Cañon City record., 1908-03-19
GANDERB0nE's
MARCH FORECASTS

When Caesars blood was let
The foes OF Bryan will hide out
Behind the parapet
And when he sees them lurking there.
He'll guess their fell intent
And run just like his friends all hope
He'll run for president.
The candidates Republican will pass
the stand again. and the portly form
of Mr.. TAFT will show . handsome
gain; the whiskerettes Of Mr.. Hughes
will noat upon the breese. the feet
that sailed Magellan's straits will
cruise the western seas: the infant
boom of Cortslyou will grimly yield
the ghost. and the feet will run the
banquets on the other Latin coast
Another lot OF foreign counts. and
busted sports and old. will come
across to marry more of our easy
gold; a count will marry a million
cool. and Q dis count two. or three.
and gold and girl land horse laugh
loud) they'll all put out to sea; and
while the Goulds give Boni one-just
one-more chance, alack. we'll all
steal OF and kick ourselves quite low
down on the back.
The country papers will get used
To Uncle Sans mandate
That they may not hold readers who
Are not paid up to date;
But the government will not assist
At squaring things somehow.
with old subscribers made 90 mad
They never will pay now.
March was the first month OF the
Roman year. and was named from
Mars. the god Of war. Mars looked
like a twin brother to Richard p. Hob
son, and he was the regular Roman
delegate to the Peace Conference at
The Hague. He was supposed to be
the father OF Romulus, the founder OF
Rome, but he was not; he was only
the young mans godfather. In an
cient warfare 1t was customary to
place a good bronze bust OF Mars on
the field and then fight for 1t.
The comedy OF life will be about
what It has been-the men will labor
day and night and the wives OF men
will spin. They'll have club for
ayar,, .yay .uA naver coosa IN m.
they'll learn to talk Of many themes
their husbands do not know; they'll
hear lecturer from Greece. another
on Japan, another on the renaissance.
and several on man; they'll hire lot
OF long-haired freaks to make them
erudite. they'll work on papers every
morn, and look up things at night;
and their husbands will get supper
cold and suffer ridicule-and the chill
dren will grow up like wolves, while
mamma goes to school.
The money indiscreetly loaned
VIII faithfully keep lent.
And lady teacher will sit on
The pin when 1t Is bent:
But when the principal responds
To screams heard through the house
She'll not tell him what happened. but
viii say she saw mouse.
Until the 21st, March will be under
the influence of the zodiacal sign
known as Pisces. the Fish. Pisces
will induce his relative. Stuyvesant
Fish, to take the Illinois Central fight
in to the United States supreme court.
where r. H. Hartman will'be ditched
with two bum lamps, -derailed back
bone, and swift kick in the caboose.
After the 21st. March Will be under
the influence of Aries. the sign OF
the Head Under this sign, old heads
will come TO the front in the prcsi
Dental race. and Uncle Joe Cannon
will come out of the last place and
make the president put two more
burrs in the spacious bosom OF Mr..
Tafts pants.
Persons born under Pisces drink
like fish and vote wet. They make
excellent subordlnates, Ike Friday
and Loeb. They can say no, and IL is
futile TO expose them TO any more life
insurance, for they won't take II. They
are very cautious, and always take
seats near the fire escape.
Persons born under Aries always