The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-07-02

sWS
Now Willie does his level best
AMI pines for greater tasks.
oh, mother, can't I help you more7"
Eight times n day no asks
N Is not strange to those who know
Why Little Willie worketh so.
Iis almost time when he must buy
His crackers-it Is near July!
All. mothers perfect boy at last.
Who goes unbidden off to bed:
No more with sobb;ng, cringlng air
He meets his father In the shed!
An, Willie, why not grow like this
And MI your home with rosy bllss7
For you arc Just as good as Gle
The first three days OF hot Julyl
Rag Time.
II always makes a girl suspicious
when Tho fellow asks her to burn his
letters.
A qrick-tcmpered man should never
own gasoline engine or q summer
hot-water heater.
II Il n
Know the snow will come again
When days arc cool and nice,
But think. ere then how much we'll nay
For soda-pop and Ice!
Some men arc like bed OF mas.
turtiums-you have to keep picking at
them all the time to get the best re.
suits.
The country has been saved again
We know who The candidates are and
the color Of the gown Princess Alice"
wore.
Shopping by Telephone.
Last week. being very busy at the
Office. ordered the following goods by
telephone from one of Chicagos dc.
partment stores:
One wbeclbarrow.
Ono rake
One spade
That's short horse soon curried,"
ruminated as plunged into my daily
grind
That day the wheelbarrow went
astray, but the rake and the spade ar.
rived and my wife paid for them.
Tho next day the wheelbarrow came
also another spade and a second
rake,
Ny wife was away and the maid
paid for the entire delivery
When ! arrived home, discovered
the wheelbarrow handles had been left
out In the rain and had warped. One
handle pointed to high heaven, the
other down TO gehcnna. lnasmuch as
the gardener Is normal man with
arms OF equal length. he could not use
the barrow.
| telephoned the store next morning
to go out and get the implement and
replace It with good one. also ad.
vised them they owed me 9S cents,
which they agreed to refund on the
price OF a wrench and hoe which |
ordered,
Tho next day the second wheelbar.
row was delivered, but IL was not even
distant relative Of the one | had or.
dered. The gardener and ! decided
U was wheelbarrow anyhow, and we
would keep II for fear of more errors
The wrench didn't come on this de.
livery. but finally II did arrive with the
hoe-and the wrench was too small
! carried II back down town and sent
the office boy to the store with the
receipts to secure my refund OF 9S
cents and TO change the monkey.
wrench.
The store wouldn't refund the 9S
cents because they claimed the rake
and the spade had not been returned,
DESPITE the fact that they had been
scnt back the following morning after
their arrival. Ten minutes before this
ultimatum, the complaint department
had notified me the store would return
the money by the boy.
Next the boy comes back with the
old wrench because the store wouldn't
return the 9& cents and the new
wrench cost more money lin the ex.
change) than the office boy had with
him.
About this time the wires began to
burn on the telephone. Gradually
worked my way up TO somebody who
thought he had some authority. Then
the wires melted entirely-and--
and
My wife says ought to know bet
ter than TO buy Of that store anyhow.
p s,--I haven't got my 9S cents
yet--but I've had at least that much
experience,
600
Wasnt Afraid.
A woman's courage Is of most un.
certain quantity. A friend OF mine
has two beautiful horses, While driv.
Ing with HIS wife, one OF them be-
came frightened and ran away. Never
since that time has his wife set foot
In the carriage or the barn, but last
week neighbor induced her to hold
D, swarm of bees that he had Just cut
from tree, while he climbed the
fence and took them from hor. And
she WASN'T BIZ scared!
SYsrr.,,M!,sAs.- :.,,!,