Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-02-27
ADVICE TO
YOUNG Men

Take the girl, after she has been
well whirled around a brilliantly light
ed room some scores Of time to
Strauss, Sousa and Herbert, to Sc
cluded corner of a moonlit veranda
Turning your face so that the moon
light falls across it with good effect,
look up into the sky and observe:
ut is very lovely!" I have often
studied this with the "spot light" on
the stage, and know that it causes the
eyes to come out we'll.
In almost whisper she is bound to
reply, Beautiful" for she cannot help
noticing your fine profile blanched
into delicate marble, and your large
eyes looking almost like twin Mars.
Then sigh as you remark: "This
time tomorrow l shall see the moon
shining on the Hudson from my lone
ly abode in town." Look for shade of
disappointment on her beautiful face;
however, continue without the shad-
oW: Yes, must go back to the Office,
the daily grind; it would not do for
poor devil like myself to have too
long spell of happiness; it units one
Tor the work-aday world again.
Now heave go H. P. sigh. After re-
gaining your breath pursue as follows,
and observe all the directions l give:
Yes; l must go back to the grind
stone. (Slap your forehead hardy 1
shall think-(put the very quint-
essence of saddened melancholy in
your voice)- shall think (place
hand on back of the settee) tomorrow,
when see yonder light, of this place,
OF this hour, naturally, (let your voice
tremble and remove hand), and of
something mean some one who
some one else"
She won't answer; so keep right on.
The following speech should be
mer lied and recited before a full
leng,- T glass. Be sure to be letter
perfect in it. No gestures are neces-
sary; just straight talk:
There are some days, Miss Golden
rod, which we think of at times as
forming GASES in our life's desert My
week end at this house has been one
to me. There are hours, too, hours
when tears rise in the heart and gather
to the eyes almost involuntarily and
feeling is stronger than speech-its
very intensity depriving us of giving
expression to what-to what the heart
would fain utter. Have-have I your
permission to call this hour mine :?
May | think of it, in after days, as
shall think of it, oh, how often-may
l then think of it as mine?"
Keep your ears open for tremu-
lous whisper to the effect that You
may" You should say, "Thank you,"
or God bless you!" and it is natural
that you should take her hand in
yours to give due force to your words;
natural enough, too, that you should
hold it there beyond the time neces-
sary to give it a gentle squeeze.
Let the moon play an important part
in the impressive silence that will
follow the aforesaid squeeze. In the
atrical parlance, let the moon "do the
leading business" and hold the CEN
ter of the stage for a brief moment
Now, are you ready?
Miss Gold-Gwendolen for this
once-(passion must ring in your sun
burned throaD-I cannot bear this
longer. l anow how weak it is; but
cannot cannot help myself. Gwendo-
len, Cor whatever her name isl, do
" u not see that | love you? Forgive
me my weakness, pardon it as spring
ing-as springing from the strength
of my love. | did not mean to have
Cling, unsuccessful-G always use
author" but you may chance to be
a bank clerk or real estate broker)
author, the penniless, disappointed
artist who has seen the dream of his
ambitious youth fade and die away
under the blighting influence of-of
bastard enemies, leaving him almost
without a hope, how could such man
ask you to share his lot?-a lot not
on Fifth avenue, a lot not even 25 by
100? Ay, even though he saw in you
the realization of his ideal, though
since he has known you his thoughts
have known none else; even then he
could not tell you this. The very
pride which has been the chief OBJ
stacle to his success in life prevented
him. This foolish weakness, which
made him forget his purpose for the
moment, your noble nature will for
give, l know Goodbye, Miss Golden
rod l had rather not face the peo-
pie inside just now. Goodbye! Good
bye! Will you think of me sometimes
when in after years, when-when-
when you are happy, and Twill you
think of me then as one sho staked
his all on a vain hope which his sense
of honor babe him give up, though it
was to drive him forth again into the
world a soulless vagabond? Goodbye,
summer, goodbye! Goodbye for ever!
cannot stay in New York, for 1
might see you in the autumn, and it
it-wouldn't do, you know"
You will require a short rest after
delivering these lines. You will find
the hand that lies in yours quite pas
sive Look in her face and you will