davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
No Come Back.

Some Of the West Indian islanders
have learned that when a foreigner
misbchavcs on their shores It Is better
to suffer In silence than to mete out
punishment Mt the risk Of a descending
gunboat from the mlscreant's native
land. \ judge In Haiti. however. re-
Gently took occasion to pay of old
scores and To redeem his self respect
In the case Of an offender brought be-
fore him.
To his first question as to the nation.
ullty Of the accused the interpreter had
answered that the prisoner was from
Switzerland.
"Swltzerland!" said the Judge. "An,l
Switzerland has no seacoast. has III"
mo %seacoast. your honor" replied
the interpreter.
And nc navy" continued the judge
"And no navy. your honor" was the
reply.
Every well. then" said the judge
give him n year at hard Tabor
Brooklyn Life.
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
Inc Othcr Reason.

\ teamstcr ~rctircs at the age of
ninety with an accumulation Of $50
Goo. He says he waits and IS cntitled
to q rest. Some inquirers want to
know how he could have saved sO
much IN $12 a week. the highest wages
he ever received. The answer Is easy
He got ~ a day. He lived on 90 cents
q day. He saved the difference. I lived
IN New York OH 8 cents u day 70,
nearly six months and was in maSniii
cent health. Some people eat 10 live
others live to eat. As tho old chap OF
the ferry boat said to the small boy:
Sonny. why does a pig eat?
"'Cause he's hungry"
"No. There's another reason"
"Whut's dat2"
"He wants to make a hog Of him
self."-New York Press.
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
How TO Stop Q Nose Bleed.

When the bcilboy responded to the
ignai he found the elderly travelling
lan standing In the center of the room
Gliding n handkerchief % his nose.
on which the blood was oozing.
GIVE me II slip alongside or the
cad. good and hard" said the elderly
an Turning his face toward the 10.
IL speaking with difficulty.
Bat. sir. r.
Don't stop to talk" sputtcrrd the
H~Nciing man slap me ! tell YOU"
gain ho,,ing his head or" ard The
, he i'atrd r"r u moment. then tim
~ slapped the mans face. Harder!
puuautcl the smiltcu II The boy
49, iiA'rl no longer. hut II his open
Da!n dealt the man II vigorous blow.
That's better" gruntcl the CORY one
~ he removed the handkerchief anl
a'tcr Il test found the bleeding had
stopped. I'm subject 10 these attacks
y nose bleed" ne explained to the as-
,,liHhrI youth. handing him II tip II
nave tried all sorts OF rene les. but
nothing acts more promptly shan u
Sow along ilr i've head The SHOCK
rrmS to plraly 2p Che ruptured blood
vessels aud the quit work 40 once
Try it S0nr time II yuu haze the occii
ion. | got the ilra from an OIL physi
ian in MCNiro." New York i'rcSs.
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
Newton's Telescope.

NewtOn's telescope is a clumsy look.
ing instrument. nine inches in length,
two inches In aperture and capable OF
magnifying thlrty-cight times. 1t was
entirely made by Newton himself. who
first exhibited II before the Royal go
ciety in 1911. and more than 100 years
later his successor In the presidency OF
the society laid before George III. Sir
William Herschel's scheme for max
Ing a telescope on Newton's plan. to be
forty feet in length and four feet In
aperture.-Pall Mall Gazette.
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
A Bio

A geographical expedition which set
cut for Australia on an exploring and
mapmaking tour had engaged II negro
cook. who took great interest In every
thing he saw. While the party was en-
route q kangaroo broke ont of the grass
and made for the horizon with pro-
siigious leaps, an event that interested
,he colored gentleman exceedingly.
"You all have pretty wide meadows
hereabouts, reckon" he said to the
native who was guiding the party,
mot any larger than tho e Of other
countries" returned the guide most po-
litely.
.Weil. there must bs - *. poHar-
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
Sam Weller.

II was Sam Weller who made Dick
II famous. "Pickwick Papers" yer
a complete failure financially until TIL
unique character was introduced. TIL.
press was all but unanimous in prais
ing Samivai as an entirely originu
character whom none but II great gen
ius could have created. Dickens r.
ceived over $4,000 for "Pickwick Pa
pers." and at the age Of twenty-six h'
was incomparably the most populu
author OF his day.-London Standard
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
Reduced Size.

after a concert al Manchester. Ere
land. JOachi!... thu 80 eat viOllnist. WA
At II station. wai,ine iur Il tain
.ectable looking a apparent
.avvy in Lis be- clothes, paced at
ID "n hiie. catching him wi I
r,est, Iiua.l. he asked f"i .
All got it. 5 ne Grew al
ct II Slartc4 be looked Joa,A =
ne face ,h.Y Juat as he ".i
,.,gu OH he d., Il the yioliu,sI y
sc T..
nglnnnl ,.. ne man." 80 !
.iIm used Ia say declares 20.
Of ( ~ sti that he ur\,s
ltli ~ Whole - ~.
g musico .tirUI had lie ~
i~s,np Ia white rf % 80 tine
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
A man was recently beng :

A nan was recently being tt
murder. but the evidence usuin
was so weak that the Judge d."
the jury to find a verdict of
guilty and notified the court OF
intention to- stop the ease Blu Il
youthful counsel for the defense wan
ed the opportunity Of becoming IN
NOUS. He asked permission to address
the court. Certainly. Mr. Cantsp0ut.
remarked the judge. We'll hear sou
with pleasure. but first, for safetv'S
sake. Wen acqult the prisoner"
The learned counsel biushed. Lon
doh bcrap~
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27

"a, nign glass r%oundab0uts. nen:' ne
insisted.
mot that know Of" replied the
guide. "Why DO you ask srch odd
questiOnsT'
why, I'll tell you. boss. I was think
in Of the mighty m magnitude
Of them NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. City
Independent.
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
Tame Your Rattiesnakes.

A tame rattlesnake belonging to a
Arizona farmer sleeps every night -
the front gate OF its owners garden,
coiling himself around the gate air
gatepost. so that u lock and chain I
keep out intruders are not needed
Pittsburg Dispatch
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
Eciled.

"Ah" said Bragley. with a view To
making Miss Wise ~jealons II was
alone last evening with come one ! ad
nire very much"
"Ah!' echoed the bright girl ALONE
were Ou2"-Phiialelphla Press.
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
Financial Expedient.

ShOeblack- Shine. sir! Four SOUS
Passerby-N No thank You 81 rIlack
Two sous? Passerby No. %Shoeblack
For nothing, then! Passerby A
right. II you like. Shoeblack laftel
having finished IN shoe,--It's q sous
to clean the other. sir.-NOe Loisirs
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
Kent BUSY,

One OF the contemporary poets ask,
"Where are the bright girls of the
pastT' Our own observation IN that
some OF them are administering "a"
tious doses Of paregoric tn the brig
girls Of the future.
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
A losino Scheme.

"They tell mo that poor Jolly IL u
victim OF his W good fellowship"
THAT'S so. He lost his own health
in drinking other peoples Baltimore
American.
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
Aea-+eL

Mrs. Muggins- My husband IN too
tender hearted - whip the ut 'rc.
Mrs. Bugglns- Hunph. Ny husband
IL SO tender hearted that he rant even
beat the CARPET.
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27
The Cocp,

This fat in a mere coop"
'i-s. John" said his wife sweetly.
e. : the cook has Just few it."-Pitts.
h""" Post
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27

Doctor. you have saved my life! !
feel that ] n never repay yam"
IL feel that I'll sue you II yom dom"
Houston Post.
The Red Cloud chief., 1908-03-27

Where envying IL, there IL confusion
and every evil work. New Testament.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10
HUNT FOR MISSING LINK.

The latest scientific sensation in
Berlin is the sending out of Frau Sc
lenka to Java and Sumatra to find the
missing link in the Darwinian theory.
She is not scientifically trained, but
has a remarkable knowledge of the
controversy regarding the missing
link.
A German exploration party is on
the spot now under DR.. Elbert, but its
researches have not been encourag-
ing. 1t has been Investigating fossil
deposits on the Trinil River in Java,
expecting to find traces of the ape
man, which Dr.. Dubois, of the Dutch
army, says are to be found there. Ell
bert has found traces of human man.
ufactures and the bones of extinct an
imals at least 10000 years old, but
they prove that the ape-man was in
existence at still remoter period.
1t is Elbert's view that man and
the ape-man have two different sets
of ancestors. Frau Selenka will not
believe it. She is convinced that the
lava apeman is the progenitor of the
human species, and will listen to
nothing which will rob her of her
ithecanthropus, as she calls him
Special Correspondence of the New
York World.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10

ICE-SCOOTS AND ICE-SCOOTERS.
Scoots and scooters are the latest
wrinkle in ice-boats. Down on the
Great South Bay, on the southern side
of Long Island, they speak of them
in fun as "ice-water boats" The ad'
vantage in boat of this kind lies in
it's ability to sail on poor ice or to go
across water that it partly open and
frozen, as many of the bays along
the coast are at times. The scoot is
in general In the form Of SHARPLY
but the bottom curves up to the bow.
so that if it is sailing on the water
and comes to the edge of an ice-floe
that is not too high out of the water
the wind will blow the boat up on the
ice, and it will sail along on it's run.
ners at double its previous speed In
the same manner, when it comes to
quite comfortably and become again
a marine craft. A scoot is cranky
boat on the ice, as the runners OF
foresho oes are closer together than on
an ice-boat with triangular frame.
Going before the wind it is all right;
but when sailing on or up into a stiff
wind, it will keep a boy moving to
hold his balance and steady the boat.
The shovel-nosed scooter is an easier
boat to handle, as it is broader than
the sharpy; but it is not quite so
fast, being slightly heavier.-From
"Harper's Outdoor Book For Boys"
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10
A Judge Advises Mothers.

Mother" said a judge of the
Cleveland Juvenile Court the other
day, you are running your boy by
nagging him and telling him he is
not good His teacher tells me he is
good. You had better change your
tactics or we will find him another
home"
Rearing boy or girl is much like
walking a tight wire: The least bob
BILE is likely to precipitate one head
first into disaster. There is but one
way to do it and that is the right way
make the child the companion, then
be good yourself.
The judge hit one nail a resounding
whack on the head when he said:
Don't nag!"
The child who grows up in home
where from earliest times he has
heard the shout: Don't touch that
Don't do this!" "Wtll you stop whis-
tling?" You shall not keep that
dog!" ''Take that kite out of the
housei" and all that sort of thing,
having no liberties about the home,
and who is constantly reminded by
suggestion or direct charge that he is
"the worst boy one ever saW!' is
pretty apt to be driven into being that
very thing.-Omaha Daily News,
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10

tree while pack of twenty raven
Gus timber wolves kept up an inccs-
SAINT chorus beneath. The men were
Tom and Patrick Murphy and they
had their experience in the Silver
Mountains, near Port Arthur, On
tario.
They started off into the woods
to Tom Murphy's trapping headquar-
ters, but before they had gone far
they heard the baying of the wolves,
which gradually became more dis
tinct as the pack collected and got
closer to them. The Murphys thought
little of the matter until they rea-
lized that the wolves were on their
track, following them at good speed.
Two shots failed to scare off the
leaders, so the Murphys got into the
tree, but only just in time, as the
leaders snapped at their heels.
In his hurry to reach safety Tom
tore off a portion of his clothing on
broken branches, and without food
or overcoats the men kept in the
tree all through the night, which to
them seemed to last for ages.
When morning came the wolves
scattered out of sight, but the hun
ters managed to pick off nine of
them, for which they collected $135
in bounty here to-day, being SIS for
each wolf.
Of late timber wolves have become
very bold, owing to scarcity of small
animals which they feed on, and sew
eral instances have been recorded
since Christmas where they have fol-
lowed men and made efforts to attack
them.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10

Make a trench tAo feet wide and six
inches deep with board bottom the
width of the building under the
roosts. Have door at the end OF
this trench, so it will be convenient
to get at to throw out the litter that
will be scratched into it. Scatter a
little chaff or straw at the elevated
end of the floor before feeding. The
chickens will not only get the neces-
sary exercise, but will scratch every
dropping and dirt into the trench,
where it can be thrown out in Sec
ond with shovel. The best floor in
poultry houses is wooden blocks
about six inches long set on end and
filled in between with mortar made
of common clay and coat on top of
blocks to make it smooth.-L. o.
Larson, in The Epitomist.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10
Encourage cement.

Colonel H. w. J. Ham said that
among the funniest things lecturer
hears are some of the introductions
he gets. He gave this as sample of
one evidently intended to keep the
lecturer from thinking too much of
himself:
Ladies and gentlemen, as is well
known to you, our lecture course this
year is not quite so extensive as it
was last season. The fact is that we
went into the lecture course little
too steep last year, and lost consider
able money. To avoid anything OF
that kind this year we are to have a
shorter course and much cheaper
speakers, the first of who 1 now have
the felicity of presenting to you. -
Lyceumite and Talent.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10
POULTRY HOUSE.

Almost every number of the
Epitomist has plan of some kind
of poultry house. A very important
thing about poultry houses is to keep
them clean of litter as the odor that
arises from it is unhealthy for the
chickens. The following plan can't
be beat, as the chickens will do the
cleaning themselves every day, if
given the chance. Have the floor in
the poultry house higher in one end
than the other. For instance, if the
building is twelve by twelve feet
make the floor twenty-four inches
higher where you feed and where the
nests are, than under the roosts.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10

and a dim flush had risen upon her
pale, faded face. mfr. Follett knows
all that know. Jane; if he thinks 1t
pany, it is not for me to forbid it. You
have been happy-you have been very
happy-all these years without any
thing but your own home"
But the time comes that must end all
things" said the vicar. James child
hood is oversize will not be happy al
ways with the same things that have
pleased her till now"
Jane felt that she could almost have
kissed Mr.. Follett for this speech.
"Only think, it is to be next Monday
week, auntie, and I am going to help
Mr.. Mohun to write the invitations"
''And l was going to ask you, Miss
Lynch, if you would be so very good
as to superintend my housekeeper in
her preparations" said Clifford, with
an impromptu insight into Miss Lynch's
character that really did him credit. 81
don't myself know anything about such
matters, of course, and it would be
such kindness if you would consider
yourself the lady of the house for the
OCCASION"
After which master-stroke Miss
Lynch never gave another struggle.
She felt in her heart that Jane had far
better keep away from this ball at
Yatton. She knew what danger there
must be for the girl parading before
the world any mere unmeaning atten-
tions of a man like Mohun; that the
moment the dead peace of her life was
stirred the greatest safeguard to her
happiness would be irrevocably over
thrown. And she loved Jane; and she
would Gn proverbial speech) have laid
down her life to shield the poor girl
from ill. But to refuse to WELD the
scepter of dominion for ten consecu-
tive days in a house like Yatton; to
refuse to take upon herself the govern
ment of men-servants, and women
servants, and a housekeeper-a grand,
fine lady, no doubt, in black silk and
a gold chain-these were temptations
utterly beyond the Lynch nature to re-
sist. She hesitated; she wavered; she
looked at Gifford's handsome, pleading
eyes-and gave in. Jane might accept
the invitation, and she, Miss Lynch,
would be very glad to do anything in
her power that could be of service to
Mohun.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10
The Honor of an Indian.

It is for you to show in your own
lives that the honor of an Indian is
not for sale, the word of an Indian
something more than an empty form
of speech; that you care for your par
ents and friends and your country,
not because you expect to get some
thing out of them in the way of re-
ward, but because you are ready to
give to them whatever they need at
your hands. If you can accept this
for yourselves, and believe it of 9TH
ers, and say so plainly, you will dc
good to your country and your fellow
men beyond all power to calculate
Carlisle (Pa.) Arrow.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10
A TRAGEDY OF MISSION WORK.

"But the expedition to Timbuctu?"
1 queried. Pere Michel paused mo-
ment and his eyes gazed thoughtfully
at the crucifix which he held in his
hand. "Ah, the expedition to Tim.
buctu, monsieur, it is sad story.
''It was the desire of our order
to establish a station in the South.
west Soudan, and so Peres Paul
mier, Menoret and Bouchaud started
on their mission. They spoke Arabic
well, for they had been living with
the tribes in the Algerian Sahara, &C.
quainting themselves with the Ian.
guage and customs of many of the
desert tribes.
South lay the great territory con-
trolled by the Touaregs. Pere Paul
mier and his associates occasionally
came in touch with some of these no.
mads who strayed north with the
caravans or entered the towns to
trade. On several occasions the mis-
sionaries had dressed their wounds
or sores. In return the Touaregs
invited them to their homes in the
desert, and later gave them assu-
RANGES of their protection and safe
conduct south, which they accepted.
with Touaregs, Pere Michel?"
exclaimed in surprise.
'Touaregs from the west of Igidi,
1 believe, monsieur" I knew the
reputation these robbers of caravans
bore from Lake Tchad to the Medi-
terranean, reputation for all that is
fierce, treacherous and cruel. / had
run across them in the suks of desert
towns down in Tripoli where they
came to buy camels and dates. Tall,
sinewy, cat-like fellows with a cloth
blue, black or white-covering
the lower half of the face to lessen
evaporation, and long, cross-hilted
knives in scabbards attached by
leather bracelets to their wrists
But it was suicide, Pere Michel,
to have placed their lives in the
hands of Touaregs from the Igidi
Desert"
"Ah, monsieur, the Arabs among
whom they dwell tried to dissuade
them, but the possibility of reaching
their long-desired goal, Timbuctu.
now seemed assured. From the time
when they passed beyond the sand
hills their whereabouts and happen
ings were shrouded in the greatest
mystery, and they disappeared as
completely as though the earth had
swallowed them up. No communica-
IL
reached their friends here at Maison
Caree or elsewhere From "The
White Fathers of North Africa" by
Charles Wellington Furlong, in
Scribner.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10
BOBBY'S STOCKINGS.

Little Bobby's Aunt Helen went to
spend the night at Bobby's house.
She slept in the room next to the nur-
sery. In the morning she heard Bob
by making a great fuss about being
dressed. She called through the reg
lister which is between the two rooms,
Bobby, Bobby, what's going on in
there?" The answer came back
promptly, in a pitiful wall, "My 'tock-
ms. Harper Magazine.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10
CONITNDRUMS.

Why are sheep supposed to be
great gamesters?
Answer-Because the young ones
are seen to gambol (gamble), and
many, of the old ones are blacklegs.
What professional man makes the
most precarious living?
Answer-A dentist, of course, as
he lives entirely from hand to
York Tribune.
The Prince George's enquirer and southern Maryland advertiser. (Upper Marlborough, Md.) 1882-1925, 1908-04-10
TALES OF
EXPLORING PRIMEvAL CAVES.

EXPLORING PRIMEVAL CAVES.
In the summer of 1907 Robert
Dunn was intrepid enough to brave
the fumes and deadly gases of the
new volcanic island which had just
been thrust above the surface of
Bering Sea. Of his unprecedented
trip he writes as follows in the Out
ing Magazines:
II stumbled over red-purple blocks,
from the size of your head up. Where
the water Tapped them, they were
ringed with deeper and more deadly
orange. Waist-high, clinkery patches
of smaller stones, where slides had
choked old vents were splashed
white or pale with sulphur, tremb-
ling with heat or coiling weak steam
wisps. Flop! I fell knee-deep into
the lagoon. Blocks and powders un-
certainly propped eager landslides,
all balanced just at the angle of rest,
ready for the touch of a fly's foot to
crash into the pale-bloody stew be-
meath. Higher, ridged cliffs choked
with tuffa eddied out vast coils of
vapor from invisible vents, wonder
full hot caves, crusted with white and
yellow salts, throbbed and spluttered
as if they hid million scratched
lucifers. 1 started slide after slide.
on all fours, or by sudde-- Eaiancing.
My heart beat furiousIy. Well, this
was the excitement I'd been thirsting
for. The inner-questionings were
answered by being overwhelmed
But suppose the Thing should stir
and grow some more, right off? Sup
pose
''The cool gale touched me, like
a fevered being at window opened
suddenly. 1 was TO windward of the
steam. The crumbling shafts of
Bogoslov, peppered with murees,
were in full sight across the chan
mel, and the open sea below was now
only muddy. But upward? Oh, yes,
you might dodge the caves and step
lightly over the yellow vents, but
where the purple blocks ended the
upper cliffs shot up sheer, uncertain,
crumbling into the upper pall-into
God knows where, even if you got
there. 1 had to see where 1 was
going. You couldn't grope about, as
If only exploring the steam room of
Turkish bath, which it was up
there. 1 zig-zagged up and down
awhile, testing each rock with foot,
for avalanches that would end in
hot plunge. At last a parting cloud
of steam showed gully.
Though this led almost sheer
into the guessed-at skyline, it would
guide, anyhow. 1 waited till the
puffs waned, for the vents belched
intermittently, irregularly, then
started, maybe to be checked and
choked in ten PAGES. l corkscrewed
around the trembling, leprous-yel-
low places, holding wind where to
breathe was to suffocate, lodging or
side-stepping as my boot-soles
scorched; and when bunch of vents
prisoned me a moment, 1 laid the
thermometer on them, till a rift in
the pail planned a wa out. Funny
but either a hole was a breathing
Satan, and sent the mercury splash
to the end of the tube, which told it
hottest at PIP degrees, or it was plain
ninety-four degreeS-the average
surface heat, rising only ten degrees
or so when 1 jammed the bulb down.
But that terrible suggestion of ten
sion and reserve force, as the live
ones painted into my face, all still
as the gravel"