davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15
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rocking.chair, she found that, with the
help of the rowing machinei she had
lost nearly two pounds, mostly OH. the
end of her elbow.
The next day Mrs. Cooper; who
weighs about GAG, told. Aunt Martha
that she wasn't using the best kind
of physical torture, 80 Uncle Peter
was once more chased of to the store,
where he bought one of those rubber
contrivances you fasten on the wall
and then try to pull 1t off again with
the handles. .
Bright and early the next morning
Aunt Martha grabbed the handles,
and was getting away from her obes.
ity at the rate Of an ounce an hour,
when suddenly one Of the rubber
strings broke and something kicked
gets her coloratura. t
When Aunt Martha fell wounded on
the field of battle every picture on
the walls fell with her, and there
was such crash that the cook thought
the end of the, world was coming. SO
ouO ldu III luC uiiCCtlOH VI
Paterson, NJ j. - 49,.
They had to pour about bucket
of water over Aunt Martha's map be-
fore she came to, and then she found
that all she had lost by this new proc
ess was her breath and a couple Of
side combs.
Mrs. Gaddings dropped in that day
and told Aunt Martha that the only
way to reduce the flesh is to take h
long walk; SO Auntie picked out a
long walk and took It,
After she was gone about six hours,
and it was getting dark, she called
Uncle Peter UP on the long distance
telephone and broke the news to him
that she had walked Is miles, and that
she had been SO extravagant she had
used up all the walk that was in her,
and that she would have to stay there
in foreign land alone, among utter
strangers, unless he sent a cab for
her.
When Aunt Martha got home that
night she found that all the flesh she
had lost was her pocketbook with ten
dollars in 1t, and Uncle Peter lost
about ten dollars for cab hire, making
a total of four pounds. English money.
A day or two later Mrs. Carruth.
ers told Aunt Martha that the only
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15
SHE GOT HER mAN--HApPY.
indian Woman Not Likely to Be Left
Far Behind In LIES Battle. y

Writing Of the famous Dean Kaye
Of Topeka, in Suburban life, Paul a.
Lovewell, says: 4
Dean Kaye has had interesting ex.
periences during his soujourns in the
wilderness. Once an Indian woman
came to his cabin. <
You marry?' she asked. 4
Yes said the dean, I can marry
folks. Have you got MANI =
Again the woman grunted, andt de-
parted. About shutdown she returned.
dragging with her an apparently
abashed and reluctant brave.
Got him. she remarked, laconical-
ly, producing her marriage license.
The man knew no English, but, the
woman prompted him when 1t became
necessary for him to give his assent
to the deans questions. When 1t was
over the squaw paid the minister his
fee and led her husband away in tri.
umph,"
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15
Had Poor opinion Of Or. Hall.

Rev. DR.. Charles F. Aked's expert.
ence with would-be convert which he
related to his congregation in New
York bears close resemblance to an oc.
currence which the late Rev. DR.. John
Hall spoke of several years before his
death. A man came to him and said
that he had resolved to renounce his
faith and to devote the rest Of his life
to the conversion Of the Jews. although
all his friends were Of that persuasion
He told of the eagerness of hundreds
to follow him and wanted to have the
management Of mission, II the
church would pay the expense Of main.
tanning 1t. DR.. Hall said he would
consider the matter. made inquiry as
to the mans character and when he
called for an answer declined the offer
with thanks. The man seemed to be
disappointed, used disrespectful Ian.
guage and said to the Scotch maid
who showed him to the door: Hes a
hard man to do business with"
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15
MINISTER A BUSY MAN.
Virginia Pastor Caters Not Alone to
Souls of His Pensioners.

Mr.. r. ]. Mckay, assistant general
passenger agent Toledo, st. Louis &
Western and Chicago & Alton rail-
roads, in his travels through the east
recently noticed in certain Virginia
newspaper the following advertise
ment:
REV. GEORGE w. WHARTON
Carries a Full Line OF
STAPLE AND FANCY GROCERIES.
OH, OYSTERS!
He receives almost daily, fresh, first-class
Oysters, at moderate prices.
FRESH FISH
Various kinds of Fresh Fish In season,
the very best, to tempt the epicurean
taste.
MATRIMONIAL MATTER.
Rev. Mr.. Wharton's residence is a mecca
for marrying couples. 30 Just gain the
consent of your best girl. secure the IL
csnse, and together with a fat fee. give
him call, and he will perform the cere-
mony in the most approved STYLE
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

Woman says one Of the results Of
the extension of the franchise to
women in Norway is that henceforth
women employed in the postal service
are to receive the same pay as men.
Norwegian women are greatly rejoic-
ing over this victory. They deserve
the pay, whatever it Is, but 1t must
be remembered that even mems sal.
aries or wages in that Independent
country are small. Ths American
wage Garner would look cross-eyed at
its postal remuneration.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

stout, and the old lady promptly fell
for every obesity cure known to mod
ern science.
Even at top weight Aunt Martha
doesn't go over 154 pounds, but she
got the idea in her head that COM
pared with her Barnum's original fat
lady was pikerette, so she decided to
go after that obesity thing with an ak.
We tried to flag her and talk her
out of it, but she waved us all back,
and said she'd made up her mind she
wasn't going through this world lead
ing double chin.
Well, Bunch, Aunt Martha started In
to put the sabots to the fatty tissue,
and for week Uncle Peters peace
full home across the road looked
like a moving picture entitled "The
Original Rough House."
First flop out of the box Mrs. Grim
shaw, who weighs 27s in her war
paint, told Aunt Martha that exercise
was the only thing to keep down the
to town for a rowing machine, set
of Indian clubs and proud assert
ment Of deaf and dumb bells.
Presently the muscle goods arrived,
and next morning about daylight Aunt
| Martha jumped on board the rowing
machine and bore away to the north.
west, with strong ebb tide on the
| port bow.
She was about four miles up the
river and going hard when strap
broke, whereupon Aunt Martha went
overheard with splash that upset
most of the furniture in the room and
knocked her manicure set down be-
hind the bureau.
One Of the oars went up in the air
and landed on the bridge Of Uncle
Peters nose, because his face hap
pened to be in the way when the oar
came down.
When loving hands finally pulled
Aunt Martha out Of the Interior Of hel
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

Formerly when a man wished to
marry, in France 1t cost him not less
than $40 for the 10 separate certifi-
Gates which he was compelled to Sc
cure before the ceremony could be
performed. The Able Lemaire con-
cluded that this expense and the trou-
BILE incident to securing the certifi-
Gates prevented many marriages, and
succeeded in persuad.ng parliament to
change the law and simplify the mar
rying process. Since the new law went
into effect, about year ago. there
have been nearly 5000 more mar
riages than in any similar period since
1879
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

The fashionable wedding journey for
British Columbia couples is tour Of
the coast. The Canadian Pacific rail
way has just added to its steamship
service honeymoon boat" which has
300 honeymoon staterooms." There
are only 80 second-class berths on the
steamer, since, of course, no bride
groom would accept inferior accommo-
dations. Bachelors may use the cheap
er quarters.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

There are scores of small crops
which do not get in the regular re-
ports, and yet which add materially
to the natural wealth of the country.
Here, for instance, is California send
ing to market an output of apricots
which will net the raisers the snug
sum of $1,250,0OO. And there are
scores of other small fruits which
swell the impressive total.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

The engagement bracelet" is a
plain fat band Of pure gold which
is fastened tightly on the wearer's
arm by an invisible spring or tiny
lock and key, the latter being worn
by "the other one" In the former case
when once on. the bracelet cannot be
removed except by small needle es-
pecially manufactured to touch the
spring in minute hole which is left
for its insertion. Engagement brace.
let's may cost any price the fance
chooses to give. Try one.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

went after the electric bath Uncle
Peter turned the current on himself
to- make. sure. and when Auntie
stepped in 1t she accidentally put her
foot on an ohm or something, which
tickled her so that she let a blood.
curdling yell out of her that could be
heard for II miles as the crow flies.
Then she put her other foot down,
and that landed on volt or an am.
pere or some foolish dingus which
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

sure cure for obesity was to take cleo
trio baths, 30 Uncle Peter had one
rugged up which was a great shock to
his pocketbook.
AS soon as 1t was up Aunt Martha
went inside of the framework and sat
among the electric lamps with only
her head out in the atmosphere for
about two hours.
Then she came out smiling, and said
she felt fine and that she must have
lost ten pounds.
Uncle Peter peeped inside to look
the bath over, and found that she had
forgotten to turn the current on.
Next morning when Aunt Martha
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

A clergyman Of Bath. Pa, while on
his vacation each week sends to each
member of his congregation sermon
printed on a postal card. Next year
his parishioners may time their vaca-
tions so as to be out of town when
he goes away.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15
Cause Of Leaves Change Of Color

When sap ceases to flow In the au-
tumn. and the natural growth Of the
tree ceases, oxidation in the leaves
takes place. Under this oxidation the
leaves change to red, or. with slight
change of the condition, 1t might be
yellow or brown. This, however. 10
only the chemical explanation. Life.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

New York is still searching for
methods by which to make Its sub.
way traction system endurable as we'll
as rapid. The best way would be to
pull it up by the roots and construct
q good one.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

New York is planning theater to
be exclusively for the managers. and
critics, the public being barred. The
public will agree enthusiastically that
in many cases this will fill long-felt
want. .' 49,.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

A Georgia woman claims to be the
original merry widow, though evil
dence is lacking that she is about
5000 years old.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

The smart set is not likely to take
up smuggling as fad in view OF re
cent developments.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

The woman mountain climber was
lost just long enough to make mag
azine article salable.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

J., r Mr.. Rockefeller says he is not-near-
ly 30 rich as he is pop1larly supposed
ito be- In other, words, he does not
quite own the. earth. - - .
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

Pennsylvania man finds dollar
: which. he lost 81 years ago. And he's
probably feeling sore because II he
. had put 1t out at interest he would
now have four times as much.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

Boston bank arms all employees and
insists on daily target practice. Yet
some people think Boston is slow.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15
MATRIMONIAL MATTER.
Why Ha Escaped.

Two men who had not seen each
other since they parted after an ocean
voyage that was noteworthy for Its
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

Holland may decide to use some Of
its wooden shoes when 1t gets ready
to spank Castro
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

!, Kentucky twins look alike, think
alike, act alike, talk alike, write alike,
and; are duplicates through all the
rest of the list. Hope they don't fall
.1inal love with the same man.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

Preacher on. vacation sends postal
card sermon to each parishioner every
week. Here comes the mail-order
church. ..s.. ....
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

This certainly does. not seem to be
much of year for sultans.
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

ST, A., Pi4sburg. girl offers $3.50 for a
h. husband. Too much to pay. You
cam pick one up for 1888 almost any
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15


Miss Mary Boyle O'Reilly, daughter
Of John Boyle O'Reilly. as president OF
the st. Elizabeth guild of Boston, is
making an effort to ameIiorate the
conditions of the working girls In that
city. AS the result Of personal inves.
LEGATIONS, Miss O'Reilly estimates that
there are about $4,000 dodgers in the
city. the majority of them working
girls. young and inexperienced. and
with no protection against the com.
plexities of city life. AS cure for
the many evils Of the public lodging
houses Miss O'Reilly believes that all
such houses should be- controlled by
a municipal agency and all should be
under the supervision of corps oi
competent women inspectors
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15
THE JASPER NEWS
ROLAND B. GRIFFITH, Editor.

JASPER. ......... $3.50. MISSOURI
The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-10-15

or, as we would say. vital power. has
to bear part. II branch is entire
ly cut off from the main plant. no
change Of color occurs. On the other
hand, If branch is injured, though
not entirely cut of from the tree, a
change of color takes place, even II It
be midsummer. In other words. chem.
istry alone cannot account for the
bright colors of autumn foliage; the
mysterious power we call life has to
work at the same time.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16
Perhaps it was red,

sue. 1t deals almost entirely with the
first year of his administration but it
presents the matter with such force
and clearness that no one need he left
in doubt upon any question if he will
only read it. He puts the pardon crit
les to fight with the most forceful plea
ever read by Tennesseans and one that
could only have been written by pen
dipped in fountain of mercy. No
governor was ever defeated in Tennes-
see for being merceful and never will
be so long as women shed tears and the
milk of human kindness flows in the
soul of man. 1t was great speech
and puts the governor in class by
himself and nothing but death can de-
feat him.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16

Mr.. Finely. sis being constructed con-
tiguous to the line of the Southern rail-
way at point in North Carolina and
there it developed last week that the
engineers in the employ of the South
& Western were conducting operations
in disregard of the rights of the South
ern railway, encroaching upon its
property and even by blasting, inter
rupting traffic and putting the South
ern line temporarily out of operation.
TO prevent these encroachments the
Southern railway company has OBJ
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16
Old Bonds Not Located

Nashville, Tenn, April 10.-The
1874, 900 Of old bonds which the funding
board has authorized Treasurer Folk
to call in and cancel, have never yet
been located. Treasurer Folk applied
to the treasurer of Nebraska to ascer-
tain if their bonds were held by that
state, as has been supposed, but has
gotten no reply. If the bonds are not
held by Nebraska and no information
can be obtained regarding them soon,
the funding board will order the inter-
est on them stopped.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16
YOU MUST PAY.

We regret the necessity for again
calling your attention to the fact that
YOU owe The Comet o small amount
that we need very much, and if You do
not need the amount due us we would
be glad if you send it in. Subtract the
number on your liable from the whole
number, 1910 this week, multiply by 2,
and remit the result. This must be at
tended to at once.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16
STATEMENT BY FINLEY

Washington, April 13-W. W. Finley,
president of the Southern railway, said
today regarding the dispatches in the
papers concerning reported contro-
vercy between the South & Western
railroad and the Southern railway, that
the Southern railway was not endeav-
oring to prevent the construction of
the South & Westerd railway; and that
the relations of the arrangements OF
the two companies have been entirely
amiCable.
1.-THE South & Western line," said
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16

Parks Worley defeated Newland for
representative, last Saturday, in Sulli-
van county by 242 woes. 1t was
great victory. The many friends OF
Mr.. Worley all over the state are re-
joicing. 1t will be great boost for
him in his race for speaker.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16

If all the reports in circulation about
the methods employed by the friends
of Newland in the primary last Satur-
day, ae true, it would appear that the
anti-saloon force up there believe more
in the power of money and liquor than
they do in persuasion and prayer.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16

Carmack has made several recent
statements on the question of prohibi'
ton, and each one is SO ambiguous
that it can be construed to meet the
views of the state wide prohibitionistt
and also the local option people. Il
like he was trying to scare the saloons
to death without defining q method tt
drive them out of the state.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16

The Brownsville States Graphic has
been leased by John r. Greene to Il.
M. Jackson and J. d. Greene, and the
senior Greene will retire. The paper
is one of the best in the state and will
continue to be under the new manage
yoapt
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16
He Got What He Needed.

"Nine years ago it looked as if my
time had come" says Mr., @. Farthing,
of Mill Creek, Ind. Ter. II was so run
down that life hung on very slender
thread. 1t was then my druggist re-
commended Electric Bitters. l bought
bottle and | got what | needed
strength. | had one foot in the grave,
but Electric Bitters put it back on the
turf again, and I've been we'll ever
since" Sold under guarantee at IL,
Q. Miller's drug store, so cents.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16
FOR TAX ASSESSOR

We are authorized and paid to an
nouce SAM W. SHIELDS, as q candi.
date for TAX Assessor of WASHINGTON
COUNTY, subject to the action OF the
REPUBLICAN primary. If nominated
and elected fair and square deal will
be extended to all.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16
FOR SHERIFF

We are authorized and paid to an
nounce ARTHUR HARTSELL, as a
candidate for the nomination OF SHEER
tFF of WASHINGTON COUNTY, subject to
the action of the REPUBLICAN primary
on April 30. If nominated and elected
Mr.. Hartsell promises to give strict
business administration.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16
The wolf will get very hungry before
Patterson lets him have his dinner.

The Carmack button asks, "Shall the
people or the machine rule ?" AS Car
mack runs the only machine Tennessee
has ever had and Patterson is the first
governor the people have elected in
years, the question is pertinent.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16

The local military company will get
their new Springfield rifles in q few
days aud will also receive two modern
92-calibre galley practice rifles
Hon. James Sans, of Erwin, was a
prominent visitor to the city Tuesday.
He ia being mentioned as q candidate
for foater, and if he decides to make
the race will get the nomination at the
hands of the democratic party without
opposition.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16

When John Strong returned to
Jonesboro last week, after being
mourned as dead for five years, he
found his wife married to another and
with two additional children. He and
the second husband agreed to let the
woman decide which one she would
take, and she chose the first one. This
ought to be a pointer to second hus-
bands.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16

We offer one hundred dollars reward for any
case of catarrh that can not be cured by Hall s
Catarrh Cure. r j. CHENEY & Co.. Toledo, o.
We the undersigned, have known f. ]. Che
ney for the last Is years, and believe him per-
fectly honorable in all business transactions
and financially able to carry out any obligation
made by his firm.
WALDING. KINNAN & MARVIN.
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O.
Halls CatarrE Cure is taken internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous surfa-
ceS Of the system Testimonials sent free
Price 70 cents per bottle. Sold by all druggists
Take Hail. Family Pills for constipation.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16
NOtiee Of DISSOLUTION Of Partnership,

The copartnership heretofore existing
between Dugan & Allen has this day
been dissolved by mutual consent, /
A. Allen assuming all the assets and
liabilities of the grocery store and X.
L. Dugan the assets aud liabilities OF
the Dugan and Alien Cafe.
(Signed) R. L. DuaAN,
s9.4t I. A. ALLEN.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16

tanned an injunction against the con-
tinuance of the specific and purely To-
cal wrongs which it has sustained. 1t
is hoped that the controversy will be
promptly disposed of.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16
WHAT SHALL WE HAVE FOR DESSERT?

Try JELL-O, the dainty, appetizing. econom-
cal dessert, Can be prepared nstantly-simp-
~ add boiling water and serve when cool
Flavored just right; sweetened Just right; per
feet in every way A 10c package makes enough
dessert for large family. All grocers sell it,
Don't accept substitutes, JELL-O complies
with all Pure Food Laws Z flavors:-Lemon,
Orange, Raspberry, SStrawberry, Chocolate,
Cherry, Peach.
The comet. (Johnson City, Tenn.) 1884-1916, 1908-04-16

John W. Bell has just been elected
secretary OF the Ossining Printing and
Publishing Co., Of Ossining, N. Y,
publishers of the Daily Citizen, OF
which he is also manager. John is ona
OF our boys and Is climbing upward
and never looks back.