davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
MEAN MANS GREAT SCHEME.
Boasts How He "Works" His Poor
DeIuded Wife.

Two men were standing together in
a corridor of a post Office. One of
them happened to notice that post
card, held in the fingers of the other,
was addressed to the holder.
Why, what does this mean?" he
asked. do you address letters to
yourself?"
In this case, yes," was the answer.
That's funny
We'll, not SO very. See the other
side
He held it up, and the other side
read: BRO. Blank-There will be a
meeting of the /. D. o. S. B., No. 3S7,
at the hall, the evening of October 1,
to transact special business. Mem
bers not present will be fined five dol
lars. ]. B. -, secretary.
Yes, but / don't exactly catch on
protested the innocent.
'Oh, you don't? Well, I got the
cards printed myself; the society is all
myth. When I want to go out of an
evening l direct one of these cards
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
EYEsIGAT WAS IN DANGER
a Mass of itching Rash and Sores
Disease Cured by Cuticura.

"Our little girl was two months old
when she got a rash on her face and
within five days her face and head
were all one sore. We used different
remedies but it got worse instead OF
better and we thought she would turn
blind and that her ears would fall off.
She suffered terribly, and would
scratch until the blood came. This
went on until she was five months old.
then had her under our family doc
tors care, but she continued to grow
worse He said it was eczema. When
she was seven months old | started
to use the Cuticura Remedies and in
two months our baby was a different
girl. You could not see a sign of a
sore and she was as fair as a new
born baby. She has not had a sign OF
the eczema since. Mrs. II. f. Budke,
LeSueur, Mimi, Apr. Is and May 2. or"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Ice in Dentistry.

The first use of ice in dental opera
tions was in what the public term the
freezing system" This application
is still in use in provincial towns, but
it has for several years past been dis.
continued in London and other large
cities.
The first use of ice in this way was
in America The ice was cut up fine,
placed in small bags SO shaped as to
fit each side of the jaw and the
wretched patient held these in his
mouth until the desired temperature
was reached, when the operator ex.
tracted the offending molar or molars.
To-day cold air is pumped into the
mouth with more effect and without
any of the pain and Inconvenience
that must have attended the more
primitive style. Iced water is always
used by dentists in America, but is
never used anywhere else.-Ice and
Cold Storage.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
MOOSE AS FLOWER PIckERs.
Monarchs of the Forest ReVeI ir
Luxuriant Lily Ponds.

At first thought it would appear i'm
possible that such large, gaunt deni-
zens of the forest as moose could in
anyway be interested in flowers. They
are, however, exceedingly fond of feed
ing on all kinds of water lilies. Few
people know that these flowers grow
from thick snakelike rootstocks which
are so firmly attached to the bottom
that the strongest man cannot loosen
them. 1t is from these firmly moored
rootstocks that the much admired
leaves and flowers strive toward the
light.
A well-known naturalist, who stud
led the habits of the animals in north
ern Minnesota, where moose are more
numerous than in any other part of
the world, often found two or three
big bulls engaged in gathering their
morning meal on the lake bottom. The
great beasts would slowly stalk about
in three or four feet of water and
often their heads would be under wa
ter for half minute at a time, so
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Original Constitution MISSING.

Where is the original copy Of the
constitution of Wisconsin passed in
1S4S? This question has puzzled PEG.
pie for years. Those interested in
old documents have long applied at
the secretary of states Office to see
if it can be located. 1t cannot AT
the office is a neatly copied constitu.
ton of about Is pages. The names
signed to the document, however, are
not the signatures of the signers, but
are hand printed names by the copyist
of the signers by counties. 1t is be
lieved the original copy of the cons.t
tuition was sent to the printer and
never returned. The copy is rolled
and kept in a round tin can.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

that their backs would look like
powders just protruding from the
stream. Then pair of magnificent
antlers would come up, and the water
would be shaken out of the big ears
with a Tapping noise that could be
heard for a quarter of q mile, and
then the big. long muzzle would be
leisurely chewing a dripping mouthful
of water lily leaves and other plants
gathered from the bottom.
So intent were the huge animals on
gathering flowers that several times
the naturalist could row up close
enough to secure a good photograph
before they splashed noisily back TO
the shore and disappeared in the
black spruce. When the moose find a
good lily pond they continue feeding
in it until the plants are almost ex-
terminated.-The Sunday Magazine.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Many Petitions Placed on File.

Petitions have been filed in the
Office of the secretary of state nomi-
mating three candidates for congress
sional district delegates to the Re-
publican national convention and
four candidates for delegates-at-
large and from each congressional dis
trict to the Democratic national con
VentiOn.
Republican candidates who filed pc
titions were as follows: Fifth con
gressional district, Sheriff William r.
Knell of Milwaukee, 1,167 signatures
on petitions; State Senator Lockney
of Waukesha, 428 signatures; Eighth
district, DR.. John r. Currens of She
boygan Falls, 313 signatures.
The candidates for delegates to the
Democratic national convention who
filed petitions were: Melvin A. Hoyt
of Milwaukee, 1851 signatures, Con
gresham Charles HI. Weisse of She
boygan Falls, 2,435; John A. Awkward
of Madison, 1888; Herbert H. Man
son of Wausau, 2,460.
The delegates will be elected at the
primary on April z.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
GOT 1T SOMEWHAT MIXED.
Little Incident That Happened at the
Monthly Musicale.


Monthly Musicale.
Margaret Durham was the latest ar
rival at Miss Simmons select board
ing school, and being pretty and well
dressed she was popular.
Would she be an usher at the
monthly musicale? Margaret was hor
ribly shy. She never could do it
oh, never! But the chosen five elected
her for the sixth, so the evening found
her a perfect flutter of white frills
ard pink bows (this was the pink
musicale) awaiting to receive the
early corners. Each of the hardened
five bore forward an imposing audi
tor, and Margaret found herself in.
quiring of very ancient and elegant
old gentleman in voice scarcely
audible: "Sir, shall / show you to
seat?"
What, what, what?" demanded the
elderly party, irascibly, holding his
hand to his ear.
Sir" screamed the 1ustered novice.
shall / sew you to a sheet?"
Then five lace handkerchiefs were
crammed into five tittering mouths
while Miss Margaret bolted from the
scene of her discontinue, and the five
were left to do the honors.-Harper'
Weekly.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
IN MANY LINES OF BUSINESS.
Witness Evidently Was a Man Of TN
usual Qualifications.

S. T. Jocelyn of Wichita was court
stenographer for Judge Pancoast or
Oklahoma for several years. One time
a case was being tried before Judge
Pancoast and they were endeavoring
to find out through witness whether
there had been any liquor sold.
What is your business?" asked the
lawyer MY business?" repeated the
witness laconically. "Oh, l have lots
of business" Answer the question"
said the lawyer. What is your bust
ness?" Must l tell all my hnsiness?"
insisted the witness again. Answer
the question" interposed the judge
severely.
We'll" responded he cheerfully.
I'm deputy sheriff and city marshal
for Gunner, janitor of the church aud
bartender of the El Paso saloon.
Kansas City Times.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
State Capital Notes
Weekly Budget Gathered by Our
Special Correspondent at Madison.

Madison.-Plans have been COM
pleted for the new animal husbanGry
building for the college of agriculture
at the University of Wisconsin, the
feature of which is to be great horse
and cattle judging pavilion with a
seating capacity of 1000. The build
ing will be 210 feet long by 10 feet
wide, one of the largest buildings of
the agricultural group. The tanbark
arena of the judging pavilion will be
$50 feet by 6S feet, and will be we'll
adapted for stock exhibitions The
new structure will be begun early this
spring, and will be located on the
south side of Linden drive, between
Box Elder drive and the horse barns,
so feet back from University avenue.
This building has for some time been
the most pressing need of the cOH-
lege of agriculture. The Wisconsin
Draft Horse Breeders association and
other cattle and horse breeding organ
izatiOns have been looking forward
with interest to this new building,
since it will afford the best accommo-
dations anywhere in the state for
stock exhibitions and sales. Stock
men will bring high quality represen-
tatives of their flocks and herds annu-
ally to the agricultural college for
sale. Stock sales of this nature at an
agricultural college are novel fea-
ture in America. No other agricultur-
al college has building of the kind
proposed, and no other college has
thus Gar undertaken work on these
lines. The valuable pure bred stock
of the university will also be accom-
modated in the new building.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

me case or Alfred DE Musse., VINO
was restless visionary and slightly
maniacal," is most interesting In the
Cafe de la Regence it was his habit to
order a plate of cigars and a frightful
mixture of beer and absinthe, which
he would swallow in a gulp. They Ga
Musset would settle himseag scNiYr
against the back of the divaE and i1eas
one cigar after another until the rssee
was empty. At half-past eievea Tao
waiter would hail cab. lead the poet
by the arm, and put him safely into
the vehicle. He would let himself be
taken quietly to his house, where his
old nurse put him to bed like a child.
Even the great Napoleon had his
particular brand of insanity. He be-
lieved in presentiments and horo-
scopes, as is well known, and Prof.
Grasset says further he suffered from
a habitual twitching of the right
shoulder and of the lips" lola used
to count the number of gas jets in the
streets, the numbers on the doors and
chiefly the numbers on cabs. Balzac
had an ambulatory mania. One eve.
ming, when he had put on handsome
new dressing gown, he wanted to go
into the street with it on and with a
lamp in his hand to excite the admira-
ton of the public. Schopenhauer al
ways suspected that he was possessed
of demon. He said he could feel it
within him. He used to pass entire
weeks without speaking to anybody
Swift announced in his youth that he
would go mad, and, as matter of fact,
he did.
Some Curious HalIucinations.
Edgar Allan Poe drank, as Baude-
laire has said, like a savage" He
was subject to the most horrible hal
fluctuations. Halter, the celebrated
psychologist, believed he was being
continually pursued by enemies. He
took enormous doses of opium. New
ton became insane in his old age.
Beethoven, who always washed in ice
water, would lift it up with his hands,
scolding all the while, and dash a
quantity OF water on his face and his
hair without noticing that it made a
pool on the floor, in which he splashed
about like a duck
In connection with Prot. Grasset's
work it is interesting to note that DR..
Henry S. Atkins of the ST. Louis Asy-
lum for the Insane has recently been
putting theory of his own to prac-
teal test. He has been sending insane
women out in small parties to visit
the department stores and particularly
the bargain counters to do some shop
ping. The insane women were in
charge of keepers, but gave no trouble.
The patients purchased with a keen
regard of appearance and value, just
as their normal sisters were buying
all about them. Apparently the sales
women noted nothing unusual in their
demeanor.
DR.. Atkins said that such recreation
as that afforded by day in the stores
is a valuable part of the treatment for
the insane. Just as normal persons
are better merry than moody, so, he
says his charges are improved by any
thing that pleasantly occupies their
minds while not at the same time ex-
citing their nerves.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Nominating Papers Filled.

William Ruger of GAINESVILLE filed his
nomination papers as candidate for
justice of the supreme court. Will
liam Mauthe of FOND du Lac and
Henry Krumrey of Plymouth filed Pc
titions as candidates for delegates to
the Republican national convention
from the Sixth congressional district
Supplementary petitions were filed by
II. G. Martin of Darlington and Perry
G. Wilder of Evansville as candidates
for delegates to the Republican ma
tional convention from the First con.
gressional district
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
What's a Widower2

Is widower a married or a single
man?
This question continually crops up
and it is continually being answered
both ways. Certainly a widower is
married-he is not bachelor That
is one answer. Certainly, on the other
hand, no matter what the man once
was, he is single now. That is the
other answer Thus in all match
games of single against married men
games of hockey, football, baseball.
cricket-the poor widower is tossed
from one side to the other like shut
tleclock The solution depends solely
upon his skill.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Seek Rhodes Scholarships.

Thomas ]. McClernan, OF, a resi-
dent of Madison, scholar in
Latin and Greek in the University of
Wisconsin, has been selected by a
committee of the faculty as the uni.
versity's candidate for the Rhodes
scholarship. The other candidates are
e. A. Houghton of Lawrence uni
versity; Wesley Aver of Beloit, and
William f. McGucken of Marquette
university. The final decision upon
the candidate to represent the state
will be made March 20.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Keen the Scalp Clean.

A distinguished physician states that
if the scalp is kept thoroughly clean
one rarely contracts contagious dis
eases. This doctor, who has worked
long among immigrants and the poorer
classes, declares that when the hair
is allowed to become dirty and matted
it is almost impossible to escape in
lection.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Nothing to It.

A gentleman, whose name is with.
held by request and who conducted
large bakery until he lost all he
had on the stock market, is quoted as
authority for the assertion that this
casting bread upon the water don't
always work out 1ust as some folks
claim it does."-Toiedo Blade.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Cashiers Shortage is $4,000.

State Banking Commissioner M. c.
Bergh said that the shortage discov.
cred in the accounts of Cashier John
Ruth of the State bank of Arcadia
amounted to about $4,000 and had
been made good by the stockholders
of the institution Owing to the seri-
Gus illness of Ruth, no criminal
charge has been made against him,
though it was said to be likely that
one will be as soon as he RECEIVERS
sufficiently to be arraigned in court.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
To Hear Anneal Anril 9.

April 8 has been set as the date
when the state tax commission will
hear the appeal of six towns of Wau-
kesha county from the personal prop
erty valuations as fixed by the equal
ization committee of the county board
at the November session. The towns
which appealed are Oconomowoc,
Menomonie, Merton, Pewaukee, Brook
field and New Berlin.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Solve Lies Problems.

To resolutely and tenderly, day aft
e~ day, commend ourselves to the hand
of God. to do our best, to decide as
simply and sincerely as possible what
our path should be, and then leave
the issue humbly and quietly with
God.-The Upton Letters.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

to my house. reach home, and my
wife hands it to me, with a sigh.
offer to stay at home and stand the
fine of the flyer, but, of course, she
won't allow that. That's all, my
friend, except that the scheme is
worked by hundreds of others, and
our poor deluded wives haven't tum-
bled to it yet"-Detroit News Trib
une
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Favor Taft for President.

State and congressional delegates
have been placed in the field in Wis
consin for William H. Taft for presi-
dent. DR.. Charles E. Barker of Madi-
son, a personal friend of the war Sec
taYy, will be a candidate from this
congressional district. Miles P. AL
verson of Portage will be the other
candidate. The list of delegates-at-
large is headed by Gen. F. G. Wink
Ter, one of the best-known lawyers Of
the state. Dane county has candi-
date for delegate-at-large in Capt
J. M. Estes of Dunkirk.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Sanderson Is Reinstated.

Deputy Game Warden H. j. San
derson of Sturgeon Bay has been re-
instated in the Office from which he
was summarily removed. Some time
ago Sanderson was dismissed and sub
sequently charges were preferred
against him alleging incompetency.
The suit in the circuit court to compel
the state game warden to reinstate
him has been withdrawn and Sander
son has been sent a letter reinstating
him and asking him to begin services
in the position he formerly occupied
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Second Course to BE Given.

The first agricultural extension
course given at the Winnebago Coun-
ty Agricultural school in Winneconne
by the University of Wisconsin last
week proved so successful that it has
already resulted in second course,
to be given at the Marinette County
Agricultural school in Marinette,
March IL, Is, 10 and 20.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Judge Has No Opposition.

Papers nominating Judge e. Stew
ems of Madison for reelection as judge
of the Nineteenth judicial circuit, con-
sisting of Dane and Sank counties,
were filed in the office of the secre-
tary of state. The petitions contain
1876 signatures or over $500 more
than necessary. Judge Stevens will
not have any opposition.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Egyptian Proverb.

IF God proposes the destruction of
an ant, he allows wings to grow upon
her." Which means that you should
not attempt TO fly too high, young
man. Consider the case of Icarus.-
New York Press.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Will Readvertisc for Bids.

Believing that they secure better
contracts by not requiring certain wa
ter marked paper, the state commits
sioners of public printing have de-
cided to readvertise for bids to be
opened on April Is. The contract will
carry about 100000.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

these years of pain | was despairing
of ever being cured when Doan's Kid
ney Pills came to my notice and their
use brought quick relief and a perma-
nent cure. l am very grateful"
Sold by all dealers SO cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. Y.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Will Readvertise for Bids.

Believing that they secure better con-
tracts by not requiring certain water
marked paper, the state commissioners
of public printing have decided to re-
advertise for bids to be opened on
April Is. The contract will carry
about $4,000.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Stony Silence.

A New York millionaire has had
room hewn in the solid rocks beneath
his Riverside drive residence to get
away from noises. 1t will be sad If the
rocks their silence break.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

ten years l was in
misery with back
ache. The simplest
Homework complete
~ exhausted me. I
had no strength or
ambition and suf-
fered headache and
dizzy spells. After
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Short Course Ended.

The annual IA weeks course in agri-
culture at the University of Wiscon-
sin closed March IL, when approx
mately 400 first and second-year stu
dents left for their homes after study
ing scientific agriculture. About ESQ
were here for the first time.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
Immensity of Siberia.

Siberia contains one-ninth of all the
land ON the globe. Great Britain and
all Europe, except Russia, together
with the whole United States, could
be inclosed within it's boundaries.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
That eround.Hoa Prophecy.

The grounding prophecy usually
has grain of truth in it. Six weeks
after Candlemas is st. Matthias day.
If the good saint comes and finds ice
he will break it, and if there is no ice
he will make it"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

The kleptomaniac,
who is driven in
spite of herself
to take what docs
not belong to her.
K | e p t omaniacs
show great skill
and employ many
clever ruses in
their theftS.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

7 he sitomaniac has
ungovernabIe i'm
pulses to eat.
Sitomania is a
disease, a mild
form of insanity,
and the sufferer
feels impelIed to
eat at al. times
and hours, no
matter whether
he is hrngry or
not.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

7 he monomaniac is
insane on one
subject only, gen.
orally the inven-
ton of a perpet-
uaI motion ma
chine, or some
other contrivance
which d e fl e S
every known law
Of echanics. On
every other sub
ject he is perfect
ly rational.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

The Parson during a lecture to
Tommy on the evils of smohing)-
How do you spell "injurious?"
Tommy don't spell it at ALL
The Parson-What did you 90 to-
school for?
Tommy-Because l had to.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

he megaIomanlac
is the founder Of
queer religions
and sects. He in
vents new doc
trines and be-
liefs and strives
to win converts
to his way of
thinking, general
ly with a small
degree of sue
cess.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

The erotomaniac
who loves two
young women,
often 81 s t c r s,
with equal love
at the same time.
He can't bear to
marry e i h c r,
knowing that the
other adored one
may become the
wife of some 9TH
err man.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19

T he dipsomaniac
suffers from a dis
ease which makes
him drink when
ever an attack
comes on. He
should not be
COMPOUNDED with
the h a b itu a !
drunkard.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-03-19
TEN YEARS OF 8AcKAcHE.
Thousands of Women Suffer in the
Same Way.

Mrs. Thomas Dunn. 1853 Vine ST., Co.
lumbus, Ohio, says: For more than