davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1908-02-21
The Cure.

Professor w. E. Grange, author Of
the History of Primitive Love-" al
luded in the course of a lecture in Bos-
ton to the modern cynical view of love
that prevails: Il remember once hear
ing a bricklayer and a plumber discuss
love. L hold said the bricklayer, that
if you are terribly in love the way to
cure yourself is to u away The
plumber shook his head and sneered.
That will cure you he said, provided
you u away with the girl"
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1908-02-21

A weekly newspaper that publishes
twenty-one columns of good, reliable
news each week is rare in these days of
cheap weeklies, intended only to sell
some article that the publisher is later
ested in. Credit is due The Weekly
Inter Ocean for keeping its columns
filled with fresh and up-to-date news.
Give it a trial by subscribing through
THE MCCooK TRIBUNE.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1908-02-21
Chemical.

In Prestbury churchyard, les Mac
.clesfeld, England, may be found the
following epitaph on a chemist:
Willie's dead-we're full of woe
Well never see him more.
He thought to drink of HaO.
Twas HsSOt.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1908-02-21
A Guaranteed Cure For Piles.

Itching, Blind, Bleeding, or Protrud-
ing Piles. Druggists refund money if
PAzo OINTMENT fails to cure any case,
no matter of howlong standing, in 6to14
days. First application gives ease and
rest. SOC. If your druggist hasn't it
send SOC in stamps and it will be for
warded postpaid by Paris Medicine Co.,
St. Louis, Mo.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1908-02-21
Short and Out.

"Where is Mr.. Middleman?" asked
the caller at the brokers' Office.
Il think he's out ON n little matter
of wheat" replied the bright clerk.
"Out long?"
Certainly not. If he had been long,
he would have been in. It's because
ne was short that he's out.'-Philadel-
phia Press.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1908-02-21
A Vicious Die.

Patty-I always think of all the un-
kind things l have said during the day
before 1 fail asleep at night. Patricia
Dear me! Do you stay awake as
long as that?
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1908-02-21
Heavv Work.

Mr.. Younghub-Did you bake this
bread, darling? Mrs. Younghub-Yes,
dear. Mr.. Younghub-Well, please
don't do anything like that again. You
are not strong enough for such heavy
work.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1908-02-21
INDIANOLA.

Friday night, for a visit with
friends.
A fine snow fell here, Thursday,
to the depth of about three inches.
1t was preceded by a light rain.
Prospects are good, at this
time, for a crop the coming year.
Jarret Curry visited friends in
Indianola, Thursday and Friday
of last week. He was on his
way to Yuma, Colorado, where
his father has bought a farm on
which they will make their home.
Miss Hazel Phillips returned,
Saturday morning, from her trip
to California.
Floyd Welborn stopped off be-
tween trains, Sunday evening, for
a short visit with home folks, en-
route from New York City to his
home in Denver.
Mr.. and Mrs. Charles Thomp-
son are the proud parents of a
baby, born last week,
Mr.. and Mrs. Lock, who have
been visiting his brother and wife
west of town, left for their home
in Idaho, Tuesday morning.
Three children of Frank Hess,
living two miles north of town, are
very sick with typhoid fever.
Charles Skalla of McCook was
an Indianola, visitor Wednesday.
Mrs. McFann came down,
Wednesday morning, for a short
visit with her daughter, Miss
Blanche McFann of the central
office.
John Cavenough of Grand Is
land was a recent visitor in the
Tim Haley home. Mr.. Caven-
ough is an uncle of Mrs. Haley.
Miss Lena Hill is home from
Denver on a visit with her par
ents.
Editor and Mrs. By6eld we're
McCook visitots, Sunday.
The council held a meeting on
on Tuesday evening and appoint
ed Frank Teel as marshal.
Alice Taunley and Charlie
Hendershott gave a party to their
young friends on Tuesday even
at the home of the former,
the occasion being the celebration
of their birthdays. They received
very pretty tokens of love
from their friends.
The mercury fell to zero, We'd
nesday morning.
Mr.. and Mrs. Tim Haley are
expecting the father and brother
of the latter on a visit, this week.
Their home is in South Dakota.
Two young men who were con-
verted during the late revival
were baptised by INNER
sion in the Christian church; last
Sunday afternoon.
On Tuesday, a young woman
working at the Cosgro hotel be-
came tired of life, and in her
efforts to "shuf1e off this mortal
coil" took a dose of arsenic, but
the promp work Of a doctor and
pump saved her life.
Domestic trouble was said to
have been the cause.
The city council has ordered a
meeting of the citizens to be held
on Friday evening, to decide
about the proposition for lighting
the streets with the kind of light
on trial.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1908-02-21

Many a fellow has his nose to the
grindstone without sharpening his
wits.-Philadelphia Record.
The McCook tribune. (McCook, Neb.) 1886-1936, 1908-02-21

cases had never been vacCinated
the other being vaccinated over
ten years ago. Looks like vacci-
nation is a preventative. Over
two hundred persons have been
vaccinated with pure a~ntiseptic
bovine virus and no bad result in
any of them; one out of twenty
eight died with smallpox; and yet
some people will say, Vaccine is
more dangerous than smallpox
and is no prevention" The fact
is quarantine stops the spread of
smallpox, and vaccination pre-
vents smallpox in ninety-eight
percent of the cases. The village
board has been very faithful to
quarantine all cases. There is
not now, nor has there been any
more danger of exposure to the
disease than in other towns.
Nearly all cases have recovered
and the quarantine been raised.
Business IS improving and BARLEY
will soon be busy again, improv-
ing everything that makes for the
good.
Percy Catlett has his nice resi-
dence almost completed and will
move soon.
The family of Mr.. Durbin,
manager of the Farmers store,
have arrived and will locate per-
manently as soon as they can buy
or rent a suitable dwelling.
Politics holds a place for thought
and discussion in BARLEY and
nearly all are lined up for Roose-
welt and Bryan for the next presi-
dental candidates.
The result of the Gossard trial
is a disappointment to the people
here.
We have a new firm here now,
Clark & Matteson, real estate
dealers. They have offices in
Colorado and several points in
Nebraska and with a large cor
respondence will no doubt bring
valuable buyers from the east to
locate here Oh farms.
The fall grain in this vicinity
looks well; much better than last
year at this time.
The low price of hogs and high
price of corr is against US by
forcing small immature hogs on
the market.
School has been opened again;
the church bells will ring next
Sunday. Sunday school and
church will be opened up and we
can pray in public as we'll as in
secret. The1e'sa glad time COM
ing soon, and We'll all enjoy it
when the clouds roll by. Small
pox all gone, quarantine over,
and people free to go and come
in pursuit of business and pleas
ure as heretofore in our nice
little village.
Lillian and Shirley Durbin
visited with Mrs. Marion Ritten-
berg in Indianola, Monday.
The first play in the new opera
house is expected to be held,
Thursday evening, March 18th.
E. E. Smith returned, Tues
day, from Chicago where he sold
on the market there five cars of
cattle.
Paul Reimer has been released
from quarantine and is at his post
again at Smiths grain Office.
A Guaranteed Cure For Piles.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
County Officials and Employees
Driven From the Glen
Yesterday.
PENNY WAS REMEMBERED.
COUNTY CLERK GIVEN A HUGE
BIRTHDAY CAKE AND o. S. COE
RECEIVED THAT WHICH HE HAS
LONG COVETED.

It was merry group Of picnickers
from the court house that the rain
drove from Chautauqua Grove at
Glen Miller park yesterday afternoon.
The naughty weather man interfered
to such an extent the throng proceed
ed to the rooms of the horticultural So
ciety at the court house and spread
its bounteous repast. There was ev-
erything to eat and the 103 hungry
persons ate ravenously. AS usual the
tables groaned beneath the weight be-
fore and those who partook groaned
afterward.
Harry E. Penny, who in official life
is county clerk, but at homo is grand
pa" was presented with a large cake
in commemoration of his birthday
which was yesterday. His age was not
known definitely, so sixty was the
number Of years selected. There was
not room for sixty candles on the
cake so one was selected for e2chdecade
The presentation speech was made by
p. J. Freeman. On cutting the cake the
county clerk carved a large lemon.
Demas Coe. county auditor was an
other favored one. 1t was stated by
/ Prosecutor eJssup that Coc always had
wanted gold watch and it had been
decided to give him one. The watch
Is brass imitation about eight inches
in diameter and attached to it was a
fob studded with brass lacks forming
the initials ID. S. c.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
A BAMBOO LAND.


wide Usefulness of This Wonderful
Plant In China.
A recent traveller in China impressed
with the wide usefulness Of bamboo
thus states some Of the possibilities:
A man can sit in a bamboo house.
under a bamboo roof, on a bamboo
chair, at bamboo table. with his feet
resting on a bamboo footstool, with a
bamboo hat on his head and bamboo
sandals on his feet. He can at the
same time hold in one hand a bamboo
bowl, in the other bamboo chopsticks
and eat bamboo sprouts.
When through with his meal, which
has been cooked over bamboo fire.
the table may be washed with a BAN
boo cloth, and he can fan himself with
a bamboo fan and take a siesta on a
bamboo bed, lying on a bamboo mat,
with his head resting on a bamboo pill
low. His child might be lying in a
bamboo cradle, playing with bam-
boo toy.
On rising he could smoke a bamboo
pipe and, taking a bamboo pen, write
a letter on bamboo paper or carry his
articles in bamboo baskets suspended
from a bamboo pole, with a bamboo
umbrella over his head. He might
then take a walk over a bamboo sus-
pension bridge, drink water out of a
bamboo ladle and scrape himself with
a bamboo sweat scraper handker-
chief. The bamboo ingenuity and per-
sistency have produced (bamboo) joint
results which exhibit the potentialities
and possibilities of the Chinese people.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
WISDOM OF CHILDREN.


Bright Com nenta That Drop From
the Lips of Juveniles.
What could be more simple or more
splendidly direct as a compliment to a
pretty girl than the small boys ad-
miring question, Are your eyes new
ones?" No "grownup" person could
have thought of that "a Illuminating
animal Is one that chews her cubs
there might surely be less thoughtful
definitions. As for definitions. no die
tionary has ever given anything better
than - movable feast-s picnic
There is a delightful note of the night
nursery in the beginning OF a girls
essay on boys, The boy is not an ami
NAL but they can be heard to a con-
siderable distance" equaied perhaps
in its splendid simplicity by the boys
written criticism to the effect that
most girls are very shy and angry"
1t is the directness Of the description
which compels attention in vivid COM
ments such as, Just before il killed
me the tooth came out" and nothing
surely could be more Johnsonian in its
absolute truth than the answer given
to the painstaking schoolmaster try
ing to make the class understand what
might be meant by the subversive
word "antipodes." IF / bored a hole
right through the earth till 1 came out
at the other side where should / be %
"On yer cad. You can't do ASH'-Lon-
don Spectator.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05

Gazing dreamily at the God Bless
Our Home" pastel on the wall, the
boarder with the freckles on his nose
continued, Yes, it really gives me
great pleasure to notice that the butter
is convaleseing!"
The man with the barb wire beard
looked unhappy. and an expression Of
contempt. not unmixed. however, with
curiosity. fitted across the face Of the
landlady.
"Convalescing" she replied. "what
do you mean"
The man with the yellow whiskers
smiled expectantly.
The man with the freckles on bis
nose nerved himself for the ordeal and
replied, Because It grows stronger
every day."
During the excitement that followed
the man with the double chin helped
himself to the last slice Of bread on
the table.-Baltimore American
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
Ornitholoaieel Weddings.

There was poetic appropriateness
in two recent weddings which were
celebrated in London In which Mr..
Bird led Miss Linnet to the altar and
Mr. Wren was linked to Miss Nightin-
gale.
Although II is seldom that one comes
across two OF these "ornithologicaT
weddings in one day. they are by no
means uncommon.
Not long ago a church near Dublin
was the scene of an interesting mar
riage IN which a Mr.. Crowe-was united
to Miss Grove by the Rev. Canon
Peacock. the wedding march being
played by Mr.. Rock. Much more re-
markable, however. was match
which set Edinburgh In a iutter some
years since. The bride was Miss Hen
rietta Peacock. and the bridegroom was
Robin Sparrow. The Rev. Mr.. Daw
performed the marriage ceremony
Philip Hawk officiated as best man
and Miss Lark1ns as principal brides.
maid, while the marriage lines were
extracted by John Crow. session clerk.
at Is worthy Of further remark"
adds a reporter. that the sections
name is Raven. one of the pew openers
Is a Gull. and the assistant sexton In q
Henry Laycock."-London Sur
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05

young y hitney (se was pafeiy thirtecs
at the time) realized at once that D
machine working a number Of similar
saws simultaneously would revolution.
ize the cotton growing industry.
He said nothing to anybody, but set
to work building models and expert
menting. His difficulties were enor-
nous, for he not only had to make his
own wheels, cogs, etc, but he had also
first to forge his own tools and even to
manufacture the paint wherewith to
color his many plans and drawings.
But he succeeded in the end, and.
though the outbreak of war and other
hindrances prevented the invention
from being actually placed upon the
market until many years afterward,
the first complete cotton gin ever con.
structed was built from those very
models and plans and with scarcely a
single alteration.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05

and the city attorney INDUCED in a
tilt as to which knows the more about
Lincoln park, Chicago. The doctor
told the city attorney it is customary
to keep street car lines out of public
parks and the city attorney spoke OF
the way car lines in other cities pro
vide access to the parks. DR.. Johnston
asked about Central park. N. Y. and
Lincoln park. Mr.. Study is not &C
quainted with Central park, but assert
ed Lincoln park is a narrow strip
along the lake shore and the car line
lies adjacent to 1t on one side. The
doctor said it is not narrow strip and
the cars are kept out of it. He told
the attorney he surely has not seen
it lately and the latter informed him
it would not be wise for him to bet
his purse on that as he had seen the
park since the doctor.
New Route Proposed.
Another altogether new line of
tracks, which would provide for street
car accommodations to the north side
of the lake was proposed by c. B.
Hunt, the Main street grocer of meat
inspection ordinance fame. He sug-
gested the tracks be kept off of TWEEN
ty-third street and also North Fifth
street. He proposed North Third
street be used so as to do away with
the Fifth street and Main street hills.
1t was asserted by Paul Ross, the
druggist, who led the forces remon-
strating against Twenty-third street
as a track location. said out Of all the
persons he has talked to he has found
but four, who favor the use of this
street. He favors putting the freight
route on some street. where tracks
now are. He says the reason the OBJ
jections were not made sooner was
because the public did not realize
what the dissertation of the park
would mean. He maintained it is not
too late even now to bring about a
change.
The meeting was attended by a
number of the most prominent bust
ness and professional men of the city.
There was an unanimity of opinion
that mistake has been made in
granting the use of the unimproved
street through the park.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
Distress Signals at Sea.

When ships at sea are in want OF
provisions and starving the signal used
is a pendant with a ball underneath.
Should the signal be reversed. e.,
ball uppermost-it would signify that
the vessel addressed was running into
danger. If ball should be hoisted
superior to large square flag it would
denote that the cargo is on fire or ship
leaking and requires immediate assist
ance. All distant signals" are an
swered by hosting a ball at ship
masthead or masthead Of signal staff
OH shore and are used at all times
when the colors of a ships flag cannot
be distinguished. The above are inter-
national signals.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
Scaveeds.

Aside from their use as food by man
hnd beast and as fertilizer in agricul-
ture, seaweeds have numerous uses in
the arts and sciences. From them are
obtained soda, chlorides. sulphates. sill
icates, iodine, bromine and gelose.
They have ever occupied an important
place in the rude pharmacopoela Of the
untutored savage as well as Of the
higher one Of his more civilized breth-
rem. Certain varieties are used In stuff
ing chairs and beds. They are especial
~ suitable for the latter purpose. as
their aromatic smell is said to drive in
sects away.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
A WehAter Retort.

1t is related of Mr.. Webster that
when he was secretary of state he was
one day reading at a cabinet meeting
a draft of a message he had written
for the president to transmit to con-
gress. As he went on he was constant
~ interrupted by one Of the members
with suggestions until. losing patience.
might as well expect seven hens to lay
one egg as seven men to construct one
MESSAGE"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
compulsory Greek"

To show you hew advisable it 10 that
great attention should be given to the
study of Greek l wanted to present
"Oedipus Rex" on my London stage. I
went to the lord chamberlain to ask his
permission. NO" he replied, certain
ly not" But" 1 answered, they do
it at Oxford" Yes" said he. but
they do it in Greek and nobody under
stands it. Play 1T In Greek and will
give you my permission" That was
compulsory Greek with a vengeance
Beerbohm Tree.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
Fish Scale ,Jeyyelry.

The scales of the sea drum are ex-
tensively used in the manufacture of
the sprays Of flowers and other articles
of fancy work which are sold at sea-
side resorts under the name of fish
scale jewelry." They are large and
silvery and so hard that it is neces-
sary to remove them from the fish
with an axe or hatcht. The scales of
sheepshead. tarpon, channel bass, etc,
are also used for this purpose at times.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
A Ghost story.

A London daily tells a short modern
ghost story. A man was travelling on
a northbound train out of London. OPP
posite him was a silent stranger. his
only companion. Between London and
Derby no word passed. Then, as the
train drew out Of Derby. he said pleas
antly, Good line. this. sir. ehf'' The
stranger replied, II think it's a beastly
bad line. / was killed on it two years
ago"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
Sensible.

She-I suppose you would have me
believe l am the first woman you ever
loved? He-Not at all. I've loved
scores of women. but you are the last
one l have fallen in love with. She
Very we'll, then I'll say Yes" AS long
as l am the last one you have loved
We'll get along all right.-Boston Tran
script.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
Method In Her Decision.

Higgins-NIy wife says if 1 should
die she would remain a widow un-
til death. OF course she might change
her mind, but 1t is sort Of consoling
just the same. Jinks-Evldently your
wife thinks there is no other man in
the world like you. Higgins-On the
contrary, she's afraid there is and that
she'd get him.-Boston Transcript.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
Hitting the judge.

Justice-You say that you did not
know you were violating the law. All
but, my dear sir. ignorance Of the law
IS no excuse to any man. Prisoner
That's rather rough on both Of US amt
it, your honor? Clerk-Order in the
COURT
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
Business Methods,

MAY 1 ask il am in the market for
q bid for your afectionsT asked the
youth who did everything in a bust
nesslike way.
You must go to par before l can
sake any stock in your Offer" answered
the dutiful brokers' daughter.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
A Grand Canyon Sunrise.

A sunrise in the Grand canyon lasts
as long as you please. Each hour is a
sunrise for some cavern deeper than
the last. and, in fact, there are many
where 1t has yet to rise for the first
time since the canyon was made by
those ages of running water.-Scrib-
parsS
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
THE COTTON Gin.

How Ell whitney, It's In~easor, Got
His Great Idea.
Eli Whitney. the inventor Of the cot
ton gin, got the germ of hts great idea
from seeing through the interstices of
a hut an old negro work a hand saw
among the freshly picked cotton stored
within.
The teeth of the saw tore the lint
from the. seed easilJ and ouickly. and
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
ForgfvfnE.

Constance was three. Her mother,
having forgotten to do something for
her which she had promised. said: "Oh,
darling, forgot 1t, Wasn't il naughty
Of meY' Constance replied consolingly.
"Oh. no. mother, dear: not naughty.
only stupid"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
An Exciting Moment.

"Above ALL" said the throat special
ist, 1.-The lady must talk as little as
possible"
Doctor" eagerly asked Mrs. Grey
mair's husband, rs there any hope Of
1t becoming Standardization Tit
Bits.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05

Men and women are the hooks and
eyes of society" remarked Miss Smith.
And they are constantly becoming
unfastened," naively put in the divor-
cee-Cincinnati Commercial Tribune.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05

II we hope for what we are not like
~ to possess, we act and think in vain
and make life a greater dream and
shadow than IT really is.-Addison.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05
A Hard One For Hn ma.

Charley (who thinks)-Say, mamma.
II we're made of dust. why don't we
get muddy when we drink?-Puck
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05

MARIETTA:
Order Gold Medal Flour II your folks arr
pernickity about their victuals. SALLY ANN.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-08-05

This is positively the most extraor-
binary Dresser bargain we were ever
able to offer. 1t is extra we'll made
and beautifully polished; has extra
large French mirrors and solid cast
brass drawer pulls.