The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-20

The most revolutionary scientific an- nouncement of the year has just been made by Dr. w H. Burnham He pro- poses to cure laziness, which is the msot persistent and universal of all maladies. If he has really found specific remedy for the disinclination to labor the con- sequences will be far more startling than appear at first blush.
 It was Mosso-of course you know all about Mosso-who first discovered that work was nothing less than poison to the human system. When you are poisoned in this particular way you get lazy. In the language of the immortal Mosso, "the ] toxic products resulting from the func- tional activity of the muscles are the chief cause of fatigue"
 Adam, of course, was the first lazy man. He knew that he hated work Hike poison" but didn't know that is was poison. He thought, perhaps, that it had something to do with the primeval curse. He passed the word down along the line, and since that time every normal man has hated work. It has been Just as natural to be lazy as to breathe.
 All the poets sang the beauties of in- dustry and yet the world hated to work. | It came to be regarded as a deep-seated sign of total depravity of man that he summed labor. Really, it was a sign of mans wisdom. This instinctlve turning away from toll except in case of hunger, l or hanging on to your job, or other dire necessity, was what kept the race alive. When man worked he was poisoned. Without realizing the danger he lodged the fatal results The dread of work i Va a in nf a as we always were taught to believe.
 It was lucky thing that the work poison was not like some other modern poisons that fascinate the victim and hold him in their clutches. If you take nor phine or alcohol or smoke cigarettes you get the habit and require increasing quantities to satisfy your cravings. But the work habit never gets such a hold on you that you cannot shake 1t off. The alarm clock calls you to your daily task every day in the year, but 1t never gets to sound like music.
 Laziness is not merely Spring fever" but a worldwide result of the work poison. When you saw cord of wood or add column of figures, the virus gets into your veins just as dis tinctly as 1t does when you partake of 1 a ptomaine supper or get bitten by germ laden mosquito in the yellow fever belt. Being a different poison, of course, it's symptoms are different. The first symptom of the work poison Is fatigue. You are not to blame for it. You don't get tired because you are naturally indolent and worthless. but because muscular exertion has released a lot of toxic matter which grips you with it's paralyzing fingers.
 That is just half the story The amazing sequel has just been provided, by Dr. Burnhan, whose paper was read
 
 school hygiene by pr. L. H. Gulick. He declares that certain anti-bodies that act as an antidote to fatigue are pro- 1 duced, and he has isolated the fatigue | toxin and has produced an antitoxin in | the usual manner.
 Dr. Burnham even believes that 1t is possible by a course of preliminary treatment to render the patient inn l mune. He vaccinates against lazness as it were and when the patient is properly fortified he never gets tired any more. He works out his life with perfect cheerfulness and without fa- tigue.
 Thus, 1t is believed, that a tramp might be put through a course of treatment which would make a use- full citizen of him. He would love to l work afterward as well as he now loves to rest. It Is suggested that he might f, ness, too, and that he might grow to | love the bathtub.
 l When this new and revolutionary | plan becomes thoroughly worked out, the tired men in factory will be given treatment by the house physician. He 1 will go around through the works with 1 a hypodermic needle in one hand and a pail of antitoXin in the other and administer the cure to all the employees. ! haf wi of a time clock. All you will need will be a watchman to drive the men away | from the benches when the clock l strikes G. and to keep the door locked l in the morning so they can't get back until 8 o'clock.
 Men Driven From Labor.
 Of course there will be no more strikes | after the antitoxin treatment for lazi- ness became general. The men will sub init to almost any sort of wage reduce tion before they will be driven away from l their beloved labor And. of course, the 1 longer the hours of labor the happier they will be. The only foremen needed in the factories and stores then will be a strong willed and husky man who will l patrol the premises to see that no man works too hard. Periods of enforced rest probably will be provided for. Fifteen minutes, every four hours, 1t is thought, will be sufficient to have the. men knock | off from their labors and spend the time 1 in social converse.
 With everybody working as long and as hard as he can, there will not be enough work to do to go round, and it is 1 entirely within the limits of possibility that society, to protect itself, will be obliged to produce a class of drones. Rich men, or trust magnates may be punished by deprIving them of work. 1 Instead of fining the John D. Rockefeller | of the future $29,OOO,OOo, the judge then l will sentence him to one years likeness If pr. Burnham's remedy Is proved to l be as efficacious as he thinks, 1t will be 1 only in the next generation that it's full results will be felt. By that time there will not be lazy man or woman left | in the world. Little children, when they l start to school, will have to be made | immune against the fatigue toxin. On