davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
The Grimmest Epitaph.

What is the most terrible epitaph III
existence? One Of the grimmest Is
surely that on a stone which was set
up few years ago In the cemetery OF
Debrescin, eastern Hungary.
It reads as follows: "Here rests IN the
Lord Joseph NORTH, ST., who died In
his sixty-second year. He was shot by
his son. Frau Joseph Moritz, who died
In her forty seventh year. She was
shot by her daughter. Elizabeth Mo,
ritz, who died by her own hand In her
seventeenth year after shooting her
mother. Joseph Moritz, who died In
prison, age twenty-seyen. He had sho'
his father. May eternal mercy have
pity on their poor, sinful souls|
This memorial was erected by a 10
cal literary association, to which, IL Is
said, the last of the III starred family
left a sum of $500 for the purpose.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
- . = =
Whv Was He an Idiot7

There is a story told Of very talka'
live lady who met with a well de-
served rebuke at social gathering no,
long ago. Her husband Is a man OF
high standing in the world Of science
but the lady regards him as dreamer
of impossible dreams. do you know,
she remarked, "that genius and imbe'
cility are twin brothers? The world
regards John as a genius. Now, there
are times when 1 believe him to be an
Idiot"
A painful silence followed, broken
nv blunt old doctor who had over
heard the remark.
"Are we to understand, madam" he
said "that Professor Y, though YOU
husband, is so lightly esteemed o!
you" /,
81 say what 1 think" she retorted
"At times John is Enthusiastically al
Idiot"
Merely because he is your hus
bandT
"Sirv'
"Oh, very WELL" was the grim re
joinder. 1--WE will put it another way
He is your husband because he is al
idiot. Will that dor - Pearson
| Weekly.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
Why Is the Ocean saIt7

The Creator made the ocean salt to
save the land from putrefaction. The
winds blow. everything offensive and
pestilential (as far as we allow them
to do the work of boards Of healthy
out to sea, where all humors are abb
sorbed by the hungry waters. Salt 10
a purifying agent. The ocean Is a
great manufacturer. 1t converts every
thing foul into health making ozone
and hands 1t back to us without
charge. No government label ID nee
essary. Stand on the PROV of ship
for three hours day, deep breathing
like an athlete, and your lungs will be
cleaned of everything poisonous. Your
blood will leap through veins and arte.
ries. Your heart will be obliged to
thump with renewed force. The tide
is the oceans tongue. 1t comes In
twice a day to lick up the foul things
of the earth and convey them to the
oceans stomach, where they are d.
gested, sailed down, cured and render
ed pure again.-Marine Journal.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
Men Who Help Thieves.

The ''rechristener' Is the profession
al name of the man who alters the
names and numbers on stolen watches.
The rechristener is usually clever
engraver who through drink or other
: wise has lost the chance of obtaining
honest employment and aids the re.
ceiver of stolen property. When q
watch has been stolen the number or
name or other indication of make OF
ownership may be forwarded to the
police and by them communicated to
pawnbrokers. There is consequently
an element Of risk In attempting to
dispose of 1t. There are various ways
of getting over the difficulty, and re-
christening is one that Is frequently
resorted to. The engraver adds or pre-
fixes another figure to the number OF
he turns the name ~. Robins" Into
"T. J. Robinson" the extra initial
serving to make the name look ievel
and central on the watch case. This Is
done very cleverly, and the rest OF the
letters or figures are touched up &c
make all appear to have been cut al
the same time.-London Standard.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
Public Sale

will offer for sale at my home
on Dickson hill, near Pincknev, Oh
the 10th day of February, 1908, all
my personal property, consisting OF
IL good heifer calves, all good
stock; 2 cows, fresh in spring,
work horses; Is head Of young
ewes: 3 wagons; old hickory gooC
as new: / set Of double work har
ness, good as new: rs to 100 bush
els of nice oats; 3 or 4 hay stacks
and 30 acres Of meadow land offer
ed for rent on day of sale.
Sale will begin promptly at nine
o'clock.
TERMS-Sums of less than So
cash; over that amount credit o
nine months from date, withou
interest, purchaser to give negotia
BILE note with two good endorsers.
e. A. CoRBBTT.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
The BURGLAR.

A burglar was one night engaged In
the pleasing occupation of slowing a
good haul of swag in his bag when ne
was startled by touch upon his snoui.
der, and, turning his head, he beheld
venerable, mild eyed clergyman gaz-
ing sadly at him.
"Oh, my brother" groaned the rev.
erend gentleman, "wOuldst thou rob
me? Turn, / beseech you-turn from
thy evil ways. Return those stolen
goods and depart in peace, for ! am
merciful and forgive. Begonew
And the burglar, only too thankful
at not being given into custody Of the
police, obeyed and skunk swiftly OF.
Then the good old man carefully and
quietly packed the swag into another
bag and walked softly $50 as not to dis
turb the slumber Of the inmates) out
of the house and away into the silent
night. For he, too, was burglar.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
WAGER of Battle.

In 1917 one Richard Thornton, called
to the bar of the kings bench charged
with the murder Of Mary Ashford, ID
open court threw down his glove ana
defied his accuser, whereupon there
was a pretty to do. Wager OF battle,
it was supposed, had died a natural
death in the dark ages, but Lord Ellen.
borough after much consultation OF
precedent held that it was still the law
of England and ordered field to be
prepared. Thornton's accuser thereup'
on declining combat, the prisoner was
discharged. Next year parliament
passed an act abolishing this privilege
of appeal to the strong right arm.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07

older ones, and fed when they do
we'll and starved when they fail to
catch fish for The master. 1t takes
about two months to teach a
young bird to fish, and their value
increases with their aptness and
An old bird that is
we'll versed in the work is worth
quite large sum, and they are
carefully tended and protected.
All fishermen protect their cormo-
rants with netting from mosqul-
toes when they are not in the wa
ter.
Clarence E. Edwards.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
Simple Remedy for La Grippe.

La grippe coughs are danger
Gus as they frequently develop toto
pneumonia. Foley's Honey and
Tar not only stops the cough but
heals and strengthens the lungs so
that no serious results need be
feared. The genuine Foley's Hon
ey and Tar contains no harmful
drugs and is in yellow package.
Refuse substitutes. Sold by Mon
ierey Druggist and Swadley Bros,
VanderpOOl.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
The Opportunity You Have B!tn
Looking For--TelegraplIy,

10000 more operators wanted,
$50 more wanted bv the Southern
Rail way..by March 2, 1908.
Six moStbs course. three months
ia school, and three months in a
railway office at S25 per month.
Positions guaranteed to telegraphy
students.
We have made this arrangement
with the Southern Railway Compa-
nv. The student will enter our
college for course in Telegraphy
usually requiring six months. At,
the end of three months, or there
bout, if the student is capable OF
assisting in a railway office, the
Southern Railway Company will
place him as an assistant in an Of
flee at salary of $25 per month
for three mouths or until he is ca
Fable Of taking charge of an office,
when he will he placed on the reg
ulsr standard salary. Our Teleg-
rsphy Department is in charge OF a
fpractical operator from the South
ern Railway Company.
I Enroll now so that YOU will be
prepared to become an assistant
[ when the great demand comes on
:. March 2, 1908. Ladies' are wanted
AS well as men. The ladies are
employed in the large office.
! Bookkeeping. shorthand, type,
writing, English and all associated
branches taught. SHENANDOAH
VALLEY BUSINESS COLLEGE, }. 5
|. Atkinson, Manager, liarrisonburg
). Va.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
A SENSATION

The marvellous curative proper
Ties of Foley's Honey and Tar has
proved a sensation in MANY cases
of severe coughs and colds that had
refused to WELD to other treatment,
Eoley's Honey and Tar will stop
your cough, and expel the cold
from your system. Contains no
harmful drugs. Swadley Bros,
Vanderpool, Va. Sold by all
Druggists, Monterey.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
For Sale.

Store. house and small stock of
goods, in a good location for bus
mess. This is the pretties store
room in town. Being nearly new,
25x4O feet in size, glass front, ard
conveniently fitted up. Ny reason
for selling is that may take
charge of farm.
For particulars, price, terms etc..
call on or address } G Loury,
Huntersyille.
Po.abontas Co., W Va.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
A NIGHT ALARM

Worse than an alarm of fire at
night is the metallic cough of
group bringing dread to the house.
hold. Careful mothers keep Fol-
ey's Honey and Tar in the house
and give it at the first sign of dan
ger. Folev's Honey and Tar has
saved many little lives and it is the
only safe preparation for children
as it contains no harmful drugs.
Swadlp, Bros, Vanderpool.Sold by
all druggists, Monterey.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
Piekino on Him.

A. first grade boy brought perfect
spelling papers home for several weeks
and then suddenly began to miss five
and six out Of ten.
"How's this, SOM" asked his father.
.Teacher's fault" replied the boy.
"How Is 1t the teachers faultp'
"She moved the little boy that sat
next to me."-Lippincott's.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
No CASE ON RECORD

There is no case on record of a
cough or cold resulting in pneu-
monia OF consumption after Foley's
Honey and Tar has been taken. 1t
stops the coughs and breaks up the
cold quickly. Refus any but the
genuine Foley's Honey and Tar in
a yellow package. Swadley Bros,
Vanderpool, Va. y Sold by all
Druggists, Monterey.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
Practical.

Sound practical advice given by a
misanthrope: II ever you should be at
tackled by night never shout Murder"
for no one will bother about you. Yell
"Firey' and everybody will be out OF
doors In jiffy.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
Sneaked.

"What side do you generally take
when your wife gets in an argument
with somebody else"
"Outside. It's safer" - Milwaukee
Sentinel -.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
The Head of the Family.

Mrs. HoyIe-Mr. Boyle is looking for
n horse that woman can drive. Mrs.
Coyle-That's fad of hers, getting
things she can drive. Her husband Ii
that kind of M lew York Press.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07

,oith doctorinq the effects, while the orig
fnaE disease undermines the system.
what To Do.
There is comfort i'll the knowledge so
often expressed, that DR.. Kllmer's
Swamp-Root, the great kidney remedy
fulflls every wish in curing. rheumatism,
pait, in the back, kidneys, liver, bladder
and every part of the urinary passage.
II corrects inability to hold water
and scalding pain in passing it, or bad
effects following use Of liquor, wine or
beer. and overcomes that unpleasant ne
cessity of being compelled to go often
during the day, and to get up many
times during the night. The milo ana
the extraordinary effect OF Swamp.Koot
is soon realized. 1t stands the highest
for its wonderful cures of the most DIS
tressing cases. If you need medicine
YOU should have the best. Sold by drug
gists in fifty-cent and one-dollar sizes.
You NAV have sample bottle and a
book that tells all t
about it, both sent free g $sss:E
by mail. Address DR.. \: .iSSSffviN
Kilmer & Co., Bing- 4@El
hatutor, N. Y. When Home Of swaInp-noos
writing mention this paper and don't
make any mistake, but remember the
name, DR.. Kilmer's Swamp-Root, and
the address, Binghamton, N. Y.
Don't make any mistake, but remem
Der the name, Swamp-Root, DR. Kilmer's
Swamp Root, anil the address, Bingham
son. N. Y. on every bottle.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07
Thousands Have Kidney
Trouble and Never Suspect it

Prevalency OF Kidney DIseds6s
Most people do not realize the alarm
ing increase and remarkable prevalency
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07

OF kldney ulsedse.
While kidneyd dis
orders are the
most common
diseases that pre-
vail, they are
almost , the last
recognized by
patient and ply
sicians, soho con-
tent Themselves
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07

There are times when God asks moth
ing of his children except silence and
patience.
Highland recorder. (Monterey, Highland County, Va.) 1877-1972, 1908-02-07

PARTIAL CONTENTS
Course in grammar.
How to increase ones vocabulary.
The Art Of Conversation.
Shall and will; should and would:
how to use them.
pronunciations. Century Diction'
arY).
Correct English in the home.
Correct English in the school.
What to say and what not to say.
Course in letter writing and punct-
uation.
Twenty daily drills.
Business English for the business
man.
Compound words: how to write
them.
Studies in English Literature.
AGENTS WANTED.
Correct English, Evansville, Iii
81 co A YEAR. SEND 10 CENTS FOE
-. SAMPLE COPY.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-12-15
HAZARD PARK BODY
SLURS MULHOLLAND
SAYS SUPERINTENDENT HAS
CHANCE TO PROFIT
Improvement Association lnsinuates
Aqueduct Engineer Might Be
Tempted to Buy Supplies
to Benefit Himself

The Hazard Park Improvement as
ISOLATION has carved novel niche for
itself by being the first person, firm
or corporation to question the honesty
of William Mulholland, superintendent
of the water department and chief en-
gineer for the owens river aqueduct
Mr.. Mulholland has a reputation fol-
honesty that is Pacific coastwide.
A communication was addressed tC
the council yesterday protesting
against the authority recently given
the board of public works to purchase
200 mules at not more than 5000 each
1000 tons of hay and to contract fol
hauling freight on the desert at a stip-
ulated price per ton mile. These are
all permitted under the emergency pro-
vision of the city charter.
The Hazard Park Improvement as
ISOLATION Is slightly facetious in its
letter, the purport of which is that
Mulholland might be tempted to pur-
chase inferior animals and fodder al
exorbitant prices in consideration of q
rebate, which the Hazard Park I'M
provenent association, by some method
known only to itself, has figured al
$4,000 for mules, 1880 for the hay an6
/ cent a ton mile for the freight con-
tract
This organization has a grievance
either real or fancied, against Null
holland for what it alleges he did tC
the Hazard park reservoir, and almost
weekly sends a letter roasting" Null.
holland in some way.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-12-15
MEETING DAYS FOR CITY
COUNCIL COME TUESDAYS
Counciln1en Find 1t Expedient TO Hold
Sessions One Day Later in
the Week Than Was
Customary

An ordinance was passed yesterday
afternoon to hold all council meetings
at 10 o'clock Tuesday mornings. The
ordinance contains the emergency
clause and will be effective as soon
as published. This will bring next
weeks meeting Tuesday morning in
stead of Monday.
For many years the council has met
Mondays, and it will be difficult for
the general public to accommodate It
self to the new order of things, but it
has been found necessary to make a
change.
Recently the council has been meet
ing Monday afternoons, and, being un-
able to finish its work, had to adjourn
to Tuesday. This was the case yes
terday. Less than half the amount of
work on the clerks desk was COM
pleted, and, in order to finish, the
council will meet at 1870 o'clock this
afternoon.
Last week the city attorney was in
structed to present an ordinance
changing the meeting time from Mon
day afternoons to Monday mornings,
but the officials of the various depart
nents declared it was impossible to get
their weekly reports ready by that
time and so the time for meeting was
changed to Tuesday. This gives plenty
of time to make reports. The city hall
closes at noon Saturday, and reports
for the week had to be ready Monday
mornings under the old system. Now
all of Monday is given to compile re-
portS
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-12-15
LAMB DISLIKES
CHASING CANNES
POUNDMASTER RESIGNS; LAW
SON NAMED
Secretary of Humane Animal League
Chosen by Mayor to Fill the
Position--No Friction
Now

DR.. w. A. Lamb has resigned as
poundmaster and Mayor Harper has
named George L. Lawson, secretary OF
the Humane Animal league, to succeed
Dr. Lamb.
The resignation of DR.. Lamb, 1t is
said, is due to some friction between
the officials of the Humane Animal
league, which has a contract with the
city to handle the dog-catching bust
ness. DR.. Lambs resignation was
written several days ago, but was not
presented until yesterday.
Mr. Lawson, the new poundkeeper,
will retain his office as secretary of the
league. He is in sympathy with the
aims of the leagues directors, and 1t is
predicted the work of the organization
will be carried on without any friction.
Mr.. Lawson is well known as leader
in humane work, and it is believed I'M
der his direction the dog-catching bust
ness will be conducted in humane, or
derly and satisfactory manner.
DR.. Lamb resumes his place on the
Fairgrounds commission, which he re-
signed to become poundmaster.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-12-15

Framed pictures and picture framing.
sauborn, Vail a Co., 4s4 and 1876 s. Bdway.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-12-15
NEW INTERPRETATIONS

The following articles of incorpora-
ton were filed in the county clerk S
office yesterday:
California Business ollege-Capitali
$25 900. Directors: F. owen Jennings,
c. G. Mansfield, Mrs w. A. Plaisted,
b, d. Mulligan and Miss r. Richardson.
Alhambra Packing House company
Capital. $500. Directors; F. @. Story,
J. A. Graves and Arthur Bean, Al
hambra.
L. A., S. P. and Wilmington Harbor
company-Capital, $4,000 Directors:
V. S. Gundry, f. E. Shaw, Long Beach
and Theodore C. Thompson, Pasadena.
Amount subscribed. $4,000.
e !, at the Angelus grill.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-12-15

f j.. at the Angelus grill.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-12-15
Sale Positively Starts Today, December 18th
/ at 9 A. NJ Sharp, for 10 Days Only

BIG sPECIAI-MEN'S S25 AND S35
OYERCOATS AND CRAVENETTEs
ALL SIZES
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-12-15
EXTRA CLERKS EMPLOYED
FOR CHRISTMAS DELIVERY

The postoffice and express companies
have already experienced the Christ
mas forecast of gift shipments and are
taking care of it with a staff of addi-
tional employees. Fifty new clerks were
added to the postoffice force yester-
day. Wells, Fargo & Co. are increas-
ing their force at all branch offices to
facilitate quick handling.
Christmas packages caused a notice
able Increase in the work yesterday
and this will grow steadily larger for
ten days. Postmaster Flint expects to
have $50 additional clerks at work by
The end of the week.
iThe registry division at the postof-
fice was given more room yesterday
Nv fitting up a portion Of the basement.
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-12-15
" az AllMerchandiSe at29cOnthe Dollar
765 @ & % ssS sseaHs Formerly 0'"
BuSt-UD Prices on Mem Suits for Christmas

800 single coats, values up CT 2S
to $40. All go at one price %A'O"
S115-Take notice! We have on
hand three cases of mems suits
which are off color, and odds and
ends, which we will sell at. Sill
a suit ................'
$40 .45-Business men, take notice!
Why go on Spring or Broadway,
and pay $50 for a suit? Don't fan
to look over our big special $4,000
suit table at Bust-up SIO.45
s14.65-How about this? Before we
opened this sale some of the best
tailors of the city of Los Angeles
made us a proposition to sell 80
suits which are worth $50 to SIS. We
bought the entire lot. These are
tailor-made, but uncalledSI a 05
for. Big forced price ....PA lev"
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-12-15

S265 buys a suit well worth $500 to
$500. These suits are in S265
perfect condition ..........V@'V"
$1245-How about one case of suits,
about 200 in all, which were to be
sent to the Eagle Tailors of Amer
lea? The case was smashed, but the
goods are perfect. These suits
range in price as high as CD AZ
$40. Bust-up price 49,. y @'1O
s1365 buys suit which we will
guarantee is Manufactured. and also
that the materials in these suits are
imported goods; all shades and
styles. Some Of the finest Ga rs
tweeds in the lot ........ VI O'VO
S6.95-This big sale offers. while
they last, 210 suits that are s35 to
$40 values, but only "a and 80 sizes
in the lot, Ga OK
Complete suit ............ %V'/O
Los Angeles herald. [microfilm reel] (Los Angeles [Calif.]) 1900-1911, 1908-12-15

S565-Two cases of black worsted
silks and about IS blue serge suits,
single and double breasted. No store
can sell the same for less than $50
to $3.50. Our big special IS 65
Bust-up price .............VO'
S3.95-Why, think of $1,000 and
$3.50 suits. There are some in this
lot that are worth SIS. Our g Or
price, all sizes ............V V'/O
$7.45-You can buy any suit in the
house which sold for $40; all styles
and sizes. These suits bear the
union label; come also in stouts
and Sims. Bust-up Ct AZ
S9.65-We have on hand 300 brown
suits in perfect condition. with cuff
sleeves and cuff bottom pants. These
suits are hand-flnished worsteds,
and are well worth $3.50 co AZ
and $25. Bust-up price 49,. ~/'VO
Evening journal. [volume] (Martinsburg, W. Va.) 1907-1913, 1908-03-17
house, slate roof etc. all in frs. class

house, slate roof etc. all in frs. ella IS
condition.
These properties will be offered sep
arately as set out and described in the
preceding paragraphs, and also as a
whole as described in the deeds OF
trust mentioned and will be disposed
of according to the highest bids Of
fered therefor.
One-third of the purchase money
ash, and the balance in two equal
payments of one and two years, the
purchaser to give his negotiable prom
issory notes, bearing interest from
late of sale for the deferred payments,
and vendors lien to be retained up
on the property until all of the pur-
chase money shall have been paid.
WARD B. LINDSAY,
Trustee.
Geo. w. Keesecker, Auctioneer
iO-4W.