davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
DIDN'T SEEM so VERY HOT.
Canadian Weather Was PuzzIer to
Washingtonians.

/ wonder if our plausible friend, the
weather man, who always seems to
have an answer ready for any old
| question that happens to be asked,
could tell us what makes the heat OF
lsuch holiness in Washington.
Wouldn't it be interesting if he tried
Humidity is the usual explanation,
but it doesn't explain at all, at all. 1t
is entirely too simple-sounding. There
must be some fine, long, high-sounding
scientific name for that peculiar quail
| lty in the airless atmosphere of the
national capital that takes the starch
out of man and beast every blessed
minute that the thermometer registers
above 80. And when 100 is reached
endurance is stretched to the breaking
point, sleep departs from the swelter-
ing body and residence within the city
limits amounts to positive torture.
Witness last Tuesday night, for in
stance. 1t may have been hotter in
Washington during the memory of the
oldest inhabitant, but there seems to
be an absolute unanimity of opinion
that no more distressing blanket of
maddening damp heat ever rested
upon this city. And the mere matter
of temperature doesn't seem to cut
any figure, either.
For instance, couple Of years ago
when l was travelling in Canada the c.
P. train was held up for an hour or so
at Field and the members of our party
got out of the car, happy for chance
to stretch their cramped legs. They
tramped up the side of the mountain
and down again, ran races, wrestled
and finally, feeling as fit as fiddles, set
tied down, right in the sun, hatless,
too, to watch a baseball game-base-
ball, incidentally, being mighty popu-
lar in Canada nowadays. And then
as the train was about to start the
conductor laughingly remarked to one
member of the party that you couldn't
do that back in the states on as hot a
day as this.
why, it isn't very hot" somebody
replied, whereupon the conductor took
the skeptic by the arm and led him to
where big standardized thermometer
hung in the shade ten or Is feet I'M
der the wide overhang of the station
roof.
And the thermometer registered ia
degrees.
So I guess it isn't question of the
heat down here, but the quality of it.
All of which is highly Illuminating,
but doesn't solve the problem of how
to keep cool.-Washingto Star.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
CROPS GROW WITHOUT RAIN.
How the Syrian Peasant Makes Use O

How the Syrian Peasant Makes Use Of
the Moist Subsoi.
In Syria and Palestine from the be-
ginning of April until October there
is practically no rain, yet in July the
fields TEEN with a vigorous growth
of watermelons, tomatoes, cucumbers,
ETC., all f1ourishing without artificial
watering, although at that time no
rain las fallen for many weeks.
In fact the Syrian peasant, from the
moment his seed has been sown,
prays that no rain may fall. During
the period of growth of crop the sur
face of the soil to a depth of six or
eight inches is perfectly dry and loose
Below this surface layer will be found
moist soil, in which the roots extend
and grow vigorously. IN this moist
subsOil plants continue to grow until
the late autumn. When the crop is
removed in the autumn the rains COM
mence and the land is ploughed after
each heavy rain as soon as the soil be-
gins to dry.
Two primary objects are kept in
view in ploughing-to furnish IA
vorable surface for taking up all the
water and to prevent its upward
evaporation from the subsoil. The
great point is to keep the upper six
inches of soil perfectly loose and fri.
able, SO that the moisture from below
is not drawn upward and lost in
evaporation, but does not ascend high
er than the compact subsoil that is
not broken up by the plow. For this
reason the ploughing is shallow, aver
aging from four to six inches in depth.
When the time for sowing the seed
arrives the land is ploughed to depth
of about six inches, and the seed is
sown from an arrangement attached
to the pillow, falls on the damp subsoil
and is covered by the soil closing over
behind the ploughshare. From this
time the upper stratum of loose soil
prevents the escape of moisture up
ward beyond the wet subsoil on which
the seeds rest and into which their
roots after the process of termination
spread.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
DisiIIusionized Germans.

A friend who has recently been
studying on the spot the progress OF
opinion in Germany tells us that the
thing which surprised him most was
the apparent growth in the sense OF
disappointment among the educated
classes. 1t was not disaffection, but
disappointment, and was seemingly
confided to the economic results OF
empire. They had expected more do
nestle prosperity, and found them
selves, if dependent upon salaries
distinctly poorer men. Not only had
the genera standard of living ad
vanced, which is true more or less OF
every country on the globe, but the
prices Of everything desired in decent
households had advanced beyond all
precedent.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30

ously been occupied by cobbler One
day when he was busy getting up a
case an Irishman came in looking for
the cobbler
THE cobbler's gomez said the
Irishman. He is said the lawyer,
shortly And what might you be af-
Their selling?' asked the Irishman, re-
garding the sparse furnishings and the
few books in the Office. 'Blockheads,'
replied the lawyer Sure, business
must be good, retorted the Irishman,
looking hard at the lawyer! L see
you're all sold out but one"
Mr.. Taft takes keen delight in re-
calling TO Mrs Taft's memory an in
cident which occurred last fall, the
morning the Tafts landed in Yoke
hama, Japan. Several newspaper
men, Americans, English and Japan
csc, were in the party that boarded
the steamship. One Of the japanese
reporters, ignorant of the identity of
Mrs. Taft, but recognizing her as
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
big BILL TAFT'S
FAVORITE YARNS

| Among his friends and intimates
| William H. Taft is renowned as a
story teller. He enjoys hearing a
good story as much as he delights to
recount one. He is exceedingly prone
to illustrate a point in an argument
| with an anecdote. Most of Mr.. Taft's
stories are the result Of personal eX-
perience. His long service at the bar
and on the bench of the United states
court provided him with many of his
best stories. The following examples
are furnished from the memory of a
friend of Mr.. Taft, who heard them
from the lips of the Republican candi-
date for the presidency:
"Old Judge Thompson, who lived in
Southern Kentucky, was walking down
town one day. said Mr.. Taft, when
brisk young lawyer said shortly, How
dy, Judge?' and was about to pass on
when the judge halted him. Judge
Thompson was a stickler for the
amount of Difference he thought was
due him for his judicial position and
mental attainments.
$50, he bristled at the rather in
formal greeting of the lawyer and said
sternly, Young man, fine you $40!
why, Judge?' For contempt of court,
sir replied the judge. Contempt of
COURT exclaimed the lawyer. Why,
judge, | didn't know that court was in
session right here On this sidewalk
Sir Numbered the judge, this court
is always in session, and therefore al
ways an object of contempt, sir. Go
and pay your fine to the clerk immedi-
ately'"
Tom Marshall. another Kentuckian,
got on a rampage one day in court"
said Mr.. Taft, "and delivered himself
of some sentiments that aroused the
ire of the judge, who imposed fine
of $40 for contempt. Marshall pro-
tested that he had not cent. Borrow
it of a friend, CURLY returned the
judge.
Well, Your Honor replied Mar
shall, you are about the best friend 1
have Will you lend me the $1O?'
Remit the fine directed the judge,
turning to the clerk of the court, the
state is much better able to lose $40
than | am"
"One of the old time lawyers of the
South whom l used to meet when l
was holding court down in Tennes-
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
cUTIcURA CURED FOUR
Southern Woman Suffered with Itch.
ing, Burning Rash-Three Little
Babies Had Skin Troubles.

'My baby had running sore on his
neck and nothing that l did for it took
effect until used Cuticura. My face
was nearly full of letter or some sim
liar skin disease. 1t would itch and
burn SO that / could hardly stand it..
Two cakes of Cuticura Soap and a box
of Cuticura Ointment cured me. Two
years after it broke out on my hands
and wrist. Sometimes l would go
nearly crazy for it itched so badly. I
went back to my old standby, that
had never failed me-one set of Cuti-
cura Remedies did the work. One
set also cured my uncle's baby whose
head was cake of sores, and another
baby who was in the same fix. Mrs.
Lille Wilcher, ITO Eleventh ST., Chat
tanooga, Tenn, Feb. 16, 1907"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
impressions of an ENGLISH Visitor.


while | was inspecting Greenough's
statue at Washington and wondering
why on earth the first president was
represented in the act of plunging a
sword into his heart" said an Eng
fish visitor to the national capital,
another spectator happened to arrive
and 1 FASTENED to communicate my be-
wilderment to him. Why is he com
hitting suicide?' l asked. is the idea
that of "Nunc dimittis," as he gazes
at the capitol symbolical of the
achievement of his labors?' The spec
tator may have suspected my national
ity. for he replied, gravely: Don't
you think it may be remorse?'
During several visits to the CALLER
les of the senate and the house l heard
the transaction of routine business,
parts of one elaborate set speech
which lasted three days and some
lively debating skirmishes. In trans
acting ordinary business the speakers
were, I thought, more colloquial than
members of the English parliament at
such times; but, on the other hand
when anything like a speech occurred
the manner was distinctly more ora
torical than in the house of commons.
There was more gesticulation, more
fiourishing of arms and voice.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
HER IDENTIFICATION.

When that neatly dressed little
lady, nervously moving up and down
the platform, dropped her handker-
chief the fifth time, the observing
gateman eyed her. Others, TOO, OBJ
served. A young gentleman, also en-
gagged in scrutinizing the people pour
ing from the gates whenever train
Numbered in, who had several times
politely restored the article to it's
owner, was beginning to see some
thing queer in the continuous per-
foramance. He exchanged chances
with the gateman.
When it came to the eighth repeti-
tion-while the passengers from an
other train were filing out-the gate
man could stand it no longer.
'You seem to have heap of trou-
BILE, ma'am," he said, respectfully
for the nervous little person was evil
IDENTIFY lady-"in hanging on to your
handkerchief If you'd put it in your
pocket, you'd stand better chance
of keeping it, reckon"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
ENLARGE ROYAL BURIAL PLACE.
Room for No More of the Hapsburg
Dead in CapucFin Vaults.


Dead in Capuchin Vaults.
The dead Hapsburgs have outgrown
the limits of their final resting place
in the vaults Of the Capuchin church,
and a court commission has been ap-
pointed to consider plans for enlarging
the imperial burying place.
Since the death of the Emperor
Matthias in 1919, 1872 members of the
Hapsburg family have been laid to
rest here. The array of massive metal
collins, some of which are of immense
proportions, have SO crowded the
vaults that it has been impossible
to find proper room for the coffin of
the Grand Duke Ferdinand of Tus-
cany, who was the last archduke to be
brought there.
Two projects are under considera-
tion-one to extend the vaults under
the garden of the monastery, the other
to take in a part of the monastery cell
lars. The first would deprive the
monks of the solace of their small but
cool and shady garden, while the Sec
ond would only rob them of some SUI
perfluouS lumber room.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Old Men in Government Service.

Length of service with the govern.
ment is of course intimately connected
with age. No young man can have
served q long period. An old man,
however, may have served short pc.
Rod, and it is this fact which makes
particularly interesting the table
in the census bulletin, which
Classics the employees by age and
length of service. This table
shows that at least 1,129 EN-.
ployes must have been appointed after
reaching the age of 60 and that the
actual number appointed after reach.
ing that age is probably considerably
larger. Although the proportion
formed by persons of advanced age is
greater in the District of Columbia
than it is elsewhere, this does not ap
pear to indicate greater tendency in
the district toward the appointment OF
elderly people.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30

member of the party, interviewed her
industriously. Finally he got around
to the subject of Mr.. Taft's candidacy
for the presidency. "Do you know
Mr.. Taft well?" asked the reporter.
Fairly well, think" replied Mrs.
Taft. "He is candidate for the pres
idency?" was the reporters next ques-
ton. II believe so,' said Mrs. Taft
do you think he will make good
PRESIDENT"
"He ought to, l think" promptly re-
piled Mrs. Taft; 'he is an excellent
husband" SIS that SOP" interestedly
queried the reporter. May I ask how
you know?" Certainly" said Mrs.
Taft, II am his wife" The reporter
failed to see the joke and the inter
view appeared verbatim.
%
Some one asked Mr.. Taft upon his
return from recent speaking tour
in the West if the trip did not fatigue
him. He replied: somewhat, per-
haps, but not the way a farmer friend
Of mine once complained he was
fatigued He had another farmer
brought before justice of the peace
on a charge of assault and battery,
and was asked to give his version of
the affair. WELL" began the farmer,
81 went up to Bills place to talk over
a little business, and got to arguing.
He accused me of saying something
that I hadn't said, and 1 called him a
liar. Then he up and knocked me
down, and before I could get on my
feet again he grabbed me by the
whiskers and dragged me all over the
place" "Were you hurt or frightened
while this was going on?" demanded
the lawyer for the defendant. well,
no, 1 can't say that was frightened
much,' replied the farmer, "but, by
gosh, I was pretty well tired out when
he got through
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Perfectly Plain.

With all the impartiality of the par
tisan, Prof. Price set forth the conten-
tons of both political parties regard
ing the tariff
At the close of his talk he was sur
rounded by the fair members of the
Woman's Current Events club.
"Oh, Prof. Price," cooed the fairest.
thank you so much for your perfect
ly lovely talk! understand all
about the tariff now. It's just like a
lovers comparisons-the free traders
are the other girls!"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Mrs. winsIow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, softens the gums, reduces i
iammation allays pain, cures wind cotC CSC bottle
When Golf Is a Slow Game


L. G. Hull, the young American who
won nearly all the important events
in the freshman sports at Oxford uni.
versity, is good at every game but
golf.
At Chinnecock hills, one afternoon,
a new York athlete saw Mr.. Hull re-
firing toward the dressing rooms dis
consolately.
How many holes have you play
ed?" the New Yorker asked
Only three or four" said Mr.. Hull.
"Only three or four in two hours?
cried the New Yorker
WELL explained Mr.. Hull, sit
takes me SO long to put the turf
back"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
PAT ENTS.
List of Patents Issued Last Week to
Northwestern Inventors.

Reported by Lothrop & Johnson,
patent lawyers, Oil Pioneer Press
building, ST. Paul, Mimi: H. c. Gle,
Oldham, S. D., grain shocker; J. w.
Raper, Bryant, S. D., fender for agri-
cultural implements; Reubin Schultz
and ]. Neubauer, Wells, Mimi, quack
grass puller; H. Strom, Hillsboro, N
D., excavating machine; F. T. Vail,
Minneapolis, Mimi, automatic vibra-
tor for telegraph keys; J. A. Wanous,
Minneapolis, Mimi, toilet article.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Queered.

$50 you have decided not to let
young Fuddlethwaite have your
daughter"
yep. The engagements broken.
told Marian I'd disinherit her if she
had anything more to do with him."
Il thought you rather liked him.
think | heard you say once that he
had a lot of good points which most
young men lacked
ooh, did feel that way about him
once. But | had him for a partner in
a game of bridge the other night"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
FROM THE HAREM TO THE STAGE

The idle youth of Astrakhan are vie
ing in extravaganza over the enter
tainment of Mile. Varvara Leturin,
who has just arrived from Persia via
Askhabad with an odd story of her
experiences as first favorite of the
shah of Persia. Varvara declares
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Explains His Success.

"To what" inquired the interview,
er, edo you attribute your success in
acquiring money!"
Partly, indeed, principally" re
piled the great financier, smoothing
down the lapel of his coat and giving
away another town hall, ito the sue.
cess of other men in letting go of it,
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Experienced.

Never mind, dear,'' he said, reas-
suringly, as she raised her sweet face
from his shoulder, and they both saw
the white blur on his coat; sit will all
brush off,
ooh, Charlie she burst out, Sob
bling, hiding her face again upon his
Whitley shoulder; "how do you know?"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Not an Easv Matter.

Didn't you say six months ago that
if Miss Tipkins wouldn't marry you
you would throw yourself into the
deepest part of the sea? Now Miss
Tipkins married some one else three
months ago, and yet you haven't
"Oh, it's easy to talk, but let me
tell you it is not such an easy matter
to find the deepest part of the sea-"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Why?

Dad" began Tommy, haven't !
been real good since I've been going
to Sunday schooI?"
Yes" answered dad.
"And you trust me now, don't you?''
YES" said dad.
Then" demanded Tommy, what
makes you keep your box of cigars
hid the same as ever?"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30

quent. I was in terrible condition,
but Doan's Kidney Pills have cured
me and 1 have enjoyed perfect health
since"
Sold by all dealers. so cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30

The little lady, who had known that
she was under observation-her nerv,
BUSINESS not having been lessened
thereby-fushed even more deeply.
Then she laughed a little, deciding to
adjust herself to the situation, and
took the gateman and the polite young
man into her confidence.
mo, I'm not exactly crazy, though
1 don't blame you at all for thinking
So
II know I do have that feminine
habit in extreme form; and when my
irreverent niece wanted me to meet
a col eye friend of hers whom I've
never seen, why, she wrote her, as 1
jok" that she would know Aunt
Bcss' Immediately because she drops
her handkerchief every time she turns
around So what can I do-the poor
girl, arriving here alone, will be quite
nervous until she sees me-but keep
ON dropping it when the train comes
IN?
"But, really, that naughty niece of
mine has hit on good planI really
believe that now I shall find strength
to overcome this dreadful dropping
babit!"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Urgent Case.

DR.. Rush Ito bicycle policeman)--
You mustn't arrest me for speeding;
I'm in hurry to see sick man.
Bicycle Policeman-Come back
with me and see the sick man your
auto just ran over.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
THERE'S the TrnuhIn

Diggs-The man who can't take a
little good advice has nobody to blame
for his trouble but himself.
Wise-O! I don't know. He's usu-
ally burdened with lot of his friends
who can't give it.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
GueSSWork,

"How did Tandy lose his position
in the weather bureau?"
dictions out of ten, and they thought
he must be depending on guesswork. T"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
No End of IL.

Mrs. Jenks-Pm surprised to find
you looking for a servant. ] thought
you engaged one yesterday.
Mrs. Richley-Oh! she's a lady's
maid; she waits on me. I'm looking
for one to wait on her.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30

brown-eyed and graceful She an
nounces her intention of going on the
Russian music hall stage, where she
will pose in scenes representing the
mysteries of Eastern domestic life.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
HOYT's HEADACHE AND NEURALGIA
COLOGNE.

A harmless and refreshing remedy
that quickly relieves headache, neu-
ralgia, nervousness, faintness, exhaus-
ton, sleeplessness used only by in
haling and outward application For
sale by ell druggists. 20 and soc bot
ties.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Naturally Nervous.

Mrs. Blimber is very nervous about
there being thirteen at table tonight"
Does she think something unpleas-
ant will happen?"
Yes; she only has a dozen knives
and forks"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30

"See,'' said little Katherine, desc
is my feets.''
"Ah, yes, so they are And where
did you get your feet?"
81 didn't get dem. Dey coined wiz
me-
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30

what did Barker do when he dis.
covered that his wife and chauffeur
had planned to elope in his carr"
"He oiled it thoroughly and put it
in first class shape"
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Cool.

Patient was surprised to receive
a bill from you.
Doctor-Why? Haven't you been
coming to my office right along?
Patient--Yes, but you said you
were treating me.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30

FITS, st. Vitus Dance and all Nervous
Diseases permanently cured by DR.. Kline
Great Nerve Restorer. Send for Free 50. 90
trial bottle and treatise DR. R. Fl. Kline,
Id, 93l Arch St., Philadelphia, Pa.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30

WAS SO DdU WIFI XIII
ney trouble that I
could not straighten
up after STOPPING
without sharp pains
shooting through my
back. I had dizzy
spells, was nervous
and my eyesight af-
fected. The kidney
secretions were ir-
regular and too fire.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Indisputably So.

Adam looked at his helpmate
thoughtfully.
Well" he said in his emphatic
way, there's certainly one honor that
is indisputably yours, my dear"
"And what is that ADJ" queried our
first mother.
Adam suddenly smiled.
Nobody can dispute the claim that
YOU are the first lacy in the land" he
said
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30

Lots of men would be meaner than
they are if they were not too lazy to
exert themselves.
Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-07-30
Superiority.

Several of my ancestors rounded a
century,"
My ancestors were not FOUNDERS"
replied the other, somewhat stif1y.