davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
And all quality, Pride, ponnp, and circumstance Of sio- rIous warl -Otneho'
Senator iAIdrich's Bill

Senator Aldrich's bill does not pro vide a new monetary system. It sim ply proposes to get ready for issue at any time s'within forty-eight hours" $500. 100000 of new money. This money Is to be issued to the national banks. and it is to bear per cent in- terest. This rate of interest is put on in order to secure the retirement of the new money as rapidly as possible after an emergency has passed by. There is no expectation apparently that it would prevent the occurrence of an emergency. It simply aims to relieve an emergency that has arisen. This is not what the country wants, but it is probably all it will get from a president-making Congress.
 Besies the acceptance of municipal bonds as a basis for the issue of the proposed circulation the secretary ot 
 treasury is authorized to accept first class railroad bonds" Herein we have the very germ and substance of the Aldrich bill, and the battle in Con- gress over it will turn on the railroad bond feature of the bill. This is the feature of it that pleases Wall street.
 Senator Bailey shows that the rail road-bond section is so drawn that the bonds of only two railroads in the south would be accepted as basis of currency issues-those of the Illinois Central and of the Louisville and Nashville It is very plain that bond clause which shuts out the bonds of all southern railroads but two needs amendment, and Senator Aldrich inti- mates that the finance committee of the Senate is considering amendments of the section in question.
 The bill has a hard road to travel, and if it should go through it would not be apt to offer much if any more aid than was secured in November and December through gold imports and the efforts of Secretary Cortelyou. It is but makeshift measure.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
Mortuary Statistics

The appointment of Dr. Williamson to the post of state registrar of nor tuary and vital statistics is in accord ance with an act of the last legisla- ture. The registrar will compile all needful details of every birth and ev- cry death in this state. These details will be reported to the state health department by the county health off, cers. The county health officers re- ceive additional compensation and the state registrar will see that statistics come along promptly and fully. The facts required in the case of birth are it's date, color and sex, the ages of the father and the mother, the number of the birth to both father and mother. When death occurs it's cause must be stated, the age of the dead person, the duration of illness and the place of burial. All these facts will be tabulated by Registrar Williamson and kept for use and ready reference.
 This change puts Alabama in line with the progressive states in the mat ter of mortuary and vital statistics. The appropriation of the last legisla- ture will assuredly be repeated in the future, and in that way a careful re- cord will hereafter be kept in this state of all births and deaths. It is an excellent step, and the annual re- port of the state registrar will be- come a document of general interest.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Needed Reform.

If Congress acts favorably on the rec concentrations of the commission appoint ed to report plan for recognizing the zen, "the positions of assistant postmast- CTS general will be abolished. and that should mean substantial reform.
 Among the recommendations of the commission in it's preliminary report to Congress is that a director of the post office department shall be appointed for long term, who shall have full authority to administer the entire postal business of the country, the postmaster general, as a cabinet officer. to outline only the general policy of the administration. The plan provides that the chief director shall have the selection of assistant directors, who would presumably be non-partisan, and be appointed for indefinite periods or to serve during good behavior
 ''The assistant postmasters general have been, as a rule. honest and competent men, but within the past 20 years many of them have been machine politicians. It has. been a scandal in more than one ad- ministration that an assistant postmaster general has spent the greater part Of his time politicating, instead of attending to the business for which the government paid him. In a presidential election off, ficials of the department have busied themselves fixing up delegations to the national convention of the party in power. Of course. this Is all wrong. and the sooner the custom is reformed the better for the public
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
CHICAGO'S HUMORlSTS

the hall boy The officer put me under arrest came into the apartment and told me in surly tones to get into my clothes. I sent the boy for MT. Bemis but he had disappeared I demanded to see the war rant and l was shown sure-enough doc ument, properly made out and signed by a magistrate. It looked regular, bore my name and charged me with criminal libel.
 In vain I tried to get into telephonic communication with two lawyers known to me; but the messages never got beyond the ground floor of the Richelieu. Finally I was rather rudely led to the elevator. taken down stairs and bundled into cab. The driver had had his orders, obviously. for he whipped up his horses and dashed away at high speed. Finally turning into a narrow alley, he stopped before dis reputable doorway.
 Where have you brought me?" I de- manded.
 ITO the magistrates" was the reply.
 We entered an ante-room. and beyond the closed door sounds of hilarious revelry were heard. It didn't look like magis- trate's court, but Chicago is different from some other towns.
 ''Go inside and tell his honor that I have the prisoner here," said the officer to a frowsy attendant. The young man disappeared and hush at once fell upon the multitude assembled within. The fiunkey reappeared. The door was thrown wide open, I was marched down to the center of long, broad table and formal ly surrendered to the-Whitechapel club. I was seated under moose that had hanged a man; behind me upon the wall was black cap that had hidden the awful death agonies of another unfor- tunate fellow creature.
 had told the cabby to wait; but when the stars were singing together, at about a. m., the cabman insisted upon driv- ing up the steps of the Leland house, be- cause he asserted that it was short cut inte the Richelieu.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
Araument for Police.

friend of the police force expresses his sentiment this way: Twelve hours through sleet, rain and cold, 12 hours of precipitation under the summer sun i; coat buttoned tight, shoes shined. standing collars; can't lean against a post or building. can't talk politics; must look out for the captain, always in politics, the victim of his superior's spleen, notions and squabbles a target for the criminal. the peoples bulldog to fight the criminal and be cuffed by the citizen, who curses him behind his, back, in other words. the blue coated cop.
 These are some of the attributes of the officers whose time is about to be extended to 12 hours service. While the city needs the money, there is a little sentiment noticeable In favor of the quiet force which is working along trying to keep its nose out of the grist mill. Some say that they have a little argument on tn cir side"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
Southern War Claims

The pending bill relating to war claims appropriates nothing directly, although 1t covers claims amounting to fully s1o,OOO,OOO due to southern claimants. The bill gives the court of claims jurisdiction of the cases arising from captured and abandoned proper ty during the war. This property was sold by the government, and the pro- ceeds turned into the treasury. The pending bill aims to have the just claims on account of that property adjudicated by the court of claims. Claimants were permitted to establish claims for period of two years after the end of the war, but in that period
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
Great Crowds cominq.

According to advices from Confeder- ate veterans organizations said Capt. J: l.: Darby yesterday, the reunion in Birmingham in June will be one of the largest ever held. Great interest is being manifested throughout the south. A let ter just received by a member of Camp Hardee is from J. Ogden Murray of Charlestown, ". Va, secretary of the Immortal GOO asking for information with a view of arranging for quarters. MT. Ogden intimates that his society will come several hundred strong. The I'm mortal 600 were officers placed on Morris island in 1864 by order of Secretary of War Stanton to receive the fire of our own guns. Should there be any officers who formed part of that heroic body of men living in Alabama they are re- quested to report to MT. Ogden.
 T have heard from Forests men in Mississippi. They are coming to the re- union in large numbers and many of them will make the trip on horseback so as to take part in the mounted division. Every thing looks extremely bright for the gath ering of the old soldiers of the Confeder- acy. and all we need pray for is fair weather''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
SEVENTY YEARS OF HEALTH.

From the Washington Post.
 When a man has lived for 70 years and not had days illness in all that time, he has had more pleasure in life than could be purchased with s1,000, ,O0O," said Judge J. J. Hoyt of Duluth, Minn., at the Raleigh. That is my case. I would not take a million dollars, if it were physically possible, for me to live my life over again, and be deprived of the enjoyment I have had"
 Judge Hoyt, who was formerly on the bench - Michigan, has lived in Minne- sota for number of years. He has used tobacco a greater part of his life, and this. he says. has given him much en- joyment.
 There are many worldly pleasures that some persons do not have because they are pessimists,' continued the judge. But if one will only take the proper view of life, there are enough good things in this old world of ours for every per son to make In money value more than s1,000,000. I presume there are some in dividuals who do not get penny's worth of enjoyment out of life. I pity them. Every person starts out with an equal opportunity of getting as much fun as other persons. There are many different ways of enjoyment, and what might ap- pear pleasure to one would be caviar to the general But the main proposition holds-there is enough opportunity in every persons life to make him happy Sorrow should come only by reason of the death of dear ones; all other suffering can be and should be dismissed"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
THE cosTERMoNGER.
Meeting of the Regulars" 10 London
 Destroys Some DeIusions.
rom the New York Times.

From the New York Times.
 London-A meeting of the Costermon- gers union took place the other evening at the Three Nuns in Aldgate to pro- test against the new anti-Sunday trad ing bill Some strangers were present out of curiosity. They had expected to and women in curious costumes decorated with large pearl buttons-a picturesque gathering of 'Enrys and Lizas with a little "nipper'' or two, and the quaintness of slang and countenance chaff, humor and pathos made so familiar by Albert Chevalier and his songs They were doomed to disappointment
 They found the meeting shade more respectable than such meetings usually are. The costermongers and street trad CTS present night well have been grocers or drapers or publicans They wore coats with velvet collars. Many of them arrived in top hats. Across their elegant fancy vests were slung heavy gold watch chains. About their wrists gleamed im- maculate shirt cuffs. Upon their fingers sparkled diamond rings It was diff cult until the speaking began to believe that one had come to the right meet ing.
 Yet they really were what tbe circular called them-"costermonger and street sellers" You see that smart looking chap in the high collar, with froek coat on and the shiny black hair and the carefully trimmed mustache?" asked one who knew them all by sight. That l barrow. I see him often on a Monday morning carrying his pack on his back.r And he looked like a prosperous broker There's another over there." pointing
 out dapper looking young man with thoughtful expression in a black morn ing coat. He Is in the ffteen-and-six penny suit business in 'Petticoat Lane.' You can hear him any Sunday morning. bawling for all he's worth"
 Still one hoped these might be merely the leading members of the profession. Hopes rose high when an old man with
 neckerchief came in. But they were
 doomed to disappointment. He was the only. man present without collar. As for the spokesman of the Costermongers' union, he positively had a strong ''Ox- ford accent" With his quiet voice and sober dress he might have beensAn orator at the union. It was an evening of bit- ter disillusionment all around.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
A SAILORS RISE.
Captain of the Mauretania Rose From
 a Cook.

 From the February Broadway Magazine. There seems to be something about the sea that keeps mems heads in more or less normal relation to the rest of their bodies. Certainly no more modest man can be found anywhere than Capt. John Pritchard of the Mauretania, the largest ship afioat, which took away from her sister ship, the Lusitania, the eastern rec- ord on her first trip. Captain Pritchard is one of the most interesting examples of the value of modest devotion to the duties of the strenuous life. Born in Wales 63 years ago, he had at the age Of 12 to choose between the workhouse, as an orphaned charge upon the community, and the cooks galley on little Car- narvon sailing vessel named the Gleen, at the munifcient salary of 12 shillinss a week. Fortunately for those of us who go down into the sea in ships he chose the latter, and has gradually worked his way up from this low rung of the ladder to one of the two most important com- mands in the mercantile marine service of the world.
 The keynote of his character 10 struck in the remark said to have been made by him to a friend recently; q wear ths same sized hat that I did when was sec- ond officer of the Umbria. In any event next year his head will fit into a com- modores hat and none will .grudgs him this new honor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13

The Post says this table was com piled by committee of unprejudiced experts, and it is probably as good a guess in February of what will be done in June as can be made. The table nominates Hughes without inn pairing Taft's original strength. It is based on the well-lnown fact that the republican party can be trusted to nominate its best vote-getter, and Taft is not the man. He has offended organized labor and the negroes in the northern states, and the experts say he is not a winner.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13

THE CHAP WHO DISAGREES. He won't agree to anything. If good or bad.~> It takes a heated argument To make him glad. He'll stand and howl that black is
 white
 Or white Is black, Ad while he's clearly in the wrong, Won't take 1t back. He wastes lot of golden time In idle words. His talk is arrant tommyrot-- At least thirds. His eyes are crosse4, he thinks thAt
 way.
 Or so appears His presence casts a damper, but It never cheers. He seldom rises hie,I-I guess The reasons plain. So oft he thrashes trifles out And OCT again. No one can do much good in life Your pardon, please,- Who simply knocks for exercise And disagrees.
 PLAYING OUT THE FARCE. In this world the most exquisite hu- nor Is often cloak wrapped round broken heart
 THE HESITATOR. He hated to change his position, be-
 cause
 He feared that he might starve 10
 death, And in business affairs So prolonged were his cares That hc scarcely had time for
 breath. His health wasn't good in the place
 where he lived. His prospects you wouldn't call
 bright, But he hadn't the mind To leave it behind And look for promising site. In casting his vote he was greatly
 upset
 To pick out the man of his choice. But in matters of state, Ii 1t were early or late, He wouldn't dare lift up his voice. For years he considered the taking
 wife
 And pondered the mate he would
 choose, But he couldn't decide On a girl for his bride Who'd keep him from having the
 'blues. So he went through this valley of sor-
 row and tears. A cuitter, the time speeding by. And the neighbors all say When 1t came his last day He even hesitated to die! 
 THE LATE COLD SNAP. Now is the time to clutch Atlanta, remarked the Storm King. seeing the old town dry Thereupon he clutched.
 FORGE OF HABIT I'm tired of life,'' a broker said Who felt the recent slump. Just then an auto blew "Honk! Honk"- You should have seen him jump!
 THEN IT IS DEAR. ''Talk is cheap 'Iye heard that before" Except when you want to work"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
AUcAssIN AND NIcoLETTE.

By Edmund Clarence Stedman
 Within the garden of Beauchaire He met her by a scret stair
 The night was centuries ago!
 Said Aucassin My love, my pet, These old confessorS vex me sol They threaten all the pains of hell Unless l give you up, ma belle!''- Said Aucassin to Nicolette.
 Now who should there in heaven be To fill your place, ma tres-douce mic? To reach that spot little care! There all the droning priests are met; All the old cripples, too, are there That unto shrines and altars cling To filch tho Peter-pence we bring Said Aucassin to Nicolette.
 There are the barefoot monks and friars With gowns well battered by the briars, The saints who lift their eyes and whine; 1 like them not. starveling set
 Who'd care with folk like these to dine? The other road 'twere just as well That you and I should take, ma belle;" Said Aucassin to Nicolette.
 ITO purgatory I would so
 With pleasant comrades whom we know; Fair scholars. minstrels, knights
 Whose deeds the land will not forget, The captain of hundred fights, The men of valor and degree,
 We'll join that gallant company"-
 Said Aucassin to Nicolettt.
 There, too. are jousts and joyance rare, And beauteous ladies debonair
 The pretty danes, the merry brides, Who with their welded lords coquet And have friend or two besides And all in gold and trapplngs gay
 With furs and crests in vair and gray Said, Aucassin to Nicolette..
 Sweet players on the. cithern strings, And they who roam the world like kings Are gathered there, so blithe and free; Pardie! I'd join them now, my pet If you went also, ma douce mic, The joys of heaven I'd forego To have you with me there below"- Said Aucassin to Nicolette.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
AROUND THE COUNTRY

Savannah Press; Frank Munsey, who made his fortune out of fiction. says Roosevelt is the one best bet.
 Spokane Spokesman-Review: Lillian proves that she has brains as well as voice.
 Atlanta Georgian: A Michigan school boys pants were discovered ablaze. The teacher extinguished but did not start the confagration.
 Dallas News: The average housewife in this country would rather have one solid brass bedstead than two lowery beds of ease.
 Charleston News and Courier: Should New York lapse into the lynehing habit we predict that the first victim will be found in Syracuse.
 Richmond Times-Dispatch Nor is Ad- mral Brownson at all the sort of man to get up something crushing in the way of a comic valentine.
 11OulSNllle 3OQTleT-JOuTflais OT. hurst who deplores the emptiness of the idle rich, ought to take a peek at a steam yacht taking on cargo of cham pagne for winter cruise.
 Houston Post: Phoebe Couzins Is saying things about the Womens Christian Tenn perance Union that no man would think of saying but there's many man that's glad Phoebe is saying them.
 New Orleans Times-Demoerat: The National Congress of Mothers will be held in Washington next month and the President will hardly overlook the op- portunity to write another message.
 Washington Post A prisoner at Mar shall, Mich. is reported to have eaten three electric light bulbs in an effort to commit suicide. Possibly he thought 8 light diet like that would result in star vation.
 Florida Times-Union: Isn't it rather rubbing it in on Fairbanks for those Texans to organize a buttermilk club and elect him as a charter member? Next thing we know some bunch of Georgians will be organizing Fairbanks Cocktail club
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 It's about as useful to think you are genius as to be one.
 A woman wants you to give her her way so she can give the children theirs.
 The envy of those who lack a thing is a large part of it's value to those who possess it.
 man gives the grandfather the blame for his failings and himself the credit for his grandchildren's good looks.
 When woman does something foolish the only way you can convince her you never lie is to tell her she didn't
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
Large Loans Placed.

Business is good in our line" said Leo K. Steiner of Steiner Bros, bankers. "Our house has placed some large east ern loans on Birmingham real estate within the past few days and the out look for continued activity in this branch of our business is highly encouraging. Other agents of foreign capital have also been busy recently. This shows that con- fidence is being fast restored.
 "A month ago 1t would have been im- possible to have negotiated loans that are easily arranged now"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
May Become Active Suddenly.

Although the pig iron market is fiat now, with no indications of revival in the immediate future, 1t may become active again very unexpectedly said a sales official of one of the large conn panies. "I have known 1t to be just as quiet as it has been this month and all of a sudden strong buying movement set in without any signs in advance Act i've markets frequently come in that way.
 Sales within the past two weeks have been at s13.50 on a No. basis, but they have been in small lots"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
Problem In Proportion.

A graduate in mathematics offers the following problem in proportion:
 'If the President writes three columns of denunciation of a man, when 1t is doubtful whether the man Is worth mo- ticing how many columns will he write against an antagonist who is certainly not worthy of notce?'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13

Taft pocketed the Ohio delegates and it is no longer the field against Fairbanks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13
On The Ennrfh RalIat

Straw votes and presidential predic- tions are as thick as flies in July, and the Washington Post tops them all by producing a full vote of the Chicago convention. as follows:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13

Greater Pittsburg is reducing it's debt at the rate of over million a year. It should also reduce the num- Der of its social scandals in equal pro portion.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13

The presidents latest message is ad- dressed to My Dear MT. Foulke" in stead of Congress, but it gets to the people just the same, and that is the object of all messages.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-02-13

Germany is a leader is scientific sanitation, and it has begun the steril- ization and pasteurization of apple cider without detracting from the we'll known effects of the hard article.