davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
The Cheeky PIainffeId Cook.

A Bucknell University professor was
talking about David Jayne Hill, the
successor in the Berlin embassy to
Charle-nagne Tower.
DIR. HILL" he said. Impressed US
here-you know he was our president
for a number of years-no less with
his wit than with his learning. He
had thought and written on many sub
jects-psychology, rhetoric. socialism,
finance-and to hear him discuss these
subjects was a delight.
Il heard him take down one day an
ultra-socialiStic student
Young man., he said. you and
your extravagant friends remind me,
in your attitude toward capital, of a
Plainheld cooks attitude toward her
mistress. One Christmas time, when
I lived at Plainfeld, a lady sent her
cook out to buy the Christmas turkey.
But when the cook returned had
two chickens.
Martha the lady said, 1 told you
to get turkey, not chicken.
- know, num- Martha answered,
but ! don't like turkey"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
How the Swimmer Floats.

To float go out into the water as far
as your waist, says Country Life in
America. Throw yourself on your back
facing the shore. Hold your chin up as
high as possible. This will submerge
your ears, but don't let this strange
sensation worry you. If the water
| closes over your head simply close
your mouth and remain still and
straight; you will so under for sec
ond only.
Now throw your arms out wide be-
hind your back and throw out your
chest. Hold your chin high. Inhale
through the mouth Exhale through
the nose. You are now in the ideal
floating attitude. Never lift your head
Keep straight and still, chest up, toes
showing, chin high and ears submerged
Try TO float as long as possible. because
this exercise forms the basis. not only
for swimming on the back and for life
saving. but also for sustaining yourself
quietly in the water for hours. A
thirty-minute float is very respectable
performance.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02

sentative Hepburn, of Iowa, has in
hand a plan to regulate dealing in
stocks
Both France and Germany have
adopted radical restrictive measures
relating to dealings in stocks, grain,
cotton and other things on margins,
and their example is being pointed to
by American legislators who are ear
nest in their intention of doing some
thing along the same line. The laws
of France prohibit gambling in several
securities and provide heavy fines and
Imprisonment for infractions thereof
The French penal code also prohibits
corners" or attempts to control the
supply or affect the prices of grain,
-four, bread and other food products.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
Wonderful Increase i'm Power

comparison has recently been made
of the power of the lights in French
lighthouses at various periods in the
last 80 years. In 1874, when only oil
lights were used the highest power was
equal to $4,000 candles In 1882, when
the electric light was introduced, the
power rose to a maximum of $4,000
candles. Since then frequent improve
ments have been made in the electric
lights until at present the most power
full lighthouses project an illumination
nearly equal to 100000 candles.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02

know that there are thousands Of old
maids in this broad land today, lonely
and in despair, each Of whom would
give ten years of her life to recall her
light refusal Of the first and ouly pro-
posal she ever receivedT
He folded his hands behind him and
leaned forward impressively.
And you'll" he solemnly exclaimed.
Gould you make oath that you will
ever receive another proposal Of mar
riage?"
He Strengthened himself with an
abrupt motion and shot his cuffs again.
do you know" he demanded, that
there are more than 100000 old maids
in these United States and that the
number is increasing every day? All,
think of them! Think of them with
pity!''
He leaned forward again impressive
ly, almost tenderly.
what girl knows" he whispered,
but that she will be one of these mil
| lions? Do your"
Was 1t a tear that glistened in her
eye?
do you know" he continued with a
gentle mournfulness, that the number
of old women's homes is increasing in
geometrical progression? That every
| day. every hour, lonely spinsters are
| obliged to seek the refuge offered by
these fast growing institutions?"
He sat down beside her.
Mary" he whispered, ARE you
| aware that the average adult males
income is less than 50 a week-that |
am getting $40. Don't cry, little girl !
It's all right. I'll have you"
And when mother, wondering at the
silence, looked in few minutes later,
he was measuring her for the ring in a
lordly sort of way.-Evening Sun.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
Seeing the Sights.

Even in these days of liberal educa-
ton the young women sometimes show
how confused are the ideas shut up in
their heads. Illustrative of this is the
native blunder which Edmondo de
Amicis recounts in his story of a voy-
age from Genoa to Buenos Ayres:
The captain of the steamer which
numbered the charming young blum
derer among its passengers met her one
morning and said:
Signorina, we cross the tropic of can
Ger, to-day"
"Oh, indeed,' she cried with enthu.
siasm. .'Then we shall see something
at last"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
OKLAHOMA A COTTON STATE.
One of Its Chief Products Was the
Result of Accident.

In the production of cotton Oklahoma
ranks sixth among the States. In 1906
it produced 100000 bales. and 1907
will probably bring it up to fourth
place, says Everybody's.
Oklahoma very nearly overlooked cot
ton, too. The northern men who came
in with the rush didn't think of it as a
cotton country, didn't think of it as
much of anything; in fact, when they
saw the red soil red as clay bank where
log pile has been burned. 1t remained
for a band of obscure Georgia negroes,
ID dire misfortune. to discover its cot
ton qualities and give it one of its chief
sources of wealth.
1t was along about 1890 that negro,
E. 2. McCabe, eX-auditor of Kansas,
with two associates. acquired $40 acres
Of land near Guthrie. laid out town
site and induced some 2,0OO negroes
from the South to settle there. But
the town, having nothing to support 1t,
was a failure; the inhabitants were
scattered Still. few remained, some
of them even acquiring land which the
white man had passed over as worth
less. One day in the fall of 1892 COM
rlittee of these negroes visited Guthrie
and laid before the business men OF
that city a wonderful Story of cotton.
Recognizing in the blackjack soil a
close similarity to that of the Georgia
cotton lands, some of them had planted
a few seeds, which, somehow, had chung
to their effects when they migrated TO
the new country. The result had been
a prolific yield of eXtra-tine cotton and
the committee had come to Guthrie to
solicit aid in sending south for seed
enough to plant crops the following
spring.
No one knew about cotton in Okla
homa and for long time no one would
listen to them. But at length they
found a man who was interested. He
drew others in. carload of seed was
bought and distributed among the ne
groes and in the spring of 1893 the
first cotton crop was planted in Okla
hOma
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
ALFoNSo'S ISLAND PALACE.
Wedding Present in Bay of Arosa
to BE Site of Summer Home.

Wedding Present in Bay of Arosa
to BE Site of Summer Home.
King Alfonso Of Spain Is preparing
to enjoy next summer the odd wedding
present that some wealthy Spanish no.
bleman bestowed on him and Queen
Victoria, says the New York Sun. He
Is having a palace built on the island
of Cortegada in the Bay Of Arosa, op-
posite the port Of Carril and the sum-
mer resort Of Villagarcia, famous for
it's sulphur baths The villa at San
Sebastian, at which he has heretofore
spent a good deal of time each sum-
mer, Is the property of his mother, and
the new summer home is designed to
give the youthful couple place where
they can entertain guests independent
ly.
The island is about three miles and
a half in circumference. It is diversi-
fed in surface and beautifully wooded,
while in all directions it receives cool
ing breezes and commands splendid
views, varying from the broad Allan
tic to the picturesque shores of the
bay. Previous to its purchase for the
king it had population Of seventy
fisher folk, who inhabited eighteen
dwellings. They sold out their rights
to the intending donors, sharing the
desire of the latter, as they put it, to
please their sovereign, upon the one
condition that the Chapel of the linear
nation, a far-famed shrine to which
pilgrims from all the fishing villages
Of the coast resorted, should remain
untouched and should be always aces
sible to pilgrims.
The king has placed the building Of
his palace and the identifying of the
island in the hands Of the marquis de
Viana and a Madrid architect, Senior
Ripolles. The building is to be of semi
Arab design, following the general lines
of some Of the most famous parts of
the Alhambra. The harbor is also to
be developed so that the king can in
dulge in aquatic sports.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
INTERESTING NEWS ITEMS.

New York brewers have announced
that after Jan. ] they will increase the
price of beer 81 a barrel
The Swedish steamer UPLAND. from
Philadelphia for Vera Cruz which
grounded on Chester island. in the Della
ware river. has been hoated
Miss Mary Elizabeth Lewis, who inner
tied a fortune of S1,J00.0O0. has been re-
leased from New York insane asylum
after twenty-five years Incarceration and
" i'll now be allowed to look after her es-
tate.
Special Examiner Marble for the inter
state commerce commission began an in
vestigation of coal rates at Lincoln. Neb.
Complaints were made that the tariffs
from Wyoming to Nebraska were discrim-
inatory.
Judge Hazel in the federal court in
Buffalo refused to continue the temporary
injunction granted on application of the
Delaware, Lackawanna and Western rail-
road, restraining the union switchmen of
the road from striking. The court held
that the company had not shown that the
men were being entreated to break a con-
tract anu I.ldl TIE lHJuHCIIOH consequent
ly could not be held in force.
Dr. Vladimir Sviatlowsky. professor of
political economy in the University of
ST. Petersburg, Russia. reported to the
New York police that he had been de
frauded of $50 when box containing
two quarts of chestnuts were palmed off
on him as one containing valuable dla-
monds.
After a conference between United
States District Attorney Youngs and
James A. Sheffield. representing the
American Sugar Refining Company. it
was announced that the company would
turn over all its books for examination.
The charge for investigation is conspiracy
to defraud the government by false re-
turns on imported raw sugar.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
An 0dd Ioh

Caruso, the great tenor, told at a
dinner in New York how he once tried
to write a grand opera.
1T was in early youth that l made
this attempt" he said. Il knew moth
ing of harmony or counter-point. The
work in consequence was as ludicrous
and absurd aS-aS-"
The tenor laughed
AS the Romans effort to get
job he went on
"A Roman peasant. you know, ap-
piled one day for work to a rich man.
The rich man said:
Have you boat?'
"'Yes sir the peasant answered.
well said the rich man, do you
see that driftwood floating down the
Tiber?'
Yes. sir was the reply.
well, take your boat, row out in
the river. and catch that driftwood,
and I'll give you half of all you get
The peasant jumped into his boat
and worked hard for a while Then
suddenly he stopped and made for the
shore. On being asked the reason for
his return he scowled and said:
THAT wood is just as much mine
as il is his. / am not going to give
him any, so here | am, out of work
again."
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
A GAME IN EARNEST.
Courageous Acting Which Averts
Pnnfe Sea

Courageous Acting Which Averted
Panic mt Sea.
Captain John Theaker of the Earl of
Eldon was homeward bound from Bonn
bay with load of cotton. A large
number of passengers were on board.
About three days out the captain had
good reason to believe that the cotton
was smoldering. Any knowledge of
such catastrophe would cause a gen
eral panic. 1t was impossible to put
back in the teeth of a northeast mon
soon, so theo commander quietly pre-
pared for the inevitable.
The passengers, bored from lack Of
occupation. were amused and interested
when Captain Theaker proposed to play
at having a fire on board. He said that
they would go through all maneuvers
just as If a confagration were taking
place.
The passengers fell in with the sug-
gestion eagerly. The boats were got
ready; provisions were put in. with
water, sails and compasses. The seats
in the various boats were allotted. and
the passengers made up bundles Of the
valuables they considered the most
precious. Thus, quietly, but quickly,
the Joke" was carried out to the full.
When all was ready the captain
calmly told the players that the game
was in earnest and that the ship was
really on fire, with the flames making
toward the powder magazine The
boats were speedily got off. and in less
than an hour the explosion occurred.
The boats were 1000 miles from
land. but the weather remained fair,
and in fourteen days every soul was
landed in safety.-"The Still Life of
the Middle Temple"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
census there was, in the state OF New

census there was, in the state Of New
York. an excess of $4,000 females? Do
you know that II every single male
was married tomorrow there would be
$4,000 females left over? Were you
aware Of this?"
She tapped her little foot upon the
carpet. but answered him not.
And you, madam he cried, wig
Cling his index finger at her. what
guarantee have you that you would
not be one of the 65,oOO?'
She shifted the air, but that was ALL
Madam" he continued, "are you
aware that when a woman has reached
the age of % her chances Of matrimouy
grow less and less each year until
they disappear altogether? Did you
know this?'
He pointed his finger at her again.
And you, madam = he cried. What
ground have you for supposing that
YOUR chances are better than those of
the girl next door or the girl across the
street?'
twenty-five, eh?' she asked
Eyes, %" he said, cycling her
sternly.
Twenty-Five, eh?" she shifted.
With an impatient movement he re-
turned TO his oratorical manner.
do you know said he, that on ac-
count of the unprecedented rise in
rents, food and clothing the number of
marriages is falling off daily? That
every day woman's chance of matri-
mony grows distinctly less, to say moth
Ing OF the decrease in her chances on
account of the increase in her age?
Have you been advised Of this?"
he pointed his inexorable finger at
her and cried:
and you, madam! What right have
you to suppose that you are an exeep-
ton 10 the ruler"
She tried TO pass it off with laugh.
but nevertheless she batter her eyes in
q thoughtful manner.
do you regard an honorable pro-
posal of marriage as an everyday oc-
currenceT he acclaimed. do you
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
Persuasive Statistics


John" she said, Il will be a sis
ter to you, but -"
so it's a throwdown, eh?' asked the
young man with the rosebud In his but
tonhole
Yes" she admitted, frowning. eff
you want to talk about it that way, 1
suppose 1t is"
"All right" he said, don't get warm.
Wait a bit"
He arose to his feet and consulted a
slip of paper which he took from his
pocket. Immediately thereafter he
threw his shoulders back, shot his cuffs
and made a comprehensive genture.
Madam" said he. ''are you aware
that according to the last government
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
ELEVEN YEARS OF ECZEMA.

Hands Cracked and BIeeding-NaiI
Came OFF of FinEer-Cuticurn
Remedies Brought Prompt Relief.
81 had eczema on my hands for
about eleven years. The hands crack
ed open in many places and bled. One
of my fingers was so bad that the nail
came off. I had tried so many rene
dies, and they all had failed to cure
me- 1 had seen three doctors, but got
no relief. Finally got cake of Cuti-
cura Soap, box of Cuticura Ointment
and two bottles of Cuticura Resolvent
Pills OF course I keep Cuticura Soap
all the time for my hands, but the one
cake of Soap and half a box of Cuti-
cura Ointment cured them. l recon-
mend the Cuticura Remedies to all
suffering with eczema. Mrs Eliza A
Wiley. II. F. D. No. ., Liscomb, Ia,
Oct IS. 1906"
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
THE HOMESTEAD.

Girt all about with fence Of white
The low-roofed cottage stands;
Ihere, stretching far, are banks of green,
And yon are fallow lands.
Skyward at eve the swift bird wings
Along its meted way;
There, stars of love look down by night,
A sun of love by day.
Unchanged the wild and singing woods;
The glad brook dances STILL
And echoes as Of yore ring out
The music of the hill.
And where we played the violet grows;
The trout leaps in the stream;
And just as fair as long ago
/ see you in my dream.
All things in earth, and sky, and breeze
To olden days are true;
o playtime maiden, naught has changed
Or passed away, but you!
Youths Companion.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
A Street Incident,

Despite the four inch sole of his left
boot the man limped.
''Shine, boss?''
He looked at his feet. Yes, he need
ed a shine. And, leaning against a
lamp post. he put first one foot and
then the other on the little arabs box
all glittering with bright brass nails.
"How much?'' he said at the end.
"a nickel, boss"
But the cripple tapped with his UNI
brella the thick side of his left boot,
and, smiling awkwardly, he said in a
constrained voice:
But you ought to charge extra for
a thing like that
The boy, without looking up, an
swered in low tone:
"No, a nickel's enough. 1 don't want
to make money out of your hard
luck. New Orleans Times-Democrat
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02

of letters from the interests threatened
to the members of Congress, who are
identified with the proposed restrictive
legislation.
The reason which calls forth these
letters lies in two bills introduced by
Senator Culberson, of Texas, and Rep
resentative Burleson, of the same
State, designed to wipe out speculation
in cotton futures. The bills are identi
cal and while they apply only to cot
ton, as originally drawn, there is like
lihood that if either of them is report
ed out of the committee to which they
have been referred the provisions will
be extended to apply to wheat and 9TH
er grains.
The central idea in the Burleson bill
is the application Of the power to reg
ulate interstate commerce so as to re-
strain telegraph and telephone cOmpa-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02

tracts aimed at in the measure are
made. Heavy penalties provide the
means of restraining the telegraph and
telephone companies. 1t is the conten-
ton of Representative Burleson that if
information of the kind prescribed can
be kept away from the people living
outside New York and New Orleans it
will put the New York Cotton EX-
change out of business. Frankly, it is
admitted, that such is the object of the
bill.
The Boards of Trade in several
cities are aroused. Probably what
they chiefly fear is that public senti-
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
UniUue Babies Hotel.

In one of the squares in the West
End of London is a unique institu.
ton known as The Babies Hotel,
where children whose parents have nc
London home or who are compelled to
live out of England for time are
placed by the day or by the year.
The house is arranged for the re,
ception of little children from one
month old up to seven or eight years
of age, and is intended for the chill.
dren of Indian officers, and others on
foreign service, widowers, widows
lonials or parents who desire a TEN.
porary home for their little ones while
they travel.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
That Terrible Boy.

Mrs. Kerruthers (making a CALI Yes,
indeed, Mrs. Kajones, put in nearly the
whole blessed day in the dentists chair.
Mrs. Kajones-I can sympathize with
you. | know how it hurts.
Mrs. Kerruthers-My dentist hardly
ever hurts me, though. He's so careful
and gentle that l don't mind it at all. l
declare l slept half the time while he was
at work
Johnny Kajones-That dentist wouldn't
never do for NAV. When she goes to
sleep she snores like a thrashin' machine.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
Sla~eS I'm Old Rom

In Rome, in the golden age, a labOrer
only cost 500, and sometimes, after n
great victory and an influx of captives
into the capital. it was possible to buy
strong, capable slaves for So apiece
Skilled slaves, men with trades,
brought higher prices. Cicero paid
$1,000 for a scribe Catiline had a cook
that cost him $500. A gardener was
worth $500. blacksmith $3.50, an actor
$1,000, a physician $10,000-Louisyille
Courier-JOurnal.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
ABsTA1N1Ne FOR CHARITY.
scheme by Which tie Wife Swelled
the Rcceipts.

inc AcceIptS.
A West Philadelphia man who de
termined a few days ago to abstain
totally from strong drink for a period
was persuaded by his wife into finan-
cial arrangement which threatened to
work disastrously
The agreement was that every time
the man refused an invitation to take
a drink he would put the money which
he would probably have spent in re-
turning the compliment into a pocket
reserved for the purpose and give the
contents of the pocket to his wife every
night. She was TO use this money for
charity, and for fear the husband
might not have always the exact
change TO put in the pocket she pro-
vided him with a number of beans to
be used as counters, valued at cents
each, and to save bookkeeping and
memorizing.
The first evening the man got home
he found 10 cents in cash in his pocket
and twenty-three beans. This marked
very exceptional day, the man de
clared, but the next evening he found
the pocket carried one dime and thirty
three beans. Then he alleged that he
would probably have refused some of
the invitations which he had counted
even if he had not been on the water
wagon, whereupon his wife confessed
she had made arrangements with her
father. her brother and her sisters hus-
band TO go to the abstainer every day
as soon as possible with an invitation
TO drink.
Since it all went to charity the hus-
band took the joke, but now though
the arrangement is still on, the wlIe's
receipts from the pocket have materi-
ally essened.-Philadelph Record.
Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-01-02
H0W'S IhiS2

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for
any of Catarrh that cannot be cured by
Halls Catarrh Cure.
f. J. CHENEY & CO, Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned, have known F. j.
Cheney for the last Is years. and believe
him perfectly honorable in all business trans
actions, and financially able to carry out any
obligations made by his firm.
WALDING, KINSAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists. Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces Of the system. Testimonials sent
free. Price, 75c. per bottle. Sold by all
Druggists. -.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation