The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-12-22
DRIFTWoOD

H D k I r " O0D
 When Congress convenes again af- ter the holidays. there is going to be noise not unlike the exploding of Roosevelt by way of retort attacks the private life Of some of those Congress- men, and they come back at him, which will. of course. call forth the full blt- terness and vituperation of Teddy's un- goyernable wrath.
 Teddy seems to be working himself up to the proper temperament for an African lion hunt.
 If this thing keeps up. The Ananias Club will soon be strong enough to put out Presidential candidate that could defeat any opposition party on earth,
 The Army is now getting itself in a position to be srandalized anent the Hains trial.
 A certain Montgomery girl asked her best fellow, last night If he thought opals were unlucky. Very gallantIy he replied that he thought they certainly were when adorning any. other girls finger but hers. Then there was sound as of lips moving in oscillation. Never Grow old Club has been, or Eanized at Garnett. Kansas. IComposed exclusively of women. we presume.l
 4- A New York plumber has eloped with a woman worth half a million dollars. When this sorI of pipe dream comes true any plumber ought to be happy. Some men get wheelF in their heads at different intervals in their lives. hut Hayti las revolutions all the time.
  The London News says; "Mr. James S. Palmer. Vice President-elect of the United states. may possibly look for ward to filling one day the position of fame means to a Viee-Presideut
 Friday is the day.
 Everything ripens quickly in heated atmosphere, says scientist. However it doesn't seem to have that effect up- on the truth when hot air is issuing from the lips.
 A Washington State man married a Richmond blonde the other day after a .six-minute courtship. What is the matter with the Richmond men that her 'sstar- eyed blondes" are forced to jump at a proposal likt a black bass going after a minnow?
 Tho main thing now in the Hains trial is to select what particular brand of insanity will have the most effect upor the jury.
 Even our near relatives can be very distant at times.
 Men take little htes at sentiment as though they are ashamed somebody is looking; women feed on 1t, slowly, bountifully and do not care If the whole world sees.
 A girl isn't so anxious to make name for herself as she IS to accept some mans; her chief goal being the altar
 Many women engaged in big deals the past season. They didn't? oh. yes. they did-remember how they purchaS- ed merry widow lids'
 There is plenty of change in the weather these last few shopping days, but what the most of us want is plenty the expenses of Christmas shopping When Mir. Roosevelt's boat sails for Africa 1t will probably be propelled by wind.
 wonder if the fact that Alabama leads all Southern States In the value of mineral products for the year 190s, according to late statistics, will bring forth paragraph from the fertile brain of George Bailey. of The Hous- ton Post?
 Did you ever stop to ponder
 Or wonder much thereat? Today we call 'em neckties
 While our grandad said 'cravatf
 A woman up East smiled the other day when run over by an automobile. k,.va |. rsN Raaa sex. however. as they get so accustom- ed to little thing like that in bar gain counter rushes
 When the Heart Is Young. When the heart is young. what do we That fiecks of snow are in our hair. That Father Time has led us on. From childhood days now dead and What do we care that the birds have Their Sweetest. so the heart is young7 What do we care. when lips still laugh At the merry quip and the foolish chan. When the Christmas bells ring out so What do we care when their song we Ho, ho. oid Father Time, you'd cheat Us out of the very food we eat. But you shall not do it, your scythe is Away from us, when the heart is young As long as the heart is full of joy The oldest man Is the youngest boy, In the halls of life when the motto
 hung,
 Is BE CONTENT" the heart stays
 young.
 P. H. A.
 
 Mir Taft listened to a prohibition ser mon in Augusta Sunday. Oh, his nibs Is having a lively" old time In Aus gusta.