davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09
DRIFTW,ooD
BY PHIL IA. ARMsTRONG.

Now they say that the bite of the Gila monster is not fatal. Next thing sci neither Is that of the rattle-snake. and all his tends to make old man Prohibition hold his sides and die a-laushing.
 A St. Louis man got himself into trou- bie by writing Black Hand letters. asking for Sfoo SO he could get married and thus get into still more trouble.
 A play 1000 years old has just made a hit in Paris. so the comedy teams who con tinue oyer the vaudeville circuits with an- cient, feeble and bewhiskered jokes need not be discouraged.
 There are $50 har-tenders out of work in Boston. Is 1t possible that Georgia and Birmingham could have supplied that many already?
 The Kaiser. who has to worry along with measly little sSsseooo year wants his pay increased. May his wish want for the actual necessities of life, t
 Even Taft sinks into insienifieance with the advent of the baseball pitcher.
 Three new sun-spots are visible. Perhaps this sign will be interpreted to mean that the pa"nshop business has branehed out.
 The ancient Persians had e proverb which said The truest test of a great man is keeping his mouth shut" Our foremost politicians can hardly be made to see it that way. however
 Say did you ever meet the man who sl- ways wants to stop you and relate the newest bright thing his first baby has said?
 Prince de sagan is getting enough free advertising to make him a hit in vaude- vile.
 No; girls wouldn't walk that way if the men weren't looking.
 Every time we eat big red delicious B. E. B.. we are thankful we don't live in woeful Washington;
 Please paint the fence in front of the bleachers some other color besides a giar- ing white else furnish us with blue spectacles, MT, Chambers
 strawberry shortcake of about the cir conference of a Merry Widow hat pretty in Grand Old Texas.-Houston Post.
 Gee whiz-but money must be scarce out your way.
 Drift Armstrong of The Montgomery -Ad- vertiser claims to have discovered the iden- tity of the indigo-eyed albino who sent from his noisy demonstration of ecstasy infer her mother keeps a boarding house. Houston Post. .-l
 New York woman says 1t requires s2O.O0O a year to dress deeentIy. Every married man in town who has received bill for his wifes spring clothes will not rise up and doubt 1t.
 Denver woman in her haste to get to church picked up her husbands pants thinking she had her cloak. and walked down the aisle with 'em. When she discov- cred her mistake we presume her breath was also in pants.
 They are called Merry Widow Hats be- cause they laugh loud enough to wake the dead.
 
 Two Michigan men drank bay rum. CThe flowers were beautifully
 Isn't the Black Hand the Brownsville affair from Mir. Roosevelts viewpoint?
 About This Time. The crocus blooms adown the lane. Glad is the mocking- birds refrain love to catch springs sweet incense (When the patent medicine man paints
 the fence.)
 The azure sky is bending down To kiss the wood beyond the town The morning sun sheds golden tints . (When the patent medicine man paints
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09
of 1t. and the outlook fright

not sure of 1t. and the outlook fright ems them.
 On the other hand, the fear of the Republican members on whom the managers cannot count is acute but It is inspired from another source. They are afraid of their constituents. The sentiment against the maintenance of the high tariff rates Is spreading In quarters where the tariff used to have It's greatest strength. It is growing among the manufacturers, especially among those of the Middle West, who feel the burdens imposed on their ma terials, on iron and steel on leather on wood, and on the partly manufac- tured forms of these materials. It is intensified by the proofs that have been plenty in recent times that highly protected goods are sold cheap CT abroad than at home. The sense If resentment aroused is threatening even the strongest of the Republican lead CTS. The antl-tariff tide is rising. Be fore the campaign Is over 1t may pro- duce some marked changes
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09
WHO RULES THE HoUsEF
Three Men Have Said There Shall Be
 No Tariff Revision.

Boston Herald.
 Interesting reading for the American people who like to talk about the glo- ries of a free. representative govern ment is furnished by Congressman DalzelPs response to the petition for the repeal of duties on wood pulp and print paper. The multiplicity of bills and resolutions does not scare any body" said Mir. Dalzell At the com mencement of the session the Ways and Means Committee determined that there should be no tariff revision du- ring this session. That decision stands" !" According to Mir. DalzelPs idea, the Congress as a body has nothing to say in regard to the matter. The people of the country have no right to de- mand a hearing. The Ways and Means Committee rules the land. The as- founding fact is that Mir. Dalzell can back up his defiance. But he can, and does. He knows what he is talking about And a man who can at any time get the people to listen to a com plaint against the "oligarchy of the Senate" will find these same people unresponslve to the plain facts about the House and It's representative. czar-like control. There Is much in a name.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09
SENATOR LODGE
Could Not Secure the Massachusetts
 Delegation for Taft.

Could Not Secure the Massachusetts
 Delegation for Taft.
 Boston Special to New York. Evening
 Post
 In the wholly probable event of Gov ernor Longs election, Senator Lodge himself. If elected, will be the only avowed Taft man in the delegation-at- large and taking this with the action of the district conventions which seems likely to follow from the caucuses on Tuesday, it is clear that the results of the campaign for Taft in Massachusetts will fali so far short of the pfoclama- tion~that it must be regarded as fail- ure. It has been from the outset an attempt to help the forcing of Tafts nomination by throwing the weight of Massachusetts into his scale so far in advance of the convention as to affect the other States. This attempt has all ready failed, and 1t now looks as though Senator Lodge and half doz- en or so of the district delegates are all that will remain to the Secretary of War in Massachusetts.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09

From present indications Southwest Georgia will have what may properly be called bumper peach crop this year. or course no one can be abso- lutely sure that no adverse conditions will interfere with present prospects. but we certainly hope that nothing in the shape of a setback is to come Peaches are not only good. but very good, and we should like once more to see them plentiful and cheap. We are getting tired of prunes.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09

If any one wants a mummy. a pre- historic statue. or the remains of an Egyptian monarch he can have it man ufaetured in a certain town in Michi- gan, where they have run down a con cern which manufactures such things to order and warrants them to be gen uine. There's no liimt to the fake in- dustry. 1t appsarA
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09
RaI0nRaa.

crystalline body that he calls trieho- toxin is regarded by pr. Delos S. Parker as active agent in producing badness. It is carried in the blood. being chiefly produced in the lungs. and it can be de- tected in the evhalde air. The fact that females who breathe more fully-are less effected with badness than males Is cited as evidence supporting the theory. It is concluded that persons who are losing their hair should practise breathing exercises and the investigation seems to have shown fur ther that turpentine Is superior to the usual remedies as a local application.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09
THE GREAT TALkER.

The Richmond Journal looks on the President as little more or less than an animated graphophone Hear this:
 As a talking machine he rivals the American's Idea of Bryan. He has talked from the lake shores of Canada to the canebrakes of Florida and criss crossed the continent with gusts of speech. He has expressed opinions on all subjects to all listeners from the articles of international peace to angry growls at nature fakists.
 We challenge history to show Pres ident who has uttered SO many words on SO many and diverse subjects, from Washington, the paternal of his coun- try. to the talking machine himself Congress is always in trepidation when a window opens in the White House and the ringing of a phone bell sets the Senate In a flutter.
 Roosevelt is a talher, for fact. Nc President before him has made such a record for tongue-work. and the great est trouble about 1t is that he so fire. quently talks at random. If he would
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09
ASPHALT GOES UP
What May Happen Should We Exclude
 Venezuelan Product

New York Herald.
 It Is rather an odd coincidence that simultaneously with the announcement of the tentative plan of the govern ment to discipline President Castro. which includes the exclusion of Der mudez asphalt sent from Venezuela. contracting concerns nave raised their bids for maintaining, the city pave ments from S3 cents last year<to $1.43 now, for square yard of asphalt paw Ing. As result Borough President Ahearn demands more money to keep the streets in repair
 Government plans to coerce Venezue- la have as yet nothing to do with the advance in asphalt paving. but the in:- cident is illuminative of the control over prices already possessed by the asphalt trust. This will not be weak ened if the proposed method of dealing with Venezuela is carried Into effect. It Is calculated to throw an additional burden upon the tax payers, in the same manner that a higher tax on Venezuelan cofree, would penalize cof- fee planters. merchants, and consumers. Some better method than one. .calculat- ed to make innocent persons suffer should be devlsed in dealing with the Venezuelan problem.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09
MAInR rHos. J. KEY.
A Fine Citizen and Splendid Soldier | Gnrn fn His Reaf.

GOEB 10 HIS hests
 Many of the citizens of Alabama will learn with regret of the death on Mon day last of Major Thos. J. Key, at his home in Nashville, Tenn. He lived in Montgomery several years and devoted his ability. energy and time to improv- inG agricultural methods and to en- couraging the raising of stock. Major Key was a gallant Confederate soldier and one of the truest of men. The Nashville Banner of Tuesday contains the following just tribute to him:
 "dstor Thomas J. Key, who was for forty years a factor in the development of the agricultural resources of this section. died early Monday morning at his home s72 Mansfield Street, after a sickness lasting but a few hours.
 Major Key was considered an au- tn ority on all technical subjects per tainins to farming. and since 1869 had been editor of The Southern Agricul- turist. which he established in Louis vile just after distinguished service as the commander of Keys Battery in General Pat Cleburne's brigade during the civil war
 Major Key was horn in Bolivar, Tenn, January IT. 1881, and was there fore 77 years of age at the time of his Asath. He was a member of the Leg
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09
SETTLING A SCORE.

Oliver of Tennessee to Lead the south-
 ern Anti-Taft Forces.
 washington Special to New York ". J. Oliver of .Knoxville, Tenn. is in Washington and Is in consuitaffon with the allies" in reference to tak- Ing control of their campaign in the south. He Is the man who recently attempted, by main force. to wrest control of the Tennessee Republican n Convention from the Taft forces.
 He has indicated willingness to ac. forces and try to take the South from Taft. The matter has not been fully settled. however. "The allies" charge that Oliver has been promised per mission to name a Federal judge in East Tennessee if he win support Taft.
 Oliver has a score to settle with IafL and the administration because he was euchred out of the contract for the construction of the Panama Canal.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09

The Columbus Ledger is not prepared to admit that the $1,0o0 Easter hat displayed in that city caused nervous ness among the men. It rather thinks that they were so shocked and dazed that they couldn't be nervous.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09

Representative Beall, of Texas, speaking of presidential usiirpations, says it is altogether the fault of the House and the Senate because they have abdicated the power given them by the Constitution and sit supinely at the feet of the President of the United States" Score one for Beall.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09

The Mayor of Denver puts forth a timely warning to the delegates who will attend the Democratic Convention in that city, telling them to remernDer that Denver is a mile up in the air" We'll. let us indulge in thsAbppe that the convention will not also be "up in the air" ... M
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09

The New Orleans World Is waging war on quacks and quackeries. but not a word is said about quackeresses. Aren't there any in the Crescent City?
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09

The New Orleans World speaks of running for office in a balloon" Seems to us as if that is more like flying for office.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09
SWORN CIRCULATION.

The Montgomery Advertiser guarantees it's advertisers (and makes it part or the contract when requested) that It's daily GIT circulation is larger than that of any morn. ing newspaper printed in Alabama-and that It's Sunday. edition has the largest cir culation of any edition of any newspaper printed in Alabama without exception.
 The figures for March printed below rep resent the actual net circulation. all re- turns having been deducted
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09

Of course the Girl ain't saying That; She only knows that with that Hat
 She has to leave the S-Walk now To get around that great Pow-Wow. 2 But let her get into the Street
 For Art outweighs her muddy Feet
 (Unless, indeed--ungallan Thought!-- They are much larger than they ought.) The Art I speak of, as you know.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09

Is Anecdotage, old and rIow,
 (And please remark that there's a Pun Not near as good as some I've donel. The Men pursuin' of that Art
 Have taken the S-waik's largest part And that is why the Girl alert Is liftin' of her dainty Skirt;
 And why the hopeless looking Man Is getting by the Best he can.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09

I really think the Artist here
 Has made the whole Thing very clear;
 But he admires. me So this Morn Has asked the Poet to adorn ~ A Picture that doth plainly tell The Leftmcst Man is saying-well. Something quite in Rhyme with Tell.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09

Net sunday Average. March, 1908 .20.400
 
 E. s. Mobile, Circulation Manager of The Montgomery Advertiser. being duly sworn. eays;
 The foregoing statement of The Adverti- eer's circulation for the month of March, 1s0s Is true and correct. and compiled af- ter all returns from newsboys. news agents. spoiled and leftover copies have been de- ducted E. s. NOBLE. Sworn to and subscribed before me this (sEAI.1 RIGA ALEXANDER,
 Notary Public.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-09
About This Time

The crocus blooms adown the lane. Glad is the mocking- birds refrain ' love to catch springs sweet incense (When the patent medicine man paints
 the fence) The azure sky is bending down To kiss the wood beyond the town The morning sun sheds golden tints (When the patent medicine man paints
 the fence)
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-01-12
a School COINAGE.

It is not a generally known fact that
the BIuecoat school (Christ's hospitaD
once possessed coinage OF Its own.
At that time the coin OF the realm
could not be used at the hospital. Be
fore he could buy anything In the
"tuck shop new boy had to get one
Of the beadles, who were the school
money changers, TO change his shillings
and pence into house money" as II
was called. This was made Of cop
per, the coins being octagonal In shape
with their value stamped on them
These curious coins are now very rare
md numBmatists possessing any an
fortunate. -L London Captaitl
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-01-12

Richter wrote: I'VE should not let
trifles merely plague us-they should
also crafty us. We should seize no.
their poison bags only. but their honey
bags. too Liberal advertising af.
fords a simple method OF turning
critics to useful en6s-of taking the
sting out Of small events; Of coming
advantages and profit from little busi-
ness annoyances-of selling the hon
ey bags" OF the most trifiing trifieS
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-01-12

One of the first things a young
tousekeeper should put on her list
of things for the pantry is Hunts
Perfect baking powder and extracts
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-01-12

Flannelette will be- sold at those
bargain prices for a few days longer
at Webb Bros
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-01-12

80 percent discount on Mems and
Boys Suits at The Fair Department
store.
Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-01-12

Shoe Sale still going on at Webb
Bros.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-05-06

Pork pie Is an English delicaoy
whio'. the American tripper never for
gets. The Housekespsr has captured
the recipe: Take three pounds Of
lean fresh pork cut into strips as long
as your finger, six large, juicy apples
two tablespoonfuls Of sugar, two table
spoonfuls Of butter, one cupful Of
sweet cider and salt and mace tc
taste. Have a good pie crust for an
upper crust. Put a layer Of pork
within pudding dish; season with
pepper, salt, nutmeg or mace. Next
q layer Of sliced apples. strewed with
sugar and bits of butter. Go on In this
order until you are ready for the crust
having the last layer Of apples. Pour
IN the cider, cover with thick crust
Of good pastry, ornamented around the
edge; make a slit in the middle, ant
bake in a moderate oven one hour anC
a half. Should the crust threaten t
brown too fast cover with paper
When nicely Drowned brush ovel
with butter and close the oven dool
for q moment; then wash well witt
the white OF an egg Serve hot.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-05-06
EWYTH G
But THAT

Father" saia TIE milhonaire's love
y daughter. Il wish g speak with you
about 8 very important matter, II your
mind is thoreughly composed. ! can
wait il you are bothered By basiAeaa
aGairs 50 that yau cannot giro me
your entlrs attention.. This Is sone-
thing that ! want you . oonsides with
clear mind"
"gO ahead. Business amt botherin'
me any more Just new that It ia ever
likely 10, What's the matterl"
Il am loved"
"Oh."
And I Loves
@Well, II the fellow has never been
oaHght In anything crooked and there's
no insanity in his family, ! guess I'll
have to let you have him"
But walt, father dear. You have
not heard all. There u insanity IL
his family. His grandfather was crazy.
two Of his uncles died in tho mad
houso, and his only brother n hope
less lunatio. Even be has been called
eccentric.
Merely that, and nothin' moFe2"
Alas, there Is more. He has 3
withered arm and q clubfoot, and his
chin recedes in such a way as to make
bis upper teeth project somewhat ike
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-05-06

ahia -tbat ats tte maE GFs ha
shesL So 50 I've sid zaaa lay
hI1 pqrloaal Appearance 80 againgi
him But yer ean1 have him
"Fathor- aon't-ioa't tav nat I
am sure 8si ~ eYa me ieH myasN
alono.
h9hbg he aseE; but I've thonshi
aboat thls matlsg q gosd deal. and
iong aes / made 81 my mina that 4
you wan bound to marry a foreigner
With a title ia stand The fun the news.
papers would poke at na-I dsddsd 30
stand It for your sake. Anything to
maks you happy. You can imagine
what they'd SAY 4 you was % go and
marry such 3 count e. this one you
speak Of; bit I'd StsRd al that # I
knew I was maxim You happy"
why Dc you say, tAsA. that I can't
have him?"
Because want you b understand,
III, that I'm too sol burned seod an
American % have q son,iR-law with a
name that / c0aldn't no more pro
nounce than / could say the Deolara-
ton Of Independence backward. That's
where I draw the linel - Chicago REQ
ord-Hsrald.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-05-06

those Of a squirrel. / discovered ah
most at the start that did not love
him for his looks"
Huh. / guess you didn't have to
be much Of a discoverer either, did
your"
Let US not be Hlppant, father. The
matter is too serious for that love
Batczhenyonyi'
"Bat-what?"
"Batczhenyonyi."
"Are you talking about the fellow
now or something to drink?"
Il am speaking Of the count"
"Oh. the count? / see. This Bat.
what-you-call-him's count is he?"
yes. Count Batczhenyoni PrzchE-
stetcs."
Hold on, now, Lil-hold on right
there. You know I've always tried to
be a kind father to you I've tried to
do everything | could to make you
happy, and I'm going to keep On In
that line II you'll let me. II you want
to marry a man that comes Of a crazy
family and is half crazy himself, II
amt for me 70 say no. because as the
poet says it'a q mighty little way from
the temple Of fame to the bughouse,
after all. or words TO that effect. ]
amt goin' to run man down because
be has a bum wing or q game foot,
either. for such things are acts Of
Providencs. and not for US to hold up
against anybody. AS for his face. ]
viii say that one Of tne best men
ever knew had to wear whiskers to
keep people from findln' out that be
hadn't any chin worth mentionin'.
Some folks have an old-fashioned .dea
that a man can't amount to much II
be amt got a chin that takes longer
% pass & given point than he does,
but that's al fol-ds-rol Il amt the
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-05-06

IN New Caledonia, New Guinea and
in the Malay archipelago ths OOnsHmp
ton Of earth as food Is comparatively
common. In Java and sumatra a GER
tain kind Of clay undergoes a preIiml
nary preparation, being mixed with
water reduced 70 paste, and the
sand and other hard substances re
moved. Ths clay is then made into
small tablets o. cakes about Is thick
as lead pencil and baked il an iron
saucepan. When the process IL over
the cake Of earth resembles q piece Of
dried pork. The Javansse eat small
figures roughly modelled from clay
made to imitata animals, birda or men
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-05-06

The original "Thunderer" Of Print
Ing House square was not as many
people suppose. the famous newspaper
itself but one Of lis writer's, Capt. Ed
ward Sterling, who. after being called
10 the bar and serving as volunteer
during the Irish rebellion. finished a
versatile career on the star OF the
Times. Capt. Sterling was q we'll
known figure In London political cir
Giles and was father ol the most "a
nous John Sterling, critic. essAyiat
and friend Of Wordsworth. Coleridge
and De Quincy.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-05-06

First published May 4, 1909
NOTICE or HEARING PETITION
FOR APPOINTMENT OF
ADMINISTRATORS
STATE OF OKLAHOMA,
GRADY COUNTY. SIS
IN County Court
in THE MATTER OF THE ESTATE
OF ELLA GREY. DECEASED.
To the Heirs, Next Of Kin and Cred
itors Of Ella Grey deceased;
You are hereby notified that R. J.
Grey has applied TO the county court
OF Grady county, state Of Oklahoma,
for letters Of administration on the
estate OF Ella Grey. deceased. TO be
granted to R. J. Grey and that said
application win be heard IN the court
room Of Raid court in the city Of Chick
asha In said county. on the 10th day
OF May. 1908, at o'clock, D. m, at
which time and place any perscn inter
ested may appear and show cause II
any they have why such petition
should not be granted
Witness my hand and the seal Of tho
sad court hereunto aiaxed this second
day Of May, 1908.
n. II. WILLIAMS.
5-4-10td County Judge.