The bee., 1908-05-14
THE ANCIENT
SEXTON
The story uncle Joe Loves
to Tell

exclaimed that the pleasure In story
telling consists not so much in the
brilliant spinning Of a new tale as In
the sympathetic and loving repetition
Of one stock story-whlch brings to
mind Uncle Joe and his old. old anec.
dote OF the ancient sexton. When and
where Uncle Joe first told this aged
yarn will probably never be known.
but Il must have been when Uncle Joe
was very young, for as long as the old
! est OF us can remember the name Of
Uncle Joe has always coniured up the
image Of the ancient sexton. and any
mention Of a sexton has always
brought to mind the picture OF Uncle
Joe getting ready to tell his story
his eyes beaming. his face shining
his expression suffused with all the
fine Joys Of paternity. while breath
less silence reigns around the table
and Uncle Joe is coaxed to tell his
tale.
Now, Uncle joe" says some one,
tell them that story Of yours"
All-Yes, Uncle joel Pleased
Uncle Joe docking up from his cot
fee and trying to look puzzled) What
story?
Chorus--About the ancient sexton.
Uncle Joe (his face breaking into
a tender smile that he cannot hold
back)-O. that onel
And throwing himself back in his
chair, Uncle Joe. looking modestly at
his coffee. begins.
Uncle Joe-Once upon a time there
was an ancient sexton, one OF whose
duties 1t was to show persons to their
seats. He was an ancient man, and
to save himself the exertion OF walk
ing up and down the aisle he was in
the habit Of taking his stand in the
center Of the church, and when an
incomer appeared at the door the sex
ton would beckon to him and show
him to a seat. The young boys Of
the neighborhood, knowing this pc
cullarity of the sections. used to pop
their heads there Uncle Joe looks at
us with a frankly amused smile), used
to pop their heads inside the church
door and mimic his action by beckon.
ing to him with an obliging little
laugh Uncle Joe arches his eyebrows
and shows US how the naughty young
boys used to beckon the ancient sex
toni Many times he tried to catch
one. and one Sunday morning he near
ly did so. But the boy rushed away
from the church and ran plump into
the arms OF policeman!
Clasps OF rapturous breathlessness
and general filters Of Joy sweep
around the board.
Uncle Joe-"what have you been up
to-" demanded the policeman. I'm
caught" thought the boy, but look.
ing up at the policeman he said; 20,
sir. there's a disturbance in that
church and they have sent me to
fetch policeman" Very good"
said the ofhcer. I'm step in and see
about IT," So he entered the vesti-
bule. took OF his helmet and entered.
The moment the ancient sexton
saw the policeman he beckoned
TO him and motioned him TO q
seat next TO an old gentleman. The
policeman tiptoed into the seat
nudged the old gentleman and said:
Come quietl"
"a roar of laughter led by Uncle
Joe.)
What do you mean?" said the old
gentleman.
(Another roar Of laughter led by
Uncle joel
"You know what mean, said the
policeman, and l don't want none of
your chat. Now, will you come quiet
or shall use force?"
"a third roar OF laughter led by
Uncle Joe, who falls back helpless into
his chair and has to be patted on the
back and given a glass OF water, while
the family regards him with a pleas.
ure too great for words).
81 really don't understand you,
said the old gentleman. Now, look
here said the policeman, we don't
want any more disturbance. You've
been kicking up quite enough and I'm
going to have you out quick"
And after We have rallied to Uncle
Joe's relief once more he wipes his
eyes. signs: "A-a-a-a-a-ahl" in an &c
stacy Of spiritual satisfaction and
again takes up his tale.
Uncle Joe-By this time the congre-
cation was looking at the pair and
wondering what the matter was, SO
the old gentleman said: very well.
l have not made any disturbance, but
to save any | win 60" So together,
to the wonderment OF the congrega,
ton. they marched up the aisle. When
they had passed out Of the church the
sexton followed them. and the police
man turned to him and said: NOW
then, you have 10 make your charge"
And Uncle Joe. fetching another
sigh of exquisite Utilization,
reaches up into falsetto melody and
gives himself up to merriment uncon-
fined.
Uncle Joe (gasping)-"Charge?"
said the sexton. There isn't any
charge All the seats ara freeV