The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1908-01-24
BIDDY'S
BLUM DERS

|
Van Swells were going through the
visit When she had mentioned the
circumstance to her maid that naughty
individual had announced her own i'm
mediate departure. Hubby had had to
get breakfast that morning, the house
appeared to have reached the climax
OF chaos, and the guests were to ar
rive at four o'clock.
Mrs. Youngwife had been at the
telephone all the forenoon trying to
get help. If only temporarily, but even
that seemed impossible on such short
notice. She would have TO take the
company to the hotel after all, and
Dick would be so disappointed, He
was proud of his coy little home and
its mistress.
The doorbell rang. Mrs. Youngwife
hastily dried her tears, showed the re-
mains of the afterthe-theater supper
under the davenport and scrambled
into a becoming gown.
Place, mum, the intillyeince loidy
tould me as how you'd be wantin
woman who was ushered in.
Il do want one badly. Can you
come right away"
Biddy could come at once, and after
the usual preliminaries, she was duly
installed. She did beautifully the first
day. Though inexperienced, she was
honest, clean and willing, and Mrs.
Youngwife was beginning to congratu-
late herself upon securing such
treasure. Her complacency received
something of shock, however, when
they all went down to breakfast the
next morning and found the melon
served on soup plates.
why. Biddy, | told you distinctly to
put it on the small fruit plates" she
said, reproachfully.
did ye? Belize We did," replied the
girl. 81 jist misook fruit plates fur
soup plates. Sure, darlint, We wadn't
Be blamin' pore Biddy fur O. troife
loike thot. That's nawthin' to worrit
We at all. Emmy wan en- ate fruit out
ov soup plate, but eff twas t'other
way about, an we had t ate soup out
ov a fruit plate ut might be bother
some, bein' they're mostly so shaller."
There was such laugh at this that
the young housekeeper decided to
throw Formally to the winds and
make feature Of Biddy. This was
done, with so much success that when
the guests took their departure they
declared it to have been one of the
jolliest visits they ever had made
Biddy's opinion of her blunders may
be gathered from her conversation
with the girl next door.
ITS puzzlin', Maggie" she said, eth
way they say wan thing whin they
name anither Whin they ask fur
chaze we niver en- tell whittier they'll
be after havin fish, flesh, er fowl. Ye
on'y en- be sartin it's not chaze they're
wantin'. Afore dinner the missus
Gums into the kitchen an says to me,
says she:
" Can you make a cocktail, Biddy?'"
Sure, num- says l.
How do you make emf says She
81 generally roasts en- says l,
thinkin' she'd be mainin' SOON kind av
a bird.
Cocktails aren't to eat. They're
to drink says she.
60 it's soup you'd be havin' me
made wild EN-, is ut?' says l. Soon
does like 'em best that way
But wad we behave ut, Maggie,
cocktails is a kind av a poonch we
make wild gin an SOON Italyian Ticker
that looks like lie nd tastes like var F,
nish. Now, who'd be thinkin' they'd
Civ ut tn name av bird?
AN along this afternoon tn missus
says: 'Biddy, says she, 'whin we sarve
the five-o'clock tay, bring in thin def
cups without handles yell find in the
sideboard.' l whit t tn sideboard an
seen SOON ould cracked cups like
thin me an Mike Civ Miss Dooligan
whip we cum t Ameriky. Sure,
thinks /, she can't be intindin' tn
qualerty t see thin ould things and
l got out SOON cunnin little white
cups that sets up on standards like,
an took 'em inter tn parlor wild tn
tay Whin tn missus seen 'em she
says: o, Biddy, those aren't fer tay.
Those are aig cups. Take 'em back
an bring in tn blue vans
Faith, an how wad | be KNOWN
they wuz aig cups? They wus nawth-
in at all like an aig. An bless we, the
company didn't know the difference
thimselves. Wan ov thin whit { tn
winder, suddint like jist thin an that
took tn attinshun ov the ithers. Ef
tn missus'd jist kept still they'd
drunk their tay an niver knowed
nawthin' wuZ wrong.
But what bates me, Maggie, Is tn
sinse OK ut all. What fur do they ate
mate fur twinty minits an thin salud
fur tin? Why c'nt they take a bit o.
mate an thin a bit o. salud, an thin a
bit o. salud, an thin bit o. mate
agin, like me an Mike does? Ef tn
creator'd NV intended thin { be ct
squirt he'd a-growed first tn mate
nd thin the salud like strawberries an
paches.
But there's many a man In tn