The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-05-03
.SHAO IS AN OGRE
THAT SHORTENSL LIFE.
SAYS MINISTER WI
Chinese Envoy Flags
Food Provided by
His Hosts.
Expects to Live 200
Years on Diet of
Vegetables


spurning the aggressive methods
usually attributed to him. His Most
Serene Exccllency, WI TIGgfane. zss-
tcrday attacked shaG al lie annual
shad bake OF tie Burnside Post. q. a.
r.. ard twisted that agcnlzed pisca-
torial delicacy by the tail uatH it sput-
tered with modification and outraged
pride.
I abhor shad, !" was his mildest com
ment
Meat and sha1 and other fishes and
fowls and feshes are the root Of all
human ills" said lie With as much en-
phasis as his benign and pleasant ma
ture would permit.
There was nothing left unsaid that he
could think Of he heapeI humorous
oPprobrium upon the outra ged body OF
the shad He revlled lis hea'th-eiving
properties and deSpised it for a moOkery
which would shorten mems lives By
momentarily seeking q please their
palates.
Presents the "wny One"
When the dinner had been finished.
( DR.. A. J. HuntOon, with many flOurishcs
and bows and figures OF speech. intro
duced the ",'ily One" 70 the assembled
guests. The minister smiled L have
I said he, had delightful meal; but I
have not had much variety. I do not eat
FISH; but ! picked up a little crumb
here and there. like the poor man dln-
ing at the rich mans table.
Two years ago. he continued We
49, L..
flesh. fowl and fish. Now I eat nothing
but simple vegetables. and 1 am we'll
I have suffered Oh. how 1 have suT-
fered. from that awful disease. sciatica
Ny disease got so that it acted as a
barometer. II was such a good bar0me-
ter that ! threw away every other one
had in the house
1T would he a lovely clear day. when
suddenly my leg would feel as though
IL desired to part with me forever IL
would develop Jumping. hopping pains.
and ] would become angry. Then I
knew that IL would rain soon"
At this point the minister stopped for
short time to explain that IL was not
his sciatic nerve IN his neither limb that
rained.
My sciatica." he continued. never
failed me. II always truthfully fore
told the weather. But this DID nos
help my feelings"
Then came the crash. His excellency
went for the shad. the poor. defenseless
shad in q manner positively brutal. He
segregated Il. he picked IL bone from
bone. and held It up IN all its ha!low-
hess. II was a mockery. 1t was an i'm
position.
Now. good friends" said he. follow
my example and give up the shad and
the meat. and the fowl. Come back 10
I the simple life.
Expects ito Live 400 Years.
7 do not like to confess my age. but
I will tell you hat since 1 have re-
/ nounced shad ! have fell like a fifteen
year-old boy ] will live TO be 200 years
old: not year less; not a day less
will live TO see the young men who live
on tarrapin and wine buried
Give up shsd; give up meat. and
you. too. will I've to be 200 years old.
You will live, and I want you TO live
to keep me company. When 1 get 20
be $50 years old, I want some men. old
in experience but young in feeling, to
| be ny friends and comrades.
Live simply and grow young. That
| is my doctrine. Then. Il you wives die,
marry young ones, and get still younger.
| Don't give up. Be a vegetarian and
grow optimistic. 1t is with you, that
your own salvation rests"
Fully two hundred veterans OF the
! civil war and their wives rallied around
the flag at the shsd bake. Dr. HuntOOn
acted as toastn,asteT. The doctor for
years has been acting in the same
| capacity, and his opening speech
| punctuated by irregular bangs uF0n the
table with a knife, was murmu-ed by
! half Of the veterans present The Rev
Henry y. Couden was the first SPEAKER
| introduced. His address, consisting
principally of "reminiscences, was dev0t-
! ed 10 a plea for the furthering Of the
fraternal spirit in the Grand Army.
Others Make Speeches.
Commander Deem. OF Burnside Post
Tread the record Of the organization for
the past year. Gen. John c. Black.
president OF the Civil Service Commits
sion. spoke for a short time on the
| principles involved in the civil war.
| Coming back on the boat the old vet
| Grams gathered upon the deck and sang
| their time-worn battle hymns. Their
| voices were feeble at first, for what man
| OF sixty can develop the lung power ne
| had two decades before? But as they
sang, their eyes frightened and their
voices strengthened. and. when the trip
/ finally came 10 an end. and the boat
/ slowly steamed into Washington. they
\ made the woods ring with that song.
| made familiar n the stirring times of
| war:
Then we'll raIl,. round the fac boys
I'VE rally once again,