davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1908-07-12

Jack Warner got his revenge .yester-
day for the bouncing SILK O'LoughIin
gave him the day before Seeing a wide
high curve coming, Jack ducked and
t..S siss)ot caught O'LOuEhlin on the
mask at his forehead. The arbitrator
was greatly vexed at the professional
discourteSy and chided Warner In strong
language. but could do nothing more.
Charley Jones. the outfeIder Wash
iRgton traded for Ollie Pickering. play
ed center field for St Louis YESTERDAY
after Criss batted for Hoffman in the
fifth inning
Smith and Johnson will probably pitch
the doubIe-header against St. Louis to-
morrow.
The sacrifice fly 20 score a man fro-,
third has not been as prominent this
season as was expected
II must make Jake StahI feel like
real ball player 70 have Boston and
Cleveland contending about who shall
have him. now that New York has let
him 60
Our old friend, Joe QuiCk. commonly
known as Alligator Joe" IS still with
the Browns as trainer. He trained
Washington for two years. and knew
his business, despite his little peculiarf-
ties.
McAleer is wondering whether or not
he is 20 get Keith, young pitcher he
picked up from Little Rock. in the
Southern League This phenOm is a
Rhodes scholar. and was in ENGLAND an
the winter and spring pursuing his
studies. he was 10 report 20 the Browns
June !. bat the first they saw of him
was in Philadelphia YESTERDAY. re was
told 10 work into condition and ioin TIE
club later. but is said 70 be planning an
early return 70 England.
The Washington times., 1908-07-12

@Batted fOr HOFFMAN In NTH. "'Bat-
ted for Bailey in ninth.
Washington. 0 2 ? 0 0 0 0 x-4
st. Louis. 0 10 0 %
The Washington times., 1908-07-12

Jesse TaEuehHL washj7gton's new
soCtHpaw pitcher. is away on a scouting
trip in the South, but that is all the in
formation 10 be CLEANED, EXCEPT naru-
rally that the Phenom in Dixie iS
second LajOie FOR hitting. a Ty Cobb for
running bases. etc
The Washington times., 1908-07-12

Manager Jimmy McAleer, OF the St
Louis Browns. is out OF the game for
three or four days, as a result OF TOO
much conversation with an urnDire in
Philadelphia He is taking the s7Is0en-
sion much 70 heart. and grleves audfblv
when asked what h thinks Of umDiriuE
In general.
The Washington times., 1908-07-12

FBatted Tor overall n eighth
Philadelphia. -----...0 0 0 0 Is
Chicago ---------------l 0 0 0 o.
The Washington times., 1908-07-12
The score.


Washington A c.. 0 OoO1 -
Silver Spring g--------. c 0 x-5
The Washington times., 1908-07-12

IOtats--- 7 q 3 g
"Batted for Berger IN ninth
The Washington times., 1908-07-12

'Bsr-eI f1r Charles In ninth.
Brooklyn ..--..... .-.-. @ o % q 0 o o.
81 ruIs...-......-..-u o o. @ q %
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
TOO BIG FOR PRESIDENT"
J. p. Morgan Wouldn't Take That Job,
Says Dog Show 0oorkeeper.

Says Dog Show 0oorkeeper.
The proudest man in New York the
other day was the doorkeeper of the
private entrance to the dog show in
Madison Square Garden, for he was
formally introduced to the little niece
of j. Pierpont Morgan by Mr.. Morgan
himself.
1t was about $50 o'clock when MIR.
Morgan, accompanied by the little girl,
appeared. The doorkeeper, conscious
of his personal acquaintance with the
fnancier and also recognizing a kim
dred spirit in dogdom, gave his Wis.,
itors a hearty welcome. MI. Morgan
acknowledged the welcome, and when
the doorkeeper deplored that the fnan-
cier was not exhibiting his collies this
year he was told that Mr.. Morgan was
also very sorry.
But l want you to meet my little
niece" continued the tinancier, patting
the child on the shoulder, for she. too.
Is a great dog lover, il not a fancier."
pretty democratic" commented a
bystander as the fnancier passed on.
who? Him." said the doorkeeper.
Hes a real man; that's what he is"
How'd you like to vote for him for
p~resident?" asked the other.
Huh: He's too big. He wouldn't
take that job" said the doorkeeper.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08

there Is no superstition in his makeup.
However, pressure of official duties
prevented his attending it.
At the first performance In New
York the auditors numbered Professor
Henry van Dyke of Princeton and An
drew Carnegie. They visited Mr..
Sothern between the acts. In their
party was a Scotchman. During the
first part Of the play the Scot looked
on imperturbably and without a smile,
but after the scene in which Dun.
dreary tells Georgina how Sam ate his
mother-in-law he turned tt the others
and exclatmed:
moo l know why they are laughing
so. The mon is a fool!"
And Mr.. Carnegie and Professor van
Dyke agreed to let 1t 60 at that.
Many Of the jokes and stories in
Lord Dundreary" are so old that for
most Of the present generation they
are new. Among them Is a riddle
which is older than How old Is Ann? ?"
1t runs:
IF fourteen dogs with three legs
each can catch forty-eight rabbits with
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
JUNIOR AERO CLUB.
Woman Heads Movement to Teach
Young People Balloon Flying.

Woman Heads Movement to Teach
Young People Balloon Flying.
A new ZERO club is about to be organ
lied In New York city. 1t will be ma
tional in character. and the aim of its
promoters is to establish branches in
the principal cities throughout the
United States.
The club will be composed entirely Of
members Of the younger generation.
the grownups merely acting in an ad-
visory capacity. The name Of the new
club is the Junior Aero Club Of the
United States. The originator of this
club IS Miss e. L. Todd. who has de-
voted years of study to the problems Of
aerial navigation and who has design
ed several working models of airships.
A meeting of the members Of the
Junior club will soon be held. Mem
bership In the club will be divided into
three classes-honOrary. active men,
bers who construct their own appara-
tus and active members who own APP
paratus not constructed by themselves
The officers and working committee
will be chosen from the active mem
bers who make their own balloons, and
eligibility for active membership will
Ike limited to those under twenty-one
years Of age.
Branche of ten or more members
may he established anywhere in the
United States.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08

your fight" to see a Sothern In the
roll Of Dundreary again. f. II. Soth-
ern has made his reputation as an
actor In the romantic drama, but he
has mastered the humorous role Of
Dundreary. with all its traditional bust
ness. and the stutter and drawl char.
acteristic Of the foppish English lord.
Some who have seen the revival OF the
play claim that the elder Dundreary
possessed more finish and that his
work contained a personal quality the
son has not been able to acquire. but
this. they say, is not strange. consid-
ering that 1t took the elder Sothern
years to build up a creation.
Lord Dundreary." which was orig
finally known as "Our American Cous-
in," was the play at Ford's theater.
Washington. the night that Lincoln
was assassinated, and e. A. Sothern
and other noted actors Of the time
were In the cast. When the Sotheru
OF today produced the play at the cap
ital some weeks ago President Roose-
welt expected to witness 1t. He spe-
cially desired to do So, both on &C.
count of his interest in the play aud
account Of bis wish to show that
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
FISH POND FOR KANSAS CITY
Suggestion Of a Man Who Likes an
Afternoon Of AnoIino. !

Suggestion Of q Man Who Likes an
Afternoon Of Angling.
kansas City is badly in need Of
something" said a resident of the east
side the other day to a reporter of the
Kansas City Star. II suppose if I'd tell
anybody what it is the city needs I'd
Ike laughed at. but I'm going to speak
out anyway.
There is no place where q Kansas
Cityan can go to fish for an afternoon
and get back in time for work the next
day. ! mean fish for real fsh-bass
and crappie and other game fish. OF
course in the Blue river at Swope park
there are a few catfish and some carp,
and I'm not throwing any slurs at
them. But there are no game fish
nearer the city than those in a private
pond near Independence. 1t takes near
" four hours to make the trip there,
and 1t leaves little time in an after
400 for angling.
"Now. I have a suggestion. l have
noticed that the park board is grading
parts of the park at the grove on Fiji
teenth street at Benton boulevard.
There is a ravine running nearly four
blocks through the grove that at most
points is at least ten feet deep from
the south bank and varying from two
to ten feet on the north. Trees and
brush save the ravine from being an
unsightly scar. But why not fill the
basin of this ravine with water and
stock 1t with good game fish? 1t is an
excellent place for them. After a year
the park board could allow fishing.
charging a small sum for the pleasure.
Many other cities have public parks
containing water stocked with valua-
bic game fish. The fish will spawn
rapidly. and the tree trunks and shrub
berry would furnish an excellent pro-
lection for the young fish. l want to
see a place where women and children
and any others who enjoy a national
sport without riding on a train can 60
for half a day. Game fish need deep
water and shade. The ravine in the
grove could furnish these"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
Galax Leaves.

G. a. Holder Of Round Peak was
In Mount Airy recently and told
something Of the large business he has
built up in the sale Of galax leaves.
He will pay the women and children
Of his neighborhood as much as So. 600
this winter for gathering these leaves
along the little ravines In the noun
tains. The leaves are packed in
punches of twenty-five each and sold
to florists in cities. They sell in
Mount Airy for % cents for 1900
leaves. Women and children often
make from 81 to ST. n day gathering
them.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
McMix.

One day along in n~inety-six
I saw the funny name McMix.
! wondered who McMix might be
An lrishran or ~Scotchman he.
MY memory-was it playing tricks?
Perhaps I'd met this man McMix,
Yet did my recollection lack
That somewhat unfamiliar Mack"
McCarty l have known for long,
McCabes. McFarlands in a throng;
McManuses-oh. five or six!
But where. now. did l meet McMix?
You have not known him, have not met
McMix." a still small voice says, vet.
But worry not-as old time ticks
TIT years away you'll meet McMix.
From out the vast will he appear
And spend with you a whole long year.
About one year from now. Just wait
You'll meet McMix. which IL a date:
MCMIx."
-Robertus Love in Puck.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08

Worried By MONEY, S)0H[D By MUSIC
DiSCOrdS of Official Life For.
gotten as the Talented Sec.
Rotary Wooes Harmony From
Piano and Organ :: :: {:

about to resign in consequence of it
1t was about this time that neighbors
Of the Cortelyous began to remark that
somebody was keeping the piano and
organ going a great ceal in their home.
1t appeared that the secretary to dis
tract his mind from the discords of his
official life was paying more than usu-
al attention to making harmony in his
home. He is very fond Of the organ
and also plays the piano we'll. He used
to play on the keys Of a typewriter.
Other people do that for him now, but
the keys Of the organ and piano possess
for him still a great fascination.
Secretary Cortelyou has the reputa-
ton of being the silent and serious
member of the cabinet and one Of its
hardest workers. Taft Is the ~joker-not
the little joker. either-of the Roosevelt
board Of advisers. and he is a hard
worker. too, despite the fact that fat
men are supposed to be lazy. Mr.. Cor
telyou is generally ut his desk long aft
er the subordinates and clerks Of the
department have left theirs. 1t is hard
work combined with signal executive
ability that put Mr.. Cortelyou where
he is. His genius for hard work has
been recognized by three presidents.
He was originally discovered by Presi-
dent Cleveland. who took him from the
p~ostofiice department to the White
House. The first thing the young but
aspiring stenographer said was:
Nv, --,, f. -A
a Republican,"
"That doesn't make a bit of differ
ence." enthusiastically declared the
chief executive. And Mr.. Cleveland
stood by him when Democrats schemed
to get his place.
Secretary Cortelyou is SO saving of
words that. 1t is said. "Good night" Is
a pretty long speech for him to make.
During those strenuous days Of last
October when MI. Cortelyou and j. p.
Morgan were bossing the emperors.
kings and dukes of finance in Wall
street he did not have time to do his
usual amount Of thinking. One day he
could not be found anywhere. For four
or five hours nobody could get in touch
with him. The %f1nanciers wondered If
he had been kidnapped. The newspaper
men exhausted their abilities as detec-
tives in running him down. At last he
slipped into his hotel quietly, and 1t
turned out that for hours he had been
walking around Central park alone III
the dark. In explanation he simply said:
II can think better when walking out
DOORS"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
On the Road.

Guests without baggage are re-
quired to pay in advance" significant
~ remarked the new clerk at the hotel.
"How much baggage is required?'
asked the plainly dressed traveller, who
was signing his name in the register.
"Something more than that little old
valise."
"Well, I have thirty-six cars of bag
gage, but it won't be here till Thurs
day of next week."
"Thirty-six cars of baggage! What
kind?"
Merely a circus and menagerie l
happen to own"
"Oh, l beg your pardon"-Chicago
Tribune.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
Charge Of the SPELLING SQUAD

Half a leaE. half a leag,
Han a leag onward.
Gallopt the spelling board
With its three hundred.
knockt out n ''g' from eK,
Lin is the word for leg,
Hear Brander Matthews beg
"Lern the three hundred"
Forward the spelling board,
Teach EN- to spell 1t ''sord."
Slashing words lin from lin,
How We have b~lundered,
Wen never yield the COST,
What tho the scoffers rost
Spred them from cost to cost.
All the three hundred.
DEBTORS to right OF them,
Columns to left OF them.
Bcdsteds to slumber them
Changed In the making.
Fonografs squeking loud,
Bravely they spelt and rowcd-
What tho their heads were now
Wofully aking,
Gone were the extra ''p's."
Dunn the silent BIS"
Difthongs We're routed.
Crazed by fOnetic schemes,
Qutre singers rotc by reams
Such words as solem.
Cantor and colum.
Harang and thum and lam,
Famfiet and diafram,
Tho the world doutcd.
Rravely they bilt and well,
Teaching us how to spell
Campain and borO.
Even that dred diseze,
T1sts. they spell with eye.
Honor such words as these.
Nebilt SO thoro.
Detroit Free Pres
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
0a1lantry.

"Thank you very much" said the
lady. smilingly accepting the proffered
seat.
MADAM" said the man. tipping his
hat. "you surprise and pain me-"
II do not understand you"
"Well, you've lost me a ~bet."-Phila.
delphia Ledger.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
lancets to Treat Snake Bites.

In view Of the large number of
deaths caused annually in Burma by
snake bite 1t has been decided to dis.
tribute as widely as possible through
the province the lancets designed by
Sir Lauder Brunton for the treatment
or snake bite with permanganate OF
potash, the efficacy OF which, If the
treatment is ut once applied, Is now
established.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
Needless Alarm.

Miss Tartun-Mr. McBash, this being
leap year, let me ask YOU
Difhdent Young Man chastity inter-
rupting)-Oh, l beg Of you, Miss
Miss Tartun-If you think any self
respecting young mn would go out
OF her way to ask a dub like you to
marry her?-Denver News-Trbune.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
Humor ana Philosophy
nx DUNCAN NJ. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

He is a wise man who knows bis
nelghbor's weakness and steers him
self clear Of it.
The interest that a few. a very few
people take in life is largely represent
ed by the coupons they clip.
Popularity is a tiresome thing. but
moi many of us are wearied that way.
The world owes us a living. but get
ting a receipted bill for it is WORSE
than earning it straight out.
Sympathy seems to have a wonder
ful affinity for a dollar, and that prob.
ably is the reason it always tends il
b direction Of the man that wears
the dollar mark.
he is q smart man who can give O
good excuse. and he is a smarter one
who can get past without any sort OF
excuse.
Inc best way to cure a cold is not
to get one.
Doctors never disagree-upon the size
Of the bill.
A mans wealth may be guessed at
not by the size of the bills he owes
but by the size Of the bills he pays.
1t Is no use trying to make a level
headed man a high roller.
Unappreeiated.
1T is very exasperating to give some
girls taffy."
"Why?"
"They always ask for something diff
ferent."
why, ! thought they liked it,"
Ever hear them say. oh, fudge?'"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
TELLING a Family Secret.

Little. Clarence-Mamma, how did
papa make his first thousand?
His Mother-He made it, dear. by
marrying your grandfather's daugh-
ter. Now run out and play.-Chicago
Tribune.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08

legislation: he has been harried by the
senate over his policy as secretary in
the issue Of the Panama canal bonds
and certificates of Indebtedness to re-
ueve the money situation; he has
been criticised in the senate for as
Stunning the airs Of a president in the
manner In which his report on the con-
duct of his department during the
panic was drawn up; he has had to
give a great deal Of time and thought
to the preparation Of that report, and
to cap the. climax he had to do it while
suffering from an attack Of grip and
while reports were flying about that
he had had a misunderstanding with
the president w his candidacy for
the Republican nomination and was
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
Csnzdian's Odd Misfortune.

Edward Spendlove Of st. John. n. b.,
who game I" Mexico recently to in-
spect tracts Of timber land with a view
to investment. is being taken home to-
tally blind. He found a peculiar tree
IN the forest and struck 1t with an AZ.
The blow caused the sap to squirt into
his eyes. completely destroying bis
sight.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
Preference.

(which do you like BEST" asked the
man who is fond of animals, dogs or
horses"
Dogs" answered young Mrs. Tor
kins promptly. They don't lend them
selves to the schemes of the book
makers to get Charley's money!
Washington Star.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
kept leapjnu,

why do they call it leap year any
how?"
Because the men are kept on the
Jump lodging the dear old girls,
guess."-Kansas City Times.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
Ooings of a Divinity.

She-Do YOU really believe there's a
divinity that shapes our ends?
He-Wel, l know many a little ''di-
vinity" has had a lot to do with Il
mans inish.-Yonkers Statesman.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
A Guilty Conscience.

~"Sawyer!!' bawled the conductor as
his train approached the town of that
name.
Don't care if YOU did," said the
young swain who had just kissed his
girl. 1--WE are going to be married
next month!"-Harper's Weekly.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
Merely 1riHe.

"Deah me" sighed Cholly Sappy.
I'm a twife undah the weathah''-
"Of course You are" interrupted
Miss Knox, III you're under the wealth
er at al. "-Philadelphia Press.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
How Secretary Cortelyou
Runs the Treasury Depart.
ment and Drives Dull Care
Away From His Door :
T has been a strenuous period for

Vt has been a strenuous period for
George Bruce Cortelyou, secre-
tary of the treasury. Since the
beginning Of regulations in the
financial world last autumn up to the
present time there has not been a day
On which he could bid dull care Zee
away and feel himself at liberty to do
q little loaf1ng. He has had the finan-
c1al stringency on his mind; he has
had to give advice on currency reform
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
Politeness q Check.

"What is it they call these burnt
wood decorations?"
II don't know the name.for it."
"But it is a common word"
II would tell you what l call it only
for the fact that there are ladies pres
ent."
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
RECIPE FOR OLD ACE
Physicians Health Rules For
Living Over a Century.
TOOK CARE OF HIS STOMACH

In This, the Late Dr.. w. NJ. Starr 81
Washington Declared, Lay Secret Of
Longevity Which All Might Attain.
Never Went Into Water Above His
Head.
DR.. William NJ. Starr, Oldest citizen
of the District of Columbia, who re.
Gently died at Washington from cys-
tits. lived to be 1O1 years old and told
how he did it.
DR.. Starr had a varied r He
was born on what was afterward the
battlefield Of Bull Run, in Virginia.
He Travelled extensively in the west.
where he built and sold log cabins.
Then he became a miner in California
in 1S49, a planter in Louisiana, a SOL
der in the Confederate army ami end
ed his days as a medical botanist in
Washington.
DR.. Starr never had the services of
q physician until his last illness, when
he was attended by DR.. J. H. Waring
Of Washington.
Longevity is assured every one if
he will treat his stomach decently,"
said DIR. Starr in explaining his long
life. That Is the treatment l have
accorded mine since l was fourteen
years old. Here are a few of my
simple rules. to which l attribute the
years that have passed over my head
without leaving the marks l see upon
many younger men around me:
II never ate as much as l could eat
In my entire life.
Il never drank intoxicants of any
kind.
Il have never used tobacco in any
form.
Il have never taken more than half
a glass of ice water at once.
Il never drank ice water after meals,
thus p%aralyzing the digestive organs.
Il have never gone in water above
my head. A mans head has no more
business under the water than a fish
has out Of it.
Il only learned what foods were In
furious and those which assisted nature
in its work. l always avoided the
former.
II have never remained in q draft
when Overheated.
Il eat only two meals a day-at 8 a.
m. and 4 p. m"
A short time before his death DR..
Starr said:
For more than thirty years l have
followed a regular programme. re.
tire early. rise a little before 8 and eat
. light breakfast. For the morning
meal l generally order two scrambled
eggs, bread and butter, mashed pota-
toes and stale bread and milk. The
menu for the afternoon meal. taken at
4 O'Clock, Is practically the same. with
the addition Of lean meats, tomatoes.
prunes or apple sauce l eat but two
meals a day. drink no water with
my food. Under no circumstances
would ( take a glass of ice water. Ice
water poured into the stomach at meal
simply stops digestion until the
water becomes the temperature of the
blood.
"A large part Of the human family
dig their graves with their teeth.
They eat what they should not, they
eat when they should not. and they eat
more than they should and then ex-
pect some doctor with poisonous medi-
cines to keep them in health. Every.
thing you eat. drink or chew Is either
a benefit or an injury to you. Remem-
Der that. What not to eat is just as
as what to eat.
investigation has taught me that If
you would live long you must put on
the blacklist all pies and pastry. oat.
meal. fat meats Of every kind, coffee.
warm bread and In some respects milk.
Too much milk Is not good for auy
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-04-08
Is It Still Wh;te7

You'd like you think to take a drink
And feel it Is a shame,
But you your grief must now suage
Because you know a clean white page
Is headed with your name.