davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
Wfe's Fat Sister Steals Laugh
BeIongingto Joke, Causing Roav

Hereafter washington Baltimore Will
be compelled 20 divert his histrionic
talent to other channels than his home.
After a visit TO the Juvenile Court yes
terday with his wife, washington Bal
timore was firmly convinced by Judge
De Lacy that even the sacred gift Of
humor may be carried too far. so far.
IN fact. as to land he humorist con-
siderably nearer trot. bic than he ever
anticipated getting.
Washington Baltimore appeared in
the Juvenile Court IN the role Of Wit
ness. his wife's sister having charged
a "pussonal fren" Of the family with
having called her numerous diversified
and opprobrious names without use or
Justification
TIE wifes sister marche1 heavily TO
the witness stand amid a violent sen
sation that evidently caused i.er much
qualification She was large. not
plump or chubby, but u1de- Nv large
She was CARRIED in an attir, r s loud
ness bordering on actual ~. 7;ty. and
her voice possessed = 5elV I'd chesty
nervousness that carried IN It the
suggestion Of physical strength
"Pussonal Fren'" Laughed.
She explained that she had been out
rageously insulted by that fresh III
kid" as she termed the "pussonal
fren," said friend having delivered her
self Of much loud and hysterica, laugh
ter while she Che wife's sister, was
passing the Baltimore house, and fol-
lowed II up with abuse when the latter
turned to demonstrate.
'Ah knows Aim fat jedge." puTed
the complainant. giving a tired look
ing feather in her hat a vicious shove
TO change It's drOOp over her right eye.
"Ah amt no way proud o. nah looks.
but, jedge. dat amt no ell foah a
fresh young kid TO laff-
I quite agree with you," replied
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
GOtham'S Eye for Sheath Gowns

The clinging and accurate embrace of
that mysterious article of feminine ap-
parel known as the Sheath" gown, ac-
cording to sundry OF our New York
contemporaries who are not afflicted
witt short-sightedness, is ] -rticuIarly
noticeable about the surf at Atlantic
City. Ladies there, according to the
same authorities, wear garments cut
very high, or very low, according as
they are viewed from the ground up
ward or from the head downward And
every now and again, it is reported, one
appears arrayed in bunting of red,
white and blue, which, when wet, has
an effect rather more startling than
patriotic.
We cannot help believing that New
York would be helped in forming a
judgment of things at Atlantic City by
e real visit to that celebrated resort
Yet we confess a fear the great metrop-
oils would be disappointed at finding
that the bathing suits worn at the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
BRYAN LEADS GOAT
AS KNIGHTS WATCH
Too Heavy to Ride Animal in Ini-
tiation Into Ak-sar-ben,
in Omaha.

OMAHA, Neb-. July 2s.-William Jen-
nings Bryan, who has fguratively rid
den Il Democratic donkey for some
twelve years, swapped steeds last night
when he was initiated into the Knights
of Ak-sdr-ben. and Of necessity grew
familiar with the lodge goat II was
decreed. however. that Mr. Bryan was
too heavy 20 actually ride the billy. "
and, as a substitute, he led that dOcile
animal around the hall, inspired by the
tune of "Tammany' and the cheers OF
5000 enthusiastic knights.
The Knights Of Ak-sar-bcl Of Omaha
number among their membership nearly
half Of the business men OF Nebraska
and some from all sections Of the COun-
try. The initiation OF MI Bryan, there
fore. was OF much moment. and mis-
goat-leading stunt was as interesting
as a Presidential campaign
One experience consisted in being
bIindfolded with fifty other Democrats
and sent through a long tunnel. dark,
rough, AID perilOus- At its end was
the kingdom OF the earth arranged
in this instance as the White House
The initiation was preceded by a din
ner.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
Seeing Washington With The Times Guide
No. LX.-ARMY AND NAVY CLUB

fore its erection the club had q house a
iew blocks farther down on C street
This house is large and comfortable
and during the winter many Of Uncle
Sans famous warriors are wont 10
gather around the big roaring FIRE in
The library and swap fighting yarns.
Dewey has related 10 more than one
conSenial gathering the manner in
which he annihilated the Spaniards at
Manila, and Fighting Bob Evans is al
ways welcomed for the store Of sea
stories Of foreign cliTcs which he has
slowed away.
Only once a year does 3he club at
tempt anything in the nature Of a vide
opsI house. and that as on New Year
after The reception at the White House.
II is said that the club used to have
ladies' nights regularly until one night
an old sea dog came down tive stairs
from the billiard room swearinc; a blue
streak over his III luck, 10 the aston
ishment of score OF matrons seated
IL the reception room.
"Ir the club house they have many
trophies of the prowess Of crr. soldiers
ard sailors. Just inside the door is a
small rapid-hring gun. taken from one
Il the demolished Spanish cruisers
which made Dewey's acquaintance that
fine aIay morning ten years ago, and
near BY is the siren whistle with which
Admiral Cerv ePa's flagship used to spill;
the afr
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

nTFE Army and Navy Club felloW
tourists. is on your left. 1t Is
thu Washington stopping place
Of officers when they come to town on
,,erio5ical visits and the loafng place Of
many others who are in Washington
permanently. It Is one Of the most
axcl,sive clubs in the city. for its MEM
bArebtn Is restricted to commissioned
officers OF the army and navy, members
Of the LOYAL Legion. and few other
military societies and graduates of
either the military or naval academies
THE club was incorporated as the
ARMY and Navy Club in 1891. but it
existed before that rs the United Ser
vice club. The latter was Incorporated
in 1851. Lieut.. Gen. John NJ Scnofeld
was the first president Of the Army and
Navy Club.
Major Gen William P. DuvaH is the
present president of the club II has
!, 10 resident and nonresident members.
Numerous members of this club are also
members of the famous Metropolitan
Club. in fact the latter was started by
members Of the Army and Navy Club
These two, with the Cosmos Club. form,
a triumvirate in Washington clubs.
This club house was built especially
for the Army and Navy Club. AID BE-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
EMIGRANTS' HOME.

Probably the most perfect Institution
in the world for the care Of cimgrants
IS the AUswanderer Halleu. erecte,t
within the last few years At the NeCdel.
a suburb Of Hamburg. Il is the shell or
a miniature city equipped TO satisfy
every desire, whether physical, esthetlc.
or spiritual. OF 400 souls. It's twO-scOre
or more neat buildings, its green plats
and flower beds. occupy an inClOsed area
more than twice as large as Madison
Square, New York city, or above four
teen acres and cost approximately
500 600 II is an Illustration OF the sci
en-ific method Of supplying the needs Of
life In this odd city. whose pOpula-
ton changes on an average every three
DAYS, the inhabitants are lodged In
large. light, well-ventilated dOrmitOries.
e0uiuped with neat galvanized bed
sreads and fed in common dining rooms
with food cooked in large kitchens in a
most scientific and clearly style.-Out-
look
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
KISSING OF BRIDE
RESULTS IN RIOT
Young Husband, Angered by Oscu-
lation, Tries TO Throw
Guests Into Street.

NEW YORK. July 2S.-Too much kiss
ing OF the bride by the male guests at
a reception following the wedding or
Miss Bertha Segowitz 70 Paul ROscn-
kus, IN their new nome, at SO North
Seventh street, Williamsburg. Sunday,
caused a riot Il is the Lithuanian Gus
tom for all the male guests 70 kiss the
bride. and for a time the young hus-
band did not object
At o'clock IN the morning. however.
after the guests had put on their hats
and coats. preparatory 10 leaving. they
formed IN a line and asked for Just one
more kiss" This so angered -he young
husband that he peremptOriiy ordered
the guests TO the street. and when they
refused to 90 without the kiss he
started 10 throw them out
The fight soon became general. and
the reserves OF the Bedford avenue Do
lice station were called out ROschkus
and I'VE men were arrested
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Another Herbert and Smith opera,
THE FOrtune-Teller." is the medium
OF real entertainment az the New Ma
tional Theater, where the Aborn Opera
Company Is playing its fourteenth week
OF tie summer engagement. This tune
full musical connection is admirably
staged and exceptionally well sung
The cast is a large one and each mem
Der does full justice 10 the part assign
ed 70 him or her. AS was the case in
preceding productions Of old operas,
the comedy lines have been brought
down 20 date. and in the hands OF
Charles W Meyer as Fresco and Her
man Hershberg as Boris they do not
fail to score.
The prima donna roles Of Musette
and Irma are in the keeping OF Blanche
Morrison. This singer has a charming
soprano voice. and what IT lacks in
power and volume it makes IN in sweet
ness and Clearness OF euunciatiOn,
which, after all. is the better 90 the
two She leaves but little 70 be de-
sired in the WY she sings her songs
Another who further endears herself
10 opera patrons By clever work is
Edith Bradford. who has the soubiette
role OF Mile. POmpOm. Miss Bradford
injects even more animation into the
part than is her wont, and the result
is a pleasing Interpretation Of the some
what secondary role.
Huntington May IS seen at his best In
the part Of Sander. the Gyp-v musician
His makeup is almost ideal. and he
enters into the spirit OF tie role more
than usual His song. My Gypsy
Sweetheart" was one Of tire more pro-
nounced hits OF the opening perform
ance last evening. William Scluster IS
well placed as Count Berezovski. and
Harry Davies makes an acceptable
Ladislas-
Two or the distinct features Of this
weeks production OF the popular opera
IS the drum corps composed OF Dixie
Crane. Harriet Springer. Bertha VIII
son. Mile Murray. Ma Ward, and
Marie Lyons. and the siGs;ns OF do
You Follow Me2' by Meyer. Hersh-
berg. and Schuster. Both were giveT
repeated encores. Two Of the recent
graduates from the chorus ranks, Mil
lie Murray. as Vanlnka, and Trixie Ca
dix. as Jan. make the most favOra bio
impressions of those in minor parts
IN brief. the opera. as sung by the
Aborn company. s more than worth
while hearing.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
THE PEACOCK KINGDOM -

The little native state of Mourbhanj.
known as the Peacock kingdom is
the most northerly Of the tributary
states Of Orissa. and native chronicles
relate that the principally was found
ed more than 2.000 years ago The chief
emblem or signature is a peacock.
which is held sacred. and hence the
killing CT this heraIdic bird is strictly
forbidden throughout the state The
state has an area Of 4243 square miles
and the country is varied IN SOIL ana
scenery. It abounds in rich valleys. but
a vast extent is clolhed with primeval
forest The maharajah of Mourbhanj
IS an enlightened prince and administers
his state on Modern British hnes--Con-
sular Reports
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
AID TO THE INJURED.

There was an oninOus stiffness in the
house as the great physician entered
and made his way TO his patients
room. Hastilv he made his eNamina-
ZION. his eyes showing the deep sym
pathv he felt.
MAIDEN" he said. 81 am indeed
sorry to see YOU IN such condition as
mis- What has happened? Have You
been run over by a motor carr
with infinite difficulty and obvious
main. the patient reused herself, and
Inc white lips slowly moved.
mo. doctor" she moaned- But 1
tainted in church and was brought to
nv some friends who ave been study
inc first aid 10 the injured
Then the great physician took out his
notebook and entered the case in the
..,-erv serious COlumn.-NeW York
Herald.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
ELABORATE BURIAL
FOR PET PUG DOG
"Ou- Darling" Has a Fine Chest
nut Cabinet ari the Services
of an Undertaken.

WILMINGTON, Del, July San
elaborate burial Of a pug dog with all
OF the ceremonies incidental 10 the fu-
neral OF a person has become known.
The animal which vas fourteen years
oiG. was buried with all OF this poEap
by Mr.. and Mrs. William ?. Perkins.
an old couple OF Ills West Eighth
street.
The dog was laid out in a fine chest
nut coffin that had been made especial
y. a silver plate on the cover bear
ing the inscription, "Our Darling" To
add to the farmality a prominent VIII
mington undertaken had charge OF the
whole proceedings.
The dog since its birth had been a pet
IN the Perkins family, and was called
Petite Perkins" Il regularly had its
place al the dinner table, and pos
sessed its own china plate and cup and
saucer.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
MARINE INSURANCE.

Marine insurance is the oldest kind
OF modern insurance. It's principles
were first employed in the fourteenth
century by the merchants OF Barcelona.
IN Spain. when that city was the capital
OF the kingdom OF Catalonia. and when
its hardy mariners were second 10 none
in the world. About the same time and
also at Barcelona. the famous code OF
maritime laws was promulgat which
is the foundation OF the present shipping
Laws Of every country.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Lucky that Frank B. Kellogg wasn't
nominated for Vice President. made
Chairman Of the national committee. ap-
pointed Federal judge, and called 70 the
position Of Attorney General. With all
those jobs on his hands he just couIdn' [
have found the time for this extra
skInning Of the octopus. in which he has
been enlisted
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
BRIDE OF 7 MONTHS
INSTANTLY KILLED
Brooklyn Girl Drinks Cyanide or
Potassium, Mistaking II for
Brandy.

NEW YORK, July 2S.-AIrs. katherine
Kelley. Of Brooklyn, bride Of only seven
months. mist2 king a cup containing
cyanide Of potassium for brandy, which
she had been ordered 10 drink Dy her
physician, drained the contents or the
cup today and was instantly killed.
The young woman. not yet twenty
one, was the wife OF James Kelley, a
well-to-do jeweler. and the young couple
had not yet finished their honeymoon
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

shore are really modest, though neat,
well fitting and, as they say in Paris,
chic
Of course, wet garments fit rather
closely; and so, they say, does the
sheath gown. But did anyone ever see
a real woman (ofF the stagel wearing a
real sheath gown, at Atlantic City or
anywhere else? We never did.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

The French President went on board
a Russian cruiser. to make a social call.
The boat didn't sink or blow up. but
none the less. such recklessness with
lives which are important TO whole ma
lions ought to be discouraged.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
INDIAN POETS

India would seem TO be a pleasant
land for minor poets. since the Ralah
Of Kampur recently sent out invitations
10 all the poets of India 10 a gathering
in his state About 200 poets accepted
the invita- .iOn, and some Of the poets
recited their own compositions. His
highness was too unwen to be present.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
MINISTER A6ANDONS
"MERCENARY CHURCH.
Most Preachers Out-for the Money,
He Declares Thinks Chris
tianity on Decline.

AKRON. Ohio. July 2S.-Most Of the
ministers of today are out for the money
said the Rev. Arthur Gee, formerly OF
Philadelphia. IN IN address to his flock
Of the Arlington Baptist Church here.
II am not out for the money. and III
quit" And he did
Today his congreE1 zion is digesting a
few. remarks Nj Gee made on leaving
the ministry. They were:
There is too much COmmercialism in
the churches. ChUrchianity- IS tai king the
place of Chr stianity. I won't accept
any creed TO bind my faith I want
liberty Of church and freedom TO preach
7 can't get these in churches. That's
why I quit
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Persons leaving tie city for
short or long period during the sum
mer may have The Times mailed
to them at the following rates:
Daily, cents a week; daily and
Sunday, ii cents . week All mail
subscriptions are payable strictly in
advance.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

It is reported that American tourists
abroad are not riding in the first-clas5
coaches this year. II this is trae there
will be small excuse for the foreign
railroads continuing that particular
method Of separating foolish persons
from their money
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Another outrage pcrpetrated by VvnC-
zuela: the benighted country has &C
tually tried to prohibit cigarettes after
the fashion Of Indiana. Can't the en-
Hghtened powers get together and stop
these infections?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Europe IS worrying about why the
Americans are not coming across with
the usual supply Of ready money which
helps so much. Con6dentalIy. Europe
should know that the very rich are saw
ing to meet their tire bills, the middle
class are trying 10 get enough ahead 10
pay the first installment on the price
OF one, and the poor. well. the pOr are
the ones who haven't yet been lucky
enough 10 get over here from Europe.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

II our Dutch friends have a DISPOSE
ton to spank Castro, they needu't
worry about our willingness to let them
proceed. To find somebody else will
ing to undertake a job that is so thor
oughIy needed, would be a big stroke OF
luck.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Pardon the aIIusion. but that good old
friend the war cloud in the Balkans"
has been fshed out Of the moth bas and
patched up, and really makes a very
creditable appearance.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
Baltimore Tells Funny Story.

washington Baltimo' wus teliin' me
a funny story, yonner. 'Twus sunfin'
'bouten q aig- He done toll dat story
so funny. jedge. dat All jes' couldn't
help fun latin right out"
why did you call the woman names?"
asked his honor.
The "pussonal fren's" eyes rolled in
frenzied hysterical circles, and her voice
came in a short gasp.
''S-she called me a souah faced cat.
She explained.
Then the funny story teller with the
name Ike railway schedule was led
gently 70 the witness stand and de-
posted there. He mOdeStiy admitted
cOrding to him, are funnier than Mark
Twain
''Yeh see. jedge," he added apolOget-
ically, "Ah wUs VIII de MINISTRIES Onct.
an da's whar All learned all dem funny
stories. Homes she couldn't help laf-
I'm at me-"
he offered 10 tell q short story as
proof OF his ability, but his suggestion
was coldly declined by the court.
she may not have laughed at your
wife's sister" said the court, but she
was certainly rude to her. In future
would recommend that you refrain
from relating such excrutiaungly hil-
lariOus stories until your relatives. es-
pecially your wtfe's sister, are suffi-
ciently far removed not TO udsinterpret
the laughter that viii follow their
telling"
The ''pussonal fren" was put on pro-
baton for two months.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

In addition TO being big enough 10 &C
commodate the whole country, Texas Is
Offering inducements 10 the whole Coun-
try 70 come. II has refused 10 go dry
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Really. Mr.. Weatherman, while will
ing to have the drought broken. nobody
was praying for a repetition Of Noah's
episode.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
CeIebrates Eirhtiet: Birthdau

~ J Frederic NAY. enc Of ne old
est members Of the sumner colony Al
Bar HarbOr, celebrated her eightfeth
birthday there yesterday 4 large
number Of friends called 10 offer their
cOngra -ulations during the day.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

What's this? Harriman's turning up as
dominant factor IN the Gould railroad
systems2 MI Loeb. fetch in the big
stick, quick.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

A < Alexander. OF the Bureau Of
American Republics, returned 70 Wash
ingt0u yesterday morning from Den
yer, where he went 70 join the director
Of the bureau, John Barrett, during the
iatters illness He remained in the city
Only a few hours. leaving last evening
Tor Hillsboro. Va, IN the Blue Ridge
mountains, for brief visit 70 Mrs.
Alexander who is spending the sumner
there
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
Mrs. ]. Franklin Bell Going
to Greenbrier White for
Fortnight
Will Visit Mrs. Darlington.
General Darlington Now
at West Point.

Mrs. Bel. wife Of Gen. J. Franklin
Bell. win leave Washington Thursday
for the GrecnDTic- White Sulphur
Springs, for a I've weeks visit % her
brother-in-law and sister, Cen and Mrs
Ernest Darlington, who have taken Il
cottage there for the summer
Just at present General Darlington Is
making the annual inspection Of West
Point Military Academy, but VIII Join
Mrs Darlington, Miss Darlington, and
his son. cadet az West Point, at the
springs about the first.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Mrs Waller Wells is among the
Washington people summering az the
Greeubrier White Sulphur Springs Va
Mrs. Wells. who is the daughter OF
Judge Gibson. Of Tennessee is q de-
scendanr Of POcOhOntas. through the
Ethridge branch She is a-so a relative
OF Mrs Sherman. wife Of the Re1ubli-
can Vice Presidential nominee.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Mr.. and MIS- Horace Westcott will
leave Washington Friday for North
Haven, for a stay OF several weeks. be
fore going 10 York Harbor.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

M and MIS- Charles " Stewart and
son have gone 20 Asbury Park for q
stay CT several weeks
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Mr. and Mrs r. Ross Perry have
closed their home on ? street and have
opened their cottage in Florida Row.
Greenbrier White Sulphur SPRINGS. for
the season
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Good evening. has the reform wave
landed on you yet?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Mr. and Mrs. Paul Pearsau were the
weekend guests OF Mrs PearsaI's par
ents, Rear Admiral and Mrs. Philip
Hichborn, at the Griswold. New London
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Miss SaIie Carter, Of Washington, IS
among the recent arrivals at Rock
bridge Alum Springs, Va.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

The Rev. edward 5 Dunlop and son
have gone 10 Atlantic City for a Few
weeks, and are guests at the Roxbor-
OUgh-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28
Goes to Richmond.

Miss Kate Bayliss has gone 10 Rich
mond 10 visit her sister, Mrs. Charles
Il Beal, OF 2216 East Marshall street.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

In tho audience at the opening PER
Torrance Of The FOrtune-Teller' at
nc New National Theater last evening
were Mr.. and Mrs P Lee Philips A,r-
ans Mrs John Naury. jr-- Miss GeorE Ia
Knox. senior Don Julio ". Baz. OF tre
Mexican embassy, and several othe~
prominent washington folk still in
town.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Prof. and Mrs Joseph FineheI are
spending The sumner al Natural Bridge.
Va
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-07-28

Miss Norma Caps has returned TO
her home in Norfolk, after a short
visit 70 friends.