The Mitchell capital. (Mitchell, Dakota [S.D.]) 1879-1918, 1908-08-28
JAP SCH00LB0Y
ON THE FOURTH
Some Thoughts Quaint and
Funny on the Observance
Thereof.

HaSNlVluTa lOSO, lic JdDdllCSc 1AlSo
boy who entertains the readers or Col
iier.s with his inimitable humor, this week
asks ''one humor reproach ABOUT some
nen 10 these U. S.. July L." In part ha;
says:
MIR. Editor. by most nearly genuine sta
tistick SO. 600. 900 are burned off OF America
nv each annual July 4. This are suffi-
Gent to built L of them battleships what
congress feel too poor to vote. Six hun
dred persons is entirely killed by this
yearly bangup. Such q number would
make a very nice crew for such a battle
ship. They might sail 1t & never enjoy
death until old age dc 1t. Would it not
be a splendid plan for all Americans to
avoid purchase of tirework for l year &
sent the money to Senator Beverage to
buy such a patriotick boat? 1t might be
PAINTED of red color to resemble frecrack-
ers & would be a floating monument to
all brave Americans who did not die on
July A. I suggest an earnest thought.
All, Mr.. Editor. l can hear YOU said
something with sweet voice! l can hear
YOU sold. "Tha Japanese schoolboy have
a soul minus feet; else why he make such
a rail- against July a. when all them fire.
work what is burned for glory are of
Japanese par~entage?" Quite so truthful
it are for you TO speek this, MIR. Editor.
Sky racket, pinnS wheen, flower pottery.
niger chase & romantic candle fireworks
was formerly of japanese parentage. but
IlleN WAS VERY ltlli ! * VIII NIIo AIIS
when made in Japan. 1t We're when they
began to be manufactured I'm New Jersey
that they became boystrous, d%isappated
4 disorderly shoots.
by olden date of time 1t were custom
for cash wealthy Daimo what wes feeling
joyful about his ancestors to invite selec-
ton of persons to come his garden to have
a see. Pretty soon it was dark. then Hon.
Daino would set atire one flower pottery
filled with gunpowder. Sky was filled
with fiery blossoms to resemble botany.
Tina are q lily plant OF firework." say
Hon Daimo, '.lIow you lise?"
20 how. swcet!' declaim all guests
humping forehead with missy politeness.
Then they drink tea & go home with calm
indications about great emperors 6
other famous politicians.
Japan do not make such blazes very
rnuchly now days. She too busy witt or
binary killing machinery to devote times
TO decorated deaths. When Japan have
got to nail together G new Dreadnothings
annually for all time Of future in order
to keep civilized. what chanst have she
got to shoot off romantic candles for an
cestors? But she do 1T slyly now & then.
And yet / are not entirely cross & i-
ritate when 1 see small kidIy boys allow.
ing off noises on them July 4 date. Mem
Dry of Concors & Lex. are worth burning
some fingers for; but to blow out eyes for
such a memory are wastefully unneces-
sary. Independence day are a variety OF
intemperance, and yet 1 might weep with
eye to see it abolish by prohibition. What
say Dan Webster about this? He say.
.'Intemperance are a good thing when
took moderaterly." A very slight July 4
could not hurt anybody-not even a col
lege professor what often injure his fine
brains a thinking about Standard Oil &
how get some.
Therefore / take ferryboat to some
shades of wood next July 4 and there en-
49,. n..@~ riplxri11 co,,3r,itol, a. oj~
arctic will be smoked by me. followed by
this poem, which are less complete still:
O Columbia the jam of the ocean,
The home Of the Greek and the Slav,
Some object of frequent devotion.
What nice summer climate you have!
With them garland Of W around
With picknick & baseball game. too,
o this Jap boy are glad he nave found
Banzai for such red, white & blue.
(To make a chorus keep on singing IT'D
Hoping you will not go away and leave
your insurance in the Office,
Yours truly.
Hashimura Togo.
s. P.-Hon. Maxim, Jr.. child of Hon. FL
Maxim, explosion man, have invent a spe-
cies Of powder what explod silently.
When this are used soldiers can talk dur
ing entire battles without fear Of inter-
rupt. II Hon. Maxim, jr.. can fill July
4 with this nolseless powder, won't he be
a greater beneftter to human races than
Sir Ike Newton? I require no answer.
H. T.