davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
COMMON SENSE

A N ENGLISH journal states that
II during the past five years the best
- markets for British manufactures
by as much as 36 per cent, and that but
for the depression. in South Africa 1t
would have been as high as Sc per cent.
In 1908 South Africa held the position
of second largest buyer of British man.
ufactures, purchasing manufactured
goods to the value of about $780, O00,0 900.
Last year the purchases dropped to
about $50, 100000. India is the largest
purchaser of British manufactures.
Last year she bought about $253,OOO,00O
worth. Germany is Britains second
best customer. Then come the United
States, Australia, France, Argentina
and Canada. AS a cold-blooded busi-
ness proposition, therefore Britain's
best friends are the United States, Ger
many and India. Yet the three coun-
tries that are from time to time talked
of, now in one jingo paper, now in an
other, as the possible foes of Britain,
with whom she may have to highland
the jilg sec ~k2,;er fail to tell us that
the struggle will be- e'>s>snerate-are In
dia, Germany and the UnfSed States.
This should make clear the preposter-
Gus folly of jingoism. When a man
begins to talk of the horrors we may
soon expect, when Britain's enemies are
at her old throat and she is fighting for
life, ask him to climb down from the
high horse and look at this matter from
a reasonable point of view Or. speak
to him in a parable. Tell him that an
old butcher near your home was doing
a splendid business, the biggest in the
city. He had three regular patrons,
who were "in and out of the store" all
the time. They kept the butcher busy
chopping and saving and weighing for
them, and his money register indicated
that all three We're cash customers.
Suddenly, one day, the butcher got into
a controversy with his best customer
about the exact dimensions of the ca
nails in Mars. Selling his cleaver, he
drove him out of the store. The second
best customer came along, smiling, but
the old gentleman, still in a towering
rage, accused him of being too thick
with the first and began to pound him
violently with a big beef bone. The
customer went away in great excite
ment, saying he would return with the
police. Then came the third best GUS
TONER and the old butcher saluted him
with "WeU what have YOU to say
about it?" and bombarded him with
iron weights and meat hooks. What
would you think of this allegorical
butcher? You would say unhestating-
ly that he was crazy. Not less crazy
would a nation be which would quarrel
with it's best customers or with any
one of them.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
xANTHIAs JoLLIED

me sit ancilla tibi amor pudori. Horace
Ode 4, Book IL.
Nay, Xanthias. feel unashamed
That she you love is but servant.
Remember lovers far more famed
Were just as fervent.
Achilles loved the pretty slave
Briseis for her fair complexion,
And to Tecmessa Ajax gave
His young affection.
Why, Agamemnon at the height
OF feasting triumph and anointment.
Left everything to keep, one night.
A small appointment
And are you sure the girl you love-
This maid on whom you have your hear
set
Is lowly-that she is not of
The Roman smart set?
maiden modest is she,
So full of sweetness and forbearance
Must be all right; her folks must be
Delightful parents.
Her arms and face 1 can commend
And, as the writer of a poem,
l fain would compliment, old friend,
The limbs below 'em.
Nay, be not jealous Stop your fears.
My tendencies are far from sporty.
Besides, the number of my years
Is over forty.
Frank p Adams in Appleton's Makazine.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
FLEET FESTIVITIES

VIZ HILE we appreciate the efforts of
w sister communities in this state
to entertain the officers and
men of the fleet we view with alarm
expression copyrighted) the efforts
that are being made to put the gallant
sailors and officers beyond reach of
further hospitality. Our great and good
friends in other parts of this state have
been so favored by geographical situa-
ton that they have had the first oppor-
tunity to welcome the warships to
American waters. To this we have
assented without a murmur Far was
it from us to suggest that the fleet
should have called at San Pedro first,
enjoyed the hospitality of Los Angeles
and the area of which 1t is the
metropolis, and then visited other ports.
MOI We were generous to fault. We
made no attempt to thwart or outWlt
existing geographical conditions; no
effort to have the map readjusted or
the boundaries of Los Angeles extended
indefinitely, Chicago style, in order that
they might meet and greet the fleet in
advance of San Diego. And how has
our forbearance been rewarded? What
return have we had for our patient
acquiescense in the southernmostness
of San Diego? Alas! 1t is only toe
evident that base ingratitude Is our
portion. The southern seaport is stuff
ing the sailors with food until they can
hardly waddle, and will almost GER
tainly arrive at Los, Angeles suffering
from indigestion. Moreover, the men
of the fleet have been feted and paraded
and band-played and speechified and
Hospitality treated in a perfectly scan
dalous manner by citizens who are ap-
parently unmindful of the fact that we
have prior rights, and that only the ac'
cident of the direction, in which the
warships happen to be sailing prevented
us from enforcing those rights. we
hone our sailor friends are leaving
room for more. They must not allow
4he willy San Diegans to make them
stale and unfit to enjoy the reception
at San Pedro and Los Angeles, as COM
pared with which any reception that
the officers and men have had else
where in California or in the world Will
be-but why pursue the subject!
Everybody knows that as an enter
tainer Los Angeles is IT.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
CONGRESSIONAL MORALS

N eastern magazine suggests that
n congressman should have chap
IA erons. An observant contributor
to this magazine says he has peeh
studying our law makers at Washing
ton. He had his eye on them. mat
eve was Mortified. Some congressman
play new and innovating styles OF
noker. some acquire the drink habit.
Glittering liquor palaces, gorgeous
gambling halls, ETC., are continually
kept in operation during sessions OF
the national legislature. Therefore 1t
Is high time that constituencies should
send moral protectors to guard their
representatives and senators. Instead
of having one chaplain for the upper
and one for the lower house there
should be one for every member. Such
an adjunct to a congressman moral
ity and efficiency would be an all
around help. He could gently but in
exorably warn his charge, when he
saw him going astray, and could make
regular reports to constituents. The
constant presence of a few hundred
mature clergymen in Washington dur
ing the session of congress could not
have otherwise than a good effect on
the populace, and there would be no
lack of sermons whenever people want
ed them. 1t is certain that Washing@
ton is we'll stocked with allurements
and temptations. Every one who vis-
its the city and under the skilled guild
ance of some seasoned law giver or
experienced newspaper correspondent
makes an inspection of the tempta-
tions that beset the path of national
law makers is compelled to acknoWl-
edge the force of the suggestion that
the average congressman, unless he is
strong willed and worldly WISE should
have a moral inspector and guardian.
AS congress controls the District of
Columbia and rules Washington, con-
gressmen themselves are to blame for
the existence of conditions that have
been known to shock rural visitors
from New York, Chicago on Los An
geles, who in all their hayseed metro
politan existences had never dreamed
that Washington could or would delib-
erately set an example that could not
be pointed to with pride"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
THE HERALD's LEAD
r os ANGELES HERALD

OS ANGELES f1ENALO
on April 10 maintained its
- lead as newspaper, a
gatherer of legitimate, reliable
news, which it publishes in read
able, attractive but non-sensa-
tional form. We believe sensi-
BILE people prefer to have news
presented in a sensible manner.
While we give a complete news
service, we do not attempt to
dishgure the news by exaggera-
ton or overwriting. The Her
aid yesterday published 154
headed items of news in fourteen
pages. The Examiner published
only 113 items. The news serv-
ice of The Herald, local and
telegraphic, was complete. The
local field is covered thoroughly,
systematically and carefully by
highly trained, experienced re-
porters and correspondents. The
news of the country is covered
fully and reliably by the Asso-
ciated Press service, which is in
disputably not only the best in
the United States but best in the
world.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
COPYRIGHTS

A MEXICAN dime novels enjoyed a
u season of popularity in Spain.
~ French and Spanish transla-
tions of The most popular of these
novels had a brisk sale for about a
year. American publishers asked the
government to tell them whether the
demand would warrant the invasion of
the field ON a big scale with Spanish
editions of everything in the dime novel
series. The consul at Barcelona made
an investigation and replied, mo"
The dime novel was popular because it
was inexpensive to the publisher. He
paid a hack small fee for translation.
After that his profits were not inter-
fered with by fees or royalties. 1t was
merely another form of literary piracy.
The enterprisng Spanish publisher is
sued a Franklin Square library of
American quick sellers of the Three
Buckets of Blood variety. But reg
ular trade in dime novels, deCently con-
Quoted with due regard for the fact
that the author, without whom the
dime novel could not exist, deserved
compensation, would not be worth
the while" Isn't it strange that literary
piracy, thefts of the products of mems
brains, should still flourish among peo-
pies who condemn and punish thefts of
the products of machinery or fields?
The international copyright law is still
regarded as a novelty. And it is only
the other day that an amendment to
the United States domestic copyright
law, asking that protection should be
extended to titles, was defeated!
The excuse made was that such an
amendment would create an industry
in titles; that some ingenious person
might make long lists of all the titles
possible and copyright them. No doubt
he might, if he had the opportunity
and if he had brains enough to think of
titles. But this objection could be met
in an easy manner, suggested by COM
mon sense. Let Washington refuse to
copyright a title that is not accom-
panied by the book or article it rep
resents. If there is in existence some
thing which needs title the existence
of that something is warrant for pro-
tecting the title. Literature and peri
odical literature are not yet on busi-
ness basis No other industry is in
such a condition of unreasonable and
riotous disorder as that which is con-
cerned with the production of books,
magazines and other periodicals. 1t is
outrageous, absurd, grotesque, prepos-
ferrous that a publication should not
by a simple process of copyright, pro-
tect that name from imitation or
piracy.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17

rule if the territory is to make prog
ress. 1t is being pillaged by brigand
interests which maintain a large and
well paid lobby" at Washington. Alas
kans say that only home rule, and that
granted speedily, will save the territory
few trusts which up to date have been
more powerful at Washington than the
representatives of the territory. Now,
if Alaska We're Ireland, how the Repub-
lican papers would howl over the
wrongs of the settlers and the natural
owners of the land. oh, wirra! wirra!
'Tis sad, sad to see how circumstances
alter cases.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17

The gentle designations in which COL
lege men are supposed to indulge fur
nish many a would-be joker with a
theme. Drunk" jokes become so nu-
merous that only recently the edict
went forth from the Harvard Lam
poon sanctum that they must be veri-
table masterpieces of hRnor to receive
any consideration from bored editori-
al staff. Poker too, comes to the toll
ing candidates aid, and inspired this
classic epitaph on a pictured tomb
stone:
HERE LIES THE BODY
OF
MARY McFORD
SHE RAISED FIVE
AND WAS CALLED
BY THE LORD.
Smoking Is not only a favorite pas
time but a favorite theme. MY gra-
cious, little boy" says the good old
lady to the putting mucker "do you
smoke cigars?" mo use hintin', lady"
replies the clever one, "de butts prom
ised." This view of woman's smoking
is taken:
Helen-Do you think lady would
smoke a cigarette?
Mae-Not if it's the only one a gen.
tleman has.-The Bohemian.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17

New Yorks example in striking a
sergeant arms and throwing him
from the platform. and the reading
desk after him, in order that he might
be kept from restoring order in a po-
litical convention which was enjoying
little excitement, should not be imi-
tated in the more civilized parts of the
United States. Let us remember that
the poor benighted New Workers. away
on the cold outer edge of the most dis
agreeable part of the continent, have
not had much chance of cultivating
good manners. Those who, like Roose-
welt, blend with their native strenu-
osity a certain amount of self-restraint
and gentility have all, like Roosevelt,
visited Los Angeles and received a
lasting impression.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17

Our readers are well aware of our
attitude toward questions affecting the
moral and physical health of the COM
munity. We believe in right living,
and we know that to discourage bad
habits is part of patriots duty But
there is a marked difference between
reasonable and cranky views on any
subject. From an eastern contempo-
rary we Gull the following paragraph:
Bread lines are frequently made pic
turesque by men with pipes in their
mouths, smoking tobacco, the price OF
which would buy them a meal" AS
pipeful of tobacco costs fraction of
cent and can be readily begged, we are
naturally anxious to know where our
friend takes his meals and what is
the nature of the food he eats.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17

There is an unmistakable sign of lack
of harmony in the Republican ranks!
1t is charged by Republicans and Re-
publican newspapers that other Repub-
licans entered into conspiracy to ST.
lence President Roosevelt and deceive
the people of the United States. They
tried to thwart or spoil some of the
legislation he suggested or planned.
The fact is, the Republican party is
sharply divided into two wings, reform
ers and anti-reformers, Americans and
nti-Americans. 1t is evident that Re-
publican reformers and Americans will
find scant comfort in orthodox Repub-
lican ranks. They should join the De-
mocracy and form an irresistibly effect
i've fighting force.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17

New York school teachers have not
responded with alacrity or enthusiasm
to a proposal to send them to Europe
to study European methods of teach
ing. If the New York school board
will offer to pay their expenses or part
of their expenses to California to study
our methods there will be a different
story to tell. Europe is losing its lure
for the easterner who wishes to travel.
He prefers to see his own great coun-
try before he crosses the Atlantic. He
is right.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17

Since the Parent Teacher association
has been considering the subject "Art
in the School Room" we wonder why
it has not been taken up long ago. If
children on the cars and streets must
be exposed to the influence of advertis-
ing art" that is disgusting, degrading,
demoralizing and immorally suggestive,
by all means counteract it by hanging
decent, inspiring educating pictures on
the walls of schoolhouses. And don't
be niggardly about it.. Be lavish.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
PRISON REFORM

NAURDER should be impossible in
wi the city Jail or any other Jail.
LII That two men should quarrel
about a cot and that one should at
tack the other call to mind the London
Fleet prison in Hogarth's time, not
a jail in one of the most modern cities
in the United States. Generally speak
ing, prison conditions in California are
not what they should be. Stories
printed in the newspapers from time
to time indicate that the philanthropic
aspect of penology has been too much
neglected in this state. In Charles
Reade's famous novel, Never Too Late
to Mend" there is a realistic account
of a torture jacket and the agonies en-
dured by prisoners who were laced up
in it. The brutalities described by
Reade happened forty or fifty years
ago. Before the first edition of the
novel that exposed them was sold,
prison reform had been effected. 1t
would be surprising to find there was
necessity of prison reform in any part
of the United States, If it were not
fact that many of the principles upon
which the republic is founded are more
honored in the breach than in the OBJ
servance. Punishment jackets or any
form of torture should be absolutely
unknown in our civilization. No spe-
cial legislation is needed to forbid them.
They are unconstitutional, un-Ameri-
can and essentially illegal.
Tales told by discharged prisoners or
convicts whose time is expired should
be received with a due allowance for
bias and the desire to get even with
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
Deduction

1.-THE colonel has a bright stenogra-
pher, but she's not very good looking"
know the lady?"
"No, never saw her; never heard of
her; just judged by the old mans ad
dress at the banquet"
you'll have to explain"
"Well. when he read from his manu-
script he didn't split his infinitives,
flyer he murdered the kings English.
Any girl with sense enough to write
such a speech is entirely too clever to
be pretty"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
They'd Keen Ducks

"What's the matter Sellers, couldn't
you find the sort of suburban home
that man wanted?"
mo. He's the first one that ever
got awav from me-
what did he want?"
"He said he wanted a lot on an
island surrounded by water so wide
and so deep his neighbors' hens
couldn't cross and scratch in his
garden"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
Benefits

You can't pick out de kind O. luck dis
world is gwine to bring.
Some folks gifts de white meat, an some
folks git wing;
But even If yoh share of blessin's In dis
life seems small,
It's several million times as good as gilt
tin none at ALL
Washington Star.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
SAVE SOME ROOM, JACK

officials who have enforced rules. But
prison officials themselves should well
come prompt investigation of charges
made by former prisoners From the
viewpoint of society, unusual punish
ment of a physical nature is highly
undesirable. Imprisonment which
takes the last spark of humanity out
of a prisoner is dangerous to society.
Brutal punishment makes brutal man.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
IS PA r M S%]
n Y FROP1 A y ~
W NL1VE WIRE r |
Beiated

tI see the eastern papers have just
discovered trousers are not to be
turned up this summer"
"Well, California turned them down
two months ago. What's the matter
with the eastern forecasters?"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
Came Too Late

when 1 married you I discovered
you hadn't a bit of sense"
"I knew it," replied Mr.. H. Peck,
"but I began to learn right away. But,
alas it was too late"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
Nature Studies

"Why on earth does Miss Mylner
have those sunf1owers. hollyhocks and
cabbages in her back yard?"
"She says 1t gives her inspirations
in the construction and design of
Easter hats"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
ATTRACTING Snakes

Yeast: "It is said that certain kinds
of noises attract snakes"
eCrimsonbeak: "That glug- glug- glug-glug
sound you hear when man Is taking some-
thing out OF a bottle is one of them, sup
pose. ."-Yonkers Statesman.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17

An anti-bill board convention will be
held in Los Angeles next month. Read
ers must be careful not to confound it
with an anti-board bill convention.
There are many people opposed to bill
boards. But public sentiment is prac-
ticalIy unanimous as to the necessity
for the recognition of board bills.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
Perhaps Not

Patience: "They say every gem known
to the lapidary has been found in the United
States"
Patrice: IT doubt IL they have found all
the gems actresses have said they LOST
YonlSers Statesman.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
City TWILIGHT

Behind the wilderness of roofs
The blood red sun sinks down,
The evening bats like timid scouts
Wheel round about the town.
The soldiers of the day retreat
With trailing pennons bright;
Then suddenly rush down the stars,
The legions of the night.
r. W. Kaufman in Broadway Magazine
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
Inspired Moment

Was the historical painter on the
spot when Governor Gillett made that
prophecy of the great Pacific ocean
naval battle? If not what an oppor-
tunity was missedl
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-17
Those Educated Jokes

Tomorrow-Japanese Labor Troubles
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-02-06
To Rural Route Patrons.

Postmaster L. 0. Lawrence desires
to call attention to the practice Of
some patrons of rural delivery of plac-
ing loose coins in their boxes each
time they desire to dispatch letters ms
tead of supplying themselves with post
age in advance of their needs.
This practice imposes undue hardship
on rural carriers in removing loose coins
from boxes and delays them on the SER
vice of their routes.
The postmaster, therefore, urgently
requests that patrons of rural delivery
provide themselves and keep on hand a
supply of stamps consistent with and in
advance of their needs. 1t is also very
desirable that rural patrons place in
their mail boxes small detachable cups
of wood or tin in which to place coins,
when necessary, in punching supplies of
stamps.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-02-06
THE PALM

The Palm, stocked with the best, GU, w.,,
Don't forget the place boys, come In ana !,
Don't pass us by, we sell v o p rye.
And other drinks, when you are dry.
j. b. Hughes will lead the line.
Tom Warner is always on time.
Alma Hansen. known as Shorty he Won't ~.
Our best is expensive, some others ONLY n ~
Crystal Brook. the bell OF Lexlneton
Pennsylvania Club
Diplomatic, I. w. Harper, and Hepstops n.
/, will not accept snub;
Smoke Henry the vi, Blue Point, Leader ,
Baltimore TO stub
Salt Lake City Brewing Co.. Papst and rs
beer, the funny man. known as d.
belong to our club.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-02-06
A New Venture.

A decidedly new impetus has been
recently given the fruit industry OF
Utah county.
For some time past SpriDgville and
Colorado people have been quietly pur-
chasing all the choice lands on north
Mapleton that was offered regardless
Of price. 1t now develops that these
purchases were being made for a few
men who have since organized the In
ternational Toilers' Investment Com.
pany. They now invite the general
public to purchase stock which guaran-
tees Is per cent on the investment;they
also borrow money at 10 per. cent, and
il the principal is left with them for III
consecutive years they give an addi-
tional bonus of 6 per cent per annum.
That this is gilt-edged proposition
there can be no doubt, as the profits
from peaches, cantaloupes and small
fruits, ranges from 80 per cent per an
mum to 200 per cent, and even higher.
The Press hertiiy endorses plan that
will develop our home resources and
thus keep our money at home.
One of the officers of the above
named company visited this Office dur
ing the week, and assured the editor
that Spanish Fork bench would rival
Grand Valley, Colorado, within few
years as fruit center.
We feel justified in calling the pub
lies special attention to this enterprise
as it deserves our support. We take
this opportunity of warning our readers
to let mining stocks alone, as well as
investments that that takes our money
thousands of miles away.
Put your money into choice land Sc
curities, at home, and watch it grow.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-02-06

The more critical illness the greater
need you have for reliable drug store.
The doctor is first of course in sickness
or injury, but drug store like the
World,:and as capable'of supplying med
icines and sick room goods of highest
quality, is prime requisite. You never
need drug store until sickness comes,
then you need good one like The
World Drug Co. of Spanish Fork.