davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

teal charitable work. always under
Christian auspices.
"The motto of my institution would
be: Amy man is worthy of food when he
is hungry; of warmth when he is cold,
and of clothes when he is naked Every
dollar we receive would be expended to
alleviate human suffering In this awful
era of midnight bread lines and idleness
! among the industrial masses. and not a
penny should go for theory
x X X X x
Zone thing has been discovered in the
Department of the Interior slower than
its elevator. This is the process of get
ting copy Of the beautiful magazine
published there under the enhancing IT,
tie of The Patent Office Gazette said
weary-looking man the other day. Il
wanted to find out something more about
the new Maxim noiseless pistol which is
to be such priceless boon to highway
men, and I made the fatal error Of going
to the patent Office to get it. First l was
told to walk a block to the office of the
chief clerk, where a copy would be given
to me- / walked the block, but found on
arrival that the chief clerk had nothing
to do with the matter. one OF his secre-
taries pushing me forth upon journey
up stairs and half a block down a corri-
dor to the room of clerk who was said
to have the distribution of the magazines.
When I finally made that port and had
told the clerk what I wanted he went to
a cage and asked a man confined therein
to hand out copy of the last Gazette.
The man handed out copy week old.
but the clerk did not discover this until
he had been told three times, when he
managed to get the right one from the
cage. AT last thought I have it.
But such ineffable bliss was fated not to
be mine. The clerk went back into his
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

pie, especially the English kind. were
quick to get to the Sonora country. Judd
allowed them to sink hole In his patch
of dirt, and then they came to him with
a first offer of $500, 600 spot cash. Judd,
he took it. They'd have given him $500. :
COO or $5OOOOO just as easily. for Judd s
plot was one of the incest pieces In So
nora-they've taken millions out OF it
since-but Judd Bisbee was all for the
quick stuff. and he bit on the first bid.
They gave Judd $4,000 in gold and a
check on the Bank of California for $780,
OCO. Judd slushed around the Sonora
camp with the boys for three or four days
before starting for Los Angeles. A comic
opera company was stopping at the Los
Angeles hotel when Judd got there. Judd
foregathered with the troupers and their
manager spun him a hard luck story.
Then Judd bought UP the whole theater
at which the comic opera outfit was due
20 play during the next week and had the
announcement printed in the Los Angeles
papers that the show FOR the week was
going to be free and on him. The theater
was packed and damned with hilarious
no-pay audiences every night during the
week while Judd sat in box, tossing
handfuls of gold at the funnyists at the
stage who happened to tickle his soused
risbles. At the wind-up of each act. every
night. Judd would rise in his box and in
vite the whole audience to the bar at
tached to the theater, and the big raft Of
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

had succeeded in looping off considerable
of its former yellowism-promptly invited
this risen cockney gentleman to edit his
New York newspaper for one day. taking
entire charge. and putting his ideas as to
how an American newspaper ought to be
edited into execution. The newspaper
thus turned out, called tabloid edi-
ton. may have. approved itself to the
Englishman as a fine piece of Journalism.
but it was regarded as bald, Out-and-
out joke by practical newspaper people.
Well, during the past few months quite
a number of the hitler kind of French
Journalists. most of them editors of one
sort or another attached to Paris dailies,
have dropped into New York-probably
one imagines, because they have heard
that it was a pretty soft thing for little
Paris editors to drop into New York.
Every mothers son of them has been
given the freedom of the columns of sew
eral of New York's newspapers that usu-
ally are adverted to as leading" news
papers, and they've all plunged ahead and
told all about the drawbacks Of America
and Americans after having been in this
country on the average, as long as three
days.
And these little French editor persons
have all been real peevish with us. so
they have. Nothing that We have or that
we do or that we look like suits them.
Our skyscrapers are ridiculous. Our
women are overindulged odalisques and
harridans, whose culture is a mere We
neer and whose Wanted beauty Is the
great canard of modern times. Our men
are slaves to business. boorish. thick
headed. mere grubbing. more or less ami
mated dollar signs. And SO on. Level
headed New Workers of both sex read
this drivel from the pens of the little
French editors and wonder greatly there
at-not so much at the nature of the
stuff" printed, but at the curious grovel-
ingness. so to put it. of that section of
the New York press which invites these
inconsequsntial persons to air their views
of people and of peoples institutions
with which they have only been into
actual contact for a matter of seventy
two hours or the like. These level headed
ones seem to recall the fact that American
journalists visiting Paris are not beseiged
and beseeched to spread their views all
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

business
Nothing. of course. could be done with
a fellow who talked in this fashion. and
he was permitted to go his way without
any further expostulation on the part OF
his fellow voyagers. some of whom, solid
business men of San Francisco, had
known the young mans father The
young man quit the game only when the
steamer pulled into Honolulu harbor. He
was then $4,000 to the bad.
Sorry to've dug so deep into you.'
said the shark to the mark before tn,
general debarkation to look over Honolu-
III. If you say so. I'll split the pile will
you'-he was probably still wondering
whether the pile of checks on the Homo
lulu bank would be cashable.
Just YOU wait till / holler before you
let out any cracks like that replied the
bone-headed but rather game young mar
from Butte.
"The sharper found, upon going to the.
Honolulu bank. that the checks were as
good as United States Treasury notes.
And the man who identified him at the
bank and thus enabled him to cash the
checks was the lunkheaded Butte youth
from whom he'd practically stolen the
neat pile Of money. This was simply the
bravado, of course Of boy who refused
to believe 1t possible that anybody could
do him in a game of cards.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

well, there wasn't enough soldering at
the Los Angeles post for a whole string
Of days and nights to give the post a mill
itary air. All Of the groggery keepers in
Los Angeles were instructed to give the
soldiers everything they called for. no
matter what it was. AT the wind-up Judd
gave every soldier ofSthe lot an order for
a $50 suit of clothes 1t was a long time
before any of the soldiers had a-chance
to get their measures taken for the civilian
buds, for as they drifted back to the post
in great decentralization during the next
week or SO they were nearly all of them
clapped into the guardhouse. &
''One of Bsbee'S pals was shot in Los
Angeles dance hall by Mexican girl, and
Judd visited the man at the hospital. He
felt so sorry for the sick people he saw
at the hospital that he left $1,000 with
Los Angeles florist. with instructions
that wagon loads of flowers should be
carried to every hospital in town every
day until the 5000 should be spent. RE
hired a special train of parlor and buffet
cars and took a gang of about 200 o. his
hangerS-on to Monterey, where he enter
tanned them for two weeks. This expedi-
ton cost Judd something close to $4,000
1.-TWO months. almost to day. from
the time that Judd hit Los Angeles he
woke up in his suite at the Los Angeles
hotel one morning with just SEQ left. AS
he had made it a strict practice to pay
his immense hotel bill every night be-
fore turning in, he didn't owe the hotel
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29
Correspoudence of The Star.

Special Correspondence of The Star.
NEW YORK, February %, 1908.
&" HE open war now Impending be-
tween New York's operate i'm
prssarios will no doubt keep the
town amused for some little time to come.
A little momentary lull now broods over
the situation. but with the early arrival
here of Gatti-CasaZza, the Milanese gen.
tIeman who is TO step into the shoes OF
Herr Conried by taking charge of the
Metropolitan forces. it is expected that
the war balloons will be rocketing up and
the signal lights fiaring. and then the
town will be RECALLED with a series OF
whOop-d -doings such has not been
sprung in the operate realm for a long
time.
Affairs of this sort inevitably simmer
down to gambling propositions for the
lookers-on in this town, and the fact must
he recorded that the shrewd ones are
already giving odds that Oscar Hammer
stein the founder of the Manhattan Opera
House, will win. Other considerations be-
sides the commonly known fact that Os-
car has the winning habit seem to have
veered the betting around i'll this way.
The main scrap is going to De over the
singing services of Caruso. This Caruso
person. by the way. must have been born
under the luckiest star in the astrological
constellation. In very serious mess only
a little while ago which got the New
York authorities after him, and which
surely threatened to cut short his singing
career on this side of the Atlantic he
now finds himself in a position of alto
gether uniqu. power as the chief bone OF
contention between the two great con-
tending operate forces. He is, of course
tied up with the Metropolitan outfit with
a contract. calling for $500 per night
still 20 run three years. But contracts
held by the other fellow never were
viewed as documents to be much afraid
of by Oscar Hammerstein, and he has
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

complished runners after him. But jude
never was so soused that he didn't tur-
down these overtures. 7 reckon, pard,' h.
told faro bank runner who tried to nail
him for a little play just to pass the time.
that I can slough it off fast enough with
out nudgin' up agin another mans game
This yere game that I'm playin' now 8
my own. and so I won't have no holler
a-comin when I git through and wake
up without a stack O whites
after blowing the comic opera bunch
Judd next conceived violent sympathy
for the hor1es of buns with which Los
Angeles was infested at that time. He
made arrangements with a crafty caterer
to have the buns fed. The caterer pu'
up huge eating tent and a smaller cooF
tent on lot on the outskirts of town
and contracted with Judd to feed every
bum that swung along at the rate of s.
a day per man for three meals. judo
provided scores Of kegs Of beer every day
FOR the buns. who f1ocked to the eating
tent from all over California and by the
thousands. Big detachments of polio
had to be sent out to keep the buns L.
order This bum beneyolence of Judd's
lasted for fifteen days. when the polica
closed it down on account Of the dis
orders and depredations of the beer,
hordes. Feeding and beering those sew
eral thousands of buns for the fifteer
days dented Judd's roll to the tune OF
almost $4,000
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29
YOUNG woman government clerk

A YOUNG woman government Gle rk
~ came nearly being a victim Of her
= own fears on the crime wave one
eve ming last week. Together with another
young woman. they had made a call upon
a mutual friend. They walked together
To the second ones home. when she re-
minded the first young woman that she
had promised to Soan her book
Come in said she. until run up
stairs and get it for you
1t was then II 80 and the street on
which they lived was deserted.
oh, l won't come in," said the first
young woman, starting to walk briskly
up and down in front of the house, at
the same time glancing timorously in DIFF
ferent directions of the street to see II
there were any hold-up men lurking in
that immediate vicinity.
The book had been mislaid and it took
several minutes of patient walking up and
down in front of the house until the
second young woman appeared with 1T.
After this they talked for several more
minutes in front of the house.
Il wonder who that man can be- said
the first young woman, beginning to get
startled. as a well-built man crossed the
street below and walked leisurely. staring
hard at the young women from the other
side of the street. He has been walking
up and down the street and watching me
from that farther corner. I shall not run
a risk, but shall wait until those three
women coming down the street get here,
and then 1 will walk with them to my
home"
The young woman lived only two blocks
distant. You don't mind If / walk down
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

"Judd's next bit of lavishness broke VI
discipline at the military post near Los
Angeles for couple Of weeks or so. Judd
drove out to the post one day in hacl
with a bunch of boon companions that
he'd picked up-there were fifteen
twenty hacks filled with them behind hi
carriage. They happened to hit the pos
while guard mount was going on, and tn
evolutions of the soldiers made a hi
with Judd. When guard mount was owe
he had word passed around that he'd be
at the canteen for the purpose Of enter
tanning all hands of the soldiers. Whe'
the soldiers. who knew about Judd. rush
ed to the canteen. Judd couldn't see tn
beer idea at all, except as a starter. HI
staked one of the ambulance men t6
hustle to town for a wagon load Of cham
payne. and. by taking a circuitous path
the ambulance man managed to get til
wine inside the post gate and thus to tn
canteen. The whole post had a cham
payne bun on before the canteen sergean
had to turn the box on them by an
nouncing that the afternoon closing hou
had arrived.
Judd was deeply concerned over this
situation. He felt as If 1t in some way
reflected upon his brand Of hospitality. So
he got up on chair and invited all hands
of the soldiers to join him down town.
They received the invitation with a hip
hip. Judd met them down town. and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

cent. On that morning Judd came down.
stairs with his gripsack in his hand.
whistling merrily enough, about III
O'Clock. The hotel proprietor met him in
the hotel lobby.
Pulling out, Judd?' the hotel man
asked him.
II sure am replied Bisbee. without
trace of regret or downheartedness
about him.
Where you bound for?' inquired the
hotel man.
Back to old Sonora replied Judo.
Reckon can pick up job in one of the
night shifts. l want the night shift. for
L sure have got plumb used to sleeping
in the dayti&e here and he grinned with
the greatest good nature.
Broke asked the hotel man.
Reckon not replied Judd jauntily
enough. Still sixty to tn good and he
flashed his three twenty-dollar gold pieces
with visible pride over the fruga.lty that
had enabled him to pinch out that much.
The hotel man wanted him to accept a
little loan of $500 or $1,000 to enable him
to rest up after his wearing whrl, but
Judd wouldn't take a cent. He boarded
the train for the border of Mexico that
night, and. sure enough, he did go to
work on the night shift Of one of the
Sonora mines when he got there.
Lately | heard that Judd Bisbee is
now In the Goldfields country. looking
about the same as ever and pretty we'll
broke"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

''Well, you know that motor car that
her husband got her last fall? Really. !
believe the woman actually lived In that
car. Do you know. she actually went to
market of mornings in that car! Well. !
was down at the Center Market one day
last fall to get some fresh artichokes for
little party I was giving, I remember.
when this funny Sparerib woman flourish
ed up In her big red-bedizened car, and,
would you believe 1.-THE person Is so
ridiculously obtuse-she actually was
pleased right down to the ground when
I saw her there at the market with her
machine, and. hoity-toity; the way the
silly creature tried to patronize me-really,
it's the truth! She did!
"Of course 1t was wholly absurd but
for the life Of me I couldn't help resent
ing the fat creatures utter ridiculous
ness, and I should just like to've had you
seen her when said to her DO you get
your meat from your father here, my
DEAR? Ny but she crumbled-and serves
her good and right, too, the nonsensical
thing!
Because you know. my dear. what
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

cars. not one of the-oh. by the way
yours is a runabout. isn't it. dear? NO
An American-made touring car, you say
Oh then they really do make good touring
cars in the United States. do they?
But. anyhow 1 always preferred
them, you know. But of course. for
folks who have rarely experienced the
delight of driving behind fine. blooded.
manageable horses the motor car really
seems dreadfully nice, although, as l say,
it is really a pity that the owning of a
motor car long ago ceased to have any
distinction whatever, when one sees ones
butcher and baker driving about in them
with their queer-looking families and.
Oh, talking about butchers. my dear. you
know Mrs. Sparerib? Dear me, isn't she
just the funniest, For ever so many
years, you know, her father kept butcher
stalls in the different markets of Wash
ington, though. of course, she never
breathes a word about that, and one al
most dies laughing when one hears her
speaking of tradespeople-have you ever
heard her?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29
q

over the front or editorial pages of Paris
dailies with respect to how the French
people and the institutions Of France
stand with thena-and it is more than
problematical if American journalists
thus approached would yield to that sort
of persuasion In any circumstances what
ever Which makes 1t all the more singu-
lar that we should be compelled, if we
would get the news to find the foolish
little cross-patcal views of these unimpor-
tant little Gallo editors spread in big
type alongside the news in these New
York papers. Many things happen in this
town which cause one to feel imperatively
in need Of a rest-and this is one Of
them.
Spring Erotics in Fiction.
A fiction publisher who assuredly is in
a position to know was telling me last
week tina: the approaching spring pub
fishing season will be a record-breaker
for the publication of erotic novels.
Dozens Of manufacturers of fiction. Of
all grales and degrees, are at it," is the
way this publisher expressed it, land
think may here and now prophesy that
the censorizing shop of the United States
Post Office Department is going to have
its hands full with the fiction soon to be
sprung upon the novel-reading public
MOSl OF THESE DoohS IL Is pIODdDie, Will
keep, We'll say. just about an eighth
of an inch within the law which forbids
the sending through the mails of books
that are positively indecent. But there'll
be good mary of them, all the same,
that won't pass muster when the federal
authorities get to scanning their pages.
The erotic novels that just do barely pass
muster will get a fine lot of advertising
out of it all, and that's what their writer's
will be secretly hankering for.
You see. they take this thing as
dead-cold business proposition. 1t has
been proven time and again, all over this
country. that these erotic novels pay big:
that they are almost invariably winners;
that the more they are knocked in moral
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

if it costs us million dollars to do it.
That's lucid talk, isn't it?'
Greatest kind of talk complacently
replied the swindler, quite undaunted.
but it's also defamatory. I'll sue you,
you see. You can't, as common carrier,
legally refuse to furnish me with trans
portation. I'll sue and let the courts de-
eide the matter. You'll have sizable
case on your hands, and I'll promise you
that I'll beat you out
"'Go ahead and sue, and win. If you
cam replied the agent. We want you to
sue That's why am refusing you trans
portation-because the company expects
and hopes that you will sue. And If we
don't lick you out of court 1t won't be
for lack Of trying.
This nervy swindler was as good as
his word. He entered suit against the
company for refusing to sell him trans
portation to Honolulu on one of its steam
ers without good and sufficient cause, and
he put In another separate suit against
the steamship agent for defamation of
character. Those cases have not yet been
called, and there is lot of speculation
out in San Francisco as to what the out
come is likely to be. Most of the specu-
lation congeals around the point as to
whether the steamship company will be
able to produce as witnesses against the
sharper men who have been bitten by
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

idiotic Jugs some people begin to put on
directly they get hold Of motor car by
hook or crook-and some Of them actually
starve themselves and all but go naked
in order to get automobiles, don't they?
Why, that f1ighty little Nailitt woman
made her poor imitation of husband get
her a car last year when the man
actually was wearing suit of clothes
that I wouldn't let my husband wear to
water the back garden. and his shoes so
run down at the heels. too. that he could
barely hobble in them. Like all of the
people of this sort who get cars, Of course
she had to come gushing around to all Of
her friends, including me. in her ma
chine, wearing her assortment Of marked
down automobile wells. to boast about her
car. Positively, she insisted upon my
going to the door to look at her old car.
"'Quite pretty I said to her. Why
don't you induce your husband to buy one
for you?' OF course. I knew that it really
was their car, but it made her perfectly
furious, that harmless little imputation
of mine that she was riding about in a
hired machine, and. mercy on us. how
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-29

room, filled out form and told me that 1
must go down stairs, buy five-cent cou-
pom from a financial clerk and return with
1t, when he would be ready to hand over
a copy of the Gazette. BY this time al
most three-quarters of an hour had
elapsed, and I am busy man. but l
thought had better follow the tangle of
red tape to its finish, now that had
started. So l made the journey down
stairs to the financial clerks office and
ing in chairs and not offering to do any
thing until encouragement overlook me.
when ! went back upstairs and told the
clerk with the Gazette that should have
spare to complete the complicated trans
action. did not get the Gazette that
went after but 1 spent an instructive
hour, for l learned where the true ely
SUM is situated, the place where time
does not exist. the real country Of dolce
far niente'. But woe to the visitor who
butts In and expects something to be
done"
THE late Edmund Clarence Stedman."
said a Chicago publisher. used to enter
tain his friends with amusing memories OF
country journalism. He once edited, you
know. a little paper in Connecticut.
AT a dentists banquet In New York.
story about an amateur Connecticut dem
tist, one Of his oldest subscribers.
This mans name was Jake. Jake was
at work in a cornfleld one day when a
neighboring farmer came to him. holding
his jaw.
1.-THE farmer had the toothache. and to
save a trip to Winsted and dentists fee
he wanted Jake to pull the aching tooth.
Jake led him to the barn. seated him