The Washington herald., 1908-04-05

Question: I heard a mother say the other day
that she had rathsr see her dead than 30 have
him grow mp with bad manners. You seem 10 be
great sticgler for good manners bur don't you think
that this rather a strong statement?
A MOTHER WHO LOVES HER son. WHETHER
HIS MANNERS ARE GOOD OR BAD.
Answer-Yes. the statement is a strong
one and was meant to be. doubtless, but
it shows no lack OF love on the mothers
part. for it is better, almost. for a lad
to die than TO grow up with bad, boor-
ish manners, for having such he is OF
little use TO himself or any one else. and
is a disturbing element in society. The
prime reason why bad manners are so
Objectionable is because Immature and
seifshness is at the cause Of them. No
really kind, tender, good-hearted, we'll
inteutiOned person can have bad man
ners. his manners may be uncOuth. in
elegant. but not bad Bad manners imply
bad heart. and are shown constantly in
little things. and Oftentimes by people
who are supposed 20 have the most ele-
CANT manners Great talents are not ap-
preeiated by the world at large. by the
person one casually meets. but CVlity.
affablity, and a pleasant and courteous
address are recognized and valued by
say about manners and then, while you
may not cease loving your son when his
manners are bad / venture TO say that
you will do your utmost to see that they
are always good. A friend who IS known
for her admirably bred children. whom
she never seems to discipline, allows me
TO print the following extract from let
ter from her son. who is now a fiedgling
in the diplomatic service. You remem-
Der, dear mamma" he writes. hOW YOU
always insisted on absolute obedience
from your children, what an autOcrat
you were in our home circle and how
you never permitted any one 10 ques-
ton your orders. The thought that I
could disObey YOU never even entered my
head, and ! don't understand Yet how you
compelled such implicit obedience, but I
do remember that l used TO wonder why
was made TO do things that none or the
other boys did, and that often when 7
was sent 10 black boots, that seemed
quite clean, the tears used TO mingle
with the blacking and I often felt foolish
when practicing the little amenities that
was taught to observe when none of my
companions observed them, and more
than one boy got a black eye for calling
me prince and Lord Chesterfield. but
now I understand, and am grateful. and
have swap for you, last go, as we
used TO say at home.
The dOwager MarqUise de F. has been
very kind 10 me since / came here and at
her reception the other evening she beck
oned me to a seat beside her on the
sofa. an almost unheard of honor for a
man of my age, and q mere attaehe.
My dear lad, she said, after we had ut
tered few fOTmaiities, you mother must
be a wonderful woman and l want YOU TO
send her my compliments at having
brought Up such a sOn-bush, that's right.
for il shows you are not an egotist, but
but modest and mOdesty is the greatest
Of all the virtues. ] don't know what's
in that nOddle Of yours. It may be quite
empty. but / have watched you ever
since you came here and / have not seen
yOu do an outre thing. Now that's a
great test for you were suddenly thrown
into an entirely unfamiliar environment
and you carry yourself quite like a man
Of the world, although you are only a
boy fresh from college and you are not
pTig. How did she manage il. that
mother Of yours? Run now and play
with the young people, you have no time
at your age to waste on grannies' But
did not go just then, I sat as long as
she would let me, and retailed her all the
latest gossip which she fairly dotes on
and when I kissed her hand ar going she
gave me a tender little pat on the head
just as you used so often to do. Don't
think I feel cocky about all this praise.
which does not belong to me, but to you
and I am only repeating il because It Is
such a feather in yOur cap and I feel
as I write what an ungratefui and unap-
preciative little brute 1 was TO have shed
tears into the blacklng box when you sent
me TO black my boots. F."
? Question: Is it quite as good form in these
days to have wedding in the afternoon or evening
as at midday Also kindly tell me if wedding is
at night what the proper custem for the groom
attsndsnts absolutely necessary BRIDE ELECT
Answer-Afternoon weddings, the popular
hour is 4 o'clock. are becoming more and
more fashionable, and It looks now as
though the custom OF being married at
noon would be abandoned. It is also per-
fectiy good form to be married at night.
The groom for such a wedding should
wear evening clothes. No. it is not nee
essary 10 have attendants.
g. QaeitiOn: How long is it necessary fer
widow 10 ber veil over her faces And when
is it admissible for her 10 wear white collars and
elfsl
Answer-It is not necessary for her to