The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1908-03-20
WHY MEN LEAVE HOME.

Mary made an ominous gesture and
dropped her half of the paper.
Hum" she remarked.
Fair warning, this, that she was
about to unburden herself of speech
the opening gun Of volley of mus
ket shots-the prelude of music-the
first drop of rain on the roof-the dis
tant reverberation of thunder-an
opening an presage, whichever way
you looked at it. In vain did John
rattle his paper and shuttle his feet.
In vain did he scoff and scowl at the
news. Useless, too, were his signifi-
cant groans, mutterings and Kisses OF
feminine oratory burst suddenly from
| its confines, guns ratified, music play
ed, rain fell, thunder pealed and all
| that had been foretold came to pass.
These runs ON these banks are fun
ny things" exclaimed Mary. $50 are
banks. The way they look at you out
of their little peep-holes! And the
questions they ask! / went to the
bank today with that So check, John,
and 1 showed 1t in all the peep-holes
until l finally came to the right one.
| Paying Teller, he was marked. Is it
| because they tell you the check has
not been indorsed? l suppose it's
taken from the old song:
eff I'd as much money as I could
tell,
I'd never go crying Young lambs to
sell!"'
| "'John, you needn't rattle that pa
per. It's funny IL woman can't talk
in her own house, would you like to
have me deaf and dumb? Lots of those
tellers are dumb enough "This is
made out to the order of Mr.. Sprig-
| ~ Nd hn frrrn tIn oh
over in manner which l thought in
sulting. 1 don't like people to look at
me like that. 1t always makes me
feel as If I'd done something. Why is
that, John? Do you suppose it's be-
cause we know way down in our
hearts, that we're capable of it, and
that If we haven't done anything yet,
we may soon? Grandpa Smith used
to give his boys a whipping all the
way around, and when they asked him
what he was whipping them for, he
used to say, If they don't deserve it
now, they will before night And
that's the way l felt when the teller
looked at me. oh, is it.? said. Yes,
said he. Dear me- said /, what shall
l do?' He showed the check back
through the peep-hole and said, Mr..
Spriggets will have to write his name
across the back of it Now, John,
what's the sense of that? Suppose you
were out of town and this check was
all had between me and starvation.
Fat lots he'd care. But l care. Sup
pose you had writer's cramp or some
thing and just couldn't write your
name-is that any reason why you
should be kept out Of your money?
No! 1t is not! No, John, | won't keep
quiet That's the trouble with you men
you haven't spunk enough. You
| think because a thing is the custom
it is all right and il the teller tells
| you to write your name across the
back of a check you go ahead and
do it and never stop to think.
Nov John, you know, that isn't
right! You needn't thresh your feet
around that way-it isn't right! Sup
pose no one knew me? Suppose l
was a stranger in strange city and
had to have that three dollars or walk
the streets all night? No, sir, those
things ought to be changed and chang
ed quick; and they would, too, II poor
woman only had her say! DO you
know the people in the store next
door? ! asked. Yes said he. do
you trade there?' No. said. I don't
trade there, but they can identify me
all right because they saw me indorse
| the check And when he saw that
he couldn't keep me out of my money
any longer he paid me 50 and stuck
the check on a spike and l bought two
new shirlwaists with it. No wonder
they have runs! John, what is q run!
I suppose everybody wants their mon
ey at once and it's like If all the un-
married men got scare that there
weren't enough girls to go around!
Gracious what a run there'd be!
THEY'D all try to get married at once
and that would create panic. On,
dear me, just feel as If | want to
talk and"- 80
90" grumbled John, that WOULDN'T
be like run on bank.
Wouldn't it, John?" cried Mary.
.eWhen a man gets his money out
| of the bank" said John, gettlng up
from his chair, "he can put 1t BACK
again as soon as he's mind TO; anu
when he puts it back" said John,
plunging his arms into the sleeves Oh
his overcoat, they take 1t down INTO
a vault underneath the ground some
where and they put 1t in steel com,
partment and turn key on IL, ana
then they shut the vault and start the
time lock and it takes three omcers
of the bank to get the money out
again." said John, jamming his nat
down on his head; "but When a man
goes to the matrimonial bank and gets
wife!"
And John went out and walked
about in silence in the dark and Silly
night.-N Y. Evening Sun.