The Columbus journal., 1908-02-26

Know u III, even II you nave OSo0 "
college. and I just want to tell you
again that II Old Bob was chipping his
horse 1t the same time that the old
COW was pulling her foot out of the
swamp. Why, you just wouldn't be able
% hear the old cow-that's ALL"
"But. ny dear girl"
"Doa't you call me your dear girl!"
But. Gertrude! Listen! Listen to
reason! I love you dearly, but let the
basis Of our love be reason! That Il
the only enduring love! Nov, when
Old Bob chips his horse. how does
he make the sound. With his lips?
Very we'll. now let ~ say that Old
Bob's mouth II three inches wide.
Let - Ven say It u four. and that
when he chirps he presses his lips
together until the surface of contact
= four inches by one inch-a total Of
four square inches. Now. on the other
hand. here's the COW"
Il just don't care! When Old Bob
oAirps his horse"
Just one moment please. Now
hefe's the GOV and we'll say that her
hoof b three inches in diameter or.
Gay, nine iaches in circumference.
Let - also say that Il is three inches
high, - when her foot Is in the swamp
thers ID . total contact surface Of q
square inches - against Old Bob's
four"
That makes no difference. When
on Bob chirps his horse you can"
~O1 oourse It makes . difference.
And wAea You take into consideration
he fast that the COW has 80 much
more strength than Bob. and that her
loot b q such shape that 1t lends It.
sslf most peculiarly and particularly
- he production Of . loud, chipping
sound, Why. then. my dear"
"Doat you calf me your dear!"
"But. Gertrude. your stand II %
HtdicuIous!"
She licked At him with . face like
10.
Fur the last time" she coldly cried,
Fl ~ that It sounded like Old Bob
when h. ehirps his horse"
He gazed hack ct her like . man who
= beiag sorsly tried. but who viii die
0or hi coovictioas.
And I say" he ~ coldly answered.
that Il sounded like IN old COW pull
tAg her foot out Of Q swamp"
Il warn you now" she cautioned
Ain, and with The air Of one Who nres
Q last shot over a snemy's bow she
snslalmed: ODD Bob"
Il cannot help H." he decisively an
swsssd, and with the aspect Of . man
naAiAg his eoloes to the mast he
eleoehed his teotA and returned: 'Old
cow"
'Oad Bob she cried.
"Osd cow" he firmly responded.
'O1d Bob"
'0ld eow!"
Bob"
Govt"
Bob"
Cow"
She slowly took OF his ring and
slowly gave Il to him. averting her
head suddenly and sobbing: "C-g1go!
G7g-1o! I can never be yours!"
But, my dear girl! Gertrude! Ny
love! Listen to me! You must listen
to ne!"
Il want yoa to gg-go away" she
sobbed. We could never be Unhappy
togother and I want you to g-g1eo!"
But. Gertrude-couldn't you zee
that I that I was only joking."
She lifted her fearful face from her
handkerchief.
Couldn't you e how absurd my ar
gunents were!" he cried. why. of
course Old Bob chirps to his horse
louder than IN old COW pulls her foot
out Of . swamp! OF course he does."
He took her hand, solemnly replaced
his ring. pressed her to him and as he
OAve her another loud one she closed
her eyes IN ecstasy and murmured to
herself over and over again:
20. I can twist him around nv III.
To 0ngeT! o. I can twist him around
ny little 1nger!"
Broasoa-What makes you think ~
Will have a opea Winterf
Wee1soa-Ny VITO has just pur
chased aa expeastvo set Of furs.-
ledge.
The Cars Heir.
The Russian imperial children lead
Q beautiful outdoor life, for the most
part It TsarskoeS elo. always with q
poWeff1l guard of soldiers and secret