The Washington herald., 1908-02-02

have any time or inclination TO so seek
ing an affinity. BY the time he had
stacked the hay and put .up the horses
and earned enough money TO buy bread
for twelve mouths, and shoes for twelve
pairs of feet he was only too glad To get
! home and sit beside the fire and smoke
| his pipe It's the modern artifciality OF
| life, the self-rocking cradles and self
working calculators and self-playing pia-
nos, the limited families. the automobiles
and electric cars, that makes things too
easy for us and leave so much time on
our hands that Satan finds work for
them 10 do. This running a home or a
business office by pushing a button is
unnatural and unhealthy. It gives wo-
men time for bargain hunting and men
time for pleasure hunting. and all of MS
time for trouble hunting. A chap didn't
worry about not having a soul mate I'm
the old days, If he had 81 mate who could
make good pies and start a fire without
burning down the house And woman
didn't sigh for an affinity when she was
busy all day long tying up sore fingers
and patching small trousers and watching
20 see that the biscuits didn't burn The
modern Improvements on matrimOny are,
like most patents, OF no real value 20
anybody but the inventor, and ready
made wives are like all things ready
made. apt to be loose-jointed and weak
IN the moral seams and SNOWY on the
outside but not at all comfortable or
useful"
who wants to be useful" scofted the
Bachelor Girl with toss Of her tousled
curly head. The latest model IN wives
is beautiful ana fascinating. She came
into fashion with electric hrouRhams and
touring cars. and, like them, her mission
/ is 10 amuse and entertair you and make
your friends envious--
And keep YOU busy" interpolated the
Mere Man. managing her and making
repairs, and spending your money and
getting out of scraps"
And to make life seem like a picnic
of a century run down HILL continued
the Bachelor Girl
with a bump al the bottom" finished
the Mere Man with a sigh.
when will men know what they
Want?" exclaimed the Bachelor Girl
hopalessly. When they had nice COM
monplace wives i'm curl papers and cook
ing aprons, they sighed for an intellectual
companion who could understand them,
and when women took 20 going 10 col
/ lege, and forming literary cIGbs, and
fighting for "a vote and wearing bloom
ers, they raised their hands in horror
and began 10 wall for the dear feminine
/ creatures in Tufiies and CuTls and now
that we've learned how TO combine ruff
des and cwls with intellectually and
cooking-noW that we're n little Of every
thing
You aren't much OF anything" broke
i'm the Mere Man desperately. You're
makeshift mothers and makeshift beau
ties and makeshift politicians. Give me
"a good old-feshioned wife-"
I've offered you one several times,
declared the Bachelor Girl
What"
Il introduced you to Polly Reynolds"
THAT trump in the mustard-colored
hat?" demanded the Mere Man contempt
uoUsly
She can make lovely waffies, protested
! the Bachelor Girl.
she Sticks back her hair grumbled
| the Mere Nan.
shes a queen in the kitchen. declared
/ the Bachelor Girl.
/ And the color of a lemon"
But I thought you wanted
| you know perfectly well what I
want" said the Mere Man, rising with
dignity
The Bachelor Girl twisted her brushes
/ thoughtfuliy. with her head on one side
If you mean me. Mr Porter" she an
nOunCed after a pause. I've frankly told
you, that I don't know a turnip from a
parsnip. nor a lamb from beef. before
/ they're cooked
And I've frankly told you that don't
care"
And 7 buy eli my frocks ready made"
"They don't look it,
and I'd use bachelors buttons and
self-rOckiug chair-and-'
I'D gladly spend the money for EN-
And I've got all the modern improve
mentS."
But you've got curly hair rejoined
( the Mere Man defiantly, "and q dimple in
your chin. and curves in your elbows. and
I you're q Clrce and a Madonna and a
subtle siren and a Delilah and a Gretchen
and"
"Oh. be careful" cried the Bachelor
/ Girl ia CONSERVATION, as she half closed
( the door between them, I'm IA danger
1 Gus creature
And she laughed softly as she heard the
/ Mere Man dumping disgustedly down the
studio stairs.