davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12
Humor qno Philosophy
BY DUNCAN NJ. SMITH
KEEP 1T UP.

Look pleasant when the picture gun
Is pointed at your face
And when the kind photographer
Has everything in place,
And should you want to keep ii I'D
1t would not be a crime
To can your frowning features and
Look pleasant all the time.
Why should you all the livelong day
Appear as one who had
A Crouch against your fellow men
Or something quite as bad
And when YOU tell the picture man
To make your photograph
Try to look pleasant for about
A minute and a half?
TITS not so hard to keep it up
AS You perhaps might fear.
A little practice and your frown
Will straishtway disappear.
And If in place of it a wreath
OF playful smiles is found
That's where you'll fool the snapshot
man
Should he be shopping round.
So do not wait till you are dragged
Into the picture place
And sit Before the camera
To soften down your face
Look pleasant when you're feeling fine
And when the skies are blue.
And then perhaps d pretty girl
Will make Sleeps eyes at you.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12
WaWa.

Do you know what it means? If
you would like 10 know, write George
w. Vaux, A. G. P. e T. A., Grand
Trunk Railway system, 1875 Adams
street, Chicago, who will send you
beautifully illustrated booklet, which
tells, and at the same time describes
the new hotel which bears the name.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

The experience OF two robbers who
tried to hold up a New Jersey farmer
and were in turn beaten aud relieved
of $25 and watch, may remind the
government of its experience when it
went into court and tried to make
the Standard Oil COMPANY hand over
a few of its millions
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

The republican national committee
seems to have no end of confidence in
Pennsylvania going republican. 1t is
going to send Sherman, Cannon and
Fairbanks to make speeches in that
state
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12
They Take the Kinks Out,

Il have used DR.. Kings New Life
Pills for many years, with increasing
satisfaction. They take the kinks out
of stomach, liver and bowels, without
fuss or friction" says N. H. Brown of
Pit Gfield, Vt. Guaranteed satisfactory
at all drug stores. 25 cents
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12
Eye Tonic.

"She admits that she was blinded by
love and for a time thought he was her
ideal of a man
What opened her eyes,
"A report from Bradstreet's that her
very considerable big brother brought
home"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

might just as well not vote for him by
-. II was unnecessary for the trust
owned speaker to make such dec
laration The people of his district
are going to vote against him without
his consent J
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

The drought is not confined to the
south this year, but seems to extend
to all parts of Illinois. judging by
the number of bootleggers who are
meeting Uncle Sam. And then with
the big deficit your un cle needs the
$25 per year revenue from all the
dispensers of the red liquor
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

Down in Texas a man ordered his
wife not to light the. fire with kero-
sene. The only remarkable thing
about the whole series of incidents
that followed is how well her good
clothes fit his second wife after few
alterations.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

Some New Workers who would
rather be contrary than compromise
a hairs breadth have gone to law
over % cents. We suspect the law
yers did not take the case for half
the amount of successful Judgment.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12
sheltering the Homeless.

In Germany, Switzerland and Ger.
man Austria they have found a
method abating the tramp nuisance
which is Numerically opposed to the
American practice. A recent bulletin
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

For resenting a practical joke a
Chicago man was thrown from a
third story window and killed. 1t is
a rare gift to know when to laugh.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

1t is terribly rude of Mr.. Bryan to
keep calling attention to that fac
tional difference among republicans
in Kansas.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

There is likely to be a sudden call
for oxygen from the districts of vari-
Gus Cannon satellite congressman be-
fore the campaign is over.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

A Georgia train ran into a mule and
was thrown into a ditch. The mule
must have been going at high rate
of speed-Georgia trains don't.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

Candidate Taft's brother, Charlie, is
not Incorporated. That ought to help
some in this era of anaemic campaign
funds.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

With SO many visitors stamping
around the premises, Fairview is
growing its new crop of alfalfa under
difficulties.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

Hearst has killed his OWL campaign
by showing too strongly the malice
and the animus back of it,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

All things considered, the week has
been rather successful ore from the
democratic viewpoint.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12
THE ARGUS.

Published Daily and Weekly at 1924
Second avenue. Rock Island. Ill. IEn-
tered at the postofice as second-class
matter.l
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

Uncle Joe Cannon gives notice that
the people who expect him 1to sustain
me policies of Bryan and Gompers
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

The straw hat will soon be felt ali
right
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

1t is easy to pick out the artistic
value and the joy of labor while sit
ting in the shade. provided the labor
appertains to some one else.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

1t is easy To laugh at misfortune until
you get u personal Introduction, when
it begins to appear something of an
impertinence.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

Some people are curious because they
want to know. and others are because
they want you to know.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

that some young man attends occa-
sionally.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

with plenty of water are excellent ap-
planes for physical development if
you have the nerve to suggest 1t to
your wife.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

When a woman announces that her
husband is the best man that ever was
she is about to pick some flaws in him.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12
BY THE j. w. POTTER CO.

TERMS - Daily, 10 cents per week
Weekly, 81 per year in advance.
All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious, must
have real name attached for publica
ton. No such articles will be printed
over fictitious signatures.
Correspondence solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12
How 30 Get Strong.

p J. DAILY of 1247 West Congress
street, Chicago. tells of way to be-
come strong. He says: "My mother,
who is old and was very feeble, is de-
irving so much benefit from Electric
Bitters that feel it's my duty to tell
those who need tonic and strengthen
ing medicine about it. In my mcthers
case a marked gain in flesh has re-
suited, insomnia has been overcome,
and she is steadily growing stronger"
Electric Bitters quickly remedy ctom-
ack, liver and kidney complaints. Sold
under guarantee at all drug stores. so
cents.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12
EYE STRAIN

EVE 81 KAHN
And Officially Impaired Vision.
BY the term Eye Strain" is de-
noted that condition of the
visual apparatus wherein mus
cular effort is constantly requir-
ed in order to maintain acute
vision.
This strain or effort is usually
without the knowledge of the in
dividual other than that pro-
duced in the indirect way
through nervous exhaustion. and
its following of associated con-
ditions.
A great many people suffer
from the effects of Eye Strain
without knowing the cause.
Those who suffer from head
ache. nervousness, insomnia, or
similar trout les, should have
their eyes attended to. DIR.
Myers will make careful ex-
animation for you and tell you
exactly what the trouble is.
MYERS OPTICAL CO.
Manufacturing Opticians.
212 Safety Building,
Rock Island, Ill.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

Don't be afraid to give Chamberlain
Cough Remedy 10 your children. II
contains no opium or other harmful
drug. 1t always cures. For sale by
all druggists.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

fears that she might think herself in
love if she didn't
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12
DEMOCRATIC NOMINATIONS
For Vice President,
JOHN WORTH KERN
or Indiana.
STATE.

For United States Senator-Lawrence
Il. Stringer.
For Governor-Adlai E. Stevenson
For Lieutenant Governor - Elmer A.
Perry.
For Secretary of State - Xelpho F.
Beidler
For Auditor-Ralph Jeffries.
For State TreaSurer-John B. Mount.
For Attorney General-Ross c. Hall.
For Clerk of Supreme Court-John l..
Pickering.
University Trustees-Edward Tilden.
\. l.. White, Isaac S. Raymond dong
term); \. l.. Bliss (short term.
CONGRESS.
For Representative in Congress - M.
j. McEniry.
LEGISLATURE.
For State Representative-Henr l..
Wheelan.
COUNTY.
For States Attorney-Robert r. Rey-
nolds
For Coroner-Dr. M. J. O'Hern.
For Surveyor-George II. Hicks.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

The real joy of the grandparents
lies in the reflections that they don't
have to discipline the youngsters, no
matter how breachy they get.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

When vacation bills are all paid
Christmas will loom large on the hori-
zon and Santa Claus will be speaking
with a loud, insistent voice.
Don't lay by any trouble for your
self. Unlike canned fruit and other
earthly treasures, its keeping qualities
are good.
Old bachelors don't marry because
they get stage fright every time they
think of it.
To most men the one woman is the
woman who can make a one dollar bill
60 furthest and work the hardest.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-09-12

1t isn't always that man who has
plenty of money is an authority upon
the best disinfectants. Some of them
prefer it without
New-York tribune., 1908-03-08

with total cost for repairs OF $6 80. The smallest
spent was five cents, for mileage of $500 in
a year. while the most unfortunate owner had to
spend s. 30 in two years In driving his 1900
miles
Automobiles have several times helped out rural
fire departments, The latest reported comes
from Rockville Centre. Long Island A few days
ago few members of the hose company
swered an alarm that they could draw the
hose cart two miles to the fire SO II. S. Chaplin
to the rescue in a Haynes
There is little prospect of price cutting this
spring, and Indications point TO big demand for
the better cars Manufacturers Of such lines have
intention OF disorganizng the trade try to
increase sales. The OIdsmobile company expects
have difficulty in filling orders and will not
reduce prices cent.
Michener and Muford who will drive Lozier cars
in the BrlarcifT race. have established quarters
the Brarcliff Manor property, the start
ing point They will get their in a few days
and will begin work the course at once. They
will live at the Briarcf stores for thirty DAYS
before the
z. r. Hoander, of the Flat Automobile Com
pany. is Of the opinion that the Automobile Club
of America should control all national racing
fairs IN this country. lie is great believer in
racing, and Fiat entered in practically all
races The company has always given cordial
support TO the Ormond and Is eager for
other Vanderbilt Cup race that team may be
entered. Two Flats will at Brarclif.
The Jackson car, made in Jackson, Mich is
looking for hill climbing contests. 1t has always
done well in these affairs and opponents In match
general races are being eagerly sought by it's
manufacturers
". c. Temple, former chairman of the American
Automobile Association racing board, who has for
time been a member, with Lyman ]. Gage
and A. G. Spalding OF the Tngley colony at Point
Iona Cal, is growing tired of the colony,
cording TO Harlan W Whippe, and is likely TO
come East soon. If he does he will probably drive
a Pierce IN the Gl!dden tour this year as he
used to do before he converted.
New-York tribune., 1908-03-08
AUTO DEALERS IN ARMS.
Prepare to Fight Adoption Of Fire.
Hnghuysen amendments.

Automobile dealers all the State of New
Jersey are up in against the proposed FIRE.
lnghuysen amendments to New Jersey auto laws
They contend that should these amendments be
adopted they would work great hardship on the
automobile business in that state At recent
meeting of the New Jersey Automobile Trade Aeso-
citation the following resolution passed.
Resolved, That the New Jersey Automobile Trade
Association meeting in conference for further dis
cusSion of proposed amendments to the automobile
law is unqualiedly and unalterably opposed to the
high. prohbitve and inequitable license fees pro-
posed and that whatever funds be necessary TO
subscribe 10 the end of securing their defeat are
hereby authorized
1t is further resolved that the New Jersey Auto
mobile Trade Association combine with the various
automobile clubs of the state and test the consti
tutionality of the double taxation proposed under
the cloak of license registration. That 1t is
the opinion of this association that the constitution
ality of this principle should be tested in tine high
est courts and that every effort be made to put
automobilists on the same footing as every other
of the highways.
Further. That this association is opposed to any
change In the administration of the department.
and that every economy should be practised and
the department not be made political machine to
citation is In favor OF law requiring all vehicles
New-York tribune., 1908-03-08
to display lights at night and that every innuenc
be brought to bear to secure the enactment OF sue
LEGISLATION.
THOMAS FAR IN LEAD.
american Car Four Hundred Miles
IN Front of the lust.

Julesburg Col, March 7.-The American Thomas
car in the long from New York to Paris
by the way of Alaska. passed through here this
evening on its way to Sydney, where Roberts. the
driver will stop for the night. Sydney is 1858 miles
from New York. and the Thomas car is now 400
miles in the lead the Zust. the nearest rival.
The car covered 100 miles to-day, the second best
davis run since the race began.
Omaha. March THE Zust Utalian) in the
New York to Paris race. arrived here tonight. and
will push on tomorrow in an effort to make up
some lost ground. The machine is in good condi-
tiOn.
Word has been received here that the De Dion
car ia still at Cedar Rapids. ST. Chaffray hopes to
continue tomorrow.
Chicago, March THE Motto Bloc French) and
Protos (German) left here to-day, the tail-end
ers IN the race to Paris The Motto Bloc reached
Maple Park after sixty-mile run. while the
Protos stopped Geneva for the night, having
covered forty-hve miles
New-York tribune., 1908-03-08
AUTOISTS START NORTH
RACE MEET n SUCCESS.
Suggestion Made to Ertend Ormond
Tourney Ncrt Year.
lBy Telegraph to The Tribune ]

Ormond. Fla. March THAT great nuInbet
OF persons journeyed to Ormond. chiefly to see
the automobile races apparent to-day. for
many of the visitors left here the train go
ing North The officials We're up early. and
among those to leave were Robert Lee MorreIl,
chairman of the contest committee of the Au-
tomobiIe Club of America. under whose auspices
the tournament was held: Samuel vi. Butler, T.
Rand Hollander Mr.. and Mrs A. L. Riker and
Lieutenant Sayles.
The Southern resort has settled down TO
its usual quietude tonight and the rumbling.
belchng. poutng noise of the racing cars as
they passed by the hotels previous days dur
ing the week heard only at intervals Ir
was old Ormond again in the truest sense OF the
word.
General satisfaction has been expressed by an
the outcome of the meeting While tho
number of cars here was not up TO expectations.
and further sifted down owing to mishaps be-
fore the tournament, the wonderful records
made and the excellent way in which the con-
tests were managed have stamped the tourna-
ment big success
With the exception OF the first day, when
only twelve and One-half miles Of the COURSE
could be used. the beach was at it's best
Hardly impression of the heavy, speeding
monsters they tore along. making time that
was never equalled before. could be seen on ths
white sand Had the races been held in Janu-
ary, as in previous years, such conditions could
not have welcomed the drivers, for so far
this season has the beach been smooth.
E. Rand Hoander. of New York whose So
horsepower Fiat Cyclone made such a wonders
full showing, was enthusiastic in favor OF
tending the tournament next year. Paul La
croix. also of New York, whose So-horsepower
Renault made such good showing. left here to-
day for Savannah. He will enter RenaEit car
in the races there
Fred Wagner. the official starter of the Amer
lean Automobile Association. Will Journey to
Savannah In few days He has In his pocket
the entry of Louis ]. Bergdols Benz car. which
shared the glory with the Fiat and Renault cars
in the races here this week.
New-York tribune., 1908-03-08
hundred Several orders Of a special charec
ter have been filled at the factory in the past

hundred men Several orders of special charec-
ter have been filled at the factory in the past
AS preliminary the Savannah races Stude-
baker 30-horsepower stock is racing from Phil
adelphia TO the Georgia city with 40-horsepower
Pullman Each carries four passengers, with
baggage As the roads in poor condition, the
test IS of considerable difficulty.
The Kings County Hospital. of Brooklyn pur-
chased recently a 30-horsepower White steam am
bulance. The is similar in type 10 those pur-
chased from the White Company by the War and
Navy departments. the chassis being Of standard
make, with a special body. A steam is re-
garded as especially suitable for an ambulance on
account of the freedom from violent vibration and
the with which speed can be controlled.
The Packard Company has brought out a new
close coupled touring car for four passengers, in
tended 20 enable party TO ride together, with a
chauffeur in the rear. The car is considered bet
ter than runabout with two seats in the rear. as
the seats can be comfortable while the load
IS better distributed
The Franklin nonstop test in Cincinnati was
ended accidentally last Saturday after IS davs 8
hours and 90 minutes. The chauffeur. n trying to
reverse the in the pulled the emergency
lever, set the brakes and then threw the clutch
stalling the motor, that the run ended prema-
turely. The next day the started on a nom
stop run TO Syracuse completing it Wednesday,
after A hard trip over filled roads The road
mileage of the car during the first test was 3,312
and the motor kept running all night when
the was in the garage
Harry Knepper. who drove the winning Prayer
Miller in the Long Island Automobile Club
test, refused the challenge Of Ciniotti
Brothers for a match with Pullman car. The
latter car started on Wednesday from Philadelphia
in match with a Studebaker car to Sa-
vannah In his answer Mr.. Knepper says in part:
we beg TO inform you that you can always meet
the FrRyer-Miller in any bona fde open contest
whether economy reliability endurance"
There are no signs of depression al the plant of
the Wayne Automobile Company. in Detroit On
the contrary, men being added to the force
every week. and the full number will soon be at
work. Much material is being ordered TO fill orders
the company has.
Inc Enore agents in Detroit obtained figures
Oh ue cost Of repairs recently from sixteen
OF Elnore cars in that city. The figures showed
that these sixteen cars were driven 132 s5a miles
New-York tribune., 1908-03-08

American Locomotive 90.
Babcock EleC. Carriage 90
BianChi.
Bowman, S. B., Auto Co.
Brewster, j. B., & GO.
Broadway Auto Exchange
Cleveland Motor Car Co.
COrbin Motor Car Go.
Darracq Motor Car 20.
Fiat Automobile Co.
Frsyer-Miller Go.
Oarford Motor Car Co.
OrOssman, Geo. j.. Co.
fiarrOIds Motor Car Co.
Haynes Auto 90.
HOl-Tan Co.
HOman & Schulz Co.
Knox Auto Co.
koehicr, II. j.. & 90.
Lozier Motor Co.
New-York tribune., 1908-03-08
BOSTON PAIR WIN AT RAcQUETs.

Philadelphia March 7-Scott and BoyIeston, OF
Boston, to-day won the national doubles racquet
championship at the Philadelphia Racquet Club.
defeating Clarke and Hewitt, of New York. four
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-12-12

/ during the winter months. The com
! mittec for the initial party is cont
| posed of the following ladies and gen
| tlemen: Edward Bonner, James Han
ley. John Sullivan, Charles McPhee.
Miss Agnes Shea. Miss Eliza Bonner
+, Miss Nellie Sullivan and Mrs. Nj. g.
Shea, Mrs. D. j. Sullivan and Mrs. p.
j. DonnellN as chaperones.
The high school pupils will render a
program at The school building next
Friday afternoon, at o'clock as fol-
lows: Essay. Florence Bergsnom; re-
citation. Joseph FulIenbach: music, Ray
Thompson; recitation, Evelyn Murrish,
essay, Mary Weldon: song, by the
school; dialogue: music, Gumfred An
toniazz; reading, Gertrude Brown;
chorus. high school girls; recitation,
Matte Mitchell; song. Gladys Bur
ton; essay. Amanda Durfee; recitation,
George stott; speech, Mrs r, A. Adams,
The public is cordially invited
ter's sister, Miss Mabel Swain, left
Thursday for visit in Salt Lake.
NJ, w. Bird, agent for the Rio Granda
railway at this place, has moved his
family up from Springville for the Win
ter.
The last leapyear ball of the season
will be conducted next Monday evening
at the Elks' pavilion. Invitations have
been issued for the occasion.
The Silentia club gave their second
Of series of social dances at the
pavilion last evening. and Il very en-
joyable time was had by all of those
who attended. The music was fur
nshed by the new Eureka orchestra.
c. Fitch returned Friday of last week
after spending several days in Salt
Lake.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-12-12

pocers, to Perry Greenwood OF Ore
non. which was solemnized in the Man
Il temple Dec. 2. Hearty congratulate
lions and best wishes was extended to
HE happy young couple. An elaborate
supper was served.
The Nineteenth Century club met
Friday afternoon at the home of Mrs.
OTTO ID. Suhr. The entire afternoon
was given to a paper, "Phidias and the
acropolis of Athens by Mrs. Suhr.
After the paper a short trip was taken,
Inv means OF stereoptical views, to see
the glorious remains of the most Won
derful age in all history. A discuss
sion by all members followed.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-12-12

The friends of these we'll known young
people are only numbered by their ac-
qualntanoas and all extend sincere
congratulations.
Mrs. W. b. Preston OF Salt Lake.
who has been visiting with Logan rel
atives for some time, has returned
home.
Mr.. ana Mrs. Lorenzo Hansen have
returned from Salt Lake.
Mr.. Edsai. Thatcher, who has spent
some time in Logan, left the first OF
the week for Rexburg. Ida.
Miss Alice Nibley and Alr Merrill
Nibley We're up from Salt Lake to
attend the Sorosls ball on Monday eve
ming.
MI. Lyman Martineau was a Logan
visitor this week,
Miss Goodmancy OF Ogden was the
guest of Miss Josephine West on Mons
day.
Mr.. Heber Vaughan sront par, of
the week IN Salt Lake on business.