New-York tribune., 1908-08-13
THE TALK OF THE DAY.

Possibly not every one has heard the anecdote
about dear old mother whose had been pro-
NOTED to be a commissioned officer. says Army
and Navy Life" He sent her box Of navel or
anges from the South. and this brief note: Dear
Mother-Just handful of navel oranges. some
thing you will find especially choice. Devotedly
Jack"
The mother said to visitors: "Just the very best
boy in all the world But he could learn to
spell Just think of lieutenant spelling naval
with an e instead of "a" And a small n!
Isn't It embarrassing to mother? Still II sounds
the same when you speak it,
''Maggie" said the inexperienced young thing to
the cook. 'the biscuits were sight If you can't
e esf viii sxi Viii i's ye? Ma Maggie iee reoed iii have
ye know, mum, that I've bin workin out two
families in town an amt never bin discharged
Judge
The little girl was very fond OF pleasant days
and at the close of a heavy rainstorm petitioned
in her prayer for fine weather; when the next
morning, the sun shone bright and clear she be-
came tubilant. and told her prayer to her grand
mother, who said:
We'll, dear, why can't you pray tonight that 1t
may be warmer tomorrow, so that grandma's
rheumatism will be better?"
All right, WILL" the quick response: and
that night she knelt she said. 20 Lord. please
make 1t hot for grandma"
Just back from your vacation7"
Yes"
How was it?"
Fine. Fine I haven't have but one regret"
Il wish had waited until next month to take
"why?"
so 1 could have 1t to take."-Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Many Americans of a certain class would indorse
the view of an applicant who appeared in Lon
don court recently, according to Tho Pail Mall
Gazette" and complained that man had given
ba-o T,
fact would suffice an obvious grievance. But
this woman felt that something was neces-
sary to constitute a genuine case for magisterial
notice. II lone woman" she explained. "If
had a husband to give 1t to me wouldn't mind
I'd put up with it; but I don't like other men to
give it to me-" And she asked for and got
her summons.
There is a thick stratum of society, in fact
wherein a black eye ranks very much as kiss
does higher up. Administered by lawful owner
it is legitimate mark of conjugal attention; but
from an outsider it becomes assault The black
eye is not exactly welcomed invited as a sort of
confederation of the wedding ring. and Il is dimly
understood that the law does not sanction it, But
the code cf good form draws strict line between
marital black eyes and others.
Newitt-Yes he's getting out book of his
poems Calls the thing Autumn Leaves" 1 be-
Crittick-You don't say!
Newitt-Yes rather commonplace. don't you
crittick--Yes. and very inappropriate. Autumn
leaves are frequently red-Philadelphia Press.
A girl whose engagements are many and who
is therefore out q good deal has established
telephone hour. In this way her friends are al
WAYS sure of catching her on the wire. and she
in for many unexpected good times that
otherwise might be missed Until she did this
1t was almost impossible to get her. Now if she
is not at home at the telephone time she calls up
the house and tells the maid where she may be
reached The arrangement works TO a charm
she says and nothing would induce her to 20
back to the haphazard fashion of any and no time
little suspicious when you hesitate before telling the
Court your name
Well your honor" answered the who was
arrested for speeding. II have been pretty busy
learning all the numbers my automobile. A
can't remember everything "-Washington
Star.