The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-12-25


now the time is drawing pretty close
when a fellow will have to be mighty
careful about opening bureau drawers
when his wife is in the room if he
doesn't want to be scared into con-
niption when she notices what he's
doing Y'see, this is just about the
beginning of the season when wives
start to hiding the Christmas presents
they've bought for their husbands.
Funny gag, that, too.
Then there's another thing about
this Christmas present hiding busi-
ness. Most men stick 1t out that wom-
en- are the curious, inquisitive sex,
don't they? Well, don't believe 1t.
In my opinion men are whole heap
more curious and inquisitive than
women. Fact is, know it.
For instance, husband, long
about this season that's approaching,
is cropping around for fresh shirt
upon getting up in the morning. He
yanks out the wrong drawer OF the
bureau. Well, on this morning he
pulls out the bottom bureau drawer,
say, and his wife, who is fixing
her hair at the chiffonier in an
other part Of the room, catches him
in the act just in time, let's out her
little squawk, and races over to the
bureau and pushes the drawer shut.
$50 it's there, hey?' he says to
her. 'Scuse me for living and then
the mullethead goes on grinning like
a chimpanzee while he brushes his
hair. Then he turns to her
'Watchoo got in there, anyway?
he asks her.
"She tells him, with grimace,
and very properly, that it's none of his
business. And she adds something
about folks that rubber
but, say, g'wan and tell me what
choo got in there, won't your he tries
again, wheedlingly.
"Whereupon his wife makes mention
of that feline that met an untimely
end through curiosity.
That's all right about the cat
says the husband then, but I'll bet
you new rubber plant that it's cigars
that you've got. in there And then
he begins to look a bit alarmed. Say,
hope not, though. I'm thinking about
swearing of smoking soon now, any
how
'But this hint of his about the CT
gars doesn't get the least bit of q
rise out Of her. Not much. Nothing
whatever doing in the conversational
line on her rart.
"'Oh, I'm a pinhead, sure enough,
her husband says then, after a pause,
and still consumed and just eaten
alive by curiosity. I might have
known all the time that it's shaving
outfit That's exactly what it is, for
sure thing
adjusts her side combs and quite re-
trains from talking. Then he sticks
his hands into his trousers pockets
and looks her over quizzically.
cav, come on, now, like good
girl, and tell me if you've gone and
got me that bath robe that we were
looking at in the shop window the
other afternoon he says to her in his
most persuasive tone.
Say, Minnie, you might let fel-
Ter see what you've got tucked In
there, at that
"Just compare the attitude Of the
average husband in this Christmas
gift business with the position Of his
wife on that same subject. She doesn't
really want to know what he is going
to give her for Christmas She wants
to be 's'prised.'
Look, here, hum he says to her
some morning along toward Christmas
usually he puts it of till about the
last day, when everything is all picked
over in the stores-'Look a-here, my
dear, whatchoo want for Christmas,
hey? It's up to you. you know?
why, the very idea. she exclaims.
up to me! lPreposterous! Why, 1t
wouldn't be any Christmas gift at all
| il / told you what | wanted you to
get for me-
"'Oh, that's one way Of looking at
| it. he says. But, dye know, | was
thinking about getting you
'Sh-sh-sh! Stop she cries. Don't
you dare tell me, Jack Costing. Don't
you dare!'
'.All the same, she's foxy, at that
After while an idea strikes her.
You know, of course, Jack she
says, musingly, that IL you are wor-
ried about the sizes of things, why,
your sister Agnes and l wear exactly
the same sizes in everything, and
She
But, nix he breaks in. Tt isn't
anything that comes in sizes. It's one
OF those
and again her fingers go into her
| ears. The 's'prise' is the whole thing
| to her, and she is resolved not to hear
| in advance what he is thinking of get
| ting for her.
Nov. If all this doesn't come pretty
near proving that women are really
less curious than men, then dunno.
dunno hev7"