davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
Not Natural for Him.

Washington Star Thonasa w Law
son. i'ostnns noted tinanrier was
talking 10 a reporter about \ notorious
New York capitalist
Well said Mr.. Lawson y tive
heard that man tell the tmith once o,
twice. He can tell the truth. l admit
bu, il doean'i come natur;l To him.
He reminrS me Of the Russian mujilS4
~ Russian muiik sat one day in thu
;intcroom of the military commissioner
of his town There Vas an anxious
irowm on his face. y friend apptoached
and said
What is the ln;,tier piotr.
II am worried i'io'i ans Neted
about my son don't knox Whit Il,
say When the commissioner asks m,
about his age. You see. II ms3ic hin
our Younger than he is he will be s.,n
back To school, and If ! make him Out
older, they'll stick him in the ARMY
What the deuce am ] 10 do"
How would ii do. said the ftienc
ihoughtflIly. If you told the commits
sioner his exact age
Piotr slapped his leg ana laughed
deightedls
Tho Very thing. h. eslsa. J nevei
Thought Of that
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
FURIOUS HuMoR ON CHILD.
Itching, bleeding Sores Covered
H"d,-S"ti,inE Helped Hcr-Cuu-
cura lures Her In Five Dny.

Itching, bleeding Sores Covered
Hohy--Suti,ing Helped Hcr-Cuu-
cura Cures Her In Five Dnys.
After my granddaughter of about
seven years had been cured of Che
measles. she was attacked about fort
night later by a furious Itching ana
painful eruption all over her body. es-
pecialy the upper part Of it, forming
watery and bleeding sores especially
under the arms, OF considerable size.
She suffered Il great deal and for three
weeks we nurse1 her every night. MS
Ing all the remedies we could think of
Nothing wonh help. We tried the
Cuticira Remedies and after twenty
four hours we noted considerable I'm
proyenent. and after using only one
complete set OF the Cutirllra Remedies,
IN five consecutive days the lft,e one.
much to our JOY bad been entirely
cured. and has been well for Il long
time Mrs. r. Ruefenacht r. l.. u No.
:" Bakersfield. Cal. June % and July
20, 1906
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

made millionaire who had endowed the
school had been invited to make the
opening speech at the commencement
exercises. He had moi often had a
chance of speaking before the puDltc
and he was resolved to make the most
of it. He dragged his address out most
tiresomely. repeating the same thought
longer couple of boys in the rear of
the room slipped out. A coachman
who was waiting outside asked them
IF the millionaire had finished his
speech.
Gee. yes" replied the boys. but he
won't stop"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
-Four water color picture, Free.

To introduce 20 Mnle Team" Boraxo
Bath Powder to the greatest number
in the shortest time. that all may be-
come acquainted with it's qualities AS
n toilet bath and nursery necessity. tue
Pacific Coast Borax Co has secured
the exclusive control of series of four
beautiful water color pastels. size l4i.
XII inches. printed in ten colors of the
softest and most beautiful OF flesh and
flower tints SO artistic are these pic
lures that il they were obtainable i'll
the shops. they would readily sell at
500 each The Pacific Coast Borax
Co offer them free. For full informn-
tion how you can obtain them free. adj
dress a post card to Pacific Coast Be-
rax Co. New York City
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

party of American tourists in n
hotel in Germany discovered a new CON
tribution TO English as she is spoke,
The building had been recently wired
Tor electricity and under the bulbs in
each room directions We're posted in
f'rench, German and English. The Ger
man was irreproacilabl BILE. the French
neafly so. The English read as follows
10 open and shut the tightening cleo
'rical one is requested to turn the right
hand ON going To bed it must be
closed Otherwise the tightening must
-. paid -
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02


could not st@p with
out a sharp pain. 1T
was just rs bad when
! tried to get up from
a chair. ! was Ian
guild and lis,less and
had much pain and
trouble with the kid
ney sccretions. This
was my state when l
l attn ~
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
Plerpon, Morgan belongs Is

J Perront Morsan pelenes q So
clubs. and his membership dues figure
oyer soon annually August Belmont
is nnmbe. Of "a clubs. md fihatiiurrs.
NJ Depew belongs Ia 81 l'Nry Eel
naomi has memberships IN y clubs
George Could IN u Jnllis Jaeob Astor
in u. and Willie X. N,nderbii. il in
rs Many nien belong 10 aDH"}i or
morn
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

Kidney Fills. They helped me from The
first and four boxes made Il complete,
lasting cure
Sold by all dealers. 30 cents a box
Foster Milburn Co, Buffalo, y. Y.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

Martin w. I.Ittleto,l. the leading
counsel in the 'rhaw case Is we'll known
in New York for his sharp and acid
viii. At a recent dinner Mr. Little
ton, in a sparkling speech said of a
certain 1urist: Its a pity he doesn't
know little law. as then he'd have a
uBnattering of everything"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

Consul Thomas III. Norton, OF chem
nitz. reports that by the Slaby-Acro
System Of wireless telesraphy over 900
words we're recently telegraphed from
the trial station of the company at
Nauen. near Berlin, TO the Austrian
military station for wireless biography
at korneuberg, near Vienna a distance
of about 372 miles. He adds that this
is the record result thus far In the use
Of the system for overland transmits
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
SIG AN ACRE WAS REAlIzED
on Crop in we.ter.. Gana.in isast
icnr---tnoti,rr Farmer Realizes
$50 per Aces from is!s " heat

On IA Grop in Wcster.. Eann.in Last
icnr---Anothrr Farmer Reniia.s
$50 per Aces irom AIS " heat
trop.
Charles Mccormick. OF Kcaville.
Manitoba, writes
During the season Of 1905 I had
100 acres IN crop on the 5. W quarter
of section u.s. township 81, image y,
west of the Principal Meridian. West
ern Canada, yielded MS follows
Eighty acres al 20 bushels per acre.
which | sold for 80 cents per bushe
and 20 acres oats yielding 50 business
per acre I Sold for :3, cents per bushn,
so that my total crop realized S9Doi.
From this deducted for expenses Of
threshing hired help, etc. SlnD leaving
me net profit on this years crop of
over $ 600
Thomas sawatzky OF Herbert, sas-
katchewan. says
The value Of my crop per acre. Of
wllent is $3.50 / threslled 30 bush
els OF wheat from 10 acres. aud was
offered go cents bushei for ii oats,
10 acres. 800 bushels. aud hurley. )
acres 50 bushels. do not know IL |
have been doing the best in this dis.
trict, but know if all the farmers
were doing as well. Western Canada
would have no kick coming as far rs
grain growing is concerned and fur
Their say that II you want TO put this
IN one OF your advertisements, This is
true and can put my name 10 ii"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
a Treacherous Menorv

The Bohemian. Little 5-year-ald fIar-
ODDS mother was Of the new school and
thought that baby days We're for play
and not the coming Of eatechisins One
day when Harold came to her With the
question. Who made me-? she an
swered God. and as the child WAS
apparently satisfied without amy ex
PLANTATION as 70 who God wAs. thu con-
versaton dropped there
Shortly after a reverend distinctly of
the old school, called on the family. and
after the manner of his Kind began 10
question the son and heir AS to the do
lgs Of Adam and Eve, Solomon and
sundry Of his sort, and Was satly
shocked To find that he knew far more
about Mother Goose than sacred his
tory.
Al each unanswerable question the
childs self-respect sank to lower depths
ana he was on the verge of tears be-
cause of this revelation of his abysinal
Ignorance when, IN extremity, the rev
erend gentleman exclaimed NJ least
my poor child. you can tell me who
made YOU"
Yes, | can. the youngs,er bl,lrted
out, Frightening visibly, or or any
how. mamma did tell me the narne OF
he man. but but I've forgotten it,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

King Anderaya. OF E;uuyoro. in Cen
6rai Africa. himself . Christian. has
written to one of the missionary soci-
cites of the baptisla of his father lNa-
!narego, who was notorious I'm Gordon
pashas day as the slave raiding king
OF Runyoro.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

The sum of $15o.oOo was left to
Henry Baxendale in England by his
father if he would return to the Ply
mouth brethren. but as he had allied
simple life. he refused to accept the
bequeSt.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.

For thirty years Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousands of
women who have been troubled with
disbursements, Inflammation, ulcera-
tion, fbroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bear
ing-down feeling, tlatulency, indiges-
ton, dizziness, ornervous prostration.
Why don't you try it
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick
women to write her for advice.
She has guided thousands to
health. Address, Lynn, Mass.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

There is need for Garfield lea when
the skin is sallow, the tongue coated, aud
when headaches are frequent.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

FITS r.,%:nss;;; .:s 4. s s; s.. s
Nerve Restorer Send for Free As trial bn,ls Treatise
GDR. L. H. KLINE, ID. 9al Arch Philadelphia Ia
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

Many Chinese monasteries are en-
lowed with land on a tribute of rice.
but seldom so us TO be self support :
ing, and the monks. armed with gongs.
go down into the cities to beg for sus-
tenance and most of them have be-
come very capable beggars
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

Choice half section sock or grain farm
near Mortified at a bargain 10 close an
estate. 80 miles from Twin Cities. St. $50
worth of improvements Jnsse Howland
Northtield Minn
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
Mean Of Her.

Mrs. Bronson You would find II more
economical 10 do your own cooking
Mrs Woodson low so2
Mrs Bronson Your husband wouldn't
eat so much
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

The cost of hauling coal for It's own
locomotives is estimated at mills per
ton mile on the ST. Louis & San Fran
cisco railroad. and the labor for handl-
ing II at 8 cents a ton
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
LANGuID AND WEAK.

A Condition Common with kidn.y
Troubl. and Bnclsache.
Mrs Marie Siphe. 4l6 Miller st.
Helena. Mont says ".l'hree years ago
my LNek grew wenk and lame and [
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
Deafness Cannot be Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach
the diseased portion of the ear There IL
only one way to cure deafness, and that is
by constitutional remedies Deafness Is
caused by an nflamed condition OF the mu-
cous lining OF the Eustachian Tube. When
this tube is inf,amed you have rumblng
sound or imperfect hearing, and when II Ia
entirely closed, Deafness Is the result. and
unless the inflammation can be taken out
and this tube restored to its normal cond-
ton. bearing will be destroyed forever nine
cases out of ten are caused by Catarrh.
which is nothing but an niamed condition
of the mucous surfaces
We will gi-e One Hundred Dollars for any
case of Deafness tcaused by Catarrhl that
cannot be cured by Halls catarrh Cure.
Send for circulars. free
+. j. CHENEY & Co. Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists. zoe
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
The "GasY Was Prepaid

WIS. Winslows SOOTHING SYRUP TOR Ch1idrea
seething; sottens the gums, reduces lntammatlon a.
ays pain. cures wind colt. NJ cent u bottle
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

II has been only eight year, siiceti1is
country passed Great Britain il. the
matter of coal productions NoW the
English mines are handy ~ bs regard
ed as competitors
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

+. l.. Marston who is known IN Eng
and as the Statfordshire Spurgeon.
md is onls 10 years OF age. is one IT
he most successful Baptist evangel
SITS of that county, this being his
,ighth year OF Christian work Iu be-
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02
FOUR GIRLS
Restored to Health by Lydia e.
Ptnkham's Vegetable Compound.
Rsad IDhae 1hsy Say.
lssd IDhat They Say

MissLillianRo Ross. $50
East 84th Street, New
York, writes: " Lydia
e. Pinkham's Vegeta-
bic Compound over
cameirregularities, Pc
riodic suffering, and
nervous headaches,
after everything else
had failed to help me,
and l feel it a duty to
let others know of it,
KatharineC Craig 1855
Lafayette ST., Denver,
Col. writes: "J'hanks
to Lydia T.. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound l
am we'll, aftersuffering
Tor months from ner-
vous prostratiop."
Miss Marie Stoltz-
man. OF Laurel, Ia,
writes: "Iwasina rum
downconditionandsuf-
feredfromsuppression,
indigestion, and poor
circulation. Lydia F..
Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound made me
we'll and strong"
Miss Ellen NJ. Olson,
of Az N. East ST., Ke-
vance, III. says: " Ly-
dia E. Pinkham'sV ege-
table Compound cured
me of backache. side
ache. and established
my periods. after the
best local doctors had
failed to help me-"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

Tic British government Will devo.e
100000 To start the cultivation of New
Ip:tland hemp in the island of 81 Hell
ena. the inhabitants of which have
been reduced TO practical destitltion
by the Withdrawal of the British gar
rison.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

Ths mines Of the world employ s..
100000 persons
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

There is crisis in the diamond trade
Amsterdan which since the 18th eeu-
tliry has been the center OF the indus
trN of diamond cutting aud has beeit
employing $500 workmen-- cleavers
cutters. polishers and setters-has late
iy discharged 500 of these artisans The
american panic cut off the demand
from the United States, and 80, 900
tourists who visit Holland each year
failed TO CORY away amy diamond sou
NeMlIS.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-04-02

Sold by Druggists. zoe
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-09-02
IN THE KITCHEN.

Sunshine Cake.-FOr sunshine cake
sift the flour and sugar the same a
for angel cake. only .leSSening the -four
to three-fourths of a cup. Add rinch
of salt to the whites Of sever egg
and beat until stiff and dry Beat the
yolks of FIVE eggs until lemon colored
and thick. add the sugar and flour to
the yolks. stir in lightly the white Of
the eggs and half a teaSpoOnful OF
cream of tartar, flavor with orange ex-
tract and bake the same as angel cake
Frost with yellow icing. favored with
orange, and decorate with bits of can
died orange peel and leaves cut from
angelica.
Lemon Ginger Beer.-TEis beverage
should be made couple of days be
fore using. Pour two gallons cold wa,
ter over half dozen lemons sliced
thin, add a pound and a half sugar
and scant ounce ginger root Let
this come to a boil. then add a table
spoonful cream of tartar. Strain and
set in a cool place. When nearly cold
add a yeast cake dissolved in a little
lukewarm water. stir thoroughly, then
set in a cold place overnight. In the
morning mix we'll and bottle. corkinr,
air tight. and lay the bottles on thei:
sides in a cool place. A small bottle
of Jamaica ginger extract may be used
in place of the whole ginger if pre-
ferred
Lemonade.-For every quart Of lem
onade desired allow three lemons
Scrub the lemons thoroughly. as their
rough skins hold many particles OF
dust and CRIME. Clip off the thin outer
skins of part Of the lemons and steep
for a few minutes in a little water
Cut two thin slices from the center of
each of the remaining lemons and lay
one side Press the juice from the
lemons. using corrugated glass or a
lemon squeezer. Add enough sugar to
the Juice to make as sweet as desired.
then pour on the proper amount ut
boiling water. together with the
strained water from the Clipped vol
low peel Let stand until cold and If
not ready to use put in the icebox
until needed Serve couple of slices
of lemon in each glass and little
Clipped ice if you are assured of Its
purity
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-09-02
A BUMP OF ORDER.
Il Saves Wear and Tear on Ones
Nerves.

II Saves Wear and Tear on Ones
Nerves.
1t is a big boon to be born orderly
1t means such saving in wear and
tear on ones nerves.
There are some people who have the
desire for neatness. but lack in its
execution. They can put to rights, but
not keep 1t up.
1t is easier to be born sloven thar.
one with a wish for orderliness allied
to the habit of misplacing.
That place for everything rule is a
good one-if you don't forget the place.
The woman who can find her belong
ings even in the dark is the one to tie
to, provided she doesn't achieve her
neatness by nagging and everlasting
primpnesS.
That some girls bureau drawers
have cyclone struck look may not
argue a lack of orderliness so much as
an oveIpressure of affairs. 1t is not
easy when every minute counts to put
things back in the exact spot where
they should go.
AS the bump of order is the greatest
time saver known. it is well, however,
for the busy girl to make strenuous
efforts to acquire it. 1t may take an
extra minute to put things where they
belong. but time is often reckoned by
hours when it comes to hunting them
where they don't belong.
Orderliness is a good business asset.
The girl who can put her fingers on
notebook at an instant's notice. who is
not on a perpetual hunt for pencil,
eraser and other daily necessities, who
has learned to classify her papers for
easy finding. rarely makes a failure Of
her career S.A
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-09-02
A Plea Fer Less snobbishness.

One wishes there were less snObbiSb
ness in the American woman, less
shrinking from people on whom she
bestows the epithet common" less
pride in figuring by name in the daily
papers 1t cannot be denied, though 1t
Is atmospheric rather than tangible
this condescerSion of the well bred to
those who have not the requisite hail
mark of culture. When shall the ca
dawn when a person with witch ha ~
wand of perfect courtesy shall acctp'
whether they live on the north. the
west or the south side of a town.
whether their husbands are profession
al men or clerks behind 4 counter
whether their social training has been
gained among people who wear the
blue ribbon of eXclusiveness or down
among the ranks? asks a writer in the
Woman's Home Companion. Snobbish-
ness in this country IS IN anachroniSm.
Women ought to he ashamed OF it all
the mere that it is q sign of Americas
weakness. largely feminine and seldom
practiced by men The ancestry OF So
many conspicuous social leaders three
or four generations ago belonged prob
ably to the plIiaest of plain people.
who handled the broom and the hos
and little dreamed of The foundations
It was laying for the future aristoc-
racy. If one is candid with herself and
discerns anywhere in her soul an igno-
BILE tendency to being a snob. be inhos-
pitable to that. and try to trample 1t
under foot and got hack. If not to plain
living. 1T least 10 high thinking
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-09-02
Where Vigor Is Necessary.

In this day Of fashionable glossy
locks one must cultivate energy or her
hair will go lusterless.
There is but one way to get this lus-
ter-by regular brushing. Massage
helps, as does electricity, but both are
of little account if not supplemented
with the night and morning use of the
brush.
Don't think you are brushing your
hair if you give it few languid
strokes. AS we'll try to shine muddy
shoes by gentle passings of cloth.
Brushing should be vigorous, even,
with steady strokes that reach down
to the scalp. You might as well not
brush as not reach the skin.
Don't economic on your brushes.
Get good ones with bristles neither
too hard nor too soft. The one tears
the hair; the other fails to stimulate
the scalp.
The surest recipe for lustrous locks
is plenty Of ''elbow grease" regularly
applied. assisted by cleanliness of the
scalp and occasional soakings in kero-
Sene
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-09-02
A Deadly Stream.

According to Scraps, near the river
Diamante, in Peru. is a most remarka-
bic death trap in the form of a yellow
1sh white fluid, like petroleum. as
sticky as birdlime. It issues from the
bare wall of a rock on a mountain
side, and its source is like tiny vol
canic crater. black. bituminous and
very hot. An exploring party which
investigated it some years ago found
fioundering in it large skunk, which
had evidently been attracted to its
fate by trying to reach one Of the nu-
merous miserable little birds that had
been already caught in the warm adj
hesive bath. A great number of skele-
tons OF birds were found on the edge
OF the stream and several of four leg
ged animals. including marmots and
foxes.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-09-02

the horses were better cared for. That's
right, for horses are really valuable
creatures"
1t was in Hyde park that Mr.. Shaw
first became noted as an advocate Of
socialistic ideas. for he used to join the
groups of orators there on Sundays
and EXPRESS his original views. and he
had usually large following. Shaw
furnished a biographical sketch of him
self for an English journal some years
ago. and it is said to be still correct
except as to his bachelorhood. 1t ran
thus: 81 am bachelor. an Irishman, a
vegetarian, an atheist, a teetotaler. a
fanatic. humorist, fluent liar, So
cial Democrat, lecturer and debater,
q lover of music. fierce opponent of
the present status OF women and an
insister on the serious in art"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-09-02
Homemade Porch Swinq.

If you cannot afford mission porch
swing, which is so comfortable on the
porch in summer. why not improvise
one?
If you are lucky enough to have one
of the old fashioned wooden settees
that used to stand in our grandmoth-
ers' kitchens, the problem is solved.
Cut off the legs and strengthen with
strips Of iron nailed to the lower part
of the back
Paint any desired color. Dark green
or rich red generally looks well. Use
a good paint and finish with a coat
of enamel to prevent the color coming
off on light dresses.
Hang to the ceiling Of the porch with
heavy chains
For the furnishings make a mattress
Of old hair or excelsior and cover with
denim to match the color of the swing
Cheap and artistic cushions in denim,
plaid ginghams or bandannas in har-
monizing colors make as good looking
a couch as if one had spent three or
four times as much on it.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-09-02
CAN BE CHANGED AT WILL.

height over the hip line that may be
desired In the old style form short
wasted waist did not fit on a long
wasted model. and vice versa, and
both for window display and dress
making number of different forms
were required. each for different
type of figure Either for fitting OF
display this invention is expected to
be of value both in the saving OF
money and time. for not only will one
take the place of several of the old
designs. but it will not he necessary t.
scour about for the suitable form for
each occasion