Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-07-17

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Above the grave Of notorious lazy
man in Southern churehyard are the
words: Asleep (as usual)."
Prospective Suitor-Sir, love your
daughter. Her Father-well, don't
some to me with your troubles.
Stella-Can you dress within your
incomes? Bella-Yes; but it is IKE
dressing within berth in sleeping
car.-Harper's Bazaar.
Mr.. volgarheim CATER the baIl)
See, Josephine, spoon; one of our
guests must have had hole in his
poeket-M eggendorfer Batter.
Now, don't deny 1t. Rose You wore
my shoes?' only onee-my feet hurt
me So. and l wanted something com
Portable. Meggensdorfer Batter
What do you expect to be when you
come of age, my little MANI asked the
visitor, 'Twenty-one," was the little
mans reply.-The Herald and Presby-
ter.
Barber-Try a bottle of this prepa-
ration, sir. Splendid thing for bald
ness, Customer Don't doubt 1t, but
I've got all the badness l want. thank
you.-Times.
Miss Lingerlong-You have been
widower for ten years, haven't you, Mr..
FlintP Mr.. Flint-Yes, and | am just
as persistent in It as ever was, thank
you = Smart Set.
Molly-When you spoke to father,
Gid you tell him you had $500 In the
bank? George Yes. Molly-And
what did he say? George-He borrow
Ell it.--Sketehy Bits.
Teacher-If your father owed the
butcher SIPS, the baker $l3.23, and
the grocer S1S05. how much would he
have to pay In all2 Tommy Harlumin
Nothin' He'd move.
Gould you bring yourself to live In
a fiat on $40 week." II could, Har-
DID," answered the pampered yet I'M
spoiled darling. But / do not know
just how 1t would suit my French
maid"
Il wouldn't cry like that IL were
YOU said lady to little Alice.
WELL" said Alice, between her sobs.
you can cry any way you like, but
this is my way. The United presby-
terian.
Mrs. Newlywed-I want to buy a
steak. Lumberman--Hickory, oak OF
ash2 Mrs NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.,
Lumberman You'll find that in the
butcher shop. This Is a lumber yard
Judge.
The Wife During our courtship ms
husband declared was too good foi
him The Friend-Does he think 81
still? The Wife-Yes, especially wher
| want him TO accompany me TO church
on Sundays
Have you decided, Miss Ethel
where you are going for the SUMMER
ITS between two places. Mr.. Johnson
which twoi" MIA says it's TO Swift
zerland and pa says it's to the poor
house. "--Tatler
Knicker- There are plenty OF books
telling how TO save life while waiting
for the doctor. Bocker--Yes. What
we need is one telling the young doctor
how to save life while waiting for the
patient. Transcript
What going to leave us SO SOON
ThomasY Sorry, sir; but must tel
| you as 'ow | can't put up with the
missus any longer" But, Thomas
(appeallnglyl, think how long I've put
up with her Judge.
"They tell me-" said the new report.
err, who was doing an interview. that
You have succeeded In forging your
way to the front" sir" replied the
self-made man. coldly. you have been
misinformed. I'm no forger."
Towne-Do you believe In dreams ?
| Browne used TO. but don't any
more. Towne Not as superstitious as
you were, eh? Browne-Oh, II wasn't
question Of superstition. | was In
love with one once. and she Tilted me.
MRS. jerks. II you were a kind lady
with five cents she didn't need. an l
was a little boy that didn't know any
better an asked her for 1t, do you think
she could maybe afford to lend II TO
him If | promised her faithfully that
he'd pay You back Exchange.
During the dinner hour on hoard "A
steamer the other day passenger was
much disturbed by the vulgar way I'm
which the man who sat next TO him ate
his meat At last, after watching him
pick bone In a very primitive fashion,
he could control his feelings no longer,
and, turning TO the offending party. he
said: Don't you think you would be
more comfortable II you took that out
on the mat Pitt. Bits.