Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-05-29

Ane SoluinDid DOyS won I dc
bate with a coed. Bella-Wait till
they marry.-New York Sun.
Dyer-Do you think the time will
come when we shall have universal
peace? Ryer-Not unless we adopt
trial marriages.-Town Topics.
please give me two bills for my hat,
one for ten dollars to show my hus-
band, and one for twenty to show my
lady friends. s."-Meggendorfe Blaetter.
"Do you really love me. John?" "oh,
no. wear these summer pants and
this tramp overcoat merely to appear
eccentric, that's ll."-Washington Her
aid.
do you believe that men and wom-
en- should have equal rights?" "Well-
| used to, but since I've been married
| don't dare to say So" Cleveland
Leader.
Mrs. Houlihan (sobbing)-I never
saw ye till tn day before me unforch-
nit marriage. Mr.. Houihan-An' I
oitch Wloht ye uuuH Seeu ne I'LL III
day after Puck.
Phoebe-You would hardly know
Freddy since he got back from Monte
Carlo. He lost all his money there,
and Evelyn-Hardly know him
Why, I shan't know him at all!-Illus-
trated Bits.
Officer" said the police magistrate,
what Is the charge against the pris-
oner" Having an Internal machine
in his possession, your honor" replied
the policeman. Anarchist or chauf-
feurY queried the magistrate.-Chica-
go Daily News.
Father-If you marry my daughter,
are you sure you will be able to take
care Of her In the style to which she
has always been accustomed? Suitor
(who Is in the Wholesale business)-
I'll guarantee 1t, sir, or-or return the
goods.-Pick- -Me-Up.
"You said that II bought this sub
urban house l could live like prince.
With malaria and automobiles. I'm in
fear for my life" WELL" answered
the agent, soothingly, think of the
princes who live in fear of their lives"
Washington Star.
Mr.. Stubb with illustrated weekly
Martha, here is picture entitled
Docking an Ocean Greyhound" Mrs
Stub (haring up)-l just don't want
to see it. think there should be a
law against clipping Off poor dogs
tail.-Chicago News.
would you send man who uses
profanity to Congress?" 81 dunno"
answered Farmer Corntossel. "Of
course, don't approve of profanity;
but I'd want him to be able to hold his
own in any of them arguments that
come Washington Star.
Mrs. Gadsby (hugging dog)-I don't
know what we're going to do about
poor darling Fido Mr.. Gadsby-
Humph! What alls him? Mrs. Gads-
by Gin surprise why, haven't you no
ticed how irritated he becomes when'
ever the baby cries?-Puck.
! Mrs. Spenders-I wonder how you'd
like it If ever got 'new-womanish'
and insisted upon wearing mems
clothes? Mr.. Spenders-Oh. ! haven't
any fear of you ever doing that. Mems
clothes are never very expensive
Catholic Standard ard Times.
"Do you mean to tell me you have
lived in this out-of-the-way place for
twenty years?" THAT'S right stran-
ger: twenty years." "But l don't see
what you find to keep you busy"
Nothing, stranger. That's the reason
like it."-Louisvllle Herald.
"Yes," said Miss Jiltham. "he was an
old fame Of mine. And when you told
him I was to be married next week,
did he seem sorry?" "Yes, he admit
ted that he felt sorry" replied Miss
Cable. "Did he, really?" Eyes, al
though he said he didn't know your
iance ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS Standard
and Times.
Mr. Ryley-Why are yez decoratin',
Mrs. Murphy Mrs. Murphy-Me by
Denny Is comm home the day. Mr.. Ry-
ley-I fought it wuz for foive years he
wuz sint up? Mrs Murphy-Me wuz;
but he got year Off for good behay-
vure. Mr.. Ryley-An' sure 1t must be
a great comfort for We to have good
Vicar-John, do you-er-ever use
strong language? John (guardedly) -
Well, sir, IL may be little bit keer-
less like in my speech at times. Vicar
All, I'm sorry, John. But we will
converse about that some other time.
Just now | want you to 20 to the