davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19
Until She Was Fain to Scream SUI.
ficiency.

presented their bills. and yet: unto
this very hour the City Man knoweth
not which bill penetrated with the
most terrifying penetrativeness.
And it came to pass that the City
Man knew no peace in the Land Of
Pebbleonthebeach, and he communcd
with himself, saying: 10! the gentle
voiced advertisement Is delusion and
a snare; for the wild waves are even
an automobile chauffeur for rudeness;
the humidity followeth increasingly,
and the Mosquito stingeth like an ad-
der. Therefore will gather the rem.
nants of my tribe about me and fles
for the City whence 1 came, lest, per-
adventure, the Landlord shall take my
wearing apparel, even as he hath
taken my purse and the contents
thereof"
And straightway he got up and gat.
And even as he gat he communed
with himself, saying: "Stang!"
Cheer up, Bunch; the wurst Is yet
to come, as the man said when the
waiter didn't bring the sausage.
Yours as heretofore,
j. II.
Copyright. 1908. by G. W. Dillingham; Coz
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19

Dear Bud: I'm going to pull some.
thing on you in this letter that will
make you get up and leave the room.
Just to kill time. I've been dabbling
In literature.
Up. Slime died violent death,
all right, all rightly
want you to read these little
stories from the Sanscrit, and scold
me when we meet.
Once more, go to It, Bunch!
The Finish Of Billdad.
And 1t came to pass that Billdad
the son Of Jimdad was worried within
himself, and he communed with him.
self, saying: Behold! 1 must join
the Brethren of the Long Thirst in
secret session this night, but what
good thing shall say unto my wife
when she chides me with having no
great purpose in going FORTH"
And Billdad the son of Jimdad
glanced disconsolately at his favorite
newspaper, and his heart was like lead
within him.
And even as he read smile broke
forth from the gloom that overshad-
owed his face. ana this smile was like
unto the first faint Hush of the waken-
Ing East, and he arose with gurgle-
some glee as does one whose mind Is
relieved of migsNy burden.
And he commured with himself
softly, saying: "Rositics! TITS pipe!"
And Billdad tho son of Jim 1rd
called his wife to his side, and ~
spake unto her, saying: Maud. tie
soft Wilderness of thy cheek Is fajrer
than the bloom that loves to linger on
the lilies of the Nile! Thine eyes are
twin thieves, which by some sorcery
have te'en the light from yon poor,
weeping star, and now that light must
Turk forever in thoae dangerously
limpid depths! Thy smile, o Maud, is
like the scintillating sweetness Of a
summers sky!"
And Maud, the wife of Billdad the
son OF Jimdad, made answer, and said:
what talk have We, .3illdad? Quit
your joshing, or I'll baste you with the
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19
Women as Chemists.

ut Is inexpedient publicly to en-
courage women to adopt chemistry as
professional pursuit"
In this concise way Is expressed the
view of those members of the Chem.
ical society Of Great Britain who dis
approve of the proposal to allow WON.
en- to become members.
Out of 3,4OO papers read on per-
sonal researches during the last 35
years, only % have been contributed
by women alone. There Is a growing
desire, however, on the part of many
of our leading scientists to admit WON.
en- chemists to membership, and, as
the wish has met with the strongest
opposition from other members, the
question is being put to a ballot.
Nine. Curie is at present the only
woman member. and she has been
made merely an honorary fellow"
with neither voting power nor eligibiI
ity for office on the council.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19
$500 Reward, 500.

The readers Of this paper viii be pleased to learn
that there Is at least one dreaded disease that
been able to cure In all its stages and that Is
Catarrh Halls Catarrh Cure the only positive
cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being constitutional disease, requires q consttu
tional treatment. Halls Catarrh Cure IS taken in
ternally acting directly upon the blood and
surfaces Of the system. thereby destroying the
foundation Of the disease and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution and assist
Ing nature In doing its work. The propretors have
much faith In It's curative powers that they offer
Ono Hundred Dollars for any case that 1t tais to
cure. Send for list OF testimonials
Address f. J. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo. o.
Sold by all Druggists 75c
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19
"What Talk Have 70, BllIdat? Quit
Your Joshing."

broom. Got to go out again tonight.
! suppose. What is 1t this time? The
Inner Circle of the Royal Sons of a
Krupp Gun? Oh is 1t the Ancient Or
der Of the Accidental Dollar Blll?"
And Billdad the son Of Jimdad an
swered and said: May, sweet wife of
my weary heart, It's none of these.
TITS politics that beckons me forth
into the noisome night. Knowst thou
not that the two Great Parties will
soon have to grapple In the final death
struggle, and my uncertain vote still
wavers in the winds Of indecision?
Therefore, this night. o wife of my
weary heart, / go forth to Join gar
rulous group Of statisticians, astrolog-
lists. soothsayers. and seers to the end
that my eyes may clearly see the light
and my vote may count upon the side
Of blight. Be thou of good cheer. be-
loved, for shall sit at the feet of the
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19
Savaeery In Civilization.

1t is no time to say that man can.
not, in civilized society, be guilty of
cannabilism. tell you there are
more cannibals in New York than in
the isles of the Pacific; and If to-day
you were suddenly to take away the
support that comes from eating men,
there would be thousands and thou.
sands of empty maws tomorrow In
that city.-Henry Ward Beecher.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19
VIII Require Much Wheat.

It has been figured that by 1850, 4s
harvests hence. the United States will
have a population which. at the aver
age rate of 61z bushels Of wheat a
person, viii require full billion OF
bushels Of wheat for bread and seed.
wall Street Journal.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19
Disqruntled Dad.

81 see," said the Wall street man,
that you are engaged again.
81 am" admitted the son and heir.
Just when violets and theater tick
cts are due for their fall rise. Why
must you always fall in love on bull
market ?"-Kansas City Journal.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.

For thirty years lydia q. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousandsof
women who have been troubled with
displacemcnts, inflammation, ulcera-
ton, tibroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bear
ing-down feeling, tlatulency, indiges-
ton, dizziness Ornervous prostration.
Why don't you try it?
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick
women to write her for advice.
She has guided thousands to
health. Address, Lynn, Mass.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19

Clear white clothes are a sign that the
housekeepcr uses Red Cross Ball Blue.
Large o. package, cents.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19
BOTH UPLIFTING.

81 see that they're a-goln' to uplift
us farmers!"
What do they calc'late ter use
balloons or dynamite?"
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19

You don't have to go to rink to
see q lot of cheap skates.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19

1t Cares While You Walk
Allen Foot Eas for cUrns and buniuns. hot sweaty
calous aching fcci. .Jc all Druggists
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19

Stealing time from sleep is a poor
way to beat it.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19

How many American women in
lonely homes to-day long for this
blessing to come into their lives, and
to be able to utter these words, but
because of some organic derange-
ment this happiness is denied them.
Every woman interested in this
subject should know that prepara-
ton for healthy maternity is
ACCOMPLISHED by the use of
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19
LYDIA f., PlNEzHAM'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND

Mrs. Maggie GlImer, OF west
Union, S. C.,writes to Mrs. Pinkham:
~ was greatly rundown in health
from weakness peculiar to my sex,
when Lydia Il. Pinlkham' s Vegetable
Compound was recommended to me. 1t
not only restored me to perfect health,
but to my delight ! am mother"
Mrs. Josephine Hall, of Bardstown,
KY, writes:
II was very great sufferer from
female troubles, and my physician failed
to help me. Lydia e. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound not only restored me
to perfect health, but am now proud
mother"
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-11-19
Habit Hard to Overcome.

Many people find 1t impossible to
get over the habit of adulterating the
truth which they use.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-06-09
HUMOR OF THE HOUR
Everythina as It Should Be-.


Il have question to ask you" The
proud, intellectual beauty looked in.
tently in the face of the young man
who had sworn to love her forever
"We are in such perfect sympathy"
she said, that it is hardly worth while
to refer to slight detail, and yet, as a
mere formality, the matter would bet
ter be referred to now that we are
about to be married and the long even
ings are ahead of us-evenings during
which we can discuss the manifold
questions of the day."
He smiled brightly. "I'm only too
delighted, DEAR" he replied, ito satisfy
your curiosity. Pray proceed"
Smiling lightly. she said: every well,
then. This is the question to which
am sure you must have given earnest
and prayerful thought. In which,
among all of Ibsen's plays, do you
consider the great master reached the
height of his genius?'
do you wish to know my real opin-
ion?'
~ do"
Lowering his voice, he said, Darling,
the Ibsen cult makes me very weary
He never wrote anything that can be
remotedly considered work of genius.
He is freak. There's nothing in him.
p
"Do you really mean that?" She
strained him to her heart.
II do, indeed. Does it please your"
And she replied: "Ah, cannot tell
how much. was afraid you might ap-
preciate him even in remote way.
And knew u you did you might rude
ly break In at times on my contempla-
ton Of his immensely. Now nothing
can happen to draw us apart. Thomas
l.. Mason in Judge.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-06-09
SHOOTING OF DREYFUs.
Paris Sensation May Have Been the
Outcome of Royalist Plot.

Paris Sensation May Have Been the
Outcome of a Royalist Plot.
Paris, June 9.-All Paris is asking it.
self whether the shooting of Alfred
Dreyfus in the Pantheon by Louis An
theme Gregori military journalist,
means q Royalist plot against the re-
public, In Republican quarters
the idea is scoffed at. the loyalty of
the masses to the present form of gov
eminent being taken for granted, but
many observers declare that the shots
fired at Major Dreyfus mark the res
toration to activity of the supporters
of the Duke of Orleans.
The impressive ceremonies of the
canonization of Emile lola and the
refinement OF his ashes had just con-
cluded in the Pantheon before a gath
ering of distinguished men and Presi-
dent Fallieres, followed by his suit,
had stepped outside the rotunda to the
portico to review the troops when two
pistol shots in rapid succession sound
ed sharply in the temple of the coun-
try's honored dead
MdJuI AllIeu DLeytuHy tue man lOl
whom lola had risxed his life, liberty
and fortune in the expose of the army
plot to disgrace him, dramatically
raised above his head his right arm,
from which the blood was freely flow
ing, some of the drops falling on his
pale face as he held his arm in such a
position that all could see 1t.
The motive of the would be assassin
As the cause Of much mystifcation, for
Gregori, instead of being an ordinary
fanatic, such as is carried away by the
political passions of the moment, is a
man of mature age, having been born
in 1874, and was highly esteemed in
the circle where he was known.
Major Dreyfus was not seriously in
jured. A bullet entered his forearm,
but did not injure the bone. The OIL
cial statement was made that his CON
dition was very favorable and that no
complications We're feared.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-06-09
FACTS IN FEW LINES

Greenland has a population of 1895.
Denmark has repealed the import
duties on rice and petroleum.
BraziPs capacity of cocoa is almost
limitless. Last years production ex-
ceeded 100000 pounds.
In some parts of China the natives
have taken to raising grapes and max
Ing several kinds of wine.
Hannibal during his campaign in
Italy and Spain plundered 400 towns
and destroyed 100000 men.
SO lately as 1918 the British East In
dia company decided that trade with
Japan was not worth cultivating.
'Calais, 10000 inhabitants, important
seaport; principal industry, tulle net"
So runs the French geography books.
Germany is now gaining more by i'm
migration than she loses by emigra-
ton. The reverse is true of Great
Britain.
Russia has $4,000 miles of navigable
rivers and $4,000 miles of railroads. AT
last accounts the river traffic amounted
to 10000 tons year.
The conductor on the MERGED river
canyon train in California stopped the
train long enough to kill with a rifle
brown bear 200 yards away.
S. w. Ramsey of Girard, O., is the
inventor of process for making use
of flue dust from a blast furnace in the
manufacture Of fuel which is said to
be very promising. S..
Dannert gas is the name given Ia
Germany to a new substitute for coal
gas. 1t is made from oil and coke, and,
while not unlike water gas, it is much
cheaper to produce. 4
Yuan Shi Kai is urging the Chinese
throne to establish a government de-
partment to deal with missionary af-
fairs, something that all mission work
ers would welcome.
Pins are not used in China Clothes
are fastened with buttons and button
holes or with loops and frogs, and
person is considered untidy who re-
sorts to such makeshifts as pins.
In a return just presented to parlia-
ment the total of the land forces of the
British crown at home and abroad on
the active list is given as 445,731 as
compared with Germany's 100000.
DR.. Mark l. Knapp of New York
diagnoses organic diseases by stripping
the patient and observing the lines and
shadows which the internal organs
produce on the skin during respiration.
Brazil has new law which makes
every man of twenty-one to forty-four
subject to military service. Those who
object on religious grounds are abb
solved, but they lose all political priv
ileges.
The Chicago Tribune's current crime
records contain no less than twenty
eight suicides since the panic of last
October which were caused by the re-
sulting financial losses. 1t is for the
most part a list of bankers and bro
kers.
All the horses belonging to the late
British ambassador at Constantinople,
Sir Nicholas O'Conor, have been sold
at auction. The usual notice was put
in the local newspapers, but the cen
sor took exception, as there We're horses
in the list with the names Of Pasha,
Selim and Haroun, which he consid-
cred was offensive to Turks, and the
list had to appear without the names.
French people have decided views
regarding the responsibility Of men in
power. A butcher has been sent to
jail for year for supplying the army
with bad meat The damages assessed
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-06-09

by Parrs court rollowing a recent au-
tomobile accident cost the owners $685.
600. When the Opera Comique burned
in 1887 the managing director was
fined $4,000 and sent to prison for
three months
Professor William Hallock, dean of
the department of physics in Columbia
university, who has given some atten-
ton to Illuminating methods, has called
attention of New York scientists to a
compressed illuminant, which is called
Blaugas and which can be taken home
in steel bottles and fed into the burn
ers by means of little copper tubes no
larger than ordinary wires. The sub
stance is named after Blau, German
scientist who discovered it.
Kissing games are under the ban in
schools controlled by the London coun-
ty council, which has issued the fol-
lowing notice to the head teachers:
Attention has been drawn to the fact
that in some of the schools kissing
games are still practiced by the chill
dren. On medical grounds this prac-
tice is considered undesirable Head
masters and "Reminiscences of London
county council schools and managers
of nonprovided schools are therefore
to arrange that such games be dlscon-
tilaaxnd,"
Since the United States government
began to patronize expositions down to
the jamestown fair congress has APP
propriated a total of $2S, 752, PSI for
worlds fairs, of which only $4S5, 900
has been spent west of the Rocky
mountains, on the Lewis and Clark ex-
Position.
An industrious calculator has esti-
mated that $10,0O0OO0 YVES spent last
winter by the people of America for
the enjoyment of serious music-music,
that is to say, as it is known in our
concert halls and opera houses, not the
music of the comic opera stage and
vaudeville house.
Asphaltic layers have been found in
Syria, near Kferie, village about
twenty-five miles northeast of the port
of Latakia, along the road leading to-
ward Aleppo, which has been declared
by competent mining engineers to be
not only rich in asphalt, but also prac-
tically inexhaustible.
A meteor fell on the sailing vessel
Eclipse while on her way from New
castle to San Francisco and made a
big hole. The crew tried for four days
to keep the ship aioat and then aban-
doned it and took to the boats. Two
weeks later all but three, who had sue
cumbed to thirst, were rescued.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-06-09
Railroad Notes.

According to the latest reports Hud-
son tunnel trains are to be run over
the Pennsylvania as far as Newark
and a little later to Metuchen. On the
Erie it is said that the tunnel trains
will run out about eighteen miles as
soon as the open cut is ready over Ber-
gen Hill. Eighteen miles would bring
the trains to Great Notch on the
Greenwood Lake Division. Later on
the Erie will electrify for forty or fifty
miles out. About five months it is es-
timated will be required to finish the
digging of the Erie cut over the hill.
The 23rd street station on the 9Th
avenue route will be opened on June
18th.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-06-09

The Passing of the MIX Maid

In the personal inspection of diaries
the members of the board of health,
were struck with the fact that the
milkmaid of romance is a thing of the
past. The milking nowadays is gener-
ally done by men who get good wages,
if reliable men. From ten to twelve
dollars week and board is good pay
for farm hand, yet the dairymen say
the help problem is the hardest they
have to contend with even at that
figure. In one instance bright bux-
ON lass was found herding the COWS
but on inquiry it was found that she
was the business manager and not a
tactical extractor. One result of the
milk inspection was to raise doubt
in the mind Of the better half Of one
Of the health board. When he arrived
at home with a bottle of cream in one
pocket and a pound Of tutter in an
other she was deeply concerned
whether it was case of kleptomania
or just plain graft.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-06-09


resolution about the observance of
Fourth OF July, regulating the use of
ire arms and explosives. Alderman
TWining said he saw no reason for a
proclamation calling on citizens to
OBEY the ordinances and as no second
was heard the resolution fell.
The police made Seyenty-two arrests
curing the month of May. Justice
Towards report showed S133. So col
lected from fines and cost, of which
S42.9o was remitted, justices fees
announced TO S6460 and the town re-
Ine street lamp committee had a,
Dill oI S5ll.5O FOR removing one hum
dred and twenty-five gas lamp posts
ana Inc same was ordered paid. A
Dill OF SllS35 for mantles furnished
curing June and July last was referred
TO the counsel, as the committee did
not think it a proper charge.
Sewer bills included Sl2. 727 for An
tonic Costa and 81 1916. As for Williams,
Proctor & Potts, and S114 to d, Frap-
well for gettings rights of way.
jacob Rosen was ordered paid $3.50
for right of way, also 500 to Della
FlenOut, after she makes a proper
voucher.
Alderman Revere asked if any ex-
aminations had been made of the title
to the lots.
Former Judge Cutler, who was pres
ent, said that it was too expensive to
search the titles for S25 transactions,
but search is made in case of large
tracts. Bargain and sale deeds are
taken for the rights of way.
On motion OF A lderman Dav the
clerk was instructed to write Mrs.
Mast that it was impossible to use the
FOUNTAIN she had offered the town.
There seems to be no place for it.
On motion of Alderman Meslar, a
ommlssion of five persons was or
dered appointed by the Mayor to as
SlSt IN the location of the new post
office. Mayor Bennell named as such
OmmlsSiOn-PostmaSt Clarke, A.
ii. Vernam, FL. NJ Smith, George G.
Smith and ID. p. Mcclellan.
The ordinance repeating the night
scaVenger ordinance was passed. The
ordinance amending the fire ordinance
went over for another month. The
ordinance TO change the name Of Wa
ter street from the railroad track to
the town limits to Evergreen avenue
was read and put on third reading.
Alderman Revere opposed the ordi-
nance, because the bridge is not a suf-
ticient point for a change of name.
The street has been known as Water
street for a hundred years and divi-
sions make lot of trouble, as shown
by DeHart street and Wetmore ave-
nue., Boykin street and Miller road,
etc. The name avenue is, hardly APP
plicable and there exists no reason to
alter the name
Alderman MOwery said the property
owners wanted the name changed and
they are good judges of what they
want. Alderman Meslar proposed
that the name of the whole street be
changed, but Alderman Mowery said
the owners Of the lower portion were
satisfied with the name. The change
was made by a vote of i've to four.
Those who voted for the change we're
Aldermen Day. Mowery, Arnold, Tay-
lor and Conkling.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-06-09

Never use very strongly scented flow
ers for the table. Such flowers as
gardenias, stephanotIs and hyacinths
should be avoided Their strong per
fume in hot room makes some peo-
pie feel quite faint. while 1t takes all
appetite away from others.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-06-09

The General Explosives Company
whose plant above Wharton was par
italy wrecked by an explosion some
months ago has been notified by the
State Railroad Commission that it
cannot maintain a powder plant so
near the railroads as was the case
there. The machinery is being shipped
to Canada.