The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-02-18
WOES or A
BACHELOR
His Many Affairs of Heart

= TO Know what ST, PAM said about mar
rage, but | do not agree with him
neither do ! approve Of the course thai
solomon pursued In having l.00i
wives and then saying all was vanity
: and railing TO speak in a kindly man
ner OF womankind in general. | be
lleye In what it says In Proverbs -get
a dear and stay at home and cherish
her. am 40, and as good looking as
the next man. My means are ample
enough 10 keep wife below the
third floor OF fashionable boarding
house.
SO you see have at least one good
trait
| have had lots of proposals, bur
they We're all from shop.worn rem
nants. always believed a man shouli
choose his own wife instead of being
chosen so | refused them an.
Still. so far have found that every
woman ! picked out for my wife has
not seen lit 10 choose me.
The first girl ever proposed TO was
II and as sweet as a breath Of
June. She cried when asked the
question and said she would tell
| mamma.
That was just what did not want
her to do, Mamma was of the pouter
| pigeon variety with a wide girth. and
was very much afraid OF her. So / told
the girl it was harmless joke, and got
out before mamma came.
met that girl the other day. She
has gone her mother one better in
girth She told me she was married.
had six children, and was perfectly
happy So was !.
The next girl was a minister's
daughter. | was in love with her ami
would have proposed had it not been
for her mother | went to call on the
girl one night for the second time.
Her mother greeted me and asked my
intentions.
1t seemed to me as If she was hurry. |
ing matters a little. so told her had /
none.
She said 1T was not fair to pay her /
daughter such marked attention il | /
was not in earnest-it kept other suit
ors away"
So staid away. and the girl mar
fled missionary and went to India
to live
My next trial was with the daughter
OF lady with whom | boarded. /
kept this girl in candy. flowers, thea
ter tickets and rich food one whole
winter i don't know why ever pro.
posed to her, except thought she ex-
pected 1t. However, am thankful to
say sf1e refused rne--told me she was
going to marry a millionaire" and
liked my presumption.
She married dry goods clerk. and
Is still living at home with mamma
and making her own clothes.
Then | fell in love with a childless
widow. She seemed like a sensible
and | thought she would make
4 good wife. She was sensible. all
to know my income.
whether | owned any real estate how
much my life was insured for. and
whether | had family burial plot.
babe her hasty farewell
There was the mother with the au-
1urn'haired. sunburnt, freckled and
;ide-eyed daughter. The mother said {
Ter daughter was perfect jewel and
worthy of any mans love. / was
sorry, but l did not feel as II | were
! worthy casket.
Mrs G., widow Of some 90 full !
ears, proposed to me. She had two l
manly sons OF over 80, neither of
whom had ever tolled or spun. She /
aid her sons needed fathers kind :
y hand to guide them. l told her |
cit mine was not steady enough.
A woman who called herself bach.
lor maid wanted me. She was not a
right, but so near it that most people
ould not distinguish the difference. q
Ter proposal, while not elegant, was n
ovel Hitting me a slap on the back h
ne day, she said: What's the mat i
er with US two getting tied up?" y
"Me!" ] said, and ran for my life.
! think ] have told enough to indi- h
ate that, while a bachelor may wear c
sunny smile, his heart is often /,
eavy. But l will select my own y
fife or remain single. o
/ would not be a man If had not n
allen in love with an actress. This c
ne was a dream that turned into a I,
ightmare. II it had not been for a "
husband would have been is
larried to her. Il
The trained nurse had better luck Al
18th. She accepted, but neglected to a
I'll me she had also accepted fellow Il
/ the next room. She gave me a IN
ueer excuse for her action-said that 10
! all hospitals &c nurses accepted "
nything they could get out of a man
1T made them get well qscker.
The last woman, so far. that | have
roDosed TO is a married one. living n
18th her husband. ] only asked her If W
he would marry me when her hus- NJ
and died. BLESS your heart" she f
lid. Tom is as tough as wire nails. "
I'd he will never die. But ! promise is
, take you If he does. Now run Of
way and be happy until the time or
)mes" h
81. / 4