The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1908-05-11
COArS FOR THE COATLESS.
4 SOphOmOre In the Horalds' College Tells
q Trials In His Profession.

= NHtaA ~ ~ HEeiN~AtSaa
'Ws're getting a lot Of calls these days.
said the sophomore In the Heralds' College,
from trades persons who want 10 get charges
and coats Of arms and things like that
for use In advertising. Fancy tbatl 1t
is most absurd Of them. but they cannot
see why they shouldn't have them in trade
as other persons have In their private life.
why, only the other day Il person who
ran a saloon came In here ~ ask us II we
couldn't fix up something, 'genteel and
appropriate to the business believe
he said. Well, for the fun Of Il, wilkins
and wilkins IL a very sharp, clever fel-
low-we hunted about to get something
to put up III a joke on this Johnny. We
made up three Of them and showed EN-
to the fellow. The first was a shield taWny
a chief argent, indented. We told him,
you zee, the tawny and white would look
like a glass Of beer. He said he did more
in the growler line,
1T took Va some time 10 find out what
a GROWER was, but when We did that clever
chap Wilkins hit on ii at once, This saloon
person liked the tawny and white idea,
30 wilkins said. Why not a shield argent
and for the growler trade a pale tawnyf
nearly died laughing. When we sketched
II out the saloon person didn't think II
was fancy enough, 30 devised him a shield
argent with two bars tawny.
What do you think that ungracious fell
low said? L haven't two bars, only one
said he. At that we got angry and old
him we had nothing in his line. And out
he vent.
"A little while later one OF these hair
dresser chaps came in with an eye to seeing
what he could get for a coat Of arms or
the like Of that in a business way. You
may be sure we we're all heartily disgusted.
These fellows have no idea Of the sacred
ness Of these things. They don't realize
what II mean to a man Of family and stand
ing TO be confronted suddenly with his
arms on a package Of sausage, with a motto
We conquer death by virtue or some
thing Of the sort. How horrid it must be
for one OF gentle nurture and family tomeet
Of a sudden with a patent carving knife
advertised by his family crest and motto,
Per Rspera ad astra.'
These chaps want to look through the
books and pick out something they like
the looks OF. The other day a plumber
thought he'd like the arms OF a Bishops
widow because there we're 80 many fancy
things on il, as he put II in his vulgar way.
Then, when he couldn't get that, he was
in favor Of arms with a baton sinister,
because he thought II looked 20 much like
a piece Of pipe used in the trade. Fancy
that
But | must tell you about the hairdresser.
He wanted 10 pick out his wi crest, but
Of course he had none. After a time he
was 80 insistent that Wilkins and I-clever
chap that Wilkins, too-got very angry
with the fellow. He was hopping about
and fussing around until it was a perfect
nuisance. So Wilkins, who is a bit OF a
s%atirist, you know, when you stir him up,
said to the fellow, Why, I've the very thing
you want. and he made him a hasty sketch.
He drew a charge sable with a chief
or wavy. Well. the fellow asked the names
Of the colOrs and why they we're there
and all about them. Wilkins said, You
see, the gold at the top is for the color you
bleach hair and the wavy line, Of course,
is for marcel waving, Do you seer
Well. the fellow was tickled to death until
he asked, But what's the black at the bot
tom for2' Wilkins answered up sharp
and quick, oh, that's for the black at the
roots Of the hair. Well, you should have
seen the fellow get angry and hurry out.
Clever fellow. Wilkins. He leads the junior
claaa y