The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1908-07-24

Peter. Get Judge Rhadamanthus on
h phone"
the Ely's and Fields" explained the
Editor, land what he doesn't know
about people isn't worth printing. Be
sides. he's always willing to talk for
publication. Now be off With you,"
and he returned once more to his
task of making one stick of joke fill
two sticks OF space.
81 declare" exclaimed Rhadaman-
thus. glancing ~nervously up at me over
his spectacles as l slipped past the
doorkeeper and nudged his elbow.
There's no keeping you women out
of this court room. Your curiosity is
something colossal"
Now. your honor" 1 interrupted
swectly, laying my hand gently on his
coat sleeve, II didn't come to see the
court room. l came to see rot The
Daily Fidget wants to know why there
is no marrying in heaven, and why
"One question at a time! One ques-
ton at a time!" cried Rhadamanthus
testify. There is no marriage in
heaven, my dear young lady he con-
tinued gravely in his big BASE voice.
because there is no heaven in mar
riage."
withdrew my hand from his sleeve
and looked at the Judge coldly.
hat an epigram," said yery
reproachfully.
rs it," His honor looked delighted
1T the accusation. "Ah, WELL" he con-
tinued. thawing visibly. ito be serious.
then. of course there is no marriage in
~heaven-just as there are no %janitors
and no smallpox and no firecrackers
and no automobiles and no murderers
IN the first degree and no mosquitoes.
Elysium. my dear child, is the head
quarters of happiness"
Not" L retorted, akinE a seat be-
Side his desk and getting out my note
book. eff 1t is the headquarters of old
maids and old bachelors. They're the
most unhappy people in the world"
Il didn't say" returned Rhadaman-
thus. impatiently. that there We're no
married people in heaven. They all
come here
"WhyY" I inquired, dropping my
pencil in surprise. "Because-they-
need the rest?'
No; because they deserve it," re-
Joined his honor, decisively.
OH" l picked up my pencil and wet
1t thoughtfully. But don't they ever
meet one OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES and wives.
I mean?"
Rhadamanthus chuckled.
Very seldom" he answered, with a
grin, IF they see each other first, and
then only in the most formal manner
as they would in other peoples par
lors or at an afternoon tea or q theater
party. There is none of that sweet
intimacy here that breeds contempt.
and interference and quarrels and di-
Vorces. Every q here has his own
chiffonier drawer. his private latchkey,
the right to open his letters first, the
last word If he likes it. the right to
part his hair on either side or both if
he wants to. the right to put his feet
on the iva and smoke all over the
house, to come in without being ques
n and to go out as often and for
as long as he likes, to wear a red
necktie and spotted socks and use any
form of grammar that comes easiest
with as many as four negatives in a
sentence and Rhadamanthus brought
his fist down firmly on his desk.
That" I said Indignantly, doesn't
leave a woman any rights at ALL" and
I closed my notebook with a snap.
Wait a moment" cried Rhadaman-
thus a%nxiously. Il don't var any one-
sided statements published on this
matter. Every woman in Elysium has
the right to take her breakfast in bed,
indulge in a headache as often as she
finds it convenient, wear curl papers
round the house all morning. fill an
many closets as she needs with her
clothes. eat deadly looking %bonbons in
stead of regular meals. begin a novel
at the last chapter, pe.oXide her lair,
powder her nose, n wear a dress with
two rows of buttons up the ~back-and
no criticisms allowed"