Alaska sentinel., 1908-12-17
yys s@skns,HES 
NOON0OO~@@


 to sell his auto.-Puck.
 Was that you I kissed in the con. servatory last night?' About what time was it?"-Philadelphi Inquirer.
 She-Yes, whenever l see man in . dark street l always run. He-And dc you ever catch one of them m?-Harper $ Weekly.
 T didn't see you In church yester- day" "No; Willie didn't shovel a path through the Sunday papers in ime."-Puck.
 Polly-How do you like my bathing suit? Dolly-It must have been per fectly sweet before you outgrew it. Cleveland Leader.
 Barber-Hair getting thin, sir. Ever tried our hair preparation, sir? Gus tomer-No, cant blame it on that Boston Transcript.
 He-Has your fortune ever been told? She-No; but I dare say papa will tell you if you really have serious ntentions.-Sketch. You seem to manage remarkably well on your housekeeping money Yes; the storekeepers haven't sent in their bills yet."-Stray Stories.
 Mir. Phusser-Cynthia, have joined Don't Worry Club. Mrs. Phusser- I am sorry for the club. It will have to change its name.-Boston Traveller.
 "When they take woman away from the co-educational college" said the speaker, what will follow?" II will, |" cried a voice from the audience-Suc- cess.
 "Ah, I see you are married!" exclaim. ed the merchant No, sir" replied the applicant for a position. q got this scar in railroad accident. The Bo- hemian.
 Louie-Uncle, what's chagrinf Cn- cle-Well, it's what a stout man feels when he runs and jumps on car that doesn't start for half an hour.-Chicago Daily News.
 Tommy-Pop, what Is retribution! Tommy's Pop-Retribution, my son, Is something that we are sure will event ually oyertake other people.-Philadel- phia Record.
 "De real resourceful man." said Un- cle Eben, when some one hands him a lemon is ready wid de sugar and other fxin's to make it tol-lable pleasant to take" Washington Star.
 Officer, I appeal for protection. A man is following me and attempting to make love to me-" "Begorry, Dive been lookin' for an escaped lunatic. Where is he:'-Kansas City Times.
 Scott-What makes you think that the trust originated in Rhode Island! Mott-Dad used to speak of the trust in Providence as far back as when was a boy.-Boston Traveller.
 Old Gent-Here, you boy, what are you doing out here, fishing? Don't you know you ought to be at school! Small Boy-There. now! I knew I'd forgot something g.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
 Sparks-I wonder why 1t Is woman lets out everything you tell her: Parks My dear boy, woman has only two views of a secret-either 1t is not worth keeping, or 1t is too good to keep Stray Stories.
 You know Miss Strong, don't your "Qh, yes; mannish sort of girl" "Is she, really:" "Yes; she used the tele- phone today for the first time in her life, and she didn't giggle once."-Phll- adelphia Press.
 She-This dress doesn't become my complexion. I must change 1t. He More expense? I can't stand 1t; you'll ruin me. She-You silly. don't mean the dress-I mean the complexion- Chica go Journal.
 Here, Willie." cried the boys ia ther, "you mustn't behave that way. Everybody will be calling you a little glutton. Do you know what that isf' "I suppose" replied Willie, tits a big gluttons little boy"
 "I have written a book that every body ought to read" said the author. "I am afraid it won't do," answered the publisher What the public seems tc want now Is book that nobody ought to read.'-Washingto Star.
 blacksmith asked me to come to his home this evening. Says he's going to celebrate his golden wedding. Gladys Why, he's been married only three years. Jack-That's what told him. He said it seemed like fifty.
 Mrs. Henpeck (to her husband)- What would you do If were to diei Henpeck-It would drive me crazy. Mrs. H.-Would you marry again : Henpeck-I don't think would be as crazy as that.-Pioneer Press.
 How often does the trolley run past your .h3use?" asked tourist of a farmer. "waal, they run by so ire