davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

place like that. where the No. man had
job.
A couple of days later the young fellow
from Toronto came a-whooping down to
New York, having read in the Toronto
papers how he'd been jObbed. He ex-
pected to find the tickle sweetheart here,
and maybe he had few personally con-
Quoted things to say to her. But she'd
done gone away with her husband. Then
the young fellow from Toronto proceeded
to embark upon one gigantic jag. He
kept 1t going as long as his coin. about
a thousand iron men, lasted, and then
he found himself pinched for dtsOrderly
conduct in that he was trying to bite the
arms of Of ten or fifteen cops down on
Whitehall street. Luckily he was brought
before a magistrate who possesses a keen
knowledge of human nature. Said the
magistrate to the decent enough young
chap from Toronto:
"Son. I've heard and read all about your
case. I sympathize with you to a certain
extent / can even understand why you
went out and picked up the seagoing bun
you had with you when you were arrested.
But forget it. Forget all about it. There s
girls to burn. boy. Girls everywhere.
There must be plenty of girls in Toronto.
look around here in New York and you'll
see more girls than anything else. There
are too many girls In the world for any
man to worry himself to death, or drink
himself into police court, about just one
of 'em You may think that the world
has come to end for you without the one
who married the other fellow the other
day-but forget all that moonshine. It's
piffle Go home and behave. You've got
pretty square jaw. What you want to
do is to feel sorry for the other fellow.
A girl who'll nag a man the way this one
tagged you-well. the other chap is the
one for you to sympathize with. You're
dischargedr
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

The made-up woman considered for a
moment she tapped her foot, and .hen
she gaZed at the cottager, portly mid
dle-aged man, with a great assumption
of girlish winsomeness.
You have troubles?" she said to the
eottager. with her head cooked to one
side.
None that a dyspepsia tablet or so
won't fix." replied the man. 'Why?"
. IT am healer of troubles" replied the
woman producing card with Mental
Healer under her name. Il teach re-
pose Of mind. I exercise cares by teach
ing people to take the opposite thought
T."
You'll probably do better on the op-
posite Of the street madam" said the
cottager, somewhat annoyed because he'd
been salaaming rather unnecessarily, and
she went down the steps with toss Of
her head.
A rough-looking' chap. evidently a for
eigner, with a bullet head and layer
of fat on the back of his neck. wheezed
up the steps a few minutes later.
"Palms?' he said to the cottager.
hoarsely.
Hey? Palms in midsummer? What
for?" said the cottager.
IT mean, do you want your palms ret
alretty yet?" said the bullet head.
do want my palm read. especially
before I've read the front page headlines
of my newspaper? Get out.' and the
palmist went down the steps hurriedlt
and in an obvious state Of alarm.
A little while later a puffy-faced wo-
man, decidedly bedraggled as to her raj
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

clergyman. and it set forth the statement
that this deserving German had had a
lot of domestic and other trouble In the
old country and that whatever little
amounts of money-nothing but money
was mentioned-might be bestowed upon
him by charitably inclined persons
wouldn't be wasted. The cottager took
another look at the bulgy. we'll nourished
carcass of the German, and handed him
back his letter.
They need roller chair pushers on the
Boardwalk, and you look pretty HUSKY"
he said to the man. ION your way"
Me push Won oof dem t'ings?" snorted
the German who had no English, indig-
nantly returning the letter to his breast
pocket. and then he hustled down the
steps to escape the cottager's rapidly ap-
preaching shoe toe.
The Washingtonian had barely resumed
his paper before trig but excessively
kalsomined and otherwise made-up wom-
an Of middle age tripped up the porch
steps with a fine stimulation Of youthful
lightness. The cottager put aside his pa
per and rose and bowed.
1.-The lady-can I see herr" inquired the
kalsomined one.
She's breakfasting In bed-Im the only
one up yet said the cottager. ANY
thing I can do for your"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

to blow 1t within a month or so, any
how.
Therefore you are content that he shall
go on having his savedup two thousand
and-odd bones. If he'll only keep still
about it; IL he'll only take away that
noise he makes about why you. too. ought
to get on your saving clothes.
But he won't. No, sir. he will not. He
refuses to. He's going to keep right at
you about saving. He's going to force
you to see the advantages, the benignities.
of saving. He's going to put it square be-
fore you.
He's going to MAKE you save.
He has a thousand ways Of tackling
you. He's with you. for example. when
you buy couple of cigars for two bits.
Rotten extravaganza" he says to you
as he sinks his teeth into one of the two
for-a-quarter smokes. Perfectly rotten.
Where dye expect you'll pull up II you
keep right on hurting your dust away like
that? I know, but I won't say. I'd hate
to say. Doggone 1t all, I will say it
you'n pull up on the poor farm. that's
where you'll pull up. Idea Of chucking in
25 cents for two piffling smokes! You
must be crazy! Look at me. I smoke
stogies. Get a hundred Of 'em for a hum
dred cents. And they're every blamed bit
as good as these two-for-a-Quarter things.
Fellow gets used to 'em. I'd rather smoke
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

number Of chances out Of such and-such q
number to go right on living until you
bury the last member of this years baby
crop. He jumps upon you for trying to
fetch in that milk wagon and tells you
that thesgrave defect Of your character Is
frivolousness- The very fact that you'd
begin to talk about milk wagons and
wishbones and Oak Hills and things when
he was trying to lead you to your duty
your duty TO your family well as to
yourself-in the matter of getting some
money together why, that very fact
shows that the grave defect OF your char.
acter Is righteousness. 1t sure is. He's
sorry to see II, too. He's noticed 1T for
years, but he never wanted to say any
thing about 1t to you.
Sad nuisance. this saving friend OF
yours. Sad, really. Because You can't
come right out and tel him to take that
noise away. He's always a good. solid.
well-meaning sort of a chap, you see. and
you know very well that he sincerely has
your interest at heart. If you tel him
to forget that stun and talk base bal.
he'll be offended. There's really nothing
that you can tell him that'll stick any,
how. The only thing you can do is to
keep right on apologizing to him, year
after year. dozens of times each year, for
spending your own hard-earned money the
way you feel like spending it,
1t sure is orful, Mildred. how many
otherwise good people there are in this
world who suffer from atrophy of the
imagination and things.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

United States Senate. 1t may we'll be.
But it is one of those for-sure things that
II MIR. Ryan were to proclaim himself. in
New York. as a candidate for the job OF
keeper of the German carp in the Central
Park fish ponds he probably would get
himself arrested for seeking to get his
name on the ticket under false pretenses.
It's all about transfers. Transfers? /
mean lack of them. To do a bit Of para
phrasing. they amt no SIGH thing as
transfers. worth mentioning. in New York
any more.
And the shutting down Of transfers is
easily traceable to Thomas Fortune Ryan.
Behind Ryan in that business was q man
whose name used to be mentioned with
honor in this town, but 1t is so mentioned
no more He was member of Mr.. Cleve-
lands first cabinet He was the oriSina-
.or of the scheme to sew the street rail-
way system of New York up in can
vas bag for his own and his associate S
increment. The gang plundered the roads
and the public to the tune of about 500.
100 900. as was revealed at the fnvestiga-
ton of the public service commission. and
now when this dead man who held high
-'a"e in Cieveland's first cabinet Is men-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

two full pages OF write-up. You can
do the writing yourself. and no matter
what you say about yourself, why, f.
goes. And only 500 Just giving 1t
away. Next year we'll get $500 throw
for the same thing. Er-here's a foun-
tain pen." and the rapid young chap
spread out a form of contract and indi-
Gated q dotted line at the bottom which
involved the signatures agreement to
dig up 500 for the Who's Who" thing.
Skip! Beat it.' was the cottager's sole
form of reply. but he said il I'm a way
that denoted how thoroughly he meant
It. The quick young man wasn't in the
least abashed. In fact. there was a GER
tain amount of admiration in the grin
to which he staked the cottager as he
started down the steps.
well, they told me that you weren't
much OF a fall guy, guv'nor." he said,
looking over his shoulder and still grin
ming. But it's all right. No harm
done Say, what's the name Of his nobs
in the cottage next door-the old party
with the white spinach on his map. read
ing the paper on his porch?"
This, the Washington cottager said. is
an absolutely exact record of the grafters
that nudged along to him on his front
porch at Atlantic City within the space OF
an hour and a half one morning. He
didn't fall for any OF the lodges. but a
good many OF the Atlantic City cottagers
do, and the game for the ground and
lofty grafters i'm the Boardwalk town 10
more than middling good.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

toned 1t is usually accompanied by a
snarl on the part OF the mentioner. Right
ly or wrongly. Mr.. Ryan is held to have
finished the job OF giving New Workers
absolutely the vilest surface railway serv-
ice on the globe. That's why peevish
expression appears on the countenance OF
the average New Yorker when Mr.. Ryan
name Is adverted to.
The job of cutting out transfers at in
tersecting surface railway lines has virtu-
ally been completed here now. The result
is that 1t costs thousands and tens Of
thousands of people on pitifully small sal
aries-boys and young women averaging
from 81 to So week. particularly-a dou-
BILE and sometimes triple fare to get to
the places where they work and to get
back to their homes again. Thousands have
20 cents a day. When you take $1.20 a
week away from a girl who gets 81 a week
in store you're putting dent In her
poor little earnings that can't be repaired
The worst feature Of II Is that these poor
folks. who are chiefly affected by the
shutting down of the transfer system.
live mostly In the outlying districts. on
the edge of the town. and they only went
to live in these regions because they never
entertained the thought that the time
would ever come when they wouldn't be
able to ride to and from their work for a
nickel.
You see. the law expressly guarantees
the transfer thing. The franchises under
which these surface roads Of New York
operate embody the explicit stipulation
that the issuance of transfers by all OF
the lines shall be perpetual But what is
a legal guarantee to New York
street railroad? There are plenty of
fifty-thousand-doilar- lawyers in
this town who can prick more blowholes
In any law that was ever framed than
there are in a piece of phony Bethlehem
armor plate.
The job was very easily done In this
case. The one big street railway system
into which all of the New York roads was
merged was tossed into the hands Of re-
ceivers upon the claim that the roads
could not pay dividends. or course. they
couldn't pay dividends upon g. couple Of
hundreds Of millions worth of watered
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

New York hotel register. upon his return
from England. Richard Harding Davis
and man" Some humorist. who was the
next in line to take his pen in hand and
register at that hosiery. saw the way
Davis did il and he scrubbed his registra-
ton this way: James III. Jones-and
valise." And so on. The screech-evokers
more than toyed and toyed with r. Hard
ing Davis and had. oh, coolies and coolies
OF fun with him.
Then the little raps anent Davis
gradually died down. They began to let
him alone. But last week. for some ex-
traordinary reason or other. Davis had
himself appointed deputy sheriff up
in Westchester county, where he Hives
in the summer time.
Can you see the chance that he there
by gave the stringers?
And SO they've broken out all over
again with reference to Davis. and. as
he is extremely thin-skinned. 1t is said
that he is suffering acutely. The funny
lists are saying that Davis wears a
deputy sheriff's pewter badge as big as
a wash basin right alongside the deco
~rations which are said to have been
conferred upon him by various obscure
sultans and people like that They say
that, now that Davis is deputy sherifr.
he'll so rig things in Westchester
county that every citizen of that county
will have to employ valet or go to the
rockpile. Then they go on the string
that every male citizen of Westchester
county win have to have his photo
graph taken three times a week on pain
of incurring the displeasure of the new
deputy sheriff. And so on.
Richard Harding Davis. il is agree
able to be able to report. has got quite
bravely over the somewhat vealy SWELL
uppiness which undoubtedly did char
acterize him when he first blossomed
out a writist. but it seems unfortu
nate that he hasn't. during these mora
mature years. pickd up at least the
nucleus OF a sense OF humor. That he
hasn't done SO is proven by the chance
which he has furnished, by becomino
q deputy sheriff in a much-guyed county
TO the old guard of kidders to take IN
the laughing tools against him again.
CLARENCE L. CULLEN
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

stocks. Very well. The receivers. under
instructions OF a federal Judge. are now
engaged in dissolving the differently
named surface lines back into their origi-
nal independent" positions. That you.
of course, perceive makes 1t easy to stop
transfers. Each Of the little roads, which
are we'll known to still belong to the big
street railway crowd under what Is known
as a gentleman's agreement, can come out
and say that, inasmuch as it Is now a
separate outfit. why, there's no reason
why 1t should issue transfers to other
lines. also separate" and there you are.
1t will be back to the crowded down.
town tenements for tens of thousands Of
poor workers. boys and girls and men
and women. who took the legal guarantee
that transfers would always prevail as
something on the level. and who there
fore moved out into the more open re-
gions.. They can't. of course, dig up more
than a quarter of their weekly incomes
to the surface railway companies. and
so they'll have to grin and bear the out
rage and move back to the cluttered dis
tricts down town.
The merchants. too, who, believing that
the legal guarantee as to transfers
amounted to something established them
selves on the corners where transfers
are bleeding inwardly at the enormous
loss of business which they began to suf
fer the instant the transfers were abol-
ished, and they're holding meetings. the
poor helpless ones. and protesting against
the way they've been jobbed under the
sanction of the law. But they can go
right on protesting. That is the attitude
of the street railway gang.
One Of the receivers of the dissolving
lines not long ago had the audacity to
stick up those Thou Shalt Not Stear'
signs in the street cars, meaning that
passengers who failed to pay their fares
were thieves Every once in a while these
days you'll see some disguised individual
reaching UP and ripping down one OF
these ironically hypocritical signs. amid
the applause Of the other passengers. A
man who wouldn't hold out his fare from
q New York street railway company, IL
he saw he could get away with It, would
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

growled to myself, will they get this pic
ture for any ten. nor for any three times
ten. It's a good picture-a rafting good
picture. And If 1 can't get fifty for it,
why. I'll saw the canvas into shoestrings.
I need shoestrings, anyhow
well, about a week later a man
never saw. before came to my studio. A
chatty, nervous, shrewd-eyed man he
was well dressed, prosperous looking-a
thorough going Yankee, to Judge from the
way he talked.
Anything you want to sell?' he asked
me.
=" oh, a dealerw thought exultantly A
dealer actually looking me up-that was
odd!
'Slews of things to SELL told him
Look 'ern over. All for SALE
HE critically inspected about twenty
canvases that I had Uttered around the
little painting den. and finally he came to
my little Bronx scene.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15
heat oft plays havoc with the veneer Of
AY0N
'SGN02

heat oft plays havoc with the veneer OF
age
THE hopeful hopefulness OF the demo-
cratic campaign managers and their
strenuous claims to be getting along
fine" and making gains" together with
the emphatic deniais OF the losing-ground
stories. reminds one OF that ancient army
yarn. which is still young enough to
point this particular moral.
The I'D Infantry was on a practice
march and was to camp at Podunk for the
night. The day was hot and sultry. the
road rocky and hilly. and every man In
the regiment had a crouch. Finally along
toward the middle OF the afternoon the
van OF the regiment came abreast OF a
5ean-clad farmer, who was sitting on a
fence. chewing a straw
Say. Rube," called the sergeant at the
head or the column. how far is IL TO
Podunk?'
Bout three miles and a half" replied
the rube.
And the regiment marched on. They
marched and marched and marched for
hours and still no Podunk, till along about
dusk the van of the column came abreast
or another tean-clad farmer. sitting on
another fence chewing another straw
Say, Rube. growled the sergeant
again. not so pleasantly this time. ''how
far Is 1t to Podunk?"
The rube considered the question strok-
ing his chin whiskers meditatively.
Bout three and a half mile" he re-
Joined at length.
The regiment stopped. For a minute or
two humiliation threatened the farmer
voice of company wag:
Thank God.' 1t said, solemnly. 1--WE
are holding our own
IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15
WORTH OF FICTITIOUS SIGNATURE @-n%ALa@E

Give you fifty for this he said after
he had examined 1t.
"'God rest you, merry gentleman-'tis
yours said I.
He paid me the fifty and took the pic
ture out under his arm, telling me that
he'd come again some time or other. But
I've never seen him since.
"Well, a few evening ago New York
man Of my acquaintance invited me to his
house to have look at his pictures He
bish, but. then. few good ones. too.
II found that he had more good ones
than rubbish. He showed them all to me
in detail, frankly telling me their prices.
'Then we came to my little Bronx pic
ture Of the other years. 1 recognized il
instantly.
"fNow. here's one Of my Beauties he
said, not noticing my surprise, which you
may suppose was considerable. 1T shows
a bit of the headwaters of the River
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

IHdtlOn9
AT one hotel much patronized by
statesmen of national scope the barkeep-
ers always respond to an order for q
rickey by asking If gin or whisky is
wanted as the main brace. This is be-
cause in Washington that drink is made
as it was invariably made by its inventor.
Col Joe Hickey. with whisky. Neither
Col Hickey nor John Chamberlin, in
whose place the famous drink was first
known. ever put anything but rye in a
rickey.''
Now, all that sounds fine. but 1t doesn't
happen to be true. Washington is. in
deed. the birthplace of the rickey, but the
original of that famous drink was con-
cocted, not by Col. Joe Hickey in Joe
Chamberlin's boarding house. but by
''everybody's friend George A. William
son. and in an equally famous place
Shoemaker's-or. as tits known all over
the United States. Shoes" Moreover.
the first rickey assembled by Mr.. William
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

run into the country, up Westminster
county way, and little Bronx river scene
caught my fancy.
IAN arch of new leaves, very clear
whitey-blue water. a dead oak across a
stream, and lot of sifted sunlight
painted it. and 1t was all right, If I do
say so as oughtn't. I knew it was all
right.
my best dealer offered me $40 for it.
folded the wrapper around 1t and took it
down the line My second-best dealer
offered me So for the little picture.
Again wrapped it up and went on.
Ten was the best offer I could get for It,
though.
so I took it back to my studio-great
name. that, for the little eight by-ten dive
I worked in then-and 1 turned the picture
to the wall.
mot on their everlasting tintypes,'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

the brood of Atlantic City grafters who
confine themselves exclusively to working
the cottages.
He was reading his newspaper on the
front porch of his cottage along toward
. o'clock one morning when stolid-look-
ing German of forty or so. mighty rug
ged seeming chap with fine color and
the look of a somebody with a pretty good
breakfast in him. walked up the steps.
He wasn't badly dressed. either.
''Well?" said the Washington cottager.
The German shook his head, making a
gesture Of depreciation, plainly meant to
indicate that he was shy of English. Then
he produced a gummy letter and handed
it to the cottager. The letter professed
10 be from the hand of an Atlantic City
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

Loire. 1t is by an obscure artist, 1t Is
true-Georges Carteau-but 1t is none the
less a real gem. I prize 1t very highly.
Essentially the new French school. isn't
it? Notice that way OF treating sunlight
This Georges Carteau, l understand. was
a very young artist who died prematurely.
just when he was beginning to gain recog-
milton. Very sad. Ell? Mellow. that sun
light. isn't it?'
oh. delightfully."- mellow said I. quite
candidly. Nice picture. I don't seem to
remember Carteau, though. This thing
proves that he had promise, undeniably.
You got the picture at bargain?'
Well. no. I did not my New York
friend replied. I paid a stin price for
that bit. That's the trouble with some of
these agents-they cruel you SO. I paid
twelve hundred and fifty for that.
liked it. and 1 wanted it keenly. and the
man who sold 1t to me had such an ex-
allied idea of the fame that would come to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-15

cause. not content with saving himself. he
wants you to save. He pleads and ex-
postulates with you to save. He demands
you to save. He ,bullyrags and bulldozes
You to save.
You don't envy him his hard-wrung
couple of thousand at all. You're glad
he has got 1t. You don't, however, feel
that couple of thousand saved up with
such bitter effort would do you,
yourself. any good. You don't want saw
ings wrenched out of the ordinary COM
forts of life in that way. And. II you
had the couple of thousand. a still small
voice tells you that you'd be pretty liable