Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-11
GANDERBONE.
What the Forecast Shows For
the Present Month.
Hicks Having Failed to Make Good We
Must Now Turn to Other Sources
for Information.

What are the bugles BLOWN for?"
Said Bach Tor on parade.
Its New Year Day, its New Year Day"
The Woman Halter said.
What makes you look so white. so
whiter'
Said Bachelor on parade:
I'm dreadin' what we've got to face
The Woman Halter said.
For Leap Year is upon us,
And the girls will use wire.
They'll book us like poodle
When the licenses expire.
An they'll dump us in wagon
An were of to find squire.
For they're laying for the bachelor
In the mornin'."
The big bet for this month will
be Taft. The Atlantic feet will ap-
proach the Horn with bent spy
glass, looking around for Japs.
Japan will have slack month at
the Nagasaki navy yards and will
build only twenty.seven more war
ships. The guess on Roosevelt's
future for this month will be that
he will become Congressman
after he leaves the White House,
and will go into the ring with Will
liams and DeArmond.
Mr.. Bryan will walk around the
Democratic nomination with a
hammer, to see if there is any place
where he could nail it down. Money
will continue shy, rising out of
range and flying eight miles. Mr..
Lawson will put his mask on and
go back into the game, jobs will
continue to run when they see you
coming, and sometime during the
month Mr.. Morgan will decide
whett er he has all the money he
wants now, or if he will continue
the panic.
After the goth we shall be under
the influence of Aquarius the water
carrier, the eleventh sign of the
Zodiac. Under this favorable sign,
Prohibition will establish about
eighty more storm centers, booze
will run another mile in nothing
south of the Mason q Dixon line,
and Carrie Nation will work with
Ratchet in each hand. To quote
an Omar OF the Oklahoma DESERT,
~ Hush little bar room
Don't you cry 81
You'll be drugstore R.s
80 = BY and by.
tAnother year mark we'll the rhyme)
Has joined the Host of Father Time.
few more solid banks will bust
70 many trusting ones disgust. rse.
The widow recently bereft .rr,
Will pop the question right and left,
And luckless man, of Leap Year butt,
Will scramble for the tall uncut.
The sport in Congress will consist
of battles with the horny fist, the
gentleman Missouri bred will call
some one noodle head; they'll
clinch and bite each others cheek,
the frightened galleries will shrek,
the Speaker will get out a gun, the
man from Arkansas will run, the
sergeant will bolt through door,
the fight will spread upon the floor,
the clerk will climb the chaplaln's
back, and the air will sound with
Biff and Whack, the War Depart
ment will turn out, the Senate will
get in the bout, and Fairbanks with
triumphant cry, will black Ben
Tillman's other eye. the president
will get his hat, his boxing gloves
and trusty bat, and will exclaim on
coming back, Ais quiet on the
Po-to nackm
AtJer that we shall have very
pleasant weather. The moon will
be full on the 18th, and persons
we never heard of will be mentioned
for vice president. The Fish Rarri-
man fight will 60 into the tenth
round, and Mr.. Fish will complain
TO The Hague tribunal that Mr..
Harahan is using knucks. General
Funston, on guard at Gold6eld. will
appeal to Secretary Metcalf to
transfer him to Washington, where
the fighting is going on; Christmas
presents will be exchanged for
something you want and Japan,
hearing that the feet is to keep
right on across the Pacific, will
move over on the mainland and dig
cyclone cellars.
Persons born in January have
cold feet and do not play poker. If
they are born under influence of
Aquarius the water carrier, they
will vote dry. They are very in
genious, and know how to turn the
gas meter back. They have large
families and small incomes. They
are slow to marry, but can get a
divorce as quick as anybody. They
are very shrewd in money matters,
and never give their wives che
money.
Don't answer the doorbell this
month. It's a book agent. KeeI
the silverware under the coal Pile