davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-02
The Comedians Wit.

On a first night at the B. theater,
a well known comedian once displayed
remarkable presence Of mind, He was
alone on the stage and was supposed
to be expecting anxiously the arrival
of a friend.
HE comesw he exclaimed, looking
of on the left. "Joy! | had been
awaiting him 80 impatiently."
AT this cue his friend entered--on the
right! Some one had blundered- but
who? There was no time for hesita-
ton, and the veteran players ready
wit came to his aid.
"Sly dogF he said loosely to the
newly arrived. "You thought to take
me by surprise, but saw you in the
looking glass yonderg
This brought down the house. though
the audience had been on the point Of
kissing the very palpable blunder the
friend had made London 1itsBits.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-02
Enllx EnuaI.

Aunt Mandy is an old colored woman
who for years has done washing for
several East Orange families. She has
had several matrimonial experiences,
and when her last husband died one
of her customers attempted to condols
with her.
81 was very sorry to hear Of your
husbands death. Aunt Mandy" she
said.
'Ya'as, ma'am." said Aunt Mandy.
"He was a pow'ful good man."
"What did he die of"
"Ah really don't know, ma'am."
"You don't know! Graciousl Couldn't
the doctor tell you?"
"Ah didn't have no doctah, ma'am,"
said Aunt Mandy. He jes done died
a natch'ral DEATH"
1t wasn't long, however, before Aunt
Mandy had another husband.
II hear you are married again." re-
marked her patron one day.
"Ya'as, ma'am," giggled Aunt
Mandy. "Ah was done married las
Sunday"
"And is your new husband equal to
the last?''
"Ya'as, indeedy, ma'am." said Aunt
Mandy. He's jes as equal II not
eQualer. New York Times.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-02
Anglers Bitter Memories.

Although angling has been and still
Is one of the chief delights of my life,
something bitter always arises when !
think of my fishing experiences.
Taught from my earliest years to han
die a rod and throw fly, 1t has never
theless never been my good fortune to
grass really big fish. On the other
hand, some Of the greatest buffers, so
far as angling goes, have ever known
have wiped my eye'' time and again
at salmon fishing. Only year or two
since l had friend staying with me
at Dupplin castle, who, to the best Of
my belief, had never before handled
a salmon rod or any kind of rod In his
life But almost at the first cast--if
one could dignity the action by such a
name-he rose, hooked and eventually
grassed a forty FOUNDER. Another
friend, also a most Indifferent fisher
man, killed single handed a splendid
fish that went all but fifty pounds.
But |, who have given years to the
game, have never seen my spring bal
ance tally more than thirty-one pounds.
Earl of Klnnvull in NJ. A. P.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-02

perfect condition. In many portions
the macadam Is said to be nine feet
thick. Long sections Of the road are
oiled, and on no part Of II was there
any appreciable amount Of dust. There
are few sharp curves, and tile grades
are so slight that it has become
great thoroughfare for speeders, with
the result that there are many police
traps for which one has to watch. We
found that we could stop In almost any
little village and get information as to
just where the traps were located
for instance, they told US at Bigles-
wade, which is better looking place
than its name, to look out for traps
just the other side OF Buckden and
again In approaching Weston. Frank
Presbrey in Outing Magazine.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-02
Winninr the Set.

A London merchant who had Q
rather rudy complexion, after doing
Glasgow, had some time to wait fol
his train at st. Enoch station and be
thought himself Of little joke.
"What Is the name Of this station
my good fellowY' he asked Of porter
"St. Enoch station, sir"
A few minutes later he met the same
porter and said:
"What did you call this station, por-
terT
"St. Enoch'sl Dae We no see the
name abune the hotel thereP'
Just then the train came in, and our
English friend got comfortably seated
in third class smoker along with a
few more passengers.
"These railway officials are about
the worst. They can't be civil" re.
marked the Londoner.
"That's a confounded lee" said a
Scotch farmer.
"Well," said the Londoner, 'T'll bet
Ave bob don't get a civil answer from
the first porter ! ask question Of"
"Done!' replied the old farmer
Looking out, he spied his porter and,
beckoning him over, asked in his most
polite tone;
would you kindly tell me the name
Of this station, porterT'
"Gang AVA We bacon faced bufferl
Pit yer daft held inl" was the answer.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-02
Division Of Labor.

what do you want here?" asked the
warden of the penitentiary.
II should like to spend a few days
in this institution" said the caller.
"What for?"
Il wish to see how the inmates live"
"What is your object In that2 Are
you writing a bookT
'Not at ALL" &%l
Detective story" 9s8
Nothing of the sort" sr3
"Story for the Sunday papersq"
"No, sir"
The warden reflected.
Il suppose" he said, "you are what
they call sociologist."
mo. sir" said the caller. ''But my
brother is All I do is to study the
conditions. He formulates the theO-
ries."-Chicago Tribune.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-02
AN ANCIENT HIGHWAY.
Ensland's Great North Road Is Two
Thousand Years Old.


Before we reached Hatfield, a few
miles out Of London, we had already
been impressed with the magniticence
of this Great North road. which is
said to have been built by Mr.. Cae-
sar, whose headquarters were in Rome
at the time 1t is the direct route
from London to Edinburgh and has
been travelled for so many centuries
that the earliest histories of England
contain accounts of the movement Of
troops upon It. It Is great thorough
fare for vehicles of all sorts. motor
lists and cyclists, and In these modern
days there are well worn footpaths
along either side for pedestrians. We
passed scores Of motors, and | was
told while in England that the popu-
larity Of motoring had noticeably d..
minished the number of first class
travellers by rail. We found the road
for its entire length Of 400 miles III
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-02

No man prospers In this world BY
luck unless 1t be the luck Of getting up
early, working hard and maintaining
honor and integrity. Bescher.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-02

Practice Throwing, Says Killing.
Catcher Johnny King Of the Chicago
Nationals makes a good point. He
wonders why outfelders In tbs pre-
limlnary work don't practice throwing
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-02

Against Gods wrath no castle d
thunder proof. Spanish Proverb.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-02

Those who know the road hst some
times lose their way.
The San Francisco call., 1908-12-11
LIMITED TRAIN ROLLS
WITHOUT A DEATH
Remarkable Accident Occurs in
North Dakota With Train
Running at High Speed

BISMARCK, n. D., Dec. 10.-The
wreck of the westbound north coast
limited at Mackenzie, 20 miles east of
here last night may be considered one
Of the most fortunate in the annals of
railroading according to railroadmen.
The fact that almost an entire train,
going at the rate of 90 miles an hour,
containing more than 200 passengers.
could turn over and go down 10 foot
embankment without killing anybody
is marvellous.
The train struck broken rail. The
engine got over safely. but the tender
went off the track. followed by the
baggage car and mail car. Their coup
ling broke and the three day coaches
two sleepers and the observation car
went down an embankment into a deep
snow drift and turned over without
breaking a coupling. The hard packed
snow saved the train from destruction.
Eight babies on the train We're not
even scratched. The most seriously in
jured are: Engineer Aaron Remley
Colgate, n. D., ribs broken; William
Pazen, Oshkosh, Wis, injured inter-
nally; Mrs. H. w. Cullyfore. Seattle,
back injured by being pinned by a
closed berth
Besides these. many were cut by
broken glass and bruised.
A Seattle preacher was thrown out
of his berth in his nightshirt into the
berth of three women, badly bruising
them.
The San Francisco call., 1908-12-11
JAPANESE EX-CONVICT
WOULD BLOW UP PRISON
Confessed That Explosives
Were to Be Used in
Jail Break

SALEM. Ore. Dec. 10.-Gyas shita. a
Japanese released from the state peni-
tentiary here last Wednesday. was ar
rested this afternoon while in posses
sion of a large amount of nitro glyc-
erin and dynamite. The Japanese made
two confessions In his first one he
declared he intended TO give the ex-
pIosive to prison trusty for use in
blowing up the penitentiary buildings
and effecting an outbreak
In his confession he named the ring
leaders of the alleged plot. Later he
repudfated the first confession and de-
clared that the purpose was to dyna-
mite the Bank OF Woodburn at Wood
burn Ore
The San Francisco call., 1908-12-11
TAFT PUTS CANNON
ON ANXIOUS SEAT
Speaker Wants President Elect
to Keep Hands Off," but
Gets No Assurances
New Head of Republican Party
in Control of Situation
in Washington
Especial Dispatch to The Call

WASHINGTON, Dec 10.-Speaker
Cannon has been unable to get from
William H. Taft any assurance either
that the president elect will support
him for election or that he will not
oppose him. The speaker expected to
attend the meeting of the republican
members OF the ways and means COM
mittee this afternoon, but the meeting
was held by invitation at the home of
Representative Longworth, and Can
non was not invited. When asked
about Cannon, the president elect said
he had not gone into the question of
the house organization yet.
The truth is that the chances are
even tonight that Cannon will not be
reelected speaker. Cannon himself Is
perfectly cognizant of this fact. Taft
has been encouraged since his arrival
here in the belief that he has Cannon
beaten il he wishes to make the fight.
The point that Cannon and his friends
have tried to gain has not been an
Endorsement by Taft, kowing that to
be impossible, but they have tried to
get him to keep his hands off. The presi-
dent elect has refused to commit him
self either way. 1t is known that the
influence of Roosevelt with the next
president viii be against Cannon, but
Taft has not indicated even to the
president what he will do.
Concretely, the president elect has
found since his arrival here that he
controls the situation, and he is de-
termined to put through what he be-
lieves TO be the platform pledges of the
republican party. ignoring Cannon and
all the old time leaders, even Payne and
Dalzell.
Taft takes this attitude as head of
the republican party, and is willing to
stand for the criticism that may come
10 him regarding debating to the legis
lative branch by the executive.
The San Francisco call., 1908-12-11
CANNON OPPOSES
WAT[RWAYSBONDS
Speaker Declares Nobody Wants
Congress to Vote Twenty
Billions for improvements
Objection to Proposed Method of
Financing Federal Work
Expressed at Meeting

WASHINGTON. Dec. 10.-Speaker
Cannon made known today his unalter-
able opposition to the principle of
financing waterways improvements by
the Issuance of government bonds.
This was in an address to the rivers
and harbors congress.
He. declared that If perchance it
We're possible the rivers and harbors
committee should report bill to con-
gress providing that there should be an
issue for the next ten years to meet
the proposed Improvement bonds IN
the amount of one billion dollars,
would not vote for it,"
Cannon's attitude is at variance with
that held by Vice President i airbanks,
andrew Carnegie and others, as ex-
pressed before the congress yesterday.
Now, nobody wants the federal con-
gress in the next sixty DAYS TO commit
itself to an expenditure of twenty bill
lions for waterways and TO issue
bonds" said Cannon. IF it is neces-
sary to issue bonds 1 stand ready to
issue bonds. But expenditures must
be safe and sane"
The speaker declared, however. that
he would vote for appropriations re-
ported by the rivers and harbors COM
mittee under the leadership of Repre-
sentative Burton, who, he said, has
done more for waterways Improvement
tnan any other man in congress.
Cannon said he opposed the bond is
sue because it would beget the kind of
legislation that would put great guam
Titles of ill-advised projects upon the
country and that there would be a
serious accounting later on.
Cannon told of voting for rivers
and harbors bill over the veto Of Presi-
dent Arthur in 1888. and declared that
he had no doubt that some of those
who tried to stamp the life out of his
political body for voting for that oill
would say that II am . reacticnary:
that am sort of iiy in the ointment;
that / stand in the way
The San Francisco call., 1908-12-11
UNION PACIFIC HURRIES
GRAYS HARBOR SECTION
Time Set for Completion of the
Line to Tacoma Cut to
Six Months

Especial Dispatch to The Cali

TACOMA, Dec. 1O.-Bids for the
Union Pacific line between Tacoma and
Grays Harbor are~to be opened De-
cember "A. The time originally set for
the completion of the line was 10
months, but 1T has been cut to six
months.
AS it will be impossible to complete
the entire line into Tacoma. including
the tunnel and Pacific avenue viaduct
the Tacoma Eastern will afford the
Union Pacific temporary entrance into
Tacoma. The Union Pacific line will be
built from Grays Harbor to Gate City;
from there a branch will run due east
to connect with the Tacoma Eastern
The reason for this unexpected moye e
by the Union Pacific is that the Chica-
go, Milwaukee and St. Paul will use
the Union Pacific tracks from Tacoma
to the south. The Milwaukee line to
Puget sound Will be ready for opera
tion July ], and 1t is necessary that the
Grays Harbor connection be completed
at the same time
From Tacoma the Union Pacific will
reach Seattle over the Milwaukee
tracks and the latter will go to the
Grays ,Harbor country and Portland
over the Union Pacific.
The Chicago, Milwaukee and ST. Paul
Will build its own line around the
Olympic peninsula from Grays Harbor
to the straits of Fuca and thence down
the west shore of Hood canal
The San Francisco call., 1908-12-11
SHROYER ON TRIAL FOR
MURDER OF WOODAPPLE
Daughter Repeats Testimony
Accusing Father and Lund
of Burning Body
Special Dispatch to The Call

NAPA. Dec. 1o.-At the trial here of
j. L. Shroyer. civil war veteran, on
the charge of numbering John Wood
apple, strong testimony for the prose
cution was offered today. Mrs. Cath
crime Babcock, daughter of Shroyer,
gave a graphic account of the killing
of Woodapple by Shroyer and Lund.
She said that while standing on a
hill about 300 feet from the Wood
apple house February she saw Lund
strike Woodapple on the back of his
head with neckyoke. | Woodapple
fell senseless to the ground and Lund
and Shroyer then carried his body in
side the building. They set the house
on fire and burned the body in it,
Mrs. Babcock said that on the even
ing of February she heard Shroyer
and Lund planning in Shroyer's barn
to kin Woodapple the following day
and obtain 5000 which Woodapple had
buried in a bamboo thicket near his
house. They went on horseback to
the Woodapple place next day and
Mrs. Babcock followed them After
the murder, she said, Shroyer threat
ened to kill her if she told what she
had seen.
The San Francisco call., 1908-12-11
OFFICERS INDUCTFD
BY EASTERN STAR
MatrOn and Patron of Parnassus
Chapter Receive Tokens
From Members
installation of Olive Branch
Chapter Will Be Held Monday
in King SOlOmon's Hall

Past Grand Associate Matron Alice F.
Hickie of Mission chapter. assisted by
Isabel Woodside. past matron of Calf
fornia chapter, and Past Grand Patron
George Louis Darling. installed the
officers of Parnassus chapter No. 2ss.
Order of the Eastern Star. for the
current term in It's hall In the Sunset
district The officers are:
Phebc Hoyt worthy matron; Edward Barnes.
worthy patron; Ella BryOn. secretary; Mary
sen. conductress; Helen Martha Carlten. as
sociate eondnetress; Harvfe Babcock Anderson.
Adah; Lillian BryOn. Ruth; Sadie Elsie John
son. Esther Alice Pauline Hum. Martha; Mary
Reid Iouideek. eleetor; Jennie Anne Scott.
warder; James Merton Hoyt. chaplain: May
Annette Saville, marshal; William Albert Hoyt,
sentinel.
At the close of the ceremony the
matron and the patron, each having
served under dispensation until the
chapter received it's charter, at the re-
cent session of the grand chapter. were
given tokens of the members appre-
citation of the work they have already
done. The former was given fine
pocket case. The installing officer and
her marshal We're each given piece
of crystal ware as a souvenir of the
occasion. and the acting grand chap
lain was given silver key ring.
During the evening there were ad
dresses by Grand COnductress Margaret
F.. Smell: Hattie McPhun. past matron
of Mission chapter; James E. Gordon,
past patron of Ivy; the installing Of
ficers and the retiring and present wor
shipful masters OF Parnassus lodge of
Free and Accepted Masons.
The officers elect of Olive Branch
chapter No. l6s. Order OF the Eastern
Star, and those appointed by the ma
tron elect will be installed in public
in King SolomOns hall in Fillmore
street next Monday night. December
Il. The new corps of officers is made
up of:
Tessie A. Hopkins. worthy matron; Otto J.
Crossheld. worthy patron; ClemeBtina E. Bjiek.
associate matron; Sadie ]. Kahn, secretary;
Minnie s. Reed. treasurer; Martha Rosenberg,
eondnctress; George Mabel Knowles. associate
conductress: Freda Maria Boyseu. Clara Bork-
heim Bertha Basker. Mary Lnderman and
Grace Lanerty. points Of the star Charlotte
E. Cater warder: Mary Hammond Lewis. sen
tiuel: Mary Freel. chaplain; Jennie Brandt
marshal: Lena b. Anderson. orsanist. Jennie
Brandt. the retiring matrOn, viii he the in
stalling officer
The San Francisco call., 1908-12-11
FIGHTERS AFFINITY
PROLIFIC WRITER
Pugilist's Spouse Granted Die
vorce When Letters to Hns-
band Are Read in Court /
Wife of Ex-Strike Breaker Who
Was Said to Have BnnkOed
Calhoun Given Decree

Slabs of ungrammatical but burning
anection from the affinity of Aurelio
A. Herrera. the prize lighter. were read
into the records OF Judge Grahams
court yesterday during the trial OF the
suit of Bertha Herrera for divorce
The letters of the arinity were wr1g-
ten from Boston. kid. I love you so.
kid" she wrote. you was so good TO
me and 1 just happen to be dead stuck
on YOU"
Ten million kisses were conveyed to
the pugilist, and his signing corre-
spondent told him she had said TO her
friends. There wasn't any girl who
would not love her kid"
Herrera now keeps a saloon in
Bakersfield. His wife testified he had
not contributed to her support for
more than a year. She was granted a
divorce.
Maud A Arlington was granted
divorce by Judge MOgan yesterday
from Edward ". Arlington. formerly
employed by the United Railroads as a
strike breaker. Arlington is said to
have been one of a trio OF men who
framed up a job on Calhoun, Offering
TO sell him for $4,000 certain testimony
against the graft prosecution They
had drained $2,5O0 from the street
railroadman's pocket. 1t is alleged, be-
fore he realized that they had nothing
of value to sell him.
Mrs. Arlington testified that her hus-
band often came home drunk and beat
her.
Upon her cross complaint Josephin9
Cotton was granted divorce by Judge
Trout from Charles Cotton. proprietor
of a clothing establishment at 1142
Market street. Mrs. Cotton testified
that her husband was man OF unEOv-
ernable temper and passions and that
he had humiliated her by heaping re-
proaches on her. Although married
only six months. his treatment was
such that a physicians care was made
necessary. Alimony in the sum Of S25
a month was granted
Other divorces granted yesterday
were: BY Judge MOgan-Annie M.
Aber from Daniel G. Aber desertion.
By Judge Sturtevant-Harry NIillette
from Alice Millette. desertion. BY
Judge Troutt-Jessie Bernard from Al
fOnz S Bernard. cruelty: ChristobeI
Lagos from Albert Lagos. desertion.
BY Judge J. ID. Murphy-Henrietta
Rosenblum from Maurice l. ROsen-
blum. annulled on the ground that the
plaintiff was under Is years OF age at
the time of the marriage.
Suits for divorce were filed yester-
day by George H. Bunting against Dora
Bunting on the ground that the de-
fendant Is incurably subject TO epilep-
tic fits.
The San Francisco call., 1908-12-11
FOR HOUSE INQUIRY
ON SECRET SERVICE
Resolution Prepared for Select
Committee on Expressions
in Presidents Message
Proposal to Expunge Offensive
Words From Record Opposed
by Republicans

WASHINGTON, Dec 1O.--Numerous
conferences were held at the capitol
today relating to President Roosevelt $
message to congress and his recon-
mendations concerning the secret serv-
Ice in which he used language which
is objected to by senators and repre-
sentatlves. The last of these confer
ences was at the office of Speaker Can-
non and was attended by the speaker
and Senators Aldrich and Hale.
1t was decided practically that a
resolution should be introduced in the
house tomorrow providing for the ap-
pointment Of select committee to coa-
slider the recommendations for the res
toration of the law regarding the Sc
cret service and also to take account
of the expressions IN the message
which were offensive to members of
congress.
resolution has been prepared and
is in the custody of Representative
Perkins of New York, VINO will intro
duce it.
Indications point to no action by the
senate on the message until after the
house has investigated the entire
matter.
number of democratic senators
have held informal conferences con-
Soi iiiiS tile idhBudSe uSeu oS NV
president/and as a result Senator Gull
berson, consulting with Senator Hale,
took the position that the message
could not be ignored and suggested
that the portion relating to the secret
service be referred to the senate COM
mittee on appropriations for an inves-
.tigation.
AT a conference at the senate end
there were number of republican
senators who have always been ready
to defend any criticism made OF the
president. They announced their de-
cided opposition 10 suggestions which
had been made that all parts of the
message which had given offense
should be expunged from the record.
They announced they would not oppose
any resolution providing for an inves-
tigation
The San Francisco call., 1908-12-11
TWO REAR ADMIRALS TO
RETIRE FROM THE NAVY
PiIIsbury Gives Up Bureau of
Navigation and Emory Com
mand of Second Division

WASHINGTON, Dec. 10.-Announce-
ment was made today of the retire
ment OF Rear Admiral J. E. Pillsbury,
chief of the bureau of navigation, to
take effect December Is. and of Rear
Admiral w. H. Emory, who recently
relinquished command of the second di-
vision of the Atlantic feet at Hong
kong.
Admiral Pillsbury will, at the presi-
dents request. continue in charge of.
the bureau until the end of the present
administration.
The appointment of ]. H. Sears. in
command OF the gunboat Concord to
duty as naval attache at Tokyo and
Peking to succeed Commander J. A.
Dougherty. who is ordered to duty on
the Pacific station. was also announced.
The San Francisco call., 1908-12-11
STOCKTON MERCHANTS
WANT BETTER SERVICE
Representations Made for Extra
Trains for Residents of
the West Side
Especial Dispatch to The Call


STOCKTON, Dec. 1O.-Mayor George
F. Hudson and President j. NJ Perry
and Secretary J. NJ. Eddy of the Stock
ton chamber of commerce, with IS
prominent businessmen of the city.
met In conference in San Francisco
today with Charles s. Fee, passenger
traffic manager of the Southern Pa
cific. and Paul Shoup. assistant traffic
manager, for the purpose of discuss
ing the proposition of increasing the
passenger service between Stockton
and west side points, including Beth
any, Antioch and other stations Any
thing is acceptable to the Stockton
1anS, whether motor car, steam
coaches or other conveyance. so long
as the residents of the west side
points can come to Stockton and re-
turn in day. Assurances were given
by the off1cials of the railroad COM
pany that the matter would be taken
up by the traffic department