The sun., 1908-06-21
Mr.. GNAGG WOULD GO FISHING
BUT FINDS EVERYTHING UPSET
FOR MIN AT HOME.
n Mrs. Gnass Purposes to Have the House
in Disorder ana VIII Introduce Him 70
People VINO Bortew HIS FISHING Tackie.
what's tho Use OF TRYING, Anyway


People VINO borrow His Fishing Tackle.
what's tho Use OF Trying, Anyway 2
Mr. Gnass. unexpectedly arriving home
In nidafterpoon and finding the apartment
somewhat In disarray owing to sewing op-
erations. expresses himself IN part as follows:
Say, what's been coming Off here. any
howp A Black Hand explosionp 1t looks
like 1t. That or the aftermath Of pool
room raid What's It all about2 Do you
proceed 10 yank the plant 20 smithereens
a. soon az get around the corner Ia the
morning. solely because you enjoy living
In confusion and disorder and ,dirt7 Dye
expect me to make myself comfortable hcre
with things kicking around the way they
are2 Well. I wasn't brought up that way,
II .other folks were. I'll tell you that. II
you think l can squat down and feel con-
tented in q kennel you've 20 O whole lot OF
thinks that are overdue. I'D like TO know
what for I'm breaking my neck to pay
S85 month fat rent II this is the kind OF
dog hutch you expect me 10 live In. I'll
bet there's not Cherry Hill tenement
house that could show o set OF rooms look
ing like
Huh? You didn't know was coming
home 30 early7 Well. what's the difference
whether you knew It or not7 Shall be
compelled to take IL for granted that you
do positively enjoy living in such. a state Of
absolute msasiness2 / suppose you'll
be saying next that I'm not entitled 10 como
home TO my place at any hour feel
like 1t, eh? guess I can come home when
feel like Il and not be bullled all over the
place for doing Il.
What's that? The apartment very rarely
looks like this. and wouldn't now only that
you're doing some summer sewingf Oh.
you might as well tell that toithe marines.
all the time that I'm out Of 1t, only you
don't often get caught at It. When you
figure that I'm about due home from the
office you sort Of turn a handspring or
two and give more or less tired imitation
Of putting things to rights; but this Is the
way you live when I'm not here because
you like it. There's no other conclusion
to be reaohed-you must like 1t.
What's this stuff all over the hoor2 It
looks like as il fock OF buzzards had been
moulting In here. Oh, soissorings from the
dress you're making over, bey' Oh. Of
course you'll get that in-the dress that
you're making over" I suppose you
mean that for wallop. You stick that
in to try to make me believe that you have to
make your clothes over and over. l sup
pose you've never had one single, solitary
new dress since we've been married, have
you? Well. you just said pretty near as
much. guess I've got ears. Nothing In
life tickles you 30 much as exuding these
cracks that you think make me feel cheap.
But they don't. Nobody forces you to
make any clothes over. You know that.
All you've got to do IL you want and need
O new dress Is to put up howl for 1t, and
you'll get it, IL can beg. borrow or steal
the coin for you to get 1t with.
| How about the eatsi Huh2 You didn't
expect me home 30 soon2 It seems to me
I've heard you say that ten or fifteen times
before in the last three minutes. But guess
! can get something TO eat anyhow, even
II you say you didn't expect me? Huh?
It's the maids afternoon outf Oh, OF course
it is! You saw to that all right. It's bound
10 be the maids afternoon of when haven't
had any lunch and when come home
starved to death-sure suppose you
didn't have hunoh that I'd be home early,
eh. and that therefore you sent the maid
a-kiting 10 visit her folks over in Hoboken.
Well, 1t looks mighty queer to me. that's
all I've got to say.
However. perhaps you won't regard me
with loathing and look upon me as a ruffian
and brute il | respectfully inquire II
you--you yourself, you know-couldn't
sort o. shake together a little something
for me to eat. [ wouldn't have you put
yourself to any trouble on my account for
a new gold watch and chain, though No,
indeed. Nix on that All you've got to do
is to telephone 'em to send you around q
can Of sardines and some crackers and 1
can get along all right. You might ask 'em
to, send around q nickel's worth OF cheese
too. can get along on any old thing.
wouldn't expect you to rassle around and
fix me up little meal of human viotuals,
because know how tired you are. Any
how, you are too busy making over your old
duds, because your tight wad Of husband
won't ever buy you any new togs That's
your view OF the game-didn't you almost
say 30 in that many words2-and 80 what's
the use'
How do haprSn to be home 80 early1
That's 1t, go ahead and cross-examIne me.
Maybe you'd like to have me submit draw
ings and blue prints Of the reason why I
am home at this hour. However, since
you don't seem to intend to move from
your chair and give me something to eat
without being told everything at length
and In detail, beg to inform you that I'm
going on little fishing trip with some
friends OF mine. We're going down to
Canarsie Bay. ! suppose you have no
objeotions1 Or have I another suppose
a-coming'
Who's in the party9 oh, you want TO
know all about It, don't your Well, there's
Jim Giddap and Frank Hippip and Joe
Stepalong and Al Gitaotion Now go
ahead and oensorize the list. Go right
ahead. Call em all names. That's the
way you generally do when happen 70
mention any Of my friends names under
your cross-examinatlon. Hows that' You
haven't said word about thems Oh, no,
maybe you haven't said anything, but
guess maybe can't dope out what you're
thinking. You're saying to yourself that
they're a bunch of rummies and poker
players and that I ought TO be ashamed
to mingle with such q gang, and all that.
But viii not have my friends knocked
In this manner, and you might as well
understand that frat aa last II I han