Bonners Ferry herald. [volume] (Bonners Ferry, Idaho) 1904-current, 1908-05-23

Some people make the mistake Of
they are slow.
Dyer-Do you think the time win
come when we shall have universal
peace7 Ryer-Not unless we adopt
trial marriages.-Town Topics.
please give me two bills for my hat,
one for ten dollars to show my hus-
band, and one for twenty to show my
lady friends. "-Meggendorfer Blaetter.
do you really love me. John?" "Oh.
no. l wear these summer pants and
this tramp overcoat merely to appear
eccentric, that's ll."-Washington Her
aid
do you believe that men and WON
en- should have equal rights" well
used to, but since I've been married
l don't dare to say So" - Cleveland
Loader.
Mrs. Houlihan (sobbing)-I never
saw we till TIL day before me unforch-
nit marriage. Mr.. Houlihan-An'
often wisht ye hadn't seen me till TIL
day after Puck.
Phoebe-You would hardly know
Freddy since he got back from Monte
Carlo. He lost all his money there,
and Evelyn-Hardly know him !
Why, shan't know him at all Illus
trated Bits.
Old Hunks-When l came to this
town sixteen years ago real estate in
the block where I live was higher
} priced than it is now. Old Hewligus-
1t would be so in any block where you'd
settle down.-Chicago Tribune.
Officer" said the police magistrate,
what is the charge against the pris-
oner?' Having an Internal machine
, in his possession, your honor" replied
the policeman. Anarchist or chauf-
feur?" queried the magistrate.-Chica-
go Daily News
Father-If you marry my daughter,
are you sure you will be able to take
, care of her In the style to which she
l has always been accustomed? Suitor
r (who is in the wholesale business)-
. III guarantee it, sir, or-or return the
BOOuS.--tlch- A1e-Cp.
, ''You said that If l bought this sub
urban house | could live like prince
! With malaria and automobiles, I'm II
fear for my life!" well" answered
the agent, soothingly, think of the
8 princes who live in fear Of their lives
Washington Star.
Mr.. Stub with illustrated weekly.
e Martha, here is a picture entitled
t Docking an Ocean Greyhound" Mrs
: Stub (haring up)-I just don't wan
: to see it. l think there should be I
= law against clipping of a poor dog
tail.-Chicago News
a Would you send a man who use
d profanity to Congress?" Il dunno,
h answered Farmer Corntossel. 20
course, l don't approve of profanity
. but I'd want him to be able to hold hi
!, own in any of them arguments tina
come p."-Washington Star.
: Mrs. Gadsby Outgoing dog)-I don
: know what we're going to do abou
poor, darling Fidol Mr.. Gadsby-
% Humph! What ails him? Mrs. Gads
by Gin surprised why, haven't you nc
a ticed how irritated he becomes wher
ever the baby >cries?-Puck.
Mrs. Spenders-I wonder how you
like 1t II l ever got "new-womanish
+ and Insisted upon wearing men
+ clothes? Mr.. Spenders-Oh, l haven
= any fear of you ever doing that. Men
r clothes are never very expensive
o Catholic Standard and Times
= Mr.. Ryley-Why are yez decoratin
o Mrs. Murphy7 Mrs. Murphy-Me b.
n Denny Is comm home the day. Mr.. RJ
o ley fought 1t wuz for foive years b
y wuz stint up? Mrs. Murphy-Me wuz
7. but he got year Off for good behay
Il vure. Mr.. Ryley-An' sure 1t must b
a great comfort for We to have goo
o h'v like that-London Tit-Bits.
r do you mean to tell me you hay
II lived In this out-of-the-way place fc
twenty years? That's right, straI
1. ger; twenty years" But l don't sc
u what you find to keep you busy.
(, Nothing stranger. That's the reaso
like it."-Louisvllle Herald.
% Yes said Miss Jlltnam, ne was a
D old fame of mine. And when you tol
him l was to be married next weel
q did he seem sorry?" Eyes, he admi
t ted that he felt sorry" replied Mis-
Cable. did he, really?" Eyes, a
though he said he didn't know you
!. nance onally."-Catholic Standar
y --~ Zines
.sYou'u have to send for another do
tor" said the one who had been GALES
- after a glance at the patient Am
40 sick as that" gasjed the suffere
u II don't know just how sick you are
- REPLIED the man Of medicine, but
E know you're the lawyer who crosse
amined me when / appeared as an e.
.o-+ x,yitpasa NV conscience won't |,