Devils Lake inter-ocean and Devils Lake free press. (Devils Lake, Ramsey County, N.D.) 1905-1909, 1908-02-14
80 $t5GyfS'
A G 1 r IL 81


was highly sensitized by nature. al-Si
though his father was a bluff. old cod
ger without an ounce Of nonsense in Y
his whole makeup. - *":.r 4
John Jappers fell in love. He had 4
girl, at least he thought he had, and he i
thought he had said interesting things i
and quoted poetry enough to make her 4
just crazy to have him propose. One
day he concluded he would try to see
how an. offer of marriage, made in {
true knightly style, would affect her ]
He arrayed himself in purple and fine
linen, so to speak. made himself look
as ravishingly beautiful as he could
be and sought his divinity. ):
Coaxing her into the parlor, where
they might be unobserved, he proceed. !
ed in due and regular form to offer I
himself. Did that girl swoon from eS.
cessive gladness? Did Miss Pinky
Brown fling herself on his clean shirt
front and SWIVEL in ecstasy? Well, not
to any great extent.
On the contrary, she laughed in his
face and called him fool; told him to
go home and ask his mother for a
gingersnap, and when he seized her bv
the hand and attempted to demonstrate
her black and tan terrier seized him
by the calf Of his leg and attempted
to extract soup piece from it.
Jappers felt his proud heart break.
he wished he had snuff to put In that
dogs eyes and pistol ball to put be-
tween his own. He waited like a mar
tyr until that pet Of hers had got
through with his lunch, and then, tax
ing his hat, he strobe haughtily from
the house, resolved to die, to smother
his grief in the lethean wave OF OBJ
lvion.
Looking neither to the right nor left,
he made his way to an apothecary's.
store and said he wanted a dose Of
arsenic to kill cat. The druggist had
often met these crazy looking chaps
who wanted to poison cats and rats
and things, and, concluding at most
that he would only make the cat sick
Of her existence for a few hours, he
proceeded to put up strong emetic,
with which our heroic youth strobe
home, fully resolved on funeral.
Going to his chamber. he wrote the
following note and left it on the ta-
BILE: -.'
Friends of This Earth--Fate has frac-
tured my heart She whom I worshiped
has laughed at my love and set her dog
on me. I, pass on. I crave the silent
tomb. I cannot live in the same world J
with her and know that am scorned. IN
have taken arsenic. ~
Then he took the emetic. Being
strong, 1t worked hurriedly. It appear
ed to waltz through his troubled in
terror, and he moaned like a stricken
calf. The family rushed up to his
room In great alarm. His father grufe-
~ asked him what the matter was ana
he pointed to the paper on the table.
The old man seized and read 1t.
am be hanged If the cussed idiot
hasn't been taking arsenicg he ex-
claimed, and, selling his hat, he rush
ed out for the nearest physician.
Grabbing stomach pump, the doc
tor was soon at the bedside of his
bowling patient. Then the fun began.
The parent Of that poor boy sat upon
his stomach, while the doctor applied
the pump, and the experience that he
underwent for the next ten minutes
was quite enough to make any man
Sigh for 1.-THE silent tomb" He could
feel it pull on his very corns.
After nearly turning him inside out
the doctor discovered the real truth
and limbered up his ''machine' to go
home. That matter of fact father fof- +
lowed him to know why he Withdrew.
II he was quite sure he had pumped \
him dry, when the doctor Informed
MIN that he had been made fool OF, &
that the boy had taken an emetic and
that he would take $40 for his trou-5y
bic in relieving him Of It. s,%5%, !, 81 3 z.z
That matter Of fact parent paid the /;
bill and showed MIR. Medico out Of
doors, and then, with a food of pa
ternal love Light In his eyes, lie return
ed to his son. ~ 1.I .s5:; ): s.5
He ordered the others from the room,
and, after locking the door, he began
to act the part Of an Indian medicine
man with the" sufferer. = a.
He warmed him with a. rattan cane.
he sat upon him and busted the most.
distended portions Of his pantaloons Y
with the palm Of his hand. He took !.
him by the two legs and, holding him I
up as be would a carcass of mutton. sss
he 'jounced his head on the floor sew
eral times. +=5S
There" said he, after his parental
love had spent itself. eff ever catch s.
you making such a COMPOUNDED mule of n
yourself again I'll cram pound Of nf.$s:
troglycerin down your throat and &
throw you out Of the window. Ii yon &
want to die I'll Ak you myself, but d
don't let me see any more suicide iii n
this house." T.. = E RI: 5,ss. s sS5z5$$$:a
Then he left that tender youth to Ills 4
own sad reflections. What they were
may be inferred; but, somehow, he h;
didn't care half so much for Pfnky u
Brown as he did before. In fact be. Il
didn't dare to die for fear OF his I'M
anti