The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-01-03
HUHOR or THE DAY

| HUAOR OF THE DAY
say" she asked after reading the news
from the czar's troubled Kingdom what
II think replied her husband. ''that
ing door mat .S-cathoiic Standard.
Knicker-what Is your idea of model
BockerIone by which the waiter won't
be able to bring you change for his tip
New York Sum-
watkins. remarked the ,,,1 physician.
But" responded the patient, think OF
the auto-dodging you've got to do!
Couldn't you recommend something less
violent ?''-Washington Star.
Mamma-why, Bobby. why did you come
me for SO long to let you take your lunch
con to school with you. and Just TO numor
put ssu up nice ens Il s sedny
sion.-Cleveland Leader.
what is there to see in Philadelphia"
well, there Is the mint.
''will they let you go through it7"
yes, but not the way you want to-
Nashville American.
Doctor. how can ever repay you for
your Kindness to me
Doesn't matter, old man. Check, mon
ey order or cash. "-Tft-Bits.
stella-Did she give a farewell dinner to
BeilaNYes. She isn't engaged yet. but
the cook is going to leave.-Harper's Ba-
zaar.
so you find Socialism much on the in
crease in Europe?'
"Alarmingly so. Why, every time our
motor ran over a peasant they made as
much fuss over It as If 1t really mattered.'
Baltimore American
Congressman (sternly)-You seem to for
get. madam, that there Is such a ward as
coSgre s aS Wifs s0nsra there? why
isn't It funny how jokers do creep into
things?-Puck.
Miss Gettingon (archly)-1 hear you are
thinking of matrimony, Mr.. Mccoy.
Mr.. McCoy-Mef Say. what do you take
Miss Gettingon-Oh. Jack! For better or
for worse, of course-but this is SO sudden.
Cleveland Leader.
IF you refuse me-" said the young man.
IT shall blow out my brains
the girl thoughtfully, and yet it would
be a good Joke on pa: He says you haven't
any. you know."-Philadelphia Public
Ledger.
Disguised Wife-Say, niggah. cher sence
FOUND a de house. Doan yo eber feel p emmy ny
ambishion?
Lazy Husband-Ah feels ambishion wen
Abs sittin' round hyah, honey; but Jes .
soon 8 All stahts ter wo'k All gifts dis
couraged.-Judge.
cousin o. mine. He had a great habit o.
walkin' in his sleep.
OF, o,Tool Q. :. :. dent ,I, tell mea Can't be
o'Brien-cured Of it7 shure it's the
maxim of him; he's In the police force
Here's a firm advertises for genteel
not afraid f Of good one whnE
the qualifications e 81 Land an that Job" 49,.
There are some verses I wrote" said
the innocent young man laying the paper
just what you think they are worth"
But I have not the authority to give
What tina saey psS the ss
| tor, not a magistrate. London Opinion.
rss esf 90 asked the sas
Eight o'clock tomorrow evening" sad
being so awfully solemn about it. you
know. Tn the clown and she's the lady
bareback rider."-Chicago Tribune.
He was a poor man, but a contented
one. Santa Claus came to him and said:
What do you want, my friend?"
Nothing" he replied
And Santa Claus was SO pleased that
he gave it to him and passed on.-Judge.
| A true friend is one who never lets on
that he doesn't believe you know what
you are talking Observation-Disclosures Post.
| "Why do babies cry, anyway
| Don't you think a sight OF the finished
product is enough to make them weep"
Nashville American.