davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
A Testimonial Requested.

Stories at the expense of the woman
suffragists are innumerable. One man
has noticed that his sister is making
inroads upon his haberdashery. He
complains that she might at least give
him testimonial.
What do you mean?" asked the
lady.
"Well, you might say something like
this: Dear Jack-Since using your
shirts and collars I am a new wo.
man."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
A Sure Cure.

Fatley-That obesity doctor you
sent me to is charging me 5000 for one
consultation, and he's given me no
prescription, either
Flint-That's his method of treat
ment. He sends you laundering big
bill to worry over and you get thin.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
Pharmaceutical Note.

Pharmaceutical Note.
The chemist had just made up a
prescription.
''I'd like a copy Of that prescrip.
tion," said the customer.
''Then you'll have to get 1t from the
DOCTOR" said the pill compiler. II
never could read his writing!"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
ExorbItant.

Exorbltant.
Compared with former years." said
the man who did the family market
ing, "the price Of beef during the past
twelve months has beeh something
fierce" s,
That's what" agreed the amateur
spo,tsman; when was cunning sew
ersl months ago shot COW, and the
farmers charge was frightful."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
A Poor Provider.

The Kentucky colonel pointed with
extreme disgust at man across the
street Then he said:
There goes that fellow Simpson
with a tifty-pound sack of -four, and
I'll bet he hasn't drop of liquor in
the house."
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
Or. J. II. RINDLAU5. (speclaIist),
Eye, Ear, Nose and Throat,
Fargo, N. D.
How He Advertised.

HOW He NoVeFtISeo.
Wifie-Be sure to advertise for Fido
in the morning newspapers.
Next day the wife read as follows in
the newspapers: g.
'.Lost-A NANCY lapdog, with one
eye and no tail. Too fat to walk. An
swers to the name of Fido. If return.
ed stuffed. large reward"
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21

Friendship may have the true ring.
but the ring of courtship is more ex-
pensive.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
CareIessness.

Brown-Ah! they've just dropped
the anchor.
Mrs. B.-And served 'em right! It's
been dangling outside all the morn
ing.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
Quite 60.

Julius Caesar, young gentlemen, re-
formed the calendar. What may we
surmise from this?" M
THAT he was good politician and
stuck to harmless issues" answer the
class as one man.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
Nearly a Billion.

Nearly Billion.
Secretary H. F. Cellarius Of Cincin.
natl in his annual report says the
building and loan associations of the
United States have increased approx
imately $55,O00,OOO in assets in 1907.
50 they now care for $72S,000 900 of
th0e peoples savings.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
From Sisters Viewpoint.

1T all depends on the point OF view. :.
remarked q dispenser Of near wisdom.
Lets have it, ys ~
Spending 10 cents on your sister 10
stinginess: spending the same amount
on another girl - riotous extrava.
eance ~ 4;
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
How Could She Expect II?

Nv" 00U'0 Otto GNPSCt I1!
Lady-The last fish had from you
didn't seem very fresh.
Fishmonger-Well, mum, how can
can you expect fresh fish from salt
water?
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21

All the training in the world will
not make duck swan.
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21

singly on the freshly dropped dung of
cattle. chiefly during the warm hours
of the day. They are one-twentieth of
an inch in length, brown in color and
are not easily seen when laid. The
young maggots hatch from the eggs
in less than "a hours and at once bur-
row a short distance beneath the sur
face of the dung. Here they remain
until full grown, feeding on the liquid
portions Of the manure. This is their
only food, and all stories about their
boring into the horns, etc., are untrue.
When the maggots are full-grown,
which takes about week, they are
three.efghths Of an inch in length,
shaped as shown in b, and are dirty
white color. They descend short dis
lance into the ground to pupate, and
the dark brown pupa-cases are one.
eighth Of an inch in length. During
the hot weather of summer the pupal
state lasts only four or five days, but
the last brood passes the winter in
this condition short distance beneath
the surface of the ground, and the flies
emerge in the spring. The perfect in
sect (d) male, is shaped much like the
common cattle fly (Stomoxys calci-
trams), or the house fly; but it is
smaller. being only one-sixteenth of an
inch in length, or about one-third the
size Of these insects. The head con-
sists almost entirely Of the dark-red
silvery edged eyes, but bears on it's
lower surface the black dagger-shaped
tongue which is the cause of so much
torture to cattle.
The dies form q more or less CON.
plete ring, around the horn. extending
sometimes from two to four inches
from the base Of the horn toward the
tip @ shown.
The clustering on the horns seems
to 30 peculiar to this species. The
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
In Black and White.

IF Bryan IL elected. he can't DO
fooled as to his friends"
why no?
There's the subscription list to the
commorar." s sS5 FS+4
The pioneer express. [volume] (Pembina, Dakota [N.D.]) 1883-1928, 1908-08-21
Parlous Times.

"a man has to draw it nne these
days."
What do you mean?"
Staying ten minutes after ONCE
hours each day will probably make a
good impression, but staying fifteen is
liable to excite suspicion that you are
.nonkeying with your books"
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
Newport News Page
Important Happenings and Local
Notes from the County Seat
L. B. WEILMAN, Locale
Drought Severe.

The drought throughout this section
is severe. Fields that have been hayed
are brown. especially on the hills
and dryer farms, and hay that is, not
yet cut is turning red and drying.
Pastures are suffering for lack of rain
though the small rainfall has helped.
Cows are drying up and many are feed
ing grain. Creameries report great
shrinkage in quantity of cream re-
ceived, and the matter is one of some
concern. The hay crop is reported
lighter than usual because of the
drought and some other crops are
suffering. From some sections grass
hoppers are reported very plentiful
ard are injuring growing grain and
adding to the shortage of the pastures.
Rain is much needed throughout this
entire section.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
Rev. C.. II. Brown Dead.

Rev. Charles H. Brown. pastor OF the
Baptist church at Saxtons River. died
Thursday morning of blood poisoning
after an illness of three days. The
poison originated in small boil which
appeared on the back of the neck Sat
urday July IS. On Sunday Mr.. Brown
preached as usual. Rev. Charles Hovey
Brown was born in Boston in 1853 and
graduated from the ssachusetts in
stitute Of technology in the class Of 80.
After graduation he spent three years
in Mexico as civil engineer and two
years in Ohio. While in the latter
state he decided to prepare for the min
istry and accordingly graduated from
the Newton theological seminary in
1890. Entering the passionate of the
Wilmington, Conn, Baptist church he
remained 10 years. In 1898 he married
Mrs. Ida Bronson of Wilmington, and
two years later took charge of the
Baptist church of Newport, VT, re-
naming there until August, 1906,
when he went to Saxtons River. vt.
Mr.. Brown leaves wife, an aged
father and mother, Mr.. and Mrs.
Gilbert C. Brown, aged respectively
"a and 80 years, brother, Gilbert I.
Brown Jr. of Boston, and a sister,
Mrs. L. D. Goulding of Conway, n. Il.
The funeral was held in the Baptist
parsonage at Saxtons River Saturday
at II a. m. Burial in Wilmington, Conn.,
Sunday.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
SIT Up AND
TAKE NOTICE
A WORD TO THE WISE
is SUFFICIENT

Why spend your time and money
breeding fast horses and scrub ponies?
Better invest your money in gold
mining stock III British Columbia. Whv
spend all your life trying to pay for
that old WORKOUT, ewe-necked, Ian
tern-jawed city Gull that died less
than three months after you purchased
him? Why not invest few hundred
dollars In pure bred Percheron Stall
lion and raise some of those low down
chunks as wide as a wagon, short
back, short legs. two good ends and a
middle, the kind that sells for $3.50. 90
or more? Just the kind every farmer
should have and Vermont is the place
TO raise them, as no tougher or better
horses can be raised than in Vermont.
Better think the matter over and make
arrangements with E. L. Graves to get
good imported Percheron stallion the
coming winter, get him acclimated and
ready for business in the spring. War
ranted by the importers to be sound
and right, guaranteed to get fifty per
cent of all mares bred in foal and in
sured against death from any cause if
so desired. (None genuine unless re-
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
NEWPORT.

0. c.. Miller returned Wednesday
night from Denver, Colo, where he
attended the democratic national con-
vention.
Mr.. and Mrs. C. F. Ranney returned
Saturday from York Beach, Me-,
where they have been spending va
cation of two weeks.
Harry Burgess and family attended
the celebration at Quebec last week
and on Friday sailed for England to
visit Mr.. Burgess old home and rel
atives.
Mrs. Lorenzo Cummings and child
go this week to Gary, Ind, to join
Mr.. Cummings, who has been there for
several months and who has position
there as an electrician.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29

SSxNSSseS2SINN SS>SS~SSN-SN 'SSSSAesSSSSV>f~
corded withPercheron Society of Amer
lea and Socicte Percheronne of
France, See that he is recorded in
books named above and was imported
from France by w. S. J. B. and B.
Durham. Remember / can get you as
good stallion for $16OO.OO as is sold
by travelling men for S280O0O. Do not
put it off until Spring and say I wish
| had done it this fall and get him
here by April l or before and have
him acclimated and ready for business
when you want to use him. can
get you a pure bred French Draft
Belgian or French Coacher at prices
down to $4,000 delivered, but be-
ware of low priced pure bred horses
which are sold without guarantees.
Agent for America g largest breeders
and horse importers, also Samson
Power and Thresher Co. and Breeders
Gazette, the best farm and live stock
paper published for $1.0O a year.
Have saved you money on mill feeds
and can on the above goods.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
WELL DESERVED
The Praise that Comes From Thankful
Vermont People

vermont People
One kidney remedy never fails.
Vermont people rely upon it.
That remedy is Doan's Kidney Pills.
Vermont testimony proves it always
reliable.
Robert Campbell, engineer of Sc So.
Champlaln ST., Burlington, VT, says,
81 have no doubt that kidney trouble
was brought on in my case by too much
heavy lifting. For seven or eight
years | was subject to dull pain
across my back in the region of the
kidneys and sharp twinges when
brought any unusual strain on the mus
cles of my back. I had headaches and
at times my vision would be blurred.
Then kidney weakness set in and my
secretions became very irregular and
of an unnatural color. | heard so much
about Doan's Kidney Pills that went
to drug store for box. If the re-
medy had not brought such decided re-
suit, | should not have continued using
it, as it was the pains in my back were
soon relieved, the secretions became
regular and returned to their natual
color. | have already spoken to many
of my friends about Doan's Kidney
Pills and shall continue to advise then
use for kidney trouble and back ache. :
For sale by all dealers. Price 81
cents. Foster Milbucn Co., Buffalo
New York. sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name -Doan Sane
use no other.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29

Nelson Morse died Friday at the
home of VIM. Glover, where he has
been boarding. He was about so years
of age. The funeral was held on
Sunday, Rev. A. S. Bole officiating.
The bankrupt property of c. J.
Brooks was sold at auction Thursday.
The goods We're sold to Mr.. Parkhurst
of North Trey for S275O. The store,
fixtures and lath mill were sold toJ ames
LABEL for S1l45.
About 100 persons met at the home
Of Mr. and Mrs. Louis Lee to help
them celebrate their 10th wedding
anniversary. They were entertained
royalty. Ice cream and cake were
served and games were played. A
sum of money was left as token of
friendship. All went home hoping
that they may be present at the 18th
anniversary of Mr.. and Mrs. Lee.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
PROBATE COURT.

Joseph Rochleau estate, Newport.
Appraisers inventory returned.
Sarah Moody estate, Derby. Com
missioners' report returned.
Margaret Lois and Carlton George
Mcdonald, minors, Glover. George C.
Mcdonald appointed guardian.
John e. Chase estate, Jay. APP
pralsers' inventory returned.
William E. Clarke estate, Charles
ton. Executor settles his account.
Decree Of distribution made.
Francis Lapier estate, Westfeld.
Il. o. Miller appointed administrator
Homer w. Burnham and C. w. Bry.
ant appraisers and commissioners.
Simeon R. Corey trust estate
Craftsbhry. Order granted trustee tt
sell notes and accounts.
James Teller estate, Barton. Com
mlssioners' report returned.
Edmund St. James estate, Coventry
Appraisers inventory returned.
John T. Uric estate, Craftsbury
Administrator account examined an,
allowed. Decree of distribution made
Joseph Rochleau estate, Newport
Administrators inventory returned.
Israel DuBrey estate, Craftsbury
Administrators settles her account
decree of distribution made
Charles M. Badger estate. Irasburg
G. E Hamblet appointed administra
tor. F. G. Brown and Jerre Marsto
appointed appraisers and commission
| ers.
Henry w. Clark estate, Glover. Ii
cense granted to sell real estate.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
A New Theory of Zones.

Bobby" said the teacher, chow
many Zones are there?''
ETwo," answered Bobby, with lit
tie questioning note in his voice.
Then, seeing the puzzled look that
came into the teachers face, he rat
tied on without stop: lone male and
one female the male can be temperate
or Incorporate, the female frigid OF
torrid-"a nd he stopped for BREATH
Everybody's Magazine.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
EAST CHARLESTON.

Ray Piper has moved from Echo pond
into Clarence Blood's house.
Charles Bean is entertaining his
brother George of Springfield.
Mr.. and Mrs. Clarence Blood Of Bar
ton were in town the past week.
Ira Nador and friend from Lynn,
Mass, are guests of A. D. Piper.
Rev. W. S. Sparhawk will preach at
Plymouth church for few weeks.
Henry Lewis of Irasburg is the
guest of his brother, Merrill Lewis.
Mrs. Dinsmore of Lyndonville is
visiting her sister. Mrs. Hannah Stod-
dard.
Mr.. and Mrs. C. Eastman have moved
from Attleboro, Mass, to Echo
pond
DR.. and Mrs. Potter and little daugh-
ter have returned from vacation IN
Maine.
Mr.. and Mrs. John Cough of Derby
visited his sister, Mrs. J. H. Wolcott.
GliS pctob WCSlAs
Mr.. and Mrs. w. E. Trip and two
sons are camping at Willoughby lake
tor few weeks.
Mr.. and Mrs. E. A. Campbell OF
Morrisville and Slayton Lang Of Bar.
ton have returned to their homes.
Mr.. and Mrs. viii Miner and Hugh
Davis and son of Saratoga, who have
been visiting relatives, have returned
to their home.
The topic for the C. E. prayer meet
ing July 80 is Home Missions. The
Home Mission Schoolhouse and What
It Does" Leader, Mrs. Leon Buck
Mr.. and Mrs. Edwin Ingalls, of Hart
ford, Mrs. Geo. Kellogg of Northamp
ton. Mass. Mrs. Charles Abbott OF
West Derby and Sherburne Campbell
of Lyndonville are guests at Leol
Bucks
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
A Chance for Boys
To Make a Dollar

We want all the bones we can get.
Can use heads, hoofs:horns anything in
the line of bones-if only dry. We
will pay 75c per hundred pounds for
thoroughly dry bones-we can pay
even more Of strictly clean hard,
fresh, dry, boiled butchers bones
and pay freights from your station it
shipped in lots of 200 pounds or more.
Shin in barrels or cheap sacks.
C. 8. PAGE, Hyde Park. VT.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
"Mr. Dooley' on General Grant and the
Facts of History.

"Mr. Dooley." who is writing eXclu-
sively for the American Magazine. is
in the August number of that periodi-
cal with a wonder of an article on
General Grant and the Facts of His
tory" After dealing humorously with
Taft's speech about Grant as drink
Rand after talking wisely about His
tory and the injustlces that it commits,
"Mr. Dooley" continues:
Il put down tn list iv these great
men with tn principal facts about
thin:
alexander the Great dhrunk an
disorderly.
"Joolyas Caysar: gambling women;
he put perfumery on his hair.
Saint Augustine: disreputable
youth.
''Napolyon Bonypart: he had epilep-
tic fits.
'Willum Pitt: dhrunkard; highway
robber.
Lord Byyrum Gf I have the name
right: drunkenness; women; gam
bling; prize-fghtin' chicken-fghtin' !;
dog-fghtin' had game leg.
Tommy Moore, author iv Let Erin
Reminder toady.
George Wash ton: How did he
catch tn cold that kilt him. says He
gan. Tell me that!'
Benjamin Franklin: Whisper Sc
an -so-an' so.
"Andhrew Jackson: he cuddent
spell, an his wife smoked a corncob
pipe.
Abraham Lincoln
g Stop there says I. we've gone
far enough says I. | have not a per-
sonal acquaintance with amy iv tn
| gintlemen we've mintioned, but I'll bet
ye're wrong. Ye can't tell me that
annybudy who was full iv rum liver
conkered tn worruld, or that a man
that had so many other inthrestin 'pur-
scots as Lord Byrum wud liver have
time to write pothry. Amy more in
situations again George Washn' ton or
Andrew Jackson I'll take as personal.
Ye can gossip about tn living as
much as We want, says I. Say what
We PLACE about Hinnissy or Donahue
an I'll agree with We an take We down
to their houses to repeat it, anil II
i stand by to give We tn first aid to tn
injured. Ye can gossip here We car
swear an tell tough stories. But I've
got to dhraw tn line somewhere
This is a respectable saloon, an I'll
not have histhry or biography repeated
in this place, says l..
g IT'S tn penalty iv fame" sale
Mr.. Hennessy.
"Thrue FIR ye," said Mr.. Dooley
"Fame is always playin' April foo
thricks with tn great. 1t pins goolc
medal on tn chest iv tn hero, an as
The sthruts down tn sthreet he little
d knows that it has hung a sign on his
coat tails sayin' P'laze kick me- ("
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
Merit Will Tell,

The undersigned agree to refund
the money on one 25 cent box of Lady
Poor's Ointment if it fails to heal and
cure piles, salt rheum, eczema, open
sores, chatting, chapped hands and
lips, blotches, and all eruptions and
abrasions of the skin. We only ask
you to try one box to test its curative
powers.
F. D. Pierce E. W. Barron
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
WEST CHARLESTON.

Charles Crawford of Newport is
working for George Dane in haying.
Miss Bertha Crawford is spending
few days in Newport and Coventry.
Mrs. C. O. Barrup and sons Ralph
and Ward are visiting friends in Hart
land.
Mrs. Horace Wilder and daughters
have returned from their visit in New
Hampshire.
Mr.. and Mrs. Harry Clark of Derby
are at the home Of his brother, Eu-
gene Clark.
Henry Kline has finished gathering
cream for Eugene Lyon, and Earle
johnson is the new assistant.
The Mothers club took $40 at the
ice cream sale Saturday evening.
They will serve ice cream every Thurs
day evening until further notice.
Mr.. and Mrs. A. D. Phillips and
little daughter of Newport, N. H., and
Sherburne Campbell of Lyndonville
have been visiting at DR.. Kendrick' s.
COVENTRY.
Mrs. J. Herbert and daughter are at
home for their vacation.
A. D. Thurber went to East Burke
to visit his parents last week.
George Nichols of Burlington was
the guest of his mother over Sunday.
Mrs. Ella Moore of Allston, Mass,
is the guest of her brother, VIM. Niles.
Mrs. R. B. Edmunds underwent 9
SUCCESSFUL operation at Hanover hos
pital and is gaining.
Mrs. Alsaida Percival passed he1
74th birthday Monday. She received
81 letters and postals.
! Mrs. James Chapman and Mrs
Acelia landlord are home from tn
hospital at Burlington. Mrs. Hand
ford will board for the present Will
Mrs. Jane Herman.
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
Sugar Hill + arm
Stations for Service. Season 1908

Stations for Service. Season 1908
C1IEF0N
the heavy draft Stallion by Captain
Imported from France.
NIXON, JR.
By Nixon 2 :1lA. Will make the
season as follows: At Sugar Hill
farm, Salem Derby until May "a
After said date every Monday alter,
noon at Geo Cards, Barton Land
ing +; Tuesday until 2 p m. at Hotel
Stable, Coventry; Tuesday evenin!
and until Thursday noon at Mem
phremagog Driving Park, NJ wport
Thursday afternoon at the Silver
Farm, De by Center; Friday all
day at John Laf1ame,s Stable, Wei
Charleston; Saturday at Sugar Hill
Farm. If you are interested write
for Stallion cards.
r. P. BLAKE.
DERBY, VERNON
P. O. Address, Newport, R. F. d. 4
Peoples Phone
Orleans County monitor. [volume] (Barton, Vt.) 1872-1953, 1908-07-29
WAR AGAINST CONSUMPTION

All nations are enc eavoring to check the
ravages of consumption, the white plague"
that claims so many victims each wear.
Foley's Honey and Tar cures coughs and
colds perfectly and you are in no danger of
consumption. Do not risk your health by
taking some unknown preparation when
Foley's Honey and Tar is safe and certain in
results. The genuine is in yellow package.
F. D. Pierce, Barton; F. ). Kinney, Barton
Landing.