davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01
STAGE WIT AND HUMOR

If there is one man whose features
should be familiar to every natural
lied citizen in these United States,
that man is Mark Twain, yet there are
those who don't know him from plain
John Smith or everyday Bill Jones.
One evening recently Twain attended
performance of 1.-THE Merry Widow
at the New Amsterdam theater, New
York. 1t was during the intermission
between the first and second acts when
he arose from his seat and proceeded
toward the door that connects the stage
and the box in which he was sitting.
After tugging at the bolt for q minute
the door finally swung open. AS he
was about to enter upon the stage he
was confronted by a large, stalwart
man who Immediately asked his busi-
ness and by what right he even dared
to open the door. The humorist, who
realized then that the stage hand did
not recognize him, introduced himself
and stated that he desired to see
personal friend who was playing in the
company.
"I'm sorry" said the stage hand,
"but you can't see him."
"But, I'm Mark Twain, and I want
20 see my friend"
"lt makes no difference who you are,
you can't come through this door," re-
torted the employe.
"But-eh-but, I'm Mark Twain;
don't you recognize me?"
mo, don't recognize you, and, fur
thermore, I never heard of you. Be-
Jx.gA ferh thc
president of the United States; you
can't come in, and that's all there is
to it,"
Following this little speech the stage
hand slammed the door.
The humorist, always resourceful,
and, believing that where there's will
there's a way, rushed out to the front
of the theater and inquired for Mr..
Henry w. Savage, Mr.. K1aw or Mr..
Erlanger On being informed that
neither happened to be about at that
moment, he consented to unfold his
troubles to Malcolm Douglass, house
manager. After explaining that the
rules prohibited entrance behind tho
scenes from the boxes, Mr.. Douglass
finally consented to make an exception
in this case and he ushered Mr.. Twain
| through the door from which, only
few minutes before, he was abruptly
turned.
AS the couple entered this door the
same stage hand was in attendance,
and when he saw he white-haired
visitor with Mr.. Douglass he took on
a look of disgust and whispered to one
of his associates:
well, kin yer beat dat! And only
last night 1 turned down Marshall T.
Wilder!"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01

ties in the scientific laboratories OF
Germany, but no one outside the trade
has ever seen it done until Miss Nor
ton did it on the stage. The gems are
claimed to be indistinguishable from
the natural product. william Hawtrey
is announced in a playlet, "Compro-
missed" with his own company of five.
Hawtrey's reputation naturally leads.
to high expectations regarding his
vaudeville offering. The -Four Sisters
Amatis offer a musical act, of classic
character. They are pianists and vocal
lists of artistic attainments. One of the
sisters claims to sing the highest note
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01
SOMETHING DOING
SUBJECT OFLECTURE
MELVIN E. TRoTTER TO SPEAK
TODAY
"President of the Down and Out Club"
Visits Los Angeles and viii Ad-
dress Gathering at Temple
Auditorium

Something Doing" will be the topic
of Superintendent Melvin E. Trotter at
Temple auditorium this afternoon at
O'clock.
superintendent Trotter is sometimes
alluded to as the president of the
working under the auspices of the
Union Rescue mission, which is operat-
ing three branches in Los Angeles.
Superintendent Trotter's slogan is
Help to the helpless and q lifting hand
to the fellow who is down." He has
'been there" which, perhaps, Is the
reason he is so universally successful
i'm leading men to better understand
ing of their privileges. Thousands
throughout the United States are at
testing to the worth of his efforts, and
fifteen rescue missions are being OPP
Grated in different states by men who
have been helped from lives of drunk
enness to q life of helpfulneSS and
Christian living.
The men attracted by Mr.. Trotter's
earnestness are not always the so
called "slum element" but represent
every walk in life; in fact, a greater
part of the men who stand for Chris
tianity In these meetings are repre-
sentative Of the business. element and
numbered among his followers are a
very large number of the "Gideons," a
Christian organization of commercial
travellers.
The three rescue missions of Los An
geles are under one central control,
consisting of the Union Rescue mis-
sion. las North Main street; City Res
cue Mission, COG East Fifth street. and
the Sonora Rescue mission, 419 North
Main street.
These missions ha- :, during the past
years, told the story to thousands of
people who would otherwise never
have been reached. THE Helping
Hand'' Is the slogan, augmented with
good practical religion. Something to
help a man to live better and take ad-
vantage of his opportunities.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01

Paris" The comedy has to do with
the assumption of a French nativity
by an ambitious young German who
eventually maries a woman whom he
supposes to be a member of the French
nobility, but who is really q native of
Ireland, also masquerading. Their
fathers arrive. compare notes and trou-
BILE begins. Herb Bell will play the
German father, Billy Onslow the old
Irishman, George Morrell the bogus
Frenchman, Richard <ipling a society
swell, Miss Bessie Tannehill the mas
querading Irish girl, and Miss Nellie
Montgomery an eccentric character
part. Numerous musical interpretations
and a monologue vaudeville turn PROM
Use an entertaining bill.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01

ever attained by the human voice. Her
voice has a range of three and a half
octaves Violet Dale, the charming
mimic, has long been promised and her
appearance at the Orpheum will bring
joy to the men patrons of that theater.
She is billed In limitations of other
condolences. The acts remaining from
the present program are Fred Walton
& Co, Picchiani troupe, the Clarkes
and Czinka Parma.
FISCHER 'S-Herb Bell, "the German
senator" will direct the production at
Fischers next week of IA Day in
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01
MILLIONAIRE DIES AT
LANKERSHIM HOTEL

Jonas r. Brown, wealthy mer-
chant of Minneapolis, died yesterday
afternoon at the Lankershim hotel.
Mr.. Brown was n years of age and
went to Minneapolis fifty years ago.
There he established a wholesale liquor
business at 260 Nicolatt avenue, which
he conducted until two years ago,
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01

est man, and she realizes for the first
time the sham life she has been living.
MASON-Mary Mannering, who has
charmed her audiences in the past by
the coquetry of her Janice and the
sweetness of her Rose Trelawney, will
appear at the Mason opera house this
week in a new play called GLORIOUS
Betsy" from the pen of Rida Johnson
Young. The play tells the love story
of Elizabeth Patterson Of Baltimore
and Jerome Bonaparte. the young
brother of Napoleon, emperor of the
French.
The opening scene shows Betsy with
her father at the old Virginia Sweet
Springs, to which resort Jerome Bona
parte comes incognito. Impressed with
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01

her radiant beauty and sparkling wit
he quickly falls in love with GLORIOUS
Betsy" as her friends call her, and to
be near her he engages himself as her
French tutor. Meanwhile, the ENJOYS
OF Napoleon who have accompanied
Jerome to this country have been dill
gently searching for him. They finally
discover his whereabouts and come to
the springs to induce him to leave
Jerome refuses until the term of his
tutelage is over. which is when Betsy
herself returns to Baltimore, where a
fete has been arranged in young Bona
parties honor, the father of Betsy to
be entertainer.
The scene changes to Betsy's home on
the night of the fete. Jerome arrives
and tells his love. Betsy at first will
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01

citizens met with other residents of
Orange county anC surrounding ter
ritory Friday night. No great diff
culties are anticipated in this improve
ment. which win furnish shipping
facilities for the citrus fruit growers up
the Santa Ana river.
Before the harbor work itself can be
started will come the construction of
jetties at the mouth of the river.
There are eight square miles of still
water inside the bay.
Members of the harbor committee on
their recent visit to Newport bay were
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01

not listen, but her affection for him
finally overcomes her. The approach
of the invited guests now startles them
and together they enter the garden.
Mr.. Patterson, in his franctic search
for his daughter, stumbles upon her In
Jerome's arms. He is wild at the idea
of her marrying q tutor, and no less
surprised than Betsy herself when the
tutor is presented as Jerome Bona
parte.
The following scene shows Betsy and
Jerome with Mr.. Patterson on the frig-
ate La Cigale, which is anchored or
the coast of France awaiting the return
of messengers to Napoleon, who are 10
bring his consent or refusal to Jerome's
marriage. They bring emphatic orders
from the emperor that Jerome shall
come to him at once and atone. Jerome
is Indignant, but Is persuaded to go
ashore and meet his brother. During
his absence Napoleon boards the ship.
He tells Betsy that she must renounce
Jerome, and argues that her sacrince
is for France He reminds her that
she. as an American girl owes debt
the debt of Lafayette-to France,
whose women did not hesitate to give
I'D their own lovers, husbands and
fathers in Americas hour of need. He
tells her that it is necessary for the
welfare of France that Jerome should
marry the princess of Wurtemberg,
and he pleads with her to renounce her
lover.
The final act brings us back to Betsy's
home in Baltimore. All are awaiting
the return of tho Pattersons. Anxiously
awaiting Betsy's arrival are her old
admirers who have already learned
much of what has happened In France
from John c. Calhoun, who has pre-
ceded Betsy by an earlier boat. With
Calhoun has come Jerome Bonaparte,
who is hidden in the arbor in which
they were first plighted. On Betsy's
return the two meet and all encs
happily.
ORPHEUM-Rubies and sapphires
made on the stage in full view of the
audience by a pretty young woman,
who afterward distributes the product
among the audience-such Is the nov
city offered by the Orpheum for the
week commencing with tomorrow's
matinee. 1t is we'll known that these
gems are made in commercial quanti-
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01
RattIefieId Loalc

Among the men who served with
Roosevelt's Rough Riders in Cuba was
little Dutch Jew, who. according to
the men in his own troop, was the
very incarnation Of cool. impudent
bravado in fight" He was consist
ent fatalist.
One day he observed a comrade
lodging spent bullet that had
whistled uncomfortably close to him.
Watts de use to todge dem pullets ?"
sang out the little jew. "Dey'll hit you
shut as veil we're you are as we're you
't!"-Everybody' Magazine.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01

when he sold his business and retired.
He came to Los Angeles in Novem-
ber last year with his wife. They ex-
pected to remain during the winter. as
had been their custom for the last fif-
teen years. For the past few weeks
Mr.. Brown had been gradually failing
in health, but was only confined to his
bed a few days when he died.
He leaves an estate valued at a miI-
lion dollars to his wife, his sole sur
viVor.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01
THE MERRY WIDOW WALTZ

Myrtilla, I arise from dreams Of thee.
And modestEy prepare to break my fast
with but slight and rather cursory
Repast.
Above the strains of frying eggs and things,
OF strips Of bacon turning somersaults,
Hear Clara in the kitchen as she sings
The Waltz!
say the waltz. Meseems there is but
7 holt my breakfast and I leave the house.
The hall boy huns waltz. but 1t is none
by strauss
The elevator boy--heavens above
Beside me (who am doping out some
whistles the waltz, before Desbrosses street,
Ten Times.
Here in the shop, from copy boys clear
down
To editors and such. all of them sing
Or whistle at It, There is naught can
drown The Thing.
All day 1T goes. The "Hab mich lieb"
The souIless trio in the restaurant
Plays three times thrice. Can't escape
the strain? 1 Can't.
And then, although it might have been
foreseen,
o ceaseless melody that so distracts!
Whate'er the show, they play the waltz
between the acts
So goes it. Therefore lady, be not hurt,
For full to cloying, is my music cup;
Grant me slight surcease from that waltz.
oh, Myrt. Shut upl
Franklin P. Adams I'm New York Mail
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01
CONTEST
TO BE GIVEN BY UNION

There will be a declanatory contest
under the auspices of the Young Wo-
mans Christian Temperance union
Tuesday evening, March 3, in the AS
bury M u. church, at Worman and
Downey avenues in East Los Angeles.
Eight young people who have been
coached by an elocutionist of this city
will take part. Music will be furnished
by John Brewer, q vocal soloist.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01
Speaking Of Marks

They We're out walking and her arm
was linked in his.
my brother has strawberry on his
arm" she said.
''WelI, he's not ahead of me-" the
gallant replied; 1--WE got a peach on
mine. ."-Yonkers Statesman.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01
BANKRUPT SHOE SALE

The bankrupt shoe stock of M. Les
ser was purchased from the San Fran
cisco Board of Trade for 55c on the
dollar by The Mammoth Shoe House,
and will go on sale, commencing to-
morrow, at their store, 5l9 South
Broadway.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01
Now, Which Did She Mean?

Patience: II hear your sisters beer
getting married again and gone to house
keeping?'
Patrice: "Yes, she has"
"And how does she like her new f1at?'-
Yonkers Statesman.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01

greatly impressed with the POSSIBLE
tiles of great harbor there, and de-
clared 1t more feasible than San Pedro,
on account of the absence of corporate
control of the water front at Newport.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01
MEET TO PLAN HARBOR
AT GREAT NEWPORT BAY
Citizens of Orange County Assemble
at Santa Ana to Discuss Methods
for FurtherIng This
Project

With the intention of developing tho
harbor of Newport bay, Santa Ana
The San Francisco call., 1908-08-21
WHAT DOES THE CITY ATTORNEY rH1NK9

THE San Francisco Recorder raises interesting question
law relative the Sute railway franchise
Market street that might well receive consideration from
City Attorney Long he has fallen asleep
The condition of the old Suter franchise which
United Railroads relies for monopoly of traffic
reads in the following terms
Il shall be lawful for the board of the city and
San francisco to other
either OF the aforesaid distance of blocks
the and conditions specified in the
section OF the civil code Of this This section shall
and companies well corporations
Keeping alive the dummy corporation the United
Railroads contends that under the provision quoted other
be enfranchised competing line Market
street The comment OF the Recorder this
AS fact
granting Of franchises NOT OVER
BUT OVER THE SAME TRACKS If Market
railroad
tracks then under the
BLOCKS OVER THE SANE TRACK NOT TO ONE CORPORATION
BUI TO TWO Section 49, civil code,
Section 40o
railway
tracks and used by railways jointly must
and the tracks for FIVE blocks
S
The of reasoning is revealed NV The
language of the the
between ordinance and the general laws of the
The Call does pretend pass soundness of tbe
made by the Recorder but the point assredv
Of the attention of Mr. Long, whom board of supervisors
has referred the legal aspects OF the his opinion
The San Francisco call., 1908-08-21
A VAUDEVILLE CAMPAIGN

\ r. BRYAN wants million dollars not for himself, but
MI finance the campaign 1t like lot of money, but
lVl fact the legitimate expenses of national have
come TO into big figures. Nobody will quarrel with
these expenditures long they do buy
that purpose the named by Mr. would negligible
Mr. Bryan making interesting experiment in the form
appeal to the farmers and others moderate
for contributions his campaign spirited
critics have called him begga with opprobrous adjectives
attached because OF this appeal but the truth
right in theory if does work practice
Ii the people want to they must themselves pay the shot
Yet fear that Mr. Bryan call will Needed
up TO date 60 confirm that opinion.
The truth that the campaign in the doldrums Even
the south they making gaceess jokes about Mr. Bryans
pagn fund.- and untehed editors playing ping pong with
Hongong gander converted into democratic missionary
rattle The editor of the Charleston Courier
opened the with letter the editor of the Baltimore Sum-
like this:
Editor the Sun Baltimore pb Gbafsten ds.6 C. August de 1908 m
consolidated
will place patriotic disposal of the Sun will paw ali
g expenses OF the gnd and ae him for the benefit of the Bryan
J. C. HEMPHILLp Editor of the News Courier
But the Sun its faith have
OF this unhappy bird which the first gander
politics. South Carolina had the load without help
Maryland and after laboriou advertising the rattle SIS
Tor the good of Mr. Byans campaign They might
better put the gander the stump
Next fifty Nebraska farmers contributing $50 gourd
that looked like big stick Mr..
the big stick, which he said hollow goud this
of thing lends itself rude quite keeping
with the antics OF Mr. Bryans famous trick mule which
with sorrow has unmued New York newspaperman who relieved
the edium OF visit Fairyiew by playing horse All this
interesting way but the methods of the the
tricks OF the church sociabe do stir the blood and
help TO make the rngmaster look ridiculous where he
be imposing and impressive There atmosphere
vile about the performance the joke
Mr. Charles Edman of Francisco visiting
told Mr. Bryan, that California would
and the mule said "Haw hawY
The San Francisco call., 1908-08-21
A RUMINANT INVENTOR

TILBUR WRIGHT the American aviator fulfill
NM the French idea Notwithstanding the marvellous perform
Wv of his aeropane he bubble enthusiasm
and break in adjecves and exclamation points His
of speech cold and and he
enthusiast known chew That unfor-
habit belongs the contempave spite this
outward and visible that Wright belongs the tribe
uinants, the French enthusiasts like imagine hidden fire
moerng beneath the meditatve Reiche
the Paris Figaro him in this extraordinary guise
This cold but of coldne smiling SYM
He TALL thin,
and by
of gold
honorable
arden for Wilbur is fanatic.
natura-does not?-tha Wright should look
bird but he had go make the discovery and
learn the meaning of the gn his blue gold
Wright did sit for this picture 1t taken by main
while He leaned against the barn with his legs and
chewed straw.
The San Francisco call., 1908-08-21
The Insider
Relates how Sam Davis of Nevada increased
business at the Grass Valley postoffice
by yarn describing success OF .aSPercet

-HIS is the time of year when Uncle
Samuel checks up the postal returns and
custom house business and makes new
The San Francisco call., 1908-08-21

the among people familiar with meth
DDS. WelIman writes:
Hearst knife reaching which
of presidential
to be factor
we'll known Hearst of
ticket the field
individual
The Calls with this controversy slight
affect national results because Hearss political influence
gbe One of his published in San Francisco
the ofts influence shown by 63 336
the primary in this city Those figures furnish significant
the Hearst plan of doing politics crafty
magniy Honest republicans do seek support direct
direct that character. Mr. Hearst gnawng
makes of himself unimportan The political
of the Examiner measured by the piu inspiration
and stated by Mr.. Welnan.
The San Francisco call., 1908-08-21
The Smart Set

~ OCIETY is still breathless from
the surprise occasioned by yes
IL terday's delightful announce
ment-that of the engagement of
Mrs. Linda Hoag Bryan and Prentis
Hale-which somehow crept out after
weeks of careful guarding and has set
all the maids and matrons talking at
once. 1t was Mrs. Bryan's original
plan to keep the affair a secret until
she was well started on her wedding
tour, but she is so untiring a hostess
| and so much entertained that it was
| especially difficult for her to keep her
friends in the dark, and even two
months ago there were smiles and
questions and much teasing over her
plans on all Sides She almost sue
| ceeded in her undertaking, however,
for, If rumor is correct the wedding
| will take place in another day or two.
The wedding gown is an exquisite
combination of dark green bengaline
and rich lace. With it a picture hat
of green and black will be worn. The
wedding will take place late in the aft
ernoon and will be witnessed only by
the members of Mrs. Bryans household,
who are her mother, Mrs. William Wal
ter FELTON,; Miss Dora Ness and the
three Bryan children-Hamilton, Car
| Teton and Linda.
/ The members of the younger set, al
/ though wishing the popular matron all
happiness in her new life. are just a
little dubious of the effect of this step
upon the winters festivities. 1t was
confidently expected that Mrs. Bryan
would undertake the work laid down
| by Mrs. Ynez Shorb White last spring
and chaperon the girls of the year
| through a series of cotillons and skat-
ing parties. Whether she will still
| care to undertake this or not is a
grave question. Mr.. Hale and his bride
will make their home for time at
the Fairmont, but they intend to buy
country home in the near future, and
may make their home out of town both
winter and summer.
On Wednesday, September 2. at the
home of her parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
| James Stewart Angus, in Union street.
Miss Betty Angus will become the
bride of st. George Holden. The cere-
mony will take place at $3.50 o'clock
and Will be witnessed only by the fam
| lily and very few intimate friends.
The bride, who is a girl of unusual
charm, will be attended by her sister.
Miss Mary Angus, as maid Of honor.
and by the Misses Lillian Holden and
Marian Wright as bridesmaids. HilIyer
Deuprey will be the best man. After
a short honeymoon Mr.. and Mrs. Holden
will occupy an attractive home in Fill
bert street.-The gift OF the brides
father.
| Captain William smedberg arrived
recently from Walla Walla and has
| been the guest of his sister and brother
in law, Major and Mrs. McIvor, at the
Presidio of Monterey.
Mr.. and Mrs. Fritz F. King, after an
extended sojourn in the east. have re-
turned to their beautiful country home,
| .Rexholme," at Beresford A portion
of their time away was spent at the
naval academy at Annapolis, where
their son, Starr, named after his IA
nous granduncle, won such dis
tinguished honors last year4 Mr.. and
Mrs. Boswell King, who until the last