The Lamar register., 1908-11-25
FOR DEcEM sER.

"A HlChel mere anu ulChel lHeTe
A two-bit piece will fill the tum
OF some small celebrant with gum,
Nigger-toes, peanuts, bum-bum,
Apples, raisins, lemon drops,
Popcorn, suckers. caramles.
Filberts. taffy, butterscotch,
Walnuts, figs and angel cake
Save for the Christmas belly-ache.
Save, brothers, save your dough,
Save for the stockings in row
A four-bit piece will buy sled,
A pair of boots upholstered red,
A doll with skull grass on her head.
A Teddy bear, horn, drum.
An airgun. jack-knife. pair of skates,
Magic lantern, doll house, game,
A box of soldiers made of tin
Save for the Christmas morning din.
Save, brothers, save for keeps,
Save for the night nobody sleeps
A six-bit piece will buy book,
piece of cat fur for the cook,
picture for the empty nook.
box of holiday cigars,
A hat-pin, SLIPPERS. pair Of mitts.
A dozen handkerchiefs, a shirt,
A piece of neckwear new and strange
Save for the annual exchange.
December was the tenth month in
the old Roman year. and gets its
name from the Latin decem Q0).
But what with forest fires in the mid
die of autumn, the Roman Fire De-
die of autumn, the Roman Fire De
partment had no time to put out
Christmas trees, and when Numa's
own palace burned he rearranged the
calendar and moved Christmas along
to a time when the firemen had moth
ing else on.
The frisky calf will sniff the morn
and merrily cavort. and the frost will
nip him where his scant upholster-
ing is short. The boys will fdock to
Sunday school with fine religious
fire, the hired man will hang around
unworthy of his hire, the warning
goose will hurry south on frantic
wings a,rustle. with winter urging
him along where Cora wore the bus
tie.
eThe melancholy days will come. an
Boreas will roar; the wolf will thrust
his muzzle through the keyhole in
the door. He'll whiff the scent of
bacon bought at 30 cents pound,
and plain potatoes by the box with
tissue wrapped around; and every
time we chase him off and bid him
to his den, the trusts will pump his
stomach out and sic him on again.
The water pipes will all explode
And give the house a jar;
The plumbers chauffer will get out
The throbbing racing car;
But while relief is on the way
To plug the gushing spout.
The car will have a hemorrhage
And blow it's innards out.
The unemancipated wife will quit
her coy bed and build the fire the
while her lord pretends that he is
dead. She'll wrap herself up in her
hair and shiver in the dawn, and
chop the kindling, hustle coal and
turn the damper on; and while she
freezes till she turns the hue of
persimmon, the scientists will won
der why the men outlive the women.
Milady's winter suit will cost
A fifty-dollar note,
But man will face the blizzard in
The same old overcoat.
The cook will gasoline the fire,
And the choir in sweet accord
Will sing on Sunday at the house.
30. am coming, Lord"
On the 21st the sun will enter
Capricorn, and the winter solstice
will occur. This will cause trusts
to spawn. and the yule tide will come
in. Solstice is from sol tthe SUM
and sistere Ito stand). Thus, hav-
ing touched it's turning point south
of the equator, the sun temporarily
stands still This was where joshua
held 1t up, from which we have our
word Josh. Anybody can do 1t.
At any rate. the 21st will be the
shortest day of the year. and we
snail pass uuuer Inc
Capricorn, the Goat. This is the
tenth sign of the zodiac. 1t was re-
presented on the ancient monuments
as an old man with the body OF
goat, which signifies that during the
Christmas season father is the goat.
The Christmas shoppers Marathon
Will happen as of yore,
And the little savings banks will
chase
The presents around the store.
The unleashed dollar will pursue
The frightened Teddy Bear,
The crowd will trample on the clerks
And pull each others hair;
The Young and old will pull and push
oroupd and butt.