The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-19
DRIFT OOD nY PKrL .. ARMxTRoNs.

- --------------------------------- This is the day. When you put on your glad rags, And go out with your best girl. |, And get caught in the rain. II lsf. I 4
 Just watch. the Easter parade oi oewitehins slue-eyed blondes today, II When it comes to seeing good in others the average man contracts s I fearful case of near-sishtedness all a' once.
 would even take red-hair if he could get it.
 It Is as hard for the feminine mind to resist bargains as 1t is for camel l to pass through the eye of a needle ur ] one.
 There be walters and walters but I 1t strikes us that Tarinf Revision is the greatest waiter" under the sun. | Speaking of the noiseiess san if some enterprising inventor would de- wise a noiseless college yell If would supply one of the greatest deficiencies. i An exchange says man of its ac- quaintance employees his monther -in- l law for his typewriter What a glo- rious opportunity for dictating to the old lady. Speaking of picnics. the one that has but two people in 1t and stacks and stacks of olives, Is the ideal one from the school girls point of view. When dining out at some one elses expense, remember to always leave tho table as 1t is hardwood and indigesti- ble
 It is stated thar the heart of veg etarian beats fifty-eight times a min ute, and that of meat eater seventy ary landlady presents the bill In either case. the heart capacity often becomes doubled
 A Maryland girl shot herself the other day because her parents object ed to her beau. And to think she hadn't seen our ad in the paper.
 San Diego--special to The Advertiser by wireless telegram-Important news The American Fleet opened another bottle of wine and the officers drank another tcast.Admiral h,d s,gys5, Evs5s so%n gS%u, Smith.
 It Is presumed that MT. Roosevelt and Mir. Hobson consoled one another over Congress's short sightedness in handing 'em lemon on the four bat tleships-idea.
 Why can't woman give an esti- mate of her dressing expenses without using exaggerated fgyrsssr sn,,. Times Recause if she's a thin woman she is fond of exaggeratipg her igure''- that's why.
 Montgomery has a bali-team to be nF nA IA ittGf rnfnR give the rest of 'em good run for the money.
 Another advantage-two women with enough to each othed to whisper se- crets without the use. of telephone. Kansas brewery S,,t,,sn has just jUst,,s.,s sssn s We dunno--ask us.
 A girls idea of nice sweet modest girl is one who doesn't try te firt with her beau
 About the last subject In the world of interest to other people Is yourself Politics makes strange bad fellows. when q woman drives a horse she usually poses like all the world had kodak leveied at her
 Little Gal O LonG Ago.
 Little gal Q Ions ago.
 Whar's she gone-I'd like to know.
 Little playmate who with ITO
 Uster run so glad an free
 Uster chase the butter-files
 Til they vanished in the skies.
 Uster trudge along the lane
 TisfAnin' to the birds refrain.
 On our way to school each day
 Long tn the happy primrcse-w
 Little gal e lons ago
 How her face got all aglow
 One day when upor her slate
 writ words that meant my fate.
 Simply this "I LUV YOU MAY
 Then she blushed and turned away.
 Oh. the heart aches an the tears
 Crowded in a few short years
 She's with the angels now I know
 Little gal O long ago!
 Decatur. Ala. Apr. 18th 1907. Mir. Phil. H. Armstrong.
 Montgomery.
 Dear Sir
 It is not a goulish desire to fn- jure your business. but stern duty prompts me to write you. It Is. no doubt a stunning blow to your profes- sion; a blow I would much rather not deliver. but duty demands 1t.
 While travelling on the Southern Railway recently. the car being some what stuffy and close. and foul with Jacksont county tobacco juice, desired the win4aw open. and by accident. dis covered a small and innocent looking latch in the sill. which I pressed with the astonishing result that the window flew up like a shot from a gun-and remained there.
 When recovered some minutes later every passenger in the car except few who had not yet revived. were busily testing the apparatus. and throughout the remainder of the trip those windows were raised and lower ed not less than 500 times.
 hate to do 1t. but I must
 Yours truly
 R. E. H (Alas-you're riEht-when that win