davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20
AMERICAN MARKSMANSHIP.

If this country should. become in
volved In great war, would the
craftsmanship Of its army and navy
be equal to the occasion? This ques-
ton is answered by Livingston Wright
in an article on shooting to Hit, With
Big Guns" in the Technical World
Magazine for April. The article Is
based on the recent artillery practice
at Boston, at Fortress Monroe and al
Magdalena Bay.
To appreciate this shooting 1t is
necessary to understand that every
single shot was necessarily studied out
in the light of the following facts and
conditions: The curvature of the
earth, the speed of the projectiie, the
distance of the target, the density of
the afr. the direction and speed of the
wind, the temperature and age of the
powder when placed in the gun, the
height of the tide at the moment of
firing and the drift of the projectile,
which answers the curve" of base
ball. In estimating the effects of these
influences there are required hairline
telescopes, thermometers. anemome-
ters, weather vanes. stop watches and
many other delicate instruments.
What, then will be thought of the
statement that recently a ten-inch
battery in the fort in Boston harbor,
firing at a target four and one-half
miles distant and moving at the rate
of five miles an hour, struck it with
every one of six successive shots, fired
within less than four minutes, and that
on the following day even this record
was excelled by a battery of twelve
inch guns? The size of the target is
not given but the hits of both bat
teries were punched in a rectangle of
ten by twenty feet.
At Fortress Monroe Captain Kill
bourn was called upon recently to fire
at a moving pyranidial target, without
knowing its distance or speed. It's dis
lance was, in fact. three and a half
miles. The caliber Of the gun is not
given, but Captain Kilbourn put four
shots through the target in less than
one minute and nine seconds. the last
shot demolishing 1t.
Again at Magdalena Bay the whole
fleet, steaming back and forth in bat
tie formation, fired at a target twelve
by twenty-four feet in size at a dis
lance of LOO yards. The worlds bat
terry fire record was broken, and on
the Maryland the record Of hits with
its six inch guns was 6.41 per gun per
minute. while the record of one of
these guns was 1885 hits per minute,
which is close to the worlds record for
single gun.
All this is not exactly surprising, as
the Americans have always had a
reputation for Workmanship. and still
it is gratifying to their pride to know
that they are living up to their reputa-
ton.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison Globe

CFrom the Atchison Globe.l
Watch a man peel an apple, and
you'll want a bite.
There is a happy medium between
the words "miser" and "spendthrift.'
Do babies know the truth about you
when they stare so impudently al
you?
spending money, others experience in
saving it.
A Pinkerton detective is working on
the Huron bank robbery and OF course
the town is "all agog."
Don't tell q girl to save up her
money to buy something: the poor
thing has no money to save UP.
There is also an exaggerated idea
as to the number of >good things to
be found in the average refrigerator.
The pessimist is farmer who
never feels sure of his wheat crop I'M
til he has spend the money derived
from its sale.
What has become of the old-fash-
toned woman who went out to look
for her boy with a switch under her
apron?
There is certain time in girls
life when a man cannot look at her
that she does not think ne is admir-
ing her.
So many troubles in family arise
from poverty, that this is one reason
the children always blame so much
on father.
There is saying that people are as
'homely as a mud fence Did any
one ever see a mud fence, or know If
there is such a thing?
You will observe that the little
girls have an ambition Tor high heels
and corset that corresponds closely
to a boys desire to get shaved.
The only woman who has a right
to take advantage of leap year privi-
leges, and propose, is the woman who
has lots of money in her own name.
head that when a girl looks par
ticularly nice. it just happened. He
doesn't appreciate that she has been
working for months to that end.
If daughter can make a satisfac-
tory showing in the glad Eastertide,
mother is usually willing to trim her
old hat over, or wait for the millinery
bargain sale that will come later.
The women have fads for collecting
things: Why does not some woman
try the fad of making a collection of
silver dollars? She would be greatly
appreciated by her husband if she
did.
After a man has been accused of
stealing. though he may have proven
Ills ihloScuGS, the people LOT the rest
of his life, will tighten their hold on
their pocketbooks when they see him
coming.
When you were a boy, did you have
any financial dealings with your
father? If you did, they were con-
Quoted on this plan: Your father gave
you a. calf and when you had taken
care of it for some time, and 1t be-
came COW. he sold it and put the
money in his pocket. Almost every
boy has a grievance of this kind
against his father.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

Birdie Blanche. Pittsburg girl, died
in New York few days ago: She was
trick horse rider with Coles circus.
Grant Maddox Of lola sold a couple
Of valuable colts the other day. He got
5000 for two year old and 500 for q
yearling.
A travelling man had an attack of
hiccoughs while In Marquette this
week. and the people thought he was
inquiriing for Mr.. Elk. who lives there.
A Burr Oak boy who heard about
how hard it Is to quit chewing tobac-
CO declares he had no trouble quit
ting after he got through with his
first chew.
A burglar alarm in the First Nation
al bank of Chanute went on accident
ally last week, and the whole town had
visions of the Starr gang, the Daltops
and the James boys.
Fishing is reported to be the best In
years in Doniphan lake. near Atchison.
One man caught over 80 crappies there
one day last week. Or rather one man
is said to have caught that many.
A cook IN Coffeyville used some Of
her mistress violet scented face cream
instead of lard in frying chicken for
a company dinner, and the result was
not quite the success that she antici-
pated. .41s ea
An Emporia man comes to the de-
Tense of the much abused dandelion.
He says: 'DandeHons not only are an
excellent food, but a fine spring medi-
cine, and every man would be better
off if he consumed bale OF them
every day"
The Pratt Union chuckles because
"Our egg episode, wherein the Pratt
lady borrowed a dozen eggs when they
We're worth "a cents and paid them
back when worth but IL ents, causing
trouble. has now reached the New
Y,a
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

It is not easy to light q gas stove
after it has gone out-tnrough the
roof.
A woman considers man cruel
when he agrees with her AZ soon as
she starts an argument.
\
If fellow did not think q girl was
a thousand times too good for him he
would never marry her.
\ y
A husband generally makes his
wife a monthly allowance while she
has to make daily ones for him.
h X X
There is this difference between
reputation and character. Reputation
is the name your neighbors give you
and character is the one they take
from you.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20
EROx OTHER PENS
EXTEND THE BURTON ACT.

Z YIN AL.
The American Civic Federation
seeks to secure an extension Of the
Burton act-a temporary measure for
the protection OF Niagara Falls. The
Civic federation, dedicated to the lofty
purpose of securing better and
more beautiful America" naturally
makes the preservation of Niagara
Falls one of its chief objects. To its
efforts probably more than any other
influence is due the passage Of the
Burton act, which limits the amount
of water that can be drawn from
Niagara Falls on the American side. 1t
has checked the raid Of New York
power companies on the waters OF
Niagara river. and 30 far as its in
fluence goes the act has proved
beneficial.
Unfortunately, the state depart
ment at Washington, has not yet sue
ceeded in persuading Canada to deny
itself the material advantage of sac
rfficing Niagara Falls scenic grandeur
to power purposes. Secretary Roots
efforts have been reinforced by the
valuable and sympathetic assistance
of Ambassador Bryce, but no interna-
tional agreement is yet even in sight.
The Burton act was approved June
20, 1896, and by its terms it is to ex-
pire in three years The second and
short session of congress is not a IA
vorable one for legislation of this
character, and the Civic federation
desires to see the life Of the Burton
act extended at this session and the
American protection of the falls guar
anteed for a longer period.-Phfla-
delphia Press.
CHARACTERISTIC IMPROvIDENCE
An account of the biggest dove
shoot" ever arranged comes from At
lanta. Ga. 1t states that a field of sew
eraI hundred acres was baited freely
for several weeks and then sportsmen
to the number Of 150 gathered for the
slaughter. At the appointed time the
fusillade opened just after dawn. when
the birds began to fly. and when the
gunners were stated fully 5000 pigeons
were lying dead on the field. Another
bird shoot was given on a baited field
in the same state for 60 gunners, and
between 1000 and 1900 pigeons were
killed. The stories Of these wholesale
killings of pigeons is supplemented by
the assurance that despite this great
erous as ever. This is doubtful, as ex-
perience elsewhere has demonstrated
that such slaughter Is the forerunner
of determination.
There were, pigeon roosts'' in this
part of the country so years ago. and
clubs by the thousands. Hunters who
participated in slaughter Of this kind
were wont to console those who pro-
tested with the remark that the pigeons
would continue to be az plenty as ever.
But the birds disappeared, and now a
wild pigeon is a rarity-at least in the
vicinity of Milwaukee. With hunts on
baited fields for pigeons and other birds
in the south and spring shooting along
the route of migrating birds to the
nesting places in the north woods"
there will soon be great reduction In
bird life throughout the country.-Mfl-
waukee Wisconsin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20
HUA0p OF TIE Day;

Twill you please drive on the trackT" ;
asked the motorman-
side. ! TSan Gl, You evsr 50 m1cn. sddsd
the motorman. with smile a..
truck driver, s"but You must pardon my
car was 30 near."-Philadelphia Ledger.
Did you ever figure out how much .
few hundred dollars put aside every year
will amount to In timer
but the man with whom invested It fS-
me a chance at it."-WashinEton Star.
Bigley-You don't believe In a college Sd
Jisiey-No. it units a man for every
how much more intsihsentiy he could. on
10y wealth than the averase man doss.-
''You couldn't interest that CAPITALIST IN
your flying machiner
NO.. answered the inventor. II CON
couldn't see 1t because there were not pro-
visions made for strap-hanging passen-
gers.'-Washingtoin Star.
''What?" asks the maiden aunt. "0oing
to marry that Mr.. Newwunf Why, you
few days you have been acquainted with
him you cannot possibly have learned
anything OF his family antecedents or hao-
its or personal circumstances"
That Is true. Aunt KeturAh. But you
have always told me that no woman who
knows anything about a man Will marry
him. Success.
IT hear your daughter IL musical" said
the casual caller to the keeper OF the old
village inn.
"Musical1 You bet she is,., said the
MISUNDERSTANDING American.
People who work In a rut are easily lost
sight of.-Life.
Then you won't have met" asked
young Julius Caesar.
coy caipurnis. 'se cae se wife. remember.
must be above suspicion. wv ashington
Herald.
You should not allow your wealth to
make you proud
.Proud!' echoed Mr.. Dustin Etax.
why. I have force Of accomplished
It, '-Washington Star.
The Chinese noted that lot of plumber
sold in America w sa Commenced mes ed a ae
educated mandarin, ut isn't a dead loss.
Part Of the money will be sent over here
to convert us."-Philadelphia Ledger.
well WELL" exclaimed the bachelor
he's the dead image Of you. JACK
had been up half the night, s'he's the T iiv.
ing image. II he's anything. "-Philadel-
ohia Press. IL
friend. that he had to be taken from
you IN what ,9t you might say was the very
yes" sobbed the widow .and inst
when had got him cured Of all his bad
habits. Record-Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20
TYPEWRITER GIRL SCORES.


Some doubt seems to exist in the
minds of experts as to whether the
mother-in-law or the typewriter girl
form OF humor is more popular. In
age. both of topic and Individual, the
former has much the advantage, for,
while the typewriter maiden came into
existence only a third of century ago,
and the oldest of her is still COMPARE
lively young. the mother-in-law is of
ancient origin. having existed for such
a period of time that the memory of
man runneth not to the contrary. and
we are informed by those familiar with
the hieroglyphics of Egyptians and the
cuneiform inscriptions of the As
syrians that the original drafts of
many of the popular equips relating to
the humorous habits OF the wife's
maternal ancestor have been found
craven on the pyramid of the former
and the clay tablet of the latter. The
typewriter girl joke, although it en-
tered the race with a handicap of some
four or five thousand years, has al
ready made such progress that it has
became an active competitor of it's
hoary rival.
Those whose familiarity with the
fluffy haired. nimble fingered goddess
who presides over the destinies Of
every up-to-date business office is
gained from the comic papers would
be led to believe that her chief stock
in trade was her gum, her good looks
and her slang, and that in creating her
Nature had omitted such ingredients
as brains and character. Light and
vapid, a mere business butterfly fitting
from office to Office until one Is found
which presents the possibility of a
romantic ending wherein the manager,
orange blossoms, elderly slippers and
rice figure prominently-that Is the
hilarious picture given us of a class of
young women numbering some hun
dreds of thousands, many Of tn EN- sup
porting or helping to support parents
or other members of the family.
The news columns of the daily press
hardly bear out the humorist's impress
sion. In London recently New York
girl, by her rapid and accurate work
on the typewriter, attracted the atten-
ton of the Prince and Princess of
Wales and not only wrote for them
but, we are told, was asked to sign her
name to a paper, which the prince put
in his pocket and carried away as a
souvenir, a mark of favor which many
really funny men would covet in vain.
Another dispatch with an Indiana date
line tells how the daughter of a de-
faulting treasurer Of Muncie, a stenog-
rapher, refused the offer of the officials
of the town to cancel the debt and in
ten years has paid the obligation in
full in order to free her fathr's name
and hers from the stain Of embezzle-
ment. Jokes and jokers come and go,
but the mother-in-law remains with us
for more or less extended periods OF
time and the typewriter girls hangs
her hat on the accustomed hook be-
and the door and proving
that punctuation is not yet entirely a
lost art-her remarks with "Gee!" and
"Ain't it awful. Mabel?" But in the
contest for supremacy the pen Of the
humorist has proved itself unequal in
power to the sword of justice.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

'sHow old is Ann 2" How much does
Il cost to keep a hen?" What is
the size of a piece of chalk?'' "Is
Mars inhabited?" and other kindred
questions of rather. indefinite deter
nination have been forgotten by To-
pekans. The burning question with
us now is when does Lent end ?"
And the probable answer that will be
decided on eventually is that Lent
ends according to the convenience Of
those who are interested in it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

1t appears that the reason the
adjournment of congress has been
postponed from May to May Is or
16 is so that the governors of the va
rfous states who are to confer with
the president on May IS, will have a
chance to see the national law
makers perform. If 1t was remain
ing in session for anorner week to
pass some much needed legislation
the reason for the postponement OF
the adjournment would be a good and
sufficient one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
[From the New York Pre-

lFrom the New York Press.l
People insist ON morality unless it's
for themselves.
When a woman hasn't q good figure
it's q sign everybody IL an old cat not
to think she has.
A man can sit up all hours of nirhf
with girl and never get bored until
after they are married.
A wife calls IL not being faithful to
her when her husband thinks another
woman's hair curls naturally.
Nobody should blame a poor girl for
not screaming at being kissed when
her mouth II all stopped UP that Wv,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20
sPRuNGI.Ers.

In the spring the horse at pasture
Seeks anew the city streeta;
IN the spring he getteth gay and
Kicks the dashboard DER the seats
In the spring the hon1Eing autos
On the slip'ry pavements skid;
In the spring the high hat wearer
Chases tar his bounding lid.
In the spring the hopeful maiden
LOOKS ahead to leafy June;
An the spring she thinks she hears 'em
Play the stately wedding tune.
In the spring the hated meter
Registers Q lower rate:
In the spring the hungry heeler
KTomiaos to saye the state
Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20
Driven Out by a Ghost.

NJ. Constans. who has been for many
years the Ambassador Of France at
Constantinople. has asked for his re-
call
It is no secret at the foreign office
that M. Constants is being driven out
Of Turkey by a ghost. The Red
Palace where he passes the summer, is
haunted. Some time ago a certain
Prince Ypsolanti hanged himself there.
Since then the palace has been unin-
habitable. The nights are filled with
sinister noises, with bowling and wall
ing.
NJ. Constans. who is a large, old man
Of great weight, declares he has been
shaken out Of his bed by unseen hands.
He adds that upon one occasion the
bed was tilted up almost to a perpen-
dicular. The Ambassadress herself has
not escaped. Once, 1t is asserted she
was thrown from the top to the bottom
OF the staircase.
Another time she was attacked in the
gardens Of the palace by something
dark and goatish; 1t butted her over
and caused serious injury. There was
neither goat nor ram In the garden,
and M. Constans considers the attack
inexplicable.
At the Embassy in Constantinople
things are no better. Four Of the at
tendants have died mysteriously in the
last month or so-the dragoman. the
the man chosen to replace him. a
Frenchman named Pierre
The Ambassador declares that he Is
not superstitious. but he has had
enough Of Turkey. and especially of
the kind Of ghost they have In that
part Of the world.-Paris Gable to New
York American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

They're talking Of bringing i'm
parchment proceedings against Gov
ernor Deneen of Illinois on charges
of juggling with coal contracts to
benefit political friends and loading
down institutional pay rolls with
henchmen to thwart the civil service
law. It is certainly an unusual period
of time when something highly excit-
ing is not transporting in the state
whose chief bid for fame is that it is
the home of Chicago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

Mr.. Forgan, president of the First
National bank of Chicago, told the
currency committee of the house of
representatives, that money would
soon be a drug on the market and
that so much of it would accumulate
in the banks that 1t is going to be
very difficult to find use for 1t. There
are any number of people who would
like to play the part or a bank when
this time arrives.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

Rumors are insistent that there
will be a dissolution of the joint
management of the Rock Island and
Frisco lines. 1t would seem that
something of this sort would be in
order for the combination of these
systems is a most cumbersome one.
These various lines radiate in such al
most countless different directions
that a single management Of them
would appear to be well nigh i'm
nnsafhle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

vocated by the American Bankers as
siciatfon- Such a plan would make
relief possible for the smaller banks
which would have been practically
denied them under the original terms
Of the measure
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

Governor Johnson of Minnesota
and Governor Hughes of New York
seem to have a most peculiar trait in
common. They both may be said to
be candidates for nominations for the
presidency and neither one of them
will have word to say on anything
that touches on politics. They re-
mind one of Mr.. Bryan and Mr.. Taft
because they're different.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

The last $1,000 needed to make the
popular subscription for the fair
fund reach $4,000 seems to come a
good deal slower than did the first
$4,000. There are many who can
well afford to subscribe to the fund
who have not done SO and they should
not delay longer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

Good news comes from Washington
to the effect that if the Aldrich elias
tic currency bill passes the house of
1t will not pass in the
form in which it was enacted by the
senate. If it is passed at all 1t will
be with an amendment carrying out,
in an emergency measure, the general
idea of a currency based on bank
paper, rather than on bonds. as ad-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20
Riding an Ostrich.

IT don't believe the stories told about
the natives in Africa and Australia rid
ing ostriches," said a Californian who
gives riding lessons in an uptown rid
ing academy, land I saw this pretty
we'll tried on one occasion in my state.
A cowboy who had vanquished every
pony he ever undertook to break in
was induced to try an ostrich. After
an hours hard work he succeeded in
mounting the bird, which at first tried
to shake and roll him of, but these
tactics, of course, had no effect upon
the cowboy. Then, in spite Of all the
man could do the ostrich succeeded in
getting its head around and seizing the
rider by the calf Of one leg. Finally
the man, after much frantic kicking,
got his leg free. He then doubled his
feet under him. and the ostrich reach
ed over his wings and got a good, fast
hold on the mans back, throwing him
heavily to the ground and trampling
on him. It took three Of us to chase
the Infatuated ostrich away, and we
accomplished it barely in time to save
the mans life. That's why don't be-
lieve the native Australians can ride
ostriches."-New York Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

Encouraged by their success in the
recent campaign the prohibition
workers of Illinois are now predicting
that in five years, time there will not
be licensed saloon in the entire
state. AS Chicago is a considerable
portion of the state 1t will mean. if
these predictions are fulfilled. that
the date for the arrival of the mil
lennium is not far distant.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

tional league club. There are few
men who would not consent" to play
ball for season Of six months for
$4,000 and likewise are there mighty
few who would be offered such a
sum; and, likewise again, a good
many people will doubt that the SER
vices of any ball player are worth any
such sum.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-20

There has been satisfactory ter
mination Of the strike of the coal
miners in the central district. 1t is
to be hoped that the miners and op-
orators in the other districts will eze
feet a settlement of their differences
as quickly and happily