The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-08-07
Through
The Fiery
Furnace.
by EDGAR wELTON COOLEY
Copyright. 1908, BY Edgar weiton
Cooley
BY EDGAR wELroN COOLEY.

Nhb hbHrt HA1uug WhhbW.f'
peaked face protruding IN
front OF his thin gray locks. one Lex
across tho other lank knee. jackknife
in his right hand, shinglc In his left.
On tho other end OF the bench aquatted
Bige Ellet, bachelor. fat legs spraddlcd
out, pudgy feet just touching the
ground, black pipe IN mouth.
"Some folks can do q thunderin' lot
OF thinkin' not 10 amount 10 much In
this world. seems 10 me-" said Abner
"Meanln'T' said Blge
"Mcanin'," replied Abner peellng o
long shaving on the sbinglc, some
folks can ait around for nm hour sun
min themselves and never say word
10 show their sociabllity"
"Waal." drawled Bige. putting Wig
orously, II was thlnkln' what an all
fred good thing II II that Snloam Cen
ter has 40 many baldheaded old wild
crcrs struttln' around like peacocks IN
a peach orchard"
"Whyf" asked Abncr. squirting al
Bige,
"'cansc town would be fuller Of old
maids and wldders than the sabary
desert is OF sand burs"
Abner fell TO whiting the shinglc
spitefully. II reckon" hc muscd, "thai
II Just Isn't right 10 fly In tho face Of
Providence, and II the good Lord had
ever Intended BIge Ellet for Romeo
he'd "a made him leetle more hand.
some and triae less hippypotamous,
Maybe I'm hippypotamus,' said
plgc calmly, ''or alligator or 'noso
ross, but amt losin' no sleep yearnin'
for a postgraduate course in matrI
mony."
by jingo!'' cried Abner. leaping 10
his feet and shaking his fist Don't
taunt me. Blge Ellet; don't 20 do iti'
"Ain't goin' TO taunt ye. but II you
don't keep out OF my way III step on
ye. and I've seen q moon fore now
that didn't have nothin' LEFT to II bu,
a rim"
YOU'RE consarned old blow poutw
atormed Abner you're n jealous old
Jessecat! You know | courted Sereny
sImkins fore you did, and you think
you can cut mo out, but yc can't do t."
For moment be gyrated up and
down In frsnt Of the sncering Bige.
then darted up the street, Blge sat
on the bench and watched him until
he disappeared IN the distance. Then
he arose slowly and brushed bis clothes
with his bandanna handkerchief.
Cant. eh?" he soliloquizcd, glanclna
In the direction whence Abner had
fed. Cant, chy Reckon III Just
wander down that way and see"
Miss simkins was out by the willow
hedge gathering green brush In a.
clothes basket when Abner came shuf.
fling along the road lie was trcm.
bling with Indignation and fatigue and
sat down on the well curb to rest
But he hadn't been there ten minutes
when he saw Blge Ellct, putting like
a freight train on steep grade. steer.
ing for Miss Slmkins' modest abode.
"Jumpln' Jerlchow he cried, gazing
frantically about for some avenue of
escape.
Already the front gate was blocked
by the bachelors pompous form. ln|
the rear Miss SlmkIns was coming up
the path. So with the agility of q
squirrel he darted into the smoke.
house, climbed a ladder and squatted
silently amid the gloomy rafters, from
which dangled numerous uncured hams
and pieces of side meat.
Straight to the open door came
Blge then paused and removed his
hat as Miss Slmklns approached.
"Why, how dye do1" he began. bow.
ing effuslvely,
"0h, Mr.. Ellet," replied Miss Sim.
.kins, I'm so glad you came, | need
somebody to help me smoke that meat,
"Why. certainly, num-" said Bige,
his rotund face turning scarlet with
pleasure.
He took the basket from her and
dumped Its contents upon pile Of
leaves on the middle Of the smoke
house floor, then struck a match and
touched 1t to the leaves.
"Oh, Lordw groaned Abner from his |
elevated perch as thin cloud OF
smoke began rising Il wish cyclone |
would come along. wish the town |
would catch fire. l wish somethin
would happen to make 'em go away |
! don't know what am goln' to do" |
1T 10 certainly very kind Of you,
Abiiah," said Miss Simkins, blushlng |
"a lone woman has hard time try
ing to get along" She sighed effec-
lively.
Must have thunderin' hard time
to want to marry widderer with SIX
said Blge dryly.
A great cloud of smoke was rising
from the fire. Abner was nearly chok.
ed and was rolling his eyes desperate
ly to keep from sneezlng, The tears
were running down his cheeks IN
streams.
"Why, Mr.. Ellet," began Miss Sim
lins amazedly, what do you mean?"
Heard that you were goin' to
marry that old idjit Of an Abner
Moon" came Blge's complaining voice,
Then the door closed with bang, and
q bolt few into place,
Miss Simkins sat down on the door