Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1908-09-18

4D@z'glz

Ie-Id g TO the END OF the WOElO
for you. She-You won't have to 60
that far, I'n here.-The Sphinx.
Bridget, wasn't that policeman max
Ing love to You in the kitchen, last
nisht?" "He thot he was, num-
Life.
Passenger-How do you feel. my
good man, when the giant wave comes
tumbling over the ship? Old Salt
Wet, maam-werry wet!
Pa-Sometimes l get discouraged
nbout Willie. Ma-What's the matter
nowI Fa-Here he is, II years old,
and he can't throw an outcurve yet
Newark News.
Have you ever been cross-examined
before!' inquired a barrister Of a wit
ness who was occupying his attention.
Have I! exclaimed the man. Didn't
Just tell you 1 am marriedY
Bacon-There's n thing I can't
understand. Egbert-Tell 1t to me.
Bacon-When a couple get married, 1t
Is aid they become one. But, again,
they say it takes two to make a quar-
rel.
Teacher Ito new pupil) "What's
your name?" New Pupil: "T-t-tommy
T-t-tinker." Teacher-"And do you
stutter all the time, Tommy" New
Pupil-"N-n-no, m-ma'am; o-only when
l t-t-talk."
Mrs. Uptown trust that we shall
get along very nicely. Nora. I am not
at all difficult to suit. Nora (the new
maid)-No, ma'am; that's what I
thought the blessed minute I set eyes
on the master.
"How 10 you account for Casey's
wonderful success as a policeman?'
'"The fact that he used to work in the
ditch" How does that account for
IT." 1T made him proficient In the art
of throwing mud"
Mr.. Bunsby-If that young mans
coming here to see you every day in the
week, you had better give him a hint
to come after supper. Miss Bunsby-
I don't think it's necessary, pa. That's
what he comes after.
An editor Is reported by Lippincott's
as saying-when asked or what he bas-
ed his assertion that his small boy was
cut out for an editor-"Why, every
thing he gets his hands on he runs and
throws into the w~aste-basket."
Mr.. Batch-I have my doubts about
this idea that the more you give away
the more o have. Mr.. Phamleigh-
No question at all about it. I gave
away my daughter two months ago,
and now she's returned to me with her
husband.
Farmer-I'm a-goin' to drive to town
some day next week. Marthy. His
Wife-You can't Hiram. I wuz Just
lookin' over the skedool of auto races
an there amt al open date for boss.
drivin' on the roads for the next ten
days-Puck.
When little Hiss Helen learned that
moving day was near she asked for a
trunk in which to pack her belongings.
But what have you to pack?" asked
her aunt. "Why," replied the child in
surprise, my Teddy bear and other
useful things"
A woman on the train asked the con
ductor how long the cars stopped at
the station. He replied: Madam, we
stop just four minutes. from two to
two to two two" The woman turned
to her companion and said: II wonder
II he thinks he's the whistle IN the
engine"
II didn't know your mother was
dangerously ILL.," said the observant
neighbor. 'Why. she isn't" replied the
dainty daughter. what made you
think that?" II saw you washing the
dishes this morning" And is it any
wonder that they never speak as they
pass by?-Detroit Free Press.
The class was discussing animals
how they walked, got up. etc. After
she explained the cows method Of ris
ing to her feet, the teacher asked:
"Do you know any other animal that
gets up like a cow" Silence reigned
for a moment. then one little girl tim.
idly raised her hand. What IL it?"
asked the teacher. "A calf" was the
whispered reply.
In a Glasgow car was an aged Irish.
man who held a pipe in his mouth.
The conductor told him he could not
smoke, but he paid no heed. Presently
the guard came into the car, and said
with a show Of Irritation, Didn't I
tell you You could not smoke In this
carp well, Dim not smoking
eYon've got q pipe In your mouth
$50 OF have me feet in me boots,s 70 |
nitnd Pat ahnt Dim not walkinr0