The Washington herald., 1908-08-02

They were a sorry looking lot. indeed.
az they tried 10 escape the broiling sun
yesterday afternoon in the shade Of
clump Of trees and the great straight
shadow cast by the Washington Monu-
ment-
The most respectable-Iooking member
Of the trio seemed 10 be a native Of
France. He was well grOomed. his black
hair was trimmed after the latest fash
ion. his tail bearing an ornamental
tuft at its utmost limit The second al
though Of less pretentious appearance.
looked like q native Of Camden. y J. He
had red hair, was I'll kept. and evident
y suffered from toOthache- He was poor
but honest. The third member Of the
party was merely baby. In the eyes OF
the world He looked at the intruder
with the curious glance Of the innocent
and inexperienced. His ears bore the
marks Of 81 treatment. some one evidently
having clipped the major part Of them.
whether for better OF worse Is not known
at this writing. The little stub Of his van
ished caudal appendage was wrapped up
in a soiled salt bag and looked sanguin-
ary-
EavesdrOPper Hears Woe.
They were engaged in earnest converse
ton when they were discovered in the
Monument Lot. where they supposed
themselves safe from Einstein's horde Of
chssers and catchers.
Nine. Nonaiebags. nv mistress" said
the French-IooIing individual, has me
forgot when she go TO ze Newport cot
-age- Ze house ees closed Up. and 7 can
nevaire get uodings to eat am so weak
In my st0macks and I faint myself on ze
street dis morning when 7 hear one Do
lceman say TO his friend ze sweeper Of
ze streets zat I am crazy. Eat must be
shot, zat I must 80 TO ze Hotel a Ia Elm
stein. zat must be given treatment Ia
Oslaire- And I got much afraid and run
and run 10 get away from ze police and
ze small boy and Ze dog catcher and ze
messenger Earcon. who IS tres mauvais
7 get much thirst. and my tongue come
out Of my mouth one yard long and Z
was worried ze papieTs and les journals
what you call ze newspapers-wfn publish
ze whole afTaire and make me a disgrace
20 Nine MoHaiebags and ma belle
France
just Like HIS Mistress.
- NE4E AaAA-Ll-- A-lE 90 anu EdAlElE ana
thirsty and have ze very great hungaire.
just like my gracious mistress. Nine
Monaiebags. she ees sometimes very
tired and fatigue and thirsty and
hungraie- Dog catchaire does not both
aire her and Try 10 catch her with com
mon net and colored man grabbing ma
dame BY the neck and dumping her IN
the common wagonette and take her TO ze
Einstein tablissement for the asphyxia-
riOn of lives"
Cut Il out. Frenchy. cut Il out inter
Tupted the red-haired one from Camden
Dye know ye'rs paiavering too much2
You give NE pain in my tooth Talk
about yer fool people who t'ink every
mothers dog Is nutty because he chases
along de pike wid his mOut open and his
tongue dragging. 1 can tell you a story
dat'n make yer head swim. You and yer
Nine What s-her-naue are Of the tire
some set Listen 10 my tale 7 am from
New Jersey and ye cant beat US. dye
see? II you and your fine madam ever
Eot the toothache. ye could blow yer
whistle and sing 10 me. but all ye know
about teeth is TO I'll EN- up with gold.
Too Much for Science.
I've had the toothache for the last
three weeks. and an as cross as the old
boy himself Toothache is no Christmas
joke; it's not a theory: it's a stern re-
ality- and Mother Eddy can't explain IL
away I was trying to chew little bone
for my breakfast when Mike Kelly. my
neighbor's little boy. come along and
tried 10 kick the bone away from me
How'd you like it, Guess not. and no.
body else, He didn't hit the bone. but he
kicked me right In my bad tooth I was
wild with pain and simply let him have IT,
/ bit him IN the leg. AID you never heard
such a yelling IN all your life
In less tine than II takes 10 bite a
tough dog catcher the whole of South
Washington was after me. Well they
couldn't get ahead OF me. know every
alley and court and got away from
them al shit. all right. They shot at
ne. they yelled mad dos. and traffic
was stopped for over an hour
His Troubles Multiply.
DO 7 look Ike a mad Goz7 Wen I
guess aber nit But I tell you. I never
had such rotten toothacbe; it's enough
10 make anybody crazy Then I caught
piece Of glass in my toe. and If you
think that's the joy Of ones life yer
education has been sadly neglected
I run'd fast too" said the baby purp.
as he tried 70 caress his stump. from
which the tail had been amputated only
a few hours before 7 don't got no
toothache, but my tail is awful sore. I
cried because Il hurted when that col
ored man bit the long end OF my tail OF
and kept f. On. Il hurted so much. and
I cried and 7 run around myself 10 see
what was the matter with nv tail Then
al TO cEce I stopped running around my
Seif ard run out OF JlIe hI~k ysrd I live
right over there, an I cum over here be
cause nobody can't find me here. I heard
AIr. JOhnsOu-that-s the name Of nv boss
say TO Mrs. johnson that I was the
craziest pUrp he ever seed He went in
the house TO get a gun. heard him say
20 Mrs johnson. and I sneaked out of
the gate when she wasn't looking. Don I
you let nobobdy bite your tail on: II hurts
worser than teethacnes
I tell you" said the French poodle
dandy 20 his colleagues. the yellow mon
Erel from Camden and the purp from
FoEgy Bottom. let US all take a plunge
IN ze Bathing Beach and prove TO ze
whole world and ze dog catcher and
Monsieur Einstein zat We are not 50
crazy as zey zink We are
Horses Differently Treated.
7 seen a horse run away interposed
the Camdenite. and kick de buggy 70
splinters and rrOw de man and de vom-
an out on de curbstone, and run ov a
big. Fat policeman. and smash de show
window in a drug store. Did anybody
say dat horse had de hydrophobia2 Guess
not Did anybody want to take dat horse
10 M Einstein's emporium and choke
him i-ro era-rfr,-1 Guess -of s.rT 80,