The Tupelo journal., 1908-07-31
A SYMPATHIzINC
FRIEND
BY Max AdeIer.

coroner, Barney Maginn, sitting upon
the steps of his porch, with his face
between his knees, his hands locked
over the knees, and his mind evident
ly in a state of deep dependency
Peter is sympathetic, as well as talk
alive, and, taking a seat by the side OF
Maginn, he said:
What's the matter, Barney?"
"Oh. nothing"
Because if you're grieving over
that horse of yours that died yester
day, you're doing wrong. You ought
to be glad he's dead and safe. He haG
the glanders awful. Now, if he'd lived
maybe you'd "a caught them from
him: then Mrs. Maginn and the children
might "a got them; then they'd "a
given them to other folks, and in about
a week the whole town'd "a been shut
fling around with the CHAMBERS, With
their jaws swelled out terrific; and
other towns'd "a caught them. and
they'd "a spread all over the world
and made the whole human race sick
as thunder before they'd a been
stopped. for all you know"
That isn't worrying me any said
Mr.. Maginn.
Then it must be because the
Washy Hose company has elected
Prince von Bulow an honorary mem.
Der. and he's accepted, while the F..
deity Hook and Ladder, your com
pany, haven't got any bigger honorary
member than Bishop Potts. Now, ]
wouldn't distress myself about that.
Barney. What's the use? You know
well enough old Won Bulow's not going
to come over here and run with those
fellows. He's not going to grab a
trumpet and go pelting and hollering
to a fire, and shin up a ladder with a
section of hose, and yell through his
trumpet for them to turn on the water
and then climb down and mash a Fl
deity mans nose with a spanner.
He's not that kind of a man. He's too
busy. Those Hohenzollerns amt go
ing to let him hustle around squirting
at fires while they can afford to pay
him a salary. They're too much at.
tached to him. So cheer up. 1t isn't
worth bothering about"
ct isn't bothering me-" said Mr.. Ma.
ginn, still keeping his head down and
splitting over his toes.
"Well, if it's those cramps in your
stomach coming on again-well, what's
the odds? They amt going to XIII
you. l wouldn't let them make me low
eD;r;toI I,o, uLo LoI
cramps down there for 35 years
straight ahead without any let-up; but
he wore a smile all that time, and was
always cheerful. You just tackle
them. You spread a mustard-plaster
owe the outside, and put some pare
and lay over the back of a chair when
they hurt you bad, and get your wife
to knead your stomach once a day
with the potato-masher or something,
or else thump yourself with a rolling
pin, and you'll be all right. in a little
while. You're an American citizen.
think of what the patriots suffered in
the revolution. Think of Valley Forge
and the heroes who bled there, and a
mere cramp in the stomach seems ri
diculous. Now, don't be miserable
about it,"
Il haven't got any cramp," replied
Mr.. Maginn.
There's YOUR ~mother-in-law, |
know she died on Saturday, but what's
the good of going on about her? She's
dead and there's an end of it. You
might blubber your head off and she
wouldn't come back. She knows when
she's we'll off. You ought to try to
bear up under it. These Affections
come to all of us; they are meant for
our good. l dare say that old lady put
away ten dollars worth of victuals in
a week. Now she never gets hungry,
and you bag the difference. You das,
sent chew tobacco in the house when
she was around. Now that she's an
angel she amt so particular, and you
can spit all over the carpet If you've a
mind to. And there's one bed less to
make, and not so many clothes in the
wash, and the soap goes farther; so
any way you look at IT her loss is your
gain; and unless she turns into a ghost
and haunts you, which l don't believe
she's capable of, you ought to rejoice
hat you've shook her"
Il am glad. 1t doesn't trouble me at
ALL" said Maginn.
81 was going to say" continued
Peter, that if you were low-spirited
because Pitman's dog licked your dog
IN that fight on Wednesday, it was fool
lsh, because all you've got to do is to
iced your dog on raw beef for a while
and then iron-clad him with an elbow
Of stovepipe, and set him on Pitman's
dog some time when you get a chance.
Why, he'll eat that animal up. He'll
chew the vitality out of him. Any
how, what does it amount to, a dog
getting licked? A hundred years from
how nobodyll even know it. l dare
say there were good dogs that fit and
were whipped in the time of julius
Caesar and Martin Van Buren, and
those old roosters, but who cares
about it now? Time heals all these
little sorrows. If your dog had won you
would have died just the same when
your time came. Don't be so down about
it. Keep your courage up like a man"
Peter" said Maginn, that isn't it."
What is it, them"
"Why, the thing that annoys me is
that there Is a doctor in this town who
has saved IL people who tried to
poison themselves, and, although he