, 1908-05-20
AS OTHERS
MIGHT SEE US
A FOOTBALL GAME VIEWED
BY A MARIAN PROFESSOR
~ q. e. kISER
~ Q. {. KIsER

The Marian astronomer stepped
forward with an expectant thrill. He
vas about to take his first peep
through the newly perfected telescope
at he Garth. For many years the
work on this wonderful instrument
had been prosecuted. 1t was, at last,
to enable the people of the red
planet to learn just what kind OF
beings inhabited the interesting
sphere which they had SO long
been studying. Telescopes which had
served to bring the earth to within
an apparent distance Of 200 miles of
their " globe had long been In use
by the Marian astronomers, but now
they were to be able to see thei
neighbor at an advantage which they
had eve previously enjoyed. The
new instrument was SO powerful that
the observer gazing through it would
see the earth as plainly as If 1t had
had actually been within hailing dis
lance.
Trembling with expectancy Prof.
Bzu1kftsnbqm adjusted the wonderful
instrument and looked. The scientists
who had gathered about him held
their breath and waited.
"Ah!" exclaimed the professor. "At
last I am able to actually see the peo-
pie who inhabit our sister planet. 1
am awed. They appear to be very
near-so near that / "a plainly see
them moving about. They are-bless
INV soul -th4v 40 lraufr0 naororf II
must be that my eyes are becoming
accustomed to the instrument. Yes,
that accounts for it. I can see them
very plainly now. They seem to be
only a few yards away. 1t is wonder
ful-wonderful!"
What kind of looking people are
they?" asked M OF the excited
scientists.
"a most curious looking people. And
their actions are very ridiculous. They
have arms and legs, as we have, and
they do not wear their heads upside
down, as some Of us have previously
supposed. No, their heads are right
side up-but such curious looking
heads! Their faces are astonishingly
ugly. They have noses of enormous
size-horribly shaped noses Of a dull
leaden color. / regret to have to re-
port that they bear little resemblance
to us. They are human beings, un-
doubtedly, but they are In a very
early stage of development, or 1t
would be better. perhaps, to say in an
advanced stage of degeneracy. They
possess non of the God-like attributes
with which we ourselves are endowed.
Grace, as we know 1t, is absolutely
lacking in them. They have horrible
noses, az l have said. The proboscis
of each Of them seems to cover the
larger part Of the face, extending from
the hair line upon the rudimentary
forehead clear down to where the
chin should be, and spreading out in
revolving dimensions. Their bodies,
too, are badly disproportioned. There
are great punches at the joints on
their arms and legs, and altogether
they are about as unattractivs In ap-
pearance as could be imagined"
The scientists who had gathered
around to hear the professors report
were %grievously disappointed. The
telescopes which had previously been
in use had enabled them to discover
upon their sister planet evidence OF
vast enterprises that were apparently
the results of human endeavor, and
they had pictured mundane man as a
creature nearly approaching them
selves in physical appearance and
mental endowments. Naturally the
sudden demolition of their theory
came as a shock. Still, they hoped
that the professor might have formed
a hasty conclusion.
The scientists looked at one an
other and shook their heads. A great
disappointment had come to them. At
last one of them, more hopeful than
the rest. said:
Perhaps 1t Ia unfair to Judge the
people of the earth by their appear
ance alone. What are they doing, pro
fessor? We must remember that &C.
lions better indicate than mere looks
do the characteristics Of people as
well as of other animate things"
Il am afraid" the astronomer re-
piled as he continued his observations,
that little satisfaction is to be de-
rived from a study Of the actions of
our earthly fellow mel. / can see
perhaps 20 of them. They are in an
Enclosure and appear to be, engaged
in a terrible battle. They are horribly
dirty and are fiercely attacking ons
another, apparently to gain possession
OF a small oval object which must be
something they desire to eat. THERE
One OF them has just secured posses
sion of it, and all the others are
bouncing upon him, with the evident
intention of tearing him to pieces
They are clawing and striking and
kicking. 1t is awful. Blood Is stream
ing down the fronts Of two of them
They are all struggling in a conglom-
crate mass, and-oh! Horriblei Hor.
rlble! One of them has just torn the
nose completely from another's face.
1t is too %sickening to be described.
Gentlemen, look for yourselves II you
care to. l have no desire to see more"
But his fellow. scientists had no wish
to behold the slaughter. Sad at heart
they turned away, and in the next
number of the Scientific Marian Prof
Bzujkftsnbqm described in an interest
ing amer what he had geen through