davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

breezes in. BY granny. it does me sooo
t see you. just on general principles
What'll you have L drink? Can you
stand a bit O. the real fzz water? I've
got few quarts stashed away here
that's been earessin' the Ice ever since
yesterday afternoon. Well. happy days.
~ know, he. gurgles right in my
left ear. I always did like Z meet
guy that knows more'n me. I'm al
ways willin' t learn. in fact I'm al
ways the little Willie Brighteyes rub
BERN an nosin' around f'r information
It's regular bug with me. I'm plum
sizzy and dotty when il comes t mop
pin up edge-specially if it's got
anything lido with the booze game. A
guinea can't expect L be a bright an
shinin' light in my profession unless
he's right up t the minute. an then
some. He's always gotta be on the
up an up. He's not only gotta give the
public what it wants, but he's gotta
make it want things it never heard of.
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

adOurS were cOaXing reluctant or sleepy
men to join them in the waltz.
As / stood on the curb wondering
how TO spend the time still left me
the problem was solved in true bohem-
ian fashion by jolly party of three
people had never seen before. who came
along in motor car, informed me
that one of their youths had proved
a "quttter' and invited me to MI his
seat on run through Golden Gate
park to the beach. Why not?
The ride in the park was verv beam
tiful- The headlights sharply cut the
darkness and made the trees clustered
along the perfect rOadways stand ONT
In silvered relief like drop curtains
in fairy moonlight stage scene. The
damp sea air as it struck our faces
was sweet and cool and refreshing
Nor were we enjoying it alone. for
one party after another returning from
the beach resorts saluted US on the
way Along the Ocean boulevard a
few cars were still drawn up before
eating and drinking places, and at
one of these we had a little sumner
near a big, inviting open fire. AS we
sped back up the beach and homeward
through the park the sky became
lighter and lighter till finally the east
grew brilliant and red.
Down town the morning cars wera
running, janitOrs were scrubbfns Side
walks, sleepy night watchmen wera
ploddlng home with lunch pai1s
shaWled women were hurrying to early
mass and the life and business of a
new day were under way.
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

others faces and clothes and the pretty
displays in the windows. Every one on
the avenue appeared either to have
money or to be out after il. Here was
the rickety. prancing old dandy in silk
hat and dove colored gloves, with his
pretty, bejeweled young wife clinging
to his arm; there, another old man,
blind and in rags, coaxing pitiful little
squeaks out of his dilapidated accor-
dion. Here was the fresh young man
against the lamp post, chewing cigar,
rafting his dollars and ogling ladies
with enormous hats and diminutive
waists; there, below, another young
man, legless and hungry, holding up
pencils and money cup to the passers
by. Here was a fat racetrack man in
loud plaid and diamonds, laughing and
shouting to his companion for the
entertainment of the public; there, the
shifty eyed, nervous, whispering ped
dler of Chinese lottery tickets. Here
was smart young lady in velvet, es-
corted by a huge, self-conscious st.
Bernard on a leash, and buying a bou-
quet of violets from the vender on the
corner; there. pretty, slim Salvation
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

Pal I says, I don't want t. rub
it in, but the fact is I've just hit the
grit in this town from Salt Lake City,
where I went swimmin' in the big
pond an got some, o. the salt water
down my pipes, an I'm horrible dry
Now, # you cd just mix me up a nice,
juicy pazaza.'
law. chop it" he says, lookin like
be was goin' t do a double handspring
over the bar. Here's your drink
straight rye. Fifteen cents. Good
night. Call again
so I licks up the booze and beats it
to the sidewalk. Then I blows into
a dump at Geary street.
Gimme a pazaza, I says.
IA pazaz-a what?
"A pazaza'
We'll, I gets a run for my money
there, anyway. The scholarly bun
builder takes a long glass, searches
the place over for piece of ice and
fnly digs up one about the size of
hick'ry nut. He puts this carefully in
the bottom o. the glass. pours in a lit
tie water. then some glucose an com
mences T. fiddle with long spoon.
Then, like the two voiced guinea
who could sing a little tenor an also
pipe a little bass, he reaches up on the
back bar for tall bottle with a SQUIRT
on it and down under the front bar
for a big bottle O. booze, an he gives
first a squirt with one hand into the
glass an then a dash into it with tho
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

Army lassie soliciting aid for her sick
and needy.
In an hour took the car to Fillmore
street and up the hill as far as the
last saloon, walking back down the
grade to "do the line" of old Fill
more, the street of the people, and a
droll, overgrown, patchy, conglomerate
one it is. sprung at the time of the
great fire from a row of suburban
delicatessen and cigar shops to the
main artery Of a great city. It is
very midway plaisance," brilliant with
Illuminated arches over the crossings
and the myriad electric signs over re-
sorts of amusement places.
Out of penny arcades and niclzelo-
deons came a confusion of canned
music" from monographs, orchestrelles
and nickel in the slot pianos. In front
of 40 cent theayturs" spielers shouted
the delights of performances within.
free magic lantern show beautified
the face of building with rural land
scapes and allurements to bargains in
spring clothing. Up the street came a
-four horse wagon with a band strident-
ly playing "A Hot Time in the Old
Town Tonight" and sign proclaiming
a grand all night ball out in the Mis-
sion.
At Post street was a great crowd,
as there is every night. for this cor
ner is the chosen forum of the street
speakers and curbstone orators. Four
constantly shifting audiences were
gathered about four shouters The
favorite was a woman explaining with
chart and chalk and figure of speech
the mysteries of phrenology. Two
rival orators were expounding to their
circles two differing schools of So
cialism, the milder one pointing a
thumb of scorn to his more violent
neighbor as an "anachrist" A sickly,
pale Yankee, gowned in the most sor-
geous embroideries of China, held forth
on the wondrous virtues of his oriental
drugs, the same being given away at
half dollar a bottle. The policeman
went frantic keeping the auditors out
side the curb line.
Strains of waltz music lured me up
stairs to a dance hall-"two bits" ad-
mission and no questions asked-where
ladies of divers nationalities graciously
waltzed with me without the formality
of names.
Down in the street again, found my
self in the flood tide of theater goers
who at IL o'clock pour out of the citv's
playhouses, which now crowd the dis
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

trict. AT one of the popular and jolly
cafes l Joined the company for supper
and the music
Out on the highway again the bril-
liant lights of the arches were sud-
denly extinguished at midnight, and
most of those who remained out took
this as signal to go home to bed.
An hour or so later there began to
pour into the deadened streets from all
sides steady stream of young boys,
mostly in the late teens. Many came
on bicycles and a goodly number on
coasters. Their faces, serious, gener-
ally earnest sometimes hard, wore that
intent look of business that showed
that they were not out at this hour on
pleasure bent. They were gravitating
toward street corner. where I found
crowd of their kind waiting for some
thing and keeping themselves warm by
sham fights, clog dances, acrobatic
stunts, etc.
suddenly all became alert, and around
the corner swung big wagon, dumped
a pile of square white bundles and
dashed away. A distributor mounted
the neap, wildly swinging his arms to
ward OFF the frantic, shouting boys
who besieged him, ripped open the bun
dies and counted out portions with in
credible speed. Selling their loads In
turn the boys ran off madly in all direc-
tions, and in minute the clear night
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

air was ringing with calls of ''Sund'
mawning pape," "Gidda pape." 'Pape
yeh," Call, Chron', Igzamnar'
So it was Sunday morning in life
as well as by the clock! 1t gives a
weird. uncanny feeling to hear that
shouting of the mornings news in the
dead dark of midnight.
Two o'clock found me at Fillmore
street intersection watching the night
fiiers and prowlers go by. From above
and below the half doors of the corner
saloons burst floods of light and within
arose the din of boisterous song and
shout. Across the street an over
dressed man and woman halted to
quarrel loudly over the ownership Of a
piece of money. Two maudlin soldiers
staggered by, exchanging vows of
eternal love. A shuffiing beggar ac-
costed me, seeking the price of bed
Two young girls passed by and looked
me unabashed and inquiringly In the
eye. A smooth young gentleman saun-
tered along, protesting lonesomeness
and finally, in an offhand, careless man
ner suggested social game of cards
for small stakes. A burly policeman
passed on his rounds, trying the locks
Of the shop doors along the block.
An allnight car whizzed down a cross
street and disappeared In its cloud of
dust. A messenger boy whirled by on
his wheel. A red automobile flew past,
filled with bosterous revelers, drag
ging big white Teddy bear by rope
behind. Two rival milk wagons raced
up the street Gathering loudly over the
cobble stones of basalt. A fat French
bakery wagon lazily followed stopping
here and there to leave a savory un-
wrapped loaf on a customers doorstep.
The all night enchilada man came along
with his deep, rich basso call OF Red
hoti Red hoti Red hot, and only a
dime!"
Such is life on Fillmore street, old.
tough live. delightful disreputable,
bohemian, fascinating Fillmore street.
Will it pass, I wonder, when the old
downtown" is occupied again?
Half an hours ride landed me on the
mad, merry, hilarious "Barbary coast.
Here on Pacific street, globe trotters
say, is the greatest collection of tough
dance halls on the planet. The resorts
fill several blocks. The negroes
enjoy number of their own, somewhat
patronized by welcome whites. This is
the mecca of the sailors; this is the
haven of many a midocean desire; this
is the hole where the money is dropped
But the "jackies" have no monopoly
of the region. For this night there
were mingling together actor. drum
mer, musician, gambler, stevedore, art
student, young millionaire soldier.
crook and adventurer, fraternizing
without reserve and exchanging to-
bacco, matches and comments on the
women. The air in the dancehaIIs
was blue and thick with smoke. the
sawdust under the tables was saturated
with beer, and on the open floor the
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

an, weepin' on me left shoulder olade
beagfn' me t let him in on the secret
a. the pazaz'. but never a peep ne geeS: gS:
Finally I leaves there. an III ,1.'.,.
.-aoI,edar than the road up Mount
ia an,alpais. an rolIin and heavin IKE
tba breakers Iashin' agin the Golden
gate. but never rr minute does 1 set
woozy enough t yield up that precious
bunch of information.
The audience of one looked at shoI'S
with no small degree of interest
What Is a panama" he asked.
Back, back. there bo I =.
cb,-tv ..You want L get the recipe so
- vow en- print it an put the whole
town wise. don't you? Well. 'raus mt
tbatl A pazaza is swill that makes
cbarnaene cocktail look like
4,.,-ers worth of tripe- Necessity was
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05
By Gibson Adams

- AN FRANCISCO is the great
est all night town on earth;
the place where they never
go TO bed" This expression
I had heard so many times that de-
cided TO see for myself; so I chose q
fine, promising Saturday night and set
out bent upon adventure, ready for any
thing and determined 10 remain out
TIL the sun looked once more over the
Berkeley hills.
BY O'Clock had enjoyed one Of
those Italian dinners, so good and so
cheap in the Latin quarter, and. forti-
fed with 'dago red" raviolis and zam-
ballion, was out on rich. aristocratic
Van Ness avenue, studying the towns
people at their pastimes.
Dozens of autos were speeding down
the great. wide way and the broad side
walks were thronged with gayly dressed
men and women Many were hurrying
10 the theaters. and after their half
hour the crowds were thinner and more
teisurely. for they were out to see each
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

Now, if 1 could only build a pazaz'-
Nix, OF pal l MARBLES, nix! In
formation is a corkin' good thing t
have on tap, but that pazaz' business is
a nifty little secret of me own. an I'd
no more think O. gtvin' that away free,
gratis, FIR nothin than 1 would o start
in t Sunday school in a airship.'
But if you cd only sort o gimme
hint
'Ferget itr 1 cheeps. 'Ferget it,.
Little old X. c., Mizzoo. may be slow
but she can learn this town a lot. but
she amt runnin' no charity bazaar, at
that
Well, sir, Bo, 1 rallies around that
dump till it's almost time f'r the milk
man t come bOwlin along with his can
o formaldehyde, an we licks up the
tizz till I'm so full O. bubbles / feel
as light as a gas house, an. all the time
this booze clerk is hangin' on me neck
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

are as hot as mine, what you need t
chase the willies an git y'rself away
f'm 23 Lemon street is a pazaza.'
We'll says the doc, I've been
dealin' out the oil of joy an gladness
an scatterin' sunshine around this
town FIR good many years. but dog
bite my left hind leg if this amt the
first time 1 ever hear tell of pa
zaza! How do you make it?'
Tswells up as big as a balloon at
a country fair an looks him over
scornful
don't make it.. 1 says That's
your biz-not mine. You're the 1ordly
manufacturer; I'm only a humble con-
sumer. OF course, if you don't keep
this particular brand o. goods in this
An once more 1 drifts out into the
night sorer than a hornet with a gum
boil, wonderin' where in the land O.
Pat Calhoun an the board o. super
visors I'm goin' t connect with that
drink
We'll, 1 moseys down to Van Ness
avenue, dodgin' holes in the sidewalk
like prize winner doin' the sword
dance at a Scotch picnic, an talkin' t.
myself all the time
BY the f1amin' eyebaIIs O. Francis
J. Heney, says I t. myself, about the
only resemblance L see between this
much touted San Fran and little old
K. c., Mizoo, is the hills. This golden
village with the sunset climate may
be the Paris of America and all that.
but when 1t comes to grabbin' off the
bare necessities of life in liquid form,
gimme the yappy, snappy little town
by the Kaw. oh, sizzle! If L was
only back in Tom Skidmores rum pail
ace, where 1 cd wet my gills with
few pazazas! By gravy! my tongue is
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

it's inventor and little old K. c.. Mizzoo.
was it's mother Know what I'm goin'
{ do? Wire Joe Finnegan. my old side
kick in K. c., L hOtfoot IL for San Fran
t'mOrrOw. When Jodie, old boy plants
that fair young form O. his on the coast
We'll open up swell dump on Market
street call it The Pazaza,' an right
then an there is where the giddy Miss
San Fran II begin Z kick up her heels
an show her ginger in a way that'u
make the Merry Widow look like the
front row in kindergarten"
But what Is a pa
"Sh-h-hl don't mention ii. little Onei
Where's a telegraph office. SOS I en- get
a flash L JOdie? Wait fr the big sign,
an then come around and drink a
pazaza on me-"
And Shorty breezed out toward the
elevator, just as dry and just as mys-
teriOus as when he entered. carrying
the secret of his cherished drink with
him.
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05

shriveled up harder than a whip crack
er! I'll just pipe what they've got on
tap in this sanctorum here on the
corner
$50 in I blows an says to the life
saver behind the bar, Pal, I'm dryer
than trainload O. home seekers cross
In the Great American desert on the
sth of August. I could lick up 500
worth of ambrosia an never notice it.
I wisht you'd build me a pazaza in
hurry. an make it long an cold"
"A whatT he says.
"a pazaza,' says L
By gosh, pal.' he says. sort O.
cheerful, that name sounds good. all
right, all right, an I'd like t accom-
modate you, but I'm hornswoggled if
l know what you're tallxin' about. 1
couldn't make a pazaza any more than
a hen can spit. Put me wise an I'll
see If I can cut the rifle for you
'I looks across that bar like I'm the
mayor of the Pacific ocean an takes
hitch at me belt.
Bo,' I says, you look like a good
scout, an I've no doubt you're livin' up
t the top notch of all you learnt in the
Bar Keepers Friend, but the fact is
you're dead slow. Come on an give us
sniff at that bottle with the blue label
back yonder, an lemme give you tip
that's hotter than Yuma, Ariz, an
that's sure some hot. You see, blows
in here perf1ck stranger t. you, an 1
get yer goat the first flop out of the
box when 1 calls f'r pazaza Now, don't
L? Surest thing you know! An any
other gazabo that butts in here lookln'
f,r liquid nourishment II get y'r goat
just the same as 1 did if he bones you
FIR pazaz' when you're on the job. BY
the great Seal Rocks of California. if
l was a good lookin young Jag pro-
moter like you I'd rather be in hades
pumpin' thunder at three cents a clap
than t haf to stand up here an own up
that l couldn't build a pazaza! wy,
when I'm back in X. c., Mizzoo, drink
them things as reg'lar as a chicken
goes barefooted an never think nothin'
of it Ever mornin' when 1 crawls out
O. the fuzz an hikes t me fav'rite
beanery l orders a mutton chop an a
pazaza, an then calls me dog t eat the
chop. That's me breakfast, an a pippin
of breakfast it is, too. You en- bet
your collar button on that You ought
t. try it whirl.'
THE bo looks at me kind o. puzzled
an laughs nervous
Well he says, If 1 only knowed
how to build the pazaz'-
Back, back! 1 chirps Back t. the
tall an uncut! You bun builders out
here in San Fran stand around lookin'
purity an expectin' gents t pin roses on
yr frontispieces when you don't know
no more about bar keepin' than Tommy
Burns does about Iickin' real heavy
weight. Why don't you get UP to date?
Why don't you learn the fine points of
y'r noble profession of relievin' human
thirst?
With that he coaxes me down t tn
fur end O. the bar. so S he en- get close
an do the brother act. He LAYS one
flipper on me shoulder an loves me I'D
in a way that's pitiful t see.
or pail he says. I liked you from
the first minute you stuck your face in
side that door. You look exactly like
brother O. mine that I amt seen fr
years, an who's comm out t. the coast
t see me before long. He runs a swell
booze parlor in Omaha, an I'll swear I
thought you was him when you first
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05
HUNT @F|LLMOQ[ S1R4I
5pAZAZA'' :

other hand, an then he fddles some
more with the long spoon. In an
absent minded sort o. way he squirts
three or four different kinds O. bitters
in the glass and sets 1t on the bar.
Then he strains 1t off into another
glass, twists a piece of lemon peel In
IT, drops g. cherry in the bottom, tops
1T off with a slice o. orange an
spring o. mint an sets 1t out with the
air of an artist who has just put the
finishin touches on a prize paintin'
f'r ]. Pierpont Morgan.
There you are,' he says, with
lordly wave of his mitt
What in the name of Abe Ruef
and Eugene Schmitz do you call that
thing? 1 says. A New England boiled
dinner9'
Honest, pal, that booze clerk looked
positively hurt
That he says, is a pazaza
That 1 says, right back, mockin'
him, is not pazaza. 1t looks more
toddy.'
Well, anyway, he says, lookin' kind
O. ominous, that's what the doctor
ordered in your case. and If you don't
like it you'd better beat it for the
door. Two bits, please
Well, 1 licks it up, and 1t amt so
bad, but I'm simply yearnin' for
good old pazaza like they build back
in X. c., Mizzoo. you see, so it, fails to
hit the spot, an 1 leaves the dump
with my tongue hangin' out an a hor-
rfble disgust on.
Then I drifts into another bun fac
tory on Ellis street an again 1 calls
for me favorite swill.
Well, whaddo you know about
that, Spike?' yells the barkeep to a
friend o his down at the other end o.
the bar. Here's a man calm for a
pazaza. Ever hear of one?
Nix for the pazaz, as far as I'm
concerned says Spike. What's it
like?
Search me- says the barkeep. Put
me wise, pal, he says throwing his
lamps on me.
Il was feeIin' little chesty after
them other two I'd had an sweIls up
a bit
Excuse me- I crates L come into
this dump to corral bit o. nourish-
ment-not t establish a night school
in boozeology.' And 1 turns on me heel
an floats out into the glamor O. the
night
"A little down the street 1 pipes
another emporium an skates across the
welcome sign an rounds up at the
mahogany.
Bo,' says, I wish you'd be kind
enough to build me a pazaza Have it
nice and cold and juicy and
"A what?
IA pazaza,' 1 says, comm again,
as polite as usher at church we'd
dim
Well, sir, that booze clerk fdgets
around behind the counter an looks as
uneasy as a girl about to recite piece
at school on a Friday afternoon He
gazes at me sort O. pitiful, like guy
in police court hopin' the caliphlI let
him off light, an says, Jack, you've
kind o. got me on that un. Now, 1 can
make you nice, juicy Manhattan, a
Suissesse a New Orleans flip, sherry
cobbler, a swizzle or "a
NIX says I, f'r any O. them bum
cordials. They're all t the merry when
a guy has only got teency weency
bit of g. thirst, but when y'r coppers
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05


@so2"
Yes. dead Glow. When guy can't
get any drink he calls for out here it's
time c quit BLOWN about all your won
derful improvements and all the swell
joints you've put up since the fire an
go TO rassinS turnips or guinea pigs.
I may look like a farmer myself, an 1
don't mind confessin' that I've bought
a few gold hCicks in my time as well
as peddled a few. but I'm here L tell
you one thing, an that is that little
old K. c., 1dizzoo. where I'm on the
job when I'm at home, has got this
village skinned 40 ways for the buck
when It comes to ladlin' out the liquid
refreshments with all the artistic
trimmins demanded by gent who had
blowed around the western hemisphere
as much as y'r Uncle Dudley has"
What's the kick?
We'll, OLD pal, it's just like this:
You see, chucks the Job in X C. and
hikes for the Golden gate. being touted
along by a big pitcher book describin'
all the wonders and glories of climate
Of California, and hangs up at Emery
Vile e few weeks [ see If 1 can grab
of few honest dollars from the book
makers over there, an one night
floats across the bay TO San Fran.
Havin' lodged the lemon tree an shook
down a tiny bit Of a wad that day,
says L myself, Shorty. old boy, it's up [
you L go over an see If there's any
thing IN San Fran worth loobin' at An
right there is where my trouble com
mences."
What trDuble?"
My hunt for pazaza"
"A pazazas?"
''Yes. a pazaza- Are you one o. them
short sports. too, that don't know what
q pazaza is? But see you are. Well,
kid, let me put you wise. I might a
been a happy man tday If I'd a been
content to mop UP beer or take my
booze straight But no; has the coin
an so I has to get sizzy in the nut
an go out lookin' for somethin' with
lace trimmt3s on 1t an hligree work
around the edges, an there's where
gets stung worse n a red bull in a
paster by a bunch Of hornets.
u blows into & Benzine parlor on
Fillmore street an wigwags to the
boy with the white apron.
Gimme pazaza,' says, hingin' one
o them big Bryan dollars down on the
bar carelessly, just like that
He leans away over an cocks up
his left ear like a rooster when his
hard workin' wife makes a noise like
g worm.
"A whatT he says.
"A pazazaF never dreamin' but
what he'd fan for it.
"A pazaza--a whatg"
A pazsza-'
We'll. say, pal, hope my mothers
black cat II have the hydrophoby if
he didn't get mad about It!
Say, looRy herer he hollers. Don't
try TO put nothin' like that over on
me- If it's a drink you want, we
en- give you anything you're lookin'
for on Fillmore street, but don't come
around here tryin' t spring no foolish
gags on a man who knows his bust
ness
I just stands an looks at the guy
q minute. perfectly befuzzled.
The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05
By w. L. Clanahan

10 use o. talkin'. GULL" he
SeN said. dropping wearily into
u the only vacant chair, San
Fraa's a slow burg"