New-York tribune., 1908-04-04
TIE TALK OF THE DAY.

--ta cor,naretfveIv POOR showing Of the big tQr-
bfne Cunard flyer Mauretania on her last passage
from Liverpool caused much speculation IN snip
ming circles as TO the ability Of that steamer and
her sister shin the Lusitania 10 live up 10 the
speed requirements for the high government SUP
sdv AS both steamers must maintain IN 4alr
weather an average speed OF 241s knots TO earn
the full amount OF subventon. II was declded 10
mt them in drvdock for a general tuning up Inc
effect OF the process has already shown on the
Lustania. which after leaving drydock' DroAe
the record for the best single days run making
697 knots in twenty-fOur hours Some phenoneIlal
records are expected this summer, as both steam
ers will be pushed to their utmost in the most
favorable weather conditions of the year 1t has
been sal on good authority that the Cunard Line
never intended really TO Try out the Mauretanla
and the Lustsnia until this summer
Can any little boy" asked the new teacher
tell me the difference between lake and an
ocean," r-,z --s,.. ,.e-sio, had
been learned from experience Lakes. are r9uch 9l
peasanter swallow when you fall IN -lit-f BITS
Two men met in a subway train. stared, gasped
and then shook hands They both stood Never
saw Won II this hole before. What for Sold your
y77cbines7 pawned your horses asked one The
other flushing shook his head. Doing 1t for ex-
ercse and 10 give the machines and horses rest
NeU experie7co. too. You see. I'm not hanging on
a strap. Every spring. when my yacht goes into
commission I vahbIe about the deck Ike land
I1ibber Il takes me several weeks 10 get my sea
legs Riding in The subway keeps me in trim
sway with the train. brace IN for the stops, sharp
curves and jolts When spring comes I'll he IN
shape FOL the boat
Not penny" replied the rich man. coidy;
money is not good for the poor.
Well responded the applicant lust pTeIend
that you have a grudge against me.'-Pick- Me-Jp
A foreigner who is d guest at one of the large
uptown hotels had read an account of the dinner
given by THE t1reeters' the nancy which the
hotel clerks organization will he known and
wanted to know how the American clerk differed
from the "Greeter' in European hotel Il could
give YOU list Of differences yard long said
the New York hotel man, but one is enough. for
if shows how absolutely unlike the two function
sries are. In Europe the man who sreets YOU and
makes you comfortable expects You 10 pay MN
FOR his bows, salUtdtions and smiles He expects
his tip the same our walters, beilboys. cham
bernnaids and porters. Our hotel clerk stands on
higher IeveI-thc house pays him. possibly not
enough. but he in the tip class, and there's
the difference
Ny exclaimed the ministers VIE. Il never
saw the BOYS IN ms street n[ls 80, So "tIGm rS
now and I'm sure they're members Of our sunday
"&h, I see" remarked tie Rev. Mr.. Wise last
Sundays lesson about David and Goliath. "-
Philadelphia Press
4 person i'm Louisiana who slips banana
peel and falls through q plate glass window IS uot
liable foI damages TO .he window. This is the
cgmful ting decision Of Judge IN Baton Rouge
II appears that an inofensive citizen. walking
along business street. SLtiprG on u pttluS OF
the sidewalk The cItzens feet went up. his head
down and his elbow through merchants plate
glass window. Suit brought for the value Of
the window. and. after several months OF utiga-
ton. the final decision is against the merchant
LoIa-And do you really love better than
Ifr2
Jack-Better than single iife-yes.-C Chicago
News.
1t appears from reports in the London papers
that an epidemic Of influenza, or grip it is
known in America has spread to the horse popu-
lation OF So serious has been the spread
OF the disease among the Quadrupeds that the
army veterinary department has taken precau-
tons 10 check It. Experiments have demonstra ted
that remedies commonly prescribed for men, such
q quinire pyramdin, aspirin, autipyrin and the
like are Of for animals Alcohol was found
To exercise injurious effect. But black coffee.
vaIerisu, camphor sugar were each found TO
be less beneficial
Would YOU call that orators eioquenre gift?'
Not al all He always charges al least 80
cents admission. ''-W WaShiuEtou Star.