davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18

Following 4th of March on the oeath Of
Harrison. the 4th of April.
Again. in 1s4s. he was offered the
second place on the ticket with Taylor.
angry and disappointed that a rough
old soldier. having no experience in
civil life. had been preferred TO him for
first place. he Indignantly declined it
and again threw away the presidency.
for Taylor died a little more than a
year after he entered the White house.
What difference it might. nay. it
would, have made in the political his
tory of the country if Webster. instead
of Tyler. had succeeded Harrison in
1S41p'
Theodore Roosevelt, swearing he
would ne'er consent, consented" TO ac-
cept the vice presidential nomination
at Philadelphia in 1900 Roosevelt. then
governor Of New York. thought he was
too big a man to accept the vice pres
ideney. He believed that in 1904 he
might have a chance for first place. and
he feared the vice presidential nominal
ton would shelve him. The activity of
his enemies within the Republican par
~ encouraged this belief, for they in
sisted upon his taking second place on
the Philadelphia ticket. A little more
than year later he became president.
No man, of course, is worthy of the
vice presidency who accepts it in the
qualification of his chief, may carry
him up. But there is always the pos
sibility that something may happen.
National onventions should look to it.
They should see that no man unworthy
TO be president is nominated for vice
president, for no man can say when
the vice president may be called upon
TO assume the responsibilities and du-
ties of the higher place.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
THE VICE PRESIDENCY.

Friends Of Governor Hughes of New
York and Governor Johnson of Mime
sofa have declared that under no cir
cumstances' Will either accept his
party's nomination for the vice presi-
dency. And Yet the vice presidency is
a very honorable office Also. IL has
been the stepping stone by which some
Of our presidents have reached the
highest Office in the world. in one Of
the interesting historical editorials he
knows so well how TO write. Editor
Henry Watterson Of the Louisville
Courier-Journal, touching on this
point. says:
"Of all the great historic Americans
who made the White House the object
Of their hearts desire. and never got
there, the case OF Daniel Webster
seems to us the most pathetic. Yet. ex-
eept for his self-conceit. il might have
been his. Twice he scOrnfuliy put IL
aside. Twice he waved away with
contempt the angels OF good fortune
lowering over him. He was urged to
take the nomination for vice president
on the ticket with Harrison in 1870.
If his high-mightiness had not inter-
posed a refusal he would have been
president within thirty days after the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
THE MAINE SOLOMON.


DIT. James X. Day of Syracuse uni
versity was discussing his recent as
sertiOn that some ministers preach in a
sensational manner. usurping the place
of the sensational press.
These men," he said. interpret the
scriptures TO their own advantage.
They are precisely like a magistrate
they used TO laugh about in Whitney
Vile One of his decisions gained him
the title OF the Maine Solomon
Two women came before this magis-
trate with a fine fat pullet, each de-
claring that it belonged to herself.
The magistrate, from his high seat,
frowned heavily at the first woman.
o." Does this pullet belong 10 Mrs.
Jones?' he asked her.
No, indeed, it don't, sir she re-
piled
Then he turned TO the other wo-
man.
Does this pullet belong to Mrs.
Smith?'
TT certainly does not the second
woman replied.
The pullet.' the magistrate then
decreed. does not belong to Mrs. Jones,
nor does it belong 10 Mrs. Smith. The
pullet is mine Janitor. take il round
to the house and give il 10 my cook ="
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
TESTS OF DRUNKENNESS
Laying Down and Grabbing Grass to Stay on Earth Old Definition

road into a meadow. He then lay down
and held to tie grass TO keep from
falling off
This was the idea i'm the olden days
of Merrie England. AS long as a man
was able 10 stand. and even after
ward, as long as he wasn't dead TO
the world, he was comparatively so
Der. According 10 the old chrOniclers.
gentlemen of that day gathered
around the "wassail bowl" and was
sailed until they fell under the table
~dronken."
= police official expressed himself to
the effect that il was not for a police
man to determine whether a man was
drunk but for the judge of the court.
All that a patrolman could or should
do was 10 present the charge against
the man. There is a tendency" said
the official. Ito give the man a show"
If a man should pass along the
street who had been drinking. or who
seemed to have been doing so, he
would be let alone unless he was max
ing himself obnoxious 10 others, or un-
less he was known as a hard charac-
ter IF he was staggering all over the
sidewalk. falling down. and was alb
solutely helpless the policeman would
take charge of him, lodge him over
night i'm the station house, and IL he
appeared 10 be a respectable man and
not q common bum. let him of the
next morning with a small fine and no
publicity.
Every man who is arrested and
brought before the court on a charge
of drunkenness has presumably been
drinking to excess. and the policeman
brings him 10 court on that charge
and makes the accusation. 1t is the
opinion Of that particular policeman
that that particular man was drunk.
Whether or not he was the judge
should decide"
There are various degrees of drunk
enness i'm the generally accepted def
milton of the term. but there are only
two in the law-the "visibiy excited
passions" and impaired judgment
In the speech of the day, the layman
indicates certain degree Of drunkefl-'
ness when he says man has a
skate" Jag" edge" genial"
bum" tide load" and a few
others.
To any one who desires TO decide for
himself his condition, the following
ribaid rhyme is recommended:
When your heels hit hard and your
head feels queer.
And your thoughts rise up like the
frOth on beer.
When your knees are weak and your
voice is strong,
And you laugh all night at some darn
fool song
You're druk, by Joove' You're
drunk
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
BASE BALL.

The Herald most assuredly hopes that
the plans nov under way for the for
nation of a state baseball league will
be carried to a successful issue. There
is no good reason why such cities as
Ogden. Logan and Provo should not
join with Salt Lake City in the forma-
ton OF a league. Park City and Eu-
reka might be added, making six-club
league within the state. With a rea-
sOnably low salary limit and a suffi-
cient amount in the league treasury TO
guarantee the completion of the season
by each club. the state would be given
a very fair article of baseball
1t is not necessary for US TO discuss
baseball as a game 1t is the national
sport, and deservedly so. There is
hardly a city in the United States of
approximately the size of Salt Lake
that does not support a nine, either in
league or as an independent organi-
ZatiOn. And Salt Lake would support 2
league team if its geographical disad-
vantages were not so great as to make
il impossible for us 10 get into a league
composed in part of teams from other
states. The long and costly railroad
trips make a handicap that is insuper-
able
The state league is an entirely differ
ent proposition. l. can be made a sue
cess. Certainly it is the only means
through which We can hope 10 have
baseball here this season. 1t would not,
of course. be baseball of the quality
presented TO jewellers in what are
known as big league" cities. But it
would be immensely preferable TO no
baseball at ali. And you needn't mag
inc that il would be such an inferior
quality of the national sport, either
There is something in this mountain
air that seems to be good for baseball
players. Utah has either produced or
has given training TO a number of
stars Of the game. The roster of play
ers of the more important leagues
shows the names of many men whose
faces are familiar to Utah lovers of
baseball Those men made good here
and they are making good in faster
company. The proposed season of state
league ball would not be advanced
more tnan a month or two before new
stars would be developed and We would
see some first-class contests.
Baseball is the finest, cleanest, most
popular sport in the United States. It
is freer from dishonesty, from unfair
work, than any sport we have. And
the interesting combinations it con-
tains are limitless. There is no finer
recreation for the beholder, nor is there
any better exercise for the participant.
BY all means let the Utah league be or
ganized without delay.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
HOW TO LIVE 120 YEARS.
Chew Your Soup and Never Eat
When You Are Worried.
New York Tribune. }


"In five years from now IL will not
be considered respectable to be sick
Many more cheerful promises We're
made yesterday morning by Horace
Fletcher to an audience composed
chiefly of women, that crowded the
Berkeley theatre to hear him lecture
on Human Efficiency"
The duration of life now should be
120 years" was a sentiment applauded
by the healthy.
1.-THE greatest source of unhappiness
in the world today is the mouth. con-
tinued Mr. Fletcher You should eat
when you feel like it, eat what you
may crave at the time. and, above all,
you should chew your food.
You may feel like ridiculing the idea
that il is well TO chew your soup. I
will. however. ask you to try ii. II
will improve the soup and help you.
Never eat when worried. nervous or
angry. II is making and absorbing
poison to do So
Mention being made that Dr. Wiley
had recommended the boiling of meat.
unchewed. like a dog. the audience was
requested to try that method for long
enough time-six months was suggest
ed-''to test the durability and desira-
bility of the plan in action
How about fasting? ?" inquired a
woman.
Fasting is natures universal cure
for all manner Of diseases" replied Mr..
Fletcher. II have known of cases of
that have been completely
cured by a fifteen TO thirty five-day
fast. | know a physician who tasted
for twenty-One days. during which time
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
INVENT SOMETHING.
New York Press.)

Here is a paragraph for all young
men to read: Invent something. No
vast amount of brain effort was needed
to invent this little paper holder, yet
within a few months our old conductor
(knOwn all over New England, New
York and New Jersey did invent il;
and he is now on the high road to for
tune. Don't try TO invent new style
of steam engine; don't try To invent
new eccentric: don't try to get a
patent on the obstacle to the elimina-
ton of the solar system. Just invent
a little matter of a few cents worth OF
something that all the people need.
Our old conductor, 80 years on the
rail. had one order yesterday for 10000
Of his paper holders. and in the last
week several other orders ranging from
5000 to 1000 He sOlicits trade. his
good wife takes care of all the cor
respondents. and his son packs and
ships the goods.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
ARTIST AND GAME COCKS.
Homer Davenport Tells "AI" Lewis
of the Troubles He's Having.
beau Broadway i'm New York Tele-
graph i

beau Broadway i'm New York Tele-
graph)
Ii was in the Hoffman house the
other night that Homer Davenport. the
cartoonist said plaintiveIy:
Il m having all sorts of trouble with
those Jap lighting chickens of mine.
The dopes l fight 'em against want to
bar them. claiming fouls"
Why, how can a fighting rooster
commit fOul?" asked Alfred Henry
Lewis. who was lending an attentive
ear to the peevish complaint of Daven-
port. Il never understood that there
were two Marquis of Queensbury rules
for a cockpit"
We'll, that time / fought em
against Burke, there were not only
claims OF fouls. but Burke said my
chickens weren't fighting cocks at all.
He said they were eagles"
There was a plaintive tone in the
voice of Davenport; the tone of a man
crying out against the injustice of
those who We're determined to prevent
him improving the breed" beyond a
certain point.
But you know these japanese
chickens of mine fight funny" said
'Davey." There's never been anything
in this country that acted anything
like them.
Burke went crazy when he saw the
way my first Jap went after his fowl.
My bird looked his over for a minute
and then reached out and grabbed it
around the neck with his claw and
stabbed half dozen times.
Davenport illustrated the scene with
adequate and convincing gestures. He
reached one brawny fist Cut into the
atmosphere and then made iabbing
| gestures toward it with the other.
1T was just like that" said Daven-
port. My bird just caught his around
the neck and just stabbed it to death. "
When one remembers the effective
work that can be done by the drop
socket gaff invented by Davenport for
use in cock fighting. it can easily be
comprehended that what the Jap chick
! did to the shawl neck was a shame and
an outrage and a disgrace.
Burke simply. went crazy as he
watched my birds, said Davenport
/ still complaining. He was claiming
| fouls all the time. You see, one trick
| of my birds is to reach over and grab
/ the other rooster by the neck and then
grab the other chickens head IN his bin
and pull il out till the other chickens
neck stretches out like rubber band
After this sort of thing has been done
a few times the other chicken gets dis
ged and then the Jap fighter
sticks a gaff in his neck and LAYS him
over. Burke said he never saw such
outrageous conduct on the part Of a
chicken and wanted to call the whole
thing off"
What do these Jap chickens look
like?' asked Mr.. Lewis.
"Oh. they're big, .broad-shouldered
DEVILS" said Davenport. They look
like they took in washing.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18

little soup, potato i'm some form
DO you ever crave sweets inter
rupted A young woman, who stood up
10 put the question.
"WEll-eT-ah-" smiled and hestat-
ed Mr.. Fletcher The audience rOared.
I understand perfectly well what the
young woman wants 10 know. and I
wish TO reply in the affirmative" he
continued when he could. My princi-
pal purveyor is a well-knOwn maker
Of chocolates"
Mr.. Fletcher said there were 200, 900
families in the country saving at least
81 a day through the adoption OF
''Fletcherism." The financial benefit
was he said, the least important con-
sideratiOn.
He stated that in his opinion the ef-
ficiency Of most persons could be in
creased 20 per cent by careful eating.
Christian Science and the Rev. DR.. Eel
lows of Chicago We're both. he said all
right as far as they went. but they
were not sufficiently expansive.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
Boston Herald.)

There are various opinions as to
what constitutes drunkenness or in
toxication. using the word to express
the effect on man produced by spirit
uous liquors and not by drugs or OPT
ates. The Rhode Island law on the
subject reads: "A person is drunk I'm
a legal sense when he is so far under
the influence of intoxicating liquor
that his passions are ,yisibly excited or
his judgment impaired by the LIQUOR.
But if a man is taken before a JUS
tice on the charge of drunkenness ana
pleads not guilty" evidence must be
adduced to prove that he was drunk
law in regard to proof is as follows:
The simplest and most satisfactory
evidence of drunkenness will be the
statement of witnesses as to the ap-
pearance, condition, manner language
or acts of the accused. or other attend
ant circumstances from which a state
of intoxication may be presumed.
One man may be as drunk as a lord
and walk steadily, while another may
stagger all over the walk and yet have
a perfectly clear head and a definite
destination. They are both under the
influence of liquor" but no policeman
will arrest a man who is going along
without outward evidence shat he is
anything but sober.
But, granting that man is drunk
physically, is he also drunk mentally?
asks the Providence Journal Is his
judgment impaired? As a rule it is,
yet there have been and are cases
where a man may be unsteady on his
legs. as has been said. and notwith-
standing can talk nationally on any
ordinary topic and conduct himself as
a sober member of society.
Then is he drunk morally? The ac-
count reads: His passions are visibly
excited" But that is not the effect in
all cases where one has drunk too
much according TO the statement Of
liquor dispensers in the city. He may
grow sleepy, or as il was put, "dOpy,'
and slumber quietly. a state which can
hardly be called immoral. And he
may expand and grow genial, be
prompted to unwOnted acts of kindi-
ness and generosity which make for
the greatest good of the greatest
number"
That is one definition of drunken
ness by layman. the loss Of a mans
sense of knowledge. and to a man in
that condition the barkeeper said he
would refuse to sell any drink. The
proprietor of a rum shop of a differ
ent type refused TO give an explicit
opinion as to when a man was drunk.
He told by way of illustration the an
Gent story of the man who had alb
sOrbed large quantity of liquor and
on his way home wandered off the
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18

he neglected no professional duties, and
at the end Of which he was cured Of his
trouble. ! know another man who had
BTight's disease. and at the end Of
fast continuing for thirty-seven days
the disease was gone. The man was
entirely we'll A wart that had embar-
raised him was also gone
What suggestions can you offer for
daily meals?" asked another woman
Il have answered that two or three
times in my lecture Mr.. Fletcher re-
piled calmly IF l do not know what
| will want to eat at 6;15 tonight, or
that | shall want anything, how can l
tell you what you will want tomorrow?
I eat when / feel like it-tWice day
once a Week-as the case may be. eat
moderately. but of the particular thing
I want. If l feel like mince pie first
and soup last. why. / eat my mince pie
first-that is all
Il am nearing 50. Eighteen years ago
| was denied life insurance. I had sew
eraI so-called chronic diseases. I was
weak. discOurag ed. unhappy. Life had
few charms for me then. I suppose the
chief reason I didn't commit suicide
was fear that / might miss something
agreeable on this side of the river
Styx. I am growing steadily younger,
and have been for many years now. II
is because of my eating. l nurse my
appetite up to a high pitch of keenness.
Meat is distateful, even repulsive, to
me. Perhaps l might as well tell you
something of my habits at the Wal
dorf-"
"Oh, do" calculated a woman in the
back of the house. Everybody
laughed, including the speaker, who
proceeded
IT. 40 most IF my eating hatueaY1 II
a. m and in the evening. Usually a
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
AUTOMOBILE scoRcHINe.

The police have at last become
aroused TO the necessity of putting an
end TO the reckless driving of automo-
biles along the streets of Salt Lake
City. The announcement is made that.
as a result of Investigations conducted
Saturday night, some of the "scorch-
ers' are to be taken before the police
judge this morning. It would hardly be
fair TO suggest punishment before
proof of guilt is disclosed. but If the de-
PENDANTS are shown 10 be guilty they
should be severely dealt with.
The Herald has on many occasions in
the past called the attention Of the po-
lice and public TO the absolute disre-
gard for the rights and safety OF others
shown by some automobile drivers. We
have stated. and we still believe, that
the majority OF owners of machines are
not TO blame. Generally speaking, they
are careful and considerate. They do
not exceed the speed limit. and they are
willing TO go as far as any one in Sc
curing the enforcement of the law
Others. however. have been almost
criminal in their disregard of the rights
and lives OF the public
Some Of the harm is being done by
hired Chauffeurs who. when their en-
ployers are not in the cars, drive them
along so rapidly as TO endanger life and
property We are inclined to believe
that We would not seriously oppose au-
tomObile scorching if the only individ-
uals endangered were the occupants Of
the fast flying cars. The reverse Of
that proposition. however. is true. In
cities il is nearly always the innocent
pedestrian. bicyciist or driver of
horse-drawn vehicle that is injured or
killed. The scCrcher escapes without
bodily harm.
No rational Salt Laker has in mind
crusade against the automobile as
pleasure or business vehicle The mo-
tor car has become a fixture in our
social and business life. Five years
ago there were in this city hardly
half-dozen automobiles. Today the
number is not far from 500, and con-
thuous increase is noted. Five years
ago there was little need for rigid
speed regulations. Today there is ur-
gent need for them and for their en-
fOrcement
Due allowance must be made for the
ease with which an automobile is con-
trolled. one going al the rate of thirty
miles an hour can be brought to a full
stop very quickly. And an automobile
travelling at the rate OF twenty miles an
hour. if II be in charge of a reasonably
skilled and entirely sober chauffeur, is
not so grave a menace to the public
safety as horse that is moving along
AT a speed OF ten or twelve miles an
hour. This, however. is by the way
And, incidentally, the pedestrian has no
assurance that the driver of the car
sweeping down upon him is both sober
and skilled.
What the public wants stopped, and
what the police must stop, is the prac-
tice Of speeding over the asphalt pave
raents at thirty, forty, even fifty and
sixty miles an hour. The rights Of the
people must be respected, even il the
process involves the falling of a few
reckless drivers
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
ONE WAY OUT OF 1T.
lEverybOdY's AIagazine. }

Will" said a newly married frieH6
to VIII Maupin. the Nebraska poet.
I'm in a quandary as 10 just what I
should call my wife's mother. / don't
ike to call her 'mother-in-law' on ac-
count Of all the comic paper jokes on
that name, and somehow there's a GER
tain sacredness about the word
mother that makes me hesitate to ap-
ply it to any but my own"
We'll" said Maupin. Il can only tell
you Of my own experience. The first
year we were married addressed my
wife's mother as say after that we
called her grandma
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
THE APPROPRIATE FLOWER.
CBurlington HaWkeyeD

THE late Senator Proctor" said a
Burlington man. hated these interna-
tiOnal marriages where titled for
eigners marries an American girl with
four or five millions.
L heard him say once in Burlington
that he'd believe in the sincerity or
such marriages when he saw an Eng
lish duke or an Italian prince marrying
an American girl who was poor.
Then he smiled grimly and ended:
IF | were a millionaire and were
giving my daughter and dozen mil
lions TO some young count or earl I'd
have the church decorated only with
marigolds."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
BIG JOB FOR SMALL BOY.

f-NtW I UIk fTtSS.J
James Mcneil Whistler and a friend
strolling through a London suburb met
a small boy. Whistler asked him his
age.
Seven" the boy replied.
oh, you must be more than 2" said
Whistler. dOubtingly.
Seven" insisted the boy, rather
pleased at being taken for older.
Turning TO his friend. Whistler said
DO you think il possible that he really
could have gotten as dirty as that in
only seven years?"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-18
MAY Make cOnaress PeevIsh.
New York Herald. }

Bob Evans says we need more battle
ships and less statesmen. and now every
one is wondering if congress will meet
the admiral with brass band when he
reaches Washington.