davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
PUMPKIN PIE.

Take away yUur fancy puddinss with
their highly favored sauces,
And your rainbow colored ices, all so
tempting to the eye,
And your cakes of many layers crowned
with wreeths of sugar roses,
Like the flowers of wax our parloTs used
to boast I'm days gone by,
For these daInties are not in 1t for min
ute when beside them
Lal A disk of brown and yellow, thick
and luscious. we espy,
And we reach with eager longing and the
appetite of twenty
For a creamy golden segment Of deli
cious pumpkin pie
All the dreams of home and mother that
the dust of years have covered,
While as fortuue's battered football we
were always on the fly,
Come to soothe our ruhied spirits with
the vision OF a farmhouse
In green and quiet valley and beneath
a cloudless sky
There the big round pumpkins ripened in
the sunny fields Of autumn,
And we watched the stems each morn.
ing till we found them brown and
dry.
Then we plucked the globes in triumph
and we bore them to the kitchen
Where they soOn were sliced Id .yady
to be baked in pumpkin pie.
Oh, the BritOn loves plum pudding, and
the French delight In trufIies,
And for sauerkraut and sausage does
the exiled Teuton sigh,
And a dish of macaroni peases most the
dark Italian.
While for bowls of oatmeal porridge all
the Scottish babies cry.
But to every son of freedom, whether
born In old New England
or beyond the rugged Rockies or the
proud Sierras high
Or among the cane and cotton and mag
nolias down In Dixie.
There Is nothing quite so tasty as a
piece of pumpkin pie
.-Minna Irving I'm New York Press
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
ELIzAsErH,s FEAR.
What the Little One Thought Her
Aunty Would Be Apt TO Do.

Mrs. Jones was going to the GENE
terry to visit her mothers grave and
had taken the five-year.old daughter
of her most intimate friend with her.
The child had always called her
"aunty" and evidently wished to know
the fun particulars of the mothers
death.
"Aunty, did your mother die lying
down or sitting up?"
"Never mind, dear. | do not remem-
ber Here we are, and l am going to
plant some seeds, so you can play
around If you like"
Mrs Jones had planted the seeds
and was gently raking the earth back
when she saw Elizabeth coming to-
ward her with most horrified express.
sion upon her face.
"Oh, look out, aunty; you might rake
your mother upw--Lippincotts Maya
zine.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Too Suggestive.

Wimbleton-H Simpelton! How
did you enjoy your visit to the insane
asylum the other day?
Simpelton-Oh, so-so 1t was all
right enough, guess.
Wlmbleton-Well. you don't talk as
though you were much impressed with
IL. Did you give the superintendent
my note of introduction?
Simpelton-Yes, gave 1t to him.
Wimbledon Well, what did he say?
Simpleton-Oh, he just looked at me
and said, MAKE yourself at home
Lippincotts Magazine.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
A Definition.

"Now, Johnnie. you may define the
word taXldermist," said Miss Rodd,
"A taXidermlst IL feller that runs
tuXicab," said Johnnie.
"No. dear" said Miss Rodd. "A taxi
dermist Is man who stuffs birds.
Have you never seen oneF"
"Yessum," said Willie. "Our doctor
came TO dinner last night, and the way
he stuffed turkey showed that he must
be a taXldermist." New York Herald.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

During the month of October four,
teen thin skinned subscribers of the
Kicker, all living within a radius of
fifty miles of this town, refused their
copies of the paper at the postottice
for one reason or another. This, of
course, is an insult on us. Next week
we shall mount our broncho and pay
each man a visit. We shall have our
guns with us, and we warn them sepa-
rately and collectively that they want
II good excuse handy. The Kicker is
the best thing of the kind In the known
world, and we want to know why ev-
erybody doesn't think SO.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

Silas- Hello, Cy. What's new down
Frog Creek way? ...
Cyrus Haven't you heard? Gee!
Zeke Weatherby is the proud pa Of Il
yOungster that weighs twenty pounds
. Silas-Do tell! That's odd. Anything
else? .....
Cyrus-Yep! Hank Ryetop is the
proud pa of twins. Reckon you'll say
that's odd too? .'.
Silas--No, by heck; that's eyen.-Ch!-
cago News.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
As to Circulation Lies.

There should be state law In every
state In thi5 Union TO punish newspa-
pers for lying about their circulation.
AS there is no such law and never will
be, we take advantage of the occasion
to say that the paid circulation of the
Arizona Kicker has now topped the
100000 mark and is going ahead like
a scared kangaroo. IL you want your
advertisements to be read In England,
France. Germany, Russia, China, ia.
pan, Australia, and so forth, put them
In the Kicker. Nrs
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Reassurinu,

Mr.. Timmld Have-have you no.
ticed, Miss Maud, that the chandelier
seems to be shaking? Are you sure
that the foundations of your house are
are quite secure?
Miss Maud There's nothing to be
alarmed about, Mr.. Timmid. Papa's
room is just overhead, and he's snor-
ing.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

We learn that the Hon. Thomas Cur.
tis denounccs eY-Judge Mason as n liar
and a swindler. and friends of both
predict an awful tragedy the first time
they meet I'm! AS neither Of the
gentlemen referred to could hit barn
door ten feet away with gun there
can be no tragedy unless they set out
to pun each others noses. They had
better take nip together and forglyo
and forget.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
B0WSER IN POLITICS
Makes Speech In Which He Tries
B to Influence the Wavering.
MEETING is NOT A SUCCESS.

Auditors Refuse to Enthuse and Leave
eeoause There Is No Beer to Go
With the TaIk--PhilosoPhsr Real
Angry. 4
Tcopyrisht. 1905 by r. c. McCnre.l
"Well, what is lt2" asked Mrs. Bow
ser as Mr.. Bowser reached home from
the Office the other evening.
~ What IL whatT' he asked, rather
absentmindedly.
Something has happened today.
What Is it2y
What l have to say will keep untll
after dinner"
Mrs, Bowser made many efforts dur
Ing the dinner hour to draw him out,
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

The Chicago editor who announces
that while we were I'm Salt Lake City
recently we went to bed in hotel and
blew the gas out on ourself and were
found almost dead In the morning is
coyote and II liar. We carried can
die with us and lodged all perils, We
never fool with anything hidden away
In pipe. once In awhile we have had
a tallow candle explode and lift US
two feet high, but we have always
come down right end up. You fellows
In the east, quit your lying and give us
fair show This is all we wish to
say editorlally at this time.
NJ. QUAD.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
The Colonel a Poor Shot.

1t never occurred to us that old Colo
mel Slayback had any shoot in him
He bad threatened us lots of times be,
cause we would not run the Kicker ON
lines to suit him, but his talk went for
talk. Last Saturday morning, how
ever he walked into our sanctum and
began blazing away at us, and If he
hadn't been cross eyed and drunk to
boot some Of his bullets might have
come within foot of us. We let him
finish firing the six shots aud then
took him by the ear and led him out
doors. We shall have to have more re-
spect for him hereafter. It's in him to
Improve his shooting.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
AT the MualeaIa.

Church-Who is the gentleman lean
Ing on the piano?
Gotham--He's the installment man
who sold the piano. He's got a right
TO have q lean on it,--Yonkegs States
man,
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
scarcely Worth Mentionina.

81 eXpecr to take a few books with
me-" said the aeronaut, 'as the trip Is
likely to be long one"
They'll be useful for ballast, too,
presume" observed the reporter.
mot In the least" rejoined the aero
naut. Il shall take nothing but light
fiction. Smart Set
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
What Happencd to tho Phone.

Kathryn (auttering ln)--Im SO glad
I've found YOU home. dear, tried to
call you up, but central said your
phone was out OF order.
Gladys (wealtly) ~ suppose II IL.
About an hour ago Jack called up ia,
ther and asked him for my hand
Puck, ,.i
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

Mr.. Scott Johnson, the hardware
man. went over to Lone Jack the other
day to collect a debt long owing to
him. We advised him to take his guns
along. but he thought he could do 1t
with his mouth. Result; Mr.. Scott John
son returns with bullet in his shout
der, and his debtor has fed to Utah.
The mouth Is very handy thing, but
the guns beat 1t every time.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Problems.

"You wo"ldn't call any of Shakes
peare's dramas problem plays"
II don't know" answered Mr.. Storm
ington Barnes, from the way they
keep me figuring on expenses | should
say they were the hardest kind OF
problem plays. Washington Star.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Multitude Of Drumstieks.

The Colonel Rastus, you seem fond
Of the leg of a fowl
Rastus-'Deed All is, cunnel. What
great institution de chicken would
hab been eff Providence had given him
Gs many legs as centiped!-St. Louis
Post Dispatch.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

Mr.. James Carnahan In the left heel.
Mr.. Carnahan lad sent word to us that
he intended to shoot us on sight. We
sauntered into his vision on Cochise
place, but his courage oozed out at his
fingers ends, and he turned and fled.
We fired at one of his twinkling heels
just as he turned corner and planted
bullet in 1t. 1t was fine shooting.
Mr.. James Carnahan now says that he
has nothing against us. Blessed be
peace!
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Considerate.

Mrs. Mlmms-Mary. it was O'Clock
this morning when you got In. !
heard you.
Mary Well, ma'am, II was you I'd
take something to make me sleep bet
ter took my shoes Off down in the
kitchen and didn't make no more noise
than eat would. I've been kind Of
worried about you for a good WHILE
Punch
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Some Satisfaction In That.

Mrs. Hewligus You say that II n
burglar wants to get into the house
he'll get In in spite of everything you
can do to keep him out. Then whnt is
the use of your taking so much pains
TO fasten all the doors and wIudows2
Mr. Hewligus-I want to give him
all the trouble ! possibly can, blame
hlm!- Washington Herald.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
A Prntitnhla klIlinn-

Hes a cle7er old scout, all right"
"In what wayT
why he's trained his dogs and
chickens TO run out on the road in
front of passing automobilists, He
gets SO apiece for chickens and $50 for
dogs" "-Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
A Shifted Burden.

$50 you sold that miserable Old mule
of yours"
"Yasslr" replied Mr.. Erastus Pink
ley, "foh real money"
Doesn't 1t weigh on your CON
scienceT
"Well, boss, Is done had dat mule on
my mind so long It's kind of relief to
change of an git i'm on my con
science" Washington Star.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
A Murderous Maid.

First Admlrer- She looked daggers
at me.
Second Ditto She cut me dead
Third Ditto--Well, | must say. whom
she came out In that stunning rig she
paralyzed me.
Fourth Dltto--I think she's Just kin.
ing. Baltimore American.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Sequence.

Chlld-Suppose ! called you mean
old pig. What would happen?
GOverness-i should tell your father
and he would punish you.
Child-And If only thought It?
Governess-No harm, so long as you
don't say It.
Child-Then only think lt.-New
York Life.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

The place has been a public park for
the last FIVE years, and II is now hard
to see how the town would do without
It, As the sun goes down and twilight
comes one can sit on comfortable
bench and count the trailing arbutus
trailing over the graves of the twenty
one men that have fallen by our hand,
and the crickets chlrp and the whip
poorwill sings, and there comes feel
ing of perfect rest and peace and good
will to men. Such Of our people as
have been to New York city say that
the great lack of that spot is the
graves of holy terrors that have fallen
at the hands of New York editors.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

The Red Valley Argus pokes fun at
us FOR not getting a nomination for the
presidency after all the Dragging we
have done for the past year. No; we
didn't get what we were after, but
keep your eye on the HellsO family.
They have never failed yet to tree the
coon and bring him down. We are
going to be a long time alive yet, and
many things may happen.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
SCHOOL EXAMINATIONS

The School Examiners OF Marion county
Ohio will neCt for the examination OF
teachers at Central school building, SRtg
urday. a
November J
Examinations commence at $3.50 a. m.
and no application viii be received after
10 n, m All examinations will ba written
and positively no private examination, I,
VIII be granted. foe OF 80 cents Will be
charged on admission TO the examination,
and each applicant win furnish an en-
yelOpc, stamped and addressed to him or
herself, in which certificate or no ice OF
failure viii be forw drded, Applicants will
be graded on scale of 100. No certificate
will be granted when the grade In any
branch falls below 90. An average OF 20
with n minimum Of 65 seccres a certificate
TO one year, 10 With IA minimum IL 40
secures certificate Of two years, 90 with
a minimum OF SO secu es certificate 10:
three year-,
success I'm the school room will also be
taken into consideration In determining
the class of certificate,
S.W Allmending
W. z. Moloney,
er, Il Bell, CLERK. t1
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Desians on Him.

Bilklns says his girl thinks
Is pure gold, Last night when he
called the old man and the dog both
got after him.
Guyer-H'm! Then suppose he was
chased gold.--Detroit Tribune.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Rouah Estimate.

"I say, waiter" said the impatient
guest. "how long will my omelet beY'
II can't say exactly, sir" replied the
waiter, "but the average Is about eight
inches. Pittsburg Post.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Youna.

Elderly Relative Il really think.
Gladys, you should marry young.
Gladys with charming blush)-
Why. Aunt Annabel, how did you find
out his name Pittsburg Post.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Seeina the Points.

II see that young lawyer who comes
to see Elsie knows his business"
"What do you mean?'
whenever he comes to court he al
ways wants Il stay Baltimore Ameri,
can
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

Following in the footsteps Of New
York city, which our people sometimes
do the social list of the 400 for Giyea-
dam Gulch has been enlarged to take
In 200 more. This lets in the shyster
lawyers and quack doctors and also
such owners of saloons and poker par
lors as have not yet killed a man.
Most of them are providing themselves
with boiled shirts for the winter cam
paign, and things socially promise to
be lively.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

We have on our desk n postal card
territory, promising to remove us from
this earth within the next sixty days.
Come along william. We are always
ready for the removal and won't ask
for any time limit. If you can come
here and fire two shots at us and get
out of town without carrying a bullet
with you, we viii sell out cheap.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

on thirty.two evenings during last
summer there were from $40 TO $50 OF
our townsmen gathered IN our private
editorial graveyard to take the air
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
one Advantaae.

Hunting is more expensive than
fishing. isn't III"
VASTLY. One never accidentally
shoots COW with rod and line
Kansas City Times. n
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

Does that brazen faced jackass Of
jim Hellso of the Arizona Kicker own
the territory of Arizona, body, boots
and soulT plaintlvely asks the Blue
Hill Gazette. In order not to disap-
point an esteemed contemporary and
lots of other people, we answer that
we do And what are you going to do
about It?
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
BREEZY KICKER ITEMS /.
Nothing Slow About Things In
Giveadam GuIch.
EXCUSE FOR BAD SHOOTING.
The carnahsn Affair Explained.
Newspapers and Their Lying About
Circulation Chicago Editor Called
to Account.

copyright, 1905. by L. c. McClurel
Mr.. Jim Hansen, alleged holy terror,
who objected to Being lynched in this
town two months ago, went off to
Montana to have the same thing hap
pen to him among utter strangers.
Lots of folks don't know what's good
for 'em.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07
Announces His Planks.

Mr.. Bowser said that plank No / pro-
vided every man with home. There
was no applause. The audience
couldn't see where the cash was com
ing from.
Plank No. 2 was to provide for "a
working day of four hours. 1t was re-
celyed In silence. There would be too
much time to go fishing.
Plank No. 3 was to reduce the price
of all foodstuffs one-half. Mr.. Bowser
hoped to make a great hit on this
plank, but the silence was simply aw-
full. The patriots couldn't see how the
farmer was to be taken by the neck
and made to give up.
Plank No. was to provide free
transportation to all worklngmen to
and from their work. Mr.. Bowser
roared out his words and waved his
hand, but the audience sat frigid.
They didn't want work.
Plank No. was about to be stated
as something gold plated when the
chairman arose and clapped on his
hat and started FOR the door. Twenty
seconds later Mr.. Bowser was left
solitary and alone. He followed the
crowd downstairs, and In getting
through It to go home he was elbowed
and hustled until he looked like n man
that had been trying to crawl out of
jail through knothole. A few brief
sentences fell from this or that man
as he elbowed and showed. They re-
ferred mostly to demagogues and beer.
Mr.. Bowser was at length showed
clear of the human whirlpool and made
his way home. Mrs. Bowser was wait
ing for him.
"Well?" she asked after surveying
his dilapldated condition.
"Wo-omanp he shouted as he jump
ed up and down.
Eyes, your speech was failure, and
It was all my fault. OF course | went
over and bribed the audience"
woman, my lawyer-your lawyer
our lawyers
"Will fix 1t all In the morning Mr..
Bowser. Let's go to bed and forget IT,"
NJ. QUAD.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

We feel that an explanation is due
our readers for our supposed bad
craftsmanship last Sunday In shooting
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-11-07

that astonishment was always a good
thing, no matter who the victim was.
She got out his Sunday suit for him,
gave him several good hints, and as
he left the house she called after him
that, while she didn't want him to die,
If he was bound TO die and must die
and would die to die for his country's
sake. The rooms of the political club
were reached In ten minutes. One of
the delegation was there to receive Mr..
Bowser. There were also sixteen other
men who were not delegates. They
were simply patriots with love Of
America seething and bubbllng In their
souls.
There was an hours wait
This was to permit more patriots to
gather.
And for FIVE reporters to show up.
And to give Mr.. Bowser time to
separate the various planks Of his plat
form.
And to allow the delegate to throw
out hint every two minutes that he
feared he could not hold the audience
together unless something entertaining
was put forward, something like open
ing fresh keg of beer.
Mr.. Bowser was deaf to these hints.
He had all he could do to think OF his
planks. When four of the patriots had
got tired of dying for their country and
no new ones had taken their places the
delegate limited as delicately as he
could that Mr.. Bowser had better 90
ahead before any more had chance to
get out
The orator arose and bowed.
The audience thought the beer was
coming at last and applauded for the
next ten seconds. No beer no further
applause.
Mr.. Bowser began by saying that
there was no need to go back to the
landing Of the pilgrims, but a man
butted in to ask If the pilgrims brought
any beer over in the Mayfiower. The
chairman ruled him out of ORDER and
he sat down.
Mr.. Bowser said he didn't appear be-
fore them to talk of the pyramids, and
cross eyed man called out that unless
he could have glass Of beer In his
ear he couldn't hope to hear half what
the honorable gentleman intended say
ing, The chairman looked thlrstily at
him and froze him to silence.
Mr.. Bowser said that, while he was
In accord with most Of the platform
adopted by his party, he had few
planks Of his own he desired intro
duced. A lop shouldered man wanted
to know If beer was to come down to
3 cents glass, but he was hit be-
tween the shoulders and his lungs
In rrad IN qilanpa
Santa Fe new Mexican. [volume] (Santa Fe, N.M.) 1898-1951, 1908-01-27
PROBES CHARGES
AGAINST RANGER
Colonel Sena Returns From San Ra
fael Where He investigated Al.
legged Misconduct Of officer.

After investigating charges of al
legged conduct unbecoming an officer
made against G.. Fred Murray, pri
vate in the company OF Territorial
mounted police, Colonel Jose D. Sena
clerk of the Territorial supreme court
who had been assigned on that mis-
sion, has returned from San Rafael
Colonel Sena, who is an expert
stenographer, interviewed about TWEEN
ty persons of San Rafael and vicin
ity relative to the charges which had
been preferred against Ranger Muir
ray and filed with Governor Curry
These statements and the evidence
adduced has been turned over to Dis
trict Attorney Frank w. Clancy who
will incorporate 1t in an official re
port to the governor. 1t Is understood
that. the charges made against the
officer in the main are unsubstantiat
| ed.
One of the charges it is said which
were made against Ranger Murray
was that he had arrested without all
thority or provocation, Zacarias Pa
dilla. justice of the peace at Sa1
Rafael. Another alleged charge |!
that the officer was intoxicated while
on duty.