The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-17
INCISNE IRWIN
TALKS AND WORKS
Manager of Many Moods
Strictly on the
Job.
SmoothS Diamond and Calls
James While PraiSing
Team.

Yes, our team is a good one. Great
Caeser. James. can't you fill up those
holes in left field? We wilI-no, those
holes way out, Yes-tr'
This would appear to be incoherent.
II would tend 10 show the utterer a man
of unsound mind. Yet that Is not the
puIport
The above gems OF thought were de-
livered by Manager Irwin yesterday
while he was engaged in directing the
mutual Improvement OF outfield and in
held at the new Union League grounGs.
Manager Irwin is a versatile man. He
is creature OF moods, and yet he is
blessed with a strenuoUsness which
threatens TO make him President some
day, If he isn't careful. He attended to
the interviewer. the rollers. the helpers.
the carpenters, the horses. and countless
other things and beings, and then
mopped his lofty brow and sighed for
more work
Found With Spyglsss.
The seeker after truth discovered the
illustrious manager Of Washington's
new Union League team at the ball
park; or rather. 10 be exact, no was dis
covered with the aid Of an assistant
helper and a spyglsss after the seeker
had given up hope. He was off in the
distance showing numerous husky and
nervous cOlOred Iaborers the gentle art
Of chuCKins rocks over a ten-foOt fence.
The seeker after truth. still keeping
the assistant helper and the spyglaSs
at his side. walked for a mile or so
and eventually caught up with the &C
tive and teverish Irwin.
will the team practice before the
game today gasped the seeker
We'll Of all the blame fools" began
Manager Irwin severely.
StartIes the Seeker.
The seeker jumped nervously but with
out cause Manager Irwin was not adj
dressing him. He was commenting on
the mental ability OF vexed negro who
was assidUously endeavoring TO drive
q pe-pleXcd and aggravated mule over
pill Of lumber.
Having offered sundry prophecies as
10 the colored ones probable future and
discussed 70 some length his self-evideut
inability to act as the guiding spirit OF
"a Missouri mule, Mr.. Irwin turned on
the appTehensive interviewer.
'HOWdydedoo," he said going "a
have good day? IN huh
Ky this time the interviewer had
slightly recovered from the effects of
his long and hilly walk 10 left field and
was in a mood 70 ask questions.
DO YOU think" he began. Then
he turned and n look Of sad reproach
crerspread his features.
Still Hunt fer Second.
Manager Irwin was hopping off in the
direction of second base with a steu
esthetic elephant. Arriving there he Of
fered pointed, decisive suggestions to a
gentleman who with the aid OF a square
and much language Of an irrelevant
nature was striving TO locate the spci
where second base ought to be-
Again the interviewer caught I'D with
the athletic uanager-but IL was a fool
ish waste Of energy. Manager Irwin
WAS on in The direction Of center field
and was chasing a roller, four excited
horses and TWO highly perturbed col
ored drivers round and round in short
circles. The drivers and horses led
for Two lars. and then Manager Irwin
nd pointed out to them the folly Ct
their method Of smoothing of Il dia-
mond.
Then he turned around and trotted
he was purple in the face At a person
GnylSibIe) who seemed TO be about a
half mile beyond the range Of the hui
man voice.
Unruffled Temperament.
1t is a perfectly lovely day" muir
INJURED Mr. Irwin calmly as he drew up
beside the interviewer
The interviewer felt like laying down
on his back and kicking his legs IN the
air and yelling for ice water. but. re-
Numbering the steel rollers. he re-
strained himself.
Washington" continued Mr.. Irwin
chcerfully. lis going to have a mighty
good team and mighty good grounds
we are spending 10000 CD for those
grounds
Washington is going to" ven
. tured the interviewer.
Walls Loudly for James.
Fiji up the holes" roared Manager
Irwin. 'Ja-a-ames fill up those holes -
Evidently James didn't I'LL to the
satisfaction of the irate Irwin. He
stopped and commenced telling James
several things about himself that had
probably never occurred to James be-
fore After that he got in - habit OF
bawling at James at intervals of TWEEN
" seconds until the interviewer felt a
positive aEtipathy for James.
How will the team manage TO play
on the grounds today?" demanded the
interviewer violently. He had to be
violent or he couldn't get his remarks
half finished
James" walled Manager Irwin plain
lively. James, why don't you fix those
holes2'
me interviewer damned his hat firm
" on his head and ran, ran like a man
chased by evil spirit, ran for the car
and for home.
Come again. yelled Irwin az he
passed through the gates.
"I will" breathed the interviewer.
fervidly. Il will. but not until the
grounds are finished
THE PRINCE OF PESSIMISTS.