davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

lie DUKE and the STrTo1n.
ut is a mistake" said Otto Z.
Schaar, the president of the New York
Walters club. Ito think that an Eng
lishman always wants his beef oxccs-
sively rare AS matter of fact the
English like their beef better done
than we do.
II once saw a waiter" he continued,
serve an English duke with a cut of
livery, very rare sirloin.
THE duke looked closely at the slice
of bright red meat. Then he said:
Waiter. just send for the butcher,
will your
1.-The butcher sir?' the waiter STAN
mered.
Yes said the duke This beet
doesn seem to be quite dead yet"
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

tiny four-ycar-old was spending a
night away from home. Al bedtime
she lnelt at the knee of her hostess to
say her prayers. expecting the usual
prompting. Finding Mrs. b unable to
help her out, she concluded thus:
please. God. 'scuse me. l can't re-
member my prayers. and I'm staying
with lady who don't know any
Homo IIcl aid
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
A Martinez.

"a martinez" said Gen. F. D. Grant
at Memorial bay banquet. lis gen
orally fool.
"They tell story OF a martinez of
the Civil War. a captain. He got or
ders from headquarters that his men
were to change their undershirts.
But Captain said sergeant to
whom this order was communicated.
the men have only one undershirt
each
The captain frowncd. then he said:
No matter. Military commands
must be obeyed. Let tho men change
undershirts with each other.'"
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

The fox that Aesop made looked
up at the grapes.
Grapes souri," hooted the old owl
far up in the vines.
They may be-" yawned the fox. In
differently, "or they may be preserved
sweet by some chemical process. You
know the pure food laws are not as
strict as they might be. Anyway. I
don't care for them because I am
afraid of appendicitis
And sly Reynard darted away to en-
Joy the sport of fox hunt
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
Only for Heaven.

Mother-Just run up stairs, Tommy,
and fetch baby's night gown.
Tommy-Don't want to.
Mother-Oh, well, II you're going to
be unkind TO your new little sister
she'll put on her wings and ny back
again to heaven.
Tommy-Then lot her put on her
wings and fetch her nJshtgown.-
Punch.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

Mrs. Pinkham, OF the Lydia f.
Pinkham Medicine Company of Lynn.
Mass, together with her son, Arthur
w. Pinkham, and the younger mem
bers of her family, sailed for Naples
on May goth for a three months tour
throughout Europe and a much needed
vacation"
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

There was one good thing about
Adam and Eve"
What was that"
when they were in Eden they did
not send out any souvenir postals."
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
We Cannot.

"If we give women votes, will they
want to run for all all the offices?"
81 don't think so. Can you imagine
n woman setting up the ice cream So
das for people not even in her set?"
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
A Good Guess.

He: II see fishhooks have been
made on precisely the same designs for
1000 years."
She: well, fish lies havn't changed
much in that time, either, l guess
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
His Kick.

"Too bad." exclaimed the little pig,
"They didn't build me right,
And make my stomach Just as big
AS is my appetite"
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

of the neighborhood and succeeded in
locating and killing the mate of the
first snake.-Oil City Derrick.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

When you are willing to go in debt
for things you don't need. just be-
cause your neighbor has them, it's
time stop.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

Nov remember" said the barrister
to an Irish witness. that you have
sworn to tell the truth. the whole truth
and nothing but the truth"
Yes sorr.; III do the best can. But
hope tn gintlemin of the jury will be
a trifie aisy on me at the start. for I'm
little nsed to that sort OF spalIing.''-
Philadelphia Enquirer.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

Many a man who knows himself
hasn't any cause to boast Of the &C.
quaintance.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
The Reason.

She-Poor fellow! Only one eye.
How came you to lose the other?
Tfamp-Looking for work. mum.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

After suffering for seven years,
this woman was restored to health
by Lydia f. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound. Read her letter.
Mrs. Sallie French, of Paucaunla,
Ind. Ter, writes to Mrs. Pinkham:
~ had female troubles for seven
years. was all rundown, and so ner-
vous I could not do anything. The
doctors treated me for different troubles
but did me no good. While in this con-
dition wrote to Mrs. Pinkham for adj
vice and took Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound, and am now strong
and WELL"
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
Absurd All Around.

WpSUTu HI NTuunu.
who is the old file over there with
the comic coat. the stovepipe hat, and
the baggy kneed trousers?"
That's the professor who is lee
turing on the absurdities of woman's
dress!"
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that 1t
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.

For thirty years Lydia Il. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been tho
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousands of
women who have been troubled with
displacements, inflammation, ulcera-
ton, fibroid tumors, Irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bear
ing-down feeling, flatulency, indiges-
ton, dizziness, ornervous prostratiOn.
Why don't you try itp
Don't hesitate to write to Mrs.
Pinkham II there Is anything
about your sickness you do mot
understand. She will treat your
letter incOnfidence and advise you
free. No woman ever regretted
writing her, and because of her
vast experience she has helped
thousands. Address, Lynn, Mass.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

It is good plan to train the colts
to stay In the barn or pasture while
the mares are at work. 1t is simply a
matter Of education. Shut them in a
roomy box stall at first until they be-
come accustomed to having the mare
go out without them. 1t will not take
the colt long to become reconciled to
a separation of half day at a time,
and 1t will be good deal better for
the mare and the colt, as well as for
the temper of the farmer.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

1t is the business of the bees to
gather honey. and they will suck the
juices Of fruits and flowers wherever
found. but careful observation has
proved that they do not puncture fruit
for the purpose of getting at the Juice
Such injury to fruit is caused by other
insects and birds. the bees only TAX
ing what has been made easily acces-
sible to them.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

The results OF the recent testing OF
Dolly Dimple. the two-year-old Guern-
sey COW by the Massachusetts, Agri-
cultural college, make interesting
reading for the dairy farmer. The
test began March 9. 1907, and ended
March %, 1908. During this period
the heifer gave 14.0O9.13 pounds OF
milk with an average fat percentage
of So, making a total of 703.36 pounds
of butter fat, equivalent to $50. SO
pounds of butter. This is remarkable
performance for a twoyear-old heifer,
and excels the previous record for a
two-year-old by over 100 pounds OF
butter fat and over $500 pounds OF
milk.
As an outgrowth of the conference
at Rome in May, 1905. 1t has been de-
cided to organize an international
farmers institute, the plans to be
ratified at a meeting to be held at
Rome in the autumn of this year. The
scope of the new organization will be
worldwide, geographically. and will
embrace everything connected with
the growth, harvesting, marketing and
transportation of whatever is pro-
duced by the soil. Some of the things
which it will undertake are the Sc
curing and dissemination of more
widespread and accurate weather re-
ports, and better estimates of the ef-
feet Of the weather on growing crops /;
the simultaneous publication of world
crop news and prices current; the
elimination of famine districts; the
cost of transportation; the assimiIa
ton Of weishts and measures.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
The N. J.O'FALlON SUPPLY co
WHOLESALE
Plumbing and Steam Goods

Boilers and radiators for heating resids noes
and public buildings. Genera! steam and Wa
ns norkin sufP MP snwer pipe cem.nt
garden hose. IRE hose. etc. Inquire for our
rpeciai ripe cutting tools. write for general
Information. OFFICE. 1918 WYEKOoP ST.
DENVER. COLORADO.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

President Roosevelt has under con-
sideration the appointment of COM
mission to make thorough study of
rural social ecoonmy, the probable
members of the commission to be
Prof. A. A. Noyes. acting president of
the Massachusetts Institute of Technol-
ogy, and Clifford Pinchot, chief for
ester of the United States. 1t is said
the president has been thinking about
this matter since he made his speech
at the semicentennial celebration of
the founding of agricultural colleges
In the United States at Lansing,
Mich, a year ago. His investigations
convinced him that the educational
system in use has been lacking on the
side of industrial training for the
shop and farm.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

Here is the report of a single days
receipts of the Union stock yards, Chi
cago: Thirty-three thousand five hun
dred and one cattle, 1903 calves. ST.
716 hogs. 26.999 sheep. and 1888 horses
or a total of 150,357 animals in 1888
cars, thus breaking the previous rec
ord of hog receipts and total number
of animals received. A fourth of this
product was sold ond shipped east,
and the entire receipts were sold on
the day of arrival. Apparently all
country roads lead to Chicago.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

Fight the weeds. whether in the
corn field. the potato patch or the
garden. When doing so the question
often arises in impatience: Where
do all the pesky weeds come from?
Perhaps you might be able to answer
that question in part. One source is
the careless farmer-of course, you
are not such a one-who neglects to
NOV the weeds before the seeds ripen,
and the wind carries them to other
farms where the owners are trying to
keep their farms free from these
pests.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

A witty agricultural expert who
does not believe in the dual purpose
COW suggests that when Burbank can
grow an apple that is sweet on one
side and sour on the other. there will
be real announcement for the dual
purpose breeder who is trying to pro-
duce COW that will give milk on one
side and make beef on the other.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

What can be done in the improve
ment of dairy herd has been demon
strated by a Michigan dairyman who
began in 1884 with eight COWS with an
average butter production OF 1856
pounds. In 1906. "a head OF COWS av-
eraged 375 pounds OF butter. No regis
tered cows were kept. but good pure
bred bulls were purchased and used
as long as serviceable. The choice
heifer calves were saved and the i'm
provement has been sure and profit
able.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

Milk rich in cream means butter.
rich in casein means much protein
good for calf and hog feeding and
for cheese making. 1t is not often
that a milk is found which is rich
in both these elements. Pick the
breed Of COW which will most nearly
meet your needs.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

Instead of using the term breaking
in connection with the horse that is
being put to harness for the first time
or the heifer being MIXED for the
first time. why not the word training
Breaking is too suggestive of vio-
lence.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
MILL 80 nrMocaAra rAInk
Mixed Advice That is Sent 70 the
East from Denver

Advice that comes from Denver
with the weight OF expert authority
conveys DtiKcd information % the
Democrat, 10 have been chenshlng
expectations a high time AZ the
Democratic tOnni convention. Two
former pennA. Democrats now
occupying omch- places IN that city
send this cogent warming;
Delegates should remember that
the city Is a mile up In the air-thai
"a. 5.2so feet above the sea level.
that they should not chase The car.
should not become excited on be un.
duly active. and that two drinks o.
whisky VIII light them MP as much
as nine On another atmosphere. in
other words. this high altitude con.
tributes 10 quick heart action-a
pumping heart, as q Be called-and
Denver's rarehed atmosphere demands
on the part Of aliens conservative
movements, little or no exhilaration.
w%holesomely quiet thought and &C
ton. and especially the minimum Of
stimulauts, alcoholic and nicotine.
As 10 the most salient point On this
advice It may be written down as
good OF bad. according 90 individual
views. Some appalling reports are
abroad as 10 the scale OF charges
that Is likely to prevail AZ Denver
hotels But Il two drinks Of whisky
IN Denver viii do the work Of nine in
the more sluggish atmosphere OF New
York or Pittsburg the Democrats may
think that the cost Of nominating
Bryan win be much reduced. But
what n the Denver saloonkeepers
should adopt the corporate principle
OF value OF service and charge as
much FOR two drinks as the nine
would cost on the lowlands2
But when Democratic authority pre-
scTibos quiet thought and action
conservative movements and no ex.
hilaration FOR a Democratic national
convention 81 introduces the irrecon.
cilsble How could Bryan have ever
been nominated by the Crown Of
On that regime? True. he may not
need that |hullabaloo 20 get the nomi
nation this time. But quiet thought
over the nomination OF a Democratic
candidate who has So the past achieved
the revolution OF getting a Republican
senator elected from Kentucky is cal
culated 10 produce chlliness IN the
Democratic extremities-Pittsburl
Dispatch.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
Danger Of B~ryaalsm.

Republican campaign provision a
not safely stop with the Democratic
pariys defined strength or with a
count % the states which Mr. Bryan
aid not carry IN his two presidential
efforts This year there is a difference
which wcakcns the force OF old igur
ing An the disseminated elements
all the loosely attached elements and
an the Republican stay-athome Gle
ments.uro 90 De considered as possible
Democrats Il is not 90 be forgotten thai
each of the Bryan propositions how
cycr chimedcal q may be In the jude
ment of the wen Informed. has a Ger
tain attraction for voting masses, and
has been advanced with a not wholly
lusi0ncd view 10 that practical, q
temporary, political effect Popular
faith in settled forms and principles
81 government is always shaken 90
times of sluEsiah Industry 30 man
ia able 90 prophecy how far even
r-rconbacbism viii b. accepted by
the spirit OF anything fora-chanEc"
which win be present during the com
Ing campaign
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
esmIna 20 the Front

The close approach of a protective
tariH system for Great Britain has
brought a uew condition 60 the notice
Of use public ovor there. and Sc may
havs a positive effect on the United
Sta.cs An Engliah trade paper r.
pets that q company manufacturinR
. popular safety razor in the United
States is planning go establish a fac
tors 90 England, b. conform with a
British patent lsw which provides that
certain portions OF patented articles
offered for sale there must be manu-
featured on English soil The ma.
chinery Is being imported from Amer
lea but the work Is TO be done By
British subjects That may be cx
pected OF other industries II the old
free trade country goes into prutec
tive taFih, a. Il has the appearance OF
doing now more than ever for years
The protective politicians ara coming
=. The front rapidly Worcester rsle
gram.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
American FeedstuHs Abroad.

What we want said the president
Of the American Reciprocal Tariff
league "Is such commercial relations
as VIII enable western farmers 60 sup.
ply food prodacts 10 the millions Of
Europe Both Germany and France
are ready 10 do business with as upon
this proposition" Well. are not west
crn farmers already supplying fool
products 70 the millions 81 Europe2
Il must Dee that they are, for our sur.
rins food products are finding FOR.
cign markets a. the rate OF nearly
$500. 100000 a year. Mos, o. them
10 TO Europe Certainly none % the
surplus stays Al home There IS no
glut in the American market France
aud Germany are already taking their
share They might take more. per
hapE % their own food producers Ola
not Insist upon FIRST marketing az
home st high prices alI that they have
10 sen u is doubtful that the agra
rian or land owning Interests Of Ger.
many and France will consent 20 have
the tariff bars removed eve though
German and French manufacturers
-houid thereby be- enabled % swamp
the American market with their
products The plea Tor largor markets
for American foodstuns Is mostly q
fraud and a snare
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
CLIMATE IS IDEAL
GREAT WEALTH ACQUIRED m
GROWING GRAIN.

Writing from Saskatoon, saskaiche
wan. Canada. vs.. "a. Ellwnngor, who
lei Formerly a resident Of Green
Mountain, Iowa. says. The climate
IN summer IS ideal Tor growing grain,
Long. clear days OF sunshine. no bad
storms. We never need to guard
against cyclones ! ove saw a better
climate IN my NE We made more
money during the season OF 1906 than
any previous five years IN central
iowa-One OF the best districts in the
state" nut Mr.. E%ilwanEer was a resi-
dent Of the town. aud Il might be more
interesting to read what a farmer has
TO say about Western Canada. From
hundreds OF letters an filled with
words Of praise. %recouuilng success 30
Western Canada there has been ono
selected. IL IS as follows;
PayntOn. Sask. Canada,
Dec. 10th. 1907.
To Whom This May Concern:
! moved 20 this address February 9
1907. from Montgomery. Iowa. and
took a homestead 80 miles north Of
Paynton. II was cold when / moved
here but 50 did not stay cold long: q
broke up the Sth Of February. and was
not SO cold after that but the spring
was late on account OF the heavy snow
fan, but IN spite OF the late spring ]
saw better grain than ] ever saw 10
the states. raised this year. / helped
a man finish sowing bats the 4th Of
July and they made fair oats. la Q
good year oats win go 100 bushels &c
the acre and wheat Is 20 30: al root
crops do weil here Isaw turulps weigh
z and s pounds I raised potatoes this
year that measured Ilk inches
one way and 1919 The other On cir.
cumfcrcncc. This JIG a hno stock coun.
try; hay in abundance. good water.
plenty uf fuel. free and plenty %
building mategial-the government
gives us timber 10 saw into lumber
and we can get o. sawed for about
$500 per thousand. An small fruit
grows Wild here. then there are ducks.
geese. grouse. phcasauJs. deer moose.
elk and hsh in abundance. z was over
10 Turtle Lake yesterday where there
Is lots OF fishing being done this win.
ter ] saw about a carload OF white
fish IN one pile. ] gave % cents Tor
Sc pounds Of FISH. What do you think
Of that, Brother Yankee? ] think this
Is a fine place both 20 make money
and 10 live. There was an old man up
here visiting his brotbcr-inIaw Now
this man owns land close Q % Dos
Moines. Iowa. and Is In good circum.
stances. but he took a homestead and
says he will be c|outented II ne can
only pat in the rest OF his DAYS la
Canada lie would get up IN the morn.
and look out Of the door and say;
We'll. who wouldn't I've IN Cansdas
Now I have been 10 Is different states
Ia tho United States. and z newer saw
the chance that there ls here for a
man thst has q little mnsclc and a
little brains. Three cheers Tor Cana,
d. tSiuHIl
~ A. SPICE"
This IS the temperature Through
November. I took it myself 80 /
know 90 Is right IN the shade:
AilrHIne az
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
500 Reward. 500.

The readers af thif paFsf sl o. blessed 81 Iazra
that there De- af leasl one arraifa aiFae ihai seienra
tas nrgn etin % ears o. az ne tttEta Esd uat Be-
lafaffA NaIla lhiaffN Care a. sac cay p1tilFa
Eafa hHH kaaun tn tAo nadira fnatenuitl. latarrh
tfiaa 8 nauatiiatHra diHraar Hcanlfes 3 sasita.
uuua tfeafHFat uafa Natafrh NarE q taxes d.
tdfaaNYs srtuE ausNf SPA go hief nH1 uaEtaa
~earfatns 20 fhf tfttru. NhrfrfT arffurinE re
faanaati1a q ffe dirrasr aaa aifiaH taa paIifnt
atfaHatN hI NHNIuH 90 fna nHnatftaftaa aud aaart
tnE naiuru d 1aHaa Na aara The prsrralHn Save
- muga fath o. ia rafauFr pauunf tEst theF afrr
Nan Hunarca NnllAff rlf ems eaFe tnat W falH %
caff hcnd Gov ftt af trafimauikr
Aaigaf = CHENEY aCua fascda. O.
sold PSI Ell NrHE1t9fa Hfs
10 M. Iall y -. a. n..nLa.l...
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
Result of gunner Growth.

Reccntiy a livery hrm IA a southern
town built q onc-stoy frame addition
20 its stable for the accommodation Of
wagons, etc Jerry, the uight watch
man. whose long service has con
WINGED him that be is part proprietor
az the concern was overheard explain.
tag the matter 20 a couple % inmates
IN this wise.
"Yes. our business done c~oncrcaaet
so dat we'E been Obliged to build dia
hyar substantial IA De rcahl"
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
An OFark Forest Resen.r


Butte. Mout-onc OF the most els.
trous fires Ga the history 90 eastern
Montana Friday wiped out three.
fourths OF the town Of mtg Timber.
about a hundred and nifty miles east
az this city. ON the Northern PaciGc
railroad Three hundred families are
are rendered homeless and the loss is
estimated % than four hundred
thousand dollars.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
HOW TO KNOW Pure pAiwr.
4 wsy IN which u My 81 lesauass
Esfors Using.

After a building has been painted
tong enough Tor q weather test u lg
easy % self n TIE paint used vas made
81 pure White Lead or not But such
related knowledge comes like locking
The barn after TIE colt - Efoien
What one wants "a a test that viii
tell the quality of fhc paint before o.
End the labor % putting g on are
paid for.
Nature has provided a way ir which
genuine White Lad may D. positive
ly distinguishes from hduiieiated a.
fake White Lead before sou 1pen8 3
cent on your painting
Pure Waite Lead is made from me-
talic lead and. Under infcnse heat
such as is produced by a blow pipe
pure White Lead wllresoiy8ltseif back
into metallic lead. o. however 81 -
not genuine white Lead. or IL Il con
tains the slightest trace Of adultera-
ton, the change Wili not take place.
Therefore the -bloW-pipe test IS an
absolute and final one.
The National Lead Company are
urging everyone interested In painting
70 make this test Of paint before usiug
H. and they guarantee that the Pure
White Lead sold under their Dutch
Boy Painter trademark viii always
prove absolutely pure under the blow.
pipe or any other test. To make &
easy for you 20 perform the expert
ment they viii send you free upon re-
quest a hlow-pipe and everything nee
eEsary for You 70 make the test, 70
gether with a valuable booklet on
paint Address. National Lead Com.
pany. Woodbridge Building. New YORK
I City.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19

Washington. b. C-The bin 20 r..
qulre the transportation Of materials
and supplies 10 be- used in the con.
s%iructton OF the Panama canal On ships
Of American register was passed hy
the senate Friday, As amended the
bin cXempts from the restrictions
ports Ia which 10 American vessels
are 20 be secured FOR shipping goods.
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
Wants congrels 10 InvsalI0ats.

Washington. ID C-Reprosentauve
Scott OF Kansas, who Is the chairman
OF the house committee on agricul
tare, Thursday introduced a resolution
providing for an Investigation by the
government as 20 the causes % the
fluctuations IN the price OF wheat. corn
and ether grains
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
The only Way.

Cassidy-Ahi well. no van Ain pre-
vlnt watts past an gone.
Cascy-Yo could II SO only acted
quick enough.
Cassldy-Go long. mani How
could yerG
Caaey-stop Il before It happens
Philadelphia Press
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19

Bcrlin-A minor court In Berlin has
Just decided that Sc IS o gross misde-
meanoy 10 shout IN the open streets
"Hurrah Tor Universal suffrage
The Rich Hill tribune. (Rich Hill, Mo.) 1903-1911, 1908-03-19
a - 80 -, Rnhh.a

oklahomR city. Ok-Iho Missouri
Kansas a Texas railway ticket once
Faa entered early Thursday ana he
cash drawer robbed OF sso