davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

had said that she had spoken a "oro
about it, postponed the spring house,
skinning, but she knew that it would
have to be done. as usual. sooner or iater.
Mrs Jobson's domestic dope as 10 THESE
matters never fails to run to form
Four evenings ago Mr.. Jobson came In
with something on his mind.
..Tired?' he said, bit sarcasucaly. 10
Mrs. Jobson after she had greeted him.
She replied that she wasn't suner1ng
from any unusual WEAKNESS Why!
she asked him.
Because" said Mr.. Jobson. m sort
of wondering why you're giving me such
first rate limits OF furnace around
this plant this year.
Mrs. Jobson knew what was coming.
but Of course she had to ask him to eiu-
cidate.
at isn't obvious to you. then. that
you've forgotten something?" said MT
Jobson, raspingly. ut isn't borne In upon
YOU at all that you've overlooked any
thing-some benign and pleasant and
necessary old custom. we'll say-around
here this season."
Mrs. Jobson shook her head-but she
knew she knew!
"Well IL you don't seem to apprehend:
said Mr.. Jobson femme tell you. You'll
notice., by examining the windows care
fully. for instance. that the lace curtains.
with the windows wide open. are still up:
That the furniture. also with the windows
wide open, are still uncovered. and that
the furniture is gathering grit and CRIME
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30
and fame Of his long-ago predecessor.

and fame Of his long ago predecessor.
Senator Stewart charges in his book
that johnson was drunk when sworn In
as Vice President that he was jagged
when informed of the assassination Of
President Lincoln and that most of the
time he was mentally and physically IN
state OF comprehensive souse. AS Sem
ator Stewart who is somewhat of
Fourth Of July linguist himself. has been
edited on this occasion by George Roth
we'll Brown of the Boston Herald. men,
Der Of the Capitol press gallery. 1t is
really unnecessary to say more. except
that once when George was crossing
plowed field In search Of daisies or some
thing he was freed by male cow and
used language that blistered the paint
on barn door three miles away. So
tbs easy to see that the late lamented
Andy johnson gets all that's coming to
him and perhaps just a little bit more.
On the homeopathic principle of like
curing like. or. as It's expressed IN the
medical schools, simila sinilibus whatchu-
may callem. Mr.. Brownlow kicks up con-
siderab BILE dust himself in his reply. He
denies the charges against Johnson in
general and In particular and calls Sem
sen.'' a "pothouse politician" and lots
of other things. mentioning in one in
stance that the chief feature of Mr..
Stewards TRADE against Mr. Johnson may
be likened to the opening of clogged
sewer" And he branches out from that
and gets more fluent as he goes along.
to the extent of 1000 words. which will
soo.l be published in the Taylor-Trotwood
maya zine, down in Tennessee.
George told me last week that II
gave him and Stewart boost he'd see
that I got a copy of the "reminiscences.
I'm waiting at the church.
X X X X X
Everybody loves Representative Pleas
ant Chapman. the sage OF Egypt Ullinois)
So. having many friends with the same
tastes, he smokes 'em most of the time.
Uncle Pleas has mild and innocent
countenance and genial smile. and when
he strolls up to friend. unbuttons that
friends coat. slides a seductive. searching
finger into the nigh cigar pocket and ex-
tracts a perfecto, the human cigar case
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

Thank YOU" replied Mr.. Chapman. try
ing with poor success to scare up
smile. IF it's all the same to you. l Will
not. l bought box of stogies this MORN
~ sight safer"
And Uncle Pleasant. with an involun-
tary. uncomfortable shudder. turned on
his heel and walked away. They do say
as how he is plumb cured.
X y X X X
One day last week I blew down to the
room Of the House committee on post
offices and post roads to ask Jesse Over
street. its chairman. a foolish question or
two. and outside the door l met thin.
elderly person standing stock still. hands
in pockets. swearing with fluency and dis
tinction. If 1t had been case of just
ordinary "cussing' I wouldn't have paid
any attention. for the Capitol-both ends
Is usually sulphurous and overheasd But
the elderly persons comprehensive grasp
Of his subject. his apparently profound
acquaintance with the ornate objurgations
Of all ages and his melancholy sincerity
and devotion TO his task impressed me
nightly.
''Prithee. good SIR" said I. or words to
that effect. why this profaneness-wny
fundamentally this literature from the
pit?"
And after the thin. elderly person had
discoursed for some moments more.
rounding out to logically spangled ell
max. he fixed me with a baleful eye.
Have you been in that room! ne
asked NO? Well. 60 inside and you II
see what I'm SO mad about. I'm tele-
graph operator. but won't be one long.
I'm going to learn to lay brick or drive
a hack" And he blew away. resumine as
he went the interrupted thread OF MS cor
dite converse ton.
When l went inside inquired II there
was any reason why thin telegraph OPP
orator with a wonderful command OF Ian.
guage should stand outside the door and
cuss. and they showed me the teiepost'
which has been on exhibition at the Cap
itol for a couple of weeks And then !
understood. For the telepost sends stun
over the wire at the cheerful rate. OF one
thousand words a minute, and never gets
tired. The apparatus is operated by per-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

the Treasury building with his naked
hands and energies. barking joyfully, with
a dark green appropriation for his district
clutched to his palpitating and patriotic
bosom.
For instance again: Just suspect that
another equally high-browed and exacting
constituency suspects Its only-onliest in
the House of being too burned friendly
with the handy hrelings Of predatory
wealth. Does that member. when he be-
comes cognizant Of the same. stick out
neat red tongue at said constituency. and
tell EN- to take a long. running jump?
Not he! Instead. he secures three hours
time during general debate on some old
bill or other and. clothed in refrigerated
statistics and secondhand eloquence. pro-
ceeds to skin a live trust and show up the
vicious propensities of the criminal rich.
For instance once more: Just supposing
that a member. hailing from the happy,
happy home Of a fat and waddling, tariff
protected. Industrial infant is suspected
OF entertaining traitorous revision lean
ings. Does that member. when he gets
wise to the knock, leap to his feet and
make a Websterian effort. admitting the
corn and justifying the kernel? Nay nay.
neigh. Instead he rises solemnly on his
hind legs. paws the air like a semi-as-
struct the tariff wall to such a height as
to make the tower of Babel look like
worm fence.
All me! Were It not for this suspicion
lnlnS. lot the necessity OI orally ueIIOH-
strating at irregular but frequent inter-
walls that what they say amt so.' I
can't imag CINE what would become Of Con-
gress and of congressman.
OF course. / quite agree with Mr.. Will
liams-and I'm sure he will sign with re-
lief when he reads this-that 1t doesn't
elevate the tone of the national legislature
to have the impression go out. and on the
authority of a member at that. that there
are bargain days in votes and that any
old kind of loot bill can be pushed
through II only the pusher has a patent
disposition and roll of the real big
enough to choke a drain pipe
But susotcion-most of the other fifty
seven varieties-is a tonic and tangible
asset Of congressional life. It keeps the
tried and chosen on their tiptoes.
X X X X
1t wouldn't be just right to identify
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

forated tapes prepared either by an ordf-
nary Morse key or a machine having a
typewriter keyboard. and the tapes are
fed over the wire. through the transmitter.
at the outrageous speed mentioned.
Just think of Il. A full page of news
paper copy can be transmitted in seven
minutes. 1t seems impossible. absolutely.
but the thing Is working. not talking
and the evidence Of the eyes is n rather
nifty thing in the way of proof. Then
they told me what had started the thin
telegraph operator on his swearfest.
He had blown into the committee room.
announced that he was from Missouri and
asked to be shown.
i've helped exhibit these tape machines
BEFORE said he '.and by the time you
make the records and feed EN- over the
wire you've used up about twice as much
time as a good man would take in send
ing the same stuff"
So they sat him down In front OF
typewriter and told him to write what
he wanted to send over the wire. Where
upon he laughed a sneery laugh.
Il write II out and then you punch Il
on the tape and then you send it. oh.
shucks."
But he beat out about a thousand
words. and when he finished and sat
copy and tape it they just took the copy
itself. fed it into the machine. and
ps-s-st-and 1t was all over.
IT'S sent" said the man in charge Of
the machine.
And then and there began the orgy OF
profanity that lasted until l blew down
twentyeight minutes later. and that. for
all l know. may still be going on.
The exhibit in the Capitol was brought
about by members who favor the gov
eminent ownership of telegraphs. and
who say that with the telepost the gov
eminent could duplicate the Western
Unions system for about $15.OoO.O1 or
course. 1t will be warm. balmy day in
January when the government ownership
stunt is pulled off. but. at that. the ex-
hibit is interesting and the company.
with capital of $lS.0f0.OO0 is preparing
to establish new telegraph system to
compete with the established companies.
The rate that 1t is proposed to charge
should be attractive to the citizen with
unlined pockets-twenty-fi words for 25
cents-the devil take the distance.
IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

We're not denying, we stated at the
outset, that we're human-intensely hu-
man.
You ought to hear us converse now
on the subject of the relationship of au-
tomobiles to the public Of the District
of Columbia.
There never was such a pack Of blind.
thick headed. lazy pinheads of pedestrians
on the civilized globe as those who walk
the streets of Washington Is the way
we express the matter now.
"They won't get out of the way of mo-
tor cars They don't own machines them
selves. consequently they hate with
vitriolic hatred, everybody that does own
a car. ,
Its a near, onery, contemplate kind
of envy and jealousy on the part of peo-
pie who don't own motor cars them
selves. this thing is.
They glare at the owners of automo-
biles as if the latter were public enemies.
and I have even seen some of them SO
plunged in vicious envy that they would
actually shake their fists at passing au-
tomobiles and their drivers.
"They have so little appreciation of
this the greatest invention of all ages.
that they actually sniff and turn up their
noses when they see man or woman in
motoring attire.
And. absolutely, they don't know how
TO walk There ought to be a night
school in the District of Columbia to
teach this clumsy population how to cross
a street.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

you're real refined. like some Of us-how
you do blast the elbowing. toe-grinding.
blatant malodorous crowds! How you ID
swear. blastfully. Never again. never
again. never again. just like that.
We'd never go to Coney Island. you
know-anyhow, We say SO. bromidically--
only from the fact that folks from else
where come drifting along TO New York.
and they've never seen Luna Park and
Dreamland. and. of course. they've got
to be taken down there. and we are noted
far and wide for our hospitality and
thngs-and SO we just have to go to
Coney
Always it is mad. sad. but not clad
experience. Always We vow and YUM
as were pushed and propelled and pro-
)ected hither and yon and all over the
place by the stewing and stewed mob,
that it'll be never again for us, nope-ee!
But. somehow, every year. once or
twice. We go down there. Coney Is a
kind of dope habit. Maybe. II the truth
were known. we're always Just teenchy
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30
I'D


had received the pups
OF course, they broke off suddenly ana
elared at each other when they found.
upon taking breath. that their stories were
identical Then the pair of brother dogs.
as if to widen the breach. began to eat
each other up on the sidewalk: They
were finally pried apart, and then the
Young women went into their respective
houses. carving their respective pups.
and each mumbling things that sounded
like: well just wait till set eyes on
him. that's ALL
The clippish young male took advantage
Of a very dark night last week to SINK
up to the door of Only Girl No. ], and IL
was when he emerged about half an hour
later that he stood on the corner. per-
hitting the starlight TO soak through ms
skull. and exuded the observation with
which this veracious chronicle begins.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

way Of which was thusly:
A couple Of months ago. upon arriving
home. the clippish one found that he was
just two nice, cute little Boston terriers
to the good. They had only arrived that
afternoon. and the mother seemed to be
greatly pleased and inflated over it.
.'Oho. One for each" unused the clip.
and he took nothing but pains with the
pups until the time should arrive when
it would be possible for them to be re-
moved from their mother ard distributed.
That time arrived about fortnight ago.
Tying a piece of narrow pink ribbon
around one Of the pups necks-they were
enough alike to be twins. which they
were. weren't they?-and making pretty
bow thereof, he started for the abode OF
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30
this incident too accurately. So Just
Iat,e that n might have hannenad

this incident too accurately. So Just
let's say that 1t might have happened
this session or last session or the session
before. That's near enough. Anyhow.
a certain subcommittee of the District
committee of-never mind. 1t might have
been the Senate and it might have been
the House-rece1ved letter from the DIS
trict Commissioners with request for
an appropriation of $4,000 for something
or other to be included In the District
Of Columbia appropriation bill OF that
year. The subcommittee was engaged
in considering the bill at the time. and
the letter was placed before them.
"Preposterous, said member number
one
Impossible" cried member number
"Idiotic.' muttered number three.
ridiculous" said number four.
Gentlemen" said the chairman. 4
neglected to mention that. IN case
the subcommittee does not understand
Mr. Mcfarland, president Of the board
Of District Commissioners. requests that
he be heard at some length upon its mer-
its. What say you?"
ION second thought" replied member
number one, in haste. 81 should suggest
the inclusion in the bill Of the desired
appropriation
"Suits me- said number two.
Same here" said number three.
And the item OF $4,000 was inserted
in the appropriation bill. where it re-
manned until amputated. neatly and final
ly. in conference.
Which is all in the way Of piling up
proof that Mr.. Henry B. F. Mcfarland
Is an extraordinarily convincing talker.
even when he doesn't open his mouth.
X X X
Representative Walter Brownlow Of
Tennessee has prepared a reply to the
reflections upon Andrew Johnson one-time
President of the United States. embodied
in the "reminiscences Of Senator Stewart
of Nevada which have just been pub
lished in book form. Mr.. Brownlow rep
resents in the House the old district OF
Andy johnson. and. being Tennessee
an and more than ordinarily patriotic. Is
nightly interested in protecting the name
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

paper. Getting nervous, as usual with
you at this time of the year. to clear ship
for action. are your
We'll. we're on the verge Of the warm
weather. YOU know Mrs Jobson began
to explain.
Maybe we are and maybe we're not"
cut in Mr.. Jobson. But. even II We are
is that any good reason why you should
set to work and turn this home into an
Imitation Of the interior OF a barn."
But" Mrs. Jobson began again. don't
We always make ready for the warm
weather by taking down the stuffy lace
curtains and pulling up the carpets and
covering over the furniture and"
There you go!' broke in Mr.. Jobson.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

talked baby talk to the pup for a bit
We'll have lots of room in the backyard
of the house that we're going to move
to- so that this little love will have plenty
of space to play around in
By the way" inquired the clip. where
are you going to move toy
She told him. He felt some worried.
naturally. for the move was to be to the
vacant house right next door to that oc-
cupied by the folks of Only Girl No.
and the girl herself.
He mopped his brow in a tumult of
thinks. and then. wrapped in gloom. he
took his departure.
He had In his minds eye picture Of
the situation when the inevitable ex-
posture came. 1t was a sad, sad hour.
He was sorry he had been so imaginative
with respect to the pups
Things broke just as he had antic-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

languishing eyes at Only Girl No. l. who
was so overjoyed over her canine present
that she gave him some of those languish-
es right back, SO she did.
On the following evening the clip tied
bow of pink ribbon around the neck Of
the other pup. Then he started for the
domicile of Only Girl No 2. who lived
way at the other end of town from Only
Girl No. 1. Only Girl No. also had ex-
pressed herself as being in a pining con-
dition for the lack Of a Boston terrier
pup.
well" he said to Only Girl No. 3 Il
guess maybe haven't found you etc.
etc-read again just what he said to Only
Girl No l and you'll have it.
Only Girl No. 2 was pleased almost fool
ish.
And Tn so glad we're going to move
tomorrow, too' she said after she'd
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30
PUPS AND AMANY G1RLED LOTHARIO- @-1-@z&E@7

same breath how and from whom they
fpated On the very next evening Only
Girl No. / sat on the front steps OF her
domicile. with her pink-beribboned pup
alongside Of her.
shortly afterward Only Girl No. 2,
whose folks had moved into the vacant
house next door that day. also made her
appearance on the front steps with her
pink beribboned pup alongside OF her.
The two young women stared at each
others dogs across the yards and stared
quite a heap at each other. too.
A little while later they both moved 10
their respective front gates. accompanied
by their respective pups. which slid out OF
the gate and fraternized.
Then the two young women began con-
yersing with each other about the marvel
Gus resemblance between the pups Ihen
they began to tell each other IN about the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

opinion that automobiles and reckless
chauneurs were bound to be the ruin Of
the Capital city of the nation.
We made lot of noise on this topic
We were the busiest little noise-maker OF
the entire Ag'in Automobiles Association.
We paved the ground like bull moose
at horn-shedding time every time we
veered around to the subject Of automo-
biles and reckless chauffeurs.
We got all checked and cluttered and
phlegmy around the neck on each and
every occasion that we adverted to the
matter.
Life" we beloved. hoarsely-'Lfe.
human life, is no longer safe on the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

EOPLE that live
in glass houses
gather no moss.
and therefore I
guess Ill just cut
out ond eliminate
t h is Machiaveit
stuff from this
point on was the
observation which
a clippish young
w a S h / n & tonian
delivered unto him.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

DON be time to
take down the lace
curtains and take
up the carpets"
observed Mrs. JOB
son-only to make
a little after-dinner
conversation - one
evening about threa
weeks ago.
"Oh, 1t will. Ell -
said Mr.. Jobson,
tossing down his
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

ONEY Island Is IN
full blast for the
season Of 'Oe. Blast
Is the word. There
isn't, there couldn t
be, any blastier
place than Coney.
III addition, getting
there. and getting
back from there. Is
such a blasted
bother. And while
you're there u
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

self the other evening as he stood on q
corner. letting the starlight soak through
his skull. Immediately after having been
caught in net of his own devising. The
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

II, W ell, W e. r e
all pretty human.
That's about the
size and heft Of 1t.
Up to q very
short time ago, you
should have heard
us roar around
about the outrage
BUSINESS Of auto
mobiles and chauf-
teurs.
We were Of thu
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30
Ohm Sharp Will
liamS OF MfssiSSip-


pi. the House mi
nority leader. struck
a plaintive minor
chord on the con-
gressional Tyre the
other day during
a brief but impa s.
stoned throw him
out" speech. follow
ing the reading 1T
the Boutel! special
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-30

NEW YORK, May %, 1908.
~ Tho Star
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1908-04-17
CONGRESS MAY QUIT MAY 8.
Repre- Sc NATIVE Watson Of Indiana Pro-
diets Early Adjournment.

Washin gton.-That the present SEES.
sion of congress will adjourn on or
about Saturday, May 9, was the pre-
diction Sunday night of Representative
James E. Watson of Indiana. Repub-
lican whip" Of the house. Mr.. Wat
son bases this prediction upon informa-
ton he has gathered as the result OF a
careful survey Of the situation In the
two houses of congress.
During the past few days Mr.. Wat
son has conferred with the leaders at
both ends of the capitol in regard to
adjournment, and all Of them are anx-
ious for an early date. He thinks there
is ample time between now and May
9 for the completion of the legislative
program. The principal measures in
the house which remain to be disposed
of are the naval appropriation bill. the
sundry civil appropriation bill, the Dip
lomatic and consular apprt. ration
bill, the military academy bill and the
Aldrich currency measure.
Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1908-04-17
U. S. MONEY FOR CHINA.
Important international Financial
Neootiations


Picking, April ia plan for the
possible enlistment of American CAPT
tai in Manchuria was disclosed in
Picking yesterday by the premature
publication of a rescript issued a
month ago by which the throne
grants Mang shao vi, the governor
of Mukden province, authority to
grant a maximum loan of 100000
taels for the purpose of financing the
administration of Manchuria.
This proposal is understood here
to be an attempt to negotiate that
portion of the boxer indemnity which
the United States government has
proposed to cancel; 1t will also ally
the power and influence of the Unit
ed States for the conservation Of
Manchuria to China. The plan in
question embraces the participation
of the powers which are partial
creditors of China, such as Great
Britain, France, Germany and Japan
to enforce the terms Of the Ports
mouth treaty, to provide for the con.
struction of railroads, and to safe
guard Mongolia, which already Is
the scene of a contest between the
influence of Russia and that of Japan.