Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-11
SCOTS ARE HUMOROUS
Have Many Expressive Words
in Their Language.
THEIR LACONIC REPARTEE
Claim to Have Been Represented at
the Crucifxion.
PLATE HAD SCOTCH GUARDS
Decadence of Once Literary Edin-
burgh-Just Like Americans in
Criticism Of Carnegie.
PLATE HAD SCOTCH GUARDS
RY WILLIAM T. CURTIS.
Special Correspondence Of The Star and the
Chicago RecOrd-Herald.

RI WILLIAM T. CURTIS.
Special Correspondence Of The Star and the
Chicago RecOrd-Herald-
EDINBURGH, October s, 1908.
One can never have fair conception
of either Scottish VANITY or Scottish
humor without coming over here to see
them in their native lair. We. in other
parts of the world. have general i'm
preston that the Scotchman is SOBER
sides without any fun in him, given 10
philosophy and moral maxirns. and it Is
prevailing impression that surgical
operation is required to enable him TO
see the point Of joke. Indeed. various
anecdotes are current on this point. Dean
! Ramsey has illustrated his "Reminls-
cences of Scottish Life and Character"
by stories SO racy and apt that 1t has
taken high rank as a classical jest DOCK.
One of his stories is much to the point
He says that Lord Erskine in the course
of an argument before the high court
made some witty allusion which was
instantly appreciated by all of the bench
except Lord POlkemmett. who preserved
a severe and rebuking silence. The next
day, while the same great advocate was
addressing the same tribunal in an en-
tirely different case. Justice Polkemmett
was suddenly SelZeQ With n Ill Ol uICoIt-
trollable laughter, so that Lord Ersk1ne
was compelled to suspend his argument.
When his lordship finally recovered con-
troll of himself he held his sides and
shouted:
on, mon, mon; haze we moo. 1 hae
ye moo
Specimens of Scotch Wit.
The Scotch are given to pointed COM
ment. The very air is full of anecdote.
while the ordinary conversation among
men abounds in good sayings because
everybody has his own collection. But
it is said genuine Scotch story cannot
always be comprehended by stranger
because Of the play on the words. and
the frequent inability of a Scotchman to
catch the point Of a joke expressed in
ordinary English, to which he is not
accustomed. may account for the sus-
picion that he lacks humor.
''Order. order.'' shouted Satan angrily
to his subjects in the lower regions one
day. whats the matter with that man
over there? Make him understand that
we do not allow laughter in this place"
Its only a Scotchman who has just
seen the point of a joke he once heard on
earth" explained the sergeant-at-ar arms
of Tophet.
among the Scotch themselves, for they
love to make fun of one another
A visitor at an insane asylum asked if
the clock was right.
IF 1t war. dae you thunk it wad be
here? retorted patient.
A minister reproached his congrega-
ton for falling asleep and emphasized
his rebuke by calling attention to the
fact that Jimmy. the natural always
remained awake throughout the sermon.
AN / had ma been an idiot. 1 wud hae
been asleep tae,'' was Jimmy's unex-
pected comment.
An enterprising commercial traveller at
tempted to bride a country merchant in
Scotland with a box of cigars
Ma. ma" said the merchant. shaking
his head graveIy Il Gamma TAX EN-; I
naer dae business thaway."
Nonsense" said the drummer. but
you may pay me a shilling for the box
'Weel. weel.' said the honest shop
keeper. III take two boxes"
Expressive Words in Scotch Lam
guage.
The Scottish language is full of express
sive words intense in their significance;
in satire, humor, contempt. affection, en-
phasis and above all for condensation Of
meaning. The Rev. Dr. MacGregor, who
uses as forceful language as any Scot,
deplores the disuse of the native tongue.
but is helping to preserve some of its
best phrases by constant usage In public.
He declares more meaning is condensed
into certain old-fashioned Scottish terms
than could be expressed in a page of
ordinary English. For illustration he
uses the word "skunner''-a term of con-
tempt derived from the same root as the
word "scorn." and it is loaded with
meaning But the old-fashioned words
are dying out It's not the fashion to
use them.
Did you understand him." asked one
1mother-in Israel to another, when they
were exchanging congratulations about
the latest discourse of their favorite min
lister.
understand him." exclaimed the other
aghast. Il would not presume to under
stand him.
Laconic Lunges at the Dominic.
AS might be expected in country
where religion makes such a large part
of the life of the people. much current
witticism is at the expense of the pulpit.
IF YOU feel inclined to sleep in church,
take a pinch of snuff" said the minister
to a member of his congregation.
'Wad it no be better to put the snuff
into the Sermon
A minister once suggested that stove
be placed In the church because so many
OF his congregation excused themselves
for remaining away from service because
it was so cold.