The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1908-12-05

saw him in this position, he would tel
you that "ould Habus Corpus was
chewin' his cud." Jim could meyer bear
the sight of Corney since one eventful
day on which Corney, employed by the
crown, prosecuted some four or five
men, of which jim was one, for taking
part in a proclaimed land league meet
ing" To make Jims love of Corney
still less, Jim on the evening of that
day took drop too much and. totter-
ing down the road. he stood before Cor
neys house and delivered himself thus:
"Abhor the sword, stiglnatize the sword
| Jim knew the whole of Meagher's adj
dress on the above subject by heart,
! but on this occasion he used words of
! his own and thus went ON: No, me
boys, be the sword we will cut way
to freedom through all the landlords
and ould Habus Corpus in existence y
A full stop and Jim, having exhausted
himself, makes a rush for Corney's hall
door, and, banging the knocker loudly,
he brings the housekeeeper to the door,
rs ould Habus Corpus at home?"
mo, yeh drunken scut.'
Don't Scut me, me fine woman, bud
tell yer master" Numbered Jim, that
| spake not TO him in the language ov
| fiowery eloquince. bud in the plane.
simple language ov me Utmost heart:
tell him that I'll scatter his ashes to
the four quarters ov the world whin l
lay hands on him"
Corney got Jim arrested for being I'M
der the influence and for abusive Ian
guage, and the bench fined poor jim
10 shillings. | see Corney in his office.
He is seated before table covered
over with legal documents. On a chair
nearby sits a client, his hat held be-
L., I, t.
the exponent of the law Corney takes
up a clean sheet of paper and, dipping
a quill pen into the ink bottle, says abb
Tuptly:
Nov, Flaherty, state your case, and
for goodness sake stick to fact; the
law wants hard facts, not hearsay.
remember a case in which | Shone con-
spicuously--oh, it does not matter, go
on"
"Yis. sor."
When his client had stated his case,
Corney would peruse what he had
written. and no matter how good a case
his client had, Corney would act thus:
After slowly reading over the docu-
ment before him, he would rest his
head on his hands for ten minutes, and
then he would suddenly rise from his
chair, and pushing the document to the
end of the desk would say:
by the shades of the Great Lycur-
gus" it was Conveys only curse, as he
lived by the law, he swore by the law
but you have bad case, and | can
not save you" and delivering himself
thus, he would walk over to the win
dow, and placing his two hands behind
his back. he would fix his eyes on a
large board on the other side of the
street, on which was written. "Molo-
ney's Cut Plug" COrney consulted that
board in all his cases. He stands at
the window for full quarter of an
hour, and then taking his snuff box
from his waistcoat pocket, he taps the
lid, and taking a pinch. comes back
again to the desk with the words:
"A COMPOUNDED bad case. and, my
dear friend OConnell himself. could
not save you" (Corney bows his head
as he mentions O'Conner's name).
However, I-state your case again.
and lay stress on the main points. I
remember a case in which the learned
judge complimented me on the clear
ness of-ohI it don't matter-go on
''Yis, yer honor"
When the case was stated again
Corney would place his hand on his
bald head and repeat: by the shades
of the great Lycurgus but you have
not a leg TO stand upon. However, I'll
see what Blackstone says" and TAX
ing down that ponderous volume he
pretends to peruse it. After few min
utes he shuts it up with
Il could not take your case, for it
would ruin my reputation. Good day,
Flaherty.'
Good day. yer honor, an I'm sorry
for iv yeh cudn't save me nobody cam"
and Flaherty rises to 60
Stay moment, Flaherty," and Cor
ney places one finger on his, chin.
Tell me who is the attorney for the
other side?''
Moran, yer honor"
"Ohl the addle pate Moran. Ha,
Flaherty, there is hope" and Corney
brings down his fist on the desk with
bang. I'll brewbeat him, Flaherty,
I'll f1abergast him. 1 remember a case
in which l browbeat the most learned
lawyer of our time so much that he
could not tell his own name. 1t was a
case of-oh' it does not matter, Fla
heTty.''
"Yis, yer honor"
.Tll take your case"
Thank yer honor"
There is no denying that it's the
worst case in my experience. but if any
man wins it I will, and, Flaherty-''
'Yis yer honor"
IF ] win you are to tell everybody
that it was all owing to my inventive
genus, my browbeating qualifications"
"Yis, sor. yer inventive qualifica-
shuns an yer browbeating ganius
shure, everywan knows about thin"
And, Flaherty.'
"Yis, yer honor"
My fee is a guinea if ] lose, and
two if I win. It's giving my services
for nothing, you know"
''Shure. yer honor is the only lawyer
ever knew that gave his invintive
qualificashuns and browbeating ganius
for nothin' Long life to yeh. Mr.
Fahy; an evry wan says yeh will end
in the high coorts."
More improbable things have hap
pened Flaherty," and Corney sinks
into his seat with a complacent air,
and his client departs with a broad
grin on his face, muttering to him
self
His browbeating ganius and invint-
i've qualificashuns are Internal clear at
two guineas.
His brother lawyers Corney never
made any freedom with. Educated at
Trinity college. Dublin, Corney imaS-
ined that lawyers who studied any
where else were not educated men, AMI
not well posted in legal knowledge. He
was in the habit of enumerating all
the great men who graduated at Trini-
ty and he always wound up with the
words:
Butt and Fahy were the greatest
i