davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Humor
WERE DEATH ON CORN.
The Doc eivss q Little Lesson In
Natural History.

The Doc Gives q Little Lesson In
Natural History.
ssThere used to be an eccentric old
character In our neighborhood," said
a paanter from one Of the upper par
tsheS. Hwho went by the name Of Doc
Johnson. He had never been foctT
miles from the settlement in his life
ana was barely able 10 read and write,
but he was naturally a sort Of Jack Of
IN trades, and somehow or other he
acquired q tremendous reputation for
SaRaeity.
~WheneVer an argument arose among
ne country folks Doc johnson was
pretty certain to be called In to decide
Il, and as he would rather have died
than to have admitted ignorance on
my subject some Of his statements of
fact were amazing In the extreme.
zone day a farmer IN the vicihity
Ssceaved letter from his son, who had
moved up to Iowa, saying, among oth-
q things, that the corn crop was look
NJ bad and the country was being
SFsrrun BY immigrants. The last word
Stumped the old man, and after puz-
sing In vain over its meaning he hap
pened TO see Doc and called him IL.
Johnson knew from the peculiar
warmth Of his greeting that he was
eoang 70 be asked to solve some knotty
problem and at once assumed the
W1sest air.
"Doc,' said the farmer, pointing to
he mysterious passage In the letter,
what In thunder does that boy mean
~ immigrants? What air they Hike,
Nzyhowr
SJohnson spelled through the para
graph and, noting the reference to the
nd corn crop, began rapidly to put
two and two together.
TmmygrantsF he exclaimed to
gain time. Why, thought everybody
moved what they wesF
":Air they crittersr asked the farm
q cautiously
They is replied the Doc, a kind
Of q cross between a possum and a
econ, and I'll tell you what he added
tmpressively-'they're Jest simply death
oa corn.'"-New Orleans Times-Deno-
eat
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Old Fashioned.


What has become Of the old fash
toned people who wore red flannel IN.
derWear7
What has become Of the old fash
'toned man who was referred to as a
good old soul?
What has become Of the old fash
ioned woman who referred TO her
Clothes Is ''dudsT
What has become Of the old FASH
lnned town family that bought q
dressed hog every Einter7
What has become Of the old fAsh-
amed nan who before leaving home
on q journey made arrangements with
Q neighbOr to f,ssist his wife In putting
q nsw baekloefin ths frsplaesHAtehl-
son Globe,
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Industrial Items.

Europeans expect slump In auto
mobile prices and a crisis in the In
dustry this year.
A Nottingham England miner has
patented a safety pit cage which is
said to De a great advance on all 9TH
ers.
Women have obtained many posi-
lions under the New York city gov
eminent as the result Of competitive
examinations.
A new ice machine has been invent
Cd at Grasse, France. 1t requires nei-
ther steam nor fuel, and It saves 96
per cent Of cooling water and 20 per
cent Of motive power as compared with
any other freezing system known. The
smaller models may be worked by
hand
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Industrial items.

Ck1ada has begun to make tin plate.
The demand for aluminium SIN ex-
eseds the supply.
Prussia's zinc mines produce half the
41ne Of the world.
A plant WIN be established at Nh
Waukee,. Wis, to make gas from old
s6aN. eorneobs. cornstalks, etc.
Germany takes the credit for having
De largest trades union In the world.
u ID composed Of metal workers and
has membership Of $4,000, Q large
proportion Of whom are women.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
A 0iMcult Trick.

When the new trolley line first ran
through the little town 1t was regarded
with mingled pride, admiration and
tear, for many Of the townsfolk stood
n awe Of the mysterious powers Of the
electric current.
would I get a shock IL put my
fcot on that railT' queried a nervous
old lady after lowering on one side Of
the road. not quite daring to attempt
he dangerous crossing.
NO. madam" answered the polite
conductor, mot unless you put your
other foot on the trolley wire."-wo-
mans Home Companion.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Only Human,

Harvey-You should have seen Hot.
4yre swell up at that mind reading
seance the other night when the blind.
folded Lady actually told him the mum
Der Of his automobile.
Beattie-But he has no auto.
HarVey-Of course not. But he look
Cd astounded and acknowledged she
was right-Puck.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Prejudice.

FreJudIce.
Robert, this spelling paper Il very
poor" complained the small boys
teacher. Nearly every word Is mark
ed wrong"
1T wouldn't have been so bad" pro-
tested Robert "but Annie corrected
my paper, and she's mad at me, and
for every little letter that 1 got wrong
abe crossed out the whole word"-LAp-
nincott'a
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Another Argument.

"What do you regard as the most i'm
portant thing in favor of the theory
that Mars is inhabitedT" .
'The fact" answered the popular
scientist, ''that an article assuming
that side Of the question can be made
three times as readable as one taking
the opposite view."-Washington Star.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Pith and Point.

ItsOunds dOubsy bad when q smiling
nan b profane.
II you get along, you must q well
to1ay; you can't always Be waiting m
q tomorroW.
Aftsr q man Is naAs q mi.take
GAA ben found S1t AsW - 6aos Ing
1R t1ns - ~
WhsnsVsr yoa gfVa anoEAR esnsw
- bsst - 4 w1Asgt - Sas1ng you
anything ys1 ksSo naAs Q - -
vestmsak-Atehlssa o,S1A
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
A Costly Fall.

~She appears to have fallen in love
with him"
''oh, yes, some time ago. But now
she's suing him for breach of prom.
ise."
Counting upon getting damages fol-
the fall, eh?'-Philadelphi Press.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21

have even understood electricity, as
wires corresponding to our own teIe-
graph wires have been found In
Egypt"
THAT may be-" answered Pat, but
the fact that no wires have been found
In Ireland proves beyond q doubt that
the Irish were In the habit Of using
wireless telegraphy." Philadelphia
Ledger.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Polite Amenities-

He Qrusquelyl-I cannot understand
Why 50 many foolish women are so
fond Of dogs.
She t(sweetly)-Nor I that so many
foolish women stick 50 to curs-Balti-
more American.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Accountn Enr L.

Ths star actress In the play was q
discovery by the manager. Hs found
AsR working In laundry"
That accounts for Il"
Accounts for whatr'
The way she mangles her part
Baltimore American.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
The Simple THINGS.

Miss Gowitt surprised me by say
ing that she had tired Of society and
now likes the simple things best"
Eyes. Didn't you know she's going
with Charley ChumpleyT-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
For Her Hearers

Don't you think my daughter sang
with great feeling at the musicale
hast night?"
Yes. 1 noticed that she sang only
two Of the four verses Of the song
Chicago Record-Herald.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
A Times Chance.

fotnes d getting TO be wonderfully
ntGesdnS'" said the observer.
Yea answered Senator SORGHUM.
u y mighty interesting; but bstwean
yo0 and me. 1t isn't near 30 much q an
INVESTMENT a. It used 10 be.s-WaahinR-
ton et1r.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Leland Giants Baseball and Amusement Assn.
Now organIzIng-capItaIS Stock
100000

The Stockholders
Association
Giants Club Establishing People
Amusement With Light Opera
The ChuteS Miniature Ry Electric Theate Dance
Hurley Double Swing Auto
making
1000
ze Wentworth Ave. 900
ride the Electric the Loop District in Chicago
Ball Stocks doubled
Millions made by those Who Take Stock In
This New Enterprise.
Are Owning Operating This Inn
Life
The Answer effectively subscribing for Stock this Corpora
Loyal Members
this
Public
welcome filling
Amusement Association Do to-day build
Ball Amusement Assn
Mr. Bsauregard F. MoseIey; Trsas:-
please s
sending infub subscription fee
shares of the Capital Stock Of the Leland Giants Base Ball Amusement
Association
agree pay $ month until the amount
certificate.
An payments On ssS:. 4: Name
fr. sssst sass H.s see f sasst
eheazo Illinois All stock Address
aES as en- employees and should
s %S'P ns ms sss1 Of h sn G $sr 81
t. CHy
dress 81 G. f.ns' a hfG.T sass al
Hsstsd / Chicago State
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Cash In Advance,

Fl pay as I CO." declared the pomp-
Gus citizen.
mot while I'm running these apart
ments," declared the janitor. you'll
pay as you move inst Paul Pioneer
Press.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Catching the MaYfarnr.

Cogger-The good parson told me I
should always be trying to lift up my
fellow man.
hotorwood-What did you answer7
Cogger-I told him I would put a
scoop on my automobile at the earliest
observation-disclosures News.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
After The Waddinn-

Mrs. Benham-And I am really your
wife?
Benham-WeIl, that's the under
standing had with the minister when
I paid him IS for you.-New York
Press.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
She Was Not q Rsaut,

She Was Not a Beauty.
Il don't see what excuse you had for
Kissing this woman"
Il don't, judge, now that 1 see her In
the daytime."-Town and Country.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21

sDon't you think that Miss La
Peache has complexion Ike ivoryr
sPerhaps 90, but never cared much
er painting En- fv0ry. cleveland
Elaln Dealer.
The broad ax. [volume] (Salt Lake City, Utah) 1895-19??, 1908-03-21
Wandering Philosophers.

"WOt did de lady up at de last house
~, WHlier
eDidn't say nOthin,. Just pointed at
q wood pie. an I beat it"-New Xork
World.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-01-06
Bible Society Ends Best
 Year in It's Long History

of Christ has been the battle-ground of the nations"
 In Salvation the Bible Is sufficient to tell the way to God. Though some persons question the scientific facts contained in some portions and the his- torfcal facts in others. If it but shows how a man may find the Christ It's mission has been accomplished.
 After the address the president of the society had cards distributed throughout the congregation that they might become members of the organ ization. Mrs. S. E. Washburn sang during the services: 'I Know That My Redeemer Liveth." and My Mothers Bible"
 The meeting was then closed with a benediction by Rev. W. M. Cox. pastor of the Dexter Avenue Methodist Church
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-01-06
A TRUcKER,s AssoCIATToN.
Twenty-Five Citizens of Barbour Con 5t ty Form Druausx.fsor

Twenfy-Five Citizens of Barbour Couu- ty Form 0rganfz.tfon.
 Euiaula, Jan. 5-tSpecial.) = A Truckers Association was formally or ganized here last week with an en- roiiment of twenty-five prominent cit izens.
 Rules and regulations were adopted requiring each member to engage more largely in producing truck and to aid and encourage in every way possible that class of farming especially in this section. The organization will mark comparatively. new departure in this city. and the results will be watched with much interest and anxiety. The organization starts out under hatter- ing auspices. with the following .offi- eers: ", D. Engram. president: H. J. McLeou. vice president: If. $. stewart secretary and treasurer
 The Barbour Cotton Mills, which have been shut down for the holidays will resume operations tomorrow. The Eufaula Mills. which have also been closed down for ten days or more Is undergoing some needed repairs and improvements and no intimation of when It will resume business has yet been given out.
 The firm of H. Perlman. doing a gen. eral dry goods business here has clos ed its doors and gone into bankruptcy.
 Miss Serena Brown entertained the Joi de We Club of girls at her parents home. Saturday afternoon. Bid euchre was played, and Miss Lottie Corker bore off the prize. Refreshments were served and the occasion was greatly enjoyed.
 John M Woodland family, of Hawk insvilIe, are preparing to move to the city/and will reside on Highland Ave- nue.
 Mir. and Mrs. F. M. Bush, who peside five miles west of the city. have moved on College Hill, where in future they will reside. Mrs. Bush's father. B. B. Fields. Esq. who is yet well preserved at the advanced age of 92 years. will reside with them.
 Miss Matte Butts has been quite sick at her home, and though some- what Improved. is still confined to bed
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-01-06
S15.634.O4
,sIgned( B. M. Washburm

tSigned) B. M. Washburm - President
 After the reading of the above TO- port by the president. Rev. II. M Ed monds. pastor of the First Presbyterian Church. delivered the address. Sum martiy MT. Edmonds said:
 "The Bible in History. Literature and Salvation. A subject sufficient to keep one talking for a month or two, while l have but thirty minutes" Mir. Ed monds then took up the head of litera- ture, saying that all men since the coming of Christ had referred to tho Bible in their writings. All of the wealth of illustration in nearly all of the great works of literature draw their richest illustrations from the Bi- ble. which Illustrations If withdrawn. would render them very uninterestinR reading.
 The Bible has frequently made the language of a country or section Of a country, said MT. Edmonds. some times q missionary i'll g. Into "r V" civilized country. pick up the spoken language and devise some means for writing. The Bible will be the first Book which is ever written, and from this Is formed the grammar. and idions of the language"
 Tn history the Bible has dono un' told work The ten commandments of the Old Testament are the very foundations of the law of modern countries. The whole fabric of an involved judicial system depends w@pl ly upon them. The Bible has made countries, as the formation of Ger. many. "The Bible since the coming
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-01-06
Fire af Florence !.

Florence. Jan. (Special.)--A de- structive blaze at the home of s. c. Gardner on Nellie Avenue this Amorn- ing at 10 o'clock was caused by chill dren setting fire to a Christmas tree which still stood in the parlor. The blaze spread with lightning rapidity all over the room. destroying the shades and curtains at all the windows and most of the parior furniture. Quick work by the bucket brigade succeeded in almost subduing 1t before the fire men arrived.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-01-06
LARGE CONGREGATIONS.
Revival Service. at Highland Park A

: Revival SerVIcea at HIghIRnd Fnrk At-
 trncting Attention.
 The sedvices being conducted by Rev. w. J. Ray, the evangelist. at the High land Avenue Baptist Church, are at tracting wide attention and continue to draw excellent congregations both at the morning and at the evening ser vices.
 One of the pleasing parts of the ser vices is the singing of Miss Rosa Belle Parker, of Ozark.
 The n.ee tings will continue through out the week both morning and even ing until the public Is notified by the pastor,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-01-06
wAGOA WORKS RESUME.
Florence Concern no Longef Fears F
 nnnclal StrinGency.

Florence Concern no Longer Fears Fi-
 nanciaI strinGency.
 Florence. Jan. 5.--(Special)-The Florence Wagon Works. one of the big gest misunderstanding plants in North Alabama. will open up Monday after having been closed down about two months.
 The wagon works closed during the Financial stringency on account Of the falling of in orders and all the travel ing men were called in. The full corps has again started on the road with or ders to hustle for business. As the wagon works was the only plant or in- dustry of any importance to suspend. Florence can now be said to have re- stunned normal conditions.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-01-06
Correction.

In the half page advertisement of ''Moog gs-Pensacola" in yesterdays Advertiser. there was an error in price on Bill Bailey's Best" Whiskey It should have read: 4 quarts S3.75, rather than 4 pints, as 1t appeared.
 The Advertiser Co.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-01-06

cultivation, the use of commercial fer tllizers without the addition of green or stable manures, the land will de on our hands just as surely as will an animal separated from It's food.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
A Government Journal.

The New York Tribune IS disposed to
take seriously Representative Richmond
Pearson Hobson's suggestion for the es-
tablishment Of a government journal for
the publication of information respecting
the doings Of the executive departments
Our contemporary reminds us that the
Keep Commission. in its report, proposed
the issue OF a bulletin in which the
transactions of the departments should
be recorded at first hand for the benefit
of readers desiring such information.
Such a publication, the Tribune thinks.
would meet a long-felt want among those
who desire current information about ad-
ministrative matters.
Most objectors TO a daily government
bulletin think there is no demand fer
such a publication, and that its utility
would be extremely limited. The daily
press. it is pointed out. prints all that the
public cares for of departmental trans
actions, and presents it in an attractive
form. Yet a number Of the departments
now publish daily bulletins for purposes of
their own. and it might prove that the
NbttfAA N'N VI sum q Itst'Aa'ttti'f t'' ttt
Keep Commission suggested would not be
greater than the total sum now expended
for departmental bulletins or other tenn
porary publications intended for the in
formation of the press and public. If all
official departmental matters were daily
collected into a journal. the publication
would be of undoubted and permanent
value. and It would contain many mat
ters of interest to those following the
various operations Of the government
which the newspapers pass by as of
minor consequence TO the ordinary
reader.
Mr.. Hobson's idea was that a govern
ment journal might be made Of value 70
the general public by judIcious comment
on and Interpretation Of departmental az
fairs. To undertake so much, however,
would go beyond the functions Of govern
ment bulletin, and would invite partisan
ship. We should not favor a publica-
ton of that sort. But a government
bulletin devoted strictly to the publica-
ton OF official acts. together with such
explanation as government officials might
see fit TO make over their own signatures.
would prove a useful purveyor to the
public of information which the investi-
gator must now seek in a dozen different
quarters.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

President Roosevelt squelched the
movement for a national department of
health under a Cabinet officer in a char
acteristic letter. giving some views that
are of interest. He said, in writing To
the committee OF 100 on national health:
Il believe that We could with advantage have a
Bureau OF health, to be put under one of the exist
ing departments, but need no additional Cabinet
officers On the contrary they would be at a dis
advantage. While We do most urgently need a re-
arrangement Of the bureaus and divisions Of the
present Cabinet, We also need to have every eNeC8-
tive officer Of the government pat under some Cab
met officer. I am utterly against the creation Of
any independent bureau not under Cabinet officer 20
Mr.. Roosevelts opinion that the Cabi-
net is now sufficiently large viii operate
TO discourage the agitation for a depart
ment Of transportation or for a depart
ment Of mines, as well as that for de-
partment Of health. There is reason to
believe, however, that the President
would not object to having proper gov
ernment bureaus undertake the work In
tended to be devolved on the proposed
departments. We know that he strongly
favOrs an increasing activity on the part
of the national government in the pro-
motion Of public health, and he indicates
IN the letter just quoted that a bureau
Of health would be useful. He has advo-
Gated the creation also Of a bureau of
mines. But he thinks there is room for
all these bureaus in the existing depart
ments, and he is undoubtedly right
Moreover the President Is against the
creation Of independent bureaus outside
the jurisdiction of any Cabinet officer, for
that tends to establish an administrative
authority without any direct responsi-
biIity to the executive. a wrong principle
Of administration.
Mr.. Roosevelt, during his term Of Of
fee, has given much attention TO the
problems Of efficient routine administra-
ton, and the renovation Of departmental
methods due to his initiative will be of
lasting benefit He is by no means
through with this good work, as his last
annual message evidenced. Possibly he
may be able to effect the reaTangement
Of bureaus and divisions TO which ne re-
fers IN his letter as urgently necessary.
At all events. he has asked for legisld-
tiUn to that end, and as to other depart
mental reforms he promises TO submit a
special message in the near future The
administration Of the vast and compli-
Gated Federal business is a science in it.
self, and, as Mr.. ROosevelts incisive let
ter shows. he has some decided ideas as
TO how the Federal machine can be best
operated. Concentration of authority and
of responsibility is the keynote of his
formula of efficiency. II is a formula
that has not been found wanting in any
business
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
The New Financial Measure.

There is nothing startling about the
financial legislation which is said to be
assuming shape in the minds Of the Sen
ate Finance Committee. It simply con
templates authorization Of an emergency
issue OF bank notes in times of stringencv
TO the amount of SlOoOJG,00 secured bv
Federal, State, or municipal bonds. and
taxable at z per cent, In order to assure
It's immediate retirement when need for
it has passed. The whole issue win be
controlled by the Secretary Of the Treas
ury. with the eight subtreasurers al. ad-
visers.
So simple a measure as this ought to
pass both Houses without much friction.
and this doubtless is the hope Of its pro-
posers. The chief objection to it is that
it evades practically the whole Of our
currency question, leaving our money
supply as unresponsive to the varying
needs Of business as before, and really
Offering no remedy for any of our trou-
bles save those arising in times Of finan-
cial stringency, when il viii be profitable
20 the banks to pay per cent for the
use Of little more capital. The Republi-
can majority owes TO the country some
thing better than the proffer of one more
financial makeshift in addition to those
we now have TO put up with. It is not
too much to ask that the party in power
undertake a comprehensive and perma-
nent reformation of our currency system
but it Is obviously useless to make the
request
We think the Republicans will make 4
serious political mistake if they vote
down without careful consideration the
PLAZA for a government guarantee Of hank
deposits. as II is now said they will do
There is evidence out West that this
premises to be the most popular banking
proposition Of the period. Oklahoma has
adopted ii and it looks as if Kansas and
Missouri, If not other States. would be
forced to do so In self-defense. Many
Western bankers have been converted 10
the idea, and reliable advices report if
the most important feature Of the West
ern financial situation at this time" Ma
tional banks are evincing a desire to take
advantage of the Oklahoma law. a desire
that has met with disbursement so far
frofa the Comptroller Of the Currency.
But IL any considerable number of States
should adopt the guarantee plan, the sit
uation would become decidedly interest
ing for the national banks In view of
this contingency. Congress would do well
10 give the guarantee plan full eonsidera-