The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-10-13
DRIF CD

What a bachelor likes about baby when 1t has the collie is that 1t is not his.
 A thin woman is like a piece of old parlor furniture; she can be padded and upholstered and touched up ut- tie until she deceives the eye.
 The airship inventor is always build ing castles In the air"
 An Atlanta girl says that kissing man wit ha mustache is like kissing a bath towel A Montgomery blonde man withou ta mustache was like eating an egg without salt. Surely here we have difference of opinion. (Let us have the views of some of our feminine readers on this point. We will print the best answerso
 Sympathize too deeply with a girl and she'll tell it around that you are engaged to her.
 Why is a girl with dimples always laughing?
 Before marriage he thinks of turtle doves but afterward of chicken
 If a girl comes to. the front door she is not crazy about you There was an old maid from Duluth Asked a dentist to extract her tooth.
 He said: "Ill not hurt you" She said. "Oh, yCu flirt you. .,, Go on--are you telling the trutnF
 Sometimes events cast their shadows before and afterwards too-ror ln- stance in case of a visit from your wife's angel mother.
 Sometimes there's music in the air and at the same time very little air in the music.
 A stranger came to a certain little Alabama town and told the landladyss pretty daughter that he was a land scape painter. Being an art enthusiast she married him. Afterwards she dis scapesNwith advertisements and now she gets off by herself and cries some- times, but as he makes good wages, she soon dries her tears d;a thoSgIh TsogeIys nel rude jolt didn't 1t? "Dat's a pow'fuI fat bullet. Eph. some nYsasEI " raised 1t right off de roost."
 Miss Gush--what kind of hair do 'US MT. fBschelor-Real hair.
 The society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals will have to extend its jTrisdietiSSn oTag Snzzard ln while soaring in an aeroplane the other day
 And speaking of aeroplanes,. doesn't it make the inventor sore If ne cant soar?
 All Abyssinian male children oyer 12 must go to school ;,osa Ine Tn zrem remaieS nS ,T we ,PnoTanee PresSms are Mebbe. % hoWeSer. they learn how to serve up meals that tempt the male instead of spouting Ssn't the custom in America for women should be allowed to have the same educational advantages as men, any way you look at it,
 Never write slush to a girl no mat ter how much you love her. You can't ever tell who Is going, to read your sentiments. and just think how they would sound In court
 Politics is sizzling hot in the offices of the Nashville American and The date for governor and the democratic | candidate are both getting a fusilads of editorial bullets.
 Evelyn Thaw says that Harry's men | tai condition Is incurable. Late in the day for little Evelyn to discover that.
 Speaking of heroes. nobody eyer l in these days of high living. but he is certainly entitled to one.
 There are sermons in stones and dill pickles in the lunches of Montgomery | High School girls.
 New York seems determined to scrape the feet of the angels with her 1 tall buildings. There should be a stor | put to 1t, and the building commission now threatens to do that very thing
 Ananias was perhaps the advance agent of some circus when he was regularly employed.
 The Trusts to Bill Taft: 'oh do bust us some more like Teddy did" | A Man of Parts, | Jacks gone off to college. l To be a man of parts | Jacks gone off to college He's broken all our hearts. | He says he's playing tootoaH, l Right through the line he darts. | Williams gone to college To be a man of parts. | His right foot's in the closet
 ct nearly breaks our hearts) | His left eyes on the bureau
 PHIL IT ARMSTRONG
 Say, just put this in your pipe ant smoke 1t. woman's little dainty per l fumed handkerchief isn't the only thing she has up her sleeve. Sabe?
 The Montgomery Big Fair on th' into inEignificance because the mos