The Prescott daily news., 1908-10-23
WAS NOT THANKFUL
MIR. COOLEY FAILED TO APPRE'
 CIATE WIPES EFFORTS.
Of Course She Meant It for the Best, But Her Liege Lord Thought the Remedy Worse Than
 the Disease.

My neighbor Cooley suffered good deal last winter from rheumatism Tn his breast, and his wife was badly frightened about it for fear it should end in consumption. Cooley could not be induced to try any remedy for the trouble, and Mrs. Cooley was nearly worried to death about it. At last she determined to try strategy. She made dry mustard plaster and one night while he was asleep she sewed it upon the inside of his undershirt, so that 1t would just cover the rheumatic place.
 Cooley dressed himself in the morn ing, wholly unsuspiciOus of the pres ence of the plaster, and went down stairs. At the breakfast table, while he was talking to his wife, he sud denly stopped, looked cross-eyed, and spasm of pain passed over his face. Then he took up the thread of the con- versation again and went on. He was in the midst of an explanation of the political situation, when all at once he ceased again, grew red in the face and exclaimed:
 q wonder what in the No, it can't be anything wrong"
 Mrs. Cooley asked what was the matter, and Cooley said:
 70, it's that internal old rheuma. tism again; come back awful. But never felt it exactly the same way be fore. Kinder stings me-
 re CnO1nx, coiJ ho
 Then MT. Cooley began again, and was just showing her how the ravages of the grasshoppers in the west, and the potato-bug in the east, would af feet the election by making the people discontented, and so likely to strike at the party in power, when he sud. denly dropped the subject, and, jump ing up, said:
 Thunder and lightning! what that? Ouch! O, Moses! I feels if l had shovelful of hot coals inside my undershirt.'
 Must be that rheumatism, getting worse" said Mrs. Cooley sympatheti- cally.
 70, gracious, no! It's something worse than rheumatism. Feels like burning into my skin. Ouch, Ow. wow-wow It's awful, I can't stand it another minute. l believe it's chol- era. or something, and I'm going to die!"
 Do try to be calm, MT. Cooley
 Calm! How can man be calm with volcano boiling over under his shirt. Go way from here Get out of the way, quick, while go upstairs and undress. Murder-r-r-r-, but it hurts Let me get out, quick"
 Then he rushed up to the bedroom and stripped off his clothes His chest was the color of boiled lobster; but he couldn't for the life of him tell what was the matter. Then his eye rested upon something white on his shirt. He picked up the garment and examined it. Ten minutes later he came slowly downstairs with a dry mustard plaster in his hand, while thunder clothed his brow. ..
 Going up to Mrs. Cooley, he shook the plaster under her nose. and said in suppressed voice:
 Did you put that thing in my clothcs?"
 '1 did it for the best John," she said, 1 thought"
 "Oh, never mind what you thought You've taken the bark clean off of my bosom, so I'm as raw as sirloin steak, and I'll probably never be well again as long as I live That lets you out. You play no more tricks like that on me. Now, mind me-"
 Then he slammed the door and went out. Mrs Cooley doesn't know to this day exactly what effect the grasshop pers are going to have on the cleo, ion N w. Weekly.