Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-20

Se'N, LoNS SHSJ VIII w NSIN
well, but where's the tin bucket that
you took ava wi your -
Porter Emerson Browne came into
the office yesterday. He had been .ut
In the country for a week and was
very cheerful. Just as he was leaving,
he said: "Did you hear about that
man who died the other day and lief,
all he had. to the orphana ?"
NO. some one answ red. "Eow
much did he leave?
Twelve children.
Mr.. Browne left, too.
An old negro preacher gave AS his
text, "De tree is known by his fruit,
an hit des impossible ter shake de
possum down.
After the benediction an old brother
said to him:
81 never knowed befo' dat such
text wuz in de Bible.''
WE'LL" admitted the preacher,
chit amt 'xactly sot down Getaways.
l th'owed in de possum ter hit de in
telligence er my congregation -
81 never discuss marriage said
the late Gen. Fitzhugh Lee, without
thinking of an old colored preacher in
my state who was addressing his dark
skinned congregation, when a white
man arose in the back of the building
Mr.. Preacher, said the white
man, you are talking about Cain and
you say he got married IN the land of
Nod. after he killed Abel. But the
Bible mentions only Adam and Eve as
being on earth at that time. Who,
then, did Cam marry?'
"The colored preacher snorted with
unfelgned contempt. HUH he said
you hear dat, bredern an sisters ?
You hear dat fool question am axed
CAIN he went to de land O. Nod just
as de Good Book tells us, an in de
land O. Nod, Cain gifts so law an SO
shit less dat he up an marries gal
O. one o. dem no count pore white
trash families dot de inspired apostle
didn't consider fittin' to mention in de
Holy Word"
A 7-year old had a great appetite
for buckwheat cakes, and could stow
away an amazing lumber. One morn
ing his grandfather, who was watch
ing the performance, said:
"Bave you ever in your life had all
buckwheat cakes that you could eat?''
eyes SIR" replied the by. "Lots
OF times I've felt I'd had enough"
''How do you tell when you have
had enough?"
81 just keep on eating until l get
a pain and then I eat one more to
MAKE sure."
Winthrop E. Stone, president of
Purdue university, In an address on
Lafayette said of ignorance:
Ignorance makes all it touches
ridiculous. Nothing rot even culture
is immune to its attacks. Did you
ever hear of the ignorant millionaire 8
library?
"Well, there was millionaire, a
cattle man who led a visitor into a
room lined with thousands of volumes.
'Sse them books?' he said.
Yes said the visitor.
" 'They all bound in calf ain t
they?'
Yes the visitor agreed; they
seem to have uniform binding
1.-The millionaire chuckled proudly.
We'll sir me said, 4 killed al
them calves myself
A teacher In one uf the primary
grades of the public school had noticed
d striking platunlc friendship that
existed between Tommy and little
Mary, two of her pupils.
Tommy was bright enough young
ster, but he wasn't disposed to prose-
cute his studies with much of a venge-
mace, and his teacher saw that unless
he got hustle on him before the end
of the year ne wouldn't be promoted.
"You must study harder she told
him, cor else you won't pass. Huw
would you like to stay back in this
grade another year and have little
Mary 60 ahead of vou?"
"Aw.' says Tommy, in blase
tone, 81 guess there"ll be other little
Marys."
"Have you ever been bankrupt p"
asked the counsel.
t'I have not.
"Now, be CAREFUL admonished
the lawyer, with raised finger. did
you ever stop PAYMENT
yes"
"Ah, l thought we should get at
the TRUTH" observed the counsel,
with an unpleasant smile. "When
did this suspen sion of payment occur ?"
tWhen Il had paid all l owed"
was the naive reply of the plaintiff. -
A Georgia editor was asked: "Do
hogs pay?" He replied: "A good
many do not. They take the paper
for several years and then have the
postmaster mark it refused or 'ad-