Connecticut western news., 1908-12-24
EZRA AND M|RANDY
 0N A SHOPPING TOUR
UNCLE EZRA'S FISH SOUVENIRS

lHg TOT nag CdrpeI-lne 94o root
 stooI-PIaythings in the Cellar
 $10 Flew up the FIue.
 Deer MT. Editur:
 was never so thunderstrucked as was the other evening when Mirandy sez, "Ezry lets go to the city shop pin."
 "Shoppin'." sez I, "why we ain't no Standard Oil company Mirandy."
 Don't take so much to go shoppin' as you think for Ezry," sez Mirandy. Eve known people that would shop all day on 98 cents and have just as much fun and make the klerks just as much trubble as though they bought half there was in the store, and be just as tired out as them people what had kupboard full of Standard Oil stocks. And I want to get some of that little narrow ribbon with Holly berry and leaves on it to tie around them saugage bags and molasses candy boxes that we give to some of our naybors.
 We'll, Mirandy's' worked hard and I thought the change would do her good for day and so says I, "Weu go shop pin and we went.
 When we got to one of them big de- partment stores and stepped inside the perlitest feller you ever saw stepped up with swaller tailed coat shook hands with us and says he, 'I see you belong to the Grange also," and then Mirandy says, For pity sake, Ezry there is some hay seed in your whlskers, brush it ont. !"
 Mirandy says to the clerk, "We'd like to see some of your latest style rag carpets. ;. He bowed to the floor and says he, Madam, take the elervatoor seventh floor to the rite" And we stepped into little square room about like small clothes press or harness closet and set down to wait for the eleyatoor to come along and all of d sud den we both few up in the air and I bt : gan to feel see sick. Mirandy held on to her old carpet bag with string tied on the key and to the handle and quicker than three wiggles of a lambs tail (and that's goin' some) we was at the seventh garret and the boy what had hold of the handle opened the door and there was tine brother of the felt, T that met us down stairs, a lowing and scrap ing to meet us. Thinks I, that hay seed must stick to my wNskers yet.
 Mirandy was composed az cucum- Der and she says. Rag carpets thank ye."
 This way, madam" says he, "4th counter to the lett and thence north E degrees to center ile, clerk No. 9S3, !"
 Sez I, Mirandy what do you wait to look at rag carpets for?" "Ezry" sez she, "I want to see if they've got any thing to beet the one I'm sewing rags tor.' I've got compass on my watch chain and so I knew we wouldent get lost and helped to keep our bearings. We finally found the carpet department and they said rag carpets was in the basement eight stories underneath and they had nothing at this height but ak dominies and Smirnas and the price was two stories above.
 Mirandy looked around, sot down and put her feet on $45 foot stool and asked the clerk if he had any small samples of Brussels that she could get to mend thin spot in her carpet bag and she showed him the spot. Talk about grinning. I never saw a. feller grin so loud and not laff in my life. He said he was sorry but he hadn't.
 We got back to the elevatoor and the boy sez, "What f1oor?" And I sez, ''cel- lar," and he grinned and sed that it only run to the basement. Again felt that ''all in" feelin' az we dropped like a meeterer without stop. I never saw cellar so fixed up in all my life. And playthings! My, there was oceans of 'em. We made a few selections for some of the naybors' children what don't usually have much and they do appreciate it so. took out my old fashioned string purse and you ought to see them klerks look. Ihanded out a ten-dollar bill, cause I wanted some change and the klerk took it just as thought it had been one and wad- ded it up and suck it in a little tin cup and before I could stop her she had dropped it in a brass pipe and sez 1, "Hold on, Miss, that was a ten-dollar bill.' She replied. That's all right Uncle" Everybody calls me uncle); it'll be back in a minit.', And deklare be- fore had time to tell Mirandy that my $l0 had gone up the fue that tin cup popped out of another pipe with the right change in it. We spent $3.48 which included Mirandy's Holly ribbon.