Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-07-08
J.3I'sIi|s|S

uov0 y0u Hedu my last e0lt0rlal1 ~
hope 30" was the crusty reply. Mime.
haha.
The Indignant one-The idea Of IN
a-telling me 'ow children ought to BE-
fedl Why, I've buried ten O my owni
The Taller.
Boy sixpen'orth o, cod liver OH,
please, sir. An. say, don't give me
TOO much, COS It's me what's got to
drink it.-Punch.
smawley Do you believe that money
talksf Ardupp You bet I do. no
sooner get my hands on dollar than
It says "Good-by."
Pat-Are ye engaged to Mike Doolsyi
Biddy-Faith. an I'm not. Are 70
after wantin' met Pat-Not unless I
can't git ye.-Peola Advocate.
Dlck-Money doesn't always bring
happiness and peace of mind" Bob
(anxiously) You are right; some.
times 1t tempts you to buy automobiles.
biles.
Vistor-Well, Carrie, what do you
think Of your new baby brother7 Car.
rie {aged four -Oh, don't think
much Of him. Why, he can't even speak
English yet.
Did you say the prisoner hit the
plaintih between the court house and
the postoface?' '.No. I didn't. said
he hit him between the eyes."-Balti-
more American.
Nell-She admits that she is terribly
disappointed In her husband. Belle
How Is that? Nell--She married him
to reform him. and now she finds he
doesn't need philadelphia Record.
my hair is falling out" admitted
the timid man in a drug store. Can
you recommend something to keep It
'inT Certainly" replied the obliging
clerk. Get a box."-Lippincott's Mag
axine.
Teacher-You have named all domes-
tic animals save one. 1t has bristly
hair, It Is grimy, likes dirt, and IL
fond Of mud. Well, TOMB Tom
(shamefacedly That's me.-Chicago
Tribune:
.Do you know that your chickens
come over into my garden7" II
thought they must be doing that"
why did you think So" Because
they never come back."-C Cleveland
Leader.
"You should never take anything
that doesn't agree with you," the ply
sician told Mr.. Marks. III had al
ways followed that rule, Marie" he
remarked to his wife, where would
you be?"
Ascum-How on earth did you ever
get a messenger boy to deliver your
note and bring back the answer 50
qulck7 Wise-I took his dime novel
away from him and held 1t as security.
Press.
The teacher was telling Of the eff
fects Of cigarette smoking on the heart.
and added. People with weak hearts
often die" A deeply interested boy
asked here: How often do they have
to die before they stay. deadf''
Mrs. Jones Good gracious, Mrs.
Brown. why is your husband going
through oil those strange actions7 10
he training for a prize-ight7 Mrs
Brown-Not at all; he's merely getting
in form to beat the carpets. Harpers
Weekly.
New Clerk notice some Of these
barrels Of apples are marked x and
some q. Are they different kindsi
Dealer-No; same kind, but differently
packed. Some customers want a bar
rel opened at the bottom and some at
the top.
Wife-I'm actually ashamed to 60
to church with this old hat on. It isn't
up-to-date at all. Husbands the
cook going to church this morningl
wife-No; think not. Husband
Then why not borrow hers7 -Phila-
idelphla Inquirer.
Miss Rattle Yes. that's a photo Of
my maiden aunt. Perhaps you saw
her name in the papers last winteri
She frightened away burglar. Mira
Winkler CLOSELY inspecting the por-:
trait Did she7 Well, don't won.
der at it.-Cleyeland Plain Dealer.
Mr.. Justcott-w Why, what are you
crying about, dear? Mrs. Justcott-
oh, George! mice have got into the
pantry and eaten up beautiful GUS
tard pie 1 made myself! Mr.. Justcott
There, there! Don't cry over few
little mice!-western Christian Advo-
cate.
But" cried Miss Woody, Indis-
nantly, "since declare to you that
the Joke is original with me, isn't 1t
impudent Of you to doubt it," mot
at ALL" replied Mr.. Chesterfield; II
should be still more impudent and UNI
gallant to believe you that old. "-Phil-
adelphia Press.
physical culture, father, is perfect
ly lovely. To develop-the arms grasp
this rod by one end and move 1t slow
ly from right to left" "Well, WE'LL"
exclaimed her father, what won't
science discover? If that rod had
straw at the other end you'd be sweep
ing."-Louisvillc Courier-journal.
Rain In Wartime.
The late General Joseph Wheeler.
told this story as illustrating the firm
belief which prevailed In Tennessee
during wartime US to the efficacy of
prayer.
There had been summer religious
meeting In one Of the rural districts.
No rain, 1t seems, had fallen In long
time; everything was about burned up.
Consequently. the preacher concluded
his prayer with this appeal for rain:
"Oh. Lord. we need refreshing
showerl Be pleased to send US the
blessed rain. so that the dropping vege.
tation may be revived oh, Lord, none
of those light, drlzzly rains. but reg
ular ground soaker! A heavy rain, oh
Lord! But not heavy enough, good
Lord. to raise the Cumberland River.