davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Lincoln and tho Bald Head.

In 1864 Lincoln was greatly bothered
by the well meant efforts Of certain
good northern Iuen 10 bring about II
termination OF the war. An old gentle.
man from Massachusetts, very bland
and entirely bald. was especially per.
sistent. One day when this angel OF
mercy had been boring Mr.. Lincoln for
half an hour, 10 the interruption OF I'm.
portnnt business, the president sudden
u rose, went TO closet aud took out
Of 1t q large bottle. did you ever try
this remedy for bnldnessf" he asked,
holding up the bottle before his aston
ishcd visitor. The man was obliged to
confess that he never had tried It. Mr..
Lincoln called n servant, had the bot
lie wrapped up and handed 1t to the
bald philanthroplst. There" said he,
go and rub some of that OH your head.
fersevere. They say Il will make the
hair grow. Come back in about three
months and report" And almost be-
fore he knew 1t the good man was out
side OF the door with the package un-
der his arm.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20

II aud those who, having much to say,
say II not: ergo-lf you would appear
dangerous. be dumb
Men show their greatest weaknesses
III their letters; ergo-haYe your CORE
spondencs edited by secretary.
When man speaks of you behind
your back as Il fool. II means that you
have disagreed with hlu OH some point
at issue; ergolf you want his good
opinion agree with his, but stick to
your own
When YOU give n man advice. let /,
be an encouragement OF his own Incll.
nation; ergo when your advice is
sought first find out what the seeker
wants TO Go. then agree with him: II
lie succeeds. you get no credit; IL lie
falls. lie must bear at least part of
the blame.
A man isolated may be an arrant
knave, but In the crowd he appears
honorable; ergo-lf you dou't waut
Your sins to be found out keep In the
procession.
Men deliberately do things they are
ashamed of aud then are ashamed to
mention them; ergo-never do what
you want to do, but the opposite
New York Press.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Nevertheless He Got Her.

"You say my daughter loves your"
questioned the old man.
I'm sure of It," replied the young
man.
well, WELL" returned the old man,
looking the young man over critically.
There's no accounting for tastes, is
there?'
And somehow, although the young
man knew that he ought to be happy
over the possession of the girl, he
couldn't help scowling and Specializing
on that remark of the old mans.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Slsters In Moderation.

Tommy is lonely little boy who has
no brothers or sisters. He is very fond
OF three little girls named Ethel. Maud
and May. One evening his mother was
listening TO him say his prayers, and
she was rather surprised to hear him
add TO his petitions, Dear Lord, please
send me an Ethel. a Maud and n May"
After he had finished his mother
tried TO explain TO him that they were
too poor to have n large family like
that. Tommy listened attentiyely and
then without word Topped down on
his knees again and offered up this sup
Elementary petition:
Dear Lord. mother says we can't
afford an Ethel and Maud and a
May, so don't send 'em in bunch.
lust send us an Ethel, and when we
can afford the rest I'll let you know
l.ippincotPs.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
powor of peeaixinn

There is Brooklyn woman who pos
sesses servant who is model in all
respects save one-in that she IL none
too truthful.
Lately the mistress has been using
all her eloquence to make Nora see the
error of deceitfulness. But at last she
had to own herself beaten when Nora,
with n beaming smile. turned and ia
most cajoling tone said:
Sure. now, mum, an wot de We SUD.
pose the power of desavin' was given
us fer?"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
THE QUIET LEE.

THE QUIET LIFE.
Happy the man whose wish and caro-
few patcrnal acres bound.
Content TO breathe his native air
4 In his own ground.
Whose herds with milk. whose fields with
bread.
Whose fiocks supply him with attire.
whose trees In summer yield him nhade:
i In winter. FIRE.
Hest who can unconcernedly ind
Hours. days and years Slide soft away
In health of body. peace OF mind,
Quiet by day.
Sound sleep by night. study and case
Together mixed. sweet recreation
And Innocence. which most does please
With meditation.
Thus let Inc live unseen. unknown.
Thus. unlamcnted, let mo die.
sieai from the world. and not u atone
Tell where lie.
= popo.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
A compromise.

A private soldier was taken to the
guardroom for being intoxicated. lie
became excited. Sergeant, I'm
drunk" he asked of the "noncdn" in
charge.
"Yes-take of your boots" was the
reply.
But excuse me, sergeant" he de
linquent continued, 81 ain onS half
drunk"
Very well. thcn-take one bot orr
said his superlor.-London Scras.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
We Wanted to Know.


Edward had just returned from for
cign service. and his brow was trou-
bled.
II gave you that parrot as n birthday
present, did not. Amella?" lie asked.
Yes, but surely, Teddy. you are not
going to speak of your tokens as IT,
ut was young and speechless at the
time"
Yes" with increasing wonder, land
1t has never been out of this parlor."
There are 10 other young ladies in
this houseY
"No. there are not"
Then why-wby when k-kissed
your photograph in yonder album
while waiting for you did that wretch
cd bird initiate your voice and say.
Don't do that, Herbert; please don't"
Ladies' Home Journal.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Easy Enough.

A noted mathematician stopped at a
hotel In small town. There were Il
number OF drummers on hand There
was also meeting or some medical
men mt the place, who used the hotel
MS headquarters. One OF the doctors
told the mathematician that some OF
the NJ. DIS had concluded to kidnap
him and take out his brains TO learn
bow 1t was lie was so good In mathe-
MATES. lie was asked by them what
he was going 10 do about 1t. He re-
Piled. Why, shall simply go OH with.
out brains just as you doctors are do
ing"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Tho Insult Direct.

An English country squire gave his
tenants supper and dance. After the
feed he noticed that certain farmers
wife was disconsolate. On being inter
rogated she said: "Wcll, sir, was
never so insulted in my whole life as
| have been tonight. Why. young
chap comes up to me after supper and
says. says he, I suppose by this time
your programme Is full and. believe
me. sir. l had had nothing but the wing
OF chicken"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
- The
Scrap Book
DiHieult tho First Year Only.

Look here. Old chappie." said a
young man about town to youthful
benedict of his acquaintance. I'm 10.
ing 10 be married, and for the life Of
NE don't know what 10 call my moth
erln-law Can't say 'mother-in -law.'
You know. and mother would he too
uencedly ridiculous. What did you
.oT'
Almost forgot. Think III ostly said
say the first year"
Yes, and afterward?"
ooh, then it was easy. We botir call
ed her grandmamma."
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Tho Teachers Joke.

In school in Springfield, Mass. the
lady teacher had occasion to punish
one OF the little boys for using pro-
fame language. There being a knothole
in the floor. she conceived the idea to
make him think he had got to stand
near by with pair of tongs and watch
until he caught rat that should come
up from below. Stationing him, she
gave him strict iDtunctions to remain
until he accomplished the feat, calcu-
lating. Of course. after lie had stood
there couple of hours to send him
to his seat. Two minutes after he
fastened the tongs to genuine live
fellow Of the rat kind. with enormons
whiskers and tall, and, holding him up,
exclaimed. by jings, I've caught him.
The teacher tainted.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Ergotisns.

Ergotisms.
Father, son. grandson. your broker
begs you to buy or sell this or that
stock; ergo-he makes his eights and
quarters whether you win or lose
Without trying 10 make enemies you
r=e universally hated; ergo-you must
have some merit.
You have u very devoted friend IN
Blank; ergo-you have borrowed moth
ing OF each other and asked each other
no fayors.
There are two kinds of silent men
those who have nothing to say and say
----- i.st1i5,
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Marital Troubles.

Most of the people who write about
troubles of married life are single. II
they were married they would be SO
busy with their troubles they would
not have time to wrltc.-Moorhead In.
dependent.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
slapence Too Much.

An Irishman who had jumped into
the water TO save man from drown.
Ing on receiving sixpence from the
rescued man looked first at the six
pence and then at the man. saying,
BE tabbers. am overpaid for that
job"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
A Sickly Lot.

Il see by the paper" observed a
young woman TO a companion on an
elevated train in New York one morn.
Ing. that Mr.. Blank, the octogennrian,
is dead. What on earth is an octogena-
rlan anyhow"
IL don't know. I'm sure" was the
reply "but there's one thing certain,
they're sickly lot of people. You
never hear OF one unless he is dying
l.ipplncott's.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Peculiarly of Madnsaa.

Who can tell why It Is that 81 mad
houses the idea Of subordinaion is
very seldom to be found? Bedam is
Inhabited only by kings. poes and
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Messcngt.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Forced Out.

She-Mr. Bloom does not nav his
wife much attention, does he? He
No. THE Only time ! ever knew OF his
going out with her was once when the
cas- exploded.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20

Human deeds and human lies are
never understood until they ardfinish-
ed You can no more tell In dyance
how manhood will turn out thin how
= Young child Will grow up.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Too Poor to Lose.

Too Poor to Lose.
Several years ago southern Kansas
politician who had an excellent reputa-
ton for not paying his debts found
himself defendant in lawsuit He
employed Archie Williams. afterward
general attorney for the Union Pacific.
20 defend him. Williams won the case.
After the verdict was returned the poi
itician asked Mr.. Williams the am cunt
OF his fee.
ut is $500"
Great Scott, Archie That Isn't
enough. Why, you earned $1,000, and
you must make out your bill for that
amount"
mo won't do It," replied Williams.
~ am too poor man. Two hundred
Is all can afford 10 lose
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
BY Way of Deduction.

A detective had been put on an anon.
!mous letter case. The recipient Of
the letter said TO him:
THE thing consisted OF but one
short page, and yet there were eleven
words spelled wrong"
Then the criminal" said the detec-
tive promptly, was either type
writer or sign painter. Is there n
business directory handyi"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
Tho Me ek curate.

when DR.. Creighton was bishop OF
London" says the present bishop OF
London, che rode on n train one day
with small. meek curate. DR.. Creigh-
ton. an ardent lover OF tobacco, soon
took out his cigar case and, with n
smile, said, You don't mind my smok-
Ing, suppose!
"The meek curate bowed and an
swered humbly, Not II your lordsbip
doesn't mind my being Sick"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20
We thought at first we had it right,
But now we find we shall
BE forced to add another bag
To dig the great canal.

Revised figures upon the cost OF
building the Panama CanaI show n big
increase over the former estimate.
You'll find upon close investigation
that our figure of $3.50 per ton on
OUR RED ASH COAL needs no re-
vision It's just right considering the
high quality.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10

York last night. On the side Of the
money market there we're many con
yincing evidences of the effective re-
Mobilization already effected there. SO
active demand for commercial paper
has sprung up amongst money lend
ers that the uneasiness has subsidized
and no fears are any longer felt OF
embarrassment for any solvent bust
ness. Increasing offerings Of time
funds were reported az declining in
terest rates while borrowers were
showing disposition to hold Off for
still lower rates. Call loans were
not quoted higher than 51a per cent
and yielded from that rate. thus in
dicating the Increased facilities avail.
able for the conduct Of speculative
operations In the market. The market
and showed increasing
strength during the day and closed
strong and animated with gains fully
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10

| first installment Thereof is the sum OF
Fifty-Nlne Dollars and Seventy-Two
Cents ($59.72). and said installment
became and was due and payable on
the second day of January, A. ID. 1907,
and has been paid.
The second installment of said sup.
Elemental special tax is for the sum
iof Three Hundred (3O0) Dollars, and
the said installment became and was
due and payable on the second day of
January, A. ID. 1908, and is now due
and unpaid. The eight remaining In
stallments of said supplemental spec.
ial tax are for the sum OF Three Hun.
dred t300) Dollars each. and the same
become due and payable on the sec.
ond day OF January. A. d. 1909, the
second day of January, A. d. 1910, the
second day OF January. A. d. 1911, the
second day of January, A. d. 1912, the
second day Of January, A. d. 1918, the
second day OF January, A. d. 1914, the
second day of January, A. d. 1915 and
the second day Of January, A. d. 1916.
respectively. and each and all of said
nine installments bear interest at the
rate OF five 90 per cent. per annum
from the 3lst day of December, A. d.
1906. payable annually at the same
time that the said several instaIlments
become due and payable. respectively.
The combined amount of the second
installment of said original and sup
Elemental special tax is the sum of
Fourteen Hundred 0400) Dollars. and
the combined amount OF the eight re-
naming installments OF said original
and supplemental special tax is the
sum OF Fourteen (1405) Dollars each.
All persons interested are hereby
notified TO call and pay the amount
assessed. at the City Treasurer's Office
at the Alexander County National
Bank. No. SOL Commercial avenue.
in the city Of Cairo. Illinois. within
thirty 1907 days from the date hereof.
Dated this sixth day OF January, A.
d. 1908. s-UU
THOMAS e MAHOiSEY,
City Treasurer.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10
ks ; Bonds !. Cereals
VOLUME

DEMONSTRATIONS. There were var
ious factors In the days rise. Coal
|ers, for instance, rose vigorously,
buyers processing confidence inthe
action be taken by congress to defer
operation OF the Hepburn bill requir-
ing railroads to divest themselves OF
the ownership OF coal properties.
Operations Of this requirement have
been much dreded, as threatening, as
an extreme effect. possible total sus-
pension of the bureau by these com.
.panies. Speculation on this ground
centered In Reading and carried that
stock to the highest price 1t has
touched since August. Wide-reaching
assumptions were deducted from the
reported visit to Washington of J.
Pierpont Morgan and from remarks
of the financial prospect attributed to
the same person at dinner In New
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10
90 = = - ss~s wS = = - .
!. MOUND CRY !.
sssssasssss > ss.s -
January 9, 1903.

Mrs. Pleas Hardesty of America
was shopping in town Friday.
The aged mother OF Mrs. r. H
Peake on Poplar street is quite III.
Mrs. Robert Arnold returned Sat
urday from Paducah where she spent
a few weeks with relatives.
]. w. Dorsey of Holloway, was
transacting business In town Wednes
day.
Mrs. Will Pfeffer returned to her
home at Lebanon Sunday after visit.
ing her parents, Mr.. and Mrs. A. ].
Dougherty,
DIR. j. F. Hargan made a profes-
sional trip to East Cairo Wednesday
Mrs. Chester Mitchell of st. Louis
returned to her home Sunday after a
few weeks visit with her parents.
Mr.. and Mrs. VIM. Weisker.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joe Smith OF Cairo,
who have been the guests Of Mr.. and
Mrs. Lish Ashwortn returned to their
home Wednesday.
Mr.. and Mrs. ID. r. Aldridge are
spending few days with the formers
relatives at America.
Loren Boyle returned Sunday to
Nashville where he will resume his
studies.
Mr.. and Mrs. James Bolar left Sun
day for New York.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10
SPECIAL ASSESSMENT NOTICE.
Special Warrants No. 3.

Notice: Public notice is hereby
given that the county court OF
Alexander county. Illinois. has render.
I'd judgments for special tax and for
\ supplemental special tax upon prop
srty benefited by the following inn
provement: For the construction OF
4 vitrified tile pipe sewer and of a
'itrifed brick pavement In and upon
Ohio street, from the north line of
Eighth street to the north line of Four.
ieenth street. in the city OF Cairo. I'LL
lois, under ordinance No. So of said
city of Cairo. as will more fully appear
from the certified copies of the judg-
Snents on file in my office; that the
-rarrants for The collection of such
5 peeial tax are N the hands of the
Said or.shial special tax is levied TO
g paid in ten annual installments,
nd the amount Of the first Install
lent thereof is the sum Of Eight Hun
red and Forty Dollars and Five
'ents. l$S40.05D. and said installment
ecsme and was due and payable on
he second day Of January, A. ID.
BOZ. and has been paid.
The second installment OF said orig
nal special tax is for the sum of
lleven Hundred Q10O) Dollars. and
re said Installment became and was
ne and payable on the second day of
snusry. A. d. 1908. and is now due
nd unpaid. The eight remaining in
Ailments Of said original special tax
re for the sum Of Eleven Hundred
I1oO) Dollars each and the same
ecome due and payable on the sec
nd day OF January. A. d. 1909. the
scond day Of January. A. d. 1910. the
scond day Of January. A. d. 1911. the
scond day Of January. A. ID. 1912. the
econd day Of January. A. ID. 1913. the
sc0nd day Of January. A. d. 1914. the
- aeond day Of January. A. ID. 1915 and
ie second day Of January. A d. 1916.
sspectively. and each and all Of said
me installments bear interest at the
tie Of Eve (5) per cent per annurn
ON the 31st day Of December. A. D.
zoe. payable annually at the same
me that the said several instaliments
come due and payable. respectively.
The said supplemental special tax
levied % be paid III ten ANIMAL IN
ailments. and the amount Ct the
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10
.BuLL|SA ALL DAY
Was Sentiment In Wi1eat--corn Took
Rally After Beginning Weak
Oats Trade Quiet.

Chicago, Jan. 9.-WHEAT.-Opened
strong because of buying by shorts
based on the advance at Liverpool.
Sentiment continued bullish the en-
tire day, the market acquiring fresh
strength late In the session as a re-
suit of cash grain and export bust
ness. Reports from the seaboard
claimed so boat loads have been
worked for export. while advices from
the principal grain centers In this
country showed material gains in the
price of cash wheat. The recupera-
ton of the stock market also stimu-
lated the demand for wheat. May
closed 1@1M higher; No. 2 red 1O1Z
@103|; No. 8 red 100@100%; No. 2
hard 102% @10sN: No. hard 1908 a
LOG. May opened 1851 G1OsA: high.
est 1857; lowest 1864; closing 1Os%
July 80.
CORN-Rather weak early owing
to selling induced by reports from
the country that dealers were selling
corn more freely The forecast OF
warmer weather tomorrow and the
bulge In wheat. however. caused a
rally the last half or the session. May
closed kGA higher: No. 56AGK;
No. 3 white 81; yellow 5eK65 May
opened e0A d61: highest 61M: lowest
60ss a Y; closing 5I6h. July 5s%.
OATS-Trade extremely quiet
There was a good demand for cash
cats but business at the sample tables
was restricted owing to the scarcity
OF offerings. May closed a shade
lower. No. white 50d5s; NAV
opened 54ss: highest 54ss: lowest
SAX a q; closing 5z&61k. July 46H
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10
M|Ll|ly ADVANCED
Materially in Many Stocks---
Insiderable Animated Specuia-
ton Was Experienced.

New York. Jan. 9.-Speculation for
an advance took on considerable ami
nation today Dealings expanded de-
cidedly In volume and professional op-
erations to lift prices were conducted
with boldness and aggressiveness.
Misgivings which caused the setback
yesterday had been apparently over
come. The pronounced Improvement
in the money situation was held to be
OF sufficient calue to overweight coun-
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10
Information from abroad.

We learn from the Paris Figaro
that a clergymen's union has been
formed in New York which is demand
ing higher salaries. The movement
seems 10 be spreading. for we read
further: while waiting for the
American government to take the
proper steps, 40 pastors have already
fcnounced their charges in the state
Of Pittsburg.'
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10

FOR SALE-250 shares of $4,000
each, $25.00000 worth of per cent
preferred stock In a Cairo Tie and
Timber Preserving Co. will invest
a like amount In common stock and
guarantee the principle and interest
of the preferred. Positions will be
open at good salaries to purchasers
OF this stock for one good Office man,
one superintendent of plant and one
or two inspectors. all of whom must
be hustlers thoroughly capable. sober
and reliable. II you have $4,000 or
s25,0O0.00 to invest call at office Of
Dunbar Tie Co, room 10 First Bank
a Trust Co. Bldg. for interview be.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10
Guilt with = History.

A guilt exhibit at the Canton. Ne.
fair By Mrs. Carroll L. Hutchinson
contains a piece Of silk with his
tory. An ancestor Of Mrs. Hutchin-
son was once threatened with ship
wreck. The valuable property OF the
people in danger was all placed in q
cask with q note naming The owners.
The silk is portion of silk dress
which the ancestor in question con-
iributed to the miscellaneous contents
II the cask.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10
SPECIAL ASSESSMENT NOTICE
Special Warrants No. S.

Notice: Public notice is hereby
given that the county court OF Alex
ander county. Illinois. has rendered
judgments for a special tax and for a
supplemental special tax upon prop
erty benefited BY the following i'm.
proyement. For the extension Of the
present vitri6ed tile pipe sewer OF
twelve ll2D inches inside diameter,
now In West Twenty Eighth street
and terminating in the brick manhols
near the middle of Holbrook avenue,
in the city OF Cairo. Illinois. from the
westerly side OF said manhole to the
east line OF the right OF way OF the
Cleveland. Cincinnati. Chicago & st.
Louis Railway Company. said exten-
sion being for the distance Of seven
hundred and City t7so) feet. for the
.constmetlau Of nine co brick catch.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-01-10
ADVISED to See Real France.

c. "A. lie Neyen. In Modern Ian
guage Teaching. says: IF tourists
would go farther on into old France,
into the old provincial life. Instead of
remaining CHARTERED In Paris or some
other big. fashionable town. they
would really learn to know what
French is like. They would feel they
have wrongly judged us. and they
would acknowledge that French.
women are good wives. good mothers
and good friends"