davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
Trzsfb and
Quality

appeal to the Uniformed in every
walk of life and are essential to permanent
success and creditable standing. Accor-
ingly, it is not claimed that Syrup Of Figs
and Elixir of SIENNA is the only remedy Of
known value, but one of many reasons
why it is the best of personal and family
laxatives is the fact that it cleanses,
swcetens and relieves the internal organs
on which it acts without any facilitating
after effects and without having to increase
the quantity from time to time.
1t acts pleasantly and naturally and
truly as a laxative, and its component
parts are known to and approved by
physicians, as it is free from all objection
able substances. To get its beneficial
effects always purchase the genuine
manufactured by the California Fig Syrup
Co., only, and for sale by all leading drug
gists.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
Billion Dollar Grass.

Most remarkable grass of the century.
Good for three rousing crops annually.
One Iowa farmer on 100 acres sold 49,.
10000 worth of seed and had 300 tons of
hay besides. 1t is immense. Do try it.
For 10c AND THIS NOTICE
send to the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La
Crosse, Wis. to pay postage, etc, ana
they will mail you the only original seed
catalog published in America with sam.
piles of Billion Dollar Grass Macaroni
Wheat. the sly miller mixer. Sainfoin the
dry soil luxuriator. Victoria Rape, the Zoe
ton green food producer, Silver King
Barley yielding l73 bu per acre, etc, ETC.,
etc.
And if you send l4c we will add pack
age of new farm seed never before seen
by you John A. Salzer Seed Co., La
Crosse, Wis. X. g. w.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
CURED HER CHILDREN.
Girls Suffered with Itching Eczema
Baby Had Tender Skin, Too
Relied on Cuticura Remedies.

Some years ago my three little
girls had very bad form of eczema.
Itching eruptions formed on the backs
Of their heads which were simply COW
cred. tried almost everything, but
failed. Then my mother recommended
the Cuticura Remedies. washed my
children's heads with Cuticura Soap
and then applied the wonderful ONT
ment, Cuticura. / did this four or five
times and l can say that they have
been entirely cured. / have another
baby who is so plump that the folds of
skin on his neck were broken and even
bled. I used Cuticura Soap and Cuti-
cura Ointment and the next morning
the trouble had disappeared Nine.
Napoleon Duceppe, Al Duluth ST.,
Montreal, Que, May 81, 1907"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
EXCELLENT FOR COLDS.

Mix two ounces of glycerine with
half pint of good whiskey and add one
half ounce of Concentrated oil of Pine.
The bottle is to be well shaken each
time and used in doses of a teaspoon.
full to a tablespoonful every four
hours. The true Concentrated Oil OF
Pine comes put up for medicinal uses
only in half ounce walls sealed in tin
screw-top cases and is product of the
laboratories of the Globe Pharmaceuti
cal Co., Dayton, O. The ingredients
all can be gotten at any drug store.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
RESOLVED TO sNue EVE.
Mrs. lnthesWlm Intended to Draw So.
clal Line in Heaven.

The minister had dropped in to tea,
and the conversation had drifted
through various channels to the Ques.
ton of whether or not we should know
each other in heaven. Presenting that
our physical beings would be perpetu-
ated, and that recognition would be as
sured, the minister had asked various
ones at the table among whom the Bib
lical characters they would be most
interested in recognizing.
Some mentioned one prophet and
some another, but one lady, noted for
her social exclusiveness, had not
spoken. Turning to her the minister
said: And who would you like to meet
in heaven, Mrs. Intheswim?"
Mrs. Intheswim pursed her lips. II
really don't know" she said, but there
is one thing l do know, and that Is
that shouldn't care to meet Eve. In
fact, l don't know that would speak
to her II / did"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

HlsS BESSIE FARRELL 1011 Third
|M Ave-, Brooklyn, N. Y, is Presi-
s6f,t of the Young Peoples Christian
T'4s, perance Association. She writes:
s,Peruna is certainly valuable nerve
Ind blood remedy, calculated to build
III fhe brolxen-down health of orn-out
omen. / have found by personal ex-
urf1ence that it acts as wonderful re-
sSSlAer of lost strength, assisting the
1{aipach to assimilate and digest the
IA. and building NJ worn-out tissues.
Iu INV work l have had occasion to
Icsommend it freely, especially to
uoknen.
Z III know of nothing which Is better to
mud up the strength of a young mother,
n fact, all the ailments peculiar to
i~<ynen, SO I am pleased to give it my
he4rtv endorsement"
0r. Hartman has prescribed Peruna
~ many thousand women, and he
;S<ser fails to receive a multitude Of
78xters like the above, thanking him
The wonderful benefits received.
Man-a.Iin the Ideal Laxative.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
Deafness cannot Be Cured

BY local applications as they cannot reach the de
Deafness and that is by remedies
Deafness is caused by an innamed condition OF the
mucous lining OF the Eustachisn Tube. When this
tube 10 innamed you have rumbng sound or i'm
perfect hearing and when 1t 10 entirely closed Deaf
ness 10 the result and unless the nlammati be
taken aud this tube restored 10 its normal condi
ton, hearing will be destroyed foreyer nine cases
out Of ten caused by Catarrh, which 10 nothing
but an innamed condition of the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case Of
Deafness tcaused by catarrh) that cannot be cured
by Halls Cstarrh Cure Send for circulars, free.
F. CHENEY Il CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Asll's FAMILY Pins for constipation.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
Similar Result.

There are certain delicate shades Of
expression of which Frenchman is,
as a rule, past master. One member
of that fluent nation. stranded in New
York, was setting forth his troubles to
a lawyer
Il understand from what you say
that you are convinced your friend Le-
comte has stolen your purse" said the
lawyer.
mo, no, monsieur, not so fast!"
cried his client. Il only say that If Le-
comte had not assisted me to hunt for
it l should have found 1t again.
Youths Companion.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
How the Governor Felt.

Gov. Hughes recently addressed the
West End Woman's Republican club
OF New York and remarked In the
course of his talk: "My happiness on
this occasion may be compared with
the young lady on her first visit to
Venice. l believe she wrote her init
mate friend as follows: L am here
on the Grand Canal, drinking it all in
She added: LIES never seemed SO
full before"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

and grew too weak to work. Though
constantly using medicine l despaired
of being cured until l began taking
Doan's Kidney Pills. Then relief came
quickly. and in short time l was
completely cured. l am now in ex-
cellent health"
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents a box.
F'oster.Milburn Co. Buffalo. N. Y
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

Mrs. Ryetop-John, how much time
elapses between the second and third
acts?
Mr. Ryetop-The program says six
months, Maria.
Mrs. Ryetop (aghast)-Six months.
John? Lands, we can't wait! Why,
them buckwheat cakes I left to riz
will have gone clear through the roof
by that time.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
As a Substitute.

Mrs. Parkway-lt must be lonesome
when your husband has to make one
of his long canvassing trips and be
away from home for week or more.
Mrs. Nexblok-Yes; but Harry is
real thoughtful. He has taught the
parrot to use just the kind of Ian
guage he uses when he's about The
house himself.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
In a Pinch, Use ALIENS FooT-EAsE.

A powder. 1t cures painful, smart
ing, nervous feet and ingrowing nails.
it's the greatest comfort discovery of
The age. Makes new shoes easy. A
certain cure for sweating feet. Sold
oy all Druggists. Csc. Accept no sub
stitute. Trial package, FREE. Ad-
iress A. S. Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

l had a bad fall and
It affected my kid.
neys. Severe pains
in my back and hips
became constant, and
sharp twlnges fol-
lowed any exertion.
The kidney secre-
tons were badly dis
colored. | lost flesh
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

Digestive Difficulties? Headache? Sal.
low complexion? The remedy is Garfield
Tea, the Herb Laxative. Write for sam
Piles. Garfield Tea Co., Brooklyn, N. Y.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
Gone, ANYHOW.

Mr.. Jawback-That boy gets his
brains from me.
Mrs. Enthusiastically got 'em
from you, If you ever had any-thats
a cinch.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

Whatever we really are, that let us
be in all fearlessness. Whatever we
are not, that let us cease striving to
seem to be.-Toybee.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

The average mans idea Of a good
sermon is one that goes over his head
and hits one of his acquaintances.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

If wishes were coal heaps we'd none
Of US freeze.-Detroit Free Press.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

It is her winning ways that often
snable a woman to get the better OF a
nan in the matrimonial game.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
WHAT CAUSES HEADACHE.

From October to May, Colds are the most FIRE.
Quent cause of Headache. LAXATIVE BROMO
QUININE removes cause. EW Grove on box ESQ
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

Mrs. Winslows Soothing Syrup.
For children teething softens the gums reduces In
aAInm allays pain, cures wind collie Csc bottle
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

PILES CURED IN TO IA DAYS.
PAZO OINTMENT Is guaranteed to cure any case
Df Itching Blind. Bleeding or Protruding Piles in
Ito IL days or money refunded. Doc.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
SPITE.

Proud Mother-Everybody says the
baby looks like me.
Her Brother-The spiteful things
don't say that to your face, do they?
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

An average yield Of ginger In ia
maica is about 1000 pounds an acre.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

Some silence may be golden, but
much of 1t is ironical
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
Prosaic pa,

katherine" called the old gentle
man from the top of the stairway,
ARE you still telling that young man
good night in the vestibule?"
Yes, pa" called the fond daugh.
ter.
well, don't you know you are
wasting the light?"
"Oh. what's the difference. 1t is
love that makes the world go round"
yes, and II also makes the gas
meter 60 round"
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
HER GOOD FORTUNE.
After Years Spent in Vain Effort.

Mrs. Mary E. II. Rouse, OF Cam
bridge, N. Y. saws: give years ago
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05
Inonortant "a Mothera.

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA safe and sure remedy for
infants and children. and see that II
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

Goethe: There is nothing more
!rightful than ignorance in action.
The Spanish Fork press. [volume] (Spanish Fork, Utah) 1902-current, 1908-03-05

SUDDEN Changes OF tbs Weather
often cause Bronchial and Lung trou-
bles. Browns Bronchial Troches" al.
lay throat irritation and coughs.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-05-15
Lord Kitchener's Sarcasm.

England's great military chieftain,
Lord Kitchener, has pitiIess contempt
for anything which savors of effeminacy
IN a man. This is Illustrated by an Incl
dent which occurred soon after his re-
turn to England from his Egyptian ex-
plolts. He was accosted by a young lord
VINO had an annoying zeal for collecting
the autographs of distinguished persons.
Meeting Kitchener, he gushed:
DO me the honor to pencil your name
on this, Lord Kitchener (producing a
lace handkerchief), and IN have the
autograph worked in silk and keep it
forever in memory of the hero of Khar-
toum''
Your sisters" I presume" said
Kitchener, shifting at the scented hand
kerchief
mo, it's my own. A very pretty pat
tern, isn't it?'
Very said Kitchener, in a dry way,
passing the handkerchief back unsigned.
What is your taste in hairpins, by the
way ?'-Philadeiphi Press.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-05-15
The Swear Wheel.

The clergyman retreated from the golf
course, shaking his head and smiling in
shocked way.
Il think" he said, "that 1 shall get
out an invention for golfers, a swear
wheel. 1t seems badly needed here.
You know the Burmese prayer
Wheels" he went on. THE Burmese
have prayer wheels that resemble pin
wheels, and it is by turning his wheel
that the Burmese always prays.
Now do you grasp my idea? | should
equip all these explosive and profane
golfers with swear wheels, and then.
when man bungled stroke, he could
give his swear wheel few angry turns,
and in silence, with no offense to rever-
ent ears, his outburst of profanity would
But, harkp'
An elderly, red-faced golfer, having
missed an easy stroke, threw his club on
the turf, and with clenched fists and an
apoplectic expression filled the air with
oaths and blasphemy. =.
"Oh, for one of my swear wheels, y
said the clergyman, shuddering, "to put
in that bad old boys hands"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-05-15
Not the Same Man.

Illicit distilling is not so prevalent in
Judge Speer's district in southern Geor-
gia as it formerly was. but it is not in
frequently the case that a distiller of
mountain dew" appears before him to
have sentence passed: One such often,
der recently was Joshua King, an old
negro. Joshua had been caught in the
act by the revenue officers, and there
was nothing for him to do save plead
guilty.
the old negro awaited the Judgment OF
the court. His honor regarded the Old
darky for a moment, as though deliberat-
ing what punishment should be melted
out to him. Then, as though his memory
had finally solved a point upon. which 1t
had been at fault, the judge, said:
Joshua, Joshua, why, Joshua, you are
the man who made the sun stand STILL
aren't you?" Ito
that of most darkies of his class, had
been neglected.
ho NJ Md %" arse de man what made the
moonshine. Augusta Chronicle.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-05-15
WHAT'S Pe-u-na?
tia Catarrh Remedy, or a Tonic.
or is ii BOfh2

pgOpIe call Peruna great tonic Others refer to Pera o.
rbrmedy, , :a.o
these people are right? Is it proper to call Peruna
Hua1v than call it tonic? ~" " Ca
r that peruna Is Ooth tonic and catarrh remedy Indeed
thoroughly relieve any catarrh remedy rs4
specific action on the mucous membranes affected by catah but t
49, general tonic action the nervous system " ~
% even who otherwise strong ia xre.1ana -.
mucous There must be something strengthen the
give tone to the arteries and to raise the vital forces
medical writer's as HYDRAST1s CANADENsIs The wonderful eaaoacv
herb been recognized many years. and growing its hold
the medical profession When Joined with CUBEBs and COPAIBA a
medical agents formed in Peruna which constitutes specific
that the present state Of medical progress cannot he inn
n This action reinforced by such renowned tonnes a
ANADENsIs CORYDAL1S FORM0sA CEDRON SEED oupht
ideal remedy for and
hhdy.
confirms this opinion Numberless testimonials from
the furnish that this judgement Is not
When practical experience confirms theory the
rHa truth that cannot be shaken.
hded PERUNA DRUG MANUFACTURING COMPANY Columbus Ohio
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-05-15
One on the Professor,

The scholarly William E. Byerly, pro.
fessor of mathematics at Harvard, was
once asked by student how to develop
a retentive memory. The professor an
swered that ordinary mental exercise
was sufficient to secure a good memory
whereat the student asked if he might
test the mental capacity of his in
structor. Prof. Byerly agreed, and the
student asked him to listen to and re
member several varied items for a test
He began:
Zone quart of whisky"
''Umr' said the professor.
six pounds of sugar, a pint of soul
milk, three onions, half gallon of mo-
lasses, and two raw eggs"
UNI said the professor.
1.-TWO green apples, twenty-six pea
four mince pies"
''Umw said the professor.
"a package of starch, sixty-sever
cakes of yeast, and the skins of sever
bananas. Got that down.
Yes answered DR.: Byerly.
How does it taste?' asked the stu
dent.-Boston Herald
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-05-15
CHANGE IN FOOD



It is worth knowing that change
in food can cure dyspepsia. L deem II
nv duty to let you know how Grape
Nuts food has cured me of indigestion.
81 had been troubled with it Tor
years, until last year my doctor recon-
mended Grape-Nuts food to De useo
everv morning. / followed instructions
and now 1 am entirely we'll.
'rhe whole family like Grape-Nuts'
we 11se four packages a week. You are
welcome to use this Testimonial as you
see fit"
The reason this lady was helped Dy
tbe use of GrapeNuts food, is lhat II
is nredigested by natural processes ana
therefore does not tax the stomach as
the food she had been using; IL also
contains the elements required lor
building up the nervous system II una.
mart of the human body is IN perIect
working order, there can be no dyspep-
STA. for nervous energy represents Tue
steam that drives the engine.
When the nervous system is run
down the machinery of the body works
hadly. Grape Nuts food can be USED oy
small children as we'll as adults. IL IS
PERFECTLY cooked and ready for instant
use. .v, -
Ra,d ~rhe Road to MELVILLE" IN
nkps There's a Reason"
Ever read the above letter. A
new one appears from time to time:
They are genuine, true, and ruiz OF
human interest.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-05-15
CRIMINALS MEN OF SCIENCE.
To Outwit Them Detectives Must Make
Use of Modern Methods.

The methods employed by criminals
have improved They have become
scientific, most scientific. The criminal OF
today handles chloroform, opium, NOR
pha. with all the cleverness OF phy-
stefan.
Again. the tools used by the modern
iailhird are unrivalled masterpieces. One
amazing proof of the scientific knowledge
of the modern criminal and his Keen
ness in keeping abreast of modern dis
coyeries lies in the following fact: Ike
Gently in Marseilles the huge safe OF
a bank was rapidly opened by means OF
a complicated apparatus which had only
been invented by prominent engineer
ten months previously! =.
But the detective also avails himself
of scientific discovery. Formerly IN cases
of forgery, for instance. drop OF water
was placed on the formed words. Ii the
paper had been scratched and its size
removed. the water was Immediately
sucked in; if the paper had not been
scratched the drop remained for a While
on the top This process was primitive
and spoiled the document.
Nowadays the suspicious. paper is
photographed and on the proof the marks
Of scratching are easily detected by clear
differences in the color. photography is
used also i'll the case of forgeries made
by means of chemicals.
When a heap of burned documents is
found in the fireplace thin sheets OF glass
are inserted between the burned papers
AS soon as one sheet is on the glass it
is rendered less brittle by means of a spe-
cial liquid and it is unfolded and photo
graphed. The process is repeated with
every sheet. and after few hours all
the documents are easily read.
A process formerly used for the CLASH
fication of blood stains consisted IN ex-
aiming them under the microscope and
from the appearance of the red gllobules
the Investigators would draw their con
clusions as to the nature of the blood
Unfortunately this examination gave no
result when the blood stains We're not
recent.
Today a more scientific method is used
The stain is washed: a few drops of the
water used are poured into a tube con
tanning some specific serum from a rab-
hit inoculated with human blood When
the addition of water produces III the
serum a fine deposit and gives a misty
appearance to the liquid one can be per-
fectlv certain that the blood stains We're
human-Chicago Tribune.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-05-15
BABY's ECZEMA GREW WORSE

Hospitals and Doctors Could Not
Relieve Him-But Cuticura Rem En-
dies a Speedy, Permanent Cure.
Eczema appeared when our baby
was three months olds We applied to
several doctors and hospitals, each OF
which gave US something different
every time, but nothing brought relief
At last, one Of our friends recommend
ed to us Cuticura Soap and Cuticura
Ointment. A few days afterwards i'm.
provement could be noted. Since then
we have used nothing but Cuticura
Soap and Cuticura Ointment, and now
the baby is six months old and is quite
cured. All that we used was one cake
of Cuticura Soap and two boxes Cuti'
cura Ointment, costing in all $1.25. G.
F. Kara, 343 East Goth Street, New
York. March 80, 1906"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-05-15
Beware of OintmentS for Catarrh
that Contain Mercury,

as mercury will surely destroy the sense Of
smell and completely derange the whole sys-
tenn when entering it through the mucous
surfaces Such articles should never be
used except on prescriptions from reputable
physicians, as the damage they will do is
from them. Halls Catarrh Cure, manufac-
tured by F. J. Cheney & Co., Toledo, O., con-
tains no mercury, and is taken Internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system In buying Halls
Catarrh Cure be sure you get the genuine.
1t is taken internally and made in Toledo,
Ohio, by F. j. Cheney & Co. Testimonials
free.
Sold by Druggists. Price, Use. per bottle
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-05-15
An Early Coin Sweater.

"Coin sweating" which so often fig
ures in the Old Bailey calendar, is a
very, very old crime. More than six
centuries before Christ there was a coin
sweater. one Alexander of Byzantium
He was the chief officers of the pub
lie treasury, and he amassed an i'm
mense and sudden fortune by clipping
the money in SO skillful manner that
his frauds could only be discovered by
weighing.
The Byzantines gave him the nick
name of The File" from his making
such dexterous use of that tool. Whence
probably comes the modern term of
"file" applied to thieves. pickpockets and
cunning, hardheade. coundrels.-Pear-
sons Weekly
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-05-15
AccnmnliceS.

A rival to the celebrated Mrs. Mala-
prop is to be found in a certain New
York street car conductor. The other day
party of several women boarded his
car. They were not able to find seats
together, and two sat on the opposite
side from the others. The woman who
paid the fares for the group offered the
conductor a half dollar, neglecting to
mention how many fares were to be
taken from it.
You're paying for these four here
he said, indicating those who sat in
line with her of the purse, "and," wav-
ing his hand in the direction of the two
on the opposite side, "are those ladies
implicated ?''-New York Times.