davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04
Facing the Sergeant.

without trying to work up a smile-ex-
, cept one with ice in it.
Facing the Sergeant.
THE young men got to the bottom and
ran into the arms of policeman. When
they met him they said. Good evening
sergeant in that same peaceful, lamb
like tone. He told them they were under
arrest. and they looked real hurt
why says one of them, we didn't
do anything
THE sergeant. being man that's fond
Of the truth. gasped and swallowed hard
YES chimes in the second, we didn't
do a thing. We were just taking little
exercise
and we didn't do any harm comes
in the third one. mournful, I don't see
what call there is to arrest US.
well, after awhile the sergeant let
them go and they wandered off b,issfully
remarking as they went what nice
thing it was to take little exercise.
Now, there's an example. Those young
fellows We're nice and dignified young
men. But put them in the air little
way and they're as foolish as chickens in
a duck pond"
Having brought on this point in his ar
sument. the man with the ups and downs
proceeded:
Now. there was a case here once that
beat anything 1 ever saw. A motherIy-
=
Old-fashiOned bonnet walked into the ele-
vator timidly and asked to be put off at
the top floor. Ever since I have been
here I've made 1t a point to be kind to
old ladies. SO / told her that I'd be glad
to give her a comfortable PLACE in the
car and see that she didn't get off at a
halfway station.
up went. and when we got to the
top the old lady stepped out, not timidly
exactly, but more Like an outraged buff
falo or busted steam roller.
She walked to the window. looked down
and gave a little squeak Of delight. Then
she turned to the half a dozen other
people who were trying to enjoy the
sights and remarked that she thought
exercise was in order.
Il watched. not knowing whether she
was going to start a six-round bout or
instruct class in physical culture The
explanation comes when the old lady
will sing the Star Spangled Banner"
she says, an then she starts to boot il
in voice that made an owl sound like
Patti and CarusO combined.
Whooping Her Up.
oh, the sta-ha- ha-r-rr sp-spangIed
ba-a-a-anner.' she whoops, still waving
the flag. and when / started down it
looked like somebody was liable to lynch
the old girl if she didn't quit"
The elevator man is prone to take the
various peculiarties exhibited by those
who, for the first time. are visiting the
Monument, in a humorous light They do
not worry him, lie says, and they rarely
continue their eccentricities after they
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04
JUST TO WATCH f1In JUMP

have visited the place two or three times.
In his opinion it is sort of mild delirium.
partially the result of the excitement and
novelty of the situation and partially due
to an embarrassment caused by their I'M
familiarity with their surroundings.
There exceptions to Ilc rule. If
there were no exceptions. he argues. the
rule would be unique. But the exceptions
are rare. The man visiting the Washing
ton Monument for the first time is nearly
always guilty of some unusual behavior.
'One young couple that came UP here"
continued the elevator man pensively.
proved an exception that has always
remained with me in my mind. l remem-
Der them as standing out in the list Of
exceptions.
He was a rather thin. nice-looking fell
low with pale yellow hair and pale blue eyes
guarded by heavy glasses. She was a deli
cate, pretty little thing about nineteen
years old with a complexion like a peach
and eyes that were as soft a fawn's.
They blew in here one hot day and it was
easy bet they were on their honey
moon. With them was an old lady whose
face looked as kind as If it had been cut
out of piece of granite with a meat
cleaver She had habit Of saying John
and Miriam in voice that would have
made book agent blush.
These two young children marched to
the top of the Monument as brave as
could be. the man holding on to the girl s
arm as though he was afraid he was go
leave it in the elevator. When they got
TO the top, they got hit with the regular
fever and commenced to squeal like a cou-
pie Of kids. The little girl danced around
on her toes and the young fellow grinned
like he'd found some money and said
Amt 1t grand The old lady didn't say a
word, but just kept her mouth shut and
gave an imitation of a sphinx nursing a
crouch.
Turtle Doves Get Epidemic.
"After while the two youngsters COM
menced to get foolish.
I'm going to drop one of my cards
down and see where it will land, says
John.
"'Oh. soody. goody,' says the girl clap
ping her hands.
THE young man got out his card and
was just about to throw it out of the
window when a voice like the voice of
doom interrupted him. 1t proceeded from
the old lady.
John, if you haven't any more man
that please have some respect for your
poor wife. she said
We'll. sir, that voice and those words
would have paralyZed a hydraulic engine.
John fairly crumpled up in a heap and a
'Oh-pleaSe-take-me home loci came over
his face. The poor little wife b'ushed
too and said. oh. mamma, in a voice so
full of tears that you could hear it SPLASH
But the foolish season ended ri-ht
there. Nobody could be foolish with nat
mother-in-law looking on. Il WIS like
trying to play tag with mad elephant
That was one case where everybody went
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04

downstairs without any hilarity and
peacefully left the Monument without
making any record for tomfoolery."
At this time of the year there are many
tourists visiting the Monument, and an
appreciable percentage of the visitors are
youngsters who have just plunged into
me somewhat treacherous sea OF matri,
mony. Frequently they are accompanied
by their parents. These cases are the
ones. as a rule. that make up the eXcep-
ton to the rule of dementia caused by a
trip to the top OF the Monument.
Even the animals are affected by the
universal law. says the elevator man. He
usually uses this statement as a prelude
to the ancient story Of the cat which was
chased by dog to the top Of the Monu-
ment, and which jumped out, followed by
the ambitious but injudicious canine The
dog fell the distance and met with Il
shock at the bottom from which il never
recovered. The cat escaped unhurt.
And as for real bugs" continued the
around the Monument than you do in
any asylum in the country. 1t is won
derful what questions they ask l some
times feel like joslling them just to see
how much they will swallow. 1 used to
try 1t, but they believed so much and
repeated 1t SO often that l got scared and
stopped it.
Some Foolish Questions.
The other day a woman came in here
anu dShco HE Will kept the monument
from falling You wouldn't think a person
could ask such a question as that, would
you? But she did. and she seemed real
disappointed when she learned that it was
simply the walls that held it UP.
Some of 'em come in here and ask
me how l like my work. And what L
would do in case of fire. There amt a
piece of wood in the entire Monument
and fire is an impossibility but they
keep on asking what I'd do just the same
THE richest of the whole lot was a
woman that came in here one day looking
kind of wild and worried.
is this the Monument young man.?
she asked.
Il was busy inquiring if shed mistaken
it for the District Jail when she springs
another one on me-
= What makes the elevator go so high?'
she asks
Because it's built tina; way I says.
If it should fall what would happen?'
is her next.
Il tries to tell her as polite as I could
that that was something 1 didn't like to
think about
But if it did, she insists
Il tells her that in all probability some
body would feel hurt at the finish if il
fell.
- oh. do you know she says kinder
pleaGn', Id just love TO see il fall
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04
Us The 5TARR-R SHANGLEp BANrIERR

Now. can you beat that? That is the
kind of bug I'm buckin' all the time.
They used 10 get on my nerves. but they
don't any more. I've got used 10 them
by this time and they don't worry me
at ALL
The elevator man paused a moment
from his narration and spat refectiv.ly
upon the sidewalk. As he finished the
operation two solemn Swedes their broad
eXpressionless faces blankly staring at
the tall Monument. marched up 10 him
and asked to be directed 10 the elevator.
The man of ups and downs. being an
obliging PERSON. directed them to the ele-
vator and offered to escort them -up
Now watch" he said as the party en-
tered the car
AS the car slowly and gently rose the
Swedes seemed to lose their diffdence
and self-consciousness. They gasped in
awed admira ton
Finally the car reached the top and
stopped. The two foreigners stepped out
and marched over to the window. Ec-
stasy was outlined in every feature. JOY
was described in their heavy faces.
Gus. Aye hane goin' to trow my hat
out da window" said one.
"fass. so am L. said the other SOL
EMMY.
Arm-in-arm the two walked over and
hurled their broad-brimmed hats far out
before they could be stopped. Grinning
and talking they We're taken downstairs.
where they regained their normal COM
posture.
What did tell you?" said the eleva-
tor man soler1nly, that's exactly the
way it hits most Of them.
And he walked away
Monument Sidelights.
Among the many foolish stunts TO which
Monument visitors are addicted to the
stone-chipping habit. II the police and
employees of the building had eyes in
every square inch of their anatomy they
could not watch the clippers. who look
upon piece of the building stone as the
ultima thule Of souvenirs. Here and there
throughout the building their "pernicious
activity" is apparent. while the man and
woman with the pencil and the ambition
to write their names in public places have
left their names for the admirinS ewes CT
future visitors.
Some OF the near-tO-hOme visitors 10
the Monument like to do unusual things at
the topmost place they can reach. and "A
favorite diversion of theirs is to bring their
lunches along and eat them way up while
their eyes drink in the surrounding
scenery. which is truly beautiful.
y very unique fact in connection with
the tall shaft is that there are thousands
of Washngtonians VINO have never visited
it. They see its glaring Wilderness from
everywhere and they know it is there.
and that satisfies them.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04

Special Correspondence Of The Star.
ST. PETERSBURG, September %. 1905.
HAT the tsar's recent sensa-
rional dismissal of the Grand
Duke Nicholas Nicholevitch
from his exalted position Of
president of the council of ma
tional defense was anything more than a
sop thrown TO the indignant, public, no
one. who knows the real conditions that
govern the Russian army and the true
strength of the. grand dukes. believes.
That it can possibly forebode reform in
the service even the most optimistic can
not bring themselves TO hope.
There is a very general opinion abroad,
based on nothing tangible. that the inc
vitable result of the Russo-Japanese war
would be the institution of widespread
reforms in both the army and navy of
Russia The glazing defects then shown
TO exist III both departments. the deplor-
able state of rottenness and stagnation
due to incompetency and dishonesty.
would arouse the country and the bu-
reaucracy. il was thought. to universal
national housekeeping. But far from
such being the case-both branches of the
service are in far worse condition to-
day than they have ever been at any
previous cate. The enoi NOUS losses of
the war with Japan have not been made
good. and il is a fact that aside from its
immense natural resources the land of
the tsar Is absolutely at the mercy OF
even the smaller of its neighboring ma
tons of Europe.
Despite the fact that the average Rus
sian soldier gets only cents day, the
tsar's immense peace army of about
100000 men costs $40 100000 a year TO
maintain; and when il is taken into &C
count that this sum is supposed to be
spent entirely upon maintenance and that
il does not include the building of new
barracks or Notifications, the purchase
of ammunition. the upkeep oe hospitals
or the supplying OF the modern soldier S
equipment which forms SO heavy an
item in the army budget of other coun-
tries ii will be realized 10 what an ex-
tent the Russian people are being bllked
by thoca -intrusted with the expenditure
OF this immense amount.
To what extent this national robbery
has be-n going on can also be Judgeo
from the fact that, in the opinion OF one
of the leading military authorities OF
Russia no less Il sum than $lJO,OUWo j.
Immediately needed TO provide absolute
necessities for the army-to provide nos
pitfalls for the sick. barracks for the We'll
guns for the proficient. ammunition TOT
the rifles, and clothing and food to make
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04
'BrR-!u! ?::Bn1PTY-
Bl1r1P-:!!- BR-R-RR
GANG BANG
.CRAGHI.--

VISITORS Get Giddy and
Y Act Silly and Giggle and
Sing and Are Guilty of Other
Queer Antics-The Why of
1t From Two Standpoints-
AS the Elevator Man, the
Man of the Ups and Downs,
Sees the Crowds-The Fiend-
ish Frivolity That Urges Peo-
pie to Throw Things Down
From the Topmost - Meek
looking Students and Their
Performance in the Rarehed
Atmosphere of the Sum-
mit-The Dear Old Lady
Who Would Sing the Star
Spangled Banner"-Vandals
Who Chop Out Chips for
Souvenirs - Many Washing
ton People See the Monu-
ment Every Day, But Never,
Never Visit 1t.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04

men are half starved. weak and unable
20 do their duties properly.
Practically the same thing happens with
fl"'r hCnts. uniforms. blankets and even
with their rifles, horses and fodder. The
ieat her out of which their boots are made
Is of IN inferior quality solely because
one account is rendered to the war office
and another, totally different to the resi-
ment. The officers pocket the difference.
On very rare occasions this dishonest way
of adding to his pay gets an officer into
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04

an awkward position. Not long ago the
governor of the Warsaw fortress, Col
Easbek. reported that seven political pris-
oaers under his charge had walked out
of the fortress in broad daylight after
showing forged discharge sheets signed
with his name and sealed with his seal.
The forgery was so splendidly done that
even the clerks in the Office were de-
ceived by the documents and gave the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04

saries. The consequence of the first kind
of bride is that the soldier who is able
to supply money to the impecunious Off
Ger need never appear on parades. attend
drill or get up early in the morning to at
tend the riding school, He can come in
when he pleases and go out when h"
likes. His uniform is better made and
his boots more comfortable than those
OF his poorer comrades. He eats diff
ferent food brought from good rcstau-
rant. because he can pay for II ard is
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04

Washington Monument elevator, seemed
pessimistically inclined. He patted his
chin gently as he watched the open door
through which visitors entered before ask
ing him "is this the elevator that takes
you to the top of the Monument?'
Perhaps there was reason for this sud
den depressin in the jovialty Of the man
Of the ups and downs. That very morn
ing he had hauled up party consisting
of five ancient spinsters and two equally
aged men. The delegation had persisted
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04

permitted to do so by his superior off,
GERS When his time is up he either stays
on as an officer-having had no training
whatever-or goes into the reserve. II
useless adjunct of the army only called
upon i'm case of war and made up of men
who, although they may have seen serv-
ice. have learned nothing but the color
of their uniform or the length of their
swords, but although this scandalouus
state of affairs is very generally recog-
niZed among those in command, nobody
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04

Els. when people get in the
Washington Monument they
seem to get foolish"
The man of the ups and
downs. the guardian Of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04

without trying to work up a smile-ex-
cept one with ice in it.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04
The Two Sorts of Brides.

Brides are of two sorts and come from
the sons of well-to-do people who have
to serve in the ranks or from those who
wish to supply the regiment with neces-
The morning journal-courier., 1908-06-16
TEXT OF VITAL
 PLATFORM PLANKS
(Continued from First Page.)

to sugar and tobacco as will avoid in- jury to domestic interests,
 we declare for such an amendment of the statutes of procedure in the fed eral courts With respect 10 the use of the writ of injunction as will on the one hand prevent the summary Issue of such orderss without proper consider alton and on the other will preserve undiminished the power Of the courts to enforce their process, to the end that justice may be done at all times to all parties"
 The currency plank contains this lan- guage
 "The republican party approves the Aldrich- Yreeland currency bill, but only as an emergency measure, We declare for a thorough and new system of cur rency laws that will be in accord with the needs of the times and which will be more adaptable to the demands of business and more elastic in its charac- ter as a circulating medium
 The trust plank which at first arous- ed some opposition, Is now understood to be aceeptableto all elements of the party
 The explanation of that Is that upon first reading, the plank seemed to be an exemption extended to lapor unions and farmers associations rom respon- not the intention was soon discovered and the language of the plank upon closer scrutiny was passed as unobjec- tionable.
 Opposition to the tarir plank seems to have disappeared absolutely on the ground that the party has irrevocably pledged itself 10 tarift revision at a certain time and along indicated lines.
 As to the railroad rate plank, the op- position will be keen on the declara ton In favor of federal supervision of the issuance of stocks and bonds. but this phase of the fight has as yet re- mained under cover.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-06-16
NEW BANK OPENED
Connecticut Savings Gets Into It's New Home at Last Many Inspect the
 Building.

The new Connecticut Savings bank at Church and Crown streets opened for business yesterday morning at o'clock, and all day long was subject ed to q run of interested visitors. Each and every one, those who drop ped in out of curiosity as well as to deposit, agreed that the new marble building with Its beautiful interior, was a model one The first deposltors were Edmund and Ernest Silk, sons of the bank bookkeeper. Edmund silk. Among the visitors during the day were Henry r. English, son of the late Governor English, first presi- dent of the bank. Governor English secured the charter for the bank when he was in the legislature in 1857, Mir English, the son, Is now vice president. with Burton Mansfield president.
 The banks effects were removed from the old building at Church and Center streets after closing hours Sat urday afternoon. Although the bank has deposits of s10,000000, by far the larger part of this cash is out on mortgage, so that there was not so very large q sum to remove to the new banking house one short block away
 The building has been about two years in construction and when con- tracts were awarded, the management expected that the building would be completed in year and half.
 Tho interior Is not completely fin ished, and it will be several weeks before this work Is finished. The Trustees room In the rear Is vain scotted In mahogany and is a very finely appointed apartment
The morning journal-courier., 1908-06-16

(continued from First Pase.)
The morning journal-courier., 1908-06-16
sAENGERFEsT STAGING FALLS.

Meriden, June 15.-One of the most interesting features of the State saen- gerfest here today was the singing con test at Poli's theatre In the afternoon In the third class was the Teutohia Maennerchor, New Haven. The prizes will be awarded tomorrow night.
 After the singing contest this after. noon and while a rehearsal of the massed chorus was being held, the staging on which 300 men were seated collapsed, but fortunately with no ia talities. A score were bruised and q Waterbury man, Frank Faeth, had small bone in his leg broken.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-06-16
YESTERDAYS FIRE RECORD.

6:4S a. m.--Box 24; Bradley's Yale lunch room at Chapel and High streets Damage slight.
 2:4o ?. m.-Box 715i shaving room of Joiner shop of C. W. Murdock. in rear of Mansfield lumber yaro, Grand ave- nue. Damage slight. i 5:Ss ?. m.--Still Campony No. 5. gro- cery store of Samuel Brooer at 204 Chapel street. Damage slight.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-06-16
Attempt to Shut Miller or.

Miller arose to speak again and Jacobs tried to cut him off with the point of order that he had already spoken twice. President Allen told him that if he insisted the point of order was good, but that 1t was one which was not well to insist on in the board as 1t had q boomerang effect Jacobs withdrew it thereupon.
 Miller then explained that he op- it affected the revenue of the present
The morning journal-courier., 1908-06-16
Jacobs Is Opposed.

and the motion to table was lost as state above.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-06-16
BRYAN SHOWS INTEREST.

Lincoln, Neb., June 15.-wm, J. Bry- an showed interest tonight in sucn convention news as came from Chicago, particularly the proposed blanks in the platform that were made public and the decision of the Nebraska delega- ton to present the name of Governor Sheldon for vice president. He would not, he said, make any comment prior to the adoption of the platform.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-06-16

Regular $3 Swing seat with attachments. Built for two! Only nine left! None reserved! Will be sold to first biddersl Increase the comfort power of your piazza or lawn by getting one of the nine!
The morning journal-courier., 1908-06-16
SENATOR BAILEY IMPROVES.

New York. June 15.--Improvement in the condition of Senator Joseph W. Bailey of Texas, who Is i'll at the Wal dorf Astoria, was reported tonight. IL was said that his fever was steadily de- creaslng and that in the course of a few days he would probably be able to leave his apartment.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-06-16
STOLE CAKE OF ICE.

Two peculiar cases of theft came be- fore the police last night, when Ed ward Carroll and William O'Donnell were arrested by Patrolman Cooney on the charge of stealing q cake of ice from an ice wagon It Is claimed that they later sold 1t to saloonkeeper in Oak street. The cake was worth forty cents.
Tombstone epitaph., 1908-12-06
s. P.TO BUILD CUTOFF
Two New Roads Projected in Arizona Which Will Shorten Distance Be-
 tween Phoenix and Fl PasO.

The new map of the Southern Pa cific which has just been issued, shows in the guise of new features two little red lines that mean A tremendous lot to the people of Globe, says the Silver Belt. One of these lines starts from Lordsburg. x NJ, comes up through Guthrie, and joins the Gila Valley, Globe & Northern at Solomonville; tine other starts from San Carlos, about thirty-fve miles from Globe, .Li joins the line already built from Winkelmsn to Phoenix. The pres. ence of these lines on the map may be taken to indicate that the company cOntemplstes early constructisn of the long-mooted short cut which will bring it's main line as near 10 this city az San Carlos, shortening the distance to Phoenix by several hun- dred miles and materially lessening the run to ElPaso and Los Angeles, cutting down fares and freight.