Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-09-25
MEMORIES OF A WAR.
A Bit of Humorous Reflection by One
OF the Young Vets.


Fourth of July in my experience" said
he, AN it was OWN to my livin' SO
far from any neighbor thet only tn
highest rockets showed above tn
horizon.
About tn insanest day O. independ.
ence l ever had was ten years ago,
when l was with tn army of invasion
bearin down on Cuby. TIL two trans
ports thet he'd our gallant regiment
aboard laid up at Key West, waitin'
fur further orders.
Shore leave? Nuthin' doin'. But
tn mornin' O. tn Fourth erlong come a
staff officer an asst fer a volunteer
boats crew to row him over to tn
other transport. TIL whole shipload
o sogers stepped forrard an every
body swore he cud row boat. So tn
West an my brothers son Bill as
oarsmen, with Bart, who had ben a
sailor, to steer He picked us out be-
cause we was tn biggest men in th'
regiment an he figgered on putin up
a awful swell front with his four-oared
galley before tn admirin' regiment. Th'
on'y thing tn ship captain wud give
gracefulness wud hev made river
scow look like eight-oared racer.
I'VE all got into tn OIL punt an tn
sailors lowered us into the water.
Then we cast loose tn tackle an was
af1oat on tn wide an lonesome sea.
Port stroke ahead says Bart.
Meanin me?' asts West. Then he
made dab at passin wave, missed
| 1t by three foot an laid down on his
back an stuck his new leggins into
tn air.
Private West sez tn lieutenant,
you sed you cud pull good oar
81 kim sez West, but this. don't
seem to be good oar
"'Wot's tn matter weth ito
9TH blame thing want long enough
to reach thet wave sez West.
"'Well,' sez tn lieutenant, TIL next
wave you want to hook to, pint 1t out
an We'll hold it fer you
"Jes' then Bucks oar disappeared
under tn boat an come up on tn other
side in mos astonishin manner.
bill, who he'd ben a caution to
snakes at paddlin' on tn park lagoons,
seemed to be tryin' to sound tn depth
O. tn Gulf O. Mexico weth his oar,
meanwhile swearin' fit to be tied.
Il hedn't had no accident fer TIL
reason thet / didn't want to wet my
nice, dry oar.
I'VE finally got goin', ev'ry feller fer
hisself, our oars maxim a sound like
single-footer horse sprintin' through
bog.
"W'en tn lieutenant got where he
wanted to go, he toF us to row round
fer spell an practice up, so we cud
take him back in kind O. decent style.
I'VE thought it would be good prac-
tice to row to tn shore, witch was
only about three mile away. So we
started. Th' wind an tide was in
thet direction, so we'd have gone there
anyway. Half way to tn shore we got
among a fleet O. battleships in war
in tn center O. tn feet tn whole
bunch ov 'em turned loose weth all
their biggest cannon all to once.
"Ez soon ez / cud pick myself up |
got on a thwart an TUX off my hat
weth my best bow. This is a most on
expected honor sez l.
"'Git down, you loon, sez Bart.
It's 12 o'clock an they're firin tn ma
tional s'lute.'
"'Jes then tn fleet fired again an
l got down. l mos furgit wot tn ma
tional s'lute is composed of. l think
it's one volley fer each state, two fer
each president an three fer George
Washington. Then they fire one apiece
fer each O. tn presidents cabinet an
tn senators an congressman sep'rate-
Iy, weth a few extry fer tn also-rans
who didn't get no nomination. Then
they finish up by settin' fire to their
surplus supply O. powder. At least
thets wot it sounded like to us.
"On shore we TUX in tn town an ez
many o. tn inhabitants eg was easy.
"W'en we wanted to 60 back to tn
transport we found our hands was so
sore weth rowin thet we cudn't make
start. So we hitched onter a out
ward-bound tug an tn smarty thet
was RUIN 1t pulled us through them
big waves at about a mile minute.
We went to tn ship where we he'd left
tn lieutenant, but they tol' us he had
walked home.
I'VE got to our own transport about
dark an found tn maddest staff officer
in tn service. We toP him thet we he'd
lost our way an was blowed ashore
an he said it wud hev ben a great
thing fer tn army eff we he'd ben
blowed too far to git back."-G. A.
Thompson, in Chicago Daily News.