davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Unwise Combination:

To the mind of Mrs. Abigail Jen.
nlngs there was Il sort of disloyalty In
admitting To any outsider that native
OF Willowby could be really eccentric.
AS for anything beyond ccccntricity.
Mrs. Jennings would never have ad-
mittcd it, even In the case OF Miss
Rachel Gregg. who was frankly called
crazy by the summer visitors.
Now. Mrs. Jennings said one OF
the boarders, do you really mean that
you've never known Miss Greae.to do
anything that you'd call crazy?'
mo, l haven't said Mrs. Jennings.
with firm and unyielding expression
about her prominent chin.
why. what do you think Of her
sending that bag OF eggs over to the
Corners to Mrs. Cole right in the box
with her laundry work and never tell.
Ing the stage driver and letting him
throw the box right OFF, inquired the
summer boarder. Mrs. Cole saws
there's one shirt waist she'll never be
able to wear again."
"Well,' said Mrs. Jennings calmly
Il should say about that as have
about n number of little things Rachel
does and has done. She may lack In
wisdom and forethought now and
again. But, then, who doesn't, Id like
to know Youths Companion.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Fanou. Ep;eures.

In the ceiling of the dining room in
Nero's golden house." OH the Palatine
hill. We're compartments inlaid with
ivory which revolved. showering per
fumes and flowers on the guests.
Flowers were presented to the guests
by slaves. They were crowned with
wrcaths. Usually after one course the
tables were removed and others placed
before the guests. Throughout the
meal drinking continued until the ban
queters fell under the table stupefied.
In those days men lived to eat. Great
generals spent fortunes accumulated
in years Of warfare In gratifying their
appetites. Lucullus on one dinner with
Cicero and Pompey spent $4,000
drachmas, or $1,000. Pithylus, who
was famed for the delicacy and origi-
nality of his dinners, wrapped his
tongue in linen when not using 1t. That
he might better appreciate aavors OF
the viands he had 1t cleaned with fish
skin before dining
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
rhouoh. n. Wa n India.

As II consequence Of the frequency
With which Ncnomous snakes are met
with In India Anglo Indians spend their
whole lives in thinking OF their lives
and Watching out for snakes. When
MIR. Kiping reached London from In
da In his search for fame and fortune
he lodged In some small rooms on VII
lcrs street. Strand. up two tiights of
stairs One morning friend called.
and when hc found himself In Rudy ri
Kiplins's sitting room he was surprised
TO So, Il handsome mirror which stood
over the fireplace '.smashed to smither.
Gems"
Snakes" said Kipling. noticing the
look OF astonishmcnt on his friends
face II was doing In my chair yester-
day evening. and my foot slipped out
of my shoe. which for comfort I had
unlaccd Half waking. I felt with my
foot for the shoe and began slipping
II in when my toes touched the leathel
tongue Snake flashed across my
sleepy brain | gave one desperate
kick. and when the shoe struck that
mirror realized that WAS In London
and not In India"
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Panama Ear niseaurtssx.

Nicholas L.. car of Russia, was the
type Of an absolute aristocrat. The
succession of terrible wars which
clouded his reign did not tend to soften
his disposition or to render him less
imperious. But. rough and harsh as
he was, Nicholas had measure of
chivalry in his disposition. He would
not tolerate under any circumstances
an insult offered to a woman. AS the
car was driving through the streets
of st Petersburg he caught sight Of
an officer OF his household in the act
of upsetting an old 1eggar woman
whose hands were raised in prayer
for aims. The official was quite I'M
mindful of the august witness OF his
act and was rather pleased when, a
few hours later. he was summoned to
the imperial presence. Nicholas soon
undeceived him and in the presence of
dozen courtiers cut him to the quick
with his indignant reproof.
Enough said Nicholas finally.
You will walk up and down that cor
ridor all night, and every time You
turn you will say in loud voice: I
am puppy! ! am a puppy"
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
c,c.;no HI, Mouth.

A very sensible bit OF advice ex-
pressed in homely language was given
by n man not long ago to an cxcitable
and qmarrclso,nc friend II was Ia q
bricliynrd and two Of the workmen
had engaged in an angry dispute
which eliminated I'm a fierce encoun-
ter In the skirinish one OF the com.
batlnts was hastily hurt on the head.
and the employer. who happened to
come on the scene OF action when the
fight was finishing and was 4 man Of
more temper than discretion, advised
the injured one 10 get q warrant for
the others arrest While the matter
was being discussed by number Of
workmcn who Ind gathered round q
big. burly fellow who had heard ev.
crything aud seen the whole aiIaia
made his way to the man with the
damaged Uranium and said:
You don't want to get no warrant.
I'lli You just go TO the chemists shop
ana get ycrsclf two pieces OF plarste--
good big ones aud put one piece on
yer head an the other on yer mouth.
an you'll he all right. London Mail
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Queer Feeding.

"Come and watch me feed my star
fish,
The curator of the aquarium led the
reporter to tank where a half dozen
starfish tripped over the sandy bottom
on slim brown fingers.
Grub time. boys" he said, and he
dropped into the tank six mussels.
The fish ran to the mussels. Each ap-
piled his stomach to the hinge at the
back of the shell. Silence and immo-
bility ensued.
1.-THE gastric juice of the starfish,
said the curator, ''is now melting the
hinges of flesh that hold the mussel
shells together. All, look. there's one
melted now There's another It's the
most powerful gastric juice in the
world"
One by one, their hinges destroyed,
the mussel shells opened, and into the
openings tho starfish thrust their stom'
achs More silence, more immobility.
Then, a little plumper at the heart.
the starfish went tripping daintily or,
but the mussel shells lay open ana
empty ON the sand.-Cincinnati En-
0uirer,
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
4 Place - aase%v.

Wits which are serviceable only In
fair weather are not Of much use 70
the pioneer OF new country. All sorts
OF victssitndcs present themselves &c
the dweller Of the Wild regions. Mr.
Wiley In his History OF The White
Mountains gives an instance of .
man whose Ingenuity withstood a cy.
clone. The incident took place In the
early days Of jackson.
\ terrible tornado passed over the
little settlement II Was 20 strons
hardly anything could stand before II.
Houses md barns were lcveleti, trees
were whirlcd about In the air ike
sticks. and men and women were
caught up and carried a0ng for rods.
onc house was RACED to the ground.
and chairs. tables. beds. bedding and
children went flying about In the wind.
The father III the family, snatching his
babies from the rude grasp Of the mon
stcr. thrust the little folks heads
through two rails Of fence aud left
them thus secured with their legs
dangling In the wind He then went
to look after his other property.
The five little children remained safe
In their fastening and. uninjured. out
rode the tempest
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Too Much Music.

Il like churches to provide fine mu-
sic at all times" said prominent
clergyman, but there are cases on
record where the music has been given
too prominent place.
IAN eloquent brother divine from
South Carolina once told me that going
to preach at a strange church he was
taken aside by deacon, who whis-
pered:
"'Beg pardon. sir. but must ask
you not to preach longer than ten or
twelve minutes. It's the music that
the people come here for
THAT was wrong But worse still
was the case Of a supply preacher in a
church famous for Its anthems and
choruses. The stranger, not noticing
the scraping and tuning OF fiddles.
rose and began to preach when the
choir leader jumped up and shouted
angrilv to him from the choir loft at
the other cr of the church:
"'Sit down, man! When it's Jour
turn Well tell you"
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
A Rich Woman's Closet.

"The nearest approach TO a Blue
Boards closet that ever saw" said a
woman the other day, was In tho
country house OF one of New Works
most fashionable women.
II didn't Know her, but i'll II queef,
roundabout way was once shown
over the house and saw Mrs VS. pri-
waite apartments. | pretty nearly faint
ed when walked into room where a
dozen or more women were apparently
hanging from the ceiling.
"When came to found that what
1 had taken TO be choice collection
Of female corpses was really lot OF
manikins. Mrs " had them made
after her own measurements, and her
choicest costumes We're kept on them
when not lin use.
"IIer maid would fasten gown on
10 II manilSin, put something over 1t to
keep the dust off and then by means
of a rope and pulley draw the whole
thing to the ceiling. 1t was n fine ar
rangemcnt Int looked as II Bluebeard
had been areHnd' New York Sun.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Showing Our Monkey Blood.

The batsman, congratulated on his
home run, slapped himself proudly on
the chest and began to boast Of still
finer home runs that he had made i'm
the past
Did you see that gesture, the strick-
EN- brcast!" said an cthnologist Of Har-
ward whenever we make that ges-
ture in our vanity we prove the Oar
winian theory up to the hilt
"You know the gorilla Kipling and
Du Chaillu describe him-an enor-
nous ape that in his indomitable bra
vado beats his breast with sound like
the rolling of the mufiled drums OF
Memorial day.
AS big as a bull, as swift as a cat,
as powerful as an elephant, the gorilla
believes himself unconquerable, and in
the vain glory of that belief he initiates
his lungs and beats his swollen breast
till the jungle rings like gong.
I'VE In our moments of foolish and
excessive vanity initiate our lungs and
slap our swollen breasts.
THUS. alas, we show the monkey
blood In us New Orleans Times
Democrat
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Earthau akes q Warninas ..


The belief that earthquakes are signs
or warnings owes its origin In part to
prophecies in the Bible. where, for ex.
ample, we read that there shall be
eamincs and l,estilences and earth
quakes" as rortending future calami-
ties Earthquakes have led to the abo
lition of oppressive taxation, the abo-
lition of masluerades. the closing Of
theaters and even to the alteration Of
fashion. a New England paper Of 1927
tells us that "a considerable town in
this province has been SO far awakened
by the awful providence in the earth
quake that the women have generally
laid aside their hooped petticoats.
Nature
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
JOYS Of the Inferno.

of you co,lld see some Of the vicious
home Treatment applied to cuts" the
young inferno at Bellevue said, you'd
wonder at the comparatively few cases
Of tetanns If a playful mongrel pup
snaps at you. the east side knows that
the only thing to do is to put some Of
the hair of Sac dog that did the biting
the hair must be from that particular
dog-into the cut. They come with In
cisions rceking with all the filth imag-
Unable the dirtiest cobwebs from the
garnet, for instance, which are even
more popular as a poultice than those
made of chew of tobacco. Two boys
came In recently the same day with
cuts to which cigar butts had been
bound down because. they explained,
they don't chew tobacco. You can't
convince the east side that It's wrong.
Don't waste time, but clean the wound
scientifically. pray for good luck and
veil Next New York Cor. Pittsburg
Dispatch.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Turner and the Doctor.

When Turner, The famous painter,
was dying III Chelsea he sent in de
SPAR for n l,amsgate doctor who had
done him some good during his recent
Stay at that place and who he hoped.
might take a different view of his case
from that which the London physicians
had expressed The doctor arrived and
contiriacd the opinion that the artist
had Very littlc time longer TO live.
wait Il bit.' said Turner TO the doc
tor. Won have had nothing to eat and
drink yet. have you:' No but that's
of no consequence "Rut 1t is," re-
piled the painter Go downstairs, and
you will find some rcfrcshmcnt, and
there Is some fine brown sherry don't
spare ii and then come up and see the
ngain." The doctor refreshed himself
and then came back TO the patient
NOW, then said Turner what is II:
DO You still think so badly of my
casc:" The doctor rcgretfully said he
could not alter his former opinion. The
artist shook his shoulders, turned his
face to the w;ll and never spoke again
dundee Advertiser
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
In Forbidden Places.

A very large mastiff at one end Of n
leash and a very small girl at the other
end formed combination which at
tracted the attention of a casual pedes-
trian IN Il quiet side street.
The little girl doubtless thought that
she was taking the dog out for an air
ing, but the big animal himself appear
ed to have the impression that he was
the leader of the expedition, and, he
yond question. the balance Of power
was entirely on his side. He dragged
the girl along despite her scolding and
expostulation; ut pace which kept
her GREATNESS.
Suddenly, either from whim of his
own vi because somebody had been i'll
the habit of taking him there, he dart
ed through the swinging doors of a
corner saloon The girl looked horri-
fed: but clinsing determinedly to her
end of the leash. she followed her
charge, and us the doors swung shut
behind her the casual pedestrian heard
this exasper..tel remonstrance:
"Oh, darn.ound it! Don't you know
ladies don't 80 there? Its only place
for Philadelphia Ledger.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Born That Way.

There is perhaps no point OH which
the librarian and child disagree SO en-
tircly as that OF the proper condition
of the hands \ child whose hands
were black With dirt solemnly stated.
II was born that way" Another de-
clarcd that the doctor said he must
not wasl, his hands till the weather
got warmer Another whispered,
Teacher, that's the color Of my Skin"
A boy who brought back book with
its cover soilcd and greasy refused to
pay the fine and finally brought his
mother I'm to speak in his behalf. We
had been very unjust and unkind to
her boy, she said, for lie Is very care
full. He puts his book in the icebox,
where the baby can't get 1t, and moth
ing but our food and Willie's books
ever goes in that icebox. Library
journal
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Ola Lima Drunkenness.

In reviewing "Thc Early Married
Life of Maria Joscpha. Lady Stanley
the London Spectator comments Oh the
light in which drunkenness was re-
garded at the beginning OF the nine
tenth century. There was christen-
ing OF twins and rejoicing among the
ncighbors, tenants and laborers- AN
the guests says Maria, were as
drunk as i ever had the pleasure OK
seeing any one Among the laborers.
however. chat extent of intoxication
was not reached which causes men TO
be swine"
Lady Sheffield, who received this &c.
count Of the festivities. replies:
would have given q great deal to be
present. There is nothing love SO
much as such sort Of festivities. where
one has the satisfaction Of knowing
that one makes ones friends happy az
wen as drunk" In London, she de-
clares. when you give a ball you az
front many people, please few, maze
many drunk and yourself miserable.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
ovssr Auctions.

A Dutch auction at Cape Town 10
frequently exciting. II q house ID to
be sold. the auctioneer offers 30 gold
en- sovcrcigns for the man who first
bids $1,000" Nobody bids A pause.
and then $50 golden sovereigns for the
man who first bids fl.0OO" This 10
kept up until bid Is secured But II
by no means follows that the house ID
sold to this bidder. No. the auctioneer
Is then Mt II again. Say TINT f4,i00 Is
the first bid The aucti0neer cries.
"Thcrc are g, golden sovcrcigns for
the first man who has the courage to
lid $4,000" Perhaps no one has II.
Then 90 Is fferetl for f4..l,O bid II
there Is eventually no bid above the
fl,4OO. the man who made that bid 10
saddlcd Will, the house. Otherwise he
pockets his bonus and gets Oh free OF
II ull Westminster Gazette.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Al THE LAST MOMENT.

As he did with the futile circular be-
fore the primary, it is probable that
Mr.. aeroltz will come out at the last
moment-when it is too late to reply
and give the reply general circulation
with an explanation of some Of his
dotngs as an officer of this county
Our readers will remember how prompt
Mr.. II. was with his answers until the
article appeared showing that he had
used county cash during the panic and
deposited his personal checks in their
stead; how he robbed the county OF
more than fifty dollars by selling them
an old typewriter. chair and desk. and
how, by his own showing TO the as.
SCISSOR, he hadn't the cash of his own
to make the loans he made during the
panic.
He Is also informing people here in
Linton, In very mysterious manner,
that he has attidavits from some OF
those named in the Record RECENTLY
as having borrowed money from him,
to the effect that they took his checks
and did not get cash. Now, three
things should be borne in mind: First.
That, OF the eight men whose names
we're given In the Record as having
borrowed money from Mr.. Herolz
during the panic, not more than two
can read English: and, holding debt
secured by mortgage over their heads.
Mr.. II. would be In good shape to get
them to make any statement he want
ed them to make. Second, In case
he claims 1t was the money OF MIR.
Arthur Dudley mortgage buyer
that he "honswoggledn away from the
Linton State Bank he loaned
during the panic, 1t should be borne in
mind that neither Mr.. Dudley nor any
other business man--not even the
great banks of the cities could get
currency to loan during the panic
Third, That 1t is not reasonable to
suppose that the eight men whose
names appeared in the Record took
Mr.. Herolz's checks when they borrow
ed money. Is 1t likely that men
would mortgage their homesteads 10
Mr.. II. or Mr.. Dudley, in the midst OF
q panic, and take therefor checks
that they could not then obtain cash
for, and which might not be paid for
. year or more?
| The plan and unvarnished truth is
that Mr. Herolz used all the county's
currency that he needed in making
his cash loans-no one else having
currency.
And we are prepared to prove that in
more than one instance he asked an
enormous bonus from those who need.
ed currency during the panic
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
a Eem suH;ced.

Sir James crichton Browne was sont
on a mission 10 Jamaica In connection
with the British colonial office. While
at Kingston he had an encounter with
a colorcd but very humble official. Sir
James, "a strenuous sanitaran and an
ardent Scot, was keenly interested In
the Scottish population OF the Island.
''Do you have many Scotsmen In these
partsw he asked Of the official. The
darby thought for a moment and then
answered, Not many; just few, but
enough Sir James collapsed
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
e,.x and II. Salary Grab.

sQuinn,' said an old member one
day. II heard you worrying about the
mileage. Did you ever hear the story
Of Clay and the salary grab?
NO." replied.
"When Clay was speaker" he con.
tinued. "along about 1916. the crowd
raised their salaries to $3.50 year.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Gone 10 honokono j.

Some time ago a large ten shop was
opened In town near London. To At
tract customers II WAS announced that
eacl, purchaser of pound Of tee
would receive u check for n shilling to
buy goods on IL certain date. The pro
prietor did fourlshing trade till the
day came for the checks to be present
cd crow,'s OF customers came and
were drcar!'y disappointed TO see the
shutters down and on them big
poster, which read:
Our compliments TO our customers,
and we beg to state that we have gone
to IIongkon. for more tea. London
Express.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
4 DENIAL.
....otry OBJECTS 20 ~ Mis-
NJ ss. IN ~ ceo0lssloa.
rs .Explasatieas."

70 the COMMISSIONERS OF Emm00s
County ,....,,.
,,ns bridge deal which was publish
~ u ". " the Advocate on Oct. Is, 1908,
s,y Acting on the counsel ofour
',s vs the Assistant States At
. .ss on the 18th day Of August, We
~ .v' The contract for two bridges, etc. "
~ That statement is ABSOLUTELY false.
1aidAnot attend your meeting on
~, date. was not even in the
. .s building during your meeting,
and knew nothing Of the letting o.
=, =, contract. Now gentlemen you
md h., better EXPLAIN again.
Respectfully,
CHAs. COVENTRY,
Assistant States Attorney
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22

There was great howl dai over the
country. and when Clay reached home
n Kentucky he found cid one armed
1ohn Pope. Federalist, cut after his
scalp TO beat the band aud all the CLAW
adherents oninously silent Worried
and anxious Clay sought out his old
barber, who had always been enthusi
ast'c in his advocacy ard who hap
pened to be an lrishman. i trust I
may count on your hearty support, as
usual" Clay asked Faith. Mr., CLAY ;
said the Irish barber. 7 think shall
vote at this time for the man who can
get but one hand into the treasury .
Success Magazine.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Enolish as suna.

live opposite TO a school where mu-
sic is carefully and constantly taught.
The children have acquired the diff
cult art of dropping semitone min
ute But the accent employed Is even
more interesting than the tone system.
Here is favorite school song:
Flahrs luvly -tiahrs, in garden yeh mp
see,
The rowses there with their reuby lip.
Perks the unny by loves teh sip.
Teulps, teuips. gy as butterfy's wilma
Merrygolds rich as the crahn OF king.
Rich as the crahn of a king.
But none sch fair teh me.
None sch fair teh me-
AS these wildwood fairs.
Sweet wild fairs
London Academy.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
Treason and Reason.

Arclbisho.i Ryan once concluded q
brilliant defense Of the Irish cause
when listener shouted.
But the irish are guilty of treason. :"
perhaps, replied the archbishop
"but please remember that what Is
treason elsewhere becomes reason IL
Ireland because Of the absentee. =
Cleveland Leader
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
TOO Much Of II.

Greene How docs 1t happen that you
don't trade r. Cleaver's any more? Yon
used to brag about the nice cuts Of
meat he always sent you. Is 1t because
he wouldn't give you credit? Gray-On
the contrar, it is because he did Bos-
ton Transcript.
Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-22
eule of'Three.

"Well," said a persevcring governcss,
II will put II In another form. II 1t
takes one scl.gant nine hours to do the
entire llousc@os. Of n family how long
will 1t take three servants TO do II"
Tommy OH, ! know, teacher. !
heard mamma speak Of 1t only this
morning.
Governess Wen. how long viii 1t
take them:
Tommy Three times as long Lon
don Taller.