Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-18
I simply adore tropical nowersl-

"
simply adore tropical nowersl-
Punch.
Ever experience stage robbery"
Once asked chorus girl to lunch"
Philadelphia Public Ledger,
How was the table at your summer
resort r Splendid. Never had such
canned goods in my life!n--Life.
what caused TINT awkward break
In the Conversations" "Some one
dropped the subject" -Argonaut.
Gushing Young Woman Ito baronet
at garden party oh. Sir James.
hear you have an acetylene plant, and
First visitor-w What singular chin
the old boy has7 Second visitor-SIn-
gular! should call It plural. The
Taller.
Bobby-Pa, what's press censor7
Pale Is a man who knows more
than he thinks other people Should
Judge.
Ii L
Said Shelf is said that married
men are drawer than single men. Said
He-Yes; they have to bee Chicago
News.
$50 your son Is now soldier, hey.
Uncle Ben p Eyes, sab; he's done lined
de malicious corpse, Baltimore
American.
I'VE lost a wheel" "How did You
get homer" ..One Of the girls let rs
take her Merry Widow hat"-Boston
Traveller.
"Bliggins enjoys telling people some
thing disagreeable" "Yes. He would
make an ideal weather prophet
Washington Star.
you know the poet says man must
be either the hammer or the anvil"
Lots Of fellows know are more like
the bellows" Boston Transcript.
Maud-But do you believe In vac
cination7 Bessie Rather. 1t kept my
sister from playing the piano for near
~ week.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Mrs. Newed- Instead of giving me
pin money my husband puts 1t in the
savings bank for me. Mrs. Oldwed--
Sort of safety pin money, us 1t were.
Jack-The fortune teller said would
marry a blonde. Belle-Did she say
how soon7 Jack-In six months
Belle (coyly)-I can easily be blonde
BY that time, ack.-Sketch.
D'Aubist-Do you think my battle
picture expresses, as have meant 1t
to, all the poignant horrors Of war;
Krittick- Oh, yes; it's the awfullest
thing I ever saw. Cleveland Leader.
Politician Congratulate me. my
dear, I've won the nomination. His
Wife Tin surprise Honestly Poll
tician-Now what In thunder did you
want to bring up that point for
Globe.
Are you related to the bride or
groom elect?'' asked the busy usher at
the wedding. "No.'' Then what In
terest have you in the ceremony Z" I'm
the defeated candidate. y" Christian
Register.
I .
overheated Policeman Ito medical
gentleman who has been called to a
bathing accident) Sorry you've had
the trouble Of coming for nothing, sir.
We tried artificial perspiratlon on tho
poor fellow, and he's all right now
Punch.
The Prosperous PersonThere ia no
occasion for you to envy me, my man.
1 have just as many troubles as you
have. The Impecunious One-I dare
say you have. but the difficulty with me
is that amt got nothing else.-Lon.
don Mall.
Trotter-When young Blffkins left
college few years ago, be declared he
was going to forge his way to the front.
Did he make good? Homer-As 4
forger, yes. He's now occupying
front row cell in the penitentiary.-
Chicago Daily News
You want to marry my daughter.
Ell? May ask what chance you have
for getting on in the world?" II have
an automobile, q yacht and an airship.n
well, you seem to have every means
for getting on. She's yours, my boy
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
George, was terribly shocked to-
day to hear our little Jimmie tell Baby
Augusta to go to blazes. Where do you
suppose he could possibly have learned
to use ouch dreadful expresston7.
How the blazes should known
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
us that you. Frank7' asked MIRA
Tippins In nervous voice as she
heard some one moving about in the
next room In the darkness. "It is,"
replied Mr.. Tippins. You gave me such
shock thought at first there was
man in the house. y Exchange.
II tell you what" said the old maid.
.srhey make love much faster than they
used to do in my day. YES" replied
the sweet young thing ''In your day
it was rented horse and buggy; now
it's mortgaged forty horsepower mile
minute touring car" Detroit Free
Press.
"Good gracious mani" exclaimed A.
cum. What sort OF suit is that?.'
''Thls," replied Dingley. who was at
tired In a combination OF football, golf
and riding clothes. sis what you might
call suit for damages I'm going MP
to ask old Roxley for his daughter
Philadelphia Press.
[. Com plea lions.
.Yes," said the New York inter-
borough engineer, I'VE were Citing
along nicely until our charter was ne
yoked by the grand chief of our brother
hood
.what viii you do next r. asked the
inquisitive one.
well. we haven't decided, but We