The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-06-19
the dog. Fixing him With your eye


ing him there until his legs began to
totter and his head to whirl, when
they would haul him out and souse
him in the nearby lake until he re-
vived; and revive he must, for was
there not another tourists carriage
coming down the hill? But sometimes
doggie didn't revive. Well, he was
only a dog, and there had been in
stances where men had persisted in the
foul-smelling cave. But that was ages
ago. There was French king who
brought donkey to the grotto and
tried the effect of the gas on him. The
animal died. But why the king tried it
on donkey don't know, unless that
fellOw-feeling makes uS-but, mo-
won't. Then there was an early Span
ish viceroy who wanted to decide
whether the gas was in prime condi-
ton or not, so he put two of his slaves
in the cave and they were brought out
dead. Spoke well for the gas, at any
rate.
Nowadays the question as to the
virtue of the gas is more humanely
torch and plunges it into the cave.
Instantly it goes OUT But if the act is
| repeated several times the gas, i'm
pregnated with smoke, assumes the
appearance of a silver sea, flowing in
ripping waves against the black wall
of the cavern" A good story is told
| of the guides of that region. AS a mat
ter of fact they are wholly unreliable,
with their high-sounding names OF
this broken wall or that defaced in
scription.
1t is said that they keep little dog
which they offer up as sactsace on
| the altar of the tourists curiosity.
Shall I throw him in?" they will
| ask the visitor; and if he be of hs-
| name disposition he will quickly reg
| ply, Certainly not! What d. you think
| ann"
And the guide will say-making a
shrewd guess-'I teenk you are Ameri-
can. Englees he say, 'Yaas, bah
Jove, t'row leetle beggar cen"
But once there came along an
American, whom the guide took to be
English, and when he asked, Shall
t'row leetle beggar een?" the Ameri-
can replied:
IF you do, I'll throw your ID car
cass in after him!"
The thing to do while at Naples is
| to go to the pink coral grotto, 50 to
the pink coral grotto we went. 1t lies
between the Bay of Pozzuoli and that
| special little bay where Pliny kept his
navy. We went out in boat with
| four rowers, the chief of whom gave
us large punches of taffy about our
country America" fine
New York." etc.-he had travelled, oh,
| yes! he had been to Jib-later (Gibral.
| tar and to Acknowledgements
| country" etc., until it came time to
return, when the fellow demanded
that we pay them a franc each then
and there, instead of the equivalent of
| ten cents each on the return to the
shore. Upon refusal he worked him.
self up into a hysterical sort of
| paroXysm, and shrieked: mo! not
shore! In de boat! In de boat! But my
| American nerve rose to the occasion
and fatty refused, Notwithstanding
that the situation began to get
strained, to put it mildly. Sulkily he
| gave in, and gave the command to re-
| turn to land, and slowly we were pro-
| pelled-so slowly, indeed, that 1 had
serious misgivings that we were to
spend the night upon the darkening
| sea, while the muttered abuse of our
Countrywide country-people vii
lains-dirty New York-America all
thieves!'-made me long to knock the
rascal overheard and have done with
him. However, as we approached the
shore they became more civil and, as
we alighted-glad to be back with a
whole skin-they bowed and scraped,
cap in hand, begging for settlement
at once. But no, the game was now in
my hand, and marching up to the no.
| tel demanded of the manager how It
was that he sent his guests out with
a parcel Of rascals and extortionists,
| terrifying hapless foreigners and in
| dulging in foul abuse of their country,
etc., etc. He rolled his eyes to
heaven and protested that he knsw
nothing of such methods; they We're
honest fellows, and Woodworking, and,
by the Madonna and all the saints! he
had no knowledge of such iniqIities;
it was incredible, impossible! etc., etc.
'Here!" said l, here is your money,
| according to the agreement l made
| with you. I will pay no extra extor-
ton, nor be terrified into doing SO.
| And, furthermore, for the protection of
| my countrymen, will publish far and
wide, I will print in every newspaper
of America the name Of your hotel and
the rascally doings of your en-
ployes-"
l got no further, for the fellow, with
howl of anguish. fell upon his knees
| and with clasped hands implored me
not to put it in de paper-net to ruin
hem!-hees famiee, dey starve! Do
| not put in de paper!"
Suppressing the laughter which his
ridiculous terror evoked 1 consented
to relent and peace was restored.
When we entered our carriage the
rowers were waiting cap in hand,
quite civil and ingratiating; but ig.
nored them completely, and we drove
off, followed by storm of curses and
maledictions hurled at the American
whom they found they couldn't bluff.
Cigar "leafers" have been busy up
and down the country during the past
few weeks, collecting dead chestnut