The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1908-09-19

DOCTOR but ii has a QuaTe taste! on,
dring it, Barney. it's good Scotch
whisky" replied the doctor.
well, if you say it's whisky, doc
tor, on principle l couldn't refuse it, >
and placing a fabby hand on his stom-
ach Barney swallowed the contents of
the tumbler, and then wiping the back
of his he'd across his mouth went his
way A short time afterwards as the
doctor was driving over to the poor
house to do his mornings work, he met
Barney. Barney grew very excited at
the doctors approach, and taking of
his hat and pulling at his forelock, he
shouted out:
Doctor. jewel. wan minute, place.
I've a question to ak We.
well, Barney, what is it?'
rs a Scotchman's inwards the same
as miner"
why do you ask me that question,
| Barney"
Wei. begorra doctor, after We CAV
me that drop ov Scotch, there was
rivolushin in my inside, an the llkes
ov il never was in this world atore TO
settle it. | tux buttermilk in its warm
an cowld state. mugfulls of strong tay
an lashings ov sirrabout, bud all was
no use, and ye'd never guess what set
tied it."
NO. Borney."
well thin, I'll tell We, twas wan half
glass of Muldoon's bad whisky. l
towld me state to Tracey, the black
smith. an he said: 1T was all OWN to
the formashun ov me stomach, NINE
he said was different to Scotchmans S,
an that's the raisin l aXed We. Bud Nv
you ever have a pain or ache doctor
try Muldoon's tin-year- ould. an " II
doesn't cure We at wanst it VIII XIII
We outright"
If there was one thing the doctor
hated to do most of all others it was
to extract a tooth. He seldom did IT.
and if he did it was only after the
greatest persuasion on the sufferers
part Its the dentists work not
mire," he would say, and you Will
have to wait until Thursday (the day
on which the dentist used to visit the
village). One evening, l shall never
forget it: l was sitting with the doctor
on bench outside his hall door The
tailor from the village opened the lit
tie wicket gate that led into the doc
tors lawn, and seeing us he stopped
short for a moment and then sudden
ly placing his two hands on his mouth
he gave utterance to piteous scream
and
ooh. doctor jewel bud the light of
another day I'll never see wud the
same TOOTH
The doctor shuffled uneasily on his
seat and said nothing.
Slowly the tailor took his hands from
his mouth and advanced a step or two.
There is another piteous scream and a
wringing of the hands. and "a
rs there no kind angel in all this
world to relieve Mickey Doonan ov his
sufferings.'
The doctor spoke not a word.
Another advance on the part of the |
taller, another piteous scream. and
ooh. the field oV battle is nothing to
this, nor the tin plaques of Egypt, nor
the crossin' ov the Dead Sea, nor
Come, by the Great Frederic, come"
and the doctor rises from the bench |
and makes for the surgery, with the |
tailor his mouth pressed hard in his |
hands. after him.
sit down in that chair. Doonan."
"Yis. sOr. bud will it be painful?"
About as bad as the field of battle |
and the ten plaques, Doonan. Jane Ito |
his housekeepeD bring me some warm |
water and little wadding.
Now. Doonan, open your mouth |
wide until 1 see this tooth Ha! It's a
back tooth, and by the Great Fred
eric, it looks a ticklish job
Dconan by this time was looking far
from comfortable. His eyes roamed |
round the surgery and took in the
white and blue medicine jars, lint and
bandages, lancets and small sharp Gu
riously fashioned knives. and then that |
awful looking instrument, the forceps,
calmly reposing in a basin of water.
[ could not blame the poor fellow. nor
am sure. dear reader. you could not
sither, when in that dread moment his
eyes wandered longingly, so longingly.
to the surgery door. l felt the climax
IF the tailor's fortitude would soon
come. and it came thus
''Dostor jewel. bud since l sat down
n this chair / feel the pain altogether |
gone. Twas the wind outside that got |
nto me tooth and made me so bad. I'm
wonderful well now, and maybe l ought
o give this tooth ov mine another
Nance" and poor Doonan's hands are
playing nervously all the time around |
lis shaking knees.
The doctor answered not a word to
Ooonan's speech, but taking off his
'oat and tightening up his shirt sleeves
lie took the forceps out of the BASIN
to himself as he did so, but
aking care that we should hear the
whisper:
BY the Great Frederick. twill be
worse than taking off a leg"
Thas whisper completely shattered
,oor Doonan's fortitude. He half rises
n the chair, one foot is advanced
lightly, the right hand goes down to
he floor. where his hat lay, one eager
ook at the distance that separates him
rom the surgery door and another look
f dread at the doctor. The spring is
made. and the words we hear as Doc
IAN bolts from the surgery into the
ard are:
Doctor, jewel, I'll give me tooth an
ther chance
by the Great Frederic" exclaimed
he doctor. sinking into the chair va
ated by Doonan, but is not that a
wifi cure and the doctors peals of
aughter resound around the whole
ouse.
DO you see that jar there" said the
octor to me one day. well, it con- .
aims sedative powder and a spoonful
f that in pint of water is what 1
i've almost half my patients. You
now" he continued. chose poor peo-
lie come to you, and they tell you they
ave every disease in the calendar.
now it is all Imagination that is the
natter with them. They expect me to
rescribe for them. I simply give them
mixture of that (pointing to the jar