davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

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H.. they will promptly mail you post
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"Pinules' The preparation is put
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Ache, Lame Back. Rheumatism and
all Kidney and Bladder affections, In
writing them.it will. be necessary. to
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hope any OF our readers. who are suif
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take advantage of.this offer at.once. as
we know the preparation is most high
ly recommended
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21


A very pretty girl had bashful art
list for a sweetheart. but he would new
err come to the point One night after
he had made u desperate attempt 10
test her feelings she looked az him In
very significant way.
"What do you mean by thatT' he
asked. with a startled look.
do you profess TO be an artistf" she
replied evasively.
EYES"
do you think you are a good oneT
81 flatter myself that l am"
"Well. I don't think So"
"Why notf'
Because you cannot even draw an
inference"
He did. though. and now'they draw
conclusions
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

Dough is made out OF wheat. real
estate, oil. literature and magazine ar.
ticles But dough made OF wheat Is no
stickier than any other. Dough Is the
prior fact TO bread. motor cars. steam
yachts and collections OF old books. II
Is the stan OF high life. IL imbitters
matrimony and purveys tho lovely
scandals we read about. II gets girls
sent OF TO college and fitted 10 be
something more spectacular than mere
wives and mothers. II curseth them
that go I'm for II, but not unto the third
and fourth generations. We are too
good spenders for that. II IN from
dough that the dowdy. the dull and
the dotty derive distinction otherwise
denied.-Puck
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

Don't cough your head off when you
can get a guaranteed remedy in Bees
Laxative Cough Syrup. 1t is especially
recommended for children as its plea.
SAINT to take, is gentle laxative thus
expelling the phIegm from the system.
For coughs, colds. Group. whooping
cough. hoarseness and all bronlcal
trouble. Guaranteed.
Sold at Rezin's Drug Store.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21
Apparent

Pardon me-" began the new ac-
quaintance. but are you the Mr.. Cad
ley Nuritch who wrote that magazine
article last month for usT
YES" interrupted Nuritch. but OF
course you'll understand that l don't
make a business OF that sort of thing"
"Of course. know that. read the
article" Philadelphia Press.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21
Well Grounded.

'Is my son getting we'll grounded in
the classics" asked the anxious mil
llonaire.
II would put II even stronger than
that" replied the private tutor. II may
say that he is actually stranded on
them. Chicago Record Herald.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21
Certainly Would.

City Man (to yillager)- Wouldn't II
open your eyes II you were TO look
across at that lot there and see one OF
our city skyscrapers covering II? WI
lage Man-Waal, guess would. see
in as I've got twenty head o. cattle
grain there Bohemian.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

your suggestion" said a deposition
TO the bank receiver, offers very cold
comfort IL Il a bachelors comfort
that is 20 say. no comfort at all.
"'What.' said a bachelor 10 Bene-
dict. only married year and already
so blue7'
"'Ah. but groaned the Benedict. Il
never imagined that a wife would
prove so expensive
"The bachelor patted the blue mar
ried man on the back In consolatory
way.
Eyes. he said. "A wife Is an expen-
sive article. that Is true. But then
you must remember that she lasts a
very long time"
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

Mamma. the scenery abroad must
he very M bred"
Scenery NJ bred. my childl what do
you meanT'
This book on Alpine climbing says,
"A terrible abyss yawned before
them London Tlt-Bits. M
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21
Scientific Loa6na.

"Chess. checkers and whist are mar.
velous Inventions" says the philoso-
pher Of folly. They enable a man TO
waste his time and still have the feel
ing that he is accomplishing some
thing llectual."-Cleveland Leader
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

"Just think. somebody broke into my
studio last night Unfortunately had
Just begun n study I'm still life"
"was II stolenr
mo. but the models were-a ham and
some sausages. - London Tit-Bits
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

tons. Perhaps IL would be just as
well not TO seek for many other re-
semblnnces. but IN witty remarks ans
pat anecdotes ex-Secretnry Shaw doe'
approach the great war president.
Here IL n sample OF the aptncss OF his
stories:
A man went 60 him one day when
there was talk OF some customs frauds
In New York TO ask II he Intended
starting an investigation.
IL knew fellow once" said Mr..
Shaw, "who hunted foxes with brass
band IA very long and embarrass-
Ing pause, while the secretary went on
signing his MALL lie didn't get any
foxes"
One day Justice Harlan OF the SUI
prems court. propounded this query to
shaw:
"Mr. Secretary. what is the differ
ence between a statesman and poll
ticianT"
Quick as thought came the answer:
ITS the difference between tina
young man seeking a position and the
boy looking for job"
a friend OF the family once remark
od 20 the secretary:
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

First Actor am In qnandary.
have been offered an engagement by
two managers. and ! don't know how
20 act Second Actor Well. don't wor-
~. They'll soon ind II out
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

Now's the time to take Rocky Noun
tain Tea. IL drives out the germs OF
winter, builds up the stomach, kidneys
and liver. The most wonderful spring
tonic to make people well. You'll be
surprised with results, s5c. Tea or
Tablets. w. F. Christensen. Amasa.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

Foley's Orino Laxative is sold under
a positive guarantee TO cure contsipa-
ton, sick headache, stomach trouble,
or any form Of indigestion. IL 1t fails,
the manufacturers refund your money
What more can any one do.
Sam Bridges
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

Saucee-I saw man in a window
making faces today. Symple-What
was he doing that for? Saucee-For
couple OF clocks. He Is n jeweler.-
London Fun.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

DO not neglect 10 keep your boots
polished You can always shine at one
end II you cannot NJ the other.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

We never ind that the same soil pro
duces delicacies and heroes. - Heslod.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

N Under the old
" idea Of TIL
man as the
typical hre eater he
Is about the last
man that would be
suspected OF any.
thing 30 genial as
humor. That CON
ception OF him Is
now becoming some
what modified. or
possibly he Is be-
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

coming mellowed himself. At any rate,
a rich vein OF wit has been found In
the South Carolina senator. though his
thrusts are somewhat rough and saw
age. like the man.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21
.Arlstoerae,

Aristooraoy.
What subsists today by violence
continues tomorrow by acquIescence
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

Wait is hard word to the hungry.
German PToverb
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21
Wit and Humor
Of
LESLIE M. SHAW.

THE ex-secretary
Il ~ the treasury
during his OH
rial career was
lsnown as the story
teller OF the cabi.
not. lie has been
likonel 10 Lincoln
IN his democratic
ways, his careless.
ness OF dress, his
epigrams and his
HON ely illustra
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

When Tillman was governor there
was revolt against his famous liquor
dispensary law. He called out the
militia. and the members OF one com
pany rendered their designations. The
governor dismissed them In a charac.
teristic letter. closing as follows:
"You can depart 10 your homes. You
do not deserve 1t. but | will pay your
hotel bin and trust that may never
be bothered with any more such band.
box and holiday soldiers"
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

whats before the senate anyway.
Mr.. PrcsIdentl" demanded senator
during lull one day.
II am before the senate" Senator
TIllman declared without a smile.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

In his first speech In the senate the
South Carolina man paid his respects 20
President Cleveland In rather savage
fashion. He recounted how he had
come to Washington as governor TO
attend Cleveland's Inauguration. stand
Ing out for several hours In a drizzling
rain 10 see the first Democratic execu-
tive since the war. Then Tillman
raised laugh by vehemently exclaim.
ing:
God forgive me for being such Il
fool"
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

IL was some time before this that
Tillman had made the thrust at the
president which fastened on the South
CarolInlan the sob1quet of "Pitchfork
Ben" II was as follows:
but II go TO the senate promise
that will use pitchfork in the presi-
dents fat old ribs"
At another time Senator Ti'lman ex-
claimed:
II would rather go TO hell with my
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

To a Columbia audience In his own
state he said: This is the fifth time
I've tried TO poke some sense into the
heads OF you people. but suppose you
don't want IT, and / think you had bet
ter beat your drums and stampede like
a lot OF towards, as you did the second
time / came here"
Later at the same meeting:
"You are set OF old fossils. and you
can go TO the devil In your own way.
I don't want your votes"
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-03-21

During one Of the daily colloquies
that occurred between the two Senator
Spooner said
"The last cartoon ! saw Of the sen
ator from South Carolina represented
him as down In the straw aud being
kicked by the Democratic donkey"
'erhc last one ! saw" said Tlllman,
represented me as riding the donkey,
with the Republican elephant tied 10 its
tail"
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1908-05-28
COLORADO WOMEN PROTEST.

They Don't like the Failure OF Law
Affecting Women Wage Earners.
# The club women Of Colorado are up
ii arms. For years the.e has been
law In Colorado rohibiting women
from working In factories and shops
more than eight hours . day, or more
than forty-eight hours 4 week. Re
Gently this law has been declared un-8
sconsti tntional
The women OF Colorado are reported
1 e be more stirred up over II than any
thing that has happened since they
resolved the ballet. "a local paper
& piblished cartoon showing the su-
! preme court handing this decision to
sad faced laundry girl while behind
her md hold ding her hand looms tall,
Y resolnte looking women, labeled
NV ona i I. saying to the court:
Ssssr his m American net 81 yours has
q done nor tor N nh wage Garner
han allS the nrp aiii zati ion ana legisla-
lon could alse done III years An
q ITS 4 club woman as
fho landed down
the decision: Judge Blank!
you know be- al MN is had i spine
onldn' y lei
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1908-05-28
PLAT wins; MISS WOOD IN JAIL
Court Calls II Most Wicked Design to
Support False Claim by Per-
jury and Forgery.

New York. May 23-Mae G. Wood,
whose suit for an absolute divorce
| from United States Senator Thomas
c. Platt of New York has been on
trial in the supreme court here for
several days, was committed to the
Tombs prison late yesterday after jus
tice O'Gorman had dismissed the COM
plant in her action and ordered her
held in $4,000 bail on a charge of per-
jury.
The decision in Senator Platt's ia
| yor and the sudden and sensational
end ofshe suit came after day which
the defense occupied largely with the
introduction of expert and other testl-
mony attacking the authenticity of the
documents by which the plaintiff was
seeking to establish her alleged mar
riage TO Senator Plat.
Telling Evidence for Defense.
A handwriting expert testified that
in his opinion the body of the letter in
which Senator Platt was alleged to
have admitted his relation as husband
to the plaintiff was added after the
senator's signature had been affixed.
More telling still for the defense were
the depositiions by engravers and sta
TONERS called by counsel for Senator
Plat that the blank form upon which
the alleged Platt-Wood marriage GER
titicate was prepared was not litho-
graphed until three months after the
date upon which the marriage of Miss
Wood to Senator Platt was alleged TO
have taken place
Plaintiff Reiterates Claims.
Miss Wood was recalled to the stand
in rebuttal. She was asked if, after
hearing the testimony about the mar
riage certificate, she still reiterated
that the defendant gave her the certiti-
cate, as she previously testified.
Il still reiterate it," she replied.
Justice O'Gorman turned to Miss
Wood and pointedly questioned her.
She repeated her assertion that the
marriage occurred as she had stated
Senator Platt's counsel then moved
for dismissal of the complaint 1t
was forthwith granted by Justice
O'Gorman, who in rendering his deci-
sion said:
Forgery and Perjury.
II cannot credit the plaintiffs evil
dence as to the alleged marriage, and
the testimony as it impresses the
court is that this is a most wicked de-
sign to support a false and fictitious
claim by forgery and perjury"
Forthwith Justice O'Gorman ordered
Miss Wood committed to the Tombs
on the charge of perjury, fixing bail
in her case at $4,000.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1908-05-28
BIG SENSATION I'M mExlco.
Millionaire Charged With Misappro-
ton of 100000.

Mexico City. May "a Financial
and business circles of Mexico City
have been shaken by the greatest
sensations in years through the order
of the judge of the Second instruc-
ton to bring Martin Jacoby million
aire and head of the mercantile house
of Jacoby, into court on the charge
OF Misrepresentation of funds which it
is claimed will total between $4,000
GOO and s5,000,000. The order was is
sued on the representation made to
the court by prominent bankers and
fnanciers.
The house Of Jacoby constitutes the
largest cotton buying concern in the
republic. To all practical intents, it
held a corner on the market. 1t is
declared that out of a series of spec
ulations and perhaps partly resulting
from the October panic, the house
during recent months has suffered a
loss of millions of dollars.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1908-05-28
HOW DRUGS ARE TESTED.
ErgotIne Tried on Chickens; Dlglaiis

Eruotine Tried on Chickens; Diuiaiis
on Frogs. Y
A lot Of sorry looking chickens, dogs
and cats loafed in the black, i'll smell
ing yard OF the great chemical plant.
We use these animals to test our
drugs on said the chemist. ''They
come in very handy. They more than
earn their board.
Ergottne is drug we test on
chickens. It is a simple test, If a
dose Of ergotine fails to turn chick
ems comb black we know that the
drug is, for some reason or other,
worthless.
'Hasheesh we test on dogs. Hash
@eesh Is made Of female hemp buds;
male hemp buds have no medicinal
value, yet some dishonest dealers put
male buds on the market, and since
they resemble the female buds pre-
cisely II Is Impossible to detect them
save by an actual test. Dogs, given
hasheesh, get drunk and happy il the
stuff is good.
Digitalis, the heart stimulant, is
tested on frogs. We inject a drop Of
It into frogs stomach and in the
kymogr or heart recording ma
chine. we study the changes that take
place in the frogs heart action. Thus
We get a very accurate knowledge Of
what our dig tails can do
I Do we ever test drugs on ourselves?
Il oh, yes indeed. often 1T Chew; stc
have lost their lives, chemists have
gone Iirlcurably insane through too
rash bravery in testing drugs on
u their own person
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1908-05-28
Thursday.

Washington, May 22.--The proceed
ings in the senate yesterday, as is
usual towards the close of a session.
covered multitude of subjects, in
GLIDING the probably final announce
ment on the currency question.
Announcing that the conferees of
the senate and house on the currency
bill would be unable to agree if con
gress is TO adjourn at an early day.
Senator Aldrich yesterday reported
from the committee on finance joint
resolution creating a national none
tary commission, to be composed Of
nine senators and nine representa-
tives to investigate matters concern
ing the banking and currency system
Of the country, and the resolution was
passed without debate. MI. Aldrich
stated that it was proposed to have
this commission begin it's work at an
early day.
The house spent another busy day
yesterday. The conference report Oh
the agricultural appropriation bill was
agreed to; the senate amendments
which increased by $12,00O,000 the
public building bill appropriation, were
disagreed to and conference asked.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1908-05-28
Forgery and Perjury.
DYNAMlTERs WRECK BRIDGE.
Vandas Evade Watchman and Set off
CHARGE

-
New York, May PA new bridge
under construction on the Harlem
branch Of the New York, New Haven
& Hartford railroad at Bay>hester
was wrecked by dynamiters yesterday.
A charge of fifty pounds of the explo-
sive was discharged under the first
span, twisting the huge Orders and
practically wrecking the whole struc-
ture. Yesterdays outrage followed
an unsuccessful attempt to wreck a
bridge on the same railroad over the
Harlem river early Wednesday.
1t is alleged that striking wor1men
have made frequent threats to blow
up the bridge unless their grievances
We're adjusted, and as result two
watchmen have been on guard at the
bridge every night.
Watchmen Feiled by Blast.
Wednesday, when the futile attempt
was made to destroy the other bridge,
another Waterman was added to the
force and all three were on duty We'd
nesday night. They patroled the en-
bankment all night without seing a
sign to indicate that everything was
not all right. Just as dawn was break
ing there came a fish near the first
span, followed by a terrific report and
the grinding and tearing of the great
steel Orders. Two of the watchmen,
who we're within fifty feet of the end
Of the bridge. were thrown to the
ground Hundreds of windows in the
vicinity were broken.
Fire at Fugitives.
AS the watchmen scrambled to their
feet they saw two men dashing away
through the semi-darkness. A fusil-
lsr.e of shots was sent after the fleeing
men, but none of them reached the
mark and the men escaped.
1t is believed that it will take two
months or more to repair the damage
done. Much of the steel on the south
end of the bridge is so twisted and
bent that it is useless for anything
except the scrap heap.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1908-05-28
Admits Writing to Girl.
GOVERNMENT SUES ROAD.
Would Prevent Consolidation With B.
& M. and Take Away Trolley.

& M. and Take Away Trolley.
Boston, May "a. = A bill in equity
to restrain the. New York, New Ha-
ven & Hartford Railroad company
from exercising any control over the
Boston g. Maine railroad and to sepa-
rate the New Haven road from the
various trolley lines it has acquired,
was filed in the United States circuit
court here yesterday by United
States District Attorney Asa P.
French, acting for the federal gov
eminent.
The bill in equity was brought I'M
der the Sherman act OF 1890, and
charges that the New Haven road ac-
quired numerous trolley lines and is
attempting to control the Boston G.
Maine railroad in restraint of trade.
Would Become Monopoly.
The petition claims that if the New
Haven road is not restrained from
holding the trolley lines and voting
stock of the Boston & Maine road
a situation will be created with re-
spect to the transportation instru-
mentalities and facilities of New Eng
land which will eventually enable the
New Haven company to control for all
time the interstate transportation not
only among the New England states,
but between such states and the sew
eral other states Of the Union.
The defendants in the bill are the
New Haven company, the Boston &
Maine Railroad company, the Consol-
idated Railway company and the
Providence Securities company
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1908-05-28
Friday.

Washington May %. = Practically
all hope of ship subsidy was aban-
doned yesterday when the house, by
vote of 145 to 1856 rejected the con-
ference report on the postoffice appro-
priation bill containing provision
therefor. and on which the principal
fight was made. The bill was sent
back to conferences, and there now is
little prospect that the house con-
ferees will yield to the senate.
By strict party vote Of $50 to 1875
a campaign contribution publicity bill
with an amendment providing for
reduction Of representation in the
house in the Southern states was
passed. The Democrats voted against
the bill because Of the amendment.
The open session of the senate was
concluded yesterday with an extend
ed debate on the power of congress to
regulate interstate and foreign COM
mere and negative poll, % to so
was taken on motion to adopt the
Foraker substitute for the interstate
commerce commission resolution ex-
tending the time when the penalty
provision Of the commodity clause of
the Hepburn railroad rate law is to
take effect. The Foraker substitute
provided that the prohibition against
railroads transporting across state
lines coal or other articles produced
BY them shall apply only to property
acquired since the passage of the
Hepburn rate bill, May 80, 1906. The
committee resolutions applied to all
products without limitation concern
ing the time of ownership.
Pierre weekly free press. (Pierre, S.D.) 1889-19??, 1908-05-28
Ordinances Attack Saloons,

Chippewa Falls, Wis, May %. -
-Four stringent ordinances relating to
regulation Of saloons have been intro
duced in the city council The ordi-
nances provide for the closing OF sa-
looms at II o'clock at night on week
days and all day Sunday; prohibi
selling liquor and having screens in
doors and windows during closing
hours.