davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1908-05-16
Mr.. and Mrs. John Smith Son.

hANe oNhe @SAaaN Sthh'
The editor OF this paper has read
with considerable interest the writ.
ings of the Tenderfoot during the
past ten years. We have always
considered him the strongest editor.
ial quill pusher in the southwest.
The following is one among his
weekly grindthat especially appears
to us as worthy OF reproduction.
Born, to Mr.. and Mrs. Jno.
Smith, a son.
That was all there was to the
item when IL appeared in the Buzz.
town Buzzer, but interesting as II
was TO the ladies' OF the town, the
only news about it was in regard
20 the matter OF sex. Everybody
in the little city had known Tor quite
a while that it was to be either a
Ohm or a Susan in the purse OF
time. There was no foolishness
about the baby coming straight
from heaven, or by any other route
than the good oldfsshioned way.
The people OF Buzztown gave no
credit to the stork in the baby bust.
ness. Most OF them had b e e n
I h ere themselves, and admit.
cd the tact that the Smith baby was
the result OF purely natural causes,
in which the principle agent was
the honest love oil a healthy man
and woman, who had no time for
the modern toolishness about race
suicide. TO be sure down in his
heart John was not overwhelmed
with Joy, when he learned that it
was 10 he. He had planned a few
years Just like the honeymoon, and
he had learned bv experience that
babies mean lines in the iaircst face,
and a coming between OF the idyl.
lic comradeship OF the first love.
Pc hadn't meant 1t so soon, though
wild horses had not the power to
make him own il. Later on a com.
parativcly tame animal wouldn't
have had much OF a pull to make
him confess Il. But the Smith
baby came, and his coming caused
a revolution beside which the little
scrimmage that Washington bossed
was a trlhe. Few people knew
anything about it, which made it
the more wonderful. John realiz.
ed it when the little red soft thing
was laid in his arms the first time,
TO ne handled for a minute as il It
were alvddite shell, and then plac.
I'd reverently 10y the side OF the
mother. She had realized II from
the time when the instinct OF moth.
erhood awoke-but then God was
especially wise in that, praise be-.
John sat late over his pipe and his
paper that night, and the argument
OF the granny woman chat he should
make up TOR lost sleep fell on deaf
ears. He thought first OF his own
childhood, OF the sacrifices he now
understood en- the part OF those
old people now sleeping beneath
the blue grass. He realized for the
FIRST time, how little he had given
in return TOR it all. Then he be.
gan to build castles in the air, OF
how he would train and educate the
boy to be OF most use to the world,
for John Smith was a wholesome
man, beneath the shell. He should
have a boyhood with fun in il, a
young manhood with a chance TO
it, and a start in life worth while.
And as John Smith fell asleep that
night he was thinking OF that boy
grown up .... Time passed and the
child blossomed as children will.
There we're no fights from John
when the ages passed and the baby
began to toddle about and talk a
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1908-05-16

5000 was the lucky number and
A. l. Parish OF the Western Brok.
erage Co., Won the first prize at
the Crystal Theater Mor1ay even.
ing The prize was a silver celery
set The second prize went to
Harry Taylor.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1908-05-16

l.. +. Taylor OF l.. K. Taylor g.
Co., is on a visit to friends and
relatives in Maryland, Pennsyl.
vania and New York. He was at
Niagara Falls on the 8th.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1908-05-16

The Crystal Amusement Co.,
played to a crowded house Mon.
day evening. One OF the special
features was the singing OF Miss
Preston.
The Tucumcari news and Tucumcari times. [volume] (Tucumcari, N.M.) 1907-1921, 1908-05-16
Believe In Cotton.

J.. T.. Dossey OF Revuelto was in
town Wednesday and called at the
News office.
Last year Dossey planted six
acres OF cotton on rough sod land
aud although planted late, he rails.
ed ? bales OF cotton which he sold
at ten cents per pound. This year
he is planting "a acres in cotton
and believes he will make at leas,
Ia TO the acre.
Persons who come to New Mexi.
co TO get away from a cotton coun.
Try are going to be disappointed
w. w. Wallis and Jim Burnen
OF Quay, were in the city Wednes.
day and paid the News a call.
These boys tell us that many new
settlers are coming in every day.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
wIDOWS,under NEW LAW obtained
by JOHN W. NORRIS.
PENSIONS Washington, d. c.

Professor Smith, the Nebraska au-
thority on live stock feeding. says: l
have had experience in feeding rye to
fattenir~ hogs. Rye alone makes a
fairly good fattening ration though 1t
is less satisfactory than either corn or
wheat. In tests made at the Nebraska
station, we have found that rye has IA
feeding value very nearly 10 per cent
below wheat and practically the same
per cent below corn. In composition
il is much like wheat, but rye does not
seem to be nearly as well relished, at
least hogs will not eat as much rye as
wheat on full feed. A mixture of equal
parts of corn and rye make much
more satisfactory fattening ration than
rye alone and equal arts OF corn, rye
and shorts is still better.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
Beware the Comma.

From the Chicago Evening Post.
Are you a reckless user of commas7
II 80, beware; for the lowly punctuation
mark, for all its dropping. humble aspect,
has vast possibilities of mischief and Is
addicted to twisting sentences into a
mockery OF the writer's ideas.
The commas field of greatest activity
is the law. In the history of Illinois at
least one statute has been overthrown be-
cause the printer, or the proofreader, or
some shrewd politician slipped In a comma
where none was intended, and so ruined
tho whole statute. Nor Is this state alone
in its experience with the diminutivs pune
tuation marks mischief making proclivi-
ties. No less dignified a statute than a
tariff law has been made the sport OF
this innocent appearing mark. The law
In question contained a clause intended
to read "fruit-plants etc. but the printer
substituted a comma for the hyphen, and
thereby placed fruit on the free list.
The whole asphalt imbroglio may be said
TO rest upon a punctuation mark deci-
NAL point this time. When, way back
in 1883. the first asphalt concession was
made, the surveyors report described the
asphalt deposits as $50 instead of 1.S0 me-
ters above the sea, and this mistake sup
piled the Venezuelan courts with an ex-
cuse for revoking the concession.
Clearly, 1t behooves the wisest among
us to keep watchful eye on the comma
and its relatives OF the punctuation fam
lily. When In doubt use a period-and
stop.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
When Aldrieh Was Taken for the
Office Boy.
From SCrlDner s.

Willis at this time was beginning to
feel the approach of the malady that
was eventually to cause hie death, and
spent much of his time at ldlewild, his
country place on the Hudson, leaving
Aldrich to guide the more immediate
destinies of the paper. We get, in the
correspondence and recollections of
that period, some charming pictures Of
the golden haired boy Of 20 sitting in
state in the august editorial chair, with
a dignity no doubt enhanced by the fact
that he also occupied the post of what
is quantity termed literary adviser" 10
the lively and Kaleidoscope publish
ing firm of Derby e. Jackson. A IA
vorite reminiscence OF his was of an
occasion during one Of Willis absences,
when, seated at his desk, he was COM
posing with due deliberation an edi-
torial which seemed to him at the time
likely to arrest the ruinous course OF
national events. His cogitations were
rudely disturbed by a loud stranger
who, after purchasing from an under
ling some back numbers of the paper
turned to the absorbed editor viii
Say. bub. get me piece OF string
will you."
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
Her Intention OWNED.

from tne ATBondut.
Attorney General Moody was once
riding on the platform of a Boston
street car, standing next TO the gate
that protects passengers from cars
coming on the other track. A Boston
lady come to the door of the car, and as
ii stopped started toward the gate,
which was hidden from her by the man
standing before it. "Other side, please
lady" said the conductor. He was ig
nored, as only born -and-bred Boston
ian can ignore a man. The lady took
another step toward the gate. You
must get off the other side" said the
conductor. Il wish to get off this side"
came the answer in tones that con-
gcaled that official into momentary sill
ence. Before he could explain or ex-
postulate Mr.. Moody came to his as
sistauce. stand to one side. gentle
men," he remarked quietly. The lady
wishes to climb over the gate!"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
WAY Out at Sea.

From the St NlCholaS.
The life OF "A seaman iS not lived en-
tirely in port When cruising out on the
broad ocean we steer clear from the
tracks laid for the mail ships, choosing
painless waste where there Is uninteT-
rupted target range. should like TO write
OF 81 days out Of sight OF land, Just cruis-
ing. and drilling as long cruise. but
when | hear sailor men telling tales or
more than a year afioat on an old wind
TANNER ] am ashamed to mention it, al
though / cannot leave of wondering where
all the blue comes fom. Has the ocean
drunk from the heavens until they have
grown pale or is the sky merely mirror
OF the oceans sapphire?
In the calmest weather there are al
ways great blue swels far out at sea.
80 blue so free from whitecaps that one
requires but slight imagination, by look
inR through half closed lids, TO see great
rolling meadows OF gentians. This is
where all the pretty little formalities OF
port life are laid aside-the moment the
anchor Is on deck, the ships flag and the
union jack are folded away, and their
staffs taken down, while simultaneously
with their lowering an ensign mounts 10
the gaff and the admirals flag shrinks
on the main truck.
Il Is at sea we get In our hard work.
and there In so much OF II that half OF
the crew 600 mem are always on duty.
If for the cruise you are chosen IN a
helmsman, you are exempt from sea
watch, deck work, etc
IT isn't bit jolly TO stand trick at
the wheel; it is two hours on and four
hours Off, day and night. Not a word
dare you speak and the presence of an
officer nearby makes a stolen smoke i'm
possible Were a choice offered, / would
say give me a mid-watch aloft in storm
in preference, for there, when the night
is cold although 1t Is not so written in
the regula tions) a peculiar jerking AT n
signal halyard tells you that a can of hot
coffe is on the way, and when II comes
up. you bless 1t from the fulness of your
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
How the Young Idea Shoots.

From EVERYBODY Magazine,
Many of the children are so crammed
With everything that they really know
nothing.
In proof of this. read these veritable
specimens of definitions, written by
public school children:
stability is taking care of stable"
"A mosquito ia the child OF black and
white parents.
Monastery is the place for mon
sters."
"Tocsin is something to do with get
ting drunk"
Representation is to have The small
poN."
"Cannibal is two brothers who killed
each other in the Bible"
Anatomy is the human body, which
consists of three parts. the head, the
Chist and the stumnliCk. The head
contains the eyes and brains, II any
The chist contains the lungs and a
piece OF the liver The stummick is
devoted TO the bowels, Of which there
are FIVE, a, e, /. o, u, and sometimes "
and W
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
Tsnuled Metaphor.

From the MINNEAPOLIS Journal.
1t was in police court in India.
The client of the babu lawyer was a
woman accused of assault and battery,
and the attorney. attacking the oppos-
ing lawyer. delivered himself as fol-
lows: MY learned friend with mere
wind from a teapot thinks TO browbeat
me from my legs. | only seek to place
my bone OF contention clearly in your
honor's eye. My learned friend vainly
runs amuck upon the sheet anchors Of
my case. My poor client has been de-
prived of some of her valuable leather
(skn). the leather OF her nose. Until
the witness explains what became of
my clients nose leather he cannot be
believed: he cannot be allowed to raise
castle in the air by beating upon a
bush"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
The Two Mysteries.

We know not what It is, dear, this sleep
so deep and st,ll;
The folded hands, the awful calm, the
cheek so pale and chill;
The lids that will not lift again, though
we may call and call:
The strange white s1tude Of peace that
settles over all.
We know not what 1t means, dear, this
desolate heart pain:
This dread to take our daily way, and
walk In II again;
We know not to what other sphere the
loved who leave us go,
Nor why we're left to wonder still nor
why we do not know.
But this we know: Our loved and dead,
II they should come this day
Should come and ask us: What Is life"
not one of US could say.
Life is a mystery as deep as ever death
can be;
Yet, Oh how dear II is TO us, this life
We live and see.
The child who enters life comes not with
knowledge or intent;
So those who enter death must go as lit
lie children sent.
Nothing Is known. But / believe that
God Is overhead;
And as life Is to the living, 80 death il
10 the dead.
Mary Mapes Dodge.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
How Erick Got His Start.
From the Ptttsburg Post,

From The FIIIsDUTE TUSI,
one day the Mellon bank in Pitts
burg was amazed to receive from an
unknown man signing himself III. G.
FriCk" a letter requesting the loan Of
500 600, He had very little to offer in
the way OF security, the writer said,
but he pledged his word that II the loan
was made II should be returned with
interest.
The audacity of the request interest
ed the banks head, and he sent trust
ed agent TO find out about the man
Frick. When the agent made his re-
port the bank decided to make the loan.
That 500 900 was the foundation of
the colossal fortune Of Henry Clay
Frick. Not only did he return the prin-
cipal with interest. but the business
which he subsequently gave the Mellon
bank vas worth a hundred times the
amount OF the original loan.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
These Theorists.

From the Philadelphia Inquirer.
Senator Platt seated on the porch or
his hotel at Manhattan beach, con-
demned certain new trends in politics.
Theories. theories" he said, with a
wave Of his hand. Theories and theo-
rists-they are apt TO err, very apt to
err"
Looking out at the white beach and
the sunlit blue sea, he shook his head
and chuckled.
Theorists go mad" he said, over
their theories. You know the theory
that Bull wrote God Save the Queen?'
William Chappell and Joshua Maid
win were the most ardent supporters
of this theory, but one day they found
an inconvenient entry in rare old
Tudor manuscript that threw the
gravest doubt upon their claim.
In this case what did they do? They
clubbed together. bought the manu-
script and burned it with great Sc
creCy, solemnly calculating:
Thank goodness, we have now got
rid of that objection TO our theory
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
A Test Of Faith.


They were cross-examining in Chi
cago court recently, bookmaker who
had been caught in the tolls for playing
some other game than his own. The
third sub-assistant district attorney
was intent upon a conviction. however,
and was doing his best, none too sue
cessfully, to shake the testimony Of the
defendant.
You're sure of that" he yelled. as
the bookmaker stuck to an assertion
that did not suit the case OF the state.
Sure, am certain" came the an
swer.
You remember that you are under
OATH"
II do that"
OF yours?"
Swear TO II? Why. Mr.. Lawyer
and judge. your honor, I'd bet hun
dred on II any day"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
BUYING PAINT HL1NpLY.

Many people look upon paint buying
as lottery and so il is. the way they
do it 1t is not necessarily so, how
ever. Pure White Lead and linseed
oil are the essential elements of good
paint. Adulterants in white lead can
be easily found by the use of blow
pipe. Authorizations in linseed oil can
be detected with fair degree Of GER
tainty. See that these two elements
are pure and properly put on and the
paint will stay put
National Lead Company, Woodbridge
Building, New York City, will send a
blowpipe outfit and instructions for
testing both white lead and linseed
oil, on request
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
The Cautious Reporter.
From SnCC4ss MaRazine-

Young man." said the editor TO the
new reporter, you lack caution. You
must learn never to state a thing as a
fact until 1T has been proved a fact,
You are apt to get us into libel suits.
Do not say, The cashier stole the
funds say. The cashier who is alleged
to have stolen the funds" That's all.
oh. get something about that First
ward social tonight"
The next day, half way down the so
cial cciumn, the editor saw the follow
ing cautious paragraph:
1T is rumored that card party was
given last evening to number of re-
puted ladies of the First ward. Mrs.
Smith, gossip says, was the hostess,
and the festivities are reported to have
continued until 1870 in the evening.
The alleged hostess is believed to be
the wife of John Smith, the so-called
'high-priced grocer.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
An Awful Case.

From Lie.
As Mr.. Tippet came in and started
to remove his overcoat, his wife came
up eagerly. There was look of anX-
iety in her eyes as she kissed him.
Did you think. dear" she asked,
tiInidly. ito get that ribbon"
What ribbon
why don't you know. ] gave you
a sample to match this morning."
so you did. BY Jove, II slipped my
mind"
And did YOU stop in at the mill
liners to ask about my hat"
Did you send the telegram to
mother"
Great heavens, no! You see, was
And see the landlord about the leak
in the roof?'
No. ="
His wife looked at him hopelessly.
Did YOU" she asked sadly, do any
thing l asked you to do this morn
ing? If you didn't you are certainly
the most forgetful man that l car
! conceive Of"
Her husband met her smile with one
| Of the deepest humiliation, as he drew
| from his overcoat pocket small rec
tangular package.
I am. my dear" he exclaimed
! am. indeed! admit ii. I'm getting
more forgetful every day. Why, dc
! YOU know"--and he flourished the
! package in front of her tear stained
| eyes-"Tm getting so forgetful that
| came within an ace OF not getting
these cigars? And / didn't have on,
! left in the house"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
FRIENDS HELP
81. Paul Park Incident.

AFTER drinking coffee for breakfast
1 always felt languid and dull, having
no ambition to get TO my morning du-
ties. Then in about an hour or so a
weak. nervous arrangement OF the
heart and stomach would come over me
with such force l would frequently
have to lie down.
"At other times had severe head
aches: stomach finally became affected
and digestion so impaired that had
serious chronic dyspepsia and constipa-
ton. A lady, for many years State
President OF the W. c. T. u, told me
she had been greatly benefited by quit
ting coffee and using Postum Food
Coffee; she was troubled for years with
asthma. She said 1t was no cross to
quilt coffee when she found she could
have as delicious an article as Postum.
Another lady, who had been trou-
bled with chronic dyspepsia for years,
found immediate relief on ceasing cof-
fee and beginning Postum twice day.
She was wholly cured. Still another
friend told me that Postum Food Coffee
was Godsend to her, her heart trouble
having been relieved after leaving Oh
coffee and taking on Postum.
so many such cases came to my NO
tice that Concluded coffee was the
cause of my trouble and quit and took
up Postum. ! am more than pleased to
say that my days OF trouble have dis.
appeared. am well and happy"
There's a Reason" Read "Tbe Road
TO Wellville," in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A
new one appears from time to time.
They are genuine. true, and full of
human interest.
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
A Chivalrous Judge.

From the Saturday Evening Post.
J. Thomas Hefiin, distinguishe ed
member of the Alabama delegation in
congress. maintains that his state Is
the most Chivalrous in the country.
Nowhere" he recently remarked, us
this more to be observed than in those
least chivalrous of places, the courts of
law. Not long ago one of our best
known Judges. famed for his severity
and his uncompromising loyalty to the
traditions of procedure. had to try a
case in which one OF the witnesses hap
pened to be an actress of no small pop
ularity in the south. 1t CHANGED that
the nature OF her evidence was such
that the usual question about her age
was not likely to be omitted; so when
she came to the stand his honor told
the clerk TO suspend action for a mo-
ment; then, turning TO the actress, he
demanded:
Madam, how old are you?'
'Twenty-six,' replied the witness,
who is SO II she is "A day.
Very WE'LL said the judge, politely.
I asked you that question because, If /
hadn't. 1t would surely have been asked
YOU when the attorney for the defense
cross-examined you. And, now that you
have told us your age, do you swear to
tell the truth, the whole truth, and
nothing but the TRUTH"
Custer weekly chronicle. [volume] (Custer City, S.D.) 1890-1931, 1908-05-09
Remedy for Neuralgia or Pain In
Nerves.

- he"euy oH -.
For neuralgia and sciatica Sloan's
Linimeut has no equal. 1t has a
powerfully sedative effect on the nerves
-penetrates without rubbing and gives
immediate relief from pain-quickens
the circulation Of the blood and gives
a pleasant sensation OF comfort and
warmth.
For three years suffered with
neuralgia in the head and jaws" writes
]. P. Hubbard, of Marietta, S. c.. "and
had almost decided TO have three Of my
teeth pulled, when friend recon-
mended me to buy a twenty y-fye- cent
bottle Of Sloan's Liniment did so
and experienced immediate relief, and
| kept on using it until the neuralgia
was entirely cured. will never be
without a bottle Of Sloan's LinimeDt In
my house again. use 1t also for in
sect bites and sore throat, and l can
| cheerfully recommend it to any one
who suffers from any OF the ills which
! / have mentioned