The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1908-12-17
Letter FROM BILKEss.
Hog Killing at Bilkinsyille-Mr.
Taft and Prohibition-Tempe
Versus Nonsene-Matrimony and
Hard Times-The Standard Oil
Company and the Politicians at It.
Correspondence of the Caucasian-En-
terprise.

IerpF1Se.
We have been killing some big
hogs in BiikinsvilIe lately. Tom
Johnson killed one that weighed 80
pounds. Hit wuz only seven years
| old an wuZ the same breed that
Billy Bryan wuZ goin' ter interduce
| If he had bin eleckted Preserdent.
Bill Moody awlso killed one that wuz
| cOrker. Hit weighed 28 pounds
and wuZ but four years old.
| see by the papers that Mr.. Taft,
| the gentleman who will move into
! the White House next March, hez
stirred up a guide deal Of talk by
failin' ter drink anything at a big
| banquet in hiz honor at Cincinnati
down an wouldn't even let them
pour anything in hit. Ov course the
| prohibition brethren, them that don't
| drink an them that do, fer hit liz no
| sign that a man don't drink when he
gifts ter howlin' fer prohibition an
other luxuries. AS | sed, they hev
| bin hoWlin' at a CRATE rate.
existed erbout that. They liz plenty
ov men who don't drink, guide men,
too, an they IL some guide who kin
git on the outside ov a considerable
quantity ov rye or corn Ticker. Some
oV the biggest drunkards | ever seed
| wuZ prohibitionists, an some ov the
soberest men 1 ever seed wuz in fa-
toIr
In fact, Ticker an religion don't be-
long in the same class. / hev seed
very religious people who could, but
who would not pass a saloon without
victim their whistle; on the other
hand l hev seed plenty ov people
who would stop an take a nip an
go on an attend ter their own busi-
ness an turn up sober every time.
The trouble iz in the man. If hit
wuz only anti-prohibitionist who
drink ticker they would never be an
other copper Ticker still made in this
world.
But | don't know what Mr. Taft
condition ov health that he thought
Ticker would not be guide fer him.
Perhaps he he'd bin takin' a few
quiet nips before he went into the
| banquet hall an thought he wuz
mellow ennuff. Possibly he heZ
learned that the world iz full ov liars
| an thought that if he took anything
at all that they would soon hev out
| a report that he wuz drunk at the
| first banquet in his honor after hiz
| eleckshun az Preserdent. Be that
az hit may. I'll bet Billy Taft does
ut experience any long drouth if he
| cares ter irrigate. He IL rite thar
in Cincinnati, Ohio. whar they iz a
million gallons ov bug juice day an
mite. If he don't like the Ohio
brand hit amt but a mile or so
| acrOst the river ter the Kentucky
side, an they IL forty million gallons
rite thar in that State. Hit liz awl
guide Ticker, too; "gude, better, best. F"
An when he goes ter Washington an
| kin still git hit at the same ole price
| No, don't worry erbout Mr.. Taft.
Turn your attention ter savin' some
| oy the more active and noisy prOhi-
| bitionists rite here in North Carolina.
They air in desperate plight an
can't hardly wait fer the jug train
| ter come in from outside points load
ed with Ticker I am never Uneasy
| erbout Preserdents an things like
| that; they air able ter buy their
| ticker. | worry erbout prohibition
| lists who cut off the supply an then
| hev ter git hit from outside points.
| They air the fellers who beat their
| wives au' fill drunkards' graves in
many, many cases.
By the way l notis that since Dur
ham went dry; by local election
| first, and by the State law, second
they hev sorter got down ter real
business in the way ov crime. l
see that they wuz PIP arrests thar
durin' the month ov November, which
liz bad reckord fer town OF that
size an fer a dry town, too. The
| prohibitionists in that town must hev
| got news that the devil hez bin
turned loose, an think that they will
march out ter meet him. Ov course
| [ don't mean that the real temper
ance people hev turned criminals.
But I do mean that the hypocrits air
givin' a record-breakin' perform
| ance, just az they do everywhar, an
| at all times.
l notis that the Governor ov North
| Carolina hez refused ter pardon old
Major Martin, a Republican who
went ter the penitentiary several
years ergo on the charge ov en-
, bezzlin' money from the State. But
on the same day the Governor grant
ed pardon ter two prisoners who had
committed murder. I don't know,
[ guess rite now that the fellers that
had committed murder wuZ dyma-
krats, an az our CRATE an noble
party liz gittin' so weak an scatterin
he liz 1ookin' out fer tryin' ter increas
the party by hook an crook. That il
the way we dymakrats hev awlways
done when things begin ter look
bilious; we keep the pen full ov
Republicans an turn out awl the
dymakrats az fast a they air need
ed; in fack, it iz purity hard tel
git one ov our real guide workers in
the pen.
In the town of >Statesville, county
seat of Iredell, they hev a court