Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-10
Does Uncle Joe Swearp

OOCS OuC16 JUG 0WcdAG
Does the Speaker wave his arms and
get red in the face and denOunce the fill
ibuster? Does he say that not blinkety-
blank democrat can have hippety-hop ia
vor as long as the dot -dash-hyphen pin
wheels-frecracker filibuster IS continued?
Not noticeably so. He just hooks one long
Illinois finger through the nigh buttonhOle
of said favor-seeking democrat and tells
him little story.
Says he: There was once a philanthro-
pist who had gobs and coolies and hunks
of money. His income was so big he had
to employ three secretaries to keep up
with 1t, and he was pretty nearly pestered
to death. So he decided TO give most of
it away, and with this idea in mind he
stopped the first man he met and offered
him a million dollars. To his astonish-
ment. the man spurned the suit case full
of greenbacks and insisted on seeking
lawyer and having the grip transferred in
proper legal form ratified by the courts. ap
proved by the President and passed upon
by The Hague Tribunal. Finally, becom-
ing angered, the philanthropist led the
stranger up a dark elley, hit him in the
head with coupling pin. knelt on his
chest and stuffed the million dollars in
his pocket
And at this point the Speaker usually
stops and smiles broad smile, and the
democratic applicant puts his handker-
chief back in his pocket and leaps for the
corridor. hope vanished from his breast,
approaching that if the republicans passed
democratic measures now with the demo-
cratic host doing everything possible to
delay the game, they would be in just
this position of knocking their opponents
down in order to stuff their pockets with
favors And they're not going to do that.
The debate on the floor yesterday be-
entertaining If not Illuminating. Mr..
Payne confined himself to repeating the
statement which he has made on various
other occasions-that the republican ma
jOrity intended to do business in It's own
way and in its own good time. and would
pass just such measures as it desired, and
would assume no responsibility for what
it accomplished and for what 1t left I'M
done Yesterday when Mr.. Payne relieved
his system OF this photographic homily
his voice took on plaintive tone. lie
appeared apprehensive that somebody
within sound of his voice might not take
him literally. His vocal cords sounded
all the notes from the whisper of unre
Quilted love to the yowlngs of prosecuted
Fido preceding the tin can. The republic
cans applauded dutifully. if not vocif-
erously, and the democrats laughed.
Williams Was Happy.
Then Mr.. Williams Of YazOO City
climbed TO his feet. He. too, was phono-
graphic. According to him. the majority
leader and his colleagues were acutely
unhappy every time they were driven-as
in the case of the presidentiaily urged
model child labor law-to pass a good bill
And he made II plain that from the demo-
cratic viewpoint the only time republi-
can ever did vote for a praiseworthy
measure was when he was driven to il
by fear self interest or prodding by the
noble, fearless. unseliisb patriotic. whole
souled and cultured gentlemen who make
up the minority of the House of Repre-
sentatives. And when he got through the
democrats applauded and the republicans
laughed.
But this did not disconcert Mr.. Williams
He WAS very much tickled over the pas
sage Of the clid labor bill. and con
descendingly told everybody that reward
would follow. It. did Both sides got
their Informal adjournment candy.