The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-12-12
DRIFTWooD


 We are extremely dee-Iighted tooh- serve ser that the United States is getting that water way"
 nee:svsl. SS's Sss.Ss Sss s.P f .SS.EBssy 1SEBssst :, Cromwell has his dander up and saA that the money for the ditch was pail feasible; Morgan's t Eot the money % to buy the earth If he wanted to.
 Now that Abe Russ has bsen found guilty he win don e fashionable suit of stripes and his "Ruef'' will be shinsled' his hair cut in other wordA
 Women are interested in the conser- yation of the forests only to the extent that there will be enough Christmas trees saved for their kids this year.
 Being asked if he came in the capa- city Of 2 private citizen and replying n the aflrmatbve. Castro, the venesu-, France. If he starts anything, however. those French Eawbones will certainly cut his acquaintance.
 Pennsylvania professor has dis- covered a method whereby instead of mourning the expense of travelling to 2 foreign country. all man has to will suspend him from the earth in such fashion that in twelve hours by the earth's revolving the city on the to him. Then all he has to do is de- scend and he is there. The professor takes himself seriously In this pro- general use what an excellent opportu. nity will present itself for a man to dodge creditor.
 }'If at first you don't succeed. try try again." may be pretty good advice but when you are trying to raise car window you would be wise to call the porter.
 History may repeat itself but an old maid never repeats her age. NSsr al ask n the SrssSy Say ySV eyed say gg thaS Wo plays the violin if she plays the fd- ale. You could hardly offer greater insult to her esthetic temperament
 His dad who made the fortune
 Burned the midnight kerosene
 Now Willie Gouldvanastorbilt
 Burns midnight gasoline.
 .oficer Devil: There's man outside. sir with a live skunk to pay on his
 County Editor: rake 1t by all msans-this paper has never yet turn. cd down a scent on subscription.
 Rs1Fy wEs: FHs DO ss Essg sssS Ss s:fs' s s love2
 ., Charley Dust; No; mostly he writes When the cylinder of the printing press was discovered the inventor ma. turally. knew that it would "revolu- tionize" printing.
 That lively and spicy graveyard journal the Congressional Record will once more make its daily visit to our
 Money Is coming out of, hiding" says The Wilkesbarre NewS. It has where everybody you meet Is jingiinE the Christmas dimes.
 That poor folks @ turn their noses up Rieh folks pass in auto cars
 Propelled by gasoline.
 Now is the time of year when evsrv kid In the land wishes he had a pair Of Bill Fafts stockings to hang up. The Joyful Time ! The joyful time is somin' jes a hunt min down the way,
 Everybody's satisfied an everybody's An our arms are full Q bundles as ws pass the time O. day,
 For Christmas Is a comin'. jes a We're singin' haIelujah at the turkey an the pies
 The holly an the mistletoe an sweet hearts maxim eyes l We're hustlin' an a buStlln' for the time 1t fairly flies, For Christmas Is a comin' jss q comin'.
 The gals is deeoratin' parlor. dinins 1 room an hall | An their young hearts dance with Joy thinkin' uw the Christmas bali. Come an spend the day an bring your family an' all comIr'.
 P. H. A.