davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
Gentlemen Of the Road.

am very much afraid that a
good deal of the romance which has
gathered like halo round the
names of such men as Dick Turpin
and Claude Duyal and the rest of
the knights of the road is to be
traced to fertile imaginations and to
booksellers on the lookout for sen-
sations. Turpin and some of the
Others perhaps did few rather
pleasant things in a generous, open
handed way, but you couldn't rely
on them. After all, they were not
in the highwayman business for
pleasure.-Fry's Magazine.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
Know He,d KIIIed aome.hIne.

A certain young gentleman, an
amateur sportsman, went to the
highlands for a "shoot," One day,
with rather white face, he called
the keeper to him and said' ~ say,
keeper, are all your heaters here ?
Do you mind counting themP"
"Yera woel, sir" replied the keep
f dyes, they're all here" he con-
tinued after counting them.
care you quite sure" said the
sportsman anxiously.
eyes, sir; Ah'm certain"
The gentleman heaved a sigh of
relief. "All right" said he, "then
behind that rock down there you'll
find o dead roebuok l"-London Tit
Bits, ..s s......
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
lawyers BIG FEES.
Payments That Would Have Startled
Webster or Rufus choate.

Several days after congress
bought out the rights of the French
Panama Canal company group of
Washington correspondents entered
the Office of the late John Hay, sec
retary of state. They found him
puzzled to the verge of bewilder-
ment, and they sympathetically ask
ed what was troubling him.
civilian Nelson Cromwell has
just been in here" Secretary Hay
explained. "1 mentioned having
heard that he was to receive fee
of 2,OOO,OOO for winning the Pam
anna case.
Il don't know what my fee will
be- Mr.. Cromwell told me, and it
does not matter much. 1 already
have more money than 1 know
what to do with
"Only one man ever told me such
a thing" unused the secretary of
state, "and that was Andrew Car
negie. When you gentlemen of the
press came in was wondering what
it would feel like to have more
money -than-one-knew- what
CO-QO-WlCnl ana lawyer mas
it! What would Daniel Webster or
Rufus Choate say to that?"
What would any of the shining
lights among old school lawyers say
to the wealth and power that have
come to score or more of present
day corporation lawyers in New
York; How would a fee of half a
million dollars for two weeks of
work, such as tho steel interests
paid James B. Dill, strike them?
What would they think of the $780,
900 which William d. Guthrie got
for breaking the Plant will, or of
the $2oo,ooO paid Joseph H. Choate
for single argument that the in
come tax law was unconstitutional,
or, again, of John e. Parsons as the
recipient of 100000 for drawing
a deed, or of incomes from 5000, 900
to half million year which are or
have been paid without protest to
other master counselors Il? - Broad
way Magazine.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
An Indianant Denial.

The principal of school was
talking with a father about his boy.
"By the way, Mr.. White, l have
made a discovery about jerry. He
is ambidextrous."
Mr.. White, with rising indignd-
tion, replied: FsI don't see how that
can be. He amt never been ex-
posed to it. Besides, he was yacci-
mated last year. We battle him reg
liar every week, and his mother al
ways makes him wear a little bag
of assafddity tied around his neck.
Some of the other boys has been
lyin' on him" 80 - -.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03

Mrs s L Bowen, of Wayne, w
Va, writes: II was a sufferer from
kidney disease, so that at times l
GOULD not get out OF bed, and when
L did could not stand str0ight. 1
took Foley's Kidney Remedy. One
dollar bottle and part of the second
CURED me entirely" Foley's Kid
ney cure works wonders where 9TH
ers are total failure. For sale by
all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
PIunsed In tho Dark.

An old country gentleman, return
ing home rather late, discovered a
yokcl with lantern under his kitch-
en- window, who when asked his
business there stated he had only
come accounting.
"Come a-what?" said the irate
gentleman.
@A-eourting, sir. rs courting
Mary"
"1ts lie! What do you want a
lantern for? 1 never used one when
/ was young man."
"No, sir" was the yokel's reply.
81 didn't think yer Fad, judging by
the missis."
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
FORTY SIXTH YEAR.
TIPPFI1T'S.

The greatest bargains and the largest stock of wall papers,
houses and will do we'll or better by you Pay no %
9 TO paper e @
need, no less and pay for what you use no more @
Fine skilled sober woren hangers and that
up do your work promptly cheapy correct
You should stock of Lace curtaies u.s. en-
bracing all styles and quality from the cheap pairs at o 70
the handsome goods for parors and bed from
acknowledged and headquarters for these goods and we
sell prices Others pay for these goods where they ouy from
dry goods jobbers
Window shades all grades, from the Felt spring rollers
at cloth 25cs that Others selling 35cts on
the finest grades in oil and linen we are xsePng s @
get what you when want it at liPPets
carts beauties styles manufactured BY the best
Carpets rugs lnoeum, oil cloth, mattngs from
the cheap China goods at cents M up tho ces tine a
See our Sultana Carpets at 35c.
Our6 #. Japanese rugs at $I.48
Our Japanese mating rugs at 75cts'
onr lace curtains at 68 q8 48 per pair, without doubt
worth from Ias to $500 per pair any place 70" 60
oak oak ps9iosf pafIo sands sahas st goss Sss S'''0
Oak chifioners $s,9S
Fodna Iron couches and beds including
$500 to SO
Kitchen cabinets all makes and prices !. e....
Sofas couchs Davenpors, bedroom suits, Parlor stands
combination book sectional book cases
Fine bed lounges and couches, SO 98
poles trimmed complete, in mahogany oak or white
See our cotton felt special price for days
only, $1,000 worth regular $Iso
We are we'll equipped in the Furniture and Undertaking
business carry large complete Stock and always
depend getting just what you when you come after
we own our own Funeral both white
and black Skilled licensed embalmers Our prices have al
lower than you could the When
Anything in this line give us call and we will have
the opportunity showing you that Gust halt cheap
Tppett We would like that party cut our prices IN
two. We always prepared calls promptly and
good night day, if calednot otherwise + our services
are needed YOU send wordwe will come to
your house uninvited with lie upon lips, by stating
that deceased had made special etc. nor have we
Doctors or others in behalf agents solicitors
for money political Tppetts goods always right
you depend what they tell false impressions or
INTERPRETATIONS.
always welcome, Call and our large and gen
era line goods Headquarters for porch screens and
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
Rendx For All comero.

The passengers were suddenly
startled by q shower of rice that
fell from the brides parasol when
she took it from the rack. Tho
bridegroom, dark, stalwart chap,
observing the smiles, placed his arm
about his blushing bride and then
faced the passengers, with the fol-
lowing remarks:
"1 reckon there amt no need for
me to say we amt been married
long, but / can tell you all one
thing-you don't want to smile any
more than's perlite, for she's my
violet, and Pm her sheltering oak,
and weighs 205 pounds. -Succesa
Magazine. a
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
ouadrupod. rha. Lay EouO.


The salesman as he wrapped up the
eggs conversed politely.
'rTherG are quadrupeds that lay,
ma'Rm." he said.
'"That lay eggsT
eyes. They are mammals. ma'am,
too. Their home Is in South America.
their nAmOS are the ornithorhynchuS.
or duck billed platypus. and tho echid-
ma. or porcupine ant enter. They are
the lowest mammals known"
"Reallyf'
~Oh. yesI Tho duck billed platypus
lays two eggs Mt a time. But the
echidna lays but one egg. which 1t ear
ries in q natural pouch beneath Its
stomach-there's an idea For the hen
there-until the kid echidna. so to
speak, In Matched out"-LOs Angeles
Times.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
Novor Too Young to Learn.

There is ono small New. Yorker
who is being brought up in tho
way che should go, She is young
woman of perhaps three years, and
she was riding with h1r father IN a
Sixth avenue "L" carft the other day.
She slipped of the parental knee
and insisted on standing In tho
aisle.
"Catch hold of the strap, Pussy
said her father. She raised ono
chubby hand obediently and held it,
as high as she could. The straps
were not more than two or three,
feet above it. .
"That's right" said the father.
"Get used to it in time. New
York Tribune. -
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
Carnival planulaoa Stick.

Fleas. birds and animals painted
In green on the faces of scores OF
revelers as dlsguises for carnival at
Las Palmas. Canary Islands. won't
como off and exports say never will.
A chemist named Alonson. who did
the work, was almost lynched, and 80
victims have sued him for damages.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
WR Ward, of Dyersbure. Tenr

W R Ward, of Dyersburg. Tenn.
writes: This is to certify that /
have used Foley's Orino Laxative
for chronic constipation, and it has
proven without a doubt to be a
thorough practical remedy for this
trouble, and 1t is with pleasure I
offer my conscientious reference"
For sale by all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
consump,lves Made Comfortable.

Foley's Honey and Tar has our.
d many GASES of inoipient oon.
sumption and even in the advano.
sd stages affords comfort and re
lief, Refuse any but the genuine
FoIey's Honey and Tar, Sold BY
all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
True Wisdom.

Wisdom is habited in the pIainest
garb, and she walks modestly, unheed.
ed of the gaping and wondering crowd.
Her secrets are revealed to the care.
full, the patient and the humble
Bishop Spaldlng.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
You Should Know This.

Foley's Kidney Remedy will
oure'any oase of kidney or bladder
trouble that is not beyond the
reach of medicine. No medicine
oan do more. For sale by all drug.
KistR,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
An Interview.

Wheeling Telegraph.
Ool. Thomas O'Brien = Loui'
Bennett ia ono Democrat in Wes'
Virginia who. in my opinion, thu
Repu blioans GOULD not beat for the
governorship. He is man among
men. His ability and rugged hon
esty is recognized wherever he il
known He is capable, thorough.
ly, in every respect to conduct the
office of governor 80 as to make
him the pride of the state. H
could Garry the state withou.
trouble, in my opinion. l regard
him as the logical candidate. Lei
Us have Bennett for governor. The
idee of my being suggested is ap-
preoiated, of course, but | desire
to say that [ have no aspirations
in that direction. 1 would not bt
candidate, receptive or otherwise
[ want to say that under no oir
oumstanoss would 1 become oan
didate. Louis Bennett is the man
favor and he is the man for whom
[ will use my influence and hope
to use my vote.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
A oneatlon al EaIth,

"Ef de Bible said dat 1t wuz rat
tlesnake dat swallered Jonah. I'd be-
Iieve It," said the old colorod deacon.
but. thank de Lawd. doy wuz no rat.
tlesnnkes in dat day!''-Atlanta Con-
stItution.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
a Dio AZ Him.

Glow do you do, Mr.. Pompusr' said
Chumley.
"Really," began Mr.. Pompus frigid-
lY, ".you-er-have the advantage OF
me-"
apparently have. Your manners
are as bad as you'd have, me believe
your memory to he.' - Philadelphia
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
InFerenee.

"Have a cigaretter
mo. sir. The cigarette Is the orlgi-
nal fool killer"
$50 you're afraid of 'em. ehr-pa,
troit Free Press.
ftOo Hawl
Jones-Right2 I'm sure I'm right
III bet my ears on It'll
Brown-Steady, old man! Don't go
to such extreme lengths!- Judge.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
Ro charItabIo.

When a man comes around boasting
that he has never failed to do any
thing that he has undertaken, don't
ask him embarrassing questions con-
corning the nature of his undertake
inEs.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
Comment by Democratic Leaders of
the State of West Virginia.

Hon John o PendIeton writes
as follows in the Wheeling Regis
ter:
To the Editor of The Register:
Sir-I noticed in your paper a
few days ago that Hon. Louis Ben
nett, of Weston, Lewis county. had
considered to be candidate for
Governor. Since then in talking
with many Democrats, Ifound that
they were much pleased with the
news. Mr.. Bennett is Democrat
of the old school, belongs to no
faction. absolutely owns bimself,
and in the language used by Hon
a. w. Campbell at the Republican
Convention at Chicago in 1880, you
may say that "he carries his sover-
eighty under his hat" He is also
man of great integrity, mos,
pleasant address and is possessed
of ability of the very highest or,
der. He is genial and courteous
in manner, large land owner and
connected with many enterprises.
ne would be safe man and would
treat every interest in the state
with equal and exact justice, Civ
ing to all equare deal. Years ago
as speaker of the house of dele
gates he won great applause. and
while modest and dihdent, he has
always been found in the front
ranks of those who were battling
for the good of the state and the
people.
To my own friends would say
that feel under deep obligation
to him for earnest and effective
help during my own political races
If the Democratic party oan nom.
mate him it will not be ashamed
and will show that it deserves a
sweeping victory.
Very respectfully,
JOHN O. PENDLETON.
Wheeling, w. Va.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
A nnnn.r.l.

she called her little doggie Birch
Whene'er she called him In.
You see. she called him Birch because
His bark was very thin.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
In oreenIand.

"Are you able to sleep all through
the nightl"-
mo; have to get up about once a
day clock ~ Denver NeHs-11mas-
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
AIwava There.

Trouble Is about tho only thing that
can invariably be found where one
looks for 1t.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
tauruiunl q a. alna..

Tho terrapin grows ocarcer. -
Likewise the guam and deer.
But the presumptuous ground hog eFovv,
More prominent each yoar
-Boston Port
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
A VIaihl. prooe

Young wife-Am very dear to you.
Young Husband-Yeg, Iovey; just
look at these Feceipted bills-BaIti-
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03
sIoht and l1oarino

Though they're blind to the faults 0R
AS come sznug people eiaan
Their ears keep getting LONGER
Through listening 20 the Gar1e, u - =
-Ca&hatta f1G1r1slg6 ~ t.1anaoa, 2
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-06-03

Wasted Effort.
Force without judgment falls by itS
own welght.-Horace.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1908-12-18
event, for it will be sight worth 60
ing miles to see

The Tribune does not think that
Governor Campbell wants to send
rangers or militia to San Antonio, to
compel the people there to respect
and obey state laws-especially clos
ing of saloons ON Sundays. Governor
Campbell is conservative, thoughtful
man, who inclines to prudence in his
ways and ideas. He does not want
any unnecessary sensation in Texas,
or to humiliate any community. He
has no grudge against the Alamo City
because its democrats discredited
themselves, their party and city by
failure to support him in the late cleo
ton. He had right to expect their
support. But the San Antonio episode
is but an incident in Governor Camp
bells life and he is too big man to
let the incident have any weight in
shaping his course toward the city
when people seem to be a law unto
themselves. But it may be said that
if he were to take drastic measures
to enforce obedience to law in Bexar
county, public sentiment in Texas
would commend hinl-even if he had
to keep militia regiment camped
there for a year. For San Antonio
has gone to point where forbearance
ceases to be virtue-Waco Tribune
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1908-12-18
cARELEssNEss ExEMPLIFIEb.
American People Neglect Their O Wn
Interests In Sending Mail.

Every year the dead letter office in
Washington holds sale of articles
that have been instructed and which
bear no clue to the sender. This year
the number of packages to be dis
posed of thus to the highest bidder is
S7,S44 Allowing a wide margin for
those that might have been original
ly addressed correctly, but which fail
ed to reach the addressee before he
had moved to some other address, let
us say that eighty thousand persons
misdirected packages during the fst
year. And please remember that lis
does not include the misdirected par
cells which bear return card and
which go back to the sender Isn't
that a monument. and a pretty big
one, to our carelessness?
The postoffice department is a good
deal of a scapegoat. 1t is obliged TO
bear many burdens that-ae=uo bsSs
to it, and for which the haste and
lack of foresight of the general pub
lie are responsible. 1t takes the
brunt of thousands of false accusa-
tons and ordinations, but it has it's
day at the annual sale. The sale of
packages will always be an
arraignment of the pub
lies heedlessness and neglect of its
own interests. Since we are all so
fallible, let US not kick about the falli-
bility of the postoffice, but endeavor
to employ more care in our own af-
Post.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1908-12-18

Hats off to the American farmer
The value of all agricultural products
in this country for 1908, according to
the estimate of Secretary Wilson of
the agricultural department, was ST.
77S,000,000 This is S290,000,000 great
er than in 1907. Mr.. Wilson has been
secretary of agriculture for twelve
years and in his report he says that
'momentous changes have occurred to
agriculture during this period. Fea-
lures of great import have been in
troduced; forces have become opera
tive whose results are already enor-
nous, with the certainty of cumula-
tive and accelerated future conse-
farmers work and harvest have had
the benefit of more varied knowledge
and more effective intelligence His
life and living have undergone trans
formations which increasingly make
the farm preferable to the town. The
elements of the gigantic movement in
agricultural instruction and improve
ment, of the unprecedented uplift of
the farmer and the betterment of coun-
try life, are specified with much tech
nical and scientific detail, covering
many pages, and then follow tangible
evidences of their results ''-Denison
Herald.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1908-12-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

An Industrious person seldom has q
busy tongue.
Look out for the man who looks out
for himself
Sunday piety will not make up foI
six days Of depravity.-
One song in the heart is better than
two in the next flat.
The woman who has ceased to weep
is no longer young.
There is nothing flatter than flat.
terry that does not flatter.
Why isn't a cook who stuffs tur,
keys and chickens taXidermist?
Once in a great while a woman gets
Il hat that actually looks like one.
If woman is unable TO preserve
her complexion she begins TO pickle
it.-New York Press.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1908-12-18

The epistle was brief and to the point
and the sheriff said the jig is up and
everything must close on Sunday and
the Sunday law will be rigidly en-
forced She Sheriff is suffering to-
day from an attack of Indigestion and
could not go to Austin as the COVER
nor suggested for an interview with
the state executive.
Everybody here admits that the
state and county officers have been
very deficient in the exercise of their
duty from the criminal court down to
constable.
Sheriff Thomas has been in office
for sixteen years or more, but never
before has he figured in Sunday clos
ing or the enforcing of any of the
state saloon laws. always passing this
up as the duty of the city police de-
partment. The saloon men declare
the corner grocery saloonist and the
breweries have brought this reform
about by their fighting the saloon laws
against the will of the majority of the
people.
II ..iis-lsssassaier tthfe-theatres and
motion picture shows, as well as sa-
looms, will be closed next Sunday and
all yiolators of the law prosecuted.
With the county officers opposed to
any such move the public is anxious
to see how they will prosecute vio-
lators of the law.
Governor Campbell has given the
sheriff to understand that he has to
enforce the law or surrender his COM
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1908-12-18
WHEN YOU WERE YOUNG.

Old Age, in the firelight's rudy CLEAN
At dying day,
You smile, amused, at Loves young
dream
And foolish way,
And yet, grayheads, you'd fain repeat
The song that's sung,
For ah! this foolish love was sweet,
When you were young.
You scott at his impassioned eyes,
And burning speech
OF hopes and dreams beyond the skies
Far out of reach,
And yet, grayheads, you'd fain recall
Fond words that rung,
For ah. this foolish love was all,
When you were young.
j. r. Stidman in Appleton's.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1908-12-18
WRIGHT'S NEW STUNT.
Sends AeropIane to Height of 24o
Feet and Sails to Earth.

LIE Mans, France, Dec. 17.-Wilbur
Wright, the American aeroplanist,
made a most remarkable flight in his
aeroplane yesterday. Instead of ris-
ing gradually, the machine shot up
like rocket to height of 240 feet,
the aeronaut then permitting it to
drop about so feet, at which altitude
he stopped the engine. The machine
glided down smoothly and gracefully.
landing about three-quarters of mile
from the starting point Members Of
the English Aero Club who were pres
ent became wildly enthusiastic over
the splendid performance.
Palestine daily herald. [volume] (Palestine, Tex.) 1902-1949, 1908-12-18
Cough Caution

Never, positively never poison your lungs. uyou
cough-eyen from simple cold only-you should
always heal. sOothe, and ease the trftated bron.
chial tubes Don't blindly suppress it with .
Supplying poison. It's strange how some tfnnR7
finally come about. For twenty years DR.. Shoop
has constantly warned people not to take couSS
mixtures or prescriptions containing Opium,
Chloroform, or similar poisons. And nova little
late though-Congress says Put it on the label,
II poisons are in your Cough Mixture" Goodl
Very good II Hereafterfor thisyeryr Mothers,
Cough Cure. No poison marks on DR.. Shops
labels-and none In the medicine else it must by
law be on the label And it's not only safe. but IL
Is said to be by those that knowft best. truly
Inarkable cough remedy. Take no chance then,
particularly with your children. Insist on having
DR.. Shops Cough Cure. Compare carefully ths
DR.. shoop package with others and note the
difference. No poison marks therei You can
always be on the safe side by demanding