davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20
A SOCIAL TANGrE.
The Results of an Attempt to Solve
the Complex Problem.

ssWanted, three competent men
to fill vacancies, on the editorial
staff of the Daily Doleful."
The sad circumstances which
called forth the above advertise
ment are as follows:
In yesterdays editorial column
appeared notice that man named
Shore had married his stepdaughter
by his (Shore's) deceased wlfe..s for
mer marriage.
The society editor very, thought
lessly asked,
"What relation would the chill
dren BY this marriage and their chill
dren hold to the parents ?"
The whole staff attempted to
solve the problem, with terrible re-
suits.
"In the first place." said the So
ciety editor, "the children would be
their father'S and mothers second
cousins. an4-their grandfather would
be their granduncle by their father $
side, while their grandmother would
be their grandaunt and also step
mother as well as their fathers
wife; hence they'd be their own
children. Gracious! Twice nothing
is nothing and two to carry" And
then he tried to stab himself with a
paper knife.
The night editor said:
Gas he married his wife's daugh-
ter, the mother is sister to her own
children, and her husband must be
their brother-in-law, and If he's
their brother-in-law, being also
cousin to his wife, her children are
his second cousins and must be
cousin to her husband, so he's HI:
own cousin.
ellis own cousin, he must have
also been his cousins and his uncle
and his annts, and so did his cousins
and his uncles and his aunts, and 81
did his cousins and his
And here it became necessary t.
fasten the night editor in his char
where he sits wildly repeating, "An'
30 did his uncles and his cousins an
his aunts,'' hopeless idiot.
Then the editor in chief attacke
it, and in two minutes he made tn
children their own mothers-in-laW
and one of them, he declared, wa
her own grandmother, after whle
he was delivered up to the police TO
safe keeping. -,
The problem was taken up by tn
"comps," and in half an hour ever
man was sitting with staring eye
figuring with his finger on the bac
Of his hand and vowing Shore ha
married his great-grandmother will
out license, while an errand be
jumped out of the window, und'
the impression that he was his oW
ancestor.-London Tit-Bits.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20
STAG ON ROADS.
Use Old Material and Spread It In
Layers, Says Highway Expert.

Use Old Material and Spread It In
Layers, Says Highway Expert.
After a banquet which followed the
first annual smoker of the North Tona-
wanda (N. " board Of trade DR.. D.
Ward King of Maitland. No., delivered
an interesting address on Niagara
county roads, says the Buffalo Ex-
press.
"While the idea prevails in the cities
of New York state" said Mr.. King
"that mud roads are mostly all in the
west, it is well to mention the fact that
New York state has $4,000 miles Of
roads, 5000 miles Of which are I'M
proved. The mud road has been o
problem ever since transportation be-
gan. 1t is generally admitted by road
builders in this state (New York; and
the United States that with the split
log drag system the difficulty is re-
moved"
DR.. King criticised the officials for
making good roads and then giving the
roads but little attention. He said
that roads should be improved and
| kept Constantly in repair. He advised
! the North Tonawanda officials to get a
crusher and use it in slagging streets
| in the city. He recommended the use
| of old Stag only as the new Stag from
! the iron furnace is too soft. The Stag
must be put ON in layers, and each
layer must be rolled instead of putting
the Stag on from a foot to two feet
deep and then rolling it. The present
system, he asserted. makes short life
road. All Stag should be screened, he
said, and all coarse Stag should go as
the bottom layer.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20
NEW POSTAL LAW.

The United States Postal De-
partment has made new regula-
tions in regard to carrying second
class mail matter such as news
papers, magazines, periodicals,
etc.) the same going into effect
January I, 1908, and allowing
publishers to April I, 1908, TO
prepare their subscription lists in
accordance with the new order of
things. The effect of the change
practically compels the establish
ment of new relations between
the publisher and subscribers of
county papers.
The department ruling requires
that subscriptions entitled to the
second class postage rate shall
not be delinquent longer than the
| following periods of time:
Dailies within three months.
Tri-weeklies within six months.
Semi weeklies within nine
months.
Weeklies within one year
The mails are not forbidden tc
subscribers who are in arreai:
longer than the time provided II
the new ruling, but these subscri
bers are placed in a separate class
ifcation. requiring higher rate
of postage the rate being so higf
that publishers could not affort
to send papers at the price OF sub
scription.
The reason given by the gov
ernment tor making this order i
that second class mail matter /
being carried through the mail:
at a rate of postage thereo
which is less than the cost OF cal
riage.
The GAZETTE has heretofor
r been liberal in giving to its sui
scribers time to pay for their sui
3 scriptions, by paying $500 pe
3 year for those past due and SIS
y per annum when the same WI
paid in advance. Having mac
the difference in the past-due an
, advance rate has resulted in gl'
: ding the GAZETTE larger portle
r of paid up subscribers. This ru
must now be changed accordlr
l. to Uncle Sans order, as tt
6 newspaper has no voice in Il
n matter. The GAZETTE invites
= pa,rons to settle their dues 500
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20

The BARRIERS small son was in the
habit OF playing arosnd his fathers
shop, and he was always keenly IN
terested in the patrons. Many
stray penny found its way into the
little chubby hand, and sticks OF
gum were dropped in quite as
though by accident. Judge Blank
drifted into the shop the other aft
ernoon for hair cut. The lad rec
ognized the fact that the judge was
a new patron and so was more than
ordinarily interested in him: He
hung at the foot of the chair and
looked musingly at the judges bald
head. Then he walked slowly to the
back of the chair and surveyed the
scanty fringe of hair from that
point of vantage. He could contain
himself no longer and burst out IN
credulously: Father, do you get g
quarter for cutting that :?s-Lippln-
fott's Magazine.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20
The Bachelor.

Poor old bachelor, little he knows
What harvest of sadness his selhshness
sows!
Hard is his task to accomplish his ease.
Hardest of all himself is to please.
Poor old bachelor, pity him all.
Bitter the honey he mixes with gall!
sleeping and eating and drinking. for
sooth,
All that he thinks OF. and that Is the
truth,
These take the place Of the child he has
missed;
These compensation for being unkissed;
Selfishly gloating Ger lack of wife,
Wrapt in himself the whole Of his life.
"Glad I'm not in it," he says, with a
smirk.
Iife's solemn duties he's willing to shirk,
While nature exacting the penalty sure
At best makes the bachelor nothing but
poor.
The slave G: himself. hard tyrant to
please.
He works like q Turk to accemp Ish his
ease.
| Frank Fair.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20
SCHOOL HYGIENE.
Why You Should Teach Your Chndrs"
Jiu Jitsu.

Jlu J1SSus
Ono of the most interesting subjects
brought up for discussion at the recent
international congress on scnooi ny
piene was the question OF lnciuuihg
the teaching of jiu jitsu. or japanese
wrestling, as part Of the regular schooi
curriculum.
One thing about jiu jitsu is that 1t is
graceful. The throws and falls are all
done when expert with an ease and
grace that are little short OF marVei-
ous. What is Of more importance is
the wonderfully beneficial effect 1t mas
| unon the health of those little pupils
who have already become proficient
and who number small mites of five or
six years.
One of the most potent results is the
improved circulation of child who
has been through course of training
the exercise invigorating all the Or
eans and starting the circulation
through brain and body. 1t permits OF
no danger of strain and can conse-
ouently be indulged in by the small
deyotee without any anxiety on the
part of the school authorities.
In the case of an exceedingly deli
cate child the result has proved salts
factory beyond the most sanguine
hopes, and the difference in the ply
sioue of the little p1tpil, who numbers
eight or nine summers, seems hardly
credible after course of only three
months training.
A lesson in jiu jitsu lasts from TWEEN
ty to thirty minutes, the NOV vement
representing the art Of self defense o
attack. Naturally enough, in the cas-
of the small people it is necessary t
, teach the attitudes one by one till the.
become instructive, the actual reason
5 ing power which would direct whel
they should be turned to account re
= quiring ripper years.
! The ankle trip, which consists i
i swinging the opponents leg aside jus
= at the psychological moment, when hi
weight is being shifted from the lei
foot to the right, and pulling hi1
aside at the same time, is taught frs
the children being wonderfully quic
( at picking up the theory and bein
given an opportunity of testing ever
movement on the teacher.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20
Farmers.

Read the "Weekly Oregonian" of Port
land and the Corvallis Gazette" for the
general news of the world. also for in
formation about how to obtain the best
results in cultivating the soil, stock raisA-
ing. fruit raising, etc
You can secure both of these excellent
0apers for one year by paying to Me
Corvallis Gazet,e' the sum of two do'-
ars and fifty cents, in advance. RenlS
the money ny postoffise order or ban k
draft and these most vahl able papers wis4
be promptly mahed to you. ssh
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20
Docs In Harness.

Only occasionally in the United
States does one see dogs in harness,
but it is a common sight all through
Canada. There not only boys and
girls, but grown men, do not disdaln
to be pulled by Fido or Bruno, and
it is quite customary when touring
through the country to see dogs
harness hanging on the stable wall
beside that of the horse. The little
carts used for dogs are so light that
they are not burdensome, and OF
course only big, heavy<dog, like a
Newfoundland or some of the mon
grel types, is ever put to such work.
Exchange.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20
A PRESENT CRAZE.
An Interesting Way to Earn ones
Daily Bread.

Daily 6reAo.
OF all the fads which the American
girl has taken up within the last re"
years that of bookbinding Is the most
interesting as well as being for many
besides the most worth while.
II girl is possessed Of any talent
for drawing or designing, bookbindlng
is a delightful work, as 1t calls Tor all
the originality and individuality OF
which she is capable. Naturally any
one at all interested in the best IN Ut
erature and art will find the WORK aii
absorbing, for in no other way Is II
possibIe to come into such personal
touch with an author as in the Dlndlns
of his books.
From a financial point of view also
there is much in favor of learning the
art of bookbinding. Many girls, Whlle
nossassed of q fairly comfortable in,
come. would still like to feel that
should anything dire occur they "oulo
be capable of earning livelihood, ant
| book binding is a real and recoSnlzee
| profession that once learned could
| anv time be turned to account There
is really more to be made in gettlns
I'D a class in book binding than in th'
actual work itself, for book to p'
well bound by hand requires som'
weeks of steady and patient LABOR ou ,
for 4 rare old edition a good price VII
he paid. and for handsomely boun'
collection of the works of long ia
miliar author most satisfactory sun
can always be obtained.
If it appeals at all, bookbinding is
fascinating occupation and as profes
sion is assuredly far and away NOR
interesting than the average means Q
earning ones daily bread, and for TIL
very reason has it grown so tremeI
dously popular among girls who, a
though at present are possessed OF
that money can buy, nevertheless fe'
that they would like to have somethln
upon which to fall back.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20
CLOTHES SUPPORTER.
Adapted to Support Large Number
of Garments.

When selecting a house the most
important requisite in the eyes OF the
housewife is the number of clothes
closets. In her estimation there must
be plenty of them, and she prefers
those of large capacity. In the major
ity Of cases she must be satisfied with
very small closets, which afford but
little space for the reception of clothes
By discarding the hooks usually fas'
tened to the top and sides of the close,
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20
The Best Quality of
PIANOS and. ORGANS
At the Store of GRAHAM & WELLS
Corvallis, Oregon
CUSTOMERS
Are requested to call and see them be-
fore purchasing elsewhere.

THIS OLD RELIABLE HOUSE will
sell their FINE-TONED INSTRU-
MENTs FOR REASONABLE PRICES
instead of charging you extra to make
up for high city rents, railroad fases and
hotel bills for travelling statesmen.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20
Music Loving People

Can purchase these reliable goods IN
their home town. If there is anyshing
you do not understand you VIII find the
sellers near your home.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20

THE EARLY PIGS.
Comfort For the Mother Hog and Hsa
New Family.

new = army.
By J. H. GRISDALE.
For week or ten days before far
rowing or parturition occurring IN colo
spring weather the SOW should receive
a rather liberal ration of milk produc-
ing food, such as bran mashes, chopped
oats. skim milk, shorts, a little oilmeal,
etc., being careful always to see that
there are no signs of constipation, that
the bowels are quite loose.
The attendant should always be on
good terms with every SOW, but this
should very particularly be the case for
a few weeks before, during the time or
and for a few weeks after parturition.
By a little petting and few kindness
es that appeal to her sense of what IS
| nice the attendant can win the con1l-
| dence of almost any SOW, provided, OF
| course, that he has not previously won
her dislike.
| Parturition should take place in a
pen specially prepared for the event
and for the accommodation Of the
| mother and her family during the fiIai
| few weeks OF tlelT lives. oIIS d oIiA''i
amount of cut straw or chaff should be
! given for bedding, thus no opportunity
! being offered the little ones to get los
or tangled up and so exposed to danger
| of death from cold, hunger or crushing
by the SOW. AS a further protection
board about eight inches wide placeI
fiat horizontally about eight mche
from the floor along the wall, to Whlci
it should be firmly attached, will b
found of considerable value, affordln'
space where the little ones can rul
or be showed when the mother lie
down.
Generally speaking, the less inter
ference at parturition the better. l
the weather be cold good plan Is L
have some clean dry straw in box
barrel, into which the little ones may D
placed as they are born, being mrs
dried with a cloth. If pafturltlon 1
slow in cold weather it is sometime
wise to put some warm bricks or na
stones in the box with the youngsters
They should be allowed to suck as 500
! as possible after birth.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-03-20

When Lowell was editor of the
Atlantic he received a contribution
from Thomas Bailey Aldrlch, then
Just starting in his literary career.
He was much impressed with the
literary merits of the article and IN
sending the author a check for the
same inclosed congratulatory note,
advising him to continue writing
and to follow literature as a profess
sion. The kind thoughtfulness was
appreciated and remembered by
Aldrich, and the note was carefully
preserved. Years after, when Al
drich himself was the editor of the
Atlantic and Lowell sent a contribu-
tiop, he was gratified at receiving a
copy Of the note he himself had
written years before. When it Is
realized that Lowell had already
made a reputation in letters the
clause advising him to stick to lit
| erature has 9 funny signifcaas>.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-11-25
FOUND MANY INDICTMENTS.

Demopolis. Nov. 24.-(specia)- The grand jury for the fall term of the Circuit Court of Marengp County, which has but recently adjourned, in vestigated s1S6- charges, examined Ell witnesses and returned into court ninety-nfne true bills. Of these iwen- ty are for felohies and seventy-nin misdemeanors.
 The books of the officers of the coun- ty were examined in a brief way, but did not have before them the vouchers of the Superintendent of Education, hence the jury could not make a re- port of that officers books, and it was deemed necessary that the State Ex- vouchers and Sbooks of that oflcer, as we'll as the other county officers. The books and vouchers of the other coun- ty officets exapined were found neatly and correctly kept. c. J. Ballow was the foreman.
 pr. Arthur Francis Sterfels of St. Louis, Mo, and Miss Adelaide Simon were married at the home of the brides mother, Mrs Joseph simon. at 5 o'clock sunday afternoon. Rabbi Razen of Meridian, Miss. performed the cere- mony. The wedding was a very quiet one, only relatives of the bride and groom being present. Mir. and Mrs. Sterfels left on the TAT Southern Suns day night for St. Louis, where they will make their future home. Miss simon was one of the most beautiful and popular of Demopolis's social cir cle. The groom Is a prominent prae- ticing physician of St. Louis. The bride and groom were the recipients of many costly and beautiful presents.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-11-25
WILL DISCUSS TARIFF /
 ON SEA ISL AND COTTON


 Lake City, Fla, Nov. 24.MThe cot ton growers of the South will con- vene here tomorrow to discuss the tariff on Sea Island cotton.
 The convention, which has become known az the Big Cotton Conven- tion," and which will be opened by Governor BrowaEd. was called by the Sea Island Cotton Association and the Farmers Union at the request of Con- gresgrnan Clark. 1t Is the conven- tion's intention to strongly endorse a tariffs on cotton and to send a com mittee to Washington to urge the claims of the cotton, growers before the Ways and Means Committee.
 Long staple cotton of other coun- tries come into competition with Sea Island cotton of the South. In Egypt is produced 125,000 bales annually of a variety known as Joanovitch, which can be used as substitute for the Georgia and Florida products. The West Indies also produce 5000 bales The cost of producing the foreign cot ton is very little, becAuse of cheap la bor and crude processes. This cotton Is permitted to enter American ports free and is used by the manufacturers to depress the price of cotton.S Mean while. the manufactured product@nis protected.
 The Southern cotton. growers will not only demand a high duty on Sea Island cotton, but a duty on the re- shipment of American short stapla cotton back to this country after 1t has left American ports.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-11-25
GINNING RATES CUT.


 Columbus, Miss, Nov. 24.-(Special.) As a result of war between local ginneries, the price for ginning cotton has been reduced to 50 cents per bale The price heretofore has always been B and when, at the beginning of the present season Captain W. c. Mcclure local manager for the Refuge Cotton oil Company. which operates gin in connection with it's plant, proposed to reduce the price 50 cents, the man agers of other similar concerns de- .ciined to agree to the proposition. 4 few days since Captain Mcclure drop ped to 50 cents. and otbere managers were forced to follow suit. d.
 The real motive behind the move. ment is a desire on the. part of the mills to secure cotton seed. There ars three cotton seed oil mills here. and the demand for seed is far in excess of the supply. The price of 50 cents holds good only when the seed are sold to the mill which does the gin ming. otherwise the owner of the cot ton is compelled to pay S1 per bale which, however, is only one-half the regular price. {.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-11-25
Gruelly Game at r. M. C. A.
 Promised Thanksgiving Night

forwards: Mcqueen. center; H. Marcus and M Marcus, guards.
 Goals from feid--Hall. S. Myers h; Patterson, 4; SusonE,s q; Morierty, 3; tB. Alley. 8; A Marcus. 3: McQueen.t H Marcus. 1: M Marcus. 2. Heferee' Banks. .A. a -eSt
 The Columbus team. has not lost game in two years and Coach Dowdt mas written friends in Montgomery that the team this year is the fastest ne mas avev' 'tVrned out. Pease, the star or the Georgia, Techs last season IS playing one of the guard positions this season for Columbus, and together with posler. Columbus claims the greatest defensive pair in, the South. Tn Massey at cen : ter. Dowd has a man who is said 70 pol far superior to Peacock the star of last years team. Massey was kept on tRc sidelines last .yeRr because of. his gen :, Known that he was the peer Of any man who had ever playAd the center position in Columbus. Massey is the man whom Montgomery most fears. but big Patter- . son found lsst year that the bettor they came thea easier it was rsfor him5 10 handle them and as q result Mr. Mas ssy will have his hands full here = Columbus wiii have 4Srom fiftyy to seventy-fiv rooters at the game and tt is more than likely that tine gyinnn siuna. will for the first time in its htR7 tory be unable to accomfu0date the crowd. This is the basket ball feat ure of the year and the enthusiasse seems determined to. take advantage of ~Fs z F