The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-08-23

stranger took him by the arm and LED
him aside.
90 Excuse me, pard,' the stranger
whispered. i didn' know you was in
the profesh.'
"And he handed Judson back his
own watch.''
Governor Hughes of New York, in a
recent discussion of corrupt politics
said:
Corrupt politics fail in the end
failed invariably. He who hopes for
pointed hke-But listen:
ga friend of mine, touring In Scot
land, discovered a young Scot under the
seat of his railway carriage. He as
sured the youth in kindly tones that he
would not betray him, and added:
Are you going all the way to Glas-
gowa'
"Before any reply could be made a
second stowaway crawled from under
the opposite seat, and swearing, volubly,
rushed with his friend from the com
partment.
cit seems, after all their trouble, that
the two young men had taken the wrong
train.
DIR. C. F. Aked, in a sermon on
I" Chiyalry'' at the Fifth Avenue Bap-
fist church, said:
Gin America we find less than in
any other country in the world the man
making slave~of the woman-thinking
that the whole of life eenters about him
self. The American husband is the ideal
husband of the world, and the husbands
of the Old World may well sit at his
feet
Later, at a dinner, DR.. Aked con-
tinued his praise of the American hus-
band
'.The Old World husband,'' he said,
lis too apt to resemble John Henry
Vigors of Liverpool.
Vigors complained one night at sup
per that the tea was weak, the meat
tough, the potatoes soggy, and so forth.
ellis wife at last burst into tears.
60 John Vigors,' she cried, i have
cooked faithfully for you for seventeen
years. My one thought has been to
please you. There's not a man in Liver
pool has better cooked food than you.
And this is all the thanks / -growl
ings and complaints, growlings and
complaints, day after day. Why can t
you praise me once in a while?'
"Vigors looked at her in astonish
ment.
90 You are the most unreasonable
woman / ever saw he said, eoldly.
Many and many time I've sat down
to a meal and never said word about
it from start to finish. Wasn't that
enough of a compliment for you2 Don t
you know perfectly well that if there
had been the least little bit of thing
to find fault with, / ID have found it?''
A reporter congratulated George AIDE
upon his retiring modesty.
"Take care said the humorist, 90 or
/ shall commit the error of Boosting
about my modesty, like Taylor of Chi
cage.
"Taylor got on the subject of mod
esty one night at the Press Club.
Z" Practically all acts of charity,
said he, are performed out of vanity.
Modest charity is very rare, yet it is
the only sort that counts, you know,
with Understanding angel, Ell? II
once, motoring in the East, I |
came to small town that had suffered
from a food. In the empty postoffice |
there was a contribution box for the
flood sufferers. Not a soul was about. |
Nobody saw me or knew me. I pushed
a $40 bin into the box, and slipped J
away, unseen. And that act, / claim,
that modest act of charity, was worth
more than these acts, involving many
which are made on public
lists, to the loud fanfare of
trumpets.'
"Taylor paused and relighted his
cigar. His companion said:
Z" Quite right. Yours was genuine
modest charity, Taylor. No wonder YOU
brag about it. -
Mrs. Mary G. Baker Eddy, who. of
course, has no faith in medicine. told
Western Christian Scientist, at one of
her latest audiences. an anecdote about
a friend of hers
This friend, thin and nervous WON
an, could not sleep. She visited her
and the man said:
''Do You eat anything just before
going to bed?''
fOh, no. doctor" the patient replied. |
"Well,' said the physician, fEiust
keep a pitcher of milk and some biscuit |
beside you, and every night, the last !
thing Won 40 make 4 LIGHT meal. -