davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21
FISES1AE
g 2doENi4vR

Bacon-"Is that a popular song
Tt was before she began playing
it."-Yonkers Statesman.
We've shorted up our words few, q
The scheme is far from twaddle;
Progressive young folks say "skiddoo."
Our grandsires said "skedaddle"
Detroit News.
He-"Everything in this house
looks run down." She-"But, dear,
you haven't seen the bills this
month!"-Detroit Free Press.
Rantington-"Fro wanted to
present me this season." Manager
(Frostville Opera Housed
Couldn't you make yourself present.
?"-Puck.
The Western Senator had pur-
chased home in the East. do you
intend to abandon your State?' he
was asked. Not at ALL" he replied.
81 need it for purposes of mileage"
philadelphia Public Ledger.
Professional Humorist - "wit
should never seem forced. Now, 1
never try to be funny" His Visa
Vis-"Oh, but you should. Mr..
Woodshine. One never knows what
one can do till one tries. Puck.
The Wears Wife-"Im sorry to
see you're not paying into our coal
club this year, Goodenough." Good
enough - We'll. mum. you see
well. it's like this ere. lives right
behind the coal yard now!''-Punch.
You keep a cook. of course,
madam" said the polite agent, who
was trying to sell a new kitchen
utensil. mo, l don't" snapped the
woman. THE best / can do is to
give one employment. Cleveland
Press. q
Full many sport of fame in other days
The verdant meadows and the corn6eids
Full many baseball hero gathers in
Your nickel when you take street-car
ride.
Cleveland Press.
81 can't see anything of special In
terest in that manuscript of yours"
said the publisher to the aspiring au-
thor. II didn't anticipate that you
would" replied the author But
thought possibly your readers might
have more intelligence. Milwaukee
Sentinel.
His Resolve. when you first
entered politics" said the young man
who is looking for knowledge, did
you get out with the determination
to win at any COST" NO" an
swered Sorghum, IL set out with the
determination to win at as little ex-
pense as possible. Waghington
Star.
"Yis. ma am" said Bridget. III
be lavin' We. don't like that snip
Of dude that does be calm on Miss
Mabel" THE ideal" exclaimed her
mistress. He doesn't call to see
you, so what" II know he
don't, ma am. but I'm afraid some
o. the neighbors might think he
does. philadelphia Press.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21
A Dream of Power.

When the dream of women ad-
vanced in thought and trained by ex-
perience enough to realize the value
of cooperation shall come true, some
of the greatest curses of modern
times shall be swept away, and
the country will be happy in
possession of a prosperous, middle
class, sans monopolies, sans trusts,
sans sweaters and sweated, sans the
great unemployed. If not the unem-
playable. And all this revolution
might be quietly effected by women
acting intelligently from their own
homes. Woman.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21
To Make College Flags.

College flags are quite simple. but
require care and much precision in
putting the letters or as we'll as in
cutting them.
A good plan is to cut your letters
from stiff cardboard and trace around
them on the felt, afterward cutting
with sharp knife.
In mounting these on the felt back
ground paste them on with a very
thin coating of photograph paste and
couch around all edges with many
strands of silk caught down at regu-
lar intervals with a single strand of
the same color.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21
G8T5l IS as I
oEA82 NEWEST
Nv.N FASHIONS
<SX.oX 4 Xxx. 4 4

one sees many Norfolk jackets
with the morning suits.
A graceful girl never looks better
than in a well-cut suit.
The blouse may be buttoned
through aud through" or a "Ay"
used. as on the blo0mers.
A Jumper waist OF heavy all-over
lace laid upon velvet is worn as usual
over the thinnest kind of blouse.
Black broadtail with wide bands
Of white cloth makes particularly
stunning coat for a stately woman.
Jeweled bands outlining the short
gathered bodice OF Empire evening
gowns are most resplendent under
artificial light.
The outer belt may be of elastic
betting. braid or silk to match the tie.
a stitched band of the material is
also pretty.
The tie may go all around under
the collar. being tied fresh each time,
or It may be cut in half, tied I'm sail.
or knot aud sewed at one side.
Alternate rufies of cloth and
Grape extend from n point several
inches above the knees to the foot of
the long sweep on a stylish morning
gown.
Natty suits Of tweed are severely
plain, with short squarc-cut pony
coats ombelllshed spanngly with SILK
braid, just the thing for the tailor.
made girl.
TO increase the decorative effect OF
rufIle for lingerie, with the least
amount Of labor embroider wreaths
or little sprays at intervals and inset
strips Of lace betweeps
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21
Well-Kept Clothes,

No matter how well made n thing
is it soon takes on shabby look
unless it is given the right sort of
care.
Many woman who thinks she
takes care of her clothes, takes a
dress off, flinging the skirt careless
ly over the back of a chair, and leav-
ing 1t there for several hours, per-
haps to take on ugly creases.
Perhaps to send your things to a
tailor every little while is too much
of strain financially. Be your own
tailor, then, so far as pressing and
cleaning and the rest of it goes.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21
When Sirens Bore.

Keen sportsmen at shoot are apt
to be not little impatient of the
woman who talks and filters at the
wrong moment, wears a red cloak,
points her gun at shooters, heaters
and birds with careless insouciance,
and makes incessant claims on their
attention and assistance. She may
be siren at home in tea gown, but
is safe to be voted bore and n duff
fer when she tries her hand at the
business of sport.-Ladies' Field.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21
Try to Look Dainty.

Don't fail to look dainty. 1t is the
most expressive word which can be
applied to a woman.
A woman may be stylish, we'll
dressed, good looking and lots of
other things without any consider
able expense, but to live up to the
requirements of dainty" means
something more.
1t means absolute freshness of
neckties. gloves, etc, and can be
achieved by the woman or girl of av-
erage means if she will have a weekly
wash of muslins, laces, gloves, etc.,
herself.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21
Womcn's Kisses.

With real friends an affectionate
kiss now and then is all very well,
but why should ones nice. fresh
cheeks be annoyed by the promiscu-
Gus OSCILLATION of crowd of girls and
women? And the worst of it is that
they only do it because they think 1t
civil, not because they like 1.-THE
Throne.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21

A lawyer from one Of the interior
counties of Pennsylvania went TO
Philadelphia on some professional
business. When he returned he told
his neighbors about it. 'I stopped
at one OF them taverns," he said,
"and they charged me SO a day for
my room and meals Just think Of
that; SO a day. But 7 got good and
even with them. I ate oysters three
times a day"
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21
WHOLE NO. 1915.
SONG OF THE MUSKRAT.

De oil muskrat am sleek en- fat,
His meat am in it's prime;
oh, watch him swim ct de riveh rim
When dc red moon staht TO climb.
He sniff Diet trap, de trigger snap,
All heah do doah go slam;
En- All ketch Diet sinnah fob to-morrow's
dinnch-
His meat am sweet es ham.
Remus Tub his 'possum.
All baked wild yellah yam;
But mus'rat meat
So fat en- sweet
Am good enuf fob Sam.
De Cunnel say when he cum nah way,
TO cook Diet things a crime:
Aid rutheh eat balm rats meat
Den mus'rat eny time"
Aunt Chloe smile en- afteh while
She sens a dish so sweet
De Cunnel chew each rich slice fro
En- think cts chicken meat.
Remus hub his 'possum,
All baked wild yellah yam;
But mus'rat meat
So fat en- sweet
Am good enuf fob Sam.
Puck.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21

What is this? The years have hastened,
and man, grown stout and gray,
Steps across the rounded threshold after
many n homesick day.
Tailored cloth in place of gingham, careful
clip for mothers art
Change the outward mans appearance, but
they cannot change his heart.
10 hopeful beat it quickens as he pauses
in the door
Scarcely has a feature altered in the we'll
remembered store.
Now he knows another reason, as he gazes
up and down,
Why they say God made the country while
His children made the town.
Quiet life has brought these neighbors to
an age of placid grace,
And seaman, scarcely younger, drones
along In Abels place
In this Old Home Week the townsman.
back to haunts he used to know.
Wonders how he could have left them.
since they grip his heart-strings so;
And among the kindly faces and the
quaint, piled stock of yore,
lie is still a wee farm-urchin, come with
father to the store
-Jeannie Pendleton Ewing, in Youth
Companion.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21
j. II. Waldo & Co.'S.
LIVERY AND FEED STABLE,
cRANTsVILLE, W. VA.

Keeps constantly on handt Balsd
Hay, Chop. etc, 81 reasonable fatee.
Can supply you with . horse single
horse buggy, two-horse buggy or syiP.
reg, with or without driver, tor short
or long trip, on shorS notice end ~
reasonable prices.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21

Refrigeratogs are for the first time
coming into general use in France.
The patterns being sold are OF the
style used In the United States 8fty
years ago.
The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-04-21

this working-day.
Wistfully he eyes the roadside, where the
1890, waiting horses stamp,
Ill the gait OF fathers penny rubs again
Aladdin's lamp,
For within one ancient showcase bristle,
bright as precious ORE
Yellow, stick and crimson iozenge-quite
the treasures of the store.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-10-14
'LaraestRock crusher.

The extended use of concrete has Gre
ated Il demand for rock crushers of
great size anl capacity. and the very
largest thing in this line has been re-
Gently ms IA at Columbus, o. This
machine Stands twenty-five feet high,
measures Fourteen feet across the top
shell and wc".'is approximately 100000
pounds. 1t las a minimum feed open
ing between the crushing surfaces Of
thirty-siN inches and is supplied with
two dischargr openings through which
the crushed product leaves the ma
chine. differing in this respect from the
smaller breakers. which usually have
but one opening. This arrangement
makes 1t possible to build the machine
lower, thus making it more stable and
at the same time obtaining a better
angle for the discharge.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-10-14
The Hair

A single hair. which a support a
weight of two punches, Is so elastic
that it may be stretched to one-third OF
its entire length and then regain its for
mel size and condition. DR.. Pincus
has measured the growth Of hair by
cutting of circles about one inch in
diameter from the heads of healthy
men and SC comparing the growth of
the patches with that Of the rest of the
hair. He found that the growth rate
generally became slower after cutting;
that in m cases the hair Oh the
patches grew at the same rate as the
rest, but that it never grew any faster.
The ordinary length Of the hair on
the head ranges between twenty-five
inches and about forty-five inches. the
latter being considered unusually long.
London Standard.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-10-14
A NEW ORANGE TREE.
e~otanists Hope to ~"lnvent" One Thai
Will Grow In the North.

VV"u 0tV" W. ~ WI ~
Botanists in the employ of the Unit
ell States department Of agriculture
hope to bring into being an orange
tree which will be as sturdy as the ap-
pie tree, an orange tree that will not
perish in the chill of northern winter,
which in December will wear its
wreath OF snow and in May its gar
lands of bloom and when summer
will yield fruit rs good as that
sweetened in the southern sun.
This may seem to be an unnatural
proposition, but it only seems so. No
violence upon the laws of nature has
been or will be attempted. 1t is sim
ply an effort to make the citrus tree
which bears the sweet table orange
as hardy and insensible to cold as the
citrus tree which bears the bitter, un.
edible orange. By crossing the citrus
tree Of the north and that of the south
it is sought to beget a plant in which
will be combined the good traits Of
each.
Government botanists are confident
that the results of this citrus marriage
will be a scion that will grow and
fruit at a latitude midway between
the northern limits Of the swest and
bitter orange.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-10-14
PriMT-nS'. BlUNUERS.
Comic Eit-t'7 frequent In the Days
Wh,n - ..opy Wa the Rule.

Comic G4.-t5 frequent IN the Jays
Wh.n - .,opy Mas the Rule.
Typcg". ,.>.;! errors that produced
weird or co. i,..i ~,.fectS are described
by the St. L.. lis Acl ublic in az article
recalling the Gays when all of that
newspapers type was set by hand. be-
fore the introduction of typesetting
machines. when the copy, instead Of
being typewritten. was turned over to
the printer in an infinite variety of
good. bad and Indifferent chirography.
Comparatively few of the errors
were allowed to contribute to the gay
ETY. of the subscribers, as the majority
were squelched in the "house Of cor
rection," as the proofroom was face
tiously termed. From a collection
made by a proofreader the following
instances of ridiculous misleading of
copy are taken:
His blushing BRIDE was tran
formed into Ibis clustering BRIDE"
A captain was said to have SERVED
with destruction in the Confederate
army" but the writer thought he
wrote distinction"
Two pictures entitled The Galley
Slave and Each In Their Turn"
We're referred to as 1.-The Galley I
Love" and 'Enoch In Shin Town."
Having in mind the influence Of
former citizens Of the land Of the
shamrock upon the political destinies
Of the town. what more natural than
that the printer man should set up an
Irish district court" where 1t had
been the first district court?"
Professor Frank Gecks was men.
toned as having rendered violent Sc
lections' rather than violin selec-
TONS"
Somebody was quoted as saying that
''all the singing folks on the vaudeville
stage have hundreds Of wives,'' but
the copy, when carefully examined,
was found to read Husbands or
wives" and ii sensation in the the
atrical world was averted.
They sailed for three days around
the cape and finally slaughtered q
small Italian" was corrected to read
sighted a small island"
On one occasion the reporter wrote
Of certain ''dwarfed and hungered chill.
dren," who We're made to appear per-
haps more pathetic when the compost.
tor substituted the words 'doorfed and
hagyard."
"Iie takes delight in talking on his
family shame" was a shameful thing
to say about him. for "favorite theme
was meant.
RED Cross Society Will Fight Cor.
bett' was the way the typesetter trans
formed the copy concerning a crusade
against cholera.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-10-14
FISH suPERsTIrIoNs.
oseer Old Time Notions Some Of
Which Still Survive.

The one fish medicine of which mod
liver oil, and this. though in far less
nauseous form than formerly, is swat
lowed in tons every year.
In old days Il much wider use was
made of fish as cures for various evils,
and solne Of these practices have SUI
vived to the present day. Some little
time ago Il boy died of epilepsy in a
north Wales parish. The doctor, called
In too late, inquired if the deceased had
been given any medicine. "Oh, YES"
was the answer. I'VE caught a trout,
drowned it in new milk and gave 1t to
the boy"
Eels are supposed to possess all kinds
cine a powder made Of eels' liver was
considered an absolute specific for deaf.
ness and was also employed in cases Of
ague or fever. A decoction Of eels' fat
is still used by Dutch peasants as q
remedy for falling hair.
But the most valuable part of the eel
according to popular supe rstition, is its
skin. Many an old far mer wears q
belt of eelskin as a preventive agains'
rheumatism, and some believe that 9
garter made of the skin of this snake.
like fish worn next to the human skin
as Il preventive not only against rheu.
matism, but also against sprains Of
similar injuries.
Another cure for rheumatism, which
finds favor with salt water fishermen
is a red herring. The herring being the
most plentiful Of all the sea fish, 9
number of superstitions have attached
themselves to it. For luck through the
ensuing year II must be sure to ca,
a herring on New Years day.
Fishermen believe that each shoal il
headed by a king herring, which l:
more than double as large as any Of it,
followers. They believe that when one
of the Kings comes up in the net i
should be thrown overboard; otherwise
the next days fishing will be u failure
-Pittsburg GaZette-Times.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-10-14
ALIAS SUM MONS.

In the district court of the Twelfth judicial dis.
trict of the State of Montana, in and for the
county of Chouteau.
Annabelle Olive Furlong, plaintiff, VS.. John
W. Furlong, defendant.
The State of Montana sends greetings to the
above-named defendant.
You are hereby summoned to answer the com.
plant in this action which is filed In the Office of
the clerk of this court, q copy OF which IL here.
with served upon you in the county wherein you
reside, and to file your answer and serve q
copy thereof upon the plaintiffs attorney
within twenty C@) days after the service of
this summons. exclusive of the day of service,
and in case of your failure to appear or answer
Judgment will be taken against you for the re-
lief demanded in the complaint.
This action ia brought for the purpose of &C.
curing a decree of this court granting a divorce,
upon the grounds that on or about the 2sth day
of September, A.. d. 1905, In the city of Havre,
state of Montana, the said defendant, disregard
ing the marriage VOWS, deserted and abandoned
said plaintiff, and ever since has, and still con-
tinues to, wilfully and without cause desert and
abandon said plaintiff and to live separate and
apart from her, against her will and without her
consent: that they have not cohabited in any
manner since the 2Sth day of September, A. ID.
1908, and that plaintiff be permitted to resume
her maiden name Of .Annabelle Olive BfOckman,
and for such other relief a. to the court may
seem just.
Witness my hand and the seal of said
ar ,court this oath day of September, \. ID.
Clerk.
F. A Carnal, attorney for plaintiff.
First publication, September -, lMFe.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-10-14
AN HONEST ARTIST.
He Would Not Paint a Lie Even For
a Madison,

There was no love lost between the
Emperor Louis Napoleon and his
cousin, Prince Napoleon, whom the
Parisians called "Plon Plon." The
prince used to make abusive speeches
against the emperor, which people
We're only too ready to repeat to him.
LET him alone" Louis Napoleon would
reply. "IIe is too well known. No
one would turn me NJ to place him on
the throne"
The emperor was correct. for no II
said Il good word about ''pion Plon."
He was commonly believed to have
shown the white feather in the Crimea
and exposed himself where the
lead was falling An English lady
who IN her younger days mingled with
French soci",y tells in her Foreign
Courts and |orp!gn Homes" Il story
as discrcditahlc to Prince Napoleon as
1t is honorn''lH to Il French artist.
While the artist was painting the
historical picture of the battle of the
Alma. which the emperor had ordered.
Prince Napoleon called at the painters
studio to make known to him the facts.
On leaving he said he wished the
prominent figure in the battle to be
himself mounted on his white charger.
He sent the horse to the artist, so that
he could paint its exact portrait.
When the picture was finished and In
vitations We're sent out for q ''private
view" the white charger was seen, a
prominent figure in the battle. but
without a rider.
On hearing of this terrible omission
the prince sent an aid-de-camp to ask
the reason. The honest artist said the
horse should remain If the prince
wished, but no rider would be on it.
Tell the prince l have never yet
painted a lie." The hint was taken.
The prince ordered the horse to be
rubbed out
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-10-14
Laborer's Good Luck.

A laborer named Christensen, who
lives at Copenhagen, bought an old
overcoat for Il few cents two years ago.
He recently noticed something hard in
the lining Mt the back and on regret
ings bank book with $2,230 credited. He
reported the treasure to the police, but
they have not been able to find the
original owner, and the money has
been awarded to the laborer.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-10-14
Il HEADS MAN..
He Used the Sword and Not the Ak
Prior to 1883.

~ ~ ~SSS'S AIN wv Nv m
Prior to 1883.
l am inclined to think that prior to
1883 the sword and not the Ak was
usually employed as the weapon for
judicial decapitation and that n block
was dispensed with, the victims receiv-
ing their doom "meekly kneeling upon
their knees and in this opinion I am
fortified by the concurrence of an emf
nent clerical historian. This learned
writer agreed with me that the aX did
not become the "regulation' lethal i'm
plement until after the rough and ready
heading" Of Lord Hastings on the
Tower green. when he was summarily
dispatched by order of the protector.
Gloucester.
In this instance, according to the
chroniclers, the victims neck was
stretched upon a piece Of timber then
in use for the repair Of the adjacent
church of st. Peter ad Vincula, prob
ably a "putlog." part of the scaffolding
which, we read, conveniently lay in
the way" Contemporary accounts
seem to indicate that the executioner
straddled over the prone body, and
from this position l infer that the de-
capitation was effected by the tool
known us an adj, the cutting edge of
which IS at n right angle to and not III
a plane with the haft.
l may add that the only contempt
rary reference I have come across Of
the use or proposed use of al AK and
block for intlicting capital punishment
prior to this tragedy Is in n Of the
Pastor series of letters describing the
peril of an unfortunate captive of Jack
Cadets rebels ca. D. 1850, a generation
before Lord Hastings was so clumsily
hacked to death.-London Notes and
Queries.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-10-14
Beetles.

The Rev. Theodore Wood, a we'll
known English authority on beetles,
makes an interesting observation on a
little beetle found frequently In the
flowers Of the primrose, but nowhere
else, which is quite 4 mystery. 1t Is
small, brown and fiat, and Mr.. Wood
remarks Of it.: How its life Is lived
nobody knows. Where its eggs are
laid. what the grubs feed upon, where
the chrysalis be hidden, nobody knows.
Nobody knows even why the perfect
beetle gets into the primrose blossom"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-10-14
Novel Little Device For Hotels.

Guests at the Hotel Astor in New
York when they see a small electric
bulb near the telephone in their rooms
light up know that there is Il letter for
them III their mail box in the Office. In
each mail box there is a copper Zap
that Is pushed back when a letter is
put in the pi-eonhole, and the flap COM
pletes the circuit that lights the small
electric lamp in the guests room. The
device is the invention Of Fred A.
Muschenheim. brother of the proprie-
tor of the hotel.