The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-05-20
GOWNS WORN A.. TIGHT AS EVER
DESPITE ALL MODERN TALK
TO THE CONTRARY.

Whenever hear my sex accused Of
tight lacing ] grow very. very angry in
deed. and ~ hastily 10 the rescue.
Tight lacing. I assure all those who
viii listen TO me. went out with ths
dark ages Women, ] Insist, think too
much Of their own comfort now 20 wear
clothes that ere too tight; also. no one
but maniac would consent to make
dents In her attached ribs and anchor
her floating ones by wearing an instru-
ment OF torture too close fitting every
where
BY the time have worked myself up
into fine frenzy Of emotion and have
persuaded myself that the only real
sensible sex in the world IS the feminine
one. I discover that my audience has
melted away and that / am talking to
myself.
So much fo- theory. The practice may
be illustrated rs follows:
After long and painful argument
about tight lactng the other evening 1
went 70 the house OF a friend with
whom hat sn engagement 10 go out,
and being on intimate terms with the
family WAS SHOWN at once into the IL
brary. which acJOins the sleeping cham
Der OF the mistress Of the mansion.
From that apartment there emanated
sounds which seemed far from amlcable
A man s voice demanded to know how
anyone with sense could expect him TO
perform some feat. and ended In a wall
voice made answer with moro or less
aspertty. and the argument began
afresh.
The wOnnan's voics was the voice II
my friend the masculine that Of her
husband. and so I scented trouble. and
going to the door asked II could help.
Lacerated Fingers.
Come in" cried the husband OF my
friend. in relieved tones. Praise hea-sn
you have arrived. Now, perhaps, I can
complete by own toilet and do some
thing to alleviate the pain am suffer
ing from torn and lacerated fingers
When 1 entered I found him with col
lar waited, shirt front rumpled, and hair
t0uTled. defects which he went on 20 his
own lair Immediately TO remedy. Nv
friepd l discovered gowned ia a very
attractive evening frOCk Of black Her
hair was beautifully arranged. and she
presented a calm and unmoyed front to
the world. but down the back her gown
was sun unfastened, and 1 saw at once
what my fate was TO be
VIII you. dear2" she asked coaNinRly.
1t ~ really quite easy. for you know
wear my gowns very loose Anyone but
man would have had the thing done
long ago"
took on my gloves with a sigh Of
acouiescence. and prepared 10 bend my
energies 10 the task.
Ny friend came and stood before me,
ana l tried 20 make those fastcnings
meet. but there was a yaWning abyss
between them that 1t seemed could never
be bridged-
Require Strong Pull.
Il can't get you into this" I cried
family, after ten minutes Of EFFORT.
20 yes you can't said my friend en-
couragingly. Il have worn II once be-
fore this, and Aggie put me into Il then.
AgEie has good. stout fingers. though
You seem 70 be a little weak in the I'm
turn more toward the light and I will
mold N my breath and pinch my waist
IN with both hands. s=d when 7 say
Now, you pull
She said Now and I pulled and sue
ceeded in fastening one hook II was a
warm evening and I could feel the pow
der disappearing from my nose. Also
had disaTranged one pun
Good cried my friend. her breath
coming little short THAT was well
done. You may be as expert as Aggie #
this keeps on. Now, again"
And again my friend held her breath
and pinChed in her waist and again I
gave a mighty pull That time two
hooks slipped into their respective eyes
Gasping for Breath.
was leaning against the bureau gasp
Ing for breath after this EFFORT. when
back into the room came my friends
husband. isn't that ridiculous gown
finished yeU7'' he grOWled-
Almost" said my friend, cheerfuIly.