davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-11-27
Humor ana Philosophy
By DUNCAN n. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

There may bI
s o N e sOrrOws
that money can
not buy, b u t
t h ey ar e q s
scarce as those
that money can
not cure.
A woman who
has money to
b ny everything
she wants inva-
riably begins to
w mt to find
something that
she wants that
she can't get.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-11-27

BY THE J. w. POTTER CO.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-11-27

TERMS - Daily. 10 cents per week
Weekly, 81 per year in advance.
All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious. must
have real name attached for publica-
tion. No such articles win be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
township In Rock Island county.
AubE5ND
[IKApEsl Gsset co9Nc!Ls 50
lEeTG
Friday, November 81, 1908.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-11-27

Continued on Page Nine.)
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-11-27

New Disaster.
It's bad enough to burst tire
In skipping here and there.
But 1t Is worse to break a wing
While sailing through the air.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11
HOTEL ARRIVALS.
Hotel st. George.

z. E. McMillen and wife, Hermis-
ton; G. L. Shuster, San Francisco; M.
H. Lloyd, Chicago; Cert Horton, Potr-
land; Fred Olsen, Minneapolis; H.
Clayburgh, Chicago; ]. Peters, Port
land; F. F. Carpenter, Spokane; NJ.
H. Gillett, Echo; A. W. Duckworth.
Syracuse; J. A. Allison, Sam Lee,
Portland; A. ]. Dayton, Portland; B..
f. Horder, Haines; E. F. Zimmerman,
Portland; Ada Allen, Rockford; Will
liam Dunn, A. r. Kerringauy, ]. I.
Lawry, c. H. Gritzmecher. C. c. Berk-
eley, oPrtland; ]. w. Foos, Walla
walla; o. V. Robbins, Tappinsh; w
c. Cross, Denver; Fred A. Linallen,
Pilot Rock; A. T. Leach, Portland;
0. T. Robbins, Tappell A. A. Hale,
Portlnand; VIM. Laugenbach, Canton,
W. r. Frey and wife, Couer d'Alene;
E. Cohen. Omaha; Geo. o. Fielder,
Omaha; n. R. Zewton, st. Louis; P.
Med. Fuller, Portland; s. A. Armis-
tead. Portland; o. L. Lemmlnger,
Elkhart, A. w Morriott, w. z. Bran
shaw, oPrtland; L. Hmans, Kansas
City; Mrs. Brainder,s Hermiston; f.
P. Mahappey, ] r. Knodell, E. H.
Burke Portland; o. F. Whitcourt and
wife, Seattle.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11

livered the invocation and there was
cordial greeting from Andrew Car
negle. Secretary OF state Root made
an address, special cabled messages Of
congratulaton were read by Senor Ma
buco, the Brazilian ambassador; Senior
Calvo, minister OF Costa Rica; Senior
Cruz, minister of Chile, and Senior
Godoy, charge d'affairs of the Mexican
embassy.
In the cornerstone was placed a
hermetically sealed box. This contain
ed among other things, copies of the
Washington newspapers, a copy of the
official journal of the Bureau of
American Republics, an engraving
and autograph of President Roosevelt.
autographs Of the presidents of the
Latin-American republics and of their
diplomatic representatives in Wash
ington, and a number Of other arti-
Giles.
The building of the Bureau Of
American Republics will be among
the costliest and finest structures in
the national capital. It will house the
offices and museum of the Bureau Of
American Republics, an institution
which was founded II years ago, at
the first Pan-American conference
held in Washington in the winter OF
1SS9-1S90, and presided over by James
G. Blaine. The original object, as then
nf LIT
American republics better acquainted
with each other and Of exchanging in
formation about their respective re-
sources and trade.
II never, however, had the complete
support and interest of the United
States. or of her sister nations, until
Secretary of State Root made his
memorable visit in 1906 to South
America. The third Pan-American
Congress, assembled in Rio Janeiro in
that year, passed strong resolutions in
favor of reorganizing the bureau. and
outlined the plan TO make 1t a world
recognized institution for the promo
tion Of the commerce and comfy. The
new home of the bureau will be COM
pleted some time next year. Its cost
will be approximately s1,OOO,0OO. of
which Andrew Carnegie contributed
$750,000 and the several American re-
publics about s250,OOO. The old Van
Ness Park, which was acquired some
time ago for the purpose, will afford
almost five acres of ground for the
building and its surroundings, and 1t
will have a frontage of about a square
on the White lot on one side and an
equal frontage on Potomac park on
the other. The building will be en-
tirely of Georgia marble, from the
Marble Hill quarries one Of the rich
est in the state.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11
CEMENTS BOND Of RELATIONSHIP
BETWEEN UNITED STATES AND SISTERS

Washington. May Ito the many
memorable events OF the past year or
two which have emphasized in for
NAL. but none the less real. way the
development OF closer relations OF
friendship and commerce between the
United States and her sister republics
OF the new world, must be added one
other. the laying Of the cornerstone
for the office building Of the Bureau
Of American Republics with solemn
ceremonies this afternoon. This is the
building which has been designated as
the Pan-American peace palace, ana
toward the cost Of which Andrew Car
negie contributed three-quarters Of a
million dollars.
The cornerstone laying was made
notable by the presence of the pres
ident Of the United states and many
OF his cabinet by the representatives
OF the South and Central American
governments, by the supreme court, by
the senate and house OF representa-
tives and a large proportion of Wash
nigton's population.
Great attention was paid to the care
and comfort of the thousands who
were accorded an opportunity to wit
ness the exercises and to listen to the
address of President Roosevelt. The
central location made the scene of the
ceremonies within easy access of all.
Flags and bunting were everywhere
and the colors of the various Ameri-
can republics were profusely display
ed. stand after stand was provided
and high above all the other vantage
places was the presidents box, which
was large enough to accommodate the
diplomatic representatives of the
South and Central American coun-
tries.
Palms and growing plants were
there and the faint touch of the new
green of the trees shading off into the
richer green of the park made an in
spring picture. To this add the
flags of the various nations and the
bright scarlet uniforms of the Ma
rine Band and the picture is COM
rlete.
President Roosevelt, accompanied
by Secretary Root and Director John
Barrett, Of the Bureau of American
Republics, arrived comparatively
early. When the president came into
view of the imense audience a roar
of kindly welcome greeted him. I'M
mediately after the arrival of the pres
ident the numerous other dignitaries
who were to figure prominently in
the ceremonies, put in an appearance.
The address Of President Roosevelt
was. of course, the chief feature of
the ceremonies. Cardinal Gibbons de-
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11
DOWNWARD COURSE.
Fast Being Realized by Pendleton
People.

Fast Being Realized by Pendleton
People.
A little backacAe at first.
Daily increasing till the back is
lame and weak.
Urinary disorders quickly follow;
Diabetes and finally Bright's dis
ease.
This is the downward course Of
kidney Ills.
Mrs. Laura Mcclure, living at 1913
Madison avenue, La Grande, Ore,
says: 81 have used Doan's Kidney
Pills off and on for three or four
years and the best possible results
have always been obtained. Any over
exertion or the contraction of a cold
often served to bring on backache
and at such times by kidneys would
be weak and 1 would be greatly an
noyed by dizzy spells, I would be
restless and nervous and as result
of the loss of sleep, would artist in
the emorning feeling tired and worn
out. Learning of the merits Of
Doan's Kidney Pills, 1 procured box
took them according to directions and
they relieved me at once. have
kept them them in the house since
as 1 have the greatest confidence in
them When I feel any Of the at
tacks coming on I Immediately resort
to Doan's Kidney Pills and they never
fail to give the desired results"
For sale by all dealers. Price 80
cents. Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo
New York, sole agents for the Uni
ted States.
Remember the name-Doan's-.
and take no other
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11
Golden Rule Hotel.

Alice Gagnon Hermiston; Ruber
T. Day, Helix; n. r. CLANCY VIM.
FRAZIER, City; Roy Peirce, Walla
walla; j. A. Hawks, Nolan; NJ. B.
Behney, Portland; Mr.. and Mrs. g. Fl.
Blanchard, City; W. Engelke, r. w.
Pickard, Portland; Virgil Kays, For
est, Idaho; r. ]. Moore, Portland;
Frank Otis, Pasadena; W. King, U. s.
r. s: c. T. Kan, Portland; A. r
Harala, David Kauffi. John Heff-
master, Havana Ill; Ed. Jaffney, B.
Weber, w. F. Halderman, Fred Tay-
lor, Portland; David Peebler, Stage
Gulch; G. V. Daniel. Denver; W
Landers, Chas. Severn. w. Fox. Har-
vey Sullivan, Roy Hinkle. H. w
Hingley, NJ W. Hawkins. Portland.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11
THE SECRET OF sExINE PILLS.

There isn't any. Their wonderful
effects are simply the result Of a
scientific combination of the best
remedies that are known in medi-
cine for the upbullding and rejueven-
ating Of tired, weak and worn men
and women. They act on the blood
in such a manner that the user is
soon imbued with new life and hope
and happiness. Price 81 box, six
boxes IS. fully guaranteed on the
money-back plan. Address or call
the Pendleton Drug Co. This is the
store that sells all the principal rem
edies and does not substitute.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11
WHEN WAS TAFT BORN?

+ There was born to Teddy" 1
= Roosevelt and Virginia." the 1
+ noted camels of the Far East.
4 so long used on the Desert OF 4
Z Sahara, in initiating prominent 4
+ Americans into the mysteries of 1
Z the Egyptian fold. baby camel 1
4 which has been named Taft" 1
4 by H. H. Tammen, general 1
1. manager of the Sells-Floto Cir 1
Z Gus, in honor of Hon. William 1
+ Taft. Secretary of War. The
: birth occurred the evening of I
Z March 23, 1908. after the winter 1
Z quarters of the Sells-Floto Cir 1
q Gus at Venice, Cali, had been I
Z Closed to visitors,
Z Exactly at Midnight. I
= On what day was Taft born I
Z March 23 or March 24?. Taft I
Z will be at Pendleton Saturday, I
. May 80, with the Sells-Floto Cir I
: Gus, rain or shine.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11
Notice to Public.

Having disposed of my Implement
store in this city. all parties knowing
themselves indebted to me please
call and settle their accounts.
FRED WEBER.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11
Stock Pastnred.

Stock taken for pasture. Good run
ming water and no barbed wire fences.
Any number taken; prices reasonable.
Address "E. S." this office.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11

DeWitts Little Early Risers are
small, safe, sure and gentle little pills
Sold by Tallman & Co.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11

Baker City is to have special cleo
ton one week from Monday to vote
upon an amendment to the city char
ter.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11
Wanted, at Once.

Good clean rags; market price paid.
East Oregonian office.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-05-11

Fine store and office room for rent
East oregonlan building. Enquire
this office.
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01

off balloons, and they would teach us
how to fly. Gee, but that was nuts
for us. To rise, at once, from being
mule drivers and adopted boys. to
place in balloon society, was what
we wanted, and my chum and 1 de-
serted our more or less happy homes
and began to plan to jump a freight
train bound for St Louis.
We laid down on the platform of
the station that night and went to
sleep and l dreamed that / sailed
across the ocean in a balloon, and
landed in park in Paris, and when
the populace came to welcome us to
dear old France, pa was one of the
first to see me, and he fell upon my
neck, and when the people were going
to give me reception and a cross of
the Legion of Honor, for being the
first to cross the ocean in a balloon.
pa told them / was his boy and pa
wanted to take all the credit for my
grand achievement, and when l woke
up a watchman at the station kicked
us off the platform like we were
tramps, and we walked down the
eAoSho anu WtiC oo ihdu we u
throw stones at the switch lights, and
my chum wanted to put tie on the
track to wreck train. but persuad-
ed him that it was that kind of re-
venge that caused the enmity between
tramps and the richer class. Then
he wanted to set fire to a tank car
of kerosene. and If | hadn't been a
pretty good citizen there would have
been bonfire sure, but l showed
my chum that we were only temper
ary tramps, and that in a few Gays
we would achieve success, and own
railroads, and that we should show an
example of patience, and strive to be-
come members of the four hundred.
So we refrained from getting even,
and Rockefeller was not kept awake
by hearing that another tank car of
oil had gone skyward
We were pretty hungry. but tight
ened up our belts and pretty soon a
freight car stopped on a side track
and brakeman came along with
lantern and gave him the last half
dollar had and told him we wanted
to land in st. Louis, and he looked
over us and pointed to car. and we
hustled in and he locked the side
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01

platform for the attendant can be
moved up and down.
This apparatus used to be described
as model of an up-to-date labor saw
ing device, but actual working models
seem to have been extremely rare in
this country. The writer in all his
journeyings never saw one in use.
When making a trip through New
York state some years ago he was
taken by poultryman he visited to
see one of the curios!ties of the locali-
ty, a poultry plant long out of use,
which years before had been elabor-
ately fitted up by wealthy man OF an
inventive turn of mind. interested In
poultry and especially in the develop
ment of artificial methods AT this
place we saw one of these contriv-
ances. said to have been imported
long ago from France. 1t was stored
in one of the numerous outbuildings
on the place. and was in sections
which apparently had never been put
together.
In its other features this plant has
been developed along the lines one
would expect In man of the charac-
teristics of its owner. Everything was
on an elabG-ate scale. There was an
incubator which must have had q
capacity of more than 5000 eggs. and
there were brooders, arranged in shelf
like tiers under sash. on the principle
that young chicks, like tender plants
would thrive in hothouse. The fur
nishings besides being on an elaborate
scale, were of expensive construction,
probably representing in the aggregate
sum most poultrymen would con-
slider n fortune.
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01

For young pigs or calves. consider
skim milk worth more per hundred
pounds than any grain or meal until
an age is reached when heavier feed
is required, then the odds are In favor
of the grain.
There is nothing better to my knowl-
edge that can be fed with skim milk
than plenty of grass and finely ground
oats for pigs, and whole oats with a
little bran for calves. A little oil meal
with feed for both calves and pigs is
a great help, and don't forget a very
little salt In each feed.
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01
tcopyright, 1905, BY W. G. chapman.)

There is not much fun in being an
orphan until you escape from the Or
phan asylum, and | want to say that
my chum and myself have had two
red letter days in the town where we
seemed to drop out of balloon into
the hearts of the country people.
They took up a subscription to buy
clothes for us, and dressed us up, and
We looked as though we had been
clothing dummies in front of cloth
ing store. and then the people got into
a quarrel as to who should adopt us.
A farmer drew my chum and wanted
him to get acquainted with some
mules and drive six mules to haul fer
tilizer on the farm. My chum had to
sit on a saddle on one mule, and
drive the other five mules by using
one line. which he pulled and hauled
TO make them gee round grand right
and left.
The fat woman adopted me because
7 was such a dear Stle thing. She
vas one of those hay widows, whose
husband got plenty of her sauce, and
ook to the tall timber, and all she
wanted to do was to hug me, and tell
ne that If l had not dropped into her
ife, out of that balloon. she would
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01
SKIM MILK FOR PIGS
by A. o. RaIner.

have had good success with pigs
put on separator milk and finely
ground oats at six weeks old; feed
a little at a time, but often. Too
heavy feeding of skim milk will scour
pigs. have never fed any skim milk
from the creamery, and If Obliged to
do SO don't think that l could face a
calf or pig when / offered 1t to them.
l never tried feeding dirty milk.
always feed direct from the separator
with animal heat in 1t.
AS far as growth and fat production
Is concerned. separator milk is Just
as good as whole milk II the proper
amount of oil meal or something sim
liar to keep the bowels regulated and
to take the place OF the butter fat,
10 fed with the milk
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01
(CopyrIghi in Great Brliain.)
Dy HON. GEO. w. PECK

several times. and The balloon was do
ing its best to keep up, when | yelled
TO the men in the balloon: why don't
you throw out your anchor?" and they
then seemed to recollect about an an
chor, and they threw Ct out, and when
1t caught fast in the ground the mules
pulled loose from the wagon and went
through fence, and started for Texas.
and guess they are going yet. My
chum got OFF all right. except he was
so scared he could not stand up. Well,
We had time Strengthening things
out, the farmers wanted to lynch the
balloon men, and make them pay for
the mules. but in rolling up the bal
loon to take to the station, to ship
to St Louis, / found a mail bag. and
told the farmers these balloonists
were carrying the United States mail,
and any man that laid hands on the
government mail could be imprisoned
for life for treason, and / scared the
farmers so they gave the balloonists
their dinner, and hauled the balloon
to the station with the whole bunch
of us, and when the balloonists went
away on the train they told my chum
and me that If we would come to ST.
Louis they would give us jobs carrying
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01
Was Consistent.

A customer in Boston market
bought quarter peck of apples. She
watched the dealer closely as he
picked out the fruit
Either put in another apple or take
one out" she said when he had emp
tied the apples into a bag. There are
13 there, and 1 am not going to in
vite bad luck by carrying home that
unlucky number"
The dealer looked up shrewdly
Il can't very well throw in another
one for that price," he said. Apples
are high"
Very well. then, take one out" said
the woman. Il make it point when
buying anything in small quantities
this way to count the pieces, and never
under any circumstances will | accept
13 of anything"
According to instructions the deal
er distracted one of the finest apples
in the bag and the woman went away
apparently satisfied.
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01

have kicked the bucket, and I thought
of how any bucket l ever saw would
have collapsed, for she had foot like
fiddle box.
She made me tell her the story of
my past life, and when she found I
was Peck's Bad Boy, and / thought
had made my story so sanguinary that
she would want me to go away, so she
could have quiet life, she just froze
to me and said she could see that she
had been selected by Providence to
take the badness out of me, and she
went to work hypnotizing me, and
giving me absent treatment on my
meals, to take my strength for wicked
ness away, and then she got me so
weak / could not hug back when she
squeezed me, and you can imagine
the condition a growing boy would be
in who could not do his share of the
hugging.
The second day of my sentence to
be her adopted son, with all my
crimes on my head, she let me go
out on the farm to visit my chum, and
there is where my whole new life
changed.
My chum was driving his mules
around the farm, and l was riding be-
hind him on the wheel mule, when a
balloon from st. Louis came over, and
the men in the balloon yelled at us to
grab hold of the ropes as they wanted
to land in the field. The mules began
to act up and my chum couldn't con-
troll them, and I jumped off the mule
and grabbed the rope and gave it
hitch around the pole of the wagon,
and that settled it with the mules
They rolled their fawn like eyes
around at the great gas bag that was
swaying over the wagon. with the two
men yelling, and the mules started to
run, with the wagon and the balloon,
around that field, the balloon striking
the fence occasionally. and tree once
in a while, the men yelling for us to
cut the rope, and the mules braying
and saying mule prayers. and me
chasing along to try and cut the rope,
and my chum hanging on to the ears
of the wheel mule. and the farmers
rushing into the field from every d.
rection to stop the mules, and the
men In the balloons using the worst
language.
The mules had run around the field
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01
Superstition.

This is a fine place to study the
superstitions of the crowd" said the
elevated ticket chopper. "Two-thirds
of the couples who pass through the
gate are brimming over with supersti-
tion. 1t shows itself in their fear Of
separating and walking on different
sides of the post. Good looking, edu-
Gated people are afraid of that.
"'Well quarrel says one-usually
1t Is the woman who says 1t, or IL two
women are together they both say
1t at the same time. We let that post
get between u.s.
Then, If they are badly bitten by
the bug, one goes back and passes
through on the other side. SO az to
obviate the danger Of q nareup."
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01
Economy.

u have Just read story of an eco--
nomicai farmer that Mr.. Rockefeller.
Jr., had been telling to his Sunday
school class" said Higgins. "He says
there is farmer out near Cleveland
who makes fad of economy. Every
time he drives into town he carries a
hen with him tied to the seat OF his
buggy. A friend who rode out with
him one day was curious to learn the
use of that hen. so he watched care
fully, and found out. When at neon
the farmer lunched under a tree. he
gave his mare feed from nosebag.
and tn hen, placed on the ground,
ate all that the horse spilled from the
bag, so that there was no waste at all"
Good story" said Virgins, "and
true. too. know that old farmer. Mr..
Rockefeller didn't say where he got
his lunch, did hep
NO" said Higgins, "the story stops
there"
1T was the egg the hen laid under
the buggy seat on the way out" said
Wiggins.-H Harper's Weekly.
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01
He Changed Vices.

The Colonel had demonstrated vigor-
ously with Uncle Eph about the old
darkey's persistent excursions into the
state of inebriation.
Uncle Eph. though he promised
faithfully to refrain from frequent dips
into the flowing bowl. failed to live up
to the Colonel's expectations.
On numerous occasions the Colonel
saw Eph under the influence Of liquor.
but the darkey. when taken to task.
stoutly denied the accusation, affirm
ing emphatically that he did not drink.
One evening the Colonel met Uncle
Eph in condition which made 1t
plainly evident that the darkey was
caught with the goods on"
"Eph." began the Colonel. seriously.
81 thought you told me that you had
given up drink"
"Ah sho' did. Massa Kernr; ah sho'
did, replied Eph. But lately ah took
up drinldn' an glib up lyin.' '"-Harpers'
Weekly.
The Elbert County tribune., 1908-10-01
Odd FattenIng Device.

Illustrations of this particular kind of
fattening apparatus were frequently
seem" With the same purpose in
view we pass 1t along. If 1t does not
prove suggestive. it will at least prove
interesting.
The apparatus is designed for the
special fattening of poultry, and is de-
yised to save time and labor of the at
tendant. and to accommodate as many
birds as possible in small space. The
cage for the birds revolves. and the