The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-12
HELLO SYSTEM
 |NVADES FRANCE Telephone Girls Mimic Those In.
 United States SLANGY ANSWERS GIVEN Complaints to the Managers Some times Get Same Treatment as
 They Do in This Country.
 Americanlzed System.
SLANGY ANSWERS GIVEN
By MARQUIS DE cAsrELLANE.

" WHn&Olo LIE OAS ELEANE.
 Paris. July n.-In spite of all the belli- cose predictions there are two reasons why there will not be a Franco German war: First, because France doesn't wafst to fight; second, because Germany doesn't want to fight.
 Then why all this war-talk, you ask? It is pure money-raising bluff. The Germans are pushing on their railway. which is to run from Constantinople to Bagdad; they have already reached Konia and the foot of the Taurus hills, and these works are vast and costly. In order to raise the money Germany has had to appeal to for eign f1nanciers. Naturally she has turned to France, and I am informed that the German government has offered to grant us serious concessions in Morocco if we will give them financial aid in Asiatic Tur- key.
 And all the angry words about Morocco had no other aim than that of forcing on this bargain. Germany needs s14O,Ooo,- GOO; and why should France not lend them?
 The French government, more and more disgusted with It's Moroccan campaign, Is inclined to consider the proposition. A group of French ffnanciers are said to be ready to furnish the money, at least to of fer such loan to our easy-going public, and doubeless 1t would be subscribed Hon. est men, however, are still hoping that MT Clemenceau will not consent to sac rif1ce both Morocco and our money to German ambition.
 Our amiable government is introducing the American telephone system, and the real meaning of the American system" seems to be that you cannot get any one on the telephone, that you may ring and ring and-after a while-the voice of telephone girl will reply in slangy disdain. Anyway that is what happens in Paris with your system.
 Yesterday afternoon the Count d'Au- bfgny, who lives in the 16th arrondisse- ment, near the Trocadero, called up number on his telephone. After being slanged for 20 minutes by the telephone girl the Count asked to be put in commit nication with the chief of that telephone ptdtioH A indle VOlco dSKeu, what Q0 you want?"
 The Count d'Aubigny stated the grounds of his complaint.
 "Oh, you go tof@" replied the voice.
 Instead the Count jumped into an auto- mobile and drove to the telephone office. He asked for the superintendent and was shown up to the first floor. He knocked x1.- him to come in.
 'I am a telephone subscriber" said the Count, land awhile ago you insulted me over the wire.'
 Well" the clerk asked impudentIy, what of it?''
 The Count expressed the natural indig- nation of a gentleman and threatened to pull the chief clerks ears. Instantly he was set upon by five men; his gray frock coat was torn from his shoulders and he was thrown down stairs and into the street. Scores of telephone girls looked from the windows and jeered nosily as the Count picked himself up.
 The Count dAubigny was more dis pleased than ever with the American system"
 He hailed a cab and drove at once to the police station of the quarter, where he demanded a warrant from Monsieur Lan- del, the commissary.
 There are only 10000 telephone subscrib- CTS in all Paris. I am sure there are more in Stockholm. And, as am one of them my sympathy is with the Count d'Aubig- ny. Few ordinary citizens use the tele- phone here. So the democratic employees of our democratic government know they have nothing to fear from the few gentle men who pay $S0 a year for the tele- phone service. As our telephone service Is controlled by the postoffice department complaints are of no effect There is real- ly nothing to do.
 However, the Duke of Monticello has organized a society of subscribers-all of us who are being robbed and. in addition,