The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-10-14

snow hickers." Soy, how's de brakes down dat
way? De last time me an de Honyak dere,
de connie elevated us from the inside of empty
inter cactus garden four hundred and eighty
miles from grub. We walks de ties fer tree weeks.
Den we hits Alberquerque an near had tub beat
a carpet tub git grub. De ole gurrul would
had me wokn only she grubs foist, befoar she
brings out de woik tools Den | digs"
"Dere's nuttin like dat, dere, desc days. Dey
leaves de pies an eats out in de opun an de bo
wot can't freeze to wan meal an hour don't git no
soft woids from dis lulu
That animated. brilliant and engrossing roper
tore was only of several thousand of the same
variety, which comprised hobo "reminiscences told
by members of the great army of the unwashed
which assembled in convention not many months
ago at Clifford ILL.,. for the National Hobo re-
union.
Small tramps. fat tramps, tall tramps, short
tramps. red-headed ones, blondes. colored tramps
low,down tramps tramps with high personal re-
gard for their vocations, and others who were
sneaky and might be caught working were it not
for the watchfuness of their brothers, all assem-
bled In solemn conclave to worship their goddess,
Rest
These of rest-but they were not all sons
there were several daughters of rest-a paid their
respects to the for which they are fighting
in their tactless way. They, for the nine
teenth time. loyalty the associations mot
to: Work, washing and worry are weapons of the
devil and he who would knowingly Intentionally
invite the descent of his platonc majesty in that
manner. he 1t is who is true Son of Rest
Rufus, Tattered Tom, Reeking Reginald. Dinky
Dan, the best dressed 'bo" in the association:
Handout Hank, Pieface Peter, Looping Louie Walk
ing Walter. Prayed Francis Mirhful Mike Tin Can
Teddy, and all the rest of the influential brethren
of the Fraternal Order of the Unwashed were
there
The attendance large as usual There
were some missing, of course Roll call revealed
the fact that Secretary Signing Sinkers was I'M
avoidably detained by friends among the authori-
ties the Desplaines police station in Chi
cago He booked 'vag' much to the I'M
washed chagrin of President Weary Willie. who in
the course of his opening address remarked that
II was DE woist coise dat put fort on dis
susietie, tub tink dat one NV de most necessary
poissons of de order should be compelled tub miss
dis intellergen meetin."
All the old officers of the association were re-
elected the minutes of the meeting being inscribed
upon the brain of President Weary Willie until Sec.
rotary Snkers should be released froIa his sojourn
in Chicago. The members of the association the
most easily satisfied crowd on EARTH then ad.
journed This action consisted of the chief exec,.
tive dropping into sound sleep. Others did the
same.
The following day the annual games of the or.
ganzation given. There were several inno-
vations, hitherto not introduced. The long distance
snoozing contest drew out several hundred entries
and it required three days before the Judges were
able to render a decision. Wakeful Waties was
returned victor eventually, but up to the time of
writing he was still snoozng noisily utterly ignor-
ant of the honor which his happy faculty had
thrust upon him.
The handsomest hobo contest was captured by
Dinky Dan, who in little address to the slumber-
ing contestants in the longdisance sleeping CON
test, declared that in the absence of any prize the
honor alone gave him plenty of satisfaction.