Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-14
CLEAR, CRISP AND CLEAN
AWFUL COMMANDMENT!

IN EVEN little Japanese and a little
gun with which they were making
~ little noises at Point Duma have
struck terror to the hearts of the pa
triots who are living in vociferous ex-
pectation of the dawn of dread day
when the Pacific coast will be rushed
by the invincible brown warriors and
the white mans burden will be imposed
upon him by a taskmaster of the mi
kado. The men with the gun were en-
gagged in making "warlike expert
ments" They were loading, aiming
and firing" The United States navy
win soon occupy the very range Of
their practice.
Therefore the seven Japs and the
midget cannon were probably making
preparations to strike the first blow
in the great racial struggle which is
to convulse humanity and to lay the
Pacific coast open to the yellow peril,
which it has kept at bay by eternal
vigilance during many years!
The greatest excitement followed
the discovery of the japanese one-gun
battery. First a Mexican "came upon
the foreigners unexpectedly" The
Mexican Immediately turned a somer-
sault, landed on his ear and pirouetted
frantically on it's apex for several gy-
rations before he settled down.
With his heart palpitating fiercely,
this Mexican then ran wildly to and
fro, but, having made up his mind that
"a ha dnra
If the American continent was to be
saved, he ,hastened to the residence of
a Santa Monica capitalist and asked
him to communicate with the authori-
ties. Some one communicated with
the Jingoites instead, and they rose to
the occasion with hoarse howls of hor-
ror. Then came the information that
the Japs, when they were not firing
their little gun seward, were making
maps of the cliffs that hem the cres-
cent-shaped bay.
If the map-making Japanese had
only known 1t. they could have pro-
cured from the photographic bureau
or the coast survey or from any one Of
perhaps a half dozen places where
typographical coast records are made
and kept, accurate governmental maps
for 10 cents. But there they were, as
busy as only Japs can get when they get
busy. drawing maps of the coast for
now and then, with a dreadful report,
fully as loud as that of a Fourth of
July cracker. they fired the gun.
The capitalist and the Mexican lay
in ambush and anxiously awaited de-
veiopments. They were just making
up their minds to charge for the gun
and capture it, in fact their minds
were almost made up, and to the his
tory of heroic deeds the record of an
other, even "heroicker," was to be
added, when the Japs. evidently aware
that they were being watched, lost
heart, tucked their cannon under their
arm-or one of them did-and, having
boarded a car without resistance. they
returned to Los Angeles-back to their
Kitchens end stables.
Every war produces new heroes. but
II takes good, healthy, muscular. un-
daunted and robust war scare to de-
yelop the latent hero in the mere man,
and show that he is worthy to wear
the red badge Of courage. Congress
will be asked to award leather medals
to the heroes of the bombardment of
Santa Monica bay. who hope that their
efforts will be appreciated and are
highly indignant at the suggestion that
the Japs mean to fire salute In honor
of Bob Evans and his company when
their saucy ships come bounding DER
the pillows. and that they were merely
practicing for that praiseworthy and
pacific purpose.