The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1908-10-14

belief it vhas over twenty"
Made Old Maid Gissle.
Vheu, dot makes der old maid gig
gle und hug herself und be happy for
a whole week. It don't cost me any
thing to say so, und it vhas worth a
hundred dollars to her. Do you belief
dot any dago cobbler could get her
custom AWAY from me2 Not on your
Life! On Tuesday morning der old
widower comes In. He has three pairs
Of shoes, and one pair vhas to be fixed
GOD every time he yhas seexty years
old und all crippled oop NIT rheu-
matism, but he likes to get married
again.
"vhell, cobbler, how vhas it," be
says ash he comes in.
1T couldn't be better. No need to
ask you how you Thas today. You
come tripping in like a young mans
Of twenty-five. I thought you once
told me you vhas almost feefty?"
"Yes, said So"
"Und dot your rheumatism VIA, aw.
full badT'
"vheu haf few twinges on wet
day"
"Get QUIT You vhas shotzing III ask
q man how old he think you vhas, be
says forty at der. outside, and IL l ask
him about your rheumatism he says
dot you vhas spry enough to lead a
dance. Do you know dot If I vhas like
you I'd be OF hunting In der Becky
mountainsF .:
He SMILES und chuckles, und pooty
soon be drops bis voice ieetle und
says "Cobbler, sometimes think Of
getting married again"
'Of course. Why mott"
Il yhas alone In der world. yoa
know. und It vhas lonely fos me-"
"Certainly II vhas. Good gracious, II
vhas Like you ia be married. in
month"
ITO woman about forty years oadT
mot on your life! TO q girl not over
twenty-five. You vhant to marry some
one young enough to climb trees. go
fishing. slide down bill und keep der
house lively"
He smiles to himself und don't say
word for a long time. Den be leans
over to me und whispers:
"Cobblef, you should be In der presi-
dents cabinet instead OF here. If you
happen to know young gin OF about
twenty you might mention my name to
her,"
On Wednesdays It vhas der fat wtd-
ow womans NIT four grown up sons
und daughters. She Vhas short and
dumpy. She vhalks like some ducks.
She sails I'm NIT her head held high und
begins:
''Cobbser. dis may be my tast visit to
you"
"Great heffens~
'Yes, think Of going Tar, tar
AWAY" -.
"But vhyY'
"Vhell. one OF my married daughters
shust called me an old fool again.
Dots about one hooneeed times hat
heard it from my children. und can't
stand It DO more"
'~Your children shouldn't talk DOT
vhey," says as she sits down und
wipes he< eyes. ''Maype you like to tell
me What It vhas aboutY
"Of course. Dots What am here for.
You vhas my cobb!er und can be trust
ed Last night bad beau"
"Dos Vhas, right"
"He vhas a nice man, 1nd he owns
half a brewery"
perfectly proper. If own half
brewery und don't be married court
you myself. Go on"
HE says be sees me ten times before
md vhas charmed NIT me-"
ANYBODY must be-"
He Likes Hes Figsre
HE likes my figure und my walk,
und he says my face yhas rapturous.
Hat you ever noticed dose things about
me?
'Have I? By goiiy, DO you belief I
vhas blind mans because 1 vhas
cobbles? What else did he sayr'
"He takes hold Of my hand und
says vhas syiph. Cobbter, I vhas
grandly educated, but forget for
moment What sy!ph vhas. Can you
tell? My daughter says It vhas
load Of hay, but can't belief DOT"
''Your daughter vhas shealous A
sylph. my dear wonans, means fe-
male Of perfect form, shust like you.
It means dot she vhas wavy und wob-
bly,. It means dot she can spring over
mud puddles und shump over Logs und
bitches. You hat read Of Lillian BUS
sell, der actress, haven't youY'
TT seems Like bad"