Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1908-07-02
GanderbOne's July Forecast

| am going to ask
For bon mot from Bryan
OF Lincoln. Nebrask.
There was wit in his smile
As'the Peerless One bowed
And stilled the applause
OF the good natured crowd
With wave of his hand;
And he said in his bland,
Oratorical way,
"'We are gathered today
On the bank of the Platte
Where its clear waters lap
The feet of the hills,
As you'll find on the map
His smile was as soft
AS the breeze in the oak,
And the multitude wondered,
Unguessing the joke,
Till he said, "Seeing that
We are right on the Platte,
1t ought to be true
That the country will view
Our party, my friends,
To be just and exact,
AS the only one having
A Platte form in fact"
July was named for julius Caesar
by Mark Antony. Mark was Caesars
protege. His career was very much
like that of Mr.. Taft Caesar liked
him, and whenever he came around
the great dictator would slap him ON
the back with some such exclamation
as Mark, | will make You tribune !"
He kept his word, too, and always de-
livered the goods to Mark at the Rom
an conventions. Mark made the fun
eral oration for Caesar and he stirred
up the Roman populace until it wreck
ed the base ball park looking for Bru-
tus and the rest of the Malta. He was
also the originator of the affinity idea
His affinity was Cleopatra, and every
time he returned from Egypt, his wife
and his mother in-law met him at the
dock with a set of golf clubs He
eventually became virtual ruler of E.
gypt, instituted local option and other
reforms, barged with the queen upon
the moonlit Nile and killed himself
while he was happy, knowing it could
mt last.
The bill sent in by Teddy's side
For services to date,
Has been received and duly filed
Till we can hquidate;
About the third the household bills
viii all come down the line,
But the Democratic party will
Not render us it's White House Bill
Until July the nine
July the Fourth will dawn again,
diverting circumstance, and the bub-
bling boy will light his punk before he
finds his pants. He'll roll down stairs
with screams of joy, contemptuous OF
hurt, and start the battle when he runs
the tail off of his shirt
The youthful cannoneer will charge
his powder by the pound, and while he
does it many kids4lwill boldly crowo
around. He'll light the fuse, and they
will skip; but when they fail to gel
the proper thrill they Il go to see if il
is lighted yet. A loud kerbang sour,
Wy thing a cannon sometimes does anG
the angels looking down will sigh,
by hoky poke, it was"
When England and her tyrant king
Got too almighty skittish,
The angry patriots turned out
And blew up all the British;
And when the 4th comes round again
With no one to forbid it,
We all blow one another up
To show them how we did it.
On the 22nd the sun will enter th,
ZOdiacal sign of Leo the Lion. Thi
will make Mr.. Roosevelt roar, ant
molly coddles, nature fakers rich NAL
efactors, reactionaries and liars will
take to their holes Sea lions will ter
rify the young navy recruit, and labo
will knock off every twenty minute
and rush the growler.
Boys born under Leo make good .har
vest hands and want 81 day. The,
have keen sense of smell, and star
for the house before the meals are hal
cooked. They roar upon very sligh
provocation, never pay their bill unit
the gas is shut off, and generally ge
the lions share of an estate Of appoint
ed administrator.
The music of the binder will
BE heard across the mere,
And the water boy will hunt the shad
And sweetly pound his ear,
The States that voted dry will pant.
And the boozers viii defy
The foe 10 take another vote
In August OF July
The wife and children will repor
where they can swim and sail. an
they'll write for money every tim
the bost takes out the mail They'l