The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1908-03-26

/ -~"--~~~ ~~~ta - w WNAN HbNtA rttG ~ oAAAI
to Us to-night.-Stray Stories
Miss Screech-Yes. mamma has KEEP
the wolf from the door for years b.
her singing Prof Digs Hem
no wonder New York Globe.
She-I notice that II Is the single
men who are the most anxious to 3,
TO war. He (much marriedl Yes
They don't know what war Is.
Jane noated downward a voice
If that's Mrs. soandso. I'm not In
1T Is Mrs. Soandso.- ioated upward 4
voice. -aDS she's glad to hear IT,
Boston Traveller.
Towne-Yes Muttley Il married
Didn't you know thatf Browne-No
why be told me he wouldn't marry the
best woman on earth Towne-well
he didn't-Philadelphla Press.
First Man-we have eleven kitten.
At our house. and I've named them all
Peter Pan. Second Man-How's that.
First Man-rhey are never going to
I've to grow up.-Brooklyn life.
Teacher latter explaining the char
acter Of the Pharisee)--And now. what
do We mean By IMPORTER Pupil
Please. miss. a man wot says he Is
wot be Isn't. but he ain't-Puneh.
Yes said Mrs Mugley. 4 always
try 10 retire before midnight. don't
Ike TO miss my beauty sleep -Real-
~" said Miss Knox. you should try
harder. You certainly don't get enough
OF it--Stray Stories
Lady (ensaging cook)-why dld ron
leave your last placer Bridget MaI0-
ney-whoi. mum. the mistress said she
cudn't do widout me. 30 OF came to the
conclusion that OF was worth more
than she was givin' me. and OF lift at
wanSt Pick Me-up.
Griggs-The Idea Of your letting
your wife 20 round saying she made a
man Of your You don't hear my wife
saying that Briggs-No. but beard
her telling my wife that she did her
best.-AIly sloper's Half-HolIday.
Redd--I see Brownies GOT an auto
mobile Greene-Yes; his rich uncle
gave II to him. why. be told me be
put all the money he had into IT. $50
be did He bought a dollars worth OF
gasoline for lt"-Yonkers Statesman.
Doctor Grifin-I must say the world
Is very ungrateful toward our profes-
sion How seldom one sees a public
memorial erected 10 a doctor. Mira
GolIghtly-How seldom. on. doctor.
think OF our cemeteries STRAY
Stories
Indignant Cltlzen-Say. Your boy
threw a stone at me just now and bare
~ missed ne. Nr. Grogan-Yez say
be missed ye7 Indignant Citizen
That's what understood myself to
remark. Mr.. Grogan-It was not my
D'y.-The New Century.
Doctor Ito patientl Your heart Is
rather Irregular. Have you anything
that Is worrying your Patient-Oh,
not particularly. Only that just now
Fhen you put your hand in Jour pocket
/ thought you were going to give me
Tour biiL-London Telegraph.
Your husband stays out quite late
very night said the tactless woman
Yes" answered the patient wife. but
don't know that 1 blame him. You
zee, in our apartment house people are
,ermltted to play the plano until half
Iast eleven" Washington Star.
whats your name. my poor manT"
sked the benevolent housewife. as she
out a saucer OF stewed prunez
sandy Pixies. r. +. w. replied the
altered wayfarer. doffing bis brimless
at. -Graclous. and does she r. Y. v.
tand for first family Of vl1giniaT"
No. mum; II stands for fast freight
eteran-' "-Chicago News
II don't mind telling you," said the
retty girl conndentiaIIy. that ! want
D take a thorough course In cooking
, order to at myself to be a good wife,
You are doing the right thing. my
ear" said the matron In charge Of
he cooking school. May ! AJAX how
ION you expect to be marriedY' How
,ouId I known rejolned the pretty
ri. daintily rolling mp her sleeves
haven't found the man yet-"-chi-
Ego Tribune.
~In writing up the burglary" said
,e excited caller, you can say that
,e thieves In their hurry overlooked
80 worth Of jewelry and solid silver
ate in one OF the cupboards." might
.at not bring the burglars to your
yuse a second timer suggested the
lItor. II don't care II It Does ex-
aimed the other. Il don't want the I
iblIc TO get the impression that a
ing Of robbers can 20 through my
,use and only end So worth Of stun
Drth stealing. Philadelphia In 4
Iirer. e