davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-03

II YOU want TO go east. C. Haydcck.
Agent Illinois Central r R., LIS w, eth.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-03

m,Irc rrraf mae nnnnIIcrn 1rnnAI rr1IIr
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
Writinq to Himself.

"Some men on the road write let
tiers to themselves before they get
to the next hotel, so they will ap-
pear important when they register
and ask for their mall" said hotel
clerk. 9But that isn't always the
reason. We soon catch on to them,
because we see their handwriting on
the register and on their mail, and
I noticed it once in a man whom |
finally got to know very well.
"He wasn't the kind of fellow
who cared anything about appear.
ing important 1 found out, so |
asked him why he did it. The ex.
PLANTATION was very simple. He had
a miserable memory, and when he
was in another town and would
think of something he had to do in
Columbus he would write it on a
slip of paper and mail it to himself,
He didn't put the memorandum in
his pocket for fear he would forget
about putting it there" columbus
Disnatch
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
LANE EVERY MORNING
A Bad Back is Always Worse in
the Morning. Lexington Peo-
pie are Finding Relief.

A back that aches all day and causes
discomfort at night isusnally worse in
the morning, Makes you feel as If you
hadn't slept at all.
Can't cure q bad back until you cure
the kidneys. Doan's Kidney Pills cure
sick kidneys-make you feel better.
work better, rest better and sleep bet
ter
Permanent cures in Lexington prove
The merit of Doan 8.
A. B. Beckwith, living on Main St.,
Lexington Va. says: For over two
years | was subject TO attacks OF back
ache and while these spells lasted, the
aching was so intense that | was un-
able to remain in one position any
length OF time. II made sudden
movement, sharp pains would dart
through my loins and in the morning
when arose l was often so lame and
stiff that it was some time before |
was able to get around. | procured
Doan's Kidney Pills at GorrelD's drug
store, and a few doses banished the
trouble. / can recommend them as
the best kidney remedy l ever used.
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo,
New York. sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-D0an's-and
take no other
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
Maxine IL Worth While.

There was a man who dropped a
penny down a crack in a board walk.
With a wire and a stick he tried to
recover the penny for long time.
Then, shaking his head sadly, he
went home. But the next morning
he returned early to the spot, and
he was bending over the crack with
a quarter in his hand when friend
happened along and said:
"Hello, Joe! What are you doing
there?"
"Well, I'll tell you," said the
other. yesterday 1 dropped a
penny down this crack. Now, rea-
soned that it wasn't worth while to
pull up four or five boards to find
a penny, but last night in bed an
idea struck me, and Pm going to
drop a quarter down to make it
worth my while"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
A Poor Time For Risks.

There was sudden change in the
wind, and The pastor of the Mount
Zion chapel saw that some of his
parishioners drew their wraps about
their shoulders. He paused in his
sermon
"Brudder Wilding," he said, rails
ing his voice and waking the old
sexton from peaceful slumberS in
the rear pew-"Brudder Wilding,
be kind enough to close all de win
ders on de cas- side OBJ de church.
De wind has come round, an we
cyan't afford to lose a single lamb
firm dis fold by carelessness wild
an outstandin' debt on dis chapel
an two families moved cat OBJ
town"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
Sens In Verse
PUT UP THE SWORD.

II HAVE sung of the soldiers glory
AS / never shall sing again;
have gazed on the shambles CORY,
II have smelled OF the slaughter pen
There Is blood In the ink well clotted,
There are stains on the laurel leaf.
And the pages of fame are blotted
With the tears of needless grief.
The bird In slaughtered for fashion,
And the beast Is killed for sport,
And never the word compassion
Is whispered at Molochs court.
For the parent seal in the water
Is slain and her child must die
That some sister or wife or daughter
Her beauty may beantify.
And the merciful thought we smother,
For such is the way of man,
AS we murder the useless mother
For the unborn astrakhan,"
But a season OF rest comes never
For the rarest sport of all.
VIII his patience endure forever
Who noteth the sparrow's fall?
When the volleys Of he'll are sweeping
The sea and the battle plain,
Do you think that our God Is sleeping
And never to wake again?
When hunger and ravenous fever
Are Staying the wasted frame.
Shall we worship the red deceiver,
The devil that men call fame?
We may swing the censor to cover
The odor Of blood. in vain.
God asks US, over and over.
where is thy brother Cain?"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
The Satisfaction.

81 sent you an account of IS for
collection" said man, coming into
the Office of a lawyer.
eyes, you did"
"What success have you had"
Issued him last week and got it."
"That's good. Give me the mon
ely, and kll me the amount of your
fees and l will pay you"
"My fees are 910. l have given
you credit for the 95 collected. Pay
me another G5, and we'll be square"
"What?" gasped the man. q
don't see where l make anything by
collecting the debt"
Nothing, my dear sir, from a
money point of view, but you have
the satisfaction of knowing that a
dishonest man has been brought to
justice. London Express.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
HIS FIRST GUARD DUTY.
A Boy Ensign Who Made His Own
General . Prisoner.

General q Prisoner.
Incidents in real life do not al
ways work out after the manner Of
the story book. The tale Of the
sentry who challenges his OWL
superior officer is common. The
sequel is invariably "Noble boyp
from the commander and a pleas.
ing sensation of conscious virtue on
the part of the sentry. An occur
renee told by Robert Blakeley in
GA Boy In the Peninsular War;
does not work out in just the APP
proved fashion. The incident took
place in 1906 while the regiment
was in camp.
The first time I was on guard
rounds duty the adjutant unfortu-
nately neglected to send me the pa
role and countersign until a late
hour. The general noticed my hes
itating challenge for the password,
of which 1 was in total ignorance.
He rode up and reprimanded me,
demanding the countersign and ac-
cusing me of not knowing it,
At that moment, as the general
turned his head away to observe
something, the sergeant of the
guard, having just received the be-
lated countersign, stepped forward,
whispered it in my ear and gave me
the paper on which the word was
written.
When the general turned again
to me he once more publicly ac-
cused me of not knowing the pass
word.
l replied that I did know it.
"What is it?" demanded the gen.
eral.
81 am placed here to receive, not
to give, the countersign," I coolly
answered.
The general was amazed.
every well. l will see about this
in the morning" he said.
Guard being a new duty to me,
/ was pretty nervous. The general
turned around to ride off. | told
him my orders were to allow no one
to pass without the countersign. A
litter was heard from the men.
"Won't you allow me to pass"
said the general.
l made no reply, but stood look
ing respectfully at him. After
pause he gave the countersign and,
receiving his parole, rode away.
The next morning was sent for,
and the general complained of me
before the officers. He asked that
I be rep-imanded. One officer
broke out into laugh.
"Well," he said, che has beer
only one year in the service. 7
have been many, but this is the
first time l ever heard of a boy en-
sign taking his own general pris-
oner."
I got off with very slight CEN
GIRO
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

It's a pity when sick ones drug the
stomach or stimulate the Heart and
Kidneys. That is all wrong A weak
Stomach means weak Stomach nerves,
always. And this is also true OF the
Heart ard Kidneys. The weak nerves
are instead crying out for help. This ex-
plains why DR.. Shops Restorative is
promptly helping Stomach. Heart and
Kidney ailments. The Restorative
reaches out for the actual cause of these
ailments the failing INSIDE nerves..
Anyway test the Restorative AZ hours.
1t won't cure so soon as that, but you
will surely know that help is coming.
Sold byGOrrells Drug Store.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

Tommy's maiden aunt had called
attention to some of that young
mans misdemeanors, thereby caus-
ing him to be punished. Tommy
pondered awhile, then asked, "Papa,
will little sister Gladys be an aunt
to my children when l am man."
eyes, Tommy" answered his IA
ther, much interested. "Why do
you ask ~
"Cause she might just as well
get married and have a home of
her own, for l don't intend to low
any aunts to stay around my house,
making trouble for my children. -
Woman'S Home Companion.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
Got the First Blow.

An Irish horse owner whose
horse had been prescribed for by a
veterinary surgeon ran into the lat
ter's Office and, with tears in his
eyes and his face the "picthur Of
bad luck" cried:
ooh, DR.. Moriarity, Pm poorly!
The powdher's kilt me entoirelyP
"The powderp cried DR.. Mortar
ty. "Why, l didn't tell you to take
the powder. / told you to place it
in a paper tube and put one end Of
!! :" the horses mouth and blow
hard"
dyes, sorr," said Pat. 81 put the
po.rdher in the chube, and / put
TIE end of it in the horses mouth,
with the other end in my own; but,
begorra, he blew frstp
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
Advance knowledge.

The disadvantage of too much
knowledge in advance in his audi
tors was experienced by that uni
versity preacher of whom all have
read. Knowing the lesson which
he would read, irreverent under
graduates pasted together the pages
of the Bible which he would open.
The result was that he read aloud,
"When Noah was an hundred and
twenty years old he took unto him a
wife who was"-and here he turned
over.-"one hundred and forty Gu
bits long, forty cubits wide, but Of
gopher wood and covered with pitch
inside and out" Naturally the dear
old gentleman was puzzled. "This
is the first time / have noticed this
in the Bible, but l accept it as an
evidence that we are fearfully and
wonderfully made" was his mild
comment.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
Mary and the Kitten.

Little Mary was playing with heI
pet kitten. The kitten scratched
her, and she exclaimed, "You is a
darned old kitty
Her mother told her she must
never utter such naughty word
again and to be sure to impress ii
on her mind washed her mouth out
with soap and water.
The next day Mary was again
playing with the kitten, and again
trouble arose, when she was heard
to remark:
''You is just the same kind of q
kitten you was yesterday
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
The Louisiana Purchase.

The price paid for the province
of Louisiana was 60,000,0O0 francs
($12,OOO,OOO), or sO,OOO,OOO ($16,-
000,OOO) including the payment OF
the spoliation claims. Napoleon's
reasons for selling Louisiana were,
first, his need of money; second, the
fear that it might fall into the
hands of England; third, the con-
viction that, with or without an al
lance with England, the Americans
were sure sooner or later to be-
come masters Of the territory
New York american.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
ACCEPTED HIS ADVICE.
Then the Tailor Was Sorry He Tao
killed. the Lawyer.

The young lawyer had waited
many days for clients, and still
they did not come. His bills were
mounting higher and higher, and,
sad to say, some Of his creditors
were becoming impatient. At this
very minute his tailor, whom he
owed for his last winters overcoat,
was sitting beside his desk uttering
all sorts Of dire threats.
1'll pay you when / can" he
said.
swell, that doesn't satisfy me"
retorted the tailor. "What would
happen, do you think, if / were to
take this matter to the courts and
sue you?"
"You'd get judgment, of course"
said the young lawyer.
''Then, in your opinion, you
haven't leg to stand on" insisted
the tailor.
'Not leg" returned the brief
less youth.
every well, then, I shall proceed
at once" said the tailor, rising.
81 certainly advise you to-" said
the lawyer, with a CLEAN in his eye.
81 shall most certainly accept
your advice" retorted the tailor
sarcastically.
"Good" said the lawyer. "What
is the amount of your bill~
"Sixty-eight dollars and fifty
cents" said the tailor.
~All right" said the lawyer.
Gland over six fit? please."
"Six fftyw said the tailor.
"What for?"
"You have just consulted me in
the matter of a suit at law and
have stated that you accept my ad-
vice. Ny charge for that is $75,
and the six fifty Is the difference
between your bill and mine," said
the lawyer. '1f ] don't hear from
you by noon tomorrow shall put
the matter in the hands of my at
torneys. Good morning, sir"
And the tailor went out, mar
Yelling much that so ingenious
young gentleman should be a men,
Der Of the great army of the unem-
ployed.-Harper's Weekly.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
SPURIOUS COIN A LURE.
Psychology Of Counterfeitine a Puzzle
to the Authorities.

'Like the fly which lights on pa
per carefully smeared with molasses
for his benefit, the man who lets
his thoughts dwell upon queer
money is caught hard and fast I'M
less he gets the idea out of his
head as soon as it enters" said
secret service official. ut is fun
ny, though, how the game attracts
man who is otherwise honest. The
man who is attracted at first by the
prospect of making money in this
way argues that he is doing no
wrong.
"He simply says to himself that
he will make a few thousand dol
lars Of spurious money and then
shove it out in a safe way. He ar
CUES with himself that the money
will be accepted by every one and
that it really is the same as the
money stamped as legal tender by
the government and only the gov
eminent will lose.
"He begins to read about coun-
terfeiting, and the more he reads
the easier the thing seems. Ten
to one he has taste for mechan-
les, and any man with a simple
knowledge Of metals, if he has the
proper dies, can turn out a pretty
fair representation Of a dollar or
other silver coin.
"Most of the old time counter
feiters have gone out of business
or are serving terms in peniten-
tiaries, and many of the spurious
coins made at the present time
are manufactured by men who are
respected in the communities in
which they live.
"Counterfeiting bank notes is.
more difficult than making spurious
coins, but after a man has been
successful with silver pieces he
takes up the other and, with study
and perseverance, can turn out a
few bills. However, these makers
of bad money never last long.
They are run to earth sooner or
later. Then comes their realiza-
ton of the crime they have been
involved in. The government is a
relentless enemy, and the punish
ment for making spurious money is
severe, but the wrongdoers never
realize this until they are fairly
caught.
every man believes in his own
heart that he is sharper and
shrewder than his neighbor. When
he reads stories of counterfeiters
who fourished years ago he sees
what blunders they made and how
they came to be caught.
az can do better than that fell
low did, and those dub detectives
could never have caught me in the
trap they laid for him. is the way
the amateur counterfeiter muses..
He figures it all out to his own sat-
but he fails to give the
men in Uncle Sans service credit
for any brains or originality Of
thought. He thinks that they
work the same way on every case
and that all he has to do is to OBJ
serve the pitfalls that the other
men fell into and be careful not to
walk into them himself.
'"This point settled, the deluded |
victim of the get-rich-quick craze
has only a few more steps to take.
The first thing that he does gen.
orally is to manufacture some
homemade dies of plaster of paris.
They are crude molds Of silver
pieces, and so our deluded friend |
experiments a little by pouring
pure lead into these casts, and, to
his surprise and delight, he turns
out a few pieces of metal which
bear a resemblance to money!
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

Tickling or dry Coughs will quickly
loosen when using DR.. Shops Cough
Remedy. And it is so thoroughly hahn
less, that DR., Shoop tells mothers to
use nothing else, even for very young
babies. The wholesome green leaves
and tender stems OF lung healing
mountainous shrub give the curative
properties to DR., Shops Cough Rem
edy. 1t Gains the cough, heals the SEN
sitive bronchial membranes. No OPT
um, no ehloroform, nothing harsh used
to injure OF suppress. Demand DR..
Shoop's. Accept 10 ether. Sold by Cor
rolls Drug Store.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
Cures Blood and Skin Diseases
Eczema, Greatest Blood Puri-
fier Free

II your blood Is impure, thin. diseased,
hot or full Of hunors. II you have blood
poison. cancer. carbunkles. eating
sores. scrofula. eezeme, Itching, rising
and bumps, dwellings OF superating
sores, scabby, pimply skin, ulcers bone
peins. catarrh, rheumatism, or any
blood or skin disease. take Botanic
Blood Balm (B. B. b. Soon all sores
heal, aches al d pains stop and the
Blood is made pure and rich, Drug
gists or by express 81 pei large bottle.
Sample free oy writing Blood Balm Co.,
atlanta, Ga, b. b. b. is especially ad-
yised for chronic, deep seated cases OF
blood or skin diseases. as it cures after
all else fails. Nov. 20 07-1-yr
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

A clever, popular Candy Cold Cure
Tablet-called Preventics Is being dis
pensed by druggist everywhere. In a
few hours, Preventics are said to break
any cold completely. and Preventics'
being so safe and toothsom are very
fine for children. No Qulnue, no laxa-
tive. nothing harsh nor sIckening. Box
of AZ Zoe. sold by GorrelPs Drug Store.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

The japanese army had till recently
only one artillery range, that situated
at the foot Of the Fujiyama Mountain,
but, in consequence OF the improve
ments in weapons and the increased
strength of the army, five new camps
have been established in various pai Is
Of the empire.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

A pleasing, good, high grade, truly
favored, amber colored cup oil coffee
can be had-and without the real coffee
danger, or damage to health-by simp-
ly using DIR. Shops new substitute,
called Health Coffee, Pure. whole
some, toasted cereals, malt, nuts, etc.
make DR.. Shops Health Coffee both
heaIthful and satisfying. No 20 to 80
minutes tedious boiling. Made In a
minute. says DR.. Shoop. If served as
coffee, it's taste will even trick an ex'
pert. Test it and see. All Dealers.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

The decision has been reached by
the Tsinpu Railway to use only Man
churian wood for ties for the entire
route from Tientsin to the Yangtze.
This will do away with large contracts
for steel ties on which Germans are
said to have been figuring.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23
Soothing.

81 wouldn't fight, my good men,
said the peacemaker. -,
"But he called me a thief, SIR!
exclaimed one Of the combatants.
"And he called me lazy loaferP'
cried the other.
"Well," said the peacemaker Sc
renely, 81 wouldn't fight over a diff
ference of opinion. You both may
be right"
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

Pink Pain Tablets-Dr. Shocps-
stops Hea 1ache, womanly pains, any
pain, any where, in 20 minutes sure.
Formula on the 25c. box. Ask your
druggist or doctor about this formula
its fine. Gorrel's Drug Store.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

In spite OF che fact that the Univer-
sity of Moscow does not admit women
students, ii is to have the first woman
professor ever appolntet in Russia. DIR.
Dontchakova is the woman. She Is a
graduate OF Zurich, and is looked upon
as an authority in pathology.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

Can't look well, eat we'll or feel well
with impure blood feeding your body.
Keep the blood pure with Burdock
Blooo Bitters. Eat simply, take exer-
else. keep clean and you will have long
life.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

An air-gun OF large size, working on
the principle of the pneumatic ham
mer, hos been devised for killing animals
liz q humane manner.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

At the present moment the countries
of Europe are spending on their armies
and navles as much as $4,000, 900 a
day.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

There are nearly so clocks on the
giant ocean liner Lusitania, controlled
BIZ a master clock In the charthouse.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

More than 1900 English tradesnen
are this year entitled to the use of the
royal arms over their shop fronts.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

Watch babies bowels till the frosts
come, DR.. Fahrrey's Teething Syrup
keeps them in good sha,.r. >au he nee,
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

The River Polk flows into cave III
tire side of a mountain and completely
disappears, at Adelsberg, near Trieste.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

A Guaranteed Cure for Plies
Itching. Blind, Bleeding, ProtrudiDg
Piles. Druggists are authorized to re-
fund money II PAzO OINTMENT
tails 10 cure N 9 TO ID days. SOC.
Lexington gazette. [volume] (Lexington, Va.) 1871-1962, 1908-09-23

Leaves are falling. Babies don't fall
away while taking DR.. Fahrney's
Teething Syrup. 1t makes sap-blood.