Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-20

book prices. domestic and foreign
WHO'S Who's" antholoeies of minor
poets, compendinms OF classic lore.
the Almanach dc Goiha. indexes OF
newspapers. atlaSes coin catalogues
and almanacs sat the modern incar-
nation OF Solomon. the editor who an.
swers correspondents questions says
the New York Tribune.
! at is true | live an awful strain
said he. pushing his double magnify
ing glasses over bullying tTows. comb.
ing his long beard with tina fingers
of his right hand. and with the other
hand signalling the Office boy To take
away Il bushel basket of letters.
; "Sacre bleul Donnerwettcr! am
supposed to know mora than any man
alive Push the button into me and
answer. am polyglot lingulst. I
+. have the secrets of state. am n
mathematician, farmer. chMopo-
dat. doctor. an artist. u thoologIan
| Please ask me something! II makes
me nervous not 10 be asked questions
After twenty years practice have
the habit OF answering. There ls no
| fool question that can't tackle. Just
ask me why negroes are black. What
Tor do Chicago women have big feet?
| (Because they don'tD why are Won
hungry when you want to eat? Couli
water run mp. Hill If 1t started back.
ward?
! Say Kansas farmer wrote To mo
thai he noticed flies perching on the
pages of a book that he was reading
and he asked. Can flies read?' RI.
Piled. They can't read. hut they can
! pnnctnatc letters. Yes. that was a
1 pretty fair answer. think. How to
be successful In life worries some of
my correspondents. AMI they expect
! TO gain the secret for 2-ccnt stamp
There are women who won't risk
stamp In advance when they ask for n
personal reply. They say. III yon will
send answer | will forward stamp |
am touched by their beautiful spirit OF
/ economy and suspicion. Although |
am n grandfather, some women ask
me to teach them how to flIrt. They
WISH, al least, n correspondence course
J IN Irritation, How to become beauti.
lul is a regulation query, which | en-
giheer and have your face changed,'
but | refrain.
J When am asked What kind or a
woman attracts n man? ! fain would
reply. Almost any kind under eighty
years OF age But these are serious
/. questions and they must he answered
! accordingly under the penalty OF Of
Tending subscriber SO endeayor
TO make bona fide reply even when
asked how 10 read the minds of 9th
ers and how To get power over otherl
1 InOnSlnHg To
others sometimes feel like recon-
mending these power seekers TO start
n trust or invest in sluneshot or
get a job as chauffeur. If you knock
I a man down and sit on his chest you
nave lair degree of power over him.
My papa reads your paper. Please.
MIR. Editor. do this sum In arithmetic
for me-. writes a bright lad who plays
nooky instead of studying his lesson.
Many school children expect me 20
work out their problems. A friend
or distant relative OF the writer sub.
scribes for the paper. 80 the applI :
| cant thinks he is entitled to have his
| questions answered. 1t is n common
thing for woman getting up a club
picture to ask the editor 10 siinplv all
the facts and most Of the laneua ge
She conceals her purpose, or tries 10.
but the experienced editor knows.
! There are people too lazy TO lool, nm
definition in Webster: they expect
TO save time and money by writing to
me. Lately was asked TO give n
history of all ancient peoples. BABY.
lonian. Assyrian, etc., which could
nave done In about twenty Ave vol.
hmes. after spending the rest OF nv
life on the job. A man in Berlin or
Tokio often asks about some special
facts. and | refer him to the noted
authority who lives in the inuuirar's
home city. Thus knowledge Is spurn.
ed at the doorstep and sought in a
| circuit of the globe.
! ut Is natural that shouId act Tho
part OF the family doctor and advise
what 10 40 when Johnny has the croup
and mother the rheumatism and ma
suifers from lumbage. Only | ref,
10 incur the penalties of practising
medicine without license and tho
meanness OF taking bread out OF hard
working medicos' mouths. What 10
good for beadache?' Can Won tell mo
now TO cure cancer?' If / could ia
patent 1t and become a millionaire.
NY correspondents likewise try to de
prive the lawyer OF his fees ty pro-
pounding to me intricate legal olies-
IONS that would demand weeks Of
research and be worth hundreds Of
| aoiIars to answer. There IL ia again
II ! could answer such questions on
Judge. N's Sour'
| "Clergymen thinl, n 1ot of .,.
III. especially when they are In n
nue.. one OF them wrote an article
on christmas which was attacked. and
ne asked me for help. College profe !.
sors make scientific Inquiries. Are an