The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-04
pArrY sgeks 4 eooo FsAHtY
But Gets Little Help From Her Father
and Brother

| ""bho'pHa, anu NthIueu W unucT-
stand all about parties, platforms aud
planks. She had never Joined q wo-
mans chlb for Patty lived and four
ished In town where the womea
were all domestic and never INDUCED
in higher intellectual food than that
afforded by the weekly sewing circls.
Patty received the finishing touches
To q sound ednqa tion at private
school for young women, after gradu-
ating at a good Methodist seminary In
| Namelessyille and returned 10 the
paternal roof thoroughly equipped (ss
| she suDposed) for all the varied and
complex duties of life.
Patty had vague longing In her In
nocent mind foi some knowledge be-
yond that required In the school
room She argued to herself that OF
course men who had TO prepare for
the arduous duty OF voting would
know all about parties and their plat
forms Visions came 10 her mind OF
the noble principles and high stand.
ard Of the best party, and she felt that
even If she were denied the great ana
sublime right Of casting her vote, at
least she would understand thorough
ly the principles underlying each
party, and cast her sympathy and In
fiuenee with that party which stood
for right and justice.
IS such an exigency as this TO
whom should q timid maiden. not OUT
Of her teens. turn but to her father?
So Patty went to papa, and said,
Papa, 1 want to know the difference
between Democrat and Repub-
lcan."
Want to know what! my daugh.
ter"
The difference between a Democrat
and Il Republican.
Papa Deered curiously over his gold
bowed glasses for mement, and then
said: "Ahem! that is very COM
plicated subject my dear,--yery com
plicated, merely a difference Ia plat
forms, that's ALL never cudld explain
such subjects TO a woman any way.
By the way, you left Jumps Ia the
heels of my stockings last week when
you darned them. I would advise
your mother to give you a few more
lessons in mending," and after this
unaccountable switch from Miss Pat
tvs track. he subslded into the depths
Of his newspaper. .F1
Patty tried TO give him reproach-
ful glance, but the ominous cracking
Of the sheet warned her that abe
could look for no more light from that
quarter; so, heaving regrettul sigh,
she sought out her big brother.
Henry, will you please tell me the
difference between Democrat and a
Republican,"
Why sure. ask me a harder one.
The Democrats are all liars and
scoundrels, and the Republicans are
all thieves and robbers. The" 1r
Bat those other parties, Henry, the
populists, the prohibltionists. the 90
cialists, sure some off them must be
honest This new wing of the Repub-
lican party, who carry little flags
sticking from their pockets, and talk
about the little red school house, in-
deed, Henry, they must be patriots"
My dear girl" declared Henry In
parental manner, They are all good,
all honest, all are right | would advise
you TO vote for the Republicans for
fH-' l.''"- 20 's'' 'D~' r~onry and pro-
tecuon. Or vote for The Democrats TO-
they believe in free coinage, free
trade, free rum and the breaking up
OF the trusts which the Republican
party nurses and feeds with Meilin's
food. Or vote the prohibition ticket
and rid the land of intemperance. for
when they elect their candidates
'Therell be no more rum drunk then
Or vote for the populists. for when
the government owns the railroads.
the telegraph, the mines and controls
business generally well have pros
perlty. Or vote. for the socialists, for
when they hold the balance OF power
they'll take from the rich and give to
the poor and we won't need any soup
houses, nor any church fairs
But Patty stuffed her pretty fingers
IN her ears and ran away, for she
realized that in all Henry said he
hadn't told her the difference between
a Democrat and Republican.
AS last resort Miss Patty went TO
The editor, acting on the generally un-
lerstood principle that editors know
everything. Mr. Editor. will you
please tell me the difference between
Democrat and Republican,"
The great man ran his hand
through his hair. overturned a pile OF
exchanges, upset the glue pot ana
spilled the ink. then he said: THE
Democrats think gold money good,
silver money better, but any kind
good enough. The Republican scorns
TO ask what the money Is, but only
shouts more The Democrats scorns
md despises trusts because the men
Concerned in them are all Republi-
cans. The Republicans want change
N office. and change In their pockets,
lnd they're going TO have II, too"
Miss Patty stood aghast. and then
'ried in horror and despair, "Bnt
where is that great and good party 10
which honest men and patriots be-
nuoOp