The Jasper news., 1908-07-30

!. W.C.Dosne, he who was among usfor
sonae weeks past as the agent for hog
dip concern with headquarters at Kan
sss City, and who was best known to
Jasperites ss ''BilI, the Dipper.nr l. Of
us no more. Bill has taken the wings
Of morning, also the north.bound Mo.
Pacific passenger, and gone hence, leav.
ing behind cherished recollections OF his
sunny disposition, an unpaid board bill
Of some six wet ks standing, a livery
bill OF like Dimensions also unpaid, and
growing understanding on the part OF
Iili's friends, the Socialists, Of how Bill
managed to live and support a family
On dollar day in halcyon days past.
Verify, Bill was wise beyond his gener.
alton. His days among us, like those OF
the early fattening shoat, were short
and sweet. He was an earnest student
Of the doctrine OF '.Gather W Rosebuds
While Ye May" While the hotel and
livery men were wondering why he did
IT occasionally liquidatc, Bill was going
his sweet, untroubled way, selling hog
dip by the gallon, collecting therefore
With most praiseworthy promptness,
but suffering from II lanen BILE loss Of
memory with respect to his personal
bills. 1t was all profit with Bill-all
coming in and nothing going out. The
Socialists hung up prize Of $40 for
anyone who would oppose them 10 debate
and Bill not only coppered tho X, but
induced them to hang up another one
aud coppered it with the same calmpess
that marked his iirst capture. And
his landlord and the livery man heard
the news and each smole glad smile Of
great JOY, for now surely Bill could liz vi.
date. But did Bill liquidate? Nary a
single liquidate. He ordered an extra
piece Of steak each morning and let out
a few notches in his very capable ap-
petite to accommodate the same, but nev
or Ince could he manage to remember
that be was behind the board ON his
bills. Why didn't the landlord levy on
his trunk or other personal possessions,
you sayf Alas, Bill had thoughtfully
fortified b,mself against such contin.
gency. Bill had no trunk and no
''other" personal possessions. Bills
visible capital consisted Of one exceed.
ipgly greasy suit OF clothes, an extra
work shirt and several tons OF highly
polished brass. Why not bounce him,
then, you say, and save further loss!
All, yes! but you didn't know Bill
You could no more bounce him than
you could smite sleeping infant. Bills
talk was pure essence Of sweet oil. He
had more hard luck than any seven men
that have heretofore inhabited this
trouble infested globe. Nobody would
pay him any money, and when they did
some cruel creditor was right there,
Johnny!on.the-spot with bill and 40
icy stare, so what were you going to do!
And in the midst CT it all Bill got mar.
ried. And who, in tho name Of all that
great and good, could present new
bridegroom with cold, unspiritual,
materialistio billf Or at least, who
could be- so hard as to press an accouu,
at such time? 1t could wait, of course
decided landlord and liver, man, and in
the meantime Bill aud bis blushipe
bride yamoosed and were not located
till two days later, when they wore
found at Nevada, where Bill had washed
his fnee, brushed his clothes, bought q
new necktie and started. another board
bill. John Ward went up with thu
necessary papers and interrupted Biii'l
honeymoon, bringing him back to Jasper
to meet his now irate creditors. Bill
met them, but that was all. He didn'i
pay them-for which they were unjus,
enough to call him deadbeat and al
least dozen different varieties Of thief
Bill bore It maniully, however, ani
brsvely ate Ills three meals per day anG
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