The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-10-10
MATTER OF wspD,No.sKrs.
Humorous Side Of Marriage as Seen

at the Parsonage.
The bridegrooms do drop the ring In
ecstatic moments--a fine time did
have poking one from under book
case once while the bridegroom and hts
best man leered sheepishly at my
crimson countenance; do forget tc
clasp hands and often step on the
bridal train at that crucial second
when the turn is alsleward One un
happy creature pulled all my face
askew for one miserable second BY
answering, eYes, sir, thank you!p Il
the query "Do you take this we
man?' A later bridegroom added q
private performance in my owl
house, And mighty glad to get 'er
yer bet!" -it -
The stranger in a strange town and
a strange ceremony furnish the
comedy. The clergyman soon learns
the faltering steps on his porch. the
tumble at his bell. the nervously
twisted hat, the shy pretense at some
other and different business; soon
turns confidently to the nearest street
car post TO discover the half hid fiut-
ter Of bridal skirts. Still such wisdom
takes time, and madame during the
first year of our own welded life
turned three promising Ave dollar
couples from our door. Then came
her eye opening. et
] was out OF town. and when Hattie
Parsons, dcmure, beauless, domes-
ticated variety OF damsel, appeared az
) o'clock in the company of young
man and asked for me. madame as
sured her that the minister's wife "al-
ways does Just as welll'' conviction
which Hattie failed to share and even
AT 6. despite some added vehemence,
desperately denied At Z burst
through the front door, glanced into
the parlor. bcheld new brown silk
never yet seen at church, gloves ana
Vat TO match seated close TO a youth
v,ry black as to coat. white as to tie
AMI radiant as to patent leather
why cried | into madame's as
tonished ear. 81 didn't know Hattie
PARSONS was getting married or ever
thought OF IT,"
How did You know?" she gasped.
Since that day every youthful book
agent with the slightest trepidation oI
manner is bidden: Come back at 2
o'clock. do! The minister will surely
be in" Some conversations are un-
comfortably thorough.
As TO these out of towners the city
OF my abiding is fun Of them. Sit
uatcd at the corner of two other states
II proves Gretna Green for all the
loyesick ones. They run 10 II away
from angered parents, suspicious Off
spring. conventionafities of church
weddings--the glory and the splendoi
and the dear delight is they run Ia
us. II adds materially to our meagre
incomes.
The fees are source of constant
palpitations. sometimes Of Language,
sometimes of chagrin. for the minister
finds in them all the unexpeeteduess
and something OF the excitement of a
gamblers days. One pastoral brother
advised me to keep in stock two var'e-
ties Of certificates and discriminate. I
did. | handed over the 81 to SO cent
couple and bestowed paternally the
12Ia cent kind on a youth who grae-
iously presented me in return a $40
bill. don't discriminate any more
But the fees! have been paid 80
cents, a quarter, nothing but promise
to "kum round Saturday when the pay
enyelops comes in''-which Is appar-
entity never did-and from a dollar up,
yet not so far up az to be unendurable.
But the strangest case arrived from q
told the truth, but not all the truth
confessed 20 be thirty summers. She
tfIlold the truth. but not all the truth,
while his assertion of twenty-one was
palpably an exaggeration. though
there could be no question as to his
uncouth beauty.
After the ceremony he inquired,
"Wal, mister, what's tn damage"
Il hope" cried, politely. mo dam
age has been done; but II you refer TO
the expected fee. that's as you deem
the service WORTH
wal" asked he, will dollar and
half abaout kiver't?"
IF that suits you 1t suits me-" | re-
sponded.
Say, Jane. didn't fetch no cash
along; yer pay i'm"
Jane thought it worth 81.