Evening journal., 1908-01-16
Personal and Pertinent

Woodruff, Harvard himself and the star in
o"n OF Harvard was called upon in the St Franois
ucsque handsomely attired beautiful younF ,riri ,th
ntro,ood Iya roses on her hat and in her grde She
know me, but I'm just crazy to 80 on the saeeis N'
woodruff, who is rather small man and blond look,
head gravely. Suppose" he said You were Vn 10 % m m
le stage say in the company with me- ana there
o ~ sIe re- scene ana rescue and the hero and
Yes Yes yes; oh. so on; how perfectly fascinatlnglr
and Gnu m @ mere was no one to save us Just two alone
And not a soul looking?"
Nopouy near 10 help u.s."
49, Then hen ia grab you right up. Mr. woodruff and carry
you out to safe'yl'-san Francisco Chronicle
spiritualist medium came to a house ana o,,r,os .
oe 70 locate lost friends. The residents had an old
morse which they had sold years before and the ola
of the house wanted TO know where he was she hoy
we we naa very good friend who always did all our
work. lie passed from years ago and the at
we heard OF him that he was in Los Aneeles" rh
mouum t . ma9e Few mysterious motions knocked on
the table and then said; W
Your friend is in Los Angeles and Is roarr,oa 4.
'''' young man'-Philadepha Ledger.
stuyvesant Fish," said Pittsburr banker gs 4. ,,.,
th Sns peIson. 10 get along with him. you must be
S SuIess Tor dinner-all that of thing If YOU
ooht come up TO his standard he Is ant To sax, some
very cutting things about YOU
4 once sat beside Mr. Fish at a dinner M the rrn,o,
League In New York Mr.. Fish when the som cane
pe 70 cast sneering glances az stout faced
0nsP & opposite u.s. and finally he whispered to me;
.. That man is from Montreal / can tell it by his
hasn't spoken M ''s'' u'e man
Mr Fishs lip curled in a scornfu smile
h nu relelenee he said, to the accent with which
young tngishman with a title and a healthy an
peute recently went 10 spend few days az roonss,e
N Switzerland BY chance he arrived on FRIDAY ,ybe1
the iare was especially frugal He had little 10 ss tbot
Gay Gay ana went to bed hungry During the night as Is
men custom one Of the fathers to the cells with
eehealeuon Ihe Lord be with YOU" which of conrse
ne sad IN Latin When he TO the door of the visi
Sr Gel ne knocked and said, "Dominus tecumi" who's
peated, "Dominus tecumi" .Ah thanks Pm -
obliged said has lordshp. getting out OF bed pieasa
put Il down outsde"-Beman.
I've never tried be funny with a waiter. N. -. .
uineu s traveller was saying, "snce the time when
haa little experience with one in California n WA
several years aso. and rather fresh stepned
so restaurant one morning and ordered an omeet
What kindT asked the waiter
Why. are there more kinds than oneg'r said
IN yes sf' ne answered me, there are several,
..WNn.3 Ws.3 eilng me an ostreh-egg omeet'
All right sir he said, but you'll have 10 wait on,,o
omelet' '" an osuleh-esg
7 told him had plenty Of time He went away and
big covered dish. wiz"
There you are, sir. he said, placing it before me
and uncovoTing H.,
well was an omelet all right and big enough for
halt dozen mcn Whether there ostrich farm
IN the neshborhood and he got real ostrich egg or
Whether ne made II from couple OF dozen eggs
don't know, but distinctly remember that it cost me
Companion.
It was close midnight and the professional guest
fe't II vas high time for him stop playing
Perhaps I'd better not play any more tonight" he
sao, YEARLY y see you have neighbors they
might be annoyed"
You needn't mind them for minute" said his host
ess' earnestly We are perfectly they poisoned
our cat and # they did, nothing is bad them'-
Youths Companion