The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-12-17
DRIFT WOOD

-U v man can't go by q bargain window without looking in.
 Sometimes a man tells a white lie to ayoid q black look from his wife.
 Don't .'klSk:" suppose you were cat and had to live nine upright lives.
 In starting out to paint the town do not mix your colors.
 1t seems that we will have to turn on the light as well as the water in regard to the biz canal
 Wonder if Mars has as much trouble with all her canals as we have had with ours at Panama
 
 4 rich spinster reputed to have been worth s50,oOo.0oo. has recently died being the case. what chance Is there for an old maid without money?
 If Teddy kills enough lions in the African jungles of course he will be
  George Washington never told q lie,
 And now he's gone up higher. But Teddy every day it seems It Isa very sad thing for q man who has an end in viswsto finally only see his finish.
 Mfr. Rockefeller told the motorman of a street car the other day that he envied him his job. Wonder why? Does he think he could crush more The new Congressmen are making lots of fuss, trying to create the im- pression that they are earning their salarfSs'
 Women do lots of foolish things sometimes. but you never hear of one walking into a saloon and paying for wouldn't turn their heads to look at his funeral procession as it wont by, and yet all the time he Is under the impression that he Is making himself immensely popular. .~ Love not only makes Che world go round but has a similar effect upon the wheels in the lover's head.
 Neighbors are such nice things to conversation when all other topics ve<become boresome to us.
 There are 1i.ooo women stenograph- CTS in, New York City. all of whom think they can give NoRh Webster cards and spades when it comes to spelling.
 Say. December doyn this way is as mild and well behaved as May. and we can't help but pity folks who live in odorous. MYrky Manhattan this time of year.
 A Chicago man has just bought a supply of lS oOo barrels of KsntTeEy move to Alabama by the first of the A pretty girl threw her arms around a drummer's neck at the Sunset depot in San Antonio. coyly called him ''pa- pa" and deftly ptnehed diamond from his shirt front the other day. O. tenn have to place these knights of the grip in the mollycoddie class. We never would have thought things could come to such a pass. Oh it's shop shop. shop.
 From morning until night. There's nothing else to talk about. There's, nothinR else to write. Oh the pretty Christmas presents, , As they glitter in a row. Have such wonderful effects
 Tn making people spend their dough. Oh. it's shop. shop. shop,
 She will give yoi; something nice, And you've got to give her something
 swell
 No matter what the price. Oh it's push. push. push,
 Mid the lamentations loud, Through the ever growing, crowding' Rushing.f busy Christmas crowd.
 -P. H. A. 'T'II welcome death," sings Mir. Drift wood Armstrong in The Montgomery Advertiser. We hope this melancholy thought was not induced by the fact that MontEomery goes "dry" on Jan- uary 1.-Washingtou Herald
 MistIetoe is the bashfuI mans best
 Through the Nah Bag. Kirkwood, Mo, Dec. 1Si '08 Mir. P. H. Armstrong, Montgomery. Dear as sIr-we receive The Daily Ad- much interest. And as, there is a very large family of us. we very often have arguments on your personal appear For this reason. write to ask if you will kindly publish one of your latest in The Advertiser.
 If y0u do not care to have your picture published, please send one. we will appreciate 1t very much.
 "Subscriber." (As We have had several other re- quests of this nature, we'll try to run Q photograph soon. and if you can stand the shock, perhaps we can. Many thanks.-P. H. Al Chicago News.
 Gunner-where have you been. old InaaF Guyer-Just back from Pittaburg.