The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-08-20

peaked race pfOlguQInS III
front Of his thin gray locks. one leg
across the other lank knee. jackknife
in bis right hand. shingle in bis left
On the other end Of the bench sqnatted
Bige Ellet, bachelor. fat legs spraddled
out. pudgy feet just touching the
ground, black pipe In mouth.
Some folks can do thunderin' lot
Of thinkin' not to amount to much in
this world. seems to me-" said Abner.
Meaning" said Bige.
"Meanin'." replied Abner. peeling
long shaving of the shingle. some
folks can sit around for an hour sun
MIN themselves and never say word
to show their sociability."
WAL" drawled Bige. putting Wig
orously. Il was thinkin what an all
fired good thing it is that Saloam Cen
ter has SO many baldheaded old wild
erers struttin' around like peacocks in
peach orchard"
Why" asked Abner. squirting at
Bige.
"'Cause town would be fuller Of old
maids and widders than the Salary
desert is Of sand buys"
Abner fell to whiting the shingle
spitefully. Il reckon" he unused. ''that
it just isn't right to fly in the face Of
Providence, and If the good Lord had
ever intended Bige Ellet for Romeo
he'd "a made him leetle more hand
some and trife less hippypotamous."
Maybe I'm hippypotamus." said
Rige calmly, ''or alligator or 'noso-
ross. but amt losin' no sleep yearnin'
for postgraduate course in matri-
nony."
by jingo." cried Abner. leaping to
his feet and shaking his fist. Don't
taunt me. Bige Ellet; don't ye do it,
Amt goin' to taunt We. but if you
don't keep out Of my way I'll step on
ye. and I've seen moon fore now
that didn't have nothin' left to 1t but
rim
You're construed old blow pout!"
stormed Abner. you're jealous old
jessecat! You know l courted Sereny
Simkins fore you did. and you think
you can cut me out. but ye can't do it."
For moment he gyrated up and
down in front Of the sneering Bige,
then darted up the street. Bige sat
On the bench and watched him until
he disappeared in the distance. Then
he arose slowly and brushed his clothes
with his bandanna handkerchief.
Cant. eh?" he soliloquized, glancing
In hn 1irocffon NH bod
fed. Cant eh? Reckon I'll just
wander down that way and see.'
Miss Simkins was out by the willow
hedge gathering green brush in
clothes basket when Abner came shut
ding along the road. He was trem-
bling with Indignation and fatigue and
sat down on the we'll curb to rest.
But he hadn't been there ten minutes
when he saw Bige Ellet. putting like
freight train on a steep grade, steer
ing for Miss Simkins modest abode.
"Jumpin' Jerichor' be cried, gazing
frantically about for some avenue Of
escape.
Already ehe front gate was blocked
by the bachelors pompous form. In
the rear Miss Simkins. was coming up
the path So with the agility Of
squirrel be darted into the smoke
house, climbed ladder and sQuatted
silently amid the gloomy rafters, from
which dangled numerous uncured hams
and pieces Of side meat.
Straight to the open door came
Bige. then paused and removed his
hat as Miss Stmkins approached.
Why. how dye do?" he began. bow
ing effusively.
oh, Mr.. Ellet.' replied Miss Sim
ktns. I'm SO glad you came. l need
somebody to help me smoke that meat"
Why certainly. num-" said Bige,
his rotupd face turning. scarlet with
pleasure =
He took the basket from her and
dumped It's contents upon a pile OF
leaves on the middle Of the smoke
house floor. then struck q match and
touched 1t to the leaves. e.
"Oh, Lord" groaned Abper from his
elevated perch as thin cloud Of
smoke began rising. Il wish a cyclone
would come along. I wish the town
would catch fire. l wish somethin'
would happen to make 'em go away.
| don't know what am goin: to do"
lit Is certainly very kind OF you,
Abijah." said Miss Simkins, blushing:
"A lone woman has hard time try
ing to get along She sighed effec-
lively.
Must have a thunderin' hard time
to want to marry a widderer with six
children" said Bige dryly.
A great cloud Of smoke was rising
from the fire. Abner was nearly chok--
ed and was rolling his eyes desperate,
ly to keep from sneezing. The tears
were running down his cheeks in
streams.
why, Mr.. Ellet." began Miss Sim
kins amazedly. what do you mean"
Heard that you were goin' to
marry that old idjit Of an Abner
Moon" came Bige's complaining voice.
Then the door closed with bang and
bolt few into place.