The Washington herald., 1908-01-26

What You slipped and fell down.
Now, Job. I might have known that
you'd find some w9v to turn this-the
only little bit Of winter we've had, to
good account ] suppose if ! asked sou
where you'd been that you come home
at this time of night you'd tell me
that you'd been shoyeling snow, or
cleaning sidewalks, or something like
that, and all the time I know that
you've been playing bridge or seven-up
down at your club. and never giving
thought to poor me. who's been mend
ing clothes all day SOS the children
could go to Sunday school tomorrow.
! don't know whether little Haley'H
be able to 90 or not; we had fried her
ring for dinner and the poor boy got
bone stuck in his throat / tried 10 FISH
it out and / hurt him, and he bit my
finger. ! only hope / won't have hydro
ph0bia. You see the risks / have 10 run
while you're not at home.
And so you've going 70 bed. are you?
Just like you, old sleepy-head. And
here I've been waiting for you 20 come
home so that I can get some information
about the affairs Of the week I thought
you'd come home fun Of brilliant ideas,
seeing that George Ade's IN town 10
attend the Gridiron Club dinner, but
I don't suppose you'd ever meet him
you never seem to meet anybody worth
while.
Isn't It terrible the storms we've
been having on the coast: we've only
had the tail-end Of 'em, and that's been
bad enough! I'm awful glad the feet
got away from Brazil or Chile OF wher-
ever IL was before the storms happen
ed. 7 guess. though. we're not going 10
have any war with Japan. II seems
TO me I'm these days that nations don't
fight with guns. but with pocketboOks
and from all I hear JapaH's pocketb0ok
looks as if an elephant had stepped on
If. But speaking about stoTms-Of
course. this is the first real touch Of
winter we've had. and did you notice
that the sidewalks in front Of most
private residences are ali cleaned of,
and in front Of the government build
ings there's so much snow and ice that
you hardly dare TO walk Seems TO
me that the government does not want
its employees % work too hard Why,
even the pavement in front Of the White
House is so slippery with ice that It's
dangerous. I was going to market this
morning and I slipped right in front Of
the Presidents front door. ana l fell
down so hard that I thought I'd broken
my-Weu, anyway, I ripped my new
b0mbazine skirt. and I've only had it
eleven months ! think the government
ought to be sued.
Say, Job, did you know that people
celebrated the birthday Of Robert Burns
last week. Burns, ! said; the Scotch
poet who used to drink and wrote
things about the mice he saw. He's
the man whose dialect is copied by
James Whitcomb Riley, and Nesbit, and
others. He wrote a poem. called "The
Lodgers Saturday Night" Oh. he was
a great poet-if you could only under
stand him. BY the way. speaking about
literature, I see that Mr. Carnegie has
started contributing again. He's just
given two hundred thousand dollars 10
something or another. I wish he knew
how poor We were he might give some
thing to us. I'll bet he dies rich after
all II he doesn't hurry up
I'm glad Of one thing and that is the
Woman's Temperance Union protest
against the Fairbanks cocktails seems
to have borne good fruit. I see that
Or. Wiley. the poor food expert, gave
a dinner to lot of Congressman. and
the strongest stuff he served was cider
Cider won't hurt anybody IL they drink
1t iu reason. though do remember
that your brother Ely drank so much Of
il one time on the farm that he got a
terrible stomaChaChe. and We had 10
send 10 town for over half pint Of
whisky TO give him as q cure. Do you
remember. after that day how often
he used TO have the stomachache?
Dear. dear. isn't il awful 70 think Of
all the evil that travels in the wake Of
civilization, Here's a poor Indian, a
civilized Indian. just been condemned TO
pay his wife alimoHy. I don't see why
We couldn't have left these children Of
nature in the native simplicity where
marriage and divorce were not. and
alimOny was unknown. To think of To.
the poor Indian. working all week. and
having to pay alimony out of his wages.
Il makes my heart bleed. I tell you.
T. s..
trouble in this world. I quite agree with
Mr.. Rockefeller who says that A man
should never lend a friend of his any
money. I suppose its Just like asking a
friend to take a drink. II can't do
him any permanent good. and only leads
him into extravagant ideas
Did you notice. Job. that Mr.. Lawson
has quit He isn't going to write any
more articles for "Anybodys," and he
says that now he's going in 10 make
money. Did you read his advertise
ment? Its evident that he wants a lot
Of money. for he's telling people 10
Buy Nevada-Utah now ! wonder
how much Of the stuff he's got to sell.
Of course he's got to pay for those big
advertisements somehow. but | reckon
if the stock was worth SO much he
wouldn't have TO advertise t.
Have you been reading the Thaw tria:
news. Job? Somehow or another its
kinder lost its flavor 10 me. It's awful
interesting though TO find out how fond
Mr.. Thaw was Of playing bridge-a