Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-10-15
n Case Of
Woman Hating.
tOriginall ]

Il am n philosopher" said Colonel
Donovan, "and no man can be that
without being woman hater. A man
doesn't get to be philosopher till he
is past middle age. Then he begins to
see the shallowncss Of earthly eNpccta-
tions and enjoyments. 1t is the same
with his views of woman. In youth
he looks upon woman-women who,
like himself, have not grown old; OF the
older ones he takes no account-as
something so pure and holy that he is
unworthy to tie her shoe. But when
the day comes for him to associate
with those who have turned thirty five
he has no use for them. His mother,
his sister, his wife? oh, they are Il
part Of himself They are not in the
world Of romance, but of family af-
fection."
Now, the colonel, despite his hobby
this belief that he really hated the soft
er sex-was an excellent man. He had
been Tilted in his youth by girl who
was unworthy Of him, and strange to
say, she was to him in his maturity
the only saint in the lot.
The remarks quoted above were
made to the majors wife, who, sy the
way, was a warm friend and admirer
of the colonel, preliminary to asking
her to get him a housekeeper, 1t was
a month after a promise to that effect
that a woman arrived from the east
and was duly installed in the position.
Her hair was grizzly gray, her cheeks
furrOwed. her eyes covered by dark
brown goggles. and she was dressed In
eXeCrable taste The colonel thanked
the majors wife that Mrs. 1organy
was Just the thing No such unat-
ractiye creature could possibly have
the assurance to try to snare him, and
If she did, were she possessed of magic
arts, her looks would defeat her.
Mrs Yorgany possessed but one at
tractive feature, pleasant voice. At
first the colonel would give his orders
for the day to his housekeeper as he
would to the adjutant, and when she
asked a question or made a suggestion
he found himself soothed by the
smooth tones in which she spoke.
One evening when the fire in her room
wouldn't burn he invited her to sit
with her sewing beside the table in his
living room. He was very much inter-
ested in a book he was reading and
wanted some one to talk to about it.
He found a willing listener in Mrs.
Yorgany. For one hour while he talked
she listened attentively, but spoke nev
er word. The next day the colonel in
formed the majors wife that his house
keeper might be homely, but she was
an excellent conversationalist. After
this he invited Mrs. Yorgany to use his
sitting room whenever she liked.
The next evening the old lady, being
again turned out Of her room, was
pressed by the colonel to sit by his
table Thinking 1t best that he should
inform her of his opinion Of women, he
did so and with his usual brusqueness
when speaking on that subject. What
was his surprise when she replied,
'My late husband was a woman hater,
and he got all his points from me-"
You, Mrs. Yorgany. You a.
"WOmen have all the characteristics
natural to their condition. Mans
strength causes him TO rely upon open
methods; woman's weakness tends to
duplicity. Then the part nature gave
her to perform, the care of children,
develops different faculties from those
needed by man, who fights the battle
for family maintenance"
The colonel put out his hand impul-
sively. "Shake, madam, shake! By
love, you've more sense than any wo-
man l ever met or heard of. l want
you to make yourself at home in these
quarters-in this rOOm-anyvhere you
like. In future l shall give you no or
ders but a carte blanche to run every
thing to suit yourself"
From that time forward Mrs. Yor-
gany was Indispensable to the colonel.
Gradually he became accustomed to
her uncouth appearance, and when at
the end Of the third month of her serv-
ice she offered her resignation the colo
mel swore he would put her under ar
rest and prefer charges against her for
deserting her post When she stuck to
her intention he shut himself up for
three days, then offered to marry her.
The next day the colonel received 4
note from the majors wife asking him
to call On his arrival Mrs. Major in
troduced q middle aged spinster of at
tractive mien, lifelong chum Of hers.
Florence Wood. The colonel stared at
Miss Wood with astonishment She
appeared to be q revised edition of
Mrs. Yorgany. The goggles were gone;
the furrows were gone; everything was
gone that was ugly. She stood regard
ing the colonel with a smile on her lips
and her eyes dancing with mischief.
Colonel" said Mrs. Major, 81 had n
bet with my husband that | could in
duce YOU to marry fright within
three months. The time is up today,
and l have won. | knew my friend
Florence Wood possessed the tact and
good sense TO bring down just such a
man as you within the allotted time. l
brought her out here, giving her as dis
agreeable an appearance and name as
possible, to capture you. You have
swallowed the bait hook and ALL"
"But-but Miss Wood IS young. The
glamour Of youth is still there" blurted
the astounded colonel.
Il am past middle life" laughed Miss