Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-11-25
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A woman and her opinions are soon
parted.
Wigg-I have noiseless typewriter.
Wagg-1s she Observation-Disclosures
phia Record.
What ails me, doc?" asked the gen.
tal clubman. you need job. You're
suffering from overrest."-New York
Sun.
Mrs Benham-How much did you
pay the minister when we were mar.
ried2 Benham-He fined me five DOL
lars. Harper's Weekly.
Teacher-Now, children, what fs the
greatest enemy of poultry3 Silence.
Teacher--Who eats the most poultry1
Pupils-The minister!-Jugend (Mun-
ich). t-e
The Lady-Little boy, don't you know
smoking will shorten your llfe7 The
Kid-shucks! wot do care? I've
seen everything dere is.-Boston Tray.
eler.
Pat-1 hear yer wolfe is sick. Moike.
Mike-She is thot. Pat-Is it danger
GUS she is? Mike-Divil a bit. She's
too weak to be dangerous any more!-
Brooklyn Life.
Facettous Friend (teaslngly)-well,
which rules-you or your wife? Mr..
Youngwed with hauteur) You forget
we can afford to keep cook.-Baltt-
more American.
Stella-So your father handled him
without gloves2 Bella-Yes, and It
would have been better for poor, dear
George If he had done 1t without shoes.
New York Sun.
THE telephone is certainly great in
vention. Think of 1t! You can talk to
your wife fifty miles away" THAT
may be your experience All I've been
able to do is to listen"
"Have you," asked the Judge of a re-
Gently convicted man, anything to Of
fer the court before sentence is
passed?" mo, your honor" replied
the prisoner, "my lawyer took my last
dollar"
r.
II saw the majors wife at her win
dow early this morning. She looked
40 years old!" "You must be mistaken,
your hlgbness; no woman is us old as
she looks in the morning -Fllegende
Blaetter.
"Why are you so vexed. IrmaY II
am SO exasperated! attended the
meeting Of the Social Equality League.
and<my parlor maid presided and had
the audacity to call me to order three
times -Fliegende Blaetter.
Mulligan-The byes say ye licked
poor Casey. Shure, he niver hurt my
mans feelin's. Harrigan-He's
shnake in the grass. The blnckguard
referred to me as his contemporary,
and I'll be the contimperary to no man
liyini.-Puck
Before we were married" said Mrs.
Chatterton, you used to tell me how
much you loved me. but you never do
now" "Of course not. my dear" re-
piled the masculine partner. "Since our
marriage you haven't given me chance
to tell you anything"
Said poet to an unfortunate specu-
lator: "Don't you think that the open
ing lines of Tennyson's little poem.
Break, break, break are plaintive and
sad7" "Yes," was the melancholy re-
ply. But think that Broke. broke,
broke, is good deal sadder."
William" she said. means good.
James means beloved. wonder
n flush mantled her cheek. II wonder
she softly murmured, what George
means?" George means business, I
hope" said mother, looking up from the
wedding announcements in the paper.
Anxious Mother-Nellie, dear, do you
think that young Higgins. who has
been calling on you twice n week for
some time, is matrimonially inclined?
Pretty Daughter-Really, l don't know
what to think. mamma, dear. He has
such knack of keeping one In the
dark!
Old Acquaintance Why, old chap, a
few years ago you were the best
"a .oS .
outn' rs pretty snapoy. iiau $3.50. :. .s.
The truth is, got married since, and
now it's my wife that's the best dressed
woman in town.
y xv,eo To.,,orro,,, ,,,,, ha M,
birthday, dear. Young Husband
You'll be twenty-one? Young Wife
nv 49," ...s. 80 ,,,st ,,as,,ra a,r NOD,
mns' ~, 49, 49,. 800 o,,,n ...a,.
ulne, sou We ~ ~ W.. 49,. 49,,
.,,,,, ILLS s;,oo ~, ,na,r,aaa 49, ''eSs
.ap' s.
MY irienus, a.iu un i..ner,n'
preacner' tne seripeurai rue ZOE CIV
ing was ohe-teh.n Oh "nat a man pos
sessed. you ieei you can ailolo ~
cora,no 10 yo,,r means We vii, dis
nensa Nth tho neyt HYMN and take nm
tha o.- oo,,ao.,on ~ r ,nn;ncotta