davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1908-11-28
If You are over Fifty Read This.

Most people past middle.age suffer from
kidney aud bladder disorders which Fol-
ey's Kidney Remedy would cure Stop
the drain on the vitality aud restore N need-
ed strength and yignr. Commence taking
Foley's Kidney Remedy today. The Fun
derburk Pharmacy, T. W. Hammond,
Heath Springs. .
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1908-11-28

An Atlanta minister named
Motley has accepted a call TO
Salisbury, N. G. Of course he'll
not have a moJ'ey congrega-
ton.
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1908-11-28

Now that Thanksgiving is over,
all aboard for Christmas
The Lancaster news. [volume] (Lancaster, S.C.) 1905-current, 1908-11-28
Christmas
Jewelry

Quality first then price
that is the proper order of
things in considering a pur
chase of Jewelry or pre-
cious Stones. 1t is none
too soon to buy Christmas
Presents. We are selling
a good many of the wise
buyers already. My engra-
wing block is working over
time now on Christmas
orders. Better be one of
the wise. Come now and
have the trouble over,while
the stock is full and while
we can give you the atten-
ton we like to give. Of
course we haven't put on
the "holiday appearance"
yet; but the stock is all in
and you can inspect wheth-
er you buy or not.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18

Arthur West is to occupy the Scott
Wood.
O. C. Miller returned Saturday from
an extended trip through the southern
states.
Mr.. and Mrs. S. F. Davis recently
spent several days in camp at Perkins
Landing.
Hon. D. J. Foster of Burlington is to
be the orator at the Memorial day ex-
ercises here.
Col. and Mrs. C. S. Emery spent
several days recently at their camp on
Lake Morey.
y Frank Kelley will occupy the house
on Scott avenue recently vacated by
Alden Hubbard.
Mrs. Margaret Hodgeman, who has
spent the winter here, has returned tC
her home in Lowell.
Byron Curtis was in Magog, P. O..
recently launching the new tug-boat
for Prouty & Miller. ,~-.u
Fred Jenne has purchased of John
l.
street, where he now lives.
The new tug-boat John A. H.. re-
Gently put on the lake by Prouty &
Miller, came into port Tuesday. The
boat is of about 10 tons and is
equipped with four cylinder gasoline
engine of 40 horse power. > ~~e
At the Mems Sunday club meeting
on Sunday evening, May 10, the sub
ject of a course of high class enter
tainments for the coming winter was
discussed, from moral standpoint, as
to the effect it would have on the COM
munity.
Blake & Gaines have purchased the
Memphremagog driving park and also
have added to their holdings about 1C
acres adjoining from the Hoskins
property. Many improvements have
been made, including the carrying OF
water around the race course for sprin-
king purposes.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
WHAT is THE SOIL?
Extent of This Precious but Limited
Surface Material

II you were asked to name the most
important of mineral substances. YOU
would doubtless hesitate for a moment
and weigh the respective merits Of
coal, iron and the precious metals.
Only after some consideration prob
ably would it occur to you that these
highly useful substances have insig-
nlhcant value as compared with that
FAMILIAR mixture of ground up min
erals which we call the soil.
Man could make shift to live and
even in measure to progress with
out glass or cement or metals, but his
very life depends upon the little film
OF triturated rock that is spread over
the surface of the globe in the form
OF earth. The constituents of this are
metamorphoSed into the substance Of
plants and ultimately into the tissues
of man himself
Properly to understand the matter,
however, it must be comprehended
that the soil is no important part Of
the earth's structure, except from a
strictly human standpoint. At best it
is only little film of material frayed
off from the jacket called the earth's
crust. To a giant of such size that
the earth were to him what an apple
is to US the soil would be no more
than the bloom on the peach.
With his handkerchief he could wipe
Off the films of water that we call
oceans, like so much dew. and polish
Off the soil as we rub the bloom from
an apple, clear down to the rock foun-
dations, without changing appreciably
the size or the weight Of his toy.
To scrape away the entire crust Of
the earth $50 far as known to us)
would be but to remove an infinitesi-
NAL shell, and the total bulk of air and
oceans aggregates only per cent
of that shell. Yet the oceans cover
three-fifths OF the earth's surface and.
as measured in human terms, are some
miles in depth. How, then, shall we
estimate the insignifcance of that
little powdering of soil, only a few
feet in thickness, that is busted on er
the remaining two-fifths of the earth's
crust.-Appleton's
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18

upon asking OF IT'S not much can
do; but what / can do, bee thou verfa
sure / willie. l knowe that. if dethe comes.
II ordinary men fear it, it frights not you.
accounting it for high honour, to have
such a rewarde of your loyalty. Pray yet
that you may be spared this soc bitter
cup. We pray that you may be. l fear
not that you will grudge any sufferings.
Only if bic submission you can turn them
away, it's the part Of wise man. Tell
me, an If you can, to do for YOU any
thinga that you wolde Rave done. This
general goes back on Wednesday. Rest
.nge peur servant to command.-R- T.
Now. this letter was written accord
ing to a preconcerted cipher Every
third letter after a stop was to tell. In
this way Sir John made out, Panel at
east end Of chapel Slides" On the fol-
lowing evening the prisoner begged 20
be allowed to pass an hour of private
devotion in the chapel. By means of a
bride this was accomplished. Before
the hour had expired the chapel was
empty. The bird had fiown.-London
Tit-Bits.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18

Charles Thompson and Mrs. William
Buzzell were in St. Johnsbury Tues
day of last week.
Miss Jessie Dearborn went to New
port last week for short visit with
her brother, who was at home. Mrs.
Clayton George was in charge of her
store during her absence.
W.. w. Coe has purchased Stanley
automobile, in which he made trip
from Boston to West Burke Sunday,
May 10, in very good time. This makes
the sixth machine in our little village,
which proves that we are progressive
along one line at least.
SHEFFIELD.
J. P. Woodman is in very poor
health.
Mrs. C. A. Young visited in town
several days last week.
Mrs. Irving Frost of Montpelier is
visiting at Human Frost's.
Several were initiated at the last
meeting of the. Good Templars.
Human, Frost has bought Almon
Gray's place and will move there soon.
Mrs. w. Emerson and daughter of
ST. Johnsbury visited in town last
week. e.e--.s -
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
CALEDONIA .COUNTY
WEST BURKE.

N. J. Washborn is quite seriously ill:
Irving circuit of Newport was in
town last week.
Alfred Berubee has rented Robert
Thayer's farm for one year.
Myrtle Agan has gone to Lunenburg
to work during the summer.
John Cole is having his house and
barn painted, Ed. Craig doing the work
Archie Donahue of Glover visited his
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. John Donahue,
last week.
Mrs. Viola Parker has been spending
a few days in ST. Johnsbury with her
sister, Mrs. Doyle.
Miss Lillian Fairbrother of Lyndon
Vile visited her mother, Mrs. Hattie
Fairbrother, Thursday.
Mrs. Ida Bolton and son Plynn, Frank
circuit and Mrs. Janet Coe spent Sun
day with relatives in Waterford.
Mrs. Shirley Hitchcock is spending a
| few weeks with her parents. Mr.. and
Mrs. A. E. Hall. Mrs. Hitchcock is
improving rapidly.
Mr.. and Mrs. D. r. Densmore. 2whe
have been spending the winter II
Orange City and Jacksonville, Fla,
arrived home Thursday afternoon.
Miss Annie Daniels of st. Johnsbury
was in town looking after the pianos
which were out of tune Wednesday
Thursday and Friday Of last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. N. L. Doyle of st
Johnsbury visited here last week. MRS
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
THE FLIRTING LOBBY.
Feminine Visitors to the English House
of Commons.

Women visitors to the English house
of commons are relegated to the semi
seclusion of a gallery provided with a
heavy iron grating. When a gentle
hum of conversation and light laughter
floats down from the ladies' gallery
members look up and see through the
interstices of the heavy grating deli
cate tints of soft fabrics, the bloom of
fair cheek or the CLEAN of a bare
white arm.
Amusement and curiosity, of course,
bring the ladies to the house of COM
mons, but these cannot be the only
motives. The fair visitors would hard
ly trouble to array themselves in such
ravishing evening toilets merely to
where dresses are not seen to ad-
vantage.
No doubt it was with a view to the
prevention of flirting that the rule was
laid down that if a member desires to
converse with a lady in the gallery he
may do so for five minutes only. Mem
bers, especially the young and impress
Sionable, make frequent visits to the
cage. OF course it is for the purpose
of pointing out the celebrities ON the
benches below
But if in doing so he should exceed
five minutes the gallery attendant is
empowered to call his attention, cour-
teously, but firmly, to the fact that he
has outstayed his limit. 1t is to be
feared that this official, in evening
dress, with chain and badge, often
interrupts, by his Times up, sir"'
whisperings of soft nothings in the la
dies gallery, or the flirting lobby" as
it has been decentralization La
dies Realm.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
Nothing Doing.
Nothing doingv

NOthlng dWng!
Is that slang? 1 thought it was I'm.
til l came upon the words in Dickens
''DOmbey 4 Son.
In chapter old Sol Gillis Is ex.
planning to his nephew Walter why
the shop must be>'closed and the bust.
ness abandoned.
You see. Walter" said he. Gin truth
this business is merely a habit with
me. l am SO accustomed to the habit
that l could hardly live if relinquished
1t, but there's nothing doing. nothing
doing"
So, you see, the phrase had it's pa.
thetic fitness many years ago and is
not slang at all.-Jeffersonan Maya
zine.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
Satisfied,

A seedy looking loafer, having or
dered and eaten large and sumptuous
dinner, explained to the waiter that. he
had no money. The waiter imme-
diately told the restaurant proprietor,
who sent for a policeman. The pro-
prietor, going up to the unwelcome
guest, explained that he had sent for a
policeman.
''Thank goodness, you didn't send
for stomach pump the seedy onf
replied, with huge contentment.-If
luStrated Bits. 4
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
INGENIOUS CIPHER.
Tho Letter That Brought Freedom 70
Sir John Trevanion.

During the great rebellion Sir John
Trevanion, a distinguished cavalier,
was made prisoner and locked up in
Colchester castle. Sir Charles Lucas
and Sir George Lisle had just been
made examples of as a warning to
"malignants," and Trevanion had ev-
cry reason to expect d similar end. AS
he awaited his doom he was startled
by the entrance Of the jailer, who
handed him letter.
''May't do thee good growled the
tellow. cit has been well looked to be-
fore it was permitted to come to you"
Sir John took the letter, and the jailer
left him his lamp by which to read it.
Northie Str John,-Hope, that is We best
comfort of We afflictyd, cannot much, ]
fear me, help you now. That l wolde say
, to you, is this only: if ever 1 may be able
to requite that I do owe you. stan .or
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
ABSENCE OF MIND.
4 Funny Story About Ampere, the Fa.
nous Mathematician.

nous Mathematician.
You all know the old joke of the pro-
lessor who, bordering over the saying
that in railway accident absence Of
body was good deal better than alb
railway station and tried to take a
ticket "for the nearest railway acct
dent so as to have the matter proved
to his own satisfaction You doubt
less know the story, too, of the pro-
fessor of mathematics whose new par
Tor maid told him when he rang at his
own door that Professor Jones was
out. I'll call again, I'll call again. he
said and went away
But these are stories merely Here,
however, are some incidents from real
life: Ampere was remarkably absent
minded. Hundreds of stories of his
Observation-Disclosures are told, but quite
the funniest is that of his dinner at the
house of NJ. Fontanes. the grand mas
ter Of the University of Paris. For a
joke somebody had told Ampere that
he must $50 to the dinner in his aca-
demician's uniform of green and gold
and girt With his sword When he got
to the house he was very much an
nOyed to find everybody else in Ordi-
nary evening dress. II will get rid Of
the sword at all events he said 10
himself and slipped it behind the cush-
Ions of 8 sofa After dinner Amperx
forgot himself, as usual, and becam~
lost in abstruse calculation. He took
little piece of chalk out Of his pocket
and began working out problems c8
the black satin cover Of the manteI.
piece. He became so absorbed in what
he was doing that all the guests LEFT
without his noticing them, and when
De wrote down Q. E. D. no one was
left in the room except Nine. Fon.
tanes, and she unfortunately sat fast
asleep On the sofa where Ampere's
sword lay hidden.
Ampere went down upon his knees
and pulled gently at the sword, so as
to get it away without waking the
lady. He pulled and pulled, and pres
emily the sword came out-without the
scabbard. At this moment Nine. Fon.
tanes awoke and alarmed the house
with her screams of terror at seeing a
/ man on his knees before her with a
drawn sword in his hand.
But mathematical professors have
| not the monopoly Of absentminded-
ness. La FOntaine, whose fables are
the delight of adult Frenchmen and
their children's earliest task, went to
the court of Louis XVI to present a
copy Of his fables to the king. And he
forgot the book. Fortunately, the king
knew La Fontaine, his fables and his
foibles and gave him a thousand pis-
toles (about $3.50. Unfortunately,
though, La Fontaine left the money in
his hired carriage on his way back to
Paris.
But the prettiest piece Of absent
mindedness of which 1 have ever heard
was that Of Professor Pozzi, who ask
ed lady who was bewailing the fact
that she had no children whether she
thought the failing was hereditary.
This is even more amusing than tie
delightful answer made by the engi-
neer of the Seine tunnel, NJ. Berlier, ia
servant who told him when he went
to call upon his lawyer that that gen.
tleman had died that morning. "Oh,'
said M. Berlier, ''dear, dear. I'm so sol-
ry. But tell him / won't keep him 4
minute"-St James, Gaz4tta
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18

A wasp you should never attack u1i.
less you are sure to destroy it or it
will assail you again with increased
evaporation and redoubled vigor.-
Mirabeau.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
It Wasn't FUNNY.

"But he's regular professional fun.
ny man.
81 know he isl
'But you referred to him as an 'un.
conscious humOrist.'"
$50 he was on the occasion to which
/ refer. He had tried to be funny with
n tough gent from the Fourth ward."-
Philadelphia Press.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
All Dear to Him.

.Wife-The doctor orders me to the
mineral baths at Carlsbad, and you re-
fuse me the means to 60. That shows
how little you value me. Husband
On the contrary, do not wish to lose
a pound of you.-Fliegende Batter.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
His Consolation.

Mr.. Justcott-Why, what are fyou
crying about dear? Mrs. Justqott-
Oh, George! The mice have got into
the pantry and eaten up beautiful
custard pie made myself! Nd. Just
eott-There, there! Don't cry over a
few little mioe.-Cleveland Leader.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18

Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup is best for wom-
en- and children It's mild action and pleas
ant taste makes it preferable to violent purg-
atives, such pills, tablets. etc. Get the
booklet and a sample Of Orino at F. d. Pierces'
Barton; Or F. j. Kinney's Barton Landing.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18

Soak ink stains In sour milk, and
should a stain still remain rinse in a
weak solution Of chloride Of line.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18

Road Commissioner.Gr began work
on the roads Wednesday with John
Chesley's and Jack browns teams.
FrediDayihas moved from the house
near the Methodist church to the one
Hill & Dayipurchased of Frizzell and
Walker. ssxa tz..a
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
Sharp Boy.

''Now," asked a music teacher, ''what
IL the note above F?" IF sharp"
Eyes, and the note beloY F" IF
blunt!'
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18

Live. laugh and love. 3rners'll cous
. time when you can't7-Success.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18

Rev. Mr.. Sanborn preached YER
interesting sermon at the Methodist
church Sunday.
Mrs. Trucotte and Harry Huntoon
have moved their families into the
Elliott house at Morgan.
IRASBURG.
Roy Phillips was on the sick list last
week.
Moses White, who has been quite i'll,
is improving.
Mrs. H. E.. Lee is entertaining her
uncle from Massachusetts.
Mr.. and Mrs. L. P.' Bashaw visited
his parents in Albany Sunday.
G. B. Brewster and son Leonard of
Boston were in town last week.
Mrs. Alma Corley and son of Barton
visited at C. D. Bailey's Monday.
Mr.. and Mrs. E. A. Bashaw of AL
bany visited his brother, l.. T. BashaW
last week.
Harrie Bailey attended the Holyoke
Grocery Co.'s banquet at Woodsville,
N. H., Friday.
Charlie Taylor of Troy has moved in
to one of the tenements in Charles
Healey's house.
The body of Charles Badger was
brought here from Barton Landing for
burial Tuesday.
Mrs. George Clark has been in
Coventry the past week caring for
Mrs. Levi Dean.
Regular meeting of M. w. A. May
q. A full attendance is desired.
Special work at this time.
Leland Herman of Littleton. N. H.,
spent the past week with his parents,
Mr. and Mrs. Fred Herman.
DIR. and Mrs. Henry Somers of West
Derby visited his parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. H. H. Somers, Thursday.
Mrs. Hattie Howard, who has been
confined to her bed for several weeks
at the home of l. S. Drew, was moved
to her home Monday, where she will be
cared for by Mrs. Tinker.
Prof. Harrington of Boston gave
concert in Courthouse hall Thursday
evening assisted by Mrs. Mabelle
Blake of Barton. Mrs. Blake is fine
singer and the concert was much en-
joyed by all present.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
NEWPORT.

Alden Hubbard has moved to West
Derby.
Walter Maloney spent Sunday in
Boston visiting his sister.
Rev. M. w. Farman of -Westfeld
was in town Wednesday. -
Mrs. Robinson of South street lis
having her buildings painted.
A. H. King of the customs force at
Richford was in town Wednesday.
G. M. Howard of :.Sherbrooke, P. O.,
was in town Wednesday on business.
The annual repairing Of the steamer
Lady Of the Lake was begun Monday
C. A. Bancroft, special deputy..col
lector of customs, has been i'll the pas
week.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
DISTURBED THE OoNGRHGArIoN

DISTURBED THE COMMUNICATIONS
The person who disturbed the congregation
last Sunday by continually coughing is re-
quested to buy bottle of Foley's Honey and
Tar. F. D. Pierce, Barton; F. J. Kinney, Bar
ton Landing.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
TROY.

Mrs. Fred Beck of St. Johnsbury is
at Bradley Houston's.
Robert Wilson of Sutton, P. O.. has
been visiting his brother, Isaac Wilson.
Rev. Fred Williams is entertaining
his cousin, who recently. came from
England.
Mr. and Mrs. William Hackett and
daughter of Newport have been visit
ing at A. J. Columns.
Miss Dora Temple, a trained nurse
of Burlington, is with her parents, Mr..
and Mrs. Holland Temple.
Mrs. E. w. Langmaid of Newport
is visiting her sister, Mrs. Nelson Mar
tin.
Mrs. Frank Button of Albany has
been spending several days here visit
ing relatives.
Mr.. and Mrs. Peter Martin have
gone to New York to spend few
weeks with their son, Ned Martin.
Mrs. C. L. Hutchins of Montgomery
was here with millinery recently. The
people of Troy. are always glad to see
her.
Homer E. Powell of Milton, who was
found dead in his room in Burlington
hotel recently. was a former we'll
known lawyer here. His many friends
here regret his death.
The children gave Goldie Percy a
surprise at Aiken's hall on the evening
of May IA, the occasion being her 18th
birthday. Refreshments were served
and games played. All had fine time.
WESTFIELD
Deacon and Mrs. M. C. Hitchcock
visited in Newport last week.
Mildred and Milton Bell and Mamie
Cummings have had the mock measles.
Miss Agnes Taylor of Massawippi,
P. O., is visiting her sister, Mrs. John
Watkins.
Albert Eastman. who has been
visiting his aunt. Mrs. Alvin Crosby OF
Compton. P. O., for several weeks, has
} returned home.
Chaplain M. w. Farman attended the
meeting of the Orleans association of
Congregational ministers held in
Coventry Tuesday, May IL.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
MORGAN CENTER.


L. H. Burroughs has gone to STAN
nard.
Mrs. l.. H. Burroughs was home
from her work in Derby Line one day
last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. Clarence Maxfield of
Barton Landing were called here last
week by the death of her father.
w. P. Barrager has bought the farm
known as the Gray farm and intends
moving there from his place at the
Center.
By some mistake last week an item
stated that the sugar crop was much
larger than usual. The4crop was very
small and the, farmers are holding
their sugar for better prices. :,
There was pleasant gathering at
the home of c.. j. Goodsell FRIDAY
evening, May g.. when large party of
friends called to celebrate the 18th
birthday Of Miss Tessie Goodsell.
Music, games !. and refreshments ali
aided in making the occasion a most
enjoyable one Presents with SIM
of money and the best wishes of ali
were given her as reminder of the
occasion
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-05-18
LOWELL.

F. Newton and son Max were in town
Friday.
The sick people in town are all re-
ported better.
A son was born to Mr.. and Mrs. Geo.
W. Curtis May II.
Mr.. and Mrs. C. Stannard spent Fri
day at Barton Landing.
Milo Hines has sold his span of
horses to a man in Albany.
DR.. Noah Tittemore returned Tues
day from his visit in Canada.
F. Blanchard and Carl Winchester
started for the West Monday.
Rev. J. H. Wallace of Richford was
in town last week for few days.
Horace Lapier went to Montgomery
last week to attend the funeral of his
cousin.
Mrs. Nellie Brahana has gone to
Springfield, Mass, for visit among
friends.
Miss Nellie Harding has gone to
Lynn, Mass. for a few weeks visit
among friends.
Mrs. l. Stephenson was in Johnson
Monday. Her daughter Louise has re-
turned to Bakersfield.
Mrs. Maggie Hodgeman, who has
spent the winter in Newport, returned
to her home Tuesday.
VIM. Thornton has sold his house to
Will Shortsleeves and bought the small
house on the Touchette place.
Walter Pope is home from hospital
in Montreal, where he went for treat
ment He is now slowly gaining.
The remains of Mr.. Mitchell were
brught here from Albany Saturday,
May 9. The funeral was held at the
church, Rev. FIR. Lavigne officiating.
Rev. C. M. Severance, missionary
visited his father, Rev. M. L. Sever.
ance, recently. During his visit here
he gave very interesting lecture al
the Congregational church on his triI
to Japan. The proceeds were given t.
the Sunday school. Mr.. Severance re
turned Saturday.