davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
GLOBE SIGHTS.

from the Atchison Globe.1
The greatest thing about man Is
his ability to promise.
Take as many as six girls together,
and you can bet 100 to 1 that within
a half hour the discovery will be
made that one OF the girls recently
washed her head.
A young wife talks beautifully
about her faith in her husband, but
an older wife can't work UP any more
eloquence on the subject than If she
were talking about wash day or the
mumps.
A boy is natural born outlaw
when it comes to bathing. Unless his
mother stands over him with a switch,
he won't take a bath: and after he Is
grown, and married, he neglects bath
ing when his wife leaves home.
It sometimes happens that girl
gets the reputation of having more
callers than anyone else in the neigh
borhood, because OF the location OF
the only hitchfng post in the neigh
borhood In front of her place.
An Atchison woman has such sue
cess with her bread-naking 1t is pre-
dicted she will eventually cause the
death Of her family. When she puts
the bread to rise, 1t doesn't stop ris-
ing, and unless quickly attended to,
overflows everything in the house. 1t
recently covered everything IN the
kitchen, and was rising into a bed
room where several of the family lay
sleeping, when the woman returned
from town just In time, and worked
it down, saving the lives Of her FAM
lily.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
HYHAWKER .JOTy

Anthony needs more school room and
more teachers.
During the month Of April w. H.
Maupin shipped 10,7S0 pounds of cream
out of Stafford.
During a recent storm near Abilene
four fine steers belonging to Lou Long.
who has a farm near that place. were
killed by lightning.
An Emporia COW was seen going
down the street the other day complac-
emily chewing palm leaf fan. This
leads the Gazette to suggest her owner
will soon be advertising aerated milk.
John Mahaffa of Beloit received a
check for $55 a couple of days ago in
payment Of bill that has been owing
to him for twenty-four years. Mr..
Mahaffa thought it was good deal
like picking money up in the street.
Reginald Merry, a young man whose
folks live at Junction City, has been
written to his family that he is to come
home for a visit soon and will bring
with him an English girl whom he pro-
poses to marry the day before he sails.
There's a dispute going on between
the Brown County World and the Hor-
ton Commercial as to whether the rec
ord time for an automobile run between
Horton and Hiawatha is 40 minutes or
80 minutes. Either is plenty fast
enough.
Mr.. and Mrs. Daniel C. Harris, Of
Cummings. hold this remarkable rec
ord: They have been married for fifty
years, and during that time they have
never had a single quarrel. Another
remarkable thing is that they had
known each other only thre days be-
fore they were married.
What has broken loose?" asks the
Pratt Republican, after remarking
1--WE see more intoxicated men intox-
icated about town this week than for
long time" Probably a few joints.
And the Pratt folks should send for
the SCOOP Club" Of the Kansas Uni
versity to find them II they cannot be
located by home talent.
A recent Emporia Gazette contained
several touching references, both in
verse and. prose, to the theft Of Walt
Mason's chickens. In one of them Mr.
Mason says: Referring again to the
chickens which were stolen from the
poets pagoda last night, it is timely
to say that a Card Of Thanks Is being
prepared, directed to those neighbors
who lent their sympathy and encour-
agement in the Dark Hour of Bereave-
ment. When ones chickens have been
swiped, and life's horizon is overcast
with clouds through which the effuI-
gence of hope cannot penetrate, 1t is In
deed Sweet to know that the said splash
| ing of our tears finds an echo in the
hearts of our friends. And they were
good chickens, too, laying right along"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
WHY HARD TTMEse

We seem to have accepted it as
settled that a presidential year neces-
sarily brings business dizziness. And
this acceptance makes the dizziness a
certainty whether there is any reason
for it or not.
When the business body of the
country looks for hard times it always
finds them. BY providing for business
duliness we cause 1t.
AS a matter of fact there is no rea-
son why business should continue dull
this year because it is presidential
wear any more than it should because
it is leap year.
There are no presidential issues
whatever before the country at this
time that involve financial or
economic disturbance. No changes of
policy are proposed by either party
that could alter the basis Of business.
The currency question is accepted
with possibly a few little amendments
as settled for the present, and the
treasury and the banks were never
stronger.
The tariff is not going to be ma
terially disturbed.
No issue is proposed on any hand
that could alarm business.
Even If one possible commercial is
sue-that Of warfare on the criminal
trusts-be brought more prominently
forward, general business could have
nothing to lose, but much to gain.
So it is impossible to see upon what
the commercial fear of this particular
presidential year can be. substantially
based.
There Is superstition only. But
that, unfortunately, seems sufficient to
cause timidity. depression and pos
sible disasters.
Apprehension, even Of the worst.
may readily enough be realized. But
on the other and better hand, con-
fdence, even the highest If generally
shared in by the business men Of the
country, would be more than justified.
The causes Of the depression of the
last six monthS-whatever they were
have passed away. It is the psychic
attitude to be taken by business men
which will make or mar the business
of the rest of the year.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
JOURNAL ENTRIES

1t doesn't pay to be INSCRIPTIONS,
particularly in a small way.
= 4 X
Most men who have the happy fac
ulty Of making new friends easily owe
all their old ones.
y
There is only one time when life is
not worth living and that is when you
think it is not.
y =
Nowadays it's often up to a Judge
to decide whether a lad is papa's lit
tie boy or mama's little boy.
= y
summer hotel cannot hope for
much success unless the acoustic pro-
pertieS of its piazza are excellent.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
A VOCATION BUREAU.

DR.. Edward Everett Hale's magazine,
the Lend a Hand Record, recently
contained an account OF a unique
philanthropic and ethical organization
which has been formed in Boston.
Realizing the Importance of selecting
for ones life work the business, pro-
fession, trade or occupation for which
nature has best fitted him, commit
tee of ladies and gentlemen has been
formed in that city for the purpose Of
advising young people as to the choice
of their vocation. An Office has been
established for this purpose and its
service will be given free.
The aim of the organisation is to
give to all who come to its office for
advice systematic information concern
ing the best means Of developing the
natural bent Of the applicants. as de-
termined by judicious questioning, and
of preparing to use their natural pow
ers to the best advantage. The coun-
sci, guidance, information and CO.
operation furnished by this bureau is
the result of long and varied expert
ence of life possessed by its carefully
chosen members, and can. not fail to
prove valuable, if tactfully given and
sensibly received.
Some one once said: "If all lost
things went to the moon. how full Of
good advice 1t would be-" and the
manner of giving and receiving good
advice has often more to do with its
permanent effect than the intrinsic
| value of the advice itself. No one
cares for a gift ungraciously or
patronizingly given. as a rule. and
there IL an old proverb about the flu
tiiity Of Offering pearls to swine that
still has force and truthfulness. The
members of this bureau. therefore,
will need infinite tact and the power
of reading human nature quickly and
accurately, as well as knowledge and
experience, II the work is to succeed.
| Round pegs In square holes, and
vice versa. are to be met with every
day, and the problem Of readjustment
is often very difficult one. for the
pegs are much like the keys of locks
each designed for its own particular
place. Teachers are only of late years
beginning really to study their pupils
land the influence Of even the wisest
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

Graft" that rather iniquitous mon
ster which prostitutes all things it
comes in contact with. appears to pre-
vail in every field of activity in New
York city. 1t is now charged that
some of the officers OF the famous So
ciety there for the Prevention of Cru
city to Children are quite as big graft
ers as are some of the members of the
FINEST" police force in the world. They
are accused. among other things, of
protecting saloonkeepers in selling IL
auor to children.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
KANSAS cOAAENT
COTTON AcREAGE.

TTxl-
me proposition to reduce acreage
IN the cotton belt in order to protect
dent.
In the FIRST place large crops in any
county OF any staple are a blessing
regardless OF price. The frst purpose
OF agriculture Is to feed and cIothe
the race, not to make money.
inere are great complaints when
syno1cates monopolize large areas
LOT grazing. because the plea is made
tnat those areas broken up into small
farms would AFFORD homes for SO
many Families. The statement that
grazing these areas makes large mon
ey Tor the syndicate is not accepted
put Is condemned as a cold blooded
metnod OF acquiring wealth at the
cost or distress OF the many.
Yet the same ones wno complain
OF this treatment, having been given
the land Tor homes, conspire to limit
production that they may make a lit
tie more money by compelling the
masses 70 pay them more for the
solfs products. One heartless syndf-
cate is succeeded by an equally
heartless combination,
What's the difference?
But one Oklahoma paper, while an
proving the principle of area reduce
ton, calls attention to the fact that
Oklahoma Is not planting its pro rata
|
proposition to reduce acreage should
not apply to the new state. and there
Is the whole thing in a nut shell.
Let the balance Of the cotton belt
reduce acreage, thus boosting the
price OF cotton. and Oklahoma, the
new state, with its eye teeth cut new
ertheless. will plant a little more and
thus reap the fruits Of the reduced
acreage elsewhere.
But the scheme Of reduced acreage
has never yet worked. The minute
any bright farmer believes his neigh
bors will reduce acreage, that minute
ne increases his own, and as a result
big yield everywhere follows and
the people get the benef1t of cheaper
prices because of an ample supply.
By all means let the Kansas far
| mers meet and agree to reduce wheat
and corn acreage, agree to kill off
| the brood swine, to kill the calves at
birth and that same year Kansas will
| double its products in wheat, corn,
hogs and cattle if the season is favor
able.-Wichita Beacon.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

The tongue Of gossip never crow.
rusty.
Most Of the things we do for fun
are anything but funny.
Its easier to be q collexe xradu>t .
than It Is to earn a living.
And IT'S some times easier n .e,-n
a living than 1t IL to get It. =
Be careful when it comes to 1end,r.
money or borrowing trouble.
Some people are as miserIv yvSth
truth as others are with rnonev. =,
Women who take antilean remaaiA.
try to make the most Of themseivess
The man who is really wiser thsr
his wife acts as II he thourff otf.~.
wise.
Lots Of men are unable 10 reso-r,
because they haven't the necesearv
material.
No. Alonzo. girl isn't necessar,yv T:
manicurist just because she likes "a
hold hands.
No poverty-striclken aristocrat sv..
considers a plutocratjc heiress too ricb
for his blood. 49,
Somehow the average girl inst c.n.t
help loving young man whom her
mother doesn't like.
There Ii something wrong wish -.
girl who would rather read about low
making in novel than try Il hersaW
Every time . young man sees :
pretty xiri pure har lips he wonders Il
there = auythane = IT, pusns for 49,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

The Ministers Alliance of Atchison
suggests that if the Germans do not
like the enforcement of the prohibition
law In Atchison and Kansas they can
pack up their goods and go back to
Germany. This suggestion is pertinent.
II the Germans or any other class of
people do not like the way things are
run In Kansas they are at perfect lib
erty to make themselves scarce, or
wait until such a time when they will
be numerically strong enough to run the
Affairs of the state to suit themselves.
At the present time the great majorf-
~ of the people of the state are
strongly in favor OF q prohibition law
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
CACTUS cENTER,s cANDIpATE.

CACTUS CENTER'S CANDIDATE.
We are thinhin' here in Cactus, and were
thfnkin' pretty plain.
That It's time we cut some figger in the
national campaign;
We hear OF many fav'rites. but Jest take
1t, stranger, straight
When it comes to winnin' bosses we have
got THE candidate.
He'll be nameless jest at present. till we're
ready fer to spring
name that. sure as shootin', win Jest
make the country rfngs
Fer he sums up all the virtues that the
finicky kin wish,
Though his fav'rite term in cussin' il
some stronger than "Oh. Pishr
He kin ride q twistin' broncho that amt
And kin snu1 a burnfn' candle with gun
in either hand:
He kin throw the rope, some fancy, and
kin hog-tie any steer,
And at standin' pat in gun-plays he amt
ever had peer.
So we're goin' to keep him quiet, ~ the
cow country's dark boss.
And Wen stampede the convention fore
they brand US Double-Cross:
Our. platform skips the tariff. but it's
strong on Wild West shows.
And our candidates. q winner when he
speaks in cowboy clothes!
Denver Republican.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

Arkansas latest joke is the calling
OF a special session of the legislature
by Mr.. Hamiter, who is acting as
governor while Governor PindaIl is
attending the gubernatorial confer
ence that is being held with President
Roosevelt. Governor Pindall was op-
posed to the calling Of such a session
but Mr.. Hamiter, who is unfriendly to
him, lost no time in summoning one
as soon as he got the chance. Jeff
Davis does not appear to be the only
politician in Arkansas who is a pc
cuIfar Individual.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
HUHop or THE DIY

Eddie-Td like to be . Moe boy, but
I Just can't remember all the things
Jest remember to don't do anything
you want to.-Kansas City Times.
Miss Cunning-why don't you pro-
pose to her by telephone then? Mr..
wouldn't know who 1 was. Miss
Cunning-Exactly that might help
your chances-Phfladelphia Press.
"she said she feared at the time
yes. that's what scared her the most,
Of course-fearing she couldn't tell ali
about II. Cleveland Leader.
drunk" Were in luck. He won't
have to go out after it."-Louisville
Courier-Journal.
Tommy-Pop. what IL the differ
ence between dialogue and a mono
women talk. my son, IT'S dialogue:
when a woman carries on conversa-
ton with her husband it's a mono
losue.-Philadelphi Record.
| Enough Left.-Afrs. Benham-You
took the words right out OF my mouth.
Benheu-1 don't seem to have done a
complete job.-Judse.
"say." exclaimed the irate fiat
dweller as he rushed into the gas Of
fice.y do you mean, to say this bill
represents the amount Of gas we
burned last month";" mot neces-
sarily." calmly replied the man be-
the amount you have to pay for
Chicago Daily News.
Would Want It Back wish I
had Rockefeller's money" ''rt would
only cause you endless trouble "Y
guess you're right. He'd never give
me any rest"-Washington Herald. .
| Mrs. Handout-fIave you no desire
for better things? Tramp-Certainl
gimme broiled chicken.-Leslie's
| Weekly.
| ibid you and your wife take a
long trip on your honeymoon?" "It
seemed long to me. Her father had
promised to settle q snug sum Of
money on us as soon AZ we got back"
Chicago Reeord-Heraid-
Reddy Quitting down a gold piecey
Ticket for Del Monte. Ticket Clerk
Change at Castroville. IL you take
this train. Reddy-I'u wait then, Tor
I want my change right here, uncle
Monterey Gossip.
what would you do X you were
one O. desc millionaires?" said
Meandering Mike. IT 'spose,'' ans
wered Flooding Pete, "dat I'd get
meself a golf OUTFIT an walk fur pleas
ure instid o. from necessity.'--Wask-
| fngton Star.
| "The fine new residence that pro-
moter has built Is standing on q
blum" $50 is he."-Baltimore Amer
lean.
Howel1-Wel1, RoweIl IL a happy
father. PowelI-Yes, and he gave me
| a cigar in honor OF the event, and I
tell you. old man, I'm from this time
| on a believer in race suicide.-Brook-
! lyn Life. =
Rodd-I understand that new auto
mobile Of yours goes like the wind.
Greene-That's right. Nobody can
tell just when the wind IL eoiur to
start or. when It Is going to stop
Yonkers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

oh Joyi Social honors continue to
be heaped on US Americans. King
Edward of England has patted Mrs.
Potter Palmer of Chicago on the back
and the refreshing news comes from
the other side that she win be one OF
the leaders In London society during
the next open season of the smart set.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
rFrom the New York Press.

rFrom the New York PressJ
What makes the season of real en-
joyment Is it isn't opera.
The reason man objects to but
toning woman up the back IL she's
his wife.
The reason people Hike to talk il It
requires no thought on the subject
they talk about.
A mans family does all it knows
how to see that he shall not bear the
disgrace of dying rich.
Women go to fortune tellers SO that
II any of It should come true their
faith in them would be vindicated-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

Every man in the country ought to
Join with President Roosevelt in lend
ing communication to the newly or
ganized National Prosperity associa-
ton which was formed recently at st.
Louis, Its purpose is to promote con-
fidence among the business men
throughout the land. There Is plenty
OF need for such an organization just
at this time and everybody should
lend a hand towards a successful ac-
complishment of its purposes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

France has become rolled over
venezuela's expulsion of some French
subjects and the Paris newspapers
are out with strong editorials saying
that 1t Is time for the big stick to be
applied to this South American dis
turber of the peace of nations. They
say that If the United States does not
act some other country ought to and
will. So it is quite evident that Castro
will get exactly what he deserves be-
fore long
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.
EFrom the Philadelphia Record.l

IF'rom the Philadelphia Record-1
A quart Of rye will often raise q
peck of trouble.
When a fellow hugs a girl his eff
forts generally go to waist.
In financial matters even the tall
man doesn't long to be short.
'I want nay hair cut, and be quick
about it," said the man. "All right;
I'll make short work Of it," replied
the barber.
Muggins-'fIf is wasn't for my wife
I'd raise whiskers.'' Buggfns-"What
would she DOR Muggins-'she'd raise
objections"
Time is money" quoted the Wise
Guy. And yet some people spend all
their time in making money" added
the Simple Mug. ssfN
Aunt Fanny finishing her fairy
tale)-"And what does the story OF
Bluebeard's wives teach us?" Little
Elsie-'.Not to lose our heads over .
man."
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

This emergency currency bill which
has been agreed upon by the Republi-
cans in the house of representatives
will authorize by law the banks
of the country to do just about the
very thing that they did In creating a
temporary currency through the
means of clearing house certificates
issued on their securities during the
financial panic and incidental money
stringency Of six months ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

II old Jupiter Pluvius can be COM
municated with we'd like to send him
a message to the effect that there has
been plenty of rain in these parts for
some time to come. We're thankful
for the generous outpour Of his stock
in trade, but he should bear in mind
that enough is enough and enough
wA'ye had
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

There's some talk of Tommy Burns,
the rather plutocratic pug, going to
Sydney, Australia, for a few fights to
be pulled off during the time that the
United States battleship feet is visit
ing that port. We'd like to wager a
ham sandwich that there are a few
sailors with the fleet who could put
Burns down and out in a rough and
tumble fight at least.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

and its rigid enforcement. And the
minority must needs abide by their
rule, however distasteful it may be to
them If they don't like it they can
move away. The Germans are too good
to lose, we don't want them to leave,
but they must learn like the rest of us
have to to abide the majority's will
whether we like it or not
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

Stubs stock has taken a great
boom. At least one old soldier has
announced that he will support the
authenticated candidate. It is doubt
ful IL the Leland forces will concede
70 Stubbs the support of this one vet
eran even though he makes the
statement himself that he favors
Efyfl1ha
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
FULL, LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal Ii q member q tho
Associated Press and receives the fun DAY
telegraph report of that great news or
ganizafion for the exclusive afternoon
publication IN Topeka
The news IL received In The State Jour.
nal building over wfre1 for this sole puE-
Dose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

We agree with the Chicago Tribune
that bird in the bush is worth any
number Of birds on a spring hat
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13
A Mysterious Spring.
Horace F1e4cher's Strength.

Horace Fletcher, whose theories of
diet and OF long chewing OF food
have aroused much attention and
been adopted by q considerable num-
Der OF disciples, is able to show a
physical strength and endurance
remarkable in q man of his age. He
is now In his fifty-ninth year, and he
has lust been making tests Of him
self as compared with college boys to
whom he has been lecturfng. He at
tributes his condition to following
the system he teaches, and at the
Springfield training school the other
day he tried lifting in various ways
and was excelIed by only one student,
and that one has been working on the
Fletcher system. Mr.. F1etcher's en-
durance is said to be quite as remark
able as his muscular power.-Hart-
ford Times.
Kills Horse With Blow Of His Fist.
with one powerful blow with his
bare fist Harry Hill, an indianapolis
bartender, knocked down ana IN
stantly killed the other day full
grown horse, owned by August Blue.
The feat was executed on a prominent
street corner to settle wager OF
$40. Mr.. Blue suffers the additfonai
loss of his horse, valued at $3.50
Hill. who, formerly worked IN q
packing house. has posted $500
forfeit that he can kill twelve steers
In twelve minutes with his nst.-
Indianapolis News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

Rodd-I understand that new auto-
mobile Of yours goes like the wind.
Greene-That's right. Nobody can
tell just when the wind IL eoiur to
start or when It Is going to stop
Yonkers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-05-13

Enough Left.-Mrs. Benham-You
took the words right out OF my mouth.
Benhan-I don't seem to have done a
complete tob.-Judge