The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-12-27

Say, next time see signs of an
other bank panic comm on. I'm goin'
10 lease the thirty-ninth floor of the
Singer buildin', move the physical Gull
ture studio down there. and prepare to
save the country at hundred per cent
advance on usual rates. Phew. I'm
getting rested up a little now. but for
two or three weeks there, while our old
friend Pierp. was dealin' out the sOoth-
in syrup with one hand and shakin'
things down with the other, was work
in overtime.
How was that? Why. it's like this:
The Bickernocker Bust company has a
directors Ineetin' that lasts until a
m. and after they've got through ac-
cusin' each other, and laid the whole
blame on the janitcr, F1d voted that he
ought to be sent up for life, there's
lot Of nice. portly, fur-lined old gents
that looks as If they'd been dom duty
on the poison squad. Besides dancin'
the slack wire all night, they've been
EtolIin' on black coffee and Carolina
perfectos. and 1t naturally leaves EN-
I'm bad shape Some goes to their spe-
cialists. others tries a Russian steam.
and the rest of 'em pixies for Shorty
McCabe's.
And, say. they're apt to be a peevish
lot about then. Why, once 1 had
dozen here at a time, and no one of EN-
would speak To more'n three of the
others. Seems there'd been a wholesale
roundup of directors the night before,
Two or three presidents had resigned
by request, and there'd been lot OF
talk about John Doe -proceedin's
You. sir" says one, glarin' at an
other. would hypothecate your i'm
mortal soul. if you had a chance!'
Perhaps. sir" says the other, but
IL would be my own soul, and can
name persons who
"Ah. ring OFF, says I. This amt
the grand jury room. Cut all that out
and get busy peelin' off for a game OF
sock balli'
Ever watch that kind of sport? It's
a little warmth up stunt we used to
practice in trainin quarters. 1 gives
'en each a number and throws a basheI
bali into the middle Of the gym floor.
Then when I calls out mo. ~ the gent
who answers TO that has to grab the
ball and try TO soak some one with it.
II he misses. he scrabbles after it and
has another try. The Teller he hits IS II
Lively, Say inside of three minutes
I has that whole grouchy bunch hop
pin and dodgin' around. laughin' and
puffiA', gettin' behind each other. rOllin'
on the floor, and enJoyin' themselves
like I0-year-olds. ugh" grunrs old
Fatwad, as the ball takes him in the
middle OF his meat safe. Bang, goes
Mr.. Tenpercent, maxim a sharp turn
and losin' his balance
Shake ii up there" says I. Keep
the ball movin'! Slam him, nowl Slam
him. old Sidewhiskers,"
Say. don't stop to ask who they are
down on Broad-st.. or how much call
money they-ca put on the market, or
whether they've busted a bank or q
banks busted them. When ] sizes EN-
up here in the studio it's only by the
baggy eyes and the extra weight around
the belt line. To me they're just so
many specimens of high Twin and hard
wOrryin', and l puts each one through
the course of sprouts that 1 think will
DO him the most good.
But the toughest proposition I had TO
tackle was my old reglar Pyramid Cor
don. Maybe you've been keepin' post
ed on some of the stunts he's been doin'
lately That's mOre'n / have. I've been
too busy with other things to follow a