Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-28
TOUCHING TROOP OF GHOSTS
Roosevelt's Last Night in the White
House Sketohed in Advance.
PATHos WITH THE BARK ON
MOlIycOddIe skips with Strenuous
Life and, Has COrkIng Good
Time Beating other shades
to n Frazzle.

.The Farewell of the Roosevelt
Ghosts an advance picture Of the night
Of March 8. 1909. in the White House, is
esteemed one Of the finest bits of fancied
humor and pathos that has tickled WASH
ington in many a day. George r. Brown,
one of the younger Washington CORE
~spondents, has contributed TO the Boston
Herald several sketches of the kind, but
the last one is the first to excite the
mirth Of official Washington. The yarn
follows:
It was the night before inauguration
day, and all through the White House
not a creature was stirring except six
secret service men. eight watchmen, sew
eral mice in the pantry and Pete the
bulldog. Upstairs in the executive bed
chamber strenuous sounds Issued from
the crack under the door. indicating that
the chief magistrate Of the nation was
peacefully slumbering on the last night
he was to spend in the mansion.
Suddenly a small, white figure crept
noiselessly through the gloomy halls and
proceeded timidly into the presence OF the
sleeper.
who's there?" demanded a voice. 1t
was the voice of President Theodore
Roosevelt. Speak, or I'll shootl"
Don't shoot" cried the small, white
figure. 1--WE simply, come to say gocd-
by to you"
who are your" demanded the president,
cooking his revolver.
al am the Mollycoddle." sighed the
small. white figure, land this is my last
night on earth; farewell"
A Real Fright.
The little creature vanished through
the door just as there entered a strange
being so horrible Of mien that the Molly
coddle fled shrieking down the corridor.
Even the president was alarmed for an
instant. The newcomer was misshapen,
distorted. with a crooked, wretched face,
a hump back, red eyes, a huge wart OF a
nose and mismated feet.
who are your" demanded the we'll
known voice. Answer up pert; I've got
the drop on you"
d not waste any powder on me-" re-
piled the frightful object in blood curdling
tones, "for l am not worth 1t. I am the
Criminal Absurdity. 1 am here SIMPLY
to bid you adios."
BY this time the upper corridors of the
White House fairly swarmed with strange
uncouth, delirious looking personages. They
crowded into the room and when the Grim
inal Absurdity pressed the hand OF the great
man ana Ddlu nlS last E6bpcNNSt bhCS lAONhON
to the bed. Some wore grins. some hat
faces more like masks than human Wis
ages, but all OF the countenances bore thu
imprint OF great suffering. and not a crea
ture present but looked as though he haC
been dragged through a knothole. One ii
particular presented such a pltiful appear
ance that its associates respectfully CAV
It the place of honor on the footboard.
'Who are you?" demanded the voice.
81 am the Frazzie," replied the poo
creature, but in tones so weak that 1t wa!
with difficulty 1t could make itself under
stood. II am the FRAGILE 1t repeated, an,
burst into tears.
poor little chap" said the well know
voice in tones of pity. poor little chap
r You've just begun your career of misery
1 pity you"
The shade of Many.
The Criminal Absurdity tried to butt in
at this point, but the voice interrupted
las for you," it said, az well remembe
when you were born. 1t was at oyster Bay
Sept. r. 1904, in my letter accepting the re
: publican nomination for the presidency
I Little did I think then that you would hav
E such q vogue. And the poor Mollycoddl'
which has just left the room. That was q
Harvard Union Feb. %, 1907. Let me thinl
o, yes, here's the very note:
"As 1 emphatically disbelieve In seein
Harvard or any other college turn OF
mollycoddles instead OF vigorous men,
may add thai I do not in the least objeC
to a sport because 1t is rough"
There was a commotion at the foot {
the bed, and an unkempt, wild eyed obje'
8 scrambled upon the counterpane, waving
red flag.
'Hal" cried the we'll known voice.
= recognize you, all right"
) Correct" replied the WAIVER Of the re
banner, 81 am the Undesirable Citizei
II and I've come to say au revoir.'
Il wrote a letter about you to Mr.. Hol
ore Jaxon Of Chicago about the Moye
Hayward affair."" said the voice.
n I'm my letter. to which you object,
ID referred to a certain prominent f~inancie
y. Mr.. Hartman. on the one hand, and
k Messrs. Meyer. Hayward and Debs, on Il
1 other. as being equally undesirable cit
n Gems"
II The Fat Person.
" What else the voice would hav said W
&c never be known, for at this point a pc
son so dignified, fat, sleek and prospero'
% looking strutted into the room and stalk
toward the bed with such ponderol
VI tread, and withal 80 chestily, that Il
Vi other objects gathered about fell all ov
&c themselves getting out Of his way. IT
newcomer had a generous paunch, she
Oi legs supporting It, a thick, red nee
= jowIs like those of a we'll fed shoat, Al
ls two little tWinklIng eyes, but what q