davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22
Fruit.

Two young people of Plum Grove,
this county were married recently.
The two from Plum Grove became a
pair, although he no doubt thought
her a peach.-Hale (Mo.) Hustler
Leader.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22
To Name Delegates.

Phoenix, Ariz., Aug. pa repub-
llcan nominee for delegate to congress
from Arizona will be named. by the
territorial convention which met here
this morning.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22
Red Wing Coming,

Red Wing, Mimi, Aug. 22.-Many
former residents Of Red Wing are
here to take part in the homecoming
celebration, which will be in progress
during the next three days.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22
Nominate congressman.

Waco, Tex, Aug. 22.-R. L. Henry
was nominated as the democratic
candidate for congress from the
Eleventh Texas district at the con-
vention held here today.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22

Foley's Kidney Remedy will cure
any case Of kidney or bladder trou-
BILE that is not beyond the reach OF
medicine. No medicine can do more.
Pendleton Drug Company.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22
Churche S
Christian Science.

Congregational church, corner Webb
and Johnson streets; Church service
at IL A. NJ; Subject of lesson sermon;
Mind. Wednesday meeting at s
p NJ.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22
s|DEuGHTS OF NEW YORK'S HISTORY

serve to prove that men are the orig
inal easy marks when they go shop
ping.
"Are men more successful shop
pers than women?" shifted the buyer
to whom had addressed the ques-
ton. "well. not so you could notice
it. Here's an example," he said,
pointing out in an advertisement of
the store the following cryptic de-
scription Of feminine government:
made of best quality muslin, wide
umbrella ruffle, deep hem and three
embroidered tucks, specially priced
at % cents"
The buyer continued: I'VE have in
stock a similar garment for men,
containing no more or no better ma
terial and costing not so much in the
workmanship. Yet it sells regularly
for IS cents, and is never priced be-
low SO cents"
Responding to my question as to
the reason for this unjust disparity
in prices, he said:
There isn't any reason. except that
the manufacturers or mems garments
charge more and make bigger prof.
its, because the men are easy marks
and will stand for 1t. If women were
regular patrons of saloons, do you
think they would pay Is cents for
little swig of whiskey that costs less
than a fourth of that sum7 Not for
minute. Everything that is soid
exclusively to men commands a high
er price than it would if women were
also its purchasers. Men shrewd
shoppers? oh, fudge"
/ All of which is Illuminating. If not
exactly calculated to add to mascu-
line conceit
A just Judge.
There is at least one judge in New
York and he has rendered a decision
which must be hailed with delight
throughout the country, as establish
ing a righteous precedent
Can a man be legally forced to pay
for a cup of coffee which contains a
pestiferous fly? Answer: He can
not. So says the law, as interpreted
by the just judge aforesaid.
It was a highly indignant restau-
rant proprietor who appeared in po-
lice court and accused a well-dressed
young man of larceny in falling to
produce a nickel for cup of coffee
the latter had ordered.
Questioned by the magistrate, the
grub dispenser admitted that a fly
had fallen into the coffee after it
had been served, but declared volubly
that it wasn't his fault and that he
was not supposed TO protect custom
ers from ihquisitive insects.
Then the culprit was heard in de-
fense. He alleged that he would
have entered no objection If only one
modest, well-behaved fly had used
his coffee cup as swimming pool. He
asserted. however, that no less than
three had taken a dip into the surf
at his expense and that he entertain
ed strenuous objection to maintaining
a miniature Coney island for the ben
eft Of the restaurant proprletor's in
sects.
The objection was maintained byl
the Judge and the accused walked
forth free man. And the learned
and just Judge has earned the respect
of all honest men, except restaurant
proprietoTs
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22
The Church of the Redeemer.

There will be a celebration of the
Holy Communion tomorrow morning
at 1880 o'clock, Sunday school at 10
4. NJ.
Divine service at IL A. NJ. to P. NJ,
The public is cordially invited.
Charles Quincy, Rector.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22

DeWitts Little Early Risers. safe,
easy, pleasant. sule. little liver pills.
Sold by Tallman & Co.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22
Maternity Ward.

Opened at st. Anthony's hospital
maternity ward Ward charges,
$3.50 per day. Private room charges
range from 50 up per day.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22
Easy Marks.

Humorlsts Of the daily press fire.
ouently take occasion to pass sar-
castle remarks upon the - bargain
hunting proclivities Of the fair sex,
incidentally duplicating that men are
superior as shrewd shoppers. hesi-
tate 10 blast so fond an illusion, yet
the recitation OF a single instance,
pointed out to me by the buyer of a
big New York department store, will
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
owls Killed by Own Images.

Hawks dashing at a bird ON the
ground will forget to put on their
brakes in time to prevent a fatal
collision with the earth, and the
same result occurs when they Try to
overhaul small bird in the vicinity
of a wall.
For barn owls there is no contriv-
ancc more perilous than an open wa.
ter tank near farm buildings round
which these useful birds are wont
to forage for rats and mice.
Seeing it's own image reflected i'm
the moonit water, the owl imagines,
apparently this is an acquaintance,
finds a watery grave.
knew man who took four young
jays from their nest. reared them till
they could feed themselves. and had
become very tamc-CyCry one Of the
four got drowned" three while eX.
sells, the fourth actually managed tn"
deed I'm a saucer, so intoxicated was ii
with the joy of bathing
Small birds are not inlrCqucntly to
be found hanging dead by nest build
ing materials, and sometimes during
toilet operations they get their head
and neck fatally locked between the
stiff quilts of their wing feathers.
wonder how many hundreds Of
young phcsauts annually find death in
the mpshcs of wire netting? Even
though they are we'll able to fly over
obstacles ten times it's height, little
phcasauts are so utterly devoid of
"gumption" that they will try to jump
through netting, taking not the slight.
est warning from the bodies of broth.
crs and sisters who have hanged them.
selves thus Minneapolis Journal
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
The Lady and the Conductor.

Give me transfer, conductor" 4"
said mild looking woman on a
Madison avenue car.
why didn't YOU ask for il be.
tore?' growled the conductor.
Il forgot to.
And now you want me TO forgel
the rules of the company by giving
YOU one?"
Amt he fresh" commented n
young girl who was wearing one OF
hose wide brimmed hats which be.
Gin on the apex of the pompadour
and end somewhere near the small OF
The back. They're all fresh, and
1obody says.anything to them. But
[ heard a lady the other day giving
conductor rats She called him
everything she could think OF. and
'he kept IL up for half an hour. |
VAS glad to hear her, for ladies don't
)ften tell a conductor just what he is.
Some OF them don't have the Lam
guage. Aut this lady had Il all
light. Pas a longshoreman. but |
never heard him do better. e. Ncw
York Press.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
Chinese Studying Languages.

"China is doing more to advance
herself in the educational way than
ever before" said Wu Ting Seng, a
dealer in raw silks and tobacco. OF
Shanghai, China. There is any num-
ber of colleges in Shanghai where
English is taught. and this is also
true OF four universities in and
around the same city. The people
If my land. and more particularly
the students, are anxious To learn the
language. and are taking to the work
all over the country. In addition to
the colleges and universities, there
are hundreds OF missions where boys
and girls are taught to talk as you do
In this country. Even the coolies. the
laboring men around the hotels and
public stations, who come in contact
With the travelling tourists, have
picked up parts OF the language. and
one would be surprised how we'll they
could get along in Shanghai. although
they may not be able 10 speak orr
tongue. Washington Herald.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
Bottom Of san Francisco Bay.

What melancholy sight the bottom
of San Francisco BAY must present, \
diver recently told me Of going down
to the city of Chester, sunk many
years ago at the mouth Of the harbor
hy one of the large China steamers.
lie descended with stout heart and
mind Injured to the tragedies of the
sea. but when he saw two sisters or
charity sleeping quietly In their
berths. and. near by. a man on his
knees. swayiug back and forth with
the motion of the tide, and dim, mys
tcrious light over all the somber OBJ
iccts. his heart failed him. and he
gave the signal TO be hauled above.
The San Rafael lies there. too. She
went down i'm 1901, sent to the bottom
bv a collision with another steamer
I'm the fog. The relentless tide runs
over her cozy cabins aud beautiful
stairway, dank with the passage OF
time.
And there lie. also. caught in the
seaweed the City Of Rio Janeiro. the
Escambia. the May Flint. and the Ca
leb Curtis, the last pilot boat sunk
in binding fog. Truly the bottom
Of the bay Is paved with memories
San Francisco Call.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
&zSIS2SN2iEss2sEssE sEsssSS-S
VHINTS FOR THE \
( l1OUSEkEEPER, j
&SSs.1ll<ONAS&EaS

When coal is red it is nearly
burned out.
When washing drop a small piece
OF orris root in the boiler and the
clothes will have a delicate scent.
Use a piece OF velvet or velveteen
for busting ribbons, hat and other
articles OF silk. 1t is far better than
brush.
To keep a fire several hours shake
out the ashes, fill with coal, close
the dampers and partially open the
slide above the fire.
When washing kitchen rag carpets
starch them with starch left over
on wash day. They will lie on the
floor like new carpets.
To clean light kid slippers put
one-half an ounce OF hartshorn in
saucer. dip a bit of clean flannel in
1t and rub on a piece OF white soap.
An excellent and simple method OF
making a lamp throw a good, clear
light is TO place a small lump OF gum
'amphor in the receptacle with the
iii.
In making a fire, be sure that the
crate is quite clean. and the ash
an emptied and cleared from cin-
.ers and ashes SO that there will be
free circulation Of air.
lmmerse piece OF chamios in cold
water, wiring out we'll and rub over
woodwork. III any scratches appear
spply a little linseed oil with finger
tip. after which polish with dry
,hamois. and result will be very sat
isfactory.
To protect the Dashboard OF the
piano large sheet OF cardboard
should be placed in front OF 1t when
the little girl is practicing. She is
apt TO swing her feet as she sits on
The high stool and kick unsightly
spiotches in the fine polish.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
Bootblackinq Msqnates.

1t is estimated that Cbicagoans
spend more than $3O0,O a year in
keeping their boots and shoes pol
ished. OF this amount 100000 repre-
sents the profit of the business \
big downtown shop that pays Sl00 4
month rent and hires the most eXpe-
rienced Eolishers will net its proprie-
tor from $4,000 to $4,000 a year
The quality Of the work performed
has undergone a change for the better
during the expansion and organization
of the business. Nowadays a man has
to work up to become an expert shoe
polisher and command the highest
wages in the best shops A first class
polisher is paid SIS a month. Boys
are paid from 81 to SS week. This
is one calling in which there is no
union or affiiiation with organized la
Dor. \ few years ago one was at.
tempted. but it failed in its inception.
Arthur Sears Henning in The Amer
ican Business Man.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
HOmp-NIaue Candy

Opera creams are simply fudge
with a slight variation. Instead of
stirring the syrup until it grains while
hot, it is cooled, then beaten and
wrapped in balls on waxed paper. A
good recipe for this fudge: Put one
cupful Of sugar and one-half cupful
of milk in a saucepan. and when it
boils stir in square of unsweetened
chocolate, grated Cook until the
syrup spins thread when dropped
from spoon or forms a soft ball
when dropped in cold water; then
take from the fire, add a teaspoonful
of vanilla extract and teaspoon
full of butter, and beat with a spoon
until it begins to thicken. Then
turn into shallow buttered pans and
when hard enough mark into
squares. .--Pittsburg Dispatch.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
ne Flea Question.
by ELLIS q. JONES.

And 10 came 20 pass that the feas
| became unbearable. So much time
and energy had 10 be spent in scratch
ing that little opportunity was left
for other work. Accordingly a mighty
convention OF dogs was assembled,
consisting OF delegates from all the
races OF dogs.
This Is an important question, ="
said the Great Dane. who was chair
man Of the convention. my plan
would be 10 pass a law requiring all
dogs 10 cut their hal! short, so that
the bites may be the more easily
scratched"
THAT is not necessary" said the
ST. Bernard. who was proud OF his
shaggy coat, and besides we need
our hair in the winter time | think
we should appoint a committee to
confer with a similar com mittee from
the heas. We can thus undoubtedly
make an arrangement by which they
will not bite so hard or so often"
Alas" said the Poodle, I'VE should
try 10 find remedy that would make
us immune from flea bites. If it can.
not be found. we should be satisfied
with our lot"
THAT won't do at ALL" said the
Collie. The nea traffic must Ger.
tainly be regulated. / am inclined to
think 1t would be best 10 fine them.
No, that would only make them
bite the harder" objected the Span.
inI ha
tive TO imprison them"
THAT would be all right" said the
Pug, but they are too hard to catch
and too hard 10 keep after they are
caught. II would be much better to
pass law limiting the number OF
fleas 10 each dog" "
Friends" said the Dachshund. 81
am as much interested in this subject
as you, but some of YOU statements
cause me no little concern. for there
is a tendency on the part Of all the
speakers to overlook the vested rights
of the feas"
me too" said the Skye. who suf-
fcred none from fes because his mis-.
tress and two maids labored constant.
~ to keep them away. Il think you
are going too far"
You fellows make me tired" said
the Fox Terrier, with your silly
twaddle about regulation and yOur
diIettante ineffective compromises
There is only one way to deal with a
flea, and that is to Kill him"
When the fleas heard this they be-
gan 10 bite as hard as they could,
which made the dogs frantic. Where
upon they denounced the Fox Terrier
as revolutionist and drove him from
the hall in short order.-Life.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
BAD Company.

A Scotsman was brought before q
London magistrate on the charge OF
being drunk and disorderly.
What have you 10 say for your
self sir?" demanded the magistrate
Indignantly. You look like a re-
spectacle man, and ought TO be
ashamed TO stand there"
Il am yerra sorry. sir. but | cam
up in bad company fra Glasgow"
humbly replied the prisoner.
What sort of company"
"A lot OF teetotallers." wa. the
startling response.
DO YOU mean to say teetotallers
are bad company" exclaimed the
magistrate in surprise. Il think they
are the beS of company for such as
you
"Beggin' yer pardon. SIR" an
,wered ne prisoner. we're wrong.
For had a bottle of whuskey an
1ad to drink IL all myself. San
francisco Call.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
HrOiled Oysters.

Select large oysters. Drain them
on cloth or napkin, turning them
from side to side 10 make them as
dry as possible. Meanwhile soften
some butter and season some crack
er crumbs with salt and pepper.
Then, holding each oyster on a fork,
dip It into the crumbs, then into the
melted butter, and again into the
crumbs. Arrange them in an oyster
broiler (Which differs from ordinary
broiiers by having the wires closer
together and broil over a hot fire
for about two minutes, turning the
broiler every few seconds. They
should not be shrivelled, but plump,
soft, tender and juicy.-New
World.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
Honey Nut Sandwiches.

These are a dainty delicacy for
afternoon tea. To make them, have
jar Of strained golden honey. some
finely chopped walnuts. almonds, Pc
cans that were blanched before chop.
ping and a number Of the small
raised quick biscuits that may be
found in any first-class caterers
After heating these by placing them
In the oven in a closely covered pan
FIRST brushing each one over the top
with milk or water, split each one
and spread with the honey, with
which has been mixed the nuts, in
the proportion of one tablespoonful
OF chopped nuts to each two table
spoontuls of the honey.-New York
World.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
AIR UINDERS AUTOS.
Speed Kept Down by Force of At.
mOSphcric Resistance.

Were it not for the resistance OF
the air the automobiles would be
able to attain an almost incredible
speed, SO greatly has the skill of the
maChinist reduced the resistance due
to the friction OF the parts of the ma
chine, Says "A European authority:
"A man who can drive his machine
under present conditions through the
air at sixty miles an hour would. IL
road and machine resistance only had
TO be met, be able to drive at 660
miles an hour. This shows the very
essential part that making plays
I'm automobile racing. where an auto
ear just i'm front of the racer will
make such a draught as 10 materially
reduce the enormous resistance. and
also shows the danger OF one car
passing another at fun speed
The writer would like to propose
method TO enable great speeds to
be attained. which. however. is OF
spurious interest since in real auto
MODELLING the wind resistance must
be overcome. 1t would be 10 have
wind shield So great that it could lie
managed by a very powerful machine.
The amount Of energy required by
The machine trailing after the wind
shield could then be an index OF the
resistance OF the ain
Another suggestion offered more
seriously where record breaking
without pace. which is the rule any
how, is made, is to choose day
when the barometer is very low. for
fall of an inch. if il reduced the re-
sistance by one-thirtieth, might mean
gain of second in minute, or o
minute in an hour"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
"kartofel SaIat."
ter

The ingredients are one dozen
small boiled potatoes (cold), one
quarter pound Of bacon, two onions,
small piece Of bacon (for frying)
parsley, French dressing (oil. vine
gar, pepper, salt, chopped parsley
and very little mustard. Cut the
one-quarter pound OF bacon in small
dice and fry (not too brown, mix
ing both bacon and fat with the
salad. This is prepared an hour be-
fore luncheon or tea and we'll chilled
in the ice box. Serve with hot but
tered crackers, sprinkled literally
With paprika. New York World.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
Hunt For Il Haneman.

The British army was once in diff
culties through the lack Of a hang
man. Murder was committed by a
soldier in the Crimea, but nobody
could be found to carry out the sen.
tence of the court-martial. It was
nnounCed that $40 and a free dis.
charge would be granted TO the man
undertaking the task. At last a man
did volunteer. He was a newcomer
to the arm. On the night prior to
the date fixed for the execution they
locked up the hangman in a stable
TO keep him safe. In the morning
the party at the gallows waited, but
there was no hangman. lie had gone
mad during the night or else he was
now Stimulating madness. The officer
in command turned to one of his
captains with, Captain. you have
the goodness to hang the prisoner. ="
The captain changed countenanCe o.
but he pulled himself together and
appealed to the sergeants with,
Which of YOU will hang this man?"
And to spare his captain, one of the
men volunteered. He afterwards had
the satisfaction OF logging the man
who had volunteered and failed.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10

some hot water; bring him in promptly
at 5. and by that time I'll be ready TO
! take him"
A few minutes after Dickerby was
! led into the nursery and introduced to
the baby. ~4hat individual was in no
amiable mood The absence OF his
mother had not heightened his spirits
20 any appreciable extent. He had
what is technically known as a
"grOuch."
Dickerby did his best, but all his ef-
forts seemed purpOseless Every few
moments Flora was Obliged 10 respond
TO his ardent cries.
I'm afraid" she said at last, that
III have TO give up those curtains.
And. by the way. you didn't half take
those rugs out, and as for the pictures,
why, they are strewn all over the floor.
Don't you even know how to hold
baby?"
Dickerby got up. He was tired TO
death and nervous.
NO" he said "and don't propose TO
learn. I'm glad we've tried this exper-
iment for ! realize as husband I'm
a failure. None Of II for me. I've had
enough. | shall still continue 10 love
you, Flora, all the days of my life.
But | see now that IL won't do. / don't
know anything about rugs or pictures
or babies, or anything else about
house, and | don't propose to learn"
He dragged himself 10 the door.
"Goodby Flora" he said, feebly. II
must leave you forever"
But before he could get outside a pair
OF tWdy feminine arms were about his
neck. Flora had hastily placed the
baby in the crib and gone TO the res
cue.
30 you mean all that, dear?' she
asked.
II certainly do"
"YouIl never raise a finger TO do a
thing
Never"
She claspcd him TO her.
Don't you see" she cried, that
you're just the man? | simply can't
wait 10 marry you"
Dickerby gasped.
"Do You mean to say, hc cried, that
you still wish me to be your husband -
on any tcrms?'
And she laughed back:
II most certainly do, for now know
that you'll let me alone 10 DO just as
| please in my own house. Chester
ton Todd, in Life CNew York;.