The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-05-20
HERE AND THERE.

aren't paid for at all.
General Grant is going to mobilize
the Eastern forces of the regular army
and the militia and engage in harm
less imitation of war. He is welcome
to fight it out on this line il it takes all
summer.
A grandmother in New York is
suing a young man for breach of
promise TO marry. He ought to be
thankful to get off SO easy. Pay the
bill and keep out of trouble hereafter.
There seems to be Democracy in the
Navy after all. Wives OF the Admirals
danced with Jolly Tars in San Francis
co. Will they be open to the same
engagements at Newporl'
The potato trust is looking for
manager worth $4,000 year, No
small potatoes need apply
1t is alleged that Roosevelt said that
a certain Senator's brains were nothing
but sweetbreads. We do not know
who the Senator indicated is, but Ger
tainly it isn't Jeff Davis who was meant
His brains may be only saur-kraut.
1t is the duty Of every gentleman to
be good to his mother and patient
with his wife.
In this day OF Merry Widow hats,
eternal vigilance is the price of eye
sight
Ii would not be bad idea for the
people to unite in a heroic effort TO get
all the pet drunkards out oil Congress
and off the bench.
ust because the Bible says, all flesh
is as grass, it doesn't follow that man
should be rake.
The House Of Representatives costs
us st so minute yet people still say
that talk is cheap number. The
- G the | Il
| The humps of eamels are q. .,
Jumps of fat and not provided for in
the framework of the skeleton. When
the animal is in good condition the
humps are full and plump, ON long
Journey, where food is scarce the
humps are entirely absorbed, the skin
covering them hanging over the flank
like an empty bag.
| When woman wants to drive any
thing out of the house she Shoes it a
man usually boots IT,
81 want ii understood" said wife
to her husband, "that am woman of
few words" eyes, ! know" replied
the husband, "but don't you think you
are overworking them a trlle."
The man who drank pure alcohol
steadily for two days is dead and il
would seem as il he were preserved be-
yond the necessity of embalming.
1t will surprise most persons to know
that George II. Williams, of Oregon,
who was member of Grants Cabinet
in his first term is still alive and has
just been elected a delegate to the
Chicago convention.
Richard Croker's daughter won't
marry nobleman 1t is much better
all things concerned, that she wed
Tammany brave and keep the money
in the family.
| The things that come to those who
wait are generally the things that no
body else wants
A horse may be a racer but when II
mans fortune Is wiped out betting on
him he is also an eracer.
| Raising OF potatoes already cooked
reported from Connecticut indicates
that the grating of the Manhattan
cocktail on the cherry tree is only a
matter of time.
| New York gamblers are said to have
heeced Pittsburg men out Of million
dollars. Does Pittsburg produce no
hawks OF its own No nothing but
pigeons.
Many man who thinks he is the
whole thing really resembles the part
that is missing from doughnui.
When a man is once enrolled in the
army OF the unemployed he hates to
become deserter.
In the Prohibition states the first aid
to the injured is probably lemonade
"1'his looks like horse on me-" re-
marked the bartender, as the fellow
who had ordered a poney of brandy
: went out without paying for it.
The one thing that makes mar
think Of his own boyhood is when he
is washing his face.
About the only industry which gives
no evidence Of depression these days is
that Of building and operating flying
machines. 1t is going up all the time.
Special Biscuit Every afternoon
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