Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-07-17
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so small? Grocer Dickelwurst-I t'ink
dey were took from der nest too soon
alretty.-Philadelph Ledger.
Teacher-Johnny, what do you un-
derstand by that word "deicit?" Its
what you've got, when you haven't as
much as If you just hadn't nothin'."
Hook-I understand he married a
cool million. Cook-Yes; but he's CON-
planning now because he hasn't been
able to thaw out any of it.-Illustrated
Bits.
"What'd Jimmy give yer fer yer
birthday This here brass ring"
How'd yer know it amt nothin' but
brass" "He give it ter me."-Cleve.
land Leader
rs your husband having any luck
at the race track?" "Some luck" an
swered young Mrs. Torklns. "He hasn't
caught cold nor had his pockets picked"
Washington Star.
"Why is it?' asked the dear girl,
that the bridegroom's attendant is
called the best manT" 81 suppose it's
because he is the best off" growled the
fussy old bachelor
Mother-You and Willie have been
at my cherries again. l found the
stones in the nursery. Johnny-It
wasn't me, mother, cause swallowed
all the stones of mine.
|
money? Carsone-Not L; want
brains. Muriel-Yes. l should think
so, If you don't want to marry for
money.-Brooklyn Life.
Your love- he cried, would give
me the strength to lift mountains."
Dearest" she murmured, 'it will only
be necessary for you to raise the
dust .'"-Town Topics.
"Tcll me, brother, is 1t possible to
let Robert know that am an heiress?"
"Ilas he proposed to you?" Yes"
well, you may be sure he knows it
already. Gossip.
at costs more to live than it did
years ago." said the man who COM
plains. Yes" answered the man who
enjoys modern conveniences. but it's
worth more. e."-Washington Star.
Professional Faster-I should like
to undertake fast of four weeks in
this show of yours. How much will
you pay me? Showman-I can't give
you any salary, but will pay for your
keep.
What would you do" asked the ex,
cited politician, ''if paper should call
you liar and a thief?" well" said
the lawyer, ''if were you I'd toss I'D
a cent to see whether I'd reform or lick
the editor"
Miss Blondlock-How dare you tell
people my hair is bleached? You know
it is false! Miss Ravenwing-Yes.
dear, l know it is. told them it was
bleached before you got it-Philadel-
phia Inqnirer.
Il noticed she bowed to you Is she
an old acquaintance" yves we're
slightly acquainted. In fact. she's n
sort of distant relation. She was the
first wife of my second wifes husband"
Chicago Tribune
Officer Flynn-An' so yez amt fake.
hey. How did yez lose yer soight? The
Blind Person-Oh, | was once ON the
police force with orders from nv cap-
tain not to see anythin'. 1t got to be 0
habit with me.-Puck.
Lord Lewson-Why Pat. there used
to be two windmills there. Pat-Thrue
for you, sir. Lord Lewson-Why is
there but one now? Pat-Bedad, they
took one down to lave more wind for
tother.-London Tit-Bits.
He-Do you remember the night I
proposed to you? She-Yes, dear.
He-We sat for one hour. and vou
never opened your mouth. She-Yes,
remember, dear. He-Ah, that was the
happiest hour of my lfe.-The Catholic
Mirror.
Farmer Sacks-Here's a letter askin'
about board for the summer, an want
In to know is thar bath in the house.
What'll tell 'em, Mirandy? His Wife
Tell 'em the truth. Tell em if thew
need bath we'd advise em to take II
afore they come.-Harper's Bazaar.
Every ballot must be counted" the
first speaker had declared. 81 agree
with the gentleman you have lust
heard,' began the one who followed
"but go as far as to say that in GER.
tain emergencies some of them must be-
counted twice."-Philadelphia Ledger
II was reading magazine article
the other day." said the landlady. ain
which the writer advanced the theory
that fully two-thirds Of the diseases
that afflict humanity are due to over
on NXNall