Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-21

/ ing the war OF the heNolulioh VIII
sympathize with the Frenchman in
story that has Travelled across the At
lantic. He is a resident of England,
where his children have been born and
are being brought up. Not long ago
one of the young hopefuls on his re-
turn homo from his history class re-
marked to 1.-The old man.
Papa, we licked you most awfully
at the battle of Waterloo, didn't weP"
Hashlmura on the Auto
Golfers japanese school boy is still
adding to the gayety of the nation HIS
seventeenth letter, with unaoated en-
thusiasm and with English as she Is
Japanned," attacks, with comlcal re-
suits, the subject of automobiles ana
automobiling-as we were saying yes
terday: or 'motor cars and motoring,
as we are told to say today. Hashi-
mura Togo writes that when he wished
to investigate this subject his cousin
Nogi gave him acquaintance 10 Hon.
G. w. Nishi, celebrated coachman Tor
all tour-cars. This Nishi wear rupper
uniform of Japanese field marshal. lie
appear to look like Marquis Oyama. but
is much more important about II. 1
reverence him because he have Killed
several Americans and some Christians
Hon. Nishi,' l collapse with Jap
anese salute, nobody not yet have IN
vited me to ride in one
Maybe so it might he subdivide
with forgetful expression.
" Do automobiles make persons CIVIL
ized? l require for answer.
ASK the Motor Mani signify this
Hon. Nish, making buzz-buzz of ma
chinery and disappear with consldera-
BILE odor. Soonly 1 hope to become
dear acquaintance to this Nishi who
would be a very nice friend for chum.
Next l go to livery stable where au-
tomobiles is kept. There | meet Motor
Man who suspect me of being japanese
count ambitious to buy one l become
Immediately deceptive. He suffocate
ME with international courtesy. He
show me several tour-cars of delicious
machinery.
- HOW mucn TOT price lCu autoliio
bile? | inquire to know.
Red automobile is $4,000 by price,
Mr.. Count, he. collapse with politeness.
How much for price of green auto
mobile?' l ask for naughty reply.
"'Green automobile is $1,000 for price,
Hon. Sir he dictate for reverence.
"Quite WELL, 1 retrograde. Then
paint red automobile green and Jap
anese Boy will take it for $4,000
Hashimura ca the editors attention
to the fact that two great sporty
events is now approaching to Pacific
coast by inches. One of these is that
there Roosevelt rough riding navy
which is rely eventful. The other is
that trip of horseracing automobiles
travelling by snow-plow from New York
to Paris. Them automobiles is quite
international and has been froze to
death in four languages already. They
expects to enjoy Alaska & Siberia in
the same way Shuddering is unpleas-
ant to such heroes.
Il follow this race for one weektime
by press-notice and get these eXcitable
items to close for you:
"Monday-American car drawn by
Hon. Bill Perkins tame mare Florence
forges 101 yards through\ snowdrift.
Observation-Disclosures speaking car, driv-
en- by 2-mule power borrowed from
Hon. Rube Brown make entry to Paris
Neb
"Wednesday-Ital mules pass
American 1-horse power mare.
hursday-American snow plow
Governor Hughes set pace for all
comers.
"Friday-Hay is distributed along
race courc by gallant American troups
so that motor power can stop for lunch
"Saturday-French car 'Motor-BlocA
discovered in Chicago speaking the Ian
guage.
"'H will them motoring-cars go it
in Alaska where horses is scarce to
find?' Sydney Kats jrp inquire for
tip.
Dogs is very obliging as beast of
burden in them Arctick,' l relapse. In
Siberia reindeers of very high gear is
pleasant for automoblling.'
Large supplies of Hon. Gasolene is
necessary for such trip say that light
mind sydney
Large supply of Hon. Oats is more
better for fuel relapse with Ameri-
can eye-wink."
Togo found that motoring had caused
new disease, locomobile ataxia'
which is characterized b. the following
symptoms
"1-When tour-carring on roadway
you suddenly find out you are slow
"2-You mortgage on home to buy
something of swift red color.
"3-You are greedy TO break 1t. You
break record, speed-law e. cranlS-shaft
in short period Then you break neck
g quit it.
"4-You go to hospital to forget wife
& child.
"5-You deceive doctor by honking
yourself to cath"
In closing the comical school boy
says:
"Once more to speak of crime and
then not to mention Gasolene again.
hear by editorial print how 12,oOO,OOO
mans has been arrested in automobiles
for past year, All forms OF burglary,
d. ,,,nr1o. o. osao cain ti0n has