davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
~rhe Good Old Davs.n

How times have changed! When we
were young, people had bad colds,
soaked their feet in hot water and got
well. Now they have grip. take quinine
and feel sick all over. Then they had
sore throat, wrapped a piece of fat
pork in ,ln old sock, tied 1t around the
neck at night and went to work the
next morning. Now they have tom
silitis, surgical operation and two
weeks in the house. Then tlSy had
stomach ache and took castor oil and
recovered. Now they have appended
It's, a week in the hospital and six feet
due east and west and six feet perpen-
dicular. They worked then; they labor
now. In those days they wore under
clothes; now they wear lingerie. Then
they went to restaurant; now they
go to n cafe. Then they broke leg;
now they fracture limb. People went
crazy then; they have brain storm
now. Politicians then paid good hard
cash for support: now they send gov.
eminent garden seeds. Yes, times
have changed. and We all change with
the times. That's progression.-Ancil
Hatten in Westphalia (lan) Times.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Edo. Barred.

One evening solid looking citizen,
carrying basket, bought a ticket and
started to enter the opera house in a
Long Island town. Just as he was
going in the cover of the basket un-
iaccountably slipped of. revealing two
dozen eggs.
"Hey" said the ticket taker. "This
isn't Easter. Where you going with
them eggs?''
.'None O. y'r business! Here's my
ticket. all paid for an reg'r," declared
the citizen.
WELL there don't any eggs go in
side while I'm here" said the ticket
taker, and then the other saw the real
son his burden was suspected and
roared with laughter.
he left the eggs in charge of the
man at the box Office and entered, and
he enjoyed every moment of the show.
When It was over. the manager re-
turned the eggs to him and said:
81 was afraid you might put your
foot into the basket while you were
applauding."
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Tho Bite of a Dec.

II want to say Il few words about
hydrophobia." said n physician. "When
an animal bites through clothing there
is little or no danger of infection. The
virus is on the teeth of the animal and
when the person bitten has received
the wound through layer of clothing
there is little danger.
"The virus on the teeth is left in the
clothing and is not communicated to
the person bitten. Rabid dogs or other
animals are not like reptiles. They
have no hollow teeth through which
poison may be communicated. 1t must
be introduced directly into the system
Of the victim.
Therefore. when supposedly rabid
dog bites person, If the bite is not on
an exposed part of the body lie should
have no fear."-Washlngton Post.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11


Farmers are well acquainted with
the fact that the roots of trees will
disrupt and sometimes overturn n
stone wall. but the lifting power of
tender vegetables is equally surprising.
The one result which has perhaps
attracted the greatest attention is the
discovery that weight of two and a
half tons can be lifted by the common
pumpkin in the course of it's develop
ment.
DIR. Carpenter relates the story of a
paving stone weighing cighty-three
pounds that was raised from its bed
(when Joined by others ON all four
Sides by such soft piece of fungi as
the common mushroom. And still an
other and more remarkable story Is
added to the above.
A man had a cask of sweet wine and
placed it>in an empty cellar to mature.
When examined several years later ii
had risen from the floor of the cellar
to the ceiling. having been borne up,
ward upon the fender shoots of Il vine
fungus with which the cellar was
filled.-London Home. Notes.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
French Eeonomy,

"a man doesn't have to go to Paris
TO learn something about the econo-
my of French cooks said janitor.
s"All he has TO do is to get job like
mine in a house occupied mostly by
French families, and he'll learn some
astonishing lessons in the art of saw
Ing. Up 10 two months ago l was
working in building of that kind.
So far as attending to the garbage
was concerned, had the easiest time
of my life. There was practically no
garbage. The people lived well
enough, l guess. Anyhow they re-
ceived packages from the butcher and
grocer, but they never seemed to
throw anything away. About the only
thing they didn't eat was coffee
grounds and potato skins and tomato
cans, and there was precious little
waste of even that.
.'Where ] am working now the fami-
lies are all American. That is where
the food goes to waste. The people in
that house throw away enough pro-
visions every day to feed all those
French families a eek."-San Fran
cisco Chronicle.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Women Oyster Gatherers,

The work of oyster collecting and
culture is most unsuitable for women,
but In France, owing to its tedious ma
ture, 1t does not appeal to men, Often
from an early hour in the morning till
late into the evening the women are
standing up to their knees in water,
with a strong sun beating down;son
them. The result is that never d year
passes without some of them going
mad and having to be hurried away
to the asylums. The work is well paid.
as, indeed. 1t ought to be, while In the
case of the few who own beds the
profits are large. and small fortunes
are quickly amassed.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
A Queer Cough Mixture.

Mrs. Delaney, SO well known as an
eighteenth century parsonage, had a
strange prescription for cough mix
ture. Writing to friend In January.
1853, she says: Does Mary cough in
the night? Two or three snails boiled
in her barley water or ten water or
whatever she drinks might be Of great
service to her. Taken in time they
have done wonderful cures. She must
know nothing of 1t. They give no
manner of taste. 1t would be best
nobody should know 1t but yourself,
and should imagine six or eight boil
ed in a quart of water and strained off
and put in bottle would be coed
way, adding spoonful or two Of that
to every liquid she takes. They must
be fresh done every two or three days;
otherwise they grow too thick" A
strange remedy, and one wonders
whether MARY" took it and benefited
by Il.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
He Was Careful Of His Voice.

Brignoli. the famous tenor, was
very susceptible to fiattery, and 1t is
said that once in New York when tho
orchestra vigorously applauded one of
his favorite songs he was SO touched
that he came down to the foothghts
and invited them all to champagne
supper at the Everett House. The
supper cost him $500.
Brlgnoli was very careful of his
voice and was terribly afraid of drafts.
1t was once stated that during the
winter 1t always took him three-quar-
ters OF an hour to get from his room
to the street. First he would on
leaving his room pace the hall for ten
minutes to get acclimated. He then
descended to the lobby. where the tenn
perature was IL little lower. and spent
twenty minutes there. He then ven.
tured to the vestibule. from which the
door opened into the street. He would
parade the vestibule for fifteen min
utes. occasionally opening the door to
let IN little cold air. Being now ac-
customed TO cool temperature, he
would button up his coat aud sally
forth
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Catching the "rone.v


He was well meaning young man,
but as curate in small village he had
never occasion to meet the class of
people who frequented the fashion
able parish to which he had just been
appointed.
His new rector, wishing to help him
on to success, had been liberal with
advice and had duly impressed him
with the Importance of always taking
the tone of the people with whom
he mingled. Being invited to take
dinner at the mansion of one of the
members of the congregation and
knowing that lie would have to say
grace, the young curate took his cue
from the conversation overheard be-
fore dinner. and when his hostess
nodded meaningly in his direction he
delivered himself of the following.
which he considered quite in keeping
with the ''tone" of the guests assem-
bled:
20 Lord, thanks awfully. jolly good
feed, wot?"-London Express.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Made the ludae Perspirs.

Sir John Charles Day. the English
judge who earned the title of the
"hooligan's terror" died at the age of
eighty-two. In the nineteen years Sir
John was II judge of the high court
from 1882 to 19O1-he was noted for
his gift of solemn humor and for his
drastic fiogging sentences. In fourteen
years lie sentenced 1877 criminals to
1896 strokes of the cat. Once he said
to a gang of Liverpool rllffians: 81 am
not going to give you men long terms
of imprisonment, but when you go In
you get twenty lashes of the cat; when
you have been in nine months you get
twenty lashes Of the cat: before you
come out you get twenty lashes of the
cat. And then you can show what you
have got to your friends He was per
haps the only English judge who ever
did "hard labor" While on visit to n
prison he tried the treadmill. but when
he asked to be set free the guard pre-
tended not to hear his request. The
judge was perspiring freely by the
time he was permitted to abandon his
experiment.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
TIL. miser's Carpet.

"Dr. Quain, the eminent physician,
full of Hibernian wit, would some
times tell unauthorized anecdotes of
his professional experiences. says Sir
Algernon West in "One City and
Many Men, Once he was attending
a well known man Of misery habits
in Mayfair. who when very i'll asked
him to honestly tell him if he would
ever again rise from his bed of sick
ness. The doctor thought he never
would. Please ring the bell said the
patient, and when he had secured the
attendance of his housekeeper he said:
Have the strip of carpet by my bed
side, which is n good one, wrapped
up and put away. shall not want it
again, and il 1t is left here those un-
dertaker's men will be sure to spoil
1t with their dirty boots!"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Is oratory a Drawback?

The great orators have not been the
most fortunate aspirants for the presi.
dency. Webster, Clay. Douglas and
Blaine We're idolized by their follow.
ers, not only for their abilities and
personal traits, but also for their per-
suaslve powers of speech. Horace
Greeley, candidate of the Democrats
and Liberal Republicans in 1872, was
not a notable orator, but was none the
less an effective talker. He made a
speaking tour in the latter part of the
campaign, and, although his position
was an anomalous one, he acquitted
himself with credit. even IL he was
overwhelmingly defeated. Tilden, who
In his free soil days made speeches,
obtained his mastery by his pen, not
by his tongue. Grant, who was called
the silent man because he could not
make speech when he first became a
candidate, learned to speak very well
in public. his speech for Garfield In
1880 being good example of his de-
velopment in that direction.-Bosto
Globe.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Free for the Balance Of 1908,


The Des Moines Daily Register and
Leader will be mailed to new SUBJ
scribers from now to Jan. /, 1910
upon payment of $4.OO-thus allowing
the balance of 1908 free. Daily and
Sunday to Jan. !, 1910, $500
More money is expended by The
Register and Leader for its news SER
vice than by any two other daily new
papers in the state. Among it's great
exclusive features are: All Iowa News
Service, "Ding's" Cartoons, Complete
Market page with special report of
Chicago live stock market, including
representative sales, and strong,
fearless editorial page.
Everywhere in Iowa and on almost
all rural mail routes The Register
and Leader is delivered on the same
Gay it is printed. Subscribe with the
publisher of his newspaper, any
postmaster or newsdealer or remit di-
rect to
The Register and Leader Co.,
Des Moines, Iowa.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Msrja ~ M.dlal,

Nne tastes of Marie de- Medici, wife
Henry w. OF France, were splendid,
1a she indulgel them to the full. One
her collars Of venetian point was
zone worth the eyes out of mans
lead. and she Ind fine store Of
Rem. Describing her as she arrayed
rself on typical occasion in Il cos
pc of carnation satin. NJ. Batiffol, in
French Court In the Seventeenth
- sry" continues as follows:
us arranged to her satisfaction,
Jewels. Of which She has quantities
II Gttered in different cabinets, must
lot be forgotten nor yet her ring. Her
void bracelets, studded with seventy
Y yvo small diamonds. We're purchased
y yom Francois lie Prestre, jeweler OF
a sAris, for LOCO livres. Her earrings
Svo great diamonds surrounded by
(esser brllliants, were made by the
weller Jean Subtil. Her gold watch,
hlued at 100 livres, is oval in shape
and ornamental with several lia-
lontls, and she must not forget to
lace In her pocket for use at mass the
& rosary of enameled gold. embellished
Swith diamonds,' trife worth 9.GOC
Eivres. And, thus adorned. the queen
must yet perfume herself"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Freedom Of the Press.

! The battle for Il free press in the
Pull modern sense was tonight ont be-
tween lTG4 and III, beginning with
he prosecution Of Wilkes for attack
!ng Butte in the North Briton and end
Ing with the successful resistance to
Ne proclamation by which the COM
ons had forbidden the publication Of
elr debates. Six printers who had
ringcd the proclamation were sum-
onetl to the bar of the house. Five
&eyed, md the messenger of the
Z NE was sent to arrest the sixth.
5liIsii::saxac. sent the messenger to
.tson. The house of commons sent
Z = lord mayor to the Tower, but he
Pas released at the next propagation,
Ind the day OH which he left the Tower
Parked the end of the last attempt to
tence the press.-New York Ameri.
y
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
saiaao s.asll,I { = :,
6he seettlsh eoifer wh6 HndattAaS

for wager to drive ball mile in
b dozen consecutive shots probably set
himself an easier task than some of
his predecessors north of the Tweed.
Among the most Interesting wagers
of this kind was one taken in the
Burgess Golting society in 179S that
no two members could drive Il ball
over the spire of st Giles steeple.
The feat was attempted by Mr..
Sceales of Leitll- and Mr.. Smellie, II
printer, each being allowed six balls,
and both competitors succeeded In
sending their balls well over the
weathercocl. Il height of more than
100 feet from the ground.
Some years later Donald Mclean, u
writer to the Signet, won substan-
dal bet by driving ball over Mel
yille's monument. in st. Andrew
square, while several Scotchmen have
performed the difficult feat of driving
the ball from Burntsfied links to the
top of Arthur's seat, a species of golf
ing stceplechasc which requires con-
siderable stamina as well as SKILL
Westminster Gazette.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Always WANING.

= Frenchman who apparently has n
bod deal of time on his hands has
|been amusing himself by reckoning up
he number of kisses lie has given his
sife during the first twenty years Of
married life.
e finds that in the first year lie dis
Ased about 100 kisses day. OF, say.
allowing for birthdays and legal and
church holidays. about 3G.7OO in the
year.
In the second year this number was
educed by half and in the third year
ten a day, while in the fifth year
b better half had to be content with
TWO a day, one in the morning and
kne In the evening.
What happened in the fifth year is
wrapped In mystery" but at the same
Eate of progression" he probably ar
ved eventually at one kiss on the first
January every leap year.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
o. G cRosKEY.

You can't be well if you have
weak, unhealthy, tired out stomach.
Neither can you feel good if by some
little irregularity in eating you have
caused the stomach to get out of
order. These little stomach troubles
are signs of indigestion, which may
and very often do turn into very
bad case of dyspepsia. Don't allow
this to go on single day without
doing something to overcome it. Take
some good reliable and safe digestant
like KoDoL FOR Dyspepsia. KODOL
is the best remedy known oday for
heart burn, belching' and all troubles
arising from a disordered digestion. 1t
is pleasant to take and affords relief
promptly. Sold by all druggists.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
a n;o sw.lIow.

A detective was testifying in the
case of woman shoplifter whom he
had arrested in her own house.
"And, your honor" said he. when
told her the charge she turned her
back to me and swallowed a purse, six
suits of silk underwear. a silver candle
stick and chatting dish. and'-
Rubbish! Are you crazy?" the mag
istrate interrupted.
excuse me. What l mean to say.
your honor" explained the detective,
sis that she swallowed the pawn tick
ets."
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
GRAY and III. Eteov

Thomas Gray kept the elegy by him
Tor nine years before he gave it to the
world. He polished away at it all those
years as u lapidary polishes gem, and
the result was he made 1t a gem. In
his whole life he wrote comparatively
little, and when asked why lie had
written so little he replied. Because
of the exertion it costs in the labor of
composition"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
HaWls THIS,
We offer one tIundasa t,oiiass ,

we offer one tiundaed Dollars Re.
ward for any case of Catarrh that
cannot be cured by Halls catarrh
Cure.
+. J. CHENEY & co, Toledo, o
We, the undersigned, have known
i. j. Cheney for the last Is years,
and believe him perfectly honorable
ir all business transactions and fl.
financially able to carry out any obi
cations made by his firm.
Walding, kinnan 4 Marvin,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken inter-
nsslly. acting directly upon the blood.
and mucous surfaces of the system.
cents, per bottle. Sold by all drug.
gists.
Take Halls Family Pills for con.
stipation.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
His Honor INDICATED.

IA couple Of good natured Frenchmen
et into quarrel and challenged each
(hersto fight. On, the morning of the
bel they and their seconds tramped
Trough the woods to the fatal spot.
ivllen one of the duelists, the challeng-
ing party. trlpped and fell. His second
helped him to his feet.
II hope you are not much hurt" said
|the other duelist.
I'm not much hurt. I,only bumped
my noise on the ground"
Does It bleed?"
ayes. a little"
"Heaven be praised! Blood flows.
hnd my honor is vindicated. Give me
Your hand. old boyp'
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Our Language Is So Explicit.

our Language Is so Expltcit!
The tradesman had rendered his bill
waited month and then wrote:
"Please, sir, want my bill"
Back came the bill with these words
Certainly; here it isl
The bill was returned, and in Z
month the tradesman again wrote:
Kindly send me the amount of my
BILL"
And the answer came promptly ant
politely:
Certainly: 1t is s104.2G."
The third month the tradesman agail
wrote:
"Will you send me check for tn.
amount of my bill?"
The answer came, with a blank. un
signed check:
Certainly; here is the check. have
kept the amount of your BILL"
The fourth month the tradesmar
wrote:
II want my bill paid"
And the answer came back, "Sc
do l."
Then the tradesman gave it up.-La
dies Home Journal
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Jessie.

! 1t is related that when the young
man who afterward became General
Fremont ran away with and married
Jessie, Tom Benton, the great SEN
;,ator, made terrible threats of what he
would do to the young man. He
would give him roasts and bullets. and
20 on. To all of which Mrs. Benton
quietly remarked, "You had better
give him Jessie, my dear"
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
A LittI. Bit Thiek.

"Yes," said the old salt. 1--WE seen
some pretty thick fogs in my time.
Why, OF the coast of Newfoundland
the fog was sometimes SO thick that
we used to sit on the rail and lean
against 1t! We were sitting one night,
us usual. with our backs up against
the fog, when suddenly the fog lifted,
and We all went flop into the water.
A bit thick, wasn't it?''
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
The Supreme Test.

S"You are all right" said the doctor
liter he had gone through with the
|Sgniation humping and listening
fifth his patient. Not trace OF
'aart disease. Fifteen dollars. please
The patient drew II long breath and
sarked: u am sure now l have no
It disease. II had. should have
lropped dead when you mentioned
hur fee,
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
A Friend In Mead.

"Loan me dollar, old man." said
the actor. I'm hungry
"I'm broke myself" responded the
stage manager, "but I'll put you on In
the bill tonight. We have an eating
scene.".
"Man. I'll starve before night
I'm that case I'll call n rehearsal."-
st. Louis Republic.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
.Nation.I conxe.r,ation,.

II you see three men standing to-
gether on the sidewalk in any given
country, you can guess the subject of
their conversation. In Germany it is
the army; in Russia, the bureaucracy;
in France, women; in the United
States, business; in England, sport,
and in Turkey nothing at all.-Brussels
Derniere Heure.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Fun Missed In Air TRAVELLING.

1t may be a great achievement for u
balloon to travel at the rate of seven.
!y-tive miles per hour. but what is the
,Shn in skipping along at that rate
SIhen you cannot see the telegraph
Hes or constables whiz past? The
ensure In speed is in passing things
lat stand still or go slower Boston
advertiser.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
>Thc Real Version.

NAPOLEON sat inadvertently upon a
noking cannon and scorchel the seat
his white trousers.
IT cannot turn back now" lie nut
&sed to an aid as he hastily dismount-
y have burned my ,britches be-
Mud meY'
2Thts historic expression has been
{rossly corrupted by later WRITER'S
pathfinder.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Mental Medicine.

We know diseases of stoppings and
suffocations are the most dangerous
in the body; and it is not much other.
wise in the mind. You may take sarza
to open the liver. steel to open the
spleen. flower of sulphur for the lungs,
castoreum for the brain. but no re-
ceipt openeth the heart but true
friend.-Bacon.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
A Mans Tact.

Nobody but Mr.. Henley would have
asked such question in the first place.
Miss Farley" he said. "if you
could make yourself over what kind
of hair and eyes would you have:'
''If'I could make myself over" said
Miss Farley. 81 would look just ex-
actly as l do now"
you would?' exclaimed Henley in
honest surprise, and to this day he
can't understand why Miss Farley
thinks him n man of little taste and
less tact.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
A yeaetarian.

4 First Deacon--Our new pastor must
be a vegetarian.
Second Deacon-Why do you think
/ 80?
First Deacon-rhere doesn't seem to
be any meat in his sermons. -Phila-
delphia Ledger.
Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-11
Oyster Shells as Medicine.

Ground oyster shells were given by
the medieval doctors to children suf-
fering from ricketts, and scrofula. Now
it appears that they We're right. The
shells contain lime, nitrogen, iron, sui
phur manganese, magnesia. -four, bro
mide. phosphorIc acid and iodine, all
excellent for feeble children. They say
that if growing children were to take
powdered oyster shells In their food
the teeth would be improvisation.
don Answers.