davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
LITTLE THINGS.

A GOODBY kiss Is little thing.
"A With your hand on the door to go,
But 1t takes the venom out OF the sting
OF thoughtless word or cruel ding
That you made an hour ago
A KISS OF greeting ~ sweet and rare
"A After the toll of the day.
And II smooths the burrows plowed by
care.
The lines on the forehead you once called
fair.
In the years that have flown away
NINlS little thing to say. you are kind;
i love you my dear each night.
But 1t sends thrill through the heart,
find
For love Is tender and love is blind
As We climb life's rugged height.
WE starve each other for loves caress;
w We take. but We do not give.
1t seems 50 easy some soul to bless
But We dole tho love grudgingly. less and
less
Till It's bitter and hard to live,
Andrew Lang
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
Educating the English.

The English do not know what to
think until they are coached laborious
ly and insistently for years In the
proper and becoming opinion. For ten
years past with an unprecedented per
tinacity and destination | have been
DINING into the public head that | am
an extraordinarily witty. brilliant and
clever man. That Is now part of the
public opinion OF England. and no pow
or In heaven or earth will ever change
II. ! may dodder and dote. may pot
boil and platitudinlze. | may become
the butt aud chopplng block of all the
bright original spirits of the rising
generation. but my reputation shall not
suffer. 1t Is built up fast and solid like
Shakespeare's, ON an impregnabe ba-
sis of dognatic reiteration Bernard
Shaw
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
A Countermanded Prayer.

A devout clergyman had Just mar
ried couple and. as was his custom.
offered n fervent prayer. invoking the
divine blessing upon them. As they
seemed to be worthy folk and not over
burdened with this worlds goods he
besought the Lord TO prosper the man
and greatly to Increase his business
laying much stress on this point.
In filling out the blanks 1t became
necessary to ask the man his business.
and. to the minister's horror. he said II
keep IA saloon"
In telling the story to his wife after
ward the clergyman said that as he
wrote down the occupation he whis
pered. Lord you needn't answer that
prayer. Ladies' Home Journal
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09

A Lesson In Patience.

When the eminent botanist, Profess
or Altman Of Glasgow, was small
boy, he had the present of silver
bit, whereupon his mother was 30 wor-
red with questions as to what he
should do with 1t that she exclaimed,
Really, you had better go to Thomas
Elliot's "a well known pharmacist aud
buy sixpence worth of patience
Down the street marched the lad aud
demanded Of the chemist. "Mr. Elliot.
please give me sixpence worth Of pa.
tience'
Mr.. Elliot, taking la the situation at
glance, said: Certainly, my boy
there's chair. Just sit down and walt
till you get it."
Professor Aitinan's endeayor to pur-
chase patience was great success. II
made deep impression on the lad and
was one OF the factors of his success
In life
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
THIRTY-FOURTH YEAR.
Pin Oak Valley, r. F d.. No /, July 80, 'oS


Mr. Hufman--Dear Sir
Since wrote you last winter about saving
wood and such like with the Woodpecker engine
| have been looking around somewhat little at
some other makes of engines and find they have
heaps of failin qualities. When got that Wood
pecker Engine thought it the greatest piece
earth then, and now | think it is most greater
than | am no mechanic but more on the
literary turn: My son Henry is very well read in
mechanics and he says that jumpin spark business
is rather real down good thing to touch up things
for going. as it is there about all the time
stantly. Now | you selling Hopper En-
gnes without no water much This idear is
a convenient one and Henry says the principle is
all right hotter the better as long there is moist
How will you trade? The place or cup that
holds oil on top of the cylinder which is made of
glass and has a little hole in its top is made differ
ent the engine; | it is made of ron
wont break; hat also the top comes off and you
pour thick oil in it without any trouble. Henry
used get swarm mad last winter when il was
cold and he was trying to pour thick oil in the little
hole and couldn't. Say you wont hdveto 10 the
house to warm the oil with this kind will you?
Other engines amt this way thew The longer
| have this engine the more think il is the most
greatest thing earth When you come up.
Yours verify,
Sammy Brown.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
Gems In Verse


G.
.HoU art the quick pulsation of the
Wine
The laughter and the fever and the
II doom,
Skull crowned with roses. mulady
divine.
Dweller alike In cradle and In tomb
Thine Is the clangor or the ceaseiess
strife,
The agony OF being and the lust.
But Death. thy bridegroom turns thy
heart, q Life,
Whence thou hast risen TO the primal
dust!
As one that loves a wanton, knowing Welt
That she Is false. | yield me TO thy spell
But when my cup Is foaming 10 tho
Yea, when l dream that | have olasped
the prize
| see the scythe and mark the fnee OF
That is thy lover leering from thine eyes.
George Sylvester Viereck.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
SOUND DOCTRINE.

YN1IE signs IL bad when folks commence
4 A-hndin fault with Providence
And balkin cause the earth don't shake
At ey'ry prancin step they take.
MO man IL great I'LL he can see
~ How less than little he would be
Ef stripped TO self and stark and bare
He hung his sign out everywhere
MY doctrine ~ to lay aside
AVA Contentious and be satisfied
Jest do your best and praise or blame
That follows that counts Jest the same.
I'VE allus noticed great success
Is mixed with troubles. more or less,
And It's the man who does the best
That gets more kicks than all the rest
james Whitcomb Riley
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
OPPORTUNITY.

OItottI My.
Master OF human destlnios am /,
Fame, love and fortune on my foot
steps walt.
Cities and fields walk penetrate
Deserts and seas remote. and. passing by
Hovel and mart and palace. soon or
late
l knock unbidden once AZ every gate.
X feasting. rise: II sleeping. wake before
| turn away. 1t Is the hour of fate,
And they who follow me reach every
state
Mortals desire and conquer every Zoe
Save death. But those who doubt or
hesitate,
Condemned to failure. penury and Woe
Seek me In vain and ceaselessy implore
| answer not. and l return--no more.
John J. Ingalls,
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
A Chinese Advertisement.

AT the shop Tae-shing Is very good
ink, fine, fine. Ancient shop. great
grandfather. grandfather, father and
self make this ink Fine and hard.
Very hard, Picked with care, selected
with attention. sell very good ink.
Prime cost is heavy This ink Is
heavy; so Is gold. The eye of the
dragon glitters and dazzles; so does
the Ink No one makes ink like It.
Others who make ink make II for the
snke of accommodating base coin and
cheat. while make 1t only for a name
Plenty OF mandarins know my ink
my family never cheated they have
always borne good name make
Ink for the son of heaven and all
mandarins In the empire. As the roar
OF the tiger extends to every place. so
does the fame of the dragons jewell
the ink of Tae-shlng"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
A Traitor.

a Traitor.
A politician In st Louis secured sew
eral offices on the strength of his war
record and went about to gatherings
of real soldiers and made famboyunt
speeches.
One day In hall In East st Louis
he dwelt with much emphasis on his
own brave record In two battles.
How could that beY" asked little
man who wore q. A. IL. button
Those two battles you mention We're
fought on the same day and were iif
teen hundred miles apart
MY friends" shouted the hero.
there is traitor among us. Put him
outw
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
One Point In His Favor.

A witty priest was once visiting a
self made" millionaire. who took him
To see his seldom used library
There" said the millionaire. point
Ing to II table covered with books
there are my best friends"
"Ah," replied the wit as he glanced
at the leaves, .'I'm glad you don't cut
them"-S Sacred Heart Review.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
Equal to the Occasion.

In IA suit tried In Virginia town
young lawyer was addressing the jury
on Il point of law when good naturally
he turned To opposing counsel. man
of much experience, and asked:
That's right, believe. Colonel Hop
klnsi"
Whereupon Hopkins. with smile of
conscious superiority. replied.
"Slr, ] have IN Office In Richmond
wherein ] shall be delighted To enlight-
en- you on any point OF law for II con
sldetation
The youthful attorney, not In the
least abashed, took from his pocket IL
half dollar piece, which he offered Colo
hel Hopkins. with this remark
NO time like the present Take
this, sir, tell us what you know and
give me the change"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
4 Town Of Macs.

Scotsmen are remarkably successful
as colonists. They are also very clan.
nish. There are many prosperous set
Elements In Greater Britain where
Caledonians largely predominant, but
the names OF these localities do not
carry that fact Oh their face. Nobody,
however, can be mistaken as to the
prevailing nationality IN "Macsville."
This Ii town In the Cobalt district
Of Nova Scotia. You will be perfectly
safe In accosting anybody there thus:
Il say, Mac."--Loudon Chronicle.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
A Lesson In Socialism.

Mike and Pat were two irish friends
One day Mike learned that Pat Ind
turned Socialist This troubled Mike.
who said; pat. don't understand
this socialism What Is 1t, now"
1T means dividing up your property
equally" said Pat Ills this way II
had $2000,000 Id give you II million
and keep II million mcselfseef'
And IL yon had two farms, Pat,
what would you do?'
I'D divide up. Mike ia give yon
wan and I'd keep wan"
'And II you had two pigs. Pat, would
You share those too?'
"Now, Mike, yon go to thunder ion
know I've got two pigs"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
Tho Aptness Was Too Much.

A minister, Il man Of great vigOr and
vchemence. while preaching one Sun
day bent forward aud shouted out with
righteous shall stand but the wicked
Shall fall"
Just as these words escaped from his
lips the pulpit broke from its fastening.
and be fell ont and rolled over on the
floor before his congregation Picking
himself up. he said,
Brethren. | am not hurt, and don't
mind the fall. but ! do hate the con-
nectiou"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
Some Few Escaped

oh Johr," whImpered the wife an
she seized the morning paper, "see
what that editor has done with the ac
count Of our musicale. lie has placed
It alongside the column Of death mo-
tices. It's IL shame. And we had such
prominent people ms guests too"
II suppose" said the husband wea
rily, that the editor wishes to call at
tention to the fact that some people
ure more fortunate than others. -
Bohemian Magazine
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09

The greater part OF the courage that
il needed In the world Is not of heroic
kind Courage may be displayed In
everyday life us well Us on historic
fields Of action. The common need Is
for courage to be honest. courage to re-
sist temptation, courage to speak the
truth, courage to be what we really
are and not to pretend to be what we
are not, courage to live honestly with
In our means and not dishonesty upon
the mems of others.-O. s Marden.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
A Doubtful Proposition.

should a man 60 10 college after
fifty"
well, he might pass muster at ten
MIS- answered the expert But a
man can't expect to do much In base
ball or football at that age."-Pitts
burg Post
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09

Nothing has heretofore been said as
to Miss Deland being the sole owner
and chauffeur of an electric runabout,
and even now the name of the maker
will not be announced except at regu-
lar advertising rates.
When she realized that a second
proposal from MILFORD was inevitable,
she chose her own ground to receive it,
That Is. she invited the living remains
TO take trip with her over the high
ways. Had he been young man of
thirty he would have scented deviltry
In the air Had he been a few years
older he could not have managed to
climb into the vehicle
For the first mile of the trip he hung
on with n death grip and said nothing.
Then, as no calamity happened, he got
over his scare Il bit and proceeded to
observe:
MY dear and charming Miss Deland,
you remember that In Londpn"
The dear and charming one steered
the vehicle over the humpy ground be-
side the track, and the bumps and
bounees that followed kept Milford In
terror for the next five minutes He
had not been smashed up OF thrown
out, and he began again:
81 make no excuse for following you
to America. As told your dear moth
or In London
The electric started for the ditch. and
Clara screamed, and for a few second
there was every promise of a TRACED.
Milford gasped prayer and dug In h.
toes, and when the vehicle was ono
more In the straight and narrow path
Its conductress said.
Il think 1t was your talk that con-
fused me, but Will do better hence
forth. You were saying that you told
or | told or mother or some one else
told somebody something In London"
Yes. Is IL positively necessary. my
dear Miss Deland, TO drive this vehicle
as II we were racing with loeomo-
tIveF.
"Oh. not at all. my lord You were
saving
II was saying To your mother that |
had met my ideal ut last and that"
This time the electric left the road
and brushed the hazel bushes, and no
man would have kept his nerve and
made a marriage proposal then. MI
lord thought 1t was all over. and II was
fully five minutes before he could
swallow the limp In his throat and
gasp out.
MY dear, II We We're to take II
slower pace | believe should enjoy
the ride more. felt II my first duty
10 lei your mother know what my feel
Inss We're toward You. and then
.Why, you don't call this fast go
ing do your interrupted the girl
We bavc simply been lingering.
Will now show you the speed gen
orally ride at
She showed him. He figured Ii out
that II was "A thousand miles an hour,
but of course 1t was only twenty He
needed encouragement to go on. and
Miss Clara gave It to him by obsery
| Ing:
Yes, you spoke to mamma. and
| then
Then. my dear, had the courage
| to-
away went the inachihe Tor teie-
sr"pn pole' anu 'he living relia'hs tor-
so' MS a'sni's ana crieu out III hppre'
,iehs'o'i lie WAS eatherihe h'niseiI
'or Jump "heh 'he Nehicie iaisseu
.he po'e py all OF lhree-eigiilils OF an
inch and was guided back into the road
running ON two wheels.
"You had the courage to-to"-
iuei"'" o'"r" "he" 'hihss were going
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
Scarcity Of English Humor.

It Is to be feared that II the papers
reserved a special corner once each
week for the witticism Of the week It
would be often left blank There is nc
wit to speak of today. only feeble im.
ltation Of 1t which people are fond Of
calling the saving sense of humDr--
London Saturday Review
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
No Escape.

A citizen of Seattle who had looked
upon the wine when he was no longer
sure what color II was In the course Of
his journey home encountered Il tree
protected by an Iron tree guard. Grasp
Ing the bars, he cautiously felt his way
around 1t twice
Curse III" he moaned, sinking TO the
ground In despair Locked inin-Ev
cry body's
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09

DO you think the world Is growing
worseF'
Dunno as it's" responded the old
man. They're tellin' the very fish
stories | heard when | was boy
Philadelphia Ledger
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
A Natural Mistake.

The new teacher had just taken
charge Of her school and was learning
the names Of her pupils The first one
she asked said his name was julie
The teacher. trying to reproye the boy
said: That's not proper Your maine
IL Julius. The next one she asked
was named "Bill," and, thinking he
could please her, said, "My name Is
Bilious Judges Library.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
A Gift to an Explorer.

A GIFT to an Explorer.
"Peary." said Il geographer of Chi
eago, never started on one OF his
exploring expeditions without receiv-
ing by mail and express all sorts Of
packages from cranks-cowhide under
wear. tea tablets. medieated boots and
what not
"peary once told me that George
AIDE n few days before the start of his
last trip. wired him to expect an in
portant package by express.
The package came 1t was labeled
ITO be opened at the farthest point
north
''Peary opened 1t at once. however.
1t was small key inscribed:
Axle grease for the pole.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
An Eaav Nav.

"In order to succeed IN life" said the
experienced person, you must not be
afraid to make enemies"
Then" answered the tractable
youth, you would probably advise me
to put in some time as baseball UNI
pire. Star.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
. The
Scrap Book
How Grandma Viewed Them.

I'm glad Billy had the sense to mar
~ Il settled old man." said Grandma
Winkum at the wedding
why. grandma" asked the son,
We'll. gals Is hity-tlty. and widders
Is kinder oyerrulin' and upsettln'. But
old maids is thankful and willln to
please"
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09

Great Britain has the longest coast
line Of any country In Europe Italy,
Russia and France come next Ia the
order given.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09
SELF APPROVAL

DO what thy manhood bids thee do;
- from none but self expect applause.
He nobiest lives and noblest dies who
makes and keeps his self made laws.
Burton
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09

upon him this EVENING""
Il beg your pardon" said the lady,
Il have no husband"
But these children, madam-you
surely are not n widow"
Il fear you were mistaken, sir. when
you first came up. These are not my
children This is an orphan asylum
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09

pEsIsTANcE to its pinions light
~ Uplifts the bird In airy flight.
Resistance to the winged soul
Uplifts 1t to the lofty goal
John h. Tabb.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-09-09

Had we not faults Of our own we
should take less pleasure In complain
ing Of others.-Fenelon.
Arizona republican., 1908-09-09
PHOENX, ARIZONA, SEPT. g, 1908
THE DEGENERACY OF PRIZE
 FIGHTING.

The world is far from the tor notch of civilization so long as sucl brutal exhibitions as the Ketchel- Papke fight, the chief feature of tho Labor Day celebration at Los Ange- les, receive encouragement. Here we are in the midst of a presidential campaign in which great, party inter ests, and perhaps the prosperity Of the country, are at stake. Yet the campaign for the day and for weeks before during the training period was obscured along the Pacific coast at least, by the meeting of two thugs.
 It is true that all people do not countenance prize fighting, but evil dently a very large majority of them do; otherwise the newspapers and the news agencies of the country would not permit accounts of them to overshadow all other contempora- neous happenings.
 There is yet in us a trace of that spirit of our skin-clad ancestors who found enjoyment in encounters in which the combatants brained each other with clubs and stone axes.
 The prize fighting craze Is a greater evil and should be regarded as a greater disgrace than it was a half century ago, when pugilists, un- der the already frowning laws against this sort of sport, sought se- questered battle grounds to avoid the official authority.
 The attendance at these fights was necessarily small. There was the in convenience and expense of reaching them, and there was the ban of the law which kept law-abiding citizens at home. There was no responsibility or even pretended responsibility among the witnesses of these com bats. The attendance was made up largely of thieves, pickpockets and members of the lawless element gen orally.
 The newspapers, aside from the sporting weeklies, gave meager space to the fights of the old days. There was no looking forward to them; no qualification of the pugs except in the lower levels of society.
 Then came the period of regula- tion and license until now the meet ings of prize fighters are are hedged about by a legality which almost amounts to responsibility.
 The two and four ounce gloves have not lessened the brutality of these contests. The gambling facili- ties have been greatly increased and in all other respects things are worse than they were before.
Arizona republican., 1908-09-09
WILL GET THE RETURNs.-The

WILL GET THE RETURNS.-The Hoffman has put in a loop from the Western Union and today will get the fight between Nelson and Cans by rounds. The fight will begin about o'clock. w. C. Delzell the dssO ;iatcd press operator will be in charge cf the key and Nih get the news diract from the ringside. Local sports are taking much interes. Tn the big mill and bet ting is quite lively.
Arizona republican., 1908-09-09

The county campaign will lack three days of being a month long. But to the candidates as well as to the rest of us that will be long enough.
Arizona republican., 1908-09-09
INJURED Al MINE
 BY FALLING TANK
Brought to Phoenix on a-Special Train for Operation. ..-

J. J. Davis, an employe of the Cunningham Pass Copper Mining company, was brought to Phoenix last night on a special train for an operation for relief from an injury sustained at the mine seventeen miles from Wenden yesterday morn ing. The injured man was accom- panied by Dr. F. H. Cantwell of Wen den. Dr. Stewart, who had received Ia message from Harold Baxter, the superintendent, met the train and the injured man was taken in the Col den Eagle ambulance to the Sisters hospital where the operation per formed by Drs. Cantwell and Stew art was very successful. It is thought that MT. Davis will recover, though the case was a serious one.
 At the time of the accident he was engaged in unloading a tank of dis tillate which weighed approximately slipped down a pair of skids when it turned over and the edge of it caught Davis in the forehead just above the left eye. The scalp was torn loose and pushed inward through a fracture in the frontal bone
 Davis was brought by wagon to Wenden and came down to Wicken- burg, where he rested until in the evening, when a coach and engine was coupled up and left there about s o'clock. arriving in Phoenix at $40 D. m. Davis was conscious when he arrived here and was still able to recognize persons and talk connect edly. He is a man of about 57 years of age.
Arizona republican., 1908-09-09

Oh, the fickleness of woman! Now, there was that Mrs. Rice, who threw Dr. Rustin down on a well under stood suicide proposition.
Arizona republican., 1908-09-09
THE HOTEL AT HOLLYWOOD.

spending their summer the City and Sea Rates Slzo 9p
Arizona republican., 1908-09-09

We see by the papers that Sheriff Hayden, who has just returned from tour of the east, describes an i'm provement of democratic conditions in Pennsylvania, but he will not com init himself to the extent of predict ing a democratic victory in that state this fall. There is such a thing as being Over-cautious. That's why this careful and conservative journal has refrained from declaring that the
 republicans are going to carry Texas.