The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1908-11-05

strangle the blooming thing and end
the bout. was successful. He who
knows the suttieties of the hammer
lock will assent to its potency. But
purgatory for my adversary was the
end l sought, and worked in stiff
strangle with my right leg while l ap-
piled the hammerlock to this crippled
scion of ancient pottery. Then l picked /
it up and threw it out of the window.
My composure was al considerable
discount when again sank back to
my erstwhile reposing aud sought to
gather again the delicate threads of |
the dream which had temporarily van
ished. Aiasi the comfort of solitude
is mirage on the desert of life.
Scarcely had l ,reinsconced myself
and reined in my prancing emotions,
when my growing anticip ations of more
rapture were abruptly shattered by a
great tumult in the corridor just out
side my door. l sprang instantly to
my feet aquiver with disgust and con-
tempt and strobe forth nightly with
the avoWed intention of reducing every
living soul to powdered alumni. AS
bounded across the threshold great
gaudy object shot toward me at terrific
momentum and the rude shock of i'm
pingment which followed lifted my
senses almost to the box Office of eter
nifty.
The first impression recurring to me
was strange opinion that had been
transformed into All unwleldly mass of
parboiled fish glue. Then radiance Of
returning life began to pierce the
translucsncy and shortly my faculties
were active-extremely active. For
standing opposite me with distended
nOstrils and glaring eyes was that in
sane woman OF street-mob nOtoriety.
My heart, my soul and my liver all
huddled together in awful suspense as
I realized the import of her presence.
For clinging to the sad remains of her
once pOmpOus coiffure l recognized a
quarter section of that exiled cuspidOr.
Moments were precious for life was
sweet, and the amazon was advancing.
A terrifying thought sped thru my
reason. The lady Was armed-yes and
thrice armed, for in one hand she bran
dished another quarter section of that
, Florentlne cuspidor and in the other
hand waved an abbreviated lamp post.
| must plead. l must implore, II ust
!, humble myself abjectly-in short,
must pay any price for safe haven
T On she came-uO Oquestions-nOt threats
slave mercy" cried as with vicious
| sweep she sought my cerebrum.
eased a trifle to statboard and come t.
safe, but the next Instant darkness
$ settled around me and began to sink
;, 1t seemed to me that all the railway
: systems in the world were concentrated
f in gigantic activity in the retina of my
7 left eye. Speak not to me OF reverber
: ating peals that resounded of old from
: Olympic heights. Mock not the sane
0 tity OF my empire with vain drive lliugi
Q over ancient Vulcan's mighty shafts
q aud whisper if you speak at all o.
Ethen Aliens thunderous tones before
{ TicOnderOga-fO in awful truth / sa,
J. to. you that all their roaring, grinding
i catapulting wonders dwihdle to th'
feeble sighs of haif-lipped turtle dow
j. in comparison with, the confusion O
d tremendous forces vibrating at m.
J. optic terminal. Faster and deeper
it sank. The darkness became supreme
l My head was the world and every liv
q ing, moving, shocking thing thereon
Is WAS in feverish action. My mind Wa
| the master mind and contemplate
J. declaring u dividend of 1000 per cen
\. on every piece OF corporation litho
d graph that was ever issued and be
L. lieve that the fiscal earning capacit
h. OF the industries supported woul
= have amortized such Hn obligation an
u afforded surplus Of more gold tina
10 was ever dreamed of.
of Then it suddenly occurred. to- m
10 that l was shrinking Within mysel
In aud the process was irresistible. Slow
H. ~, eveiiy, and surely was bein
K reduced divided, subtracted aud cry
n tsl,zed--l tried to recall the multipIic'
ID tion table. but could not remember
e. single number. Then bethought N