davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

hand after ALL Let's see what she's got.
Oh. Agnes. YOU caught another teenchy-
weenchy little pair to your pair of jacks.
and do you want to bet or do you want
To-
Now. l do declare" says the hostess
returning just then. that little dawg GER
tainly worries the life and soul out Of
me. and IL I didn't watch him Now,
how is this? Oh. you are playing my
cards, are you. my dear? Well. give them
to me. Oh. who opened 1t? I did? /
did not! Oh, 1T was opened for me-? Well
I thought it must have been something
like that. for I was in the front room
when it was opened. Well. is 1t my bet
then Oh, yes. you say that / opened
it or that II was opened for me. or some
thing, though 1 don't remember a thing
tie! How many are in? How many cards
did you all draw? My bet. is it? Well.
let me see. I'll bet a dime. What. do
you all drop? Well. you mean old things.
you must have guessed what I've got in
my hand. Wait a minute. Here are ONLY
four chips Somebody's shy. How?
Only three people stayed? Well. it's
mighty peculiar. deed it is. Won't some
body have some beer or lemonade or
something? Wait minute. I'll go get
some Oh. it's my deal. is 1t? Well.
somebody else deal for me then. I've
got to get some beer and I suppose that
awful dawg is tearing around in the
front room again. My, there goes that
glass of lemonade all over the cards.
Now isn't that shame? Well. yes. I've
got lots of cards. but they're all mixed up.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

stopped a southbound milk wagon a. 4
in the morning to ask for the market quo
tatioA on Attorney heifers. and so l take
his word without doubt or question.
I'm getting all the human politeness
and consideration squeezed out o. my sys-
SO rich III courtesy that. comparing 1t
with money. I had Rockefeller backed In
a corner. Now I'm as poor in that COM
modify as the head Of the Crouch family.
Why? I'll tell you.
II live out near the end Of the line. clear
over the District boundary. and it's long
trip in any morning. Usually. too. al
out of, it with bow and a take this,
madam before we've gone mile. A
couple of weeks ago 1 was buried in my
paper and didn't see flock of -emales
get aboard, but I was awakened out or
my trance when 1 heard suffering FEM
mime voice remark. Well don't care
about myself. but I would like to have
seat for mother So. bushinE with man.
ly shame. I climbed out of my coy cor
ner and made way for mother. who look
ed real juvenile for the part. too. Daugh-
ter also got a seat. as any such unSelhsh
person should. Next morning. daughter
made the same remark. only she had
seats as usual. After that l got wise. and
now when l see them coming curl up
like delirious possum. and let mother
swing with the rest of the strappers.
Back to Nature.
But that amt all said Bill. ''Condi-
tions have been a whole lot worse since
the wild flower season started. Every
woman who gets in the car that / take in
the morning is employed in one of the de-
partments. and each and every one of
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

the earth. He's been on the steamers for
a quarter of a century, always On the
Pacific side. Medical men. who know.
have told me that he is a first-class physi-
clan and surgeon. l can vouch for his
ability as a mixer of weirdly fascinating
drinks. for his unfailing good humor. for
his excellence as a story teller. for the
evenness OF his game of poker. for his ca
pacity as a compounder of exQuisitely
mysterious but toothsome chatting dish
things. for his all-round wholesomeness
and f1neness as a man. Well, fifteen
years ago, when my headquarters were
at San Francisco. / made a trip to Homo
lulu on his steamer. One day in his
cabn-he was mixing something in
shaker with a most distracted air-he be-
gan to d-n his eyes quite violently.
let him go ahead. and when he had fin
ished asked him what it was all about.
IAN about?' he said to me. reprOving1y.
Don't you see those young 'uns"
Yes. 1 saw the young 'uns-four pref
ty little children. playing on deck just
outside his cabin, under the eye of
nurse girl. But couldn't make out what
the four pretty children had to do with 1t.
No, of course you can't make out
he growled at me, because you yourself
live ashore like a white man. and you've
got a hull passed. of young 'uns. and
you've got yard with flowers in it. and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

for the pan-out debris: him for the gay
glad life of the dust camp; him. i'm fact.
for the Klondike OH the same dog-goned
steamer that the boss was going on and
IL the boss didn't like, why
The Opening Wedge.
But said the boss hoarsely. pulling
his coat lapel away from the clutch of the
Scawtchily boisterous blond young man.
If you're hiking up yonder too. and me as
good as gone. and everybody around the
works plumb bug on going. then who the
bedinged hotel? l can't walk out and
leave the blasted dump to run itself.
can't turn it over to the bell-hops or the
second cook. I'm not going to give ii
away. You tow-headed, tallow-nutted
pickle lid. who am / going to get. if you
go. to take charge of this Internal
There he iSh now. bOssh" cut i'm the
blond young man right there. pointing
wabbly finger at mel was standing at
the desk. patting the lower button of the
waistcoat with the left mitt and loungily
scanning the register. He'sh a unat-
flashed hotel man. just driftin' 'rOun'.
Grab him before he runsh away! He'sh
your man! He'sh helluva shwell mug,
and he
The boss. a big. rudy. easy-gOing
looking man. was looking me over.
Hey what's this this soused young
ster's giving me? the proprietor asked
me, walking over to the desk. You're a
guest here, amt you? Hotel MANI
"'Guest and hotel man BOTH said l.
Moreover. having noticed that circum
stances were as they were. and having
already found that the sprayish climate
of Portland was agreeing with me, why.
1t might be possible that I
Look all right to me at that. IL your
clothes didn't make SO much noise. the
boss said half to himself. Are these
toys habit with you. or
did you get 'em on a bet? pointing TO my
rumbling tweed apparel.
THAT was the wedge. We got going.
BY this time l had expected to be using
the dental floss i'm some dark Portland
all locked wickieup, charged with snag-
ging out food and drink without visible
means of coming through for the SAM.
Instead of that 1 was seated in the pri-
vate Office of the proprietor of the hotel
where / had done the snagging. blinking
the occasional tankard with him. and
submitting to q mild cross-examination
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

Of his beach Service detected q sort Of a
hollow note in his voice. We had strOlled
down to the Oakland waterfront One of
the big liners was coming up the bay
My old friend gazed wistfully at the
steamer.
About eight years ago I made
couple of cruises in that one, he said to
me in what he thought was an Offfland
tone. Good one. too. Doesn't roll at
all, but dances to it like a royal marine on
parade
II didn't say a word. But 1 felt some
thing coming.
'Er-when are you going to sea again.
he asked me. after spell
'" oh. bout next month said /.
He heaved a sigh. and then lie tried to
disguise the sigh by blowing his nose.
Say. he suddenly blurted out, lets
get away from this COMPOUNDED water. 1t
gives me foolish notions.
About a month later l dropped over to
Oakland to shake hands with him before
starting off on little voyage to japan.
With him / found the parser of the
steamer on which I was going to sail.
The two were old sea pals 81
MY old friend the doctor was asking
the purser about heap of things. About
the old crowd down ii, Honolulu-how was
the harbormaster there making out with
that sugar plantation venture Of his? Had
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

his forehead
1t wasn't Mrs. Blank. the grass widow.
at all. He conducted his wife's visitor
To the fiat. and as soon as his wife saw
her she looked delighted and formally pre-
scented her husband to Mrs. Blank. He
had never seen heretofore.
Mrs Blank and I belong to the same
bridge club. Jack his wife informed
him
Yes. my dear" said Mrs. Blank ''anh
/ came TO tell YOU that there'll be no
game tomorrow. because" etc. etc.
why. how pale you are-and Your
hand is trembling So" said the wife ~
the clip of a young married man. solicit
ously. when the visitor had gone. You're
not Ill. are you?"
''Oh. no. he replied. with labored light
ness: Just feel a bit nervous that's all:
been working like a hawss thief down at
the Office lately, and I guess it's telling
on me a Bit
You poor. overworked thing. you"
said his wife. cooling his fevered brow
with her nice. cooling hand.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

pered hoarsely in the tube. and he was
out OF the door and down. the steps like
flash of light He had but one idea.
and that was to head off Mrs Blank
I'm up against the real old thing now.
he thought frantically as lie Hoped down
the stairs to the vestibule. Il dunno
what it's all about. but if. in my spouses
present state of mind. these two ever
come together, why"
And he galloped down the steps all the
faster. AS he reached the hall the vesti-
bule door opened. and nice. wholesome
looking young woman entered the hail.
The young man gaZed at her with
somewhat strained gaze
You are he began in a tremulous
tone.
Il am Mrs. Blank said the whole
sOme-loOking young woman. sizing him
up agreeably. and yet with bit of sur
prise in her expression.
''Oh-er-yes: delighted to know you
I'm my wife's husband. " know-won't
you come right up? said he. the reac-
ton bringing out more cold beads upon
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

exchanging quips and outlets With him.
and he gave the bellbOy the key to nv
west-facing room with a bawth. and I
went up in the elevator to my room.
leaving the blonde young man laughing
violently at some little ,jaymiheris,n I
had unloaded on him-and never :. word
from him about luggage checks or any
thing OF that character.
A False Alarm.
Il ordered the bellhop to send me a
menu card. The waiter brought it up
presently. Half an hour later I was
partaking. in my west-facing room. of
steak la Bordelaise the size of a
cork mat. with a bottle Of q sound ma
tive San JoOl-yan for garnishment ard
hagon of Scawtch making inviting
motions to me from its position On the
mantelpiece. Ye-eh. poor Sad SEQUENCE
to my slide into Spraytown, ye-an. Tn
comfortable. and all like that. Shelter
less and eatless and fiuidless I suppo.c.
figured that it must be betel-nut fam
tasy. But there l was. sitting in front
Of 1t all. and my prop 'front.' the rum
bling tweed suit. still emitting its
noise. Yes, it was true. But COR how
genial Boniface. hating in his fitting
out for the Klondike to momsnrariIy
look over the register. would ind that
somebody with vibratory tweed suit,
and nothing else. had got into y roam
with bawth and was ordering and
consuming everything fit to ca, and
drink from the grillroom? Suif,;snI
with vague wOnderment over these ,e-
Elections. l was just extracting the
cork from the bottle of Scawtch when
there was a loudly raped alar,,.n en-
my chamber door.
Right here said / to myself, hur-
riedly secreting the quart In the tail
pocket of my audiphonic tweed tunic So
as to be prepared to meet the worst
with a brave and a merry heart. lis
where study the geological idiosyn-
cracies OF Oregon at first hand Right
now l am but two jumps ahead d the
Portland rock pile. This time tomorrow
l shall be out in the spray, assisting I'm
the building OF mflldam on the cdse
OF the Willamette river.
Come in sung out, prepared to see
the house detective and a Portland cop
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

about the whereforeness of my visit In
Portland. / told him the exact facts.
We'll. you sure have come plumb
across a somebody that might be straight
and on the level and worth while III he
tried the boss said to me after I'd staked
him to the exact facts about me. And
I'll tell you what I'm a-going to do. I'm
a-going to turn this hotel over to you TO
run for me while I'm Off up north. That's
a white mans offer. isn't IT? AL right.
You, knowing that to be the case. you're
a-going to treat me like white man.
I'm taking you for the way you stack zap
you've dished out the facts to me about
the foci-boy way you've been handling
yourself You can work for me- I'm
hiking on the Skagway steamer leaving
in forty-eight hours. and that milling
yaller-haired youngster that I've brought
up around here is going along. So you
are II, il you want to be. Handle me
white. and turn this plant over Ia me
when i get back i'm as goqi shape as
you're finding it. and you're a somebody
worth while. Fall down on me, and
you're mouse and a mutt. Plain talk
hey? All right. that's what I mean II
to be. Well have another drink, and
then you go to work and make> some
here: You're manager
"Wretched. ye-eh? Pairfectiy mixzable,
Just like helping to build a milldam on
the brink of the Willamette river, 1 sup
pose?
Il saw the boss and the blond Young
man and the night clerk off on the EIop-
dixie steamer two days later 1t was
still spraying. But. somehow or another
didn't feel like doing any inside spray,
ing. i felt like ] was on parole, kind a.
The old man had picked my number in
stalking me to just that kind Of a spoocb.
IL stuck. I tagged the internal sprays
from the hour | saw the klondfke steam,
er disappearing around the bend into the
Columbia river. and when the old man
got back from Dawson City a year and a
half later | was there with a spra yless
record for that period. and his hotel was
intact i'm reputation and prosperity.
Il Just mention these few rambling
lines to adorn this nub-namely that Won
really don't need luggage IL YOU haven't
got any, Similarly. the only way TO and
out IL you're scheduled for the rock nile
is to nudge right into the situation and
then see how it's going to break"
CLARENCE l.. CULLEN
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

her husband.
When the clip of young married man
reached his domicile that evening-the
evening Of the day on which he had ac-
cidentally ridden downtown with the Lore
lai-voiced Mrs. Bank-he found the wife
Of his bosom in state that oscillated
between much whimperishness and eX-
treme wrath.
'All right. my dear he said to her.
Lets have it. What have l been and
gone and done now?"
"Brute!' she exclaimed. tearfully.
Don't you dare to attempt to pull the
wool over my eyes l know all-all!'
We'll. alrs a lot. hon." said he. What s
coming off here. anyhow? You're only
fooling. aren't yOu?''
"Fooling? How dare YOU" she broke
out. tragically. do you think l don't
know who this horrid woman is that
you're languishng over at matinees. meet
ing by appointment on F street. riding
downtown with on street cars, and all
that?'
c'Gee. but this is some small town.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

lined up back of the purple-faced boss.
Dye think you'll be able to get along
all right in here till we get you SOUTH
facing room?' the blond young hotel
clerk was asking me about fifteen sec
onds later. as he cast his eye about the
swagger room and a bawth. And 1t was
all right. I'd have fallen down with the
relief of it, only l was afraid of breaking
the bottle in the tail pocket OF my coat
No Hotel for His.
'Excusing myself for moment, I
nudged into the bathroom. where 1 re-
lieved the bottle of Scawtch of it's cork.
Then 1 staked the blond young room
clerk to drink. After a while 1 fed him
another. He told me lot about him.
self He wanted to go to the klondike
with the gang The boss didn't want him
to 60. The boss was going on the next
STEAMER out. two days later himself. and
he wanted the blond young man to stick
behind and conduct the hotel In his abb
sence The blond young man couldn't
see 1t. He saw it still less with each
drink to which 1 staked him. Him for
the arctic FL Dorado. The tundra gilt for
his, said he Bright. yellow, cleaning
when all that stuff up in Alaska was
kicking around. waiting for live ones to
strell in and pick it up? Watch him! He
was going right down and dig up the boss
now!
"And so / gave him three or four more
drinks. Told him was hotel man my
self, but If had a chance to mooch up
to the Klondike. why, me in minute or
less.
well. that Twas him. too. He was glad
I'd swung along. He needed somebody to
give him the right nudge and to the mid
night sun land Of auriferous dust he must
and would go. What was mOre-after
just another drop out of that bottle-why,
he'd go right down and dig up the boss
and tell him that
We'll. he got the other little drop. and
then out he went. shaking me warmly by
the hand.
Ten minutes later I repaired below to
the hotel lobby to see how things were
going The blond young room clerk had
the purple-faced boss by coat lapel. and
was breathing his hot-Scawtch breath in
his face. telling him at close range that
he could have his old hotel; that it was
him for the rigors of the far north;' him
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

her gown was something pretty nifty in
its subtle simplicity. that-and-er-oh.
other things that occasionally drift
through the minds of male persons. mar
ried single.
This IS the place to state that the young
married man just didn't happen to think
to mention to the violet-eyed grass widow
that he was married. Yep he just didn't
happen to think to mention that matter,
somehow.
Some few afternoons later he happened
to drop into matinee performance at one
Of the theaters Just stood behind the
last row of seats to watch an act or so
of the show. The radiant grass widow
just happened to have a seat in that last
row. What more natural than that. dur
ing the intermission. the clip of young
married man should bend over and en-
gage in a cheerful little talk about the
earliness of the spring. the largeness of
the day and all similar?
And it was not up to him. of course. to
obtrude his private affairs upon Mrs.
Blank during bit Of entr'acte talk to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

T OWN B. GANSvOORT. an Ameri-
II can merchant at Shanghai, China,
talked entertainingly Of ships sur
Uo0ns and the retiring determinations
OF the surgical salts. at the Hotel Willard
the other evening.
I am on moderately chummy terms
with say. forty steamer surgeons on the
Pacific said Mr.. Gansvoort. land I've
heard all of them. one time another.
spring this talk about quitting the sea.
I've heard all OF them, I reckon. On
the sea up-billow and dOwn-wave. and
swear that they'd had enough and a-plen-
ty and too much of It,; just a few more
cruises-to hear them say it-and they
were going to give salt water a view of
their backs forever and a day.
Boutwell, they're all sailing vet, in
venting new and inviting chatting dish
combinations, experimenting on their vOy
aging friends with strangely alluring and
insdious drinks mixed in frosted shakers.
bluffipg at writing sea stories that they
never finish and getting plenty of COM
fort out of their tobacco.
FOR example. an old surgeon friend
of mine on the Yokohama-San Francisco
run. He Is now a man past fifty-a giant
Of a man who is"pleasantly remembered
by thousands of people scattered all over
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

a coy caravensary where, sheltered from
wind. weather and spray, l could apply
the handicappfng, system and find out IL
figured to cut in among the first three or
to trudge merely for the back line book
made by the downandoutsky syndicate.
! There is but one way to become a
guest of hotel. and that is to traipse in
and see IL they will let you The one
traipsed into was neat-looking glazed
brick inn on Willamette street 1t was
a stag tavern. Bachelors who lived there
looked like all the pieces-of-eight, and
they were.
Handing Out the Dope.
'Er-um-have you fair-sized corner
room with a bawth?' I inquired of the
blonde young man behind the desk, pat
ting the lower waistcoat button with the
left mitt as I took up the registering
stylus with the right.
He looked over the rack list
'Er-um-roOm with southern expos
ure. you know. II you have one.' added.
''He looked quite confused.
You wouldn't mind a room facing on
the west till we can fix you out with the
southern one. would your the blonde
young man asked me. plainly annoy ed
that he didn't have exactly what I'd
asked for
Having been a hotel clerk myself. I
did not wish to be disagreeablc toward
this one. So I told him that ! might
endure the west-facing room with Il
bawth for q day or so.
You see,' he explained. apolOSeti-
cally. we're kind o. damned up around
here KlOndike rush. EverybJJy's TT
ting out for the KlOndike here. md So
were smack up. except that west-fac ing
room with bath and one or two small
ones. Be practically empty In a couple
Of days, when the steamer sails for the
klondike. All hands going on that
steamer. Boss il going. Night clerks
going. Darned good notion to go my
self. Are you goingr
mo. I didn't ask him how che swim
ming in the North Pacific was. But
engaged him in so much amusing con-
versation that. not being meant for the
hotel business, the blonde young nan
quite forgot to ask me about my lug
gage. amused him. in fact. a-purpose
so that he wouldn't make any SUCH en-
barrassing inquiry. l registered while
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-02

clerk Of a Greaser-named hotel in San
Francisco. The office of this San Fran
cisco hotel let right in on the hotel bar
through a swinging wicker door, and the
day barkeeper was q fr1enil Of mine.
That'll be about all of that. When l left
the San Francisco hotel the hinges of the
swinging wicker door opening from the
ONCE on to the bar were ready to be re-
newed. and the path I had worn looked
like the gully alongside a bowling alley
The proprietor of the San Francisco hotel
was a rude person who suffered from
atrophy OF the imagination. He figured
the artistic temperament to be q visible
manifestation OF indurate and hopeless
rummiferousness. Maybe he didn't say
1t just like that. But that is what he
meant. And so 1 went TO Portland. Ore
Il didn't carry any luggage to Portland
Ore. Superf1uous accessories 10 travel
always annoy me. Anyhow. didn't
have any luggage. The front consisted
OF megaphonic cutaway Xlit Of check
erbOard tweed that emitted low, rum
bling sound even when shed at night and
hung up on a nail. It looked like a St.
Andrews golf cravenette whitfield into
three garments. Being waterproof. II
didn't mind the Portland spray
Free Lunch Suspended.
1T was. as say. spraying about 10
inches per hour in Portland when I got
there. 1 felt Of the four-blt piece in the
change pocket of the purring tweed tunic
and resolved to make the distribution of
Portland dampness an even thing all
around. Exterior wetness only, without
any consideration for internal moistening.
looked like permitting nature to 20 too
far with her righteousness. So I trudged
through the spray. hunting for the Port
land place that looked as il IL might
have lot of respect for four bits and
that amount only. The place that
finally found looked like the dug-out
cabaret In The Two Orphans. and I
doped ii out that I'd probably be allowed
to stay there and dip in for a fortnight
at least with all Of those 80 cents on me.
But they charged me two bits for the
very first one l ordered. And there was
a sign that read Free Lunch Entirely
Suspended hanging back OF the bar
didn; complain. But ] could see that
Portland. Ore. was too high-priced a
town for anybody with two bits In the
kick to riot and royster on
1t was then that l resolved to seek out