Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-20
FREAK STATUTES OF THE YEAR
budding Lawmakers Imbued with
Noble Ideas for UpIift of


Mankind.
Now Is the accepted time for embryo
law makers to whip into shape for action
at the approaching sessions of legislatures
such measures as they deem necessary
for public ills. Many freak proposals will
be made and some nodded into statutes
at some of the legislative foundries sched-
uled to begin business in January. Legisla-
tive freaks were unusually numerous this
year, because Oklahoma had considerable
cloth to cut for the baby state, and the
cutters kept busy from start to finish.
The new state has enacted that hotels
must supply their guests with bed sheets
not less than nine feet in length, but Texas
blazed the way in this far-reaching reform.
Oklahoma Legislators descended upon
their capital with a large assortment of
ideas for the betterment of the human race
equally as unique, but they took most of
them back home again. 1t was an Oklahoma
man who regarded the cigar store Indian
as a SANDER upon the real redskins among
his constituents and who wished to Danish
it from the traditional post Of honor at
tobacco shops. but the cigar store Indian
still holds forth in Oklahoma as well as
it is for a far different reason than that
HS N"S NANNN'SS 80 eHN NNoAAP SS Wv"
makers.
Another Oklahoma solon wished TO pro-
hIbit the use of cracked crockery on the
table, another to make 1t an offence to use
a roller towel more than two days, another
& compel railroads to dlsinfect their rail-
road tickets, another to prohibit passengers
on street cars from crossing legs when
they have mud on their feet and another
to compel householders. to beat rugs and
carpets outside of the corporate limits of
any town.
There was even one lawmaker who sought
to compel husbands to cook breakfast en-
Sunday mornings in order that their wives
might go to church, and one who desired
that six successive visits by a young man
to the home of a young lady should be re-
garded as evidence Of an engagement to
marry. But, alas! Oklahoma rejected this
utopian program and snugly snoozing under
It's nine foot bed sheets, 1t sleeps on, while
there are many sores on the body polite
to be healed.
1t woke up for a few minutes to pass a
law that required every complimentary no.
tice concerning a candidate that is printed
in a newspaper to be labelled Advertise
ing in ten point type, but the Oklahoma
editor still has a legal, II not moral right.
90 lAG LII NAoSu THAI NAC SANA1t uOt9
not commit the indiscretion of running for
office.
Those who rejected the plan Of decreasing
inebrlety went upon the theory that it was
unwise to acquire a reputation for bravery.
Maryland did, however, make it unlawful
to serve free lunches in beverage empori-
ums.
The Virginia legislator who tried to out
law kissing several years ago has had no
imitators recently, but in Louisiana the
man who comes late to the theater has
been regarded as a proper subject for leg
~islative consideration and possible classi-
fication among the malefactors.
Many states have been supplied with laws
that mitigate the terrors of the merry
Widow hat, but these laws are not of this
years vintage, and that ubiquitous vexa-
ton probably arrived too late to cause any
increased activity on the part of the legis-
lative grist mill. Since women have ceased
to sweep the streets with long skirts sar-
torial eccentricities have given very little
concern to ambitious publicists.
II II is difficult for members of state leg
islatures to have their beautiful dreams
for regulating the universe assume shape,
It is well-nigh impossible for a member of
congress to achieve the same object. Very
little legislation, either wise OF otherWise'
got by Uncle joe" the boss Of the big
law-making factory in Washington, at the
last session. Nevertheless the difficulties
that beset him did not dampen the ardor
of the man who had a little bill intended
to make life more seraphic.
First and foremost there was j. Hampton
Moore, with his plan for licensing the
Iaundries and forbidding them to use any
acids or machinery calculated to injure the
delicate fabric OF the dress shirt, which is
an object Of tender solicltude on the part
of the Pennsylvania.
No one has disputed the laudable motives
that minated the manly bosom of Mr.,
Moore, and If he could accomplish the pur-
pose he seeks his name would be written
large in the hall of fame, but all save he
appear to have the idea that a child that
desires to have the moon for a plaything
expects nothing more extraordinary thar
the man who hopes to curb the ferocity OF
laundry machinery.
Representative Charles McGavin deplored
the numerous international matches tina
had led daughters Of American millionaires
to take their dollars abroad in exchange for
a title, and he did not stop at deploring
He prepared a little bill to impose a heavy
tax on the dover OF all brides who desert
their native land. but the bin still decor
ates a convenient pigeonhole in the ma
a.