Semi-weekly herald., 1908-06-08

| DIXIE a1ulCdAc tuAl iOh6 bACkC OA
J wind and hot air near the corner OF
Tenth and MAR. with frequent down
pours OF mountain dew. 1t will be
rather warm In several localities and
many will squirm and chafe with the
heat. The calm In the atmosphere
around Kellenberger's will continue a
week or two--and then look out for q
storm.
THE woopPEcKER WANTED
| TO GET A SHAVE
Frank Lake dropped in to Wesley
| Helms yesterday and wanted shave.
| Wesley had to send out and get a
planer.
See Sears Roebuck's wringers adyer'
tised In this issue They are warrant
AS dry as our Confession -wrung from
| conscience"
| Papa-Don't you be uneasy, Tom,
they can't convict me in this county.
They can stick 1t to Fabian, but not
TO me. ! can always get hung jury
I'd get a few friends on the Jury.
and then thered be q few who'd be
afraid TO render a verdict Of guilty.
SO there's no danger. Why. they could
MT convict me II / was to open a
stand right out there on the corner.
We have at last concluded to sell
the Muck Rake-again II is a good
Investment and will pay interest on
| borrowed money-not counting that
, note at the Smelter City bank We
are tired OF Durango and Durango Is
| tired of us. We have not SO many
years to live. and why not chew the
rag In peace.
/ Satan ito his first lieutenan nt) You
can figure on going on the retired List
pretty soon; there's fellow In DrI-
range I've had my eye on for 4 long
time that can raise more he'll than
all you fellows put together. Ill Just
have to get him.
The editor Of the Muck Rake admits
having raised much cain and general
disturbance, but the poem published
J today really flatters US. although we
are doing our best to do for Durango
, what the devil did for the section
decided the devil along the Rio Grande.
! Col. Night-Tom, do you suppose
the people are really onto the fact that
used to sell whisky without II
cense. and that to young meny
Corporal Tom-Well. you see, your
reference to Fabian was ifitimed You
see Fabian has the edge ON you. He
does not pretend to be seif.righteous
and he sells better article than you
dished up.
Tom-say. Col. Night. wish you
would let up on the board Of trade.
| Col Night-Why so7
Tom--Well. you know when the
board was recrganized a few years
ago Joined and because the majority
refused to elect me a member YOU
would not let me pay the monthly duei
and there is a big bill charged aSains,
me on the books Of the association
You remember I used to receive q
monthly dun. and as l go down thu
street urchius even cry. There goei
a nice specimen to criticise other peo
pie" Again the board will not dis
up. I know the directors and they
are not the kind to put up hush money
It's a shame there Is not grasi
growing on First street. Here We have
been running the Muck Rake = Ions
time and every issue advising our peo
pie to send to Sears, Roebuck 4 Co
for everything they want. II thers 1,
anything that will make grass grow
on the streets Of any town It u send
ting out for your supplies. The Mucl
Rake Is really becoming weary ove
refusal Of the people to follow our I'd
vice.
Il II you DO not like our policy you cal
buy US out
The bankers are guilty-guilty O
taking their ads out when We neede.
the coin. And then they refused b
buy US out, and this makeo then dou
bly, guilty and they must 20 TO tn
, pen. will show them what II mean
) 70 oppose Col David Fitsm NisAt.
Let ~ havs Aastllnsay.