davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

Mistuh Night Doctuh, yo' all'll git uh
pickshuh O. me dun goin' uhway rom
heah, an runnin',' the scared negro called
over his shoulder as he raced down u
street toward 18th: and the sculptor stood
in the middle of the car track and held
his sides until an approaching car came
near knocking him down.
''On another occasion, again at night,
while strolling on Pennsylvania avenue
this time. the sculptor met up with an
other negro who answered to the type
he wanted for a model.
See here, my man.. he said. blocking
the negro. you're the man I've been
looking for. I want to immortalize YOU
the sculptor used the long word for the
fun he got out of it in watching the
negros amazement over it. for ignorant
negroes marvel over big words more than
they do over near miracles in nature. L
wish to do you in stone. First in clay,
then in stone. / want to-
He didn't get any further with that
one, either. The negro believers in the
night doctor have all heard that after
they're killed and sold by the night doc
tors their bodies are picked for preser-
walton purposes in a fluid that causes
them, when the dissectors are through
with them. to turn to stone.
1.-The sculptor. by this time in urgent
need of a model for his negro soldier,
took after the fleeing negro to explain
the situation to him. Seeing this the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

Watterson's friend gazed at him reproach-
fully when he took these protective steps.
but the editor had his sense of duty to
answer to and he didn't mind.
But, for all of his wisdom, Mr.. Waiter
son himself was fooled by couple of the
poker fanciers on the third day out. A
couple of substantial seeming young
chaps, very respectful in their manner Of
address. engaged Mr.. Watterson in con-
versation at dinner that day. They were
youngish. clipperish-looking fellows Of
thirty-flve or 30. One Of them said that
he was a real estate man Of Tennessee,
and he ratified of lot of names that were
familiar to Col. Watterson. Amiable fell
low he appeared to be-. The other one
said he was engaged in the shipping trade
in Seattle. and he had pleasant ways
about him. too.
so. after dinner. observing that his
Kentucky companion was still glancing
eagerly into the card room every time
they passed it on their post-prandial con-
stitutional. Mr.. Watterson inadvertently
said to him:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08
NUDGE UNDER THE TABLE CAME TOO LATE

well. Mr. Watterson had to do every
thing but bounce something OFT his friend s
head to keep him out of a couple of per-
fectly obvious poker deadfalls before
they'd boarded the steamer at New York
at all. At the New York Hotel Col. Wat
terson had to keep a-hold Of his Ken
lucky friends arm every minute Of the
time to prevent him from organizing him
self into a committee Of one to form i'm
promptu draw fiestas from among the
crew of sharp-eyed good thing workers
that were hanging around the corridors of
the hostelry. waiting for nothing better
than arks of the style and cut of the
enthusiastic near-pokerist from Ken
lucky.
ION the steamer 1t was still worse, for
Mr.. Wattersons companion had a sort
of frank. come-on way about him that
caused the card sharks who were making
the voyage to gaze at him with positive
wolfishness. Three or four of them did
essay to buzz him to the sitting-in point.
but Col. Watterson produced his best ar
ticle Of glare and scared them off. Mr..
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

in motor car is intrepid and humorous"
said Washington geographer
AT a dinner in Lieut. Shackleton's
honor I once heard him say with
humorous glance toward several grizzled
explorers whose lives had been passed in
looking for the north pole:
After all. who was this Columbus that
we should make such fuss over him?
Surely. gentlemen. Columbus was an
overrated man. The task he performed
America the very first time he went to
look for it
William H. Theobald, whose remarkable
feats in the past made his name widely
known and terrible among smugglers, has
recently returned to the New York Gus
toms service, and in a discussion Of GUS
toms officers duties he said the other
day:
Zone must be shrewd. but not too
shrewd-otherwise one overreaches ones
self like Capt. Harrow Of Islesborough
Capt. Harrow Of 1sleborough was trad
ing at Key West In a small vessel. Bust
ness took him up the coast to Tampa bay.
and he bought twenty dozen chickens
from farmer at 81 dozen.
1.-The chickens were all sizes-some
few days old and no bigger than canary
birds: some fat and large like turkey
gobblers. The captain expected to make
a lot Of money out Of them. He was very
shrewd at q trade.
well. at Key West a hotel man came
aboard and looked the chickens over.
They are fine Birds he said. How
much?
IF you pick them out yourself said
Capt. Harrow, shrewdly, I'll have to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

in his head and one foot.
oh, come right in, Moses said tho
sculptor. pleasantly. But the big darky's
race showed the agony OF fear that had
seized him. He kept his gaze riveted
on the reclining clay figure upon which
tne aproned sculptor was working, and
big beads began to pop on his forehead
The sculptor read the meaning of the
fear expressed in the blacks eyes The
negro had if. of course, that he. the
night doctor. was working with the seal
pei over the body of somebody fresh
killed.
May Gawd ha' mussy on NAH nfgguh
soul" screamed the black, i'm a frenzy of
fear and then the sound of his voice
giving him release from his rootedness.
ne ieaped for the stairs. There were two
nights OF stairs, and the darby fell down
both of them, bowling.
Stop him! Stop him. I sayr called out
the sculptor from the top of the stairs.
and the janitor of the establishment
tackled the negro as he flew toward the
door. grappled with him and bore him TO
the ground. His terror increased 70
shriektng hysteria when the sculptor
trotted down the stairs in his working
rig. and the janitor had to put his hand
over the mans mouth to stop his howls
The sculptor was so disguised that he
ordered the man to be turned loose And
right then he stopped looking for negro
models
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

the things.
There were seven of the Argentine men
and the clerk pulled down and handed to
each of them a Teddy bear costing So
The South American sailors took tho
bears gingerly, and it really appeared
from their manner as if they were en-
barassed by this display of munificence--
which they no doubt were.
Now. are We dago scuttlebutters all
rugged OUT cordially inquired the second
coal HEAVIER. after settling for the Teddy
bears.
They grinned. and again inst!gated W
their leader. gave the man of the bunkers
the regular naval salute.
we've got nothin' on me, matey'
said the second coal HEAVIER to the other
one then. giving him a smashing wallop
in the back. and then the whole crowd.
the Americans in front filed out and
went into saloon next door to cement
friendship and things"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08
NIGHT

EE A n Italian sculptor of some re-
~ nown who was working In
. - Washington a few years ago.
competing for an order to build
soldiers monument, had some humorous
experiences in searching out models for
the soldiers in his design. He was using
the figures Of some negro soldiers. and 1t
was when he sought negro models FOR
these soldiers that he ran into some
diverting adventures" observed a man
who follows up. the doings of the art
world Of Washington.
THE sculptor couldn't have been ex-
pected TO know it, of course, but the
night doctor obsesses the minds of the
more ignorant blacks in Washington. The
night doctor, as we all understand here,
is the grisly chap who is supposed to
kill negroes after nightfall in order to
turn their bodies over to medical col
Iages for a profit. There are good
many Washington blacks who will keep
their distance, if, indeed, they don't bolt
for II, if addressed by a white person
pretty late on dark night For every
white man Is a night doctor to this more
ignorant class of Africans. Some OF
them really carry their razors for the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

that meant something. whereupon the
Kentucky friend. gazing upon the editor
with mute reproach, called his man. The
latter's flush. of course. took the big
stack of chips in the center of the table.
and just then all hands in the card room
got up to go to the evening meal and Col.
Watterson and his friend followed suit.
The two crooks went ahead and then
Col. Watterson pinned his friend to the
rail.
It's my fault. major he said to him.
i am responsible. ] am perfectly willing
that you should blame me- But, of course.
We play no more with those two fellows
They're thieves. / caught them red
handed in that last DEAL
AT first the coloners friend looked as.
tonished but as he heard the details he
began to loo. glum.
And So Mr.. Watterson concluded.
your poker playing on this voyage is at
an end
Mr.. Watterson's friend gazed in a dis
appointed. mournful sort of way at the
heaving sea. and then. turning a pleading
countenance to the editor. he broke out:
kunnel. don't yo' all break il up, for
Gawds sake: Why, man. there amt ary
other game that We can get into within
thousand miles O. heah, subj"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08
ETHIOPIAN ART

the people lined up at the street trans
fer station. he caught sight of a husky
black who it instantly occurred to him
was the exact man he wanted for a
model. This was before he was familiar
with the ways of the blacks in this sec
ton. and he went at his job in a way
that was all wrong. as he laughingly
acknowledged. He bounded off the car
just as it was about to start-the black
he had his eye on was waiting for a
downtown car-and dashing up to the
negro he took him by the lapel Of his
coat and said to him in his nervous.
foreignish way:
Just come over here. my man,
want you. 1 am going to make picture
of you
1.-The U street corner wasn't as we'll
lighted then as it is now, and the black
quailed under the close scrutiny in the
eyes of the sculptor.
"A pickshuh O. me?' he said hoarsely.
his eyes beginning to roll. ''Whaffo yo'
want uh pickshuh o me? Lego nah
coat, W'te man!
CT want a picture Of YOU explained
the sculptor. restraining his amusement.
because after I get the picture l mean
to carve you in everlasting stone. and
by this time the big blacks eyes were
popping. He yanked himself loose from
the grasp of the sculptor and started
away at lope.
"'Ef yo' all gifts uh pickshuh O. me.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

a square player-so that the man deal
ing them could get the right kind of
peek.
You see. it's pretty easy for a crooked
one to fill his confederate's hand when
a stripped deck is being used if the dealer
possesses the mechanical sleight-of-hand
to get away with 1T after he sees what
his side partner had in his fist The con-
federate who was accidentally on purpose
showing his cards to the alleged Ten
nesseean kept up great line Of conversa-
ton. directed mainly at Col. Watterson
and his friend while the play Mr.. Wat
terson was watching for came off; but 1t
didn't serve.
He discarded one card. and the dealer.
In d1scarding. made a ughtning-like flick
OF card from his own hand on to the
top OF the main pack. This was the card
to fill his mates flush. and. with strip
ped deck. a flush beats full house. Col.
Watterson didn't say a word, but he gave
his friend a warningful nudge under the
table.
But the friend was SO Immersed with
his ace full that he wholly ignored the
nudge and went right ahead betting his
head off on what looked to be the SPLEEN
did paners in his hand. Then Col Wat
terso" I'd to- give a kick under the table
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

black began to yell as he ran. and then
a policeman began to race after the
negro and the sculptor both. The sculp-
tor pulled up when he was shouted at
by the cop
"'Oi want t. know what's ailin' We?
Did tn coon frisk YEP the policeman
asked the sculptor, and the latter OF
course didn't understand the meaning Of
that sort Of slang
~ want that man. he started to ex-
plain to the policeman, for the purpose
Of
Well, Oi'l git him fr ye' painted the
cop. and away he went after the fleeing
negro, who was by that time turning a
corner. The policeman raped on the
pavement with his club and then blew his
whistle, and the policeman on another
beat heard the signals and saw the flee
ing negro bound his way and corralled
the man. There were slaty-gray or ashen
spots all over the breathless blacks face
when he was finally brought to where the
sculptor was standing.
ut was up to the sculptor then to ex-
plain to the two officers and to the negro
the nature of his difficulty, and how he
wanted the black to pose for him. But
the cops couldn't see it. and they roasted
the sculptor for running after an I'M
offending negro on the public street. One
of them said that he had the best notion
in the world to pinch the sculptor for it,
and maybe the sculptor would have been
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

grabbed had not friend who was known
to the officers strolled along just then and
fixed the matter up.
After that. in order to keep the sculp-
tor out Of trouble in his mOdel-hunting
essays. some of us endeavored to induce
him to delegate that part Of his task to
a competent and approved volunteer. But
the sculptor didn't like this method.
fearing that nobody else could know
just what he wanted in the way of
negro model. So we instructed him as to
a better way to approach such negroes AS
looked likely for his purpose. We told
him not to mention anything about pic
lures or stone or anything of that sort,
but just to tackle them and ask them if
they wanted work.
My man, do you want a job?' he
asked the next black he came upon
again at night-who looked as If he might
I'LL the bill.
"'Ah'm wukkin' now, boss the black
replied. suspiciously.
by his manner, however, the sculptor
managed to dispel the suspicion. and he
gave the negro the address of his studio,
asking him to drop around there the fol-
lowing afternoon. The next morning the
sculptor was busily engaged in modelling
a sarcophagus piece-a recumbent figure
when there was a timid tapping at his
door.
Enter the sculptor sang out and
the door was opened and the negro pushed
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

and the insignifcance OF your love will
stun YOU
so the lover commenced star gazing.
and all went we'll for a night or two.
Then, as he sat in his lonely tower with
mis- eye glued TO a telescope, the girl came
and put her white arms about his neck.
THAT night he gazed at the stars no
more. Astronomy. he saw. was no cure.
But love irked him and he sought out
an alchemist
Give me a philter.' he said. that will
cure me of love
THE alchemist smiled
There are many STORIES he said.
about philters OF this sort. but they are
all. young sir. Guack nostrums The only
love cure can give you is prussic acid
But the man shook his head. He did
not want to die. He wanted. with a free.
calm mind. to do his work
And as he unused on hts hard case ne
saw yokel digging In a ditch. and as he
dug the yokel regarded the man curiously.
Plainly. you are rich the yokel said;
why. then. do YOU frown and sigh
i am in love. the man answered. 1t
is torment How can I be cured?'
The yokel roared with laughter.
fio ho" he shouted. that is an easy
No, said the man. What is It? Tell
me quickly
Marry the girl said the yokel, and
he resumed his digging
Martin W. Littleton. the leading coun-
sci in the Thaw case. is noted every
where for his sharp and acid wit
AT a recent dinner Mr.. Littleton, in a
sparkling speech. said of a certain jurist:
It's a pity he doesn't know a little law,
as then he'd have a smettering of every
thing
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

society of clever eastern women didn't
discomfort them a particle-and hadn't
l always heard that the breezy western
man. were he never SO breezy. was in
stantly shriveled into bashful silence by
the propinquity of smart women?
Can you blame me for having that feel
ing of inward irritation over all this?
Il was sure all the time, .as I say, that
these western fellows were merely acting.
/ figured it that they'd burned the mid
night oil in studying the whole thing out
before packing their grips and starting
east.
And so when retired from business a
couple of years ago and decided to make a
leisurely tour of the whole United States
l felt as If my time had arrived to track
down the sure-enough, honest-Injun,
dank-branded. breezy westerner.
Calcium for the Fasteners.
I'll find him now. all right. said 1 to
myself. with glow of anticipatory tri-
umph. I'll get him and unmask him.
He eXsts-he's bound to eXst-or there
wouldn't be SO much written and said
about him. Watch me get on his trail
and run him to earth! These westerners
that visited me in New York had fun
with me for a long time. and now it's
my turn. I'll bet that those very fellows
are breezy westerners Of the most pro-
nounced and famboyant type when
they're at home. I'll just drop in unan-
nounced on lot of them and catch them
right in the act of being breezy western
ers, and maybe they won't feel cheap"
Here the elderly retired Manhattan bust
ness man leaned back in his library chair
and laughed-at himself
You know how he went on, "a
bunch of normally mild-mannered. not to
say sedaae, cowboys standing about a rail-
road station in the cow country gravely
watching a halted palace train filled with
fasteners will suddenly tip each other
the wink and then begin to tear around
like madmen. popping their guns and
emitting frightful 'Yee-ows! and 'Whoop-
ees" and frightening the crednlous and
timid ones on the overland train into
conniptions? When they do this, of
course the cowboys at the station are
only funning. They know that most of
the tourists on the train have got them all
cut and dried in their minds as wild men.
and So just to start something and have
a little sport. they turn loose alongside
the halted train and set up terrific up
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

up of our sailors with the foreign sailors
In Washington were entertaining affairs.
Early in May. for example. there was
a bunch of smart bluejackets from one of
the Argentine ships standing before a big
display of picture postals, representing
Washington government buildings, on
Pennsylvania avenue. one afternoon. The
Argentine sailors jabbered a good deal
among themselves and pointed admiringly
to the beautiful post cards showing the
Capitol, the Library, the White House and
so on. They then produced very small
stores of silver mingled with copper coins,
spat reflectively at the money. and plainly
indicated by their conduct that they felt
that the picture cards were not for them,
badly as they appeared to want to invest
in some of the inexpensive souvenirs.
While this was going on couple of mas
sive coal beavers, as their red watch
marks indicated, from the Dolphin, the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

Major, don't want to subject you to
any deprivations of any sort on this.
your first ocean trip, but If you must
and will frivol around with cards. why
don't you at least exhibit enough per-
ception to pick out as fellow players a
couple of manifestly square men like
those two young gentlemen we were talk
ing with at dinner?'
'Col. Watterson hadn't got the words
out of his mouth before his companion
released himself from the editors clutch
and started aft at lope.
Il wonder where I can find 'em?' he
inquired, pantingly. Col. Watterson fol-
lowing along after him. and presently
they came upon the two agreeable-seem-
ing chaps leaning over the after rail.
Col. Watterson's friend, without any pre-
liminary beating about the bush, suggest
ed little game of $40 limit to them.
Both said that they were a bit rusty at
the game. but they were willing, just to
glide away the time.
"And SO they began the four-handed
seance. playing with stripped deck
everything out of the pack down to the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

leagues of the imaginary type [ sought.
why. L couldn't even find my man on
ranches far removed from railroads-and
L visited about d dozen such ranches,
My ranchman hosts all turned ont to he
quiet. indeed. rather reserved men of bust
ness who rode around on their tours Of
inspection dked out in riding togs, often
enough. OF the sort you'd expect to see
along the equestrian path on Riverside
drive in New York. their wives. modishlv
naplted. occasionally accompanying them
1 was on two ranches one in North Da-
Kota and the other in New Mexico. where
me hosts. out of compliment to their
women folk. Wore dinner jackets at din
ner. and. of course. expected their guests
TO do likewise. And one ranchman. on
whose immense place in Texas / stayed
for a week. carried a lim-leather edition
of the Odes Of Horace with him when he
cantered about on his tours OF inspection
and read from the same at odd pulled-up
moments
And SO / returned from those western
wanderings. hopelessly. not to say vio-
lently. disillusioned. Disillusioned,
mean so far concerned perhaps the
main purpose of the expedition-to locate
the breezy western man. Instead of COM
ing upon any human critter who remotely
resembled that fellow. | ran into and was
overwhelmingly entertained in many far
separated cities. towns. hamlets camps
and ranches of the west by slews and
slathers of keen witted. self-contained
thoroughly balanced. good-natured west
ern men-men vino wasted few words.
never boosted. didn't know the meaning
OF raucous laugh. took a couple of baths
a day. had their nails manicured twice a
week switched into evening clothes at
the stroke of @: men who. generally speak
ing, had precisely the manner and ap-
pearance of the men of New York and
Boston and Washington and Baltimore
and Philadelphia, plus a certain poise, a
certain breadth. certain bigness of view
which. after all. more than any other
quality or characteristic. differentiate the
standard. high-grade westerner from the
easterner of the same class.
But" concluded the elderly retired
business man of Manhattan. his eyes
twinklng. they weren't breezy, confound
'em. and / don't know whether i can ever
forgive em for THAR!
Diogeres. indolent sage that he was.
picked out something easy for himself
when he undertook that quest for an
honest man. He ought to be alive now
and start ont on hunt for 1.-THE breezy
western man.!
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-08

sixes-so as to save all Of the dealing
that an all-jackpot game involves in a
four-handed sitting when all Of the cards
are used. This stripped game is pretty
hot. seeing that at that game threes
are just trivial. straight merely
foolish and a small full only fair to
middling: it certainly Is full Of action.
MIR. Watterson's friend was the happi-
est human being on board the ship when
the game began. and when he went right
out in\front from the tap of the drum.
as 1t were. hoeing in the money In stacks,
he positively shone with Joy. He con-
tinued to enjoy. himself Just as much
when the tide turned against him, for
he certain is warm man for draw.
1T wasn't until the game was three
or four of the afternoon hours old that
Col. Watterson caught the man who pre-
tended to be a Tennessee real estate
broker at an adroit bit of juggle cheat
ing. He was sitting at the right of his
companion. and it was gradually borne
in upon Col. Watterson that when the
alleged Tennesseean dealt the cards he
paid a lot of attention out Of the left
hand corner of his eye to the cards he
was dishing to his mate, who on his part
picked the cards up one by one as they
were dealt-an ornery practice even for