The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-29
DRiFTWo0D
nY PHIL V. AnMSThoNe.

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 nY PHIL H. ARMSTRONG. wonder if its mere moaesty tha. keeps some people from telling the naked truth.
 Now's the time of. year to do your spring cleaning-and give the stove pipe elbow room.
 A Connecticut preacher says that progressive euchre Is very bad on ones morals. IL certainly IS when one loses.
 Having nothing else to kick about. the Georgia peach growers are growl- Ing because there will be. so many down.
 A man kicks like a bay steer if his poor little wife who makes daily ai- lowance for him, asks for teeny- weeny monthly allowance for herself.
 The head of the family often thinks what fine thing it would be if all those physical culture motions his daughter goes through at college could be expended upon the handle of a broom or a rolling pin M A Philadelphia doctor says no girl should kiss a man with beard, be- cause boards conceal dangerous mi-
 
 the barber. will see this.
 Baseball n.tchers are not always full of milk-sometimes it's something a bit stronger.
 Oh. yes-tFie man who beats his way through the world has too tender a heart to beat a poor. dirty carpet. Life is full of trials. and they worry everybody but the lawyer who makes his living out of 'em.
 Even when all other tradesmen are gone the cobbier will last.
 Wonder if Harry Chadwick. the fath- CT of baseball. ever paused to consider the grandmother part of it?
 Oklahoma Is now claiming to be the greatest State in the Union. My-what airs those youngsters do put on some-
 Clothes make the man"-mad.
 Dr. Abbott says "the power of con- versation is the highest accomplish have"
 Why. Doc. they're Jes' naturally born With that prerogative and they exert 1t
 Have you forgotten Harry Thaw3 Though out of his mind the chances are that he will be out of the asylum soon.
 The Atlanta Georgian is advertising a product called Bud" that is made by the Atlanta brewery.
 We just have a faint suspicion that Bud" Wiser.
 We just can't help from rising to re- mark. while we think of 1t, that the meliferous-mouthedM Montgomery maids in their spring clothes for beauty and towns resemble what is left from a ten-dollar bill after you spend ss.7o. esSsse Sa edpsss aasK saSs N ee.mss ssft sa whisketless in order to safeguard the public health. Thus the germ theory invades the romantic domain of the main. is' Eood--the expression. we mean.
 Grand old Texass There Would surely surely should 'fn claim Heavenly" Houston. HsS s'e's not play trusnt though you often f mag @ inc you are.
 Of course the postmaster is a man of
 When a man trys to marry school BlTl, .T0tnoMDST ne may nave mercy come early to avoid the rush. It, doesn't worry an actor half as much to hold down the boards as it One time you get absolutely no sym pathy Is when you strike gentle trot down the street after your hat.
 Wonder if MT. Cake. candidate for the United States Senate from Oregon, when properly heated, will rise.
 The peek-a-boo waists this season look more like a fish net than ever and there are just as many suckers to be caught as formerly.
 Atlanta appears to be very much az itated over her little 0oe) brown jug. It's awfuliy sweet of you to go out and catch a nice mess of fish. but when you come home and ask your wife to clean 'em-you are a horrid brute.
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 Spring Cleaning.
 Take the stove-pipe down and place it in the attic high above. then re- move the legs from underneath the lit- tie parlor stove. Smear your face and hands and shirt front with the eoot as black as tar. fall from off the chair you stand on. smash the goldfish and the far. mash the cat and hurt the baby kick the dog and scare your wife start your moth CT -in- Jaw to talking isn't this the simple life? Get ham mer. pull the tacks out. take the car