The sun., 1908-07-26
A PLEASANT SUNDAY
~ FOR MRS GNAGG
Journeys Up the Hudson to the
Accompaniment Of Mr.. Gnagg's
Reproaehes.

Mr.. GnagG. having taken Mrs. Gnagg
against her desire. on Sunday up the Hudson
steamboat ride. renders the cruise enjoyable
for her somewhat as foliows:
Well, the darned old hooker Of tinder
box Of boat 10 crowded, Of course. Howe
that2 Didn't you tell me It would bel
Well, I'd like TO know what yox knew about
iii But the miserable old tub Of boats
jammed to the gun'ls, anyway, and that's
the point. ] s'pose we'll have the dickens
own time getting seats. Why don't you
come along and not grow there In that
one spot, letting all these toughs and tough
esses walk right over your Or maybe
you'd like to stand up all the way to West
Point and back, chr You grope and mooch
along as II there were million seats hang
ing around waiting for you. And II didn't
manage to grab couple, Of seats--or one
for you anyhow, you wouldn't bother your
head about me-why. you'd be whining
around making man D life miserable.
Here, let's 60 up front. I s'pose your
idea of boat ride is to cit a. far back a.
you oan without falling over the rear rail
swelterins 10 death. Or maybe you'd Hike
10 get q seat down IN the hreroom with
the stokersf III fix that for you II you
insist upon Il. NOT Well, come on, then.
How's thatf There are some seats back
here and may not be any up frontf No,
and there may not be any gold and diamonds
aud things at the end OF the rainbow, but
I'm going TO have look anyhow. Say,
dye think you could pick up your feet just
O little bit and keep little closer to me
IN this mob Of rufiiansf Or have you got
some slinky idea Of getting lost n this
gang Of bullies and 4;
How'e that7 What are you Sh-sh-ing'
about7 You're afraid some Of these tramps
II hear mo and there'll be troublea Well.
III give 'em all the trouble they want,
the buns. oh, you'd hate 70 see me get
into fight. would yonl But you're pretty
blamed willing to hsht with mo yourself
every time I take you out anywhere with
the idea Of giving you good time. amt
your You haveu't stopped picking and
jawing and naeging since We LETT the fat.
and want to tell you right here that that
isn't going to get you anything. wasn't
crazy to come out on this fool expedition
anyhow. but you sat around with such a
hxed up wistful expression In your eye that
I had TO do It. You seem to have an alb
normal craving to rningle up in crowds OF
thugs and iminlgrants like this anyhow.
But there's no chance TO tell you anything.
You know all about II, like everybody else
that comes from Ohio. A mans got o tat
chance to tell anybody from Ohio that no.
body with sense enough 70 last EN- over
night ever has any truck with these Sunday
excursions, when all the hoboes and hobo
esses on earth break their necks TO get on
Tar.is = oo,rIa N an. In r,vnr hero u,,h3
They're In the sum- Well, where'd you
like 'em, In the noon-tell me thatl Per-
haps you'd like to have mo 60 to the skipper
Of this Internal old foul smelling hooker
and demand him TO place you 2 cretonne
the awning and then have Japaness screens
placed around you and the sofa SOS you
could dodge the hoi polloil These seats
won't be ID the sun whom the boat starts,
II II ever does start. Try and Get that
tderonsa sSuy yoas a down y9SS Soa sn
eighth Of . second. anyhow. and give your
face q chance to rest up. Or would you
like me 70 60 over to that bunch Of low
brows and snaS one Of their seats and get
into forty-dve round PIiseaght with 'em
that prisefghting and nothing. short Of
Il ia what you're looking for to-day.
Well, II this isn't the gummiest, rottenest
excuse for q steamboat that ever ! saw!
Doesn't look as II 1t had been swabbed up
genius for picking out the very .measliest
proposition In the way Of an outing that's
to be found on the list. Here am due to
scroonch around on q greasy campstool
for seven or eight hours. and all because
you seemed to be pcssesssa. pos . Of the st strange
two people In all New York who'd be caring
for ride up the Hudson on the hottest
Sunday ever experienced Ia North America
Yep, you doped 1t out that we'd be abso.
lutely alone on the boat and that we'd
chairs right up in the eyes Of the boat. and
that maybe the skipper'd serve US with
cake and lemonade every little while
throughout the trip In honor Of our being
the only two passengers. and all like that.
But t. what's the 5 use ,sd q sacsi1f wess re
best Of II. You don't hear me bowling
Look at that bunch q droopy. stringy.
perspiry women Juggling babies all over
the place. will your There ought to be
ging young 'uns along on trips like this.
And listen to 'em how'll Now they're all
taking it up. Fine lot of caterwauling
we're In for before we ever hit the New
York wharf again. And ugh! Look at that
demented woman feeding that gummy
same timel What's the matter with these
anyhow Oh. you've got me into
a fne old trap, / can see that. Why didn't
you take me Summing down on the East
Side and be done with TT A Sunday after
noon In Chinatown would be Paradise COM
pared to this. And TO think that at this
minute might be lolling around In my
pajamas In my own nat, taking 1t easy
like human betnel
There goes that Internal steamboat
Of leprous looking dago
hddlers and harp whanger whose mitts
don't look az II they've seen soap and water
for forty years. Oh, there IL goes OF course
I'm Afraid TO 90 Home In the Dark
I can see that you're tiokled to death that
they're playing that because I hate II.
n thoee Internal Black Handlers come shak-
ing their collecting hat along here I'll give
EN- bat In the eye.
Say. what are you glooming about now?
Who's been giving you the chance this time
to fx up that sad and sweet martyr look on
your faoef Huhf. It's your trip, isn't it2
You absolutely refused to pass the Sunday
In your own home, didn't your Well then.
here you are, right In the element and en-
that you love. and you re sitting
back trying to pull that st. Cecilia stun
on mel
It wouldn't hurt any at that IL you'd
sort OF reach down and give your nose
furtive dab with q powder rag. It's az
shiny as hunk OF salt water taffy. How's
thatf You don't care how you look In this
orowdf Well I care how YOU look then