davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1908-03-10
DAN KELLEY
in BROAD JUMP
BIG ATHLETIC MEET AT MADI-
SON SQUARE, GARDEN WILL
BRING TWO STARS FROM THE
WEST IN COMPETITION.

NEW YORK, March 10.-Exery-
thing is in readiness at Madison
Square garden for the grand en-
| trance this evening of the most
notable assemblage of athletic glad
| iators ever entered in any indoor
meet. The affair is the annual car
nival of the New York Athletic
club and will doubtless be witnessed
by a vast crowd of. spectators.
] In addition to a long program of
relay races and handicap. events,
several special races. have been ar
/ ranged that attract the fastest rum
ners in the Amateur Athletic union
and the colleges. The match race
between J. B, Taylor of Pennsyl-
vania, the intercollegiate Champion,
and Harry L. HillmaM of the New
York Athletic club, at 600 yards, is
attracting special attention.
Taylor admits that Hillman is
probably the fastest indoor middle
distance runner in thes country, and
| Is particularly anxious to tSke his
/ measure. Taylor has not bBen ak
tended this winter, and the meeting
! of the two cracks promises to fur
nish the most sensational contest
of the season.
The special T6G0-yarf rum is am
other event that will provide a
great contest.
The other contestants include Fl.
p, Ramey, the Chicago Athletic club
crack; Guy .Haskins of PennaEl-
vania, and Melvin w Sheppard OF
the Irish-American Athletic club.
Dan J. Kelly, the Western Rhe-
romenon, who is now located in
New York, has entered the broad
Jump, who will be opposed to It. F
OConnell of the New York Athletic
club and probably Cook, tile Cor
nell crack. Kelly will also compete
| in the 60-yard (scratch) dash, and
will be opposed by Nat Carrwell, the
Pennsylvania and intercollegiate
champion: Charles ]. Seitz,- the New
,, York Athletic club and w. d. Eaton
OF Cambridge, Mass.
With Forrest Smithson, who wor
the Amateur Athletic, unfpn cham
pionship, John c. GHrrels of Mfcha
gan university, who captured th'
intercollegiate championship. ant
A. B. Shaw of Dartmouth, who wa
second to Carrels, entered in tn
6O-yard hurdle racer. the event give
every indication of being the great
est ever held in the. country. Thes
! three, men are the best, hurdlers i
: active training, and a new reeor
is expected to result from thei
meeting. GarrelIs win also meet W
w. Coe, the champion and record
holder, and Martin J. Sheridan
the eight-pound, shot
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1908-03-10
Art Exhibit.

The opening lecture of the art
exhibit at the State Normal school
viii be on Wednesday night on
art and the Work Of Artists" by
Miss Henry. A committee will be
present to receive all visitors and
see that everyone can have the de-
sired opportunity to see all pictures
and have all possible benefit from
the exhibit.
A nominal entrance fee of II
cents will be charged. Catalogues
will be on sale at 10 cents each
which give the artist, subject and
school of each picture by number
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1908-03-10
Chimney Sweeps Have Arrived.

Messrs, Hockenbary and Kelly,
the old reliable chimney sweeps, are
in the city ON their annual spring
trip from Spokane, and are ready
tc clean either chimneys or carpets,
satisfaction guaranteed. You know
them. Their prices are right and
their work has the stamp of APP
prevail from experience in the past.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1908-03-10

Hives eczema, itch or salt rheum
sets you crazy. Can't bear the
touch of your clothing. Doan's
ointment cures the most obstinate
cases. Why suffer? All druggists
sci It'll.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1908-03-10

If you are from Ireland, put on
your colors and attend the Masked
Carnival at the Roller Rink on St,
Patrick's night.
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1908-03-10
AT THE PAsTIME.

Ben Hur.
Maniac Jugglers.
Enchanted Glasses.
Song-"Sweethearts and Roses"
Lewiston evening teller. [volume] (Lewiston, Idaho) 1903-1911, 1908-03-10

Don't forget the big masked car
nival at the Roller Rink Tuesday
night, March IL.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

er upon them so that he may sleep in
peace, many of the tall Turkish minds
have announced that they ARE going
away from here, never again to re-
turn"
Achmed Izzet Pasha's absence was
told by cable from Constantinople, but
the source would not be divulged by
the wise heads which cleaned the
news. A cable stated that Izzet
Pasha, as he is more Familiarity known,
went on board of a steamship near
Constantinople and did not return. 1t
was believed by those who have had
the news from the Turkish capital
that Izzet Pasha took passage for this
country, where it was possible to find
safe asylum while political affairs
in Turkey are adjusting themselves.
For the last year at least Izzet Pasha
had been a power at the palace of the
sultan.
And the cause of all this trouble, ac-
cording to those who sympathize with
his majesty, is none other than Huda
himself.
Therefore he is pining away the
idle hours in the jails solitary con-
finement pen, playing solitaire with
| the covers from Turkish cigarette
boxes, which the guard shoves to-
ward him with his mama and water
twice a day. The only solace which
he had on first entering the Jail was
| that within two months he would have
a full pack of cards for they furnished
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

ger, and bring him hence" ordered his
majesty.
Within a few minutes, Huda, his
trunk packed for his vacation, was
ushered into the regal presence, well
knowing that the signs had been
switched under his eyes.
"Off with his head" shouted the
sultan, rising from the divan.
Fifteen brown forearms pulled IS
shining sabers and were ready to de-
liver the fatal stroke with the same
regularity that governs up-tO-date mel
odrama.
Stay, slaves" quoth his highness,
Il would fain give him worse pun
ishment before | am ready to deprive
him of what little gray matter there
may be beneath that bald pate. To
the dungeon with him."
The days routine over, the sultan
re-seated himself upon the divan and
thought of what had best be done.
Finally he decided that there could
be no place just like Jail as a punish
ment, and so Huda remained there.
However, the story goes, the former
student of the stars will offer up his
head on New Years day as his sacri-
flee for getting into the evil graces
of the stars.
Previously everything had looked
splendid to the monarch. The Young
Turks had not objected to his harem
until Huda got in bad with the planets
and many of that party had promised
to leave the country rather than be
called to purgatOry by decapitation.
Now all was changed. 1t certainly
| must have been the star expert, the
ruler unused to himself. His staunch
| est regiments were constantly desert
| ing him, the Young Turks were cominG
| closer to his palace in a menacin&
manner, despite the fact that the con
stitution had been granted. Would
| they never be satisfied with what wa
| due any respectable slave? The,
were getting control of nearly ever,
| branch of the government and now
was necessary to discharge his owl
ministry because they were pollute
with ideas of the party which h
wished had never been devised by hi
| enemies.
AS each step in this fearful cond
ton of things came to his mind hi
royal highness decided that it locke
darker for Abdul Huda's head and ais
rather dark for Abdul Seconds safet!
the latter being the sultan himself.
There was no one else to blame
on except the astrologer. Had not hi
plea of sickness when other nation
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

him a box of cigarettes with each
meal. That is, his friends did For
they provide his Injuries, while the
actual bodily necessities are given by
the ruler himself.
However, let it be said that the as
trologer does not know of his fate, and
he probably will not until the time
comes for him to be led out to sac
rifice his star-filled Uranium to the
art which he has studied throughout
his 40 years.
AS Turks go he is young man still,
and being unmarried there probably
will be few who mourn him. His only
acquaintances were court officials, and
they had little love for him for the
reason that he would at every oppor-
tunity take their predictions from
their mouths and turning them into
magic Turkish words return them to
the sultan as sayings from the Zodiac.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

pressed him for the return of their
loans, always been sufficient to quell
them? 1t had, and he could see no
other reason for the status than by re-
turning to his original reason.
If things went wrong in this man
ner Huda must have been in league
with the palace camarilla.
A double tap at a secret bell, an
order shouted down the speaking tube
and the officials of the palace camaril-
la were pinched.
This retinue included Ria Pasha,
the former minister of war, and Rag
hib Pasha, one Of the justly exalted
and highly honored court chamber
lains. Because he considered the dig
nifty of his position Raghib barricaded
himself within his cyclone cellar a
few pazas from the royal mansion
and prepared to sell his life as dearly
as possible. He opened fire on the
police, but his ammunition soon gave
out and the miniOns of the law es-
cOrted him into the royal presence,
who melted out 80 days and costs in
the royal dungeon.
Because the court soothsayer's re-
port had been dOctOred, the sultan set
about to corral the entire body of
hangers-on, who daily lOafed about the
court. This done he issued notice that
parliament, representing the people,
would be held in the fall.
He had to issue the notice himself
| for the former power behind the
throne-Achmed Izzet Pasha, his sec
retary-smelling the trouble by a far
better method than that which the
astrologer possessed, skipped the coun
try and few days later was reported
! in the United States.
Then in view of the new order o
things within his realm, Abdul II de
cided to call home his ambassador
at foreign capitals. Hence not Ions
ago we read in press dispatches tina
Mehmed Ali Bey had been recalled
from Washington and a successor ap
| pointed. The Turk recalled from tn
national capital is no other than tn
father of the missing secretary, ant
as a consequence it was expected
that the pair would connive togethe
as to the best mode of procedure il
the present case, for both might b
made a part of the consignment @
corpses which the sultan had billie
for the morgue on New Years day.
Thus by the foregoing will be see
that things are in bad way in Turkey
and despite the fact that they chez
the sultan outside of the palace unit
he has to empty the court water pitci
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
IY s, az Dyz1A=|,
GEl1[D[9[a[5[D> SEl0[L[ IS
HE WAS CURIOUS.

$50 you wish for the hand of my
daughter, do your" asked the great
lawyer of the young man who had
sought an interview.
Eyes, Mr. Smith, said the young
man in question, "Gertie loves me and
l am making good income"
The lawyer unused for second or
so, rubbing his chin thoughtfully, then
he looked up:
"Gertie approves of you, you say,
Mr.. Spilks, and no doubt you are
fully aware that what Gertie deter
mines upon it is of no use for me to
raise objection to-"
Spilks modestly admitted that he did
possess the imputed knowledge.
Then" said papa, going on with the
conversation, 1T is an open secret
that Mrs. Smith favours your suit,
and you know that when Mrs. Smith
insists, it matters not one jot whether
/ raise objection or not?"
Young Spilks owned that the case
had been stated exactly.
Then" said Smith, and for the first
time shade of interest crept into his
voice, why in the name of common
sense did you call to ask my CONSENT
"Why, to tell the truth, Mr.. Smith,
said Spilks, frankly, II was curious to
know how you would conduct the de,
tense, SO to speak"
Young man." said Smith, solemnly,
take the girl and welcome; there's a
great career before you if you will but
leave the banking business and take
up reporting for the Maily DAHL"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
AND SHE LEFT HIM GUESSING.
Woman's Directions of Little Help to
Travelling Lawyer.

A New York lawyer was called re-
Gently to a hamlet in Berks county,
Pennsylvania, in the interest Of
large coal corporation, and now he is
telling this story on himself:
He was driving along country road
and feared he might have lost his
bearings. The village he wanted to
reach seemed elusive, so he halted in
front of a farmhouse to make in
quiries.
Madam" he called out to a broad
German woman, who stood looking at
him from beneath a poke" bonnet,
"can you tell me how far it is to the
next village?"
ooh, yust leedle ways" came the
response.
"But, my good woman, how far Is
It? Is it two, four, six or eight miles?
That's what want to know"
yah, thinks So"
And the Wall street lawyer drove
on wiser man.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
The Official Mind.

The government requires 43,926
quarts of writing fluid (recent sta
tistics) simply because when the gov
eminent wants to tell man-say, an
examination candidate-to sit down at
his desk, it says not pray be seated"
but 1.-The candidate Tor candidates. is
Tor are) requested and commanded to
take (or adopt his Tor herr seat (or
seats) at the table Tor tables) with
his Tor herr pen Tor pens) in his Tor
her) hand (or hands," London
Daily Mirror.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

eye pinned upon the threat that the
empire would be disrupted by the NAL
contents.
Then he fired the cabinet.
And appointed new one.
Finally a minor palace official at
tempted to locate his majesty's vitals
between the ruffles of the latter's coat
of mail.
Each day as his majesty smoked his
long pipe, dismissed these disturbances
by a new shifting motion, the impress
sion began to gain strength with him
that all was not serene.
The use of the word serene in his
thoughts Immediately recalled the star
predictions of Abdul Huda, but then
no better star-gazer was to be found
in the empire, for had not the imperial
guardian of the Turkish empire tested
him many times and found that Abb
duPs predictions were always true?
He had
Then mentally the sultan went over
what his astrologer had told him only
the Friday previous.
Mars, the star which portended for
war, was gradually fading away, and
Huda had also said that within few
weeks there would probably be no
Mars.
The big dipper, suggestive OF the
thorn Of plenty, was brighter than ever
1T was true, for had not Huda in all
his wise raying said it?
Mercury, the swift one, whose ex-
;istenCe was memory of work, was
isoon to 90 into a perpetual total
ECLIPSE, so had Abdul said.
Huda's inside reasoning had also de-
Ipicted the eventual union between
Jupiter end Venus, which, of course,
;augured Nell for friends of the sultan.
Surely, then, there was no cause for
trouble, the ruler soliloquized to him.
iself, He paused and pondered and
ithen lit up with a new kind of to-
'bacco.
Fifteen minutes elapsed.
! "Ha, see it all" he whispered to
the royal fox terrier. "Huda's in bad
with the stars"
Then in loud voice:
Corporal of the imperial guard,
,frontl"
In came the trusty band, weapons in
hand.
"Hunt up Abdul Huda, royal astrolo-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
Put Blame in Riqht Place.

Bachelors are fond of talking about
the extravaganza of women and giving
that as the excuse for their not mar.
rying while they know in their hearts
that there are lots of women whom
they might marry who are not extrav-
agant, as regards clothes at least.
But these women they look upon as
dowdies, and don't want them for life
partners, which goes to show that
it is the extravaganza of the bachelor
that reacts and makes extravagant
omen.-EXchange.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
Fool Things We Do.

Remember the day you and she
had your pictures taken together, and
you stood hack of her chair and rested
one hand on her shoulder? Proud of
that picture now, aren't you?
Also the night she took you to an
ice cream social and you two got along
with one spoon? Lovesick, Ell!
Also the day you took her to base,
ball game?-Detroit Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
Not Indemnifiable.

The unhappy man was now seeking
to recover, under the Employers Liza
bility Act.
MY boss" he testified, raised
my wages, and l got married. No,
swear l shouldn't have got married if
he hadn't raised my wages"
But the court held, after hearing all
the evidence, that the plaintiff had
been guilty of contributory negligence;
and the suit was dismussed.-Puc
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
Mortuarv.

The dead past was burying it's dead.
It's a perfectly absurd perform
ance," grumbled the d. p. I'm only
doing this because Mr. Longfellow
tells me to do it,
Back of this seeming reluctance,
however, there may have been con-
viction that mankind would not begin
to act in the living present until the
funeral was over-Chicago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

for by Lord High Guardian of His Maj
jesty's Wearing Apparel Maid MO
manned, who whispered the words
across the plaza to tall blonde lady
who was interested in stars before
they thrust Huda into Jail.
1t all came about in this manner:
At a recent star chamber session
between his majesty and the court
astrologer, Huda informed the sultan
that as far as he could discern by
daylight the orbs of the universe were
in their correct positions, thus lending
security to the monarch.
A few days later the Young Turks
started revolution.
A few days after that the sultan was
compelled to proclaim that the equal
rights constitution of 1876 would again
be in force. This he did with one
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
Opportunity.

The two sat on the park bench,
looking at the moonbeams dancing
over the lake.
"Just one, Doris" he pleaded.
"'Sh!" she whispered. Il feel as II
some other man were watching u.s."
Just then the moon accommodating
ly went behind cloud-and the man
in it disappeared Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
He Spoke Too Soon.

Look here, old chap; forgive me
for speaking of it, but you really
ought to know Your wife doesn't play
a square game of bridge"
my dear fellow, that's compli-
ment to you. 1t shows that you play
such a corking game that she couldn't
afford to."-Lifa.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
a Mutual Service

You always start the photograph
when that young man calls"
Yes" answered Miss Cayenne. He
thinks it is polite attention on my
part and it protects me from his tore.
some efforts at conversation. Wash
ington Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
When the Wind Blows RIGHT

Stranger-How far is it to the stock
yards?
Native-Right here. Can't, you tell
by your nose?
Stranger-No; been smelling just
like this ever since l came in sight of
the town.-Chicago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

Il WISH said Mrs. Struckoyle, in
great perplexity, Il could think of
some good name for the baby"
Suppose" suggested her husband,
I'VE call him after a distant relative
of mine, who is a preacher. l think
I've never spoken of him, but"
rs he a good preacher?"
"Oh, yes; he's orthodox, and"
THAT suits me exactly" exclaimed
Mrs. Struckoyle. Wen call him Ortho'
doX. "-Chicago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
Hard to Get Out.

Finnigan-Ap' is there amy money
in goats?
Hennigan-1here is in thot wan.
Ffnnigan-So?
Hennigan-Yis. He ate me pocket
book this marnin' Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

To summer in a swell resort
Is more or less a treat;
But it is rather costly sport
Your money has winged feet.
And so the fellow who is wise
Will buy some drugstore tan
And for his breezes compromise
On the electric fan.
Chicago Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
Up-to-Date,

"Ycu have made this Cupid with a
revolver said the editor to his artist.
Isn't it customary to arm the god of
lovers with bow and arrows?"
Yes, sir" replied the artist; "but
art must keep up with the times"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
Ta.klno On and of the STAGE

Acknowledge artist on the stage is
usually man" remarked the Observer
of Events and Things; "in real life it
is usually woman. Yonkers States
man.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
No Need to Steal.

Stella-Jack stole a kiss from me
last night
Mabel-Poor fellow
Stella-Why do you say that?
Mabel-Had he been wealthy there
would have been no occasion for him
to steal it.-Chicago Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

co u r It A S.
TROLOGER ABB
Dull HUDA'S
New Years Of.
fering to the
sultan of Tur-
key will be the
formers head.
This Is the
latest bit OF
wireless news
from the i'm
perial palace at
Con stantinOple,
and it is vouched
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

I make an exception in this case. SO
thai other sufferers from kidney trou-
BILE may profit by my experience"
Sold by all dealers. SO cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
The Handy Man.

While we are much in favor of
Each man his merits giving,
The chap who's handy round the housf
Can seldom make a living.
He may be good at driving nails
And washing up the dishes.
But when 1t comes to getting rich,
He takes it out in wishes
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
lmmortalized.

Him-My name will live forever.
Her-Why do you think SO?
Him-Because it's Smith.-Chicago
Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

ut hurts, doesn't it?" asked the sur
geon, probing away.
mol" answered the patient, through
his set teeth. Il only think it does!'
Chicago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

ago / suffered mis-
cry with lumbago.
e v e y movement
was one of pain.
Doan's Kidney Pills
removed the whole
difficulty after only
a short time. AL
though l do not
like to have my
name used publicly,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
LARGE Chinese Import.

England sends to China every year
5000, 900 pounds Of condensed milk
and 10000. r:'..acs Of biscuits.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
A TEXAS CLERGYMAN
Speaks Out for the Benefit of Suffering
Thousands.

Rev. G. M. Gray, Baptist Clergyman,
of Whitesboro, Tex, says: -Four years
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
The Professional Smile.

Il suppose you must often smile in
spite of personal cares that Cypress
you?"
Yes" answered Mr. Stormington
Barnes, "but only on the stage. l am
thankful not to be under the constant
strain of political candidate
Washington Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

We'll, pop" continued the boy, con-
templating his fathers bald head,
what are the numbers of those you've
got ?"-Yonkers Statesman.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

Boy (who expected sixpence for car
rying luggage, and has received
penny)-'Ere, gunner, amt yer made
a mistake?
Jones-No! That's all right. /
never give less.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10
Back Numbers.

"Pop!"
yes, my SON."
Are all the hairs of our heads nun.
bered?"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-09-10

Sold throughout the world. Depots London, n,
Charterhouse So Paris, Rue dc IA PaIs Austria
Calcutta; China, Hong Kong Drug Go, Japan,
Maruya, Ltd, TOXIC; Russia, Ferrein, Moscow;
Potter Drug a Chem. Corp, Sole Props, Boston.
a8-Post-free, Cutcura Book on Care Of the Skin.