Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-12-16
IllII97y


Teacher-What is a sufrragette? VIII
frid-A female sufferer.
Terrier-Don't you have any dog
watch on this craft? Tabby-No. This
is a cat-boat.
Teacher-What lesson do we learn
from the busy bee? Tommy Tufrnut-
Not to get stung.
Young Hunter-It's strange that I
can't hit anything. His Gulde-I guess
It's because I'm behind tree.
MOther-Alice, 1t Is bedtime. All the
little chickens have gone to bed. Alice
Yes, mamma, and SO has the hen.
"A man learns to do by doing" re-
marked the moralizer. YES" rejoined
the demoralizer. "and also by being
done. "-Chicago Daily News.
Customer-What is the price of the
duck? Little Girl-Please, mum, it's
three shillings. But mother says, II
you grumble, it's two-and-slx Punch.
Office Boy-Say, the boss oughtn't to
put window In there? Carpenter
Why not? Office Boy-'Cause, now
you can see he's in when he mint in.--
life.
scott-Wherever does Easily get
the idea that his jokes are funny?
NOTCH, he tells them to young wom-
en- with pretty teeth.-Boston Tran
script.
The Inquirer-But what is it you
men have struck for? The Striker
Well. I'm blest If know, gunner, but
we amt goin' back till we've got it
The Sketch.
"Ah, Elsie, 1t is fine to be married
to an omcer--such beautiful uniform,
and SO many decorations!' "Yes, and,
besides that, he'll have band at his
funeral."-Wahre Jacob.
"You say there is nearly always
something broke about your automo-
bile?" YES" answered Mr.. Chugglns,
nervously. What is 1t, as ruler"
"Me."-Washingto Star.
"You don't mean to say that you are
going back to horsesi'' Temporarily.
I have moved to new country place,
and l thought should like to become
acquainted with the scenery" Life.
She-Im going to give you back our
engagement ring-I love another. He
Give me his name and address. She
DO you want to kill him? He-No,
want to sell him, the ring.-Pick- Me
Up.
Reporter-Now, what was the worst
money panic you ever saw? Great
Financier-Last week, when ten-cent
piece rolled to the floor Of street car
and five women claimed it!-The x
Ray.
Emily (playing "house" )-Now, I'll
be mamma and you'll be papa, and lit
tie Ben and Bessie will be our babies.
Willie (after moment anxiously)-
Amt 1t about time to whip the chill
dren?
Did your friend make hit at the
literary club?" ~ guess he did. He
pronounced Les Niserables' in brand
new way, and then alluded to it as Vic
tor Herbert's masterpiece" Washing
ton Herald.
Tired Traveller (to barber) Spend
ing the night in a sleeping-car doesn't
improve ones beauty, does it? Bar
ber-I don't know what you looked
like when you started, but I guess
you're right.-Harper's Bazaar.
Daughter-This piano is really my
very own, isn't 1t, pa? Pa-Yes. my
dear. Daughter-And when I marry
can take it with me, can l? Pa
Certainly, my child. But don't tell any
one; 1t might spoil your chances.-Pen-
ny Pictorial.
81 had half the young men in town
for rivals when was doing court
ship stunt" said the sad-eyed passen-
ger. "And did you land the prize?"
queried the hardware drummer. well.
never looked Mt it in that light" re-
piled he Of the sad eyes. "but married
the girl."'-Chicago Daily News.
Lady in touring car beckons to pc
destrian. evil you kindly do me a
small favor, sir?" Certainly, madam"
'.Then please .stand out in the middle
Of the highway and let me see how
quickly can stop my chr without hit.
ting you. I'm afraid this brake is out
Of order."-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"You didn't seem to enjoy your din
ner." "No," answered Mr.. Cumrox.
81 confess was wondering about how
much ought to give the waiter. You
see, If you give waiter too little he
snubs you and If you give him too much
he knows you are stranger In the
place and scorns you anyhow. Wash.
ington Star.
We passed, in the course of an hour,
two dead COWS and more than fifty
dead chickens. A strong smell Of gaso-
line pervaded the atmosphere, and there
we're wheel tracks in the dirt. Sher.
lock Holmes became greatly Interested.
WATSON" exclaimed he, after deep
thought, there has been an automobile
along here p'-Louisville Courier-Jour.
nal.
The Mysterious Gegenschien.
There is visible in the night sky, un.
der favorable circumstances, faint
light rounded in outline md sitpoto1