Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-05-28
How a sIdewise poa Trots.

the morning of a summer day, the
people were the amiable lOafers-and
Old Baumgartner The person he was
discoursing about was his son Sepheni-
jah. l am not sure that the name
was not the ripe fruit of his fathers
fancy-with, perhaps, the Scriptural
suggestion which is likely to be pres
ent in the affairs of a Pennsylvania
German-whether a COMMUNICATE or
not-even if he live in Maryland.
"Yas-always last; especial at fu-
nerals and weddings. Except his own
he's sure to be on time at his own
funeral. Right out in 'front.' Hah?
But sometimes he misses his wedding.
Why, l knowed a feller-yous all
knOwed him, begOshens!-thatd didn't
git there tell another felleTd married
her-'bout mOrnn a year afterward.
Wasn't it mOre'n a year, boys? Vas
Bill Eisenkrout. Or, now, was it his
brother-BaltZer IrOn-Cabbage? Seems
to me now like it was BaltZ. Some
sing wiss a B at the front end, any
how"
Henry Wasserman difhdently init
mated that there was a curious but
satisfactory element of safety in being
Iast-a "fastuacht" in their language,
in fact. Those in front were the ones
usually hurt in railroad accidents, Al.
exander Althoff remembered.
Safer" cried the speaker "Of
course! But for why-say, for why?"
Old Baumgartner challenged defiantly.
No one answered and he let several
impressive minutes intervene.
You don't know! Hang you, none
of yous knows! Well-because he
amt there when anysing occurs-al-
ways a little late!"
They all agreed with him by a series
of sage mods.
But, felIers, the worst is about
counting. It's no way to be always
late. Everybody else gifts there first
and it's messing for the fastnaCEt but
weeping and wailing and crashing of
the teeth. And mebby the other Teller
gifts considerable happiness-and
good farm"
There was complaint in the old
mans voice, and they knew that he
meant his own son Seffy. To add to
their embarrassment, this same son
was now appearing over the Lustich
lillian oppOTtune moment for
pleasing DEPRESSION. For you must be
told early concerning Old Baumgart-
ner's longing for certain lands, tene-
ments and hcreditaments-using his
own phrase-Which were not his own,
but which adjOined his. 1t had passed
into a proyerb of the vicinage; indeed,
though the property in question be-
longed to one Sarah Pressed, it was
known collOquially as "Baumgartaer's
Yearn"
And the reason Of it was this: Be-
tween his own farm and the public
road (and the railroad station when
it came) lay the fairest meadow-land
farmers eye had ever rested upon.
q am speaking again for the father
Of Seffy and with his hyperbOle.)
Save in one particular, it was like an
enemy's beautiful territory lying be-
tween ones less beautiful own and the
open sea-keeping one poor inlander
who is mad for the seas-whose crops
must either pass across the land of his
adversary and pay tithes to him, or
go by long distances around him at the
cost Of greater tithes to the soulIess
owners of the urnpikes-who agra
vatingly fix gate each way to make
their tithes more sure. So, l say, il
was like having the territory Of his
enemy lying between him and deeI
water-save, as l have also said, in
one particular to wit: that the owner
the Sarah Pressed / have mentioned
was not Old Baumgartners enemy
In fact, they were tremendous
friends. And it was by this friendship
and one other thing which l mean Il
mention later-that Old Baumgartnel
hoped, before he died, to attain the
wish of his life, and see, not only the
Elysian pasture-ield, but the whole
of the adjoining farm, with the linz
fences down, part of his. The othe
thing | promised to mention as an ali
to this ambitiOn-was Seffy. And
since the said Sarah was Of nearly tn
same age as Seffy, perhaps / nee,
not explain further, except to say tina
the only obstruction the old man coul
see now to acquiring title by marriag
was-Seffy himself. He was, and a
ways had been, afraid of girls-es
pecially such aggressive, Irritation.
pretty and tempestuous girls as thi
Sarah.
These things, however, were hered
tary with the girl. 1t was historical
in fact, that, during the life of Sarah
good-looking father, so importunat
had been Old Baumgartner for tn
purchase of at least the meadow
he could not have ventured at tina
time-and so obstinate had been tn
father of the present owner-(he ha
red hair precisely as his daughte
had)-that they had come 10 blow
about 1t to the discontinue of Oh
Baumgartner; and, afterward, they di
not speak. Yet, when the loafers f;
the store laughed, Baumgartner swol
that he would nevertheless, have tn;
pasture before he died.
But, then, as if fate, too, WEI
against him, the railroad was bull
and its station was placed so that II
Pressed farm lay directly between
and him, and of course the life" wei
more and more III the direction of IL
station-left him more and more 'o
of it"-and made him poorer and poe
er, and Pressed richer and richer. An
when the store laughed at that, BauI
GARNER swore that he would posse
half of the farm before he died; al
fc milf of