The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-09-06
DRIFTwooD

- Sb = sEf
 The window glass outlook is said to be brighter this season. ways Wsy wssr sSss ispss n1'ss ameshsst for scarf pin?
 adelpnia % to @ take the city hall, which she says is hers by rights; If sne,ii just take along some of the. oficiats Instead. 1t would tickle Philadeipnians A fool and his money are soon rec ognized.
 Tn angling in the matrimonial sea all a woman has to do Is to put little cosmetic on the hook and some fool man will bite
 About the only exercise some men ever take is to split intnitives.
 Montgomery bride who said month ago that she was marrying the best man on earth. now says that Le Is one of the best men in town
 No man ever lived who could take in another mans entire dress to the rrlinutest detail and criticize 1t as se- verely as any woman you meet can pass judgment upon another womanS costume.
 A girl can walk demurely down Dex- ter Avenue, ask a stranger where and tell how outrageousry some man tried to hirt with ner.
 A Philadelphia girl has broken her engagement because the young man sent her d postcard entitled Waiting at the Church" The fellow should have known better--such thing IS too n'- G.a0
 A professor in the Chicago uniyer. sitv advocates the teaching ot dane- nosthng ans in ths nsw pqSl,ff When the old fashioned teachers applied the switches to little bare legs, the pupils jes' nat'ually danced any how.
 A Pennsylyan,a h:E:e :sse a,.s,oIa was ls%:d n;S though its hoof. Rather a choice method of going lame: /
 Money makes the mare go--it also makes the insanity plea go In mur- der case.
 Fiattery is the candle where the best of us get our wings singed
 Always at least try to put up an um- brella for a rainy day
 Oh. no. Arabella. fellows arm Isn't necessarily useless when It has gone to waist"
 What has become of the cld5fash- toned boys who used to eat rock-eandy. string and au1
 Poor Tony Pastor has gone to Pas swears. but but that he does not swear Drofanely! Whats The answer?
 we'll say right now and here don't you dare send in over si0.OO0 to the campaign fund. It won't be accepted while others draw smaii crowd hy turning a crank. Yet they're all mu- sicans. after fashion
 Mrs. Robert c. Ingersoll is trying to establish earthly communication with her dear departed in the spirit world. Wed suggest Ptttsburg as being the most likely point to bring about tn"
 The fish refused to bite for Judge Taft at Middle Bass Island. which sign you can interpret to suit your self.
 georgebailey of the houstonpost has the effrontery to remark that there tembering in Heavenly Houston than there are unbeaten soul-mates so- jeurning in Marvellous Manhattan" Anity dsn Esre ssa %Hy says sas tat ' disnltapS @ % mails forbid the exact opinion.
 May:--I have told everybody about my and Jacks engagement.
 Fay-Have you told Jack yetf
 May-oh-no-but there's plenty of time yet.
 willie. why do you always insist on going to Miss Pennlly's candy
 "oh mamma--because you see like her weigh"
 The trouble with most young men is they try to have frst-rate time on a third-rate salary.
 If you think people never talk about you behind your back. its about time for you to make permanent applica- tion for a bunk In the beetle garage.
 A mollyeoddie, according 10 the small boy, is fellow who will car ry a towel with him out to the ole swimnin' hole.
 The Way We Look At It. Lives of great men oft remind us
 We can make ours great (dont And departing leave behind us
 Our lives bound in Russian calf! But we oft have too much feeling Leaves footprints in the mud reveal
 Canvassing he has to do!
 PHIL H. ARMSTRONG.