The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-24
pRIFTWooD
m. nigh sehool. girls are lookini
sy PnIL '. AnMsrRoss

1 The high school girls are looking iongingly for vacation.
 the pS piggest I yet yet down this way. A Montgomery .liveryman wants tc | trade hearse for an auton1obile. Bet. inr in mandy nsR should he get reckless.
 Alabama. here we-rest for our girl are fairest and the best | Is 1t a sign of age or ansction fol to cali a man "uncler-Atchinsor Nsither-he might be running . pawn-shop.
 Honesty is the best policy-not pol itics. ~
 When that Philadeiphia COW witt 4 two tails turns tail, which way does she so? Buffalo Express. Round and around again. Willie! very much if he can really sfford 1t . Does your bathinx-suits 7
 Why does red-headed woman ai. ways refuse to cry at the saddess part of play? A woman will often dress in taste but where is the woman who'll dress | And now the ice-cream soda has been Introduced in Japan. Wel never thought 1t of the esteemed Japs. The Atlanta Constitution has an editorial on The April Full Moon. " There is no legislsti6n preventing the moon from getting full in Georgia II would seem. It is said that an Eskimo frequent ly' eats as much as twenty pounds of meat per day. Not in q boarding house however. Oh, no the head" of the family doesn't wear a merry-widow. For down right pity and disgust watch woman haul out and look ar her last spring hat one, tooth in her head and then indulge in the most biting sarcasm. Is there any parasrapher in the country who hasn't takeni Q pull ar Governor Hughes's wniskersf
 certain Montgomery, woman when
  nue with her daughter wass mistaken for the girls sister by a. young man who had met the girl .thesd day before. When 1t reached the old lady,s ears to call and the whole family is now as nice as pie to him.
 There is always something in the professional vocalist to. admire" says YesMand in some of 'ern 1t is the power of stopping.
 A new, society known as the Dream ers'' has heen formed. and its object is to kill everybody wna doesn't agree with 'em Now there's a bunch Of sweet-temeped lambs TOT you. We hereby tender the name of Aunt Car rie Nation for honorary. member. - ! stOp' and esuit. If. you should eaves-drop
 Any night
 Near any parlor
 t.s Where any light
 Is turned down low
 And a couple spoon
 What will you hear
 Her say real soon While on the sofa
 There they sit Is hfst "Oh Stop" and
 Then Now ouit!"
 These are the only
 Words you hear
 Fall from her lips
 So sweet and dear,
 You niuss her waist
 And spoil her hair 7
 (Now don't you laugh
 You've all been there.)
 So squeeze, her tight
 While the hours nit
 As she says .'Oh, Stop!"
 And then, Now. Quitp
 Just cast your eye around, you to- a sweeter. ioviier, daintier. more kiss. able, more beautiful, bIonder blondes, more bewitching. brunettisn. coquet- ish brunettes. more tantaiizing, titan haired Tessies prettier. bumper. straw berry-fed darlings than the rAellifer- rous- mouthed maidens of rnagnif1- cent Montgqrnery.-Montsomery Ad- vertiser. ttaf., our esteemed Montgomery contempo- rary for all that he says about the female lovliness that ldwells in the capital of Alabama. But there are some things that need explanation. berry blondes should feed on straw berries, but evidently the brunettes did not gather their beauty rom the same dish as the strawberry. blondes, as "strawberry fed" That may not be species of nature faking. but at the same time. 1t is trenching on the preserves of the breakfast food fac tories.-New Orleans World.
 The following letter was receiveo in our morning mall and we print 1t as it very cleverly and humorously ex- presses our sentiments exactly. But on the quiet, W. c. M, are you a mar mied man?
 Montgomery, Ala, April, s2nd, 1905. Mir. Phil. Armstrong, Rumorist and Poet.
 Montgomery Advertiser.
 Dear Literary Friend. You are "hard-hitter." Am in hopes for the humanity's sake. that you will be fortunate enough to Knock out that ridiculous stlye the Merry -wid- ow hat through your valuable column. They have almost become a nuisance | in our midst. When at church we cannot see the pastor expound the truths.g after pur- l chasing a ticket to the theatre, we cannot see the actors perform. Nor can, the passersby pass two of them abreast on the sidewalk They have to get out in the street rain or shine and let the fair damsels parade and ,;T q The Times" SThe Times" what under stand the party that got up this style that Is creating so much comment throughout the press. is in the acylum now.
 Your Admirins F Trissd .
 AN.ACE nE pp0cpwas