The sun., 1908-03-24

per cent. mere than the cost prices Of the
wines, beers. waters and cigars consumed
The officers are not allowed 10 have dis
titled spirits in the wine mess
PITFALLS 10 BIZ AVOIDED.
When you have a dozen or more men eat
nag together three times day and for weeks
confined to their clubrooms the social life
Of the company is likely TO be beset with
pitfalls and shoals. You can imagine how
It would be on land, especially II military
rule prevailed In a club and every member
was compelled 10 spend all his time in II
and was superior OF inferior In rank 10
every other man. This matter Of rank
has 10 be taken into consideration The
members Of the mess are seated according
TO rank. Still they are equal In the matter
Of membership Of the mess, and between
this matter Of rank and social equality some
delicate situations arise The man who
may cause you 20 be disciplined sits close
to you In the bonds Of supposed good fell
lowship and TO preserve the club feature
Of the mess calls for a display Of restraint
that develops character.
II is a primary rule Of the military SER
vice Of the country that an officer must he a
gentleman. That means that good breed
ing, consideration for the feelings Of others,
kindness, tact and all the other well known
qualifications used In defining the word
gentleman must govern the conduct Of
an officer. Good form also requires that
| there must be no discussion Of subjects
| in the mess that would lead to discord,
| such as religion or politics. The result
is that TO the person not familiar with the
traditions an officers meas on board n
warship seems TO be a place for small talk
or else for shop talk. Really there are
| few places IN the world where the word
gentleman has a better exemplihcation.
| The officers adapt themselves 10 the situa-
ton Of enforced close intimacy Of months
and months in a way that eXcites admira-
tion, You see, you've got 10 live with
a person TO find him out. When you touch
elbows with him all the time all his little
peculianties stand out and all his annoy
ances Of manner become conspicuous.
The one social task on a ship is to ignore
all these things and to try to have a COM
panionship as genial as II ones good points
alone we're on view for day or two
GOOD HUMoR THE KEYNOTE.
Keeping in good humor is the trick. One
way in which this is done on ship is by a
light cha fling that runs through the inter-
course Of the members Of the mess Prob
ably no more skilful skating on thin ice
takes place around any board than in the
wardroom Of warship. Good natured
! thrusts and parties are going on all the
time. and just as the danger point of going
too far in personal matters is reached the
talk is shifted in some mysterious way, and
new tack is taken,
favorite means Of fun is to tackle the
I mess caterer. as the treasurer is called,
and tell him what poor food he is serving.
! Now, every man knows he is trying to make
! the mess money go as far as possible and
also to provide good food. He has a thank
! less job and the members Of the mess like
! to run him as the expression goes. Sup
pose he serves up that delightful concootion
Of domestic economy, meat balls. The run
ming fire Of comment on such fare would
make any ordinary mans hair gray in a
month The members Of the moss even go
80 far as to tell him that when he dies his
monument should be topped with marble
representation Of dish Of meat balls.
Let some man appear in evening dress
after word has been passed that for once
such costume may be omitted at dinner
The luckless one is howled out OF the ward
room and invited to set em up when he
comes back. Let a man make some wild
or foolish statement or boast; he never
hears the last Of it, Perhaps the chief
engineer may get permission not to wear
evening dress for an evening or two while
he is fixing up some dirty work in the engine
room. Some one will sing out;
Captain, work so hard; please excuse
me from dressing for dinner Forthwith
the Fourth Ward, as the lower end Of the
table is called, gets up yell and at a signal
this is heard;
Dill Johnson Bill Johnson! Bill Johnson
work -so-hardl
johnson, johnson, Johnson
Hll says Il is on him and what'll ye have
Let some one declare that he is on the
water wagon and decline TO join in friendly
glass. Forthwith over his place at the
table will appear the II. r. T. banner, which,
being interpreted, means HOligl THAI Thou,
and the man says he'll stay on the wagon
II you don't object, but will the others please
order what they'd like at his expense.
Lovesick members Of the mess get 1t
numerically, but when the glasses come
on the table at dinner some evening and
the lovelorn man smiles and announces
his marriage engagement, hearty, indeed,
are the congratulations and the girls health
is drunk with gusto. Let some member
have birthday. Again good wishes pre-
dominate. All hands make speeches
Poems are presented. Hits and grinds
are got off, 1t all goes to make the men
Of the mess forget that they are made Of
human clay, the kind that grows brittle
and crumbles upon close contact.
Various expedients for making social
life delightful are tried. Take the Kansas,
for instance. Go over to dinner there some
night and you will find the usual good
natured raillery going on all the time, but
at the end Of nearly every course some one
will get up and go to the piano and sing
song, a good one, too. They have half
dozen singers on that ship, and you can
scarcely spend more delightful evening
anywhere. Perhaps they have invited
Father Gleeson Of the Connecticut over,
and after suitable urging this accomplished
chaplain priest will tell some Irish stories
or will sing The Wearin' o. the Green for
you. And then the ordnance officer will
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