davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
.ESSzEzzz

Never IRE on the face . wash ras
which Is not scalded each day. =
II Il very bad taste to place beaut&.
ful tewelry upon neglected Ringers.
Do not think that scrubbing yin 10
lure your complexion. for II Win not
Cocoa butter win smooth the rough
elbows, but II must b persistentiy
used. g
Quickly apply raw eeg to . cut: ..
will slsay the pain md quickly hsa'
Tie wound.
n possible hs~e children sieep ID
dsskened FOOTE'S. ~ . night n bad botA
Tor eyes and nerves.
Castor oil rubbed onto warts has
been tuown TO cure those that have
obstips,ely refused TO yield to other
remedies. /,
when . finger has bsen ptnched. n
n IN at once Immersed In boiling
wster he iu1anmztion will - Quietiy
sllayed. 4
sWNpu q child IN restless from seefk'
ing IL can often be qrieted BY sivfus
1, 4 warm 18th. The water should be
ss hot a can - endured vt'bovt
burning. Do not allow the child "a
sssy IN the bath Ioag or weakness vii
result
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

One Of the surprises q the 80
son in the west h The Che showiae
that Milwaukee 10 maklAg IN The
American association, Win he ~.
ersn Barry Mccormick acting o
fbansser for the nfst time. Good
managers are scarce and Charley
Havenor vas indeed lucky IN pick
Tag out the old inaeider Tor The JOB.
CHI Curtis and Jessie -Stovsll u
the American association have pitcn-
ed no hit sames this seasUs.
Arthur Irwing's Washington team
Is tied for first place with Whining
ton In ONION league. D..
Suspendisx q ball playef for In
different work is ;iOc l0st- There
jsn't one player In 800 thss would be
guilty Of such PLAYING, snd II gutfty
tbc player saou,d W. passed % -
not ~ for the gsme. Suhpcadine
and aptns hall players never mnde
Q winning team.
Those New York Highlanders have
bccu going about al quito Q consist.
ent gait. and a. result hold %
to Nrst place In the peunana rae.
IN the most tenacious Ua1oer.
A new nationality n isomtse W -
IN. Nsssonai League. s~sc3sa. rms.
Surs's Sra sssemsn. sud Koneteay,
usc st. Louis FIRST sseker. src Dos-
cuisns. "a
PhtsSurgs Cy Young to Q recsuit
fsom the western Assocaetoe- 1h
had q trial with the st. LAuts browse
two years ago. Yong Ne. b .
right-hsnder. -. ~
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
NORTH END BEATS FORT.
Hand Fought Battle on the New Park
Diamond.

Diamond.
In a hard fought and exciting bat
tie. the North End baseball team
defeated the aggregation of soldier
ball players from the Fort Monroe
Young Mems Christian Association
on the New Park diamond at Hamp-
ton yesterday afternoon by a score
Of s to 5. This was the third time
the soldiers have been defeated
since the opening Of the Peninsula
League and they yet have their first
victory to win.
The North End boys had their
weather lamps on the horse hide and
they clouted the bali to all corners
Of the lot Once in the first inning.
Higely heaved the ball over the
fence for a home run. Suddith was
driven from the box in the fourth ses-
sion and the North Enders raped
Raymond for five hits during the fol-
lowing three rounds.
Thomas Reynolds pitched q steady
game and but for some costly errors
behind him the soldiers never would
have been in the running. He al
lowed only five hits, struck out eight
batsmen and passed only two men:
A email crowd Of fans attended
the match and found plenty Of op-
portunity to exercise their lungs. The
North Enders carried q small crowd
of strenuous rooters over to Hamp-
ton and they did good service.
Here are the figures:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

for the Athletics. Both teams played
rafting good ball and several pretty
plays were pulled Oh.
+ Curry pitched q strong game Tor
the Athletics, holding the visitors to
two doubles and four singles. ana
most Of those hits were kept well
scattered.
The features of the game were
Lands home run, Wilkinson's triple
and the aelding Of Powell.
Tabulated score:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

HaDmcrine Dig Josh Baimer for a
hcme run. triple. . double and four
singles. the Newport News Athletics
canned q victory over the SPEEDY
nine Of the Hampton Young Mems
Christiaa Association yesterday sf-
icrnoon on the diamond ., Madison
s-enue and Tweusy.afth street Scarc.
5 10 3.
Abouf 30 fans. including many
Hsmpteu peoplc. witnessed the game
ssA toward the e,Use Of he eoasess
de locsi costinsest chesrcd lsseSly
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
SETTER THAN sPANkINa

Spanking does not cure children q
bed-wstting. Thsrs 10 . constitution
cause for this trouble. Mrs.. II. Sum.
uefs, Boz W. Notsv Dame. Ind vfsl
sad free to any mother her SUCCESS
ful home t-eatDeat With fun iBstruo
tioas. Send 10 money. but write her
today II your cAfldrA truable yoa 10
thie vay. Duat blame the child. the
dances arc II cant help II. THIS
treatment also cures adults and aged
peopie troubled with urine dif1cuftiss
b. day q night .-.. .r =
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
CONFIRMED PROOF
ResIdenss ~ NSwpert News csane
Doubt Whist Has Been Tw'see
-. Proved.

In srattuue TOT coenp'oee 49, - as ~
aches and pains Of bad back 3 .
distressing kidney ms - tAoss
hsv, nmSlsc,y Recommended Do1n,p
go - ,,,,,. 5000 10 Ms,vft,l1
n'uney 49,
News, VINO 20 tesuueo yo0nS ~ ~. 9
say their cures wore permsnens, 49,
testimony d0nbIy proves tcS ~ ~
o. Duens kidney rus 70 n
news kidnoy sstisse ~ =. ssaSs
Mrs. H. 3 Hostce, nvi.& 3 a..
zeth 81. NeWI0 Ns~s - ". ~
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

one Run 'vvVDn Tor Athts<ies.
(By ,ASspciated Press)
PHlLADDLPflfA. PA. May 1s.--
The Philadelphia team today shut
out 81. Louis to 0 In 10 innings.
tho run being scored on Murphy's
double and Collins single.
The score; n. H. Z.
st. Louis ...0000OO00O0-O I 0
Philadelphia oo0oO0o0ol--1 8 /
Batteries: Howell and Spencer;
Dygert and Schreck. Time, 1:55.
Umpircs, Esan and Connolly. =,
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

Summary: Earned runs-North IND
:. Fort Monroe !. Home run-Hiee-
". Two base hits-Tay'or. Rey'
noIds. soaz. Hall. Matthews and Ray
moud. Sacrifice hit-yexseu. StoI-
IN bases-Nexsen :. sha~cn. Rich
ardson. Rushcs and Hall .. Struck
cat-By Reynolds 9. BY Suddifh .. by
Raympnd :. Hes-OR Suddith IN
Z Innings Double play-Huebes TO
EIcbardson. Base on baIls-By Rcy-
Mods .. by Raymond !. LET, on
bsses-North End 8. Fort Moaroe =.
pIrx, on erross-Nsrth Ed .. Fort
Monrcs 8. gnpsre--J. Brown. Of
rrt Mosroe. the Of ssue-1h 3sN
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
The New Sailor Hsss.

Anyooe Who thinks our Old TREND
the fair sex's sailor Ast 10 going 10 b
very much the same in the coming
svnmer a. u has been In the past b
snlsfakcn. The latest things" IN san
orr cone In q greater variety Of co'ors
I'm ever. the fashionasle shades Of
bloc and brown being much 70 evil
<eece. and mos. Of them are troubled
wsth vide. down curyise Trims. N
Vsr take an arfufiy pretty Girl 10 ~eas
ose OF those things sad look vol %
a. remarked Q woman sso aojur0s
saator hats always ssd forever.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

Mssionsls cesIsNv NJ WhSs.
tBy Assocsssed Press)
WASHINGTON. d. c. Way 1s.-
whftc held the washsneous 20 Eve
scattered hits today and Chicago hsd
IN easy time shutting out the 10
Gals. . 10 n.
The score: X II. z
wsshins,os ..sseeeseees .
'CAicaso ......esseae7os-s q Q
Batteries: Burss. tslkeo6sSy
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

les 2. Home run-Eand. Three
base hit-Wilkinson. Two base hits
-Blanford. J. Balmer and Britting'
ham. Sacrifice hit-Wilkinson. Stoi-
en- bases-Land 2. Carney and Pow
ell Base on balls-CuTry 3. Struck
out-By Curry 5. by Balmer 3. Lett
On bases-Athletic 2. Hampton 4.
First on errors-Athletics 2. Hamp-
ton 3. Hit by pitched ball-Garvey
Umpire-Mr. johnson. Time Of
yame-lh. Som.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

Cubs Wen IN tho Ninth. o.
(By Associated Press)
CHICAGO. ILL.,, May 16.-1he To-
Gals won in the ninth inning today
on a single. a double and helders
choice. "
The score: R. H. E.
Chicago ......O000200Oe-'S I
Brooklyn ....lO1OO1OU0- Z l
Batteries: Pfeistcr. Reuibach and
King: Wilhelm and Bergen. Time,
1:42. Umpire. Rigler. "a
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
The Writings % sciinilnals

2eesNsssssss~AesesA~sN~s
Sayants In the science called Grim.
inal anthropoiogy, In addition to pre-
senting = great mass OF facts trend
Ing 70 make the criminal less danger
GUS to society, are continually I'm.
carthins Interesting novelties In GRIM
tpal lore. says the Washington star.
Evcry phase OF the criminal has been
studied; even that compelling in
stinct. born Of solitude. which bids
him fx his most intimate thoughts
wherever he may be. on walls OF his
prinon or on books that are lent to
him., has been used against him or
for his good. n the case may be. and
the prison Inscriptions on whitewash-
cd walls, cell doors. margins OF books.
tin knives and the bottoms Of dinner
plates. which record his desires. his
aspirations, his coarse satires and i'm
precations. his bitter reflections and
HIS judgments OF life. are studied In
reference to their psychological. sig.
uificance. For quite = different rea.
son, however, these inscriptions are
interesting to tho layman. who would
rather be amused than instructed In
criminal anthropology. Every in
script!on given here Is vouched for by
one or moro scholars In that branch
Of science.
49, The inner Man.
or the many. hts Of verso inspired
by food. or tho lack of it. the follow
Ing selection sars good examples:
oh, who can tell the panes I feel.
A poor and harmless sailor:
miss my grog at every meal:
Here comes the blooming jailer.
Cheer up. boys. down with sorrow:
Beef today. soup tomorrow.
had for my diuner. ochone. ochoue.
One ounce of mutton and three ounce
= of bono. .. q
Love IL q great thing write an
italian philosopher. but hunger sur.
passes everything"
AT the cad OF \ borrowed book Q
convict wrote:
Good. bye. Lucy. dear!
I'm parted from you for seven long
years.
ALI Jones.
Tho book fell into the hands Of
another consict At later date. and
beneath the goodbye to Lucy he
wrote: ; s. -..5 g.. .,
II Lucy, dear, 10 Hike most gals
She'll have few sishs or means.
But soon will ind among your pals
Another Alfred Jones.
L. ais Own Epitaph. -
On the wall OF his coll one thief
wrote the epitnph for his own monut
meut. Ho Arst drew the design tor
the monument and under this wrote:
Here lies the body OF poor Tulac.
who. tired Of stealing In this world.
goes 70 steal In another. His happy
relatives have erected this memorial.
Also on the wall Of his cell an tal.
ian prisoner made this inscription:
Oh, thieves. our profession u ruined
by those rascaily judges: but courage
forward!
CTutchy Quinn. who was well &C
quainted with the inside OF English
prisons. described seven OF them In
verse. which he left on the bottom Of
. dinner can In the last prison he|
visited:
Millbank for thick shins and graft at
the pump;
Broadmoor for al issgs rs 90 Oh their
ehump:
Brixton for good toke and cocoa with
fat:
Dartmoor for bad grub but plenty OIL
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

College ossobaH Cameo
At Philadetphia-Yaie 5; PennsH-
vania 1. ....-.
AT Easton--Lafayette s: Columbia
2. " l.
at Washington - Fordhsm 8;
Georgetown /.
At Cambridge-Princeton 3; Har.
ward 0. -.-...
At West Point-Dartmouth 1: West
Point 9. -.
At Worcester-Holy Cross 2: Uni
vcrsity Of Rochester 1.
At Providence-Browu 8; Syria
cusc o.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
cieotte Weakened In Ninth.
(By' Associated Preoo)

BOSTON. MASS. May l6-Joss
and Winter had pitchers contest
for eight innings today. but the Wis
itors found Cicotte easy In the
ninth. winning to 1.
The score: II. II. T.,
Cleveland .0l0f00002- 8
Boston .0001O0OO0-1 3
Batteries: Joss and N. Clarke.
Winter. Cicotte and Carrigan. Time.
1885. Umpire. O'Loughlin.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

Ysstsrday's Rss0its. =,
First game--Roanoke s: Lynchburx
O. Second same-Roanoko 2; Lynch
burg o. T.,
Danvilie o: Portsmouth I.
Richmond 1; Norfolk 7.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
Standing Of he Cluka
Games T0day.

Games Today.
New York at Cincinnati.
Brooklyn at Chicago. -.
Boston at st. Louis.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
Big Crowd ss~ Detroit Defeated.
tBy Associated Press)

(By Associated Press)
NEW YORK. May l6.-The larg-
est gathering Of the season crowded
tho American league park today. The
local team beat Detroit's players by
a score of to s.
The score: r. H, E.
Detroit 49,. .003I0O0O2-S & .
New York ...2O011012E7 0 3
Batteries: Donovan. Muffin. Siever
and Thon,as and Schmidt; Newton.
Doyle. Lake and Kleinow. Time. 9
hours. EMPIRES, Evans and Hurst.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
National League


Pittsburg 0: Philadelphia ..
Cincinnati 3: New York l.
Chicago 4: Brooklyn 3.
st. Louis /: Boston I.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
Phil,ies Again Shut Out Pirates.

PhilIies Again Shut Out Pirates.
tBy Associated Press)
PITTSBURG. PA, May ley .
score of 3 to 0. Philadelphia again
shut out Pittsburg In tho second
game OF this series. The home team
used three pitchers. Moren had ex-
cellent support.
The score: 4. II. Il.
Pittsburg .....ooO0o060ot :
Philadelphia .O31002z10-9 II Q
Batteries: Lever. Young. Leiheld
and Gibson: Moren and Doom. Time.
1910. Umpires. Klein and Rudder-
ham.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

Summary: Earhcd fuhS-NeWport
News /, Williamsburg I. Sacrifice
hits-wynkoop and Joynes. Stolen
bases-J. O'Hars. koaten. Smith and
Graves. Two base hifs-Becles,
Roa.en, Marble and Graves. Dou-
bic play-Ssvage to wynkoop. Struck
out-by Becies Z. by Graves 2. Base
On SaIIs-0rsves I. Left on bsses-
Newport News Q, wflliamsburg 4.
First on errors-Newport News T..
Williamsburg I. Wild pitch-Gravcs.
Passed bsll-Joynes. Umpire
Thomss Tine Of game III. 3em.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
|PA|[lEs NOW SECOND
Qu,kR eAjI,aRPsssss ni,lss ,al
eiaDls N lalbaaI lsaQuo :
-FOUR LEADERS AL 'buissD

New York Americans Strengthen
Their Hold on First Place Though
Philadelphia Also Won-vtr0inia
League Race Grows Exciting.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

Shspy1ed once 'Osys win Game.
On the North Ind diamond ysstsr.
day afternoon. the MAE u the ship
yard once boys defeated the Chest.
nut avenue baseball team By Q scoFc
Of toll. A largo crowd Of young
fans was On band. Z.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
eds Drove Naathevsson from D
(By Associsted Prsss)

REDS Drove HSathe~son nom BOX
(By Associsted Pssss)
CINCINNATI. O., May 16.-Cincin-
natl today drove Mathewson to re-
tirement in the second inning by
punching two singles and q triple
which netted two runs.
The score: r. H. e
Cincinnati ..r.120000O0x-3 ]
New York ....000000N s 1
Batteries: Coakley and Schiei:
Maihewson. Ames. Candah and
Bresnahan. Time. las. Umpire o:
Day.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

x-Joynes out bit by bstted fair
ball.
Score by innings:
Newport News .....0002012l0S
Williamsburg ......1o000p010E
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
DAYS EVENTS IN THE WORLD of SP0krS

and Street: White and Sullivan.
Time. l:sS. Umpire. Sheridan.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
Young IN Fi~s Form.
(Hy Associafed Preesl

ST. LOUIS, MO-, May Is.-Young
with crrorless support. held 81. Louis
10 two hits and Boston won. I to }.
Lush was ineffective with men on
bases.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17
Southern leasus 0smea.

Memphis 2; Nashvilie 8.
Mobile /: Birmingham ;.
New Orleans l; Montgomery ,. ,
Little Rock 8: Atlanta 0. -.
At Lexington. Va--Locustda1e
Academy Z: v. N. l.. 2. ,
At Athens-Georyis s; Mercer !.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

Standing o. tse CIubs.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-17

I must In the capacity OF prssident
entertsin . study club. We have been
stsdyins Scotland the past winter.
Where could I obtain heather to be
used ss souveuirs? Could I serve
Scotch dishes7 The refreshments are
always very light. Also can you sus.
gest something for entertainment? T.
ELSIE b.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-06-25

The Weekly Jeffersonian of July 10th will
contain full report Of the great meeting at
Atlanta on July 9th and verbatim report of
Mr.. Watson's speech. Single copies, cents.
Bundles of 10 copies, 25 cents Send in your
orders at once to the Jefersonian, Thomson,
Ca, for extra copies. Special rates to Wat
son Clubs.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-06-25
"WINNOWED
SONGS" ..

The great revival song book. Beats
all Others. New edition. But this
out and mail it with 25 cents for q
copy, or So 80 for dozen. Address,
IL. MOORE, Bethlehem, Ga.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-06-25

1t having leaked out that Mr.. Bryan will
make Admiral Schley Secretary of the Navy
if he is elected, We are getting bit anxious
to know whom Tom Watson has in view for
the office of Secretary of the Treasury
Washington Post
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-06-25
NATIONAL DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION.

friends Of doorkeepers being passed without
tickets.
There is another important official, known
as chief Inspector. He is the right hand man
Of the sergeant-at- arms, and he reports to his
chief all irregularities that come Under his
observation An offender if he cannot ex-
plain, is forced to retire from the hail. and the
matter is handled with practically no disturb
ance to the proceedings of the convention.
Near the desk Of the sergeant-at-arms will
be the desk Of his private secretary Colonel
Martin IS private secretary is his son-in-law,
William NE. Drumm, lumber merchant Of st.
Louis. He is in thorough touch with Colonel
Martin S system Of handling his part of the
convention work, having occupied the same po-
sition at the st. Louis convention.
Upon Secretary Drumm's desk will be
telephone connecting with the band stand.
When the sergeant-at-arms desires to commu-
nicate with the bandmaster, all he will have to
do will be to deliver his message to Secretary
Drumm Under Colonel Martins system the
bandmaster does not have to depend upon
signals that might be misinterpreted, or cleo
tric buzzers that might become defective at
the wrong time. Should the sergeant-at-arms
wish to instruct the bandmaster to render
certain musical selection, he will issue an Or
der to Secretary Drumm, who Immediately will
get into communication with the musical di-
rector over the telephone
The office Of custodian of property is held
by Macdonald Martin. At every session Of
national conventions many lost articles are
found in the seats by assistants, delegates and
visitors. All such articles should be delivered
to the custodian, whose duty it is to endeavOr
to restore the property to the owners.
The postmaster of the city in which the
vention is held acts as postmaster Of the con-
vention. A postoffice station is established in
the convention hall, and delegates and Off
GERS can receive their mail without delay.
Medical Department..
Arrangements for handling the convention
would not be complete without medical de-
partment and a hospital ward. At the Denver
convention there will not be such great de-
mand for this department as at previous con
ventions in humid climates, where delegates
and spectators are easily overcome by heat.
Up here in Denver, mile high, where the at
mosphere indoors during the summer months
always is cool and bracing, even on a July day,
there is small danger of any person being
overcome by heat. However, when a vast
crowd is assembled there is danger that some
persons will faint Women may become ex-
hausted, or delegates and speakers may be
overcome by exertion, and it is necessary to be
prepared for such emergencies.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-06-25
THE JEFFERSONIAN.

physicians and surgeons in America, who are
officially designated, honorable medical Off
GERS. They are recommended to the sergeant
alarms by national committeeman of the
states in which they reside, or are selected by
the sergeant-at-arms upon his own knowledge
of their ability and standing.
The emergency hospital always is located
at point in the hall convenient to the work
ing forces Of the convention, and it is sup
piled with stimulants and drugs Of all kinds
that might be demanded. Trained nurses and
stretcher-bearers will be on duty to assist the
medical men.
At the Chicago convention there were not
less than twelve emergency cases each day,
but no such record is possible in Denver.
Frona this explanation of details it will be
seen that it is no small matter to conduct a
national political convention Aside from the
regular business Of the convention there is a
world of details in the work of looking after
the comfort and welfare of delegates and
spectators. ALI this is under the immediate
control of the sergeant-at-aIms. This import
ant official anticipates everything. He is held
responsible by the committee on arrangements
and results alone are counted. Excuses are
not tolerated. he must deliver the goods. Col
.onel Martin has delivered the goods for
so many years that he is fixture in democrat
ic national conventions.
The national committee on arrangements
will arrive in Denver June %, and will remain
on duty here until the convention adjourns
Headquarters of this committee as we'll as the
office of the sergeant-at-arms, will continue at
the Albany hotel, but the headquarters of the
full national committee will be at the Brown
Former Governor John E. Osborne, of Wyo-
ming, will continue in charge Of the arrange
ment committee s headquarters at the Albany,
and will work in conjunction with the Den
YER committee, which has headquarters at the
same place. The national committee will meet
at the Brown hotel on July 3.-Atlanta Con-
stitution.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-06-25

PAGE THIRTEEN
WIT AND WISDOM FROM 1.-THE WASH
INGTON POST"
The other day a Fort Wayne girl married
a man whom she Tilted at the altar five years
ago because he was drunk. We hate to think
she couldn't find anything better in the man
line during that time
The Philadelphia man who claims to have
cured his dyspepsia by walking 1900 miles is
now doubtless looking for a good remedy for
his feet.
With all his admiration for President
Roosevelt, Mr.. Bryan just can't get over the
desire to hurt his feelings by defeating his
friend Taft
Mark Twain is now at the head of a new
organization formed to build theater Those
who know of Marks faculty for getting stung
will watch the venture with keen interest.
The Chicago Tribune hands out this bit of
hot-weather advice to the delegates: "Don't
drink beer or ice water. Take emon.' But
the Taft forces, We notice, have displayed no
fondness for that fruit
A Texas prophet has announced that the
world will come to an end in 1911. In that
case it behooves Mr.. Bryan to make the best
Of his last chance to run
Carrie Nation has now been arrested 1875
times. After a while she will have a police
record equal to that Of the most persistent
booze destroyer she ever lectured
"What does Washington live on, now that
Congress has adjourned?" asks the Florida
Times-U Union. If our esteemed contemporary
will forward the necessary postage, we will
mail few Washington menus that will make
any Flordian's mouth water
health faddist advances the theory that
a diet of rose leaves will keep the average
person alive for $50 years. The trouble with
this idea is that the average person early in
life acquires roast beef and potato appetite
Says the Atlanta Journal: cit has taken
Anna Gould about as long to get new count
as it took Hearst to get his " Which would
be good joke but for the fact that Annals
new cOunt is a. nrincp