Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-15
Fighting a Family.

Capt. Williams of the first precinct.
when. asked what adventures he has met
with in his police experience. answered:
None; I'm just a plain man. you see.
No adventures, no excitement, nothing I'M
usual. l just do my work"
Several days ago the captain was sitting
out in front of his precinct station house.
A plaintive voice Interrupted the captain
as he told of his lack of adventure 1t
said:
''OIl, say. chuck that and tell about the
time whole family jumped you on Mary
land avenue
The captain blushed.
All, yes" he murmured. thoughtfully.
that was bad family Well. that is
n rather interesting story. although it
is much in the ordinary run of a po-
HcemanS life. You see, this family
was known in Washington ten years
ago as most disorderly, pugnaciOus and
generally dangerous Its members were
the bugbears of the police. They were the
constantly pursuing phantoms that
awoke the policeman at night and
scared him to death in the day time
They would fight on the slightest
provocation and they would all fight
together. That was the worst of it,
You had to arrest the whole family be-
fore you could get the man you were
originally after.
One dark and stormy night | ambled
henceward To the domiclle OF this family.
arrest of the youngest and most pugna
cious scion of this illustrious house.
Il entered the doorway and that is
as far as | got. The youngster WAS
coming out as | was going in. When /
told him he was under arrest il seemed
to irrltate him. He reached for a club
and started to prod my helmet. be-
ginning with the edges and gradually
working upward. Satisfied as | was
that he was becoming aggravated. 4
started to calm him with my night stick
when his father and four brothers Joined
i'm the argument. j explained that they
were interfering with the law in the per-
Torrance of its duty. but they told me
brutally that they didn't give whoop
in Gehenna for the law or anything like
il. 1t seemed 10 me that they We're tell
ing the truth.
Just as | had my prisoner pacitied and
was hauling him away three more broth
ers, a cousin and Two uncles Joined in the
circus. and the whole gang started 10
maui me.
His daddy slammed me with a pop
bottle and biffed me with "A club when /
told him that thai was no way to treat d
gentleman. | tried To make my prisoner
run. but lac wouldn't Meantime the riot
went nerrily on. the seven brothers. the
father. the cousin and the two uncies
fairly begging each other for the privilege
of delivering the next crack.
Il went down twice before / gave up.
Then | saw the reserves coming and
something snapped in my head and /
went to sleep. When / awakened they
told me | had been III bed week and
nv head had been hammered so out OF
shape that it would never look natural
again
1.-The reserves got most of the family
and we had quite a reunion in the Police
Court when | was able TO walk again.
Somebody once said that a house divided
against itself will surely fall. Maybe IL
will For my part I'd d lot rather have
the house divided against itself than ce-
mented by fond bonds of friendship and
unanimously Of the opinion that il should
kill a policeman who is leading It's pride
and low To the station house.