davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29

seldom have befallen a mortal since
the memorable career of Munchausen.
Fo endured the immutable disdain of
his compatriots with stoical fortitude,
for he realized that according to the
unWritten ethics of the omniscient Joss
his physical defOrmitles entitled him to
no permanent place in the mundane
plan of things Being a hunchback,
and possessing a Withered arm, he had
been ostracized by the high-most ostra-
cizer from all that saVored of actual
happiness, and it was a duty inviolable
that he should not complain of his con-
dition.
This duty he observed in a most su-
pererogatory manner; but when one
day Fo awoke to the startling fact that
he was rapidly losing the last remnant
of his sacred queue, it became too much
for him. The fates were undoubtedly
handing him a lemon.
AS days went by the queue went also.
For some unknown reason the few
scanty hairs at the back of his Uranium
refused to be upbraided, and 10, even
as Fo was experimenting with various
hirSute panaceas in an effort to stay
the onslaught on his scalp, the last of
his valuable hairs vanished. and the
aceldama of his long, hard fight with
the grim hair reaper presented the
shiny, void like appearance of dimin-
utiVe Sahara, without so much as a
fuzzy oasis in all the lonely stretch of
barrenness.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29
One
g A who @- wn&

Before convincing himself that the
/ last of his hairs had eternally disap-
peared, he resorted frantically to every
conceivable form of restorative known
| to the gods or suggested by traditions
Even the pulverized dust of a dried-uI
toad-said to be one of the most valu-
able hair remedies known to the Mon
golian materia medica-failed to bring
about the desired chronological shrub
berry, although ii was applied amid the
burning of punk in the dark of the
moon, with the proper incantations to
stimulate il.
An extract of rat tails, duly COM
mingled with a priestly powder war
ranted to contain the consecrated ashes
of ten celestial cockroaches captured at
midnight in the Holy Temple of the
Three Sacred Simia, was next applied to
the afflicted pate, but with the same
futility
Then came seasons of fasting and ne
cromancy, but all of no avail. The des-
ert refused to blossom; the nakedness
of his skull continued unadorned.
That was too much for Sing Fo. He
decided it was about time to enter a
protest against the grim cruelty of the
EVIL one, and he threw up his job, for
the time, and became regular habitue
of the Los Angeles Chinese settlement
The loss of his queue, added to his
other misfortunes, caused Fo to be re-
garded as a scort of hoodoo Doors
were heard slamming when he ap-
preached. One could always tell just
where Fo was by the sound of closing
windows and clanking portals. And all
the while, with head bent low and hands
folded behind him, Fo wandered around
among the dark dens and gloomy alleys
trying TO figure out just what he had
done to the spirit world to make it so
obstreperous.
Incidentally he was endeavoring to
arrive at some sensible method of cir
cumventing the Evil One.
About this time it was observed at
Sam Wo's noodle joint that Fo was at
tanning a remarkable appetite. At first
it was attributed to his desire to sport
a little, but as time went by and it was
noticed that Fo was eating the most
indigestible dishes eight. ten and twelve
times day, the awful suspicion be-
came rooted in the minds of the Chinese
denizens that Fo was trying TO eat
himself to death.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29

features of tho ordinance were uncon-
stitutional, but hoped that with rigid
orders to the police to enforce 1t the
courts would determine that question
quickly.
"The ordinance received the unani-
nous vote of the council" said the
mayor. land the responsibility of sign
ing has been put up to me. / signed.
"The ordinance excludes from cir
culation outside newspapers which
rrint racing tips, and our local news
rapers are confined strictly to printing
the racing news.
Personally, / do not care about
racing, but this prohibiting newspapers
here is a step backward. The big east
crn and western newspapers will prob
ably be heard from If their sales are
stopped"
Under the anti-tip measure no key or
information that could be used as Il
basis for wagers must be printed in
racing results, no indexes or figures can
he used to indicate lists of horses, while
all names of animals must be alphabet
ical and all in the same style and size
OF type.
No betting must be given and no IN
dexes to betting, no workout results,
standing or form of any horse
This applies to newspapers sold,
gwen away, circulated or distributed
in Los Angeles.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29

is strengthened by the fact that Fo now
already is an incurable victim of gout,
and his embonpoint is of councilmaniC
caliber.
A Chinese physician on whom Fo
daily calls to learn the state of his
physical debility, but of whom Fo stub
bornly refuses to accept any cura-
tive herbs, declared recently that Fo's
days in the flesh are limited.
He no live Velly much long, now,
observed the root-and-leaf savant,
shaking his head sadly. He come die
pletty quick. Long time no stay"
The physician admits that while Fo's
process is slow, it is certain.
Only if he would eat a few slices of
mince pie, or some rarebit-but Fo is
not anxious to die SO suddenly That
would be too much like conventional
suicide. He desires to make his demise
more gradually.
The question in Chinatown is-if
Sing Fo eats himself to death, what
will become of his body? How will they
dispose of it? None of his relatives
will recognize him, for the slightest
posthumous intimation that he was in
any wise connected with the family
would doom the several preceding and
future generations to everlasting exist
ence devoid of the sweet solaces of
opium, rats, rice or chop suey His
friends will spurn his ashes on the
theory that he committed suicide, not
withstanding the artful method he en-
ployed. and as suicide is high treason
to the great Joss and sacrilegious to
the sacerdotal fraternity, his memory
must be erased from every righteous
mind. The Chinese burial place can
have no hole for him, because suicide
is forbidden there
All this, however, does not seem to
worry Sing Fo. At last accounts he
was still eating rayenously, and the
future has no concern for him.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29
EATEE HEAPEE LOT CHOP SUEY.
MAYBE GO TO HEAVEN QUICK

it embraces all the fundamental tenets
of Buddhism, Mohammedanism and
Confucianism; and in all these tenets
there Is said to be no commandment
forbidding gluttony Suicide is COLI
demned, but Fo declares he is not vio-
lating the commandment.
He believes he is shrewdly keeping
Just inside" of the higher law, and so
saving his soul for final cleansing in
the Great Wash House.
He stoutly denies any suicidal tenden-
cies; but as the proof of the pudding is
in the eating, so the proof of Fo's
ultimate object is in his eating of Epi-
curean oriental delicacies.
Fo never became a voracious eater
until about year ago. 1t all happened
In mysterious manner, and resulted
from a series of misadventures such as
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29

Among all Chinese a cripple is looked
upon with silent disdain. His Jokes are
fiat, his philosophy void, his Language
at all times so utterly inane that he
can gain no respectable audience excent
among few of the broader minded
disciples of Confucius; therefotE Enp
Fo has found himself inexorabta thrust
into world entirely unsuited' to his
mental crasis.
1t is reported in Chinatown that Fo
is actually committing suicide (and may
the good Joss be lenient with his soul0
by eating himself to death.
An inftnitesimal minority of the local
Chinese admit frankly that Fo is a
philosopher. He is regarded as a sort
of prophet by his very few confdants
and is declared to be one of the best
read of all the Chinese in Los Angeles.
His religion is original, they say, YET
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29
FIND SEVEN-UP WAS
PLAYERS RECREATION
Police Captain and PatroImen Raid
Room, but Leave After Making
an lnVestigation-No
Arrests M ade

Captain Of Police Walter Auble and
several officers in citizens clothes raided
room 101 Wilson building at noon yes
terday, expecting to capture a number
of gamblers and a complete gambling
outfit. Upon entering the room four
men We're discovered playing seven
up" using poker chips for counters.
But for the poker table on which the
men We're playing and several chairs
the room was bare.
A large square of canvas had been
stretched above the table a couple of
feet from the ceiin@ This precaution
was no doubt for the purpose of screen
ing the room from view in the event
peep holes were punched in the ceiling
One door leading into an adjoining
room was sealed by the means of heavy
paper and a quilt which was securely
fastened across it.
After warning the players to be care
full and not play any games that We're
in violation of the law, and that the
place would be watched Capt. Auble
left without making any arrests.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29
81 Down
81 Per Month
No Interest
No Taxes
on Dollars Around Redondo in Substantial
Improvements

Mr. H. Huntington
ovements
d til d e rN NRat n@@m M Mammn
@ ~
Perfect
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29
EXECUTIVE SIGNS
ANTI TIP ORDINANCE
THOUGH NOT PLEASED, MAYOR
ORDERS LAW ENFORCED
New Measure Kills Betting in Los
Angeles, and May Be Tested
in Courts by Pub
fishers

Mayor A. C. Harper signed the anti
il did not meet his views in all re-
spects and he announced that it would
be enforced to the letter.
He believes that eastern newspapers,
whose sales will be affected by rigid
enforcement, will take steps to defeat
some provisions of the new law.
Drastic as the law is drawn, with
view of preventing tips in any form,
it will not go into effect until thirty
days from Monday, by which time both
the Santa Anita and Oakland meetings
will have been concluded.
The mayor said he thought some
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29
HIM NO QUEUE; HIM WANTS DIE
MORE SOON
Celestial Citizen AttaIns Proportions
That Would Do Credit to Prize
Poland China and Still
He Eats

Sing Fo is one of very few Chinese
cripples. He lives on a truck garden
near Duarte, but about once every two
months Fo makes his appearance In
Chinatown, and that means that about
once every two months there is a COM
motion in that particular section of Los
Angeles.
Cripples in China, and in every Chi
nese settlement, are looked upon with
sundry misgivings by their country
men, for in the cosmogeny of the Orient
a cripple is an omen OF misfortune to
his family, sure sign of dishonorable
disaster to his posterity, and by the
same token a sort of incarnate message
of evil from some one or more of his
unfortunate antecedents, signifying
their confinement in the realms Of Tar
tarus.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29
Free Excursions Every
Twenty Minutes
Every Day
See for Yourself
Everybody Welcome


Thhsa arie in for ogs in npn down
r act Of n to pay
o
VIII OF Is Al d md % Their
there soon be h electric
whe pu from al k e Hma Waer nbe had
rrgu
where wnm " have few lots e ii rgnh hRedodo villa Tract
wi @ b
VII I ma o
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29
WOMAN'S BREAST
A DEATH TAPR
ANY LUMP IN WOMAN'S BREAST L
CANCER


OF all diseases of the human body
a lump in a womans breast is the
most frightful. Hon. T. N Bradford s
wife while dying with cancer, said
"Oh, that some one had only told me
the danger of that lump in my breast" "
There is a book of cancers and tumors
cured without knife or pain, sent free,
which teaches and proves that any
lump in woman's breast is cancer.
The author is the most successful
cancer specialist living and offers $1,000
If he fails to cure any cancer he treats
before it poisons deep glands. Strictly
reliable; no X-Ray or other swindle.
He charges nothing until cured and
has been curing cancers over a third
of a century without failure in the
early stage. To get this valuable book
free describe your case and address.
DR.. and Mrs. DR.. Chamley d Co, 747
S. Main ST., Los Angeles, Cal. The
reader may save life by sending this
to some one with cancer.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29
A Card

To the donors of the lovely and lavish floral
offerings and choice potted plants which glori-
fled both home and church upon the occasion
of golden wedding anniversary we wish to
extend warmest thanks. Too numerous
for individual mention, please accept THIS pub
lie recognition Of your delicacy and Kindness
and our appreciatlve thanks.
NORMAN S. AVERILL.
ANNA s. AVERILL.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29

Dirt is flying. rails are being laid,
spikes are being driven. The Los
Angeles 4 Port Orient Railway is
being built from Hermosa Beach.
twill greatly benefit all of the trib-
utary country. And the Redondo
Ocean Villa Tract will participate
therein.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-29

Buy where the cool ocean breezes blow
from off the ehealth-restoring waters OF
the Pacific. Free Round Trip Tickets
from Los Angeles to Redondo and re-
turn on cars going every 20 minutes
every day, are given away at our of.
flee absolutely free upon application
Also Free Auto Ride around beautiful
Redondo.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-08-19
Wash Hats
Waists.

Several hundred pretty made wash
waists that we wish to close out at n bar
gain. They are attractive as any waists
of the season and are fresh stock, but we
find that we have too many of them
Half price
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-08-19
MEMORIAL.

Whereas, The Great Creator has
taken from us our beloved eister,
Mrs. Ella Fowler, to enjoy that re-
ward which awaits all His faithful
creatures, and
Whereas. The members of Rob-
inson Grange No %, renlize that
this Lodgs has lost true and
faithful member, her family low
ing and indulgent wife and moth
or and this community one of it's
most loving and respected friendr,
be it therefore
Resolved, That this Lodge deep.
ly and sincerely sympathize with
tb Q family of our deceased friend
and sister. Be it further
Resolved, That a copy of these
resolutions be presented to the
family of our. deoeastd sister and
the papers of this county bore.
quested to publish these resolu-
tions and that they be spread upon
the records of the Lodge.
Mr. JOE WINDOW,
Miss ANNA MITCHELL.
MRS JOE WINDOW,
Committee.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-08-19
DEATH OF MR.. ISAAC
". NEWMAN.
One of Mason COHnfY's
Aged Citizens Passes
Away.


AZ his late home near this city
Mr.. 1 v. Newman, after a linger.
ing illness, departed this life, Aug
IL. 1908
From the history Of the Great
Kanawha Valley, we take the fol
lowing biographical sketch:
Isaac V. Newman was born in
Macon county. West Virginia, in
1885. His parents were Isaac and
Mary { Eastman Newman, to whom
were born the following children
Junius 3 Virginia e., Mary O.,
William W, John g., Susan A..
Sarah j /, Isaac Y and Emma L
The father wss a son of Walter
and Catherine (Zimmerman) New.
man, and was born in Pennsylva.
mia, 1893, his wife being native
of Fauquier county, Va, born in
1898. She was a daughter of
George Eastman, who fought in
the famous battle of Point Pleas
ant in 1774 Isaao Newmen's
father was also soldier who fought
in the same great struggle against
Chief Oornstalk and his savage
warriors. Isaao Newman was but
10 years when his father came to
what is Mason county, in 1900
settling in Point Pleasant. After
his marriage Isaao located on what
is known as the Newman home.
stead, in Robinson DISTRICT, where
his death ooourted about 1886.
Iaaao V. Newman the immediate
subject of this bio graphy, received
liberal education at the Buffalo
academy, after which he completed
a course of law at Lexington In
1858 he located at Point Pleasant,
where he praotioed law until May,
1861, at which time he enlisted in
q Confederate company, organized
at Charleston, by DR.. j. p. Hale.
He served throughout the entire
war and at the CLOSE of hostilities
was member of 90. A Both Va.
Inf. During his military service he
participated in the following hard
fought battles: Gross Lanes, Ft
Donelson, Cloyd's Farm, Fayette.
vile, Cross Rroads, FISHERS Hill
and others AT the second Win.
battle, he was taken pris
oner and held for Ave months at
Point Lookout, being exchanged
February IL. 1866 AT the bloody
battle of Oloyd's Farm, fought on
May 8, 1864 he was severely wound
cd in the leg. His brother, John
g. Newman, was a Captain in Jen.
kin's Confederate cavalry, and par.
tioipated in all the noted raids and
of thst command
he was promoted to the rank of
Major for gallant and meritorious
conduct, and served throughout
The entire war. VIM. w Newman,
another brother. was prominent
politician, and represented Virgin
"a in the senate. Since the close
# the war, ]. v. Newman has lived
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-08-19

scenes of my childhood. For q
time l forgot my early friend. But
/ was not destined to stay away
forever l returned. but what did
l findP Time had been unkind in
my absence. My Monarch, my
King, my land mark of the pact
had given DER to the Hand of the
inevitable. No longer did he tow
or into the great freedom of Gods
out doors; no longer did he
bathe his mighty branches in the
gentle shower of spring. He had
fallen, he had made the earth his
bed, and the violets were blooming
by him while he dreamed.
My friends, the land mark of
this surrounding country has fall.
en-. Many of you who are much
older than / knew him in your
childhood; he was your sage and
your philosopher, yes, he was your
historian; for in his vigils you
linked yourselves with the past and
dwelled among the dead. In his
dignity you read life's moaning
Alright, and went forth to battle
with renewed courage, But this
mighty oak ia fallen. To-day you
STAND with uncovered heads and
Borrowing hearts to do honor to his
memory. No more in this lie will
we be greeted by his kindly smile;
no more will we have his fatherly
counsel Time was kind to him,
for he more than lived his allotted
days.
come today to speak of his vir.
tues. for he was a virtuous man.
'Tis true he loved the sports of
this life, but who among you will
say that he ever pluoked the flower
of virtue from the blushing cheeks
of innocence and cast 1t to the
Winds.
1 come today to speak of his hon.
esty, for he was an honest man. II
there was a person that he had ha.
tired for, twas a dishonest man
All of you who knew him will test
ify to his honesty.
| come today to speak of him as
a Citizen, for he was an honorable
citizen. He was a loyal supporter
of all things that was for the bet.
torment of humanity. What more
could you demand of oitizenP
1 come today to speak of him as
a father and a husband, for he was
indeed true father and loving
husband In his death a light has
gone out from this home that oan-
not be replaced.
Yes, this giant oak 10 fallen, but
what of thatP Why do we weepP
All! | see. the bonds of home are
torn asunder. There lie vacant
chair in the halls of his lodge, and
a Citizen is lost to this community.
Did he make mistakes in this
hfep Yes, many of them. Life at
it's best 10 full of mistakes. The
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-08-19
Capt. ". o. Roseberry
answers the Great
Call.
Mason GOUnfy's Oldest
Landmark is no More.
Funeral Grafton BY Rev. r..
-. Bell

Capt. w. o. Roseberry, probably
the oldest Citizen in Mason ooun.
ty, has answered the call, and gone
to his reward, Though having
passed far beyond his three. SCORE
and ten years, he was yet hale and
hearty until within a few months
of his death, when it was noticed
that the graat machine was failing
and that in short time 1t must
cease its active career In this life.
= w o. Roseberry was born in
Point Pleasant, w. Va, June 8,
1917, where he was reared and edu.
Dated. In the prime of his life he
was married to Miss Jane Grow, of
jackson county. w. Va. and this
union was blessed with the birth
of four children. Mr.. Roseberry
spent about ten years OF his life in
steamboating, and for about IT
years followed the business of
milling and merchandising. His
later years we're passed in retire
ment with his family on his beau.
tiful farm just north of Point
Pleasant. He was Q member of the
Protestant Episcopal Church of
Point Pleasant. He departed this
life Aug, 6, 1908. at the ripe age of
81 years, 3 months and % days.
The funeral service was conduct
cd by Rev. Robert P, Bell. of the
M. E Church, South, from the
RosebeIry home. Following is the
funeral Grafton delivered by Rev
Bell to multitude of sorrowing
friends and relatives:
I'm my childhood days l played
beneath a giant oak. The wood.
mans hand had spared it, when
the neigbboring forest had been
cleared, and it stood as sentinel,
a land mark of the past. AS the
days rolled by l drank unto my
youthful soul the spirit of this
mighty oak, / played that he was
sage, philosopher. an historian.
/ imagined that the breezes, play.
ing among his leaves, was his voice
and that he was telling me of the
sleeping past he was my oom-
panion, my counsellor and my
friend. l looked upon him at twi-
light, when the kindly shades of
night were being lowered over the
world, and called him my Mon
afoh, my King But then the hand
OF time pushed me away from the
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-08-19

oak, that was my friend in youth
had branches broken from it and
deoayed places in it, but must
turn my back upon its beauty on
account of these detioienoiesp No
a thousand times no Then shall
we today look upon the mistekes Of
this manP You all answer, no
We will exhault his virtues and lei
our memory linger around the
beautiful in his life.
You have read Lowell's vtrri n Of
Sir Launfal; how in his visi,n he
rode forth from his castle, young
and strong, in search of the Holy
Grail. A beggar, stood at his gate
begging aims. Sir Launfal ossI
him ooin and passed on, BE
spent his life in many olimes
searching for this coveted Grail
In old age, with fortune gone, he
returned to find his castle in the
possession of others. The beggal
was still at the gate Sir Launfal
had no money now to give. only
water and crust of bread; but as
he divided the orust the begRaT
turned to be glorified Christ, and
the wooden Grail to the Holy Grail
Is this not 80 in the life of our
departed friend2 Years ago he
rode forth in the prime of his man.
hood knightly Knight, Recently
he has returned wearing upon his
brow the Drown and beauty of age,
and in his hands bearing the jew.
ell of experience. He has bowed
before the Master of Life and who
will say that he did not hear "Lo,
it is /, be not afraid"
We will bury our sacred dead,
but In our hearts we will erect a
temple to his memory that will out
live marble and endure longer than
brass. As the ivy clings to the
broken column. and covers with its
evergreen mantel the ruins which
time and man have wrought, 30
will the tendrils of our purest love
ever cling to the name and life of
this Giant Oak, this Knightly Man.
To the friends and loved ones l
say:
$50 live, that when thy summons
comes to join
The innumerable caravan, which
moves
To that mysterious realm, where
each shall take.
His chan chamber in the silent halls of
Thou go not, like the quarry slave at
night,
tained and soothed
BY an unfaltering trust, approach thy
grave,
Like one who wraps the drepery of
hisI couch
About him, and lies down to pleas,
ant dreams"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-08-19

a quiet and retired life, devotirg
his time and attention to farming
in Robinson distriot",
Funeral sorvioes were conducted
at his late residence on Wednes
day morning at 10 n. m.
Interment in the Newman bury.
ing ground near his late home
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-08-19
One fourth off.
Umbrellas

The season for umbrellas lasts twelve
months out of the year. Colored umbrcl-
las are always pretty and always useful.
We have beautiful stock in reds, green's,
blues and browns, and we offer all of
them at
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-08-19
White Goods

The exceptionally attractive line Of
white goods that we have carried, includ-
ing pretty Nainsooks, Longcloths, India
Linens and other fabrics, has brought us
a wonderful trade, but we want to close
entire stock at