction
of transportation rates and the tolls
now exacted by the cable companies
simply retard the development of in-
ternational trade relations. Refusal
of the cable companies to listen to the
appeals of the commercial interests of
the two continents may force favora-
bic consideration Of Mr.. Heaton's sug-
gestion for a government monopoly Of
cables.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-06-21
rHr KING ANp RE coNoo.

49,
The United States = and the other
powers that were parties to the orig
inal Brussels agreement by which the
government of the Congo country was
left to the management of King Leo
pold of Belgium have a healthy pros
pect of being drawn into some deter
mined plan of Intervention for the
purpose of ending the condition of af-
fairs which is admitted to be the most
shocking that has existed under any
administration of modern times. A
crisis has been reached between Leo
pold and the Belgium Parliament and
a revolution is in prospect unless the
powers take a hand.
Under the original agreement the
Congo was made a part of the Belgium
government, nominally at least, the
king of Belgium taking authority over
the country and reporting to the Bel
gian Parliament. Old Leopold has
ignored the terms of the agreement,
has treated the Congo as his personal
property and has permitted, If not di-
rectly caused, terrible cruelties in ex-
torting tribute. The cruelties prac-
ticed upon the Congo natives have be-
come a world scandal, Recently a
tentative agreement was> reached by
which Leopold was to, surrender con-
troll OF the Congo to the, Belgian gov
eminent. This 'was acceptable to the
powers and to the Parliament at Brus-
sells, but all reform plans have been
spoiled by Leopold's sudden refusal to
carry out his agreement except upon
terms which would make his control
in the Congo more complete than ever,
at the same time shifting the RESPONSE
bility for misgovernment upon the Bel
gian Parliament. The temper Of the
Parliament and the Belgian people has
become so hostile that a revolution d.
reeted to the dethroning of the king is
certain to follow, unless he yields or
the powers that have both a technical
and a moral interest in the Congo in
~tervene. Great BRITAIN on account of
its heavy interests in southern Nigeria,
bordering on the Congo, has taken the
lead and has made Overtures to the
United States for concerted action In
the form of Intervention on moral and
humane grounds.
The Belgian people have become
aroused with the rest Of the world
over the miseovernment and maltreat-
ment Of the poor African victims Of
the avarice and cruelty of the Belgian
Omaha daily bee., 1908-06-21
PERSONAL AND OTHERWISE.

When June is good It is mighty good.
The legion of also ran" knew what was
coming.
The country is reasonably safe. Jim Hill
has gone fishing.
AS a summer diversion young scientists
are discussing e journey to the moon.
They banker for the whole cheese.
A weather prophet without any particular
distinction at. home hints that the straw
hat may separate itself from the overcoat.
The sign Thou shalt not steal' was
hung In New York street cars after the
promoters had looted the line into the
hahds OF a receiver.
The Chicago convention did pretty we'll
for a safe and sane body OF men. but the
only genuine big noise this year will be
pulled off in Denver next month.
For stealing an old hat and a screw
driver a Pennsylvania man was sent to
the penitentiary for ten years. The Key
stone state cherishes great contempt for
petty thieves.
Some ridiculous critics find the Filipinos
unfit for self-government because members
Of the legislative assembly waste precious
time in oratory. What other example dare
they follow but the Americana? Go to!
Ano poHCy OF ulSdTHldnnenl Is progressing
in spots. At a murder trial in Groveton,
Tex, the witnesses and spectators We're
relieved of n~inety-four pistols before enter
ing the sacred precincts of peace and blind
folded Justice.
Oregon has adopted by constitutional
amendment the right to recall a public SER
want who does not suit. Whenever 25 per
cent OF an alderman's constituents gets
tired OF him they can pull him off and he
has to quit or stand for reelection.
George M. Fisher, n years old. said to
be the originator of department stores, was
buried in st. Louis last week. Twenty
nine years ago he opened department stores
In Cincinnati, Cleveland, Toledo and Brad
ford, Pa From these points the Ohio idea
spread throughout the country.
Those who lost out at Chicago are con-
aoied by the thought that there are worse
happenings. Think of the Chicago man
who is obliged to pay alimony despite his
former wtfe's remarriage. Sixty dollars a
month to another mans wife is humiliation
rubbed in twelve times a year. Is life TO
him worth living?
A novel writer known throughout tho
south as Grace Duncan Terrell presented a
novel climax 10 her husband in Chatta-
nooga on the eighth anniversary of their
marriage. Striking the pose Of a heroine,
she whispered II don't love you any more,
Hugh; I am going away" And action was
suited to the word.