davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

told me that I'm a thousand to the bad
in Lichtenstein's book from yesterday. al
though I'd forgotten all about it, and
didn't fetch the stuff down with me, and
I've
For heavens sake. why can't you bite
all that and just say you want the thou
sand?' broke out Grammar. and he passed
his explaining friend the money.
''Grannan's objection to being touched
on the track was due more to the fact
that such incidents distracted his atten-
ton from the business in hand-the racing
itself-than from any unwillingness to
give up. He lost less through lending
money, perhaps, than any of the big
moneyed men around the tracks. The
'touchers' had too keen an appreciation
of the value of the friendship of SO open
handed a man as Riley Grammar to take
chances on losing 1t.
Zone forenoon, six or seven years ago,
during the summer racing. Grammar met
betting friend. now a very prosperous
man. at one of the Broadway hotels. The
friend was taking breakfast. and when he
saw the plunger he looked chagrined
Grammar walked over to his table with a
cordial greeting.
"Jim.' said the plunger. what ails you.
anyhow? I haven't seen you at the track
for long speH-ten days or So
" Sta ying away for bit, Riley said
the friend.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

son. 81 only meant to ask YOU if you
thought that these eedingly-er-ultra
hats
There you go again with that cheap
and piffiing pretense that you know some
other languages than the American.
broke in Mr.. Jobson. Il wish you'd pick
out somebody else to uncoil that on. l
WISH
.'Sh- sh-do you see that dashing looking
woman walking across the street at the
corner?" interrupted Mrs. Jobson. glad
of a chance to switch Mr. Jobson from
one of his wound-up topics. Now. do
you think the hat she is wearing Is
pretty?"
Pretty" exclaimed Mr.. Jobson. enthusi-
astically. It's as pretty as a window
full of lavender orchids. That's some hat.
It's wonder you wouldn't stake yourself
to a hat that's got some speed and style
about it like that. instead of those bloom
ing old helmets that you're wearing
around all the time. It's wonder you
don't wear one Of those vintage of 1873
toques heaped up with cherries on top and
that tie beneath the neck around under
one ear like hangman's moose. That
woman has got some idea about hats"
Mrs Jobson experienced a glow of in
ward happiness. The hat that Mr. job
son was enthusing about was one o. those
extraordinarily wide sailor contraptions
with two immense fiaring light blue wings
in front. 1t was an extreme hat from
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

"'What for asked Grammar. Cold
feet?'
1.-The other man tossed his napkin down
and said:
Nope Not cold feet. But I'm into
you for four thousand. If you happen to
remember and l didn't want to meet up
with you UNTIL 1 had the kale to hand to
you. That's all
Grammar grinned. You're an ass. jim
he said pleased. all the same. over the
conscientiousness shown by his friend
Picking anything up?
"'Oh in two-bit lots said the friend.
"'Well, let's start said Grammar. and
the two went to the track in Grannan's
automobile.
THAT was the day when Grammar put
over his famous killing on Intrusive. He
got 81 900 down at 10 to l for his con-
scientious friend without the latter know
ing anything about 1t. On the following
morning Grammar walked into the hotel
where his friend was again breakfasting
count 1t and see II It's all right,
matey,' said Riley. tossing yellow bundle
beside his friends plate. The roll con-
tanned twenty $500 bills. That's your bit
of the Intrusive thing, and now If you
want to pay me that four thousand, why,
go ahead and pay your head OF.
"Grannan hated to be followed around
In the betting ring. in the days when he
was doing his own betting. by chaps eager
to find out what he was playing. This sort
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

and is just good as new. From now
on Mr.. Miller will be heard in a pVrsSs-
ally conducted concert al 4 80 dailS. e.
cept Sunday. District committee room
third floor. House office building Any
one interested in Sobby, soulful strains
VIII do well to call.
Just a Little Hustle.
"A man can do anything il he sets his
mind to 1t, and Congress can do any
thing by the same process says Repre-
sentative Jim Watson OF Indiana. who
was recently nominated by the republic
ans for governor of the Hoosier state.
Mr.. Watson's compelling personality
was never better illuminated than by the
light of his performance on the adjourn
ment proposition. Mr.. Watson blew back
from Indiana some little time ago. when
every body in Congress was gloomily talk
ing Of June l or - as the earliest posi-
BILE get -away date. He heard this line of
prediction with disgust, inasmuch as he
will be a busy young man, with q fine
hustling campaign his hands. from
early until late during the recess, and he
started out talking May 10 as the best
time for adjournment Now the leaders
of the Senate and House say they ex-
pect to quit legislating by May or pos
sibly earlier.
"All the folks down here needed was a
little shaking up" says Mr. Watson in
explanation. They had grouched SO long
on the subject of late getaway that they
really believed Congress couldn't wind UP
its business any earlier than the middle
of June or. by extraordinary exertion.
possibly by the list. Now every body
knows that all the work in the Senate
and House is we'll In hand, and We are
all working to adjourn early in May.
Mighty few things are Impossible in this
vale of tears"
IT'S said Mr.. Watson has decided to be
President some day. and with this kind
of mental makeup his prospects don't
! look too dim, either.
IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

fectly ridiculous?"
Ridiculous" echoed Mr. Jobson. ex-
aiming the hat with an expression Of
instant and enthusiastic approval,
Whats ridiculous about it? I think
it's as snappy as a bullpup at teething
time. It's what they're wearing, isn't
1T? Or do you think that you ought to
be constituted a little millinery arbiter
on your own hook and dictate to all
the rest of the world of women what
you think they ought to wear In the
line of skypieces. hey?"
oh. no." said Mrs. Jobson. but 1t
struck me that that hat was bit ex-
IRENE In style. and although / know It
would be becoming to me. yet 1 fear
that 1t would
All right. just to show you how much
afraid am of what they say come on
In and we'll buy that hat" and Mr. Job
son led the way into the millinery shop,
and Mrs. Jobson. with seeming re-
luctance tried the hat on. and Mr. job
son said that 1T was immense and a
corker and the finest thing she'd ever
had on her head in all her life, and he
dug up the $3.50 that 1T cost without
a murmur, and Mrs. Jobson had won
out just as easy as falling out OF
canoe on the upper Potomac.
There are lots Of ways of handling
em, but Mrs. Jobson, when she wants
to make dead sure of triumphing, nearly
always employs the reverse English.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

he'd push back the hair over his ears
and give his straight-front surcingle a
dab or two and wait for the next one to
spin along SOS he could play peek a-boo
with her.
THE old-time cop that I'm talkin'
about could spot a providing crook on his
beat as far as you can see Pike 8 Peak
on summer morning. and he didn't take
and blow 'em to q chocolate ice-cream
soda when he spotted them, either He
didn't string along with the tool workers
and till tappers, like some of these ex-
lags of soldier cops-lke that military
cop that got an eight-year stretch the
other day for helpin' bunch of cold
chiselers. his pals, to break into a store
on his own beat. He didn't hound men
that had done their bits and that were
tryin' to behave and live it down. either
Any old kind of a cop in my day knew
whether the fellows on his beat that had
been Jagged We're actin on the level or
gettin' back to the old thing when they
got out They had the open mitt and
the word of cheer for the boy that was
begnnin over. and they bent the gun
over the turned-loose lag that showed
that he didn't mean to behave.
An Eye for the Woman.
THE rough-neck cops didn't use to puff
out around the top of the vest when they
stumbled upon some starvin' family.
woman and children. on their beat, and
skated around and took up collection.
generally among the other cops, to help
the hungry ones out and start 'em goin'
again. 1t wasn't anythin' out of the COM
mon. You'll stick around for a long
while before you'll nail any of these SOL
der cops with the cute pink hair in the
act of lendin' helpin' hand to the
hungry. They're too busy stealth peeks
at themselves in the show windows to see
if their caps are on straight.
ITO chop, the old style or cop that
they're irwin to run off into the Bad
Lands, and succeedin at 1t. too. made a
business of policing, and not prettying.
He knew his people. He was In contact
with 'em. He had EN- charted. He knew
which of 'em needed him. He knew when
to slam i'm and when to sheer off When
the big minute swung along he knew
what he was there for, without gassin'
over a wire for orders. If the orders he
had covered the thing. all right; he obey
ed EN-; If there didn't happen TO be any
orders GOVERN it. why. he had somethin'
else underneath his hat besides wavy
hair and mayonnaise dressin' beneath
that and he'd make his own orders: ana
in language that told about what had
happened, even IL it didn't get him hun
bred per cent in English literature for
Give me the cop. every time. that
cuts his finger nails with a knife. even
if he does eat string beans with another
knife and make a chair creak when he
sits down. I'd match one o. that kind,
weekdays and Sundays. for police efffN
cheney. against any half dozen of these
Percy off the Pickle Boat soldier cops-and
I know both kinds as well as know the
color of my own hair or the feel of my
own teeth in my face"
Thus Big Bill There may not be much
'styIeology'' i'm his argument. but from
where l sat, listening to him. the argu-
ment certainly did not seem to be devoid
IF pith.
CLARENCE l. SI1kI1Rnk
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

anxious looking chap with the visible 81
note. you've been treading OH my heels
for half mile now-and are you sure you
have got the right one at that?'
Well replied the shabby chap. was
trying to listen, Mr.. Grammar. because L
haven't cashed a bet In long time, and
they've got me down to my last two
bucks, and
Come over here said Grammar. taking
the man by the arm and hauling him over
to ring stanchion. Are you a gabber.
or can you keep your tongue between your
teeth"
THE dejected-looking chap replied that
he didn't know anybody around the track
to talk to.
/ ".All right said Grammar. hurriediy
skinning a 800 bill from his roll. 'Taks
this and get it down on Rolling Boer for
yourself-dOn't pinch out any of 1t. but
get 1t down as it stands-theres to L
now, If you hustle and Grammar rushet
off to see that his commissioners were at
tending to their business of eating up the
price against Rolling Boer.
1.-THE shabby-looking chap obeyed the
plunger's injunction. and made the biggest
bet of his life. with a plungers money
on plunger's selection for his own profit.
Rolling Boer walked in. Ill bet that shah
by chap had a pleasant thought or so
of Riley Grammar when the plunger CASH
ed In at Rawhide the other day"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18
.o.,aI Corre.pordence Of The Star.

s,oc,al Correspondence Of The Star.
NEW YORK, April II. 1905.
-HF. modern military policeman
versus the old-fashioned ciup-
/ swinging cop Which is to win!
Nobody knows, as yet. Each OF the
types has his vehement partlsans iheIe
Is no middle ground for partisans Ihere-
fore this argument, whenever and wher-
ever it is started. inevitably becomes
.crid explosive, tangled and futile on
both sides.
Probably this is because the conhlct OF
opinioil on the subject does not admit OF
compromise At bottom 1t Is simply an
o,ber verbally yociferous outbreak OF the
ever-impending warfare between the OLD
and the new. The two types of police
mon are too far apart, too diametr1caliy
different in temper method, initiative and
,nd;viduality. to be dovetailed or merged
;oto.a debatable composite Their re-
spective supporters make no such an at
4emnt They apprehend. no doubt, the
mor,itcation of falling between two
stools.
The Argument Pro and Con.
Certain impressions. II not obvious Facts
NAV. however, be sifted from THIS cease
less yet oblique and non-progressiFe con-
,a,,io, One of them Is that the modern
type OF military policeman certainty
atones i'm pictorial effect for whatever ne
NAV lack in efficiency. This brings up
the point rs such a compensation-splck-
and-spanuess at the seemingly necessary
sacrifice of police competence-desiraDie
Which is the better. the pulchritudinous
or the merely proficient protective police
MANI Thus. even while trying TO avoid
it, We blunder upon the very heart ana
core OF the argument PicturesQuehess.
neutrality-suspicious. is the nub of the thlng
in Two words Does the possession OF
waist-line. and a uniform that fits like
that of first sergeant of cavalry. make
good policeman, If such a policeman have
not in addition, mans share OF COM
mon sense plus at least spark OF inltla-
tive? You will hear the upholders OF the
old-fashioned type of policeman express
ing their View in some such words.
Proponents of the modern police theory
reply that policemen do not need initia-
tive in their business; that all they need
10 do TO be accounted efficient is to obey
orders like regular soldiers, their garrf-
son-hemmed prototypes. Might not even
iayman drive a coach-and-four through
such a theory? II might be pointed out
at any rate that the duties OF police
man and the duties of a soldier diner
about as widely as do the activities OF
buddhist priest and those of a Protestant
bishop; that the policeman, In an emer-
rency, must necessarily act as detached
unit often assuming responsibility not
covered by instructions. whereas the SOL
der. individually an inconsequenfial fac
tor of a compact, collective force. Is
mere medium for the carrying out of or
ders that are usually spoken In MS ear py
a superior.
Defenderf of the modern, soldierized
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

If you can't smoke up and get in the game
and fall in line with what the spunky
women are wearing, and look like some
thing and somebody, why-oh. well. there
Is way around all these little matters;
there's a way and Mr.. Jobson preened
himself and gazed around the street like
sure-enough clip who might deyelop
into a very dickens of a cut-up If he had
a mind to-
"Oh. we'll, of course, l want to dress to
suit you said Mrs. Jobson. soothingly.
Il am sure l have no desire to grow Old
any faster than anybody else. only nat
urally | wanted to consult you about SO
important thing as buying a spring
hat"
You're there with the oil all right"
replied Mr.. Jobson. some appeased for
all that. but you'll never get me to ap-
prove of any of these blamed old fioppy
lids that you're always springing
"Oh. come over here to this window,
please" said Mrs. Jobson right then,
clutching his arm and drawing him
over to a millinery display which she
had carefully charted out in advance.
Surely, now" and she pointed out in
the middle of the display d Merry
Widow hat that she was just bound and
determined to have for herself or one
just like it, if there was any chance on
earth for her to make it. you wouldn't
call that hat anything else but per-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

III LEY GRAMMAR wasn't mark
for his friends they call
N man who overdoes the loanlns
thing but he was sure-enough liberal To-
ward men whom he liked and who Tell
into hard-luck streaks,' said thurman
who was close to the plunger VINO oieu
at Rawhide. New. the other DAY. W
course ! am speaking now OF the Gays
when Riley was there with the peiis OIL
Along in his latter years he didn't nave
much to be liberal with. But when ne
had il he didn't know how to turn away
from a friend who really was down on his
luck.
Back in 1S91--Grannan's biggest year
a friend of his had horse In the Brook-
lvn handicap. which was won by Crna-
ment. The friends horse was mortgaseo.
together with the few remaining horses In
the string. The owner believed his good
horse had a chance TO win the Brooklyn.
and every dollar he owned in the world
only a few thousands-was up on the
horse in the future books. Not only that
but the owner stood to lose the horse and
all the rest of the horses of his string II
the race went elsewhere, which, OF course
il did.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

form make him a soldier? Then the duck
that sits alongside a coachman. wearin
tan top boots and white chamois pants
and silver buttons on his coat and pea
cock feather in his plug hat-why isn't he
a soldier. too? I'm not knockn' sol
diers They've got their end of it. They're
on the job. They do what they're told-but
there's somebody with gilt spraddled all
over him to tell 'em every minute what
to do. and to see that they do it, And
that's what these soldier cops are told to
do-to get orders about everythin. They
spend most o their time, when they're not
combin their eyebrows and tryin to make
d hit with women passers-by by lookin
sad and sweet. in telephonin for orders
They're like rookie soldiers OF the army
that yell for the corporal of the guard
every ten minutes that they're on guard
duty. When anythin' happens on their
beat that they haven't been told about,
they bust blood-vessels lopin to tele-
phone to ask the man at the precinct
desk what they'd better do about it-and
by the time they hang up the receiver the
thing they're been askin' about is all
over and the crowd that gathered has
broken up. laughin'. Why wouldn't they
laugh?
Funny, But the Goods.
THE rough-neck cop with the red mus
fash and the wide. square toed shoes may
have looked funny in the comic supple
ments: he may have fallen for beef stew
quicker'n he'd go to a mess o. crabmeat
a la Splookensburg: he may have had
freckles on the back of his hands: he may
have combed his hair. wet. with brush.
instead Of flufflng 1t all over his block like
a violoncello player in a symphony or
chestra-and like some O. these soldier
cops that see: he might have talked out
O. the southeastern corner o. his mouth.
like m friend 1nhn CuI Int ba
was there. sport, take 1t from me, when
it came to the cops job of protectin' citi-
zens and the property O. citizens. He
didn't beat 1t to telephone to ask the
desk man If he'd better pinch some bug
he'd caught maxim looney faces at little
children on the street. He may not have
known one O. them first-call- for-reveille
salutes from a plate o. ham and eggs,
but he knew what a cops work was. and
worked at it. What he didn't know about
fours-right and left-oblique and bat-tal-
considerations would have filled
book. but what he did know about fannin'
roughs and DRINKS and spottin' gumshoe
men and housebreakers and nippin' riots
and keepin an eye on his beat as IL he
was up in a balloon and lookin' down at
it-well, he didn't get these things out of
any book.
He used his club. you'll hear Well,
what did he have a club for-to pick his
teeth or to play pat-a-cake-man with 1t 3?
He dubbed 'em when they needed it
when they were achin' and hankerin' and
sweatin' to be dubbed. He knew that
bein' a cop wasn't like bein'. overseer of
barn dance or a pink tea or a rummage
sale. and when the cop-hatin' gangs
rounded him up and cornered him. what
was he goin' to do-tell EN- that 1t was
all a mistake, and that he was sorry, and !
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

Switch and 'Curfew Shall Not Curf To-
night and the sleep-walkin' scene from
Macbeth and The Burial o. Sir John
Moore and all like that. After they'd
the planola. they'd be about right Then
they could stick orchids in their button-
holes and make Montmorency de Pey-
ster. the cotilon leader, look like long
shoreSman.
Beau Brummels in Blue.
Say. dye know that it takes about four
o these hep-hep-straw-foo ters to get
lush to police station? saw four of 'em
clawin' at five-footzfo souse the other
day. He leaned against an awning post
and told EN- he'd rather not be pinched
They told him that circumstances over
which they had no control rendered 1t
imperative, and so OIL only caught the
drift of it. Then the pickle told 'em to
go get their hair singed, and they began
clawin' at him. They reminded me Of
lot O. old women scratchin' over sun
bonnet. -. Maybe they were tryn' to get
the jiu-jitsu on him or somethin'. but.
anyhow, he stalled 'em for about fifteen
minutes, and me standin' nearby in
doorway loOkin' ii over and achin to
bounce that bun against the side of a high
along. and then them four cops pulled
their caps down tight. SOS to be sure and
not get their hair mussed. and handed
the drunk the foot ball V-wedge. He mus,
have weighed all of hundred and Thirty
five pounds. and SO they had to work like
dinge cotton-wharf hands, all four of
'em. to load him in the wagon. In my
day one cop would have picked that lush
up with one hand and tucked him under
his arm and carried him along to the sta
ton, whistlin' The Rose o. Kildare on
the way.
get to the front accordin to the literary
excellence Of their reports? Do you get
that. sport-the literary excellence? The
cop that looks like a ham actor moochn'
down and uncoil a report that reads like
somethin' out o Cap Collier or The
Maniac Mother by laura Lean Jibbey-
he's the boy that gets the goodies.
A Piece Of Roquefort.
1.-THE poor mutt with red mus fash and
weatherbeaten criss-cross marks on his
neck that Amt afraid Of fire. water. man
or devil. that wouldn't hide behind stoop
If he saw seven stick-up men bearin down
on him. but that spells the big words In
ilAS AOPoAs "ioh6 anu up tHO paper
with finger marks-he's a piece O. Rogue
fort, accordin' to the modern way of
sizin' UP cops. and the best he gets is a
beat where the nanny goats make faces
at him and where there isn't anythin' to
protect except some new tree boxes.
IT'S applyin' the soldierin' idea to
cops-that's what does it. "A cop isn't a
soldier any more than he's Daughter
Of the Revolution or member of the
mothers congress. Does wearin' a uni
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-18

which you've never worn more than
twice.
Every hat / have--there are fully TWO
is worn to a thread" replied Mrs. Job-
SON promptly. "Of course. III be need
ing some sort of hat. and at once but
wanted to ask you what your idea was
as to these new styles. l don't think
much of them
"Oh. you don't think much OF EN-,
hey?" said Mr.. Jobson. right glad to find
himself on her trail. so that he could
run counter to it. Whats the matter
with EN-, anyhow? l think they're i'm
mense.
DO you, really?" said Mrs. Jobson, in
a deprecatory sort Of tone, as If to imply
that MIR. Jobson's opinion about women s
spring hats didn't amount to much one
way or the other. You like them
II think that's what I said. or some
thing pretty close to.it,' said Mr.. Jobson.
They look greatfto me. There's swing,
dash, git-up to them"
But" said Mrs. Jobson. hesitatingly.
don't you think they are-er-rather-bi-
zarre, SO to speak?'
NO, l don't think they're bizarre, nor