The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-26
a SUPPOSITIOMAL
CASE
Mr.. Buddy Seeks Advice or q
Point OF Law.

cred with Commissions, so that he looked
as If he had emerged from a terrific
conflict with an antagonist who hat
won complete victory Placing his
crutehes against the table and seating
himself very carefully in the chair
Mr.. Buddy said;
MIR. Simms. jus dropped in to see
you to git little advice on a point d
law in which I'm interested, and I'd
be much obleeged If you'd tell me ex
aetly what my rights In the matter
are. I'll put ii in this way S'pose'n
| you were 70 marry a wilder, under the
| idea that she was an angel-that she
was mere bitterness alongside OF her;
and sRose'n after you were consoli-
dated with her YOU were to find out
| that she had a temper like she Wild
cat, and an unconquerable custom OF
banging you over the head with skill
lets or most anything that came
handy. so that you didn't know what
minute she'd git her mad up and skeer
YOU pretty near to death.
Now, spose'n this wilder and you
was 60 disagree about a little matter
of chewing terbacker in the house and
trying to spit in the stove, and she
was to mp and tell youth your own
house, mind you--that II you KEEP aim
ing at that stove and missing ii she'd
warm you up with broom handle or
the like; and you were to say that
you'd chew where you'd a mind TO- and
that while 1t was a free country you'd
hit the stove or 1niss it. jus as you
pleased.
And s'p0se'n one word brought on
another. until she get on terrific
rampage and come at you and tried to
snatch out your hair: while gou
grabbed her by the wrists and held
her 40 she couldn't And then spese'a
while sou were rassling with her you
was to get the best Of it SOS sha
couldn't do anything but have the hrs.
terics and scream and you all The time
afraid to LET go lest she'd hustle yon
out through the winder,
Now. s'pose'n that wilder had
dog which belonged to her first hus
band. and would rather bite you thaa
not, and all. of sudden she was TO
boiler for that dog. and he was 10
come bouncing into the room. and. see
ing the widder's situation. was to take
hold of mouthful of your right leg
and shake it as though he was going
to bite it loose before he left; and the
wilder all the time sticking him on
and encouraging him to help himself
without any regard for your feelings
And s'posen when you let go OF her
TO tackle the dog she should bang you
with the scrubbing- until you
looked's If you'd been ground up In
bark-mill, and then wouldn't call of
the dog until you hollered enough.
"S'pose'n all this, what / want to
know Is, can't you sue that wilder for
assault and battery. and get an iniunc
tion on that dog? That's what came
to see you about. whether you've got
to stand having your leg chewed and
your head smashed with a scrubhing
brush, or whether this great and free
going to protect its de
fenseless citizens, / want to know how
II is"
Mr. Simms looked very solemn for |
moment, as IL contemplating the prob |
lem carefully, and then he said:
Il don't really see that the law can !
do anything in such a case, Mr.. Bud |
ay. II the man married the widow he !
became part owner of the dog. and IT |
was. therefore. in fact his own dog |
that assaulted him. Besides that. as
A man and his wife are one flesh, the |
widow has a partnership interest in
The mans leg. and when she set the
log upon 1t she was really encourag-
ng the animal TO mutilate her own
No action can lie against a
person who induces her own dog 10 /
bite her own leg. nor will the law give /
her redress If she batters her own
read with her own hands, for the wife
who strikes her husband really strikes
herself"
you don't mean to say" exclaimed
Mr. Buddy. in a blaze of indignation,
that that Is the law of this land, Of
his very country where our forefa
hers bled for liberty You don't actu-
lily mean TO tell me that a red-headed
yidder. with a liver-colored dog, can
ietually make that dog gnaw mans
eg into sausage meat while she
rounces him with a club. and that
le can't chuck her into Jail for IT;
hat he's got to stand up and take it?"
I'm afraid he has" said Simms, with
/ sad smile.
We'll. then" said zuddy, rising and
eizing his crutches. that just lets
ne out as far as this idiotic land is
I'm going to quit. II Wild
lers are to be allowed 10 carry on as
I men had no rights. I'll emigrate
md hunt up some country where en-
ightened civilization don't allow wild
Iers to live. Let's see, its India, isn't
I. where they kin the wilder when
Ter first husband dies? Wen. that's
where I'm going I'm going by the
lrst boat II ! stay here III be dead
n a month. and so chewed up that
hey'n have TO bring me in pieces.
food morning"
And Mr. Buddy hobbled away dis