Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-01-31


Telegraph.
1 wish knew what my wife would
say to me when come home tonight"
Il wish l knew what my wife wouldn't
say Tho Smart Set
Nodd-What does this money strin-
gency mean, anyway? Todd-Whs. the
thing has simply spread from me to
the whole country.
Baker is the luckiest man alive"
What n0w?" HE has tifty-horse-
power car and a wife who's afraid to
go out in it"--Harper's Weekly
do you blame a man for wearing
monocle If he wants tor NO." am
swered Miss Cayenne. "But l blame
him for wanting Washington
Star.
Jones-Does your wife ever go
through your pockets when you are
aSleep2 Smith--Yes; she seems to
think that am an all-night bank
Town Topics.
but surely you are the man TO
whom gave some pie fortnight ago."
Yes Idly. | thought p'raps you'd Ike
to know I'm able to get about again"
Illustrated Bits.
Meeker-Just one year ago to-day
led my wife 60 the altar Blocker
You did, ELI? Meeker--Yes aud right
then and there my leadership ended
Chicago Daily News,
Maud-Charley tried to propose to
me last night He made awful work
of It, Gertrude Why didn't you help
him out? Maud 1Twasn't necessary;
papa came In and did Il himself
Stocks were all down a few points
to-day" remarked the broker The
idea !" exclaimed his wife. ITS a
wonder they didn't advertise 1t as a
bargain day Catholic Standard and
Times.
I'D like 60 speak to the boss, said
the blind beggar at the door. shes
out to-day" said Mr.. Hauskcep This
is Thursday, you know; anything my
wife or | could do for youY'-Phila-
uelpHlH IEtsS,
Won't you sing something, Miss
Muriely "Oh, ! daren't, after such
good music as we have been listening
to- But I'd rather listen to your
singing than to any amount of good
music illustrated Bits.
The Yicar-I was surprised to see
your husband walk out in the middle OF
my sermon last Sunday Mrs Jones'
You must really forgive hinl-he's
somnamhullst, and walks In his sleep,
you know.-London Opinion.
Elsie thought you said it was
sleighinb party2 Ernest-It was Ell
sle-But you went In an automobile,
| Ernest know we did. Our Staying
consisted of running over two dogs and
a chicken.--New York Globe.
"I1l never forget my feelings" said
she. when you said viii you marry
mep" "Wby2" he asked, was It such
hard thing to answerp mo, but YOU
were such soft thing to answer
Catholic Standard and Times,
what would you do?' asked the ex-
cited politician, "if a paper should call
you liar and a theft We'll" said
the lawyer, III / were you I'd toss
up a cent to see whether I'd reform or
lick the editor cleveland Leader
A man who was charged at the Will
lesden police court with lntoxlcation
and using bad language pleaded guilty
to the first part of the charge, adding
"As to the language, / know nothing
about that because I'm deaf"~London
| Express.
Why Bin, | didn't know you
drank Don't often, but I'm going
to run my own auto today" Then
you surely ought to be sober Not
much Bound to knock somebody out,
and got Z have an excuse. Slong"--
Philadelphia Public Ledger
OBrlen IT'S quare thing about
cousin o mine. He has great habit
o. walkin' IN his sleep. O'roole- Ye
don't tell me7 Can't he be cured of
Il, at all? O'Briep-Cured of 1t?
Shure, tits the maxim Of him; he's in
the police force.--Ill illustrated Bits.
Johnny, tell US what your lesson
was about to-dayT" About oetagons,"
replied Johnny And what, pursued
the qucstioncr, is an octagon?' Its
many sided ANIMAL" piped the lad,
that grabs you when you 90 in swim
| ming New York Evening Post
Quite sufficient Madam" began
the agent, as Mrs. Short opened the
door, YOU have a planoY Yes" she
answered Well" he continued. II
am introducing new automatic at
tachment for pianos, and II you
Don't want it, interrupted Mrs S.
"Our piano has IA sherifT's attachment.
ana guess that will hold It for a
( while. Chicago News.
/ The musician was yislbly annoyed.
! But hang 1t AL, he said, Il told YOUR
! reporteF three Or four times over that