The enterprise. [volume] (Harlem, Mont.) 1899-1926, 1908-11-25

up the coat tails and insert a record
on the monograph concealed here in
the back of the chest, with a speakin
tube runnin' up to the mouth. We can
get the up-to-datest sermons by the
most distinguished divines, get some
gent that's afflicted with elocution to
say EN- into record, and on Sunday
our friend and pastor here will reel
EN- off fine. You press the button
ne does the rest, as the Teller says
How about calm on the mem
bers? inquiries Andy Robson.
Easy says I. Hire a buggy OF
Brother links here, who keeps a liv
| cry stable, at one dollar per p. m
Get niger to chauffeur the pastor
at 80 cents per same. There you are
Let the boy be provided with an as.
sortment of records to suit the people
pleasant and sad, consolatory and
gay, encouragin' or reprovin', and 50
forth. The coon drives up, puts in a
cartridge, sets the pastor in the door
and when the family gets through
| sets him out again.
There are, say, about 800 calm
days in the year. He can easy make
10 calls day on an average-equals
$500 calls year, at $3.50. OF course
there's the records, but they won't
cost over $50 at the outside-you
can shave 'em off and use 'em over
again, you know
But there's the personality of the
PASTOR somebody speaks up. It's that
which attracts folks and fills the
pews'
Personality shucks.' says l.
Haven't we had personality enough
For every man it attracts it repels
two. Your last preacher was one of
the best fellers that ever struck this
town. He was plum brick, and had
lots o horse sense, to boot He could
preach, too, like house afire. But
you kicked him out because he wasn't
sociable enough. You're askin' an I'M
possibility. No man can be a student
and get up the rattlin' sermons he
did, and put in his time trottin' around
calm on the sisters.
Now, let's apply business sense to
this problem. That's the way l run
my store. Find out what the people
want and give it to 'em, is my motto.
Now, people amt comm to church
unless there's somethin' to draw EN-
We've tried preachin and it won't
draw. They say they want sociability,
so let's give it to 'em strong. They
want attention paid to 'em. You turn
my friend here loose in the commuI-
ity, and he'll make each and every
man, woman and child think they're
it in less'n a month.
Then continued, that amt all.
There's another idea l propose, to go
along with the pastor, as a sort of side
line. That's tradin' stamps. Simple
amt it? Wonder why you never
thought of it yourselves, don't you?
"'All you have to do is to give
tradin' stamps for attendance, and
your church fills right up, and John
Henry keeps 'em happy. Stamps can
be redeemed at my store. So many
stamps gets, say, a parlor lamp or a
masterpiece of Italian art in a gilt
frame; so many more draws a steam
cooker or an oil stove; so many more
and you have a bicycle or a hair mat.
tress or what-not; and so on up to
where hat full of em gets an auto.
mobile.
"I tell you when a family has a
whatnot in their eye they amt goin'
to let little rain keep 'em home
from church. If they're all really too
sick to 60 they'll hire substitute.
And I opine these here stamps will
have a powerful alleviatin' effect on
Sunday-sickness.
Besides, brethren, this pastor,
havin' no family. won't need his back
fence fixed; in fact, he won't need the
parsonage; we can rent it, and the
proceeds will go toward operatin' ex.
penses.
conclusion, is to get in line, get up
to date, give the people what they
want. We have no way of judgin'
the future but by the past, as the fel.
Ter says. We know they amt no hui.
man bein' can measurA up to our re-
quirements, so let's take fall out
of science, and have enterprise and
business sense"
]. P. Wamsley reached for a match
did they accept your offer?" asked
his companion. II am anxious to
know how your plan worked. It has
many points in it's favor, confess"
NO. replied J. P. Wamsley, as he
meditatively puffed his cigar and
seemed to be lovingly reviewing the
past. mo, they didn't. I'm kind o.
sorry, too. I'd like to have seen the
thing tried myself. But" he added.
with slow and solemn wink, they
passed unanimous resolution calm
back the old pastor at an increased
salary"
II should say, then, that your tn
vention was success"
"Well, I didn't lose out on f. any.
how. I've got John Henry rugged up
with new bunch of whiskers, and
posin in my show window at Dewitt,
signin' the peace treaty, in an elegaa.
suit Of vi wool at $l1.50"