The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-31
HUNOR or THE Day

Farmer Medders-so. tn bunco man told
kins. ne an uy yew son belieTe ed 0i Rims Farmer
Snakeroot-Not at first; 81; but when he
pick my pocket at tn same time. BY gumi
I 5es' couldn't help but believe he wuz
Although my father is an invalid, said
Miss Howell. ''he takes deep interest in
nv musical education. He always encour-
ages me to practice my singing at home:
even when he's in greatest pain. Well,
one may be made 't to forget a great pain
! by greater one. 1.-THE Catholic Standard
and Times.
Hippo-They tell Tortoise has passed
away. What was the trouble? Boa-de
speed BOBBY prizes for years with un::
questioned supremacy, some envious rival
inveigled him into a match race with
government contract--Puck.
"Papa's going. to give us check at the
right; wen have the ceremony at high
noon then instead of at o'clockP' Why,
what for. dear?' Banks close at 81
Chicago Journal.
"why are you always quarreling with
me-" But YOU need not get angry. Just
explain to her Erin in gentle tone where she
washington Opinion.
LORD Palmerston was interrupted at
public meeting. win you support such
and such reform. If returned?'' demand
cred a moment. then replied, IT what
which there were thunders Of applause
counter 9ontSe6 fbeqs
was general laughter.-Argonaut.
Bobby-Tve been an awful good boy
since 1 started going to Sunday school,
haven't I. Mother-Yes. dear. you've been
very good. indeed: Bobby-And you don't
No. dear. Bobby-Then. why do you con-
tinue to hide the pie?-Harper's Weekly.
Dumley-Say, you'd better take some
thing for that cold old man. Now Wise
taken too oie muc S a aiyea ld BumIev-Too
much what? Philadelphia
Press.
Mabel (testing the wisdom of the grown
ups)-Well, how did Martin Luther die?
suppose. Mabel-Oh. uncle! you really
don't know ANYTHING. He was excom-
municated by a bull.-Sketch.
An italian went to the Civil Service
Commissioners rooms to be examined for
ed him II he had ever been naturalized.
face fac sg iighted up Di' Ah Know Whats yoS
mean. Scratcha de arm. Yes; lasta week"
-Argonaut.
Tommy (aged s. who has just been pun
ished by his mOther)-Dad, don't believe
1 can stand your wife much longer
Illustrated Bits.
Maud-Jack says 1 grow more beautiful
every time he sees me. Ethel-You should
have him call much oftener. dear.-Boston
Transcript.
Tommy-Ma, I met the minister on my
way to Sunday school, and he asked me
if ever went fishing on Sunday Mater
And what did you say, darling? Tommy
/ said. Get thee behind me, Satan,
and ran right away from him.-Judge.
The young housewife was engaging her
first Cook. "Of course" she said. Il don't
want to have any trouble with you"
Thin it do be up to yersilf, ma'am,' re-
complaints OiI make no trouble. Chi
cago Daily News.
The Interruption. The Professor
Heavens! This was the day 1 was to have
been married. What will she think Of
me? Ass,stant-You were married. Don't
you remember? The ceremony took place
at noon. ''Ah, yes, to be sure recall
now my annoyance at losing an hour
Life.
Lord IIyveden is an ardent peerage re-
former. and tells anecdote in this con-
nection for whose authenticity he pledges
himself This narrates how a famous
statesman of the nineteenth century was
called upon to visit his son in prison. He
bitterly reproached him. remarking: Here
am I. having worked my way up from a
middle class home to a great position, and
when I die you will be the greatest black
quietly and then replied with terrible
irony. 'rYes-when YOU die. ''-Argonaut