The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-12
Saw! Can You Beat EN-?

and she'd turned a shoulder to us, like
she was wonderin' how long il would
be before the next act was put on.
Couldn't blame her, either. That was
the weakest imitation of a sparin'
bout l ever stood up in.
But there was no stirrin' Jarvis.
He'd got stagefright, or cold feet, or
something of the kind. It want that
he didn't know how, for he had all the
tags of good amateur about mis-
moves; but somehow he'd been
queered. So, as soon as we can, we
quits. Then sister gets her chance to
gush. She rushes to the front and
turns the baby stare on me like l was
all the goods.
'Oh, it was just too sweet for any
thingi" says she. DO you know, pro-
fessor, I've always wanted to see a
real boxing match; but Jarvis would
never let me before. He'd told me
horrid stories about how brutal they
We're. Now I know they're nothing of
the sort. | shall come every time you
and Jarvis have one, and so will Lady
Evelyn. You didn't think il was
brutal, did you, Evelyn
Lady Evelyn bumped her eyebrows
and gave me one look. NO" says she.
I shouldn't call 1t brutal, exactly"
and then she swallows a polite, society
smoker in way that made me mad
from the ground up. Jarvis didn't lose
any of that, either. / got glimpse of
him turnin' automobile red, and try
in to choke himself with his tongue
It's something like the wand drill
we used TO do at college," says sister.
Don't you like the wand drill. profess
sor?"
when it amt done too rough, I'm
dead stuck on il" says I.
Il just knew you didn't like rough
games" says she. You dJn't look as
though you would, you know"
That's right" says 1.
Jarvis says that once you knocked
out three men in one evening; but I'm
sure you weren't rude about it," she
gurgles.
And that's no pipe, either" says l.
Il wouldn't be rude for money"
What is a Knockout, anyway
says she.
why" says I. its just pushin' a
Teller around the platform until he's
too dizzy to stand up"
What fun" says sister
We makes break for the dressin'
room abo 1t then, and the delegation
clears out. On the way back to the
station Jarvis apologies seven diff
ferent ways, and ends up by givin' me
the cue to the whole game.
Seems that mothers steady job in
life was to get him married off TO
some one that suited her for daugh-
ter-in-!aW She'd been at it for five
or six years, but Jarvis had Away
blocked her moves, until Lady Eve
Ign shows up. I guessed that he'd
picked her out himself. and was get
tin along fine, when mother begins TO
mix in and arrange things. Evelyn
SHES at that, and commences to hand
Jarvis the trapped smile. This little
visit TO the sparrin' exhibition the old
lady had planned for Evelyn's special
benefit.
But hang it ALL" says Jarvis. Il
couldn't stand up there and show off.
like a Sunday school boy speaking
piece Made me feel like a silly ass,
you know"
"You looked the part" says l.
About one more of those stunts, and
Lady Evelynll want TO adopt the two
of us"
No more" says he "She must
think I'm a milksop. Why, she's got
brothers that are officers in the Brit
ish army, fellows who got themselves
shot, and win medals and all that sort
of thing"
Well, | was sorry for Jarvis; for the
girl was a good locker, all right. and
they'd have mated up fine. But I'm
to schatchen. Physical cultures my
game, an | amt takin' on no mar
riage bureau as a side line. So we
shook hands and called il a cancelled
contract Then Jarvis jerks those cir
Gus horses out of a bow-knot and
rounds the corner on one wheel. while
I climbs aboard the choo-choo cars
and gets back near Broadway.
l wasn't lookin' to run across Jar
Wis again. seem as how me and him
has our own particular sets; but
'twasn't more'n three days before he