Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-06-05
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Wnat Is instinct? 1t Is tn nachral
tendency iv wan whin filed with dis
may to turn to his wife."-Mr. Dooley
Madge-Why did you refuse him If
he Is such a prudent man? Dolly-He
said he thought If he got married he
could save more money.-Puck.
First M. P.-And do most of your
constituents think as you do on this
question? Second NJ. P.ZWell, most
of them think as they think 1 do.
Ethel-Have you heard of Jacks en-
gagement to Eleanor? Harold-Dear
me! No. Then Jack has finally sue
ceeded? Ethel-NO; succumbed.-Lon-
don Tattler.
Patlence-Don't you think great pian-
lists are born? Patrice-Well, 1 don't be-
lieve any child is born with as much
hair as pianist has to have !-Yon-
kers Statesman.
She-I hear Miss Chatter is talking
of getting married again. He-Didn't
know she was ever married. She-She
wasn't; 1 said she was talking of it
again.-Comic Cuts.
Tommy (hampered with con
science and home from an afternoon
party)-Mamma, darling, I've a great
favor to ask of you. Please don't ask
me how l behaved
Mamma-Helen, you know that I
whip you because I love you and wish
you to grow up a good girl. Helen
Well, mamma, wish you didn't think
quite so much of me.
"The office should seek the man, you
know" That's all right" replied the
avowed asplrant, "but gave 1t fair
chance, and 1t seemed nt."-Phil-
adelphia Public Ledger.
"And do you mean to say you prefer
Chollie? You told me that you always
feel so perfectly at home with Algie."
so l do, but with Chollie l feel as IL
were at a restaurant"-Harper's
Bazaar.
Mrs. Benham-Why don't you see
l
owes you? Benham-You don't know
what plausible talker he Is, my dear;
If should meet him, he would borrow
more of me.
Reporter suppose you don't know
what the Senator thinks about this tar
iff reform business? Senator's Private
Secretary-No; no more than you do.
only know what he says about it
Chicago Tribune.
Tom Cat the musicale)-Don't you
think Miss Screecher sings with consid-
cradle feeling? Jack-Not so can no
tice it. If she had any feeling for the
rest of us she wouldn't sing at ALL
Chicago Daily News.
Mistress-Jane, l saw the milkmah
kiss you this morning. In the future
I will take the milk in. Jane
'Twouldn't be no use mum. He's prom
ised never to kiss anybody but me-
London Illustrated Bits.
The teacher had been talking about
a hen sitting on eggs, and, with the
incubator in mind, asked If eggs could
be Matched in any other way. "Yes,
sir" said an experienced person Of
nine. "Put 'em under duck"
Madame (to the nursemaid, who has
Just brought home her four children
from a walk)-Dear me, Anna, how
changed the children look since | last
saw them! Are you quite sure they
are the right ones?-Fliegende Batter.
pardon me, sir" began the portly
person in the railroad train to the man
. who sat next to him, "but what would
you say if sat on your hatT' Sup
, pose you sit on it and then ask me"
suggested the other II did," admitted
the portly person, calmly.-Harpers
Weekly.
"Things look rather run down around
here" remarked the man who had re-
turned after many years to his native
village. run down? should say so'
I replied the friend Of his youth. There's
an automobile comes through here
-, about every three minutes" es."-Philadel.
. phia Record.
Mother-Elsie, you mustn't make
such a noise on the stairs. Now, just
go right up to the top and come down
quietly like a good girl (After the
descent.) You seef never even
= heard you that time. Elsie-All right
y mother, I will always slide down the
banisters in the future.
II Harvey-You should have seen Hot
e ayre swell up at that mind-readine
= seance the other night when the blind
d folded lady actually told him the mum
ber Of his automobile. Beattie-But
e he has no auto. IIarvey-Of course not
d But he looked astounded and acknowl
p edged she was right.-Puck.