The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-08-02

, grass grow under his feet when it comes
to improvin' things"
>"Come on, professor" says I, dignified.
we'll never get through If you keep
on pipin' off birds"
So FitzGibbon he CLUES his eye to the
binocs. shakes EN- impatient that way.
aSd after a minute he exclaims. amazed:
'Glug!"
For a second it had me going. but !
tumbles and out comes my pencil and
puts something that begins with and
ends in a blind trail
''Glug. check says /.
"Blub!' almost shouts FitzGibbon.
There amt no mistaking his estacsy. but
I'm getting leary-it's beginning to make
in South Africa
But I've got to take 1t
"Glug." says /. .Blub, equation two"
heard that some time before.
"Douse the muchness of this" says 1,
close to the thing FitzGibbon listens with.
They'll throw US into the lake.
Mark twain" shouts FitzGibbon. and
he takes the binocs from his eyes and
/ wipes his forehead.
Mark twain" says /. as steady as
can, and puts down two big strokes And
| then I begins a system of calculation that
would make Archimides wish he'd never
invented a screw.
Professor" says /, solemn, 1.-THE best
I get is only 1885, and 1 plussed the bluh
twice. What do you make of it,
Its all right DOCTOR" says FitZGibbon,
II reckon our perihilion isn't on straight. .
And right there my admiration for F1tz-
| GibbOn increases.
TRY once more; maybe we can get
arc" says ].
The next jolt ] gets is-slow and meas
ured:
| -Four. eleven, forty-four-"
"Ah." ! says with a sigh of relief that
| was a mighty effort for duck whose
brow is covered with quarterback beads
of cold sweat. And at that minute l wish
somebody in that crowd of fifty had
| thrown FitzGibbon into the lake; l was
desperate enough to DO it myself Es,,nc,,,,on
whack on the back of the neck that he'll
use pain killer for. Professor, it solves
the problem. Wen clean up our notes to-
morrow says /. gathering up a hat full
| of notes that I'd been making all the time
Wen try her again tomorrow night"
How much d. We get now with them
glasses?" asks O'Sullivan.
| I didn't know just what he meant but
| FitzGibbOn was the dealers rake-off II
I'VE never pressed 'em to the limit
but the last time we has 'em In, we
gets"
| Gets the fifth Of a complete arc be.
| tween the perihelion and the aphelion anC
| then some: but the ascendancy was I'M
| proper and the declensions was confused
we would, but tomorrow Professor Fitz
/ Gibbon is going to put the logarithm or
and / think we'll come out with about
eight-one tenth kilowatt hectometers thi:
time" or we comes out at ALL says
| to myself)
Saw, maybe / wasn't up against II fol
| words in that speech. / raked up all tnt
astronomy dope that I'd ever heard. ant
some more that sounds scientific but aim
| astronomy, nohow.
And then I proceeds to put my foot into
| still deeper.
Professor" says /. IT am not at al
sure that they gave us the right formula.
Judas, / should think not" says Fitz
| Gibbon, 1.-THE last time / sampled tina
formula / had to drink blue Vitriol for
chaser to ease the burning"
How it is they didn't fall is more thar
I Grams into brain cells; but l know on
thing and that amt two things: the mex
time FitzGibbon and me does the gas
Economical observation foS a headliner. IT
me that's goin' to do the observin' ant
FitzGibbon the logarithms. If that's VIVA
you call 'em.
Fitz seems unable for to subordinate hi
| vulgar brand of humor to the dignity o.
the occasion and the interests OF science.