davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30
AYHAWKER JOTy

Burhnsame not only has new pipe
organ, but 1t has a pop factory with
a capacity Of 5000 bottles day.
"a weak-minded person." says the
Salina Sage. 'is one who cannot fur
nish a good excuse for the losing game
played by the home team
Concordia is out after its weather
man. He has promised them cold.
rainy and otherwise disagreeable
weather for their carnival week.
Atchison boasts Of middle aged
man, J. c. Gibson, who bears the dis
t.l,etion Of never having witnessed q
performance Of Uncle Toms Cabin.
Parsons seems to feel good over the
TACT that there Is plenty OF carp in the
Neosho river. No one will beRrudge
the Parsontes this piscatorial luxury.
A boy was seen on the streets of
Cottonwood Falls during the recent
cold snap who was barefooted and wore
straw hat and heavy woolen mittens.
Atchison has decided that it has sent
houses, and it will establish a Home
Supply company" Anyon. can join
the club and receive their goods eveyy
month.
An Emporia man comes to the de-
fense Of the much abused dandelion
and says: "Dandelions are not only
excellent food, but fine spring medi-
cine, and every man would be better
off If he consumed a bale Of them ev-
cry day.
A school boy at Latham was whip
ped by his school teacher for dis
obedience, and the guardian of the
boy had the teacher arrested for as
sault and battery. The jury dis
agreed and now new trial will be
held. Butler county has plenty of
money and does not mind court ex-
pense.
The mayor of Mound Valley pro-
claimed a cleaning up day and then
personally supervised the hauling
away of 20 wagon loads of cans and
trash. Citizens, filled with civic pride,
carted away as much truck as cid the
mayor and his force. How did 40
wagon loads of trash accumulate in
Mound Valley? s~~rr
When Mr.. Skates oi lola was return
ing to his home at night, some one
fred two shots at him. Mr.. Skates
got away by rapid leg work befol G
the third shot could be fired. He de
c.es that he had his skatcs on and
insists some one was trying to add an
other murder to the long list commit
ted in that town in Gle past year.
A commend able campaign is being
waged against vile and filthy jails In
Kansas, comments an exchange. The
jails ought to be clean and sanitary
adds the Wichita Eagle But there is
this certain ..omfoi ting thought: BY
f. flowing ceria'r clearly eetned rules
a man can manage to c:seapc contact
with vile and filthy jails. rightly says
! the Hutchins III News.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
lFrom the Chicago News,


Some people dispense sympathy be-
cause it doesn't cost anything.
You may say what you please if you
are not anxious to please others.
There are no tomorrows on the cal
endar of the man who does things.
Most married women who profess to
pity old maids secretly envy them.
It's easier to make a sacrifice for
your friends than 1t is to bear the
after effects.
No man on earth would want his
friends to refrain from boasting of his
smartness.
Tact is the ability not to look SOL
emn when rich relative gets off an
alleged joke.
Everything comes to those who wait
with the exception Of a husband to the
waiting spinster.
A woman is more or less suspicious
of her husband when he doesn't forget
to kiss her just before going out.
Beauty doctors are justified in work
ing a skin game If there is anything in
the theory that beauty is only Skin
deep.
Even if a man has no other bad
habit he is apt to send souvenir pos,
cards to his friends every time he haa
J occasion to 20 to another town.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30

The happiest folks in the world
these days seem to be those who are
not burdened with money.
n 4
Evidently some authors keep their
identity closely concealed through dis
cretion, not modeSty.
n 4
You'll hardly compliment a girl by
saying that her face Is q perfect poem
because its lines are SO deep.
X 4 y
Most school boys don't demand
proof that the world il round. They
are willing to believe the Biographies.
4 \ =
Are fremen generally bachelors be-
cause they have to attend to so many
flames they can not settle down with
one?
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
rFrom the Philadelphia Rect

CFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
A man never fully realizes the
value of a closet until he acquires q
family skeleton.
A girl will forgive you for think
ing she has no brains II you only
think she is pretty.
The quarrelsome man should select
his words carefully, for he may have
to eat them.
It's the fellow with a rs cent um-
brella who doesn't know enough to
go in when it rains.
We love some men ror the enemies
they have made. In fact. we would
never have heard of them otherwise.
Nell-"She wants to marry that
foreign count the worst way" Belle
"I should think one way would be as
bad as another"
money talks quoted the Wise
Guy "Yes, but have you ever noticed
that 1t never gives itself away?"
asked the Simple Mug.
She-.The law should provide
severe penalty for trifling with a girls
affections" He-"It does" She
what is it?" He-''Marriage."
"Yes," said the impecunious poet.
"I feel that I have a message for the
world" '-The trouble with you fellows
is that you always send your messages
collect" complained the mere man.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30
GLOBE SIGHTS.

TFrom the Atchison Globe.1
Every thoroughbred finally makes
an assignment.
A man never knows what a rival
he has in a woman's kin until he mar
ries her.
Every woman would be jealous Of
her husband if she could read his
thoughts.
1t is every mans opinion that
mourning attire is useless and costly
advertisement
The world is full of men who have
things they want to sell for less than
they paid for them.
There is one in every family who
shirks, and another who does double
work on account of the lazy one.
There are very few people who live
to be 60 who do not look as though
they were tired of living and afraid
to die.
When a widow appears in "colors"
the first time she nearly always apollo
gizes by saying, Il feel terribly about
taking off mourning, but my relatives
insisted upon it"
When a girl gets married. she is
very often guilty of the offense OF
taking her baby. over to her mother
to watch while she goes gadding, and
then telling other people that her un-
married sisters are mot as thoughtful
| of poor mother as she used to be when
she was at home to help"
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30

travel, at present came to tne
place like, and here I'm going 70
stay
Langdon leaned suddenly toward
Dora His pale face flushed ana ms
hands trembled. But he pulled hiin-
self up again resolutely.
ssPm right, though, Dora In spto
Of your heavenly kindness, 1t can pc
the same as it was when we were
both poor. My dear girl. don't you
see that it is different"
Dora smiled tenderly at him.
Certainly I see that it's dinerent.
Because now have the means 70 pro-
vide luxuriously for the old motner
and delicate sister, and-to keep up q
house for US both.'
Langdon was shaking visihly.
Dora, 1t will not do. Your nus
band must be a more brilliant man
than this old friend. though he can
never be a more faithful. He must
be of your own age. and your own
financial standing. You make 1t
hard. dear one, but you must so back
tomorrow
1T shall never go back" she said
resolutely. "And shall never have
husband. Robert, unless 1t Is this un-
selfish old friend .&
Langdon raised his hand to his
tired eyes to hide q rush OF happy
tears.
do you mean" he stammered:
yes" answered Dora gayly, II
mean this as q proposal. It's leap
year, you know."-(Copyrigh
1908, by Associated Literary Press)
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30
DON'T KICK THE KICKER.

This Is a defense Of the "kicker''
The man who kicks is the true de-
scendant OF the men who laid the
foundations Of our free republic. They
kicked again monarchfal institutions,
and they made their kick good. The
Puritans kicked. They objected to hav-
ing their religion handed out to them
by the yard, at SO much per yard.
They wanted to manage their religious
business themselves. And they made
their kick good. George Washington
was kicker. He objected to taxation
without representation, and with the
ragged soldiers Of the Continental
army he made his kick good. Long
before that the English people kicked
on being shut up in Jail without a
hearing and they kicked until King
John was obliged to yield the Magma
Charta. The writ Of habeas corpus
and trial by jury were the result of
kicks-vigorous. well-planted kicks at
the vested interests Of those days. And
these are things We are all glad to
have.
In France, Rousseau kicked against
the theory that the government could
properly be conducted by classes and
~ AASeAAAS u 6PSCAdl AdtOESS DdQIOIl
kicked against the injustice of the
regime OF which the bastile and Louis
XVI were typical. The populace of
France kicked against the centuries
Of oppression which had ground them
under foot and they emphasized their
kick with the mob and the guiliotine.
As a nation France kicked against
the concert Of nations which combined
to stamp out the theory OF a peoples
government, and under the genius OF
Napoleon the nation made good its
kick against the greatest armies and
monarchs of all the then known civil
lied world. And the institution OF
popular government and individual
liberty were perpetuated.
And this is growth. This Is prog
ress. 1t is the forming Of the new and
live wood under the dead bark, which
scales of and becomes an empty shell
Of what was. The principle of life is
the principle of protest 1t is the ac-
tivity Of ambition and Of effort
So don't be down on the kicker mere
ly because he kicks.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30

Perhaps we uns will admit that
there is something to the frequent
criticism of foreigners to the effect
that we are novices in the matter of
art. Some of the big critics of the
country are now admitting that they
and their clients, the big art collec-
tors. have been oleverly duped by a
widely known art dealer who has
Systematically co-operated with a
painter in marketing limitations of the
works of masters of the brush as be-
ing originals and getting fancy prices
for these spurious paintings.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30
A VANDERBILT TRIUMPH.

One of the great events of the
twentieth century is fttingly chron-
icled in recent cable dispatches. It
is nothing less than the triumph of
Alfred Gwynne Vanderbilt as the
driver of stage coach between Lon
don and Brighton. Even the death of
the late Prime Minister, Sir Henry
mpbell-Bannerman was forgotten
In the enthusiasm which greeted a
Vanderbilt in a profession once grac-
ed by the elder Weller and "Yuba
Bill"
Mark Twain going down to Oxford
to receive his doctors degree had only
success d'estime compared to the
grand success of the heir of the house
triumphal progress.
The traffic on Piccadilly, the fash
ionable thoroughfare of London, was
held up by an enormous crowd. At
Putney Heath, the first stage of the
journey. the people came on horse
back, afoot, IN automobiles, in car
riages, on bicycles, to see the great
wonder, an American multi-million-
aire really and truly driving q stage
coach. Not since Tom Thumb visited
the Queen at Windsor has any Ameri-
can created such excitement among
the English people. At Reigate the
whole town turned out. One enthu-
| siastic Briton shouted out to Mr..
Vanderbilt: "Grand sir, 1 never saw
a prettier team Mr.. Vanderbilt, at
this stage of his really royal progress
was overcome with emotion. He said
to one of his guests: "It is just amaz-
ing. I can not understand it, Moth
ing more simple of explanation. II
isn't every day that an American null
ti-millionaire goes all the way to Eng
land to drive a stage coach.
| At Brighton thousands were massed
on the sidewalks and every window
was full Of spectators. Hats and hand
kerchiefs were waved and there was
loud cheering. The scene recalled the
great days of Brighton, when the
first gentleman of Europe" held his
court in the famous yellow pavilion
Asked If he had any message tc
transmit to the American people, Mr.
Vanderbilt replied: To-day has beer
one of the greatest days of my life"
All sorts of American celebrities
from Washington Irving to John L
Sullivan, have descended upon tn,
British Isles. each epitomizing in hi
own person some achievement of th'
national genius from literature t,
prize fighting. Mr.. Vanderbilt as
coachdriver has eclipsed them all
What is the explanation of this phe
nomenon? Irving, Emerson, Haw
thorne, Bancroft Motley, not to men
ton Sullivan and Edna May, faile,
to create this popular enthusiasm OF
their visits to England. Can it b
that the Vanderbilt millions exercis
, upon the British imagination tn
, same fascination that they exert 1
the land of the dollar?" Or is
, really Mr.. Vanderbilt's proficiency a
5 a whip? Whatever it is, Mr.. Wander
4 bilt, unlike most heirs to great for
: tunes, has discovered early in life hi
= true vocation. aNture cut him OF
S for a coachman. And it is sma
wonder that his cultured and refine
young wife wishes to divorce him.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30
SCOTS GOOD IDEA.

Congressman Scott, chairman of the
congressional committee on agricul-
ture, suggests that the immense store
mouse o! information, acquired through
the work OF the experiment stations Of
the country, be unlocked to the people
IN a more practical way than through
the medium of bulletins. He wants the
farmers to plant acre plots for demon
strattons concerning known crop facts
OF value to them and their neighbors.
Inc plots to be under the supervision
OF experts from the department of ag-
riculture in Washington. Congress-
man Scott Is a bit inconsistent in that
he has just defeated a bill providing
for experimental work in engineering
on the ground that educational work
was function of the state, and in his
plan outlined, he not only goes farther
than the government has done in aid
ing experimental work in agriculture
but proposes to undertake the work Of
educating the farmer at the cost of
the general government. Last weeks
Mail and Breeze contained a criticism
OF Mr.. Scott's plan by Edwin Snyder.
under the impression that it provided
for experimental farms in place Of
demonstrations. and Mr.. Snyder
thought that experimental work should
be done by experts, and truly, too. But
Mr.. Scott's idea is good one, capable
of an immense amount of good at a
very small cost, If handled through the
agricultural colleges. If handled
through Washington, there would be
need of large staff Of supervisors,
with heavy expenses because of the dis
tance travelled and a minimum Of re-
suit because the staff would not be in
close touch with state crop needs and
people. Handled through a college, the
regular staff could supervise the work
at the cost of travelling expenses and
by reason Of = greater familiarity with
needs, local crop conditions and ac-
quaintance with the people through
farmers Institutes, could accomplish
more in a year than Washington could
in two and for half the money cost
Anthony Republican.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30

City Man Ito Villager)-Wouldn't 1t
open your eyes If you were to look
across at that lot there and see one OF
onr sXysHrapsrs ss.s n,s,a ,es a
have twenty head OF cattle grain
there.-Bohemian.
Il started to propose to Miss Hoam-
said as To might ddnt Gss nSe Rep
you out?'' asked Dick. mo. but her
father did; that's why I lost my cour-
age."-Philadelphia Press.
HE doesn't think much of society.
He calls It Goldfish aristocracy." Per
haps he hasn't been invited to its en-
tertainments." "Oh. yes. he has"
"And he declined?" Yes. He said he
wouldn't go to goldfish bal.s."-Nash-
Mother (surprised)-Why, Johnny, how
did you happen to get the merit card for
Small Johnny-It was like this. mamma,
Harry Jones won it and told him If he
didn't give it to me I'd punch him.-The
Janice--Do you know, Horatio. dat ev..
stg Horatio 1ef ne1 ithoushtsaliy)weIl, % s I'll sell
my chance for ten cents.-Sacred Heart
Review.
Sentinel ton guard)-Halt! Who comes
there?
Colonel-Fool!
Sentinel-Advance fool, and give the
countersign.-Comic Cuts.
Yes" said the typhoid germ, tits
a funny thing about rne." Whats
that ~ asked the grip microbe. why,
do my best flghting when I'm down."
Catholic Standard and Times.
whats the best way to save mon
ey?' asked the thrifty youth. Cult
reading the racifsg news AMI the mar
Benedict doh't sa sss why you doa't
get married. TSocan 1--we as cheaply
as one. Batchell(r -Ycs, they may live
travagantly A. one. Philadelphia
| Press.
Talk about : fetreating Jaw"
with your wife"-washington Herald.
| Mr.. Henpeck-I wish had been born
nobleman. Mr.. Henderson-Why? ?
Mr.. Henpeck-Just think what cinch
it would be to have your mother-in-
natl Commercial Tribune.
1--WE men are very considerate Of
the gentler SEX" remarked Mr.. Stubb.
| why, we can't Dear 10 see woman
standing up in a street car" II sup
pose that is why you always hide your
| face with a newspaper, responded
Mrs Smith, with sly wink at the par
| rot.-Chicago News.
Someone has written a play enti-
tied The Girl Who Has Everything
"Well?" wonder what it's aboutf''
Sounds like it might be about the
hired girl and her numerous ailments"
| Washington Herald.
/ He OWNED her purpose. Before she
could ask him to be hers he had slipped
through the open window and was on MS
| Way to the docks, whence the foreign
| bound vessels sail. I'll see you later,
he half-apologetically called back. -Four
| wears later" she hissed as he faded away
away in the darkness. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30

goes to show that he was not a lovely
character. and Bill proves that he was
no coward, while old BIZ makes it
definite and certain that he was well
beloved. and proves that he was effec-
tive, impulsive and kind" Mr.. White
has been familiarly known in Kansas
for years as "Old Bilr' White, and II
it were not for the fact that he is
such a modest man he might well
have written these self same words
about himself for they characterize
him perfectly.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30

The Twentieth Century has started
record for itself as the age of monu-
of as though 1t is going to make a
mental disasters. 1t seems that more
frightful calamities and catastrophes
have happened during the last seven
or eight years than ever before. with
the exception. Of course, of great wars.
And during the last IL months the
rapidity with which terrible events
have followed each other has been
startling. Right on the heels OF the
Chelsea Ore came the death-deahns
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR

IFrom the New York Press
It's prudent finance to trust a man
till you can get the money out of him.
A very good thing to improve a
girls complexion is to feel her garter
slipping down.
What makes an open-work shirt
waist so interesting Is 1t Is supposed
to do what you can see 1t doesn't
Most people are so absorbed in try
ing to save the pennies that they
can't see where they waste the
pounds.
A woman can locate her figure any
where between her knees and her
shoulder blades. according to the
stays that are In style.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30
FRON OTHER PENS
4 LESSON IN JOURNALISM.

It is announced that arrangements
have been made for the publication
by the Yale students of daily newspa-
per, up-to-date, nonpartisan and all
the rest, to be edited and made up on
the campus, and give the boys the real
thing, handed out by their own asso-
ciates. A stock company has been
organized to back it and incidentally to
about a special school of journalism at
Yale? Haven't they got it right in
sight? Horace Greeley years ago re-
marked that the way to resume was to
resume. Similarly it stands that the
way to learn journalism Is to start a
paper. It teaches a lot, opening up,
indeed, the entire business course to
which there has recently been refer
ence.
Evidently the daily papers of New
Haven are not supposed to give live,
up-to-date nonpartisan accounts of
current events. They have failed and
so the boys at the university will meet
the longfelt want and show how the
trick is turned. It is really very SIM
pie. Just get the news and lint it.
You don't really know just how easy
1t is until you try; then you get your
lesson in Journalism" We have only
one suggestion to make to the enter
prising young men who are going to
put their fathers money into this sure
thing; that is, that they have the law
student who draws up their corporate
papers inquire how to do it in a way
| that will make sure the stock is non
assessable and of limited liability. That
| may be Of considerable importance tc
those who subscribe.-Hartford Cour-
ant.
| MAKING SCHOOL ATTRACTIVE.
President Eliot said nothing more
worthy of consideration In the course
of his notable series Of addresses IL
| 1T <Io hi 70, frno ohnr
| ing up Of the grammar school curricu.
lum. 1t is undoubtedly true that rou'
| tine too much governs the public In
struction Of the young, and that while
| our high schools are models OF the1l
kind, the primary schools have beer
devoted to the Spartan achievement o
the "necessaries"
We have greatly reduced the area o
mere routine. But without for a mo
ment losing sight Of the Importance o
discipline, of the educative value>of tn
studies which must be grappled witt
and mastered by sheer will. it Is plail
that, taking our grammar school worl
of today, there is great room for i'm
provement in the direction Of thos
methods and topics which touch tn
imagination Of the youth and awakel
his interest In the relation OF his stu
dies to his real self and to the real LII
about him.
President Eliot furthermore empha
sizes the social importance Of the poin
he makes. The high schools claim thei
, | thousands, the grammar schools thei
tens and hundreds of thousands 1t
| of vital interest to the republic that TIL
: work of the grammar schools shoul
| be vitaliZed and made effective and pei
i manent: that the children should b
tempted to remain as long as possibl
in school; that the tendency to go
t work as soon as legal restrictions al
, OF should be checked.-Chicago TIL
une.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30

Frederick Townsend Martin, some-
thing of a social light in New York,
states that the conditions in high So
ciety there are generally unsatisfac-
tory and he comes forward with the
sensible suggestion that the way to
better them is for the society folks
to behave themselves. We call Mr..
Martin something of a brave man
who will probably be ostracized by his
friends
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30
William Howard Taft, the leadint

William Howard Taft the leading
candidate for the Republican presi-
Dental nomination, used to be IA
miliarly referred to by his intimates
as "Old Bilp' Taft. Writing of this in
the forthcoming numbers of the
American magazine, william Allen
White. the Emporia editor, says:
''The elimination Of william signifies
that he was not a prig; the elimina-
ton of Willie indicates that he was
not q sissy; the elimination of win
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-30

Joseph L. Bristow favors the val
uation of the railroad properties of
the country by the commerce com
mission for the purpose of establish
ing proper basis for the fixing of
equitable rates. This plan is favored
by La Toilette and other advanced
publicists. It's a good one, but the
task 1t imposes is decidedly monu-
mental