The Yale expositor., 1908-06-05


joined Freddy Lords, was sitting at
a big desk-table, in shirt sleeves, pipe
upside down between his teeth, green
shade over his eyes, porting over the
design for a music hall or lunatic
asylum-it looked like either.
We'll, old man." he said cheerfully,
without loking up, back SO soon?
How did you hit 1t off?"
Receiving no reply, he raised his
head to see his friend huddled in a
chair, chin sunk ON breast, the picture
of abject misery.
Good heavens, mani" he ejacu-
lated, right-line pen suspended above
the drawing board, "she refused you'll"
mo, she didn't" retorted Freddy.
Russell rose to his feet.
"She accepted him! An engaged
man with that face on him! This is
bliss. what could be blister?" he said.
I'm not an engaged mani" snapped
Freddy.
mot engaged, and not refused.
Well, would you mind telling me
what you are, them"
What am II" repeated Freddy. I'm
dolt, a craven, a-a-jackass!"
Russell resumed his seat, looking
relieved.
"Oh, see," he said, you flunked-
l thought you would"
"Confound you, Tom Russell, what
do you mean by that?" demanded
Lord, angrily.
We'll, you see. old man, you started
out with a too self-confident air"
well, try it yourself once"
mot /. wouldn't do that for pay!
Still, IL was going to propose to a
girl, should not depend on an inspira-
ton. should decide beforehand
what / wanted to say, and then say
it." remarked Russell. calmly.
Suffering saints!" said Freddy,
pacing about the room, why didn't
you unload all this advice before
went and made an ass Of myself? Now,
old fellow, tell me straight, If you
were going to propose to a girl, what
would you say to herr" he asked, light
ing a cigarette.
Say? Oh, that's dead easy. I'd
say: Now, see here what's her
name?"
Mary Alice" replied Freddy, a lit
tie sheepishly.
We'll, l should say: Now, see here,
Mary Alice, of course l don't pretend
to have a line on your feelings, and
I'm not a descendant of Croesus, nor
yet of old Midas, but how would you
like to share my check book?' Now,
that would fetch her, wouldn't it," he
finished triumphantly.
Fetch Mary Alice? Cad, but you're
innocent! Fetch Mary Alice with
that! Why, she'd say: Down, Bruno,
down on your knees and beg for it,
and down you'd go, tool"
"Fudge!" responded Russell.
II tell you, man. girls have to be
made love to, and-well, / thought
could do it. but every time l swung
the conversation around that way, she
would turn those big eyes on me, and
my heart just did things. l didn't
know whether l was whitewashing a
ton of coal or rolling a peanut down
hill backwards"
well, you can laugh" stormed
Lord, rising and casting his cigarette
from him. "Jerusalem!" he went on,
"at college, they teach a man every.
thing but the one thing he ought to
know"
Il suppose you wouldn't propose by
letter." Russell interrogated, after a
time.
mo, l wouldn't. That's the last re-
sort of coward. growled Freddy.
You couldn't manage it over the
'phone?"
"over the phone! You must be
daffy!"
Then" Russell commenced, and a
long pause followed After a time, he
announced triumphantly: Then ]
have an ideal"
Il don't believe it," Freddy flung at
him politely.
We'll, you don't have to. Anyhow
you said girls wanted a lot of love.
making business?"
Il should think yes! Jove. Tom. they
like it as kitten loves a warm brick
in the winter time" informed Freddy
And you can't say the words to her
face?"
mo, can't"
Russell looked his suffering chum
over critically.
We'll, Miss McAlden has a phono
graph, has she not?"
Yes; but what of it?"
Now" said Russell, "if you are
serious about this proposal, you do ex
actly as l tell you, follow all my in
structions, and tomorrow night al
this time you will be an engaged
mani"
Freddy gasped "Are-aren't we
taking quite a lot for granted?" he
asked.
Not bit of tits a sure go. Here
It is in a nutshell: propose by phono
graph"
"But-but how?"
How? Have got to tell you how p
Yes, confound 1t, you have. Why
never heard of such a thingp'