Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-01
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canderbone's March Forecast
The ides of March will come again.

the whiskerlets of Mr.. Hughes will
float upon the breeze, the fleet that
sailed Magellan's straits will cruise the
western seas; the infant boom of Cor
telyou will grimly yield the ghost, and
the fleet will run the banquets on the
other Latin coast.
Another lot of foreign counts and
busted sports and old will come across
to marry more of our dead easy gold;
a count will marry million cool, and
O discount two or three and gold and
girl (and horse laugh loud) they'll all
put out to sea; and while the Goulds
give Boni one-just one-more chance,
alack, we'Tl all steal off and kick our
selves quite low down on the back.
The country papers will get used
To Uncle SANS mandate
That they may not hold readers who
Are not paid up to date:
But the government will not assist
At squaring things. somehow.
With old subscribers made so mad
They never will pay now.
March was the first month of the
Roman year, and was named from
Mars. the god of war. Mars looked
like a twin brother to Richmond T.
Hobson, and he was the regular Roman
delegate to the peace conference at
The Hague. He was supposed to be
the father of Romulus, the founder of
Rome, but he was not; he was only
the young mans godfather. In an
cient warfare it was customary to
place good bronze bust of Mars on
the field and en- fight for it.
The comedy of life will be about
what it has been-the men will labor
day and night. and the wives of men
viii spin. They'll have a club for
every day. and never cease to go;
they'll learn to talk of many themes
their husbands do not know; they'll
hear a lecturer from Greece, another
on Japan, another on the Renaissance,
and several on man; they'll hire lot
of long haired freaks to make them
erudite, they'll work on papers every
morn, and look up things at night;
and their husbands will get supper
cold and suffer ridicule-and the chill
dren will grow up like wolves, while
Mamma goes to school.
The money indiscreetly loaned
win faithfully keep Lent.
And lady teacher will sit on
The pin when 1t is BENT
But when the principal responds
To screams heard throughout the house,
She'll not tell him what happened. but
VIII say she a mouse.
Until the 21st March will be under
the influence Of the zodiacal sign
known as Pisces. the fish. Pisces will
induce his relative, Stuyvesant Fish,
to take the Illinois Central fight into
the United States supreme court,
where E. H. Hartman will be ditched
with two bum lamps, a derailed back
bone and a swift kick in the caboose.
After the 21st March will be under
the influence of Aries, the sign of the
head. Under this sign old heads will
come to the front in the presidential
race, and Uncle Joe Cannon will come
out of last place and make the presi-
dent put two more burrs in the spa
cious bosom of Mr.. Tafts pants.
Persons torn under Pisces drink like
a fish and vote wet. They make ex-
cellent subordinates, like Friday and
Loeb. They can say no, and it is
futile to expose them to any more life
insurance, for they won't take it. They
are very cautious and always take
seats near the fire escape.
Persons born under Aries always
think before speaking, and they never
say anything. They are good organiz-
ers and generally belong to the Anti
saloon league. They make good law
yers and generally get the case con-
tinued until they can elect the prose-
cutting attorney.
The vernal exquinox will come.
And the Irish will parade;
The booming bullfrog will resume
His music In the glade.