davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Poultry Fakes.

"Oh, yes," said the poultry farmer,
there are tricks in every trade! Take,
for instance, this old rooster here"
The rooster was old. There was no
denying it. He was as tough an old
rooster as ever graced the summer
boarders' table Of a New England
farm.
'Take this old rooster" said the
farmer, Selling paint brush. 'Black
up his feet Then break his breast
bone, so, with a long pair of scissors.
Then push the breast up high. What's
the result? A fine young turkeys
the result and knowing housewives
will scramble over one another to buy
him.
With harsh laugh the farmer turn
ed to a skeleton chicken. '"This bird
is regular skeleton, isn't she Z" he
said. "Now watch me. See, I lay
her on her back. Then I place this
heavy board on her breast. Then to-
morrow when I come to take her to
market the board will have made her
scraggy breastbone almost invisible,
and it will have given her very full,
plump sides-no breastbone, fat sides
the sure signs Of fat and tender
young chicken
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Magic and Poison Rings.

The ring began when man thrust his
finger through hole in pretty shell
and later learned to make rings Of
jet. The ring is very magical. Lord
Ruthven;7 who helped to kill Riccio,
gave Queen Mary a ring which was
sovran against poison, and she gener-
ously replied with the present Of her
fathers wonderful jeweled dagger, Of
French work, no longer in existence.
Whether Ruthven fooled with this
magnificent weapon in the affair Of
Riccio or used a cheaper article is I'M
certain. At all events, Mary based on
the ring that was an antidote to poi
son charge of sorcery against Ruth
ven. The Judges Of Jeanne dare re-
garded with much suspicion her little
ring of base metal, gift from her
parents, inscribed with. the sacred
names Jesus Marie.
1t was usual to touch the relics of
saints with rings. Jeanne dare said
that her ring had touched the body Of
st. Catherine, whether she meant Of
the actual saint or relic of the saint,
brought from Sinia to Fierbois. The
ring might contain a relic or later a
miniature. I fear that I do not be-
lieve in the virtues or vices Of poison
rings. Our ancestors practically knew
no poison but arsenic, and Carthagin-
ian science can scarcely have enabled
Hannibal to poison himself with a
drug contained under the stone Of a
ring.-Andrew Lang.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Beau Nash a. a Gambler,

When the late Earl Of T. was a
youth he was passionately fond Of
play and never better pleased than
with having Mr.. Nash for his antago-
mist. Nash saw with concern his lord
ships foible and undertook to cure
him, though by very disagreeable
remedy. Conscious of his own supe-
rior skill, he determined to engage
him in single play for a very consider
able sum. His lordship in proportion
as he lost his game lost his temper,
too, and as he approached the gulf
seemed still more eager for ruin. He
lost his estate. Some writings were
put into the winners possession. His
very eQuipage was offered as a last
stake, and he lost that also, but when
our generous gamester had found his
lordship sufficiently punished for his
temerity he returned all, only stipulat-
ing that he should be paid $4,000
whenever he should think proper to
make the demand. However, he never
made any such demand during his
lordship's lifetime, but some time aft
er his decease, Mr.. Nash's affairs being
in (sic) the wane, he demanded the
money of his lordship's heirs, who
honorably paid it without any hesita-
tion.-''History of Gambling In Eng
land.''
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
The Margin Of Profit.

'EThere was a general storekeeper,"
said a financier, "who was forced to
the wall by hard times and resolved to
make an assignment. He figured out
that he would be able to pay 40 cents
on the dollar Well, certain whole
saler that he had dealt pretty heavily
with heard of his plight and came post
haste to see him.
"'What! the wholesaler shouted.
Going to make an assignment! Pay
only 40 cents on the dollar! A pretty
state Of things this is!'
"'Calm yourself, Mr.. Wholesaler,
said the general storekeeper. 1T is true
am going to assign. These hard
times have played the very deuce with
me. And it's true I'm going to pay
only 40 cents on the dollar But all
your goods, it happens, are intact. Not
case has been opened, and they shall
be returned to you at once
"'What! shouted the wholesaler, an
grfer than ever. Return my goods!
Not on your life! l insist on my law
full 40 per cent, the same as the other
creditors Washington Star.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Supplement to
THE BEMIDJI DAILY PIONEER
Monday Evening September n, 1908
Reade's Dramatic Failures.

Reade's Dramatic Failures.
It was not until 1856, when Charles
Reade was forty-two, that he obtained
reputation as novelist, a reputation
to which he did not aspire, for it was
his ambition to be a dramatist. From
the beginning Of his career until the
last year of his life he wrote play aft
er play, every one of them a failure
and he alone refusing to believe it.. He
attributed their want of success to ev-
cry cause but the right one, and he
went on squandering the money gained
from his more successful novels on
the production of bad plays.r The ac-
tors are buffers, SIR" he would say,
''who have defiled my composition,
mixed ditch water with my cham
payne, murdered my work." and he
would pour out maledictions on the
heads of all who had anything to do
with the unfortunate piece, from seen
ic artist to super, never conceiving
that he himself was the sole culprit.
And yet, as his novels show, he had
dramatic ability of a high. order and
could produce the most thrilling eff
fects and situations. He wrote two or
three dramas in collaboration with
Tom Taylor and Dion Boucicault that
had brief success, but apart from
these he never wrote a play that met
with the slightest degree of popular
favor.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
An Unobservinq Thief.

Yosouf owned beautiful horse
which was very valuable. While 70.
souf was transacting business a thief
stole the horse. The owner shortly
afterward saw the thief leading his
horse and took him before the kaid, OF
Judge.
1.-THE horse is mine.' sturdily insist
ed the thief
In vain the other argued, and the
kaid was about to give his decision in
favor Of the villain when Yosouf ad
vanced suddenly, threw his cloak over
the horses head and demanded of his
enemy:
"Since you own the horse, tell the
kaid in which eye the animal is blind
''1n the left" said the thief making
a wild guess.
Yosouf looked toward the kaid trf-
umphantly ''He's blind in neither
eye" said he.
So the noble horse came into it's
rightful owners possession again, and
the wicked Arab was punished.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14

The cura tor Of the aquarium led the
reporter to tank where half dozen
starfsh tripped over the sandy bottom
on slim brown fingers.
"Grub time, boys" he said, and he
dropped into the tank six mussels.
The fish ran to the mussels. Each ap.
piled his stomach to the hinge at the
back Of the shell. Silence and immo
bility ensued.
1.-THE gastric juice of the starfsh,'
said the curator, 'is now melting the
hinges Of flesh that hold the musse
shells together. All, look, there's one
melted now. There's another. It's the
most powerful gastric juice in the
world
One by one, their hinges destroyed
the mussel shells opened, and into the
openings the starfsh thrust their stom
achs. More silence, more INN obility.
Then, little plumper at the heart
the starfsh went tripping daintily off
but the mussel shells lay open and
empty on the sand.-Cincinnati En-
Ol1irer
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14

|, hereby announce that | am a
candidate for the Republican nomi-
nation for representative from this
district, comprising Beltrami,
Clearwater and Red Lake coun-
ties.
believe fully appreciate the
importance and responsibility OF
this office. | have lived in the
northern part of Minnesota for
the last thirty years, and am
familiar with the needs of the
district. The present undevel-
oped condition of the northern
part of Minnesota is a shame on
the part of our legislature, mas
much, as, it is the cause of Ameri-
can people settling up the Domin-
ion of Canada to the prejudice
of our own country, which is
more than equally as good in soil,
rainfall and climate and nearer to
markets..
The first step toward develop
ment, I think is roads. The
principal part of the road work
should be done by the state be-
cause it is the party substantially
benefited. Little dabs of three
or four hundred dollars per town
ship per annum is of no avail in
the work that the state should
0 in the matter Of the develop
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
In Forbidden Places.

A very large mastiff at one end Of a
leash and very small girl at the other
end formed a combination which at
tracted the attention of casual pedes.
TRAN In quiet side street.
The little girl doubtless thought that
she was taking the dog out for an air.
Ing, but the big animal himself appear
ed to have the impression that he was
the leader Of the expedition. and, be-
yond question, the balance of power
was entirely on his side. He dragged
the girl along despite her scolding aid
expostulations at a pace which kept
her GREATNESS.
Suddenly, either from a whim Of his
own or because somebody had been in
the habit Of taking him there, he dart
ed through the swinging doors of a
corner saloon. The girl looked horri-
fed; but, clinging determinedly to her
end Of the leash, she followed her
charge, and as the doors swung shut
behind her the casual pedestrian heard
this exasperated remonstrance:
"Oh, darnfound it! Don't you know
ladies don't go there? It's only place
for Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
In the Taproot of an Oak.

l remember a curious incident con-
nected with the taproot of an oak.
This oak, good tree Of perhaps 200
years growth, was being fe',ed at
Brakeman wood when the woodmen
called attention to something peculiar
on the taproot. On clearing this Of
soil we found that the object was a
horseshoe of ancient make. Obviously
in the beginning an acorn must have
fallen into the hollow of this cast
shoe, and as it grew through the slow
generations the root filed up the. cir
Gle, carrying it down into the earth in
the process Of it's increase till at
length we found wood and iron thus
strangely welded. That taproot with
the shoe about it is now or used to be
a paperweight in the vestibule of
Brakeman Hall.-Rider Haggard.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
IVES WRIGHT.

ment of its principal part-north-
ern Minnesota.
Political demgogues have
slandered and libelled the good
name Of northern Minnesota by
the hair Drained cry DRAINAGE,
until central and southern Mime
sofa are prone to look at northern
Minnesota as if it were nothing
but a frog pond. Drainage is all
right in its time and place, and
there are sections where it is
absolutely necessary, but the
unmeaning cry of drainage by the
politician has given us a black
eye that it will take time to over
come. 1t has discouraged immi-
grafton.
Uppermost and above all, if l
am elected, I will in season and
out OF season, vote and strive for
substantial state aid for roads.
And l believe l fully realize the
fight l am up against IN that the
representation from the northern
part is meager compared with
the representation from the other
parts of the state. But the whole
legislature must be made to see
that the state roads are substan-
tial benefit to the whole state.
I earnestly solicit your support.
Respectfully,
Henry Funkley.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Names Of Flowers.

It Ks interesting to know how GER
tain flowers get their names Many
were named after individuals. For
instance, fuchsias were so called be-
cause they were discovered by Leo
nard Fuchs. Dahlias were named for
Andre Dahl, who brought them from
Peru. The camellia was so called for
missionary named Kamel, who
brought some magnificent specimens
Of the flower to France from Japan.
He called it the rose Of Japan, but his
friends changed it to camellia. Mag
nolias were named in honor Of Pro-
fessor Magnol de Montpelier, who
first brought the beautiful tree to
France from America and Asia. Be-
cause it trembled with the wind is
the meaning Of anemone. The Latin
word to wash is lavare, and lavender
received it's name because the Romans
put the flowers into water when they
washed to perfume their hands.-New
Orleans Times-Democrat.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14

county and their needs, and in SO
doing have conducted the office
for the whole county and not tor
any particular section.
If nominated and elected l will
give the duties of the office nv
closest personal attention, and
conduct the affairs of the office in
an intelligent manner.
At this time I wish to thank all
who have stood by me so faithfully
and loyalty in the past and hope
merit their continued support.
To those whom am not acquainted
with I hope to meet you some
day, l will appreciate work done
tor me by all who will kindly
give me their support.
Yours Truly,
= .-.-z.- r. " John Wilmann.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Bath Not Popular In Spain,

In the quaint Spanish city Of Tole-
do the traveller is shown upon the
banks of the Tagus below Wamba's
palace the alcove in which La Cava
was wont to battle until seen by Bod
erick, and her fate was none the hap
piest at the hands of the last of the
Goths. To this day she Is referred to
as an awful example Of the fate that
awaits those who dare to battle in
water too often. The Spanish woman
is none too liberal in her use of water
for personal cleanliness, preferPing oil
or some other medium.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14

| hereby announce to the public
my candidacy for the Republican
denomination for county auditor
to be voted upon at the primary
election, Sept. IS.
| have held the office of county
auditor for the past four years and
ir> asking for denomination and
election l come before the
,5ple as one who thoroughly
thrstands the work of this i'm
giant office.
/ believe in an economical ad-
nistration of the affairs of the
County, a just and equitable assess
ment of real and personal property.
During my term of office it has
been my aim to familiarize myself
with the different sections of the
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
The Roman Father,

A distinguished scholar was the
guest of one of the high schools of
Buffalo and was greatly amused, &C.
cording to a writer in the Commercial
Of that city, by the answer given by
one Of the pupils in the class in Roman
history to a somewhat exacting ques.
ton put by the teacher.
A lad was asked to state concisely in
one sentence the distinctive difference
between the society Of ancient Rome
and that Of the present day in Amer.
lea. After a moments reflection the
young fellow replied:
"The distinctive difference between
the society of ancient Rome and that
Of our day is that the father was the
head of the Roman family:
The whole class shared the visitors
enjoyment of the palpable although
probably unconscious hit
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Imagination.

Imagination.
"Just slap down a sketch of a drunk
en- husband sitting in wretched hove.
Of a home," requested the newspaper
editor, hurrying into the apartment Of
the lazy staff cartoonist.
The artist carelessly complied and
spraWled back in his chair.
Don't you think it would fill out
better if you were to sketch in a ia
bic and an empty whisky bother" in
quired the editor, gazing at the bare
figure.
"Oh, the readers will imagine the
booze part Of it, all rightv'
"Well, how about adding a broken
hearted wife and couple of ragged
children?"
unnecessary. The readers will
readily imagine. all that as part and
parcel Of such a scene"
'"Then," calculated the editor, tear
ing the sketch to bits, "then the read
ers can imagine the drunken man,
Washington Post.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Quite likelv,

II didn't see you at our euchre the
other night" said the bachelor.
NO." replied the young Benedict, las
far as euchre goes with me now, con-
slider home the right bower"
'"That's all. right while hearts are
trump, but suppose if clubs should
turn up it would be the left bower."-
Philadelphia Press.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Still Vacant.

He was a dude Of the would be
masher type, and, tripping down the
aisle Of the parlor car, he dropped into
a seat beside a pretty girl
'Nobody -er - occupying this seat
with you, miss" he queried.
With disdainful look, she replied in
tone redolent with sarcasm: "No, sir
Nobody yet Chicago News.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Not Good at Riddles.

A lawyer was questioning new
client, widow, the other day, about
her history. "My history" she replied,
lis simplicity itself. My first was the
happiness Of my life, my second was
goodness itself, my third"-
Excuse me, madam" interrupted
the attorney, ''but really we aren't here
to guess charades."
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Left Handed Finance,

He was young railroad man and
went the pace. He had to borrow
money to keep ''his end up" and he
fell into the clutches of a relentless
money collector.
II really am trying my best to pay
back the coin l owe you," he pleaded.
II don't see much evidence of it,
was the grim answer. what are you
doing?"
II am buying lottery ticket every
month";" answered the hopeful fnan-
cier.-San Francisco Call.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Sharpening a Pocketknife,

o'te@' PS111E19 EOVNVIN1JJTG.
Cutters have certain rules for sharp
ening razors, pocketknives, etc. "A
razor" said one Of the craft, "must
be laid fiat on the hone, because it is
hollow ground and requires a fine
edge. But pocketknife requires a
stiff edge, and the moment you ray it
fiat on stone, so as to touch the pol
ished side, you injure the edge. 1t
must be held at an angle Of twenty to
twenty-five degrees and have an edge
similar to a chisel."
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Sagacity Recognized.

"Our forefathers who framed the
constitution were men Of mighty in
telligence." ...
eyes," answered Senator Sorghum.
II am sometimes tempted to believe
that they knew as much about the con-
stitution as some Of the lawyers who
have since interpreted t."-Washing-
ton Star.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Wanted Them All.

Julia Ward Howe was once talking
with dilapidated bachelor, who re-
tanned little but his conceit. 1T is time
now" he said pompously, t'for me to
settle down as married man, but I
want so much. I want youth, health,
wealth, Of course; beauty, grace
eyes," said Mrs. Howe sympathetic
ally, 'you poor man, you do want them
ALL" q ~--.s- $50
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Art Improvement.

Mrs. De Richie Showing her home to
Mrs. WindfalD What do you think of
my Venus de Milo? Mrs. Windfall-
Amt It shame how careless servants
are! But couldn't you glue the arms on
again PUCK.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
DANGEROUS.

First Actor-I thought your next tour
was to have been through South A.
r1ca. Second Actor-It was, but the
company struck. One Of them had read
that an ostrich egg often weighs two
or three pounds.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
A Fine Dodqer.

Carols grandfather had served in
the war, and Carol liked to hear of the
many battles in which he had fought
One day after listening to the vivid re-
cital Of many heroic deeds Carol said:
"Grandfather, you went through all
those battles?''
eyes,
"And the shot and shell fell all
around your"
eyes,"
"And soldiers were falling and dying
everywhere"
eyes,"
"Well, grandfather, what a fine
dodger you must have enw-Delinea-
tor
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
Corrected.

Corrected.
II wish had never learned to play
cards." exclaimed man who had been
unfortunate at the game.
'You mean you wish you had learned.
don't you?" was his wife's rejoinder.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14

Hatred is like fire. It makes even
light rubbish deadly George Eliot,
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14
A Ducal Estate,

The park in which Chatsworth
stands is dozen miles in circumfer-
ence. The facade of the house is a
length Of 1900 feet.-Pall Mall Ga
zette
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14

Queer Feeding.
"Come and watch me feed my star
dsh."
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14

Of this has filed republican for
sheriff Beam the primaries be held September u.s.
probably Beltam county better known
than A. B. Hazen. He Of the
Bem and has always been
this and Beami
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-09-14

Weeds and bad habits are about the
only things that grow without any help.
Chicago Record-H Herald.
The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1908-12-23
MOZART CHRISTMAS TREE.
1t VIII Be at the Opera House on
December 9th.

December 24th.
Inc Mozart class will give a Christ
mas tree at the opera house on De-
cember oath. There will be a Meas
ing programme with the Wise Men
of the East and the Star of Bethle.
men, and also recitations and bright
songs. The little American Ounane,
VIII be on hand to distribute the
gifts from the tree. Everyone in
Dawson is invited to place some oft
Tor their children and friends The
poor will be kindly remembered Inv
the honorary members of the club
The usual charges-5O cents-wiIi
be made to meet the necessary av.
penSes. The children will ali he
compllmented with free admission
Inc honorary members will onlv he
charged half price-25 cents Lot
the Aids and willing friends meet
next Thursday morning, the 24tb
and help hang and arrange the troo
Ola Santa Claus will be on hama
ready to greet you. y