davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-17
Special (ampaIgn Offer.

The Sioux City Tribune, inde-
pendent, unbiased and progress
sive offers its paper from now un-
til December Ist, by mail for 50
cents. The Tribune is an after
noon paper and reaches 70 per
cent. of its patrons the same eve.
ming as published. Subscribe now
and get the tull advantage of this
offer.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-17

A great cleanup sale of fine
wash and white goods is now con-
Quoted at the Vauk's store and
will last until the goods are gone.
If you want to save money you
had be.ter attend this sale at once.
The sooner you come the better
for you. A rare chance to obtain
a good article at an amazingly
low price.
Wanted Girls for dining room
and domestic service at the South
Dakota State Hospital. Perma-
nent positions and good wages,
Address DR.. L. c. Mead, Supt.
Yankton, S. D.
Is your life insured1 If not,
you will make no mistake in ta-
king policy in the U. S. Annuity
ane Life Ins. Co. of Chicago.
Ask v. J. Wagner, agent, for fur
ther light on this question.
Hear the Great Commoner"
Wm. J. Bryan, at the Mitchell
Corn Palace. September 2Sth the
only speech he will make in the
state during the campaign. Don't
fail to attend.
| have received fine new stock
of ladies fall and winter hats and
invite the ladies to come and ins
pect them. Mrs. Melmer.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-17

Joseph Ourecky, former mana
ger of the Tabor Mill, we read in
Clarkson, Neb. papers has accept
ed position in the mill of Joseph
Barta, that city.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-17

A garae of ball was played on
the farm of Joseph Rezac east of
town Sunday afternoon between
pickups os Tabor and pickups on
the tarm, which resulted in a
score of Is to IS in favor of the
town boys. A large number of
fans of both sexes attended the
game. An effort is made to arran
&c Tor another game on the pre-
misses, the date to be announced
later.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-17

Arrange to attend the Mitchell
Corn Palace, September 28 to Oc-
tober 8. Twenty special trains
Half rates on all trains over all
roads during the entire week. Nit
ehell always does her best to en-
tertainy you.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
MAIDEN LOST HER SLIPPER.
And Young Man Who Rescued II Was
the Envied Of All Observers.

Everything about her bespoke the
returning Summer Girl as she tripped
blithely out of the Grand Central sta
ton, says the New York Press In
one hand she carried a rather bulky
travelling bag. in the other she held a
gorgeously lowered silk sunshade. to-
gether with the ample reefs in her fur
beloved skirt and petticoats. The
daintiest pair of feet in tan slippers
fiuttered from beneath The reefs as
she hurried through the throngs of in
coming and outgoing passengers to-
ward Forty-second street car.
She was good to look at despite the
deep tan of the summer sun and the
frieze of fragrant freckles across the
slightly upturned nose. AS she hoped
blithely into the first car that came
along ii became instantly obvious to
other passengers that something had
gone wrong. They heard a shrill lit
tie soprano oh" burst from her lips
as she looked around appeaingly TO
The car conductor, horror depicted ia
every feature.
With sudden jerk the car came to
stop before it had gone ten feet A
moment later a young man ran up to
the side Of the car whore she sat He
raised his hat decorously as he handed
up TO Miss Freckles little tan Slip
pert couldn't have been more than
a three-and ahalf.
y beg your pardon miss said the
young man, but | think you must
have dropped this as you got on the
car"
oh, yes; thank you go much " muir.
INJURED Miss Freckles smiles and
bushes running riot over tan and
freckles, as she took the proffered Slip.
per and coyly popped ii down where
it properly belonged
Can | be Of any further service to |
you, miss" gallantly added the young
man, as daintily gloyed hand started |
on the mission of replacing the va.
grant slipper,
oh! dear me, no; thank you" re,
turned the girl, with the sweetest Of
smiles.
And then the car sped on, leaving
the slipper rescuer the envy of every |
man aboard it,
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
LIABLE TO BECOME IRkSOME.
Some Drawbacks In Having Disease
as an Occupation.

A New York man was brought be
speeding, The magistrate asked his
occupation. Rheumatism, replied
the prisoner. 1t was so recorded.
When You think of it, he was prob.
ably not far wrong. If anything will
keep a man occupied 1t Is pet
trouble like rheumatism or indiges.
tion, Give It a chance and it will
make other mundane matters rela.
lively unimportant. II will prove tho
most exacting of occupations
IL has one advantage over the ordi
nary ones; hard times can't interfere
with 1t. Every factory In the world
may close, but the man who makes his
disease his occupation need not work
His occupation will not be touched.
IT will always be open, beyond all
chance and change of the unsteady
planets But IT has the disadvantage
that It tends to grow more and more
enerous. A man begins, say, with a
little light and easy employment at
indigestion, His hours at first are
reasonable. Soon he discovers that
he must pay more attention 10 it II
he would do the thing right, He gives
1t several hours day additional He
begins to think about it al odd times.
Before he knows it he is occupied
with 1t for practically all his waking
hours
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
ALASKAN BIRDS IN CALIFORNIA.
Strange Visitors Brought to San Ber-
nardino by Big Storm.

At an early hour this morning sew
eral tiocks OF strange birds numbering
thousands came into the city on the
wings of big rain and wind storm,
and this morning the bodies of many
OF the fowl were found lying inert in
the downtown streets and in the
parks, says a San Bernardino CORE
spondent OF the San Francisco Chron.
icle. The air was filled last night with
cries OF strange fowl which, attracted
.by the electric lights, roasted upon the
buildings or fell exhausted in the
streets. Investigation today showed
That many of the birds were of Alas
Kan variety, and the only accounting
for their presence in this latitude is
tha' they were engaged in a long
hi.ht 10 the southern zones from their
northern summer haunts and had been
deferred from their route by heavy
winds and rains, The most noticeable
birds were the northern phalorpe and
the night horohs The former birds
are rarely seen outside of Alaska or
In the far south.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
"Naviuates" His Farm.

story which almost parallels that
told Of Capt GRAY. the sailor farmer
Of To-day Pond. who is said TO carry a
compass on his plow to rsn the fur
rows straight. comes from Cranberry
isles one sea captain. who enjoys
the proud distinction Of owning one
Of the very feW horses on the island.
got alarmed for fear that he would
lose his bearings in the recent smoke.
and on the veracious accounts Of sober
citizens took the pinnacle from the
vessel and strapped 30 alongside the
seat Of bis wagon fearing that the
weather might become so thick that
he would lose his bearings and have
20 navigate in Hhat vas worse than a
foe II is currently reported that he
shouts AZ his team to turn TO star
board or port instead Of the more
conventional landlubber terms usual
u employed -- KsnHebec tMeJ
Journal
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
WITTY 70 the LAST.

Isaac O'Barns, once pension com.
missioner in Boston. appointed by
President Franklin Pierce. was known
for his terse and cutting sayings. II
was told of him that he promised 10
subscribe for the erection Of Baptist
church on condition that they should
"baptize EN- in hot water" n H. OF
Mr.. O'Barns the story is told that
when on his deathbcd. or when he
thought he was dying. and the doctor
had pronounced his feet warm and
said that no one had ever died with
warm feet, the old gentleman inquired
in a whisper whether tho doctor had
forgotten the case of John Rogers.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
Not on the Man

There once lived wealthy, but un.
educated, man who owned many sail
ing vessels. and followed their course
over the seas by the aid of an enor
nous atlas.
I've just had letter" he said 10 a
ncighbor. from one Of my CAPTAINS
and he tells me that he's been in a
fearful storm. and didn't know but the
vessel would 20 TO pieces. but ru
read YOU what puzzles me He SAYS.
The waves rose like mountains. while
the vivid lightning broke the piicby
gloom We were driven before the
wind and PM into great jeopardy
What ] want TO know is. said the
shipowner, as he folded the sheet
where is Great Jeopardy? know
It's somewhere I'm the Mediterranean
but cant find IL on this map any
whore
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
MORE THAN 100000
Sent BY Foreigners in U. S. to Old
Country Through Port of New
York This Month.

New York, Dec. tS--More than 49,.
900 900 in the form of money orders
has been sent to foreign countries
through the port of New York be,
tween December 2 and December II
when the last Christmas money re.
mittance ship sailed. These figures
wer given in a statement made pub
lie by Postmaster Morgan today the
period severed between that of the
usual holiday outhew of money from
the foreign population in America to
friends and relatives in Europe The
S5,0i0,729 was sent in 1885 inter.
national money orders. more than
twice as many going to Great Brit.
ain ana Ireland as to any other coun-
try, while Italy, Sweden and Germany
came next in the standing.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
Another Joke.

Down the street he dashed with his
hair flying in the breeze
The bitter end he shouted wild,
ly The bitter end"
Hes going to jump off the bridge"
shouted one of his pursuers.
Catch him. yelled another
And after a dozen men had tumbleG
over one another trying to round him
up they found him calm and smiling
Whats the matter with YOU" they
demanded
Nothing" he responded mildly
We'll, what about the bitter end?'
Here it is, gentlemen, The end OF
a Pittsburg stogie. ! am selling these
stogies today at len cents for five
and with each stogie YOU get a g7nu
inc Chile diamond"
But 20 determined men rushed him
and his stogies down into. the tunnel
and left him.-Chicago News.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
Identifying Chris.

In the afternoon in all the schools
a part OF the time was devoted TO the
study Of the life and deeds Of Column
bus
An amusing reply WAS given by one
Of the pupils. 4 teacher had told the
class of the wonderful voyage Of
Columbus and how he insisted on con
tinuing the voyage after the other
men were clamoring 10 return. Then
she asked: Who was Columbus >"
with The view Of hearing how well
they had followed her talk.
One little hand went up.
We'll, Johnny. who was he" asked
the teacher.
Columbus was the gem OF the
ocean, was the answer.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
Better Odds.

A farm laborer was taken i'll on a
visit 10 London, and a friend gave
him he address of a doctor to whom
to go. The fellow soon came back
and reported progress.
I've taken some medicine" said
he; but I'm hanged If went TO that
doctor Of yours"
Why" asked his friend
Well" he replied, Il was just about
to go in. when | saw on his doorplate
his name, Dr. X and below it 10 to -
When | saw that ! said to myself.
IN be hanged If take such a risk as
that So | went a few doors farther
Up the street and saw another plate
with DR. Y and below it I to g. The
odds were better, so / went ink
change
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
English and American Contrasts.

The English business mans hours
are shorter than ours, and, besides,
when his work is done, he turns to
some ayocation, culture, theology. art
or literature The American business
man is inclined to be too materialistic.
His work is too intense, 100 engross-
ing, and when he is through--and we
work long hours-he wants something
with a tang 10 il, something he can
taste all tho way down He must
have an automobile that he can drive
through the country at 70 miles an
hour; he must have AT least his golf
or poker, even on Sunday. Balfour
had as his agocatiun theology--dd
You ever hear Of an American poll
tician seeking relaxation in the
oloey ?"-Bishop Williams Of Mchi-
gan.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
The Amenity of Tennyson,

An American young lady--tho
daughter of an ambassador-wh was
exceedingly anxious to meet the Ian.
reate, was given the chance TO fulfil
her eager hope one night at a soirce
After she had been introduced to him
the following dialogue began:
Tennyson-Iou are American?
Girl-Yes
Tennyson-You know Walt Whit.
man?
Grl-No
Tennyson-Then you don't know
the only man worth knowing in
America
Whereupon the laureate turned
away and the interview was over.
The Conseryator.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
SHOCKED IN HAUNTED CHAMBER
sIeepers' Fright, However, Was Not
Caused by Ghosts.

John Leech and a member OF the
Millais family once STAYED a night al
Cowdray hall. in England, where.
many guests being present, the two
friends had no alternative but to &C.
cept beds in an isolated room sup
posed TO be haunted.
In the middle OF the night Nilais
awoke. believing that some giant was
shaking him violently by the shoulder
This was supposed To be the favorite
device Of the ghost He rushed into
a corridor and found Leech sitting
there trembling and declaring that he
would not for the world 20 back to
his room
They spent the remainder OF the
night In the corridor. but IN the morn
ing said nothing Of their experiences.
In the afternoon there arrived an
evening paper telling Of violent
earthquake in the locality. The earth.
quake was what the two visitors b.
lievcd to be their Ghost
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
A Lack Of Trust.

Mrs Berry Brown-Wah did nah
black Berry 'complish desc heah fowls
he done brought home 10 his owny.
own bridey.
Mr. b B.-AH buyed EN- In town.
Liza
Mrs. J.. B.--Look heah. Berry. q
yo's gwine 10 seo-!ve me daf way
Abs gwine rlsat hcn.e 10 my ma
Kansas City Journal
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
JONES PUT UP A SUBSTITUTE.
And incidentally Got Reputation as
After-Dinner Speaker.

"lf there is one thing | hate" re-
speeches Well. once | fouad nS'self
AT a big banquet where | knew very
few OF those present To my amaze
ment and horror, toward the end of
the festivities. the toastmaster fixed
his eyes upon me
We have with us tonight
heard the old, hated formula roll out
unctuoHsly from his lips-and then
my own name-'Mr Jones. the vel.
known. ctc.
The tuastmaster concluded. but I
made no move 10 get on my feet ]
felt paralyzed; my tongue was seeking
10 climb through the roof of my mouth
And then the guests, from al sides
began yelling. Yes, Jones. Jones,-
which is Joncs?-where is Jones'
"A brilliant idea came 10 me. sit
ting close beside me was a little man
who dearly loved spoechifying. Like
a fash ! jumped TO my feet Jones'
WHY. here's Jones' cried. and
claUpcd the little Damosthenes IN The
shouldor Then 7 yanked him 10 his
feef. murmnring in an omiuous sottn
voce: Don't give me away; speak
now
lie spoke. And. in the Eui=e ~
myself. he made A most successful
little Grafton. There was loud APP
plause and much shouting OF What's
the matter with Jones2 He's al
right"
AS for me. ] slipped wine and gradu-
ally recovered from the nervous shock
occasioned by my narrow escape from
being eloquent"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
More Psychology

LADY said Flooding Pete. as he
finished the luncheon which had been
provided. 4 said ia DO me best u
help ont wid Dc Mood chopin
That's What son said
An I'm a man ~ mo vord.
Then Whv don't sou reach for the
az and 20 20 uork
lady. 7 merely took he contract.
didn't guarantee fo Az Dc rors ny
self I'm feiepsfhir Wood chopper.
an II you don't disturb mo Hhi'a Jim
couCenrratib' my Thoughts 40 surprise
20. Jes' remem5aT. i snyhoiT walls
w. ike he's haf awake an. goes %
VorE On dat wool. at lm de- grateful
party Nhl mesmerll-I lim
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
IN EUROPE WITH MOTOR CAR.
Much There That Is Perpetual Deliaht
to Traveller.

Belgium and Holland, though not
blessed with good roads as rule,
have much to charm visitors in their
quaint views and old-world cities One
has, of course, To travel slowly over
the brick Dutch roads and the Bel
gian pave. but the towns are so close
together that the journey need never
be monotOnous And the lace-like
architecture of Brussels, the mystery
that enfolds antique Brugps, or the
historic associations of Dordrecht and
the dead cities Of Huyder Zee. are
sufficient reCompense for the Slight
discomforts of the route But once
east of Namur the pave ceases, and
one can travel in the delights of speed
along the valleys OF the wandering
Mouse, Lessee or MoselIe. The latter
river is charming, and a trip should
be made down It from Luxembourg il
possible, the grand ravines and i'm
mense woods giving never ceasing
variety Of Vogue
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
NEBRASKA M|LLERS.
viii Be Solid in Their Opposition to
Order Regarding Bleaching Of
Flour

Lincoln, Neb., Dec. lS.-The entire
milling industry of Nebraska will OPP
pose the recent order OF the secretary
of agriculture prohibiting the trans
portaton and sale of bleached flour
i'll interstate commerce. meeting
will be held in Lincoln in January to
oppose this order, which Is thought to
be death blow to the millers in the
state.
Nebraska mllers are forced to
grind winter wheat. Only by bleach
ing can they produce white flour that
ranks we'll in the market. BleachelB
are used in practically all the Nebras,
LA mills in the state. 1t is probable
that the millers will be backed in
their protest by the Nebraska rail
roads.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
The Kitchen God.

The kitchen god of China is per
haps not rightly so called. He has
place over the cooking range. but he
is the recording anger of the Chi
nese house. and it is his duty TO note
The actions ~ each member OF the
family and report them 70 the gods ~
the end n every month. Once a wear.
too. he goes to heaven IN person and
makes his annual report. So once a
year the family prostrate themselves
before him. csrrv him in procession.
and finally burn him, while crackers
are fred.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
Better Than Refrigerator.

II is we'll known thai food can be
preserved without undergoing de-
composition for a much longer period
in a container, from which the air
has been nearly exhausted. Than in
nearly absolute vacuum milk. fish and
meat have been preserved for months
unchanged without further expense
than that of withdrawing the air
present In the receptacle.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19

Annie Laurie was the eldest Of three
daughters Of Sir Rober Laari2 Of
MaXweltown She was born De
cember lG 1852 William Douglas Of
England CKirkcudbngn), wrote The
famous song but Annie married 10
1903 James Ferguson OF Craigdaroch
and was the mother of Alexander Fer
guson. the hero Of Burns song en-
titled The Whistle " Y Amert
can.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
At LastI

n you1l wait a moment" painted
the druggist. I'm attend 10 your or
der I've had a shock You see The
woman going ont? Well she's beer
living in this ueighborhood for about
two wears. She's been in here nearly
every dav. and every time she came
~ shc bought stamps SIAM
sometimes. sometimes tao. and nos
and thor three CT four
Then whar-- asked The waiting
customer
"VhF Just noR. fs1feTed The druz
e.. she bought Il cake If SOAP"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
DIPLOMATIC Relations

Jest had visit from my diplomatic
relations said Farmer Fodderfield
Your diplomatic relstionsgr
Yes. my brothers folks from The
ritv. They're - diplomatic that they
only visit ma Uhen apples. peaches
melons. grapes and sweet tafe-s is
ripa"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19

A London paper tells Of New York
man who. after letting the nail of his
forefinger grow for more than a year,
until now It is nearly an inch long. has
had IT cut and shaped like the nib OF a
goose'quill pen. Whenever he wishes
to use pen and ink he dips his finger
into the ink and scribbles along at
very rapid rate.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
WAS NOT THANKFUL
MR.. COOLEY FAILED TO APPRE.
GATE WlFE's EFFORTS.
or Course She Meant 1t for the Best
Eut Her Lieae Lord Thought
the Remedy Worse Than
the Disease.

My neighbor Cooley suffered good
deal last winter from rheumatism in
his breast, and his wife was badly
frightened about Il for fear II should
end In consumption, Cooley could not
be induced to try any remedy for the
trouble, and Mrs. Cooley was nearly
worried to death about it. At last she
determined to try strategy She made
dry mustard plaster and one night
while he was asleep she sewed 1t upon
the inside Of his undershirt 50 that it
would Just cover the rheumatic place
Cooley dressed himself in the morn
Ing, wholly unsuspicious Of the pres
ence of the plaster, and went down
stairs. At the breakfast table, while
he was talking to his wife, he sud.
denly stopped, looked cross-eyed. and
spasm Of pain passed over his face.
Then he took up the thread Of The con
versation again and went on. He was
In the midst Of an explanation of the
political situation. when all at once
he ceased again grew red in the face
and exclaimed.
81 wonder what in the No IT.
cant be anything wrong"
Mrs. Cooley asked what was the
matter, and Cooley said:
20. it's that Internal old rheuma-
tism again; come back awful BIT |
never felt it exactly he same way be
fore, Kinder stings me-"
Mrs. Cooley said she was sorry
Then Mr.. Cooley began again, and
was Just showing her how the ravages
of the grasshoppers in the west. and |
the potato-bug in the east would af |
feet the election by making the people |
and so likely to strike |
at the party In power when he sud |
denly dropped The subject. and. lump |
Ing mp. said:
Thunder and lightning, what's
that? Ouch 0, Moses, feels if ri
had a shovelful of hot Goals inside INV |
Must he that rheumatism, getting
said Mrs. Cooley sympatheti,
cally.
., gracious. no. It's something
worse than rheumatism. Feels like
burning into my skin. Ouch, Ow-
wow-wow, It's awful, I can't stand
i another minute. believe it's chol,
era. or something, and I'm going TO
1ie!"
DO try to be calm Mr.. Coolov'
Calm. How can man be calm
with volcano boiling over under his
shirt. Go way from here Get out of
he ~'7y quick while / so upstairs and
rtress Murder-r.r-r-. but it hurts.
~ r1c "et ont quick"
lien he rushed up 20 the bedroom
md "',i.lr'I Off his clothes Ills chest
WI F q color Ct a boi'od lobster: but
70 couldn't for the life of him tell
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
Candid Petrorn.ctInr

so. said the Young woman. Won
advise me fo keep a diary
By all means answered Miss Cat
enne Its good discipline. and yei
soothing 10 self esteem There's uofh
ing IKE diarE 10 convince 500 tha.
you aren't near as silly This year =
yol were last"
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19

Long Faced Indiyidusl-Young man.
you cant attend 10 your business If
yon don't keep straight
Young Man-That's all you know
about e. I'm a C0ntOItiOuisL
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
An Easy Wzv

Why do Won call that lawyer frienr
- yours such an authority I can
tnd sEy book in the legal library u
rhisn be is the author"
-rf course moi Hes an aufhsrit,
o. fa- uuwdtTeu Law.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
plau- Not Work.

We are nation az play. Work is
nuisance. and The real business OF
life is amuscment-liihbert Journal.
London
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-12-19
Book Made of Marble.

Al The Stro2zi palace in Rome there
is book made OF marble. the leaves
being of marvellous thinness