davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
TMain Wasn,t Wnll.

At a dinner to which Mark Twain
was invited his name was associated
with the toast Of Literature" by an
orator. who referred with great elo-
quence TO Homer, Shakespeare, Milton
and-Mark Twain. In response the hui
morist thanked the speaker for his
kindly references and excused himself
from making a longer speech by say.
ing, Homer is dead, Shakespeare and
Milton are no more, and IL don't feel
very well myselfw
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
MunssI, Of PhlllppIns.

During August and September a
many as 1000 to 1900 sacks, each con
tanning nearly 200 pounds Of mussels.
are dispatched every Wednesday from
Philippine alone. Holland, Belgium
and France are the best customers OF
the Philippine mussel farmers, but
quite a number Of the cherished shell
fish find their way across the channel
from the Dutch beds TO the Britishers'
dinner table. In Philippine mussels
form, one may say, the staple food OF
the population. They are consumed in
every possible mRnner-stewod, fried.
in soups, in gravies and with particular
relish alive.-A. Pitcairn-Knowlea IN
Wide World Magazine.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
Talking About the Baby.

When the visitors asked the mother
how old her infant was she replied
without hesitation that he was four
months.
why, no, he isn't,n corrected the IA
ther who sat near by; "be is only three
and a half months"
Il suppose I shall have to learn IT,"
said the young mother resignedly. IT
feel that In very short while shall
be doing the very thing for which 1
laughed at mothers IN the daEz- hafoye
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
Gave Il In Full.

An old Scottish minister took II into
his head to marry his houSekeeper
His precentor being III on the day
when the bauns we're to be proclaimed,
the minister, not caring to make the
intimNtIon himself. arranged with his
herd boy TO do II. snow" he said
you Just call out In loud voice. Proc.
lamatlon OF marriage between the Rev.
Mr.. Murray Of this parish and Jean
Lowe o the samev No, hsr' laughed
the minister as he concluded "Wha'i
hae thocht It" The Sabbath came
round and the congregation assembled
When the moment arrived the lad, who
had duly prepared himself rose and
called out: Proclamation Of marriage
between the Rev. AIR. Murray Of this
parish and Jean Lowe O the ssmel
H0. hs" he laughed, thinking this TO be
a part OF the proclamation. "Wha'd
hae thoCht it?" The effect on the min
lister and the congregation can be inag.
lned.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
EHno. Of Black Paint on ala...

The hazard Of black paint on plate
glass Is, It appears. by no means In
considerable. Signs painted on plate
glass done in solid black paint are In
point Of fact extra hazardous, as plato
glass insurance companies have dis
covered to their cost. The practice OF
painting signs OF this kind seems limo
cent enough, but the experience OF con
sentative casualty companies fully Jus
tifes them In refusing to write such
windows. The explanation OF the haz-
ard under consideration Is TO be looked
for In the property OF black surface
TO absorb the suns rays, by means OF
which, according to writer In Rough
Notes, an unequal expansion Ia pro-
ducod throughout tho plate, and under
the influence Of a sudden gust Of cold
air or any other sudden change In tenn
perature a strain is developed which
skaters the plato glass bearing the
black paint. All black painted signs
IN plate glass, no matter with what
exposure, must be considered az haD-
ardous risks.-Independent
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
A Study In Names.

The names on the little yestibule
plates in New York apartment house
are the subject Of letter from New
York in Vienna paper 81 had TO
stand in the little space" the writer
says, waiting for some one Ave flights
mp to pull string which opens the
entrance door This took a long time,
sud had opportunity to study the
names ot the people In the house.
These we're some Of the names: Beck.
or Schneider, Schuster, Kelner, Schrein.
or, Thurman and Drucker At first
thought that the various apartments
were occupied by persons engaged In
trades named on the little signs, but
this was not so Becker (baker) was n
clerk Schneider tailor was a railroad
employee; Schuster (shoemaker) was
cigarmaker; Kelner waiter was an
electrician; SchPeiner (carpenter) was
q woman, dressmaker; Thurman
(teamsterl was barber, and Drucker
CprinterD was a painter, The person
whom | visited escorted me TO the
door and called my attention 10 one
little sign which ] had overlooked. II
was inscribed Baker That he said,
is the only American family In the
house, and they have boarder whose
name Is Carpenter, Both men are iron
workers. 1t all made me think had
been at a labor union convention"
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
Two Wat0rIoos,

II is a very curious fact that a good
many people do not know that two
battles we're fought at Waterloo. Both
OF these were fought against the
French. the Hryt under the command
Of the Duke OF Marlborough on Aug
H. 1T05. who on this date actually oc.
cupied the same ground as the Duke Of
Wellington did q little more than
century later, June IT, 1915, the only
difference being that the former was
marching on Brussels and the latter
was marching from Brussels. In the
first battle the French werO defending
Brussels. They marched out to meet
Marlborough, but owing to the slack.
ness on the part Of Schlangenburg, the
Dutch general, who was lighting with
him. It was not a success, Marlborough
only taking a few Of the French troops
as prisoners The following one,
fought against Napoleon by yelling
ton. proved to be one of the greatest
victories ever recorded in the annals
Of England.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
Freaks Of the Sea.

The freaks Of the sea are the anglers
and bat fishes. The people OF North
Carolina have aptly named the angler
the allmouth, for the tail begins where
the mouth ends. Inhabitlng the north
Atlantic, the angler has been given a
variety Of names. On the Massachu-
sets coast It IL known as goosehsh.
Rhode Island terms 1t beIlowhsh. and
Connecticut gives It the cognomen OF
molligut. Jamaica bay calls 1t the car
petbagger. England, Ireland, Scotland
and Wales all have their local names,
The names Of the English give TO this
one fish are expressive Of its habits. to
say the least They call It toadAsh,
frog, fishing frog, devilhsh, sea devil.
nassfish, monkfish, pocketfish, wide
gut, kettlemaw and widegap. Thomas
Peunant, who in 1910 wrote his Brit
ish Zoology" did not like the name Of
fishing frog, then applied TO the fish,
so he changed the old name of fishing
frog for the more simple one Of an.
gler."
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
Tn. churehynrd Y,w,. Secret.

why are yew trees found in ccms
teries onlyH" said a forester. WHY
all over the world-savIng here, where
they don't eIist-do you End In GENE.
teries great yews Of immemorial agef
Antlquaries have tried to attach some
druidlc Significance to the matter. Yews
grow In churchyards and nowhere else:
hence they were sacred to the dead in
the time OF the Druids, and It was as
erroneous to plant them in your gar
den as to plant tombstones there.
have exploded that superstition. On n
walking tour Of England one summer
asked every farmer | met why he had
no yews on his place. The answer
was always the same: DO You think I
want to lose my cattler or Had one
but cut 1t down. The beasties got at II,
and yew leaves Is poison to the beast
les Yes, that Is the secret Of the
churchyard yew. 1t grows only in
cemeteries because the farmers have
destroyed 1t everywhere else its leaves
being injurious to live stock. New
Orleans Times Democrat.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
The child,a Advise.

Little Arthur stood peeriDg down into
the countenance Of his baby sister,
whom the nurse was singing to sleep.
Say, nurse" be hnally whispered,
ats nearly unconscious, isn't TT"
The nurse nodded IN the affirmative
and sang on.
Then don't sing any more or yOun
kill itF'-Lippincott's.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
Mia 0nIv Resources,

II used to he the rule In the navy
that officers were required to defray
travelling expenses out OF their own
funds, and upon reporting at the new
sta ton they were reimbursed from the
United States treasury after the usual
delay incident to red tape" Unless
officers had money put by it proved ex-
trau,ely embarrassing to have to meet
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
On the Othsr Side.

A British soldier out walking with
his son saw an old blind beggar with
the inscription on his chest, II Fought
at Waterloo"
The soldier said, with deep feeling:
Give him something. He helped to
save your country"
The child dropped some silver into
the beggar's cap, and the old man
gratefully replied;
'Merci bien. monsieurv'-London
Post.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
Founder Of Electrical Science.

Or. Gilbert OF Colchester, England, Is
generally considered as the founder Of
the science OF electricity. He appears
to have been the FIRST philosopher TO
repeat carefully the observations Of
the ancients and apply TO them the
principles Of scientific investigation.
In order to determine II other bodies
possessed the same property as amber
he balanced a light metallic needle on
a pivot and observed whether or not It
was affected by causing the excited or
rubbed body to approach II. In this
way he discovered that many bodies
possessed the property Of attracting
light substances. Gilbert also discov-
cred the fact that atmospheric condI-
tons have much to do with electrical
phenomena. Gilbcrts book, "De Mag,
nete," may be fairly considered the
pioneer work in electrical science
New York American,
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07

These savage New Zealanders. though
they ate their enemies, inferred their
own dead. and they believed that the
third day after burial the heart sep@
rated itself from the corpse and wa,
carried 10 the clouds by an attendant
spirit.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
A DIplomat.

Benners--what makes you think that
Brown is such a diplomat7 Jenners-
When he was shown his friends baby
for the hrst time he said II had It's
fathers intellect and los mothers beau
ty.-Phlladelphia Telegraph.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
GUARDING The psposiis.

Gentleman About Towu--An' II a
guy swiped coin outer de cup, dyer
mean t say de dog 'ould yelp an grab
him? Near Blind Person-Sure he
would He amt no dummy DIRECTOR
Puck,
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
Tho Sarcastic Victim.

The Barber--Your hair is coming out
on top. SIR. The Crank-Good! I knew
1t was in me. Now, for goodness sake,
don't talk to It or 1t will crawl back
against. Louis Republic.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
A osrtI. Hint.

life at best is but a gloomy prison."
said the morallEing bachelor.
$50 much the worse for men who de-
lIberately choose solitary confinement"
remarked the girl who had her trap set.
bohemian Magazine.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07

AZ The Opora,

"What was the matter with SignoI
He sang the drinking song
wretchedly."
'Yes. think he had been drinking.S
New Orleans Times-D Democrat.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
Tho ORIGINAL New zsalanders.

The original New zsalanders were
known as the most ferocious caunibals
and the most warlike savages. They
were big, gaunt fellows, OF immense
muscular force and great Sagaclty.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07
A Pesajmist,

Agent-How long do you intend to 20
main In washtngton1 ReformSr-Un-
til congress passes a couple Of Neces-
sary laws that Agent-Gee! YO1
font want to rent a house. You'0 bet
.er buy one. Washington Herald.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-05-07

Anger begins In folly and ends In
repentance.-Pythsgoras. .....
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19
MYSTERIOUS DISAPPEARANCE
IN SAN FRANCIsCO

San Francisco, Sept. 19.-The po-
lice are today searching for three
San Franelscans who have mysteri-
ously disappeared from sight during
the past few days. The increasing
nnmber of mysterious disappearance
during the last month has led to a
determined effort on the part OF the
detective bureau to locate a sup
posed gang of thugs that has been
making away with people, and ar
rests are expected.
Edward Craig, formerly clerk ir
the employ of the Northwestern Pa
cific railroad, has been missing since
September 10. He left a wife and
family destitute, and II Is feared that
he has been robbed and made away
with. He was 45 years old and a
man of good habits. He was missed
Just after he had drawn a months
pay, and this leads to the robbery
theory.
Emile eraser, sailor, left tho
home OF his parents last Tuesday, and
has not been seen since.
Frank Gott. cook is missing from
his home. and II is thought he has
met with foul play.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19
THERE ARE BUT TWO GREAT PO.

THERE ARE BUT TWO GREAT PO
LITICAL PARTS, and that each ol
the two has declared in the mosi
emphatic terms not alone in favor
of the Improvement of the water
ways and the harbors Of the country
but In favor OF the conservation OF
its natural resources, notably the
forests, on which the rainfall and
the distribution OF the rainfall SO
largely depend.
In the declaration OF the two
great political parties on the subject,
the question is taken out of the po-
litical field and Is placed on the roll
Of questions WHOSE SOLUTION Is
DEMANDED by ALL BRANCHES
OF TRADE AND COMMERCE., as
conducive to the rightful develop
ment and advancement of all inter
ests Of the United States.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19
BANK DEPOSIT LAW.

Some OF the newspapers are show
ing up the dangers lurking In the
proposed law to safeguard bank
deposits.
II Is the new law OF Oklahoma and
n bank that failed there was able In
half a day TO PAY OFF ALL DE.
PosiTORs.
10 levies n tax on all the banks
OF the state TO make good the fall
ure OF any one OF them.
One objection TO the law Il urged
that u would make the stronger
banks STAND SPONSOR FOR THE
WEAK AND BADLY MANAGED
BANKS.
Another objection IL urged that II
n not the function OF state or ma
tional governments to guarantee de-
posits In banks.
The first objection might have
something to II, but the second Is not
really an objection, BUT MORE A
MATTER or OPINION.
II has not yet been fully determ-
ined what the functions OF govern
ment really are or should be In any
state or nation.
THERR ~ SOMETHING WRONG
WITH THE BANKING SYSTEM
when the whole nation gets is money
tied up In banks and can't get II out
az was the case last fall.
II will be useless for bankers and
government officials TO argue bank
deposit law or any means the people
may attempt TO protest themselves.
n is silly 10 oppose the Oklahoma
bank deposit law just because
Bryan advocates n. and bankers
ARE ONLY HELPING BRYAN BY
so DOING.
The thing to do ~ 20 get In and
devise some plan by which any per-
son putting money In bank will
stand good chance OF getting II out
whom they want a.
II 10 probably true that MUCH
Will ALWAYS DEPEND ON THE
GOOD BUSINESS MANAGEMENT
AND PRUDENCE AND CoNsERVA.
TIsM on TnE MAN BEHIND TnR
BANK.
Hut that ls always true and the
people have all that protection now
and will have u when bank guaran
~ law Is passed.
hut Il Ia fact that some Of the
supposed conservative banks wero
unable 90 meet depositoTs In the
fateful days OF last November,
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

Kennedy's Laxative Cough Syrup
does not constipate like most of the
old fashioned cough cures, but on
the other hand II gently moves the
bowels end at the same time heal;
Irritation and allays Inflammation Of
the throat. Sold by all druggists.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19
Gambling

your life against 25 cents Is Just ex-
actly what you are doing II you neg
leet cough or cold on the chest In
stead OF treating II with Ballard's
HorehOund Syrup. A 25 cent bottle
OF this splendid remedy will cure an
Ordinary cough, heal the lungs ana
act as a tonic for your entire system
Sold by all dealers.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19
MARRIED.

GRIswoLD-BRANDT.--At the res
idence OF the officiating clergyman
p. S. Knight, Friday evening, Sep
tember IS. 1908, Mrs. Mamie
Brandt to MIR. George Griswold.
They left Immediately for Newport
for a two-weeks' stay, after which
they will return TO make their home
here.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

all the larger towns OF western or
egon.
| At each meeting resolutions were
adopted DEMANDING THE OPEN
ING OF THE LOCKS AND CANAL
| AT OREGON CITY TO FREE NAV
IGATION and the clearing of the
willamette river of obstructions.
An open river from Astoria to
Lewiston, Idaho. and an open VII
Iiamette from the Columbia to Cor.
wallis. at least all the year around,
was asked for BY THE VARIOUS
TOWNS AND ny THE CONGRESS
At COOS BAY.
That congress went further and
declared against any private corpor-
alton owning and controlling any Of
the large waterfalls OF Oregon, in
these words:
1--WE believe. in the earliest posi-
BILE completion OF the locks and
canals at the falls OF the Columbia
AND THE FALLS OF THE VIII
LAMETTE BY THE Co-OPERA
TIoN OF BOTH STATE AND Ma
TIONAL AID. These waterfalls
should never be permitted TO be
monopolized by private corporation
In anyway TO the detrlment OF free
navigation as we all recognize that
water competition Is the only effec-
tive force TO lower freight rates In
the interior OF oup state.
The. congress that meets in De-
cember will pass rivers and har-
bors bill. and the delegation from
Oregon will have TO act upon this
question OF FREEING OUR Riv-
ERs FROM CORPORATION CON-
TROL.
The whole question of more
liberal policy OF improving our riv-
ers and harbors will be forced to an
issue.
The question Is presented today In
concrete form and In concrete de-
mand.
In the question OF transportation
is involved THE PROSPERITY, THS
DEVELOPMENT AND THE AD.
VANCEAIENT OF EACH AND
EVERY INTEREST IN THE UNIT
ED STATES.
The laboring man. no less than the
nnancier, Is Interested in the righl
solution OF the question OF trapspo--
tation.
The farmer depends upon Il In
like degree with the mine operator,
the merchant or the investors in ip-
dustrial enterprises.
THE ENTIRE COUNTRY REA-
LIzEs Ir, aud while II may have
been treated with respect as the
ory In the cartier days OF the great
political parties. II Is treated today
as question embodylng IN Il the
lnslstent aud the vital demands ~
trade aud commerce. capital and la
bor, agriculture. manufactures.
Cheap. safe and continuous water
routes FROM THE INTERIOR To
THE sEABoARD WOULD REIIEyF
TRADE AND COMMRRCE FROM
DISASTROUS CONCESSIONS. not
because OF nnwlillngness OF lack OF
enterprise on the part OF the rail-
Ways. hut beeanse the trade and COM
msrce OF the country have de.
veloped in degree immeasurably
greater than the development OF the
railway as means OF Transports
tion.
The platform of isOS not only
declare for the improvement OF the
waterways OF the uulted states. but
so farther 10 their recognition OF the
necessity fOR THR CoNSERVA.
TIoN on THE NATURAL RE
SOURCES on THE COUNTRY. n.
cludlng. of necessity, the forests so
intimately connected from natural
causes with the waterways.
one thing Is inevitable that the
mex, President OF the United States
viii be a Republican, or a Democrat.
and q may be taken as a selt-eviaent
proposition that the next house OF
representatives will be Republican
OF nemocratie-R THE FACTS
anH klN,NuQanNasn on.usx ms
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19
For a spralned Ankle.

A sprained ankle may be cured In
about one-third the time usually re-
quired. by applying Chamberlain s
Liniment freely. and giving II abso-
lutte rest. For sale by DR.. stones
drug store.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

Kodol will. In a very short time
enable the stomach % DO the work
Il should do. and the'work Il should
do 10 10 digest all the food YOU eat.
II makes the stomach sweet and II
Is pleasant 10 take, IL Is sold here
by all druggists.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19
Good for Ririonsness

''I took two OF Chamberlain
Stomach and Liver Tablets last
night. and ! feel so per cent better
than I have for weeks, says j. J.
Firostone OF Allegan, Mich. "They
are certainly a fine article for bill
iousness. For sale by DR.. Stones
drug store. Samples free.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

DeWitt's Kidney and Bladder
Pills are for weak back. baekaehe,
Rheumatic pain, Inflammation OF
the bladder and all other annoy
aneas due TO weak kidneys. They
are sold by all druggists
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

Another bullet-proof shirt is al
legged to have been invented. A cry
ing need OF the time is laundry
proof shirt.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

The -barrloaded stable is
less often seen now than before the
advent OF the manure spreadeF
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

II horses could grind the cutting
parts of the implements they work
with none would be dull.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

A good growth OF fall-1own rye
may be pastured moderately In the
late fall without being harmed.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19
COFFEE

Five degrees of excel
lence: . good; t+ better;
t.* fine; s*s* finer; s+++s
finest: all Schilling's Best.
Your grocer return. yOur money u yOu don't
Ike Il; we par him
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

Don't be afraid to give Chamber
lain's Cough Remedy to your chill
dren. It contains no opium or other
harmful drug. II always cures. For
sale by Or. Stones drug store.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

Rural school houses improving in
character and surroundings indicate
advancing civilization.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

The stack should be storm-protect-
ed at the top aud ire-proteeted At
the bottom
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19
THE DEMAND OF WESTERN or
EGoN FoR OPEN WATERWAYS.

The Oregon and Idaho Develop
men congress- just held at Coos Bay
Was preceded by meetings held at
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

This country has not increased 80
rapidly In real wealth as II has In
ways OF estimating wealth.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19

Old adage: "one can't learn any
thing true that isn't useful" One
can learn that an egg Is bad and yet
isn't very useful.
Daily capital journal. (Salem, Oregon) 1903-1919, 1908-09-19
aPECTAL DELIVERY

SPECIAL DELIVERY
establish
months
Asylum Store q Asylum Avenue Junction
Carpe A. w. Lane, Garden Road Store
BouthCommercial
@. NJ. Eppley, East State street
Fairgrounds
How Corner and
wheeers Store. w. d. Wheeler Highland avenue.
Store, r. q. Bowesox. Twelfth and Leslie.
Grocery Seventeenth gi
j.. l.. Capitol aud Union streets
Salem.
s
Stones, 241 North Commercial street
store, Sixth
Bakery Twelfth and Chemeketa