The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-11
Always Get An Antidote Ready
 First
YOU MAY WANT IT SOON
Don't Kill Yourself ouickly-Study Up On the Many Effective Shortcuts To Cemetry Through the
 coroner's Office.

short cuts to the cemetery by way of the coroners office.
 Dying by any hurried, artificial, self administered means never can be all that 1t is cracked up to be foI the reason that until the victim begins dying he doesn't know anything about how it's going to feel and taste. One of the sorriest sights in all our highly civilized life is the spec tacle of that occasional person who, after dosing himself with some nauseatingly fatal drug, discovers that he doesn't like the taste of it and starts out on a wild, cayorting chase for an antidote that may taste twice as had as the poison itself
 Could any situation be more absurd? Here is our victim soused full of some perniciously active poison which he took for the first time in the first effort toward his first funeral suddenly turning upon himself and demanding of his outraged system that it hike him off on a All run for an antidote that he never has tasted in his life.
 There is no possible excuse for such a circumstance. For years these silly expe- riences of men have been pointing to the necessity of studying carefully the sey- eral suicide routes with view to making
 
 poison is fixed upon, let the neophyte as precaution collect the one or sev- eral anodynes listed in the pharmaco- poeia and have them ready on a side table, stump or stone in easy reach
 But as a widest, sanest precaution let the morbid one make tentative choice of several poisons. Let him get together the antidotes for each of these posons and taste freely of the antidotes. Some of fhngn nnicnn
 the stomach wrong side out, and even if after taking the poison the victim knows that he'll stand pat on 1t, he can tell whether some one with a horrible nau- seating panacea for it may not rush up and flood his system with the revolting stuff. To be jumped on when you're down with a corrosive poison and have some one squirt half gallon of oil of turpen- tfne whites of eggs, or laundry starch behind your solar plexus on the inside makes the ordinary hazing of college freshman appear like pink tea func- tion.
 Several years ago one of the large Chi cago drug stores added a few remarks as addenda to it's poison label on carbolic acid The management considered that it owed little registered pharmacist advice to persons whJ might be considering car 5olic suicids,, and in red ink it explained in this wise:
 "lntendiag suicides are hereby notified that carbolic acid imposes the most frightful suffering and lingering death known to science. If determined to 'go, why not take the easier route, drowning, which is said to be delightful slunIber, with blissful ecstatic dreams?'
 Coming from a drug house whose profit | able stock in trade included carbolic acid. | this warning against a purchased drug | and in favor of the free and unlimited water of the lake or river should have | been looked on as a humanitarian grat- 1 lity almost without parallel. But in !, spite of this the drug store has not re- | marked any especial acceptance of it's ex- pert opinion as to the water route.
 But there are some drawbacks to this l water route in Chicago where the police | gre likely to butt in unexpectedly. The experience of young man on the beacn 'ff Lincoln park is characteristic. This young man had walked out on pier and bumped into the water which he im- 'gined of drowning depth. Instead he anded on his feet in only four feet of water. A policeman, who had been watch ng him, suddenly sprang out of a clump of bushes with drawn revolver.
 Come out of that, now!" he com sighting along the barrel of the revolver; "come out of that or I'll blow yer brains out.'
 "D-d-don't s-sshoo-oot, p-p-please l-d-don'ti I-I-I'l c-c-comer and the speed at which he came left a wake like that of a motor boat at full tilt through ] lake of glass.
 The worst of the poison means unques- tionably is carbolic acid. It's touch upon the skin and mucous membranes means a horrible, soaring, whitening scar, which carries with it awful tortures Don't bother with assembling the antidotes if you are going to try carbolic acid If some hopeful friend should find you, how ever, he might slosh some milk down your throat, if he can. Diluted alcohol is about as good as anything else; or the whites of raw eggs may be used.
 Chloroform and choral are means of sui cidal ends which preclude the possibility of the victims helping himself to his ano- dynes after the drugs have begun to take effect. Friends who may wish to aid him may lay him down and put cold applica- tlons to his head; effervescing drinks should be given and friction applied to the skin; ammonia should be held to the nos- trials to stimulate breathing.
 Morphine and opium always have been regarded as quiet, peaceful means for shuffling off into the hereafter. One doesn't need to swallow any great amount of the matter and sleep presages the end. But if one is discovered by his friends as he is going under the influence, he may be treated to some rough usages while he is susceptible still to pain Keep the patient moving is one of the prime resusctating requisites, and if your friend may have few things 'fn for you' he is privileged to take them out of you at such time while posing safely behind the mask of friendship He can poor rancid castor oil down you, dash you with cold water drench you with bitter tea and coffee pour laurel water down you, rub your skin raw with gunny sack--al in the name of an undying friendship.
 Prussc acid or cyanide of potassium in the white cake of it's commercial form, is a popular poison for the would-be suicide. If you have an idea of taking it all back. you must nave your antiootes handy and get A move on you Chlorine and am- monia should be sniffed freely injec- lions of camphor should be made liber- ally: cold applications to the head exert a reyiyifying influence if you are not too far gone. It might be well to have made up and ready for use the following pre- scription. intro duced by the "Rx" of a physician:
 Gale chlorat ............................ OF. 1 Aq de5t......9.... ..... ...........oz. VI. Ac hydrochar dil m....................
 Strychnine gives about as quick returns as any known drug. You must have your anoydnes right at hand if you are to back water successfully. A teaspoonful of ground mustard or tablespoonful of salt in a cIass of warm water is a good