Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-02-14
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lng?" Nope. What Is it?" "Oh,
there's no foundation to lt."-Pioneer
Press.
Mrs. Black-Nothing that mother
eats agrees with her. Black-Food
seems to have human intelligence
Town Topics
Mrs. Newed-My husband never
speaks cross word TO me, Mrs. Old
wed-Indeedl How long have you been
living apart2-C Chicago News,
81 hear you have been hunting, Any
luckf' Yes. Only one man mistook
me for rabbit and he was a poor
shot. Chicago Record Herald,
Muriel--Why didn't you marry him?
Everybody says he has reformed. Maud
! Yes but he reformed too late His
! money was all gone--New Orleans
| Times Democrat.
Passenger-Are you goin' to hang
about here all day, or what2 Busman
If yer don't like 1t, yer can git off
an walk, passenger-Oh. that's all
right I'm not In such hurry as all
hat--punch
First Vlstor-Most interesting coun-
try round about here Have you seen
the ruins? Second Visitor (who has
just paid his bill)-Yes | suppose you
mean the guests leaving this hotel
Loadon 14tBlts
Ia ~E.vA ..A n ha-
lieve that bleaching the hair leads TO
softenlng of the brain? Doctor~-No;
but believe that softenlng of the brain
sometimes leads TO bleaching of the
hair.--~Chicago News
Don't you find that living out there
in the suburbs is drawback to your
businessTr ION the contrary, / find
that my business Is a drawback to my
living out there In the suburbs. -
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Il understand you have perfected an
other great invention" Yes" am
swered the scientist, modestly. us 1t
on the market7" oh It wasn't intend
ed for the market It's for the maya
zines. Washington Star.
Bobby Sisters got beau all right
Tommy-What makes you think SO?
Bobby She used to say; Bobby, see
who's calling" when the phone rang.
| Now she runs to 1t herself, instead OF
telling me- Cleveland Leader,
Bacon Would you call him a good
talker2 Egbert No, | would not
How many times have you heard him
talkf" only once" And when was
thatT when he was trying to open
car window "-Yonkers Statesman.
'Bilkins tells me he IL getting awfully
tired Of living alone" II would think
he'd marry and settle down" Il was
talking with him about 1t the other day.
and he says he doesn't know whether
to get married or buy phonograph."~-
Milwaukee Sentinel.
II met Dunkey to-day for the first
time In years He hasn't changed
much." "Oh he hasn't changed at ALL
but he doesn't seem to realize It," How
do you meanp "Oh. he's forever talk
Ing about what fool he used TO be- F"
Philadelphia Press.
The Lady So you are an old soldier
How thrilllngl Tell me what Is the
narrowest escape you ever had? The
swatty-Weli, mum, oncet | was trans
ferred from regiment jest two days
before 1t wuz ordered to the Filler
t,onps ltnvafand Leader
| Wlge-poor Burroughs he's worry.
Ing n great deal about debts New
tit Nonsense You'll never catch him
worrying because he can't pay his
debts. Wise-He's not worrying about
old debts he can't pay, but about new
ones he can't contract. Philadelphia
| Press
Mamma what Is that book you are
reading. WIllie2 Little Willie-It's Il
book called Child Training" that
| borrowed from Mrs. Smith. Mamma
| DO you find 1t amusing. Little While
oh. no merely wanted to zee II |
had been brought up properly. Boston
Courier.
| Third Floor Tenant~-See here! I'm
| one Of Il committee Of men in this
apartment, and I've called to ask you
| TO sell your flute. Second Floor Ten
ant--Dellghted to see you. I'm one of
another committee, and was about to
90 up and ask you If you'd sell your
-LippIncott's Magazine.
I'm 70 happy" says Mrs. odcastle.
'My son is TO get hts bachelors degree
this year" lis heT7 replied her host
ese. We'll, l can't blame you for feel
In az you do about 1t. / never thought
much Of that snippy Wilson girl he's
| been goin' with How did you get the
1 match broke offY--ChIcago Record
| Herald.
I! A suburban minister during his dis
course one Sabbath morning said "En
each blade Of grass there Is a sermon. "
The following day one Of his flock dis
covered the good man pushing a lawn
Oh Il 4 4