davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22
GLOBE SIGHTS.

TFrom the AtchiSon Globe. j
Some men will take an awful lot of
abuse to keep from paying their bills
How quickly Christmas comes after
YOU have reached an age where you care
little about 1t!
1t so often happens that by the time one
is well off in this world. he is well on
toward the next.
Women are looking for rich husbands.
for rich wives
1t is every boys opinion that it is a
waste Of time to hang up pm ma Itch
A man does not realize that he is get
ting old until certain things he likes very
much do not agree with him
When some people meet widower, they
can't help wanting to ask him; DO Won
like your second wife as Wen as you
liked your first?'
You probably see a good many toollsh
things in your daily intercourse with peo-
Pile In all probability, they also see
few foolish things in you
For every liar you find who tells how
many ducks he killed. or how many iish
he caught. you will find ten liars teiilng
of remarkable experiences IN love
A good deal of time is wasted In. com.
planning about the unequal distribution OF
wealth which might be used in getting
nearer what you regard as your rightfuI
share.
A womans compliments should be like
her dress: suitable TO her years; TO tel
an elderly woman she is pretty is in bad
her She is bright"
You may think you can be unnecessarily
disagreeable and get away with II, but
Won can't. why does anyone want to be
unnecessarily disaRreeable? Yet how many
seem to enjoy it!
..VVho are we to have in the parlor this
season." growled a man the other even
ing speaking to his daughter. There had
been a steady hammock beau all sum
mer but the family had not met him
A boy needs money for the Fourth OF
July a man needs IT all the time. and
the girl gets it II there is any in the
family. But a woman, particularly II she
has children, would be satisfied to be flush
at Christmas time.
Suppose that you we're a man, and
married man. and your wife should say
to You that her mother and three children
had concluded to break UP housekeeping,
and spend the rest of their days with you.
What would you do? 1t would be your
dog on your mean old picture, you
wouldn't DO anything of the kind.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22
QUAKER MEDITAIoNs.
[Fron the Philadelphia Press.l

[From the Philadelphia Press.1
Even when a fellow is a rounder he may
be cornered.
When a man stands on his dignity he
sometimes puts his foot in it.
The finger Of scorn is one of the priII-
cipaI sign posts on the highway of life.
Love in a cottage may depend some
what on the location of the cottage.
The man with a family tree doesn't give
much thought to preserving the forests.
Some people take a melancholy salts
faction in always being prepared for the
worst.
He who doesn't profit by his own mis-
takes can't expect to profit by the mis-
takes of others.
stormy weather makes me tired. COM
planned the umbrella. Every time it
rains / am used I'D"
Il believe in making the little things
count" remarked the kindergarten teacher
as she called up the class in arithmetic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

Following on the Reuf verdict in
San Francisco another staggering
blow has been delivered at grafters
and corruptionists who have piled their
trade in public affairs. Four of the
men, three of them former high state
officials, who were mixed up in the
nauseating Pennsylvania capitol
frauds. have been sent to prison, each
TO serve a term of two years. The
linen higher up in other localities
are surely receiving plenty of tips to
divert their peculiar energies to other
fields of activity.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

Certainly the bank robbers must be
mighty prosperous these days. The
practice of them making a raid in au-
tomobiles is now quite common. This
is what a gang of them did in an east
ern state a week or so ago and more
recently have the same vehicles been
used for getaways in Nebraska. Per
haps though. some INSCRIPTIONS au-
tomobilists have been forced to turn
bank robbers in order to pay for the
maintenance of their cars.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

Congressman who are opposed to the
present rules prevailing in the house
of representatives. and who are dub
bed Insurgents" are reported to be
leaving Washington for their homes
in jubilant frame of mind because
they will be able to tell their constit-
uents that before the end of the ses-
sion the rules will be amended. It's
safe to say that their constituents
would be more interested in hearing
that some progress had been made in
the way of enacting variety of leg
islation that is most desirable.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

Here's pertinent fact or two to pom
der over. The fire losses in the Uni
ted States last year amounted to $215,-
100000 or seven times the fire loss in
the whole of Europe. The sacrifice of
lives in this country attendant on these
fires numbered 1900. Experts declare
that three-fourths of this sacrifice of
life and property occurred in frame
buildings and was due to faulty con-
struction and neglect of proper pre-
ventives Of fire. What chance there
Is in this regard for reform?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

It will be mighty interesting to
watch the development in the forth
coming United States senatorial con-
test in Ohio. and particularly in the
regard as to the extent of the "vindi-
cation" that the people of Ohio,
through their representatives in the
legislature, will accord to Joseph Ben
ton Foraker He has formally an
nounced his candidacy for reelection
and declares that he is in the contest
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

A gentleman who poses as an ex-
pert in Indian affairs is out with the
declaration that within three genera
tions there won't be a real Indian left
in this country. II this condition pre-
walls its result will have to be set
down to the benevolent assimilation
with which the Red men have been
treated. Under these circumstances the
prospects of the Filipinos in maintain
ing their race are not very encouraging
for benevolent assimilation is the
civilizing medicine that is being given
to them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

The time to do Christmas shopping
early has already passed but the tardy
folks can still show consideration to
the store clerks which will be appre-
ciated greatly by doing such trading
as is yet to be done in the daytime
The shoppers themselves will be the
gamers by so doing. Clerks in the
stores are only human beings. They
may well be pardoned If they become a
trifie inatentive during the night
hours after they have already put in
a full days work of the most trying
sort on their feet. Such long hours as
are demanded of them during the clos
ing days of the holiday trade are not
conducive to alacrity and cheerfulness
especially during the evening hours
that they must be on duty.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

Not a word has been said yet of the
possibility of Richard Harding Davis
and James Creelman, noted writer's
and newspaper men, accompanying
Mr.. Roosevelt on his African hunt, eth
er as comrades or as representatives
Of the newspapers and magazines which
are to take the field on their own hook
for the purpose of discounting such
tales of the chase as Mr.. Roosevelt
has been commissioned to write at 50
a word. Surely a Rooseveltian enter
prise Of this sort cannot amount to
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

SNIITY.

MY name is Smith. I'd have you know,
1u ~. no one calls me that,
A pit too embonpoint I grow
Inc vulgar say I'm fat
nave a smile and hearty grip;
l m always on the street;
MY nickname hangs upon the lip
OF every one greet.
Hello. there. Smitty-how is Smitty?
S Sp6 colds Well, that's pity.
That's a ditty,
Through the city
Every witty
Foolish 1t. he
Calls me Smitty-
Like that:
Smitty.
Where others draw the term "old man, u
Or John or Mike or BILL
Since this sad life of mine pegan
rIhey, We put me through the mill
With. Srnitty, this and "Smitty'' that
And "Smitty' so and So
Until 1 question where I'm at
Me. with real name, joe
New York Sun
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
from the New York Press.l
80. l.. ..n... fnr,d Of l,is sfate.

from the New York Press.l
A man might be very fond of his sister
II she wasn't.
The way a girl makes a man think
she's clever is acting as IL she thinks he
is.
One of the strongest habits man OF
family acquires, Is pretending he isn't
when away on trips.
mans idea of having good time -
Only when he gets home late from II
with guilty conscience.
A woman can. worry more over the
than a man over the things that are act
ua1iy happening.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

Maybe the reason that Topekans did
not see that marvellous meteor which
was frisking around Wichita. Salina
and st. Joseph, No, early Sunday ev-
ening is because they have other things
to do besides star-gazing. AZ might be
expected. the Salina folks did a little
better than any of the rest of them.
They saw two meteors.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

much without the assistance of tsDicky''
Davis and Jim" Creelman. The bat
tie of San Juan Hill would likely have
been a tame affair, on the pages. of
history, at least. if these fellows with
their frislxy pens had not been on
hand to lead Mr. Roosevelt and his
Rough Riders to its summit.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22
HUAOR OF THE Day

The Powder Neutrality-suspicious. old
d 1i1i' on an people; going into the gunpow
think that that would be the last tbing
he'd do: The Workman-Which, properlV
speakin'' it were, sir.-The Sketch.
See that fellow walking with one foot
on the curb and the other in the gutter,
"a e ep,a It t don't take no Sherlock Holmes
TO guess that he summered in the noun
ins."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
tant prospering? George-Weil. when 4
call now her dog wags his tail.-Puck.
future pGnishment? me mot t f69 Gss q
answered Mr.. Sirius Barker But favor
it for lot of people I know."-Washing-
ton Star.
Yes" said the bankrupt. II lost my for
tune reaching for an ideal" Very inter-
esting. And what was your ideai?'' "a
bigger fortune than 1 had. "-Philadelphia
Ledger.
Foul tactics" declared the haIfbaclz
Whats the trouble now?'' demanded the
but this fellow blocked it with his head. >"
Kansas City Journal.
Bridget" said Mrs. Grouchy. 81 don't
like the loo, looks Of that man man who called to
Bridget. "ain't it funny. ma am? He said
the same about you."-John Bull
Il dOn care about a church wedding,
Myrtle. Do you? wouldn't you rather be
married right here at your own homer.
Yes, but 1 afraid we can't do that,
Algy. I'm quite sure it's forbidden in the
lease. "-Chicago Tribune.
Never mind" said the persistent poll
tician: I'm spite of resentments shall still
be in the public eye" Perhaps" answer
ed the heartless critic. But the same
might be said of the cinder you encounter
in a railway rain.''-Exchange.
Hickson-Its all up with Saylor. Dick
son-CIracioLs! He's not dead? HicksUn
No: he's bought an airship --Philadelphia
Telegraph.
Tell me this" ''WelI?" How does a
woman manage to get a gown from the
dressmaker before the style changes?'-
Louisville Courier-Journal
.s4Iow-s should we head this article re-
ferring to the shipment of alarm clocks
to Peking?' asked the new reporter.
Alarm clocks to Peking," echoed the
busy trade editor. 'Oh. just head it The
Awakening of China "-Chicago Daily
News.
The society reporter knocked gently at
the door of the rich apartment. Pardon
me. madam" he said to the beautiful ere
alton in a sheath gown who answered his
summons. but have you heard what viii
be worn at the dedication of the new tank
at the Ladies' Gym Association Il have
heard-nothinR"' replied the creation, clos
ing the door gently,-Puck.
ct want the interview with me to have
the widest circulation possible, All
right" replied the interviewer Thought
fully Il suppose the most effective way
would be to suppress it."-Philadelphia
Public Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22
BIRD Seeks Cooked Mate.

There was an unusual happening in
the home of ]. K. Camp, a grocer. yes
terday. Mrs. Camp, a great lover. of
partridge. is recovering from severe
Illness and she remarked last week that
she would like a partridge for dinner.
Mr. Camp went out and shot a plump
bird Seated at the table yesterday,
Mrs. Camp was telling how well she
liked partridge. when suddenly the
family was startled by a crash against
the window, and going outside Mr.
Camp found another partridge. 1t had
flown against the window, breaking its
neck.=Winsted (Conn.) dispatch to
New York Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22
Eagle and Pig Again

Inc average country newspaper COR
respondents range of vision is never
thWarted by broken sky lines and the
dome of heaven, grand and glorious, as
II oroadens from his unhampered view,
gives scope to his imagination The
average country correspondent never
allows the phrase, nothing doing" to
shadow his genius
What is more natural than that a
strange bird, the size of a turkey buz-
zard, should pounce down upon a litter
OF small New Jersey pigs and fly away
with one? To have the strange bird
chased a mile by two crows, which ac-
compllshed the rescue of the pig. is a
matter of thrilling detail; to have the
pig identified as the property of a
farmer living mile away leaves moth
ing to the imagination; and lastly, to
determine that the strange bird is an
eagle is a mere matter of verifying
foregone conclusion.
1t Is impossible to lose the country
newspaper correspondent; his field lies
between the horizons, and he covers it
completely. His genius does no harm,
If we forget the heart flutters of the
little pig as it flies through the air.
However, he kindly returns it to the
litter in time for supper, and leaves it
to join the chorus of satisfied grunts.
The country newspaper correspondent
is not cruel to animals; the creatures
with which he deals live happily ever
after.-Toledo Blade.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

Yes" said the bankrupt. II lost my for
tune reaching for an ideal" Very inter-
esting. And what was your ideai?' "A
bigger fortune than had."-Philadelphia
Ledger.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

Foul tactics" declared the haIfbacl<
What's the trouble now?" demanded the
referee. Il tried a kick for the stomach
but this fellow blocked it with his head
Kansas City Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

Bridget" said Mrs. Grouchy. II don't
like the looks of that man who called to
see you last night We'll. WELL" replied
Bridget. "ain't it funny. ma lam? He said
the same about you."-John Bull.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

do you believe in the literal idea of
future punishment?', Not for myself. .
it for lot of people now."-washing-
ton Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22
Famous Abbey to Be Preserved.

English papers announce that the
fund for the purchase and preservation
of Glastonbury Abbey is now complete,
Glastonbury Abbey is one of the most
interesting buildings in England. Ac-
cording to the legend. Joseph of Arl-
mathea went thither bearing the Holy
Grail and founded the first Christian
church in Britain. The present abbey
was built by Henry de Blois in 1856. A
quaint story is told of the abbot's
kitchen. Some of the old abbots used
to entertain so lavish1y that an English
monarch threatened the destruction of
their wooden kitchen. So the monks
built a stone kitchen. with walls sew
eral feet thick, which they thought
would withstand assaults. The kitchen
exists now in a good state of preserva-
tion Four oxen could be roasted in it
at once.--New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

ct don't care about a church wedding
Myrtle. Do you? Wouldn't you rather be
married right here at your own homer?
| Yes, but 1 am afraid we can't do that
Algy. I'm quite sure it's forbidden in the
lease. Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

Harry-How is your suit with Miss Dis
tant prospecting? George-Well, when
call now her dog wags his tail.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22
Wants Ancient Note Paid.

A $40 note of the English colony of
New York, issued February Is, 1771-137
years Accommodating the Declaration
Of Independence, has been presented to
Comptroller Metz with a demand for
payment.
The calculations are staggering to the
comptroller. His experts make out thai
if the city is obligated to redeem the
note, with compound interest, it will
have to hand over something like $780,
900. Metz has asked the corporation
counsel for legal advice on the puzzle.
The note was sent to Mr.. Metz by
commercial agency. 1t is in very
good state of preservation. Authorized
five years before New York, with the
other original states, became free from
British rule, 1t bears the old coat of
arms of the colony of the grant to the
Duke of York. This coat of arms is the
same used now by the city of New
York, with the exception of the removal
of the crown, which was not used after
the revolutionary war. On the bill is
the following reading:
.'By the law of the Colony of New
York this bill shall be received in all
payments in the Treasury for G10.
February 16, III.
WALTER FRANKLIN,
SAMUEL VERPLANCK."
The bill has the number 1886. 1t also
carries the ominous warning:
"'Tis death to counterfeit. New
York American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

See that fellow walking with one foot
on the curb and the other in the gutter p
y ep 1t don't take no Sherlock Holrne:
TO guess that he summered in the noun.
ta1ns louisville COURIER ournal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22
VIII Not Marry Consumptives.

The Rev. Herbert S. Johnson, pas
tor of the Warren Avenue Baptist
church, announced at the service Sun
day that he never again would marry
a consumptive. and that he would at
the next district meeting ask the
church authorities to prohibit mar
rage where one of the parties was a
consumptive.
81 am taking that step" he said,
'because I do not want to stand be-
fore my God as murderer. The
marriage of an unaffected person
with one suffering from the great
white plague means that both
inevitably will have the disease
Dr. Johnson said that he had given
the matter great thought and that he
had considered it time for the church
to take a stand for life and mortality
under such conditions. Laws and
legal devices admittedly are unable to
cope with the condition; therefore the
church must meet it and conquer it, .
he said.
Mr.. johnson also said that he
would not marry any man whose in
come is less than $12 a, week.-Bos-
ton dispatch to New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

The Powder Observation-Disclosures old
BlA, or all people, going into the gunpow-
der shed with lighted candle. I should
think that that would be the last thing
ne 90; the Workman-Which. properly
speaktn', it were, sir.-The Sketch
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

Tell me this" ''WeH?" How does a
woman manage to get a gown from the
dressmaker before the style changes?'-
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-22

'sFIow- should we head this article re.
ferring to the shipment of alarm clocks
to Peking?" asked the new reporter.
Alarm clocks to Peking," echoed the
busy trade editor. ''Oh, just head it The
Awakening of China "-Chicago Daily
News.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1908-05-15

The Lewiston Tribune seems to
take exceptions to the action OF the
Latah democrats and states 1T is
doubtful II the average man ever
saw a mormon in his life" Well we
wouldent swesr to that bnt rather
think the Tribune has.
1t also states the way the laws
are administered and the money
spent does effect us Kendrickites-
Agreed and because of this we be-
lieve the Mormon issue a vital one.
We want better administration of
aRws. the constitution enforced,
whether it hurts Mormons or others.
Don't yOu?
We won't swear about seeing Nor
mons but unfortunately every one
OF us have felt their power.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1908-05-15
eiillousness aad Constipation.

For years was troubled with bili-
BUSINESS and constipation, which
made life miserable for me. My ape
tIte failed me. lost my usual force
and vitality. Pepsin preparations
and cathartics only made matters
worse. l do not know where l
should have been today had l not
tried Chamberlin's Stomach and
Liver Tablets. The tablets relieve
the Ill feeling at once, strengthen the
digestive functions, pur theifv stOm-
ach. liver ane blood, helping the sys.
tenn to do it's work naturally.-Mrs.
Rosa Potts, Birmingham, Ala. These
tablets are for sale by the Kendrck
Drug Co.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1908-05-15
The Worlds Best Climate

Is not entirely free from disease. on
the high elevations fevers prevail.
while on the lower levels malaria is
encountered to greater or less ex.
tent, according to altitude. To over.
come climate affections Iassitude. ma.
laria. jaundice, biliousness. fever and
ague. and general debility. the most
effective remedy is Electric Bitters,
the great alternative and blood puri.
fer; the antidote for every form of
bodily weakness, nervousness, and in.
somonia. Sold under guarantee at
the Kendrick Daug Co. Price soc
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1908-05-15
LOCAL NOTES

D. H. Bennett, a timber man Of
Beckinridge, MINI. after travelling all
over the middle west and south pur.
chased a series Of quarter sections Of
timber land of which he ic now run.
aing the lines. Benefits choic e
speaks londer for the timber values of
this country than a world of advertis
ing could and as he is genial gentle.
man we are all glad to have him with
US.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1908-05-15
TERMS.
KENDRICK
IDAHO

While Kendrick after due consider.
alton decided not to celebrate the
18th ~ a body, the Business Men are
laying plans for u publicity move
which will be far more beneficial to
the patrons of the town and give
much longer and better advertise
ment Of It's advantages.
The spirit of the Business Mems
meeting was gsod showing that
while the town may be devided in
Solne respects, when it comes to the
public veal we are n united body.
cannot help but progress.
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1908-05-15
Notice..

Anyone buying horses, ETC., from
e. E. Schmidt do SO at their own risk
as hold bills OF sale for the entire
outfit.
c. A. RILEY.