The Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1903-1909, 1908-05-09

'Ye-es. Let's come away, old man.
1t may ask US for loan"
Talent, lying In the understanding,
is often inherited; genius, being the &C
ton Of reason and imagination, rarely
or never.-Coleridge.
Caller-Are you sure your mistress
isn't in?
New Maid-I hope you don't doubt
her word, sir.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Ella-What sort of a man do you ex-
pect to marryi
Stella-You may be assured that
shall get dirigible husband.
Young man, don't you know that
it's much better to be alone than in
bad company
Eyes, sir. Goodby, sirP'
Pistols were first used by the Eng
lish cavalry in 1914. They are said to
have been invented in the small Ital-
ian town Of Pistoria.
"Now, Johnny, did you look up the
meaning of court of lawT
"Yesm. It's a place where they dis
pense with justice. Exchange.
Mrs. Knaggs-What We wearin' that
black band round yer hat for?
Mr.. Knaggs-That's for your first us
band. I'm sorry e died!-Tit- Bits.
1t takes FIVE years to tan the hide Of
an elephant, but only one sweep Of a
powder puff to hide the tan Of sum-
mer girl.
The deepest hole in the world has
been bored in Silesia. 1t has reached
a depth of about 1000 feet and passes
through eighty-three beds of coal.
Life Insurance Examiner-Of what
did your father die, Pat?
Pat-I don't know, doctor, but I'm
sure 1t was nothing serious.
Stranger-This village boasts Of
band, doesn't it?
Resident--No; we just endure it with
resignation.
Mrs. Watts-Don't you ever do any
thing at all?
Weary William-Oh. yes, mum. Some
times ! does time.
Stammering Arm, Red Finger, the
Bees Nest and Cold Water are sam
Piles Of the peculiar names borne by
some Welsh farms.
Golfer-Dear, dear! There cannot be
worse players than myself!
Caddie-Weel, maybe they're worse
players, but they dinna play!
Ill luck is in nine cases out Of ten
the result of saying pleasure first and
duty second, instead of duty first and
pleasure second.
"That Mrs. Sawbones always alludes
to her husband as the dear DOCTOR"
"Well that's the kind of doctor he
is."-Tit- Bits.
Landlord Washington once slept In
that bed you occupied last night.
Guest-That's more than l could do.
Judge.
More than 10000 specimens Of fossil
insects have been collected from vari-
GUS portions of the world. OF these the
rarest are the butterflies.
Farmer-Somethin the matter with
the machine? Voice (from the auto)-
No. I just crawled under here to get
out Of the sun.-Smart Set
Teacher-Gerald, can you tell me
how matches are made?
Small Geraldine. ma am. But don't
blame you for trying to find out.
Teacher-Why, what do you mean?
Small Gerald other says you have
been trying to make one for years, but
can't-Chicago News.
1T hear" said Mrs. Oldcastle, 'that
Miss Wadsworth has taken up the
study of Gaelic"
HAS she% replied her hostess as she
kicked back corner Of the $4,000
rug. "Josiah wanted me to take 1t up.
but I never was no hand for cards.
Chicago Record Herald.
Nell-Why doesn't Maude Join your
sewing circle?
Belle-She wouldn't be of very much
use.
Nell-Can't she sew?
Belle-Oh. yes. she can sew, but she
has an impeachment in her speech
Philadelphia Record.
by the use Of little cleverness,"
began old Brokeley, II know way to
secure a very excellent substitute for
gold"
"HowT' asked Markley eagerly.
"Ask for silver. Haven't got half
dollar or SO about you, have your
Philadelphia Press.
Whit-How does the new bay marc
travel?
skit-Fine. Took my girl out driv-
ing yesterday, and she went great
My arms are positively sore from hold
ing her in.
Withholding who in?-London II
Illustrated Bits.
Tyburn was the place of execution In
London for felons and was used for
this purpose from the reign of Henry
4tn NH 80