davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-08
1.-THE MORE YOU SAY THE LESS PEOPLE REMEMBER" ONE WORD WITH YOU
 SAPOl 10
FINANCIAL DOCTORS ARE
 SPENDING LOTS OF MONEY

from the Senate barber shop in Washing ton. No doubt this man will be taken abroad with the commission.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-08
An Outrage.

From Judge. He-Do you remember the night I pro posed to you?
 She-Yes, dear.
 He-We sat for one hour, and you never opened your mouth.
 She-Yes, I remember.
 He-Ah! that was the happiest hour of my life.
The Delta independent., 1908-05-01
The Worlds Best Climate.

Is not entirely free from disease, on
the high elevations fevers prevail while
on the lower levels malaria is encoun-
tered to greater or less extent, ac-
cording to altitude. To overcome
climate affections. iassitude, malaria.
jaundice, hilliousness, fever and ague.
and general debility. the most effec-
tive remedy is Electric Bitters, the
great Alternative and blood purifier; the
antidote for every form of bodily weak
ness, nervousness, and insomnia. Sold
under guarantee at All Druggists.
Price SOC.
The Delta independent., 1908-05-01
Hon. Warren A. Haggott Re-Nominated For
Congress Without Opposition.

He has the confidence of the people.
His learning is deep; his ability un-
questioned; his character above re-
proach and his experience in admins
trative affairs varied, comprehensive
and successful. AS the administrative
head CT our national government We
are confident that he will faithfully
carry out the principles of our party,
that he would preserve the confidence
of the people. protect the rights of all
classes, promote our industrial welfare,
and continue the peaceful and honor
able relations now existing between
our country and the other nations of
the earth.
We therefore do now instruct our
delegation to the Republican national
convention at Chicago to vote for the
nomination of William H. Taft as the
Republican candidate for president of
the United States.
Confident in the soundness of our
doctrines and in the ability and integ-
rity of our leaders, we appeal to the
people of the state for continuance
of their confidence and support
The Delta independent., 1908-05-01

Mrs. Podunk-'I dew think its out
rageous to send our fleets over to ia
pam"
MIR. Podunk-"Oh, shaw, mai its
jest on friendly visit. Way is it out
rageous?'
Mrs. Podunk WHY, them sailors
will be full on them japanese juiriki-
shas the hull time
"Her (sighing) -"Oh, [ met such
lovely, polite man to-dayr'
Him Where was thar"
Her -"On the parade. | must have
been carrying my umbrella carelessly,
for he bumped his eye into it. And l
said, Pardon me- and he said. Don't
mention it-I have another eye left. -
A health officer called upon an old
colored lady to vaccinate her.
Il can't spare neider of dem arms"
she said: IF don't keep up dis
laundry work dem cnilluns will freeze
and starve 1"
"Well, said the doctor, Il will vac
cinate you on one of your lover limbs. "
mo, indeedy; can't spare one of
dem laigs, either"
But must vacci-atc you some
where" replied the doctor: What
part can you spare?"
well" said the old colored LAZY
after much thinking: 81 never do get
no chanct to sit down, now how"
The Delta independent., 1908-05-01
Our Pickle Dish.
Seasoned With Stolen Spices.

In the way of optimism Judge ad.
vises: Look at the dough-nut, no,
the hole,"
The Delta independent., 1908-05-01

Jeweler-" Shall engrave the bride $
initials on the inside?''
Fiance-" Better say, For my best
beloved. "
The Delta independent., 1908-05-01

what does you reckon yer'll like ter
do wen you gifts ter g.ory?"
well" F" said Brother Dickey, "since
you put de question ter me, I'll make
answer ter it; Ef dey let's me have my
way, I'll des lay back on white cloud,
an let de heavenly winds blow me fun
star ter star"
The Delta independent., 1908-05-01

Maggie (calling up stairs) THE
gas-stove went out. num-
Mistress-"Well, light it,'
Maggie 1T went out through the
roof, num-
The Delta independent., 1908-05-01

III Smithers undertakes to pull my
ears, said fellow at street corner,
''he will have his hands full. :"
The crowd looked at the mans ears
and smiled.
The Delta independent., 1908-05-01

IF an empty barrel weighs ten
pounds. what can you fill it with to
make 1t weigh seven pounds?"
Have to give it up"
Fill it full of holes"
The Delta independent., 1908-05-01

beloved"
Maggie calling up stairs) THE
gas-stove went out, num-"
Mistress "Well, light it,''
Maggie 1T went out through the
roof, num-"
Ill Smithers undertakes to pull my
ears" said a fellow at street corner,
''he will have his hands full ~
The crowd looked at the mans ears
and smiled.
IF an empty barrel weighs ten
pounds. what can you fill it with to
make 1T weigh seven pounds?"
Have to give it up"
Fill it full of holes.'
This is an age of steel" said the
after dinner speaker.
Permit me to suggest" interrupted
the chairman courteously, THAT for
the benefit of the reporters present
you spell that last word
Mistress Sarah Jane, what has
happened?"
Sarah Jane-"Oh, mum, I've fallen
down the stair and broken my neck"
Mistress (irmly) -"Well, whatever
you've broken, it'll be deducted from
your wages"
Mr.. Justcott-''Why, what are you
crying about, dear?'
Mrs. Justcott-"O George. The mice
have got into the pantry and eaten up
beautiful custardpie made myself"
Mr.. Justcott-"T There, there! Don
cry over few little mice"
would you advise me to go into
politics?"
Young man," answered Senator
Sorghum, "the mere fact that you are
so modest as to ask advice about it
proves that you are unfit for the pro-
fession."
what does you reckon yer'll like ter
do wen you gifts ter g,ory?"
"Well." said Brother Dickey, "since
you put de question ter me, I'll make
answer ter it: Ell dey let's me have my
,.,,,, Isll L., l.,, a.. II. -. :.
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
HUNTING A NATE
TO BALANCE TAFT

So firmly convinced has the Presi-
dent become that Secretary of War
Taft viii he nominated at Chicago on
the first ballot that the "FederaIists"
are scanning the field for a suitable
running mate.
Governor Fort, OF New Jersey and
Governor Guild OF Massachusetts, are
under serious consideration, with the
chances in favor OF the latter as be-
tween these two prominent figures in
asmlch as the Bay State selection. Il
IS believ ID would onset the disad-
'-antages 20 the Taft movement arising
from the open opposition of Senator
Crane, Of that state.
Close friends OF the President laugh
t7gly declare that Roosevelt has for
two ears been indirectly working
to SECURE the Presidential nomina-
icn for his Secretary of War. They
say when certain o. the so-caIIed con-
seryatiyes in political life, and anti
Roos eveit Captains of industry" and
prominent railroad men sought to con-
vince the President upon certain ques-
tions, he would refer them TO the Sec
:etary CT War with the explanation:
Il am a radical, you know; you see
Taft; he Is more conservative, and /
place great weight in his opinion. Let
me know what he thinks about it."
Aad away the Presidents distin-
guished caller would go To return later
disappointed at results. but loud in his
praise of Taft.
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
Prayer for Names Victims
At Opening Of Congress

The tenth anniversary Of the blow
ing up OF the Maine il Havana harbor
was referred to in the prayer Chaplain
Couden delivered at the opening of the
House of Representatives yesterday.
We are reminded Of the brave men
who ten years ago today went down To
death on the battleship Maine" he be-
gan. Grant. o God. that their sscri-
fee may be an inspiration TO the living
that our country is not only worth
living for. bur. If need be. il is worth
dying for. that vigilance is not only the
price of liberty, but is the price OF
everything worth while. Help US. there
fore. to BE- patriots in times Of peace as
in times Of war"
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
Baltimore Firms
Join Employers
Building Combine

An interstate association Of building
trades employers was formed in tie
rooms Of the Employers Association.
1888 G street northwest, last night. when
the Builders Exchange OF Baltimore civ
met in joint convention with the En-
ployers' Association OF the building
trades Of the District Of Columbia.
Joseph Richardson. OF Washington.
was elected president OF the new asso-
citation; Theodore f. Krug. Baltimore
vice president: I. II. Skates, Baltimore
secretary; William Fl. Morrow. Rsltl-
more, treasurer. The board of governors
Is made up as follows: washington
Joseph Richardson, f. c. Graham.
president Of the local association: w.
T. Galliher, Walter D. Nolan, and G. A.
Langley. Baltimore-John X. How.
John Trainer, William II. Morrow.
Frank c. Boyd, and Theodore RIottu.
One Of the objects Of the association
is the continuance Of the present fight
against the labor organizations In the
District OF Columbia.
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
RICHMOND DISTRICT
INDORSES Mr.. TAFT
Committee Thinks He Will
Garry Out Roosevelt
Policies.

RICHMOND, Va. Feb. I5.-At a meet
ing OF the Third district Congressional
committee. held in this city today, the
following resolution was adopted by a
unanimous vote:
Resolved by the Congressional dis
trict committee OF the THIRD Congress
sional district Of Virginia. That while
We pay due Difference TO tho other emf
nent Republicans whose names have
been mentioned for the Presidency. We
believe that the policies OF Theodore
Roosevelt, so dear 20 the hearts OF the
American people, can best be subserved
by the election OF his illustrious friend
and colleague, William II. TAFT, to sue
coed him, and, 50 Tar as il il In our
power pledge 10 Secretary Taft the sup
port Of the Third district OF Virginia in
he Republican national convention
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
How Rio Went Wrong.

Washington, d. c., is the Capital
of the United States, a great nation
quick and generous in its patronage
of the arts. Rio de JaneirO is the
capital of Brazil, a nation Of the
second class which looks to America
for leadership TO a higher ciyiliza-
ton. Some American sailors have
just been making a visit to the lat
ter seat of government. One of
them has written a letter back
home about their stay. here IS an
extract;
What did the Americans fnd2 They
saw one Of the Cleanest and best paved
cities in the world. New YORK IN the
( Waring days never had cleaner stree u
But the great surprise OF all was me
magnificent Central avenue, built with
in the last four years right through me
heart of the city from north 10 sOutn,
lust as Napoleon built highways IN
! Paris connecting al the south win
great sweeping shore bOulevards. WneFe
the beautiful Monroe Palace stands.
This new avenue rivals anyt aing that
Paris can show. Il is about 10 feet
wide with sidewalks fifteen rect pToaG-
In the center are lofty lights on artistic
poles, each group set IN Httie ISL
pIants. The architecture along the ave
nue. is harmonious from one END 70 the
Then one saw the boulevard system.
Il is safe 10 say that no city IN the
world has anything like Il. that no ave-
nue. or highway is more beautliui ana
fm0osing. Illuminated with thouaahp1
of lights at night the elooJ .,ii ~ Ala
1arb0r is that OF a long crescent OF dld-
wonds flashing upon the forehead OF me
nav No one who has ever seen thia
| b{chva, Of miles with It's palauai oven
/ 49, fT,nting upon IL and set back
/ AGAINST the hills can ever forget u
OF course. Brazil has not yet
learned the right way to make its
caDital beautiful. If it had, 1t
would not be ipdulging in the ex-
travagance of boulevards and flow
ers. 1t would not be striking streets
through ground that had TO be
bought and paid for. Instead OF
that. instead of magnificent Cen
trial avenue" with lofty lights on
artistic poles" and architecture
harmonious from one end to the
other" Rio would have a reProduc-
ton of orr own Pennsylvania ave-
nue.. with its south side of pleasing
architectural variety and its lamps
of solid simplicity.
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
PRESIDENTS WORDS
SOUNDED BY BRYAN
Asks if Corporations Shall
Rule or Be
Ruled.

CHICAGO. Feb. 15.-WiiIiam Jennings
Bryan. in an interview defining the is.
sues OF the coming Presidential cam
paign. used the exact language of Pres
ident Roosevelt's next 20 the last mes
sage TO Congress.
Mr.. Bryan said:
The chief question is whether the
great corporations shall control the
Government, or the Government control
the Corporations"
WhHe he did not specifically charge
the Republicans with repudiating the
Presidents policy, he declared the Dem
ocrats stand for the RooseveItian prin-
ciples, and by intimation accused the
Republicans Of rejecting the platform
OF their leader
This question Of corporations enters
into the consideration OF all others and
dominates theni,'' he added 1.-THE big
corporations intrude in all matters per
tanning 10 labor, enter the interstate
commerce abuses by railroads, relate To
the tarin problem, and permeate every
channel Of governmental affairs.
The Democrats purpose the elimina-
ton of that balefuI influence and the
restoration OF the Government to a
healthful state. The latest returns from
all parts of the country indicate sue
cess. The Republicans are split with
discussions and personal factions, while
the Democrats are practically a unit
The slight friction in the East viii pass
away without any perceptible effect be
fore the time for voting arrives"
Bryan lectured tonight before the
Catholic Women's Society on the topic
THE Prince of Peace" He said that
politicians should accept Christ as their
model and try to raise their minds t.
the lofty plane Of the Reformer who
desired peace on earth and good will e
men"
Later he left for Indianapolis.
The Washington times., 1908-02-16

members ofthe foreign legations had been
stopped and warned that they were vio-
lating the law" He concludes his mis-
sive with the hope that Senator Rayner
viii get in communication with him re-
garding tine injustice that has been
heaped upon the people OF our county.
Maryland Has No Rights"
To Senator Whyte Mayor Garrett
says:
BY he opinion of the Hon. Attorney
General, Maryland has no rights, ana
the United States authorities have re-
Gently attempted TO patrol this SIXTEEN
miles OF roadway by means OF q single
individual mounted on a motorcycle.
''-ie plays the part assigned him in a
way that is just as peculiar as the ac-
tons Of the author OF the opinion ere
ating this new condition Of affairs. The
prevention OF crime is a novel PROPOSE
ton TO him"
The letter to A. ]. Cummings, Of the
Maryland State Legislature. is equally
sarcastic in its tone. IN this letter
Mayor Garrett remarks:
The Federal authorities. such as the
Attorney General OF the United States
and the Secretary Of State, have or
dained that the Conduit road is a race
course. furnish you with an officer
along the route to see that you are not
molested, and II you should be caught
while the guard Is stopping al one or
the m my speak-easles getting a drink,
will send the famous United States Dis
trict Attorney Rose TO defend YOU"
In asking for the position OF justice OF
the peace. Mayor Garrett explains that
he is not seeking additional honors. and
saws that his fight for the oppressed
community has lost him time. money
and friends His only aim, he says, IS
the curbIng Of the speed maniac, and
the administration OF justice.
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
BYRD IS DOOMED
FOR GOVERNORSHIP

RICHMOND. Va. Feb. B-Riohard
Evelyn Byrd, of Winchester. speaker
of the house, is today being promi-
nently mentioned as a candidate for
governor at the end OF the present ad-
ministrztion- The valley friends OF
Byrd are talking much about him and
the possibility Of his entering the race
The Prohibitionists and the Anti
Saloon element VIII be satisfied witt
him on account of his work in the
Legislature IN the interest OF temper
ance, and 1t is probable that he viii
poll a portion o. this vote.
The majority o. the Anu-Saloon peo-
pie are, however, aligned with Judge
William Hodges Mann. OF Nottawav,
having committed themselves TO him
when he first announced his cendidaev
Byrd will not discuss the situation al
this time
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
BALLOON FOR $4,000
LOWEST BID MADE

G. F. Myer. Of Hammondsport, n. Y,
submitted the lowest bid, $500, for fur
nishing q diriSible balloon for the army,
according TO @ revised list of bidders
given out by Brig. Gen. James Allen,
chief signal officer Of the army, yester-
day afternoon. Mr.. Myer promises de-
livery in 100 days, the shortest time.
The balloon. when completed, must
not be more than 30 feet long, and
must carry at least two persOns weigh
ing. approximately, 800 pounds 1t mus
have q speed of twenty miles an hour
in still air. The balloon IS 70 be de-
livered at Fort Myer. Va. Where tests
a to endurance, speed, and adaptabiity
win be made late in the summer.
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
THE WASHINGTON TIMES, SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 16, 1908

den rested week in the open country of thousands OF car
rides summer evenings for mothers and children whose need
great fitted with plumbing and open the
croWdng the old shack of employment found for 1854 PERSONS of
provided for 657 sick persons; of xhee persons sent to
aid in other communities OF 534 persons given correctional
legal help
But the most impressive thing Of all is this: That of those who
would still be seeking aims there uplifting charity like this
$500 have become of their money and have deposited the
banks through the Associated Charities st6,468.
VIII anyone doubt that this is effective work?
One point Our correspondent omitS charge that IS fire.
quenty urged against this work is that practically the whole
contributed the Associated Charities goes for expenses Yet that is
true How then be explained? BY noting first that the money
contributed directly to the Associated Charities intended solely to meet
the cost of the work outlined and second that the of this work
Washington $4,000 year against $4,000 spent Baltimore to
follow lesser number Of cases.
But there need be worry this Whoever likes give
that the purchasing power of his money goes for ppeo
the Central Relief Association which in its turn avaiS itself of the eff
Gent organization Associated Charities In this way S8o7
distributed last year without using dollar of the expenses of
The organization which make that gifts intended for the
suffering do no 60 TO ShaIns
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
Garrett Would Be Justice;
Scores BOnabayte and Root
For Conduit Road action

In a series Of letters 20 the two United
States Senator'S from Maryland and the
Montgomery county delegation to the
Maryland legislature. John A. Garrett.
mayor CT Glen Echo, asks them to use
their influence to have him appointed a
justice Of the peace. that he may adj
minister fitting punishment TO the auto
lists who persist In violating the speed
regulations in his vicinity, especially on
the Conduit road.
The letters are filled with the most
caustic criticism Of the methods now in
vogue TO prevent violations Of the speed
laws. In his communication TO State
Senator Blair Lee. Mayor Garrett de-
clafes thar numerous accidents and
serious injuries have been the relies Of
this now ordained race course, ap-
proved, supported. cherished, fOndied,
ana goaded on by Federal interference
and supervision.
Conduit Road Like Race Course.
In the same letter Mayor Garrett de-
| clared that the man Jackson, who was
placed on the road by the War De-
partment 10 maintain order, has never
attempted to prevent speeding along
the thoroughfare. "A person would
imagine it was a race track the mayor
writes.
The writer declares in his otter 10
Preston b. Ray. another member Of the
Maryland Legislature that the opinion
Of Attorney General Bonaparte 10 secre-
taries Root and Taft is laUghable be-
cause OF its absurdity. He AYERS that
the opinion is entirely devoid OF any
/ sense Of reasoning. and assures Mr.. Ray
that in reading it he would have mag
med that it was written by a plumber.
Mayor Garrett says in his letter 10
United States Senator Rayner that the
Secretary OF State appealed tie case 10
the Attorney General for an opinion be-
cause "a few ambassadors and other
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
NEEDS $4,000 A YEAR
TO LIVE, SAYS THOMAS

NEW YORK. Feb. BE. r. Thomas.
turfman and banker. has intimated to
his creditors that he is willing to turn
over to them ali bit $4,000 of the
$4,000 annual income left in trust 10
him by his father. the late Gen. Sam
Thomas, He estimates thar he and his
wife need $4,000 a year to live in New
YORK..
As his debts are uaoffcially estimated
at s., 100000. il will take come time to
ray them from the balance of the $50
900. The creditors VIII meet some time
next week TO think the proposition over.
A few of them are said to think that
S15.G5 a year would keep z husband
and wife. even here, II they live fru-
sally.
The Washington times., 1908-02-16

Hetty Green must feel better now
with all that Oft her mind.
Poston leads again. One Z its law
vers has obtained an injunction 10 pre-
vent womaa's talking to him. The
only question now is, viii such an in
junction lie against mans wife?
Annarently those Hartman questions
ccri5 ne boiIed down to; Where, when
and how did you get it?"
IF Congress wants its economy talk
accepted at face value, let It cut down
its mileage ra-es
Next to being a pretty girl the best
thing is being CeXt 10 one.
When is a woman too old to marry?
asks a curious exchange. We can't
find out in Washington because no
woman here mas reached that age yet.
New Jerseys ex-governor, accused OF
neriurv. saws his conscience Is easy
We are glad it is. still there are so
many queer consciences nowadays.
Wine, ilIOF, dfG oSSA 49,
YORK are going TO give bali. Ihey
must be d hard-hearted lot, when they
know their friends down South cant
oct a ball for love or money.
Won can't tell man by the songs he
sings Many who have favored Just
one Girl,' know what it is to be de-
PENDANT In bigamy case.
inst a we arc beginning to get
.t,-o,,eb ne tight money squeeze here
como the 1vomen's spring hats. Truly,
man is m de to mourn.
Inst because ne told one OF his
teachers she needed a bath, she sued
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
TOWN CLERK BOUND OVER
FOR EMBEZZLlNG FUNDS

NEWTOWN. Conn, Feb. 15.-Town
Clerk NJ. ]. Houlihan. who was arrest
ed week ago charged with embezzle-
ment of town funds. was arraigned be-
fore Justice Plat here this afternoon.
He waived examination aad was bound
over to the superior court in bonds of
$1,000. He was not represented by cOun-
sci. and there was no evidence offered
by either side.
Bonds were furnished by his brother.
NJ. 3. Houlihan. Of SandyhoOk. and )
Daniel Mcnamara, Of Danbary.
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
LAW DEBATING SOCIETY
HOLDS ANNUAL ELECTION

At q meeting Of the National Law
school Debating Society last Saturday
evening the following officers we've
elected: President, J. II. G. Giadtelder
1-ice nrssider :, T. N. Baker: recording
secretary. D. II. Hemming; correspond
ing secretary. ]. d. c. Thomas; treas
ursr, j. d. Faber; critic, J. T. Frazier
sereeant-at-arms, T. l. Peekham, ex-
ecufive committee, p. II. Hurley, J. II
Anderson, T W. Bramhuti. and II. f
Smith.
The Washington times., 1908-02-16

him for damages and has been awarded
5000. Il never pays TO tell a woman
what she needs.
SAY. Mr.. Smith. can't we have even
heroic line TO Union Station?
Day and Black would make great end
men II Mr.. Fora ar ever decides TO
put on the Brownsville Ministries.
1t looks as II some people thought
the only way to elevate Hughes was 10
blew up Roosevelt.
still nobody has proved that Hobson
isn't right about il.
Judging from the intense excitement
aroused, we viii badly need those extra
police when the elections are held In
the District to name delegates TO the
national conventions.
There is one good thing about the
gas BILL II is a monthly lesson in
punotuality.
Maybe TAFT went out 70 Grand Rapids
looking for the Grand Rush.
bachelors talk about their ideal
woman a whole lot, but they always
let some other fellow marry her.
Jen Davis denies that he's responsible
for the fog. He hasn't spoken for a
week.
The Washington times., 1908-02-16
SURGEON GUTHRIE IN CITY.

Surgeon H. Guthrie. United States
navy. retired, of Portsmouth. Va. Is in
Washington as the guest Of Congress
man Maynard Of Virginia.