The sun., 1908-04-07
OOLCOURSE IN MGTRIMONY
WHAT NAMES THE BABY WRIG-
GLEF MAYBE IT'S 4 Pin.

uate Entitled 10 One Chance 10 Marry.
You ought TO know in the first place
, that this Correspondence School Of Mat
rimonisl Education which Is just getting
under way on the top floor Of the old build
ing at the southwest corner Of Broadway
and Thirteenth street is above all else,
no for-damn swindle. Messrs Floch and
Wack. who are the brains Of the institu-
ton. said that in just those words the first
thing yesterday afternoon when asked
kindly 10 tell all Their full names are
Julius Wack and Hugo Floch and as they
told them yesterday Rachel. their type
writer girl sneezed She said she has
the Ia grippe.
This Correspondence School Of Matn-
monial Education aims 10 educate you up
to the point Of getting married, 40 that once
you get away with II you'll have sense
enough TO stay married, That, at least,
is one Of the many things the school is
going 10 do when it really gets into its
stride. Just at present it Ia merely baby
first rec der school, as It we're inasmuch
as the equipment consists principally Of
Messrs. Wack. Floch Rachel and Col.
Anoldt and an office simply decorated
with a pink edition Of the Long Island
Railroad time table pasted fat 10 the east
wall. The dimensions Of the Office are 80
planned that no matter which part Of the
correspondence school one ats in one may
read the entire list Of fine print on the time
table. Sitting in the northwest corner Of
the school, say you can tell that the I07
stops at Savyille on signal just as well as
you can see ii from that side Of the educa-
tional institution not occupied by the
modest rolltop desk. Even II you choose
the other chair, the one i1rthest from ths
window, there staring you in the face ia
the information that No drops the club
smoker at Patchogue.
Incidentally, and this has nothing 10 do
with the school and merely is remarked in
passing, Patchogue is also a name, not
a sneeLe
When the building on Broadway was
entered yesterday no one seemed ever
to have heard OF the Correspondence School
Of Matrimonial Education; but that is be-
cause az has been hinted the institution
is in its incipiency Wandering through
corridor after corridor you get the notion
that only furriers and coat makers we're
In the building and you we're all ready
to give up the hunt especially when you
opened a door marked Booking ONCE
and found that that wasn't it. Even the
head Of a detective agency. which has
ofiHes on the third floor, couldn't find the
CORES spondence School Of Matrimonial
Education, but at last. on the top floor, was
a door marked mysteriously, &C. S. Of VI. +.
Entrance, and you had H.
Busily engaged on the job we're Wack
Floch. Arnoldt and Rachel. When the
faculty heard what was wanted there was
a tense silence for full minute, and then
Mr.. Floch spoke softly in English, trans.
lated into high German, Evidently his
views Of what should be done on 80 extgaor-
binary an occasion met with approval,
because he straightway began fearlessly
10 be interviewed He arose TO make
his opening remarks.
This school he said, and he backed
against the wall defantly, is no for-damn
swindles.'
we are going to start magazine too |
which is much more than the American |
Magazine, Munsey's Ndgd'Ine, the Century. |
the BroddIdy and things like that
began Col, Arnoldt, who Is the brains OF |
the publishing department
And maybe we buy entire building |
with printing presses. suggested Mr. Wack, |
instead OF staying in this pl---'
And soon we build homes for the widows |
and orphans that belong TO our school Of |
matrimonial education, added Mr.. Floch.
And this amt no for-damn swindles,'
interpolated the entire faculty we show |
ha 70 ms afn nT
and he look il over and he say, This thing.
she can 90 through the mail bags We
are honest. Everything is honest
First Of all TO one who desires the ad-
vantages Of the Correspondence School OF
Matrimonial Education, one sends in a $40
bill. After that, Messrs. Wack and Floch =
said yesterday, you get educated steadily |
for life on how TO get married And II the
worst comes TO the worst In your old age
and there has been nothing doing you have
a good home in the retreats for widows and
orphans that the school 80 soon TO build is
Best Of all TO quote the pink circular 30
kindly provided yesterday by the entire
nrm on Wacx AMI iiOCh}.
After finishing the entire course the pupil
will receive a handsome diploma and will be
enrolled as Brother" or Sister Of the
school and as such will have the privilege Of
calling upon our advice in any questions Of
life OF pertaining 10 his or her duties and
obligations At all times In addition We will
make the brothers and sisters Of the school
living in the neighbOrhood OF the party asking
advice acquainted with the trouble, and they
will only too gladly lend the helping hand TO
any member
II the result is marriage the school is TO be
notified al once. and the same is requested
II the parties should fail to agree.
This school was founded with the view Of
filling long felt want in the domestic life
Of the present day. Girls in due time marry
a nd find out TO their sorrow and that Of their
husbands that they know nothing Of wifely
duties. Citing an example; 4 safety pin
holding the baby's clothing toRetherl works
loose and the point penetrates the tender
skin, causing excessive pain, which is shown
By excited wrggling. The young mother
hurries TO a doctor The latter Immediately
removes the pin and speedily cures the suffer-
ing The poor infant has been subjected TO.
Had the mother had experience in the care
Of infants she would have quickly discovered
the ailment and saved herself all worry the
child Treat deal Of pain and her husband
the cost OF The doctors treatment l.
The husband thoroughly disillusionzed.
becomes irritable frequent uuArrels enBue
and are soon followed by separation, both
~ their folks. who by III timed
advice tend TO widen the breach between
The once happy --.
In a word. along come the folks, who