davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
Broke the Law,

"What got me into trouble? Failure
to ignore the law
"That seems odd"
mot at all. couldn't resist the
temptation to give the law a swift
kickn-Louisyille Courier-Journal.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07

amended her companion.
The eide lady pressed Baedeker to
her bosom and sat down with some
abruptness. "I shall have to stop here, y
she painted, "all the rest Of my life and
have my meals and my night things
sent up. I'm very sorry. but I'm GER
tain shall never be able to go back"
Don't be absurd, my poor dear.
We're absolutely safe said virginia.
II may he selfish wretch, but
wouldn't for the world have brought
You into danger. You needn't so down
yet. Let's explore a little farther. It's
easier than turning back. Surely you
can 90 on. Baedeker says you can. In
ten minutes you'll be at the top OF the
COL"
"You may as well tell me that I'll be
in my grave. 1t amounts to the same
thing" walled Miss Manchester, who
was, in the sphere Of happier duties
Miss Letitia Portman and had been
the princess goyerness. Il can't LOOK
down. l can't look up. because l keeT
thinking of the unspeakable things be
hind. After / get my breath and have
become resigned to my fate | may be
comparatively comfortable here fol
some years; but, as to stirring either
way, there's no use dreaming OF It,
"Well, you'll make an ideal hermit
ess," said Virginia. you've exactly
the right features for that profession
austere, yet benevolent. But you're no
really afraid now?"
"Not so much, sitting down." admit
ted Miss Portman, slowly regainint
her natural color.
do you think, then, dear, that you't
relapse and lose your head or any
thing IL l lust strolled on alone to tn
| top Of the col for the view when thS
guidebook says is so fine and thel
come back to organize relief expedi
| ton, say in about half an hour or soT
"No-o." said Miss Portman: II sup
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
fro BE CONTINUED
Barnum's Ready Rstort.

Barnum once appeared at Oxford tt
lecture on "Humbug." The rowdy
students would not give him a hear
Ing. At length, In momentary lull
he shouted. Then you don't want t.
hear anything about humbug"
1--WE don'tp' was the answer ip
roar.
"Well," retorted Barnum, 1--WE go
your money. and there's no humbul
about that"
The disturbance came to suddei
tinish. and Barnum proceeded IN peace
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
Sarcastic.

Mr.. Smith (after III tempered speech
by Brown)-Mr. Chairman and gentle
men. following the example Of Mr..
Browns luncheon. shall venture to
disa agree with him Punch.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
{ tcHApTEp E TWo !
>. .yc TpNfi,o,, .oscecSsacS,

WILIGHT fell late in
the tiny Rhaetian vii
lage of Alleheiligen. So
high ON the mountain
side were perched the
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
5, ! $$,CHApTER THREE
':8f;,A;ss e. q ,eassa.. ce.ee.a.aHi

lis is perfectly appall
ing!" groaned the un
fortunate lady wh'
passed for this adven
ture under the name .
Miss Manchester.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
AMONG THE FARMERS.
"sPEED THE pLow."

on practical agricultural topics
Is solicited. Address all communications In
tended for this department to HENRY ID
HAMMOND, Agricultural Editor Oxford Dem
ocrat, Paris. Ne.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
Peculiar to Itself

In combination proportion and process Hoods Sarsapaa
is therefore Peculiar to Itself in merit sales and cures
1t is made from the best boodpurfyng alteIatiye and
tonic ingredients by such original and peculiar method as 10
The severes forms of scroua salt rheum catarrh rhe-
masm dyspepsia and debility are cured every day by
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
Hoods Sarsaparilla
cola hu drnosts 100 doses $I Begin to take today

same curative properties as the LIQUID form besides
accuracy Of dose. convenience. economy. = there
being no loss BY evaporation. breakage. or leakage
Sold BY druggists or sent promptly BY mail.
C.I. Hood Co.. Lowell, Mass.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
HAMILTON HARRIS.

[If the ground is light and sandy,
nothing will take the place of stable ma
nure. That wanting, the next best
thing to do is to SOW Canada field peas
with oats, and plow the crop under.
There is no small risk in this plan, as, If
the season is very dry, it may be i'm
possible to plow them under at all, and,
if plowed under, the green crop may not
decay, for lac k of sufficient water. 1t is
we'll enough established now to be relied
on that these decaying substances in the
soil, the manure and the green crops,
exert some influence other than to sup
ply plant food. They add humus and
do something else which is not clearly
understood. Some commercial fertilizer,
strong in potash and containing some
phosphoric acid, ought to be applied
with the peas to give them good start.
Sow the peas early and deep, plow un'
der in July, SOW rye and, later crimson
clover. Plow both crops under in the
spring of 1909, and plant corn or pota
toes, or even SOW oats.-Country Gentle
man
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
laairal HnncInsinn

THE old time sailors do not seem to
think much Of steam vessels"
"Well. It is only natural for an old
sea dog to stick to his bark."-Balti'
more American.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
A Reliable
Remedy
ely's Cream Balm

10 quickly ABSORBED.
Gives Relief at Once.
Il cleanses, soothes,
heals and protects
the diseased mem
brane resulting from
Catarrh and drives
away a Cold in the
Head quickly. Re-
stores the Senses Of
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
Improving Land.

l have a piece of land, about three
acres, of a natural mixture of sand and
clay, plowed last fall. The sod was
very thin, consisting of a running vine,
the leaf of which looked like that of a
strawberry. The piece has done nothing
for several years, and is quite run down.
MY intention has been to sow oats.
Would you advise this? If so, what
fertilizer to be used? If not, what would
you advise me to SOW, and what fertil-
izerp / have my corn ground prepared
alsawhara
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07
CAIARRH

Iaste and Smell. Full size 80 cts, at Drug
gists or by mail. In liquid form, 20 cents.
Ely Brothers, 90 Warren Street, New York.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-04-07

Sarsatabs rss nsd'sis. sse.' Ta' in s.s':. s.siss
form Hoods Sarsaparills Is now put mp In ehoco-
Lated tablets called Ssrsstsbs. IS well - In the
usual LIQUID FORM Sarsatabs havs identically ths'
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Expensive Smiles

WTHEN Laugh and the world laughs with
w YOU was written the author took no
thought 1T the autocratIc ones of the earth
who cannot SEE themselves m anything dp-
preaching a ridiculous hight
II rs related that the present Car or Russia
returning once from 4. long 1purucv. was weary
.iuI N rlr mood 70 be triicl with. y ne was
passing through hIS apartments he slipped ON
q Lyar~kIn mat that Law uu the polished floor
tlutchiug 1t one pi ms attendants he nearly
brought himself and his support 70 the floor
Baron Eu,jolt, 10 the time confidential ad-
wiser could not cheek Il smile. which his mon
arch turned iuSt IN time 70 observe The
next Jav EuIiott WIS dismissed from his
office. and lost the SIXTY Thousand dollars
attached 20 the post
Another ruler who - Not tu bc trtticj with Is
William .t GERMANY trough Ni}bJn,c a
clever hut bluff Scot. who was an expert IN
colonial administration. was once taken up
boy the kaIStr. who wished his advice on
Eastern affairs, and had decided - give him
an important position 10 guard German IN
tcrc~t~ III China At one "t their conferences
the k.tIScT made an absurd suggestion us 10
Eastern diplomacy. Milbankc laughed The
Emperor wished HIM trIgIi good night and
never received him again
Another Scottish administrator. Duncan
MCNcI WIS al dvISIug jlc pleasant but touchv
KING ot Portugal. who had planned to put
the ~hakV government of Jhc Cape Verde
Islands IN the hands of this >HIliu manager
The kIng became much excited and made a
ludicrous butch ui his English. which Is usually
excellent M,Nct smiled au,iiblv and WAS
promptly ordered away He wa~ never Ip-
pointed u the crvcrnor>hip, which carried q
salary OF twenty-five thousand Gc!lJr-
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Order of the Golden Horseshoe

HOW MANY persons have ever heard Of The
Order of the Golden Horseshoe the FIRST
order founded IN Am,riya,
In t714. when Virginia extended from the
Atlantic INTO the unknown West. few OF her
,uleuists had crossed the Blue Ridge or the
AleghcuIe~. So full ot dangers from savaCeS
and wild beasts and full of natural difficult
ties wa~ the passage ui these terrible heights
that Governor Sppt~wrod. setting "ut L. dis
cover q pass. looked on the expedition u.s. So
hazardous that he took with hiu guard Of
soldiers. gentlemen and pioneers. armed
and ARRIVING provisions These scaled the
pass with great harlsh,ps and pcrs. and re
turned after The Governor had cut the name
Of King George in the rocks ON the highest
peak.
He then constituted the society. OF order,
nf the t,uldcu Horseshoe. Each man who
a.tj scaled Tins high pass VII made - member
Of ~. and I" each one ac presented golden
horseshoe ON the side VJ~ inscribed IN Latin
~u Il picases him t. cross mountains
Any men thereafter who could prove that
.c bad read with his own ewes the name ot
the King u0 the height was entitled to become
. member 90: this order
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19

light .a tire c.--u-ilr1- af thee <t-e. He
invariably kept chem about Etw III ar -adr
hut .- ~..u as trev h-. arrived .- - .- ag-
81 tftec months Ie would cause r.- 9.
he taken r-i-t5 .-e ktIed rr gwen .-e. he
cared not vhIcH.-aud supplied tta-~ aces
with new ones
When thateJubrIaut Was . r..- ..
London. hrs most cherl~hed crwpsr-... were
two kittens. which he describe a. a' ~artr
Ike ermIre~. with black ar the tsr- t1er-
tails These kittens lost their 'lre- ..ve
vav. and Chdteaubrrani'~ grief - rtet--,. ..u-'v
recorded m MS II sm1iy,S ,!Gr.ys-'a..
Chatedubr-JndS affection for eats .
1t something o+ the teuderue~- OF NaH.Hr.t
but nothing at the 81 .rI~hue~- 81 RE- t're-
He was presented by Pope Leo MI with
a fine cJt named Nicrtto- which. E.f-ve-.
has ur such place N his memoirs us t.. -wo
kittens of the London lodging house
Champfe,lrv. another celebrated Frcn..-..-
has related that. while ON a visit Q. . 'ctor
Hug, he found IN Z. ryrru decorated with pes
tries and tioth.c furniture. a Cat eathr.r-i o-
a JaI~. .ni apparently receiving The p mage
OF the -pmpany- That Is the cat ~aId 'nge
the Wv fellow that caused Nt-y tr -.~. a~
the ,re4F are rubbed rs back aga.H~C h. leg
tfod uaIr the cat IN order 20 give u m.H The
plea~Jraole sense OF having vareSse -he
tiger
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Her First Speech

II Wa the first appearance III public of Ada
{. Sweet of Chicago, United States Com
missioner "t Pensions under President Grant
and one of the first women IN the movement
for equal political rights for the sexes When
the civil War broke out, She was living with
her parents, IN the village of Lombard. now
a suburb of Chicago, and was chosen L. pre-
sent To- the BOYS of the Lombard company 4
silk flag which the women OF the place had made
with their own tair hands
The literary woman ol the village had writ
ten for the occasion beautiful presentation
speech, III which the soldiers were ddIureu to
take the tair flag into which Your wives,
daughters and swccthcarts have sewcd fond
hopes and fearful prayers for your safe return,
carry 1t through the smoke and shell of battle
free from the STAN of dishunor and the rents
Of defeat, and bear ii home victorious At the
end Of the war
Il thought" saws Miss Sweet, that | had
learned that piece up and down, backward
and forward, inside and out but on the great
day itself when the band ceased PLAYING and
an awful hush fell upon the crowd. and every
face was turned eXpectantlv up to nine II was
different | opened my mouth-and paused
The literary lady crcdkcd forward IN her chair
and whispered loudly. Soldiers of Lombard
hat whisper went through mc Ike a knife.
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Great Men and Their Cats

ONE of the most interesting cat stories Is
that Arabian legend which has Tor It's
subject the tdvorItc cat of Mohammed bv
name Hurl1a
One day the Prophet sat meditIting while
his cat stretched herself ~ ease on the broad
extended sleeve of his garment Mohammed
medItated long The warm. drowsv air OF the
afternoon, together with the sound of the sat :
soft purrIng, affected the Prophet 10 the extent
of causing him entirely To- forget his surround
mgS- When finally he bcthuught him of Ger
tam duties to be performed, and made Is II
10 TiNc from his seat on the rug. he discovered
that Muczza was fast asleep MuezzaS >lum
berS must not be disturbed So Mohammed
taking from the reCcsseS OF his gown a pair
of scissor cut the sleeve from his coat, and
went his WAY without Il.
OF another sort is the story of Richceu
and his kittens The Cardinal took great de
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Some Men

SOME men spend most of thr,r lives r-
~ tlc rest miserable
some men are Sr little thJt trry csn- -,e
the greatness OF tr--ir~
some u.cu VIII waste tyu- lp.Ia~~ .-
time 10 irving save cwcut v-rIye cents.
Some men think they see everything .-E
are the ones who invariably -rr- H'r-..
Some men are ~c dishonest that they e..-..--
every honest man of PLAYING game -.. .-1
for them 20 get On TO-
Some men are only ID ittt'c rsu..e. ..-r
thcIr monkey ancestors they ,-r, ...E'.E- '-
Vet never accomplish ANYTHING
some men Who readily .dwIr r..- . .-
line Is the shortest distance Nr-vr.- E.
mathematical points cannot see trLr
the same prIuyjple applies IN morals
some men manage 2. ~t.ercrt m spite,
most earnest Cntlc,tvOr~
~, 1rgf-., r-1..5
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
The Retort Courteous

A official oi tie Department "t the In
terror tells ui an incident II one "t the
Government schools for the Indians
\ patronlzng Young woman 81 CINCINNATI
Was being shown through the institution. when
She came upon fnc looking Indian girl OF
perhaps sixteen years of age. The Indian girl
Wa hcmming napkins. which the girl from
Cincinnati watched for some moments III si-
'sn.c Then >.td she 20 the Indian Arc YOU
,rv,hz,d-
IT., ~iou< raised her bead slowly from her
work au} glanced oddly at her interrogation
'Nu. ~lc replied e., her ewes again sank 10
her napkins. .rr vrU-
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Hunting 4 Soft job

SIMEON. FORD had o,c,sion not Ions go
to call NJ an employment agency m ~"
Work Just as ne entered he observed a tr1cut,
an extremely wealthy parsonage. who Wa IN
search OF % coayhmau. I'm eager booking
Young FrenchWan VIZ cndcuvorlng m the
most excited manner 70 convince the rIch man
that hc stood III need of a valet
Nc " the man IN search of "a cuashmIn w.-|
saving don't Need another valet. The man
have now Is not overworked. 81 there Vot'it
be nothing for YOU 70 do
But monsieur pleaded the French hH.-i.
to occupy me
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
SHREDS AND PATCHES

but lett iu, -;li, ~r,tsh'c~-. -et my teeth,
stepped dccs~lvcv forward. and pushed the
fag INTO the hands %: the nearest soldier
Then I poke Every word of that speech
had lett me. but | knew what II meant.
soldiers of Lombard, | ~..id N a desperate
Voice that must have been heard 70 the utmost
confines ut the crowd, here's YOUR flag Don't
get It dirty Don't tear II And be sure 10
bring II back
y ~bout rose from that crowd such as
orator before ct since has ever evoked from
crowd ~ those parts The first thing | knew
] Wa RIDING ou the shoulders of two soldiers,
while the whole company pressed about me,
with waving hats. and my father wa> leaning
over toward me from the back uf his big horse
and calling me MS own original girl while the
tear rolled down hrs checks with laughter
As long as ! lived IN the village uf Lombard
] never dared tn meet SquareIv the veugetul
eye OF the literary Iadv who had written that
preSeutatlr- speech
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Measuring Il Spirit

a NM - =. Joseph Nl-s1uri. rcllI,
~trrv IN ,oHucctIon with 81 spiritu5t -ic
meeting uuyc held m that town y man named
Daniel Miller who WAS some ~IN feet -.. ~
inches ri height. h.J ,rcd rc,rntiv-
The spirit nt plnie. v.- called tor by ..e
enc 20 tho ~yausc mentioned. When ,- Al
appeared and announced 't~ rcaJfuc~~ @. ~.rv
&" any questions. ~,,tIc ouc --Icl-
Nr- vpu m Heaven"
Ne~. came from the ~had, rt DAM.
Are vou m angel. Dam
Yes"
Vt Tins luu,turc the gue~troncr PAUSED. ...v-
my apparently exhausted hrs fund or. qu,-t-.---
But u the amusement uj an he suddenly adde's,
And what d1 YOU measure from mp q. r,
Dam
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Rain in Wartime

THE late General Joseph Wheeler told this
story illustrating the firm belief which
prevailed in Tennessee during wartime To
the efficacy OF PRAYER
There haj been - summer religious meeting
IN one of the rural districts. No ram. II seems.
had fallen IN long time. everything was
about burned up. Consequently. the preacher
concluded his prayer with tins appeal for ram
oh. Lord We need = refreshing shower
BE pleased to send us the blessed ram. So that
the dropping vegetation may be revived
oh, Lord none OF those light drizzIv rams
but a regular ground Suakcr' \ heavy ram
oh, Lord But not heavy enough good Lord
to raise the Cumberland River 81 that the
NanEec gunbodts can come IN and take Nash
Vllir''
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Devious Definitions

CoLIC The only thing that will tackle
- baby without first considering the con-
sequences
thim,ras The food If in,Iulcmt theorists
Huuur An anvil upon which to crack "a
smile,
Natrim"ny The ~oa tn.st svlmps many Il
,nurt~hip
Sympathy y convenient thing for a silent
partner
Mi~er Onc of the things that will keep IN
any climate
Dude The c>crcs,cucc OF tnsuttcrable con
ccit
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
A Womans Way

Y wom,m'S wAv l> aye rrpctc
With mystery she doth >ccrctc
Within her heart the first dim raw
Ot hove Vet make her lower say
The words chat bring INN To- her feet
Nh subtle charms .,ud influence sweet
Poor man You may Net c'cr compete
With that strange thing with winch yuu play
y woman way
And 81 She wcavc~ her toifs complete,
So fascinating. so petite
Mans independence fades away,
Until he finds himself "a prey
To that from which there uo retreat.
y woman way
- Francis a. Lee
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Seeing Things Big

a WASHINGTON scientist IN illustrating
recently what the telescope dnd the
microscope have done. IN extending the powers
Of vision employed the following figures
Imagine the size of an eve, and therefore
of a man capable of seeing IN a natural way
what the ordinary eve sees with the aid ot a
large telescope. and also the size of man
who could plainly see with his natural eve
what We See with pow erful microscope. he
first man would be a giant several miles tall.
and the second a midget of a very small trde-
tirn ut an inch m height.
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Odd Use for Il Balloon

II Is said that an tntcrprI>InE Par,-'au COM
rauv has discovered "a method ot bleaching
'.ncn ry balloon. \ few hundrr.i feet above
th, earth the atmosphere IL nearly els pure
over ;hc r,,v as III the open country. -0st It
is IN tins higher regi"u thar the lnru rs t~icd
hv the ,Id ot q, captive balloon.
The linen Is attached tu bJuh', frames and
sent UP. There are about SIN a~crut- ~ O.
lav I'm extra charge uf FROM five 20 tfty yyr-
times. sr from one tp ten vents. t- charged t'r
each article
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Miss Bayck Baye

She came ir1n college SEP ~ speech.
! sought her lnftv plane tr -e..Jh-
Ind ?" nv thoughts such figure gave
y. From the cradle L. the grave
But an very qusNlv learned
such commrn speech She must Gayc ned
For lIIc'~ confines She mentioned We're
From Ia~~inrt - scpu'-rer
-Ntru tE-.
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
Appointments

lcs I'm the man who's always late.
\ud without shame IL, Tact ! state
For we'll | know md SD do YOU.
The man meet VIII tc LATE tuu.
-T. q i!lt5TI.I
New-York tribune., 1908-01-19
\ Religious Duty

The Chinese take where cr rhyy -,
Their carvru devils with them SEP
When visiting N other nations
They have Co. make strange rUp-ortaji.F
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-09-20
REPORT is BLOW
TO ENGLAND'S PRIDE

LONDON, Sept 19.-Never has the
average Englishman's pride and conf
dence in the British army received such
a severe shock as thrOugh the Just pub
Hshed annual report of the army medi-
cal department.
Average British recruits are, on en-
nstment, the youngest and in the poor
est physical condition Of those in any
civilized army" the report says. More
over, they are nearly all confirmed
cigarette smokers, and cannot stand
work which would be only play to we'll
fed conscripts Of twenty years Of age.
sim less can they face exercises which
would do no harm to robust men" It
is easy to imagine the value Of such an
army face TO face with the Kaiser's
hardy, trained soldiers.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-09-20
DUKE GETS TIP
FROM AMERICANS

PARIS. Sept. l9.-'"This sixpence piece
IS the only money I ever made in my
life" sai3 the Duke of Gordon and
Richmond yesterday" and I received il
from a party of Americans whom I
guided through GOodwood House the
other day"
1t appears that the Americans met the
duke at the entrance to the park. and.
accepting his service as a guide, fol-
lowed him through halls and galleries,
asking him many questions, particularly
about himself and his family, which he
obligingly endeavOred to answer. When
the tour was done the excursionists
presented him with a sixpence, which
the duke gravely accepted, and the I'M
Euspecting Americans went their way.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-09-20
De Doudeauville'S Last
Hours Like Dandy He
Always Had Been.
GRAND SEIGNEURS
END WITH HIM
French Mobiles Would Give Much
to Follow in His Foot
steps.

PARIS. Sept. 19-The Due de Doud-
eauville IS dead.
Before his three-scOre descendants
were summoned around his deathbed to
say adieu, he had ordered his hairdress-
er 10 card his locks and trim his mus
tache and let him die the dandy that
he had lived
With him is gone the last Of the grand
seigneUrs OF France. Grand seigneur by
the possession of vast territorial do
mains; by the representation OF inter
ests Of thousands Of peasants who lived
near him and by him; and by his f.
deity to the monarchic principle. The
Due de DoudeauvilIe was all that; and
TO such a pitch was his loyalty TO his
ideas, that when ambassador Of the
republic in 1873 he found it quite nat
uraI TO propose to the French legislative
assembly the restoration of the mon
archy.
It was in vain that his friends tried TO
persuade him that he could not decent
~ ask his colleagues TO destroy the re-
gime which he served officially. There
are still in France members Of the old
nobility who would willingly follow his
attitude. but certainly none Of them is
both rOyalist and pOssessor Of great
domains and champion of what we hold
dearest-peasants.