davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
CHRISTMAS EVE.

Tonight Is all the year to me,
When, out or all the ripened DAYS.
sorrow Is sifted Beauty STAYS,
Inc Wlnnowed grain of Memory
Here all the months their emblems strew
For April, there is Youths delight:
tor May, there are these blossoms bright
OF all Springs loye-:ime, there is You.
The 1ule-tide fame snaps blthe below:
Bright holly berries burn above;
And Fancy builds a dream thereof
dream of Summer-'mid the snow.
For Autumn, there is harvest hoard
Or all the toiling worlds good will;
For Winter there's the wondrous thrill
Ot laughter round the laden board
Methinks tonight, nv happy heart
Rides, like the Wise Men. from afar.
Bask through the ages, with a star
For certain guide and errless chart;
Back through the ages. unto Them
Who in The lowly manger lay.
Where stOlid kline soft watched by day
Above the Babe of Bethlehem.
And all the kope-the joy-that He
Gave to all Christmas-tideS of Time
Lifts here a pinnacle sublime.
Tonight is all of Life to me!
Chester Firkins. in the Atlantic
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
A New Sort of School.

The proprietor of an institution pro
Tossing to cure suffering tells of the
amazement with which visitor from
the interior Of the state contemplated
the huge gilt sign displayed over the en-
trance to the place:
STAAiMERING INSTITUTE TRIAL LES
SON FREE.
"Upon my soul" exclaimed the rural
Pennsylvania, '''if that don't beat ALL /
knew they taught most everything these
days; but who the deuce wants to learn
stammerin' T'-Lippincott's.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18

The increased use of whiskey for lama
back rheumatism is causing considera.
Bile discussion among the medical fra.
ternity 1t is an almost infallible cure
when mixed with certain other ingre.
dents and taken properly. The fol-
lowing formula is effective: ITO one
half pint of good>whiskey add one ounce
of Toris Compound and one ounce
Syrup Sarsaparilla Compound. Take
in tablespoonful doses before each meal
and before retiring"
Toris compound is product of the
laboratories of the Globe Pharmaceuti,
cal Co., Chicago, but 1t as well as the
other ingredients can be had from any
good druggist
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
Deafness Cannot be Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach
the diseased portion Of the ear. There is
only one way to cure deafness, and that Is
by constitutional remedies. Deafness Is
caused by an lnfamed condition of the mu-
cous lining Of the Eustaehian Tube When
this tube Is ndamed you have a rumbllnR
sound or imperfect hearing and when 1t is
entirely closed. Deafness IS the result, and
unless the Inflammation can be taken out
and tbs tube restored to Its normal condl-
tion nearing will be destroyed forever nine
cases out Of ten are caused by Catarrh,
which is nothing but an inhamed condition
of the mucous surfaces.
We viii give One Hundred Dollars for any
case Of Deafness (caused by Catarrh) that
cannot be cured by Halls Catarrh Cure,
Send for circulars free.
f. J. CHENEY C CO, Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family pills for constipation.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
Second Verse.

Ding, dong Ding, dong.
Sweet and soft, over the frozen wild
1oated the sound of distant bells.
The highwayman lowered his weapon
slowly.
4" lis Christmas eve" he murmured,
in dazed voice.
lis Christmas eve" the traveller
repeated,
And suddenly the faces of the two
men were transfgured with mild and
lovely light. The spirit of Christmas
rushed like a warm and perfumed wind
into their breasts. Their eyes filled with
tears, and they locked hands.
Who are your" said the highwayman.
THE Rev. Jeremiah Briggs" was the
low reply.
And l" cried the other hoarsely, "am
Harry Briggs. Daredevil Harry Briggs,
your long-lost brother"
Hand-in-hand, with upturned, tear
stained faces, the two men burst into a
Christmas carol in time with the Ginning
of the far off bells.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
Fear Of tine Lord.

A group Of aeronauts were telling bal
loon stories in the smoking room Of a
Chicago hotel. Capt ii. r. Honeywell
who with the "F'ieldiug-Antonio" bal
loon was later 10 break all long distance
speed records, laughed and said:
The great Elypt made a balloon AS
cent from Charleston one hot sum.
mer afternoon. A thunderstorm came
up. Elyot, amid buckets Of rain. the
roar Of thunder. and the flash Of light
ming. was blown about ike n thistle
down On toward midnight he found
himself over a plantation aud threw out
long rope.
at happ'1ed that q negro had died II
one of the auts' Of this plantation. TIL,
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
A CHRISTMAS CAROL.
First Verse.


Your money or your life!'
The words rang cut sharp and clear,
and at the same moment. pistol in hand,
cloaked and masked figure stepped
from the ambush of a tree.
The lone wayfarer east one distracted
glance about him. On all sides spread
Il snow-covered waste, desolate in the
cold moonshine. No hint of hope was
there, and with a groan he yielded
himself to the inevitable.
DO with me as you will" he said.
But the highwayman, thrice searching
the POCKETS OF his victim, found nothing
but few copper coins. The effect of
this disappointment on the man was
terrible.
Curse you" he shouted, you shall die
for this
And he leveled his pistol at the others
breast.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
Kaiser fnventa Auto Brake

The Kaiser's latest occupation for
leisure moments is the devising of eff-
Gent braking apparatus, and in this at
tempt it is stated he has added to the
already long list of mechanical contriv-
ances on the market. Not only has he
invented an axle brake which has many
merits, but, like the practical man he
has proved himself to be, is considering
mobilists the benefit of his device and of
placing this for a consideration at their
disposal. Germany has, next to France.
the largest export of cars, sending
abroad sixty-five millions and a half to
Fngland's twenty-eight. - The Ladies'
Pictorial
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
An Adventure.

Two ladies, friends of the superintend-
ent, were visiting the hospital for. the in
sane at Warm springs. During the
noon meal the superintendent remarked
that the door of tie violent ward was be-
ing repaired and that the guards would
have to be unusually watchful until it
was finished After dinner the ladies
went for a stroll down the beautiful lane
leading up to the main building. Sud
denly they heard footsteps as of some
one running behind them, and were hOr-
rified, on looking around, to see a dis
heyeied, wild-eyed man pursuing them.
One of the women quietly stepped to the
side of the road; the other, screaming at
the top of her voice, ran down the road
with the manaic close upon her heels.
Az last, spent with running and gasping
with fright, crouching in anticipation of
ttfn blow which she was expecting, she
waited her fate. The man, painting and
grinning, tapped her lightly on the
shoulder and said:
Gag! You're it."-Boh milan Maya
zine.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
Out of Order.

Champ Clark loves to tell of how in
the heat of a debate Congressman John
son of Indiana called an Illinois repre-
sentative jackass. The expression was
supplementary, and in retraction John
son said:
While | withdraw the unfortunate
word, Mr.. Speaker, | must insist that the
gentleman from Illinois is ont of order"
How am l out of orderY' yelled the
man from Illinois.
Probably a veterinary surgeon could
tell you" answered Johnson, and that
was parliamentary enough to stay on
the record.-Success Magazine.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
A Gladstone Bull.

Mr.. Gladstone was once guilty of an
amusing bull in a debate on the question
Of disestablishment. Dilating on the hold
held on the affections of the people by
an Englishman wants to get married, 10
whom does he go? To the parish priest.
When he wants his child baptized, to
whom does he go? To the parish priest.
When he wants to get buried, to whom
does he go?' The House answered with
roar of laughter. in which Mr.. Glad
stone himself Joined, adding: LAS | was
contrasting the English church with the
Irish, a bull is perhaps excusable Lon
don Globe.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18

a southern congressman recently went
into a barber shop in a small Tennessee
town to get a haircut. The barber, after
the usual flow of conversation, completed
the job. ard, turning to his customer,
asked:
Tennessee or Georgian
question, but determined not to show his
ignorance, the congressman replied:
Georgia"
The barber then proceeded to brush his
hair "dry."-Bohemian
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
The Cars Crowns.

fashionable lady has hats lie IL re-
gardcd by the people as "a religious as
well as secular monarch, and therefore
has crowns for every possible state oc-
casion The Russian imperial crown is
modelled after patriarchaI inter. Five
magnificent diamonds. resting on a
huge glowing ruby form the cross at
the summit. Diamonds and pearls of
utmost perfection render this crown I'M
rivalled among all others. and there is
one sapphire in it which is said TO be
the finest stone of its kind ever mined
Chicago Journal
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18

funeral was to take place in the morn
ing. dozen friends Of the dead man
sat in the soft summer night before the
hut telling ghost stories
Suddenly, in the darkness above
them they heard strange nois"s-a flap
ping, as Of great wings. meuacing cries.
And they saw dimly "a formless black
shape.
IAN but one man ran. This one man,
luck to be seized bv the grapneL
The Grapne going Mt a great pace,
whitfield him ny for four or five feet in
the air md jerkel him along at the rate
Of fifteen miles or so an hour.
" oh. masea, maSsa' he yelled.
squirmng and kicking in that siTnnge
flight. Use not de one, Use not de
cawpee! Dicks in de house dab, IN de
house Washington STAR.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
Third Verse.

The divine slept, wrapped in his broth
er's cloak.
On the snow beside him, keeping
watch, Daredevil Harry sat and chantea
carols.
And all the air was mellow with the
sound of bells.
The spirit of Christmas" cried the
repentant cutpurse, "sings in my heart.
Oh, how l wish that l could make some
tremendous sacrifice in honor of the
blessed season.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
Post Cards for Sale.

We have series OF sixteen post cards
which we offer for sale for Is cents in
stamps-S cards illustrating views In
the Washington Park zoo and the bal
ance taken of animals in the Ringing
Brothers menagerie. This is a very in
teresting lot of cards. If you do not
wish the entire series, send 3 cents in
stamps for samples. THE EVENING
WISCONSIN CO. Milwaukee, Wis.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
Not in His Experience.

The teacher of geography class had
just finished explaining how the English
country.
THE sparrows ote up the worms, all
right, but now we have the sparrows on
our hands. Which would you rather
have, Max, the sparrows or the worms r
II don't know; / amt never had spar
rows. "-Bohemian.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18

In Pennsylvania alone there are
about 100 fire bosses and assistant fire
bosses receiving salaries ranging from
S75 to 500 per month; 300 mine fore
men and assistant mine foremen@ who re-
ceive from 500 to $125 per month.
There are also forty inspectors. each re-
ceiving a salary of $4,000 per year.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18

Crime is increasing rapidly in New
York city. There were more complaints
more indictments. more charges preferred
and more cases tried during the last half
year than IL any six months in the his
tory Of the city, and the increase has
been in much larger proportion than the
increase in population. which is esti-
mated at COCO.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
A Little Previous.

A gypsy, upon release from jail. met a
friend.
"What were you in for?" asked the
friend.
81 found a horse"
Found q horse? Nonsense! They
wouldn't jug you for finding a horse"
"Well but you see | found him before
the owner lost him. Everybody Maya
zine.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18

New Zealand is described by its in
habitants as ''the happiest country in
the world" 1t IS now dominion. Some
of the pretty names given it by New
Zealanders are 1.-THE Fortunate Isles"
''rhe Wonderland of the Pacific" IAN
Lands in One" and "The Star of the
South"
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
Gossip of the Nurserv

Ethel-Why don't you bring your dol
lie to my house some day to play with
my dollie?
Eva-I wouldn't dare! Your dollie,
understand, has had a past-Yonkers
Statesman.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18

Christmas spirit has never vanished from
the earth since the time when they an
noupeed the birth of the Holy Child
Helen A. Hawley in St. Nicholas.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18

MRS. wINSLows SOOTHING SYRUP for
Children teething; softens the gums, reduces in.
nammation. allays pain, cures wind collie. 25
cents a bottle.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18
orIy One "BRomo aUININE"

That Is LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE. Look
for the signature Of Z. W GROVE. Used the
world over to Cure a Cold in One Day. &c.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18

PILES CURED IN TO Ia DAYS
PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any
case of Itching. Blind, Bleeding or Protrud-
ing Piles In to ii days or money refunded
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18

WE SELL GUNS AND TRAPS CHEAP
and buy I'urs and Hides. Write for cata-
locuc lO5 \. w. Hide IS Fur o.. MIuue-
apus MINI
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-18

American dentists in the leading
cities of Europe have a larger profession
al income than their colleagues who
practice in the United States.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11
SMALL THING HE FORGOT,
May Have Accounted for His Proposal
Being Turned Down.

Senator Beveridge described at q
dinner, an absent-minded farmer
The man was so absent-minded >"
he said, that he couldn't open his
mouth without making an arrant ass
Of himself
"Once he courted a young woman
His suit looked promising for time
Then. with sorrowful visage, he
ceased his courtship.
Yet she seemed infatuated with
you, Jabez, said |, one day when he
came to me for sympathy
:" She were, too,' Jabez agreed.
well, what could have been tho
trouble?'
"'Dunno.' said he. He filled his
pipe. Dunno; but when l perposed,
she turned me down cold
Perhaps your proposal wasn't ard
ent enough? l suggested.
"'Oh, it was fiery said Jabez. Hot
as pepper. l told her she was the
only woman Id ever loved, ever
looked at, ever thought of, or
but. said l, you forgot, then, you
were a widower.
"'Jingo.' said Jabez. SO I did,"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11

Sheer white goods. in fact. any fine
wash goods when new. owe much Of
their attractiveness to the way they
are laundered, this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory if proper attention was
given to starching. the first essential
being good Starch. which has sufficient
strength to stiffen, without thickening
the goods Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance of your work.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11
Hurt a Convict's Pride.

A church missionary had letter
recently from convict begging him
to reform the writer's wife, who was
also in prison.
The convict-who is serving a long
term-waS very anxious about the
matter, because. as he said: 1T was
no credit to him to receive letters
from such a place as prison
Another convict, in the course OF
letter to his brother. a pauper, re-
marked: well, Jack, thank goodness
l have never sunk so low as the work
house yet"-London Daily News.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11
Case Of Shocking Neglect.

Friend-What has become Of Celes'
tine, your maid?
Mrs Snoblotts-I had to discharge
her. She had no consideration for
Ffdo
Friend-Why. l always thought she
took the most tender care of the pet.
Mrs. Snoblotts-So did l till found
she was using her own comb on him
without first sterliZing 1t.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11

disordered and my head ached to dis
traction. was in bad condition, but
medicines failed to help. lost ground
daily until began with Doan's Kidney
Pills. They helped me at once and
soon made me strong and WE'LL
Sold by all dealers. SO cents box
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11

That an article may be good as we'll
as cheap, and give entire satisfaction,
is proven by the extraordinary sale of
Defiance Starch. each package con-
tanning one-third more Starch than
cah be had of any other brand for the
same money.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11
Dust and Gasoline,

II had to sell my auto, but l haven't
missed it as yet"
"Hows that"
you can get most Of the sensa
tlons by cleaning rugs"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11
Sounds Dubious.

Citizen (proudly)-This is ci
without graft.
Visitor iringly)-Horest?
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11

Mrs. Frank Stroebe, r. F. D. l, Apple
ton, Wis, writes: 81 began using Peru.
na few months ago, when my health
and strength were all gone, and 1 was
nothing but q nervous wreck, could
not sleep, eat or rest properly, and felt
no desire to live. Peruna made me look
at life in q different light, as l began to
regain my lost strength.
81 certainly think Peruna is without
. rival US u tonic and strength builder. "
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11
The Word Of Excuse,

Ascum-I've often wondered what
diplomat really means when he speaks
of eXpcdiency.
Wise-Usually 1t means that his d.
plomacy has failed.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11

seemed a helpless in
valid, but now l en-
joy the best of health.
X / d ey diseas e
brought me down ter
ribly. r h e u m attic
aches and pains made
every move painful.
The secretionS were
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11
Try Murine Eve Remedy

For Red. Weak, Weary, Watery Eyes.
Murine Doesn't Smart-Soothes Eye Pain.
All Druggists Sell Murine at Scots. The 4S
Page Book in each Pkg. is worth Dollars
in every home. Ask your Druggist.
Murine Eye Remedy Co., Chicago.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11

No man on earth is rich enough to
enjoy paying taxes.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11

II you wish to reach the highest
begin at the lowest.-From the jap
anese.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11

Success often depends upon utliis-
Ing the mistakes of others.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11
Mrs. MInslow.a soothin

Mrs. Windows Soothing syrup.
For children teethng softens the gums reduces IN
ANIMATION says palm, cures wind collie 25c . bottle
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11
HEALTH BRINGS HAPPINESS.
Invalid Once, a Happy Woman Now.

Mrs. C. r. Shelton, Pleasant Street,
Covington, Tenn, says: Once l
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-07-11

laws to secure greater effectiveness
in the prosecution Of criminal monopo-
lies"
I'VE did not add single line to the
interstate commerce law, giving the
federal government supervision over
the issues of stocks and bonds by in
terstate carriers"
eve did not exact a currency meas
ure that would mitigate the evils of
financial panic such as has recently
prostratee she country under Repub-
lican administration"
I'VE did not limit the opportunities
for abusing the writ OF injunction"
I'VE did not establish postal savings
banks"
I'VE did not establish bureau of
mines and mining"
I'VE did not admit into the union
the territories of New Mexico and
Arizona as separate states"
Criticism Of Congress.
The last congress was in session
during a financial crisis, when in
Vulnerable banking institutions, prefer
ring a holiday to a funeral, closed
their doors and filled the minds of the
millions of depositors with anxiety
land fear. The sentiment in favor of
postal savings banks, which had been
steadily growing in this country, be-
came almost universal during the re-
cent panic. So insistent became the
voice of the people that the president
sent special message to congress
urging the establishment of postal
savings banks where the earnings of
our people might be safely deposited
under the direct control and RESPONSE
biilty of the federal governnsa7-. and
where no peculating bank cashier or
any member of the board Of directors
could eat up the savings Of years.
The United States senate showed its
Smyrna times., 1908-12-02
A Modest Request.

The young man and the girl wore
standing outside the front door. having
a final chat after his evening call. He
was leaning against the dOOrpost. talk
ing in low tones. Presently the young
lady looked round to discover her IA
ther in the doorway clad in dressing
gown.
"Why. father. what in the world is
the matter?' she inquired.
John" said the father. addressing
himself to the young man. you know
I have never complained about your
staying late. and | am not going to
complain of that now. But for good
ness sake stop leaning against the bel
push and let the rest of the family ge'
some sleep"
Smyrna times., 1908-12-02
Marked For Death

"Three years ago l was marked
for death. A graveyard cough was
tearing my lungs to pieces. Doctors
failed to help me and hope had fled,
when my husband got DR.. Kings New
Discovery" says Mrs. A. c. Will
liams, of Bac, KY. "The first dose
helped me and improvement kept on
until l had gained So pounds In
weight and my health was fully re-
stored" " This medicine holds the
worlds healing record for coughs and
colds and lung and throat diseases
1t prevents pneumonia. Sold under
guarantee at Benton N. Weldon''
drug store. SOC and S1.nO. Tria
bottle free.
Smyrna times., 1908-12-02
Medicine That is Medicine

81 have suffered a good deal with
malaria and stomach complaints,
but l have now found a remedy that
keeps me we'll, and that remedy is
Electric Bitters: a medicine that is
medicine for stomach and liver
troubles, and for run down con-
ditions, says W. C. Kiestler, of
Halliday, Ark. Electric Bitters
purify aud enrich the blood, tone up
the nerves, and impart vigOr and en-
ergy to the weak. Your money will
be refunded if it fails to help you.
SOC at Benton N. Weldon's drug
store.
Smyrna times., 1908-12-02
HjahIy Practical.

Your business college for young la
dies seems to he all right"
1T is all right"
do you give the girls a good practi-
cal business training?'
"In reply to that question can only
say that 80 per cent of our graduates
marry their employers the first year. 3"
louisville COurier-JOurnal.
Smyrna times., 1908-12-02

Foleys Orino Laxative cures
chronic constipation and stimulates
the liver. Orino regulates the
bowels so they will-act naturally and
you do not have to take purgatives
continuously. Sold by W. r. Keys
& Co., Clayton, Del. all druggists
in Smyrna.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-04-18
An End Miesino.

An Iriehman who served on board
a man-of-war was selected by one Of
the oficers to haul in a towline OF con-
siderable length that was towing over
the taffrail. After pulling in 40 or so
fathoms. which had put his patience
severely to proof. as well as every
muscle Of his arms. he muttered to
himself:
Surely it's as long as to-day and to-
morrow. It's good weeks work for
any FIVE in the ship. Bad luck to the
leg or the arm it'll leave at last What,
more Of 1t yet? Och, murder. The
says mighty deep. to be sure,"
After continuing in a similar strain
and conceiving there was little prob
ability Of the completion of his labor.
he suddenly stopped short, and. ad-
dressing the officer of the watch, ex-
claimed: Bad manners to me. sir. il
don't think somebody's cut on the
other end of it!"-The Pathfinder.