davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1908-05-07

Kodol completely digests all classes
OF food II viii get right at the trouble
and do the very work itself for the
stomach II Is pleasant 10 take. Sold
by c. Il. Renfro, . -. Nii
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06
He ATE THE SOAP.
Garland Would Have cwalioweL It n
II Had Killed Him.


II Had Killed Him.
Augustus II. Garland, who was at-
tosney general ul..cf President Cleye.
land. was very foad Of practical jokes
ar1 during his tern OF service IN the
fetase frecrcntly t.:Tae1 the laugh on
hIs colleagues. Senators Voorhees, and
Vest. with whom he was very friendly,
finally determined 10 turn the tables.
Mr. Garland had q habit, like Voor-
hcea, Of munchlng candy. and Vest anG
Voorhees, made 1t up between them 70
take advantage Of his fondness for
sweets to play their trick. They had
some tempting looking chocolate cara
mels prepared, with the interior filed
with brown soap. These they took to
the sennte chamber. and Voorhees,
placed them on his desk. The lid being
of. when Mr.. Garland sauntered down
the aisle he noticed them at once.
what have you there, Danp be In.
quIred.
voorhees, looked up careleaSly from
his writing and responded: "Caramels.
Help yourself"
Garland needed no second invitation
and. picking up two or three, placed
one In his mouth. Steadily be Chewed
away. his face betraying no sign Of the
conflict within him. This alarmed
Voorhees,. who went to Vests desk and
said:
He's eating them. vestl What shall
we do? The stun VIII KIN him surev'
Senator Vest replied that 1t could do
no more than make him sick. Garland
swallowed the stun, although he was
foaming at the mouth from the soap.
suds. He related the incident after
ward with great gusto and said he
would have swallowed It II 1t had
killed him.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06
Trrstb and
Quality

appeal To the Well-Informed 10 every
walk Oi life and ore essential 70 permanent
success and crcdlsabIe standing. AecOr-
irgly, u ls not claimed that Syrup Of Figs
and Elixir Of SIENNA ls the only remedy Of
known value, but one Of many reasons
why II y the best 81 personal and family
laxatIyes h The fact that " cIeanses,
swcctenS and relieves the internal organs
on which II acts without any debilitating
after effects and without having To increase
Tho quantity from time to time.
II acts pleasantly and naturally and
truly 40 d laxative, and its component
parts are known to and approved BY
phykleIans, as II 10 free from all objection
able substances. To get It's beneficial
effects always purchase the genuine
manufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co., only. and for sale BY al leading drug
gjsts.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06
New York News Letter

NEW YORK, Oct, 5-I'rhc wealth
of Tie United States II increasing Az
the rate Of over 100000 day from
lis agricultural products alone Is the
statement made on the authority Of
no less an expert than Secretary Of
Agriculture Wilson IN the October
number of Applcton's magazine, Az
large part Of the %-OO0,0OO.OOO
worth Of cereal, cotton and other
crops which Il Is estimated that the
country Is producing this year will
90 10 market within the next few
months, II Is believed BY authorities
here that this great outpouring oi
national wealth will mark a VIGOROUS
revival Of prosperous conditions IN
lines Of general industry. Now that
Il Is definitely assured that the prin'
cipal crops will be large and will
command good prices, II II predicted
that the beginning Of 1909 will mark
the termination OF the period OF de-
preston that has existed for the past
year, The Appleton article graphi'
cally describes the various processes
Of handling the crops which Y de-
scribes as "our biggest job II shows
that the worldwide mechanism cen
tering in the Chicago Board OF Trade
by which the grain-grower in this
country Is able 10 take advantage Of
every favorable price factor ID every
part 81 the world, and TO sell his
crop at cash figures for future de-
livery, Is Of vast financial benefit 10
the American farmer in bringing to
his door world.market for every
bushel Of grain that he grows. The
system not only Of handling crops
but also Of collecting and distribut-
ing crop information has been per
ieeted TO a greater extent in the Uni
ted States than anywhere else in the
world, and this fact Is pointed out as
accounting in no small degree for
the unquestioned supremacy Of
America among the food-produc-
ing countries Of the world. Without
this machinery to register the rela-
ton Of supply and demand, the chief
agricultural products would be sub
ject 10 sudden and violent price Auc-
tua,ions that would make farming
one OF the most hazardous OF occupa
tions instead OF as now one Of the
most secure. A fact indicated by the
statistics quoted which Is likely TO
come as q surprise 70 many persons
Is that the hay crop now ranks sec
ond in money value among all the
varieties Of agricultural output, be-
ing exceeded only by corn.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06
FLY FoGs IN INDIA.
A Plague That at Times Makes Life
unbearabls In Calcutta.

A Plague That at Times Makes Life
unbearabIs In Calcutta.
One Of the evils Of Calcutta Is the
plague Of green files, from which the
whole city suffers at certain times in
the year. The happy hunting time Of
these minute Insects Is during the late
autumn and early winter. They are a
serious nuisance both In and out of
doors. They wing their way through
all the open doors into the houses and
into every room. making life unbear.
able.
Like most insects, the little green
files have a great affection for the
fame. On occasion the inhabitants
have found 1t necessary to put out all
the gaslights, even at a public dinner,
and to take their meals practically in
deep gloom, Illuminated only by flick
ering candles.
Naturally 1t is not at all pleasant to
go on eating with dense clouds Of In.
sects Swarming overhead or, roasted
to death, falling about ono in pattering
showers.
They seem to spring into existence
from nowhere. Perhaps 1t Is almost
dusk when the lights Of the street
lamps are becoming visible, Then
suddenly the air, which a moment be
fore was quite clear, is full Of n,yriads
Of green flies, drifting in misty patches
and obscuring the street lamps.
Often the number Of insects which
have been scorched to death is so great
that little heaps OF them collect inside
the lamps, while bucket loads have to
be swept up from the roads next morn
ing.-London Answers,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06
Saved His Boys Life

my three year old boy was badly
'constipated, had a high fever and
was in an awful condition. | gave
him two dozens Of Foley's orino
Laxative and the next morning the
fever was gone and he was entirely
we'll. Foley's Orino Laxative saved
his life" A, Wolkush, Casimer, Wis.
T. F. Laurin, Owl Drug Store,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06

Pat Shoedy, the veteran gambler,
| is credited with paraphasing the say
ing that a sucker is born every min
ute by the assertion that in Manhat-
haitian new scheme for catching sue
kers is hatched every day, 1t is safe
to say however, that the latest bun
co game, which has just come to light
here, is one that has seldom been
equalled in originality and ingenuity.
That It justihes its discoveries de-
scription as a Smooth scheme" is
shown by the fact that the eminent
sporting celebrity and Tammany pol
itician, big Tim" Sullivan, is repor-
ted to have been one of its victims,
The new game, which can be worked
only in connection with cards, was
discovered entirely by accident. A
notorious gambler of this city recent
ly lost an eye in spirited alterca-
ton. Upon his recovery it was re-
placed by glass substitute and it
was entirely by chance that he dis
covered thar the artificial eye was
much better than a real one. While
engaged in game Of cards the own
er Of the glass eye suddenly observed
that the faces of the cards held by
his adversary we're reflected in the
gold ring which he was wearing, the
glass eye acting as a reflector. I'M
proving on this discovery he perfec-
ted an arrangement by which an ad-
versary's cards are reflected from a
glass eye to specially constructed
seal ring containing a mirror So
successful have the results Of this
new game proven that it is proposed
in some Of the circles where games of
chance are not exactly frowned up
on 70 make all strangers prove that
they are not equipped with "phony
blinkers" before permitting them to
play.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06

While New York's position as the
largest city in America Is unquestion-
ed, il is no longer the largest city Of
Americans. The latter place, as
nearly as can be determined, belongs
either TO Philadelphia or Boston. Fa-
ther Knickcrbocker, however, has
other titles to compensate for the loss
OF this one for his domain ranks not
only as the largest city in America,
but as the largest Irish, Jewish and
various other kinds Of cities. Aceor-
ding 10 latest statistics New York,
while falling behind 40 far as Ameri-
cans are concerned, has many times
the Hebraic population OF any other
city, 1t is also the largest Irish city
in the world so far as population Is
concerned, There are more Ger
mans in New York than In any city
in Germany, except Berlin and pos
sibly Hamburg, and If the present
rate Of increase keeps up the great
est city in America within two de-
cades will be also the greatest Ger
man city in the world, In addition
to all this New York is the second
largest Greek city in the world, on
the basis OF population, and has
larger Italian population than any
city in Italy, except Naples, Milan
and Rome, The great majority Of
these buildings being more than the
combined population Of four Of the
six New England states This en-
ormous foreign element may be ac-
counted for by the fact that during
the past year the increase in popula-
tion has been greater than in all
states west OF the Mississippi river,
About 5000 factories in this city em-
ploy 10000 women, the great major
ity Of whom are foreigs Sixty-six
languages are spoken in this modern
Babel Among these English ranks
only seventh More than fifty FIVE per
cent of the voting population is for
eign by birth. Altogether, while
New York may claim to be the lar
gest cosmopolitan center in the world
and to contain the largest single ag-
gregation Of several nationalities, il
can no longer claim to be the largest
American city as far as native-born
or English-speaking persons alone
are considered
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06
Chinook and Ilwaco.

The launch Hulda /, will leave on
the tide, Mondays, Wednesdays and
Fridays, two round trips, for
Chinook. Landing at Lurline dock
for freight and passengers, Tuesdays,
Thursdays and Saturdays, for Ilwaco,
with freight and passengers,
CAPT. JOHN TIAAGBLOM,
l0-4-tf
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06

Although there are over thousand
publications regularly issued in New
York, ranging from dailies Of many
editions to scientific quarterlies, and
printed in every language from base
ball to Chinese, the enterprising man
Is still able to find new fields for
specialized organs, This is proved
BY the establishment Of a new period
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06

BY buying alleged bargains in unre
liable stores. To claim to give great
values Is easy, and d very common
practice, but to actually give them is
rare. We have a reputation for keep
ing our promises and more. We do
more than we claim, hence the steady
and natural growth Of our business
You will find that by steadily dealing
with Us you are saving money all the
year ronnd,
Have you seen the fine display Of
new style Heaters, in our big stove
department, upstairsl
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06

Office boys may come and Office
boys may go, but New York has an
Office boy who apparently goes on
forever. He Is a promising young
ster Of 80 years, who IN spite of han.
dicaps has held his job for sixty-nine
years. He began his work in 1889
and by constant application expects
to be able 70 end his career exactly
where he began Il, He was office
boy two decades before the Civil
War, during that conflict, and ever
since, serving three generations OF
employers. Naturally this youth who
claims the record for Office boy SER
vice. after term longer than the al
loted life Of man, Ii unique among Of
fee boys Of the younger generation.
Perhaps the most remarkable thing
about him is that during all his work
ing life this paragon OF Office boys
whose name is Samuel Bracket, has
never had a vacation, Claiming TO be
the Oldest boy in the world he has
laid down after sixty-nine years SER
vice in the same position certain laws
which make for success, Strict at
tention TO business is the way to get
ahead In the world says Bracket,
the s0-year-old worlds champion Of
fee boy, in spite OF the fact that he
has never gotten ahead at all But in
spite Of his age and service Sammy.
as he is still called by the grandchil-
dren Of his employer, Is one Of the
most efficient Office boys in the city,
curiously enough his present employ
er Is that Mrs. Fisher, who is popu-
larly known as the anvil Queen"
and who was denominated by WI
Ting Fang, Chinese minister to the
United States, "the most wonderful
woman in the world"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06

ical called THE Janitor," the hrst
number of which has Just appeared.
AS rs name indicates the new maga-
zine Is devoted 70 the interests Of
Janitofs Of whom the editor asserts
that there are 100000 in the Greater
City II this figure Is correct II will
be seen al once that there are oppof-
tunities 10 build Up d tremendous cit-
culation among the lords Of the fur
mace and the garbage-ean who rule
over the destinies Of a majority Of
New YorRs populatios. Special de-
parlmcnts IN the new publication pro-
badly will be devoted 10 telling how
10 extract tips from reluctant house
holders and how 10 quell rebellious
tenants One Of the announced OBJ
jects Is OF form the janitors into d
union, o result that would be viewed
with more or less apprehension as
such an organization would have the
residents Of the city at It's mercy and
could bring them to terms in short
order by turning of the heat and re-
fusing TO let the useful dumbwaiter
to travel up and down with It's load
of groceries and other supplies, Aside
from these possibilities Of tyrannous
power the new periodical Is an in
teresting illustration Of the extent to
which specialized journalism Is be-
Ing developed
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06

Foley's Honey and Tar cures
Coughs quickly strengthens the
lungs and expels colds. Get the
genuine in yellow package. T. I'll
Laurin, Owl Drug Store.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-10-06
Oysters.

Bay Center Oyster House, 42O
Bond street. Oysters wholesale and
retail, George Saunders, Prop. o-27-tf
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-12-05

managed to smile. AS for Lord James
he looked at me like I'd trod on the
queens corns.
Blessed if 1 could see what there
was funny about it. Scion can play
like an Injun- Why. I've seen him
bust two strings at a Thanksgiving
ball and then play Mrs. McLeod's
Reel''-you know, -Buckshee, nanny
goat, brown bread and beans"-on
t'other two. till there want a still foot
in the hall.
We made Eastwich Port about noon
and had dinner. 1 cooked up kettle of
chowder-fetched the clans along
, with me from home-and 'twould
have done you good to see the Heav-
enlies lay into it. Lord James he
skipped around like a hoppergrass in
hot skillet, fetching glasses and
laying out nine or ten different kind
of forks and spoons side of each
plate, and opening wine bottles, and
1 don't know what all. When he hove
IN sight of the wharf that morning he
was toting a basket pretty nigh as
big as he was. 1 asked him what it
was.
why, the 'amper," says he.
1.-The which, says l.
THE lunch 'amper, of course he
says. THE 'amper for the heatables' .
Well, wondered then what in the
nation was in it, for twas heavier
than lead. 1 remember that the heft
of 1t made me ask him if he fetched
along some of the late Hannah James
leftover riz biscuit. But now I see
why twas heavy. There was enough
dishes and truck for ten men and the
cook in that basket. We had my
chowder and four kinds of crackers
with it, and chicken and asparagus,
and nine sorts of pickles, and canned
plum pudding with sass, and coffee
and good loud healthy cheese, and red
wine and, champagne When I'd
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-12-05

hoisted in enough of everything so
my matches wouldn't shut tight, and
pulling on one of the Twins cigars,
says to Van:
Mr.. Van Brunt," says 1, sis this
part of what you call the Natural
Life?"
You bet, skipperI" says he. He
hadn't finished the chowder end of
the layout yet.
Well, 1 heaved a sigh. Twas kind
of unnatural to me, having come on
me all to once; but cal'lated 1 could
get used to it in time without she'd
ding no tears. Didn't want to get
used to it too quick, neither;
wanted the novelty to linger along, as
you might say.
When the dinner was over-the
Heavenlies was well enough &C
quained with the family to nickname
it '1unch-I started in to help his
lordship wash dishes. The Twins
sprawled themselves under couple
of pine trees and blew smoke rings.
Hurry up there, messmate," says
1 to the valet; Il want to get through
time enough to run up to the fair
grounds and see that creased pig
race
Hartley had been keeping so still 1
callated he was dropping off to sleep,
! but it seems he want He set up,
stretched, and got to his feet
III go with you, skipper" says he
| Might as well do that as anything.
I've never seen a creased pig race
They don't have 'em on the Street"
Chase nothing but lambs there,
draws Van Brunt, lazy, and with his
! eyes half shut Then he turned over
| and looked at his chum.
Great Caesarl Martini" he says,
| you don't mean to tell me that you re
/ going up into that crowd of hayseeds
| to hang over a fence and watch some
one run, do you? Why any one on
| Gods earth should want to rum" he
says, when they can keep still, is be-
yond me; and why you, of all men,
! should want to watch 'em do it
! that's worse yet Come here and be
| natural and decent"
! But Hartley wouldn't do it His
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-12-05

and a pipe in my face-well, all right
That's my natural life; and 1 don't
need no book to tell me SO, neither.
The Heavenlies enjoyed it, and
they'd ought to. Twas clear then,
though it got hazy over to the BASTARD
later on. But then, as l say, twas
clear, and you could see the schooners
strung out on the skyline, some full
up, with their sails shining white in
the sun, and others down over the
edge, with only their topsls showing.
Far off, but dead ahead, just as if
somebody had dipped their finger in
the bluing bottle and smouched it along
the bottom of the sky, was the Wapa-
tomac shore, and away aft, right over
the stern, was the Trumet lighthouse,
like a white chalk mark on a yellow
fence, the fence being the high sand
bank behind it.
The Twins laid back and soaked in
the scenery. They unbuttoned their
Jackets and took long breaths. They
actually forgot to smoke, which was
a sort of miracle, as you might say,
and even Hartley, who had been bluer
than a spoiled mackerel all the morn
ing, braced up and got real clipper. By
and by they resurrected that book of
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-12-05

theirs and had what you might call a
Natural Life drunk. 1 never see print
ing that went to q persons head the
way that book seemed to go to theirs.
1 judged twas kind of light and gassy
reading and naturally riz and filed the
empty places same as you'd fill a bal
loon.
Everybody was happy but Lord
James, and 1 could see that he want
easy in his mind He set about amid
ships of the cockpit and hung onto the
thwart with both hands, like he was
afraid 'twould bust loose and leave
him adrift. If the Dora Bassett had
struck dere1ict or something and
gone down sudden I'll bet they'd have
dredged up that Hopper valet and the
thwart together. And then they'd
have had to pry 'em apart His lord
ship want used to water, unless twas
to mix with something else
By and by Hartley shoves both
hands into his pockets, tits his hat
back and begins to sing. More effects
of the Natural Life spree, 1 suppose,
but twas bully good singing. Might
have been saying most anything call
ing me a short lobster for what 1
know, cause twas some foreigners
lingo, but the noise was all right even
if l did have to take chances on the
words 1 cal'late to know music when
/ hear it.
Good" says Van, when his chum
stopped Martin, you're better al
ready 1 haven't heard you sing for
two years or more. The last time
was at the Delanceys'. at home Do
you remember the dowager and my
daughter?' Heavens! and my daugh-
ter's' piano playing, Agnes told the
dowager that she had never heard
anything like it. You and she were
together, you know. Give us another
verse"
But Martin wouldn't Shut up like
clam and reached into his pocket for
a cigar
That was A No. L, Mr.. Hartley"
says L Il wish you could hear Scion
Bassett play the fiddle: you'd appre-
ciate it,
Van he roared and even Hartley
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-12-05

Mr.. William f. Vahlberg, Oklahoma
City, Okla, writes:
lone bottle of Peruna which have
taken did more toward relieving me of
an aggravated case of cafarrh of fhe
stomach, than years of treatment with
the best physicians.
Il had given up hopes of relief, and
only tried Peruna as a last resort.
Il shall continue using it, as I feel
satisfied it will effect an entire and
permanent cure.
81 most cheerfully recommend Peruna
to all who may read this
Peruna is usually taken as a. last re-
sort Doctors have been tried and
failed. Other remedies have been used.
Sanitariu1ns have been visited. Travel
has been resorted to.
At last Peruna is tried. Relief is
found.
This history is repeated over and
over again, every day in the year. 1t is
such results this that gives Peruna
its unassailable hold upon the people
We could say nothing that would add
force to such testimonials as the above
That people who have had catarrh and
have tried every other remedy avail
able. find relief in Peruna, constitutes.
the best argument that could be made.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-12-05
CHAPTER Nv.
The Pig Race.

1 don't cal'late that I ever had
better run down the bay than 1 done
that morning. Twas a fair wind, and
a smooth sea, not the slick. greasy
kind, but with little blue waves cha
sing each other and going tSpati
spat." under the Dora Bassett's quar-
ter as she danced over 'em. And
that's just what she did-dance. There
want any hog-wallowing for her; she
just picked up her skirts, so to speak,
and tr1pped along-towing the little
landing skin astern of her-like a 16-
year-old girl going to a surprise party.
An early July morning on the bay
down our way is good enough for
yours truly, Solomon Pratt Take it
with the wind and water like I've said;
with the salt smell from the marshes
drifting out from tae shore, mixed up
with the smell of the philippines on
the bluffs, and me in ths stern of a
good boat with the tiller In my hand
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-12-05

The Youths Companion lately called
attention to the kindness and courtesy
of the princess of Wales on the occa-
sion of having accidentally run over a
dog. 1t is a pleasure to record sim
liar course of conduct on the part of
the count of Turin, brother of the
duke of the Abruzzi. His automobile
wrecked peasants cart. The peasant
wrote to him and called his-attention
to the fact that he had been on the
wrong side of the street, and asked
for $50 to repair the damage The
count at once acknowledged his fault,
apologized for it, and sent 500 in
stead of $50.