The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1908-04-15

GI USED TO !STY AND HOLD THAT WlDDEhs
HAND In THE MOONLIGHT"
for the last six months. For why?
Because Jim was courting a widder
woman.
ssI am living with my fourth wife, as
4 told you the other night and not one
of them was widder woman when
married her, but I've had some little
experience. with widders jest the same.
a widder woman is wife whose
husband has died and left her free to
play the deeil with men for ten miles
around.
4She hain't sure whether she wants
TO marry ag'in or not. but she is sure
that she wants teImake fool Of
about twenty men before she does it.
IA widder woman Is like spider
! in a web. She is waiting for victims
to come along.
'She's steel trap set on sheep
trail. You are slouching along and
thinking Of nothing in particular when
you suddenly put your foot in it, and
there you are.
"A widder woman may not have
smiled at her husband for year pre-
yious to his death, but four weeks aft
erward she's uttering and giggling
with tin peddler.
1She may have fallen down in a
faint when they buried her husband,
{ but the next sewing machine man that
came along found her singing.
Yes, In my courting around court
ed widder women as well as the other
kind. I thought it might be jest as
well to find a widder with a farm
and plenty Of live stock as to take a
woman with nothing but what she
stood in. I found that widder. There
was hundred acres of land. good
house and barn. and the horses. cattle,
sheep and hogs made my mouth wa
ter.
.T didn't let on that I'd come court
Ing. I was In the tombstone business
then, and told her I'd called to see
shout stone for her husband. de-
scribed the one I'd put up for my wife,
and when we got to telling each other
how lonesome we was we both agreed
we'd never marry ag'in.
That's where We both Lied and
knew we were lying.
She Shed Tears.
"Tl1e widder shed tears as she talk
ed Of the many virtues Of the late de-
parted, and Of course I told her that
what was her loss was his gain. That's
always a good thing to ring in. She
said that If ever I came that way
ag'in she'd be happy to have me call.
and down in her heart she knew that
I'd be back in about three days. was.
I made the excuse that l wanted to
buy cow, and she pretended to be
awfully surprised to see me, but both
Of MS were lying ag'in.
.That widder woman drawed me Oh
in fifty different ways, but mostly by
tears when she spoke Of the departed.
I never saw tears in her eyes that /
didn't want to put my arm around her
waist and wipe them away. She said
that man was an oak tree and women
only willer and that it was natural
. for the willer to want to lean ag'in
the oak. She pitied me in my loneli.
ness, and I pitied her, and at last 1t
got so that I dared to swat skeeter
that had settled on the back Of her
neck. Say, now, I jest as much calker-
lated to marry that widder as 1 do to
get quart Of molasses in this jug
after the mail Is distributed. After l
had courted her for six weeks l had
no more doubt Of her saying yes than
I have that Hiram Baker over there
ought to be ashamed Of the old hat
he's wearing.
zone day I decided to settle things.
drove over, and she had the same
smile for Inc until begun to talk bust
ness. Then she said she guessed ID
made mistake in the house and hint