The Democratic advocate. [volume] (Westminster, Md.) 1865-1972, 1908-04-24
Bred In the
Bone.
By James Norton.
Copyrighted. 1908. by Associated
Literary Press.
BY James NJ

married rather late In life. Each was
known to have opinions" but it was
generally agreed that they would live
happily. So they did. but their ways
were not exactly understood by their
friends. Before they had been mar
ried two weeks Martha called Ezra the
biggest fool in Saginaw county. and
Ezra called her an old cat. Neither
was the least bit angry. 1t was just
their way. and they understood each
other.
They did not dissemble and play the
hypocrite when third party was pres
ent Ezra had courted Martha for four
wears before marrying her. and she
was the only woman he had ever loved.
but this did not stand in the way Of his
saving to her in the presence Of old
Aunt Jackson. Martha, If we had a
chicken on the farm with less brains
than you've got I'd wiring its neck"
And then Martha felt in duty bound
to good naturally reply, EZRA Billings,
If didn't lead you around by string
you'd be sitting down on the hot stove
half the time"
In time it got to be known that the
couple wrangled like dog and cat,
and fifty families became more or less
interested. In time also they passed to
stronger terms and epithets. Between
themselves they didn't mean anything
by it. 1t was just q little harmless way
of his when Ezra said to Martha in
front of tin pessdler: "Say. woman,
don't smile at me and ask my opinion
about dishpans If hadn't been
watching you like hawk this morn
Ing, you'd have put paris green in my
coffee"
THAT amt the way to kill off born
fcols," replied Martha. you've got to
hit 'em with an ax as they are lying
asleep in bed"
Of course the peddler passed it along,
and of course the lightning rod and the
windmill man passed along what they
heard, and at last the neighbors woke
up each morning expecting to find that
foul murder had been done during the
might.
Mr.. and Mrs. Billings were members
OF one of the churches down in the vii.
lage. and their pastor was finally up.
pealed to- Being conservative as well
as Il good man. he thought the matter
over for time and then preached q
sermon to fit the subject. 1t was lib!
at both. and they were there to hear,
and yet when they left the church
Ezra was heard to say, Martha, if the
preacher had walloped me as he die
you Id keep nay head shut for the neEi
fourteen years.
'"Wallop met" she replied. Ezra
Billings. every single word Of that Ser.
mon WAS meant for you. and If yeu
iEeep on wrangling with me the people
viii turn out and give you a coat aGf
tar and feathers"
Then the preacher decided that it was
his duty to call at the farmhouse and
make Il ulore direct appeal. Martha
was glad to see him She said she
wass glad. She said she was in need 0i
aE@1ice and was just thinking of com
ing 20 see him. She said 1t was about
thaI fool husband Of hers.
He had taken it into his head that
the @erd was round. when every body
else i2new better. and had threatened
to &rain her with the crowbar if she
didn't laslieve as he did He wouldn't
do it. of course. Ezra was one Of the
best inel lin the world. whether it was
round or flat. and be couldn't be
brought to kill "a fly, bat she thought
he oaght ITO be wrestled with for talk
Ing taat way
But. Sister Billings. you have been
heard to threaten to poison your hus
band" protested the good man.
"Oh, boat that's just our wAyi'
And to porsr hot lead in his ear as
he slept
Yes. bat Ezre knows | wGuldn't dc
such thing. liz he was afraid of that
he wouldn't Sleep and snore the way
he does
You have tiareafened to throW him
over the curb into tsae WELL"
But if did he would climb eight
out and kiss me-
You have said that you wisheA a
cree would fall on him and that he
would he brought home dead"
Yes, but giggied when / said it.
ane when giggle don't mean what
say. As | said, should like your adj
vice. Do you think the flies ought to
Fave the same chance to live as the
eows?"
That is a rather queer question, Sis
ter Billings"
Yes but that drafted fool OF hus-
band of mine. who ought to have been
IN an idiot asylum years ago, has got
the idea in his noodlepate that they
have, and he's gone and tied up all the
cows tails SO they can no longer
switch
Il was telling the lop shouldered,
slab sided nfncompoop only an hour
ago to unite them tails or I'd break his
Eeck with the first fence rail I could
get my hands on"
"You-you talked that way to your
,husband"'
Il had to. No one knows Ezra as
TO- You've got to talk right out at him
II you want him to hump himself He
uoesn't mind it. however. Ezra never
loved hui''.'n being until l came into
MS life. anG e [ should die he'd wilt
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