The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-21
DR EFT " OOD BY PkrL M. ARMSTRONG.

sg sd. It isn't then so much
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 From getting % sx cn the shelf The Poet laughed. 'It takes too much A wild report has just come out of New Jersey that at recent church supper held covered in the soup. Such exaggerated sto. ries are apt to cause panic and until ticity we refrain from soins into details. The rPesidsnt says that no bridge or dam right should be given away-dam right
 What is 1t Starts off small like this And then doth branch out flatf What is it, surely you must know
 the Msrry-widow Hat. Earthquake shocks were felt in Utah last week. Bet it vas the hard jolt Mont- gomery gave that Birmingham baseball team.
 The mayor of q little Ohio town carved a woman out of wood and worships her. And he can continue to do so as long as she doesn't require new spring clothes.  Honestly. when the House gets through with the Aldrich bill its onw father won't know 1t.
 Beauty is only skin game deep. Not long now until the sweet-siri grad essay that an ignorant and trenblins world awaits to hear.
 With Nellie and Anna safely. on the way across the pond let now get down to bus mess.
 A widow. arrested in New York the other day proved to be crazy. Possibly the thought that she was 90 many miles from Houston brought about the affiietion' A gun has been invented that shoots three hundred miles We hope Castro sees this.
 Mrs Frederick Hall of Wanda. Ill. who of an explosion. suddenly recovered the pow CT of speech in severe coughing It, Anyway that man had three months of rest.
 mans hair turns gray five years sooner than . woman's But just remember that wo- mans hair has an unexpected propensity for adapting itself to circunstances' Hairpins were first made in 1885 Up till that date what wotnen did. we are not pre-. pared to state.
 Among the Hottentots women hold bet Ire position than they do snywhsrs 1.Irs. slss . in prerne mistress. s.-Exchange: HulIy .gee-den't she reign supreme eve rywhere? You must be single man A man will get off to go to bali game who wouldn't lose the time for any other purpose. -t .Ts In striking a match to see how to find $500 fire fire we don't know where 1t. happen ed, but one thing certain--it wasn't in Chi sSss. in shs ss. wSEa srs and wdaSnt Ssvs quired the assistance of match We have been informed that good rhi- noceros. costs 5000. Any of our readers de- string one will please communicate with us. MontgomeryP our wholesale lifs-presery- ins stations are saving lives there dai-~ iy.
 During the last ten years the harness wearing animals have increased by more more the married men. f If Phil Armstrong and that bunch of Fencil pushers on the staff of the esteemed Mont gomery Advertiser would just take day or two off and pay us q visit and see Merry nHw ~Si Widow. @ that new style head apparel would receive fewer jabs from Grandma.- The Thomasville Echo.
 
 A sword swallower" swallowed a real sword by mistake recently and ts now all cut-up over 1t.
 
 Now, here's what we have been afraid would happen. Some brown-eyed brunette, desirinK to humble us to the dust. has just handed us the following big lemon. in our mail and we append 1t without altera" tior or hope for the future;
 Here's to Driftwood.
 You're boosting up the blondes
 To e happy degree.
 But the many peroxide colors,
 If you could only see.
 The poor brunette is honest
 Her colors never fade
 They are original always
 And never change their shade, But if these kind you admire
 It's not a fault of mine
 Although there are many colors
 And many. many kinds