The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1908-01-30


ON THE CHIN.
better than any other tramp, but
am somewhat conservative by nature
1t is only when l am corlared by the
police that look naughty and fan
back upon my Knickerbocker ancestry
and my blue blood, and If get thirty
In the cooler | take 1t out In digni
fed fashion instead OF making a
squeal.
I was hanging about Philadelphia
few weeks ago to study the graft sys-
TEN and make more or less success
Of my G. 0. d. invention when one
evening as I was strolling about l
meets up with catosh young man.
could tell that he belonged to the
swagger set while he was yet block
away. He had the proper air and his
hat on the back Of his head. I sized
him up for young man with a rich
papa, doting mother and mouth
for quail on toast and dry champagne
In doing business with the public !
have little story to relate. The story
Is accompanied by proper air of
hope lost forever, and It includes thir-
teen separate and distinct misfortunes
and chunk of human ingratitude as
big AZ a house. A very few persons
hear the story and swear. The great
majority either preserve respectful
silence and tender me a nickel at its
conclusion or weep copiously and ten
der me advice about getting too near
the cage OF the Bengal tiger when Wis
iting the ZOO. might not have tackled
the catosh young man but for his per-
turbed look. ! saw that there had been
an epoch of some sort in his rosy life.
and l struck an attitude and began
chapter Of my serial. hadn't got
Off ten lines when he interrupted with:
"Stow It, Gully. Where were you
bornr
Born In the Lap Of Luxury.
"In the lap Of luxury" says I, "but
Mt the early age Of ten trust squeezed
my old man out Of his tannery and
threw me on cold world"
where's your palace carp
Switched of and left behind"
"And your valet?"
Dropped dead the other day Of heart
disease when handed him quarter,
and I'm afraid l can't fill his place"
Il should say your allowance wasn't
over $500 month" he goes on as he
Nd hn vxut ay.cx s,eA ~
ITS trifie under that just at pres
ent," says I, "but I'm standing In with
a contractor to steal the curbstones on
ten different streets, and / may be
able to buy third auto month
hence"
Look here, Gully" says the catosh
young man ms he drops his banter and
grows serious and breathes champagne
all over the block, II think know a
dilapidated gentleman when see one"
20. G. (dilapidated gentleman) hits
me to a dot-some dilapidation, some
gentleman. The two make fair COM
bine. Go ahead"
"And you've got biceps?"
Feel and see. Reaching out for
nickels for the last fifteen years has
given me the muscles Of Sandow.
Reaching is the best thing In the world
for shoulder exercise, even II you don't
get anything"
And being dIlapidated gentleman
with biceps you ought to know how to
put up your dukes?"
In reply put 'em up and tapped him
one. two, three, lightly on the chin,
but at the same time kept an eye on
policeman across the street.
"Bewtiful," says the catosh young
man as ! drops my hands. II belong
to s. s. s. (swagger swell set club
down here, and galoot with lisp in
his mouth and not brains enough In
hil head to fill thimble smashed me
In the nose with the gloves half an
hour ago and will crow over 1t for q
week. want revenge. but l don't
take to the gloves somehow. I can't
get the swing Of 'em. If you'll come
down and knock that ninny's eye
brows or I'll cough mp v. can
run You in all right, and want you
to soak him. You needn't quite Kill
him, but jar his teeth out at least.
ITS five to soak the chap with the
lisp" says ! after thinking the thing
over, ''but how much to bluff the
whole club down into their bootsf'
Can you do 1t, man-can you do II
for surer he eagerly exclaimed as a
beautiful smile came to his phiz.
Il think can. At least am willing
~ trr"