davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-06-07

| forgot all about YOUR beng
so fat. You ought to try
golf It's great, l took off
ten pounds that way last
month. "
Privately he is of the opin-
ion that Jones would look
much better if twenty or
thirty pounds heavier; but
he IS toe polite to say 50.
Patiently he asserts for the
eight hundred and seventy
second time this summer that
golf does not interest him
With Jones parting words,
Be careful of yourself to-
dav," still sounding ii his
ears, he enters the building
where his office IS.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-06-07
When He Gets to His Office

T DON'T see how you stand il" is the elevator
starters greeting, with an unpleasant accent
on the you" Mr.. Smith, up on eight, was over
come by the heat yesterday and he amt near as fat
He knows Smith by sight, and has long been OF the
opinion that he does not look nearly fat Smith
but still he IS not discounted AS ne seats himself
at his desk the office boy approaches, explaining
turned that fan around 50 it would blow on you
more than on the others. guess you need 1t most
As he rnutters his unwilling thanks, the Young Boss
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-06-07

straw comes al JIlt ullI-
ner table. where his wife,
cool in her white waist
and skirt, and rested by
her siesta, eyes him in
quiringly with
4 don't see what
makes YOU 50 irritable
every evening when YOU
come home. | guess 1t
must be the heat. Since
I began getting stout
she weighs one hundred
and thirty l know how
l have felt it, and YOU
are 50 fat YOU must sui
fer awfully. You had
better stay home while
this hot weather lasts,
and let me telephone the
office that you are i'll ~
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-06-07

addresses YOU as Oar
ling II public 70 have
some small imp Of .
newsbov make . trum-
pet Of his hands and
shrek 1oyfuily
Hev. felle-s. come
an see Darling
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-06-07
[ ( | .
~

the puffy eyed, red 1osed stranger opposite You
that he ought 70 get on the water wagon: OF
course YOU don't. You would not be 50 Inpolite
Yen might hurt their feelings.
But when YOU meet . fat man. its different
Everyone recognizes him as legitimate prey He
IS q butt for Jokes. q subject for coincidence, an
object for advice Even the man thin that he
does not know whether i IS his back his stomach
thai hurts him. takes i for granted that he IS the
IA mans ideal. and insists on giving MIN advice
on how 70 reduce. Everyone irnaglnes that the
far man must be unhappy because he weighs more
than the average person
Il 5 10 be admitted that there are some disad-
vantages IN being fat They don't make neckties
long enough for eighteen and hall necks, \ fat
man that sees lot Of pretty walstcoats II shop
window never can find one big enough TO TT him
When YOU get over two hundred II little trouble
- s-oo1 down 70 lace your shoes II the morning
1t IS embarrassing when your wife thoughtlessy
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-06-07
a Hot Days Program

IF lat men had not gen
lie dispositions. The
irnper1nence Of people
each day might lead 20
murder Take any tat
man any hot day. His
wife begins II
Now. dearest. don :
work too hard today. l.
Is going 70 be very hot.
and T1u know YOU can
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-06-07

HEN YOU meet a bow legged man
II The street, do YOU stop him and
ask how Il feels TO walk that way
On being introduced to a man with
a face like an inverted comic sup
plement. do Won condole with him
on being 50 honely: Do YOU rec
ommend 70 the sallow man sitting
next You IN car a tonic for his
liver: Al luncheon do YOU hint TO
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-06-07
Fat Because He Wants to Be

THINK of the effect Of a day like that on thin
dvspeptic! He would succurnb before the week
was gone; but fat men only thrive under such
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-06-07

But he does nothing Of the kind. He has double
portion of everything there is for dinner; lots more
ice water goes over to the Wilkinsons to play
bridge: eats lot of sandwiches and ice cream at
midnight; and comes home to sleep IN dreanless
bliss the night through
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10

my travelling companion, who was
Of more cynical turn of mind, pooh
poohed this idea and said that he
knew better, l insisted that I was
from Missouri. AS we came to the
city, he introduced me to the host,
leaving out the reverend" part, and
whispered in his ear that 1 desired
"to be initiated"
after l had been carefully looked
over and deemed acceptable, we were
ushered into a side room and found
whisky in abundance, just as before,
only we had to pay double for the
prohibited Juice. Now I am not go
ing to name the town, nor will I give
our host away because a minister Is
not necessarily a detective. But you
can take my word for 1t that this is
gospel truth.
On the glorious Fourth I saw in
the self-safe town various celebrants
full OF Joy water. and am ready to be-
lieve that II you drive the devil out
Of one door, he will come in through
another"
Rev. Andreas Bard had a miracu-
lous escape from death In Portland,
when the automobile in which he and
five others were riding crashed into
a street car. The latter was knocked
off the track nine feet, and while the
automobile occupants were Jared UP
considerably, they escaped injury.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
Powder Valley Crops Short.

Owing to the unusually scanty rain
fall of the last few months, Powder
river valley is beginning to present
semi-desert like appearance. Some
of the crops are as good as they have
been in previous years, but others are
almost a failure. The farmers are
somewhat discouraged over the small
returns now promised for their years
work, yet they say this is one of the
exceptional years which can not be
avoided. They are hopeful that prices
will be large enough this fall to make
up in a small degree at least, for the
small yield.
Many of the prominent farmers re-
port that the hay crop, alfalfa, wild
hay and timothy and clover, will show
little shortage this year The aver
age tonnage per acre will be fully as
large as last year and the quality of
the hay will be good. Alfalfa is al
ready to cut and hay harvest on the
large meadows producing wild hay
will begin in a few days. 1t is ru-
mored, however, that some of the hay
meadows will not produce a good crop
because of late frosts and lack of
winter snow and spring rain.-Baker
City Herald.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
WHAT FORESTRY is DOING.
Fire Losses Reduced and Millions
Saved.

The hostility of western people
against some of the aggressions and
arrogance of the federal bureau are
well justified and should be main
tanned, says a magazine review. There
is little too much pork in the dish
of beans that is being served out and
this paper has not ben behind hand
in commenting upon the facts. And
yet, the forestry bureau has done
some good service in other directions
and it Is but just to call attention to
it. Thus in an article in the July Nc
fclure's on the forestry bureau, Will
C. Barnes tells Of the enormous saw
ing to the government by the check
ing of forest fires.
If the forest service had done no
more than keep down the fire losses,
their work would not have been in
vain. In 1901 the total area burned
over in the government forest equal
led "a acres in every thousand,
while in 1907 the burned area was
snly 9-10 of an acre in every thou
sand. No record of the money val
ue of the earlier fire losses was kept,
but that tine loss ran into millions,
no one who has seen the miles of
burned over tracts can doubt.
The following table shows the fire
losses in the national forests for the
past three years:
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10

tilla project canals to these idle lands
in future. The party will leave for
the east on No. 6 in the morning.
Indians TO See Garfield.
A large number OF the prominent
Umatllla Indians will come to the city
this evening to meet Secretary James
r. Garfield at the home Of Congress-
man Ellis. The Indians have just
been favored by visit from Commits
sioner Leupp OF the Indian depart
ment and are delighted to have the
opportunity to meet the secretary of
the department Of the interior A
number Of the prominent members OF
the tribe have visited Washington and
have met presidents and secretaries,
and to them the experience will not be
new, but to the large majority Of the
tribe 1t will be an especially delight
full event to meet one Of the most
prominent government officials.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
REV. BARD FOUND BOOZE.
walla WalIa Minister Says oregol

Walla WalIa Minister Says Oregon
DRY" Towns Are Not "Dry."
Rev. Andreas Bard, rector of st.
Paul's Episcopal church, returned
this morning from a trip to Portland,
and other oregon points, says the
Walla Walla Bulletin. He will leave
tonight for Loon lake to get his fam
lily and will then return to Walla
Walla, later going to the beach,
where he intends to erect cottage.
Rev Mr.. Bard was telling this
morning about some of the local op-
ton districts in oregon.
talk about your dry towns all you
like" he said. "Since l have seen
some of them in abstinent oregon I
have formed an idea Of my own. You
know I have ever tried to be impair
tlal and to avoid cant on either side.
/ had, therefore, assumed that, II
prohibition had once become a law,
that no liquors would be sold in the
community.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
City BreUities

Ice cream at Hohbach's.
All kinds of good dry wood. See
Minnis.
See Minnis for good, dry wood that
burns. Lots Of 1t on hand.
Dressed chickens every day. Stark
Poultry House. Phone black 3791.
See those new rugs at the Pendle-
ton Furniture Co., formerly Grahams.
Unfurnished housekeeping rooms
for rent. Enquire at East oregonian
office.
All kinds OF transfer work done
promptly Stansberry & Milne, phone
Main 8.
Just received, new line swell rugs.
Pendleton Furniture Co.. formerly
Grahams.
For Rent-Store room on Main
street In East oregonian building. APP
ply At this office.
wanted-A nurse girl not younger
than IA. Apply at lis Monroe street
or call red 2S01.
Hotel Bowman Cafe is now open.
a. m. to 10 p. m, a la carte. Straw
berries and Ice cream also served.
Facial and scalp treatment, mani
curing. electrolypsis and form devel-
opment. Madame LeRae, room s.
John Schmidt building. Phone Main
512. Ladies only.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
LIVING SKELETONS
LIVING ON BARK.
Starving Thousands In China Glad
Enough to Get Anything to Eat.

Starving Thousands In China Glad
Enough to Get Anything to Eat
In northern China people were eat
ing bark off the trees when Osborne
Middleton was there on a tour from
Shanghai. That was about a month
ago, according to letter received by
his son, o. Middleton, Jr., who is man.
ager Of the oregon Pine Export Lum-
Der company, says the Portland Jour
nal.
The country had been swept by
fearful dust storms, so that nearly
everywhere the growing crops lay
buried under four or five inches of
dust. Supplies had run low and the
people were without money. Thous-
ands managed to keep body and soul
together by peeling bark off the trees
and subsisting thereon. Some were so
badly starved that they looked more
like skeletons than living beings.
The writer says thousands will un-
doubtedly perish before anything can
be done to relieve them. Many were
on the verge of death when Mr.. Mid
dleton left Tien Tsin. about four
weeks ago. They did not sem to know
where to look for help.
Mr.. Middleton has been in China
more than 40 years and is thoroughly
acquainted with conditions there and
the people. He has visited Portland
several times during his stay in the
Orient and expects to spend a few
weeks here this fall.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
LICENSE TO DRINK.
New Plan Evolved by Brain Of WASH
ington Statesman.

"Got a license to drink"
This question will be asked of their
thirsty patrons by the barkeepers Of
the state of Washington, II the plan
suggested by e. e. Hall, a republican
politician of Spokane, Is put into exc
cution.
In order to settle the liquor prob
lem, Hall recommends that all license
restrictions be removed from the sale
Of intoxicants and that the drinkers
be made to pay license fee. Licens-
es would be issued only to temperate
and respectable adults and a heavy
penalty would be imposed upon any
one selling or giving liquor to those
not possessing permit to drink from
the state.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
Magazine Writer Here.

]. Forest Lindsay, the we'll known
magazine writer, Is in the city today
with the Garfield party and is gath
ering data for a series of articles on
the northwest states. Mr. Lindsay is
a fascinating writer and will write Of
the northwest from personal observa-
ton and personal experience and not
from heresay, as many magazine writ
ers of the day do.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
Editor Awarded Substantial Damages.

The United States Express company
last week paid to his attorneys $4,000,
the amount of damages awarded ]. B.
Kraft, city editor of the Hazelton
tPa.) Daily Standard, by the United
States court of appeals for injuries he
sustained about two years ago by
being struck in the abdomen by the
shaft of an express wagon while rid
ing on a trolley car to his home.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
Cheyenne Leader Sold.

The Cheyenne (Wyo.) Leader, the
Oldest newspaper in the state and the
leading organ Of the Wyoming De-
mocracy, has been sold to w. G. Ed
miston of Omah. Mr. Edmiston has
been with the Omaha Bee for some
time and owns cattle and ranch in
terests in eastern Wyoming.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
SEEKS TO PRESERVE
THE INDIAN MELODIES

Edgar S. Fischer Of This City En-
gagged in Work OF Gathering Up ABB
origines' Songs.
Edgar S. Fischer Of the Fischer
School of Music arrived from PEN
dleton yesterday afternoon, where he
went to consult with Commissioner
Leupp of Washington, D. :, in regard
to methods of perpetuating the Indi-
an melodies, says the Walla Walla
Bulletin. Mr.. Fischer has been for
the last two years compiling songs and
melodies of some Of the Indian tribes
for E. S. Curtis of Seattle. who Is pre-
pairing the most elaborate compendi-
um Of North American Indian history
ever undertaken.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
ADJUSTMENTS
Dime Change.

The New Dime has been attracting
good crowds with its moving pictures,
among the best being "Multnomah
Falls" which was in beautiful color
ings. Today there will be another
change, among the pictures being 81
Have Won Pig" "See the Point"
Suspicious Husband" "Workman's
Revenge" and a new illustrated song
The two Dimes will have changes to-
day, all new and interesting views.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
Pnstlme Pleases.

The Pastime will have a charge OF
pictures today, views that has not
been seen in the city before, and in
the most beautiful colorings, with
new songs. This program will con-
tinue until Sunday when there will be
another change.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
Pictures at Show Shop.

Crowds have been enjoying the mo.
ton pictures at the Show shop this
week, and the management an.
nounces another change for this af.
ternoon. All late pictures, in the
beautiful colorings, instructive and ur
to date.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
Kicked nv Horse

A man by the name of Wolf was
kicked in the face by horse and Sc
verely injured at the Wattenburger
place about nine miles from town the
fore part Of the week.-Echo Regis
ter.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10

That is, in 1905 the loss from fire
was more than three times as great
as in the year 1907, with an area Of
forests almost twice as great to pro-
tect and control.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
A Thorough Inspection.

The party made a thorough inspec-
tion of the dam and reservoir, feed
canal and lands under the Umatila
irrigation project and the most i'm
portant feature of the secretary's
visit here, is the announcement of the
date of the opening of the remainder
of the land under the project to set
tlement.
At the reception this evening Secre-
tary Garfield will deliver brief ad-
dress and will probably review the
project as he sees it and it is hoped
that before he leaves for the east a
date for the opening will be fixed.
The people of Hermiston have been
greatly interested in the visit of Sec
retary Garfield to the irrigation pro-
ject and every possible courtesy was
hsown the party today. Six double
carriages were used in bearing the
party over the project. This after
noon the Furnish ditch and the gov
ernment feed canal near Echo were
inspected and the vast idle tracts Of
rich land which can be reclaimed with
water, were looked upon by the sec
retary and 1t is the hope. of Umatllla
county that he will look with favor
upon any project to extend the Una
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-07-10
SECRETARY GARFIELD
HERE TONIGHT
Continued from page IL

Continued from page IL
ton Commercial association during
the early evening and at $40 the Ell
lis home on Lewis street will be
thrown open for a public reception in
honor of the secretary, who is a son
of the martyred president, James A,
Gorfial1
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-28
Was Wheat But Sentiment Changed
Later and Market Was Strong
Other Grains Ruled Firm.

| Chicago, Feb. 27.-4W'HEAT--Open
ed weak because Of the decline OF
more than Id in Liverpool, but senti-
ment soon changed to the bull side
and the remainder Of the session the
market showed unusual strength,
continued light primary receipts,
strong demand for cash wheat both
here and at outside markets and re-
ports telling of damage in the south.
west by the Hessian fly. The demand
was general. shorts and prominent
bulls the leading buyers. The close
showed May UP 2ss to *. No. red
9GM99A; No red 95m9SA; No. 2
hard 96M103M: No. hard $4,000
May opened IS to u; highest $685. %
" lowest 95 closing $685.. July 90A
CORNERSTONE on active demand
by shorts and commission houses.
Factors responsible for the brisk de.
mand were small receipts, large clear
ances, talk of small farm reserves and
the sharp advance in wheat May.
closed up *. No. 3, 57hm5S1a; No
9 white $50; No. yellow 1914 AGO
May opened CO.'S 0G1b; highest G2
lowest CO.'S; closing G17. July 59%
as.
OATS-Strong because of advances
in wheat and corn. Trade was light |
May closed * higher. No white 81 |
p 0531a. May opened 52%653;
highest 533s lowest 527s; closing 50
~ I,I,, 4EE11L
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-28
.COXtY HAS NEW
CURRENCY plan
GENERAL OF UNEMPLOYED ARMY
TAKES NEW TACK AGAINST
CONDITIONS - WANTS $780,.
100000 MORE CASH ISSUED.

! Washington, Feb. 27.--Chased Of
the grass of the Capitol grounds L.
years ago, when he came here at ths
head CT an army of tramps. hoboes
and others General Jacob S. Coxey
iof Massillon, Ohio. blew into the Cap.
itol Building today and was received
with open arms-by his newspaper
men. Gen. Coxey has no intention OF
organizing another army OF the unem-
lployed, but he intends to continue his
, fight for the masses.
1t is his intention to begin In the
spring an extensive tour, which viii
take him all over the United Sttaes.
Il will travel IN a private car" said
Gen Coxey. Il will take with me a
circus tent In which to hold meetings
My campaign will be one OF educa.
ton | propose to point out to the
people the defects In the present
money system start back-fire on
their representatives In congress, so
to speak Oh, no, am not partisa
an. will attack the system and not
the parties.
Gen Coxey is here ON a mission. Ha|
brought two bills. either OF which, he
declares enacted into law, would corr
rect the ills Of which so much com.
plant is made
4 want congress to pass a bill, n
said the general, authorizing a new
issue Of $3.50, 100000 In currency. This
should be at once expended in mak.l
ing public improvements. thus takingl
care OF the unemployed" Il
The second bill authorizes the sec1l
rotary Of the treasury to accept non4l
Understanding bonds of states, terriI
tories counties and municipalities as
/ basis for full legal tender notes.
such bonds to be redeemed at the rate,l
If about per cent year-this 4 perl
cent to apply on the principal GEM
5oxey is not hopeful of having his
bills passed at this session. 1T will
axe time" he said.
Gen. Coxey spoke fondly Of the
lrmy which he led into Washington
n the spring Of 1894
ut was organized In a good cause,
he said On reaching the Capitol
grounds our atten was directed to the
signs, Keep off the grass Then we
we're told to get. We did"
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-28
CHICAGO LIVE STOCK.

Chicago. Feb. 27.-CATTLE-Re
ceipts 1000. Steady; steers s4.25G
els: cows and heifers s2.59@5.25'
bulls s5400450; calves s5T5m725:
stockers and feeders $2750490.
Receipts $4,000 Steady and
firm; choice heavy shipping and
butchers $i.3564. 40: lights $4.25G7
i.95; packing s4OO@435; pigs s3.5oM
$50.
SHEEP-Receipts $4,000. Lambs
weak; sheep steady; sheep sf25@
sos; lambs $6.0OGGS5; yearlings
s5.75d6.20.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-28
Stocks = Bonds = Cereals
NO IMPROVEMENT WEAK AT OPENING
Was Shown in Conditions Of the Stock
Exchange Yesterday--VoIume Of
Trade Was Small.

New York, Feb. 27.-Conditions Ii
the stock market showed no improve
ment today and it was general com
ment that the day of small things has
arrived. An air of gloom pervaded
the stock commission house in the
financial district, the current volume
Iof business being wholly inadequate
| to provide ordinary office expenses
Dealings were not only continued al
a low stage, but the lethargy of the
price movement was more pro
Inounced. With single exception OF
one day last year, the daily business
now is less than has been done on
any one day in over three years.
There IL some Improvement in the
steel trade, which leads to hope of re-
employment of labor in the trade.
Reported increase in the rolling ca.
pacity of the United States steel
corporation was regarded as of cheer.
ing import. Stocks of the corpor.
alton were as little affected by this
favorable news as they have been by
unfavorable happenings 1t is held as
the belief in the financial district
that the support of these securities
is an integral part of the policy Of
forces behind the steel corporation,
which includes alo the maintenance
Ct stable prices for the product, in at
to restore general conf
dence in conditions of affairs at large
Coppers were more responsive to IA
yoable reports regarding that indus
try. Appointment OF a receiver for a
Gould railroad in Texas
had come depressing effect on senti-
nent, Notwithstanding vigorous asser
ions Of purely local causes of the in
,ldent, having to do with Texas legis |
aticn. There was an impression in |
he stock market that chances were |
for the enactment of cur |
'ency measure at Washington, and |
his was of some effect in sustain |
ng stocks Some money rates here |
or longer periods We're higher. Slight |
in the stock market were |
lot held with any consistency.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-28
NIGHT RIDERS AGAIN
VISIT HoPklNSpiLLE, KY

Hopkinsville, KY, Feb. 27.-Night
riders early today fred into the resi-
1ence of Bruce Gregory. farmer re
siding west of here. The barn wa
burned to the ground. Gregory with
his wife and baHy. barely escaped
with their lives. The riders shot into
the house and the occupants crawled
under beds to escap- death. Mrs
Gregory telephoned an alarm to the
city Notwithstanding the fact that she
was fired on as she stood at the tele
phone. The militia is pursuing the
riders. The house was reduced TO
ashes.