Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-05-16
DING
THE BABY

Ever since I've been In New York I've
lived IN boarding house in Gramercy
place. 1t was good enough place and
I'd probably stay there for the rest
Of my life II 1t had not been for 4
young man named Smith and his wife.
who took tho room next to mine
and" r. ..
"Ah! ! see," said Roysten. Tried
to fiirt with the pretty Mrs. Smith and
the jealous husband naturally went
for you"
"Worse'n that blamed sight" said
Potter. dolefully. she went for me
herself. then the laudlady sailed in
and finally the whole house. and II
ever I rock baby for anybody again
may I be struck of hfe-size as a sam
pie of q real idiot Now. anybody to
look at me could. ! suppose, take me
for an obliging man. he added. paus-
ing to wait for some expression of
opinion to come out Of the dense cloud
OF smoke opposite.
''Er-yes. Pray go on"
well, those Smiths began to sus-
pect 1t the minute they saw nc
hadn't been There a week before ray
room looked as II I boarded some
where else-actually that fellow had
borrowed everything that could be
moved. invited me to smoke my own
cigars and said he felt more ac-
quainted with me than he did with his
twin brother-found out since he
never had twin brother. Got so
COMPOUNDED chummy and so all over
that only had room enough to be
chummy back again. by George. and
demme IL didn't feel grateful for
even that, Went home one evening
dead sleepy and beat out-had set up
all night before with sick chap-and
the minute I struck my room there
was Smith waiting for me. Said he
and his wife wanted to 60 round the
corner on an errand. and asked me II
wouldn't Just listen. and IL ! heard
their baby Cry 60 in and jog the
cradle. ] said | would, like an ass,
and after they'd gone. and long before
Id begun to listen. that cry broke out
in the next room like bagpipe. Cad.
how sleepy Twas! But l went in and
logged that cradle. logged 1t like the
deuce, and the more logged the more
the little whelp yelled. Thought. per.
haps, It had the nightmare or some
thing. and hauled 1t out OF Its bunk
ard lind of threw itsfound to wake 1t
up. but when I tried to see II 1t had its
eyes open, I'll be blamed II I could find
any eyes. 1t went right on getting
redder and redder, bowling like forty
demons, and finally wrigsled so way
iuside OF itself that couldn't see any
thing hut clothes. and dida't know
where TO take hold OF the little imp.
by tove, but I was sleepy. though.
and mad enough to wiring Smiths
neck! I didn't know what on earth to
do-never'd been 30 near a cub In my
life. whistied to II. swore at It.
shouted Ben Bolt over it, tried to look
like its mother. told It twas 'muvver's
ownzey's title izzie. wizzie, dizzie,' but
II didn't believe . word Of ft--1ust
hooted two octaves higher up and for
I'VE minutes I ALMOST wished was
dead. Then I thought I'd lay it down
again-pever forget how awful sleepy
I was-gness my foot slipped or some
thing: anyway. We both fell In the
cradle. OF course. the poor little thing
broke out in fresh spot-been a foo!
II II hadn't-and ] braced up and be-
gan jogging that cradle again like
mad. I was desperate. The chandelier
jingled. the pictures got to hanging
crooked, the floor creaked and the
cradle cracked. You'd thought all
Bedlam had q day oR-the little tar.
tar's howls weren't In it-sounded AZ
II they'd been wrapped mp and said
away somewhere and-just then in
maIked Smith and his wife and BEGAN
70 apologize for staying % long, while
! made for the door. / didn't get
there, however. Tor Mrs- Smith was
looking in the cradle and screaming.
Where. oh. where is my angel child.
ron monster Of Q mani And then
Smith looked. too. and leapea all over
me. shouting out: Where 10 my boy.
you scoundreI!"
Then looked myself. and felt
nearer the electric chair than ever
expected to, for that cradle didn't have |
q devil.sh thing in t. Everything was
on the floor. but the baby was mo-
where. and they went tn c'awing az
me a. ~ had II IN m inside pocket
We heard II taking TO Itself some |
where. bat Il might have been . ven
rilcquist TIE way II kept Us thinking |
.: was everywhere where II wasn't
cane up srd said the man
below had notified her that . cable
car vas loose upstairs; then the other
brarders focked IN and helped shake !,
things to see II the heby wouldn't fan
ont. tried to explain and said rc
colv 6ccn Soxetne the cradle. but they