davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15

thing rather pertinent, but he lot II
pass, with the host OF other lost oppor.
tunIties. Billy was a wiser man than
any OF them thought
The bontinan madc them fast 10 the
flont, and BILLY helped Martha out as
hc gave orders to have the tank filed.
He then followed Martha up tho run
way which connected the Hoat with
tho land. Tho tide was very low, and
the sandy bottom was easlly Visible
through the clear, shallow wafer.
Martha stared down at some large
black object IN the sand. Billy stared
too.
why. IFS stove. Martin" cxclaim-
cd Billy. "Now, II we only kad that up
here on dry land we could 10 to house
keeping right away. Eh. grille, couldn't
weT'
Martha clutchcd the rail.
"is this a proposal. Blllyf" she asked
In odd tones.
II guess II Ii, dear-at least" said
Billy as he put his sunburncd hand
over hers, "f've been trying 10 ask you
Tor tho past seven years, and now I've
done Il All of a sudden. with the kitcii-
en- furniture thrown 10. What's my
nnswerT"
Billy was eagerly waiting for the
answer when tall colored man dress
cd In black frock coat. white tic and
vest and silk hat touched him on the
shoulder.
'SrhaF's the stove, SIR, and here's
the parson," and with low, sweep
Ing bow, hat In hand, he bent his old
back before them.
The situation was irresistible. and
all three. regardless Of race, creed OF
color, Joined ln . hearty laugh.
'Im afraid the odds are very much
against me-. parrIed Martha. ~
would seem that the only way out Of
II Ia for me 10 say 'Yes.' Let's 10
home and tell Dolly"
Az rule. billy was not considered
charitable man, but he turned to the
old colorcd preacher who had helped
TO shape his destiny and handed him
a crisp yellow backed bill.
"Treat the congregation 10 popcorn
and lemonade. won't your he said as
he followed Martha down the runway.
They were soon rounding the point
and In great glee they landed at the
Alders hoat. The house party await
Cd them on the piazza. Billy helped
Martha across the lawn, over many
imaginary stones and up the steps,
His face had taken on boyish look
while Martha was more beautiful
than ever.
II wish | had a lemonade sighed
Paul Westoyer.
"AIl right" said their host "whai
will you have. Fredf"
Fred glanced first at the young cou-
pie. who had Just stepped on the
porch. then slowly turned and looked
at HIS hostess. Dolly Alder.
II believe III take pint Of peanuts,
II you don't mind"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15
Selling the
Opportunity.
ny ]. LUDLUM LEE.
Copyrighted. 1904, by Associated
Literary Press

The Alders' week end party was IN
sull swing. The girls, In dainty mus
iins or smartly tailored linen suits,
were strolling about. with tho men In
white fannels. making charming
picture on the green lawn mud shod
owy piazza.
Mrs. Alder was swinging Ia the
hammock, pushing herself back and
Forth with her daintlly shod foot,
while In a coy armchair by her side
cat Fred Marshall peacefully smoking
his pipe.
1T strikes my vcrdant young brain,'
he began, that's It's about time those
two people were married. settled down
and lived happily afterward."
He pointed 10 couple In tho swing
ing seat under the maple tree.
-"Marriedr echoed Mrs, Alder:
married In the exact and, | believe
correct word," reassurcd Fred, "you
should understand the significance Of
the word. my dear Dolly. You're mar
rIed yourself. II I'm not mistaken"
why, Billy Richards would never
dare to ask a stunning girl like Mar
tha vandcrsook TO marry him. The
idea 10 prenosterousr said Dolly Az
der as she gave herself a vigorous
push.
want TO bet on III" asked Fred.
my dear boy. II would be like rob
bing the blind Billy Richards Is a
sort OF tams cat to Martha. You can
generally iii,d him purrlng 10 himself
IN some coriler. aud In case she wants
him he's very apt TO stretch himself
and como NJ her bidding. but marriage
never"
"i1l grant you there's something Of
the feline n him." said Fred. He's
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15
Seeking the l-Iaht.

At a dinner during an Episcopal
convention at Richmond young lady
sitting near the bishop of London said
TO him:
Bishop, wish you would set my
mind at rest as to the similarity or dis
similarity between your country and
ours on one point, Does the butterfly
because the tomato can?'
The bishop laughed heartily at this
vivacious sally. Not so young Eng
lishman Of his party, who after dinner
sought his host.
81 want to know. you know" said he,
"about that Joke Of Miss BIS. She
ahsked II butter few because tomah-
toes could Pray tell me what the
point is."-Llpplncott's Magazine.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15
No Enjoyment.

This village enjoys the reputation
Of being the birthplace Of two MEM
bers of the legislature and one con-
gresham, does 1t not?" politely in
quired the sojourner within Its gates.
"Nope!' replied the landlord Of the
Pettyville tavern, who was pessimis-
tic old crouch anyhow "lt just has
It, that's all."-Puck.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15

A story Is told of a young man In
England, great chess enthusiast, who
was so annoyed at his failure to solve
an apparently simple problem that he
vowed he would neither sleep nor eat
until the solution was found. He shut
himself up In a disused room and was
found four days later by his relatives
terribly emaclated and out of his mind
He spent year in a lunatic asylum as
a result Of his rash vow, and the prob
lem remains unsolved.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15

For she cannot help it. Women are
often cross, irritable, hysteric, and
declare they are driven to distrac.
ton at the slightest provocation.
Men cannot understand why this
should be so. To them it Is a mys-
terry because In nine times out Of
ten this condition Is caused by q
serious feminine arrangement.
A remedy is necessary which acts
directly upon the organs afflicted, re.
storing healthy normal condition to
the feminine system, which will
quickly dispel all hysterical, nervous
and irritable conditions. Such Is
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15

Brownblgge Ito waitress who has
handed him newspaper Amt yer
got nothing comic2 | likes to have
something funny to look at while I'm
a-heating. Waitress-There's looking
glass straight in front of you, sir.-Lon-
don Tit-Bits.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15

Here Is my seat, madam, but can
dor compels me to say that ! think you
are as well able to stand Us am"
"Pollteness compels me to say Thank
you, sir.'"-C Chicago Tribune.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15
Addino 70 III. offsnslvsnsss.

The man who told us so Is always
doubly offensive II he comes around
after the arrival of our troubles and
tries to look as II he had forgotten all
about It. Chicago Record Herald
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15
AN ulnhannv outlook.

Prospective Tenant-I should want
the studio for sculpture. Caretaker-
Yes, sir. Some of these Is rented for
that, There's a sculptor molding next
door, sir. -Harper's Weekly.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15

When a young lady and gentleman
have controversy about kissing, they
generally put their heads together.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15
LYDIA Z. PlNkHAM'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND

The following letter serves u
prove this fact.
Mrs. Matte Copenhaver, s15 So.
21st St., Parsons, Kans., writes:
"For two years I suffered from the
worst forms of feminine ills, until
was almost driven frantic. Nothing
but morphine would relieve me. Lydia
z. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
brought me health and happiness and
made me a well woman"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-15
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.


For thirty years Lydia Z. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousands OF
womenwho have been troubled with
displacements, in inflammation, ulcera-
ton, fibroid tumors, Irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bear
ing-down feeling, fatulency, ,indiges-
ton, dizziness, ,orneryous prostration.
Why don't you try it?
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick
women to write her for advice.
She has guided thousands to
health. Address, Lynn, Mass.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
tTO BE CONTINUED
eerlin's Woman Chauffeur.

Berlin's woman chauffeur is making
as she always intended to do-a
very good livelihood. Clad in a simple
but becoming coat and skirt of service
able material Frau Won Papp drives
one of the Bedag company's electro
droschkes with consummate skill She
is not, however. at the beck and call
of the general public, but Is in the en-
ployment of the Kaiserhof hotel, and
drives its visitors alone. The woman's
story is interesting. Her husband
an apparently well-to-do lawyer-died,
leaving her and three young children
penniless. Frau Won Papp always had
fondness for automobiling, and
quickly decided upon her profession.
Having satisfied the police authorities
as to her capabilities. she obtained
her present post and is keeping her
self and family in comfort
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
One Of tie
Essentials

of the happy homes of to-day is a vast
fund Of information as to the best methods
of promoting health and happiness and
right living and knowledge Of the worlds
best products
Products OF actual excellence and
reasonable claims truthfully presented
and which have attained to worldwide
acceptance through the approval of the
Well Uniformed OF the World; not of indi-
viduals only. but OF the many who have
the happy faculty of selecting and obtain
ing the best the world affords
One Of the products OF that class. of
known component parts, an -thica.
remedy, approved by physicians and COM
mended by the Well Informed of the
World as valuable and wholesome family
laxative is the well known Syrup of Figs
and Elixir of Senna. To get its beneficial
effects always buy the genuine, manu-
factured by the California Fig Syrup Co.,
only, and for sale by all leading druggists.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
Fresh Air Treatment.

Most "f us are acquainted with tho
person who asks obvious questions
the sort oi man who stops you in tho
middle OF n headlong pelt and asks you
II you are in hurry-and of all the ir-
fitable individuals he is the worst Of
the Objectionable species.
Mr. Ellis is one of those pests. and
during a walk abroad the other morn
ing he paused in astonishment outside
. friends house. Before 1t stood three
huge moving vans, the lawn was almost
covered with articles Of furniture OF
various hinds-pictures. wardrobes and
china And there was his old friend
Hills. begrimed and weary. and ILL
tempered, directing operations in his
shirt-sleeveS.
What, Hills" exclaimed Mr.. Ellis.
ARE you moving"
Not 1T all-not at ALL" snapped
Hills, with elaborate sarcasm. Il am
taking my furniture out for ride,"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
LOST IN sABYHooD; FOUND.
Sirter Sees 15-Year-Old Brother Work.
ing at Place She Visits.

Worcester. Mass.-One of the
strange happenings which at times
come in real life took place at the res
idonce of John Fuller in CRANKY when
RAY Turner was brought face to fac
WITH his sister, whom he never remer,-
bcred having seen, and who had not
seen him for 15 years, during which
time he had been lost completely 10
his family.
His mother died when he was three
years old, and he was placed in a
family and boarded for two years.
When his father came to pay another
year for him he discovered that his
son had been taken away by the state
aulhorities. The family has searched
for MIN ever since.
His sister happened to drive up to
the Fuller residence, and struck by
the remarkable family resemblance Of
the young man in Fuller's employ.
asked If he wasn't Ray Turner. and
when he replied in the affirmative she
disclosed her identity. Young Tur-
uer is now busily engaged in getting ac-
qudinted with his own family.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
COFFEE DRINKING
A Doctor Says it Weakens the Heart

"In my opinion" says well known
German physician, mo one can truth.
fully say that coffee agrees with him
as it has long since been proven that
caffeine, contained in coffee, is an in,
furious, poisonous substance which
weakens and degenerates the heart
muscles.
For this reason the regular use OF
coffee, soon or late, causes condition
OF undernourishment, which leads to
various kinds of organic disease.
Convinced of this fact, have often
sought for some healthful beverage to
use instead of coffee. At last l found
the thing desired in Postum. Having
had occasion to forbid people using
coffee, whose hearts were affected,
have recommended Postum as bev.
erage, since it is free from all injuri-
Gus or exciting substances. I know
this from results in my own family
| and among patients.
Hundreds of persons who now use
Postum in place of coffee. are greatly
benefited thereby" There's Reason
Name given by Postum Co.. Battle
Creek. Mich. Read, The Road tc
| Wellvilla. in pkgs.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
Nearing tho End.

Joe Lincoln, whose Cape Cod folks
are well-known characters, recently
attended a lecture. When asked how
he liked it, he related this little story:
stranger entered a church in the
middle of the sermon and seated him
self in the back pew. After a whilo
he began to fidset. Leaning over to
the white haired man at his side, evil
IDENTIFY an old member of the congre-
CATION, he whispered:
How long has he been preaching?"
Thirty or forty years. | think the
old man answered Il don't know ex-
actly"
IN stay, then" decided the stran-
ger He must be nearly done. "-Ev-
srybody's Magazine.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
THEIR DEGREES OF HAPPINESS
Marital Relations Of Rural Postmas
ters Not All Serene.

The chief clerk of the post Office de-
partment at Washington recently sent
to all the postmasters in the country
a list of questions asking for certain
information. says the New York Sun.
to be used in the preparation of the
government Blue Book. One of the
questions in the list was, what are
your marital ro1ations?"
The object of this particular ques-
ton was to find out whether the post
masters are married, single. widowed
or divorced. But some of the rural
postmasters did not understand. and
many answers were received in which
the persons addressed endeavored to
give clear and lucid explanation Of
the status of their married life. One
postmaster briefly stated that his do
mestic affairs were Fine and dandy"
Another, not SO fortunate, replied:
Fairly middling," while third filled
in the blank snace with two words:
"The worst"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22

lise with the articles it happens to con
tain, jamming all open spaces full of
cartridges for his revolvers. and brings
it downstairs with him.
Marina stands in the hallway with
her husband. To Barnes as he wrings
her hand, she whispers: Remember
a dead man cannot take Enid from
that barbarous home of mine. There
fore guard your own life
They step out on the porch. Some
moving lights are at the landing place
and they hear the swash OF sweeps
/ and the cries of the Italian crew as
they warp their fishing vessel up to
the platform.
Here I'll go down with you and see
you on board and your craft ship
shape" remarks Anstruther. Let me
carry that rifle of yours
Come" says Barnes, to whom
every minute seems an hour, and hur
ries down the path; but as Edwin fol
lows, Marina's white arms twjne round
him close, tight and clinging as if they
couldn't let him go.
Don't fear for me, you trembling
oCal, "hispCiS LCl huSbuhu, hiooli6
the excited face. "Tll be back soon"
At the landing. Barnes finds he has
quite a little to do paying the Italian
fishermen to remain on shore as Gra-
ham Is getting their stores and water
properly arranged on the craft. OF
this Anstruther now takes charge, but
though he works with will, it is al
most half an hour before the young
naval officer pronounces the fishing
vessel shipshape in case of heavy
weather.
Then the young English officer leads
the American aside and says. with the
craft Of seaman: Under this pres
ent breeze, if those devils you're in
pursuit of want to make their island
quickly, they'll be compelled to strike
it's northwest coast somewhere near
Porto. Graham will know how to
steer the course. Id go with you,
but"
But your first duty is here to pro-
tect your wife
You think these devils haven't all
gone away; that there is still danger
for her."
les, keep Shdrp eye on your
loved one. That was my error"
means Burton. Il left Enid out of my
sight for only few minutes
Then good-by." says the sailor hur-
riedly. and wringing Barnes hand,
strides up the path to Lady Chartris'
villa.
Then Burton stepping on board the
fishing lugger. which is big enough to
make the run to Corsica. they would
Immediately throw OF their moorings
to the little landing stage. but the
Italian padrone Of the craft. noting
Barnes haste seems great and his
need extreme. steps up and demands
additional recompense from the Amer.
ican MILFORD for his vessel, declaring
he will not let her go until he has
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22

threatened by the dagger OF the ven
delta. to a similar risk. would be
hideous."
Il do not fear my kindred" answers
Marina proudly. My words, the rus
tics OF my commune will believe |
should CO."
And have them murder you?" shud-
ders her husband. Never"
His young wife's only response is a
plaintive sigh.
Again you are right, Monsieur An
struther. or course. we know they
loved Marina: still they might not be-
lieve, observes the count. his ardent
eyes resting upon the excited girl,
whose very enthusiasm renders her
more lovely. Il am now returning to
Nice, where Lady Chartris knows that
| am at her command to do anything
to aid her in this unfortunate matter.
l shall drive out tomorrow. May you
have good fortune, Signore Barnes, in
your efforts. But remember one thing:
In that barbaric island, they want your
blood. You can only rescue your wife
by risking it. but no suggestion from
me is necessary to a brave and deter
mined mani"
Danella would bow himself out. but
Marina says eagerly: Two words in
private with you?"
Certainly" answers the count, and
Barnes notes as the beautiful woman
whispers to him a look of astonish-
ment enters his mobile face.
After he has answered her, the girl
says curtly: Il thank you. Signore."
You may trust me, Madam" is the
counts reply: and courteously kisses
the trembling fingers of Anstruther's S
beautiful wife. his eyes seemingly
filled with a new and strange passion
This is scarce noted by the Ameri-
can. whose misery distracts him.
A few moments later Burton selects
for himself rough shooting costume
that he has fortunately with him.
Then he hurriedly sings a field
glass over his shoulder: puts one or
two little trinkets, mementoes of his
lost love, in his pocket; takes his va
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
Not Too Simple.

John Simple, IA years old, of Dads
den, Ala, is not as simple as you
might think from his name. He saw
fellow hanging around the barn and
acting in a suspicious manner, and
set big bear trap where he thought
it would do the most good; and then
got up next morning to find that he had
bagged his game. The man had en-
tered the barn to steal one OF the
horses, but put his foot into it instead
He turned out to be a noted thief, for
whom reward of $500 had been Of
fered. and John Simple is going to get
the money. It's not what a boy is
named, but what he does, that counts
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
Live Bees in Stone Block.

T.ondon.-While the workmen we're
sawing through block of bathstone
at Exeter, they cut into a cavity in
which was found cluster of two or
lhree dozen live bees. The incident
occurred at the works of Collard &
Sons. monumental sculptors. There
was not much sign of life in the bees
at first, but when air was admitted
they gradually revived. and after a
few hours several of them were able
10 fly. The bathstone is to be re-
moved to the Royal Albert Memorial
museum for expert --aminatioa No
vein or crevice was apparent on the
surface of the stone.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
scarcer Ihe-e Than Here.

Miss Blanche Bates, the eminent
actress, in the course of a luncheon
that she gave at Sherry's, in New York.
to her sister artistic, Miss Geraldine
Farrar, said witty thing about mar
riage.
In heaven, We are told" she re-
marked there is no marriage nor CIV
ing in marriage"
She smiled and added.
NO wonder. when there are not
men enough even here to go around"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
To the Home-Maker,

To build up the power Of our homes,
for beauty. for companionship, for in
telligence. for charity, for constant
acknowledgment and furtherance of
the rights of others. is to build up q
power greater. perhaps, than We our
selves shall ever realize. And its with
in the reach Of every home, whether
it's big or q very little ONE
HArpers Bazaar.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
READ SOMETHING LIKE CIPHER.
Fearful and Wonderful Memorandum
Of Baltimore Cook.

In tho family OF a former Balti-
morean now residing in Providence,
r. l., there is a middle-aged German
woman-a relative of the family-who,
though having lived in this country
over quarter of century has not
yet thoroughly mastered the English
tongue. The expressions OF this rela-
tive, who keeps house for the fam
fly, sometimes afford much amusement
to those unaccustomed to her peculiar
ly characteristic pigeon English"
Happening to visit the kitchen sew
discovered tackled up against the wall
a crude memorandum pad. Inquiry
developed the fact that it was a re-
minder of the days culinary needs.
This is what was written in combna-
tion EnglishGerman chirography on
the little sheet:
Tapioca
pruns
corn Starsh
Shradded Wieth
Sardien
saman
Egg Gle
Salse
sellerie
The memorandum was confiscated
and sent to friends of the family in
Baltimore. 1t is being preserved as q
classic.-Baltimore News.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
Three Places a Ones.

~Pop!"
Yes. my son"
Can . man be in more than ono
place at one time?"
mo. my boy"
well, this newspaper tells OF man
who broke his leg in three different
places, Statesman.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
His Discovery,

Have they ever discovered perpet-
ual motion, pao'
y have, my boy. I had long known
that your mother talked all day and
the other night I kept awake long
enough to satisfy myself that she kept
at 1t all through her sleep"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
$500 in Gold. Free.

Send rs the names of your friends
who want piano, and if We secure an
order as result we will give you s.
in geld Tor your trouble. Send all tho
details you can and write plainly. The
Knight Campbell Music Co.. 1625-3l
California St. Denver Colo.
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
s.ag, q
Siander.

The Hon. Thomas Rott Is nothing
but a peanut politician. anyhow"
Now, hold on there. That is gros3
injustice to the peanut"
The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
Derivation Of a Term,

The reason We call money dust
Is as I've cause to know it.
To get it we must raise the wind
How easy then to blow it.