St. Johnsbury Caledonian. [volume] (St. Johnsbury, Vt.) 1867-1919, 1908-08-05
A Hand In the Dark.
IOriginal.l


swim.
Had 1t not been for my mother and
sisters l would have got on well
enough. was young and strong and
perfectly willing to work. But they
must live. Mother was too old to do
anything for herself, and, as to my sis
tiers, it was before the admission to
the various fields which are now open
to women. secured an agency for
the sale of sewing machines. One day
| went home and found the family all
being turned out of the.lttle cottage to
which we had been reduced for non
payment of rent. had sold that day
a machine for which ! had collected
the money. | paid the rent with it.
There are cases where the penalty
for dishonesty seems very harsh. That
| had appropriated the sewing ma
chine funds soon became known to my
employers. was given twentyfour
hours to make good the deficiency or
submit to arrest. There was no way
In the world to save myself. OF a
naturally sensitive disposition, to go
behind bars was more than | could en-
dure | resolved on suicide.
owned a revolver which l had pur-
chased in the halcyon days. had
few cents necessary to buy cartridges.
Following plan usual to suicides for
the purpose OF lessening as much as
possible the shock to those who love
them, went to a hotel, registered and
asked for a room. The hour was for
o'clock in the evening but 1t was
In December and as dark as midnight.
The clerk assigned me to a room. and
| was shown to 1t by bell boy. 1t
was In wing Of the hotel at the end
Of dimly lighted hall. My conductor
found the door unlocked and opened II.
entered and shut the door behind me,
| was In absolute darkness. which was
what preferred-that Is, If man
about to die has any preferences.
My knee rubbed against chair
took hold of ii and sat down with my
face to its back, and dropped my head
on my hands. My mind of course was
on my misfortunes Had | not been
suffering from a partial temporary In
sanity | might have seen the folly Of
my course 1t would have been better
for me to disappear. Then ! might
cfili lao Of a m mnfhpF and sic
tiers. This did not occur to me. My
mind had become saturated with one
subject-arrest. handouts, prison bars
| am believer In the power of purely
temporary physical conditions to force
one into crime. and such condition |
suffered from.
Presently | Strengthened up, put my
hand 10 hip pocket and took out my
revolver. There was no necessity for
a light could do what intended
through the sense of touch Indeed. |
did not care, as some suicides have
done, to shoot myself standing before
a mirror. | dreaded to see the hor-
rible expression that was on my face.
| slowly raised the revolver. my finger
on the trigger, intending to place the
muzzle against my temple Just as
felt the cold steel hand grasped my
wrist
Doubtless nothing could have oc
Cured better calculated to bring me
to my senses. The spell in which my
mind had been caught was suddenly
broken. Surprise was the first sensa-
ton. curiosity the second Neither had
anything to do with the monomania
that had possessed me. had sud
denly been transferred into a free
thinking man. noticed first that the
hand about my wrist was small and
soft. 1t must be a woman's. But
what was a woman doing In that room,
and how did she know that had
raised a pistol to my head? She might
have heard me come in and sit down,
but 1t would have required light to de-
test noiseless motion. Not for a mo-
ment did | fancy that some one from
the dead had come to save me- The
hand was warm, human, and / felt
human currents passing from its
owner to me. What has required a
whole paragraph to tell flashed
through me in an instant.
"Who are your" | asked.
zone whom God has doubtless sent
to save you from crime" came the
a., xyninn
Il will strike light"
please don't. am under the care
of an oculist He has placed me in
darkness preparatory to an operation.
| have been here all day without ray
of light entering my eyes, for, in addi-
ton to the room being darkened, my
eyes have been bandaged. Hearing
some one enter, lifted the bandage.
Having been so long in perfect dark
ness, my sight is very strong. / have
seen you. though dmly, from the first
and can see you now. Hadn't better
ring for some one to take you away"
"No; will go alone. There Is no fear
that will act as intended. You have
relieved the mental strain under which
l suffered"
gave her a brief account Of the
causes that had led up to my intended
suicide. She exacted promise from
me to go to her father and tell him the
story, including my adventure with
her, giving me a ring as a token.
left her and kept my promise. | was
nri,ot, n nhnnlr To nnr my indnhtndnncr