davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1908-05-08

pected to declare for Bryan have
rejected instructions for him, and
in the past few days there is very
evident and decided drift away
from the Nebraska hoodoo. Be
side johnson, Grey and other leaders
ART. seriously discussed, and if the
present anti-Bryan drift continues
two weeks longer his nomination by
a two-thirds vote of the convention
will be rendered impossible. The
eleventh hour advent of johnson
and the discovery that the calamity
of more Bryan may be avoided has
heartened and encouraged progress
sive democrats everywhere, and
they are now putting in their best
ticks to bring about his final down
fall.
The republicans have taken the
view that anybody could defeat
Bryan, but with the changing con-
ditions they are beginning to sus-
pect that it may be necessary to
nominate their strongest possible
candidate. This has had the in
evitable result of increasing yet
more the demand for Roosevelt, as
being the only man who can certain
ly defeat any possible candidate
whom the opposition can name.
1t is continually affirmed that
Roosevelt is the only man who can
certainly harmonic and unite all
elements of his party, and also Sc
cure the independent and some
considerable democratic vote, and
as a matter of political eXpedieney
and sound common sense the de
mand for him is unanswerable.
Final adjournment is yet tenta-
lively fixed for a date not later than
the 10th. The weather is becoming
uncomfortably hot, and everybody
is anxious to get home to look after
there.
j. +. HARRIS.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1908-05-08

Batteries: Newbury, Pike, p; Hum,
phrey, c.; Hanover, Hopkins, p.
Benton and Foster, C.
Saturday the boys go to Lisbon
for the first game out of town.
There will be a supper and social
at the Congregational Church Yes
try, Friday, May 8, under the aus
pieces of the Christian Endeavor
Society. Admission, 25 cents.
Children under II years, Is cents.
Supper will be served at six o'clock.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1908-05-08
Regarding Clothing.

When you buy clothes pay enough. Buying a suit simply
because 1t is low priced seldom compishes what think does
You think its economy likely all wool because
the true economy That is what label means all
economy, small thing to look for big thing find.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1908-05-08

direct to all Separatos and brings them slowly speed Runs
washing Machine pumps any light Machinery Also have
PUMPING AND HOSTING ENGINES. PUMP JACKS AND FEED
GRINDERS OUR MARINE ENGINES ARE o. X. 1908 OMEGA
CREAM SEPARATORS. Easiest running Easiest to Clean
Just three Cones Simple Practical and Fully Guaranteed
interested write for latest Catalogues and prices of the Above.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1908-05-08
T.. A. GREEN, GEN. AGENT
NEWRURY. VERMONT
Has in stock all sizes of the
KNEELAND GASOLINE ENGINE
GASOLINE ENGINE

This Engine strictly First Class respect safety starting
device No back kick when starting Rotary pump coo Cylinder with
500 less water and keeps Cylinder Free Scales Cylinder
packing to leak or blow out and studs break This Engine
all Dur
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1908-05-08

Trunks from $3.50 to $1,000 Hand Bags from $1,000
Dress SUIT Cases from 81 so to $1,000 Also good line of Steamer
Trunks.
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1908-05-08
Our Spring Lines

Are stock and bpeak your careful consideration.
The consideration BOYS KNCKERBOCKER
SHORT PANTS SUITS as well as YOUNG MEMS
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1908-05-08
NEW Blu r Y,
The Village.
HI LIB A II d S
The Place.

EEEEEEEEEEETE
The united opinion. [volume] (Bradford, Vt.) 1881-1970, 1908-05-08
e/1A<ezz>az. ~ !
If you are in need of a Trunk,
Hand Bag, Dress Suit Case,
Trunk Strap,

Or thing in that line please bear mind you
usually large assortment our Store.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06
THE DEEP DISGRACE OF BEING USEFUL

Alma Servine daughter of reasonably well Nebraska
people who her Omaha which had
ent She in musical Skill invited the
fellow students, until
dng
working a piano family
On Omaha.
Republicans"
world
On the laboring be useful
They dropped their visiting
They her with all the cruelty barbarsm
Do communicating
asked
gave demonstration of thing
Society
girl intellectually spells destroying
written mproyising
hired GIRL babbed
state insane asylum, pronounced ncurabe
the life ruined
1.-THE crime of being useful.
There American family million
removed from shirt sleeves and kitchen
oouthenersand they the regaia of labor
stof
antry The lime of toll
aristocrac blood
and fools and cad and toades be tn girls
five drive ourselves hostility against social equality
descent real "gentiy would
tal in society what ourselves together
lose all descent"
elusive the world will suspect!
Suspect? Why the world Omaha girs-and
the would have
Kitchens and scrubbed and mopped washedand did
81 they got the chance.
that of
will and when the who refuse will be the
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06
A NEW FOE TO DOMESTIC PEACE

DearesAter left yesterday remembered that had for
gotten you-'
prying back
70 consciousness only into hysteria. q.
Weke she had opened letter addressed to her husband in
Enthusiastically feminine handwriting.
Afterward nothing but
diaboicaly cunning advertisement of patent medicine
postOffice being decided that
nothing
to fraud perhaps the prng wife, who really has
rights the which, though
the proverbaly
Here where the the human nature
into conflict For the wife than human who
would the letter
famnne chrography SUBJECT
And 1t is another of that is
required fully investigate subject privileged to draw heI
conclusions at point she peases.
There difference
Intuition
But though postoffce
regulations
to stop this sinister advertising writer's divorces
darkened homes will become
November
And-goodness knows!dvorces enough with
out further incentives omnpotent writer's.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06
EMA NAM WHO LIS 1TiGRylHlD

Joe and Tom were fast friends.
The attendants at the Blissfield
insane asylum said the two inmates
were pals and pondered at the
fact. Tom was big in figure and
clustering in style. Joe was small
i'll stature and very quiet in man.
ner. But the secret of their friend
ship lay in the fact that Tom was
good talker and Joe a good lis
tener. Neither man was violent or
progressive in his insanity.
But one thing which cemented
their friendship perhaps more than
anything else was their mutual
hatred for Keeper Jim Grace.
Jim was of the kind who think
every patient is dog and should
be treated as such.
Several times Tom had confided
to Joe that some day he feared he
would let his temper get the best
of him and do up Jim Grace, but
Joe had come out of his sheel of re-
serve long enough to caution
against such thing. For the hor-
rors of the prison for the Grim.
inal insane was ever before them.
1t was winter time and the men
working in the singing January
air in the wood lot had been driven,
harassed and abused until even
their weak minds had risen in re-
volt and now they were ordered to
return.
The men shouldered their axes
and without a word started for the
asylum. Tom and Joe were behind
and the workers just preceded Jim
Grace. They walked single file
through a path lined on either side
by deep snow banks.
They had gone but q little dis
lance when Grace asked Tom to
carry his overcoat, which he had
taken on. H'
Obediently Tom reached for the
coat, but In doing SO the garment
slipped from his hand and fell into
the snow. With an oath the keep
] er struck him q singing blow in
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

reached the scene a moment later
they found Tom struggling in the
deep drift and Joe standing with
his foot on the PROSTATE form of
big Jim Grace while he brandished
his ak in the air and gave vent to
language which had never before
been heard to pass the lips OF
peaceful Joe.
The keepers pounced on him and
clapped him in. irons and marched
him to padded cell. An investi-
cation was made, and Tom swore
by all that was holy that he had
struck the blow; but Joe insisted
that he had-and had he not been
found almost in the very act?
No others in the party had seen
the deed, and the wise doctors de-
cided that Joe was bad man and
should be sent to the dread asylum
for the criminal insane and the
doors of the place that Tom and
Joe had talked about in whispers
and dreaded all their asylum lives
yawned for the man who listened.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06
MOUZSI7IVE EDWIN

"Shud ub."
IF you'd put your head in the
refrigerator, NAV, we WOULDN'T
need any ice, would WEI"
"Edwid, dode day dat"
"And if you did, your cold would
be in the chest, wouldn't it?''
"Chide, you aggrabade me-"
Never mind, nav, even If you
have a cold in the head your face
wouldn't cool SOUP"
NAV" let that go for a compli
ment until Edwin added that the
soup was already cold, anyhow, an6
then she warmed him up to de
gree that insured him from catch
ing cold even If he sat on a chilly
doorstep.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06
PRINTERS WORK FOR
HOME INDUSTRY

w. ID. Wheaton, president of the
typographical union, says 28 Job
printing Offices have signed up with
the union and that he expects to
secure two more in the next few
days. When these are secured only
three or four small shops will be
omitted from the list.
Mr.. Wheaton is jointly working
for home industry and the union
label. The printers are prepared
to place the Made in Spokane
and typographical union labels side
by side.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06
MAKES YOU FEEL FINER
THAN SILK

A prominent business man said
the other day: II certainly feel
finer than silk since started to
take a couple OF Turkish baths a
week. Was all run down from
work and my nerves were shot to
pieces; tried doctors and medicines
but they didn't do any good. am
going to take at least one Turk
ish bath week after this" and
take 1t at the Turkish Bath Par
1Ors, First and Stevens. 80
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06
BY r. w. SCHAEFER

ooh. maw?"
"Whad now, Edwid?"
"What makes you talk so funny,
onaw?"
81 hab a bad CODE"
"Why don't you have good cold
pnce, for changer"
''Dere AIRED any good codes"
II guess there amt much differ
pnce between bad cold and good
whipping. Is there, maw?"
"Oh, hush, wonder how l con-
mracded did code"
SIS It shrunk much, maw?"
"Shrund did you day, Edwid?"
yes. You said you contracted
the cold"
Il mean dat l caught i'd"
"Maybe 1t stood still while you
were running after 1t. maw."
mo. indeed; one dud not run
ebder codes
"Weil. II /! thought I was going
% catch a cold. Id muff It,"
1 "Ghud up. Edwid. wand to read
plarJie's Marble Heart, or Duh
ouarryman's Daughter Wad Odly
Dut for duh Rocks"
~But why don't you do something
oog the cold, maw?'
ION. deah me. Ibe taxed ebbydig
- n.
i sIncIudiug the cold. eh. maw?"
q lnnb, dell you
"A vhere II your cold?"
~ nv head
Jhnt makes You cool headed.
|1 M"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06
sfpucx HNA sflNHM BswMfxs Mcr

months broke forth, and his glitter
ing blade sank through the Skull OF
the keeper as IL bone were but
paper.
With groan Jim sank to the
path and Tom looked at him I'M
able to think just what he had
done. He knew he was made and
that he still hated Grace and he
knew he had at last found vent for
his fatred, but he could go no fur
Their with his thoughts and estimate
results.
Not so Joe.
He heard men coming, and he
looked at Tom standing in the path
still dazed. Tom was his friend,
the only one he had ever 4 had
since his children had deserted
him.
With a quick bound he pushed
Tom headlong into the deep snow,
and when the party of keepers
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06
OSCAR UND ADOLF r THE L INCH COUNTER
As 1t Was Overheard by Fred
Shaefer

Shaefer.
well, vot shout We eat, Osgar?"
81 dink I'll take a short order,
Adolf. Waiter, pring me some short
cake"
Il ain'd hungry, elder, OSCAR. Bet.
ter we take box lunch"
"Vot ISIS box lunch.''
"Oxcelsior."
"Oxcelsior?
Yes, ouid of a box mattress, you
know"
why don'd 20 utry fish. Fish ISIS
brain food
Il know, but my brain ISIS afrait
of getting bones in ids throat Dit
you hear der new name for hassen-
pfeffer?"
mo. Vot ISIS der new name for
hassenpfeffer?"
"Marcelled hare, tee-hee-hee!"
did you nOtiss how hart diss
bread ISIS, VOTE"
der r-r-reason for dot ISIS der
yeast dit nod work."
"Ah, to be sure. Veil, I always
lofed to eat der bread Of idleness,
yet. My, diss is a stale doughnut!"
"Why, man, dot ISIS doughnut
like mudder used to make"
more likely i'd ISIS der same
doughnut. Waiter, waiter, be sure
und Gift me corn fed pork-I'm a
vetchtarian."
"Don'd bodder der handsome
waiter, but dell me how you find
room insite for so much food. How
ISIS it blease?"
Il tell you vOt id ISIS, I'm hollow
chestet. All bon .vivids are"
Den you are font Of all dose for
eign dishes?"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06
TIRED OUT AFTER NATIONAL
ELECTION

Now that the election is over
and everyone is tired out, there's
nothing will do you so much good
as Turkish bath. We have the
best equipped baths in the north
west. Bath and bed. $1.00. Turk
ish Bath Parlors, First and Ste
vens. II. Nichols, prop. Main
1241. 500
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

HE says dere ISIS nod trop in
der house."
well, den, I'll take a oyster
steaw."
But he said he hat no milk"
Den let him gif me raw oyster
stew"
vile we wait for der check und
hope i'd don'd come, Wish to ques-
ton you answer: Why shout a
bantmaster nefer starfe?"
"Doesn'd he?"
mo. He can eat der frogs on his
coat, ha, ha, hal"
"Oh, as far as dot goes, hat Won,
too: Eff. you stole a ham und wass
arrestet before you coult sell i'd,
vot voult happen?"
81 gif Id up"
dots right; you voult hat to-"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

"Yess. By der way, how can l
tell a foreign dish?"
EASY. Eff id ISIS full of foreign
substances i'd ISIS foreign dish"
"Vell, ! blead guilty to hating a
bug for French fried potatoes"
Dots holdings, 1 myseluf hat
der Choinian potato bug. Say, vot
ISIS dot hammering back in der
Kitchen"
"Don'd boast your ignorance
dey are making pound cake. / wish
We hat a boddle of Niersteiner or
Hochheimer or Assmanshauser or.
Dear me, / don'd see how you
kip all does difference wines in
your head"
Pooh, wine naturally goes to my
head. Waiter, pring me some milk"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

the face, bringing a stream of blood
from his bruised nose.
For moment Tom was stunned,
and then all the hot resentment
which had been slumbering for
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

The man who fails to make good
always claims he didn't have a fair
chance.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

Abraham's purchase of the cave
Of Machpelah for 400 shekels was
first business transaction.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

"Do you exercise that bull pup Of
yours, Jones?"
Certainly, he gets tramp every
day or two"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

A girl always has q good time at
q party II she has on Few dress.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

The vainest man living is the
man who prides himself on having
no vanities.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

A good many in religion are like
people who feel that they own an
automobile when the have bought a
horn.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

Reinforced concrete is advocated
as armor for battleships.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

l:s|
What has become of the old fash
toned druggist who used to give the
children licorice root?
Sleeping cars installed by Illinois
trolley lines have proven paying
investment.
Another tunnel will connect
Switzerland and Italy. 1t will 60
through Mt. Blanc and will be 2S
miles long.
The people of the' united king
dom pay King Edward and his i'm
mediate relatives $2,S34,0O0 annu-
ally.
A silver dollar coined in 1904 is
valued at $500.
Speed lunatics have turned their
attention to the big race over the
Savannah (Ga.) course Thanksgiv-
ing day.
The dome of the United States
capitol is 2S7h feet high.
"What did your sister do when
We Flip asked her to elope in his
aeroplane?"
"Oh, she fell for it."
On the Panama canal in Septem-
Der 3,15S,SS6 cubic yards were ex-
cavated.
Korea is exactly the size of
Kansas. $4,000 square miles.
Isn't 1t strange what a lot of Joy
some men find in spreading bad
news?
Prisoner--Hey, turnkey, tie that
Frenchman's hands, will you? He
is keeping everyone awake talking
in his sleep.
Reinforced concrete is advocated
as armor for battleships.
Abraham's purchase of the cave
of Machpelah for 400 shekels was
first business transaction.
"Do you exercise that bull pup of
yours, Jones?"
Certainly, he gets tramp every
day or two" }
"Rosenwein. deposited under the
Hotel de Vile, Bremen, nearly two
centuries ago, is valued at 1912 a
drop, or $272,3S0 glass, a glass
being one-eighth of bottle.
Office Boy-Your mother In law
| is on the wire.
Employer wish 1t was barbed.
There are only 2750 known Ian
| guages.
A good many in religion are like
people who feel that they own an
automobile when the have bought a
horn
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

There are only 1850 known Ian
guages.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

Prisoner--Hey, turnkey, tie that
Frenchman's hands, will you? He
is keeping everyone awake talking
in his sleep.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

"Rosenwein. deposited under the
Hotel de Vile, Bremen. nearly two
centuries ago, is valued at 1912 a
drop, or $272,3S0 a glass, glass
being one-eighth of a bottle.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

Office Boy-Your mother In law
is on the wire.
Employer wish 1t was barbed.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06
IT t'f'fF NJ y - 'r' = ~ '--Fa'-i'a'f
Host AaythiR&
A WORD FROM Josh :WlsE.

There's many
a two by four
pa triot in q
eight by twelve
job"
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

Isn't 1t strange what a lot of Joy
some men find in spreading bad
news?
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-11-06

Korea is exactly the size OF
Kansas, $4,000 square miles.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-07-15
The Boiler Tube Exclusion

The fatal explosion of a boiler tube
on the armored cruiser Tennessee is
an impressive lesson-which ought to
be unnecessary-of the vitaH impor-
lance OF keeping all material furnished
Tor the construction of our warships
scrupulously up TO the high standard
prescribed in the government specifi-
cations. Ii was the obvious necessity
of doing this that led the Dispatch n
couple OF years or more ago to direct
the attention of the officers of the gov
eminent TO prima facia testimony con
corning the furnishing OF defective
boiler tubes 10 the government by
false inspection.
IL this explosion had taken place on
the Tennessee just as the call had
been made on her machinery for go
ing into actual battle the result would
have been much more disastrous than
the loss OF six or eight lives, which is
heavy enough penalty to pay for de-
fective work. In battle the shiI
would have been crippled in the pres
ence OF the enemy and placed at it's
mercy. Her crew could have been
slaughtered or captured and the ship
itself made prize or sent to the bot
tom. In other words. that for which
the country had spent millions for
strength and defense would have
been converted at the crucial moment
into weakness and loss.
In the absence of direct statement
wo do not allege that this defective
tube was furnished under the contract
which was the subject of exposure
and trial year or more ago. But as
the contract was running about the
time this vessel was built IL is not
improbable. Furthermore, the explo-
sion tends to lessen confidence in the
theory developed on the defense, that
tests TO which finished boilers are sub
jected before they are accepted pre-
clude the possibility of defective ma
chinery going into the warships. The
case strongly calls for the close ex-
animation of all boilers in the navy
and the discarding of all that show
any sign OF weakness.-Pittsbur Dis
patch.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-07-15
One Of Bill Nye's.

referring TO real estate transac,
ton made by one Peter Minuit. way
back in the year 1928, Bill Nye. in his
history OF the United States, declared:
New York was afterwards sold for
$24; the whole island When think
OF this j go into my family gallery.
which 1 also use as a swear room, and
tell those ancestors what I think of
them. Where were they when Sew
York sold for s24?"
The humor of this strikes deep,r
when one stops TO consider what has
been the outcome OF this original in.
yestment. Peter Minuit, with trinkets
and few bottles OF rum, so delighted
the native indians that they gladly
turned over to him the whole OF Man.
haitian island, now the heart Of
Greater New York.-"New York, the
Giant City" National Magazine.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-07-15
One Of tie
Essentials

u the happy homes of to-day is n vast
fund OF information as to the hes. method,
OF promoting health and happiness and
right living and knowledge of the worlds
best products.
Products of actual excellence and
reasonable claims truthfully presented
and which have attained to worldwide
acceptance through the approval Of the
Wel-lnformcd of the World; not of indi-
v'duals only. but of the many who have
the happy faculty of selecting and obtain
ing the best the world affords.
One of the products of that class, Of
known component parts, an Ethical
remedy, approved by physicians and COM
mended by the Well-Inforrned of the
World as valuable and wholesome family
laxative is the well known Syrup Of Figs
and Elixir of SIENNA. To get its beneficial
effects always buy the genuine, manu-
featured by the California Fig Syrup Co.,
only. and for sale by all leading druggists.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-07-15
Want oambstta IN panth.o,

The republicans in France. eager tc
gather all their great dead into the
Pantheon, are urging the government
10 bring Gambetta's body from Nice.
Gambet-a's nephew, colonel Of a regi
ment stationed at Africa. writes TO the
Temps hat this can not be done with
odt tho consent Of his mother. tho sis
ter whom the statesman made bis
executor. The colonel hints that she
may refuse on account OF the very
strong wish expressed by Gsmbetts
that his body should be buried whers
81 is
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-07-15
Honor Memory OF MCKINLEY

Tho affectionate regard in which
President Mckinley was held has in
creased rather than diminished in the
years that have passed since his I'm
timely death. His place I'm history is
already secure. and the monument
which was dedicated recently will
serve TO keep always before our minds
soundiy patriotic American states
man, as wise and prudent as he was
modest and gentle. whose ennoblIng
influence was not ended with his life
The monument is a worthy addition TO
our somewhat promiscuous collection
of public statuary, though Il is seen at
disadvantage In it's present tenn
porary position. n was designed for a
place in front OF Memorial hall but Il
Is now expected that still better 10
cation will be found for IL upon the
new parkway.-N. Y. Sun.