The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-04-16
ADS THAT ARE FULL
OF HUMAN NATURE

human nature is seen in many
guises, but particularly is it's original
ity shown in the unique advertise
ments inserted in newspa pers and
magazines from time to time Amer
lean advertisements especially are to
the point, and are no respecters OF
persons or place.
This advertisement was painted Or
numerous graveyard fences in New
YORK State: Use Jones bottled ale Il
you would keep out of here"
An old New York upholstery firm
used this advertisement for number
of years:
Our parlor furniture is elegant.
Our bedroom furniture is rich.
Our mattresses are downy.
our collins are comfortable"
A Long Island school master once
notified his pupils that vacation was
almost over by inserting this notice in
the papers:
Flushing Institute. Dear Boys
Trouble begins September Is"
This notice. appeared in the want
column OF Baltimore paper sometime
ia Ihc carly seventies.
Ann Hempy desires employment
Can make trousers and scrub floors
clean windows, makes the best of pies
and cakes, and washes dead bodies"
Another amusing advertisement is
this:
"Wanted-A professor to come twice
week to the house of a religious
family in order to reform the pronun-
citation Of parrot"
An eccentric and very wealthy spin
ster inserted this notice in a New
York newspaper:
Medical Man Wanted
"A lady going abroad would give a
medical man $500 a year to look after
favorite Spanish poodle during her
absence"
There have been many queer adver-
tisements published in England since
the custom was first started
A country clergyman. whose parish
was very poor, was very DESTROYS of
procuring hymn books for his congre-
cation, but he could not afford to buy
them. One day he received a letter
from a business firm offering to give
him the desired hymn books if he
would not object to advertisements
being inserted in them. The clergy
man was delighted and thankfully ac-
copied the offer.
Some time after the books arrived.
and he was agreeably surprised to find
that the advertisements had been
omitted from the back of the book.
The following Sunday the hymn books
were distributed among the congrega-
ton. Toward the end of the service,
to the clegyman's horror, the choir
sang Justify:
'Hark, the herald angels sing,
Beechman's Pills are just the thing,
Peace on earth and mercy mild.
Two for man and one for child"
People who have grasping and dis
agreeable landlords will have a fellow
lished this advertisement:
Wanted, Immediately, to enable me
to leave the house which 1 have for
the last five years inhabited in the
same plight and condition in which
found it. 500 live rats, for which
will gladly pay the sum of five pounds
sterling. N. B.-The rats must be full
grown and no cripples."
An Ideal Chaperone
This advertisement was published in
the Morning Herald, 1923, and it is
extremely unlikely that many appli-
cants applied for the situation: a,y
Wanted, for the ensuing London
season campaign, a chaperone who
will undertake the charge of two
young ladies now making their entree
into fashionable life. She must pos
sess a constitution impervious to IA
tigue and heat, and be perfectly indie
pendent Of sleep; al fait at the myS-
teries of whist and casino, and al
ways be ready to undertake a round
game, with supper appetite Of the
most moderate description. Any per-
sonal charms which might interfere
with her acting as a foil to her
charges will be deemed inadmissable,
and she must be totally Invested of
pretensions on her own
account. Address to Louisa, Twopen-
ny Postoffice, Great Mary-le-bow
street. N. B.-No widow need apply"
There are some simple souls who
with the best intentions in the world,
defeat their own ends by publishing
which are, to say the
least, distinctly ambiguous. For in
stance:
Babies taken and finished in ten
minutes by country photographer"
1.-TWO young ladies want washing"
Teeth extracted with great pains"
"a house for a family in good re-
pair"
Buggy blankets for sale cheap"
Babies after taking one bottle of