New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-09-20

-
reader after years of vain guesswork AT
first these condolences were merely amusing
then it was supposed that most OF them were
either Jokes or tricks in aid OF business; but
as the collection grew into the thousands
these explanations ceased to explain Has
fatalism its humorous side Is there a nyS-
ferrous force behind the freewill determine
ton of Mr. Bull to become a butcher tx
cept i'll children's toybooks this familiar COM
bination has not been met by the writer,
though he once came upon the happier name
of Bullman over meat store
The following equally suitable matlngS OF
names with trades are few OF many gathered
in soiournings in more lands than one. and
are given exactly as they were discovered on
signbOards, in advertisements, IN directories
in news reports, and in social intercourse
Without attempting strict classification,
the clergy shall be honored with the lead.
Bishop McVicar, who IS wear maker ef
Of7ciO, is more blest IN his trade name tnsn
the Curate afflicted with that of Ph1bbS The
late Archbishop Temple added to the glory
of his workshop as in their lesser degree did
his subordinates ArchdeacOn Sanctuary. and
that other ArchdeaCon with so cusSed a cog
nomen as Gust. prefixed, however and Purl-
fed by the hvphenated Purey. Now comes
procession of surpliced clerics reverend doc
tors and NJ A s, Pope, Parsons, Cope, Church
(Dean of St Paul's CathedraD, ChaPPell, and
Crucifx Their pulpits did not uPheave to
cast out the Revs Goody, Twist, Prater.
Grifinhoofe. nor even Twopenny, whose name
might seem a hoodoo in the eyes OF those
responsible for the free will offerings.
We have listened to the preaching OF a
Pentecost, Christian, also to an AIbut,
Hellmouth (mnuS the O), and Yenoly (rn1nus
an h We have realized "Hark, from the
Tombs dismal wall" if the old hymn IS cor
rectlv quoted. and have heard Rev. Zoe, a
more famous Rev. Going Rev Wendt. and
though the second one actually went over,
many sound Protestant stalwaTtS found Solace
in the then very celebrated DR. Cumming,
whose works predicting the speedy end of the
world lost none of their popularity by the
revelation that he had renewed the lease OF
his house for thirty years He was Scot
Canon Body and the Rev. Mr.. Bodily were
related only professionally. and there IS no
cousinship beyond that of pious oddlty IN the
connection of w. Restored Jones and the Rev
II. Preserved Smith There is something re-
pulSive in the Philadelphia papers advertise
ment, "RatcatCher Christ; but the shock Is
milder on reading the sentencing OF pick
pocket so named.
Doctors get bad enough names at times
from disgrunted i1npatients, without needing
aid from their parents We copy from their
door plates these confessions. warnings, or
what You please to make of them Dr. Reck-
less, DIR Ill, DIR Cruel. DR. Fever, DR.. PhySlc,
and then, in natural sequence, follow DR.
Death, DR.. Coffin and DR. Trimmer Whether
it applies to his patient or himself, DIR Good
wins is a name to Conure with but obviously
Dr. ToOgoOd IS SatiriSt, as Mr. Jolly Death
is-or was-no fanatic for reverence: but
being only an inquiry agent the doctors have
not his sin to add to their misfortunes.
Mr. Tricks, being only law stationer. must
be acquitted of any closer affinity with the
artful profession Mr.. Whereat probably
always knows where he stands, or lies. Green
and Cheese seem to be good things in the wrong
place In a lawyers office, unless the client is
green and the cheese is high The official
assignee's office in the London bankruptcy
court had three legal functionaries whose
names were Innocent, Dove, and Angel a
former Park Commissioner of New York bore
the name of Gallup, and in his will he appointed
his partner, Hurry, as trustee. W. b. Argue
is a lawyer: SO is Mr.. Lovesay; but Mr.
Dialogue is a contractor
A New York publisher was named Delay.
Whether he still fingers or not, he has pro-
fessional progeny fully entitled to enrolment
on the list of the booksellers peerage as Barons
Oily Daily. Postpone. Prorogue and Pro-
crastinate. Their author victims doomed to
short patience and long suffering NAV snatch
momentary relief in noting that there are
undertakers who really undertake what they
profess, and with promptness and despatch
The names of these are Mr.. Toll. Mr. Diem,
Mr.. Stretch, Mr.. Mould and Mr.. Coffin
The Cheeriest of names for his trade was
that of Mr.. Heaven, well known dyer I'm