The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1908-04-09


: Telegraph.
r 81 wish | knew what my wife would
say to me when | come home tonight"
, ~ wish knew what my wife wouldn't
/ say."-The Smart Set.
Nodd-What does this money strin-
gency mean, anyway? Todd-Why, the
thing has simply spread from me to
the whole Countrywide.
Baker Is the Iuckiest man alive"
what now?" "He has a ffty-horse-
power car and a wife who's afraid to
go out in it."-Harper's Weekly.
DO you blame a man for wearing q
monocle If he wants tor "No," an
swered Miss Cayenne. "But 1 blame
him for wanting Washington
Star.
Jones-Does your wife ever go
through your pockets when you are
asleep? Smlth-Yes; she seems to
think that l am an all-night bank
Town Topics.
But surely you are the man to
whom gave some pie fortnight agoT
Yes, Idly. l thought p'r'aps you'd like
to know I'm able to get about again."
illustrated Bits.
Meeker-Just one year ago to-day
led my wife to the altar. Becker
You did, Ell? Meeker-Yes; and right
then and there my leadership ended
Chicago Daily News.
Maud-Charley tried to propose to
me last night. He made awful work
of it. Gertrude-Why didn't you help
him out? Maud-'Twasn't necessary;
papa came in and did II himself.
Stocks were all down few points
to-day" remarked the broker. 1.-THE
Idea" exclaimed his wife. "Its a
wonder they didn't advertise 1t as
bargain day."-Catholic Standard and
Times
"I'd like to speak to the boss" said
the blind beggar at the door. She's
out to-day" said Mr. Hauskeep. This
is Thursday, you know; anything my
wife or 1 could do for ?'-Phila-
delphla Press.
Wont you sing something, Miss
Muriel?" "Oh, l daren't, after such
good music as we have been listening
to-" But I'd rather listen to your
singing than to any amount Of good
music illustrate Bits.
The Vicar-I was surprised to see
your husband walk out in the middle of
my sermon last Sunday. Mrs. Jones'
You must really forgive him-he's a
somnambulist, and walks in his sleep,
you know.-London Opinion.
Elsie-I thought you said it was b
party? Ernest-It was. Ell
sie-But you went In an automobile.
know we did. Our slsying
of running over two dogs and
a chicken.-New York Globe.
"Ill never forget my feelings" SAID
she, when you said: Will you marry
ne?'" "Why?" he asked, was it such
4 hard thing to answer?' mo, but you
we're such soft thing to answer
Catholic Standard and Times.
what would you do?" asked the e0
,ited politician, 'if paper should call
you a liar and thiefT' WELL" said
he lawyer, IF l were you I'd toss
lp a cent to see whether I'd reform or
lex the editor. Cleveland Leader.
A man who was charged at the VIII
esden police court with intoxlcation
nd using bad language pleaded guilty
0 the first part of the charge, adding:
AS to the language, l know nothing
bout that because I'm deaf."-London
Express.
"Why, Bill didn't know you
rank" Don't often, but I'm going
, run my own auto to-day" Then
on surely ought to be SOBER" Not
Iuch Bound to knock somebody out,
nd got t have an excuse. S'long."-
Public Ledger.
O'Brien-'Tis a quare thing about
'usin O. mine. He has great habit
walkln' in his sleep OToole--Ye
mt tell me? Can't he be cured of
at all? O'BrieD-Cured of It?
lure, It's the maxim of him; he's in
e police force.-Illustrated Bits.
johnny, tell us what your lesson
rs about to-dayT' About octagons,"
piled Johnny. And what pursued
e questioner, SIS an octagon?' Its
many-sided ANIMAL" piped the lad,
nat grabs you when you go in swim
York Evening Post.
Quite MISUNDERSTANDING" began
: agent, as Mrs. Short opened the
or, you have a plano?' YES" she
swered WELL" be continued, "T
Introducing new automatic at
,hment for pianos, and If you"
ont want it," interrupted Mrs. s.
ur piano has a sheriff's attachment,
/ guess that will hold 1t for
lie. Chicago News.
rhe musician was vislbly annoyed
ut hang it all, he said, II told your
orter three or four times over that
violin | used was genuine Stradi-
'ius, and here In his report this
rning there's not word, not
ri I" With 81 ScOrnful lough Tho all