Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-01-24

moon instead OF man Ii wouldn't get
T. III so often.
He-i can never tell you what
feel for you. True love is silent She
= oh, so; II speaks to papa.
"l!a's very prominent member of
our yacht club" Indeed What is
his official capaelty?" -Four gallons"
Life.
The Parental Voice-Maude, is that
young man gone yet: The Daughter
Yves, papa; he says he is.-Oeyeland
Leader
Mamma-0h, children, why are you
so naughty to-day? Children-Why,
sister said IL we were good she'd sing
to us tonight Stray Stories.
Miss Screech Yes mamma has kept
the wolf from the door for years by
her singing Prof Diggs-Hom---
no wonder New York Globe.
she-1 notice that ii is the single
men who are the most anxious to so
to war. He (much married Yes.
They don't know what war is
Jane" tloated downward voice,
''if that's Mrs, Soandso, I'm not in"
'it is Mrs, Soandso," foated upward
voice "and she's glad to hear it,
Boston Traveller.
Towne-Yes, Muttley is married.
Didn't you know that? Browne No;
why he told me he wouldn't marry the
best woman on earth Towne- Well,
he Philadelphia Press.
First Man We have eleven kittens
at our house, and I've named them all
Peter Pan. Second Man---How's that2
Firsf Man-They are never going to
live to grow up Brooklyn Life.
Teacher (after explaining the char
acter of the Pharlsee) And now, what
do we mean by IMPORTER Pupil
Please, miss, man wot says he Is
wot he isn't, but he ain't.-punch.
Yes" said Mrs. Mugley, II always
try to retire before midnight. / don't
like to miss my beauty Sleep Real
~" said Miss Knox, you should try
harder. You certainly don't get enough
of it"-Stray Stories.
Lady engaging cook Why did you
leave your last placer Bridget Malo-
ney--Whoi, mum, the mistress said she
cudn't do widout me, so oil came to the
conclusion that Oh was worth more
than she was givin' me, and Oh lift at
| wanst Pick e-Up.
GrIggs The idea of your letting
your wife go round saying she made n
man of you? You don't hear my wife
saying that. Brlggs--No, but heard
/ her telling my wife that she did her
best.-Ally Sloper's Half-Holday.
Redd Il see Brownies got an auto
| mobile. Greene-Yes his rich uncle
gave 1t to him. "Why, he told me he
| put all the money he had into It," $50
he did. He bought dollars worth OF
| gasoline for it."--Yonkers Statesman.
| Doctor Griffin must say the world
is very ungrateful toward our profes
sion How seldom one sees public
memorial erected to a doctor! Mrs
Golghtly~ How seldom! oh, doctor.
think OF our cemeteries STRAY
Stories.
Indignant Citzen--Say, Your boy
! threw a stone at me just now and bare
ly missed me. Mr.. Grogan-Yez say
nc missed ye?" Indignant Citizen
That's what | understood myself to
remark. Mr.. Grogan~It was not my
blythe New Century.
Doctor Ito patient) Your heart Is
rather irregular. Have you anything
that IL worrying you? Patient-Oh,
not particularly. Only that Just now
when you put your hand In your pocket
| thought you were going to give me
your bill.--London Telegraph.
Your husband stays out quite late
every night" raid the tactless woman.
EYES," answered the patient wife, but
don't know that | blame aim. You
see, in our apartment house people are
permitted to play the piano until half
past eleven. Washington Star
whats your name, my poor MANI"
asked the benevolent housewife, as she
brought out a saucer OF stewed prunes
SANDY Pixies, f. Il. W" replied tho
tattered wayfarer. dofiing his brimless
hat. Gracious, and does the +. +. V.
stand for first family Of Virginia 2 +"
mo. mum; It stands for fast freight
veteran Chicago News
. Il don't mind telling you, said the
pretty girl couiidentiaIly, that want
to take a thorough course In cooking
In order to TT myself 10 be good wife"
You are doing the right thing. my
dear" said the matron In charge Of
the cooking school May | ask how
soon you expect to be married." How
should | know rejoined the pretty
girl, daintily rolling mp her sleeves.
81 haven't found the man yet Chi
cago Tribune.
"In writing up the burglary" said
the excited caller, you can say that
the thieves In their hurry overlooked