Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-10-15

snow fickers." "Soy, how's de brakes down dat
way? De last time me an de Honyak wuz dere,
de connie elevated us from the inside of a empty
inter a cactus garden, four hundred and eighty-wan
miles from grub. We walks de ties fer tree weeks.
Den we hits Albuquerque an | near had tub beat
a carpet tub git grub. De ole gurrul would NV
had me woikin' only she grubs me foist, befoar she
brings out de woik tools. Den I digs"
"Dere's muffin like dat, dere, desc days. Dey
leaves de pies an eats out in de opun an de DO
wot can't freeze to wan meal an hour don't git no
soft woids from dis lulu"
That animated, brilliant and engrossing roper
toire was only one of several thousand of the same
variety, which comprised hobo "reminiscences told
Nv members of the great army Of the unwashed
rNtish assembled in convention not many months
= ago al Clifford, Ill, for the National Hobo re-
union.
Small tramps, fat tramps, tall tramps, short
tramps, red-headed ones, blondes, colored tramps,
low-down tramps, tramps with high personal re-
gard for their vocations, and others who were
.sneaky and might be caught working, were it not
ztlg the watchfulness of their brothers, all assem-
~bled in solemn conclaye to worship their goddess,
Rest.
These sons of rest-but they were not all sons,
there were several daughters of rest-all paid their
respects to the cause for which they are fighting
in their own tactless way. They, for the nine
teenth time, swore loyalty to the associations mot
to: Work, washing and worry are weapons of the
devil and he who would knowingly or Intentionally
snylte the descent of his platonic majesty in that
manner, he it is who is no true Son of Rest"
SlothfuI Sam, President Weary Willie, Ragged
Rufus, Tattered Tom, Reeking Reignald, Dinky
Dan, the best dressed "bo" in the association;
Handout Hank, Pieface Peter, Looping Louie, Walk
ing Walter, Prayed Francis, Mirthful Mike, Tin-Can
Teddy. and all the rest of the influential brethren
of the Fraternal Order Of tie unwashed, were
there.
The attendance was as large as usual, There
were some missing, of course. Roll call revealed
the fact that Secretary Signing Sinkers was un
~avoidably detained by friends among the authori
ties at the Desplaines street police station in Chi
cago. He was booked as a "vag," much to the un
washed chagrin of President Weary Willie, who il
the course Of his opening address remarked tina
it was DE woist coise dat wuz ever put fort on di
susietie, tub tink dat one NV de most necessar,
poissons of de order should be compelled tub mis-
dis intellergen' meetin."
All the old officers Of the association we're re
elected, the minutes of the meeting being inscribe
upon the brain of President Weary Willie until Sec
rotary Sinkers should be released from his soiour
in Chicago. The members of the association, tn
most easily satisfied crowd on earth, then az
journed. This action consisted Of the chief excel
tive dropping into a sound sleep. Others did tn
same.
The following day the annual games of the o
ganiZatiOn were given. There were several limit
vations, hitherto not introduced. The long distanc
snoozing contest drew out several hundred entire
and it required three days before the judges wer
able to render a decision. Wakeful Wafles wa
returned victor eventually, but up to the time
writing he was still snoozing noisily, utterly igno
ant Of the honor which his happy faculty ha
thrust upon him.
The hanIsomest hobo contest was captured b
Dinky Dan. who In a little address to the slumbe
ing contestants In the long-distance sleeping co
test, declared that in the absence Of any prize, IL
honor alone gave him plenty Of satisfaction.