davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-10-17

Ream Funeral Sunday.
Avery Oct. l6.-(SpeciaD-The fu-
neral Of Ben Ream will be neld at
Beacon Sunday afternoon at / o'clock
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
FIXING THE RESPONSIBILITY.

John Sharp Williams, in res ponse to
the newspaper publishers telegram
on print paper duty. put the whole
situation in nutshell when he wired
back that if the publishers would get
Speaker Cannon to recognize. Williams
or any other member to make a mo-
ton, the house would vote to take the
and pass it over their heads.
Nice situation, isn't it? The house
is ready to vote for the removal of the
duty, but one man. the speaker, re-
such a motion as would permit a vote.
That is to say, the arbitrary will of
one man prevents justice to one of the
largest industries in the nation, al
though majority of the house stands
ready to grant justice.
The gist of this condition is not alone
in the favor shown the paper trust
by the speaker, nor in the demonstra-
ton it affords to the extent to which
legislative power is conferred in one
mans hands: il is a striking example
of the wrongs possible under tariff
drawn for and by the trusts, and it
promises to focus public attention on
the tariff evil as the one great issue of
the approaching presidential cam
paign.
With this simple object lesson be-
fore them the people cannot well es-
cape the conviction that conditions are
radically wrong with the tariff Wher-
ever it affects the predatory trusts;
and that the rules of congress need
revision when it is possible for one
man to defeat the will of the majority
by the simple expedient of refusing to
see a member who has an undesirable
motion TO make.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
ON THE SAFE SIDE.
81. Leuis Republic.l


Henry A. Turner is a commercial trav-
eler whose work takes him up and down
the state of Texas. In Fort Worth re
Gently he needed a hat so he proceeded
to one of the citys grandest mems furn-
ishing stores and stated the fact. The
Obliging young clerk who waited upon
him. after the purchase had been made.
proudly announced that his house had
the only machine in town for cutting in
itials in the leather bands of head cover
ings and asked if Turner would ike TO
have his chapeau marked
What initials?' inquired the merchant
prince-to-be. swelling out his chest.
well, let me see, said the reflective
Turner, and after further elaboration an
nounced his choice as III. A. T."
II. A T.. ~ gasped the astonished clerk.
yes, H. A T.; that'H be enough"
So the hat was marked. and. putting il
on. the drummer started out of the store.
The myStified clerks curiosity got the
better of him before the customer had
reached the street, and, hurrying up. he
asked pardon. and said he would like to
know the reason for those letters. add
ing;
HWhy. anybody can see it's a hatr'
Yes. | know" said Turner. without a
smile but you see I'm afraid I'll get up
some morning and think it's shirt or one
of my socks.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
THE DESIRE TO REFORM.
(NEashingtnn So

" aSilltiS ton StGff
Frederick Van Eeden. the Dutch poet
and economist. discussed poverty at a tea
in New York.
There is enough in the world for US
all said Mr. Van Eeden No one would
freeze. no one would starYe to death, II
We really desired TO reform our ecOnom-
les, if We really desired to be just and
fair"
He smiled sadly
We say we want reform he said
Well. we want il about as badly is a
Dutch student ! knew in my youth.
This students chum said to him.
Look here. m tired of the life I've
been leading for the past two years I'm
going to reform. This morning / shall ct
tend lecture
My student. a confirmed ldIeT. yaWn-
ed put down his pipe and answered:
Yes ii would be splendid to reform.
And yet the beer is very good here this
morning, isn't it, I tell YOU what Wei!
do. Wen let my dog Wilhelm decide
whether we reform or not
Wilhelm, decided How will ne do it,
Oh. IL is very simple Well tell the
waiter to bring a piece of sausage. Wen
set the sausage before Wilhelm. and [
he eats it we stay where we are If he
doesn't |, We reform ana go 10 lectures
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26

him a most difficult task. He takes
office depending for support upon a
coalition of forces which lack cohesion
on important questions Of policy; the
labor members are attached TO him
solely by the hope of carrying out their
program; the Irish members are not in
sympathy with him, and have none of
the trust in him which Campbell Ban
herman had inspired; the more con-
sentative of the old-line liberals have
been startled by the radical measures
put forward. and the Rosebery i'm
perialists have adopted a policy of
aloofness which makes their support of
questionable value.
Altogether, it seems probable that the
Asquith ministry will have to face a
diminishing majority that will before
long force an appeal to the people on
the issues outlined in the parliament
tary program.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
FORAKER VERSUS TAFT.
lMashington Star


Senator Foraker doesn't like Secretary
The Fire Alarm had visitor recently
from Columbus His name was Kyle.
and he frankly admitted TO the senator
that he favored the war secretary for
president. But" he added. Il am not
doing anything toward assisting him in
his CANDIDACY
You are rich man and a good speak
err answered Mr.. Foraker. With these
accomplishments. haven't you as yet been
drafted by the Taft army?''
mo, / haven't talked much about my
preference-maybe Taft doesn't know -
said Mr.. Kyle.
You remind me of a time | went to
circus when l was quite a youth. "
Senator Foraker said. There were some
monkeys and balloons and oTang-outangs
in cages. A negro slave passed along.
Never before in his life had he seen
such animals. For some minutes he stood
before them, saluting them and saying.
HOwdy, hOwdy. hOwdy' but there was
no reply. Finally the slave walked away
Soon he was back again. for the monkey
cages had possessed him with a strange
fascination.
"'Howdy, he said again to the biggest
one. There was 10 reply. Then he turned
away again. AS he was leaving he said:
OATS all right. Keep yOu-alls mOuf
shut cause eff de viii folks hear you
dey'H put you to pickin' cotton
IF you want to help Taft in the field -
concluded the Ohioan, Just go around
TO his headquarters and talk as you have
talked to me. They will corral you
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
cERIoUS DEFEAT FOR LIBERALS

Winston Churchilrs defeat for re-
election from the northwest division OF
Manchester is heavy blow to the new
liberal ministry. and is likely to affect
other bye-elections soon to come.
Churchill has just been appointed pres
ident of the board of trade in the AS
quith- cabinet and, following English
precedent. has to resign and stand for
reelection. He chose his old constit-
uency which he carried by a comforta-
BILE, though not large, majority, and
was opposed by JOHNSON Hicks, the
unionist, whom he defeated beore. The
poll showed the unionists had carried
the day by a plurality Of 429. after one
of the fiercest political fights of recent
years.
Churchill will stand for election in
some other place. OF course. but his
Manchester overthrow was in a meas
ure a critical test of public opinion. and
an indication of the probable support
or opposition the new ministry will
have. Accepting il as such, the defeat
is a serious setback for the party in
power, and justifies to some extent the
conservative prediction that a general
election will be forced before long.
The news reports do not show wheth-
er any specific issue was involved in
the Churchill contest or not, but in any
event it must have been the occasion
for criticism of the general government
policy and particularly of what is
called its socialistic measures. The
liquor license bill, too. must have been
up for discussion, since North Man
chester is a manufacturing district
where the public houses are focal CEN
ters of political influence. and the
brewers have a big stake in such fiscal
measures as the government has pro-
posed affecting their interests.
Mx. Asquith. therefore. has before
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
MILFORD HAPPENINGS.

Milford, April 24-Solomon. COIN &
Clinton, Boston buyers. have just pur-
chased fourteen carloads Of wool from
growers here, at prices ranging from d
to 12i2 cents. The wool will be shipped
east at once.
At a meeting of the Milford town board
last evening, franchise TO furnish light
and power TO Milford was granted to the
Beaver River Power company. The fran
chlse runs fifty years, and the schedule
of prices cannot be higher than that Of
salt Lake. The city agrees not to enter
into competition with the company, but
has an option TO buy the lines at any time
at cost.
The board also adopted two license or
dinances in which emphatic measures
ness Saloon licenses were Increased from
500 to S60G per year drUmmers must pay
s. 30 per month for the privilege of visit
ing Milford and skating Kinks must pay
s. per month.
The Odd Fellows of Milford Will hold
their annual reunion next Tuesday even
ing. when Rev. Smpl1in Of Salt Lake Will
deliver an address.
While surveying the town recently
Civil Engineer Ingals found that a number
Of houses and stores lap the streets and
must be moved back. In one instance the
corner stone Of a block Was set square
in a prominent citizens front parlOr
while another was located in the middle
of tubful of suds in the washhOuse of
another resident The order OF the board
that houses must be moved from the
streets strikes nearly all houses in the
so-calleG red light district.
At the annual meeting of the Christian
Science church of Milford it was reported
that great progress has been made durns
the past year during which time the
members have built "A hall and library
building at cost Of 5000.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
THE SNAKE AND UMBRELLA
(Pittsburg Dispatch.

DiSpdtCID
Dr. Emil Reich holds that women should
do the proposing, not alone in leap year.
but all the time.
Before Dr. Reich went abroad" said
a Pittsburg club woman. he declared
at a dinner that intelligent women, if
they did not actually do the proposing.
always did the choosing, which amounted
to the same thing.
The women here. / can see. agree
with me- said DR.. Reich. looking around
the table. The men don't believe me.
They appear skeptcal as if / were tell
ing one of my large collection of snake
stories
Then he told a lot of snake stories. |
remember the last of them. 1t was about
a man who took a nap in the woods.
LAYING his umbrella on rock beside him.
After while It began to rain, and
the man awoke He was all wet. He
took hold of his umbrella and opened it
hurriedly. IL seemed rather stiff in go
ing up. and there was a ripping, tearing
sound. Then a live blacksnake fell to
the ground. split in two from its head
to its tail
you see. it had swallowed the umbrel-
la. an but the handle. and the man did
not notice what had happened till. put
ting the umbrella up. he halved the snake
from stem TO stern
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
WAITIN, EoR A BITE.
(Ioe Cane in Nerv Ynrk EIr

doe Cane in New York SUM-
A barefoot boy ] stood upon
The little bridge of plank
Or down beneath the cottonwood
Along the shady bank.
A crooked pole within my hands.
My heart filled with delight:
My eyes asleam upon the stream,
Jest waitin' fur d bite
What though the nibbIe never came
To strip my bent PIN hook?
Twas joy enough fur me to be
Down there beside the brook
An thus | passed the happy hours,
Half hidden out of sight,
In idle dream beside the stream
While waitin' fur a bite.
The years hev come and gone since then
we fingered by the brook
Of life where trade goes rushing by
With ready line and hook.
I've stood upon the crowded bank
BY day. an then by night;
I've angled there in storm an fair.
Jest Waitin' fur a bite.
I've waited fur the fish success"
To come an bite my PIN
They come an sniff ike them of old.
An then swim off in.
Yet still I'm standin' on the bank
F'rum mOrnin until night.
An / shall stay the same old way
Until | cit a bite
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26

quired, however large. in a day. The
little city of Goldield. New, would
raise ii in an hour Salt Lakers should
have raised 1t not later than the second
day Of the canvass for funds The Her.
aid has not lost confidence in the patri-
otism and public spirit of this people.
The need is pressing. the necessity for
prompt action is most apparent.
Do not let tomorrow go by without
seeing that your name is on the list,
anybody's list, for as large a sum as
you can possibly spare
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
A QUALIFIED NEGRO VOTER.
washington Herald.l

Senator John II. Bankhead of Alabama
who succeeded John Tyler Morgan upon
the latter's death last summer. bears a
close resemblance to the busts of William
Shakespeare. except that his face lacks
the mustache and whiskers that adGrn
the classic features of the Bard of Avon.
However the new Alabama senator
frankly admits that he has no poetical
talent; albeit. he is known throughout
the southland as a keen and TeSOurceful
lawyer. incidentally, ne enjoys a good
story and knows how to tell one.
A few years ago the state of Alabama
adopted a new constitution. which was. in
plain English, designed To restrict" if
not to eliminate. the cOlored vote. one Of
the requisites of the new constitution is
ability on the part of the applicant for
registration as voter to read and inter
pref any part of that document to the
satisfaction of the registration officials.
MI Bankhead was in Alabama right
after the adoption of the new constitution.
and relates an incident that came under
his observation. He sauntered up TO a
registration booth and found the officials
wrestling with cOlOred man Of more
than usual intelligence One of the Off
Gals came over to where Mr.. Bankhead
was standing, evidently perturbed.
This is a very smart negro he Whis-
pered. He has answered correctly every
question we can think of. Can't you sug-
gest something"
ASK him to explain a writ of certiO-
rari." said Mr. Bankhead. with a grim
smile
This was done. The negro scratched his
head for a moment.
- Deed, boss" he said. Il reckon YOU Sc
done got me l don't know what dat is,
'cept it is something to keep a niger
from vOtin'."
All hands Joined in the laughter that
ensued. and it was finally decided that the
applicant was qualified TO register as a
voter
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
Druehl &. Franken's
The Official Call for Demo-
cratic State Convention.
June ~, 1908.

PURSUANT TO THE CALL OF THE
Democratic national committee, a Demo
cratic state convention is hereby called
to meet at the Grand theatre. Salt Lake
City. Friday the 18th day Of June next
at II o'clock a. m, for the purpose 90
electing six delegates ana six alternates
to the Democratic national convention.
which will meet in Denver on the 1th
day of July. 1908. for the nomination or
candidates for president and vice prcs.-
dent, respectively, of the United states.
and for the transaction Of any other
necessary business.
This convention will be composed Of
IA delegates, appOrtioned as follows:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
BRYAN coNOENsEs SOLOMON.
columbia State.

William Jennings Bryan has tried his
hand at condensing one OF the proverbs
of Solomon In speech before the leg
islature of Oklahoma he said:
'-One proverb l have often quoted is
The wise man forseeth the evil and hid
eth himself, but the foolish pass on and
are punished 1t is great truth. and
beautifully expressed, but | found ii did
not stick in peoples minds, and so |
condensed it, and il is the only effort |
have ever made 10 improve upon pro-
verb, and this is not an Improvement; it
Is merely a condensation. 1t is not as
beautiful as Solomon's proverb. but it is
more easily remembered. 1t means the
same thing in condensed form: The
wise man gets the idea into his head the
foolish man gets it in The neck
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
KNEW HE WAS A YANKEE.

tWasnInSIOn otar-I
once upon a time Supreme Justice Har-
Ian was travelling in Virginia He stopped
at a newly constructed country hotel. The
walls of his room had been freshly kali
cimined. They shone white as the lamp
was lit But near the head Of the bed
was a stain. Some one had thrown
quid of tobacco on it and it had stuck
IF had that Yankee here who stained
that wall I would wiring his neck ' said
the judge. in apparent anger.
We'll. how do you know a Yankee did
the trick2' asked a friend
How do ] know it was a Yankee?'-
exclaimed the kentuckian. why. can't
you see it is fine cut?'
No one in the south chews that kind
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
A QUESTION FOR THE COURTS.
lWashington StarI

w dSUIUBIOU oIdI-I
Andrew Carnegie. at the Economic clubs
recent dinner at the Hotel Astor in New
York. said that the economic system OF
the United States was the worst in the
world.
we are as slow in that line" said Mr.
Carnegie at the end Of his speech, ''as a
train ] used to take to Allegheny
"On this train, one day, an old man
with a white beard handed the conductor
a half ticket
Here this won't do. you know said
the conductor. This is a child's ticket
Well. said the old man. i was a
child when this train started "
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
SPRING I'M THE VALLEY.

Sapphire. the Dead Sea as the skies.
And Ger the brown, fresh furrowed
earth
The white winged seagul, screaming,
flies.
The sego-lily wakes to beauteOus birth
The Wales with blossoms girdled deep.
Mantled with verduTe are hillsdes steep
From Ice Kings thrall the mountain rivu-
let
Is freed; and in the grassy dells ap-
pear
The sweet anemOne and golden violet
With budding oak and willow whisper
ing near,
While nesting birds do gaily sing
The joyous coming of the spring.
JESSIE NJ. ROBINSON.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
The Galveston Plan in Action
What Government by Commission Is and What 1t Has Done
for City Efficiency.

| venture to suggest that there are two
things to be done of vital Importance. both
OF which require the highest degree OF
intelligence. One is that for the solution
OF the complicated questions that are now
before. US, government should be simpii-
fled in the highest degree And TO sim
plIfy is the function of learning The
other is that responsibility shall be fixed,
so that the people may know whom to
hold responsible for failures to produce
good government. The fixing of respon-
sibility is matter for the highest intel
ligence and courage-Secretary Elihu
/ Root at Harvard University.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
THE POLITICAL MOTHER eoosE
CNew York TimesD

(New York Times.)
There was a man in Washington
Who was so wondrous wise
He Jumped into message bush
And used up all his rs,
And when he saw his rs were out,
With all his energies
He Jumped into another bush
And cornered ali the mes.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
NOT ALL FROM FRANCE.
philadelphia Press.)

How did you enjoy the opera ?" he
asked
ooh, it was Just splendid! she replied.
But il was all French. wasn't it2'
''Ohi MOI OF course some of the hand
sonnesr ones were Enthusiastically Partisan
but there were quite a number OF pretty
gowns which were undoubtedly made
here"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
OBJECTED TO THE DESCRIPTION
lDetrolt Free Press-

who was that strange woman | saw
YOU walking with this afternoon de-
randed his wife Indignantly
MY dear. your description is not ex-
pIicit - replied her husband tactfulIv. al
cannot tell. All women. you know, are
strange"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
HOPE.
Opniladelphia Inquirer. }

,
Neigh bor-And what did the doctor say
Old Man'E said: mo more medicine
but if We take n little walk of lnarHin'
on the common and get the air, mebbe
YOU'LL live to be a oXygenarian.'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
County.

The chairmen of the several counties
are requested 10 make the necessary
arrangements for the election or delegates
TO this state convention and TO forward
at the earliest possible date to the sec
retary of the state committee the names
and addresses of the delegates chosen
l. X. MARTINEAU. Chairman.
]. +. CLARK, Secretary.
April 18th 1908
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
Like a Directors Meeting.

The city charter requires that the
board shall meet i'm regular session al
least once a week. These meetings take
place every Thursday afternoon at
O'Clock. These meetings are conducted
in a dignified, businesslike manner. and
are free from wrangling, disputes and
confusion. The commissioners sit
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
LAST ECHOES OF THE
SPRING POEM CONTEST.

To The Salt Lake Herald and Judges IN
Spring Poem Contest:
Kind Sirs, yours was gracious deed
today!
sayi
I've never dared to tempt the "Fates"
before
Henceforth methinks, I'll hesitate no
more,
But. hope-inspired. and eager, grasp my
pen
To WOO the dear responsive muse"
again.
Approximately yours,
IVAN ST. ORME PULVER.
90 L street, Salt Lake.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26

Salt Lake Herald:
If you will refer to the original type
written copy of the poem, which you
awarded second prize in your recent con-
test, YOU will find that there are several
errors of which | am not guilty. especi-
aIly the one of causing nesting birds
TO sing Therefore, if it is possible to
give space to a correct version, you will
greatly Oblige. Respectfully yours,
JESSIE NJ. ROBINSON.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
FIRST MAN KILLED IN WAR.

To The Salt Lake Herald:
Who was the first American to be killed
III INC Ni'''''-''' INQUIRER.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26

Ans.-Ensign Worth Bagley of the tor
pedo boat Winslow off Cardenas mar
Dor. May II, 1898.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26
WEATHER FOR SALT LAKE.
THE METALS,

Silver, 531zc per ounce
Copper (cathodes), 70 9-16c per pound.
Lead. 81 per 100 pounds.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-08
FLEET AL READY FOR
TRIP THROUGH STRAIT
Weighed Anchor Late Last Night and
Rounded Cape Forward at
Daybreak.
py Associated Press.l

~ MA ARENAS, STRAIT OF
MAGELLAN HI. Preparations
aboard tho bit.lcships and tho tor
pcdo boat dc.troycrs cf ne American
Atlnnt fleet for their voyage through
he western scotioi OF he 81 alt OF
Magellan into ito Pacific. have been
completed and all Tho vessels arc in
rea'linoss to raise their anchors whcn
the signal to proceed is given from
the flagship Connecticut late tonight.
When day breaks on Saturday they
'will have rounded Cape Forward. ihc
extreme southern point Of The Son'h
American mainland and turned thei
prows nor Invest ward for the run OF
$50 miles 10 the Pacific end of tho
strait. Officers and men today PAID
Farewell calls to their friends on
shore.
TIE best of health prevails among
he personnel Of the fleet and every
body has enjoyed the stay at Punta
| Arenas.
Rear Admiral Evans has sent a
letter to John Hicks. American min
is'ef TO Chill expressing his thanks
to the Gillian government for tho
splendid reception accorded the Am
erican fleet, and his personnel. Re-
plying to he admlrals communication
Mr.. Hicks compllmcnted Admiral
Evans for the effective condition of
the flee and the discipline of his
men.
Al the baeapet TO the Chilians
aboard the baSreshlp Minnesota. thc
speeches all We're couched In terms
of wNrm friendesin.