The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1908-11-05


lived only three months after our mar
riage. Old Jenkins-Ahem As long
as that mum Judge.
The Husband (durng the quarreI)- -
You're always making bargains. Was
there ever time when you didn'tg The
wife-Yes. sir; On my wedding day.
she-Why are artists always 80 care
full to sign their paintingss He-To
indicate which is the top and which is
the bottom Of the plcture.-The Sphinx.
Il suppose you know why you are
heref' asked the judge severely. "Yes.
sir" answered the prisoner. Il wuz
drug here. Birmingham Age Herald.
rs this section prosperousy' You
bet Il is" answered the Kansas farmer.
Il kin spread net any time and snake
a grand piano out Of cyclone. Pitts
burg Post
Poor Tom. Il cost him a terrible lot
to give up his sweetheart" '.Then why
did hef" Because IL would have cost
him great deal more II he hadn't
The Taller.
Lecturlng Philanthropist (bome from
China You know, my dear people.
the prisons there are not the sort OF
places to which you and / are accus-
.Omed.-Puck
Railway Conductor there room in
there for this MANI Young Men in
Compartment-Imp Just about
room enough for the two ladies.-Flie-
gende Blaetter.
do you consider your nerve is SUN
eientiy steady TO ut you for an airship
NAVIGATOR well. I've been out Ia a
canoe with a nervous fat girI."-cleve-
Land Plain Dealer.
Every man is the architect OF his
own fortune quoted the Wise Guy.
Yes. but he wants TO keep solid with
the building inspectors" added the
Simple ug.-Philadelphia Record
saDleigh-A bwick fell from a build
ing two yeahs ago and knocked me
senseless. Miss CaustiQue- Indeed /.
And does your physician think you viii
ever set over its-chicago Daily News.
Her Husband-If a man steals. no
matter what IL is. be viii live TO regret
H. His Wife-During our courtship
you used 10 steal kisses from me. Her
uusband-well. you heard what / said
wife-what lucks Husband None
whatever. Wife-were there no ser
wants az the intelligence oInoes Hus-
band-Yes. lots Of them. but they had
all worked for US before.-Sa Saturday
sunset.
Have you ever been crossexamIned
beforeg' inquired barrlster OF a wit
hess who was occupying his attention.
Have r." exclaimed the man. Didn't
just tell you / am msrrledi~-Stray
Stories
Magistrate (sternly) Didn't tell
you the last time you were here I new
er wanted you to come before me
agains Prlsoner-Yes. sir: but
couldn't make the police believe it,
rit-Bits.
Hotel Proprietor-Sir. you cannot
leave this hotel until you pay your bill.
Mr.. o. A. Lott-Ah, at last have found
a man generous enough TO grant me the
one thing have always desired-a per
uanent home
should n man go to college after
fiftyf" well. be might pass muster
at tennis" answered the expert. But
a man can't expect to do much In base
bali or football at that age.--Louis-
vile Courier Journal.
Il fell out OF the window OF my fat
yesterday" "And you are on the fourth
floor. That was terrible" Yes: l
don't know how TO face the janltor. I'm
sure I've violated some clause In my
lease. "-washington Herald.
your husband says he works like a
dog said one woman. "Yes. it's very
SIMILAR" answered the other. HE
comes In with muddy feet. makes him.
self comfortable by the fire. aud waits
10 be fed. "-washington Star.
Il always hate to pass an ice cream
saloon when I'm walking with my girl"
i've never happened to pass one when
was out with my girl" That's
strange How do you manage ~" Il
ion't manage It: she does. She always
insists on going in"
The little daughter OF a homeopathic
MUSICIAN received ring with a pearl |
n Il on the Christmas tree Two days
alter she poked her head tearfully in
It the door Of her fathers Office.
Papa" she sobbed. papa. I've lost
he little pill out Of my ring
guess pa must have passed a lot
Il time at the dentists when he was
n New York" said Johnny Green.
why do you think so?" queried his
ma. "'Cause heard him tell man
o-day that Il cost him nearly $500 to
,et his eye-tooth cut. replied Johnny
Chicago News.