Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1908-12-18

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3 Short Stories q
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birthday, referred IN a ~jocular way 10
the precoclty Of the twentieth-century
child. why, before long" he sald'
1--WE shall hear Of the baby that has
| just been weaned turning to Its nurse
| and saying: L have every reason 10
be satisfied with your past services
and shall not fail to recommend you
among my ac%quaintances. Pray accept
| this dollar for yourself"
At a dinner Of a legal association
held in Washington not long ago one
of the speakers told Of a farmers son
in Illinois who conceived a desire to
shine as a legal light. Accordingly he
went up to Springfield, where he &C
cepted employment at a small sum
! from a fairly we'll known attorney. At
the end Of three days study he re-
turned to the farm. well, Bill, howd'd
We like the law" asked his father. 1T
amt what it's cracked up to be- re-
sponded Bill gloomily. I'm sorry l
learned it."
Theodore =. Roberts had a fluent
command of language, both in speak
ing and writing, and was well liked by
everybody. He could secure h atten-
ton Of a negligent publisher If need
be. To one such, who was remiss
about sending vouchers, he once closed
up a long letter with the sentence:
"And, finally, my dear sir, permit me
to say that 1t would be easier for Il
camel to ride into the kingdom Of heav-
en- on a velocipede than for any n to
find a late copy of your paper In the
city of New York"
Isaac O'BarnS, once pension commits
sioner in Boston, appointed by fresi-
lent Franklin Pierce, was now for
his terse and cutting sayings. 1t was
told of him that he promised to sub
scribe for the erection Of a Baptist
church on condition that they should
"baptize 'em in hot water" 1t Is OF
Mr.. O'Barns the story is told that when
on his d%eathbed, or when he thought
he was dying, and the doctor a pro-
nounced his feet warm and said that
no one had ever died with warm feet,
the old gentleman inquired IN a whis-
per whether the doctor had forgotten
the case of John Rogers.
1t was closing time at the town IL
brary. Old Mr.. Duke, who had filed
the place of librarian for years, took
down his coat and hat and with the
assistance of his little daughter got
them safely on. Together they started
for the door. 1t was raining hard.
"Wait n moment, child" said her.fath-
er, and went back into the building.
The girl remained, obediently. Five
minutes passed. Then ten. She pushed
open the door and walked In. Her faith
er was bent over one of the card cata-
logues. What are you looking Tor,
father?' she inquired. He put the
drawer back, suddenly abashed. I'm
getting old, Margaret" he said. II
couldn't find my umbrella, and l was
searching for it under U in the lists
In the course of his remarks the lee
turer reviewed the agricultural pros
poets Of the country, and as an illus
tration told a story of a poor farmer
who had died, leaving to his wife the
farm heavily mortgaged. He said that
the widow set to work with a will and
succeeded upon n years wheat crop
In paying off the entire mortgage.
When he had completed his lecture, the
gentleman shook hands and greeted the
members of his audience. One middle
aged man finally approached him
thoughtfully and began: II say, mis-
ter, you told a story bout the widow
raising a mortgage on one years crop:'
."Yes, my friend that was a true story.
1t happened only two years ago"
swell. sir, could you tell me who that
widow is? She's just the kind Of wom-
an I've been looking for all the time