The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-03

kind of pleuro- pneumonia cough, and you can believe it or not, but the colored race began to march in procession past us with trays, on which were bottles of northern beer in a great precipitation on the outside of the bottle. I had tainted, but they brought me to, and nothing ever tasted so good. and a valuable life was saved.
 I left the foam on my moustache for three blocks, hoping to meet the Mayor, to show him that his confounded old pro hibtion town did not prohibit worth q cent, but the foam wore off, and when went back alone later, to get another mess of foam. I had forgotten the number and took a train for Chattanooga. where everything was wet, and when l got here didn't want drink on a bet. They tell stories on the dry fellows all the time. One is a very prominent business man who talked dry. but a week before elec- ton had half a carload of beer and budge put in his cellar, and some wicked wet gentlemen took a kodak picture of the dry gentleman showing the eXpressman where to put the goods in the cellar. Another story is on nA ster who had box of books sent him\ tom a Bible house in Cincinnati The box remained in the ex- press office several days when the express agent, who is a joker, sent a note to the minister that he had better come and get his books, for they had sprung leak" Most of the books are dry enough, but book that actually leaks old rye, ought to be arrested.
 There are two kinds of prohibitionists. One kind has always been so and he is dried up, diseased, never breathes his lungs full, has a kind of blood that looks like curdled milk, if he hurts his finger, whose eyes shine yellow, whose hand IS cold and clammy, who looks you not in l,t. who carries liver pills in one pocket. and laxative pills in another and takes in- digestion tablets after his meals. and gulps wind and fiocks with weak and sympathetic women instead of full-blood- ed men, and thinks he is doing Gods work in looking after his neighbors morals. The other kind of prohibitionist is the business or professional man )r politician, who is in it for what there is in it for him, who pulls the leg of the dys- peptic man, who will proclaim aloud that he is a dry, when in the presence of the drys, but who will wink and laugh T shamefaced laugh when talking with q wet take him to one side and whisper that he don't believe in it, but you know how 1t is. we have to stand in with the Grys as they will ruin our business" One has more respect for the dry who was born so, and never had generous inn pulse Tn ms llIe, dilu never hileW 'he blessing of a good, hearty laugh, or the pleasure of associating with man with good red blood in his veins. The dry who is dry for business or political req sons who proclaims that he is dry, and winks when he says it. is like the man on the car. when those present were telling what states they lived in. Each was lauding his state. and was proud of it. Finally they asked the last man where he lived and he looked around. smiled and said. T am from Missouri. Now, laugh, darn you.''
 Chattanooga has the laugh on Georgia and Alabama. and is rubbing it in awful. stood at the express office for hours ye5-