The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-03-15
The Hotel Clerk
on Spring Fashions
BY IRWIN S. COBB.

What do you think about il, Larry?''
asked the Hotel Clerk of the st. Reck-
Jess. 'Shall 1 succumb to the long
green frock, modelled on the chaste yet
graceful lines of string bean. with
the double row of white buttons scat
tered along the short ribs like the stops
on an organ? Or shall l allow my er-
rant fancy to be wooed into a melodious
roma by the modish one-button cuta-
way as worn with the fashionable
fwescut of the new squashed canteloupe
tint? Shall l have the scalloped effect
on the turn-back cuffs? Or shall !
order some of those tasty side pockets
that are cut out in a curve and put on
the bias like sharks smile? It's all
still an open question to me, and ] viii
probably need the help of a few dis
eliminating friends in making a selec-
ton.
You see, there's such a confusion of
directions coming from those that are
best qualified to speak out and advise
palpitating and excited public. One
leading authority. now, tsays that the
broad lines of wavy braid running down
the outer seams of the trousers, or
pants, if made west of Pittsburgh, will
provide a truly winsome finish to a
other who is of equal standing in the
profession. especially recommends that
they shall be made loose and care free
around the hips but turned up at the
bottoms as far as the dictates of.gOOd
taste and the size of the knee joint will
allow.
Personally. ] have haunting dread
that the long and clinging frock coat
may not become me. 1t would be fine
f1y =la
Vice President Fairbanks, who is really
the only Gibson girl statesman we've
got left; but, while have a good figure
that is only pleasantly plump, still at
that I'm willing TO admit that l may be
getting what you'd call lumpy i'm spots.
That's what makes me hesitate in my
selection of the close-fitting or princesse
effect, with the sobaway lapels that
open back like the shutters on a hen
house. All. me. no wonder so many of
our most prominent young men are
breaking down under the nervous strain
of trying to do the right thing i'm the
face Of such conflicting and cOntradic-
tory advices."
''WOt talk have you with your Win
some pants and your ohe-button night
mares?' asked the House Detective.
Have you been hittin the pipe in the
back room of retail clOthin store, or
=
at merchant tailors' convention"
I've merely been reading up on the
modes, the spring modes for me-" said
the Hotel Clerk. I've been trying to
inform myself how man shall attire
himself in order to avoid making him
self conspicuous i'm the best circles. It
would appear from my readings that
the man who dresses up like a human
being this season is in great danger of
being jeered at, as one lacking in the
mere rudiments. One article that l saw
in the paper says that not only the
coatinSs, the waiStings and the pant
ings, but even the understandings and
Abe pajamarings and the porous plaster
ings, if such be worn, must follow a
[ common color tone such as mauve or
Shrimp pinksOr muskmelon tan, in order
to stamp a fellow as a dresser of dis
elimination and individuality And the
attention that is being paid this year
TO the smaller details of dress-you've
no idea, Larry! A man of even the
simplest taste is going to need at least
six walking canes. and as for scarf pins
and"
s Come out of it," admonished the puz-
zled House Detective. You needn't
never fall for no such foOlishness as ali
that, and if you did. I'd quit speaking
TO you, and so would all your other
friends. We'd talk about you, maybe
but not to you"
well, l suppose you're right" said
4he Hotel Clerk. But il certainly
makes me wistful and enviOus to read
about the garments that are going to be
worn by the pioneers of the world of
fashion next month. | lack the hardi-
hood myself to do ii. l confess it with
shame. Our stock sprang from the
primeVal soil at too recent a period to
qualify me to wear those Pains fire
works clothes. If I Should become the
owner of a pair of the fashionable egg
plant purple half hose, formerly socks.
having design of southern smiIax
twined around the ankles and holly
hooks in the natural cOlOrs running up
the legs, Ia feel that I'd have to walk
on my hands in order to get my moneys
worth. But one who is to the mamma
born, as the poet says, could go pad
ding around in society with his south
eTn terminals thus enmeshed in beauty's
weave and never let on any more than
If he was barefoOted.
IN tell you, Larry, it takes about
three generations of persistent wealth
and the kind OF culture you get at
LenoX and Palm Beach TO reach the
point where you can put on those spec
tacular garments and look as if you
were wearing them. With you or with