davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
Another Joke.

Down the street he dashed with his
hair flying in the breeze.
THE bitter end." he shouted Wild
~. The bitter end"
Hes going to jump of the bridge"
shouted one OF his pursuers.
Catch him. yelled another.
And after a dozen men had tumbled
over one another trying TO round him
up they found him calm and smiling
What's the matter with you?" they
demanded.
Nothing" he responded mildly.
Well. what about the bitter endg'
Here il is, gentlemen. The end Of
a Pittsburg stogie. / am selling these
stogies to-day at ten cents for five
and with each stogie you get genu-
Inc Chile diamond
But 20 determined men rushed him
and his stogies down into the tunnel
and left him.-Chicago News
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

Isaac 0'Barns. once pension com
missioner in Boston. appointed by
President Franklin Pierce, was known
for his terse and cutting sayings. It
was told of him that he promised to
subscribe for the erection of Baptist
church ON condition that they should
"baptize EN- in hot water II is of
Mr.. O'Barns the story is told that
when on his deathbed. or when he
thought he was dying, and the doctor
had pronounced his feet warm and
said that no one had ever died with
warm feet. the old gentleman inquired
in a whisper whether the doctor had
forgotten the case of John Rogers.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

The peasants OF France. in accord.
ance with tradition, pierce the head
Of a magpie with thorn whenever
they catch one. According 10 the
French legend. after Jesus had been
nailed 10 The cross two birds alighted
on the extended arms OF the instru.
ment Of death. One was a magpie
with n beautiful aigrette on its head
and long waving tail, then the hand
soonest Of birds but the wickedest.
chlrping insult at the suffering Jesus.
The other bird was modest little
bird with gray pIumage, which APP
preached the cross timidly. uttefing
cries OF grief With its beah IL tried
10 pluck away one OF the thorns. A
single drop Of the blood fell ON the
plying little gray bird and gave the
robin redbreast.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
CURE AT CITY MISSION.
Awful Case Of seabIes-Body Mas
Of Sores from seratehIns-Hsr
Textures Yield to cuticurz.

"A young woman came TO our city
mission In most awful condition physi-
caiiy. Our doctor examined her and
told ms that she had scabies (the itch).
incipient paresis, rheumatism. etc.
brought on from exposure. Her poor
body was mass Of sores from scratch
ing and she was not able to retain solid
food. We worked hard over her for seven
weeks but We could gee little improve.
ment. One day bought a cake OF
Cuticura Soap and bottle Of Cuti-
cura Resolyent, and we bathed our
patient we'll and gave her full dose
OF the .Resolyent She slept better that
night and the next day ! got box OF
cuticura Ointment. In FIVE weeks this
young woman was able to look for =
position. and she is now strong and well.
Laura Jane Bates. s5 Fifth Ave, New
York. n. Y. Mar. IL. 1907"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

No other medicine has been SO
successful in relieving the suffering
of women or received 80 many gem
uine testimonials as has Lydia Il.
Pinkham'sV Vegetable Compound.
In every community you viii find
women who have been restored TO
health by lydia +. Pinkham's Veg
etable Compound. Almost every
one You meet has either been benc-
flied by it, or has friends who have.
In tho Pinkham Laboratory ut
Lynn, Mass, any womananydaymay
see the files containing over Ona mil
lion one hundred thousand letters
from women seeking health, and
here are the letters in which they
openly state over their own sigma
lures that they were cured by Lydia
L. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Lydia Il. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound has saved many women
from surgical operations.
Lydia L. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound is made from roots and
herbs, without drugs, and is whole
some and harmless.
The reason why Lydia 4. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound is so
successful is because it contains in-
gradients which act directly upon
the feminine organism, restoring it
to healthy normal condition.
Women who are suffering from
those distressing ills peculiar to their
sex should not lose sight of these
facts or doubt the ability of lydia
K. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
To RESTORE their health
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
demanded.
The Amenity Of Tennyson.

An American young lady-the
daughter Of an ambassador-who was
exceedingly anxious TO meet the lau-
reate, was given the chance to fulfill
her eager hope one night at a soiree.
After she had been introduced ID him
the following dialogue began:
Tennyson-You are American?
Girl-Yes.
Tennyson-You know Walt Whit
man?
Girl-No
Tennyson-Then you don't know
the only man worth knowing in
America.
Whereupon The laureate turned
away and the interview was over
The cOnservator
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
ersat Names IN washInaton.

Farragut and Thomas. two south
erners who won fame BY their adher-
ence TO the cause OF the union. one a
TenHesseean and The other virgi-
nIan, are kent in remembrance In the
national capital by a square and q
circle respectively. which stand NJ the
centers OF the most desirable residen-
tial districts. Few historical charac-
ters have been equally fortunate in
this respect FaiTagut square is sur
rounded by substantial edldces. in
cludlng several of the best apartment
houses in the city. besides = number
Of the private residences such as those
Of the vice-president and OF Gen. Ora
per. Cities The world over perpetuate
the historical epoehs in which they
grew. This civil war has given 70 the
national capital. since is. period Of ex-
pansion came just after that struggle.
the great names for the new city's
focal points. remarks the Boston
Transcript. And while The south has
naturally had a smaller part in them
than the northerners. It may derive a
little solace indirectly. perhaps. from
thinking Of the Importance OF its con
tributions, in military genius. as we'll
as in bordsr-state soldiers. 10 the
cause Of The union, which is there per
petuated.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
NOT : MIRACLE.
Just Plain Cause and Effect.

There are some quite remarkable
things happening every day. which
seem almost miraculous.
Some persons would not believe that
\ man could suffer from coffee drink
ing 80 severely as to cause spells OF
nnconsciousness. And to find complete
relief I'm changing from coffee to Pos
tim Is well worth recording
Il used to be a great coffee drinker.
so much so that It was killing me by
inches. Ny heart became 50 weak
would fall and lie unconscious for an
hour at time. The spells caught
me sometimes two or three times .
day.
My friends, and even the doctor.
told me It was drinking coffee that
caused the trouble. would not be-
lieve Il. and stIll drank coffee until
could not leave my room.
Then my doctor, who drinks Pos
tum himself. persuaded me to stop cot.
fee aud Try Postum. After much hesi-
fation concluded to try It. That was
eight months ago. Since then | have
Rad but few Of those spells. none for
more than four months.
Il feel better, sleep better and am
better every way. / now drink moth.
ing but Postum and touch no coffee
and as ! am seventy years OF age all
my friends think the Improvement
quite remarkable"
There's a Reason"
Name given by Postum CO., Battle
Creek. Mich. Read "The Road TO Well
VILE" in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter. 4 new
one appears from time 10 time. They
are genuine, true, and full Of human
Interest. t
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
MAIpEM Aosr AER sLIpPgr.
And Young Man Who Rescued il Was
the Envled Of All Observers.

Everything about her bespoke the
returning Summer Girl as she tripped
blithely out OF the Grand Central sta
ton. says the New York Press. In
one hand she carried rather bulky
travelling bag, in the other she held a
gorgeously fowered silk sunshade, to-
gether with the ample reefs In her fur
beloved skirt and petticoats. The
dalntiest pair OF feet In tan slippers
futtered from beneath the reefs as
she hurried through the throngs OF in
coming and outgoing passengers to-
ward Forty-secOnd street car.
She was good to look az, despite the
deep tan OF the summer sun and the
frieze of fragrant freckles across the
slightly upturned nose As she hoped
blithely into he first car that came
along Il became instantly obvious 10
other passengers that something had
gone wrong. They heard shrill lit
tie soprano "Oh!" burst from her lips
as she looked around appealingly to
the car conductor, horror depicted in
every feature.
With a sudden jerk the car came to
a stop before II had gone ten feet. A
moment later a young man ran up to
the side Of the car where she sat He
raised his hat decOrously as he handed
up to Miss Freckies little tan slip
per--it couldn't have been more than
a three-and-ahalf.
Il beg your pardon, miss" said the
young man. but think you must
have dropped this as you got on the
car"
"Oh, yes; thank you so much, MUIR
INJURED Miss Freckles. smiles and
bushes running riot over tan and
freckles, as she took the proffered slip
per and coyly popped II down where
il properly belonged.
Can ] be OF any further service to
you, MISS" CALAMITY added the young
man, as a daintily gloved hand started
ON the mission Of replacing the va
grant slipper.
"Ohl dear me, no; thank .oa." re-
turned The girl, with the sweetest OF
smiles.
And then the car sped on, leaving
the slipper rescuer the envy Of every
man aboard IT,
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
WANTED IT ovER wIrA.
Game voungster Preferred prastIs
Action In Punishment.

Youngsters are pretty philosoph.
ical," observed Wallace knight. and
then he went ahead to set forth the
point Of view OF small daughter az
his house.
The child was sent to bed early
the other evening as punishment for
some act contrary to rules and regula-
tons.
After she had been tucked IN he'd
for some time and was supposedly
asleep. the youngster called her IA
ther and told him she wished he would
so ahead and spank her and have 1t
over with, instead OF sending her on
70 bed that way, This lying In bed
neyer's going TO make me any better"
Hhe said and good spanking would.
Besides II makes me so mad can't
sleep aud so what's the use Of it?"-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory If the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, It is usually neces-
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance. but also affects the wear
ing quality Of the goods. This trou-
Bile can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch. as 1t can be applied
much Inore thinly because OF its great
er strength than other makes.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
ANNUAL SALES OVER NINE
MILLION.

Good. reliable quality is appreciated
by the smoker. Over Nine Million co.
OOO,OOO) Lewis Single Binder cigars
sold annually. The kind OF cigar smok.
ers have been looking for, made Of
very rich. mellow tasting tobacco. It's
the Judgment OF many smokers that
Lewis Single Binder straight sc cigar
equals In quality the best 10c cigar.
There are many imitators Of this eele-
brated brand. Don't let them fool you.
There 10 no substitute.
Tell the dealer you Wish to try q
Lewis Single Binder.
Lewis Factory. Peoria, H., Original.
crs Tin Foil Smoker Package
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

A glrl about TO be married worries
so much she begins 10 look Ike an
old married woman. In addition 10
worrying about her clothes and coax
Ing her folks 70 give her new outfit,
she sits up TOO late with her young
man, and the result is an anxious,
carevorn look week before the
wedding that cannot be told from the
look on the face OF n woman who has
been married q year or two Look at
the next girl you meet who is soon 10
be married, and you will remark that
she has aged rapidly. ly."-Atchison
Globe.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
roMAN EINps RARE aEAsrs.
Standard OIL Magnate's pauahter cets
African Specimens for Museum.

New York. Or. Hermon G. Bumpus'
director Of the American Museum Of
Natural History, announces that the
museum has received a gift Of excep-
tional value from the daughter OF
John d. Archbold This consists OF
mounted specimens OF the rare bongo.
OF the antelope family, and Of the for
est or giant pig.
In letter accompanying the speci-
mems Mr. Archbold said that while
on a hunting "trip IN Africa last win
Ter Mrs. Armar d. Saunderson, for
merly Miss Anne NJ. Archbold OBJ
tanned the specimens from natives IN
Eldamo Ravine, British East Africa
They were mounted In London.
This is the first specimen OF the
giant pig which has reached this coun-
try. II is about five and a half feet
long and three and half feet high.
has long, black bristles, large tusks
and a long tail II lives on roots in
the forests.
The bongo is an extremely rare ami
NAL, and no other specimen has ever
Deen brought TO this country. II Is
found only IN the dense forest, and a
white man. so far as known, never
has shot one.
The bongo specimen given to the
museum by Mrs. Saunderson Is OF a
bright chestnut. with FIVE white
stripes running transyersely, u white
crescent on the breast and the face
marked with white spots on either
side. The curved horns are about
two feet long
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
A pIscomfltlna MIsnesa.

The following colloquy took place
between Councillor Sealingwax and a
witness who would talk back" You
say. sir. the prisoner is a their
Yes. sir Cause why. she has con.
fessed she was. And you also swear
she worked for you after this con
fession?" Yes. sir Then We are
10 understand that yon employ dis
honest people to work for you. even
after their rascalities are Known "oi
course How else would get as
sistance from lawyerg-Argonaut
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

sheer white goods. In fact. any fne
wash goods when new. owe much OF
their attractiveness to the way they
are laundered this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
~. Home laundering would be equal.
ly satisfactory II proper attention was
given to starching the first essential
being good Starch. which has sufficient
strength 10 stiffen. without thickening
the goods Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at tho
improved appearance Of your work.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

He had gone to the dry goods store
with bit OF dress material which his
wife had bidden him to match Il
am very sorry. sir" said the salesman,
but ! have nothing exactly like this
The very last remnant was sold this
morning
but | must have it, exclaimed the
husband Otherwise. how can face
my wife?'
'lf you will permit me, sir" said
the salesman, Z would venture to sug-
gest that you invite = friend home to
dinner with you"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

Edwin and his mother went for a
walk Sunday afternoon. Coming TO a
tree OF cherries. the mother bent low
limb so that the little fellow could
pick some. Seeing some fine ones
higher up, he begged to be allowed to
climb the tree. "Oh. no" said his
mother, that would be breaking the
Sabbath"
And we are only cracking the Sab
bath now, are we. mamms?" inquired
Edwin n.--Delineator.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

How mary Americans enuneiate dis
tinctly the name OF the town IN which
they live-or Of any other town? The
heroine Of recent linguistic accident
had the excuse. at least. of being
strange TO the English language. She
was German. and lived in Pittsburg,
Pa. She wished to go to Norwalk. o.
The agent gave her ticket to Nor
folk, Va. and she was taken there.
She returned to Plttsburg and tried
again This times he got a ticket to
Newark, \. J.. and had to 90 back
home again With her money gone
and no friends. she would have had a
hard time but for the kindness of a
German painter. When she finally
reached Norwalk. she had spent SEQ in
railway tickets. when but for indis-
tinct enunciation she would have had
TO spend only seven dollars.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
DEAFNESS Cannot Be Cured

by local Applications they cannot reach the dis
eaSed portion OF the ear. There is only one way 10
cure deafness, and that IS BY constitutional remedea
Deafness is caused BY ~ innamed ndtion OF the
mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this
tube n lnuamed you have rumbng sound Inn
perfect hearing. and when Is entirely closed, Deaf
taken and This tube restored 70 Us normal condi-
ton hearing viii be destroyed forever: niue cases
out OF ten are caused by Catarrh. which Is nothing
but an nnamed condition Of the mucous surfaces
We viii give One Hundred Dollars for any case Of
Deafness catisec By caiafrhl THAT cannot be cured
bi Halls Cstarrh Cure. send for circulars. free-
r. J. CHENEY A CO.. Toledo. q.
Sold by Druggists. 15c.
Take ualia Family Pills Tor consflnatinn-
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

Mrs. Berry Brown-Wah did mak
black Berry 'complish desc heah fowls
he's done brought home to his owny-
own bridey.
Mr.. p. B.-Ah buyed EN- in town.
Liza.
Mrs. b. B.-Look heah. Berry, ef
yo's gwine to deceive me dat way
Abs gwine right home 70 my ma
Kansas City journal,
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
TO MAKE CHURCH ATTRACTIVE.
Preacher Wants Theater and Bowling
Alleys Attached.

Chicago "A church with theater-
billiard room, bowling alley, gym
nasium, swimming pool and other
amusement features attached was pro
posed and advocated by Rev. Frank G.
Smith Of the Warren Avenue Congre-
gational church in his sermon.
rs the Christian Religion Increas
ing or Decreasing Its Power and In.
lluence in This Ncighborhood ?" was
the theme OF Rev. Mr. Smiths ad
dress. In course of his remarks he
deplored the present condition Of the
church as divided and unorganized." T"
What could we do in this com
munity or rather what could we not
do, he continued. IF in mile square
OF territory here we had one great in
stitution with it's splendid auditorium
for preaching and lecturing; with an
other auditorium perfectly equipped
for the rendering Of the best things
there are in drama; with its Bible
school department thoroughly equipped
and perfectly managed with its bill
Hard rooms and bowling alleys and
other arrangements for purely social
enjoyment of Young people pnder the
tight kind Of guidance and chaperon-
age? With its perfectly equipped
gymnasium and swimming pool for
males and females It's perfectly
equipped outdoor playground for chill
dren.'
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
Diplomatic Relations.

Jest had a visit from my diplomatic
relations said Farmer Fodderfield.
Your diplomatic relations?f
Yes, my brothers folks from the
city. They're so diplomatic that they
only visit us when apples, peaches.
melons. grapes and sweet taters is
ripe"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

II is proposed by the superintendent
Of streets to have the Chicago thor
oughfares sprinkled before they ara
swept so that the dissemination u
dust and microbes may be avoided.
Another helpful boost for optimism.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
Candid Retrespsctlon.

so" said the young woman. @you
advise me to keep a diary?'
by all means" answered Miss Cay
enne. IT'S good discipline, and yet
soothing to self-esteem There's moth
ing like diary TO convince you that
you aren't near as silly this year rs
you were last"
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
Don't II lar Your

To have a cough that you cant leave
off--even when you go to bed? Put
it away for good by using simmons
Cough Syrup. 1t heals Inflammation
OF the throat and lungs gives you rest
and peaceful sleep.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09
Quite Pertinent.

Author-How would this do as sug-
gesting an illustration OF an adver-
tising slip: He folded her to his
bosom?'
Publisher That ought to make q
good folder.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

About lOO,OOOOOO heads Of lettuce
are raised annually in the iardins
maraicheres of Paris, the greater part
of which is shipped to London and
Cologne during the winter and spring.
after being wrapped in paper and
Grated
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

Shoulder Your Own Miatskes.
You will never profit by your mis-
takes so long as you blame others for
them. - Pascal.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

man isn't necessarily fisherman
just because he is liar.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

Aliens Eoot-Gaae. Powder
For swollen. sweating feet. Gives instant relief The
original powder for the feet. 2ac az All Druggists
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-11-09

It Is only the mistakes OF sther ueo-
pie that are funny.
The Superior times. [volume] (Superior, Wis.) 1870-1912, 1908-07-11
KILLED IN A RUNAWAY.
Wife Of Monroe Banker Dies from In
iuries Sustained.

Madison. Mrs. Nathaniel b. Treat
of Monroe died at the Madison hospital
from injuries received in a runaway
accident on the state university
grounds. Her husband, Capt. Treat,
capitalist and banker, who is former
assemblyman and former member Of
the state board OF control, was with
her and was badly cut and bruised on
the face and legs. While descending
slight incline on Linden drive In
front OF the university agricultural
building, the horses became frightened
because the whifletrees hit their legs
and they started to Kick and run The
driver could not control the horses and
Capt and Mrs Treat sought safety by
jumping The hack was Of the ordinary
closed variety Mrs. Treat jumped
FIRST and struck with heavy force on
the hard macadam roadway. Capt
Treat followed landing 20 feet from
whore his wife lay He rolled over the
Rough stones dozen feet, skinning his
face and hands and knees