davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
LORD sACKyILLE-wEsr.

During the second Cleveland cam
paign Tor the presidency Lord Sack
ville-West caused one of the political
sensations of the hour. He was the
British minister at Washington. The
post had not then been raised to an
Enthusiastically. The tariff issue was
the leading one before the country
Somebody from California wrote to the
minister claiming that he was a ma
tive of Great Britain who had been
naturalized in this country. and asking
which one of the two parties he should
vote for in order best to promote
British interests With characteristic
British innocence, Lord Sackville-West
replied very seriously that he thought
it would be most for the advantage of
Great Britain, if the Democratic party
should win, since the reduction in tar
if which it promised would extend the
market for British products. OF course,
the letter found its way at once into
Republican newspapers. and the wrath
of the Democrats was poured out upon
the head of poor Lord Sackville- West.
President Cleveland requested his re-
call, and his diplomatic career ended
from that hour.
Recent cable dispatches brought the
news of his death the other day at the
age of 81. He was rich land owner
and in many respects a typical British
squire.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

[From the Chicago News.1
The bare idea of getting bald is dis
tasteful to any man.
Women would rather have cold feet
than large ones.
Bachelor girls are spinsters who are
not willing to admit 1t.
Between two CRAFTS a politician is
apt to make a play for both.
A safe racetrack bet is one you didn't
get there in time to make.
It's a pity an actress can't elevate
the stage as easily as she can her eye
brows.
Some men get married for the pur-
pose of having some one to drive them
to drink.
Nothing dulls the point of goke like
having to listen to it when you were
going to tell 1t.
When the average man gives a dollar
to some charity he manages to get
caught in the act.
Learn to hide your aches and pains
under a smile. The world has many
troubles of its own.
If you really want to do some good
as a reformer, figure out how much
time you waste every day. then get
busy.
A meeting of creditors is seldom for
the purpose of expressing confidence in
the man who can't pay ten cents on
the dollar.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe-]


Better laugh at the peoples jokes;
they'll hate yo if you don't.
People learn everything else, but
they never learn to sneeze gracefully.
If anything is free, that is one in
dication people will find a good deal OF
fault with it.
No one who owes any debts has a
right to be in bed after 6 o'clock in
the morning.
says: IT want to look" at such and
such a thing. She never says she
wants to buy.
Every woman is sorry for some other
woman on account of something her
husband told her about the other wo-
mans husband.
How everyone envies Father Time:
To be married to a woman like Moth
er Earth who dresses up so nicely
every season without costing him any
thing.
After a man passes forty. he begins
to form the gtaying-at-hone habit It
is tust about the time that the babies
are grown, and his wife begins to fall
into the go-out-more habit.
Why is it that the moment people
step inside a church door they assum =
look on their faces suggestive of a
funeral? You will find more cheerful
faces everywhere than in a church.
though If there is as much happiness
in religion as is claimed, it is the
place where people should look happy,
instead of as II remembering their
trials and sorrows.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
.HYHAWKER LOTS

'It seems to me-" said Bill Sincaller
to his new hired man, that you think
you have accepted a position with me,
whereas you have been given a job.
Get busy"-Vinland Vine.
Allen county is making a bid for the
A. H. T. A. annual meeting next year.
AS the A. H. T. A. is an organization
to prevent crime, Allen county sure
ought to gallop up. rope and hogtie
the next convention, says the Wichita
Eagle. --r ~ =s---
A little boy at Coats, according to the
Courant, was kneeling at his evening
devotions longer than usual and his
mother upon inquiry was answered.:
Pm goin' on my vacation, and I'm
sayin' my prayers three weeks in ad-
vance"
Timely warning from the Pratt
Union: "A young married couple on
the east side seem to have dark clouds
lowering over their lives. 1t is best to
brace up, cut out all foolishness. have
a clear understanding and forget the
intended separation"
An Atchison young man is wearing
new fall suit of the extreme style.
The coat is so long that it almost
reaches his knees. The young man
walked up the street past a crowd of
brakemen. THE suit is all right" said
a brakeman, but the trouble is he is
too short for it,
A Salina paper tells of a boy who
was severely bitten by a canine and
the Emporia Gazette adds: His father
mounted an equine and went for the
DOCTOR who recommended poultice of
milk from the family bovine. 1t is said
that slice of fat from a porcine is a
good thing for such a wound"
Kansas has great fame as wheat
state. Many people think that it is this
fzoA 4H,a hox TTsf he
value of Kansas corn grown in the
past twenty years is 800, 900 more
than that Of all the wheat crops grown
by Kansas since her beginning, re-
marks the Kansas City Journal.
An Atchison young man, without
whose help no successful wedding can
be pulled off, got still another invita-
ton to be best man the other day.
ASKED to be best man AGAIN." said
his mother sweetly and with pride.
Nope" he said, Just been asked to
exchange a cut glass bowl for a scarf
pin"
With rural telephones and mail
routes, with touring cars, monographs,
gasoline pumps, steam plows, fried
chicken, big bank deposits, fat water
melons and all the other luxuries. the
Kansas farmer cannot be blamed for a
lack of interest in the presidents plan
to make agriculture more popular
Sedgwick Paragraph.
A Hiawatha man started out to make
q collection of old coins years ago, but
got married this spring. In April he
got a Columbian half dollar and when
he went to put it in his old shaving
mug where he kept his other coins he
found them all gone. His wife told him
yesterday she had bought a new hat
with the junk and asked him to forgive
her.
Farmers living about Weaver have
planned levee to protect their prop
erty from floods in the Kaw river,
which will cost $4,000. If they can get
the levee built at once and not be
hindered by some one who wants to
find legal flaws in the method of going
about the work, they will be making a
record in Kansas, is Lew Smokers
comment in the wichita Eagle
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

IF'rom the Philadelphia Record.1
"All aboard" is an appropriate cry
for a lumber vessel.
A church has a nave. but sometimes
it is spelled with X.
It's the fellow who Is loose in his
morals that gets tight.
People who are stilted are not al
ways above suspicion.
If ignorance is bliss this ought to
be very happy world.
The hungry German who likes sau-
sages is always prepared for the wurst.
Some people feel so high and mighty
that they are always up in the air
about it.
If woman is delusion, it should
also be remembered that most men hug
a delusion.
Fools are generally lcng-lived The
one who rocks the boat always lives to
tell the tale, worse luck.
Those who are proudest of their an
ceStors generally have the least cai1se
to be proud Of themselves.
81 never have any luck with flow
ers," complained the woman. "Weu.
If we can only have rain enough Won
may be sure of raising umbrellas" said
the parlor idiot.
do you believe that two heads are
better than one?" asked the seeker az
ter crudite knowledge. Sure" REPLIES
the mere man. I'm a Commission mar
chant and my principal business /.
done In cabbage"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
the

stood back against the hedge. .Tne
two looked at each other.
We've to the CENTER" Lettice
cried happily. and now we're far
Their from getting out than ever" she
regarded the bench with approving
eyes. 1T looks so comfortable" she
said.
They were still discovering new
charms in their circular paradise when
an elderly man with STOPPING shoulders
came into view.
II beg your pardon" he said, adj
dressing the pair on the bench. but
will you tell me how to ger out of this
confounded trap?"
The lovers looked at him and then
at each other.
I'VE haven't the least idea" Lettice
acknowledged in tones of extreme
cheerfulness.
The fact is" Jack confessed
shamelessly, we're not in any hurry
to get OUT
Il see. and I beg your pardon" said
the elderly man. And he obligingly
vanished. Again they were alone with
their happiness, and the mystery OF
the maze kept guard.-(Copyright
1908. by Associated Literary Press)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
ONE. MoLLYCoDDIiE.

He uses ball and bat
And whites a Quieter hour away
By teasing dog and cat.
But when the shadows come again.
The rougher pastime cloy
He's willing to be called, right then.
A moHycoddle boy.
He climbs the rainspout, slides downstairs,
And oftentimes, alasi
The path of this young shining Heir
Is strewn with broken glass;
But when he seeks his mothers arms
Wherein with night. comes joy,
FORGOT Is lust for new alarms
Our moliycoddle boy
All. somewhere in the years to come.
When one day, filled with strife,
Has lett him weary. bruised and numb,
VIII he bark to that life.
Wnen there was one to clear the score,
10 bring peace. sans alloy;
VIII he not long to be- once more,
A mollycoddle boy?
Denver Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
A KANSAS DIPLOMAT.

The semi-official announcement is
made that the Emporia Gazette is re-
| SponSible for the recall by the Chi
| nese government of the minister to the
United States, Mr. WI Ting Fang. We
do not understand that William Allen
White did this, for William has been
too busy doing other things and other
folks to put in any time on Mr.. WI.
The diplomat who inserted the fire.
cracker under the coat tail of WI, II
he wears a coat was that master OF
oriental politics, Mr.. Walter Mason.
There is some doubt as to whether this
was done Intentionally or politically.
but it probably was. There has long
been feeling between WI and Walter,
so that the strained relations were APP
parent whether viewed from the banks
of the Yangtze Kiang or the Neosho.
The offense of the Chinese ambas-
sador consisted in making speeches
and advocating an American Chinese
alliance. The Kansas editor-poet is
against such an alliance. combin
alton as suggested looks yellow to him.
1t might affect the price of laundry
and take from the, hands of thou
sands of American, women the oppor-
tunity of supporting, their husbands
in the style to which they are accus-
toned. The Chinese have a law pro-
viding that a poet must pay tax on
his production and thus gain po-
etic license. Mason is opposed to any
license charges on poets. If the Chi
nese idea should be worked into an
international treaty, a poet would have
to wear numbered tag or he might
be shot any time during July or Au-
gust These Chinese ideas are some
times called progressive but to the
mind of the first-page editor of the
Gazette they seemed to be relics of
barbarism such as are always con-
demned by Republican conventions.
No one can blame Mr.. Mason for
acting promptly, although just what
pull he has with the empress dowa-
ger is not understood outside of En-
poria- It is sufficient to know that
WI Ting Fang viii take his cue, go
to the rear of the stage and leave for
Pekin as soon as the arrangements for
transportation can be made.-Hutch-
inSon News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10

The states attorney general is pre-
pairing to bring suits against various
county clerks who have retained the
money collected by them in fees for the
issuance of hunters licenses. The law
imposing these licenses contemplated
that this money should support the
state hsh and game warden's depart
ment. This law might properly be
amended so that a portion of these
fees could be kept by the counties for
the support OF the county clerks Sfice
as the work In issuing these licenses
is not inconsiderable. In fact 1t about
takes the entire attention Of one man
In the clerks Offices in the larger
counties during the season Of the year
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10

Great-that's the only word that can
be properly used to describe the state
wide fair in it's entirety and also in
each Of its particulars. Great is the
live stock exhibit. Great is the indus
trial show. Great is the exhibition of
the products of the soil. Great are the
races and great are each and everyone
ofthe entertainments provided. So three
lusty cheers for the great state wide
fair and for the men who have labored
to make it the success that 1t is. As
suredly 1t is the forerunner of a real
state fair to be established in Topeka.
And that is what Kansas. queen as she
is of the agricultural states of the
union, has so sorely needed for many
years.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Cynicism and the simple life go hand
in hand together.
\
Because a minister marries many
women that does not necessarily mean
that he is a bigamist.
< 4
Probably Father Time looks so bad
for the reason that so many people try
to kill him.
Private detectives are great at dis
covering whether or not their clients
have money.
A plain roast is the most appro-
pirate dish that one can serve IN CIV
ing a dinner to a critic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10

Kansas can always be depended upon
for bringing something new to the
front. Jack the Hugger." lack the
Kisser'' and a variety of other Jacks"
of this sort have been known to most
communities from time to time. But
Kansas now brings to the fore and or
iginal Jack OF this sort. He is Jack
the Mixer" and is operating on cows in
the vicinity of Winfield.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10

There's one man at the state wide
fair who probably has a monopoly in
his business or one of its features. At
any rate there will not be many per-
sons who will attempt to wrest these
particular laurels from him. He's the
bee man and the job that he has
the monopoly on is putting a handful of
real live bees inside the bosom Of his
49, vA
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
IFrom the New York Press.l

Relatives can make a married couple
get along finely by not having any.
A woman gets to understand lot of
things by not having any education on
them.
You could never shake woman's be-
lief that what a burglar would really
Ike to get would be the baby.
There's nothing that makes a man
weld to your influence so easily as to
tell him what a strong will he has.
There is no mother In the country
who would be the least bit surprised to
wake up any morning and find her son
president Of the United States.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10

Mr.. Hitchcock. chairman Of the Re
publican national committee, says that
he Is being besieged with requests to
have President Roosevelt take a more
active part in the campaign and make
some speeches. As most people are
familiar with the proclivities of Mr..
Roosevelt to do the unusual it would
not surprise them in the least If he
should make a speech OF two towards
the close of the campaign in the event
that things begin to look dubious for
Republican success.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10

DR.. William Osler. who attracted
world wide attention by advocating the
chloroforning of aged persons has been
made lord rector of Edinburg UNIVERSE
ty, Scotland. He Is regius professor OF
medicine at Oxford university to which
post he went from the Johns Hopkins
university at Baltimore. Nd, where he
still holds the title OF honorary pro-
fessor OF medicine. This is doing pref
ty well for a self-confessed has been"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
FRON OTHER PENS
FoRECAsTING POLITICAL RESULT

FORECASTING POLITICAL RESULT
Organized attempts to forecast the
results of the national election this
year began in both parties as soon as
the candidates were nominated. In
New York and several other states
preliminary prophetic sbased on them
have already begun to appear Tne
methodical effort to find out the results
in advance may extend until reports
have been made covering every ward
and county in which charges are ex-
pected. Then, instead of being accept
ed as authentic prophecies, or even as
reliable forecasts, all conclusions thus
reached become claims" as soon as
they are published. With all his report
footed to last totals, the most expert
political prophet remains uncertain or
everything except the always present
prospect that the unexpected VIII hap
pen.
With almost everyone who votes at
tempting some method of forecasting
results, the experts have little read ad-
vantage except as they use intelligent
~ the method employed in forecasting
the weather. The tabulated vote OF
elections for four years in detail with
summaries below for 20 years, state by
state. may give something more than
the same approach to certainty given
by tables of rainy and sunshiny days
for the same period When reports of
indications over the whole area effected
are brought to bear on these, the pro-
phet who practices strict methods is
likely to reach as near certainty as
method can bring him.-St. Louis Re
public.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10

Topeka is exceedingly proud to enter
tain the great number of visitors who
have come here to attend the state
wide fair. And it may not be unbe-
coming to state that the city is just
bubbling over with all kinds of enter
tanning attractions for them after their
day at the fair is over. From the looks
on their faces they are having a good
time and they can rest assured that
everything will be done to make the
memories of their visit most pleasant
ones
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10

Mr.. Hartman has Just told the peo-
pie of California in emphatic words
that their interests and those of the
railroads are Identical and that all of
them should pull together. This is
manifestly true of the relations be-
tween the railroads and the people all
over the country and the sooner that
both sides realize it the better it will
be for all concerned
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
HUNOR OF THE DAY

John!" exclaimed mis- wife, excited
". m sure there are burglars down.
stairs" Sorry DEAR" replied John,
nalf awake, but I'm too sleepy to- get
dressed and receive company tonight"
Free Press.
First Leap Year Girl-rd propose IL
l could find a man I thought l could
not live without. Second Leap Year
Glri-Huh! I'd be satisfied with a
man l thought could live with.-Chi-
After getting along amicably for
several weeks, Jack and Belle have
quarreled again. Whats it about
this timer" The young idiots got to
discussing who was really to blame, the
time before. Boston Transcript.
Lawyer-How is it that you have
waited three years before suing Muller
Tor calling you a rhinoceros? Country
man-Because 1 never saw one of the
beasts til yesterday at the zoo.-Flie-
genoe Blaetter.
We'll" said the customer, as he
paid the barber and moved toward the
door, II feel like congratulating my
self on getting safely out of a mighty
pad scrape." By placing himself
promptly on the outside of the barber
shop he avoided getting himself into
a mighty bad scrap.-Chicago Tribune.
Adam and Eve had just tasted of
the tree of knowledge. TITS no fun"
they mourned, I'VE have no parents
whose grammar we can correct" Here
in they felt they had missed tie chief
joy.-New York Sun.
'iAt last" he sighed, "we're alone.
I've been hoping for this chance" 80
n 81 g. III A IL
you have guessed, then, that 1 want
ed to tell you I love your" Eyes; and
want to say No and get it over
with. London Opinion.
Filling Her Place-The Citrate
Good gracious, Giles! whatever makes
you keep such a spiteful old cat as
that? Giles--WelI, sir, you see, it's
like this-I've felt a bit lonely since
my old woman diedi--London Opin-
ion. .....
Speaking of political dark horses
suppose we might properly call the
reformer the political mule " Think
that appropriate, do you ?" "Of course;
the reformer is forever kicking" Yes,
but when a mule starts kicking he us
ually accomplishes something
Catholic Standard.
He Was Fast Man.-Nervous
Traveller (to seat companion)-
fast should you say you were travel
ing? Companion (who has been flirting
with the girl across the way)-About
mile a minute.-Life.
A Fair Warning-He elderly and
rich)-Don't you think, Miss Flighty,
that you can learn to love me? She
It's going to cost you a good deal for
my education, sir.-Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10

Startling reports come from New
York to the effect that among the fall
fashions for men are sheath, or d.
rectOire trousers. The seams on the
outside of the legs will stop at the
knee and are laced from that point
down. Perish the thought. Most men
are Of the spindle shank variety and
1t is best that their underpinnings
should not be exposed to public view.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10
Edison on Sky Sailing.

Edison ON Sky Sailing.
Mr.. Edison showed great interest in
the various attempts being made In
different parts of the world to travel
in the air. ut is coming; some one Is
liable to solve the problem any day."
he said.
Don't you think, Mr.. Edison, that
the problem is already solved, and that
neering talent and money! he was
asked.
mo, don't think that 1t isn't
solved yet 1 don't think inventors
have been on the right track. The
great difficulty. of course. is the tre-
mendous power required IN the en-
CINE, which at the same time must be
so very light. There are lots or men
working night and day on that prob
lem, and some one will do the trick.
Liable to run across the solution any
day now" he added.
He told Mr.. Farman he had made
extensive experiments fifteen years ago
in connection with fiving machines,
but had been compelled to give his
attention to other things that had
since engrossed him.
Speaking of the criticism so often
made of the aeroplane, that when the
engines stopped it was in danger OF
falling to the ground, Mr.. Edison
made rough sketch showing a slight
modification of an old device of his, in
which a parachute which remained
closed during the operation of the
motor would instantly open should the
motor stop. This was accomplished
through utilization of centrifugal,
force.
Mr.. Farman received the sketch as
a gift. Mr.. Edison first placing on It his
autograph.
How about the future of the dirigf-
Bile balloon, Mr.. Edison?"
''It has no future, speaking COM
mercially. 1t has no great future any
way you take it," was his prompt re-
ply. sit may be utilized IN some
measure in war, but the heavier-than-
air machine that can go straight
against the wind-ah! that is the thing
that must come
'You refer to the areoplane ?" some
body suggested.
mo" he said. ''I'n tell you what I
think about this sky-sailing business.
AS have said, it's sure to come. They
haven't got it yet, but they Will. But
when the question is solved you win
find that the machine that goes
straight up in the air-screws itself
vertically into the air-has answered
the riddle"
1.-THE helicopter?" he was asked.
Right" he answered.
This, by the way, invofves the very
principle fancifully ascribed to the
marvellous flying machine of "Robur
the Conqueror" by Jules Verne a gen.
tration ago.-New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-10

Four thousand regulars are march
ing on Topeka There's no reason for
alarm in this. The soldiers are merely
playing at war