Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-07-10
NNNNNONNNNN

Il understand the new magazine has
a high standard" Indeed it has. II
went up yesterday Constitu-
don.
Redd-What kind Of a machine have
you got now? Greene-A runabout; 1t
will run about block, and then stop.
-Yonkers Statesman.
Authoress-I'm very happy in my
married life. | find my husband such
a help. Friend-Indeed! Does he
cook. or wrlte?-Fliegende Blaetter.
"Maude was afraid the girls wouldn't
notice her engagement ring" did
theyT Did they! Six Of them rec
ognized it at once Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
II hear yer frien' Tamson's marriet
again" AYE, so he is. He's been a
dear frien' tae me. He's cost me three
weddin' presents an twa wreaths."-
London Tit-Bits.
"Is your husband voracious in his
appetite, MADAME" 81 can't say as he
is, doctor. He'll eat anythink and ev-
erythink as long as there's anythink
to eat."-Baltimore American.
He-If you refuse me | shall go out
and hang myself to the lamp-post in
front of your house. She-Now, George,
you know father said he wouldn't have
you hanging around here.-Life.
Ever seen Congress in session"
NO. replied Farmer Coboss, "but l
know how it looks. l hev a hired man
who kin git as busy doing nothin' as
anything on earth. h."-Washlngton Her
aid.
Mr.. Newlywed-But my love, why
are you weeping? Mrs. Newlywed-
Oh, John! John! just peeped into
the kitchen and saw that cook has
on her travelling gown. - Harper's
Weekly.
81 want a man to do odd jobs about
the house, run on errands, one that
never answers back and is always ready
to do my bidding" You're looking for
husband, ma'am, not a man" The
Jewish Ledger.
HI Tragerdy-Yes, 1e opened in Osh-
kosh. Lowe Comerdy-And what did
your audience think Of your Ham
let" HI y-Wey-er-he went
7 ho1 81, To ocIy I'm,
Philadelphia Press.
"Cheer up, old man, said the consol'
ing friend. You know love laughs al
locksmiths" "Yes, | know" replied
the detected lover. But her father
amt locksmith he's a boilermaker.
Detroit Free Press.
He-So your father thought I want
ed to marry you for your money. What
did you say? She-I persuaded him
that you didn't, and then he said If
that was the case you didn't have any
sense.-The Jewish Ledger.
willie, did you put your nickel in
the contribution box in Sunday school
to-day" mo, mamma! l ast Eddy
Lake, the preachers son, If couldn't
keep it an spend 1t for candy, an he
gave me permission. Denver News
Young man." said the pompous in
dividual, 81 did not always have this
carriage. When l first started in life
| had to walk" "You were lucky"
chuckled the youth. when | first
started In life couldn't walk. The
Catholic News.
Nell-He doesn't know anything
about the little niceties Of paying at
tention to a girl. Belle-Why, saw
him tipping your shoestring. Nell
Yes; but he tied it In double knot, 80
1t couldn't come united again.-Phila-
delphia Record.
what you want Is stenographer
who is rapid and absolutely accurate"
WELL" answered Mr.. Bliggins, rapid
lty is all right, but as to accuracy
well, don't want to be held down
strictly to my own ideas Of grammar"
washington Star.
Miss Cutting-I see by the paper
that all the swell set was at the AS
sembly ball last night. Miss McBluff-
Yes; l expected to be there, but was
prevented Miss Cutting-The idea !!
hope the doorkeeper wasn't rough
with you, dear.-Catholic Standard and
Times.
Tommy-Do you believe 1t is fortu.
nate to be the seventh son? Mickey
Nav! I'm the seventh son. Tommy
But the fortune tellers say the seventh
son has all kinds of luck handed down
to him. Mickey-Huh! All l have
handed down to me is me six brothers
old clothes.-Chicago News.
First Gentleman (entering the apart
ment of second gentleman About q
year ago you challenged me to fight
dual Sepond Gentlaman (stprnly)-