davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1908-09-12
WIT EUM1@R
~g17D
&AAR GA@N

Smithson-Poor chap! understand
that he was dubbed to death. Jones'
by-Yes He belonged to four. think.
Judge
Miss Peyteet-How do l look In this
hat? Elder Brother-Under it, you
mean, don't you. sis? You look pref
ty small.-Chicago Tribune.
"A prophet is without honor In hi.
own country" remarked the moralizer'
True" rejoined the demoralizer. but
he is never without competition. Chi
cago Daily News.
Mani don't see why Miss Muglei
should want to marry him. with all hel
money. Dick-I guess she had to.
don't believe he'd nave taken her with
out it.-Philadelphia Press.
What forced you to become crook.
ed?" asked the magistrate of the pris.
oner before him. Trying to make
both ends meet, your Honor" was the
more or less satisfactory reply-Cleve-
land Leader.
Nell hear you are going to gee
married. Bell-MarriedY Why, such q
thing as marriage has never occurred
to me. Nell-Well, didn't suppose
you had been married before.-Phil-
adelphia Record.
you must be very careful with
your daughter, Mrs. Comeup. She
has rapidly growing mentality
''Oh. gracious. doctor! Will she have
to have an operation to cure it?"-
Baltimore American.
Hewitt-Figures won't lie. Jewett-
That's what l tell the people | meet
in business, but they won't believe
me. Hewitt-What is your business1
Jewett-I'm collector for gas COM
pany.-Town and Country.
Guest Tin cheap restaurant)-See
here, waiter, thought l told you to
bring me a strong cup of coffee.
.Waiter-Well, wots de matter wild
dat cup? Youse couldn't break 1t wild
a axe.-Chicago Daily News.
A statistician has discovered that
automobiling is distracting young men
from marriage. Why shouldn't It?
man who owns an automobile has
trouble enough without thinking Of get
ting married. Record.
The congressman was leaving Wash
ington for his own town. "Well, good
BY" said a friend. Il suppose the
citizens will be out in force to meet
your lin afraid they WILL" re-
replied the OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Ledger.
Il has been tor" said Brother Dick
ey, dat my sermons puts folks ter
sleep; but dat's all right. Dey amt
dom any harm whilst dey is a-sleepin'.
an deyll wake up fast enough wen
de devil bulls fire under 'um!"-
Atlanta Constitution.
This business Of giving people lot
of straps to hang on to in the cars
is all wrong!" exclaimed the indignant
citizen. That's right" answered Mr..
Dustin Stax, with sudden interest.
The public ought to be made to fur
nish its own straps."-Washington
STAR
bod rot it," angrily exclaimed the
unsuccessful contributor. II don't
s'pose there's anything could write
that you'd accept" Il guess not" re-
Piled the country editor. Il don't sup
pose you could write q check for a
years subscription. could you?'-Phil.
adelphia Press
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1908-09-12
THE CUCKOO'S HABITS.

NUShOO ..
It is we'll known that the cuckoo
avs her eggs in the nests of other
birds. Now comes the German natur-
alist, Konrad Fuss. who breaks a
lance in defense of the cuckoo's char
acter. or rather. gives the reasons for
the birds strange habit. Owing to
the unusually large stomach of this
bird, he says. she has not room in
the rest of her body to develop more
than one egg at a time. with week s
interval between each. II she laid
her eggs with such long pauses be-
tween in one family's nest. there
would result a confusion of Matched.
Matching and embyro progeny which
would mean disaster to all.
She could not herself attend to
more than one nest at time. Con-
seQuently, she is forced to exact ma
ternal care for her eggs from other
birds.
She Is careful to choose the nest
of a worm-and-insect eating bird
preferably one in whose menu cater
pillars often appear, the hairier and
bigger the better. for the hungry big
stomachs of the young cuckoos.
Nature seems to do everything in
her power to encourage the cuckoo in
her apparently shiftless. lazy ways.
She has no natural gift for nest-build-
ing, but lays her eggs on the ground.
seizes theLa in her bill. and drops
them by stealth into some unsuspect-
ing neighbor's nest.
Oddly enough, although the cuckoo
is four times as large as the skylark,
her eggs are as small as those Of the
lark, and pass unnoticed among the
eggs of many varieties of small birds.
The young cuckoo, till about ten
days old-the age at which it begins
to crowd legitimate progeny out OF
the nest-has a natural depression in
its back which acts as convenient
kind of ladle for turning the luckless
lodgings out into the cold world.
The cuckoo, being so much larger
than the other birds, fills the nest
with its own bulk, and is forced to
adopt these drastic measures. This
act Of self-preservation accomplished,
the cuckoo's back assumes the come
ly symmetry of later life.
The adopted parent does not seem
to notice or resent this behavior in
the least. but coddles and tends the
interloper till 1t has reached the age
Of discretion, and pays no further at
.ention to her discarded young. The
cuckoos migration Is also arranged
for at q much earlier date than others
of the feathered world-an engage
ment which she could not keep II do
nestle cares detained her.
Poetry, sentiment, scandal. SUPER
stition-since history began the
cuckoo has been a favorite subject
OF all these. She Is the herald OF
spring, of storms; she will foretell
your length of days; she becomes a
hawk in the winter in order to add to
her wisdom.
Cuckoo, cuckoo, dear, how many
years till I marry" is eagerly asked
by peasant maidens in the springs.
and the answering "Coo. COO! Coo.
coo!" as eagerly counted and i'm
plicitly believed.
The earliest English song extant,
written in the thirteenth century, is
a Joyous welcome of the first cuckoo
call in the spring. 1t begins "Sumer
is icumen in" or, as we spell 1t,
Summer is a-coming in."-Ameri-
can Home Monthly.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1908-09-12
The Girl Scholar.

Dir. Taylor, president of Vassar,
says this is a cold world for the girl
scholar. Possibly, but whenever she
has set herself to work she has made
Il vegv hot for man-New York Her.
AID
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1908-09-12

Masculine Imagination.
Some men make mountains out Of
mole hills and then sell them foE
summer gesorts.-Dallas News.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1908-09-12
Daily Thought.

Nor love thy life, nor hate, but
what thou livest Newell: how long
or short permit to heaven.-Milton.
The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1908-09-12

If she was told to sit quite still
Upon her little chair,
You really might assure yourself
That she would sit right there.
If ugly children called her names
She merely sat and smiled;
She never quarreled back at them;
She was a well-bred child.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05
Notice!

We, the undersigned citizens and
land owners of Rails County, No.,
living from 8 to 5 miles Southeast
from Monroe City, give notice to all
hunters and trespassers that we
will prosecute them to the full ex-
tent of the law if found trespassing
on our lands and for all shooting on
or across the public highway:
John D. Wood and M. l. Thomas,
H. W. Ely, W. H. Elliott, J. j. Lam
ham, M. L. Redman, A. Lee Ely, E
S. Hampton, Lawless Bros, DR.. J.
H. Bell, John C. Hardy, E. Long
mire, Hugh Ford, Victor Ely, Geo
L. Hampton, Richard E. Redman
John H. Elzea, Charles Carlston, W
H. Elliott, jr.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05
The Unselfish Bachelor.


Bachelors are cultivated in all
large cities. They live in bachelor
apartments and bungalows. They
can be seen during the day in
counting houses and on golf links,
and in the evening at dinner parties
and poker games.
Bachelors at one time were easily
caught with almost any kind of bait,
and swallowed bait, hook, sinker and
all, often at the first throw. Now,
however, they are becoming much
more wary and hide in the depths
of their bachelor apartments or in
deep pool rooms from which they
cannot be lured.
They are gregarious in their hab-
its, running in schools, but they
stand by one another, and it is very
unusual to find a solitary one. 0c-
casionally, however, more foolish
and overconfident specimen will
poke his nose into a summer re.
sort, when he is promptly landed.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05
Uses OF Kerosene Oil.

Put a little kerosene in
water when cleaning wind
panes.
Except for the unpleasant cd
it is an excellent thing for the b
and scalp.
Two tablespoonful put il
the wash boiler will loosen the {
and make the clothes white.
Half a cupful added to the We
when hopping up the floor
thoroughly cleanse it.
Before vanishing furnit
clean well with kerosene, and
varnish will take much better
Farm and Fireside.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05
A Rule of Three.

Three things to govern Tenn.
tongue and conduct.
Three things to cultivate -CC
age. affection and gentleness.
Three things to commend = Tn
industry and promptness.
Three things to despise Crut
arrogance and ingratitude.
Three things to wish for Hee
friends and contentment.
Three things to admire DigI
eracefulnesS and intellectual pc
Three things to give Aim.
the needy, comfort to the sad
appreciation to the worthy.
The Gentlewoma
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05
A Song for Every Day.

Work while yet the daylight shint
With a loving heart and true,
For golden years are fieeting by,
And we are heeting to.
Then learn to make the most of Ii
Make glad each passing day,
For time will never bring thee ba
The chances swept away.
The Gentlewoman.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05
Hard Tumble.

Saturday night some Of TIL
youngsters thouehtlessly on fuI
bent, tied a rope from tree to-
post at the Bert Bull place, corne
Court and North Main streets, an
tripped Rev. T. Penn, who took
hard tumble to the cement wal
and injured one hand and bruise
one side of his face.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Short-Yes: believe some
tune tellerS are on the level.
long ago one agreed to tell
something about my future 4
dollar. Long Well? Short-I
her the money, and she told
the time would come when w
wish had my dollar back.-Ct
90 News.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Quite a number of the ladi,
the Christian Church formed 3
ty and went to Hannibal. I
day afternoon to hear the ne
ist, Rev. Scoville
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Daniel Osborne and wife. of
mouth, ILL.,. have been the que
Mr.. osborne's nephew. Dear
borne and family.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

New London has awakened from
her long sleep and catered in the
line Of progression. Just think Of
il. she is to have a Corn KafnivaI,
4 fair and arsce track. Good for
the Little Kingdom. .fa, ehf
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05
The Common Lot.
By Eugene C. Dolson.

Dy LuB6HC y DOIoOIl-
Not always ours to choose the wa
we 60,
And yet, perchance, as towaI
the goal we tend,
Custom will smooth the road, an
we may grow
To prize our unsought life woI
the end.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Mrs. E. A. Thompson and de
ter, Miss Sarah Paul, went to
bina, Friday to visit their Fl
Mrs. Victor Reid.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05
Tall Swearing.

We are under the impression that
there is a city ordinance prohibit
ing profanity on the streets. And
regardless of it there are some
school boys from IL to is years
old who do more pure, unadulter-
ated "cussing" from way back. than
do all the men put together.
Who is to blame for it? They,
their parents, their teacher or the
non-enfOrcement of the law.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Mesdames Frank Bottorff an,
E. Willard went to Lorraine.
Friday to visit the homefolks.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

After being with her parents.
Senator and Mrs. W. S. McClintic
for three weeks. Mrs. E. P. Nelson
returned to her home. St. Louis.
Friday. The Senators condition
had improved greatly.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

E. A. Thompson spent Sunda
Shelbina with his family who I
the guest of friends there.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05
There is a God,


livered at Macon Chautauqua:
Il sat in a great theatre at the
national capital. It was thronged
with youth and beauty, old age and
wisdom. saw a man, the image
of his God, stand upon the stage
and heard, him speak. His ges-
lures were perfection of grace; his
voice was music and his language
was more beautiful than had ever
heard from mortal lips. He painted
pictures and sympathies of home.
He enthorned love and preached
the gospel of humanity like an
angel. Then l saw him dip his
brush in ink and blot out the beau
tiful picture he had painted. / saw
him stab love to death at his feet.
l saw him blot out the stars and
sun, and leave humanity and the
universe in eternal darkness and
eternal death. saw him, like the
serpent of God, worm himself into
the paradise of human hearts and
by his seductive eloquence and the
subtle device Of his sophistry inject
his fatal venom, under whose blight
the flowers faded, It's music was
hushed, its sunshine was darkened,
and the soul was left a deserted
waste, with only the new made
graves of faith and hope.
saw him like a lawless, cratic
meteor without an orbit sweep
across the intellectual sky, brilliant
only in self-consuming fire, general
ed by fiction with the indestructible
truths of God. That man was the
archangel of modern infdelity and
said: How trne is holy writ
which declares, the fool hath said
in his heart there is no God"
Tell me not, o infdel, there is no
" God, no Heaven, no He'll.
A solemn murmur in the soul tells
of a world to be
AS travellers hear the pillows roll
before they reach the sea-"
Tell me not, O, infidel. there is NJ
risen Christ!
When every earthly hope has fled
When angry seas their billow
fling,
How sweet to lean on what wha
said,
How firmly to His cross we cling!
1t is in the desert of evil wher
virtue trembles to tired, where hop
falters and where faith is crucifieC
the infdel dreams. To him, al
there is of heaven is bounded b,
this little span of life; all there i
of pleasure and love is circumscrit
ed by a few fleeting years; all ther
is of beauty is mortal; all there i
of intelligence and wisdom is in tn
human brain; all there is of modes
. ty and infinity is fathomable by HI
. man reason, and all there is of vii
tue is measured by the relation
of man to man. To him all mus
} end in the "tongueless silence {
the dreamless dust" and all ths
lies beyond the grave is a voiceles
shore and starless sky. To hin
there are no prints ofdeathless fet
on his echoIess sands. no thrill {
, immortal music in its joyless air.
c, He has lost his God, and Liz
u some fallen seraph flying in raylec
i night. he eropes his way on fiaggin
: pinions. searching for light whel
t darkness reigns, for life whel
q death is king"
e = - - ,.,.
Mesdames j. H. Walker and Wi
h liam Way. of Woodland have bee
) thn nnasts of their friend Mrs ]
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Mrs. W. J. Jackson. Of Wood
arrived Friday to visit her par
Isaac McIntire and wife.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Mesdames j. H. Walker and vii
liam Way. of Woodland have been
the guests of their friend, Mrs. H.
B. Reid.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Mrs. ]. N. Southern was witt
Bluff City friends Saturday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Mrs. Thomas Powers. Of Palmyra
has been with friends in this city.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05
Mrs Mary Hendricks has been
with Palmyra friends.

Mrs. Daniel Phillips was called TO
Laclede. Saturday by the illness Of
her father. Judge Z ~ Sharp.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Mrs, L. D. Court went TO Philadel-
phia. Friday to spend several days
with old friends.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Benz. Hickman. of Hannibal spent
the Sabbath with relatives in this
city.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

L. C. Saunders came in from
Kansas to visit friends and vote fol
Bryan and Stone
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Miss Susie McClintic has been
spending several days with friends
in Quincy.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Mrs. J. F. Renshaw has been
with relatives in Palmyra.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Mrs. Florence Taylor, of St
Louis, has been visiting her cousin
Miss Callie White.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Scudder Maddox was with Pal
myra friends Sunday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Mrs. John Bixler and daughter,
Miss Dorothy have been with Pal
myra friends.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

John Chaloupsky has been with
St. Louis friends.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

William Kendrick. of Lakenan
was with friends in this city Satur.
day.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05

Mrs. J. N. Sparkling has been with
Gem City friends.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-11-05
800 Government Irrigated Farms
Big Horn Basin of Wyoming
Open to Settlements to 100 Acres Each.

deep rich and fertile soil Abundant crops of finest quality
wheat alfalfa sugar beets potatoes fruits and other native
pleasant heath climate extremes Of
temperature foods cyclones dugh billiards sunshine almost
Plenty timber hand Good anspoa
faiesthe c. B. R right through these lands Grow
ing towns excellent educational and religious advantages Abundant
supply Perfectly constructed irrigation system Payments in
farms direct from the government at low prices.
Reduced railroad the first and third Tuesdays of each
will personally Landeekers
show these lands Come with the
and for yourself services free
folder with large map folder issued by
the Reclamation Service of the United States Government giving all in
for the asking
IsSIsSlE *#8 D. GLEN DEAVER General Agent
klIllIIIlklsLlsM LANDSEEKERS INFORMATION BUREAU.
lxR is Building Omaha Neb
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1908-08-03

/ East Kootenay since Saturday: Num-
ber killed, 17O; homeless, 5000. The
district swept by the fire extends
from near Cranbrook to within four
miles of Frank Alberta, a distance
of fifty miles. The towns destroyed
are Fernie, Coal Creek, Hosmer (par-
tally and Mitchell. The total prop
erty loss is estimated at $6.5OO.OO0.
The loss in Fernie is $2,O0O,0OO.
Hundreds Dead; Thousands in Want.
Spokane, Aug. 3.-A special from
Fernie, B. c., to the Spokesman-Re-
in the fire that has swept a territory
of one hundred square miles in ex-
tent and completely destroyed this c1-
ty and a number of other towns, will
reach beyond the hundred mark So
many people living in the burned dis
trict are in need of relief that up to
the present no effort has been made
to ascertain the number of the dead.
In the country swept by the flames,
there is estimated to have been sever
these have been sent to Cranbrook
and Elko, and some 1,5OO fed north
ward and reached Hosmer and other
places along the line of the Great
Northern by train. All the people were
able to carry they left in fighting their
way through the sheets of flame to
place of safety. Scores of families are
separated, not knowing where their
wives and children are located. The
loss at the lowest estimate is placed
at S2,50O,0OO and the insurance will
amount to s1.5OO.OOO. 1t is estimated
by the relief committee that $500 peo-
pie will have to be furnished tempor-
ary food and shelter.
Loaded with provisions, clothing
and bedding a special car was attach
ed to today's train over the Spokane
International railroad for Fernie to
aid the destitute.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1908-08-03
BEATTY AND WITTEMAN
CONSOLIDATE LAUNDRlES

A. j. Witteman, proprietor of the
Roswell Steam Laundry, and VIII Bea-
ty, proprietor of the Pecos Valley
Steam Laundry have pooled their
laundry interests, and in the future
will operate one plant. The best OF
the Roswell Steam Laundry stand,
at the corner of Pecos and Sixth
street, and the old laundry on North
Richardson avenue will be abandoned.
Mr.. Beatty will devote all his time to
the combined business, and Mr.. Witte-
man will divide his time between the
laundry and the Grand Central hotel,
of which he is landlord.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1908-08-03
IMPORTANT DEMOCRATIC
CONFERENCE IN NEW YORI

New York, Aug. 3.-An important
conference to outline the plan OF
campaign in New York state was held
this morning by Norman E. Mack,
committee, with Charles F. Murphy,
leader of Tammany Hall, and W. J.
Corners, chairman of the state COM
mittee. Mack leaves for Chicago to-
night and will remain there two
weeks.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1908-08-03
WILL DENNlNG WEDS
AN AMARIl q


Mr.. and Mrs. S. P. Denning, return
ing Sunday night from Amarillo, re-
port the marriage at ten O'Clock Sun
day morning Of their son, VIII. to
Miss LYDIA Fulton, a pretty young wo-
man of the Yellow City. The wedding
was a quiet affair. at the home Of
Rev. Mr.. Ferguson, the Methodist
pastor, who performed the ceremony.
The couple will reside in Amarillo,
where the groom is employed in the
Amarillo Clothing Store. The bride
came to Amarillo with her parents
recently from Iowa. She is accomplish
ed and wen 1eaucated as we'll as being
spEetfy. having beEn a teacher two
years In her native state. The groom
iswen kn1wm IN Roswell. being a son
In one or Rosweliss BEST families.
The Roswell daily record. [volume] (Roswell, N.M.) 1903-current, 1908-08-03

deadly peril to reach the entombed
men.
Pottsville, Pa, Aug. 3.-The latest
reports from the Knickerbocker mine
are that five men were imprisoned,
that three were rescued in a serious
condition, and that the other two are
probably dead.