The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1908-08-27


"a woman's Love and the Morn
ing Dsw." Being an Old saying
Biikinsyiile. n. C. Aug. -. 1905.
Correspondence of The Caucasian
Enterprise
I hev bin watehIn' the anticks oS
what most people call love-sica or
courttn' couple. An hit IL wurth
goin' miles ter see. thoagh the show
gifts nifty dull at times. an really
| seems ter be awi over. But sumhow
| they manage ter bring the frazzled
| edges tergether an give another =
fer-a-quarter performance. Hit liz
sed that they IL a rose fer every
thorn. But. II | hain't powerfully
mistaken they IL erbout two throns
| ter every rose In a genuine win-or-
lose love affair. An still they air a
real necessity, an an indispensable
household artikle; an they hev bin
| breakin' out ermong the people fer
| more than six thousand years, fer
sum people figger that the wurld liz
a little past six thousand years old.
| | think they may be mistaken erbout
| the age ov the wurld though. Thar
| may be other wurlds an they may
be inhabited. But If this one IL the
only wurld, an hit must be fer hit
contains Egypt, Asia. Palestine, Jul
deah an awl the other countries
mentioned in the Bible, then hit liz
| jest az likely ter be six millyun years
old az hit liz ter be six thousand.
| Hit won't do ter believe everything
the politicians start afioat.
| But 1 wuz tryin ter tell you er
| bout that courtin' couple. Hit liz
plum site. Both ov them sum-
times look like they air SO happy
that they couldn's go on the witness
stand an tell the truth. Then. err
| gin, they each look like they had
lost both parents an awl other close
kin. Then 1 git sorry fer them, fer
ache, or az that other pain you may
hev had jest after eatin' an over
dose ov green apples.
Az l am testifyin' before the pub
lick az a court maybe | had better
confine my evidence ter the fackts
in the case on not depend too much
upon hearsay. Before l got tied up
| in the hard knott ov mattrymony
had one or two,-in facke, several,
Experiences in landin' better
| half; that IT, in tryin' ter land one.
| lost much sleep, wuz in CRATE pain,
an would often go fer days without
eatin' a square meal. | awlso lost
much hair. l remember one little
girl an what she sed an did, az IL
hit had anvil happened yesterday. She
wuz az purity az a pickter on one ov
these little fancy postcards that you
see so often nowadays. I thought
they wuz poetry in her soul an
honey-dew on her lips. l had hit
bad. They wuz no tonick in the
ldocktor book that would fit my case.
nothin' that would cure me, exsept
lcomplete an full ownership ov that
little CURL. An hit WuZzent long till
II sorter began ter make eyes at her
in a Chritsian-like like way. l re-
formed at once an determined ter
ANYWAYS be guide in the future. wuz
a changed man if they ever wuz one.
Ov course 1 wuz powerfully existed.
but l ackted SO cool, or | thought l
did, that butter would not melt In
my mouth. l wuZ even bashful, an
when l got in the sacred presence ov
that little CURL my feet would anvil
git mixed up an I couldn't tell
whether I wuz goin' backwards or
forwards. When 1 would begin ter
try ter talk my tongue would ackt
like hit had grown solid ter the roof
ov my mouth an l couldn't git hit
ter say a wurd Oh, I had hit bad
If ever a poor mortal did. Forty
docktors couldn't hev cured me then.
Hit would hev taken at least dozen
docktors ter hev looked at my
tongue an five Or six more ter heV
feyt my pulse. An hit wuz not my
first offense either, fer l had Din
through several dangerous expert
ences ov the same sort. But hit
seemed ter me that I had struck
lserious proposition at last. Al
times hit didn't seem that my blood
wuz sirsulatin' a bit. / wuz very
Inear unconscious, in sort ov dream
Iawl the time-exsept when my
thoughts would turn ter that sweet
little package ov creation an then
my heart would beat so loud an
fast that hit sounded ter me like
: sum one wuz beatin' on the head on
an empty barrel with sledge ham
: mer. Well, I sorter begun ter cast
. sheep-eyes at her an she did like
wise with me. In little while hi
seemed ter me that awl the Wurlo
wuz a f1ower-garden with here and
thar an apple orchard, strawberr,
| or a watermelon patch; an the birds
sung very sweetly every day, rain OF
shine. When I walked upon the
. ground / felt like I wuz steppin' er'
. bout ten feet high. We had severa
/. nice little chats. When I'd go tel
. see her she would brighten up an
3 look nifty happy, an when I'd star
: ter leeve she'd look awfully sad an
e broken up. Anyway, I thought she
4 did. But I hadn't even begun tel
| cut my eyeteeth in that sort ov bust
: ness. l had thought that my expert
J. ence ermounted ter sumpthin'. Blu
b thar is whar l wuz fooled. l WI
e nothin' but a greenhorn, love-sicl
}. tenderfoot frum erway back east.
/: Purity soon noticed that her eye