Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-01-23
A G 1 r L.

eighteen years Of earthly woe, and he
was highly sensitized by nature, al-
though his father was a bluff old cod
ger without an ounce of nonsense In
his whole makeup.
John Jappers fell In love. He had
girl, at least he thought he had, and he
thought he had said interesting things
and quoted poetry enough to make her
just crazy to have him propose. One
day he concluded he would try to see
how an offer OF marriage, made in
true knightly style, would affect her
He arrayed himself in purple and fine
linen, so to speak, made himself look
as ravishingly beautiful as he could
be and sought his divinity.
Coaxing her into the parlor, where
they might be unobserved, he proceed
ed In due and regular form to offer
himself Did that girl swoon from ex-
cessive gladness? Did Miss Pinky
Brown fling herself on his clean shirt
front and SWIVEL in ecstasy? Well, not
to any great extent.
On the contrary, she laughed in his
face and called him fool; told him to
go home and ask his mother for a
gingersnap, and when he seized her by
the hand and attempted to demonstrate
her black and tan terrier seized him
by the calf Of his leg and attempted
to extract a soup piece from 1t.
Jappers felt his proud heart break.
He wished he had snuff to put in that
dogs eyes and pistol ball to put be-
tween his own. He waited like a mar
tyr until that pet Of hers had got
through with his lunch, and then, TAX
ing his hat, he strobe haughtily from
the house, resolved to die, to smother
his grief in the lethean wave of OBJ
livion.
Looking neither'to the right nor left,
he made his way to an apothecary's
store and said he wanted a dose Of
arsenic to kill cat. The druggist had
often met these crazy looking chaps
who wanted to poison cats and rats
and things, and, concluding at most
that he would only make the cat sick
| of her existence for n few hours, he
| proceeded to put up a strong emetic,
with which our heroic youth strobe
home, fully resolved on funeral.
! Going to his chamber, he wrote the
following note and left 1t on the ia.
BILE:
Friends Of This Earth-Fates has frac-
| tured my heart. She whom / worshiped
has laughed at my love and set her dog
1
tomb. I cannot live in the same world
with her and know that / am scorned. /
have taken arsenic.
Then he took the emetic. Being
strong, 1t worked hurriedly. It appear
ed to waltz through his troubled In
terror, and he moaned like a stricken
calf. The family rushed up to his
room in great alarm. His father gruff-
ly asked him what the matter was, and
he pointed to the paper on the table.
The old man seized and read 1t.
"Ill be hanged IL the cussed idiot
hasn't been taking arsenicp he ex-
claimed, and, selling his hat, he rush
ed out for the nearest physician.
Grabbing a stomach pump, the doc
tor was soon at the bedside of his
bowling patient. Then the fun began
The parent Of that poor boy sat upor
his stomach, while the doctor applied
the pump, and the experience that he
underwent for the next ten minutes
was quite enough to make any mar
sigh for "the silent tomb" He coulG
feel 1t pull on his very corns.
After nearly turning him inside ou
1Or4nv HtsnnrTnwnE f.O
and llmbered up his machine" to g,
home. That matter of fact father fol
lowed him to know why he withdrew
II he was quite sure he had pumped
him dry, when the doctor informed
him that he had been made n fool of
that the boy had taken an emetic ant
that he would take $40 for his trou
BILE In relieving him of 1t.
That matter of fact parent paid tn
bill and showed Mr. Medico out o
doors, and then, with a flood of pa
ternal love light in his eyes, he return
ed to his son.
He ordered the others from the room
and, after locking the door, he bega
to act the part of an Indian medicin
man with the sufferer.
He warmed him with rattan cane
He sat upon him and busted the mos
distended portions of his pantaloon
with the nalm OF his hand. He too
him by the two legs and, holding hir
up as he would a carcass of muttor
he jounced his head on the floor sel
eral times.
"Therel" said he, after his parents
love had spent itself. 'If ever cate
you making such COMPOUNDED mule {
yourself again I'll cram a pound OF n
troglycerin down your throat an
throw you out of the window. If 70
want to die I'll ak you myself br
don't let me see any more suicide
this house."
!, Then he left that tender youth to h
own sad reflections What they wei
may be inferred; but. somehow. /
} didn't care half so much for Pink
a