The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-07-22
Lost In Honolulu
BY James Clarence Harvey.

Honolulu is certainly spooky place
to the stranger, after the cars stop
running and the stranger has lost his
sense of direction.
/ dined wisely and well, last night,
my host was the soul of courtesy, my
hostess was hospitality itself and the
guest VINO introduced me to the moon
light was very pretty.
After we had settled all THE ethical
problems of the age and it became
my pleasant duty to take the young
lady home, we found another moon
Tit piazza and new problems arose
that had to be settled.
That was how missed the last car
for Waikiki.
I only knew that I could follow the
track for an hour or so and I should
eventually reach the Moana.
At first the night was exhilarating.
The air was balmy. The moon was
bright and all was well. but suddenly
the track led through a gate marked:
add to the intensity of the moment,
heavy cloud passed over the moon
and a bark that ought to have waken-
ed Kamehameha the First was fol-
lowed by a grim specter that looked
to my over excited imagination like
cross between an elephant and a
Dinosauraus.
I felt goose-1esh gathering under
what is left of my hair and remem-
bering that if you do not fear a dog
he will fear you, threw back my
shoulders and said:
Hello! old fellow!"
But the tremb1e in my voice was
not convincing. He followed me, sniff
fling at my heels. while 1 prayed gent
ly that his teeth might stick into
me as lightly as possible. The size
of his body and of his growl at least
made him noble enemy and I had
about determined to die game when
noisy little brother of another breed
Joined him and together they made
merry at my expense. had tackled
to starboard and secured a picket
from the fence which restored my con-
fidence and besides that 1 had dis
covered the secret of the attack. III
had rolled up my trousers to keep
them out of the dust and the dogs
had naturally mistaken my ankles for
desirable bones so I described para
bolic curves with the picket in one
hand while the other concealed the |
tempting ankles.
All this time I had been getting |
further and further away from the |
car tracks and when the dogs left me, |
a lonesome lost feeling came over me |
as I realized that everybody on the |
island was asleep, except possibly a |!
few. murderers who would soon take |
The place of the dogs and pursue me
to the bitter end. In the soft shadows |
of a Honolulu night I could not even |
imagine what or where the bitter end |
was.
IL I could have found the outline |
of Diamond Head it would have served /
as a guide, but I could see nothing |
but endless roadways going in all /
directions and the names on the street |
last I found one which read ''Bere- |
tania avenue"
I remembered tiffin at an officers |
quarters at Beretania avenue and |
Punchbowl street so I soliloquized: |
Hes on board ship. I will break in If |
necessary and sleep there
I followed this Beretania avenue for
some weeks, as it seemed to me, and
then realized that T was practically
in the hills. I had been walking in
the wrong direction. Each house that
had the ghost of a light, thus far,
looked so spooky that I could only
picture Japanese knives and swords
and pistols, had dared to rouse them
from sleep to say that I was lost.
Suddenly, less than a mile away, I
saw a moving light. I took firm
grasp on the picket and started to
meet it. 1t was load of vegetables
driven by Jap whose knowledge of
English was even more limited than
my knowledge of Japanese.
BY pointing and posturing and ejacu-
that 1 would pay him literally If he
would only take me to a car track
that I could follow. But all I could
get from him was:
mo time No time"
When I found that arguments were
I climbed to the seat be-