davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
BORD IS BLY,

~ IMPLIFIED spelling board is busy
- again. 1t has issued a second list
~ of words, with long and markedly
apologize explanation of reasons for
changes. We are glad that it is apollo
getic. This is saving grace. 1t IS
also a confession of weakness. The
spelling board needs saving grace. And
as we shall proceed to show conclusive
ly, the weakness which it confesses ex-
lists. The reason for it is obvious.
People who have made lifelong study
of the subject which is engaging the
dilettante attention of the amateur
spelling boarders are we'll aware of
the real cause of inconsistencies and
incongruities in spelling. They are not
aware that all of the changes sug-
gested by the amateur spelling board
are improvements. 1t would not have
been bad idea on the part of the
board if it had called into consultation
a few professional phoneticists and ety.
biologists. Melody seems to have
thought it worth while to engage the
services or the advice of men who
have occupied themselves for many
years with a problem which, if bungled,
may throw into confusion our great,
complex, derivative language of bor-
rowings and annexations from all the
world, the imperial English speech.
1t is not in chipping, clipping, per-
verting, distorting and mauling the
words of the language that simplifica-
ton of its written expression will be
achieved. Tha: way madness lies. and
looking ahead into the future we can
see despairing philologists vending in
procession to the Crazy House, and in
lucid intervals objurgating the memo
ries of the twentieth century meddlers.
There is only one spelling reform
that is rational, logical and practical.
That is the thorough and real reform
that would be accomplished by the
adoption of a standard English alpha
bet to take the place of the Latin mis-
fit with which we persist in clothing
our words. The Normans abolished the
English alphabet and attempted to
abolish English They succeeded in
replacing Saxon letters by Latin,
but they did not eradicate Saxon
words. on the contrary, every Norman
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
SHOULD URGE CONGRESS TO
ADOPT A PARCELS POST

stead of taking it out. 1t is estimated
that the revenue from such a service
would so far o"erbalance expenditures
as to wipe out the annual postal def
icit.
The farmers. shopkeepers, and all
other rural residents along free delivery
postal routes should make common
cause in pushing for this added special
postal service. They should bring their
guns to bear upon their representatives
in congress. The rural free delivery is
now burden. The rural parcels post
would turn it into a source of profit to
the government and of greatly aug
mented use to the people.
No doubt the proposed innovation will
be opposed by interested parties who
regard rural parcels post as the en-
tering wedge to a general system, but
such opposition cannot avail If the
square issue is made on its merits. 1t
would be outrageous If favoritism for
the few should prevail against the ad-
vantage to the mass in defeating
scheme of such obvious excellence
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
1T IS HUMAN TO SEEEE2K
TAXES, BUT NOT PATRIOTIC

time to enlarge on the inequity of
the corporations which dodge taxa
ton. 1t is human to shirk taxes and
1t is a vulgar error to suppose that
corporations have no souls. A cor
poration is never moro moral than the
law allows.
The purpose now is to indicate by
this illustration the defective nature
of the California revenue system
which permits corporations to avoid
payment of taxes on valuable prop
erty by moving their offices, or pre-
tending to move them, across an arbi-
trary line. The whole system of tax
ing corporations is mistaken and
largely futile. 1t is properly a state
and not county function and the
proposed amendment to the constitu
ton on taxation will put 1t where it
belongs. Further, this amendment will
substitute for the present unscientific
measure of value a tax on the gross
earnings. When that amendment is
adopted it will not be possible for cor
porations to avoid their Just share of
the tax burden by pretending to move
across a county line.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
CLEAR, CRISP AND CLEAN
RUSSIA ON TRIAL

T HE trial Of Gen. Stoessel furnishes
another example of Russia s
Il genius for The maladroit. There
are two ways of doing anything--the
right way and the wrong way. Russia
chooses the wrong way. There are
two roads--the road to ruin and the
road to prosperity. Russia chooses the
road to ruin. Pandora has not van
ished into the fourth dimension of
space. She is a subject of Russia and
she has her box with her. The peevish
little palterers that call themselves
STATESMEN" in Russia would have been
wise had they let well enough
or bad enough alone. But It
were in vain to look for wisdom
in st. Petersburg or Moscow. Wisdom
cries aloud in the streets says Solo,
mon, but her voice never penetrates
the sound proof walls of the Kremlin.
In the trial of Stoessel Russia's
weakness and shame have been dis
covered to an unsympathetic and con-
temptuous world. The pitiful story Of
the degrading, stupid and unbelievably
banal conditions which blasted and
cursed Holy Russia" has been pitt
lessly told. In the middle of the mud
die appears the little car. While
brave Stoessel, stout of heart, Teuton
ana not q Slav, discreetly courageous
man and never coward, is preparing
to die at his post, if need be, he re-
ceives a telegram from his imperial
master, from "him who must be
obeyed." 1t is brief and imperatiye:
"Stoessel! Do not push defense to ex-
tremities.''
The telegram was sent at about the
time the car was groveling from
shrine to shrine. invoking the inter-
vention of the Greek saints and APP
pealing to the eleven thousand mar
tyred virgins to melt the spinal column
Of Dali Nippon and metamorphose the
Russian trooper from a crawling mou-
jik in uniform to an upright man of
thought and action. Tyrannies don't
mold men. They sap manhood. Never
win there be a brave army in Russia
till the crawling moujik walks erect
and THINKS.
The car pestered oracles were dumb.
Not a word of encouragement came,
even from the eleven thousand mar
tyred virgins. Never in the history Of
the human race was such vast as
semblage of women, in the body or
out of it. so still and silent. At this
point the cars knees knock together.
He reaches the conclusion that heaven
itself has declared war upon him. He
orders Stoessel to sacrifice Port Ar
thur and perhaps preserve a few human
lives. Stoessel obeys deferring prob
ably to the implied characterization
rather than to the strategic wisdom
of the command. After all, was not the
car the angel of peace in Europe?
Port Arthur falls. StoessePs army is
saved. And in order to salve the
wounded national pride. which demands
a sacrifice. Stoessel is picked out for
victim! The car of Russia, not
Stoessel, should be on trial for cow
ardice. Stoessel stands at the bar of
a Russian court-martial Russia stands
at the bar of the high court Of civiliza-
tion.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
MR.. MORSE'S WATERLOO.

A MOTHER Napoleon of finance has
u been Waterford. Charles w.
A Morse was one of the first BUSH
ness men to see that by taking advan-
tage of certain conditions that existed
and by boldly breaking away from
honorable American business traditions
he could pile up a fortune by the ex-
renditure of ingenuity--not by hard
work; not at all-but by brain power.
exercised cunningly in concen-
trated endeavor to accomplish the
greatest good for Number One, the
Hon. Charles w. Morse.
By usurping the ice industry and be-
coming its sole monarch, by attempting
to solidify the various competing At
lantic coast steamship lines into one
gigantic concern that put maritime
coastwise freight carrying on a nom
competitive basis, and by distributing
his gains so discriminatory that ere
long he was in control of many banks,
found to him by the tender ties of COM
mon financial interests, Mr.. Morse
found himself in a position that might
at first sight appear to be not merely
cnviable but hardly capable Of being
improved upon. In popular phrase,
everything was coming his way. But
in the rush of favorable conditions that
seemed to be crowding upon him, he
did not discern the grisly form of
Nemesis When Morse thought he was
most secure he was least secure. That
is the way with Nemesis, as every phil
csopher, including the Master of
Christianity, has pointed out. Soul.
take thine ease. Thou hast much goods
laid up for many days" "Thou fool,
this night thy soul shall be required
of thee"
The newer theology teaches us that
when a man burdens himself with ma
terial interests. or attempts to gain the
whole world, he literally loses his own
psyche" or soul-identity, and be-
comes merely part of the interests he
has acquired. And, assuredly. that is
what Jesus said. The castigation that
Nemesis infiicts occasionally on the
kings and Napoleons of finance is
therefore for their own good, as we'll
as for the common good. The recent
panic had no doubt something to do
with Mr.. Morse's misfortunes. 1t was,
assuredly, a purgatorial panic for
some; while, let us hope, merely purga-
tive for others-the chastened and sub
dued survivors, who, realizing that the
race is not always to the swift nor the
battle to the strong, and that man pro-
poses while God disposes, will begin
to look on life as a grand and great
opportunity for developing character
by helping ones fellow men, instead of
L chance for preying on them.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

the devil gets In.
There is no reason why the respon-
sible citizen should not cast his vote,
and cast it as calmly, as nationally
and as free from partisan bias as he
votes in a directors meeting or signs
his check for hundred dollars. 1t is
a matter of business and of conscience.
But in fact 1t is not usually so. The
average voter is governed by variety
of considerations. Too often he is gov
erned not by considerations of prin-
ciples or policies, nor by the character
of men, but by prejudice, partisanship
or sheer passion. Political campaigns
as at present conducted are too largely
an appeal to such feelings. The voter
ought TO ask himself whether this cam
didate is honest and capable, whether
he fairly represents my views and does
his best to carry out my principles?
The answer to that question ought to
be decisive. This is the real democ-
racy. Once in every four years this
whole country is churned into foam
and froth by political excitement.
Which of two rival candidates shall
be president and which of two rival
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

Mrs. NJ. j. Foster has taken upon
herself to prove that domestic serv-
ants are incompetent, and that a dol
lar a day is too much pay for house.
work. She proposes to do homework
in order to prove her assertions. She
seems to have prepared a paradox for
herself. If she should fail to perform
homework to the satisfaction of ex-
perts, she will surely prove that in
one case at least a domestic servant
is incompetent! And she believes that
if she does homework to the salts
faction of experts, she will have proved
that domestic servants are incompe-
tent! Mrs. Foster will be a sadder
and I wiser woman by and by
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
PRESIDENTIAL PERSECUTION
OF POOR OLD ROCKEFELLER

not have been spread so widely-if
thinly-if. Ohio and other states, and
the heather in Darkest Africa might
Sill be hlinkins in their blindness with
out either kerosene or full-length bap-
tism.
If a nice, p.ous, old gentleman like
Mr.. Rockefeller is to be prosecuted in
this way. what encouragement is there
for poor boys 10 save their money and
build up big business for the greater
glory of God?
We coll this free country. and yet
the president will not even let a cor
poration take little rebate for giving
oll it's business to a railroadl
Surely there is need of a change. The
wheels of prosperity will not revolve
freely until some safe and sane man
succeeds the incendiary Roosevelt in
the White House and let's things take
their course in the business world with
out meddlesome interference
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
PRESIDENTIAL ELECTIONS
ARE POLITICAL REVEALS

parties shall have control of the gov
burning question. 1t has the monopoly
of interest. All other interests, indus
trial, commercial, educational, even re-
ligious, must give way and leave a
clear track for this absorbing interest.
Everybody, from the president down to
the man who plows in the field or digs
in the street. shares in the prevailing
excitement. All public journals, politi-
cal, literary and religious, are colored
by this prevailing excitement. 1t some
times seems that the whole country has
gone into frenzy and hysteria.
And yet, with all it's drawbacks such
general excitement has its immense
advantages. Christianity now and then
needs a shaking up and revival, lest 1t
fall into apathy and deafness. So of
the country.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

A street naming plan will be adopt
ed for the south and southwest resi-
dence districts of Los Angeles. For
this proposed relief, much thanks. Let
US now hope that the numbering will
not be left unregenerate and unre-
formed. At present it is depraved.
The distance from house to house is
sometimes measured by a lapse of fifty
numbers. This extra handicap on
night lingerers with latch keys is
cruel
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

TO avoid the assessment OF their fran
chises, the theory being that the as
SCISSORS of other counties will be more
lenient than the Los Angeles official.
We have had precisely the same trou-
BILE in San Francisco and Alameda
counties. Indeed, the practice of as
sessing corporation franchises was
first instituted by Assessor Dodge of
this city and his example was fol-
lowed by the late Assessor Ward of
Los Angeles and to a less extent by
Assessor Dalton of Alameda county,
says the San Francisco Call
In Los Angeles the controversy has
become quite angry. One side de-
nounces the corporations for Sinking
their taxes and the other condemns
the assessor because he hurts bust
ness by driving the corporations to
other headquarters. The alignment of
the combatants is familiar and sug-
gestive. 1t is not our purpose at this
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

Chinese Minister WI will no doubt
be edited to learn that part of his
entertainment in the United States was
a deliberate jolly-up by a wealthy syn
dicato that is now being sued by the
chief jollier. Thurlow Weed Barnes, be-
cause he didn't get what he believes
to be his fair share Of the concessions
that were champagned and cajoled out
OF WI. What a high opinion of the
United States WI will hold henceforth.
UGHl
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
AstonlshIna Indeed!

One of the eloquent poetical writers
who report the costumes and etiquette at
Washington penned this in his, or her,
account of presidential reception:
Mrs. X wore nothing in the way of
dress that was remarkable" The Slip
shod English was handsomely corrected
by the pedantic but unhumorous printer,
thus Mrs. Y wore nothing in the way
of a dress. shat was remarkable. -
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
conceaIIng Something

A New Jersey man wore a beard
forty years until the other day it was
caught in a piece of machinery when,
zing! he was clean shaven as ira.
gedian. When he reached home his
wife tainted. He probably knew his
business when he wore those whlskers.
There may be men in Los Angeles who
are in the same boat.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
Lucky for Bah

The boy who was bitten by a baboon
soon recovered. That was because he
was very good boy, and a very nice
boy. Now, If he had been one kind
of a boy that we meet now and then
thank goodness, not often-we might
reasonably have entertained fears for
the health OF the baboon.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
May Be Minus

l'eck---Dr Casey Wood of Chicago
declares he can tell how much Intellect
a man has by looking into his eyes. 2
Beck-rll bet, all the same. when he
sees the eyes behind a pair of auto
mobile goggles he doesn't take any
chances. but scoots for safety.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
Poets EIan Rreadwaoon

Away back east they are consoling
themselves for the general cussedness
of things by bringing forth the. old,
old chestnuts about the snow, the
snow, the beautiful snow. Well, 1t
would be a pity ic they had not learned
by this time to make the best Of it.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
Thanksl

General Booth admits that even re-
porters have chance of reaching
heaven, though he says it will be a
pretty tough job for some of them.
Doubtless those who will find it tough
are the unhappy ones who have not re-
ported the general correctly
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
What It's Coming To

st. Peter-No, sonny Merely to as
sert that you have led a blameless life
won't go. We must have something
specific.
Applicant-I-I-I never wrote a novel.
st. Peter-Pass right inl Hey. there!
Wings and harp for one, please!
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

No more Japs need apply at the
Riverside orange groves during the
picking season. Will the Japs find in
this another grievance or possible
casus belli?
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
His SpIflication

A Chicago man wants to have a law
passed compelling women shoppers to
go home early in order that working
people may have a better chance to
breathe on the cars during the rush
hours. By the time the women get
after him fairly it will be rush hour
for him. He will have to sprint.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

bonnie bawbees that the berries would
bring him. Every day he stood be-
side the strawberry field and, in a loud
voice, thanked the Lord. But one night
there was hard frost and the follow
ing morning most of the berries were
black. The prayerful farmer stood
aghast, but only for moment, when
he gasped, "Oh Lord! 1 wadna haze
dune that to my warst enemy!"
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

II Howling Wolf OF Oklahoma real
izes his ambition to go TO congress he
will find he win have to sing low.
Picture the noble red man seeking the
speakers eye when Uncle Joe is in
The act Of sidetracking tariff reform.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

When the people of Los Angeles I'M
derstand the efficiency and economy of
a stockade i'll the solution of the city
understand any astigmatic reasons
that may be offered in excuse for neg
lecting an obvious, easy and efficient
immediate means of relief from the
Jail conditions.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

You cannot eat your cake and have
it, unless you are member of the
board of supervisors. Then you can
ride free in an automobile and also
incur an expense account.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
Hoot Mans Sorrow

Hoot Mans Sorrow
Here is a mex. story, all the way
from Bonnie Scotland, that strange lit
tie land of extravagant humor and pre-
posterous "piety": A certain farmer
was growing a ig strawberry crop
1t was making splendid progress and
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
No Hats Included

A Japanese society woman wears
1918 worth of buds and ornaments.
Who dares to say that the Japanese
are not highly civilized?
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

A Los Angeles woman has received
a special permit to keep bees within
the city limits. Well, as long as she
doesn't allow them to wander into
peoples bonnets it will be all right.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
Eavesdroppers

Peck-Well, it's true, all the same,
that politics makes strange bedfellows.
Beck-Maybe so, but what you have
to look out for is the man under the
bed.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
Try Him at Santa Anita

An Oakland greyhound Travelled 1900
miles alone. This shows intelligence
almost equal to that of an ocean grey
hound.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

A British collier is acting tender
to the American fleet. Let's hope that
she win not allow her feelings to
overcome her.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
Also the FLOWING

An endurance record has been es-
tabiished for what is called continuous
bowling. But there is only one really
continuous Bowling, and that is our
old friend tom. That song will never
die
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

CT N this season of financial dis
u Isl tress when the federal govern
hi 81 ment, already committed to
M E various schemes of eXtraordi-
I'M nary expenditure and facing
g.NEz1l dwindling revenue, is threat
ened with a heavy deficit, propositions
looking to still greater outlay, no mat
ter what may be their merits, find
small favor at the hands of congress.
All the spare cash in the treasury Will
not suffice to keep step with lingo
administration. Money that might be
advantageously expended upon inland
waterways, the establishment of a
general parcels post and other schemes
Of undeniable utility will be devoted
to other and less salutary uses, says
the Philadelphia Record.
But there are some things that can
be done and that need to be done. that
will not take money out of the treas
ury. The establishment of a parcels
post system on rural free delivery
routes, after the plan proposed by
Postmaster General Meyer. will bring
money into the federal treasury in
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

ing operations on the European lambs.
Roosevelt really ought to be ashamed
Of himself fo~ egging on his attorney
general to stir up so much turmoil and
trouble and blacken the fair fame of
the nation abroad, says the Sacramento
Evening Bee.
1t is well known that Rockefeller was
once Il poor boy, although from the
lightning he gave something to the
Lord every week out of his scanty
earnings. And for years past, out of
his reba ties and dividends, he has laid
up large store in heaven, besides CIV
ing freely to colleges on earth. Had 1t
not been for rebates the Gospel might
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07

A tourist says that showers are
preferable to zero weather. He would
rather wade than skate.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
We Nominate Jeffrles

Jim Corbett wants national pugi-
listic commission. Why not have a
secretary of pugilism in the cabinet,
as kind of domestic corollary of the
secretary of war?
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
For a Nippon Nickel

Toxic street cars are carrying pas
sengers at the rate of two for nickel.
That does not necessarily prove that
the Japs are 'two-fer" people.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
on Joy Rides !

On Joy Rides?
you cannot save what you have spent"
Go to! There's one much wiser
Who saves the Unearned Increment
The subtle supervisor!
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-02-07
Does Good Beer?

Adolphus Busch is defending the
brewing and saloon interests. An old
proverb says that Good wine needs
no Bush.'