davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
Bones and Their Places.

It was colloquy at north side butchers shop. "Oh,' said the little woman, that's an awful big bone in that small steak. l don't like to have to pay for all bone.'
 "Yes'm.'' said the butcher politely. but with touch of irony in his an swer, 'that do seem to be a good deal of bone, but the animals what's com in to this market now seems to have more or less bone in 'em. And really as animals is built now I don't see how they can get along without bones.'
 That may all be true" said the lit tie woman. and there was a wicked twinkle in her eye, but this morning l found good sized bone ir the sat- sage, and leave 1t to you, honest now. don't you think that is going little toc far:"
 And the butcher could not say a word in reply y.-Indianapolis News.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
Sheridan's Double Marriaoe.

It was in 1857 that the Gretua Green marriages were made illegal. X glance at it's registers may yet inspire the novelist of the future. One entry will be sure to puzzle. Twice within Il few days occurs the record of the maria -,, of Richard Brin>lcy Sheridan to Mis-, Grant. There waS only one R. B. S only one bride for the same gentleman. The double entries are not the result of any blunder on the part of the Rev. Mir. Vulcan. The parties were really twice married at Grctna Green. Arriv. ing on a Sunday they were duly wed. dcd, and sped away to Edinburgh, There, however, Sheridan chanced to glance at newspaper in which ap. peared the lucubrations of lawyer In these plainly stated was the fact that no contract executed on q Sunday Is binding. Clearly, then, their we'd ding was not legal. Back to Gretna Green they scurricd. to be remarried cn week day and leave the dual rec ord to perplex later generations of sympathetic searchers of the records.- St. James, Gazette
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
The euzzsrd In Elioht.

There can be no doubt that the buz- gard is the living aeroplane in perfcc. tion. It cannot sail against the wind except as other birds do-by sheer pow CT of moving wings-but it can sail at amazing speed before the wind. at sight angles to the wind and can sail within a few points of the wind
 When there is no wind its flight is ".umsy-vot much of an improvement n the flying of hen. Authors are 1ont to describe the bll2@ard as sail i,." In the sky on days when the earth pe:&nires l}e"nath q sultry. stiN atmosphere But it will also be re- sae,.!'."icd t,i#t these authors invari- a','v Lrccrihc the !,,.:-:::arh as being
 a >!rck i'll tllr bras>y heavens. As a matter of f&6:. tl!at is just tlc point of the hu2zar1's aerial knowledge. When there is Eo breeze close to the earth it is always to be observed rnoSt- Ing in a tree or fyin" lahoriously into the Zcni,h CL:i! it finds an uppe: cnr- rent. where it can navigate without la bor-\ew York Times.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
An Ambient h.ish Custom,

In the district known as "the baro-' of Forth" iii County Wexford, IrelaN Is to be found race of hardworki industrious peasants living in thatc' cottages with clean. whitewashed "; which by their perfect whitencss : once arrest the Attention of the visi; These people differ in many reSpo"' from the inhabitants of the other pa of the same county and have hat and customs peculiar to themsei ~ When q funeral takes place two We. en crosses are provided. On the V. to the cemetery halt is made e. certain spot by the side of the re, Here prayers are said for the decea>t.. after which one cross is deposited !a hawthorn bush or under it. The p't cession ther goes on it's way, and af's the intermert ,hc other cross is fy. at the head of the grave. This stra 2 custom dates from time immemoya 2 as the great pile of crosses by the roa aide indicates.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
Incidental Music.

One afternoon a couple from an ad Joining town presented themselves 10 a Boston divine and asked to be ma. red just as he was about to enter the pulpit to conduct an afternoon service The minister replied that he regretted that he could not at that moment con. ply with their wish, but that immedi Ltely upon the conclusion of the stlv ice he would take pleasure in perform ing the ceremony. The lovers af1e! demurring seated themselves i'll the rear of the church. When the minister had finished the service he made the following announcements: '"The parties who are to be joined in matrimony will present themselves at the chancc' Immediately after the singing of hymn 415, Mistaken Souls That Dream of Heavenr r"- Exchange.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
Big Jumps by Rabbits.

How fast do hares and rabbits run Perhaps you have wondered while ou, gunning and watched the elusive ami mals speeding away. According to ] G. Millais. the length of hare's stride is sbout four feet. while that of rab bit is about two feet. Under condi tions of fear the hare is said to leal ten to twelve feet. some authorities claiming that it can jump ditches tel to twenty five feet in width. A hare can jump upward perpendicularly five feet Rabbits can make leaps of six oi seven feet horizontally, but cannot jump higher than three feet. NhrN compelled to do so. it is said, rabbits can swim as well as dogs.-Phiiadel. phia North American.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
A Bright Bird.

The cuckoo is as likely to steal It's nest as to make it, but this fact docs not take from the point of the follow ing pun, quoted from Short Stories:
 A young Englishman being asked as dinner whether he would have sonie birds nest pudding, said. turning 'o his hostess: "Ah. yes. Birds nest pud' ding. and what kind of bird may have made it?''
 "Oh, 1t was the cook who made it. y was her prompt reply.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
NOTICE.

All owners of vehicle and dogs are hereby notified that license on same for the year 1908, will be due and payable on or before June 1, 1908. All licenses for special privilege will eX- pire May 31, and must be renewed on or before June l, 1908. Call at col lector's office and renew license on or before expiration.
 A. G. RUSSELL,
 City Collector Office hours 9 .@ .o -n.. City Hall Bu;'l'- '-1-30r
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
Not Always,

Remember my boy" said Uncle James as he gave Bobby coin, that if you take care of the pennies the shillings will taEe care of themselves :"
 Bobby looked trife dubious.
 'I do take care of the pennies" he replied, "but as soon as they get to be shillings pa takes care of 'em. ."--Lnn' don Tit-B Bits.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
4 Slur on . Great State.

It Is told of the Right Rev Daniel e. Futile. D. D., LL D.. who had been attending an important conference at Lambeth palace. London. that Gurin. a very formal function he and his wife were loudly announced as the bishop of Misery and Mrs. Tuttle:- Harpers Weekly.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29

T suffered habitually from const- patton. Doan's Regulets relieved and strengthened the bowels, so that they have been regular ever since "A. E. Davis, grocer, Sulphur Springs, Tex.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
Women in Pain

| should remember that there is remedy, especially adapted to wom,nly ills, and should take Cardui. l You have heard of this well-known remedy. It is composed of vegetable drugs that act in a medicinal manner upon the womany constitution.
 It has been found to relieve pain, and prevent it's
 currence. It has been found to build strength, to revtalize, and restore to health, weak sick, mser
 able women, of all ages in many parts of the world. N. Y, wrote q was passing through the change of life. and had been very sick. until l took Carlui.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
7orsorial Artistry.

Customer Oaeetiously)-Do you sul pose you can crt my hair without n:a!' ing me look like an idiot? BarGer "i: fidently)-It will be a pretty di@.'-s thing to do. but will try.-1-ippinco',' Magazine
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29

The new illusions i'll the "PaIacc Of Mysteries" at Forest Park are tru- Jy marvellous. The biggest ten cent show PiHa Bluff was ever offered.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
0escrinirc 2 Railroad.

Tue Pail Mali Gazette in 1890 asked its readers {" naI:e the worst railway in England. And one English kicker answered thus: "Sir-The Southeastern railway is the very worst railway in the world. The engines are asthmatic Its lamps are trimmed by foolish vir gins. It's fares are excessive It's car riageS let in the SHOW in winter and are furnaces in summer. It's motto i4 unrunctuality. Its principal station l. approached through the neck of q bot tie. It ruins the temper. destroys the digestion and enables one to realize tht horrors of Dante's Inferno l am sir, yours obedicntly, the Worm Who Turns'
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
Ncncommittal.

Guilty or not guilty"' Yes" responded the man at the bar Whats that" queried the court sharply
 "You asked whether l was guilty or not guilty. and of course am Of the two conditions I could not well escape both
 "But which are you?''
 "Aw go on. judge! Whats the jury orY'-Philadelphia Ledger.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29

Saying well rah,s.s j, laugh. po.'t well causes silence-Ersuch Prove,ii
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29

WATSON'S (Ner1e.Bone .MuscIe) LINIMENT. made to be superior all others on the market Per bottle $100
 WATSONS COLO MEDICO
 Two famous remedies of famous Veterinary Sur-d geon put in two separate bottles for horses mules and cattle suffering with spasmodic collie, aatulent coc and other forms of bowel troubles Per bottle s
 wATSON's BLAND HEALER
 Heals under the harness while they work Healsl without leaving unsightly One application keeps the flies off all day. Kills worms-is in- sect proof Per bottle, $1
 WATSON's LIQUID BLISTER. The long sought for remedy for bone lameness bone tumors and enlargements. caouses, abnormal CELLENCE when every other has failed Per bot tie, s1o0
 NATSON'S PURGE MIX. The physic for horses and mules. Actions sure and complete. Simple. effective and beneficial. Each purge given to horse mule gets results than ton of patent stock foods Per box $100.
 WATsONS FEBRIFUGE. Lessens fever-Aids in carrying off waste pro- ducts resulting. superior remedy which to acclimate stock. Per bottle $1o0.
 WATSON'S STAGGER REMEDY. 1 Saving hundreds of horses suffering with various forms of brain sickness Should be hand and used early to secure guaranteed results Per box s1.oo.
 SENT PREPAID ON RECEIPT OF PRICE.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-05-29
Are You HI?

Now am strong woman. My sistcg had always suffered with a pain in 4 her side, since a girl of 15. Since she \ took Cardui she has not been troub- M led with that pain and is gaining MN strength nicely. Cardui has been Ez9Gy God-scnd to us both. l recommend W;' it to all sick womcn."
 Try it for your troubles. MA,
 Your druggist sells it. s, v,v1rxvy rn~~ry 64-page Book for Women ENEE 6U(h treatment and valuable hin cses, Sent rse on request, tn plain r
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-11-24
GETTING THE HABIT OF
THANKSGIVING.

that these changes in our circum-
stances and experiences shall not af-
feet us in our inner life. That is
what Saint Paul meant when he said
that he had learned in whatsoever
state he was therein to be content. 1t
was no easier for him to have to suf-
fer and endure want and privation
than it is for us. There was no lux
ury to him in being cast into dun
geon and having his feet made fast
in the stocks. But he had learned not
to fret when his condition was I'M
pleasant. Wherever we find him he
is singing, never despairing. The
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-11-24
0e0e0 00Oe O0eG
. THE CAUSE AND CURE OF
NERVOUSNESS.
00e0o OooO Oeoooooeoooooeoo

DR.. Samuel McComb, the assistant
of the Rev. Dr. Worcester, Of En-
manuel Episcopal Church in Boston,
who last winter conducted "Class
for the Moral Treatment of Nervous
Disorders" writes in Harper's Bazaar
as follows:
valuable as is suggestion, it is
second in Importance to moral re-
education After all, one of the
main roots of neuraet1 henic misery is
a moral one-egotism The sufferer
thinks too much about herself, She
interpretsg the universe in terms Of
friendliness or hostility to her own
petty interests. She broods over real
or fancied Hist she becomes morbid
or melancholy; or she is the play
thing of hypersensitive conscience,
magnifying varied offences, the mere
crudities, lit may be, of an unripened
experience, into fragrant crimes
against God and man She passes her
time in dark and sombre reveries,
unable to do anything. burden to
herself and her friends. Well is it
for such a sufferer If she fall into
the hands of physician who is also
a moralist and psychologist. He
will, by persuasion and sound in
struction, seek to change the centre
of gravity in her inner life; he will
warn her against the power of atten-
ton and introspection to originate
and to develop states; he will stir her
latent interest and rouse her dormant
energies and capacities, in order to
make an end of fruitless inactivity,
and fill her days with peace and con-
tentment. The nervous woman
needs, above all things, mental and
moral re-education. She needs to
be taught how to keep healthy idea
in the focus of consciousness, and
how to keep unhealthy and morbid
ideas on the outskirts of her mind
Her emotional nature requires dis
cipline."
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-11-24

this golden organ. Nothing should
ever silence its music. Even when
the floods of sorrow flow over it it
Jhould still continue to rejoice and
sing.
One of the secrets of such life is
found in the cultivation of the habit
of thankfulness. Nothing less than
this will do. Most people have brief
hours in which their hearts are filled
with grateful feelings. and when all
the world seems beautiful to them.
But these sunny times soon pass. and
then for days they give themselves
over to discomfort and complaining,
Anybody can sing when walking amid
the flowers and in sunny ways; the
test of life comes when the garden
path becomes a bit of desert road
We are not fully ready for living UNI
til we have strength enough to carry
us through the hardest places and the
deepest glooms.
Thanksgiving Day is not intended
to gather into itself whole years
thanks. BY being full of gratitude
for the one day, we cannot make up
for three hundred and sixty-four days
of ingratitude. Every day should be
a thanksgiving day.
OF course. there is a difference In
the days Some of them are dark,
while others are bright, On certain
days things ssg;sgs9HRoh S 60 wrong with
n - GU Now I supp sansisus On
so or Hat the wild wga @ - = us, mns
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-11-24

Mrs. Jacob Harper, of Cross Keys
fell against the back OF chair and
was injured
John Ward was lodged in jail a.
Millville ON complaint of his sister
Eva of assault and battery.
The Rev. William v. Wilson, vel
known Baptist clergyman, died at his
home at New Monmouth, He wal
nearly ninety-seven years old.
Secretary Franklin Dye, of thu
State Board of Agriculture, has ar
ranged a Farmers Institute FOL
Woodstown on December II and ~.
Henry l.. Mates, church organis'
since 1847, died in Trenton, aged
eighty-two years. He was born IL
Easton, Pa, where most of his life
was spent.
After twenty-seven years and sis
months service as financial secretar,
of Fenwick Lodge. No. 1874, /. o. o
Fl, at Salem, George A. Citizens hat
resigned The lodge gave him gold
headed cane.
James H. Rowland, an old Mon
mouth Park farmer. who lives neai
Eatontown, bought an old violin a.
an auction sale two years ago for So
An expert who examined 1t declared
that the farmers antique instrument
IS worth more than $e1Ap.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-11-24

habit of Thanksgiving had been so
wrought into his life that nothing
could ever break it.
Just how to learn this habit of
Thanksgiving is the question. One
thing is to learn to trust. The cause
OF all complaining and discomfort is
want of trust in God. If we believe
in God as our Father, that He loves
us and will care for us, and put at
once into His hands all matters that
would disturb or fret us. God Him
self will keep us in perfect peace
Worry Is death to the Thanksgiving
spirit, while nothing so drives worry
from the heart as a thanksgiving
song.
Another thing that helps in form
ing this habit of thanksgiving is to
make sure of seeing the good and
beautiful things in life. This is a
lovely world 1t could not be other
wise, for it is our Fathers world He
made it beautiful because it was to
be the home of His children. Yet
some see nothing of the loveliness
which lies about them continually
everywhere. They are like men tour
ing through a country with glorious
scenery, in a stage coach, keeping the
curtains fastened down all the time
and seeing nothing
It is said that Mr.. RusKins guests
at Brentwood were often awakened
early in the morning By a knocking
at their door and the call. Are you
looking out? When, In response to
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-11-24
Journalistic Qualifications.

Qualifications for successful jour
nalism are acknowledged to be many
and varied, but new one is rather
amusingly emphasized in a Balti-
more EDITORS free and cas- reply to
North Carolina aspirant to jour
nalistic honors "A good literary
STYLE" writes the experienced news
paper man, lis less essential than a
good digestion The Journalist must
be able to digest anything and moth
ing. He must be able to go threa
days without food. :. The acct
dents and catastrophes which make
up the news of the world have no
regular office-hours. They happen
at any old time, day or night. When
they break loose the journalist must,
proceed to record them, and he must
stick to the task until they are re-
corded. AS a result, he must learn
to stretch the hiatus between lunch
and dinner until it attains the dignity
of geological epoch" AS to rapid
ity of promotion and the time re-
quired for reaching the top Of the
ladder, this painfully conscientious
editor says: The question has inter-
ested us very much, and we have lain
awake several nights figuring upon
an answer. Working it out carefully
after consulting more than 1000 jour
nalists and with the aid of the table
Of logarithms, the United States CEN
sus reports for the period 1S20-19OO,
and all available dream-books, we
have settled upon 265.7645364827
years. We may be wrong about the
decimals. but the 265. we are sure, is
reasonable correct The higher POI
sitions in journalism are well known
to be filled by men unreasonably
averse to dying or resigning, but
their tenacity of Office and of life has
never been SO startingly revealed as
it is by an intelligent study of the
foregoing figures. The Dial.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-11-24
WISE WORDS.
Worry is half of WEAKNESS.

Worry is half of WEAKNESS.
Paradise is not found by fleeing
from pain.
Revenge never is so sweet as when
forsgone.
The critical eye remains longest in
ignorance.
No man is undone as long as he has
work to do
You cannot bless men until you be-
lieve in them.
He is lost already to whom sacri-
fee appears as folly.
The saddest slavery is that Of being
ruled by our pleasures.
The sins we wink at to-day are the
ones we wed tomorrow.
Spiritually the most helpless are
those who refuse to help.
Life barriers that resist all force
crumble before friendship.
The fool is known by offering his
forethought after the event
Tomorrow burdens always prove
too much for to-day's back.
You have no right to set up your
fad as another mans faith.
Keep the heart healthy and happi-
ness will take care of itself
Nothing heals our own wounds
quicker than helping others.
Men are to be known by their aims
rather than by their origins.
If you would be far-sighted you
must learn to live on the heights
It's sad day when man let's his
interests determine his principles.
The secret of success lies some
where between wishing and willing.
The weariest man in this world is
the one who is running from work
Sometimes fleeing from the devil
is only pretext for fleeing from
duty.
Religion has no home in the man
who does not show his religion at
home.
The man who can make his chill
dren smile does not need to worry
over his inability to preach sermons.
From Sentence Sermons in the
Chicago Tribune.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-11-24

1t is pertinent, and not uncompli-
mentary, insists the Boston Tran
script, to speculate upon the induce
ments that attract so many women to
football games. A few of the gentler
sex understand all the fine points
of the game; large number appre-
ciate the instant's play that invites
quick and hearty applause, while the
remainder depend. either very frank
ly or quite surreptitiously, upon their
escorts or upon the blackboard's fig
ures for information as to how the
game is going. Why, then, all these
degrees of knowledge of the game
being considered, do so many women
find an evident and sincere enjoy
ment in attending a match? Prob
ably there are several reasons that
blended together afford an admirable
explanation of their presence. Ev-
erybody goes; it is great fun to watch
the crowd and the moments of spon-
taneous cheering furnish an excite
ment that is keen enough to be a
sport in itself Besides, there is the
pleasure Of being out OF doors That
counts for something nowadays by
everybody who is in sympathy with
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-11-24
NEW JERSEY STATE NEWS
Nn stranger slew OId Man.

William Read, the eccentric Grip
pie, Of State street, Vineland, who
was slain and robbed of money and
bonds in his home, was beaten into
helplessness with his own cane before
being shot and killed. Read was dis
covered lying in the dining room OF
his home by his daughter and her
husband William E. Cooper, after
their return from the theatre. The
cane was found hidden in feed bin
in the stable in the rear of the house
by State Detective Frank j. Lore. The
cane was readily recognized as the
property of the dead man. Hobbling
along the main thoroughfare Of the
town the old man was wont to stand
on prominent corner, and, shaking
his bludgeon, bid defiance to the
towards who, he declared, were
plotting to rob him. Who these cow
ards were the old man always refused
to tell According to Reads daugh-
ter the father was illiterate. Being
unable to read or write, all his bust
ness transactions were conducted
through Philadelphia attorney.
The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-11-24
Chair Trust Broken.

Atlantic City has a real trust bust
er" in District Court Judge Robert
Ingersoll He condemned the board
walk rolling chair octopus and put
it out of business. "The combina-
ton" he holds, formed apparently
to force from pleasure-seeking visit
ors the highest price possible, is in
the opinion of this court, against pub
lie policy" The case resulted from
an attempt of the combination to col
lect a bond for SITS from Morris
Sasloff who had given a rebate of a
quarter On dollar ride. Lawyers
for the trust showed that Sasloff had
signed an agreement to charge all the
traffic would stand, with the alterna-
tive of paying a $275 forfeit, but the
court ruled that the bond could not be
collected. AS a result the rolling
chair trust is broken, and visitors
may be able to ride several blocks
without having to hand over their
bank rolls.