davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
Dinkelspiel on Aunt LouiSa's Visit
BY GEORGE v. HOBART.

! und sweep IT," vent on Aunt Louisa
"Vot pitzness is II yours aloud der
kitchen" vispered der cook, init q
bedtick flush in der cheeks
1T Is my pitzness." Aunt Louisa
came right back. because Offer In my
belofed home IN New Chersey | am der
President OF der Society for der Set.
Element OF Dust. SO get der broom.
get der broom"
Den der cook got der broom und ven
your mother came running in answer
to Aunt Louisa's shrieks, she found
her inter der kitchen table NIT nearly
two hundred pounds OF imported Irish
anger sittin on her und poking her In
der short ribs nit der broom handle.
Den der cook vent und got her hat
und left, after II had taken your
mother two weeks und nine inteili-
gence Offices 20 find her.
So soon vot your Aunt Louisa re-
cofered her breathing material she
vent ouid 10 der barn und began 10
scold der coachman because he gate
der olt brown mare too much oats
Wy is II your pitzness vot / feed
der horse?" inkvired der coachman,
politefully, but NIT der rising inflec-
tons on der last syllabus
1T is my pitzness," set your Aunt
Louisa, because Offer In my belofed
home in New Chersey am der secre-
tary OF der Society for der Proven
ton OF Over-fededness In Horses, und
you gate dot horse eighteen more oats
den IL is necessary. Do you know der
chemical arrangement OF oat? Do
you know anything abouid der vital
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
1.-THE MAN WHO STOLE THE EARTH"

I Il presume" continued his majesty.
ignoring the interruption. that you
have had the further insolence TO
trouble my daughter, the princess.
This Is an Outrage which | cannot
allow you TO continue. And. seeing
that you are here. | may as we'll take
the opportunity OF implanting a few
home truths In what seems 10 be your
most ill-bred aud ill-conditioned mind"
Strong made slight inclination OF
the head. 1t was" he said. partly
with the idea OF having a little heart
to-heart talk with my future father-in-
law that prompted me 10 call tonight.
| can perfectly understand that my
presence is unwelcome; but then. you
must remember that | came on bust
ness rather than on pleasure"
! The crowd In the succession OF sa-
Ions was now diminishing Strong
watched the stream descending the
staircase
The king followed his gaze. and
shook his head. mo, Mr. Strong.
though your inclination may lead you
! TO leave. | fear that you will not be
able 10 follow them just yet; though
when have said what / have 10 say.
lilt you lteNt iug nOuoC luS wv
ter | shall be pleased. In the mean
time. will you do me the honor OF
coming TO my room? | think that
there we may be able to come to a
better understanding"
He motioned TO Strong 10 follow
him, and Strong. walking after the
king. found himself In little alcove
into which was built gilt-edged cleo
/ trio lift.
MY room" said his majesty, rs
on the top story, and this will save
us the trouble of walking"
Strong. mindful OF Diana's warning.
had half mind to turn back. But
glancing over his shoulder he saw the
way was now barred by three men in
evening dress. Their clothes were
good but II was perfectly obvious that
they were by no means gentlemen.
The last OF the three men had drawn
slidiug-door across the corridor.
! Ito he ContfnuedJ
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
CHAPTER xv-tcontInued.l

NTAT CH NNF-ANonNin1cu'l
%KANA thinking OF the dapdified
Ih Earl of9 Bellingham. laughed
III outright Poor dear What
What" she cried And he
is TO be robber. too
He is already said Strong. lie
has started ON his career OF crime.
lie laughed gaily and caught Diana
hands. by the morning he SAID
Il shall be miles and miles away.
And SO shall l." said Diana grave
~. tomorrow night We start for
Bomberg tomorrow evening"
Love laughs at distance. my dear
when II comes 10 airships, SAID
Strong. 1T won't be long before | an
knocking al the gates OF Bomberg
or rather I shall be hanging like q
modern edition OF the sword OF Dam
ocles over Bomberg's head. There
must be beginning In all things. and
my beginning in stealing the earth
will start in Bahama"
so. you thief. said Diana. FIRST
you come and steal my heart, then
you would steal my kingdom
only TO give II you back" said
Strong.
What. my heart?" asked Diana.
NO. only the kingdom: your heart
| will keep"
If you can said Diana. and she
rose 10 her feet.
II will" said Strong.
He saw that she was growing un
easy at the length OF their converse
ton. and. as was his habit, he dis
armed attack by preventing II.
Now. little girls" he said, you
must 40 back. Go back 10 your
father and all those detestable people
who are waiting 10 scrape and 10 bow
whenever you choose 70 appear.
so go back. and l will wait here
for little, and then l shall come In
search OF mis- majesty. your father.
Diana caught az his sleeve. Prom
Use me-" she said. whatever you do
that you won't go into the lift
Strong laughed We'll, well see,
he said But l know all about the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23


ciable.
We vas all veil at home NIT der
eggsception dot your Aunt Louisa Diff
fenbauer is now py our house TO make
a short visit vich will last as long
as our patience can stood der strain.
You know. Looey, We luff 10 hat all
our relations come py our house and
visit nit US SO long vat dey conduc-
ton demselfs in a manner vich Is
pleasing to der intelleck, but Aunt
Louisa is der limick-der far-off und
much removed limick.
Here Is woman. Looey, vich
comes TO our house as a guest. und der
falrst morning she IS nit US she arises
herself as sefen t'irty. goes direct py
der kitchen und begins 10 scold der
cook because she is peeling der pota-
toes too far from der surface.
'Vot is 1t your pitzness ware | I'M
chacket potato?" responded der
cook. nit indicknation.
1T Is my pitzness," snapper Aunt
Louisa. because ofer In my belofed
home in New Chersey belong TO der
Society for der Prevention Of Vasteful-
ness"
Well. Heafen sent you a safe chur-
ney back 70 your belofed home in
Chersey," set der cook, reaching for
der carving knife.
"Und besides. your kitchen is un-
tidy und you should get your broom
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
For the Fine Points
Read the Free Press
spcilce Scandal Examination In
Part, with Warnings and Pen
atty FOR PerJury-PsopIe's
Witnesses Take Notice.

T
10 II
hronnh
& q. p.
she
he
= Wotisn
IA
politically
N hls giving u back
The attitude Of the Free p that there
Mlrson Of Annie Smith lie
Y
Mssu.hs lest forget this h
3Do1toe Il
<1G111u1o6 - cedd
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
GREAT SPEECH
TO GOVERNORS
Presidents Marvellous
Effort Eiectrffies yis-
itinG Amateurs.
BY WEEK JONES.

= 80 - =. - -
Effort Eiectrifies yis-
itinG Amateurs.
"i was once a govern
or"
This simple statement
caused an inoredulous
gasp 70 run through tho
meeting OF governors
held IN the Gazette Of
fee.
IL seemed impossible
that this magnificent
ruler could once have
been a common govern =
or like the forty-one as
sembled before him.
- was once q govern
or"
The strained attention
OF the commonplace
men In the crowd was
broken by a wild cheer
which lasted So minutes.
Once q guy like me
I'm ossib :" cried
Hughes. of New York.
jumping Yiminyl" sob
bed Johnson. OF Mime
sota. The ushers, armed
with Big Sticks, whack-
ed the Offenders over
the head and restored
silence.
Il was once n govern
or myself. and LOOK AT
Me MOVIE" continued
the speaker.
Folk. OF Missouri.
tainted.
Il was once a govern
or. just like one OF you"
The forty -one were
unable 20 restrain their
emotions. Strong men
sobbed and Democrats
went into Mysteries.
Even the sight OF Vice
President Fairbanks
failed TO soothe them.
"it's a long time be-
TWEEN" began Glenn.
OF North Carolina
Come on" said An
sci. OF South Carolina
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
Chnmninnshin Rnnt,

A ten-round message
writing bout for the
heavyweight cham
pionship OF the world
will be pulled of in the
White House tonight.
Kid Hughes Will meet
Roosevelt, the "Old
Master" While Roose-
Welt has more ring eX-
perienoe and carries a
better punch, Hughes
has been putting over
some heavy messag es
lately. and he may win
on points. Betting 10 to
S on the champion.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

Colonel Stewart. whom
have punished by send
ing out 10 drill ella
monsters. 10 a conten-
tous person, and II there
10 one class OF person 1
hate it's the contentious.
Let me alone and I'll
let you alone" has al
ways been my motto.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
That Settles IL.

Mrs. Styles think we ought TO
send Emily TO college.
Mr.. Styles-Nonsense.
NO. it's not nonsense: ! want her
to be an accomplished woman"
Don't be silly: that Mrs. Gabb next
door is college graduate
IL know 1t, and just think how beau
tifully she can talk"
She can't talk any longer nor any
louder than you can."-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
Ship Owners Get Near
the Treasury Vaults
at the Eleventh Hour
Amendment to Postofrlee Bill
Amounting to Some Subsidy,
st Least, May Be Rushed
Through Congress.

y ~ are appointed.
sssury ship owners grab
pon each occasion the lower house WHOSE MEMBERS ARE
INJECTED
in tho capitol ready spring
2pon their prey'the the public Is looking.
Unlike the of fields
y show to avail themselves their hook OF
e wonderfuoceanc pictured ship sub
Ssidy advocates
IN Their presumption passes all understanding
There is really something kind of creepy about
M The feeling get night when you
oe imagine that the fellow behind persisng in follow
ing you
Senator Ganger already congress
subsidy but failed finding that public sentiment had undergone
mo change
N But the shipping interests hang like eeches and
they broken the posoice bill through amend
vhnent made In the
E OF the which this that
tDught AT LEAST SOMETHING for of the
hy.
steamship running ports South America Philippine
bsands Japan carrying of the mails
vessels of the secondclass the that is
paid American vessels OF the as to Europe and to vessels
dlass the authorized for vessels of the second
klasA
There are no American lines of the 6rsss the countries
faxaed of this legislation will Is claimed
the establishment OF passenger and mail steamship lines
Ito ports of those countries.
The postofce appropriation agreed
amendment and the belief expressed that the
lhouae viii concur.
Though In of a carrying mails,
tthis 3 nothing more less than ship subsidy
For there be advanced but which miser
ably weak
that American merchandise Is being
American ships and the building
marine discouraged because OF coming into
lpstion ships of other nations which subsidized
s subsdxng their steamship lines 10 the
of wisdom for the to build ships for private
continue the benefits Of subsidized foreign
feet of carrers7
So long shipping facilities ample carry
American goods carried In for
teign botoms7
other nations refuse sub
further interests THE GOVERNMENT COULD
THEN BUILD MORE BOATS for private Individuals
Mt SHOULD BUILD THEM AND RUN THEM FOR ITSELF.
subsidy properly characterized by
only one word-iust and unauthorized GALL.
government expends yearly fabulous IN the In
Of ship lighting the harbors the oceans the lakes
Ind the
millions going Into the Panama canal but
Ecr1n Of subsidy.
The thousands of spent Flats and
ut Lime Kiln crossing another form Of subsidy digging
mammoth boats along IN and crowd out
The little fellows.
the government wants to do subsdsng Il really
MUST give money private interests might lend helping
ship who has been pushed TO tho wall
digging Of for the trusts ships
very though tho steamship lines have been
freely that about al ere lott for them AJAX for
t{sho Ia their hands.
shipper affected by the fact that his goods
by subsidized foreigner then the whole American
which would tho BUILDING OF
8boATs BY THE GOVERNMENT FOR OPERATION BY
8IHE GOVERNMENT.
Of public money which 10 ex
private would be expended
shippers WELL Of what these
boats carry
They pay freight always
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
New Undesirable.

AT q special meeting
OF the Undesirables club
Colonel Stewart was
unanimously elected a
nuisance In the service.
the speech OF welcome
being made by Childish
Admiral OF the sister
service.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

Attempt after attempt to get a
ship subsidy bill through con-
gress up to this time has failed.
In the face of an overwhelming
sentiment against the financing
of private enterprise from the
public pocketbook congress has
not dared pass such measure.
The senate, whose members
are appointed, has been ever
ready and willing to open the
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

Tody-Jennie tells me young Wood.
by proposed TO her last night.
Viola-I don't think I know him. Is
he well OF?
Tody-He certainly Is. She refus-
ed him.-London Tit-Bits.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

10 10 especially graft
flying TO me 10 notice
that Utah has come out
strong for me. am
against race suicide, al
though 1 am not alto
gether sorry that Gov.
Hughes appears 10 have
taken his political life
IN that manner.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

Have you a cow-Then
vote for
ROLLOCKING CHAR
LEY FAIRBANkSl..
He drinka-h butter milk
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

The Times 10 sndsavorInu 20 give Q
fair and impartial account Of tho pre-
Ilr,inary examination Of Police Com
missioner Smith, Police Captain New
berry and cItlzen-wIth-a-puli HlbbIer,
charged with conspiracy In extortIon
money from Annie Smith, resort keep
or, for police protection.
An afternoon Newspaper 10 pulled
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
Advertisements.

F r S A l. E-Hair
Shirt: only worn twice.
DEMOCRATIC PARTY.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

read that IN two Is
sues OF the Commoner
the name OF Editor
Bryan appears 243
times. 1 despise this
form OF advertising.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

FOCND-A tack. own
er may have same on
paying cost OF eXtrac-
tion.
INNOCENT SITTER
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

Somehow or other late frosts never
hurt the crop OF spring poetry.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
To the Edltnr--We are

To the Edltor-We are
heartily with you In
your campaign for a big
navy. Only don't stop
at IS battleships. Ma ke
IL n hundred and forty
eight.
in a case like this. pa
triotism counts.
STEEL TRUST.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

To the Editor-if. as
you say, the best citi-
zen Is the mother OF
ten" isn't the guinea
pig away ahead or the
elephant
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

Owing TO frequent use,
all the Gap matrices In
the shop are worn out
and IN this issue ! viii
have to use the lower
case 1.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

n will look after the
states. No need for you
20 worry. Look after
your own little affairs
and leave things 10 nae
Ed
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

To the Editor-i am
going 20 form an asso-
citation OF governors for
the protection OF state
rights.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23
THE WHITE HOUSE GAZETTE

The editor OF the Ga :
zette has been accused
Of lack OF enterprise IN
not having @ comic sup
plement. We have q
comic supplement- It's
name 10 Loeb.
The Detroit times. [volume] (Detroit, Mich.) 1903-1920, 1908-05-23

GEIN LIEBER LOOEY-Ve haf
III receired your letter from
III Glens Falls und We vas glat
4 dot your healt' remains So
IL
Ripley County democrat. (Doniphan, Mo.) 1905-1920, 1908-04-03

"We were going around the
state asking to see the books at
Jefferson City," says Joseph
Mccoy, secretary Of the Missouri
Republican state committee.
''thst were in care of the Demo-
Gratis, and when we did find them
they were all we'll kept, but, to
our surprise, while we were ask
ing about the books at Jefferson
City, this shortage of $61, 800
was discovered in the local SUBJ
treasury, and we went down to
defeat"
Hon. Thos. r. Lane, of Doni-
phan, a friend of the editor of the
Democrat, has officially announ-
ced for state senator of his dis
trict-the twsnty-first. A few
weeks ago we said he would do
80. Mr.. Lane is a Democrat,
has served his county as prose-
outing attorney, is one Of the le-
gal lights of Southeast Missouri,
is a forceful and eloquent speak
er, and will make the campaign
interesting for any and all who
oppose him, Give them a warm
one, Tom. You can and should
win in your district. Oregon
County Democrat.
The editor of the Dunklin DEM
ocrat, at Kennett, in his last
weeks issue says: 1t is sad, in
these days when about one coun.
ty a week is adopting local op-
ton, to learn that three thousand
brewery workers in st. Louis, are
on a strike. 1t does not hurt
Dunklin; but it is grinding on
the wet section. Our people have
forgotten the taste Of beer, and
when they drink at all, take a
poor article of bottled whiskey
tnat takes the skin off the tongue
that it touches"
Ripley County democrat. (Doniphan, Mo.) 1905-1920, 1908-04-03

and guards have been assigned
to the work Of hunting and traps
ping, with the sole aim Of killing
off the animals that prey upon
stock. The work has met with
marked success, and hundreds OF
wolves and coyotes have suc-
cummed to the bullets and the
poison Of the hunter. Each ami.
NAL killed means q decided saw.
ing to sheep industry, for it ID
estimated that one wolf averages
about 81, 900 damage a year.
Forest officers are cooperating
with the stock association to stop
the stealing Of live stock and run
the rustlers out of the country.
The war on poisonous plants has
been carried on for more than o
year by the forest service, in CO.
operation with the bureau of plant
industry, and, while the investi-
cations have just begun, it is al
ready seen that their growth can
be checked in many states.
If it is possible to check the
wild horse nuisance as easily as
the other troubles which have
bothered the stock interests, both
the stockmen and forest officers
will find the Western ranges rid
of another serious drawback
which helps to rstard progress in
the business.
Ripley County democrat. (Doniphan, Mo.) 1905-1920, 1908-04-03
Boys Corn
Growing Contest,

The Missouri Boys Corn Grow,
ing Contest will be conducted
again this year as usual. The
Boys Class consists of those ov.
er 10 years, and under 16; the
young mems class, Of those ov-
er 18 and under 20 years.
Attractive premiums in cash
and merchandise will be offered.
Young men and boys should get
in line for this work. Besides
the State Corn Show at Colum.
bia, will be held the State Fair
at Sedalia and the National Corn
exposition at Omaha, Nebraska,
where, in all, thousands Of dollars
will be won by somebody. Mis-
souri, boys should win a share Of
all this.
1t costs nothing to join the
Contest. Simply send your name
to s. M. Jordan, Secretary Mis-,
souri, Corn Growers Association,
Columbia, Missouri, and you
will be enrolled as member, and
full particulars and instructions
will be sent to you.
Ifyou cannot get good seed
near home the College of Agri-
culture is prepared to give small
amounts of seed to those who en-
ter the contest, but you are ad-
vised to use homegrown seed
where at all possible.
Ripley County democrat. (Doniphan, Mo.) 1905-1920, 1908-04-03
Short Courses In
Agriculture for Boys.

The Missouri Boys Corn grow
ing contest which has been con-
Quoted for two years by the Mis-
souri, Corn Growers Association
is being continued this season
under plans that should interest
every Missouri farm boy. AS a
feature in this contest two Short
Courses in Agriculture have been
arranged for boys interested in
this work, to be given during
Farmers Convention week at
Columbia in January 1909.
One Course will be open to
boys under 16 and over 10 years
of age. This course will contin-
ue one week and include such
interesting phases of agricultur-
al work as stock judging, corn
judging, testing of milk and the
study OF soils. 1t is expected
that a large number of boys en-
gagged in this contest will come
to Columbia with their fathers OF
friends and take this course.
The second course includes
those who are over sixteen and
under twenty years Of age and is
intended to bring out the most
important principal of farm prac-
tiee. It will include such SUBJ
jects as stock judging and the
selection of farm animals, the
judging and selection of seed
corn, the principals of dairy
practice, veterinary science and
fruit growing. This course will
last ten days.
A number of banks are offer.
ing scholarships to these courses
for those boys who win first priz-
es in the various local shows and
it is expected that a number Of
boys will be able to take advan
tage Of this opportunity.
A bulletin giving full particu'
lars regarding these courses anG
also suggesting plans for holding
local contests in which scholar
ships will be offered as prizes has
just been published by the Agri'
cultural College and will be sen
on application. Every farm boy
In the state should be interested
in this plan.
s. M. JORDAN,
Sec,y Mo. Corn Growers Asso
Columbia, Missouri.
Ripley County democrat. (Doniphan, Mo.) 1905-1920, 1908-04-03
Dairy and Food Bulletin
for State ofMisscuri,
BULLETIN vi.
NOTICE TO DAIRYMEN.

PERSONALITIES Many
producers and dealers in milk
and cream seem to he laboring
under the impression that there
are on the market chemical milk
preservatives which can be leg
ally used. Such is not the case.
Keep the milk clean and cold and
it will keep sweet itself.
Short measure milk bottles are
in use in this state, same holding
only about 90 per cent OF the sup
posed amount. A pint of milk
weighs 1 pound strong and n
quart of milk weighs two pounds
strong. Test the bottles.
Dirty Milk is adulterated milk
and its sale is prohibited. When
a dark grey sediment settles to
the bottom Of a bottle OF milk
that milk is two dirty TO be safe
food for a child. In this state
there are approximately 10000
babies under one year Of aye; u
these about $4,000 are being.
raised on cows milk. Statistics
show that the likelihood Of death
of the child fed on ordin ry milk
| is four times what il is wnen fed
on really clean milk.
r. M. WAsHBURN.
State Dairy q Food Con'r,
Columbia, No.
March 20, 1908,