The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-02-02


were having final goodnight word
in the corridor. The genial proprietor
heard the suggestion. intercepted the
barkeeper on his way to bed and tbs
four Of US went in and had lone on
the house
/ When the show was in washington
/ scores of distinguished statesmen
/. fiocked into rhe tents. If Congress
happened to be in session the hall OF
the House and the Senate chamber
We're practically deserted. So numer-
Gus were the high officials at perform
anees that the press agent with the
show never got deeper than the Pres
ident and his family or Cabinet officers
Specially invited. Local newspaper
men always cheerfuily pointed out the
rest.
Big Tom Reed always reminded
me that men are but children grown.
His hearty laugh could be distinguish
ed over all the rest. He was a great
quiz, as well as satirist. One time he
was standing before the cage contain
ing a rare specimen Of the biue-nosed
mandrill The usual gaping crowd
was about the monkeys cage. In his
customary nasal, drawing voice he
addressed himself to me: Mr., Hamli-
ton. I'd just like to ask you. conf
dentialIy. how do they hold the animal
down 50 as to shade him up like
that?"
'Confdentially." in a rasping voice
like Reeds. was quite enough to cause
a general smile, while the suggestion
that the mandriIl was merely a paint
ed monkey was not new.
''T'll ask the man who did it, said
I. turning to the. keeper. The latter
replied without hesitation: ''Oh, we
just put a collar around his neck. and
a strap across his back, kind o. spread
eagle, see, taking care to put feathers
on his claws. and then we put on the
color with a brush. It's very simple"
'sY-y'ass. 7 see" said Reed, delight
ed at our ready acceptance of his
humor, while the crowd Uttered.
..And does it take long to dry?''
only a few hours" answered the
Snowman, as gravely as Reed himself.
At this point the question was taken
up by a highly indignant spectator,
and we wisely escaped the heated con-
troversy that was sure to follow But |
Reed chuckled audibly as we moved |
away.
And this is the mighty behemoth |
that sweats. blood said he, drawing
up before the cage of the hippopota-
mus. whittier several of the crowd had
followed us.
mo, it's a hippopotamus," remarked
a belligerent bystander, and It don't
sweat blood any more than you do"
Reed looked at the little odd man
with inward amusement.
Its merely showman's lie-to
please FOOLS added the frascible lit
tie man. mo such thing in ali ma
ture."
Indeed" drawled Reed. ''W-a-a-l,
now. you know, Mr.. hamilton. I've
been painfully, outrageously deceived.
I've always been under the impress
aion-in fact, I've seen it in the adj
vertisements-t this animal
Wen. it's a le!" interrupted the
choleric gentleman. while the crowd
laughed delightedly.
Perhaps it win kindly sweat for
Mr.. Hamilton suggested Reed, with
a twinkle in. his eye that was irresisti-
BILE. "He has doubtless often sweat
blood for it,"
The keeper. taking the tip. serapad
the flank of the monster with stick,
and showed it over the rope to the
curious. The stick was covered with
the odd, varnish-like substance which
that animal exudes.
Blood. by craeky.'' declared Reed.
with an affectation Of relief.
The little old man gave him one look
of scorn and snea4zed away, amid the
laughter of the crowd.
This reminds me that the general
knowledge of natural history is next 1
to nil. and that mature takers" as
President Roosevelt calls them, have
a pretty clear field.
A certain popular United States
Senator asked me one day if the alu
gator was not closely allied to the
shark. Everybody of middle life VIII
remember the ease wRh which the
ate Adam Forepaugh humbugged
scientists and public alike with his
bogus white elephant.
They have left the work Of the
Snowman nature faker an easy job.
And the man in uniform in front Of a
age can spread more misinformation
han any naturalist, because he is IN
and we always believe man