davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

list, but no explanations were asked
Tor or volunteered. Anything of the
sort would have been taken for false.
hoods.
Watch your wife" and Watch
your husband" were watchwords ever
before them. Separation, at least,
must have been the ultimate result
nad not the jokers finally decided to
snow their hands. One morning N
the young husband reached his desk
another letter in a certain chirography
awaited him. His heart gave a Jump.
In this he would be told something
specific. He dreaded to open 1t, and
yet he thfrsted for the solution
After q hesitation lasting flve min.
utes the envelope was torn away. The
next moment a bareheaded man, hold
Ing sheet of note paper in his hand.
was running down the street. A block
from home he encountered a woman,
also on the run. and also holding an
open letter in her hand.
Kitty. my darling!"
Oh, my dear Harryi"
Il Just got this by mall"
And I just got this"
And when they recalled that every
woman in the block was watching
them they compared notes. He read:
- that she Is using Aliens hair
tonic on her hair"
And hers:
- that your Harry is getting .
bald spot on top of his head!"
And then the doves came back and
cooed and never flew the coop any
more. -(Copyrighted. 1908. by Assoc
ciated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11
LAYHAWKER JOTS

If there's anything in a name the
Rev. j. B. Wakem. a Sedan pastor,
ought not to have any trouble with
sleepers In his congregation.
The Oberlin Eye celebrated its
twenty-fifth birthday last week and
Columbus Borin has guided the des-
TIMES of the paper for only one year
less than that time.
The Wichita Eagle thinks Billy
Morgan may soon decide that he
wasted lot of time during the recent
primary campaign. Tut tut. Look at
the experience he secured.
Another Leavenworth Post pun:
Henry Knipe, the transfer and feed
man, is a square man as any
with any violater of the law. but we
learn he has more than once fur
nfshed a bale Of straw.
Some say that the little showers do
not do much good. We know they
do not soak up the ground for plow-
ing like one of those trash movers, or
gosling drowners, but they beat a hot
wind several hundred per cent when
1t comes to letting the corn make a
crop when ii Is in the roasting ear.
We are going to have good corn
crop. The fact is we need big one.
This 10 cent corn is no joke if you
have to buy it.-Rural Routes, in
Belle PLANE News
The first Indian wedding that has
occurred here for some time took
place at Probate Judge Alleman's Of
flee "Wednesday. Miss Cora L. Jour
neycake, an Indian girl from Nowata.
Okla, was united in marriage to Will
liam E. Brown of Chanute. Miss
Journeycake is a descendent of the
famous Chief Journeycake. who, in
the early sos, took a commission
from the government to try some
agricultural experiments among the
Indians along the Marais des Cygnes
river. Cottages replaced the tepees
and other requirements Of civilization
were introduced but the Indians soon
returned to their tepees and used the
cottages for stables. Chief Journey
cake gave up the task and it was not
tried again.-Erie Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11
HUAOR or THE Day

All Signs Fail.-.~You seem to need
rain very badly" YES" answered
Farmer Corntossel In a tone of patient
RESIGNATION T, We've done our best. but
one Sunday school picnic after another.
left the rockin' chairs an hammocks
an buggies out over night an painted
all the buildings fresh. But none of
seem to work any more."-Washington
Star.
49,, Il thought you and your wife were Nv,
are happy ali right She says she can get
along with me. but ever since we've been
married the troubles been that she can't
Press Pr a.'s VII" MY sAa'' -0' f'
Wife-Ive invited one of my old beaus
Heavens. moi I always love to associate
with lucky people.-Life.
What would you do, dear, II I were to
der asked Mrs. barley, fondly. IT don't
know replied barley thoughtfully.
Elsa-The paper says that the bride was
ten un in ADVANCE Of the %eddin9 but i
was good guess; the bridegroom failed
to show up.-Puck.
This win be a memorable trial" de-
clared the New York lawyer. II certain
have gotten t1Essta her. competent
see the district attorney and submit our
dialogue and scenario. Sketch.
Next to having a good complexion
woman would like to have a good
Observation-Disclosures News
Brigas-You say business is looking up7
any other A way: it's fiat on its bsck.-E ES
change.
Financier-So you're thinking Of paint
ing pictures? If you take my advice. you'll
paint like Reynolds. There's money in IL.
Punch. "a 80
'And what has the Colonel done since
local option came mr. Met it vaiiantly
Claims now to be a good judge Of ginger
on my knee I besssa her r,t for kis s.,
up and be practical" Courier
Journal.
"Of course you play bridge only for
fun?" 'Of course" answered Mrs. Span
gleton. But it isn't any fun unless you
are paying for r.oney"-WashingtonS Star.
"Of course you could dress my daugh-
| ter as she is accustomed to be dressed.
said the old man, with covert sheer "Of
one. but 1 wouldn't. She'll agree to cut
| out the cartwheel hat or the deal stops
right here."-Philadelphia Ledger.
TN your opinion" asked the member
of the Investigating committee. what 10
the cause Of the evident unrest among
the Indians?" Comanche Pete. the noted
scout. blew q cloud of smoke into the at
mosphere. Then he took his pipe out of
his mouth. "Fleas." he answered.-Chi-
cago Tribune.
waiter-we have CLANS in every style.
sir Diner-Then bring me a dozen in
sheath gowns and Charlotte Corday hats.
Boston Transcript.
Fond Mother Ito overgrown Gladys)-
That dress, though last years, must do
you. child. Gladys-Yes, mamma The
dress is last years, but the legs are this
year sf-Iife.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11
QUAKER MEDTTATONs.
[From the Philadelphia Record

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
Even the grass widow has her hey
day.
Even when a man prefers a dark
cigar he wants 1t light at one end.
An appropriate dance for an auto
mobile ball would be breakdown.
About the easiest thing in the world
for some people to make is a break.
The man who is making history is
merely encouraging the book agents
One speech will often make q states
man, but the statesman must first
make the speech.
Mrs Muggins-"It's the strangest
thing. My cat likes beer" Mrs. Bug
gins-"Maybe it's a maltese"
II II were possible for US to have
everything we wish for we should
probably begin to wish all over again.
Borrowell-"My right hand itches.
That's a sign l am going to get money,
isn't it?" Wigwag-"Not from me-"
SILENCE is golden" quoted the Wise
Guy. ''Oh, I don't know" said the
Simple Mug. Sometimes II 10 merely
guilt"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

inquirers. Is as delicious dish as seal
lops.
1t is good to know that the octopus
is valuable article of food. The fact
seems heretofore to have been overlook
ed. An open season for hunting the
animal. 1t would appear. has for some
time been established, but the hunt
ing has not been done in the right
way and with the right motive. These
things are good to eat The provident
householder could lay in and salt down
winters supply of them. and have
effective means of beating the beef oc-
topus-that Is to say. the beef trust.
And so with the others. All that is
necessary to get rid of them is to pro-
perry prepare them for eating. Here
is an economic note which should not
escape the notice of the regulators of
the universe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

State Senator w. S. Fitspatrick's
leadership of that remarkable organ
ization of Kansas legislators which
has gone down in history as the "sen-
ate lodge does not seem to have
placed him in bad light with the cor
porations. He has just been named as
general attorney for the Prairie Oil
company. AS a matter of fact 1t is
probable that Mr.. Fitzpatrick's activi-
tiles as the leader of the senate lodge"
did as much as anything else to land
him a job that carries such a nice fat
stipend with 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe

There Is no saddle so handsome it
makes a mule look all right as a rid
ing animal.
You can sometimes sell prospects,
but you always have to discount them
a good deal.
The way to succeed can be boiled
down TO one rule: make a speciality OF
your business.
A woman Harvesting a horse acts
as awkward as a man putting on a
babys clothes.
1t Is possible to be a perfect lady
and eat corn off the cob, but it Is i'm
possible to look it.
Ask a baby what its name Is, and
it's mother will wipe It's nose, and say:
Tell the gentlemani"
A girls natural instinct is to run
away from everything she sees, and a
boys is to throw at it.
No man ever made a fuss about his
wife's dry goods bill that she did not
say she was positively ragged.
You can make a bet that the chill
dren are spoiled. and win, If the moth
er says they are sensitive"
1t is polite to say that a boy "teases''
his sister, but, as a matter OF fact
what he does is downright devilish-
ness.
1t will always be possible to make
living without work as long as per-
sons can be found who believe in
palmistry.
What has become of the old fash ion-
ed man who said: 1T would require a
Philadelphia lawyer to unravel that?''
When the older daughter is particu-
larly dutiful about caring for the baby
1t may mean nothing more than that
she hates to wash dishes.
After a man has reached the age
when he is ready to settle down and
stop giving his wife trouble. his sons
have reached the age to begin.
If a woman can't, with some show
of honesty, say the clothes of her en-
envy are shabby, she swings the other
way and declares they are loud"
Father may monopolize the rocking
chair to the disadvantage of his wife
but he never gets a chance at the ham,
mock if there are daughters in the
family.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The theory that one body cannot oc-
cupy more than one place at time Is
dispelled by a fat woman in a street
car.
A married man has little terror of
being called to the witness stand in
court. He's been cross-examined be-
fore.
Most fathers say not word when
they are asked for a daughters hand.
They just fall on the fellows neck and
weep with joy.
Many women who marry men to re-
form them in various ways are terri
bly, disappointed to find that they don't
need 1t in the least.
X X X
Cornet players are not half the NUS
ance as neighbors that pianists are be-
cause they cannot try to sing and play
at the same time.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11
FROA OTHER PENS
HOT WEATHER ECONOMY.

"
In default of crime wave does the
present hot weather manifest itself in
attacks of what Peggotty charitably
called "nearness? % Miss Edythe NJ.
Crooks of Hackensack found 100000
lying in the street and was rewarded
with S. The owner was woman,
name unknown. Mr. Chalfant or ST
cents for car fare. Another St Louis
his wife bought 90 cent gown.
While distorted notions of economy
are not peculiar to either sex, man
usually finds his victims In his own
domestic circle. In the majority OF
cases a decent respect for the opinions
of mankind makes him a liberal
spender when in company 1t was
testified that the enemy of the ST.
Louis transportation companies was
accustomed to play pinochle at $lO
game Possibly this is why the
walters tip comes easier from the
man may be reasonably liberal over
his meals and amusements. ne exer-
cises strict supervision over the cloth
ing expense account, his own lnciuoed.
On the other hand, woman has be-
come the watchdog OF the domestic
treasury, and. consequently. deals In
small sums She may omit the tip or
reward the recovery of $4,000 on a
four-thousandth basis. She hesi-
tates less when it comes to the pur-
chase of hats and gowns The cynical
might suggest in epigrammatic para
phrase that with her it is inherent
economy tempered BY harmless vanity
This at all events does not put her in
as bad a light as the man who econo-
mixes at home that he may increase
his personal expenditures abroad
New York World
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

sub~crfbers Of the State Joprnaf
away during the summer may hav''
fhe paper mailed regularly each day
TO any address Mt the rate OF ten cents
a week or thirty cents month thy
mail oniy.) Address changed as often
as desired. While ont OF town the
State journal win he to you like
daily letter from home.
Advance payment is recuested on
these short time subscriptions. to save
boOEtNoriDc- rxpenses.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
IFrom the New York Press.l

IF'rom the New York Press.1
It's mighty queer if the Lord loveth
the cheerful giver Of advice.
The way some people can lie about
their truthfulness is a great credit to
them.
The more a woman isn't good looking
the more you won't offend her by tell
ing her she is.
When a man volunteers to take his
wife on a trip with him next week she
can be absolutely sure he isn't going.
Girls seem to want to change their
stockings for whatever they are going
to do, even to saying their prayers.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

It's quite evident that Harry K.
Thaw intends to bring enough suits OF
various sorts demanding his presence
in several different localities to keep
him on the move pretty much and with
out the asylums wall even if he can
not get an order freeing him from the
insane institutions. He surely is get
ting a good deal of freedom for man
who is supposed to be confined in
lunatic asylum.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

AS the Wichita Eagle pertinently
points out the Democrats are being
blamed by unsuccessful Republican
candidates at the recent primaries for
their defeat. There's no use denying
st. The Democrats are mighty handy
individuals to have around. The blame
for everything can be placed on them.
And the best OF all they don't seem to
mind 1t much but go right ahead maxi
ing their plans for success at the polls
and 1t is bound to be theirs sooner or
later. Such optimism as they possess
las certain to be rewarded.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
TFrom the Chicago News.1

tFrom the Chicago News.1
Baby talk never savors of a dead
language.
Many a young mans unsteadiness Is
due to a steady income.
You seldom see a water wagon with
more than one man on IL.
Many a man who gets his back up
like a camel acts like bear.
1t isn't always a small matter when a
woman puts her foot in It.
Don't think that because you ride q
hobby you are the only Jockey in the
race.
Our idea Of a hypocrite is a married
man who pretends to feel sorry for a
bachelor.
Anyway. the man in Jail doesn't have
to worry about where his next meal Is
coming from.
When a woman throws a brick at an
old hen it's usually harder on the
scenery than 1t Is on the hen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

Topeka business men are to be con-
graduated on their response. even If it
was a bit tardy, to the call for SUBJ
scriptions to assure the building of the
Topeka railway, a pro-
ject that will prove to be of inestim-
able benefit to the city. But then the
great majority of Topekans are never
found wanting in lending their assist
ance to anything which will be of
benefit to the town.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

Already the political wiseacres at
Washington are beginning to forecast
the interesting and even merry times
which will prevail in the United
States senate when Mr.. Bristow of
Kansas, Mr.. Cummins of Iowa, and
one or two others, get bit busy un-
der the leadership of Mr.. LaFollette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

All kinds of compliments are being
received by the state tax commission
from taxing officials of other states re-
garding its work in Kansas this year.
It's likely an oversight that the tax
commissioners have not been compli-
mented much by the folks at home for
It's safe to say that their excellent
work is greatly and generally appre-
ciated by the people of the state. 1t
surely ought to be.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

steal a primary nomination. Still you
never can tell and 1t may be just as
well to fix up the law in this particular
for any emergency that might arise.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

Experts have discovered at the
twenty hour that the primary law
lds defective in that there Is no way
provided in it to stop the theft of a
nomination. Maybe the legislators pur-
Fosely made the law without any pro-
visions to this end on the theory thar
In this enlightened day and in this
state Of grace no man could be found
gho would be despicable enough to
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

The stars and stripes of the United
States have been egged. But mas
much as this happened at Litchfeld,
ILL.,, during parade of anti-saloon
forces neither the army nor the navy
will be called upon to avenge the in
sult
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

Attention is called by a New York
newspaper to, the fact that there's
something like wondrous gold field
at Newport, r. l. A number of widows
whose fortunes aggregate 5000, 900
are summering there
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

According to the Mexican Herald
fifty distinct languages characterize
the people of Mexico. And therefore
It's about time that tower to rival
that of Babers should he set up there.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

A good sample of the kind of times
that prevail in Kansas is found in the
fact that banks of the state are be-
wailing because of their inability to
loan out their surplus money.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11
k'ULI. LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESs

The State Journal Is a member c. me
Associated Press and receives the fui. DAY
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka
The news IL received In The State JON
yal building over wirec for this sole put-
pose
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

Financier-So you're thinking of paint
ing pictures? If you take my advice. you'll
paint like Reynolds. There's money in IL.
Punch. '' '--
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11
To Cripple the Ghost.

This curious bit of Dalmatian super
stition turned up in a recent trial at
Trieste: Antonio Iagio, widow, was
accused of multilating a corpse, and
also with disturbing the repose of the
dead, by severing the sinews In the
foot of Mathe Duda, a deceased land
owner. at Salona, near Spalato. In
that locality exists a deeply rooted
superstftion that any evfl-doer will,
after death. be compelled to wander
round eternally in the shape of a
greatly distended spirit. to the terror
and discomfort of himself and all be-
holders.
AS Duda's daughter-in-law had rea-
sons for fearing that he might become
a "Bukodlak," as the Dalmatian YER
nacular has IT, she employed the
widow to cut the ligaments in one foot.
and thus prevent any ghostly RAM
blings later Antonio, the widow, be-
lieved absolutely In the superstition
and conscientiously earned her pay.
The lower court discharged the pris-
oner, because she had acted from mo-
tives of piety: but the. court of appeal
reversed the decision and sentenced
her to three days imprisonment for
mistreatment Of q corpse.-Chicago
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

"And what has the Colonel done since
local option came in?' Met 1t valiantly.
Claims now to be a good judge OF ginger
pop."-Exchange.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

Next to having a good complexion
a woman would like to have a good
Observation-Disclosures News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

BrigRs-You say business Is looking up
Griggs-That's what 1t IL. It can't 1ool
any other way: it's flat on its back.-Ex
change.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

This wil1 be a memorable trial." de-
ly have gotten together a competent
cast" Good" All that remains IL to
see the district attorney and submit our
dialogue and scenario. Sketch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

And what did she say7" Told me to get
up and be practical. "-Louisville Courier
Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

Elsa-The paper says that the bride was
unattended. Stella-That notice was writ
ten NJ in advance of the wedding. but Il
was good guess; the bridegroom failed
to show up.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-11

The strained relations became pain
full, but what could either do? They
could not accuse each other on an an
onymous letter. They did great deal
of thinking, however.
It so happened that both had been
engaged previous to their own engage
ment What did watch your wife and
YOU will discover" mean except
that Kitty's old lover was writing to
her-seeing her neutrality-suspicious.
her that he could never. never love
another. and suggesting an elopement
to a faraway isle?
The letter carrier was questioned as
to what letters he delivered at the
house A private detective was paid
Sc day to search the town for the
old lover. The boy that moved the
lawn was instructed to keep watch on
all life insurance and sewing machine
agents calling at the house, and the
husband began to feel himself Sher-
lock Holmes.
Something was also done on the
other hand Night after night, as the
husband lay sleeping-for even Jealous
husbands do sleep-a form clad in
white might have been seen going
his pockets in search of dam
aging evidence.
His weekly visits to his masonic
lodge had to be verified. If he went
ont in the evening to order soap at the
grocery he was followed. OF course,
he must in some way be in communi-
cation with his old love. and have
of divorce in view. just
let him try It! If he ran away he
should be brought back in chains. If
he applied for a divorce she would
tight the case TO the last court in the
land.
Naturally their set noticed that
something was wrong. strive as the
couple might before company, but no
one knew just what was the trouble.
and for once the mutual friend did
not interfere and make matters worse.
A more miserable couple did not ex-
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1908-04-14
PUT IN A
PUMPING PLANT
Warren & LittletOn to Install a Large
One for j. H. Lebeck, South
of Town.

Warren & Littleton are preparing
to put in a pumping plant for j. H.
Lebeck on his place, two miles south
of Wenatchee.
Mr.. Lebeck expects to use the
pump as an adjunct to his water right
in the Squilchuck. The water In the
Squilchuck becomes quite low in Au-
gust, 80 that more water is needed
for about two months time.
The pump that Is being put IN
will be triplex, capable Of irrigating
between 35 and 40 acres at height
of $50 feet above the intake. The
water will be taken from the Colum-
bia river. Power will be furnished
by a twelve horsepower gasoline en-
gine.
Messrs. Warren & Littleton are in
stilling another pumping plant at
Wenatchee Vineyards, five miles up
the Columbia river for irrigating
their own ranch and other parties
who have purchased power. This
plant will be capable of irrigating
100 hundred acres.