The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-04-20
ConnubiaI Diplomacy.

(Originall
II doubt II there Is more truth in any
aphorism than in The least said the
soonest mended,' only If l had written
1t would have put it. Let the other
fellow show his hand before showing
yours or. as applied to connubial diff
ferences: Not only give your wife the
last word. but give her the first. and
only that. keep on giving it to her till
she hangs herself with her own rope"
Sam Albert adored his wife. but he
had no more conscience in his dealings
with her than an Italian bandit.
"What put that into your head. old
man" I asked.
well, the other day my old chum
Billy Perkins asked me If I couldn't
take night of for the theater. and so
forth. I told him l would. I'd been
out a good deal without Effie just be-
fore that. and l knew she'd object.
What did do? Have a long powwow
with her about it. with such words
and phrases as neglect shameful
treatment you ought to be ashamed
Of yourself and all that. Not I.
just says: My love. I'm awful sorry.
but shall be detained downtown to-
night late by business. Don't sit up
for me- Then I kiss her more affec-
tionately than usual and go to, the Of
flee.
GAS luck would have it. some Of her
friends during the, day telephoned her
an invitation to go to the same theater
where Billy and l were going. and.
knowing she was to be alone at home.
she accepted. Billy and were sitting
down in the baldheaded row when,
glancing aside into proscenium box.
1 saw the party filing into 1t and my
wife take chair where she could rake
me with both eyes.
81 kissed my hand to her, but after a
look Of surprise she paid no more at
tention to me than if I were one of the
supes on the stage. l knew I'd meet
cyclone when got home and had
plenty Of time to think matters over.
When a man gets caught that way it's
great mistake to founder around
among lot of improbable excuses.
There's two ways of working it-one
owning up and the other way. l chose
the other way. assumed an air of
one badly treated, but too noble mind
Cd <n Ix,tf N
word. simply looked at her reproach-
fully.
"Now, that piqued her curiosity. You
see, when a woman sets up an idol she
doesn't like to have it shattered. She
had put me on beautiful white marble
pillar, and didn't propose to come
down. She couldn't realize that would
deliberately do what I had done with
out reason. Since gave her no rea-
son, why, Of course. she began to fig
ure one out for herself; but, not being
able to do it, she got madden than ever.
Andrews Of Howe & Andrews hap
pened to have sat in the seat directly
in front of me at the theater. Andrews
Is in the same business as l, and have
known him for years. / leaned for
ward several times and talked to him
about a soubrette on the stage. She
was pretty as picture, and Andrews,
who knew the stage manager, offered
to take me behind the scenes between
the third and fourth acts and introduce
me, an offer I accepted. When the
curtain fell at the appointed time An
drews and Billy and got up and went
out together.
"Well, Fife kept up pretty sharp
thinking as to the cause Of my brutal
deception. I saw something was work
ing and just declined to come down
from my high horse and crawl on my
stomach. Instead, l said nothing
about the matter between us, combining
myself to Yes, dear and No, DEAR
confident that if let her talone long
enough she'd work out my salvation
for me and save me the trouble. At
last it came out one morning while we
were at the breakfast table.
Frank she said, 4 want you to tell
me one thing. Where did you three
men go when you got up and went
out of the theater?
''Not knowing but that she's got on
to my going behind the scenes and for
what purpose, I WINGED inwardly.
Outwardly I was game. I suppose
I replied calmly. you think we went
out for drinkY
"'No.'" she said; knowing that you
and Mr. Andrews are in the same busi-