davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-07-09
YOU'RE TOO THIN.
E0en .ShgAf Catarrhal DeyangsAf<nS
efMe Stomach Pyoducs Arid Fer
nzentafion Of The Food.
It's Stomach Cut1,vI

Some people are thin and always re-
main thin, from temperamental rea-
sons. Probably in such cases nothing
can be done to change this peraonal
peculiarity.
But there are large number Of peo-
pie who get thin, or remain thin, who
naturally would be plump and fieshy
but for some digestive arrangement.
Thin people lack in adipose tissue.
Adipose tissue is chiefly composed OF
fat.
Fat is derived from the oily constit-
uents Of food.
The fat-making foods are called by
the psychologist, hydrocarbons. This
class OF foods are not digested In the
stomach at all. They are digested in
the duodenum, the division Of the ALI
mentary canal just below the stomach.
The digestion Of fat Is mainly, ifnot
wholly, the work Of the pancreatlc
Juice. This Juice IL of alkaline reac-
ton, and is rendered inert by the addi-
ton Of acid. A hyperacfdity Of the
digestive fluids Of the stomach passing
down into the duodenum, destroys
the pancreatic fluid for digestive pur-
poses. Therefore, the fats arc not d.
gested or emulsifled, and the system 10
deprived of Its due proportion Of oily
constituents. Hence, the patient grows
thin.
The beginning of the trouble Is ca
tarrhal condition Of the stomach which
causes hyperacidity OF the gastric
juices. This hyperacidity is caused by
fermentation Of food In the stomach.
When the food is taken into the stom-
ach, II the process Of digestion does
not begin immediately, acid fermenta-
ton will take place. This creates o
hyperacidity OF the stomach juices
which In their turn prevent the pam
creatic digestion Of the oils, and the
emaciation results.
A dose OF Peruna before each meal
hastens the stomach digestion. BY
hurrying digestion, Peruna prevents
fermentation OF the contents Of the
stomach, and the pancreatic Juice is thus
preserved in its normal state. 1t then
only remains for the patient TO eat .
sufficient amount Of fat-forming foods,
and the thinness disappears and plump
ness takes its place.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-07-09
CHAPTER discontinued.

At last it was evident that Seffy
fully understood, and his father broke
into that discordant whistle once
more.
"a gal that ken jump six-rail
fence-and wissout no running start
don't let her git apast you'll"
We'll, I'm going to set up with her
tonight" said Seffy again, with huge
ahem. And the tune his father
whistled as he opened the door for
him sounded something like Il want
to be an angel"
But not to buy no pasture-land!
warned Seffy.
"Oach, no, of course not!" agreed
his willy old father. That's chust one
of my durn jokes. But l expect I'll
take the fence down tomorrow! Say,
SET, you chust marry the gal. I'll take
keer the fence!"
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-07-09
CALF ENTERED AN OBJECTION.
Why One Milking Machine Was Never
Put on the Market.

Inventive genius seldom achieves
success at the first attempt. A half.
grown boy in Pennsylvania, who had
devoted his leisure hours for many
months to the making of milking
machine of his own devising. at last
completed 1t to his satisfaction and
resolved to make q trial Of It, With.
out saying word to anyone he car.
ried his machine down from the attic.
where he had wrought patiently day
after day to bring It to perfection. and
took 1t out to the barnyard. where
old Cherry, the family COW. stood
placidly chewing her cud with her big.
lusty calf playing round her. A few
minutes later his mother saw him try
ing to re-enter the house unseen. He
was covered with dirt from head to
foot and in a state Of decentralization
generally. In his hand he was car
rying something that looked like the
wreck of a toy battleship. For
mercy's sake, judi" she exclaimed.
what have you been doing?" I've
been trying my milking machine on
the cow" he said. "Your milking ma.
chine! Good land! Did the COW do
all that to your" mo-" answered
Jud. "Old Cherry would have stood
for 1t all right. 1t was the calf that
--er--kind o. seemed to object to the
machine. youths Companion.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-07-09

her as II she vera some g0doo9ei
wear IL .hat way alNslysi
Ane alien .nins was svne' MY
, ,.. - = - !: 4 ~ i ~ a -
no Tine;
Soinenow. Sehy = ans opsneu y
1--WE nel pa -. an' ,r rne e .m., wiz :
IN 800, 49, N..'' - !,
NJ .ouse 49, 49,. ~ s
I'm, az . 1850, -, - W Z. 1850, s
and ,ta movement aeainat ,h;a skin
were ineffable. He kissed It. Again
1t was the strange fashion OF the
cavalfer-in those kisses! Where did
he learn It? Z,
"Sally---Sally, you are an ANGEL"
said Seffy.
And this one little word which came
to dull Seffy so happily out Of his ia.
vorite song made the coquette very
serious.
Not an angel. Seffy, sef-Seffy,"
she said with her head little down.
I don't think you would ike me 70 pc
such. I'm not! Angels never laugn.
you know-nor love. And want 70
40 lot OF both. But--out--seny, ia
IKE 10 pc something very nice-to
you. what is tne INCEST tning giri
can DC 70 you
sister! yentureu oeHy, VINO haa
never hau one.
oaiiy shisereu' tien iausheu. bus
sue 'ook herseil away from Sehy
me fressei temper Named u mo
,hen.' anu certain words began 70 lor,m
III her niinu IKE FOOL anu o!
anu Dann! ror' ! MINK l maven
.oiu you .liat oaily sohie.iihes smo.e
~ ~ sA,iehe o''''n's'Auoes iae' ia'ne'
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-07-09
extremes.

she--"There is one thing I cannot
understand about football" He
~yes?" she-'Why game SO named
should need 80 much head work"
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-07-09
But Sally Was the Angel.


1t took Seffy long time to array
himself as he had threatened. And
when 1t was all done you wouldn't
have known him-you wouldn't have
cared to know him. For his fine vel
low hair was changed to an ugly
brown by the patent hair-oil with
which he had dressed it-and you
would not have liked its fragrance, /
trust Bergamot, l think it was. His
fine young throat was garroted within
a starched standing collar, his feet
were pinched in creaking boots, his
hands close-gauntleted in buckskin
gloves, and he altogether incompar-
able, uncomfortable. and triumphant.
His father dropped his watch and
picked it up.
Both stood at gazegfor moment.
"Sunder, SET! You as beautiful as
the sun, moon and stars-and as
stinky as seferal apothecary shops.
Yere, take the watch and git along
SOS you hat some time wiss you-now
git along! You late already. Goshens!
You was behind time when you was
born! Vas, your nanny wass disap.
p'inted in you right at first. You wass
76 hours late! But now you reformed
sank God! ! always knowed it wass
cure for 1t, but didn't know it wass
anysing as nice as Sally"
Seffy issued forth to his first con-
quest-lighted as far as the front gate
by the fat lamp held in his fathers
hand.
"A-Sef-Seffy, shall / set up for
you tell you git homer" he called into
the dark.
mol" shouted Seffy.
AHA - aha = aha! That sounds
right! Don't you forgit when you bose
well = comfortable - aha = ha-ha!
Mebby on one cheer aha-ha-ha. And
we'll bose take the fence down to-
morrow. Mebby all three!"
~.
Suppose She Had Creased Her Hair?
Seffy sauntered confidently up The
Hill Of Delight upon which Sally's
house stood. When within sight of 1t
he polished his hat on his sleeve, set
the butterfly necktie straight, felt that
the apochryphal diamond was safe,
and marched up to the house-only to
arrive little later than buggy from
which Sam Pritz, he was certain, had
extracted Sally. If 1t had not been for
thought of his father, which oppor-
timely came, Seffy would have gone
straight home-so did his heart fail
him.
And then instantly there was anoth-
or and better reason for staying. Sally
had seen him. AS he wavered-which
she seemed to know-she came hurry
ing down upon him. It MAS too late
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-05-23

Lord Ancestor, sitting yawn. "For
goodness sake, come along!"
mot till you ask her" answered the
young man, doggedly.
Anything to get to bed" murmur-
ed the other, and spoke few sharp
words to the woman in her own Ian
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-05-23

Does your back ache? Do you get
no lame in the morning? Dou you feel
dull and tired? Does it hurt you to
bend over, to lift anything, to get up
from chair? Do you have sudden
catches" or stitches of pain in the
back? Does a dull throbbing ache
settle in the small Of your back and
bother you dav and night? Do you
sometimes feel that you simply can
not straighten up?
II you do have bachache, be careful
not to make the very common mistake
Of treating it as muscular trouble.
Do not rub the sore place with lini-
ment, nor put on plasters, for the seat
Of the trouble is inside-in the kid
neys which lie just beneath the small
of the back. on either side of the
spine.
A cold, chill, fever, overworl1,
overeating or overdrinking may start
a slight congestion or inflammation
in the kidneys that will at once inter-
rupt the kidneys work Of filtering the
blood. 1t is this condition that sets
up the aching, and makes your back
SO bad.
You can not make any mistake by
treating the kidneys at once, for it IS
these small troubles that lead too
dropsy, diabetes and Bright's disease.
If there Is any doubt in your mind
that the kidneys are affected, notice
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-05-23

YOU off your drink. But If there we're
no consequences of that kind, think
what time l could have for a few
years! What value could get out of
my money! I'd deny myself nothing;
I'd experiment with forbidden fruit
east and west of Suez, north and
south of Paris. By God! I'd get the
good out of my youth" He poured
himself out another whiskey-and-soda.
Il say, Ancestor, let's have another
drink-just one more"
Lord Ancestor shook his head.
mot for me- You see, I've got to
take the consequences of my own
drinks"
"a small cold bottle, then. Oh, all
right, if you won't! But this idea has
got into my head. can't go to sleep
till see that letter You'll show it
to me tonight, won't your
"The letter is at my rooms, If you
care to walk round there with me-"
"I'd crawl there on all fours!"
"It's probably fraud, you know"
well, suppose it is? It's only a
matter Of few thousands; and, if it
isn't fraud, it's the one chance to
live up to my income, to avoid being
cheated of the value of my money
those Internal millions, which are the
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-05-23

Nothing whatever. He very nat
urally thought it a fraud. A man as
rich as he is has to be on his guard
against frauds. Showed me the let
ter, and was going to burn it, but l
asked him if might keep it as a
curiosity. That's how came by it,
And you-do you think it's a
fraud?"
Cali those sorts of things are frauds
until they are demonstrated. Then
they become inventions. l should
classify it as remote but interesting
possibility"
Vandraken was getting more and
more excited. He drank another
whiskey-and-soda without noticing it.
The room was nearly empty now.
"Great Scott Suppose it shouldn't
be fraud! Suppose some one really
has invented some sort of a dodge OF
that kind! Why, I'd give millions for
it. Just fancy being able to do any
thing you want, and as much as you
want, without having to stop to con
slider the consequences! Why! if l
let myself go, I'd look old and haggard
and dissipated in no time-blear-eye
puffy, and purple-the kind Of face you
see around the Bruterion bar that puts
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-05-23

greatest fraud of all, because they can
only buy me what is within the reach
of any ordinary income. And after a
few years of it Mind you, An
cester, don't want to racket about all
my life, but after I have drunk all
l want to drink, and smoked all want
to smoke, and played about all want
to play about, I'll be as young and
decent-looking as am today, and
some beautiful young girl will marry
me, and not find me corked." He
rose to his feet excitedly. Let's go
round to your rooms now"
"All right. Come on"
They got their coats, and passed in
to the hall.
call hansom," said vandraken to
the porter.
''If you don't mind, we'll walk. 1t
isn't far to Jermyn Street."
1t was half-past one, and Piccadilly
was empty, except for few elderly
French and Belgian ladies, who were
doing their weary sentry-go.
One of them stopped in front of
Vandraken Her paint and powder,
her trained, wan smile, and cheaply
gorgeous clothes did not suffice to
conceal from the young man the raw
ages Of consumption. She said some
thing in tierd voice, but in a foreign
patois, which Vandraken did not I'M
derstand. He shook his head in good
natured refusal, and was turning
away, when some pathos in the de-
feated gesture she made struck that
note Of impulsive sentiment which vi
brates SO easily in the American char.
acter. Many hundred pounds still re.
NAMED over from his days income.
You're bit of a linguist, An.
cester," he said, pulling out a roll OF
notes. "Ask her how much she'll take
to retire from business"
Don't be a silly ass" answered
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-05-23

help feeling that man with such an
out-of-the-way name could do out-of-
the-way things" Ancestor sat up
! straight on the lounge. Vandraken
was re-reading the letter. Sorry to
seem inhospitable, but I'm for bed.
Got to be At for tomorrow. Polo at
Ranelagh, you know. You can keep
that letter, only / wish you'd let me
it."
"Decied to do about it! Why hunt
up Abdul first thing tomorrow morn
ing. It's only thousand, even If the
things fraud"
"Still, one hates being done in the
eye by German. However, I'm glad
you have decided to investigate. That
letter has really reused what's left of
my curiosity. Lord! but I'm sleepy!
Let me light you down the stairs; and
don't forget to tell me about your in
terview. Goodnight
Goodnight"
The door banged. Vandraken got
into the waiting hanson, and was
driven to the Ritz
Chapter II.
Does civilization throw Its shadow
forward? Or is it only the god of the
world of design experimenting with
new types? Or some protecting deity
holding up a warning hand, that we
may know we are losing our way, and
must retrace our steps? For it i S
certain that from time to time the
close observer will note men moving
through the throng who are not of
our time, not as other men. The
warming hand is the explanation one
would prefer to accept, the hand with
the magic mirror, showing us, by an
extreme type, ourselves as we will be
when we have travelled our present
road to it's logical end.
! Vandraken was an instance of ex.
IRENE type. If there is anything in
heredity, his vices and virtues were
honestly come by. A grandfather and
| father who made god of business
forging steel and iron into ever more
wonderful shapes; their brains into
more powerful instruments. Three
generation Of mothers whose maternal
instincts were satisfied by their first
child, and who then became the mere
spending apparatus for their husbands
|
aged in every way to think themselves
their caprices, and how to indulge
them, was it any wonder that the
fruit of such family tree was mater
ialism? Or that Standish Vandraken
its present product, was out of proper
ton morally?
In a few brief months the whole
economic aspect of America had
changed; great brains, forged in the
fierce fires of competition, organised
and put out those fires, and the
hearts blood Of their weaker brethren
was the fluid poured on the flames
The Vandraken Steel Works, after
three generations of vicissitudes, went
into combination at one hundred
million dollars
Vandraken's mother, also an only
child, inherited from her father fifty
million dollars, the result of banking
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-05-23
oTTUMWA PROOF.

Mrs. Ruckman, 1882 East Main ST.,
Ottumwa, Iowa, says: mfr. Ruckman
thinks a great deal of Doan's Kidney
Pills as he used them and they proved
to be 81 reliable remedy for kidney
trouble. For some time he had dull
heavy pains through his back and
loins that made it hard for him to
stcop or lift. He was unable to sleep
well at night and as a result arose in
the morning tired and unrefreshed. He
finally procured Doan's Kidney Pills at
Sargent's drug store and after taking
them a short time noticed decided
Improvement in his condition. A
continued use disposed Of his COM
health"
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-05-23

insurance, railroads and frenzied
finance. His father manipulated the
stock market with these colossal
fortunes, and another fifty millions
was added. Old vandraken had a
brain which nothing but millions
could glut; he had no other vices, no
expensive tastes, It was the game, and
the excitement Of the game, that his
brain craved for. He and his fellows
were mad, and did not know it. They
were money hogs, who could no more
stop eating while there was food in
the trough that the dipsomaniac can
stop drinking while there Is liquor in
his glass.
Vandraken's father had a friend to
whom the money game had never ap-
pealed. He had spent his income as
it came in. He had realised that the
greatest thing money can buy Is time
the raw material Of life itself. His
own time he kept for himself, his wife
and children; other mems time he
bought. He could not paint picture
with his hands, bat could conceive one
| with his mind and dictate it to a
trained artist, and make him see the
picture and paint it. Hack-writers
had written novels from his con-
ceptions. He had financed theater,
bought grouse moor in Scotland, a
partridge shoot in Norfolk He had
taken time to study his children, and
know them, and teach them the phi
losophy of life. The poor and Cypress
ed had had their share of his wealth.
His son was a power in politics
One day he asked Vandraken,
Senior when he was going to stop
work and begin to enjoy himself, and
to live.
When am the richest man in the
world, or when I am dead. Not be-
FORE" was the answer.
Then his friend compared the lives
they had both lived, and asked him
whether, if he could live his life over
again, he would live for the money
game or live for life, and the old
Croesus broke down, and confessed
that his life had passed in a fever,
that he was wealthomaniac, and in
durable; that he could not stop the
game, because he had no other in.
terests in life, and 1t was too late to
acquire them. But he remembered he
had son, and he made resolve. He
| WOu4A live dSdlA Ill ludJ 6Ou. AL
things he had not done, all the money
he had not spent, that son should dc
and spend. AS first step towards
the realization Of his plan he sent the
boy to Harrow. His wife having re-
Gently died, and there being no one
to spend the money, it piled up prodig'
iously.
! When Standish Vandraken had been
at Harrow for three years his father
died, but not before he had dinned in.
to his sons ears that he was to spend
money, not make it. Perhaps he
hoped to be conscious in some other
world that, on the earth he had left
bone Of his bone. flesh of his flesh, was
doing all the things he had left I'M
done, weaving a complete pattern out
of the tangled threads he had left be
hind
The boy came back to America fol
his fathers funeral, and entered Har
ward, which, in spite Of an allowance
equal to the presidents salary, did
not turn him out as conceited as the
average college boy; Harrow had seen
to that. He had inherited brains, too
and had a sense of humour-both
enemies Of conceit.
1t would have been better if he had
had less brains, for the creative
] faculty having reached a climax in
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-05-23

Lord Ancestor, sitting yawn. "For
goodness sake, come along!''
Not till you ask her. answered the
young man, doggedly.
Anything to get to bed" murmur-
ed the other, and spoke a few sharp
words to the woman in her own Ian
guage.
"She says ten thousand francs"
Vandraken handed the woman roll
of notes. She shuf1led over to lamp
and began to examine them eagerly;
then, looking round, like a hungrey
dog, thrust them into her corsage and
disappeared.
Ten thousand francs! She will be
able to retire at least twice on what
l have given her Thank goodness!
I have nearly spent my days income"
"And very likely bought back a
soul. The woman will retire, all
right"
81 don't believe in souls, and 1 don't
want to. was sorry for her body.
| What's soul, anyway"
"An extremely plausible theory, my
dear fellow. The bette noire of smart
| society, and the Nonconfor1nist's one
| hope of getting even with it,"
| They turned down Jermyn Street,
and reached Lord Ancestors rooms
| in silence His valet opened the
door for them.
Il wish you would find my green let
ter-case, Williams, and bring it to the
smoking-room. You may go to bed
then. will let Mr. Vandraken out"
"And might he call hanson, ana
tell 1T to wait outsider"
Certainly. BY the way, where are
you stopping?"
Give got rooms at three hotels, but
imagine they will rock me more
thoroughly at the Ritz than any OF
them, SO shall go there tonight
They had entered the smoking
room. 1t was panelled to the ceiling
of Lord Ancestors disused country
places; the carved oak mantel was OF
the same period; candles the only
light. There were some photos OF
race-horses on the walls. Ancestor
pointed them out to his guest. 'You
ought to get some of those; amusing,
and very expensive" He had thrown
himself on lounge. Vandraken was
too excited to sit down. When the
servant entered with the green-leather
letter-case, he went eagerly forward
and took it from his hands.
\ Don't forget about the nansom," he
said, and managed to tip him without
his host seeing.
Ancestor unlocked the case and
handed Vandraken letter. There
you are. German-looking handwrit.
ing, isn't it?" and watched Vandraken
with interest as he devoured the con
tents.
Sir" it ran, 81 have made an in
yention of interest only to the young
man who has many millions to spend
the young man who would like to buy
millions worth of enjoyment, but dare
only buy thousands, because the con
sequences of buying more he knows
too well. Through my invention, these
consequences he can make another
man take, so he can have much pleas
ure, and pay only with money. l will
only sell the invention to one man;
my pay would be one hundred thous
and pounds, one thousand paid dowr
before l discuss the matter.
abdul Won Tarsenheim
"18 ST. Martins street, Convent
Garden"
Abdul Won Tarsenbeim,' repeated
lVandraken What strange name!'
J "Gives you confidence. One cam
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-05-23
W. II. WHEATLEY.
Living at 8O4 Wabash
Avenue, Ottumyva. Iowa.

Who is SO years old, says: For sew
eral years / have been sufferer from
Backache, rheumatism, Bladder and
other ailments caused from my kid
neys. 1 tried various medicines with
out any relief A friend recommends
ed SWANS BAckAcHE AND KID.
NEY PILLS. After using two or three
SOC boxes find myself completely re-
heved and cured. Since using them
/ have met great number Of people
who have used them with the same
gratifying effects. They are on sale
at r. 3. cLARk's and j. H. L. SVEN.
SONS DRUG STORE in soc boxes
only. Six boxes are guaranteed to
cure any case Of backache, rheuma-
tism or any form of kidney diseases.
Should they fail, their use will cost
you nothing. You. who have any symp-
toms of kidney ailments cannot afford
to not try SWANS BACkAcHE and
KIDNEY PILLS, and be fair to your
self. Swain Med. Co., sole owner,
Kansas City, Mo.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-05-23
IT'S YOUR KID N EYS

are irregular, painful, or too scanty,
discolored, or full of sediment. the
kidneys need help right away, and
there is no other medicine more help
full than Doan's Kidney Pills. a simple
remedy for the kidneys, yet SO power
full that it quickly cures the cause and
SO ends all the p nful and annoying
symptoms. Home testimony proves
the unfailing merit Of Doan's Kidney
Pills.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-12

After today
two weeks The
less than the unbaBd
mining
a frenzy
Now is all finished will
babbling
at
of
a public
or photographs
highest
consideration