Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-10
~1R-R-R-INGw sounded a bell
xxi shrilly in the stiffness.
III pa1ar Oui0Oiac opauo1 his

| tEBk Peter QuiggleS opened his
| eyes with start, then sat
| bolt upright and stared. Not four feet
| from him stood a man with, mask
| over his eyes. He was holding dark
lantern, flashing the light glaringly in
| Peters face.
"How dare you" began the man with
| the mask, offended-"how dare you set
| an alarm clock to go off at the very
moment I'm ransacking the house:
| Dye want to scare me to death? How
do you know but / might be subject
| to heart failure or something and that
the sudden fright
'I-I'm sorry" began Peter humbly.
81 didn't mean to disturb you. Il
can't sleep comfortably on one side ali
the time, you know, and l have to set
the alarm to awaken me SO l can turn
over"
"Oh" said the man apprehendingly.
well don't let it occur again.
'I'll try not to-" replied Peter, oblig-
ingly But, you know" he hesitated,
you can't always fell about that clock.
You can't always anticipate its be,iav-
Tor. 1t is very absentminded clock
and possesses some very peculiar no
tons of its own. Really it is the most
aggravating clock you ever saw. Why,
once / set the alarm for o'clock in
the morning / wished to go to the stu
ton to meet my uncle, you know. He
was very rich bachelor, with no i'm
mediate family. Besides, he was in ex-
ceedingly poor health. And, would you
believe 1t, that miserab bic clock betray
ed the confidence imposed in it?''
, "And your uncle?" asked the man
interestedly.
My uncle was compelled to hunt Inc
up and ring us out of bed. 1t was very
embarrassing. OF course we had TO
make some kind of an explanation.
But unfortunately, you know, my wife
and 1 had no opportunity to consult
together. We told entirely different
stories. That made my uncle sus.
picious.''
Naturally" said the man.
''Then, to make matters worse" re
Sumed Peter. with sigh, my uncle
F., was a chronic story teller, one of those
people who take frenZied delight in
relating a long narrative with a joke
at the end of 1.-THE kind of a joke
you know, that You don't really laugh
at until the next day"
II understand" said the man, tax
ing seat on the edge of the bed re
signedly. 1--WE heard them kind OF
jokes myself. / call 'em vaccination
}. jokes. They have point to 'em al
right, but they don't take until later
Besides, they are pretty near as bat
as having the smallpox"
The man chuckled softly well.
: Peter continued, sat breakfast tina
:, morning this uncle of mine told one O
= his stories. 1t was during the day!
when nearly everybody had one o
: those silly little things they called
chestnut bells. You remembers"
Il Perfectly" said the man.
:. "Well, at the very moment my un
l. Gle sprang his joke and leaned back t,
enjoy our mirth that clock-that I'm
degenerate, malicious clock Pete
laughed long and loudly.
"Don't!' cried the man in a hoars
II whisper, glancing affrightedly about
( You'll arouse the household"
: There isn't anybody else in thi
{ part of.the house." treasured Peter
e but my wife, asleep in the mex
5 room, and she's deaf, you know. Real
Il ~ she is so deaf that l can wear
st red necktie. green checkered trouser
d and purple vest and come home an
hour of the night without awakening
her"
you're lucky" said the man, IAN,
y being lucky
y Lucky" repeated Peter. y I'm S
IS lucky
Never mind about that" interrupt
ed the man. Il was just going to re
mark that l never saw a lucky ma
IN who didn't have money"
8. MONEY!" replied Peter. "Of cours
have money. Really, I've got S
much money that | can't fall dow
! without breaking a bill. you know
Once p
"Just hand 1t over. then" interpose
the Imam with the mask commandingly
DO ! understand that you wish m
to hand my money over to you?
queried Peter cautiously.
That's what l remarked" reptile
the man. "and you'd better be quic
about it if you don't want
'My dear SIR" said Peter impressiv,
ly, ''as one who has specialized NOR
or less successfully, beg to give yo
a little timely advice"
"See here" said the man irritably,
amt going to waste any more tim
with you. I've wasted too much a
ready"
"Why, so you have" remarked Pete
thoughtfully. but you see it isn't e,
actly my fault! l didn't invite yo
here. and. really I'm not insisting upo
your staying. you know. Maybe your
waiting for me to order you out?"
well. you are COOL" said the ma
admiringly.
"Of course I'm COOL" replied Pete
Its very convenient to be cool som
times-on cold winters night. for /
stance. You see. your wife won't p
her feet against you if you are COOL"
II The man with the mask laughed sol