Free press., 1908-05-30
FAMILY
SKELETONS
CCopyright.)
BY Thomas Mason.

luOI0 10 OHIy one OF US.
1t was midnight in the luxurious
country mansion, the home of one %
our wealthiest and most important cit
liens.
That comes" said the second fam
lily skeleton, from tradition. There
was time when there was only one
of US. He served for all purposes. He
lived in a closet most of the time, and
was dragged forth only on state oc-
casions-hence the delusion that many
entertain to-day"
They forget entirely" said the
third family skeleton, that this is a
time of specialists. AS if, in this
enlightened age, one skeleton could
do the business for this family"
At which sally, every one of them,
of course, laughed
Why" said the fourth family skel-
eton, "as a matter of fact, it takes a
syndicate
The first family skeleton raped on
the table with his right metatarsa1.
Now, gentlemen" he said, "to busi-
ness. The daughter of the house, as
you all know, comes of age tomorrow.
We must decide what is to be done
with her. First, then, let her be
brought down here. Four of you will
go upstairs and get her,
At this, four of the family skeletons
filed solemnly out of the room. 81
!ently, they ascended the stairs. 81
lently, they entered the room where
the sleeping daughter of the house lay
dreaming. Her lips, slightly parted,
were as red as June roses; her cheeks,
full and round, held the lambent glow
of health. Her throat, as it heaved
with each inspiration, was white and
firm with curves of beauty.
The four skeletons stood, one at each
corner of the bed, and stared down at
her from eyeless sockets.
Il presume" said the skeleton at her
right hand, that if, within this osse-
Gus framework Of mine, there were
again rigged up and fastened to the
sides that thing entitled a heart, it
might beat responsively to this touch
ing sight. AS it is, I have no feeling
for her. Have you, brothers?"
The other skeletons grinned.
None" they replied in chorus, "but
the stern voice of our duty Where
duty calls us we must CO."
Then they lifted the sleeping girl
and bore her down to their compan-
ions. And they laid her quite correct
~ and skilfully on the table. Cover
cred with the white, silken sheet, she
lay there, a central figure of inno-
cence and purity.
and now," said the head skele-
ton, before assigning ourselves to our
respective stations, let US first dag
nose this case. Just what ia the mat
ter with this fair young thing?"
First, money" said the second skel-
eton. "Her father, by religiously rob-
bing the widows and orphans, bought
for her mother a place in society
which she is about to succeed to. Mon
ey has made her selfish, cruel and
artificial"
Good" said the head skeleton.
Number three, what else is the mat
ter with her?"
Defective education said number
three, promptly "She can speak
French, read and play music, drive
four-in-hand, and mix all kinds of
drinks. But her character is anemic.
That is, her moral perceptions have
been blighted She imagines that
the world was made for her purpose,
whereas she was made for the world
If she knew it,
Enough" said the head skeleton.
Now, gentlemen, once more to busi-
ness. Remember that there is work
for willing bones to do. shall now
assign you to your several tasks"
Turning to the second skeleton on |
his right, he said:
You will have charge of her social |
that nothing interferes
with it. Teach her to know when to |
snub, when to grovel-teach her when
to crush
"And to you"-turning to number |
three-"will be assigned her matri- |
monial ventures-whom to marry, how |
much to marry and how often. See
that you do not neglect your task, for
upon much marrying depends the
whole fabric of social success.
And to you"-turning to number
four-"will be left the sacred rights of
the children. In the first place, see
that there are none. They are not only
bad form, but in her station of life so
useless. Do your duty, therefore, and
fail not.
"And to you"-turning to number
dve-"must be left the task Of pre-
serving her beauty. Keep her natural
complexion going as long as possible,
and don't resort to artificial methods
until hygiene fails. Above all, don't
bleach her hair until absolutely neces-
sary. That is to say, work nature as
ong as possible, and substitute art
,nly at critical points
And to the rest of you, look alive
md keep Ter restless and relentless,
With a profound sense of the value of
he complex, and a true love for the
rival. Now take her away, with my
blessing"
The next morning the daughter of