Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-08-14
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Ola Gentleman-AEd If you had i've
hundred dollars and multiplied it by
two, what would you get? Boy
'Nautmobile - Harper's Weekly.
Teacher Parse court" Pupil
Court" a verb, active, indicative mood,
present tense. and agrees with all the
girls in the neighborhood Bits.
Father-G Got fall. did you? Welt,
hope you didn't cry like a baby. Son
/ No dad. l didn't cry. L just said one
word the same as you'd have said
Punch
What sort of a looking chaD is Ga"-
! sy?' Wen, If you ever see two men
| in a corner and one looks bored TO
death, the other one is Gussy, London
Opinion
/ Mother (erosslyl Tommy haven't [
/ told you you must not talk when l am
talking? Tommy But, mamma, you
| won let mo stay up after you go to
bed = Sketch.
do you think lie can afford TO keep
an auto?" "Iie ought to, He's been
an amateur photographer for three
years and that didn't break him. '-Dc-
roit Free Press,
/ Stranger Been cyclone or an
earthquake round here recentlyI Oni-
Ger Nav this hyer's college town.
an ne of the students had birthday
party IIarper's Weekly.
Mistress Now remember. Bridget,
the Joneses are coming for dinner
Cook leave II TO me, mum. I'll do
me worst They'll never trouble ye1
again'- Illustrated Bits.
You say you acted like perfect
lady throughout" Sure yer honors
when he tips his hat to me an me not
KNOWN him, ups with rock an
caves I'm hts face Houston Post.
Medium (impressively) It's the
spirit of your late husband, madam
lie wishes &, speak with you Mrs
peckIt can't he poor Henry he
never had no SPIRIT BOSTON Tran
script
Teacher What Is II, Tom? Tom
Jnmy's swearing Teacher What
did he say? rom Well marin, II you
= say over all the cuss words you know
r I'll tell you when you come 10 it,
Kansas City star
The American globe-trotter Talk
about travelling. why, ia America
{ trains GO so fast that ii takes two peo-
pie to talk about 'em-one to say
: Here she comes" and the other to
{ say, There she goes The Sketch.
Mrs oHoolihan This payer says
!. there do be sermons In sthones. Phwhat
a yez think nv tl,ot2 0'Hoolihnn OF
dunno about The errmons. but many
+" a good ar-rgument has coonl out nv a
!, brick. Orm tbinkin' Chicago News
Il ten you,9 said Slnnick, men airs
:, getting so .IeHcitfu9 these days that you
can't trust your best friends " Ana
:, what's WORSE interrupted Burroughs
gioomIly, you can't get your hest
friends to trust you Philadelphia
Press
$50" remarked tho boyhood friend
a you are In the swim" Mother and
q the girls think | am," answered MES
; Cumrox. But nay personal feelings mro
those OF n man who has fallen over
. board and ought to be holleriDg for
help Washington star
Y Teacher II you are kind and polite
. 10 yuuT paymatcs. whit viii he tIle
! result? Scholar They'll think they
/ can lick me Philadelphia Inquirer
lie That fellow over there cheated
me ont Of "a cool million. She How
4 could heT IIe- Wouldn't let me MARRY
his dnilghter.-rhc Pathfinder.
Just this way, SIR said the courte-
Gus clerk In the railroad ticket oili,~a
Let me show yon some summer guides
/ entitled Where 90 Co and When to
Go The man with the modest la.
come shook his head They don't in
| terest me, he sighed What I warIf
TO know Is How to Go Chicago
+ Daily News
Professor said Mrs. Gaswell 20 tise
distinguished musician who had been
engaged al high price 10 entertain her
guests what was that lovely selection
YOU played just towY' THAT, madam, r
he answered CARING at her "was an
Improy lsati0B." "Ah. yes l remember
now | knew Ft was an old favoritR,
but couldn't think 0f the name OF *
10 save me 49, Ttt-R