The sun., 1908-06-28
CRIME OF THE CLOCKS.
Man VINO Missed q Train Frees His Mind
About q COmm0n Nuisance.


u am firmly convinced. said the man
who sat swabbing his face in the railroad
station waiting room, hot and indignant
because he had missed his train, that the
man maintaining in public place clock
that does not keep time ought to be found
guilty OF felonious misdemeanor, II not Of
something worse, and punished, II that were
possible, with penalty in some measure
commensurate with his crime.
81 am not sure that would hang him for
the first offence-at least would not make
such a punishment mandatory; would
leave something to the discretion OF the
Judge and jury-but / would make the
penalty cumulative. For instance, would
have the law so read that after q man
had been found four times guilty of this
crime he must be hanged or electrocuted
four times, with no escape. and / don't
know but what l would both hang and
electrocute him.
For l can conceive Of no higher crime
than that Of man who sets up clock in a
public place and then fails to keep it going
correctly.
"Understand me clearly | do not refer
now to clocks in church steeples, on which
I never rely; they may be right and they
may be wrong. Nominally they are sup
posed to be looked after by the sexton, but
really they represent the congregation. q
divided responsibility And on anything for
which the responsibility is divided you can
never rely. The church clock goes its own
sweet way through the week with nobody
to look after it, and 30 on it never rely.
Nor do permit myself to be misled by
tower clocks, which, like the church clocks.
may be right and may be wrong. You
might think that the tower clocks would
be looked after scrupuiously by those who
! owned them. but up 80 high. 50 near the sky,
and though looked at daily by many they
| seem sometimes to be quite overlooked and
| forgotten by those whose business it should
| be to keep constant watch over them; and
| l have learned by experience not to rely on
| tower clocks
And / have long since ceased to rely on
clocks simply because they had the word
Regulator printed on their face. l have
| known such clocks that were model time
keepers, but putting that name on their
face didn't make them 30. Have we not all
ing Grand Palace Hotel'9 But that sign
didn't make the shack palace any more
than printing the word Regulator on the
face OF two dollar clook makes that a per-
feet timekeeper So have long since ceased
| to be misled by the word Regulator
. "For that matter may we not find in
| jewellers windows, where OF all places you
| would expect to find CLOCKS showing the
| correct time, clocks that are minutes of
| | never rely on a clock simply because
| see IL in jewellers window.
| Nor do l rely on hesbarber shop clock,
nor on any OF the many clocks that find
| in many semi-publio places, and least OF
, all do rely on clocks found in homes; for
| clocks are as various and as irresponsible
! as men,
aAnd now am coming to the real point of
what want to say There is one sort of
| clock set up in public places upon which we
| should be able to rely with absolute security.
| and that is the clock that Is set up by busi-
ness man in front of his place OF business;
Now there is a clock that really ought
| always to be kept in perfect order and keep
| ing perfect time. For does not this man
| place il there to attract attention to himself
and his goods for his own profitp Does he not
| thereby expect to derive benefits from the
public, and should not the public be able to
rely upon receiving reciprocal benefit
from him2 Does he not thereby substan..
| TALLY say that what he has to oher is good
! and worthy of attention. and is 1t not rea-
sonable to suppose that he invites our conf
denoe in his clock as well as his goods2
And would you not suppose that the
most commonplace considerations Of selfish
ness would prompt him to keep that clock
! always In perfect order, to confirm and in
crease for his own profit the confidence
that he invites1 You'd think 80. wouldn't
your But how many clocks are so?'
II infer from what you say. said the tran
| uuil man waiting for his train 70 whom
! these remarks had been made, that you
have trusted some public clock where
and so missed your train
aYour inference Is quite correct said the
| BOT and indignant man, "and what said to
| you as to the penalties that think ought TO
attach to this crime Of failure TO keep public
clocks In order is only a brief, limited. short,
condensed, mild. abbreviated, attenuatod
and expurgated statement Of what think
the penalty really ought to be. What
would do II could to the man guilty Of
! this crime l wouldn't care to say. p