Troy weekly news. (Troy, Idaho) 1897-1933, 1908-12-25
Tobacco and Corsets.

The simplest and planest laws OF
health are outraged every hour of the
day by the average man. Did Adam
smoke? Did Eve wear corsets? Did
Soloman chew tobacco? Did Ruth chew
gum? Did the children of Israel make
Tor the beer garden after crossing the
Red Sea? Did Rebecca eat gum drops
and ice cream and call for soda water?
Adam was made perfect from head to
heel. How long would he remain so
alter eating mince pie before going to
bed? Suppose he slept in a room 5x7
with the windows down, the door shut
and two dogs under the bed? Suppose
Eve had laced herself up with corset,
put on tight shoes, set up all hours of
the night eating her fill of trash, and
sizzled her hair? When you come to
look at the way man misbehaves him
self you can only wonder he ever lived
to get there. Verify, the average man
behaves as if he were little better than a
fool .-Ex.
Truck and bosh The man of today is
just as perfect and whole lot nearer our
liking than those old biblical buffers
whose style our literary friend processes
to like 80 much. Probably, Adam didn't
smoke, but what OF it? He loafed and
dissipated around the garden of Eden
until he saw snakes and had to be
chucked out after cooking up enough
trouble and cussedness TO worry man to
the uttermost generation. Eve didn't
wear corsets for a fact, and she didn't
wear anything else but fig leaf, and a
frown OF discomfort, and if our scribe
thinks these are fashions becoming to
"perfect" lady he's the first one we have
found this side of the lunatic asylum.
. Ruth didn't chew gum because she
didn't have the price. But she chewed
cud of wheat dough before she got
Boaz and chewed the rag afterwards, and
for our part we would vote for the gum
every time. The children CT Israel did
rot rush for the beer garden because
they liked wine better. 1t is likely the
. Israelites could never have been per-
. suaded to invade the promised land had
not the spies sent over there the finest
bunch of wine grapes ever seen up t6
that time B. G. Rebecca did not have
y the good fortune to ''get next" to an ics
70 cream or soda water, but she huns
- around the we'll frequented by orienta
- drummers and fiirted with them ant
% wore their cheap jewelry. She lived NJ
~ to her opportunities to dissipate mucl
.' more than many of our girls today. Th
2" old prophets and patriarchs did not sleel
y in small rooms with the windows AM
~ doors cemented shut, but it would hav
~ been much better for the morals OF tn
s' day if they had. If David had nc
been drumming" on the house roof
w midnight he probably wouldn't hav
is had Uriah killed in a battle so that h
~ could get his wife.
We are not knocking the ''simpl
ne life;'' it's all right for those who like i
.re but if we had forty lives to live and eac
ne one of them was as long as Methuslah' 7
IS we wouldn't ask even to spend one sun
op- mer vacation stubbing around in woo
no sandals and goat skin diapers pickir
ow our living out of the wheat fields graf
oy- at a time and hanging up at night an
Inc Sundays in hovel which let in equ
ege parts of fleas and weather at ever
Lne crack. We much prefer the suppresst
diaphram, appendicitis and kidney Luz
1 nries of this eneration.-Stolen.
ols