The Washington times., 1908-11-24
Our Sporting Editor Was
Not at PitSide at Chicken
Fight.
VARIOUS REASONS
WHY THIS is so
Was Not in City, and Never Sits
at Pitside, But by
Window.
By THOMAS S. RICE.

We ind in our desk a letter from Pro
Bono PublicO, whom we imagine in this
case to be a sort of male suffragette-
in which he accuses US OF being among
The prominent figures at the pltside at a
cock fight recently held near Washing
ton. Having expressed his amusement
that such lofty character as Ourself
should be a party to such a brutal exhi-
bltion, his side whlskers-we presum he
wears them-bristle as he demands 10
know why one OF our exalted position
whose duty it is to instruct the public
chow to bet0 should sit there without
trying TO stop the degrading spectacle"
This stinging rebuke fills us with great
grief-that the date was not postponed
because we were not in the city at the
time, and are always sorry to overlook
anything that may furnish an evenings
diversion in such quiet town.
Leading Anti Until -!
In reply we would say we are one or
the leading opponents of cock lighting
in this burg OF antls-untu the feathers
begin TO fly. when a stern sense of duty
and need for the salary compels us to
attend. Then We lose our sang froid,
as Il were, and become worked up TO
the point Of wagering a dollar, If it is
not too far from pay day
We did not try 10 stop the rooster
duels because We were not there, but
had we been among those present We
should not have tried to stop them
anyhow. We We're once. In our profess
sional capacity, with a friend in the out
skirts of another city who attempted 10
interrupt a cock fight-because he
thought his bird was getting a raw
II AaaaA EaqF
an apothecary about two miles from
the battle-ground. but when our friend
had the plaster casts taken of him the
doctors AT the hospital called in the re-
porters 10 prove it was actually true a
man could be broken in so many places
and yet live. SO much for why we did
not say nay when the conflict Of chanti-
cleers was announced.
Nev.,g Prominent.
Concerning our being among the
prominent figures at the pitside, We
Wish to say a shorter and uglier
word without any prelimlHaries would
not convey the slightest idea of the
force with which We deny the allega-
ton and resent the imputation. Ever
since our misguided companion made
the iU-starred EFFORT to interfere tenn
poraTily, at least, for the sake OF an
unfortunate rooster. we have never sat
by the pitside. We find from various
casual experiences that I'm a real rough
house men generally shoot high and
throw low and the gun play is usually
delayed until a nimble non-combatant
can begin to fill an imperative engage
ment elsewhere.
Not at the Pitside.
We were IN the bottom row, at the
DitSidc on that other OrcasfOu-bIIt IN
resume: Had We been at the Washing
ten fights we would have been found
cOzily ensconced on the highest seat by
the open window. Had there been no
window, we should probably have been
looking through the door. in an Unob-
trusive sort OF manner. and so not a
prominent figure. Experience has
taught US that a draft on the back OF
a neck. giving rise TO cold enough
TO freight a cargo of mutton from Mel
bourne 10 Liverpool, can be cured by
the old home remedy dispensed by
George Williams or Gene Ricketts, at Is
cents per thrOw-tWO for a quarter
and that a sprained ankle caused by
dropping suddenly a reasonable dis
tance TO the ground does not lead to
hospital treatment, while personal OBJ
seTvatiOn has demonstrated TO US con-
clusively that the advice OF the Count
10 Charles O'Malley: "A wine bottle
aimed low is capable OF great execu-
ton" was defective only in that he did
not say beer" instead OF wine" 10
drive home his adm0nitiOn
With these few words OF righteous
and indignant denial we hope Pro Bono
Publtco viii go back to helping his
wife put up the preserves. we have
no more time to waste on him, for we
must 90 around to see who won the
main.