The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-04-30

N.Y.
c. aoSrnH-
The ordinary political convention 81
. collection Of wild animals. whose an
ties ere extremely amusing. but abso
iutely without form n void Nothing
outside Of a cage fun OF monkeys can
present such an example Of futile &C
tiyity. Zach delegate Is duly ticketed
and loaded with his proper credentials
and fondly imagines that he really is
Of some Importance In the gathering.
that Is. he does II he Is a green
hand. II be Is a seasoned campaign.
er. he knows that he merely repre-.
sents the people, and the chairman
and secretary OF the convention rep.
resent the delegates. and the boss
es represent the chairman and sec
Rotary. BY means OF this sliding scale
Of actual power il win be seen that
the bosses" represent the peoplei
Il was my deep delight to have at
tended a number OF political conven.
tions The win Of the people stood
about deuce high" IN the political
deck The win Of the bosses vas
always the ace and II could be and
was turned from the bottom or top
Just as the emergencies demanded.
---
Imagine a long. low. rakish ham. the
atmosphere a wavy blue with tobacco
smoke Aisles are cut through to the
platform. generally three IN number.
to admit Of committees on this. that
and the other to go forward to he
platform and hand IN their cut-and-
dried communications. The different
wards and districts are ranged about
the ball each with It's particular spot
70 stay IN. like checkers on a board
before the game begins. Many OF
these delegates are IN their shirt
sleeves. and many are talking wildly.
ge~sticulating powerfully and In other
ways molding the destinies OF their
country. The very few who are not
smoking are choking.
On the platform are two tables. ii
which the chairman Of the convention
sta. be having been chosen by the
powers that be. He Is a mere puppet
IN their hands. understanding what
they want. and at any and an times
ready 10 carry ont their wishes. The
secretary is a mere echo; the assist.
ant secretaries mere assistant echoes
Two or three highly respectable
sioughton-bOttles Of various titles sit
on the stage to deceive the uninteIll.
gent observer into the BELIEF that
things are -on the square" A pitcher
Of water is on the chairman's desk
for he wiz open the convention with
. speech In that speech he viii giori.
~ the proud history Of his own party
and skin. salt and nail to the political
emoke-house the hide OF the opposite
party. This Is a species OF buncombe
which is always INDUCED in.
Sometimes a convention Is opened
with prayer This is something which
cannot be touched on at length. for
the devil himself could not conceive a
more grotesQue bIasphemy. Most con
ventions are opened with political
1immies, being b~urglariOus aggrega
lions, brought together for purposes
OF p~lundsring men Of their political
rights. The chairman has his speech
carefully learned by heart. and he is
invariably eloquent. pungent. witty.
scholarly, terse. dense. nowery and
long winded. But he finally subsides
aud then. after the committees re-
ports and the platform are finished.
q some more political red tape il
gotten through with. the WORK OF
nominating candidates Is begun. But
before the convention has reached the
point OF being ready 70 yote there
have been a number Of battles fought
70 a finish before the various commit
tees on credentials.
In certain wards Of the cities. or
certain districts IN the country. there
may be a dispute about some dele.
gates, these claiming the right 10 rem.
resent the people. those putting In
q eounterclaim for recognition In
such cases. contests are begun and
The respective claims thrashed out be-.
fore the committee on credentials
which have the power TO review these
disputes 10 the various districts or
wards.
No one bat the contestants aud the
committee and the other delegates are
allowed Ia the committee rooms IN
these contests, Il being a sort OF fam.
ily AFFAIR. Usually. the contests are
determined according 10 the way the
bosses want them 10 be decided.
but If is doesn't matter about a vote
or two. the bosses allow the com.
mittee TO do as they please. Evidence
Is beard speeches are made. aud the
committee picks the winner.
The bosses" keep accurate tab
on the number Of votes they need
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