Evening star., 1908-02-04
WHAT is TRUE LOVE?
Better to Break Engagement Than
Risk Inconstancy," Says Writer.

Ono cannot but pity the young man who
writes asking whether a person is to
blame when he finds that he cannot love
mother person as he once did; whether
is his fault that the person appears
lltogether different from what he thought
the was.
Alas, no. Change is the universal order
,f the universe Nothing earthly today
S exactly the same as it was yesterday;
iothing tomorrow will be quite the same
rs today. Times change, circumstances
liter and men and women. being human
iuctuate with their surroundings
..Colors seen by candelight
Will not look the same by day
There is more common experience IN
kfe than that of idealizing some one
Ind finding that the truth is wholly dlf-
erent from the ideal: giving ones soul
n exchange for fairy gold in the light OF
lhe moon. to discover in the clear gray OF
morning that the treasure Is but dead
caves. says Helen Oldtield in the Chicago
Tribune
1t is for this reason that preachers and
eachers are continually repeating to i'm
setuous youth the advice to go slowly
But youth rushes on. unheeding. ana
tonnes to grief Experience keeps a dear
chool but fools will learn at none other.
rhe love of the romancer which is borL IN
In instant to endure through all eternity
egardfess of circumstance. condition OF
hccisitude. has no counterpart in real NE.
Not that true and permanent love does
rot exist but that like all other things
vorth having. it requires cultivation and
growth. Moreover. it must have more
table foundation than that of mere pas
ION or fleeting fancy.
All women and most men. apparently
eel bound to declare themselves mirrors
II constancy and to cover with oppro-
srium any poor. weak mortal who is
guilty of the crime of transferring her
,r especially his affections. Flirt, jilt,
ieartless. such are the cpithets hurled at
lis luckless head; many the evils predict
ID for the unfortunate sinner. But is
his Just? Which of us can count surely
Ipon ourselves, still less upon arother:
Dreams of Constancy.
Most boys and girls believe in the beau
iful theory of eternal and abiding con-
.tancy, but the poetic belief seldom out
asts their first love affair. which, as uni
,ersally is admitted. rarely ends in mar
iage nor always happily when it does so
md The average man or woman of
twenty-five or thirty. were they to tell
he truth about it. which is not to be
expected, must confess that it is not
iifficult to fall in and out of love. and
hat the attendant pangs of such ex-
,erience oftener than otherwise merely
IRE those of wounded vanity.
1t is an undenia BILE fact that some men
wen find it possible to tpve two women
1t once with what is to all appearance
ealiy love. Nor is this because affe ction
or the first love has waned. but because
he heart of the man is weak and easily
:esponds to the touch of sympathy and
owe. Nevertheless. with such divided
lliegiance. the man. if he be man, suf-
ers agonies of remorse an shame even
'hough he lack the moral strength which
night render him true to one. The old
'roverb- 'Tis love which makes the
world go round" is true enough in its
way. but it is quite possible to have too
much of even so good thing as love,
Ind the man who is trying to WOO two
4 women at one and the same time will
loon discover that the undertaking is a
lard one and will sooner or later find
himself in water of the hottest tempera-
ure. .-.
The man who finds himself wholly un-
ible Ito decide to- whlcn of two women
,e really has given the first place in his
leart should try temporary separation
rom them both This usually will settle
he question. Absence makes the heart
grow fonder' is an oft quoted proverb.
out another. still truer with most. is:
'Ou. of sight. out OF mind" and nothing
eut an actual trial can decide the matter
n any case no man ought to marry any
woman unless he is sure that for him
she is the one and only one in all the
world. 1t Is a mean thing to beg off
: rom the accepted proposal to make a
woman ones wife. but ii is worse to
fheat her with vows which cannot be
Iept in the spirit as well as in the letter.
When the choice is limited to that of
.wo evils. he who is wise takes that
which is least.