The Worthington advance. [volume] (Worthington, Minn.) 1874-1908, 1908-06-05

say, "See here BiIlw l know the
whole affair must look all.thundera.
ton queer, Bill; but listen: You'll
be named for vice, and when we're
both elected, why, I'll resign, You'll
get it, Bill-fact is, that 1 suspected
Bryan would defeat you, Bill, which
made it necessary for me to head the
ticket, Bill, lest everything miscarry."
And Bill will sink into a chair.
aware that he has messed it, and will
exclaim, II see it now! By Jove, I
should have guessed It'll O, most un-
grateful wretch am I, to think that
you who made me-my benefactor
and my friend-had sLameIessly be.
trayed me?'
Wherat they will embrace and hug
AS lovers reunited,
And Ted will rest on Williams breast
And softly say, "De-lighted!"
June gets it's name from Juno. the
Roman goddess of marriage. Juno
was supposed to see everybody hap
PLY married. She was highly quail
flied to do this, for she herself had
married Jupiter, who was a worse
runabout than Boni Gould. When
the celestial chorus was playing Par
nassus, Jupiter hung around the
stage door like Pittsburger. He
stirred up n ore scandal than Tom
P4att, and was as bold as G1lmanaire
Corey. Juno finally avenged herself
upon her rivals by turning them into
COWS, which made Jupiter cattle
king.
The college graduate will hear
The Macedonian cry
OF Kansas farmers who must get
The wheat cut by July.
They'll rustic out while yet the lark
Is chirruping his matin,
And chase the binder round the field
Exuding Greek and Latin.
The dinner bell will bring the sage,
the scholar and the cynic, and dinner
will become sort of scientific clinic.
Astronomers will talk of Mars, of
Saturn and of Venus, and Latinists
recall few romances of Silenus
The Junebug will be mentioned as
the genus Lachnosterna, and other
bugs will speak of land as being
terra frma. They'll quarrel, shout
and sometimes swear in Arabic and
Greek, and now and then a dainty
hand will clasp damask cheek And
all the while the farmer, full of won
dering and doubt, will deeply marvel
what the hotel Bill it's all about.
The Anti-Saloon League willing,
the 21st will be the longest day of
the year. Upon that date the sun
will reach tbs Tropic of Cancer in the
northerly declination, and will start
south again. On the same day the
month will pass out of the influence
of Gemini the Twins, and persons
born after the 21st need not be afraid.
They will not have any. Upon the
contrary, the stork will fill only sim
gle orders under the zodiacal sign of
Cancer the Crab. Children born. un-
der this sign will crawl back and call
for crabapple jelly.
The smiling heavens will inspire
The skyIark and the linnet,
And the busy parsons will turn out
A new bride every minute
A few friends will throw shoes and
rice,
And taste the wedding cake,
And then make bets among them.
selves
On whether it will take.
Mr.. Bryan will complete his wall
around Denver about the 3Oth, and
will set deadfall at the gate for
Governor johnson. In the course of
the month, all Democrats WHO have
fought fist-fghts on the floor of Con-
gress, or in any other way distin-
guished themselves, will be honor
ably mentioned for 7ice-president.
The boys will seek the swimming
hole
In quite excited packs,
And paddle in it till the sun
Puts blisters on their backs:
And when the disobedients
Come wet haired back to town.
They'll get few more blisters raised
A little lower down.
Commandments will come in again