The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-09-23
For Octob or.

tn OF the old Roman calendar. This
brought oysters In at the end OF Aug
ust, when they had to be candled like
eggs, and the Oyster Trust always
cornered the supply in cold storage.
But Rome, like every other nation,
had a reformer not to often for rea-
sonable profits in business. and when
Numa Pompihus came into power in
713 ID. c. he made October the tenth
month and busted the Oyster Trust.
He was idolized by a grateful popu-
Lace. and was only relinQuished to
private life in his later days that he
might crafty his desire to hunt big
game in Africa.
The presidential race will reach
Three quarters Of q mile,
And both the Bills will hit 1t up
| In good old fashioned style.
The Platte will shake his big brogans
And put up dust and dirt,
The giant Taft will grunt and sweat
| And rip his undershirt.
The plaudits of the multitude
VIII rise In mighty peals.
Andthe watchful Teddy Bear will nip
AT William Towards heels.
The pink mudguards OF Sunny Jim
will catch the frost defending. and
turn fine autumnal red. with the
burning sumac blending; the frost wi
thin out MIR. kern's elaborate chin
thicket, and each of these hair-bear-
ing tails will go some on his ticket.
The frost will paint the sassafrass
deep aud glowing red. and the farm
hand will resume his howl for blank
cts on his bed. The plant exuded
phosphorus will gossamer the air. the
stiff rheumatic will put on his wind
proof underwear, the southwark NOV
ing ducks will Quack upon the reeded
lakes, and man will line himself in
side with buttered flannel cakes.
The women will parade beneath
the big sky-scraper hats. and guy
lines strung to steady them will an
Choir In their rats; AID every time tn
| wind blows brisk, VIA many screams
and sQueals. they'll all turn turtle an
will fan the azure with their heels.
The camper will unto the woods
To live the life OF Crusoe
And the quail Will balance on a rail
And whistle like Caruso.
The candidate will press his suit
and tell his little jokes while he is
handing out cigars they name for fan
GUS folks; and Notwithstanding ali
the harm this sort OF smoke has dont
US. we'll all waltz up again and try
his deadly Mrs. Gunness.
After the 26th October will be I'M
der the influence of the zodiacal sign
Scorpio the crustacean. Persons Dor
in Scorpio are Holsters. and are most
ly actors and base ball players. They
have remarkable foresight. Among
other things. they can tell when the
hired girl IL going to quit, and Away.
give her notice first
The armoured football player will
cavort in padded pants and butt to
Il -
sands dance. He'll cut the foe with
glass hid in his Paderewski mop. and
when they pile on sacks he'll do a
war dance on the top. The college
men will all get up and yell like KIM
dom come. the college girls will swal-
low six or seven gobs Of gum, the
autumn sun will be obscured by col
ors horns and hats, the catapulating
end will cave the other fellows stats,
the giant centers will collide like two
excursion trains, the guards will paw
the earth and scarmble one anothers
brains; and when the ambulance driv
es up, with great vociferauon the
bowling mob will give three cheers
for higher education.
The first frost ripened hickory nuts.
| viii rattle to the ground.
And local option will put on
| The blower all around.
The hunters moon will sail the sky.
| The bee will duck the clover.
And the other Wright in France will
knock
| The Eiffel Tower over.
The flower for October is the hop.
This signifies that the fates are a.
gainst prohibition in one month of tn
year. anyway.
Our gadabouing fleet will throw
scare into Japan. and shell the Chi
nese coast until they tell the age Of
An; and old John Rockefeller will OBJ
serve October nine, with q big barn
dance at Forest Hill and UNDERWENT
ed wine, the third month since he's
had to make a payment on the fine.
And then November Srd will come,
| When all OF US shall vote,
And one of these two Bills will have
| To be the Billy goat.
$40. 900 just -receivsd for farm loans