The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1908-12-30
IT is EMBARRASSING.
SITUATIONS THAT ARE ACCOUNTING 70
MRS. coUNTRlFlED.

Nice Things at Home, the Ever
Changing Etiquette of the Swell
City Dinner Bothers Her.
sit was splendid" she exclaimed, her
cheeks aglow and her eyes bright withlex.
element. "Seven courses-not counting
the oyster cocktail to begin wtth-.and1
never made q misstroke with fork or knife,
and there was no end Of brand new nipple,
ments too. I came near making q terrible
miscue, though, with the oyster cocktail
You see, the dining room was rather dark,
being lighted only with pink shaded cans
dies, and In the gloom the cocktail looked
Just like q sherbet. I couldn't imagine, OF
course, what a sherbet was doing there at
that time, but it was not mine to reason
why. and so I plunged boldly In, resolved
to do or die with the, first weapon that
seemed at all fitted to meet the sherbet
emergency, and I came dreadfu1ly near to
dying with modification. For q fraction
Of q second I hesitated between q long,
slim handled spoon. and a short, fat, gold
lined one, and then, with what I.oonstder-
ed marvellous forethought, I decided the
long, slim handled one could better be
spared for future contingencies and select-
ed the short, fat one. And I was Just tot
tering on the brink of that cocktail with
it in my fingers when I looked up and be-
held the hostess eating hers with an oyster
fork. Ny arm actually was palsied, I was
30 stunned, and I had great difficulty In
making anything like my usual d~exterous
sliphtninp chanpe.' I didn't fully recover
from the until well INTO the soup.
But the best part OF the luncheon ait.
er all, was that there was another country
relation there besides myself. She sat right
opposite me, poor thing, just gioaoeo
over her misery. u anything, sneSWas
more OF a freshman mani because sne nad
not been graduated rom the Waltlng 70
See what others do stage, and with each
new course placed before her oonid zee
the terrible mental'struggie that was go-
ing On and<knew just how her mind was
being torn with doubts between the long
tined fork for the entreo and the short
thin n for the salad Oh,t was pitiful
the way her poor little country relation
fingers tremhled over the R4tves and forKs
and spoons. / knew she felt Just the way
you do when you watch the dentist hunt
ing around among his tools for some new
instrument to torture you with. Really ]
sympathized with her from the bottom Of
my heart, but I could not resist thetss--upe
tation to lead her astray once ortwice, and
honestlysit was the best kind q 'aiesson,
for 1t win teach her the folly Of the wait
ing to see what others do habit That Il
suchsa weak, y6cfllating policy, you know,
that really bythe time IA ssalad Is reached
yon haven mind OF u Q WE left and,
besides, TT demands .sdchaan unreienttng
surveillance over the other gnnsts that
your tongue, which should3be your most
powerful ally IN concealing yourr tgno5
rance, is efectpally bfidled, andsthe mark
Of the country relation is branded upon
you as certainly as though you had looked
at: some dish the butler was serving and
had REFUSED to take any-andt that reminds
.me!of how I once forgot the exception to
the ruIe and did something atrociousfy
WORSE
ut was some time ago, when It was the
custom to pass great hsaping baskets of
fruit. It was altogether 8 decorative
course, and the guests were expected to
take a grape or two or q fresh fig with
which the basket was ornamented and
leaye&the foundation of larger fruit undis.
turbed. As I saw the basket making tho
circuit of the table I was so overcome with
fear that an orange would be thrust upon
me and that I would not know tho latesa
method Of dissecting it, that when the
butler. finally reached me and I saw Q big
yellow banana exposed I grabbed for II
r~ayenously, as though 7 had not tasted
ga L. -o.L, ~ Loo0o1o5 ~ ~ oI~,oox
the last one, and as I glanced up I saw In
an instant what I had done. There were
all the other guests daintily nibbling at .
tiny grape or a fig and there was that
CHASTITY, hideous, awful banana in front
of me.
,."I was ms then, and I presume my
imagination was more highly keyed up
at n rate that banana held me In q hor.
rrible speI-fascinated me. I~,oonldn't get
my mind away fromit And as I sat there,
with my eyes glued upon 1t, it seemed to
change into q horrible, monstrous, grim.
ming thing that leered at me and taunted'
me with my poor country bred manners.
COT course it was a trivial, insignidcant
thing, and I doubt whether any OF the
guests noticed 1t at all, but I had been an
Eticigattng and dreading that &C
long u my nerves were 90 oVerwrought
that when the affair was all over q the
hateful thing had been remover 1 actually
and l registered q VOW That never as long
as l lived would l % entloeo away rom
my own humble eaoie again:
OF course you "no uYo upon. suon
timers every DAY OF nVes, q young
woman went on, uOulClQR IO1 GQ0 uIHG Glm6