The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-05

home this very minute"
There. there, Abner:'' said Miss
Simkins sol.citously. do try and
calm yourself
It'll try, Sereny," he replied meekly.
you see, num-" explained the doc
tor, ''they always act that way when
they have hysteria. They always
think you are trying to torture 'em.
II you'll kindly get some cloth, mum.
and some mustard, We'll make some
plasters. Let's see." Bige was hunt
ing for something under his chair. His
handkerchief was stuffed in his mouth.
and he was blue in the face. We'll
need one plaster for his chest, another
for his back and one for the sole of
each foot"
You're not goin' to put them fool
things on me-" howled Abner, sitting
up and glaring as If he was going
stark mad Il tell you, l amt goin' tc
let We make any bigger idjit of me
than We have already"
"Mebby we'd better chloroform him. =
suggested Bige. "Mebby we'd better
strap him to board"
Its too bad to have to put these
things on anybody" soliloquized DR..
Lavender dryly while he and Bige FL
let were affixing the plasters would
not wonder but they'll disfgure him
for life"
"And he amt any too good lookin'
as 1t is, goodness knows" added Bige
sympathetically.
'NGo ahead and taunt me-" growled
Abner in muff1ed voice from the en-
vironment Of his disarranged clothing.
There" said the doctor finally, fas-
tening the last band and rising to his
feet Now we must keep him warm.
He ought to have couple of blankets
and three or four bedquilts on top oil
him"
"Sereny," observed Abner a few
moments later. peering out from be
meath a mountain of bedclothes like a
rabbit peeking from under a straw
stack, II don't feel like l was very
long for this world. I'm a half cured
ham covered with mustard. I feel
like a moldy old sandwich" He turn
ed his face toward the wall and
groaned.
"Oh, Abner," said Miss Simkins
cheerfully, do try and bear up. Alb
nerr'
"And, Sereny," he resumed weakly
when they take them poultices often
me III be the reddest Moon anybody
ever saw. I'll be SO lurid that won't
| dare to go home for fear of givin' my
| children the scarlet fever"
There. there" crooned Miss Simkins
cheerily; don't you go to worryin
about them children, Abner."
| He turned and looked at her tender.
ly. ''Sereny." he said, would you
really like to look after 'em-alwaysi
| Would you care to marry He
paused suddenly and rolled his eyes
like one in mortal agony. His breath
| came in gasps. His mouth was wide
open.
Fire! Fire" be roared suddenly
| trying desperately to push the covers
| of. I'm ablaZe from one end of me
to the other. I'm a ragin' confagra
ton. In just three minutes there won't
be nothin' left of me but a bed OF
Goals. I'm sufferin' spontaneous com
bustion, l tell ye! Won't somebody
please put me out?"
Miss Simkins wrung her hands in
fright "Oh. Dr. lavender she cried
'sOh, Mr. Elicit Do something for
him, can't your
"Mebby I'd better throw a bucket of
water on him." said Bige. "Mebby I'd
better turn in fire alarm"
/ "Consarn YEP groaned Abner. 81
want We to take them things often me-
They've drawed my wishbone and my
spinal column together already, and
the soles of my feet are clinging to my
kneecaps like stone bruise to a boys
heel"
'Ee there any blisters on yep asked
DR.. Lavender.
There's just one," snorted Abner
"but it's bigger than barn door, and
Pm right in the middle of it,
TOO bad" said the doctor solemnly
when plasters take effect as quick as
that 1t shows his nervous system is q
total wreck" He opened his medicine
case, took out bottle, shook it and
heh it between him and the light.
I'm afraid, num-" he resumed sad
ly, I'm have to give him a dose OF
this, after all. hate to do it, but it's
the only chance left US" He poured
little into a spoon. Abner was
watching him with a ford but anx.
ious face.
ut may cure him, num-" he re-
sumed gravely. IF it does, he will be
well man In ten minutes, but If il
doesn't mum, it will kill him deader
than a nit''
Abner clutched the bedclothes con.
vulsively. He tried to speak, but be
could only gurgle like cider pouring
out Of jug, and cold sweat broke
out all over him.
"N-n-no," he gasped, throwing of
the covers and sitting up on the edge