The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1908-03-25

'.It is such brewers as you with the
big stomachs on them that are driving
the poor people to revolution"
Heard a Cricket.
Mr.. Bowser walked on for half a
mile and then reached the suburbs.
He had no sooner struck vacant prop
erty than the voice Of cricket reach
ed him. It was a plaintive voice. 1t
seemed to say that the watermelon
season was over, mince pies had be-
come the fashion again and that the
world had no longer any use for crick-
cts. Matches in plenty had been
brought along. and the amateur nat
uralist was soon down on his knees
and flashing the light over the grass.
After five minutes he came face to face
with cricket. 1t was an cid she'll
back, who had been hopping about and
singing all summer and now had a
tired and dusty look. He even looked
into Mr.. Bowser's eyes with what
seemed to be an appeal. He didn't
want money, but he certainly had cold
feet and was thinking Of feather beds.
He hadn't burrowed and he hadn't
frozen to death, and the discovery
didn't solve the problem. The insect
had just taken a stiff hoppetytehop
when a gruff voice at MIR. Bowser's
elbow demanded:
"Now, then, what sort of racket is
this? What have you lost here on my
lots that you are lighting matches to
see by?''
"My friend. am looking for crick-
ets," replied Mr.. Bowser as he rose up.
What
Looking for crickets. said"
'aThen you'd better have the keeper
Of an idiot asylum looking for you!
What in the devil do you want Of
cricketsw
.Do you know whether crickets bur-
row in the earth at this time Of year
or simply die Of the col" !"
"Do I know? Do 1 know" shouted
the man as he began to swing his
arms about. "You must think I'm a
lunatic to ask me such question as
that. I'm the owner Of that saloon up
there, and I have no time to be around
bug hunting. By what right do you
come on my property without saying a
word to me?"
"Why, if you are so mighty particu-
lar about IT,
.sWen, I am that, and you get off.
You may be hunting for crickets, and
you may be hunting for geese, and you
can't go too soon to please me-"
Mr.. Bowser went He realized that
row in the neighborhood would dis
turb all the crickets for a mile around.
He continued his walk for half mile
and then turned aside from the street
again There was no saloon in sight,
and the nearest house was forty rods
away. He now caught the voices Of at
least six crickets. and he paused to in
terpret them AS near as he could
make out, half of them wanted hot
beef tea and woolen blankets. and the
other half wanted to borrow spades
and pickaxes to do their burrowing
with. He got down and lighted more
matches, and he was carefully paw
ing over the cold and brittle grass
when he heard horse coming on a
galIop. He had hardly Strengthened
himself up when a mounted policeman
halted beside him and asked:
'sWho are you and what are you do
ing here?"
""Ady names Bowser, and was look
ing for crickets."
Don't try to guy me, old man. I
wasn't born yesterday
perhaps you never heard Of crick-
ct for all that
Arrested by Policeman.
'sOh, yes, I have. I, know a cricket
from an old vag the minute / set eyes
on him You are coming along with
me. You are one Of the feliers that
kept the crime wave going last sum-
mer."
Mr.. Bowser fell back on his dignity.
No 60. Then he tried bluff. Worse
yet. Then he accompanied the officer
back to the saloon and identified him
self and stated his object in such
manner that the cop was finally con-
strained to say:
"Well, wouldn't have believed there
was man fool enough to go hunting
crickets at night, but perhaps you are
all right except being little cracked
in the head. I'll see you home, and II
your wife has good sense she'll keep
you, of the streets O. nights after this"
"Aye, she'll have to-" added the sa-
loonist. I'm sure the old cock was
after my, flock Of geese, no matter
what he says, and if he comes again
I'll jump him seven feet high with
charge of buckshot."
Mr.. Bowser wanted to 60 home alone,
but the officer was taking no chances.
He accompanied him clear to the gate,
advising and warning him ali the way.
and he sat his horse until the door
opened and closed again.
"Well," said Mrs. Bowser as she