The Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1903-1909, 1908-05-09


arguments that come up."-Washing
ton Star.
Husband-I say, my dear, such luck
I've engaged two maids for you to
day.
Whatever did you get two for
We only want one.
Husband-Ah, that's Just It One u
coming tomorrow and the other In
weeks time.
"Well, WE'LL" growled the first mai
ut the banquet, why did they call OIL
that man for speech? He doesn'
know how to talk"
NO." replied the other; "but, then
he doesn't know what he's talking
about anyway. so there's no harm
done"-Philadelphia Press.
did you ever get over her mothers
objection to your
"Yes; told her that she looked al
young as her daughter"
"That caught the vain old lady.
suppose"
Easily, but 1t lost me the daugh
er."-Exchange.
Stranger-What sort Of man Is youl
neighbor. John Braggsf
Native-Oh, he's all right, but he has
q telescope imagination.
Stranger-How's that?
| Native-Yes, he can't even tell the
truth without getting 1t at least two
sizes larger than 1t Is.
Traveller Ito valet)-That's a rather
large statue, Pat
Pat-Yes, sor. They tell me the hand
Is eleven inches wide.
Traveler-Wonder why they didnt
make 1t twelve inches?
| Pat Because they didn't want tc
make foot.
A duty may be very difficult thing
4 very disagreeable thing. and, what Is
strange, it is often very invisible
thing. 1t is present, close before us
and yet we don't see 1t; somebody
shouts Its name in our ear, Duty
and straight 1t towers before US q
grim giant.
Mrs. Stubb-John, what In the world
are you doing with those boxing gloves
In one hand and the remnants Of din
ner in the other?
Mr.. Stubb-Maria, there Is tramp
downstairs who says he is looking for
scraps. | want to be certain which
kind he means.
"At last" said the ambitious young
novelist, II have written something
that l think will be readily accepted
by the first magazine to which 1t is
offered"
"What is itT his friend asked.
"A check for years subscription.
Chicago Record Herald
"Some Of the greatest classical COM
posers did not make any money" said
the guest at the musical.
Eyes" answered Mr.. Cumrox, that
thought Is about the only thing that
gives me any sort Of comfort when
listen to the things they made up."--
Washington Star.
Mrs. WINSTON think your husband
is so witty! But why is 1t that you
never laugh at his Jokes? have often
noticed this.
Mrs. Clapper - He always tries his
jokes on me first. I hear them sew
eral times before he springs them in
company.-Cleveland Leader.
Andrew Fletcher, a Scotch writer,
who died in 1716, wrote to the Marquis
Of Montrose, the Earl of Rothes and
others, II once knew a very wise man
that believed that II man were per-
mitted to make all the ballads Of a
nation he need not care who should
make the laws of a nation"
There is no national holiday In this
country, not even the Fourth Of July.
Congress can make no law for holt
days outside the District of Columbia
The presidents proclamation itself
makes Thanksgiving, for instance, q
legal holiday only In the District Of
Columbia and the territories.
you know" said smart young man
to girl, "some one has said that II
you would make lasting pair of boots,
take for the sole the tongue Of a wo-
man."
YES" replied the girl, land for the
uppers you ought to take the cheek Of
the man who said It"
Dwarf Elephants.
The island Of Malta Is the only known
spot where remains Of dwarf elephants
are found. There are several places on
the island where the bones Of these
miniature pachyderms have been I'M
earthed, and hundreds of skeletons
have been secured in whole or In part
One of these was a full grown speci-
men less than two and a half feet In
height and could not have weighed
over 600 pounds when In flesh.
Just Like Grandpa.
Mrs. Barbinby was RECALLING Mr.. B.
with a few selections from the sdver-
Using columns.
"Now. here's something" she ex-
claimed, that would like to have In
tables! Just look here, Johnl Polished