Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-11

d UP A LITTLE PERCH"
client. No. never saw him. but I've
still got the ring"
A Sure Thing Girl.
A ND there are other stories which tend
to prove the truth of the old axiom.
Things are not always what they seem"
Sometimes, however. the final chapter of
an incident turns out In such fashion
that one instinctively quotes Bernard
Shaw and murmurs You never can tell.
Here Is such a one:
IAN experience which I hated to think
about for many years. and the recoiiec-
ton of which still makes me shudder.
although from a totally different reason,
happened to me when I was about nine
teen years DID," said a representative
from Georgia.
puppy days. and 1t had to do with the
eternal feminine. Down in the little town
where I was born there was girl. pretty
and seemingly the most industrious and
sweetest tempered little thing you ever
did see. Seemed like she was born happy
and smiling. and every boy in town was
head over heels in love with her. l
reckon had 1t about as bad II not worse
than any of them. and. since lived IN
the house next to hers, I was able to sit
out the rest Of her company and get In
a little private talk nearly every night.
TT seemed to me that I was making
great progress, and began to figure on
how soon I'd be able to support q Wife IN
the way I wanted to.
lone night I screwed up my courage
and actually popped the question DID
she refuse me? She most assuredly old
not. She accepted me then and there
but, Of course, 1t was all very indefinite.
and she warned me that II told any one
about our being engaged she would break
it off at once.
You may believe that for taciturnity I
ing descended to the dining room to find
my family talking about my f1ance's
elopement with a fellow that never even
imagined to have a chance. didn't be-
lieve it at first. but 1t was true: She mad
met him, and they had gone off together
less than an hour after I had left her the
night before When learned the details
I then and there resolved to be woman
hater for the rest of my life. Yes. Sir, l
never expected to get over 1t. never.
"Oh, I've been married twelve years
now-Ive got the finest little woman in
Georgia or any other state. but I still
shudder when I think of that first AFFAIR
of mine. Why? Because she turned out
pered and bossiest woman you ever saw:
It wasn't three weeks before her husband
was afraid to call his soul his own. Also
she had been engaged to the fellow she
was engaged to nearly every fellow that
went with her. She accepted them all.
and, by exacting promise to keep 1t
secret had every one OF us thinking that
turned out I'm mighty glad 1 wasn't the
victim
Smuggling the Spurious.
Toes evil render its own reward? Read
II this and see.
If you have ever been abroad you have
probably been tempted on your return to
evade the customs duty on some article
that you brought back with you. Proba-
bly, you resisted the impulse. but there is
one man in Washington who did not-and
who has been sorry ever since.
1t happened two years ago. The man
and his wife had spent the month of
June In Europe. and while there the lady
purchased a fur coat at what she con-
sidered a great bargain.
On the return trip to this country she
decided that the government had no right
to impose duty on that coat, and that she
would therefore smuggle 1t In She made
known her decision to her husband, at
the same time unfolding a plan whereby
he was to wait until the day they landed.
then put the coat on, with his clothes
over 1t, and go ashore.
At first he demurred, but finally yielded.
and when they entered New York harbor
the morning OF TIE L ourel VI jury nc re-
tired to his state room and donned the
heavy garment.
1t was IA fearfully hot day. and before
half an hour had passed the smuggler was
sorry. His wife would not hear Of a
change Of plans, however. and there be-
ing some delay in the landing, he was
forced to undergo tortures for nearly five
hours. When they finally crossed the
gang plank and stepped on dry land he
did not care whether he had to pay duty
or go to jail for an attempt to defraud.
He was interested in but one thing. and
that one was getting rid of the coat
He passed. undecided however. and
ten seconds later was in a cab. Offering
the driver triple fare to violate the speed
laws en- route to the nearest hotel.
Once arrived, he hurried to his room and
began peeling of his clothes. coming
moved, but horrors!
His wife had been swindled; she had
been sold imitation fur. and the hair.
loosened by perspiration. had come OF In
great quantities. and stuck to her hus-
bands body. The latter had undergone
his suffering. only to lose the coat for
thenceforth 1t was absolutely useless.
1t would now be hard to find any one
more severe in his denunciation of foreign
shopkeepers or more vigorous in his up
general, and those relating to the customs
service in particular.
Judge Didn't Know the Law.
COUR genial gentlemen, two Of them
I pro inent lawyers. one a District Of
fetal and the other business man. were
seated in the reading room OF the Cosmos
Club the other evening discussing the
various phases Of the dire myth known as
hard luck" All Of them admitted that
at least once during their lives they had