Bryan morning eagle. [volume] (Bryan, Tex.) 1898-1909, 1908-01-17

yelts future for this month will be
that he will become a congressman
after he leaves the white House, and
will 20 into the ring with Williams
and DeArmond. Mr.. Bryan will walk
around the democratic nomination
with a hammer. to see II there is any
place where he could nail II down.
Money vii continue shy. rising out OF
range and flying eight miles. Mr..
Lawson vii put his mask on and 20
back into the game, jobs will continue
TO run when they see you coming. and
sometime during the month MIR. Nor.
gan will decide whether he has all the
money he wants now, or II he will
continue the panic.
After the Goth We shall be under the
influence OF Aquarius the water car.
rier. the eleventh sign OF the Zodiac.
Under this favorable sign. Prohibition
will establish about eighty more storm
centers. booze will run another mile
in nothing south OF the Mason and Dix.
on line. and Carrie Nation will work
with Ratchet in each hand. To quote
an Omar OF the Oklahoma desert,
Hush little bar-room,
Don't you cry
You'll be drugstore
BY and by.
January was named after Janus Bi.
irons, known as "Two-Faced Janus"
He was the originator of what Is
known as the politicians lifesaver."
A wave OF prohibition was sweeping
Rome. and Bifrons. candidate for
the state senate. had TO declare him.
self one way or the other TO every
third man he met. But he was a |
foxy guy. and when he was asked. |
DO you drink. Bifrons?" he would sly.
ly ask in return. rs this an invitation !,
or do you just want to know"
After that we will have very
pleasant weather The moon will
be full on the eighteenth. and
and persons we never heard OF
will be mentioned for vice president.
The Fish.fiarriman fight will go into
the tenth round and Mr.. Fish will
Complain TO the Hague tribunal that
Mr.. Hartman is using knucks. Gen
eral Funston. on guard at Goldheld.
will appeal TO Secretary Metcalf to
transfer him 10 Washington where
the fighting is going on; Christmas
presents will be exchanged for some.
thing YOU want. and Japan. hearing
that the fleet Is to keep right on
across the Pacific. will move over on
the mainland and dig cyclone cellars.
Persons born In January have cold
feet. and do not play poker. II they
are born under the influence OF Aqua
rius, the water carrier. they will vote
dry. They are very ingenious. and
know how 10 turn the gas.meter back. \
They have large families and small
incomes. They are good at figures
and can tell you whether a womans
shape Is real or excelsior. They are
slow TO marry but can get a divorce
as quick as anybody. They are very
shrewd In money matters, and never
give their wives the money.
Don't answer the door-bell this
month. It's a book agent. Keep the
under the coal pile. II
you come home late at night. look out
for highwaymen. and walk In the mid
die of the street. as the policeman
does. Don't write love letters-she
will save them.
The trusts will continue to show us
where TO head in. and congress will
vote our money like II was theirs. The
fashionable wintering places for the
will be Southern California and
the Florida coast, and all trains bound
to those points will be loaded with
plasterers and bricklayers, with their
And then the short.lived month OF
Feb. when woman will complete her
web. and foolish man will buzz about
until the spider dashes out and nails
him neatly to the mast for so long
as life shall last.
Cheer up. cheer up! It's not so bad
With us as tits with Ted.
Who had TO come to II and knock
His third term In the head.