The daily Alaskan., 1908-09-23
The Three Professors.
[copyrIght. lgog. by '. c. MecIure.l

towns was surprised at the arrival of Professor Henry Thorn, botanist, Yale college, and ten days later by the com ing of another professor, who regis tered hlmseli at the same hotel as ''Proressor Charles WItbeck, Criminol oglst, Harvard College" For an hour or two his name on the register ex- cited some little comment. That was because those who read It didn't know whether his profession related to claim Jumping or railroad engineering. The landlord finally explained that q crim- lnologIst was q fellow who had had to jump out of Texas for shooting man and had arrived in Dakota to open q faro game and make q new start in life. That satisfied public curiosity and accounted for the professor stroll ing around the town day md night He also took in all the fine points and particulars.
 The two professors under one roof fought shy of each other for a couple of days. Professors have their jeal, ousleS as well as dime museum freaks though greater efforts are made to con ceal them. At length, however, they introduced themselves and shook hands and began to respect each other. Some professors of botany cant Oc led to admit that there Is anything inter eStIng in anything but their own spe- cial hobby. So with professors of crlmInology. These two professors were different, however. They dc. rerred to each other. They made ad, missions. They permitted each other to talk without Interruption.
 The bOtanist held up q half wiJhered violet that he had cullcd on the prairie and delivered an interesting lecture on It's roots and stem and petals, and the crlmlnologlst described the head and face of the criminal with such clear. ness that had there been an audience present none could have failed to sc. cure mental photograph. The points he made were, first, a slanting fore head: second, a head that ran down hill on the back side; third, the nOr- row space between the eyes; fourth, bulglng over the eyebrows, and, fifth, cruel expression about the mouth In addition to particularlzing these points, he was good enough to say that Professor Thorn didn't betray single one of the characteristics On the con. trary, an infant had only to take one look at him to know that he was as gentle and innocent as woman.
 Professor Thorn couldn't do less than return the compliment. He returned 1t by saying that all flowers represent ed human characters. For instance, the Canadian thistle represented a chuckle headed man, the hurdock q man full of envy and jealousy, the pig weed weakminded person, the holly hook a conceited ass, and so on What typihed the character of Profess or Wltbeck was the lily That stood for purity of soul and thought A man that represented the lily was always subscribing to orphan NsylumS and buying up old horses to turn out to pasture for the rest of their lives Just what the professors said of each other when alone is q private matter The first occasion they had Co d!strus each other was when they met at night in the vicinity of q clothing store One of them had been examining the taS- tenlngs Of a rear window and tho other the fastening of door, Professor Wltbcck observed that he thought the study of botany required daylight, and Professor Thorn replied that he failed .o see how the study of crimnoloGy
 ould be pursued without the aid of a
 intern. There was second meeting ,n a second night. and from thence on he relations between the two great institutions of learning seemed to be
 trained
 It was not to last long, however One night after the hotanlst had spent whole hour to effect an entrance to store by way of skyllght and pho .ographer's pNrlors It was to come upon the crlmlnoloGlst. who had got In by a door and was just preparing to bore the safe. By the aid of two dark lanterns and the English language some very sarcastic remarks were passed as to hypocrisy and false pre- lenses. and then they sensibly agreed to divide the labor and the poodle They were working with this aim aud object in view when third party crcpt out from his hiding place and in- 'crcered. He began by handling his gun in reckless manner and lntrcduc. Ing himself as Professor Twistcr Of Co., rumbia college. He had been dis patched to the great plains of the west to gather specimens of the bygone days when alllgators thirty feet long and elephants twenty.four feet high used to paddle up and down the river and eambol OCT the meadows green. He had finally found q couple of choice specimens, and he badc them come with him. They didn't want to, but tbcy bod to IT wos Iotp hOur but