Free press., 1908-05-23

I feel it coming on again this spring
1t always gets me just about this time!
1t steals upon softly and it says:
The game is called at o'clocl-now
climbi
1 sqGirm about and swear I will not
bulge!
The demon grabs me madly by the hair;
Next minute I am rushing for a car;
And when the umpire bavls. play
ball"' I'm there!
My office boy is acting rather strange;
I'm dreadfully afraid he's got it, too,
But if he gets away this year I know
That boy must think up something that
is new.
He lost grandmothers last year sixteen
times.
His sisters wedding happened once
And now L know from how he Iolls
around,
He's planning up some scheme to make
sneak!
Oh well. this working all the time is
hard
And yet L must pitch in today and dig!
There's sew raj most important matters up
And one of them is-well, it's pretty big!
Excuse me, please? The telephone doth
ring.
What's that? Oh. no. 1 cannot go to-
day!
He is? You re sure that ne Will pltcH the
Well, yes think I'll join you righ-
aWay!"
p. S-The editor requests that You fin
ish this to suit yourself Uncle BY leaves
v!ord that he intended TO VIE another
stanza but Unexpectedly was called out
on business.
900
Strinehalt Philosophy.
The sincere man can accomplish
much.
Some people are like crows. very
noisy and little thought of.
4 K =
A cracked bell and a cracked man
always give forth unpleasant utter
ances.
Small griefs are always told. Great
griefs secrete themselves within heart
and have no tongue to break the holy
silence.
Nothing rests a city man SO much
after having the din of the city in his
ears all day, as the sweet, gushing
song of a brook, grooming it's way
through fern-decked banks and o'e
messy stones.
600
Attractions.
Beyond the Alps lies Italy
Amid the fragrant breeze
And speaking of the fragrance, there
Is also limburg cheese!
600
Harp Strums.
Spring is certainly putting out some
very fine display advertising.
The trouble with scolds is, that after
they have given you a piece of their
minds, they always have plenty left.
X 4 Z
Sometimes the small boy who : es
fishing on Sunday and doesn't catch
anything, catches something when he
gets home.
No man is guilty until his wife
catches him at it-and then oftentimes
she prefers to believe him rather than
the cuckoo clock.
4 < Il
The wise parson will preach special
sermons for young ladies-and in this
way draw not only the young ladies,
but all the unmarried men in town.
K Z z
Telling your bachelor friend that
your wife always cures your headache
by rubbing it away, is slight consola-
ton for the b. Especially when your
wife is absent on her vacation
600
Fly Time.
Oh the summer time is near.
1t is time for flies, I fear.
There was one came on today
In his buzzing sort of way,
Lit upon my nose and said
''Ho! what makes this smeller red7''
It's time for flies!
On their never ceasing raid
In the butter they will wade;
In the milk they'll fall and die,
In the coffee and the pie;
On the bald mans head they'll skate
At very frisky rate!
It's time for flies!
Oh. the tanglefoot will lie
On the chair to catch the ny.
Sisters beau will come alons
All the world will be a song
Then he'll sit in it, the goose
oh, my goodness. turn me ionSe
It's time for fliesi
900
Danger Ahead.
kissing is infectious, contagious ana
delirious. 1t infects the sweetest and
prettiest of young ladies, and spreads
among all her acquaintances. AS for
the delirious part, quite frequently
both parties to the kissing game are
insane on this one subject. And
TO make kissing the more dangerous,
Ii very frequently leads to matrimony
3 w :,