davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
A BIT TOO SHREWD.
Ono Venture In Which the Captain
overreaehed Himself.

Ono Venture In Which the Captain
overreaehsd Himself.
One Of Uncle Sans customs officials
noted for his success In unmaskina
smugglers, said the other day in dis
cussion of customs officers duties:
"One must be shrewd, but not too
shrewd; otherwise one overreaches
oneself, like Captain Harrow Of Isles
borough.
Captain Harrow OF Islesborougt
was trading at Key West In small
vessel Business took him up the coast
to Tampa bay, and he bought twenty
dozen chickens from farmer at "a q
dozen.
.'The chickens were all sizes--some q
few days old and no bigger than ca
nary birds; some fat and large, like
turkey gobblers. The captain expect
ed to make lot of money out OF
them. He was very shrewd at trade
"Well, at Key West a hotel man
came aboard and looked the chickens
over.
"They are fine BIRDS he said. How
muchY
"If you pick them out yourself.
said Captain Harrow shrewdly, III
have to charge you SO a dozen. II
pick them out, can let you have then
for 49,
"All right. You pick them out said
the hotel man.
Captain Harrow picked out dozen
chickens of the canary bird size.
"Here you are, twelve prime broil
ers,' he said, with a leer.
"Go ahead said the hotel man calm
ly; another DOZEN
'The next dozen was Of necessity
larger.
"'Go on said the hotel man. 'KeeI
on picking them out
"And the third dozen was larger still
The captain looked at his patron anx
iously.
"'Keep right on
'The next dozen was fine and plump
and the next comprised the bigges
and fattest of the chickens.
"Keep right on picking them out
captain
"Then at last Captain Harrow saw
how he had overreached himself. Th'
hotel man bought his whole lot o
chickens at SO, and thus the captaii
lost on the speculation $40 in cash, t.
say nothing Of feed and labor.'--Cin
cinnati Enquirer.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
BETWEEN TWO THIEVES.

San Francisco has been crucitied
between two thieves, and in the very
midst of her own bitter realizations
she sees the two scoundrels parolled
and taken down from their crosses
for the moment, while she herself re-
mains suspended in the agony and
shame of her fearful sacrifice. Schmitz
and Ruef are rejoicing in the techni-
cal reprieve that has come to them
and are certainly going to make the
most of it in preparing for the
longer and harsher campaign oi
prosecution that will surely be in
augurated against them on the unused
indictments at hand.
The eventual success of these men
technical though it be, will be a direct
insult to the civilization of the day
and there is surely wit, wisdom and
wealth in the Pacific metropolis tc
carry the task OF reprisal to com
pletely successful issue. Else, we, oi
America, had better voluntarily yield
our ambition to typify the best oi
modernity in governmental and socia
science and take our place in the
ranks OF the boorish and helpless pro
1etariats of Europe. If San Fran
cisco and California, knowing what
they know, fail to pursue these mer
and their vile colleagues to the uttei
lines of all that is due them, that city
and state will be amenable to reproach
and confusion for all time to come
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
LOVELY WOMAN.

ghe rot into street car on
"A freezing winter day.
She left the front door open--oh,
What did the people say?
She bravely took hammer. ana
She tried to drive nail.
The catastrophe that followed
Made every one turn pale
Lovely woman.
She started to a party just
A half an hour late.
AT the door she asked her husband.
Have I got my hat on straightT
They got her In the courtroom, ana
They asked her, whats your ageT'
Saws she, "Pll own to twenty-five"
Now that was pretty sage.
Lovely woman!
She bought an automobile veiF
A hundred inches long.
She'll have an automobile when
They're selling for a song.
She worked and read and talked all day
AS every woman ought.
AT midnight when her husband came,
She told him what she Thought
Lovely woman!
She's not at all athletic, as
You've often heard her say,
But she'd jump on the plano II
A mouse should come her way.
Can she keep the men a-hustling2 You
Can simply bet your life!
Still we wouldn't do without her
As sister, sweetheart. wife.
Lovely womanl
--SomerviIie Journal.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13

BY way of extending its lines west
TO Smiths Point, east to Alderbrook,
and south over the hills, and opening
up territory that needs just some
such impetus to become valuable and
interesting as home centers and busi-
ness sites; as we'll as contributing its
direct service to the hundreds already
located on these outlying sections
and eager for the utility such exten-
sion would afford.
The company cannot plead that
there is no business in sight; else its
original policy in seeking and using
the franchise was but an unknown ven
ture, 1t has built its own business,
and good one, by drawing people
and homes along every foot OF its
lines east and west, and the proposed
extensions would serve the same pur-
pose, only in a larger degree. since
there is far wider area to build into,
on the three lines suggested and
more engaging sites than the original
district offered.
The demand for this increase OF
urban service is not extraordinary nor
irrational; many citizens feel that 1t
would be as profitable for the COM
pany as for those whom it would
serve, on the ground that every home
established on its route stands for a
perpetual patron Of its service, and
the service would urge the steady in
crease of the homes. Turn about is
fair play and the Astorians would
be glad to see these three lines start
ed in the interest Of local develop
ment and general advantage, believ-
ing the increment would fall as hand
somely to the enterprising company
as to the anxious citizens with homes
to build and already builded.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
To Tho People.

In submitting my name to the elee-
tors of the Fifth Judicial District for
their consideration for the Office OF
District Attorney Of said District. !
desire to say that II am nominated
and elected. ! viii, during my term
of Office, honestly, vigorously and
impartialy perform all the official
duties pertaining to said Office, with
out fear or favor. endeavoring always
to accord to every individual, ire
spective Of party. politics or person
alities. a square deal under the law.
keeping always uppermost in my mind
the interests OF the tax payers OF said
District and State.
e. B. TONGUE.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
For Diseases Of the Skin.

Nearly all diseases Of the skin such
as eczema, tetter, salt rheum and bar
bers' itch, are characterized by an in,
tense itching and smarting, which
often makes life a burden and dis
turbs sleep and rest Quick relief
may be had by applying Chamber.
lain's Salve. II allays the itching and
smarting almost instantly. Many
cases have been cured by its use. Fol
sale by Frank Hart and leading drug
q sts.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
"TuRN ABOUT is FAIR PLAY

The people of Astoria have been
generous to the Astoria Electric Co.
in the matter of franchises, privileges
and opportunities for the realization
of those profits the company was en-
titled to in the course Of its own adj
ministration, and advancement gener-
ally, and there are those, in ample
numbers, and of influence, who think
it about time the company was do
ing something tangible for the city,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
DOING THINGS RIGHTLY.

When civic institution, sucn as
town, city. county, state or nation,
conceives the idea OF doing some
piece of work that shall be an inno-
walton and an improvement. and is
meant to typify perpetual purpose
and become a fixed attribute OF the
public service, the first rule OF COM
nonsense would inspire the right do
ing OF it, the use of the best materials,
the employment of the best skill, upon
the most wholesome plans framed to
meet the larger expansion OF the
work with the normal increase of
population and the steady demand for
its extended application and opera
ton. In other words, wisdom die
tates the building for the future and
not merely for the present.
By way of illustration: An English
paper just at hand, contains the fol-
lowing:
'To provide for vessels of the
Lusitania class the Liverpool Dock
Board will construct a floating land
ing-stage nearly 1000 feet long, to lie
in 40 feet of water, while dredger is
to lift lO,100 tons of sand from the
bar in single hour"
This is the scale upon which prac-
teal people construct such CONNER
cial attributes; and there is a lesson
in it for Americans who are far too
easily satisfied with the meagre meet
ing of the demands of the hour. We
are inclined to cheaper our greater
expedients in such lines as this and
render them abortive after brief
season of use because of the expand
ed demand that cannot be met shorter
of reconstruction upon the huge
scale. This is costly policy, both
in time and money and the depriva-
ton incident upon the waiting for
the new instrument of service. Take
Our deep-sea dredgers, for instance.
There is not one of them that
amounts to "shucks" as an endurable,
adequate and lasting proposition;
they are of restricted capacity, lily
contrived, poorly builded, short of
power, with every limitation that
should have been guarded against;
and the people are UP against the
eternal proposition of building all
over again at vastly increased cost
those things that should have been
carefully and permanently constructed
in the first place.
Years ago, when William Reed was
secretary of the Portland Board OF
Trade he pleaded for such dredgers,
but he was laughed to scorn, and the
Columbia river service was equipped
with the two "bum" specimens now
supposed to do compensating work
on that great artery Of commerce; one
of them rotting at her moorings with
her boilers, less than five years old,
utterly useless from a dozen material
defects; the other, doing limited
service, of questionable value, afic
vaguest possible results. Yet hun
dreds of thousands Of dollars have
been spent to put these discreditabl'
things in commission, and upon which
they have not earned the paltries
percentage of profitable incremen
since the days of their launching.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
Social Dance.

A social dance will be given Satur-
day, March 18th, at The Uppertown
National Hall, Franklin avenue, be-
tween 18th and 10Th streets. Music
by the Pacific orchestra. All cordial
Nv invited. 3-12-3t.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
Early Tendencies.

"Do you believe boys often turn out
as their youth promised"
"Well, they do sometimes. There's
Carver. He was the village cut-up
when he was boy. and now he's the
leading surgeon in a hospital. Chi
eago News.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
Before the People
Cards Of Candidates In the Coming
Campaign.
For Congress.
r. T, GEER

Candidate for Republican Congress
sional Nomination in the Second Dis
trict, Liberal Appropriations for
Waterways, Equal Opportunities and
Privileges for Labor and Capital. and
Governmental Control OF Corpora
tions.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
Millinery.

Mrs. R. Ingleton has just opened a
nice line of ladies' Eastern bonnets,
and Saturday night will give a sale
beginning at 5 o'clock Mrs. F.
Ingleton, WEIGH block, opp. Budget
Office.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
THE WEATHER

Western Oregon and Washington
Rain.
Eastern Oregon, Eastern Washing
ton, Idaho-Showers.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13

It is not only in politics, but In other
things, that many men think they are
too smart to be honest-St. Paul Dis
patch,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13
COFFEE

You can buy something
called "coffee" at 10c lb
with 5000 miles of R R
freight from the roaster;
don't.
Your grocer returns year money y zen doa's
Mks sehillIns's Best; We Hay HI.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13

Official paper of Clatsop County
and the City of Astoria.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13

TELEPHONE MAIN 66i.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13

Published Daily Except Monday by
THE ]. s. DELL1NoER co.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13

SUBSCRIPTION RATES.
By mail, per year. ........'..'~'v@o 20
By carrier, per month. h.......'.'' ~
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18
catches Eaale Wlth gare Hands.

Harley Grant Of Jopton, Ark. re-
Gently caught a golden eagle measur-
Ing seven feet four inches from tip to.
tip with his hands. He was driving
through the woods on wagon, and
the bird rose from the ground and few
TO a low dead limb Of a tree. The limb
broke, which unbalanced II, and It fell
to the ground again in thlcket Of
green briers and in making an effort
to get away got badly tangled IN the
7briers. Grant ran to 1t and held It
down until he got q good hold on It.
Then he picked 1t up and carried It
home Parson Jones owns the bird
now and has 1t In q cage and feeds It
on rabbits. 1t can skin a rabbit quick
er than a man. It will not eat chick
ems, either dead or alive. rs
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18
!. kRANzBURG KINKS

o. i.
Miss Title Ries spent few days
in Waterfowl last week visiting
friends. .. Z. "a
Albert Noes left Saturday last
for Columbia, SD, for an extend
ed visit with relatives.
Mr.lan Mrs. Henry Ham spent
Sunday at the Pete Lieben home.
Mr.. and Mrs. Jake Lieben who
for the past week have been visit
ing friends here returned to their
home at Melrose, Mimi, this week.
Correct styles in caps for men
The Model. ss5. i
Lorenz De Freeze has accepted a
position with N. F. Marx for the
ensuing year.
John Deniger and Anton Marx
made business trip to Watertown
Saturday. VI
Imported French kerchiefs fol
men, novelty patterns at Csc. The
Model.
A friend of mine says he never
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18
R II of the County.
~ a1'Y' OUR REGULAR starr CORRESPONDENTS.

IL
extracted SO much sweetness from
onespot as he did when he drew q
pretty girl weighing two hundred
and twenty five pounds, from a
bog hole in his fathers pasture,
where he was hunting with her for
birds eggs.
Miss Lena Kaiser spent Sunday
with Y " Nj. and Mrs. Pete Lindner at
Goo iwin.
Albert zaug from WATERFOWL
spent S unday at the, Noes home.
Young men in these parts are
now perpetrating a new dodge.
They fasten bristles on the tail Of
a rat and sell it for a pet squirrel.
People who are known or have
always been habitual drinkers
have nothing to say for their de.
Tense only habitual thirst. @
NEWSY Il
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18
PELICAN POINTERS &

Lonnie Briggs spent Monday
evening at Veeders.
X Mabel Ferris was home Sunday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Wolcott were seen
shaking hands with friends Satur-
day.
Ferd Ferris was in town Satur-
day on business.
The meeting at Watertown Sat-
urday afternoon was we'll attended.
Frank and George Lewis expect
to leave for Canada next week
where they will make their home.
/ Lell Johnson is back from Chica-
go where he has been for the past
two weeks.
Fur lined gloves and mittens at
the Model.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18
HIS LEG WAS NOT WOODEN.
But Young kansan Made His Best
Girl Think II Was. VA 8 y

Girl Think 1t Was. S 3i III
A Garden City (lSan1 young man has
earned the reputation Of being good
fellow by the part he took in playing
q practical Joke on his girl. but when
the girl finds out the joke she will like
" say he Is ajust horrid.' 5.5
The girls brother is always Joking.
and for some time he has been telling
her that the young man who calls at
the house several times In a week and
buys the candy, flowers, theater tickets,
etc, has a wooden leg. She paid no at
tention to the charge that the young
man was partly artificial until her
brother kept repeating the statement
and finally said he would prove It the
next time the young man called. Eli
just pass him and kick him on the
shin" he said, sand you'll find out that
Eve been telling the truth about him.
Then he saw the young man, who
promised to be game, and they went to
The office Of d friend Of theirs who Is n
doctor. The doctor put the lower part
OF the young mans leg In plaster
cast, and when he made his call the
brother carried out the programme as
outlined. When he kicked the young
man on the shin, accidentally, OF
course, 1t sounded for all the world like
he was kicking piece Of wood, and
the young lady was convinced. The
brother Is laughing about the Joke YET
and says the young man ID q good In.
dian. .ssi
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18
z k',..A q !. e, KICKS

Mrs. divers brother is visiting
her till after Ghristmas. .l37.
We are going to have a Christ
mas tree at the church and every,
body IS invited.
Mr.. and Mrs. Barney j jacobs went
to the meeting in Watertown SIM
day evening
Ms Ainsworth was out at
Falvey's giving music lessons Sat-
urday.
Monday was like a spring day, a
little rain and the snow went off
fast. N.Y.! This is fine weather
for the roads now days.
Bath robes-a very large selec-
ton at the Model. .3ss
Mrs. A. d. Ostrander has gone
to Lennon, SD. Mr.. Ostrander
came after his family and they left
Friday. Mr.. Ostrander has built
on his claim and likes it real we'll
out there. q
Mr.. and Mrs. C.M. Fisher at
tended the meeting in WATERFOWL
Friday night.
Happy go-L Lucky
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18

two negro girls, Ida w illiams and Ma
mic Emerson, one OF whom he accused
OF trying to rob him. The detectives
who arrestes him said they hear his 4
cry of#robbery and rushed to his aid
when Mr.. Mears suddenly attacked
them both, giving Hurztng q bloody
nose. Mr. Mears was arraigned on the
charge Of assaulting an officer, but
when he explained that he did not
know Hurting was q policeman the
magistrate said :: lsg
ii sThis man seems to be a pretty de-
cent sort Of fellow, his story is rea.B
sonabie, and think he ought to be
discharged. y ii
Hurting protested with a complaint
that Mears had acted In d vicious man
ner. The aglstrate turned again to-
| the prisoner. az & sg
What's your business Y he asked.
II am q clergy mar. y i3s N sT
/ What" gasped the court.
IT am d Clergyman. - Z.
s well, well said Ma gistrate Stein.
ert, regaining his comp osure hat
were you doing there r
! II was stunning to find out whbt3
could be- learned about the city z
! Veil said the magistrate, this
seems to be a reasonable story, and
4 we'll discharge him. 3sl:l t4a85 4
, The case was brought to the atten-
/ ton OF Bishop Greer. who held q secret
4 session with the young clerg and
then gave out the following statement:
4 Mr.. Mears explained to me; the cirsH
cumstances OF his tour through the
! Tenderloin, of his visit to the house
where he was trapped and Of his as
sault upon the detective who arrested
him can only add that the whole
matter viii be thoroughly gone into
and that I shall try to do what is Just
for both Mr.. NJ ears and the ministry
4 The Rev. DR.. j dge rector Of ST
4 Matthew s, at his home, 81 West
Eighty fourth street, denied d report
that be had suspended his assistant,
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18
Ria Roundup 81 cats.

Three fourths of the family of cats
in Delaware. O., were missing on q
recent morning as result Of bogus
poster got out by Ohio Wesleyan stu:
dents announcing that Professor 4. g.
Marshall of the college would pay 81
apiece for the first twenty-five cats
presented at his Office. Boys with
sacks filled with fighting, squirming
cats responded BY the Score, with
visions Of easy money, They were
doomed to disapp ointment and at noon
the missing cats were beginning to
find their way back home.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18
kRANzBuRG KLusTERs

Herman Lee Of Watertown made
the burg a business visit last week.
4 Dick Brown and family returned
last week from a months visit at
their old home in Iowa.
Henry McKool of Watertown was
in the village on business Saturday
last. ~ &. *, d . 3ssssatss
Miss Nora Murray, the popular
teacher of our public school, visit
ed Sunday at her home at Kampes-
ka. ;5
Tony Bauer was visiting in the
live city Saturday and Sunday last.
N. M. Kranz and wife returned
last Sunday from Hastings, MINI.
where they have been visiting the
past three weeks. -
ME-. Marx and John C. Deniger
attended the Mission at WATERFOWL
Saturday evening.
Frank Sears Of Watertown was
shaking hands with friends in
Kranzburg Monday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Anton Marx were
visitors to Watertown the first OF
the week.
Frank Ramel, Jr. left here Mon
day for an extended visit with hi:
sister at Pilot Point, Texas.
Good cape gloves for $1.50 ane
81. 90 at the Model.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18
1rtss.Llvr wIsKlsr 81 |TE livEclrY ssIss1ossss

Cutie d Few of the peopl i1
Pelican attended the meeting III
town Sunday.
Mrs. Russell and Mrs. Coll Inns
were seen in town Saturday. a
Lost nv Mrs. Roscol Col lins a
parcel Of dry goods between their
place and Waterto Saturday.
evening Finder please leave here
OF at Foley, elevator.
HAPPY JACK
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18
EDEN AND ELRoD ETHICS
HAPPY JACK

There was surprise party on Mi
and Mrs. Thee. Hubbard on FRI
day, Dec. u, lis being the anniver-
sary Of their marriage. All report
"a pleasant evening.
Ed Duryee formerly of Henry
but now Of Oregon was visitor id
these parts several days last week.
He departed Monday morning for
the west.
The piano contest which has.
caused all the excitement in the
past closed Saturday with Ruth
Fulton as winner. 1t has been the
custom to have someone hold you.
up and demand votes.
Holiday rnuffiers Of rich Ealla-
man silk for 81, any color at the.
Model. .33
What's the use Of going to Cali
fornia for a warmer climate. This
lis all right while it lasts.
Elrod township and surrounding
territory organized another wolf
hunt Friday There were all
kinds of men, dogs, guns and teams
but no wolves. They were in anoth-
Ter township that day.
Miss Florence Duryee and her
pupils will have a Christmas tree
lat program at the MEG auker school
house on the afternoon Of Dec. "a.
! Collar bags for Christmas gifts,
a splendid selection at the Model,
ST., $1.50 So.
Mrs. D. P. Cosgrove and friend,
Miss Deinie, were Garden City Wis
itors Sunday afternoon. -. - ! -,
Everyone was pleased to learn
4 that Rev. A. B. Keller has decided
4 to remain in Henry in preference
i to the Watertown charge which was
4 rendered him last week.
The ladies' of the M. e. church
1of Henry served dinner and supper
Ito the public and also held a sale
I of fancy articles Saturday at The
4 Lewis hotel for the benefit Of tbs
4 church.
Rev. "A. B. Keller was accom-
panied to Naples Sunday afternoon
4 by Mrs. Keller, also Mr.. AM
Mrs. Fred Rex and Mr.. 9. 3. Cos
grove
Miss Maybe Meinzer visited a
the home of Mrs. S. E. Gilman
Sunday afternoon.
Military and fur collared over
coats for men, or boys, at tn
Model.
Ray, the Is year old son Of Mr.
and Mrs. Web Smith, died at til,
home of his parents near Gardel
City Monday morning about
o. clock. Funeral services will b
held at the church in Garden Cit.
| land the remains will be taken bac
to the old home in Ill, for inter
4 ment. The family has the sympa
thy Of the entire community i
their sad bereavement.
Saturday news. (Watertown, S.D.) 19??-19??, 1908-12-18
Asked Doctor 70 Bring Conn.

when DR.. C.. /. Page Of Litchield,
Conn, answered o night call to the
telephone woman, after asking him to
come to his patient at once, added the
request that when he brought the death
certificate he should stop at the under.
takers, get coffin and bring It in his
sleigh. he declined 70 Act as under.
taker and physician.