davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
CHAOS IN A LIBRARY.
sareey's FearfuIIy Bad Luck With
Custodians of His Books.

ASeOdiduS OF tbs BOOKS
Francisque Sarcey had a splendid Ii.
brary, of which he was very proud,
and there are many stories told in
Paris about the singular fates. comic
and tragic, that overlook the librarians
who successfully looked after the late
critics books
Inc hrst was released convict, who
pleaded that to be much among good
books would reform him. Sarcev. mug
naciOus in print, was the kindliest of
men in practice. He yielded to the
plea. Unfortunately his protege car
ried the ethical cure too far for one
day he decamped taking with him the
best of NJ. Sarcey's good books.
The second was distinctly minor
dramatist, Debrit by name and debris
by nature. He had worn himself into
an lncurable melancholy by persistent
addiction to the humOrist vaudeville
habit. Sarcey saw that abstinence
from further composition could only be
secured if the man had some light oc-
cupation with a living wage. He es-
tablished him in the vacancy left bv
the convict. A few days later as the
critic, returning from the theater. drew
his carriage up before his door he
heard smash of shivered glass above
him. followed a minute later by what
he no longer dared to call dull thud
on the pavement below The woe be-
gone librarian, wearied of life. had
thrown himself ont of the window
With his last breath he cursed Sarcev
MS his murderer.
Third in order was one Bernard. a
gladstone youth. whose blithe tempera-
ment promised relief SIOm the gloom
cast by his predecessor. In the height
of his glee he pulled out all the books
50 as to rearrange them in more log
ical order on the shelves. He stacked
them in craggy pyramids all over the
floor. But it happened to be the spe-
cial day of the week whereon Sarcev
was wont to have few of his the
atrical friends, male and female to
lunch with him After lunch a dance
followed as a matter of course. Moth
ing could dismay the librarian. He
whisked the pyramids to four walls
and Joined in the dance. Next day he
asked permission to go home and see
his mother. He never returned. The
pyramids had to be sorted out by Sar-
cey's manservant and put pellmell on
the shelves again.
The last librarian was Mile. Blouska,
an elderly Polish maiden, who proved
an invaluable assistant until she per-
ished miserably in the fire at the char
ity ball in Paris.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
Curious Old Laws.

Some of the old laws of Nepal, India,
were curious. killing cows ranked
with murder as capital ofrense, for
instance. Every girl at birth was mar
ried with great ceremony to a betcl
fruit, which was then cast into sa-
cred stream. AS the fate of the fruit
was uncertain the girl was supposed
never to become Il widow To obtain
divorce from a husband a wife had
only to place betel nut under his pill
low and depart. In Nepal the day is
considered to begin when it is light
enough to count the tiles on the roof
or distinguish the hairs on a mans
hand against the sky.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
JUST IN TIME
Some Smyrna People May
Wall Till It's too Late

Don't wait until too late.
Be sure and be in time.
Just in time with kidney ills
Means curing the back
Before backache becomes chronic;
Before serious urinary troubles
set in. r.; r. i-----a, 1000
DOan's Kidney Pills will do this.
Here is Smyrna testimony to
prove it.
Vernon L. Phillips, painter, living
on Main ST., Smyrna, Del. says {:
i know that Doan's Kidney Pills
will do all that is claimed for them
and l am always glad of an oppor-
tunity to recommend this remedy to
kidney sufferers. About five wears
ago my kidneys became very much
disOrdered and seemed to break
down all at once. My back began
to ache terrible and at times felt
as though it were breaking apart.
The kidney action was weak and
irregular and caused much ANNOYANCE
and embarrassment. A friend
induced me to try Doan's Kidney
Pills and | procured a box at Clifton
& RaymOnd's Pharmacy. This
remedy helped me from the first, l
continued using it and in an short
time the troubles were entirely
removed. l would not be without
Doan's Kidney Pills in the house as
they never fail to relieve backache
and correct kidney or bladder
troubles" "
For sale by all Dealers. Price
so cents. Foster -Milburn Co.,
Buffalo, New York, Sole Agents
in the United States.
Remember the name-Doan s.
and take no other.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
A DISPLAY OF QUICK WIT.
The American Saved His Pride and
Observed Russian Etiquette.

SSN' W. thaSSldH EIlQuette.
The Yankee and the Russian story is
again on its grand rounds, but as all
attempts to name the original Yankee
have failed, says London NJ A p.
1t Is safe to pin the anecdOte to anv
prominent American who NAV have
visited st. Petersburg.
The Russian has been identified as
the Grand Duke Constantine. younger
brother of the Gar Alexander and
the incident occurred about 1910
The Yankee went out for a walk in
March, when the snow was melting
after sudden rain. The street was a
maze of puddles, divided into sections
by narrow lodges of snow at the cross
ingS. over which pedestrians carefully
felt their way.
The Yankee was just in the middle
OF such snow bridge when he recOg-
nized the Grand Duke Constantine an
preaching in the opposite direction.
The path being too narrow for two
persons to pass, the grand duke being
accustomed to every one getting ont of
his way, the Yankee being too courte-
Gus to turn his back on brother of
the czar to return whence he came
and too proud to step servilely into the
slush for mere prince of the royal
blood-such was the cOntretemps.
Quick as a flash our American
whipped out his purse, presented it to
Constantine and asked Even or odd?"
Even replied the astonished
prince.
"You win" said the Yankee and
stepped off into a puddle half a leg
deep.
Constantine, highly pleased by this
peculiarly American proceeding. men
TONED it to the czar and our Yankee
was invited to dine at the palace next
day.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
property Rinhts.

Private property. in the shape in
which we know it today. was chiefly
formed by the gradual acknowledgement
of the separate rights of individuals
from the blended rights of a communi.
ty. There is every reason for believ-
ing that property once belonged not to
individuals or even the isolated fam
lies, but to the patriarchal society as
whole. In other words, property
was at first communistic rather than
PERSONAL---VERY. York American.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
THE
THE
NEW YORK WORLD
THRICE-A-WEEK EDITION.
Read Wherever the English Language
il spoken.

Z The Thrice-a-W Week World expects to be
better paper in 1907 than ever before. In
the course of the year the issues for the
next great Presidential campaign will be
fOreshadOwed and everybody will wish to
keep informed. The Thrice-a-W Week World
coming to you every other day, serves all
the purposes Of "a daily, and is far cheaper,
The news service of this paper is .on-
stantly being increased, and 1t reports
faly, accurately and promptly every event
of importance anywhere in the world.
Moreover, its political news is impartial,
giving you facts, not opinions and wishes.
It has full markets, splendid cartoons and
interesting fiction by standard authors.
The Thrice-a-Week Worlds regular sub
scription price is only SlOO per year, and
this pays for 156 papers. We offer this
unequalled newspaper and The SMYRNA
TINES together for one year for Sis.
The regular subscription price of the two
papers is $500.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
Excellent Health Advice

Mrs. M. M. Dawson, of No. S79
Clifford Ave-, San Jose, CAL, says
"The worth of Electric Bitters as a
general family remedy, for headache,
biliousness and torpor of the liver
and bowels is so pronouncedthat am
prompted to say word in it's ia or,
for the benefit of those seeking
relief from such Affections. There
is more health for the digestive
organs in bottle of Electric Bitters
than in any other remedy / know
Of" +" Sold under guarantee t
Benton N. Weldon's drug store.
SOC.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
Cured Hay Fever and Summer Cold

A. S. Nusbaum, Batesville, In
diana, writes: Last year l suffered
for three months with a summer cold
so distressing that it interfered with
my business. had many of the
symptoms of hay fever, and a doc
tors prescription did not reach nv
case, and l took several medicines
which seemed only to aggravate it.
Fortunately insisted upon having
FOley's Honey and Tar. 1t quickly
cured me. My wife has since used
Foley's Honey and Tar with the
same success. All druggists.
Smyrna, and W. R. Keys & Co. ,
Clayton.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
How to Avoid Appendicitis.

Most victims of appendicitis are
those who are habitually cons tipated.
FOley's Orino Laxative cures chronic
constipation by stimulating the liver
and bowels and restores the natural
action of the bowels. Foley's Orino
Laxative does not nauseate or grippe
and is mild and pleasant to take.
Refuse substitutes. All druggists,
Smyrna, and w. R. Keys & Co.
Clayton.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
Traincd.

MY men work We'll" said a police
commissioner. because they are well
trained Training. you know, is every
thing"
He paused and smiled
Two physicians were discussing g
he said, IA certain pretty nurse.
"'Was she trained nurse? said the
first physician.
"'She must have BEEN replied the
other She hadn't been in the hos
pital week before she was engaged
TO the richest patient Washington
Star.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
A Limited Luxury.

Two Irishmen were discussing the
phenomenon of sleep. Said one, "Oi
hear as wan av thin poethry lads
calls it bald natures hair reshtoorer. .
'Yis," assented the other; shapes
a grand luxury. It's a pity man
can't kape awake long enough to injy
it. Jist whin he's thinkin' phat foinc
long shnoOze he'll be hovin'. begorra.
it's mOrnin'!'-Judge.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
For Sore Feet.

~ I have found Bucklen's Arnica
Salve to be the proper thing to use
for sore feet, as we'll as for healing
burns, sores, cuts, and all manner of
abrasions, writes Mr.. w. Stone,
of East Poland, Maine. 1t is the
proper thing too for piles. Try it!
Sold under guarantee at Benton N.
Weldon's drug store. 25c.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
" oIn.n's Reasonlna.

Husband CARRYING With his wife n.
the Azcarraga station just as the train
steamed oub-There! If you hadn'.
taken such fearful time dressing we
shouldn't have lost that train. Wife
And if you hadn't hurried me so all the
way here we shouldn't have such q
long time to wait for the next one.-
Philippines Gossip.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
Conceded Fitness.

"This Gates Ajar' design is a hand
some one" said the tombstone man.
1T is just what / want" said the
widow. He never shut a door in ali
our married life without being told
Indianapolis Journal.
Smyrna times., 1908-08-26
At Home.

HE was perfectly at home at the
banquet"
'Why, he didn't have a word TO saw"
well. that's being perfectly at home
for him" Houston Post.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
Couldn't Believe Il.

"Erer-r-r-this can't be the place"
stammered the city visitor as he
dropped his bags on the platform and
hurriedly wiped his glasses. Here.
NV good man. is this Carylville and is
that magnificent building up there
among those trees the 'Caryl
House?"
Wal, guess as how you've got it
about right. stranger. What's bitin'
you?" answered the native with true
country interest,"
"Oh, was sure I had made q mis-
take" said the visitor. laughing hys-
terically, because those buildings and
the scenery tally exactly with the de-
scriptions and pictures in the Summer
Vacationists' Catalogue. Puck.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
WHITE ISLAND.
One Of New Zealand Group Always
Enveloped in Clouds Of Steam.

White island derives its name from
the clouds Of white steam in which II
appears to be continually developed
Its area Is only 600 acres and its
height about $50 feet above sea level
In form and color it is like q re-
posing camel, while its interior. with
It's gray. weathsr-beaten. almost per
pendicular cliffs. recalls the Coliseum
at Rome. Overhanging the southern
landing place stands a column OF rock
closely resembling sentinel. which
has been dedicated to the memory OF
Capt Cook The water Of the island
is OF a pale green hue and anything
dipped into It becomes red brick
color. The fumes Of sulphur are al
ways plainly perceptibie.
On a fine moonlight night a wonder
full sight is afforded to anyone who
will sit in an open boat in one of
the lakes Of the island. Covering an
area of so acres Is an immense cal
dron. Kissing and snOrting and send
ing forth volumes OF poisonous steam.
while all chances of egress appear TO
be denied by the steep. silent and
gloomy ciiffs.-British Australian.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
GASES or chILE's DESERT.
They Play = Great Part In Develop
ment Of Nitrate Beds.

Northern Chile. which IA SO largely
mountain or desert. is generally re-
sarded as a forbidding wilderness. but
here may be found number OF GASES,
the most conspicuous OF which are
Plea and Matilda
II has been found that in various
parts of the great Atacama desert the
earth underneath the surface layer OF
sand or salt 10 sufficiently moist to
grow crops. capillary attraction spread
ing the water through the soil.
The rainless Atacama desert Is the
scene OF the greatest industry Of its
kind in the world. yielding enormous
quantities OF nitrates used to enrich
the fields Of Europe and the United
States
The GASES play very important eco,
nomic role in the industries OF the re
gion. supplying vegetables and food
s,ufYs for the support OF the work,
men. alfalfa for the cattle and rari'
Gus fruits. and also serving a. tim,
Der producers for the nitrate works.
which require much fuel.
There Is no part OF the worll where
agriculture IL more intenslvely car
ried on than in these green spots In
the Atacama desert Zion Herald.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
American Coinage.

Ninety per cent. Of the coinage by
the United States in the fiscal year Of
1908 consisted of gold eagles. coin
which probably not one in a hun
bred people sees as often as once a
year. Altogether the coinage Of the
country comprised II different varie-
ties, seven of which were for the
Philippine islands in pesos and centa-
vOs, and one of which Of the same de-
nomination was for account Of the
Mexican government. The number OF
pennies turned out averaged little
less than one for each inhabitant. The
total coinage for continental United
States was $215,714.s62. This has
been one of the most active years in
the history of national minting. or
this amount sl79.23S.337 We're in gold
and $16.532477 in silver. or about the
ratio of one of silver to Il OF gold
Wall Street Journal.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
Island cheap;y Bought.

In Southwest bay. In the New Hcb-f
Aes group. there Is = small wooded
island Of considerable height above the
sea. although only few hundred
yards in circumference. The story
Of its acquisition Is . curious one.
Southwest hay used 10 be considerrd
q good place for large; practice by the
British men-of var on patrol duty
there. and this small isief was used
as a target 50 frequently that 10
s.rnlcd In danger OF being gradually
sno, away. The chie! who o~ned Il
protested and wanted compensation.
The captain n . man-of~sr. vh" I'M
derstood the natives. knew that these
claims would b. a ceaseIess source of
blackmsH unless they wore sciGed
ouce for all: 30 ne boush; fhc island
for thC British crown, paying ten
s.icks 81 tobacco for ~. and every cns
vas SATISFIED The pisr~ since thea
Aas beea known 40 Ten stick island
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15

Among the rapidly disappearing wild
animals is the Gland or Cape, elk.
which is a native of South Africa and
one Of the largest antelopes. and Is
especially priced as furnishing the
best of all venison. Schemes for
preservation include plan for domes-
ticating 1t and making it perform an
important share OF the farm work OF
Cape Colony. The beast is easily cap
tured. thrives under the new condi-
tons, and in an experiment in the
M'Chekwe district of Mashonaland
two Gland spans were used for con-
siderable time for drawing wagons.
proving dociIe and tractable. Healthy
calves were born in captivity. The
animal seems 10 be proof against the
common diseases Of farm stock. and
its flesh Is desirable for beef and Its
hide for leather
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
A FORWARD MISS.

II ia quite a mistake to suppose that
the child Of today is the pity-my sim.
plicity sort OF tender shoot 1t ought 10
be. One Of female gender approached
me In q side street the other day.
She was about seven. and possessed
an unmistakable air of refinement and
good breeding that arrested my atten-
ton. Seeing my regard. she looked
up and said:
"Mornin'. Cardinal: has anyone seen
our cat circumambulating round this
district"
was so taken aback that made
no reply.
Speak up, Lord William" said the
child. Don't say you've had your
voice turned of at the main. I'm one
cat short-she's long and thin. with
tortoise shell points. sound in wind and
limb. city broke. stands without hitch
ing, and answers to the name OF Wini-
fred Ermintrude Brown. Where Is
she. colonel"
Young lady" said !. Il do not quite
follow you"
Il do not ask you to follow me-
grandpa" she replied. Il addressed
you without prejudice. I'm not trying
to score of you. Either you've seen
our cat or you haven't. II YOU haven't
well part friends with no clothes
torn. But II you have, would request
you to dig up. excavate, produce and
relinquish the cat forthwith. Failing
which-well, l shall apply for q dis
covery."
II haven't seen your cat" said
is that a true bill?" she replied.
NO go in cats? Nothing doing in the
feline way"
Nothing" I replied.
Then. tra,la-la. Charlie. 60 to seek
my cat elsewhere" And with .
curtsey she withdrew.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
At Bsnnockbuen.

A splenetic Englishman. trying to
badger a Sco.chman who was some
thing Of q wag. declared that no man
OF taste would think Of remaining any
time in such q country Al Scotland.
Tastes differ. replied the Scot.
suaveiy. I'll take We to place in
Scotland no; far frae Stirling whaur
thretty thousand Of your cou1trymen
ha' been for so years. an they've nae
THOUGHT O. ieavin' yet"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
No Need To.

DO you kno~ that Mr.. Thompson
was Just speaking to-" asked the lady
~ the tea party Of tie one standing
next 20 her.
oh. yes"
4 suppose 10 says those sweet
thiass IN all 'hc women he meets
No: he Ec,.r says them TO mo"
Indeed. And You know him"
oh. yes. IN his wife.
Stories
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15

You always start the photograph
when tina; young man calls"
. Yes answered Miss Cayenne He
thinks IL is a polite attention on my
part and il protects me from his tire
some efforts at conversation. Wash
ington Star.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
~, Hsr WAY Measures.

81 tried &" compliment that opera
singer bu, he SONS offended
What iiG vow sal
Z said ! cn7 stdcred him the greatest
living tenor
You should have told him thai he 10
Tho greatest iraor that ever lived and
that after his dca'h real music can
ssryfvc only BY means Of The phono-
gsapa.-
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
Striving to Please.

He tried to smile his cares away
And in a very little while
He overheard his neighbors say
He wore an idiotic smile.
He got to looking sober then.
But still his case was very sad.
For everywhere he ventured men
Spoke slibly OF the crouch he Ia
Chicago Record Hera
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
wh., IN. Wind Blown Rioh..

When the Wind Blows Right.
Stranger-How far is It to the stock
yards?
Native-Right here. Can't you tell
by YOUR nose?
Stranger-No: been smelling just
like this ever since l came in sight Of
the town.-Chicago Tribune.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
No Need TO Steal.

No Need 70 steal.
SteI!a-Jack stole q kiss from me
last night.
Mabel-Poor fellow,
Stelia-Wby do you say that
MabeI-Had he been wealthy there
would have been no occasion for him
TO steal H-Cbicago Daily News.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15

The Angry Mani won't stand 1t!
Didn't you promise to love, honor and
obey me?
The WomanAYes. b-but that min
lister had known me since I was a
child. and he-he knew I was just
blufing. Leader.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15

Where did Maudic got that dandy
$500 gown
she earned % by wiring IN ariirI.
on How Dress on $50 a Year -
Judge.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
The
Quiet COURAGE
of Women
BY Maud Pauncefofe.

Manly Courage Usually Physical
and Brllliant-Womanly Courage
Long Suffering and without Glory
Many Do Not Realize Their
Bravery-Patient Endurance Of
S,raitened Circumstances and
Unhappy acknowledgements
ment Concealed with a Smile
Hardships Endured by Refined
Women Whom Misfortune Has
Overtaken.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
Merely . Oeivsion.

TT hurts. doesn't it, asked the sur.
geon. probing away.
No" answered tho patient. through
his set teeth I only think II does"
Chicago Tribune.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
r,Ilic. O, ana on the sf,oe.

n noooioSuc artist en- the stage IL
Usually . nan remarked tho Observer
Of Events ssd Thinrs: In rial life ~
r. usually o vouas. States
man
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15

apartment house in which there was
no limit Of age. and where there were
few hard and fast rules. such as di
yiding families There mother and
daughter need not be divided. nor two
sisters: they could have an apart
uent 10 themselves, perhaps paying
sum toward a general mess. in which
case the rooms. the warming and the
gas would be given free. Then the
salary or annuity would cover ex-
pcnses without q care. II ever this
can be accomplished Washington is
the place for it. for IL is there that
so many come whose professions
bring them to the capital to live on
salaries which die with the worker.
There the army and navy. diplo-
mats. men In all government employ
20 tc live and they gather from all
parts Of the union. frequently ending
their careers in Washington. leaving
their wives and daughters-won"n
unaccustomcd TO work-in many cases
with very mcager annUities. If these
could get comfortably housed. rent
free. in a bcfittins manner they would
get along comfortably enough with
out the daily struggle Of HES battle
This charity would certainly help
a class Of brave women and give
them = feeling nf home and a posi-
biIity Of security which. with the
hand. ito mouth existence they must
tx.s a. f.- from h~tn- the Iof Of ruosf
Of them at present
Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-17
TARGET PRACTICE

knowledge, with reluctance, that Mr..
Sutton is probably a too-true prophet,
and that although a realization of his
vision would indicate a reign of terror,
the stern logic of events would seem
to give our ultra commercial and APP
parently soulless civilization no choice
between that and the complete social
reform which must come quickly if the
land is to be saved from the horrors
that may be brought upon it by
Creed bred Crime, the child of Need.
Mr.. Sutton's latest work has been
received with enthusiasm by competent
critics. Many inquiries have been
made for copies of the paper in which
it is printed, and much interest has
been aroused and exhibited. We con-
gratulate our readers and the entire
community on the quickness of percep-
tion displayed by the immediate
recognition of Mr.. Sutton's work. A
prophet is not without honor in his
own country when that country is
California, and he won't be driven out
of his own city when that city is Los
Angeles. Mr.. Suttons prophetic songs
for the right, loud, clear and strong
songs, will yet have the entire reading
community of the United States for
an audience.