The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-10-04
Copyright.

TINY was a mule.
 Did you read that "Jinny was only O mule?' That's your mistake, then. If you must have ''only'' put mot" be- fore it and read some such talk as this: "Jinny was not only a mule, but she was a dromedary. an ostrich, a red Indian, heather and .snob rolled in one and stuffed into a black hide;" which Is only another way of saying that Jimmy was the meanest, most ill-tempered, deceitful, fractious, bumptious and obstreperous critter that ever went on four legs, on three legs or on two. If you know mules you know what mean by going on three legs and on two. If you don't know mules you'd better not try to find out for yourself. Sit on the fence and watch the other fellow learn.
 And besides the qualities I have men tionel Jimmy was naughty. You can for give mule for being mean, ill-tempered, fractious bumptious and obstreperous be- cause it is the brthright of mules to be all those things cash down or by install- mepts; but you can't forgive one for treating you with cold scorn.
 Let me tell what she did. Whenever I offered her a lump of sugar or a car- rot. just by way of friendliness on my part she would sniff at 1t and say, "P-r-r-umph." turn away her head and begin eating weeds, or any other rubbish that happened to be around. And it wasn't because she didn't like carrots or sugar-she dotted on them--it was because she didn't like me. If I threw the carrot ba lad ha in atar I looking at her.
 So that was Jimmy. That was the dromedary ostrich red Indian heather lady we had to associate with and exact service from for two months, for eight and a fraction weeks, for sixty-two days, for 62 plus 24 hours, No. don't sub tract one cent for meals or sleep; we had to watch her while we ate and dream about her while we slept. That was the object we had to care for like a lady when we wanted to kill her dead-rhake bear bait of her-for if we'd killed Jimmy, who would have car ried the pack? Black Bess?-Brandt's mare? Brandt would as soon think of carrying it himself. My Muldoon--car- ryi Jinny's pack think notl-not WHll6 1 own her dHy way anQ WAcH I'm too poor to keep her any longer, if l ever am, she won't carry packs, no matter what happens to my bank. I've promised her that.
 don't know where Jinny came from originally. I bought her from a trader in Laramie, Wyoming, and without con- sulting Brandt-wanted to show him I could buy few things for myself be- sides neckties, which Brandt express ly doubted. The trader recommended Jimmy as the most Please read the list of her qualities as above set forth by me; add any number more you hap pen to think of; translate into their exact opposites; mix with gentle slaps, loving pats, and "dear old gals" to- gether with soft convincing smile by trader; season with a melancholy ex- pression as per Jimmy, and you will have the beast as set forth by him. Wouldn't you buy a mule man could say all that about, particularly if he offered her so cheap? Wouldn't you? Don't ever.
 She's the greatest bargain inside the state. he wound up with, 'an' wouldn't take any money for her, on'y l got to. My wifes been sick all winter. Little Johnny broke his arm, an my poor old blind mother needs lots O things. I got to hev the ready an' hev it quick an sence you won't take a saddle horse-sure you won't, and femme keep this dear old gal We'll, sence you won't Che sighed