davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

"oh, George" sighed the Iovesick
maiden. I'm sure I'm not worthy to
be your wife"
Well" replied George YEARLY. I'm
nc worthy to be your husband, so
we're just about evenly matched. -
Philadelphia Press.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

She-Do you remember that thirty
years ago you proposed 10 me and tli..t
I refused your
He--Oh. vf-s. That's one Of the nlo<s
treasured recoIlectiops Of my youth
Human Life
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03
To tho strict Letter.

MARY" said the lady of the house,
you didn't put any salt In this bread"
''But," replied the new girl, didn't
the master say yesterday he wouldn't
have nothing bur fresh bread OF his
table. mum?"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03
The overttred Conductor.

When the horse cars were in exist
ence there was a greenhorn known as
John who conducted on the Thirteenth
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

In Greece. &fter prisoner has been
sentenced TO 0eath. he has TO wait two
years before the execution can take
place
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

The team should be fed the heaviest
meal in the evening, for they have
more time then to enjoy it.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

Some men enjoy being grouchy and
their highest ambition Is to destroy
something others have created.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

When two members OF the same FAM
ily meet in the street. they always seem
to have something disagreeable to K
about
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

The food limit of every COW should
be governed by the ability of the COW
to give profit on what she eats.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

Some men have not yet learned that
brains count more In farming than long
legs and brute force.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

Commercial travellers licenses in the
British South African colonies and
protectorates amor Mt 10 $500 year.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

If a hen lays an egg week the
year through, 1t will Just pay fer her
feed and every extra egg Will yield a
profit.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

The next day one of the other boys
smoke in derogatory terms of Jimmy's
shoes.
.sThem shoesw cried Jimmy. opening
his ewes In amazement. Them shoes is
made OF real cowhide See here! lie
went TO the wall and rubbed the toes of
the shoes vigorously against the brick
and then directed the attention of the
spectators to the small effect the fr :
tion had o3 the leather. Them shoes
WON'T never wear out" he declared,
nrout,ly. "Come an feel of EN-
Which they did. admiringly. invious-
~. Percy went to the wall and rubbed
his toes against 1t and came back 70
the group with holes In the thin caps.
One or two others tried the expert
nent. with like results. Percy went
home and asked II he couldn't have
some awfully thick shoes made of real
cowhide.
Jimmy's parents were not well-to-do.
hut according 10 their son they had
more delightful possessions than any
body else In town. There was the
COW. There was the tremendous man
Gle In the shed that Jimmy was allowed
10 operate when his mother was rushed
with work. There was the model ship
that Jimmy's nncle. who had been q
sailor. had carved with bis own hands
and no other tool than a jaek-knife,
No end Of things. Jimmy had dog
Hes Just cur" said Percy.
HE suits me-" said Jimmy. Il bet
YOU he's smarter than any dog you
know. You ought 20 see him so after
q rabbit. He can do tricks, too. III
show YOU"
Anything that you've got IS all
right said Percy, with intended sar'
casm.
..Tm lucky. that's all" said Jimmy,
simply. "It Just seems TO come that
way.
"Nfy father says folks that are al
WAYS satisfied with everything don't
never get anywhere" said Iercy.
That saying. by the way, made 8
great impression ON Percy. Re thought
OF 1t often in after years as he. shifted
about from one place TO another
moved by a divine discomfort
II occurred TO him when he. clera
IN a bank. met Jimmy and found thai
Jimmy felt not at all abused by fat
In the lowly occupation Of Office boy Il
a railroad Office. He appeared 20 =
even proud of II. a fellow has TO b
.ratfv smart and hustle mighty livel,
10 do my work-aDd do It right" SAIL
Jimmy. ITS good wages, too. and w
30; dandy boss tell you the raj
read business Is the business to Be In
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

The next time Percy saw him Jimmy
was full-fedged clerk In the auditing
department of the road and seemed %
have nothing left to ask for He vas
engaged to the loveliest and sweetest
girl that ever happened. Percy wasn't
feeling in happy frame of mind at
the time, having been treated very
shabbily by the manager of the hard
ware house he had been working for.
He was rather glad to get away from
Jimmy, that round-faced embodiment
Of satisfaction.
Hes found his level" thought Percy
when they had parted He'll save his
money and he'll have the best wife and
the neatest little house and the finest
bunch of children and the prize reg
etable garden and he'll jog along on his
little salary to the end Of his days and
be happy. Well, We aren't all made
alike!'
1t was only part of his prophecy
that came true.
A long, long time after that Percy
Heffner was waiting at a certain rail
road junction for a train to take him
to his home city and chatting because a
special had delayed it. He was in the
insurance business then and the trip
he had taken had not been successful.
Presently the special drew up to the
platform and a chubby, round-faced
man of prosperous appearance got ut
and walked briskly into the Telegraph
Office. In a few minutes he came It
again and was about to re-enter the
car when his quick glance encountered
Percy's stare and he stopped.
"Heffner!' ~ he exclaimed. "Why,
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03
Jimmy Was Pleased


One day new boy came to the
school, n rather chubby, round-faced.
good-natured looking boy, who wore
very coarse and clumsy shoes and car
ried his lunch wrapped in a newspaper
and stuffed into the side pocket of his
skinny and threadbare jacket He
said his name was Jimmy Stagg.
Percy Heffner, whose mother fitted
him out with a clean waist every day
of his life and wouldn't let him wear
darned stockings, took notice of Jimmy
for some reason and strolled up to him
as he was eating his lunch. 1t was
bread and butter. Just plain bread AID
butter.
Percy looked rather disguised. "Aln't
you got no pie, even?" he asked.
SCOT err maple" said Jimmy, with
his mouth full want a bite?'
Percy shook his head 81 just threw
away a big piece of apple pie" he said.
"and some fried chickun."
Jimmy did not seem 40 be at all I'M
pressed. pie amt good for the STUN
Illck, Ht Ettilulhtu. NY hoihCA soy -
so, an 1t amt good to eat meat more'n
once day like bread an butter.
MY mother made the bread an we
churned the butter ourselves. It's
lickin good"
"Why don't you carry it in a lunch
box?" asked Percy.
'T'd sooner have II In paper" re-
piled Jimmy. "I'd have TO pack the
lunchbox back. When | get through
can lust roll the paper in a wad an
throw 1t away"
Percy seemed to think there might
be something in that argument, but he
departed. leaving the new boy content
edly munching his bread and butter,
while he polished the rosy apple on the
leg of his trousers.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

Home to the boy and girl does not
mean simply place in which to eat
and sleep and work.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

brought near It, not even lighted pipe
or cigar.
1t has given excellent satisfaction
when used at the roots of trees. after
removing the earth for that purpose.
in destroying root lice and other de-
predators that work near the roots.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

If you want to get good catch Of
clover next season. give the fields
which are to be sown a good coating
of manure.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

If you sin against your stock. be sure
your sin viii find you out in reduced
profits.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03
&sassaS&SSS

Give the young chickens the run OF
the place.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

1t pays to be honest with the chill
dren from the start, because they are
sure to find us out in time, and then
respect takes wings.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

a woman often goes about her work
with headache that would send a man
to bed and set him to bowling so he
could be heard mile.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

No sensible man would take chances
on breeding poor, starved animals, nor
should he think of using immature and
shrunken grain for seed.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

There are five conditions which de
termine the value of milk for human
food. First, the health of the cow |;
second, the composition Of the milk I;
third, its cleanliness and the surround
ings under which it is made. which de-
termine how long 1t viii remain sweet
and palatable; fourth, its favor, taste
or odor; fifth, its color and general APP
Dearance
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

One advantage of having calves come
In the fall is that there is usually
more time on the farm to attend to
the cattle, calves are more economical
" raised, since by the time the spring
grass shoots up they are ready for it,
and are In good condition the next win
ter to begin the duties OF maternity.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-11-03

The greatest value of sheep in an
orchard is found probably In their be
ing used as a means of fertilizing or
chards that are bearing.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-06-26

ALI the news all the time-THH
ARGUS.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-06-26
RECORD OF COURT HOUSE
Real Estate Transfers.

Edward c. lamp, TO Lydia A. Parker
lots l, 2, blk. 6, Howard's add. to Rock
Island, 81.
John E. Seesbe to John A. Mikesell
lot s, blk. /, Mosenfelder's Both ST. add
10 Rock Island, $3.50.
Simon Dexter to Camille DeWaele
lot H., Dexter's, subdiv. ne "a, sec.
15-17-2w, 5000.
hudson D. Metzgar to Mamie E.
Ward lots s, g., blk 1, Simonson &
James add. to Molin, 81.
Lydia A. Parker to Anna H. Lamp
lots 1. 2, blk. 6, Towards add. to Rock
Island, 81. 80
Ellen Lewis TO Edna NJ. Mitchell lot
u, Sc a of sw Il sec. u, also lot 13, in
Nv u. Sc "a, .sw u, sec. u, also lots 6,
7, Sec Is, also 5 acres of lots Is, 1G,
Is, sec. 1S, also sw 4, ne a of nwH
sec. Is, and e II or p, NV a, sec. Is,
also lot 2, James Greenwoods' subdiv.
sw u sec. 12-17-1w, 81.
w C. Maucker to William S. Pate
lot 10. blk. 1. Woodruff & Sears Isl
ladd. Town of Sears, 81.
Edna NJ. Mitchell to William Lewis
lot II, Sc "a, sw Il, sec. 12-17-1w, also
lot Is, in W 1a1sw II, sw u, sec. -
also lots 6, I, sec Is, also acres OF
lots Is, 16, rs, Sec Is, also sw u ne Il
OF NV II sec. Is, and u of q, NV
Il sec. Is, also lot ,, James Green
woods subdiv. sw u sec 12-17-1w. 81
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-06-26

that you let not your left hand know
what your right hand doeth.
And yet in acquiring his wealth it
must be said that he had unwilling
ly carried out the spirit of that pre-
cept. for many of the doings of his
right hand were of so questionable a
nature that he had kept his left hand
in darkness for very shame. But to
speak fair) if the right hand had
known of some of the deeds of the
left hand it would have blushed. Oh,
they were a good pair of hands, those
hands of the multi-millionaire! Ever
faithful to his material interests had
they been, but now he was afraid
that his chance of heaven would be
meager If they did not together act
as almoners-of course, with a prop
er barker" before them to trumpet
forth their good deeds to an admiring
world.
So Jabez Hottie sent for a re-
porter and said to him: What is the
best way to let the world know that
/ am not merely an acquirer ofwealth,
but that all my money-getting has
had but one object, the final giving
away of all my goods to the poor?"
The reporter said: You might ad-
vertise on our financial page to this
effect: 'Jabez Hottie, millionaire,
wishes to divide his wealth among
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-06-26

charity, and good deed much blown
about penetrates to remote places and
is put to the credit of the doer Of the
deed; but If the good deed can be,
made to bear immediate fruit, if your
bread comes, back on the returfi
wave, so to speak, you will probably
stand for long time on the beach
chucking loayes into the sea"
go on" said Jabez; Il am list,n-
ing"
MY idea is" said the reporter,
land I hope you will take my frank
ness in the proper spirit, that the
public would as soon believe that
William of Germany was puppet, as
that you, Jabez Holtite, would actual
" give away money, and | think
there are thousands in this great city
who would gladly give dollar apiece
to see you in the act"
"Ah, 1 know I am a wonder as
an Acquisition" said Jabez. mentally
hugging himself.
Sure" said the reporter. Now
why not hire Madison Square garden,
erect platform in the middle of the
arena and give away a thousand dol
lars every hour on the stroke of the
clock? You might also give them a
15-minute talk on how to become a
millionaire on a capital of two cents
and an atrophied conscience. You
catch my point?"
why, certainly" said Jabez. Young
| man, you have a brilliant future"
The whole world knows the result.
| Madison Square garden was crowded
every hour at dollar head.
And every hour, at the stroke of the
| clock, Jabez Hottie gave to we'll.
known and influential institutions q
thousand dollars and a 15-minute talk
| worth a thousand more to persons
! with the proper consciences, and he
| felt that it was well worth giving
when the gate receipts were SO large
| He came to think that 1t would
have been better for him If he had be
| gun to give sooner in life, and his
mouth grew less hard solely from the
human feelings that surged up in his
| heart every time he handed out q
| check for thousand dollars and real
lied that the garden was packed at q
dollar per.
At the end Of the week he had giver
! away $4,000 and had taken in
$500, 900, and then, to show thai
his regeneration was genuine, he hired
the garden for another week an6
doubled the price Of admission
doubling also his gift.
And to show that he was no migrate
he gave the reporter a season pass
and allowed him to interview hin
| every day.
| Copyright, by James Pott & Coz
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-06-26

discussions awakened the echoes of
many dark night.
Old Linn sat smoothing his hand
kerchief across his knees. WELL"
said he, with woman the question of
marriage comes up before she has
Judgment enough to make good de-
cision. We know that at 20 a boy
is nothin' but a boy, but we expect
a girl at that age to be ripe enough
to take charge of household. At
90 1 had jest about sense enough to
take rabbit out of a trap. Didn't
have enough to keep out of a trap
myself. We talk about many virtues,
but, after all, looks, eyes, smiles and
hair are the main points to be consid-
cred in the question of marriage, and
as these things appeal more to woman
than to man, she is in the way to
make more mistakes. Common sense
ought to tell women that good-lookin'
men don't make the best husbands;
but that's where the trouble lies-the
lack of common sense. A curl hangin'
low over forehead and a sort of tune
to laugh counts more with the aver
age girl than the multiplication table.
And there may be more of snowy love
in the curl, but it won't build as many
fires in the kitchen stove. Any Teller
smiles when he goes courtin', but
the Teller that is most useful to a
community and at home is the one
that smiles some when he's at work.
The happiest time of girls life
is when she is engaged, for then she
has the dazzlin' promise of somethin'
that amt likely to be fulfilled. The
hero that she is goin' to marry gig.
giles and filters like June water
a babblin' down over moss kivered
rocks, but if weighed and put up for
sale in the market of common sense,
he wouldn't fetch as much as a side
of bacon. The trouble is she takes
him on looks, and he takes her the
same way, and after they have been
married awhile they find that their
minds are total strangers"
but how would you remedy it?"
come one inquired.
81 can't remedy it-and I wouldn't.
III WOuIu JIG Gil LltCl Will
natur' In the days of old it was
thought, and it is still alive in the
minds of smart men, that a good big
part of the human family was born
to be damned, and l reckon it was in.
tended that certain number of mar
riages were intended to be failures.
| And marriage is more Of d failure
now than ever before, because there
are more people to get married. The
more folks the more misery. If a
man and woman do the best they
can and their marriage turns out bad
it can't be helped. Divorce is a
blight on society, it is true. but to
| live with somebody that amt suited
| to you is blight on the mind and
| the heart We may have good many
lives to live; OF that we capt tell
| but we do know of one, and when that
| one is ruined, why we are in what
| the black bear said to the trap-a-s
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-06-26

the really. deserving. Address him at
the postoffice, naming amount desired
and giving your oath to requite him
by spreading abroad the good report
of his generosity.
Jabez looked troubled. II am afraid
that would be too widespread in its
effect" said ne. az expect to live
many years, and did not intend to
give you the impression that l wished
to divest myself of my means as a
man divests himself of his shirt-at
once. l thought / would be willing
to give something like thousand dol,
lars to some well-known institution,
and l am willirg-perfectly willing
to talk about it to the extent of a
column in your paper"
The reporter grew an inch. "Mr.
Holtite,' said he, IF you are actually
going to give a thousand dollars to
any sort of a charitable institution, or
even TO a college, and will promise to
let no newspaper hear of it before
we have chance to give it publicity,
we will be glad to devote our whole
first page to it because it will be in
the nature of absolutely startling
news. You have never given a cent
to any one in your life, as I under.
stand it?".
Never, unless l was SIRE would
get two cents in return" said Jabez,
with proud smile.
Then l suggest that you give your
money TO some institution that is
already heavily endowed and that will
thus be worthy of your unexampled
generosity. And the reporter nszsBd
such an institution.
Then he took down in great detail
all the facts in the life of Jabez as
seen by the millionaire himself, get
ting thereby a picture of the man
that no one else in the wide world
would have painted, and worth at
least six columns to the reporter,
who had it all for the mere taking II
down in shorthand.
The reporter was of grateful dis
position and, knowing that this inter.
view would spell success for him, he
wished to make return to JabeZ, and
being not only grateful but also wag
gish, the form of his return was as
| follows:
Mr. Holtite," said he, charity is
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-06-26
MAY CHANGE WARFARE.
General Grants Opinion of Hiram
Maxin's "Noiseiess Gun"

General Frederick d. Grant at his
headquarters in Carthage, y. Y, re-
Gently gave his opinion in regard to the
new '.noiseless gun" invented by Hi
ram Maxim r''
"A gun that may he fired and do exc
cution without noise would be a prin-
cipal factor in war" the general said.
"For instance, the enemy might creep
up 10 the sentry lines and kill the SEN
tries without alarming the camp. Shots
might be fired from any direction with
out those at. whom they were aimed
knowing from just what quarter the
missiles were coming
Il do not thoroughly understand Mr.
Maxims system yet but if what the
papers state be true the weapon is one
that will change the manner of CON
Quoting war"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-06-26

NJ. I.efort,5 secretary of the French
Choresraphic association, says the
French must thank America for q
dance which gives breadth of move
ment and expands the chest and lungs,
which is now popular in drawing
rooms. He says:
I'VE have started new dance called
the wave, more undu'atihg and gliding
than the Boston. These are great i'm
provements on Americas negro cake
walk, the inexplicabe, vogue Of which
is now past, The tendency for men to
learn only dances in which they hold
girls around the waist may be over
come by the Americans"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-06-26

Made in the latest shades OF brown,
olives and fancy stripes; regular value
$4,000 to $500; our price $500 to
5000
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-06-26

From the old log meeting house
arose charc, sweet echo of deter
mined past, the music history Of
Anglo-Saxon fortitude. The preach
er had not yet arrived. Beneath the
trees sat the wise men of the commu-
nifty; and when old Linn Jucklin got
out of his wagon, conducted his wife
to the door and came walking back
with his hands behind him, young
fellow we'll trained in manners arose
to give the chicken-fghting oracle a
seat He sat down, with his back
against tree, put his hat on the
ground beside him, uttered the neces-
sary commonplaces incident upon
meeting his friends, saw a needed rain
coming within two days, and then
after short silence remarked: Il
see that a jedge over at Raleigh in
grantin' divorce says there don't ap-
pear to be any doubt of the fact that
marriage is failure. From time to
time within the past few years have
hearn somethin about this here fail
ure on the part of marriage, but never
put my mind down on it till one of
our own jedges rendered his decision
in the matter"
Then Squire Brizintine spoke up.
and does it seem to you, Limuel,
that he has got anywhere close down
to, the truth?"
Out of his hat the old man took his
red bandanna handkerchief, wiped his
brow, and, spreading the handker-
chief across his knees, replied that it
was a matter that. needed some little
investigations Take the case of
little Sammy Peel" said he Mar
ried the wilder Buntin, that weighs
200. Don't appear to have been a
failure in his case" The boys laughed
and Squire Brizintine blew his nose
with a loud snort, for it was known
that not long after the death of his
wife he had paid court to the widow.
at is a question" old Linn contin-
ued, "that is a aggitatin'of society, and
has. been / reckon since the Lord first
flung open the front door of time.
And it is a subject that so many folks
are related to one way or another
that 1t sorter makes a Teller feel sad
to think about the opinion of the
jedge over at Raleigh. But the only
way to find put whether or not thing
is true Is to start an agitation and
keep it goin'. There are thousands
of men that stand ready to come for:
ward and swear that human life it.
self is a failure, and has been ever
since old Noah drank too much of his
own wine. There is a way to look
at everything and make 1t failure.
The Gospel itself is only success in
spots. And reckon its putty much
that way with marriage. If the right
spots amt found it amt the. fault
of the institution of marriage, but is
error in the Judgment OF man.
But how about the Judgment OF
woman?" Squire Brizintine put in
and the boys smiled. for in the neigh
borhood it was well known that the
Squire and his wife had with their
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-06-26
Municipal Bakery Test.

The city Of Budapest. Hungary. Is pre-
pairing to make a novel experiment In
the way of municipal enterprise. Bids
have been invited for a city bakery
with a daily capacity of $4,000 pounds
CT bread, The most recent designs OF
machinery viii be installed, and the
baking wifi be done by the continuous
process. The bakery will be under ex-
pert supervision.