The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-08-22
RAOruM, LOVE AND LEMONADE
BY BENJAMIN NICHOLSON.

BY BENJAMIN NICHOLSON.
"But that sight of money to ask
for SO small BOTTLE" protested Mr..
Ord "It's not picked up every day
on a farm"
Doctor" Kitro pushed his silk hat
back, frowned, gave the tips of his
long moustache an impatient twirl,
then demanded, whats forty dol
lars to a man in lover"
"It's quite bit of money" drawled
Mr.. Ord. "Still, if 1 was sure the
stuff would do all the wonderful things
you claim, I'd pay it without more
ado; for it's just as I said a bit ago,
I've got mighty good reasons to be-
lieve that it's my farm those girls are
in love with" He hesitated mo-
ment and then exclaimed: ''I'll give
you its weight in gold hundred
times over p
"That's not enough" declared the
doctor, mot near enough. "Why,
man alive, radium is the most expen-
sive thing that God ever made un-
less-well, unless it be woman"
Mr.. Ord was at loss to know what
to do. While still debating with him
self, a ringing shout arose from the
amphitheatre, announcing the last race
of the day was over. As the excited
ground he stood listening spell bound
to doctor" Kitro's account of the
discovery of radium. When the last
rafting wagon had dashed through
the exit and off down the dusty high
way, Mr.. Ord aroused himself and
asked, "How did you say could
tell?"
eff a woman's in love, radium will
make her pupils dilate," replied the
doctor.
"That being the case, I reckon you
had better give me bottle Of it but
I must say it's pretty stiff price
you're asking"
"But just think what you're get
ting In less than no time you will
know whether either of those girls is
in love with you."
IT hope so for 1 just can't hardly
sleep for thinking that maybe Miss
Kerr's right when she says that
neither of them cares Whit for me
that it's my dog goned money they're
in love with. But let me hear the
directions again. don't want to
make no mistake"
"Well, to begin with, we'll divide
it into three doses," said the doctor,
drawing two empty vials from his
pocket. "There you are. Now when
you come to the fair tomorrow ask
one of your girls to have some lemon
ade. Have bottle of radium ready,
and when she starts to drink, say,
kind of surprised like, Who is that
woman over there? 1 do believe she
smiled at me- When your girl turns
to look, empty the radium into her
glass. Then watch her pupils. If
they grow big and black, that girls
in love with you. But if they don't,
get away from her like you would
from pizen snake She'safter your
money"
"Just leave the getting away part
of it to me- interjected Ord. "I'll
marry no woman who doesn't love
me for myself"
''But if her pupils do expand, ="
continued the doctor, not needing the
interruption, land you want double
barreled proof, just ask her to read
something aloud, no matter what. If
she can't read, that settles it-she
loves you. But if she can read, look
twice before you jump. That girl
don't love you as much as she should. "
"I'll try them both ways !" ex-
claimed Ord, mopping the perspira-
ton from his face. "That 1 will. No
woman's going to bamboozle me-"
"That's right" affirmed the doc
tor, "you can't be too careful. Now,
since you have three doses of radium
and only two girls, if you want to
prove to yourself that it will do all
that l say, why not give the extra
dose to some woman who you know
loves you for yourself? Didn't you
say something about an old maid
who's just about crazy in love with
your"
eyes, she helps my aunt with the
work" "
"That's all right. What's to hin
der giving her the extra dose? Yor
see, by trying it on her, you can tel
| just about how it ought to act on the
girls"
"That's first-rate idea," declared
Ord, rubbing his hands together en-
Enthusiastically. He gave Doctor Kitrt
a grimace, meant TO be smile, shool
his hand heartily, and started home
ward. He was happy that is, a
happy as one who has long fed upol
suspicion ever is. He told himself
] as his buggy rolled noiselessly alonl