davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
WONDERED WHY
Found the Answer Was "Coffee."

Many pale, sickly persons wonder
for years why they have to suffer so.
and eventually discover that the drug
--caffeine-in coffee is the main cause
of the trouble.
81 was always very fond Of coffee
and drank it every day. ! never had
much flesh and often wondered why
] was always so pale, thin and weak.
About five years ago my health
completely broke down and was con.
fined to my bed. My stomach was
in such condition that could hardly
take sufficient nourishment to sustain
life.
During this time was drinking
coffee, didn't think / could do with
out 1t.
after awhile / came to the con-
clusion that coffee was hurting me,
and decided to give it up and try
Postum. / didn't like the taste Of 1t
at first, but when it was made right
boiled until dark and rich-I soon
became very fond of 1T.
'In one week began to feel better.
could eat more and sleep better. My
sick headaches were less frequent, and
within five months I looked and felt
like a new being, headache spells en-.
tirely gone.
my health continued to improve
and today am well and strong, weigh
14S lbs. attribute my present health
to the life-giving qualities Of Postum"
There's Reason"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read, "The Road to Well
yille," in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full Of human
Interest.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
How IL Was Done.

Ihree-year-old May had a penchant
for cutting everything in sight, when
she could get pair of scissors. One
day, being left alone with her curly
headed baby brother, she promptly cut
every curl from the back Of his head.
When the nurse discovered the dam
age, she said:
ooh! May, how dare you cut baby's
eurls OFF,"
HE cut them hisself."
How did he reach the back OF his
head?"
He stood on the STOOL"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
Turned Down.

Dick-I didn't get much encourage.
ment when / proposed to that naughty
beauty.
Jack-Well faint heart never won
fair lady, old man. Maybe she thought
you had cold feet.
Dick-H'm! She must have thought
| had cold hands. She gave me the
mitten.-Chicago Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
ALL RUN DOWN.
Miss Della .Styoe6e. avAo had Com.
PAeteLy Lost Her Health, Found
Relieff1o1z Pe.,x-,ta at One..
Read WAat She Saws:

MISS DELLA STRoEBE, ITO Rich.
AvA mond ST., Appleton, Wis.,, writes
"For several years I was in run
down condition, and could find no re-
Lief nom doctors and medicines. 7
could not enjoy my meals, and could
not sleep at night. had heavy, dark
circles about the eyes.
"My friends were much alarmed. J
was advised to give Peruna trial, anc
to my joy began to improve with the
first bottle. After taking six bottles I
felt completely cured. cannot say too
much for Peruna as a medicine for
women in rundown condition"
Pe-ru-na Did Wonders.
Mrs. Judge j. F. Boyer, 1421 Sherman
Ave., Evanston, ILL.,, says that she be-
came run down, could neither eat nor
sleep well, and lost flesh and spirit. Pc
runa did wonders for her, and she thanks
Peruna for new life and strength.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

bloated to twice their normal size.
Doctors did not help, and was fast
drifting into the hopeless stages. I
used Doan's Kidney Pills at the crit.
cal moment and they really saved my
life"
Sold by all dealers. SO cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
At the SPRINGS,

Josh Wethersby-Say, boy! dye
mean ter tell me tibet yer kin make me
young an spry ag'in if stop here fer
more'n a week?
Hotel Clerk-Sure thing, uncle!
Front, show the gentleman to suite
siXteen-Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
The Mean Thinu,

She (eyeing the refreshment booth)
Dearest, while we are waiting for
the train, don't you think it would
be good idea to take something?
He-Yes, darling; and since it is
such beautiful moonlight night, lets
take a walk baltimore American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
Opposites Cause and Effect.

They say that there is more crime
committed in hot weather"
Yes; heat seems to conduce to
wickedness."
Now that's strange, that a close
atmosphere should cause loose prin
ciples. "-Baltimor American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
Badly Needed.

Landlady-Why do you set your tea
on a chair, Mr.. Jones?
Boarder-It is so very weak, ma'am,
[ thought II would rest it.-Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

Bacon-I see the Englishmen Of
Mid-Devon have organized to wage
war on wood pigeons.
Egbert-I should think they would
kick. Just imagine trying to eat a
pigeon pie made out of wooden pi-
geons!-Yonkers Statesman.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

Habit is wonderful thing" OBJ
serves the Philosopher of Folly. Il
suppose the reason some of these
Wall street men are trying to own
the earth is that somebody has told
them it is threefourths water
Cleveland Leader.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
A Good Reason.

"Why was Mrs. Smithers so VIC
lently opposed to the marriage of one
OF her twins?"
II think 1t was because OF her being
such a very particular housekeeper.
What on earth had that to do with
IT."
you see, she hated to break a set"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
Socialistic.

The Patient-Doc, I can't bay you
no money while l amt gone mono,
already. Will you dake it oud In
drade?
The Dentist-Well, might consider
that. What's your business?
The PATIENT lead a leedle Choi.
man band. Ven come aroundt und
serenade you effry nighd for a mont.
yet!
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

disease started with
slight irregularity
and weakness and
developed into dan
gerous dropsy. lie
came weak and Ian
guild, and could do
no Homework. My
back ached terribly.
I had bearing down
pains and nv limbs
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

well, Johnny, did you have a good
time at the sea shore?"
"Naw-I wuz arrested"
Arrested? What for?'
81 went down to de beach in one o.
me big sisters bathin' suits."-Cleve-
land Leader.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
GETTING Even,

Excuse me, sir" demonstrated the
bad barber, but there are several
deep scratches in this coin"
We'll, we are even, old sport"
laughed the revengeful patron. There
are also several deep scratches in my
chin. Chicago Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

THAT was a strange fish story
Brown told"
What was it,"
"He said that the fish that got away
was the smallest one of the lot
Detroit Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
Indefinite.

Expectant Heir-Oh, doctor, Is there
any hope for us?
Cynical Doctor-Which? OF your un.
cle's recovery or his money?-Balti.
more American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
Knew His Rinhts.

Landlady-Whats the matter with
that pie?
Boarder-'Taint fit for pig, and /
sin't going to eat it.-Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
Easy to Be PROMISING.

Zones is a very promising young
man, isn't he?"
Yes, he's full Of promise, but he's
mighty shy on fulflllment. Detroit
Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
The Usual Way,

Zones looks and acts like king,
doesn't he
Yes, that's probably because he's
always in debt."-Detroit Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
BUGS and Kisses.

Patience-We were sitting on the
front stoop, and Jack said every time
he saw lightning bug he was going
TO kiss me.
Patrice-Good for Jack!
But told him every time | saw q
lightning bug | was going to make him
stop"
81 know the rest of the story. YCu
kept your eyes closed the whole eve.
ing" -Yonkers Statesman.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

The Bridgroom-Ah, darling, ! cad
see the lovelights in your eyes.
The Bride-Don't be silly, George.
There Is nothing in my eyes but Gin,
ders.-Chicago Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
Enouuh Left.

Mrs. Benham-You took the words
light out of my mouth.
Benham-I don't seem to lave done
a complete job.-Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
'ou see, she hated to break a set"
Imnortant 10 Mothera.

Waste not the remnant Of thy life
in those imaginIngs touching other
folk, whereby thou contributest not to
the common weal.-Marcus Aurelius.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
A Siun.

The honeymoon is about over when
the husband begins to kick about the
meals--W Washington Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

Mrs. Wigs-Your daughter seems TO
be suffering from the heat.
Mrs. Digs-No; she's just home
from college, and she's Frustrated by
the family grammar.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

This woman says she was saved
from an operation by Lydia E..
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
LenaV. Henry, of Norristown, Ca,
writes to Mrs. Pinkham:
az suffered untold misery from 70.
male troubles. My doctor said an opera
ton was the only chance l had, and 1
dreaded it almost as much as death.
"One day read how other women
had been cured by Lydia Il. Pinlkham's
Vegetable Compound, and decided to
try IL. Before | had taken the first
bottle / was better, and now am en-
tirely cured.
EVERY woman suffering with any
female trouble should take Lydia Il.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.

For thirty years Lydia +. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousands OF
women who have been troubled with
displacements, inflammation, ulcera-
ton, f5roid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, baclache, that bear
ing down feeling, tlatulency, indiges.
ton, dizziness or nervous prostration.
Why don't you try itp
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick
women to write her for advice.
She has guided thousands to.
health. Address, Lynn, Mass.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

If Your Feet Ache or Burn
got 2bc package of Aliens Foot Ease. II gives
quick relief. Two million packages sold yearly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
It's Nature to Do II Somehow.

tvs NdtUTe 10 DO Tl oUWcHUW.
"The Ananias club seems to have
been lying low of late"
well, it must lie somehow"-Bal-
timore American.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
SAVED AT THE CRISIS
Delay Meant Death from Kidney
Troubles.

Mrs. Herman Smith, 901 Broad
Street, Athens. Ga. says: "Kidney
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

Be careful not to stumble over your
own BLUM.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
Same Old Story.

The melancholy days have come
When I'm exchange for plunks
The iceman hands his product OUT
In the smallest kind OF chunks.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

Artist shall not mind If live till
become famous.
Friend shouldn't mind living a
couple OF centuries myself.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06
lEAP-YEAR LAUGH.

''You look worried, old mani"
yes. Had three proposals last
night and l don't know which one !
ought to accept"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-08-06

Does your daughter play popular
music?"
Guess not. All the neighbors close
their windows when she starts to prac-
uce."
The daily sentinel., 1908-03-03
LOOK OUT
FOR THEM

Chief of Police O'Neil is in re-
oeipt Of q very important circular
letter this morning from the govern
naent detective secret service Of the
postoffice department.
The corcular gives information of
q new manner of robbing the gov
ern ment by the use of stolen money
order forms. The circular then gives
information from what postoffice the
forms were stolen and asks that a
sharp lookout be kept for any of
these forms.
1t appears that the swindlers of
the government have secured these
blank forms and have written out
money orders for any amount, and
then have forwarded to the Offices on
which the orders have been made
out the usual formal notice that a
money order has been issued to a
certain person, of course, all the
names used being fictitious.
The scheme is new one and en-
tirely practicable if the forms are i'm
possession of anyone who desires to
swindle the government. From the
number of people engaged in the
work, it seems that a determined ef-
fort to work the government is be-
ing made simultaneously in num-
ber of the large cities.
Chief O'Neil is keeping sharp
lookout, as are all the postmasters
in the government service.
The daily sentinel., 1908-03-03
PREACHER FACES MOST
SENSATIONAL CHARGES.

Lees Summit, Mo-, March g.
Charles S. Brown, pastor of the
Christian church of this city, has
been exposed and driven out of the
church for drunkenness and gam
bling. His strong personality and
ability as an orator made for him a
host of friends, and after winning
the esteem and confidence of the
congregation he began to borrow
money.
The suspicion of those who made
the loans was aroused and an inves-
tlgation was made. 1t was found
that he played poker and drank
while in Kansas City recently, and
after his return here statement was
demanded.
At a prayer meeting the minister
made the following statement, after
which he resigned:
Il took little too much beer and
then got started to gambling. / lost
more than l could afford to lose and
had no way to get out of the hole
save by winning. So borrowed
money to play. / lost that money
and borrowed more and lost again.
Now all is lost and 1 am d wn and
out"
The daily sentinel., 1908-03-03
WHO Will
BE THE MAN?

Who will it be?
Tomorrow one year, March 4, who
will be inaugurated president of the
United States?
This has been the theme of spec
ulation throughout the city today.
1t is remarkable, but the general
thought is that William Jennings
Bryan will be the next president of
the United States.
The same sort of speculation is
rife throughout the whole country,
and there is that about the "hunch''
Gf you may call it sol that leads
people to involuntarily express the
opinion that the candidate who will
win the suffrages of the people will
be Mr.. Bryan.
Looking forward a year seems a
considerable span of time; but
events will follow in quick success
sion and the decision as to who will
be the next president of the United
States will be made before one real
ly gets down to thinking much about
the affair.
Anyhow, whether it be n republi-
can or democrat, the country will be
just the same. What we want is a
true American and prosperity, and
whoever is president we can live and
thrive under their administration.
The daily sentinel., 1908-03-03
NINE-HoUR LAW EFFECTIVE.

Washington, March 3.-The ma
tional nine-hour law, governing rail-
road employees, becomes effective to-
morrow. The Baltimore & Ohio and
few other roads have already
adopted the system.
The law limits the hours of SER
vice of all classes of train operatives,
particularly locomotive engineers
and firemen, train dispatchers, rail-
way telegraphers, tower men and
signal operators.
Many objections of the new law
have been filed with the interstate
commerce commission, and threats
have been made by railway officials
that the operation of the law will
necessitate a reduction in wages.
1t was pointed out that nine hours
constituted an unusual and awkward
period, as duties of that kind have
to be performed "a hours every day.
If two shifts of train dispatchers,
telegraph operators and signal men
each worked nine, there would be a
period of six hours in every "a which
could not be covered satisfactorily,
either to the men themselves or to
the railroads.
1t was intimated that tricks of
eight hours might be better for all
concerned, but for such period OF
work the men could not be paid
wages which they would regard as
adequate for their needs. And, in
addition, it might be difficult to OBJ
tain the services of enough skilled
men to make up three shifts ever "a
hours on all of the railroads in
America.
Any attempt to cut the wages of
the railroad men will be bitterly
fought by the American Federation
of Labor and allied organizations.
In regard to the threatened reduc-
ton. President Gompers said: THE
wages of the railroad men cannot
stand a reduction. The cost of living
has been increasing faster than the
wages. which, in fact, have not been
increased at all.
Under the Erdman law the Presi-
dent has empowered the Interstate
Commerce Commission to make an
immediate investigation and to re-
port as soon as possible.
I'VE do not want any strikes.
Strikes are to be avoided except as
a last resort, and in nine cases out
of ten, II both sides will be willing,
the trouble can be settled by arbi-
tration."
The daily sentinel., 1908-03-03

In 1.-The Avenger" or "The Man
Monkey" Mr.. Theodore Lorch, the
brilliant young western actor who
appears here Friday, March 6, at the
Park opera house, plays a dual role
somewhat like "Dr. Jekyll and Mr..
Hyde" but mot so ghastly or terrible
as the Stevenson play. Part of the
time Mr.. Lorch is an educated gen
tleman, while at other times he is
what the title indicates "a man mon
key" a creature of the forests, lost
to all ideas of humanity and civiliza-
ton. The piece bristles with strong
dramatic action, interspersed with
plenty of clean, wholesome comedy
and has been the biggest kind of a
hit ever since first produced. Mr..
Lorch is surrounded by players Sc
lected with extreme care for their
fitness to portray the various char
acters. 1t is a play that once seen is
never forgotten.
The daily sentinel., 1908-03-03

thing last week. While going to a
dance one night, mounted on one of
Charley Bloomfield's thoroughbreds,
he ran down a gray wolf, and killed
it with a club. The race occurred in
the bottom between Bloomfield's and
the river. The wolf was quick and
wary, but Albert has had some ex-
perience with a base ball bat. From
the actions of the wolf Albert
thought the animal had a few fling
ers too much of the conversation
water aboard.-Meeker Review.
The daily sentinel., 1908-03-03
FROM TODAY FO0DSTUFFS
MUST BEAR true LABEL
Many Change May be Noticed by the Patrons the Brands Goods the Grocery
StoresDe Of Scores Of the Reforms Work by Coodos New Pure Food
Law Grocer Must Let His Customer Know Of Every Aduteraiu

After five months spent in sys-
tematic campaign of education" that
all might know of the exact provis-
ions of the new state law regarding
the adulteration of foods, the state
pure food commission will from to-
day tnaugurate vigorous system of
prosecutions of all who continue in
the manufacture and sale of these
goods. To this end the commissions
inspectors In all parts of the state
have been notified to forbid the sale
of all articles misbranded in any
way, and to see that the provisions
of the new law are rigidly observed.
Many so-called "adulterations"
are permitted under the statute, but
there must be no Misrepresentation
regarding them, such as could by
any possibility deceive the purchaser.
The commission has therefore noti-
fed his inspectors to inform dealers
that they must not place such goods
on sale until they have first obtain
ed correct labels for them-labels
such as comply fully with all legal
requirements. Possibly those who
will be most directly affected by the
new order will be the manufacturers
of and dealers in soda water, pop,
beer, etc, who will NOW be compelled
~ SldIt upon tuelT lduelS JuSt WHAT
ingredients enter into the compost
ton of their wares. Flavoripg ex-
tracts, jams. preserves AMI similar
foodstuffs will hereafter be required
to bear new. and. in some instances,
rather startling labels.
For instance, strawberry, rasp-
berry. pineapple and sarsaparilla
drahks will hereafter be generally
labeled limitation. artifically col
ored," for few of these decoctions
are really pure" within the meaning
and intent of the law.
Root beer, ginger ale. etc., will
also appear as "artificially colored,' -
as it generally is.
Saccharine, substance $50 times
sweeter than ordinary sugar, gen.
orally used in the sweetening of soda
water, cider and similar drinks, is
absolutely prohibited for such pur-
poses and hereafter pure sugar must
be used.
The daily sentinel., 1908-03-03

Another. notable change in label
ing will be upon jellies, jams and
preserves. Many substances which
have heretofore been sold as rasp-
berry jelly, currant jam, strawberry
preserves and the like, which. were
generally prepared with a small per
cent of the fruits named and a much
larger per cent of apple juice. will
hereafter be labeled compound"
jelly, jam or preserves, as the case
may be.
Apple and raspberry preserves
may be 80 per cent apple juice, Is
per cent raspberry and As per cent
sugar, but if glucose preservatives or
artificial coloring matter lis added it
must be so stated on the label
What has heretofore been sold as
potted ham, chicken, turkey and the
like, will now appear labeled, in the
majority of cases, as ''potted meat.
ham flavor" etc. Veal loaf will
stand forth as "meat loaf, veal
flavor"
What has generally appeared upon
the shelves of the grocer as "pure
maple syrup-$1,O0 reward for any
adulteration found in this syrup"
will have to bear the legend "cane
and maple syrup" thus indicating
instances to the extent of so per
CENTS used in it's manufacture.
Much difficulty has so far been
experienced by the commission in
securing the proper labelling of flaw
oring extracts. Many brands here
tofore sold as triple strength" will
be compelled to appear bearing the
label "adulterated, artificially col
ored" and without the triple. ="
Concentrated extract of vanilla,
made from Mexican vanilla beans"
will now startle the customer by ap-
pearing as vanilla substitute" or
limitation vanilla with the "arti-
fically colored" attachment
1t might also be well for custo-
mers desiring a glass of cider to in
spect the other side of the jug for
the label Limitation cider, artificially
colored." He may also find other
interesting ingredients enumerated
thereon.
The daily sentinel., 1908-03-03
HOMESTEAD BILLS ARE
GETTING MUCH ATTENTION

A yesterdays dispatch from Wash
ington states that meeting to dis
cuss dry farming legislative meas
ures was held yesterday in Repre-
sentative Mondell's committee room,
which was attended by representa-
tives and senators from Colorado.
Wyoming, Utah. Nevada, Montana,
Washington and Oregon.
Bills which have been introduced
by Representative Mondell and Sem
ators Smoot and Dixon to enlarge
the homestead area and establish So
called dry farming homesteads where
desired, and features adopted from
each which will be framed in a new
bill upon which lit Is expected all
western members will unite.
The new bill will fix the area of
new homesteads at 800 acres; make
the law applicable to all arid land
states excepting Nebraska, which
now has a 64O-acre law applicable
to its lands; will require residence
of the entryman upon his homestead.
excepting in Utah; will not permit
communication of entries. and will re-
quire cultivation and proof of GER
tain value of improvements. The
new bill will be mainly made up
from provisions of the Mondell and
Dixon bills.
The meeting authorized Mondell
to appoint a committee to be COM
posed of a senator or representative
from each arid land state to frame
| a bill along the lines agreed upon
tentatively at yesterdays meeting,
| which will be introduced in the SEN
ate and house and pushed to passage,
II possible, at this session.