davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago New.

lFrom the Chicago NeWs.1
Many are called-and more are
bluffed.
Query-"Is a poor reputation better
than none at all?"
Do you know of anything that il
harder to get than easy money!
No, Cordelia. you don't have to weas
pumps in order to play the organ.
A woman isn't necessarily an old
hen because she is set In her ways.
No. Maude, dear; the office-huntee
doesn't require cunning license.
Many a. woman marries for money
because she can't think Of any other
excuse.
Let q poet write a rich mans will
and he cares not who writes the ma
toms poems. t
Being an endless affair, q wedding
ring frequently gets one into no end
of trouble.
A small boys idea of playing safe is
to get his mother to promise not to
tell his father.
A woman IL always contrary enough
to agree with q man just when he
doesn't want her to.
Wise is the man who knows when to
turn the other cheek and when to
knock his opponent down.
What would happen If the Lord
were to follow all the advice that IL
handed to Him in prayers7
You should remove the junk from
about the old tin cans in your neigh
boris.
The average man would soon ac-
quire lot OF money II he could sell
his get-rich-quick schemes at 10 cents
each.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

Wont you believe In the sincerity Of
my penitence and forgive my III hui
mor?.''
Lippy. catching the drift Of the re-
mark, searched the girls face. His
quick perception saw In her clear eyes
the dawn Of forgiveness, long before
his employer read his answer and he
plucked at Runyon's coat.
Say. boss" he shrilled, It'll go out
an get me lunch,' and as he departed
he innocently slipped the spring latch,
all else than themselves, should not be
disturbed by the intrusion of book
agents or peddlers.
1t was an hour before he showed up
again, and Runyon was working fever
ishly at his desk, while Miss Breval sat
by the window enjoying the panorama
of the city spread before her gaze.
Runyon handed him letter.
Take that to this address, he said
new typewriter. When she comes give
her these specifications to copy. 1 shall
not be here when you get back. !
shall not be back until tomorrow"
I'm sorry I didn't get her tn first
time" said Lippy hypocritically.
TITS all right assured Runyon as
he added q five dollar bill to the en-
velope he still held out. ''You improve
ed upon instructions and we-Miss
Breval and myself-are very much
obliged
Don't menshun It," muttered Lippy
backing away, for Miss Breval was
that smile abashed the boys assurance
for the first time in his eventful young
life.-(C copyrighted, 1908, by Associated
Literary PreSS.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

[F'rom the Philadelphia Record
No man is a knave or fool until he
Is found out.
The man who can talk to himself
while shaving doesn't miss the barber.
The egotist is fond of capita. rs, bu.
he can't always capitalize them.
The easiest people to fiatter are those
who flatter themselves that they can't
be flattered.
Many a girl who has been told that
she was worth her weight in gold gets
terribly thin after she has married.
"Alps fair in love and war" quoted
the Wise Guy. YES" agreed the Sim
pie Mug, especially smokeless pow
der"
Hoax-'I see the pure food people are
after the honey-makers." Jcax-"Ah.
I see. A case of to bee or not to bee.''
Blobbs--"Closefist says he believes In
taking things as they come" Slobbs-
Yes, but he hates to part with them
as they CO."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
HYHlWKER .JO7:y

County Treasurer A. L. Cable, who
is suffering from rheumatism, denies
that he will ask Congressman Miller
to secure him a special pension
Madison Spirit.
Twenty-Five men have enlisted in
the army from Parsons and the
Wichita Eagle notes that man is
willing to do almost anything to get
away from Parsons.
In the forthcoming crop report Sec
rotary Cobufn will also have the
pleasure of announcing that Thomas
Corn is a candidate for clerk of the
court in Linn county.
Everything is so harmonious be-
tween the town people and the far
mers at Pleasanton that the CONNER
cia1 club has agreed to hold its meet
ings only on moonlight nights SO the
farmers can attend.
The Havensviile Review leaves its
readers to guess what the cemetery
really does look like now. 1t says:
Pursuant to call over forty men and
several woman and boys met at the
cemetery last Friday, and through
their efforts the cemetery does not
look the same place."
This old story has been revived by
the Kansas newspapers: "Bill Jones;
country storekeeper in the short
grass district, went to Kansas City
last week to buy a stock of goods.
The goods were shipped Immediately
and reached home before he did.
When the boxes were delivered at his
store by the drayman, his wife hap
pened to look at the largest; she ut
tered a loud cry and called for a
hammer. A neighbor, hearing the
screams, rushed to her assistance,
asking the cause of the trouble. The
wife, pale and faint, pointed to an
inscription on the box which read as
follows: Bill inside.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Something to worry about seems to
be the universal desire.
X X
A woman may like to have the last
word but she is mighty reluctant
about reaching it.
r \
Women ought to be glad over the
fact that no man ever thoroughly I'M
derstood one of them.
r 4
A genius is generally man, who,
as a boy, the neighbors said would
never amount to anything.
X x X
The people who take things as they
come are the ones who most hate to
part with them as they go.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
GLOBE SIGHTS.

LFrom the Atchison Globe.1
How often you meet the men you
dislike.
Few of us give our critics the atten-
ton they deserve.
Every man who didn't run at the
first Bull rum" we heard a man say
the other day, sis there yet"
Every man excuses his impatience
in the conviction that patience is
purely feminine trait.
If a woman finds out ten things her
husband was keeping from her, she
guessed seven of them.
When boy gets too old for his
mother to wash him, his neck and
ears never get a good washing until
he falls in love.
There are many pitiful sights in the
world. One of the most pitiful is to
see a distressed mother carrying her
sick baby to a doctor.
No boy ever looks any farther into
the future than to inquire, when eat
ing his dinner, what kind of pie
comes at the end of 1t.
The Lancaster Literary society has
decided that no woman Is too honest
to deceive her husband about the
money she spends on her kin.
Don't take up a mans time in talk
Ing to him about the smartness of
i y
about the smartness Of his children.
ct hope" says a man of twenty,
that things will be better tomorrow"
II hope" he says when he is past for
tyr, chat they won't be any worse"
widow says to her second hus-
band: you have to love my children
but a widower says to his second wife.
You don't have to love my children
unless you want tor
A man will boast that his father was
rich, and that his mother was good,
| but we never saw one yet who was not
ashamed to admit it If his mother was
an equal suffragist-
One wise man states a proposition.
Another wise man says the PROPOSE
| tious Is foolish. What is the truth
Haif the time we don't know whether
we are right or wrong. although all
the time trying to do hight.
| We have noticed that when q
small boy goes into a store. he always
leaves a boy on the outside. and when
! he is detained, he will go to the door
4 two or three times, and call out: "All
right Bill; in just q minute" You
| will often see girl going down town
alone to do an errand, but you will
never see boy alone. He will start out
alone. and wind mp with four or five
boyB and dog.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR.

lFrom the New York Press.1
A mans idea Of fun wouldn't be If
It was at home.
An easy way to get girl to admit
she likes you Is for her not to.
A woman believes everything she
hears unless it sounds reasonable.
A girl likes fattery because even if
you don't mean 1t you ought to know
it's true.
There's no use being so good in this
world that It won't seem any different
when you get to heaven.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

It has been decided by the MEM
bers of Germany's reichstag that after
twenty years no other language but
German shall be used in all public
meetings in every part of the empire.
This, of course. includes the reichstag.
1t might be well for our national
legislature to limit its members to
the use of one language. Two are
now used, the polite and the impolite
The latter seems to be the prevailing
one these days in the house of repre-
sentatives. and should be placed un-
der the ban.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

Vegetarian enthusiasts are in
happy mood these days. They see the
probabilities of great increases in
their ranks. But these increases will
come perforce, as the prices for meat
have jumped to such figures that it
is now a real luxury.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

Now is the time for everybody to
make arrangements to plant some
tree or shrub on Arbor day which
falls on April 10. Nearly everyone in
the city has yard or lawn of some
sort and the planting of a tree or
shrub of some sort at least once
year will transform the city into
garden spot within a decade. It's a
beautiful city now but it can be made
M ora On
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
The Mad and Murderous Pace.

In the health department reports
for 1907 two items stand out with
unpleasant prominence, the 1921
deaths from organic heart disease
former reflects the mad driving of
the human body under the excitement
of our high-speed existence; the lat
ter is grewsome reminder of the
disregard OF Americans for their own
lives. OF the 1914 deaths by violence
only 284 were homicides and I'll
suicides.s Nearly four thousand citi-
zens, then. were slaughtered by street
cars. factory wheels, trucks, tene-
ment house fires, and other sanction
ed methods OF determination! A con-
parison of this record with that of
other large cities would surely put
New York at the very bottom Of the
list. Where else is a good-sized viii
lage obliterated by accidents every
twelvemonth New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

1911. 1t is said that the reason he is
going to quit is because he is fast
losing his grip on the senate and his
ire has been aroused by the clamor
of young blood" to smash the GUS
toms Of the august body. It's about
time that a good many of these GUS
toms were smashed,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

Think of growing potatoes and
corn on land that is worth a million
dollars an acre. That's what they
are going to do in New York city.
The soil of Central Park, the great
pleasure ground in the heart of the
metropolis, needs regeneration. 1t
would cost two or three million dol
lars to re-soil it so the park commits
sioners are going to rejuvenate it by
growing potatoes and corn on it for
two or three seasons.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

If there is one real optimist in this
country it is William Jennings Bryan.
He declared at Denver the other day
that the Democratic party will enter
the campaign with the utmost con-
fidence. 1t is evident that he has not
been talking this matter over with GER
tain of the big Democrats in the east.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

Mrs. Evelyn Nesbit Thaw, who has
finally filed a suit for the annulment
of her marriage to the notorious Har-
ry, on the ground that he was insane
at the time it was consummated, is
about to sail for Europe. Few people
in this country wifi care If she never
comes back
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

Nearly $4,000 babies were born in
New York city during the past three
months. And as these children grow
up a great may of them of course,
will come west where there is plenty
of room for them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

1t is the opinion of some folks that
IL the United States supreme court
had had the opportunity it probably
would have declared unconstitutional
Newton's law of gravitation.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

In the contemplation of the govern
ment ownership of railroads it is
rather narrowing to think how some
of the conductors would act with the
whole army and navy of the United
States behind them. IL.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

That operation in Chicago where
some surgeons took out mans heart,
put three stitches in a wound in it
and then replaced it, suggests the
thought that there are many fractur-
ed and wounded hearts which are
not susceptible to surgical operations.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

Congressman Hobson declares that
IL the government does not build up
an immense navy it will ultimately
have a war with the yellow races. But
just because Mr.. Hobson has an idea
of this sort that does not make it a
certainty
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

Lawrence ministers are not the only
individuals to find the Merry Widow
hats to be denominations, but it must
be confessed that they have been the
first to be brave enough to express
their opinions to this effect.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal is q member % the
Associated Press and receives the fuii DAY
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news Is received In The State Jour.
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
xAMSAS COMMENT
DON'T BE AInAEER

DON'T BE Al LOAFER.
me death OF James Kane, the boy
desperate, in Chicago, at the hands
OF a policeman the other night. is not
Is probably better dead: better for
himself, and society at large. But It
may serve to illustrate the utter folly
OF criminal Hfe, to other boys who
may, from one reason or another, be
inclined to follow a worthless career.
Three robberies in a single night was
MS latest exploit, and anyone of them
would have meant a long term in
prison. had he lived. Instead, he was
snot IKE pig by a policeman. Not
good as the alternative. And he was
only IL. Just the age when a boy has
about everything before him, and
good opportunity in this country to
work II out to suit himself if he will
only observe few simple rules of
good behavior, and honesty, and in
dustry, and perseverance. It is so easy
Tor boy to drift of on the wrong
course; SO easy to choose the wrong
habits and wrong associates, with the
idea that he Is young, and must SOW
his wild oats. It isn't a long leap
from carousing to something worse; to
trying 70 gain money by dishonest and
disreputable means. And when that
stage or the story is reached, 1t Is easy
to write the finishing chapter. The
scene lies In courts, and prisons, and
cheap lodging houses, and is illustrated
with views from the rogue's gallery
NOT very pretty story, to be sure, but
as realistic as it is common. But while
we said this course is easy at the
start, and the ending hard, let US add
that the opposite course is still easier
to begin, and grows better with years.
Thousands of successful men will tell
you this; men who used to be boys.
with no capital but their health. and
strength, and youth. Those are enough.
and when properly directed, the end
Of their possibilities has never been
aim to make it worth while. And doing
nothing is never worth while. Don't
be a loafer; the end is criminal, even
If you succeed in lodging the vagrancy
charge in the beginning.-Atchison
Globe.
SIMPLICITY.
The use of big words is not an evil
dence of greatness: on the contrary,
1t is an evidence Of weakness, and a
positive detriment to writer or
speaker. Carlyle was a great man
and learned man, but other men Of
his class have much more populari-
of words. Macaulay is read every
where, and immensely popular.
though 1t is possible his ideas are no
better than Carlyle's, and his learning
no greater, but he certainly has more
fame than Carlyle, and twenty read
ers to Carlyle's one. There is but one
explanation: Macaulay's style is so
simple and easy that 1t is restful to
read him, while reading Carlyle gives
one headache. The matter Of Ma
caulay's England is almost tiresome
at times, but it is written in such a
delightful way that very few sets OF
books have had an equally large sale.
People who have never read Macau-
| lays essays have a delightful treat in
store for them: those who have not
| read Carlyle, have a headache ahead
Of them.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

action Of the Commercial club indicat-
ing its readiness to contract with the
Edison company. 20 to 3, for ten years.
street lighting for $50 IL the city would
loan its poles and wires. Now what
will the council do with that: frame it
or forget It?
The city lights still burn and nunic-
pal lighting in Topeka is not q fail
ure.
City vote: 4.s17 for, 1859 against.
Commercial club. for. 20 against.
The lady, beautiful Topeka, was not
swallowed by the Edison tiger.
The council lost one grocer and cap
tured another.
The lively Second exchanges BOOM
er for a barber. 1t was a close shave
for one and collapse for the other.
But Charley Holiday will still be found
working for the pride Of his heart, his
native Topeka. There is lots Of good
work to be done outside the breast
works.
1t was a good humored and fairly
clean campaign.
The contest in several wards was
ideaEno bad blood, no vituperation-
a political fight between good men.
The 'cards were stacked at a Com
mercial club meeting, but the people
saw that there was a square deal"
yesterday and the game played fairly.
The council will meet Friday as re-
turning board and will meet again
Monday for business with the same
energetic mayor and the same work.
ing-for-Topeka council, except there
will be two new workers added to the
old force of ten experienced hands.
/ "And now" as Charley Holiday
used to say, and will continue to say.
tinue to repeat and reiterate 'for
Greater Topeka"
Superintendent Albert Patton and
Secretary F. G. Kelly, who were at the
State Journal Office last evening listen
ing to the doleful returns on the light
bonds. finally grasped the real situa-
ton and said: This is not our fu-
neral. We are connected with the To-
peka Railway company and have
nothing to do with the Edison Light
company"
Detroit, which has a wonderful and
| complete municipal lighting plant, was
! interested in our election yesterday.
| The State Journal received early this
morning this telegram from the De-
troit News: did Topeka, accept OF
reject Edison offer ?" This reply was
| wired: Topeka overwhelmingly re-
| jected the Edison offer, every precinct
| in the city voting to sustain the mu-
nicipal plant by voting bonds to renew,
enlarge and extend it. Vote stood
4,617 to 1853.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

Members of the board of education
are to be congratulated for the prog
ress they are making in adopting
plans to make the school buildings
of the city as safe as possible.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

Experts announce that the time to
fight the dandelions has arrived. So
let everybody who has an interest in
q lawn get busy digging up these pes
tiferous weeds.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08

Nelson w. A1drich, who has been
boss of the United States senate for
dozen years, is making arrangements
to retire from public life at the ex-
pirat1on of his present term In March,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
MoKinley's singine.

Governor Mckinley was not lnu-
sician," said Opha Moore, who was a
governor of Ohio, but he had smooth,
soft voice of musical quality and he was
fond Of the simpler hymns. Often when
we were working quietly here in the
office a low, sweet humming of a IA
miliar une-generally a Methodist
hymn-would come floating from the
governors private Office, and it was
good to Columbus Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
Reads Like IT'S True.

A Stroud farmer on route 1 has
taken out patent on an electric motor
fastened on cows back. the electricity
being generated by dynamo attached
to the cows TAIL says the Stroud in
ventor It strains the milk and hangs
up the pail and strainef; a small
phonograph accompanies the outfit,
which yeIls. "So!' when the COW
moves; If she kicks, hinged arm
catches the milk stool and lams her
over the head with it.-Lincoln County
(Okla.) Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
HIS FATHERS Pipe

Last night when pa an ma went out
sneaked into the den,
An, got pas pipe an had smoke
JUS like the grown I'D men.
l got MS 5accy jar an filled
An pulled away just like my pa,
o. was brave all right.
jus blew clouds of smoke about,
An then I made two rings:
An then understood jus why
A pipe such comfort brings.
o Gee! I had bully time,
A reg lar dandy treat:
Excep' that something made me sick
That had had eat.
I guess must have eat too much
OF apple pie an cheese:
Coz while I sat a-smokin' there,
sorter felt my knees
Went round an round an round:
The ceilin got loose from the walls
An rested on the ground.
The mantel shelf jes' danced a Jig.
The sofa was a-swing;
I tried to lie down there a while.
But couldn't catch the thing.
An then my head began to swim,
MY eyes they both got blurred;
tried to call our hired girl,
But couldn't say word.
An so lay uDon the floor.
Which rocked JUS like a boat;
I felt like was burning up,
My tongue stuck in my throat.
1 never was so sick before,
can't explain JUS why
got that way. unless, Of course,
1t was that apple pie.
My ma came home an found me there
AS sick as could bes
She saw the pipe upon the floor
An SO she said to me:
You've smoked your fathers pipe. 20
have,
It's made you sick. I'm glad
She wouldn't b'leve me when said
It was the pie we had.
Detroit Free Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-08
EDUCATING OUR CoNsuLs.

Germany and France have led the
world in special courses OF fnstruc-
ton for those who are to represent
them abroad in the diplomatic and
consular fields. There are gratifying
signs that the United States will soon
equal, II not surpass, either or both
of them. There are now 50 students
Washington university, in the nation
al capital. About one-half of them
are graduates of other colleges and
universities, and several are foreign
ers. Some are preparing for appoint
ment to the diplomatic corps, and
others are preparing for commercial
careers In connection with our for
eign trade.
other American universities are
starting similar courses. Professor
Fiske, of the University of Illinois. Is
book on international Commercial
Policies" and was formerly secretary
of the American embassy in Berlin.
He has organized four-year consul
lar course in our state university.
There are similar courses in the Uni
versity of Chicago, University of
Pennsylvania, Notre Dame university,
University of Wisconsin and the unf-
yersities Of Kansas, Nebraska and
Minnesota. The entrance Of the Unit
ed States into world politics was sig
nalixed by new impulses toward for
eign commerce. American consuls,
the world over, keep their fingers on
the commercial pulse. They need an
equipment for their work in highly
specialized technical branches OF know
ledge. The universities are merely
responsible to a new call, and an i'm
nortant one--Chicago Journal