davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
TWO BIG MEN.
The Extraordinary GIrth of CIeve-
land and Taft.

From the Cleveland Leader
Former President Cleveland's great pop
ularity in his old age ignores his weight.
There is no longer ridicule Of his bulk.
He is not criticised because he has been
fat more than half hts life.
Secretary Taft does not find his great
girth and weight an obstacle in his prog
ress toward the White House. He runs"
as well as he could hope 10 If he were
lean. No one else In the race can keep
up with him or near him. He gains by
the good nature which is so readily per-
ceived In his face and manner and har-
monies so perfectly with his bigness.
The masterful and exceedingly active
President who now sets the country n
pattern Of strenuous vigor is far from
lean. On the contrary. Theodore Roose-
welt is SO stocly that he isn't far from
stout. IIe is about as heavy as that
utterly different and ease-lovIng. but ex
tremely popular parsonage, Edward VII
and the King is undeniably fat
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
MONDAY. JUNE %, 1908.
ARE YOU GOING AWAY

Subscribers who leave the city
temporarily should not fail TO
have THE WASHINGTON
HERALD follow them Ad-
dresses viii bo changed as often
as requested. You cannot keep
fully Informed about affairs in
Washington unless your paper
comes to you daily. Before
leaving. mali or telephone your
address to this office.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
Man of Pence

From the Hartford Couraut.
Another Of the interesting things is
pointed out by the New York Times
For the first time since 1864. the Repub-
lican party presents for the SURFACES
Of the American people a man without
military record or title. Grant. Hayes.
Garfield Harrison. and Mckinley were
officers Of the civil war. Roosevelt got
his colOnelcy in the war with Spain. Taft
is a civilian. His victories have been
victories of peace.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
Germanv,s Ner Coin.

From the Yorkshire Observer.
Germany is about 10 introduce a new
coin Of the value Of quarter-mark. and
the government has invited designs with
a perforation. Some German artists have
objected on the ground that the perfor-
ated coin belongs 70 a past ace.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
GoIf-made Loaferu.

from country Life.
So long as you pay caddies a sum suf-
hcient to enable them, however poorly.
TO live, and supply themselves with the
iuvariable adjunct of the loafer. a vii
famous cigarette. you will breed loafers.
and you will eventually make it neces-
sary TO alter the whole conditions Of en-
plOyment.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
Good Time Coming.

From the New YORK Mail
Prosperity on the farm. big freight re
.ceipts for the railroads. more beef at a
lower price, a bounteous breakfast. end
a 'fun dinner pail" are all included In
the promise Of the fields Nature has
done her part toward a business revival
the rest is up 10 US. II this promise IS
disappointed, il VIII be a case where every
prospect pleases and only the politician
is vile
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

suffrage was granted. That same year
state suffrage was won by the women of
New South Wales. and state suffrage
also by the women Of Tasmania.
In 1906 Queensland gave state suffrage
TO woman. In 1903 Finland gave full ma
tiOnsl suffrage to the fair sex. and this
was taken practical advantage OF to
such effect that IN 1907 the Finnish women
succeeded In electlng nineteen OF their
sex to Parliament. In 1907 Norway grant
ed full parliamentary suffrage TO women.
Sweden made women eligible 10 munich
pal Office and Denmark granted women
the right to vote for members of boards
OF public charities and TO serve on such
boards. Great Britain allowed women to
ors. and aldermen. and even Russia
granted suffrage TO women. with the pro-
viso only that they must vote by proxy.
These are some OF the steps that have
been taken in the remarkable progress of
women. and year by year It seems that
the idea is spreading and is becoming
more popular. It Is coming 20 be recog-
nized that the stake Of the women in the
country is as large as that OF the men:
that with the larger part Of the heavy
responsibility of rearing children on their
shoulders. 1t is fitting that they should
have some voice in the making of laws.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
Another stem.

From the birmingham News.
Now that the Post-ofice Department
has debarred from the mails publications
having anarchisuc tendencies. the good
work might be further pursued by de-
barring people of anarchistic tendencies
from landing in this country The an
archist is more dangerous to the public
safety than "A mad dog
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
A Motor serviIe.

From the London Tines
With slight modification the boys criti-
cism in his essay on the horse might be
applied 10 the motor-omnibus-nam
that the horse is a noble animal, but he
does not always do So" The motor-omni-
bus is the servant Of vast numbers OF
people, but IL is sometimes allowed 10 be-
have in a manner which is Objectionable.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
a FREAK ISSUE.
Error OF TheOrist as 10 Bank
Deposits.

From the New YORK Herald
The proposal TO have the government
guarantee bank deposits is regarded by
Prof j. Lawrence Laughlin as a freak
scheme 20 be classed with the rag baby
Of greenback days and the free coinage
OF silver OF more recent memory.
In an article in the July number OF
Scribners he thoroughly reviews the sub
ject. and concludes that such a guaranty
would tend to put a premium on the pop
ular and 'cbiging banker as against
the careful and judicious banker.
The fact that the average annual losses
20 deposltCrs in national banks IN forty
three years has been only a small fraction
Of per cent is cited by advocates OF the
new scheme as evidence that only a small
guaranty fund would be needed As Prof
Laughlin points out, the error OF the
theorists is in confusing ultimate with
immediate redemption
The difference is vast-and potent.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
senntor Lodges Speech.

From tho Des Nloincs Capital
Senator Henry Cabot Lodge. as perma-
nent chairman Of the Republican national
convention. was a fortunate selection.
His speech-like his books-reads well
lie happily typdes the scholar in poll
tics" His analysis of the record Of the
past seven years of Republican admins
tration was the work of a keen mind.
Senator Lodge is worthy Of the great
State Of Massachusetts. whose history is
luminous with the names OF eminent mon
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

Andrew jackson Abraham Lincoln
Ulysses Grant Grover Cleveland Johnson
is the full name Of man in this state. ''
says a Wyoming contemporary. Most
people would prefer to call him by his
sober name.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
The Drama I'm PIunISviIIe

''The heroine was tied to a buzz-saw
an the hero was locked In a dungeon.
B'gosh. thought her time had come"
And what saved herr"
Just then the sheriff walked ir an
levied on the scenery. Il broke up the
show, but that was better n seem the
gal sawed in twain"
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
Contest of Mon

frcm the New York Herald
With possible differences on this point
the platforms promise 10 be very much
alike, and the contest will be mainly one
not Of platforms, but Of men. The prin-
cipies record, and temperament Of the
candidates VIII be the determining factor
in the campaign
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

volved In ten years. Washington has as
much to bear as any city we know of in
that regard, but we are proud to say we
have no citizen inside our gates who is
so lost to shame as Is this Houstonite.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

According to a Virginia contemporary.
young man down that way recently
stole a march on his sweetheart's par
ents' and stole his bride away" Still.
this is hard year, remember. and vlo-
lations Of the eighth commandment are
frequent.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

I am misunderstood" says Mrs. Elinor
Glyn. Oh. WELL then; we beg pardon.
We wouldn't say rude things to a party
who doesn't deserve them-not for the
world.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

Michigan has produced a queer freak in
Jack, the pen stealer." II he would con-
fine himself to the variety usually pro
vided for the use Of customers IN banks
and post-ofices. he would be voted
great public benefactor.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
His Own Hitchcock.

From tie Pit;sburg Express.
Mr William Jennings Bryan continues
TO have firm faith in his ability to be his
own Hitchcock, and the outcome seems to
Justify his confidence.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

\ Kansas doctor prescribes the liberal
application Of mud as a sure cure for
gout. In view Of the political activity
this year, gout should be an unknown
quantity among the candidates.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

"a girl thinks she has failed 10 accom-
pish some duty Of her sex II she has
failed 20 make some mans heart ache &"
says Mr. Dri,twood Armstrong. in the
Montgomery Advertiser. We fear the
sweet summer girls have been getting
on Drifts nerves.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
A Verbal Bracer.

My WIFE," said the first clubman. al
ways mixes me q cocktail when I 90
home feeling frazzled"
You're in luck" declared the second
clubman. The best / get IS a chin nzz. "
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

The fact that the June bride outlool; IS
more discouraging than Il has been for
many years goes far toward justifying
cur contention early IN the game 70 the
effect that leap year Is a fake
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

Canada has increased its railroad mile
age tenfold within the last twenty years.
Isn't II about time for the cheap near
statesmen TO set busy in Canada?
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
Can lap over.

What DO you think Of this sandal
craze?"
Il think II viii be d 60. No trouble TO
~ number six foot 20 number two
sandal"
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

Whoever saw q man and his wife who
were beth red-headed?' inquiries the Atch-
ison Globe. How is any one to answer
that without exposing family secrets or
evidences OF domestic jars2
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

With Florida standing pat on local
option. Louisiana doing the same thing.
and Tennessee wabbly. TO say the least.
prohibitions grand tr!umphoi march
through Dixie appears TO have been
somewhat rudely interrupted.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

ABE" Ruef Is out Of jail, and is deed
Ing away all his property. Soon il Will
be in order TO ask Abe" What did you
do with It? rather than, Where did you
get il?
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

The gem trade is picking up" says a
jewelers. publication. SO IS the germ
trade, according 70 various medical pub
llcations
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

statistician informs US that "2149.OO0
people live in Chicago" That's hard on
them, Of course. but It isn't our fault. is
IL?
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

"A great man IS one who can teach the
people 70 eat ont Of his hand says the
Dallas CTexD News. And a stll greater
man is one who can teach the people not
10 call his hand.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

Parties who vainly imagined the late
gubernatorial cyclone 20 mark the finish
os Gcorgla's troubles for this year have
another guess coming. The legislature
meets next Wednesday
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
Made n Change.

Poor man: Have you always been
blInd2'
No, num-" answered Tired Tifins, un-
thinkingly Last week l wuz lame. bu.
dere wuzn't enun in H."
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
Rciected.

"The editor regrets"
Is the reply
My finest effort gets.
The editor regrets
And 50 do j.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

IN View OF the fact that It crowded
Gov. Johnson to carry AIinnesota-,'' %
begins an article In the Chattanooga
News Oh, well; it always did crowd
other Democratic candidates too much
TO carry it in the past. Yon Yonson is
a mighty fine figure Of a man.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

We suspect that Caleb Powers never
will feel exactly sure he has been par
doned unless the governor issues him az
least two or three additional notidca-
tiOus
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

Only an erstwhile cowboy like Mr.
Roosevelt could effectively head Off such
a tendency to a stampede as was mani
tested at Chicago.
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

Little Joe Brown stiU can't talk
much says an unreconsrructed Georgia
contemporary. Nevertheless, he can
crow. all right. can't he?
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

A sea serpent has been reported Off
Pensacola. Time was when the sea SER
pent didn't have to play these one-night
stands
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

There is a man In Houston. Tex. WIN
claims that he has not seen u baseball
game In which HIS home team was In
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22

Chicago, the beef trust quietly pushed up
the price another notch. This was done
merely as an evidence OF good faith, we
suppose
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
Rendr ReannnInr.
So Romantic.

Say"
"Wen2"
1T must be like living in the pages OF
novel 10 be able 10 lean out of the
carriage window and say Home, James. 3"
The Washington herald., 1908-06-22
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
1T WILL PAY.

drop OF printers ink
VIII make a thousand think
And likewise buy;
And keep, say l,
Your biz from getting on the blink
drop OF ink. egad,
May reasonably be had.
DO not delay,
Insert to-day
That business help, a little ad.
Ready Reasoning.
They stood before a reproduction Of tn,
Venus OF Melos.
Her hands must have been beautiful,
said one.
Very, assented the other. Il wonder
what position they were in?'
Il have a theory that she was repre-
'ented as busted at her toilet. One hand
probably held a small mirror"
And the other a powder puff, eh2 But
hat theory won't work.
And why not?"
Had she been at her toilet, her mouth
would have been full Of hairpins.'
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
ON THE SPOT.
His First Love.

LIE was hiding a box Of Christmas
1 I toys up in the attic. There was
a bear that actually dancod "a train OF
cars made TO dash madly around cir
cular track. an automobile whose
chauffeur blew a horn and a grist Of
other things. In finding a place which
the youngster would not happen upon
ho came to "a battered tin relic Of his
baby days-a much worn tin horse
mounted on four shally wheels. IL was
his first love. once IT glistened in all
the glory Of impossible colors, and as
he carcssed the Bit OF string dangling
from the tin platform the little steod
carried him back 20 the days when
trolley cars and autos and automatic
bears that dance were not
How he had poured out the wealth
Of a baby's heart on the simple thingl
As he grew in years he had forgotten
it. II was his mother who placed It al
one side and preserved il for the time
when he would care 20 SEQ Il again.
Tho days of tin horses are past. Tho
genius of the twentieth century must
be reflected IN every toy. Bat as he
concealed the box under some old rugs
he took caro- 20 retain the little tin
horse, TO be locked up in his desk.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
The Reason of It.

"WHAr did You buy Marie for a
Wv present." asked the man in tho
car of his neighbor.
81 really don't know" said the neigh
Dor. and a worried look began to creep
around his eyes. 81 wish / could tell
you You see. l went to a jewelers.
and said, Give mo something in sill
yer for a girl who has everything He
was a most obliging man. He brought
out a lot of pretty little silver things
and advised me to take 'em.
"What are they for?' said /.
"It's in the Catalogue said he,
Wait until / get it and look.
"If there's anything hate to do it IS
to hang around a shop, and so I told
him it wasn't necessary. If he could
positively assure me that they had q
use 1 would take them. He assured
me, and s25 worth of the gimcracks
are now in my bureau drawer waiting
for Christmas morning"
aren't you afraid perhaps the fellow
deceived you?" asked the man in the
car anxiously.
"Why, no." replied the neighbor
Look here; it stands to reason that
he wouldn't have been selling them il
they hadn't some use. doesn't il? Well
that's the way 1 reasoned it out. They
were there in the shop to be sold, and
therefore they must be for something
and Marie's a smart girl, and she'll find
out what. You see, that is woman's
province to take something that looks
absolutely worthless and make it use
full"
80 it's" assented the other man.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
Could Stand Another.

A commercial traveller tells tho fol-
lowing OF a little social gathering IN
eastern Ontario:
Dinner was a little late. A gnest
asked the hostess to play something
Seating herself at the piano. the good
woman executed Chopin nocturnc
with precision. She finished. and thcre
was stnl an interval OF waiting 20 be
bridgcd ln the grim silence she turn-
cd to an old gentleman on her right
and said would you like "a sonata boz
fore dlnncrT He gave q start Of sur
prise and pleasure. why. yes thanks!
ne said. I had q couple ON my way
here. but think ! could stand am
other.''
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
Small Boy Balances Accounts.

q don't suppose I should tell the
story" said Brown. with a smile, ''but
IL is too good to keep. so here goes.
My wife is "A pronounced enemy 10
cigarettes and is ready at all times to
strike blow at the miserable little
'cofm nail as she takes delight in
calling IT, The other day she chancod
20 meet a small boy serencly smoking
one of the little white rolls. and tho
sight caused her to hold up her hands
In horror.
Little boy said she severely
don't you want TO grow up TO be big,
strong man?
"'Yos'm,' answered tho boy between
puffs.
"Wcll, you never win If you smoke
those nasty things They will make
you dreadfully thinl
"'Gecl' replied the boy as he looked
critically at my wife. who is extremely
thin. 'Gce. but YOU must have smoked
a lot of theml'"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
Her Scheme.

Marion - Grace
tells me that she
has begun to
gather her Christ
mas mistlctoe al
ready.
Myrtle - Yes.
You zee. she has
10 begin early. She
has a scheme to
cover the ceiling
Of every room in
the house with it.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
A Wise Woman.

4 claim that
my wife is one Of
tho most sensible
women on earth. -
1T is always
fine for a man 10
have such an
opinion of his
better half"
Eyes: she in
variably gets her
brother TO pick
out the cigars she
gives me on
Christmas"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
The Same Old
Excuse.

Judge-Don't you
know better than
TO hit a drunken
man, officer?
New Cop-If II
please your honor.
1 didn't know he
was loaded.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
A REFLECTION.

Fuddy-Do you really believe that
drummers are as smart as they are
said 10 be?
Duddy-I never believe in impossi-
hilities They never succeed in sell
ing me anything.
Tuddy-It does look like a reflection
upon their alleged smartness to at
tempt it.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
SAD STORY

"Ah. my poor man." said the kind
housewife. els it really truc that you
once had position and lost It because
you were too tender hearted %
Eyes. num- sighed the tattcrcd way
farer as he brushed away an imag-
house"
"And-and why did you loave?"
Because I didn't have the heart to
smother a beefstcalz num-"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
FOOLISH FELLOW.

He-what would you do if I were
TO kiss YOU?
She-How singularl was thinking
that very thing.
Yet nc sat there and kept on won
doring.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
The Resolution.

"Do you intend
20 make any reso-
lutions on New
Years ?"
mo; I'm going
TO keep the reso-
luton 1 made last
year"
"What was
that2''
mot to make
any more reso-
lutions."
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
TIE ONLY THING

"a horse may be driven to wator''---
We think
You know what thereafter bofell.
There's only ono thing may be driven
TO drink,
And that's an artesian wen.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
AT LEAST NOT PRoFANE.

A decided brunette. by name Picisens.
Was arrested for stealing some chick
ems.
When they asked her 10 swear
She replied. debonair,
Il only know deuce. darn and dick
ems"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
S Seasonabie
Proof.

Dunn ~ This Is
the time when the
greater is subor-
dinated TO the
less.
Gunn-How do
you make that
out?
Dunn - Doesn't {
the Christmas s
tree owe its inn
portance entirely
ito the (Olive)
branches?
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
lie HlNpEREp HEALER.

I'd like to help to cure the ills
Tho poor old patient world must
bear,
But I've so little time to spare
And have to pay so many bills.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
The Motor Craze

He Don't you
sometimes envy
these very wealthy
people their en-
joyments2
She-No. I new
er cared for the
smell Of gasoline.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
They Quarrel.

She-You're just
hateful.
He-You're more
so.
She - You're q
regular stick.
He - You're as
cross as two.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
NE THINe 10 po.

'1f You woke up suddenly in the
night and found yourself in the den Of
a man eating tiger, what would you
do?'
I'D promise myself TO quit drink
ing"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
MONDAY.

"why should they speak of blue Mon
day."
He asked and ongagingly grinned.
ITS happier. surely, than Sunday.
Being SO many sheets I'm the windl"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
NOT so WoNDERFUl-.

1T was certainly a miracle. barely
escaped with my life"
"Huhl / fail to see anything miracu-
lous about that Now. If you had es-
capped without your life tho story
would be far more interesting"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
THAT WOULD FETCH HER.

Though the new woman claims that
her mission
Is work Tor the seXs glory
She'd gladly resign her position
To list to the old. old story.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
THE WHOLE TROUBLE.

Bass-l suppose you think I'm fool?
Cass-Thats what troubles me. II
your supposltion IS correct then you
are mind reader. and therefore you
cannot be q fool. and yet-woll. you
understand
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
A DIsTINcTioN.

Minister Osindly)-Dld l understand
you to say that your neighbors small
boy has gone to heaven?
Howard (unlindly)-I did not. ]
said he was dead.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
Natural Instinct.

Does the little
boy take after his
mother?'
eyes; he takes
after her every
time he wants a
piece OF pie"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
NOT A HARD woRkeR.

NO; ] can't give You Job. I've as
many hands now as can find work
for"
"Woll. that needn't stand in your
way. The little Id do wouldn't make
no difference.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
AN ExcePTIoNAL cAsE.

Occult science claims that by
thought we influence one another
across space"
yes. I've tried to hold of my
creditors that way, and it didn't work
worth a cent?
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
EvERY LlrrLE HELPs.

The little kindncssos VIC do,
The words of courage we keep giving.
Help more than do the deeds of kings
And an our statesmen's ponderings
no make life worth the living.
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
AN rYE.nFAl INVESTMENT.

Smith-Did Bings take much Of a
risk when nc invested in that spec
taclc making firm?
Brown think it was something Of
speculation
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
REEoRE ANn AErER.

Boncs-Before marriage on is bill
and coo.
Jones-And what after?
Bones-Then it's coup TO pay the
coal bill
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
HAD A SMART LAWYER.

Il understand that you had to 80 TO
law about that property that was left
you. Have you a smart iawyer2'
''You bet 1 have. lie owns the prop
crty now"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
AS TO TAXATION.

"You say stupidity is taxedg'
"Well, it ia the same thing. II you
are shrewd you aren't taxed"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
CRUEL HUSBAND.

"what is a joke without a point.
dearg"
"rhc kind a woman tells"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
elRL-MADE.

"How does a cynic strike your
q always wonder what the girl was
like"
Evening journal., 1908-12-12
THE MARCH OF MODERN I'M
PROVEMENTS.

Santa Claus (emerging) all
right-it's all right-but l was origi-
nally built for wood fires and open
auesl
Evening journal., 1908-12-12

Little Bobbie (watching his stock
ing)-lf old SANITY tries 20 work any
1907 toys OF on me I'll give i'm dc
grand run.