Waterbury evening Democrat., 1908-01-18
MIR DOOLEY ON
 LETTER WRITERS
He Gives His Friend (. A. (.
 a Poke in the Ribs.

"Hinnessy,' said MT Dooley, "did you ever know profeshnul lettkel writer?"
 T don't need a typewriter in my business" said MT Hennessy
 T don't maae women,' said MI Dooley 'I mane men that haya nothin' to do but offer advice and insolence by names " what Hogan calls epistolary correspondence in the public prints"
 T know three prize fighters said Mr Hinnessy.
 Prize fighters" snapped MT Doo- ley, "ar-re men iv sense, and always have something interesting to say. don't mane them ayther. The kind l have in mind ar-re what Iyo- gan calls literary bores. They'se a man up on Prospect street, Bulldog, [ think his name is, or something like that. There's a fellow who thinks he can give us all grammar He can write on anything f'm & new station to the emollimints of the prosecuting agents office. He can | so.
 Vance We had a question here whether dogs oughI to be muzzlod or not, an he tux the dogs side.
 MT Edither,' he wrote, if you ask me, he wrote (no one, by tho way. had asked him at alb, what me opinion is on this matther, I say it dlppinds on the dog. Now, if a nice lady wid no young ones to care f'r, has a purity poodle that's mad an hungry, 1 don't see what right we have here in free America to keep the same i'm nippin' a good hunk out iv grimy kid in the tiniment districts. They'se too many kids anyhow in some neighborhocds, though not, iv coorse, in mine, an not dogs enough c'r the lodies to kiss an fondle. Therefore I say let the dogs run loose; if they bite Ire they will get indigestion, he says.
 "Shure," said Mr Hirnessy. the ain't got wan bit iv since, to talk like that"
 70, faith, he's got since enough Tn his way" argued Mir Dooley "Gp where he lives that's good since, an' more than since, it's althruism, as Hogan says. It's putin yerself in the place iv yer brother.
 We'll anether time he vas writ ln about the name fir the new hotel. Call it McGinniss or some ether Irish name,' sez he, 'an' put it on the bum.'
 That's bigothry," chimed ir Mr Hinnessy.
 "'Tis not" said Mir Dooley. lis wit if you say it to the right crowd. Now, if you made tho like remark about him, 'twould be vul- garity, or maybe threason. But if you had good income an a thick. well groomed body, if you lived in a big house that had the kitchen in the cellar an Race Soothing syrup fr a guardeen spirit, an if you wore a flower in yer buttonhole, you find people pattin' you on the back when you talked like that an sayin'. Good boy, Martin; more power to yer tongue. But you see you ain't got any iv these things an whin you call men liars an' rogues they punch yer jaw. 'Tis different wid Bull dog.
 The divvle has been eatin' out his guts fir long time now to make him prove that the mayor is a rogue. Thoms, he says, ain't square an honisht because he couldn't get the New Haven road to give away it's eye teeth, an because he wants pack pay.
 You see, Hinnessy, the case is like yer own. You have an inimy be the name iv Carrig gan. Don't swear now, me laddy5uck. I know how you feel. Whin ye were both young min Carrigan gave you the dickens iv a beltin'. Very well. Mabe you needed it an maybe again you didn't. But anyway you gor it, an now every time you see Carrigan you say. There goes the d-dest thief unhanged. I'd like to punch his face but I can't Now Carrigan is jesht as honesht as t':e day is long, but you'll keep callin' him < rascal an robber to the ind.
 Now, 'tis about the same wid tha republican party an Billy Thoms. He licked the dayiights cut iv the "hSAS hAe " NcfU INfOW- in mud enough on him to fill Bank street up to the top iv tho Jones an Morgan building. They'se foxy lad wid an office down near the rall- road an anether office in Washing ton who knows this to his hearts contint, but has since enough to keen his mouth shet tight. though he began his career by throwin' mud i'm the ind iv his zen. But even he. l suppose, can't muzzle a profeshnul backbiter an sorehead."
 Do you think The mayer ought to have that back pay?" asked Mir Hin- messy.
 T don't know" said Mir Dooley. Let the law des;ic. But if had beer prosecuting agent I'd pretind I was deef and dumb. I'd be afraid people'd look up my record if were an eternal scold"