The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-10-15
DRIFT WOOD

A penny in a slot machine and then get perfectly furious because he thing wouldn't work;
 As soon as confidence In you is shaken you will be-
 It is nothing but a waste of time and money to make child practice on the plano when she has no ear Tor ihu- sic, but some mothers tnlnK lt M az necessary for the child as her feed ana clothes.
 "she says her life is one of many Then she's right up to date and ought to go on the stage"
 The Disagreeable Man--come now. young fellow. can't you give me some Fresh Drug Clerk-Sorry but we would not care to buy 1t at any price, Domestic dimculties- discharging the cook.
 There once was a big Russian bomb In the hands of an anarchist glum
 But it never exploded
 For it wasn't half loaded. Now wasn't that bum bomb?
 One time a man has no competition is when he is in love with himself,
 critic-I think your picture Is very Artist-wen I only hope 1t is bad enough to be hung
 When a woman succeeds in persuad- ing her husband to go to church she feels like St. Peter ought to let her through the pearly gates on the Suddenly with a scream of horror every soul on board kneW he was was CT and nearer to land
 Here, hold on that sounds like na- ture fake. How could they feel doom- ed as they got nearer and nearer to Easy enough; you see they were getting nearer and nearer to the bot tom"
 Aren't noorwalkers always the cut est men?
 All. women have long beautiful hair Gin the story books) in real life when the rats come off and they take IL down 1t usually looks like hefty horse had gnawed most of 1t away
 Taft just laughed
 For 1t looked like graft When they put up Billy niysct Bryan
 And Taft will look dejected And hell then feel more like eryin.
 War and rumors of war.
 How few people there are who will assume all the blame of mistake
 There are lots of people in this time trying to save penny
 Many a woman has fine automobile who hasn't fine carriage.
 "Unlucky at cards. lucky at love. . has encouraged mar,. a poor card play CT especially if she happened to be a girl. Women as a rule are more Sup erstitious than men.
 In uncovering an old well in Kan sas the other day a woman fell to the bottom of 1t. In fact there Is hardly anything done these days that hasnt got a woman at the bottom of 1t.
 And Tammany came to the front nobly with $10,000 for the Democratic campaign fund. Three cheers and a tiger
 Taft was in railroad wreck day be- | fore yesterday. The cause was spread | ing rails. He is naturally bulky as an elephant and when the heaviness of his heart at the realization of Bryans 1 coming election is added to it no won- | der the rails spread.
 "oh woman in her hours of ease, sang an old poet He didn't know the | average woman very well or he would have known that she don't have any.
 A California man proposes to make fadyiike man like Edward Box how. for sor' printing The Ladies Home Journal birds Rsspsss4S saSs FSS RSsA'{S5s cgthDer one never hears of desperate married man in view. They have ire | quently been known to grow desper' ate and blow their heads on.
 What has become of the old-fashion' ed lightning rod agent?
 And the old pedler?
 "sammy now that you have ls that horrid bull dog tear your trous CTS. what do you want me to do abou
 Please give me a re-seat for I maw."
 Speaking of artists, rheumatism cal certainly draw the human limbs.
 NuttAnx Time. Oh It's nutting time-October-
 See-she filings 'em from the trees. In the woodlands brown , and sober Hear the squirrels how they chatter
 As they're leaping all around. Hear the brown nuts how they seat
 As they fall upon the ground. Oh its great to be a boy
 Running down the country ways Where his heart leaps wild with joy While the gold red tints of autumn
 Paint the fairest scenes or all As though a Master'd caught ,em
 On his brush to paa1int s5hsssTTsoNErs shss 5aal;