davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26
JAYHAWKER JOTS

The Salina Sage observes that
Every mother wants her boy TO be as
great as Lincoln, but the boy constant
ly strives to emulate Brown of the
Chicago Cubs"
The strawberry medal goes to
Hutchinsonian. Ed Benham, living in
the north end of that town, declares
that he picked some strawberries the
other morning from vines growing out
of doors at his home. He says he
picked three ripe berries of the sec
ond crop on the vines this season and
that the vines still have some bios
SONS on them.
The play of Lord Rosslyn against
an imaginary Monte Carlo bank to see
If his system could break it, recalls to
Kansas oid-timers the story told on
George r. Peck. when the latter was
1.-THE whole thing" in this state. Peck
looked pretty glum one morning when
one of his friends met him and asked
him the source of his trouble. Il lost
$4,000 playing poker" Lost $780,
0OO," shrieked the friend in dismay.
yes. $4,000" replied Peck, lighting
his cigar, and knocking the ashes
from his vest. "And the worst part of
it is that five dollars of it was cash
money"
Old Bill Shiftless came to town Sat-
urday TO see if he couldn't borrow a
few books to read during these chilly
evenings, says the Osborne Farmer.
Bill is again talking about moving to
town. His father-in-law owns resi-
dence in town and Bill says If he can
get the old man to fix it up little
he will move into it. Mrs. Shiftless
now milks the COWS and feeds the
SOW and pigs and Bill says it will be
just as easy for her in town as in the
country. Old Bill was full of information
about politics. Something has got
to be DONE" said Bill. II have always
been a Republican, but this year 1 in
tend to vote for Bryan. L am satisfied
that the trusts are putting up money
for Taft's campaign and I will do MOTH
ing to help out the corporations. AS
long as the trusts control things we
poor people stand no show. 1 believe
in letting the people rule and shall
vote that way"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

These storms Of late have been real
I'll winds for the ducks who are pur-
suing their migratory flights to the
south. for the ducks dislike to fly in
stormy weather. and then when they
settle down on creeks and ponds await
ing the storm to blow over, it is a case
of their hopping out OF a frying pan
into a fire, for the voracious nimrods
hurry forth with their guns and make
life for the ducks miserable and often
fatal. So the ducks are not to be en-
We'd these days. And speaking of
ducks, more than passing notice is due
to the remarkable vision of one Of
Topeka's authorities on ducks. He re-
ports seeing a flock of teals flying over
the city recently which was a quarter
of a mile long. How wide it was he
does not say, but just as it stands it
may be set down as something of a
duck story.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26
GLOBE SIGHTS.

(From the Atchison Globe.)
Some tubs have no bottoms to stand
on.
A German was telling the other day
of an incident that occurred forty-five
years ago. This was Western Kan
sas then" he said.
Some women should explain why a
woman thinks her toilet isn't COM
plete unless she has a dab of powder
on her nose.
It's a boys opinion that when the
preacher offers thanks at the table,
he has a perfect right to peep to see
if there is anything on the table
worth giving thanks for.
So many varieties of cakes. cookies
and crackers are put up in fancy
boxes that children are being brought
up without ever seeing their mother
make cookies, receiving as a reward
for being good. a cooky man.
saying. 81 want you to meet my
friend" and after you have given
him the slip, leave the main road
and sneak through the timber to avoid
meeting the friend who has Just read
book and wants you to read 1t that
haven't the time to waste: Life is
short, the grave digger is looking you
up, and you haven't any time to throw
away on a worthless book.
what" writes a distracted mother
to this office, shall 1 do. My daugh-
ter is going with the wrong kind of a
man. Advice is kindly solicited. If
there is any one clever enough to
think up a plan of turning the girl
from the wrong man, send it in.
The world is old and gray, and mil
lions of hearts have ached that have
long since turned to dust, all because
daughter "is going with the wrong
kind of a man." but no one has ever
discovered way for bringing daugh-
ter to her senses other than the plan
of letting her marry him.
A very tired woman realized that
she was about to die. The fruit was
not all put UP, there was the fall
house-cleaning to do. and the chill
dren's clothes to be made for school
and so many other things needing at
tention that she felt 1t was nothing
short of shiftlessness for her to lie
down and die, and leave SO much un-
done. But the doctors told her she
was going; there was no help for it,
and was there q last word she wanted
to say. Tell them" she said. think
ing of the sewing. cooking. cleaning.
ETC., ito put on my tombstone Just
these words: Mother Has Gone on
Her First Vacation
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26
JOURNAL ENTRIES

None but married women go to
clubs to look for husband.
X X
An adopted child is distinguished
over other children because its foster
parents picked it out.
X X X
Boarding house pancakes are often
reminiscent of a ball game in that the
batter doesn't always make a hit.
X
Most people only play bridge whist
for fun but there isn't any fun in it
for them unless they are playing for
money.
Y X
Evidence is apparent among many
persons who have been to school or
college that there is quite a difference
between studying and learning.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.l
No man can be happy unless he can
forget things.
Too many friends will put a man In
the poor house.
The Temple of Debt has more en-
frances than exits.
The fellow who looks out for No. 1
is seldom back number.
The trouble with taking up a fad is
that it also takes up so much time
It's no fun for a woman to tell a
secret to anyone she thinks will keep It.
AS a rule It isn't the girl with a
cold manner who freezes on to a fellow
If a sailor has a wife in every port
It's no wonder he spends most of his
time at sea.
The only man who can afford to give
UP to his ideals is the man who is
satisfied to stay poor.
Some women would like to get mar
ried with a brass band. but not In the
form of a wedding ring.
She-'T believe there are times when
every man deceives his wife," He
Sure. How else could he ever get her
to marry him in the first placer"
Blobbs--'That's a queer idea of
Henpeckke's of going out to the Gene
terry and communing at the grave Of his
wife's first husband" Slobbs-"Oh.
don't know. You see misery loves COM
pany.'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

Speaking of this man Shiras. of
Kansas City, who is accused of having
robbed the Washburn Football team
of the game at st. Marys recently.
brings to mind another Shiras, a JUS
tice OF the United States supreme
court, who reversed his vote in the
famous case which was to decide the
constitutionality of the income tax
Jaw passed in the Cleveland adj
Mainistration. Representative De Ar
mond of Missouri denounced Shiras on
the floor OF congress in the following
language: when the names of
greater and better men have been
buried in oblivion the name of Justice
Shiras will still be spoken by mankind
in words of scorn and contumely.'
Diamonds prophecy or the Justice
shiras will likely hold good of Referee
Shiras so far as friends of Washburn
are concerned.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26
KANSAS COMMENT
ROOSEVELT AS AN EDIToR.

ROOSEVELT AS AN EDITOR.
The latest report is that President
roosevelt has signed a contract to be-
come associate editor of the Outlook
upon the completion of his term of Of
nee. whether he will wait until after
MS African hunt before actively as
stunning MS journalistic duties is not
stated, but the subjects which he will
handle are given. His work will
cover political and economic topics.
Iheodore Roosevelt will be well
coined to the newspaper field. The
weekly editors especially will receive
MIN with the utmost cordially and If
ne reciprocates that cordially there
is no telling what eminence he may
attain in the profession and in the
hearts of his fellows. The paper with
which he identifies himself already is
well known and he will add to its
present excellent reputation. Dr. Ly-
man Abbott, its editor, is held in high
esteem but he has not been so free
to mix" as the boys" could have
wished. Consequently he has not
peen conspicuous as number of the
mutual admiration society" But
with Roosevelt it is different. He is
recognized as one of the best mixers"
ever He will have none of the schol-
arly. exclusiveness of his boss, DR..
Abbott, and doubtless he will be as
signed to the job of meeting and jolly
Ing the papers friends, at which he
would soon become a master. Then if
ne would take little pains to join and
become active in his district and state
editorial associations he might hope
in time to become a delegate to the
national editorial association and
might even aspire, with a fair pros
pect of success, to the presidency of
that body.
OF course, IL the president delays
his essay into Journalism until after
his African hunt it will retard his pro-
gress in the profession just that
much. But Mr. Roosevelt is ready
writer and once he gets "the hang of
the shop" and locates the spit box
he Will make rapid progress. He
may succeed In popularizing the Out
look so that it will be read by others
than the very cultured" and with
New York as field and Mr. Roose-
fuential citizens of that town he ought
to Improve it's local greatly. Doubt
less he has already begun. like every
ambitious novice in the profession, to
plan improvements but If he should
be shy of ideas he could get some
capital suggestions by putting a score
of the brightest Kansas weeklies on
his exchange list. 1t has been GUS
tomary from time immemorial-or
somewhere back therefor neighbor-
ing papers to extend a welcome to a
new editor and here is our hand. We
predict for Mr.. Roosevelt the success
full career in his new field to which
his talents entitle him.-Hutchinson
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

To an unprejudiced observer it would
seem that the joke is decidedly on
Henderson Martin, chairman of the
Democratic state committee and that
he has been hoist by his own petard. .
Mr.. Martin has been dissertating ex-
tensively in allegations to the effect
that under the new tax law the taxes
of the ordinary taxpayer have been in
creased. From figures taken off the
tax books of his own county it would
appear that Mr.. Martins taxes are
about II per cent less under the new
law than they were under the old law.
But, however, when a gentleman is
making a statement of any sort, pres
ent company, including himself, is gen.
orally excepted
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

Mark Hanna has probably taken an
uneasy turn or two in his grave If the
information has reached him that his
Republican friends are experiencing ali
kinds of trouble in getting sufficient
monetary ammunition to carry on their
national campaign as they would like
to. 1t was as easy for Mr.. Hanna to
gather in a monumental campaign
fund as is rolling off log. but then it
must be remembered that he had the
Republicans old friends. the corpora
lions to call on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26
FROM OTHER PENS
CAUSE OF FOREST FIRES.

New York's upstate public service
commission is investigating the relation
of the railroads to forest fires One of
the railroad men who appeared thought
1t was campers and everybody else who
caused the fires, but not railroads Mr.
Agar, speaking for the association for
the protection of the Adirondacks. de-
clared that 80 per cent of the fires were
set by locomotives and one particular
instance was cited where an engine
with a broken grate-bar set many fires
on a single run by scattering live Goals
along the track. On the other hand,
there has not been fire for "a years
along the line of a small road, oper-
ating on the state reservation, which
uses oil-burning engines.
The railroad men object to the expense
of fitting the locomotives used in the
Adirondacks with oil burners, but there
are only little more than a hundred
locomotives in the forest section, and
$40 000, 900 worth of property is imper-
lied by forest fires. Electric power
generated by the streams has been pro-
posed, but the railroad men object that
the streams are low at the season when
there is the most railroad traffic.
Forest fires in New York were very
fully reported on three or four years
ago and at that time the railroads were
held to be the chief culprits. These
fires are a great danger to life and
property. and that locomotives cause
many of them is beyond question. In
this state recently limited response
bility for fires has been imposed upon
the railroads. They are certainly In
duty bound to refrain from scattering
sparks all over the country they trav-
erse.-Philadelphia Record.
PROSPERITY THAT ENDANGERS.
1t is a matter of history that all
panics struck us in prosperous times
Much money makes much debt; much
debt makes much interest, until finally
you have to borrow money to pay in
terest and then the jig's up. Business
is like a man. He must be temper
ate cool-headed, living within his
means and keeping out OF deep water,
If he would succeed in life. And SO 1t
is with business. If it would prosper. 1t
must be kept steady and stra1ghtfor-
ward; but in actual experience there
are recklessness, plunging, visionary
schemes and finally collapse. 1t is,
after all, a moral question Whether a
man has a right to cut loose from the
shore of truth and the reality of things
and buccaneer out in the sea OF ad-
venture and piracy in the hopes OF
capturing rich argosy Because
men do that. taking advantage of a
prosperous moment when they can
rig up their ships, is the explanation
of the most panics that a1fnct the
country. If we don't want panics we
must live no faster than we can i've
soberly and temperately.-Ohio State
Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

Several suffragettes in England are
evidently making their plans to de-
velop into martyrs of some sort. They
prefer the humiliation of serving
terms in Jail, which have been pro-
nounced against them for divers bits
of disorderly conduct. rather than
give bonds for their good behavior in
the future. 1t has ever been a gen
orally accepted theory that real out
and out ladies are always on their
good behavior. But probably the
English suffragettes are of another
brand. From their actions. it would
seem So
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26
HUMOR or THE DAY

in the Philippines. Gotham-Oh, has foot
Statesman.
Iow is yeung GhSnketi GETTING citing on Sar ,n
made the scrub team his first year II he
hadn't been deficient in all of his studies"
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Diggs-You believe that whisky is good
fSr di epi You Rhow I've noticed
that you nearly always have a cold.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
squire's Daughter-would you mind
throwing your little boy INTO the pondE
Vi ft GEE Ivy not. sSuires Daughter
Il do wish you would. You're the second
woman I've asked who has said No
Punch.
What will we do when the trees are
Il suppose" answered the serenely solemn
statesman after some thought, that IN
for wood an entirely on the he lumber-yards~
WASHINGTON Star.
you not by words rt,rti but by deeds" oh.
George. did you bring the deeds with your
Baltimore American.
''whv does he hang around the piano?
He lust murdered his song. We'll. they
the scene of the offense. Cour-
ier-Journal
His Neighbor-whom are you going to
vote for. Pat? Pat-Begorra. I'm not
goin' to be after losin' me vote, SO I'll
vote for nayther wan or the other.-Puck.
You are not very enthusiastic about the
Corntossei. 'The nearest kin ever git to
enthusiasm in any election is to persuade
myself to cheer up an hope fer the best"
Washington Star.
MY. friend do. you worship your Gre
vidual. Sure" replied the man with the
red tie. I'm a self-made man."-Phil-
adelphia Record.
What kind of a table do. you set?''
had advertised FOR " summer boarders
by return mail.-Chicago Daily News.
mo. friend: ]. amt no hobo. ner vag.
fer I'm merely leadin dis kind Of life
to gather material fer book on tramps.
p pr nee 1 type ~ of bum T .'UTouisvilie
Courier-Journal.
of ready-made wisdom II guess answer
ed Mr.. Comrox. that you never had any
regulate their ' polite ss by the Size ~1 Of
the p"-washington Star.
Proof Desired-."waiter. is this egg
fresh?' "Yassahi Yassah! Laid dis
mawnin'. sah." "H'ml Waiter was the
Foreign Suitor-I would give up ten
thousand milreis to win your love. Miss
Pittsburc-How much is that in United
States money? Suitor-Almost five dol
larsi-Puck
Mrs. Henpeck Ito her husband)-what
would you do If I were to die? Henpeck.-
1t would drive me crazy. Mrs. H.-Would
YOU marry again? Henpeck-I don't think
/ would be as crazy that.-Pioneer
Press.
She-This dress doesn't become my COM
plexion. must change 1t. He-More ex-
Dense? can't stand IT: you'll ruin me.
She-You silly I don't mean the dress-T
mean the comp1exion.-ChicagoJ Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

A Democratic victory in Kansas this
fall might be mighty desirable. if only
for one thing. It would provide the
means for ascertaining whether or not
General w. H. L. Pepperell, the genial
secretary of the Democratic state COM
mittee, can put a broader and happier
smile on his face. Maybe not because
he now thinks a Democratic victory In
the state is certain.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
(From the New YORK Pressl

(From the New York Press.)
The reason a girl can like an old
man Is so she can love a young one.
People can get much more interested
in new football rules than in changes
that ought to be made in the country's
Constitution.
What makes reception a great sue
cess for woman who goes to 1t Is not
what happened, but what kind of
clothes she wore at 1t.
All man has to do to win a girls
heart is to make her think a faded
flower she gave him is worth more
than million dollars in government
bonds would be.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

Any number of home tests and cures
for various human ailments are being
advertised in the newspapers nowadays
but 1t would be more acceptable to the
majority If some one would come
through with an efficient home test
and cure for ailing gas and water me-
ters
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

An extensive straw vote on the polit-
ical conditions existing among the vo-
ters OF Illinois has been made by the
Chicago Record Herald and 1t indicates
a substantial plurality for Mr.. Taft
on election day.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

The State Journal Is a member OF the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report Of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news is received IN The State Jour-
nOaA
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

That all the wisdom in the world
did not die with Solomon is made
apparent once again by a recent de-
cision of New Jersey judge. The case
Mt hand revolved around the owner
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

His Neighbor-whom are you going to
vote for. Pat? Pat-Begorra I'm not
goin' to be after losin me vote, so I'll
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

Darling. 1 mean to prove my love for
you. not by words. but by deeds" "Oh.
George did you bring the deeds with your
Baltimore American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

MY friend do you worship your Gre
ator?' asked the solemn visaged indi-
vidual Sure" replied the man with the
red tie. I'm a self-made man."-Phil-
adelphia Record
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

WHY does he hang around the piano?
He lust murdered his song" well, they
claim a criminal can't keep away from
the scene of the offense. louisville Cour-
ier-Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

You are not very enthusiastic about the
election" Nope" answered Farmer
Corntossel. THE nearest kin ever git to
enthusiasm in any election is to persuade
myself to cheer up an hope fer the best"
Washington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

What kind of a table do you set?"
wrote the city chap to an old farmer who
had advertised for summer boarders.
"Quarter-oak extension" came the reply
by return mail.-Chicago Daily News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

What will we do when the trees are
destroyed?" asked the forestry experts.
II suppose" answered the serenely solemn
statesman after some thought. that In
such an event we will be obliged to depend
for wood entirely on the lumber-yards.
Washington Star
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

mo friend. amt no hobo. ner vag.
I'm lest .walkin around de world on a
fer I'm merely leadin' dis kind of a life
to gather material fer book on tramps.
an ! was about to get yer down fer a
pronounced type of bum. "-Louisville
Courier Journal.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

Church-Afy son lost an eye and an arm
In the Philippines. Gotham-Oh, has foot
ball reached there already?-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

Squire's Daughter-Would you mind
throwing your little boy into the pond?
want to see If my dog will RESCUE him.
Il do wish you would. You're the second
woman I've asked who has said NO
Punch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

'Politeness costs nothing" said the man
of ready-made wisdom. IT guess" answer
ed Mr.. Comrox. that you never had any
experience with these cafe walters who
regulate their. politeness by the size OF
the tip."-Wa shington Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-26

Diggs-You believe that whisky is good
for a cold. don't you? Swiggs-Yes; but
how did you know? Diggs-Oh, I've noticed
that you nearly always have a cold.-Chi-
cago Daily News.