Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-19

EnglandS Grand Old Man, William T.. Glad
stone. was more distressed by Disraeli's vicious
exuberance of his own verbosity" than he was
by the desertion of old time allies or the de-
struction of cherished policies.
Snappy. irasCible, and often venomous in
debate, Lord BrOugham Squlrmed at the
singing sentence that assailed his ears while
he was driving one day at St. Stephens. The
doors of the coach bore his initial letter.
There goes rig. cried pedestrian. with
two bees on the outside and wasp within "
Daniel OConnell's characterization of Dis
raeh as "a lineal descendant of the impenitent
thief on the Cross will last as long as the
language; and the great agitator's charge that
one OF his opponents was capable of sharpen
ing knife on his grandfather tombstone to
cut his grandmother throat" has never been
surpassed in the annals of oratorical invective.
At a recent political meeting in England a
candidate named Willis. whose oratory was of
the loud stacCato style, was completely con-
is barking" The audience instantly detected
the play on Barkis IS willing. and roared
the unhappy speaker into immediate silence
and subsequent defeat.
DR.. Burchard's - Rum Romanism, and Re-
bellion, while not epgram in the accepted
sense. nevertheless carried with it sting that
some say defeated James G. Blaine for the
presidency; while Grover Cleveland. who bene-
fitted thereby. struck strong chord of popular
acclaim by his declaration that public Office
change however The official rendition of this
sterling motto now, according to the muck
rakers, is public office is private graft.
Pun with the Doctors
DOCTORS of medicine have been great sport
for the epgrammatists. While the carriage
OF prominent Brooklyn physician was wait
ing at door on Bergen-st., an undertaken was
delivering a coffin to the next house. Who's
dead!' asked bystander of the doctors
~ IL
reply. :" It's none of our KILN
Two men were talking of the suicide of
mutual friend SO Dick died without doc
tor, after ale" said one. Yes" replied the
other; he was afraid of death, and so he
to the couplet of the old Latin poet:
Can there be greater madness. pray reply,
Than for fear of dying man should die
For the epitaph of scurvy neighbor.
Burns. who was quite happy in this line wrote:
Earthed up here lies an imp o hell,
Planted by Satans dibble.
Poor silly wretch! he's damned himself
To save the Lord the trouble"
Tom Hood cast epigrams at himself in the
face of death. His wife was preparing large
chest My dear" said Hood, that's terri
BILE lot of mustard for a small piece of beef,
Sir Walter Raleigh expressed himself in
similar mood after he mounted the scaffold.
ecutoner, :" This is sharp medicine; but it
is a cure for all diseases"
An Italian nobeman probably beguiled by
patent medicine advertisements. left this in
scription for his gravestone: Il was well .
wanted to be better; took physic. and died"
Charles knight suggested that Good
knight" would be sufficient for his memorial
tablet.
A brother Scot, who did not sympathze
with his peccadillos in life, when asked to
suggest appropriate epitaph for Scotlands
national poet. said, " His ain names enough
Robert Burns
Above the grave Of a notorious lazy man in
a Southern churchyard are the words: Asleep
Gas usuaD"
But Punch's advice to persons about to
marry is the briefest and, a few married men
aver. the most forceful and pungent epigram
extant: Don't"
Poets and Parsons
NEARLY all the English poets of the seven
= teenth and eighteenth centuries were pro-
life of epigramS. Hudibras teens with them
and they we're meat and drink to the caustic
Pope. Buffers description of an educated
numskull was:
He knew what's what, and that's as high
AS metaphysic wit can fly.
A second Thomas, or, at once
To name them all. another Ounce"
An English sporting parson who wished to
shorten the Sunday mornings service that
he might join some kindred spirits, delivered