davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07
MAILARDs IN A FARMYARD.

Among the odd things to be found
within hailing distance of Wago Man
sion is flock of mallard ducks-the
real mallards, such as are pictured on
posters and in game journa1s-at peace
and contentment among the other
ducks belonging to J Franklin Trow-
bridge, of this place.
Strangers would att cursory glance
scarcely see anything unusual in their
appearance, but there is vast differ
ence between the mallards and the
domestic variety. There is differ
ence in size, in color and in carriage.
Several years ago Mr.. Trowbridge
secured some wild duck eggs and had
an old hen hatch them out. The
eggs were found along the Illinois
River, where it is a common thing to
raise mallards at home and use them
as decoys for other wild ducks.
AS stated, Mr.. Trowbridge got them
hatched, and now he has the third or
fourth generation of ma1lard ducks.
They wabble about the premises as
sedately as the home ducks. In fact,
the mallards appear to be thoroughly
at home in the Trowbridge yard, and
they seem content, too. From the
first Mr.. Trowbridge has kept their
wings clipped, and even at that some
times, when a flock of wild duck
comeEup from the river, the Trow-
bridge mallards hear the call of the
wild quack and squeak and Autter
and carry on at great rate, eager
to join the throng in the air. Except
for these occasions the domesticated
mallards remain "pert" and act as
any sane, good, old York county duck
would do.-YO'k (Pa.) Gazette.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07
his LUCK.


Madam" began the man with the
red nose to the farmers wife, "you
see before you learned man in hard
luck. In fact, lam one of the worlds
greatest linguists."
Is 1t painful?" she sympathetical-
ly asked.
"You don't understand, madam.
A linguist is one who can talk the
languages. Now, 1 can converse
with you in Latin. I can tell you
the sad story of my life in Greek.
can go to the lecture platform and
lecture in any language known to
man."
"Dew tell I" she gasped.
eyes, madam; all the languages
are spoken huently by me. Were
you German / would talk German
with you; were you French we would
converse in the language of that
vs. sr,-.sa.,ss ~-.-----s-a-
think from my talk that I was a ma
tive of the land of the dons."
II want tew know Mebbe you'd
jest as soon ask fur piece Of pie in
Latin 7''
Certainly, MADAME pluribusun-
ion semper idem de pumpkin"
"Waal, the idea p exclaimed the
amazed farmers wife. AN how
does the French language sound 7"
Beautiful, madam. When I say
In French, 'Parie yous rouget noir on
sausage?' 1 mean, Isn't it lovely
day?'"
"Good lands p
'The same sentence In German
would be 'Ach, budweiser und der
klempstein is oudt.' >"
"Waa1, waal, waal How sum
folks dew run tew smartness Will
ye take dinner with us?"
Certainly, madam
cts real kind of ye to be so oblig-
in. My son will be hum from col
lege any mint, an he writes that he
knows all them languages. You an
him can talk 'em all over an let pa
an me listen to ye. Would ye like
to step over to the wash house an
wash up fur dinner? It'sall ready"
The great 'linguist" heaved a
heavy sigh, muttered something about
fool sons being around when they
were not wanted and started in the
direction of the wash house.
But he did not return. n.-BohemiGn.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07
For "THE UNION. "
WHAT Is LIFEi
By HENRY ouARLEs NICHOLSON.

What is life Childhood thus replied:
Life is the highway angels tread,
To guard my wandering steps and shed,
In dreams, their radiance round my head;
Life is an endless day of summertide.
What is life Youth, bouyant, made reply:
It is limitless domain,
Whence springs Ambition, Honor, Fame,
Ny aspirations long to claim;
Life is to me bright, unclouded sky.
What is life? Manhood, staid, replied:
It is Times Cycle, in whose span
Encompassed are the hopes of man;
For Love, Wealth, Happiness we plan;
Life is toll for rest at eventide.
What is Life? Old age, tott'ring, sighed:
It is 6dreary. desert waste,
Whose paths awhile we blindly trace,
And o'er their blighted surface haste;
Life is q dream of Hopes that, with'ring, died.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07

A coLoRED woman of Alexandra,
Va, was on trial before magistrate
of that town charged with inhuman
treatment of her offspring.
Evidence was clear that the woman
had severely beaten the youngster,
aged some nine years, who was in
court to exhibit his battered condition.
Before imposing sentence, his hon
or asked the woman whether she had
anything to say.
"Kin I ask yo' honah question ?"
inquired the prisoner.
The judge nodded afirmatively.
"Well, then, yo' honah, I'd like to
ask yo' whether yo' was ever the pa
rient of a puffectly wuthless cullud
chile"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07

A POET what has been known to
tell the truth recounts this story of
his little daughter.
Her mother overheard her expound-
ing the origin of sex to her family Of
dolls.
"You see, Children, she said.
"Adam was man all alone and was
very lonely, so God put him to sleep,
took his brains out, and made nice
lady of them"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07

Actions speak louder than words.
They have to in order to be heard
above the boasting.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07
Second National Bank
TOwSOHI, Md
SAVE YOUR EARNINGS

always possible portion earnings
earnest desire to do
systematic work of saving by starting account with the SEC
OND NATIONAL BANK of Towson
Deposit and pay your bills by check
book returned checks will make record for and
tell the of earnings and expenses
Eventually you will and increase
bank
pleasure depotors and
help you all W. Start with
THOMAS W. osEy9 ES Esss SUo S szs
-:DIRECTORS:-
THoMA OFFuTr, w. c. LoNoNEcKER.
EtAaEp coox VIM Ale
HARRISON CHAs r. KNOX, NOAH {. OFFuTT
loLNI veor W.. mn v.
Jan 1y.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07
"wHO LAUGHS LAST" ETC.

There IS never time for the harsh,
grating laugh that finds amusement in
the mistakes of another. The Detroit
Fee Press, admonishing a man in
that town who is disposed to laugh
at the errors of his acquaintences,
writes
He is a very we'll educated man,
too, aud is especially good In the Ian
guages. Not long ago he was talking
to mild-mannered little woman who
had asked him a question about a
French sentence. He asked her to
repeat it. She did so.
"Ha, ha p he laughed. "Ha, ha
haw, haw, haw p And the little
woman blushed.
"What is it1" she asked, much en-
barrassed.
"Haw, hawl I-haw, haw-was
laughing-at your very bad-haw,
haw-pronunciation-haw, haw-"
"Haw, haw, haw !" she interrupted
suddenly. "Haw, haw ha, ha, ha,
ha !" And she kept 1t up as loud as
she could until he began to get red in
the face and feel embarrassed.
''What Is it 1'' he exclaimed when
she gave him the chance.
"Haw, haw !" she responded up
roariously. II was laughing-haw,
haw-at your very bad-haw, haw-
manners-haw. haw Good morn
ing" And she turned her back on
him and hasn't spoken to him since.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07
And then we all went home.

WHEN man goes out to buy coll
lar he comes back With collar and
perhaps necktie or two. When a
woman starts out to buy collar she
returns exhausted with new silk
waist, a pair of gloves, some skirt
binding, a cake of soap, a paper OF
pins, some window curtains, sewing
machine and refrigerator.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07

YEAsr-sYou know the good book
saws you must love your neighbors."
"Crimsonbeak-"Yes, but that was
written before the days ofphonographs
and lawn mowers you know"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07
BE WON his CASE.

Charles O'Conor and James W.
Gerard were once opposed to each
other in an important trial In New
York. When Mr.. o. Conor produced
his first witness Mr.. Gerard said !:
"Mr. O'Conor, what do you propose
to show by this witness 7"
Mr.. O'Conor told what he wished
to prove.
"It is useless to waste the time Of
the court and jury in proving that"
said the other 81 admit It,"
Mr.. O'Conor then called his next
witness, and the same question and
answer were repeated. 81 admit 1t, !"
said Mr.. Gerard ; "don't let us
waste time" Another witness began,
and Mr.. Gerard interrupted: "I ad-
NIT all you say you are going to prove.
Let us hurry along"
With a rapidity which took
O'Conor's breath away all the facts
which he had accumulated were ac-
cepted wholesale. Then he rested
his case, and Gerard, for the defense,
called no witnesses, but at once began
his address to the jury.
Gentlemen of the jury" said he,
"some of you know me personally. 1
have no doubt those of you who are
uot personally acquainted with me
know me by reputation. Now, gen.
tlemen, you know that if my client
had been guilty of any fraud, i should
be the last man on earth to admit it.
I should hide it from you. should
coveritup. Ishould fight, fght-and
I know how to fght-against the
proof of its getting in evidence. If
my client had been guilty of fraud, do
you think I would admit 1t 7 No no
Never never never p Here he
looked at his watch. Gentlemen,
excuse my brevity. have an en-
gagement to dine to-day, and my
time is almost up; will detain you
no longer" He won his case.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07

AT least Eve had the satisfaction
of knowing she was the only girl In
the world.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07

"WELL, my little man." inquired
a visitor pleasantly, ''who are your"
"I'm the baby's brother p was the
ingenious reply.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07

"W1L you buy me drum, drand-
mammal"
mo, dear you would disturb me
with the noise"
"No, wouldn't, granny; I'd only
play it when you're asleep"
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07

THE average woman Is good act
ress off the stage.
The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-07

FARMER (to medical man )-If you
get out my way any time, doctor,
I wish you'd stop and see my wife.
I think she amt feelin' we'll. Doc
tor-What makes you think sof
Farmer-Well, this mornin' after she
had MIXED the cows, and fed the pigs,
an got breakfast for the men, an
built fire under the copper in the
wash 'ouse, an done few odd jobs
about the house, she complained O.
feelin' tired-like. I fancy she needs
a dose o. medicine.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-13
Authors and First Nights.
rom the London Globe.


The first night with authors IS viewed
with different feelings. which are recorded
by Paris contemporary. Sardou's nerv-
BUSINESS was well known. Dumas fills
was never able To preserve his sang-f-oid.
As soon as the curtain rose*Dumas pere
would betake himself to a restaurant and
dine from as many courses as his new
piece had acts. His son reported on the
success of the piece. AT the first repre-
sentation of "Toussaint Louverture'' La
MARITIME found his work so tedious. that
he went 70 cafe and read the papers.
Ra'Zac. when he produced "Ressources de
Quinoia. spent the day in selling tickets
at a rate higher then at the box office,
and reaped Il fine return.
Paul de kock, seated i'm the orchestra,
we also read. protested against his piece,
and made so much noise that his neigh
bors demanded silence. Casmir DelaVigne
remained at home Alexandra Sonnet
went 10 he shaved when Jeanne d Arc
was produced. The barber had finished
one cheek. when the author cried: Stop.
Here are 30 sous. Go round to the thea
ter and see II they hiss or applaud the
piece The barber returned saying 1T
is success monsieur. They applaud
! "Since ii is success. replied the author,
shave the other Scribe appeared in
the best OF spirits. and encouraged the
actors, but al the end he became nervous
and tore his handkerchief with his teeth.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-13
FAMOUS SWISS SKATING RINK
LAKE AT DAVOS Is CROWDED
WITH TOURISTS.
Four of Worlds Five Speed Records
Made on It's Smooth
Surface.

The most famous skating rink in all
Davos, Switzerland. where smooth. safe,
icy surface of thirty-one thousand square
yards Is attracting thousands of tourists
who love the sport. OF the five world
records in speed skating four of them
were made at this celebrated rink Thou
sands of English tourists spend their
winter in Switzerland and the number
of americans there at this time is far
above the average.
For three full months in every year the
icy surface of this wonderful rink is
oiled with flying skaters, who seem to lose
all thought of time and care in the de-
lightful enjoyment of this pastime Each
succeeding year seems to give stronger
attestatiOn of its popularity.
Nor is this the only sport of this IA
NOUS region of mountains snow and ice
Skiing has in recent years taken such a
hold upon the winter visitors that il is
now almost national sport and the
DaVos authorities are feeling called upon
to make special provision for the com
fort OF those who indulge in IT, Skiing
is a unique method of Swimming over the
snow on wooden runners. generally SIX
to eight feet in length. but only as wide
as the foot with the toes curved sharp
ly upward to render progress and speed
toSiVi. me idtliltS Will WHICH SKI run
ners can get from place TO place in spite
of the miles Of snow and ice between
Is commencing the sport TO those who
perhaps might never otherwise be tempt
ed to try its utility or its pleasures
The DavOs authorities are not unmind-
full of this fact and they have recently
announced that the club hut on PiZ
keSch Will be Kept open and we'll sup
piled with fuel and comforts for the
benefit of the skiers. The kesch district
is growing in popularity every season
especially with those patrons of the skis
who undertake the more strenuous
-onuntain tours. Th" kesch hut. which
belongs to the Davos section of the
Swiss Alpine Club, gave shelter TO PSI
persons during the past summer
Winter is always sportive and festive
time in Switzerland, and its attractions
are not confined to skating and skiing
alone.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-13
"Goes" of Whisky.

From the London Chronicle.
Forty goes of whisky had been con-
sumed by the licensed victualler, and still
he was sober; at least so he told the city
coroner. Goes is a common term in
this connection. but it lacks the full ap-
propriateness to the situation of it's Scot
fish equivalent in the story of another big
drink told by Dean Ramsay. 1t was at
d party near ArbrOath. held to celebrate
the reconciliation of two farmers who had
long been enemies. When the party at
last broke up, at morning hour, the
penurious lady of the house, who had
not been able to sleep a wink for anxiety,
called over the stairs to the servant:
How many bottles of whisky have they
used, Betty"
Il dinna ken. men, was the answer:
but they've druncken six gang o water"
To the poor girl, who had to gang to
the we'll for the qualifying fluid, these
were goes indeed.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-13
FEW LEFT HANDED BARRIERS.
Can't Have Their Chairs in Middle
of the Line.

.'Of course. Ieft-handed persons are
scarce anyway" said the man who carries
his habits of observation even into the
BARRIERS chair but they are mighty
scarce among BARRIERS. In fact, ! have
seen but two or three in my experience.
But you are sure to notice it when
YOU do find one. He does just as eff
cent work. but it is the way he does it
that attracts your notice.
The barber as rule stands at the
right of the customer while shaving him.
making little trips to the back and to the
left only when necessary. Naturally, l
suppose. the ,eft-nanded barber does just
the opposite: he stands most of the time
at your left
''For that reason you won't find left
landed barber In the middle of a line of
LarOerS. His char has to stand at one
md or the other so that ne won't bump
into the right handed man next to him
Like most left-handed persons his
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-13

right hand is less clumsy than the left
hand of right-handed persons usually is.
He shaves you with either hand but
prefers the left. He Strops 4 razor just
as right-handed man does. however,
and that is about the only point of SINH
larity''
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-13
FREE
SAMPLES.

Don't fail to call and secure
samples of our great offerings
in Overcoatings, Suitings and
Trouserings. We are glad to
give you samples whether you
order or not. Call or send us
your address and we'll mail
them to you.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1908-11-13

comedian, Ben Hendricks. will be seen
AT the Calumet theater, South Chica-
go. in the greatest of all Swedish-Amer-
Jean comedy dramas. "Yon Yonson,"
Mr.. Hendricks will be seen in the title
role which he created several years ago
and has made a national reputation
for himself by his clever portrayal of
his character.
Mr.. Hendricks true conception of
the character his perfect dialect. his
natural impersonation of the good ma
tured, hearted, honest Swede. have
placed his Characterization of Yon
Yonson" side by side withs Rip Van
Wrinkle of Joseph jefferson, the Uncle
Joshua of Denman Thompson, the Ma
thaniel Berry of James A. Herne. the
Music Master of David Warf1eld.
He has created a new character
which has been found to possess dis
tinct characteristics, so original. SO
enirely different from the many other
stake personalities which had become
so familiar to play goers that the OPP
portunity to witness his performance OF
'.Yon Yonson" is embraced with gen.
uine pleasure Ben Hendricks career
of ten years in this line of work has
been a complete success and will be
for many seasons to come.
'Yon Yonson" comes to the Calumet
theater Sunday, Nov. 10, for a four
days engagement.
h On Thursday, Nov 10. the famous
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1908-11-13
.HUMAN HEARTS.

Human Hearts" the meIodramatic
success announced at the Towle opera
house Sunday matinee and night, ap-
peals to every class of play goers. 1t
deals with story that teens the heart
interest from beginning to end. Tom
Logan, an honest young blacksmith in
the Arkansas Hills, falls in love with
and marries a reformed confidence
woman. The dull country life soon
pals on her. She accidently meets her
former lover and pal" Without any
just cause they conspire together to
ruin Tom and kill him if necessary.
The woman calls him while her accom-
plice conceals himself. The father of
Tom responds and is mistaken for the
blacksmith. He is fatally stabbed by
the ambushed man. Tom. coming out
to see wheres his father is, is accused
by the adventures and her pair of
the murder He is finally sentenced on
that charge. But his friends ultimately
establish his innocence and he is re-
leased. Retribution overtakes his
villainous and murderous accusers. No
play of its kind possesses a stronger
plot or more sensational incidents. The
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1908-11-13
DINING ROOM FuRNITuRE.

In some Of the latest designs of din
ing room furniture English oak is a
good second TO mahogany. The finish
of this wood is If anything darker than
ever, and none but an expert would
dream that it was a near relation to
ordinary or golden oak. which just now
gets the cold shoulder.
In sideboards. which by the way are
lower than ever and in tables. which
are square preferably, and in chairs,
the most popular designs of which has
a medium high rather than a very tall
back and almost square seats, the fin
ish is distinctly plain, although the
angularitg Of the mission design has
given place to curves and rounded
edges
NEW CENTER TABLES.
The variety of drawing room tables
seen in one place indicates that the
center table of ordinary make has had
its day. The newcomers have straight
spindle legs and are octagonaI and OBJ
long Some of the most fetching have
hinges and six or eight inch wide drop
leaves at either side. Others have gate
legs, which means that the. table may
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1908-11-13
STUDENTS MISSIONARY LEAGUE

Macon. Ga Nov 1S-Mercer uni
versity and Wesleyan college are act
ing as joint hosts for the third annual
convention of the Georgia Students
Missionary league which began three
days session today. Nearly every edu-
cational institution in the state has sent
representatives to the meeting. An
attractive program has been arranged.
consisting of papers. addresses and dis
cussions dealing with the spiritual side
of college life
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1908-11-13

sented at the Calumet theater, COM
mencing q three days engagement. This
play is unlike other western plays pre-
sented at the South Chicago play house
and is entitled TO rank with Arizona.
Texas. Missouri, and plays of like
character. 1t will be presented by an
excellent company and the patrons OF
the Calumet are assured a first class
comedy drama at popular prices.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1908-11-13
y Feminine Fads and Fancies ~

be folded up. enlarged or reduced IN
size and made to answer for more than
one purpose. A variety built with a
shallow drawer and also with deep
pocket at either end under folding
lid may be used for afternoon tea,
bric-a-brac or books.
WHEN IN DOUBT, USE BUTTONS.
It looks as though the shops would
have demand for the millions of but
tons they ofser this season. The rule of
trimming is. wnen in doubt, use buttons.
They are put up the back of sleeves in
panels from wrist to shoulder in
groups of three and four lines.
They are also put up the back width
of the fiat skirt in about FIVE rows and
they are covered with the frock ma
terial or with satin to match or har-
monte.
DEFY THE WEATHER.
The time has long gone by when il
is necessary for a woman to give VI
any of her charms on a rainy day Dull
colors and sensible materials are nc
longer called forth by weeping skies
Satins and silks are now rendered wa
ter proof and there are water proof
yeIveteens of the corduroy variety
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1908-11-13
MEETING OF PEDAGoGUEs.

Sharon. Pa, Nov. 13-There was a
good attendance at the opening here
today of the semi annual meeting of the
school superintendent and principals of
western Pennsylvania and eastern Ohio.
The sessions will continue over. tomor-
row.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1908-11-13
Common Fault.

The average young man worries too
much about getting his salary and not
enough about earning it.-Atchison
Globe
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1908-11-13
ON THE STAGE

serious element is mingled with comedy
forming a combination that never faes
to touch a responsive chord in the
hearts of play-goers,
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1908-11-13
"MoNTANA.y

If one vho has never been to Mon
tana would go to see the play of Mon
tana" as written and played by Harry
d. Careys company, they will not only
be able to get a correct and detail
knowledge of the country and it's peo-
pie. but will really learn something of
American history. that cannot be found
in books. Montana" presents most
powerful story of the real west and its
people in all the true light; cattle
punching; ranch work and all that goes
to make life on the plains, is reals
tically and correctly portrayed. George
Dozlenn is seen in the leading role of
Jim Graham and is supported by a
company of fifteen players. AT the
Towle opera house. Wednesday matinee
and night, Nov 18th.
The Lake County times. [volume] (Hammond, Ind.) 1906-1933, 1908-11-13
SINGLE LARaE FLOWER.

On many gowns that do not have any
other kind of trimming there is often
one large flower made of Irish crochet
with several long pendants.
These are sold separately in the
shops. They are placed on the front
of the bodice or one on each sleeve at
the wrist or at the back of the belt.
Simple as the trimming is it is quite
effective.