River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-04-09

bit past recognition when found, but
as it wore the clothes OF Carl John-
son, in the pockets OF which was that
party's pocketbook and knife, and as
Carl Johnson had suddenly disap-
peared about week before, the cor
oner held that the body was that OF
Carl Johnson.
No one, however, lost any sleep from
the fact that Johnson had walked into
the pond and afterwards failed to
walk out He was VIGOROUSLY stingy,
unkempt and drunken, and so few of
the villagers had even taken any in
terest in the drowned man that his
death was scarcely discussed.
But men are not wholly done with,
even though they are drowned and
food for fishes There is always or
generally some property left behind,
and always or generally there Is some
one to claim the property.
In the case Of Carl Johnson it was
a surprise from the word, money. No
one in the village had been aware that
the drowned man was married; never
theless he was no sooner buried than
Shere appeared on the scene a certain
stunning blonde, who claimed that
she was his widow.
II seems that the deceased had met
her the summer before while transact
ing some business in the city and that
they had been married after q very
brief cOurtship. The lady had chosen
to remain in the metropolis until her
husband could wind up his business at
Riverside and rejoin her, while as evil
dence Of her marriage to the deceased
and as proof of their mutual affection,
certain letters had passed between the
two, and when the first of these love
epistles was read in court the villagers
sat up and took notice.
Indeed, the letter was so interesting
that more than one farmer left his hay
ing and came seven miles to court,
but that rests between those farmers
and their wives, and does not neces-
sarily pertain hereto.
There was now subpoenaed from
the city certain tall, slim clergyman,
whose hair and manners we're as
smooth as vaselne and urbanity could
make him.
lie testified that he had OBLIGATED
at the marriage of the lady and the
deceased Carl Johnson, and that he
had known the widow since her hap
tism, at which ceremony he had also
OtEiciated. The farmers wives and
villagers could hardly credit this last
statement. The clergyman looked too
youthful, but then the stunning blonde
was very, very young-and very, very
'disconsolate
The case progressed with the court
room crowded to the doors and a few
rustics sitting outside in their teams,
discussing what a fool Johnson had
made Of himself down in the city,
and wondering if they could get off
from haying and go and do likewise.
Suddenly the people began pouring
from the courtroom, not willingly, how
ever, but angrily, and with many
backward look The court had been
cleared that certain of the love let
tors that had passed between the de-
ceased and his widow might be read
only in the hearing of the judge,
clients, attorneys. jurors and clerk
The widow had begged it, blushing-
ly, tearfully; her lawyer had requested
it, while the judge had thought it
best
The letters were then read and the
case went to the jury, after an elo-
quent appeal upon the part of the at
torney for the widow in which that
ladys tender affection for the de-
ceased was so dramatically drawn
that she fell to sobbing on the clergy
mans shoulder.
Ten minutes after retiring the
jurors filed back into the courtroom
and the foreman reported a verdict
favorable to the widow as against
distant relative of the deceased, who
had contested the widows claim.
The farmers and villagers received
the verdict with an enthusiasm worthy
OF dollar wheat and the stunning
blonde, with all due sweetness and
modesty, took possession of the farm
and moneys of Carl Johnson, deceased,
the clergyman remaining with her as
an impeccable chaperon.
Then one day the legally dead Carl
Johnson walked into the village and
asked the news. When he got it, got
it all-his drowning-the widow, the
clergyman-the courts decision-he
ran his neglected finger nails through
his unkempt hair and spat copiously
Come along. boys he said; I'll
introduce you to her. A stunning
blonde you say? Young, plump, big
blue eyes and little foot? Yes, that's
her! That's her. all right! She's my
wife anL-and we're going to settle
right down and enjoy ourselves"
Followed by dozen friends, John
widow and clel gyman were seated at
tea, eating honey and biscuits very
lovingly together.
At sight of the dead come to life.
the widow threw up her hands and
tainted, while the impeccable clergy
man distinctly said damn. But then
he had spilled his tea over his knees
and hot tea is certainly hot.
Johnson sought to take the uncon-
scious form of the widow into his arms
and cover the rosy mouth with kisses,
but he was stayed BY the clergyman.
What have you got to say about
it," demanded the legally dead John
son. Didn't you swear in court that
~ ~ u