davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

UT HEN a neighbor commentator,
w although not exactly in so many
words, yet effectively, if we put
two and two together in the statement
under review, says that the crying
need of coast defenses and fortifica-
tions and forces to man them. is more
urgent than the need for the develop
ment of San Pedro harbor, let us ask
whether there is any need more urgent
than that of the fullest development
OF the harbor that in time of war would
be all important. both from a strategic
point of view and as supply depot!
IT is to be hoped that the great fleet
that is on the way to visit us will not
find the Oriental call so urgent that
it will not take time to try for itself
and prove the value and merit and
national Importance of the San PEDRO
anchorage. We hope it will show the
world that at San Pedro powerful
fleet, prepared for war, may ride in
safety, and, safely protected from ten-
pest and tide, may await the call OF
duty. In view of the undeniable I'M
easiness in the Orient, we may share
with the other English speaking ma
tionalities of the Pacific the feeling of
relief that comes with the arrival OF
our glorious guardians, to sweep
through the deep, while the stormy
winds do blow" or the fairy breezes
fan the purling waves. Australia is
coaxing the fleet to her coasts with
offers of royal welcome. We don't
begrudge the cousins of the antipodes
their share in one of the common
,glories of the English speaking race
but the use of the fleet, like charity,
begins at home, and while we might
detail a ship or two to prevent de-
scent of the northern islanders upon
the islanders of the southern seas, we
think it is the duty of old ]. Bull tc
protect his colonials and guard the
coasts of the brave men who came
to his rescue in the nick of time and
whipped his now great and good
friends, the Beers.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
SOCIALISTS OF PRUSSIA
ASK FOR MANHOOD SUFFRAGE

taxpayer is the tenant, not the land
lord, for the latter RECEIVERS his taxes
in the form of rent. In like manner
the consumer pays the taxes collected
from the merchant. who RECEIVERS them
in the form of prices.
1t is a paradox, but true, that no
class of citizens, in proportion to their
income, pay so large a share of the
taxes as those who are either not as
sessed at all or whose property is
small. 1t is the millionaire class who
are the least taxed in proportion to
their income and the benefits they
receive from government. The greater
part Of their wealth is concealed from
the assessor, and they recoup from the
public, in one way or another, the
greater portion of the taxes they pay.
In New York, for instance, it is not
the. wealth of the Astors that bears the
strain of taxation. but the earnings of
their tenants. who pay real estate
taxes in the guise of rent.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

skater grows cold he has merely to
jab a hole in the ice, apply a match
and instantly he is able to warm his
hands at hot, bright flame.
Another is about a business man,
who. wearying of losing fountain pens,
has let the nail of his forefinger grow,
and this he employs for his writing.
All humor, it may be. has a danger
Gus side. The practical joke, where
it may do no physical hurt, often
causes mental irritation, which reacts
on the joker. The wit which makes
its plays on personal defects and hab-
it's Is a maker of enemies. Such mild
anecdotes as that of the egg so large
it took two hens to lay it, and the
man who laid stone fence so fast one
day he was two days getting back
home, marks us. in England, as abb
normalities. To the English all things
are true or else malicious lies, IL they
carry the label American. Some day
when we may want to set ourselves
right abroad we shall have to under
take campaign of disillusion. II VIII
be labor for us. sore disappointment
to our cousins across the water.
Seriousness
A man who hopes to succeed must
take himself seriously, even II 1t be his
business to Danish seriousness.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
Need NoiseIess Music

Caledonia stern and wild reports the
latest dodge in advertising. An Ital-
ian, with a piano organ, turns the
handle thereof rapidly. No noise
comes out. The passerby, in nine
cases out of ten, is moved with curios-
ity.
Whats the natter? he asks. "a
breakdown?
The Italian points to a small placard
pasted on the front of the organ. 1t
reads as follows:
1.-THE interior of this instrument has
been removed. The relief that you ex-
perience in consequence is as nothing
compared with that which immediate
ly follows a dose of DR.. Rows cough
cure"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

Her published newspaper interviews
show her to be woman of such innate
coarseness of thought and speech that
no decent-minded woman would wish
to know her, on that count alone. Her
personal morality is not in question
We know nothing about it and have
no reason to doubt that she is what
is known, technically, as good wom-
an But her book morality is of the
lowest grade, even without the evidence
of this new venture.
The first book to make her known to
the American public was heralded as
a wonder of cleverness. For that rea-
son 1 read it. 1t had the very COM
mon light sugestiveness of unclean
things which we find in many quite
ordinary women whom we meet here
and there and everywhere, and whose
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
Andy is a Mad Waq !

Andrew Carnegie was entertaining
Montenegrin prince at Skibo castle. On
the morning after the princes arrival
the ironmaster took him for run in
an automobile. AS they whizzed past
an inn a great crowd of Highlanders
arose from the benches before the door
and saluted the party. Like Dr. john
son hundred years before him, the
prince was almost choked with sur
prise at the odd costume of the inhab-
itants of Scotland. Like many good
people nearer home, he had thought
that the individuality of Scotland ex-
listed only in the story books.
Good gracious!" he exclaimed,
"why do these men go barelegged?"
TT is local CUSTOM" said Mr.. Car
negie, "a mark of respect for you, sir.
In some places people take off their
hats in order to do honor to distin-
guished visitors. Here they take off
their trousers"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
Oh, Happy Horse!

At a spiritualist seance in the east
not long ago the lights were burning
low, and little company in hush of
awed expectation was awaiting mes
sages from the bourne whence no trav-
eler returns unless he gets a pass from
a medium.
One of the guests was a woman of
a somewhat practical turn of mind.
Years ago she had sold an old family
horse" and often had she yearhed to
know what had become of him. Here
was her opportunity.
1--WE had very good, dear friend,
who always did our work. she began,
in a voice tremulous and eager. HE
was faithful and kind and willing and
obliging. Several years ago he passed
from us. He went west. I do not
think he is dead, but if he is dead,
1 would like to know, and if he is
alive, will you ask the unseen intelli-
gehces to reveal to us his present
address,"
Madam" said the deep-voiced me-
dunn, after solemn pause, "do not
be troubled or worried over your dear
old friend. He is still-yes-he is still
in the f1esh-he has not passed over
he is in good health-he is in, Los
Angeles, and is married to rich and
beautiful young woman"
And the lights burned lower and
lower.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

pie of the fanciful capable
tiles of the human mind as for it's
comic qualities.
A few weeks ago a paper printed
story of a whale which swallowed a
patent log. The dispatch described
the screams and means of the dis
tressed animal as it trailed along after
the steamer to which the log belonged
There were such seemingly manifest
impossibilities about the tale that 1t
was never thought anyone might be-
lieve 1t. But one of the London week.
lies has taken it in all seriousness
This periodical interjects some COM
ment into the story, expressing the
greatest pity for the agony of the
whale. and regretting the inhumanity
of the sailors in continuing at high
speed, to the great pain of harmless
denizen of the sea, says the San Jose
Herald.
Turning over the leaves of the Eng
lish paper one discovers other Ameri-
can stories. One is about lake into
which percolates natural gas. In win
ter time the ice becomes impregnated
with bubbles of the gas, and when the
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
SCOTS SHOULD REJOICE

n WING to the gulf stream, which
u ever since the late seismic dis
" turbances which shook up our
old world has been boiling at higher
temperature than ever before. Scot
land has become practically a FROST
less country. In despair of aver again
finding ice thick enough to permit curl
ing and skating, Scottish curriers' have
hired a bit of the Bernese Oberland.
Kandersteg, near the world renowned
Gemmi pass. To this place the Gale
DOMAIN, determined not to be beaten
out of his winter, has transferred his
curling stanes, as well as his skating,
tobogganing and ski-running outfits.
We in California are proud of our per-
petual summer. Why nation should
be so devoted to billiards, snowdrifts
and freezes that when by the favor
of heaven it gets rid of them at home
it hunts for them abroad is one of the
mysteries that made Robert Louis
Stevenson say of his paradoxical fell
low countrymen: do not try to I'M
derstand Scotsmen, or you will surely
come to grief. You must take them
just as they are, without one plea"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

A Ventura correspondent sends word
to Los Angeles that the people who
live near Point Magu are going to the
shore to meet incoming tides and that,
wading into the surf, they gather fish
by armfuls. If the fisher takes along
a clothes basket he may fill it at one
dip into the swarming sea, but this is
not as good fun as opening ones arms
and embracing scores or hundreds of
eager denizens of the deep who evil
IDENTIFY are borrowing a leaf from the
bluejackets' book and are hankering
after shore leave.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

The Rev. Charles ]. Little of North
western university is charged with
saying that If George Washington
were living today he would be. a cap
tain of industry, a railroad president
or a successful business man. Now
that is the kind of talk that tries mems
souls. What foundation is there for
such a conclusion? Is Teddy Roose-
Welt captain of industry, railroad
president or successful business man?
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26


tilted. The consumers, being employed
and receiving their wages or being en-
gagged in different professions, bust
nesses and earning their customary in
comes, are able to pay the merchant
as agreed. The merchant pays the
manufacturer and the credit is justified.
While this transaction is running its
time this same merchant and manufac-
turer and the same customers of the
merchant have other transactions with
each other and with other merchants,
with other manufacturers, with other
consumers and with banks. The banks
have transactions with each other and
with merchants, and with manufacture
ers and real estate builders and CAPT
talists and laborers, and those whom
our friend the other day called "Wall
street sharks; and all these have
transactions with others.
The object of all these transactions,
as we explained to one of our CORE
spondents the other day, is the salts
faction of wants by the medium of ex-
change. goods and services being the
ultimate terms.
The reason of this is that in modern
life men can no longer produce for
themselves everything that they re-
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

The Rev. Robert j. Burdette says the
Bible is "a mans book, inspiring to do
things and to keep man at his best"
1t is pity that men do not read the
Bible more. 1t would not only have a
good effect on their morals but would
improve their English style. Robert
Louis Stevenson's pure, straightfor-
ward method of writing was the
despair of would-be imitators; but
Stevenson, while original in matter,
was not original in method. He chose
the Biblical style, direct, forceful.
clear and convincing, and forthwith
the brilliant in.itator was called Gin
imitable'' This was a joke on his
critics. if there is anything jocular in
ignorance of the Bible.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

The man who is clothing his canta-
loupes in muslin in order to aid their
growth has seen" Brother Burbank
and "gone him several better" Not
to be outdone, the wizard will prob
ably invent underwear for pumpkins
and a full line of haberdashery for
squashes.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

that are likely to spread to other
classes of the population, says the
Sacramento Bee.
1t appears that in Prussia the suf-
frage has been cunningly contrived to
give the large property holders a great
advantage in parliamentary represent
tation over the smaller taxpayers, an
arrangement which would not be for
a moment tolerated anywhere in this
country. In certain of our states there
is property or tax paying qualifica-
ton for the suffrage, but nowhere in
this Union do large taxpayers enjoy
more political representation than
small ones
The truth is every day becoming
more widely recognized that the real
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

DIR. Etheridge, formerly of Baltimore,
Md, has hunted climate all over the
world. He says that he has found it
at last in Los Angeles. Blessed are
they who find it without leaving home.
A man who quits Los Angeles in or
der to hunt better place is doomed
to a lifetime of vain travel.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
More Obedient, Too

Fancier-This dog, ma'am, would be
cheap at hundred dollars.
Lady, would take him, but 1 am
afraid my husband might object.
Fancier-Oh, but, my dear madam.
you can get another husband much
easier than dog like that!
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

The Texas Confederate veteran who
refused to allow his Confederate vet
eran command to fire on the Stars and
Stripes, even in sham battle, knew
his business better than the northern
ers who, with execrable bad taste, pro-
one of the forgotten battles over again.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
Spring styles for the Dippy

Rah, rah! Johnnies will wear on their
spring waistcoats glass buttons about
the size of door knobs. If you are en-
bowed with enough money and are suf-
ficiently foolish you may wear diamond
vest buttons.
This new kick will be for the lads
only Father, who puts up the ma
zoom win get along with safety pins
and single nails.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
Power of Precedent

Twas in the trapped and frosted
east. A snowstorn was raging. They
were at the window. "Oh dear, oh
dear" said she. do you think it will
stop snowing?"
1T always has" he replied, reas-
suringly.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
Tough on Peck

Mrs. Peck-I am saving money now
that we keep house.
Mrs. Beck-So you find it economical
to do your own cooking?
Mrs. Peck-Indeed 1 do. My hus-
band doesn't eat nearly so much as
he used to.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

Britain is daft on the subject of bat
leships. The taxpayers are shouting
,or more Dreadnaughts and plenty Of
..hem. It's evident that they dread
something
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

Tom Lawson predicts President
Roosevelt will be his own successor.
That about settles it, Up to now Theo-
dores friends have not lost hope, but
this will be the last blow
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
Suspicious

Customer-These' eggs are uncom-
monty cheap.
Groceries
Customer-Not very fresh, eh?
Grocer-Oh, fresh enough.
Customer, in walking with eggs to-
ward door, stumbles.
Grocer (frantically)-For heavens
sake, madam, be careful! Please!
Please! don't drop those eggs until you
reach the open air.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
To Modieska Mccain

To Modjeska Mccain
Here's lass with name that's sonorous
Announcing she's tied to a man:
And the Cupids are chanting in chorus
'Good luck to Modjeska Mccain!
May life's choice delights still attend thee
Success be assured to each plan;
May all the good fairies befriend thee.
And guard thee, Msdjeska Mccann"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
Measure of Success

Peck-Is Squibberly a successful
writer?
out OF, his writing to pay the postage
on the manuscript he sends out.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

lie Socialists are numerically
strong In Germany and have
no small representation in the
parliament of that country.
In Prussia they are agitating
for direct manhood suffrage
xx.itla .zlal III Il. u
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

JDER normal conditions, ev-
erything going well in the
country, and consequently
with the citizens involved in
this particular group of
transactions, this credit, or
ha1faf in ono onofhor iy ire.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26

CERTAIN English novelist
Ga woman) has come over
to America, seeking motor
iety for the purpose of adj
vertising a malorodous book
of hers, says a writer in
the Fresno Herald
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
SAD EFFECTS OF AMERICAN
F7UMOR UPON THE ENGLISH

newspapers are
given to a form of mild hui
NOR, whose basic principle
is exaggeration. It. is so
farfetched that it is offered
quite as much as an exam
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-26
CLEAR. CRISP AND CLEAN
FLEET AT SAN PEDRO

VT HEN a neighbor commentator,
w although not exactly in so many
words, yet effectively, if we put
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-12-24
At q In the Morninc,

The hour of 4 a. m. has something
mysterious about it. Cocks crow. peo-
pie on the brink of death give mp the
ghost, every n who is asleep sleeps
sounder, and even the watchful sentry
can't always keep his eyes open. AT
this hour people are in their weakest
state, and if life is just on the flicker
it is not surprising that it goes out.
Many a mans life has been saved by a
spoonful of ammonia administered just
when the clock strikes 4. The period
OF deepest sleep varies from 3 to 5
o'clock. An hour or two after going
to bed you : sleep very soundly. then
your slumber grows gradually lighter,
and it is easy enough to waken you at
or 2 o'clock. But when A O'Clock
comes you are in such a state of som
Violence that you would take no notice
of b end of the world.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-12-24

- Es
The old fashioned way of dosing a
weak stomach, or stimulating the heart
or kidneys is all wrong. DR.. Shoop
first pointed. out this error. This is
why his prescription-nr. Shoop's Re.
storative-is directed entirely to the
u CT these allments-the weak in.
side or controlling nerves. 1t isn't 80
difficult, says DR.. Shoop, to strengthen
a weak Stomach, Heart or Kidneys, if
M goes at it correctly. Each inside
olgan has its controlling or inside
nerve. When these nerves fail, then
those organs must surely falter. These
vital truths are leading druggists every
where to dispense and recommend DIR.
Shoop's Restorative. Test it a few
days, and see! Improvement will
promptly and surely follow.
Sold by r. W. Russell, Drug Co.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-12-24
The --latest Style Of nice Buggies,
Best Wagons, and Harness, Robes
and Blankets, at Chamberlain's.

Martin Brewer, of Hutchinson
county, has gone to Minnesota to
meet a sister from whom he was
separated when a child. It appears
that Mr.. Brewer was brought up
as an orphan in a Catholic institu-
ton at st. Joseph, Mimi, and
supposed that he had not a living
relative on earth. A few days ago
he was notified by the authorities
of the st. Joseph institution that
his sister had been located, and he
lost no time in going to meet her.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-12-24
Criminals In New South Wales.

I New South Wales has a novel system
of dealing with habitual criminals. A
man IS sentenced to a term for his par
ticular ofense and to an in~determinate
term because he is ar 'habitual.n
When he has served the definite term.
If he is well behaved. he can rise from
grade to grade, each step being accom-
panied bF various concessions. One
feature IS that he may earn wages.
which mag be sent to his family, spent
on luxuries or credited to him for the
day of release. a committee examines
his progress from time to time, adyis-
ssing the minister when he may be re-
leased, No release is absolute till after
q. years probation under modified re-
straint.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-12-24
Avon Clarion: Mr.. and Mrs. W.
r. Eggers departed Friday morn
ing for a months visit in California
and other western states.
Medicine That Is Medicine.

e have suffered a good deal
with malaria and stomach com
plants, bnt I have now found a
remedy that keeps me we'll, and
that remedy is Electric Bitters: a
medicine that is medicine for stom.
ach and liver troubles, and for run
down conditions" says w. @.
kiessler, Of Halliday. Ark. Elec.
tric bitters purify and enrich the
blood, tone up the nerves, and i'm
part vigor and energy to the weak.
Your money will BE- refunded If ii
fails 70 help you. 900 st all drug
stores.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-12-24

Prot. ]. =. Manthey came down
from Mitchell Tuesday and apent
one day with Scotland friends.
A New Years resolution. Put ii
on New Years postal. Get them
at Treiber'a.
Mn. 3. shaw md children
Of Parkston arrived on Tusaday ii
visit with the Wheeler family far i
lay.
Dr, Seagley informs iii aas i
little son made His appearances III
the humeof Rev. and Mrs. Haae
Tnesday night.
e. MiDnich surprised his wife
b b placing two new gasolina lamps
a BIZ home during Der absence
SMontn hey we're purchased ofI
4 Tally II Co
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-12-24
Curiosities II Weddino Rinos

Among the curiosities of wedding
rings it Is on record that in the early
days rings were made OF rushes. Per-
haps the most curious material used
for rings required on an emergency is
the case Of n being hurriedly made
by cutting It out Of the finger Of a
glove and another cut but OF a visiting
card. Many cases are on record of
rings made OF brass and iron being
used, as also curtain rings and door
keys being pressed into service at we'd
dings.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-12-24
This Is worth Reading.

Leo F. Zelinski, Of 68 Gibson
ST., Buffalo, N. Y, says: II cured
the most annoying cold sore / ever
had, with Bucklen's Arnica Salve.
I applied this salve once a day for
two days, when every trace of the
sore was gone" Heals all sores.
Sold under guarantee at all drug
stores. 25c.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-12-24
More al Horne.

a young fellow being asked by a re.
crliting sergeant IL he wished to enlist
ma Scottish regiment, replied:
Not likely. I'd rather go to d lunatic
asylum than enlist in Scottish regi-
mentn
NAh. weel," said the sergeant, 1--WE
nae dout ye'd feel MAR at hame there.
Dundee Advertised.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-12-24
kaylor Kstches.

The Kaylor State Bank was
burglar proof four days last week
because the safe could not be open
ed by the cashier. Jno. Schmierer
Jr. of Parkston came down Thurs
day and opened it.
Miss Ethel Curtis, principal of
the city school, is spending her
vacation with her parents at Sioux
Falls.
Mrs. G. w. Brown took the
train bound for her former home
in Iowa to visit her mother and
other friends and relations and
will probably remain until after
the holidays.
Jacob Remboldt, one of Scot
lands best business men, was in
town Monday on business. He
was accompanied by his brother.
Joe Weibush spent Sunday with
his family returning to Scotland
the next day.
F. F. Meyer of Trip is busy
moving his store building he re-
Gently purchased at Olivet. We
were informed that he intends to
put in a full line of hardware in
the spring. Such men as r. F.
Meyer are always welcomed to the
city.
B. f. Brown has been confined
to his bed for ten days. DR.. Stone
braker was called for treatment
but at this writing is improving
Mr.. Brown is in his 73rd year,
stout and robust. We hope he will
soon be able to enjoy the luxuries
once more.
Everybody is taking advantage
of sieigh-rides, but we fear these
warm days will make it disappear
in a short time.