davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
New-York tribune., 1908-01-12
Kyrle Bellows Medicine

HYRLE BELLEW tells story OF Kansas
N City and experience there as follows
Nv throat was out of order, and the doctor
had prescribed all sorts Of remedies until at
last my dressing table in my room at the hotel
looked ike operation ward One day
heard a knock at the door. and IN answer 70
my Come in there appeared on the threshold
a girl with a broom IN her hand. She stood
there looking at me shyly fOr a minute or two
NV first thought was that she had come 70
ask me for tickets for the theater. then. as
regarded her fluffy light locks, / was sure she
had ambitions TO tread the boards Still she
didn't speak a word
AT last | asked what | could DO for her
She simpered and pressing her hand 10 her
side said she was sick. Whenever she touched
her side it hurt ! smiled and told her not
to touch her side. This only brought out
smile. Finally came 10 the conclusion that
this must be a case of mistaken identity. so |
asked her who she thought | was She re-
piled that she was under the impression I was
a doctor as she had seen SO many surgical
instruments on my table | Laughed and
gave her two tickets for the show, telling her
thought they might prove 10 be i cure Two
DAYS after she returned with the broom
q real doctor sir. she said. and
I'm all right now; but think Your show had
more to do with the cure than his medicine
And she fed"
New-York tribune., 1908-01-12
Didn't Turn Loose

IN the County Chairman" Macklyn Ar
1 buckle says that he was not only an actor
but he his natural self and to convince
any Skeptic he tells this tale
In Chicago once message came TO ME
n my dressing room that q man was waiting
at the stage door TO see me His name was
John W Blank. or something | can't now re-
member
He's a fierce looking customer SAID the
messenger, and he's got = hat on like Yours
sent word down for HIM 10 wait till after
the performance He proved 10 be 4 man
had known Years before. when | was running
for office
Hello. Judge said he I come 70 see You
act tonight. but WAS bit disappointed
asked why
Well he replied. I brought some friends
along with me, telling them as how great an
actor YOU was and We sat down and watched
YOU, but YOU didn't act. You walked around
Just like YOU used to in Texas. But | saws
Now want. He'll turn loose IN minute
But YOU didn't Why didn't YOU turn that
man out and marry the girl, .All the audience
expected YOU TO. No, Judge. You didn't act
You were lust yourself Why IN sam Hill
dldn YOU turn loose"
New-York tribune., 1908-01-12
Two by Joe Herbert

Toe HERBERT has two anecdotes which
y lie Is fond of telling. the first one benny
dnent the last disappearing show girl
rs bits OF scenery these girls have served
Their turn. but they are too expensive to last
much longer. They have 70 be treated dip
lomatically too They are more inventive
than the ordinary office boy While I was
stage managing u piece sometime ago one
oil my show girls showed an indepcndeu,e If
Spirt which was superb She was always late
i"r rehearsal Her excuses were crrat An
her Trends and relations had a series uf rl.fs-
d'tS winch were remarkable m their number
ana diversity She nurScd them All lntII
they naturally gave up the ghost ABOUT IN
honr W,S enough To- bury most ct them Then
She caught onto mechanical devices Street
cars were invariably Late Iust as late. AS She
was, IN tact Then IN turn came certain IN
C"hNeniences IN hotels The elevator was
TohtihuaiIy sticking. until finally came the
denouement. II was IN Phhadclphla me
SIREN iid not appear until nearly two hours
"I'er the proper time / looked ~ her ami
"'i'eI Lhe excuse came ghblv
On Mr. Herbert she painted. I'm so
SoEry but they are repairing the stars ~ the
iho'eh anu could not get down until they
brought q ladder
recognized genius in that girl"
as follows. ~ '''' =
/ was with Days company, PLAYING
New-York tribune., 1908-01-12
Improving on the Author

Guy STANDING gives u ---l,nlScence OF
~ an event N ms lie v--.- introduces
somewhat celebrated ac----- who did no.
succeed over here partle-----E vel
Il was acting Jim the P------. with Ms
Bernard Beere some vea-- ~. one nlgh-
she was evidently IrtISpe~sl She Swayed 10
and fro and finally nea--v fell the stage
| caught her JuSt n t--e. "--~c cerIng under
nv breath. Ring down the .-----rn- Down
came the curtain. and OF u--- Yrs. Beere n
a dead faint After pause '--s- Beere n
sisted on continuing the rs-- ----nce. 50 tne
curtain was raised. and vl U--- q with tne
scene IuSt at the point We ---- ~. After"aru
an old Scotch lady came -r ne and SAD
| m not much OF e. ----. L- Stanaing
but the end YOU gave rs WAS much better
than the deuOuerneut the -.- PROVIDED
New-York tribune., 1908-01-12
End of His Conceit

VIHEN Bob HiIIia-i was q TWO Al acting
w he had a penchan- .a- looking at hiS
own picture on the bIllboar-5 He cOnfeSses
he g1t cured OF that OF The --aG.
One dav.' ne saws -.- N q car As
we were going along We passed some bill
boards depicting the piece We were PLAYING.
What do YOU thtnz o- --a- show: sad
| 10 the conductor
Very good. Said he
The woman N black
Lovely. said he
The villain
'' Excellent
And hesitatet as pointed 70 ny Owl
representation. that man ---- che 5rOwE
mustache,
oh, he's bum snapped The conductor
That settled my cCCc5,--
New-York tribune., 1908-01-12
Settling i Cac--s Girl

.UFRF = a s,,,f --.--- " : Gilbert
L who was always ve-- ---ir aood- Is
wav ms chorus was Gre- and never NUII >,,-'-
allow them % Wear ANY -I-e no- -'---'''s
as low As the anNle
cerrr me Sf tbe cr.- --~ approached
HIM and asked tim-i.E Ter SH1 ."1
play the part Of He-,- .iorlI-eS -
boy IN buttons. who ..-- " "i~A -.'S -
SmeareJ with lam. 4re -.-.. .-N M'.-s ~,
part was ALWAYS p.4yc- .. ..s ---- -. n
bert looked ~ her -u- - --'-4 49,
his Sarcastic way rep.,c- -,vr
Nv dear. YOU are agre -. s1g not % Si''"
Your legs
That settled the vhpr-- -.-.
New-York tribune., 1908-01-12
Dailey's Trip % PGris

once on time 10 e .--- lli-ey -, ,---r-.is ne
~ " = TREND IF mime w. -----'S
Frerch stage and IT, ulr-..- s.,4
he the first night be l.s- % ,o snow -,
he can do. on the -CC.u- ... ->-. y '' ''i n
Tor him and on thc rer a--'N''
not .S the ease may Dc .,--s,s,
Well after rNplur.H- ..'- p :, me
my intimate friend .gu>.. ...- ''''-
WhN don w." .Whv ny
dear bov I've IuSt some .--N .Foli 49,
But he didn't see tar r.N-
New-York tribune., 1908-01-12
Troubles of a Lady"
~EORGE MARION. Henry Savae

GEORGE MARION. Henry Savage's stage
" manager relates a little story OF offended
dignity which IS amusing
A young woman wished to 60 on the stage
but she insisted on keeping up her character
OF lady Of which she was extremely proud
We cast her for the part OF q maid We even
made it into a little character part She re
hearsed and proved fairly satisfactory The
piece had its initiation at Williamsburg TO
ing over on the morning Of the day the piece
was to be produced, | was told q Young man
wished to see me. He handed me = note,
which ran somewhat as follows
DEAR Mr. MARIoN--On consideration !
am sorry TO say that | have decided 10 throw
up my part at the last moment was born
a Iacv. educated and brought up as q lady,
and | really cannot bring myself 10 appear be
fore the American public except IN the char
acter of a lady
New-York tribune., 1908-01-12
a Feast of kIsses

JALWAYS thought Hsu~.- s... :, ms .,,1r d
Santiago until blew ---. --- '---'e --rrlling
U4luIgeu. n Ruulai- ~...- -. odd
p1ayrr who used o. v-----r -t2 ~ ny
trrnrr~ ',r1r " the warii .5u, even L-an4, ,t
hair IS getting a htt.c ,asn. -a,- |S-',,h eoough
take tirst prize N a beauty ,ralc>, T,s.r;r9e
kisses N one dlv o. l~t -a -'es.Se ~ ,1,s m
1t seems that HAlmaErn ify.,. I'M an and or.
memorial. has had IN -''ii.-'-' ,,htv village
this day The population ~ '',"' .',, ,S woman q
oome swarning IN EvrTN '.--.s ..'. out on tbs
the town married or slnt.C E''> -,,,I gar
d-v. carrying vessel ot WINE -..-,. ~ 5rter
land ot flowers. To every N'>'~''
sup oi WINE and . Kiss
New-York tribune., 1908-01-12
A Showmans Proposal

IIAVF had MANY --.- ~-" laughed
II Blanche Bates v-.- was lately
asked tbe Question sy .-..asltive az
0,,ai-,-4rr,. ~ SHs--f - had Got
lots ot tun out Of some -H too Inc
most ConlCal one I ever -. WAS rom q nan
who owned a trave,,-- GIdn Q care
for bIr, 1re atom. bur -. r. .v-recuelv m
uorrr,ns,e one. tav he -. trantlc aP-
peal 70 me, using Is he -- ~ --L--l-s"9'
able argument.
You'd better have -. -rSeG- Vow
think over It Take q --. days. ou' IhinN
over II You know vC- ave 70 90 III
the parade
New-York tribune., 1908-01-12
TOLD AT THE FRIARS CLUB

think Much Ado About Nothing n Glasgow.
Scotland One evening We we-e guests OF the
Shakespeare Club. and the president gave Us
an excellent time until Il came o. ms speech
after dinner This Is what he SAID
&c Ladies and gentlemen. Ike vour COM
panv, | Ike your prOduct.oc. 7 am greatly
pleased with Miss Rehan- bur G--Ee ! mighty
vour language Is awfu
New-York tribune., 1908-06-28
FROM CHIcORT. No DOUBT.

AT a dinner IN Washington DR. Harvey "
Wiley, the governments food expert said as
the coffee was served: What delicious filtered
coffee. This is not like some coffee have seen
And now am reminded Of an incident that hap
pened in my native Kent. Kent boy. a
grocers son. was undergoing an oral exarniua-
ton. Tell me, please said the examine where
coffee comes from? The boy bIushed and hung
his head T amt allowed TO tell that. sir. he
faltered. It's a secret of the business
New-York tribune., 1908-06-28
THE DElL HEIGHT.
For MGn 1t Is a Little Under
Sir Feet.
Sir Feet.

Recruits who are much over six feet tall are
not desired for the United States army.
There are exceptions, of course: but as rule
men who run much over six feet lack depth OF
chest and by reason of Inadequate lung
pacity fall below the average in power Of en-
durance.
The ideal height for a man. according to OBJ
servatons from military point of view. is an
inch and a half under six feet. 1t does not
seem to be intended by Nature that the male
human animal shall exceed this stature, if due
regard is to be had for development at all
points. on the other hand, it is obvious dis
advantage for physical effectiveness to be
under the average number OF inches. AT five
feet ten and half man attains his best de-
veIopment of muscle and bone with highest
vital efficiency.
, gust what is the average height for man
to be not satisfactorily settled. Obviously.
1t differs largely with race, we and the
japanese representing among civilized peoples
the two extremes on the other hand, the Amer
lean Indians are taller than are. and the
aborigines of Patagonia must be considered the
.oftlest folk in the world, nasmuch the men
commonly run over six feet in height. When
the early Spanish explorers described them as
a race Of giants they were not far from the
fact
Even in the United States stature seems to
vary considerably with locality. During the
Civil War from the beginning to the end OF
which government put into the field and
on board of fighting ships more than two mill
ions and a half of men, the tallcst recruits
came from Kentucky, averaging over five feet
eight and half inches Kansas, Minnesota.
Missouri California and Nevada came next, in
the order giyen-all Of them five feet eight
Maine Illinois and Michigan averaged five feet
seven and four-ifth inches, and Ohio and
Pennsylvania a trifie less. Recruits from Mas
sachusetts and Connecticut stood at the foot Of
the list measuring five feet six and half
inches.
After fifty years OF age the human body be-
gins to undergo a progressive shrinkage. Not
only DO the muscular tissues lose bulk but even
the bones become smaller. Meanwhile, there Is
q contraction of the cartilaginOus tissue be-
tween the vertebran OF the backbone, which
causes a loss of height a originally six
feet tall frequently losing much an inch
and half Of his stature by the time he is sew
enty years old.-Saturday Evening Post.
New-York tribune., 1908-06-28

'@Yes," said Mr.. Archer. smiling. TO be fair
is sometimes hard and cruel. and sometimes IL
is rash You know there are reprisals The un-
swervingly fair critic often takes up his pen
with the shrug of Omar. the old Persian poet
you have heard Of Omar's shrug? No? wei''
1t was eloquent
.aThe Shah, one day, sent for the old poet
"'Omar' said he, have written some verses
Listen, and I will read them to you
"And he read the verses, and in the ensuing
silence looked at Omar anxiously. Weir no
said
"Heaven born said Omar gently, each 70
his own calling. Sceptre in hand. you are most
wise. lust and powerful: but pen In hand
Omar shook his head and chuckled-'HeaVen
born said he, such verses would disgrace
nine -year-od schoolboy
His eyes flashing with rage. the Shah shouted
to his guards: ITO the stables with this old
fool. and let him be soundly logged
New-York tribune., 1908-06-28
TREE WITH 4 MISSION.
Continued from fifth page.

enough to prevent their development II Elm.
these young trees force their way up through
the birch. kill II out and take possession oc ths
ground themselves.
The birch acts as nurse for other species
which In time completely suppress Il and kill
It out White pine IS particularly quick %
take advantage OF this protection. and may FIRE
quently be seen coming up through stands OF
gray birch. II has only one complaint t. make
against the birch. and this is that its slender.
whip like branches act as a scourge and in
many cases have been known to actually whip
the needles from the slender twigs OF the pine
and Kill it. Many other species are also pro-
tected In the same way and owe debt of g-lt-
itude 70 the birch for their presence there.
New-York tribune., 1908-06-28

Yet the Shah for all. respected Omars tuds-
ment. and when. week later, another idea for
a poem came to his mind and was feverlsnly
executed he sent for the fearless and fair criuc
again
Another poem, Omar. better one I'm
sure you'll think it Is better one. ne salo
wistfuIly And he began to read the second
poem to the old
But In the middle Of the reading Omar turned
and started for the door.
Where are you going'" asked the Shah In
alnazement
Omar looked back and shrugged his shoul-
ders To the stables he answered. for another
foggng.'"
your daughter has q wonderful ear for
music"
yes" answered Mr.. Cumrox wearily, Seems
like it can stand most anything. Washington
Star.
New-York tribune., 1908-06-28
THE CRITICS SHRUG.

In thc course Of William Archer's American
visit young actress at a dinner, congratulated
that critic his reviews of the drama.
And it is hard. il is cruel sometimes.
ISN'T it, to be fair she said.
New-York tribune., 1908-06-28

CHEVALIEa GlNisrRELlL
When tho King sent for him after the Derby WIS
won the ChevaIier glanced at his Vey free
and-easy costume and threw out bis hands IN
despair, exeiaiminai H9ut u 10 Impossible.
II was the sportsman, however,, whom the
Kino wished 10 honor, and not the costume
and very pleasant meeting followed.
New-York tribune., 1908-06-28
,.x ,uoroceApH EVER FROM A KITE

~ @ = ss$$: = ~ '
New-York tribune., 1908-06-28

The occasion was made
naturaIized italian. was
Illustrated London News
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1908-05-30

go down under temporary onslaught, hit each
time the cause of the people is advanced. The
world loves fighter. They like to look at the
lion at bay, as he arouses himself and losses his
assilants hither and you. Hoke Smith may not
be taultless; like all aggressive men, he has laid
himself open to criticism. Sometimes he may
have been extreme, but as Tom Watson said of
Mirabeau, 1--WE like him nevertheless" 'The
man is magnetic, warm hearted, open handed, bril-.
liant as Indian Summer brave as hammered chiv-
airy. Physically, mentally and emotionaly he is
orator. In size herculean, in manner imperious, in
gesture commanding, by the very fullness Of his
equipment he has fallen upon the right side en-.
listed in the right cause.-The cause Of the people,
the wrongs of the people, the hopes Of the people,
the right of the people, the future of the people,"
Savannah Press.
They tell us that Editor Jones was seen at
the barbecue table Saturday with a smile a
yard wide on his face! Better help us elect
Joe Brown Brother and then we can all have
beef-Leader.
Oh yes. But how we wish we hadn't for even
one little joebrownsandwich kept us in bed and
under the doctors care for two days.
Our weekly exchanges are coming in with
their last issue before the close of the campaign
with estimates of the Hoke Smith majority rang
ing from twenty five to fifty thousand. Our guess
is that the governor will carry more than one hun
bred counties and his majority will be more than
it was two years ago.
Solicitor General, E. d. Graham, is having
strenuous time in the good old Oconee circuit. We
may be mistaken but we believe he is winner.
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1908-05-30
A Personal Reference.

The campaign is nearing it's close and the edi-
tor Of this paper, who is candidate on the state
ticket, will here indulge personal line or two of
purely local application.
Before announced for the Office of Prison
Commissioner / realized that, on account OF ten
years Of active and aggressive newspaper work in
which have never failed to take sides on every
issue effecting Fitzgerald and this section OF the
state, j would encounter local antagOnism.
In the present state campaign, and in the
county campaign Just closed, have been as out
spoken as if had never intended to ask for office.
have held to the idea from the first that it
would be unmanly and weak to hesitate for one
moment to support the men and advocate the
measures considered right regardless OF my can
didacy and the effect it would have on the result.
There are people in Fitzgerald who will not
vote for me, and do not blame them in the Slight
est. Our views ON matters of public policy have
always been widely divergent and my manner OF
handling any subject which we differ arOuses
the enmity of those who oppose me. There is not
a man or any person in Fitzgerald, the county or
state, that feel unkindly toward. There are
some with whom my relations are not cordial and
some who have become imbittered. Its a natural
result of campaign after campaign OF antagonlstlc
views, but positively there are none to whom feel
unkind, altho to be perfectly frank l do not ex-
pect their vote. Their opposition is natural
In the future, as in the past, whether elected
or defeated, shall hew to the same lines with the
same feeling of confidence in my convictions and
the same pride in the results. j. E. MERCER.
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1908-05-30

For Governor.
Vote for One)
JOSEPH M. BROWN.
HOKE SMITH.
For United States Senator,
A. S. CLAY.
For Attorney GeneaI
JOHN G. HART.
For Secretary of State.
PHILIP COOK.
For Comptroller General
VIM. A. WRIGHT.
For State Treasurer.
(Vote for One)
ROBERT E. PARK.
w. J. SPEER.
For State School Commissioned.
.JERE NJ. POUND.
For Commissioners of Agriculture.
T. G. HUDSON.
For Associate Justice of Supreme Court
For Unexpired Term, Ending Jan. 1st, 1909
HORACE M. HOLDEN.
For Associate Justice of Supreme Court.
For Full Terms of Six Years, Beginning
January LIST, 1909.
(Vote for Two.)
BEVERLY d. EVANS.
HORACE M. HOLDEN.
For Judge of the Court of Appeals.
RICHARD B. RUSSELL.
For Railroad Commissioner
For the Unexpired Term, Beginning De-
cember 1st 1908, and Ending De-
cember Jst, 1911.
Vote for One)
FULLER E. GALLOWAY,
r. II. JENKINS.
For Railroad Commission r.
For the Unexpired Term, Beginning De-
cember LIST, 1905 and ending De-
cember LIST, 1918.
Vote for One)
w. ID. BRANAN,
GEORGE HILLYER.
For Railroad Commission
For Full Term Beginning December lst, 1909.
Fl. WARNER HILL.
For Prison Commission r.
Vote for ODe)
RE DAWSON
X. r. FOSTER.
JESSE E. MERCER.
R. Fl. MILLEDGE.
WILEY WILLIAMS.
For Congressman.
From 3rd Congressional District of Georgia
Vote for One.)
DUDLEY NJ. HUGHES.
E. d. LEWIS.
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1908-05-30
The ISSUE.

As the most remarkable campaign in this
states history draws to close, the political spec
tacle is bewildering.
Without candidate worthy the name a
weakling and puppet; without an issue that is
more than subterfuge the opposition to the re-
election of GeOrgia's greatest governor is not I'M
like horde of hungry wolves at the heels of stall
wart huntsman.
The issue:
= "Anything and anybody to beat Hoke Smith,"
We will take the wolves separately
The corporation wolf that has been driven
from the state capitol where, with the free railroad
pass it had shaped laws to suit the corporations and
defeated laws intended for the protection of the
masses of the common people. With candidate
of its own choosing this leader Of the suarllng
bunch is making every sacrifice to destroy the
champion of labor and of popular rights, ana In
stall in his stead man who in Office, and out OF 1t
has acted the part of faithful servant OF the cor
pOrations. This particular breed of wolf has
grown SO strong in some of the states as to be able
to destroy an average champion of the peoples
rights single handed
There is the liquor traffic wolf, and this one
is the most ferocious, beaten off and gaunt with
hunger, seeing an opportunity returns to the
attack with renewed ferocity and desperation It's
breed has mastered many astate without assistance
This wolf is fighting for very existence and its
fury is appalling.
There is the black wolf of Acknowledgement,
almost in the back ground, timid but powerful 1t
awaits an opening to strike.
There are the swarming malcOntents IN poll
tics-the sore head breed, accustomed to sleep
ing on the capitol door mat and feeding lszily on
Official meat not bad but mad. They have lost
something good and would regain it if the power
full wolves succeed in putting down the champion;
this champion who is not unlike the brave Folk,
of Missouri the unselish and heroic LaFollette, OF
Wisconsin. and the undaunted Roosevelt who at
the nations capital, has braved the tiercest on"
sIaughts of corporate greed and political corrup'
ton.
Isn't it strange if Joe Brown is such staunch
friend of prohibition that all the real prohibition
men of the state are working hard for Hoke Smiths
eelection and that ninety per cent OF the out and
nies uf orphibitiOn are working for Brown.
Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1908-05-30

Isn't it strange if Joe Brown is such staunch
friend of prohibition that all the real prohibition
men of the state are working hard for Hoke Smiths
reeectiOn and that ninety per cent OF the out and
n,ies uf prohibition are working for Brown.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-12-04

holy Lodge No. ~, L. o. OFF,
meets each Wednesday evening at the
HOLY hall. Visitors are cordially IN IN =
,Wted II. Z. Maltby, N.tG.,, J.tS..Ae.. ).
Murtry, Sec.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-12-04
A WOMAN BENEFACrRESS

"A yecept1 issue Of the Harper.
Kansas Sentinel announces that
an aiiterprising lady of that place
has commenced the construction
OF a't~'o acre lake on the towpsite
for fishing and boating purposes
and presfatsdF the. sa1ne to the
.mgpjciEalitylfor it's use. Water
~ 'FaiN.tietiht;iat Harper Lear the
'sarfhcseund az gasoline engine will
'su1Aay'athe living spring which
3 VII ss!lP, s:a!.P de tllf lake fresh and pure.
Tne A4Gayating. cay and concrete dam.
will h. completed by spring. The
sameiissus announces the arrival
Of a sStw ,Irinking fountain pre-
sented the town by the ladies' Of
the Study and Social Club.
Haldapbi. a number Of our people
ars walink 10 do The same for Holly.
Wholwa bclthe first one to make
a. ssifes. '-'si' H I'D, s-''..., '.s, * ~,