davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
cuIIman Hiah School.

T see that the state high school locat- ing board has been asked to allow the people of Cullman county to decide in an election as to whether the county school shall be located at Cullman or Hance- ville,' said George Stieflmyer of that city last night
 "Cullman and Hanceville are both mah- ing strong fights for the location. and either place would make good location, but, of course being a Cullman man, I am interested in that place.
 "Cullman Is more centrally located, and we argue that it is more accessible from all parts of the county.
 'All roads lead to Cullman, the county seat, and then aside from all these argu- ments, Cullman has a wide reputation for health, beauty and water. and the people believe that this is the best place for the school.
 'Hanceville, however, is making a good showing as Is evidenced by the close argu- ment before the board and it's difficulty in coming to a decision in the matter.
 If the question is left to a vote of the people, Cullman feels very confident of winning the prize''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
Bricks for the University

The building committee of the trust ees of the university met on Tuesday at the office of the governor. Governor Conner was present and acting in his official capacity.
 This committee decided to ignore all Alabama bricks and to accept and pay freight On bricks made in St. Louis, Mo, for use in the two buildings now in course of erection on the university grounds at Tuscaloosa. There were other bidders, presumably some of them natives of this state, but all Ala hama bricks were rejected to make room for Missouri brick.
 Until the choice of St. Louis brick is explained The Age-Herald will be excused if it ventures the opinion that good, sound, presentable brick are made in Alabama as we'll as in Mis- souri The mules of Missouri are con fessedly superior, but no one outside of the building committee of the uni versity knows any reason why Ala bama money should be sent away to buy Missouri bricks.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
DISEASES BARRIERS TO WORK.

From the Philadelphia Press
 Slack work and inefficient industry come in more cases from chronic disease than most realize. Incipient consumption keeps many from full work. There are in this city at least 10000 adults doing part work because of tuberculosis. Tax ing the various chronic and preventable diseases and there are some 50000 adults in city of the size of Philadelphia whose work is poor from lack of h edith.
 This is profitable neither to employed, employer nor the community. When tue sleeping sickness has left Africa, malarial fever wiped out by destroying mosquitoes in the tropics, sprue and other like ln- testinal maladies in east tropical asia. the hookworm in the south and elsewhere and consumption over all zones, temper ate and torrid, the industrial efficiency of man will be increased over the world on a scale which will advance both. omfort and wages, the standard of life and the return of capital
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
FLEA SHOW PANIC.
"Professor" Kicked Over Lamp and
 "Actors" Had Narrow Escape.
m the Cincinnati Inquirer.

From the Cincinnati Inquirer.
 Patrons of Chester park who witnessed the performance of Professor Brauns 5 trained feas last night were also spec tators of flea fire drill and a flea con- fagration, when Braun accidentally kicked over a coal oil lamp under the table upon which the intellectual insects were being exhibited.
 The accident occurred in the midst of the flea circus. An aerobatic flea was doing the giant swing on a miniature hor- were playing leapfrog in corner and other varieties of feas were doing their various stunts according to programme. when suddenly smoke from the over turned lamp began to percolate the atmos- phere and fleas of all colors and sizes started to flee in all directions. Braun, however, who guides the actions of his little pets by means of little gold wires attached to their necks, give the half dozen lines in his hand a twitch worthy of a Ben Hur, and the fieas with very order ly precision marched to the box where they are confined during their idle mo- ments.
 Then the park fire department appeared on the scene and managed to save a DOT tion of Professor Brauns paraphernalia. Braun, however, was badly burned about the hands and arms in trying to save his insects. He stated last night that he did not mind being burned himself or even losing some of the properties of his act. He can get we'll he says, and can also get new stage setting, but it would be a hard matter to train a new set of feas.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
One touch of nature makes the whole world kin.
 -Troilus and Cresslda
Clean the BaGkyardS

It is but fair to say that the trash laden backwards harbor more disease germs than all else in a city. The back yard. in which grass is rarely or never cut. to the surface of which a rake is rarely applied, and into which all rub bish is pitched, is the source from which bad smells, insects and disease germs come.
 This backyard question goes to the root of good citizenship, for no man who offends and injures neighbors as well as himself by maintaining a clut- tered, unwholesome backyard is a good citizen. The issue is one of civic gov ernment, and neglected backwards and good government are inconsistent.
 The back fence may hide some of the offensiveness of the backyard, but it cannot suppress its smells or its in sects or it's disease germs. When the city stands ready to remove all trash and all filth there is no reason in the world why any backyard should be offensive. Clean out the backyard, then, and get it's trash in condition to be removed by the city's garbage wagons. This should be done before the heats of the summer are upon us It should be done at once.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
Criticism of the new York Exchange

'There is an exchange election, says the New York Commercial, next month. There are among the 450 mem- bers of the exchange many men of splendid business standing and un- doubted integrity; and it is to be expected that there will be officers elected who will never be suspected of being controlled by any scheming clique and that a revision committee appointed that will be true to the in- terests of the trade and of the ex- change. If there has been such a can cer in the New York cotton exchange as suggested by the report of the con- missioner, he has certainly done the exchange and the whole cotton world great service by pointing it out; for, if it is there, now undoubtedly is the time when the knife must be used"
 The Commercial reviews at length the report of Commissioner Herbert Knox Smith without dissenting from any part of it, and really with approval of it as an official discussion of what it calls "the cotton-exchange cancer" No paper has thus far assailed the re- port, and the impression prevails that the New York cotton exchange will be compelled to reform it's methods in determining grade differences. The United States government cannot be lightly brushed aside as other critics and investigators have been
 A radical change will be opposed, because such change would no longer operate to depress the price, first of contracts, and then of spot cotton, but a radical change seems inevitable, even if the spinners are deprived of unfair advantages and the producers get at the hands of New York justice, tardy though it be.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07

casons to lead the party to success and l doubt very much if MT. Bryan is as strong now as heretofore
 jThe people are looking for conserva- tive man. and it would seem that MT. Bryan is not able to command the sup port of large part of the business men throughout the country. The people are tired of continual warfare upon vested rights; they are beginning to feel the evil effects of the agitation that is so common now among politicians. The masses ot the people are suffering from the evil effects which have been brought about by designing men who have had their own political advancement at heart rather than the betterment of the general con- ditions of the masses of the people I am for any democrat who can win, and be- lieve that Governor Johnson could bring to his support elements throughout the country that MT. Bryan can not"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
Music Festival Next Week.

"The music festival which will be given, here next week in connection with Innes' celebrated orchestral band will afford great pelasure to music lovers" said a well known amateur. q have looked over the programme, and it is safe to say that each concert-there are to be five per formances-will prove popular.
 ''The programme for the opening night starts off with Liszt's Les Preludes' symphonic poem-and a novelty on that night will be Innes' musical joke--'The Merry Widow Waltz played seven times first as Lehar wrote it; then as Haydn might have written it,-as Mozart might have treated it. as Mendelssohn might have written it. as Verdi might have handled it. as a ragtime writer might have trotted it, and, finally, with apolo- gies to Richard Wagner.
 "A work of decided musical interest which will be heard the first night is stanfords Irish Rhapsody No 1. Stanford is an English composer now living. He ranks with the foremost masters of this or any time, but Innes is the first con- ductor to give Birmingham an oppor- tunity of hearing one of this composer s works in large form. At each of the Innes concerts distinguished vocal artists will sing, and the Birmingham chorus trained by Memoli will also take part
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
ELEVEN ORIGINAL JOKES

ding: My throw is not lost, however < But what do you not find in Plutarch? The Rev. B. S. Lombard of London, who stated recently that garrulity is the cause of many nervous diseases and the increas- ing amount of insanity, might well con suit Plutarch on effectiveness: "The tau tologizng babbler,'' says Plutarch, lis everywhere drunk: in the market place, at the theatre, in the public porticos or deambulatories, as well by night as by day."
 The favorite jokes in this country have been for years based on the mother-n- law, the farmer and the summer boarder, the city boarding house, spring cleaning (and the stovepipe played an important part, the greedy goat. The mother-n- law was naturally the victim of the first jocose son-in-law while there could be no joke about a stovepipe before the exis- tence of the pipe. There is the cannibal- missionary joke that has done yeoman's service, but it cannot be older than the appearance of the first missionary. What are the primeval Il jofikes? One of the oldest known to us begins: "Old Noah, he had three sons, Shem, Ham and Japheth,' but there must have been jokes before the flood. What were the Il that were preserved in the ark? No doubt the gag about the elephant bringing his trunk was coined by some irreverent looker-on who saw in the embarkation only food for mirth. Death by drowning was too good for him. But what jokes did Noah and his sons take with them for daily recre- ation? We can be sure of only one-the mother-in-law jest. Will not Miss Rep plier tell to the world the other ten?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
CHINESE MORALITY AT FRISCO.

From the Portland Telegram.
 Chinese merchants, doing businesss III the new Chinese district at San Francisco, have entered a protest against that sec- tion of the city being converted by the white people into tenderloin neighbor- hood. The protest is signed by consid- erabe number of influential Chinese, and, as it appears, a number of delegations have waited on Mayor Taylor and have argued with persuasive force that they are entitled to the same protection which white citizens would receive under sim liar circumstances. Mayor Taylor con cedes the justice of the complaint, and is inclined to take whatever steps are pos sible to remedy the evil of which these respectable Celestials complain.
 This is rather a new role for wealthy Chinaman of San Francisco or anywhere else in this country. It was abundantly apparent that the Chinese section of old San Francisco was the natural congre- gating place for vice of all forms. Its very proximity it's almost outward pres ence in the Chinese business houses, with an exception here and there and its far Ing pdTdQe uuuel tlt duoplCcS oi liic WAitS man, were accepted as essential to the proper Oriental flavor Chinatown was the most vicious center in the city. It is not surprising that vicious white people presumed that its reputation should be maintained.
 But this protest would seem to leave no doubt as to the spirit of reform, touching the decent conduct of affairs. that has taken hold of the Chinese mind The bet ter class of Chinese desire to live in a different atmosphere than formerly pre- vailed. There is desire for decency, ac- cording to the American standard. That desire should be gratified; though, In the act, it is necessary to admit that the Heather Chinese is granted protection against the vice of his nomnally- Chris tian white brother.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Activity of Eair,,ia..,


 NO section of the district is enjoying greater building activity than that com munity lying along the South Ensley ear line from Rising station to Palmer Ter race said citizen of that community last night.
 One can detect no evidence of money depression here. It is no exaggeratlon to say that D handsome residences and med ium sized cottages have been erected in . this territory during the past winter
 There are a number under construction at the present time. Being midway be- tween Birmingham and Ensley, this loca- ton Is very desirable for homes for peo- pie employed at either place. and with the advent of nearly every public con venience secured in the city the location is growing in popularity.
 "A majority of the people in this sec uon own their homes, and therefore the community is distinctly respectable, the citizenship being permanent"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
Handsome New Private Ambulance.

The Green Undertaking company has just received its new private ambulance. The new vehicle is possibly the hand somest in Birmingham and is thoroughly up-to-date in every particular. It is of steel gray color, and is equipped with ball bearing wheels, pneumatic cushions and is sanitary in every respect. AT metal trimmings are washed in gold. The am- bulance is spacious and the interior is plainly but handsomely finished There Is no upholstering, thus adding to the sani- tary feature, and more room is utilized inside for seats for attendants and for necessary racks. The handsome new ve- hicle has been put together and is ready for service
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
Mr. Taft and the Field

Out of the 9S0 delegates that will go to Chicago 726 had been chosen at the close of last week, and Taft had about 45 per cent of them, according to the New York Tribune and otker papers that have at least friendly feeling for the War Secretary. The Tribune thinks he will enter the convention with 520 delegates pledged to him.
 So he may, but at heart a good share of the 520 would prefer the nomination of Theodore Roosevelt. Down deep in the republican heart there is feeling that no one else can defeat William Jennings Bryan at the polls. Every canvass of popular sentiment in the republican party tells a similar story. The Chicago Tribune sought early in the year the opinions of persons prom inent in the republican party, and Success" appealed to its readers re- gardless of party lines or prominence. All tell a common story. MT. Roose- welt is plainly the most popular repub- lican. It is as freely asserted that he can carry the state of New York as it Is freely asserted that Taft cannot
 The replies received by Success are worth printing and studying. They foot up as follows:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
CoNsIDERATE ELEVATOR MEN.
Iom the New York Times.

From the New York Times.
 An impatient tenant in a downtown building complained because the elevator ran so slowly.
 What makes you creep along at this rate?" he asked the operator. You can go fast enough when you want to. I've seen you do it.
 Not until the stout, important looking man in the corner had left the car two floors below did the operator answer.
 "When that old chap is in the car," he said then 'I run slowly on his account He is in mortal terror if the elevator more than crawls. If you had a job of this kind you would find several of those timid people in every large building Ele- vator men soon learn their peculiarities and for the sake of common humanity and maybe an occasional extra tip, they humor the weakness and slow up when those men are aboard"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07

These figures show that Theodore Roosevelt is the choice of one, and William Jennings Bryan the choice of the other party. It will be strange in- deed if public sentiment in either party has ceased to be operative. In about a month the delegates will meet at Chicago, and then we will know whether public sentiment is potent or powerless in the republican party.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
MARY A. CATALAN.
From the Mobile Herald.

From the Mobile Herald.
 In the beautiful Capitol park at Bir- mingham there has been unveiled mon ument to commemorate the life work of a faithful and devoted teacher. For over 25 years Miss Mary A. Cahalan toiled un- ceasingly and with rare success to equip 8 generation of men and women in that city for the orkstheir hands would find to do Her pupils gathered in large num- bers in Capitol park, each of them bear ing affectionate memories of the beloved teacher and superintendent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
Early Peaches at oakman.


 W. F. Propst of Oakman was in the city yesterday with the earliest peaches that have been seen in this market They were of the Snead variety
 'I have never known this peach or any other to ripen before May 2O,'' said MT. Propst, "and their earliness this year is not only a surprise to myself but my neighbors.
 T am experimenting with an orchard of various kinds of fruits on the noun tain near Oakman, and the results so far secured are very encouraging. I have between 25OO and So0O trees of apples, peaches and similar fruits. I also have some strawberries which are proving very successful.
 My Elberta peaches are very fine. The trees are full of fruit and the yield prom lses to be exceptionally good With the number of mines and other industrial plants distributed over this section of Walker county I have an exceptionallv me market close at hand for all the fruit and vegetables that I can produce. h. deed the demand is far greater than could ever supply and l am trying to interest others of my neighbors in fruit and vegetable culture.
 am on my way to Cullman county now and will spend few days studying the methods of the German gardeners and fruit growers. Cullman is making a great success in the industry withou+ nome market and I see no reason why greater success cannot be had in Wal ker county, where everything that can possibly be produced for years can be sold.
 am certain Walker county has as fine climate and soil as Cullman, and shall test the matter fnllv
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
BILLIARD CONTEST
 FINALLY ENDED

New York, May 6-The order of finish in the international amateur billiard cham pionship at 1S.2 balk line was decided to- night. Calvin Demarest of the Chicago Athletic club takes the title and trophy. The other players in order are:
 Luciene Rerolle of France, Charles Conkiin of Chicago Athletic cfus, Edward w. Gardner of Passaic. N. J., and J. F. Poggenburg of New York In the play or for second place, Rerolle tonight de- teated Conklin by a score of 400 to 341 lie played consistent game, finishing with an average of an even Is. His high run was 91.
 Gardner won fourth place in playing off the tie with Poggenburg.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
AIl-Dav SinuInu.

On Sunday next, commencing at s.3o in the morning, the Birmingham Singing society will hold sacred song service at New Hope Baptist church, four miles north of Thomas, on Cat mountain. The class will meet at 8 o'clock at Thomas station on the North Ensley car line, where free conveyance will be in waiting to carry the singers to the church. Prof. E. T. Galillee, J. T. Thompson, G. Harmes and some noted singers will attend this song service. The public is cordially in- Vited
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
AIabama,s Game Laws.

The gaine law is being well observed ' said Fish and Game Commissioner | Fl Wallace, Jr, yesterday "It is most era ltying to those of us who felt the need of protecting the game of Alabama to find lhat the law Is so generally approved. The strict enforcement of the law means great deal for this state. It appeals. of course, to the lover of true sport; and from a humane point of view, in pre- venting the slaughter of birds. the moral effect is wholesome and far-reaching, to say nothing of it's economic aspect"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
From the Boston Herald.

EIM Iss AGNES FEpPhihh, iec'us, 1T, I(p1 ing on "The Mission of Humor' at the Colony club, New York, said she had been informed that there were Il original jokes in the world. After she had said her allotted say, MT. Joseph H. Choate arose and, gallant as ever, re- marked that he has now sure there were P original jokes. Any man or woman who produces il original jokes in lecture is a world wonder. With all due respect to Miss Repplier, we are inclined to think that MT. Choate was too amiable and too receptive.
 What are these eleven original, funda- mental, basic jokes, not made for a parish or an occasion, necessarily human and universal? Look over the comic weeklies from the beginning of Punch, and you will find the same lines of humorous thought, endless repetitions of fool-born jest ponderous elaborations of trife, changes of an old idea to suit time and place. The old jest books-Joe Millers, and before his, Poggi's and Bacon s-show how our predecessors anticipated us. Plut- arch's Morals" is full of jests and Jocose anecdotes that are now fondly thought contemporantous. Turn 70 his .Apothegms or Remarkable Sayings of Kings and Great Commanders. and you find this quip; "A prating barber asked Archelaus now he would be trimmed. Archealous answered: 'In silence" Read ''rhe Banquet of the Seven Wise Men" Englished by Roger Davis A. M.., and there sage is thus reported "In this mistake, however, I'm much of the youths mind, who, throwing a stone at dog, hit his stepmother, ad-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
rom the New York Press.

From the New York Press.
 The best citizens are In the obituary notices.
 Some people are so restless they'll go to church for something to do.
 The reason so many men fall in love with a girl is her imagination.
 One of the best times a woman ever has is trying to make people believe she did at another she is telling them about.
 A useful thing to invent would be something that would make other inven- tions work the way you pay your money to have them.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
IN BLossoM-TIME.
By Reginald Wright Kaufman.
 X1ri 6 X,1.,i

By Reginald Wright Kaufman. uri-San-Yuri-San!
 Since the springtime first began Pouring down its warming gold Over blossoms manifold,
 I have dreamed of old Japan Once again-and Yuri-San. l have heard the high-shod feet Patter down the winding street; Seen the lacquered beauties dance, Weaving webs of old romance .(Shining webs alight with dew, Drawing all my heart to yoU; Fitting feet and flirting fan, Flashing eyes-and Yuri-San. Dreamed-and wakened far away In a garish Western day, Where the only breath of air Swoons across city square; Where the mill of traffic runs, Roaring on between the suns, Grinding life and love forespent In a weary Occident
 Happier you In old Japan, Dead and dreaming. Yuri-San.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-07
New Bjshop In WashinutOn.

Washington. May e.-Right Rev. Charles Henry Brent, bishop of the Philippine Islands. was elected bishop of the Episcopal diocese of Washing ton in succession to the late Right Rev. Henry Yates Satterlee at today's ses- sion of the 18th annual conference of the diocese.