Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-07
RESTORING SCIENCE.
Some Day It viii Be MlsIed by .
False Tooth.

0VHS bNy " WIN DC Wlblcu Wy
False Tooth.
Certain eminent paleontologists re
Gently have restored several OF thu
wild beasts that roamed the primitive
morasses of central Oregon 5000, ,OOt
years ago. Judging by their names
these authentic monsIrosities were
somewhat fiercer than the wild ami
mails We have known in this prosait
age. They must have looked like /
jungle cartoon.
Think Of deer with some of tbs
characteristics of the cutlery-cresteC
pig that made Arkansas infamous! He
could run like a daddylonglegs and
bite like the dickens. The comic
scientists reduced this animal to a
condition Of unquestioning subsection
by naming him Hypertragulus, other
wise he might have gnawed a hole
in the museum and let the useful
TTiceratops (restored) escape.
For the Hypertragulus was part rat
In addition to his other eccentricities
He could gnaw into a corncrib and
squeak when he bit a nail. He could
grunt if he wanted to. This animal
was reconstructed from a fossil tooth
and fragment of dorsal fin. With
two whole tibia to work upon he could
easily have exhibited many of the traits
of the little brown hen and the fret
full siX-cylindered Gasolenopus. His
flesh was esteemed delicacy, but the
animal was restored too late to affect
the present scarcity of venison.
The TriceratOps was three-horned,
paddle-tailed hippopotamus. He was
One-third hippo and two-thirds tail,
closely related to the beaver and the
bumblebee. This animal, If domes-
ticated, could have been profitably em-
ployed in the construction of public
swimmin' holes; but his tail might
have proved valueless as municipal
butter paddle, as it was thirty feet in
length. 1t would have taken all the
butter to grease the paddle.
The Triceratops became extinct
through the ravages of the tyran-
nosaurus Rex, or giant lizard ire
tored), great, carnivorous reptile
that perished in the glacial catacylsm
also restored. Careless boys some
times staked the pet Triceratops on
the banks of the swimmin' hole and
left him there over night without pro-
lection, where he fell an easy prey
to the prowling Tyrannosaurus rex.
Here is food for thought.
Mesohippus acutidens is the name
given to the comic-section little animal
that was an ancestor of our domestic
horse. He was burdened with three
toes on each foot, besides being mans
best friend; and then there was the
name. He resembled a fox with
horses faults, and would shy at sight
of Gasolenopus. This playful beast
became extinct through legislative
lobbying of the horse-shoers' union,
the members of which objected to
mailing twelve shoes on one blame
little centipede. Still the Mesohippus
acutidens might have been a useful
carriage animal but for its disconcert-
ing trick of burrowing like a fox.
It is said that the advanced paleon-
tologist can reconstruct an extinct ami
NAL from a single fossil fragment.
Custom-made clothing sometimes is
constructed after a careless glance at
a thumb print; but, one of these days
some scientist will accidentally get
hold of fossil false tooth that does
not conform in anatomical rules, and
the result will be a Mess-o -hippus-
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS, ex-
hibiting some plainly noticeable traits
of the sea urchin.-Chicago News.