Willmar tribune. [volume] (Willmar, Minn.) 1895-1931, 1908-08-05
"SOCTETY'' is ALARMED.

According to press dispatches,
there is deep CONSERVATION in the
social world at Washington, D. c.,
and all the society danes, dudes
and dudines are sweating blood in
their anguish. The cause Of this
,husness is the possibility of
Bryan's election and his filling the
offices in the capital city with west
ern men. While the men from the
west may be fully able to attend to
their official duties as understood
out here, the East is positively Ger
tain that they could never fill the
higher obligations laid upon WASH
ington officials by society," name
ly, leading cotillions, attending re-
ceptions and dinners, playing ten
MS, golf, bridge, etc. Undoubted-
~ the report that a western state
has nominated for governor a man
who eats pie with knife has
strengthened the general belief IL
| the east that western men are only
fit for work, and would play havoc
in society. The qualifications for
official position in Washington, ac-
cording to the ''society - are as
follows:
First-Wealth enough to be able
to make big sylurge. it being
we'll known that cabinet officials
and offers high on the social scale
spend their entire salary for house
rent and have to rely on some other
source for all other expenses.
Second--Ability to go thru a
course dinner without once using
the wrong utensil; a complete know
ledge of the exact time when a
frock coat becomes improper to ap-
pear with in company, and a deter
mination that would enable him to
cheerfulIy freeze to death in the
street rather than go into any per-
sons house unless clothed in the
proper suit for that particular time
Of the day; a working knowle dye Of
the various amusements Of society !;
q strong determination never to let
! his official duties Interfere with his
social duties.
In New York ancestry cuts quite
a figure, it being established be-
yond controversy that a fur trader s
Or trapper's fortune must pass thru
three generations before the smell!
of the pelts is absolutely removed
and the possessors Of the said for
tune can claim to be stars Of the
first magnitude in the social firna-
ment. # the money has been OBJ
tanned by watering railroad stock
Or by some other respectable sWind-
ling operation, the second genera
ton is considered in full member
ship among the highest grade-pro-
vided Of course that the swindle
was big enough. In Washington,
however, ancestry is regulated to
the rear, rank in the government
positions taking it's place. There
fore, if man has been successful
in getting a high position and can
pass satisfactory examination in
the foregoing requirements he is
welcomed as a nobleman in the
Goldfish aristOcracy of the capital.
1t would indeed be q horrible
catastrophe if man from the wild
and wooily west should disturb this
society," by bringing in men Sc
lected more for their fitness for the
work demanded from them by the
government than for ability to
shine in parlor. Of course, we in
the west know that Mr.. Bryan is
g gentleman in the best sense Of the
word, and that he is good sample
Of the leading men Of the west, the
kind that he would be likely to
bring with him to Washington.
But there is q vast difference be-
tween an ordinary gentleman and a
Society snob. A gentleman is
polite everywhere and to all people
a snob pays attention only to those
whom he considers in his "set. -
A gentleman attends to social obi
cations as a side issue; a snob
makes a business of them and treats
his work, if he has any, as a neces-
sary aflliction. 1t would be refresh
ing to see the snobocracy of Wash
ington given a little shock by the
introduction Of officials who are
gentlemen without making it their
occupation.