The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1908-08-02
RESOURCE OF THE DYsPEPTIC.

80 ~
Henry, the hickman, yesterday while he
wa waiting for the New York train.
RESOURCE OF THE DYSPEPTTC.
Men Unable to Eat VINO Nevertheless Enjoy
Seeing Others DO II.
"In Baltimore the other day" said a
man who keeps on the move II caught
an old ~dyspeptio friend Of mine doing
a curious stunt. He was watching a gang
Of negro street PAYERS eating their noon
day meal.
He watched them with a sort OF fas-
oinated gaze. The feats they were ac-
complaining in the way Of projecting alb
soluteiy impossible things into their sys-
TENS seemed weird and almost lncanny
to my dyspeptio friend.
'0ne Of the negroes particularly seemed TO
hold the enraptured focus Of the dyspeptic's
vision. This negro had two gigantic sand
witches composed Of thick hunks Of boiled
salt pork stuck between huge slabs OF
bread. He gulped the two sandwiches
in about four bites and then licked his
chops in q hungry sort Of way. The spec
taole to the eyes, Of my dyspeptio friend
seemed something like watching a boa
constructor swallowing q full sized kick
ing donkey
ENJOY that stuns' he asked the big
negro. ~
iHad he enjoyed iti The darby grinned
and licked his chops SUCCESSFULLY. !,
-'You don't mean to tell me that yon
could eat any moro OF that junkF he asked
the big negro.
'The negro. still srinning. all but dared
him to find out.
well, get q couple more Of those sand
wiohes. then. my dyspeptio friend said
and gave him the money to pay for them
at the eating wagon presided over by the
negro woman In charge Of feeding the
paving gang.
"The negro sat down with the other two
away with the same easy and fscile unc-
ton that he had exhibited in disposins
Of the fret two. My dyspeptic friend
stood and watched him as he put them away.
Then he shook his head.
He couldn't understand It. 1t was
beyond reason. His own diet consisted
OF q little milk with graham waters. and the
idea that any two legged creature could
get away with, much less like, such n mess
as those four huge salt pork sandwiches
oh, II was the world upside down, that's all.
In the view Of the dyspeptio.
We'll, this reminded me of q rather cele-
brated character, 10 in the land Of the
beyond, who lived In New York a good
many years ago. He was quite q noted
n bon vivant. But through excessive
and kinkish eating and drinking he had
ruined his stomach.
He had ruined his stomach so thoroughly
that he could eat nothing but frozen food
frozen oonsommes, frozen fruits, frozen
creams, and the like. In fact he existed
almost wholly ON ice cream, which was made
for him by a chef whom he employed espe-
cially for fixing up his frozen foods.
Hot stuff Of any sort was worse than
poison to him.. Therefore, with praise
philosophy, this clever and accom-
man resigned himself to the system
Of getting his gastronomio fun BY proxy.
THAT Is to say, he'd enjoy watching other
man enjoyed some rare old feasts at
that mans house. I was Just one OF the
good eaters, fitted with a perfect stomach,
whom he had on his list. |
He'd find out the stuff that / or any Of the
others liked most, and then he'd have US
up to his house to partake OF that. stuff.
There'd be terrapin, perfectly cooked game
81 all kinds, richly hxed vegetables, rare
vines. ornate and rich pastries, phenome-
,ally fine coffee-everythinE Imaginable
IN - SoOu uCdi- Vi llo btuu, W tuC ldSC
legree tndfgestible, except for folks whose
Internal mechanism was Of cast iron and In
,erfeot working condition.
And 90, with such q spread all set and
n process Of being served, this bon uvant.
4 View. would lean back and Just watch
70 fellows. frtends Of his. eat and enjoy
ourselves. He'd be taking little mouth
uls Of his frozen stuff-a bit Of frozen
Cup or frozen asparagus or the like-while
wistful gleam In his eye as he watched
putting away the ducks and the terrapn
the choice wines-he wasn't allowed
ven q m6uthful Of wine himself.
@Then when 1t was all over there were
.uge black cigars for us-he himself wasn't
red just lie back and blow the heavy
doriferous rings Of rich Vuelta Abajo smoke
INTO his face and enjoy life up to the end
we used to wonder il this man wasn't
1t really seemed as II he was not. We
sed to ask him about that, in fact, and
% invariably replied that next to eating
he fine truck himself he enjoyed seeing
Their people capable Of approaching It and
bought, though, that his curious system
must have inv olved an immense amount
I se~lf-control and character.
He not only liked to watch folks with
me BtomacnB eat Ql1ncult Things, Dut he
vas forever buying choice articles Of food
or them to eat away from his presen ce.
Ie had q sort Of mani for buying fancy
Gods. and the most expensive foods In
he market too.
Whenever I'd see an oyster Wagon back
ng up In front Of my house with a big
'arrel Of choice oysters in the tail Of the
for me ! knew that my old friend was
the midst Of one Of his food buying moods.
Dr. he'd send up to the house some queer,
ich cheese. very fancy stock. or some
sar-le-Duc or guava jelly that had caught
10 EYE; or a brace Of superior duck. or an
ssortment Of quail. or an invoice Of reed
something high grade and
asty. and usually something that be-
to the domain Of epicuredom.
His idea was that this stuff was meant
D be eaten by persons Of sufficient knowl-
dge to appreciate such articles, and II he
eat the stuff himself, why, he
going to be debarred the pleasure
Z providing It for others not 80 well able
D afford II as he himself was.
"A quaint man this. and a generous man;
those Of US who had the honor Of his
riendship learned a lot from the sort Of
that he practised through 10 many
ears Of his long life.'
nxnD Ar,Jutr