Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-07-21

eOuldn't lib dat way. He'd have to 9u.
3 boss wild It's tail bobbed on shor
and q keFTidge wild rubber tires anCI
Den hire somebody 10 drive him about
He'd have 10 stop eatin' wild his knife
use napkins 70 wipe his mouf, and he'c
have to have 30 many hired gals in de
house dat dey'd fall over each odder
Inside Of q month bed have to learn t.
play bridge whist and wear plug hat
and wIdin six months he be a human
wreck. He couldn't stand de pace
When de bills cum in from de grocer
and butcher he'd be knocked silly.
some Of you seem to emagine da'
ell rich man does am to walk around
wild a cane and feel glad dat he an
rich. You see him ridin' out, and yoI
envy him You see him In de front.
pew at church. and you begrudge him
You hear OF him bein' de big 1T at o
meetin', and you abuse Providence be
kase you are pere. You see his wife
paradin' up and down Fifth avenue
and you want to throw bomb at her.
Trying to Figure Out Graft.
my frens. don't you make no mis-
take on dat rich man. While he an
ridin' out he am tryin' to fgger Out
how much graft de coachman and feed
man and harness maker have made
out OF him In de last month, and de-
total makes him so mad dat he can't
enjoy de ride a bit. While he am IL
church tryin' to look as IL he owned
de hull blzness and had a suah thing
on de future he am fggerin' on how
much he has giben 1t de last year and
how much he will have to come down
de next. His wife is smilin' of how de
butler, de housekeeper, de cook, de
parlor maids, de coachman and de rest
of de twenty-four servants at home am
hOgging down de vlttles and de wines
and playin' baseball wild de rugs and
vases.
II once knowed and envied q rich
man. When saw him swellin' around
felt mad nun to bust When | had
to sit down to mush and milk and cold
water for dinner and knowed dat he
had fried oysters and champagne my
Fellgun almost few outer de back doah
1t appeared to me dat things was all
wrong and dat de only way to right
'em was to burn his house.
"One day when was workin' In de
garden and feelin' de bitterness mo-
dan usual dis rich man cum along and
walked in on me. He was loakin' trub.
bled. and dar was tears in his eyes.
He axed me for a raw turnip to eat
he wanted to taste somethin' good and
healthy ag'in. He axed me for drink
of plain cold water. He wanted to git
de taste Of champagne outer his mouf.
When told him how envied him he
sot down and drawed out a sort of
war map to prove to me dat shouldn't.
"Dat rich man had indigestion.
"He owned TO- bosses, and dey was
ali sick In de stables.
''He had millyon dollars in bonds,
and dem bonds had gone down one
half.
He had eighteen servants. and dey
was smashln' up $500 wuth of crock
cry a week.
He owned big house, but de city
was raisin' his taxes cherry year.
He had wife, but she was on de
CAD so much dat he hadn't seen her for
de last three weeks.
HE had church pew, but was pay
In double rent on It.
HE had silver plate, but was
afeared of burglars all de time.
He had big mirrors in his house.
but dey only showed him de wrinkles
and de gray hairs.
He had a butler. but de butler or
dered him around.
HE had chef. but de chef wouldn't
make him pumpkin pies.
"And so It went from top to bottom,
and when de man had gone to his
palace l stood and looked at
my humble cabin and felt all de envy
so out Of my heart. and nebber have
felt spec of 1t since.
my frens. drop it. Cut 1t out. Blow
It away. Oars nuthin' In 1t. De pore
man who am sighin' to be rich am
simply wishin' dat he could trade of