The Lambertville record., 1908-03-18
HERE AND 1HERE.

B
that except for the honor the thing he
would just as soon walk.
A census OF the town OF Preston,
Delaware, shows that with popula-
ton of cog inhabitants it supports four
churches, two school houses, and TWEEN.
| ty four business establishments, there
are thirteen persons of the age OF 80
years and there are i8 widows, wid-
overs and S old maids
A woman trying to conceal her age
is like the ostrich hiding its head in the
sand.
twenty-five hits in twenty-five shots
in four minutes, twenty. eight seconds
isn't bad answer to some of the crit.
les who are finding fault with the
American Navy This was made by
the crew OF the cruiser Pcnna. in tar
get practice.
A resident OF east Texas who died
recently had his body placed in a steel
vault that is. burglar.proof and water.
proof. Evidently the element ot fire
was not considered
Inscriptions on Old Baby lonian lab
lets show that the "Teachers Salary
fight is overlhree thousand years old.
But Is safe to bet thai not one woman
can be found who will clam credit for
originating the movement.
What this world needs is peace and
mutual confidence and more hired
girls.
A drng manufacturer who refused To
swallow bottle OF his own medicine
was fined $3.50 That wasn't what he
put up the remedy Tor He found how
ever that Uncle Sam insists that he tell
what is in the remedy.
The ,enaie wants to add OF, more
officers to the regular army Al this
rate there will soon he more officers
than prisates.
Massachusetts Jail, are SO full that
65 men were turned loose for want OF
accommodations
Charles n. Hull, professor Of Ameri.
can History, has made a statement that
the average president OF the United
States has not measured up in ability
to the average crown head of Europe
IN the last thousand years. We dissent
| from the professor and insist tha, our
record stands for itself as one OF pro-
gressive achievement, excelling that OF
any other nation.
Kentucky has well nigh banished
rum, but is having mere trouble over
tobacco. Queer sort OF reformers, those
kentuckians.
An aged negro nanny, born in the
the eighteenth century, has just died,
and the only remarkable thing about
her is that she never cooked for George
Washington.
A Missouri inventor claims that he
can manufacture gas that can he sold
for one cent per thousand feet. Now
watch for a meter that is guaranteed to
produce the same old profits.
Milk is 4 good cxtinguisher OF burn
ing oil. Let the people please take
note.
A cigarette stump is responsible Tor
a fire in the Martha Washington hotel,
and this is hostelry for women cx-
clusively
A statistical iend says that England
spends for drink every year 100000,
600, enough to float the English Navy.
A practical test would probably land
the English Navy high and dry on
land.
Undertakes OF Passaic, N. j., in or
der to celebrate 4 prosperous business
year held a dinner the other night and
made merry. But why live in Passaic
county anyway
A Missouri woman secured $soI
damages from man who called her
an "old cat" One dollar for the cpl
thet probably, and five hundred for the
imputation of age.
A 40 pound citizen Of Connecticut
is too big for Jail cell. There are
any number of 10 pound capitalists
who have also proved that they are too
big for any ordinary cell.
A Wisconsin girl who forgot that in
delible ink will not wash off. painted
her face to make her look like the devil.
She does.
This seeems to be 4 time when
science ought show its Utmost in saw
| ing the life of T. lison. He has done a
| lot for science and has never asked for
| anything on his own account.
A New York storekeeper claims that
he has been robbed fifty times in forty
two years. Certainly, in New York.
keep your mouths shut and obey
ORDERS" said Taft to the graduating
class a, West Point. Good advice,
and it might also be made applicable