Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-07-17
THE ROMANCE OF A
DELICATEsSEN SHOP.

make old Epieurus look like quick
luncher and a starveling. To sing of
the glories of Johns shop would be to
swoon from exhaustion; wherefore let
us close our eyes to the shelves and the
counters and look at John instead. Very
well then, here is John: Feet like hams,
legs and arms like wienerwursts, fingers
like sausages, knuckles like pigs trot-
tiers, neck like round of butter, face
like a cheese. eyes like fish and an
oily, oily voice.
If John were not a delicatessen man
from necessity he would be one from
choice, for he dearly loves the things
he sells, contemplating them with such
warmth of regard that they have be-
come a part of himself, as has already
been indicated unto you. When a Gus
toner wishes to taste bit of Rogue
fort OF fnnan haddie, or chow-chow,
say, before purchasing, john cuts off a
bit first and eats it himself quite greed
lily, so that the customer always tastes
his or her bit to the accompaniment of
the smacking of Johns i;ps, and as
John weighs his customers purchases
he is always moaning "Um m m mi ]"
TO himself in torment and a rhapsody
of delicatessen bliss.
Yet John is human, even as kings and
princes are said to be, and sometimes
when the hour is growing dusk, too late
for a bit of cooked ham, too early for
a bottle of olives and pound of tripe,
John leans back against his shelves,
pats pigs head or two and reflects
on life.
women are queer said John. in
that rich, deep, oily voice of his, just
suggestive of a wheeze, voice which
could sell ported cheese for real Ca
membert if John were evil-minded,
Queer as queer. Never know how to
take them. Never know what they'll
do next. Why? Because they don't
know themselves. That's why, and
that's wherefore"
He settled himself back so comfort
ably that he looked like part of the
stock.
when | first started here, fifteen
years ago, one of the very first custom
ers ] had was young woman who took
my eye. Took it bad, she did, and Pm
not ashamed to say so, either. Why
should | be? Half pound of crab
meat she wanted and / gave her nearly
a pound. Nearly pound / gave her.
Nearly a pound"
He looked reflectively back into the
past, and yet with pleased expression,
like a man who is thinking of good
thing he once said in the right way
and at the right time. He patted the
pigs cheeks.
"Of course" said John, "she came
back Trust her. My artfulness in the
crab meat. Wanted a pound of coffee,
Java and Mocha she got, Wanted 5
cents worth of salad dressing. l filed
butter boat for her-filled it for a
nickel Wanted few gherkins. Nearly
a quart / gave her, crisp ones, big as
cucumbers. Umm-ml"
|. He refreshed himself with a gherkin
forthwith and when he spoke next he
spoke with a handicap, as one sees
through smoked glass, darkly
''One word led to another said John.
eve were both young; she was hand.
some girl and well, / was foolish.
That's what | was, foolish. Got to
thinking how nice she'd look behind the
counter, serving a customer with a
pound of frankfurters and bottle of
German mustard, or some easy little
order like that Once" said John, Il
remember / was eating picked onion
and she made to take it away from
me. 1t was dusk, late in the day, like
it is now, and / was leaning over the
counter on one side, and she was on
the other. You know the way those
things happen. Everybody knows. She
said she wanted bite of that picked
onion. She took it, too, and of
| course'-
He patted the pigs fat cheek again,
lost in reminiseenee.
"We were as good as engaged when
all at once she got queer Queer as
lqueer. They all do, They're all alike.
Said | thought more of the sausages
than / did of her! Said she didn't like
the way | patted the Stilton with the
knife before | cut It'll Said she didn't
like the way l looked at the bloaters -
John looked around him fiercely in
the dusk, unconsciously picking up a
| knife as though ready to defend his
loves to the death; but seeing no foe
his feroeity slowly fell away, so that
whereas he had brandished the knife at
one end of the gamut of his emotion, he
patted the picked pigs head with the
| flat of it at the other until Mr.. Piggy's
features, resting comfortably on a
white platter and enwreathed with
watercress, seemed to soften and soften
until one almost expected to hear a
grunt of piggy satisfaction and con-
tent.
1T came to this" said John You
know what I've Just told you about
how we bit the picked onion together.
Well, after that it had got to be quite
a joke, Where anybody else would
say Let's have kiss l used to say.
Let's have a picked onion and so we
would, But when this little unpleas-
antness arose about the sausage and
the Stilton and the bloaters, there was
no more pickled-onioning Never says
she to me; never as long as you pat
the Stilton with our knife the way
you do before you cut it--never will /
have another picked onion in this
shopp Now l wasn't going to let any
woman take the upper hand of me like
that. You wouldn't. Nobody would.
So up and pats the Stilton. Out she
stamps directly, her little nose up in