Emmons County record. [volume] (Williamsport, D.T. [i.e. N.D.]) 1884-current, 1908-10-08

sD-VSs4z - 1903 sx9< Ii ssN 49, 2<zEs-
jsx esxsst~ j. MA Tug eighth ninth u
liz Cd Rfyasaa csssssdzs, This h:cgzn.
s7askfs 10 81 ifk end o. August. sisen
tsssy rad Y, " candid ike eggs, md
ttse Oyssef Trust always co,Dsssd he
supply in cysd s.o,sys. Bot Bone, Ike
every other natIgn. mad q leformks nos
10 often for reasonable profits Ia b1s.-
ness, and wien YUMA Psmpilins came
into p'ywes In :l3 Il. &. he made Octoser
the tenth month and busted tie Oykter
Trust. He was idoEizsd by grateful
popuiace and was only reIinquished u,
private life In his late: days that he
might crafty his desire u hunt kd9
game In Africa.
The presidential race Will reach
Three-quarters Of q mile,
And both the Bills will hit i, up
In good old-fashioned style.
The Platte Will shake his big bfoYans
And put up dust and dirt.
Thcgiant Taft Will grunt aud weat
And rip his undefshirt.
The pIaudits Of the multitude
VIII rtse in mighty peals,
Andthe watchiul Teddy Bear will nip
At William Howard's i,eely.
The pink tnud-xuards " Sunny Jim
will catch the frost descending, and turn
q fine autumnal red, With the burning
sumac blending; the frost will thin out
Mr.. kcrn's elaborate chin thlcket, and
each Of these hair-hearing tails will 20
nome on his ticket.
The frost will paint the Sassaffas .
deep and glowing red, and the farm
hand Will resume his h0wli0r blankets
on his bed. The plantexuded phos-
phorus will gossamer the air; the sti II
rheumatic will put ON his wind proof
underwear. The southwark moving
ducks will quack upon the rceded lakes,
and man will line himself inside with
buttcred flannel cakes.
The women will parade beneath the
big sky-scraper hats, and guy lines
strung to steady them will anchor In
Their rats; and, every time the wind
blows brisk. with many screams and
squcals, they'll all turn turtle and will
IAN the azure with their heels.
The camper vii unto the woods
To live the life OF Crusoc,
And the quail will balance on arail
And whistle Ike Caruso.
The poor ilay-fcvcr patient will re.
turn from Ills retreat, and, every time
his nose goes off and honks upon the
stect, we'll scramble for the nearest
curb ~ fast Us we can dart, believing
that his lusty sneczc Is some skidoodle
cart.
The candidate will press his suit and
Tell Ills little Jokes, while he Is hand.
INK out cigars they name for famous
lolkS; and, notwithstanding al this
harm this sort Of smoke has done us.
III all waltz UP again and try his
deadly Mrs. Guinness.
After the 2Gth October VIII be un-
der the influence OF the sign Scorp,o.
the crustacean. Persons born In Scor.
plo are Holsters mostly actors and
ball.players. They have remarkable
foresight. Among other things. they
can tell when the hired girl Is going Ia
quit, and so give her notice first.
The armorcd football players VIII ca
wort In padded pants, and butt TO beat
. billy-Goat, while frenxied thousands
dance. He'll cut the fec with glass hid
In his Padercwski mop, and when they
pile on sacks he'll do q war.dance on
the top. The college men will all 70,
up and yell ike Kingdom come; tho
college girls will swallow six or seven
RolS Of gum; the autumn sun will bs
obscured by colors. horns and hats
the catapulting lend" will cave TIL
other fellow 'sslats; the giant "centers'
will collide like two excursion trains
the guards ?" will paw the earth
and scramble one anothcr's brains
and when the ambulance drives W
With great vocifcratiOn the howlin
mob will give three cheers for highe
education.
Tho first if0st.ripencd hickory nut
viii rattle on the ground,
Aud local option will put ON
The "blOwer1" oil around.