Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-09
TAX. BROTHERS. TAXI

II OS ANGELES is suffering from an
acute attack of taxomania. Bar
- Der chairs, bootblack stands,
clothes lines, hat pegs, toothpicks,
towels-what won't the taxgatherers
tax next? The citizen will occupy
taxed barber chair, where he will be
shaved with taxed lether and taxed
razor operated by a pol.taxed barber
He will be brushed by taxed boy
using a taxed broom. When taxomania
seizes a government there is no end to
it. Each new tax suggests another 1t
sometimes looks as if there was an Off
cial tendency to revert to the taxo-
maniac conditions which possessed
Britain for a while, when, in order to
meet the expenses of foreign wars a
tax on window glass was imposed. It
might be q good idea to tax windows
in Los Angeles. 1t would produce a
healthy revenue and would be an adroit
and mastery manner of imposing a tax
on California sunshine, which for a
long time has evaded it's responsibility.
It is one of our leading commodities, is
indispensable, and therefore, according
to city hall logic, should be taxed. An
extension of the field of the activities
of taxation will do more than merely
raise revenue. 1t will enable our high
er officials to create new salaried posi-
tions and thus pay off some of their
political debts There are some in
spectorships which, it is suggested,
might be created. The welfare of the
community demands them. Inspectors
of peanut wagon whistles should be
appointed without hay. They should
have an ear for music and should be
able to make the punishment fit the
crime. The higher the screech, the
higher the tax. With regard for
similar principle of appropriateness,
cheese inspectors should be appointed.
The tax on cheese should be proper
toned to the amount of disturbance
that article creates and the extent of
the area affected. Why not an in
spector of bootblack stands? 1t would
be his duty to see that the business of
shining was conducted according to the
rules of the oame. He would have a
fine chance of adding to his income and
to the city's, for every bootblack would
be a shining mark. An inspector of
the hitching weights by which festive
steeds are anchored to the sidewalks
while their owners are attending to
business is demanded by the necessi-
ties of the case. The heavier the
weight, the heavier the tax. An in
spector of cigarette smoke would also
be a useful official. He would be
trained to distinguish between the
high grade Turkish mixture of the elite
and the plain penetrating punk of the
punka- wallah. Us that what Kipling
calls him?) An inspector of snow shoy-
cling might find some difficulty in at
tending to the arduous duties of his
position, but in order to quiet his con-
science he could be shipped up to the
snow line once a week, accompanied by
staff of competent shovelers. All
these salaried inspectors and many
more are essential to the civic saliva
ton of Los Angeles, and of course the
tax list must be increased in order to
justify the inspectorships. With apollo
gies to Col. Twain for servile imita-
ton of his inimitable style, we COM
press the remainder of our advice into
the following easily remembered lines:
Tax, brothers, tax with care.
Tax in the presence of the passenjare.
Tax the railroad; tax the fare
Tax the carpet on the stair:
Tax tn, carpet-tackses there.
Tax. While we wall in wild despair.
Taxes, taxes, everywhere"
Tax, brothers. tax with care.
Tax in the presence of the passenjaire.