davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11
A Difficult Trick

When the new trolley line first ran
through the little town 1t was regarded
with mingled PRIDE admiration and
fear, for many of the townsfolk stood
in awe of the mysterious powers of the
electric current.
Would | get a shock if | put my
foot on that rail?' qucried a nervous
old lady after lowering on one side of
the road, not quite daring to attempt
the dangerous crossing.
mo, madam" answered the polite
conductor, mot unless you put your
other foot on the trolley wire" ."-Wo-
mans Home Companion
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11
Another Arqument.

"What do you regard as the most i'm
portant thing in favor of the theory
that Mars is inhabitcdt'
"The fact" answered the popular
scientist, chat an article assuming
that side of the question can be made
three times as readable as one taking
the opposite vicw."-Washngto Star.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11
Philadelphia Suburkan. -es Agerieved.
When TbilodclDhiu leased its gas

Philadelphia Suburkan..es Aggrieved.
When Philadelphia leased its gas
works ten years 49,. i retained one
plHit. whi h serves the Tacony and
iIolmcshur& districts. In recording the
,,ttioI Of meeting Of the citizens of
these districts. when Il committee was
appointed to carry their grievance to
the mayor. the Philadelphia Record
says:
THE plant was built twenty five
years ago and is declared to be in mis-
cradle condition. afforGinG an made
quate and inferior supply of gas, al
though a handsome profit is returned
to The city each year by its operation
The capacity of the plant has not been
improved to keep pace with the growth
of that section of the city. Frequent
breaks in the mains leave the house
holders without gas.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11
Sample Civil Service Examination.

Sample Civil Service Examination.
This comes from Canada. A poll
tician there was appointed to a posi-
ton which technically had to be occu-
pied by lawyer which the appointee
was not. In order to obviate the tech
nicality board of examiners was ap-
pointed to question him as to his
Knowledge of tie law. The first Ques-
ton by the board waS What do you
know about the law" and the modest
response was. ITO tell the truth, do
not know a single thing" Whereupon
the board intimated that the question
ing was at an end and submitted a re-
port on the examination. in which it
was gravely stated. We have ex-
amined the appontce as to his knowl
edge of the law, and tn the best of our
knowledge and belief he has answered
all the questions with entire correct
ness."-Cincinnati Citizens Bulletin.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11
Avarica.

.Ay"",cl il an incurabe malady, an
cor i"",iiHT fire, Il tyranny which eX-
'""'', f. "A'l vide, for lie who in this
lie Is thH |l1v" of money Is loaded
"ith h a ''''in' g,:l destined to car
r. fa: E,n = chains in the life to
'0mc.-S;. John Chrysostom.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11
a WcetlcI Motion.

Ladies'" called the president of the
If "".o.l whi"t club-'ladies, it has
Llen movcd and seconded that there
~" lie - Conversation at the card
t, . What shall we DO with the mo-
ti,n:"
Il sug" t that we discuss it while
we rla;." pincl a shriI voice from
t. y . the suggestion was adopt
Cicve!fn! Ti&in Dealer.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11
A Costly Fall.

"She appears to have fallen In love
with him."
"Oh, yes, some time ago. But now
ise"
"Counting upon getting damages for
the fall, Philadelphia Press.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11
For Her Hearers.

"Don't you think my daughter sang
with great feeling at the musicale
last night?"
"Ycs. l noticed that she sang only
two of the four verses of the song."-
Chicago Record Herald
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11

o II c e
there was
Il II e m
ploye who
w Il s get
ting t Ii e
Nub End
q f t h Q
Deal, lie
kicked on
the | o II e
Hours and
the small
5 a | a + Y,
and help
ed to or
ga nlZe Il
G | Q 7 k 8
PROTECTIVE
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11
Polite Amenities.

He (brusquely)-I cannot understand
why SO many foolish women are so
fond of dogs.
She Oswcetly)-Nor | that 50 many
foolish women stick so to curs.-Baltl-
more American.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11

MUNICH PALUNACy,
By JOHN KENDRIcK BANGS.

me STeatcSl INVASION Oh the ElSnlS
o. private parties as yet recorded is
alleged to have occurred recently at
Athens. y. Y. where. according to a
dispatch from the local correspondent
of a New York paper. Il citizen un
known, dissatisfied with the quality Of
the tar pavementS, covered them with
feathers, with the usual result. This
Is the first time in the history of
American municipalities that Il town
has been tarrcd and fcathcr"l. We
hope the tendency will stop with this
beginning for we should not like to
wake up some morning to find that
our chosen city had either been lynch
ed or ridden upon rail.
y
The latest report of the government
Britain shows Il loss for the year of
$5.00O000. The proportion of this loss
properly borne by the telephone de
partmcnt is an indication that. as far
as the taxpayers of Britain are con-
cerned, talk is no cheaper than it used
to be.
Orange, Tex, Is one of the latest
towns to come in out Of the wet. That
city constructed small waterworkS
system some years ago and operated it
for several years prior to 1902 at a
clear loss In that year the city en-
tered into Il lease with a private com
pany. and the other day the contract
was eviScd and renewed for twenty
years We are glad to note that at
least one Orange recognizes a lemon
when it sees it ana refuses to allow
itself to be squeezed any longer,
How would you like to eat butter
made by the fair hand of a plumber?
Not much, eh? Well, look out for the
man who proposes to have your house
supplied with gas made under the ey
pert eye of the ward politician who
has studied craftsmanship and civics
in the sacred precincts of q corner Sa
loon. The particular kind of gas in
which he cXceIs may be the kind that
cannot be blown out. but you will sell
com find it illuminating until your tax
bill comes in.
AS to municipal ownership of street
railways. did you ever stop to figure
out the ownership of a road that
would run. say, from Portland, Me. to
Portsmouth, n. H., passing as it does
through Biddeford, Saco, Kennebunk,
the townships of Wells and York,
thence through Kittery into Ports
mouth? They used to say that 1t was
Il vie child that knew his own father,
but he would lie an idiot alongside of
Il railway that, passing through 50
many civic hands as that mentioned
&,.oye. recognized its doting parent
Solomon himself would have been
Sorely taxed in rendering Judgment in
Il case like that, and those who are
familiar with the Scriptures are aware
that in matters of that precise kind he
was the wiSest man on record
e.
EX-Mayor Weaver of Philadelphia
advocates the establishment of a mu
Hi%ipal bank. 1t isn't Il bad idea. 1t
Will enable the CRATER in public office
to get at the money of the people with
out all the wearsome and sordid de
tail at present necessary to the accom-
pliShmcnt of the same ends. Then, too
depositors who are careful about their
accounts will know to Il cent just how
much they are being despoiled of,
which in these days of indiscriminate
municipal looting is truly an advan-
tage.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11
II Didn't AppeaL to Him.

"Dont you think that Miss La
Peache has Il complexion like ivory"
"Perhaps so, but | never cared much
for painting on ivOry."-CleTeland
Plain Dealer
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11

s t o + G q
were try
| II z t @
make love
t o h e L
and if any
Man hap
pened It,
be W Il Tx -
behind
her on the
same side
o f t h e
Street she
knew that
she W Il 5
being Pllr-
sued.
Are you
going to
sit h g r e
and ollpINr
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11

"Wot did de lady up at de last house
say, Willie"
didn't say nothin'. Just pointed at
de wood pile, an beat it!'-New York
World.
Frostburg mining journal. [volume] (Frostburg, Md.) 1871-1913, 1908-04-11

The latest report of the government
tclegraphs and telephones of Great
Britain shows a loss for the year of
$5.00O0O0. The proportion of this loss
properly borne by the telephone de
partmcnt is an indication that. as far
as the taxpayers of Britain are con-
cerned. talk is no cheaper than it used
to be.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06

ON
POKER
PLAYING
By Geo. v. Hobart, Hugh McHugh''))

you a culinary melodrama wherein each
swallow is a thrill and your stomach gets
up and yells at every climax.
can see you and Alice sitting there,
splitting Schenectady French all over the
tablecloth, while the waiter gets a stone
bruise on his palate from holding back
his Partisan laughter.
Now don't wrinkle the map when you
read this, Bunch, because I've been pres
ent when you blurted out some of your
French with the ossified accent. and it's
a scream all right.
Remember that day in Martins here in
littleoidnewyork when you ordered lamb
chops and a baked potato in French? The
waiter bowed, said "Oui. M'sieu"' and
brought you a bowl of vegetable soup and
q morning paper.
That's how good your French is, my
lad.
It's almost bad as Fred Perry sand
that's going some.
/ met Fred and Henri Leoni at the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06

be Mr.. and Mrs. Tucker, and I'll say
we're not at home.
NO" said Skeezicks, we're going to
elope over to Mr.. Pearson's and get mar
ried."
"All right" agreed Ethel swapping up
the suggestion with alacrity. "I'll go in
and tell mamma
"WeH. she ought to be told" halted
skeezicks. weighing the problem judicial
ly. "but we mustn't tell her till after we
get back. Uncle Joe says that the way Is
not to tell anybody"
+ Y
Ethel looked doubtfully at the house.
She had been spanked for Independent
trips Of at least equal Importance with
the one Skeezicks proposed. but if Uncle
Joe was authority for the program 1t
must be all right. Skeezck's Uncle Joe
was an oracle among the small folk OF
this suburb. She marched outside the
gate and carefully clos. it af -er her.
Small Dot climbed up on the gate with
her chubby round face close to the bold
II want to LOPEZ she wistfully an
nounced.
..All right" acquiesced Skeezicks.
"Uncle Joe said to take a witness Or SO
along. and you can be it."
Shed tell anyhow" Ethel philosophic-
A few minutes later Mr.. Pearson's Nora
admitted the clipping party and, with the
strict impartiality of her orders, conduct
ed them into the parlor.
"WeN, WE'LL" exclaimed hearty MIR.
Pearson joining them presently. This is
indeed a pleasant visit. What can l do
for you. ladies and gentlemen"
I'VE are clipping. SIR explained Skee-
zicks, rising to respond with manly visor
to the minister's cordial handshake.
"Oh, / see," replied Mr.. Pearson. grasp
ing hasty grip on the gravity which
the occasion demanded. "A which is
the fortunate young LADY,"
Miss Ethel was busily engaged IN plait-
cuss himself inwardly because he didn't
learn French enough to follow the Guy
de Maupassant story which he thinks
Fred is telling.
A has lie Fred
l notice in your letter, Bunch, that you
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06

him. you'll sit right down here and eat
a piece of gingerbread instead.
Thank YOU" replied SkeeZckS. with
wideawake promptness. and sat expect
antly on the chair which Katie vigorously
busted for him.
He was SO quiet while eating his ginger
bread that Katie looked around two or
three times to see if he was still there.
and the last time she did it SkeeZicks
fixed her with his serious eye.
Il say, Katie" he suddenly demanded.
"are you going to get married or Just
elope?''
In place of answering this weighty
question with the grave elaboration it de-
manded Katie unexpectedly blushed. The
painful red flush mounted from her
cheeks to her temples and was visible far
back among the roots of her faxen hair;
even her ears and neck were crimson.
well. sakes alve" Stammered Katie.
after slamming an oven door and whisk-
ing half a dozen innocent utensils about
to get free from her confusion. What
ever put such a queer notion into your
headr'
"Oh, I Just wondered. that's ALL he re-
piled, glancing thoughtfully out Of the
door and not noticing her commotion.
'Uncle Joe says that clipping is really the
best way"
"Oh. it was Mr.. Freeman: then,
laughed Katie. relieved. Sure. he's full
of his fun He's no more than boy most
times, though they do say he's such
smart business man.
Yes ma am perfunctorily agreed
Skeezicks, and even on his way home.
with his little wedding cake wrapped up
nicely in a napkin, he was still deeply
thoughtful He was thoughtful Q all
through luncheon. and still thoughtful
when he swung up the street and over on
the adjoining avenue to the home of DR..
Terrence.
Miss Ethel. aged seven. and Miss Dot.
aged five were in the side yard, pa
tiently trying to make a small dog
dressed up in a dolls cloak lie still in a
hammock and be swung to sleep: but at
Skeezicks' call they came running to the
gate. the dog and his awkward cloak
trailing after them.
Come on and play go to visit " in
vited Ethel. "Ill be mamma and Rags
will be the baby and you and Dot will
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06

young man he had been treated with
srown-up familiarity ever since he had
been a lisping baby. and his replies were
sometimes extremely startling to strang-
erS.
Il am very much relieved. And now
YOU can see how much trouble we'd
ding really is and how careful one must
be. AS ! said before. don't do it. When
you get married don't be SO foolish; you
Just elope. It's the cheapest and the
most comfortable
How do you do it?" asked Skeezicks
with deep interest
best one of all is just to take witness
or So walk over to the nearest minister S
and get married without saying anything
to anybody about it. Anybody can do
that. The dressmakers and milliners and
tailors may make me desperate enough
to elope myself before next week.
Skeezcks said nothing. He was looking
earnestly into the fern box in the window
and thinking it all over. Uncle Joe arose.
THAT is my solemn advice" he said.
with another glance at his watch, land 1
am quite sure that you'll take it, won
you?"
"Yes. sir" answered Skeezicks abstract
edly. arousing moment from his reverie-
That's right. Never have a wedding.
These are my parting words. Always
elope AS tell YOU I'd like to do it my
self And Uncle Joe. pausing to thrust
sharply upon Skeezicks a little bag OF
CHOCOIdteS Lciu pdCA Aoi q SUI ~ LOG
stalked out of the room with a sigh OF
content. He had made his story-ravenous
nephew forget to demand another tale.
x *
Skeezicks. forgotten by everybody, sat in
the big leather chair for at least quarter
of an hour, his body motionless, his eyes
staring into the fern box. but his busy
imagination seething with large and fam
tastic plans. At last he clambered down
from the chair. and looking around. to
find himself alone in the room. enjoyed
the liberty of stretching and yawning to
his hearts content. Then. for the first
time investigating the chocolate bag, he
strolled out into the hall.
Katie, big. red-cheeked Katie. the
warmth of whose heart was at least as
great as the size of her body, met him at
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06
A Poor Bath.

IENRY FARMAN. the aviator. was
i talking in New York about the excel
lent bathing beaches of America.
There are no such. beaches in Europe"
said he. And the sea over there is not
SO pleasant to battle in. Frequently, you
know, great pipes empty sewage into it.
They who stay late for the bathing in
Nice. for instance, swim about among
lemon peel orange skins, melon rinds,
soaked but still buoyant newspapers
fearful rubbish.
Il once bathed in Nice. The Mediter-
ranean was warm and pleasant. but 1t re-
sembled soup or something worse.
Il heard an American. after coming
out, say to the bathingmaster:
Look here, friend. where do strangers
go for wash after bathing here?'"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06

ing her pinafore over and over and over
on her knee. he was looking shyiy up
ward through her lashes a ar. Pearson.
deciding that. after all. it was not worth
while crying just yet bit.
Dot however was not so nervous. Il m
looping. too" she announced, swinging her
fat legs vigorously.
But she's only the witness" hastily
objected Skeezicks, panied lest al error
be made This is the one, and he laid
his hand on Ethers arm. That young
lady promptly giggled and then. embar-
raised at the sound, drew down her race
and made a small round 20 with her
mouth. looking almost cross-eyed in her
embarrassed attempt at dignity. Skee-
zickS alone was calm.
Mr. Pearson sat down in order The bet
ter to enjoy his visitors AM dispose of
his problem. His plump shoulders had
an almost irresistible temptatiol- TO jerk
up and down, and In his chest he felt a
queer fullness of breath that he had to
stifle lest it become a laugh and offend
the sentiments which had actuated this
Joe and few others. Mr.. Pearson held
a strange theory that the thoughts of
children ARE long. long thoughts" and
are worthy of study, even of respect.
Il don't believe that l quite place you,'
he stated. to gain time. What is your
name, please?"
Freeman. sir replied Skeezicks.
"Charles Edward freeman
OH said the minister. Il should
know you very we'll indeed. Why. I am
to have the pleasure of officiating at your
Uncle JosephS wedding. And these young
ladies?
This is Ethel and this is Dot an
nounced Skeezicks. DIR. Terrence said L
could have my pick Of his girls and l
picked Ethel"
oh" said Mr.. Pearson again. II COM
mend your choice, although. of course,
either young lady and he made them
a profound bow which Ethel answered by
screwing her pretty face into hideous
knots and suddenly holding out her hand
that he might admire her new ring. Dot
merely grinned engagingly and went on
swinging her legs.
X
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06

French to hotel walters all day long.
oh. what bliss, what joy must be your
port ion Bunch, when you squeeze into
one of those French cafes. grab French
serves" and in a confidential tone give
an order like this TO your French waiter:
"Avec lie beaucoup pomme de terre. Don
ncz-moi de Ieau chaude; je vais me raser
Avec get a move on YOU.
Then in a French hour and Il half Your
French waiter hurries back and serves
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06
Like Poetry.

A REPORTER asked John ]. Hayes
"A the winner . the Marathon race. II
long distance running was difficult.
Running" said the Young man, sis q
good deal like writing poetry. And you
know what Victor Hugo said about that"
No What did he say" asked the re-
porter
A visitor" said Mr.. Hayes, asked
Hugo if it was hard to make good po-
etry.
'Hard?' said Hugo. with a laugh.
Hard? Bless me. no. 1t is either quite
easy or-impossihlA'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06

AR BUNCH: SO
now you're at
Monte Carlo, Ell?
Gee. you and
Alice must be
having the time
of your lives hik-
ing over Europe,
handing out good
money TO hotel
clerks and bad
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06

She certainly runs Uncle Greg. close
second when it comes to getting frappe
in the pedals.
Every time Mrs. Lorrenz is separated
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06

met some of your old pals in Paris ana
that you stayed up all night playing
poker.
It's a good old wheeze, Bunch, and no
doubt Alice believed you when you
brought home the nine million francs you
won.
OF course she didn't stop to think that
nine million francs is only about $40 in
real money. But why wake her up?
If you really had to play poker. Bunch,
I'm glad you stayed up all night at it.
When you first mentioned the word in
your letter / was afraid to read further
for fear I'd see that II o'clock you got
a kink in your instep and quit four dollars
winner.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06

the front door
Where you goin', darlin'?'' she asked
replied. sfm hungry"
"Well, bless your heart said Katie,
"you come right back In the kitchen! I've
got something for you. When 1 baked
Miss Elizabeth's wedding cake 1 saved out
some dough and some icing, and L made
you a little wedding cake of your own.
THANK you" said Skeezicks, and fol-
lowed her back to the kitchen very will
ingly indeed.
He liked Katie in spite of the fact that
she did everything violently. being likely
to sweep him suddenly off his feet at any
time and kiss him with a fervor amount
ing almost to fury. 1t was a beautiful
little cake that she gave him, not much
bigger than the two fists of Skeezicks.
but the exact shape of a real wedding
cake, plastered thickly with icing and
decorated with little cardamon candles in
three bright and cleaning colors. Oh, 1t
displayed imagination that cake! II
might have been wedding cake for
fairies. though if you thought of that
so much that you forgot the big love that
went into it's making you were commit
ting very, very grave error. SkeeZicks
thanked her again, but after that he stood
of the kitchen door into the back garden.
well. why don't you eat it, honey?
demanded Katie.
"If you don't mind I'd like to take it
eyes up to her. His eyes always puzzled
Katie. and she often found herself Won
dering what they were thinking about.
Sure you can" said Katie. "Of course,
you'd want to show it to your mamma"
"I'll save a piece of it and come over
here to eat it if you like offered Skee-
ticks. politely. feeling that this reward,
at least, was due her hospitality.
Katie threw back her head and laughed
her big. round laugh.
You'll do nothing of the kind" she told
it all over me-
With Henri speaking aimost-French and
Fred gesticulating nearly-French there
wasn't anything left for me to do but
call the waiter and talk booze.
| found out later that Fred knows ex-
actly nine ordinary French words. includ-
ing incest pas and avec plaisir. but he
has memorized the name of every street
in Paris.
So when Fred exhausts his nine ordi-
nary words he rushes all over the city, out
to Nausirard, over to the Batinolles, to
Cliehy by rues and side streets to the
eastern Beulevards Beumarchais and st.
Denis, then across lots to the western
Boulevard DIES Itaiens, then with hop,
skip and jump he's in the Place de la
Concorde and off into the Champs-Elysees
its immense.
Fred can sit there and rattle off the