The Washington herald., 1908-02-09


life you were really decent enough to
take your lawful wife to the theater.
I did enjoy II so, dear think that Mr..
Skinner is so clever; the way he rolls
his eyes and shows his legs is simply
perfect. wisht you was as handsome
as he is. Job-then, perhaps, Emily
wouldn't have a turned-up nose. nor
little Haley have a cast In his left eye.
Poor boy, I'm so sorry for him; when
he grows up and goes 10 make love 20
girl-fOr I suppose he'll be Just as big
a fool as his father was-she won't
know whether he's looking at her. or
admiring her shoes. Wasn't it too bad
about the party this afteTnoon-what.
didn't you hear? Little Haley was in
vlted over to the Jenldnses for tea and
ice cream. and you know what a shy
little darling he is That stupid hulk Of
a Jenkins went to little Haley and told
him 10 make himself at home. and so
the boy came trotting off home and he
hadn't had any tea neither. ] just had
TO console him some way, 50 I gave him
yesterday that were burned in the bak-
Ing. lie was 80 delighted,
But about the show-Tm glad you
took me, and now I'm glad we're home
again. ] do so want you to sit up and
tell me all about things When you get
started on the news Of the week. Job.
you're ever so entertaining: TO listen to
you is Just as good as reading the Lit
erary Digestion, or whatever the name
Of that paper is. People can say all
they please about husbands being stupid,
but the truth Of the matter is. Job,
that I love you Just as well as if you
had real good sense. Of course, I must
say that you sometimes don't let me
get a word in edgewise, but I reckon
that's my own fault I wish yOud d read
what Master Henry Watterson had 10
say the other day on Let the women
talk'-if you'd only let me talk some
times, Job and pay heed To what 7 say
you'd be better OF in a great many
ways, I can tell you
Il wonder how you'd be if you were like
that Scotchman I've been reading about
who had 100 wives-just think Of it; I'll
bet he couldn't talk to them as you talk
20 me, Job. and I reckon they wouldn't
stand for his going off to sleep just
when they wanted 20 discuss the affairs
OF the day, On, Job, isn't 1t simply aw-
ful about that man StiIlings and the
Government Printing Officer I've Just
been studying il awful hard and trying
TO understand it. I wish you'd tell me
what's wrong OF course. 7 know that
Mr. Stilings is fat, but he can't help
that; that's just another fault Of his
system. I suppose or course. il must
be pretty hard for the Public Printer TO
keep quite straight having 10 read all
that copy for the Congressional Record
and print al those stories about people
making speeches who never spoke at
all ] think It's ine example OF 'shun
evil example Seems to ne, Job, that
If you were getting a salary OF sJ0)0 a
year and had $ 5.C00.O00 10 spend Ia see
to it that you didn't waste any Of it on
an old audit system. No wonder the
President got mad. OF course. they say
now that the Public Printer was a
friend Of Mr. Loeb. but it seems to ne
that Mr. Loeb gets blamed for every
thing that goes wrong with the admin
istTation-even 10 the adjectives that get
into the Presidents messages. Ny, but
III bet he has 10 study the dictionary
somei
zone thing I can't understand. Job, IS
this Chinese New Years business which
they've just been celebrating There's
only one year. II seems to me. and yet
the Chinese say that instead Of this be-
ing 1908. it's the year 4605. I wonder II
they've lived that much longer than We
have, or whether II just seems longer
because they don't know as much as we
do? Il really makes me feel quite young
again TO think how old the Chinese
must be.
Have you been paying much atten-
ton to politics. Job? I wonder what
they mean by hitching Hitchcock up
with Taft. and do you think it's true,
as Gala O'Laughlin says. that Wall
street is against President Roosevelt?
Il seems to ne that the Presidential
candidates press agents aren't working
any too hard these days-the only thing
I've heard Of them doing is getting Mr..
Taft's moving pictures into the scent
shows, and l can't see that that's going
TO make many votes, do you? ] wonder
they don't mention Charley Lands as a
Presidential possibility. I think he's
such a nice man; he's so young. too to
have such gray hair; but the Indiana
Landises were always handsome. I
think it's astonishing how much they
figure in the history OF the country;
there's one Of them running an Office
down Cuby-Way, and that other one
fined the Standard oil Company when
nobody else would do it, and now
here's Charley-I've always called him
Charley cause we're fellow Hoosiers-
the first man to get his brains to work
ing on the public printeryl I tell you.
the grand old State of Indianny IS al
ways to the front; first thing you know
we'll be hearing of Tom Taggart or
Harry New again!
haFe you Deen reading, JOB, about
Mr.. Thaw, up there in Matteawan?
The last thing 1 read about him was
that he was shoveling snow-not that
that's any particular hardship, for I
see that some of his friends, the chorus
ladies', shoveled the snow off the side
walks in front of the New York thea
ters, the other day. I hear that he's
just crazy to get out. but Mr. Littleton
won't let him. wonder if he'll go into
vaudeville when they release him. I
see that the price Of champagne has