davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
NOthiHQ to Saw,

The man who had sculptured the
Egyptian sphinx was standing off and
looking at his handiwork.
But what does it mean?" inquired
the bystanders.
The sculptor hesitated.
Il don't know he answered.
Consult your Baedeker."
AS for the sphinx, it grinned slight
ly. but said nothing.-ChiCago Trib-
une.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
Gladstone's Thrift.
was

Gladstone's liberality was
very great, and was curiously accom-
panied by his love of small economies
his determination to have the prop
er discount taken off the price of his
secondhand books, his horror of a
wasted half sheet of note paper, which
almost equaled his detestation of a
wasted te.-Recollections of Sir
Algernon West.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
The Power or Love,

Love as many persons and as many
creatures as you possibly can. Love
is the only power by which you can
make yourself rich in a moral world
-Blackie.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
Ever Notice It?

Church-Do you think women have
a sense of humor?
Gotham-No, l don't.
Don't think a woman can get on
anything funny?"
Il didn't say that. I've seen 'em
get off a street car funny.
Statesman.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
Dark VilIainy.

Office Boy-I bought our fair typ
list bunch O. posies fer her desk ter
day.
Messenger Boy-Wot did youse
loosen up like dat fer?
Office Boy-Tryin ter bait de old
man ter fire de chesty bookkeeper.-
Puck.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
Distinguished Citizen.

Grocery Drummer Tin Yaptcwn
store)-Does that old, fossil who just
departed always wear a near-silk hat?
orekeeper-Always since he won
fifth prize in lim-rick contest three
months ago.-Puck.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
In a Pinch, Use ALIENS Foo7.EAsE

A powder. 1t cures painful, smart
ing, nervous feet and ingrowing nails.
It's the greatest comfort discovery of
the age. Makes new shoes easy. A
certain cure for sweating feet Sold
by all Druggists, Csc. Accept no sub
stitute. Trial package, FREE. Ad-
dress A. S. Olmsted. LIE Roy. N. Y.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
His Great Eaulf

EYES," said the would-be author, I've
taken a home in the country, but it
will be necessary for me to engage
a gardener. There's quite a plot of
ground around the house; too much
for me to handle"
"Yes," replied Crittick, you never
could handle plot. could you?"-
Catholic Standard and Times.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22


last Spring and as I
did not know what
was the matter I
kept going down
and down until I
was a physical wreck.
I b a d smothering
spells, flashes of
heat over the kid
neys and pain in pass
ing the kidney Secre-
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
Too True.
''Pont"

Up
Yes. my SON.
This paper says a man can go
three miles in the air without losing
his breath
Yes, my boy"
why, pop! You can't go up one
flight of stairs without losing you-s!"
-Yonkers Statesman.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
Reason for Surprise.

Shells that a new silk hat you've
got, dear?
He-Yes, love.
What did it COST"
Just eight dollars, dear"
What! eight dollars? And not a
feather on it?"-Yonkers Statesman.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
The Court Crier.

Said the sad melancholy Court Crier
I'm the man fair defendants all hire
To soften the jury
BY weeping like fury,
If 1 amt you can call me a liar!'
Puck.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
Too Polite TO Interrunt.

Police Justice-You saw that cock
fight? Why didn't you stop it and ar
rest the men?
Police Officer-I did, Y'r Amer
afther tn fight was over.-Chicago
Tribune.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22

Garfield Tea cannot but commend itself
to those desiring laxative at once sim
pie, pure, mild, potent and health-giving.
1t is made of Herbs. All drug stores.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
No honestly exerted force can bs
utterly lost.-Froude.

Mrs. Wlnslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething softens the gurus reduces -
nanmation, snays patn cures wind COLO CSC botta.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22

Cause of Mutton's WooIly Taste.
The woolly taste in mutton is said
to be due to slow dressing the car
caSs
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22

The bachelor who takes unto him.
self a wife gives up the simple for the
strenuous life.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
The Trouble.

A man may be religious without be-
longing to a church, but the trouble is
that he generally isn't
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22

Smokers appreciate the quality value of
Lewis Single Binder cigar. Your dealer
or Lewis Factory, Peoria, Ill.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
pettit,s Eve Salve for 25c

aches, congested, infaned or sore eyes. AL
druggists or Howard Bros, Buffalo, n. Y
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22

Men have no rights in the world;
they have only duties.-George Mere
dith.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
SPRING KIDNEY TROUBLE.
vIvidly Described by One Who Has
Suffered from It.

Mrs. H. Mutzabaugh, of Duncannon,
Pa, says: II was sick and miserable all
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22

Perish discretion whenever it inter.
feres with duty.-More.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
Those PeekabooS.

She-Women's clothes are mys-
terry to men, aren't they?
He-Oh, 1 don't know. I can often
see through them.-Cornell Widow.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22

Suit the action to the word and the
word to the MISUNDERSTANDING
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22

The more a man doesn't know the
less he doubts.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
RED CROSS BALL BLUE

Should be in every home. Ask your grocer
for it. Large OF. package only cents
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22

No Footsteps Doaged for Him.
do you believe in chasing sha,
dows?"
You bet do if you can catch EN-
at it baltimore American.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22
Important to Mothers,

Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-04-22

afther tt
Tribune.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06
ONE FOR THE STUMpER

APROPOS of the widespread Temperance
"A wave sweeping the South and Southwest,
Senator Charles \. Culberson of Texas tells a
story of stump speaker in the Lone Star
State whose effectiveness on many occasions
was emphasized by that gift 50 indispensable
to successful campaigners, -repartee.
This Stumper, sad Senator Culberson,
was not at all famous otherwise noted for
any conspcuously faithful adherence to the
rules of the life abstemious. That fact was
well known to a clergyman in the audience,
who sought nulhfy the manifest favor with
which the speakers oratory was being received
by the large gathering OF voters.
"W VIII he gentleman tell me- asked the
preacher in loui voice he in his seat
whether or not he drinks1'
The speaker looked nonpluSsed for a mo-
ment, and the audience Uttered ut his apparent
embarrassment. But his ready wit asserted
itself when he had had time to recover L
will answer the gentleman question, he
responded with a smile the clergyman
bearned with triumphant air; but before
dong so | should like to ask question. Then,
still smiling, his manner unctuously expectant,
Does the gentleman offer the interruption as
an inquiry or as an invitationF
The preacher sat down. concluded Senator
Culberson. And he didn't interrupt again. :"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06
PASTIME AND INFORMATION

went ashore on Wells Beach ON August = the
length of its wandering course being about
four hundred and fifty miles.
Why did two parts of the same ship thus
move in nearly opposite directions when cut
aSunder. The answer throws an interesting
light on some peculiarities of the ocean.
1t appears that the shape of the stern por-
ton of the wrecked vessel was such as to pre-
sent Il much larger area to the wind than
presented by the bow portion. The latter
comparatively little influenced by the wind.
but obeyed the drift of the ocean water. Be
tween the Gulf Stream and the American coast
there IS a current of relatively cold water flow
ing from the north, and it this current
that carried the bow of the ship along the
coast toward the south.
The stern, the other hand rising higher
out OF the water seized by the winds.
whose general course was northeast and north
and they prevailed over the ocean current ano
sent the stern drifting in a direction opposite
to that taken by its severed mate The sud
den change in the course of the stern, which
sent it straight from the vicinity of Matinicue
to the shore below Cape Porpoise, Indicate
probably corresponding change in the direc
ton of the wind.
These wanderings OF the fragments OF
wreck We're not, then, so lawless as the
seemed. There was, indeed, no chance about
the matter. Bow and stern each obeyed it,
controlling force, so that what at first seem
to have been a strange freak of the ele-
ments appears, after all, only as the inevitable
result of the operation of natural laws.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06
STRANGE ADVENTURES OF A WRECK

IN lure, 1909, the German steamship Trave
and the ship Fred b. Taylor were in collision
about one hundred miles southeast of Nam
tucket, and the Taylor was completely cut in
two, so that the bow and the stern parts of the
ship foated apart. This 4 sufficiently
singular occurrence in itself; but the subse-
quent behavior of the divided halves was
more singular still. Being in a frequented
part of the ocean, each part was sighted more
than a score of times by passing vessels within
a few weeks after the accident, and the COM
pliers of the pilot charts at Washington took
advantage of this fact to trace their course
carefully.
Contrary as it may appear to all proba billty
the severed parts of the wrecked ship imme-
diately began to drift in opposite directions.
The bow started off toward the southwest,
while the stern driftcd toward the east.
Finally the bow began to follow the outline
of the coast, keeping about hundred miles
away, it's course turning rapidly southwark
to correspond with the sharp bend in the shore
line at New York Bay On august 90 it was
a hundred miles east of Cape Henlopen, having
travelled some four hundred miles from the
spot where the collision occurred.
In the meantime the stern, after starting
off toward the east, turned northward. passed
Boston hundred miles off the coast on July g.,
and having approached within few miles of
Matinicus Island, sheered off to the west, and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06
INTERNATIONAL HENS

THE advantages that people who live ex-
actly the line between two countries
have in escaping the customs and other regula-
tions of both countries have often been re-
counted. Probably the most picturesque in
stance Of this kind of evasion occurred in the
town of Noga1es, which hes exactly ON the
boundary between Mexico and Arizona
On the United States side of the line in this
town eggs were at time made costly by
the revision of the tariff schedule pertaining
to that product, inasmuch the hens in that
region were chiefly owned on the Mexican
side and were fed by the peasants on cheap
Mexican grain.
One year a Maine Yankee arrived in Nogales
with an eye to business. He was convinced
that his opportunity hay in the high price of
eggs. Accordingly he put up long hen
house exactly across the boundary line. At
the Mexican end he regularly fed his hens
with low priced Mexican grain.
The fowls ate their grain in Mexico, and
then walked across the line into the United
States to lay their eggs. The transaction was,
of course, perfectly legitimate; for the pro-
prietor of the hennery Struggled neither gram
nor eggs. But he awaited himself of high
prices on one side and low prices on the other.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06
ORIGIN OF hip. HIP"

MANY people doubtless think that the cX-
A~A clamatory Hip. hip, hurrah!" suggest
a vigorous slap of that part of the ANATOMY
along with explosion OF spirits. Indeed, it i
very reasonable to suppose that the person
excited enough to lead up to his hurrah with .
prelude might very well strike his hip in lieu
of hugging himself in his delight. But the ex-
PLANTATION of the term has nothing to do with
anatomy.
During the stirring times of the Crusade
the chivalry OF Europe was excited to arm
by the infammatory appeals of Peter tn,
Hermit. And while he was preaching tn,
Crusade this furious zealot was accustomc
to exhibit a banner emblazoned with the let
tiers H. E. p, the initials of the Latin word
Hierosolymd est perdhd Jerusalem is de
stroyed). The people in some of the coun
tries that he visited, not being acquainte,
with Latin, read and pronounced the mscriI
ton as one word, Hep. The followers of The
Hermit were accustomed. whenever an unfor
tunate Jew appeared in the streets, to raise
the cry, Hep, hep, hurrah" to hunt hin:
down and flash their swords on the defense
less Israelite in token that by his death Wa
typitied the result which they desired more
than to be charitable.
So the modern Xclamation-corrupted II
its vowel, to be sure-both suggests Jew
persecution and bit OF Middle Ages fanati-
cism.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06
SOME EARLY TRAVELLERS

ALLAN, or .Elian,,s, who lived about \. d.
- eoo-e3o, writes of a continent of i'm
mcnsc dimensions, even without limits, stu
ated beyond Europe, Asia, and Africa, 50
luxuriant to produce animals of prodigious
size, and he speaks of one city there contain
ing more than million inhabitants having
gold and silver in vast quantities.
IIanno who flourshed when the Carthagini-
ans were in their greatest prosperity, is be-
loved to have been born one hundred and
forty years before the founding of Rome,
which would be about eight hundred years
before our era. He an officer OF great
enterprise, having sailed round and explored
the coast of Africa. He set out from the
Pillars of Hercules, now called the Straits of
Gibraltar, and sailed westward thirty days.
Hence it is inferred by many that he must
have visited America, some of its islands
He wrote book which he entitled Periplus,"
giving an account of his voyages, which was
translated and published about 1888 in the
Greek language.
Many, and not without some good reasons
believe than an island or continent existe in
the Atlantic Ocean about this period, which
disappeared afterward. DiCdorus S:culus says
that some " I'henicians were cast upon /. most
fertile island opposite to Africa" Of his,
he SAYS, they kept the most studied secrecy,
which was doubtless occasion d by their jeal-
ousy of the advantage the discovery might
be to neighboring nations. This author
lived about one hundred years before the
Christian era.
Islands lying west of Europe and Africa
are certainly mentioned by Homer and Hor-
ace. They were called Atlantdes, and we're
supposed to be about ten thousand furlongs
from Africa He-c existed the poets tabled
Elysian fields. To quote again from Diodorus:
Toward Africa, and to the west of It is an
immense island in the broad sea, many days
sail from Lydia Its soil is very fertile, and
it's surface varicgatcd with mountains and
valleys. Its coasts are indcnted with many
navigablc rivers. and its fields are well cult
waited; delicious gardens, and various kinds
of plants and trees" He finally sets it down
as the finest country known, where the in
habitants have spacious dwellings, and every
thing in the greatest plenty. This account of
Diodorus corresponds with that given OF the
Mexicans when first known to the Spaniards,
and also compares equally as well with the
CanarieS
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06
CHIRpS OF A CHERUB

WHEN we cash up unrecognized emporium
w ties an. vain regrets, we find life's failure
on the debit side
\ man who reforms for woman's SAX
may 90 to the dcmnition bowwows for the
next woman who comes along.
When people find it necessary to boast.
you may be it is the only way Others ever
learned they had nothing to boast of.
The coward puts up big bluff; the courage
Gus man talks last.
Kiss and make up and then forget:
The heart may break through vain regret
The world owes every man living: but he
must hustle to collect the debt
| have no confidence in people who Away
are doing something mean from a sense al
duty"
You may reform u hardened old reprobate
but fool or a saint is hopeless proposition.
The friend who criticizeS entertainS
good opinion of self and poor one of us
Flattery is the tribute that vanity exact
from friendship.
The pessmist often would like to read the
sun the riot act for daring to shine.
We may trap Bird but we cannot force
it to eat from our hand.
When Il woman IlealiZeS Il man she Shout.
be bullet proof against shocks and surprise
Kate Ihps0n Mar
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06
OCULAR GEOGRAPHY

Is Austro-Hungary9 Let her have
Of Turkey quite a piece;
And serve it with some Barbary jell,
And not too much of Greece.
Perchance a Mesopotamia
Would Sweden up her smiles;
If not, let Madagascar if
She'll have some Sandwich Isles.
Is Chill saucy! Let her pause.
Or she Malacca friend
Some day when her New Zealand strength
Peru-ses its sad end
For Ecuador may then be closed,
While Chill, with groan,
Sees Paraguay and Uruguay
And leave her all alone.
Who knows Just what the Tunis that
The Portuguese all sing9
And do the Michiganders try
The air while on the wing?
The way in which Vespucci planned
To get the laugh on us
hnd tie his name to this fair land
Proved him Americas.
NIXON Waterman
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-09-06
A PATHETIC APPEAL

THE disappearance of another horse car hne
from the streets of New York recently
brought up many interesting recollection>
concerning that Anticipated method of trans
portaton. During the early days many u
the conductors made money by knocking
down" fares. At one time the evil became So
great that it was difficult to tell whom to trust
An old fellow who was in hard luck foun',
that it was necessary to get employment
conductor and he went to the president 81
one OF the companies and asked him for =
position.
DO You really want the job, Bill?" askcG
the president.
II do indeed"
"AIl right, Bill he answered, you
have it; but for Heavens sake bring bacE
the car
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-10-29

Lieutenant Governor John G.. Nc
Kinlcy addressed a large and intelli-
gent audience at the court house
Wednesday night OF last week on the
issues Of the day, conceded by those
present to be the best speech Of the
campaign and changing the sentiment
largely in his favor tor United States
Senator. for which high Office he is a
Candlda1. The Governor is doing a
ap.endid work for his party all over
the state and will undoubtedly be the
choice of the Republlcan~of Missouri
for United States Senator. Give him
your vote.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-10-29
A Square Deal.

We believe the voters in Moreal
township believe in a square deal,
and if they do they will elect J. W.
McClelland, Justice Of the Peace next
Tuesday. He is worthy and well
qualified for the position, the Demo-
crazy already has one, the Republic
are entitled to one, so just see
to it that you give him a vote and
help to elect him.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-10-29
Paying Up Time.

It is getting along to the time Of
gear when most people pay up and
renew their subscriptions and make
elections for their winter reading.
We offer our readers some splendid
combinations at low rates. Those
who find by the date that they are
nearly a year behind will confer a
favor by squaring up before we are
compelled to take the name from the
list, and so ave US trouble. Quite a
number OF subscriptions expire next
month. We would like to have
very ono Of them new for a year..
While the Republican, is not up to Our
idea of what it should be, yet, under
the popular idea OF what a newspaper
should be, it is the only newspaper
published in Morgan county, and
5lves you much more for your money
han you a find elsewhere. Sub
,cribe for it, pay for it, and induce
'our neighbor to do the same, and
ne will be able to improve it until it
Is just like it should be.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-10-29
To VCta rUr United States Sena.

The question having arisen. ~heth-
or a man can .go,e ior a candidate for
u. :. Senator on y ticket other than
the n he votes the following section
of law settles the case II, the negative.
"lhe voter may scratch out the
names Of candidates for the United
States Senate on n ticket and vote
Tor some person not on any ticket, by
writing said name underneath those
scratched out. and said vote shall be
counted for the personth thus voted for;
but no voter can vote on ticket for
any candidate for United States Sen
ator whose name officially appears on
any other tickct."-Eiccuons, Pri-
l.. $. Senator, Session Acts,
1907, p. 263; Section 4.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-10-29
How To Vote.

For the benefit Of any of our read
rs who have moved into the state
,'ncc the last election, and are not
'c' used to the Missouri way OF vot-
ng, We give the following:
When you 90 to vote o will be
gwen a bunch of sever tickets. (Thc
-eason why 1t would be foolish to try
70 find ont.) If you are a Republi-
IN select the Republican ticket, lay
ng the others aside. Start in at the
sad, oi the ticket and draw a line
through the name OF each candidate.
TOR United states Senator, except the
&c you wish to vote for. I'VE adj
isc a vote tor John &. MCKinley.)
IN the National and State ticket it IS
.iot nIrly you viii want to do any
'cratthing, but If you do just erase
he printed name and write in below
the name Of the man you wish to
Jtc for. On the amendments YOU
H't,i era . the No on those you wish
y 2plC tor. and the Yes on those Won
80. ia vote aBallst, otherwise your
~ a,l poU be counted. On the
1lh.y Ucxet you do as you did on
III" National and State tickets, use
y u judgment and ,oteaccordingly.
Remember it is necessary to draw
" line through ~cvecEuang and every
"rdY YOU are again,t-no cross, circle
u other mark a: the side will count.
Read the constitutional amendments
on another page and get. posted, for
,"n won't have tine when voting. As
"a - We ean Judge would advise vot-
NJ ,'opa all these. Whsc ypn have
~ !'a!'h fixed 10 suit yosGT fpld !,
'r"'tte ;~ai..alG Q. the judges may
be- fcea, .s'tt I !! Jour right hand,
'"d the ottcr baitp., loose in your
'"!' baud. approach The receiving
ItEes an they will relieve o ui
8 - load and allow o to depart.