davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
Work AAo Nor seen plv.pso.
Girls Question shed Great LIpnt on
Companion on Bicycle.

Marshall Geer. the chairman Of the
New York cotton exchange, was con.
graduated the other day. says the
Brooklyn Times. on the superb order
that his committee maintains.
we do II by working together. /"
said Mr. Geer 1--WE could accomplish
nothing otherwise. Not to work to.
Other Is, you know, dangerous
thing. ! remember the time OF the
bicycle craze. set out one hot Au.
gust afternoon on tandem with a
pretty girl. There was before us n
stif 3O-mile spin.
Well. worked like a galley slave
that afternoon. The Precipitation sim.
ply rained OF me. ! could hear my
over.worked heart beating thunderous.
ly. My face was kind OF blush red.
But the girl kept beautifully cool.
And at our rides end, as leaned
the machine against the hotel porch
she touched one OF the pedals delicate.
ly with her forefnger and said:
BY the way. what are these little
twirligigs for?"
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

The poet sings OF bronzing leaves ana
rivers Allied with wine,
The cawing of the raucous CROW. The -.
grant zephyr's whine.
He warns us now that winter soon ~,
reign upon the land.
And Boreas, the msty god. will rim !.
beat tho bandl
All, poet, we have other ways. we ma.
who work all day,
To tell that winter comes apace, we b.,.
the bills to payl
The coal man shovels In the coal VIII,
rumbling bang and crash,
The groc'ryman Is after us, for-oh n l..
= Of cash.
our wife In buying winter "eats"-nota.
toes by the bin.
And hubbard squash and other thhe.
that cost a lot Of tin.
our summer clothes from babe 10 nm
must be replaced with new.
Why, every blessed one OF us Is almoa,
busted through
There's underclothes and socks 10 Inv
and shirts and hats and shoesl
We sit In dazed amazement counting nm
the l. o. US,
And on the top OF this comes wife to
make us out the goat
The moths have simply made a wreck Of
her new sealskin coat
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
oArE IRON pReAIsToRIe Aee
Remarkable Pictures Found in crottos
Of Spanish Town.

Prehistoric pictures hang In the
grottos OF Atlanta In Spain. AZ the
entrance are found all kinds Of kitch
en- refuse, mussel shells, broken bones
nntlers, and fints. and crudely hewn
tools Of stone, all embedded in greasy
black ashes On the walls an3 ROOT
OF hall rs feet long and nearly Il
feet broad are animal pictures. some
hewn, some painted, black, red, or 9th
er colors. These animals. drawn sin
ely or In groups and usually strongly
faithful TO nature, belong to a worlo
that inhabited almost all Europe at the
end OF the ice age but is now almost
extinct in the south OF the European
continent, and are recognized as the
Wild horse. wild boar, stag, bullock
COW, goat. There also are a consider
able number OF peculiar drawings
which finally were concluded to be hu
man beings. They have an animal
head with strongly projecting snout. II
is supposed by some that these re.
markable creatures with their arms,
hands. legs and ears are dancing per
sons with arms uplifted to implore
and with animal masks But this sup
position is held to be highly improb.
able. As the artists OF remote antiqui.
ty knew how TO picture various ami
mails with perfect fidelity to nature II
Is thought that in this instance they
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
Barred Women from Games.

One rule OF the original Olympic
games could not be followed nowadays
without provoking serious trouble.
Women were not allowed to be pres
ent. or even to be anywhere In the
district when the games were being
celebrated on pain OF being hurled
from a precipitous rock. This rule Is
believed TO have been dehed only
once, when the offender was pardoned
IN consideration OF the fact that her
father. brothers and son had been vic
tors In the games. One particular
priestess. however. was not only ex.
empt from this law, but was accom-.
modated with special front seat on
an altar OF white marble, and women
were allowed TO enter chariots for the
races. though they might not be pres
ent to see them win.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
rheIr Names Were MIIIle and rhine.

that caused the conductor to think
the train had struck Wild West
show.
During the rest of the trip Buck
was nailed to his seat.
Every time he tried to use the elias.
tic In his neck. the wife would burn
him with a hard, cold glitter.
The Roast-Beef Sisters seemed to
be all carved up about something or
other.
The drummers went back to the
shop, and were selling things again
when sledgehelmer futtered down
among us.
Maybe you've never met .Jakey
Sledgeheimerl
He travels for firm In Brooklyn
that makes imitation grapefruit and
rubber finan haddie.
Jakey Is the LATEST loosener that
ever tied string around a roll.
The boys call him putty because
he's the next thing to a pane.
He's such stingy loosener that he
looks at you with one eye SOS not to
waste tue otner.
II you ask Sledgehelmer what time
II is he takes on four minutes as his
commission for telling you.
Slim said sledgeheimer to Arthur
Shaw. do you smoker
II was Knockout.
In the annals OF the road no one
could look back 10 the proud day when
Sledgeheimer had coughed.
Once, so the legend runs, he gave
a porter a nickel. but II was afterward
discovered that Sledgeheimer wa
asleep, and not responsible at the
time, so the porter gave It back.
Sledgeheimer tried to collect three
cents interest for the time the porter
kept the nickel and the conductor had
to punch his mileage and his nose be.
fore he'd let go
And now sledgeheimer had asked
Slim II he smoked
Slim was pale but game.
Sometimes" he answered.
DO you like a goot seegare" querled
Sledgeheimer.
We looked for the engine to hit
COW any minute now.
--r'r --'irrr, --TrE-T -IITTIl over.
We'll" said Sledgeheimer, here is
my brudder-iniaw's card He makes
dot Grass Widow seegar on Sigsth
Avenue. Gif him call und mention
my name. He viii be glat 10 see you,
vet"
Then sledgeheimer went away back
and sat down.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

did he say. Der dying Empire filtered
as he took dot copper's hant, und he
set: Il nefer more vii see my own,
my native lant took a message und
token to some distant friends OF
mine, for l vas born at Dopeville--at
Dopeville down der Line"
Tell my dear, short-sighted broth
ers ven dey meet ind crowd arount
to hear my mournful story, dot
brafely helt my grount; dot fooled
my decisions und | googooed at der
mob. all bowling for my hearts blood
tours is fearful chob) full many
kicker CHASTITY vite. hard on der bench
! sat until some players sneaked be.
hind und soaked me NIT bat; den
qyite swift und suttenly vent into a
decline. no more viii see Dopeville-
dear Dopeville down der Line!
Tell Pulliam his udder sons must
comfort his olt agel-ach. how /
luffed to put dis head OF mine mitin
cagel For my father vas an Empire
bold. und efen as child my heart
chumped fort to hear him tolt of
struggles fierce und Wild, und ven he
died undo left us all We hat to took our
choice let dem half yust vot dey
wished but kept my fathers voice, und
NIT boyish yells l practiced on der
leedle olt cat nine on Sleepy Street in
Dopeville-dear Dopeville down der
Linel
Tell my brothers in der pitzness
not to stood und bolt DER breath und
watch dem awful players celebration
ing my death, but to look upon dem
proutly, NIT a cold und Goldfish eve
und fine dem to der limit-as | dit in
days gone by; und II der players fuss
demselfs, und NIT DER words eggs
claim, yust listen at dem brieflessly
und chase dem from der game-for
der Empires rank decisionings must
be backed as l backed mine for der
honor of olt Dopeville-sveet Dope.
Vile down der Linel"
HIS voice chumped TO a visper; his
grasp vas childish weak his eyes put
on a played-out look, his speaker
ceased to speak; der copper bent to
lift him. but, chez viz! II vas too
latel Der Empire OF der Big League
vas ouid-ouid at der platel Three
strikes. py Chimineddyl und he hat
no chance to call like he used 10 DIT
do often: SAY dot last vun vas a
BALI" Ven, he's gone. | eggspecta.
ton, ware der voodbine does der tyine.
but dare's plendy more at Dopeville--
dear Dopeville down her Line
BY this time we had reached Utica
and had to quit them.
Yours as usual,
Copyright. 1908. by @. w. Dillingham; Co,
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
orIaln Of Picture postaIs.

A few days ago II was mentioned
In French newspaper that picture
postal cards were originated by a
German. The French press has now
come forward in its characteristic
jealousy of the French reputation for
Invention. with the statement that a
French bookseller. Bernardeau, was
the inventor of picture postals during
the Franco-German war.
Bernardeau's cards were decorated
with a picture OF the camp OF the
army OF the Sarthe. and had the in
scription. Souvenir OF the National
Defense" Beneath were the words,
Family, Honor, Fatherland Liberty"
The postals were sold mostly to the
soldiers from Brittany. who through
them kept their family and friends in.
formed as to their whereabouts.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
FIsh chssed Ashore IN wh.l..

A serious menace 10 health is
threatened at Nahant by the large
quantity OF fish which have been
thrown up on the beaches and rocks
Following It is believed, the appear.
ance of porpoises and large fish SIM.
posed to be whales $3.50 - -
Al'noneh the fishermen gather them
as iast as the tide recedes. many are
overlooked. II is the opinion Of the
natives that the fish. which incmde
mackerel' hake, pollock and herring
all small in Size have been forced
ashore by the larger fish, which have
invaded the waters recently Boston
Transcript.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
Historic Incident Participated In by
American WarshIp.

or the old sloop OF war st. Mary's
now to be consigned in her sixty.fiftb
year to the tender mercies of the auc.
ton. II Is written that she bore nc
conspicuous part in war In all her long
service. This may be true, but the
st, Mary's was once associated with
an event which is worthy OF common.
grafton. Under the command of the
late Capt. Colvocoresses she was the
means. 40 or more years ago. of most.
poning the bombardment of VALPARAISO
by the Spanish fleet. She was
anchored before the city, and the
Spanish admiral limited that she was
In the line OF fire. Capt. Colvocor.
esses remarked that he was perfectly
satisfied with his berth. and that while
the 81. Mary's carried but 22 guns
she represented a navy that had 1900
guns al sea. Valparaiso was event.
ually bombarded, but not while Cant
colvoeoresses was present. The ne.
GUITAR name of the ship commemo.
ifa'es an early colonial capital NJ
Maryland. II was given In the same
spirit Of historical association as was
Illustrated by the jamestown and
the Plymouth, her sister ships.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
I7IENlPT
ON THE
DRUNaM
BOYS
BY GEO. " hobart, C"HUoH mHUeH.D

The laugh was ON Slim. so he dared
us all into the cafe, and after he got
busy with the button we all voted in
favor of Monticello highball.
After we had dampened our thirsts,
Bill Burress showed us how Hammer
stein would Americanlze "Bingen on
the Rhine" Bill called It Der EN-.
pire," in honor of the Empire State
Express, Frank Westerton said. eng
fish joke--rottenD This is how Bill
spelled IL:
An Empire OF der Big League lay
dying. full init fears; dare vas lack of
players nursing; aber nit of players
tears. but cop policeman watched him
vile his life's bleed ebbed away, und
bent init pidying glances to hear vot
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

There's no doubt that women are
tickle" said Mr.. Growcher.
Il hope you don't mean me-" said
his wife.
''yes, do. Here you are saying this
seasons hats are perfectly adorable"
We'll. they are"
"And year or so ago you were
talking the same way about hats
which you now describe as utter afro
clties!"
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

light and dryness Of the best modern
plumbing more comfortably than they
did In the damp and filth and darkness
OF the past We thought the modern
ship would abolish them. but the Lus-
itania has as many rats as had the
Columbus caravels And here"
He made an awed gesture.
And here | find rats In our cold
storage rooms at temperatures that
freeze the breath and cause II to fall
in the form of snow. To and fro they
prowl. their coats are thick and warm
like fur. and with frost on their wills
kers they feed heartily on meat and
game frozen to rocklike hardness"
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

Dear Bunch: In that crowd OF swift
drummer boys going New Yorkward in
the Mr.. Pullman's sleep-wagon yester-
day, one of the speediest was Buck
Jones.
Bucks wife and a three-year-old
were travelling with him. but he wasn't
giving II out through megaphone
Buck is one of those goose-headed
guys who begin to scratch gravel and
start in to make a killing every time
they see a pretty girl.
Across the aisle seat sat two pet
canarles from Plainheld, N. J.
They were members of the Sou
brette Singing society. and they we're
en- route TO the west TO Join the Bunch
Of Birds Burlesque Company"
Their names were Mile and Tillie,
and they wore Merry Widow hats. and
did a sister act that contained more
bad grammar than an East Side pin
ochle game,
Mile was fully aware that she
could back Duse of the map, and Til
lie was ready TO bet weeks salary
that she could make Bernhard feel
like she was out in the storm we had
day before yesterday.
Slim called them the Roast-Beef
Sisters, Rare and Well-Done.
In minute the castors on Bucks
neck began TO turn.
Slim put us wise with a wink, so we
lit the fire and began to cook 1t up.
Bucks heart was warming for the
birds in the gilded cage.
'"rhe real Kibol" said Slim; its
plain case of Appomattox; the war is
over and they are yours, Buckl'
Buck turned few more volts into
his twinkling lamps.
Lower your mail-sail Buck, and
drop alongside; you've made the land.
ing" suggested Burress.
Buck began to feel his necktie and
play patty-cake with the little bald
spot on the top of his head.
Stop the hanson and get out;
you're at your corner" said Dave.
The Sweet Dreams across the way
were giving Buck the glorious eye
iNhs ohN ht ANit inc hluHtl was Itdugs
Hang up your hat, Buck, and gather
the myrtle with Mary" | Clipped in
Then Buck bounced over and be-
gan to show Mile and Title what a
handsome brute he was at close quar-
ters
He sat on the arm of the seat and
warmed up.
In less than minute he crowded
the Information on them that he was
a millionaire, who had escaped from
Los Angeles. Cal. and he was just go
ing to put them both in grand opera,
when his three-year-old toddled down
the aisle and grabbed him by the coat
tail:
"Papal Mamma wants 90 to Diet my
bottle OF milk"
"Stungi" shrieked Slim.
Back to the nursery" howled Nal.
colin, and then as Buck crawled away
to home and mother we let out a yell
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
LIaht and Pain.

Light is good for toothache." said
the doctor. Darkness is bad for IT,.
II you are toothache sufferer. haven't
you often noticed how the pain in your
jaw increases when, late at night, you
turn on the lamn. and. -s.-.--l.--l
Light. you see, is good for the tooth
ache. There are a number OF diseases
Il is good for-asthma, cold In the
head. earache. These diseases In the
dark all grow worse.
Darkness is good for sick h
ache and for neuralgia and for Il
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
L.lahtnIna strllIs.es-a-Rss.-

A clerk in Liverpool (Eng.l ofIic
vas sitting at his desk during al
ent thunderstorm. when what he d,
iribes as a hall OF flame struck &
en- in lis hand. producing a startlii
eport. Curiously enough, the pcr
vas not damaged. nor did tho clers
himself suffer any injury.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
nealns AZ Foo, Of adder.

Ogden Mills Reid. only son of White.
law Reid, publisher OF the New York
Tribune, has begun work as reporter
on his fathers paper Young Mr. Reid,
who Is 25 years old, is Yale graduate
OF the class OF 1904. subsequently he
looE-a- csa-a --i---ti - -ir---'1f9. rTrv vcr10T.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
hIs ErIend,. opInIon.

81 have been married four times.
and yet often fear that do not un.
derstand women"
The fact that you have been mar
ried four times ought to remove from
your mind all doubts concerning the
matter "--Chicago Record-Herald.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

The Teacher-In this beautiful
verse. children, the poet says the
flowers were molstened by the dew.
Do any of you know what moistened
means?
Little Jane-Piease. teacher, I know.
Me an Tommy Green and Sissy Pratt
was playin' on tn dock an Tommy
fell In tn river an got moistened.-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

sea. Haven't you noticed itg Light
and darkness-they are remedies
recognized at last; and to-day We pre-
scribe them the same as we do quinlne
OF nux."
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

also drew from lie and that at that
time there still lived in Europe such
creatures closely related to the com
mon ancestors of man and ape. The
artists themselves remain mysteries
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

Really" said Miss Planeley. Il con.
slider II very good portrait OF me.
Don't you think II would be wise to
have II enlarged?"
"Why = er - yes." replied Miss
Brakes. but then you'd have to make
the mouth and ears larger. too. would.
mt your"
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
Jack Frost.

That mischIevous sprlte:
To start things a-hummlng
liz lust his delight
He, gives Young cheeks nosies
And reddens old noses
And pinches folks toeses
TIL thev crv outrlght
A vooaa.,,,t a.,t..
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

Inside OF u years New York prom.
ises to be the largest city on the
earth. II is now growing more than
six times as fast as London.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
Cold storan. Rats

The attendant came out OF the cold
storage room with an awed look.
Rats are wonderful" he said. I'VE
thought modern plumbing would abol-
ish them, but they live in the clean
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
Sxr~,uM..-=s
Don't comnlaIn.

Don't complain" said Uncle Eben
~ You End dat somebody has an ak
TO grind. You's lucky desc days H.
When YOU gifts through -lurnin IL L.
'srr1'uEol0e, he doesn't han you de ak
an speck you TO do his chopin for
INV Washington Star.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
Q Q o
Rag Time.

ohoIt StolleS are DOunu 10 De pOpu.
lar with the man who Is running his
own hot-water heating plant. He can
read one between trips to the cellar
II he hurries
A well-known lecturer is fooling
away his time giving lecture on
Turkey. Why should married men
attend lecture like that? Don't
their wives talk Turkey to 'em every
night?
An Iowa man, bachelor. says when
he gets married he Is going to marry
a woman that can make pumpkin pie
Gee! n that's all he wants, know
niger nanny down south that will
suit him to ct"
4 4 =
A Colorado loved one has Just won
suit for $4,000 against young man
who wrote her endearing misslves and
married another woman. And to think
he might have pleased her even more
by sending her candy, that her little
brother would have eaten. and flowers
that would have wiltedl
y 4 4
"A New York man was saved from
drowning by his cork leg which kept
him from sinking when he couldn't
swim" says an exchange. We are to
presume, | suppose, that the editor re-
fers to water and not booze. Even
man with a cork leg can drown In
champagne-if he has the price.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

But how viii you find good? II Is
not thing OF choice, II Is river that
nows from the foot of the Invisible
Throne. and flows by the path of ODE
oience. -tieorge Eliot.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
O @ @
Fatality

Run over COW this morning up above
coffoyville," said the brakeman 10 a re-
porter. How did IL happen?' asked the
reporter. she was drinking out OF
sreek under bridge" shouted the brake
man as he swung on TO the last ear and
went grinning out OF town.-Batesyille
lark ENTERPRISE
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28

siias Phillips took a load OF hogs 70
Town tuesday and brought large tank
home. Woodward (Ark.) News.
The Utah County Democrat. [volume] (Provo City, Utah) 1898-1909, 1908-11-28
WORTHY OF FLAG SHE CARRIED.

Copyright. 1908. by g. W. Dillingham; Coz
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-27


light blue, coral, champagne DlacN
and white, rich satin pIald WIN o.'!Ht!
null body. TO see them Is I" au-
mlre lhchl. OPC!ll'tS u"s ''>'
Wash ski.
Elegant merccri1ed liz. skirts
shown in all leading neautl-
ful models at. ..%l..o.
,.,,,
Merry Widc:r -.
mia ~, ga leather and gilt
orrocrs iy ponular in New
yorl y all the leading colors.
be-. H.. 49,. .."oS.
V. d. Linen Belts.
,oriiiront line of high grade
liz, an,hroidorcd hclts finished with
o,,..iIo,t poorl hucklcs. extremely
.,.a.n and certainly cheap at. 25c.
rn,, Knob ,.,:. ms.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-27
Tin Can Mountain a Lesson.

A few months ago the women OF
Trenton, Mo-. organized the Clean City
club and succeeded in cleaning up the
town by novel scheme. The club
offered to pay % cents Il hundred for
all tin cans gathered from the streets
and alleys within the city limits. In a
few days every alley was cleared, and
q pile of more than $4,000 tin cans
was stacked about the hagpoe in the
center Of the town green where every
one might see them. The sight so i'm
pressed the city council that it not
only paid the bill for collecting the
cans, but issued orders and saw that
the entire town was thoroughly
cleaned,
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-27

shades Of champagne, natural linen.
coral, navy, Copen I! ger. pink. opal
blue ana golden brown: an elegant
fabric :Cr shirt waist. coat suits,
jumpers or three piece suits, eXcep-
tional values at -. .5c and SOC.
SucSinc Silks.
The new silk that makes exquisite
afternoon or reception gowns, soft,
lustrous and beautiful, yet within
the reach of all. Il complete range OF
the dainty, delicate spring shades.
Opening Day price :. 3. -. .i;5c.
Paid and stripe Chiffon Panama.
The spring WOODEN fabrics. light i'll
weight, yet having splendid wearing
qualities: Il beautiful fabric for skirts,
tailored suits or three piece COS
tunes; pretty shade OF tan, brown.
navy. blue and black, full ~ inches
wide. per yard =. zoe, SOC and S1.0O.
Altman VOilcs.
More popular than ever are The
woolen voileS. These goods are light
in weight yet do not crush. owing to
the springiness Of the weave. eXtrc-
mely popular for every use, hand
some coloring in cream and cham
pagne, brown. Copen Hagen, navy
blue, gray and black per yard :.
75C ana 400
Silk Ti1ish Batistc.
Nothing prettier for afternoon
wear or children's dresses than the
av.r. CRY ~" ID easily managed
silk BA.isty. :, shcw p.acticular-
" beautiful b Is e full 3S inches
vide that las lustrous finish. beau
"'ul ~anrc of all Spri lg shades In
lluding navy blue, brown and black,
price per yard >. DOC.
STYLISH SKIRTS
All the latest desingns made Of the
'Iewcst Fabrics.
Panama skirts nade with large