The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-09-24
DRIFTWooD

DRIFTWO OD |. An s',. Iowa woman says thst heaven ls niIed with pianos; But: If amateurs on earth weli-we'ii choose some other route for the hereafter. owner Of an autcmobiie he begins to learn what q useful tool the monkey wrench is.washington Post. ,.. whs o ~sas %osa. Ss sa. limited
 s AAtisafa Georgian. (Presume that both of the above RnasraiErsPhers ns i have their own ears 1udg- ings of same)
 L. And now its Nat Goodwin suing Max folks in their domestic life get along as sereneiy as bag full of cats.
 Philadeiphia demands faster street ly is going. to rub her eyes and actually wake up.
 make all her dresses from discarded umbrella covers. When she wants peekaooo waist we presume she brings into service one of those dainty little O't~ -e-SH PeioSo's.
 The reason some men don't have any last words is because their wives are with them at the time of their death.
 If the baseball season wasn't over wed say that the baseball batter likes batter cakes for breakfast. which is mr T an rs,nSn nS woEss s, than my psrty,, says s truth.
 Mr. Taft was fifty-one on the 18th anst. Figuratively speaking Bryan spanked spa him just that many times on And speaking along that line. we would pause to state that if Bill Taft fSs fSsr sssnSs fahss an Afriesn hunt none of theyll instantly take him for one of sneir number and come and play with Conditions in the south's great min eral district around Birmingham are getting brighter every day. Let the eagle scream!
 Also. Glory Be--when we get air. ships we won't wake up suddenly from a Pullman berth and think we are at stopped to take water
 Live on the square if you would round out your days happily.
 Some times when a man unexpected ly meets an old flame he wants to hot-foot it away to the tall timbers. Mebbe people would take advice more readily # 1t was something they had His doctor says that Aeronaut Wright will be up again in six weeks. pr course he'll De Pup again." that's his business.
 Whats the matter silas! Be ye worried about the rent" go1ps %Yss. sarah \ the her rent ip Marguerits's not asoin' ter stan for it."
 Do, you think you could earn Well, my. dear. I--I could at least the goods for your peekaboo waists" When your wife first saw Niagara
 ms sRs dsFnsk SSs snsden death could strike her speechless." Give credit where credit is due, But give money where credit is due
 light.
 
 Did you ever in your life meet a girl --yho if you said anything about her shoes would fail to remark that they were mile too big for herr
 A Disturbed DomiciIe. Nav an auntie's making clothes from
 mornin' until night.
 cakes pasiktin Sith ali pp her mgss an Paw is fairly .hustlin' gettin' money For were tryin' to get cordelia off
 to College
 She's got three trunks O dresses and
 a. ton of things to eat
 NsffSTai aofSpiiio%s 1Ssi sweet@ e.aoon' ana cute Everything ten girls could use; her For we're tryin'to get cordeiia off
 to College.
 It breaks my heart to think about the When Cordelia from the Country
 comes back changed as changed Her head all stuffed with German.
 French and notions from Farce For Cordelia's goin' off to College.
 Darts At Drift.
 Did you ever in your life see a woman who could sneeze gracefully" asks Drift Armstrong. Not that we sT ssn ssa sat wSsts nsf tha maa sSF tAa' mat
 Washington Herald.
 
 In Sundays Montgomery Advertiser 'Driftwood Armstrong remarked: '"rhe blue eyed blondes, brown eyed brunettes and powdered and per fumed darlings will be seen on the girls of Montgomery are good---in fact too good to be true-in some cases" We are surprised at the last remark, Phil What have the dear