The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1908-10-16

snow fickers.' Soy, hows de brakes down dat
way? De last time me an de Honyak wuz dere,
de connie elevated us from the inside of a empty
inter a cactus garden, four hundred and e%ighty-wan
miles from grub. We walks de ties fer tree weeks.
Den We hits Albuquerque an / near had tub beat
a carpet tub git grub. De ole gurrul would NV
had me woikin' only she grubs me foist. befoar she
brings out de woik tools. Den | digs"
"Dere's nuttin' like dat, dere, desc days. Dey
leaves de pies an eats out in de opun an de BIO
wot can't freeze to wan meal an hour don't git no
soft woids from dis lulu
That animated, brilliant and engrossing roper
toire was only one of several thousand of the same
variety, which comprised hobo "reminiscences told
by members of the great army of the unwashed
which assembled in convention not many months
ago at Clifford, ILL.,, for the National Hobo re-
union.
Small tramps, fat tramps, tall tramps, short
tramps, red-headed ones, blondes, colored tramps,
low-down tramps, tramps with high personal re-
gard for their v~ocations, and others who were
sneaky and might be caught working, were it not
for the watchfulness of their brothers, all assem-
bled in solemn conclave to worship their goddess,
Rest.
These sons of rest-but they were not all sons,
there were several daughters of rest-all paid their
respects to the cause for which they are fighting
In their own tactless way. They, for the nine
teenth time, swore loyalty to the associations mot
to: Work, washing and worry are weapons of the
devil and he who would knowingly or Intentionally
v - tLC dSoSSht " LIE ~ III tudl
manner, he 1t is who Is no true Son of Rest"
Slothful Sam, President Weary Willie, Ragged
Rufus, Tattered Tom, Reeking Reginald, Dinky
Dan, the best dressed "bo' in the association;
Handout Hank, Pieface Peter, Looping Louie, Walk.
ing Walter, Prayed Francis, Mirthful Mike, Tin-Can
Teddy. and all the rest of the influential brethren
of the Fraternal Order of the Unwashed, were
there.
The attendance was as large as usual. There
were some missing, of course. Roll call revealed
the fact that Secretary Signing Sinkers was I'M
a%voidably detained by friends among the authori-
ties at the Desplaines street police station in Chi
cago. He was booked as a "vag," much to the I'M
washed chagrin of President Weary Willie, who in
the course of his opening address remarked hat
1t was 'De woist coise dat wuz ever put fort on dis
s~usietie, tub t'ink dat one NV de most necessary
poissons of de order should be compelled tub miss
dis intellergen' meetin'."
All the old officers of the association were re-
elected, the minutes of the meeting being inscribed
upon the brain of President Weary Willie until Sec
rotary Sinkers should be released from his sojourn
in Chicago. The members Of the association, the
most easily satisfied crowd on earth, then ad-
journed. This action consisted of the chief execu-
tive dropping into a sound sleep. Others did the
same.
The following day the annual games of the or
ganization we're given. There were several inno-
vations. hitherto not introduced. The long distance
snoozing contest drew out several hundred entries
and it required three days before the judges were
able to render a decision. Wakeful Wafies was
returned victor eventually, but up to the time of
writing he was still snoozing nolsily, utterly ignor-
ant of the honor which his happy faculty had
thrust upon him.
The ha~ndsomest hobo contest was captured by
Dinky Dan, who in a little address to tue slumber-
ing contestants in the long-distance sleeping con-
test, declared that in the absence of any prize, the
honor alone gave him plenty of satisfaction.