davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

Those London suffragettes are learn
Ing to throw straight. With Orickbat
they can hit large plate glass win
6nvu
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19
Hard Headed Farmers.

We often hear this expression: THE
hard headed farmer" We might more
appropriately say: 1.-THE clear headed
farmer''-the one who farms with his
brain as we'll as his hands. There is
no place more conducive to clear think
ing and close observing than upoh the
modern, up-to-date farm, and no body
of men will take higher rank for vir-
tue, right thinking and right living.
When a United States Judge wants a
good Jury he usually draws from
panel made up largely Of farmers. The
farmer of to-day is a great improve
ment on his prototype Of generation
ago. Rural delivery, the telephone
and the daily papers are making him
a more up-to-date citizen. The gold
brick" industry is rapidly declining, as
the farmer grows under the influence
of the new conditions.
There is one need that is really
greater than those mentioned and that
is Good Roads. Good roads spell in
creased prosperity, increase in farm
values higher education, improved so
cial conditions and a stacking up of
the drifting Of young men and women
from the farms to the cities; better
church attendance, moral and spiritual
growth aid a more symmetrical devel-
opment Of the present and coming gen.
erations Good roads pay a larger div
idend than any other investment and
they pay these dividends not once or
twice a year, but practically every day
in the year.
A State aid plan for building the
roads so divides the burden that 1t is
not oppressive, in fact there is usually
no pronounced increase in the tax
rate. Fifteen States have already
adopted State aid and more are COM
ing into line.
Farmers Who Fight Good Roads.
A large majority, probably three
fourths of the farmers Of the West,
are in favor Of good roads and would
not object to a moderate increase In
taxation If thereby they could have
good roads to use. There is, however,
an active and very noisy minority who
vigorously oppose any and every move
ment for building hard, permanent
roads. What they lack in numbers
they usually make up with noise.
The backbone of this opposition is
composed of retired farmers who have
moved to town and rented their farms
at from So to Sc per acre cash rent,
or get half Of the crop delivered.
Mark the delivered).
Under the State aid plan Of build
ing roads, which contemplates taxing
of city, corporation and all other prop
erty as well as farm lands, the maxi
mum tax that can be levied over a
series Of years for both State aid and
local tax, has been figured out on an
Illinois farm will not exceed 10 cents
per acre per year. There is no doubt
about these figures being correct. The
tax in adjoining States would be two
or three cents per acre high, because
there is relatively less city and cor
poration property to tax. Two per
cent Of the rent will pay the bill. Good
roads will add from 10 to % per cent
to the cash value of, the farms reached
bv them. There is no class of farm
ers in the State who would be bene-
flied more largely by these good roads
than the retired FARMERS and none are
so we'll able to pay the bill.
oil ho, boz b. =,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

The odds are all against the woman
who marries for the purpose Of getting
even.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

We cannot help wondering how many
extra steps King Alfonso has taken
G &c the new boy arrived.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

If only people who could afford to
lose would bet on horse races there
would be less harm in the sport.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

When a man is forced to eat crow he
q apt to consider a bird in the bush
better than two in the hand.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

The only time a man does not kick
when his name is spelled wrong is
when it appears in the police court
docket.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

Many q man wakes up with a head
ache the next morning after his wife
goes away on q visit.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

She is indeed a homeIy woman who
can't make up to look pretty in photo
graph.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

A man never realizes how much hero
Ism there is missing from his makeup
until he is put to the test.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

When a woman won't she won't-and
the reason she won't is because.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

The shiftless man should be com
PEELED to shift for himself.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

There's more noise than harmony In
chin music.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

Some helpless people manage to helI
themselves to more.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

When a mother tells her boy ne is
getting to be just like his father, he
knows very well 1t is not intended as a
compliment
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

Lois of men buy experience by bet
ting on horse races.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

Most men would be willing to &C
knowledge their faults-if they had
any.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

When women heed the call to arms
men must face the powder.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

A broken heart mends easier than
broken credit.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

There's probably something oOing in
the ghost-laying line when the shades
OF night begin to fall.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

AS a work of art the self-made man
iEn't in it with the self-made woman.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19
.Du.t ThFoat, a New Disease.

London physicians report many vic
tins of "dust throat" the result Of
continued sunshine and lack Of rain.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-08-19

4 lot Of gossip has a pink-tea flavor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04
TALKING ROOSEVELT AGAIN.

Most of the political experts at Wash
ington are writing stories these days
for their papers to the effect that many
of the Republican leaders believe that
President Roosevelt is gradually de-
veloping some sort Of a plot whereby
the Republican national convention
will be forced to renominate him and
he will be forced to take the nominal
ton. These writer's insist that things
are so shaping themselves, because of
the inactivity of congress on matters
of legislation that Mr.. Roosevelt and
the people demand, that the condition
will devlop whore IL will become evil
dent that the only man who has a ghost
of show Of carrying out the Roosevelt
policies which are so popular with the
people is Roosevelt himself. Therefore,
they argue, he must and will be re-
nominated
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04


Some folks who wrap themselves up
in their own thoughts are in great dan
ger of catching cold.
X n
There's good reason for calling a
criminal crooked when he becames one
by trying to make both ends meet.
n
The average man need not worry
much about marrying a girl who is his
inferior intellectually. There are few
of them.
X y
It's hard work for a collector for a
gas company to impress upon people
the fact that figures do not lie.
X X
The highest exemplificatfon OF horse
play is developed by a party of auto
mobilists who have to drag home a
broken down motor car.
X X
If some lads told the exact truth
they would confess to attending Sun
day school for the simple reason thar
their parents would whip them il they
didn't.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04
GLOBE SIGHTS.
From the Atchison G1ol

From the Atchison Globe.1
The only way to win a lawsuit is
to keep out.
Meanness in a boy so often devel-
ops into worthlessness.
No boy is thoroughly satisfied UNI
less he owns Shepherd dog.
You always know what some peo-
pie will speak about when you see
them approaching: the weather
Country people have an idea that
there is town way of making mon
ey that they know nothing about.
"A woman's faults may not be as
bad as a MANS" we heard a man say
the other day, "but they are quite as
trying to him as his are to her."
Some men are naturally meddlesome
and do not know 1t. Look yourself ov-
err: do you butt in, and make yourself
unnecessary enemies?
Men do not like to be bothered by
women selling tickets. However po-
lttely they may receive the women
they will fuss in private. A woman
has no right to work her friends in
the ticket way.
Staying up late is not what it is
more fun than anybody in the world
If you can go to bed at o'clock and
fall asleep the moment your head
strikes the pillow
A great deal of the unhappiness in
the world is due to the habit people
have of expecting something that can
not happen. The letter with money
in 1t that you are expecting cannot
arrive because it was never sent.
When bachelor girl supports her
self, and lives alone, her housekeep-
ing instinct is SO strong that she will
nave little stove up in her room,
and cook her meals on it, and enjoy
her dainty housekeeping immensely.
But the minute she gets married. she
wants to go to boarding
society adopts great many young
men whose sisters 1t refuses to re-
cognize. 1t is not because the young
| men are any better looking, or any
brighter, or amount to any more: it
Is because men are so frightfully
scarce. Young men never have to
dance with young men at a party, the
way girls have to dance with each
other.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IErnm the Chicago N

[From the Chicago NeWs.J
Trouble soon pines away and dies II
neglected.
Sometimes there is trouble brewing
in a brewery.
Many a homely woman has posed
as a beauty specialist.
It is possible to acquire round
sum in a square deal.
woman's tears and q dogs limp are
not always what they seem.
It doesn't do much good to talk to
the average man for his own good.
Some men think they know enough
IL they know where they can borrow
money.
Honesty is the best policy. but too
many people fall to Keep the pre-
miums paid up.
woman Is never satisfied with
herself until she has put II all over
her neighbor in some way.
Life is merely q game Of chance
and fate seems to have stacked the
cards against most OF us.
Nothing jolts q narrow-minded
man more than being forced to admit
that he is in the wrong.
The world says only good things
about men who are dead-but not
about those who are dead broke.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04

Farm Life" He made a very in-
teresting picture with his bandaged
arm and his smoking jacket thrown
about his shoulders.
What can 1 say?'' said Muriel as
she reached forth q supplicating hand
to meet his free one.
II don't know what you can say, but
there's a heap Of things you can do"
boldly asserted the invalid.
MISUNDERSTANDING! cried Muriel
''Well. sit down for one thing" said
Pierce as he pulled chair very close
to his. She sat down beside him, and
it was twilight when she left.
1t was q matter Of comment In the
neighborhood that Mr.. Ellkins nursed q
broken arm for the longest time on
record. When neighbors inquired Of
the local doctor how the patient prog
ressed the doctor shook his head and
smiled
"A serious case" was his only COM
ment. "a very. very serious case."-
copyrighted. 1908. by Associated Lit
erary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04
NYHAWKER JOTS

One Kansas paper calls it a kin
dergarden. That's near enough.
The Spanish war veterans have or
ganized camp in Hutchinson with ].
U. Brown as commander.
The Jewell County Monitor comes
out for another reform and declares
that the men who express opinions
should prepay the charges.
In return for the Fredonia Herald's
enterprise in putting in typesetting
machine the city council asked the
editor to reduce the price OF the city
printing.
]. p. Harris of Ottawa advertises
that he wants to buy "a horse for a
lady not afraid OF automobiles" Why
doesn't Mr.. Harris buy the lady a
touring car?
ended and the girl was given a YER
dict for $2,700. The Beloit Times says
the letters were spicy enough to suit
the most exacting.
The editor of the Logan Republi-
can remarks that he has been watch
ing his strawberry patch and he fig
ures that it won't be many weeks I'M
til I'VE shall enjoy the fruit of our
own vine.'"
A prize of IS was offered for the
best "official motto" for the Concor-
dia Commercial club. The motto was
limited to i've words. The one adopt
ed is: Pushing, Expanding. Growing
Watch Concordia."
A Rod and Gun club has been or
ganized in Franklin county for the
purpose, among others, OF stocking
the streams with fish. This Is one in
stance in which no objection will be
offered to the stock watering.
Oral Franklin and Gilbert Rawson
of Driftwood. Rawlins county, killed
a bona f1de porcupine one day last
week. They have the distinction of
has ever been seen in that county, &C
cording to the oldest inhabitants.
Bert Miller approves the proposed
dramatization Of Three Weeks" since
he has learned that Mrs. Glyn's pur-
pose is to bring out the moral lesson
moral" he says, "the fact ought to
be gotten to the public in some way"
A certain kind of "fun" cost some
thing when Squire Porter of Sterling
fixes the bill This was discovered by
a local celebrity there who delved too
deeply in the flowing bowl the other
night. When the squire had assessed
a fine and figured up the costs they
amounted to $33.
1.-The Denver Express" Is the title
of a melodrama that is playing along
the kerosene circuit. The Garnett
Plaindealer's critic declares it will
have to do a larger box office business
than it drew in Garnett or 1t will beat
the Missouri Pacific into the hands
Of a receiver.
Three men were arrested near
Wichita the other day for shooting q
hen belonging to a farmer and then
eating it. They insisted that they
made their meal of a rabbit but evil
dence was produced against them
which made it certain that If it was
rabbit it was one of an unusual
variety in that it must have had
feathers on 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04
KANSAS COAAENT
HARD ON THE poIJTIcrANs

HARD ON, THE POLITICIANS.
we get sore On grafters who come
around ana work US for fifty cents OF
dollar, and we waste a whole lot OF
time abusing them. But when a poll
tlclan comes and takes up your time
ana gets you out to go and hustle for
a and make enemies, and when you
ne awake nights thinking about how
you can get in your work next day for
the Ieilow you want. and find a few
votSs TOT MIN, you think your time
wen spent AS matter of fact, the
IeiioW who sold you cake of soap
Ior a quarter that was worth only a
nickel. and the one who coaxed you
into buying a book for a dollar that
you are ashamed to carry home, is a
gentleman and a friend to you COM
pared 10 the politician who robs you
OF your time, and whatever influence
you may have, and who talks to you
When you are busy. and bores you
Wnen you are tired. The politician is
the curse of our modern social and
pontlcal system, and it begins to look
as though the primary law has quad
rupled the nuisance.-Lawrence Ca
zette.
NEWSPAPER "TALK?"
"A great deal of the talk" one hears
OF trouble and other unpleasant things
is without foundation in fact. And it
ents are not above this talking" hab-
It; A few weeks ago a story was
widely circulated from New York to
the erect that Frank Gould and his
wife were having domestic difficulties,
and that the wife would suit for di-
vorce. Some Of the enterprising cor
respondents even went so far as to tell
what Mr.. Gould had to say about tho
matter. and how he blamed it all on
mis- being rich man. It was said he
was very Jealous OF his wife. which
was the main cause Of their unpleas-
ant relations.
Now, an interview with the wife is
pelng printed. in which she declares
there has never been any trouble be-
tween her and her husband; that he
mas simply gone. to Hot Springs, Va,
TO rest UP, and that he will return to
his home when he is feeling better.
Just now 1t is uncertain which one
or these stories Is true, but the latter,
being the most sensible and conserva-
tive. 1t Is the most pleasant to believe,
at least. The first one was probably
started because some correspondent
discovered a Gould family that had
had no marital troubles, and thought
that, being Goulds, they ought to.
Talk" Is so often fixed up to suit
the takers taste.-Atchison Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04
FOOLS AND PRINCESSES.

President Roosevelt made no at
tempt, in his recent special message to
congress, to conceal his contempt for
"the particular kind of multimillion-
aire who is almost the least enviable,
and is certainly one Of the least admir-
able of all our citizens; whose
son is a fool and whose daughter is a
foreign princess" It is harsh language,
but it is the language Of Americanism.
1t is not the language of charity, but
many have suspected that there may
be times when charity is not the
proper virtue to apply.
Most of US know what the presi-
dent means. The possession Of great
wealth is not a crime. 1t is even al
lowable to have wrung that wealth on,
of the people by clever business ability.
But to use that wealth in such a way
as to bring discredit on the country is
criminal, traitorous. The man who
lets his wealth so wreck him that his
progeny is degenerate-andt there are
plenty of such instances; he who lets
his wealth be used to buv foreign
titles and heartaches for his daughters
instead of training the girls to love
their own country and seek honest
husbands at home-and there are
many such; they are to be condemned
while they are to be pitied. They are
to be condemned because their influ-
ence must be nullif1ed. They are to be
pitied because they are doomed to sor-
row, suffering. destruction and OBJ
livion. They shall live dishonored,
And doubly dying, shall go down
To the vile dust from which they
sprung,
Unwept, unhonored and unsung.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04

Congress has made provision for an
appropriation of $4,000 for the pur-
poses of the commerce commission in
investigating the books of the railway
companies in the country to ascertain
II certain portions of the Hepburn rate
law are being complied with. Presi-
dent Roosevelt has let it be known
that this sum will be entirely made
uuate. He suggests that it should be
something all the way from s250.OOo
to 100000. The chances are that this
will be another case of not what the
president wants. but what he gets.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04
HUA0p OF THE Day

Here. you!" growled the cranky
man in the reading room. you've
been snoring horribly" ugh! hey?"
gurgled the drowsy one. III you only
kept your mouth shut" went on the
cranky one. you wouldn't make 90
much noise" Neither would you."
replied the other.-Philadelphia In
Quirer.
The months were talking. 'I al
ways envy you." said June to Febfu-
little fellow. Eyes" June answered.
affecting that sweetness which drives
the poets wild, you are the only one
of us that ever gets q day off."--St.
Louis Post-Dispatch.
Lovers once. but strangers now"
sighed the romantic one. Married 2"
inquired the practical frtend.-Louis-
Vile Courier-Journal.
Mrs. Knicker-Henry, why did you
leave your shoes on the stairs last
night? Knicker (dazed. but inspired)
English custom, m'dear; left EN- to
be blacked.-Puok.
The Sergeant Gin the discharge of
his duty)-What's yer name? The
Prisoner - observation-disclosures =
The Sergeant axed yer name-1
don't give a domb what yer cable adj
dress isi-Puck.
foreign nobleman. Eyes" yawned
the beautiful girl. "just a plain
American beef baron or pork prince
is good enough for me."-Washington
Herald.
She-He is a person Of perfect ease
and self-possession, and is thoroughly
at home anywhere. He-Yes, he even
has the faculty Of making you feel
total stranger in your own house.
Tit Bits.
Father" asked Rollo, what is
fnancier?" "a financier. my son, diff
fers from the ordinary business man
in being able to make the government
sit up and worry when his affairs do
not go right."-Wasp.
WELL" remarked the man who ia
vored greater navy, that recent war
in the east was a great lesson to u.s..
That's what" replied the plain cfti-
zen. 1--WE learned a lot of new
names that never knew were in the
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Press. %
Nameless But All Right.-"what
play did you see?" asked the amiable
mistress of her maid. who had been
taken by her best young man to the
theater the evening before. ''They
didn't tell the name of it," returned
the maid. cit said on the outside OF
the theater that 1t was as you like It,,
and 1 did like it, but 1 don't know the
name."-New York Times.
GUARDING Against Error.-Assistant
(to country editor)-How's this obitu-
ary? Editor-Why, it's my own. Yes.
That Haskins chap-the dead shot
was in here yesterday looking for you
with a gun, and I thought II anything
rect the proofs before hand.''-Life.
Poor Chap!-visitor-D you find
II economical to do your own cooking?
Young Wife-Oh, yes; my husband
doesn't eat half as much as when we
had a cook.-Comic Cuts.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04

With the approach of summer and it's
warm days when thirsts are aggravat-
ed there also comes the epidemic of
stomach trouble, under the name of in
digestion, which is wont to prevail
among Topekans. This is evidenced by
the way the reported sales of liquor
by druggists are mounting up. If you
don't know it, the only efficacious rem
edy for indigestion around these parts,
according to the druggists books, is
haar
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
LFrom the Phfladelphia Record. ]
BUY words-"How much 2"

(From the Philadelphia Record
Buy words-"How much?"
Push Is a good weapon. but pull
kills more game.
Some fellows never make q stand
until they can't run any farther.
The mere doing Of ones duty
doesn't entitle one to strike an at
titude.
Some girls fish for husbands. ma
some buy them in the market.
Dare to do right and you will soon
have q reputation for being poor but
honest.
You can give some people q piece
Of your mind without improving them
mentally.
When a woman begins to wrinl1a
you can't convince her that her lines
are cast in pleasant places.
After man has reaped his roIdan
harvest 1t ia easy enough for him to
preach the doctrine Of making hav
while the sun shines.
Tommy-"Pop, what II the best
man at a wedding?" Tommy's Pon~
1.-THE best man at q wedding. INV son
is the one who isn't getting married."
Sillicus-"Here's . piece in the mn
per about q man out west tradin~ II.
wife for an automobile" Cyn1cus..l
That's good bit Hike 5um0iuG &c.
the trying pan into tbs 1eolb
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-04

on the liquor question. Twelve Of
them just recently acquitted man
against whom some pretty strong evil
dence was presented that he had been
the proprietor of a joint. This case
was the first of a series of similar ones
that have been set for trial in the
district court there and in the prosecu-
ton of which the state attorney gen.
erals office is participating. 1t Is
probable that the rest of the cases will
be set over until the next term of the
court.