Evening journal., 1908-06-16
Personal and Pertinent


In my chool-days." a story teller who was try
ing illustrate the absurdity futlity
fears eve lecture every Friday
One day the lecturer was geoogst and chose Niagara
Falls for his topic.
e told us about the geological formation Of the falls
and described the different periods TO be traced in the
wearing back toward Buffalo and that in the course OF
two hundred thousand years they would
back to Erie Pa and that town would be left high and
dry.
Suddenly of the girls in my class began to sob
What is the matterr asked the teacher, in alarm
oh. walled the girl, my sister lives in Eriel"-
Youths Companion.
American travellers in Europe find great deal Of
trouble with omnipresent need Of tipping those from
whom they expect any service. however slight They
very apt to carry It much too far, else attempt
sst IL sltogether There is a story told OF a wealthy
Dpt ostentatious American In Partisan restaurant
AS the waiter placed the order before him, he said
loud voice. Waiter, what is the largest tip that you
receved?'
zone thousand francs monsieur"
"I:h blen! But l will give you 20O0" answered the
upnoder Of American honor, and then in a
added;
May who gave you the 1000 francs9"
1T was yourself monsieur" said the obsequous
American visiting London for the FIRST time Goaded
desperation by the necessity tips he finally
entered the washroom of his hotel only to be faced
with large sign which read:
Please tip tho basin after using"
No snid the Yankee turning on his heel II will 60
dirty hrsti"-Youths Companion
house OF commons last session Two Of the most
spectacle members OF the house seen with their
them.
The had been downstairs to wash their hands and
by some nischance had changed coats They went into
the house together one Of them putting his hand
his coat pocket pulled out old brar pipe Of very
strong flavor II was not his. He looked the coat
also that OF his neighbor and turning friend said
Excuse me- but think you have put my coat"
beg your pardon; have done nothing Of the kind"
Il think replied the other parliamentarian this il
your pipe ana II you put your hand into the right hand
case" Ns''
Dear me-" the reply. you certainly are right
we cannot change in the house." observed the frs.
member Let us go into the division lobby"
liefe is where the policeman in. Seeing the two
facing one another and the same time taking or
their coats the policeman feared worst He rushed
up and placing hand tho shoulder Of each said
Gentlemenl Gentlemen Not here. pleasel"-M A. p.
Cen F. D. Grant at recent dinner. said of slow
railway in the South:
The line that the people took to lampoon
ing Il IN the press Thus one Decoration Day planter
wrote TO the Rapier the leading paper his district
The Editor Of the Raper-Sr: S there no way TO
For instance. yesterday aged veteran with wooden
leg kept pace with the afternoon express all the way
from Faint Rock TO Nola Chucky and annoyed the mas
sengers exceedingly, going from one open window 40
another with his importunate solicitations vox Popu"
Washington Star.
very sensible bit Of advice expressed in homey Ian
suage was given by not long ago to an excitabe
end duarresome friend. II a brick yard and two
OF the worsmen had engaged in dispute which culmi-
In the skirmish of the combatants was cut on
the mead and the employer who happened come on the
scene OF action when the fight was finishing ana who
was man or more temper than discretion advised the
injured one 10 get warrant for the others arrest
Nhiie the matter was being discussed by a number
OF worknen who had gathered around big brv fellow
VINO mad heard everything and whole affair made
MS way to the man with the damaged Uranium and said
You don't want 10 get warrant Bill You lust 90
70 the drug store and get yersef pieces PLASTER
good big ones-and put one piece yer head and the
other on yer mouth, an you'll be all rght"-Philadepha
Ledger.
distinguished looking man was about 10 enter the
gate leading TO the south OF the White House
Easter MONDAY 10 witness the gay attending the
ehhorens fete, known egg rolling" when he was
matted ey a small colored boy with the remark:
Mister, you can't go in without chile I'll be yo'
chile 10 nieke-"-Judge
There lives in Atchson a man who works so hard that
ne never has tine TO brush his clothes and as result
ne Is one Of the slouchiest looking men we know He
uoes not take enough time 10 sleep and as a
result MS health is poor. these davs no viii
I.e young and 1t viii be said in future by oafers
uat me hardest working they ever knew did NOT
succeed or he was not successful. The trouble with
SIM seems to be that he lacks system and order ana
tries 10 90 more than three his acouaint-
ance lie succeeds in this but he not succeed in
business No man can do good work although he NAV
90 great deal OF IT, who does take enough time
~ 70 seeP anu eat II you work very hard, and not
succeed very well, ought look your affairs over
ana see II therc is loose in your affairs some
Where q man who works very hard docs NOT suc-
Globe 1A'0nison
he-scraggs seems very happy for a man lust return
cd from the burial OF his fes dearest friends
She-Jndeedy was I