davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
Drank and Remembered.

A porter in a big New York ware
house in Greenwich street was recent
iy discharged for getting drunk and los
ing a valuable parcel. The discharge
sobered him instantly, coming as sud-
den hard shock. He said he would
take the oath never to touch liquor
again, but his pleadings for reinstate-
ment were unheeded. He searched
everywhere for the parcel, but could
not recollect what disposition he had
made of it. OF his honesty there had
never been question in twenty years.
Overcome by the loss Of his place, he
got violently drunk and while in this
condition recoliected where he had left
the parcel and went and recovered it
New York Times.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
Jcnny's Quick Method.

Jenny's uncle, who was a school
teacher, met her on the street one
beautiful May day and asked her If
she was going to the Maypole dance.
mo. I amt going"
"Oh. my little DEAR" said her uncle,
you must not say Il amt going.' You
must say 4 am not going.'" And he
proceeded to give her a little lesson in
grammar. "You are not going. He Is
not going. We are not going. You are
not going. They are not going. Now,
can you say all that, Jenny?''
"Sure. can" she replied. making a
courtesy. "There amt nobody going"
Ladies' Home Journal.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
A GENTLE REPRoAcH.
Telling Retort Of the LambIike, Violet
Eyed Beauty.

There is certain young woman who
Is beautiful, with that childish, wistful,
innocent looking, violet eyed beauty
which reduces one-half the feminine
world to tears, the other half to utter
ly helpless rage. We all know the
type, but it is seldom given us to see
it in such perfection. We usually as
sociate it with lamblike, appealing
mentality that permits itself to be rid.
den upon-as soon expect wood, violet
to turn and rend you.
A short time ago she was asked to
woman's luncheon and got herself
up for the occasion in way that
made the result of her efforts thing
not easily forgotten. She arrived look
ing so lovely that there was little said
among the guests for few moments
after her entry into the room. Perhaps
she felt the silence. At all events, she
turned to the woman standing nearest
her and said In childish voice, with
ever such little lisp and pretty south
ern accent:
"How well yo' are lookin' today"
~ was u Wei lucuuI Cltllty u
young woman to an older one. who
seemingly was unable to accept it as
such and put up her lorgnette, sweep
ing the speaker from top to toe. What
she saw was enough to discomfort q
younger and prettier woman than her
self, but even so one finds it difficult
to justify her next move.
"Wish l could say the same for
you," she returned, closing her lorgllette
with snap.
One or two of the guests were
friends of the pretty woman and al
most stopped breathing in order not
to miss what they felt sure would
come-and it came. The pretty one
raised her eyebrows slightly, then
said, with an air of gentle reproach:
:'Why don't yo' lie like lady, like
do?"-Rehoboth Sunday Herald.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
OLD time FoRcEps.
When the Thing Was Turned Some
thing Had to Give Way.

thing Had to Give Way.
And speaking of teeth reminds me
that the country doctor had to draw
them when they ached. The dentists
artistry had not attained the elevated
plane 1t occupies today. when every
body's mouth shines like the inside of
communion cup. honestly believe
the modern dentist has more different
kinds OF tools than even sanitary
plumber. and that's a whole lot when
you come to count them up. The mod
ern dentist hates the worst way to
draw tooth. Nevertheless II the
modern dentist must draw the tooth
he has a particular forceps for par
ticular tooth, and cruel hearted and
cold looking thing 1t is too. 1t puts
you SO in mind Of a successful finan-
cier. When you brace yourself in the
iron chair and take tight grip on the
arms of 1t and make up your mind
you'll try to stand II and he gets that
forceps we'll under the gum and-wait
a minute; feel so kind O. faint!
Laws! Why didn't mind my mother
when she told ME not to crack hick-
DRY nuts with my teeth? Well. any
way. you know he'll get the tooth out
without doing more than take the
whole top Of your head off, and that
only in figurative sense.
Uncle Doc had one implement that
did for every tooth. big and little.
front and back. 1t wasn't a forceps;
it was a turnkey. The real old folks
know what that is and will say so
with the cold chills running over them.
But you've never seen one, and many
a man that you would call old has
never seen one. It's something like a
canthook. The loosely riveted piece
that curves slips over the tooth and
catches OH the inside; the solid cam
bears on the outside gum: the operator
turns the handle. Let's not talk about
it. Something has got to give. Maybe
the tooth will come out; maybe 1t will
break off; maybe the jaw will frac.
ture. All those are details. The main
point is that il the operator twists the
handle something has got to give, and
that's all there is about it.-Eugene
Wood in Success Magazine.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
Where Willie Mas.

The professor (at the dinner table,
oh. by the way, Mrs. Chopsticks, have
you seen your little boy Willie lately ?
Mrs. Chopsticks-No. professor, have
not seen him since 10 o'clock. and
can't imagine what has become f'him.
In fact, am very much worried about
him. Professor-Well. seeing Martha
pour me out that glass Of water just
now reminded me of something that I
had on my mind to tell you some time
ago. but which unfortunately escaped
my memory. 1t was just about 10
o'clock. think. that saw little Willie
fall down the well.-Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
The Bad Spot.

An Irishman one day was told to put
up a signboard on which We're the
words, ITO Motorists-This Hill Is
Dangerous"
Away went Mike with the signboard
and placed it at the bottom Of very
steep hill. a few days later his en-
ployer went to see how the board was
put up and. finding it at the bottom Of
the hill, sought and found Mike.
"You blooming fool.' he cried. "Why
didn't you put that sign in the right
place."
"Shure and amt it," asked Mike.
"Don't all the accidents happen at the
acknowledgements Weekly.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
RELIGIOUS AcRoBArs.
Dangerous Aerial Slide Annually Per.
formed In india.

India offers many curious things in
the way Of religion, and the strangest
Of them all is the aerial slide, which Is
performed annually at Kulu, in the
Himalayas. At Il point where there is
a Cliff overhanging a precipitous gorge
several hundred feet in width and a
hundred feet in depth rope is made
fast to the rock. The other end of this
Is carried across the gorge and there
secured to stake. The total length
Of the rope between the two points is
when drawn taut $500 feet. and the
end attached to the cliff Is several hun
bred feet higher than that fastened on
the opposite side of the ravine. Thus
GUS one to oil appearance.
1t is down this incline that the per-
former has his path. For the lofty
journey sort Of saddle is provided
made of wood, with holes in it, through
which the rope passes. But before a
start is made the whole length Of the
rope is wet to prevent the saddle from
catching fire from the friction. The
performer sits astride this seat, and to
his legs are fastened bags of sand,
which serve two purposes-they enable
him to maintain an upright position
during his lightning-like descent. and
they increase the momentum. The
lower end Of the rope is carefully
wound with bits Of carpet to check the
speed before the stake is reached.
Without this prccaution the performer
would be dashed to pieces.
The terrific velocity of the descent
for the first few hundred yards is
shown by the stream of smoke that
trails from the wake Of the saddle, de-
spite the fact that the rope has been
wet. Afterward the incline diminishes
somewhat. and the pace becomes CORE
spondingly slower. BY the time the
goal is reached the jheri, as the per-
former is called, is able to come to
standstill without disaster.
This slide in the air is supposed to
reveal the will Of the gods as to the
crops of the approaching season. If
the perilous trip is accomplished in
safety a plentiful harvest is assured.
Naturally, therefore, every care is TAX
en- to minimize the dangers of the per-
Torrance. The ceremony is Of ancient
origin, and those who engage in it as
iheri form q small caste apart.-New
York Tribune,
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
What tie Needed.

A sovereign would tempt many men,
and when Plimkins, making few pur-
chases at the stores. saw one lying on
the floor just by the counter he quiv-
cred with excitement.
CHANGING around to reassure himself
that none was looking, he quite acct
dentally dropped one Of his kid gloves
neatly on the coin and then dived. He
got the glove all right, but still the SOW
ereign remained.
a shopwalller approached him.
"Good morning, SIR said the man,
rubbing his hands together in the ap-
proved style, land may show you a
bottle of our celebrated liquid glue.
which sticks
London Mail.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
A MEDFoRD STORY.
Legend Of the Phantom Ship and It's
Mad Pirate Captain.


Mad Pirate Captain.
The town Of Medford, Mass, has a
legend of phantom ship beside which
the Flying Dutchman is only a peace
full merchantmen. The Medford story
runs that a ship laden with rum and
gold and silver bars put out from that
place in the days when the Spanish
main was infested with pirates. II
was headed for a West Indian port,
but got into the doldrums and was so
long becalmed that water and provi-
sions gave out, and all hands persisted
of thirst and starvation. When the
wind came up again the ship sailed
away with her CHASTITY crew. was seen
by a buccaneer, chased and over
hauled.
The pirate captain made fast to his
prize without firing single shot, and,
attributing the vessels nonresistance
to fear or lack Of arms, he was the
first man to leap on board. But the
rope with which the captured ship
had been carelessly dashed to his own
parted under the strain of the seaway,
and he found himself rapidly borne
away from his comrades on what he
soon discovered to be floating coffin.
a stiff breeze filled the sails of the
derelict, and before his own vessel
could overtake it night descended on
the ocean, and the pursuing ship lost
sight of it altogether. Left alone III
pitch darkness on the grewsomc craft,
the pirate went mad with terror and,
Selling the wheel, raced away before
the wind and. according to the legend.
was condemned to range the seas for
ever thus in command Of his horrible
prize.
Woe to the ship that encountered it
scudding along by moonlight or in the
liyhtning's glare. manned by skeletons
and stcered by shouting. gesticulat-
ing madman. and when ON several oc-
casions it was sighted in the fog eff
Medford it WAS considered as the her.
aid of storm and disaster and the loss
Of many ships.-New York Press.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
Jury at the Theater.

An unusual spectacle was witnessed
at the Theater Royal, Nelson, Auck-
land, when the jury. who had been
locked up three nights because they
could not agree to a verdict in q MUIR
der case, were allowed to witness a
living picture display. They had ex-
pressed desire to attend the theater
as relief, and the Judge consented
Auckland News.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
None Left Alive.

Gan orator." said one of our states
men, twas addressing an assemblage
Of the people. He recounted the PEG.
pies wrongs. Then he passonately
cried:
"'Where are Americas great men?
Why don't they take up the cudgel in
our defense? In the face of our man
fold wrongs why do they remain cold,
immovable, silent? 4
"'Because they're all cast in bronze!'
shouted cynic in the rear"
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
The Cellar Stairs.

A man who once had bad fall when
going down his cellar stairs now has
broad strip Of white painted on the
floor at the end Of the last step. This
Is easily seen, even II the cellar be
dark. and many nasty accident is
avoided. If the house is rented and
you do not like to paint the boards a
piece Of white oilcloth can be tackled
to the floor ut the foot Of the stairs.
See that the lacking is securely done
or worse fall may follow than from
a misgauged step.-Philadelphia Press.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
Sympathy For tho Orphans.

An elephant while stamping through
the jungle one day quite unintentional-
" stepped upon mother bird. crush
ing it to death. Hearing the cries Of
the little brood in the bushes near by,
she sought out the nest and with a SYM
pathetic sigh said: "Poor little things!
I've been mother myself. I'll keep
you warm" And she then proceeded
to sit upon the nest.-From George T..
Lanigan's Fable, 1.-THE Kind Hearted
She Elephant"
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
Modern Version.

''Then you will be ever at my beck
and call?" inquired Aladdin.
"With the exception of Tuesday and
Friday afternoons, Monday and Satur-
day evenings and every other Sunday"
firmly replied the genie.-Washingto
Herald.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
Rucolic Human

"Hiram, why don't you speak to that
city gal out there a-sittin' on the grass
with her back up agin your NO Tres
passing sign"
MANDY, that young woman is be-
meath my notice."-Boston Transcript.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
Not Designed For Lovers.

Hell am sure Cupid had nothing to
do with the alphabet. She What
gives you that impression? He-If he
had been doing it he would have placed
q and much nearer each other.-St
Louis Republic.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
The WhaIe's Blow,

Porpoise-What Is the whale blowing
about? Dogfish-Oh, he got so many
notices for his feat in swallowing 10.
nah he's been blowing ever since.-Ex.
change.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
Crazy to Expect II.

HarduppeSay, old fellow, lend me a
hundred. will you? Riggs-A hundred
what? Harduppe-A hundred dollars.
L Riggs-Oh. stop your joking.
Harduppe (earnestly)-Joking? was
never more serious in my life. I'm
broke. Riggs-My dear man. you're
not broke: you're cracked! Catholic
Standard and Times.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
The KNOCKING.

''De successful man." said Uncle
Eben. "keeps quiet SOS he kin hear OPP
portunity knockin' at de do De fall
ure tries to do all de knockin' hisse'f."
-Washington Star.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
But Not the "one.r

Mrs. Hoyle-My husband had $780,
600 when married him. Mrs. Doyle
How much has he now? Mrs. Hoyle-
Oh, he has most Of the ciphers Left
Bohemian.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
Dodoed.

II got my wife through advertising"
''Then you'll admit that advertising
paysY
"I'll admit that 1t brings results"
was the cautious reply. = Louisville
Courier Journal.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05
A Work Maker,

"Binks is weak financially. isn't he?"
"He hasn't much money. but he gives
employment to great many men,"
"Who are they?"
"Other peoples bill collectors" Lon.
don Tit-Bits.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05

No man can be provident Of his time
who is not prudent in the choice Of his
company.-Jeremy Taylor.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05

Silence is sometimes the severest
criticism.-Baxter.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-11-05

Progress Is the real cure for an over
estimate Of NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-09
GOVERNOR PATTERSON
Tennessee's Chief Executive Speaks With
Eloquent Tongue
Tennessee, A Mother Of Presidents" His
Theme


man and gave an extraordinary exam
pie of the accomplishments of natural
endowment.
Let Tennesseans honor his memory,
for he was true to them and his native
south in that time of greatest peril,
when triumphant force was urging him
to retaliation and the South was power
less to resist.
This in brief is the story of our state,
mere suggestion of tee glory and re-
nown which is hers, mere thought of
the large impress she has left on the
natioual life.
If fourth period should come, as
come it may, if we are true and patient
in the faith that made us great, if the
leaders should come, as they will, if we
do not smother greatness by our own
follies, we will write another name with
those of Jackson, Polk and Johnson,
add.another chapter of glory to the
state we love, and.increase the national
renown and strength to which we have
already contributed so much.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-09
The Strain of Life.

This is busy, active world, and the
man succeeds best who has the greatest
health and strength to fight the battles
of life. You can't be healthy, strong
and clear-minded if you suffer from
constipation, dyspepsia, liver trouble,
flatulency, heartburn, etc. To cure
these diseases take DIR. Oaldwell'sSyrup
Pepsin, the great regulator. 1t is alb
solutely guaranteed to do what is claim
ed, and if you would like to try it before
buying, send your address for free
sample hottie to Pepsin Syrup Co., 119
Caldwell Bldg, Monticello, i'll. 1t is
sold by all druggists at 50 cents and 81
a bottle.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-09

He gained notoriety in this state fifteen
years ago while editor of the American
by abusing citizen of Obion county.
The things he wrote about that man
were awful. While o member Of the
democratic national convention in st.
Louis in 1904 it was reported that he
abused VIM, J. Bryan to such an extent
that it was difficult to prevent serious
trouble at the time. He never made q
speech in congress or out of it that was
not full of abuse of some one from start
to finish. In this particular line he is
an expert-an artist-yes, o master, but
that is as near as he ever approaches
statesmanskip.
On all grounds Patterson is Car
mack's superior except in the matter of
abusing people. He actually had poor
old Bob Taylor cowed and afraid to
meet him in joint debate when they
were candidates for the United States
senate.
II there is any reason why Patterson
should not have the second term, his
opponents have not stated them and
they can not truthfully state any good
reasons. The only argument used
against him so far is the action of the
state committee in calling a primary
election. When his record is consider
ed and his character and standing as q
mau and as governor of this state are
fully weighed it will easily be seen that
there is no earthly reason why he
should not have a second term, an hon.
or that is always granted in this state
to man who has had the Office but one
term.
AS I am looking after big game this
week it will be impossible for me tC
notice Tramp and Scraps in this issue
of the N. B., but I'll see you later, gen
tlemen. FELIX W. MOORE.
Troy ews-Bauner.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-09
WOlf-Like Sympathy.

The opposition to Gov. Patterson
seems to have an idea that the people
of the state neither read nor think. The
admistration was charged with being
the most extravagant in recent times; a
deficit, wide and yawning, was predict
ed by them. Patterson's administra-
tion and the prodigality Of the legisla-
ture, they alleged, was such that the
state and it's institutions faced bank
ruptcy, and the financial ruin of the
state was the prediction. The state
paid $500, 1000 to the counties for public
schools, the semi-annuaI interest paid,
quarterly increased pensions of the
state, and, what's more, now has about
81 200, 900 cash in the state treasury.
Anything said now about this By those
who were so Industrious when they
thought they saw financial disaster
ahead for the state? Not word. Are
the people congratulated over this hap
py state Of affairs? Oh, no. They
were praying for disaster to the public,
while mourning and sympathizing with
the tax payers. The result did not pan
out as hoped. 1t should not take an
intelligent public long to get wise to
this sort OF mendacity and wolf-like
sympathy. A public servant who has
carried the state safely among the
breakers and around the rocks these
wise people saw is entitled to indorse
ment. If these Projectors were half al
loyal to the public welfare as they woulG
have the public believe them to be, the,
would be ready to say "Well done,
instead of hunting, delving and dig
ging for new charges with which t,
prejudice the public mind against
public servant who has shown himsel
to be wise, prudent and careful for tn
best interests OF the state, so that thei
dire prediction came to naught, and W
take it it required q wise and pruden
man at the helm, or results would hav
been different. At least, this is q NOR
charitable conclusion than to say thes
reports were false and known to b
such when made Covington Leader.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-09
Death Was on His Heels.

Jesse P. Morris, of Shippers, Va, had
close call in the spring of 1905. He
says: San attack of pneum onia left me
SO weak and with such fearful cough
that my friends declared consumption
had me, aud death was on my heels.
Then I was persuaded to try DIR. Kings
New Discovery, 1t helped me i'm medi
ately, and after taking two and half
bottles was we'll man again. | found
out that New Discovery is the best rem
edy for coughs aud lung disease in all
the world Sold under guarantee at
Fl. O. Miller's drug store. SOC and 81.
Trial bottle free.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-09
Flies Away to the Bosom of Jay Eye Cox

To the Editor of The American:
Although the renowned Mr.. Carmack
claims to be a resident of both Middle
and West Tennessee, he could not risk
opening his campaign in either of these
Patterson strongholds. He must go to
the eastern portion of the state where
the early snap mass conventions were
held by Cox against Patterson. This
flank movement on the part of Carmack
through Armistead, gives him ample
opportunity to test the staying qualities
CT our courageous governor, and the
writer will ware 4-pence that Car
mack's eye, or his voice one, gives out
before he gets back to either one Of his
home sections. observer.
Columbia, March 27.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-09
The Southern Railway
Is the Greatest Highway of
Travel to all Points West
3-DAILY TRAINS--3

N. B. The following schedule fig
ures published only as information and
are not guaranteed:
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-09

"Are you going to Europe this
year?"
81 don't know" answered Mr.. Dus-
tin Stax. ''l haven't read the papers
to-day. Are they starting any new in
vestigations?"- Washington Star.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-09

Fickle weather, DIR. Fshrney's Teeth
ing Syrup is always dependable. Doc
tors prescribe it. Write for free sample.