The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1908-09-27
THE BARTENDER
i AT BUG JUNCTION
He Was Crosseycd and Otherwise
Remarkabls--Bear Lake JOIN!
son Remarkable Also.

eide which wa the more remarkable OF
the two persons-Bear Lake Johnson
or the barkeeper ct Bug Junction, said
Col. Joe Mccain, the tourist ticket man.
"In the first place that barkeeperi waa.
the crosseyedest man ] ever saw. and ne
must have seen right away when ] came
In that that was what I was thinking,
for he nodded and said:
you're right. My uncle. Jake Poin.
dexter, used TO tell me that when my make
UP was first assembled. by some ihokus
pokus or other my left eye got on the right
side Of -my nose and my right eye on the
left side. and each eye instantly began
trying to climb back over my nose 70
its proper place and has been keeping
it up ever since. You notice that they
have almost got there. Grain, wood
or denatured?'
Now, I had no business with that bar.
keeper whatever and wouldn't have seen
him IL the office, reading ROOM, sitting
room and barroom of the Bug Junction
Hotel hadn't been all combined In one.
I wouldn't have known whether he was
looking at me, at the picture on the rear
wall depicting a fair lady In a bathing
suit, sitting on q beer keg and joining q
billy goat rampant In q glass OF foaming
book, or at a mule grazing ON jirnson
weeds on the opposite side Of the road.
II he hadn t mentioned it az he did.
a'Grain, wood or denaturedf' eaid ]. re-
ferring to HE sudden query.
''Yes,' he replied. They're the three
~favorites at Bug junction. but they all
come out OF the came bottle. Guaranteed
under the pure food law. but just what
it's guaranteed TO be / don't know. What
ever it's guaranteed to be. though, that's
what It is
Il said that II he'd excuse me and didn't
mind / guessed I'd have q cigar.
IAN right he said. and I thought he
was looking at the yellow dog under h
table and the big smoke spot IN the ceil-
ing, but he wasn't. He was gazing
straight at me. All right said he. but
the risk is yours.
a'There's no guarantee under the pure
food law goes with this cigar. It'll DO
is cents, but at the Joyful News cafe
down the street they'll ask you two. bits
for it. and charge you four bits more II
you smoke it in the house.
@'But we amt 30 graspy. here. We
give the cigar and the privilege Of smok-
ing 1t, all for one price. 1t amt too late
for you to draw your ante. for the cigar
and put IL on the grain. wood. or do
natured, though, II you want to-
~I said I'd let it 60 or the cigar. and
saying 1t was simply a wonder what
chances some folks would take, the bar
keeper turned TO wait on q customer who
had come in.
sThis customer was a tall, b~ewhiskerod,
farmer looking individual. who produced
a pint flask, which the ~barkeeper filed
from the bottle Of stuff guaranteed under
the pure food law. The mar put IL In
his pocket and went out Of the back door.
Half a minute later he came In again and
went out Of the front door and away.
.'Notice that mann said the b~arkeeper.
and I thought he was looking straight
at me, but he wasn't. He was gssing
in the direction the man had gone.
Il said l had noticed him. yes.
a'Saw him buy the pint, didn't your
the barkeeper asked.
Il said I had seen him do 1t.
well, he had that pint yet when he
went out Just now, but not In b bottle.
In the man. Took 1t at one here's the
hair all of your head. One toss-of.'
Il was surprised, Of course. and adj
mitted it.
Strangers always are said the bar.
keeper. 1t used to surprise US too, till
we came to know Bear Lake johnson
better.
That isn't his name, but.he lives near
Bear Lake, and as we didn't know what
his name really was we called him John
son because it was a to think Of.
Hes a nice quiet old chap and only
takes q drink every nine days. That
was it, he ust stepped out and had 1t
with himself. That performance being
a little better than any one. even In Bug
junction, could get himself on the bills,
for 1t made talk along at first, but sitter
a while / up and said to the old man that
I'd like to getbetter acquainted witha man
of his talent, and I found that he wasn't
one that insisted on hiding his light under
a bushel, for he spoke right up:
-'"Just keep your eye on that"
He rolled up the right leg OF his Ken
lucky. jean trousers and there just above
his knee was the picture Of a pint bottle
on his leg. At least I thought 1t was.
but he said 1t was a birth mark.
keep your eve on it, said he.
Yes. I .see,' said the ~barkeeper.
You're wondering how ! could do It, and
Bear Lake johnson didn't think / was
doing 1t either. for he got quite hufy and
said It wasn't on top Of his head nor down
cellar. I kept my eye on It just the same.
and the old man tossed Oh the pint.
Pretty soon that mark on his leg
began to raise up, and In ten minutes or
SO Il was pulled out an inch or more,a per-
feet pint flask, shaded on th red.
.']It's all in there said Bear Lake
johnson. "For nine days now ! Wouldn't
give ten cents q barrel FOR the best there
Is. But when the nine days are up.'
said he, that birth mark win be shrunk
empty again and then I'd give ton dol.
Lara for q pint OF the worst there IL II /
couldn't get II for any less. though ] get
Il here for a dollar said he.
That's the how OF Bear Lake Johnson
said the barkeeper. and ] see you're
saving that cigar to give to q friend. II
there's any chance OF your wanting to
borrow money from him some day. don't
: III anybody had told me the ~barkeeper
was looking at that cigar In my hand
I'd nave poohpoohed, for I was thinking
Just then how in the world he could DO
reading the Horse Stolen placard or the
wall of to his right and looking to see what
time II was by the. clock that hung almost
behind him, both at the same time. !
nut the cigar In my pocket and said: