The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-08-26
DUTCH CLUB IN SESSION.
Wireless Message from Our Special Cor.
respondent.

institution Of Redwood Falls is its
world famed Dutch Club" 1t
meets at call in room %, basement
of court house.
In the past the press has rather
neglected the club and as a result
many intelligent citizens know but
little of it and the great work it is
doing.
Its leading members are Dennis,
Fritz, the Constable, the General,
Doc, the Admiral and Mack. 1t
numbers a great many others, but
these give tone and spice to it's meet
ings. Feeling that Redwood Falls
ought to know more of its leading
organization and the world put
on" to wit and wisdom that bubbles
and flows down amid the coal bins
of the court house, The Gazette will
from time to time become the herald
of the club serving by request
without salary.
A special session was held last
week in the afternoon on special call
with full attendance. The Head
Clubber stated that the lure of the
harvest field and the call Of the
thresher might draw some of the
membership astray and he wished to
warn them of the dangers of exer-
ton during the heated spell.
The regular order of hearts was
interrupted by the constable who
rose or rather sat down upon aues-
ton Of privilege. He called attention
to the fact that Adams Standard"
was the established refreshment but
he noticed that some were using Bull
Durham and others Dukes Mixture.
The point was held to be we'll taken
and the cob pipes were all emptied
and filled from the club sack under
supervision.
After Mack had lost eight straight
games, Fritz raised the question of
the inhospitality of the age. "It's
dot way" he said, in dose goot old
dimes eferybodies have pipe und
maybe beer. Ven you goes und
sees sombodies any fellars get smok-
ing und maybe a fiddle beer drinks.
Now ven you wants someone's you
yust craps a phone und calls one und
two holdings und you gets holdings
at ALL"
The General emitted cloud Of
smoke and remarked: ''In the north
you never knew hospitality as you
| found it in the south. In '66, when
| was in the mountains of Tennessee,
east of Nashville, I was once caught
out in sparsely settled region and
darkness compelled me to seek log
cabin on my road. l found the own
er was widow with fourteen small
children and" here Dennis broke
in with "Bedad, was she hay or a
grass wildly, Gineral, dear?"
The General checked the rising
mirth with an icy stare and in cold,
whitening tones squelched Dennis.
Your question, sir shows that you
know nothing of Tennessee, sir!
Your ignorance, while painful, ex-
cuses you, sir! In Tennessee they
have no divorces sir, but when mat
tiers get to the straining point they
have funerals, sudden and effective
sir! Therefore she was, of course,
hay, sir!''
! Doc and the Constable interceded
for Dennis and the General, accept
ing his last match, paused while he
swung to the side as he lighted it il
the usual place of friction for match.
es and putting on the pipe which had
gone out, resumed:
my welcome was most hearty
, The family was atsupper but seizine
her last fowl, goodly rooster with
a long red tail. she wrung it's neck
, and had him frying before the los
fire; she took her last bushel Of corn
: ground it and baked the flour, seizet
from the shelf her last quart o:
'moonshine' and stripping from tn,
family bed her topmost and widest
sheet she invited me to repast tina
. fingers yet in my memory"
Dennis paused for respectful
moment and softly asked: "Begor
"a, Gineral, what had you for break
fast. thin?"
The General indulgently said