The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1908-09-02
Stories of the Streets and Town

come to you 1 want to have that
understood before I begin"
That's understood" said the den
tist- Lean back. please, and open
| your mouth and LET me see what's
the trouble"
wait a minute" said the man.
Don't you tell me that you intend to
conduct the examination from the
outside l know that, too I'm not
going to open my mouth any wider
than l can without hurting 1t unless
it's necessary, so you needn't De
alarmed. l know that's just profess
sional joke, but 1 don't like profess
sional jokes"
Il won't make any" the dentist as
sUred him
If you think you've got to I'LL the
tooth you needn't get jOculaT about
the dam that you're going to put into
my mouth There are twenty five den
fists in this building besides yourself
and I'll bet SO that there isn't one
of them that hasn't sprung that bon
mot every time he's pulled a sheet of
rubber over a tooth"
III KEEP it in mind" said the
dentists
L wish that you would said the
man. I'll be Obliged to you. And
while you might be quite right in sur
missing that | never expected to wear
a golden crown until after I went to
that bouTn from whence-that jest,
too, will be superfuous."
Are you ready nOw?" asked the
dentist.
Just a word or two more. as a
matter of precautiOn," said the man
If you think you have to put in
bridge, say so plainly and simply
and don't consider the possibility of
a ferry answering the purpose"
Well" said the dentist, a little
impatiently.
I've come to have my teeth fixed. !"
continued the man. That's the pur-
pose l entertained in visiting You. /
expect to suffer physically, but l
haven't any potion of allowing you to
infiict mental anguish on me at the
same time, if l can help it,"
Quite right, and there's no occa-
sion for it," agreed the dentist
you needn't tell me. either. that
you aren't going to hurt me-" stipu-
lated the patient. That might go
with somebody who'd never been in
dentists chair before, but this
isn't the first time with me and |
know blamed well that you re going
to hurt me. The painless claims OF
dentistry apply strictly and solely to
the practitioner. You need not ask
me if you hurt me. You'll hear me
holler and feel me jump and that
ought to be enough without asking
fool questions, l should think
Il haven't any doubt that 1 shall
be able to tell" said the dentist. Il
might put a glass of water handy for
you to throw at me if l don't seem to
understand and you object to telling
me, however"
Il don't want to offend you" said
the patient Don't miscOnstrue what
I'm saying ] want TO get this over
with as amicaDly as possible and I'm
a few of the things that
have a tendency to irritate me You
can't cheer me up with witticfsms
You couldn't make me laugh with
laughing gas and It would interrupt
your work, anyway, If INDUCED in FITS
Of miTth. I'll tell you now that my
worst tooth-the one that spurred me
to action-has stopped aching 1t
in the elevator, so | feel quite indie
pendent about It. Some men would
have turned around and left the bu1Id-
ing without paying you a cent for the
effect of your name as they read it
in the directory, but I'm not that
kind"
Are you ready to open your mouth
and let me begin now?" asked the
dentist
ooh. darn it," said the Pensacola
man well, I suppose if 1 must /
must"