The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-05
BY FRANKLIN FYLEs.

mans would dominate the occasion. A
man of gray dignity, and declared 10
be a San Francisco judge of high de-
gree-but wasn't he an actor of heavy
fathers out of job?-presided at the
main table. The twenty-three other
wearers of dinner coats and polished
white shirts were less impressive;
they looked as though the week-night
super's wage of half a dollar had been
cut down to a quarter; and the dozen
girls hadn't been asked over from the
BOweTy to Broadway to sit In the cof-
fee and cigarette end of a dinner, but
they may hayes made some observers
guess So The audience was asked 10
fancy that some chummy Californians
had been celebrating the Golden state.
and were convivially hilarious. when
the rising curtain exposed them to
view quite Unexpectedly.
A high tenor balladist stood by a
piano. the player of which stood equit-
ably by him. The Californian young
gentlemen at the tables were trying
to keep their msfit shirt front straight
by strutting i'm their seats, while they
toyed with glasses that showed no
stain of California grape squeeze. The
only bottle nozZled with the shreds of
a champagne seal stood close to the
operative elbow and protective hand
of the judge from San Francisco and
the one visible cigar was kept burn
ing by his good old gray honor's
breath bellows. The girl guests. who
would have looked true to truth if
billed as chair warmers from the camp
concert halls of 40 were nibblng at
what | guessed were dessert bits OF
cake and candy. till the prolonged
durability of the cuds tipped me off to
a better bet that the material of such
slow mastication couldn't be aught
else than gum.
The management had been too re-
spectful OF James A. Herne's memory
to attempt an effaeement of the tur-
key dinner in Shore Acres" Nothing
smelt, fixed or was otherwise real
istic I'm Bohemia" The method was
more suggestively artistic, more i'm
Professionally vague. more imaginative
~ atmospheric; for didn't the judge
mention the banquet as having been
held mainly at a neighboring restau-
rant, and brought thence to let the
audience see it's finish? l would not
lige to seem presumptuous; my ideas
are bound to be crude as to this at-
fair of exquisite taste; but wouldn't
il have been a masteTstroke of genius
Quill toothpicks TO those two dozen
Califorians, so that during the en-
suing show they could keep up the IL
fusion Of a preceding repast by picking
invisible bits of II out of their word
less mouths?
The portly old fellow who played the
California Judge was as wooden a
stick as ever was cast for a comedy
role As POSTMASTER at dinner of
undertakers he would be too funereal;
and when he stood up to introduce the
first specialists, / wouldn't have been
surprised TO head him say: Friends
desiring TO view the remains may now
have the opportunity to do So" What
he did say was: Two young gentle
men from San Francisco have prom
ised to entertain us. They are some
where i'm the house. We will try to
find them" Thereupon an operator of
a searchilght aimed il here and there
until it illumined two chaps on their
way down an aisle across a footbridge
over the absent orchestra's pit and
thence to the stage.
In the phrase of the early Califor-
MAN music hall" said the Judge.
don't shoot them, for they'll do the
best they can
Their best was bad doggerel and
worse dialogue; and while they were
at it the audience all but rated "a
Night in Bohemia" as an amateur
night" to be enjoyed by guying if at
all.
The pTemonitions of raillery i'm the
audience caused visible nervousness on
the stage; the young ladies and gentle
men from California caught an uneasy
cue from the judge, as they slipped air
from dry glasses, ate nothing with
bare spoons from empty dishes, or
chewed gum. a waiter made a busy
round of the tables, and seemed to
take away many orders from the
guests, but he never came back with
anything except a highball and a cigar
for the chairman. Am / wrong in the
insinuation that he was an actor on a