The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-08-04

the Fans OF the GrandStand Country,
which realm was ruled over by one
| bearing the name of Chief Rooter, and
also the inhabitants OF that intensely
hot and torrld zone known as the
Bleachers. over which Bleacher Jim
hath sway and dominion. thought that
| Jay was the whole cheese, a lnonopo-
llistic. market-cornering. Standard-O OIL.
Pennsylvania Railroad and United
States Steel Corporation, all combined,
a trust, with the world in a swing.
$50 great became the popularity of the
said Jay that for many days he stood
at the head OF this great balloting
|contest, and no one was able to haul
| him down from the perch to which he
had climbed.
/ And it game to pass that there dwelt
lin the city which is builded on the
red clay hills beside the pellucid Dan
a man by name Frank, whose sur
name was Doyle. Now Doyle was
| mighty man OF valor, and fought In the
band of men who represented the city
by the clear and limpid Dan.
Verify the fame Of Doyle so went
abroad in the land that city, town anil
countryside rang with his name, Ind
the mighty deeds which he did Were
the pride and boast OF that, city where
| tobacco is prepared as burnt offerings
| for the shrine OF Lady Nicotine. who
/ u
| SO most of the men of this broad land
burnt many small rolled paper sticks OF
this incense daily in her honor, some
1 carried in their mouths small censers,
Ipopularly known as pipes, In which
the products OF the great Danville are
burnt in her worship. Now this Doyie
once or twice succeeded In pulling
from his high perch Of honor tho
| jay, whose surname Is Kanzler; but
always 1t behooved the great Kanzler
to put Frank forth from the place
which he did usurp, and so with few
interruptions his reign did continue
steadily even unto the present time.
| Yet there dwelt also In the city Of
the Lawmakers man named Revelle,
whose countenance was always so
brightly lighted up with famous
reer he put out of commission one
world-famous, much-adyertised and
widely-known individual. known
throughout the confines OF this country
as Sunny Jim. Now this smile caused
| It's owner to be known all over the
land from city to city as Smiling
Dutch" He certainly. II history telleth
US true, was the proud possessor OF
the grand, only and original smile that
4 won't come off. and among the ladies
1 OF the land he was known as cute,
and dear, and attractive. and many
1 long combinations Of essentially femi-
nine adjectives. put together as only
a woman can use them. were bestowed
upon him. Verses were written In
his honor, and his name was celebrated
in ballad, in story and in song.
And 1t came to pass that he. too.
aspired to the place, pomp and power
OF the mighty Jay, and he raised up
great following, who determined In
their hearts that they would pull down
and depose the mighty Jay. and let
their favorite, the Smiling Dutchman."
rule his Kingdom In his stead; so, too.
| by these was the mighty Kanzler ousted
from his high throne. and for one day
the crown and sceptre surmounted the
smile. But upon the next morn the fol-
lowers of Jay arose, yea, verify they
smite the mighty army of Reyelle, hip
and thigh, so that they beat a hasty
i retreat and once more Jay sat Sc
renely on the throne.
So hath this mighty state OF turmoil
and confusion, this revolution and up
rising continued, even unto the pres
i emit time. And so 1t hath come to pass
that there are many other mighty men
of valor, who are raising their armies
and trying to seize violently upon this
high place.
King Jay still stitch upon the throne.
but close at hand the mighty armies
of Revelle and Doyle, and the huge
army of Lipe is waiting the first OPP
! portunity to close in on him and take
away from him the high place which
y! he hath made his own.
4 It hath been we'll said. Uneasy lies
the head that wears a crown" and
4 the moral of all this is that as long
as there is any room for doubt the
army OF each man better cast all the
4 votes for him that they can. for until
the last ballot is counted no man can
truly call the place his own.
The vote Of each man to-day stands:
|Kanzler ....................
y Revelle. 1s71o9
DoyIe ..1S2,99S