davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Glenwood post., 1908-08-08

1.-THE engineer" sighed Steve
"Oh, you droll chap" said the pick
le-pusher give me some tooth-picks.'
Then Sweet William went over to
big window, burrowed into big
chair, stuck his feet up on the brass
rail- ate toothpicks, and thought he
was IT.
When / got back to Steve he was
dealing out the cards to lady from
Reading, Pa.
Her husband had been up in the
air with bum automobile, and when
he came down he was several sections
shy
They found monkey wrench i'm
bedded in his left shoulder which he
couldn't remember using when he
tried to fix the machine.
She was travelling for his health.
MY room is Immediately over the
Kitchen" she informed Steve.
THE cook hasn't made a kick up to
now,' Steve went back at her.
But they've been frying onions
ever since we took the room yester-
day afternoon" she snapped.
Yes, madam" chortled smiling
Steve, this is a local option town,
and the onion is the only pickle that's
allowed to appear in public
She started get-back but her in
dignation choked her, SO she gave
Steve the society sting with both eyes
and 1ounced out.
Steve bit the end off penholder
and said the rest internally.
Just then couple of troupers
trailed in.
They were with the Bandits Bride
Co." and the way had been long and
weary.
What have you got-double?"
asked the villain Of the piece.
1.-TWO dollars and up!" said Steve.
Nothing better?" inquired Low
Comedy. He was making a crack, but
nobody caught him.
-Four dollars, with BATH" Steve sug
gested
"Board?" asked the villain.
Nothing but sleeps and fresh
cake of soap" said Steve.
Ring down." Low Comedy put in.
The Glenwood post., 1908-08-08

Why, we lived whole week in Pitts
burg for less than that"
You can turn the same trick here
If you carry your own choke and sleep
in the park said Steve.
Whats the name of this mint?"
asked the villain.
Steve told him.
ITO the tow-path!" said Barrett
Macready; we're outside the lifelines.
We thought It was the Liverwurst no
tel, where they throw things at your
appetite for 81 day. double. To
the left, wheel! Forward, march,"
followed those two troupers out
to the dingy barroom, because the
moment 1 saw them l knew 1t was q
cinch they'd. pull some wheezes that
that would hand me couple of CUFFS.
THE woods for ours! Isn't this a
bird Of place for show to get
stranded" groaned the low comic, as
he gave the Reub bartender the high
sign, and the latter pushed forward
two glasses and black bottle.
ut wouldn't have been so bad II the
show had gone to pieces in some burg
where the people have insomnia in
the daytime" the juvenile growled.
But here. Mike, the men go to work
in their pajamas, and the town has
MT any street cars because the con-
ductor's bell sounds too much like an
alarm-clock,' and 1t might wake the
mayor" .llIs
think that will hold you for to-
night. Bunch. It's enough for me.
and II I'm strong enough tomorrow
I'll hand you the balance.
Same as ever,
J. H.
Copyright. 1903. by @. W. Dillingham; Coz
The Glenwood post., 1908-08-08
JOHN HENQM
ON TIE al'o'5
HOTEL.
BY GEO. v. HOBART, CHUGH M'HuGH.D

Dear Bunch: I'm doing hot-foot
over the state for the insurance COM
pany I've hooked up with, and I'm
having the time of my life-believe
me not.
Say, aren't some of these Reub
beaneries the woozy limit
blew into the Commercial house at
Spoonsbury day before yesterday, and
His Nobs. the hotel clerk, certainly
staked me to fine bundle of home
made laughs.
Did you ever make Spoonsbury,
Bunch?
Oh! it's on the map, all right.
Spoonsbury is railroad junction
where careless people change cars and
wait for the other train.
fell for this Change cars" gag and
went over to the Commercial house to
kill time.
was deep in conversation with
Steve Splevin, the hotel clerk, when
an old guy with Persian rug trim
mings on the end of his chin squeezed
up and began to let peep out of him
about the pie he had eaten for dinner.
Calm YOURSELF" said Smiling Steve.
and tell me where it bit you"
Steve has been throwing keys at
the wall for some time, and he knows
how to burn the beefers.
Bit me! bit mel" snarled the old
guy with the tapestry chin-piece;
nothing of the kind, sir. / want you
to know. sir, that your pie isn't fit to
eat, sir!"
Cut it out.' suggested Steve.
| Cut it out, sir; how can l cut it out
when I've eaten it, sir? It's an out
rage, and | shall leave this hotel to-
morrow" said Omar Khayaam.
With the exception of $31.72, bal
ance due, that will be about all from
you," said Steve.
III see the proprietor said the old
guy, moving away with face on him
like four dollars in bad money.
We get it good and plenty every
day." said Steve, and just then some
thing about six feet tall, wearing
slouch hat and gilt mustache fell
against the counter. grabbed the regis
ter and buried stub pen in its pages.
| After looking over the result, l de
cided the strangers first name must
on the register.
"Bath?" queried Steve.
"Only during hot wave" said
Skate.
Steve went to the ropes, but he
came up smiling, as usual.
american or European?" asked
Steve.
Neither" said Skate. Don't you
see I'm from Jersey City?"
Going to be with US long?" inquired
Steve
Say, Bub! you're hellanall on ask
ing questions, now amt your an
swered Skate. You just push me into
stall and lock the gate-Im tired"
Front! show this gentleman to
49," said Steve, side-stepping to avoid
punishment.
Then Sweet William, the Boy Drum
mer, hoped into the ring for the next
round.
Willie peddles pickles for the fun
he gets out of it.
1t is Willies joy and delight to
get n ginger-ale bun on and recite
"Osler joe"
When trained down to s5 fiat, Willie
can get up and beat the clapper off
"Curfew Shall Not Ring Tonight"
When Willie gets strangle-hold on
"Sheridan's Ride" you can hear horses
galloping outside.
It's the rest of the community get
ting out of harms way.
ANY mail?" inquired Willie.
All the mail that Willie ever gets Is
The Glenwood post., 1908-08-08
Secret Prison Writing.

Copyright. 1908. by @. W. Dillingham;
The Glenwood post., 1908-08-08

ties when consider the fact that 1000 children born
world during the first - MONTHS and
the remainder before the end of the fifth imperative
that proportion of efforts should be directed the
ton of this terrible loss to the during infancy?
To this should paediatrics be taught the curriculum of
colleges by thoroughly capable padar but of clinical med
should be considered complete until large of time shall
have been devoted to the study of children.
Not every practitioner expected to acquire the knowledge of
cast every physician to-day be expected know
enough about children appreciate his limitations and when he does
this and honest with his patients and himself he will seek competent
when needed he does conditions of the
Also order that he do his duty by the children his practice he
the right wrong handling hem teach the
parents that they in turn may do their duty.
The Glenwood post., 1908-08-08
" Western
o Civil.
sa ZatiOn
Superior
By REV. THOMAS Epw. Barr
Psssse Rsssss's Church. Nnvaahss.

tions unique.
deep human nature Science
theory life which gives unity and stability to nature
When thinkers realized freedom to investigate the
ous atmosphere which they lived atmosphere pregnant with the
thought earth Lords and the une thereof nightly
helped them to trace order and unity in nature
Character appeals for the greatest sacrifice and humanity for the high
inspiration future which makes
the degraded of
saints 81 the Almighty God walk thou before and be thou
unfag spring inspiration and has frucfed the
Of the least of these"
The Glenwood post., 1908-08-08

1t is assumed in the countries we
know best that there is but one form of
wrongdoing Virtue has for us most usu-
ally one rather narrow significance, and
home keeping is vaunted as a means of
avoiding the one and encouraging the 9TH
er. The great, the all-embracing virtues
of charity, kindliness, generosity, are COM
paratively disdained so long as certain
measure of propriety is observed, man or
woman may be as petty, as hard, as ego
tistical as self-seeking can make them, and
the puritanical, the fanatical upholder Of
domesticity is satisfied this is the extreme
The Glenwood post., 1908-08-08
Infant
Mortality
Chargeable to Neg
leCt of Medical
Colleges
BY DIR. L. T. ROYSTER,
Norfolk. Va.

AEDATR1CS should be taught thoroughly in medi
cal colleges anatomy surgery yet is only within the
past few years that this branch has been given attention
whatever separate in the curriculum, with the
result that had graduated and become practcng phy
cans knowing nothing concerning this class of patients
sequeny these patients have been turned the tender
merces of old and superstition, usually synonymous
terms
The study of paediarcs to-day in the class of special
The Glenwood post., 1908-08-08

OF nations, as of men, the four corners
of character are integrity, industry, justice
and love. These are directly affected by the
religious life of the people, and by them the
value of religious philosophy may be known.
Taking but two of these, justice and
love, the contrast between the two sides Of
the world is conclusive.
With all its imperfections the western
civilization has standard of honor and an
administration Of justice far beyond that Of
the east; and both in the treatment of
women and in care for the unfortunate there
is a difference which makes biblical civiliza-
The Glenwood post., 1908-08-08

A remarkable secret writing Of the
prisons has been brought to notice in
Germany by Prof. Gross. A we'll
moistened sheet Of writing paper II
laid on q hard, smooth surface under
dry sheet, a hard point being then
used to write on the latter, which then
at once destroyed. The writing. which
disappears from the bottom sheet on
gradually drying. -reappsars distinct-
ly as often as the sheet is moistened.
The Glenwood post., 1908-08-08
Air Makes Frsneh People chssreuI.

Air Makes French People chssrsul.
One Of the great charms Of Paris
is certainly its atmosphere-so clear.
light and buoyant; 1t is like inhaling
champagne. Paris in May or juno II
sufficient to convert the veriest Of
hypochondriac into cheerful. good
natured being. This climate has. mo
doubt. . great influence on the char
acter of the people, and accounts for
their 3oyousness. their sxcitahfllty.
their wit.-Donahoe's Magazine.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-10-05

patter in the country can accept that
as satisfactory andS the rankest free
trader can find delight in it. He is
right again in saying that the declar-
alton means simply nothing And
again he is right in saying AN attempt
to legislate along that line would sim
ply open the way to interminable
wrangling as to what constitutes "a rea-
sonable profit for hair-splitting on
wages on one industry, price of raw
materials in another. rebates and draw
backs in third. and so on through the
list of thousands of articles that are
now on the tariff lists.
But hardly expected from him SO
frank an expression as is contained In
the last sentence of his editorial, 'un-
der such a proposition, an attempt at
tariff revision Che says "at Bryan's di
rection," but would it not be true il
done at Taft's direction?) would serve
to halt the Industrial and commercial
progress and keep business unsettled
during his term of office
'This is a rich find. 1t shows how
absurd the republican platform looks
to republican when the republican
has chance to look at it in a disinter
ested way. When Mr.. Rosewatel
thought that the language quoted wa.
taken from a speech of mine, he coult
see how ridiculous the language was
1 hope that his opinion of the language
will not change when ne finds Iii2t HI
was shooting at his own platform in
stead of at me.
"The amusing blunder of the Omah'
Bee suggests a new diversion for tn
campaign. Let the democrats accus
me of using various sections from tn
republican platform and from M,
Taft's speeches and see how the repul
licsn editors will ridicule the Ian
guage.'
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-10-05
ROOSEVELT on STUMP
TO AID FADING HOPE?
Report at Bryan's Home That Presi-
dent Will Make Last Desper-
ate Effort.

Lincoln. Neb., Oct. 5.-That Presi-
dent Roosevelt fully intends to take
the stump in favor of the candidacy
of Mr.. Taft is the report received at
Fairview from the east. 1t was said
that the advices came from persons
upon whom reliance could be placed,
and were to the effect that Mr.. Roose-
welt is planning to make at least six
speeches in the course of trip from
the Atlantic to the Pacific. the con.
Guiding speech to be delivered at San
Francisco, with numerous short
speeches en- route. Mr.. Bryan, how
ever, absolutely refused to make any
comment upon the subject.
In order to devote still further at
tention TO the state of Iowa, the demo
cratic candidate announced a change
in his plans in connection with his
trip to Chicago, where "Wednesday
night he is to meet Mr. Taft at BAH
quet. Instead of leaving here Tues
day afternoon and going direct to Chi
cago as had been arranged, Mr.. Bryan
will start tomorrow night for DeS
Moines, from which point he will on
Tuesday proceed to Perry, Tama and
Cedar Rapids and deliver set speeches
while from the rear platform of the
train en- route he probably will make
several short talks. The journey to
Chicago will be made Tuesday night.
Although it has not been definitely
, settled, it now is planned that Mr..
Bryan shall speak in st. Louis Friday
evening, and then reenter Kansas on
Saturday for full day in that state
returning to Lincoln Sunday. 1t also
is likely that before making his final
trip into the middle west and the east
he will spend day or two in cam
paigning in his own state.
The day at Fairview was a quiet
one. In the afternoon Mr.. and Mrs
| Bryan drove to the homes of several
sick friends and later the democratic
candidate called at the Hotel Lincoln
and held brief conference with Sen
ator Gore, who was about leaving fol
st. Joseph, Mo.
| Mr.. Bryan this morning went ou
| TO Havelock. where are located the
shops of the Burlington railroad, anl
addressed the laboring men. Mr.. Taf
a few days ago spoke at the same
Place.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-10-05
JOKE OF THE CAMPAIGN IN A REPUBLICAN PAPER RAP
PING ITS own PLATFORM AS A DOCTRINE OF BRYAN

Lincoln, Neb., Oct Sit is William
Jennings Bryan's time to laugh. On
the arrival of the Omaha papers Sat
urday it was found that one of the
most amusing mistakes made from a
prominent republican source for some
time has been committed in an edi-
torial in the Omaha Bee, published by
Victor RoSewater, member OF the re-
publican executive committee and head
of the republican publicity bureau
Mr.. Rosewater's paper has made the
blunder of criticising vigorously part
of the tariff plank of the republican
platform, the writer being under the
impression that he was really pouring
hot shot into Mr.. Bryan. The demo.
cratic leader, in recent speech, had
quoted that part of the republican
platform which is criticised.
Where the Joke Came In.
The editorial in Mr. Rosewater's pa
per goes on the theory that this Ian
guage was Mr.. Bryan's own, the writer
falling to notice that the language was
really part of the platform on which
Mr.. Taft is running.
The consequence of this is that Mr.
Bryan and his friends have on broad
grin today and they think that the
smiles at Fairview are likely to spread
to all democrats in the country.
The words complained of in the Be,
editorial were these:
I'm all tariff legislation the tru,
| principle is best maintained by the i'm
position of such duties as will eQua
the difference between the cost of pro
duction at home and abroad, togethe
with reasonable profit to American in
dustries."
The Bee went on to puncture thi
language in the following style:
J Nothing prettier in the catch-al
tline has been offered In this campaign
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-10-05
HARD RAP FOR TAFT
FROM LABOR LEADER
Gompers, Head of Federation, Hits
Back as to a
Il Charge.

Washington, Oct 5.-Samuel Com
pers, president of the American FEEDER
alton of Labor, has issued a statement
in which William H. Taft. republican
candidate for the presidency, is bitter
ly arraigned because of the latter's
charge in speech at Denver last night
that the labor leader was Lying to his
followers"
''It is quite evident that Candidate
Taft is losing his temper, as well as
his manners and dignity" asserts Mr.
Gompers. He cannot meet the truth
and the justice of labor's contention as
regards his injunctions, his party's re-
fusal i'll congress to accord the relief
from discriminating decisions against
the workers in the injunction abuse
and from the Sherman antitrust law
under which the voluntary organiza
held as trusts.
"The working people of the country
know that Mr.. Taft's ridicule and rasp
ing sarcasm are not aimed at me, but
at them, for there is not one thought
have expressed or one step which
have taken but had initiative in the
rank and file of Americas toiline
masses, unorganized as we'll as organ
lied.
did not Candidate Taft read, or die
not some one tell him, that neither my
colleagues nor myself have either by
word or action assumed that we ha6
the right or the power to deliver the
labor vote to any candidate? Does he
not know that upon every OCCASION il
this campaign have emphatically de
clared that l did not presume either tt
dictate to or deliver the vote of, any
citizen of the entire country, and hav
ing known this fact, is it fair for Mr.
Taft to declare and reiterate SO palpa
BILE an unt-uth?"
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-10-05

The most hide-bOund Standpatter in
the country can accept that as satisfac-
tory and the rankeSt free trader can
find delight in it. The declaration
means simply nothing. An attempt to
1egislate along that line would simply
open the way to interminable wrang-
ling as to what constitutes "a reason
able profit for hairsplitting on wages
on one industry, price of raw mater
in a third, and so on through the list
of thousands of articles that are now
on the tariff revision, at Bryan's direc.
ton, would serve only to halt indus
trial and commercial progress and keep
business unsettled during his term of
Office"
Saturday mornings Omaha World
Herald shows that the words complain,
ed of are not part of any speech OF
Mr.. Bryan, but a part of the tariff
plank of the republican platform.
Bryan Much Surprised.
Mr.. Bryan had this to say when the
matter was called to his attention:
81 am very much surprised that Mr.
Rosewater should have attempted tt
|misrepresent my position. A goot
many unfair. things have been said, bu
nothing more unfair than that said b,
Mr.. Rosewater. To accuse me of usins
the language of the republican plat
form is an outrage. He ought to apol
osize for this injustice and explain t,
his readers that the language which h,
criticises was taken from the republi
can platform and not from any speecl
of mine.
"Mr. Rosewater is right, however. il
making fun of the language. He i
right in saying that nothing prettie
in the catch-all line has, been offered il
this campaign He is also right il
saying that the most hide-bound stant
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-10-05
FLEET IN TYPH0ON
American Warships Encounter Terrific
Hurricane in Far
East.
ANCHORAGE FOUND UNSAFE
Japan Preparing Great Welcome tc
the Globe Circling
Vessels.

Manila, Oct 5.-The Atlantic battle
ship fleet has safely outridden hurri.
cane which swept Manila bay for II
hours and did much damage ashore.
Typhoon signals were displayed
early Sunday morning. but the storm
broke over the bay suddenly and un-
expectedly at noon. 1t was impossible
to hoist the cutters and launches be-
longing to the fleet because of the
danger of smashing them against the
steel sides of the battleships. and the
little craft were sent scurrying inside
the breakwater into the PaSig river,
where they remained all night. The
storm increased rapidly in intensity
and the torrential rains shut in the
ships. At s o'clock Sunday night the
storm had reached its height, and it
then gradually tapered down until at
midnight it was comparatively calm,
although the seas swung across the
harbor
Ready for Any Emergency.
During the storm all the battleships
had steam up ready for any emer-
gency. Rear Admiral Sperry finally
ordered the flagship Connecticut and
the Kansas Minnesota, Vermont, Vir
ginia and Ohio under way. They
! were close to the breakwater and Ad
miral Sperry feared they might drag
anchors. The six vessels steamed
down close to Cavite, where they
anchored.
At times the wind blew at the rate
of 1O0 miles an hour. All communica
ton with shore was cut off. 1t was i'm
possible during the height of the storm
to see the warships through the haze
of rain ard spray.
On shore it was dangerous to &C
about. Several carriages were over
turned by the wind, trees were blowI
down. electric wires were broken anC
several buildings were unroofed
Among the buildings unroofed was the
depot of the commissary.
There was no shore leave toda!
among the officers, the only ones wh'
are allowed in the city on account o
the cholera, and as a consequence
none of them were caught away from
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-10-05
DEBS is CHASED BY A MOB
Runs From His Own Adherents, Who
Wax Enthusiastic in New York.

New York, Oct 5.-There was a wild
scene in the Grand Central railroad
station when Eugene " Debs. socialist
candidate for president, arrived here
on his famous ''red special" A crowd
of 1000 had congregated, and in the
stampede the police lines were swept
away and men and women were in.
jured.
Debs tried to wave the crowd back
and was taken off the other side of
the train. Although he had intended to
go to hotel across the street from
the depot, he found it necessary to &c
in the opposite direction to escape be-
| ing mobbed.
| During the day Debs made two
speeches, one at the Hippodrome and
the other at the American theater. An
admission fee was charged, but despite
| this he had large audiences.
The Hippodrome meeting was the ma
tional ratification meeting. He was
cheered for Is minutes and red flags
were waved.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-10-05
WAR CLOUD Is LOWERING
OVER TURKEY AT BULGARIA

and Mrs. H. w. Tenbroek. With the
exception of slight bruises sustained
by Mrs. Middleton, the remainder of
the party escaped injury. The car was
running about IA miles an hour when
| it lurched toward one side of the road.
Brink brought the steering wheel
around sharply. The sudden swerve
unbalanced the machine and it turned
over.
Brink was pinned to the ground, the
steering wheel striking against his
breast, crushing him. He died within
five minutes after the accident. He
leaves beside his wife a son, Howard
II years old.
Car Falls 2J Feet.
Ashland, Pa, Oct. 5.-A touring car
| in which five persons were returning
from church services plunged over a
25-foot embankment ON the outskirts
of Gordon, two miles south of this
place, and landed on the tracks of the
Philadelphia & Reading railroad. Two
of the occupants were instantly killed
and the other three were injured, two
of them so badly that it is thought they
will die. All are residents of Ashland
| The dead: Mrs. Peter Young, aged
3S, whose husband was running the
machine. Helen Young, her daughter
aged II years.
The injured: Peter Young, 40 years
old, upper jaw broken, teeth knocked
out, and otherwise injured; expected
to recover. Peter Young, Jr., aged
iyears; right leg fractured at the thigh
and severe internal injuries; recovery
doubtful. Charles Clark. aged years
lskull fractured and abdominal injuries
not expected to recover.
Killed Racing His Car.
New York, Oct. 5.-Charles Weis
becker, wealthy wholesale butcher o.
Harlem, was killed and his wife per
Ihaps fatally hurt in an automobile ac
lcident at Edgewater n. J. Two friends
|of Weisbecker. Louis Ungrich and wife
were hurt. 1t is thought that Mrs
lUngrich may die. The driver of th'
machine, named Felix, also was injur
led, but is expected to recover.
Weisbecker was trying out a ney
touring car and was racing with al
| other machine when his auto left tn
road and hit a telegraph pole.