Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1908-03-05
GanderbOne's March Forecast.

The foes of Bryan will hide out
Behind the parapet;
And when he sees them lurking there,
He'll guess their fell intent
And run just like his friends all hope
He'll run for President
The candidates Republican will pass
the stand again, and the portly form
of Mr. Taft will show a handsome
gain; the whiskerlets of Mr. Hughes
will float upon the breeze, the fleet
that sailed Magellan's Straits will
cruise the western seas; the infant
boom of Cortelyou will grimly yield
the ghost, and the feet will run the
banquets on the other Latin coast.
Another lot of foreign counts, and
busted sports and old, will come across
to marry more of our dead easy gold;
a count will marry million COOL and
a discount two or three, and gold and
girl land horse laugh loud they'll all
put out to sea- and while the Goulds
give Boni one-just one-more chance,
alack, we'll all steal off and kick our
selves quite low down on the back
The country papers will get used
To Uncle Sans mandate,
That they may not hold readers who
Are not paid up to date;
But the Government will not assist
At squaring things, somehow,
With old subscribers made so mad
They never will pay now.
March was the first month of the
Roman year and was named from
Mars, the god of war. Mars looked
like a twin brother to Richard P.
Hobson, and he was the regular Rom
an delegate to the Peace Conference at
The Hague. He was supposed to be
the father of Romulus, the founder of
Rome, but he was not, he was only the
young mans godfather In ancient
warfare it was customary to place a
good bronze bust of Mars on the field
and then fight for it.
The comedy of life will be about
what it has been--the men will labor
day and night and the wives of men
will spin. They'll have club for ev-
cry day, and never cease to go; they II
learn to talk of many themes their
| husbands do not know; they'll hear a
| lecturer from Greece another on Jap
an, another on the Renaissance, and
several TN man; they Il hire a lot of
long-haired freaks to make them cru
dite, they'll work on papers every
morn and look up things at night; and
their husbands will get supper colo
and suffer ridicule-and the children
will grow up like wolves while Nam.
ma goes to school.
The money indiscreetly loaned
Will faithfully keep Lent
And lady teacher will sit on
The pin when it is bent;
But when the principal responds
To screams heard through the house
She'll not tell him what happened, bu
Will say she saw mouse.
Until the 21st March will be unde
the influences of the zodiacal sigl
known as Pisces the Fish. Pisces will
induce his relative, Stuyvesant Fish
: to take the Illinois Central fight int
the u. S. Supreme Court, where E
H. Hartman will be ditched with tw
bum lamps, derailed backbone, an,
"a cwift lyiok IN tba nahpoSo
After the 2tst, March will be unde
the influence of Aries, the sign of tn
Head. Under this sign, old heads wi
come to the front in the presidents
race, and Uncle Joe Cannon will com
out of last place and make the Presi
dent put two more burrs in the spaC
ious bosom of Mr.. Taft's pants
Persons born under Pisces drink lik
a fish and vote wet They make e1
cellent subordinates, like Friday an
Loeb. They can say no, and it is fl
tile to expose them to any more lii
insurance, for they won't take i
They are very cautious and alway
take seats near the fire escape.
Persons born under Aries alway
! think before speaking and then nevt
say anything. They are good organi;
ers and generally belong to the Ant
Saloon League. They make good Law
yers and generally get the case contil
/ ned until they can elect the prosecu
ing attorney.
The Vernal Equinox will come,
And the Irish will parade:
The booming bull frog willresume
His music in the glade.
The mole will burrow in the lawn,
And the rash duck hunter toot
/ His caller while pneumonia drills
A leak hole in his boot.
And then the gentle spring will con
and the poet will essay, with swelliI
breast and bliss, his bum and Muse a
tended lay; the rooster will annOun
the dawn, and the hen will scratch ii
dirt, and everybody will put on thi
ner undershirt. The sassafras W
brew again to tone the system ran
and the washout will upset the ira
and throw it down the bank; the ga
der and the goose will moult. {
meadow will be wet, and the spril
intoxicated colt will turn a summt
set. The house will be cleaned
again, the robbins come in droves, al
q husbands will eat bread and cheese I