The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-01-15

In Jersey City man mas been senI to jail for being common scold ana a woman sent 10 the same place for being a highway robber. It strikes us this is turning the tables somewhat. With tailor shops and modiste estab- lishments on the new ocean liners 1t will seem rmore than ever like life on terra firma. Nothing like having all the comforts of the bills we have at home.
 In Sopth Norwalk. Conn.,. a net dog recently tore up the Mayors message. However. 1t would take pretty hefty dog that could attack 2 message Of President of the United States
 That rumbling noise you hear early every morning up Birmingham way is the rattle of the water wagon.
 The Alabama Republicans are solid for Bill Taft. If the Republicans of the other States are of the same mind and Bill being so solid himself ne ought to win in walk.
 When a contribution box is passed in church you ought to havS something more for the minister than mere praise. While women have been barred from the Thaw trial, they continue to read the daily chapters with increased in- terest and bated breath.
 A Detroit woman sold her husband for $5,00e. Possibly she was for%ed to do this on Account of the financial stringency but he must have been more than worthless cuss to fetch such fancy price.
 The steeds of the night riders of Kentucky might well be called night mares"
 Before Washington police magis- trate the other day John Adams charged George Washington with em- bezzilng s2. Whats in name. any way?
 A report comes from Paris that wo- mems hats are to be smaller than they were this season, though this is not saying the price will conform to the size.
 Now. since Montgomery is the first Southern city to call in clearing house certificates, we would like to know what The Houston Post has to sayT
 Do not judge a mans brains by the fact that he is always talking
 At the last New Zealand election 5000 women cast their votes. rms is evidently a land where the new wo- man asserts herself.
 The highest points to which man can ascend without his health being serl- ously affected. is 16,50O feet. Builders of New York sRy-scrapers please taKe warning.
 A serpent has been found dead in New Mexico which, was thirty-seVen 1t. Any man on a jag who saw that brute coming would surely swear OIL
 
 An express wagon containing $5o0. = a AaA NHTith a street car in Chicago and in the crash Henry Kerlser was struck over the head With a bag of gold. It is but natural tnat Henry, in his suit should at least ae, e,, mand for his wounded feelings as much gold as was in the bag. Evolution. Onct there was a maiden name O Mary, meek and shy, | Who always went to Sunday School ana sat with downcast eye; | She never told a story. always knew her lesson good. 1 She'd always mind her mamma anu uo everything she should. | To use a slang expression, she would simply have dropped dead
 She always said her prayers and then humbly crept to bed. | Oh she was model dau9nter, was this little Mary Green,
 And all predicted she would be an an gel, too, l ween. | The carrier brought catalokuo to Mary's house one day.
 From a college for young ladies Tn tne And little Mary seized it like a black bass takes a fly, | This little Mary. modest ana oehure and meek and shy. | So she stamped her foot and hoiloreo that to college she must go, | And next morning all the family on neE | clothes began to sew. | There was cutting, there was sewing there was fitting and the like | For they had to get her ready Tn Just l one short week to hike. | When she entered college. she was | . green and soft as mush,
 But she'd not been there week be, fore she said "oh. Fudge and "Slush," And other things so horrid that I'm not prepared to show. | But modest little Mary underwent g change, l know, | She learned to play at basket ball ano
 do the giant swing. | She learned to walk upon her handt 1 and by her toes to. cling l She whooped and holloWed louder thar 1 an Indian on a spree. l This modest, quiet bit of human lem l in-in-t-ty.
 When she came home on vacation, why all the neighboFs stared | At how she walked and swaggereo ane
 did the things she dared
 And the preacher and the teacher sim,
 ply tucked their heads ane sneaked
 At the theory she expended in tho
 languages she speaked. |