The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-25
DRIFT WOOD DY PHIL n. ARMSTRONG.

t s A man with a cinder in his eye never gets any more sympathy than a man l In love, and |, also keeps him wor- | ried about as much digging around after nothing in particular.
 There's no use kicking your way ! through life unless you are q chorus | girl.
 | A Kansas woman has sued drug gist for s2o,000 for breach of prom | ise, That's the trouble with druggists they know too much about cos- The laziest men usually has horse shoe hanging over their door.
 We haven't time to discuss friv- olties with malicious exchanges at present--the learned M. D.s have been in our midst discussing tuberculosis germs. n f And now turn your eyes from Ken lucky and Pensacola to Guatemala.
 Now that Judge Parker will nomi- nate "ail may be said to be serene" The average man has no taste. This Is apparent in his choice of a necktie, suit of clothes. pair of socks and even-yes-sometimes in the choice of wife.
 On your way to work in the early morning were you ever followed by a man who dragged one foot in slow enly manner, causing a swishing sound slowing down or .hastsnfng your speed avails nothtng.-Nebraska State-Jour- nal
 And what if he also happens to be q creditor? %
 Looking back we should say the chief thing women. give up during Lent is the price of spring hat
 One way of being popular Is to. re- spect every mans. opinion. and never belittle his intelligence by the su- periority of your own. .~
 Also nothing is ever lost by giving due respect to old age.
 Dr. S. Crumbine, secretary of the Kansas Board of Health. says he has found in ginger snaps sold in Topeka, hair, shingle nails, kindling wood and broom straws.-Exchange.
 The taste of Kansas would appear to be slightly depraved.
 Few persons would guess that the smallest things visible to the eye are the stars.--Scientific Journal.
 Oh, we don't know-some of the lower extremities of the back line chorus in a comic oprea-but what's the use?
 The man who started the breakfast food fad, they say,- 10 broke. The Boarders' Union must have brought about his fall.
 Some Ohio policemen killed two men by mistake but immediately apologfzed for it. Sweet of theni'
 Say, while we think of it. how is the Merry Widow hat. when worn by women. going to survive bargain crush?
 Because Congress didn't aequiesce in angry he could crush grape!
 MT. Rocketsller was followed to church Sunday by detective.-News
 That's risht--let your Standard oil light so shine. John.
 Of all the words the tongue can utter. the saddest are these: There's hair in the butter" I. A new police order in Harrisburg says "when a man Is drunk take him home" We'll bet the noie in q dough nut this idea was prornHlgafed~by the anti-prohibltionists.
 Artist Earle is looking for another 'iAfanity" Is it possible that this ''soul-twin" business is nothing but bigamy or polygamy under another name?
 Picnic time is now at hand when we sit beneath the trees and eat our pies with worms and bugs and sand wiches with bees:
 Married men shod1d cheer up now for here's the truth most flat: You needn't buy her parosol with the Merry Widow hat
 Remember the waiter wants some thing more substantial than tip on the races.
 Miss May a-Comin'. Miss Mays a-comin'
 Wld red roses in her hair, SinEin' cross de hill top
 Heart so free from care Scatterin' de blossoms
 All along de way Miss Nays a-comin'.
 Everybody's feelin' gay. Miss Mays a-laughin',
 Wfd de dimples in her cheek, Birds an beasts Is happy
 As de fishes in de creek. Blue birds a-singin'
 Tn de China-berry tree; An I'm des as happy
 AS eyer wanter be. Miss Mays a-sayin'.'
 Dar'll be peaches on de trees Blackberries. watermelons
 Eat des all yo' please" Flow up de furrow,
 Keep a hollerin' ter de mewl- Happy as a bad boy
 Gettin' out O skewl.