Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-22
STAGE WIT AND HUMOR

NHBY are telling story of John
Drew, the locale OF which is little
n inn in the Italian Alps, visited by
Mr.. Drew and his party last summer.
The inn is conducted by father and
his son.
Addressing the son in "his best Ital-
ian," Mr.. Drew ordered lunch for the
party and especially some fresh milk
for Miss Drew. When it came, how
ever, Miss Drew discovered the milk to
be quite warm. The waiter was re-
called and requested, once more IN
Mr.. Drews best Italian" to serve some
| ice.
The amazement of the party is better
imagined than described when the
waiter replied in emphatic American
English:
why, boss, you might as we'll ask
for a gold mine in this country as a
chunk of ice"
Father and son, it turned out, had
lived for years in New Orleans; had
made their fortune there and returned
tc italy to buy out the little inn that
had always been the object of their
greatest envy.
The man interested Mr.. Drew, who
invited him to look him up if ever he
came to New York.
| AND your 1dIle odid IA1O iAiiihNSNPS@'
"Why, John Drew" was the answer.
"Oh, yes; l know you" the fellow
said. And Mr. Drew waited to hear his
name connected with one of his more
famous characterizations.
"Yes, l remember your name, con-
t;nued the innkeeper, in all seriousness.
'You run cigar factory over there'
don't you?''
And visions OF his bette noir, the signs
John Drew Five Cent Cigar" fio9ted
before the eyes of the star OF my
Wife"
Miss Annie Hart, the we'll known
coincidence tells an amusing story on
herself She is an old friend and neigh
hor. of Father Bill Daily, the famous
turfman, and is such an admlrer OF the
thoroughbred that she spends mucn Oh
her time during her summer vacation
studving the many details necessary u
prepare the speeders FOR tnelr lurl
events. On one occasion she happened
TO be at the Daily stable Whlle Fathei /
Elu was ateaminr a bowed tendon of
enc of his horses. He had the llmp OIL
the animal immersed in the hot water,
and Miss Hart ventured to say that
the moor horses bath was too not.
ss,,re" said Father Bill; don't you
know a horse can stand water twice ds
hot az man? Now, look here, L can
stand it." and, suiting the action OIL the
word, he pulled off his shoe and put ms
foot in the bucket of hot water anu
erinned. Some few days later sne men eil
t:cned the incident to Father Bits wlle'
v,ho said: "Sure, Annie, and don't you
know Father Bill has wooden legY
1rar;or rI;ll's short stories of the
s+ooa now running in the American
Maeazine. are full of fun. Recently
Miss Hill told of a young actress VINO
was constantly irritated by the POM
nous behavior of the actor-manager IN
whose company she was playing
sNow, Miss Duke" said the great
one, you'll have an opportunity ~
show your talents in another direction;:
i've cast you for a dainty part smaii
hut Fat And you'll have chance TO
st,,dv me in a new role. You've never
seen me do farce-comedy, have your
"Yes. I have" contradicted Miss
Duke, "I've seen your Macbeth
o,aruso. before he realized the capa-
hilities OF his voice, used to play the
aute one day, when he was practis-
ing man called upon him to try and
sell a monograph on the 1nstaliment
svstenn. "See," said the man, 'you can
make your own records. l VIII snow
you" and he put on plank cylInoeI; y;
Caruso played a flute solo. He played
his very best into the machine. Then
the man put in the cylinder an and tn the 2
nusic began to issue forth: us that
r,,es, cried the flute player in alarm.
"Yes. sir Really me? Just as
nlayed?" precisely, sir Now 1 am
sure YOU want to buy the phonograph:"
..No. mol" cried Caruso. Il want TO
sell the flute." That is how he gave up
flute playing and took to singing.
From Boston Lew Dockstader sends
a dramatic criticism which might
we'll serve as a model for the reviewers
Of MANY of this seasons productions.
The criticism is culled from the Bangor
News, and in its entirety reads as fol-
lows:
Uncle Josh Perkins was performed
twice in the Bangor opera house. IL
was no worse than expected"
When Junie McCree was confined to
a hospital a friend visited him. IN
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