The San Juan islander. [volume] (Friday Harbor, Wash.) 1898-1914, 1908-10-03
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Old Gentleman-ALd if Won h.,
hundred dollars and multinlioa 'a w
two, what would you get, D
'Nautmobile !-Harper's Weekly D0'-
Teacher-Parse court" d.
Court a verb, active, indicative mas, ,
present tense, and agrees with ~ 0od
girls in the Observation-Disclosures 10y
Father-Got a fall, did you? wao
hope you didn't cry like babv Gu
No. dad, didn't cry. l lust so, sOu--
word-the same as you'd have ss,s Jug
Punch.
what sort Of looking chap is o.,
syn "Well, If you ever see two S
in a corner and one looks bored ~
death, the other one is Gussy.s-IonaaS
Opinion. N0u
Mother Grossly Tommy, bavoo,.
told you you must not talk when -.
talking? Tommy-But, mamma ~
won't let me stay up after Won o. ~. =.
bed Sketch.
do you think he can afford to .o,,
an auto?" He ought to. He's hoos
an amateur photographer for tb,sa
years and that didn't break him.
troit Free Press.
Stranger cyclone or =,
earthquake round here recentlyY om
cer-Naw-this hyer's a college town
an me of the students had a birthd,,
party.-Harper's Weekly.
Mistress remember, Bridoot
the Joneses are coming for dinna,
Cook--Leave it to me, mum. I'll do
me worst! They'll never trouble 70,
again ILLUSTRATED Bits.
You say you acted like perfen
lady throughout" "Sure, yer honor.
when he tips his hat to me an me not
KNOWN him, ups with a rock an
caves In his face."-Houston Post
Medium (impressively) - It's the
spirit of your late husband, madam
He wishes to speak with you. Mrs
Peck-It can't be poor Henry: he
never had no spirit Boston Tran.
script.
Teacher What Is it, Tom? Tom
Jimmy's swearing! Teacher-What
did ho sow Tom, yVo11 r,or,, 10 ,,,.
say over all the cuss words you know,
I'll tell you when you come to it.
Kansas City Star.
The American globe trotter-TaA
about travelling. Why, iii America
trains 60 so fast that it takes two peo
pie to talk about 'em-one to say
Here she comes" and the other to
say, There she goes."-The Sketch.
Mrs. O'Hoolihan-This payer says
there do be sermons in sthOnes. Phwhat
d. yez think av thot? O'Hoolihan-0l
dunno about the sermons, but many
a good argument has COON out av
OA1Ch, vi III Iu1uhIu -OulCdSO A>e""
Il tell you," said Sinnick, "men are
getting so deceitful these days that you
can't trust your best friends And
what's worse" interrupted Burroughs,
gloomily, you can't get your best
friends to trust you."-Philadelphla
Press.
49," remarked the boyhood friend,
you are in the SWIM" Mother and
the girls think l am" answered MI
Cumrox. But my personal feelings are
those of a man who has fallen over
board and ought to be hollering fot
help."- Washington Star.
Teacher-If you are kind and polite
to your playmates, what will be tne
result? Scholar-They'll think tney
can lick me !-Philadelphia Inquirer
He-That fellow over there cheatea
me out of a cool million. She-Ho"
could he? He-Wouldn't let me marry
his daughter.-The Pathfinder.
"Just this way, SIR" said the cour'e
Gus clerk in the railroad ticket olleS
Let me show you some summer gulue'
entitled Where to Co and when !"
Co." The man with the modeS' ~
come shook his head. '"They dont III
terest me-" he sighed. "What | wan
tn know "a .How to Go.'"-Chicago
Daily News.
Professor" said Mrs. GasWeil u Wv
distinguished musician who hau w.
engaged at a high price to enter'ain 4 Nv
guests, what was that lovely sele''0
you played just now?" "That, nlau'"'
he answered, glaring at her, was ..
Improvisation" "Ah, yes, rellleinvs'
now. l knew 1t was an old la'oi"
but couldn't think Of the name "
to save ."-Tit-Bits.