Waterbury evening Democrat. [volume] (Waterbury [Connecticut]) 1903-1917, 1908-01-25
MIR DOOLEY AGAIN
He has Something 10 Say About
Editorial Conscience.
"Fwat's an iditoryul conscience"

| asked Mr. HenneSSy.
"Neyer-r heerd iv Ut" said MI
Dooley, but ! think | know fwhat u
is like.
Hogan has dag be the name i'
Brian Boru, that he bought FIN mar
named Wallace. This dag bit ar
lnglishman be the name iv Cr-rom
well that works. in Oakville, an
Cr-romwell sued Hogan f'r tin thou
sand dollar'rs, f'r the alyunashun IL
some iv his pants an part of his
anatomy. Whin the case came tC
thrile before Judge Lowe"
why, shure Judge Lowe dom
thry them kind iv cases." broke in
Mr. Hennessy.
He thried this wan said MI
Dooley. 'He was helpin' out Judge
Cowell, who was busy that day
listenin to the prayers iv Brooklyn
an Town Plot. Whin all the wit.
nesses had been sworn a good many
oaths, Judge Lowe said, L riZzerve
me decision till / find out fwethel
Cr-romwell or Brian Boru is tC
blame
That night the judge wint home
to Cheshire, thinkin' har-rd an very
hard about the case. He sat up I'M
til late thryin' to decide, but the case
seemed to be goin' agin Brian Boru
an that most bruk the judges hear'rt
So he was about to give up in dis
pair-r, an about ready to go to bed
an git SIGH rest as a man can who is
both judge an lawyer whin an iday
shtruck him an he wrote: / find
that it Is wan Of the most notoryus
anac'risms iv histhry to maintain
that Brian Boru bit Cromwell
Brian Boru, God resht his sowl, con-
tinued the Judge, was dead FIR ages
before Cromwell thought iv bein
born. But, he whit on wild tears in
his eyes, had he ever met that cham
peen butcher on the im'rald sod iv me
fatherland, faint wan bite alone he'd
have taken, he'd have eaten up the
raskil. Thereupon me decision is that
the whole thing is hoax, iv which
| suspect Jawn O'Neill to be author
| therefore ordher the said Jawn
I O'Neill to pay me wan thousand dol
lars iv conscience MUMMY So there
you are
Il don't see the pint" said Mr.
Hennessy.
Don't your asked Mr. Dooley
"Well, look. Whin a judge or an
iditor is at his wits end he goes an
looks in the dickshunry, an finds the
wor'rd conscience. And thin comes
out iv his pr-rivate office feelin' bad
81 TIL pi,~fh iVn Mt
himself an his FRIENDS. He goes
along the shtreet an he sees yer bic
Jamesey punchin' the nose Nv little
fella be the name of Rey Solomon
hauser, an he throws up his pious
hands an says God give these little
haythen conscience He goes up the
shtreet a little farther an he sees
you settin' on yer wheelbarrow in
joyin' a pipe full iv Mrs Miller's
while yer boss is here gettin' hot
whiskey. o you thief he yells
is this the way you arm your good
pay Nv wan-sixty a day FIN Ed Nc
Manus?' Thin he goes along, this
iditor does, an he meets the mayor
See here, me fine bucco,' he be-
gins never mind the law, whin ii
comes to a chance iv gettin' money
but think Nv the conscience that was
put inside iv you
"Who put it inside iv me?" axes
the mayor.
God did" seq the iditor.
did God make yer republican
FRIENDS too? axes the mayor.
vivid the help iv my iditoryul page
he fu
Well now the mayor goes on did
ye, actin together put any con-
science inside iv said fr-riends?
They've done fwhat want to do.
Thin the iditor thinks little.
why Mr. Mayor. he argues, you
mustn't think like that. Nv coorse
me friends had a conscience always,
didn't discover ut until this week.
The whole thing. Hinnessy," went
on Mr. Dooley rimminds me Nv big
shtrappin fella be the name ~ Patsy
Corners that uwisht to come in here
until he took the pledge. Wan night
he wint to hear the mission father.
an in the church he heard about
the Jews putin our Lord to death.
So whin Patsy was goin' home that
night he seen Jew man near
Scovilrs bridge an he give him a
wallopin' that id kill John l.. whin
he was champeen.
"Twhy did you lick me-" axes the
Jew.
Twas yer r-race that crucified
Christ" seys Patsy.
Yes. but that was nineteen hun
dred years ago. sey the Jew
We'll, maybe so seq Patsy. but
I've been neglectin' me religion an
I didn't hear iv IL Until tonight
"Hinnessy finished Mr. Dooley
amt your bic Jimmie goin. to be an
iditOr?"
He is" admitted Mr. Hinnessy.
Well" said Mr. DOoley. 'whin you
ARE teachin' him his prayers. tell
him to OK God to help him to extind
the iditoryul conscience TO the ads
y. n. +.