The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-11-08
MAGAZINE SECTION.
HOW. Ally PASSED THE LEMON

ma .e.,,r cbeei" says Swiftly. "All the
- organs is playin' that tune. Ring
On P,t say. what's the use wastin' high
- -.oDversation on a cOcoanut head
Tie tbat2 So / don't tell him what
bannens out 10 Primrose PARK on wet
sunday. You see, when ! goes up on
saturday night I was looKln' Tor an
otber dry sizzler; but ] guess must
nave read the signs wrong Tor When
wakes up in the mornln tne rdlh i
comm down slautWise ana plenty anu
Inc lawn is lOO5iT' as soggy as the un-
ny, c,,gt If "a buckleberry pie.
T. srra seems ike an all-day session
nth NV heels up on the rail and moth
an, doin' but read the papers ana wish
was hack on Broadway. one OF MIS-.
V-ba1av-s Sunday breakfasts cheers me
I'm some and I've got myself planted
a. a drv corner of the side porch, pre-
,,arad for the worst; when l hears
sor,ethiu' out on the Post road that
,,.lrae me sit UP. II sounded IKE
eoIid bumn. followed by breakin' glass
commits out through the rain ana sees
. bir black tourin' car with It's nose
iammed good and hard against an elm
free about three foot thick.
~. ooks like a case of sliddin, says
/ 10 myself. r,,o,.,,..
quite some Of a curve OUT lhere, anu
he road helm greasy. and maybe on
secoI,rt of the dew on his goggles, Mr..
cF,,4far has cut il too fine. Not bein
abIo 10 climb the tree or so through It,
rbe sixtv-horsepCWer gives hiccup or
two and goes out Of business
Tuckv he was runnin' inside the speed
limit ar the machine would have plas-
tered him up against that tree so tight
tbe coroner would have had to pry him
off with a putty knife As it is. he only
has his wind knocked out by the steer
in' wheel and before 1 can grab an
umbrella and get half way out to the
road he has got his breath back and
has climbed out to take a view of the
busted lamps and the crumpled hood
That's one way Of stOppin' quick,
says T. sOOthin'.
'Sacr-r-re," says he.
Which don't help much" says I;
but # it's any relief to your feelin's,
LET il come
And he does. too I don't under
stand much French; but you can al
WAYS tell .uss words in any language,
and this gent had a fine lot on tap. lie
was wllkin' around that busted ma
chine and tearin' 'em off by the yard,
when some one raps on the plate glass
windows Of the limousine| and he corks
Nd like the emergency brake had been
put on.
Gee" says I. 7 thought you was
ruunin on an empty. If you've got
folks IN there you'd better see how bad
they're shook up"
with that / begins rubberln' at the
black windows but / got as much sat
isfaction as if I'd been peelxin' down
a jointed gas pipe Every curtain was
pulled down tight. except one, and that
only stays zap Ions enough for hand
e. wave the shutter tc the other side
Of the car. He tTOtS around lively, too,
and begins 10 explain how it happened
and what the damage was.
Well. there didn't seem to be any wild
cai for my help. or society, either: but
! was gettin' curious. wanted to
know what kind of people was ridin'
around i'm the rain that way. with the
shutters all up, so / strolls across TO
my side of the road and waits to see
what's goin' TO happen next. II didn't
take long for Goggles to convince his
people that the car was all to the bad.
Then I sees a shade pulled back, and
has a feelin' that some one was sizin'
me up close. In a minute or so the
shUffer comes over and touches his cap.
as polite as you please.
"Ecs that the house of monsieur -
says be. pointin' to the cottage.
That's the house of me, for fact. -
says T.
"Pardong." says he; but will mon
sieur have the great kindness to de-
clare his name?"
why. cert. Frenchy." says I. u
am Monsoon Shorty McCabe Here's
my business card and telephone num-
her Sorry I amt got my latest pho
tograph and vaccination certificate too. "
'Merci, merci,' says be
same 90 you and many of EN-" says
II want exactly the weather I'd pick
out for swappin' bows and that sort
OF thing, but / can be Just as polite as
ue next one even if I am standin' in
ue mud with an umbrella leakin' down
my collar.
Frenchy takes the card over 10 the
smut up machine and pokes it through
" sHt IN the door. Say, il was all done
aS mysterious as if the stage was set
Ie' some kind of a jugglin' trick. First
TeHchE puts his face up close to the
E'dSS ana chins a minute or so with
"~t tahIn breath, then he listens TO
""I somebody fires back. shruggin
l,lS shoulders and shakin' his head all
.ue liihe. and next he steps out into the
l"dd' looiun' mp and down anxious like
was settu' soaked from my knees
o''"H, nut IT was 100 eXcftin' to leave
-" OF sudden the side door pushed
-psh' and some one beckons me over.
He was q Well-shaped. middlin' Oldish
1y| with a cropped gray mustache
,l '~ d PAIR az close set gray eyes that
-'' almost feel eXplOrin' the back of
ii-'' mead as he turned 'em on me. But
1"S real smooth spoken. He wants
~ Ano" how far 1t is TO the nearest
1-'17se, ana if he could telephone. and
minded them waitin' awhile at my
10, course. l says that in case OF
'S Alhd my ranch is wide open for
as long as they likes
well says he, turnin' to the dark
r''1I OF The car. what do you say?"
.tl- -gSSea II | could see a thing inside
mere out has a lady all pictured out.
~, u. 20 JUST how high her wells come
' e'e cushions. All the answer he gets
D. sort of humble that I couldn I
but You know it isn't safe TO stay
ner. '''~ AZ
-, pTlckS up my ears a little at that.
Maybe sittin' in a busted bubble along
.'ie me road amt the most joyful pas
uIne IN the world; but I couldn't fig
w, uIe out why it want safe. The argu-