The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-03
Ganderbone's January Forecast,
Copyright 1907 by c. III. Rieth.)

The big bet for this month will be Taft
The Atlantic fleet will apr oach the Horn
with bent spy-glass, looking around Tor
Japs. Japan will have a slack month at
the Nagasaki navy yards, and will build
only twenty-seven more war ships. The
guess on Roosevelt's future for this month
will be that he will become Congressman
after he leaves the White House, and will
go into the ring with Williams and De Ar
mond. Mr.. Bryan will walk around the
Democratic nomination with hammer, to
see If there is any place where he could
nail it down. Money will continue shy,
rising out OF range and flying eight miles.
Mr.. Lawson will put his mask on and 60
back into the game, Jobs will continue to
run when they see you coming, and some
time during the month Mr.. Morgan will
decide whether he has all the money he
wants now, or If he will continue the panic
After the goth we shall he under the
influence Of Aquarius the water carrier, the
eleventh sign of the Zodiac. Under this
favorable sign, Prohibition will establish
about eighty more storm centers, booze will
run another mile in nothing south OF the
Mason & Dixon line, and Carrie Nation will
work with hatchet in each hand. To
quote an Omar Of the Oklahoma desert,
Hush little bar room,
Don't you cry
You'll be a drugstore
BY and by.
Another year (mark we'll the rhyme)
Has joined the Host of Father Time.
few more solid banks will bust
To many trusting ones disgust.
The widow recently bereft
Will pop the question right and left,
And luckess man, Of Leap Year butt,
Will scramble for the tall uncut.
The sport in Congress will consist Of
battles with the horney fist, the gentleman
Missouri bred will call some one noodle
head; they'll clinch and bite each others
cheek, the frightened galleries will shrek,
the Speaker will get out gun, the man
from Arkansas will run, the sergeant will
bolt through door, the fight will spread
upon the floor, the clerk will climb the
chaplain's back and the air will sound wi h
Bif and Whack; the War Department will
turn out, the Senate will get in the bout,
and Fairbanks with triumphant cry, Will
black Ben Tilman's other eye; the Presi-
dent will get his hat, his boxing gloves and
trusty bat, and will exclaim on coming
back, "All's quiet on the Po.to-mack"
After that we shall have very pleasant
weather. The moon will be full OF the
18th, and persons we never heard of will
be mentioned for vice president. The
Fsh-Harriman fight will go into the tenth
round, and Mr.. Fish will complain to The
Hague tribunal that Mr.. Harahan is using
knucks. General Funston, OH guard at
Goldhe'd, will appeal to Secretary Metcalt
to transfer him to Washington, where the
fighting is going on; Christmas presents will
be exchanged for something you want, and
Japan, hearing that the fleet is to keep
right on across the Pacific, will move over
on the mainland and dig cyclone cellars
Persons born in January have cold feet
and do not play poker. If they are born
under the influence of Aquarius the water
carrier, they will vote dry. They are very
\ ingenious, and know how TO turn the gas
meter back. They have large families and
small incomes. The are slow to marry.
but can get divorce as quick as anybody.
They are very shrewd in money matters,
and never give their wives the money.
Don't answer the doorbell this month
It's book agent Keep the silverware
under the coal pile. II you come home late
at night, look out for highwaymen, and
walk in the middle of the street, as the
policeman does Don't write love letters.
She will save them.
The trusts will continue to show us
where to head in, and Congress will vote
our money like it was theirs The fash
ionable wintering places for the month will
be Southern California and the Florida
Coast. and all trains bound to those points
will be loaded with pasterers and brick
layers, with their families.
And then the short lived month Of Feb
ruary, when woman will complete her web,
and foolish man will buzz about, until the
spider dashes out and nails him neatly tc
the mast, for SO long as his life shall last.
-
II you are out of work, or have spar,
time. you should get our proposition. M
mail order scheme, but clean straigh