The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-09-06

cfte0 the IiVely Oio iady, tndt oJOub vulgar wretch with iron heels and the big mouth and the imitation gold chain, who stared at us so7''
 Mir. Titmarsh did not like to hear his friends abused. "That young geh- tleman's name Is Augustus Hoskins." said he. We live together; and a better or more kind hearted fellow does not exist"
 You're quite right to stand up for your friends, sir" said the elder of the two young ladies, who was addressed las Lady Jane.
 Well. on my conscience, so he Is now" said the old lady and began at once to enumerate all the Hoskinses that she knew-the Admiral Hoskinses and the General Hoslxinses and the Sir George Hoskinses. and score of other great country families of the name.
 Nam" said Mir. Titmarsh, "Gus's father Is a leather seller in Skinner streets very respectable house. ma'am."
 The young ladies smiled at this. T like you, sir" said Lady Jane, flor not being ashamed of your friends. Shall we have the pleasure of setting you down anywhere. Mir. TitmarshT'
 MT. Titmarsh explained that he had few hours of from the office, and that he should be very happy indeed to take 2 drive in the park if 1t were no effense."
 'rm sure it will give us--inhnite pleasure" said Lady Jane.
 "Oh. that 1t willi" cried the younger or the two. Lady Fanny. clapping her the park" she added wickedly, Eve can walk in Kensington Gardens with Mir. Titmarsh."
 Indeed. Fanny. we will do no such thing" said Lady Jane.
 Indeed. but we wiilp' shrieked the young lady. Amt dying to know ev- erything about his uncle and thirteen
 Dozens of gentlemen on horseback came to the carriage when it entered the park and complimented Lady Fam ny and bowed respectfully to Lady Jane, and had their joke with the old lady. whom they addressed as Lady Drum. Lady Fanny seemed to be lock- ing eagerly for some one, which caus- cd Mir. Titmarsh to wink at Lady Jane and say. T guess the young lady is looking for Somebody" at which both turned scarlet and then began to laugh. as If he had said the funniest thing In the world.
 Presently fine gentleman on a fine horse came riding up and Miss Fanny betrayed that this was the Somebody.
 Let me introduce the Earl of rip- toff to Mr. Tftmarsh," said Lady Jane. His Lordship growied out something and galloped of again. leaving Mir. Titmareh to wonder how he could have offended the gentleman.
 He seemed destined to offend all the men that day. for who should come up but the Right Hon. Edmund Preston. one of His Majesty's Secretaries of State, as Mir. Titmarsh knew very well from the almanac in the office. and the husband of Lady Jane. The Right Hon. Edmund was fat. paie-fased afraid of the gray cob on which he was mounted.
 "Who the devils thatf" said he surl- fly to his wife.
 "Oh," said Fanny at once, with a sly smile. 'it's Mir. Titmarsh, a cousin of grandma's by the Hoggarty side. Don't you know the Hoggarty's Edmund?"
 Mir. Titmarsh was quite amazed to hear of this relationship. Lady Drum, who had the mania of fancying all the world related to her, and had even claimed poor Gus Hoskins as cousin during the ride, said at once.
 ''Yes. we're cousins, and not very far and plunged into marvel ously intricate recital of Irish and Eng lish pedigrees till the Right Honorable said Damn the Huggarties, ma'am."
 He said it so energetically that his horse lashed out, and Mir. Preston. overcome with fright. hastily accepted Lady Drums invitation to take seat have offered to alight had the Right not been so insolent. As 1t was, he remained comfortably in his corner, which forced His MaJesty's Sec retary of State to ride bodkin. T was going to offer to ride your horse home for you" said he innocently, "as you seemed to be rather frightened at 1t. But the fact is that I'm so co1nforta- ble here I couldn't move.
 Lady Drums little eyes twtnkled and her sly mouth puckered up with joy. we shall always be happy of your cousin Titmarsh." said she.
 Hadn't you better invite this gen. Lleman home to dinner asked MT. Preston, quite blue with rage.
 As we are going to your house 10 | dine and you press it. shall, said Lady Drum.
 'I'm very sorry. I'm engaged" said Mr Titmarsh.
 .oh, indeed. what pityl" said MT. Preston. glowering at his wife who |
 At this Mr. Titmarsh spoke up and l said: Why, ladies. as the honorable gent Is so pressing, I'll give up my and shall have sincere pleasure in cutting mutton with him. What's your hour, sirT'
 MT. Preston did not condescend to answer and MT. Titmarsh did not care, for he had no intention of dining with lin, but only to give him lesson in manners When the carriage drove up to his door he got out as politely as possible walked into the hall and then took hold of one of Mir. Preston's but tons.
 sSir." said he, "thls kind old lady asked me into her carriage and rode In 1t to please her. not myself. But lont be frightened, I'm not a-going 10 dine with you; only if you play the same joke upon other parties--on some of the chaps in our office. for exam ole-I recommend you to have a care pr they will take you at your word"
 MT. Preston broke away and flung himself into his study in rage. Lady Drum. eager for dinner, was for hur- wing away her nieces at once, but Lady Jane came forward very pale and and apologized, while Lady Fanny held out her little hand and gave lis such squeeze that he blushed to lis ears.
 As soon as they had disappeared he ;lapped his hat on his head. brave as l Hon. and stalked past the footmsn 'eady to knock them down. Then he vent home and dined off boiled nut ton and turnips with Gus Hoskins Iuite peacefully.
 He did not tell Gus about the fam ly quarrel. but merely said that the ,ld lady was a cousin of his. You may le sure that Gus told all the clerks md Mir. Titmarsh was not sorry that hese gents should hear 1t. The next -A