Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-09-18
= '%'':ssEIksHES
.@saSsoE EFuN
~NNNNN0@ND

Poet-Have you read my last poem?
Friend-I trust that l have.-Judge
Briggs-You say business is looking
up? Grlggs-That's what 1t is. 1t can't
look any other way it's fat ON its back.
-EX.
Little New York Boy-Say, father,
when will be old enough so that
won't have to get up and give my seat
to a lady?-Life.
ION my knee begged her for
kiss" "And what did she say?" "Told
me to get up and be practical.
vile Courler-Journal.
my wife made an engagement for
me to dine at the Blngs'. l forgot and
went fishing" Catch anythingT mot
until got home."-Plain Dealer.
Curate-I haven't seen your husband
at church recently, Mrs. Bloggs. What
is he doing? Mrs. Bloggs-'E be doin
six months, sir London Opinion.
"Maude was afraid the girls wouldn't
notice her engagement ring" "Dld
they" Did they? Six of them rec
ognized 1t at once-Cleveland Plain
| Dealer.
Chappie-Have a cigarette, old man?
Sapleigh-No; l don't smoke fool-klll-
ers. Chappie-Well, l don't blame you
for refusing to take chances.-C Chicago
Daily News.
This Is a new shaving soap I'm
using" said the barber. "How do you
like it?' applied externally" splut-
tered the victim.-The Catholic Stand
ard and Times
Nell-Maude has q new dressmaker
what do you think of the fit of her new
gown? Belle-I shouldn't Call 1t a fit
l should call it onvulslon.-Phila.
delpha Record.
"Of course you play bridge only for
fun?" "Of course" answered Mrs
Spangleton. But it isn't any fun un
less you are playing for money!
Washington Star
II heard him behind the door plead
Ing for just one. They must be en-
gagged" Nav, they're married. 1t wa.
a dollar he was pleading for."-Louls
vile COurier-Journal.
do you consider your nerve is suf
ficiently steady to fit you for al air
ship navigator" 'Well, I've been ou
in a canoe with nervous fat GIRL
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Tramp-Can you assist me along tn
road, mum? Lady of the House-Per
sonally l can not; but l will unchail
my dog, and l know he will be mos
pleased to do so!-London Tit-Bits.
Mar "Well, dear?" Does th
Bible honestly say that we gotta 10y,
our enemies?' yes" Gee I" "What,
the matter?' "I-I wisht I'd a plckeC
some different enemies. ."-Clevelan,
Leader.
Heiress-But father, that handsom
foreign count says he will do somethin,
desperate and awful If l do not MARI!
him. Father (dryly)-He will. HI
will have to go to work.-Baltimor
American.
well, young man." thundered tn
head of the house. "S-sir" stammeret
the YOUTH Il want to marry your d-d
, daughter" Jaw, take her and wei
come. l was afraid you were courtln,
, the cook. k."-EX.
. "Waiter," said a traveller in a rail
g road restaurant, "did you say | hat
! twenty minutes to wait or that it wa
twenty minutes to eight?" "Nayther
9 Oi said ye had twinty minutes to ate
!, an thot's all ye did have. Yer train
0 just gone."-Everybody's Magazine.
The art photographer had visited "
farm. Il want to make an eXhaustiv
: study of this particular bit of land
: scape," he said, land would like to hav
$ your hired man retain his present DC
: sition on the fence there. Can ho 81
9 stil?" "FOr days at time" replie.
+ the farmer.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.