Free press., 1908-03-21

AEU y
what are Tew going when yewr
srandaddy Jones asst us Fellers Day.
he Is as White as thee Fresh driven
snow
but he wus Young in the long, long ago.
| He kin remember when Adam and Eve
had git out OF thee Garden and leave!
When he wus young there wus Bares in
thee Park
| indians sSylarked thea streets after dark
| lie used monkey around sist fer fun
| hunting toee Tigers and making them
Run.
He wus a very strong man at thee time
be wus making thee Grizzlies cline!
| when we had told him what we WIZ to 3,
grandadcy yawned and he sed, I'VE shall
seei'
then he asked. "woodn't yew boys like
SUmthing I have that is sacred me?
1t Is Ivory Box and a Flame
set in very Red place in Frame!
'if yew will hustel and saw up thee
will exhibit these Things if yewr good"
so we pitched In and we sawed every
stick
piling 1t up in thee shed very slick!
then Mr.. Jones with shake OF his he'd
promised bring on thee Things that he
sed.
next thing he did wus show us his
wagging his TONGUE in his MOUTH un-
derneath!
that was thee Ivory Box ana thee Flame
set in a very red place in Frame!
when we wus leaving the house firing
mad!
Fatty sed. Amt he thee meanest old
Cuss?'
Stubbie sed, Eyes, but We DON'T want no
fuss!'
something was singling g lot in my vest:
What in the Dickens is this? I'll be
blest!
It WIS thee MONEY for saving thee
Wood
10 cents A piece and thee pay wus quite
good!
Billy sed. "Ain't Daddy Jones gist a
Then we set out for thee Town in Race
spending the Money for saving thee
Wood,
hi but the. Things Ihat W. bought tasted
when git old ana awl Rinkled and
shall B like M Jones Is Day!
For Instance.
II the hungry had the surplus
food that causes the dyspepsia of to-
day, this would be happier world
for both the rich and the poor
have q nice, almost-as-good-as-new
tennis racquet that l would like to
trade for frst-class fiapjack turner
or q snow shovel Please write
Santa Claus narrowly escaped going
Into the hands OF a receiver this year,
all right
A friend Of mine will never build a
house. He 10 waiting for material to
get cheaper, and every year he looks
forward to the next and says it will
go down sure In the spring. If he
doesn't get this notion out Of his head,
his daughters will be married before
he has the home ready for the nup-
tials. The time to build a residence
is when you are ready Ten years
ago, l recall that newspaper publish
ers were waiting until the price OF the
typeSetting machine went down be-
fore buying. Some OF them are still
waiting and the price is higher now
than ever.
Did you ever notice what a lot of
crying emanates from the bluejays
after a snow storm? When the snow
has ceased falling and the sun comes
out, bedlam seems to have broken
loose in the woods. The jays set up
an agitated shrieking and the squir-
re!s, making migratory journeys in
the tree tops, bark back at them. The
rabbits imprint wobbly tracks in the
snow as they bob through the under
brush in search of tender twigs or
rush in semi-circles before the oncom-
ing dog. The snow-birds twitter like
the gossipy little balls of feathers that
they are and across the turnpike fl
tiers the merry jingle of sleighbells,
adding melody of beauty to the
diapason of Nature. AprOpos of the
trluejays and the way they shrek,
am always wondering If they really
are as mad as they pretend to be?
They talk like a bevy of dagos down
on Dearborn street, where l get my
shoes shined, and listening to them
one expects the fight to begin almost
any minute. Bluejays must be a dys-
peptic lot-or else they generate all
together too much hot air for the
peace and good viii OF birddom.
No Use for Them.
An Alabama editor who has no occa,
sion to visit in Tennessee, anyhow,
prints the following:
A woman in Tennessee town recently
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