Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-31

to sympathiZe with her for all tina. she
had suffered. No one to help her to build
new and better hopes out of the wreck or
her mad ideas! He would cheerfully
have given his life for her Only last
night he was prepared to kill. which was
worse than TO die. for her sake. And
now to be far away unable to help. I'M
able even to know how she Jared. And
behind her eternally the shadow of that
worthless man. who had spurned her
love and flouted her to chance conner
in his drunken delir.um. 1t was too pit
ter to bear. How could God lightly lay
such a burden on his shoulders? 1t was
unfair, 1t was unfair. If he could do
anything for her? Anything, Anything.
And SO the amending Whirl of
thoughts went on.
The smoke of London was dim on the
horizon when he began to get hack to
pra ctical matters. When the ira II drew
up at Elston he stepped from it as one
to whom death would be. Joyous relief.
He went to quiet hotel. aud from
there transacted by letter such business
matters as were necessary 10 save pam
and trouble to others AS for himself. he
made up his mind that he would go TO
Alaska. which he took to be one of the
best places in the as yet uncivilzed world
for a man to lose his identity. AS a Sc
curity at the start he changed his name
and as. John Robinson, which was not
name to attract public attention. he ship
ped as n passenger on the Scoriac from
London to New York:
His vague purpose was to cross the
American continent to San Francisco.
and there to take passage for the nigh
ATTITUDES north OF the Yukon RIVER.
When Stephen began to ragin con-
seriousness her first sensation was one of
numbness: She was cold in the back. and
her feet did not seem to exist but her
head was hot and pulsating as though
her brain were living thing. This state
continued for a good while. She had
sensation that time had passed and was
passing still Then her half-opan eyes
began to take in her surroundings. For
another long spell she began to wonder
lars. green roof with great many Win
dows in it: very far away and all very
still. Then came the inevitable process
of reason. Trees, 1t is a wood. How
ground?
All at once Weakened memory opened on
her its flood gates and overwhelmed her
with pain. With her hands pressed to
her throbbing temples and her burning
face close to the ground, she began to re-
call what she could OF the Immediate
past. 1t all seemed like terrible dream.
So like a dream that only for the touch
of the cool. moist earth to the backs of
her hands she occasionally could not be-
lieve in the reality. She seemed with
shut eyes she tried to recall all that had
happened. to be looking on soma sort of
moving diorama. In her stll half-daZed
condition its personal aspect seemed
hardly possibility to her. By degrees
her intelligence came back to its normal
strength. and all at once. as does one sud
denly Weakened from sleep to the know
ledge of danger. she sat up.
Somehow the sens" OF time elapsed
made her look at her watch 1t was half
past twelve. AS she had coype into the
grove Immediately after breakfast. and
Harold had almost Immediately joined
her. and as the interview between them
had been but short. she must have lain
on the ground for more than three hours
She rose at onca. trembling in every limb
4 new fear began to assail her. that she
had been missed at nome. and that some
one might have come 10 look for her. Up
to now she had not been able to feel the
full measure of pain regarding what had
passed. but which would. she knew, come
to her in the end. 1t was too vague as
yet: she could not realize tkat 1t had
really been. But the fear of discovery
was immediate and must be guarded
against without delay. AS we'll as she
could she tdied herself and began to
walk slowly back to the house. hoping
10 gain her own room unnoticed.
Gaining her room without meeting any
one she at once changed her dress. fear
ing that some soil or Wrinkla might be-
tray her. Resolutely she put back from
her mind all consideration of the past :;
there would be tima for that later on.
Her nerves were already much quieter
than they had been. That long faint or
lapse into enstbility. had for the time
taken the place Of sleep. There would be
Il price to be paid for it later on. but for
the present 1t had served its purpose.
Now and again she was disturbed by one
thought: she could not quite remember
what had occurred after Harold had left,
and just before she became unconscious.
She dared not dwell upon II. however. 1t
would doubtless all come back to her
when she had leisure to think the whole
matter over as a connected narrative.
When the gong sounded for lunch she
went down. with a calm exterior. to face
the dreaded ordeal of another meal.
After lunch she went to her own bou-
doir. where. when she had shut the inner
door, no one was allowed to disturb her
without some special need in the house or
on the arrival of visitors. This sporting
oak" was the sign of mot at home"
which she had learned in her glimpse of
college life. Here in the solitude of
safety she began to go over the past.
resolutely and Systematically. She re-
joiced. if one can rejoice without any
spark Of happiness. that as yet she had
shed no tear There had been times
when the relief of tears would have been
an unspeakable boon; but she had never
been in the habit of crying. and the
traces Of tears would have infallibly ar
rested the attention of her aunt. AS yet
she could not afford IT. but she longed
for the time when she might safely aban-
don herself to the luxury of grief.
She had already been so often over the
memory Of the previous humiliating and
unhappy day that she need net revert TO
1t at present. Since then had she not
auarraled with Harold. whom she had all
her life so trusted that her quarrel with
him seemed TO shake the very founda-
tons Of her existence? AS yet she had
not remembered perfectly all that had
gone On under the shadow of the beech
grove. She dared not face 1t all at once,
even as Yet. Time must elapse before she
should dare 70 cry: to think of her loss
of Harold was to risk breaking down al
together. Already she felt weak. The
too much for her physical strengh II. She
began 10 feel as she lay back in her
cushioned chair. that swoon Is no
worthy substitute for sleep. Indeed. 1t
had seemed tn make the need for sleep
even more imperative.
II was all TOO hum liatting. She wanted
10 think over what had been: to recall II
as FAR as possible so as to fix IL III her
mind while il still fresh. Later on
some action might have to be based on
her recollection. And yet How
could she think when she was so tired
- tired -.
Nature came 10 he poor & rls relief al
last and she fell into heavy sleep
II was like coming out of the grave to
he dragged back to waking life out OF
such sleep. and so soon after 1t had be-
gun But the voice seemed to reach 10
her inner consciousness in some com
pelling way. For a second she could not
underSi and. but she rose from the
cushlons the maids message repeated
brought her wide awake and alert III an
instant.