davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-21
AN UNDERGROUND RIVER.

A queer freak of nature that for
years has been a curiosity in the
country seven miles south of Sana-
way Lake, near Tacoma, WASH, is
an underground river flowing thirty
five feet below the surface. Here
and there the river has been tapped
by ranchers digging wells. The water
is clear and almost icy cold, and as
good for domestic use as any water
in the State. A notable example of
the bottom of a we'll dropping into
this river is on the farm of John
Rhorer, about six miles from Sana-
way Lake.
When digging the well number
of years ago, Rhorer had trouble with
the workmen he employed. The man
down in the we'll complained of hear
ing persistent roaring that seemed
to come from the bowels of the earth
and increased as the hole was sunk
lower. Finally he refused to dig any
longer in the we'll and Rhorer him
self was lowered to WELD the pick and
shovel. Half an hour passed and
Rhorer yelled to be hoisted out. He
was scared but went back into the
we'll. He found that the roaring
periodically increased and decreased.
When at its maximum 1t was so great
that he would hurry to the top.
Work stopped one night when the
we'll was at depth of IS feet. The
next morning Rhorer, in going to
the barn heard a roaring in the direc-
ton of the we'll, and upon going to
the spot found the bottom of the we'll
had fallen out and a stream of water
rushing through. There was no more
we'll digging, and Rhorer has always
had an excellent supply of water. No
fish or any other life has ever been
caught out of the river, and old set
tiers believe the stream has its head
from the glaciers of Mount Rainier.
1t is supposed to empty into the
Sound.
MorHER-"Just run upstairs, Tom
my, and fetch baby's nightgown."
Tommy-"Don't want to-"
Mother-"Oh, we'll, if your going
to be unkind to your new little sister,
she'll put on her wings and fly back
again to heaven.
Tommy-"Then let her put on
her wings and fetch her nightgown W
INQU1RING 1ady-"H ow m uc b
milk does your COW give dayl"
Truthful Boy" Bout eight quarts,
lady,"
Iuquiring lady-"And how much
of that do you sell?"
Truthful Boy-"Bout twelve
quarts, lady,"
JUDGE-"Have you anything to
offer to the court before sentence is
passed."
Prisoner-'No, judge. I had ten
dollars, but my lawyer took that"
AN Irishman once said II think
the happiest period of married life is
| the time just before you are married. "
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-21
A REASONABLE DOUBT.

Not long ago an Irishman whose
hand had been badly mangled in an
accident entered the Boston City Hos
pital Relief Station in a great hurry.
He stepped up to the man in charge
and inquired:
''Is this the Relief Station, sor?"
eyes. What is your name?"
"Patrick O'Connor, sor?"
care you married." questioned the
officer.
"Yis, sor, but is this the Relief
Station?" Hewas nursing his handin
agony
"Of course it is. How many chill
dren have your"
Eight, Sor. But sure, this is the
Relief Station?"
eyes, it is," replied the official,
growing a little angry at the mans
persistence.
"Well." said Patrick, "sure. an I
was beginning to think that it might
be the pumping-station I"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-21

JuDGE-"Have you anything to
offer to the court before sentence is
passed."
Prisoner-"No, judge. had ten
dollars, but my lawyer took that"
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16

provement. In only one sense are we
drifting toward a system associated
with a monarch, and that is in central
ization OF power. But this has fol
lowed naturally from the immensely
OF the territory which the federal pow
er has to regulate.
AS 1t stands our system is, speaking
broadly, as near to perfection as any
in the world. Under the best govern
ments Of Europe the monarchs are
merely hereditary presidents. What
ever advantage there may be In that
feature Of a constitutional monarchy
could be secured here by extending the
term Of the president so that a single
administration would have time to
formulate and execute distinctive poll.
cies. But our Improvement must come
from below, not from the top. A
square DEAF at the White House
cannot reach very far. The people
must practice the square deal among
themselves and not be satisfied with
merely shouting when some one high
er up declares for It.
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16
HEYBuRN FINANCES

Citizens OF Occur d'Alene will read
with interest the interview published
elsewhere in which Boyd Hamilton,
cashier OF the Occur dAlene Bank 4
IrusC company shows the fallacy OF
Senator Heyburn's financial bill. The
statements of Mr.. Hamilton so plainly
show an intimate knowledge of finan-
ces that they carry conviction and
convince one that while the senator's
motive is of the best, he is sailing on
the financial sea without chart or
logbook. He has not given the Ques-
ton the deep thought its Importance
demanded before introducing his
bill In congress.
We presume the circular letter re-
ceived by 80 many of our citizens on
,he subject of his bill is the same as
the private letter" which the editor
of the Joker received and published.
II 30 we believe Mr.. Hamilton has
properly dlssected the letter and
there Is very little Of IL left.
Senator Heyburn's financial bill
does not show the thought that he
gave TO his pure food bill and will
not stand the test as did the latter
measure.
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16
The Way to the station.

A party Of automobiles was tour
ing through Virginia. An accident to
the car forced them to take a train
home. As they walked down the road
seeking some one from whom they
could inquire their way they met an
old darky, says the Success Magazine,
"Will you kindly direct us to the rail-
road station2" one OF the party asked.
"Cert'n'y. sir" he responded. keep
a.goln' right down dis road till yo' gets
to where two mo- roads branches out.
Den 20 take de lef' one an keep on
a-goin till yo gets to where de ole
postotIlce ulster be-"
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16


Now and then an American rises 70
predict change from a republic to
monarchy for this country. The infer
enee b that things are drifting that
way. The fact Is that nothing short of
q great calamity can bring the people
Of thls country 10 accept anything in
the way Of dictatorship or absolutism.
without absolutism the immediate po-
lAticai effect Of q change would be
scarcely noticeable, but the moral and
social effects would be marked and In
ths end disastrous. Americans as
Fule do hate the idea OF a king less
than they did half a century ago.
When we lived In the shadow Of the
Revolution boys imblbed hatred 'of
kings with their mothers milk. Lads
Of ten or twelve would seriously dis
cuss the relative blessings OF free gov
eFnmsnt over monarchy. II was said
that = king could put a subject in
prison and even take his life at will
30 the American small boy burned
powder on the Fourth In dead earnest.
and be grew mp passionately devoted
10 free institutions.
But In afty years we have learned a
good deal about monarchies that our
fathers never dreamed OF. Immigrants
from England, Germany, Austria and
the smaller kingdoms have never told
rs that the imprisoning and killing by
their rulers drove them to these shores,
And tens OF thousands Of Americans
have Waited Europe to see for them
selves that people may be prosperous
and happy under kingly rule. We are
not afraid Of kings, and there has
grown up among US a class OF ambl-
tious and snobbish folks who would be
Sad 70 zee the titles and the splendors
q court introduced here. Voices can
readily BE- found to applaud the sug-
gastaon Of royalty seated in washlng-
ten.
But we STARTED wrong TO arrive at
moaarehieal government In any leglti-
mats way. Monarchles the world over
aEo eoming down to our ideas OF repre-
sentative government The peoples Of
TIA old world envy us our phenomenal
prosperity and the unusual encourage
nent for individual initiative and de-
velopment found here. They attributs
these blessings TO our free political In.
settutions, and pretty much the whole
world over has adopted some form OF
constitutional government We have
passed through all the storm and stress
q q struggle for constitutional gov
eminent and won. No one win say
that the results are perfect, but where
IN we fall short there is no monarchy
On earth to give rs a modal for Inn.
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16
Freedom In Trade.

That lawmakers can obtain some
very instructive lessons in business
practices and the principles which un-
derlIe business from what Is passing
on in the iron and steel trade at pres
emit Is the opinion OF the Iron Trade
Review. In nearly all branches Of the
finished steel trade there is an utter
absence Of price competition at a time
when the amount of new business of
fered is but a small fraction OF the
previous normal While the constitu-
tional right Of legislators to make laws
on this subject 10 based on the funda-
mental principle that acts should not
be committed which are In restraint
OF trade, the thought In the minds of
Legislators has been pretty clearly that
Of striving to prevent acts which would
reduce or eliminate price competition.
Upon this proposition the Review
bases the following argument:
Granting for the moment that the con-
stitutional prerogative carries permission
to legislate for the fostering Of price COM
petition. II must be admitted that legis-
lation must be prohibitive and not con-
Btructive. II would be impossible to con-
template a law which should require man.
ufacturers or transportation interests to
compete with each other. II business In
terests cannot be commanded to compete.
then they cannot be commanded not Ia
refrain from competing, and the only pro-
hibition could be that OF definite acts the
commission OF which would be to restrain
competition. II 90. II Ii plainly desirable
that legislators should familiarize them
selves with all methods and acts whereby
business interests might seek to reduce OF
eliminate competition. That they have
not been thus familiar IL the opinion OF
all business men who have expressed
themselves on the subject.
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16
Pen,len nln N.l4h pia.nr...

An innovation was recently sprung
on the senate in the form Of an Illus.
trated pension bin. says a washington
special dispatch to the New Yorh
Times. The author was Senator
Bourne OF Oregon. He d full Of new
IDEAS. and so the senate was not great.
" surprised when be sent q bill to the
desk to increase the pension OF q sol.
aier Of Company d. Forty-ninth infan.
try Of New York. now a resident Of
Oregon. from So to $50 q month
With the bill were two photographs 81
the soldier showing that his left arm
was utterly useless to him as the ~
suit OF bullet wounds received N TIE
civil war.
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16

There 10 q great deal OF inconsist,
ency in the position of organized lab
or In Seattle, It has put the A. Y. p.
fair on the unfair list and is about
to make a big demonstration de-
handing work for the unemployed.
In times Of depression labor should
be conservative in It's demands. rath-
or thru display the radical spirit and
antagonism to 30 great an undertake
ing ~ the Seattle exposition. 1t will
bring millions OF dollars from the
east 70 the coast which means en-
ployment for many men.
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16
How the Brahman Cleans IIls TostI,


When tho Brahman cleans his teeth
he must use small twig cut from one
Of number Of certain trees. and be-
fore he cuts it he must make his act
known to the gods Of the woods. He
must not indulge in this cleanly habit
every day. He must abstain on the
sixth, the eighth, the ninth, the four
teenth, the fifteenth and the last day
Of the moon, on the days Of new and
full moon, on the Tuesday In every
week, on the day of the constellation
under which he was born, on the day
Of the week and on the day Of the
month which correspond with those Of
his birth, at an eclipse, at the conjunc-
ton Of the planets, at the equinOxes
and other unluclIy epochs and also on
the anniversary Of the death of his ia
Their or mother. ANY one who cleans
his teeth with his bit of stick on any
OF the above mentioned days win have
hell as his portion. = "Hlndoo Man
ners," by Able Dubois.
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16

A certain man coming from abroad
was taken up by the smart set.
wen make q lion Of him." quoth
they, "for the distinction he win there
upon reflect upon us"
But the man was too little. II takes
much material to make a lion.
'Then well make a monkey Of him, >
said the smart set determined to have
some exercise for their creative genius
Nor was the world the worse on
For. after all. It Is the contribution &c
the gayety OF nations that Is especially
needed. Puck.
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16
Il may be a strange coincident thai

II may be a strange coincident that
the state board Of examiners has
been passing on Auditor BragaS Is
BILLS for clerk hire for three years
and never discovered that the' were
excessive until the auditor refused
20 issue Illegal warrants ordered by
the board. The boards policy of
rule or ruin Is even extened to re-
publican newspapers Of the state
whose editors are threatened with
the withdrawal OF public patronage
and ostracism unless thes ,blnit to
the boards dictation.
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16

The lists
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16
ROBERT w. COLLINS =: =: ~: . =. ~
Wl Bloch
Farms and frgate Lands
A few of our many special bari
age, Farm and Irrigated Lands

$3&0O-Will take this beautiful plastored resi-.
dence with Eve large rooms, fne bath, hot and
cold water, electric lights, good large pantry
two large clothes closets, very fine large circle
porch in front, also porch In the rear Hne cellar
with concrete wallis also concrete foundation nm.
der house, good barn worth $780, also nice poul-
try yard and house; very pretty lawn This
property Is handsomely located on nne corner
lot loo by 15o feet and all fenced with beauti-
fully designed picket fence. This property is
close In and worth more mousy. Look 1t up.
$9SO--Hers IL q bargain, two fne lots close In
corner with athvee room plastered bunga.
low, fine large clothes closet, large pantry
good porch all nicely finished good cellar, city
water, good barn, beautiful south and east
front. This lie good one.
$8S0-WiH buy this four room cottage, fine lot
DO by lilo feet, very close to school. This is
bargain.
$l26O-Takes this beautiful little home, a neat
little four cottage, we'll built and very close
to high school. This isl snap.
$9OO-Will take this four room cottage, 4 With
large porch, fine lot. Very close in. This Is
bargain
S66O-WiH buy this neat little home. good
two room house, good cellar, good barn and
shed, fine lot all fenced and some nice fruit
trees. Only five blocks from school. A bar
gain.
$26O0-Will take this desirable two story resi-
dence, consisting of seven rooms and good bath,
large pantry and two large porches, electric
lights. good cellar, woodshed and Ice house. This
property is located on very fine corner lot, very
close in, only Eve blocks from post Office, close
to city high school, This is snap.
S66O-Takes this, another snap, four M
story house. fine corner lot, city water. good cell
lar, ell fenced, good location. Look this up.
Residence Lots.
$6O0-Takes two level lots, one corner. Nice
shade trees, three ,blocks from school.
$626-Two very nice level lots, one corner all
fenced and ploweds ready for lawn. ETC. Fine To-
cation, only three blocks from school.
$650-Will take these two beautiful level lots
one corner, south and east front, four blocks
from school.
$226-Each will take these two level corner lots
we'll located. Terms to suit purchaser.
The above lists are only G very few of
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16
$200-EaCh will buy four fine level lots Term.
to suit purchaser.

$2OO-EaCh will buy four fine level lots. Term.
to suit purchaser.
Business Lots.
$60O0-Will buy two very desirable businas.
lots we'll located. These lots have two residence
buildings which are rented for s22 per month
II you are looking for snap this is one.
$l000-Will take this desirable lot, Go by 15o
feet. Very close in None better for The
money.
Acreage
$Y60--Will buy acres Of good level land ad
joining city limits An ideal place for raising
poultry or gardening
$36O--WilI take this 2 acre tract Of level land
with city water for domestic and irrigation pur
$500-Will purchase this very desirable
acre tract Of garden land, all fenced and in cul.
tivation, and well located. City water.
Irrigated Tracts
$225-per acre will give you your choice of four
5acre tracts Of the finest fruit and garden land.
heavy black loan SOIL located in the best part 81
the Avondale Irrigated lands, adjoining tina
beautiful Hayden Lake, only ~ miles from the
city, and only mile from the terminal of The
Hayden Lake Electric Railway, and one half miie
from school and large general store. SUI.
rounding country! all level and many fine inn
provements These tracts are all irrigated by
one of the finest systems in the state of Idaho.
Grain and Fruit Lands
$45-per acre will purchase this $40 acre farm.
$500 cash, balance terms to suit. 16o acres ii
cultivation, all fenced and cross fenced with
I three barbed wire and cedar posts About 80
acres in timothy and clover, 13o acres cultivated
in grain, so acres in pasture, Go in timber
20 acres brush All FIRST class farm land, with
first class improvements, 126 bearing fruit trees
of hest varities all kinds of small fruits, berries
ETC. very fine new ten room residence, large
eisterns, fine barn 34x52 feet, 2 good granaries
machine sheds, ice house, good cellar and other
outbuildings. This is one of the finest farms In
Kootenai county, There is no better ssoil OF i'm
provements. Location is ideal, only ten miles
from Occur d'Aiene city, with railroad touching
one corner. Good school house one-half mile
distance, postoffce ~ miles. Surrounding
country all level. 5000 to $1,000 worth of farm
& machinery goes with the sale. This is bargain.
Look 1t up.
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16
disappointment.

Amateur Sportsman (after shooting
best friendl-TOo bad, too bad. but I
thought you were n deer. The Victim
Don't fret Amateur Sportsman
Don't fretl Why, man, promised my
wife a pair Of horns. illustrated Bits.
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16
No Faloo prldo Ahous n.

'.Hays you got your winter hat ysef-
sEes. bought It last winter, and
T'vO got Il yet" Cleveland Plain
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16
THE Time % Sell.

Mary had q little lamb
And sold q 70 q buyer
And said she did Il cause she thought
That lamb would so no higher.
ETnaNaRnra PsaaA
Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-16

Who waits for opportunity
And when Il mesta him takes q
u not a. good q man a. he
Who doesn't walt, but makes e.
--phllmdelphia PRusa,
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-01-30
TO GUARD CROP STATISTICS.
Giving Them Out in Advance Made
Criminal Offense.

Washington.-At the close of day
of excitement in the house of repre-
sentatives an amendment was added
to the penal code bill, making it a
criminal offense for any officer or
employe of the government to give out
advance information regarding any
crop statistics authorized by law to
be prepared.
The necessary for its adoption was
conceded by nearly every member
who addressed the house, and it's safe
running of the gauntlet was greeted
with applause.
Earlier in the day interest attached
to tilt between Mr.. Dalzell of Penn,
sylvania and Mr.. Randell of Texas
over the latter's amendments prohib
iting senators or members from be-
ing employed by public service cor.
porations. Believing that Mr.. Randel!
had insinuated that he represented
such corporations at this time, Mr..
Dalzell grew indignant and declared
that he had not been employed in such
capacity for 20 years.
The climax of the debate came when
Mr.. Clark of Missouri announced
amid thunderous Democratic applause,
that William ]. Bryan would be
nominated at the Denver convention
while Mr.. Boutell of Illinois aroused
the members ON his side of the house
to a high pitch of enthusiasm by stat
ing that Speaker Cannon would be the
Republican nominee at Chicago in
June.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-01-30
HAD LISTENED TO DADDY.
Force of Example Exemplified in Pre-
cocious Youngster.

There is a certain man living not
far from New York whose temper is
not of the longest, and when he feels
that his rage is justihable he is very
ant to indulge in fluent, versatile and
varied profanity.
And it is when using the telephone
that this talent of his is seen ana
heard at it's maximum Of speed ana
endurance. Central has but to say
"Wire busy nOw," or, Doesn't an
swer," to evoke food Of language
One day he had been having an un-
usually stormy session, and did not
notice that his two.year-old son was
sitting in a corner of the room, his
face rapt and absorbed. A few hours
later the child's mother came in and
was Mortified beyond words to hear
her baby giving voice to a stream OF
expletives, some of which began with
a very large capital D--the rest with
a variety of letters quite unmentlon-
able in this connection. She descended
upon him in righteous wrath.
Don't you ever let me hear yon
use such words again." she said in no
uncertain tones.
why, mother" expostuIated The
baby in an injured voice, I'm tele-
phOning!"
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-01-30
PORTLAND HAS BIG BLAZE
CITY HALL AND PUBLIC BUILDING
IN MAINE CITY BURNED.
Seven Hundred Persons at Pythian
Jubilee in PeriI-Property Loss
Is 100000.

Portland, Me.-A fire which caused
property damage of 100000 Friday
destroyed the city hall and police
buildings and endangered the lives Of
more than 700 persons. Although
known as city hall the building was
divided between city and county of,
fees, while the police building shell
tered the supreme, judicial and mu-
ntcipal courts in addition to the police
department. One Of the most valua-
Bile libraries in the state, the Green
leaf law collection, was completely do
stroyed, with loss estimated at $i9,-
600.
That there were no fatalities is re-
markable, as there were more than
700 persons attending the Western
Maine Knights of Pythias jubilee gath
cred in the auditorium of the city hall
when the flames were discovered. Only
a few persons were hurt, Chief Engi-
neer Melville Eldridge being the only
one known to be seriously injured,
and he was able to direct the fight
against the flames throughout, being
supported by two assistants.
Baltimore, Nd. - Fire Friday
took heavy toll of the members of
the fire department of this city, three
being dead and 16 others more or less
seriously injured. The list of the lat
ter includes the name of George Hol-
ton, chief of the fire department. He
has badly lacerated scalp and inter-
nal injuries. The first hasty examina-
ton indicated. = Vat his skull was frac-
tured, but more careful investigation
showed this not to be the case. The
dead are: Lieut.. Frederick Harman,
William B. Pugh, Charles Frliman, all
firemen.
The financial damage is estimated
by Mayor j. Barry Mahool, who was
on the scene, at 100000.