Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1908-11-04
Incle Alexander Tells How to
Manage Them.

Then she stood in the doorway an
gave him the wust tongue lashin' that
! you ever heard tell Of, said our hired
man. IF there was anythin' ornery
that she didn't call him, my mem'ry
amt what it ulster be-
My Aunt Hetty made a deprecatory
noise with her tongue and teeth
"Sech doins!' she exclaimed.
20, dunno" said my Uncle Alex
ander.
How'd you like me to throw pot
lids at you?" asked my Aunt Hetty.
| Il s'pose you'd like that"
1--WE certainly amt had chicken for
quite spell" said my Uncle Alex
ander. mot since Brother Piper was
here. She didn't hit him with any
thin, did She Preston2"
Il don't callate she did" replied
our hired man, mot with anythin'
that she threw at him.
q don't see nothin to grin about, "
said my Aunt Hetty severely. u
think she ought to be ashamed of her
self l don't hold with such carryin's
on Standin' an hollerin' at him SOS
folks could near her!"
You could have heard her mile,
said our hired man.
"All can say is l wonder at her,"
said my Aunt Hetty shes a real
smart woman, an turrible neat in her
housekeepin', but that don't excuse
her actin that way"
II guess Eben didn't get no more
than what was nessry,' said my Uncle
Alexander 81 don't know AS l blame
her, myself She's got to do somethin'
with him, an all she's got to do it
with is her own two hands an her
tongue. Eds too plague-taked mean
an shif'less for any use"
There's other ways" said my Aunt
Hetty.
There's one other way" corrected
my Uncle Alexander. you take a
woman like her, though, an she amt
got but the one. When a woman H.
cross-eyed, an yaller, an slab-sided
an bony, she's got to do theabest shl
can.
give took a heap O. notice of fe
males that's got the name of bein'
limber-tongued an free with the broom
handle, an there amt nary one that |
can call to mind that would take fust
prize at a beauty show. They're
mostly homelier than sin in a ser
mon
"The human man is SO constitooted
that he has got to be driven or coaxed
ono O. the two. The human woman is
so constitooted that she's got to coax
or drive one O the two. That bein
the case, if she can't coax, by reason
OF havin' a face fitten TO stop clock
an figger to match, she's got to get
a flow of language"
Il don't see why she can't talk de-
cent, even if she amt no beauty"
said Aunt Hetty.
"The trouble is that she can't set
on her husbands knee and pull his
whiskers," said my Uncle Alexander
"She can't coozle. If a woman's
plump, an has got rosy cheeks an
bright eyes she can get anything she
wants out of man by just coozlin
up to him an talkin' baby talk
I'D like to know how you found
that out, said my Aunt Hetty tartly.
'T should think you'd be ashamed to
talk that way before a young boy"
II amt never ashamed to tell the
truth" said my Uncle Alexander. you
never see a good-lookin' young WON
an resortin' to hardware and kitchen
supplies to carry her point. She don't
have to. An you don't never see a
lady like Huldah Reddick caressin'
her husbands bald spot an cooin to
him. If she did he'd have her put in
an insane asylum, an she knows it.
cts easier to coax, an it's a sight
pleasanter, but 1t amt everybody that
can do it, even if they wanted to
That's the reason that 1 feel sorry for
Eb,s wife an make allowances for her
That's the reason that whenever /
hear a right good lookin' woman sayin
that she can't understand why any
body should take a flatiron to her man.
or call him out of his proper name at
the top of her voice. feel as If she
needed enlightenin'.
ITS easy for folks to set back an
find fault with their neighbors, but If
you wasn't the good-iookin' woman
that you are, Het, an you had
trifin, no-account, mean cuss like
Eben Reddick for husband, Std of a
sober, stiddy, sweet-tempered, lib'ral,
hardworkin', lincomplainin', sensible
man like me, there's no tellin but
what you'd let loose some time an
give him a taste O. the rough side o.
your tongue. Mebbe you'd throw pot
lids. but anyway you'd say things that
wasn't Complementary"
You'd be s'prised out Of your life
IL / did wouldn't your said my Aunt
detty. sarcastically.
sTd never get over It'll said my
lTnclc Alexander.
.Then you'd better put that fence
round nv flowers that you've bcen
,lkoin Ii for the last three weeks.
ia