Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-04
JOKING IN THE SHOPS


joking, which was to enter some shop where
he was not known and perplex the clerks by
his queer antics.
In Boston once he went to we'll known
hardware establishment, and approaching a
salesman in a most confidential manner said,
t." l wish to purchase Gibbons Decline and
FAN of the Roman Empire.
This is hardware store. Sir, replied the
astonished clerk.
Sothern seemed nonplussed; but after a
moment he said, lin that case, maybe you
can sell me a copy of Buckles History of
Civilization in England
Sir" said the clerk upon whom it began
to dawn that he had an odd man to deal with,
drunk, perhaps possibly lunatic,-"s sir, as
have told you, this is a hardware store. We
do not H9a sell books"
deaf man.
The clerks face frightened. The customer
was not. then. drunk or crazy, but simply
deaf Accordingly. he drew close to Sothern
and shouted in his ear. This is not a book
store siri'
Sothern reflected for a moment. Il am
finally said. Green would do" s'
The clerk despaired. Look about YOU
sirl" he fairly shrieked. Cant you see by
the stock that this is not book store but a
hardware establishment"
Really" responded Sothern, assuming
tone of irritation, your stock is most limited
No Decline and Fall; no History of Civliza-
ton! What sort of place is this, anyhow"
At this juncture the proprietor entered from
the rear and fastened up to see what was the
difficulty.
What can l do for you, SIR" he asked in
his best professional manner, elbowing the un-
fortunate clerk to one side.
Il should like" said Sothern in his sweetest
voice, to buy small file.
Apolosizins for Perfection
A MOTHER practical joker, Romieu the
critic and musician, was fond of diverting
himself in pretty much the same way as
SOthern.
One day he went into glove store and told
the clerk that he wished to make purchase
but must apologize for his poor French If
she would listen carefully, he hoped to make
himself ineligible. He had always found
the clerks in Paris so intelligent and amiable,
he said that one need not be discouraged even
if he did not speak the language very well.
He would like pair of gloves-kid gloves.
Did she understand All this said in
perfect French, with irreproachable accent
and dioms.
Certainly, SIR" murmured the astonished
clerk.
"Ah, then. will persevere. Kid gloves
pearl gray: Do you understand, pearl gray?"
Yes. sir. You speak French with per-
"A thousand thanks. This is another proof
of the inexhaustible amiability and patience |
which l have noticed in the shops of Paris.
With two buttons, you comprehend!
YES"
1.-THE Parisians are so quick to catch ones
meaning! And will you kindly stretch them.
and put in some glove powder? What is the |
price? | wish my command of French per-
mitted me to express my thanks for the prompt |
ness and courtesy with which l have been |
served"
Whereupon Romieu paid for his gloves and
departed without smile
One the Joker
ONCE, however, the tables were turned on
~ the French joker. He had taken a good
deal of wine evening when he went into a
little watchmaker's shop and assuming the
accent and air of countryman said:
Sir, what do you call these little machines
hanging there?"
Watches replied the shopkeeper.
What are they for?"
ITO indicate the time"
Really! l have heard of them How
much do they COST"
Here is one for two hundred francs and
one for one hundred francs; and here are some
for fifty and twenty-five francs"
Are there printed directions about making
them go?"
No, they have to be wound every day
will you show me how, sr?"
This way. You see it is not difficult"
And must one wind it in the evening or
the morning."
A.