davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Spare That Buckwheat Cake.

From the Grand Rapids Press
The American public Is long suffering
and will stand great deal of imposl-
ton. 1t will. without a murmur, pay Its
good money for cigars made out of hemp
and corn husks. for whisky containing to-
bacco and molasses or for butter made
out OF a1el grease and yellow oclre, but
there Is q limit and the average 4Ameri-
can Will not stand for any thrilling with the
good old buckwheat pancake.
The buckwheat cake is one of the foun-
dalton stones OF our national structure
and it has helped build us up from a
struggling colonial dependency TO the
proud eminence OF a world power with a
navy that can sail around the world with
out losing gunner and with a congress
that can appropriate billion dollars a
session without turning II hair 1t has
helped make us the sturdiest race since
the ancient vikings and it mas given us
tho courage to look the whole world II, the
face. confident of our physical aud mem
tai prowess. 1t gave our forefathers the
stamina to throw off the yoke OF the op-
pressor and their sons the pluck to drive
the whoOpinR redskins to the western ho-
rizon. there TO wither and fade away until
tliey became but memory. 1t has given
us the strength to navigate the realms he
low the sea, to fly In the air even as the
condor of the Andes. to invent the phono.
graph. the wireless telegraph, the divine
right of coal barons and all other things
that go with civilization.
Z Whosoever strikes a blow at the buck
wheat cake strikes blow at thu, ver,
Keystone OF our national strength. and the
efforts of the Michigan dairy and food de-
partment in its behalf are 10 be com,
nerlded.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
fNToLERABLE ITCHING.

Fearful Eczema All Over Baby's
Face Professional Treatment
Fniled-Perfect Cure by Cutleura.
when my little girl was six months
Old I noticed small red spots on her
right cheek. They grew so large that
/ sent for the doctor. but instead OF
helping the eruption. his ointment
seemed TO make 1T worse Then went
to Il second doctor who said 1T was &C.
zena. He also gave me an ointment
which did not help either The dis
ease spread all over the f;:ce and the
eyes began 10 swell The itching grew
intolcrable and it was a terrible sight
to see. | consulted doctors for months,
but they We're unable to cure the baby.
paid out from SO to $50 without re-
lief. One evening | began to use the
Cuticura Remedies. The next morning
the baby's face was all white instead
OF red. continued until the eczema
entirely disappeared. Mrs. y. Il. Gum
bin, Sheldon. la. July IL. 1905"
Potter Drug & Chem. Corp Sole
Props. of Cuticura Remedies. Boston.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Smoking in China.

Consul j. c. McNally at Marking, In
Il report on cigaret smoking in China.
says: The demand for cigarets in
China today is only exceeded by that
for Kerosene. Nor is this habit con-
fined alone TO the male portion of the
population; the females of all classes
and ages, from 10 years up, indulge az
freely and openly I'm cigarets and with
rs much apparent enjoyment. as do
their brothers. The introduction of this
habit among The Chinese dates back
only few years. and it's universal
spread throughout the empire has been
astonishingly rapid. The manufacture
ers say that their production Is up to
the standard and entirely free from
opium. The small cost OF cigarets.
which can be bought from one to 900
AT as low ak one-fourth OF an Ameri-
can cent each. may have something To
do with their universal use: but what
ever the cause. the cigaret has appar-
emily come TO stay. has superseded tho
cumbersome water pipes heretofore SO
common among the Chinese. and is
even used by opium smokers, who find
an added pleasure in the smoking of
cigaret after inhaling the opium
fumes. According to good authority.
the monthly sales i'm Nanlsing alone
amount 10 125 cases, of $4,000 cigarets
to Il case, costing about $24 gold u
case The increase of the sales in or
about foreign settlement could nat
urally be attributed to the influence
of the foreign indulgence but In Nam
king, with no foreign settlement and
not more than 40 foreigners. apart from
the missionaries. the steady increase
Of he sales Is. 10 say the least, sun
prising. The unlimited advertising OF
the merits of the various brands,
through the medium of flaring posters
pasted on the doors and walls of sac
red temples. mission churches, city
gates and wallis and other conspicuous
places attracts the Chinese To the point
of AN experimental Indulgence. for the
poorest "oolic can lind the five cash
nc-fourth cent? necessary to pur-
chase u cigarei. The company pracii-
cally enjoying "a monopoly of the Gig
arct trade In China has been COM
PEELED to increase it's plant To keep dp
with the Increased demand"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31


Mrs. Clarence Mackay, at n dinner at
7Iarbor Hill, her Long Island residence,
complained of the American ignorance
of foreign tongues.
IRE ally we'll educated Americans"
she said. know nothing OF French or
German. and hence when they go
abroad-and we all, sooner or later, go
abroad--they are somewhat humiliated,
for it is q sign of had breeding abroad
10 be unable to speak French or to
read II French menu.
"Our French here in America is SO
prcposterous." said Mrs Mackay, smil-
ing.
I'm bookshop the other day heard
a woman say:
II want something for Christmas
gift for young girl
Yes. madam said the salesman.
How about Westward Ho" by Kings
leyr
81 thought of something by Hugo.
she said nervously. That we'll known
work of his She hesitated-I could
see she dreaded to pronounce the
French words. That story. don't you
knew. about the convict?'
'''rhe salesman looked blank.
Lay She gathered up all her
courage. Lay Mee-zay -rab."
THE saIesmans face frightened
Oh he said. in patronizing
tone. you mean Less Misserbles.'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Rnw1nn ma Rn,inn

A man hired southern negro to go
out with him to fish. The man was
doing all the rowing, and, finally turn
Ing to his helper asked him if he
couldn't row. NO, boss" was the re-
ply. So the man did all the rowing.
and when he had caught all the fish he
wanted. rowed to tho shore and
climbed the bank with the fish. Turn
ing around. he saw the negro rowing
the boat away with vigorous strokes.
and, calling to him, said: Il thought
did you mean pull de boat. boss? I
thought you meant could l ro'-like =
lion.n
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
The Crime of s'sz5 ;;;; Is: ;,
e e. ss1:. the Boulevard
CHAPTER NII.-Continued.


II have only to remand you to your
CELL said the magistrate. We will
hunt for the other man."
Dantin. in his turn, said i'm an iron
ical tone. And you will do Well"
NJ Ginory made a sign. The guards
led out their prisoner Then looking at
the chief. while Bernardet still re-
window. the magistrate said:
Until there are now developments.
Dantin viii say nothing We must look
for the man in the sombrero."
Necessarily" said NJ. Leriche.
The needle! The needle! And the
haNstack." thought Bernardet.
The chief. smiling. turned toward
him. That belongs to you, Bernar-
det.''
Il know it WE'LL" said the little man.
but 1T is not easy. Oh. 1t is not easy
at ALL
Bah You have unearthed more
difficult things than that Do it up
Drown. There is only one clew-tlle
hat
They are not uncommon. those hats.
NJ. Leriche. They are not very bad
hats. But vet it is Il clcw. If we live,
We shall see
He stood motionless between the
carving arms. while Nj. GnorN. shak-
ing his head. said to the chief. And
this Dantin-what impression did he
make on you?"
He is a little crack Drained, replied
the chief
Certainly. But guilty. believe
him guilty.
without doubt"
Would YOU condemn him." he
quickly asked as he gazed searchingiy
at the chief. NJ Leriche hesitated
Would YOU condemn him." NJ. Gil
nory repeated mistakenly.
The chief still hesitated moment
glanced toward the impressive Bernar-
Diet without being able to read his face.
and he said:
Il do not know.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Immortal Bill.

a Philadelphan on his return from
Berlin talked at the Philadelphia club
about Kaiser Wilhelm.
'tYou know the kalser's ballet Of
'Stardanapalusr he said. We'll. this
ballet made a success and in Its honor
the kaiser gave dinner.
Berlin is laughing over an incident
OF .hc dinner. ~ seems that one of the
speakers said in the course Of his
speech:
This ballet teaches us powerful
lesson. IL shows MS that we cannot es-
capt our fate. AZ the immortal VIII
liam once said. There's q divinity that
shapes our ends. rough-hew them as
we may. And So
'"rh. kaiser appIauded thunder
ousy.
That is clever. very clever. he
cried But when did I say 1t? I've
quite forgotten"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Held rSs1sr ON HAVING
wG GSE r.Martel's Preparation
nUVlN The stssaxt4ReAey. Mt Druggists,
Send for hook s.ssclief Tor Wouson."
FRENCH DRUG CO., so w. SGD st.. N. T. City
His Mistake.

Bishop Potter was a wonderfully
effective preacher said a Brooklyn
clergyman. His method was reserved
and quiet He always had himself we'll
il. hand. l once delivered sermon
tefore him. l was young and enthu-
siastic at the time, a disciple Of the
methods of Talmage 1 let myself go
in that sermon. My voice shook the
church. My gestures shook the pulpit.
AT luncheon afterward l am ashamed
to say that tished for compliments. 1
leaned over the bishop and asked him
in low voice to give me some advice
on preaching.
Dear knows what I expected him to
reply. probably that was beyond any
advice from him. AT any rate, what
he did reply was this:
My dear young friend, never mis-
take in the pulpit perspiration for in
SDiratiOn' -
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Viva. Comma
Catarrh Cannot Be Cured

With LOCAL APPLICATIONS. MS they can.
not reach the seat of the disease. Catarrh
Is blood or constitutional disease. and in
order TO cure 1t you must take Internal rem.
naliy. and acts directly on the blood and
mucous surfaces. Halls Catarrh Cure Is not
. quack medicine. 1t was prescribed by one
of the best physicians In this country for
years and is regular prescription. 1t Is
composed OF the best tones known, combined
with tho best blood purifiers, acting directly
on the mucous surfaces. The perfect COM
bination OF the two Ingredients il what pro-
duces such wonderful results in curing Ca.
tarrh. Send for testimonials free.
+. j. CHENEY L CO.. Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, price 75c
Take Halls Family Pills for consttpatiSA
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Start the New Year Right!

M TART the new year with clean
mind and clean bodyl
Most people are very neat
W and clean in their outward
appearance. but how about the insid. /?
Are you clean inside2
And If not. how can you face the New
Year with clean thoughts, clear intelli-
gence. a fair. just. and bright mind, and
your full share Of capacity for work and
enjoyment.
The holidays are over and everybody,
haa good time perhaps little too much
Of good time. over-ea.ing and over
drinking have been the rule ever since
Thanksgiving Day.
Many people get little exercise in winter
anl breathe much s.uffy. over-heated in
side air.
At the same time they cat too much rich
and indigestible food. while fresh fruit and
fresh vegetables are scarce in the market.
So stomach and bowels are liable to be
over-ta1ed.
Clog up. stretch and paralyz. the large
intestine by over stufflng it with undi-
ges:ed food. SO it can not carry off the
useless refuse. and it backs up the
sewage, and comp.ls the small intestine
tc absorb the poison Of decaying matter.
instead Of wholesome nourishment.
That's what must happen. Isn't it plain
as day?
What's the result2
Nearly everybody gains in flesh" in
the winter time. but its pussy fat not
healthy flesh and muscle. The liver gets
inactive; the bile doesn't work off,;
the eyes get yellow: the skin gets dead
like putty and pale like dough. with boils.
pimples. blackheads. liver-spots to break
the monotony.
Dizziness. headaches. blurred vision.
foul breath. slesplessness and q temper
xks 4 1iA 81 make sseh psssoas very
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
A 300. Pound sunfi.h.

From the San francisco Chronicle
Fishermen in the employ of the Western
Fish company made a remarkable catch
10 miles outside the Heads yesterday.
While fishing from the Farragut they felt
hard tug on one Of the lines and a few
minutes later hauled on deck giant sun
fish.
The fish weighed 200 pounds and meas
ured five feet in length. AS might be ex-
pected. he put up Il hard fight. Sunfsh
are rarely captured off this coast as they
are natives of Japan. The big fish at
tractad a world OF attention along the
waterfront when placed on exhibition
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31

pleasant company to themselves and
others.
But, you say-"l'll take course Of
Spring medicine to clean me out next
April"
Not considering your duty to yourself
and family. isn't it certain that to leave
tho body full OF poison all winter. and
then suddenly attempt to force out all
impurities by one violent attack is danger
Gus. absurd and unreasonable
Keep clean inside all the time. That's
the simple solution.
If you can not diet. or keep your mech
anisn going by proper exercise, the SELF
evident alternative is to take Cascarets.
the sweet fragrant. harmless little vege-
table tablets. that acf like exercise " on
your bowels. and gently but powerfully
clean out and disinfect the whole diges-
tive canal.
a cascaret every night before gong TO
bed will work while you sleep" and
make you feel fine in the morning"
If you have been neglecang yourself
for some time. take Cascaret night and
morning and break up the constipatea
habit" without acquiring catharuc
habit"
Cascarets are sold by all druggists. loc,
Csc and Soc. The loc size trial box is a
neat for the vest pocket or lady's purse.
Be sure to get the genuine, with tho
"!ong-tailed c on the box and the letters
"CCC" on each tablet. They are never
sold in bulk.
~ FREE TO OUR TRENDS,
We waat = Seed = en- etssas Z heasnAa
h1f6-eaaneyed p eoAafl. Il 4 6eauN ~ ~
dressing tabae. Ten oab 81 0la@ee q aske6 n
neao1fe aeel4 IN a 6cv0We afsSesSsts
wHA 49, b fsiakee 4 ho1A m
$3.50 -: "a - ri sss i,x1 ~
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Prom the Baltimore American-star

FrOm The RaltimOre lAmeriCan-Star.
Professor Robert Williams Wood, the
distinguished scientist of Johns Hop
kins who says that comparisons are
odeious." and thereupon proceeds 70
write the odes. has this in his remark
ably clever Animal Analogs:
Good Mr.. Darwin once contended
That beetles We're from bees descended.
Aud as my pictures show, l think
The beet must be the missing link
The sugar beet and the honey bee
Supply the beetles pedigree;
The family is now complete
,rhe bee the beetle and the beet
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Siiencina a Roaster.

Uncle Zeke (back from the city)--
You talk about cheap ridin'. rode 90
miles on a street k'yar an all it cost
me was nickel
Uncle Jed--Gosh! That amt nothin'.
When | was thar last year l. rode to
the top o. the tallest buildin' In town
an it didn't cost me blamed cent.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
WE SELL GUNS AND rRArs CHEAP
& buy Furs & Hides. Write for catalos 1On
n. w. Hide & Fur Co. Minneapolis, MINI.
a Natural Lifebuov.

The boatman had been angered by
the assinine behavior of a young fellow
among the party which he had taken
for a sail. When the boat sprang
leak far out from the shore the boat
man somewhat allayed the alarm OF the
rest OF the party by serving out life
belts. but he gave no belt to the would
be wit.
Where's mine:" said the terrified
youth.
Don't You worry, my lad" said the
bcatman. with vindictive smile. You
don't need no life belt. You'll never
be drowned. A Teller With an cad as
'oller as yourn can't sink. Natures
given you -eat-ral lifebuoy."
The wine froze in Flanders in 1863.
and the soldiers to whom it was dis
tributed had To cut 1T in pieces with
hatchets.
a hole has been bored i'm Silesa to a
depth of 1000 feet.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31

Switzerland protects one of its great
est natural resources by law forbid
ding the transmission into foreign
water power. except upon permit
granted by the federal council, reyoc :
able, IL necessary for the public good.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Interesting Information.

We can learn from all inen. even
from the humblest." said we'll known
detective. at a police banquet Turn
deaf ear to no man The lowliest
tramp may have information of in
credible interest for you.
II we'll remember continued the
detective smiling. "a walk once took
down Market street. AS strobe along.
proud and happy. n rose in my button
hole and a gold headed cane in my
hand. a drunken man had the i,npu-
dencc to stop me.
Amt you Mr.. Adair? he said.
Yes. said l.. What OF it,?
Mr.. Adair the detective% he hic-
coughed.
Yes. sir. Who are you:' asked
iinpatirntly.
Mr., Adair,' said the untidy wretch,
ne he laid his hand on my shoulder to
keep himself from falling, ri tell YOU
who am Mr.. Adair. I'm--htc the
husband OF your washerwoman.'
Well. what of that? said /.
My scorn brought q sneer to the
mans lips. and he said:
You see. you don't know every
thing. Mr.. Adair.'
Well. Mr.. Adair.' said he, you
don't know that-hic-I wearin' one
of your new white shirts"
Ship your hides and furs to Andersen
Bros. and get 10 to so per cent more
money.
No matter how small or large your
shipment Of hides or furs is, you can
always obtain more spot cash by ship
ping them to Andersen Bros, OF Min
ncapolis. MINI.
They are the oldest and most reliable
far house in the Northwest. backed by
% %ears of honest dealings. Anyone in
ierested in hunting or trapping should
have a copy of their famous hunter
and trapper's guide.
VI contains $50 pages of the most val
nable information to hunters and trap
pers
The regular price Of this valuable
book is 81 To their shippers $l25.
Write to them today for free booklet,
price list. shipping tags. etc. They are
all free. Address Andersen Bros. Dept.
III. Minneapolis, Mimi
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Too Many In II,

Guide Gas the birds start up)-Shoot,
Shoot.
Amateur Sportsman (nervously)-
Why -er-aw-there'e so many birds
they confuse me. and l don't know
which one to shoot at.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31

New York, despite its more rigorous
climate. is 50 miles nearer the equator
than is the British capital.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Omitted.

The two old neighbors had met on
the street.
"Mornin' Sam said the first. II hear
your son Bin has got through college
successfully.
Yep" said the other.
Learn anytliing"'
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31

According to the market records the
consumption of eggs In New York city
annually IL CSC for each tnhabitant.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
pisersst Pronhaex,

why do you invariably predict the
coolest winter We have had in years."
Well" answered Professor Blather-
ton, ''if il comes true people necessarily
give me credit for great wisdom And
II it doesn't come true they are too
thankful to hold any grldge."
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31

PILES cuHEn IN Is TO DAY.
PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any
case OF Itching. Blind. Bleeding or Protrud.
Ing PLIES in q to IA days or money refunded
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31

Ma says one of the advantages of a low
neck dress is that IL makes back scratch
ing easy
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31

Only One ..B.toMo QUININE"
That Is LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE. I.ool
FOR tho signature of II. w GROVE. Used the
World over TO Cure n cold in one Day. 30
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31
Our French.

..rs. W.nslo:r.s rc-7-rN= syBu. nor chiidrs.
oyk paic err " . ''',a-- -t's
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31

What's he got out of it chiefly"
He Kin speak seven languages"
Fine"
oh. dunno. Trouble is they forget
to teach him any idces to express With
EN-"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-12-31

a hole has been bored in Silesia to a
depth of 1000 feet
The Press., 1908-06-17
Whistler,s Odd Wavs.

Lord Redesdale once gave a descrip- tion of Whistlers methods to a meet ing in London in support of a memo rial to the great artist. He was paint ing, he said. a portrait of a lady
 Whistler took up his position at one end of the room with his sitter and the canvas at the other end. For a long time he stood looking at his model, holding in his hand a huge brush full of color. such a brush as 6 man would use to whitewash a house. Then he rushed forward and smashed the brush full of color into the canvas. Then he ran back. and forty or fifty times he repeated this. At the end of that time there stood out on the canvas a space which exactly indicated the fig- ure. the form and the expression of the sitter. There was pathetic story attaching to the picture. The bailiffs were in the house when the picture was finished. That was quite a com mon occurrence. and Whistler only laughed, but he went round his studio with knife and deliberately destroyed all his canvases. including this picture, which was to have been his NOrd deSdale'Sl.--nundPe Advertiser,
The Press., 1908-06-17
ANIMAL INTELLIGENCE.
The Difference Between Instinct and
 Reasoning Power.

The Difference Between Instinct and
 Reasoning Power.
 Most animals have little self con- Rciousness, and their reasoning powers at best are of low order, but in kind at least the powers are not different from reason in man. A horse reaches over the fence to be company to an- other This Is instinct. When 1t lets down the bars with its teeth, that Is reason. When a dog finds Its way home at nighr by the sense of smell, this may be instinct: when he dHags stranger to his wounded master, that Is reason. When a jack rabbit leaps over a bush to escape dog or runs in a circle before coyote, or when it lies flat in the grass as a round ball of gray, indistlnguishable from grass, this is instinct. But the same animal Is capable of reason-that Is. of a dis tinct choice among lines of action. Not long ago a rabbit came bounding across the university campus at Palo Alto. AS 1t passed a corner 1t suddenly faced two hunting dogs running side by side toward it. It had the choice of turn Ing back, its first instinct, but a dan gerous one; of leaping over the dogs or of lying on the ground. It chose none of these, and its choice was in- stantaneous. It ceased leaping, ran low and went between the dogs just as they were in the act of seizing 1t, and the surprise of the dogs as they stopped and tried to hurry around was the same feeling that a man would have in like circumstances.-"Evol ton and Animal Life"