The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1908-05-06

Il new mcCilanlcdl lOrm.
A French nobleman declares that the
great American fortunes are fast dis
appearing. He is in position TO know.
Alabama suffered great disaster by
storm last week, but the Georgians of
Augusta got theirs this week-the
North Augusta dispensary is closed.
They intend to pave the streets of
Columbia. We know of a place that is
paved with intentions.
A jury recently decided that a finger
was worth $5OO.00. There's a place
we know of where they will sell 'three
fingers for IL cents any time.
About the most inappropriate, mop
perfume, ill-timed thing we have heard
of lately was the set of resolutions ex-
tending sympathy to John G. Capers on
account of the death of his father, the
beloved Bishop Ellison Capers, intro
duced and passed at that negro mess in
Columbia last week, the Republican
State Convention. Surely it must have
shocked the sensibilities of Mr.. Capers
himself as well as of the other decent
men who were SO unfortunate as to be
present.
If men wore such distractions on
their heads as the women have in the
way OF hats this year and wore them
to the theatre and church there would
be the merriest howl ever raised in this
country, yet we poor men must sit back
and suffer in silence, overlooking the
caprices 1--WE can't overlook the hats)
of the women because it's style.
----
Ladies': to make yourselves respecta-
bly, unpopular in this town just start
shopping at ten minutes of six.
Gentlemen: the stores of Laurens
close at six o'clock.
A girl up in Pennsylvania lived to
reach the age of twenty-seven without
seeing a man and then married the first
n she met. Is that coverse proof
of the old adage that familiarity breeds
contempt?
The News and Courier and Columbia
State are still entertaining each other.
Congressman Joseph T. Johnson is
the man. While the other South Caro-
lima representatives secured appropria-
tions for only one town in their respec-
tive districts he worked in both Lau-
rens and Union. The sincere thanks of
the Laurens people are yours, Mr..
johnson.
Secretary Taft is an expert straddlcr.
In a speech in New York last week
when asked what his attitude on wo-
mans suffrage would be if he were
elected President, he replied:
"When | vas a school boy my first
paper was on Woman Suffrage. | was
a strong advocate of it at hat time and
have not changed my mind" This
was received with loud cheers by the
women in the audience; But" o
tinued the Secretary, 81 do not think
the time is yet ripe for giving suffrage
TO women
A contemporary complains that Taft's
StraddIing wearics it. Small wonder,
but we know an old gray mule, neigh
Dor, that could help you out by way Of
illustration and example.
Anderson has an electric theatre
named '"The Peek-a-Boo." But what's
in a name?
Positively and in all seriousness
church going these days, in the morn
ing especially, is very unpleasant and
extremely annoying to the men. When
men do attend church they generally
ike to see the speaker; to accomplish
this now he must go through a series of
gymnastic contortions wholly ipcom-
patible with the religious devotion and
attentive interest that should charac-
terize his worship. Will the ministers
of Laurcns request ladies to remove
their hats?
The Columbia State %admonishes The
News and Courier to heed "the quiet
voices Of the patriots on the hills and
in the valleys Of its State" for "the
people of South Carolina, particularly
the people of rural South Carolina, are
for Bryan" Waving the question of
Bryan or anti-Bryan sentiment in this
State we would inquire when The Column
bia State undertook to voice the senti-
ment of rural South Carolina" Backin
1891 and years thereafter the farmers