Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-08-25


$50 you were successful In your nrst
case, doctor?S "Er-yes, yes; the-er
widow paid the bill."-The Taller.
Church-Did you ever work ,or
railroad company? Gotham-Well. yea:
I've tried to open the car windows
Yonkers Statesman.
Little -Granddad. what makes
man always give woman a diamond
engagement ring? Grandfather-Ths
woman--'Pnlladelphia Enquirer.
Wife-I've invited one of my old
beaux to dinner. Do You mind? Hus-
band-Mind! Heavens, no! / always
love to associate with lucky people
Life.
Family Doctor-And how old are you
now, Robbie? Robbie-Pm not old at
all. doctor. No man is old until his
teeth are al gone. and here I'm getting
q new set
Aunte-Poor Rob! Does your tooth
ache yet? If 'twere mine. dear. I'd
have 1t out at once and be done with
It Robbie-If 'twere yours, Well.
auntie, 50 would 1.
what would you 10, dear, II I were
to der asked Mrs. barley, fondly.
* don't know" replied barley thought
fully. (which is your choice-burial
or cremation ?"-Tit-Bits.
"Popl What is a pantomimer' "a
pantomime Is piece in which no one
speaks" II shouldn't think a piecs
with no women in It would be interest
Ing !"-Yonkers Statesman.
DO you want employment" Lady"
answered Flooding Pete, you means
well, but you can't make work sound
any more invitin' by usin words OF
three syllables. "-washington Star.
First Deacon-Our new pastor must
be vegetarian. Second Deacon-why
DO you think SOL First Deacon-There
doesn't seem to be any meat In his SER
mons.-Philadelphia Public Ledger.
Elsa-The paper says that the bride
was unattended. Stella-That notice
was written up In advance of the wed
ding, but 1t was a good guess; the
bridegroom failed to show up.-Puck.
Mrs. Hix-I don't take any stock in
these faith cures brought about by the
laying on of hands Mrs. Dix-Well,
do; cured my little boy OF the cigar
cite habit that way.-New York Globe.
"You call this summer resort, I
believe" said the sarcastic visitor. "I
am unaware Of any place to which sum-
mer resorts more regularly" returned
the Philadelphia stifny-Philadelph
Bulletin.
But" protested the Maynard son,
you should make allowance for the
folllles Of youth" "Huh!" growled the
old man. IF 1t wasn't for the allow
ance you get there would be less folly"
Chicago Daily News.
Hiram-Who is that little runt that
KEN up in buggy wagon to see Miss
Flip, the new boarderl Silas-He's
what them city folks calls her "fiasco.T
Hiram-Her fiasco-oh, you mean her
fnancee.-Boston Transcript
Louder! Louder p shrleked the del
egates- Gentlemen" protested the pre-
siding officer, II can assure you that
the disappointment Of those who can't
hear isn't a marker to the disappOint
ment Of those who can."-Philadelphi
Public Ledger.
Mamma-Robbie, have you earache,
dear7 Robbie-No, mamma. Mamma
Then why do you put cotton in It'll
Robbie-'Cause you told me that
learn so little. cause what goes in one
ear goes out the other. and 30 I've
plugged the other up
did you write to papa. GeorgeT
Asking for your handT "Of course"
Eyes, wroto" That's strange. sup
posed papa would be terribly angry.
You know he doesn't like you" Yes
I know. But fred 1t all right IL
didn't sign the etter."-Cleveiand
Plain Dealer.
Publican-And how do you like being
married, John? John--Don't like 1t at
all Publican-Why, what's the matter
WI she, John? John-Well, first thing
In the morning it's money, when l gooes
'ome to my dinner 'es money again.
and at supper It's the same thing. Moth
ing but money, money, money! Publ.
can-Well, I never! What do she do
WI all that money? john dunno.
amt given her any yet