The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-26
AMatrimoniaIAgent
Icopyrisht Igos, by American press Asso

came upon a small house bearing n
sign, matrimonial Agency" Curios-
lty led me to stop and investigate. Ip-
stead OF being received by woman,
as expected. man answered my
summons He led me into poorly
furnished sitting room and waited for
me to declare the object of my com
ing
He was an uncouth looking man,
with red hair and A freckled skin, but
there was nothing unpleasant about
his expression unless II was his eye.
ii was not exactly malevolent; 1t rath-l
Ell. indicated a soul within harassed by.
some adversely. y
We'll" | said when we were seat
ed, IL saw your sign, and as l am
looking for a wife thought | would
come In and see what you have to Of
fer. But first tell me how you, a man.
happen to be running a matrimonial
agency, business that seems to per.
tain rather to woman?"
I'm here to make stories for other
people, not to tell mine"
what do you mean by making sto-
ries?'
"Stories according TO the novel writ
ers all begin with the meetin Of a
man and woman. Usually they mar
ry at the end of the yarn, and the nov.
elist sinks out OF the business"
'Sllnks out of the business?'
IL don't pretend to make happy mar
ringes. I simply introduce people and
let 'em figure 1t out for themselves"
"But why do you use the word
stink In speaking of the novelist?"
"why doesn't he stand up square
and say: I've told you about this
couple, what kind of time they've
had gittin' each other, all the fool
pranks they've played a-doin of 1t to
the day they was married? But y
mought as well understand that ]
don't mean to say they're goin' to keep
It up. They may git on together, but
the chances are-for the fust two or
three years anyway they won't. They
may fight right along. hangin' on for
the sake of their children, or they may
find their way into the divorce courts.
Anyway, they got TO git over lot Of
troubles Ef the novelist would be
far about It and tell his readers jist
what To expect II the story run ON. he
wouldn't sell SO many of his novels,
but he'd have clean conscience. He
don't do no sich thing. He don't even
take 'em through the honeymoon.
There's lots Of couples goin' Off to-
gether all alone by themselves, afeared
somebody II butt IN, aud before they've
got through the honeymoon wish some
body pould butt In. Honeymoon! Why
do they call II honeymoonl Because II
changes. When II begins the moons
full aud begins to ,wane right Off. II
isn't the huh moon they mean, cause
in two weeks the moons new ag'in and
!. begins TO waneo That's the time O
couple begins to sit tired of each 9th
ers undivided company-that is, II they
don't begin before"
"Oh. you're too sweeping In your
statements" Interrupted. ''There are
lots of happy marriages. lots where
the honeymoon never ends. But In
Interested. Tell me your own story
| don't want wife. only came II
here from curiosity OF course I've ne
right to take up your time without
profit to you. You must make youl
fee all the same"
! tossed bill on to Il table near by.
"Well, stranger, ef y put II that
away don't mind tellin you. j Wen
through the novel experience part, anC
confess It was very slick. The ga
and got the sulks at ench other every
two or three days, sometimes seyera
times a day. But the maxim up wai
wo'th It all. Then we said goodby t.
the story business and sailed off int
the honeymoon stage. Somehow wheI
we got mlffcd at each other the maxim
up wasn't so sorghum like. Before W.
got home we had a reai fight that W.
didn't make up at all.
II won't go over what follered. Chill
dren came to US and. seeln' theil
mother fghtin' me all the time. they
tux hand and TUX to pitchin' stools
at me, stood II for a matter Of tel
} years. when one day when they drlv
Inc outen the house with gridirons ant
rollin' pins | didn't go back no more.
They say ef man wants to ge
on lie oughter be In business h
knows somepln about. What I dom
know about matrimony ain't wo'tl
KNOWN. But | don't seem TO get OF
very well ct 1t. reckon I'm too hon
! est. Ef ! want no honester than tn
! novelists | could make II go wei
enough, but amt no sich low dow
cuss."
"There are cases." remarked
'where one knows too much about hi
business or, stated differently, he at
taches too much Importance TO hi
own experienced"
"That may belt. stranger Anyway
you seem to be different from the res
who come here. You know It all your
self, You don't rely on me for any
thing except the introduction. That
what want, You've paid the fee. Yo'
! mought as well get the worth Of you
money. Let me Introduce you 10
young woman I'VE got on my list
good lookin', healthy. blue eyes The
say them kind is tricky. but you're no
| lfraid She wants n husband aud ali