davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
impressed With Birmingham.

T. T. Wilson, one of the most promi- nent business men of Chattanooga, aft CT spending two days in Birmingham returned home last night. It had been a year or more since he was last here and he remarked great improvement on this trip.
 While I knew Birmingham in a gen eral way I had never before had the opportunity of seeing it thoroughly un- til l came this time" said MT. Wilson. During my visit I have done a great deal of looking around I have been over the residence sections and have visited East Lake, North Birmngh am and Ensley, and it is needless to say that l have been most favorably i'm pressed. This is indeed a wonderful district.
 Birmingham is a much larger city than l had thought it was. It is q, handsome city, indeed, and l have been particularly struck with the prosperous air of the people here. A stranger. in viewing the crowds on the streets and the business-lil<e appearance of every thing, would come to the conclusion that hard-times had skipped over this part of the country"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
Another Huge Campaign Fund

When MT. Watson, the republican whip" of the House, came back from the White House, he said: "The Presi- dent spoke as a party man.
 But as a party man he does not in these closing days of the session ask his party to pass campaign publicity bill, and his party obeys him as it's true leader. The leaders in the House and the President propose to pass many bills, but none of them propose to pass a campaign publicity bill, or do anything that will lessen the cam paign fund of 1908.
 These huge campaign funds are the most distressing features of modern politics. It is idle to say that millions are used legitimately. It is simply inn hours of campaign to buy votes as a rule in the larger cities of the country in debatable states. This condition of politics was fully inaugurated in 1896, and it has become chronic at feast in the republican party. The deepest re- gret is that the republican party re, fuses to take any step to put an end to a condition that threatens to lead to wholesale corruption and demorali- zation.
 Strangely, indeed, the President, who has in the past stood for publicity, now neglects to make a recommendation or take step in that direction. When Theodore Roosevelt refuses to urge a reform we may, indeed, assume that the entire party intends to repeat, if possible, the stories of 1896, 1900 and 1904. It proposes to gather from trusts and magnates enough money to con- trol the election.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20

ful mone.' in the making and financing of the crop on warehouse receipts. Instead of throwing the great crop on the market in the last four months of the calendar year it should be carried throughout the crop year. There should be. in other words, no congested mar. keting that the foreign buyer could take advantage of. Slower marketing would be better for the producer, for the railroads and for the country. It would be better for all interests except the foreign buyers.
 The advantages are so plain and so easily within our grasp it will be strange, indeed, if some way is not de- vised in which to finance the great crop to the best advantage of this country instead of serving other coun- tries by letting them gather up over one-half of the crop at unduly de- pressed prices. lLet the farmers and financiers keep the problem before them until a satisfactory way is de- Vised. It has been pending a long time, and the more educatio we have en the subject the closer we will get to a reasonably satisfactory solution of the problem
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
THE GERMAN ARMY.
he Washington Post.

From the Washington Post.
 'Desertions in the Garman army are almost unknown" said Major Wack- witz of Saxony, an officer in the Kaiser's army, who is at the Arling- ton. The discipline in the German army, as is well known. is perhaps the most rigorous of any in the world, but there is rarely a thought of deserting. This is due largely, I suppose. to the fact that service in the army of Ger many is compulsory. 1t is part Of every mans life, just as school edu- cation is. Boys are taught in school to obey, and in later life when they enter the army. discipline is so instilled into their minds that there ,is never tn ought of disobeying orders. In an army of 800, 900, necessarily there must be some infractions, but the percent age is very small. It is not for me to speak of the efficiency of the Ger man army. I have unfortunately seen none of the American soldiery, but I have met some of your officers social ly. and l have found them always the finest type of gentlemen.
 Your President MT. Roosevelt, is gretly admired in Germany. The pa- pers. which reflect the sentiment of the people. are loud in their praise of him. A day never passes that some compli- mentary words are not said about MT. Roosevelt.
 q must say that Washington is one of the finest cities l have ever visited, continued Major Wackwitz. After sec ing New York. with it's skyscrapers, I was delightfully."- surprised to find such groad streets and beautiful buildings in Washington. Here one does not have to strain ones neck to get glimpse of the blue sky"
 Major Wackw witz said that dueling, once so common in Germany is now thing of the past.
 "One never hears of the code of hon. or any more" said he.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
WHAT MlLITARIsM COSTS.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
 We are inclined to commiserate Euro peans on the cost of their military es tablishments, but consider this compari- son: The estimated expenditures on the German imperial army for the year ended March 31, 1908, were SIS, 100000 and on the navy s55,SO00OO, making a total of s2S4,- S00,000 Our army and navy appropriation bills come to s2O2, 900, 900. and if the wishes of the navy department were gratified they would come to 224,0o0,000. Cynics charge our pension bill to politics, but however it is reckoned it has its origin in military activities, and the Germans have nothing to compare with this item of S150 OOO 900.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
SLANG TERMS FOR MONEY

CT over the cave of the Forty Thieves. 'Lowre" came from the cant of English thieves, and is of obscure origin indeed.
 "Morpus" probably harks back to the name of Mompesson, an English monop- olist at the time of James I. Moss il- Illustrates the hold which proverbs have on American minds, specifically the warning about a rolling stone creating a slang phrase of its own. 'Ocher' referred to gold because of it's color, and later to all money.
 During the Civil War there was cur rent here a Spanish coin worth 6A cents. called the "picayune," 8 phrase which later meant a 5-cent piece. Pile" ''plunk' bunker" "plunger," and sink err are common.
 'Poney' has the distinction of referring to large sum, p pounds, and is of Eng fish origin. 'Posh' is an enigma. Purse convicts' betrays sense of tigurative that surely must have come from the other side of the water, where the slang makers are more imaginative, though less genuinely inventive than Americans. ".Quid." the English sovereign, probably came from the Latin for something" and in democratic America it denotes any, thing.
 Ready and its expansive descendant ..ready-come- -down-J John," speak for themselves eloquently. Reds" or fred cent denote the "color of your money" when it's copper. Scrip was the old paper money of denominations less than dollar.
 "Shin plasters" was originally applied to the Continental money which depre- ciated after the revolution until many folks thought it was good for nothing except that use which it's size and shape suggested. Sharp shins" may have been corrollary.
 "Scer'' remains to be explained. Sin ws-of-war" is expressive; soap" too, as speaking how money greases the ways of life. "Slugs'' were $50 gold coin, poly gonal. coined privately in San Francisco in 1s49. "Spelter' is another word for zinc.
 .Spondulix" is interesting. The word was first applied to shell money used on the west coast of Africa, and it got it's name from the town whence it came. Spondula. "Sprats'' is English 'Swag" seems to originate in the Norwegian svaga, to sway, from which it came to mean to weigh heavily; therefore pack or baggage, then the booty of highway robbery, then money.
 "Sye-bucks'' and 'threswins" are pug zling "Thrum" was the English three pencet Ways and means" is dignfied slang, and perhaps doesn't really mean much more than than ..wherewtthal."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
Another Big Five

President Roosevelt names Grover Cleveland, Andrew Carnegie, James J. Hill, William Jennings Bryan and John Mitchell as the five greatest men in the United States outside of public life. The exception, "outside of public life, ; is perhaps superfiuous.
 But are the five named persons Americas greatest citizens? There Is not a congressional district in the country that does not hold a man who. given opportunity and great ambition. could not do the work of any one of the five mentioned by the President.
 But here is a list of five that are different. Here are five persons whose work could not under any known cir cumstances have been duplicated in any congressional district, namely, Mark Twain, Thomas A. Edison, Helen Kellar J. P. Morgan and Edwin Mark. ham. It is idle to say that American literature includes today the peer of Mark Twain. In electrical science Thomas A. Edison stands above all. No woman handicapped as Helen Kel- lar is has ever been able to accomplish as much as this honored daughter of Alabama has. J. P. Morgan organized the Steel corporation and tanned the October panic. Who else could have done as much? And as for Edwin Markham, when any American writes a more ringing poem, one that will outlast the entire work of the Presi- cents five, than The Man with the Hoe" then it will be time to erase his name
 If unusual accomplishment be the l standard the Presidents five will not stand criticism. His five worked in the customary level with more or less sue cess but power and money-getting are not the highest standards in this worll, or let us hope, in this country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
A WOMAN'S LOVE.

By John Hay. A sentinel angel. sitting high in glory Heard this shrill vail ring out from
 purgatory: Have mercy, mighty angel. Hear my
 story. q loved-and. blind with passionate
 love I fell; Love brought me down to death, and
 death to hell For God is just, and death for sin is
 well. 'I do not rage against his high decree, Nor. for myself. do ask that grace
 shall be, But for my love ~th, who mourns
 for me. "Great Spirit let me see my love And comfort him one hour. and I were
 fain To pay thousand years of fire and
 pain" Then said the pitying angel: Nay;
 repent That wild VOW. Look; the dial fingers Down to the last hour of thy punish
 mentW But still she walled: q pray thee, let
 me go I cannot rise to peace and leave him so. O let me soothe him in his bitter woe" The brazen gates ground sullenly ajar, And upward, joyous, like rising star, She rose aiid vanished in the ether far. But soon adoWn the dying sunset sail
 ing, And like a wounded bird her pinionsI
 trailing. She fiuttered back, with broken hearted
 wailing She sobbed: q found him by the sum-
 mer sea; Reciined his head upon maiden's
 knee She curled his hair and kissed him.
 Woe is me- She wept. Now let my punishment be-
 gin! I have been fond and foolish; let me In To expatiate my sorrow and my sim The angel answered: Nay, sad soul go
 higher, To be deceived in your true hearts Was bitterer than thousand years ot ire
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
EASTER EGG PICKING.
Youthful Diversion That Is Peculiar To
 This Latitude.

From the Baltimore Sun.
 As Easter approaches the season of "egg picking" hears it's close. It may be that in other cities this diversion prevails as generally among boys as it does in Bal timore It is doubtful whether there IS any other place in which boys engage in 'egg picking with greater earnestness or resourcefulness or enterprise than they do in Baltimore. It would be interesting to know how many eggs change hands in tho course of the picking" season. When almost every small boy one meets is yell ing challenge to some other juvenile to contest of picking it is not an unreasonable assumption that thousands of eggs change ownership from the be- ginning of Lent to Easter. Any man who had in stock at Christmas the eggs which the boys devote to the sport and ag- grandizement of picking would have the basis of a tidy fortune.
 Some very rigid moralists do not ap- prove of egg picking" They suspect that in some instances it encourages fraud and deception. It is amazing, however, how the little fellow scarcely out of his pinafore insists upon a square deal" If there be any undesirable juvenile who does not play the game fairly, if there be any youthful malefactor who rings in a china egg on confiding youngster, his reputation is spread far and wide. Hence forth all smart little boys either refuse to play with him or demand the right tc of !, deceitful "egg pickers flourish for 6 time, but predatory wealth. ultimately comes to grief. Many boy of tender years gains astonishingly in common sense and shrewdness through 'egg pick. ing" It is school of experience witt many thrills for the winner and oc' casional heartaches for the tyro.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
Church Attendance,

met several church-going people this afternoon and all agreed that the attend ance at the services today were univer- sally large said man about town last night Tt is safe to say that in no city Tn the country was there a larger per- centage of people in the pews than here Tn Birmingham. As d rule the attend ance on Easter is the largest of the year. Of course, many persons are attracted chiefly by the music, but I am acquainted with dozen pagans who darken the door of church only once a year and that one time is Easter! They seem to think it their duty to go to church on that day, and they would be in evidence mu- sic or no music"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press.
 An easy way to have trouble is to marry it.
 What a girl likes about being in a love affair is maybe it will turn out real
 The most notorious liar on earth gets credit for telling the truth from anybody he says something nice to.
 The reason a woman knows the bah, is going to grow up. to be President is the doctor says he is so healthy.
 A man prefers to live in the suburbs to the city just the way he'd rather gc to church than the theatre.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
RICHARD CABLES REPARTEE.

From the Show World.
 Richard Carle svas in his dressing room at the Illinois theatre on the opening night of Mary's Lamb It was at the end of the second act and Mrs. Carle came back to compliment him on the suc- cess of the piece.
 "Everything's fine,' said Mrs Carle, 'but I don't think your impersonation of a henpeclSed husband is as convincing as it might be-
 "Ah, Mrs. Carle,'' replied the comedian, looking about with pardonable caution to see whether the faithful recorder Of his bon mots was present, that's because I never had any rehearsals for the part at home'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
WEDDING MUSIC.

From Success Magazine.
 It happened at the little church across the street.
 A wedding was in progress.
 The organist had played "Lohengrin Coming h." and was prepared to play ''Mendelssohn Going Out"
 During the ceremony the strains of "Call Me Thine Own" were blent with the prayer book service.
 Suddenly the sexton whispered in the ear of the organist, Both of thems been married three times!"
 Instantly the fingers on the keyboard modulated into the key of Gee fiat, and through the low-vaulted aisles rippled that beautiful Opus Twenty-ninth street Just For Today"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
From Answers.

70 ".s .sn' T.' '.:.. '' ..:. se' D':7'',:s :sT ss w octopus hanging up in one of the markets. and was forthwith possessed with a desire to slay such . creature-well named the "devil fish, for it is the true ogre of the ocean. l got hold of a fisherman along the notorious "Barbary coast" so familiar to sailors who visit Frisco, and per- suaded him to sail me out to the local ity where the octopus is found, not far from the Golden Gate" l was armed with an ordinary boat hook, and when the tide was well out I was taken to a group of kelp-covered rocks and told that the game was wait ing for me- The place abounded in pools in which the water Ac% a foot deep, the surface bad M El covered by floating weed. "
 Passing from rock to rock I thrust the hook to the bottom of several pools, turning up the sand at the foot had nearly decided to abandon the hunt when the boat hook suddenly gave d up from the weeds. shot an uncanny arm of livid and chocolate hues, lined with enormous suckers. It was trem- bling with rage, and seemed to be en- dowed with intelligence.
 This repulsive limb hurled itself about one of my legs so quickly that before I could make move I was in it's grasp.
 As l fell, slipping partly over on my back, I was mortified to find that the devil fish held on, and that I had pulled it partly on to the rocks out of the wa&r.
 I struggled to my feet and was met by what appeared to be ball of snakes. Two green eyes gleamed in the center from which writhed eight sucker-lined arms. The sight was enough to weaken the courage of the most intrepid lover of sport.
 The octopus merely hung on to my leg with one feeler, not throwing it's other arms around me. Snatching out
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
LINES TO ROOSEVELT.

From Life.
 Admirable in other respects as we knew the Japanese ambas ssador to be, few of us have been aware of his pro- ficiency as a poet. But it seems that
 the impression made upon his Oriental imagination by his first interview with
 our chief magistrate was such as could be adequately expressed only in verse. The accompanying stanzas will appeal to all patriotic Americans who
 happen to be also acquainted with the
 musical language of Nippon. For the benefit of those who do not enjoy the latter privilege we append rude at tempt al translation: Amanagawa I-ho-e-kakariti Mikado kawa nj muki-te; Omoi-sugu-b -beki yoruzu Tamakuri-wawashi? Te, Hik oboshi-bo. Fukinishi nj dedachi Funanori Kumo-t chi watarui Glittering like the stars of the River of Heaven
 I see before me the Teeth of the Yan- kee Mikado. I see also his little Toothbrush.
 Shall it be said that he brushes his Teeth?
 No! That were to put the less before the greater. Say, rather o Hikoboshi. He Teeths his Brushi
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
STAR vAGARIEs.
From the Show World.

From the Show world.
 Billie Burke's first stage appearance was as. a singer Of coon songs in the London m sic halls; May Vokes has refused to pay her photographer because he en- hanced her beauty to unrecognizable pro- portions; Bessie McCoy's favorite drink is strawberry ice-cream soda water. and Frances Starr talks, eats and walks like a regular hope-to-die Spaniard.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
HIS TITLE.

From PUCK.
 The shade became so intolepable that Satan had to rebuke him.
 You swell round here as if you owned the place." quoth the father of lies, se- verely.
 Certainly replied the shade. Why not? My wife gave it to me before we had been married six months"
 Your wife?'
 Yes, sir, my wife; and if you don't think it was hers to give, she'll happen along herself, one of these days and you two can argue it out between your- selves"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20

When it was decreed that the mos quito must go the house fly might have known that his scalp was to be next demanded. But while both these dis ease-breeding insects may be greatly reduced in numerical strength some of them are destined to remain in our midst for years to come.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20

The evolution of the soda fountain goes on. Some of us can remember when the soda water contrivance was modest affair, but, like womans headgear, it has expanded and is now almost as elaborate and costly as Merry Widow hat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20

An enterprising exchange is already offering prizes to subscribers who will, between now and June 1, name a ma jority in William Jennings Bryan's cabinet.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
PHiLosPoHY.
From Everybody's Magazine.

From Everybodys Magazine
 Two Scotchmen occupied the same building. one of them living on the lower floor, and the other upstairs. One evening the man on the first floor, hearing a commotion in the hall, went out to see what the trouble was, and found that his friend had fallen down. stairs. Did ye ia doon Rob?' he asked. Aye said Rob, s"I fell doom, but was comin' doom whether or no"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20

Yesterday was Birmingham's high record day in church going, If the number of church buildings had been doubled all would have been well filled. As it was several of them were packed to overfowing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20

The street car lines of New York city paid out in five years $6,O0O,O0O for legal expenses. How much of it was legal and how much illegal is not known
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
KILLING AN OCTOPUS

sheath knife thrust it deeply into the feeler, which then uncoiled it's grip. The leg which 1t had seized was badly bruised for weeks.
 Having gained a firm footing on the slippery rock, I buried the boat hook in the creature. An inlSy fluid immediately poured out, dyeing the water black. Waves of color shot over the arms-for the octopus changes color like chameleon--and the ugly monster, raising itself right out of the pool tried to crawl over the rocks to the sea. The body was only a small part of the creature, perhaps as large as a child's hand, and in this the boat hook was firmly fixed. I got brac- ing grip of the pole and held it fast. .sAThen shouted to my guide, who ran
 aad helped me to finish off the ogre .aas narag it to the boat. When it was Measured ashore it was found to have a radial spread of no less than Is feet
 Devil fish of this kind and size are found all along the California coast. I have seen them in other parts of the world, but never so large as there There are several cases on record n which they are supposed to have caused the deaths of swimmers.
 I once say an octopus with a radial spread of only four feet knock down a man and pull him off a rock into the sea. The man kicked it. and in mo- ment it had wound all it's eight suck er-lined arms round him in deadly grip. Several men rushed to his res- cue but the arms could not be pulled away. They had all to be cut off before the man could be released, bad ly injured
 I was present when the largest oc- topus ever caught on the California coast was weighed and measured, some years ago. It was AS feet in length across the body, from the tip of one arm to that of the opposite one, and its weight was few pounds short of a ton. man would be quite helpless in the grip of such a monster.
 It was fortunate for me that my oc- topus was smaller.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
UP TO MOBILE.

From the Washington Herald.
 Now that the Alabama supreme court has declared the prohibition law constl- tutional, there seems nothing for Mobile to do but secede.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20
THE FINAL TEST.

From the New York Sun. The angel was making up the list. Put me down." said the man, 'as one who will admit that my dog bites and my baby cries." And 10, Ben Adhem's name led all the rest
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20

Japan and Russia have about con- cluded that the door must be left open, after all So, indeed, it had, for it is a Chinese door.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20

In the fight of Murphy and Connors against McCarren and McCabe the best man cannot win It is a physical i'm possibility
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20

If Governor Johnson stands in the limelight much longer he may be cap tured and forced into Fairbanks seat
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-04-20

Captain Hobsons anxiety for peace comes high, and we do not need such extensive preparations.