The Washington times., 1908-11-20
Wife Says His Bagain Pur-
chase Is Just What She
Does Not Want.
SO, DISAPPOINTED,
HE FILLS REQUEST
She Makes Out List of What She
Does Need" an, TO Keep
Peace, He Buys Them All.

4 bought a hair mttress the other
day." said the man. satlus himself on
the edge OF the desk nd swinging his
feet
How interesting" ImuTmured.
Then the dealer indeed me 10 buy a
wire spring" went or the man.
THAT being the nitural accompanI-
ment to the mattress. said L
Then he made me AXE brass bed. &c
continued the man.
1T sounds something Ike the house
that Jack BULL"
And then I went lome to retribution
dire and swift" siged my visitor -
did not tell my wife Ibout my purchases
all in one breath Isort of broke them
20 her. 1 commenced with the spring.
and when she had cot used to the idea
OF II I mentioned tie mattress, aid she
grew indignant, Ten with a plunge I
told her about the brass bed, and she
nearly raised the DoE''
i should have uought she would be
pleased" said 1.
so should l." responded tho man. II
looked for a few Iind words, and / re-
ceived a roast that won't forget for
many a year. Afer I had heard IN 81
1ence reproaches which cut me TO the
heart and made ne feel like a stage viii
lain, I asserted myself. VIII you be
good enough to tdl me what is the mat
terP I asked.
She Hates Brass Beds.
Matter enough almost sobbed my
WIFE here are you buying expensive
and unnecessar! articles like brass beds,
while there ar any number of things
which 1 need 8ld need terribly. You in
tend that bras bed 10 replace my ma
hOgany bed, and 1 love that mahogany
bed better than a brother. / hoped 10
die on and be buried with that mahog-
any bed. Ard L hate brass beds, and
you have bought one"
" What are the things you need so
much?' 1 asked, with what calmuess /
could manage.
I'm very sorry now 1 asked the ques-
tlOn. think you Will admit il W as not
prudent question, but for once / threw
pruden to the winds, and richly was L
you tie exact truth. / had not an idea
there we're so many things in the world
as my wife told me We needed.
" We need rug for the hail." said
my wife. we need a lamp for the
library, we need some chairs for the
dining-rOOm, I need a new suit, 1 need
a new hat, Marian needs a new hat.
Marian needs new shoes. We need some
ing pin, and some pans, a WasJe-basket,
a pair Of scissors, and a veil-and you,
you buy brass beds, which we do not
need
Pauses for Breath.
She paused for breath, and sat
down heavily where / was and pursued
my unpleasant reflections to their lair"
Then what did you do?'' / inquired.
as the man hesitated.
Then / looked upon my wifes tears.
and was melted, and IL occurred to me
that when a fellow has got himself into
a scrape, the best thing he can do is to
admit his fault and make reparation.
&" Mabel said 1, TO my wife. coldly.
make a list OF the things you need
d" What is the use" she asked, bit
terly. why should I torment myself
writing down hopes which can never be
realized because you are addicted to
the brass bed habit@ And 1 give you
my word, this IS the only bed 1 have
ever bought In my whole life, and it's
the only one / am ever going TO buy, so
i really can't be said to be addicted 10
the habit now can y
However. she wrote the list, and l
observed that she got a certain melan-
choly pleasure out of making IL long
one, and putting on il articles which
she had not mentioned TO me.
Then she handed 1t over, and I read
it slowly.
q" Tomorrow said ]. we viii go down
town together and buy these articles
Now, i give you my word she was
disappointed. 1t was so unexpected, my
ofIer and il so knocked the props from
under her grievance that she was really
and truly disappointed, and If you can
tell me why women are Ike that, l
shall be pleased to hear"
LEONORE CALVERT.