The sun., 1908-03-22
RRSlE, E,RSURECOVLDSNORE
NAN FROM NEBRASKY PROVES IT
10 HIS 0KN SATISFACTION


A batch Of Italian immigrants tioketed
tor ne gravel dlgRlngs OF oklahoma snored
In the mems waiting room Of
the Rrie station In Jersey City one night
not long ago.
A eaunt man IN black btore clothee and
with q black glazed bag, with two little
green eagles stencilled on the sides OF the
bag, leaned against the heater listening.
That's scmN anorin',' he observed to
the man With the teraa cotta clay Pipe.
who also was leaning against the heater
'Dut there are half a dozen Of 'em doin'
II. Ripsaw Belkins, Of my town. waving
q knobby hand in the general direction oil
the West, could snore louder than any
hundred o. them ginneyS without lettin'
out link. Rlpsaw sire could.
That was knowin' how TO snore,' en-
oouragingy observed the man with the
terra Gotta clay pipe.
That's what said the gaunt man with
tho black store clothes and the black glazed
bag, THAT sure Is what Rlpsaw, he
bolds the Nebrasky record for snorin' at
all distances. from creep 70 nine miles.
'Ripsaw-his name was Ethelbert Muir
gatEoyd Belkins. hut We called him Ripeaw
count Of bis snorin'-Ripsaw drJv a coal
wagon In my town, aud he lived right next
door 10 me. So ought to know about
his snorin. Rpsaw he KEEP me shorin'
up my shack with railroad ties for five
year with his snorin. He'd jar the weather
boards Oh and dislooate the soantlins with
his snorin', and he sure KEEP me busy keeEin'
my shack from fnllin' down on me at night
Ripsaw srored 40 hard one night that his
own shac.; fell IN on him. and that's when
the town got together and made Ripeaw
sleep out In the woods under tent Didn't
want him 10 kill hlsself. YOU see, because
the county d have had 10 bury him
Ripeaw never saved nothin','
Must a. been there with that snorin'
thing all right commented the man with
the terra Gotta clay pipe,
"Worse'n that said the man with the
black store clothes. But it was a real
to Ripsaw. his snorin He was
always gettin' into some kind Of a mess
along Of his snorin' Member one night
Ripsaw had fifteen cent seat in the gallery
Of the op'ry house to see some stage troupers
do this here Macbeth piece. Well, Rpsaw
didn't have no more sense than TO 60 to
sleep endurin' the show, and when Hdc-
bsths wife comes out in her nighte TO do
her sleep walkin', why, what does that
fool Ripsaw Belkins do but begin snorin'.
well, II clean busted up the show. Every
body got to hollerin aud lau Chin and then
the lady In her nightie marched on the stage
in hun, and the curtain had to come down,
and she wouldn't show up no more, no
matter how much they begged her, and
the feller that was runnin' the show had to
come out and tell the crowd that the show
was all over.
sBut that wasn't nothin' TO other scrapes
that RipsaV got into with his snorin
'Its wonder Ripsaw wouldn't a slep'
standin' up, like a hoss and saved bother
f'r hisself, remarked the clay smoker.
Never will ferGt the time Rpsaw broke
up all the cavalry HOSES at the fort by his
snorin'.' went on the man with the blank
glazed bag, ignoring the others suggest ion.
They we're havin' what they call monkey
and Rooshan Cossack drill on the p'rade
ground on a Fourth o. July, and RipSaw
went up TO the fort TO look Il over.
while waitin' for the hoss soldiers 10
show up Ripsaw picked out a soft piece o
grass under tree over 70 the LETT o, the
o 'fade ground, and from chewin' on blades
O. Rrass and loahn' there in the shade o
the trees, why what does Ripsaw do but
70 get to slumberin'. He was of In spot
by hisself an nobody knowed that he
was anvwhare near the DCet
well, the hosses with their riders come
a-rompin' out onto the p'rade ground, a
hull caboodle OF EN-, and purity d'reckly
they fell to doin' them fancy circus stunts.
Well, sir, every one o. them soldiers was
a-standin' on his head on his hoss's back.
the HOSES goin' slow, when
"Ta-ra-ra-ral went the trumpet charge
Y'see, II was on'y Ripsaw wakin' up and
lettin out big final snoTe blast, but how
could the hosses know that1 The soldiers
didn't know Il, either. because Il sounded
lust as much like the trumpet call TO charge
as the charge call itself,
sNow, all O. them cavalry HOSES had been
through Injun fights. and that charge call
10 them was like a barkeep's bungstarter
ID be to me and you. Every one O. them
Ave- hundred and odd hossea give one big
lump at the sound, and away they went
every last soldier a-fallin' of-they we're
standin on their heads on the HOSES backs
at the time, think | mentioned-and every
one Of. 'em come parlous near 10 breakin
their necks
sThe hosses, not KNOWN what was doin
without their riders, sure did stampede
f'r the tall brush, and most OF EN- ran about
thirty-seven mile before they was cor
rallied; and that want till four days lateJ
on. Ripeaw he had to hide out on a farm
for a month till the thing blowed over
or them soldiers sure would "a mauled
him up shameful.
"Y'see, them soldiers at the post was
sore on Ripsaw, anyway. for i was only
bout a month before that he'd made EN-
all look simple with his enorin'.
This time Ripsaw had been delivenn
coal at the fort all day, and when II comt
time for him TO knock on work for the day
they were Just beginnin 10 have dress
p'rade on the big p'rade ground hpsaW
he'd never had much chanot TO see dres'
p'rade, 20 he decided he'd sit in his wagor
and watch II on this evenin and then drive
IN 10 town. Well, OF course that blamed
fool Ripeaw had to 20 10 sleep as he cal
there on the seat OF his wagon, and he wal
still a-sleepin' when the soldiers come ou
and started 10 dress p'rade
They were right In the middle OF u
and uarchin sroun' somethin' fine, witt
ali O. the swell city folks a-lookin' at EN-
when Rpsaw's hoss gave a sort o nervous
little pull in the shafts. and RipSaw hC
woke up 30 sudden that the snore he wal
Just lettin out broke right smack in thu
middle.
1T sounded like the frin' Of the evenin
pun that always winds up dress prade, ano
III be gosh whanged II all o. them marchin
soldiers didn't think II was the evenin
cannon. The trumpers that we're all lined
up took IL as a for sure that the evenin
gun had been fired Oh on the other sil Q
the p'rade groun', and 30 they ups with
their trumpets TO their faces and sounds
the thing they call retreat fully fifteen min
nits before it's due and before the evenin
Run IA sure enough fired.