The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-08-23

Inc IOlloWlng IS mostly from lht
New York Sun, in which periodical il
appeared under the caption: Its a
Pity about Mr. Knagg.' And SO it
is. We have revised it somewhat for
the sake of local color, but its author
will pardon US this presumption in ex-
change for our admiration for his
ability to see the other side of the
old familiar Knagg picture.
Mr.. Knagg upon arriving home spoke
in part as follows: "Hello! How s
that! Forgot to kiss you? Oh, bother!
Well, there then. Pretty hot climate
seems to me for that kind of nonsense.
Wonder how many more years you ex-
pect me to keep up that lallygagging
business anyhowa Huh?
s'Oh, that's right, begin to dab at
your eyes, Dissolve into a cascade if
you are so crazy over that stuff. Darn
the luckl Can't you give me chance
to get my hat off before you begin
to whimper all over the placeR
''Don t you suppose / have enough
to worry me all day without having
to stack up against this whining prop
osition the minute / get homes Hey
Great home l call it. How d we sup
pose I spend my days downtown any
howl Picking wild fowersl Listen
ing to violoncello solos? And the min
ute / set foot in the house you pull the
tear valve and begin to scatter salt
water and gloom all around the dump.
Blamed tiresome gag, that's what |
call it.
Whateha numbering about any
howl Oh, I'm not chivalrous any
more, eha Say wait a minute. What
century is this we re living in any
way. Huh? Right! Twentieth And
how long after he's married in this
twentieth century is a imam supposed
to moon calf and spoon around with
his wife after a hard day s work ; What
d We want me to do? Fizzigig around
like dancing master, kiss your hand,
place both mitts on my heart and tell
you that your marcel wave is all the
candy, trill you little Tilt or two
and all that slommicking around. Is
that your ideas Because, you know, if
it is the sooner you wake up the better.
Maybe you think you make a hit
with your eyes all Redeemed up that
way. How's that? / used to be glad
to kiss you when / came in? Course
did. Do now. Tickled to death. I'm
in perfect frenzy of excitement until
| get home! All us fellows that have
been married seven years are like that.
Why shouldn t we bel Oh, well then,
never mind, / m sorry. I'm always
sorry. Seems to me my whole life has
come to be one continuous performance
squaring up gag with you. Why can t
we live rational like other peopleR
q But say, for heaven s sake cut it
Quit How about the eatsf That s
what m interested in just now. Eats!
VittIes
''Say, why the devil don t you have
steak sometimess You know l like
steak better than anything else. Had
steak last night? Like thunder we did
i've call that steaki | mean real
steak If this roast were shaved up IN
little, thin slices it would make dandy
stuffing for hot weather mattress.
Did YOU order it yourself or did you
leave it to the cook as usual2 Great
system, you We got. Kind o tired
these DAYS amt you2 Sad the way
YOU re overworked in this awful eli
mate. You have to go to the telephone
at least twice a day to order things
from tradesmen who send along any
old also ran junk they happen to find
and then charge me first class prices
for some. Too bad about you.
'fSay. what on earth is the matter
with this coffee? Tastes like stewed
onions or monkey cage. Best coffee
in the market, eh2 Its cinch that ]
pay the best in the market price for
it, but if this stuff doesn t taste like
vegetable compound hair grower then
/ was born in old New Hampshire
where the cypress lilies grow. That s
what,
"What's that! We're going to
play bridge at the Clippittses this even
ingl Oh, gawd. Who said we were
oh. the engagement was made last
week was it and l made it myself
Ye-eh! Maybe / did. Well | must
have taken about pound of sleep