The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-12-05
List should Be Made Out
and Distributed Among
Friends.
MANY PRESENTS
ARE NOT NEEDED
Zoo Much Fancy Business and
Not Enough Utility
Articles.

The man came upon me as nstlessly
pounded the keys of my typewriter.
wearing an expressing so earnest that
! saw at once he had some new reform
to recommend.
Write about what to give men for
Christmas presents" he said, beginning
with his usual formula.
81 have written about that every year
since / was able to write at all, D." / re-
minded him i am ashamed 10 write
about il again. What does IL matter
whether men receive any Christ
mas gifts? What does il matter wheJh-
er those thrust upon them are suitable
or not? OF what Importance, II any,
so bad as that?" asked the man
symPathetcally, and then returned to
his grievance.
Some Brass Things.
THE other day" said he Il came
suddenly into the library at home just
IN time to see some brass things being
showed into the drawer Of the table. My
suspicious were naturally aroused and
! waited around until the rest of the
family left the room, when 1 investl-
gated
''Dishonorable." said l.
Not disn0nOrable at all; a fellow
must be prepared tOr misfortune, re-
Wen. anyway. the brass articles
were, as ! suspected, dainty little things
for my desk
You cant say that gift was not we'll
Selected, / put in.
Il can and 1 do" returned the man
with fervOT. My desk Is not a ladys
desk, remember II IS not intended 10
look pretty, il never does look pretty,
IL is strictly and entirely work place
for a plain ana practical man, There
is good work done on that desk, ana
its equipment is II the plalnest- II con-
sists of an inkstand which cost p cents,
muCh-blJtLCd blOtter not too good 10
use, and SOM WOCden-haudled pens.
III that desk We're ever 10 he ntteC
mp with a lot of little yellow pans, letter
racks and such trlnkets. II would not
know itself, and L am convinced I should
not know it. The first time / made an
energetic motion with my pen they
would all go tumbling on Men don [
like knick-knacks about them when
WHAT did YOU do about it?" in
quirsd-
veTsatIOnaly that 1 had heard smith
say he was going 10 give MS brother
desk fittings for Christmas, and that l
considered the person who gave such
present a bally idiot
Il never heard anything SO brutal 1
protested.
All Pretty Anxious.
yes, it seemed to make EN- all pretty
anxious. 1 saw them looking at each
other and making motions, but 1 pre-
tended not 10 notice"
'If We're the person concerned you
would receive those brass things ana
nothing else. If You don mind, VIII
you tell me what, IN your opinion, Is d
proper present 10 make man!
Ay guest thought for Ions time be-
fore he spoke Its q nuisance, any
Nv" ne SAID finally. If anyone should
give me motor car
You would look the gift horse in the
mouth and declare you preferred an
other make l interrupted him rudely
perhaps. perhaps returned the man
easily, and Thought some more. 1t $
not half so easy TO say what TO give
Fellow as what not to give. 1 don't like
smoking utensils, nor cigars, nor era
Vats-'
"IVhy don't you. if you are so par
ticular, make out list OF the things
you would like 10 have and give il 10
those persons who are likely 10 make
you Christmas gifts
Good idea, I'll do il now eXclaim-
ed the man, and set to work I pound
ed the keeps OF my typewriter again,
and after some minutes OF deep breath
ing and writing, my visitor handed he
the result of his work. II read:
] dozen collars, size t.
pair heavy tan gloves.
] razor strop.
] stick shaving soap.
! long towel roller Tor crayats.
hang mine on the chandelier now.
toy steam engine q am tired or
making up excuses to play with my
uephew's).
j plain. serviceable umbrella. I don't
carry q cane. and a silver head dOesn
make me any more likely to use one.
Half-dOzen largest size bath towels
The ones 1 have now are much too
small
] pair OF the OvershOes known as go
lOsles.
! sponge.
All silver-backed clothes brushes, sill
Yer photograph frames, cuff and collar
boxes and cravat cases respectfully de-
clneds also silver cigarette ana matcl
safes, which are both too pretty and
too small for use
IT'S a short tale and easily told %
said / when / had finished reading.
But the man was not paying atten-
ton. Instead / heard him murmur. If
they persist in giving me those brass
desk dishes. hanged if I don't give
'em to the chief"