davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27
WIT HUN1WR
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SAR CASH

- Assf-<~J - ~ - -,
How is your house heated?' by
unpaid coal bills. Life.
Mr.. Jawback-That boy gets his
brains from me, Mrs. Jawback-Some-
body got. 'em from you, if you ever
had any-that's cincn.-Cleveland
Leader.
Mrs. ENTHUSIASTICALLY, I'm sorry
we didn't accumulate more souvenirs
of our European trip. Mr.. Newrocks-
Oh, we can get all we want in New
Yorktown and Country.
Doctor" said the convalescent,
smiling weakly, "you may send in
your bill any day, now" Tut, tut"
replied the M. D., silencing his patient,
with a wave of his hand. You're not
strong enough yet."-Judge.
did prohibition work in your
town." ITO a certain extent" an
swered the irresponsible character.
What do you mean?" Them as got
drinks was prohibited from sayin'
anything about it"-Washingto Star.
You admire the weather out here?"
INTERCEPTED the old settler. II ad-
mire it's nerve" whispered the hen
pecked man with a quick glance over
his shoulder. ut nerve?" Eyes, it dis
agreed with my wife" Chicago Daily
News.
"Well, little one," said the kind
ly old man, what are you going to
be when you grow to be MANI" 81
guess I'll be a freak" replied the
bright child. "a freak? Why?"
"'Cause I'm a little girl."-Philadel-
phia Press.
when l started in business" said
Mr.. Dustin Stax, refiectivcly, 81 re-
solved never to tell an untruth." "And
you kept your word?" 'Yes. Whenever
had any delicate business Of that
sort on hand l hired an expert
Washington Star.
Borem-I think hear your fathers
step on the stairs, so perhaps / had
better bid you good night. Miss Hits
(yawning)-Oh, it can't be father;
he's a late sleeper. Perhaps it's the
hired girl coming down to prepare
breakfast. Chicago Daily News.
Reporter-Senator, l have heard
that you got your start in life by
selling newspapers. Senator Lotsmun
Not quite correct my boy. The fact
is-but this is confidential, you know
that l got my start by buying one
or two newspapers.-Chicago Tribune.
Golfer-An' what like a day had ye
here yesterday, MACPHERSON? Mac
Pherson-Oh, an awful day! 1t was
pourin'! Golfer-Weel, weel. an in
the toon we Just had local shower.
MacPherson-Aw, weel, I can assure
you it wasna local here whatever
Punch.
The Bishop-My dear, do wish you
wouldn't sign those Home Hints"
that you are sending to the papers.
His Wife-Why not? The Bishop
Well, 1 notice that in the title of your
What to do for burn" the printer
has left the or" out of the final word.
Puck.
"Goodby, Melindy," said Uncle HI
ram, about to start on journey to
New York City. "Goodby, Hiram" re-
turned Aunt Melindy. AN don't you
fergit ter bring me back receip' fer
maxim that Brooklyn Bridge jam
then, CITY people are goin' so crazy
over."-Judge. i
There was a time" said young
Rakeleigh, who had gone through
fortune, when people used to say
had more money than brains, but
they can't say it now" why not?"
asked Pepprey. Because I'm down to
my last dollar now" well, but you've
got the dollar."-Philadelphia Press.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27
MAKING the Pawnshops Useful.

Il didn't pawn the things because
! needed the money" said the well
dressed woman. Il put them there
for safe keeping. For several years
/ have been storing my furs in q
pawnshop during the Summer. Since
they were so well taken care of there
concluded to trust the pawnbroker
with my jewelry this season. Last
year the warehouse where had the
things stored was broken into and .
lost two rings and bracelet.
"A pawnshop is about the safest
place on earth to keep things in. Il
Is hard enough for people to get their
own stuff out sometimes, but it Is
almost impossible for anybody else
to get it. Also 1t Is cheaper than a
safety deposit vault. so for that com
binatiun of reasons have become a
pawnshop patron. "-Washingto Star.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27
Mosaic Law.

The criminal law of Moses was mild.
er than that Of England in the year
1886. II he punished some offenses
against religion with death, it was not
a death Of torture. and probably dur
ing the whole period of Jewish indie
rendence the sufferers were not as nu.
merous as in the single reign of Philip
~ of Spain.-Lex in Lew Magazine.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27
A Chesterfield.

Tell We what Lyman Sphinx is the
swellest teller and most perfect gen.
tleman in this town." triumphantly
remarked the landlord of the Petty
vile tavern. mo matter what time
o'night the fire-bell rings, he puts on
his collar and necktie, buttons every
button of his vest, from top to bot
tom, and makes sure he has a clean
handkerchief in this pocket before go
ing to the holocaust. Most generally
the frs is out before he gets there,
but Lyman says that man ort to be
a gentleman under all circumstances,
no matter how much trouble it is."-
Puck.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27
TYRANT's TOMB NOW A STABLE.
A Curious Memorial Of the Ruin So
Iano Lopez Brought on Paraguay.

Iano Lopez Brought on Paraguay.
A curious memorial of the tyrant
Solano Lopez, who wasted and de-
populated Paraguay between 1862 and
1870, stands In the city of Asuncion,
the capital of the republic. 1t is the
large and imposing mauscleum that
he built for the ultimate housing of
his body.
But 1t was never used for that pur.
pose. When Lopez was overtaken
and killed as he was fleeing his ene-
mics did not care to give him a de.
cent burial.
DR.. Vallentin, the German geogra.
pher, who has just written book on
Paraguay, says that it puzzled the
people to decide what to do with the
mausoleum. 1t was finally turned in
to a stable and is still serving that
humble but useful purpose.
Grass is growing upon the lofty
cupola and weeds protrude from every
crevice in the walls. 1t is a monu-
ment to the ruin Lopez brought upon
his country and himself.
Lopez has often been called the
Nero of the nineteenth century, but
some historians say that he was
worse than Nero. DR.. Baez, the his
torian of Paraguay, says that the ty-
ranny of Lopez was the most bar
barous that history records. The
only excuse ever made for him Is
that he was insane.
He was President of Paraguay and
intended to make himself king. He
provoked and waged a five years
war with the united countries of Bra
zil, Argentina and Uruguay. He
had a crown made in Paris to be
ready for the coronation just as soon
as he could declare himself king of
more than half of South America.
His idea was to build up a great king.
dom, not by developing its resources
but by founding military despotism.
He became a despot. wholly unre-
strained by law. All his countrymen
who opposed him were shot or i'm
prisoned. He had his own mother
and one of his sisters publicly fogged
in the street Another sister was
kept a prisoner in chains.
Every boy and man who could car
.ry gun was impressed into the
army, and as the end drew near he
compelled many hundreds of women
to fight in the ranks. The whole
country was in ruins when a bullet
ended his life. In 1851 Paraguay had
a population of over 100000. There
were only about 100000 human be-
ings in the country in 1872. The
land was nothing but waste.
1t had been completely stripped OF
cattle, horses, sheep and goats. not
a plantation was in cultivation, and
there was no money to buy seed, for
Lopez and the woman Lynch, whom
he had brought with him from Paris
the year before he became president.
had shipped all the remaining gold
and silver to England for a rainy
day.
Paraguay has recovered slowly
from this experience. She now has
a population of 100000, immigrants
are coming in growing numbers, and
agriculture and commerce are ad.
vancing every year.-New York Sun.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27
Venus CaIva.

The ancient Romans at one time
knew a Venus the Bald. The goddess
was worshipped by that name In a
particular temple after the invasion of
the Gauls-the reason assigned for
this strange fact in antiquity having
been that the brave women of Rome
cut off their hair to make bowstrings
for the city's defence.-London Chron.
icle.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27
A GOOD MAN.

Your dead husband wor q good
mon," declared the sympathetic Mrs
Casey to the bereaved widow.
He wor" exclaimed Mrs. Murphy
dashing the tears from her eyes. mo
two polacemia cud handle him.
Judge
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27
CHEERING HIM UP.

The Timid Passenger-"what would
happen should the gas escape?"
The Cheerful Aeronaut-"Oh. We
should suffocate; but our deaths would
not be unpleasant. have the balloon
filed with laughing gas. Brooklyn
Life.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27

The hundredth anniversary of the
birth OF DR.. L. d. de la Loza. an EN-.
inent physician and chemist in Next
co during the last century, was cele-
brated by Official decree with due
honors to his memory.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27

For II years Rev. Henry Martyr
Sherwood, vicar Of White Ladies in
Worcestershire, England, has Deen in
holy orders, and for all but one year
Of that time has been at his present
post
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27

We do not know how to live with
,ne another until we learn to live
with God.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27

There IL need for Garfield Tea when Tie
skin is sallow, the tongue coated, and whsa
headaches are frequent.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27
What Causes Headache.

from October to May, Colds are the moss
frequent cause Of Headache, Laxative
Bromo Quinine removes cause. Z W.
Grove on box CSC.
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27

arm, dragged MIN silently Out lOrcl-
bly, along, and noiselessly unfastened
the dining room door, just beyond the
low French window which formed the
scene of the villains operation, they
stood almost face to face with the
three burglars.
A tremendous execration broke
from Black Bills lips at this unex-
pected rencontre.
Jim Allen rushed forward, pushing
the slide over his dark lantern as he
did so.
Back, or you are both dead men!"
he exclaimed; and the click or trig-
ger sounded sharply and distinctly.
Back yourselves, scoundrels!"
echoed the voice of Delatour. clear
and undaunted. as he wrestled with
the foremost of the three.
Il say. Delatour, this is very fool
ish," faltered Markham. I'VE can't
attempt to resist these men. Give 'em
the money-what is the money to our
lives? They will come in"
lney must nave the sdtlSIactlOn
Of walking over my dead body first!"
muttered Delatour between his clench-
ed teeth, es he still struggled iercely
with his opponent; and a strange
thrill ran through Marguerite Lees
veins. as she heard the brave words,
SO brayely spoken.
A sudden fash through the pitchy
darkness-the report Of a revolver
and Jim Allen fell back. with the cry
of a baffied wild beast
"You said there were no firearms.
Bill. he muttered, with an oath. Pm
winged"
The second shot, following almost
instantaneously, filled the assailants
Tensas gazette. [volume] (St. Joseph, La.) 1886-current, 1908-03-27

drinking, out perhaps she reserves
that for some subsequent tirade.
In former days." says this social
chronicler, women went to the thea
tres with their husbands or broth.
ers or sons. Now women are seen
going to the theatre every day, eth.
er alone or with other women. Al.
parently they have nothing to do and
always have plenty of money. How
do their husbands like the new ar.
rangement, and how is the money pro-
vided for these things?"
That women should do things now
that they used not to do is no doubt
very shocking to the prim and con-
sentative soul of Lady Greville. but
after all, the indictment does not
seem very shocking one, and IL the
husbands of these ladies object to
the new arrangement they can be
Entrusted to say SO during those op-
portunities for domestic condolences
that are still left to us from the
good old days.
Going still further afield for evil
dences OF human degeneracy. we find
two letters in the London Daily Mail.
and we are tempted to ask, "Can such
things be-" One of the letters Is
from Monte Carlo and It suggests
that the words "Politeness and Civil.
ity Cost Nothing should be affixed
to all railway cars and omnibusss.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13
INDIAN SCHOOL BURNED.
DeSmet Institution Destroyed With
a Loss of S35, 900.


The two main buildings at the In
dian school at DeSmet, Idaho, on the
Coeur d'Alene reservation, were to-
tally destroyed early Wednesday
morning, says the Spokane Chrolcle.
The students were just about to sit
down to breakfast when the alarm
was given and the dormitory occu-
pied by the Indian girls was found to
be in flames in the third story. None
of the girls were able to save any
thing. The flames communicated to
the dormitory occupied by the white
girls. and this was also burned to the
ground, but the inmates succeeded in
saving most of their personal proper
ty, the furniture and two pianos.
No one was injured and all were In
the dining room when the fire start
ed. Il is supposed the fire was caus-
ed by the falling of stoveplpe.
r'he loss is estimated at $35,000
and is partially covered by insur-
ance.
The only building left is the laun-
dry, and. the fighters had hard work
in keeping the flames from that struc-
ture.
The school was conducted by Jesuit
sisters.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13
PLAY ]. OF 0. TEAM
FINE BASKETBALL GAME
TOMORROW NIGHT
Pendleton Boys viii Make Effort to
Defeat Fast University Players and
Lovers Of Athletic Events Look
Forward to Some Genuine Sport
Murphy VIII Officiate as Referee
Folsom to Umpire Game-Skating
Party to Follow Game.

When the local high school basket
ball team goes up against the Uni
versity Of oregon quintet tomorrow
night the people of Pendleton will
have an opportunity to see the best
exhibition Of the kind that has yet
been produced here this year. The
university boys are now upon a tour
of the inland empire and have just
finished games with the University OF
Idaho and the Washington state col
lege. Tonight they play against
Whitman.
Though the high school boys will
be outclassed by the university play
ers, the game will nevertheless be
close enough to make 1t a most in
teresting go and some high school en-
thusiasts even go so far as to predict
that the Pendleton team will win.
In the game tomorrow night Cooley
will play center and will have to play
against Lucely, the tall U. of o. CEN
ter. Penland and Johns will be the
forwards. while Turner and Arthur
Means will guard.
Murphy, the coach of the U. Of O..
team, will officiate during the game,
while Percy Folsom will umpire.
The game will be called promptly at
s o'clock
Following the game tomorrow
evening a skating party will be given
at the Ireland rink in honor of the
visiting players.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13

across the plains to Oregon in 1858,
settling with her family In VILLAIN
ette valley. In 1871 she moved to
Umatilla county, settling near Echo,
and has made this city and county
her home for the past 81 years.
In 1879 she was converted to the
NJ. f. church and was the last re-
naming member of the charter
membership of the First NJ. E.
church of this city, every other char
ter member of that pioneer organiza-
tion having preceded her to the other
side.
She was a sturdy pioneer woman
of excellent qualities and reared a
family of six children, three sons and
three daughters, having been married
twice.
The children are as follows: Ed
ward Coffman of this city, and Will
liam and Elmer Reeves: Mrs. William
Coffman of this city. Mrs. Perrin of
Mckay creek and Mrs. william Bea-
gle of Alberta.
The funeral will be held tomorrow
afternoon at o'clock at the NJ. E.
church. Rev. w. T. custer TO conduct
the services. The choir will sing a
number of her old favorite hymns as
a special musical program at the fu,
neral service. Interfnent will take
place in Olney cemetery.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13
sWINDLER A FUGITIVE.
Man Who Beat Chinese of walla
Walla, Disappears Before Trial.

Herman Heinsius, who fleeced
Walla walla Chinese out OF about
$500 by collecting in advance for IL
quor orders, is again fugitive from
justice, after having been indicted
and embezzlement in Chicago. This
information was received in Walla
Walla today, says the Bulletin.
Heinsius was under indictment on
two counts for embezzlement and OBJ
tanning money under false pretenseS
in Chicago. Heinsius. after stub
born fight, secured his liberty on bail
and Immediately left Chicago.
The prisoner. who is also known
as Hellee. operated in a half dozen
cities of the northwest and is also
wanted on a number of counts in
New York. He was formerly a sales
man for the New York Distillery
company of New York. After he was
discharged by that company he re-
tained many blank whiskey certifi-
Gates which he has since sold. The
distillery company has refused to
honor the forged paper, In Walla
Walla a number of prominent Chi
nese firms were victimized.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13
PadereNski Liked Idaho.

Although Paderewski, the famous
pianist. did not leave his car yester-
day to look over "Boise the Beauti-
full" his officials and attendants
spent considerable time visiting
places of interest and making inquir-
les about conditions in this section,
says the Boise Capital News. Sew
eral of them gathered up considera-
BILE literature descriptive of Idaho,
and the opportunities offered here and
stated they would return here when
the season closed and try to secure
some land under the various irriga-
ton projects. They stated they were
greatly impressed with the climate, 1t
being warmer here Sunday than 1t
was in Los Angeles, according to a
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13
LEWISTON SELLS BONDS.
Il. ii. Rollins and Sons Purchase
$4,000 Water Bonds.

ROsiVVV NotNA AOANhos
This city last night sold to e. H.
Rollins & Sons of Denver, the water
works bond issue amounting to $751;
800, says the Lewiston Tribune. The
sale was the result of negotiations
that have been in progress since Fri
day with Mr. Scott, representative OF
the bond buyers. The negotiations
were opened upon basis of five per
cent and after conference on Sat-
urday. Mr.. Scott telegraphed to his
company for authority to make addi-
tional concessions to the authority
originally ganted him..
Last evening he received tele
gram from his company and a fur
ther conference with the council then
followed, resulting in the sale.
The proposal accepted is as fol-
lows: e. H. Rollins & Sons pay $751;
800 for the issue. the bonds to be
dated December /, 1907 and the rate
of interest to be five per cent. The
city pays $500 for the blank bonds.
The sum of $25,0OO is to be paid on
March l and the sum Of $4,000 on
or before April 1. The bonds will
run 20 years, the city having the op-
ton to redeem at the end OF 10 years.
The money will be delivered as de-
sired, the bond buyers paying 5 per
cent on all the fund until 1t is used.
The accumulated interest on the
bonds by dating back to December 1,
with the amount paid for the blank
bonds, make a total of about $11OO,
which reduces the actual bid for the
bonds about two below par. The sale
of the bonds by the city was made
on practically the same basis as the
sales recently made to Rollins & Sons
by the cities of Walla Walla and PEN
dleton.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13
NOT HEDGERS TEETH.
Plate Made for Smaller Mouth Than
Spokane Man's-Prisonez-s May BE
Liberated.


Spokane Man's-PrisOners May Be
Liberated.
1t has been found that the gold
teeth which led to the arrest Of two
men here several days ago. were not
the ones that were stolen from, the
mouth Of George Hedger of Spokane,
few weeks ago. The teeth were
sent to Sopkane for Identification, but
when tried by Hedger were found to
be trifle smaller than those he lost.
The number of teeth contained in
the piece found here is identical with
those lost by Hedger and the coinci-
dence is regarded as remarkable. The
piece consisted of two crowns with
three dummies between and 1t was
for use in the same location as those
lost by Hedger.
Up to this afternoon the two men
under arrest here had not been lib
Grated, but they will be turned loose
shortly unless further evidence can
be found against them
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13

Jack O'Brien, promoter Of the pro-
posed baseball league for Pendleton,
Walla Walla, La Grande and Baker
City, has been here today and has an
nounced that on next Wednesday,
February 1s, meeting will be held
here 10 form the league.
According to O'Brien, Baker City
and La Grande have both arranged
already to enter the league and he
has hopes that Pendleton and Walla
Walla will do likewise. The league,
II formed. will come under class d, in
the national association for the pro-
lection of baseball. The salary limit
Will be $3.50 per month or total of
$4,000 for the season of four months.
That the four town league, with
the above salary list, is the right So
luton Of the baseball problem for the
four towns Is declared by Mr..
o'Brien. who is an old league man
himself.
Whether or not Pendleton will en-
ter the proposed league is not yet
settled. Among some of the local fans
the idea is not regarded with the
same favor that 1t is by o'Brien. In
the opinion OF L. G. Frazier. last
years Pendleton manager, a league
team has always been found an ex-
pensive luxury and he doubts If it
can be made to go during the coming
summer especially in view of the fact
that the people are now Of an eco
nomical turn.
During the past three years PEN
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13
MRS.COFFMANDEAD.
WELL KNOWN PIONEER
WOMAN is NO MORE
Mrs. Diana COffman, Last Remaining
Charter Member of PendletOn M.
f. Church and Umatilla County
Pioneer, Died from Stroke Of Pa
ralysis Early This Morning-Moth-
er of Six Children, All of Whom are
Living.

At the ripe old age of 70 years,
blessed with a large circle of friends
and crowned with rich Christian ex-
periences, Mrs. Diana Coffman, the
well known pioneer woman Of PEN
dleton, died at her home at 221 Stone
wall Jackson street at o'clock this
morning, after brief illness with a
stroke of paralysis, with which she
was attacked a few days ago.
Mrs. Coffman was born in YER
mont on October 26, 1886. and came
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13

dleton and Walla Walla have both
had independent teams and while the
class of ball playing has not been of
the league variety, the expense has
been less in proportion.
Just what Walla Walla will do re-
garding the league is not known but
il is prophesied by some local fans
that the Garden City will also prefer
to run on the old basis.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13
Returned From Seattle.

Bert Campbell, who has been in
Seattle for the past several weeks,
has returned to his home in this city
and will remain here for a time. He
was accompanied home by his grand
mother, Mrs. A. H. Smith, who will
visit here for several weeks, after
which she will go to Dear Park,
Wash. to visit daughter, Mrs. Ger
aid Tuttle. While in the city Mrs.
Smith will be the guest Of her daugh-
ters, Mrs. Rose Campbell, Mrs. Joe H.
Parkes and Mrs. Dean Tatom
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-02-13
Notice to Eastern Stars.

special meeting of Bushee chap
ter No. 10. Order of the Eastern Star,
is called for s o'clock this even ng
for the purpose of making arrange
ments for the funeral Of Sister d.
ana Coffman, which will be held to-
morrow afternoon at 2 o'clock. All
members are requested to be present
By order Of Worthy Matron Ida
Bickers.