The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-07-16
HIT THE WRONG BANK
Story of the Man Who Wanted to
Open a Small Account.
"A WALL STREET EXPERIENCE.
The Would Ne Dspcsltor Of Modest
Means Found Himself In a Place For
Millionaires--An Officials Courteous
Explanation and Advice.


Explanation and Advice.
"when," said the man who writes
pieces for magazines and things, by
some strange and unprecedented chance,
| had got hold OF matter OF $3.50 all
at one and the same time 1t looked big
to me BY an even more curious
chance there wasn't anything that !
really needed to do with the money, so
decided that I'd bank II.
Now. | knew In general way that
In order to put money In bank you've
got to be known and give your pedl-
gree and look respectable, and oil that,
and hated to approach a bank with.
out any sort OF credentials, Therefore
went to the business manager OF q
certain magazine which occasionally
prints pieces that | write and asked
him what I'd better do.
Simplest thing In the world said
he. III give you note to our bank
"That sounded fine to me. He wrote
Inc the note, and started for the bank
good deal tickled over how easy the
little depositlng proceeding had been
made.
THE bank TO which had the note is
In Wall street. asked the uniformed
man who was standing around where
I'd find the receiving teller's' window
and he pointed that window out to me-
got into line and watched the teller
take In money.
II must own that was bit stalled
to note the great size Of some Of the
deposits he was receiving. Why, fel.
lows were giving the money 10 him by
the satchelful. But had my note in
my pocket. and | remained complacent
enough with that consciousness.
when reached the receiving teller
| passed In my note, and the receiving
teller, decidedly civil young man.
opened II and read it. Then he looked
ut me, after which he read the note
again, this time with sort of puzzled
expression on his countenance. | didn't
see why the receiving teller should be
puzzled over such simple matter. but
puzzled he seemed. He rang bell,
and the uniformed man who'd directed
me to that window appeared.
"'Show this gentleman to the Office
Of the cashier said the receiving teller
to the uniformed man, at the saiuc
time regarding me with pleasant
smile, and the uniformed man led me
down the plssageway and took me
behind ,..lIng where there was a
handsome gray haired gentleman sit
ting at desk.
"The handsome gray haired gentle
man received me cordially and invited
me to be seated. | handed him my
note, which the receiving teller had
returned to me, and he leaned back II
his chair and read II carefully. Their
he, too, looked puzzled after he'd read
the note second time. Then he look
ed at me pleasantly over the tops Of
his spectacles.
"'Ahemv said the handsome gray
haired gentleman. not disagreeably, bu
in a nice, banker-like way. Might l.
er-inquire, Mr.. Penphist, withou
seeming to be unduly inquisitive, n
to hover large balance yol
would usually be carryIngT
"Well. that was n civll enough ques
ton, nothing inquisitiye about 1t.
"'Why, sir, | said to the handsome
gray haired gentleman, j am opening
an account with a matter 81 some 1886
but | shall no doubt make some addi
tions to that within the next tw,
months. and probably shall carry
balance Of well, say, $500 or 5000 righ
along.
"The kindly cashier with the gra.
hair fairly beaned upon me.
"'Er-just so, just So said he, twid
ding his thumbs. We feel .compli
mented, Mr.. Penphist. we really DE-
that you should have come to us. An,
it is unfortunate really unfortu
nate, that we are so utterly lacking i
facilities for taking care Of account
Of such a character
4 "'You see. Mr.. Penphlst, our instltu
ton Is of--er--a sort Of special charaC
ter. 1t is used as depository by
well, perhaDs ! should put 1t In
clearer M say 1t to you quite i
confidence. y%a understand, Mr. Pei
phist, but we have only 1000 deposl
ors on our books. and these 1000 dc
positors' aggregate balances amount a
the time to matter Of S110000,000.
4 "Well. that was about enough
saw the light then. I'd drifted Int
millionaires' bank on the careless ere
dentials of business manager who
written me that note no doubt In
thoughtless mood.
'"The gray haired cashier acted bull
about it. He recommended a fine ban
to me-'one that combines perfect Y
sponsibility with the necessary faciI
ties for handling accounts like er.
yours, Mr.. Penphist,' he added.
"For all Of the cashiers niceness
walked out Of there into the cold gra
light of Wall street feeling like a goo
deal Of a human caterpillar.
Il didn't 20 to the bank recommends
to me by The cashier; didn't have III
nerve to visit any more banks. Nv