davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Pay of Army Officers.

A glance over the army list shows
that over two-thirds of the officers are
receiving less pay per day than good
mechanics receive in civil life. The
officer has no home, but must be pre-
pared TO live in the arctics or the trop-
les and change from one to the other
at short notice He must have equip
ment for both, and while in one place
the equipment for the other is stored
and detcrioratiug lie is sent on long
journeys to distant stations and must
suffer Punishment from his family or
take them along. Either is a great
expense.-on one hand for travel and
on the other for maintenance of two
establishments. His changes of sta
ton are so frequent that he must put
his children in costly private schools
or see them grow up in ignorance. Be-
cause he is an officer of the United
States service to use the responsibility
of his position to add to his income
commercially Is regarded as repre-
hensible, and if he makes an invest
ment he must intrust his interests to
an agent.-Army and Navy Life.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
A Bad Break.

ut beats the Dutch" said a young
broker, ''how much trouble Il fellows
wife's most charming girl friend can
make for a fellow-or for Il fellows
wife" Then he explained what ap.
peared to be greatly in need of eX.
PLANTATION. Il went home for dinner
the other night" he continued, with
Il friend who was married recently.
The wife's old chum was there and
met the husband for the first time.
"'Really,' she said on presentation,
L quite feel that | have known you.
You see, that picture of yours in foot.
ball costume that Jennie always kept
on her dresser so long was very fa.
miliar to me-
Say, you ought to have seen the
face of that friend of mine. But he
finally found his voice.
but, my dear Miss Smith, he re.
piled, 1 never was Il football player
and never had on n football costume
Then you should have seen Miss
Smiths face''-New York Globe
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
a Little Gard Trick,

A Russian priest was so devoted to
the amusement of card playing that
he played up to the last moment be.
fore commencing the church services
On one occasion, having a particularly
good hand dealt him, he thrust the
cards into his pocket, intending to re
turn and finish the game after the
service. Unluckily the cards fell out
on the church floor, to the extreme
scandal Of the congregation. The wit
ty priest, however, was fully equal tC
the occasion. At the conclusion of the
service he beckOned up one of the
choristers and asked him the names OF
several of the cards, which the boy
knew correctly. He then suddenly
asked the lad the name of the neXt
saints day, which the child could not
tell
"See!' cried the priest, turning tc
the congregation. you teach youl
children the names of every card in
the pack and leave them ignorant OF
their religion. Let this be the last
time ! am compelled to bring playing
cards into the church to shame YOU
And picking up his hand he made an
honorable retreat.-London Answers.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
EorecastIe Gourmets.

"ScouSe. or lob scouse. a parsons
face sea pie, junk, tack, slush and dun
there's Il meal We can't beat no
where's said the sailor.
Yes he went ON. "ye can tall
about Yer ris de veau, yer vol au vent
yer mouses and other French dishes
but they amt none o them in it will
sea fare dished up by a good sea law
yer.
"Scouse is soup, soup made o salt
beef. Add some good sea vegetables
to it, stitch as spud sprouts and split
peas, and ye get an extra fine soup
what is gener'ly called lob scouse. Poi
au feu is SlOps beside rich lob scouse
"Foller up yer scouse with parsons
face sea pie That's a pie made of bul
locks head. Good? Why, friend
there amt nothin' like it on earth.
Junk is salt beef. Junk amt nc
brain food. 1t don't strengthen the
mind like correspondence course, but
by tar, I'd ruther have 1t than caneton
la presse or Il supreme de sole
'Tack and slush is the sailors bread
and butter. What if We do have tC
break yer tack with tack hammer
and what if yer slush is sometimes
strong enough to queer the compass
Sailors need strong food, for they must
do their work. .'-Cincinnati Enquirer
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
What the Cat Had.

The teacher of the Sunday school
class was telling the little boys about
temptation and showing how it some
times came in the most attractive form.
She used rs an Illustration the paw Of
cat.
Now" said she, you have all seen
the paw of a cat. 1t is rs soft rs vel
vet, isn't itf'
"Yessum," from the class.
And you have seen the paw of a
dogT'
"Yessum."
well, although the cats paw seems
like velvet, there is nevertheless con
cealcd in it something that hurts. What
is it?"
No answer.
The dog bites" said the teacher,
'when he is in anger. But what does
the cat do?"
Scratches said boy.
Correct said the teacher. nodding
her head approvingly. Nov, what has
the cat got that the dog hasn't:'
"Whiskers" said boy on the back
seat.-Home Magazine.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Animals Are Not Proud.

Professor Schuster asserts that ami.
mails lack moral feeling entirely, none
of their acts being immoral or moral in
the broad sense, and that they have nc
trace of n sense of shame or of honor.
Their courage, he declares, is "a mere
impulse of nature" and of moral cour.
age they know nothing. He continues
and animals have no pride in the
sense of mans conception of that quail.
ity. They are not proud of their kind
of their kindred, of their individuality.
They neither have an individuality nor
are individual. Animals are not proud
because they have no consciousness of
the scope of the value of their kind, of
their enterprise or of any other form
of their capability. They are neither
supercilious, proud nor the contrary
that is, grieved, wounded or depressed
in regard to Il possible pride"
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Rihle ElIIinolnrs

Some curious errors have crept into
the Bible at various times, giving
names to the editions containing them.
Here are some instances: The TN
righteous" Bible, from the misprlnt
'the unrighteous' shall inherit the
liingdom the "PlacemakerS' " Bible
"blessed are the placemakers' " Oeace-
Makers; the printers Bible, "the
printers Gor princess have prosecuted
me-" the "Treaclc" Bible, "Is there no
'treacle' (balm) in GileadT the Vim
egar" Bible, the parable of the vine
gar (vineyard; the Bug" Bible,
thou shalt not be afraid of bugs
(bogies) by night the "Breeches'' Bi-
bic, "they sewed fig leaves together
and made themselves 'breeches;" the
idle" Bible "woe to the idle" GdoD,
and finally the wooden Leg" Testa-
ment, so called from the frontispiece
depicting Satan limping with a wooden
leg
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
The Old. Old Story.

Hot, tired and dusty, the excursion
was returning from the seaside day
trip, and Simkins, Il little bald man
with big ears, overcome with his day
of happiness, dropped off to sleep In
the hatrack above another passenger
had deposited a ferocious crab in a
bucket, and when Simkins went to
sleep the crab woke up and, finding
things dull in the bucket, started ex-
ploring. By careful navigation Mr
Crab reached the edge of the rack but
the next moment down it fell, alight
ing on Simkins' shoulder Not feeling
quite safe, it grabbed the voluminous
ear of Simkins to steady itself, and
the passengers held their breath and
waited for developments. But Sim
kins only shook his head slightly.
LET go, Eliza" he murmured. 81 tell
you / have been at the office all the
evening g"-London Pick -Me-Up
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Proving His Motto.

"Well, sir" exclaimed the millionaire,
"what do you want this morning"
I've come again TO ask for your
daughter" said the poor but ambitious
young man.
Haven't | told you six times over
on as many different days that it is
out OF the question? What do you
mean by bothering me in this wayi
You are making a nuisance of your
SELF"
IF | seem to be more persistent than
circumstances warrant, l must insist
that you, sir, are to blame"
Mel" shouted the indignant old man.
II don't understand you"
There" said the man who loved his
daughter as he pointed to motto over
the bankers desk, lis my excuse for
coming here day after day, If at first
you don't succeed, try, try, try again
Do you believe in that sentiment, or
have you put it up there simply to de-
ceive people?"
After he had scratched his head
awhile the mean old plutocrat said:
Yes, / believe in that. l haven't
succeeded yet in making you under
stand that my daughter shall not be-
come the wife of n fool, but l am going
to keep on trying till do. Good morn
ing.'
And that time he did it-Strand
Magazine.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Just a Fish Story.

We cannot refrain from recording
the most curious capture of a fish that
has come to our notice. The circum-
stance was retailed many years ago by
Mr.. Heathcote, one of the great au-
thorities on the fens. A Mr.. Richard
son of Peterborough was skating on
the dkes when the ice was very clear,
and he noticed Il large pike swimming
in front of him. The fish was terrified
by the apparition and swan in front of
the skater until it stopped from sheer
exhaustion. The skater broke the ice
and took out the fish with his hand,
which proved to be a pike weighing
twelve pounds. 1t is Il story difficult
even for n fisherman or a local histo-
rian to cap.-London Outlook.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Men, Women and Adjectives.

Certain adjectives are reserved for
men and others for women. \ man is
never called beautiful" Along with
pretty and 'lovely'' that adjective
has become the property of women and
children alone. Handsome" and the
weak good looking" are the only two
adjectivcs of the kind common to Ell
ther sex. Even "belle" has no real
masculine correlative in English, since
"beau" came to signify something 9TH
er than personal looks. 1t is singular
that handsome" should have become
the word for strikingly good looking
person, since its literal meaning is
handy, dexterous. But pretty like
wise comes from the Anglo-SaxOn word
meaning "sly."
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Not Disturbed.

Nassau William Senior, the English
political economist, was a frequent
guest of Lord Lansdowne at Lans-
downe House and on one occasion was
busily writing, quite distracted as
usual, in room full of company when
Tom Moore was singing. The scratch
of his pen was not an agreeable ac-
compartment, and at last one Of the
company asked very politely, "You are
not fond of music, Mr.. Senior?" NO"
he replied, "but it does not disturb
me in the least. Pray go on"
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Where eegsars Have Trades Unions

Begging is a vocation in China and
beggary an institution. In every prov.
ince there is an organized beggars'
trade union or guild-in some districts
5everal. These guilds have presidents
and officials and are in every respect
thoroughly well organized. There Is
a membership fee of about 81, and all
members swear to abide by the rules.
The chiefs, or kings" as they are
called, are under the protection of the
magistrates, and their power is con
iderable-Wide World Magazine.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
DAINTY FURNITURE

Is not necessarily fragil in
build. We have collection of
very neat and artistic Furniture
for every room in the house, and
though symmetrically handsome
to the eye, it is built strongly for
long service. Just now we have
a line of beautiful Rockers that
are tempting enough to induce
your attention, at prices that will
suit the purse of most everybody.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
The Ace of Artificial Beauty.

Writers on topics concerning WON.
ems matters would fain have us h'.
lieve that the present is the age of
beauty. The fact is that never before
have the arts of artifciality been sc
widely adopted among all classes as
they are today.-London Opinion.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Interests of All.

One thing ought to be aimed at by all
men-that the interest Of each individ-
ually and of all collectively should be
the same, for if each should grasp at
his individual interest all human So
ciety viii be dissolved Cicero.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
A Good Job Comma.

Jeweler-Iow was your boy pleased
with the watch sold you? Fond Fa-
ther-Vcry well, sir. He isn't ready to
have it put together yet but be pa
tient. I'll send him around with it in
a day or two.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Careful About Worry.

\ physician was recently attending a
patient whose husband came to see
him concerning her condition and
greeted him with the words, "Mr.
Irving, do you think there is any need
for any unnecessary anxiety about my
wife"-Argonaut
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
How They Love Each Cher.

Eyes said Miss Passay, hes an
awfully inquisitive bore. lie was try
ing to find out my age the other day,
so just up and told him l was fifty.
That settled him.
"Well," replied Miss Pepprey, II
guess it is best to be perfectly frank
with a fellow like that. at."-Philadelpha
Press
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05

II can take 100 words Il minute"
said one shorthand writer to another.
II often take more than that" re,
marked the other in sorrowful accents
"but then have to. I'm married"
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Renovated.

Puffer-What's happened to my meer-
schaum pipe? Mrs Puffer-Why, dear,
l noticed it was getting awfully brown
and discolored, so I put a coat of that
white enamel on it,
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
North TMn Men.

Len "%Ge the glec club
"Why. his voice is cracked"
'I know. but it split the other night,
and he's singing duets now.''-Yalt
Record
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
All Thev Deserve.

Some people claim they don't get
nuthin' out o. lifc'
"And they are the kind that don't
put nuthin into ii to draw interest
on."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Guessed 1t.

Guest (suspiciously eying the fiat
tened pillows and the crimpled
sheets)-Look here, landlord, this bed
has been slept in! Landlord (trium-
phantly)-That's what it's meant for!
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
Variety.

Fisitor-Why do you make some of
your pies round and some of them
square? Wife-Because my husband
has been complaining of sameness of
his diet lately.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05
And Nov He Doesn't.

Howell % you like congregations
singing! Powell did until the cats
In our neighborhood adopted the idea.
Cameron County press. [volume] (Emporium, Cameron County, Pa.) 1866-1922, 1908-03-05

Testers must be content to taste OF
their broth.-Latin Proverb.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1908-10-10
SHORTER CHAPEL: SUNDAY GER.
VICES

Sunday school at 9:i5a. M.
The pastor will deliver his intro.
ductory sermon at II a. m. Subject.
Having Mind to Work"
Allen c. E. League at $40. Sub
1ect, Commencing Our Society"
Evening sermon at 1880.
Our motto: BE On Time"
A cordial welcome awaits all.
REV. A. NJ. WARD. Pastor.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1908-10-10

ed eastward on his way back home to
Richmond. Mr. Mitchells connection
with the general business and frater.
nal interests of the race in his sec.
ton, made him much sought for in
this city and doubly welcome
Mrs. Hattie Holmes of st. Joe,
mother of Mesdames Hardin and
Payne. is expected in the city to make
tnis her home.
On Tuesday evening several friends
OF Mesdames Ealy and Keelan drop
ped in informally, and delightful eve
ming was spent with Mrs. Gibson,
their guest.
Mrs. W. H. Gibson of Oakland. Cal,
arrived in the city few days ago
and Is the house guest OF Mesdames
Alexander Ealy and Moral Keelan Of
261O Welton street.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1908-10-10

REMEMBER, The Statesman is con.
Quoting the only printing plant in
the city where your job printing can
be done. ALI others sublet your
wor., securing commission for so
doing.
You do not have to 90 East to learn
hairdrsssing In all its branches. En-
quire terms Of the Moler System Of
Colleges, 1929 18th street, Denver,
Colo.
After spending some months in
Maryland S. E. Cook is once again in
the city and is at home at 1915 Clark
son street.
Mr.. and Mrs. Lawrence B. Stephen
have rooms at 1886 Curtis and will be
pleased to have their friends call and
see them
The Misses hamburg and Messrs.
Beard and Kennth left the city Tues
day for their home in Arkansas.
After Spending week in the city
in attendance upon the bankers con-
vention, John Mitchell, Jr., has start
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1908-10-10

The funeral OF Fred Elliston. who
died Thursday morning at 2125 Arap-
ahoe street. will be held from the nn.
dertaking establishment OF Q. ]. Gil
more this afternoon at o'clock. In
terment will be at Fairmount GENE.
terry.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1908-10-10
NOTICE.

Anyone desiring Nine. C. j. Walk.
er's wonderful hair-grower will fnd
same at Mrs. r. Simpsons, 1850 Lo
gan avenue. She is also agent for the
Eureka Comb. which can be had for
$1.50. Nothing excels 1t for straight
enins and beautifying the hair. The
Grower can be had for SO cents pc,
box, pressing oil for 35 cents per box
Club No. I will give children's en-.
tertainment with tableaux at Central
Baptist church, October 90. Admis.
sion 10 cents.
The Guild Of the Church of the Re-
deemer gave an oyster supper at
the home Of Mr.. and Mrs. Stell Tues.
day night.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1908-10-10

Mrs. n. L. Anderson entertained in
honor Of Mrs. W. H. Gibson OK Oak.
land, Cal, on last Thursday evening.
Mr.. A. A. Ealy took much pleasure
in showing Mrs. W. H. Gibson around
the Loop, last Sunday
The funeral OF Mrs. Pearl Cox, who
died Friday morning at St Anthony's
hospital was held from Shorter's A.
NJ. E. church Sunday afternoon at 2
o'clock. The deceased leaves hus-
band, three children and several rel
atives to mourn her loss. Rev. Ward
officiated. Interment at Riverside
cemetery. Undertaken Q. J. Gilmore
had charge Of the funeral.
The funeral of Miss Courtney Han.
cock. who died Sunday morning at the
county hospital, was held from Zion
Baptist church Wednesday afternoon
at O'Clock. Rev. Reynolds oniciating.
lnterment was at Fairmount Gene
terry. The deceased leaves a host of
friends to mourn her loss. Undertak-
er Q. j. Gilmore had charge OF the
funeral.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1908-10-10
HELP US BE PROMPT

Many Of
requiring new arrangement Of mailing saeys
aeh you on Saturday. notify
be corrected notification No should Monday
Ing the subscriber. - " ~
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1908-10-10

Mrs. r. T. Anderson entertained in
honor Of Mrs. W. H. Gibson OK Oak
land, Cal, on last Thursday evening.
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1908-10-10

After Spending week in the city
in attendance upon the bankers con
vention, John Mitchell, Jr., has start
Franklin's paper the statesman., 1908-10-10

The Misses hamburg and Messrs
Beard and Kennth left the city Tues
day for their home in Arkansas.
Middletown transcript., 1908-02-01
sr1cK 70 FARMs, ADVISES ExPERr

GEoReETowE, DEL, January 24th-Pro-
fessor II. Hay ward, in his talk before the
Farmers Institute here, spoke on Possi-
bllities in Farming and III Country Life. :"
s.Put the sauie amonnt Of thought into q
farm that a business man puts into his
business, ana the farmer will make a for
tune, lie said. ''What can the young
man from the farm dc III city at new
business? Itis better for him to stay
where ne knows the business, study his
soil aud possibilities in his farm and he
will make more money with far less
worry than the banker or professional
man in the city.
II have known man with 100 acre
farm, who cleared just SC. 900 every year.
Especially are there great possibilities in
the Delaware laud. Il is just as rich as
the land in the West, and irst as capable
Of raising big crops of wheat or corn.
I'm the fruit line, it has nearness OF
market to help, aud there is no reason
why a young man should not become
independently rich with few years.
scientific work, on a farm, in Delaware. "
''There are few herds Of dairy cows in4
which some of them are not affected by
tuberculosis" was the statement made
by DR.. Charles F. Dawson, veterinarian
Of the Delaware Experiment Station.
Middletown transcript., 1908-02-01
oUTsID By RIVAL

GEORGETOWN, January 24th.-Because
Robert Messic's rival outbid him at
''box social" for the privilege of eating
lunch with Messic's best girl the young
man smashed windows in the house to
get revenge.
The social was held at the house of
William 7. Swain, Of Cekebury, for the
bedefit of church. Swain came here
yesterday and got warrant for Messic.
By the rules of the social" each girl
brings lunch box, the highest bidder
for each box to partake of its contents
with the girl. Messic was little short
Of funds, and got hungry and angry when
his rival bought his fair ones lunch.
Messic got q brick, went out aud
pounded in the window panes.