The bee., 1908-05-21
WINDING
The BABY

place. IL was good enough place and
I'd probably stay there for the rest
Of my life II II had not been for a
young man named Smith and his wife,
who took the room next to mine
and"
"Ahi see," said Roysten. Tried
to flirt with the pretty Mrs. Smith and
the jealous husband naturally went
for you"
"Worse'n that blamed sight" said
Potter, dolefully. she went for me
herself, then the landlady sailed in
and finally the whsle house, and II
ever rock baby for anybody again
may be struck of life-size as a sam
pie Of a real idiot Now, anybody to
look at me could, suppose, take me
for an obliging man." he added, paus-
ing to wait for some expression Of
opinion to come out Of the dense cloud
of smoke opposite.
"Er-yes. Pray go on"
Well, those Smiths began to sus-
pect II the minute they saw me
hadn't been there a week before my
IOOlu lOOhCu On II UOdiQCu EOhnC
where else-actually that fellow had
borrowed everything that could be
moved, invited me to smoke my own
cigars and said he felt more &C
qHafnted with me than he did with HIS
twin brotber-found out since he
never had twin brother. Got so
confounded chummy and so all over
that !, only had room enough to be
chummy back again, by George, and
demme If / didn't feel grateful for
even that Went home one evening
dead sleepy and beat out-had set up
all night before with a sick chap-and
the minute struck my room there
was Smith waiting for me. Said he
and his wife wanted to go round the
corner on an errand, and asked me II
I wouldn't just listen. and If l heard
their baby cry go in and jog the
cradle. said / would, like an ass,
and after they'd gone, and long before
I'd begun to listen, that cry broke out
in the next room like bagpipe. Cad,
how sleepy was! But ! went in and
logged that cradle, logged it like the
deuce, and the more logged the more
the little whelp yelled. Thought, per
haps, it had the nightmare or some
thing and hauled It out of its bunk
and kind Of threw it round to wake it
un, but when tried to see If it had it's
eyes open, I'll be blamed II l could find
any eyes. It went. right on getting
redder and redder, bowling like forty
demons, and finally wriggled so way
/ inside of itself that + couldn't see any
thing but clothes. and didn't know
where to take hold Of the little imp.
''Hy joye, but was sleepy, Though.
ands mad enough TO wiring. Smith 8
neck! ut didp't know what on earth to
do-never'd been so near a cub In my
life. Iswhistled TO It, swore' at it,
shouted Ben Bolt over. 1t. tried to look
likesits mother, told 1t twas 'muvver's
oYhzey' title lizzie, wizzie, dizzie. but
H. didn't believe a word of it--just
h6oted two octAves higher up and for
FIVE minutes almost wished was
dead Then l. thought I'd lay 1t down
again-never forget how awful sleepy
was-guess my foot slipped or some
thing; anyway, we both fell in the
cradle. OF course, the poor little thing
broke out in q fresh spot-been a fool
II IL hadn't-and ! braced up and be-
gan jogging that cradle again like
mad. l was desperate. The chandelier
jingled, the pictures got to hanging
crooked, the floor creaked and the
cradle cracked You'd thought all
Bedlam had day off-the little tar
tar's bowls weren't in it-sounded as
If they'd been wrapped up and laid
away somewhere and-just then in
walked Smith and his wife and began
to apologize for staying so long, while
made for the door l didn't get
there, however, for Mrs. Smith was
looking in the cradle and screaming.
Where, oh, where is my angel child,
you monster of a mani And then
Smith looked, too, and leaped all over
me, shouting out: Where IL my boy,
you scoundrel?"
Then | looked myself, and felt
nearer the electric chair than / ever
expected 10, TOT tHdI CIduio uiuh nave
a devilish thing in it. Everything was
on the floor, but the baby was no
where, and they went to clawing at
me as II I had it in an inside pocket.
We heard It talking to itself some
where, but It might have been ven
triloquist the way II kept us thinking
1t was every where where 1t wasn't.
Landlady came up and said the man
below had notified her that a cable
car was loose upstairs; then the other
boarders nocked in and helped shake
things to see II the baby wouldn't fall
out. tried TO explain and said I'd
only been jogging the cradle, but they
all grinned, and one mean cuss said
he guessed I'd been tagging, II he was
any Judge. OF course the baby was
all right-'twas under the bed, where
II mad rolled itself just for fun. for
It was having a better time than any
body In the room. ! swore hadn't
- "A 3hawa h,,t thav all lOOEad ans