Yorkville enquirer. [volume] (Yorkville, S.C.) 1855-2006, 1908-07-21
Aumuruus department.
Queenie and the Game.

seeing me do it again can take my
bankroll."
What is it this time?" the waiter
asked, as he rested against the counter
prepared to steal few minutes of the
boss time.
"Took Queenie to the ball game yes
terday, that's ALL Talk about your
dense fogs. Queene's got the diamond
studded belt when it comes to being the
original doughhead. tried to wise her
up going out on the car but it wasn't
any use.
IF there's anything you don't grasp
about this game wait till you get home
1 told her. I'll draw you a diagram af-
ter the game. Don't show me up by
asking a lot of dippy questions in the
grandstand.'
"'All right she replied.
I'VE takes seats in the grandstand
'Tain't nothing like 1 thought it would
be- she pipes. Who is that man way
over yonder?
That's the center fielder
What does he do?'
"Catches flies
"Ts there many flies out there
where he is?'
Sometimes
"I don't see him catching any,
why don't he get busy?'
HE will soon as the batter
knocks one out there
"Now, Mr.. Smarty, If you think
came out to be ridiculed by you
you're mistaken. You can't tell me
they can knock fly that far. Be-
sides that man with the club has to
defend himself all the time or that
man will hit him with the ball. The
rascal threw three times right at his
head. If he hits him just hope that
he will take that club and hit him
See there, he just threw another one
at him. What does he get if he gets
hit with the ball?'
"A base
What? One of those whitewash-
ed sofa pillows?'
"'Uh-huh.'
"'They's only got four of them
What do they do when they give
those four away? Get some more?
"'Yes'm.'
Nov, smarty, he did hit that
poor man. 1 wouldn't let him hit
me for a leather sofa pillow, let alone
ono of those cheaD ones"
Then 1 misses three good plays
explaining to her that the guy was
hit by a pitched ball and was permit
ted to take first.
why didn't he run down this
way she asks, pointing to third.
1.-The others the closest
"No it isn't. Same distance.
"'It looks the closest. anyway
"Isn't.
what are you whooping about?'
"'Ole Beck. just stole second
Its still there
"All the gang close to me was pop
ping their sides laughing,
"'Get out, you shrimp, he was safe
a mile yells.
WHO you calling a shrimp?
Queenie butts in.
The umpire
What did he do?'
"'Called Beckley out
"'Well Mr.. Beckley's big enough
to fight his own battles. You needn't
be calling the umpire names.
Look out. you bonehead. Keep
awake down there l whoops.
Whose asleep?'
1.-The guy on first
He is not. I just saw him move.
Can you beat that? Imagine
yourself trying to explain a double
steal. fielder's choice, a sacrifice hit
or the squeeze play to that kind of
talent. 1t was funny at first and then
1t got tiresome, I got sore and left in
the sixth inning. Missed the only
no-hit game ever pitched in Kansas
City"
That's was tough luck, sure the
waiter said. got new girl and
I'm thinking of taking her out. She's
never been to a game.
well, If you think she's different
from all other women that's swell
way to find out that she amt"
"How did Queenie like the game?"
20, she thought it was great"
"I'n know more about it the next
time I CO. she said.
ITS a cinch she will if she waits
for me to take her" Freck said as he
slipped off the stool.-Kansas City
Star.