davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
AFTER THE TIMEs-DIsPATCH.

\ CORRESPONDENT. who signs himself
~ Justice" writes to the Richmond
Times Dispatch as follows: ".At the
bottom of lynching and night-rdIng there
is basic virtue-a demand for the purity
OF race in the one case. and the sic semper
t2rannis' spirit In the other" OF course. OF
course. They are all honorable men.-Co-
lunbia State.
Grub hub OF the world is what Colonel
Henry Sydnor Harrison. of the Richmond
Times Dispatch. calls Richmond. Huh! The
grub of Rusty Richmond is coarse and un-
carny compared with the sanity grub of
sonville "spoke' driven into the Richmond
"hub?"-Jacksonville Times-union.
Henry Sydnor Harrison calls Richmond
the grub hub of the world. Harrison is
a renegade Virglnian, solacing the misery
paradise left behind. What business of his
IS 1t that the Democrats of Richmond eat
each other with trimming of committee
saUce? The favorte dish in Texas this
sprng is Bailey done brown" 1t is only
in Norfolk that political cannibalsm finds
no MISUNDERSTANDING Nirginian-Piot.
The Richmond Times Dispatch notes the
fact that Lillian Russell recently visited
Houston. Tex. and escaped without marry
lug. Lillian is red -headed and widow in
the third fourth degree. and that kind
arc safe against matrmony in Houston.
Tex.--Chattanoosa Times. Now see here:
We have been given to understand that no
red headed woman Is safe from matrimony
in that city. The fact that she Is some
what numerous widow shouldn't be any bar
not In Houston, at any rate-Montgomery
Advertiser.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

AS this is written, the Richmond base.
ball team had a score of 1000 in the
percentage tables. In common kind
NESS, however, we implore members Of
the United States Tailend Association
throughout the country to hold their
scornful and bitter remarks in leash for
a brief while and stand back and give
us chance.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
Lady Toad, Thousand year. old.

Z Mrs. Spade Foot, the lady toad IN
Bronx Park, who had been asleep
speaking terms with any OF her tribe
since back in the subpaleozoic age. She
went to sleep long, long ago, and the
limestone formed about her, and few
smashed her couch She was brought
TO the New York geological Gardens
and was watched with great interest.
A week or so ago Mrs, Spade Foot boz
gan to- wake, up and take notice. She
ate q. lyFor two, and this was greeted
as the breaking Of her fast OF 1000
years: Now she As building z nest--
New York Herald. ~ 5'.Ja 81
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

The Norfolk Virgin1an-Pilot appears
TO think our reference to Richmond as
the grub hub OF the world was in some
way a slam at this city. VIII our con-
fused contemporary understand us bet
ter If we state. simply, that Richmond
is admitted by leading astronomers and
political economists to be the whites
axis of the solar system:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
Rhymes for To-Day
MORE L1MELlGl1r ON sorHY.
- oPHr's as cross as a couple OF
sticks,
- Fresh as the earliest spring
\ timely flower,
~ Hard in the. lead as drny-
load OF bricks,
Bitter and suriy and grouchy

~ I1dTu III lne neAu as Il Gray.
load OF bricks,
Bitter and suriy and grouchy
and sour.
Sophys as homely as ever was made.
Pied !, as s. to features and thin as to
Sqrinted BIT as to eyes. I'm afraid,
Mouthed In n manner that no man
could bear.
sophy's two cheek bones are fright
sophS's compositions the color OF
seeds;
She has q nose slightly bulbous-oh.
Teeth too protrudlng and chin that
recedes.
sophys tall figure is terribly. thin
That her most ardent admirers must
own
She is constructed too much like a
Standing six foot and Just Weighing
six stone.
sophv's a love that + won a bet
What is my curse that I'm worship
ed by such?
What would I give IL we never had
what 's' !, she didn't adore me 50
much! II. ;. II.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

We regret to report that the Texas
Legislative Committees petition to old
Bill Skillit, of Henrico to open a CORE.
spondence school In the Applied Science
OF Poultry and Eggs has been contemp-
'tuously rejected. Mr.. Skillit's one COM
ment was that It amt no use to try
to teach some people anythink.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

IN point OF good, working efficienc,
Turkeys Reconsideration Department
would probably give Chinas a clos
shave for the money.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

The President may have annihilated
hartman once upon time, but he
caresessly neglected to bury him.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

Strange Struggle with Tiger
reads tho headline. but the story, dis.
appointingly enough. says not wore
about Pat McCarren
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

Charley Murphy, of New York, Is a
crat All right. Opinions as to whether
he's demo, auto, or aristo will doubt.
less be divided.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

ALFRED Austin has written an ode to
Mozart says The Houston Post. Well,
where's the harmo AS long as Alfred
confines his attentions to those who
have passed beyond tho worlds death
rate is likely to remain undisturbed.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
Cuba. Present political Condition.

AS the second government of occupa-
ton in Cuba draws toward the close.
Cubans are practically of one mind
concerning the value of the service
which has been rendered by Governor
Magoon. Already one Of the leading
parties under which political sentl-
ment is organized in the island has
placed presidential candidate in nom
ination. The Impending change In the
government of the island is regarded
very differently from the similar
change which took place in 1902. Gu
ban ,eugerness for home rule is not
nearly so evident as 1t was six years
ago, but thoughtful observers regard
the prospects for successful autono-
NOUS government as being much more
hopeful now than. they were immedi-
ately preceding the organization OF
land.-Baltimore American.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
Couldn't Connect.

Couldn't Connect.
Stella: ANY sossip?'
Bella: NO; our hats kept US so far apart
We couldn't whisper a secsct"-Sew York
Sun.
Quits.
q fear we are beaten"
Why"
The other sid. has an expert who will
testify to anything"
Back up. Have we a witness who Will
The willy Ed.
u accept all first contributions" declared
the editor.
ITS a paying scheme"
"As to how?''
''The author buys many copies OF the
ma gaines and nearly always frames the
check We send."-Louisville courier-Jour-
nal.
Probably So.
II wonder why Damon and Pythas were
such great friends" queried the young lady
who writes type between meals.
''They We're like couple of girl chums,
guess rcjoined the bachelor with the
insrowing hair. Got so thick they couldn't
sec through each other.''-Chicago News.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
MERELY JOKING.
A Ruse,

A Ruse.
ana common" said the customer. The
price YOU ask for It is preposterous."
"My dear sir replied the dealer. "thats
t,e beauty OF that umbrella. It's really the
very best quality, but It's made to appear
cheap and common no one Will steal tt
Dundee Advertiser.
No. Indeed.
thine is money"
Hard times aren't"-Harpers Weekly.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
SHOPPING IN CAIRO.
Some business Methods That Preya
In flAn lNasA -.

in the East.
Il entered ,stdi okbahs shop said
1 me man N With y,s the shepheard's Hotel
What is the price OF tRat?' asked.
okbah answered. I bought 1t at great
cost 6 for my own DEDICATION only. How
ettes?'
! partook. The next morning was
IN IN II that nsighborhood again. and sidi
carpet Allah forbade self,s6n e;.s
among the, True Believers. and. since
I, desired ae :, IL the thing, he'd let me have
IN give you s1o.' said T.
lie Tell back, almost faintinE. Then.
IN weak, panied voice, he offered me
asx y ss and tqrT Went up PIP he
SIS. and we drank more coffee and
rose to sl5.5o We were } very cry cheer i'ee
full over the coffee and tobacco that
aa rs to aa ha the insp as eygen b be-
And Just before left Cairo we
did strike a bargain. The carpet be-
came mine for $50. 1t would have
cost $3.50 at home.
AS we shook hands in farewell
Sidi Okbah said:
81 love a good bargainer like your
self Bargaining is the bloom. the
perfume, the poetry of trade. adore
1t. Once'-he ground his teeth--'once
an American named Morgan. Pierpont
Morgan, came in here. selected three
carpets. and said. How much?' I told
him $4,000 for the three. Well he
said. that seems fair price and lie
paid me then and there in gold
"'What a mani! he said. What a
fool OF man! Were he to go into
business, he wouldn't be out of this
bankruptcy courts three days.
Kansas CITY Journal
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

Now for lawn-mower named the
Merry Grass,Widow.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
ii, aim,s gispatrb
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.

fnsiness offlec..........e 1e 2. Main street.
Bureau. .a2s-7 Munsey Building.
Manchester Bureau........l1c2 Hun stree.
Bureau. 1870 M sycamore 81
r.y,ehburr Hureau Eighth st.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
HOW 10 CALL 71MEs-D1srATcH.

Person. wishing to communicate with The
Times. Dispatch ey telephone will ask cen
ira! fo- ".o.i." and on being answered from
the office switchboard. Will Indicate the de-
ptr.men, or person With whom they wish
to speak.
when calling between a. N. and 3
a. NJ, ean to central office direct for 4oAl'
eompe.,nr.roon; 4o4s. business office: 4ots
10, mailing and press-rooms.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

THE oligarchy. which actually rules
Japan. is made up of the leaders. of the
two dominant clans of Choshu and
Satsuma, OF the millionaire Mitsul
family, and Of the controlling spirits
ences represent five or six families.
which are all-powerful by right of
tradition. and they bow only. to the
will of the Emperor. AS the Imperial
household is connected intimately IN
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
Absurd Decisions.
or all the ahs,,rl

Or all the absurd decisions touching the
sale or dispensing Of Intoxicating liquors
these OF the two Justices who declared n
uu ,I TO give n drink to friend on
sunday AZ ones own house are the most
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

RY MAIL one SIX Three One
POSTAGE PAID. Year. Mos Mos, Mo.
.Daiiy with Sunday. 5000 1900 $3.50 .s'
Daily without Sunday 800 200 100 .ss
sunday edition only. 200 100 so .2s
weekly twedncsday). 100 so rs ~.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

BY Time.- Dispatch Carrier Delivery SER
vice in Richmond land subures). Manehes'
tee and Petersburg
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
Pointing to Bryan.

Pointing to Bryan.
We think the indications point clearly t
mere than two-tfiirds OF tina convention h.,
even II that shall not turn out to be- 10 an,
ne mas decided majority, he will either
be the nominee.--HarrIsonbur Times. sue
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

tee and Peter.burg--
Daily with sunday....1t cents $3.50
Daily without sunday. 10 cents $50
s,ns,. an,s ..... cents $50
yearly subscriptions PAYABLE N aaSah'e.'
Entered January 81. 1898. at F!ehmoh'.
va. a. seeond-elass matter under act OF
Congress Of March 5. 1879.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22

To-norrow-The Guilds Of uan.--
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-22
Standing pnt
50 Bryan Thinks.
Evil Of the Dead.

EVi1 OF the Dead.
vMslnias legislature, which lately passed
a sh,as. not espccially nournsd, was some
r ,m,ss 81 ireakish body. though fortunately
in.. OF the outre measures proposed were
los. IN the .srand scramble at The wind IN.
norfolk Ledger-Dispa ten. ne
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-10-04

Mr.. Bryan announced today that
when he returns here from Chicago he
win devote two days to speech making
in his old congressional district In
this state. He will then rest two days,
after which he will go east for final
speech making trip into Ohio. New
Jersey. New York. Illinois and Indi-
ana
Bryan is greatly interested in the
making public of the campaign contri-
buttons on October Is. He believes
this will prove strong document for
campaign purposes and is urging head
quarters to get all funds possible be-
fore that day. The fact that the list
Of contributors will include names of
many who in the past have opposed
his candidacy. Bryan believes will in
dictate that his contention of reunited
Democracy is true.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-10-04
BRYAN ANNOUNCES
CAMPAIGN PLANS
Final Trip in East and Middle
West.

Lincoln. Oct. 3-W. ]. Bryan spent
another quiet day at home today. He
has decided that he will not prepare
in advance his speeches TO be deliver
ed at the deep. waterways congress
banquet in Chicago next Wednesday
night, when he and Judge Taft will
be guests of honor.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-03-08
THE VALUE OF A
HEALTHY STOMACH
Even Slight Stomach Disorder May Make Chronic
Crouch of You.

There are a lot of people. good peo-
pie at that, who are criminally care
less when it comes to maturing their
food They simply don't think that
belching and sour stomach and gas are
serious enough to warrant doctoring.
while as matter Of fact these are
the advance agents of the worst forms
of stomach disease. You need not take
the word Of this writer for il Read
any medical authority or ask any doc
tor. And what is more, there's no man
or woman living, suffering with these
sO-called common, everyday stomach
disturbances who knows just when
they viii prove themselves painful,
agonizing scOWges of health, and COM
pletely wreck ones joy of living. The
stomach is most valuable to the vital
organs. They all depend on the stom-
ach for their directions, and if the
stomach fails there's general disorder
Furthermore, the person who will keep
his stomach in good shape will find
that the stomach win bring to them In
turn cheer, happiness and success.
The big round world has no use for
a crouch, no more than we have for
a fellow that's always belching in our
face, or chewing his cud like an old
COW, over and over again. The grouchy
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-03-08

cuss is the chap with the sick stom-
ach-always- it's a woman
But the stomach crouch can be trans
formed into desirable citizen, and, in
fact, stomachs are being made over
now by that extraordinary formula
which the Cooper PharmacaI company
OF Chicago is putting out, and which
is known to druggists everywhere as
the Prosene Prescription. This is said
TO be as near perfect a stomach rem
edy as is possible for doctors and
druggists to compound. 1t does what
has been discussed in this article. viz:
Improve the stOmach's health and do
away with stomach evil and stomach
suffering that turn cheerful souls into
mean, small, pessimistic creatures.
This Prosene proposition has a great
reputation, and on what it is actually
doing is certainly worth trying. Get
from your druggist one ounce of Pro-
sene; have that mixed with Compound
T1ncture of CinchOna. one ounce, and
Sherry Wine. half a pint 1t is real
important that all the ingredients be
put in in the right proportions. but the
main thing is the PrOsene; see that
you get it right. Then take a tea
spoon dose of this preparation before
meals and at bedtime YouH be a
changed person.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-03-08
BY FRANKLIN FYLEs.

Mrs. Cressy) We're good for $3.50 a week
in New York. Viewed now in dra-
matte theater of the first class, Cressy
figures lower than his vaudeville rat
ing, ana Dayne isn't worth reckoning
up. This isn't to deny that Greasy is
an artist in Yankee characterization
He is. l dent know an ADLER Con-
sidered as a mOnOlogue entertainer in
The Village Lawyer" he is away up
top. but as a playwright. who has put
together several of his vaudeville
sketches. his condemnation by the crit
les gives him no grievance. In one of
his Variety-show brevities, he was a
moneyleSs country lawyer, with a mu-
steal soul who longed to buy clar-
met and when professional fee of
$50 enabled him to buy the instrument,
his conscience compelled him to decline
the clients money. and the curtain fell
on his serio-pathetic conclusion, "Well,
might not play the. blamed thing fit
4 hear anyway" In a still more liked
sketch, being advised that a former
chum had at death consigned a child
to his bachelor care, he assumed that
the charge was a baby, and made ready
for his trust with a cradle, nursing
bottle, paregOric a drying line for
diapers and other ways and means TO
take care of the yOungster, who turned
out to be girl arrived at early WO-
manhood. Those two little comediettas
are dovetailed into a third act for THE
Village Lawyer" but are not led up
to. or away from. in a manner to pro-
vide a whole evenings entertainment.
Cressy is a delighting actor, neverthe-
less.
The role in which William H. Crane
and Nathaniel c. Goodwin broke into
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-03-08

tt is late I'm Goodwin's day to tell you
that Nat. Goodwin is a comedian than
whom there is no cleverer on the Amer
lean stage; but you may not have
thought-though don't you now agree
with me?-that his versatility has les
sened his fame by tempting him away
from his best line of work-surely the
most entertaining-the personation of
the blandly cynical, jovially satirical,
audaciously humorous modern Ameri-
can. THE Fastener" is too melodra-
matte to satisfy the dramatic critics.
but its accidental sheriff, with his ban
ter when at ease and bravery when in a
fight. is a popular person as the actor
presents him in spirit of drollery.
Crane goes from New York to Ne
vada for the last act of Father and the
Boys," and there comic curtain is
reached when the boys. believing that
the father has eloped. break in on him
just as he is joining her hand with that
of her real lover, mistake what they see
for a wedding and violently stop it,.
Goodwin crosses the Rockies in the 9TH
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-03-08
Old Faces in New Plays

New York, March 6.-Three actor
men In a boat. William II. Crane. Nat
= Goodwin and viii NJ Cressy. They
launch themselves on the dramatic
stream in New York simultaneously.
although not in a single craft, for each
mas new play that ne hopes TO float
In Tor a year or two. Cressy sizes up
small with Crane and Goodwin in
Iame; so why not write about him and
The Village Lawyer" first? Do Won
recall ST Prime with Uncle Josh in
Ihe Old Homestead" ST was one of
the TWO farmhands who quarreled like
boys and whose 'ras'lin would have
become fightin' often eff Uncle Josh
hacnt stopped their burned nonsense.
The player OF 81 Prime was a young
man, Will NJ. Cressy, who went from
DenmaE Thompson's drama into vaude-
vile sketches of his own. 1t has seemed
10 many appreciatOrs of Cressys quiet
~. subtly humorous delineation of the
rural Yankee-and of course he has had
no doubt of 1t himself-that he should.
could and would become a second Den
man Thompson as a second Joshua
Whitcomb. The present trial of his
qualities may not be a test for THE
Village Lawyer" is not a play of any
continuity in interest: but neither was
The Old Homestead" vet Thompson
blahdly smiled that formless lot of
rusticity into enormous popularity;
but Greasy hasn't achieved much in
that direction with his new play.
How easy it is TO let environment
influence judgment. Cressy as a top
liner in a vaudeville bill seemed to
be wasting himself, though the vast
age wasn't cruel, as a manager tells
me Cressy and Dayne (the Dayne being
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-03-08

1t is an old rule of the dramatists to
never fool the audience. Let the per
sons in the play deceive and misunder
stand one another, but always take the
people beyond the footIights into your
confidence. Nevertheless, the real value
of Paid in Full" is developed mis-
leading the audience to believe that
Captain Williams is a brutal sensualist.
He made his first money In South
American buccaneering that amounted
TO piracy; he killed sailors who DISC
beyed him, and native men who resisted
his rObberies; he left in every port, not
the proverbial sailors sweetheart but a
maltreated wOmaT, and now, wealthy
sybarite in New York, why should not
we believe. with Joe and Emma. that
he will accept the husbands offer of the
admired wife i'm lieu of cash restitu-
ton? That is the condition of the af
fair when the lamb wife, looking small
and weak in a white fTOck, enters the
den of the wolf bachelor, who is a con-
trast of burly and seemingly british
strength. He welcomes her hospitality.
invites her to a glass of wine and en-
cOurages her to tell her errand. She is
tongue-tied by shame. and so he states
il for her-bluntly. coarSely. Then she
makes a pitiful plea for clemency on
behalf of Joe whom she now loathes
but whose arrest would disgrace her
AS to delivering herself to the captain,
he will have to kill her to get posses
sion. The audience is whist with sus-
pense- Now to spring the surprises.
4 knew IT, the captain says. Il
never doubted you we're a good girl. But
| meant to find out how bad a husband
you'd got Now l know that, too. You
have paid the scoundrels debt i'm full"
Emma goes home to tell Joe-in the
final act-that he is free from danger;
of his wife, too, for she will live with
him no longer; and the audience per-
ceives a happy future for her as the
bride, by and by, of worthy chap who
lost her to Joe and stands to win her
now. There are but seven persons in
the play. The principal actors are Lii
liam AlbertsOn, FULLY Marshall Ben
Johnson and Frank Sheridan. of no
Broadway celebrity. But Sheridan may
fame himself as the captain: for he
suddenly becomes mighty popular with
the first-night crowd when, after send
ing Emma out of his apartment un-
harmed and happy, he said to himself.
well, it feels damned good, once in a
while, to be decent"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-03-08

During a dozen years a dozen au-
thors strove TO provide reasonable
sweetheartS for Crane to enact AIDE
solves the problem by ignoring it,
Crane isn't lover in Father and the
Boys" of other than his two sons One
of them is smart society dandy, the
other is an amateur athlete, and both
neglect their duties as their fathers
partners in business, leaving him to
work while they laZe. He schemes to
cure them of their fault and folly by
outdOing them i'm social and sportive
foolerles. From a man of plain clothes
Shaving all day long in his office, he
changes suddenly to the gay attire of
turfman at race track, with real
~ good but seemingly bad girl for
companion, and the funniest scene of
the play is on the club stand at a
race course, where he and his girl have
box betwfXt those of his two sons
and their girls. He employs a tout to
guide him in the behavior of a turf
sport, and the antics of the pupil in
doping out a winning horse, betting on
1t. watching its run in explanatory ex-
element. huTrahing over its victory.
and thus reforming his sons by a hor-
rible example. rouses New Workers to
laughter uprOaI iOuS.