davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
The JoIted Poet.

From Sketch.
The young man with the uncut hair AM
hungry look had submitted poem for
editorial consideration.
Well said the man behind the blue
pencil, after a hurried glance at Il, "hOw
does thirty shillings strike your
''Well-er-really,' stammered the
rhymester, that is more than I-er-''
We'll. that's the best ] can do" in
terrupted the busy editor. II couldn't {
think of printing a poem like that for
less -"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
For she Would Speak.

From the Catholic Standard and Times
1T is impossible cried A1r Nagget.
finally. for us 10 live together and not
quarrel"
But" snapped Mrs. Nagget, 1T is
possible not to quarrel if neither Of US
speaks
"Of course, but, as / say, it's impos-
sible for US to live together and not quar-
rpI -
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
Health Hint.


from luCA-
The lecturer on health had finished his
discourse and invited hfs auditors to ask
any questions they chose concerning
points that might seem to need clearing
up when a lean, skinny man rose up
and asked: Professor, what do you do
when you can't sleep at night?"
/ usually stay awake" replied the lee
turer, although, OF course, every one
should feel at liberty to do otherwise IL
he chooses. Are there any other ques-
tiOns?'
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
Time 90 WnI.e In.

From Judge.
Wishing to learn what his nephew
would say, Uncle Charles asked little
Fred:
What would you do If you stood at
the root Of tree with your foot on the
head of live rattlesnake. a tiger was
crouching on a branch above ready to
spring, and you saw an Indian running
at you with uplifted tomahawk?'' y
should wake right up was the unev-
pected reply.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
The Goats Of Dixie Land.

In Dixie almost every third youngster
owns a goat. and many have pairs of
them. 1t is a common sight in any Of the
fashionable streets, even of large cities,
to see Well groomed bilies drawing
miniature carriages with juvenile drivers
Many Of the goats owned by Southern
children are handsome animals.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
AZ a shootIng Party.

From the London Opinion
He mad made his pile in trade. and join
ed the aristocratic house party for the
shooting. In spite of his wealth. how
ever, he was not altogether popular
What tip ought ! to give the Keeper
he asked of his neighboT after dinner.
1T all depends. how and where YOU
hit him" was the quiet rejoinder
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
A Word L. Rnrn

From the New York Press
The chorus lady certainly was flustered
when she entered the dressing
'Oh. my" she gasped i've had an
experience. 7 was followed for FIVE blocks
by a man. l was awfully afraid. / be-
lieve he wanted toto
ITO what" snapped the show girl.
ITO affinitize me-" said the chorus lady.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
Trouble with the Limerick.

From the New York sun.
I recall a limerick that is almost, If
not entirely perfect in meter. 1t runs:
His name was 8isthuselah Cholmodelsy
And most things he did rather dolmOdeley;
But by dint Of the fame
OF his family name
He married a girl that was c1mOdeiey."
'In this stropher the first, second, and
fifth lines are simple nOnanacrusistic
amphibrahic tetrameter acatalectic, and
the intervening dipodies are plain nom
anacrusistic anapestic dimeter acata-
lectic"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
4 Foregone Conclusion.

From the Philadelphia Press
Miss Prim-He stole a kiss You see,
he was so quick I didn't realize what he
was about
Miss Wise-Of course you didn't ike
II at all.
Miss Prim-Well. tell you, he'll never
steal another,
Miss Wise-No, of course not, you'll
give them to him after this
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05

From the Meggcndorfer Blaetter
A German merchants wife complained
to an intimate friend recently:
IF only my husband were not so abb
sent minded. The other day, when we
were dining at a restaurant, the waiter
brought him some bad fish. and all Of a
sudden Fritz threw the whole thing, fish,
plate. bread, all at my head l was
ashamed
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
Marital Note.


frcm Life,
Wife-our daughter is twenty. and she
ought to be married.
Hubby-Oh, she has plenty OF time. Let
her wait till the right sort of man comes
along.
Not at all! I didn't wait for the right
sort of MANI
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
Sunernunun

From Piek-Ms-Up
My dear boy. that's the seventh
cigarette since dinner. I believe you'll
die smoking"
Yes; I'm afraid I shall have m take
4 supply OF cigarettes ana matches
with me"
why matches?"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
FABLE OF THE MEDDLING CROCODILE
BY JAMES j. MONTAGUE.

A Morbid Meddlng Crocodile Care
Because he found that Life a Terrible Affair
That Lied
Committed Wrongs and Broke the Laws,
The Steps that others Made Aside had Weep
And Worrying Things, los tmuchN
Until he thought that he Called to See
To Check Mad
One side the Ripplng
lie saw Meretreious and Despteful
Engaged in the Correction o S Wedded Wife
Whom he a n of herIi
Aha!' said he. Where Praise
By making this the Error of
And ia. he Pa upon his Wist
And Velvetly 4 he etter not Desist
When the Molten the rientEa
And Shed Enugent the and Man and
1t Lit Shining Something
A something that andC old-o owfta Crocodile
Whose First and Best Meant OF
Were met with the Bestowal a
The Which. Pit it's True
Ih Which said Half Ton Of Injured LADY threw
MORAL.
Which Trouble quite Reggiouslv Alone
Beats al known Ways of Keeping our own
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
Love Not Deep Enough

from Answers.
Grace Ito her bosom friend, who IS
caressing a blear-eyed pOodle)-I hear
your engagement with Fred has been
broken off?
Bertna with a sigh)-Yes, I found that
his love for me was not the deep, true
love which nothing on earth can change,
so 1 was compelled to let him 60
Grace-Why. how did you find /. outP
Bertha-Easily enough. He got so
angry every time poor FlOssie bit him.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
HARMONY AT EXTRA COST.
Clerk In POst-eHlce Does Not Like
Patrons Color Scheme.

"Of course. remarked the post office
clerk, "it is none Of my business what
sort Of notions rich people have and I
am here to sell postage stamps as called
for But I'm goat If It doesn't look
kind of funny TO see one rich and fash
ionabIe New York lady who always uses
lavender stationery buying purple Scent
stamps 10 go with il instead Of using the
pink 2-cent kind. I'm not color blind
and I know that purple goes better with
lavender than pink does. but ! don't
think I'd spend a cent extra on every
letter l sent just because l wanted har-
mony in colors. At least. ! don't think
I would. Maybe II I had a bushel OF
money I'd think different. I'd like to try
it once and see"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
Putting 1t Mildly.

From IlcH-Mc-Jp.
Edwin. aged three, who fondled his
small cat overmuch and unwisely ap-
peared before his mother one day, his
little face guiitily panied and a scratch
upon his hand
What happened?" she asked
Il bent the kitty a little, he said
briefly.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05

From the Lustigc Blactter
PasseTby (to beggar)-I have given you
FIVE pfennigs: you might at least say
Thank you.
Beggar-What? Ne a deaf-and-dumb
man and begin to speak for a paltry five
pfennigs.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
ONE OF AES0P'S FABLES.
How Servant of King saved Lives OF
Other Subjects.

From an Exchange.
\ certain king OF a foreign country had
in his possession twenty rare vases.
which he was proud f. He made "A law
that amy person happening TO break any
of them would be instantly put to death.
It happened that oae OF his servants
accidentally broke one. and he was inn
mediateiy put under sentence Of death.
Before being taken away he turned round
and broke the other nineteen
To the kings astonishment the Door
servant exclaimed, I am being put TO
death for breaking one, so I might as
well save the lives of my countrynen by
breaking the other nineteen.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
The Old, ola story.

From the London Telegraph.
And I am the very first you have
loved, Bertha?"
'Of course you are. How tedious you
men are. You al ask me the same ques-
ton"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05

tltM juu9s
Mrs. wiggs-CoOk has only broken one
dish to-day, dearl
Mr. Wiggs-That's better! How did it
happen?
Mrs. Wiggs-It was the last onel
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05

tT0m TICK Me-In
What's the matter with Titeman's
face?'
"A friend gave him safety razor and
told him that every time he shaved
nod save thTeepence; he's been shaving
himself night and day ever since"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
Landlord and Tenant.

From Puck.
Tenant-Look here. that house I took
from you is extremely damp
House agent (blandly)-WeH don't YOU
see the great advantage Of that? II il
gets on FIRE Il won't burn"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
Logical.
From Pick-Ale-Un.

From Pick-Me-Up
"IIl give you a copper if you will tell
me how it is you are losing your hair"
Worry.
what do you worry about?"
About losing nay hair"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
For His Health.

From judy.
Ever been in Siberia" asked the re-
porter.
"Er-yes." answered the distinguished
refugee; I took a knouting there one
summer"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
A Natural Query.

From Punch.
Judge-What age did you say. madam?
Witness-Twenty-seve
Judge-Ah yes. In what year was
your last birthday?
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
Ever ThuS

Knicker-ChiIdren are so dlsappointing
Bocker-Yes. Johnny broke his inde-
structible toy and won't break his drum.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-05

Prom Sketchy Bits.
First Little Girl-WAen you grow up
are you going to advertise for a husband? :?
Second Little Girl-NO. I'm going 10
be a widow. They don't have to!
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-25

William Sherman, of Kansas City,
has been visiting at the J. w. Cannon
home this week.
G. K Hallock, Frank Jenkins, Ed
Louis, J. G.. Hardman, Niels and Geo.
Hoegh went to Audubon, Saturday,
as delegates to the convention.
Douglas II amlin, of Burwell Nebras-
ka, was in Brayton, Monday, calling
on old time friends.
Roscoe Clark, of Maxville, Iowa,
passed several days last week with his
Brayton friends.
Mrs. John Cotton and daughter,
Marie, of Council Bluffs, arrived in
Brayton last week for visit with rel
atives and friends.
Soren Anderson, wife and two child.
rem went to Stuart, Monday, to visit
their son.
Mrs. T. J. McGovern has been in
Lorah the past few days visiting atthe
Bopp home. -
Sam Kester and wife, from Valley
Junction, were guests of her brother,
Charles Bison, and family the greater
part of the past week.
Muriel KoOb returned home Sunday
from Anita where she had been visit
ing relatives the past few weeks.
Mrs. Jack Clark visited couple of
days last week at the Beltz home in
Atlantic.
Mary Curry visited over Sunday
with Mary Powell, at Extra.
Hans Nymand transacted business
in the county seat last week.
Richard Powers had business call
ing him to Des MOines, Saturday.
George Arnold made business trip
to Atlantic, Friday.
James Barhan returned from York,
Nebr., Tuesday, accompanied by his
sister, H. L. Litman and her son and
daughter.
F. M. Alexander of South Dakota
arrived in Braytnn, Tuesday, and
will pass a few days at the Q. F. Ide
home.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-25
Bethel Breezes Blow

j. NJ. Edwards and family were Sun
day visitors with OFT Finch and wife
Katie Foley arrived home Saturday
from Omaha where she has been at
tending school.
Earl Edwards spent Sunday with his
friend, Ben Emery.
Bessie Turner spent few days Of
last week with her cousin, Miss Haze
Northup, at Ross.
The Misses Efiie and Bessie Edwards
and Messrs. Walter Estes and John
Sampson and Ralph Miller and fami'
ly we're entertained Sunday at Cleaye
Bamsey's home.
Preaching nextSabbath morning by
Rev. Reed.
Bertha Edwards was guest last
week ofMable Brockway, at Audubon.
Edith Weston and Mary Duvall
were Sunday visitors with their friend
Hulda Johnson.
Earl Turner, accompanied by his
friend, Philip Foley, spent Sunday
with his parents.
Mrs. Nels Olsen, of Ross, spent a
few days this week with her daughter,
Mrs. Cleave Bamsey.
Louis Weston spent Sunday with
his friend, Glenn Turner.
Efiie and Bessie Turner left Tues
day for Omaha to visit their cousin,
Fred Smith, and wife. They expect
to return by way OF Manila and visit
their friends, Eula and Amy Emery,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-25
Obituary of John M. Greenlee.

John M. Greenlee was born In We
mango county, Pennsylvania, October
10, 1926, and died at the home of his
daughter, Mrs. w. A. CIaIw, in Audi
bon county, Iowa, June IL, 1908, aged
81 years, s months and day.
On January 4, l849, he was united in
marriage to Mary Mills, with whom
he lived until last January, when Mrs,
Greenlee was removed TO her home on
high, after some years of patient suf.
consin where he resided until 1866
when he moved with mis- family to Iowa
where for twen5y-fOur years he has
lived in Audubon county,
To Mr.. and Mrs. Greenlee were born
nine children of whom only FIVE are
living. They are: Mrs. w. A. Clark
Of Audubon county, Mills Greeniee OF
Wheatland, Wyoming; Oliver Green
lee of Pottawattamie county; John
Greenlee of Audubon county; Elmer
Greenlee of Guthrie county. Besides
his sons and daughter, he is survived
by two brothers, three sisters, thirty
three grand children and nine great
grand children.
When but child he became a chris
tian and united with the Methodist
Episcopal church, ia which he has
lived a faithful christian life. His
constant endeaVor was TO honor his
Master, and consequently his long life
has been one of earnest aud cOnsis-
tent living. TO pray and read the
Holy Word, were his greatest pleasure.
He was a devoted husband, and low
ing father. Those VINO knew MIN best,
knew we'll that ne took great pleasure
in seeking to make others happy and
hence he was ever willing TO deny
himself many things for their comfort.
Then too, his life was one of uSefull-
ness in his home, in his county and ia
his church. He was strong man in
character; and physically his strength
was such that he was only confined TO
his bed little over week. His last
words were feeble but they were words
of prayer and faith. He has gone
from US on earth, but he has gone to
join the triumphant hosts above where
prayer and faith have turned TO praise
and sight.
The funeral services were held on
Saturday morning at the NJ. Z. church
in Audubon conducted by the pastor,
Rev. p. V. d. Vedder, aud the remains
were inferred in Maple Grove cemetery
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-25
BraytOn And Oakfield

The program for the Chautauqus
has been planned so as to Interest
the children as we'll as the grown up
A certain amount of time will be giver
up each morning to the Seton Indian
work for the children.
Among the many interesting features
of the Audubon Chautauqua this year
will be the lecture ''Our Heritage" de-
e. Will and which will be especially
pleasing to those interested in preser-
wing our forests.
Clyde Bowen of Anita came to Bray
ton, Tuesday to spend few days with
his parents.
Holt Cotton and wife of Lewis are WIS.,
iting this week at the O. F. Ide home.
Arthur Cannon, George and Elsie
Clark, of Orient, came to Brayton,
Tuesday, to visit friends few days
and to attend the Clark Huyck we'd
ding at Extra, Wednesday.
]. G.. Hardman was attending to bus
mess matters in Atlantic, Tuesday.
Soren Nelson went to Omaha, Tues
day night on business.
Perry Hallock returned from his
western trip last week.
]. F. Jensen and wife went to Kim
ballton, Tuesday. by way of Atlantic
to be present at the Nymond-- Nelson
wedding which takas phase there We'd
nesday.
Lottie Chamberlain was in Anita last
week the guest of friends.
Charles May and John Lohner, of
Extra, were in Brayton on business
Monday.
Don't forget the dates of the Audu-
bon Chautauqua, July q to %, 1908.
Mrs. Roy Myers and daughter Hell
en-, of Denver, Colorado. are visiting
her sister, Mrs. w. r. Koob.
Sam Harm, of Extra, was a business
visitor in Brayton, Monday.
Rayme Miller and wife attended the
ball game in Atlantic, Sunday.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-25
Letter From Canada o

| WARNER, CANADA, JUNE Is, 1908.
| DEAR Mr.. Notwithstanding to
promise | will write you few lines.
Ga the evening of June Eight our visit
with my two sisters at Dunlap, Iowa,
came TO an end so we bid them good
boe and started on our long trip for
Sunny Southern Alberta. II was with
reluctance that we parted with those
sisters and the many warm friends at
Audubon, but feel certain the climate
here will be a great help to us. My
wife, so far, is delighted with the eli
mate. We took the train at Dunlap
and reached Minneapolis at eight the
| next morning, then took another one
about eleven O'Clock, with the 0. w.
Kerr Company's men and lot of land
| seekers. They had d tourist car and
! treated us just fine and on account of
our age they called us the kids. We
reached Lethbridge sometime before
daylight the morning of the Eleventh.
They spent the day there looking over
some fine land they have in this vicin-
ity. The next day the car went on TO
Warner, so at two that afternoon our
trip was ended and we found well
come home with Brother Conner until
we can make a shift for ourselves. On
Sunday forenoon services were held
in the unfinished Evangelical church
and after taking dinner with Brother
Conner he hitched up tohis two-seated
carriage and went TO his appointment
twelve miles out in the country. The
day was very pleasant, the roads good
and we passed over d lot Of as good
land as ever saw. They held service
at private house, had good sized
audience for this'country and If ever |
saw lot of people who seemed to en-
| Joy salvation | did that day; and when
| asked them how they liked the coun-
try they said they liked il just fine and
seemed to be perfectly happy and con-
tented. We came back for the even
ing service at Warner, which began at
eight, but while we were in the begin
ming part the sun was shining bright
~ here. AT Audubon IL was dark and
the churches had dismissed. The next
service in the country will be held in
the house on the land tina. | now own.
| will say as for climate and investing
money in land feel certain have bet
tered myself, but will say to my many
friends come and see for yourselves.
In coming from Lathbridge to War
ner You can plainly see the Rockies,
and we can see Sweet Grass Noun
tain ia Montana from here in Warner
often think of the many friends I left
behind and hope to see some of them
out here. Yours, Etc.
CHARLES KIBLER.
p. Snow will say to my Audi
bon friends there are some of them
laboring under delusion, this is no
desert country as we have had album
dance of rain and crops are looking
fine; and there has been plenty of rain
for the past seven years. G.. K,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-25

Ralph Goodman and wife returned
to their home at Anita, Monday, after
a pleasant visit at Hotel Beers.
5 The following rural graduates went
to Audubon Saturday, to attend the
rural graduating exercises. Krestense
Andersen, Russell Dimick, Sarah Sor-
enson, Lydia Blom, Hazel Hardman
Leona Gearhart and Hans Hansen.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-25
New Train Service Between Pierre and
the Black Hills. Pullman Sleeping
Cars Between Huron and Rap
i'd City

Effective May 18th, the train service
via the Chicago e. North Western and
the Pierre, Rapid City & Northwest
ern will be greatly improved. A new
train will be inaugurated between
Pierre and Rapid City on this date,
with Pullman sleeping cars betwee n
Huron and Rapid City, leaves Huron,
west bound, 9:20 pm, except Sunday;
Pierre lilo am, excerpt Monday; ar
irving Rapid City 1888 am. East
bound, leave Rapid City 1888 p M, ex'
cept Saturday; arrive Pierre 300 a. M,
except Sunday; Huron $40 am.
Direct connection at Huron with The
Nortb-W estern Line from Iowa points
and at Rapid City with trains to and
from Deadwood, Lead and Belle
Fourche.
Trains Nos. sol and 504 continue on
present schedule daily, except Sunday,
thus providing two trains per day in
each direction between Pierre and the
Black Hills.
Schedules, tickets and information
on application to Ticket Agents, The
North W estern Line. 22e
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-25
Low Round Trip Rates TO Denver, Colo.
RADIO Springs and Pueblo Via The
Chicago, Union Pacific &
North Western Inc

On sale daily June lst to September
Both. Return limit October 3Ist. Two
fast through trains to Colorado daily.
The famous Colorado SPECIAL, only
one night to Denver. For booklet.
and full Information, apply to any
ticket agent Of the North Western
Line 214
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-25
Low Rates to Pacific Coast Via Chicago
Union Pacific & North Western Iiue.

Very low rates for the round trip,
to San Francisco, Los Angeles.
Portland, Tacoma, Seattle and North
Pacific Coast points, daily, June lstto
September 10Th. Liberal return limits,
variable routes, favora bic stop--over
arrangements. Apply to any ticket
agent, The North Western Line, for
full particulars. 25t
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-25

q
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1908-08-08
FILL:
TEST SUITS

Shawnee. Okla. Aug S.--Attorneys
Thomas Owen, of Muskogee; e. p.
Blakeney. of Shawnee. and II. X.
Rogers, of Wewoka, have been EN-
ployed by the Seminole Protective
league TO file II suits in the United
States court of the eastern district
OF Oklahoma at Muskogee for the
purpose of testing. on behalf of the
purchasers Of lands in the former
Seminole nation, the titles to their
lands Pending the determination of
these suits Judge j. II Shepperd OF
Washington, who represents the Unit
ed States government in the settle
ment Of Indian titles, probably will
bring no action against the land ow.
ners OF the Seminole nation.
The Seminole Protective league Is
composed of about 1000 members, all
Of whom reside in Seminole county
and occupy Seminole lands. A com.
mittee of the league met here ard
acted for the organization. The at.
torneys were paid $1,000 in cash In
advance for their services. A system
II taxation has been adopted whereby
the league creates the necessary funas
for conducting It's projects. Meetings
are to hereafter be held weekly in
Shawnee
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1908-08-08
BIF FILING FEE IS RECORDED

BY the issue of articles of incorpora-
tion TO the Appleton Publishing com
pany Of New York the secretary of
state received $2,253, one of the larg.
est filing fees on record. The Apple
ton is one of the school book concerns
that were awarded contracts by the
state text book commission and, under
the law, a state charter must be Sc
cured The law passed by the First
legislature provides a filing fee OF
one per cent OF the capital stock OF
the corporation and the So is the no
tHry fee
Nearly all OF the concerns have
taken out papers Of incorporation. A
few took advantage Of the old law,
under which the percentage of fees
was insignificant.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1908-08-08
GIRL SPRINGS
BIBLE RECORD

Special to Daily Leader.
iMcAlester. Okla. Aug. S.-Maud
Muller is rs years old now, according
20 her positive declarations. and tc
prove ii to county clerk before
whom she and her sweetheart appear
I'd Tor a license she produced family
bible that she claimed to nave brought
rom her home in Lawton. The clerk
had already received instructions
from H. J Muller. the obiecting faith
err aot to .ssne the license and a sec
1nd mess@ge saii thar the bible rec
ord produced was not genuine. ''Taen
80 TO thp records OF the Catholic
churca in Fort Smith and iinn the
Tatc when was christanAis arsued
the girl, and yol win find that ] an
right
But the clerk persisted In his re
tisal and Maud Mailer and Gus Alb
hnit the lover. are awaiting the ar
rival Of the irase father, who says he
will "see anout It, when he comes.