davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-04-28
Milk Of Human Kindness.

There is one place" remarked the
thoughtful thinker, where the milk OF
human kindness should always be
found"
Where is that?" queried the dense
party.
within the pale of the church." an
swered the t. Chicago Daily News.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-04-28
Broke His Promise

His Wife-Before we were married
you once said you would give the
world for me.
Her Husband-Well what if I did?
His Wife-Why, now you won't
even sell that little old corner lot
downtown so 1 can get an electric
runabout.-Chicago Daily News.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-04-28

Penelope-What is his pet name for
you?
Perdita-He calls me his doe" be-
cause l am so sweet and gentle.
Penelope-And what do you call
him?
Perdita-I call him my dough-" be.
cause he is so soft.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-04-28
The Bachelors Viewpoint.

MY husband" said the 2O-year-old
bride of a millionaire, lis old enough
to be my grandfather, but he's all
right in his way
you mean he's all right in your
way, do you not?" queried the cynical
achelor.-Chicago Daily News.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-04-28
The Grand Tour.

did you see the Alps?'
"Oh, yes. Our car broke down right
opposite them and. do you know, I'm
almost glad 1t did. found them so
charming and interesting. Puck.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-04-28
shakesneare Revised.

my lord, the duke of Buckingham
has resigned"
Roast him to turn! So much for
buckingham. Detroit Free Press.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-04-28
Saved hY a Record.

The Pioneer-f was burglar once,
lord; now I'm county councillor.
Judge-Then you are discharged.
because of your previous good record.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-04-28

Jones-Im glad I've met you, doc
tor. Can you give me anything for a
bad headache?
Doctor-Have you had bad head
aches before?
Jones-No; always after.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-04-28

The greater the office the better
should be the mar.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-04-28
JOHN R. THoMPs y.

Buffalo Died of Apoplexy.
A buffalo COW at the Wichita ma
tional game preserve died recently OF
apoplexy.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-04-28

f and
center
|icl is
| Ween
|lng a
} that
} side
|llltI
fence
b the
bit Of
form
|HNAN
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
whx Ma wear aIas.a..

Mans eyes at rest are far focused
will make no effort when seeing the
moon or earthly horizons. Birds and
fishes eyes at rest are near focused
will make no effort when looking at
nearby worms and minnows. Mans
elastic lenses are under constant fat
tening compression. Imagine a rub
Der ball Of fiattened convex lenslike
shape laid in between two disks of
canvas and the uniting edges Of these
cloths stretched to a ring. They would
f1atten the rubber, and If relaxed it
would thicken by its own elasticity
The thicker the lens the shorter its
focus. For reading or threading a
needle we relax the tension on the lens
by contracting ring of muscle sur
rounding each lens and then wait for
the lenses to thicken through their
elasticity. In fish the lens is set
against the cornea approximately,
short focus, and when 1t wants to see
whether the shadowy object some feet
away is a shark or log 1t pulls the
entire round lens toward the retina
and gets as clear vision as possible.
Now we see why so many human
beings need "spectacles" as they grow
old-the elasticity Of the lenses is
gradually lost, just as it is In rubber.
-Harper'S
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
To Polish Mahoqany.

eff others are troubled as 1 have
been," says a writer In Harper's Ba-
Ear, with blue gray appearance
on the surface of any of their highly
polished furniture they may feel per-
fectly safe in using the following:
ITO about a quart of clear water add
a tablespoonful of good strong vine
gar. In the solution saturate soft
cheesecloth and wiring out as dry as
possible With this rub lightly the
surface to be cleaned and dry-always
rubbing lightly-with dry piece of
cheesecloth.
IF afraid Of this at first, you might
experiment on { section Of the furni-
ture that does not show The inside of
the top lid of the plano might do If
that is the article to be cleaned. In
case of the first application not en-
tirely removing the cloudy look repeat
the operation In about week and you
will have the satisfaction of seeing
your furniture look as fine as it did
the day it left the factory"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27

ride the lights DOWN he was
shouting, and Jim threw his blistered
arms about the reservoirs as the men
started to lower the apparatus.
They were within a few feet Of the
ring when strength failed, and Jim let
go his hold. A dozen men swarmed to
his aid, and, accompanied by two physi
clans from the audience, they bore
him to the dressing tent.
When he came to the main tent was
dark, and only the light in the dress
ing tent was burning.
did they get out?" he asked weakly.
"Every one Of Them" declared the
old mans hearty voice. ''They thought
it was the sensational finish we ad-
vertise until they saw what you were
up to, and then we had the emergency
lights going, and the crowd went out
In order It's a pity you didn't hear
the applause they gave you"
II was busy-just then" explained
Jim, with a faint smile. He half
raised his head to look about him, and
Clute guessed his thoughts.
daisy has gone on the train to make
up a berth in our own car" he ex-
planned. "She insists upon nursing
you herself. The ambulance will be
here in a minute to take you down.
you want to get well quick, Jim, for
there's a wedding ahead of you, and
it's to be Clute & Pettie's show next
year, with our own electric light plant"
Clute hustled away to look for the
ambulance, and Jim turned to his part
ner. He was too happy to realize how
his burns hurt. He thought only Of
the fact that he had won Daisy.
'Ben," he said, with grin, 1--WE al
ways told 'em we did the hottest act
In the business but that's the hottest
finish we ever did. It's pity we can't
keep it in"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27

The caste system is so deeply rooted
among the people of India that Chris
tanned Hindoos are still under its po-
tent influence. For example, Mr.. J. G.
Oman, formerly professor of natural
science in the government college at
Lahore, tells in his book, ''The Brah-
mans, Deists and Muslims of India" of
the native Christian head master Of a
mission school who was asked in q
court of justice what his religion was.
"Brahman-C Christian he replied.
The judge, who was European, rot
recognizing such sect, asked for more
information.
81 am a Brahman-C Christian" reiter-
ated the head master. Il cannot call
myself simply a Christian" he contin-
ued with some warmth, "when that
Choorah (sweeper) there is also a
Christian. I am a Brahman-C Christian,
sir"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
Won on a RIuH.

eft does me good to meet up with
one of that class of people who think
they know it ALL" said the old man
with the ancient hat. 81 was coming
over from Baltimore on a train the
other day, and man who was writing
In a book asked me how to spell
proper 1 told him, but a know-it-all
who sat near disputed me. l bet him
$40 even up that was right and prov
ed was by four disinterested men.
1 gave the $40 to charity"
'How did the man contend the word
should be spelled7' was asked
''Why, he said there was only one
p In it."
"And you stuck for two, chr
II did. 1 insisted that it was spelled
PROPER and he finally owned up like
a little man and handed me over the
money"
"And would you like to make the
same wager again and leave it to the
dictionarIes?"
mot muchl consulted 'em all next
day and discovered that 1 had bluffed
that poor chap out Of his wealth.
Washington Post.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
A Story of RIaokie.

Professor Blackie of Edinburgh, {
martinez in the class room, was one day
hearing a class with the individuals
Of which he was not acquainted. Pres
emily student rose to read para
graph, his book held in his right hand
"Sir," cried the professor in his auto
cratic way, "hold your book in you
left handr'
The student was about to speak, but
the professor stopped him with 9
peremptory command:
mo words, sir; your left hand,
say!"
Then the student held up his LEFT
arm, which ended at the wrist.
"Sir," said he, II haze nae left hand.
Before the professor could speak
there came perfect storm Of Misses
from the class, and when he did SPEAK
the Kisses drowned what he said
Then he left bis place and went down
to the student whose feelings he had
Internationally hurt, threw his arm
around him and drew him close.
my boy" said the professor, speak
ing softly, yet being heard by every
one In the room, you'll forgive me
that was overweight. l did moi
knowl l did not known
Then he turned to the students, and
with a look and a tone that came
straight from the heart, he said:
"And let me say to all of you that
am glad to be shown that 1 am teach
ing a class of gentlemenl'
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
ESTABLISHED 1875

you can buy my whole miserable
carcass for a penny" retorted Ben
dolefully. "rye been sitting here
thinking over what you said"
II didn't mean to get so hopping
mad" said Sam shamefacedly.
at was right" went on Harrington
81 have rowed Fannie into her bed,
just as you said. She made things so
comfortable that when anything did
60 wrong / scolded her about that In
stead of giving her credit for all that
she had done"
"If you know it, that helps some,"
reminded Sam. II tell you what the
trouble is, Ben. Just because you earn
the money that pays the bills you don't
realize that your wife is working too.
You wouldn't dare talk to a servant
the way you talk to her. You know
your wife won't get mad and quit"
81 never should have come away
and left her," lamented Harrington.
''They sent you on a vacation to give
Fannie a rest" explained Sam, ''but if
you really mean to be good boy it
would be a good idea to send for her.
The trouble with her has been that she
cared so much for you that she wor-
ried when you were not pleased, and
you never were pleased, so she wor-
ried all the time. It will do her good
to come up here and have you wait on
her.
'rll go after her." offered Ben hasti-
~. He was thinking of the cool of the
morning on the boat when they two
should have the deck alone. 1t was
there that he wanted to tell her how
sorry he was. He could not know that
Sam had wired. 1t was well that ne
could not read the message, for it ran
Better come up Ben's found out what
the matter was, and I'll see that he re-
members. SAM
But Sans share of the task was
light, for Harrington remembered Of
his own accord as he coaxed the roses
back to where the lilies had been in
his wife's pale cheeks. When his fri
tation rose there rose before him a
vision of cold bacon and threatening
face. 1t was not romantic, but it was
effective.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
Friday and Fortunes.

Two women who wished to make an
appointment with fortune teller who
was pronounced Just splendid' by
everybody who had patronized heI
were advised by the seer to come on
Friday.
"That is, if you are not superstitious
about Friday" she said Most people
are. They regard Friday as such an
unlucky day that they won't even have
their fortune told them for fear they
will hear something unlucky. That is
why l advised you to come on that
day. | will have plenty of time and
won't have to put your cases through
with such a rush."-St. Louis Repub
lie
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27

whats the user" said Lefty. IF he
goes he will leave his mark some
where. Then we never can get boy
at any price. Mrs. Morgan tried that.
She let her boy go, and they had elev-
en- in two days They all knew where
to look for the sign, and when they
saw 1t they went"
EITHER that heather goes or shall, -
said Mrs. Nook sternly.
I'VE can't let Wah Ling CO." de
clared Lefty with equal 1rmness. II
simply win not be without servant"
Mrs. Nook paused 10 give her step
daughter a chance to reconsider. As
she stood there she caught sight of
Wah Ling's face contorted with rage
peering through the dining room door.
He still held the carving knife, and
with a scornful sniff Mrs. Nook turn
ed and marched upstairs to pack her
trunk.
Wah Ling departed cheerfuily for
the livery to order the carriage 10 take
her to the resort down the road, and
her last glimpse of the little redwood
cottage showed Wah Ling performing
a solemn dance on the porch, with
knife in one hand and club in the
other
The best dinner Wah had ever cook
ed was spread on the table that even
ing when Ben came home from his
work, and from the kitchen came the
shrill notes of what Wah Ling was
pleased to consider a song. Ben laugh
ed as he took his place at the head of
the table.
81 always said that Wah Ling was a
jewel" he declared. "He Is a pearl
without price"
II am little afraid myself" con-
fessed Lefty. "He never was so vio-
lent when we had our trouble"
mo be faid," counseled Wah, who
had noiselessly entered "Hear chin
chin yess'day. Word to wise man
plenty 'nough' Savvy?"
"And you did it on purpose" cried
Lefty reproachfully.
"You no likeT' asked Wah in simu-
lated surprise.
'It was very wrong" declared Ben
as he drew a bill from his pocket and
passed 1t to Wah. "But If she comes
again we will speak more words for
the WISE"
me savvy," agreed Wah as he peck
eted the bill.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
Acquitted,


Voltaire, when on his estate Of Fer
ney, was fond of assuming the air of
nobility and displayed a most philo-
sophical hatred of poachers. One luck
less fellow was caught and brought be-
fore him. Voltaire determined to try
him according to law and took his seat
as judge, directing his secretary to act
as counsel for the prisoner. The advo-
cate made long speech In favor of the
culprit and stopped suddenly.
''Why do you hesitateT asked Vol
taire.
Il wish to read passage from vol
ume in your library"
He procured the book and silently
| turned its leaves. Voltaire became i'm
patient and demanded the cause of his
silence.
''Well," answered the secretary, 81
have. been looking for the word 'hu-
mainly and see you have omitted
it."
voltaire thought the argument so
forcible that he set the poacher free.
Jockeys Tricks.
'SThere are tricks of two kinds In
jockeying," said jockey, "the legiti-
mate and the illegitiBate. Use the
first and you'll prosper. Use the last
and it's all up.
"nlegitimate tricks are pulling race
and getting left at the post. If you
once pull a fast horse and make him
lose, you are always afterward an OBJ
ject Of suspicion, and ten to one If
you ever pull another horse you are
done for But getting yourself left at
the post is a big and complex subject,
and 1t is the one trick that a clever
jockey can work time and again with
safety.
ITO cause rival horse to swerve is
an illegitimate trick that often wins
your race. You cause the swerving by
Strengthening out your leg so that your
heel nearly touches the other horses
nose, or you make wide slash with
your whip SO that 1t nearly touches
the other horses eyes.
''The legitimate tricks are But why
give them away when 1t has taken
all my life to learn themT-New Or
leans Times Democrat
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
We Work Too Hard.

Lady Headfort during her American
tour said in New York that she APP
proved Of international marriages.
'They correct u.s." she explained.
"Our Englishmen work too little, your
American men work too much, and
the international marriage tends to
bring about a happy mean. Your men
do work too much, you know" said
Lady Headfort. 81 have an English
friend who attended the funeral of
one of your hardest workers, a multi
millionaire My friends wife said
rather bitterly to him at the funeral:
How you have missed your oppor-
tunities, my love! Place yourself be-
side Mr.. Ritch there. You are both Of
the same age. You both began life to-
gether Yet you are poor man, while
he died multimillionaire'
"Yes,' said the English husband
There Ritch lies, dead Of nervous pros
tration, without one single penny in
his pocket, and here stand, hale and
hearty, with wallet in my coat con-
tanning quite a hundred dollars"
They're All Like This.
A young and pretty schoolteacher
once asked her class for an original
definition of the word wife"
"a wife is rib" said one little girl
"Wives are guiding stars said an
ether.
"a comforter" said a third.
"An inspiration" said fourth.
Altogether the definitions were rath-
er prosy and commonplace, but finally
a child of eleven, smiling archly, said:
"A wife is a person for a man to find
fault with when things go wrong"
"Goodr cried the pretty teacher,
laughing. "Goodl That is the best
definition Of all, the best the truestT
But that afternoon on the way home
from school the little girl whose def
milton had so pleased tripped demureiy
up to the teacher and said:
"Are you going to marry that tall
handsome young man 1 see you with
nearly every night"
EYES," said the teacher.
"Well, then, If my definition OF a
wife was true
"Ah, but, dear, with us nothing WIN
ever go wrong. He says so himself.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
4 PhiIlins Brooke STORY.

The spirit of love and kindness to
all which pervaded every word and
deed of Bishop Phillips Brooks did not
hinder his keen appreciation of others
failings and shortcomings or his own.
"Why in the world doesn't Brown
write his autobiography and have it
published?" said one of the bishops
friends, referring to an incessant talk
er and most egotistical man who had
been wasting an hour Of the bishops
most precious time by a rehearsal of
some unimportant happenings.
"Why, he'd rather tell it, Of course, .
said the bishop, and then like flash
came regret for the quickly spoken
truth, and he turned on his friend with
a half humorous, half distressed face.
what do you mean by asking me
such a question as that when I'd off
my guard?" he demanded reproach-
fully
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
An Enuinox.

Tommy-Pa, what is an equinox
Why-er-it is-ahem! For good
ness sake, Tommy, don't you know
anything about mythology at all? An
equinox was tabled animal, half
horse, half COW. Its name is derived
from the words equine and OK 1t
does seem as If these public schools
don't teach children anything now
adays!'
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
A Good and safe Rule.

1t is a good and safe rule to sojourn
in every place as if you meant to spend
your life there, never emitting an OPP
portunity of doing kindness or speak
ing a true word or making friend
John Ruskin.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
His Honor indicated.

A couple of good natured Frenchmen
got into a quarrel and challenged each
other to fight On the morning Of the
duel they and their seconds tramped
through the woods to the fatal spot,
when one of the duelists, the challeng-
ing party. tripped and fell. His second
helped him to his feet.
81 hope you are not much hurt" said
the other duelist.
'I'm not much hurt. only bumped
my noise on the ground"
Does 1t bleedT"
Eyes, little"
Heaven be praised! Blood flows,
and my honor is INDICATED Give me
your hand. old bovp'
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
The Burlington and Bristol Steamboat
and Ferry Company

Oft0 1SYTy COHspWy
Schedule in effect $40 g. M, september q. 1908
Subject to change.
LEAVE BRISTOL FOR BURLINGTON.
Dafly-Except Saturdays and sundays.
$40, 500, 900, 1000, lO.4O, Ills 9. M, 1880.
l.30, $50. $50, $50, $50, $40, p. m.
LEAVE BURLINGTON FOR BRISTOL
$50, $50, $50, 1920, ll.0s, ll8o. .. M, LOO
200, 800, 400. 90, $50, $50 p. m.
LEAVE BRISTOL SATURDAYS.
$40. 500. 900. 1000, lO.4o, ILLS. a. M, i2so,
LS0. 40, 300, $40. 40. 500, $40. s64O' T.4o'
pm.
LEAVE BURLINGTOH SATURDAYS.
$50, $50, $50, 100, ll.0O, ll.@, g. m, Luz
2l0, 2zO SO, 4.0O. 500. 6.b0, $3.50, ITO. p M
LEAVE BRISTOL SUNDAYS.
500 900, 1000, lO.4o, I1.l5, .. M, 1880, l.s0,
40, 800, $40. 40 500, $40, 49, s7.lo, p. M.
LEAVE BURLINGTON SUNDAYS.
$50, $50, 1920 HOO, 1l.S0, M, LOO, 200, 24O,
so, 400, 40. go, 660 $3.50. *7.0, p. M
NOTES.
The trims marked thus will be with
drawn on and after November IND, The last
boat from Bristol on Saturdays and sundays
will leave at $40 p M, and the last boat rom ON
Burlington on Saturdays and Sundays Will
the boat for the performances in the Audi
forum will leave Bristol at 7.4O p n., return
ing win leave Burlington twenty minutes
after the performances.
On thanksgiving Day the trips Will be as
December Ist, 1905, the 1000 O'Clock morning
trips nom Bristol will be withdrawn and the
boat will leave Bristol at $40 q. m.
Winter schedule will go in effect on Monday,
December IA, 1905; sooner II there is ice In the
river.
WILLIAM e. DORON
Secretary, Treasurer and General Manager
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
CAMDEN AND SUBURBAN. RAILWAY CO,


Leave MOORESTOWN every 10 minutes
from 5.42 until 1O.42 a.. M; then every 80 min.
utes until 4.12 p. M; then every 10 minutes un-
til 9.42 p. M; then every 80 minutes until ll.l2
p. M; then every hour as per night car
schedule.
Leave FERRY sos, 6.ss, sos, 6.ss .. M; then
every 15 minutes until 9.38 q. M; then every 30
minutes until 3.S8 p. M; then every 10 minutes
until 8.38 p. M; then every 80 minutes until
zoos p. M; then ll.08 and 1908; then every
hour as per night car schedule.
Leave MERCHANTVILLE every min tes
from 582 O. M. until 9N q. M; then every ~
minutes until Al p. M; then every minutes
until 8.H p. M; then every 10 minutes until
ll.z7 p M; then as per night car schedule.
Leave FERRY at sos and 5-SS a. M; then
every 10 minutes until 5.58 a. m; then every
minutes until 1858 q. M; then every 10 min
utes until 858 p. M; then every minutes IN.
til 1853 p. M; then every 10 minutes until lZOS
midnight; then every hour as per night car
schedule.
NIGHT CAR-DAILY AND SUNDAY.
Leave Moorestown, LOO. 202, 500, 4.O2 q. m
Leave Ferry, *l.O8, 2.O8, 80s, 4.0S q. m.
*Last trip on Saturday nigh.
Connect with Mount Holly cara at stanwick
avenue.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
a Man's Idea.

A mans idea Of becoming hat for
his wife Is hat that costs $780,
Nashville American.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27
Interior Decorating
A Speciality

The blending and hanging Wall Papers has become
art which few accomplish We have made study color
schemes and that carry out all the
ideas in paper hanging .
Plans specifications estimates furnished application
Call and the fall goods.
Carpets lnoleum oil cloths, window shades and straw
mattings
Sapolin varnish stains and Gold Enamels.
T. w. BORTON
50 MAIN STREET MOUNT HOLLY,
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-10-27

"r' Stops only on signal or notice to Agent
gers.