The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1908-04-16


Paper Collar. aad Thezr Uses
soiomoa Was Lueky and Lived 4.
. Day When 10 Was Not Dincnl
to BE WISE
, Correspondents Of The caucaxiaa
Enterprise.
Bilkinsville. n. c.. April II.
am on In the Western part o.
the State rastyeatin' an tryin' tel
gain q little appytite an helth, an
find that hit liz erbout the hardest
job that | ever undertook: an hi,
liz awlso a Job that they aIn't much
pay In.
When a feller gifts guide an sick
for a long time hit takes awl the
rain takes hit out ov q paper collar.
But / don't reckon many oy your
readers ever wore paper collars. 20
they won't understand that part ov
the gave. Paper collars wuz In fash
ion fifteen and twenty years ergo.
That wuz before steam lanudries
wuz invented. The boys that want
ed ter put on style an look purity
awl wore paper collars In them days
an they looked nifty nice when they
wuz first put on, az long az hit didn't
rain an az long az a feller didn't
git too warm under the collar. But
axidents will happen, an the feller
with a paper collar on had ter walk
chalk line-or else change collars.
Before the day ov paper collars
| preachers an other speakers wuz
nifty keerful when they got up ter
speak on a hot day. Short sermons
wuz nifty popular then durin' ov the
summer, an they air still sorter
fashionable in sum seckshuns ov the
country. An | reckon they are the
| best sort, after awl. A feller can't
git use ter bein' tole erbout hiz
meanness an he hardly ever gifts In
shape ter injoy bein' told, specially
If he liz very mean.
They IL one class ov our people
that hardly ever go ter preachin' an
that liz the large class called polly
tishuns. They can't stand the pres
sure. Pollyticks an religion air
generally goin' in opposite direck-
shuns an they don't mix much az a
rule. But they air times when the
pollytishuns git ter feelin' real guide
an they try ter scatter good gov
ernments, guide pollytieks, religion
an lot ov other blessin's from the
same masheen. If you will keep yer
a We fnr fho II
you will notis more or less ov that
sort ov business goin' on now an
in the future. But I am gittin' on
posted land when I write anything
oV that sort; hit won't do ter expose
the games ov the pollytfshuns, fer
they air our most enterpriZin' siti-
zens. Every one ov them liz in love
with us an we can't git GROUND
lovin' them, no matter how hard we
try.
The people up this way air still
waitin' fer cotton ter go up, some ov
them air at any rate. But they air
goin' ahead gittin' ready fer an
other crop, an they air buildin' up
their hopes that they will be able
ter put me ter wurk when the grass
gifts limbered up an begins ter grow.
But they hev not counted the cost.
They may be able ter make grass
killer out ov me, but hit will take
several bosses ter run the job an
that will make an expensive hand
in my case. But 1 may substitute
Bob in my place an let them use
him ter cultivate the crops. Bob liz
a dandy guide mule an he will be
worth a guide deal in grass KILN
fite. In fact, that iz Bob's specially
since he got out ov pollyticks. We
air havin' so many different styles
ov pollyticks in the State now that
Bob iz not able ter keep up with
them an / think he will do better
ter retire ter private life fer a little
spell till things git ter runnin'
smoothly. If Solomon wuz livin'
now he would not know the ropes
we'll enough ter run in the sort ov
politicks we air sufferin' now. In
fackt, I think Solomon would shake
hiz he'd an give hit up without max
in much ov a struggle If he wuz
here. Solomon wuz very wise
man, but he probably had some slow
ones ter deal with an that wuz
| what made hit eazy fer him. If he
had got up ergin the tariff, the finan-
cial question, he moral issue an a
| few other things we hev on hand
nowadays, he would hev called fer
assistance in less than two days, an
hit il more than likely that he would
not hev made any reputation az a
wise man outside ov Louizburg or
Smithfield, fer we hev sum nifty
smart men here in North Carolina.
I see that the pollytishuns air lay
in their pipe lines up this way fer
the voters this fall. Hit liz the sam
old game with few changes. Polly
ticks air sumpthin' that don't never
change ter any extent. They air er-
bout the same in every country on
the globe so far az kin hear. Sum-
times the pollytishuns kin fool us
worse than at other times an sum-
times hit seems that they kin fool
US eazier than they could before,
but hit IL just erbout the easyiest
bunco game that hez ever bin invent
ed, an they amt no law ergin hit.
reckon that liz why pollyticks air
SO popular. If a feller wuz ter go
over the country an do business
like the average polytishun runs pol