davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
COMEDY IN THE DRUG STORE.
Serious Place Usually, But Funny
Things Happen Occasionally.

NO, can't say that we have a
large number Of comic incidents hap
pening here daily" said the drug
clerk. "As q matter of fact, tie drug
business Is inclined rather to the Sc
rious side OF things naturally, but we
do have funny things happen occa-
sionally, like this morning, when a
little girl came In with a prescription
that she said she wanted put up in
hatsules.
'HatsulesT says, sort Of puzzled
like, because for the moment I didn't
fall to what the little girl meant.
Yes, sir. hatsules,' she says, just
like that. and then 1t began to perco-
late through my brain just what the
little girl did mean, and | says to her
then:
~ guess you mean capsules, don't
your and she says:
why, Of course I do. Hatsuleso
she said. and laughed right out as she
said IT, OF course I mean capsules!
How could ever I get it twisted up
like that%
And so we put the medicine up In
capsules and the little girl took 1t
and carried II away.
And really that wasn't the most
comic thing that ever happened in the
world: but, as was saying, you don't
exactly expect to have funny things
happen in a drug store, and so that
call for hatsules kept us cheerful here
for three-quarters of an hour."-New
York Sun.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
Camphor to Break Up a Cold.

One Of the most efficient remedies
for breaking up a cold during its
earliest stage is camphor. When the
eyes begin TO water and there is the
accompanying tingling Of the nose and
feeling Of chilliness, place three drops
Of camphor on a lump Of loaf sugar
and place the sugar in the mouth.
Repeat this every 10 minutes till
four or five doses have been taken.
At the same time place the feet whore
they will become thoroughly warm.
This will usually prove effectual in
breaking up a cold if the cold is taken
at its very beginning For a child but
one drop should be placed upon the
sugar, and five or six doses admins
tered.-Health.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
RESTS ON PRODUCTS OF FARM.
Fruit Of n. Earth tire Real Founcs-
ton of All Prosperity.

The nations prosperity really rests
On farm products. 30 long as these
reach UP 10 the value Of former years
approximately s., 500 900. 900 in 1907
-thix must continue 10 be so. There
has probably never been time in this
generation when such splendid gen
seral crop prospects existed as al the
beginning OF May. and which have con-
tinued up 70 the middle Of the month.
The empty cars Of today will all be
enlisted to move the wheat, corr, oats
and cotton nov seeded. One strong
impression on the traveller in the
Trans-Mississippi country 10 the utili-
xation of the waste places Of past
years.
The unsizhtly desert OF today is the
bIossoming orchard Of tomorrow, and
tie irrigation ditch the advance agent
Df prosperity In manifold forms. Some
Of the results Of irrigation In Texas,
Shich promises 10 rival Louisiana as q
rice producing state, and in Colorado,
where land newly wstered commands
from $500 to 81. 900 an acre, and that
IN bearing orchards from $1,000 TO
- 600 an acre. are marvellous 70 be-
hold. Western Texas, cleared Of mes
quite and cultivated for cotton, has
witnessed an increase In her annual
rainfall Of nearly ten inches. The
change OF climate In the new portion
OF the country is a study by itself
Nature adap's herself TO new condi-
tons and helps those who help them
seIves.-Charles F. Speare in Review
Of Reviews.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
Ruskin the Pioneer.

John Ruskin proposed oldage rc1
siOns more than 80 years ago. In his
lectures at Manchester in 1857 on The
Political Economy OF Art" he pleaded
for pensions TO soldiers Of the plow
share as well as soldiers Of the sword,
and three years later he developed the
plea In his Unto This Last" The es.
says republished under that title orig.
inally appeared in the Cornhill Mag.
azine, then edited by Thackeray The
novelist was a friend OF Ruskin, and
not a timorous person; but so loud
was the cutlery at the appearance OF
such disreputable heresies In SO re.
spectacle a magazine that Thackeray
was constrained to stop Ruskin's pa
I<rs.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
100000 YEARLY
Taken From Big Alaska Mines.
Output Will Extend Many
Years.

A geological survey report says
that precious metals to the value
of more than 100000 annually
are now being taken from the
placer mines of Seward Peninsula,
in Alaska.
All the known facts indicate
that a comparatively uniform out
put may reasonably be expected
from those graveIs, which have al
ready contributed more than S40,-
600 to the worlds wealth.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
Watch the Milk Bottle.

We are nearing the hot months when
the infantile death rate will take It's
annual abrupt upward turn, and In
four or five weeks this mortality will
once more show itself in its customary
shocking details. Much Of it is due to
milk, and not necessarily to milk that
was impure before delivery. If the
parents of the community wish to save
the babies, the remedy for the sum
mer Ill rests to a large extent with
themselves. Watchfulness OF the milk
bottle from this time on will 90 long
way in preventing the dreaded dis
eases which mesn/ so much in the
country's vital tatistics.-Detroit Free
Press.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
What Do They Cure!

The above question is often asked con
eerning DIR. Pierce's two leading medl
cii.es. -GolGcn Medical Discovery sna
sFavorite Prescription
The answer Is that Golden Medicai
Discovery is q most potent Alternative o.
blood-puritier. and tonic or invigorafo'
and acts especially favorably in a cur2
tive wsy up0E al tho mucous lining sur
faces, a. OF the nasal passages. throat
bronchial tubes, stomach. bowels ane
tiside7ecuring . large per cent. OF cata'
rhsl caAes whether <le disease affects tb.
nasal psssazeS, the N<oat. larynx, broL
CHA. ssonach>Ss as c.tsnAsl dyspepsia
uterus or other Pelvie orgsrN Even l.
the CHRONIC nlea<atiYE SilSsS Of hes
AoeclQlS- u l. often Success.nl IN Affect
ne .fsv0ri;e Prescrip,Ioa. Is adxis.=s
ior ths t-lks 81 one S,sss Of thQS,
Rc0!&r wezSns<,GS 1trAnssG.Fnts an
IoAe4sSi ys; SS1sr " f ES9 iS Ss
Ing tonic and ueryine- For weak worn
out, oyer-vorkei vuIasr-uo matter wha
has caused the hre2k%tvvn, -fayorit
Prescription win be found NOT effective
In building up the strength regulating
the womaniy functions. subduing pain
and bringing atoat healthy. vigorous
condition OF the whole system
A book OF particulars wrzps each bottle
giving the formula of both medicines and
quoting what scores Of eminent med
zeal authors. whose works are consulted
By physicians of all the schools Of practice
IS guides in prescribing. say of each in
greiient entering into these medicines.
The words OF praise bestowed on the
several ingredients entering into Doctor
Picrce's medicines BY snch writer's should
have more weight than any amount of
non professional testimonials. because
such men are writing for the guidance OF
their medical brethren and know whereof
they speak.
Both medicines are non-alccholic non
secret. and contain no harmful habit
forming drugs. being composed of glyceriC
extracts OF the roots of native, American
medicinal forest plants They are both
sold by dealers in medicine. You can't
afford 10 accept rs a substitute for one OF
these medicines Of known composition,
any secret nOstrum.
DR.. pierce's Pellets. small. sugar-coated.
e2sy TO cake as candy, regulate and i'm
viGorate stomach. liver and bowels.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
No Place for Docs.

Is it impossible in Japan to keep a
good dog? | have twice had my dogs
disappear in a seemingly miraculous
way.
As | am well aware that there is a
great demand for dog skins, especially
those of young dogs, we have been
careful in having our dog watched;
nevertheless. he disappeared the other
morning.
Almost every foreigner has lost a
dog or dogs, and even sea captain
who was three days on shore had his
dog poisoned the first day he put his
feet on land.-Japan Chronicle.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
Leaf That the Devil lore.

In the library of the Massachusetts
Historical society is a leaf of a sermon
on which is written the following
memorandum by DR.. Elliott:
Or. Cotton Mathers leaf of a ser
mon which the devil was so spiteful
as to tear. The leaf has been torn,
and near the rent is the followine
memorandum in Mather's own hand
writing: While l was preaching at a
private fast (kept for a posse sed
young woman)-on Mark tx, 2S-29-vc
Devil in we Damsel few upon NEE
and tore we leaf, as it is now tore
over against We text"
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
STRANGE Human Nature.

Hits a mighty strange thing" said
Broaher Williams, dat wen we lays
up treasures in heaven we still
spends all we got on earf wild de doc.
tors to keep us fun gwine whar it is,
We pray erbout 1t, and We sing erbout
it-streets er gold an milk an honey
but somehow or other We don't feel
lax walkin' on shiny pavement, an
milk an honey don't seem ter suit our
appetite! l reckon it's des po' human
natur' shown up what hits least ex-
pected. We is all weak critters!"-
Atlanta Constitution.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
The Shrinking Sun,

One hundred years ago the diameter
Of the sun was four miles greater
than it is now. One thousand years
ago the suns diameter was 40 miles
greater than it is at present. Ten
thousand years ago its diameter was
400 miles greater than it is to-day.
The present diameter OF the sun is
100000 miles, AM If this diameter
were to shrink tomorrow to the ex-
tent of 10000 miles the change would
not be appreciate TO common OBJ
servation, though a much smaller
change would not elude the delicate
astronomical measurement. New
York American.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01

Pain will depart in exactly 20 minute S
if one of DR.. Shops Pink Pain Tablets is
taken Pain anywhere. Remember
Pain always means congestion, blood
pressure-nothing else. Headache is
blood pressure; toothache is blood pres
sure on the sensitive nerve. DIR. Scoops
Headache Tablets-also called Pink Pain
Tablets-quickly and fely coax this
blood pressure away from pain centers.
Painful periods with women get instant
relief. 20 Tablets 25c. Sold by F. c.
Duerson. s-5t
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
Literal Facts.

Some of the most unlucky kings
and queens In history brought their
misfortunes on themselves by their
bad judgment In crises"
That's 80; for instance, both
Charles l. and Mary Queen OF Scots
at the critical moment OF their
careers. lost their heads"
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
The Vanity of Norman.

Dismal Dave-Wonder why It's dat
wimmen is most alters better lookin'
dan us men is?
Lazy Luke-Dat's easy one. A
woman washes her face most every
day list fer de looks Nv It
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
To Fall Back upon,

I'VE put that motto back on the
coins, anyhow" said the Congressman.
YES" answered the constituent,
land In view Of what yeu fsllews have
accomplished during this session that
motto AHQEaa " aSg anlx anAaalAtiaa.
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
Polite CIrcumIocutIon,

'Ts that man q lobbyist"
my dear sir. there are no lobbyists
But there must be patriotic people
who give members of-the Legislature
, advice on public needs entirely out
tdde their own range Of experience"
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01
Johnson in Race to Win.

Gov. John Johnson, of Mime
sofa, will not permit the nominal
ton of William Jennings Bryan
by the Democratic party at its ma
tiOnal convention in Denver on
July Z without a struggle. He
threw down the gauntlet when.
through his campaign management,
he announced:
Il will not accept the nominal
ton for the Vice Presidency under
any circumstances. If there is
such a nomination / shall compel
the national committee to make
another choice"
The Mt. Sterling advocate. (Mt. Sterling, Ky.) 1890-current, 1908-07-01

AS LONG as there is any of it
on the house at all Green Seal
Paint looks well, and it stays on a
long time, too. Thos. Kennedy.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-18
PRESERVING the Balance.


A well known professor of architec
ture, commonly referred to as Ham
my" by bis pupils, told story illus.
trative of the remarkable degree to
which certain persons possess the sense
Of symmetry.
1t seems that there was once a
Scotch gardener who had charge of
good sized English estate and under
whose direction the formal garden at
the rear had been laid out with abso-
lutte symmetry, even the two summer
houses, one on each side Of the garden,
being Identical in even the most minute
detail On one occasion the English
man became angry at his son and
locked him up In one of the summer
houses AS soon as the Scotch garden
er heard of this his sense of symmetry
was so outraged that he Immediately
sent for his own son and locked him
up In the other summer house to pre-
serve the balance "Hammy" neglect
ed to mention whether both boys were
dressed exactly alike, but it is to be
presumed that even this detail was at
tended to by the aesthetic Scotchman.
New York Times
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-18

A London gentleman, having taken
a small farm in the country as being
the correct thing to do. as well as to
get little fresh air. had invited som.
of his friends down to see his new
possession.
Having viewed the domain and not
ing the absence of creature life about
the place. one of his friends remarked:
with a nice, open place like this, |
wonder you don't have some animals
about. as is usual on farm. Some
cows, for instance. so as to have your
own butter and cream"
'No-o," drawled his host, don't care
about butter or cream"
"Some chickens or ducks. then. You
surely like fresh eggsT
Moo, don't care for eggs. But I've
sometimes thought I'd like sheep.
rather like kidneys for breakfast
Liverpool Mercury.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-18
Al Aerohat,s Dilemma.


The acrobats Of the music halls have
no end in view except to cause amuse
ment. But suppose one should meet
them in ordinary life? Mr.. Berkeley
the proprietor of a London hotel, was
in his office about 6 o'clock one even.
ing when he heard knock at the
door, while voice, which seemed to
express pain, cried "Open! MI
Berkeley obeyed, but cry OF horror
escaped him, and he almost fell back
ward. He saw before him, rolling on
the ground, topsy turvy, kind OF hu
man ball which was walking upon Its
hands. with the head twisted round
eyes protruding and neck contorted.
81 did not wish to alarm my neigh
bors," gasped this extraordinary be
ing-it was a contortionist from a cir
Gus who had been practicing in biz
room-"but | cannot unlock my lee
from behind my neck, and unless you
can help me 1 am afraid 1t Is all W
with me-"
Mr.. Berkeley disentangled the aero
bat. who fell exhausted on chair Hi
had descended twenty stairs upon hi
hands in this position.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-18
Tha Palisades.

Sc see New York city from the PAIL
sades is to witness the multiple beau
ty and wonder of the Palisades them
selves One OF the most astonishing
facts concerning these towering
masses Of grandeur is that they lie so
close to the most artificial, man sub
jugated area that civilization has
evolved. writes Philip verrill Mighels
In Harpers Magazine. To come upon
the Palisades from the rear at night
is like stepping to the edge Of the
world. where the slender, dark island
lies low beyond as II it were only
a part of space its countless lights
looking like millions Of stars stretched
for miles across the sky. The iilu
sion Is dispelled when the wind flows
up with the tide to the base of the
cliffs and lifts up the full throated
roar Of the substantial city.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-18
TO ENTER SOCIETY"
You must Have Treasure, TemPera-
mef1t and Tact

You must Have Treasure, TemPera-
ment and Tact.
To enter paradise you had to be
good and you had to be dead. To
enter society you do not have to be
either. On the contrary, though what
you do have to be is harder to tell
than 1t is to get there. But certain
requisites may be mentioned. These
are treasure, temperament and tact
Treasure, which is the basis Of all
scrumptiousness, speaks for itself.
Temperament is more complex Tenn
permanent Is the art of holding your
own on the subject Of nothing at all
with experts who have devoted their
lives to the subject That is clearly
abnormal. Tact, while less unnatural,
Is more abstruse. Tact is the ability
to put your vibrations into harmony
with those Of others about you. AS
pirants may be rich, righteous and
ready, yet If they lack that ability.
whatever their efforts, they are no
where. If they possess IT, then, though
they be nobodies, they have only to
choose where they want to go and get
there generally speaking. that is, and
provided they are not In a hurry.
Taste is very mercantile, besides being
unbecoming Edgar Saltus In Broad
way Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-18


The longest dance on record Is prob
ably that of William Kemp, an actor
Of some celebrity in the reign of Queen
Elizabeth. Eie was comedian and
danced all the way from London to
Norwich
He was attended by taborer, a
servant and an overseer, and it was
doubtless a good thing for him that
there were no omnibuses or police then,
for they would probably have imposed
more impediments in the way OF MS
progress than did the country people.
He started with several presents OF
greats and crooked sixpences for Luck,
and. laden with these, he danced to
Stratford with out rest
Subsequently he went In for early
rising to avoid market people, and,
though suffering from sprain of the
HID which he received, he danced It
wen again, to the delight of the crowd
which accompanied him. some 200 in
number.
When he reached Norwich he had to
dance In and out of the city twice,
for his overseer missed him in the
crowd and made him do the distance
over again to avoid any possibility OF
error.-London Graphic
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-18
Postage Stamp Gum.


Every time a person ticks United
States postage stamp he gets taste
of sweet potato. The gum with which
the stamps are backed is made from
that succulent vegetable because Uncle
Sans lieutenants consider it the most
harmless preparation Of the sort All
of the gum used on American postage
stamps is mixed by the government at
the bureau of engraving and printing,
where the stamps are made. 1t is
spread on the sheets after the stamps
have been printed. The gum, In a
liquid form. is forced up through pipes
from the basement, where 1t is made.
These pipes lead to a series Of ma
chimes consisting of rollers, between
which the sheets of stamps are fed, one
at time. A continuous fine stream
Of the liquid gum falls upon one OF
these rollers. The sheet with its wet
coating of sweet potato mucilage passes
from the rollers into long horizontal
flue filed with hot air. When II
energies at the other end Of the fue
the gum is dry.-New York Telegram.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-18

An odd hunting adventure recently
befell a British officer In India. He
was mounted on a feet mule and was
running down a wild boar, intending
to lance it, when the animal turned,
bit the mules leg and then fed again
The mule screamed savagely, and in
minute she had deposited the officer
on the ground Then, kicking out
vigorously FIVE or six times, as If to
see that her legs were all right, she
started after the unfortunate pig at
lightning speed, With fury in her eyes
and vengeance in the crook OF her
ears. The race was not long, and the
Wild boar soon realized that he had
exasperated a relentless enemy He
was soon winded, and the mule, com
ing up with him, caught him by the
backbone with her teeth, crunched 1t
and threw him to the ground and
then, before he could rise, kicked him
so viciously that he was dead boar
in less than no time. Then the mule
returned to her master and gave utter
ance to "heehaw" of triumph.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-18
BOUGHT His Own Work.

To come across a bit of ones own
work in print is an experience not ordi-
narily exasperating to an author. but a
Washington writer on scientific mat
tiers was recently not very agreeably
surprised by such a development
1t appears that the writer was col
Letting material for a monograph on
electro magnetism when word came to
him of valuable paper on the subject
not long before published in a Berlin
Journal devoted to science. Thinking
that the paper would be Of use to him
in the work In hand, he had it trans
lated. When the English version was
laid before him, together with quite a
bill for the translator's labor, what was
the disgust of the writer TO find that
the article was nothing more or less
than a German reproduction of an ar
ticle of his own published the year be-
fore In an English Journal And he
had paid twice as much for the trans
lation as he had received for the orig
lnal article!- Washington Star.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-18
a Dispenser Of Smiles.

Her mother said: "Oh, dear! Isn't
that awful? What will people thinkY'
but the people themselves seemed to
think it about the prettiest incident
they had met that day.
She was a very little girl, white
frocked, pink ribboned, brown curled.
With her mother she left the subway
train at the Grand Central station. The
usual confusion prevailed Timid trav-
elers grabbed suit cases and bundles
and exclaimed, "Oh, do we change
hereY Trainmen on the platform
shouted out directions for local and
express trains and the guards of that
particular car adjured the passengers
frequently and vehemently to "Step
Hvelyr' and to Watch the step" Then
all Of a sudden there was lull in the
uproar The little girl was leaving
the car. She stopped at the door, look
ed back and waved her hand.
"Goodby, everybody" she said.
The words carried to the far end Of
the car They made every one sit up
Two or three persons called out re
sponsive "Goodby." two or three said
BLESS the child" and all smiled.-New
York Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-18
A GREAT SURPRISE.

The SINGULAR Nobleman Who Wanted
an American Heiress.
The American father of the heiress
greeted the count who was sutton for
her hand with dignified frigidity.
"Sare," said the count, your daugh
ter has done me ne honnaire of con-
senting to be my wife. am called
to complete re negotiations.
~All right" YEARLY said the father
1How much Of cash settlement do
you expectY'
Messing, sare."
"What! How much will have to
pay for your poker debtsY'
Messing, sare. l do not gamble"
How much will l have to pay to
rebuild your CASTER
Messing, sare. 1t Is In fine repair"
"But there must be some expense for
me. Out with itr'
mo. sare; Messing. l simply love
your daughter and she loves me, and
we wish to be married. Is not Eat
enough? Is it not enough to ask you
to give me your daughter wizzout
your expecting to-
Come to my armsw exclaimed the
American father and tried to fall upon
the neck of the delighted count
But he awoke on the floor. having
tumbled from his bed as finish to his
amazing dream.-Judge.