davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the NeW 1OrK PreSS.
 A woman's idea of doing charity work is to get somebody else to give tn 6 money for 1t.
 It takes a magnifying glass to see a mans morals, and binders not to see a woman's.
 The difference between ignorance and innocence Is that the one Is genuine and the other is put on.
 A sure way to make you regret hav- ing to spend money on anything Is for it to be something useful.
 It's very annoying to girl to meet a man she likes when the color of the feathers on her hat doesn't harmonize with his cravat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
THE AVIATOR

From the Washington Star.
 Wilbur Wright's remarkable perform apces in France continue to establish successive records for height of ascent, distance and speed of flight and time of levitation. His machine is undoubtedly tEe best that has thus far been demon strated, whatever may have been accom- pIished by other inventors in secret. Up to this time, however, MT. Wright has unanswered his apparatus within the bounds of chosen field, starting and landing on prepared ground. Thus the supreme test of the aeroplane Is yet to be applied. the undertaking of a flight acroas country to fixed destination and
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
2eJ17ops-

world mean enough to hope he may break his neck the very next time he drops into poetry.
 It is announced that Tom Longboat is going to get married Does that mean he will become Tom Longface?
 Snoring is not menace" says news paper writer. It is to "poppy-lidded sleep"
 The Washington Post advocates "A Glance Ahead" Better glance behind oc- casionally if you are in a town where there are automobiles.
 Consumers of Coffee Sit Up," begins a headline in a Cincinnati paper. That's why some of them drink coffee. ''Who got the money?" asks the Hat tiesburg News. Pish, lush! Everybody knows who got the money
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

ieal Garden association, which was raised several years ago for the purpose of es- tablshing boys zoo in some park in Birmingham. It was started in the park near Five Points with few wolves, foxes, owls and one American eagle. There was also big rattlesnake donated by some one. The adjoining residents ob- jeoted so strenuously that the city of ficials in the night time removed and destroyed, or gave away the initial ani- mals
 No place could be found in which to To- cate the zoo
 The fund then raised by the boys is still in the hands of the treasurer and drawing interest It was raised to buy an elephant for the zoo. Birmingham is now big enough to have real zoo, and I would suggest that we all contribute and add to this fund and make a zoo which shall be maintained by the city of Bir- mingham in one of it's parks.
 I would suggest either Green Springs park. which Mayor Ward purchased some time ago, or the Avondale Springs park. Both are large and there would be no ob- lection from residents in either neighbor- hood.
 The funds for the purchase of the ami mals can be easily raised. Money will
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
FOR CHILDREN.

By Judd Martimer Lewis. Oh little bit of baby girl. And little bit of baby boy. With tousled windblown hair a-curl, With eyes a1ight with the baby joy, The world, and all in the world that's
 good.
 Was made for you-all made for The hill and valley and plain and wood, The fieecy clouds and the heavens
 blue. The daisies nod so your hands may - reach, And oceans and oceans of meadows
 sweet, As wide and far as the eye may reach. Are coaxing the pressure of little
 feet; But better than daisy or violet, Or meadow blossom all wet with dew. The mother check to your cheek is set The moth her-loving was made for you.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
MUST HAVE MEANT HIM.

From the Catholic Standard and Times.
 q wish I knew" said Cholly Saphead, If I had any show of winning Miss Roxie Swellman."
 "Well," replied Miss Peppery, from a remark of hers I think you're her choice."t
 LAW, really?" What did she say?"
 ..she said nobody was good enough to be her husband"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

be donated. It Is merely a matter of whether the city or the county will un- dertake to feed the animals and care for them. If not. it is possible that sub scription fund can be raised sufficient to maintain it. But, really the city or the county should do it, or should, at least, take charge of it and supervise it, as does Cincinnati Chattanooga, Atlanta and va rious other cities.
 I believe Birmingham is big enough to do anything it wants to do. It is yet, to an extent, in a creative state It's citi- zens have scraps among themselves. But there is not one among all of its citizens who is not striving to build up We are building churches and schools and parks and office buildings and banks and indus trial plants, and we are really making this Birmingham the biggest, the broadcast and by-jingo the best town in all the southland
 However much criticism might be in- dulged in upon the writer in the frank expression of his views, to be constructive and not destructive will be the express sions, the work the ideas, and the ideals of
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
Division Of Texas

One reads now and then that Texas is to be divided into two states. By the terms of it's admission it may be di- vided into five states, and it is big enough to meet those terms.
 But there can be no division of Texas except with the consent of the Texans, and it is wholly safe to say that that consent cannot be obtained. All Tex ans are proud of Texas, and they pro- pose to make it first in everything. It is now first in cotton, sheep and cattle, and when the Panama canal is opened it proposes to have the first city in the south. In some respects Galveston al- ready exceeds New Orleans, and when the state is more fully developed and the canal is opened they see no reason why 1,000000 people should not live on the island that was once swept by storm waves. The island has been lifted by human energies above the highest known wave, and commerce is snugly sheltered behind 1t.
 No, Texas will not be divided. Texan pride forbids. The state proposes to lead the big sisterhood, and for that reason she cannot stop to consider divisions. Division would place moro democrats in the Senate, but it would not meet the ambition of Texans, and so it may as we'll be dismissed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
Duties on Coffee and Tea

The Dalzell-Aldrich circle, represent ing special interests, proposes, it is said, to meet an apprehended deficit of $114,O00,0o0 with duties on tea and coffee. A duty of 5 cents on coffee would produce $45, 100000 year, and a duty on tea would bring in half as much more.
 This proposition to take away ''ths
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
TROUBLE WoRsTED.

TROUBLE WoRSTED. Trouble came to our house, Trouble sat him down, Wearing still doleful look, Clad in sober brown. Tried to make himself at home, But he couldn't stay; Hope, who'll promise anything, Drove him soon away. Trouble came to our house, Sorrow in his eyes,; Muttered to himself he would Take us by surprise. When he heard some laughter there And a lit of song, 'Umph" he said, ''No place for me Guess I'll move along"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
ALWAYS EXCITED.

From the Boston Post.
 Gunner-"Some of those New York brokers are planning a 100O-foot sky scraper.'
 Guyer-"Great Scott! I thought enough of them were up in the air already"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
NEW ONE.

From the Boston Post.
 stubb-"I'll have to keep my eye on Bilkins. He sent me a feminine threat" Penn--"And what in the world Is feminine threatY'
 stubb-"Why, yelled one."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

President Gomez of Venezuela gets into office in good time to congratulate President Gomez of Cuba. Both right men in right places.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

w. H. Newman, the retiring presi- dent of the New York Central, began his railroad work as a station agent 1t Shreveport, La.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
HIGH KNOCK,

From the Boston Post
 O'Toole-"He insulted me to my face" Harrigan-"A yez didn't make him measure the loorT
 O'Toole-"Bedad, no! Oi hit him so harrud he measured tn ceiling"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
NOT A MENDICANT.

From the Boston Post
 Askitt-"I say, old man, who gave you that black eye?''
 Noitt-''Nobody gave it to mo. earned it. See?'
 Askitt-"Not exactly. How did you earn it?"
 Noitt-"Called man liar"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

Woman suffrage is securing support CTS in sassiety in New York, but this will not help any in other parts of the country.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

The weather man got fine lot of weather in his sock and he Is handing it out to all the people in Alabama at least.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
SURE SIGN.

From the Boston Post.
 cunner-Did you uncle reach a green old age?
 Guysr-I should say so. He bought a green hat.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

The William Howard Taft inaugural ball is to cost $75,000. The fiddiers should be well paid.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
THE UNEXPECTED.

From the Boston Post.
 Hixon-The unexpected actually hap pened today.
 Dixon-How's that?
 Hixon-Short paid me $5 he had bor- rowed more than a year ago.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

It is a close contest between San Francisco and Pittsburg for first place in the art of grating.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

The Irish people who did not come to America are drawing consolation purses in the shape of old-age pen sions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

Dr. Gomez operated on Venezuela while Dr. Israels operated on Castro. In both cases an ulcer was cut out and thrown away.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

The Little White House on the Sa- vannah has resumed golf and cabinet construction.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

The Senate now considers it good form to snub a secretary from the chief executive who comes bearing special message
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
MAYBE.

''He pleaded for just one kiss and she got mad"
 T wonder whyT'
 ..Because he didn't plead for dozen, I guess.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

Philander Chase Knox will be Penn sylvania's third Secretary of State, and the state is proud of him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

The old-fashioned New England win ter reached down to Virginia, but 1t did not stay there long.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

Aldermen in Pittsburg have been bribed with a stogy. In some places they come higher.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

Missouri may yet have to go back to the use of tallow dips.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

Missouri has decided that Johndee can no longer play in her yard.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

Pittsburg is undoubtedly a great steal center
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

Mark Twain, Incorporated" is the latest and best joke of the season.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

Each honest heart is now pretending it was just what was wanted anyhow.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
WANTED QUIET

'Is she the maid of all work?'
 Presumably, but I've been telling her that she needn't include her chin"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

A MAN AND HIS PRIDE. He struggled along till he stood at the
 top,
 On the peak that we call Success" And he gave little heed, nor ever would
 stop
 At the cry of a soul in distress; But proud of his strength and proud of
 his gold
 And proud of the fame he had won He died in his pride when his story was And the toll of his day was done. The papers recorded the facts of his life The world condescended to pause; Men spoke of the part he had played in
 the strife And voted him formal applause Now his name is forgot and his fame is
 forgot
 And of all the procession who wend Through the valley of shadows none visits
 the spot To murmur This man was my friend"
 WHOLESALE. "As a rule, aldermen are bought singly or in pairs"
 "Quite true" "But in Pittsburg 1t seems they can be purchased in job lots"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

Wall street bought next to no Teddy bears for Christmas gifts.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
SEASONING

"He swore she was the salt of his life" And nov that they are wed?' She's the pepper"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

WHERE THE TROUBLE LIES. When nothing seems to please you And skies are never fair, Just take a look into your heart You'll find the answer there.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
Castro's star of destiny is in eclipse

Some call them Pittsburglars now
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
A SENSIBLE MAN.

How would you like to have some partridge at the Hotel Plaza for s7 a plate?'
 "I'd rather keep my s7 and loaf in the lobby"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
WANTED THEM DEAD.
TOO LAT

sir?' r with the kick taken out."
 TOO LATE. He moans his fate With wild regret, Who hasn't done His shopping yet!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
A PERMANENT CONDITION.

'Is being absent-minded sign of genius?" Not necessarily. Sometimes 1t merely indicates a missing mind."
 TRITE BUT TRUE. The man who loves
 His work
 Will never want
 To shirk.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
LuCKY FOR FATHER.

Aladdin was rubbing his wonderful lamp. ITO save my life,' he muttered, "I can't make Christmas come more than once a year"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
REALITY.

REALITY. If all depends on how you feel A chan who suffers with his heel, His jaw. his head or else his back, Or sits upon a carpet tack, will hardly wear a pleasant smile And love his fellows all the while. However much the poets may Declare we ought to sing each day And bravely meet the turns of luck such talk is bosh when one Is stuck!
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
OPTIMISM.

4 Christmas wedding at the poor house.
 SURE. His proper place Is on the shelf Who only lives To doubt himself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27
REPLIES.

Oysters caused the death of college girl in Massachusetts. Pickles and fudge are never fatal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-27

Bath House John" has dropped into poetry again. There are people in this
The Oakes times. [volume] (Oakes, N.D.) 1906-current, 1908-08-20
School Bell Is Being Oiled.

The city schools will open on Sept.
7th with the same corps of teachers in
charge as last year with the exception
of superintendent, which will devolve
this year upon Prof. Frank Jarvis, of
Milton, Iowa. Prof. Jarvis arrived
last week with his wife and two chill
dren and is getting settled in the res
idence at the corner Of Cedar and Sc
cond streets. He has been at the head
Of the Milton schools the past five
years and comes directly here from a
term Of summer school work in that
state. He has the degrees of MA,
Ph.B. and B., and has a long string
of credit marks as an educator and a
man Of executive ability. The faculty:
Superintendent-Prof. Frank Jarvis.
Principal-Miss Beatrice Smith.
Asst. Principal-Miss Nellie w. Hall.
Music and Drawing-Miss Ruth Fink.
Grammar-Miss Minnie Eaton.
Seventh-Miss lone Eaton.
Fifth and Sixth-Miss Ethel Maclinn.
Fourth to Primary-Miss Rhoda Nc
Cartney. Miss Stella Wilkins and Miss
Anna Anthem.
The lower front rooms in the Marsh
block are being fitted up for two ofsthe
lower grades.
The Oakes times. [volume] (Oakes, N.D.) 1906-current, 1908-08-20
Parties of the Week.

Miss Lou Fountain entertained a
party Of young ladies at her home
Thursday afternoon in honor of her
guest, Miss Sherwood.
Miss Maude Sackrider gave pink
and white tea at $50 at her home Fri
day afternoon in honor of her guest,
Miss Gleason of Jamestown. Covers
were laid for ten.
The Misses Hilma and Minnie Nelson
entertained party of eight young
ladies at the home of their sister, Mrs.
P. ]. Aasen on Saturday afternoon.
The Misses Shabino gave a progress
sive peanut party Friday night at their
home in honor of the Misses Holte of
Glendale. There were twenty present
and contest was wagered with the
respected" hatpins on fat, rolling
peanuts, prizes being awarded for the
highest AMI lowest for both ladies and
gents. After refreshments toasts were
responded to.
Mrs. ]. F. Sullivan gave a farewell
party Tuesday afternoon in honor Of
Mrs. Ed. Sanderson, who is soon to
leave for Forman. The popular game
Of five hundred was played and nice
luncheon was served near the supper
hour,
The Oakes times. [volume] (Oakes, N.D.) 1906-current, 1908-08-20
CITY LOCAL

w. "A. McOuNey returned CElO0y
from days visit at Huron.
DR.. R. H. Hecht, of Hawkeye, Iowa,
is visiting at the Foot home.
Roy Bunker went to Cogswell Tues
day, where he will work for Moore
Bros.
Miss Alma Payne, of Minor, arrived
Tuesday night in the city and is the
guest of Miss Louie Phifer.
A White Elephant social will be held
at the home of G. B. Phifer Wednesday
evening. Aug. 26th. Come and bring a
white elephant.
S. G. Cady has been seriously i'll the
past week but yesterday was able to
sit up again. Mr.. Cady has not been
feeling we'll for some time.
The Morgan brothers are the latest
of our rural neighbors to go about the
country in a benzine wagon. They now
own the Cadillac, run by Moore Bros.
at Cogswell.
Mrs. James Vail and two children, of
Chicago, visited with uncle, F. A. Bah
cock and family from Saturday until
Monday. when they left for Forman to
visit with other relatives.
Gerald Meyers went with the Lisbon
Military Band, which accompanied the
North Dakota National Guard on its
trip to the state Of Washington. The
regiment left Friday on its western
trip.
North Third street is looking bettsr
every day. New cement walks in front
Of the Oakes Hospital and Catholic
church and the new concrete curbing,
crosswalks and street grading males
an excellent improvement in the past
few weeks.
Misses Meldahl and Void returned
Monday from their visit at Valley City
and left last evening for the twin cities
to purchase their fall stock of millinery.
Miss Maylou COUNSEL went with them
and will study the millinery business in
one of the wholesale establishments.
The farmer feeds the world. Are yoy
interested in a home of your own:
Make an inspection of the Western
Land Securities Co.'S large tract o1
agricultural land in Billings and Bow.
man counties. North Dakota. 1t viii
interest you. See W. A. Pannebaker,
our local agent.
C. M. Stevens will soon start poo
and billiard hall in the basement of his
hotel. The place Is being fitted up ir
modern style and the entrance will be
from First street, just at the corner Of
the building. Mr.. Stevens was dowr
to the cities last week for the fixtures
and he hopes to be able to start bust
ness about the 25th.
The Oakes times. [volume] (Oakes, N.D.) 1906-current, 1908-08-20
MUCH ACTIVITY IN
LAND BUSINESS
H. ]. johnson Sells Seven
Quarters for $4,000
The Eaton Farm IN Port Emma Included N
The Transfer-Excursion Brings IN
More Men Last Night

The biggest land deal made in these
parts in recent years was consummated
the past week when the H. j. johnson
Land & Cattle Company Of this city
transferred to Miss Clark, of Fremont,
Neb., seven quarters of land in Port
Emma township for the sum Of $51, 900.
The exact acreage is 1.148 acres. Part
of it is known as the H. F. Eaton ranch
and it all lies adjacent to the Jim river.
Mr.. johnson says he is doing an
excellent business these days. In the
past three weeks he has transferred
property to the amount Of $85. 900. He
is now improving several half sections
by adding buildings which he intends
to dispose of to actual settlers.
Through his Office the G. w. Arget-
singer half section in Riverdale was
recently sold to Etteldurph & Kass,
and Tuesday Floyd Teachout, who came
here on a visit from Dixon, ILL.,, bought
quarter section.
Activity in the land business is in
creasing in this section. It is not hard
to sell q man from the states south of
here when they once come and look at
our soil and the crops that are grown
from it. The excursion train which
came in last night brought some more
land seekers and undoubtedly there will
be other good sales yet this week.
o. P. Emmons of the w. A. McCulley
Land Company arrived from Nebraska
last night accompanied by fourteen
men and Jos. Zitzelberger had several
men.
w. H. Madden, a Nebraska agent,
arrived early in the week with three
men.
j Yesterday the McCulley Land Com
pany sold quarter section to man
from Cheyenne, Wyoming.
The Oakes times. [volume] (Oakes, N.D.) 1906-current, 1908-08-20
NEWS FROM THE CHURCHES
Swedish Lutheran.

The Luther League will meet at the
home of Mr.. and Mrs. John Nelson
tomorrow evening. Members are re-
quested to be present and friends are
cordially invited.
Confirmation class will meet next
Thursday forenoon at 1890.
The Sewing Circle will meet with
Mrs. H. Gilman next Thursday after
noon, Aug. 9th.
Regular morning service week from
next Sunday at eleven o'clock. Sunday
school and bible class at 1915.
&C. w, Samuelson. Pastor.
The Oakes times. [volume] (Oakes, N.D.) 1906-current, 1908-08-20

North Dakota is the great wheat pro-
ducing state of this country. North
Dakota has long been called the
Bread Basket of the World" w. A.
Pannebaker, the Western Land Secur-
tiles Co.'S local agent, will give you full
information.
The Oakes times. [volume] (Oakes, N.D.) 1906-current, 1908-08-20
Family Wants Work.

Family from Illinois wants work on
farm. Consists Of father, mother,
daughter and two sons, children aged
sixteen, fourteen and ten. First class
on farm work. Must be employed at
once as they are now boarding in Oakes.
Norwegian and strictly temperate.
Family will not be divided. Will accept
so per month for all hands. Inquire
Immediately at this ofics.