The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-03-18

Ole LIE INTO MY HAIR AND PULLED IT
OUT ~ HANDFULS."
all know that l lost my wife three
years ago and after a year l married
again and am now living with No. ..
l reckon it's also purity we'll known
that No. 2 bosses the roost. If it hain't.
then I'm ready to admit that she do.
She's a good woman as women go. but
I've got a few words to say to such of
you a have lost No. l and are looking
around for the next.
"Why does a Teller marry the first
time? Because he is in love. Because
it's natural. Because he wants a home.
l hain't saying that lots of fellers don't
make idiots of themselves the first time
trying, but I'm %contending hat they
don't begin with them that try it the
second time. When l lost my first wife.
you all know that for the first two
weeks l laid on the grass under the
apple trees and was inconsolable. Pud-
ding and milk was the only thing I
could eat for days. l jest felt that
there was nothing left in this world
for me and that | should never care to
see another dog fight OF to discuss poll
tics Or religion ag'in.
while this feeling was on me Sam
Ainslee's woodshed took fire and call
ed out everybody in town-evarybody
but me. l never left the house. l
didn't seem to care a durn if all the
woodsheds in America took fire. Dur
ing that time also Ebenezer Lane lost
his dog, and Moses Warner had ten
bushels Of oats stolen from his barn.
and I didn't take the slightest inter-
est. If a circus had come along at
that time l shouldn't even have look
ed out Of the winder to see if there
were any two bumped camels follering
the band wagon.
There was folks in this village,
gentlemen, who said that I'd grieve
myself to death over my loss. and
there were others who said I'd be
shopping around after No. 2 within a
year. AS for me, l felt that l was
wasting away and was powerfully sur.
prised one day to find myself eating
heartily of a boiled dinner. From that
time l began to pick up. but for
months afterward l had no more
thoughts of marrying agin than Lem.
uel Goohheart has of putting his foot
agin the hot stove. 1t seemed to mt
that the man who lost such an angel
Of a wife as l had deserved to be sho,
for thinking of marrying agin.
jest when the idea hit me that Id
better look around IL little for another
woman | can't say. | think it was
after I'd cooked my own meals, made
my w bed, sewed on my own but
tons and washed my own shirts 70,
seven or eight months. Then the feel.
Ing stole over me that there was room
In the house for another. 1t sortel
skeered HE at first. but I'm saying
that it's Il feeling you can get useI
to in a day or two. AS soo as l he
gan to wonder if l really ought Il
marry ag'in I found myself advancing
a dozen reasons why I should.
Found the Widder Glenn.
well. it hain't no secret that
looked around and found the widdel
Glenn. She might have been lookine
around at the same time. but I'm no
going to say that such is the case
At first it was Il question with m,
whether a wilower could love 70,
the second time. Within a week aftc,
l had hit the widder's trail that ques
ton was settled in the affirmative.
found myself Il heap more in love thar
on the first occasion. All of YOU wa
kind enough to say that l made
burned fool of myself. and. though
couldn't see it then. I'm admittin'
most of it now.
II haunted the widder's house ia,
and night. | hung around her gate a
midnight. | wrote poetry on to her
posted myself on sunrises and sunset
and moons and babbling brooks f.