Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-23
CALCULATING VALUE or NAN
II IL Determined, Not by His Do
nestle Condition, hut by
His EmcIency.


on the coast OF England the other day
a small pleasure steamer bearing twenty
six passengers, all men. ran upon a sunken
wreck and began to sink. There was but
one small llfeboat. and this would not hold
but half OF the passengers. Thirteen might
be saved, but the other thirteen would
have to plunge into the sea and take their
chances.
In this emergency the captain, a young
Englishman, spoke up.
How many married men are here?" said
he.
Thirteen men stepped forward.
Let these men get into the boat" said
the captain. WE bachelors will try to
swim
The married men eagerly assented to this
proposal and in two minutes they we're in
the boat and rowing for the beach. Just
then the steamer went down and the thir-
teen bachelors jumped into the angry
waves They were willing to take their
chances. They were willing to give every
advantage to their married brethren. who
had wives and children at home.
And did the heroic bachelors drown? Not
at all. They breasted the gigantic bill
lows IKE mermen and reached the strand
safe and sound. And, then. pauslng a mo-
ment to draw breath, they plunged in
again to rescue the married men. The lat
ter, crazy with fear, had managed to
swamp their boat within fifty yards Of the
beach and were now struggling in the surf
and. bowling for help. The bachelors,
shouting reassuring words to them, got
them ashore, emptied them OF sea water,
rubbed their ears, Gained their fears and
carried them home.
This true story proves anew a thesis that
We have been maintaining in the face OF
frenzied opposition and calumny, for the
last forty-two years. Briefly stated, 1t is
this: That the human bachelor is the most
magnificent being yet produced by the evo-
lutionary process. Far from being the in
ferior of the married man. he IL, we be-
lleve, infinitely the latter's superior, not
only on account Of his greater measure OF
liberty. his more philosophIc mind and his
escape from petty distractions. but also
because OF his obviously greater efficiency.
He Is, in a word, the complete master of
his environment-which means the sum OF
the natural and artificial forces working
toward his discontinue, enslavement and
observation-disclosures the married man is
always handicapped by some inimical and
sinister influence, whether 1t be a sentiment
tai tendency to yield to his wife's idiosyn-
crasies or a supine inclination to submit
to his mOther-in-law's uksses and edicts.
According to the current view the mar
ried man Is, ipso facto, a hero. This view
infects even bachelors themselves, as is
well shown by the proposal OF the captain
In the story. II is revealed again every
time a fresh panic arrives. for the bach
elors are always discharged before the
married men. The theory seems to be that
the latter are OF more value to the world
a notion as indefensible as the kindred
idea that the moon is made of celluloid.
AS a matter of fact. a mans value to the
world is determined, not by the domestic
condition, but by his efficiency. A man
who can earn $1,000 a year is worth two
men who can earn but 5000. A man who
can jump thirty feet Is worth fifteen fat
men who can jump but two feet. A man
who can eat a ham and two cabbages at
a sitting lie worth forty dyspeptics who
MUNICH toast and zweiback. And, finally
a man who. in the face OF constant en-
deavors by fascinating widows, anthropop-
hagus maiden ladies and matchmaking
mammas, to lure him into matrimony, yet
manages TO elude the hymeneal hook. and
to live out his days in a capella blessedness,
doing the linking Of the world and serv-
ing as a glorious example to youth-this
man Is worm nU WHO permit 'heHlselHes
to be dragged. shrieking up the aisle OF
signs. their hair clipped short. their shoes
shining. their eyes bullying with horror and
plain gold rings in their vest pockets.
A soldier who dies gloriously upon the
battle field is not entirely useless TO the
world, It may be admitted with all truth.
but OF infinite greater value is the soldier
who bestrews the field with the manglet
corpses OF his foemen. and then goes home
himself Observation-Disclosures Sun.