davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27
HUNOR OF THE Day

Of de Leon ofP to AmeFca il
the contnent a that time sff
Herald.
The bachelor is worse off than the
married man" How do. you make that
out? The married man is afraid of only
one woman: the bachelor is afraid of all
of them Houston Post.
Mrs Crimsonbeak-See how nicely that
team OF horses go along. Why can't man
like that? Mr.. .Crimsonbeak-weil, you
those two horses.-Yonkers Statesman.
A man very much intoxicated was taken
to the station. WHY did you not bail him
Cyan hm o1 b 9xea@eo OF the f 9tber
Why. you couldn't pump him out. Phil
adelphia Press
-. DO you think man "a. ought to be great;
Senator Sorghum. lit isn't desirable. But
sometimes you can't prevent mans party
from shrinking. "-Washington Star.
young man. said the heavy father.
my daughter has been accustomed to
live? She has always had every luxury
Globe.
AREN'T trusts illegal?'' THE answer"
answer Senator Sorghum, depends on
whether you expect me to speak as a
ington Star.
Did you know, Willie, that your big
X31r family next sundayG asked ME-
brother. Ma and pa told her they want
ed to see what kind of table manners
Your mother tells me you've been
boy l was whipped hard every time I
was bad; But you hadn't as good or
! sT- suppose you heard about our young
eration?. His father laid him flat and
cut off his allowance. Boston Transcript
yes" remarked Farmer Hodge. my
boy Joe gets 5000 deal daas g fun fun out OF
chine" "Of course not. He's one o. the
constables." -Philadelphia Inquirer.
"I dreamt I dwelt in marble halls"
shrieked the soubrsttei; ,,- as she praneesd
dGt ThG Tok @a5 IN the 'front.' the
Columbus Dispatch.
you've headed this article More Bub-
aging editor well. that ain't far enough
from the truth to hurt" responded the
culprit with grin.-Pittsourg POST
Weary wa1ker--Dis paper seq .dey's
TO begin any work on Friday. Ragson
about ev'r-- day in de week.-The Catholic
Standard and Times.
Julia-The man I married was in love
with himself. Marie-It's lucky for you,
my child. that he wasn't In love with his
Among the oldest personals" ever in
serted in the Society column was one
that, appeared in paper published in an
Iowa town. 1t read as follows; Mrs
Coulter being confined to her bed by ILL
ness. will not be at home next Thursday
Sunday School Teacher-Well Johnny,
have you had anything during the week
10 be especially thankful for? Johnny
Yes ma'am. Sunday School Teacher
What was It? Johnny-Billy Jones sprain-
I'd his wrist yesterday and i licked MIN
'or the first time.-Chicago News.
Howard says he has four mothers
How does he make 1t out!' own, co.,
ten and n-law."-Harper weekly.
Towne-Yes. my wife is able to dress on
little money. Browne-O!
.Ome noWi Comparatively ltttleT Iowne-
mean a little compared with what she
links she ought to have.-Philadelphia
Press.
De Roads-Mister I found the dorg your
wife Is advertiser afterward NV s. for. Mr..
'aw-You did. Ell? De Roads-Yes; and II
ON don't gimme so I'll take it back to
?-Philadelphia Inquirer.
AshIev-Do you have much variety in
our boarding. house? Seymour-Well, we
ave three different names for the meals
mart Set.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

at dreamt I dwelt in marble halls
shrIeked the souprTt9e , as she pE s4 sec
idiot who woke you up" growled the
scanty-haired man in the front row
Columbus DISPATCH.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

you've headed this article More Bub-
BILE in the Talkans." complained the man
aging editor. well, that amt far enough
from the truth to hurt" responded the
culprit with a grin.-Pittsburg Post
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

Young man." said the heavy father.
do you understand the style in which
my daughter has been accustomed to
live? She has always had every luxury
she wanted" And now I'm the luxury
she wants" murmured the suitor.-London
Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

do you think a man ought to be great
er than his party?" We'll" answered
Senator Sorghum, cit isn't desirable. But
sometimes you can't prevent a man. party
from shrinking. "-Washington Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

did you know. Willie. that your big
sister had invited me to take dinner with
your family next Sunday" asked Mr..
Newbeau. 'Surer' replied her little
brother. Ma and pa told her they want
ed to see what kind of table manners
you've got"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

your mother tells me you've been
naughty again today. When 1 was
boy 1 was whipped hard every time 1
was bad" But you hadn't as good or
wise a father as 1 have. "-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

Aren't trusts illegal?' 1.-THE answer"
answer Senator Sorghum, depends on
whether you expect me to speak as a
campaign orator or as a lawyer. Wash
ington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

quite few people dat thinks it's unlucky
to begin any work on Friday. Ragson
Tatters-WelI OATS a good beginnin'.
Mebbe after while people'u be dat sensible
about ev'r-- day in de week-The Catholic
Standard and Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

yes" remarked Farmer Hodge, my
boy. Joe. gets a good deal o. fun out of
motor cars" But he doesn't own ma
chine" "Of course not. He's one O. the
constables. ''-Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

A man very much intoxicated was taken
to the station. WHY did you not bail him
out? inquired a bystander of a friend.
Bail him OUT" exclaimed the other.
why. you couldn't pump him out."-Phil-
adelphia Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

( .T- suppose you heard about our young
friend. Spender, undergoing a serious OPP
eration?" His father laid him flat and
cut off his allowance. Boston Transcript.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

Mrs. Crimsonbeak-See how nicely that
team OF horses go along. Why can't man
and wife trot along pleasantly together
like that? Mr.. Crimsonbeak-Weh you
see. there is only one tongue between
those two horses.-Yonkers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

Julia-The man I married was In love
with himself. Marie-It's lucky for you,
my child. that he wasn't in love with his
money.-Puck.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

Ponce de Leon came to America in
search of eternal youth" Foolish, eh?''
Rather. There wasn't drug store on
Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

THE bachelor is worse off than the
married man" How do you make that
out?' THE married man is afraid of only
one woman: the bachelor is afraid of all
Of them. Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

Among the oldest "personals' ever in
serted in the society column" was one
that appeared in a paper published iil, an
Coulter being confined to her bed by i'll
ness. will not be at home next Thursday
as usual ''-Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-27

, Sunday School Teacher-Well, Johnny
have YOU had anything during the week
to be especially thankful for? Johnny
Yes ma'am Sunday School Teacher
What was IT? Johnny-Billy Jones sprain-
ed his wrist yesterday, and ! licked him
for the first time.-Chicago News
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10

Job Printing done right Times Print
ing Co, Is John R-st. Phone 1895
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
MICHIGAN, So FAR,
VO|CELESS IN
CONVENTION
EDWIN HENDERSON, WHO
FHowNs ON THE BRYAN AMsI.
TON. MAY SPEAK BUT TONE
WILL BE LUoUsRloUs.
BY JAMES scHeRMERHoRN.

CONVENTION HALL. DENVER.
Co.,. July 9.-Michigan has a few rep
resentatives here. whose declaration
for Bryan takes the form OF Here's
the man We are for, but none OF us
wants"
Edwin Henderson Is one OF the I'M
reconciled. He does not fancy the
continuity OF the Bryan ambition and
his self-sufiiciency. nor what he con-
siders the recklessness with which the
Nebraskan Is using his power against
the Long Tom" Democratic stalwarts.
Henderson does not think Bryan can
win, deplores the drift toward social.
ism and mourns that there is not TO
be new lease OF life for the party
under Johnson.
IL opportunity offers, he will relieve
his depressed spirits In the conven-
ton which, while II Will be at once
lost in the engulting Bryan enthus-
iasm. will give Michigan the only voice
IL has contributed 10 all this mighty
convocation excepting the few min
utes OF sonorous periods contributed
by Former Son" Towne, last night
Michigan is practically voiceless here
in discussions or nominations.
Ferris Has Hopes.
1t is apparent that Prof Ferris is
not keeping himself out OF the zone OF
political ambition. He is a prominent
figure at the Michigan headquarters
and gives no sign of being afraid OF
what the Wolverine state Is liable 10
do in a presidential year.
Ferris and Reform Is more timely
now, In view OF the wretched Warner
regime, than when he made his mag
nlfcent campaign Of four years ago.
Ferris has the sturdy moral fibre to
Mt into such a marshalling OF party en-
platform
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
HITCHCOCK CONFERS
WITH VIM. H. TAFT

HOT SPRINGS, Ark. July 9.-Frank
II. Hitchcock, Taft's newly-made cam.
paign manager, arrived here from
Washington this morning and had a
brief conference with his chief over
the selection Celn executive commit
tee. bu' ..othing~ definite was decided.
abc..t anybody.
II will be left for Mr. Hitchcock 70
decioc whether Senator Hemenway.
Who Is mentioned as the probable lead
or OF the western forces. is the man
to do the trick in very important terri
tory.
Geo. Sheldon, of New York, who.
Yesterday VAS elected treasurer of the
national committee to succeed Treas
urer Bliss. is the president Of the
Union League club OF New York and
was treasurer of the Republican state
committee when Hughes ran for gov
prLOr.
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
MAY ORDER >RE-ARREST
OF SMITH WOMAN

Annie Smiths personal bond of
$500, which was required of her when
she was arraigned on charge o..
keeping house of ill4fame. in tho
recorders court last March. was de.
clered forfeited by Judge Phelan We'd
nesday afternoon The womans re-
arrest may be ordered later In the
meantime Annie's exact whereabouts
remain mystery
1t Is rumored that Annie Smith tool;
a large sum of money with her when
she left Detroit Whether she oh
tanned II all from converting some IF
her property into cash or whether her
pile" was augmented from other
sources, are questions now flying
around The American Brewing Co..
which has large claim against An
ME- may take possession of the prop
erty at No. Solvay.ave., which An
ME was buying on contract
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
NO SUBSTITUTION

\ lady said 20 rs recently.
"A like TO send my children
to kinsels for drugs for they
always come home with cN-
actly what ask them TO got.
! have sent them 10 many
other stores and time and
again they would be taken adj
vantage OF. and come home
bringing some substitute for
what wanted. ana ! suppose
the druggist would give them
what ne could make the most
money on. no matter what
my wishes were In the mat
ter
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
Workmen Killed.

COLOGNE. July 9.--The new bridge
under construction over the Rhine at
Cologne fell In today and many Of
the workmen engaged on the structure
lost their lives Up to noon IL bodies
had been recovered and nine men had
been taken from the water seriously
injured. II is believed several bodies
are still In the water
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
FIRE SWEEr ~..IADlA'
500; LOSS is $4,000

SAULT STE MARIE, 'Hch., July 8.
Especial Fires. occurring stimuli
taneously early today IN different
parts OF the Canadin 500. did $4,000
damage. as follows
500 Falls Brewing Co, loss $4,000;
insured Grand Central hotel. loss
$4,000. insured; O'Connor's shoe store.
loss $4,000. insured Seymour's groc-
cry. loss about $4,000; insurance un-
known: Bradford's Cigar store. con
siderably damaged.
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
POLICE AGAIN AFTER
THE SLOT MACHINE

Detectives Black and Good Of the
central precinct. seized two slot ma
chimes OF the poker type In Gurneys
saloon, No. IL Congress-st east
Thursday morning. and attracted con
siderable attention by carrying the
machines 10 central station on their
backs. The machines Will be destroy
ed. This is the first seizure made in
some time.
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
DEMOCRATIC
CONVENTION
(Continued from First PngeD

dency with the provision that no vote
should be taken until after the pla;
form had been reported and adopt
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
Could, Now Reconciled.

NEW YORK. July 8 THE action OF
Gould vs.. Gould for divorce has been
stricken from the court calendar and
II is reported the couple have become
reconclled The case was called yes,
terday and, there were no attorneys
for either side present The court
then ordered the case OF the records
Neither Mr nor Mrs Gould will make
a statement
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
CAP. FOWLER FACES
CHARGE OF SMUGGLING

Horace Fowler was arraigned on
a charge OF smuggling before Judge
Swan Thursday morning. He plead
ed not guilty and will be tried next
week. Fowler was formerly captain
of a boat touching al ports along the
St. Clair river. He is accused OF hav
irg brought over lot OF silver 10
Trancetta j. Courtney. formerly cook
on his boat. when she moved from
Canada to Marine City
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
REP. COUNTY COMMITTEE
DECIDEDLY ANTI-WARNER

MUSHROOM. Mich. July O. (Spe.
cial) AT meeting OF Republican
county committee today, Chas. Is.
Cross was elected chairman. Henry A.
Wolf, secretary. and John VI. Moore
treasurer This committee is distinct.
IL anti-Warner.
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
u1NF CROPS FloIlpisu

LANSING. Mich, July 9-(Spe.
cial. The crop report for June. Is
TO be in good condition. a heavy
yield OF fruit is predicted and other
crops appear to be progi essing favor.
ably.
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
ollie James Takes Stand.

Indiana yielded TO Kentucky. and
Congressman ollie James took the
stand The big eKntuckian is popu-
lar. He is good speaker TO such 3
crowd He thinks Bryan is the great
est man that ever lived and he doesn't
care who knows IT, AS the conyen-
ton thinks the same way. he soon had
the whole crowd cheering almost con-
tinuously lie vas given the finest
spontaneous sample OF enthusiasm
when he concluded. despite the cries
of Go on: go on" that has been
seen here outside the Bryan demon
STATIONS As he went To his seat
more than once the remark was heard.
THAT speech Is likely 10 get for
tSontinucd ON rage scven.D
The Detroit times., 1908-07-10
oLAzlER CASES PUT OVER.

MASON. Mich, July 9.-(SpeciaI)
Upon a showing that former State
Treasurer f. T. Glazier is still ner-
vous. excitable and mentally incom.
petent TO direct his defense. the three
grand jury cases against him sthis
morning were continued until the Sep
TENDER term OF court.
Alaska sentinel., 1908-02-13
WERE FORGED TO BUILD

It has been often said that necessity is the mother of invention" This waE borne out recently by aome native boys whose boat went adrft, leaving them marooned on an island which ia seldom visited, No sooner had they found that they were "up against the real thing when they commenced to build them. selves boat. Among their camp ictas were brace and some. bits, plone, a drawknife, and double -bitted ax. Hay ing no lumber except what drift lumber they could find along the beach, they cut down some cedar trees and split them into boards of sufficient length. They dressed the boards. by hand, as they did also keel and stem and stern tim bers. The ribs, were made of yellow cedar, bent and burned toshape. The fastenings were made by boring holes and driving in wooden pegs, except in few places which were fastened. with nails taken from drift. boxes and lum- ber- Calking was made from the inner bark of cedar trees. The affair waa necessarily crude, but it suffieed to get the boys safely home,
Alaska sentinel., 1908-02-13

NOTICE is hereby given that have purchased book accounts due and owing Ito F. W. CaIfyon, my predecessor in the mercantile busidess in Wrangell, as per bill of sale filed at Commissioners office 3rd inst. All parties concerned are re- quested to govern themselves accord lngly and to make settlement with me. r. MATHEsON.
 Picture frames and framed pictures at half price at W. c. Waters.
 The launch Anita is on the ways for repairs, at c. P. Coles shop.
 Howard Hungerford and Charley Ben jamin were in from their trapping camp during the week
 "Chips" Col9 last week laGnched the remodeled boat belonging to Jimmy Bradley and Tommy. Jackson, and she is a "peach." The new beat was named Northern Light.
 While customers are suffering from cold and blizzards, we Alaskans enjoy warm sunshine and are quite comfort able outdoors in our shirt sleeves. State papers, please copyl
 By removing a ,rickety old fence and cutting away a lot ef. wild. .shrubbery, Mir Chapman has; been making marked improvement to the Patching property in the west end. of town.
 "Dad' Smith has been clearing the brush from the patch of ground east of the dairy, and as soon as he can grub out about seventeen million stumps and roots, will plant a garden.
 This paper closes it's. forms Wednes- day of each week, and if you wish to get anything into the paper or have your ad. changed, the copy must be left at the office not laterthan Tuesday night.
Alaska sentinel., 1908-02-13

4,t
 Take your prescriptions to the Baker Drug Go. 1010tf.
 Druggist J. H. Wheeler, Harry Gartley Walter Waters and Charlie Bielby went trout fishing in Mill Lake, Sunday. We didn't hear how many.
 'Yanco Terzich, president of Douglas Island Miners Union No. 1O9, passed through on the Seattle for Ketchikan, on business trip. He reports D. I. N. U. in aourishing condition.
 Mrs. sergt. Willis 0. Perry and infant son are here on visit to Sergt. and Mrs. J.. A. Perry, haying come down on the Seattle from. Sitka where the. sergt. is an attachee, of the cable office. The two sergeants Perry are brothers. Judge Ed. DeGroff was a southbound passenger on the last Seattle to attend to business connected with his Chicagoff Island mining property. With a small mill this mine. has produced s107, ,o0O since last September; and the end is not yet.
 A party of five men arrived in last Sunday in small gasoline launch after a rather rough trip from Petersburg. They came Saturday as far as Five-Mils Island, but thought the last crossing too ..'lumpy," so they went to anchor in the lee of the island until Sunday morning. A post card from f.M Car1yon and wife, dated at Pasadena, Calif.; Jannary ?, says that they are having very.en- juyable trip: and that before they come home they will % through Mexico and several of the rseuthern states,, They send kind regards to all old friends in Wrsngell. P D. .: ...
 The A1aska-TreadSell Record accuses SENTINEL of the awful crime of being the mouthpiece of the Western Federation of Miners, and we "scknowledge the corn;" in fact, we have always made it a point, when two evils were to be chosen between, to choose the lesser. We are proud to uphold the w. F. of NJ. in it's struggle against monopoly, and here's another health to Douglas Island Miners Union. This toast includes even the arch-criminal and alleged (by the Alaska-Treadwell Record) squaw.bsa.er, Sevald Torkelsen. = =
Alaska sentinel., 1908-02-13
ERNEST
 ROBIN
 SUICIDES
Man About Town Cuts His Own Throat
 From Ear to Ear.

Lying across a bed saturated with his own blood, and with his throat cut from ear to ear, bloody razor lying between his feet on the floor, was the condition in which John Norton found "Ernie" Robin, about o'clock Monday evening, when he (Notton) went into his room in the Cassiar rooming house. Marshal Grant and Dr. Hughes were quickly summoned snd found the body still warm, but with life extinct, evidencing the fact that death had occurred but short time before the ghastly discovery was made. A coroner's jury was then empaneled, and upon examination of the room, found severcl letters and . bunch of photographs. Under the body were found small ax, a jackknife and razor, from which it was presumed that he had chosen between chopping into his brain with the ax or cutting his throat with one of the other instru- ments, and the bloody condition of the razor plainly showed that 1t had been the ohs used. No evidente of violence was found, and the verdict of the jury was that death had been caused by his own hand. The presimption was that the deed was actuated by state of de- spi0ndenty and temtorary mental aber- ration induced by chronic alcoholism.
 William Ernest Robin was a native of Canada who came to Wrangell about the time of the fire in 1906: He was a very polite and gentlemanly fellow; and his actions and intercourse with those who knew him indicated good breeding and more than an average education. He was known to have received numer- ous letters and pictures from his people in Eanada, and had often expressed a desire to accumulate t sum Sufficient to go "back home"; and it is supposed that brooding, with his brain weakened by an excessive use of alcoholic liquors. | was the cause of the 6omtnission of his last rash act ,\,,t ,. :.
 "Erpie", as he was familiarity known, was familiar figure on car streets. as he worked at almost any kind of work, He was particularly well knowr about the wharf, where he rarely failed to be while freight was being discharged from the steamers. He was heavy thinker, but exhbiled little evidence of intoxica- ton at any time.
 LArER-Upon cleaning the corpse it develops that in his determination to end his life, he had cut his wrist and stabbed himself twelve times in the chest. A scar in the forehead indicates that he had struck himself with the ax.
Alaska sentinel., 1908-02-13
The Clatawa arrived in Friday after

The Clatawa arrived in Friday after noon from a week s fishing trip to the vicinity of Deer Island. Fish were not very, plentiful, but the crew succeeded in getting three boxes of. salmon, two halibut and scores of rcd cod. During their absence they came across the log ging outfits of Royalty and Leonards and Locker, Edson & Danningberg. Joe and Johnny Baronovich and wives hap pened along at about the same time, and for two nights the crowd of friends made the welkin ring with dancing and mirth. Prof. Edson played upon several differ ent: instruments and the dances were held on Royalty & Leonard's big sccw. Sergt. McNarney was quite sick for q day or two during the trip.
 A young Quaker, writing to his father in Pennsylvania, told him of the trout of Alaska sometimes attaining a weight of three poands, to. which the old man replied: "My son, John, I am. pained that thy trip into the west has led thee from me paths of truth, for such trout is thee mentions is truly impossible. '" The young man then got trout which weighed four pounds and had it frozen in the center of big chunk of ice, and shipped it by express, c. o. D. It cost the old man $l4.5O, and in short time the young fellow received these lines "My son, John, thee need not prove thy statements. It is too expensive. Here after we will take thee at thy word. N. Svindseth returned home from Petersburg in the Seattle.
Alaska sentinel., 1908-02-13

, The big launch Sea Girt will leave the floating dock near.Wrangell Hotel next Sunday morning at; 7'o'clock for Konk's Greek, and all who want to have day of fine sport, fishing through the ice, are welcome. The fare will bee,nominal. A stop will be made for those who wish to fishat Pats Lake. Bring your lunch. ..
 A class will soon be organized here for the study of Esperanto, the new world language. Any person wishing to joir, will leave his name at th3s office.
 Born Feb. 6, 1908, to Mrs. T. J. Case, a bouncing baby boy.
 Claire Snyder came in from Klaw acl yesterday morning.