The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1908-03-29
Ia ID IL oLp III.
El,pAss PoFoSyAl and AIOWynStts YSO,as
Return Prem Cellege.

day was ZONE.
Eust % Pero0Val Snookina, the only
son. was 10 return to the old farm afts'
having bean graduated from Harvard
Returning with him was his siSter. AlCWyn'
ette Ys9lds snooklnS, the only daughter,
Just graduated from Vassar.
For weeks and weeks, - stated, all hands
on the farm had been on the keo we've.
The proud and happy old farmer and hi'
wife drove over to the station IN the greer
and red bodied wagon siI hours ahead Of
time to meet their progeny. They bodghti IL
cents worth OF crackers and cheese who're
with TO beguile the time during their lonl
wait for the train. and fed the horSes a
the back Of the wagon.
When the train at length pulled IN theiI
excitement was great
But they scarcely recognized their on
spring when the latter swung on the train.
The one time ireckle faced, angular,
gawky, shambling EustaOe PercSvsl
Snookins was now only . shade undei
six feet two. with Atlas shoulders, and he
look ed as II he might beableto give Hacken-
schmidt a tussIe on tho mat. He was logged
in a COS suit Of clothes and there was . gay,
varihued band on his rakiSh soft hat.
Alcwynette Ysolde snookinS also was
nearly the entire bill Of lAding. From q
hanky-pank hoyden. With involuntary
warts on all the digits Of both hands, she
had blossomed into an ATLANTA 10 q tailored
81 il that look ed a. II II had been painted
on, and a flower pot hat that was not only
up with, but three jumps ahead Of the
millinery mode
She was about FIVE feet ten. HSbe shaped,
andif she wasn't a raging. roaring beauty,
then the Empress Of China ls ono. Acwyn-
cite Ysolde Snookins, getting Oh the train.
looked a. IL she belonged IN q London
Graphic picture Of q royal lawn fete, dip
ping out champagne, under q Tapping mar
quee. for the Duo de- Coimegit.
why, hullo, there. popi' exclaimed
Eustace Perceval. Clutching his fathers
proud, horny paw. Same old fringe,
seel' plsyfully ~tWiddling the old mans
Galways. Pipe the high watersl' pointing
gayly at his dads homeepun trousorS, which
we're somewhat hesitant about the shoe
tops. Still wearing hong made Sus-
penders, | sec, and home made haircutsl
Well, we'll, dear old pop!' and the bright,
sunny haired lad ono more olutched his
fathers weather Drowned hand.
why, hay-o, maw!- said AlcWynette
Ysolde to her mother, Offering her a pretty
cheek 10 kiss. you look SOM on the
fritz, mawl Still getting out Of the shucks
at 3 o'clock every morning and milking
those thirty Holsteins, | s'poSei My word,
tho same old Paisley shawl, | do declared
And, cay, NAV. how your nose does shine.
doesn't it? Don't they sell any tSlcum
around here? And the same old cameo
brooch! Tush. mamma, and | see you're
wearing a pair Of the hired mans Shoesl
Dear old maWl'
Never before we're such happy greetings
heard in Dumpvale!
l. They drove home to the old farm In the
red and green bodied wagon. Eustaoe Per-
ceval and Alcwynette Ysolde kidding each
other about 1t and also strlnging the staring
population that lined the road.
We'll, we'll. II won't dot will not serve
remarked Eustace Perceval when once
more. after his long absence, he had crossed
b eneath the old Intel, Looks like the
c~otter's Saturday night, the hull shack
Pop, you want TO tear ID down right
away and build q house-A sure enough
humink house. Dye mean 20 say that you
eat in this corner Of the cave st1li
why, say, guy, a Chink wouldn't stow
chop suey in his face in such a dining room
as this, on the level he Wouldn't The hull
bloomink plants got TO come down, that's
all, and an honest lnjun house to live In has
got TO he built on this Site ..
well. II this wouldn't snap your Z string!'
murmured Alcwynette Ysolde, gazing
about her gloomily. Same old red imita-
ton damAsk tablecloth with holes In II
on the dining room table. | see.
.And didn't | write 10 you, nav, and
ask o 10 put up some Swiss. curtains
instead Of those mummy wrappingsl And
say-Eusty, hold me, will youi-look at
that Middle Ages o%ontraption In the front
room that whatnot with the. dinky sea
shells and the curled UP autumn leaves
and junk spraddled all over II! Wouldn't
that impede your movementsl
Wouldn't that looomotor ajax any
body? There's no use OF talking, nav
you've got 10 cut out this antediluviAn
business and get next. or therell be some-
thing transpiring around here, and that's
no wireless from the Rad Lands.
why, this dump looks like four days
over the mountains on mule back In
darkest Rentucky-doesn't II, Eustyi'
The old farmer and his wife
However, just q moment, please.
II the gentle reader expects that this
story is going TO wind up in the conventional
Naakinn ~ the oAAnh hA untnhN RttaN ~ all
turn over TO the real estate news and the
automobile notes.
The conventional method Of terminating
the story would be 10 portray the horny
handed old farmer In the act OF vulgarly
e~xpectorating on his mltCs, rolling up his
sleeves, inviting Eustace Perceval out
10 the old red barn, handing Eustace Per-
ceyal more than was coming 70 him with
a fence picket for about fifteen minutes
or more and then putting Eustace Peroeval
at work cleaning an old set Of harness with
a bum rag and q bottle Of n~eatsfoot oil.
And in like conventional manner the
radiant Alcwynette Ysolde's mother would
be pictured ~ proceeding TO pranoe into
that young woman with an assorted line
Of Cynthia conversation on the subject
Of Alcwynette Ysolde's having got too big
and bulgy for her shirt waists, and then
Alcwynette Ysolde would be shown as
rugged out In q green and red Persian
pattern calico wrapper and cot TO, work
washing and ironing the hired mans
lingerie.
But
II Is intended to cleave unto strictly
truthful. even II disappointing, dolineations
Of what actually happens in circumstances
such az these herewith presented. even at
the sacrifice Of the comic supplement spirit.
Therefore
Eustaoe Perceval and Alowynette Ysolde