The Washington herald., 1908-04-26
WOMAN ABOUT TOWN
FRALTIEs AND FoIBLEs OF HER SEX
FRAnTIEs AND FOIBLES OF HER SEX

but. then. he always will. and peoule tell
so many things when they meet at Cape
May.
Mixes His and b.
People are telling Of a learned Wash
ingtonian whose mighty brain slipped a
cog at q dinner where scientific men con-
gregated not long since Prof Dash ar
rived at the dinner somewhat wearIed.
and when the after-dinner speeches be
gan leaned his head on his hand and
doubtless dozed a little. The last speech
he heard distinctly had to do with air
ships and the problems OF aerial naviga-
ton. Then he was called upon TO make
brief response-Or maybe IL was a
speech or two later. At any rate ne ross
dazediy but beamingl his mind full OF
balloons, and began blandly.
When my learned brother goes boar
Ing In his saloon"
Chance for the "UpIift.D
fancy we dweilers In cities have no
idea OF the appalling spread throughout
the country Of the moving picture show.
There is scarcely a village anywhere
without its mighty -wreeking display
an oculist tells me that moving pictures
VIII ruin anybody's eyes IN the course OF
week or ten days if gazed at every
evening-and its accompanying output OF
illustrated songs. and together the COM
bination is driving rural communities so
rapidly to the dogs that when the piano
stops you can hear the CANNES bark.
Good staid church folk who'd have 10
be blindfoIded and backed into a theater
who associate vaudeville with the odor OF
sulphur and birthstone crowd into these
picture shows with their children. down
70 the pranting babe, and gaze untrou-
bled at moving picture stories OF theft
and deceit. arson and highway robbery.
/ They don't even blink when the French
lady perches on the cafe table and pours
out knockout drops or a scantily clad
ballet wrinkles across the screen. II isn't
once in a dozen evenings that the aver
age small town moving picture show dis
plays anything more edifying than these
things. and If you don't know how 10
crack safe or set fire to house the SUI
! perintendent Of the Sunday school in PO-
dunk will take you 10 the nickelodeon
end let you see how it's done. He enjoys
| 1t, but you couldn't drag him to see any
thing so wicked as Peter Pan" He sits
entranced, too while the piano and the
quartet-sOmetimes it's a phOnograph-
explains in song the pictures on the
screen. The song is always a musical
gem and the literary part Of il goes like
this:
A maidun fair and geutuli
Was strolling hand in hand
With a gent who loved her truly,
| Beside the ocean strand.
| The moon was shining brightly,
Which showed Il vas not day
| De took her hand in his'n
Then he TO her did say;
Ny tcotsey w0oti
| Quartet: ny tootsy W0o,J
Don't BIC ne scot
Quartet in rs efect.l
/ You ara 50 cute.
| tQuarst as before and afterWard
And far 70 boot
/ Ny tootsey V0oti
It's ne you suit:
! You're tltti-fTutt'
/ Ny tootsey-woot!
Barber shop chords from quartet Ted-in-the-faoe
high note from tenor, diminished seYens and sixths
| and anything else handy for the rest Of them
| OF course. If you use a word that isn't
W0ot for the girls pet name you have 70
: change the other end words to rhyme,
1 but sentiment and the staccato rag tine
And all that's what our country cousins
are getting for refined entertainment and
/ if Congress doesn't put a stop 10 It some
| body with an AK ought 10. There are co
many songs that might be illustrated.
/ Imagine the possibilities OF Mandalay
with the palm trees and the hathis and
/ the housemai5s and the Cd flotilla, or
The Two Grenadiers," or Home. Sweet
! Home. or Ony one Of a dozen other
worthwhile songs There are so many
/ moving pictures Of actual educational
value. In short, why doesn't some phil
anthropist start out a series of moving
| picture shows that won't be streaked and
! soaked and spotted with vulgarity? It's
an easy thing TO reform a man who has
| carelessly allowed himself 10 drift into
/ the habit of killing his grandparents or
wTecking trains. but once you've STEPPED
a mans brain in vulgarity there's no
| hope for him in this world, and for the
/ comfort of the rest OF Us I hope there's
/ none in the next