davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
He WAS SCARED.
Why the Drummer Made Record Time
Out Of Pittsburg.

Why the Drummer Made Record Time
Out Of Pittsburg.
II am not a man to brag," said the
Cincinnati drummer, "but I feel that |
can honestly say that was never real
scared but one time In my life, and
that happened a year ago."
When asked in casual way to back
up his statement with particulars, he
continued: 81 MN
81 was at hotel In Pittsburg. had
a room on the third fioor, and In COM
ing out Of it on an occasion ] Bumped
against man who was passing. IL
was feeling in ugly mood that day and
when the bump came shot off my
mouth at the stranger. He replied In
kind, and suddenly shot ont my left
and caught him on the point Of the
chin and dropped him like log
'.And you thought you had killed
him y .3s .$ I. .i
"No. He lay there and snored like a
seal, and went downstairs and told
the clerk he had better see to him.
Three minutes later had twenty diff
ferent men aroYnd me begging me to
I fly for my life. !" S3$s u. d. II.
"But whyg' AS
Because had knocked out a mid
dleweight prize fighter who had won
over thirty battles. Gee whiz, but
when they told me who the chap was.
my knees gave under me, my mouth
got dry as cotton. and I didn't stop for
my grip. ! was busting across the
river within ten minutes, and I didn't
feel safe for the next three days.
Lordy, but think of tia dry goods
drummer who had never had gioSe
on knocking out q champion middle
weight! Did ritn7 Well, made
record time. all right Chicago News.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
HIS OWN 'I'|' BAIT.
The Giant Alligator Swapping Turtle
as Fisherman. tsyiss. l4 II.

The Giant Alligator Swapping Turtle
as Fisherman. H,
There Is a canny reptile fisherman
which makes effective use Of the bait
which he carries in his own mouth
This is the alligator swapping turtle, a
giant among reptilesl known to attain
maximum weight Of Ia pounds, with
a length Of shell Of about twenty eight
inches. 1t haunts rivers flowing into
the gulf Of Mexico including the Mis-
sissippi, where it is common. In APP
pearance and actions it is an enlarged
duplicate Of the common swapping tur-
tie. Its pale brown hues well match
the soft, muddy bottoms on which it
lies motionless, angling for fish with
the decoy. The bait is attached inside
the lower jaw, close to the tongue, and
Is well developed filament Of flesh,
white and distinct from the yellowish
mouth part and closely resembling a
large grub. While waiting the turtle
keeps this grub in motion, giving 1t
the aspect Of crawling about in small
circular course. It's mud colored shell,
often studded with growth of fine,
waving moss, looks like great round
stone, and close to it is second small.
er stone, the head. Close to this small
er stone crawls the plump white grub.
A fish sees 1t and makes a natural
mistake, only to be seized by sudden
snap of the powerful jaws. The jaws
are remarkably powerful. The com.
mon snapper, which attains only "a
third of the size Of his larger relative
will bite finger clean off, and the al
ligator snapper could bite through q
wrist or foot Chicago Tribune.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
Forest Of Stone IN Australia.

In Albany, in Australia, is to be seen
q stone forest-in other words, petrifed
trees. The trees are Of gray stone.
It Is suggested as an explanation Of
the strange phehomenon that III the
depths Of past ages the forest was In
full vegetation and then through some
upheayal Of the earth It was buried in
sand. Little by little water acting on
the sand penetrated the branches and
solidihed. 4. Ut. ys5s
The wood gradually disappeared un-
der the layer Of stone and In time took
Its form. Then In succeeding years
the winds again carried away the sand
and the forest appeared anew, but OF
stona-L London Globe.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
is ENTHUSIASTIC,

Grand Forks Herald: Wednesday
Miss Zana K. Miller, state librarian in
the service of the state library COM
mission, addressed the summer school
on the work undertaken by the COM
mission and the librarian. Miss Mil
Ter is an excellent speaker and is en-
thusiastic in her work.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
TIC TanuIf,ia nar !

The Village idiot discovered tres.
passingl Ye'd better not lift me. Dye
know fowks say I'm not a. here! The
Farmer 3 Well COON AVA DOT here,
then. I'm a-goin' to gle good hidin'
to what ther' b o. ye!-T4ondon Opinion.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
His Para.

Moggs Yves returning to the club
house when Wilson met him.
n We, how did yon get on today n
queried Wilson.
Il never saw better goif, " said Moggs.
'My opponent got away every dsiye.
Ne Mt every brassis clean, he APP
preached up to the hols perfectly, and
he never missed patti s. )
How much were yUu beaten by
"Reatenl wasn't beaten. I WonF'
'-Pearson's Weekly. ss'
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
Our National Attitude

That's the Goddess Of Liberty ex-
planned the New Yorker. .Elne atti.
tude, el?"
Yes, and typically American re-
sponded the western visitor. Hang
ing to a strap. - Washington Herald.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
A Legal Thrust.

The learned counsel for the de-
fense." said the plaintiffs attorney.
appears to be. afraid Of losing hig
case. Otherwise why isn't he ready to
go on n 3.
I've got good excuse" replied
counsel for the defense.
Nonsense! Ignorance Of the laWex-
cuses no one. Philadelphia Press.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
ELECTED CHIEF Hl1ERNlAN.

indianapolis, July 24.-Mathew F.
Cummings of Boston was reelected
president of the Ancient Order of Hi
bernians over J. e. Dolan Of New
York today at the national conven-
ton of the order, by vote of 275 to
2Ss. ".> +.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
FALLIEREs GETS GLAD HAND.

Stockholm, July 24.-M. Fallieres,
president of France, who is on a series
of official visits to European states,
arrived here today and was given a
hearty welcome by the king, city Of
flcials and general public.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

John Piett, a painter on Jerome
Bacon's farm near Grand Forks, fell
from a scaffo1d and broke a leg.
Eight Grand Forks boys broke in
to car of watermelons and were
let off on the promise not to do it
again.
Hon. T. R. Stevens, OF Crazy, RAM
sey county, nominated for member
of the next legislature, says
the crops around Crary are as poor
as they are around Devils Lake and
many pieces it will not pay to cut.
Jesse Bacon had a family reunion
Tuesday. A farmer brought in the
horse that Mr.. and Mrs. Bacon
drove to and from the parsonage
when they were married, twenty-five
years ago. .= -.
i Pink Paper is bold enough to an.
nounce that the size of the Demo
cratic campaign fund in Ia. STATE
VIII be large enough to permit Of a
spell binder in nearly every city In
the state during the campaign.
Ashley is after an extension Of the
Minneapolis and st. Louis road from
Leola, which would give them d.
rect connection with Aberdeen. The
Minneapolis and st. Louis has in
mind Bismarck as the future termi
nus OF this branch.
%-~-%- AZ
There was heavy rain storm, &C
companied by lighting, which did
considerable damage at Valley City
Wednesday night. The barn of the
White Bros, large farmers near Val.
ley City was struck by lightning and
| burned and was loss of some 49,
600. A vacant house in Valley City
| was also struck by lightning and
partially DESTROYED.
| 49,
| A change OF venue from the dis.
trict court Of Benson county to the
district court of Ramsey county has
been granted by Judge Cowan In the
case of the state Of North Dakota
vs.. Alexander Shaffer. The defend
emit is charged with grand larceny:
it being alleged that he stole mum.
her Of horses in Benson county
When the case was called shori
time since, motion for a change
Of venue was made, this being grant.
ed: 1t was claimed that fair and
/ impartial trial could not be secured
lin Benson county.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
Heps Sam.

II can safely say that NO man ever
attempted to bride me. gentlemen
Voice In the Crowd Don't be- down
hearted, old chap: your luck may
change. London Telegraph.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
Literature TO Order.

'T want YOU" said the publisher, ito
write a. novel to be called The Lilies :"
But" inquired the author, where
fore?" f. @..~.,. ,.-.,@s j Ssr s55
II have just bought at auction job
lot Of paper lilies which can be used
for window displays all over this
broad land" IL t5t 25sss 4 ri
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
Not a Discovery,

"Now, what shall we name the
baby 2" inquired the professors wife
Why, this species has been named"
answered the professor In astonish.
ment. This lis a primate mammal,
homo sapiens." IS
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
hla Congregations,

Weary Walker-Wot id youse t'ink
nv me CORPORATIONS, TatteFs7 Tired
Tatters Wot corporations7 Weary
Walker Me shoes. call them cor.
porations because dey Amt got no
soles. Pathfinder.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
f. II
These Men.

Hubby, won't you go shopping with
me to-day r. ~ .r.. 81, !. ae .5..: Z
mix. nixey, and again nix"
There Is going to be a demonstra-
ton Of this new sheath skirt, and
Sure. Ill 60" ..55 55...'
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

Teacher-If your father owed the
butcher $17,25, the baker 1920 and
the grocer 1855, how much would
he have to pay In all? -s,s5$
Tommy Harlumm = Nothin';; he'd
move! s5f.., !. Il h ii ,s-. 4:
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
"A Craze.

Every New Yorker wants to live
ON Easy straet..
a "Oh. ! dent know. II 1t came to
choice, i thinK most of them would
prefer to merely exist on Broadway
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
Staging 4 Trial.

This villa be memorable trial."
declared the New York lawyer II
certainly have gotten together a COM
petent cast" sEs "a; N & .s.5s
Good" s.
All that remains Is to see the dis
trfct attorney and submit our dialogue
and scenario
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

A close friend is one who turns Vol,
down when You want q small loan.
81 Joseph News-P Press.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
Should Please the Chickens.

"Giye me short menu for chicken
dinner" p p -
That's easily DONE PURGE OF oats:
cracked corn and pulverized oyster
Shells" $50 s$ NJ {.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

The Journal complains Of boot
logging in Cakes.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

chumpl sent an ad here to 60 in
to-day's paper but 1t wasn't In. II
was, Honest man. not afraid OF ~ork,
WaAst
Is Editor Oh! it's In the paper aII
right. You'll find it under Konik
Kwips took Il for a joke. you'il re.
ceive check later on.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

Knfcker-Old man Koyne couldn't
have been SO well known after all.
Bocker-What do you mean? 9.s IL
Knicker-No fake widow has put In
claim for his estate as yet. .a
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

The Prodigal Son This is about
the toughest veal ever tried to eat.
His Father That's the calf you
used to play with before you ran away
fifteen years ago.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25
NORTH DAKOTA NOTES

John Piett, a painter on Jerome
Bacon's farm near Grand Forks, fell
from scaffold and broke a leg.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

Eight Grand Forks boys broke in
to a car of watermelons and were
let off on the promise not to do it
again.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

He-Miss Debue has such an open
countenance. ..45i, * +. -
Il She-Yes, especially when she
smiles.-Baltimore American.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

Hon. T. R. Stevens, of Crazy, RAM
sey county, nominated for member
of the next legislature, says
the crops around Crary are as poor
as they are around Devils Lake and
many pieces it will not pay to cut.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

mo. SIR" said the actress indig-
'nantly, 81 will not wear sheath
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

Z Owner of the ;i*,ap-Who's in there
Quick Witted les,.,ys (softly)-'Taint
r obody in heah 'carp.r' US chickens
life Ma 81 l. "tl*t x s. 49, st.'-sF. -....
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-07-25

But you appear in tights"
Yes, do; and that's the limit to
which you may ask lady to CO.
Philadelphia Ledger sa & .53a If,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-08
g.. -NC&@%5sS aa%~%S~ @

at me in a patronizing indulgent kind of
a way, and he said:
oh. guess your bag'll be all right.
Wen just take care of you for a little
while. see?'
His familiarity wasn't the worst of II,
either-not by a blamed sight He nod
ded to the doorman, and the doorman led
me to a cell, and may I never see a sun
set over the Virginia hills again II 1
didn't find myself locked up in that police
station as an individual incapable of
taking care Of himself!
well. spent four hours trying to get
my friends at the hotel to the police
station, but the reports came back to me
every time that they couldn't be found
anywhere. They had. Of course, dug up
our friend who was sailing on the fol-
lowing morning, and hiked off to a roof
garden or somewhere with him, and there
was no chance on earth for me to get into
communication with them
IT sent out about fourteen dollars
worth of messages to New York friends.
but none of these fellows could be To-
Gated, either-they were all out for the
evening, too. Everybody's always out for
the evening in that fool town!
II offered to leave all sorts of currency
collateral with the desk cop. but he only
smiled amiably at me and said:
Now, chum. take it easy. You'd on'y
git touched FIR y'r wad II we turned you
loose. Better take it easy and you'll be
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-08

COME people are crazy about parrots.
- / never could understand. but they
are. just the same. A friend OF mine,
settled married person of gray hair and
otherwise conventional tastes. is in that
class. His bird has been eighteen years
In the family. was heaven only knows
how old when he got II. and is a fluent
talker. And every summer. when this
married person. with his wife and chill
dren. goes away for a months vacation.
they impose the parrot on friends. So far
/ have managed to escape.
This summer a somewhat elderly maiden
lady. friend OF my friends wife. took
charge OF the bird. She lives In a suburb
Of town. keeps no cats and no dogs. and
her home was considered an ideal summer
home for the parrot
Well not the make the story long. My
friend returned to town. went up and got
the parrot and thanked the single femals
person profusely. And he took the parrot
home
For days that bird. although previously
most garrulous. refused to say a word.
Coaxing did no good. Selected food
availed not. Polly was detected to the
extreme.
Finally. last week, while the family
were at dinner. the parrot started up.
And this is what her discourse sounded
like:
LAS / was saying-c-a-w-w-w-I don't
believe it-clack, clack clack, c-l-a-c-k-
she told me. clack. clack, perfectly out
rageous. cav cav. not a gentleman.
clack, clack. scandalous, cluck, cluck.
those horrid children-cIack clack. I
wouldn't get married IL i could, clack.
c-l-a-c-k-k-k-k-k-k-k- k XXX X k cav.
c-a-w-w-w-w-w-w."
My friend. next time he goes out OF
town. is going to be more careful where
he puts the parrot to board.
ITO perdition with these sewing circles.
anyhow" he says. with an attempt at a
grin.
IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-08

made the train by a whisker, and as soon
as 1 got my traps disposed around my
seat started for the buffet car to get a
chicken sandwich or so and a bottle of
something soft and carbonic. meaning to
dine after reaching New York.
"A number of the Moquis of my party
went out to the buffet car with me. al
though tried hard to sidestep them. for
1 could foresee trouble If I sat in with
that bunch without having any luncheon
to sustain me in any high resolves that
I may have made. But it was no use.
They tossed that 'Aw, be a good Teller
gag at me, and. anyhow, they were just
going to drink a teenchy little bit Of a
toast to the fellow who was going abroad
he was already in New York. l said
mine, then, would be vichy and milk.
They remarked that would be pretty por-
poise blooded on my part, drinking vichy
and milk by way Of a bon voyage to an
old pal
There was no tagging them. I tried
to hand them the no-luncheon excuse
but they derided that as being childish
And 50 had to string along and let them
do the ordering-no, didn't exactly have
to. but l was idiotic enough to see it
that way at the moment.
''Well, we toasted the fellow who was
going abroad quite several times. At
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-08
"DURN ALL I'D CALL WASHINGTON A SUMMER RESORTv'

the heated term-he doesn't say "hot
weather'-why. you can kick around
your own plant after Office in your paja-
mas If you want to. and have your own
bath tub, and all like that.
Now, long years OF close observation
have convinced the writer hereof that this
fellow is tightwad. He is the man with
the muciiaginous mitt. He Is possessed
of the soldered digits. In brief, he hates
to loosen UP for the price of a summer
trip. Therefore he seeks to square it with
himself by attempting to convince his sub
consciousness that summer trips are made
for maniacs. and he falls into the habit
of talking out of the southeastern corner
on his facial oriflce in deprecatory man.
ner, to other folk who insist upon jumping
this town for some portion OF the sum-
mer every year.
He hasn't the sense Of humor to per-
ceive that the Washingtonian who can
didly admits that Washington is mighty
hot town in summer isn't necessarily dis
loyal to Washington. Nearly everybody
worth while knows that Washington is
the most beautiful place in the western
hemisphere. But everybody worth while
knows just as we'll that Washington is
eye-ess. ts-one Of the Internally hottest
towns in summer on the face Of the
North American map. The writer hereof.
in the progress of much peregrinating
has squatted right smack dab on top of
the equator, not once. but quite few times
and If he ever happened to step into a
hotter place than Washington is on a
sure-enough busy hot day in the District
Of Columbia he can't remember the name
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-08

Sfty-fve and sixty on Broadway these
days and nights.
AT the risk of being misunderstood I am
going To be lucid. l have been trying to
SAY that women folks certainly are dress
ing themselves parlously young in New
York right now
Walking behind 'em, you imagine that
Broadway is being used as a promenade
these days exclusively for pupils at the
misses schools that are stuck around in
so many out-of-the-way corners Of this
town That is. let me specify again.
while you're walking behind 'em. But
when you get UP alongside some Of EN-
YES, most of em-why--
Well, anyhow. It's hard to figure out
lust where or how this ingenue way Of
dressing had its beginning. But easily
enine-tenths of the women you see on the
New York streets today-and tonight-are
etogged out like little girls. Dresses that
are quite piece above the shoe-tops. and
tie frocks OF thu most juvenileishly simple
patterns. at that, and the hats those little
<down-at the-sides lacey things that look
for all the world like teeny-weeny babies
first Extraordinarily theyre the
dolliest creatures. these New York sum-
mer women, that ever you saw in the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-08

much for cold? Course it's some warm
in Washington right now. But you don't
expect to go bob-sleddin' at this time of
the year. do you? It's no hotter in Wash
ington than it is in any other city In this
belt. It's hot in Baltimore and Philadel-
phia and New York and even Atlantic
City at this time of the year-just as hot
as 1t is in Washington. That's all pifhe
about it being bedingedly hot in Wash
ington in summer. Sail superstition. I've
been here long enough to know, 1 guess
And then he winds up with remark
that sends you gibbering adown the
street. That remark is this:
''Why, durn it all, I'd call Washington
a summer resort
Yes. you squeak and clipper like a
detective when one mentions the name of
Dorsey FoultZ How could you help it?
Well, he's the same fellow who pro-
fesses to consider you insane because you
traipse OF every summer on little va
cation for yourself He thinks you ought
to have your head examined under the
violet rays for that.
There you CO." says he. disgustedly.
when he sees you beating it for the train
with your grip in your hand. "Galloping
off to some fool summer resort, so called.
/ s'pose."
You answer. Yes.
I'D like to have a peek at the wheels
inside the heads Of you people, he goes
on. Going jamming off to some dinky
place to be huddled up in one room,
when you've got hOme-a hull big, wide.
spacious home with sure-enough mans
size rooms in ito live and be comfort
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-08

Yesterday afternoon a couple Of WASH
ington detectives, friends of mine. stroll
ed into my Office here with solemn coun-
tenances.
Too bad. old man. one of 'em said to
me, and of course you fully understand
how We hate to do 1t. But these things
happen. you know. I'm afraid We'll have
to take you along with us. We haven't
any idea in the world that you did IL, but
you can explain all that to the major
II couldn't penetrate their internal
gravity. and I became alarmed. They
said that a jewel robbery had occurred
at an Asbury Park hotel a couple of aays
before and that the robbery had been
traced to a certain man in a room at the
hotel
THE suspect had escaped 90 hurriedly
that he'd left his valise behind him. The
valise bore my name and Washington ad-
dress, stamped inside the bag.
Those two detectives kept II up until.
feeling pretty shaky If I didn't look II.
I'd got my hat and stool ready TO ac-
company 'em to the office of Mai Syl-
vester. Then they broke into a roar. and
one of them went out into the hall and
brought in my bag. The :neak thief who
had taken 1t from my hands had pulled
of the Jewel robbery at the Asbury Park
hotel.
TOO shattering, stuff of that kind. Lit
tie old Wash'n'n for mine and the cider
cart, now and forever ! know when I've
had enough bother"