davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
NEARS HONOLULU
Great American Battleship
Fleet Steaming Rapidly
Toward Island City.
NEBRASKA CLOSES GAP.

Honolulu. July 13.-The Atlantic
battleship feet, under command of
Rear Admiral Sperry, is nearing Hon
olulu and wireless communication has
been established with the Connect
cut, though there is considerable in
reference from other ships and the
signals are not entirely clear.
The battleship Nebraska, which was
detained in quarantine at San Fran
cisco, owing to an outbreak of scarlet
fever among the crew. and which left
two days after the other fifteen ships
is fast closing up the gap that sep
arated them and will arrive here close
on the heels of the main fleet. Last
night the wireless station here plain
ly heard wireless messages transmit
ted by Admiral Sperry TO the Nebras-
ka to be relayed by the latter to San
Francisco
The arrival of the fleet is awaited
here with interest by all classes
Great preparations have been made
for its reception and during its weeks
stay in port officers the men will find
entertainment provided for them that
will take up all the time they can
spare from their routine duties aboard
ship.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
GOING TO PROTECT MEN
AGAINST WOMEN'S W|LES
Bill to Be Presented to State
Legislature.

Atlanta, Ga, July 13.-There prom
Uses to be lively time in the Georgia
assembly this week when the bill in
troduced by Mr.. Glenn. of Whitefield
relating to the wiles and blandish-
ments of women comes up for action.
The measure. on which a favorable
report has been ordered, provides that
If any woman, whether maid or widow
shall betray into matrimony any I'M
suspecting male subject of this state,
by scents, paints, powder, perfumes,
cosmetic waters. artificial teeth, false
hair, Spanish wool or any other kind
Of wool, iron stays, corsets, pads,
hoops. high-heel shoes, low-cut waists,
lingerie lace, variegated drop stitch
or rainbow hosiery, or by any other
artificial means or artificial practices
the marriage upon conviction shall be
nuu and void.
Mr.. Glenn, the author of the bill,
has been at a summer resort recently
and says the bill is needed.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Cverxealous.

If you have ever been annoyed by
too enterprising barber, you will ap-
preciate the little incident that left
one of them rueful and crestfallen
the other day.
Having shaved the customer. he ran
his hand over the mans head and said
insinuatingly:
Have a hair trim today, sir?''
do you think 1 need it,"
Yes; 1t locks pretty long"
well, how is the boss barber on
hair trimming? Is he pretty goodT'
Yes: he's pretty good. all right. But
why?"
well. be trimmed my hair yester-
day"-Phuadelphia Ledger.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
A Misplaced Pin.

81 was in an uptown tea room where
the scenery is all out of proportion to
the amount served you" said a New
York clubman. II was dallying with
some ice cream when my spoon struck
a common. everyday pin in the bottom
Of the frozen stuff. l gave a little
wave, and a waiter slipped to my side.
See, a pin in this ice cream I said
Why. I might have swallowed that
He took the glass and disappeared.
When he returned he reminded me of
an undertaken, he was that solemn
That pin has lost a man his job, SIR
he said. Well replied. 4 am sorry
for that, but it might have cost me my
life, when you come to think of it
Yes, SIR said the waiter meekly. Then,
You see, sir, most of the folks that
eats here just sips their ice cream and
don't chew it. New York Times.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Speaking Of Economy.

Speaking of Economy.
II used to know a clergyman" said
Secretary Wilson Of the department
Of agriculture recently who owned
fine farm and ran 1t on very econom-
zeal lines, SO that 1t paid splendidly.
Taking his usual, daily stroll over his
rich. broad acres. he saw a plowman.
while the horses rested. sitting on the
handle of his pillow. 1t occurred to the
minister that he paid this plowman 10
cents an hour, besides board. and he
stopped and said gently, but reproach-
fully:
James, wouldn't 1t be a good plan
for you to have a pair of pruning
shears here and be cutting a few
bushes. along the fence while the horses
are taking their short rest?'
james returned the minister's seri-
GUS gaze. and in the same gentle yet
reproachful voice he answered:
look here, sir. wouldn't 1t be a
good plan for you to have a tub Of po-
tatoes in the pulpit and while they're
singing the hymns to peel 'em for the
pot?'"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
SHERIFF HUNTS FOR
DYNAMITERS OF FISH
Henry County Official Has One
Man in Meshes.

New Castle, Ind, July 13.-Tollow.
ing numerous complaints TO the au-
thorities of wholesale dynamiting OF
fish in the streams of Henry county
by persons who enjoy fishing as pre-
scribed by law. Deputy Sheriff Burr
went TO Middletown and arrested
Stanley, who is charged with having
used dynamite in the streams.
Stanley was brought TO this city
and gave bond in the sum of $500 for
his appearance in circuit court in oc-
tober.
Stanley's arrest is the first made in
this county for such violations Of the
law
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
He Wanted to Know the Worst.

he Wanted to Know tho Worst.
A miner who was suffering with
dyspepsia consulted a doctor and took
his prescription to a druggist.
well, bow much?' said the miner
when the prescription was finished.
Let's see," began the druggist. tits
$1.1O for the medicine, Is cents for the
bottle. That makes
He hesitated, and the miner said i'm.
patiently:
well. hurry up, boss. Put a price
on the cork and let us know the
worst "--Ladies' Home Journal.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
JOLT For the judge.

JOLT For the Judge.
Governor Fort of New jersey tells
this story: An old Quaker woman was
a witness In a case which was being
tried one day before Judge Garrison
over in Jersey, and she wore a big
poke bonnet which muf1ed her ears
and prevented her hearing the lawyers
questions. Finally the lawyer appealed
to the judge, and he ordered her to re-
move the bonnet.
"I'll do no such thing" she said tartly.
II am accustomed to having my will
respected" said the Judge.
well, I don't care If you are Judge,
that bonnet stays right where it ISL
Perhaps, madam" the judge put in
ironically. you would like to take my
place as judge, too, eh?''
mot bit Of it." she shot out There
are enough old women on the bench in
Jersey as 1t is"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Growth Of Pity.

No one formerly looked on with any
pity or even horror at punishments
which are now found too dreadful for
description. Men were broken on the
wheel, were burned at the stake, were
racked, were cut up alive. No one
seems to have felt any pity for their
agonies. Men were put into noisome
prisons. where, with bad air and in
sufficient food. they died unnoticed
and unpitied. 1t is very different now.
Human hearts are more tender.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13

games. Refreshments were served.
Those present were: Misses Ida Bee
son, Mable Hosier, Hazel Lundy. Mel
lie Davis, Jessie Null. Edna Martin.
Leon Moffitt and Myrtle Black.
Messrs. Dale Martin, Lyman Lybult,
John Null, Verl Poland, Earl Lundy,
Van Lundy. Evan Martin, Carl Martin.
Lee Black, Claiborne McNutt, Paul
Davis, Archie Davis and Lyman Ho-
sier, of College Corner. Miss Gertrude
Hanks of Cincinnati, was one of the
honor guests.
their annual picnic at the home of
Mrs. Nellie Shinn, near Earlham.
About forty were present. Dinner
was served on the lawn. A good time
was enjoyed by all present.
y - -
Miss Mary Denzleman of Richmond.
is the guest for several days of Mr.
and Mrs. Andrew Ingraham and other
friends in the city.-Indianapolis Star.
- ~ y
Mrs. Charles Hoffman was hostess
for a social meeting of the Happy
Hour club Saturday evening at her
country home north of the city The
ty. Japanese lanterns we're used 20
light the grounds. The time was spent
socially. A musical program was also
feature. About thirty-three were in
attendance. Melon was served during
the evening. The afternoon meeting
for the club will be held Thursday.
July thirtieth. with Mrs. Will Rich,
north of the city.
~ - y
The sacred concert given last ev-
ening by the choir of the First Meth
odist church was a most successful af-
fair A large number was in atten-
dance.
Miss Agnes Williams who attended
high school here during the past year.
will leave in short time for her
home in Grand Rapids. Mich
A picnic party will be given in her
honor by number of girls, Thursday
afternoon at Glen Miller park
~ ~
The members of the Anderson
Country club have arranged for a
very clever program for the summer
season. Meetings will be held on the
lawn and short summer out-of-door
plays will be presented at these social
gatherings by various members Of the
club.
- -
The following item will be of local
interest as several Of the persons are
well known locally:
Miss Eleanor Murphy gave pickan-
inny party Friday evening in honor OF
Miss Anna Wise, who will leave for
Denver. Colo. tomorrow. The favors
were miniature dolls The guests in
cluded Miss Mae Burns. Miss Rather.
inc Murphy. Miss Sarah Duffy, Miss
! Mollie Murphy, Miss Anna Kelly, Miss
Bertha Dwyer, Miss Mildred Dodson,
Mr.. Boyce Lee, Mrs. John UIey. the
Misses Mollie and Alice Jackson OF
Butte. Mont-Indianapolis Star.
! The Misses Murphy spent the
/ Fourth in this city and were guests al
several picnjcs while here.
- - e
/ Miss Josephine Gates. Miss juliet
Swayne. Mr.. Norman Craighead and
Mr.. Walter Craighead formed a picnic
party yesterday.
- e y
The Ladies Aid society of the REID
Memorial church will hold a picni,
Wednesday afternoon. July Is. Sup
per will be served On the hospita
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13

lawn. A conveyance will leave Eighth
and Main streets at $50 O'Clock.
- - -
Miss Mable Barber of South Thir-
teenth street. left this morning for
Milwaukee. Wis.
- 80 -
Mrs. II. V. McLelland viii be hos
tess for meeting of the Spring Grove
Sewing circle. tomorrow, at her home.
sol North Eleventh street
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13

A Lost Apology.
What beautifully woman Mrs. Ray
mond isl" heaexciaimed asshe entered
the sitting room. "Is have just had
such a pleasant talk%with her in the
bookstore"
His wife looked up from her sewing,
John" she exclaimed, where is
your collar7'
He put his hand to his throat. II
must have left 1t at the barber shop.
Yes, that's it. / went to the barber
shop, then to the bookstore. Why"
he ended lamely, Mrs. Raymond
would think 1t very careless of me to
appear in public without my collar,
wouldn't sheT'
Rather" said his wife. Perhaps
you'd better call her UP and tell her
just how 1t happened"
He went to the.telephone.
Hello, central. hello! Hello! Is this
Mrs Raymond? Yes? Well. really. it
was very stupid of me- Mrs. Raymond;
but. you know. had been thinking of
something very important. and quite
forgot to put on my collar. I-oh-ah-
goodby"
He suddenly hung up the receiver
and gave utterance to a mild exclama-
ton.
John" exclaimed his wife.
"She says she hasn't been out of the
house today" he groaned.-Harper'
Magazine.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Some Heiohts In the Catski1is,

The height Of some Of the tallest and
most interesting mountains in the
CatskiIls is as follows: Slide mountain.
1920 feet: Hunter mountain, 4.o52:
Black Dome 4,oo4; Thomas Cole noun
tain. 1915; Mount Cornell. 1920: Peak
o Moose mountain. 3.SI5: the Witten-
berg. 1924: Sugar Loaf. 1907; High
Peak. $500: Panther mountain, $500;
Windham High Peak. 1854; North
mountain. $3.50: Overlook mountain.
$500: Plaaterskill mountain, $500; On
teora mountain, o,6S5-
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Tho Problem Solved.

Newed-My wife has a habit Of TAX
ing money from my pockets when I'm
asleep. Oldwed-Mine used to do that
too. but she doesn't any more. Newed
How do you prevent it? Oldwed-I
spend every cent ! have before l 60
home.-Chicago News.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
His Dream.

Towne-Do you believe in dreams?
Browne-I used to, but 1 don't any
more. Tewne-Not as superstitious as
you were, Ell? Browne-Oh, it wasn't
a question ot superstition. I was in
love with on, once. and she Tilted me-
Catholic Standard and. Times.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13

The organ around which sll the other organs
rcvolve. and upon which they are largely de-
pendent for their welfare. is the stomsch
When the functions of the stom sch become i'm
paired. the bowels and liver also become de-
ranged To cure q Disease of the stomach Hver
n bowels get q 50 cent or 81 bottle of Dr. Caic
els Syrup Persin st your druggists. u
y promrtest relief for constipation - 6yS
ycps.a ever &C upo0n1
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
She Voted.

What was the topic Of debate in our
club today" asked one member of the
feminine society.
THE topic Of debate" was the re-
Spouse. "Why--er-let me see-I can't
remember what the topic was. But /
voted on either the positive or negative
side of the question. forget which,"
Washington Star.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13

During a golf match between the
Rev. DIR. Sterret and Justice Harlan
Of the United States supreme court at
the Chevy Chase Golf club. near Wash
ington, the doctor discovered his ball
teed up in tempting style for fine
brassie shot. With the utmost DELHI
Grafton he went through the prelim-
mary "waggaes" and with q supreme
effort-missed the ball. For fully a
minute he gazed at the tantalizing
sphere without uttering a word. At
length Justice Harlan remarked SOL
EMMY. Doctor. that was the most pro-
fame silence I ever listened to-"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Delicious Chocolate Pie

You Should Try This Reeipe:-
quart milk, l package "ouR-PiE"
Follow directions on package Each
package makes 2 pies. kinds, Lem
on. Chocolate, Custard. 10c. Order
from any grocer.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Miaht Be With tho Buffers.

Might Be With tho Buffers.
II hope" said the new made widow
with dry sob, that poor Thomas
won't be ranged with the goats instead
Of the sheep
Dear madam" replied the CONSIDER
"your dear late partner was a truly
good man."
Yes, 1 know he was; but. no matter
where he was or what he was doing,
Thomas would butt in
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
An Exceotion.

"Ah. kind friend" said the minister,
cit is deeds. not words. that count"
"Oh. don't know replied the wom-
an. Did you ever send a telegram p
Detroit Free Press.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Cheerino.

Aspirant-You have heard my voice,
professor. Now please tell me candid
" what branch of vocalism it is best
adapted for. Professionalism
Ing.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
A Competent Witness.

A friend of the family had been sum-
moned to testify, much against his will,
as to certain domestic disturbances in
a Chicago household.
you saw these blows administer
edg asked counsel.
Yes, SIR"
did you see the beginning of the
quarrel between this man and his
wife?"
II did"
when was itT'
"Six years ago."
"Six years ago! How is that posi-
ble?"
II was a guest at their wedding"
said the witness.-Ladies' Home Jour
nal.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13

Nerve, Sure Enough.
1.-The neryiest individual that ever !
encountered" says ex-senator Mason
of Illinois, was a chap that dashed
into an accommodation train running
from Chicago to Evanston ON an coca
sion when'I was occupying a seat near
the door.
Just before this person appeared In
my car the other passenger or two and
myself had heard yelling In the
train shed, in the confusion Of which
we heard some one shout, stop thief
well, when this person did scampeI
into my car he looked about for an in
slant with every appearance of a hunt.
ed animal. Then he dived under my
seat, exclaiming:
"'Sir, I rely upon your honor. -
IxppincottS.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Did He See the Point?

Did He See the Point2
A young woman OF the official set In
Washington at public function found
herself bored by the attentions of a
fresh young man, the son of senator.
Soon after his introduction he pro-
ceeded to regale her with a story Of
some adventure in which he had fig
ured as hero.
Did you really do that" she asked,
not knowing what else to say.
Il done it, was the proud response,
and he began forthwith another
lengthy narrative, more startling even
than the first. The young woman
again politely expressed her surprise.
Yes" said the hero, that's what 1
doner'
A third story followed, with another
"I done itr' whereupon the girl re-
marked:
do you know, you remind me so
strongly of Banquo's ghost in the
playr'
"Why?"
Don't you remember that Macbeth
said to the ghost, Thou canst not say
/ did tv"-Lippincotts
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Bound In Calf.

Bound IN CaN.
A millionaire cattleman who was as
ignorant as he was rich led a visitor
into a great room lined with thousands
Of volumes.
See them booksr' he said.
Yes" said the visitor.
They're all bound in calf, amt
theyT'
yes" the visitor agreed: they seem
to have uniform binding
well, sir" he said. II killed all them
calves myself"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
THE ToUCHSToNE.

I told mine enemy the truth. His brow
At first grew stern. and from his angry
eve
The lishtnings flashed. But soon he
spake: IT'S now
see judged you falsely. Wrong was I,
Forgive me for the past and let us forth
To roam through peaceful meads. all
strife at end"'
So arm in arm we went, no longer wroth.
The truth had made mine enemy a friend.
/ told my friend the truth. He bravely
smiled
And, with a gracious courtesy. averred,
''Your candor pleases met Yet meath his
mild
And glad exterior a something stirred
Which palmer said than words: I'VE are
estranged
Forevermore. Your lance hath wounded
Past all redress" Love had to hatred
changed.
The truth had made my friend an enemy
Eleanor. c. ponnelly.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Whom the Gar Proposed.

Whom the Gar Proposed.
The car of Russia had met the lady
whom he wished to make his wife, and
he had obtained his fathers consent
to the match, but it still remained for
him to make his proposal to the girl
herself.
The sacred words had to be uttered
in the old formula which Russian court
etiquette prescribes for such occasions.
Seating himself beside the girl, he
took her hand in his.
The emperor. my father he said.
has commanded me to make you the
offer of my hand and heart"
MY grandmother. the queen" she
replied. her eyes twinkling with mis-
chief has commanded me to accept
the offer of your hand"
Then she broke into a merry laugh.
Your heart" she added, II take of
my own accord"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13

The natives of the kongo Free State
are very particular about their Sunday
dress. They appear In the very gay
est Of clothing they can find.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
PICNIC A SUCCESS.

Members Of Entire Nous Club Near
Greensboro.
II was a jolly good time that the
members of the Entire Nous club had
at the picnic of the club Saturday
night and Sunday near Greensboro.
Practically all the members of the
club were in attendance, Sunday. The
picnics are annual affairs with the
club.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Two Kinds of Bass.

Two Ntnos OF 6ase.
A gentleman told his wife one Satur-
day morning on leaving the house that
he was going to spend the day at the
lake fishing and would later wind up
his weeks work at the Office during
the cool evening and would therefore
not be at home till late. He. promised
to send out by messenger at O'Clock
the result OF the days catch. Before
Joining the other three. gentlemen in
the game OF paimistry that he thus
sought to cover up he telephoned the
store where he was accustomed to get
all his table supplies to send up to his
house about 6 o'clock a dozen bass and
for the messenger to say to his wife
that they came from him. When he
came home ON the last reach toward
midnight he asked his wife II she had
got the fine bass he had caught. She
showed them to him. The purveyor Of
table delicacies had sent him a dozen
Bass Of TIE bottled kind.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
THE SCRAP BOOK

Welcome to Him.
Good morning, maam," began the
temperance worker. I'm collecting
for the Inebriates' home and
why, me husbands out" replied
Mrs. Mcclure, but if ye can find him
anywhere's ye're welcome to him
Every body's.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Woman's Wit.

A man found that his wife had
bought few puffs of false hair. This
displeased him. So one day he hid in
the hall outside of her room, and just
as the lady was adjusting the false
puffs he darted In upon her.
MARY" he said reproachfully, "why
do you put the hair of another woman
upon your head?"
John" retorted Mary, with a glance
at her husbands shoes. why do you
put the skin Of another calf upon your
feet?"-Every body's.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13

Preventing a Possible 6lunder.
A young man who was to be married
In church to Miss Way after court
ship Of many years privately request.
ed the choir not to sing This Is the
Way I Long Have Sought"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Nerve.

Norve.
A lady sent her cook to buy the
Christmas turkey, but when the cook
returned she had two chickens.
Martha" the lady said. Il told you
to get turkey, not chicken"
II know, mum, but l don't like tur-
key"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13

DRUsULA:
It's what YOU can do all He time with Cold
Nsdoi Flour that counts. Try it ANGELA
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-07-13
Men Don't Change.

Men Don't Change.
Dad (severely)-And,l look here. Ethel,
you mustn't encourage that young
man to stay 80 late every. night. It's
disgraceful. What does your mother
say about It?
Etbel-She says men haven't altered
q bit, dad.