davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-10-23
HE BOMBARDS
THE POPULACE

When our balloon left st. Louis, and
got up In the air so far that the earth
looked like piece of rag carpet, with
popcorn scattered over II, which were
villages, and / realized that If anything
busted, we would be dropping for
hours before we struck church steep
lie, and would be so dead when we hit
the ground, and stiff and cold, that
we would be driven down in the mud
so far no one would ever find us, and
looked at the two fool men In the
basket with me, who didn't seem to
care what became OF them, as though
they were unhappily married or had
money in a shaky bank, ! began to
choke up, and the tears came to my
eyes, and took long breath Of thin
air, and tainted dead away.
When tainted we we're being driven
south, and when came to. with a
smell of ammonia on my hair, we were
going east, and the balloon had gone
down within a mile of the earth, and
the men gave me some hot tea out OF
patent bottle, and pretty soon ! be-
gan to enjoy myself and wonder II l
could hit mess Of negroes picking
cotton in a field, with sand bag.
When you are up In the air so far
that a policeman cannot reach you,
you feel loose enough to insult men
that would knock your block of If you
should give them any lip when you
were on the ground.
We came down a half mile more,
and / asked the boss man If | might
throw a sand bag at the negroes, and
he said might throw bundle of ad-
vertisements for liver pills at them, so
yelled: Hello, you black rabbits"
and when the negroes looked up and
saw the balloon, they turned pale, and
dropped on their knees, and | guess
they began to pray, and didn't mean
to interfere with their devotions, so
threw a bottle of ginger ale at mule
hitched to a wagon near them, and
when the bottle struck The mule on
the head and exploded and the ginger
ale began to squirt all over the colored
population, the mule ran one way with
the wagon, and the negroes ran for
the cane brakes. The boss man in the
balloon complimented me on being a
good shot, and said had many char
acteristics of a true balloonist, and
probably before we got to the end Of
the trip would get SO I could hit a
church steeple with a bag of ballast,
and break up a Sunday school in the
basement. He said that being up in
the rarefied afr made a man feel as
though he would like to commit muir
der, and found out that was SO, for
the next town we passed over when
all the people were out in the main
street, and the balloon man told me
to throw over a bag of sand, so we
could go up higher, instead of trying
to throw the bag into a field, where
there was nobody to be hurt or fright
ened, do you know, SHE'D that bag
at fountain in the public square and
laughed like crazy person
when the water splashed all over
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-10-23

Il, but along towards evening we
passed over town In Tennessee or
Kentucky, where there was a race
track, and races going on, and just as
we got over It said to the boss bal
loon man; Just watch me break up
that show" and pitched overheard a
whole mess of advertisements Of diff
ferent things we carried and two bun
dies hit the grand stand, and explod-
ed, and about a million circulars ad-
vertising pills and breakfast food
struck the track, and Of all the STAN
pedes you ever saw that was the worst,
horses running away, riders fell of.
carriages tipped over and the people
In the grand stand falling over them
selves, and as we sailed along none
of as seemed TO care two whoops
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-10-23

the crowd, and the fountain
was smashed to pieces, and
the pirates In the balloon compliment
ed me, and yet, when those men were
at home. on the ground, they are
Christian gentlemen. they told me. so
made up my mind that il ballooning
became ! fashionable pastime. those
who participated in it would become
murderers, and the people on the
ground would shoot at balIoonist on
sight.
We went up SO high that we were
out Of sight of people on the ground.
SO you couldn't pick out any particu-
lar person to hit with q bundle Of
pickle advertisements, so you had to
shoot into flock. and run chances Of
winging somebody. SO | did not enjoy
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-10-23

OF red whlskers, made clean breast
of IT,
III served him right" said his wife,
judicially, ''but itll be six months for
you II they nab you, Charlie. You'll
ave to make up your mind to a quiet
spell indoors with me and baby till
the ship sails"
She picked up a paper again, and
regarded him furtively. Then she bent
over II, and slowly scanned the pages,
until a sudden horrified gasp drove the
roses from Mr.. Primers cheek and
prepared him for the worst.
"Wot is it?" he stammered.
Mrs. Pinner folded the paper back
and, motioning him to silence, read as
follows:
"A violent assault was committed
last night on policeman down at
Mapping, who was knocked down by
seafaring man until he got concussion
OF the brain. The injured constable
states that he can identify the man
that attacked him, and has given full
description OF him at the police sta
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-10-23

more for the results than hired girl
who starts fire with kerosene.
1t came on dark after while, and
all we had to do was to look at the
stars and the moon, and 1t seemed to
me that the stars were as big as lo-
comotiye headlights. and that you
could see into them. and on several
of the largest stars was sure | could
see people moving, and the moon
seemed SO near that you could catch
the smile of the man in the moon, and
see him wink at you.
The two men had to remain awake
alI night. but after awhile ! said !
guessed ! would havo my berth made
up, and the boss man handed me .
shredded wheat biscuit for pillow
and laid me down BY the sand bags
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-10-23

safely, and. throwing himself into q
chair, breathed heavily, while his wife,
whose curiosity at seeing him home
at that early hour would not be denied,
piled him with questions.
Mr.. Pinner, still intent on footsteps,
grumhled something beneath his
breath, and the baby being awakened
out Of It's first sleep and brought down
stairs, they contemplated each other
for some time with offensive curiosity.
Until next morning Mr.. Primers odd
reasons for his presence sufilced. but
when he sat stilI after breakfast and
showed clearly his intention TO re-
main, his wife insisted upon others
less insulting to her intelligence. Mr..
Plnner. prefacing his remarks with
an allualon to : lifelong adherence
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-10-23

"oeadl" Repeated Her Husband.
tion, where search is now being made
for him. The public houses are being
watched"
You'll be quite safe indoors" said
his wife, whose plan was now per-
fected. THE only thing is. people II
wonder what you're staying indoors
all day for"
Mr. Pinner took his pipe out Of his
mouth and stared at her blankly
"Whitewash the kitchen ceiling, :"
she said, suddenly
low long would that take?" de-
manded her lord, who was not fond Of
whitewashing.
Then you could put bit of paper
in this room." continued Mrs. Pinner,
and put them shelves in the corner
what you said you'd do That would
take some time"
1T would" agreed Mr.. Pinner, eying
her disagreeably.
And | was thinking" said his wife.
III got q sugar box from the grocer's
and two pairs O. wheels you could
make the baby q nice little peram-
bulator.s
Seems to a.e--" began the aston
ished MIR. Pinner.
While you're doing those things I'll
try and think Of some more" inter-
rupted his wife.
The baby was crying. the breakfast
things were not washed and there
were several other hindrances to
journalistic work.
Mr.. Pinner said that all wall papers
we're alike TO him. and INDUCED IN
dreary speculations as to where the
money was to come from Mrs. Pin.
ner. who knew that they we're saving
fast owing to his enforced seclusion,
smiled at his misgivings.
He papered the room that day after
a few choice observations on the price
of wall paper. and expressed his opin.
ion that in a properly governed coun
try the birth OF red-whiskered police
men would be rendered an impos
sIbility. To the compliments of his
workmanship bestowed by the gratified
Mrs. Pinner he turned deaf ear.
There was nothing in the paper next
morning Mrs. Primers invention be
ing somewhat fatigued, but she
promptly quelled her husbands JOY BY
suggesting that the police authorities
were lying low In the hope of lulllng
him into a senst of false security
~Wait till I've seen the paper" sht
protested.
"Wot's the good OF seeing the pa
per?p replied Mr.. Pinner. I'VE know
as e's In bed. and 1t seems to me
while 'e's in bed Is my time to be out
/ shall keep a lookout. Besides, Fvs
just 'ad an idea; I'm going to shave
my mustache on. ought to ia
thought OF 1t before"
He went upstairs. leaving his wifi
wringing her hands below So ia
from the red policeman being In bed
she was only too well aware that h
was on duty In the district, with ever!
faculty strained to the utmost t
avenge the outrage OF which he haV
been the victim. It became necessar.
to save her husband 1t all costs. AM
while he was busy upstairs with
razor, she slipped out and bought
paper.
He had Just come down by the tim
she returned, and turned to confron
her with q conscious grin; but at tn
sight of her face the smile vanishe
from his own. and he stood waitin
nervousIy for III news.
| "Oh. dear" moaned his wife.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-10-23

whether anybody was killed or not.
It was the craziness of being up in the
air, and not caring for responsibility,
like a drunken chauffeur running
a crazy automobile through a crowd Of
children, and acting mad because they
were in the way Of progress.
We laughed and chuckled at the
sensation we had caused, but cared no
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05
REPUBLICAN TICKET.

Arthur w. Kopp. of Platteille,
candidate for the Republican nomina-
tion as representative to congress from
this district, was in this city last
Thursday. During his brief stop
here Mr.. Kopp met quite a number
of the business men and farmers from
the surrounding country and made a
very favorable impression upon all
whom he CHANGED to meet. Mr..
Kopp is district attorney of Grant
county. the largest county in the
third congressional district, and he
invites all Republicans to investigate
his record and if found all right
would be pleased to receive their sup
port. Mr.. Kopp drove from here to
Viroqua. -Richland Observer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

and remarked, ITO reward you, my
son. will buy you some marbles"
You don't need to, dad" said young
Vorys. 1--WE got a pocketful the fell
lers gimme for shown EN- the fingers
lost. I've got 'em in a bottle"
Whatever the game in hand Mr..
Vorys makes it his business to know
how to play it. His success while in
charge of the Taft boom in the Buck
eye State in the precOnvention period
Resulted in his being asked by Judge
Taft 70 continue his work in the same
field during the presidential canvass.
Mr.. Vorys is ffty-two years old and
has been practicing law since 1880.
Lancaster was his birthplace, and he
studied at the Ohio State university
He was city solicitor Of Lancaster and
has served several terms as insurance
commissioner of the state. He married
a daughter Of John D. Martin Of Lam
caster, a warm friend Of Senator John
Sherman.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05
F1E1p MARsHA1 LORD RoBERrs.

sions, about half century ago when
only a lieutenant Though he is every
inch a soldier. he is not a large man.
In fact, he is slim and small
= One day he was presented to a prom
inent man of great physical proper
lions, who on being introduced to Lord
Roberts shaded his eyes in a would be
funny attempt to simulate difficulty in
seeing the small person of the earl and
remarked:
"Ah. Lord Roberts. delighted. have
frequently heard of you, but 1 have
never seen you before"
To which his lordship calmly replied
"And have frequently seen you, but
I have never heard of you before"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05
Press Opinions on Tafts Speech

The speech justifies the faith of
the Republican masses, who believe,
as we have said, that the candidate is
more progressive than his platform. 1t
stamps him as a sincere progressive
who heartily approves and who
would carry forward the Roosevelt
policies. and who at the same time
would illustrate in his acts his
thought that the chief function of the
nsxt administration els distinct
from and progressive development of
that which has been performed by
President Roosevelt. Chicago Re
cord Herald rep.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

Samuel Gompers, the Union labor
leader seems to have bitten off a
bigger chunk than he could convent
emily masticate in hoping TO turn the
labor vote Bryan, ano now says he
never agreed to do any such thing.
The laboring man is pretty intelli-
gent. and usually likes to deliver his
own vote for whom he pleases, and
the way Mr.. Gompers is hearing
things convinces him that such is the
case. Mr.. Gompers will probably
deliver one democratic vote as usual
his own.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

A newly invented device for prevent
ing head-on and rear-end collisions is
to be tested by the interstate commerce
commission, and If it will do what is
claimed for it the railroads win be
ordered to install it. Heretofore the
roads have figured that it is cheaper
to pay damages now and then than to
install new equipment to meet all
emergencies-in other words, better to
cure bruises than to prevent them.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

.
The men of the ancient restaurant
family, the Delmonicos, are all dead.
Only Observation-Disclosures survives,
and she bears another name. But the
name and fame of the waiter who es-
tablished a dining palace for New
York swells long years ago will be per-
petuated through a stock company,
which will open a new Delmonico's in
the modern uptown Of New York and
eclipse all others.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05
Printing Of Primary Ballots.

Notice is hereby given that the
contract for printing the ballots for
the primary election in Grant county
will be let by bid to the lowest res
ponsible bidder Particulars con
corning same, as prov led in Section
Al of the Laws of Wisconsin for 1907
may be learned upon application at
the county clerk Office
G. E. TUFFLEY
County Clerk of Grant County.
Dated Lancaster. Wis July, %, 1908
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05
GOVERNMENT LAND OPENING
TRIP COUNTY. S. D.


The Government opening Of TripP
Co. lands will probably occur about
October 1st, when a million acres Will
be thrown open to settlement, includ
ing some of the finest agricultural
lands in the West. The Rosebud ex-
tension of the Chicago & North West
ern Ry. is the only railroad line to-
these lands See that your tickets
read to Dallas, the terminus of the
North Western, a half mile from the
reservation border. United States
Land office will probably be located
here. Send for free description pamph
let's giving all details about the land
and how to secure a quarter section
of it; free on application to any G. &
N. w. ticket agent. 55-w-3.
Ha,olI ode rso+ ~.,,c--I4~
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05
VETERAN OF MANY WARS.
Field Marshal Lord Roberts and His
Quebec Visit.


The Canadians gave a great welcome
to Field Marshal Lord Roberts on his
visit to Quebec to participate in the
Champlain tercentenary. The Occa-
sion brought together many who fought
under him in South Africa in the war
with the Beers. The. griZZled veteran
of many wars wears his honors grace
fully in these years Of his green old
age. He will be seventy-six in Sep
TENDER. The decorations he has re-
ceived make a brave showing. and the
list of his titles is a long one. But
"Bobs'' is the name by which he likes
best to be known. and it expresses the
affection which is felt for him by the
British public. He won his Victoria
cross. which he always puts first when
adjoining himself for full dress occa-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05
ARTHUR |. VoRYS.
Judge Taft's Friend. Who Is Managing
Ohio Campaign.

Ohlo campaign.
During the Roosevelt administration
the tennis cabinet has been an i'm
portant factor in affairs of state.
Should Judge William III. Taft occupy
the White House for the next four
years golf will doubtless become the
administration sport. as the Republic
an presidential nominee is devoted to
the game. and it suits his portly build
better than tennis, which necessitates
ones being all over the court at the
same time, a difficult achievement for
a fat man. One of the prominent Re-
publicans who agree with Judge Taft
as to the general superiority of golf as
a sport is Arthur l. Vorys. manager of
the campaign in Ohio He can play a
good game of golf despite the fact that
his right hand is minus several fingers.
Mr.. Vorys' father, Isaiah Vorys. was
a carpenter by trade and owned
a large woodworking establishment
Young Arthur worked at the bench.
and one day he had an experience with
the buZZSaw at the conclusion of which
it was necessary to bandage up a very
mutilated hand. A few days later his
father came upon him playing marbles
with his left hand. his right being still
I'm the bandage.
The elder Vorys liked the boys nerve
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

1t will be seen that the candidate
makes good by his personal declara-
tiOns some of the omissions in the
platform which threatened to afford
capital to the enemy. His thesis is
that on all these subjects the Republi-
can party stands for continuing the
Roosevelt policies of progress and
regulation; while the Democratic
party advocates change for the sake
of chang to the point of irresponsible
destruction. The speech appeals to
the sound and sober judgment of the
people. while not retreating an inch
from the standard of abolishing privi-
lege and maintaining equal rights in
the creations of the law -Pittsburg
Dispatch rep.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

The man Castro is not only a menace
to the peace of the world, but makes
stability and progress impossible in
Venezuela. Unless the fates soon mix
in the powers should line up against
him as they did against Napoleon IN
1914 and compel his abdication
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

The address in which the Republi
can candidate formally accepted the
leadership Of his party is more like a
presidents me ssage than candidate S
speech. 1t conveys strongly marked
impression of continuity with the
present administration. Yet the next
president does not mean that he pur
poses merging his own individuality
in that of mis- masterfuI predecessor.
The next administration is to be no
echo of the present. 1t will be full
fillmeni, not an imitation. <
The new voice is calmer than the old
less tumultuous, less explosive and
less fervid. 1t is no less deep and sin
cere. no less true and convincing. It
carries the effect of finer poise a
surer balance, if it is not quite so
stirring to the emotions or imperative
in its demands for instant attention. =
Cleveland Leader rep
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

No one is immune from Kidney
trouble, so just remember that Foley S.
Kidney Remedy will stop the r.
reguIarities and cure any case Of
kidney or bladder trouble that is not
beyond the reach of medicine.
j. T. Bennett.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

ga man with 100000 wants to go
into active business" says an adver-
tisement Perhaps the man is a phi
lanthropist and thinks he can add to
the circulation quicker in active bust
ness than by giving money away.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

When the car read in the dispatch
es that forty-seven Mexican reyolu-
tionists were shot in a bunch for trea-
son and 100 of their sympthizers sent
to the salt mine prisons for ten to fif-
teen years he probably felt that the
uutocracy's reputation for doing things
was i'm danger of eclipse.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

Campaign orators who love to in
dulge in filings at the effete east ought
to be especially delighted with the
way the middle west has taken first
place as the political battle-ground.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

1t is stated ON what seems to De I'M
impeachable authority that James
Whitcomb Riley has an annual in
come of $4,000 to $4,000 from his
verse writing. Now we can believe
Mr. Riley when he says he would
rather be a poet than a politician"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

The war department wants $1,000
900 for airship experimnts. It ought
to occur to somebody that it would be
cheaper to let the other fellow worry
over the cost Of experiments and then
buy his finished machine
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

-Four restful years should now elapse
before anybody is again called upor to
face the ordeal of being named as the
tail of ''the ticket that's sure to win. s.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

With Cipriano Castro still unchas-
tised, why should any strenuous
American want to go into the African
jungle to chase elephants9
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

Besides, after the tigers and lions
are all dead the ex-president can go
for the north pole and wind up that
whole arctic mystery for good and all.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05
THE NEW COLORADO SPECIAL
ELECTRIC LIGHTED.

ELECTRIC LIGHTED.
Leaves Chicago daily 10 100 a. m,
for Denver, through without change.
Only one night enroute; Pullman
drawing room sleeping cars, free
reclining chair cars and observation
parlor cars All meals IN dining
cars a la carte.
$50 for round trip, Chicago to
Denver, Colorado Springs and Pueblo,
daily until September Both, via Chi
cago, Union Pacific & North Western
line. Correspondingly low rates from
all points. Two trains daily. For
full particulars, apply TO any agent
The North Western line. 55-w-3.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05
DRS. BREWER & SON.

The son of the above firm will be
for consultation at the Hotel Wright
in this city in Wednesday, July 20bh.
Consultations free.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

The celebrated Thomas Hobbies is re-
ported to have said on his deathbed
Q679), 'Now / am about to take my
last voyage-a great leap in the dark"
Hobbies in all probability got his idea
from Rabelais, who when he was dy-
ing lin 1863 exclaimed, 81 am going
to the great pprhapSr'
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05
A"Dry" Tidal Wave
The Prohibition Party, Its
Candidates, Chain and Wat
kins. Its Platform and Its
PROGRESS. - - -

"HE national ticket placed in the
field by the Prohibition party
this year occasions more than
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-05

Herald ads get results.