davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1908-04-02
The Death of .he LAWYER.

Phoney- Say. Butt. when | die I
hopes it'll he like a lawyer once
heard OF.
Bu:t--HOw'S dat?
Phoney-Dis lawyer died ple~|:n' at
the bar. and dey carried him on; on
beer
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1908-04-02
Mountain Climbers Narrow Escape.

young baker who was returning
with a cOnlEaniOn after an ascent OF
the Pan Aianiile near Chamonix was
caught by the branch of a tree after
falling nearly 800 feet. and suspended
by his braces. TO the strength of which
he owes his life
His companion fell 2 GOO feet and
was picked up with nearly every bone
in his body broken
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1908-04-02
Fierce Animals.

What are the most blood-thirstr
animals" a man asked tanner OF wild
animals "Tieers?, =
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1908-04-02
Ask the Man.

Ask the Man.
Female Picnicker-Look, Charley.
TnGo comes q man from . balloon.
Her Companion-I wender NAHt -
SAAta nth uA.~VuAk
The Sauk Centre herald. (Sauk Centre, Stearns County, Minn.) 1886-current, 1908-04-02

To be continued next week.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
Heaven or He'll?

And now, madam" said the under
taker, few days after the funeral. Il
presume you wish to have a suitable
headstone for your husband"
Yes" sighed the widow, land | guess
Il plain, simple one, with an appropriate
inscription, would be best. John never
did like anything elaborate"
Precisely. He was a kind, domestic,
home-loving man. | believer
"A Kind man, yes. and n good husband (;
but not exactly domestic. Sometimes l
wouldn't hardly see him for a week at Il
time. You see, he belonged to SO many
societies and lodges that he was out Il
good deal often said wished he was
more domestic. lie was good husband,
though. But | will leave the inscription
TO YOU"
And SO it happened that short time
later there appeared in the cemetery Il
plain white headstone bearing. in addi-
ton 10 the dates of birth and death,
simply the words:
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
DO IT NOW.


Why. friend. defer till the morrow
That which may be done today?
With soul inspired. and with ardoI fred
Wherefore, | ask, delay?
For future pleas and excuses.
For present promise and VOW,
You will have small need, if the voice you
heed.
That tells you to do it now
II is well TO have high ideals,
And we'll to be able to plan.
And ways to suggest which seem the best
For the good of our fellowman
But vain are our noblest impulses
And fancy is far from fact,
back,
When the time has come to act
And our prayers, like our hopes, may fail
us,
For we pray oft. / fear, unaware
That God commands to use our hands.
As well as our voice, in prayer.
In art and letters, the greatest
And grandest dreams of men,
Have died. | ween, ere they touched the
screen,
Or found their way TO the pen
Henry Reed Conant in Los Angeles
News
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
Not Every Nurse Knows.

That orange juice with cracked ice can
often be taken by a patient who can re-
tain nothing else.
That orange juice, being laxative. is
excellent in most sick rooms: is some
times even prescribed for typhoid fever
patients.
That chocolate. though nourishng. oft
en- causes dyspepsia when the digestion
is weak.
That the nervous patient should have
eight or nine hours of sleep.
That sleep will be slow in coming if
the sick person is allowed to have com
pany just before bedtime or listens TO
exciting reading.
That one should never ask a sick per-
son. What can | do for youf"
That dainty service often counts more
than quality or variety in the mvahd's
meals.
That the nurse should never save steps
when the patients appetite is capriCious.
4 small portion often tempts where a
larger one nauseates An extra trip To
the kitchen is better than beaped ~
trays.
That a sick room should never be
made thoroughfare or the gathering
place for the family.
That sponging with alcohol and water
will reduce fever several degrees,
That if possible. a patient should be
induced To give up tea and coffee during
convalescence. In weakened conditions
they are apt TO induce nervousness and
sleeplessnesS.
That having a patient hold her breath
will often prevent Spasm Of coughing.
That toast water is a soothing and
healing drink during attacks Of brou-
chiIis.
That persons subject to rheumatism or
weak heart should not take baths that
are ice cold.-New York Times
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
Strenuous Fatalism.

Explorer Peary was talking in New
York about the luck he would have ID
reaching the pole with the Roosevelt,
They say you are a fatalist, SAID
reporter. They say that you believe You
are fated to find the pole before you
die"
The explorer laughed.
IF | am fatalist," he said, Il assure
you my fatalism is of the working ana
strenuous kind-like that of old Abe
Cruger.
odd Abe lived in New England in the
days of Indian warfare. He was a IA
talist of a pronounced type, never be-
less he would not venture forth withon'
his blunderbuss.
Zone day he had an important e.
rand, but the blunderbuss, when 'ae
came TO get ii, was missing from l1e
rack made of antlers where it always
hung. Some one of his family had tah-
en- it. Abe sat down to wait till II was
brought back.
But, Abe. l thought you were
fatalist| said a friend.
so | am the old man answered
"'Then why bother about your n'uu,
derbussT tainted the friend. You are
in no danger from the Indians since -"
can't possibly die till your time comes,
Yes said the old man. But ,IP
pose | was to meet an Indian ana l.s
time had come. 1t wouldn't do 10. ~. ius
not to have my blunderbuss, wouid IL
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
The Freshman's Compliment.

A certain college president was enter
tanning a freshman at dinner, when the
conversation turned upon football To
the students surprise, the president dis
played thorough familiarity with the
game. and proceeded to discuss it as
earnestly as though it had been Greek
or mathematics Indeed, his treatment
of the topic brought out so many points
that the freshman had overlooked that
the youth was moved to remark t. his
hostess:
well, this talk with President Blank
has showed me how true it is we never
meet any one from whom we can't learn
somethingr
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
A Means of Identification.

\ woman entered a police station in
Holland and asked the officer in charge
10 have the canals dragged.
MY husband has been threatening. for
some time. 10 drown himself" she ex-
planned. land he's been missing now for
two days"
he can be recognized asked the officer
preparing To I'll ont n description blank
For several moments the woman
seemed to be searching her memory. Sud
denly her face frightened.
why. yes. sir, He's deaf. Every
body's Magazine.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
How's Business.

business is poor" said the beggar.
Said the undertaken, Its dead"
Failing OFF, said the riding school
teacher.
The druggist, "oh, vial!' he said.
Its all write with me-" said the author.
Picking up!'' said the man on the dump.
MY business is sound quoth the bands
man.
Said the athlete, I'm kept on the jump"
The bother declared ii was "corking!"
The parson, Its goodr' answered he.
u make both ends meet" said the butcher
The tailor replied, 1T suits me"
Boston Transcript.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23

OF the arrests made in the months of
June, July and August this year more
than 40 per cent. were made on warrants
obtained by persons not members of the
police department on information fur
nished the police prosecutors. Of those
in the month of August, 1873, or G2 per
cent mot considering cases continued,
We're allowed To go free by the police
judges; in July. IS per cent. and June,
43 per cent. Chief Kohler has now in
Structed the police NOT to requets people
TO get warrants for petty offenses. In
stead of advising parties involved in
small differences to get out warrants, the
police are expected to make diligent iu-
quiry into them and try to adjust them
without recourse to the courts
System a Success.
The assertion was made at the first
that the Golden Rule policy placed a
dangerous discretionary power in the
hands of the police This has not proved
true. In his bulletin to the police on
July / Chief kohler said:
The members of this department have
accomplished results even beyond my
expectations in this common sense policy.
which must be gratifying 20 you as well
as myself. and l am sure it Is to the
general community. With your long and
varied experience in police matters, /
know that you are competent to Judge.
The last six months have shown that
your Judgment is good, and you have
accomplished the results expected by me
in our first Instructions
The police themselves are much inter-
ested in and are in hearty accord with
the new plan. Some of them say that
they tried to exercise Judgment in making
arrests for intoxication under the old
regime, but did SO on their own respon-
sibilty, while now they are supported by
official Endorsement. Now no person is
arrested for intoXication ON his first
offense unless it be necessary for his
protection OF fer the protection of an
other. or unless he is disturbing the
peace and quiet of the city.
Chief Tells of Scheme.
At the convention of the International
Association of Chiefs of Police in De-
troit this summer 40 police officials
listened to Chief Kohler's address on
his new plan. In his address he said:
Il believe in this policy. / believe
that if il is properly and generally car
ried into effect it win put the American
policeman in the position he should oc-
cupy. He will learn that the people he
has to deal with are human beings, not
machines: likely to make mistakes and
failures but not therefore lost souls.
And l believe that the patrolman should
be the friend and parole officer of these
laggards | believe that the best police
man is lie VINO iuaudges all oHenuerS
against the law with the least show of
authority and with the greatest sense of
human justice"
Harrisburg, Pa. las already adopted
the Golden Rule plan. Tt Collinwood. o..
good sized town near Cleveland, the
plan was put into effect last spring. with
the result that. instead of an average of
seventy to eighty-hve arrests n month.
in the first three weeks under the new
procedure only three arrests were made.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23

erful glasses they were examining the
ornament. 1t was apparent that one
of them was an enthusiastic astronomer.
He seemed sufficiently familiar with the
smallest star to call ii by its first name
that is, if stars have first names.
Drawing his companions attention to
a particular star in close proximity to
the handle of the dipper, he said:
Perhaps you may be able TO appre-
ciate the immensely of distance between
that star and our earth when / say it
would take more than 100 years for
40-horsepower automobile running full
speed TO reach it,
BY the quality of awe in his friend
voice. it was plain that he was unusual
ly impressed, as he said:
No? A hundred years? Why, man.
think of the gasoline bill. New York
Times.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
GOLDEN RULE
POLICEMEN Pay
EXPERIMENT TRIED IN CLEVELAND
PROVES BIG SUCCESS FROM
THE START.
CHIEF TELLS OF SCHEME.
Decrease of SIS Per Cent. in Arrests
Under Plan Based on Com
mon Sense.
FIGURES SUBSTANTIALLY THEORY.

After more than eight months trial of
the new Golden Rule policy of making
arrests in Cleveland, Chief of Police
kohler has pronounced it unqualifedly a
success, and accordingly in the last
month has given the policemen still
greater power of discretion. says the
New York Tribune The number OF ar
rests in Cleveland in eight months of this
year has shown decrease of more than
TO per cent. over the same period last
year, While, at the same time, no greater
number of serious crimes than usual have
been reported, despite the large number
of first offenders allowed to go who, un-
der the old regime would have been ar
rested. However. Chief Kohler says that
there are still too many arrests, and he
Is urging that further care be exercised
III keeping the number down. Other
cities are preparing to follow the same
course.
Use Own Judgment.
The Golden Rule policy, which Chief
hohler put into effect last January. pro-
yided that policemen should use judg-
ment and common sense in dealing with
oHenses which are merely violation of
city ordinances and punishable by a small
hne. They were told to take into con-
slderation the intent to violate 4 law or
an ordinance, and also the question of
righteousness on the part of the offender
They We're instructed to warn drunken
man and send him home. rather than
drag him to Jail ON his first offense. and
that two men fighting, if for the first
time. should be separated reasoned with
and not arrested. Old offenders, those
Intentionally violating the law or those
committing felones should be as severely
dealt with as ever. A record is kept of
the cases of all persons released or ever
warned.
The object of the new plan was to
dispose of trivial misdemeanors without
arrest and prevent the humiliation and
disgrace of persons who through thought
lessness, passion or temper or in a spirit
of frolic or mischievousness violated the
law. Likewise, it is intended to prevent
the humiliation and disgrace of near rel
atives of such offenders. 1t was thought,
too that it would lessen the work of the
police department and the attaches of
the police courts.
Comparison of Figures.
How well the plan has succeeded in
reducing the number of arrests is shown
in the following table. which covers the
period from the time it was put into
effect to September 1:
A ID TyIs
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
Ouch

Col. Charles Coey. the president Of laf5
American Federation of Aero clubs S".I
the other day in Chicago of an aeI"L''
teal pilot: -;
He is really too absent-minded t' Pr
lot balloon. He used, you know, ~ -C
a railroad conductor, but he had 10 Ell
up the work; he was too ab>ent-l,'.-.'''
for it, too. ..,7
ION his train one day. as he pas,
through the cars taking mp the lyns
joking passenger. instead Of prom 81
his pasteboard, solemnly proheEf" ''
foretinger. .ts
Never noticing anything our -...,a
way. the conductor punched .f
chunk our of the side of the hu-t. ~-
passed Washington Star.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
No Wonder.

They We're discussing the relative posi-
ton of various countries as musical cen
tiers. Germany seemed to give the most
votaries, much TO the evident displeasure
of one excitable Italian, who wished his
own country to carry off the palm.
Italy is turning out the most must
clans, and has always turned out the
most" he cried. "Ach, Gott!" exclaimed
a German present, can you plane herT'
-Everybody's Magazine.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
Mndern Inventions.

Mr.. Newlywed-What on eaTth j.
matter with the parlor chandeiIeE mans
Mrs Newlywed-I read in the ~
column of The Daily Dozer about e.oA
ing by electricity. and l hung lRe '.-
on the electric lights an hour az I'm
they are not even warm yeti owl
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
Regardless.

Things is goin' right ahead,
Sunshine an de rain
Keeps a-happenin' same as IL
Oar WASH no campaign.
De sweetness of de apple
An de sof'ness of de peach
Comes right along as usual
Thout waitin for no speech!
De reed birds IN de marshes;
Gunner In de boat
Don stop to AK befo' he shoot
Bout how he gwineter vote.
De oysters is discovered
Down in DER cool retreats
Not carin' any how nor when
De legislature meets,
Washington Star,
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
The Lowly Hen.

I'm for the hen, the lowly hen;
She lays an egg today and then
Tomorrow goes about her biz
And where her nest of rubbish Is
Lays us another Cluck on cluck,
Day after day, with endless pluck;
Happy if in solitude
She may at last hatch out n brood
OF fluffy chicks with yellow legs,
To become hens and lay more eggs
She knows no holidays at all,
Nor Sundays, At the clarion call
OF Mr. Rooster. with a lurch,
She lunges down from Off her perch.
And, once upon footing firm,
She goes to hunt the early worm.
She takes a worm, a piece of grit,
bug, and makes an egg of IL
That will pass muster until met
In scramble, fry, or omelet
Egg after egg day after day.
In unobtrusiye, cheerful way,
And, when her laying life is done,
She lounges not in shade or sun,
But with n rush that rest doth mock
She lays her head upon the block,
And, the piece de resistance of
Some boarding house feast, shows her Low
For humankind in death. Brave hem
Example for roosters and men.
Judd Mortimer Lewis in Golfers.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
Modern

Her Ladyship-Have you given Fido
his soup?
Buttons-Yes. 'um.
Her Ladyship-And his omelette?
Buttons-Yes, 'um.
Her Ladyship-And his outlet?
Buttons-Yes, 'um.
Her Ladyship--And his jelly?
Buttons-Yes, 'um.
Her Ladyship-Then you may have
some bread and cheese, and so 20 bed
The Sketch.
A Weeks Experience.
The year had gloomily begun
For Willie Weeks, n poor mans Sun.
He was reset with bill and dun,
And he had very little Mon.
This cash" said he, won't pay my dues.
I've nothing here but ones and Tues.
bright thought struck him. and he said,
The rich Miss Goldroeks | will Wed"
But when he paid his court 10 her.
she lisped, bur FIRMLY said NO. Thur"
Alas" said he. then | must diel"
His soul went where they say souls Fri.
They found his gloves and coat and hat.
Ana the coroner then upon them Sat
Success Magazine.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
MILWAUKEE, NEAT MARkbI

Doing 5000 monthly is for sale; -e.s ~ Ava
lished. high class trade; located O. rs as "
II interested write JAS. L NAfI-N1-S'
hanbra Bldg, Milwaukee,, Wis
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
The Return to the Flat.

Inc Return 10 the fIat.
The moths are In the parlor rugs
I'm spite of camphof balls.
And mildew spots the furniture
And cobwebs drape the walls.
The mice have gnawed the portieres
OF gobelln tapestry.
But we have spent the heated term
At Hencoop-by-the-Sea.
The grand pianos wires I find,
Are just bunch of rust;
The bric-a-brac in every room
Is gray with weeks Of dust.
] left the bathroom gas turned on,
The bill will bankrupt me.
But we have spent the summer months
At Hencoop-by-the
The eat is dead-we locked her In
The day we went away
And burglars forced the kitchen door
With none TO say them nay,
They took onr winter clothes and set
OF silver flagree
We left behind us when we went
To Hencoop.by theSea
We did not have a joyous time
The truth must be confessed
The folks we met were richer far
Than we. and better dressed
they Snubbed us, too, and left us out
or tennis, talk. and tea,
Eut we nave spent the season, though,
At Hencoop-by-the-S Sea.
-Minna Irving In New York Times.
49,
-
The shortcake halts moment on its way
The watermelon hath a henceward trend,
me ,r, cantaloupe drops In; but not TO stay
The prune alone is faithful To the end.
An Outrage.
Club women in Boston" said the head
line.
Dear, dear" commented the near
sighted man unable to read the context.
Il never would have thought it posi-
BILE. Why. the very worst we do in
Philadelphia is to neglect to give 'em a
seat. Philadelphia Ledger.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23

Mrs. Nokoyne-Please buy me a new
hat. 1t will set all my friends TO talking.
Mr.. Nokoyne-Yes. and it'll set an
other bill collector walking.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
JOHN JENKINS0N,
AT Home at Last. y
- Philadelphia Ledger.
The Terrors of English.

The Terrors of English
II an $ and an | and an o and a L,
With an y Mt the end spell Su.
And an II aud Y and an spell l.
Pray what is a speller 10 doy
Then II also an S and an l and a
And II f II spell side.
There's nothing much left for speller to
do
But 80 commit Siouxeyesighed
Success Magazine
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
Quite Right.

After ALL it pays to be honest"
Yes. onlv----"
"Only whaty'
You can't always be certain whom il
pays. Nashville American.
-
The ParSon--I intend to pray that you
may forgive Casey for throwing that
brick M you.
The Patient-Mebbe yer riv'rence 'ud
he saving tonne if ye'd wait till OF git
well. and then pray for Casey.--Sloper 5.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23

He-Dearest, viii YOU marry me!
She-No; / could never marry a man
who has expressed such narrow-minded
views regarding divorce as you have.
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
Ethereal VS.. Mundane.

Two men sat on a viaduct bench one
starry evening last week. Through pow
Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-10-23
Comparison of Figures.

How well the plan has succeeded in
reducing the number of arrests is shown
in the following table. which covers the
period from the time it was put into
effect to September 1
d
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1908-07-24
pEYTONIA

Rev. j. j. Griffin preached at
Loutre church on the second Sat =
urday and Sunday in this month.
Rev. Rufus w. Hunley and tie
widow Hunley visited at Mrs +.
Mary Christians one day net
very long ago.
Mrs. Robert w. Penn visited at
Rev. Rufus w. Hunley's in tt
evening OF the 18th inst.
Your correspondent visited at
Rev. Rufus w. Hunley's Frida y
evening.
Rev. Rufus w. Hunley filed th 9
appointment Of Rev. Gibbs at
New Hope church, northwest of
Montgomery Saturday and Sun
day.
Miss Anna Hudnall and tw o
brothers, who live with their
father, Joseph R. Hudnall, north
of MILESTONE creek. visited at
Thomas j.. Powell's not long ago.
Mrs. James HI. Hall visited st
Samuel B. Weeks Sunday
evening.
Miss Beulah Hall is visiting at
Doren Halls in this county.
Mrs. Luke Penn and three child
rem visited relatives near Wells
vile recently.
Mrs. Nancy NJ. Keele staid with
Mrs. Tabitha HUXLEY, while Rev
Rufus w. Hunley was absent
recently.
Shelor F. Powell aud his daugh !.
ter, Miss Beulah Powell of Dan :
VILE visited his son Thomas j.
Powell and family OF this neigh.
borhood Sunday.
Miss Pearley Penn and sister
and two children OF Mr.. aud Mrs
The Montgomery tribune. (Montgomery City, Mo.) 1892-1910, 1908-07-24

Most me a. the chaatssq1A
b treat many from here at
&c led shr picale a, Nc~ rfsIton
Saturday.
D9n't forge. the basket dinner
here Sunday. Preaching sa,Ur-
DAY night aud sunday.
Picnic at T:uxton July p, 1903.
Miss Eliza Fhcker Of ST. Louis
IL visiting At hons.
We are delighted to announce
that Mr.. Holch, who was hurt Is
again able TO attend to his Sum
day school work.
G. X. Adyiotte aud his mother
entertained Mrs. Beck and family
Sunday.
Is. r. Hancock OF New Tru xton
attended Sunday School here
Sunday.
Little Gustie Jackson was very
sick last week but is slowly inn
proving.
Misses Lee Len and Mae
Flicker visited Miss Dora Terry
Sunday.
Robe Terry of ST. Louis is Wis =
ting home folks now.
Mr.. Fodderhase was in this
locality Sunday.
What a delightful week we
will have visiting friends and at.
tending the Montgomery Chau :
tau4ua.
Ed Spencer and family of Fer.
guson visited j. w. Bolton last
week.
Mrs. Reisch has returned from 4
short visit to relatives ia Mexico.
John Hancock of st. Louis il
visiting here.
Miss Lille Strack visited til,
Misses Cheepman Sunday.
DR.. Wyatt and wife are thu
proud parents OF a baby gin
born July 10.
THE DONKEY.