The San Francisco call., 1908-07-19

hardest swearers ever seen in them
parts. Them parrots could swear in
seven different languages and come cor
respondin' high. Then got an infant
crocodile that cried like a baby. and
last of all I laid out a whole months
pay in the biggest monkey I ever see.
He was almost as tall as a man and
knowed lot more'n a heap of land
lubbers that I've seen"
But how in the world. Bulge did
you get all those animals on board the
ship" cried DiclSy. sitting up and
laughing.
Well sir" Bulge continued solemn
ly, guns is guns. Mr. fFalcOner. and a
man who knows his business and has
got friends both fore and aft can git
some things aboard as others can't.
Besides it got through the ship what 1
was coliectin them curios for. and
believe every man in the fo'csle would
have given his best shirt to see me
when 1 presented them pets to Mary
Ann. l will say. sir. though. that the
crocodile give US more trouble than six
babies and that there monkey come
near bein' the death Of some Of the best
hands in the ship afore we got to Port
Mahon.
BY the time the anchor kissed the
mud 1 was cOnsiderin' how 1 was to git
these little presents ashore. couldn't
manage it for near a week. but at last
contrived to sneak 'em ashore one by
one. When L got EN- together started
up the hill to the Two Doves. car
ried the two parrots in one hand and
the baby crocodile under my arm, while
with the other hand led that there
giant monkey. If hadn't tied his jaws
together hard and fast and his fore
paws. too, he'd have eat me up alive
long before I got to the Two Doves.
There was a Kind Of open space, like
a garden. with tables and chairs about,
in front of the tavern. and when 1 hove
in sight believe every man in the
ship who had liberty was a-settin' there.
waitin' to see what would happen
hailed Mary AIMS father, but jes as I
expected, Mary Ann herself come to the
door. She began mighty polite. Good
mornin'. Mr.. Budge,' ses she. what can
1 do for your If you will kindly step
here bit. marin. I'll gladly explain to
you, ses 1.
Mary Ann come trippin' down as
bold as you please. her red head bIazfn'
like lighthouse. When she got close
to me the sight of her seemed to scare
ha .,
the big monkey nearly went crazy. His
jaws and fore legs being tied he
couldn't do nothing but dance about
and howl like fury. And then I saw
sight what never looked for to see.
Mr.. Faleoner. I saw Mary Ann git as
white as a bran new mainsail and turn
round and run as fast as she could lay
her legs to the ground from that slap
pin big monkey.
The monkey was maxim arter her as
well as he could with only his hind legs
for sail power. and he a-yeIIin and
a-screamin' like mad 1 managed To
hold on to the parrots and the baby
crocodile and catch the monkey, the
men settin' round the place lafnn and
a-laftin like mad. But seem some OF
my friends among 'em 1 unloaded the
whole lot of pets upon 'em and Knocked
at the tavern door. Out come Mary
Ann. and there she give me the worst
lambastin' l ever got since l enlisted.
l stood and took it. while she poured
round grape and double headed shot
into me, all my messmates meanwhile
a-lafin- When she was through took
i the whole outfit round the corner To
chap who dealt in wild animals and
sold EN- for about five times what
paid for 'em. Then I took the money
back to the Two Doves and. AKIN 70
see Mary Ann. showed ii to her. She
said; Really. Mr. Bulge. Won have
more sense than I thought. and II Won
will renew the offer you made me be-
fore you sailed for Constantinople per-
haps may accept"
Here Bulge paused to get the full
dramatic effect of Mary AIMS words.
And how did you feel, Bulge. when
she said that?" asked Dicky solemnly.
Feel Mr.. Falconer! I felt exactly
like this here sun, with a fun gums
crew who knOwed their business. was
pirtin' her muzz1e. with a hot shot in
side. straight at me about twelve feet
away amt no particular coward.
Mr.. Falooner. but the idea OF bein'
bossed for life by Mary Ann struck
terror TO my gizzard. I turned and laid
a straight course as fast as l could
for the ship, and from that day to
this amt never set foot ashore at
Port Mahon. tho I've been there plenty
of times Mary AIMS father is dead
and she. keeps the Two Doves herself.
and her head is jes' as red as ever. tho
mine is gittin' white. I allus send her
a message or little animal OF some
kind, but I don't venture on the shin.
However. I allus names my gun after
her, and if that gun behaves in the
least like Mary Ann it'n strike terror
to the gizzards OF all them pirates and
raskils we have got to clear out from
these parts"