The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1908-06-20

e 1SA
II understand the new magazine has
high standard" Indeed it has. It
went up Observation-Disclosures Constitu'
ton.
Redd-What kind OF q machine have
you got now? Greene "A runabout; It
will run about a block and then stop.
-Yonkers Statesman.
Authoress-I'm very happy In m,
married life. 1 find my husband such
help. Friend Indeed! Does he
cook, or write?- Fliegende Blaetter.
"Maude was afraid the girls wouldn't
notice her engagement ring" did
theyy did theyl Six Of them rec
ognized it at once" Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
II hear yer frien' Tamson's marriet
again." AYE, so he is. He's been a
dear frien' tae me- He's cost me three
weddin' presents an twa wreaths. -
London Tit-Bits.
lis your husband voracious in his
appetite, madamY'N 81 can't say as he
is. doctor. He'll eat anythinb and ev-
erythink as long as there's anythink
to eat Baltimore American.
He-If you refuse me shall 60 out
and hang myself to the lamp-post In
front of your house. She-Now, George,
you know father said he wouldn't have
you hanging around here.-Life.
Ever seen Congress in session p
NO." replied Farmer Coboss, 'but l
know how it looks. hev hired man
who kin git as busy doing nothin' as
anything on th."-Washington Her
aid.
Mr.. Newlywed-But, my love, why
are you weeping? Mrs. Newlywed-
Oh, John! John! l just peeped into
the kitchen and saw that cook has
on her travelling gown. = Harper's
Weekly.
II want a man to do odd Jobs about
the house, run on errands, one that
never answers back and is always ready
to do my bidding" you're looking for
a husband, ma'am, not man."-The
Jewish Ledger.
Hi Tragerdy-Yes, ne opened in Osh-
kosh. Lowe Comerdy-And what did
your audience think of your Ham
lety' Hi Tragerdy-Wey-er-he went
out before had chance to ask him.
Philadelphia Press.
"Cheer up, old man." said the consol-
ing friend. "You know love laughs at
locksmiths." Eyes, l know" replied
the detected lover. "But her father
amt locksmith-; he's boilermaker."
Detroit Free Press.
He-So your father thought l want
ed to marry you for your money. What
did you say? sShe-I persuaded him
that you didn't, and then he said If
that was the case you didn't hay any
sense-The Jewish Ledger.
'Willie, did you put your nickel in
the contribution box In Sunday school
today" mo, mamma! I asst Eddy
Lake, the preachers son, If couldn't
keep it an spend it for candy, an he
gave me permission. Denver News
young man." said the pompous in
dividual, II did not always have this
carriage. When l first started In life
I had to walk" "You were lucky"
chuckled the youth. when first
started in life l couldn't walk. The
Catholic News.
Nellie doesn't know anything
about the little ~niceties Of paying at
tention to a girl. Belle-Why, / saw
him tipping your shoestring. Nell
Yes; but he tied it in double knot, SO
it couldn't come united again.-Phila-
delphia Record.
what you want is a stenographer
who is rapid and absolutely accurate.
"Well," answered Mr.. Bliggins, rapid
ity is all right, but as to accuracy
well, l don't want to be held down
strictly to my own ideas of grammar"
Washington Star.
Miss CUTTING see by the paper
that all the swell set was at the AS
sembly ball last night. Miss McBluff-
Yes; expected to be there, but was
prevented Miss Cutting-The idea
hope the doorkeeper wasn't rough
with you, Catholic Stapdard and
Times.
Tommy-Do you believe it is fortu-
nate to be the seventh son? Mickey
Nav! I'm the seventh son. Tommy
But the fortune tellers say the seventh
son has all kinds of luck handed down
to him. Mickey-Huh! All have
handed down to me IL me six brothers'
old clothes Chicago News.
First Gentleman (entering the apart
ment OF second gentleman About a
year ago you challenged me to fight
duel. Second Gentleman (sternly)--
I did. sir. First Gentleman-And L
told you that had just got married.
and l did not care to risk my life
at any hazard. Second Gentleman
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