davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
The Old Street Car.

The following Geographic news dispatch
from Milwaukee carries a suggestion of
progress:
IAN old-fashioned street car has ar
rived at Wauwatosa on a fiat car. 1t is
the property of F. w. Underwood presi-
dent of the Erie railroad. and it is one of
President Underwood's most valued pos
sessions According to President Under
wood. the car was the first to open his
eyes to the possibility of traffic on street
rails President Underwood. then just
plain Fred Underwood, rode on the
car in Ohio. 1t will be set up on the
grounds of his home and converted into a
reading ROOM"
Well within the recollection of the elder
citizens is the day when the stage coach
was the highest evolution of mans de-
sire to get over the ground quickly. They
remember the skepticism with which the
scheme of laying metal rails for the haul
ing Of cars by horses was received by
many. They dwell, perhaps q bit fondly,
on the oid-fashioned one-horse car that
logged along the streets. the kind that
boasted of no conductor. but was op-
Grated by driver who made change, sold
tickets. watched the fare box and jog
gled the memory. of the forgetful pas.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
The Anti-Noise Crusade.

The argument in favor of a ''noiseless"
city is based upon true concept of the
public nervous system. 1t is plain to the
average person that our modern life has
become a Gathering hustle. which means
an incessant strain and a high tension.
There is little chance to relax and rest
People may in all sincerity claim that
they like the noise and hustle of the town.
but they are not reckoning upon their
own highest requirements. They are I'M
| consciously wearing out their vitality at
faster rate than though they took
things a little more quietly and gave
their nerves a chance to recuperate.
Every unnecessary noise is a wasteful
drain upon the human reservoir of energy
A man may grow so accustomed to the
din of a lively city that he is ill at
ease when the sounds cease. He does
not realize. however, that he has in
some degree responded to each separate
| sound that has reached his ears during
the day. Each changing bell. each honk-
ing horn, each rumbling street car, each
shrieking or booming whistle, each rau-
cous voice. has its individual effect in
arresting the attention. The mind is
subjected to a series of jolts and checks
from morning to night. an unwholesome
dltcIld SQI iGul VI SCASotiOhS lAoS
drains the nervous force.
The familiar story of the New Yorker
| who could not sleep in hotel in small
| city unless a boy ran up and down the
corridor with a tin wagon laden with
broken crockery has it's striking moral
The noise craving person is as much a vic
tim of noxious stimulation as the taker of
drugs or liquor. He does not have as
ohn To live IN 10 full 0f
years as the man who shuns useless
| noises and thereby keeps his nerves
| steady.
1t Is possible to run city upon the
basis of noise elimination. without harm
ing any interests. The hawker of wares
| bowls simply for his own advantage or
| convenience. He is perhaps too lazy to
solicit trade at first hand. He is not en-
terprising enough to establish his lines
| of regular custom. He insists upon pro-
! claiming his presence and letting his GUS
| toners seek him. The sounds of warn
| ing. while necessary in some degree, are
all louder than they need to be. They are
strident because people have grown SO
| accustomed to street din that they must
| be Jared by extraordinary vibrations to
| give them notice of approaching danger.
\ IL oil SOuLuS are the street user
| will be more alert in his own behalf and
| the general rate of warning noise will be
more effective because lower.
AS soon as we overcome the fallacious
| thought that noise means business and
energy and learn the truth that the quiet
| est workers are the most efficient we will
| appreciate fully the blessings of peace
| full, quiet town, and all citizens will CO.
| operate with the authorities to prevent
| unnecessary noise.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
Coon Dogs.

Judge Taft while at Hot Springs was
embarrassed by the request of a Virginia
admirer several times repeated, for a
good coon dog. He seemed to think 1t
difficult to secure such an animal. 1t
need not be. The theory in hunting cir
cles is that a dog good for nothing else
makes a capital coon dog; and surely
there are good for-nothing dogs galore
everywhere. Let the republican candi-
date when he reaches Cincinnati take a
day off, cross the Ohio river. and after
a visit to the Kentucky hill comforting
about coon dogs he will return home full
of information on the subject and with all
the dogs he wants at his heels. He need
lose no votes in Virginia or elsewhere
that may be secured by the present OF
coon dogs
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
The PARK HOLD-UP.

From the Columbus Ohio State Journal.
It would be a good joke on the Yellow
stone Park bandit If he should happen to
hold up a coachload Of editors on their
annual excursion.
From the St. Louis Globe Democrat.
Those people in Yellowstone Park who
were only held up for $25 apiece might
have remained nearer their homes and
Jared worse.
From the Pittsburg Gazette-Times.
Some people are mean enough to say
there's no sense going to Yellowstone to
be robbed, seeing that Wall street Is
nearer.
From the Brooklyn Eagle.
The publicity given to the Yellowstone
hoId-up may make 1t impossible to cap
ture the bold highwayman. 1t Is too bad.
The Brooklyn police should have been on
the job.
From the Detroit News.
1t is most fervently hoped that the sus-
picion that the Yellowstone stage robbers
were in the employ of the national COM
mittees will prove unfounded.
From the Detroit Free Press:
Those people who were robbed by the
highwayman in Yellowstone Park simply
got rid of their vacation money by a more
direct route.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
IGNORANCE.

I never pull the pusy's tail, I never climb up
I never take stick and poke the hives o. honey
1 never play at hockey, never whisper when in
never take ny shoe. OF just to let my feet get
don't read blood and thunder tales. and I don't
I don't sleep late 8 mornings and I Aon't % ont
never smoked, and never yet have tried to
And ali because know that I'll get wsIleped IL
do.
1 never run the horse when an sent with loads
I've never seen a circus march. I've never seen
I'd like to see an elephant and q lons.neckes
And see the clown do stunts ana laugh. and
never have Worn out my pant: across the knees
I'VE never sxiped green apples or green peaches
I don't ~ Kites on Sundays when kites essst Of
I'd Ike to. but / know that I'll get walloDed IL
I bet when I grow up no kid won't dsst dare ne
I'll kick and claw and souse and punch and pull
I bet that I'm smoke cigarettes. and smoke a
And I'll eat apples any time want to fore
And ri. run horses like I please. and 1 will
And I'll wear my britches out behind and at
the knees,
IN just do ali Of everything couldn't when q
Because my dad would wear my britches out
then IL did
won't be mollycoddiish when I'm grown sp Q
bit,
I won't be scared to swim all day, or watch sat
where sit,
Or poke the bees. or chunk the cows, Or smoke.
don't do these things now at all, or. lesstways.
Ny dad don't know about it. and yes'd tell hin
IL told;
1 wonder II there was q tine when daddy wasn't
old;
It's ..Don't!' to all ia like to do, to al Ia like
to be.
Gee. II be knowed the half Do how he would
wallop me!
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30

effort to break Mr. Bryan's power over
he party, Mr.. Watterson proposed Gov
Johnson of Minnesota for this years
presidential nomination, only to find that
in the strongholds Of democracy the peer
less leader was still supreme.
Then followed what was to be expected
Curious about leader who had achieved
so much and was wearing SO well, MI
Watterson held two interviews with Mr.
Bryan-One of them at Fairview-and for
the first time made himself acquainted
with the man. He was charmed, and
he at once surrendered. To make him
self well understood at home. he says
he Laid down his hand The Opposi
ton of twelve years faded away before
two interviews of say a couple Of hours
each
Mr.. Bryan has accomplished few things
quite so Indicative of his superior powers
of address. Capturing crowds at cross
roads, local politicians in conversation
on railroad trains, is easy for trained
talker. But Mr.. Watterson has been a
man of national distinction for a genera
ton. In that time he has met and min
gled with all the leaders of both parties,
and has been one of the leaders Of his
own party, and was no easy mark for
even the peerless leader. But Mr.. Bryan
probably at his best for big game
brought him into camp.
Now in the Bryan camp, Mr. Waiter
son. once caustic critic, is changed to
eloquent eulogist. Where once he scourged
he now soothes and applauds. AS The
Star said of him several months ago on
this same subject, he does nothing by
halves.
Mr. Watterson. as he tells us, is not
serving the national committee of his
party for pay, and he reiterates what
he has several times said on the subject
of public office. He will considers no offer
of place in case of democratic success.
But he may be overruled as to that fea-
ture of a reward. Gov. johnson said he
would not accept third nomination, but
has done So Mr.. Bryan asks for one
term as President on promise not to
seek second. but will be certain to do
SO if tempted So with Mr. Watterson.
If Mr.. Bryan with his aid Is elected he
will be very likely to call Mr.. Watterson
to his side in some high capacity, and
Mr.. WattersOn will be Overruled and will
obey. 1t will be his duty to obey. We
may yet salute Secretary Watterson, or
Ambassador Watterson.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
The Crop of Tall Claims.

The first sheaves of tall claims are
coming in, and the promise is of an abun-
dant crop.
William Suffer- the Tammanyite, has
6ust returned from a visit to the west,
and reports the whole country beyond the
Mississippi afame for Mr.. Bryan. Mark
the language. The whole country MIR.
Sulzer travelled by rail. and mingled with
people on trains and in hotels. Doubt
less he met many democrats, and heard
their assurances about their section and
gave them assurances about his section.
in that way he secured his information.
Does 1t fairly entitle him to speak as to
'the whole country beyond the Mssis-
eippi'?
A Mr.. Tomlinson of Alabama has ar
rived in New York to assist at demo-
cratic headquarters. and is apoplectic with
enthusiasm and confidence. He is certain
as to Mr. Bryans election. but he wants
1t to be as nearly unanimous as possible.
He will meet many democrats in New
York. and will probably soon be assur-
ing his Alabama friends that the east is
'.aflame'' for the Denver ticket.
Chairman Mack begins well. Things
look good to him. He can see nothing
but Bryan. In Chicago at democratic
notification. in Washington consulting
with Samuel Gompers. or in New York at
democratic headquarters. he hears moth
Ing but Bryan. He begins to ask him
self, Are there any republicans left?
Is there such a man as Taft? Need
exert myself to the utmost to win this
contest?"
Fingy Corners gives New York to Mr.
Bryan by a hundred thousand. He starts
with a hundred. The figure may reach
two hundred thousand by October. Mr.
Bryan is to visit the state and Mr. Con-
ners is busy day and night He is i'm
proving each shining hour-sunshine and
moonshine.
Thomas Taggart claims Indiana by
thirty thousand. His first canvass shows
that figure, but another canvass may go
higher. He is prepared for a rise. and
wants the country to be. What is to be-
come of Taft on election day he cannot
Imagine.
Chairman Jones in the two previous
Bryan campaigns was joked a good deal
about the claims he put out, and some of
them were tall But he made none to
compare with the skyscrapers now going
APP. Chairman Mack and his lieutenants
are tracing new sky line. Unless they
are mistaken-and they fiout the bare
suggestion that they can be-little will be
left of the republicans after November
Pennsylvania may remain as a nest egg,
but reduced in size and of doubtful utility
The party of Lincoln, they insist, is to
perish from the earth
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
THE MUSES. In POLITICS.

From the Nashville Banner.
Only one man who wrote poetry was
ever elected President of the United
States-John Quincy Adams. Mr.. Bryan
and Mr.. Taft have never written poetry.
Mr.. Hisgen is said to have courted the
muse.
From the Atlanta Georgian.
Aside from writing campaign poetry
Gov. Haskell of Oklahoma has led a
blameless life.
From the Galveston News
Not content with having bossed the Job
at Denver and of being made chancellor
of the exchequer, Gov. Haskell now wants
to be Mr.. Bryan's poet laureate. Is there
no limit to the mans ambition?
From the Toledo Blade.
There being nothing in the Constitu-
ton against it. Gov. Haskell Of Okla
homa will cut loose with a few tuneless
campaign songs.
From the Atlanta Journal.
The efforts to induce Gov. Haskell of
Oklahoma not to sing his own campaign
songs seems to have had but little ef-
feet.
From the Newark Star
Hear that Hisgen writes compositions
for a "pipe organ" Thought that was
the job Of his running mate, Graves!
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
CAMPAIGN CASH.

From the Houston Post
Nevertheless and Notwithstanding, there
are hundreds Of men in Texas who ought
to plank down 500 each to the campaign
fund and only four have done SO.
From the Harrisburg Telegraph.
Three newspapers are alleged to have
raised $4,000 for the Bryan campaign
fund. But it's far cry from $500 to
the $4,000 Mr.. Bryan said would be
needed.
From the Richmond Times Dispatch.
Treasurer Sheldon finds G. O. P cash
hunt hard. walls the New York Evening
Mail. Why weep? Treasurer Wetmore
also finds the purse strings tied and the
voters not at home.
From the Boston Advertiser.
A Boston man claims that he contrib
uted IS to a campaign fund, but nobody
believes him.
From the Rochester Herald.
Cornelius N. Bliss can show the ad.
yisory committee how to do 1t SO their
right hand won't know what comes into
the left hand.
From the Providence Tribune.
Republican campaign fund solic- tors will
presently learn, If they do not know al
ready, that it Is difficult to get big po-
litical contributions unless you can first
throw a scare into" the men who have
.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
Modern Alibi Proving.

A man was mysteriously shot the other
might on the boardwalk at Atlantic City,
while In company with the wife of an
other. Immediately the theory of the
Jealous husband is advanced and the hus-
band in this case is now being shrewdly
questioned regarding his whereabouts be-
tween o'clock Wednesday afternoon and
the next evening. The circumstances OF
the crime and the known facts of the
husbands movements render 1t possible
for him to have run over from Baltimore
to Atlantic City Wednesday evening and
back in the morning. If he can satisfac-
torily account for enough of his time to
cut out the possibility of such a trip in
season to commit the crime he will be
relieved of all suspicion as principal
This case. apart from its Immediate
interest, directs attention to the chang
ing conditions which affect the freedom
of personal activity. In old times an
alibi was comparatively easy TO establish.
Before railroads were evolved a man who
could prove to have been a hundred
miles away from the scene of crime
day or perhaps even two days before it's
commission was beyond suspicion. But
with the increase in travel rapidly came
greater difficulty i'm establishing a pres
ence elsewhere. The spanning of one
hundred miles in day was no longer
impossible to the point of positive proof by
negation. Now, so fast the trains, 1t
is possible to get from New York to Chi
cago in twenty hours, distance of 800
miles. Thus man could leave the former
city Monday, kill 81 man in Chicago
Tuesday and be back in New York on
"Wednesday.
The high-pOwer automobile is regarded
now by the police as an aid to crime
The independence of schedules which its
operator enjoys is coupled with COM
paratiye freedom from observation So
numerous now are the road scorohets that
man in desperate hurry might slip
from city to city unnoticed save by a
few angry farmers. who would in court
have hard time to identify car or Cog
gied occupant
VIII the aeroplane prove a still further
aid to the man who has a criminal pur-
pose to accomplish without leaving trace
OF his presence? The question is being
asked by law officers in some anxiety as
they read of the experiments and tests
which are In progress in this country and
abroad. Given an expert aviator and a
high-power plane" and 1t may be easy
for a jealous husband, who has no taste
for court notoriety or a dangerous bout
with the law, to pass rapidly through
space to the point of attack, Stay his
victim and return in ample season to
claim an alibi according to all known
standards. Indeed, when this device is
perfected. all standards will fail to serve.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
Watterson and Bryan.

On another page of today's Star APP
pears an article by Henry Watterson on
the subject of Mr.. Bryans candidacy.
1t is very interesting. as is everything
from Mr.. Wattersons pen. and appeals
for attention especially in that portion
which explains Mr.. Watterson's CONVEX
sion to the Bryan cause.
II is putting it mildly to say the coun-
try was surprised at that. For nearly
twelve years the Kentucky editor had
been a most caustic critic of the Ne
braskan and all that the latter repre-
scented. In his newspaper and In inter-
views he had dashed him with a vocabu-
larry comprehensive and biting: and Mr.
Bryan had. replied in kind. As q final
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
STUMPEb.

I've matched her silks. I've bought her waists
And hosiery and things Ike that;
She says ] have such splendid tastes.
Why. I have even bought her hat.
Embarrassed i have never been
While shopping since our happy marriage;
But I've nerve to enter In
dicker for q baby carriage.
I've dubbed with q female clerk
About the price Of corsets. and
I've looked upon 1t a. my work
I've always been composed and bland.
The purchasing Of women's hose
Ii not q task should disparage;
But what q nerve he has who goes
Right In to buy q baby carriage.
I'm stumped at last I must admir-,
And am plainly III at ease;
Ny placid cheeks are flushed a bit.
And ] am shaky At the knees.
I'm Mustered now and certain cutie
That ! shall lose my gift Of Sab.
o, this will be my greatest fright
To dicker for a baby cab.
Detroit Free Press.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
Better Times.

Better times will soon be here,
Autumn leaves will turn to gold
And the bracing atmosphere
Make each foOtstep stout and bold;
Fruits are ripening in the tree,
An the crisper winds that play
Seem to whisper In their glee:
Better times are on the wayr'
Don't know much bout nash'nal banks,
An the tariff stumps me. too.
But I'm fixin' up my thanks,
Cause l know that they'll be due
Let them argue an explain,
Down our way we're all agreed
That with proper sun and rain
Better times are sufanteed!
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
SHOOTING STARS.
BY PHILANDER JOHNSON.
A Formal Occasion.

AT my wife's earnest persuasion said
Mr.. Meekton, Il went to the kitchen and
notified the cook that she would be ex-
pected to interest herself in various house
hold reforms
And with what results?'
"Sne listened with apparent interest and
then went ahead and did as she chose.
She treated me as if l were a regular
notification committee"
Some folks idea of happiness. said
Uncle Eben, sis to hab so much money
dat deyd have to work fohteen hours a
day fob de res o. der lives to keep count
of it,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
The INCRATIATIkG NIT.

The candidate goes forth to win.
With banners and with bands.
And yet through all the raucous din
He's mostly shaking hssds.
When mixing with the people plain
Good fellowship expands
In him. for there 10 lots to gain
By shaking all their hands.
Attention when he's On the stump
His eloQuence comman1s,
But, hnishinR. he's on the hump
To shake the voters hands.
However clever he may be
At hiding how he stands
So that with none he'll disagree.
The best ways shaking hands.
But though he be an orator.
Or foxy with the slate.
What sort Of show would there 30 fof
An armless candidate!
Indianapolis News
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
WHAT 1T MEANS.

Now. that they've done notifyin'
Messrs. william Taft and Bryan
Now that tAey've done broke the news 70
Sherman and to Kern
Tell me now what Innovation
What new theme Of soecula tion
Il there to arouse the nation, for which 30
pie give q durn?
LAckIa -day-there's nothing left us
OF excitement they've bereft us
No more dark and deep surprises for the -
ple are in store
Nothing the nerves % tryt6
So important. misfifyfn'-
Only whether TAFT or Bryan viii succeed King
Theodore-
Only this. and nothing more:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
A MYSTERY SOLVED.

You see him in his once,
You see him on the cars;
His face a cory spectacle
OF scratches and Of scars:
You wonder n he pets q cat.
Or has an angry wife;
Your fancy keeps q squirting at
The mystery Of his life.
But never at the BARRIERS
You meet this luckless man:
And hence the right conclusion,
ESRde it IL you can;
His razor's dull - any hoe,
And yet the martyf-elf
Is bound economy 10 show.
And always shaves himself.
-Brookiyn Eagle
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
WHEN Love DIES.

Lady. when you spear spaghetti,
Mingling sweetiy skill and grace,
You are not unetiQuettey.
Though ] cannot see your face
When asparagus you 6etcher.
Scoring spoon and fork and knife,
You are bee utiful, you betcAer
Sweet young life.
When you take o cob Of corn ND
And you sweetly masttcate
Till the kernels all are torn I'd.
You are perfcct-y0u are great.
Bot when steamed clans make your menyoo,
Then I quilt can't be leal
Sweetheart. then i cannot Den yoa
How I feel.
New York Mail.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
A fRoNT-RoW FORESTER.

The real woods
Are not the goods:
They're buggy and they're hot.
IL peace Of mind
You want to hnd.
Best seek another spet.
Give me the green
And vefnal scene
That figures In Q play;
The canvas grove.
Where fairies rove.
And every thing Is gay.
Louisville Courier journal
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
Valuation.

Young man." said the stern parent.
have you any idea of the value Of a
dollar?''
Certainly" answered the gilded youth.
lat the club a dollar represents one white
chip"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30

If anything goes wrong with the
arrangements for Mr.. Roosevelt's African
expedition, Mr.. Loeb will be missed when
the time for explanation arrives.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30
Popular Enthusiasm.

To ask a reason for the cheering crowd !;
Whoever wins, upon election night
Applause is sure to be prolonged and
loud.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30

One of the delicate questions which
confronts the democracy every four years
is that of reminding Richard Croker that
his personal assistance may not be alto
gether beneficial.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30

Recognizing the value of first-class ad-
vertisement for good article. Mr.. Bald
win has no complaints to offer about the
governments airship award.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30

Now and then a stage hold-up is con-
summated just to remind the public that
the wild west still occupies consider
able portion of the map.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-30

Tom johnson three-cent car checks are
accepted on the same basis as legal tender
in Cleveland. Ohio. Here is one coin that
makes those recently much-discussed gold
pieces seem beautiful by comparison.