Mountain Home maverick. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1906-1911, 1908-03-19
Unique Toast.
Pungeni Remarks Concerning Our
Glorious Republic.

w. X. Andre VS., of Grand Ra-
pids, Mich, at a banquet given
there recently got off the following
unique toast. 1t was addressed to
the Filipinos, prompted by the
statement that they did not want
to become citizens of this great
republic.
''You Filipinos don't know what
you are missing by not wanting to
become citizens of this grand
country of ours. You ought to send
a delegatin over to see us, the land
of the free-land of fine churches
and 40, 900 licensed saloons; bibles,
forts and guns, houses of prostitu-
ton; mililonaires and paupers;
theclogians and thieves; liberists
and liars; politicians and poverty;
Christians and chain gangs; schools
and scalawags; trusts and tranIps;
money and misery; home and hum
ger: virtue and vice: land where
you can get a good bible for fifteen
cents and bad drink of whiske y
for five cents; where we have a
man in congress with three wives
and a lot in penitentiary for having
two wives, and some want to eat
them raw; where we make bologna
out of dogs, canned beef out OF
Z horses and sick cows, and corpses
out of people who eat it; where
we put a man in Jail for not having
means of support and on the rock
pile for asking for a job of work ;
were we license bawdy houses and
fine men for preaching Christ on
the street corners; where we have
a congress of 400 men who make
laws, and supreme court OF zine
men who set them aside; where
good whiskey makes bad men and
bad men make good whisKey !;
where newspapers are paid for sup
pressing the truth and made rich
for teaching lie; where professors
draw their convictions from the
same place they do their salaries
where preachers are paid SIS, OOC
a year to dodge the devil and tickle
the ear of the wealthy; where bust
ness consists of getting hold ol
property in any way that won't
land you in pcnitentiary; where
trusts hold up and poverty hold:
down. where men vote
, for what they do not want for fear
. they will not get what they wan
by voting for IT. Where 'niggers
can vote but women can't; wher'
a girl who goes wrong is made al
outcast and her male partner
flourish IS as a gentleman; wher
women wear false hair and me-
dock their horses tails; where tn
9 political wire puller has displace
the patriotic statesman; where me
vote for thing one day and cuss
4 364 days; where we have prayer
on the floor of our nationl capitC
and whiskey in the cellar; wher
. we spend $50 to bury a statesma
who is rich and $40 to put ava
working man who is poor; whel
= to be virtuous is to be lonesome ar
y. to be honest is to be crank; whci
4 we sit on the saftey valve and pu
- wide open the throttle OF conscien
= where gold is substance-the OF
thing sought for; where we pi
!; $4,000 for dog and fifteen cen
a dozen to a poor woman for ma
1, ing shirts where we teach the u
=, tutored' Indian eternal lite frc
Ne the Bible and kill him off wi
=, bad whiskey; where we put M
r. in jail for stealing Loaf OF bre
,st and in congress for stealing
ed railroad; where the check DO
- talks, sin walks in broad dayligl
Justice is asleep, corruption pc
meates the whole social and pol
- ical fabric, and the devil laug
. from every street corner. Come
us, Filleis, We've got the gre
est aggregation of good things a
bad things, hot things and c.
things, all sizes, varieties, and C
ors, ever exhibited under one tent