davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17
Thar WnnIdn,t M

From the Rochester Union.
The New York Sun speaks Of one OF the
Republican Candidates for Vice President
as being Unnecessarily intelligent"
But suppose he should happen to become
PRESIDENT
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17
Human Nafnre.

Take the case Of the fellow IN the next
block. You have always considered him
uppish. He has considered you uppish-
one day you are introduced. and then
each OF you discovers the other 20 be a
Pretty Good Sort
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

"Biackie," "the wealthiest cat in the
world" Is dead. AS this is positively
'Blackie's" first demise. however. It
would. perhaps, be well to wait a while
before dividing her estate.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

THE only way to cure the automobile
scorcher is to send him to Jail without a
fine says the Rochester Herald. That's
right; no use to fine him or roast" him.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17
After the NOMINATION.

MY boy" advised the Polonius with
chin whiskers. stand by the flag."
"Pll do 1t, dad"
And don't let the Offices 90 wholly
unprotected"
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

A member Of the BLACK Hand" tried
10 wake up the mayor of Philadelphia
recently OF course. he had to start with
omebody-begging the pardon of the
Photographers Union.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

A Sioux City man has filed a complaint
with the Treasury Department alleging
that eggs should be classed as poultry"
Evidently his particular supply Of eggs is
even worse than the cold-storage variety
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

A Pennsylvania man became very an
CRY because a Merry Widow hat brim
nearly put his eye out. This hat. like
bridges along canal-boat ways, ought to
be ducked
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

A candidate for Congress says he IA
vors more island possessions. We get
more every time We count the Philip
pines. What's the matter with that fell
low, ANYHOW?
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17
On watered stock.

From the Lorain Times-H Herald
That Brookklyn physician who asserts
that people can get crazy drunk on water
must have had good opportunities Of OBJ
serving the stock market
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17
So SoonR

The dear old road 10 Oyster Bay,
Alack. alas.
Is getting sadly choked. they say.
With grass.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17
GOSSIP OF THE CONVENTION.

full newspaper artist sprang at the Min
nesotan from behind a door
"Stung!" cried Adam.
mot So" quoth Congressman McKin-
ley, but you're going to be drawn, and
81 the reporters get you you VIII be quar-
tered"
It was dih1cult 10 get the lively one
from Minnesota TO sit still long enough
for the artist TO make a faithful repre-
sentation of his features.
You look like a man Of convictions" ="
said the artist when he had finished the
sketch.
II should say I do--a good many Of
EN-" aequieseed Adam, looking at the
sketch. which accentuated his close crop
ped head and scanned countenance.
A newspaper sketch artist was buslly
engaged in "mugging' Claude Watts. one
Of the Taft boosters, at the Annex to-day.
Every time he would get his victim into
what looked like a good position Watts
would move.
Would you mind standing STILL Mr.
Watts?" the sketch artist finally asked
in despair.
The reason I'm moving around" said
Watts. is that you are trying 10 make
PRONE picture OF the rlSnt siQe OF my
face. I prefer TO have you sketch the
left side"
''Why?' asked the artist
Because" explained Watts, I have
chew OF tobacco in my right cheek"
The absence Of whiskers among the
delegates does not augur well for the
candidates. Of Gov. Hughes and ex-
Gov. Franklin Murphy, Of New Jersey.
1t is going 10 be a smOOth-shaven con
vention. with the exception of a few
delegates from Iowa. who wear long
| luxuriant boards. Boards and editors
are numerous among the Iowa delegates
The luxuriant facial foliage so conspicu-
! GUS In former years at national conven-
tions is almost entirely missing now The
Hitchcocks the Voryses. the Harry News
and the other fellows bossing things are
smooth-shaven men.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

IF you have occasion 10 tell a man
just what you think Of him, use a long
distance telephone" advises the Chicago
News Why not "just don't do it?"
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

The American consul who writes OF the
Japanese yarn depression" would re-
wise his notes could he come over about
now and hear one or two Of Capt. Hob
sons Chautauqua lectures.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

In one part Of Africa. so a writer says,
wives may be purchased in the open
market at 50 each" Tie fails, however.
to give any market quotations on un-
married ladies.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

The greatest torpedo-boat destroyer IN
the world is time" says the Deseret
News. Yes; time and tide generally
work It's destruction. If some other tor
pedo-boat doesn't.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

some way can be devised amicabiy to set
tie the difference the outlook for the
American inventor Is a bit gloomy.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

The Taft boom just naturally swelled
and swelled until 1t got TO be as big as
he is.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

kindergarten with the Promise Of a Re-
ward Of Merit il he Did Well. George
Fell for II.
The Neighbors who Thought Well of
George Pulled all the Wires they could
and got George on the National Delega-
ton. When the Time came George and
the Other delegates journeyed 10 Chicago.
They Put Up at the Auditorium Annex.
George thought II a Fine Place for Farm
ers At First. That was Before George
Learned that Those who Came Late TO
the Lobby must Stand Up until their Legs
were Tired. That was because Politicians
who Came Earlier had all the Best Seats.
When George grew Very Tired Friend
asked him How He Liked Being a States
man.
Never Again" were the Words Of
George. L am going to the Ball Game,
where there May be a Place to Sit
Down"
Radiating smiles wherever he goes, Con-
gresham J. Adam Bede. of Minnesota,
is one Of the wits of the convention.
Adam is dron little man, who is cele-
brated for having made proposition in
Congress to 'sell the Philippine Islands
and buy Ireland, so we could raise our
own policemen" He goes around 10 the
various headquarters of candidates and
lets rhe managers pin on badges, Just 10
relieve any gathering gloom Then he
cracks a few jokes, picks a cigar from
an entertainers vest pocket. and goes or
20 radiate in another place
When the funny statesman entered the
Cannon headquarters the band struck UP
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

venile merchants. who offered all sorts Of
buttons and badges at any price the pur-
chaser was willing to pay.
An entire set Of favorite son buttons
could be procured for 10 cents, except the
more elaborate ones, which commanded
from TO 10 cents each.
The Cannon headquarters were the
Mecca Of thousands OF visitors. attracted
by the concert IN the balcony Of the Audi
torium Hotel.
While the band played. men, women.
and children focked to Uncle JOe's" re-
ception rooms. expecting TO shake hands
with the sage OF Danville.
Where's Uncle Joe?' was a question
asked a thousand times.
Here he Is. responded the manager Of
the badge department. as he extended a
medallion OF the Speaker and Presidential
aspIrant
why isn't he here. If he wants TO be
President"
IT'S against the rules" responded the
attendant, "for a candidate 10 come 10 the
convention. II isn't etiquette. Uncle Joe
will be here after he's nominated
Once there was Man named George
Adc who made an Humble Beginning as
a Writer. BY Hard Work and Constant
Industry he Rose to be the Proprietor Of
Farm In Indiana, his home State.
For Some Reason that George could not
Understand. he became Popular with the
Sheriff and the Coroner Of his County
He would go down 10 the Grocery Store
in the Village and Swap Stories with
them after the Evening Chores were done
The Sheriff and the Coroner would talk 10
him about Politics and read chapters
from Great Statesmen Of the Fifties.
They told George that the White House
Yawned for him. and that all he Needed
was a little Preparation. George said he
Didn't believe Them and Thought they
were Jollying him. But they Brought
Things To A Head by proposing that
George take a Course in the Political
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

ont in Nevada Miss Dollar Is 70
change her name by marrying a Mr.
Senntz. Small change. that
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

W. W. Cocks, President Roosevelts
Congressman. who probably has more
multi-millionaires in his district than any
other Congressman. is being mistaken for
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

Even the millennium Is coming after
the election and probably long time
after too
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

Senator Davis is. incidentally. a fine
for former Senator Berry.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

See the Conquering Hero Comes" and
Adam Immediately assumed that hs was
meant and went out to thank the band.
Congressman Mckinley pinued a Cannon
badge TO Adams coat lapel and & watch
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

a cowboy In order TO live UP to his
reputation as the Presidents Congress-
man and Official mouthpiece. Cocks has
bought gray cowboy hat, and he wears
a rough suit Of brown.
"An he needs 10 be a real hey rube'
are a few hayseeds in his hair" one OF
his Congressional colleagues said to-day.
Cocks is stopped every few minutes and
asked what is the latest from the White
House
Judge George H Williams, eighty-five
years old. inveterate smoker OF black
cigars and clipper as a lark. win second
the nomination Of william H. Taft for
the state OF Oregon. Mr. Williams, whose
home is at Portland, arrived in Chicago
yesterday.
He once was Attorney General OF the
United States. serving I'm the Cabinet of
President Grant. He was a Senator
way back IN the sos" and he at
tended the convention in Chicago which
nominated Abraham Lincoln. But IN all
these years his political enthusiasm has
not waned
IN his room at the Wellington Hotel
HIS eyes sparkled as he puffed a cigar
ard narrated first-hand history Of pioneer
politics in America.
He has not held public Office for many
years.
The man In public life who expects
nothing and gets nothing philosophical
Mr.. Williams. is usually happier than
the man who does expect something, for
the latter is too often disappointed
Il served the State OF Oregon for six
years in the Senate, and for four years
was Attorney General under President
Grant While In the Senate I worked !n-
cessanuy 10 promote the interests OF my
State There was an effort at that time
TO divert the course Of the Oregon and
| California Railroad, in process Of con-
struction. so that the roSd would not tar
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

WEDNESDAY. JUNE II. 1905.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

Il think that if there is one man who is
enjoying the Chicago convention TO
superlative degree. it is Charles P. Taft,
Of Cincinnati said Henry E Langhorn,
of that city, at the Shorehan, last night.
''Mr. Taft al home may necessarily be
somewhat OF a commander, not mixing
greatly with the newspaper men Of his
own city or letting down. so to speak,
while on duty. but IN the Windy City,
with the feeling which he very likely has
that Brother BIZ has the nomination
baled up and ready 70 take back 10 Ohio
with him, Brother Charles Is freer than
he ever has been before.
You can see him around the lobby OF
the Auditorium. or you could few days
ago, beaming on every one. allowing
photographers 10 take him in dozen
different ways, just being nice TO every
one in sight. and thinking about the
nomination Bill viii stow away all the
while. He surely looks like a happy
man, and acts as II he were willing that
every one in any way connected with
that convention should be happy. too"
The Washington herald., 1908-06-17

venile merchants. who offered all sorts OF
buttons and badges at any price the pur-
chaser was willing to pay.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-10-26
Public Land Lotteries

Lotteries have been suppressed in Louisiana but they are still conducted as occasion demands by the United States government On Monday of last week the government bestowed by the rule of chance upon 5175 in- dividuals the fertile Rosebud reser- vation in South Dakota, a territory larger than the state of Rhode Island The competitors numbered 0,000 and out of this number 5179 were se- lected in a lottery scheme that bears the sanction of three generations.
 Until available and desirable land became scarce the public domain was largely given away-given far down in the nineteenth century to all appli- cants-to railroads, to schools and colleges, to homesteaders, to all oth- CTS that had a public scheme. The settler will get all of the public land in the future. Actual settlement has taken the place of land joDbing.
 But it is question of whether the distribution of valuable tracts should not be done hereafter without the ele- ment of chance-whether bids con- fined to 160 acres would not be more just than the lottery scheme. How ever there are not many valuable tracts left to be disposed of. Wherever irrigation is applied the settler must pay a proportion of the expenses and the rush for farms is in that way regulated without difficulty. The Rosebud affair was a lottery scheme pure and simple and the lucky few are now engaged in disposing of their rights at handsome sums.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-10-26
No Slush Funds
sifable.

This presidential campaign will be notable for several things, chief among them being the comparatively small expenditure of money by the two great parties in the contest. MT Bryan's objection to the use of so- called tainted money" and his in sistence on small contributions only has resulted in a smaller democratic fund than usual. It has been ample, however, for all legitimate purposes and the democratic agitation for the publicity of campaign funds has had wholesome deterrent effect on re- publican contributions.
 The republicans have never gone through campaign with anything like the meagre fund that has been col lected this fall. They have raised more money than the democrats, no doubt, but from a "slush fund" point of view it is too small to avail the campaign managers in any attempt to purchase votes. Something then will have been gained for civic morals when it can be said that whoever is elected president a week from tomor- row will not reach the White House through the corrupt use of campaign money.
 It has been intimated that the re- publicans will, by some hook or crook, have a "bar1' on tap in the clos ing days of the contest, but they have hard work to find sinews of war sufficient for pressing demands, and as corporations as such cannot help it is too late now to collect millions, even if the trust beneficiaries were disposed indirectly to "come across"
 The days of slush funds are past and patriotic men should be thankful
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-10-26

persons in the canal zone has been decreased two-thirds.
 Colonel Gorgas has simply rendered the building of the canal feasible in the time named, namely, in six years He is watching the sanitation of the zone closely and no mosquito can live there in peace. If the mosquito can be driven out of the canal zone which is in the tropics, not far from the equator, where the sun shines hot the year round, it could be driven out of any other locality in this world. All observers agree that no mosquito can breed in the canal zone so thoroughly has 1t been drained and so excellent is it's water supply. The job of mak- ing strip ten miles wide and 45 miles long wholesome and insect-proof was a large one and it cost a great deal of money, but Colonel Gorgas skill and energy has rendered the in vestment highly profitable and de- sirable.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-10-26
GATES, BULLDOG IN BRONZE.

From the New York World.
 John ". Gates has immortalized his prize bulldog Blondy in enduring bronze. MT. Gates is very fond and proud of Blondy, which, by the way. is strangely named
 After MT. Gates learned that MT. Morses ice pool was not what it was cracked up to be, he went abroad, and Blondy went along. In Lucerne, Switzer- land. MT. Gates ordered to be cast in bronze "the very image of Blondy," but larger than life. Again returning from Europe recently MT. Gates brought the bulldogs heroic statue. It stands now directly before the door of MT. Gates apartment in the Hotel Plaza.
 In a dim light any one would mistake inc bronze for the brindle-unless he kicked it, which MT. Gates never does, Of course.
 The bronze dog stands-or rather sits, for it is in a sitting position-about three and half feet high. The statue is he- roic in another sense. One of Blondy' s forepaws rests on the body of a sense less child which seems to have escaped some great danger. The bulldogs face bears a pleased expression, as if it had rescued the hapless child from millrace or a Wall street whirlpool or something of that sort which kiddies and lambs should avoid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-10-26
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
From a Circus Viewpoint.

The Ringing Brothers circus en- tered the south this fall by the wa of Louisville.s said Guy F. Steely, press representative of the great show. We came through the Carolinas and Georgia. We were in Atlanta last week and on Saturday we exhibited in Anniston.
 Our southern business has been al- together satisfactory. We played to our capacity in Atlanta and will have big crowds here in Birmingham. In the spring the show exhibited in few. towns in Pennsylvania, but we found great depression in that state, owing to the panic. The business con- ditions throughout the country began 10 improve early in the summer and when We struck the northwest, We found in that section normal prosperity. The receipts of a big show make pretty good gauge for the business situation in any given community, and judging from the crowds that enter the big tent general trade must be inn proving steadily.
 The Ringland Brothers circus closes the season at Macon, Miss, November II. We usually pay off and wind up in a small town, and if possible dry town. There is naturally great deal of eomradeship among show peo- pie and when the time for parting comes there is a tendency to imbibe rather too freely. As a rule circus men are notably temperate. Most of the performers are total abstainers during the working season, but when the time for a winter holiday comes many of the workmen indulge in more good cheer than is wholesome. There fore We pick out the small town for our breakup Even if that small town licensed the sale of liquor, there would be only one or two saloons-not enough to go round very far for our army of wage workers. In other words the men could drink up all the liquor there might be in village and then not be very tipsy. But in a large city it is very different. The men will get all the whisky they want, no mat ter whether the city be called wet or dry. for no prohibition city of large class is ever entirely dry
 "The seating capacity of our tent is 11,000, and the receipts will aver age 65c per soul, counting men, wom- en and children. Hence a full tent at each of the two performances should total something like $15,OO0. That is about the business we will do in Bir- mingham. The circus is not a financial drain to a community, as some per sons think it is. In the first place the show people leave a great deal of money in each place, and the thous- ands of out-of-town folks spend good deal of money with the mer- chants.
 When we break up in Mississippi the animals and their keepers and the others whose services are needed all the year round are taken to Baraboo, Wis, where the Ringlings have hand some winter quarters
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-10-26
THE OPEN FIRE

The artist in burnt wood decoration who ! invisibly dwells in the fireplace embodies his imaginings in forms as diversified as the frost work on q window pane, from which the Belgian lace workers draw sug- gestons for their patterns. There is no end to the variety of writhing and wreathing forms in the smoke, of grin ming heads of gargoyles in the coals. If you look long enough you can easily im- agine yourself in the wonderland of a prehistoric forest with eyes of outlandish, unevolved monsters all around you. The skill of Luther Burbank, wizard of plant life. is rivaled-outtopped, indeed-by the artist in the glowing coals, who joins the head of lion to the body of whale, and puts the wings of an eagle on ser pent, against a background of cherubs' heads, as in an old Italian painting
 In building a fire, as in building character, it is all important that the foundations should be laid right. Since Prometheus, the fire burner first de- scended to earth with his celestial ac- quisition, the man who builds a fire has been surrounded by people who offer help ful suggestions as to how he might do better. Just as when one is carving a. duck one is hungrl1y supervised by all the company at table, so the fre-builder is the target of the advice of those who have the infallible recipe for doing it just right In flre-building as in modern life, you cannot very well do without the newspaper On that as the cornerstone of the foundation, with cunning art' the slender sticks and brushwood must be laid in eriss-eross or lattice-work ar- rangement log jam will not burn, and much time is wasted in trying to make a fire burn without interstices for the draught to catch the leaping flame and pull it through. Then, after the fire is built and nicely going, everybody wants to goad it on with tongs and poker, and so from the cradle to the grave it has jscore of solicitous if not officious caretakers and attendants. But it is not in the ineipient stages of it's con- struction, nor in it's middle age of blithe and brisk activity, that an open fire weaves it's magic spell most surely around those seated in the circle of it's mellow radiance. In it's "old age serene and bright and lovely as a Lapland night.y it's sorcery is most potent, it's power of calling up the vanished past most Irresistible. It is as it is with many peo- ple-youth and middle life. stressful and ternpest-tossed, are succeeded by latter days of late-howering efflorescence of beauty, that is fairer far than all the life that was lived till then. The true romance and poetry is in the dying blaze. thousand forms and eolors are re- vealed that were undisclosed to the hand or the imagination of the builder.
 Only He who first implanted in us the divine fire is aware of what becomes of it, for He maketh His angels spirits and His ministers a flame of fire"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-10-26
IN SIZE RIA.
rom the Chicago News

From the Chicago News.
 Horrid is the picture of existence in the penal colonies of Northern Siberia, given in a book just published in Germany by L. Tane, who returned to life after a burial of eight and half years in the living grave of Kolymsk. In that time, he says, he saw one after another of his fellows sucoumb to suicide. hunger and insanity. They were all young men and all were sent away for term$ ranging from five to ten years for political of lenses.
 The trip to Kolymsk takes 16 months q was 20 years old" he says, 'when I was convicted for harboring liberal con victions. In our party were 16-year- old boy and another year younger. All told we were 50 politicels." The writer describes the agonies of hunger which the deported "politicals'' had to endure. Mail was received three times year. T shall never forget one mail day,' he says. Tn IS months a certain one of our number had not heard from home. This mail brought him letter. It was a last greeting written in an uncertain hand by his mother on her deathbed. In des- peration he did what so many of our party had done before him, and which others did after We had laid him away