davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05
LIES ABOUT THE FEET.

"I don't see why people always lie
about their feet, said the shoe clerk
as his customer departed after giving
him bad half hour. II don't mean
on the size of their foot, for it's only
natural to wish to have, or, rather,
to make other people think you have,
small feet. But why a great, burly
man with his feet nubby with bunions
should insist that his shoes never trou-
Bile him and that he never has any
trouble in getting fit is beyond me.
Why, if 1 put an ordinary shoe on
such man he would cuss with pain,
and he knowsit. He knows also that
l have to hunt around until find
some freak shoe that will fit his mis-
shapen old foot but all the time he
declares that he never has bunions or
corns like most people. Women who
seem to be sensible enough in all other
ways come in here and declare that
they do not know what corn is,
when they vince with pain every
time 1 touch their little toe. When
they are forced to declare that the
shoe hurts in one spot or another they
insist it is because their feet have a
shape peculiarly their own. Some
times they will admit they have lit
tie calloused place, but corn, oh,
dear, no Sometimes in thin, light
weight shoe can fairly see the corns
punching out under the leather, but
/ have to say automatically that the
fit is mot good, or that the customer
has a peculiarly sensitive foot or
some other nonsense, if want to
keep their trade. IN Y. Press.
THE preacher was eloquent, the
congregation patient, and the discourse
very long. A stranger entered and
took seat in back pew. Present
1y he whispered to the man at his
side, evidently one of the old men,
bers F.:
Chow long has he been preaching?"
"Thirty or forty years, l think,
answered the elderly man. 81 don't
know exactly"
"I'1l stay then, said the stranger !;
''he must be nearly done. "
WELL, dearest, I'm going to ask
your father FOR your hand tomorrow.
"Oh, I'm so glad, George! l was
afraid you didn't have the courage" !"
"I've got to do it. It's one of the
election bets l lost"
THE man who gets his price seldom
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05
CHURCH RELATIONS OF THE PRESIDENTS.

The Christian Ad0Ocate contained
an interesting editorialon "The Presi-
dents of the United States, Z" in which
were grouped many valuable facts,
concerning the age of each incumbent
on assuming Office, his nationality,
his vocation and occupation after
leaving Office, and his church relation
ships. 1t may be of interest to pub.
lish the statement of the church rela-
tionship of the men who have occu-
pied the Presidential office.
George Washington was member
of the Church of England, which after
the Revolution in this country was
modified into the Protestant Episco-
pal Church.
John Adams was Unitarian.
Thomas Jefferson was a Free
Thinker
James Madison was a Protestant
Episcopalian.
James Monroe was also an Episco.
palian.
John Quincy Adams was a Unita-
rian.
Andrew Jackson was a Presbyte-
rian.
Martin Van Buren was communi-
cant of the Reformed Dutch church.
William Henry Harrison was an
Episcopalian.
John Tyler was an Episcopalian.
James K Polk, though he affiliated
with Presbyterian congregations at
an earlier period, was Methodist in
sentiment, and at later time was re-
ceived on profession of faith into the
Methodist Church, South.
Zachary Taylor was an Episcopa-
lian.
Millard Fillmore was a Unitarian.
Franklin Pierce was an Episcopa-
lian.
James Buchanan was Presbyte-
rian.
Abraham Lincoln had great SYM
pathy with the Methodists and often
attended their churches, but he affili-
ated with the Presbyterian body as
to congregation, though not a COM
municant.
Andrew johnson was not church
member. but his affiliations, as far as
he had any. were Presbyterian.
Ulysses Simpson Grant always at
tended the Methodist church. He
was never a member of the Methodist
Episcopal church, but in his last days
was baptized by DR.. Newman.
Rutherford Birchard Hayes bore a
relation to the Methodist church SINH
lar to that of President Grant.
James Abram Garfield was MEM
Der of the Disciples Church.
Chester Alan Arthur was an Epis-
copalian.
Grover Cleveland was the son of a
Presbyterian minister and always an
attendant of the Presbyterian church.
Benjamin Harrison was a member
and lay officer of the Presbyterian
church.
William Mckinley was a member
of the Methodist Episcopal church.
Theodore Roosevelt is communi-
cant and member of the Reformed
Dutch church.
President William H. Taft is
a Unitarian.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05
HOW TO TEACH TRUTHFULNEss.

Teach the truth by being absolutely
truthful. You have sharp little eyes
in your home, seeing more than you
imagine, and ears that drink in every
word minds that think over all that
is done and pass judgment on all; so
be very careful. If you make prom
ise, however small, to your child, keep
it faithfully. In this way does your
child learn to be man of his word
in after years. Do not give too many
orders, but when an order is given be
sure that it is obeyed. Never permit
child to tease you into anything.
If it can have what it requests give it
at once, but if it is "No," then stick
to it. But consider it well, and do
not say mo" when it might just as
we'll be "ves."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05
HIS MISTAKE.

Bunsen was always great kidder.
He isn't any more.
Bunsen is lawyer, although, of
course. he is known by different
name. Don't ever get the idea,
though, that this didn t really happen
Just because Bunsen S real nomination
isn't mentioned.
As we were saying, Bunsen used
to be pretty much of kidder. He
would even kid his own patient little
wife. Those who care to read on
down little farther will learn why
he ceased to be ki6der.
One evening last week when Bun
sen got home his wife had new hat
to show him. 1t was some hat.
Anybody could have seen that it was
the final phrase in female headgear.
But Bunsen started in to make fun
of it. He said it looked as if it had
been trimmed by cross-eyed milliner
on an empty stomach. And he made
a lot of other disparaging remarks
that were extremely harassing to poor
Mrs. Bunsen.
"D'ye buy it sight unseen 7" he
inquired. "Say, how much do they
pay the girl sold you that? She
ought to have raise. Any girl who.
could put that one over a customer
must be something of a smooth sales
lady, I'm here to remark"
Mrs. Bursen was almost in tears.
Bunsen had to go into the other room
to have quiet laugh at her expense.
Oh, he was the great kidder, all right.
The next day, though, he had for
gotten all about the hat.
The day after that he was reminded
of his little jokefest. Mrs. Bunsen
handed him slip of paper when he
came home to get his victuals that
evening. 1t was bill for retrim-
ming that hat ; sIS. "a it came to.
Bunsen paid it without a murmur
and said the revised edition of the
hat was just exactly right. He isn't
making fun of hats any more.-Cze0e-
land Plain Dealer.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05
For 1.-THE UNION"
THE POETS OREAM-T0 MISS ]. o. Fl.

BY GEORGE E. TACK.
Beside lake,
Whose wavelets break,
In endless songs of joy and glee,
/ live in dreams.
And hopes whose beams,
Shed glamor Der the days to be.
A cottage sweet,
Whose windows greet,
The morn's bright beams with blushes deep,
Stands by the shore,
Where evermore
My love and I our trysts shall keep.
Where winds soft sigh,
And evenings sky,
CLOVIS sweetly as the daylight dies,
My sweetheart fair,
Will greet me there,
With tender love looks In her eyes.
Our little boat,
Will gently float,
Ger waters cleaned with mystic light,
And drifting slow,
Wen onward go,
With joy into the starry night.
Where music sweet,
With rythmic feet,
Trips DER the ripples, laughing low,
Well linger while
The bright stars smile.
And night winds sigh or softly blow.
The winds may blow.
And colder grow,
Until the lake is crystaled DER,
And SHOWS may fall
And cover all,
Our cottage, we will joy the more.
The seasons drear
Will bring glad cheer,
And watt us on to seasons bland,
And some day, we,
Meath life's fair tree,
Shall sing for joy, still hand in hand.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05
SIGNS OF APPROACHING AGE.

They were arguing about the signs
of approaching old age.
"Well, I'll tell you one thing"
said one. "When a girl ceases to
take lively interest in you and doesn't
mind your seeing her hair slightly
untidy and listens to your conversa-
ton indulgently, where formerly she
manifested interest and sympathy
then you may know you are growing
old"
"No," said another. "That isn't
an infallible sign, becausesome young
women show interest and sympathy
to everybody. It's when your bones
creak slightly on arising from chair
and you no longer swing on moving
car with full confidence and you walk
up "a fight of stairs step at time,
where formerly you ran up two at a
time-then you are growing DID,"
"Not So" chimed in a third, for
young people with rheumatic diseases
sometimes exhibit these sigps. When
the early eye-opener and the night
cap become a necessity instead of
luxury, when the workings of your
liver come to be of more Importance
than the affairs of your heart-then
you are growing DID,"
"You are all wrong" announced a
fourth. "When in pulling on your
trousers in the early morning you are
compelled to gain the support of the
bedstead when you slip in the other
eg-then-then-you are growing
old"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05
POWER OF HABIT.

"The habit of looking under the
bed for burglars" the young woman
said, ''is something that folks laugh
at, but have never been able to get
myself out of it. I never feel per-
fectly comfortable unless I look, no
matter where I happen to be. To my
mind, there isn't any place except a
safe deposit vault burglars are unlike
ly to be.
"In fact, the habit is so strongly in
grained in me that one night, when I
was staying in small country hotel,
where there was nothing but folding
bed in the room, 1 took it down and
then looked under it before got into
bed. That's a fact. 1 laughed at
myself the minute after"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05

"WAsN'T that young Mr.. Tiff who
left the house as 1 came in?" asked
the judge of his eldest daughter.
eyes, papa"
"Did l not issue an injunction
against his coming here any more?
Eyes, papa, but he appealed to a
higher court, and mamma reversed
your decision"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05

AS two little girls were eating their
lunch one said, ri wonder what part
or an animal chopis. Isit the leg!"
stOf course not, said the other; "it's
the iaw.bone. Haven't you ever
heard of animals licking their chops?"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05

SIx-YEAR-oL Rays teacher was
endeavoring to give some very sim
pie instructions in fractions. She
added, eff Jane has six eggs and
uses half of them to bake cake what
part will she have left?'
Quickly came the answer, "The
Shells"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05

"DID you have any adventure while
you were abroad, Mrs. Comeup?"
"Oh, yes. In Italy we were in a
hairbreadth's of being held up by the
bandolines, and in Switzerland we
came mighty near falling down era
vat. +"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05

A YOUNG lady who had been i'll
wrote to her fance in a distant city:
"Dea, One-Your birdie has been
very, very sick. 1t was some sort of
nervous trouble, and the doctor said
I must think of nothing, absolutely
nothing. Dear One, how much l
missed you. 1 thought only of you,
and now am we'll again"
After reading it the young man sat
for long time silent.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05

GA YOUNG man has telegraphed
me that he has just welded my daugh
ter"
"Ihope he'sa good, practical man."
"I guess he is. He wired me col
lect."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05

WHEN you find good husband,
the women nearly always say:
"TIis wife does not care much for
him."
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05

GRoUcHLY-Times are hard, my
dear, and we will have to economize.
Mrs. Grouchly-Very we'll, I'll be-
gin by discharging the cook.
Grouchly-Do you think that ad-
visable?
Mrs. Grouchly-Sure. You won't
eat half as much if I do the cooking
myself.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05
HIS ONLY CoNUNDRUM.

The old pilot of the little steamer
Maid of the Mist, which used to carry
passengers quite up to the foot of the
falls of Niagara until the mist from
the falling waters drenched the cloth
ing of everyone on board, used to per-
petuate one solitary conundrum each
trip. 1t always commenced and end
ed the same.
Moving his hand along the sides of
the pilothouse and examining the
woodwork minutely, he would look
up mysteriously and remark:
say, stranger, do you know what
this boat is made Of ?"
"Made of? Why, pine and oak,
isn't she?'
'No, sir"
"Hemlock 7"
"No."
"Tisn't cedar, is 1t ?"
1'Oh, no -
And then the old pilots eyes twin
kled and his mouth whistled crazy
tune.
well, iron perhaps?"
"No."
"What in thunder is she made Of,
then 20
"She's Maid of the Mist, stranger /;
Maid of the Mist"
Then the pilot accepted his morn
ing cigar.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05
VOL. SO. WHOLE No. 2291.
Second National Bank
TOwSOlI, Md
BETTER "BANK IT"

eywhyo s
OF someone yhoIdy u
That either Your mouse
III OIL erObbe
will be tou
ldoubTe skeepit t all
daIyo
10 it,
$ a
J..
CASHIER
THOMAS w OFFurT HENRY G. LoNcNEcKER,
ELMER COOK WM A. Lee 4 nowAhD sAAo
HARRISON CHAs H. KNOX, NOAH e. OtFoTT'
JoHNIY GILL
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05

DRIVE prejudices out by the door,
they will re.enter by the window.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-12-05

THE man who gets his price seldom
wins the public's applause.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-07-23
SPECIAL ATTENTION.

RrSSoiifanS mist mak| a Oong GnG
rigorous campaign ant |hCf upon rah o,
Mr 'sa~niy committees The b|sf talent ~
hc patty in raM 6anship a.d nu,d.
THE men elected sAOnhd M these 'ah0 are
energetic. A6isr and sTRiham and aho
dIr possessed IF mnf'7ng industry and
capacity 10, Political avIA. W, <rti,r
llb,5r II Mr nl,1r o'g0"i:afion rests ,pon
Nh hausAir amt au,d a,mmiM r,ndn
GAldMrfai1y demands hr strongest man
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-07-23
Feeding Grain to Dairy Cows.

Agrea! many questions are asked this
time N year as to wheatlier it pays to
Iced gram to cows while at pasture. II
is u fact that a larger amount, Of milk
can be secured from a COW il she is fed
n little grain while op PASTURE, but the
question is, will TIE increase in milk
How pay for the amount Of grain fed.
As long rs the COW is producing trot
over n pound Of butter per day l, is nos.
sible for the necessary foud 10 be secured
from the pasture. Vt cannot be expect.
ell that any COW will produce VIE sse
one hall TO two pounds Of butter per day
OH pasture alone. II the rows freshen
n tie spr'ng. then daring tLeir full Aox
of milk. produce AZ much a. the amount
stated above. 1t would I've the proper
thing to feed a hid. grain ~li.e VI pay
ture but u they fresl,en in the fall they
soald tie too far along in their .n,lE iuy
period 10 increase the hUw Of milk
enough 50 ~ TO warrant the feeding OF
grsin. IN case there j. not plenty of
posture 1t vii! always pay I, o iee,! SOME.
thing 90 keep UP the milk Hpw. For
this puIy"'sr other green feed nigh, he
obtained ~sich would be cheaper than
Tie graz rather Than to allow the milk
production 10 lecliHe from the lack OF
;""d' Wien grain i. reQuirsl j, is found
that corn can Ne used w the urircipal
feed. II the corn Is fed no, to. sxceed
four ~ 1--we pounds pr day ia Ad EDITION
to pasture, (" is as effective asany other
grain. tH' when more than this amour,
0: grain IS needed it would h. well to
use other feeds in addition a. com, ,ucl,
% ban. oats. oilu,eal aEj other ecx,-
u;on feeds.
Ore result Of feeding .qsAis &c cows
wh'Is 1t pasture which 10 Dsyisn ovrr.
looked. 1that c0Wj Which ,hssr be.uHc
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-07-23
COMMENTS.

The primary election for the nomina.
tion Of persons to be vo,ed for in Novem.
her will be held on Tuesday, August 4th,
1908. aud At the same time the commit.
teeman from each township and ward
will Ike chosen. Your attention is par.
ticulsr invited to the following suxges-
tions.
/. Names Of the candidates for the
position Of township or ward committee.
man will not he printed upon the ballots.
2. A blank space upon the ballot will
be provided ia which the voter may
write his choice for township or ward
committeeman.
). This blank space must be filled by
the voter by writing therein the naine Of
the person whom he desires shall be
chosen.
I. Only one member Of the county
committee eau be selected from each
township in the county, OF ward in the
city. aud III the city only when the ward
Is recognized as . political subdivision
for the the state aud county election pur.
poses.
On Friday. the 9TH day Of August.
zoos, the township committeeman thus
elected shall meet AZ a county committee
at the county seat and organize by the
electiou OF q chairman, secretary and
treasurer Of such committee.
6. The chairman, secretary and treas.
urer MAY or MAY NOT 81: members OF
the county committee.
7. On Tuesday. August ll,h. 1909
the chairman Of the several county com
i~ittces shall meet and organize
At such point in each district a.
the then chairman Of the congressional
Committee shall designate and proceed ,o
ELECT ZONE OF THEIR NUMBER" a.
chairman Of the congressional commit,
tee. The secretary and treasurer may OF
may not be chosen from the membership
Of the committee.
8 Al this meeting Of COMPRESSION,
al committee shall proceed 10 name ;w'
quail fed electors Of such district as mem
brrs Of the patty state committee.
y. The members OF the state committee
thus selected. 'thiry.two in all (no pro
vision for committeeman At large shall
meet at the state capitol, At jefferson
City. ~ noon on Tuesday, September s
lGB. The members Of the state commit
tee shall at such meeting select q chair
man. secretary anil treasurer, WIG
MAYOR MAY NOT RI: MEMBERS
or TIT STATE COMMITTEE.
10. .fhe members Uf the state com
inittee a%afi NEE, with the party nomi
nees for h;ate Offices. congressman, tat,
senators. Representatives, and forthwith
formulate as state platform for thei,
party snd..nnke public the same moi. bate
than six O'clock in the afternoon OF til,
following day.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-07-23
GET BuSY-.=LET'S WIN.
no THE MEMBERS OF THE RE.
PUBLICAN ORCANIZANlON OF
MISSOURI:
(,ESTI pMrA.

FtbilAhN Of
MISSOURI:
GENTLEMEN:
ruder the provisions Of
the primary election law u new method
Is provided for selecting members of the
county. senatorial. judicial and congres.
Nonal committees and also tie sc.
lection Of the members Of the state
~cnm,aittee. The provision Of the law
applicable to the selection Of the men,
hers Of the party organization is IA fol.
lows:
Sec. IS. A. the August primary each
voter may write. in the spaor kft OH his
ticket for that purpose, the ANT Of one
qualified e,ector of the ward o. township,
AS the case may be, for his ward ct town.
ship committeeman, ami TIE M,e having
the highes, number of votes in such ward
aud township shall be the member Of the
parry committee Of such county, sn,i
each COUNTY committee composed Of the
various ward aud township committee
shall meet at the county s~at Of suci,
county on the first Friday 'AfttT'the said
August primary and organic by the
election Of q chairman, secretary and
treasurer Of such committee and the
chairman sotS'ccs~ii.of each couuty' eon.
'r~'it'ee, shall by 'vittse 'tkereoi, 'beco.he
a niesrher Of :she party congressional,
senatorial and'uudicisl eommit,ee' of the
district of wbieh iis county s'slpstt
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-07-23

- % ~ dseiiss - ssesaiy II sitk ~.
Assuss lsrisgA Ssrtsdo shsst Ssssssa.
1his ssssis SuSiy ssssstAa ~ ssa0s,s
WSleA hsss tssn - gspis WAiis - -.
ssrssnisss1 SsfDsss 01Dssiai
- <Ae ~, whtcA oa1 b draws ~Ssa
- ~seA <es ScsAudss mia ashss
NatolsO q stsst esel.
G. n. acEl11.
Ne. Agriculture Axpednese otaaisA
Coiw1nbiA. NJ.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-07-23

Ssssi1sA tAss U ssy sseA Sasssssisssi
SistsSee sAail seosiss Vhsljy - sss ssss.
y. thss he osoisss q Ne essasy esa.
mites - sseA ossnty ShAii essseitsee
tbs esssssaissAi easlnksss q sueA iis.
tnet. SveA cdn1yesdessl csaoitsse. -
'esnpsssd q the vsHsxs cssssy ohsldWes
a SseA district. sAsij Dset ss-petss.
O tscA ~casrsssisssi district, 1ssgsst.
q - the thea ehsirosa a Tie c6agvss.
sssssi es1alsiee. - The seeond Tuesday
n August after such Ssi1asy eieetios
ssd who - net. shsii ssgsnise ty tie
electisu u sse Of iss aeabess - chair.
nss q such committee. and BY elecsisg
. secsesRy ssd t~rsasures. aud shall
then proceed : o e~o qssii6ede lsc-
,sssvof such district - membess Il the
party state cem.tstee. which stase CON.
uittse being composed Of two members
from eseh c~ougsessiousi district IL he
state. shall meet st noon on the seooad
Tuesday - September st the stste CAPT.
toi ssd organize BY the election Of .
chairman. who shall be chairman Of the
state coHaitsee. and by the election Of .
secretary snd treasurer Of such committee.
and after having 90 organized shall meet
with The party nominees for state o~fices.
Congressman. state senators. their repre-.
sentatives. and forthwith formulate .
state platform fos their party. ssd make
pubiic The same os& later than O'clock In
the sftesnoou Of the following day. The
provisions Of this section " far as con.
s~istent. shall apply to cities that are de.
vided into wards for election purposes.
and when the word county 10 used It
shall apply to cities that are divided into
wards for election purposes. and when
the word couu&y Is used 1t shall apply to
such cou,mittee by wards, 80 far as ap.
applicable"