New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
A SEVEN-F00T HAIR.
How a Judge Prepared Big Surprise for
His Wife.

One of the overture stories OF this session of
Congress was told in the cloak room by Sem
ator Nathan B. Scott of West Virginia. whose
dramatic mode of narration made the tale
doubly impressive.
II seems that a Judge OF his acquaintance
had very charming wife, but she was over
neat and was forever brushing microscopic dust
from his clothes; still ali went we'll until she
started on the hair hunt" After that she
never sat beside her husband for Ave minutes
but she perceived hair OF some sort on his
clothing, and hastened to remove 1t. be it hair
Of dog cat or human being.
About this time there came to the town a
long haired lady. possibly one Of the Suther-
land Sisters, who sat In state at one OF the
pricipal hotels, daily exhibiting her seven feet
of black hair to an admiring audience The
Judge was present at of these exhibitions
watched his opportunity and secured hair.
He and his wife were regular attendants at
church. and at the Sunday morning services
he suffered most from his wifes hair finding
proclivities. Just he composed his mind TO
listen to the reading the sermon-or even tho
prayers-he would feel sudden pluck at some
part OF his clothing-a hair was discovered
and so on all through the service. The judge
feared that some time he would be heard to
say a naughty word in church.
On the Sunday after his brief visit to the
long haired lady his last preparation for wor-
ship was singular. A corner of his handker-
chief was carefully arranged to peep from his
coat pocket, and. showing upon the white back
ground. dangled end OF black hair.
With marvellous patience he endured tho
searching scrutiny of the good lady beside him;
her eyes soon reached his pocket. but a chance
L,Jr r,rytfJ attrn
did not arrive until the sermon began when
the Judge crossed his arms and was evidently
absorbed IN the eloquent utterances from the
pulpit. A cautious Jerk brought away a foot
OF black hair-another yank. another foot. There
was little surprise that the end was not
reached-a third foot came to light. then
pause to be sure that the hunt" was unnoticed.
A fourth yank: still no end to that hair. The
good lady exasperated and yank number
five was energetio-still end. The thing
like a nightmare: q damp chill came her.
but she was a determined and courageous
American woman-yank number six-despera-
tion-talk about nightmare-it a joke TO
thsi One more pull and seven feet OF hair was
on the seat between her and the Judge. 1t
could not be left there for the sexton to marvel
over, 1t was hastily thrust under the heavy
cover of her hynnbook, while she mopped the
in rapt attention the face of the minister.
devoutly hoping that the hair hunt" had been
unobserved by the congregation.
Quietly the judges hand slipped down to the
hymnbook-a moment and the hair was In his
pocket; no matter II 1t broke now. The sermon
ended, the ireful lady grasped the book with
relentless grip, holding for dear life as she
walked home, concoctng scathing sentences to
be uttered in the privacy Of home--no word Of
the judges pleasant conversation was heard.
The front door closed behind them:
WILLIAM, what did you have in your coat
pocket this morning."
The Judge looked at her with An innocent
and questioning gaze
"You had this" she went on sternly, OPEN
ing up the cover Of the hymnbook. There was
the fyleaf with the name neatly written on it
nothing more, absolutely nothing more She
kuxnsd pA,e ana Gtaxad h1anhtx aA h0 hunnand,