Tazewell Republican. [volume] (Tazewell, Va.) 1892-1919, 1908-09-24
NO PEDDLERs OR AGENTS.

-'.............-......-... ....................."
DO you see thatY" demanded tia
irate Jones.
Let ago my earl" cried the ped
der, who was a little. wizen-faced
Italian.
Read IT." commanded the man
whose house wasn't his castle.
The Italian stared at the sign. gave
his ear tug, and exclaimed: Sac-ra-
ment-ol"
You lei" Numbered Jones. That
sign reads: No Peddlers or Agents
L no can read-s de English"
squirmed the little alien.
Then take thati" and Jones Kicked
the peddler down the steps and out
at the front gate.
Jones was a retired grocer and
lived with his wife and daughter In
neat ore-story house set forward In
3Ox14O foot city lot. Having little
with which to occupy his time, and
wishing to prescribe who should and
who should not enter his home. he
had taken upon himself the labor of
answering the doOr-bell. OF late 9
plague OF peddleys was driving him
distracted.
he had just installed himself In bis
armchair and taken up the morning
paper when the bell again rang. He
got up with a muttered malediction.
went to the front door and opened Il.
Potatoes to-day. lady? Mica fresh?
Dollar a saclk,"
The peddler was a husky young fe1-
low OF hve-and-twenty, or thereabout.
and Jones paused. True. the fellow,
utterly regardless OF his sex. had
called him lady but thea-Well.
Jones had learned to consider dIscre-
ton the better part of valor, and so.
scrowling horribly, he slammed the
door In the peddler's face.
After ringing the bell time or two
by way of diversion the potato-hawker
went his way, and again Jones In
stalled himself In his chair. as a won,
derfu Idea came and entered his brain
and buzzed about bit. like a honey
bee in the wrong hive. He would at
tach nickel-in-the-slot machine to his
gate, so arranged that all who wished
TO como through the gate would first
nave 10 deposit a nickel In the ma,
chine. This would prevent peddlers
entering his yard and ringing his door
bell. But then-NoI The peddlers
would I'LL up the machine with brass
slugs, and torment him as often as
ever.
Bz-z-z-z-z-z-zI
The sound of the electric bell
whlrred through the house like that
OF a fire alarm, and with three strides
Jones was on his feet and at his front
door.
Amy needles. pins. hAirpins, safety
pins, thread, sealing-wax, china-mend-
ing-cement. ironing-wax, soap. per
fume. corn-salve. cold-cream, dandruff-
cure, shaving-soap, tooth-brushea, nail
brushes, hair-brushes, combs, hand
mirrors. chewing-gum. thimbles-"
The peddler paused for breath, and
Jones, having sized I'D the fellow,
gathered himself into a battsring-ram
and made rush Another instant
and the neighbors beheld q small, lean
peddier flying down the steps of Jones
house. with the sx-grocer In hot pur-
suit. The peddler took the gate AZ a
leap, but HIS purEuer, being stout and
rusty. Wac compelled to stop where the
fence began, and thence he hurled i'm
potent maledictions down the street.
When the peddlsr was out Of sight,
Jones returned to his castle, brought
out q huge paddock and chain, and
chained tbs gate fast Some small
boys saw him. and no sooner had he
retired to his armchair than the
youngsters climbed the low fenoe and
rang the bell until the battery gave
out. Whereat, the excited ex-grocer
came forth with rush-and succeed
ed in knocking the fneftenstvs letter
carrier down the front steps.
Jones removed the paddock and
chain from the gate and considered.
He might get q cannoR, load It, set 1t
Ga his front porch. and place over its
mouth the sign. mo Peddlers or
Agents." This idea he Immediately
surrendered for the more hrilltont