Sharp County record., 1908-07-10
a SUPP0SlTlChAL
CASE
Mr.. Buddy Seeks Advice on a
Point of Law.

. visit recently from a man named
buddy. Mr.. Buddy entered the Office
lpon crutches, and his face was COW
red with contusions, so that he looked
IS If he had emerged from terrific
conflict with an antagonist who had
von a complete victory. Placing his
rutches against the 'able and seating
himself very carefully in the chair,
Mr.. Buddy said:
"Mr. Simms, JUS dropped in to see
,ou to git little advice on point or
aw In which I'm interested, and I'd
,e much obleeged if you'd tell me ex-
lctly what my rights in the matter
ire. I'll put it in this way: Spose'n
7ou were to marry a widder, under the
dea that she was an angel-that she
vas SO sweet that barrel of sugar
vas mere bitterness alongside Of her;
ind s'pose'n after you were consoli-
lated with her you were to find out
hat she had a temper like she Wild
,at, and all unconquerable custom OF
banging you over the head with skill
cts or most anything that came
handy, SO that you didn't know what
minute she'd git her mad up and skeer
1ou pretty near to death.
Nov, s'pose'n this widder and you
vas to disagree about little matter
If chewing terbacker In the house and
,rying to spit in the stove, and she
vas to up and tell you--in your own
house, mind you-that If you KEEP aim
ng at that stove and missing it she'd
warm you up with a broom handle or
he like; and you were to say that
you'd chew where you'd mind to, and
hat while it was free country you'd
nit the stove or miss 1t, jus as you
pleased.
"And s'pose'n one word brought on
another, until she got on terrific
rampage and come at you and tried to
snatch out your hair; while you
grabbed her by the wrists and held
aer 80 she couldn't. And then s'posen
while you were rassling With her you
was to get the best Of 1t SOS sho
couldn't do anything but have the hys'
.erics and scream and you all the time
afraid to let 60 lest she'd hustle you
out through the wlnder.
Nov, spose'n that widder had a
dog which belonged to her first hus.
band, and would rather bite you than
not, and all Of sudden she was to
boiler for that dog, and he was to
come bouncing into the room, and, SEQ
Ing the widders situation, was to take
hold of a mouthful Of your right leg
and shake 1t as though he was going
to bite 1t loose before he left; and the
widder all the time sickfng him on
and encouraging him to help himself
without any regard for your feelings
And s'pose'n when you let go OF hei
to tackle the dog she should bang yor
with the scrubbngb,ush until yor
looked's II you'd been ground up In
bark.mill. and then wouldn't call of
the dog until you holered enough.
"S'pose'n all this, what want Il
know Is, can't you sue that widder fol
assault and battery, and get an injunc
ton on that dog? That's what | came
to see you about, whether you've 60
to stand having your leg chewed ant
your head smashed with scrubblng
brush, or whether this great and fret
governments going to protect It's dc
fenseless citizens, want to know how
II is."
Mr.. Simms looked very solemn for
moment, as II contemplating the prob
lem carefully, and then no said;
81 don't really SEQ that tho law cal
do anything In such q case, Mr. Bud
dy. n tho man married the widow HI
became part owner OF the dog, and |
was, therefore, IN fact his own dol
that assaulted him. Besides that, a
man and his wife are one flesh, tn
widow has q partnership interest II
the mans leg, and when she set tn
dog upon Il she was really encourap
Ing the animal 70 mutilate her owl
property. No action can lie against
person who induces her own dog t
bite her own leg, nor will the law Civ
her redress Il she batters her owl
head with her own hands for the wifi
who strikes her husband really strike
herself
"you don't mean to say" exolaime'
Mr., Buddy, IN a blaze Of indignation
that that 10 the law Of this land, o
this very country where our forefa
theirs bled for liberty You don't actu
ally mean to toll mo that rodheado
wIddor, with a llvorcolored dog, ca
actually make that dog gnow u man
leg into sausage meat while Al
trounees him with n club, and tha
he cant chuck her into jail for II
that he's got TO stand up and take itY
"I'm afraid he has" said simms, wit
q sad smile,
"Well, them" said Buddy, rising an
seizing his erutches, THAT just lot
ma ont ma far IA thia idiotlc land