Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-03-27

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| fSh0ti boy kih TANK III swimming
school, anxiously) oh. pa; I've swal-
lowed some water, VIII they mind p
Punch.
Tommy-Pop. what is the difference
between fame and notoriety? Tommy's
Pop Notoriety lasts longer, my SON.
Philadelphia Record
Did you ever see any one so home
Typ No; why, he's so homely that
automobile goggles are actually becom-
| ing To him. ST Louis Times.
How we have changed since the old
daysp What do you mean? "Why,
/ today 1t isn't half so blessed to give
as II Is to be receiver" Life.
Mamma, have got to take bath
to-nightT' Pm afraid you have, my
, dear but l haven't done anything
all the week TO deserve it."-Llfe.
Mr., Jawback That boy gets his
brains from me. Mrs. Jawback- Some
body got 'em from you. If you ever
had any-that's a clnch.--Cleyeland
Leader.
Peggy Was that p'liceman ever a
little baby, mother7 Mother-Why,
yes. dear. Peggy tthoughtfully
don't believe I've ever seen baby
plicemanl
Farmer Bentover-Tve Just heard
that the widder Diggs has married her
hired man. Farmer Hornbeak Then,
he'll have to climb down from the fence
and go to work.-puck.
Mrs Newroeks-Reaily, I'm sorry
we didn't accumulate more souvenirs
OF our European trip. Mr. Newrocks
/ oh, we can get all we want In New
York Town and Country.
Mrs. Hoon (iocaiaS up from her
newspaper Here is an item about a
convict who writes poetry in prison.
MIR. Hoon Hmi Ia that what be is
In for 2--Phiiadelphia Ledger
IL notice that you nearly always
smoke when You are writing" said the
caller. DO you draw your inspiration
from your piper" ''No," replied the
horse reporter, II draw smoke"
Mistress Jane l saw the mllkman
kiss you this morning. In the future
will take the milk In. Jane---
| Wouldn't be no use, mum. He's prom
ised not TO kiss anybody but me.
Boarding Mistress L want weeks
board In advance, so as to be sure of
It, New Boarder-Thafs all right
Here's your money: now l want a
weeks food in advance for the same
reason.
he-Young girls always want to
marry for love, but when they grow
older they want to marry Il man viCh
money. She-Yon're wrong. They don't
grow old; they merely grow wiser
st. Joseph Press News
Everything lovely down at the
houseY Yes; We are leading the
quiet life these days" ''How do you
work III" Well. you see, we have
photograph, and Il alternates with my
wife after supper. - Nashville Banner.
Jack hear you are engaged to that
homely Miss Gotrox. Tom Yes; she
has half million In her own right.
Jack But money doesn't always lead
TO happiness, old man. Tom True,
but 1t ought TO help some In the search.
Chicago News
Business Man tbusy with corre-
spondenee) fn that telegram of Beat
| ties yesterday he said, letter follow
ing I don't see the letter here. Stem
| ographer Why, don't you remember?
we received Il the day before we got
the telegram. Puck.
BOremI think hear your fathers
step ON the stairs. so perhaps | had
better bid yOn good night. Miss Hits
(yawnIng) oh. IT can't be father; he's
n late sleeper. Perhaps it's the hired
girl coming down 10 prepare breakfast.
Chicago Daily News.
wei, wen" growIed the nrst man
at the banquet. why did they call on
that man for a speech? He doesn't
know how to talk" ''No," replied the
other, but he doesn't know what he's
talking about anyway, So there's no
harm done philadelphia Press.
Reporter Senator, have heard that
you got your start In life by selling
newspapers Rsnator Lotsmun-Not
quite correct, my boy The fact is
but this Is confidential, you know
that ! got my start by buying one or
two newspapers Chicago Tribune.
Johnny, why don't you be good
boy like your brother Willyf7 the
mother was sternly admonisbing her
naughty son. willy here may be
President some day. while you will
have to dig in the sewer" But, moth
err walled Willy, ''can't I dig In the
sewer sometimes too7" Harper's
Weekly.
Professor" Eaid Mrs. Gaswel to
the distinguished musician who had
been engaged at high price to enter
tain her guests. what was that lovely