davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

a GOOD many readers and an I'M
~ comfortable number of writers
seem to have somehow got the
notion that commas. periods, semicolons,
colons, etc, were invented for the pur-
pose of puzzlng honest people and that
these points really have no serious, prac-
teal meaning. The following stanza which
may be either a simple, harmless state
inent of commonplace facts or tissue Of
stupendous lies, according to the manner
in which it is punetuated. ought to be
a sufficient refutation of so crude and
erroneous notion. Let us take the lying
version first
1--WE seen the sun all on a blaze of
fire.
I've seen a house. high as the moon
and higher
I've seen the sun at u o'clock at night:
I've seen the man that saw this wondrous
sight,
This would seem to be marvellous
enough to satisfy CULVER or a Mum
chausen, but let us make a few slight
changes in the punctuation, retaining the
same words in the same order and we
shall find the statements tame enough:
I've seen the sun: all on a blaze of
fire
I've seen house: High as the moon and
higher
I've seen the sun: At y o'clock at
night,
I've seen the man that saw this wondrous
sight"
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

Do you ''blow" your money? Is your
roll" no bigger than weeks wages?
And you despise a tight wad2'
Well
Maybe there is a halfway place, a
reasonable compromise, between stln-
giness and selfishness. There is. 1t
is the way of frugality.
Money was made to spend-wiseIy.
1t was made to save-wisely. Econo-
my is a real virtue. Thrift is real
blessing.
Suppose you should try to save, say.
% per cent of your earnings?
1t would be easy. On every side
are the pulls that tug at your purse
strings. But if you are strong enough
to make money you are strong enough
to save it.
Saving is a wise policy because It
provides ready cash. And ready money
talksl 1t spells opportunity.
The time may come when a little
ready cash will set you up in bust
ness. The margin between success and
failure often is the margin of a lit
tie capllal.
John Wanamaker's first wages were
just $1.2O per week. He saved part
of it.
Old John Rockefeller shows his
book where he put down his first
earnings. Always there was the mar
gin of saving.
E. H. Hartman. son of a poor
preacher, always spent less than he
earned
James A. Garfield taught school ar
$12 a week and saved money to take
him through college.
Now
Real stinginess is next door to mean
ness, and greed may lead to graft. But
Stinginess Is one thing prudence Is an
other. Even virtue may be carried to
the extreme and become a vice.
Suppose you try saving regularly.
The habit may make a man of you.
Self reliance and self restraint are fac
tors in character. There can be no man
hood without self-contro1
Save little money young man. Get
the habit. You will need the maitland
the money
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

Y ONDON. November 7-Queen Alex
andra's enthusiasm for photogra-
- ply particularly in the form of
snapshots. is well known, as is also her
genuine interest in many forms of
charity.
She is this year combining these two
interests in what will probably prove a
very successful Undertaking.
During November we are told to expect
the publication of Queen Alexandra's
Christmas Gift Book-Photographs from
my Camera the contents of which, both
picture and letter press, will be the
queens own work.
Her majesty has decided that the price
is to be only half crown, and the pro-
ceeds of the sale are to be given to vari-
GUS charities 1t is kindly deed, and
the book is sure to be well received.
Lady Randolph Churchilrs Reminis-
cences." published now In book form. is
full of interesting anecdotes of distin-
guished people, both in England and
abroau, and is sure to be widely read.
Mr.. Rudyard Kipling distributed the
prizes to his students at the Middlesex
hospital, and made a most amusing
speech.
He called attention to the fact that
there are only two classes of mankind in
the world----doctors and patients-and
though it was unfortunate for the
doctors that in Nthe combat they waged
for their fellow men. Death, the senior
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

Copyright 1908 by Edwin A. Nye.
"HIS is true story of what hap
pened in Prospect Hill cemetery at
L Omaha, Neb
Two boys, just average American boys.
were strolling through the cemetery.
Many of the graves were decorated with
flowers.
In that walk the lads came across a
small grave that had no flowers on it.
The younger boy, aged about seven
years, stopped and looked at the grave
He turned about to see if any one was
near. The coast seemed clear. He
crept over to nearby mound that was
almost covered with fine blossoms.
Telling his companion to keep watch,
the little fellow selected several bou-
DUETS from the well decorated grave.
Secreting the flowers under his Jacket,
he crept back to the neglected little
mound and gently and lovingly be-
slowed them upon the tiny grave.
The two little fellows walked quietly
away. speaking no word to each other
until they reached the street outside the
cemetery.
Then the younger said, THAT wasn't
stealin', was it?"
Course it wasn't responded the other.
Don't you think that little baby had
just as much right to flowers on its
grave as some of those old folks?''
Aye, boy, why not?
Somebody had forgotten baby's grave.
That was no reason why boy should
stand by and allow it. That was no rea-
son why the tender feelings of the two
boys should be hurt by such neglect.
Benisons on their heads-and hearts
They felt the reproach caused by the
neglect of the baby's friends. They re-
moved the reproach caused by the
neglect by taking a few flowers that
would not be missed.
Trust the sweet, tender instinct of a
right thinking lad to do justice and love
mercy
1t was not stealing.
1 don't care what the calf or buck
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

A young man threw himself into the
Chicago river. When he was pulled out
he said he was driven to commit suicide.
He said:
'I could not see my way through life"
He had $40 in his pockets, was strong
and healthy and had no one dependent
upon him.
Coward!
Supposing all of us who cannot see
our way through life shauld jump into
the river, what would become of the
census?
1t is not given to mortals to see the
end from beginning. None of us has
a map of the expedition in which he is
engaged. One may have his plans, but
plans fall down. Unforeseen things
happen. Mortal prophecy fails because Of
contingencies. Often the way grows
misty; often the stars do not shine.
But the wise man knows
The forces that are for us are greater
than those that are against us. There
The wise man goes on bravely and
blindly.
Should we say blindly? Rather he
goes by faith instead of by sight. Faith
''sees the glimmer of a star and hears
the rustic of an angels wings" Faith
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

the be-diamonded clerk holds out the
pen for the registry.
Smith was neatly dressed, evidently
well educated and showed a cheerful and
gracious spirit. The desk sergeant says
ceedingly kind.
Was the man sane?
Did he devoutly believe as the book
says. Your citizenship is in heaven?'
Or was he a crank3 No matter. If his
head was added his heart was sound.
The man bunked at the station several
nights, hunting for work, which he failed
to find. He was glad to perform any SER
vice. however mental, for the sergeant
Deaf and dumb. but great souled. Hen
ry l.. Smith was not deaf to the real
harmonies of life, not dumb in proclaim
ing allegiance to that country whose
Maker and Builder is God" but deaf to
earth's discords. dumb to speak ill of any
"a heavenly guest in humanitys garb.
And then one day Smith started to
walk to his home in Nebraska That
evening he was struck by an Omaha train
and killed.
Well
The human torches in Nero's gardens,
Pauls headless body on the road to Os-
tia, Savonarola by way of the stake,
Henry l.. Smith on a railroad track
you see, there is no special route by
which home-sick mortals go home.
For surely Henry L. Smith will be "at
home in heaven.
Here he grew tired hunting for work;
there he Shall work for an age at sit
ting and never grow tired at ALL" So far
as we know, he had never crushed with
clumsy feet the flowers of human kind
ness nor thrust unholy hands into the
heartstrings of a friend-deaf and dumb
and poor, but one of Gods gentlemen.
Plebean name, Henry l.. Smith, but
who knows?-it may be an illustrious
name in celestial regions.
He registered finally at his home hotel.
Save Some Money, Young Man.
Coined money is round in shape;
therefore let it roll" says the spend
thrift.
COINED money is flat in shape;
therefore pile it up" says the miser.
Do you belong to the first class?
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

murdered before we stop abusing them "
Afterward. moralizing, Peter says:
Into our NAV go respect for tradition.
reverence for the dead, deceney, love of
religion, sentiment, beauty. They are
back numbers.
do you wonder, my boy, why I touch
my hat to his excellency?"
Nor was Peter crank.
He was the hard headed paying teller
of Wall st. bank.
But-he had old fashioned ideals. In
deed, this novel itself is a story Of the
clash between modern business and ideal
ism.
Perhaps Peter was too sweeping in his
indictment, but it is true that lack of rev.
erence is the crying sin of our day.
Fancy one of the money mad brokers
lifting his hat to that statue of Washing
ton across from the sub treasury. I'M
possiblel
To such a man, absorbed in money, ira
dition has no glamour. greatness has no
precedence. goodness has no prestige,
heroism makes no appeal, and the ten
der grace of a day that is dead" is moth
ing to him.
And what of the boy who calls his
parents 1.-THE old man" and "the old lady,"
to whom fathers advice is only 'dope?"
And the girl distressed at mothers ac-
cent and ashamed Of her table manners?
What of these youngsters who deprecate
the experience of the old folks?
1t is all of a piece.
Imagine such youngsters saluting the
statue of that old party" George WASH
ington!
Peter Grayson was right. Lack of rev.
erence for parents, teachers, the aged;
lack of reverence for tradition and for
righteousness-for these the statue of
George Washington is a perpetual re-
buke.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08
Copyright.
Copyright.
"HIS is the story of cow.
Is it the story of a dear CO
L lived in grandmother rec

THIS is the story of cow.
Is it the story of a dear COW that
4 lived in grandmothers red barn
and ate pink clover?
No.
1t is the story of a bold, bad COW, of
the long-horned, raspberry plush variety,
that lived on Laramie Plains and ate
bunch-grass, tomato tins, tents, timid
travellers and wire fences.
Why didn't she live in a nice red barn?
Because she jolly we'll woudn't-that
was reason enough for her. She preferred
death to life in nice red barn, or any
nclosed space whatsoever So she lived
on the plains. And haven't you just lit
tie sympathy for that bold, bad COW who
preferred. the wild, free plains to the COM
forts of civilization and the joy of be-
ing useful? l have. Otherwise there'd
be no story.
The COW introduced herself / was ly
ing on my back at noon one summer day,
smoking my after-dinner pipe, wishing
somebody'd do the dishes for me and put
them into Jnny's pack, and saddle up,
and see that the fire was tramped out so
that weed beat UP a big bunch of nice
ripe young sage chickens, and see some
antelope, and shoot wolf, and that 1
could sleep solid week without stopping,
when-the COW pranced up the chalk bluff
at the foot of which Brandt and l were
making dinner camp.
I don't know what she took exception
to in my appearance or attitude. 1t may
have been the sole of the boot 1 was
swinging in her face, one knee dangling
over the other; It may have been my
'baccy and she didn't like the brand; it
may have been myself. At any rate, her
manner was most abrupt and rude. The
minute she saw me she lowered her head
and flung me the most awful "You-who-
who-WHO!' She seemed to pull the
sounds up from her boots and throw
them out like yards of bunting to fiutter
on the breeze-"yon-who-- who-WHO!'
said, "All right-who are your" But
Brandt sat up from behind the rock
where he was trying to cover his large
person with 6x20 inches of warm shade,
and then took to his feet with a bounce.
The cow gave whoop that lifted her
off the earth. For moment she cal
culated her jump on him from the top
a sheer 80 feet--thought better of 1t,
dashed to a narrow treadway zigzag-
ging to reach the stream, and came
pouring down.
"Crazy Jane" cried Brandt 1.-THE
rifles"
And the rifles were in the saddle
holsters where we'd thrown them off
never thought of taking them as we
carried our lunch upstream looking for
a place with enough sage brush for
our campfire. Brandt threw one look
at them-Crazy Jane had reached the
level and was rushing on us-"Clear
the tracks for the Empire State Ex-
press!"
squat y down.-folla me" yelled
BraHdt Jumping directly on the track
and squatting There himself.
Squat down on the track Of the En-
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

The stage has a new devil.
He is popular and bows and leers to
standing room only.
Nobody knows how the real satan looks.
He appeared ON that day when the sons
of God gathered, land satan came Also"
but there is no description of his shape.
When he was given power to afflict
poor old Job and when he appeared TO
tempt the Son of God he did not dis
close himself physically, so fartas we
know.
There is the supicion that the real
for sure" devil is too smart to mani
fest himself bodily.
Many have tried to picture satan.
Each picture is the artists point of
view. Milton gives him form and shape.
But his is a very human devil. He suf-
fers like a man. (which way I turn
is hell-myself am hell" walls this poor
satan.
Goethe's creature Mephistopheles, Is a
man of the world, genial enough and
never so repulsive as to defeat his fell
purposes. Though he keeps horns and tail
well hidden, he is just as cruel as Mil
toms satan.
oh, there is a devil, all right
And worse than that!
There is a myriad of devilettes.
The spirit of evil is in the world
along with the spirit of good. These
spirits manifest themselves in human
flesh, men and women. (Can you fancy
feminine devil?) There are a-plenty of
both sexes-little devils, incarnated evil
who go about, not like a roaring lion
seeking whom they may devour.
Indeed to tell the whole truth about
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

it, there is little devil in you! He-or
she--may be a wee, tiny devil, but he is
there just the same. And in me. And
in all of us.
When the spirit of evil works through
you and me and all of us, that is the
big devil of all, using you and me and
all of us as ministers of his evil de-
sign.
Mask this big satan as you may. no
stage presentation can ever idealize
him as anything but vile nor conceal
his wicked and awful character.
The Bible says he is now chained.
But the chain is long onei Keep away
from him or-he'll git We
II you
don't
watch
outl
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

HENRY L. SMITH, HEAVEN.
That was the peculiar way In which a
deaf and dumb man registered at the po-
lice station at Sioux City, Ia.
Why heavens registry book at a police
station?
1t might be there.
Indeed, it is as likely to be there as in
some of the high priced hostelries where
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

ram bound books in the law library have
to say about what the boys did.
Or
If you must stick to your definitions
of petty larceny and the letter OF the
law, why
Let's put 1t along with uncle Toby's
slip. You know what happened-the re-
cording angel dropped tear upon 1t and
blotted it out forever.
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

does not see the way; it holds the way
unseeing.
Because of this lack of faith and cour-
age and because of morbid broodings
young men and women by the hundreds
are committing rash self destruction. Such
suicides, caused by weakness and whim
are alarmingly on the increase.
1t looks as il moral courage the
bravery of mental and emotional resolu-
ton, is decreasing.
1t should not be so.
Life is given to be hazarded 1t is
a gift and no one has the moral right
to throw away gift. Therefore let NOR
tails hug life closely. II defeats come,
why, even defeats, il honorable, are
form of victory. Let us die straining on
to the goall II the harness sometimes
gals the tender places-well, scars are
creditable.
Life is to be lived-to the brlm.
Bravely drink the cup.
Lift the beaker high and drink to the
brave who go upward, though the way
be full of stones and dark and thorny.
If there be sweet poison in the cup.
fate put it there, not you or I.
And as for death? Why, let him
knock whenever he wills. You-and me
he shall not have-not till he breaks
down the doorl
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

It is said that an impecunious man
was walking along one of the streets
of London. early one morning, and was
anxious for a drink" and about equal
~ anxious for shave. AS he could
raise only four-pence -halfpenny. how
ever, he was somewhat at loss as to
what investment to make of his limited
means. when suddenly his eyes were
greeted with the sight of a BARRIERS
sign, which seemed to read as follows:
what do you think?
James McIlheney
Shaves for a penny,
And throws In a drink.
Our thirsty and hirsute traveller inn
mediately entered the shop; got him
self shaved, took his drink, and hand
ing his four-pence -half-penny to the
barber, asked for his change. "changew
said the barber: there is no change
due you. You have not paid all your
bill" The man protested that the sign
over the door had informed him that
a shave and a drink could both be pro-
cured there for a penny. "Oh." said
Mcnheney, you have not read my sign
correctly. Come, look at 1t again." A
more critical examination was made,
and it was ascertained that the sign
read as follows
The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-11-08

The character of Peter in f. Hopkinson
Smiths latest book of that name is
fine old gentleman who lifts his hat to
the statue of George Washington.
This is the way the author tells it:
Peter wheeled and lifted his hat to the
statue Good morning, your excellency,
he said in voice mellowed by the same
respectful tone with which he would have
addressed the original in the flesh"
His companion laughs at the strange
conceit, whereat Peter says;
He wasn't put there for ornament, my
boy, but to be kept in mind, and there
is no place in the world where his ex-
ample is so much needed as in Wall St.
Nobody reverences anything nowadays.
Even our presidents have to be
The sun., 1908-05-03
AUTOMOBILE NOTES.

Headed by the famous old model II, "Bedeua.
four Of the ave oadlacs entered In the Detroit
Auto Dealers Association endurance contest
wended their way up 10 the fnish line Friday even
Ing. While the showing Of the big four cylinder
cars was exceptionally good the real surprise ot
the nun was the work done by the little "one hunger
single cylinder cars, two Of which made the run
with nearly perfect scores. FrSt 10 check out was
"Bedens," the original model X car, which has done
over t7.oo0 miles since she was built. "Bedelias'
sole error mark wss the changing OF a spark plug
NsEt came the model @ touring car. with It's only
penAllIatlon caused BY the breaking Of . parallel
rod whom the car hit buried stone In q mud hole
Then came one Of the -one lungeTJ, penAlEed only
one point because the meehanlelAn shut O6 gaso
lere valve BY mistake. Last 10 repOrt In the time
limit was another SlnEie cyliAder driven BY Gene
MeNullen In the pluckieSt and most remarkable
three days drive ever recorded
During the nrJt day MohuIlen's car was un.
touched, but on the second days tnp while going
through . quGgmire, the little machine ran over
3 buried stump and when Il WSS brought 10 a stop
II was found that about al that was len was the
engine. Both brakes were broken and useless, all
the lower gears were torn out, - vas the mutier.
Nothing dAunted. however McMuIlen started ahead
and finished his only penSiE alien being for tearing
on the mufner, which was dragging The wonder.
fu part Of this performance is that. being without
low GearS, the little car could not make the high
sand hills, 90 NoMullen backed the car on lie re
verse up nearly every hll In the last 200 miles Of
the run. In addition 10 this. the brakes being out
Of commission. be was forced 10 hit ali the bumps
full speed. and when actually compelled 10 stop did
20 by using the reverse gear. The model G run.
about skidded into a stone on a turn and broke on
= wheel. II finished few minutes after all the
other cars had reported. With the exception Of
Al sNNt ss.Kt..
10 be GensrAIly olGssed ~ coming through clean.
E0t one Of them showed any sign Of structural or
mechanical weakness.
The sun., 1908-05-03
ROAD COACHING.
squadron A whips TO start Their Public
Runs on Tuesday.

buuauTOn n WmpS 10 StATt Ineir PuDuC
Runs on Tuesday.
Manhattans only road coach this season
unless A. G.. Vanderbilt returns for a fall
run with the Venture TO the Ardsley Club
promises 10 be the regimental Squadron.
Tho Squadron will resume on Tuesday for
the sixth season the tTi-weekly trips from
the Savoy Hotel 10 the Van Cortlandt Park
polo field. II Ia kept up by members Of
Squadron A, Cavalry. n. g. n. Y. The
route is an interesting one. Going out it
il through Central Park and Seventh avenue
to Manhattan avenue. then by st, Nicholas
avenue and l55th street to Lafayette BOule-
ward and through KinRsbridge TO Van Cort-
landt. Homeward bound the route is from
Kingsbridge along Broadway TO the ViaduCt
and Riverside Drive, crOBsin IL throu gh Seventy
second street and Central Park to the Savoy
Tuesday and Thursday the starting, time
will he 335 clock In the afternoon and the
Squadron will reach the polo field at o clock
Saturday the coach leaves at 2A5 and arrives
at 4 O'Clock On all days the coach will leave
at the Savoy one hour and fifteen minutes
later. The passengers are able 70 watch
the Squadron A polo matches played on those
afternoons On the coaching committee to
who is also identined with Nassau county
road coaching 4. r. Whitney, Jr.,- Goelet
Gallatin, J. II. Alexandra, Jr, and William
MacNauRhton.
The change Of horses on the out trip will
be at iSOth street and st. Nicholas avenue
and on the return trip at lteth street and
Broad way, The whips are all members Of
Squadron A and the horses In all the teams
have been taken from the arnory, where
they have been used throughout the winter
in the regular drills. The cavalry horses
according 20 the regulations are undocked
but with their tails bound up the teams look
as sporty as those OF any English road coach
The coach is open 70 tie public and will seat
twelve passengers In addition 10 the COACH
man and guard