davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

ground and proceeds to celebrate For fear that
he may be lonesome two three others follow
him and pretty soon most of them sliding back
to Mother Earth and alleged happiness. Occa-
sionally or two is found who keeps reso-
luton or two and then there is place reserved
for him in the hall of fame, but there are lots
of empty inches there
New Years parties, attended by young people.
are the breeding places for resolutions. Invent
ors of games who profit thereby, have gone far
as to concoct resolution games for parties of that
sort and in some of the contests the loser is COM
PEELED to keep his promise to swear on this or
that If he would adhere to his or her affidavit.
A story is told of young lady and young man,
engaged to each other, who attended New Years
party. The couple were extremely fond of each
other and the bride-tobe had only one objection
to her intended spouse, viz, that he drank ntoxi-
cants. He not aware that she knew 1t. Con-
sequently before the little social function she
fixed" the resolution contest, so he would lose.
She playfully told him that he must keep his
resolution and he, rather fearfuy promised, little
suspecting the plot
WE'LL he lost and said he would keep the prom
ise though he lied and said he never touched
drop in his life"
81 know you don't drink" she breathed into
his ear from the depths of cozy corner, but
want to be sure that you never will
Thus the young mans habit met its Waterloo
in the New Years trick of a stacked deck, pro-
their marriage, his taste for spirits was declared
positively extinct by the wife in recent coroners
inquest at the ladies' sewing circle.
That was one resolution which held and prob
ably will for the rest of the young married mans
lfe providing he doesn't get into politics. But
that was one of a few. When man or woman
makes a resolution with string attached to it,
such as awarding watching friend few simo-
Icons in case the promise to abstain from some
habit is broken, then the vaccination takes but
otherwise, 1t seldom holds good for more than
week week is really long stretch for the
life of set of promises. most of them expiring
with dawn of January l. although having been
made only the previous night This new year will
see the breaking of approximately s,ooo,0oo we'll
founded resolutions. but who cares? There are
lots more New Years coming. say the philoso-
piers.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25
ECZEMA ALL OVER HIM.
No Nights Rest for Year and Limit
of His Endurance Seemed Near
Owes Recovery to Cuticura.

"My son Clyde was almost com.
pletely covered with eczema. Physi-
clans treated him for nearly a year
without helping him any. His head.
face. and neck were covered with large
scabs which he would rub until they
fell off. Then blood and matter would
run out and that would be worse.
Friends coming to see him said that IL
he got we'll he would be disfigured for
life. When it seemed as If he could
possibly stand it no longer, I used
some Cuticura Soap, Cuticura Oint-
!ment, and Cuticura Resolvent. That
was the first night for nearly a year
that he slept. In the morning there
was 4 great change for the better. In
about six weeks he was perfectly well.
Our leading physician recommends
'Cuticura for eczema. Mrs. Algy
Cockburn, Shiloh, o., June II, 1907"
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25
NOT THE rHRos OF LOVE.
Dear Ones "Reminiscences Seemed
Somehow to Lack Romance.

They sat on the sofa. They had
Just come to mutual understanding,
and he had measured her finger for
the engagement ring, and they were
In the first throes of tender reminis-
cehce.
'You do not remember" he said,
In a trembling voice, you do not re-
member when you first saw me?"
Yes, do"
did any thrill or throb tell your
heart this happy moment would
come? No; that could not be ex-
pected"
Yes, something did seem to whis-
per that we might become man and
wife,"
MY darling" And he kissed her
fondly.
Yes; remember I saw you from
the window leaving the house, and I
thought you were bandy-legged, and
thought how awful 1t would be to
marry bandy-legged man, but it was
only the glass in the window that was
uneven and made you look so.G
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

One of the large eastern newspapers
mas recently abandoned the comic
supplement" Of its Sunday edition.
The change was followed by discus.
sion in other papers of the merits and
faults of the comic supplement. Pres.
'ident Hadley made 1t plain In his re-
cent article in the Youths Companion
that the existence of any feature" Of
a newspaper, good or bad, Is deter
mined by the people, and that the
newspapers purvey what they have
found by experience the people are
ready to buy. In this, as in other mat
tiers, we have no one to blame for
faults but ourselves-and our next
door neighbors.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

1t used to be said that railroad
through new country was one of the
greatest of civilizers. 1t looks as II
the automobile might be made to serve
equally well. China has always
frowned on railroads, and In conse-
Quence a great part of 1t is shut of
from the outside world, but the
Chinese are much pleased with auto
mobiles, and in and around the cities
they are becoming familiar sight.
The next step is good roads and gen.
eral development.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Motor omnibuses, motor trucks and
traction engines are SO dangerously
numerous in the congested sections Of
the city Of London that conferences at
the Mansion house have been discuss
ing means ito check the speed, noise
and smell Of heavy motor traffic."
These are the grievances that citizens
complain Of; and the list suggests that
the next worst thing to losing limb
once in a while is to have ones ears
and nostrils offended all the time.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25
Starch, like everything else, is be

Starch. like everything else, is be-
ing constantly improved. the patent
Ssarches put on the market 25 years
ago are very different and inferior to
those of the present day. In the lat
est Observation-Disclosures Starch-all in
furious chemicals are omitted, while
the addition of another ingredient, in
vented by us. gives to the Starch .
strength and smoothness never ap-
preached by other brands.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25
BTATE OF OHIO CITY OF TOLEDO,
Cc.r-s-r.r SS.

FRANK j. CHENEY makes oath that he b sentos
partner of the irm OF F. ]. CHENEY 4 Co.. doins
business In the City OF Toledo. County and Ststa
Aforesaid and that said firm will pay the q
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each and every
OF CAIARRH that cannot be cured by the use q
HALLS CATARRH CURE
80 FRANK J. CHENEY.
g.. Sworn TO before and subscribed In my presence
this 9Th day Of December. A. D.. 1886.
A. W. GLEASON.
NOTARY PUBLIC.
- Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken internally and act1
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces OF the
system. Send for testimonias free.
al F. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo. O.
Sold by all Druggists, 75c
i, Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

THIN a few days our ears will
be filled with the deafen-
ing crash of people breaking
their New Years resolutions.
Three million sets of iron-clad
non-combustible American "nev-
er-agaips" crushed to earth will
remain there until dug up again
the night of December 81, 1909.
What has the New Year in
store for you, joy. or sorrow?
Few to-day realize what or where
they will be before the end of
1909 and attamntS to nrOQn0s.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25
A Scheme That Failed.

Well-to-Do Patient (pleading pow
erty)-I hope, doctor. you will re-
member that l am a poor man, and
make out your bill accordingly.
Doctor CATERING the fgures) THAT
stead of $40. l always add ten per
cent. to my bills against the poor to
make up for the proportion of them
that I fail TO collect-Illustrated Sum
day Magazine.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

It seems to be the consensus of
opinion Of correspondents of the Daily
News that living is cheaper abroad but
that money is harder to make. There
never was a rose without thorn, but
perhaps Luther Burbank will be able
to make one some day.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25
Needed Them in His Business.

what with whooping cough,
measles and all that" began the first
traveller, children are a great care,
but they are blessings sometimes"
: Certainly they are" interrupted
the second traveller. Il don't know
how we should get along without
them
"Ah, you're a family man, too?"
mo; a doctor."-Stray Stories.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Chicago's traction interests contem-
plate two-hundred-and.for
lion-dollar merger. A man with only
$1,0O0,000 must feel pretty small when
he tries to talk business these days.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

A New York tradesman of long ex-
perience says that the hardest persons
to collect bills from are those who
have no money and those who have a
great deal of money.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Prof. Ellie Metchnikoff will. devote
his Nobel prize to the study Of
longevity, and he says he is convinced
there is no good reason why useful
lives should terminate at the compare
lively early ages Of 70 or 80 years. But
the professor is silent upon the pro-
1ongation of lives that are not useful.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Partnership for mutual advantage
was observed when two one-legged
men went into a Broadway (New
York; automatic shoe-shining shop
and each had his shoe shined for the
same nickel dropped in the slot.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

There may be walking test to try
the sea legs of naval officers. 1t will,
at all events, remarks the Baltimore
American, relieve the fear Of being re-
Quired to dance hornpipe and we
might suggest that they be made to
dive and swim.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

A young woman in New Jersey fell
dead from excitement and terror
caused by the sight of mouse in her
path. Now say that mouse is not
terrible beast, will you?
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

The national dowry of China seems
TO be dowagers. A new one has succeed
ed the old one in power, and the re-
port is that she is quite clever and re-
sourceful. 1t is odd that In country
where women hold such despised
place, woman ruler should be all
powerful. but history affords many
parallels of the case.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

In the days when Methuselah and
Others stuck around for 700 or 800
years the microbe which Prof. Metch-
nixon blames for causing old age had
mot been discovered.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Miss Ruth H. Northrop of Norwich,
Conn. has won the scholarship offered
by the Norwich Art Students associa-
tion. The work she submitted consist
ed OF three groups of animals and fig-
u-c~ modelled in CLAY from life.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

A Mems league for women suffrage
has been formed in Holland, and the
Lutheran church in that country has
given women vote in all church af-
fairs
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25
Must Have Meant Him.

II wish l knew" said Cholly Sap
head. If l have any show of winning
Miss Roxie Swellman."
We'll" answered Miss Peppery.
from a remark of hers l think you're
her choice"
"Aw, really? What did she sayg"
''She said nobody was good enough
to be her husband"
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

The prima donna whose husband is
wildly excited because she wears
tights on the stage should get the
press agent to calm him IL possible.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Jane Addams, DR.. Cornelia De Bey
and Mrs. Emmons Blaine, whose terms
on the Chicago school board have Just
expired, have not been reappointed.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Legal lynching" takes place In Ten
nessee. That's good. Now can't we
have little legal arson, counterfeiting
and general hellraising?
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Richard Croker cannot be expected
to find entertainment in country
where horse racing is at present in
such slight favor.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

AS discreet diplomat Mr.. WI
should be in no great haste to get
back to the vicissitudes Of official life
in China.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Truth should be the first lesson Of
the child and the last inspiration oe
manhood.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

luton. Then the press lets us know about it and
as rule the alleged New Years resolution which
was kept may be laid at the door of the bright
young reporter who covered the death and who
was anxious to inooulate feature into his story
There are thousands of ways of applying the
"never again." Here are few of the more or less
popular ways:
1 promise never again, after January to-
Drink tntoxicants
smok. Tobacoo.
swear.
ae Mean 70 NV Wife
Keen ate Hours.
Waste Money
Eat HEAVY Meals
Vote the - Ticket,
Grow a Mustaehe
spurn the Alarm Clocks Call
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Cobless corn Is announced from
Bloomington, ILL., Don't want it. How
are we going to eat corn off the cob?
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Each hour has its lesson and in
LIE; and II we miss this we shall not
ind its lesson In another.---King.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25
Kent Him 3usy

Carrie-I made Arthur apologize for
kissing me.
Lena-When?
Carrie-Between kisses. Smart
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25
Worth its Weight in Gold.

PETTITS EYE SALVE strengthens old
eyes, tonic for eye strain, weak, watery eyes.
Druggists or Howard Bros. Buffalo. n. ".
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Those Tired. Aching Feet OF Yours
Write A. =. omsted. Lie Roy N. T.. FOR sample. M v
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Mrs. Winksow'a Soothing Syrup.
For children .eethtng, s0ftenz tho RnS roduces -
nAmmation. slays pain, cures Wind colu 5c bosajS
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

This would ba brighter world Z
Tie people Who can't sirg wouldn't.
The Montgomery tribune., 1908-12-25

Important to Mothere-
Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA safe and sure remedy for
infants and children. and see that iC
Signature s1sss t's Of sofI3AZzZa
In Use For Over 80 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-04-02
VANDERBILT SCION
SUED FOR DIVORCE
Wife Of Albert G.. Starts Action That
May Not Be Defended-Mys-
terry Surrounds the Case.

New York, April 2.-Reports that
have been current for week of diff
ferences between Mr.. and Mrs. Albert
G. Vanderbilt were confirmed yester-
day afternoon by the filing of suit
against Mr.. Vanderbilt by his wife.
So closely was the details of the pro-
ceeding guarded by the principals and
their attorneys that no intimation was
given as to the exact character of the
action, whether the suit was for sep.
aration or absolute divorce
From the most autheNtic source il
was learned that the sympathies OF
the Vanderbilt family are with the
plaintiff in the suit. 1t was said that
Mrs. Alfred Vanderbilt had in hel
possession letters that render the ac
tion undefendable, SO far as any
chance of successfully 'contesting the
suit is concerned. 1t was said, how
ever, that there probably would be
no defense entered, as it has beer
current gossip among the friends ant
relatives of the families of both Mr.
and Mrs. Vanderbilt that the forfnei
would not consider himself unfortun
ate in the event his wife obtained
even an absolute divorce.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-04-02
MAN WHO COMMITS UNLAWFUL ACT
/ IN SLEEP CANNOT BE HELD FOR IT
/ BEFORE Law, CHICAGO JURY HOLDS

Chicago. April "A man who COM
nlits an unlawful act In his sleep can
rot be held responsible, TOR 1T in a
court of law.
This is the deduction 10 De drawn
from the verdict of acquittal returned
yesterday by jury in Judge Bren-
tano's court in the case against Ross
Freeman, the somnambulistic burglar.
The jury was unanimously il favor
of acquittaI when the lawyers ad.
dresses and courts instructions were
closed. The IL men desired to return
a mot guilty" v1rdict without leaving
their seats. On being informed by
Judge Brentano that it was customary
for juries to retire to the jury room
, the IL filed out, to file in again three
minutes later with the verdict. The
spectators applauded.
Thanks Jurors.
4 want to thank you jurors sale
Judge Brentano, after the verdict,
return, "and to state publicly that tht
lcourt fully approves the verdict
The only one in the court to disap
prove OF the finding was Fred Folger
4O0l Armour avenue. whose salool
and apartments were entered by Free
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-04-02
Retiring Head Of the Miners
Announces BUSINESS He
Is to Follow.
FOR INDUSTRIAL PEACE.
Will Speak for Ali Organized
Workers-.-May Settlement .
Near in Southwest.

Indianapolis, Ind, April John
Mitchell, retired president of the Unit
ed Mine Workers of America, an.
Eounced yesterday that he will devote
his attention to a labor paper which
he will establish in indianapolis. The
object of the paper Is the securing of
industrial peace between the miners
and operators of the country. Mr.
Mitchell said:
Il shall establish i'm Indianapolis a
weekly paper in thesinterests of min
ers and operators. and to further in.
dustrial peace in the ranks of one OF
the greatest industries of this coun
try. My hope is that can carry out
my ideal to it's fullest extent.
mot only will my paper, the name
of which l have not yet selected, de
vote itself to the work of the mining
industry, but all labor in general"
Will Meet Miners.
Kansas City, April 2-The South
western Interstate Coal Operators as
sociation today agreed to meet the
committee from the convention of the
United Mine Workers of America oi
Kansas, Oklahoma and Arkansas Mon
day next. The joint committee will
TRY to decide upon wage scale.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-04-02

man and who was attacked by him.
Folger expressed the belief that Free
man was wide awake at the time of
the occurrence,
Case Proves Unique.
The verdict of the jury closes case
unique in the extreme. Freeman, who
is an employe of the Crane company,
and has borne good reputation. was
arrested early New Years morning in
Folger's apartments behind his saloon
Freeman had broken open the door
walked through the saloon and was
breaking open trunk when attacked
by Folger. He made a counter attack
on Folger and beat the latter severely
Freeman. who was unarmed, also at
tackled Mrs. Folger, who sought to as
sist her husband.
Neighbors came to the aid of the
Folgers and Freeman was finally over
powered and arrested, He appeared
! to be in his senses and answered ques
ltions. He then went to sleep Tn,
next morning he professed completi
Ignorance of what had happened an,
from that time has steadfastly insist
ed that he cannot recall single dc
tail Of the affair.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-04-02
NEW MEAT INSPECTION
RULES GO INTO EFFECT
Bureau of Animal Industry Points Out
Three Ways Of Denaturizing
lnedibIe Fats.

Washington, April New regula-
tions governing meat inspection went
into effect yesterday. The department
of agriculture has received several
complaints regarding the clause which
requires that all inedible grease, tai
low or other fats must be denatured
and rendered unavailable for food pur-
poses before shipment Is made.
1t is also alleged that the denatur-
ization of the fats will render them
unfit for lubricating purposes and dis
courage foreign trade. A circular let
ter has been sent out by the bureau of
animal industry providing three ways
in which the grease and fats can be
denatured, by means OF kerosene or
coal tar creosote. either of which
would give an odor; or by means of
Soudan "3"Ia coloring matter.
1t is said that the chemists Of Eur
lope have been able to convert the in
edible fats of this country into the
finest Holland cheese and English
creamery butter.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-04-02
YESTERDAY IN CONGRESS-

washington, April g. Following
are In brief the proceedings of the
two houses Of congress yesterday as
taken from the official records:
SENATE-The passage of bill au-
across the Snake river In the state of
Washington, and the reconsideration 'oi
measure for adjudicating the claims
of states against the government ac-
count OF the. disposition of the proceeds
tire session of the senate yesterday.
until today.
HOUsE--Debate of the agricultural
appropriatioN bill in the house was de-
void OF the charges and imputations
which marked its consideration on Mon
day and Tuesday More progress was
made with the measure than on any
previ ious day, and the indications are
that 1t Will finally get through today.
Yesterdays discussion dwelt on prop
osition for an increased appropriation
for the farmers bulletins, which, how
ever. was refused. and the subject OF
Inquiries into road building, etc.,s by the
department. the trend Of opinion being
that such work should be encouraged
The session was opened with bitter
attack on Attorney General Bonapartt
by Mr.. Clark of Florida, Who denonnc-
ed him as being no lawyer, and unit
lutterance was the reporting out of com
mittee of a resolution by Mr.. Clarl
calling for a statement of the expens,
lconnected with peonage investigation
and prosecutions. That the resolution
was simply a further and unnecessar.
attack on the attorney general by MI
Clark was the declaration by Mr.. Caul
/ field of Missouri, who led the opposi
: tion- The resolution was tabled. "A
..4:46 p. M the house adjourned 70 toda,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-04-02
POPULIST CONVENTION RESISTS
ALL EFFORTS TO POSTPONE THE
TRANSACTION OF ITS BUSINESS

favorably report the general treaty
resulting from The Hague Conference
providing for the pacific settlement
|of international conflicts.
This is an amendment of the cor
responding agreement of 1899 and
makes material additions to that con-
vention. The committee also heard
Mr.. Roots views on the two treaties
providing for the regulation of con-
tracts and the establishment of prize
courts, but took no action on either of
them.
Contrary to expectation. the Vene-
zuelan question was not touched upon.
II is understood that the committee
members desire further time in which
to inform themselves before taking
up this subject.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-04-02
LIKE BlLlK-
h vzRAll POISON Y
] 1IR CASE IS HIS
Cook County Authorities
Disinter the Body Of
Charles Stroner.

Chicago. April 2.-The county au-
thorities today caused to be exhumed
the body of Charles Stroner, the we'll
to-do Bohemian, whose death month
ago was believed, by some members
of his family to be due to white
liquid" administered shortly before
death. Mrs. Stroner is alleged to be
clairvoyant and is said to be pos
sessed of hypnotic powers. The al
legged motive for the supposed murder
of Stroner was the hope of profiting
fby insurance on his life. The au-
thorities believe the affair to be a
counterpart of the famous Billik-Vzral
poisoning case.
Says There Was No Poison.
After making an examination OF
iStroners body, Coroner's Physician
Reinhardt reported he found death due
to natural causes.