The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1908-12-21
, CAUGHT ON THE =
, RUN ABOUT TOWN =

The married man was late this morn
ing in making his appearance in the
Dacres lobby, but nevertheless, ne
made his way to the cigar ease, won
two choice Havanas from the fair dam
sci on duty there, and after igniting
one Of them made his customary morn
ing salute to Leo.
Morning, Leo"
Good Morning; how's the old world
using you by this time. old man?'
Leo, I've got a spell to give you;
it's great, and you may not believe it,
but last night I accompanied my fe-
male better half to church to hear the
minister shoot his final Wad before
the approach Of the Christmas season;
1 knew you'd be shocked to think of me
doing such an unheard-of thing, but to
tell the truth, l am about as surprised
as you are.
"But that is not what 1 wanted to
tell you about; you know, kiddo, l am
in the habit of taking my mornings
morning and my evenings evening at
about stated intervals, long practice
having made the little gulplets part of
my daily routine; so when my wiley
asked me to go to church with her last
night, listened to the song of the siren
and was Johnny on thetspot. we
were not satisfied with going to one
Of the more common tabernacles, but
at the suggestion of the head of the
Observation-Disclosures not your Uncle VIII
lie, by the bye-Wended our way to the
house of worship of the upper crust.
You know the scripture says some
thing about it being better to be a
gate keeper at a national league game
than to be one Of the fans at an anna
teur contest, so we chose to be the
gate-keeper.
"The usher, one of those patronlz-
ingly uppisn blokes, showed us to
seat about half way between the pro-
minence in front and the eminence be-
hind and, after two old hens VINO
wanted to be the whole show had NOV
ed over to make way for liberty and
her husband, we found ourselves COM
fortably seated, but screened in from
all the world without by brace of Mer-
nv Widows, the little chap-so my wife
told me-with mis- goatee turned up at
both ends, went through long mono
logue about something that was no
concern of mine, and l found myself
admiring the goldred hair of the young
lady Just ahead. Talk about red hair,
Leo: she had it all. never knew be-
fore that a hat could be made big
enough to cover so much wool. Then
a lot of croakers in the gallery sang a
song about something or other, and the
dapper young man, who kept looking at
the pretty girls in the congregation, an
nounced that on some day or other the
Female Workers Assassination OF the
World would meet with Mrs. SO and
So: that on another day the Homer
than Thou society for the frIendless
would meet in the church parlors 10
see what could be done to better the
| conditions Of mankind.
Right there, Leo was where l for
got what or where I was, and as the
nuts in the stable loft sent to high
heaven such a volley of discords as
ever human ears had heard, l plunged
deep into my vest pocket, and, while
nv wiley was counting the pearl but
tons on the back of the waist OF tne
woman in front, produced a gooa olu
sWig of that sOlidified dope caAea
| yellowstone" Say, kiddo, that's
great stunt; I'd give five years OF my
life to meet the man with enough OF
. top-knot to work that out.
"The result was felt at once, ana
mechanically l raised my foot ABOUT
! six inches to get the sensation OF
| standing at the familiar bar While the
muts sang another selection, but the
| failure of the mirror to reflect the
| usual scene spoiled it all. The preach
| err shot his wad, all right, all rlsh,'
what I didn't hear would MI pls
| book for, after hitting the pocket foi
| several consecutive times manu- VII
| ming. I was sailing on clouds WIN 10
| to lining. and didn't care WAethei
| sohool kent or not But the preacher
Lont shooting and I kept eating the
candy. until. so my wife tells me,
! dozad off to sleep, and caused the petlte
female at the front to gather her skifts
about her lest the swine might sou
thom Rut she later discovered mat
was the cause of the gruntlnS.
| INV wife says she was mortliieu'
,,en,+ but take tip from me, ola
nan that stolified booze is one VI tlie
greatest inventions OF TIE age '''0
1;Lo to meet the man who propouhueo
such an idea. Say I'll bet old man N~
ton has every pocket full OF the oope
while his wiley with her lltlle ia -.
is doing business with the pooze Joi-i''
; j., Kansas And maybe Hockey uses
il while instructing MS SUNDAY sc'l''
class. .o,,o,-.
well. 1 must go, Leo, but osiiez,
me. youngster, when you t-ilhN c ~ o,.v
going TO get in tight place M -,
vest pockets up, and the ga th"as w.
be straightened, yea, even IKE uii'o s.l
Northern Pacific track between Aei
and Dayton"
BIG MONEY AGENTS, FFtElE