The Newark journal., 1908-01-24
REASO MING
 TT OUT The GIrf Won, of Course, But
 Not by Argument

Not by Argument
 My, what loud one!" vspered Herbert. M
 They sat up straight and listened for mothers approaching footsteps. but not drum was heard, not a funeral note
 Gertrude put her head back on Her berts shoulder.
 Mother didn't hear" she giggled.
 Its a wonder" said Herbert. Tt sounded like an old COW pulling her foot out of a swamp
 Louder than that" said Gertrude; 'it sounded like Old Bob the hackman chirping his horse, and when old Bob chirps his horse, you know, you can hear him all over town"
 Yes; l know" said Herbert, but even so, he doesn't chirp his horse as loud as COW pulls her foot out of swamp"
 I'd like to know why not!"
 Tt stands to reason. Of course, Old Bob makes a loud noise when he
 
 but when an old COW pulls her foot out of 8 swamp 1t just naturally stands to reason that she can make moro noise than ever Old Bob oould!"
 No, Herbert"
 Yes. Gertrude"
 No, Herbert"
 Yes. Gertrude.'' No"
 "Yes."
 No"
 "Yes." n
 Herbert Knight, just want you to understand that you don't necessarily know it all, even If you have been to college, and I just want to tell you again that if Old Bob was chirping his horse at the same time that the old COW was pulling her foot out of the swamp, why, you just wouldn't be able to hear the old cow-that's all!"
 But, my dear girl"
 Don't you call me your dear girl" But, Gertrude Listeni Listen to reason. 1 love you dearly, but let the basis of our love be reason! That is the only enduring lovei Now, when Old Bob chirps his horse. how does he make the sound. With his lips? Very we'll, now let us say that Old Bob's mouth is three inches wide Let us even say it is four, and that when he chirps he presses his lips together until the surface of contact is four inches by one inch-a total of four square inches. Now, on the other hand, here's the cow"
 T just don't care! When Old Bob chirps his horse-''
 Just one moment, please Now here's the COW and we'll say that her hoof is three inches in diameter or, say, nine inches in circumference Let us also say that it is three inches high, so when her foot is in the swamp there is a total contact surface of 27 square inches as against Old Bob's four
 That makes no difference. When Old Bob chirps his horse you can"
 Of course it makes a difference And when you take into consideration the fact that the COW has so much more strength than Bob, and that her foot is of such shape that it lends it. self most peculiarly and particularly to the production of loud, chirping sound, why, then, my dear"
 Don't you call me your dear!"
 But, Gertrude, your stand is so ridiculous!"
 She looked at him with a face like ice
 For the last time," she coldly cried q say that 1t sounded like Old Bob when he chirps his horse."
 He gazed back at her like man who is being sorely tried, but who will die for his convictions.
 And 1 say he as coldly answered. that it sounded like an old COW pull ing her foot out of a swamp"
 T warn you now!" she cautioned | him. and with the air of one who fires a last shot over an enemy's bow she exclaimed: "Old Bob!"
 q cannot help it!" he decisively an. swered, and with the aspect of a man mailing his colors to the mast he clenched his teeth and returned: "Old cowi"
 "Old Bob!' she cried.
 "Old cow!" he firmly responded