davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
OUR DIFFICULT ENGLISH.
oooooooooooo0ooo0oc

An American who met Henryk Sien-
kiewlcz during his stay in California
many years ago has recently confded
to the public that the great Polish nov
elist has only become an admirer or
America since he left 1t. While he was
here, homesick member of an Ideal
Istic community which was a failure,
American manners and customs did not
please him, and he did not display the
usual aptitude of his countrymen In ac-
quiring the language, which he used
reluctantly and as little as possible.
On being introduced to the American,
be inquired, politely:
"How Is your heels2"
Perceiving a puzzled expression on
the countenance of his new acquaint-
ance, he, too, looked puzzled for an in
stant, then whipped a little phrase
book out of his pocket and pointed tri-
umphantly to the question, How is
your healthp
It was merely the foreigners diff
Guilty with the tn, combined with nat
ural inclination to pronounce heal In
health like heal outside 1t.
His mistake, although amusing,
could not have been so difficult to listen
to with a courteously grave face as
was that OF a Frenchman Of letters
who not long ago called upon charm
ing American lady In Paris.
She was loath to lose his call, and
decided to receive him, although she
had not yet wholly recovered from an
attack OF facial neuralgia, which still
somewhat impaired the outline Of her
usually oval visage. He was most
grateful and sympathetic.
"Ah, madame" he cried, throwing
up his hands. "The nerfs! The nerfs
Truly 1t ls the American disease! AL
ways the fat neck and the swelled
headw
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
simply Infamous.

Intimate Friend-They suspended you
from the Hot Sports Club? What had
you done?
Victim Choking with wrath Not
blank thing All they could prove against
me was that had trimmed sucker and
got his wad. just as you or any other
man would have done!
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
How's This1

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for anv
case OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
Catarrh Cure.
FL, CHENEY & CO., Toledo. o
We, the undersigned, have known f. J.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable In al business transactions
and financially able to carry out any obliHa.
ton made by his firm
WALDING, KINNAN & MARVIN.
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo O
Halls Catarrah Cure is aken Internally. act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous siiF-
faces OF the system. Testimonials sent free.
Price 75 cents per bottle Sold by all Druggists,
Take Halls Family Pills for Constipation.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Consistency 10 nefor,r i.

"Why wasn't Mrs De Smythe-Pey.
eter at the meeting to take steps to
SUI bnreSs the gambling evil In big
cities
"She couldn't come. This Is the day
her bridge whist club meets, and she's
always such winner" Baltimore
American.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Dead InvIted 20 the nnnauet.

On the accession of q new emperor
of China he goes in solemn state to
the Temple of Heaven in Peking and
formally announces to his imperial pre-.
decessors the new titles and dlgnitiea
which he has assumed. These ances.
tors are then dutifully invited to tha
banquet of conlmemoration, where seats
are duly reserved for them.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
No sign.

Slster-I know Jack is in love with
me.
Brother-What makes you think so?"
Sister-His hand trembled when he
buttoned my glove for me this mora
ing
Brother-Guess again. l was out
with him last night."-Clevelan
Leader.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
CONFEDERATION.

DO you expect people to believe the
reason you give for advancing prices?"
"That isn't the question" rejolned
Dustin Stax. ''They ought to appre-
ciate my courtesy in condescending to
give any reason at all. ."-Washington
Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
DemonstratinG IT.

"The financial stringency doesn't seem
to have affected you much" remarked
Dinguss, touching him for ten.
"No," answered Shadbolt, reluctantly
handing it over, "and il doesn't seem to
have taught me any gumption, either"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
An opinion.

Where" quoted the poetic parsor
"are the SHOWS of yesteryearT
II don't know answered Mr.. Siriu
Barker, "but it's no credit to the street
cleaning department that they aren'
lying precisely where they fell.-Wash
ington Star.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Parental N1l.intormation.

"Paw, what is guillotine?'
Its an instrument bearing some re-
semblance to a shirt collar that has been
three or four times to the laundry, Tom
my, but it is much quicker and more mer-
ciful in its operation"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Not Likely 70 BE at. Home.

Mrs. Neighbor-Aren't you going to
call on our old schoolmate who has
just moved into the next block2
Mrs. Homer--I would like to call on
her, but I don't want to meet her hus-
band.
Mrs. Neighbor-oh, there is no dam
ger Of meeting him. They have been
married nearly a year.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Omen Minded.

"Unce George, do you believe Mars 10
inhabitedW
Sometimes l do, my boy, and some
times don't. 1t depends altogether on
which one of the monthly magazines
happen to be reading at the time"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Encouraging.

Said an ambitious youth one day to
a young lady: Don't you think I'd
better dye my mustache?" caressing the
family visible progeny.
Il think If you let it alone 1t will die
ITSELF" said the young lady.-Woman'a
Home Companion.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
M, Farmer or Mr.. Merchant, De You Know What Your
Legal RlghtS Are?

We will place in your hands, on approval. the lat
est authority and guide on the subject Send post
al for our offer enabling you to examine the work
without cost or obligation to purchase. 2l5,O00
copies sold. If you satisfied with the book, we
have very interesting proposition for your con-
sideration. Pacific Dis ributing Co., No. Z Ham
cock Bldg, Semitic Washington
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
ADVICE TO VICTIMS
TELLS READERS HOW TO PROMPTLY
CURE RHEUMATISM AT HOME.
Directions to Mix Simple Preparation
and the Dose to Take-Over-
comes Kidney and Bladder
Trouble Promptly.

There is 30 much Rheumatism every.
where that the following advice by an
eminent authority, who writes for read.
ers of large Eastern daily paper, will
be highly appreciated by those who
suffer:
Get from any good pharmacy one hall
ounce Fluid Extract Dandelion, one
ounce Compound Kargon, three ounces
of Compound Syrup Sarsapar liza.
Shake these we'll in bottle and take
in teaspoonful doses after each meal
and at bedtime; also drink plenty Of
good water.
1t is claimed that there few victims
Of this dread and torturous disease who
will fail to find ready relief in this
simple home made mixture, and in
most cases permanent cure is the re-
sult.
This simple recipe is said to strength
en- and cleanse the eliminative tissues
of the Kidneys so that they can filter
and strain from the blood and system
the poisons, acids and waste matter.
which cause not only Rheumatism, but
numerous other diseases. Every man
or woman here who feels that their kid
neys are not healthy and active, or who
suffers from any urinary trouble what
ever, should not hesitate to make up
this mixture, as it is certain to do
much good, and msy save you from
much misery and suffering after while.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Metallic,

Poe was writing The Bells"
at jingles," he said, ''as if there nigh
be lot of coin in it
Cheered by the thought, he tintinnabu
lated with redoubled energy.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Something Terrible.

Something Terrible.
Tommy-Teacher, may 60 out te
sneeze?
Teacher-That is unnecessary, Tommy
You can sneeze in here without disturbing
anybody.
Tommy guess you never heard md
sueeze!
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06

The proprietor Of the store has q
greater feeling Of Joy inside him when
an unmarried man comes In to buy,
than when the man is married,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06

HOWARD e. BURToN.-Assaysr ar1 Chemist
~ Leadville, Colorado. Specimen prices: Gold
Silver, Lead, 81 Gold Silver, Zoe; Gold, 50c Zinc or
Copper, 81. Cyanide tests. Mailing envelopes and
full price list sent on application. Control and
pire work solicited. Reference; Carbonate Ma
tonal Bank.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Another Nature Story.

Another Nature story.
To the tail of the dog
They tied big log,
And patted him on the head.
Old Tray couldn't make
His narrative shake,
And the tail wagged the dog instead.
Chicago Tribune.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Herehftx.

The baby was learning to walk.
"B'ess its little heart !" exclaimed the
fond mother. ut waddles dess like its
big fat papa, doesn't it?"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06

A Great Mans Little Pleasantry.
Senator" said the correspondent, "you
capital punishment. How about that"
"Well." answered Senator Lotsmun,
with a grin, don't you think capital has
been punished about enough?"
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06

The population of men in the United
States, from statistics compiled from the
reports of the census of 1900, is 39,059,.
242. The population of women Is 81,
pa. 141.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06

Physicians In various parts of England
are complaining that the competition a
departments of hospitals is ruinously
fair.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Only One "BRoMo ouINlNE."

That is LAXATIVE BRoMo QUININE. Look
for the signature Of X. w. GROVE Used the
World over to Cure Cold in One Day. 26c.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06

EsTc st. Vitus' Dance ana all Nervous Diseases
fIS permanently cured by DIR. Kllne's Greas
Nerve Reslorer. Serd for FREE SO trial bottle aud
treatise. DIR. II. H Klile, Id. 93l Arch st. Phia,PA
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06

Mo hers win find Mrs winslows
Syrup the ST remedy 20 use for their
during the teething period.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
PILES CURED IN 6 70 "a DAYS.

PAZ0 OINTMENT Is guaranteed TO cure any
case OF Itching, Blind bleeding or PrOtruding
Piles in to Il days or money refunded. soc.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Her Record Against Her.

Mrs. Upmore Ito applicant for position
as cook )-Have you ever worked for Mrs
Highmus?
Applicant-Yis, ma Fam wan week.
Mrs. Upmore-Well, If you suited her
for as long time as that you wouldn't
suit me at ALL Good morning.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06

I had Catarrh for about Afteen
years, and no man could hGvo
been worse. I tried everything
suIted. HGa fedr the1 R began Sus s. s. s and md
could see q little improvement
from the Arst bottle, and after
taking 1t q short whilo was cured.
This was six years ago, and I am
as we'll today Rs any man. Think
CatRrrh Is a. blood disease, and
know there Ia nothing on earth
better for the blood than s. 8. 8.
Nobody thinks more of 8. s. q.
than I do. ~. MA1SoN,
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-03-06
Coming to Thiss

Coming to Thisy
First Broker-Itnw is business?
Second Broker-Improving little. I've
got good barker out in front of my
Office now.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27
EAGLES ASK SPOKANE TO
DECORATE TOMORROW

this occasion. Eagle emblems may
be used, as also may the initial
letters of the order, F. o. E., and
the letters of the motto, Liberty,
Truth, Justice and Equality.
"Inasmuch as the Eagles are
holding this convention wholly at
their own expense and have not
asked for any contributions from
our citizens, it is thought that the
above request that all citizens dec
crate with flags and colors of our
country is very modest one.
Please get out your decorations and
bunting at once and remember the
opening exercises at Elks' temple
tomorrow at O'Clock, to which the
public is invited AMI at which time
his honor, Mayor Moore, will de-
liver the keys of the city, and adj
dresses will be made by the grand
worthy president of the order, Con-
gresham Bell of California, Sen.
Bernard j. Monaghan of Philadel-
phia and Others
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27
OLD PIONEERS IN
MONEY TANCLE

DR.. Benz. F. Burch. considered
one Of Spokane's wealthy citizens,
is endeavoring to be declared a
bankrupt today before Referee j.
d. Campbell, and j. N. Glover, a
pioneer and wealthy citizen, is con-
testing the proceedings and endeav-
oring to show that DR.. Burch's OBJ
ject is to get out of paying about
$4,000 loaned him to "eat on" in
1892. The details are expected to
be brought out tomorrow after
noon.
According to Mrs. Burch's own
testimony this morning their in
come amounts to about $1,000 a
month Mrs. Burch is the daughter
of Samuel G. Havermale, one of the
original locators of Spokane. John
w. Graham is the son-in-law of the
Burches.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27
NEW YORK BEATS LONDON
ON PROPERTY VALUATI

Special Correspondence to The Press
NEW YORK, May 27.-They
have been Boosting again on the
other side, this time about the
wealth of good old Lun'non.
The last particular boast of Lon
don's greatness was made at a
dinner given in honor of w. Wag-
STATE. chairman of the assessment
committee, and for 40 years men,
Der of the city guardians
In return for the compliments
and a piece of silver plate bestowed
upon him, Wagstaffe electrified the
audience with what was considered
a remarkable statement about Lon.
don's wealth. He spoke of a sQuar.
mile of territory which had a taxa
BILE value of $50, 100000, or a CAPT
talized value of 100000, goo. The
capitalized value in the entire city.
he said. was $1,250 100000.
Il venture to say that no other
area in the world could claim such
a record" he said, proudly.
This was carried over to the
board of taxes and assessments,
and the officials there were asked
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27
ACCUSED
ON STAND

For hours this morning every en-
deavor of Deputy Prosecutor Pugh,
who Is leading the prosecution Of
Curtis Hawkenberry on charge
of numbering Perry Schultz, to en-
tangle the accused testimony In
any way, was blocked by the evil
dent clever parrying done by
Hawkenberry every time Pugh put
a question. The concensus of opin-
ion of those who have closely fol-
lowed the trial is that Hawkenberry
Is either sincerely honest in all his
statements or he is the coolest wit
ness ever heard before Judge
Huneke.
All this morning Prosecutor Pugh
tried his best to bring out some In
eliminating admission before the
jury he believed Hawkenberry was
concealing. Not once did Hawken-
berry make a break from his origin
al story The prosecutions ques-
lions dwelt with force upon the fact
that Hawkenberry, every time he
was subject to the third degree"
always referred his questioners to
"his attorney
Pugh desired to know why he did
this; If he believed he might make
some admission that would harm
his case. Hawkenberry said that
he has sense enough to know that,
seeing he has been charged with
the crime at all on flimsy evidence,
the best thing he could do, under
those circumstances, was to keep a
closed mouth. Attorney Edge, for
Hawkenberry, more than once ap.
pealed to the court for fair play. He
repeatedly objected to Pugh's state.
ments to Hawkenberry, saying they
were made for the purpose. not SC
much as directing answers from
the witness, but to influence the
jury.
The case will consume the bal
ance of the week.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27

whether New York could match
London's fine showing
They could. They hauled down
records which showed for one thing
that the average taxable value OF
Manhattan is over s200. 900, 900 per
square mile.
When they referred to the choice
section of the island, they turned
out figures which were really start
ling.
The small section of New York
extending from Liberty st. and
Maiden lane to the battery, which
is not much over half square
mile, has a taxable valuation of
1881 ,250,1 $50, The next slice OF the
island above that. extending from
Liberty st. and Maiden lane to
Frankfort and Barclay SITS, also
much less than square mile, has a
valuation of $167,234,200.
These are only few samples and
many could be chosen that would
exceed In value London's choicest
square mile. Manhattan island has
an area of 22 square miles and its
taxable valuation is $4,401, 000, 900
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27
BRAVE SHOT AND SHELL
IN DOOMED BATTLESH|P
MORPHINE VICTIM DIES IN
JAIL PLEADING FOR DRUG

But the trial of strength between
what little of his will was left and
his wrecked system was too great.
Boils and eruptions appeared upon
his body. Theu, yesterday, he ap-
parently gave way to the pangs of
the cravings for the drug. He
begged for mercy. The Jail corri-
doris rang out and other prisoners
took up the cry.
Gradually Blaine subsidized and 1t
was thought his pains were past.
Early last evening. however, he
once more arose from his bunk,
clutched at the strong bars of the
cell and piteously begged for the
soul-killing drug. Soon after, he
expired.
Nothing is known of his ante
cedents. He is man of consider
able education and good breeding.
The remains will be kept at Smiths
until relatives or friends can be
heard from
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27
SMITH SAYS he
WAS WORKING
FOR CHIEF RICE

Lee Smith, who was taken to the
courthouse yesterday by Constable
Murphy on suspicion of blackmail
and Immediately released by order
Of Deputy Prosecutor Kizer, objects
to the inference that he was arrest.
Ell on charge of crime. c. H.
Walters, awaiting trial on an i'm
morality charge, complained that
Smith had offered to get out of the
way so that he could not testify
for $125. An arrangement was
made whereby Smith and Walters
made the deal in the hearing OF
Constable Smith, who then took
Smith into custody.
Smith asked The Press today to
state that he was working for
Chief Rice in an effort to get
more evidence against Walters. He
says he got tip from Walters that
the latter would pay him to leave
town, which he reported to Chief
Rice and the latter told him to get
the money and turn it over to him.
This, he says, he was trying to do
Smith says he first took the case
up with Detective Lister and has
been working ON it since.
He also claims that the trip to
the courthouse with Murphy was
merely taken for the purpose OF
showing that his motive was ap-
proved. He was not put in Jail.
Chief Rice says he knew of
Smiths plan, but had refused to
countenance the scheme tu get
Walters into such a trap or have
anything to do with it.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27
DOCTOR ACCUSED
OF CRIME

AS the result Of an investigation
which Deputy Prosecutor Webster
is making Of statements made on
the witness sind yesterday by Mrs.
Lillian Tiffany. the wife of julius
Tiffany, a bank clerk. who seeks
divorce. a DR.. Dunton may be ar
rested and prosecuted on a charge
of mlpractice. He is in poor stand
ing with the medical profession.
The divorce case was heard be-
fore Judge Huneke, who completed
it yesterdy and has reserved de-
cision until later date.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27
May SELL
THE OPTION

The ok-Clarke Co, from whom
the temple committee of the labor
unions agreed to purchase a site,
have given the committee until to-
morrow to make the first pay ment
of $12,400 Already the committee
has paid $1,000. Tonight sometime
the committee will check up with
the Natatorium park to secure an
accounting of the money taken in
during the past carnival week.
There is possibility that the
committee may, instead of purchas-
ing the property, sell its option. A..
A. Stockwell, of the labor temple
association, said this afternoon
there is a deal on for the sale of
the option for four times what it
cost.
The committee will meet tonight
and try to reach definite conclu-
sion relative to the deal. The
property Is located about 600 feet
west of Masonic temple AMI has $50
feet frontage.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27
FOR
A H0LDUP

Through being mistaken for a
holdup, Marshal J. S. Wright at Col
vile was shot and perhaps mortal
ly wounded today by Joe Rush.
Jack Rush, brother of Joe, was
held up last night on his way home
after cashing check.
Marshal Wright got Sheriff Ora
ham and with A. ID. Chapley they
searched for the holdups until
nearly morning when they went to
the Rush home for further informa-
ton. At the door they shouted to
the Rush family.
The door was suddenly opened
and revealed Joe standing ready
with a 30 rifle. He fired and the
shot struck Wright above the col
lar bone. Wright is in critical con-
dition
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27
MARCH ON
RIVERSIDE

The G. A. r. parade on Memorial
Day will not be interfered with by
the police, even though the veterans
march on Riverside av. Chief Rice
objected somewhat, advising back
streets in order not to interfere
with streetcar and other traffic, but
recalled the objection after the
matter had been taken up with
him by the old soldiers. The fol-
lowing official announcement of the
parade Saturday has been issued:
Organizations will assemble at
1870 p. m, May 30, on Monroe st.
with right resting on Riverside. Pa
rade will move at p. m. sharp in
the following formation:
Marshal and aides, platoon Of po-
lice, regiment Of troops, Grand
Army of the Republic, Spanish war
veterans, Gonzaga college cadets.
The line of march will be east on
Riverside av. to Brown ST., south
on Brown to Second, east on Sec
Ond to the armory.
The parade will comprise the or
CARNATIONS named above and no
others.
The Spokane press. [volume] (Spokane, Wash.) 1902-1939, 1908-05-27
THIMBLE SHOAL IN LOWER

THIMBlE SHOAL IN LOWER
CHESAPEAKE BAY, May a.
10y wireless to Fortress Monroe)-
Disregarding danger and apparent
iy anxious to experience open war
at sea, Commander QuImby, Lieut..
Tausslg and 20 men remained on
the monitor Florida today while IL
inch shells were hurled at the ship
from the guns of the monitor Ar
kansas, anchored 800 yards off. A
broadside battery was turned full
play on the target ship.
Plans for the test were sudden
ly changed this morning when
Quimby and the men volunteered to
assume the risk.
They didn't stay in the turrets,
but remained just behind them
while the projectiles were flying,
and were severely joltei whenever
a projectile struck.
Harry Denbaugh was commander
of the Arkansas. The first shot
fred at screen target hoisted over
the Florida pierced the center.
Then firing on the ship began
and shells hammered the plates
The glasses failed to show that the
Florida was crippled by the bonn
bardment, but experts say the pro-
jectiles had terrific effect.
No signal Of distress has been
seen from the men aboard the
Florida and they are showing no
signs OF being sorry for the dare
devil experience.
After the bombardment Of the
hull the guns were turned against
the experimental mast aft the
Florida's turrets, where dummies