The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1908-11-26

Oiu 0tutleman--Aisd II you udQ nv
hundred dollars and multiplied It b,
two. what would you get7 Boy
'NautmobiIe .-Harper's Weekly.
Teacher-Parse court" Pupil.
Court" verb. active. Indicative mood
present tense, and agrees with all tn,
girls in the MISUNDERSTANDING.
Father-Got fall. did your Well.
hope you didn't cry like a baby. Son
No. dad. l didn't cry. / Just said one
word-the same as you'd have said
Punch.
what sort OF looking chap Is Gus
syY "Well. II you ever see two mer
In corner and one looks bored &c
death. the other one is Gussy.
Opinion.
Mother (crossly) -TOmmy, haven't
told you you must not talk when am
talkingi Tommy-But. mamma, you
won't let me stay up after you go to
bed Sketch.
do you think be can afford to keep
an auto7" "He ought TO. He's been
an amateur photographer for three
years and that didn't break him."-De-
'roit Free Press.
StraLger-Been a cyclone or al
earthquake round here recently on
-Naw-thls byer's a college town.
an ne OF the students had a birthday
party.-Harper's Weekly.
Afistress-Now, remember, Bridget.
the Joneses are coming for dinner.
cook-Leaye II 20 me. mum. I'll do
me worst They'll never trouble yez
again ILLUSTRATED Bits.
you say you acted like a perfect
lady throughout -sure. yer honor {;
when he tips his hat TO me an me not
KNOWN him. ! ups with a rock an
caves In his ace"-Houston Post
Medium (impressively) - It's the
spirit OF your late husband. madam
He wishes to speak with you. Mrs
Peck-It can't be poor Henry; he
never had no spirit-Boston Tran
script.
Teacher-what is II. Tomf Tom
Jimmy's swearing. Teacher-What
did he say7 Tom-well. marin. II you
say over all the cuss words you know.
III tell you when you come TO it.
Kansas City Star.
The American -trotter-Talk
about travelling. Why. IN America
trains 20 so fast that II takes two PEG
Pile 10 talk about 'em-one TO say
Here she comes and the other to
say. There she goes."-The Sketch.
Mrs o'Hoolihan-Thls payer says
there do be sermons In sthones. Phwhat
d. yez think ar thots 0'Hoolihan-oi
dunno about the sermons. but many
good ar-rgument has COON cut av q
brick. Ofm thlnkin'-chIcago News
Il tell you." said sInnick. men are
getting so deceltful these days that you
can't trust your best friends" And
what's worse" interrupted Burroughs.
gloomily. you can't get your best
friends to trust you."-Philadelphia
Press.
49," remarked the boyhood frieno.
you are In the swim" Mother and
the girls think I am" answered Mr..
Cumrox. "But my personal feelings are
those OF a man who has fallen over
board and ought TO be hollering for
help. Washington Star.
Teaeher-If you are kind and polite
to your playmates, what viii be the
resultf Scholar-They'll think they
can lick me Philadelphia Inquirer.
He-That fellow over there cheated
me out OF a cool million. She-How
could her He-wouldn't let me marry
his daughter-The Pathfinder.
Just this way. sir" said the courte-
GUS clerk In the railroad ticket Office
Let me show you some summer guides
entitled Where 20 Co and When to
Co." The man with the modest in
come shook his head. They don't In
terest me- he sighed. what l want
to know is How to Go.'"-Chicago
Daily News.
Professor" said Mrs. Gaswell to the
musician who had been
engaged at high price to entertain her
guests, what was that lovely selection
rou played just nowT' THAT. madam"
be answered, giaring at her. was an
-Ah, yes, remember
now. l knew Il. was an old favorite.
but I couldn't think OF the name OF It
10 save me.--Tlt-B Bits