davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Osage County Volksblatt. (Westphalia, Mo.) 1896-1917, 1908-09-17

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Osage County Volksblatt. (Westphalia, Mo.) 1896-1917, 1908-09-17
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Osage County Volksblatt. (Westphalia, Mo.) 1896-1917, 1908-09-17

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Osage County Volksblatt. (Westphalia, Mo.) 1896-1917, 1908-09-17
lebensuno Feucrver-
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Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
The Polite Finqer Watch.

"Maturin Delafield," said a New
York jeweler. is wearing a finger
watch for politeness. l believe, with
the revival of good manners, the old
fashioned finger watch will grow popu-
lar again."
He took from showcase ring that
held, in the place of a stone, a tiny
watch-a watch about the size of the
usual seal in seal ring.
"The Duke of Wellington wore a
finger watch" he said Thus he could
when time pressed. ascertain the hour
without offense to any. Aside from its
beauty. that is the finger watch's ad.
vantage; you look at it and do not
hurt the sensitive as you would do by
Juggling big turnip out of your vest
pocket.
Wrist or bracelet watches have that
advantage, too; but with us they are
somehow regarded as effeminate
though, the King of Spain wears one,
and in the British army an officer on
duty would as soon appear without his
boots without his wrist watch"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28

Insane newspapers-paperS, that Is,
written and edited by lunatics-are to
be found In nearly every asylum" said
the superintendent. LAS rule, their
contents are commonplace and dull, but
now and then something extraordinary
slips In. A New York asylum's paper
fell on Kipling in this wise on the oc.
casi0n Of his reception at the Nobel
prize"
And the superintendent read:
He Is an embodied fiaScO, dull
dismal. ridiculous fizzle, and all the
Olympian gods at once hunt for de-
cayed eggs. rotten apples and cabbage
stalks to hurl at him. and even the
sweet Graces hasten to load up squirt
gun to drench and drown his barbaric
b0mbast."
"A keeper in Chicago sent me an in
sane paper last week with this pas
sage marked:
'Godlike Robley-Fighting Bob. so
called-stick to the truth on the long
voyage. and the little yellow men. seiz
ing the monkeys tail, will flee to Fiji's
fam
"A Philadelphia asylum's paper said
Of the money scarcity:
THE gold coins value having risen
it beehoves all to squeeze the brown
dollar. thus restoring to the old yellow
stocking some measure of the crimson
gain lost through peculative Wall
Street bulls green gambols and bears
pink raids"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
Curiosities of the Law.

In the issue of January 2Sth of the
New York Times. on the first page,
there appear two rather suggestive re-
ports Of the law as sometimes "she is
administered" One is a lengthy re-.
port Of the recent decision of the Su-
preme Court of the United States hold.
ing that a law which prohibits the dis.
charge of an employe by a railroad
company because he belongs to a labor
organization is unconstitutional. ut
Is not within the functions of govern
ment," say the court in this decision,
ito compel any person in the course of
his business and against his will to
accept or retain the personal services
OF another" Sounds a good deal like
a judicial blow for individual liberty.
But observe the other item. 1t is a
dispatch from Syracuse telling of the
arrest there on criminal indictment OF
the proprietor of millinery store for
discharging an employe for going away
to serve in camp as a militiaman. This
doesn't sound SO much like a blow for
individual liberty.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
WHOLE NUMBER 2,49O.
The Knockout Blow.

The blow which knocked out COrbetN
was a revelation to the prize fighters.
From the earliest days of the ring the
knockout blow was aimed for the jaw,
the temple or the jugular vein. Stomach
punches were thrown in to worry and
weary the fighter, but if q scientific man
had told one of the old fighters that the
most vulnerable spot was the region of
the stomach, he'd have laughed at him
for an ignoramus. DR.. Pierce Is bringing
nope to the public parallel fact; that
thd seQmacA Is the most vulnerable organ
out OF Nhe prize ring as well as in 1t. We
protect Pur heals. throats, feet and lungs.
out theSNananb%e are utterly IndifYer-
ent to. until diseASAfnds the solar plexus
and knocks US out. Make your stomach
sound a1d strong By lRe use q Decor
f!eree-s Golden Medical Discovery, and
You protect EQy1Sell l1 your post Yuller:
able SPOT Golden Medical Discovery
cures weak stomach" Indigestion. or
dyspepsia, torpid liver, bad, thin and i'm
pure blood and other diseases of the or
gans Of digestion and nutrition.
The "GOlden Medical Discovery" has Q
specific curative effect upon all mucous
surfaces and hence cures catarrh, no
matter where located or what stage It
may have reached. In Nasal Catarrh 1t
Is we'll to cleanse the passages with DR..
Sage's Catarrh Remedy fluid while using
the "Discovery as a constitutional rem
edy. Why the Golden Medical Discoy-
cry" cures catarrhal diseases, as Of the
stomach. bowels, bladder and other pelvic
organs will be plain to you II you will
read q booklet of extracts from the writ
ings OF eminent medical authorities, en-
dorsing its ingredients and explaining
their curative properties. It is mailed
free on request. Address DIR. R.V. Pierce,
Buffalo. N. Y. This booklet gives all the
ingredients entering into DIR. Pierce's
medicines from which it will be seen that
they contain not a drop Of alcohol, pure,
triple-retined glycerine being used instead.
DIR. Pierce's great thousand-page Illus
trated Common Sense Medical Adviser
will be sent free. paper-bound, for 2l one
cent stamps, or cloth bound for 81 stampA
Address DR.. Pierce as above.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
HIT NEWSPAPER MEN.
Former President Equal to Occasion
in Gridiron Club.


in Gridiron Club.
1t Is the habit to speak of President
Harrison as the coolest" man who
ever lived in the White House. Time
is mellowing the bitterness OF Harri.
sons critics, says the Editor and Pub.
Usher. and each year he grows big.
ger figure in our history. 1t was said
he could not take a joke or give one
that would make men laugh with
genial warmth. 1t is becoming known
that Harrison had a fine sense of hui
NOR
1t is related that he was called upon
for a speech at the first Gridiron din
ner he attended. He looked around
at the assembled newspaper men and
observed in a quiet way:
This Is the second time this week
have been called upon to open a
congress of American inventors"
That shaft went home, and a shout
of laughter went up.
Mr.. Harrison went on: Il will say
this for you'll have often been i'm
pressed with the accuracy with which
you predict what l am going to do
and still more with the accuracy with
which you subsequently explain why
didn't do it,
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
Rumor.
I fnnfppntf


Rumor is a common noun, singular
and feminine gender-eXcept when 1t
is used by stock gamblers to influence
the market or by statesmen to influ-
ence politics.
Necessity is the grandmother Of
Rumor. because Rumor is the child of
Invention. Considered separately, its
forebears are feminine idlebodies and
masculine busybOdies
The physical properties of Rumor
are UNIQUE and interesting. 1t is more
potent than fact, attains to a greater
velocity than electricity. cannot be re-
duced to syllogism. feeds on emotion.
sleeps with one eye open. gathers
strength with age. and dies of pune
tured drOpsy.
Rumor is like Santa Claus. We know
its general tendencies. but not it's
specific origin. All we know of rumor
is hearsay. No one has ever been ar
rested for stealing it, as the original
owner is always unwilling to claim 1t.
Rumor is predatory. Its chief quar-.
ries are lovers (married or single)
preachers. social leaders. policemen,
politicians, and people. It's bitterest
foe is Rumor Therefore Rumor should
always be treated homeopathically. Its
motto is. relate referO ipsisSimis verbis.
which ought to mean: Don't believe
half you hear. and forget the other
half"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
These Married Men.

That excellent actress, Clara Blood.
good. sat beside me one night at a din.
ner." said Philadelphia playwright,
and with the fish some one began to
talk about wifely extravaganza.
Mrs. Bloodgood listeneded to tale
after tale of the ruinous extravaganza
OF wives, and finally she said:
Wives extravagance-oh, yes! You
men are all alike. You are all like
the broker who, at midnight in his
club. hiccoughed, wiped his eyes, and
said brokenly:
This is the sixth bottle of cham.
payne I've drunk today, all through my
wife making me lose my temper. 1t
Is terrible wnat lot of money that
woman costs me-"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
Some Common Phrases Explained.

PITY Is akin to love-" And a mighty
poor relation.
Every man has his price" Except
ing always those who give themselves
away.
"A complication Of diseases" What
a man dies of when the doctors don't
know.
Riches have wings" But the mil
lionaries' sons usually open the cage
doors.
Ignorance is bliss" 1t must be,
Judging from the happy expressions of
the majority.
Love laughs at locksmiths" With
a milllner. grocer, and ice-man. how
ever. he is usually serious.
Truth is stranger than fiction" Or
does it only seem so because We have
less chance to get we'll acquainted with
It?
Hope buoys us up every day we
live. 1T is like the wing of an angel
soaring up to heaven, and bearing our
suppliant messages to the throne of
God" Hope should be cultivated. for
it strengthens other graces. What
ever enlarges hope will also exalt cour.
age" Where hope is not, endeavor is
mot. The hopeless are the helpless.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
Mysterious Eifures.

Put down the number of your liv-
ing brothers.
Double the number.
Add three.
Multiply result by five.
Add number of living sisters.
Multiply result by ten.
Add number of dead brothers and
sisters.
Subtract 100 from the result.
The right-hand figure will be the
number of deaths.
The middle figure will be the mum.
ber of living sisters.
The left-hand figure will be the
number of living brothers.
Strange freak of figures. isn't it,
Ina population Of about four mil
lion in Canada, there are l32, 900 NOR,
men than women.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28

When man first starts on life's rougl
WAY,
! His infant voice sounds shortened A.
He grows apace. The great world
! show
Makes him his wonder sound in o.
And grown to manhood, bye and bye,
The one he uses most is |.
The Democrats of Seattle will b,
strictly Democrats, and at the com
ing Seattle city election will vote a.
one man for Gen. Mctcalfe for Mayor
of the Queen City.
You can't make a man good by
legislating. If laws were alway:
observed and never broken, @hat
would become of lawyers? They
would starve. perhaps.
A subscriber who will take IA paper
for two or three years, not Offering
to pay for it, should not be called ;
delinquent. Not on your tin-typc
He should be called newspaper
thief, and strung up by the vigilance
association.
The OstentatiOus Philanthropist
/ can say positively that there is
less suffering among the poor this
Winter.
The Listener: Yes, | presume a
good many of them have starved to
death.
Drastic restrictive laws hamper
the administration of Justice and, in
providing the necessary safeguards
for the innocent. they unavoidably
contain loOpholes for technical OBJ
jectiOns and harrassing postpone
ments on the part of the guilty.
In England some time ago a man.
of-war was launched at which there
was an elaborate religious ceremony
on sending her forth to her work of
death. More recently ship intend
ed for useful and peaceful purposes
was launched and there were no
prayers at all, and | am informed
that all of England's war ships are
officially blessed with prayer before
launching them. Meantime the ships
that she builds for industrial pur-
poses and every one of which is a
genuine agent of peace, are sent down
into the deep prayerless. This age
presents some queer spectacles for
the curious and the thoughtful.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
THE VERY BEST.

lnv. those witty ,iittics
One falls on here and there,
The kind that makes one chuckle,
Light, chic and dehonair,
And, tou, those LAYS OF pathos,
\ sob each line between
But best are these | write myself,
Then wonder what they mean.
Some bardlets make me pensive,
Some fill me full of fight,
Some bear me To Olympus
In golden pinioned flight,
Some breath of truths eX alted
In lowlv life serene
But best are those l write myself,
Then wonder what they mean.
For there's one thing more easy
Than reading verse, kind friend,
'Tis writing poems deeper
Than men can comprehend,
And that is why the classics
read with relish keen
Particularly those | write myself,
Then wonder what they mean.
Dear Muse, think you Ill compass
Beyond the dim unseen,
Those choicest bits | write myself
Then wonder what they mean?
-Luc T.. Vernon.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
THE TATTERED FLAG.
Memento of the War of 1912 Brouoht
Back to This country-Inter-
esting Facts.

! odSS 10 ms Country-Inter-
esting Facts.
Whether Cornelius Vanderbilt OF
j. PierpOnt Morgan bought the flag OF
the old Chesapeake lately sold by auc
tion, in England, is not finally settled
but it is certain that the tattered old
remnant of silk will be brought back
TO the United States.
! Although sadly weather-worn and
/ stained. the flag is in remarkably good
condition. The fifteen stars are easily
distinguishable. The stripes have fad
ed somewhat. Near the center of the
| flag are two holes, evidently made by
bullets. There is also an unmistak.
| able stain of blood on the flag.
The memento recalls one of the STIR
! ring naval battles of the second war
with Great Britain.
The engagement in which the Chesa-
peake was captured by the Shannon
was one of the most thrilling in the
War Of 1872. Captain Lawrence went
to meet the frigate Shannon, full of
confidence. At the critical stage of
the duel, Captain Lawrence discovered
that there was a plot about among the
crew to mutiny.
During brief lull in the engage
ment, In which the captain tried to
nanifV hic hn nrsf CT,
seeing the advantage. made straight
for the Chesapeake. A desperate,
bloody. handto-hand fight ensued
Captain Lawrence uttered his famous
order as his men carried him, fatally
wounded, below decks.
Shortly afterward the Chesapeake's
flag was pulled down and the trium-
phant crew of the Shannon took DOS
session.
A strange fate befell the Chesapeake
after it was taken to British waters.
For five years it lay in harbor at
Portsmouth. its blood-stained, battle
SCARED decks about as they were
found after the battle.
The old flag was kept afloat over the
ship at half mast and no British sea-
man could be induced to tread its
decks. Those who approached the ship
came with weird stories of having
heard Captain Lawrence's voice, as
though coming from the tomb. The
ship was considered haunted.
Eventually the frigate was sold to
broker for $4,000 and he doubled the
figure by selling her to a firm of house
builders. The ship had cost the United
States government $l5O,OOO to build.
In 1920 John Prior, the miller, of
Wickham. England. bought the ship
from the house builders, and from its
timbers erected mill. He found the
timbers admirably adapted for the pur-
pose. The deck beams. 80 feet long
and Is inches square were placed un-
altered horizontally in the mill. The
purlins Of the deck, about IL feet long,
served without alterations for joists
Most of these timbers still bear the
marks Of the Shannon's grapeshot, and
the stains of blood are to be plainly
SEEN
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
Unselfish Man,

James ]. Hill, the railway magnate,
during a recent visit to Kansas City,
said of certain rise in stock quota
tions:
1t looks well, but am afraid it is
dubious. Yes, it is dubious. 1t re-
minds me of the Turkish bashaw
and his wife.
A Turkish bashaw lay dying.
He summoned to him the youngest
and fairest of his 46 wives, and said
to her in a low, weak voice:
Put on your richest costume,
your most brilliant jewels. Deck
your hair with pearls and brighten
your fingertips with henna.'
The young wife blushed. Even
in her grief she was tlattered.
"' And why, my lord, she said,
do you desire me to make this sump-
tuous toilet?'
So that Death. when he comes,
the man replied, seeing you SO beau
tiful, may perhaps, carry you off in
stead OF me-"
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
M'2sN}p0toa S t'lnlar1
lSs.to tGtRY FRIDAY EVtslss sY
JOHN MILLER MURPHY

EiltOI aud Proprietor

subscription Rates.
Per year. in advance ..............-. II 30
Six months, in advance ..... ....... 10
Advertising Rates
One square tinch) per vear..-... fiI W. W.
per quarter y"
Onp square, one Insertion. W
- subsequent insertions 'o
ADVERTISING four squares or upward bv
the year, At liberal rates.
La..l notices will be charged TO the
att ,rnay or officer authorizing their inser-
tin
4 ivartSements sent from distance,
and transient notices must he accoHpan-
81 bF the cash.
\unlunrementS OF marriages, Dirths
and iaAths inserted free.
O ,ituary notices, resolutions Of respect
and 9th IT articles which do not possess
general interest will he inserted At one
halfthe rates for business advertisements.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
Dressing for Boiled Effs.

-Four eggs, four tablespoons vine
gar, one teaspoon salt, one teaspoon
sugar; boil to custard; stir sugar and
eggs separately, pour on mustard
and vinegar, then add salt. When
cold, add one pint whipped cream.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
Bruises and Olive Oil.
To Keep Sandwiches Fresh.

If one is busy sandwiches may be
made eight or ten hours before one
wishes to use them, and can be kept
from becoming stale and dry by COW
ering them with damp cloth. Pile
the sandwiches closely and compactly
ON u platter and cover with a towel
which has been wrung out of cold wa
ter Tuck the towel closely about
them and set in u cool place.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
INDY

In short such variety as is to be fcmnG
IN weli.regulsted Drug and StatiOner v
STORE, all offered at lowest prices. con-
sistent with quality, with prompt an d
efficient service assured to all patrons.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
To Clean Furniture.

Furniture needs cleaning as much
as any other woodwork. 1t may bt
washed quickly with warm soapsuds
and then wiped dry. Rub with an
oily cloth. To polish it rub with
sweet oil and rotten stone. Clean of
the oil and polish with a chamois skin.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
Cough on the Lunfs.

Take a teacupful of fiaxseed and
boil it an hour in a quart of water;
then squeeze the juice of three lemons
and add. Then add pound OF
crushed sugar and make syrup. This
remedy will cure a bad cough on the
lungs.
Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-28
STUDEBAKER
Wagons and Carriages

Corner Third and Columbia Streets,
Olympia, Wash.
Canyon City news. (Canyon City, Tex.) 1903-1908, 1908-08-28
YOUNG MAN HURT.
Horse StumbIes and Falls with Rider
With Serious Results.

Last Thursday night as he was
returning to his home about 9
o'clock the horse which Wilburn
Sales was riding hung his foot
under the rail of the track of the
PecoS Valley Railway just west
of the stock pen, and fell with
his rider.
No accurate account of the ac-
cident can be given at this time,
is Mr.. Sales had not up to yes
tcrday, recovered sufficiently to
to make a statement. His face
was badly diStigured and the at
tending physician says that he is
suffering from a concession of
the brain, the conclusion being
on the forehead.
Mr.. Sales tried to 90 toward
home, but crawled about fifty
yards from where the accident
occurred and laid there all night.
and was found by his father the
next morning. The physician
seems to think that this compli-
Gates the trouble to some extent