The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-05-05
DRIFTWOOD nY PHIL n. ARsasrnoNe.

Strange that when young man comes to spoon he doesn't care to stir.
 The trouble with this boarding house" said the lady school teacher tempted to catch her eye. 7Is that ev- erything is fresh here except the but
 When you haven't anyone else to knock. knock the weather man.
 As a son-in-Iaw Nick Longworth has proved quite a success from the par sntal viewpoint
 The Duke of Abruzzi has received the consent of his brothers to his mar riage with Miss Elkins. Now let the wedding bells and the dollars ring.
 Now let Congress appropriate that s25O. 900 for the storm sufferers and we will feel that she has done some- thing this session.
 Sailors from the battleship heet ston- ed a restaurant in Santa Barbara be- cause the proprietor charged them money for a mince pie.
 Turn about is fair play. Now the proprietor can use the stones in the rest of his pies ed thus gst revenge
 MT. Lemon is a delegates from Illi- nois to- the Denver Convention. We fear poor Lemon will be literally squeezed to death by the Paragraphers Union.
 Willow hat is not widow. much as she would like to be-.
 Oh, no, the windows aren't in 1t with the wind when 1t comes to displaying new hosiery.
 There is no Alabama game law pre- venting Montgomerians from going out night hunting birds" the wnoie year around, but there ought to oe'
 All the little boys in Montgomery have taken up the fad of Knitting. on can see them on the streets nas,iy as sSheD en. gagged in this gentle occupation when formerly they tied tin cans to the caudal appendanges of dogs or turned summersaults of the back renee They say that laziness is caused by a germ. But of course most people are too indoient to look for 1t.
 The fact that there is. no marrying or giving in marriage in Heaven is what makes the average man pant TOT that holy place like a tlrea es, oos pants for water in the summer 'irne' The country newspaper Is very near the people. says an exchange, ana some people are very near when 1t comes | to whacking down one little measley dollar for a years subscription.
 Oh. well, the Johnson BrYan 3:T bout l ought to be all the more ineeres'ihs now.
 lust to think of the delicious Ala fairly makes one's mouth ter-meion. I Well by going up in that balloon Teddy. IT,. has proven himself to pc high flyer.
 One thing certain. Raisuli is either dead or alive. Now pass the sstra"- berries.
 Mir. Croker. who now lives across the water, remember. takes enough inter. est fin us. however to say thar Wnas ,.ss we want Is a quiet President; IS this intended as a sort of cut at Teddyg
 It is of course vitally essential to have bigger navy yb put nssessity it Wia VTrg Wiii Enever De realized until some little up- start of a country steps on your uncle sammfe's pet corn.
 The summer days are Drawing near. | And the fool who rocks
 The boat is here s
 women can't. whisper as !sa many y,.r.S SC, crets as formerly thanks to the Merts Widow hat.
 l | Calling. ssf Oh. the silver trout are swishing where | inc lilies lean to dream I'm the whirling, purling waters as they
 ripple and they gleam, 4. And the cat-bird Is calling me 10
 dip a hook and line :. From the bank so cool and messy oS | the huckleberry vine. Oh, the farm house seems 10 oecAon I'm a pitcher full of buttermilk my | troubles aii TO drown. | And on tho wings of Fancy am soon transported there, {, | flaming flies behind my char.