davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1908-07-02

1t might be we'll to say that the
graduates" pass satisfactory ex-
animation in the Eighth Grade Of
their school work aud their diplo.
mas pass them into any high
school in the State without further
examination. The diplomas are
signed by the State Superintendent
the county School Commissioner
aud the school officers of the dis.
trict from whence the pupil comes.
The following received diplo.
mas:
Hickory Grove-Ruth Harmon,
Mable Barnes, FlOssie Parker, Elsie
Brown.
Maple Grove-Sarah O'Brien.
Duly School-Beatrix McQuer-
rs, Frances Powell, EuIa Brenton,
Clarence Morrall.
Sims SchOoi-Lizzie Brown +,
Leila Tinsley. Minnie Maxwell,
Fisher School Roswell Hen.
dersOn, Luther Fisher, Gray Han.
ma, Chal Henderson.
New Michigan School-Ernest
Lamme, Helen Richard.
Hisey SchOol-Lida Kerr, EN-
ma Groves.
Pine School-Flossie Crump,
Bernice Terry.
Pleasant Plains SchoOl-War.
rem Lewellen.
Hedgedale SchOol-Josie Davis,
Cauthorn SchoOl-Eva Bethel,
Charlie Fritch.
Sneed School-Rnth Cook.
Boyd SchOol-Zelma Doyle, Roy
&. Moore.
Beagles SchOOl-Lucinda Talley
Roy Slaughter, Grant Morthland
Bolts School-Mae Hofriehter
McClintic School-Lillie Lower
West Lick SchoOl-Arthur Sned
eker.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1908-07-02

II you want to buy a piece Of
the very best farm lands in the
county on easy terms, call and see
Lakenan & Barnes. w3
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1908-07-02

Mrs. &. &. POOre of st. Louis is
visiting the family of her brother
in this city, =. l.. Robson
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1908-07-02

Nine of the graduates took ex-
animation before Commissioner
Davis for scholarships offered in
different high schools aud colleges
in the county aud over the State.
Ruth Cook north of Mexico,
ranked the highest in this examin-
alton, the others ranking in the
order as given below: Josie Davis /,
Roswell Henderson, Lille Lower,
Leila Tinsley, Lizzie Brown, Min.
ME Maxwell, Eula Brenton, Eva
Bethel.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1908-07-02
RURAL SCHOOL GRADUATES.
Scholarships Won-AbOut 40
Young People Receive
Diplomas.

One of the best school programs
we have heard for some time was
giuen at the Mexico Court house
Tuesday night-rural school grad
Mating exercises for the county.
About 40 young people were IN
the class and they made a fine
showing. Rev. T. ). Matthews OF
VandalIa delivered the address to
the class aud it was chock full OF
humor, good advice aud solid
sense.
Following was the program.
Solo, Miss Court.
Recitation-'Kelly's Dire am, "
Josie Davis.
Recitation" History of 1908"
Minnie Maxwell.
Recitation-Miss Harrison.
Composition-"What Is Worth
While" Ida Mae Kerr.
Observation-Disclosures Adams, ten.
or; Ladie Fonville, soprano; Mary
Gay Fonville, alto; Katherine
Mathews, base.
Recitation-"The Raggedy
Man." Emma Groves.
observation-disclosures of Song,
Frances Powell.
Recitation-"The Brave Hun
ter's Child Beatrix McQuerry.
Essay Examples of American
Wonders" Clarence Morrall.
Solo-"Sweet Estella," Sarah
O'Brien. of Maple Grove.
Recitation-"Towser Shall Not
Bark Tonight, Lizzie Brown.
Recitation, Lillian Grow.
Violin Solo. Miss Dora Sellard &.
Recitation, Flossie Weakley,
Farewell Address, Eula Brentou.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1908-07-02

Lakenan Il Barnes have some of
the best residences in town for
sale. WI
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1908-07-02

Mrs. August Weber fell and
broke her ankle while out in he I
yard last Monday evening.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1908-07-02

Mrs. NJ. l.. Taylor is home fro IN
an extended visit to friends in
Fayette.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1908-07-02

Miss Hattie Elliott of Chicago
is visiting her parents here.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1908-07-02

Miss Alma Keiser is visiting
friends in Colorado.
Mexico Missouri message. (Mexico, Audrain County, Mo.) 1899-1918, 1908-07-02

Herbert Plunkett is visiting hi:
uncle in Oklahoma.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22

spire him 10 action by batting him over the head
with a Grub and then walking on him. 1t S not so
hard TO appreciate the shoulder grudglngly. When
it comes to splitting the blue emPyrean with cres
of iov and thanksgiving over the club proceeding
it's rather diferent-unless We happen TO nave
welded the club II takes a high degree OF educa-
ton 10 appreciate the value and beauty OF the club
caresses. Generally a very considerable interval
must elapse. 49,.
We have felt the club reasonably often in this
country-the graft club, the political club the hlgh
finance club There have been enough OF them, and
they have pounded US pretty hard. They are going
to pound us some more, be sure OF that because we
are bound to get in this world exactly what we pay
for THEY'LL keep up the pounding until we learn
handle a club with intelligence ourselves Ven
get around to it some day, after enough OF US nave
been hit. There doesn't seem any other way Of in
spring act.
Probably the raucous human talking machine who
tries to convince us that this country IS going INTO
the hell of his own imagination IS helping along the
day; but for my part, when | hear him, teel Ike
reaching for a nail studded club and heavy hobna1ed
boots.
On the other hand, when one Of those unteathered
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22

-bipeds suffering from ingrowIng intelligence mounts
the platform of his own concelt and shouts with
sleerino suueriOritv,' l \ murIcun' l feel
like declaring that ! am a Patagonlan or something
simple and honest and natural Nor am / moved to
hvsterica acclaim when professional orator, who
confuses d rnegaphone with brains. makes loud
noise about American greatness. even though ne
nauls the dictionary till 1t shrleks with agony.
But sometimes the triumphant notes OF a band
swelling into the strain of liberty song, the com
peling shr and rattle of fife and drum. the Hutter-
ing Of the flag the deep chested word OF real man
whose heart speaks within him,-then the little
chills speed up and down Your spine, your eyes
grow moist looking far into the future, your bps
part to send forth the CRY of triumphant JOY or e-
tation that is choked in your throat, your swell
ing heart fills Your bosom. Then would you shout
80 that all the world might hear not IN boastfulness
but in thanksgiving / an American
1t IS always there. that feeling. deep down inside
of vou the real YOU And 50 long as 1t endures the
nation will endure, viii grow stronger and better,
and you and will grow with 1t The marvel IS that
we have gone far, accomplished So much not that
we have come upon 50 much evil
Is not that The spirit OF Thanksgiving,
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22
Some of Lanigan's Fables

THE next IrISh-AmeriCan humorous vrter w
Il the immortal author of The Ahkoo-d III S"a-.
which II would he an insult 20 ms uUClo-Jaii1t
suppose that arv present dav reader does not NI'
Perhaps this Is oVereStIruatInE The t,tr-.ii-l,S y
the present dav reader with some ~ the best INNS
written YESTERDAY Ii So. IL Is 81 pity for ~
world could afford % trade off one hundred tno'S
of its ordinary wiScacrcs. any time tCr one oI y
wits. and gam by the transaction. t'evISe
l-InIgan, who died about a quarter ~ q century =
wrote The AhkoOud of Swat Tie also Nig w.
lot of Fables that set a whole continent ausHl-e
Here Is one, which might have been written III '-'
present wear II Is entitled
THE \EKSNTJLE CHAMELEON AND rHr VIVID VS.
\ Versatile Chameleon having InJuyrl w ~ ~ ~.
the Desert hmm ~1urtlng up tte East nj ~
complained 90 ITS Lack of Nutrition .f.,
Do YOU 1--we upon Air bray ycu, ne al, -'' '1'-
ms Companion
Why. no, iranAlv replied the Chame-eoa ~
the Popular Impression but. and above my
salary, sat e. few Flies AMI other tSr al
Why. then wheezed the long cared Brute Nl 5 IN
rraycd himself Ioar>c during che Campaign I-
expect ME % i've ON Arr ,bg
Oh because YOU are an As~. alrty answered
Chameleon c.y
Nos,r-rhis Fable Explains how Man IN 5. IL
10000 o. get 5000 Ofhoe spend his salary --' Nv
Rent, and Retire Rich S.
Lanigan TELLS ,he following on his own tribe 'lID''
The title of
rHt Han AND THIS ANEsIc,N HuNosIsr
sand to her, ~cIvuCc teaches us tnAt YOU yyhsn
an Average Three hundred and eighty-tv. Eggs
you have Land these. what beoorle> 90 YOU .o~ng
! am usually decapItatc.t and sold Tor = 80.
Chicken, replied the faithful Fowl and She ~ddeu 7's
Cotaas- r1ss =
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22

steadily maintained that FitzIe-be-- he Percy va
his own and only lawful name-Ur-Il he had serve.
mis- full term and was hOnorably discharged Alta
that had been done, one Of the officers took IN
aside and said.
Now, de Percy. 1 understand you VIII not r
-rIst,'
II VIII not. sir.
Then. as personal favor. / should Ike YOU 2
tell me your real name. l don't mind saying IN
! have bet on It with the doctor and don't e.
pect vou 20 tell me for nothing n TACT, her
i've dollars for YOU IN consideration o- YOUR pr1va
feelings. / suppose YOU had Your family -eas-
for concealing It when YOU enlisted,
The ex-trooper accepted the I'VE and owned r
" Well, ST. YOU hit the th-u-h- o-d not ems
-rndher me rale name That / concealed for fam
-avsons. as YOU say. And | would not have
known TO anybody but the ger-leulr Of the res
in sthrict confidence. Ne -ale name IS not RITZ
Herbert de Percy, I'm sor-y To say We rale na-7
sir IS FitzCl arenCe de MontmOrency-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22

ISH-AMERICAN humor dates from
the coming of the first Irishman 10
America. He was one of the crew
of Columbus, and his name was
Mcguire. When Sangrado led his
unfortunate expedition from Guam
ahani 10 Porto Rico. year later,
Mcguire did not 60 with him. The
few survivors returned. after weeks
of misery, hunger, and untold hor-
rors. and the leader said that he
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22
Where Davy Crockett Went

THE same may be said OF jackson tonJ5nlPoT5~.
another Irish-Arnerican soldier. DaEE CTQche-
Who enjoyed celebrity IN Congress by his NeS'e--
humor When the Colonel ran for rer.5ctlon' ng ]
ever he was badly defeated Ihereuror ne cane
together his constituents and delivered the ia'''
-e1narkably frank speech on record. winding I.
with the statement that he was through with Pee-
forever. and that YOU may al 90 go he'll ana
90 TO Texas -,
Which he did History does not sly wh-'5a
MS constituents went; but they are al de4l.
which was q starter. II least, as Colonel LroeA''
himself would say
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22
The Right to Be Killed

one of the unforgotten humoristS OF the W.
~ period was General Charles Halp-E- VINO W. NJ
good war poems under the name of PRIVATE VIZ -
O'Reiv' Probably the keenest ot them was ~, ~
private opinion on the enlistment az negro sod''
cor the Union
They burning shame 10 make -.- r-.
And that the thrade of being k1lt belongs - Oh ,l
But for nv part upon my SovI So liberal we here
Nv right be Kilt III divide with hmm On every " "
wear.
listen boys darling don't tasaa -r-- I'll GYMS
chatf- So. -s.
49, b
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22
His Real Name

THERE Is another exquisite tale Of the man who
enlisted for hvc Years III one OF our cavalry
regiments West giving his name as FitzIIerbert
lie Percy. Ills hrOgue a trihe pronounced
Tor a man bearing that aristocratic cognOmtu. but
he good soldier ii trustworthy man. and one
who never forgot himself, and drunk OF sober. he
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22

laborer a crowded Inn who was requested TO
share his bed with a local Judge. He CbligingIv
consented; but his new roommate was none too
well pleased, and took pains to remark, as he was
turning in:
Pat. YOU would be a long time in the old country
before YOU d tnd Yourself sleeping with "a Judge
Faith, that's thrue enough" was the prompt
response; but you'd be long time in The old
country before you'd be a Judge
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22
An Early Patriot

How long 1t requires i Irishman to become an
- American Is another story. The federal stat
utes, of course have their crude opinions or
the subject. but those authorities are APT 10 be
influenced Toy prosaic fact rather than 10y divine
instinct.
1t is told of two steeragc passengers whose
steamer entered New York the morning of the
glorious Fourth, that of them. an Englishmau
listened few minutes to the tremendous Canuonade
and cracker firing that ushcred in the dawn Of
Freedom. At last he turned to his companion and
wondered what the meaning Of al the bloom
ing row
The other smiled scornfully "Arrah, gwan YOU
foreigner This IS the dav bate vecst"
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22
President Jackson's Retort

THE Irish-Americar humorisr did not appear z
literature before the time OF the trI Wa
though when The occasion called Tor remark ll-
would Outlast more pOnpCus expressions ne ger
orally said something that enriched The ianguag7
1t was the son of an Ir1shman. President Andre
Jackson who when his Secretary Of state, Va
Buren,, Profered him unasked advice as 20 no" -1
President should receive a visiting foreign no1~
man, replied paternally
Van. l once knew man IN Tennessee who MAJ
his everlasting fortune by rind1ng his own business
The hunor here IS not very subtle pul -1
speech was intended rather o he e--eC-lFe -n--
amusing
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22

would have died of starvation had II not been TOR
my friends -" Yes" said Senior Mcguire, " m one
Of the friends that wasn't there. If | had been,
should not be here now. That is the first cannibal
Joke record.
There are other old tests, which may be rccog
nzed even 10 this day the variety stage or in the
columns Of funny weekhes. under the head of Irish
Jokes. Anybody compose them, If he has i
good memory if he is entirely unaCq u.unted with
Irish character and dialect, and If he IS gifted with
total absence of the sense Of humor So anybody
can and does. construct Yankee, Dutch,
Niger" and other kinds Of humor, the same
large capital of inspired ignorance. generation
ago several thousand brilliant humurists discovered
the art Of being funny by initiating the bad spelling
IF Artemus Ward and Josh Billings. Their names.
unhappi!v. are lost 10 posterity.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-11-22
The Laborer and the Judge

NUT of the myriad s. called Irish stories there
~ are a few good enough to he repeated even at
the risk OF infringing the rights of the chestnut
Gtaler
4 yc-, characteristic one is th.t Of The Irish
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-09-10
Millinery Opening.

The ladies of Scotland and vicin-
ity are cordially invited to come in
and inspect my large stock of fall
millinery on the opening days, Fri
day and Saturday, September 18th
and 10Th. Come and Q the dis.
play whether you wish to buy or
not.
MISS AGNES MUM.
States Atty. Dimock of Memo
was here Tuesday on his way to
Yankton.
W. F. Brooks Of Pierson, Ia, is
here this week looking after his
farm west of town.
Chris Bangert of Avon was here
Monday and went to Pennington
county to visit for a few days.
The infant son of Mr.. and Mrs
w. J. Johnston was quite sick the
fore part of the week with cholera
infantum.
JAG. Wells moved his family on
Monday from the academy build
ing to the second floor of the Bas.
kin hotel building.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-09-10

E.. H. Treiber and Frank Pillar
have put in new cement walk in
front of their places of business to
replace the old walk that was bad
ly cracked and broken.
Tempel Bros, who recently pur-
chased the Philip Schenkenberger
stock of general merchandise, are
packing up the goods and will ship
them to Brofy, N. D., where they
will open a new store.
The Mitchell Corn Palace will be
the greatest event in the state this
year. William j. Bryan, presi-
Dental candidate, will deliver an
address on Sept. %. Arrange to
hear him.
Maj. and Mrs. Dollard leave to-
day for their home in Santa Mont
ca, though they go by way OF
Washington where they will visit
Mrs. Dollard's sisters, Mrs. Lund
and Mrs. Bloomer, and will not
reach home for about a month.
Since their arrival here the latter
part of July their time has been
constantly occupied calling on
their many friends, having been
entertained at about twenty-iv
different homes and were then un.
able to accept all of the invitations
extended to them. They go home
feeling confident that the Latch
strings of Scotland are always out
to them. and we trust that theil
visits to their old home will be fire..
quent.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-09-10
POULTRY WANTED.
Patronize your home dealer fron

Patronize your home dealer from
now on. We are here to buy all
kinds of poultry except geese-we
want them later. Will pay the
highest living prices and take poul-
try any day except Sunday. When
ever you are ready to sell, come in
and see US before selling, at the old
Poultry and Egg House in Scot
land.
V. s. BARKER,
Scotland, s. D.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-09-10
s. Baker returned Tuesday from
a trip to Pennington county.

s. Baker returned Tuesday from
a trip to Pennington county.
George Gum and George Bruce,
both of Rapid City, spent Sunday
in Scotland. They we're both for
mer Scotland boys and stopped off
here while on their waysto the fair
at Sioux City, where they will take
part in the wild broncho riding
contests.
Mrs. Gano and granddaughter
Alta Gano went to Mt. Vernon
Saturday to visit the little girls
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. Sherman
Gano. They returned on Tuesday
and Alta will spend the winter at
the home of her uncle, l. ]. Davis,
near Wittenberg and attend school.
Last Tuesday the weather man
in charge of the furnace appears to.
have turned on the full draft and
gave us the worst blast that we
have had for many years. If there
was any corn that wasn't beyond
the roasting a stage it certainly
got roasted, but most of it was too
far advanced to be injured.
A fellow giving his name as
Jones was arrested here last Fri
day for trying to pass a forged
check on a bank at Utica. After
trying both banks he went to the
store of j. A. Jelly & Co. where he
met Marshal Cobb and was
: promptly arrested. The descrip-
ton of the fellow and the story be
put up tailed with the description
sent out from Henry of a fellow
who had practiced the art at that
place, so the authorities there were
notified. He was held until Mon
day night, and as the officers from
Henry did not appear he was
turned loose.
The Dode Fisk Dog and Pony
Show and Trained Wild Animal
Exhibition which appears in this
city on Saturday, Sept. 18th, un-
der the auspices of the Scotland
Cemetery Association, has more
wonderful features than any travel
show on the road today. This show
is not a common everyday attrac.
ton, but supports the best talent
! owns the most valuable trained
animals, has an excellent correc
band and gives an elaborate stree
parade at one o'clock.
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-10-06
Had a Surprise.

I had run into a law office in a town
in Dakota to consult the lawyer about
4 tax. title on a piece of land, but l
found the place in charge of young
man about twenty-three years old,
who sat with his head in hands and
paid not the least attention to my
presence or my questions. l finally
took it that he was deaf and dumb, and
when had spent half an hour reading
a newspaper the lawyer entered and
excused his absence. At the same time
the young man arose and sighed some
more, and as he went out the lawyer
called after him:
"See you tomorrow at the same hour,
Harry
But 1 thought he was deaf and
dumb" I said.
"Oh, no, no, no! He's one of the
brightest young men we have in the
county"
"Then he's in trouble?"
"Well, yes He's being sued for
breach of promise. When l took his
case he assured me that the girl hadn't
a scintilla of proof to back her. To-
day we discovered That during the past
year he had written her ninety six let
tiers, and in every one of them he call
ed her hts love and his darling and
asked her to hurry up the marriage
day. Oh, no, he isn't deaf and dumb
He's simply a surprised young man
They always are when the love letters
turn up."
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-10-06
Where His interest Lay.

1t was perfectly natural thing hat
when he entered the ear ard sat down
beside man who was reading Il news
paper and had the look of a politician
TO boot that he should observe:
well, the campaign is growing bit
hot"
"Um!" was the reply
"And from this time Oh it will grow
hotter
UNI"
Anything very fresh in the paper
this morning."
I'm"
The three rebuffs would have been
sufficient TO discourage an average
man. but this man was the exception.
He waited half minute and then
said:
Are you particularly interested in
either of the great parties?"
mo, sir-no. Sir--I am not, sir" al
most shouted the other as his face
grew red. Look at these shoes.
bought them three days ago l thought
they were a fit, but they amt The
pinch me. They squeeze me- They
crippled me. They make me limp am
cuss Great parties-politics! They
can go to the devil, sir--they can &c
to the devil. and if the next pair OF
shoes I buy are not large enough fol-
family of four then l will go to the
devil tOOin
Ottumwa tri-weekly courier. [volume] (Ottumwa, Iowa) 1903-1916, 1908-10-06
1t Was Very Important.

'Ts 'spectin' a letter, sah," he said
as he entered the postoffice and braced
UP to the general delivery window.
"Where from?" queried the clerk.
Cant 'zactly say, sab, but 1 reckon
he'll write
rs it very important letter."
cit is so very important, sab, dat
blood will probably flow like water in
consequence of it. 1t will be a letter
from de Hon. Samuel Green, sab, and
it will be directed to de Hon. Tony
Brown, sab, and in dat letter de Hon.
Sam will call me liar and a villain"
"He will, Ell? And on your part you
will'-
'I shall remark de cognizance of de
same, sab, and 1 shall perceptively slip
a razor into my pocket and luXuriantly
stroll around town until l meet de
gemman referred to-
and then?"
"Den, sab, 1 shall gin him de oppor-
tunity to render an abjeck apology,
and if he refuses to do it de grim hand
of de fell destroyer will reach out and
moshun dis way and moshun dat way,
and de Hon. Sam Green will be gath
cred to his ladders, and dis world of
turmoil will know him no mo- foreber'