The Washington herald., 1908-02-09
ANSWERS TO SOCIAL QUESTIONS

J. Question-it seems that the women Of the rres-
ent Cabinet return all the VISITS made uEon them in
person. To an outsider this appears 70 be most
oneroas task. is 1t necessary that they should SO
burden themselves:
AnSWer-NO, il is not necessary for the
Cabinet women or for any of the women
In official life To return all the calls made
upon them in person, for a great many
people make the rounds" as they cali
it, simply from curiosity and to pass the
time away and don't expect TO have their
visits returned. a card left by a footman
is sufficient acknowledgment Of such
calls But all visits of personal friends.
or Of ladies belonging to the official circle
and those who are looked upon as really
being in society" should be returned in
person To send cards by a footman or
by mail is an Indication that the person
sending them does not wish to continue
her acquaintance with the person to
whom they are sent.
% oue5tion-Yhst form should he used in an.
nouncing the marriage q widow if both her par
ents are dead and SIZE has near relative to whom
She desires 70 iHtUsr this fomaIty. WIDOW
Answer-Such an announcement should
read; The marriage is announced Of
Mrs. Jane Smith and Mr.. John Doe, I'm
New York City, January the tenth"
Question: was very much annoyed al a CO.
t-uou the other evening - have mY partner present
men % me before pre==nting them 20 my chaperon
which seemed % me a lack Of tact and a lack II
taste. Do you lot regard such a Procedure as the
essence Of tad breeding: VIOLET
Answcr-No; such a procedure is not
"the essence OF bad breeding" but il in
dicates lack of breeding, knowledge Of
social usages, and experience. It would
be Kindness to any one who erred in
this way to point out the fault, and ex-
plain why it is a fault. Unless the man
happened to be a cad he would take it
in good part.
4. QUestion-Can you tell me where 7 can find the
essays Henry James wrote on Washington Very
truly yours. A JA3IESITE.
Answer-These essays have probably
been published In book form. but The
Arbiter does not know the publishers
You could find out at any booksellers.
The first paper on Washington by Henry
James appeared in The North American
Review for May. 1906.
g. Questicn-If one hears the rmor Of a friends
engagement Is 1t permissible 10 ask her II 1t Is rue
J. ID.
AnsweT-Much is permitted between in
innate friends. but for q mere aCqUaint-
ance TO ask such a question would he an
impertinence.
s. Question-Do you regard it as good form AIr
Arhter for the young daughter Of a man in official
life 10 receive for her father provided she has no
moi rf IA Lfef 07rE url
some elderly relative to assist her in her social
duties. To h. quite frank with you. NY father is in
official life and J. although still in my teens. must
attend % al Of his social obligations ! find this
vary difficult for I have had neither the experience
nor training thar girls with mothers generally have
and it Is harder when l am adversely criticised,
know I often am. Thanking you for any advice you
may be able 10 give me, am very truly yours,
MISS CONGRESSMAN.
Answer-It is very unfortunate when
very young woman IS forced to take the
responsibilities Of Il household upon heC
shoulders. but it is perfectly good form
for her TO receive for her father even
though she is still in the nursery. 1t is
always WELL however. for a girl to have
a chaperon. an older woman on whom
she would be free to call and whose ad-
vice and experience would be valuable.
Too much is expected Of the young
American girl. who is often called upon
to undertake duties that are far beyond
her years knowledge, and strength. To
adversely criticise girl whom Fate has
put In the position her mother would
naturally occupy is cruel in the extreme
and would be impossible to any one know
ing the facts. Keep bravely on in the
way to which you have been appointed
and do not worry about adverse crlti-
cisms
Z. Question: know Of course. etiquette demands
that on entering house. you should FTeet the host
ess first before recognizing even any Of your other
friends that might Be present. But how Is II when
the hostess is seated at the tea table literally hened
IN by people whom you know and who stretch cut
their hands to welcome youl It is impossible often
70 wedge Jour way through the crowd. and 1t seems