davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
Mr.. Suffers Great Beat.

To the Hon. William Sulzer. trib-
iune of the people, incarnation of
the ambitions and aspirations OF
hhe lower East Side, statesman,
orator, and sole proprietor of the
greatest one-man fibuster on
earth, is due, it now appears, one
added distinction. Few men could
bear, as yet fewer could earn, the
multiplied honOrs which shower
themselves upon the Hon. Sulzer.
1t develops that it was Mr.. SuIzer
who turned the National Demo
cratic Club Of New York. willy nillv.
into a Bryan club. The club didn't
gust know it had been converted to
Bryan till it was all over; and when
at made the discovery it was far
from certain whether it was glad.
But everybody else was highly
pleased; Organizes, with the mar
vicious conversion. and ants, with
the manner of its accomplishment.
Mr.. Sulzer was asked to secure
speakers for the clubs banquet, to
be held April Is. The banquet was
designed by it's New York pro-
motors to be anti-Bryan, safe and
sane Maybe Mr.. Sulzer knew this;
maybe not; anyhow, he didn't say
anything. He rounded up a good
bunch of oratoricaI talent in Wash
lington, aud then wrote to the club
that, % course, the speakers
iwouldn't want to come unless Mr..
Bryan were invited He assumed
this little formality would be at
tended to.
Inasmuch as the dinner had first
been planned as a coming-out affair
for Governor johnson, and Gov
ernor Johnson would have been the
guest of honor and the star speaker
but for previous engagement. it
seemed tough not only to lose John
son, but to have to take on Bryan.
However. there was nothing else for
1t; Mr.. Bryan was invited to come
and eat Not to talk.
Mr.. Sulzer conveyed the invita-
tion, and it would seem that, with a
due regard for the Nebraskan's feel
ings, he omitted to mention that
Mr. Bryan would be expected to
keep still Mr.. Bryan accepted, and
named the subject on which he
would speak,
When this was conveyed to the
club program committee it created
CONSERVATION. Here was Bryan
actually coming in and capturing
the dinner planned for his undoing!
| What fearful blunderer this Sulzer
person was, TO be surel It was un-
} speakable, quite Of course, there
was no helping it now; the club
would have to look pleasant, grind
its teeth. and hear Mr.. Bryan talk
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
Second Harris Recital.

Leslie Harris. an entertainer Of some
repute abroad. made his first appear
ance in washington at the Columbia.
Theater last Tuesday afternoon. T. Ar
thur Smith. under whose direction Mr..
Harris is appearing in Washington, has
arranged for two more reCitals-Sundav
evenings. April 5 and p The same pro
gram. with but a few slight additional
features. win be used.
Mr.. Harris recital Tuesday was one
of the most delightful musical and
humorous entertainments offered here
this season Mr. Hs-ris is a master OF the
piano, and his character work was both
artistic and remarkably clever. proving
that he Is a capable actor as well as a
good musician
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
Coming to Theaters

Miss Marie Doro as a star IN The
Morals Of Marcus" viii be at the
New National Theater for one week
beginning Monday night, April 6.
Miss Doro has been before tSe public
only a few seasons, but in that time,
by her winsome personality, her quaint
methods, and her indispUtable histri-
onic talent she has endeared herself
70 a large proportion Of those who find
much OF their diversion IN the theater-
others in the cast are Miss Beatrice
Forbes Robertson a niece Of the dis
tInguished English actor, and Forrest
Robinson.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
German Trade and the Tariff.


The official figures on trade with
Germany, under the new customs
arrangement, are proving a hard
blow to the extreme protectionists
who were positive, when the deal
was negotiated, that it would be
disastrous to this country, and
would open the fioodgates for an
IinundatiOn of pauper-made goods,
while injuring our export trade.
Great stress was laid on the pre-
dictions of disaster. The high-tarifi
people were positive that this adj
ministrative agreement was the be-
ginning of series of insidious at
tacks on protection, which would
soon undermine the structure. The
critics of the new arrangement even
told the number of factories that
would be closed on account of this
arrangement, and found their sole
satisfaction in the prediction that
at any rate the results would be so
fearful that they would bring about
a reaction in favor of more string
ent enforcement of the very letter
Of Dingley schedules.
But the actual working of the
arrangement has been a painful
disappointment to forecasters of
disaster. Figures just issued on
the trade with Germany for eight
months ending with February, in
Guiding the period since the new
arrangement took effect, show a big
increase in exports to Germany. At
the same time there has been an
actual reduction in the amount of
''pauper-made" goods imported
from Germany, compared with pre-
vious years.
For the eight months. exports to
Germany were S212, 100000, against
SIS, 100000 for the like period of
the preceding year, and $4,000, 900
and S137, OOO,O 900, respectively, for the
two years before that. During the
same period, imports to Germany
were S1O3,OOO,OOO, compared with
S1O9, 100000 the preceding year.
Moreover, the first year under the
new arrangement is the first in a
long time in which there has been
a reduction in imports from Ger
many.
This arrangement was denounced,
at the time it was negotiated, as a
bit of denatured reciprocity; just
as much reciprocity as could be ar
ranged without having received the
consent of the Senate. 1t was de-
clared a vicious executive usurpa-
ton, an attempt to manipulate the
customs laws without the help Of
Congress. It was everything bad.
But the protectiOnist extremists
have had little to say of late about
German trade. The proof of the
pudding is in the eating; and this
German experience demonstrates
that nothing is so much needed to
improve the conditions of foreign
trade as more revision, moro mod
Grafton in duties.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
Story of Hearses and Bruised Hearts
Riches of Assembled Minds.

But the list got too long. It seemed
that in the legislative morgue there
were laid out half the riches OF the
minds Of the assembled statesmen Some
night in the near future. the authors OF
these dead ones viii creep from slab
70 slab. raising the sheet tenderIy and
viewing the almost forgotten lines Of
the measures they once wrote with en-
LhuSiaSm and hope Then they viii weep
and repine and shed a rear-aud the
committee, unmoved by their grief. viii
not even rattle a dry bone
But Judge jenkins and his commit 80
deny that the place is a mOrgue- They
say Il is ful Of hustle and activity 10 70
and ClamOrOUs with the cries of hoIes-
labor, ana that. In fact. they are all
as busy as the First Gravedigger j..
Hamlet"
Therefore, II was a matter Of regret
today that false rumOr and unkinI in
situation were so busy calling the Com
mittee on Judiciary a legislative mOrEue-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
wHERE THE AUDIENCE WENT.

An old fellow who ut one time kept
an east enc music hall went to Colonel
NIapleson for a professional pass for
the opera The colonel. having heard
OF the old man, honored the card.
"Ah colonel" said the old fellow, st
aillls cussas you when you shtarts your
opera season-you regular empties my
house"
'sTnat be hanged for a tale" LAUGHED
the colonel: "the villainous ruhians that
infest your den wouldn't be admitted
here. I can tell YOU.
Il don't say they would. colonel I
don't say they would" the old fellow
nurriedly expla' ned; but they're ali up
here lust the sans-you'u sec 'ein all
outside-picJSin' Bits.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

This Is an excellent time for labor
leaders and organizations TO make them
selves strong with the public by adopt
ing a policy Of Cancellation thar will
promote better business conditions in
stead Of tending to complicate them.
Likewise It is q proper juncture for en-
pIOyers OF labor 10 make every con-
cession to the necessity for keeping la
Dor at work.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

With colds caught from the treacherouz
breeze, We sneeze and sneeze.
We hear the voice OF birds. ami watch
We know from signs around US that the
seasons in
The signs that in large letters boom
spring medicine.
lazy feeling shows we have spring
We seek relief. and eager read fur
many an ad
That tells US where the best spring tonic
may be had.
Hand organs. wheezy notes are heard
throughout the land,
Also the drums and trombones o. the
Yes, Spring 5rt IS here, the tokens are on
Dew.
o, gentle Spring. thou draweth near
And bringeth Joy with tear
Our coal bill slowly dies death
The fceman comes and takes our breath.
we note the blooms through parks we
pass,
Also the sign Keep of the grass"
The birds will At and fly and sing
And beefsteak. too, gets on the wing.
We let in gentle breeze of nights
And hear the bowls OF catly fights.
We deck ourselves IN gaTOS OF note
Rut Uncle gets our overcoat.
o. gentle Spring. I here repeat,
Thou bringeth bitter with the sweet.
/ y. Hammer.
175s Columbia road.
Now peeps from out the ground
The pretty little crOCus;
And, as our eyes peer round
Tpon its face they focus
And early every morn
From his exalted locus
The clarion tones are born
Of quite another crOw-cuSs-
And also from the pond,
AS though he would invoke US,
The bullfrog is most fond
HIS evening hymn to croak us
EudoruS Q. Kenney.
1926 o street northwest
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
Mardi Gras Beauties.
California Girls. -

The California Girls company viii be-
gin their engagement with a matinee at
Lne New Lyceu1 Theater next week
rms company has a novel way Of pre-
senting program. There's not a wait
or stop IN the entire show The sDe-
cialties are said TO be al new and IN
to-date.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
aGoing Some Clming.

Going Some by Paul Armstrong and
Rex Beach, will be presented by Lie
bier & Co. at the Belasco Theater the
week Of April 6, and IS a comedy Of
Western life.
The play has been staged by George
Marion. who is also a member Of the
cast. which includes: James E Sullivan.
Richard Bennett. Howard EsterbrOCk.
Gretchen Dale, Molly Brady, and Carrie
REYNOLDS
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

1t is fair to assume that in about the
same proportion that Congress cuts
down Mr. Harriman's claim for services
IN damming the Colorado river. that dis
tipguished campaign financier will be
disposed TO prune his contributions to
the next campaign.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

about 'The Limit" or something or
other-appropriate subject!
When they find out. over at New
York, whether the Hon. William
Sulzer is frightfully stupid or just
naturally smart, they viii know
more about just how mad they are.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
Vaudeville at Chase,s.

Chase's next week will present an
array Of attractions. including W. H.
Thompson and company, in ''F'e= Loves
Sweet Sake" Eugene Jepson and com
pany, in George AIDES comedy, entitled
''The Mayor and the Manicure" and
other interesting features.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
"The Clansman."

THE Clansman" viii close it's third
successful tour Of the South next week,
at the Columbia Theater, and after that
bott. Southern folk and other admirers
of me Reconstruction drama viii not
have another opportunity to view it for
several years to come. Already re-
hearsals are in progress for the revised
version of THE Clansman" which viii
be nresented abroad.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
A MIsUNDERSTANDING.

This Is the chicken salad" said the
caterers boy. as he delivered the pack
age guess IL was your husband that
ordered II sent, ma am"
Yes, said little Mrs. Bridey, Here's
your money Now, how do you make
%! don't know anything a5OCc that.
nta'am."
You don't? Why. my husband told
me II paid you you'd give me the re-
ceipt Exchange.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
Final Chafee Art Tall.

Paris and the Louvre viii be the
subject OF the last art talk ir the Sc
ries being conducted by Mrs kIbert H
Chaffee in the ballroom Of th- Shore
ham Hotel T Arthur Smith. - 141 T
street, VIII sell the tickets
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
Blaney Coming Back.

Harry Clay Blaney. as Willie Live,
the Boy Detective viii be the next
attraction at the New Academy. begin
ming Monday night next Mr.. Blaney
win be assisted by Eztss Kitty Wolf,
the little soubrette. who has become
as popular in this style Of plays as AR
Blsney. They viii Introduce several
specialtfes-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

As to the political significance Of the
Massachusetts, primaries. everything de-
Ponds on who Is telling It. Plainly
however, it is that Taft is either over
whelmiugly nominated or hopelessIy de-
feated
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

The Kaiser's letter to Lord Tweed
mouth having been made public, inter
national comfy seems TO require that
equal consideration be shown the Amer
lean public by letting it know what his
majesty really said about DR.. Hill.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

OF the present season, Will be the offer
ing at the Majestic next week Il IS
said a carload OF special scenery VIII
ne used, and high-Class vaudeville acts
Will be introduced during the perform
auCe.
Mardi Gras Beauties.
Those who attend the Ma-di Gras
Beauties company performances at the
Gayety Theater next week may be the
gamer for Il financially. for Harry
song entitled. Money" in which he
throws money at the audience. Some is
stage money and a few are real.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

The muck-rakers OF the House Judic-
larry Committee ought to send that body
an engrossed copy Of their most abJect
apologies. 1t has reported a bill: bill
that ought TO have been reported, too.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

Maybe the fact that Mr.. Purdy IS a
specialist in the prosecution of trusts,
which are shortly TO be converted and
put beyond the need Of prosecution, &C.
counts for his failure to land that judge
shin.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

The news reports from Haiti indi-
Gates that the town of Brownsville, now
in Texas, L. 9 A. ought to be annexed
to that troublesome island and made
the canital
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
SPRING POEM CONTEST

Good poems and bad
difference after all Scores of
mails Spring Keep up
author OF the spring will
the printed day. Here are
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

Congressman Campbell really ought to
have consulted with Senator Martin. and
included bridge whist among the pro-
hIbitions of his bill for the suppression
OF gambling in the District.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

The Hon. Edwin DENLY, in his obser-
walton that anyhow we need men with
brains. not millions. In the high posts OF
the diplomatic service, appears TO have
located accurately the head Of the nail,
and then to have landed on it.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

The publicity Of campaign contribu-
lions is Ike the tariff revision issue in
that everybody IS now in favor OF 1t
after the next election
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
FANCYS FALSEHOCDS FLY
TOSHLNG TUDGE JENKINS,
BOSS BURYLNG BEST Bills
Littlefield Measure Lies in
Vault No. q of
Morgue.
Bloom of Craftsmanship
Withered by Chambers
SepUlclral Air.

Up and down the corridors OF the
Capitol there flies today a false rumor,
and through the cloakrOoms there
taSaes the Tapier Of Unliud insInuatiol
And Judge John J. jenkins, chairman
OF the House Committed ca judiciary.
hears the huttering OF rumOr's wings
and catches now and thea the CLINT
from the flashing rapier. But that the
rumor IS false and the insinuatiOn IN
founded, IS Contended by Judge jenkins
The story goes that the Speaker con
SIDES the Committee on judiciary as
his own personally conducted lcgisIa-
tive mOrsue. where he can bury any
bill he wishes And the insinuation is,
that the committee being a m0rgue,
its chairman. Judge jenkins, IS the
keeper OF the m0rsue-
Sepulchral Chamber.
To the runaor are attached glowing
details and funereaI figures OF speech
The rooms Of the committee ere pic
tUred as nung in Respondent black and
suffused with somber gloom. and the
atmosphere IS said 70 De Of such a
deadly nature that a brand new bin,
hurled JhrOus-i. the door, shriveIs Up
AID begs - d put In its own paruicu-
lar vault II T. further explained that
a measure, however alive II may Do,
hits the floor OF the room with q IhUd
that echoes and re-echOes throug the
room, finally assuming the sound Of
dead"
From the story & may be inferred
that Judge jenkins. Judge Clayton. Mr.
Diekema, and their fellows sit IN sable
sadness, towering In grand and gOr-
EeOus grief above 2 deld OruaMenred
with graves and vaults and monuments
Instead OF writing reports on bills. they
InsCribe epitaphs. and, for mental di-
version they check or on their fingers
the titles CT bills killed during the past
week.
Story Of Hearses and Bruised Hearts.
II Is a gloomy story. dealing entirely
with hearses, tears, and bruised hearts
\ member Of the House asked today:
What has become Of the Hepburn
bin TO amend the Sherman antitrust
iaw2''
Another replied Il don't know the
number OF It's vault in the rooms OF the
Judiciary Committee"
Where is the Littlefeld liquor bill2''
asked another.
Its number IS O. replied the gentle
man who seemed 10 have taken q
mOurnful amble along the monumental
aisIes OF the legislative burying ground
And tho bill for an Appalachian for
est reserye2' pursued this quesIiOner-
That was cremated, was the in
formation vOuchsafed-
And the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

Those Philadelphia young people who
were married at the top OF the Wash
ington Monument had a prompt come
SoYn Ii tie TorId.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02
leHer Mad Marriape. p

Her Mad Marriage said to be one
o. the very best detective melodramas
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-02

What does It mean,
When all is green,
And BIRDS begin to sing,
And hearts grow light,
And all is bright?
What can It be but SPRING.
When sleet and snow,
Both have to go,
Until another year
And all rejoice,
In one loud voice,
Because the Spring Is here.
And yet sometimes.
These merry chimes,
Are sung too sooa for SPRING.
Again it's cool
Springs April fool
And out come winter things.
Miss Louise Alderman.
B street northwest.
The soft and balmy airs Of spring
sweep through the trees;
In soft and clammy mud we sink up to
the knees
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-09-27
NEW COUNTRY CLUB
HOUSE IS OPENED
Golf Enthusiasts Receive
Friends in Caddy House
on Virginia Shore.

The Informal opening and reception
OF the washington Country GLIB yester-
day was well attended by the members,
their friends, and those Interested in
tho club, despite the decidedly Scotch
weather that prevailed
Congratulations and light refresh
ments IN the cozily appointed rooms Of
the 'caddy house were the order OF
the afternoon, a1d those who saw the
clubhouse and the links for the first
time expressed their admiration for this
beautiful green and the view IL gives
OF the surrounding country
The club IS situated on the AIexan-
dria and Chain Bridge road. on an az
mirably chosen bit of rising ground near
Jewell station, on the Great Falls and
Old Dominion railway line. Chevy
Chase Club can be discerned in the dis
tance, while the Soldiers Home. George
town University, and the Union Station
can be seen plainly beyond the sur
rounding hills.
The president Of the club is J. Taber
Johnson. A. Colt Yates is vice presi-
dent; Frank Upman, secretary. and +.
Wiley steans. treasurer. At present
the club has a membership of 100.
The golf course has been laid out
only temporarily. and at present con
sists Of nine holes The starting point
is near the "caddy house" and the
holes are laid Of as follows: First hole.
235 yards; second, 49, yards. third. $50
yards; fourth, 1S3 yards: NTH, S33 yards;
sixth, go yards; seventh, 100 yards:
eighth. 135 yards. and ninth. $50 yards
All Of the short holes are provided
with special obstacles or hazards. %"
present a sporty one.
AS soon as practicable the members
VIII build fine. large clubhouse about
fifty yards from the location of the
"Caddy house"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-09-27
SAYS KAISER SEEKS
WAR WITH AMERICA
English Journalist Thinks
Brazil Will Provide
Cause for Action.

LONDON. Sept 25-Edgar wallace
thinks Germany is getting ready 70 fight
the United States.
Wallace is an English newspaper man,
with good deal of a reputation as a
judge Of international politics. It's nee
essary to mention this, because he puts
his prediction in the mouth of an I'M
named ambassador, and the interview,
being with a straw man" wouldn't be
worth much except that Edgar stands
for It"
II appeared in the last issue Of the
London Sunday Chronicle. Here IS the
essence Of it:
War with Germany said the am
bassador. Why, yes; somebody has got
to be- the victim; but I could not mag
inc it would be England
Wars are not always waged for
gain. 1t is only after a war is over,
and the peoples of both countries are
face TO face with an enormous war bill
that the politicians point out the gain.
just as Il huCkster. having wheedled a
dupe into purchasing worthless article,
points out it's marvellous qualities. lest
the Disguised purchaser demand MS
money back.
What did America gain by ner war
with Spain, or Turkey with Greece. or
France and England with Russia? Why
did France and Germany fEht-for Al
Sace2 Alsace was an afterthOught
Germany is aTming with a definite
object, and that object an expansion OF
territory.
Against whom is she armIng2'' in
qulred Edgar at this point
Then he goes on quoting the straw
ambassador" again:
America. Have YOU heard of the
Monroe dOctrine2 Suppose that at some
future date Brazil prOclaims itself a
German colony and demands imperial
support and recognition.
Imagine the indignation at Wash
lngton. the passing Of diplomatic notes
the dispatch Of kilograms. the scare
heads Of the yellow press and the hasty
mobilization of the fleet
In 1890 the population OF Brazil was
roughly $3.50, 0o0 I refer TO the white
or nearly white population. or this the
German population is 100000
Germany wants a new colony and
she wants il badly There IS nothing
she can wrest from England one-half so
desirable as the colony already occupied
oy so many OF her subjects. Some day
the German eagle win nest officially in
Brazil In the meantime. Germany will
so on building Drea6nOughts.' .