The Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1903-1909, 1908-05-09

I'll, Nettie. Did you suffer much?
Nettie (aged 6ve)-Yes, ma'am. I en-
joyed an awful lot of pain.
Otto IL. OF Germany massacred his
chief mobiles at feast. and then Otto
himself died Of wound from a poison
ed arrow.
| Knicker-Think women should smoke 7
Bocker-Think what awful cigars the
dear things would give each other!-
New York Sun.
"What is an altruist. papaT
"An altruist. my son, is man who
doesn't give to others what he doesn't
want himself" -Lippincott's
Cut a chip of camphor light 1t and
set 1t on a basin of water. when 1t will
continue to burn and float until 1t Ii
consumed.
Mrs. Benham-Don't you think l
write as | talk?
Benham-I think you would If you
had paper enough.-Pick-Me-Up.
The fishhook cactus is a trustworthy
compass of the desert, as, no matter
how hot the sum- 1t always points TO-
ward the south.
81 like work, but
''But what"
81 will admit that it's an acquired
TASTE
Stella-The university boys won't de-
bate with coed.
Bella-Wait till they marry.-New
York Sun.
Please give me two bills for my hat,
one for $40, to show my husband. and
one for 500, to show my lady friends
Meggendorfer Batter.
Bob-Say. ma, were men very scarce
when you married pa or did you just
feel sorry for him ?-Kansas City indie
pendent
81 thought you said 1t was case OF
love at first sightT
81 did. but she soon got her second
sight and weakened on me"
An average man, living for the aver
age period of human life, may be cal
culated to get through about $500 miles
Of reading.
By the confession of hardened pick
pocket, 1t is shown that the profession
would practically disappear If there
were no hip pockets.
During the summer Of 1880 the Val
ley Forge, the first boat Of iron that
navigated the western rivers, was
launched at Pittsburg.
Plumber-So Tong. I'm of to lay a
pipe.
Poet-Well, goodby. I'm of to pipe
lay.
The Girl-Are your poems well read?
Ye Bard-Some of them. think my
last poem was read by over 200 editors.
Chicago News.
Conceited Amateur learned to play
the violin when l was eight years old.
Crusty Professional-Indeed! How old
were you when you forgotf
Small Boy lin tank of swimming
school anxiously)-Oh, pa, I've swal-
lowed some waterl VIII they mind?-
Punch.
Insurance Oficial-Of what COM
plant did your father die?
Applicant-The jury found him guilty.
London Mail.
Towne-Luschman is troubled great
deal by his wife's insomnia.
BROWNIE didn't know about that
before.
Towne-Yes, she usually has severe
attack of 1t every night when he comes
In late and then the trouble begins
Philadelphia Press.
The Nobel prizes were suggested by
the eighth Earl of Bridgewater, son Of
the bishop of Durham. He left $4,000
to be paid to the author Of the best
treatise on 1.-THE Power, Wisdom and
Goodness Of God as Manifested In the
Creation" The judges divided the
money among eight persons.
II suppose that there was a remark
ably cultured audience at the perform
ance of one of Sophocles' plays In New
York?'
"Tm not so sure Of that"
"What makes you dubiousT
"The fact that | heard several calls
for the uthor."-Baltimore American.
II can't decide" she said, whether
to take the hat or not But 1t Ia just
the dearest thing have seen this sea-
SON."
1.-THE dearestY asked the husband,
with a sardonic laugh. Then it's GER
tain that you'll take it"-London Tele-
graph.
why is Ellington so unpopular with
his fellow clerksf
He's always the first one on duty In
the morning and the last to leave at
night. suppose they are practicing
on the way they will have to hate him
when he gets to be their boss."-Chi-
cago Record Herald
HJohn do Won love rna2D