The Globe-republican., 1908-08-13
Baked ON ITEMS
ONCE THAT Mr.. TIGHTWAD GAVE
UP GRACEFULLY.
Recitation of Details That Threatened
to Run Into Something Like
Three-Voume Novel Too
Much for Him.

"You know blamed well that when
you want any money all you have to
do is to ask me for it, said the mar
ried man with some heat.
"My dear" said his wife.
"You can say my dear as much as
you like, but you can't deny 1t. Will
you tell me of any time | have refused
you?"
Il think 1 could tell you of a num-
Der Of times that you have" said his
wife. Don't you remember"
81 suppose you are going to say that
in 1868, on June II, at 1892 p. NJ, |
wouldn't let you have ten cents that
you needed. You're great on ringing
up dates on man. No, don't re-
member and you don't remember,
either. If you didn't get what you
wanted it was because | didn't have
it,
That's just like a man. In the first
place, we wernt married in June
1868. I wasn't born then, SO it isn't
very likely that | would be asking you
for money. In the second place, that's
what you always say-that you haven't
got it."
II always say that, do I?''
well, nearly always
IF kept on at you you'd say, fire.
quently,' and then you'd get to coca
sionally,' and by the time I'd insisted
for an hour or two I'd get you pinned
down to something that approached
the actual fact But I'm not going to
insist on anything. I'm the original
tightwad, if you're bound to have il
that way
"You know that gever accused you
tcf being stingy.'
20, no, I'm not stingy. I'm just
naturally opposed to giving up a
cent"
II never said that"
1T seems to me you've intimated IL
pretty strongly. All the same, ga
back to my original statement and
stand by it. II you want any money
all you have to do is to ask it.
take it for granted, If you don't ad
wise me to the contrary, that you have
a balance on hand"
Very well, them said his wife
please give me 500, and when that's
gone I'll ask you for some more"
The married man gasped. "a hun
dred dollars." he exclaimed. What
on earth do you want with 500
You're joking"
There you are" said his wife.
What did l tell you?"
We'll, great Scott" said the man.
81 suppose | might be excused If ask
what you want a sum like that for
You can have it, of course. 1t doesn't
matter whether | meet my business
obligations or not. Only. should like
to know where the money is going"
Very well, then" said his wife.
'T'll tell you I've got to pay the seam
stress for two weeks sewing That
viii take $24. Then we've got to have
some new sheets and pillow cases. If
| buy the stuff and have them made
it will cost ME little less than il
buy them ready made, but they can't
be much less lhan 70 cents apiece the
way cotton goods have gone up. \
dozen at Is cents each would be-lel
me see-well, the sheets woald cost
ninc dollars, end the pillow cases
about five dollars more. How much
does that make? Thigty-eiaht dollars.
rye got to have two or three pairs Of
gloves You were .eMaling hoT
shabby my gloves were looking the
las time you took me out, can get
along with two pairs for the present,
perhaps, but the gloves Will cost FIVE
or six dollars Then the girls need
shoes. If you'd rather take them down
town and buy the shoes yourself III
cut that out but they've got to have
them The mating in the south bed,
room is all in holes I've figured that
It would take about T. yards. and II
saw some al 25 cents a yard that
might do. That would be $3.50 and
the gloves six dollars, would be $3.50, |
and the"
For goodness sake." Interrupted
the man. What do you suppose II
want to hear all those fiddlins little
details for2 | said Won could have the |