davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-02-11
No Wonder They Kick.

w = 4i0tHtld4N ma nv Can SEeEESiJ re-
strain himself.
No Wonder They Kick.
A mere shave! Why in the world
should the Beau Brummels patrOnize
the office shop when the service is so
much better at some OF the frst-class
hotels? Why the very idea, No facill-
ties for a massage, either Of the face
or scalp; no boy to shine your shoes,
and DO perfume TO dampen the downy
eyebrows. But that is not all. Oh mer-
cy, no. II such little inconvenience as
these were the only lacking details in
the United States Postoffice Barber
shop they might be endured. But they
are not No. indeed The one thing
that marks MI Barnes efforts as anna
flourish is his failure 10 provide a dainty
manicurist. How in the world can an
Ep-tO-date letter carrier hand mail
through sOciety's doors with hands that
are not manicuTeds with nails that are
not properly polished Why, it's utterly
ridiculous TO expect one TO patrOniZe q
shop so thoroughly deficient.
And besides-the shaves are not freel
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-02-11
Barbering al swing IL.

Should the hand of the carrier find
itself weak and shaky early IN the morn
ing be need not worry about welding
the razor at his own fireside. He can
hnger a bit ionser. over his coffee, II
the laTdor permits. have a second one.
during the time heretofore devoted to
the face-scrapiug operation.
To guard his tender flesh from the
penetrating cold and the merciless wind
he may wear TO the office the previous
days growth of beard. Arriving there
ne can. at swing time saUuter into
the barber shop. sink luXUriOusly hack
into the cushions Of the chair and order
the attendant 10 begin the identifying
act.
Some OF the younger members %
the force feel that as long as Mr. Barnes
started up the barbering business he
might at least have completed his work,
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-02-11
Washington MaiIme'1,
LnmacuIateLy Barbmed,
Want Fair Ma11lcaty2st

A clearly shaver face with every
letter.
Carefully parted Eai- with each good
morning"
Esthetic Washington may be happy,
for in the future, its deIioateIy scented
mail will be delivered Dy carriers as
Immediately barbcred as a favorlte
cotIiion leader. The pompous butler
who receives the mail on his shiny
silver tray will present a visage no
cleaner ana no smoother than the man
En- gray.
Postmaster Barnes is the originator
Of the order which viii make his sub
ordinates walking demonstrations OF the
highest development Of she tonsoriaI
art. Realizing that the carriers daily
come into contact with the elite Of
Washington society he has made pro
vision for their facial comfort. He has,
in fact. installed a barber in the swing
room o. the delivery division between
the hours Of 9 o'clock in the morning and
o'clock ia the afternoon.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-02-11

One Of these youngsters is so very,
very indignant thai he can scarcely re
strain himself
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-02-11
zGth Tear OF Success IN Washington
The BerIitZ School OfLaneua6sS

~ 18th st. y. ". Trial Lessons Free
Grand Prizes, ST. Louis 'o4: Liege. 's5
French, German, Spanish. etc Native teachers
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-02-11

Realizing the necessity of having he
take place at once, the mayor
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12
Increased by Proper Feeding.

A lady writer who not only has done
good literary work. but reared a fam
ily. found in Grape-Nuts the ideal food
for brain work and to develop healthy
children. She writes:
81 am an enthusiastic proclaimer OF
Grape Nuts as a regular diet. / for
merly had no appetite in the morning
and for s years while nursing my four
children, had insufficient nourishment
for them.
unable to eat breakfast 1 felt faint
later. and would go to the pantry and
eat cold chops, sausage, cookies.
doughnuts or anything | happened to
find. Being writer. at times my
head felt heavy and my brain asleep.
when 1 read of Grape-Nuts began
eating 1t every morning. also gave it
TO the children. including my III
months old baby. who soon grew as
fat as a little pig, good natured and
contented.
81 wrote evenings and feeling the
need of sustained brain power, began
eating a small saucer of Grape-Nuts
with milk. instead of my usual indi-
pestible hot pudding. pie. or cake for
dessert at night.
81 grew plump. nerves strong. and
wben I wrote my brain was active and
clear: indeed, the dull head pain never
POSTUM CEREAL CO.. Ltd.
Battle Greek. Mich
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12
SHE COULD NOT WALK
For Notwithstanding Humor on Ankles
-opiates Alone Brought Sleep
Eczema Yielded to Cuticura.

81 had eczema for over two years.
had two physicians, but they only
gave me relief for a short time and /
cannot enumerate the ointments and
lotions l used to no purpose. My ank-
les were one mass of sores. The itch
ing and burning were so intense that
/ could not sleep. could not walk for
nearly four months. One day my hus-
band said had better try the Cuticura
Remedies. After using them three
times / had the best nights rest in
months unless I took an opiate. l
used one set of Cuticura Soap, ONT
ment, and Pills, and my ankles healed
in short time. II is now year since
used Cuticura. and there has been no
return of the eczema. Mrs. David
Brown. Locke. Ark, May IS and July
10, 1907"
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Abe, a light mulatto, called upon a
minister for whom he had formerly
worked.
''Yo' know, boss. Use gwine be mar
ried mex week." he admitted hating
ly. according to Lippincott's Maya
zine. Use gwine to marry Miss May
Felicity Johnson, an May she say
she wants ter be married JUS like
white folks" "All right, Abe, I'll
marry you IL you want" the minister
replied. How much you gwine
charger" 1T will cost you IS to be
married like white folks" Abe
scratched his head. Guess we'll hab
ter be married like colored folks,
then" he said. You see. boss, we's
goin' to housekeepin', an amt got
but S."
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12
PURE FOOD.
No Food Commissioner Of Any State
Has Ever Attacked the Absolute
Purity Of Grape-Nuts.

Every analysis undertaken shows
this food to be made strictly OF Wheat
and Barley, treated by our processes
to partially transform the starch
parts into form of Sugar, and there
fore much easier to digest.
Our claim that it is "Food for
Brain and Nerve Centres" is based
upon the fact that certain parts of
Wheat and Barley (which we use) con-
tain Natures brain and nerve building
ingredients. viz: Phosphate Of Pot.
ash. and the way We prepare the food
makes it easy to digest and assimilate.
DR.. Geo. w. Carey in his book on
THE Biochemic System of Medicine"
says:
when the medical profession fully
understands the nature and range of
the phosphate of potassium, insane
asylums will no longer be needed.
THE gray matter of the brain is
controlled entirely by the inorganic
cellsalt, potassium phosphate.
This salt unites with albumen. and
by the addition of oxygen creates nerve
fluid, or the gray matter of the brain.
"Of course. there is trace of other
salts and other organic matter in
nerve-fuid. but potassium phosphate
is the chief factor, and has the power
within itself to attract, by its own law
of affinity. all things needed to manu-
facture the elixir of life. Therefore,
when nervous symptoms arise. due to
the fact that the nerve-fluid has been
exhausted from any cause, the phos-
phate of potassium is the only true
remedy, because nothing else can
possibly supply the deficiency.
THE ills arising from too rapidly
consuming the gray matter of the
brain cannot be overestimated.
phosphate of Potash. is to my
mind, the most wonderful curative
agent ever discovered by man. and
the blessings it has already conferred
on the race are many. But what
shall the harvest be- when physicians
everywhere fully understand the part
this wonderful salt plays in the
processes of life? 1t will do as much
as can be done through physiology to
make heaven on earth.
Let the overworked business man
take it and go home good-tempered.
Let the weary VIE, nerves nstIuuS
from attending to sick children or en-
tertaining company, take it and note
how quickly the equilibrium will be
restored and calm and reason assert
her throne No 'provings' are required
here. We find this potassium salt
largely predominates in nerve-fuid,
and that deficiency produces we'll
defined symptoms. The beginning and
end of the matter is to supply the
lacking principle. and in molecular
form, exactly as nature furnishes it in
vegetables, fruits and grain. To sup
ply deficiencies-this is the only law
of cure"
Please observe that Phosphate Of
Potash is not properly of the drug
shop variety but is best prepared by
"Old Mother Nature" and stored in
the grains ready for use by mankind
Those who have been helped to better
health by the use of Grape-Nuts are
legion.
..There's a Reason"
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12
CARE OF THE KITCHEN.
Clean Walls Are an Essential to
Sanitary Cooking.

It is not only important to know
how to cook, but it is equally impor-
tant to know where to cook. Cook
ing in a dirty kitchen can never pro-
duce good food. The idea Is simply
preposterous. yet kitchen walls are
left for neutrality-suspicious. for years
without cleansing.
In the first place the kitchen wall
should have light tint that the mer-
est fieck OF dirt can be seen; that the
sheerest cobweb can be brushed
away; that the tiniest water bug can
be discerned. 1t is all folly expecting
clean food in a kitchen with dirty
walls.
Never put a wall coating on a
kitchen wall that is mixed with hot
water or that has glue in 1t. or sour
milk in 1t If mixed with cold water.
Glue walls made from horses hoofs
colored up with cheap colorings do
not indicate good housekeeping. The
glue is constantly fecking off. fall
ing into the food and the idea of food
favored with glue made from horses
hoofs is not appetizing.
Kitchen walls to be thoroughly sat
isfactory should be alabastined the
same as every other wall in the
house. They should be coated regu-
larly in the spring and fall of each
year with light tint.
f. The care of the pantry requires
constant attention. The walls should
be brushed over every year. the
dishes removed from the shelves
which should be thoroughly wiped
with hot water. If there are ant
holes or any other insects In the PAN
tries thick putty of the wall coat
ing can be made and all the ant holes.
even small mice holes can be filled
with 1t which will protect the pantry
from the incursions Of disagreeable
insects and mice.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12
AS YET UNKNOWN TO FAME.
Can Any One Place This Quotation
from Philosopher?

Louis Jones of the Grand opera
house had the blues. His brother, a
colored man, usually in good humor,
had 'em. too. Neither knew Just why
he had EN-, but they had em Just the
same. They talked of the weather,
the times and dozen other gloomy
subjects. There was nothing sunny
in the soul of patron or a barber.
Finally both sighed in concert and q
silence fell over the shop-yes, over a
barber shop. The colored man was
the first to speak. After several mo-
ments of silence he gave vent to an
other sigh and said:
well, as de old philosopah says:
+ Eff yo' amt got nothin.' now's yo'
time"
Jones is still wondering who the
philosopher was.-Indianapolis News.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

The messenger boys paused outside
the Army building. says the New York
Sun. One of them was selecting a
cigarette from n box.
Gimme one," said the smokeless
boy.
Nav" said the other, they cost
money"
"I'll owe you n cent" said the first
boy. Come on, I'll pay you after"
They cost more than a cent" said
the boy with the cigarettes. "Nothin'
dom. Your credit amt no good
And they parted.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Sheer white goods. in fact, any fine
wash goods when new, owe much of
their attractiveness to the way they
are Numbered. this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory If proper attention was
given to starching, the first essential
being good Starch, which has sufficient
strength to stiffen. without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance of your work.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Starch. like everything else, is be
ing constantly improved. the patent
Starches put on the market rs years
ago are very different and inferior to
those of the present day. In the lat
est Observation-Disclosures Starch-all l..
furious chemicals are omitted, while
the addition of another ingredient, in
vented by US. gives to the Starch a
strength and smoothness never ap.
preached by other brands.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12
HELPFUL
ADVICE

You won't tell your family doctor
the whole story about your private
illness you are too modest. You
need not be afraid to tell Mrs. Pink
ham, at Lynn, Mass, the things you
could not explain to the Doctor. Your
letter will be held in the striotest con-
.fidence. From her vast correspond
ence with sick women during the
past thirty years she may have
gained the very knowledge that will
help youreasc. Such lettersasthe fol-
lowing, from grateful women, es-
tablish beyond a doubt the power of
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Send Us the mines of your friends
who want plano. and If we secure an
order as a result we will give you So
In geld for your trouble. Send all the
details you can and write plainly The
Knight ampbeIl Music Co., 1851
California St. Denver. Colo.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

STATE or ono: CIT, n, OF TOLEDO IS.
FRANK j. CHENEY makes oath that he IL senior
psrtner of tho nrn of }. CHENEY q Co; ding
business In the city of Toledo. County sud state
afores.id and that said nrm will pay thr sum of
ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS for each aud every
case Of that cAnnvt be cured by the use OF
HALLS CATAKEu CURE. - ....
Sworn befpre me AID sub-e rilrd Ia my presence,
this sth day Of December. A. d.. 1850.
A. W. GLEASON,
.rMt xorAnr PUBLIC.
e.. Halls Catsrrh Cure 10 taken Internally and acts
directly the bo',d and mucous surfaces OF tho
system. Send for testimp nlAl. free. -
r. CHENEY CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by all Druggists. ,5c.
take Hail Family Pills for constipation.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Marengo. the famous war charger OF
Napoleon. is said to have been the
greatest horse known to modern his
tory. The emperor rode Marengo for
the last time In the battle of Mt. St.
Jean. where the horse received his sew
enth wound. The steed died at the
age of thirty.six
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Patience-I see it is said that the
renting of wedding outfits is a large
industry in France. | frequently hap
pens that everything used Is hired for
the occasion.
Patrice-Wonder what they have to
pay for hiring the rice and old shoes
Yonkers Statesman
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Such an angel of a hat" chirped the
vain woman, as she twirled before the
mirror yellow and white. What
does 1t remind you of, my dear?"
The big man in the embroidered slip
pers looked up from his paper
yellow and white?" he repeated.
"Well. now. on the level, it reminds
me OF fried egg
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Last year the British postoffice tele-
graph was operated at loss of over
a1,0OO.00O, although the receipts for
the year were the largest ever known.
reaching a total of $20.57S,sS0. re-
view covering thirty-se:en years is in
cluded in the return. and shows that
the total loss on the service during
that period has amounted to 81 .359.'
49,
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Though the British automobile trade
is prosperous beyond precedent this
year, the bicycle trade has been I'M
usually depressed. chiefly because Of
the wet summer. and partly because
the new Australian ;ariff amounts TO
prohibition of exports to that colony.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Joseph H. Choate. foimer ambas-
sador TO Great Britain, will deliver
the grafton at the University of Penn
sylvania annual celebration OF Wash
ington's birthday. Mr.. Choate. who is
now practicing law in New York. has
not announced his subject, but it is
presumed that he will speak on some
jmpOrtant national subject.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

clifford Pinchot. head Of the forest
service. is diligently working TO the
end of having forestry taught in the
public schools. believing that by this
means interest in the great subject OF
conservation of the forests can be pro-
NOTED and that it will not be long. II
children are taught to.protect the tim
Der supply, until q revolution in sent!-
ment has been wrought and the re-
suits be manifest.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Richard T. Crane. The millionaire
philanthropist. has presented property
valued at $4,000 to the Hull House.
Chicago. as a tribute to his first wife.
the mother of his seven children. II
will be known as the Mary Crane
Memorial day nursery.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

The new immigration plan in the
state of Sac Paulo. and more or less
in Brazil in general. is to found col
onies of people of one nationality.
Hence the secretary of agriculture at
Sac Paulo Is making arrangements to
establish several German colonies at
once. At present the 100000 Italians
constitute the dominant nationality.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

The British board of agriculture has
recently published some statistics
which show that England's foreign
food bill has doubled in amount during
the last twenty years. In 1856 1t was
approximately 100000 900. In 1906
the amount had grown to $1,000.000.-
OOO
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

you wrong me-" said Flooding Pete,
when you say amt willin' to work
I'm Just dyin' to work"
"Then what's the trouble?"
I'm too conscientious Whenever !
git job I'm SO anxious to fill it well
dat l gifts stage fright"
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

bles. bearing down sensations. etc.
On June goth. 1907. four and one-half
years later. she said: II haven't had
kidney trouble since. repeat my
testimony"
Sold by all dealers. so cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo. N. Y.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

ney troubles. Is that
relief lasting? Let
Mrs. James NJ. Long.
of 113 Augusta ST..
Staunton, Va, tell
you. OnJanuary 31st,
1908, Mrs. Long
wrote: "Doan's Kid
ney Pills have cured
me" (of pain in the
back, urinary trou-
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Mrs. Anetta E. McCrea, the first
woman landscape architect in this
country. is the official landscape arch
itect for the st. Paul road, and con-
sulting landscape architect for other
Western roads.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12
The Ruling Passion.

The young man asked the banker
For his fair and only child.
The banker nodded gravely.
And then he grimly smiled.
Amazed. the young man heard him
Reply in business phrase:
"IIl have to file your notice
Come back in sixty days"
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

The nourishment in three baked
bananas. weighing one pound. is equal
to that of twenty.six pounds of bread.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Making things appear to prove what
we want them to prove. is one way;
having them prove what they do
prove Is another way.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Friend-Your little wife is a bril-
liantly handsome woman. | should
think you'd be Jealous OF her. Host
(confidentially)--To tell the truth.
Simkins. am. I'never invite anybody
here that any sane woman would take
a. fancy to.-London Illustrated Bits.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

A light of one candlepower is plainly
visible at one mile. and a-light of three
candlepower at two miles.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

When Your Throat Feels Sore
get a 25c box of Browns Bronchial
Trochea They give immediate relief.
Contain nothing injurious.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

or course there is nothing new un.
der the sun, but almost any druggi5t
can give you something Just as good.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12
Shot BY Hold-Up.

Pueblo.-In the boldest holdup that
ever occurred in this city, Joe Russ.
a young Austrian, was shot dead and
six of his countrymen routed by
lone highwayman at ten O'Clock Sun
day night.
The holdup, with its fatal results, is
rendered all the more tragic by the
fact that Russ. after long, hard labor.
had just succeeded in laying by suiii-
cient funds to take him back to his
young wife and child IN the old coun-
try and that he had already written
them that he would leave for home
next week.
The affair occurred under the bridge
across Santa Fe street and near the
Eiler smelter. The Austrians were re-
turning home from town when the
bandit stepped out of the shadow and
ordered them. Hold up your hands,"
Instead of complying with his request
or rushing upon him. the seven. all of
whom are big. stalwart smelter work
ers, frightened by the bandits gun,
fed.
Seeing that his commands were not
obeyed, the man shot-once, some OF
the Austrians say: five times. others
affirm. One of the bullets struck Russ
in the back, passing through his heart
and killing him instantly. The high
wayman escaped.
Denver-A Republican special from
Telluride Sunday night says: After
daring Marshal Willard Reynolds half
way to fight duel, Humane Officer S.
F. Austin of this place was this morn
ing shot through the left elbow. the
bone being so badly shattered that his
arm had to be amputated near the
shoulder this afternoon. So far as can
be learned there had been no previous
trouble between the two men. Mar
shall Reynolds claims that he shot in
self defense. and says he had never
quarreled with Austin. whom he be-
lieves was intoxicated this morning.
He-has not been arrested Since the
shooting Austin has refused to talk.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

Shortly after man goes up against
TIE matrimonial game his bump OF
hope becomes dent.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12

The fox may lose his hair. but moi
his cunning.-Dutch.
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12
THE TIME TEST.
Tina. Is What Proves True Merit.

Doan's Kidney Pills bring the quick
est of relief from backache and kid
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12
LYDIA E. PINkHAIMiS
VEGETABLE COMPOUND

to conquer all female diseases.
Mrs. Norman II. Barndt, of Allen
town, Pa.5 writes:
Ever since 1 was sixteen years Of
age had suffered from an organic de-
rangement and female weakness in
consequence Ishnd dreadful ,headaches
and was extremely nervous. My physi-
clan said 1 must go through an opera-
ton to get, we'll. A friend told me
about Lydia EJ Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound. and took it and wrote you
for advice, following your directions
carefully, and thanks TO you am to-
day n well woman, and 1 san@tening
ali my friends of my experience"
The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-02-12
His Difficulty.

Punctuation marks were first used
In 1890.