davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

for YOU Dan, old boy" or "Hurrah for
Danny Dugan."
He had a ballot showed at him with
the injunction, Make it unanimous,
Danny; hurl in a vote for your own
ticket" and he put his ballot in the
other teller's hat and sat down in the
seventh heaven of anticipation. The
counting was finished In a few min
utes and Dugan smiled as he saw the
ballots all going o@er to one side. IT'S
a walk-away," he whispered to the
man next to him" It's a landslide"
said his neighbor. The chairman
stepped to the front of the platform
and announced the vote for president
as follows: For Peter Casey, 1873
votes; for Daniel Dugan, one vote"
Dugan grabbed his hat and madly
rushed from the room, with a perfect
howl of cheers following him. 1t was
his last appearance in politics.
The term political boss" images to
most people a stoutly-built man with
plug hat and large diamond, who
smokes long black cigars and rules
his ward or district with a rod of iron.
Sometimes he is represented as man
with a heart bursting with sympathy
for the poor, who squeezes the rich
citizen to help out the constituents
whose votes he harvests on election
day. He is generally typifed as elo-
quently profane, and story-writers de-
light to set him down invariably as of
Irish birth.
AS a matter of fact, however, there
are just as many different bosses" as
there are nationalities in the large
cities, for boss" is simply leader
for the time being, and that may be
for a few months, few years or
longer. And some of the most sue
cessful of all bosses" politically
speaking, have been Americans. The
present president of the United States
is one of the most masterfuI of politi.
cal bosses. Who in his party dare
openly say him may" with any hope
of winning out against his rock-rooted
strength?
The boss" in the cities, however
especially the typical ward boss" is
often man who may be evolved by
either accident or design. Sometimes
man goes into the game to help a
friend out, or to satisfy a grudge, and
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Too RastY.

Laura" said Mr.. Ferguson, cross
ing his knife and fork On his plate and
folding up his napkin. what is the
difference"
"Now, George" impatiently inter
rupted Mrs. Ferguson, you know I'm
no good at answering conundrums!
81 was going to ask you" he re-
sumed, looking at his watch and ris-
ing from the table, what the differ
ence in price is between the parlor
rug | picked out for you at the store
the other day and the one you thought
YOU would rather have but if it
doesn't interest you Wen let the rug
matter go by default. It's time for me
TO start downtown. Don't forget to
feed Rover Good-by. '-Chicago Trib-
uuc.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

Mr.. Quinby called up his wife by
telephone.
"Arabella," he said, I'D like to
bring a friend home to dine with us
this evening. Have you some@ing
good"
JASON" she said, you told me ySu
were going to bring friend to tao
dinner with US, and I've laid myself
out to get a good meal. Where is
he?"
"Arabella," answered Mr.. Quinby, 81
said I'd like to bring a friend. |
couldn't find any to bring. If dinner
is ready, let's eat. I'm hungry."-Chi
cago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
TRADITIONS.

The traveller entered the woods of
Georgia with the traditions of the To-
sality strong upon him.
"A close shave!" he exclaimed,
when some hogs had chased him up
a convenient sycamore, for he thought
Of them as razor-backs.
Imagine his establishment when he
saw none of the beasts stropping
themselves against the trees.
1--WE are modern safety-razor-backs,"
explained the swine, divining his
thought, "and require no stropping or
honing."
1t was with saddening sense of the
mutability of things that he at length
came away from those regions of song
and story.-Puck.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

WV YARD bosses" come and go.
WhH They rise and fall, and one
VW makes room for another.
The fluctuations in politics
are as sudden and abrupt
as the changes in the stock mar
ket. and the boss" of last year
may be the plainest of plain citi-
zens the ensuing year. One thing
is morally certain, there will never
be an elimination Of bosses" in
politics, because leaders are an
absolute necessity in every move
ment, and prime ministers and
presidents are as surely political
bosses" as are the ward politicians
who hold their wards in the hollow of
their hands.
Some people, good people, too, have
started in to fight bosses" and have
ended up by cooperating with them
and getting their aid to improve con-
ditions in certain districts. Fighting
a political boss" is an uphill job, for
'the respeCtables," so-called, are usu.
ally too busy to give any assistance,
and the boys" are all with the boss"
: / remember a reformer who tried to
win out on the presidency of a ward
club against the boss" He tried
two years and was defeated, but the
third term he seemed to be sure of
success. Nearly every one of the
members of the club promised him
aid, and Dugan, as | will call him, had
high hopes. The night of the election,
with 1S9 members present, Dugan's
name was put before the club amid a
storm Of applause. His nomination
was seconded by at least five addi-
tional speeches, each glowing eulogy
of Danny Dugan's staunch qualities
and services to the party" Dugan sat
entranced with the praises which were
being handed out to him. The boss
candidate, Casey, was nominated in a
half-dozen words and feebly seconded
by only one individual.
Dugan himself was appointed one of
the telIers, and roar of appreciation
shook the hall as the chairman an
nounced his selection. Dugan went up
and down the aisles, and everybody
gave him the glad hand" and folded
their ballots and tossed them into the
hat he carried with There's another
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Useless Society.

Mrs. Jones often declared that she
enjoyed a little chat with their fish
dealer because he was a man of such
original ideas, but one day, says Lon
don Opinion, she returned from mar
ket somewhat puzzled by his remarks.
Il said to him. just in the way of
conversation" declared Mrs. Jones,
that l had heard that q man becomes
like that with which he most associ-
ates.
THAT'S ridiculous, Mrs. Jones!' he
answered. I've been a fishmonger
all my life and can't swim yard"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
EASY Order to Fill.

Dealer-Dogs! Yes, we have az! the
finest breeds sir, any number of
prize
Customer-Oh, / don't want any of
the costly, ultrafashionable breeds. l
want a common dog, a regular street
cur, something that will be a nuisance
to the neighbors.
Dealer-Um-well, they'll all be
that.-New York Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Using the Telephone.

1t was the first time she had ever
used telephone and the drug clerk
detected the fact by the nervous way
In which she held the receiver.
Dear me-" she exclaimed, timidly,
why are all those sievelike holes In
the mouthpiece?"
They are there for a purpose" re-
piled the drug clerk, solemnly.
What purpose?"
"Why, so you can strain your voice"
And she was so embarrassed she
forgot the number she was to call up.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
He Could Prove II.

What was his excuse for not meet
ing you last night?"
HE said he was run down by an
automobile on his way to the appoint
cd place"
you didn't believe any such yarn
as that, did your"
Sure, / had to. You see, he was
in the hospital when he told it to me-"
Detroit Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Strange, II True.

"a curious thing happened at lit
tie gathering which l attended a few
nights ago"
did somebody, mistaking the host
for one of the guests, tell him it was
stupid?"
mo. A young lady who was asked
to sing got up without any urging"
ooh, I've seen girls do that"
But this one could sing. Chicago
Record-Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
They SAY This Occurred.

well, children" beamed the Sunday
school superintendent, what shall l
talk to you about this morning? Come,
GOMEZ want you to choose what you
want to hear about. Any little boy or
girl here suggest something? What
shall l speak about?"
A long silence. Then a boy in the
back row ventures
What dyer know about?"-Cleve-
land Leader.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Bobby Was Curious.

Little Bobby was leaning over the
bridge gazing down into the clear wa
tiers of the lake.
"Oh, pa" he exclaimed suddenly,
what kind of fish are those swimming
over there?"
my son." replied his father, that is
a school of German carp"
Bobby was thoughtful.
"A school, pa? And do they have
German essons?"-Chicago Daily
News,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Tit for Tat

"Deuced bore, that fellow is. He al
ways talks for about an hour about
that baby of his, doesn't he?"
"Never did to me. Always leaves
in about five minutes"
Gee! How do you work it?"
II dunno. l always read him little
of my poetry, and-"-Cleveland
Leader.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Forcinu His Chances.

so Shadiboy is in trouble again."
Yes, bit of a card scandal"
Il told him not TO play unless he
could afford to lose"
He must have gotten your advice
mixed, and decided he couldn't afford
to play unless he didn't lose. Wash
ington Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
External Evidence,

Little Clarence had the experience
or the first time of taking his bath in
cold room with water not at the
usual temperature. His mamma left
him for moment, while he looked
aghast at the goose flesh" that APP
peared.
Hurry up, mamma" he called. I'm
turning into chicken. "-Harper's
Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

Mrs. Spriggs-Why do you leave
those horrid blots in your letter to
Mr.. Richman. asking for business In
terview?
Mr. Spriggs-I want him to see that
] am business man enough to uge a
fountain pen.--New York Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Secret of Success.

Thin Boarder-I don't see how you
manage to fare so well at this board
ing house. have industriously
courted the landlady and all her
daughters, but I'm half starved.
Fat Boarder-I courted the cook
New York Weekly
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Cause for Pain.

Patience see new theory by the
British Medical Journal is that per-
sons resembling each other suffer
from the same diseases.
Patrice-Well, if looked like some
people / know, I'd suffer all right
Yonkers Statesman.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
W T. Z u.s. e - = : : : = .,
Luck.

Luck.
81 suppose you wouldn't part with
this dear old farmhouse for anything"
said the enthusiastic girl.
NO" answered Farmer Corntossel.
Il don't expect to-"
You regard it as kind of mas
cot, don't you?"
We'll the fellow that managed to
sell it to my father was pretty lucky"
Washington Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Experienced.

HAS Millyuns any technical knowl-
edge?"
Il should think he has. Why, man,
1t was technicalities that kept him out
Of iail."-Detroit Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
COMMERCIAL.

Zones never can forget his bust
ness for a minute. Even at the ball
last night"
We'll, what happened?"
When a young lady told him that
her partner had engaged her for the
next dance he Immediately offered
to buy out her partner. Detroit Free
Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Probably.

"Ps. why did they kill the fatted
CAT when the prodigal son returned"
Probably because the meat trust
lad made prices so high that they
couldn't afford TO patronize the
bGteher Chicago Record.Herald.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Her Leisure Hours.

Il would like to see some novels"
said the pretty stenographer in the
book store.
Yes, miss replied the polite clerk
Here are the novels of the days
But, er-haven't you any novels of
the night? That is the only time l
have to read Chicago Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Advancement,

"The pen is mightier than the
sword" said the man who quotes.
"Yes," answered the military en-
thusiast, "but times have changed.
That isn't saying the typewriter is
mightier than the machine gun
Washington Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
A COMPARISON.

"Bliggins makes great fuss over
trihes," said the critical person.
EYES," answered the nervous man.
you can't ask him the time of day
without his getting as excited as
cuckoo clock!"-Washingt Star.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

Earlie-Ma, can't go to the circus
and see the wild man?
His Ma-No, child, but I'll do the
best I can for you. I'll iron all the
button holes out of your fathers
shirts
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Stopped a Runaway.

Patience-She stopped a runaway
once.
Patrice-She must be brave.
Brave, why?"
ITO stop runaway"
"Oh, l mean a fellow wanted her to
elope, and she wouldn't do it."-Yonk.
ers Statesman.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

al am glad to write my endorse.
n7ent of the great remedy, Peruna. I
do SO most heartily. "--JuIia MariOwe.
Any remedy that benefits digestion
strengthens the nerves.
The nerve centers require nutrition.
If the digestion is impaired, the nerve
centers become anemic, and nervous
debility is the result
l%~%-~>->
Pernna is not a nerVine nor a
I sLmnianL 1t benefits the nerves I
! by beneffing digestion.
Peruna frees the stomach of ca
tarrhal COMPOSITIONS and normal diges-
ton is the result.
In other words, Peruna goes to the
bottom of the whole difficulty, when
the disagreeable symptoms disappear.
Mrs. ]. G. Jamison, Wallace, Cal,
writes:
II was troubled with my stomach
for six years. Was treated by three
doctors. They said that l had nervous
dyspepsia. l was put on a liquid diet
for three months.
Il improved under the treatment,
but as soon as l stopped taking the
medicine, l got bad again.
II saw testimonial of a man whose
case was similar to mine being cured
by Peruna, so thought I would give it
a trial.
Il procured a bottle at once and
commenced taking it. l have taken
several bottles and am entirely cured"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

Again..

Museum Attendant-We cannot tell
million years old
Old Gentleman-Hem. I see. Fee
male Of it's species, Ell?
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Mathematical.

Are you going to make an example
Of that grafter?" said one statesman.
Hes worse than an example now,
answered the other. He's a problem. .
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
The True Art Lover.

How oft is genius without heart,
Insensible and cold.
We listeners humbly pay for art,
The singer sings for gold.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

full ones do this, and the unsuccessful
ones remain at the same old stand, re.
Wiling the ingratitude of the ones who
made the rifle" and got away with
their bundle"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, softens the gums reduces IN
Examination, aays pain, wind collie. Csc bottle.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

Many a married woman's idea of a
stylish hat is one that costs more than
her husband can afford to pay.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
Advertise.

And IL you want business get out
after 1t and tote it home with you
Salt Lake Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

Evelyn-Don't you think, Harold,
that June is common month to get
married in? Almost all the weddings
take place that month
Harold-Well what's the matter
with July, then?
Evelyn-N-o; let's make it the TWEEN
tieth.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11

Usually the man who believes in
paying as he goes stays at home.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-06-11
For ANY Disease or Injury

For Any Disease or INJURY to
the eye, use PETTIT'S EYE SALVE, abb
solutely harmless, acts quickly, 25c. All
druggists or Howard Bros, Buffalo, n. Y.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1908-07-24
Why the Boys Leave the Farm.

S. A. Hover, Of the Missouri state
normal school, gives some good rea.
sons why the boys leave the farm. He
says:
One reason is because our methods
of instruction in the country schools,
until very recently, all tend to lead
the boy cityward. Most of his
text books are written by city people,
and many Of his teachers are brought
from the city to instruct him in city
ways. Captains Of industry have been
held up before him as models, and
little or nothing has ever been done
to put him in touch and sympathy
with his country surroundings.
On the contrary he has been taught
that the country is a good place to get
away from that, the city only could
supply his mental and bodily wants
to the full. Until recently we have
had no text books on the different
divisions of agriculture that have been
adapted to the needs of the country
boy, and never a word or instruction
from any of his teachers upon the sub
ject. The idea with both country teach
ers and country parents has often
been to get the children away to the
city where they would have better edu-
cational advantages.
This is all wrong, but fortunately,
the country Is waking up to the injus-
tice that has been done and reforms
are being inaugurated in many places.
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1908-07-24
Work With a Will,

A Farmers Union member In CIV
Ing his Ideas of unionism as applied
to the farmer, says:
eve want to organize till we have
a large majority of the farmers of the
State enrolled as members, then we
will know where our forces are and
who to depend upon in time of action.
Cur business department should be
SO complete and cooperative that We
would have a channel through which
every member could secure equal priv
ileges and benefits. Some Of the coun-
ties are succeeding along this line
while some are doing nothing. We
can so combine and cooperate as will
benefit every one. That would mean
brotherhood, cooperative union.
If we take up the complicated
questions that come before us, it must
be with will and determination that
means success, for, after we have talk.
en- stand and failed we are worse off
than before we began if tina. failure
was for lack of effort.
"To succeed we must take very
broad view Of the subject. whatever
1t be, Cor other interests are necessa-
riiy affected by it.
whatever we undertake must have
a very careful and intelligent investi-
cation; then after a knowledge of the
situation, push the matter to a success
with all the cooperative force OF the
union.
IF we wish to build for the union
it must be done on plans that are
common sense, practical, safe. They
may be opposed for a while. but the
light will succeed"
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1908-07-24
Women and the Farmers Union.

Mrs. S. C. Mirrell, writing to the
Jasper, Florida, News urging women
to take an active interest in the Farm.
ers' Union, says:
Il think the ladies can promote our
privileges very much by joining the
union and working for it, while our
fathers. husbands, and brothers are
endeavoring to solve and master the
business problems that confront us.
Since joined the union and
learned more about its principles, the
better like it, and hope that it will
succeed. Sisters, let's join in the bat.
tie for justice, equity, and the golden
rule, then, when we have succeeded we
can enjoy the victories as much as
any one.
"There are so many things which
require the best thought and action OF
the farmer. The financial exchanges
should be so adjusted, that when the
farmer has anything to sell, he could
realize as much profit on his invest.
ment as any one else. We should
raise everything that we need If pos
sible and buy only the luxuries. An
other subject, and think the greatest
of them all, is the education Of our
boys and girls. Oh, how we wish
them educated and refined, but SC
many have TO be denied the opportu'
mites and privileges that should TT
them for the positions Of life.
"If the tillers of the soil could get
their share Of the wealth which they
produce, they could have more money
to spend, spare their children long
er from the farm and give to them the
much needed advantages that their
cousins Of the cities have"
The Rice belt journal. (Welsh, Calcasieu Parish, La.) 1900-19??, 1908-07-24
Farmers acd the Farnstx un,on

How does the income from the farm,
er's labor in proportion to his hour,
compare with that Of other labor.rs,
In discussing this question there
are several factors to be taken into
consideration. First, most farmero
are part capitalists, as well as laborsr
and we must credit a part OF his in
come to his capital. His teams bar.
ness, implements. feed, and seed And
also his land. if he is a landowner
are so much capital, for which wa
must allow reasonable income Sen
ond, the families of farmers can and
do help more toward earning the LIVING
than the families Of other classes ~
laborers, Even siX-year-old child
on the farm, can do many little turns
by which it can earn its salt" and
even earn part Of its bread
In order to make the comparison "a
nearly equal as possible, take the casa
Of farmer who works another mans
farm for One-half the income Cor DOS.
sibly less), having everything fur.
nished him by his landlord Then tbs
living of the family may be said to
depend entirely upon their labor. But
even in this case the different members
of the family have a much better on.
pOrtunty to assist in earning the liy.
ing than in the cases of most families
living in town.
Now, a wage-earner in town is sun.
posed to be able to support a family
in respectable style, almost entirely
by working eight hours per day when
he has steady work. Thanks to the
results of organization. But where
can we find even one farmer who can
do this, unless he has a considerable
amount Of capital to assist his labor,
to say nothing Of all of them doing
So Even a man who owns a five
thousand dollar outfit, consisting Of
land and supplies, must work more
than eight hours a day in order to
make ends meet properly and lay up
little each year for old age.
Now, We don't want to be understood
as begrudging the wage-earner what he
has gained by means of his union, for
we believe in labor unions, as we'll as
in farmers unions. The point intend.
ed is to show that farmers ought to
strive as earnestly and as successfully
to improve their conditions, as wage.
earners have done and are still doing.
The farmers independence that we
hear so much about is nice thing no
doubt, but he should have an income
sufficient to support and educate his
family In a manner BETTING an Amerl.
can citizen. And in order to secure
this he must devote enough time,
money and earnestness to his union
to enable him to price his own pro-
duets.-Union Farmer.