Evening star., 1908-01-19

man. who PLAYED such havoc with the
Philistfnes. has twepty-three representa-
tives in the service OF the government.
The, wise Solomon has five. but there are
regiments who believe they are far SUI
perior In intellect to the wise man Poor
old Lazarus. he who had such a rocky
road in Bible DAYS. had a c!ncli compared
to what some of tire government clerks
would make II appear they have. lie
has only one namesake laboring for Uncle
Sam and he receives $1,000 annually.
Thomas Z. Job. a referee in bankruptcy.
is the only desce ndant Of the afflicted
but patient Job OF Holy Writ. Nearly
all the Bible characters are represented.
There is even one Jesus. farmer in the
Indian service AT the Shoshone agency.
Wyoming.
A look over the hired help in the Indian
service discloses such names as No Ears,
No Wood. No Gun. no Eyes. No Meat
No Powder. No Arrow, No Fire. No
Water. Iron. Necklace. Iron Thunder.
Iron Horse. Iron Dog. Big Gun. Big
Squaw. Big Teeth. Big Deer. Big Dog
Big Mouth. Kicking Horse. Kicking Deer.
kicking Ora shopper. Kicking Niger.
Little Walkingstlck. Little Medicine. Take
the Hat. Long Whiskers. Fire Cloak.
Cali a Man. Was Going to Move but
Didn't.
|. In thu National Museum ana Smithsoni-
an Institution there are Kings. Queens.
Millers. Cooks. brakes. Volts. Earis.
Birds. and one Looney.
The list does not show dollars o. dimes.
but there is one hunk OF Silver a United
States Commissioner at Buffalo, y. I.
Gold and money are very much in evi-
dence while Diamonds. Pearls. stones and
one Ruby can be found. In the line or
musical Instruments there is quite cot
lection Horns and Hornblowers. F1fes and
Fifers. Fiddles but no Fiddlers: Harps
and Harpers, an Organ. but no Piano:
Drums and Drummers. Bells and Bell
ringers one Either. oas Flute, one Cor
net three Bugles. and one batch OF Music.
There are two Pews for thirty Churches
ber of Parsons Priests. Popes, Deacons,
Elders Bishops and Ministers. but no
common Prsacheis.
While a bed does not appear. there are
three Springs, two Pillows, one Bolster.
three Quilts. seven Comforts. three
Sheets. one Spread and Cases for the
Pillows.
Eight Savages are in the employ of the
government ard they have Guns. Can
mons. Knives. Di:ks. RaZors. Shells. Shot.
Bullets Powder, Balls. Swords, Shieids'
Armors and Arrows.
There are nine Doolittles and there are
hundreds who try to do less. while Shirk,
Dodge. Hide, Refuse. Grumbie, Soldier
Slack. Slow Smirk. Stop. Halt Behind.
Loaf, Lie. Linger Retreat and various
other characters are in evidence
They are, twenty-siX Rushes. and they
travel with Pull, Fleet. Fast Forward.
Willing. Quick, Peart. Hasty. Early. Ear
nest, Smart Lively. Victors and Runners.
You can also find those who are Shy.
Polite, Pleasant, Proud, Cool. Sitters.
Stuck, Wild Witty, Minors. Messengers
Merry. Blows. Blowhards quite numer-
ous) Loud, Loney. Lucky. Backward
Sour and every other condition.
Only one Star is TO oe found. but there
are many Moons. two Suns and eight
Sundays There are Mondays and Fiji
days. but the other days Of the week are
not represented. March. May and June
are the only months. but Souths, Norths.
Vests and Easts are in evidence.
In the entire list there does not appeal
but one Sponge. but there are many who
belong to this tribe. Mr.. Snow has com
pany with Frost. Slaet, Hail. Ice BLIZZARD
and one fellow named Hot takes comfort
In the fact that there are others who are
Warm Blister. Melts. Burns and Scorches
Damn is not pretty name. but it may
be considered preferable to Daman ana
Goldammer.
1t is somewhat surprising 10 find only
one Partisan In such a lot. Without a
pany with Frost. Sect. Hail, Ice, Blizzard
seven Rrats, while Kids are In abundance
In the Fish line Uncle Sam has Herrin
Perch. Bass. Trout. Rock Roe. Salmon
Minnows. Pike, Eel Haddock, Floun.
dars. Grabs and Oysters-that is. if crabs
and oysters are fish, There are plenty ol
Cooks with lots to cook-Ham, Bacon
Bread. Coffee, Onions. Maccaroni. Dates
Apples. Peaches. P.ums. Pears and vari
Gus other things, including Chestnuts
The only Orange is minor under In
structions at the Washington navy yard.
If you wish something TO drink you
can take Your choice of Beer. Wine, Ale
Porter Hook. Sherry. Brandy, Stout. Bit
ters Water but no straight whisky.
These can be had by Beck, Nod OF
Wink.
\
The animal kingdom-no nature fake
has a Bull Cow. Heifer. Mares. Colts,
Hogs. Shoats, Piggs and Fowls of every
description.
There is one Fewelothes and a young
lady is Shortsleeves. but she is not classed
with the Indian maiden whose name is
Laura No Dress.
There are four Justices and fourteen
Judses. but only one Just. although there
ara two lawyers. with scores OF Laws.
While there are Graves and Collins. there
are no Deaths or Undertakers. Trusts
are many, and there are one Getall and
two Getmore.
Hope. Faith and Charity draw their
salaries regularly with little concern for
Tears. Sorrows. Pains. Losses. Fears and
Rerefts Some are Glad, While others are
G!adder. There are regiments of Moores
and several Mushmores. Mr.. Mouth taxes
a rear seat for AllInouth. Hugs and Hug
gers go hand in hand. while Smack
works along with Kisses. There are those
who are Worse and one Worst. A couple
of BuZza rds. male and female. grace the
rolls. A ing Is a hodcarrier at the navy
yard. The lighthouse service has a
Harddlinker. and Mr.. Beer is also in the
same service. Thirty-two Midgets aie
employed by the government. Nine are
Merry and one Sad. Uncle Sam has one
Bell no bruises. bat several Wounds.
There are Lanplishters. but no lamps,
and Oilers without oil. fhirty-ons are
Strong and seven Weak Vic Elk carries
off the palm for the shortest name. and
an Indian. Baer and Deer Jumped Over
ft,a