The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-10-03
WRECKED BY A DOG
COUPLES HAPPINESS A THING
OF THE PAST.
Junior Clerks Wedding Present
Turned Out a Thing Of Dire Dis
aster-Now Dear Mother.in.
law 10 with Him.


because I'm-m-m Married.d-d.dd
Now-w.w," the office boy was near
singing. and the noise caused the
junior clerk to turn uneasily on his
high stool.
Regular Italian, always harpin on
something" he muttered; wonder
you can't let up on something once in
while The ONCE boy changed the
tune and began to whistle, but the
junior clerks temper became no bet.
ter.
WELL" the office boy said, "loosen
up an get It out Of your system.
There's somethiu' comm. Might as
well tell it'll worry you II you
don't"
"Kiddin' me about it?"
Nav, gwan."
We've busted up housekeepin'-fo
the present." the junior clerk said.
AN right after we'd started, too. You
know Emaline an l got one o. these
foolish fiats-one of that kind that you
gotta 60 into sideways an then slide
out again to turn around, one Of that
kind where you can sneeze in the
kitchen an ruffle tn curtains In the
parlor at tn same time. Well, as
was sayin', we moved in an then Ema.
line started lookin' over her weddin'
presents. Honest, never saw SO much
cut glass an all that kind Of junk
musta been carload. Well, Emaline
gets 1t all out an piles 1t on the dinin'
room table an Just about that time
remembered I hadn't bought her any
present.
BE back In minute I says as
Jams on my hat an starts out. Got
down tn street little way an some
body stops me.
'Wanta buy dog? he asks, point
In to the worst lookin' bulldog ever
saw
aust what Emaline wants,
thought 'Tll get IT.; 'Gentler asks.
"'Gentle as a flock of lambs tn
guy said. lessen you grab m by tn
shoulders an point i'm where you
want him to bite. He'll set 1t all
right
81 forked over $500 an started home
with the insect.
"Emaline was still a-fussin' with tn
| cut glass an the hand-painted china
when I blew in with Xenophon.
who's Xenophon?" the once boy
inquired.
THE dog-think 1t was box car?
Yessir. Emaline was just dippy about
tn thing. Looked at him for minute
an then asks II he'll bite.
"'Will he bite? l asks. all you gotta
do is grab him like this an
"'Y-a-a-a.h-h-h,' Emaline yells. an
starts for the parlor an the dog right
after her. He thought I'd sliced him
an he certainly was goin' the limit.
tried to hold on to the chain, but that
brute sure was strong. Jerked me on
my feet an dragged me along just az
II wasn't anything at all. Emaline
lodged round the table an the dog
went right after her, chewin' air al
every jump. Got me tangled up in the
table an the next thing knew wal
trying to swim out Of two wagon loads
of broken glass an china. Emaline
rushed into the bathroom an shut the
door. But that didn't stop Zenophon
He butted the door like goat an
pulled me through after him. =
"'Hold him. shouts; think I'm Z
derrick! Why don't you get out the
way?' Bout that time Emaline sees {
shotgun an grabs 1t. Then she trip
an falls. Gun went on an blew ,
hole through the floor of the fiat above
Things were gettin' serious.
Bout that time one Of Emaline'i
shoes came OF an Xenophon grabbet
It. He swallowed 1t whole an that
Just wat saved us. Thing got stucl
In his throat an choked him to death
"'Bigamist!' Emaline yells when IT.
all over. Tired Of me already! Wants
kill me an marry again"
AN l suppose she's gone home Il
motherT the Office boy interrupted.
"Worse'n that, wOrse'n that" tn
junior clerk murmured sadly. She
goin' to bring her mother to live wit
us."-Kansas City Star.