davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
FIXED: THE PIANO.
An Unmusical Variation In One Of
Gottschalk's Concerts.

An Unmusicai Variation In One Of
GottschaIk's Concerts.
Gottschalk, the pianist, was noted
for his enormous physical strength al.
most as much as FOR his brilliance as a
pianist. On one occasion he gave a
practical Illustration of his strength
which. while it did not display his dis.
position In the most amiable light, un-
doubleday afforded him much satisfac.
ton.
He was in concert playing on piano
that was built on new model, one of
the peculiarities of which was that the
lip Of the keyboard cover projected far.
Their over the keys than in most pianos
when the instrument was open for
playing. Gottschalk, who was accus.
toned to throw up his hand to a con.
siderable height during the perform.
ance of brilliant passages and was un-
used to this new form of keyboard,
constantly hit his knuckles against the
projecting lip.
This repeated rapping of his knuckles
at last began to have an Irritating eff.
feet on him, as the audience could
plainly see. Suddenly after a partic.
nlarly hard rap he stopped short in the
middle of his selection, wrenched the
offending cover out of the instrument
by main force and hurled it across the
platform with great violence. Then
with smile of the greatest satisfac
ton, he reseated himself at the piano
and continued his playing. = Chicago
Record Herald.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
fIREMEN PREPARE
FOR TOURNAMENT
LOCAL BOYS EXPECT TO MAKE
BIG SHOWING AT STATE TOUR
NEY TO BE HELD AT MANDAN
JUNE 9 AND 10. @

At meeting of Pioneer Hose COM
pany No. 1, held at the hose house
Monday night, it was decided to re-
cruit up good local hose race team
to participate in the coming state
firemen's tournament to be held at
Mandan, June 9, 10 and IL. The COM
pany has arranged to send away for
suitable uniforms and other parapher.
MALTA in order that they may not be
in any way handicapped in this con-
test. Great enthusiasm prevails
among the boys, and. judging from
some Of their past performances, they
will not be likely to return without at
least some of the laurels of victory
The team will be managed by William
Couch.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
At the Bijou Theater.

Sirronje again mystified very
large audience last night. The chief
of police and other officers fastened
the young lady in the insane re.
strains from the county jail in such a
manner 1t seemed certainly impossible
for any one to free themselves with
out aid. Locked and sealed in a
strong Taylor trunk, Sirronje kept her
audience in suspense for Is minutes,
and when the curtain was finally
drawn the young woman was seen
seated. very much bedragged, on top
of the trunk Tonight another spe-
cial test is promised, when an en-
ploye of Webb Bros. dry goods store
will nail and fasten her in a strong
packing case. The press throughout
the country has spoken in terms of
wonderment at this particular test.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
GREAT CHANGE
MERCHANTS OF BISMARCK WILL
GIVE GOOD MONEY TO COUPLE
GETTING MARRIED ON MARKET
DAY.

The next Market day will be held
Saturday, June 6, and among the
other features of the day it is planned
to have public wedding ceremony
Any couple desiring to be married in
June can leave their names with F. E.
Young, secretary of the Bismarck
Commercial club. The club will fur
nish the license and the minister to
perform the ceremony and between
$50 and 500 will be given away to
the lucky couple by the various mer-
chants of Bismarck. The, amounts
given will be announced later, as well
as the names of the donors. If the
couple to be married wish it their
names will be kept secret until the
hour of the ceremony. Here is a good
chance for some young couple to get
their wedding outfit free.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
But Vet a Man.

II suppose I have about the most
thoughtful, kind and considerate hus.
band in the world" she was saying
sadly When he comes home at abou.
2 of the morning, turns all the lights
on and wakes me out of a sound sleep.
he always says in the most polite way
Imaginable:
Don't let me disturb you, dear.
But will you please help me unfas-
ten this collar button ?"-New York
Press.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
Tn. Sheep In the Grass.

Lord Palmerston once Inspected
Summer In the Lowlands," a picture
by Sir John Watson Gordon. look
here" said Lord Palmerston to the
artist, "why should the grass in that
field be so long when there are so
many sheep in the field?"
"My lord" replied the artist, those
sheep were only turned into the field
last night!'
Lord Palmerston bought the picture
at high price
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
Where PoIiteness Doesn't Pay.

French and German hats" said a
halter, s'only last half as long as ours
It isn't the poor quality of the hats,
but the fine quality Of the manners,
that causes this. Lifting the hat in sal
utation is the hardest work that falls
on the headpiece, and the French and
Germans lift 1t to men and women
equally, thus giving it twice as much
labor as we do. Naturally, then, it
wears out twice as quickly. 1t goes in
the brim in no time over the water."-
Cincinnati Enquirer.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
Telephone Orders sent c. 0. D
The Golden Rule
GROCERIES and NOTIONS

Hams and Bacon are little high
er; price now, hams, per lib. .15c
We will cut the hams in two once
il you wish.
Bacon, per b.. ........ 17c
These are the best that are put out.
Fancy Full Cream Cheese, this
years make, per h.. 16c
Whole Cheese, per lb. 15c
Young America, weighs about s
pounds. per lib. 49,. ......... 16c
Monogram Corn, fanciest put up, 2
Monogram Red Pitted Cherries,
Blackberries, Strawberries, Red
Raspberries, your choice for. soc
AS fine as any housewife can pos
sibly put up.
Monogram Sliced or Grated Pine
apple, per can ................ Csc
Monogram Tomatoes, 2 cans for. .35c
Monogram Extra Sifted Early June
peas, usually sold for Csc. ..... zoe
Two cans for ........ ...... .35c
Monogram Early June Peas, per
7 bars Santa Claus Soap for. .....25c
4 bars Fancy Navy Beans for .....25c
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
Peculiar to Itself.

81 suppose there is certain fascina-
ton that keeps you in the racing
game?"
YES" admitted the bookmaker.
there is. I've tried hardware, cloth
ing, groceries and shoes, but I've never
struck another line where people sim
ply struggle to hand you their coin."-
Kansas City Journal.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
Never Worked Before.

Mrs. Jones-Your husband looks COM
pletely tired out, poor man! Mrs.
smith-So he is, my dear. He has
never done any work in his life before.
You know he always had government
job.-Funny Cuts,
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
Cruel.

Miss Oldun-Oh, dear, I'm afraid 1
shall have to get some of that wrinkle
eradicator they advertise. Miss Pert
ly-Let me get it for you. l have a
brother in the wholesale drug business.
Boston Transcript.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
Different Now.

"It's funny how marriage will change
man. said Flogg the other day.
There's Monster, for example. Be-
fore he was married glance Of May
Taintor would intoxicate him, so he
used to say. Now when he comes
home late at night and meets Mrs.
Monster, nee Taintor, the sight of her
actually sobers him" - Boston Tran
script.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13

You might as well expect one wave
of the sea to be precisely the same as
the next wave of the sea as to expect
that there would be no change of cir
cumstances
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
A PHILOSOPHER.

"Pa, what is a philosophers"
"a philosopher, Tommy, Is man
who doesn't worry any about financial
stringencies, because he never has any
money."-Somerville Journal.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13

The ball to be given by Edelweiss
Lodge No. I, Sisters of Hermann, next
Wednesday, evening, has been post
poned to Wednesday, May ~, 1908.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
A Popular Book.

She What would be the most appro-
PIRATE book to give bridef He-A
sank book,--I illustrated Bits.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-13
OFF FOR THE
CONVENTION

FROM THE MIS-.
SOURI, SLOPE LEAVE FOR MI
NOT ON SPECIAL TRAIN TUES.
DAY MORNING, ACCOMPANIED
BY THE COMMERCIAL CLUB
BAND.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03
He Relisvsd the Boy.

A Judge was explaining to a young
student friend the intricacles Of evil
dence. He illustrated we'll the case OF
conflicting evidence-how when the
statements Of two witnesses are op-
posed the more probable statement Is
to be accepted.
Usually In conflicting evidence he
said, zone statement is far more proba-
BILE than the other so that we can de-
eide easily which to believe. II Is Ike
the boy and the house hunter. A house
hunter getting OF a train at sub
urban station, said to boy:
"My boy. l am looking for Mr..
Smithson's new block OF semldetached
cottages. How far are they from here.
"About a twenty minutes walk the
boy replied.
Twenty minutes" exclaimed the
house hunter. Nonsense. The adyer-
tlsement says five
"Well, said the boy. you can be
lieve me or you can believe the adver-
tlsement, but l amt tryin' to make no
sale. '"-Cincinnati Enquirer.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03
A Bio Grasshopper.

A geographical expedition which set
out for Australia OIL an exploring ana
mapmaking tour had engaged a negro
cook. who took great interest In every
thing he saw While the party was en-
route kangaroo broke out of the grass
and made for the horizon with pro-
digious leaps. an event that Interested
the colOred gentleman exceedingly.
"You all have pretty wide meadows
hereabouts, | reckon" he said to the
native who was guiding the party.
Not any larger than those Of other
countries" returned the guide most po-
liteIy.
well, there must be mighty power
ful high grass roundabouts, hehY' he
insisted.
Not that l know Of" replied the
guide. why do You ask such odd
questions
"Why, III tell you, boss. was think
in Of the mighty uncommon magnitude
of them grasshoppers. kansas City
Independent.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03
AlnlzxDrsG&szesaE
TUESDAY, EVENING. MAR. 3. 1908.
Found the Set.


This story is told by man who dis
likes nothing so much as to be asked
questions:
"My little girl is very fond Of sea
Shells" he said, "and, having been
called to Atlantic City on business one
day. | took advantage Of the oppor-
tunity to run down to the beach TO see
II could pick up few. | was stroll
ing along the sand, gathering a few
shells and pebbles, which | placed in
my handkerchief, when along came one
OF those old idiots who ask questions
with their mouths which their eyes
could answer. He smiled upon me and
said Fine day. isn't IT. Are you
gathering shelIsT
Ono | snapped back. saying the
first thing that popped into my mind;
I'm looking for set Of false teeth !
lost while In bathing
"He expressed his sympathy, and
then his face lit up as his eye caught
sight Of a pink and white object on
the sand. We'll, .declare Here they
are now" he exclaimed. and, sure
enough. he picked up set OF false
teeth lying right at his feet. | was too
surprised to do anything but grab them
and put them in my pocket The fun
nv part Of 1t Is that never had tooth
pulled in my life. wonder whom that
false set belongs to."-Philadelphia
Record
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03
Only an Office Boy.

"Tf you want a ready-to-hand study
10 the downright cussedneSs Of human
nature unwarped." said an insurance
agent. "just watch the office boys III
your own or any other place Of busi-
ness. In four cases out of five the
thing will come ont this way:
a new boy Is engaged. lie Is meek
and mild. apologize Of bearing and
courteous Of speech. lie Is apparently
seeking an excuse for daring 10 make
a living. He looks reprOachfully mt
the head office boy who orders him
around In rough catch-as-catch-can
style. Such rndeness pains him.
Note this boy little later. His
rude superior has resigned or been dis
missed. and he is now head office boy.
Is he meek and mild. apologize and
reprOachful? Say, he's worse young
ruffian than his predecessor-bu llyrags
the newcomer, ignores the cuspidor,
uses language not fit to print and
comes dangerously near 'sassing' his
employer He knows 1t all, and lit
tie more.
There are exceptions. but they prove
the rule."-New York Globe.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03
An Artists Ruse.

A Roman cavalier commissioned a
great artist to paint his portrait, no
definite price being agreed upon. When
the portrait was finished, the painter
asked 100 crowns In payment The
hlghborn sitter, amazed az the demand,
returned no more nor dared to send for
his counterfeit presentnent, whereup-
on the artist hit upon the happy expe-
dent Of first painting bars across the
portrait. then affixlng the doleful leg
end. Imprisoned for debt" and finally
placing it in prominent part OF his
studio. to which Roman mobiles fire.
quently resorted. Ere long a rich rela-
tive came to the rescue and released
his kinsman.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03
DHstructhLe Music.

A member OF the board Of directors
Of the Metropolitan Opera House tells
story that he had from one Of the
musicians attached to the Orchestr'
there. 1t appears that friend of the
wife Of the musician had during a call
on the latter inquired as TO the hus-
bands taste In musical matters. Among
other things she wanted to know what
operas the musician liked best TO play.
II don't know much about dot" said
the better half, who was at the time
busily engaged in darning an old shirt
but do know something's. Noteffer
he likes like not dos Wagner operas
Dey sounds veil enough. but dose
clothes achl He neffer yet comes home
from dot Wagner opera dot he haf not
torn a place In his poor old shirts. |
brefer the Italian operas"
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03

Water arIL Life.


or all the conditions preparatory 10
hfe the presence ~ water. composed OF
oxygen ana hydrogen. is at once the
most essential aud the most worldwide'
for If water he present the presence OF
other necessary elements is probably
assured II water exisS that fact goes
bail for the necessary temperature. the
gamut Of life being coextenslve WIN
the existence Of water as such. IL i
So consequentally, life being impossl-
bic without water. Whatever the plan
ct. this is of necessity true. But the
absolute degrees Of temperature WIN
In which life can exist vary according
TO the mass OF the body. another OF the
WAYS i'm which mere size tells. On the
earth 212 degrees f. limits the range
at the top and % degrees f. at the bot
tom in the case OF fresh water. - de-
grees +. in the case Of salt. On
smaller planet both limits would be
lowered, the top one the most On
Mars the boiling point would probably
Ike about 40 degrees i. Secondly
from the general initial oneness OF their
constituents a planet that still pos
sesses water will probably retain the
other substances that are essential 10
Iife-gases, for the reason that water
vapor is next TO hydrogen and hellum
the lightest Of them all, and solids be-
cause their weight would still more
conduce 10 keep them there Water.
indeed. acts as solution to the whole
problem.-Profcsso Lowell's THE Ey-
oution Of Life" I'm Century Magazine.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03
A Dish of Tea.

In reference to a note about a dish
Of tea" it may be mentioned that
dish" throughout the eighteenth cen
tury was colloqulslism for cup. IN
fashionable houses at first, and f"r
long. tea was drunk from cup with
out handle brought from China. The
vessel WAS termed dish. NR"n the
Chinese cup was first copied -, Eng
llsh potters, the convenience of a han
die was added. The saucer also was
brought from China. 1t received the
name because OF It's resemblance Ia
the English saucer, platter In which
sauce was served. The familiar gibe.
saucer eyes" was originally inspired
By the sauce saucer long before Lord
Arlington gave the first tea party in
England in Arlington House, where
Buckingham palace stands. at the Res
toration period.-London Chronicle.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03
Thu Other Reason.

A teamster retires at the age of
ninety with an accumulation Of 500
coo. He says he wants and is entitled
10 rest. Some lnquirers want to
know how he could have saved so
much on SD week. the highest wages
he ever received. The answer is easy.
He got 81 day. He lived on % cents
a day. He saved the difference. lived
I'm New York on . cents a day for
nearly six months and was In magnih'
cent health. Some people eat to live;
others live to eat AS the old chap on
the ferryboat said to the small boy:
sonny, why does pig eat?'
"Cause he's hungry"
"No. There's another reason"
"Whut's daty'
"He wants to make hog OF him.
self."-New York Press.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03
OPENING AND CLOSING OF MAILS

Northern mails, week days, close at 10 a.
M. and 8 45, IL 30 q. M, and zoo, 2 80, 50
s Is and 10 80 p. u. Open at 400 g.. M,
IL 90 m, and 90 p. m. On SundaysN orthern
mails close at s 40 a. M, 3 80, and ~
p. m. -,
Southern mails via Charlottesville close 81
s 45 a. m and 10 80 8. M, and 20 p. m:
30 and 10 80 p. m. Open at 800 a. m. and
90 p. m.
Southern mails, via Richmond, close al
10 80 q. M, and $50. 10 and 10 80
., m. Open at s a. M, II m and p. m.
Manassas Division mails close at III a. N
and 800 D. m. Open at II 80 and 80 p, m.
Alexandria and Round Hill mails close Of
80 a. M, and 90 D. nc. Open at coca. m.
and 2 80 p. m.
Chesapeake and Ohio mails close at 8 20 p.
N. A2d 10 80 p. NJ. Open at 800 a. NJ. and
COOP. m.
Washington mails close st 10. a. al. 8 40
and IL 80 q. NJ, and CO. 80.
8 Is and III 80 p. M. Open at SO a. M,
1890 m. and 10 .. 10. and 4 80 p. m.
Office Hours-Open at SO a. m. Close al
600p. m.
Sunday Hours-Open at sOOa. m. Clos
ct 10 90 q. m.
Carriers Schedule Collection made on In:
side routes-6 80 and 10 90 q. IN. and 8 % and
3 SO p. m, Fl u route-6 80 a. m. and ~ p:
N. Sundsy o.llection 500 p. m. Carriers
window open Sunday 900 q. m. and close
10 90 a. a.
Deliveries made sOOA. m. 30 p. m. and
AIS 0. N.
All mail should be in the Office ten minutes
before oar indicated time for cl0dnR-
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03

For a feat of dexterity and nerve #
would be difficult TO surpass that OF
the Bosjesman OF South Africa, who
walks quietly up to pun adder and
deliberately sets his bare foot on Its
neck. In its struggles to escape and
attempts to bite It's assailant the poi
son gland secretes a large amount Of
the venom. This is just what the
Bosjesman wants. Killing the snake,
he eats the body and uses the poison
for his, arrows.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-03-03
LEGAL NOTICES.

NIRGINIA-In the Clerk Office Of the
Corporation Court Of the city of Ale1sn.
dria, on the oath day Of February, 1908.
John McWilliams, executor of James Nc
Williams, deceased VS.. Annie Webster,
Florence Milburn, Celia Milbum, David
Milburn, Annie Simpson, Henry Stead.
man. Maggie II Cook, Carrie Sprig, Jen-
ME Myers, William Myers, Mamie Robey
and x. II. Cox, sergeant, administrator d.
b.n.c. ia Of Martha +. McWilliams, de-
ceased. In chancery.
Memo. The object of this suit is TO sell
house and lot No. 227 north Pitt street South
east corner of Pitt and Queen Streets, Alex
andria, directed to be sold by the will Of the
late Martha i. McWilliams and spply pro-
ceeds Of SO lie according to the terms and pur,
poses expressed in said will and TO refund the
amount OF money advanced by her * GU
tor to such purposes in administration Of her
estate.
IL appearing by an affidavit filed in this
cause thst the defendants, Florence Mil.
burn, David Milburn, Annie Simpson,
Carrie Sprig, Jennie Myers William Myers
and Mamie Robey, are non residents Of
this Stlte: II is Ordered, That said
defendants appear here within fifteen days
after due publication Of this order, and do
what is necessary TO protect their interests in
this suit, and that a copy Of this order be
forthwith inserted in the Alexandria Gazette,
newspaper published in the city Of Alexan-
dris, once week for four successive weeks,
and posted at the front door Of the Court
House Of this city.
NEWELL s. GREENAWAY, Clerk.
John NJ, johnson, D. q. feb26w4w tn
VIKGiNIA.-In the Clerks Office Of the
Corporation Court Of the City Of Alex.
andria on the 24th day of February, 1908.
Robert Cheeks Tn
vs.. SChanoerv
Mary Catherine Butler Cheeks, "nSn'e'''
Memo. The object Of this suit is to obtain
an absolute divorce from the bonds Of matri-
moDy for the complainant from the defend
ant, and to obtain such further relief as to
equity may seem right.
II appearing by an affidavit filed in this
cause that the defendant, Mary Catherine But
Ter Ches k, is non. resident ofthis State 1t is
Ordered that said defendant appear here with
in fifteen days after due publication Of this
order, and do what is necessary TO protect
her interest in this suit, and that q copy OF
this order be forth with inserted in The Alex
andria Gazette, newspaper published in the
city Of Alexandria, once a week for four sue
cessiye weeks, and posted at the front door OF
the Court House ofthis city.
A cOpy-TESTE.
NEWELL 8. GREENAWAY, Clerk.
Robinson MOncure. q. q. feb25 w4w- tn
NO1ICE-Having qualified as administra-
tor Of the esthte Of EDWIN N REED,
deceased, all persons having claims against
the said estate are hereby notified TO
present III same to me, duly verified, for set
Element, and all persons indebted to said es-
tate are hereby notified to make prompt pay.
ment Of their Indebtedness to me.
B. WHEATLEY,
feb26 lot Administrator.