The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-11-19
From the Baltimore Sun.


 NNN the coast of England the other GGOJ day a small pleasure steamer N bearing 26 passengers, all men, ran upon a sunlxen wreck and began to sink. There was but one small lifeooat and this would hold but half of the pas sengers. Thirteen might be saved, but the other 13 would have to plunge into the sea and take their chances.
 In this emergency the captain, young Englisman, spoke up.
 "How many married men are. here?' said he.
 Thirteen men stepped forward.
 Let these men get into the boat' said the captain. I've bachelors will try to swim"
 The married men eagerly assented to this proposal, and in two minutes they were in the boat and rowing for the beach Just then the steamer went down and the IS bachelors jumped into the an gry waves They were willing to take their chances. They were willing to give every advantage to their married brethren who had wives and children at home.
 And did the heroic bachelors drown? Not at all They breasted the gigantic
 pillows like mermen and reached the strand safe and sound. And then, paus- ing a moment to draw breath, they plunged in again-to rescue the married men, The latter, crazy with fear, had managed to swamp their boat within 50 yards of the beach and were now strug- gling in the surf and bowling for help. The bachelors, shouting reassuring words
 to them, gSt them ashore, emptied them of sea water, rubbed their ears, calmed their fears and. carried them home. This true story proves anew a thesis that we have been maintaining, in the face of frenzied opposition and calumny, for the past AZ years. Briefly stated, 1t is this That the human bachelor is the
 most magnificent being yet produced by the evolutionary process Far from being the inferior of the married man, he Is, we believe infinitely the latter's supe- rior, not only on account of his greater measure of liberty, his more philosophie
 mind and his escape from petty distrac- tions, but also because of his obviously
 
 complete master of his environment
 which means the sum of natural and ar- tificial forces working toward his dis comfiture, achievement and dissolution-- whereas the married man is always ham dicapped by some inimical and sinister influence, whether it be a sentimental tendency to yield to his wife's idiosyncra- sies or a supine inclination to submit to his mother-in-law.s ukases and edicts. According to the current view the mar ried man is, ipso fa etc, hero. This view infects even bachelors themselves, as is well shown by the proposal of the captain in the story. It is revealed again every time fresh panic arrives, for the bachelors are always discharged before | thA married men. The theory seems to | be that the latter are more valuable to | the world-a notion as indefensible as the | kindred idea that the moon is made of l celluloid.
 | As a matter of fact, mans value to 1 the world is determined, not by his do- mestio condition. but by his efficiency. | A man who can earn s10,000 a year is worth more than two men who car earn 
 l but $5000. A man who can jump 30 feet is l worth 15 fat men who can jump but two l feet A man who can eat ham and 1 two .cabbages at sitting is worth Ao 1 dyspeptics who munch toast and zwei- back. And finally, man who in the face i of constant endeavors by fascinating wid- i ows, anthropophagus maiden ladies and 1 match-rnaking mammas, to lure him into matrimoHy, yet manages to elude the hy- menesl hook. and to live out his days in
 a capela blessedness. doing the thinking | of the world and serving as a glorious | example to yopth-this man is worth 100
 who permit themselves to be dragged,
 shrieking, up the Aisle of Sighs their hair clipped short, their shoes shining, their eyes bulging with horror and plain | gold rings in their vest pockets.
 A soldier who dies gloriously on the battlefield is not entirely useless to the
 world, 1t may be admitted with all truth: