The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-05-23
DRIFTWOOD
mY PHIL nE. AnMeTMoNG.


 That Indiana novelist might write a wssensl w e1stied At the La Porte of ''on the sidewalks of iife." says Drift Armstrong in The Montgomery Adyer,,. Yes, old man. and some open coal holes. -sunaio Evening News
 rhar. ts . xao.s~ that has Just saaehsd n oas s1sls: ra chicks % That fowl is heu-peeksd and
 Oh. the courtship days
 Of long ago.
 How she would "stick'
 When we had the ''dcughf- only a.sss persons wsr. injured In street car accidents In New York in April. And will all of 'era sue the com : pany and get damages?
 At Gloucester a isherman pulled up two kegs of beer the other dAy. This no doubt enabled him to tell the big gest fish stories on record after he re- turned home.
 The mosquitoes are said to be ieav- ing New Jersey. Eliminate a few oth- CT things and New Jersey will be worth living In.
 The Augusta cGa.5 Herald Iaments the fact tn at last year there was pien. ty of brandy but no peaches. while this ssy Sssy hsTs srep 0s sf Rsssss sfaasy '' D'&''' out A New yorker has discovered the afinity germ. Name Earle?--Atianta Yes. Probably the Farley Worm"
 Some sweet day
 Tn the far away
 When Time hath made It's tnciston,
 When babies are gray
 We'll have they say
 Republican Tariff Revision. A prominent scientist now rises up to make the startling prediction that in 10000 years from now this country will be a frozen waste, So, cheer up and enjoy hot weather while you may. The big hats worn by women in the Paris theatres are causing nightly riots.
 As sure as the candidate
 Takes the stump.
 He'll call you his darling
 Sugar lump.
 But when elections
 Past I VOW
 He can't recall
 Those words somehow.
 T
 NOW every WOTnAn III LNtS C0unSIy who has a husband missing can say he is in Mrs. Gunness's private cemetery. This is the time of year when a man s sss wed to put Sss S sa is es s to pS pS on new clothes and make for q swell seaside hotel.
 Oh, yes; even a brunette may be- come light t-h eaded at times.
 
 There are just as good fish in the brook--in fact We may say, without are there, according to the big ones that set back.
 Happiness is said to be habit. If so it's about the easiest habit to quit there is.
 Never believe all you hear except when woman tells you her age. Now is the time
 And season when
 We put up the screen
 Then find a hole therein. Sometimes a woman Is such . crank about peroxides that 1t turns her head. : In favorable wind fox. can scent q man one-quarter of mile away Scientific Journal.
 A white man. you mean. The army of Terah king of Ethiopia. consisted of 100000 men and 300 char, lots of war. Sesostris. king of Egypt. led against his enemies e00.0o0 men, 24.00O cavalfy and twenty-seven scythe armed chariots In 14S1 B. C.. and yet Teddy couldn't get those four battle- ships!
 Up in Chicago 1000 women have avowed their intention of wearing nothing on their feet but sandals this summer No use In talking, when a Chicago woman puts her foot down on a thing that settles 1t.
 
 Reading, Pa, has a new preacher named "Bsth!'' Pennsylvania, of all places, needs one.
 Texas says she is Dig enough to &C., commodate the Merry Widow Lids.
 
 With adjournment of that old-fashion- ed circus known as Congress" Wash ington will once again make noise like cemetery.