davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-05
A SURPRISED sMoRDsMAN.
Judge Gcffe's Flay With : Dragging
Fencing Master

a fencing master appeared ID Bostor
one winter In the seventeenth century
and had erected stage on which BIZ
strutted up and down at certain hours
defying any and all to engage in swen
play with him
After this had gone on for severa1
days and the mans boasts had be
come insufferable Judge William COTE
and Edward Whalley, the famous Eng.
lish political refugees, disguised them
selves Ia rustic costume and appeared
before the alleged master. COTE held
In one hand cheese wrapped in a
napkin, which he used for a shield.
and carried mop which he had soak
ed In muddy water as he passed a pud-
die
Thus equipped, the judge mounted
the stage. The fencer rallied at him
for his impudence, asked him. what
business he had there and ordered him
to BECOME. The Judge stood his ground
Then the gladiator made pass at him
with his sword to drive him off. The
judge received the sword in his cheese
ddO leu II tuof0 I'LL he QaO Drawn
the mop over the professors face and
smeared him with mud. Another
plunge by the enraged maitre d'armes
resulted similarly, this time the Judge
pok1ng the mop into his eyes. This
operation was repeated third time,
Then the maddened fencing master
dropped his ordinary sword and grab
bed up huge broadsword Thereupon
the Judge said:
Stop, sir! Hitherto, you see, have
only played with you and not attempt
ed to do you harm, but if you come at
me now with the broadsword know
that l will certainly take your life!s'
The master was impressed by the
frmness with which the Judge spoke,
for he dropped the point of his weapon
and exclaimed: who can you bef You
must be either COTE, Whalley or the
devil for there was NO other man In
England that could beat mer'-Boston
Post.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-05
The Saint Pdm Dispatch Taxes It's Own
Medicine.

The SainttPau Dispatch breaches
advertisingyin season and out. 1t is
alwaystell5ng merchantsand munich
palities and other institutions that
advertisingeis the bone and sinew of
business success and prosperity,
furthermore that there. is scarcely
any line ofthuman activity in which
advertising,cannot- be used in some
form and to good advantage.
1t is al pleasure to, note that the
Dispatchsis consistens.
1t takes sits own medicine"
That is-to say it aaNertises.
Readers of this paper may have
noticed that the Dispatch has been
telling the good people Of this town
and vicinity what a good paper the
Dispatch is. We are informed that
the Dispatch has already spent sever
al thousands of dollars in this way in
various papers throughout the state.
1t IS the first paper in the North
west to do this.
Aad the Dispatch has something
to offer.
The best daily in the Northwest
for 35 cents a month" is it's cry but
it does not exploit itself at the ex-
pense of the papers in the smaller
towns.
First subscribe for your HOME
paper, then for the Saint Paul Dis
patch" is it's argument. There are
many reasons why. in order to be
fully informed, the local as we'll as
the metropolitan paper should be
taken. The Dispatch realizes this,
and it's fair and just position in the
matter of recognizing the claims of
the smaller communities and their
institutions is making it many
friends.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-05
He GOT THE TICKET.
A Simple Little Errand That Made a
Lot Of Contraction.

One of the most amusing accidents
imaginable happened to an old gentle
man IN one Of our large eastern Cities
He was asked to buy ticket to fire
mans ball and good naturally COM
Piled The next question was what to
do with It He had two servants,
either Of whom would be glad to use
it. but he did not wish to show favor
ftfsm
Then 1t occurred to him that he might
buy another ticket and give both his
servants pleasure. Not knowing
where the tickets were. sold, he in
quired Of policeman. and the officer
house. So the old gentleman went to
the engine house that evening, but
there was no one tn sight He had nev-
er been In such place before and
stood for moment or SO uncertain
how to make hts presence known.
Presently he saw an electric button
on the side of the roomo and he put his
thumb on 1t.
The effectwas electrical In every sense
Of the word. Through the ceiling,
down the stairs and from every other
direction firemen came running and
falling, the horses rushed out OF their
stalls, and, In short, all the machinery
Of modern engine house was instant
~ In motion,
Amid all this uproar stood the tnno-
cent old gentleman VITO did not s,1s
pect that he had touched the fire alarm
until the men clamored around him for
Information as to the locality Of the
FIRE.
Then he said mildly Il should like to
buy another ticket for the ball, II you
please"
The situation was 40 fudicrous that
there was general shout Of laughter,
and the old gentihman bought his
ticket, and the engine house resumed
It's former state Of a,iet.-Exchange.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-05

ache until you cure the kidney ache.
II the kidneys are we'll anG strong
the rest of the system Is pretty sure
to be IN vigorous health.
DoaRs Kidney Pills make strong,
healthy kidneys.
Mrs. VIM. Montgomery. living at.
533 n. Fifth St.. Sleepy Eye, Mimi,
says: Ever since I had the measles
some % years ago my kidneys have
been in a disordered condition. The
secretions were very profuse and
ANNOYED me during the night Dur
ing the day | was tired and languid
and had a constant feeling of de-
preston. | doctored and doctored
but as | was receiving no relief, /
decided to try Doan's Kidney Pills.
| procured box at drug store and
can say that | received the most
beneficial results. My health is now
better than it has been in years. and
| owe it to the use of Deans Kidney
Pills"
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York. sole agents for the
United States.
Remember the name-Doan's s.
and take no other.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-05
White Ribboners' Work.

i At the annual meeting, nine sup
erintendents gave in reports of work
i done through the year. They were:
Mrs. Chadderdon, for medal con
tests. Several delightful contests
had been held, mainly through the
efforts of her assistant. Miss Cora
Adsit. Mrs. George Whittet report
i ed her efforts to advance the cause
of 'non-alcoholic medication. She
has been trying to secure a public
lecture on the topic, and yet hopes
to have one from F. P. Boyd, M. D.,
who with his father, are strictly non
alcoholic practitioners. These state
ments were received with applause
from the ladies. Mrs. Collins report
ed mothers meetings" The work
had chiefly been done by Mrs. Cow
gill.
Mrs. Fuller gave very good re-
port on Christian citizenship and
enforcement of law"
Mrs Wn. Tiffany as superinteTd-
ent of Jail work was listened to with
interest. Several meetings have
been held, and many who do not be-
long to the Union assist in the SER
vices, for which help the Union is
grateful. It's also grateful TO the
way in which the jail officials receive
them, and help to make the services
a success. The. prisoners had been
furnished with good reading matter
and in some cases a copy of the
Scriptures on leaving the Jail. There
are many encouraging tokens in this
work.
Mrs. John Kuck answered for
flower mission" work, one meeting
held, and a great many bouquets
sent to,the sick and shut-ins.
Mrs. S. E. Brown reported for
Union Signal and Literature. She
has proven herself successful
agent. Through June and July
packages of magazines, papers and
leaflets have been furnished to the
ditching crew weekly.
Mrs. Van Dolah has charge of the
work among woodmen, and sent a
barrel of literature in the winter to
a camp and it was thankfully re-
ceived.
Sabbath Observance Mrs. Lusk
said that she had asked all the pas
tors of the city to preach on this
topic at least once during the sum-
mer. had distributed leaflets, and
held one Sabbath school program.
Mrs. Lusk also answered for press
work, that all the meetings of the
Union had been reported save two.
Through April, June and July
column, or part of a, column had
been supplied weekly to, the local
press, the editors giving their space
whenever possible.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-05
Smells In, Great Cities.

The man with a nose always recog-
nfzes the small Of the place, and he has
only to land at Calais to smell garlic.
Londous smell-when the Londoner
returns-fs just SCOT and fried fish.
Paris always smells Of chocolate and
wood smoke. Florence Is. violets and
sewage. But so soon as you get to
Russia the smell IS quite different
Moscow, the. city Of fruit that comes
from the Crimea, has a special smell
OF the cranberry (which has various
names) In late summer. And you can.
not land In St Petersburg without no
ticin8 instantly the smell Of the place.
london Chronicle.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-05
Pyramids

The largest Of the Mexican pyramids,
that OF Chofula, has base measure
ment Of LASS feet and a height ot IT0
feet The Great pyramid Of Egypt,
sometimes called the pyramid ot Che
ops, stands on base each side Of
which was originally 764 feet long: but
owing to the removal Of the coating It
IS now only 746 fek Its height &c-
cording to Wilkenson was originally
$50 feet 8 Inches, its present height be-
ing AGO feet.-New YORK American
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-05

Sympathy b loving understandable
and the expression Of It helps lot.
Worry y sympathy run to seed and
that doesn't help tn the least.-Londm
Sketch.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-05

It's mighty hard for girl to get
sentimental with man who has fuyt
lost his job.-At1anta Journal.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-05
Feminine intuition.

Hattie I'm positive George l0ves71ne
and wants me to be his wife. Ella
Has be told you so7 Hattie No Int
be has taken such strong dislike 10
mamma. Chicago Tribune.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
MASTERS SALE

State OF Illinois, Alexander County,
SIS, Alexander County Circuit Court
! In the matter Of Peter ADHESION VS.
/ William Akers and Alexander County
B Savings Bank, bill to foreclose mort
gage, and Alexander County Savings
Bank VS.. Peter Adkisson. William
Akors, Charles Rose, and Grace Rose
cross-biI 10 foreclose mortgage In
above entitled cause.
Public notice is hereby given that
in pursuance of a decretal order en-
tered in the above entitled cause In
said court on the 18th day of July, A.
y. 1908, |, Walter Warder, Master in
Chancery for the said court, on. Sat
urday the 29th day of August, A. D.
1908, at II o'clock in the forenoon Of
said day, shall sell for cash at public
auction at the southwesterly door OF
the court house in the city of Cairo. In
said county, the following described
real estate: the South East Quarter OF
the South East Quarter OF Section
Twenty (20), and the North East
Quarter of the North East Quarter OF
Section Twenty-Five (20, Township
Fourteen GH, South Range one ~,
West Of the Third Principal Meridian,
in the County OF Alexander, and State
of Illinois, together with all and singu-
Ian the tenements and hereditaments
tbcreunto belonging.
Dated at Cairo. Illinois, this 9Th day
of August A. u. 1908
WALTER Warbler,
Master in Chancery for the Circuit
Court of Alexander County.
LaIsden & Lansden, Solicitors for
Complainant.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
Preserving the Balance.

A well-known professor Of architec-
ture, commonly referred to as Ham.
my by his pupils. recently told
a story illustrative of the remark
able degree to which certain persons
possess the sense of symmetry.
II seems that there was once a
Scotch gardener who had charge of
a good sized English estate. and
under whose charge the formal garden
al the rear had been laid out with alb
solu's symmetry even she two sum
mer houses. one on each side Of the
garden. being identical in even the
most minute detail On one occa-
sion The Engl,Shmau became angry at
his son locked him up In one Of
th7 summer houses. As soon as the
Scotch gardener heard Of this his
sense Of symmetry was so outraged
that he immediately sent for his own
son and locked him up in the other
summer house to preserve the bal.
aace. "Hammy" neglected to mention
whether both boys we're dressed ex-
7ctly alike. but il is to be presumed
that even this detail was attended to
by the aesthetic SoOtobuesa
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
HER NARRATIVE WITHOUT enc
Court story-TelIer Surely Obeyed the
Kings Command.

The king commanded the court
Btoryteller TO unfold a narrative with
out an end
once on a time there was a huge
building filed with corn, began the
storyteller. AN enormous swarm Of
locusts swooped down on this uemen.
dous edfice and
stop" commanded the king THAT
tale is a bearded chustnut | want
something new; but it must be a story
without an end
The story-teler departed. Several
hours later he returned and was ad-
mitted to the royal presence.
"Oh, most mighty monarch" he be-
gan, Il have found one who can re-
gale you with a story which is devoid
of conclusion"
Produce" cried the king.
The story-teller passed from the
throne-room. but soon returned lie
was accompanied by a woman
Your highness, this lady will tell
n story which has no end, announced
the story-teller.
Then the woman told the king
everything she was going to purchase
when her husband had his salary
raised.
The king was sDin listening. -
Harper's Weekly.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24

accumulation OF gold both here and
-abroad, aud by the ineasticity OF our
currency system, which prevents a
proper contraction of bank notes in
times Of redundancy Attention has
ahealy been called in these adyices
to the extraordinary expansion of over
$3.50, G06,0n0 in our circulation within
twelve months and that nearly 500.
100000 Of this was in gold coin. bull
lion or certificates The European
banks are also carrying a much larger
surplus than a year ago; in fact, tie
whole world is threatened with sur,
felt of the precious metal owing to the
record breaking activities Of the Rand.
The effect of this upon values must
of course be powerfully stimulating
for as we cheapen the standard of
value We inevitably raise the prices of
all commodities and securities.
HENRY CLEWS.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
PUT FETLocks TO GOOD USE.
Trick Of Really Wonderful Mare
Owned by Californian.

Now wait till / tell You" insisted
a man by the counter in the St Fran
els, as told in the San Francisco
Chronicle This horse was part
thoroughbred understood, too small
for the track; picked her up for a
song, you might say Wonderful in
telligenee. You know the fetlock, that
bunch Of hair that grows back of a
horses hoof? Well, Fretful had the
most wonderful fellocks, They grew
right down to the ground, like whisk-
brooms; had to keep EN- cut flush
with the floor, SOS she would not step
on them.
Been missing cube sugar from the
box in the storehouse Set boy to
watch; thought maybe the Chink was
taking supply to Chinatown Pretty
soon Fretful pokes her nose out of the
box stall, pulls ont the wooden peg
comes out, begins backing toward the
storehouse with a funny hula-hula
movement, opened the door lifted box
cover, ate a lot of Jumps, restored
everything, and began backing back,
same wriggling movement.
Guess what she was doing. Using
her fetlocks to brush dust over her
tracks and hide EN-"
Wonderful" observed Clerk V5a
Orden.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
NOTICE TO CONTRACTORS.
Office Of the City Clerk.

Cairo, Illinois, Aug II, 1908.
Public notice Is hereby given that
sealed bids, directed to the City Cour
Gil of the City of Cairo, Illinois, will
/ be received at my office, No. I'LL
| Commercial avenue, in said city Of
Cairo up to the time Of the next regu.
lar meeting of the city council of the
said city, which meeting will be held
at the Council Chamber. No. iii
Commercial avenue. in said city. at
1880 p. m. on Tuesday, the first day of
September. 1908. for the repair Of the
levee embankment and street pave
ment and the construction of a core
wall at Tenth and Ohio sereets. in
said city, according to the written
specifications therefor now on file in
my office.
All bids must be accompanied with
good and sufficient bond, payable to
the City Of Cairo, in the sum of One
Thousand 10000 Dollars. conditioned
for the doing and completion Of the
said work in a good and workman
like manner and for the furnishing
of the necessary labor, tools and ma
terials required TO do said work, in
accordance with the terms and pro-
visions Of the said specifications
The city reserves the right to re-
iect any and all bids.
BY order of the City CunCil OF the
City of Cairo, Illinois.
ROBERT 4. HATCHER.
City Clerk.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24

Deaf as an adder" taken from the
deaf adder that stoppeth her ears in
the Psalms, is founded on an oriental
superstition that serpent presses one
ear to the ground while covering the
other with it's Italian acrobatic feat
that might stump even the wisdom Of
serpent, since snake has no exter-
nal ear.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
Baby's Robe,

! had constant trouble in keeping
the laprobe up well around my baby
while she rode in her buggy and tried
this scheme: Near the top edge Of
the robe about four inches either side
Of the center | tackled a tape long
enough to tie easily around bahy's
waist ! tie these tapes after she sits
down in her buggy and have no
more trouble with the robe slipping
down.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
TO KILL THE pANDRuFF GERM.
Is the Only Possible Way Of Havfn6
Al Effective Cure -Ht

II you see woman or a man with lug
uriant glossy hair you may be sure neil
Their has dandrufr to amount to anything.
In nearly every case where women and
men have thin brittle hair they owe IL
to dandrun. There are hundreds of prep
arations that claim" to cure dandraT
but not one but Newbro's Herpicide tel
you that dandrufr is the result OF a geTL.
burrowing into tie scalp, and thnt peri
manent cure of dandruf and Its conse-
qnent falling and badness, can only be
had by killing the germ; and there is no
other preparation that will destrar that
germ but Newbro's Herpicide Destroy
the cause, and you remove the effect"
Sold by leading druggists. Send l0s. in
stamps for sample 10 The Herpicide Co..
Detroit Michf
TWO siges--50 cents and y1.oe.
Paul G. Schulz & Sons, Special Agents
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
Now the piaholo Girl.

The diaholo girl Is the latest craze
and will no doubt furnish copy" for
The illustrators Of advertisements inst
IS her predecessor, the golf girl. has
done for several wears. But the came
itself does not suggest Itself as read
iiv az did crCiuet AID il win probably
be long time before Ii 10 generally
played
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
Fad for Sheffield Plate

Many women are collecting Shelf cid
plate, which is silver on copper, and as
none has been manufactured for more
than half a century it is worth Hore
Than solid silver. The pieces are very
beautifully decorated, and unlike old
china If is really worth collecting. as
its value increases with age and il
cannot be broken like china.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
Strawberries and Lettuce

Make cups Of the white heart leaves
of crisp lettuce by crossing the stem
ends Pile a few big red strawberries
in the center of each cup. and dust
with powdered sugar. Put a tea
spoonful Of mayonnaise dressing on 4
leaf of each cup.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
a Tnaat-

To those who passed me on the
Highway and gave greeting, and whom
/ shall never meet again; to the pos
sible friends Who came nv way. and
whose eyes fingered as they fell on
mine-may they eyer be eager with
youth and strong glth fellowship: may
they never miss a welcome nor want
a comrade.-Anna Strunsky.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
ILLINOIS CENTRAL
Spi tNtCu " NNr uoI Ahtt IJpo'
THE FAST MAIL ROUTE
Trains Leave Cairo:

THE FAST MAIL ROUTE
Trains Leave Cairo:
1882 a. M. Daily Chicago Vestibulo
Limited, arriving Chicago 1880 a. MI
2:23 a. m. Daily st. Louis Night
Limited, arriving st Louis 7:08 3. N
Sleeping car open at $3.50 p. m.
500 a, m. Chicago Daylight Express
except Sunday.
500 i. m. st, Louis MorRing sx
press, except Sunday.
1t:15 2. m. St Louis Fast Mail.
11:t5 a. m. Chicago Midday Special
2:35 p. m. Daily St. Louis Limited
2:35 p. m. Afternoon Express fol-
0din Effingham, Nation, Champaign
$50 .. m. Thebes Accommodation
7:15 p. m Chicago and Eastern Tx,
,rega.
s:ss n. N. Memphis and Nashville
SIS r. N, Memphis and Nav Or
~AnH Limited.
500 .. ~. Psducsh and Louisville
i:4i e. rn Daily Menphls ara Nsu
1rlesHa.
1:<t q. m. Daily Nashville, Chstts
looga and Atlanta.
$50 .. m. Fulton Accommodation
$3.50 p. N. Paducah and Lcuisvilla.
800 Q. m. Memphis and New Or
ieans Special
For through tickets. sleeping ear
accommodations spd further informs
ion apply at Illinois Central Pssssa
Ter Station. Cairo, III
J. n. JONES. Ticket kssnt
3 4. HATCH. G. p. \.
\ n. AAhaoN. Pass. Traffic esss.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
Stocks - Bonds " Cereals

IMPORTS AND EXPORTS FOR JULY SMALLEST
THERE HAS BEEN A STOCK EXCHANGE Ac.
TWITY DUE LARGELY PROFIT TAKING TEMPORARY ABB
sENcE OF SPECULATIVE LEADERs-cRops ARE GooD-uNus
UAL EASE IN MONEY MARKET OF THE IMPORTANT FAC.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24

The Bulletin win only cost you CO
cents per mouth and II Is certainly
forth double the monsy.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
Va
Our Wife Save:

Eve shonld have been model wife:
anyway, she was dressed like q model
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
LOST.

LOST-Siyer medal bearing in
scriptton First Prize for Oratory
etc Finder please return to Mrs. c
II. Johnson, 225 18th street.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
WAN
HELP WANTED-FEMALE,

WANTED LADY cashier to work a,
night. Must have first class refer.
ences as to ability and character. Ad-
dress in own handwriting, Night, -
this office.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
OFFICERS

Accounts Of corporations and rndiv,d.
uals especially solicited. Exchange
furnished to any part OF the world.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
OFFICERS


fstsrsss PAID sn Time Deposits
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24
Alexander
County National
Bank
Commercial Avenue ana Eighth sfrsss
CAIRO. ILLINOIS.

Capital ....-....- ....s~. .sfoo,ooc
Surpfus ......--.. .ss..... fO0,oW
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24

For freight and Passass apply ~
Halliday q PHILIPPE whsrfhoat.. Cairo.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-08-24

FOR RENT-House at 217 Third
The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1908-06-06

Hodgson & Graham, the enterpris'
ing Richardson merchants. are using
the most attractive and effective sta.
tionery of any mercantile firm in the
county. In the upper left hand cor
ner is a miniature map of Lopez isl.
and, printed in red. and below it to
the left Of a red marginal line. is q
brief description Of Lopez island-its
location, area. climate. rainfall. re-
sources and advantages. 1t is print
ed on fine quality Of crash linen pa
per and is fine advertisement OF Lo-
pez island. The idea is one that
might be very advantageously follow
ed by every business man in the coun-
ty, and by farmers, also. 1t would
result in attracting widespread atten-
tion to the county and would doubt
less be the means Of bringing many
new people as permanent settlers in
the various localities thus advertised.
HodRson & Graham have had print
ed and have distributed free hundreds
of fine maps Of Lopez island and they
have done much in other ways to ad-
vertise the resources and advantages
of that fertile and attractive portion
Of the county.