davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

proprlety upon her entrance that she had
an appointment with the President, ana
1t was near the Presidents hour Tor re-
ceiving general visitors with appoint
ments. But once having gained the cor
ridor outside the Presidents offices, she
had become violently angry when re-
strained from walking right In upon Mr..
Cleveland and had turned loose upon !re
doorkeeper the stream OF remuneration
which summoned Mr.. Lamont into the
hall. Her husband. postmaster Oh dh
Illinois town, had, it appeared. Just neeh
removed by the remorseless ak OF the thefi
postmaster General. and she had come
right along to see the President ABOUT IL.
M Lamont found her in the hall TOSSING
ner arms wildly and shooting the some
what alarmed-looking attendant INTO
corner.
Madam said Mr.. Lamont soothlnsiS,
will YOU be kind enough to inform me
what / can do for you?
YOU? chopped the woman, regardlhs
Mr.. Lamont contemptuousy. And VINO
are you. runt?
"Now Mr. Lamont. as you recall WASH
any son of .Anak in stature, but his prev
ity in inches never was sore point WIFI
him and he laughed pleasantly over the
":Oh, we'll he said agreeably, I work
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

ers are now used, you know, instead of
the-er-the all-the- way-around kind.
Gee whz! Sure enough! Sure enough!
the young fellow gasped, and then he
beat it away from there with the red
suffusing even the tips of his ears
a wholesome looking young chap with
no sign of insanity about him created a
bit of a sensation In a department store
the other afternoon by walking from
counter to counter on the ground moor
and earnestly sizing up the proportions OF
the saleswomen. They looked at him
with a good deal of quite natural aston
ishment as he swung along, directing a
searching glance at each Of the girls
in turn. -,
well, I wonder what we've done now 2?
a number of the girls inquired, in tones
of mock fear, of one another. He must
be new store detective. Wonder what
we've done?"
The young man passed along, scrutlnlZ-
ing each saleswoman with critical
glance until he reached the rear of the
store There his eye fell upon a pleasant
featured girl who was sorting over bottles
of perfume.
"Ah," exclaimed the odd young GUS
toner coming to full stop in front OF
that girl. Same size to d I. and same
kind of hair and so on
Then one of the fioorwalkers, who had
noticed the young fellows peculiar per-
for1nance, tapped him on the shoulder.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

You know. They use them as ornaments
for their belts. generally.
The young man looked up suspiciously.
but the Kidding sign was quite absent
from her countenance.
tournaments for their belts?' he said,
mystifiedly and then she had to smile.
Then the young fellow grinned to keep
her company.
But look a-here," he went on. you
don't think she'd get sore, do you, over
my sending her a powder box, like as If
I thought she made her face up? Girls
noses all get shiny. don't they, and they
all have to use powder to cure that, don
thcy?'
She treasured him, and he took the
powder box.
Then he flushed quite a good deal more
as he proceeded:
Now. you keep all kind Of silver truck
here, don't you? Well I want to get a
pair of those-er-buckles, you know;
buckles"
OF course the girl behind the counter
had to ask him what kind Of buckles.
''Why-er-you know-g-g-g-garter buc-
kIes," he stammered, getting redder right
along.
oh" said the young woman behind
the counter, there are no buckles of that
kind used now worth mentioning, you
know The reason Is that-er- Gt
WAS her turn to stammer) "er-that-well
the up-and-down kind of hose support
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

rs there any particular department 10
which you wish to be directed?' the floor
walker inquired of the odd customer.
Nope" replied the latter, breezlly.
know where the opera cloakS are.
Y'see. there's an opera cloak in your
window that I've got my eye on as gitt
for my wife. Well, I've been looking Tor
a model here to try the thing on for me:
girl of the same size as my wife. same
colored hair and that sort Of thing. The
saleswoman there behind the perfumery
counter is just my wife's size and build
precisely, and has the same kind OF ha1r-
Could you spare her here for five min
utes or so while she tried on that opera
cloak for me?'
The young fellow obtained the necessary
purchasing facilities and he bought the
opera cloak that he'd had his eye on.
The man who goes Christmas shopping
with his wife generally tries to assume
the playfuly superior air
THE trouble is" said the young wife OF
one of them. biting her lip as she sur
veyed counter heaped with knick-
knacks the other afternoon, Sister Ethel
has probably been over everything on
this counter a dozen times. and I'm sure
that she knows the price of everything
here down to the teeniest little thing.
well, what if she does?' inquired the
husband. with the usual lack of percep-
ton that characterizes husbands
swell, that's the reason why l wanted
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

York's most disgraceful night of the
year.
NNE sometimes is forced to believe
~ that these producing theatrical
managers either are gamblers from the
heart" or else that they live in a world
of dreams wherein they are not furnished
with an iota of forecasting ability as to
what the playgoing public will or will not
accept. This little prelude is occasioned
by consideration of The Winter
Feast" a play which has just been
taken off, the New York boards after
a sad-oh, so sad-run of less than three
weeks. THE Winter Feast was produc-
ed by Henry MiAer's associate players.
Just how so accomplished man as
Henry Miller could ever have entertain
ed even the shadow of a fancy that New
York would accept The Winter Feast
is one Of those problems far out OF the
bounds of reasonable speculation. l went
to the first production of the piece, which
was given on Tuesday afternoon, IN
order that the death watch'-i.e.. the
indurated first-nighters-might be flag
ged." 1t was deathly occasion all right.
It was the dreadfulest experience of the
glad young life of the undersigned and
of everybody else that was Gagged in the
theater from half past two in the after.
noon until half past six in the cleaning.
Just figure out for yourself how you
would like to be in a state of captivity
for four hours while a gang of wing-hel-
of the period of 1920 bawled and howled
at you interminabiy. relentlessly. unspar-
ingly, horribly. Oh, but 1t was misery
magnified, gloom made great, anguish
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19
Co.,. -g/%@d@e9Ya5M 90

Mcintyre is now up against the Jop OF ny
life. or will be when Capt. Hams Is put
on trial.
Q ONE of the newspapers over here seem
- disposed to criticise Mr.. Terence v.
Powderly's recent statement to the ef-
feet that, after having spent lot OF tme
in looking over New York's main preao
line, he is of the opinion that the great
percentage of the fellows in the bread
line are buns who don't want to work
and who wouldn't work if they had the.
chance. All the same Mr.. Powderly 10
pretty nearly right, II not entirely So
happened to see his contention rather sat
isfactorily proven one night last winter.
a sudden heavy fall of snow blocked tho
downtown cars and crippled traffic. the
street-cleaning folks needed thousands OF
hands to dispose of the snow l nap
pened to be passing the bread line. along
toward ! o'clock in the morning, when
deputy street cleaners passed up ana
down that line and offered the fellows
waiting for their loaves a dollar and a
half for finishing out the night with snow
shoyels There were some hundreds OF
men in the line to whom TINS oner "as
made, and only few OF them look up
the offer The rest didn't want the work.
They were willing to kick their heels IN
the snow for an hour or so to walt for
the bread distribution. but they weren't
willing to earn a dollar and half by
straight labor. Mr.. Powderly generally
knows what he's talking about, and there
isn't any manner Of doubt that ne nao
the straight facts with reference to this
bread-line business before he put his
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19
g., QI<@d@feB59 eM~<S- q

you say in your horrid slang" she replied.
austerely. IT'S me. I'm buying your
present, you know
.'Oh, 'scuse me- said he. crushed.
We'll, here's four bits. Get me that pipe.
then
The shopping conversation Of husband
OF large ample nature and his decidedly
on-grasping little spouse was overheard
outside of one Of the store windows the
other evening.
Now, I'll tell you. hun. what I'd like
to get you for Christmas II I wasn'S
working for the government and II was
there with the bankroll. Well, first I'd
stake you to A set of Russian saoles.
Ought TO be able to get q handy, useful
little set o Russian sables for abous
twenty-five hundred bones. Then I'd ike
to annex for you diamond sunhursts
and a pup sealskin coat. and blue ZOE
boa made for the czarina by mistake.
and ten or fifteen Of those directory
sowns-without that slit thing-and-
Wake up, joe" put in the little WON.
an merrily You know very we'll thaC
all I want is that little lynx mum thao
we were looking at last night.
"Oh. we'll, let me dream on anyhow.
said Joe with a grin.
"Don't you suppose | know perfectly
we'll that you'd get me all OF those things.
if Won could?'' she said. sort O. squeezing
the big chaps arm, and then they went
on with their childish game of "choosins.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

lis that 500 said the secretary. with
wide. nnocent-a s-a- babe eyes. Well.
that's Lamont for you. He's doing that
sort Of thing all the time. Any amount
of complaint about il. He thinks he's
the whole works around here. Makes q
speciality of holding things back from the
President that the President ought to
know about. But, man. don't tell mo
your troubles. You come back here when
Laaont's in-he'll be back week after
next-and tell him. And. say. let him
have it good and plenty. I'd like to be
by when you give it to him. I certainly
would He and I don't get along a little
bit together. Meantime tell me about
your papers and I'll look 'em up and write
to you about EN-
"Whereupon the violent man quickly
settled down and 'Spinks' made a few
notes on his blotting pad. and the visitor
departed appeased and cooled out
'Mr. Cleveland looked into his score
tary's Office half a minute later. and there
was broad smile upon his face.
Dan he said. how do you reconcile
it with your conscience when you tell
such brazen ones? You tod that man
your name was Spinks.
why, thought I said Sphinx. Meant
Sphinx. anyhow replied the secretary,
bending over his desk
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

here and it's a part of my job to do any
thing l can to oblige visitors. If you
would be good enough to state your case.
why
"'WelI. I came here to tell Grover
Cleveland what think of him, that's all,
snapped the woman.
"Whereupon Mr.. Lamont tugged re-
f1ectively at his grizzled, chopped-off mus
tache.
Madam he said. after pause. tell
it to me. Tell me what you think of him.
Between you and me, he gets me guess
ing often enough.
"Well, the good-natured tone of the ban
tering words appeased the wrathy woman
instantly. She climbed right down, and in
few words, when Mr.. Lamont had in
formed her who he was, she narrated her
husbands grievance, and the secretary
promised to take it up with the President.
1t SO happened that there was justice in
her husbands case at that, and he was
restored to his little postmastership. But
Mr.. Cleveland from his office had heard
the little talk between his secretary and
the angry woman. and Mr.. Lamont was
Invited for some days by his chief upon
the 'runt' feature of that interview.
'On still another occasion Mr.. Lamont
was swooped upon in his Office by a mid
dle-aged man of naturally violent temper
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

I'll wait right here in the White House
till he gets back.
But said Mr.. Lamont. rubbing his
chin thoughtfully and smiling, would that
be exactly proper. madam. do you think?
l sleep here of nights during the Presi-
dents absence. you know, and there is no
lady staying In the building at present.
And ] observed that you are unchap-
eroned.'
1.-The goddess Of justice will be suffi-
cient chaperon for me. SIR nagniloquent-
" replied the determined female, though
she was plainly Modified by the secreta-
rvs courteous tone and ,deferential man
ner
.True-true.' replied Mr.. Lamont but
-er-who could I get to-er-chaperon me,
dye suppose? This last in very thought
full tone.
"'Oh. well. never mind. then-Tll return
when Mr. Cleveland gets back, she said.
rising, and the trick was done. She went
away smiling.
ION another occasion Mr.. Lamont was
called from his Office by the sound of a
wordy conflict in the corridor outside.
People visiting the White House did not
have to run the same long gantlet in
those days that they do now. and the
woman making the noise in the corridor
had got thus far by stating with great
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

over their respective political beliefs. But
the French horsemen knew what it really
was about. Before the duel came or
heard MANY Americans in Paris say in a
puzzled sort of way, why the devil don
they run their horses against each other
and settle it that way, instead of scratch
ing each other up with rapiers?' But the
Americans didn't understand that, accord
ing to the French way of looking at
things, the affair had gone too far for
that that tossing of the orchid just
screeched for blood and hull hogshead
of the same, and blood just nachully had
to be shed.
well, the duel came off all o. X. in
Paris suburb, and one Of the chaps was
spanked on the pulse with the other
rapier so that the blood came-all Of four
or five drops of sure-enough, honest IN
inn red blood. Then the two duelists en-
braced each other and it was all right.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

MY pen. remember It's MY PEN
."Oh. how / would just rave over a pen
like that continues the Commissioner OF
Patents. making a gesture Of rapture.
Look here, this is MY pen." says the
Judge, getting scared.
Let me write with that pen." urges the
Commissioner; and taking it gently in his
hand. he writes:
Dear Pen. Sweet Pen
But It's MY pen," roars the Judge
looking over his shoulder
"A good pen to sign patent papers,
writes the pen under the Commissioner S
guidance
Now just give me my pen" frets the
Judge.
But just at the moment a loud noise
is heard out of the window, coming SEEM
ingly from the street below 1t sounds
like the rumble and roar of a mighty
torrent. or the sound of the plain people
rising in their wrath. Judge Parker is
consumed with curiosity. He wants to
go to the window, but if he should stand
from between the Commissioner and the
door-tllen goodbye pen. But the Com
missioner. rushing to the window. keeps
the Judge informed-in a measure.
oh cries the Commissioner, as a
particularly loud roar rises from below.
Dear" he says jerkily, as a rumble
grows into a shout.
"Oh, what is it, please?" asks the Judge.
Isn't that just" says the Commits
sioner as crash is heard.
ooh, do tell me- pleads the Judge.
Now look" yells the Commissioner
dancing up and down. still holding the
pen, as a vicious murderous scream comes
I'D from the mass below.
The Judge can stand it no longer. He
leaps to the window. and as he does so
the Commissioner with the pen leaps
backward and outward into the corridor
and runs f1eetly down the hall, laughing
wfckedly, while from the Judge. who sees
how he has been tricked, there come
these hating words:
ooh, do come back. It's MY pen. II
tell the SECRETARY on you
Behold now the private secretary to the
Secretary of the Department of Agricul-
ture He is stern young man. who wears
a broad black felt hat; whose dignity is
never ruff1ed, and who commands respect.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

all sorts of hish-grade and we'll known
men and women of this town are being
asked to express their opinion of the
habit New York has developed during re-
cent years OF making New Year eve an
excuse for one stupendous all-hands-
around rumification. The opinions re-
veal marked unanimity of belief that
The town really doesn't need and
shouldn't have that annual drunk, all
things considered The things that
mostly are considered In this connection
have to do with the more or less in
voluntary misbehavfor of the woman
folks who find themselves swirling in the
tempestuous tide of this peculiar satur-
nalian blowout. The happenings at the
restaurants on New York's Immunity
drunk night" the same being New Year
eve, frequently have been described in
this correspondence. The incidents
haven't been exaggerated. They couldn't
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

+,,- Cor on .rt oa1,ervo
p,,+ ba continued 70 he obsessed nv the
,ad ond 1-e,1ou, b,oh
,,,.o,,s tb.+ borr;d +anta,izins blob
That nastv blob
Oh h,oh
>,, - .,,,, ~, ,,. 90 .bo
80 .,o, ,.;.t bIr, ,r.r+ the
..,,.uo ~ -
=. - 49, o.,ar With him
a:. .-;ao ;,+o w. tor;zo,
49,. -, go -. n;.. s.id.
49, r.:o 80 TO-. .ho+ b.,s;,,
.;,,
- ~. . Lab, i,,s. ont ~
w. a,,.o. ,,na oe ,.;s;o,, ~ b;s r;oht ont,c
10 n,,,1os g., Iittro ,ieca of manor rcd and
,.o,io,,, It,. of n.nar a, i,sienitican
,;ooo 20 manor
c,od-hra b,oh
::
=
A Nd now comes the man for the rent
"a But the shades on the gas jets are
all broken. and the doors won't shut. not
a single one. And the kitchen SINK mgh'
as we'll have stopper in it, sealed down
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19
Christmas High Finance.

ISVV1ILLIAM BAYARD HALE. who has
" got more fame by suppressing an
interview than he ever got by printing
one. is caustic, sarcastic man." said
a magazine editor.
Il once heard Hale speak at a bankers
Christmas banquet He always speaks
we'll, because he Is a clergyman. One
part of his speech I'll never forget. 1t
bore on Christmas games.
There is one Christmas game. he
said, that has become very popular. es-
pecially in banking circles 1t resembles
hide and-seek. You play 1t follows:
"A cashier or president takes all the
institutions money and runs and hides.
Detectives swarm out to find him. II they
succeed, he comes home with them and
has to pay forfeit.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

The point of difference is that through
it all the misunderstanding man feels
a consciousness of being involved In a
tangle that presents certain phases OF
humor whereas his mother or his sister
or his wife takes it all in deadly, solemn
earnest, and even becomes unhappy and
fearful over 1t.
The Chrstmas-shopping man is so nu-
merous in the stores these days that it is
difficult to arrange and collate and clas-
sify him and reduce him 10 a composite.
First and foremost, he is the merest bob
blng chip on the surface of turbulent
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

insistent and impossible Whlte HOUSE VIZ
itors into the exterior air.
Mr. Lamont was once passing out OF
the main White House door when his at
tention was attracted by a colloquy be-
tween a couple of doorkeepers and
sharp-voiced spinster of most severe as
pect.' said the former White House at
tache "The severe-looking woman had
been removed from a clerical position In
one of the departments because of series
of extraordinary letters which she wrote
to an out-of- town newspaper. raking the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19
Co.. -4(%@@5@ee1TeA sM<S- 20

"They decided after honor had thus
been satisfied to run their horses against
each other and find out which had the
better one. Match races are forbidden in
French turf law, and SO the two horses
were privately raced mile and quarter
against each other during the forenoon
with only a few friends of each owner to
look on. The race was a dead heat. but
one of the owners refused to accept 1t as
such, and he swore that his horse had
copied by good long snout More argu-
ment, Mother duel fixed up.
so they got together with their rapers
again the next morning, and this time the
other one got a cute little poke under
meath his cunnin' ruffled shirt. They
Rugged again. That day they disposed of
the horses over which they'd clashed, SO
that there'd be no further chance for dis
pute If they'd had another duel maybe
one of 'em would have got cut that
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19
But he's happy at that. He says he and
the three-year-old are going to have a
bang-up time.

But he's happy at that He says he and
the three year-old are going to have
bang-up time.
There was hardly a corporal's guard in
the House OF Representatives. today when.
in accordance with the formal resolution
adopted earlier In the week. the two
branches of Congress adjourned over the
holidays until January f. Many men,
bers. knowing that nothing of Importance
was scheduled to come up during the lat
ter part of the week. left for their homes
several days ago, and others blew out
yesterday and this morning.
Thursday. in green car bound for the
Capitol. two members of the House were
chatting about the holidays.
I'D go home.' said one Of them. but
l live too blamed far. 1t takes too long
to get there and back
Il live some distance away" said the
other. but I think I'll have to go Just
the same. I've never missed Christ
mas in the old town yet
Then, to the establishment OF several
listening folks. explanations showed that
the man who was going home lived l.s'o
miles away, while the man who thought
it was too far lived only 500.
But you see'' said the latter with an
air of finality. when his colleague ex-
pressed surprise at his statement. I'D
have to travel my 500 on the Southern"
And everybody seemed satisfied.
IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

know plenty of owners in this country
who time and again. have had every DOL
lar they owned, up in the tens and even
the hundreds of thousands, depending
upon the success of their crackerjacks.
But when their horses merely also ran,
didn't they simply grin and go back to
rubbering at the yearlings to see If they
couldn't pick out and develop a better
one?
ITS a difference you see. in what they
call 'temperament.' And If there's any
one old thing that the Frenehman is, and
always will be- why. it's 'temperamental
"XVhy saw Frenchmen even fight duels,
or what they call duels over there. over
the merits of their horses. There was a
duel of that sort in Paris three summers
ago between a couple of bone-headed
Young French sWells with handles to
their names.
Zach of these young f1ufferinos had a
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-19

would have taken real sticking plaster
to heal
Talking about hard losers, though the
English race following folks are the hard
est losers 1 ever saw. taking them az a
bunch. You rarely hear any fine, loud
cheering on an English race course when
an outside priced horse swings along about
his business and wins a swell race through
sheer spunk and gameness. They take a
thing like that a whole lot gloomily on an
English track. When Cookers horse,
Orby, won the Derby. for instance. and
in as fine a style as ever you saw horse
win. you could have heard the crack OF a
peanut shell in the crowd at distance Of
twenty feet. They puckered their ccun-
tenances into sour expressions and turned
away with never so much as a word OF
praise for a good horse that came from
behind, with an American jockey steering
him, and won a bulldogs race"