Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-07-16
CHE PASTORS Daughter
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you to accept the following lines AS
the remorseful confession Of my error
of my sin. | write it to you, for |
know that if should say it TO you by
word Of mouth, you would lay your
dear hand on my lips, and your eyes
would rest On me with forgiving mild
ness while you said: "Oh, l forgave
you long ago, and l will not listen to
what you want to say"
I know this. for l know your good
disposition. You wouIu WISH 10 spare
me modification in any case, but l
cannot spare myself, and you must
and shall know everything; it is
necessary, for-but Of that later.
Gretchen, l loved you truly and
warmly. You were my first love, and
that is saying enough-but you must.
have felt that yourself. l was happy,
very happy, and my one desire was
to make you my wife as soon As pos
sible. Then the Countess Satew-
ski came to the castle. Once in very
early youth we had had passion for
one another, when she was a little
graceful girl in long braids and short
dresses. But, young and small as she
was, the charming child knew very
well even then how to turn the head
of the raw cadet We pretended to be
engaged, and even went so far as to be
jealous of one another, as, for in
stance, when We played tag and l
caught another girl oftener than her,
or when she whispered coquettishly
with my tall cousin Edgar. This was
during the six weeks vacation at my
fathers house in Bonn. Then / went
back to Potsdam, and she returned
home to her goyerness and the school
room, where we forgot our romantic
ideas in learning the French and
Latin vocabulary. I had not seen her
again; | had only heard that she was
married; and l sometimes thought
she must be a beautiful woman, a lit
tie brunette with the wonderful eyes.
Then there came a time, Gret-
chen. when I forgot all the eyes IN
the world for those sweet blue stars
of yours-the happiest, most blessed
time of my life. And then all at once
those demOniac dark eyes beamed
upon me. l confess frankly, I was
struck by the extraordinary beauty Of
my cousin, but I felt secure in my
love for you that the thought did
not once occur to me that she could
be dangerous to me. But the young
widow was not only beautiful, she
was. also clever, and a COquette; and
in the dullness of her widowhOod she
began to fling out her nets for me.
She met with opposition. l was stead
lily ungallant towards her, sometimes
even rude. and that only made her
more determined.
She said to herself shrewdly:
There must be some reason for his
drawing back from ME; man does
not so carefully avoid beautiful wo-
man if he has not some powerful mo-
tive for it; let US seek the cause Of
this shyness." She sodght and found
it; found that l loved you!
I am convinced that she laughed
when she discovered this, and said to
herself, If that is ALL"
She began her campaign very
carefully, spoke of you as a dear,
good girl, unfolded her brilliant con-
yersational talent gradually; chat
tered, bantered, and Knocked at her
self in the most piquant and agree
able manner in the world; ana when
she had succeeded, and she saw that
this sparkling, often frivolous man
ner amused me, and that l listened to
her eagerly, she began to call my at
tentiOn to Pastor Renner, at first with
a few careless words so that I was
scarcely aware that they were in
tended for me. Then she told a story
with charming humor initiating admir-
ably his walk and his speeCh-Of how
he was languishing for you, and what
he said, and how amused she always
was to watch the beginning Of such
an idyllic affection.
g AT first I paid no attention; then
something like jealousy came over
me, and l decided to be on the watch.
1t is possible that in this passion one
can see whatever one will. l thought
I saw that you did not treat the young
man as my betrothed ought to do,
and that his behavior was outrage
Gus. In my anger I was cooler to-
wards you. I often took refuge with
my cousin, sitting for whole evenings
in her boudoir while she reclined on
the sofa in a lace trimmed neglige:
and all at once I found myself smit-
ten with a violent passion for the CO.
luettish woman. 1t is true that at
first my heart contracted when she
spoke to me of your secret engage
ment to the young pastor. but one
glance at her beautiful face soothed
NE again. To tell the truth, Gretchen
never really believed that you were
false; but I hoped it might be the
case, so I need not endure the pangs
Of conscience. Ruth attracted me to
her as moth is attracted to light.
When I was with her l forgot every
hing, even you, Gretchen, and then.
afterwards, I saw your pale face, and
felt o. if I should Ike . put bullet
through my head-such a miserable
wretch I seemed TO myself.
g The simplest way would have
been to ask YOU if you still loved me,
Or if what they told me was true.
Then it would have been all right.
But would not. for the breach with
Ruth would have been unavoidable,
and I could not live without her. So I
let it so on and what my state Of
mind was must have been plain to
every one.
'' AT length, one evening, over
come with longing, l had ridden TO