The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-09
HUM0R OF THE DAY

HUNOR OF THE Day
The star pupil arose at the school en-
me your ears !" he baWied .S iH 4Is sneeTed
the mother of the opposition. but defeated.
wouldn't be his mothers son II he didn't
want to borrow something. "-Baltimore
rs he prosperous? 20 Prosperous? Why,
he's making more money than a busted
trust, "-EXchange.
Patient-Do you think raw oysters are
healthy? Physician-I never knew any to
complain.-Judge.
Whats the Chautauoua salute?p IT
think it's gingerly kiss. One that won't
disarrange or break the eye-glasses.''-
Young Fitznoodle with a yawn)-Ya-as,
Just to live, don't y'know Farmer Hard
pan-Don't yeu pay 1t! 'Tain't wuth it
Judge.
What we need in this city" said the
PROOF buiidns aF ws ne m9re n fEe
city said the man with his hands in
his pockets, ARE more fireproof jobs
Buffalo Express
Reason is no harder to, listen to than
grand opera, but it's much less apt to be
in fashion.-Puck.
In Legal Terms.-"And what was your
family's decision?'' Practically unanim-
GUS in my favor" answered the young
dissenting. kansas City Journal.
Misery not only loves company, but
usually treats it to fine line OF hard
luck stories.-Nashville American.
Envy" said Uncle Eben. sis generally
due to de way you lets yoh Imagination
run run away wild you in Picturin' good times
Washington Star.
what the Senator thinks about this tariff
reform business? Senator's Private Sec
Tribune.
Did you ever spend any money foolish
ly?' Sure, l was engaged to a girl once
myself. Detroit Free Press.
They seem to live happily together"
Yes; ne let's his wife SELECT his neekties
American.
next suite Yes: the the man is practicing
on the eornet while his wife talks
Don't you ever get homesick. Cap
tain?'' asked the passenger on the ocean
liner. mo: I'm never home long enough"
replied the Captain.-Philadelphia Press.
Dany-Pardon me. dear. but you cut
ridiculoTs figure on the street yesterday;
goIyv v0 ieF p6id beve GEAR @
land Leader.
Justin" said Mrs Wyss. Yes" re-
word to Fido and make him wag his tail:
-Lippincotts Magazine.
How did Harry enjoy his trip abroad?''
''Xery, much; he looks happy, and has
heiress. brooklyn Life.
an expert tells me it isn't anything, OF the
kind" MY frient. you go tell dor
eggspert he's liar NIT my compliments.
Dot opal was in four fires."-Life.
who has been refusing dish after dsh)-f
am SO distressed. You've had no dinner
at ALL Guest-Thank you-but nave 70
be very particular about my food.-Punch.
cover that you were affinities?', asked the
pretty young widow. Heavens! we never
did, We. got, married in a decent way,
neither OF us having any reason not TO. -
Chicago Record-Herald.
Ethel-Have you heard of Jacks en-;
gagement to Eleanor? Harold-Dear me!
No. Then Jack has finally succeededf
Ethel-No; succumbed-London Tattler.
What is instinct? It is tn nschral
to turn to his wife.''-Mr. Dooley.
The Sunday comic supplements will be
allowed to continue. The law IS against
York Evening Mail.
Madge-Why did you refuse him, If he
is such a prudent man? Doly-He said
he though If he got married he could
save more money.-Puck.
Patience-Don't YOU think great pianists
are born? Patrice-Well, don't believe
any child is born with much hair as a
pianfst has 70 have.-Yonkers Statesman.