davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29
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~@N ERB RUFPA ~

It iss nodt tremendously dot pup
iish prifate corryspondenses. but
ttnk dis will do. es am bitzy: !.
M1sder Looie Linkenfusser, KalamAx-
zoo, Micheonsigan.
Dear Brudderund1aw Looie:-Hafing
nodings else to did, Will wroten you q
few spassums. Hating noding else to
say. Will klose, Remaining yours
trooly. HANS ZUPP.
p. 8. Looie, I forgot to mention dot
I hat chused came from der koodle-
TEST. comonly call dog show, at
der Oddytearium. No, I did nod ee-
cape. Dey ditndt enter me, aldough
dey tried to. Ven comes in. yet, q
guy says to me, "vot ISIS der number
on your collarf"
"Flfdeen-und-a-hallu sayss. '-but
vot tss i'd to your"
oh, excoos me- sayss der stiff, Ids
light ISIS SO poor NAKED . mistook-
Now I see vot i'd ISIS vich cameo
Haffaseat'
Dis. Loois, is der fairsd act In der
meantime, der dogs,-dey hat dogs ad
a dog-show, vas barking. Der bark VI
a dog ISIS vorser den der bite. uf he
bites a wooden leg Der bark on Q dog
ISIS nod like der bark on q tree. Id les
much thicker und more uf i'd. Also.
dog may shed q lot ut bark. und sdfll
dere ISIS more bark inside uf him.
Dere Is sefferal kinds ut dogs. F'etrsd,
der iss der Sweet sing" critter vich
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29
a PUzzLE;R.

ne struggled down the slippery street
ne nao hard work to keep his feet
ne struck very icy spot
ne looked for help. He found II not
us neels went up and he went down
Inc shock 1t simply Jared the town
And everybody laughed
she started to take I'D the fish
I nat she mad fried; reached for the dish
we We're all standing idly round.
w aIcn1ng the fish, so deftly hroWnedl-
she raised the dish but it was hoff
II IeH and smashed upon the spot
And everybody laughed
ne started down the subway stairs
" len something caught him unawares
He ctuopeo MS toe, or caught his heel
~ supped UP on an orange peel
ne turned summersault, and thump!
ne landed with an awful bump
And everybody laughed!
I.he bald man suffered with a f1v.
Inc umpire got biffed in the eve:
Ine lady left the open car,
Lne wrong way to-Ta-ra-ra-rahf
Inc Judge went by with stately tread
"A snoW-sifde sQuashed upon his head
And everybody laughed
NOW, please, win some one tell mo vhv
We laugh at times as If we'd die
w nen people suffer pain and grief?
" ny should laugh give us relief?
IN snort, when everything's awry
VIII some one kindly tell me why
Should everybody laugh ?
-Somerv1lle Journal
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

OF Apparent concern. Orders are to
ciose the gate on signal
I've gone through lots of times.
sne reminded him. They don't start
untn the passengers are all on Often
I've Just made it. You used to be
obhging. Now I shall have to wait
Tor the 1858; more than an hour. ]
snail report you to the office"
Duty, murmured Gibson, trying
20 Iook properly regretful, for he saw
Metcar passing through the swing
doors Of the waiting room.
snail report you just the same, -
declared the little girl, as she turned
calf.
Lost your train7" cried Metcalr.
roao Is disgrace. There Is not an
other train. that stops at your station,
for over an houri"
Il am not in the habit of discussin z
my fnconveniences with strangers, .
declared the little girl, with a toss OF
her head as she moved away
Metcalf followed and as ellison
moved over to the other gate where
the express was made up, he smiled in
satisfaction. For had he not heard
Metcah declare that, angry or no. she
must come across the street for a cup
OF tea and a bite to eat?
The hour had nearly expired before
they came into the concourse again,
and Gilson's face fairly glowed az he
caught the look OF happiness in their
eyes.
The train had been called, and the
gate was open, but the little girl dio
not pass through.
You did it on purpose" she accus-
ed smilingly as she laid q gentle hand
on Gilson's sleeve. "And to think
that L threatened to report you! You
must have thought me little cat
DUTY to close the gate when the
signal is given" said ellison mechani-
caIly. but the little girl saw only the
twinkle in his eyes, and she raised
herself upon the tips of her little pat
ent feathers
IT'S all right again, thanks to you.
she whispered. I'VE will be married
after Easter. and you must come to
the wedding"
Blushingly she hurried through thu
gate, Metcalf pressed the toil-worr
hands as he followed after. and t.
ellison, watching them go down ths
platform through the film of glat
tears that yelled his eyes, It seemed
that the changing OF bells. the hiss
and roar Of escaping steam, and ths
babel of cries resolved into one grant
wedding march for This little girl.
Copyrighted 1908, by e. G. Par
cel1s.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

rFrom the Philade1phia Record
Many a family tree is grated.
A side show-the fellow with hi.
ears
All things come to those who m
after them.
When In doubt it's a good plan >,
tell the truth.
An ideal lover often makes n rn,,h-
ty poor husband.
The fellow who In thrown ove- e.
naturally downcast.
The man who hasn't q rad cam -
course, has no ready money.
Fast friends should have no dsfrt-
Guilty In keeping pace with each Other.
The man who wants his wifa -
make the best Of things might trv III =
experiment of marrying the cook
It may be impossible to taxa .orn.-
thing from nothing, but you corr.
pretty near it when you take thu CO.,
ceit out OF some people.
Guzzler-sHave a drink p. wis.,
-No. thanks. I'm on the water wse.
on. Don't you ever try It p ss(su-.1ss.
|-"Oh! yes-on and on"
He-"What did your fatba-
when you told him I was a no.t =.
Sne-"Ohi he raved about ~ =.
any convinced him that veu --a..,s
moUh OF Poet. a<tsr ali. u
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29
N,,, Idea IN Photoeraphy,

The young man had been photo
graphed falling from an aeroplane,
wrestling with lion in a Jungle. and
being swallowed by a shark.
'aTo be photographed like that Is q
good idea, isn't it?' he said. The
Illusion Is obtained by means OF few
simple but effective properties, for I
need not tell you that. real as the pic
lures look, they are all fakes. The
work was done in one of the fashion
able California winter resorts.
I'm winter resorts all over these
fake photographs are now being
made. The ingenious and startling
ones take greatly. My three are the
most popular Next come an auto
mobile upset, tobogganing on the Cres-
ia Run at st. Mor1az, and climbing
the Matterhorn. In all OF them the
portrait, though small: is very clear
and rood. "-Philadelphia Bulletin.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29
CROOKS SHOULD STAY HERE

Witzoff. the bigamist. who left behind
him in America no fewer than thirty
nine wives, according to his own story,
has been caught in England and SEN
fenced to seven years for bigamy and
five years for fraud. a total of twelve
years. In this country he committed
one Of these crimes several times q
year and he was probably guilty of
fraud still more frequently. Nothing
very serious happened to him here,
however.
So it was with Whitaker Wright. He
was a high financier of the most ap-
proved American type and operated for
| q long time in New York and Phil
adelphia- Then he went to England
and tried the same business scheme
there and was sentenced to seven years
| in prison. To escape the punishment he
| took cyanide of potassium and died on
leaving the court room. II he had con-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

been filed against Mr.. Jerome in which
he is accused of having failed to prose-
cuke the richand influential grafters who
have robbed the city and its people
through the medium Of the ice trust.
the insurance companies, and the more
recent transactions in the street rail-
way properties. The charges are for
midable ones and 1t will be recalled
that Asa Bird Gardiner was removed
from the same office by Mr.. Roosevelt
when he was governor Of New York
on charges that were not half so SER
ious.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

skate under der middle span uf me,
er else soak me on der noodle nit a
brick und put me oudt uf MISERY"
Someday I am going to steal q DASH
hund-vich ISIS called a dash-hund pc
caus he doesndt look like a dash, und
yoos him to clean chinneys NIT.
Dere ISIS many oder kinds uf dogs in
dis kioodle-fest. but hafendt time to
to mention dem all
Speaking uf dogs reminds me: How
iss your rheumatism? I hat two boils
und a case uf der pip. Hoping dis will
find you der same, remain still In der
same blaze. dear Looie, yours.
Misder Maxim. Jr., hat infented a
noiseless gun. Vot We need more ISIS q
noiseless son-uf-a-gun. We are deviied
to deaf NIT der professional gabbist.
und We hat no opchections to der noise
knock on dis "act uf god" bitxness.
I am nod a lawyer, und am nod lead
ing any double life, but dis ting musd
stop. Alder der vimmins got all der
lawyers und sweetheart, killed on py
der act uf god" sysdem. dey might
hat der habit SO strong dot dey would
hat to work oudt on us plain skitizens
No. Maud. ven We say dot q Teller hat
fleets uf clay" i'd doess nod necessarily
foller dot hiss feets ISIS dirty.
Dokters ISIS always unventinr NEW
Diseases, but dey hat oferiooked a nm.
portandt bet. Vot We need mosd iss a
painless stomach aoke.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
lFrom the Chicago News.l

[From the Chicago News.l
It's a poor cook who isn't able to
make good.
Heyday Of youth isn't in it with the
pay day of manhood.
Honeyed words are sometimes used to
mend broken promises.
Isn't 1t queer how smart we think
people are who agree with us?
A woman never gets too old or too
ugly to be interested in a wedding.
A brook is like a woman; it wouldn't
babble so much If it kept it's mouth
shut.
Some men seem to have that dire
disease known as spring fever all the
year around.
Remember, young man, that a little
encouragement during leap year is q
dangerous thing.
A man who is looking for trouble has
only to say few words pertaining to
the relative worth of his mother and
wife.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29
KANSAS COHAENT
CURE ron IMMoRALrY.

It is very gratifying to observe the
trend and tendency of strong and
thoughtful minds toward the subject
OF immortality and the solution of it's
scientific principles. In New York,
where 1t gets its tightest grip upon
youth, there is q concerted effort
among leading people, to curb tine
growth of vice in its many forms and to
keep 1t under control with the ultimate
purpose OF stamping it out entirely,
and not only freeing the young people
from the burdens it puts on them but
arming them with a moral force. scien-
t1HcaHy created, to throw them off be-
fore they become fastened upon them.
Rev. Charles L. Cleveland OF Ring
proper knowledge OF self and sex were
legally enforced to be impaired to every
boy and girl. either by their school In
structors or by individuals whose
knowledge of this subject was sound
and rational. and who were especially
deputed to explain to the pupils Of our
public schools. in a strictly scientific
and intelligent way, the sanitary and
moral necessity of purity. surely the
reckless disregard of morality which
characterises many young men of the
present day would be eliminated and
ignorant people would be lifted into
higher sphere Of life by the sheer force
Of realization of what they are and
by the moralizing effects of absolute
knowledge.
The suggestion is a good one, and 1t
is hoped that it Will appeal strongly for
adoption among. the men and women
Of the land. who have consecrated
themselves to the cause of purer indi-
vfdual lives, better government and a
more wholesome citizenship.-Wichita
Eagle.
FRENCH FINES AND DAMAGES.
The case Of Boni de Castellane and
Prince de Sagan in the French courts
would make the plot to a tine comic
opera, and no doubt some comedy
writer will utilize 1t.
Two mobiles meet in church and at
the conclusion of the funeral services
OF relative which took them there.
they have regular vulgar scrap.
They roll over in the mud Of the gut
ter and Count Boni spits in the face
of the prince. Delicious nobility
Then comes the noble duello. But
the character of the prince is such
that the count can not bemirch his
escutcheon by meeting him on the
field of honor, and IL he could, yet Is
the prince SO fallen that no one can
be found low enough to be his second
This is Boni's representation. Ye
gods. think OF it. A prince SO low as
to be below such scoundrel as
America knows Boni to be.
The next scene takes us to court
where the merits of the case are
heard. The facts are recited and the
Judge eager to do exact justice, sums
up the matter with the tremendous
result that Count Boni de Castellane,
one of the great French nobility. Is
fined the enormous sum of $40, while
tho grand Prince de Sagan of France
is given damages in the vast total OF
twenty cents. Let the curtain fall
Wichita Beacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

As was expected the investigation of
the construction Of the U. s. battleships
which was brought about by the scath-
ing criticism of their fs-ultiness that
was made by one Reuterdahl, a land
scape and marine artist, has brought to
light that these criticisms are farcical
and hardly worth the paper they were
written on. For Mr. ReuterdahPs own
sake. it is to be hoped that he knows
more about brushes and paint pots than
he does about naval construction.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Hope Is the bread of the unhappy,
says a German proverb.
y ~
Giving advice is more popular than
giving help because 1t Is SO much
easier.
o = -
Girls don't object to fellows being
bears If they are OF the hugging va
riety.
=
Besides the glory In the fact that
every boy may be chosen president
there is also the danger that he may
be nominated for vice president.
= 4
The man who complains of having
to walk the floor all night with a
baby should thank his stars that he
does not live in Greenland where the
nights are six months long.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

looks like a mad catfeesh in der face,
und candt spit ofer hiss chin mitoudt
laying on hiss back. Dere ISIS also, yet,
der animal vich ISIS called der mice
hound. but he vas nod pesendt- Look
iene, der owner uf dis warmth, would
nod allow him to be pressend. He vas
ufarid a mice would make hiss dog
climb tree und yump oudt uf der top.
NAL
Also yet, We hat der dash-hundt. Der
dash-hundt ISIS my faforite froot. Ven
I Eel sick und plue. I can look ad a
dash hundt und laff muselluf in indo
dimes called a animal, but nod fire.
quencely. looks like a cross between a
catty-piller und sigs-bits wort uf lif-
ferwurst. Der sad expression he wears
along hiss ears und backbone would
make you crack a Stat NIT lafang. Ven
der crttter looks ad you. he seems to
said, Please. Misder, elder put a roller
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

Not many newspaper men would balk
at the assignment which has been given
Frederick C. Penf1eld to be the husband
Of Mrs. Anna Weightman Walker, whose
fortune Is estimated at $4,000, 900. And
the lady is to be congratulated for hon.
oring one Of the craft with her hand
rather than decorating herself with a
coronet and title. as many with her
means would have been apt to do.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

And now the P1ttsburg minister who
married Alice Thaw to the Earl of Var
mouth jumps into the limelight He
gets his notoriety by declaring that
the weddings OF the rich are arranged
and carried out by the florist. the same
a. funerals are handled by the under
takers. and that the clergyman has
come to be a mere nothing, necessary
of course. but sandwiched In any old
place. Plenty Of other ministers who
are not averse to a little prominence
will endorse these views.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

With the skin worn off his finget
from shaking hands with Michigan
voters, Ambassador Jusserand. of
France, who is accompanying Secre-
tary Taft on his invasion OF the west.
beat retreat from the receiving line
at the Pontchartrain hotel here to-
day.
eft is not because I am weary that
I am not in line" the ambassador ex-
planned later, "but because wore the
skin off one of my fingers shaking
hands in Grand Rapids yesterday.
The finger is rather painful.
"This is a very pleasant custom. but
It is rather fatiguing. We have moth
ing like these public receptions for
great candidates in France. The can
didate for the presidency does not
canvass, and there is no campaign"
| Detroit Dispatch to New York Her
aid.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

How times have changed. Not so
many years ago had Indians of differ
emit tribes become as excited as did
Senator Charles Curtis and Senator
Robert L Owen during their debate in
the senate chamber a couple of days
ago, the result would have been the
CORY scalp Of one dangling from the
belt Of the other. But the result was
q friendly handshake. Thus are the
powers of civilization over the savage
axernplifed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR,
[From the New York Press.]

A widow has a very coy way of Hkins
a man to smell Of tobacco.
The trouble with marrying for money
is the job always proves to be worth
more than 1t pays.
A man could make himself very USE
full by inventing some new excuse for
staying out late at night.
A woman thinks another is sly when
she goes to church in new gown she
didn't tell about beforehand.
Lots more girls would get married
earlier II 1t didn't take them so Ions
to get over thinking they can sing.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

Unless the trustees interfere, eight
fashionable churches Of Boston. COM
<ortably warmed and lighted. will be
opened as night shelters for the home
less unemployed. This causes the New
York World to truly remark that there
are few works of man more useless for
six days in the week than the big
church kept shut, cold and dark be-
tween Sundays"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison Globe. ]

What a william q man is willing to
become in making a good trade 2"
If you make a mistake, admit 1t.
When you have occasion, frankly say,
I'm sorry"
There seems to be a satisfactory
substitute for nearly everything but
smoking tobacco.
When a rabbit becomes angry, and
there are no boys or dogs around,
how fiercely he raves and snorts!
If there is a rocking chair In a
woman's kitchen, 1t is a sure indica-
ton that she does all her own work.
When a man gets the tail end Of
a stock Of goods that he can't sell
anywhere else, he takes 1t to Oklaho-
ma.
About the kindest thing that
Death can do for US is to remove US
before the period when we become
problem.
The spelling reformers have taken
a sg'' from "egg." That, however, Is
not the kind Of reduction the consum-
ers desire.
How very few people there are in
the world who haven't someone In
their family whose name is never
mentioned!
ANY man is willing to admit that
he doesn't write a good "hand;" bad
writing Is generally regarded as a
mark of genius.
In one particular all mothers are
alike: They don't care for any pie
when there are q lot Of children to
be served, and there Is only a little
pie left.
When you hear gossips talking,
about people in q cruel and untruth-
full manner remember that you prob
ably get it in this same way. Don't
imagine you are not talked about.
We don't believe very much In be-
ing good to those who smite you, and
make YOU feel uncomfortable: We
believe q man should be good to his
friends. and let his enemies alone.
After a woman has read in the
newspapers of the manner In which
husbands run off, she wonders she
has enough faith that her husband
will come at night, to start supper for
him.
When a girl gets a dreamy, far
away look, it may mean she is In
love. but when that expression comes
on the face Of q married woman 1t is
proof she is thinking of buying COW.
We have never fied from Justice,
hut we imagine 1t must be a feeling
like that one has when going up a
crowded street with the belief that
something is wrong with his clothes
| in the back.
In the bill for q recent Atohison
brides outfit was this item: "One pair
Of 9arters. So" Her father did not
eav much. but he has been acting in
4 strangely sympathetic mood when
| he meets the bridegroom ever SINCE
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

Roselle, N. j., has delved back to or
cinances Of the vintage of 1874 bymeans
OF which 1t is proposed to put a stop to
activities Of all sorts on Sunday. There
is one novel feature to these blue laws
that Is not a part of those in other
sections OF the country which are being
enforced just now. Should an offender
object to arrest and use profane Ian
guage he is subject to q fine of so cents
for every ''cuss" word that he utters.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

Is not this the limit? A cell in a
prison at Remdsburg was "raided" and
in it was found to be a we'll equipped
counterfeiter's workshop. where long
term prisoner busted himself with max
ing spurious money. But that is not
all This bad money was put into cir
culation by some of the minor officials
of the prison.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

Following the examples set by the
high and mighty in the land. Wich-
ata councilman took occasion the other
evening to call the mayor that shorter
and uglier' word. There was no blood
shed. Neither was any attempted.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

Perhaps it Is most pertinent to in
quire what is to be gained or what Is
the necessity for the county conven-
tions to pass resolutions instructing
delegates to the state conventions to
stand for certain candidates for COVER
nor when the conventions are not to
have q hand in nominating candidates
for this or any other officer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

There's now a chance for everyone to
be hero. Governor Folk, of Missouri,
has declared that the man who lives for
his country is as patriotic as he who
dies for it. But how many are there
who WIN take the opportunity to gain
Tame in this way2
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

Now that Mark Twain has accepted
the presidency Of the Anti-Noise socie-
~ it will be in order for him to wear
more modest clothes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

Kansas may well be proud of the
way her banks weathered the recent
financial storm. Only two Of them were
forced to close their doors permanent
L.. These were small ones at that.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

Governor Hughes, of New York, has
oseu asked to remove the theatrical
William Travers Jerome from the office
OF district attorney Of New York coun-
n Ewenty-two specific charges have
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

tinued In New York he might have
been one of the gentlemen who saved
the country during the recent financial
panic
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRES

The State Journal is a member or sne
Associated Press and receives the full Gay
telegraph report OF that great news Or
Sanitation for the exclusive afternoon
Solicitation In Topeka.
The news IL received In The state jour
nal bsrilding over wires for this solo pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-29

When they were filled. he said unto his
disciples. Gather up the fragments that
remain, that nothing be 1ost.-John 6:12