Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-24
PLEAD FOR GYPSUM
Tariff Witnesses Hope Duty
will Stay as 1t Is.
COMMITTEE Is INTERESTED
It Has One of the INCEST Rooms
Anywhere to Be Found.
FINE SETTING FOR BIG MINDS
Mr.. Cowes-Throggmordon Looks on,
Tells Stories, and Makes Com
ments-Mighty Hunter, he.
FINE SETTING FOR BIG MINDS


Several middle-aged gentlemen who
looked like ready money and one young
man who was talkative and seemed anx-
ious to earn his retainer told the COM
mittee what fierce time the gypsum in
dustry was having, and how all the con-
Germs engaged in the business were fail
ing, and that it was impossible nowadays
for "a gypsumist to make more than so or
60 per cent on his investment, no matter
how economical he was.
Yes and IL would be criminal and
brutal to do anything with the duty on
gypsum. For it would cut THE profits
down to 20 or 80 per cent. And no gen.
tleman then would fool with the blamed
stuff"
There was big crowd on hand. Most
were visitors who had dropped in just to
see what a tariff hearing looks like when
it is at home Among these was the Hon.
Maurice wes-Throggmorden Of London.
He is on his way back home from a big
game hunt in Africa and India He has
been reading the newspapers, and told a
Star reporter he thought perhaps the
President might enjoy hearing some Of
his "reminiscences.
Great Yarn This One.
Mr.. Cowes-Throggmorden has one story
| that is a peach. 1t is all about fat cow
| tied to tree and a hungry tiger stink
| ing through the tropical jungle on its
stomach, and Mr. es-Throggmorden
sitting on a high branch with his hands
| full of artillery.
"Of course it is dangerous said Mr..
Cowes-Throggmorden languidly, because
sometimes when you think everything ia
| over and get down out of the tree there s
| another bally tiger lettering around and
| 1t chaSeS you.
But dash me If l believe your Presi-
dent would mind that. Now would he?"
The reporter murmured something.
Mr.. Cowes-Throggmorden seemed inter-
| ested In the ways and means committee,
but not in gypsum. And no wonder
Now the ways and means room has been
furnished in mahogany and bright red
plush, with long, churchy-looking cur
tafns hanging from the very top of the
long, pious-looking windows to the floor,
and bunch Of American flags is wound
around the three improvised electroiers-
there are some permanent ones coming
| that will throw in the shade anything
ever seen around these parts. 1t makes
| mighty fine setting for the gentlemen
of the committee.
They sit behind semi-circular bar eff
| feet OF polished and carved mahogany,
| with Nick Longworth on one end and
Bourke Cochran at the other. s. Elisha
Payne, who Represents q district up in
New York. and is chairman of the COM
| mittee, sits in the middle in front of an
| immense panel Of red velvet and under q
canopy that has swastikas and other
heraldic devices embroidered on it in gold
thread.
This velvet panel shows Mr.. Payne up
fine. He Is an imposing looking man
when he sits down with something solid
| in front of him that hides him up to the
third button of his waistcoat. and the
| rrd velvet sort Of brings out and mellows
| ami idealizes his snowy white hair and
vintage complexion.
Chairman IL Admired.
Mr.. Cowes-Throggmorden. who js used
to royalty and always says God bless
| i'm under his breath whenever the kings
name is mentioned, was much attracted
by Mr.. Payne
MY word he said, 1.-The big person in
the middle looks like bally duke. Dash
me if he don't. Why. he's the picture of
one used to know. Gay dog he was, too,
and handsome. Died of govt at Marienbad
| last year. Pom honor, he did
Mr.. Payne worries Elliot Woods a
whole lot Mr. Woods is superintendent
of the Capitol and is responsible for ev-
erything on the hill. from the temperature
of the crypt to the patriotic frescoes on
the ceiling of the ventilation and acous-
tics committee room.
So, whenever he stops in the ways
and means room to one of these tariff
hearings and Mr.. Payne puts his hand
| to his ear and bawls at a witness the
acoustic properties of this room are
fearful. You simply must speak louder,
it makes him nervous He admits it.
OF course he knows. as does evcry-
body else, that Mr.. Payne is just a tribe
hard of hearing and won't admit 1T. But
Mr.. Payne is a power in the house on
the hill, and what he says goes SO
man bawls out about this acoustic
thing Mr.. Wood runs out in the hall
and comes back Juggling a rug or an
armchair or an American flag.
He doesn't hold with the new school
of engineers of which Henry Harper
VAC. (ventlation. acoustics. chromatics).
is dean, that a lot of little silk strings
hanging from the ceiling will make dis
orderly acoustics behave. He believes.
as do most people. that you've got to
soak lip loose sound with furniture and
such.
No More Furniture Needed.
Anyhow, Mr. Wood has managed to fix
the ways and means room SO that now
when a man says "Mr. Chairman 1t
doesn't sound like as If somebody had
stepped on a match in a firecracker fac
tory. You can tell that he has said some
thing. even IL the words do get sort
of tangled.
Mr.. Harper and Mr.. Wood had a sort
of row about this acoustic business.
Mr.. Harper offered to fix the ways and
means room cheap. Mr.. Woods thought
he could do it himself.
So every time Chairman Payne growls
about II Mr.. Harper, who is always on
hand. retires to the rear of the room and
slaps himself on the leg. He thinks
they'll have to give him the job yet
The ways and means room was some
thing of an experiment, but it looks
So grand now that all the other h;g
committees are frenzied with jealousy.
The House judiciary committee, which
has been assigned big room on the
second floor, a duplicate of the ways
that it's furniture and fiXings must he
duplicated too.
The members of that committee seem
to think they've got heap more right
to sit behind n legal-looking bar and
throw out their chests and growl at wit
neseses from under red velvet canopies
than the ways and means people For
the judiciary committee trifles with the
law and decides constitutional ques-
lions, while all the ways and means
committee has to do Is to sit around and
ask questions about soap. and steel rails,
and gypsum. and tinplate, and watches.
and guano.
Mr. Woods has been SO pestered by
these judiciary committee members that
he has had to give in and order some
more regal mahogany and royal red
hangings