davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
Cigarettes as Weddina Fee

As one Of AIanila's leading young
men was looming his evening suit pre-
paratory to keeping social engage
ment he ran his hand into his pocket
and was surprised to find an envelope
there. On opening 1t he discovered %
pesos in bills. Nov, where in thunder
did take on all this money!" he said.
ut isn't mine. for l never carry my
bills around in au envelope" Then he
sat down to think where he had worn
the suit and how he had come by the
% pesos. '.The last place l Wore it."
he mused finally, was when l was
best man ut a wedding a month ago.
But gave DR.. Rossiter his money. I
remember distinctly giving him some
thing, and it must have been his fee.
If didn't give him the money, what
in the world did give him?" He call
ed up Dr. Rossiter by phone. '.Do you
mind telling me-" he asked. "what
gave you for fee at Blanks we'd
ding?" The answer came back very
distinctly and cuttingly: young man,
you gave me box of vile smelling
Observation-Disclosures Gossip.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
A Reaconsf;eid Story.

A lady who was his constant friend
and benefactor begged Lord Beacons-
field to read Mallock's first book and
say something civil about it. The prime
minister replied, with a groan: ASK
me anything, dear lady, except this.
am an old man. Do not make Inc read
your young friends romances."
ooh, but he would be great Access
sion to the Tory party. and civil
word from you would secure him for
ever"
"Oh, well. then, give me pen and a
sheet of paper" And, sitting down in
the lady's drawing room, he wrote:
Dear Mrs. -, am sorry that
cannot dine with you, but am going
down to Hughenden for week. Would
that my solitude could be peopled by
the bright creations of Mr.. NIallock's
fancy Will that do for your young
friend:"
AS an appreciation of book which
one has not read this is perfect
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
The Iowa Homestead.

Good farming, based on sound
principles Of science and practice,
was never more important or prof.
table than now. The Homestead,
aa agricultural and live stock paper
published every Thursday at Des-
Moiues, Iowa, is the best exponent
OF good farming. The Homestead
is edited by farmers who live upon
and operate their own farms right
here in the middle West, so that
their teachings are thoroughly prac-
teal, 1t has departments devoted
to Horticulture, poultry, sheep,
dairy, veterinary, laws affecting
farmers, current events, house and
home, Sunday school lesson, editor
ial comment. live farm gossip, etc.
and its contributors include able and
successful farmers and experiment
station experts throughout the
West. Many farmers in this vicini.
ty are already subscribers for the
Homestead and all should be; as
Whatever adds to the practical
knowledge of the farmer increases
the value Of land and enhances the
prosperity Of the community. We
take subscriptions for this splendid
farm paper at this Office; and, by
special arrangement with the pub
Usher. can give you low ,subscrip-
ton rate fori it ia connection with
The Manchester Democrat. 4S6w
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
EYEsToNEs.
Most Genuine Specimens Found In the
Province of Astrakhan.

Most Genuine Specimens Found In the
Province of Astrakhan.
The collection Of eyestones is a
dying industry. In New York the prin-
cipal sources Of supply are sailors who
touch the Baltic sea. and, as might be
Imagined, the supply is prechrious.
Eyestones are analogous In some re-
spects to bezoars, as they are con-
erection found in the stomach Of the
European crnwfish. Most of the genu-
fne eyestones. crabs eyes, crabstones
or Lapilli cancrorum, are procured in
the province of Astrakhan, in Euro
pean Russia.
There appears to be some confusion
regarding the nature of the eyestone,
for some authorities speak of it as Il
concretion in the stomach of certain
crab and others as of peculiar shell
formation which is separated from the
crab ut the time it sheds its shell.
The SO called crabs eyes are found
fully developed ut the end Of summer
as the crabs begin to shed their shells.
1T is noted that these concretions are
absorbed into the stomach of the crab
during the shedding season and there
-pulverized and absorbed, the dissolved
.calcareous substance being used, 1t is
supposed, for the formation of new
shell. When these calcareous shells
are not normally developed and, alb
:sorbed it is observed that the shedding
process is interrupted, and the crab
dies an early death.-American Drug
&ist.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08

No man is a hero while scasick. La
fayette was sent by Washington and
congress to France to ask further sup
plies of men and money for the Ameri-
can colonies He sailed from Boston
in the frigate Alliance. and passage
had to be cut for the ship through the
ice. Off the Newfoundland banks the
ship was assailed by a terrible tenn
pest which threatened destruction, and
Lafayette was very seasick. His aid
de-camp. the Chevaier de Pontibaud.
who relates the incident in his me-
moirs. heard him soliloquizing thus on
the hope!essness of the situation and
the emptiness of glory:
"Diable! have done well certainly.
At my time of life-barely twenty
years of age with my name, rank and
fortune and after having married Mile.
de Noailles. to leave everything and
serve as breakfast for codish!"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
IL Is a Good Umbrella.

1t was sound, substantial umbrella,
with q CHEEKY wood stick. We found
1t hanging on n peg in the corner of
our room in the hotel at Bruges writes
spy. Such an umbrella could belong
to none but an Englishman, and it at
once occurred to us that it had been
left behind by some former passing
visltant. The umbrella was particu.
larly interesting to me because had
foolishly come away from England
without one. eyed that umbrella as
small boy eyes forbidden orchard.
The next morning threatened rain, and
1 could not resist taking the umbrella
tentatively from its peg. unrolling IT
and displaying its comfortable tent
like proportions. put it back on
the peg with sigh and nobly went
out unprotected. During the stay in
Bruges my eyes and thoughts return
ed to the umbrella with strong fasci-
nation, and on the morning of leav-
ing the temptation was still more
acute The angels of light and dark
ness struggled within me, but the good
one tr!umphed, and we Went to the
station without the umbrella. We left
our luggage in the hotel to be brought
to us at the station by the boots. The
Brussels train came in, but our lug
gage was missing. We took our seats,
and at the last moment the boots rush
ed up, compensating for want Of Eng,
fish by large smile, and dragged our
bags-and the umbrella He threw 1t
In to us, and the train departed. 1t is
good Observation-Disclosures Guard
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
A Nice Calculation,

A Flemish gentleman conceived the
idea that he would only live certain
time, SO he made nice calculation OF
his fortune, which he so apportioned
as to last just the same period as he
guessed his life would extend to
Strangely enough, his calculations
came correct to the letter, for he died
punctually at the time he had pre-
viously reckoned. He had so far ex
hausted his estate that after his debts
had been discharged n solitary pair OF
slippers represented the entire prop.
erty he left. His relatives buried him,
and representation Of the slippers
was carved on the tomb. Today in a
churchyard at Amsterdam his grave
may be seen. the only inscription on
the stone being two Flemish words,
"Effen Nyt" Il. e., "Exactly").
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
WHAT HE WENT AFTER.
The Office Boy Gave the Business Call
er Some Information.

CT o0HlG
The big bell in the city hall tower
had just banged ortli the noon hour.
and the Office buildings were emptying
throngs of workers into the streets to
fill the lunchrooms.
In an elaborate office. seated in
resting OH the edge of the managers
desk. was Plugsy, the office boy of
.Ianworth Il Co., brokers, says Lippin-
colts Magazine. His head was cooked
on one side. and with evident relish
he was putting a huge cigar which his
employer had neglected to finish.
Suddenly the door opened. and Mr.
Whit. a client of the firm. rushed in.
where's Mr. .Janworth?" he de-
manded excitedly.
whats that?" said Plugsy, slowly
removing the cigar from the far corner
OF his mouth.
II want Mr.. .lanworth right away.
Where is hep" repeated Wifi.
Just them the bell of Il fire engine
changed below. and Plugsy leisurely
rose and walked to the window.
Gee" he said thoughtfully. people
do git skeered O. them fire carts. ali
right. all 'rightm Turning around. he
continued: "Boss amt in I'm runnin'
tn business just now. Want any quo
tations or
mo, you IDIOT" yelled the client.
where has he gone-downstairs?"
yep"
"Will he be back after lunch?"
'Naw," yawned the future firm;
''that's what he went out after"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
Not Good Twice.

Iincoln's stories grew better aud bet
ter as he grew older. One Of the best
was told 10 visitor who congratu.
lated him on the almost certain pur-
pose on the part of the people to re-
elect him for another term of four
years. Mr.. Lincoln replied that he had
been told this frequently before and
that when it was first mentioned to
him he was reminded of a farmer In
Illinois who determined to try his own
hand at blasting. After successfully
boring and filling in with powder he
failed in his effort to make the powder
so off, and after discussing the cause
with n locker on and failing to detect
anything wrong in the powder the
farmer suddenly came to the conclu-
sion that it would not go off because 1t
had been shot before.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
Local and Neighborhood News
THE ELECTRIC CRATER.

How the 49,. i,l4 !, p,.a,... ~
tyyosn II f-l.-+r,d.,
rr.r,.ha,u -. a.. ~.
Ia ror.naa H.. 49, a,,,,s,,,n nv nv al a,aa,. ~,
ra.,t IN nass hotwoo,, t,,a ,a;n+s ~ w..
,,,,,nn r,ds n,a =. t,,nsa ut :. " 49,, ,m9
tbn na.tti~e mn, t,a othor tho ,ana
49,. .,,aat,..,,., 49,, ~, .ne nsa
ero,, IN, eorn,or - 40 ,a..sr p ns...,
c,o. Of n.,rlom NO ,,r r;ot NV go, AZ, ~
nasitiva ,.lsn,rn,,a neil ~ III Wv, ~"
ron,os cnn shsnn1 ~ CIV
-,ro the mn ,,u, th,s far,,oa +ho
r,r'n of cr,,ar i, onnlio,, ann e,ors
this crator fnnres.hs AZ H. ~. ,,rh. T..
anIttol mo moaat,no a,aat.oae ,.a Is,
,ot l,ocoma co hat .s .ha ot,,an po
t,,.on +,,a 80 ,;+.Ia -, -
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
lcEBERGs.
They Arc Useful as Well as Grand
and Menacino.


and Menacine.
When an iceberg is launched upon
Its long journey its bottom parts are
barnacled with sand, powders and
other detritus gathered from the land
surface over which 1t has made its
tedious march to the sea. This burden
Is gradually cast off as 1t melts while
drifting down along our continental
seahoard.
AS result of the deposits thus made
through countless centuries, combined
with the products of erosion carried
seaward by the rivers, the sea bed for
many miles off shore has been gradu-
ely filled up, creating those vast sub
merged plateaus, known as "banks,"
which extend from Labrador to the
bay of Fundy and form the breeding
grounds of innumerable shoals of cod,
herring and other valuable food fishes.
In this way the bergs have performed
an economic service of incalculable
value, laying the foundation for one Of
the worlds most important productive
industries and affording means of
livelihood to those hardy bands of
captains courageous" who each year
reap the harvests of the sea.
The bergs serve further economic
purpose in that to their tempering in
fluences are largely due the climatic
conditions prevailing over great part
of the interior of North America.-Al-
fred Sidney johnson in the World To-
day,
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
DROPPED INTO LAW.
.a1e Hotel Man Turned His Court Ex
reriepee ia Account

tf'e Hotel Man Turned His Court Ex-
rerience to Account.
A Missouri judge travelling on cir
iuit, once had before him in Il small
country town II case in which tavern
keeper was held for the payment of a
large amount of money which lie had
not agreed definitely to pay. The court
%eclarcd that. although his agreement
was not on record. it was Involved by
construction or implied in his partici-
patton in Il business proceeding con-
nected with it.
After Judgment had been rendered
the court adjourned for dinner, and
the judge found that the only eating
house in the place WAS the inn kept by
the defendant in the case he had Just
decided. He also found that the de-
fendant personally superintendent the
prep.,ra ton of the meals and that the
food WAS charged for on the European
plan
The judge called for two boiled eggs,
which, with the other food he ordered,
We're brought to him done to IL turn.
He ate them. and at the end of the
meal the bill was presented to him.
He was astonished to read on it the
following items: Two boiled eggs, Is
cents; two chickens at 10 cents, $1.5O.
Calling the proprietor. he asked:
Flows this? I've had no chickens.
Why do you charge me for tlem?"
"ThoSe are constructive chickens.
your honor" answered the innkeeper
"What?"
why. they are implied In the eggs,
Won know" tile man persisted.
His honor began to understand and
said no nore.--New York Times.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
Arbiter and Arbitrary.

If an arbitrator is chosen to end a
dispute, says the London Chronicle,
there is no reason to dread that his de.
cision would be arbitrary, though the
two words are very near relatives. An
arbiter, the Latin word which used
to be more common as English than
1t Is now, meant by derivation simply
zone who went to" something to eX.
anime it, and so at first spectator or
witness. Then in Roman law it assum.
ed the technical sense of an umpire.
But a "judicum," the legal decision in
a case with regard to definite sum
Of money, for instance, was distin.
guished from an arbitrium, legal
decision as to an uncertain sum which
had to be determined; hence arbitrary
acquired the sense Of uncertain, ca.
PRECIOUS.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
ABsENTMINDED.
A Story of Bunsen, the Great Germa
Scien}iet

A Story of sunsen, the Great German
Scientist.
In the autobiography of Sir Henry
Roscoe there is capital example, of
the observation-disclosures of Bunsen, the
great German scientist.
He had had his evening clothes put
out that he might attend card party
to which he had been invited, but for
got all about it until the next morning,
when his man pointed out that the
evening clothes had not been worn.
And then he remarked to himself, 81
know what I'll do" That evening he
put on his dress clothes, went to the
lady's house at the appointed time and
walked in as If it were the day upon
which he had been invited The host
ess, much too polite to tell him that he
had mistaken the evening and that the
party had taken place on the previous
night, sent to her friends asking them
to come in to play rubber again.
They did so. In the course of the even
ing the conversation turned on absent
mindedness. and Bunsen began to tell
them what had happened to him n
long time ago-how that lie had for
gotten an invitation and how he had
made up his mind to go the next night
and thus he told the party the whole
story, forgetting altogether that he was
giving them an account of what was
happening at the very moment.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
CUPID AT THE BAR.
Why the Loving Maiden Posed as

Why the Loving Maiden Posed as a
Grand Jury.
IF Won wera a-a jury Clara" said
the embarrassed Young lawyer hest
talingly, ~ could plead my cause with
more self possession. But in Cupi.l's
courts don't think can claim to be
n first class advocate"
perhaps You have not had an ex-
tensiye practice, William" suggested
tile maiden softly.
That's 1t exactly. Clara" eagerly
rejoined the young man, moving his
chair n little nearer. I'm new hand
at this business. But IL felt sure the
jury
Meaning meg"
"Yes-wasn't prejudiced against the
counsel"
what kind of jury are you consider
ing Inc. W'illiam:' she asked, with
downcast eyes.
- common jury. of course. You
couldn't be a grand jury, you know"
why not:'
because don't plead before grand
iuries.''
q think. William" said the bIushing
maiden. Il would rather. for this occa-
sion. be considered a grand jury, If
you don't mind"
why. dear?"
"Recause'- And she hid her face
somewhere in the vicinity of his coat
collal-"lecause have found true
Bill!"-London Answers.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
erouoht to Terms.


In the Drayton household it is said
that the father of the family has n
way of presenting alternatives to his
children that never fails to bring them
into line.
81 wish you would speak to Bobby"
said Mrs. Drayton one night. 1--WE
told him to take his medicine and then
jump into bed, and he won't do it. He
just hops around and says he doesn't
want to take the medicine and he
doesn't want to go to bed"
Mr.. Drayton stepped to the door of
Bobby's room and stood there, tall,
grave and impressive.
Bobby" he said firmly, "if you don't
take your medicine at once and then
jump into bed you will be put to bed,
do you hear me, put to bed, without
having your medicine at ALL"
Upon which Bobby, alarmed and con-
fused, swallowed his allotted portion
and meekly retired for the night
Youths Companion.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
Needed a cloudhurst.

Staying at an inn in Scotland, a
shooting party found their sport much
interfered with by rain. Still, wet or
fine, the old fashioned barometer that
hung in the hall persistently pointed
to '.set fair" At length one of the
party drew the landlords attention to
the glass, saying, Don't you think,
now, Dugald, there's something the
matter with your glass?" mo, SIR"
replied Dugald, with dignity, "she's a
guide glass and powerful glass, but
she's no. moved wi trifles."
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
Tho Moslera Faith.

Myths Of the most bewildering kind
spring up and flourish and often bear n
ripe harvest in the minds of ignorant
Mohammedan populations during times
Of crisis. A saint or two can work
wonders among them at the psy-
Geological moment, and saints of the
most truculcnt type are as common
in Morocco as blackberries are in Eng
land. These people have no ideas of
evidence or of probability. Though
they lie freely themselves. their ere
dulity in the word of holy man is
boundless.-Lo London Times.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
The Alternative.

At a fancy dress ball for children a
policeman was stationed at the door
and was instructed by the committee
not to admit any adults. Shortly aft.
er the beginning of the ball woman
came running up to the door and dc.
manded admission.
"I'm sorry, num-" replied the pc.
liceman, "but can't let any one in
but children"
But my child is dressed as a.but-
terfly," exclaimed the woman, "and
she has forgotten her wings"
mo matter" replied the policeman;
"orders is orders, so you'll have to let
her go as CATERPILLAR An
cyvorc
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
POLISHING Glassware.

You have heard of many valuable
ways to clean glassware and give to
the pieces desirable brilliancy, yet
here is method which is secret
and certain to give the best results.
Wash the glass pieces and drain until
dry, then coat each piece with a mix
ture of half water and ammonia. When
dry brush the pieces with soft bris.
tie brush. Be sure and use only the
bristle brush or the polish will not ap-
pear. This is excellent for glassware
of any kind and makes old pieces look
like new.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
"Scourinu the Land"

have just been examining an old
book containing the accounts of the
charity estate of West Haddon, en-
bracing the years 1773-1s5O. Under
date Aug. II, 177G, is the following
entry:
"Paid Richard Worster seven days
work, cutting thorns and scowering
and stopping Of gaps, los. Cd"
The term securing the ditch" is
used on Jan. 8, 1871, and appears
many times after this date, the last in
stance being on April %, 1S20.-Lon-
don Notes and Queries
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
A Point of View.

The new steamer City of - was
laid up for repairs, and one of the
rickety old timers of the'line was sail
ing in her place. A passenger who was
somewhat irritated by the fact re-
marked to another. an Irishman, by
the way, 1.-THE City of - always gets
in at 2 in the morning. and this old
tub never gets in before g.
The Irishman thought for moment
and replied: Its all right. The dis
lance is just the same, and we get a
longer sail for our money."-New York
Press.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08

A learned correspondent writes: 81
was examining witness, an elderly
woman, the other day. On my inquir-
ing her name she said it was Mrs.
Bardell and that she came from
Gravesend. asked, Did you know
Charles Dickens" She replied, DO
you mean the undertaker? Such is
ame."-London News.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
Depends.

"The man who stands on the verge
of old age and has nothing saved with
which to guard against the future has
truly lived Il wasted life. Don't you
agree with me?"
''That depends. Are you advancing
this as n moral proposition or are you
selling some sort of newfangled insur-
ance Y-Pittsburg Post.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
Costly Monotony In Dress.

Our clothes are all alike, and this
monotony has led to unlimited ex.
travagances. What has not been done
to make the eternal pinafore frock
look original? New Celebrations are
invented daily. each one more expen-
sive than the last, but nobody is de-
ceived. 1t is still the old pinafore, on.
~ a little madden, little dearer, ev-
cry day:-Lendon Graphic.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
1nnn,,e Tied ralk.rs

How many educated people there are
who have no more than PEASANTS
vocabulary. They do not use the
words that peasant uses, but they
do not improve upon them. They still
go on saying, "How amusingw How
lovely!' "How nicew to the end of the
chapter. Nobody ->can be interesting
who is always working limited vo.
cabulary.-British Weekly.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
Special Announcement Regarding the
National Pure Food and Drug Law

We are pleased to announce that
Foley's Honey and Tar for coughs
colds and lung troubles is not affect.
eli by the National Pure Food and
Drug law as it contains no opiates
or other harmful drugs, and we rec
commend it as a safe remedy fo1
children and adults. Anders &
Philip.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08

Doyou have backache or ''stitch"
in the side occasionally, and some
times do you feel all tired out, with
out ambition and without energy? If
so, your kidneys are out of order.
Take DeWitts Kidney and Bladder
pills. They promptly relieve back
ache, weak back inflammation of the
bladder and weak kidneys. Sold by
all Druggists.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-01-08
Liahts Out!

An irasclble sergeant, going his
nightly round of the barracks in order
to make sure that all lights had been
extinguished, noticed that a window
was Illuminated. He reused the occu-
pants of the room. "Put out that
light" he ordered, "and be quick about
itw
"But it's moonlight" explained u pri-
vate.
~ don't care what it is" roared
the sergeant; put it out!-London
Graphic.