The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-11-08

This Is the story of a COW.
Is it the story of a dear COW that
lived in grandmother's red barn and
ate pink clover?
No.
Il is the story of bold. bad cow. of
the long-horned. raspberry plush vari-
ety, that lived on Laramie Plains and
ate bunch-grass. tomato tins, tents,
timid travellers and wire fences.
Why didn't she live in a nice red
barn?
Because she jolly well wouldn't-that
was reason enough for her. She pre-
ferred death to life IN a nice red barn,
or any fnclosed space whatso-
ever. So she lived on the plains And
haven't you just a little sympathy for
that bold, bad COW who preferred the
wild. free plains to the comforts of
civilization and the JOY of being use
full? have. Otherwise there'd be no
story.
The COW introduced herself. I was
lying on my back at noon one summer
day. smoking my after-dinner pipe.
wishing somebody'd do the dishes for
me and put them into Jilny's pack, and
saddle up. and see that the fire was
tramped out. so it wouldn't set the
plains ablaZe. and that we'd beat up a
big bunch of nice ripe young sage
chickens, and see some antelope. and
shoot a wolf. and that / could sleep Il
solid week without stopping. when-the
cow pranced up the chalk bluff at the
foot of which Brandt and 7 were max
Ing dinner camp.
/ don't know what she took exception
TO In my appearance or attitude. 1t
may have been the sole of the boot ]
was swinging In her face, one knee
dangling over the other; II may have
been my 'baccy and she didn't like the
brand. II may have been myself At
any rate. her manner was most abrupt
and rude. The minute she saw me she
lowered her head and flung me the most
awful who-who-WHO" She
seemed TO pull the sounds up from her
boots and throw them out like yards of
bunting to fiutter on the breeze-"You
-who-who-WHOi
I said. "All riSht-who are you"
But Brandt sat up from behind the
rock where he was trying TO cover his
large person with 6X20 inches of warm
shade. and then took to his feet with
bounce. The COW gave whOop that
lifted her off the earth. For moment
she calculated her Jump on him from
the top-a sheer thirtS feet-thought
better Of 1t, dashed TO narrow tread
way zigEagging TO reach the stream,
and came pouring down.
Crazy Janet" cried Brandt 1.-THE
rifles
And the rifles We're in the saddle hoI-
sters where we'd thrown them Off
never thought Of taking them a. we
carried our lunch upstream looking for
n place with enough sagebrush for our
campfire. Brandt threw one look at
them-Crazy Jane had reached the level
and was rushing on us-"CIear the
l~l- TO- .
Squat Gown,-folla me- yelled
Brandt jumping directly on the track
and squatting there himself.
Squat down on the track OF the En-
plre State, thought I. For goodness
sake. let mel had brief reminiscent
visions OF several athletic feats, suit
able for my college gymnasium and a
thin attire-how I might trip the light
fantastic toe over her head and come
up smiling in the rear; or sprint across
the landscape-always keeping a leetIe
bit ahead: and why not Just scale the
waltz As I say, these were visions,
flashed and gone while the COW ramped
up, her huge head with It's yard-wide
horns. blowing the atmosphere
The next instant Brandt went up In
the cir. whooping.
oo-hee,-Whoo-hee," and his
scmbrero caught her slap IN the face.
The Empire state took g siding with
great audiences and went laundering
past in clouds of dust and made down
brakes" and fun stop twenty rods
away
Brandt was racing after her as fast
as he could tear. he snatched a rife
from the holster and aimed
''Bang-Zipt," a bullet struck tho
ground in front OF Crazy Jane, throw
ing up column OF dust. She STOPPED
her naughty head 20 examine IT,
'Bang-Zipt," bullet sent dust
into her investigating nose.
WocG WOO-oofi" she remarked an
srily. Brandt jumped across the
stream to Black Bess his mare
''Bang-BZZZ, \ bullet sang past
her ear, tickling in its flight. She shook
Her head savagely. demanding. who
your
'-BZZZ," A hornet stung her other
ear. she hoped into the air like
kitten-considerinyy her architecture
she did It very gracefully Then she
shook her ear; then she slapped II on
a sage bush: Their she kicked il: then
she tapped * with her tai: then she
asked. 'FWho-O-o?" OF the Landscape I'm
general. and while she was xa.finr he.
answer got n fifth bullet in the SAM.
pace. Before she could institute more
comprehensive inquiries Brandt had the