The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-23

ID DO you know that your chickens come
must be doing that" why did YOU think
SOP" Because they never come hack -
Cleveland Leader.
Jones is always wasting his time, isn't
ne! Aow? Arguing with his wife,
Detroi: Fres Press
shad. Just what I've been waiting for
SAID the German carp. Subsequent events
showed that there wasn't room for both,
and the homeless shad passed in history
Chicago Tribune
He was holding down the parlor sofa
he dueried Wen. YOU see. this is p an Sp-
right piano." she explained.-Chicago
~. II hear you re going to marry Charley"
Yes: ne asked me last evening" "Leehne
congratulate you. Charley is all right He
engaged to.''-Nashville American.
Mrs. Lakeside-Oh. yes, some of those
narrow-minded exclusive eastern people
say that Chicago isn't cultivated Mr.
I1akeside-Humph! All the city is except
the south part, and that's too marshy.
The land amt worth cultivation-Town
and Country.
Shoemaker's Boy (to college student
angrily)-Father told me 1 should not
leave here till I collected the bill for
your shoes. Student-What is the matter,
kid? Have you got a on?-Fliegende
Blaetter.
ed up at the city postoffice, what does
them letters MDCCCXCVII mean?"
They mean eighteen hundred and nine
ter thoughtful pause, don't yez think
they're overdoin' this spellin' reform a
bit?''-W ashington Star.
Loan me a dollar. old man." said the
actor; I'm hungry" I'm broke my
I'll put you on in the bill tonight. We have
an eating scene" Man, I'll starve before
night" In that case. I'll call a re-
hearSal Louisville Courier Journal.
Bacon-When we were in the country
that man Breef wanted to try milking.
Egbert-Why, he never did any milking,
did he? Il should say sol why, he's q
corporation lawyer!"-Yonkers Statesman.
Not to Blame.-The Employe-Please,
sir. I've been an gone an got married,
and I'd like you to raise my wages. sir.
The Employer (worried by thoughts of
the workmen's compensation act)-Very
sorry for YOU. Smith, I'm sure, but 1 can't
do that. m only responsible for accidents
that happen in the works, you Knoxville
Sketch.
He-A girl made a fool of me two years
ago. She-I felt sure something had hap
pened in your past life that you never got
over.-Illustrated Bits.
When we see a man strike an attitude
there is always strong temptation to hit
him in return.-Puck.
Son-Father. what's a music critic7
Father-He's fellow that all music seems
to irritate.-Judge.
Bacon-And does your son show any
signs of his college training? Egbert-Oh,
yes: he's quite lame from an injury he re-
ceived on the football team.-Yonkers
Statesman.
Reggy-Bah Jove. I told my tailor I'd
like to marry some rich girl and become
interested in settlement work Percy
What did he say? Reggy-He said I'd bet
ter get to work and make a settlement on
that suit 1 bought two years ago.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
Rector Ito workman going through
churchyard)-Now, my good man, you
mustn't bring your wheelbarrow through
here. You must go round the other way.
Aren't you aware that this is consecrated
ground? We'll. EUR. 1 didn't know but
what they barry warn't consecrated, too.
I borrv'd it O. the sexton. Punch.
Teacher-Tommie. what is the plural OF
pauper? Tommie-Why, porpo ses, ma'ami