The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-03-15
New York City, Feb. 20, 1908.

AoIu you nave something still IeIt TO
live for. All her monologues are good,
but she has one about a boarding house.
The Habitual Boarder'' it is called, |
think, in which she is inimitable. She
is supposed to be seated at a table TAX
ing breakfast, and her pantomine is so
excellent that you can absolutely follow
her from fruit and oatmeal to eggs. She
IS happy woman, however, that her
meal is an imaginary one and that she
is not forced, like so many actors. to
smile and look pleasant over stage
banquet that is enough to turn the
stomach of an ostrich.
Audiences watching the stage meals
that are apparently SO much enjoyed by
real cause of the alacrity with which
stage people leave stage table.
1t is because, these feasts are left to
the tender mercies of a Creation of the
| Evil-One known as the Property Man,
and because it depends entirely on this
worthy, whether the food and drink
| provided shall be fit for consumption or
| otherwise.
| draughts of nothing from empty COB
| let's, nowadays when realism is demand
| ed. there must be food on the plates,
liquid in the glasses and the actor must
/ really eat and drink.
This rule is all right enough in the
metropolis, but on the road the troubles
| begin, for it is then that the Property
Man gets in his deadly work
| Mr. Nil1ia E10Y,sr bo 90
| this genius in his company, who besides
being Property Man was also a
Dutehman. He combined the Unborn
devilishness of his calling with the nat
ural observation-disclosures of his race, and
take him all in all he was hard to beat.
Bill, his name was Bill, had to fur
nish the nightly feast for the play of
"Dreams. A simple enough business,
for Mr.. Edouin carried the chicken,
property bird with detachable arms and
legs, and all Bill was called upon to do
was to furnish some bread, apples and
lemon soda. For this he received
nightly allowance of twenty-five cents,
and it was the belief in the company
that Bill used to pocket this munifeent
fee and secure his repast from the
kitchen refuse of the dollar-a-day
hotels at which he stayed.
Member after member complained to
Mr.. Edouin, but each was treated with
small consideration. The star was not
called upon to eat in the play, only to
drink the lemon soda, and he insisted
that the members of the company were
full of fads and fancies.
As a rule Bill was particular to get
lemon soda for his star. but on one
occasion when the company were doing
their best to appear to eat the stuff Bill
had provided, they noticed with delight
that when Mr. Edouin, as the "Grand-
father pulled the cork out of the
stage champagne bottle, a whitish
smoke issued from the bottle. and with
it a weird odor that permeated the at
mosphere. They forgot the horrid fact
that they themselves must taste the
mixture whatever it was, in the joy of
knowing that the star was bound to
drink it too-and that for once some
thing had gone wrong with the lemon
soda.
Without appearing to notice anything
out of the way, the star filed glass
after glass with a thickish liquid that
smelled like fermented cider.
Mrs. Edouin, who was ever ready for
fun, noticed something was wrong, and
leaned forward across the table.
"You are going to give us treat to-
night, Grandpa" she said; "don t for
get yourself.
Mr.. Edouin looked severely at her.
Interpolating lines meant a fine of five
dollars, even for his wife, and waving
his hand so that he could hold his FIVE
fingers up to her as a sign that she
would be fined, he proceeded to fill his
glass. The bottom of the bottle was a
little thicker than the rest, and as Mr.. |
Edouin poured the liquid from it
several flies appeared floating in his
glass.
This was too much for mischievous |
Mrs. Edouin. Spreading out both hands |
as a sign that she didn t care if she had |
ten dollars worth of fine, she sprang |
to her feet with new Interpolation.
ga bumper, Grandpa she cried, |
shaking the gray curls she wore as
Grandpa s wife. 81 demand that you
shall first drink a bumper to the health |
of the old wife who has stood at your
side for more than fifty years.
The house appIauded, and there was
no help for it, Edouin, with murder in |
his eyes, was obliged to drink the awful
draught. his saucy wife keeping up lit |!
tie cries of Drain it! To the dregs!"
till it was gone.
Then before anyone could take breath /
Edouin vanished. "I hope Grandpa /
isn't taken ill., said the wicked lady, |
but ere the words were spoken the star
returned dragging after him the aston
ished Bill, who, dressed as country |
lout, was ready to drive the sleigh in
the next scene.
"Here, motherl" he said; "here e
someone who wants to drink your |
health too;" and. Selling a bowl. he
drained the contents of the bottle into |
it, and then deliberately emptying all |
the glasses into it, handed it to Bill.
''Drink that, my lad" he said, |
cheerilv. "and if you leave a drop |
you III be discharged!' adding at the
same time under his breath: "That s |
dead earnest. It's full Of flies and
reaches. and it NAV be poison for all |
know or care: but if you don t drink it |
up I'll never take you out Of this
town.
Bill drank it. Then he disappeared
with a promptitude that must have be-
hrrf a