Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-06-19
DRIFTVOOD
BYUUE +. VERNON.


The empty gun and the hunter
who mistook his companion for
deer, are back numbers now. The
automobile kills more people.
When folks have been married 25
years, that's silver wedding; fifty
years, a golden wedding But if the
mans dead it S jubilee.
An Olympia man is worrying q
great deal about debts. He is not
worrying about old debts he cannot
pay, but about new ones he can't
contract.
According to reports from various
parts OF the country, the queens of the
May found fur-lined coats very uncom-
ble.-Baltimore american.
1t is quite evident the Amcr;;con
received no report from Puget Sound
The following note was received by
a Seattle gentleman from his Japan
ese cook:
Mr.. JONES:
Am verr sorry no kan 20 bak work for you some
| time yet. EOcier him say me bore Information
Oi lei lung which: hope to meet your aprovel.
| TON kRoNATIscHI.
He was strong and healthy look
ing hobo, and l asked him why he
didn't go to work. This is his re-
ply: Well, it's like dis; amt got
nobody ter look out fer but meself,
an eff | got work | might be depriv-
in a man wiv a wife an lot av kids
of a job?"
An Eastern Washington paper
was responsible for a highly original
performance recently. 1t put por-
ton of divorce case amongst the
Congress matter. The latter is gen.
orally admitted to be dry stuff, but
this is quite the latest method of
Frightening it up.
Two men, apparently farmers, entered
the Rainier-Grand hotel last night, and ,
approaching the clerk, asked how much
it would cost them to stand in the lobby
for few minutes until the rain stopped.
Nothing" replied the clerk.
~ don't care if it rains all night,
now," said ore of the men," this is the
first time l have asked question all
day that it didn't cost me at least a
quarter. ."-Seattle P.-i., Nay %.
From reports, the foregoing as
told by the farmer, was correct. Sc
attic mass- it's visitors pay for all
they saw and heard.
Little Olympia Boy: Mother,
amt father got a queer idea of what
heaven is like?''
Mother: Il don't know, dear
| never heard him say anything about
it,"
well, l did. He told the groc-
cry man that the five days YOU spent
in Seattle, during the visit of the
Atlantic fleet, was like heaven to
him.
A buckwheat pancake, stamped and
addressed to Lewis Dunning, HOquiam,
is novelty awaiting call at the post
office.-Hoquidm Saryer.
If the .Sduyer man doesn't know a
thing about cooking and ever at
tempted to keep bachelor hall
while his wife was visiting her rela-
tives, he will admit, no doubt, that a
stamped with the shoe) and ad-
dressed" Tin swear words) pancake,
is no novelty.
Those people who have hair like
unto the setting sun are coming into
their own in Chicago, at any rate. A
manufacturer in the Windy City, B"
being convinced that red-hair peo-
pie are the smartest in business, has
dismissed the members of his staff
and replaced them with red-haired
men and women. His Office is now
on fire, and the members of the fire
department are holding indignation
meetings.
At school, little Charlie being one
of the geography class, was deeply
interested in learning the points of
the compass. Said the teacher:
You have in front of you the north; !;
on your right. the east; on your left,
the west. What have you behind
you?" After a moments reflection,
Charlie exclaimed: "A patch on my
pants" and to make the information
more binding, Charlie continued
in shamefaced manner: Il knew
you'd see it; I told mamma you
would"
Maud Charley called last even
ing"
Fanny: That's twice in a week,
isn't it?'
Maud: Il suppose he'll come
three times next week?'
Fanny: That's what my brother
says
Maud: And six times the
next?"
Fanny: That's what aunt says. "
Maud: And seven times the
neXt"'
Fanny: That's what father says. "
Maud: And then what?'
Fanny: Then we'll get married;
that's what everybody says.
Maud: And then?'
Fanny: Then | shan't see him
any more of an evening; that's what
mother says.
heard q parent remark the other
day that he couldn t see why natural
history was not taught in schools.
Well, he is not the only parent who
is puzzled as to why science and
natural history should not occupy a
place in the curriculum of many
schools.
Someone has said A mans edu-
cational status is gauged by the
amount of unnecessary knowledge he
possesses.
The value of natural history lies
in fostering an attitude of mind OF
ObservatiOnal alertnesS, Of inquiry
into the meaning of the everyday
facts of the country side, and Of sus-