davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
A MATTER OF CONFUSION.
No Soup, No Dinner. the Rule Laid
Down by Barney.

Six years ago. when the king visited
Dublin. some amusing incidents were
recorded due 10 the grotesqueness OF
some hotel walters apparently Just
fresh from rural life.
One hotelkcopcr told such n newly
imported server" that he must al
ways serve every one with soup at
dinner and be quite certain that he
had a.
ThJrcupon ensucd the following
scene between visitor and the new
walter:
Soup. slr7' said Barney
mo soup for me" said tho visitor.
but you must have H." said Bar
ney; ITS the rules Of the house"
Hang the houso!" exclaimed tho
visitor highly cSasperated when ]
don't want soup won't eat H. Get
along with youl"
We'll said Barney, with solomnity,
AL can say is Just thls-its tho
rules OF the house and rorra n drop
else yen set till yc finish the aoupl'
London Telegraph.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
ECZEMA ALL OVER HIM.
No hihrs Rest for a Year and Limit
othis Endurance Seemed Near
-owss Recovery to cutieura.

MY son clyde was almost com.
pletcG covered with eczema. Physi.
clans treated him for nearly n year
without helping him any. Ills head.
face. and neck were covered with large
scabs which he would rub until they
fen Oh Then blood and matter would
run o., and that would be worse.
Friend coming to see him said that II
he go,Nell he would be dlsngurcd for
life When II seemed as n he could
possibly stand It no longer. used
some cutlcura Soap. Cutlcura ONT.
meat. and Cutlcura Roaolvont That
was The first night for nearly n year
that he slept In the morning there
was o great change for the better In
about nix weeks he was perfectly well.
Our leading physician recommends
Cuueun for eczema Mrs. Algy
Coekburn. Shiloh. o.. June IL. 1907"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
TOO GOOD FOR THIS EARTH.
Type Of once Boy = Creature Of
Funny Mans Brain.

80 you have come In answer 20 my
advertisement for Office boy7" said tho
old broker brskly. DO you smoke
cigarettes7"
NO. sir" replied the sanity young.
ster In the doorway
Chew gum or read novelist"
Never. sir"
"Play jugglcr with the paper
weights or talk nonsense through the
telephone when your employer is alb.
scnt7"
NO, sir"
Ever 10 10 the circus7"
Never saw a circus In my life. air"
How about baseball? DO you take
two or three afternoons a Wick to see
the gamer
Don't like baseball. sir"
The old broker bit the end of his
cigar.
MY boy" he said. quietly. this Is
the twenty ninth story. isn't ~"
4 think 30 sir"
Wei. Il Is not high enough for
you"
Not high enough for me. sir7"
NO. you belong up In paradise. -
Chicago News.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
IMPRESSED THE LITTLE ONE.
Department Of colored Gentleman a
Matter Of Admiration.

Lille Elsie, who had recently re-
turned nom a visit to Washington.
was describing 10 her companion some
OF thu wonderful things she had OBJ.
soryd In the Capitol City.
"Oto evening"" said she. brcathloss.
ly. PAPA took me to have supper at
n grand hotel whore the dining room
was iwfully big. and at the tables
around rs sat great senators and rep
representatives. with their wives. all
drinking champagnel"
u suppose the manners OF these
great persons were perfect" yentured
her companion. with widened eyes.
Yea" returned Elsie. But, she
added. with a sudden burst OF qhthusl
asm. 1he department Of the tolored
gentlenen who served the vise was
perfectly beautiful"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
rs Stomach Catat7A

Some people are thin and always re-
main thin, from temperamental rea.
sons. Probably in such cases nothing
can be done TO change this personal
popularity.
But there are large number OF peo-
pie who get thin, or remain thin, who
naturally would be plump and fieshy
but for some digestive arrangement.
Thin people lack In adiposc tissue.
Adiposo tissue is chiefly composed OF
fat.
Fat is derived from the oily constlt-
uents OF food.
The fat-making foods are called by
the psychologist, hydrocarbons. This
class OF foods are not digestcd in tho
stomach at all. They are digestod in
the duodenum, the division OF the ali.
mentary canal Just below the stomach.
The digestion OF fat is mainly, ~ not
wholly, the work Of the pancreatio
Juice. This juice is Of alkaline roac.
ton, and Il rendered inert by the addi.
tion Of acid. A hypcracidity Of tho
digestive fluids OF the stomach passing
down into tho duodenum, destroys
the pancrcatic fluid for digestive pur-
poses. Therefore, the fats are not d.
gested or emulsincd, and the system IL
deprived Of its due proportion Of oily
constituents. Hence, the patient grows
thin.
Tho beginning OF the trouble IL a ca
tarrhal condition OF the stomach which
causes hyporacidity OF the gastric
juices. This hypcracidity il caused by
fermentation Of food In the stomach.
When the food IL taken into the stom-
aoh, u tho process OF digestion does
not begin Immediately, acid formenta-
ton will take place. This creates n
hyporacidity OF tho stomach juices
which In their turn prevent the pam
create digestion Of tho oils, and the
emaciation results.
A dose OF Poruna before each meal
hastons tho stomach digestion. By
hurrying digestion, Pcruna prevents
fermentation OF tho contents OF tho
stomach, and the pancrcatic juice IL thus
preserved In its normal state. II then
only remains for the patient 10 eat n
sufficient amount OF fat-forming foods,
and the thinness disappears and plump
ness takes Its place.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
FULLY NoURIshED
orapkus a Perfectly Balanced
Food.

Noehemist's analysis OF Grape.Nuts
can egln TO show the real value OF
the boi-the practical value as shown
by IGtonal experience.
It's a food that IL perfectly bal.
ancd supplies the needed elements
Of laln and nerves in all stages OF
life tom the infant, through the siren
uoui times OF active middle life, and
Is asomfort and support In old age.
ne two years / have used Grape.
Mutt With milk and little cream, for
breakfast. am comfortably hungry
for ~ dinner nj noon.
"lute little meat, plenty Of yege-
tabls and fruit In season, for the
moot meal and II tired at tea time,
take Grape-Nuts alone and feel perfect
ly uoirlshed.
"yerve and brain power, and mem
DRY are much improved since using
GrapaNuts. am over sixty and weigh
los IDS. My son and husband seeing
how have improved, are now using
GrapeNus.
MY son, who is travelling man,
eats ,Rathhg for breakfast but Grape.
Nuts and glass of milk. An aunt,
over 70, seems fully nourIghed on
Grape.Nuts and cream" There's a
Reason"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read 1.-THE Road to Well.
yille," in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter. A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full Of human
interest.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

by local Applications. a. they cannot reach the Dis
tasfi poftiun oi The ear Thrfr n only one uay TO
dsafnusa. and that By constitutional femedies
neainfs \ caused By an innamed condition Of tho
mucous lining ~ the ItrtafhiAn fubs. when this
tubs = iniamed yuu have umbiins aound or Inn
pcffert hearing and when u y entifsy closed Deaf
nrsl the result. and unlcrs the Inflammation BE-
taten out and this tube fsofed ~ normal condi-
uun, hearing Nin b. destroyed iufeyrf, nine cAsea
out OF ten arr oausrsi By OatAffh. Nhich \ nothing
but an nnamed condition II tho murota surfaces
We WI fiyo one Hundred Doliar Tor any case ~
DraiuCla tcaussd by catAffhl that cannot 10 eured
Rold By Druggists. ~.
TAle Hans TamIy Pilh Toe constipation.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27

Mrs Wilson had a young Japanese
servant who had a habit OF trying
TO conceal from his mistress any
breakagc Of dishes OF which he
CHANGED to be guilty. The good lady
explained that II was wicked 10 de-
ceiye. and directed the Japanese TO
tell her whenever he broke anything.
The boy promised TO do as she ad.
vised. One day. while Mrs. Wilson
was entertaining some friends In the
parlor. the japanese suddenly APP
peared In the doorway. His teeth
were barred In n childllke smile. and
his eyes Sparkled with the light OF con.
scious virtue:
Mesa Wirson, you terra me. when
break someslng TO terra you. Ibreak
my pantsl'-Success Magazine.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
PeopIe az About coed rhIna,.

Twelve years ago few people knew Of
such a PREPARATION A. Powder for the
Feet. To-day after the genuine merits Of
Aliens Foot Ease have been told year after
year by grateful persons, Il h indispcns.
able 10 millions. II h cloanly, whole
some, healing and antscpiic aud gives
rest and comfort 10 tired aching feet.
II cures while you walk Over 5000
Testimonials. limitations pay the dealer
larger profit otherwise you would never
be offered a substitute for Aliens Foot
Ease. the original foot powder. Ask for
Aliens Foot Ease, and see that you get IL.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27

Bohemia has ceased 20 exist in the
Paris Latin quarter. according to Al
fred Capus. the playwright, who may
be regarded as an authority on tho
point. In n lecture delivered on be.
half OF the "Maison dEtudlants,"
which IL 10 DO the headquarters OF
the General Association Of Paris stu.
dents, he remarked: we must not
be afraid to acknowledge that our stu.
dents are no longer Bohemlnns"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
Wa, IN, 20. R,aIlv sad.

The FOX that Aesop made looked
up at the grapes.
Grapes souri," booted the d d owl
far up in the vines.
They may be-" yawned the FOX. in.
differently. "or they may be preserved
sweet by some chemical process. You
know the pure food laws are not az
strict as they might be. Anyway, !
don't care for them because am
afraid OF appendicitis"
And sly Reynard darted away TO en-.
Toy thl sport OF a fox hunt.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27

II tell you. Judson il a slick chap"
laughed Sllas Ryetop. HE took his
wife TO Washington and kept her In
the congressional library four hours"
what did he do that for7' asked
Hiram Hardapple.
why. begosh they fine you II you
talk In that building, and for four
hours she didn't speak word"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27

After suffering for seven years,
this " oman was restored To health
by Lydia n. pinkham's Vegetable
Compound. Read her letter.
Mrs. Sallie French, Of Paucaunla,
Ind. Ter, writes 10 Mrs. Pinkham:
81 had female troubles for seven
years-was all rundown. and so ner.
vous could not do anything. The
doctors treated me for different troubles
but did me NO good. While In this COM
dition | wrote 20 Mrs. PinkhAm for ad.
vice aud took Lydia T.. Pinkham's Vcge-
table Compound, and | am now strong
aud we'll"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27

THAT was a disgusting slap the gov.
ernor took at our bills" said tho New
Jersey legislator.
Seemed to irrltate him as much as
mosquito bills" admitted the disgrun'
tied colleague.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
II Cures While You Walk.

Aliens Foot.Ease il n certain cure for
hot, sweating, callous. and swollen, aching
Address Allen S. Olmsted. lie Roy, N. Y.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
NO. BUT HE USED TO BE.

Are you interested In things
psychical. Mr. Dubbs?
mo. Miss Culchaw; haven't
wheeled any since the chainless.goared
safety came in"
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
The Very WAY.

II lon't understand an expression
in tn book have been reading, pa;
how b you get over the bay?'"
"BJ taking n schooner. my daugh'
,arH
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
] Pleas FOR PAPA.

N Mlnister-You kept beautifully
tull While was preaching. Willie.
Did M like the sermon?
kH-No. sir; but papa said he'd
spans me good and plenty II woke
him o.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27

When you meet with men OF worth
think how you may attain their level;
when you see those OF an opposite
character. look within and examine
yourself.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27

There isn't much philosophy in a
man II II doesn't get busy when he
has occasion to visit a graveyard.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27
TEA
You think one tea as
good as anotherl
Why don't you buy at
the lowest price you see
in the Window

Your grocer returns your money u you don't
like Sehilling's Best. We pay him.
The Coalville times. [volume] (Coalville, Utah) 1894-1923, 1908-06-27

n SO. siss .l!s IhOmpsOn's Eye Water
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1908-10-30

of the tariff. On fall suit OF clothing,
based on the same figures and condi-
tions. the cost would be reduced TO the
extent Of say - cents or thcrenbonts.
This means all-wool clothing. and does
not take into consideration any shoddy
or cotton. which everybody knows Is
used extensively in low-prlced gar
mrnts. As a matter OF fact all wooden
clothing, or clothing made out of n
mixture OF wool, cotton and shOddy.
lever has. and never will, be sold to
the consumer for one penny less under
free wool conditions. Every school boy
knows that the cost OF his clothing un-
der dleveland's free wool reign was not
one cent reduced by the removal Of the
tariff. Any reduction In the cost OF
wool used In the manufacture OF an
ordinary suit OF clothing would he so
iniinltrsiinal that any manufacturer,
jubbcr. wholesaler or retailer would
laugh at the idea OF the public saving
anything by the removal OF the tariff
on wool. II Is the vcricst nonsense TO
consider this proposition for one mo-
mcnt. We have. for our own satisfac-
ton reduced the possible cost of all
the woolen clothing used In the United
States for one year. providing the SELL
ing value OF the goods were reduced to
the extent OF the reduction In the price
Of wool. and 1t reaches such ridicu-
lously low figure that 1t is not worth
mentioning. Everyone knows that our
manufacturers have to import about
twice the amount Of wool we grow IN
this country. Under ordinary business
conditions the tariff on wool has kept
the price up TO fair measure OF profit
for the grower. No. gentlemen, we want
no Bryan and free wool.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1908-10-30
What New Organism Means.

Reduced down to its final analysis.
this new Organism is the most danger
Gus fallacy that he has yet advocated.
His main argument is that the state
and the national government exact Of
bankers security for public funds. and
therefore that the ordinary depositor
should be likewise secured. The plain
answer Is, an individual depositor has
the same right as the government to
require security for his deposits. but
neither the government nor the deposit
or has any right to require one bank
to guarantee deposit in another
bank."-Oscar S. Straus. Secretary De-
partment Of Commerce and Labor.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1908-10-30

letter. telling why he has quit Bryan.
In closing he says:
"Many other suggestions occur to me.
but these | have mentioned suffice to
determine me, not to abandon Democ-
racy, but to vote for candidate for
the presidency whose election will go
far to insure the prosperity, peace and
happiness Of this great people.
EDWARD J. MAXWELL.
New York. Oct. II. 1905"
Every Com unity Has Taft Converts
Efforts of the Buffalo News to ascer-
tain the sentiment In the smaller towns
of western New York reveal the fact
that IN every community are many for
ner Bryan men who declare they Will
vote for Taft and the assurance Of
prosperity.
Brig. Gen. IIoratlo G. Gibson. U. s.
A.. retired. of Washington, says:
81 am Democrat. but l don't see
how the Democrats can support Mr..
Bryan. He does not seem to stand
for any of the real principles OF the
party. and II had vote for the pres
Idency. l certainly should not cast 1t
for him"
L. l.. Jones OF Ardmorc. Okla, has
written to the Ardmorc Statesman. say
Ing that although Il Democrat. he will
break "a custom that has ,,een n fam
iIy pride since the Civil War" and will
vote for Taft. BTyan's connection with
Haskell was the last straw for Mr..
Jones.
Frank II. Jones OF Chicago. who was
First Assistant Postmaster General for
four years under Mr.. Cleveland. said !:
Mr.. Bryan favors the guaranteeing
Of bank deposits and has committed
the Democratic party In its platform
and In his public speeches to this I'M
sound and dangerous doctrine. 1t must
be- admitted that on economic Iues-
tIons affecting the farmer. the me-
chanIc, business and country generally,
either Mr.. Bryan is dangerously un-
sound or he is willing 10 mislead the
peopIe and threaten their prosperity
by advocating measures he knows TO be
unsound. merely because for the mo-
mcnt his views seem popular.
"I do not want to see the prosperity
Of this country threatened by unsound
experimcntal policies such as Mr.. Bry-
ans past career proves he Is too prone
to indulge in.
"I,usincss confidence must be main
tnined, the factories kept busy and
labor employed and the farmer must
not be disturbed in the prosperity he
Is now enjoying.
The calm. forceful. intelligent and
conservative attitude OF Mr.. Taft in
all OF the important questions affecting
the public good assures us OF continued
progress.
"To risk Mr. Bryan is dangerous to
our business prosperity"
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1908-10-30
InJunctions Restrain Capital.

"I am against those guerlllas who
would destroy this most vital writ OF
conscience The court of equity is the
keeper of the peoples conscience and
the writ Of injunction is its most vnlu-
able power. 1t prevents the digging
of n ditch that will damage adjacent
property; compels railroads to furnish
cars. 1t stays the hands OF lawless
corporatlons from committing acts.
which once done would work an injury
that could not be amended. Under the
pIan OF the opposition you take the
hridle off for Iawless wealth and bid 1t
run wild. Scores more OF injunctions
have been issued against capital than
AGAINST labor. Name me one and will
name you at least 100 against capital"
Senator Albert J. Beverldge.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1908-10-30
MISSIONARIES CAPABLE
AND EARNEST
Taft Speaks Well of Mission Work
in Orient


reference to the recent iiattering in
terview about Mr.. Taft by Bishop Bash
ford OF the VI. +. Church In China led
the candidate Into n talk Of missions
lie referred to n book written by DR..
G. +. Morrison. of the London Times.
in which the missionaries are criticised
as not being of real use. and sighting
reference Is made to Rice Christians
These. rs Mr.. Taft explained. are the
natives who are said to pretend TO be-
come converts only to enjoy the bounty
Of the missions.
My own observations In the Orient
said Mr.. Taft. lead me to believe that
Dr. Morrison's criticisms are not jus
tilicd. The missions are the oulpnsts
OF our western civilization In China and
the other Oriental countries. and ! have
found the missionaries an earnest and
capable lot OF people. 1t was because OF
my observations of the good done by
them In the East that our government
| established clubs on the Isthmus OF
Panama. and put Y. NJ. C. A. secretaries
In charge. We also employed seven
preachers. Protestant and Catholic, who
| have built up churches. There are per-
haps 10000 white people and 10000
| others brought from the West Indies In
the canal zone. 1t was absolutely neces-
sary that something Of this kind b
done to prevent the pernicious effects
IL not checked."-New York World.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1908-10-30
Brynn's DenuncIntion Of Hughes.

About this time In n presidential con-
test partisan speakers run emptyincs.
As n melancholy instance OF this behold
Mr.. Bryan denouncinG Gov. Hughes as
the backer OF trusts. No man In Amer
lean life is more clearly entitled to
credit rs the defender OF the rights Of
the people than the governor OF the
Empire state. lie is rcformer who
has achieved results without talking
everybody 10 death. 1t may be added
that the voter who wants to get Mt the
real fact in the closing weeks OF such n
contest as is now in progress. when
each side is busy msrepresenting the
other, must dig them out for himself
and very often. too. the aforesaid voter
is too mad TO do it.-Springtield Re-
publican.
Rocky Ford enterprise., 1908-10-30
II Bryan should he Elected.

(From the Philadelphia Ledger. Ind.)
Two letters have been received from
leaders who touch on the intensely
practical aspects OF the campaign. A
business man wishes to know what. in
all human probability. would become Of
business and OF our wOntcd and desired
prosperity II. pcrchancc bryan and II
I,rynn administration should he chosen,
and n blunt. Intelligent wOrklngmnn,
whose letter Is too long for publication.
SAYS that there Is a lot of blathcr" in
politics. and he would like to know
what the ordinary skilled workman is
To get" IL Bryan is elected and what
Taft has to offer"
Those two Inquiries embody n large
part of the pertinent question for the
mass OF the nation. and the gist of the
answer may be given In few words !:
II Taft be elected there will be rest. re-
cuperatiOn, confidence and prosperity ;
II Bryan be elected there will he acute
danger OF unrest. lack of confidence
and uncertainty at least for long time,
and the probability Of prolonsation
of resuscitation OF that stagnation from
which the country Is now by slow. Ia
bored and painful effort beginning to
recover.
The country is Just beginning TO re-
cover from the Industrial paralysis.
The crops are passing fair; the people
OF the nation are rich our institutions
are all sound: every known factor and
material influence concerned in the re-
turn OF immediate. aboundinG. astound-
ing activity and prosperity is present
save only-conrplete restoration of con-
iidencc. The only known or conceivable
influence which acts to retard mnnufac-
turing and general industrial operations
and the full employment of all work
ers ut this time is the lingering politi.
cal unrest and the knowledge that n
presidential campaign must be held be-
fore the atmosphere is finally cleared
so that "cowardly capital' will trust Its
head forth again from its safe deposit
caves,