Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-04-22
She Hrgus Daily Short Story
Bred in the Bone. BY James Morton.
Copyrighted 1905 by the Associated Literary Press

Ezra Billings and Martha Scott ba
married rather late in life. Each was
known TO have opinions" but it was
generally agreed that they would live
happily. SO they did, but their way
We're not exactly understood by fheir
friends. Before they had .,een mar.
ried two weeks Martha callel Err, tbo
biggest fool in Saginaw county orf
Ezra called her an old cat. Neither
was the least hit angry. 1t was lust
their way, and they understood eacI,
other
Ihe% did not dissemble and play the
hypoc,fte when third party was nros-
ent Ezra had courted Martha for four
years before marrying her. and she
was the only woman he had ever loved
Dlt this did not stand in the way OF his
saying to her in the presence of old
Aunt Jackson, Martha, If we had q
chicken on the farm with less brains
chan you've got I'll wiring its neck,
And then Martha felt in duffy bound
TO good naturedly reply. Ezra Billings.
IL didn't lead you around by Il strinc
you'd be sitting down on the hot stove
hale the time"
In time it got to be known that the
couple wrarSlcd like Il dog and a cat,
and fifty families became more or less
interested. In time also they passed to
stronger terms and epithets. Between
themselves they didn't mean anything
by it. 1t was just a little harmless way
of his when Ezra said to Martha i,
/ front of tin peddler: 'Say. woman
don't smile at me and ask my opinion
about dishpaHs. If | hadn't been
watching You like hawk this morn
Ing you'd have put paris green in my
coffee"
THAT amt the way to kill off born
FOOLS replied Martha You've got to
hit 'em with an ak as they are lying
asleep in bed
OF course the peddler passed il along
and of course the lightning rod and the
! windmill man passed along what they
heard, and ut last the neighbors woke
up each morning expecting to find that
foul murder had been done during the
night
AIR. and Mrs. Billings were members
or one of the churches down in the vii
lage. and their pastor was finally an.
pealed to. Being conservative as well
as 4 good man. he thought the matter
over for time and then preached a
sermon to fit the subject. 1t was a hill
at both, and they We're there to hear
and yet when they left the church
Ezra was heard to say, Martha, If the
| preacher had walloped me as he did
you Ia keep my head shut for the next
fourteen years.
"Wailop me.' she replied. Ezra
! Billings, every single word of that ser
mon was meant for you, and if you
keep on wrangling with me the people
will turn out and give you coat of
tar and feathers"
Then the preacher decided that it was
| his duty to call at the farmhouse and
make a more direct appeal. Martha
| was glad to see him. She said she
was glad. She said she was in need of
| advice and was just thinking of COM
| ing to see him. She said it was about
| that fool husband of hers.
Hekhad taken it into his head that
| the world was round, when everybody
| else knew better, and had threatened
to brain her with the crowbar if she
didn't believe as he did. He wouldn't
| do it, of course. Ezra was one of the
best men in the world, whether it was
| round or fiat, and he couldn't be
brought to kill fly, but she thought
| he ought to be wrestled with for talk
Ing that way.
"But, Sister Billings, you have been
| heard to threaten to poison your bus.
band" protested the good man.
| "Oh, but that's just our way!"
"And to pour hot lead in his ear as
he slept
''Yes, but Ezra knows l wouldn't dc
| such thing. If he was afraid of that
he wouldn't sleep and snore the way
he does"
| you have threatened to throw him
over the curb into the WELL"
"But if did he would climb righ
out and kiss me-"