davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17
Chric&r:2 IS Eve.

If we stay up thus till after MD
nirht. tormcnted by all the little
devils that delight in a hustle, our I'm
gers all thumbs, and our memories,
goaded to az unnatural clearne>S, tell
irE us all sorts Of things we ought 10
have thought OF sooner but didn't, and
don't want 70 think of now; If at last
We drop exhausted into bed, afraid 20
look at the clock, it is hard to put on
a holiday face fe" hours later and
Shout, Merry Christmas in the
dawn The beloved youngsters Tor
whom we have performed most or
this labor hop into our bed, spill pop
corn and nut shells down our backs
AID insi.. upon our eating candy be-
fore breakfast Sticky, happy, WrlS-
g.y, all talking at once at the top OF
their voices. they are not the most
satisfactory bedfellows III the world
Tae baby gets excl ed and cries; the
zap rushes wildly about and barNs,
end has to be cuffcG for eating up tie
gingerbread animals: the father in
quices if any one suDposes that TINS Is
fun; and the mother tries to quiet the
laby, pul out the pup, mate the stock
| ings, fasten buttons. AID Go her own
lair in q fashion 1T for churcH, with
on; losing the GOOD cheer the occasion
| (onaads-frarncr'S Iia%"".
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17
Christmas In the North.

Norway and Sweden celebrate with
q real Santa Claus. Early Christmas
eve the children are dressed in their
finest attire. Days previously songs,
dialogues and speeches have been pre-
pared The house is Gac0ra ed with
the holly and greens, and all Gay long
the children are on the Qul viFe.
Every knock on the door OF ring of
the bell brings thrill Of expectancy
and a rush to the door, until finally
Santa Claus appears. The children
have on their best behavior with heir
good clothes, Santa is respectfully sa-
luted, but with eXpectant eyes, and
finally, after repeated handshaking
and exchanges of good wishes, he in
quires into the behavior Of the chill
dren. If child is guilty of any gross
misdemeanor, he chides the little de-
Enuuent, but always fOrgives under a
promise Of a better report next year.
Little speeches are then made, songs
of the day are sung, and the younger
children climb into Santa's lap, thor
oughly enjoying his visit. At last
comes the grand distribution OF gifts.
From his pack Santa selects each
ones gift, when the ringing of sleigh
!;aus is heard in the distance ala he
must go. Such a tugging and pulling
the dear old saint never experienced
but there are other children waiting
otner presents 10 be given, and be
cannot disappoint so many. so he
,.41St suoad on his Way-WOman'S
| Home Companion.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17

aroo+est care should be e%er-
c,sa5 in buying pork, whether l1T1n
e er sa1ted. Pork should be wh 80
o on5. fine grained in the lean; the ia'
anr Inv nlisb white and free from ker-
OF ~ snecks. the skin thin and the
neis VI aau When pork is stale II
IS not fit to eat os+,b,,,tv de-
nond so entirely upon the t tsat =
pea pen the keeping Of the pig. ths son u
anu ,,d never be bought unless lion
sil Ua NC who can be relied upon
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17

"You are old" said the maiden d.
surely you know,
Yet when you come earthward' eacn
year, ;.
Won always remember to bring mis-
tletOe
10 hang on the great chandelier
"In my YOUTH Father Christmas IT.
piled, and he smiled
Gre ever to mortals l came'
r studied Young hearts, and l hnu' my
dear child,
Their wishes are ever the sanle
Carolyn Wells.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17
A DaDoePouS Operation .

Is the removal of the appendix by
surgeon. No one who takes Dr. KING S
New Life Pills is ever subjected to this
fr;obtful ordeal. They work so quietly
Won don't feel them. They cure constl-
ration. headache, biliousness and ma
LARA 25c at E. T. Whitehead Co. s
drug store.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17

DeWitt's Carbolized Witch Hazel
Salve has many imitatOrs. There Is
one original, and the name Dewitt is
on every box. Best salye for burns,
scratches and hurts. 1t is especially
good for piles. Sold by E. T. White
head Company.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17
We'll Darned.

The Only Child-My mother darned
nv stocking before l hung it up.
Only One of Ten-My father darneo
nine after l hung it up.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17
Diminishing.

Mrs. Benham-IU buy sit after
Christmas: everything goes down then.
Benham-Especially the size OF a
mans pocketbook.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17

SEND IN YOUR SUBSCRIPTION TO
THE CoMMoNWEALTH.-Doh ! wall
TO be called upon.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17

NhdI ECD 10 VII
I'm glad I'm not a turkey,
Shutting round so fat and perky;
I'm glad I'm not plump young duck
Or little baby pig;
And i'm gald I'm not q yellow
Pumpkin, like that fat young fellow,
Waiting in my mothers pantry
Looking very smart and big.
Oh. there's lots of things I'm glad
about,
But one thing l am mad about
It's that h0rrid second table,
Where they stow us boys away;
Were they make you wait and wait,
Looking at your empty plate,
Till yea wish you were our grandma,
Even If 81 IS bent and gray,
For she's always guest of honor"
There's many-a gobbler will end his
career,
And roast on the spit in the cause OF
good cheer;
| But well honor his mem'ry, his race
! and all that,
If he proves to our palate he's juicy
and fat.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17
~@@eo@@eeeee oe@eeee5
A FINE OLD MAN

"You are old, Father Christmas the
young woman said,
"Yet whenever you visit the EARTH
You laugh like boy and shake your
viii head
And cnucn,c IN g!adnass and mir(h'
"sIy dear" Father Christmas repleu'
with a grin,
I'll tell you the reason OF that.
In MY youth l was solemn 7nd, there
fore, quite thin,
So l thought l would laugh ana
grow fat"
.sYou are old, Father Christmas she
went Oh to say,
"And the old oft are stingy ana
mean;
Yet YOU strew welcome gifts in tree
handed way,
Such lavishness never was seen!
;'In my youth" Father Christmas ~
Piled, with wink,
"f had All exfravaga1t wife;
! And the prodiga1 habits sue taught
me, l think,
Affected me all through my me-
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17

An Old Maids Christmas Slipper.
II vas many, many years ago
When she began to knit them;
Har cheeks were like the roses glow,
With dimples that befit them.
No one particular had she
in mind while she was knitting;
For heart and fancy both were free
AS needles went a-fitting.
And lovers came and lovers went.
There's time enough to Choose
them
l have no time for sentiment.
l love-just to refuse them"
So free Of fancy, free of heart,
She drifted down the ages
An artist of the knife art,
A book of unturned pages.
Her fanciCs went into the wool;
Her dreams into the stitches
Till dreams and fancies overfull
Forgot loves fairest riches.
There, they are done, I'm glad, at
last"
Upon the hearth she placed them.
Too old to love-y7ith beatty past
No lovers feet e'er graced them.
Horace Seymour Keller.
The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17

o happy bells. through coming years
We hear in your glad sending
The message still of peace. good will,
AL jarrins discords blending!|
o bells Of God. ring on. our soulsI
To Gr2ndcr action neIving,
Till al our days are Christmas days
OF living and of serving.
Caroline A. Ougan.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29
ueue GdnoiSateu.

Die 6errn County Sueaes Srant
Dnten uno pans ScOubg seieen beu'
te lire Ganbioatar fur Bieoermabl,
erIterer fir ben nDrbtihen, uno less
terer iar ben Iuolihen Siftritt an.
Beibe perren huben iit i'm amte
treu bendbrt uno rueroen audi in ib'
rer Ganbibatur teiue Seaner baben.
5erner seiaen Iit an, Or. ".
5ubbs fir Repraientant, SObn S.
Snuer, fir Shasmeiiter, Clarence
o. Bnrter iIr Eruiecutine Ittornep,
i. %. Sueqer fur gberiff, nno 9. u.
Reper, BON Bag. letterer Elm Sobn
oes peritOrbenen GOuntpridters Ism.
Re1er, fur baS afeiioramt. aue
bieie Winner mil ausuabme bes
Serrn Meper naren ihon I'm &Tte,
poer baben it1 oarum beruOrben, uno
fuo benz 8dbter %be.annt; audi Serr
Reper miro iib ben @dbtern u0:itel'
fen.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

Ba q. 6err uuo 5rau i. Us.
gtpenner unb Subn G6Din pGren
am 1ountas in pope bel 8. 8. S1'
mann su Beiuh.
Gm Epnueritaa toiitbete hter
Elm iold, ihmerer Sturat pie er lett
Sabren ntdt eeieben ruuroe uus ots
g~eieberunaen Der Secono Greet wa'
ZEN aGe urter 8nier seIest.
Cine eruBe ausabl eeute non
bier uchntsn Der Sieuns Der ia Ger:
non taaenoen aOnferens bel.
5rau &. 3. 9%auaenber8 1T 5ur
!9eit bier bel ibrer 9odter 6raa
7beu. aouiesto. BON st. Sous, Nell
DE iflimm trant 1T.
Suit. Blante. uou Napoleptl,
NJ ar leste @phe bier UNI feline 6rau
uelte bier bel ihren GItern, ben
@belenten simOn Soeeer, gu SsluH
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29
Grcmc mrtt Grsms.

0abt unb Sturmeebrous ieeett
Elm Stii,
9'raui itebet Serr Sdemuub
Our Seintatb tebrt ct uns fernem
2ano
limb nit linn iein treuer SanS.
Cine Speee it's, bon ibrem Serrn
&idt tpeid]enb Gag unb gtadlt;
Der peis, er rubt in iiheriter out,
@enn rGreuseieII" i'm betuaflt.
8telbunbertmat bat Der Sapi're ~Tit
inn
Sen Sieer, ben gareu 9ejaet,
@ebuusert. eebiritet nit linn, FdSSr 'ibn
8ebRIah baS 2ebeu semaet...
GG' beiien oebentt Serr SdeTEuno
limb in ieinem bergen it's bsn,
limb unpiothrlid Ttreihelt Die Sanb
Semen lteben rSreueeieG" -.
So sudt elm 8lis! - @iS Sblue!-
uEb iab
Gin g8eeenihmal bribt b%erein--
limb ME iidb ba8 Sdiff gus ben @ui'
fern bebt,
Gteht Serr Slemunb - nlleiu -
limb elm @iufelu, bprtb-- aus benz
Gturmaebsul
v2oyit6nl Elm @utt baltet an!
lluS bas 8out biuab' Seer mix rettet
Den Suto
j3~e9ntaulea6 @uioen bent Mmln!"-
rUno bbtet SIR utr sebn 5unnor
@u&'s,
Midbt geh7 ih meiu Sopt baiEir!
@tdt reg id bic 5unb su Ssm @Ebr
iinusitEeif
Sci benz Sturfu uuo Z un ell
Igim!!"
Limb aHlt's eiucu Menidleu lReB
Sbr asih ben
CINE 5Gtte in icld5er Nott2"
~ginen Menidlens Ieiu, baB mid
@utt sebtt'!-
Dem he1fen tuGre 8ebpt~-
8oblam!" - llao bic aeiber oh
; reibeuh iprtnet
Serr Sasmuno in Die NIutb-
limb he fDppen brs gAif uub iterer,
bas Sppt
9urh &sOeen. uHb SturnestputE =
limb Der 5unb, er tuittert bic Nab
beS Serrn :
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29
mar, helm su beglelten.

Gas Sunntlsitulfeft Der ct.
Bauls 8emeinoe uiro am Muntae
ben 8. SUM, 8finetmontag nbaeaal'
ten perben. 60 tueroen aQe SOr'
tehruusen setrOffen UNI oieiea 8itnit
aneeuebm gu MAIDEN fur @roB uno
alein uno perben an uuterbaltuna
uno gririihuuaen tein Wanse! iein.
90 1T Sebermann berStia ein9e!aosn
5beti gu nebmeH.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29


Blauo b. 0ermann RostCDs'
Re bratte elm baIb Su5enb lunger
rUtber 5lbie bierber uelfe er an
". O. Birmingham sur G%usfeuun9
O%ertaufte.
SOhn Sable bat iit mad Bau'
tumis, Otla. beseteu ND er Seluno'
beitsbalber bleibeu nil.
- 8ep. Shlueter, BON SoOaam,
bat bnielbit ieine ablhieosprsoiai &C.
balten UNI ieinen in Geutiblano
tpDbnenoen Batter beiuten.
Sope. Gbeiter, Sobn unie-
res Sbmieoes s. s, 5euer fiel pom
8cetterbaufen uub brad ben 4rn.
Gas 8inblein Der gbeleute 90m
2snutt 1T am aiUutap seiUrbsn.
5rl. Sertpa Hlpppeln, Jun
Nurrilun, mar bier su Seiuh bel
ben 5rls. emma uno Clara StOd
Die Gp. Gbene3er @emeinbe,
aleite uetlit BON RpOrR, ruiro am
Mpntas ben 8. Suui ibr Sunntaa'
lbul Bitnit eeben.
gon. oummert, BON Norrtlon,
neblt Samilie par bier bel brant
S9oameper, len. 81 BeInh.
Drate. Der ebrtpurol9e
ntte Serr s. B. gappmeper @Ielerte
am Montaa ieinen So Ssburtsta9'
Bm. sAulte tast einen 6oxSo
6uB sroBen StnI bausn.
Die Grrittuns pom 3eleppon
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29
8ibelfeir

an Nittmo1 ben 8. SUM- in Der
$reibp. &emeinoe 81 2rate.
Gle 5reunoe Der 8ibel 8 Terbrel'
taneaIate Iino berslih einseiaoen.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

Die Rnaaretb @resbgterianer)
@emetnbe gu Sn!ss piro am RFne't'
mpntas 6. Suni) ibr Shat'Bitnit
abhalten unb 1T Setermann einsela'
ben oieiem 6eIte beisuuobuen. Sute
Ruiit uub @ririitunaen ben eanser,
Too.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

Obi bietet oas 2anb unn in reit'
lifer @abe,
i'm 9bal es, lei es aut ihpinos
climber Sob.
9pt3 aern nil if miiieu bic tDitli1e
2abe,
Dab tets id Godp Rountuiu Sbee.
gu baben bel &aIter Bros.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29
ssrmarr, mo-. Sr,itas Sen 20. Mai
0Aisieuer mssweii sr.
6eriebts .Germins.

6eridbts 'Germine.
Gounts,gourt, S~RtStlrdbist Gtrntrs btgtl-
T men am 4. Wlpntao Der Dlpuatt 5tbrnar. Dtal
NuauFt unb Noptmbsr. StsutrausgItth B.
hbr6s am !. Wouto9 i'm april.
Eirtutt. II. 8teGmdbiet dsrEint be-
piunsu am 2. WOuta9 Der Wtonoit Souuar, Vtat
nu0 September.
RrObatg.Gourt. Rts,Imdbtst 5srmin. b.
ainnen am 1. WpHtaa Der UtoEnte 5tbrunr
Mni, Guauii uub Sippsiibsr.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

Bel Girls 2ieteraeie feute iid leg
ten Samfas EN- tteines Raohen elm
&ir erntutiren!
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

Sn Stlabuma bat rllncle Sam"
iiber 1000 Sunoes /. 2~i5enien gum
8irtbi6oitsbetrieb ertheilt. Inn
10 etlpas ueunt iih &rubibttiuN
itaat
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

uguSt
Meyer as president, and E, +. Rippstein as
cashier OF said bank. each or us, do solemnly
swear that the above statement Is true 70 the
best OF our knowledge and belief.
AUGUST MEYER, j. +. RIPPS~ETN,
President. Cashier.
Subscribed and sworn TO before me, this 25th
day OF May A, D, nineteen hundred and
eight
witness my hand and notarial seal on the
date last aforesaid. Commissioned and qualt-
lied for n term expiring Dec, 18th 300
FRED. L. WENSEL
CSEAD Notary Public.
GEO. KRAETrLYJ
Correct JOHN II. HELMERS Directors.
Attest. L. ROBYNN
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

@oles&.eet {. 5rt. @tins
ME Bride if am Mittpoh tpieoer
nad st. 2ouis surltsetebrt.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

we, r. A. Breuer
as president. and a. u. Walker as cashier OF
said Bank each Of Us do solemnly swear that
the above statement is true 70 the best of our
knowledge and belief,
r A.. BREEJER. A. WALKER,
President. Cashier.
subscribed aand sworn to before me this 23rd
day OF May A. d. nineteen hundred and
eight,
Witness my hand and notarial seal on the
date last aforesaid.
WI. ELLIS
(SEAD Clerk OF the Circuit Court:
Correct ROBERT WALKER
Attest. HENRY GRASS Directors.
HY OCHSNER
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

StunpQiu. s. s. 8ar'
iiebt mar teste 8ode in Ct. Souls
um 8aaren fur ieineu Store einsu'
faufen.
3ie am MDntaa Tattsehabte
&erIammlune Der ueuen @esenieitis
gen 5euer Berfiheruues Seieuihaft
wurbe BON mebr als $50 @liebern
beiuht. Die neue Geieuihaft tibrt
ben Rnmen 8ueaf u. Berger Glib
gocietp, unb puroe mad SOeufi
9onnibjp uub ben stpei Berger
greetS aeuaunt.
9beU. 9umper uno bic 5rt2.
2aura uro 2ena Sur1per UareT1
Sonntas bel Srtbur SDGertiea 81
BE iut. 9beooOr tebrte nitlt nit
Seim, iUnbern tlieb BEL 8OuertSen
no er oseieu CONNER in arbeit
Iteben miro.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

@ilb iald1sehb bait iein @ebeI! -
9urdJ ben 5lutbidmaa tampit iif
Serr Sdemunb +;
SD tDnme, mein Sreuseiea!1
unb bas Boot nimnt lie auf - Die
Sdiifer, bic raub'n.
Sic iddnten Der 9brdnen iif nidt-
limb Der Serr bait umtlammert iein
treres Sbter,
Sas ledt linn 6anb unb @eiidt.
@epre8 Of er.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29
Official Statement
Of the FINANCIAL CONDITION
Charter Number OF Bank. No. 81
OF the
SAYINGS BAAKb>

It Hermann. State OF Missouri at the close OF
business on the i4th day of May 1909,
in the ADVERTISERS COURIER a
newspaper printed and published at Hermann.
state OF Missouri, on the 9th day OF May
9Oe.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29
Sur 4Hefor
MSir iinb autoriiiri
Senrn 9aRroru

pom Stclpe ulS Gonoioot iiir giieIipr arSu'
5eieen, uuier,uprieu Der GnildIeiouns Der res
~publifauiId,en prim6ruahI am 1. au9uit.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

En,ereI n TIE Post Once at Hermann "o' 50
ecopd class mail matter.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

9inien unter ben 5armern 1T epioe'
mild, uuo babeu gbilip, 5enrp uno
5ris @bter, Smith, NOrriip, Yrnnot
uno SeIemann iit Oer Central Gele.
phOne Co., aneelhlOIen, mabrenb
uiele Jarmer ibre ei8enen ainien
bauen.
~ Vim Tonneritae abenb fano
bier Elm 8pItenbrua iiatt Hno bot an
Der 8hirb Greet bas 8aiier utel SAa'
ben anaerihtet u. bic 8:ee unpaiiir.
bar semaht,
Der tleinen 2pbia 8uoat, IL
Sabre alt, puroe uermittelit elmer in
ct. Souls am Is. 0tai uoreenom'
menen Operation Elm Semahs Gu
mor) aus benz 9eib %entfernt. welhes
l6 Gfuub uueerehnet Der 8 Efuno
Slliiiateit, m0a. Sc mar cine Der
tunftreiditen Operation uelde lie
norsenummen muroe uno paren Gus
Ber mebreren beribmten Gbirursen
ett7a Elm 3usenb aer5te seeenpdrtie
uuter lestereu auh Or. NufberSeioe
pom bier. Gas Rdbten mar beim
Spiet bettia seeen cine SAuIbant
anselauien, unb entuidelte iih oa'
raul cine llnterleibs. 3erdttung uno
Badstbum uelhe nit Der 3eit un-
ertrdslid pprbe, unb Die be~rbelaeso.
eenen Nerste HuIber9eibe, Gerrel uno
@aselbrett cine Operation als bad
etnsiae Rettuuasmittel beseidneten,
0as MlSbden 1T auf gutter Seieruua.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29

Corr,tp-uh,u,,u nub e.u;,Esuneen non an9i'
meme SnisrtNe Hub .rttt.n, mhNtu ans e
son iraisH,nB WIttrr6u trr.tntu. tt1r e.
GnNtitn uni,rer gcrIsls're.ni.n mo ~
SSr,tbtrs mub ans In ulsn 5ansu rnis'-
thttlt tperbtn.
un,,,o.u ron n :hr es 6 Sob 6rbbt Tinntn
- ipStshsus 9uuulr stea DtorS.n ttn9erslui ntI'
Zen, Sad Spuuerstaq Utifta9 mtrofn "lHt
AnsstStu anstnorimen.
Hermanner Volksblatt. [volume] (Hermann, Mo.) 1875-1928, 1908-05-29
Official Statement
of the FINANCIAL CONDITION
Charter Number OF Bank No. 1881
OF the
MORRISON BANK

Ut Morrison. State OF Missouri at the close OF
business on the NIh day Of MAJ 1905
published In the ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS a
newspaper printed and published Ut Hermann
State of Missouri, on the eth daB OF May
1908.
RESOURCES
The Chanute times., 1908-10-16

of hoboes took place on the third
day of the convention and 1t was
watched by hundreds Of townspeo-
The Chanute times., 1908-10-16
GIRL WAS DELlRIOUS
With Fearful Eczema-Pain, Heat,
and Tinging Were Excruciatins-
Cutcura Acted Like Magic.

"An eruption broke out on my
daughters chest l took her to a
doctor, and he pronounced it to be
eczema of a very bad form. He treated
her, but the disease spread to her back
and then the whole of her head was
affected, and all her hair had to be cut
off. The pain she suffered was excru'
ciating, and with that and the heat
and tingling her life was almost un.
bearable. Occasionally she was deliri.
Gus and she did not have proper hours
sleep for many nights. The second
doctor we tried afforded her just as
little relief as the first. Then l pur-
chased Cuticura Soap, Ointment, and
Pills, and before the Ointment was
three-quarters finished every trace of
the disease was gone. 1t really seemed
like magic. Mrs. T. w. Hyde, Brent
wood, Essex, England, Mar s. 1907"
The Chanute times., 1908-10-16
THE WARPED SENSE OF HUMoR.

1t is a big thing to be born with sense Of
humor 1t will force smooth sailing lifes rough
est seas, and will make drudgery bearable.
The woman who cannot joke. even at her
own expense, is to be pitied-and so are her fun
loving friends. There is nothing harder on both
sides than a humorism that falls fiat.
The good people who are interested in the de-
crease Of divorce should have law passed that the
serious minded and the joker may not we'd 1t
means ructions ere the orange blossoms fade
A man not long ago bewaing broken
gagement friend who knew them both said
"It is the Lord taking a hand to save you from
a lifetime of misery. Georgia couldn't fun II
it were labeled JOKE, and you couldn't help jok-
ing though it meant separation from those you
loved best"
But it is thing to have sense Of humor and
another to have warped sense of humor. There
is no one more maddening than the person who
at mishaps and thinks it so funny" to
mortify his friends
You can afford to laugh-f you feel like it
when you fall in a crowded ballroom lose your
false puffs in church, but you have no friendship
so tender that will warrant q smile when friend
does the same
1t is the woman with the misplaced sense OF
humor who tells embarrassing anecdotes about fam
lily makeshifts, or who repeats good joke to
a common friend something you have said about
her but intended her to hear
One of these misplaced humorists is the husband
who thinks it funny to ask guest to have certain
dishes. and when she accepts to ten her I'VE
just out of It,"
Have you never been covered with embarrass-
ment by having such man ask you to say grace at
his dinner table and shrek with laughter at your
efforts to get out of 1t?
Then there are humorists who. when you tell
good story, think 1t smart" to receive It with
forced outlaws, and others who willfully refuse to
laugh at the point.
Laugh all you can, but have sense Of fitness
10 your laughing To joke over the bumps in your
own life will do much to smooth them; to find hu-
NOR in the mishaps Of your friends is soon to find
yourself friendless.
No matter how keen your sense OF humor use
discretion in sharing joke with q friend Humor
is like lightning. II rarely strikes twice In the
same way.