The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-11-28


Users Thanksgiving editorial to the
inmates of Oahu Prison"
What will John Martin do next,
and him a Christian what should show
some mercy even to them poor prison
ers?"
John Martin forced his way into the
group, from an outer circle, frantically
waving his hands. Gentlemen, gentle
men!" he shouted, "hif as 'ow really
be gents, don't go for to haccuse meh
hof hany such 'einous crime what l
hain't done. Hit was 'Orton, i'm as
works for the lighthouse or somethink,
l Dunno"
Never mind, Martini" soothed a
chap whose face beamed sympathy and
compassion" Never mind! Perhaps,
since Christmas is coming, you can
make up for it all by reading the pri-
soners a Bulletin editorial, Promotion
pamphlet, a local-option essay, or some
verses from the Honolulu Times"
Il don't believe Walter G. Smith ever
wrote that Thanksgiving editorial"
said the Fair Minded One. Walter
couldn't write as bad as that"
The telephone rang and the Chief
Commotioner answered. Hello, hello!
Yes, yes, this is the Commotion Com
mittee. What's that? You are the
police station? Yes, yes! Well, well!
A man down there? Looks as if he
might be one of our members? You
say he's unconscious and drunk? How
do you know he's drunk? What's that?
You say the hospital and DR.. Emerson
both say he's drunk? Oh, all right!
Play the hose on him! Yes, yes, that
what l said Give a nights lodging
with bath-a cell and a hose. Good
bye!"
Whats the matter?" asked the Gu
rious Kid.
oh q spose its some fellow fell
off his horse and broke his head and
the mark don't show sighed the Chief
Commotioner, too much of that kind
of thing in New York and Honolulu"
Here the Secretary passed around
cold Thanksgiving turkey and devilled-
cranberries.
I'VE can't talk while were eating"
remarked the Hungry Hog.
Then let's have a recitation" was
suggested.
Joe Fern was called on, delivering
the following rhansOdy.
I'm the Mayor of Honolulu in the Isle
of Sandwiches,
And l promise one and all that I'll
behave;
If by hook, or if by crook, forget my
little book,
May l never have shampoo or a
shave.
I'm out for Roads and Bridges, for a
city beautiful
Already I've arranged for better
Rhodes;
And I think you'll like to learn that a
decorative Fern
Is a handsome thing to set off your
abodes.
Then Charlie Rose arose, with rose
pinned on his clothes, and he said 81
will disclose the situation; Honolulu's
out of sight, or l mean she's out q
site if Washington won't make an ex-
piation.
United States Slipping Commotionel
Heinrich N. Amy, recently advertised
as poet, was fired by the above ant
had to butt in with his own little piece
They call me Yankee Consul and {
Grandpa-pa,
But they call me far too early to sui
me;
For betimes in bed I'm writing, ant
poetry inditing,
With, occasionally, a chorus from
the sea.
) l had thought to keep my genius iron
5 the public gaze,
{ But the press is too impertinent b,
= far;
{ And, although they may be Jealous, tn
{ reporters are all jealous
Because my verses beat their ira
la-la.
Almy was given a diploma and ma
get a Job writing Primo beer ads.
[ Xxx
I Did you ever sec a community tina
r could get up on its hind legs and how
+ like Honolulu can, when it doesn't liB
e what is going on? The Mahuka sit
t business is the latest example. Frol
= what is reported to have been done
= Washington am inclined to think thu
e Henry Cooper must be a hypnotisi
d He is certainly wonder, to have mad
It Secretary Garfield go back on the fe'
n eral contract made with Honolulu cit
n zens. The nerve and GOODNESS wit
t which he defends the deal here is ais
It something to be wondered at. hol
BILLY" Irwin is paying him a larI