Middletown transcript., 1908-01-04

reforming yOuE5riA
Great heavens exclaimed the
bachelor. you are not going. 70
do anything like that, are you
The widow pointed solemnly
to the hands of the clock. which
indicated 1870, and then to The
calendar, on which hung one fiut-
tering leaf marked December si
It is time, she sighed, to begin
mental house cleaning; 70 sweep
out our collection of last years
follies and dust off our petty
sins and fling away our old vices
and
That's the trouble blo'se IN
the bachelor. It's so hard to
know just what to throw away
and what to keep. Making New
Years resolutions is like doing
the spring house-cleaning tr
clearing out a drawer full OF old
letters and sentimental rubbish.
You know there are lots Of things
you ought to get rid OF, and
that are just In the way. and that
YOU would be better off without,
but the minute you make up
your mind to part with any.
thing, even tiny, insignif.
cant vice, 1t suddenly becomes
SO dear and attractive that you
repent and begin to take a new
interest in it. The only time
ever had to be taken home in a
cab was the day after prom
ised to sign the pledge. and the
bachelor sighed reminiscently.
And the only time / ever over
drew my bank account, declared
the widow, was the day after /
had resolved to economize. |
suppose, she added pensively,
that the best way to begin would
be to pick out the worst vice and
discard that.
And that will leave heaps of
room for the others and fora lotof
new little sins, beside, won't it?
agreed the bachelor cheerfully.
Well. he added pbilosophieally,
III give up numbering.
What the widow started.
Don't you want me to? asked
the bachelor plaintively, rubbing
his bald spot. Or perhaps | might
resolve not to commit highway
robbery any more or to stop forg-
ing orr
All of which is so easy! broke
in the widow sarcastically.
There'd be some glory and
reason in giving up a big vice,
sighed the bachelor, if fellow
had one. But the trouble is that
most of us men haven't any big
criminal tendencies, merely
haan of little follies and weak
nesses that there ism any partic-
ular virtue in sacrificing or any
particular harm in keeping.
And which you always do keep
in spite of all your New Years
vows, remarked the widow ironi
cally.
Huh The bac helor laughed
cynically. It's our New Years
vows that help US to keep EN-
The very fact that fellow has
sworn to forego anything,
whether its a habit or a girl,
makes it more attractive. I've
thrown away q whole box OF
cigars with the finest intentions
in the world and then gotten up
in the middle of the night to fish
the pieces out of tie waste bas-
ket. And that midnight smoke
was the sweetest ever had. 1t
was sweeter than the apples
stole when | was kid and the
kisses I stole when
If you came here to dilate on
the joys of sin, Mr.. Trayers, be-
gan the widow coldly.
And, proceeded the bachelor.
I've made up my mind to stop
flirting with q girl, because
found out that she was beginning
to-to-
+ understand, interrupted the
widow sympathetically.
And. By Jove! finished the
bachelor, / had to rsstain my
self to keep from going back and
proposing to her
How lucky you did.commented
the widow witheringly.
But I wouldn't have, explained
the bachelor ruefully, il the girl
had restrained herself.
Nevertheless, repeated the
widow. Il was lucky for the
girl.
Which cir. : asked the bache-
lor. The girl broke of with or
that came afterward ?
/ suppose, mused the widow
ignoring The levity and leaning
Il