The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-29
BowsER TENTS OUT.
But the Experiment Had Disad-
vantageS.

eApI wagon brought small tent
10 the mouse and, of course, Mrs. Bow
| ser was all agog to know what was
| going to happen. She had made up
her mind that Mr.. Bowser was going
| to take her to the seashore or the
woods and was looking to see what
| old dresses she could wear when he
arrived home. When asked about the
tent he replied:
MRS. Bowser, have you ever heard
OF Professor Baumgarten, the celebra-
| ted scientist?"
| Il don't remember"
He is the man who discovered that
there was an electric current passing
through the earth from darkness to
| sunrise, and that the said current was
beneficial to many human complaints
but you have no human COM
plants"
That's all you know about it. Be
| cause I'm not complaining every few
minutes you think nothing ails me. I
i had little time this afternoon, and /
wrote down a few of my ailments in
! this form. There they are"
And he handed her a paper with the
! following record nicely drawn up and
| typewriter:
Asthma. Lumbago. Heartburn.
| Dyspepsia. Liver comp. Catarrh,
| Flatulency.
Its all nonsense!" exclaimed Mrs.
! Bowser after reading the list. IF
! there's a healthier man in this town
than you are I'd like to know his
| name"
Healthy! Why, 1 had a sinking
spell not four hours ago!" he shouted.
Yes, you probably sunk down in a
| chair. Why, man, you eat enough at
| every meal to do for two common men.
That boiled ham we had last night"
Never mind the boiled ham. It's no
use to tell you that 1 may not live three
months. The doctor says it's the worst
complication of ailments he ever saw.
1t is only after I have passed in my
checks that you'll awake to the fact
that I was an accomplishing sufferer
for years.
but what about the tent? Are you
going to swallow that to cure yourself
of some of the ailments?'
Mrs. Bowser, We'll treat this as
serious matter-a very serious matter
or We'll shut up about it. 1t is no time
for sarcasm when mans life is hang
ing in the balance"
'WeIl, them"
'I shall put up the tent in the back
yard and sleep in it in order to get the
ground current l have every falth IN
the experiment. I believe that after
the first three nights I shall be feeling
much better. I wish you wouldn't irri-
tate me this evening. 1 have been
thinking of collins and tombstones all
day and 1 have a fear that 1 have be-
why. my dear husband, If you feel
that way I haven't another word to
say in opposition. So right ahead and
put up your tent and occupy 1t. l
don't know anything about the electric
ground current. but If IL will help even
one of your ailments I shall be thank
full You'll need mattress, of course?"
No; I shall sleep on the bare
ground. I want the full effect of the
current"
After dinner. which was one of the
heartiest he had eaten in month, Mr.
Bowser carried the tent to the back
yard and set it up. When the COOK
saw what was going on she went 10
Mrs. Bowser and said:
Mum, could you get another girl
and let me go this EVENING""
But why. Bridget?
Because want to be found alive in
the morning, and 1 see that Mr.. Bows
err is fixing to explode US all. It's the
water pipes, and the gas pipes, and the
hot water, and the cold water, and dy-
Mantle and gunpowder and the fur
mace, and I've got SO scared that I'm
finding gray hairs in my head"
Bridget was quieted with guarantee
of safety, and Mr.. Bowser came in for
an hour before retiring to get the el-c-
trio current. During this time he had a
great deal to say about the north pc e
and the south pole and the gulf stream
and finally predicted that his sleeping
forming the world the exact cause or
earthquakes. volcanoes and cyclones
He finally hunted up pencil and paper
and took his way to the yard. AS was
afterwards ascertained, he made notes.
and the notes read as follows:
L have retired to the tent. over forty
cats about 1t may be the electric cur
rent of the earth that gives cats nine
lives.
Il have stretched myself on the
grass 1 seem to feel a vibration of
the earth. May be a truck going past
on the street, or may be Prof. Baum
garten's electric current
There is a quiet cracking of the
grass Electricity must be at work.
This is restful. I am feeling a holy
calm steal over me.
THE above mentioned holy calm was
interrupted by a cat entering the tent
but [ soon walked her out again.
This is a heap better than going to
the woods. No danger of bears or
snakes, and you get the electric cur
rent besides.
II think I feel the current passing
from the north to the south pole, but
may be mistaken.
IT was mistaken. 1t was only a
chicken bone under my back. Perhaps
the current is late in getting started
tonight.
Several other cats invaded the tent
to be dubbed out.
Just saw Mrs. Bowser at a back win
dow looking out She needn't concern
more peaceful situation than this. 1t
combines all the advantages of the sea-
shore with all the comforts of home.
IT certain that the electric current
has now got started, for the benefit of
the public I will say that the hour is