Abilene weekly reflector. [volume] (Abilene, Kan.) 1888-1935, 1908-12-24
kLEXANDER'S
VIEWS


Our hired man came IN with choice
little bit OF gossip, and my Uncle Az
exander and Aunt Hetty listened with
interest was interested, too.
HE came q hyin' out o. the house
with his suspenders steakin' out 10
hind him, an a pot lid come after an
hit one O. them fancy cochins Of hers
an laid It out stiff," chuckled our
hired man.
ITS an Ill wind that don't blow no
one no good" commented my Uncle
Alexander. THAT ought to mean
chicken dinner"
Then she stood in the doorway an
gave him the wust tongue lashin' that
you ever heard tell Of said our hired
man. III there was anythin' ornery
that she didn't call him, my mem'ry
amt what 1t ulster be-"
My Aunt Hetty made deprecatory
noise with her tongue and teeth.
'6ech doin's!" she exclaimed.
"oh, I dunno!" said my Uncle Alex
ander.
How'd you like mo to throw pot
lids at your" asked my Aunt Hsttyt /
II eposs you'd like that" "a
I'VE certainly amt had chicken tor
quite q SPELL" said my Uncle Alexan'
der. mot since Brother Piper was
here. She didn't hit him with any
thin, did she. Prestoni"
4 don't cal'lats she DID," replied our
hired man. mot with anythin' that
she threw ut him."
Il don't sec nothin' to grin about.
said my Aunt Hetty. severely. I think
she ought to be ashamed Of herself.
don't hold with sech carryin's on
standin' an hollerin' at him SOS folks
could hear her!"
You could have heard her . mile"
said our hired man.
"All can say IL I wonder ct her,"
said my Aunt Hetty. She's q real
smart woman, an turrible neat in her
housekeepin', but that don't excuse
hor actin that way"
ri guess Eben didn't get no more
than what was nessry," said my
Uncle Alexandee. Il don't know a. !
blame her, myself. She's got to DO
somethin' with him, an all she's got
to do It with ID her two hands an her
tongue. EDS too plague-taked mean
an shif'less for any uSe."
There's other ways" said my Aunt
Hetty.
There's one other way" corrected
my Uncle Alexander. "You take
woman like her, though, an she amt
got but the one. When q woman is
crosseyed an yaller, an Slab-sided.
an bony, she's got to do the best sne
can.
1--WE took heap o notice Of te.
males that's got the name Of bein'
limber-tongued an Free with the
broom handle, an there amt nary one
that I can call to mind that would
take fust prize at q beauty snow.
They're mostly homelier than sin In .
sermon.
"The human man Is so constitooted
that he has got to be driven or coaxed,
one O. the two. The human woman Is
40 consittooted that she's got to coax
or drive, one O. the two. That bein'
the case, If she can't coax, by reason
of havin' face fifteen to stop clock
an a flgger to match, she's got to get
. A., - lon orJopao
IT don't see why she can't talk de-
cent, even If she amt no beauty" SAID
Aunt Hetty.
"The trouble is that she can't set
on her husbands knee and pull his
whiskers." said my Uncle Alexander.
"She can't coozzle. If a woman's plump
an has got rosy cheeks an bright
ewes. she can get anything she wants
by Just coozlin' up to him an talkin'
baby talk"
,Td like to know how you found
that out" said my Aunt Hetty, tartly.
Il should think you'd be ashamed e
talk that way before a young boy
:" amt never ashamed to tell the
truth" said my Uncle Alexander
"You never see a good-lookin' ycuns
woman resortin' to hardware ana
kitchen supplies to carry her point.
She don't have to. An you don't
never see a lady like Huldah Reddick
caressin' her husbands bald spot an
cooIn' to him. If she did he'd have
her nut in an insane asylum, an Sne
knows 1t.
ats easier to coax, an its sight
nleasanter, but It amt everybody tnat
can do It. even If they wanted 70.
that's the reason that feel sorry Tor
Eb's wife an make allowances Tor
her That's the reason that when
ever hear a right good lookin' WON.
an sayin' that she can't understand
why anybody should take a natiron
To her man, or call him out OF his
nToner name at the top of her voice.
fseI as IL she needed eniightenin'.
ITS easy for folks to set back an
And fault with their neighbors, but II
vou wasn't the good-loohn wom-
49, - an NOsa had \