Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-09-18

MAUD is a decided blonde, isn't
shef" yes, but she only decided last
week. Town Topics.
"wunst / got dollar a word"
G'wanp Fact Fer talking back to
judge - Milwaukee Sentinel.
He-She is such charmingly inno-
cent girl. isn't she? She--oh, yes: she
has taken years to acquire 1.-THE
Taller
Doctor, IL this operation is success
full III pay you double" Il shall be
entirely satisfied with my regular fee"
Smart Set.
Ashley-Do you have much variety
In your boarding house? Seymour
Wen, we have three different names
for the meals,-The World.
what did father say when you
asked him for me?" "He didn't say
anything, He fell on my neck and
wept." Chicago Record-Herald.
Mistress Did the mustard plaster do
you any good. Bridget2 Maid-Yes;
but hegorry, num- ut do bite the
tongue :. Philadelphia Inquirer.
SsWaiier. get me a newspaper so
can hide my yawns this concert is so
stupid" YES, miss; I'll bring the
largest | can find -Fliegende Blatter.
"Eave you ever loved and lost?"
sighed the swain Nope" responded
the maiden, promptly. "I've won every
breach Of promise suit ever brought"
Cleveland Leader,
Ella --I'm TO be married tomorrow,
and I'm terribly nervous. Stella--Ies;
suppose there always Is chance OF
| the Ian getting away up to the last
minute Philadelphia Inquirer.
| Howard Why did he marry her at
all IL he were going TO get a divorce so
speedily Coward Because he didn't
think 1t would be honorable to break
their engagement - Pioneer Press.
Guest Gin cheap restaurant) See
| here, walter | thought | told you to
bring me n strong cup OF coffee. Wait
er--Well volts dc matter wild dat cupf
Youse couldn't break It wild AK"
Niece Uncle. they say that there are
more marriages OF blondes than of bru-
nettes Why Is 1t, | wonder? Uncle
Singleton On confirmed bachelor)-
H'm Naturally, the light headed ones
go first.
Villager (to motorist whose machine
has struck fence and thrown him
forty feet into the yard III Did You
have an accident? Motorist (plcking
himself up Bless you, no; that's the
way always stop.
"Bnt, said the fair maid, you seem
rather young to be wearing the title
of colonel" anyway" replied the
beardless youth, 1--WE participated In
seventeen summer engagements. -
Cleveland Daily News
The Parson-I intend TO pray that
yon may forgive Casey for throwing
that brick at you The -Mebbe
yer rivrence 'ud be saving tonne II
ye'd just wait till OF get well, and then
pray for Casey. sloper's.
1--WE got you down for couple OF
tickets We're getting up a rafile for
poor muu of our neigh" None
FOR me, thank you. / wouldn't know
what to do with poor man If won
him. Philadelphia Press.
when win your heart soften to-
ward me enough TO let me marry your
daughterY'' II don't think with my
heart but With my brains" Then
tell me, please, when can | expect you
| TO get softening OF the bralnY"
| Mrs Stubb--It stntes IN this maya
| zine, John that the shortest men on
earth are the Laplandcrs. Mr.. Stubb--
HIM They couldn't be any shorter
| than an American man after his sum
mer vacation Chicago Daily News.
Yes" remarked the race horse ''all
my achievements have been due sim
ply to putting my best foot forward"
"Yes?' replied the mule. Now, | find
that accomplish most by putting my
best foot backward ~ Philadelphia
Press
Elevator Boy Elevator going up.
Deaf Old Lady Which way is It go
ing. bub? Elevator Boy (lmpatiently;
Up! UP! bpl Up! Deaf Old
Lady Indignantly You talk TO me,
Dub, as If you thought was a trained
dog.
Towne-~I never saw man who was
so fond of entertaining as Henpeck Is
It's really remarkable. Browne-Oh,
that's not so strange You see, his
wife Is quite pleasant to him when
there's company In the house.-Phla.
delphia Press
Augusta" said Mr.. Wyss when the
quarrel was at It's height, lyon have
devised great variety Of ways TO call
me a fool" Merely a matter Of neces-
sity," replied Mrs. Wyss you have
devised 20 many ways Of being one
The Bohemian
Brown say, Jones, can you tell me
who was the greatest anancier that