The Mena weekly star., 1908-04-30
OUTGOING THE JANlTOR
Ear. Gilmore Flnds It Difficult

humiliating, and MT. Gilmore said he was going to put stop to 1t.
 Mir. Gilmore had an opportunity to pursue his drastic policy with the jan itor the very next morning. It was a Sunday morning, and MT. Gilmore, eager for battle, rushed to the dumb waiter in response to the clarion call from the janitor's speaking tube.
 Hello" he said
 Hello" came the reply from the depths of the basement. Say, have youse folks seen anything of a basket of aigs from the delicatessen that was left on the dumbwaiter this morning for Mrs. Washburn?"
 No" said Mir Gilmore, i've haven't. What do you take us for, anyway? A pack of thieves? When things are lost about the house, why don't you go to some place else once in while to look for them? Why do you all ways come to us?"
 "Because," came the unhesitating response, you are the only people in the building who pever lose anything yourselves"
 For moment Mir. Gilmore appeared convinced by this apparently conclu- sive evidence of his own guilt, but soon his indignation as an injured householder asserted itself, and urged him to vindicate his honor.
 "The only ones that haven't lost anything, are we?p he retorted Well.  just let me tell you that Is no proof. We have lost things, too"
 You haveg" exclaimed the janitor. You never said anything abont It."
 No,' said Gilmore. i've never did. We kept still out of consideration for you. We felt sorry for you. We knew you had hard time keeping track of so many different things, so when we lost steaks and groceries and milk and papers we just did without, or else went out and bought more rather than worry you about it. But we're througN with all such mistaken kindness. Here after when we lose anything you've got to hustle around and find it, or -ake chances on losing your job"
 Having thus relieved himself of part of his bottled-up wrath, Gilmore drew in his head and slammed the door. Mrs. Gilmore stood at his el- bow, pale and frightened.
 "Oh, Robert" she said, what did you mean by telling him that yarn about our having lost things? We never have.'
 That's all right" said Gilmore. Tt is just as well to make him think so. What is more, am going to keep on rubbing our losses in.
 Mir. Gilmore instituted his system of revenge on the following morning
 Say, John," he said, "did you see grocer's boy left for us this morning7"
 No, sir" floated up mildly from the foot of the dumbwaiter shaft. s
 That is too bad" said Gilmore Somebody has swiped it. You had better find out who 1t was"
 "All right" said the janitor "Tn get 1t for you
 Before Gilmore had finished his breakfast he was disturbed by vio lent whistllng and shrieking at the tube and the creaking of the dumb waiter.
 "Hello!" came sepulchral voice from the basement. Here's your butter"
 Gilmore was too much astounded ar that unexpected announcement to make reply.
 Well. I'll be blessed!" he said. Where do you suppose he got it?"
 What are you going to do with it?" cross-questioned Mrs. Gilmore.
 Keep it, l suppose"
 But 1t isn't ours, she protested. "He must have scared one of the neighbors into giving 1t up. You'd better give it back to him to return to them"
 Never said Gilmore. 'I've' start ed out to teach that fellow lesson, 2nd I'm going to stick to it. Silence just now is the best policy
 In pursuance of his scheme for dis cipllning the janitor, MT. Gilmore dur irg the next few days reported miss Ing pint of cream, ten-pound pack age of granulated sugar. quart of cranberries and basket of potatoes, and each time, to the Gilmores' ever: increasing amazement, John called back after the lapse of a few minutes:
 "All right. sir; here 1t is.'
 At last Mrs. Gilmore, being of superstitious bent, began to read dis aster in the janitors extraordinary obedience,
 T do hope" she said, that you won't report any more fictitious losses. Wen be guilty of robbing everybody In the house before we get out of this scrape.
 The day after receiving the basket of potatoes, Mrs. Gilmore received her monthly bill from the grocer
 They've made a mistake" she said after comparing 1t with her own item ized list of purchases. They've charged us for butter, cream, sugar, cranberries and potatoes that never ordered Before you pay, be sure to call their attention to it."
 Not wishing to be imposed upon, Gilmore went out at once to interview the rapacious grocer. He came back wearing an air of inglorious defeat
 'I guess" said he. that we'll have to pay for these things. We got them, an right. We took them off the dumb. waiter. The ialitor ordered them"