The Harrison times. (Harrison, Boone Co., Ark) 1876-1938, 1908-08-01

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II suppose Bryan said,
Stirring ice in his tea,
THAT in view of the times,
As between you and me,
The smaller the bill is the better,
The which any one will agree
very clever" said Taft,
Here is mine; I've a huueh,
You are not very strong,
land he gave him punch
For they don't like a long overdue
bill!'
And the Peerless One paid for the
dinner
August was named for Augustus
Caesar, nepew and adopted son OF
Julius. August was every bit as
great man, but his uncle had a bet
press bureau When the Black Band
got Julius, his nephew was but 10;
but he had already WON the toga
virillis and shot bear. Mark An
tony tried to get him out of the
way as a sort of vice-president,
but after Augustus had beaten him
5 up and to play on the green at
Modena the big drawing card OF
the Roman chautauqua was glad to
marry the young mans sister and be
a kind of Nick Longworth around
the Roman White House.
The Augustan age was the glory
of Rome. Like Mr.. Roosevelt,
Augustus showed fight all the time,
and the empire enjoyed peace. There
were no reformers and times were
good. The emperor literally patron
ICED literature, and even wrote YER
SEES himself. Poets like Horace and
Virgil had their own enameled gold
chariots with liveried alligator bait
on the job behind, and instead of
having the cruel circus games of
Nero, the populaee met in the col
lisium and wrote limericks for
prizes. 1t is said that Augustus
found Rome city of brick, and
and left it a city of marble. He
was a very proud man, and in order
to make his month as long as any
body's they took day from Febru-
airy and added it to August, which
had but thirty. Augustus
deserves to be better known. and it
is not his fault by any means that
be is not. He tried everything from
divorce to race suicide. He had
three wives and one child, a daugh-
ter Julia. He beat Antony and
9 to Q in the famous
engagement at Aetium, enough in
Itself to have left his name upon a
l0-cent Gig ar; but he stood about
he same chance against the luster
ii his immortal uncle as Miss Ethel
Roosevelt stands in the limelight with
Ter sister Alice.
The dog days will return to paint
The pond like Erin isle,
And the boys will navigate the scum
In good sea-going style;
Reform will dig few more pits
For brewers and distillers,
And the Office seeker pass around
His bum alfalfa filters.
The bullfrog will essay his lay
along the winding creek. and the
Jude will bite the summer girl upon
1er damask check; the sun will burn
The festive tramp clear through his
1nder shirt, and Carrie Nation will
give tongue, and kick up the sod and
1irt, the while her ladyship pursues
he new directoire skirt.
The candidate will buzz around be-
ore the voters door, and all the
babies will get kissed and Struggled
lp some more; the mother will say,
Amt he nicel" with every kiss and
aug, but the father will declare he is
A dern old kissing bug,
The Anna-mosity which Prince
Helie de Sagan and Court Boni de
Castellane bear one another will
cool a little, and about the 10th
hey will together and shoot dice for
he Gould children. The fleet will
,ontiuue to banquet across the Pa
,i6c by easy stages, and upon reach
ing Manila, the stomachs of the Of
icers will be put in dry dock and
'craped.
The baby calf will try his legs
In meadows soft as silk,
And when he bawls his loving dam
Will rush the mothers milk,
nd meanwhile she will smile to think
With many modest bushes,
How Moses could have lived
In nothing but bullrushes.
After the Dist, August will be under
he zodiacal sign of vigor. This
will make chatauqua crowds restless
and outdoor orators will have to
ollow them around through the
woods and talk to them when they
will stand. 1t will also cause Mr.
Rockefeller to get busy on that story
ii his life he is going to write for
,ne OF the national monthlies. and
monopoly will get SO nervous it will
rave a trained nurse and take nour-
through a funnel. MIR
Roosevelt will meanwhile call
special meeting OF the Cabinet at
sycamore Hill, and will issue a
PROCLAMATION declaring that the
pest way to catch lions is to set up
/ sand seive on the desert, shovel
he sand in, and take the lions ont