Gunnison news-champion., 1908-10-16

snow n'ckers Soy, how's de brakes down dat
way De last time an de Honyak wuz dere
de cssnnie elevated US from the inside of a empty
inter cactus garden. -four hundred and eighty
miles from grub. We walks de ties fer tree weeks
Den we hits Albuquerque an | near had tuh beat
carpet tub git grub. DE ole gurrui would NV
had me woikin' only she erubs foist betoar she
brings out de woik tools. Den | digs"
"Ilsres nuttin' like dat. dere, desc days. Dey
leaves de pies an eats in de OPIUM an de bo
wot cant freeze to meal an hour don't git no
soft ~oids from dis lulu
That animated. brilliant and engrossing roper,
tore Was only one of several thousand of the same
variety, which comprised hobo "reminiscences told
by members OF the great army of the unwashed
which assembled in convention not many months
ago at CLIFFORD, ILL.,, for the National Hobo
union.
Small tramps. fat tramps. tall tramps short
tramps, redheaded ones, blondes, colored tramps
low-down tramps. tramps with high personal re
gard for their vocations, and oherG who
sneaky and might be caught working were it not
for the watchfulness of their brothers, all assem-
bled In solemn conclave to worship their goddess
Rest.
These of rest-but they were not all sons
there several daughters of rest-all paid their
respects to the for which they are Sighting
their own tactless way. They. the nine
teenth time, swore loyalty the associations mot
10: Work, washing and worry weapons of the
devil and he who would knowingly or Intentionally
invite the descent of his platonic majesty in that
manner he II is who is true Son of Rest"
Sbothiul Sam. President Weary Willie Ragged
Rufus, Tattered Tom. Reekng Reginald Dnky
Dan. the best dressed "bo" in the association;
Handout Hank Preface Peter Looping Louie Walk
ing walter Prayed Francis Mrthfu Mike TnCan
Teddy. and all the rest of the influential brethren
of the Fraternal Order of the Unwashed were
there.
The attendance was large usual There
missing. of course Roll call revealed
the fact that Secretary Signing sinkers
avoadably detained by friends among the authori-
n the Desplaines police station in Chi
caeO He was booked a "vag" much to the un-
washed chagrin of President Weary Willie who in
the course of his opening address remarked that
II was De woist coise dat put fort on dis
susietie. tub tink dat de most necessary
possons of de order should be cumpeled tub miss
dis intellergen meetin.
An the old officers OF the association were re
elected the minutes of the meeting inscribed
upon the brain of President Weary Willie until Sec
retaty Snkers should be released from his sojourn
n Chicago The members of the association the
most easily satisfied crowd earth then ad
lowr1ed. This action consisted of the chief execu
dropping into sound sleep Others did the
The following day the annual games of the or
xanizaton were given. There were several limo
ratons hitherto not introduced. The long distance
snooGing contest drew out several hundred entries
and it required three days before the judges were
able to render a decision. Wakefu Waires was
retmnea victor eventually. but up to the time of
writing he still snoozng noisily utterly ignor-
ant OF the honor which his happy faculty had
thr1Et upon him.
The handsonest hobo contest captured by
Dinky Dan who in little address the slumber-
ing contestants in the longdistance sleeping con
test declared that in the absence of prize. the
honor alone gave him plenty of satisfaction.