The Washington herald., 1908-06-28
By THE TROUBLE MAN.

'Tis wise saying. that Never trouble
trouble till trouble troubles YOU" But Il
would have been a wiser thing and GER
tainly more useful. 10 have told us some
way OF avoiding IT, At least. there are \
good many men in Washington who
would pay a large price for just such
information. chief among them being
Gen. Harries, who / am sure would glad
~ give almost anything to learn how to
keep his road free from that which now
causes him loss Of time and money
But one can ind no way Of avoiding Il,
instead. Is continually running right
into IT, We tread upon its toes. scratch
l-s face with our ubiquitous Merry
Widow. besides other more or less Undig
u.hed things. for trouble rides upon the
cars, free of charge, and also free Of
conscience. The Trouble Man is an
other free passenger, and the worst part
Of 20 is that ne looks Just like any other
human being Of the male variety. per
haps a little more abused looking but
really undistingu.shable; SO, instead Of
one there are two trouble men 10 look
out fer.
And yet il may cheer you up some 10
know that after all this last-named spe-
cies OF trouble man is an anudote. An
antIdote that is applied by the street car
company in order 10 make II easier for
its patrons. I am sure II is a comfort
To know that ne does good not only TO
the company which he represents. but
TO the people of Washington as well.
He does so much good in fact. that he
should be offered a vote OF thanks from
US all. from the clerk. hurrying to his
office in the morning down 10 the small
boy who is likewise hurrying to-the cir
Gus or ball game-and in this last he
should have the thanks of our fans as
weu. For if it We're not for the trouble
man where would we be? Tied up in a
long string Of cars measuring from
Georgetown To AuaCostia. True. we get
tied up as IL is, but stop, Think a mo-
ment and you viii realize that Il might
be worse. Indeed. il might. II could ex-
tend all the way 10 Alexandria.
But instead OF that the trouble man
comes TO the front and straiEhteus out
the conglomerated tangle of street cars
milk wagons, small urChinS. sc, and
of we so, changing our bells merrily.
Has n changing Ont" Place.
The trouble mans chief hanging OUT
place is at the corner Of Ninth and +
streets. Wherever the trouble may be
il is telephoned 70 him there. / dare say
you have heard the bell that notifies him
that something is wrong II is in VIII
liams drug store. As it sounds very
much like an automobile gong. you have
probably taken 1t for such and jumped
70 one side. but IL is only an inoffensive
bell So the next time you happen TO hear
H. instead Of looking for a stray auto
| look for man with a hurt expression
coming in the direction of the drug store
and you will discover that noble person
the trouble man.
The first trouble man goes on at 4.30
in the morning, and from then on till
late at night there is always some one
10 keep the work going on. Ii is not only
interesting but instructive 20 follow the
trouble man through one days work. TO
so with him and share his joys (?) and
sorrows.
Coming on at 4:3O he may hear the bell
ring before he has been at his post half
an hour. and hurrying to the phone he
learns that the trolley has broken down
al tie Anacostia bridge The trouble
wagon. which is very much like a fire
engine in that IL is arranged so that the
horses are harnessed in less time than
it takes 20 tell IL. almost. is gotten our
and the trouble force starts over to the
scene of action-or suppressed action. I
should say.
Cars Can Move Again.
Now it may be that they will get over
there and after hard work the wire Will
Nbe Joined and the long line of cars that
has been held up viii proceed upon their
way and then again it may be that
just about two minutes after the message
was sent in, or just time enough for the
force to have gotten well under way. an
other message will come over the wire
TO say it was false alarm. and so the
trouble wagon goes over, and then TO-
turns carrying a bunch OF men with
nothing in their stomachs and less in
their vocabulary.
Behold The small boy enters into the
life of the trouble man with as little re-
gard for his elders as he does into that
Of every one else and as usual he is sup
piled with a generous amount ~ trouble
For a very small, innocent well-meaning
yOungster may come along and tie up a
bunch of cars and proceed home with
tears In his eyes and think that he is the
| injured party. Just let that happy little
chap take his iron hoop and start 10 roll
II in the street, and by accident let it fall
4hro,s~b bo SIo+ nj +bere x-ott have 2 ba