The sun., 1908-12-20
HiNTs ron HUsBANDs
On Compiiments. General and SPECIFIC
--The Hair Question.

through the crack OF the door TO be sure
She was not coming back. you have got
TO be quick on your feet and good jollier.
To take things for granted is the greatest
compliment In the world; but they don't
like their compliments that way.
sSee what meanf This silent ad-
miration gag 10 no good. You can un-
button your collar. take cough lozenge
and sing I Love You, Darling. Even as
of Yore' until you've built up a S29S
thirst and when you get through your
wife will want to know when yore was
and please tell her, how much you loved
her then. At least my wife will. and they re
all on the same style.
"No, son. the gentle art OF being aces
isn't either an art or gentle. Not 80 you
could notice IT 1t isn't What they want
is to sec the goods. They know 1t and
you know 1t and they know you know 1t.
Understand? Well, then it's up to you
to come down stage and bat 1t out.
And strong too; good and strong
They're like the kid at the circus who sees
the elephant stand up, lay down. ring a
bell, run, jump and give good show gen
orally and then turns around to you and
says Huh, that's notbin'; let's see him
pick his teeth
4pm giving It to you straight. SON.
you can't surprise em no matter what
you say, and the thicker you lay 1t on the
better chance you've got TO have custard
pie next Sunday.
"You hear me-. This stuff I'm giving
you is no bunk. 1t took me years to learn
it and I've got ways to go yet. See
what I mean2 It's a study. A regular
kind of a science like. Important. too.
by gum. II you're married that Is:
Don't generalize. They hate it. Don't
say like this. Ny darling, you look very
pretty this evening" or Ny dear. never
saw you look better Can it. Don't
waste good breath that you re sure going
to need. Catch the idea? That is old
stuff and went out around about the time
somebody put the kibosh on hoopskirts.
II you've got to do it at all go at it 80 it
will count.
@Now see Here's what mean. Take
your time. (Ifyou don't she will There's
regular kind OF rules for this sort Of thing.
Begin at the top and work down. and
anything you see that looks particularly
fierce get that in twice.
"Tel her her hats wonder. Never
saw one like IL before. That's likely to
be true. anyhow. and that's what she
bought 1t for. Then get after her coat
"That's either too long or too short
or too something OF course. Well. just
get settled in your mind what's the
matter with 1t and then tell her it's a
dream because it is 80 long or short OF
whatever it is. See what I mean? Find
out what makes her look 70 funny and
then approve of it.
And 30 on. The skirt, smooth over
the hips; the shoes, small and high in the
instep; the waist. in perfect taste. You
got to say that about a waist because il
you try to be any more specific you'll
get in over your head.
And then-say. son, i ought not to let
you in on this at all. but I'm the original
sweet disposition and love my fellow
man-and then the hair. Nowl You
keep your eyes straight on your Uncle
Henry and don't let word OF this escape.
II I'd had somebody to tell me a few
things when was young man I'd have
saved lot OF backing and filing in my
time, I would.
sThe hair. Get that? The hair. Mind
you. don't say her hair. No. son, the
hair with the accent on the I'm the boy
wonder, with the present early express
sion when it comes to everything else but
the hair. They caught me late and /
haven't show: but I'm learning.
aYou got to make q study Of hair.
That's all it amounts to. You got to
know that these ooronet braids are
hitched on with spike and that styles
are likely to change their shape any
minute.
sYou hear me. my guileless young
friend, a complete and thorough knowl-
edge Of regular female lady woman
persons hair is ae much necessary to
your welfare as to have couple Of cloves
in your vest pocket after you have been
out for drink.
you're young and you can pick it
up quick. I'm doing the best I can.
but I get in bad sometimes; and you
take it from me that when you once get
in bad on anything that a woman wears
you've got to go double the distance
the next time to make her satisfied. See
what mean? She don't swallow IL 80
easy the second time.
Last week took my wife TO the theatre.
She rugged out in lot Of farce comedy
harness and then she says. says she.
How do l look?' she says. Like that,
YOU understand, with her cold and fishy
eye poking holes In my complacent front.
or course know the signals, and 80
opened up.
'If do say II myself. son, l lifted over
the plate few highly ornate and deco
rative domestic sphorisms. ] was tickled
to death. And honest. her hair was
something neat.
st was kind Of puffy in front and just
enough razzle- dazzley on the sides. and
in back and on top II was smooth as a
skating rink. 1t was different kind Of
a layout from any I ever saw before.
BY gum, IL was almost human looking.
'Well, sir stood right up In meeting
and barked. 1 got of some soft soap
that was just an inspiration. that's what
it was. And it went. too. She liked
IL 30 much that thought at one stage
she was going to stay home and make
me do It all over again instead Of going
out I'm pretty slick when / get going.
Then we went out to the show. You
know me, son, and you know that I'm
no hand to make things any more than
they are, but by gracious she had the
women in that audience lashed to the
maat Every mothers daughter Of 'em