Evening journal., 1908-08-20
BY THE WAYSIDE


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A well known local plumber was
riding along the Newport turnpike a
few days ago and found an envelope
in the road that looked fat enough to
contain several greenbacks of reason
able denomination. and he picked it up.
When he got back TO the shop and
opened It he found six very much alive
reaches and two pennies
What the pennies were doing with
the reaches puzzled the plumber till
he consulted a friend He was told
that people who have their houses
overrun with reaches capture a few,
put them In an envelope with two PEN
nies and then cast the envelope away.
The pennies are TO pay the reaches
way to a new climate and the plumber
now fears that the climate selected is
in his shop.
While a group of married men were
talking on a street corner about dis
liking very much TO go home when
having done something to offend their
wives, one of the number gave what
he said Is a good method to determine
whether the better half is in pleasant
or angry mood.
His idea is as follows: when you
are In doubt as to what kind of q re-
eeption you Will receive from your wife
upon coming home, take off your hat
when arriving at the house and throw
II in through an open transom or win
dow and if the tile remains in the
room into which it was thrown, the
frou is in a good humor and it is per-
fectly safe to enter as she will re-
ceive you in a smiling manner, but If
the hat comes sailing out Of the tran
som or window, il is a sure sign that
she is in a lighting mood and the best
thing to do then is to beat a retreat
to some nearby store or other place
and remain until you think she has
had time TO cool down, and will not
receive you with a broom, poker or
other dangerous weapon"
"A small kid up our way" said a
man at the barbar shop, taught me
new one the other day. Every time
he has heard a pear drop from our
tree he has bobbed his head up over
our fence and asked some of my fam
lily If there happened to be any of
them in the yard OF kitchen, for the
pear The pears are Winter ones and
won't be ripe for a long time to come
and l wondered what he wanted with
them. It is too soon to lay them
away to ripen.
Il was out in the yard the other
day when a pear dropped and the
youngster was up on the fence in a
second and asked me for the pear. /
gave it to him and asked him what
he did with all the green pears.
Say remarked the kid. didn't
you never eat no stewed pears. Nom
she stews 'em and puts sugar and Gin
namon and stuff on them and they're
great. Why don't you try ft?'
well. I got my wife to try 1t. all
right, and it made good eating, but
the poor kid has looked downcast
every time I've seen him since"
The newspaper man was rummaging
through the desk in his library the
other night and found some boy-tim
lcopybooks among the treasures there.
Among the composition was this one
on dogs:
"One. time there was a feller bot a
dog of a man in the market and the
dog II was a bitter After it had bit
the feller four or five time he threw a
closline over its neck and led it back
to the dog man in the market. and he
said to the dog man, the feller did ole
man, diden't you use TO have this dog =?
The dog man he luked at the dog, and
then he thot awhile and then he said
Well, yes, had home about haf the
time and the other hat he had me.
Then the feller he was fewrious mad
and he said. What did you sell me
such dog as this forg And the ole
man he spoke up and sed. For -four
dollars and seventy cents. lofie
money Then the feller he guessed he
wude go home if the dog was willing
did you ever notice how many peo-
pie walk on the paved streets instead
Of on the sidewalks?" inquired a man
Of no one In particular. Il don't refer
TO pedestrians through alleys or by
streets. but on main thoroughfares
like Market street and Delaware ave-
nue.. This is especially true after dark;
I don't suppose many persons walk in
the streets during the day. At night
however the smoother pavement and
the better light make the streets Inn
mensely superior to the sidewalks for
walking purposes"
i've learned one thing this Sum
mer," confided the amateur gardener
across the cigar store counter TO the
helpless clerk; its a bad thing tC
cut off the tips Of wild cucumber
vines
you see. we've got a screen of wild
cucumber vines at our back porch Out
home, and by the time the vines reach
ed to the floor Of the balcony my wife
and I decided to cut OF the tips 50
that the vines would spread out in.
stead OF going upward.
"The result was all that was desir.
ed, at first The vine spread in grea
shape. After couple Of weeks, how.
ever, the leaves on the stalks which
had been topped began to wither. Th'
stems aren't dead but we got severa
strings of withered leaves running III
and down the trellis."
The following story is the outcome Of
the recent shooting up" Of Salem, N
j.. by artillerymen at Fort dupont;
Two colored men had quarrelled neal
Salem on the day Of the shooting. and
they had barely come to blows. At last
they had parted. One had disappeared
behind a thicket and the other was sew.
eral minutes walk away. Suddenly the
great 800 pound shell from the big eight