davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Democratic Committee to Nee,

Democratic Committee to Meet.
The Democratic Parish Committee
is to meet on Monday, August 18th,
Tor the purpose of declaring the nom
iDees Tor members of the school board
in those wards where no opposing
candidates have filed notice of candi-
dacy. Also the committee is To select
the commissioners and clerks of cleo
ton and the necessary returning
officers Tor the primary election to be
held September list, aud to attend to
other matters that may be necessary.
A full attendance Of the members Of
the committee il requested.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Card Refut,ng "a slander.
Stay, La, August 9, 1905

Stay, La, August 9, 1908.
As there ure some reports Ola slan-
derous nature being circulated in and
around this country, in regard to
Rev. Simeon e. Deem, the beloved
pastor of Prospect and Sardis Bap-
tist churches. and as said reports are
calculated to injure the character Of
Bro. Deem as a citizen and AS a min
lister Of the gospel, we, the under
signed citizens of this community.
take this method of informing the
public that there is no truth in these
reports. We have been Intimately
associated with Bro. Deem and his
wife both as preacher and as citizens
for some time. and they have been in
our homes, and we have ever found
them nice and agreeable to all.
Bro. Deem has ever shown himself
to be christian gentleman, worthy
of the confidence and esteem of all
good people. and We know. that these
reports are absolutely groundless
aud without one word of truth in
them. Respectfully,
Signed: Rev. T. H. Thompson,
J. d. Young, John p. Britain. o. r.
Thompson, J. L. Crawford. j. E. Du-
plissey, j. NJ. Mott, c. j. Taylor.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Dots From Ada.
August IL, 1908.

August III, 1908.
II You will allow us space we will
write few dots from this place.
We are having some fine weather
now, and the people of Ada are Ell
joyiDg it.
We are glad to say the good peo-
pie of Oak Grove have organized a
Sunday school, and this with the
prayer meeting is attended every
Sunday evening by quite a large
crowd.
Little Ruth Chandler, daughter Of
Mr.. and Mrs. Willie Chandler, il very
sick at present, but VIE hope to see
her enjoying health again real soon.
A singing school will begin ut Oak
Grove on August Odd. Every one
seems interested.
Mrs. Altha LaCroix, of Verda, il
visiting friends and relatives of this
place this week -.
Mrs. Wilson, Mr. Jesse Wilson, Mrs.
Fowler aud little Gladys Fowler, OF
Lincoln parish, we're the guests OF
Mr.. and Mrs. H. c. TuIlos last Sun
day.
Messrs. Dock Sandi1pr and Fred
Lowell aud Misses Bunie and Julia
Brooks were the guests Of the Misses
Tory Sunday evening, and all report
a jolly good time.
One of our young men is a con-
stunt visitor at Mr.. Frulick's of late. |
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
wny James Lee Cot Wei,

Everybod! in GAINESVILLE, o., knows
MIS-. Mary Lee. OF rural route s. She
writes: My husband. James Lee. firmly
Delieves he owes his life to the use of
DIR. Kings Nes Discovery. His lungs
were so severely affected that s,onsump-
tion seemed inevitable, wien a friend
recommended New Discovery. We tried
it. aud it's use has restored him 10 per
feet health" DR.. Kings New Discovery
Is the King OF throat ADD lung remedies.
For coughs and colds it has no equal.
The first dose gives relief. Try il! snld
under guarantee at VII druggists. SOC.
and S1.0O. Trial bottle free.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Notice to Ministers and Off
GERS of the Law.

The following Ii list Of marriage
licenses issued for which there has
been no return to this office:
No. 1872. issued May -. 1907, Ge-
rome q Ditnlar To Miss Lucy Davis.
No. 1897. Issued May 81. 1907, VIII
liam Walker to Miss Ella DELANEY.
No. 3465. issued dec. %. 1907. l.. A.
Walker To- Miss Hattie Mccain.
No. 347,. Issued Jan. q. 1915. Thorn
MS Brown to Miss Matilda Willis.
No. 34%, ISSUED Feb. Is. 1909. An
drew Green to Miss Leila jackson.
No. BOZ, issued May .. 1905. Henry
to Miss wedia JOhnson.
M. 3i}4. issued July ~. 1905. Isaiah
Johnson to Miss Nena Briant.
Any officer or minister having cele-
brated any al the above named H.
rense will please make return to this
office ut once. in order that we NAV
complete our record ON same.
}. j. O'QUINN.
Clerk Of district Court.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Bought Shreveport Times.


A special from Shreveport saws: A
deal has been completed whereby the
property of the Louisiana Publishing
CO., owning the Shreveport Times,
will he taken over hy a company
headed by Hon. Robert Ewing of the
New Orleans Daily States.
MIR. Ewing, Attorney st. Clair
Adams and Business Manager Brown
OF the States have been here several
days. The property of the paper il
now in the hands of the sheriff. Ii
was seized by the First National Bank
for failure TO pay a $50 900 note ma
tnring in March. This note repre-
sented the balance due W. l.. Ha,nil-
ton ON the property which was
bought in March. 1907. 10y a syndi-
cate headed by Walter Danzigrr, Of
New Orleans.
The paper was strong Sanders
supporter in the campaign for gov
prnor, and ns passing into the hands
Of the interests which control the
New Orleans States, ia construed to
mean that the Times will, IN future,
represent the Sanders Foster Ewing
interests IN North Louisiana.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Correspondence
A Few Lines from Black Creek.

n Few Lines from Black Greek.
Editor COIGx Chronicle.
As little two-by-four squibs to the
papers appear to be somewhat popu-
lar over the country, | will give you
Il few dots from this neck OF the woods.
Nearly everybody has quit work
and discussing politics and gone fish
ing mp here On Black Creek. Some
are catching few fish, but the ma
jority l think are still waiting for a
bite.
The rains and boil weevils have
played sad havoc with our cotton
crop out here.
The few people who are not fishing
are preparing for "a protracted meet
ing.
Our people are anticipating the
building of n $3.50 school house ut
Black Greek in he near future.
After a campaign ofseveral months.
in which the Improvement of the pub
lie roads WIS discussed at some
length, the Legislature has held u
session, our police jury has met sew
eral times, and sent committee To
another parish for information ON
the road question. but the gullies
still reinniu in the roads What's
the matter? 1t surely cannot be for
the want of funds, Judging from the
late action Of the police jury in rails
ing the salaries of some of our mag
istrates and constables. Consistency
thou art jewel Our police jury
should ut least fix all salaries Of Off
cials who have the same amount of
necessary work at the same figures,
We have two wards with about the
same population aud the same
amount of necessary work with the
salaries of the court officers of Que
nearly four times AS much as the
Others.
Speaking of salaries, We think that
the einoluments of our police jurors
and school board members are insult
ficient for the work and necessary
talent required for the proper per-
formance of their duties, and the rx-
pense required to get before the peo-
pie in the elections. KICKER.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Managing A Newspaper.

Commenting upon the recent
suspension of the Morning World
of New Orleans, the States of that
city offers some remarks upon the
proper management of a newspaper
and what conduces to its success.
and they are 80 timely as to be
worthy OF reproduction. 1t says:
The successful conduct of news
paper is no simple matter. 1t re-
quires money, brains, energy and
conservatism to meet conditions
as they may arise, to convince the
public of the merits of the COM
modify, if we may SO term it, that
they are asked to buy, and thereby
to insure confidence and support.
There must be something more
substantial than private ends to
serve, personal grndges to crafty
or individual to propagate. Mar
rowness, prejudice and intolerance
cannot live in the atmosphere re-
quired for the building up of a
great newspaper; for the iutelli-
gent public is keenly discriminat-
ing in its Judgment and demands
broadness, frankness and fairness
in its public journals.
The moral is that it requires
brains and conservatism as we'll AS
money to conduct successful news
paper-brains and conservation IN
the business department, brains
and conservatism in the editorial
department, aud brains and con-
servatism in every other depart
ment of the work.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Dots From, Iatt.

Iatt, La, Aug 3. 1908.
Ash haven't seen any dots from
this place lately. ] will write few.
for fear the people will think this
place is dead. but | ara glad 20 say
that every thing is on the boom.
The Williana Luml,..s- Go. has start
ed their mill in full force since the
rain has ceased.
The health of the people is very
good with the exception OF Willis H.
Smith who is very sick Robert NJ
gent has suffered great deal from
an ubcess on his foot, hut is improv-
ing.
Pretty Boy and Sporty Boy, that
Shy-ann spoke OF in his commnnics.
ton to the Chronicle, are now attend
ing school. Prof. Normand has nj
assistant yet, but would like to have
Shy-ann, as we are satisfied he is u
smart msnfrom the mistake he made
in his spelling.
We would also like for Shy-snn to
look mp certain noble young man
from this settlement, who disappear
ed with young lady who was visit
ing friends ut this place. 1t is sup
posed that he has gone crazy or else
is trying to borrow $3.50 to get his
license. The last account We had oi
him he WIS at Dodson forty miles
above Winfield. on the Rock Island,
still following the young lady We
hope he has succeeded in his efforts.
We would be gladif Shy-ann would
visit this place soon aud bring Blue
Eyes with him.
Hoping that Shy-ann will come
again, will ring off. with best wishes
Wishes to the Chronicle and it's many
readers. Tony.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15

The camp meeting at Ebebezer be-
gan August 14th aud will last ten
days. Special tr,ins will lie run hy
the l.. X. K N. Co. both Sundays of
meeting. August 18th aud Odd, in
order to accommodates the crowds
that are expected tn attend. The
rate will be one and one-third fare
for the round trip.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Reduction on Overlooked Land

Reduction On Overlooked Land
In the policejury proceedings which
we publish this week it will I've seen
the assessor has been Instructed to
reduce the assessment on Overfiowe,l
binds this year % per cent.
Owners of lands should take special
notice Of the manner in which this
reduction is to be obtained. They
are r. quired to file with the assessor
on or before September 10, 1908, an
affidavit setting forth the description
Of the land aud the number of acres
for which the reduction il claimed.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Ex4ellent Health Adxloa.

Mrs. N. M. Dawson. of No. S66 Clifford
Ave., San Jose. Cal, says:"The worth OF
Electric Bitters IA general family re-
medy, for headache, biliousuess and tor
por OF the liver and bowels is 80 pronoun-
cod that am prompted to say word
in its favor, for the benefit OF those seek
ing relief from such affections. There
is more health for the digestive organs
in bottle of Electric Bitters than 10
any other remedy know Of" Sold un-
der guarantee at all druggists. SOC.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15

The mammoth Bentley hotel in
Alexandria was thrown open to the
public last Monday, and the occasion
was made a grand time generally.
This hotel is saiI to he the finest in
the State outside Of the city of New
ORLEANS. and its appointments and
furnishings are not surpassed any
where.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Eov Govo Ecof

IL have found Buckien's Arnica Salve
TO be the proper thing TO use for sore
foot. as we'll AS for healing burns, sores.
cuts. and all manner OF abrasions," writes
Mr.. w. Stone, uf East Poland. Maine.
1t is the proper thing too for piles. Try
it! Sold under guarantee aa all drug
vists JIG
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
Constable Sale.

State of Louisiana, Parish of Grant,
First Justice Court.
Tumminello Bros. vs. H. Edgington
By virtue of a writ of seizure and
sale issued out Of the first Justice
court. ward one. Grant parish, La.
and to me directed In the above en-.
titled suit, l have seized aud will Of
fer for sale at the old store of H. b
FaraldO In the town OF Colfax. La.
between the hours prescribed by law
on
SATURDAY. AUGUST Is. 1908,
the following described property OF
the defendant, to-wit:
2 dressers.
beadsteads and bedding.
sofa. ! book case.
/ center table.
l dining table.
! Kitchen safe.
! sewing machine.
5 rocking chairs.
\ straight hack chairs.
stove and utensils.
y zinc pans. tin pan.
] wasbstand and glass.
l bowl and pitcher.
2 slOp tubs.
lot Of crOckery ware.
milk bowls.
3 lamps.
roll at inatting.
picture frame.
shot gun.
3stew boilers.
coffee pot.
candy jar. l freezer.
, smoothing irons.
coffee mill. sitter.
8 Ice cream dishes.
3 pitchers. cburn.
8 cups and naucers.
! sugar bowl.
8 desert plates. 3 dishes.
) glass dishes. glasses.
water bucket.
2-g;sIIon jar.
tmlly dining chair.
Terms III Stiir-t 'ash. subject to ap-
J. v. CARNAHAN.
Constable Ward !, Grant Phi. La.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
To the Voters of the Seventh Congress
Si,naj District of LOUisiaDa:

SFfHHT DTSfT7cT OF LOUISIHHd.
] respectfully announce my candi
dncy for reelection MS the Represent
h,i,r of tbIs District in the Congress
cf the United States. subject 10 the
action of the Democratic primary.
and -olicit your support.
A...P. PUJO.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15

TO the Voters of the First School
District OfGrant Parish, La:
respectfully announce my candi-
duC, for election as member Board
of SCHOOL Directors for the list dis
irici Of Grant parish. subject to the
action Of the Democratic primary.
j. IL. MCNEliLY
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
ANNOUNCEMENTS.
FOR ASSOCIATE SUPREME COURT
JUSTICE.

We arr authorized to announce
PHANOR BREAZEALE
OF Natchitoches parish, az IA candi-
date Tor Associate Justice of the Su-
preine Court Of Louisiana. subject to
tile action of the Democrat tic primary
etr,ion to lie held Sept. |. l3,'s.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
We are authorized to announce
j. A. HYDE

OF COlfax. M a candidate for member
81 school board from ward one. sub
jrct To the Democratic primary.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
We are authorized to announce

NJ. l.. JACKSON.
al Hargis, as a candidate for mem
Der ri school board from ward seven.
subject tn the Democratic primary.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15

We are authorized to announce
JOHN T.. CALHOUN
al Redemption. as II candidate for
member Of school board from ward 6,
subject to the Democratic primary.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
FOK CONGKEss.
We are authorized To announce
WM. POLK

of Rnpides parish. as "A candidate for
iueini'er Of Congress from the Sew
euih District of Louisiana. subject to
tie action Of the Democratic party.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15

We are authorized to announce
A. W. STEWART
of Pollock, as u candidate for mem
Ter If school board from ward two,
subject to the Democratic primary.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15
W. are authorized to announc,

NJ. Z. NUGENT
Of, latt. as a candisiate for member
az school board from ward four. sub
jet 10 the Democratic primary.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15

We are authorized To announce
j. w. BARRON
as u candidate for member of school
bpnrl from ward three. subject to
the Democratic primary.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-08-15

State of Louisiana, Parish of Grant,
First Justice Court.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-03-14
Republican County Convention.

Pursuant to the call issued by the
Republican State Central committee
convention for the county of Bel
trami is hereby called for the pur-
pose of electing delegates to the Re-
publican State Convention to be held
in Minneapolis on Thursday, April
10, which convention will elect four
delegates-at-large and their alternates
to the Republican National Conven-
ton in Chicago. Said county con-
vention will also elect delegate to
attend the Ninth Congressional Dis
trict convention to be held in the
city of Crookston on the 18th of
April, which Congressional District
convention will elect two delegates
and their alternates to also attend
the Republican National Convention
at Chicago.
The caucuses in the several pre-
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-03-14

The above statement was made
this morning by Thomas Maloy, city
clerk of Bemidji, in conversation with
prominent business man of this
city, while talking relative to the
resolution adopted by the city council
last Monday evening, whereby the
commercial club was rendered the
use of the council chambers in which
to hold it's meeting.
Now, it is high time that the
officials of the city of Bemidji
asserted themselves and insisted on
Thomas Maloy attending to his own
business and doing his duty, instead
of being allowed to insult taxpayers
of the city, simply because his
pleasure has not been consulted.
The statement that the key to the
safe is on the same ring with the
key to the council chambers in no
way gives tangible reason why the
of the city cannot turn over
the keys to the room. Cannot the
key for the safe be removed from the
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-03-14

]. P. Lair, recorder for the Be-
midi Lodge of Workmen, has re-
ceived word from w. M. Barber of
Long Prairie, to the effect that he
(Mr. Barber) will make an official
visit to Bemidji lodge, next Monday
evening, at the invitation of M. C.
Tiff of Long Prairie. -.
1t is the intention of Mr.. Barber
to fully explain the new rates of the
order which were adopted by the
grand lodge at the meeting held last
January, and which will go into
effect July /, and as the gentleman
is thoroughly posted in matters per.
tanning to the A. o. U. w., his ad.
dress should be an interesting one.
The officials of the local A. 0. u.
w. lodge request that there be a
large attendance of members at the
meeting to be held Monday evening,
SO that suitable reception may be
rendered Mr.. Barber.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-03-14
GRAND RAPIDS SCHOLARS
WON DECLAMATORY PRIZE
Bemid Representatives Did Well But We're Among Very
Capable Opponents. -.-Contest Was Witnessed By
Large CroWd....Best of Feeling Prevailed

Park Rapids, March 14-(Special
to the Pioneer)-In the exclama-
tory contest held here in the First
Baptist church, between the high
schools of Grand Rapids, Cass Lake,
Bemidji, Akeley, Park Rapids and
Eagle Bend, Corwin Myers of Park
Rapids won first place in the seri-
GUS selections with Allen J.. Doran
of Grand Rapids second, and Roxey
Utley of Cass Lake won first in the
humorous with Herbert R. Groves
of Grand Rapids second. Grand
Rapids, having secured second place
in both classes, was given the ban
ner.
The church was crowded, and the
program was excellent, each number
being accorded it's well-deserved
applause.
Both Park Rapids and Cass Lake
spoke eloquently. Grand Rapids
rendered her pieces in a manner,
which goes hand in hand with her
famous football prowess. Bemidji
also did excellently, it being evident
the reason she lost was not that she
did not do we'll, but that some of
the others did better. Owing to
the absence of May Christensen,
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-03-14

cincts in the County of Beltrami,
shall be held on Monday, April
9th, between the hour of p. m. and
4 p. M, for the purpose of electing
delegates to the county convention,
said county convention to be held in
the Court House Hall in the City
of Bemidji, at 2 p. m, on the 9th
day of April, for the purpose of
electing twelve delegates to attend
the State Convention, to be held
in the City of Minneapolis on
Thursday April 10th, and also to
elect twelve delegates to attend
the ninth Congressional District
Convention to be held at the City
of Crookston on the fifteenth day
of April for the purpose of elect
ing two delegates and two alter
mates to the Republican National
Convention to be held at Chicago
on June 10th, 1908. The apportion-
ment of delegates from the several
precincts in the County of Beltrami
shall be and is as follows:
Alaskan Battle-2 Benville-2 Be-
m d ii-2 Blackduck-2 Baudette-3
Buzzle-2 Birch-2 Cormant-2 Durand-2
Village of Wilton-2 Eckles-3 Frohn-3
Grant Valleys Gudrid-2 Hagali-2
Hornet-2 Hamre-2 Jones-2 Kelliher-3
Liberty-2 Lammers-2 Langor-2 Lee-2
Lakewood Maple Ridge-2 Moose
Lake, McDougald-2 Minnie-2 Nor
thern-2 Nebish-2 Port Hope-2 OUR
ing-2 ROOSEVELT Summit-2 Shotley-2
Village of Baudette-3 Spooner-3 Viii
lage of Spooner-3 Spruce Grove-2
Turtle Rivera Taylor-2 Wabanaca-2
n. t. City of Bemidji LIST
wards End wards 3rd wards 4th
wards Village of Blackduck-5 Vii
lage Of Nymore-2 Village of Ten
strike Center-3 Village of Turtle
River-2 Village of Funkley-2 Village
of Red Lake Agency-3 Zipple-2.
By order of the Beltrami County
Republican Committee.
w. L. Books, I. B. Olson,
Secretary. 49,. Chairman.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-03-14

Cass Lake had no representative in
the serious selections.
After the contest the visiting
members of the different schools
were given an elaborate banquet in
the basement of the church, by the
Pard Rapids school. The evening
ended with general good cheer and
harmony prevailing all. Such con-
tests as these promote friendship
and intercourse between the schools,
and it is sincerely to be hoped that
they will be continued.
Geo. w. Stowe of Wadena, Will
liam Angus, superintendent of the
Sank Centre schools, and Rev.
McLoud of Brainerd, acted as
judges and found no easy task be-
fore them. They gave general sat
isfaction and did justice to all.
The following was the program,
with the exception that Miss May
Christensen of Cass Lake was not
present:
Music-Glee Club.
Selection from white Aprons
Bernice Bentley, Bemidii.
A Little Girls Practice Hour
Roxy Utley, Cass Lake.
Continued On Last Page
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-03-14

ring and remain in possession of the
clerk, insuring the clerk that the
safe will not be tempered with by
men whose interests are identical
wirh Mr.. Maloy's in caring for the
city's interests?
If business men of this CITY
(men who have their all here)
cannot be trusted more than safe
blowers or common thieves, it is
but just that the sanity board hold
a session and pass on the gentle
men who is fast approaching the
dotage stage and whose childish
ness is tempered with such bitter
ness and biased Judgment that his
usefulness as public official is
greatly impaired.
We have no desire to take this
mans living away from him, but it
is no more than proper that we
insist that the city's best inter
ests be. served by one who is in
office simply through the acts of
the people whom he serves.
Bemidjl wants no dictator of
Maloys' stamp, and those in author
ity should attend to his case at
once. He is altogether to conspi-
cuous in handling the management
of municipal affairs.
We would suggest that President
Gould take the ancient bad boy
out in the back room, spread him
across his generous knee and apply
a bed-slat.