The Hood River glacier. (Hood River, Or.) 1889-1933, 1908-12-31
Sanse and Nanstnse q


gress than rolling of Of log.
"Ihe art OF explaining the unex-
plaina BILE" will have become science
with trust magnates by the time the
courts are through with Rockefeller,
Archibald, etc.
Vice President Fairbanks is to
"practice law" after he is through
whit his present job. Maybe Senator
Foraker can throw a few odd jobs his
Say.
With all the generals In Office and
The army installed in the customs
house, Haiti is again at hcme to the
dove of peace
The Christmas tree not only defor-
ests the hills, as DR.. Macarthur says,
but think what it does to fathers
purse.
About the time American troops
have evacuated Cuba, another revolu-
tion will be due, with annexation fol-
lowing.
Mr.. Roosevelt knows how to talk to
his fellow editors
How IL IL that Mr.. Fairbanks is so
ooldly Indifferent TO the assault on
Cousin Deiavin Smith, editor OF the
indianapolis newsS
Taft is now directing his weight to
the sundering Of the solid South.
The President. elects heart is way
down south 10 Dixie" sure enough.
rhe Independence party vnte in
D.. lr-a 10 10 I IL
not exp cted that Mr.. Hearst will ask
for recount.
J. Pierpont Morgan eat. pie for
lnuoheon, and yet some people claim
that the rich don't have any good
times.
The fear Ia expressed th.t Congress
will not have time to be economical
this year.
Candidates for the Ananias Club
are never kept long on the waiting
list.
II Senator Platt is really writing a
book, We suggest that be tell all be
knows and issue the volume on the
Fourth OF July. No other racket
would be necessary.
I Some Statesmen would te willing to
pay q substantial sum to anybody
who will steal the branding iron that
Mr.. Roosevelt brought with him from
bis western ranch.
"How long, o Theodore. how long?"
asks the Ohio State journal. About
4 words, more or less.
Admiral Evans doesn't want any.
body to make him present of house
and lot, aud he doesn't want to be
president, either. The admiral is
hard to catch mapping, we believe.
King Victor Emanuel has raised
the salaries of all the royal employees
Victor is knight after the common
peoples own heart.
IAN Indian woman whose nader
name was Partridge has had husband
named Robin, Sparrow and Quayle,
says the Birmingham Age Herald
This woman evidently has no use foI
man unles, he IL something of
bird.
The time to strike effective blow
tor woman's suffrage is when woman
holds the future voter across he
knees.
The super heated energy generated
In the Panama controversy 10 sui1
oient II properly utilized to dig sew
eral canals.
The California man who can't hel
laughing when an earthquake come
along, should move to Washington
where he can giggle all the time.
"What is rapid transit?" asks
New York newspaper. Anything fast
or than cash boy, we think.
In her charitable giving Mrs. Rus
sell Sage has reached the 'you rails
an equal amount" stage. Too bad.
Elk Senator Spooner intimates tina
we have too many oratoricaI states
men. That will be less evident afte
March 4
MIR. Taft Ia suie of tariff revision |
good faith. Does this mean an in
crease to the Ohio potters who are al
ready protected 60 per oentY
Mr.. Rockefeller gave a waiter a {
cent tip, and advised him to put th
money ia the savings bank, But We
bet he bought an automobile. Instead
Captain Richmond Pearson Hobso
Is plaintiff 10 $4,000 libel sui
against one OF his campaign detract
ors. The captain ought to be bette
loser than that,
Now that there IL an attempt I
have all manufactured imitation
properly labeled, why not also attao
'em to men and women?
Hut the President IL not likely t
meet any breed of monkeys In th
dark continents that he has not a
ready met In America.
almagine your mother, wife, you
daughter, your sister or your swee
heart a rantins suttragette,
EVIL eminence"-that Is one {
the positions occupied by eminent ct
itoIs, says Mr.. Roosevelt.
II the Sherman Anti Trust law
so mischievous measure that