The Washington herald., 1908-08-25

short time ago q certain Chicago
newspaper offered a prize for the most
original advertisement for a Sunday issue
Among those received was the following:
-Wanted-Foung man in tsiI wants 20
get out: suggestions solicited that might
result in immediate release; wants poets
address who wrote: Stone walls DO not
q prison make. nor iron bars q cage
address John L Silber. County JAIL
This so tickled the public that readers
OF the paper became Interested in the
man and, as the result OF an agitation.
his pardon was granted by the governor
OF the State.
Frankness is the soul Of honesty. and
ne 'er-do-wells might do worse than follow
the example Of another Chicago man
named Cullen. who, the other day, in
serted the following in the Situations
{ Wanted" columns Of q paper:
Station wanted by a worthless. good
for-nothing fellow. six feet tall. built Ike
a match. wearing specs. aged 1s. but
easily passes for .; was graduated from
grammar school. and have had . differ
ent positions in the last Ave years, mostly
clerical, with railroads and commercial
/ houses, so far I an q failure, having
dealt myself the worst cards in pack: I
/ smoke. chew, drink. gamble, I have
{ reached the crossroads. but II there IS
still a man who viii take q chance VIII
call for inspection"
His Cool Asdacity Wins.
! The cool audacity OF this "ad' wants a
/ lot OF beating. But 1t is closely approach
/ ed by one OF two which have appeared
in English papers lately The following,
I for instance. which was inserted N the
{ Morning Post q week or two ago:
! Two young university men. with most
Of the qualities necessary FOR making
living, except the capacity for work.
which IS not n exact accordance with
their tastes. advertise in the hope that
some unconventional philanthr0pist who
IS wise enough 70 realize that hard work
IS not necessarily the remedy for youth
fUI restlessness may be willing 70 pro
vide them with Al annuity OF about $40
each. III order 20 enable them 70 rent and
keep a small cottage IN the country.
where they may prosecute al their Ie5s-
IRE those studies 70 which their natures
most incline them. Correspondence in
lvited- Address-''
Here is another pathetic appeal for help
inserted IN a London daily
The Bitter Irony Of Life-A good feI-
ilow-One who has benefited charities 70
the extent OF thoUsands-with charming
wife and children is nov on the ROCKS
He needs temporary assistance only.
which VIII be amply repaid on completion
tof business he has on hand; advertiser
unable himself 10 help
Il is sad indeed to think that so gen
terous-minded q man Is forced 10 such an
extremity
Fourth Estate Appeals for Aid.
Another phHanthropisc Is wanted By
An old newspaper boy. who. Unaided
and against fearful odds. has reached an
honorable position. salary S1c31 wishes
10 give his ffteen-year-oId son. eldest Of
four. . be-Jer-Class education. but. owing
10 pressure OF old debts mainly incurred
for own education. IS without necessary
fees VIII any rich. chiIdIess philan-
tthropist lend ha1d2 Inquiries solicited"
II would appear that honesty is not re-
garded as altogether the best policy n
modern business. judging from the fol-
lowing advertisement cuIled from =
Vienna journal
Wanted, by important firm. CONNER
cial agent; good talker, arrogant and IN
scrupUlous; good salary, with prospect OF
increase If satisfactory all round"
Is married or military life the best
training for man2 The question Is sus-
gested by this advertisement, which aD-
peared q few days ago Wanted. a
warehousemsn- Applicants must be ac-
cUstomed 10 rigorous discipline Only the
officers Of such candidates viii be enter
tained who have served in the army or
been married for q COlsidera bIe length
! Of time"
Much Cheaper TO Be Buried.
: The amusing announcement Of the uu-
dertaker who asked people why they
, , walked about the streets when they could
be cheaply buried for So IS recalled by
the following ads, which appeared in q
couple Of continental papers; For sale.
family vault; looks due south; room for
two The second announcement read:
/ 'Well-bUilt vault 10 dispose OF. in charm
ing residential neighborhoOd on Nanur
line, half an hour by rail from Brussels,
= at . per cent less than cost price