Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-03-13
J'T J "'s7.
BY LUE r. VERNON.


a trade or profession which has no
correspondence school. will they please
call at the STANDARD Office and receive
the reward-one copy of the Congress
SiOndl Record.
There never was woman or man
who did not have a ihean streak in his
or her organization. When | hear of
a woman spoken of as a perfect angel
in disposition" know that it is
! lie
Five hundred men are working
daily on the grounds of the Alaska
Yukon Pacific exposition says the
P-I but that paper fails to tell its
readers, however. how many hundred
men visit the grounds each day asking
for job.
Some of those most heavily interest
ed financially in the Alaska-Y YukOn-
! Pacific exposition. suggest the post
ponement of the opening date until
| 1910, for the benefit of all concerned.
owing to the recent financial furry.
! The suggestion seems wise.
! We've seen in praised in poems,
| In fact they quite abound,
| How nature paints the country
/ And all the woodland round.
But though the dame is given
Her measure of renOwn,
| The poets never mention
How man can paint the town.
And to think in these days Of picture
postal cards. one cannot, though search
as he may, find Il single card bearing
! Senator Ankeny'S picture on one end,
and the likeness of Colonel Alden J.
Blethen. editorin-chief of the Seattle
Times. at the other weep Here
| are the tears.
Mr.. Starfish lin BARRIERS chair)-
Now look here, barber, be careful.
The last man who shaved me nearly
killed ME, and | won't be as easy on
yOI DIS L NdS OH MIN.
Barber (anXiously)-"No one in this
shop who shaved you. was it?"
Mr.. Starfish-"No. did it myself"
The possession of a printers make
| up" rule by a man is no sure sign that
| its posSeSsOr is capable printer, any
more so than union card denotes its
| holder to be first-class workman.
Either may fall into the hands of
fakirs, whose chief talent consists of
"bullconn," gall, and nerve.
They are selling potatoes in Chicago
with the sunion label on each "spud."
IT takes just as much time and heat.
however, ! suppose to cook EN- as it
does non-uniOn one Stickers will
!.e used soon, no doubt, by BARRIERS
who VIII apply it on the customers
cheek. after he's been shaved, reading:
This man was shaved in union
shop" Ugh.
| Matthew Simmack of Baltimore. is
dead. Matthew said he was going to
heaven, where he would be happy
Tor evermore. And Matthew believed
IN trying to make this old globe a
happy place for at least few hours
to his friends whom he left on earth,
SO Matthew, old boy. being broad
minded fellow, left 5000 to be spent in
wine, beer and whisky, which was to
be drunk at his funeral by his friends
Good boy, Matthew.
| The two largest circular saws in the
world have just been manufactured in
Seattle and are now doing duty in a
mill near Ballard, called the Wood
land" Each of the saws Is rs inches.
or 6a feet in diameter, and is approxi
mately one-fourth of an inch thick
Each saw weights 345 pounds, and is
TO be used as cutoff" says the P-T
Yet these two large saws will be un-
able to cut much of a figure in giving
the hundreds of unemployed men in
Seattle work.
| 4 r
Seattle is so much ashamed, don't
you know, to have any one mention
'soup-houses." Still it could do no
better for the sake of starving human
ity In its limits, than to open a dozen
when 1t Is declared by Seattle papers
that between 800 and 1000 men apply
to the city employment bureau daily
Tor work. Seems to me that some of
the money collected by the churches.
with their cloud-reaching spires. to he
sent across the seas to the so-called
heathen. had far better be expended in
relieving unemployed and needy mort.
ais right in the Queen City. Hey?
III you read the Road to Wellyille"
found in each package of Postum, /"
you must not drink any more coffee
III You read the medical papers YOU
are advised to not drink water-mi.
crobes. II you read Shasta water cir.
cuiars, you must not drink milk
germs. If you read prohibition litera.
ture' you must not drink lnquor-
snakes. If you read-O, what's the
use-l adhere to the Biblical proverb:
Eat drink and be merry, for tomor.
row We die" or words to this effect
quacks, imposters, and fakirs of all
sorts. that christian Science Is an