The morning journal-courier., 1908-01-25
Yale Weekly Publishes a Witty Article on the Stag as a
 Social Vanity.
FABLE OF A COLLEGE CYNIC
The Stag is Free Lance. a Soldier of Fortune, But He Plays the Only
 Wise Mans Role.

pitrdSclt ,IOu Slldii totdp HUH iicis but the fool shall be taken by her. Ecclesiastes z 26.
 To the unattached made known as the Stag" the Prom is the vanity of vanities and the 'fusser" the fool of fools. For the latter is so worried about tickets, carriages. meals. teas, flowers, wraps, and plans of all sorts that his very efforts to provide a good time effectually prevent him from either enjoying himself or entertaining his lady. except with the help of other men--a vicarious kind of enjoyment which does not strongly appeal to him. The poor. misguided creature sacri- fees his scholarship standing, all his extra cuts, his whole pleasure in the affair and most of his patrimony; in fact, he Is so reluctant to call upon parental shekels to the extent of keep ing place with wealthier friends that he decides to retrench in his cash expen- ditures-by running up billst It Is pitt ful to see strong man so shorn of his strength, and so infatuated that he en- ters into the affair deliberately; (take
  a woman in the easel; in the end he must come out of 1t feeling that the game is not worth the scandal and that all Is indeed vanity and vexation of spirit. And in the last place, the lady herself usually contributes to her hosts lack of enjoyment by calculated com parisons between her own dance-card, flowers, prom-box, or concerts seats and those of more fortunate charmers; or, at least, she will cut his dances and slight him in general, since she is sure of him, in favor of new worlds to con quer. Then she writes in her bread and-butter letter, You're a heavenly host" Yes; but with the heavenly hosts, we are told, there is neither marrying nor giving in marriage; and she frequently concludes with a post script announcing her engagement to someone else! The Stag loquitur: What Is woman? word. What is in that word woman? what Is that wom- an? hot air. A trim reckoning! Who hath her? he that invited a guest Doth he see her? no. Doth he dance with her? no. She's invisible, then? Yea, to her host. But will she firt with the Stag? yea, verify. Why so? dis traction demands it. Therefore I'll none of her. Woman is mere figure of speech: and so ends my catechism."
 No, the free lance the soldier of for tune, the Stag heartwhole and fancy free with nothing to lose and every thing to gain, is the only role for a Wise man. He has all of the fun and none of the bother or expense. He will be invited to teas and dinners; he will be summoned to sit in choice boxes at the concert and the prom; from all the belles he may select the few to be fa- vored with his attentions. and steal dances wheresoever he may desire and, to the impressionabe fair sex. he will appear to be the fascinating wom- arl-hater, the gay young buck the n,acaroni, heart-breaker, and catch of the season: what a rosy vision!-And then, when he chooses, he can be alone and seek the relief of places and pleas ures flor men only" without the haunting fear that he has allowed a moment to pass without some enter tainment planned for his never-satis- lied guest. He may even find time to ponder dispassionately. instead of merely cursing, that inscrutable decree of the powers that be in accordance with which the afternoons and even ings of three days are officially given up to festivities, while recitations are held through the day.
 Musing thus the Stag approaches his dormitory entry; as he passes through the hall and up the first flight, door open below and he hears a feminine chorus-"O, what sweetly pretty window seat!'-"And that fire place,- isn't is just dear?"- Billy, did you get that love of silver cup for a foot ball prize?" No Gin deeper tones) that's my shaving mug" "Ahl' sneers the Stag, "'the cracking of thorns under a pot. Although that may be all right for the idyl rich I prefer the life simple poor but hon est." So he goes up to his room, deep 1y grateful for possessing one sanc- t.Iary inviolate, but finds to his utter disgust that his roommate is giving a sCd tliclC tdllu llfLlutHIdllH IS WPdf1llE the Stag's frock-coat). The eternal feminine" mutters he, savagely; "N. B. for eternal read infernal'," and he slams the door on a torrent of girlish giggles and gush. Discounted. the irate Stag now strides along to Mory's. only to find it like convention of the " c T. U. Filled with despair and fore bodings of approaching madness he fin. ally staggers blindlv to 8 bench on the green, where he can relieve his sur charged feelings by swearing himself faint. Some hours later. still cursing feebly, he timidly sneaks into his room in order to dress for the concert and German. 70. why did God create this fair defect of nature?" he murmurs brokenly; ''but tonight I'll show 'em how to fuss. just to get evenr'
 Singularly enough. however. At the concert he is not invited to q box and cannot break through the sorried ranks of Glee club men. chaperons, and hosts; 30 he is forced to join the long lines of those who only stand and rubber"
 Like outcast spirits to wait
 And see through heavens gate
 Angels within it
 This Waiting Church bushes: does not commend itself to him; bu he solaces himself with the motto Shall I. wasting in despair. die be cause wonan's fair?" and presses or to the German. Here he meets witt unexpected reverses; his promised dances are cut. his eclecticism is ham psred by a very limited acquaintance he Is mistaken for waiter. gets nt supper, and leaves early in the game Bitterly he resolves that only for tn, more matrinlonially inclined. Sic tran sit gloria Monday.