davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26
a Terror to His Kind.

A certain congressman is the father
of bright lad of ten, who persists, de-
spite the parental objection and de-
cree, in reading literature of the half
dime" variety.
That's a nice way to be spending
your time" said the father on one oc-
casion. whats your ambition, any
how?"
Dad" responded the youngster,
with smile, 'Td like to have people
tremble like aspen leaves at the mere
mention of my name. "-Lippincott's.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26

car in spite of his verbal and fistic
protests, and the turkeys were hand
ed over to the hotel proprietor and his
cook to be prepared for the grand
public dinner
The short winter day came to an
end and darkness fell upon the plain,
hardly whitened by the snow that had
melted as fast as it had fallen. Sud
denly there was great excitement and
confusion at the hotel. Nothing was
to be found of the cook or of the tur-
keys which had been roasting for
hours in the oven of the hotel range.
The chef had been bribed in advance
by a willy Ashtonian, and with the
first shades of night he had stolen
away, figuratively and literally, with
the turkeys already done to a turn.
At Ashton all went merrily. The
oyster supper began decorously, but
when plates bearing small but in
dubitably genuine slices of turkey,
and generous helpings of dressing
flanked by quivering masses of Grim
son cranberry jelly, were swiftly
passed down the long table, a wild,
exultant shout went up that lifted the
roof of the frail hotel structure and
shattered the silence of a Dakota night
outside.
Among the unspeakable crimes Of
the great west that are still shrouded
in mystery is the bribing of the hotel
cook. The briber possibly still lives
in luxury, with his secret ali his own;
in some kitchen far away may still
preside the chef who accepted his cor
rupting fund.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26
Divine and Reniqn Goodness.

No sentient can return thanks for
anything else than absolute goodness
nor to anyone but recognized good
giver. Gods surname, which is indel-
IDLY written on the tablet of humanity,
is Goodness. And to the divine and
benign goodness the true heart eter-
nally comes and life forever whispers:
In the center of the circle
Of the love of God 1 stand.
There can be no second causes
All must come from His dear hand
Tact is one of a business mans
ro0cS ;paDor+opt aScofS
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26

Between being held up and blown
up, the average married man has a
strenuous time of it.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26
USED TO 1T.

Old Gent-Are you not ashamed to
stand there listening to such awful
language?
The Boy-Oh course amt. I'm a
golf caddie.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26

WE SELL GUNS AND TRAPS CHEAP
& buy Furs & Hides. Write for catalog l05
N. w. Hide g. Fur Co., Minneapolis, MINI.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26
Pettit's Eve SaIve for CSC.

sore eyes, quickly stops eye aches. All
druggists or Howard Bros, buffalo, N. Y.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26
FACTS EOR SIcK WOMEN.

For thirty years Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousands of
women who have been troubled with
displacements, inflammation, ulcera-
ton, f.5roid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, baclIache, that bear
ing-down feeling, tiatulency, indiges-
ton, dizziness or nervous prostration.
Why don't you try it?
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick
women to write her for advice.
She has guided thousands to
health. Address, Lynn, Mass.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26

Feet Ache-Uso Aliens FoOt-Ease
Over 900 testimonials Refuse limitations. Send los
Tree trial package. A. 8. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. x.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26

Mrs. WinsIow's Soothing Syrup.
FOR children teething, softens the gums reduces In
ANIMATION, aays pain, cures wind collie. CSC bottle.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26

Anacharsis: Laws catch flies and
let hornets go free.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26

True success consists in making the
most OF life's good and the best OF its
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26

A man who is continually breaking
his promises soon goes to pieces.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-11-26

HEN the railroad builders
invaded the great north
west, not seeking a passage
to the Pacific coast but
rather anticipating the de-
velopment Of an agricul-
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01
Your Attention, Please.

This paper still has a number of
subscribers who are yet more than
one year in arrears though they
certainly know ere this the ruling
of the Post-Office Department.
We have tried TO give all due no
tice. Again we must call attention
to the ruling which will necessitate
our dropping all such names from
our list, without further notice, if
their accounts are not paid either
In cash or note with approved Sc
curity. 1t will be impossible for
us TO carry these accounts on our
books after the paper is discontin-
ued. We again urge upon all such
subscribers the utter Importance of
giving this matter immediate at
tention.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01
"A Radical Ruling - Subscribers
Must Pau lJD.

The Postoffice Department at Wash
ington seems to have a particular spite
at newspapers, as well as at those who
are not able to or do n 1t pay i'm advance
for their paper. The ruling (Which is
now in effect) is, that if subscriber to
a weekly paper becomes more than one
year in arrears the publisher is required
to place one cent stamp on each and
every paper he sends to such subscriber.
Daily papers cannot, according to the
ruling. send out papers If the subscriber
is over three months in arrears, unless
postage is paid at the rate of one cent
for each four ounces. On account of this
ruling many weekly and small daily
papers will likely be forced to suspend
and the big dailies and trust publica-
tions, that TRUST no one, will reap the
harvest.
We have numbers Of subscribers on
our list who are more than year in ar
rears, but we are not afraid to trust them
and believe they will pay us when we
have a chance TO see them, but we can
not afford to place one cent stamp on
each paper every week las they probably
would not want TO pay this extra post
age), nor do we want to discontinue
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01
NUMBER lS
Murder Near Wdune.

Word has been received here
that one of tho worst murders that
ever occurred in this county took
place about one mile from Wayne
last Sunday night. John b. Con
rad. who was drunk, attacked his
wife and three year old child with .
poker. lie beat both of them into
insensibility aud made HIS esoape.
The child was dead when neigh
bors reached the Conrad home and
the wife at last reports was still
alive but unconscious. There 10 said
to be no hopes tor her recovery.
Prosecuting Attorney Fry aud 9TH
er county officers are after the MUIR
deror.
The following description has
been sent out:
"George b. V. Conard; weighs
100 pounds; dark complexion, dark
scar on right side Of nose, dark
eyes, black hair, thin black mus
tache."
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01
Death Was On His Heels.

Jesse p. Morris, Of Shippers, Va, had
a close call in the spring of 1906 He
says An attack of pneumonia left me
so weak and with such fearful cough
that my friends declared consumption
had me, and death was on my heels
Then was persuaded to try DIR. Kings
New Discovery. IL helped me immedi-
ately, and after taking two and half
bottles was a well man again. found
out that New Discovery is the best rem
edy tor coughs and lung disease i'm all
the world" Sold under guarantee by
Bloss Drug Store, Ceredo, and II. Ney
Williams, Kenoya. soc and $l.oo.
Trial bottle free.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01
". II. n. HOlSWade Dead.

w. III. Ii. Holswade, one of
Huntington's pioneer citizens aud
man highly honored by all who
knew him, died at his late home In
West Virginia's "second city" laet
Friday. He was stricken with
paralysis about five months ago
since which time there has been
but slight hopes for his recovery.
his body was buried in Spring
Hill cemetery, Sunday. In speak
ing OF the deceased the Huntington
Advertiser says:
"Mr. Holswade was born in
Spencer, Roane county, on Feb.
ruary 10, 1s47. His boyhood was
spent in Roane county until he en-
tered Marshall College here. After
graduating from Marshall he enter.
ed the furniture and undertaking
business here and has continued in
business, during later years in as
sociation with his son.
On May 6, 1872, while a student
OF Marshall College, he became q
member of the First Presbyterian
church and during all the years
which followed was faithful and
consistent follower Of the Nazarene.
On October 3, 1880, he was or
dained deacon in the church and
was for number of years preced-
ing bis death president of the board
of deacons.
He was also Mason Of high dc.
gree being past grand commander
of knights Templar of West Vir-
ginia.
Mr.. Holswade was married in
September, 1875, to Miss George
Ella Galliher. The latter died on
August IA, 1905. He has one
child, Frederick Holswade, who
has been associated with him i'm
business. He also leaves two
brothers both of whom reside in
Spencer.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01
New Spring StuIes.

All the newest novelties in Ladies'
Fine Footwear are now ready for
your inspection, consisting Of Ok
fords, Gibson Ties and Pumps, in
Black, Brown, Kid and Patents.
All the newest in buckles. We have
the greatest variety of styles ever
brought to this city. Four of the
best factories are here represented.
FRED BRUINS & Son,
26mar4w. Catlettsburg, KY.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01

sending them the paper because they
are negligent in settling. There is only
one thing for us to do. This is TO send
statements TO all our delinquent sub.
scrlbers (who have not recently received
statements), which we propose to do in a
Few days, and trust TO their honesty 10
settle up promptly, before we are com.
PEELED TO erase their names from our
mailing list. Remember, that while we
have trusted you and are willing to CON
tlnue TO trust you, the Postmaster
General says you are not a legitimate
subscriber if you owe for more than one
year.
WILL YOU PLEASE SETTLE?
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01
He Got what He Needed.

mime years ago it looked as II nv
time had come, I" says Mr.. @. Farthin9,
OF Mill Creek, Ind. Ter. II was so run
down that life hung on a very slender
thread IL was then my druggist rec
commended Electric Bitters. / bought
a bottle and 1 got what / needed
strength. l had one foot in the grave,
but Electric Bitters put il back on the
turf again, and I've been well ever
since" Sold under guarantee by Bloss
Drug Store, Ceredo, and II. Ney Will
liams, Kenova. Doc.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01

WE are Informed, not officially,
however, that a reorganization of
the navy yards of the country is in
progress which promises to save
millions of dollars 10 the tax payers.
We can only hope that this rumor
is true and that something is being
done to correct the extravaganza
and to introduce economics in the
yards which will place them in con-
dition somewhat approximating that
existing in private ship-building es-
tablishments.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01

THE twenty-siIth annual State
Sunday School convention of West
Virginia will be held at Fairmont
on April 21st to 23d, inclusive,
when prominent speakers and edu.
cational and religious workers will
assemble there to take part in the
work. The program which has
been prepared by the West Vir.
ginia State Sunday School AS
sociation is unsurpassed by any
former convention and the promise
of attendance this year is greater
than ever before, as some pastors
and teachers have planned taking
their entire classes to Fairmont.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01

Kennedy 3 Laxative Cough Syrup
the cough syrup that tastes nearly az
good as maple sugar and which children
like 20 well TO take. Unlike nearly all
other cough remedies, it does not con
stipate, but on the other hand it acts
promptly yet gently on the bowels.
through which the cold is forced out OF
the system, and at the same time IL al.
lays inflammation. Always use Ken.
nedy's Laxative Cough Syrup. Sold by
Bloss Drug Co. and Keneva DrugRists.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01

FREE! IGoRRoTE's PUZZLE. FREE.
To introduce we will give away
live thousand of these Igorrote's
Double Cross puzzles, made Of Phil.
ippine mahogany. Difficult and fas.
cinating. Write quick and enclose
four cents in stamps TO cover cost of
mailing puzzle, that's all. Address,
DOMINoCARDs Co.,
1907 Cbouteau Ave, st. Louis, Mo.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01

Their lords will pack AN extra shirt
And light out for the woods.

Their lords will pack an extra shirt
And light out for the woods.
The National convention of the
Populist Party will begin at St.
Louis April =. Wags have been
asking why it was set for so late in
the month. The moon will look like
Bill Taft on the 10Th. The big
leagues will soon be under way. The
American aud National will brain
about the 18th, but the Auti.Salo IN
League will get started a week earl
ier. Easter will occur on the 10th
and the 20th will be devoted to dis
cussing what everyone had on. Per-
sons who didn't have anything on
to speak Of will, of course, be un-
mentionable.
The sweet Elvira will to church
In rustling silks and tulles,
Which she will lift up to her knees
passing little pools;
And just because few mon look
No commits sin,
For else it were not known her clothes
Were new clear to the skin.
Persons born under Taurus are
bull-headed and have double COW.
licks. They are suspicious and
think the gas meter Is fast. They
are self-wIlled, but their wives can
make them vote dry. They are very
intelligent and. understand railroad
time tables.
The buds of May will ope their
fair and fragrant eyes, and a prom
ise of the coming June will gllmmer
In the skies; the crickets and the
katydids in sweeter songs will JOIN.
and the mint will put "In God We
Trust" upon our wicked coin.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01

WANTED:-We want two or three
men IN each county to place cata.
logues and advertise our Family
supply Union Department. SIS 90
per week salary with opportunity
Tor extra commissions. Permanent
positions. Address, LAKE CRY
WHOLESALE Co., 453 West card
St., Chicago, Ill. 11mar4w
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01

The life Of the modern battle shin is
put down at fifteen years.
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1908-04-19
Current Comment on Public Events

gospel failed to attract. Bible reading was
too dull, too insipid Heaven could not
win, nor could hell terrify. AS a last re-
sort the conspirators announced a plan of
issuing trading stamps to each child at
tending the sunday School and a given
number of stamps represents SO much cash
value which candy merchants have agreed
to accept in lieu of cash for the tempting
wares he has to SELL Now, we are told
all the kids in the community have flocked
to this Sunday School to the great delight
of the promoters of this plan.
1t would seem, then, that candy" is
more attractive to the infantie mind than
Christ" The c.lldren may stomach the
former but the latter will be found the hard
est pill for them to swallow. And of what
value will such showing be? The Sun
day School is precluding from claiming
any personal charm for the children in
that they admit their failure to win them
in a fair trial of orthodox merit, and bri-
berry has accomplished that which Christ
and gospel could not. When these children
grow up and are able to realize the imposi-
ton the church will be greater loser than
ever.
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1908-04-19
JET, JOSHUA AND JEHOVAH.

The late Col. Robert G. Ingersoll once
said: Heaven may have the best climate,
but hell has got the best society,"" and IL
recent accounts be true there is more
truth in that aphorism than many
would suspect. AS a matter of fact, a
tired world is informed that Curtis Jett, a
Self-confessed and admitted murderer one
of the notorious Kentucky mountain feu-
dists, now serving out a sentence of life
Imprisonment in the penitentiary, has re-
pented him of his past and through the eff
forts of a Lexington lady, so it is said, he
has been induced to confess Christ and him
crucified, led to conversion, and now, his
sins, though several degrees darker than
the symbolic scarlet, are whittier than the
SHOWS on the summit of ice-bound Mount
Shasta.
The story is pretty much the same old
gag that has been travelling around for a
century or two. 1t is here given that
hired assassin, a man who could willingly
take human life for a money payment, and
is known to have had hand in a number
of killings has fell to reading the bible,
has been convinced, and now, to use his
own language: II asked god to take the
revenge and murder out of my heart and
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1908-04-19
CHRIST OR CANDY.

What subtle plot What deep conspir-
acy! What treasons and stratagems the
faithful will resort to in order to prop up
and sustain tottering creed:
The art of medicine has been to success
fully administer nauseating decoctions and
compounds in the form of a sugar-coated
pill The covering not only successfully
concealed the contents of the interior but
actually deceived the patient and made
the bitter dose palatable. Orthodoxy, if
all accounts be true, is now trying to con-
ceal it's motive towards the little children
and intends feeding them the bible deity
with a sugared covering and are putting
forth sweet candies as a substitute for
Christ Through the bride just offered,
over the human mind.
In the old days, it is said, the maxim of
the priesthood was, when dealing with her.
etics, the end justified the means. Accord
ing to Denver reports their successors in
this day believe in the same doctrine and
practice. There is a marked difference,
however, in the means" employed by which
the burning of heretics body at the stake
while alive was deemed to be more merci-
full than allowing the hereto to destroy
his own soul. From a truly pious stand
point there is virtue in the claim When
judged according to modern notions the
fallacy is exposed. Now the professors of
that bloody faith, being compelled to aban-
don human butchery as an argument
against infdelity, resort to bribery in order
to entice children into their sanctuaries
and while having them corralled poison
their minds by examining their superstition
down the little ones threats. There was
something courageous, though brutal, about
the old method. The later, or the new
method, excites only contempt
The dispatches say that the children of
a little town in Colorado, known as Golden,
not far from Denver, positively refused to
attend Sunday School. There is some
thing about the mountain air that breeds
independence Anyway, the children did
not go. Sunday Schools were opened but
the boys and girls never darkened their
portals. The Jesus crowd felt chagrined.
They were mortified. The result was a
conspiracy After close communion the
conspirators agreed that something must be
done to get the yoke of orthodoxy about
the necks of these mountain tots. The
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1908-04-19

he heard my prayers. feel free from
every wrong l ever did l have killed my
fellow man, but god has seen cause to for
give me-"
Bully for god and also, bully for Curt.
What fine team they would make when
they get hitched together in the New Jer-
usalem. OF course, Curt having read the
new testament is now familiar with how
god aided his old-time advocates to es-
cape from prison, by sending an angel to
shatter the chains and open the prison
walls and again by having them let down
by wall in basket, but he hardly ex-
poets any of these things to happen for
him. Anyhow, Curt is convinced. But
convinced of what? Has there ever been
time in his checkered career when he
doubted either god or his book? And from
what has he been converted? Not from any
form of unbelief. Curt always believed
but did not profess it. Like the majority
of men he had never given any thought to
the subject and it Is dollar to doughnut
that he would not at this time except he
knew the Jig was up. In any event he
was in the nine-hole and no chance to save
losing the game.
The principal point to be considered,
however, is that as Curtis Jet is now con-
verified he is fit company for the angels
and must, perforce, reach heaven in due
time. Strange that the Commonwealth of
Kentucky should still consider him unfit
for the company of honest men and pre-
fers to keep him officially numbered and
tagged to prevent him from getting lost. It
may be that so few honest men are to be
found in heaven that upon his arrival Jet
will find a thoroughly congenial company.
Fancy Jet and Joshua getting together
and each trying to outbrag the other on
the number of men they have killed Then
Jehovah, himself is no SLOUGH, for his biog-
cides on his credit SIDE of the ledger. And
think of the number of angels that have
been sent to earth on a mission of murder
and slain thousands in a single night.
Truly Jet will find plenty of company
when he gets there. Under the circumstan-
ces we feel constrained to suggest a new
trinity as a shrine for Christian worship
consisting Of Jet, Joshua and Jehovah.
They are three of kind and when it comes
to bloodshed their hearts beat as one
The Christians are welcome to the trio
With either one of them playing a star
role In Kingdom Come, we surrender all
claim, right, title or privileges to a place
hell to being compelled to keep such COM
Blue-grass blade. [volume] (Lexington, Ky.) 188?-19??, 1908-04-19
WHEN THE LAW FALLS SHORT.

When the Rev. Robert Carson, of Rocky
Ford, Colorado, accepts another call to