Alaska sentinel., 1908-01-02
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 Milwaukee Sentinel.
 Rollingstone Nomoss-Yes; I uster be a poet. Tatteredon Torn-I often wondered how you got your start Philadelphia Record.
 Lady Gage 7)-How much Is that, please? Stallholder Cat booth of church fair, age 9)-How much has your mother given you to spend?-Punch.
 Friend-What's the matter, old boy? You look disappointed. Algy-I thought 1 had appendicitis, but the doctor said It was only indlgestion.-Court Jour- nal.
 Patience-They say your brother used to have great luck as a fisherman. Patrice-Yes, he did have. Nearly ey- erybody used to believe him.-Yonkers Statesman.
 You live outside of the city limitsl How far outsider" Goodness knows. I don't It's about fifteen minutes the other side of where the map stops. - Chicago Tribune.
 Landlord (to new tenant)-I suppose you would require bathroom In the house? Tenant-Oh, we don't need bathroom. We go to sea every year. Meggendorfer Blaetter.
 Little Willie-Say. Pa, what is the difference between "well' and "goodf" Pal have noticed, my son, that about the only time you are good Is when you are not well.-Denver Post.
 "Yes, slr," said the man In cell I'll, time was when I was admitted to the very best houses" And what brought you here?", 'They caught me coming out t"-Yonkers Statesman.
 Miss Gaddle-So she's really engaged Q MT. Slimm. Do you think he's really good match? Miss Knox-Well, he's regular stick, and he's got a red head New York Daily Mall.
 Harold-I suppose, Uncle George, you object to these things because inhale the smoke Uncle George-Not at all, my boy. object to them because you exhale the smoke.-MIlwaukee Senti- nel.
 What's that you're so busy writ ing? You're regularly perspiring over it." "My wife Is giving an address on 'Women's Rights tomorrow, and l am preparing It for her."-Lustige Blaet- ter.
 Dolly-No I won't wash my face. just hate to wash my face! Grand ma-Naughty, naughty! When I was a little girl I always washed my face. Dolly-Yes, an now look at 1t it!-Cleye- land Leader.
 Frau Lehmann was saying some aw- full things about you yesterday" Well, did you stick up for me" "Oh, no, wanted to hear 1t all, so that l could tell you about 1t afterwards" gende Blaetter.
 Mir. Orthodoxer-But surely, sir, Dr. Reglar doesn't advertise? The Editor Well, no, not directly, but when busl- ness Is dull he often sends me a check for inserting pie and pastry recipes Lippincott's Magazine. The Rev. J.-Tut, tut. How dare you come before me and ask me to mar " you when he Is in that disgraceful condition? Would-Be-B e-Bride-Weel, sur, pleaz, sur, he'll no come when he's sober.-Illustrated Bits. Lawyer-And do you think that the man who has run away with your wife had known her some time? Husband No, he can't have known her long, or he would never have run away with her.-Meggendorfe Blaetter. Diner-Waiter, bring me outlet, and also a big bone for my dog. will pay extra for that. Waiter-Yes, sir. Diner (when the outlet arrives)- Where Is the bone for the dog? Waiter In the outlet, sir. - Meggendorfer Blaetter.
 II suppose you visited all the points of interest while you were abroad" said one young woman. "No," answered the other, i've were so busy addressing post cards to our friends that we hadn't time to do much sightseeing. NaSnlngtOn 6tar.
 'The great corporations which con- trol general necessities" said the man of unusual theories, "should be regard ed merely as servants of the public" "Yes," answered the weary-looking citi- zen, "but have you eyer tried to control a house full of servants Washington Star.
 Mrs. Gadsby-And you liked Rome best of all the European cities you wis. ited? Mrs. Newriche (enthusiastical- ly)-It's far superior to all the others. Why, my dear, in Rome one can buy souvenir postals for penny that cost two or three times as much anywhere else-Puck.
 "To-morrow," announced 5-year-old Sidney, proudly, to his kindergarten teacher, "is my birthday" why" re- | ~ba Ia y,fpo foo VI Tho hoyb,