Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-05-01

and engage quarters in the garage
for one 4O-h0rse power elephant,
and one 9O-horse power Teddy Bear.
Mr.. Bryan will start for Denver in
1-mule power runabout Congress
will adjourn about the 10th, and the
members will go home and explain.
The watchful tabbycat will get
The helpless little flicker,
And the prohibitionists will set
A few more traps for liquor.
The sun will rise at 6 O'Clock and
go to bed at Z; and the sweet June
bride will contemplate the near ap-
proach of Heaven. The breath of
May will bring the fern, the rose and
| buttercup, and the farmers wife will
milk and churn before the men get
up. The boys will skin the slippery
elm with Jimmie's barlow-knife, and
the ice man will be out to skin the
innocent housewife. The frog will
sound a richer bass from rivers and
ravines, and man will tone his sys-
tenn up with sassafras and greens.
And then the city border will
Begin to correspond
With some bucolic country place
OF which his wife is fond.
The host will promise country fare,
That most revered of boons,
And place his order up at town
For seven tons of prunes.
The graduates will choose a theme
for his great June grafton, and plan
to tell us what is good for this ne
| elected nation; the music school will.
| graduate Ophelia and Viola and when
they both come home they will buy
themselves pianola.
The thresher will descant at eve
Upon the passing day,
The festive colt will fill his tum
With prophylactic hay;
The chicken hawk will pounce upon
The fat buff-cochin fries,
And the horse will whirl his tail
piece at
The all-tarnation files.
The Saxons called the month Tri-
Milki, because at this season the
dairyman makes the milk of three
parts-one part milk, one part water
and one part formaldehyde.
May is from the Latin Maius, Just
as June takes its name from Junior.
es, the Juniors. That is, this is q
month when old heads are at theil
best, and young men like Bill Taft
and Ted Roosevelt will have to look
out for old tops like Uncle Joe Can.
non and Uncle John Rockefeller
About the 25th, nobody much will
care to bet that Uncle Joe will moi
be nominated for president, or thai
Uncle John will pay that thirty mil
lion dollar fine.
May is bad month to wed in,
1 %ol 81
Such cases, the stork, as custom
4 begins
] The young husbands troubles, {
! horrors, with twins.
After the 23d, May will be under
the influence Of Gemini, the sign Of
the arms. Boys born in Gemini will
want to bear arms. They will be sold
iers and work for the government
at $13 a month.
/ Gemini people are restless. The,
move all the time, and you Away!
have to ask them where they arr
living now. They have brilliant i'm
aginations, and think Bryan will
have walkover. They are foolish
and think Taft won't get the coloret
vote. They are brutally honest, ant
generally tell the young mother tina
her baby is ugly.
i The June announcements will bt
made, and Madam Gould will dor
her fighting cap and say that sht
will marry Prince Sagan; wherea
her Boni, whom she had to forcibl,
detach, will challenge Helie to come
out and fight a splitting match. The
prince will buy some navy plug, ant
Bony buy the same, and both viii
hurry to the field of sudden deatt
or fame; and while the doctors hur
ry up, lest some bold fighter dies