Vernon County censor. [volume] (Viroqua, Wis.) 1865-1955, 1908-01-29
TRAGEDY OF a clTRoMELoN.
New Invention by UucIe SAINT
Weighed Thirty Pounds.

Weighed Thirty Pounds.
when fellow has his appetite for
watermelon whetted up to the razor
edge point it is awful to be disap-
pointed
That's the way a scientist of the ag-
ricultural department feels about 1t,
according to the New York Suns
washington correspondent
The department scientists woes
arose in this wise: For some days
past at the noon hour watermelons,
halved, quaTtc-ed or sliced, have
adorned many windows of the CONVEX
| ted dwellings on B street where are
housed the employees of the bureau OF
plant industry. A remark was made
about this evidence of liking for
melons that would do credit to an Ala
bama darby of the old-time stripe.
I The information was volunteered
that these were citromelons and not
watermelons. Now, citromelon,
made for the purpose Of producing
fruit that will successfully withstand
a certain melon disease down in Ala
bama. An expert of the department
is shown there patiently developing
the new species.
] He has been remarkably successful
so far as turning out a disease-resist-
ing melon is concerned. So samples
of the citromelon have been passed
around to be tested from the stand
point of an expert and the seeds re-
turned for future USE"
The citronmelon looks for all the
world like a big round watermelon
and sometimes tastes like one. Some
times, because the scientist in Qques-
tion who considers himself real ex
! pert in this particular line asseyerates
thai ,.4ere wassomething wrong with
the one sent him.
Many splendid reports were re.
| turned, together with the carefully
preserved seeds, but this gentlemans
was most discouraging The melon
was fine specimen, weighing at leafs
thirty pounds-about the size over
whclh Rastus would gloat only long
/ " ICetCu IDN lnC Sell fAnS9 hhAACs
The expert went to the pains of de-
vising a special Continuance for con
veying the melon to his home, it
beng entirely 100 fine to sample in
the business atmosphere of the office.
1t was finally landed safely at home
after much care and pain
The refrigerator was emptied of
everything else tubtubice to make
room for thebeauty. Then a family
council was called which lasted a
long time. The decision was to keep
Mr. Melon on ice for twenty-tour
hours and invite in some friends to
the cutting.
MEANWHILE the expert got to work
on his appetite with an imaginary
milestone, which was worked over
time, and his better half and the rest
of the household had no trouble work
ing up appet,tes quite as sharp. The
guests received glowing accounts OF
Mr.. Melon and their appetites, to say
nothing of their curiosity, were sharp
ened for the fray.
The testing was to be so special
that the expert arranged to leave his
office early in order to insure ample
time to do an artistic bit of carving in
honor of the occasion. Dinner over,
the melon was brought forth and set
in the midst by the butler, whose eyes
fairly popped out of his head-for he
came from the region where Mr..
Melon originated. Everybody said it
was just lovely. And it as, to all ap,
pearances.
When the finely sharpened knife
sunk into it the feel was all rigth, too.
But when the two halves were turned
owed chorus of Mortified shrieks rent
the air-the melon was as green as a
cucumber.
NOV, wouldn't that make man
say things?" asked the deeply blush
ing scientist, who saw his reputation
as an expert fading away in the misty
distance. Why, I've not been so dis
appointed in years. My appetite for
piece OF melon was worked up to a
fine point, especially since it was my
first melon this season and looked so
very promising. The comedown was
something awful-a rapid fall from
the heights of bliss to the valley Of
darkest despair.
"Of course, we had 20 examine the
melon, p4ter vainly endeavoI. ng to as
suage our disappointment by the bits
of philosophy which kindly suggested
themselves to our sad minds. The
discovery was made that the melon
was quite immature in spite of its size
and splendid appearance. The seed
was as white as chalk and only parti-
ally developed.
so we're all still wondering what
the melon would have been if left to
mature-the services Of a Missouri
mule would be required to tote it
home"