davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
Insure Your Property This
Spring With L. L. Sample
"The Fire Ins. Man"

If you have bought a farm,
or sold the one you have for
merly owned, or if you are a
new beginner just getting
ready to farm, call up 1903,
Woodbine by phone, and my
wife or myself will answer and
you can tell us where you live,
and will call at your place and
write you a FIRE INSUR-
ANCE POLICY" covering said
property. Il CHARGE NO
POLICY FEE" and make your
FIRST PAYMENT, Feb. LIST,
1909, at which time your 1908
Crop, and Hogs are ready to
market.
Also if you are a tenant, and
expect to move this spring, send
your policy, giving the new To-
cation from your NEW LEASE,
and | will transfer your old
policy for you, this is required
by the Iowa STATE LAW.
Any PHONE CALL, made to
103, from Harrison or adjoin-
ing counties, pertaining to the
"Fire Insurance Business"
should be put in Reverse Ca,p
and we pay for it at this end of
the line, BOOSTING YOU
NOTHING TO PHONE US
YOUR WANTS."
AS | am away from home 5
days each week, please phone
your wants to my wife, who
can answer them as we'll as my
self, and then she will re-phone
your message to me each even
ing.
Remember | wrote 1877 APP
plications, and paid LAT losses
during the year of 1907.
Yours for Business.
L. L. Sample,
"The Fire insurance Man"
In office over Siebels Store
every Saturday. Phone 1903.
dm-wm5 Woodbine, Ia
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
Where Rrindle does not roam.


~ milking sins nv :iaran.
AS toward the barnl 50
To watch the hired man do that Il b.
AS he softly whispers SO.
When churning time comes round
All, there is fun enough to burn.
grasp my hat, and outward bound,
While misses runs the churn.
Now Bruner from Nebraska S land
Came forth in armor, shield and brand
The floor he paced from wall to wall
His words rang out like trumpets cali
His BROAD sword forth at length he
hurled
And rent the veil to insect world,
When 10. from out it's brilliant skies
Game insects, beetles, bugs and flies.
The spider wovc her silken hue
The worm crawled. full plain in view,
Six legs we're on beetle swung
While eight are on the spider hung.
The locust made it S whirrinp noise
With Tapping ears instead of voice,
The chicken mites enjoyed their feast.
But would starvc, if placed upon a
beast.
The butterfly an egg inlaid
Among the cabbage leaves he said.
Ere seven days had disappeared
The egg had Matched, worm appeared
And OF this plant it daily ate
Some twelve or fourteen times it 5
weight,
AT length it's appetite supplied
1t stole away. away to hide
But ere the moon her full face reared
A brilliant fly again appeared,
When this old harp her strains refuse
] am deserted by the muse
These insects now my harp Offend
My muse no longer guides my pen.
.And since these strings in discord seem
Perhaps 'twere best to change the
theme.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

Engineer Harry Rainbow who
has the run between Mo. Vail
ey and Lincoln says the trip this
morning from. Lincoln, was the
worst he has had in four or five
years. He Sc US that there is
two feet of 81 ow on the level
lin Lincoln.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

Judge Lee s. Estell, of Oma-
ha, has been secured, by Col. F.
L. Davis, to deliver the decora-
ration day address for the G. A.
Rs in this city May Both 1908.
He is reported to be an able and
pleasant speaker and the G. A.
RS are fortunate in securing
50 distinguished a speaker for
the occasion.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
POLAND e Campbeyl secured 4;

Pollard 4 Campbell secured a
big contract at Yankton, South
Dakota, yesterday, winning
over q contesting firms. The
ditch will be sixteen miles in
length and the amount OF the
contract will be $G5,O00 and
must be completed by October
/, 1909. The canal will run
through Clay and Yankton
counties. We are glad to know
these people got the work for
they have certainly done good
work on the Allen and Boyer
cutoff bitches.
A. H. Livingston and j. w.
Lloyd will leave tomorrow for
Hot Springs, South Dakota,
where they will enter the Gov
eminent Sanitarium. Mr.. Lloyd
will stop off at Long Pine for a
few days visit with his daugh-
ter, Mrs, T. L. Finley.
Mrs. Harry Newton was
delightful hostess last evening
to a small dinner party, Mrs
Walter McCulla being the
guest of honor. At six thirty
places were found at the table
which was very prettily decor
ated in a fruit centerpiece
An elegant four course Dime.
was served by the hostess
The evening was very pleas
antly passed in visiting. Gov
ers were laid for the following
Mes lanes r. Harvey, G. Ma
hony, w. McCulla, Mise
Amen, Fensler, Mckay.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

tack the vital organs, causing catarrll of
the bladder. or the kidneys themselves
break down and waste away cell by cell.
Bladder troubles almost ALWAYS result
from 4 arrangement of the lsicllievs aud
a cure is obtained quickest by proper
treatment oft!!e kidneys. If YOU arc feel
ing badly YOU can make no mistake by
taking Dr. kilmer's Swamp Root, the
great kidney, liver and bladder remedy.
IT corrects inability to hold urine and
scaldins pain in passing it, and over
comes that unpleasant necessity of being
compelled TO go often through the day,
and To get mp many times during the
night The mild and the extraordinary
effect of Swan,p-Root is soon realized.
1t stands the highest for its wonderful
cures OF the most distressing cases
Swamp Root is pleasant 10 take and is
sold by al druggists i'll iiftv-cent and
one-dollar size bottles. You may have a
sample bottle of this wonderful new dis
coverv and a book that tells all about it,
both sent free by mail. Address, DIR. Kill
ner & Co., Bilghanlton, N y. When
writing mention reading this generous
offer i'll this paper. Don't make any
mistake, but remember the name, Swamp.
Root, DIR. kilner S Swamp Root, and the
address, Bingllaulton, n. V, OH every
bottle
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

There is quite a novelty in
Green's window in the way of a
Jonquil growing in water
an in full bloom. This is the
first one we ever saw growing
in water.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

John Seeley had the fingers
of his right hand badly crushed
while working on the wheel
press at the local car-shop
Monday afternoon. AS a con-
sequence he is enjoying an en-
forced lay-otf for a couple of
weeks.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20


Monday, Feb. II. 'os, being
Fred Blunt's 2lst birthday, his
young friends and also a few
neighbors sprung a most pleas
ant surprise or him. About 80
were present. A most enjoy
able evening was spent by those
present. Elegant refreshments
were served. Those present
presented him with a lovely
military toilet set. At a late
hour they departed for home
wishing him many more happy
birthdays.
One Who Was There.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

AT length ITS appetite supplied
1T stole away. away to hide
But ere the moon her full face reared
a brilliant fly again appeared,
Wien this old harp her strains refuse
am deserted by the muse
These insects nowmy harp offenl
My muse no longer guides my pen.
And since these strings in discord seem
Perhaps 'twere best to change the
theme
Engineer VIM. Fisher, of
Fremont, Nebr., was in the
Valley last evening, and says
Mrs N. |. Owens has so far re-
covered that her husband, En-
gineer Owens, has taken lis
run again. Her friends in this
city will be glad to hear this.
Harry Newton received the
first car of lumber today for
the new cement factory.
Born to Mr.. and Mrs. Chas.
Moss, Sunday evening, a son.
MISS Quist, of Logan, was the
guest of Miss Fans, of the
public schools, over Sunday.
The condition of Charley
Sergeant is reported as about
tina same. There seems tn be
sn all hcpe Of his final re covery.
Mr.. ani Mrs. VIM. Krebs, of
Carrol], are in the Valley tie
guests Of the Dan Finley fam
lilly for few days.
The Knights and Ladies' of
Sacurify will give a ball on "St.
Patrick's Day in the Evening. !"
March 18th.
w. M. Smith bsou ght to our
office today, a nice young rab-
bit for our supper. Thanks.
the thermometers ranged all
the way from zero this morning
at 700 o'clock, to 2 and 3
above, according to the loca-
ton of the instruments; how
ever the night was cold enough
for general use.
j. B. Barrett, of the Valley
Bank, drove out in the country
today to clerk the Barney
Kearns sale. A twelve mile
ride up the Missouri valley this
morning wasn't the pleasantest
thing one could do.
Miss Sadie Dunn returned to
her home in Omaha this after
noon, after a few days. visit at
| the home of Mr.. and Mrs. John
Bender.
George Varnes, of Hastings,
Nebr., is in the Valley the
|guest of relatives. Mr.. Varnes
was formerly a resident of Mis-.
souri, Valley and has many
friends here who are pleased te
know that the world is treat.
ing him so kindly. He will re-
main in the city for a few days.
Bales Snow for Summer Use,
Arcola, ILL.,, Feb. NV. w
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
Bales Snow for Summer Use,

Arcola, ILL.,, Feb. NV. w.
Pepper who resides northeast
of this city near Newman, is at
work with a number of lay
balers baling up snow for next
summers use. He tried the ex-
pertinent last year and found
that baled snow makes an ice
of better quality than ordinary
frozen or manufactured ice.
He had no trouble in disposing
of his last years output and
will work on a bigger scale this
year. The baled snow will
stand more hot weather than
ordinary ice will.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

l'.Ss ss1illl2 III ulls
IS because SO decep.
tive. Many sudden
deaths arc caused
by it-lleart dis.
ease, pneumonia,
heart failure or
apoples are often
the result OF kid
ney disease. If
kidney trouble is
allowedt
the kidney-poison-
cl blood will at
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20
The Cause Of Many
Sudden Deaths.

There is disease prevailing iii this
couiltrT most dailucrous because so flecen.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-02-20

Harry Newton received the
first car of lumber today for
the new cement factory.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
A ParIiomentary stratagem.

1t was at an informal session,
after one of the regular meetings
of religious convention, that the
New Hampshire minister told some
of his best stories. "There is ono
man in our church," he said, "who
is as good as gold, but so long wind
ed that he tires everybody out.
DAT one time it was suggested by
one of the dcacons that in order to
avoid the extreme length of this
good mans remarks at prayer meet
ing We might make FIVE minute
limit. "a
"This 1 inaugurated at the next
meeting, and it was cheering to us
all to see that when the long winded
man rose to speak he held his open
watch in his left hand. .t
"When the limit was all but
reached he said, Finding, my dear
friends, that 1 have only few sec
onds left in which to speak and
having much to say, l will throw
the rest of my remarks into the
form of a prayer"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
The
Book

In Bad Way.
A doctor came up to a patient In an
iasane asylum, slapped him on the
D.ck and said; "Well. old man, you're
all right. You can run along and
write your folks that you'll be back
home in two weeks ms good ms new"
The patient went of gayly to write
his letter. He had 1t finished and
scaled, but when he was licking the
stamp 1t slipped through his fingers to
the floor. lighted on the back of a
cockroach that was passing and stuck.
The patient hadn't seen the cock
roach. What he did see was his es-
capped postage stamp zigzagging aim
lessly across the floor to the base
board. wavering up over the Dashboard
and following crooked track up the
wall and across the ceiling. In de-
pressed silence he tore up the letter
that he had Just written and dropped
the pieces on the floor.
1.-TWO weeks! Hellp he said. 81
won't be out of here in three years"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
oNr cERTArNTY
Some Point Pleasant People Fully
1,E,4 ~ 49,

Some Point Pleasant People Fully
Realize 1t Now.
When the back aches from kid.
ney ills.
When urinary troubles annoy
you,
lief;
a sure way to be CURED,
Doap's Kidney Pills will do it,
Point Pleasant people endorse
this claim.
Mrs. John Z. Stone, living on
Main street, Point Pleasant, w.
Va, says: For some years I was
troubled with kidney complaint. ]
suffered with headaches and dizzy
spells and had severe pains through
my hips aud loins. at times the
twinges through my back weresso
severe that l was unable tosstoop
without suffering intensely, and in
the morning when 1 arose | was 80
stiff and lame ACROSS the loins that
L could not getup. Ifailed to find
relief until Doan's Kidney PILE
we're brought to my attention, and
/ procured box at Ct. w. M
Hoof's drug store. They helped
me from the frat, and / continued
using them until a complete oure
was the result Ilgave statemen'
to this effect in 1903 aud at the
present time December Is, 1900.
am glad to confirm everything ]
previously said. The cure Doen's
Kidney Pills effected has proved q
permanent one"
For sale by all dealers Price 80
cents. Fostor. Milbnrn 90, Buf.
falo, New York, sole agents for the
United States.
Remember the name-Doan's-
and take no other
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
"A Lazy Liver

May be only tired llvcr. or starved
liver. It would be q stupid as we'll as
savage thing to beat weary or starved
man because no Jagged In his work. So
,in,treatlng the tagging, torpid liver 1t Is
o great mistake to lash It with strong
drastic drugs. A torpid liver Is but an
Indication of an ill-nourlshed, enfeebled
body whose organs arc weary with ovei
work. Start with tho stomach and allied
organs of digestion and nutrition. Put
them in working order and sec how
Quickly your liver Will become active,
DIR. Plerce's Golden Medical Discovery
has made many marvellous cures OF silver
trouble {" by its wonderful control Of tho
organs OF digestion and nutrition. It re-
stores the normal activity of tho stomach,
increases tho secretIons OF the blood-mak.
ing glands, cleanses tho system from poll
sonous accumulations, and so relieves the
liver OF the burdens imposed upon It by
The detection OF other organs.
Ifyou haye bitter or bad taste In tho morn
ing, poor or Tariablo appetite. coated tongue,
foul breath. cohstipated or irregular bowels.
feel weak. easilS tired. despondent frequent
headaches, pain Or distress&p small OF BACK"
gnawing or distreSsed tfsn0g In stomach D.
perhaps nausea, NtikSaRNdf>S "risingss In
throat after eating. and kinoSe symptoms
Of weak stomach and torpid liSeA no nedi-
cine will relieve you more pTqmpllX Or c49q
you mora pefmanently thap- Doctor Plercee
Golden Medical DIscoyery. Perhaps only
n part OF the Above symptoms Will DO present
at ono time and yet point to torpid liver or
ibiliousnesS and wcak stomach. Avoid ell
hot bread and biscuits. grlddlo cakes and
other indigestible food and take the Golden
Medical Discovery regularly and stick TO Its
use until you arc vigorous and strong.
The HDiscoveryP is non-secrct, non-alco-
holic, Is Rlycerlc extract of native medicl-
nal roots with o fun list of its ingredients
printed on each bottle-wrappcr and attested
under oath. Its ingredients are endorsed
and extolled by tho most eminent medical
writer's of the age and arc recommended 70
cure tho diseases for which IL Is advised.
Don't accept substitute OF unknown
composition for this non secret MEDICINE
or Known COMPOSITION.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
rarrIna Of Roads.

Road tarring Is becoming a. habit In
the automobile districts Of England.
The old method Of applying with hand
brushes is now being abandoned in IA
vor of the use of an apparatus which
is nothing more or less than a giant
air brush. The tar Is in large tank,
and two men pump air into 1t, while n
third goes about the road with pipe
having four outlets through which the
mir throws the tar in fine spray. This
rapidly and thoroughly coats the road.
Sand is then sprinkled, and the dust
Is laid for gooG
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
INC auesaina eame.

1 Apompous English peer, an important
figure in the upper chamber by reason
of very long and very bushy beard,
had dismissed his valet for the night,
Shortly afterward, however, he was
much annoyed to hear peals of laugh
ter from below and called back the
man to explain. The valet answered
that 1t was just little Joke, but his
lordship would have none OF 1t and
demanded details angrily.
"Well." admitted the man, with re
luctance, at was really little game
we were having, my lord"
"what gamer
"well, my lord, kind Of guessing
game"
"Don't be fool, walters, rang for
you in order to get an explanation.
What guessing game are you playing?
Guessing what2"
1--WE bllndfolded the cook, to tell you
the truth, my lord, and then one of us
kissed her, and she had to guess who
1t was. The footman held the mop up,
and she kissed 1t and then cried out,
ooh, your lordship, how dare your"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30

This ia what Hon Jake Moore.
Slate Warden of Georgia. says OF
Kodol For Dyspepsia. "E o De.
Witt q Co Chicago, ILL., Dear
Sirs-I have suffered moro than
twenty years from indigestion.
About eighteen month"; ego had
grown go much woTee that could
not digest crust of corn bread
and could not retain anything on
my stomach. j lost 25 lbs; in fact
L made up my mind that could
not live but a short time. whom q
,fiend of mine recommended Ko.
dol. consented to try Ito ploHs0
him and / was better in ono day.
/ now weigh moro than / ever did
in my life and am in better health
than for many years. Kodol did IL
i keep bottle constantly, and
write this hoping that humanity
will be benefited You're very
truly, Jake o Moore, Atlanta, Ang
10. 1904" Sold by all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30

Be careful about that little cough.
Get something right away; some
good, reliable remedy that will
move the bowels. Kennedy'b LAX.
alive Cough Syrup acts gently yet
promptly ON the bowels and allayu
inflammation at the same time.
1t is pleasant to take and tits 90.
.pecially recommended for childfen,
as 1t tastes nearly as good aB suger
or maple sugar Sold by all drug
gists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
-NOt>Fhe Man.

I1oafcr (saluting perfect strangely
II remember you, major, when wo
was in the regiment.
Stranger-Whatl In tho Ninety
ninth2
Loafer-Yus, major.
Stranger-Company AP
Loafer-Yus, major.
Stranger-Always getting drunk
Loafer-I won't so SO far as to
deny as / took drop extry now
and then, major.
Stranger - Discharged with ig-
nominy for cowardiceP
Loafer- Ardly that, major, for l
allus did my duty.
stranger-Then you're not the
mani-Punch.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30

Kodol is today the best known
and most reliable remedy for all
disorders of the stomach, suoh as
dyspepsia, heart burn, sour stom
aoh and belohing of gas. Kodol
contains the same juices found in
\ healthy stomach Kodol ispless-
ant to take. 1t ia guaranteed to
give relief and il cold here by all
druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
optlmlst and Pesslml...

Sidney Resented once wrote com.
edy entitled 'The Optimlst," which
achieved success after its production.
but was long time reaching the
stage. Manager after manager refused
tho manuscript, and one day Mr.. Ro-
senfeld, whose patience was exhaust.
ed, blurted out to his sole auditor:
"Of course you don't appreciate the
play! You don't even know the mean
ing OF its Manner
ayes. / do" protested the impresarlo.
"Well." insisted Rosenfeld, whats
the difference between an optimIst and
pessimistT
The manager barely hesitated. IAN
optImist is an eye DOCTOR" he said; "a
pessimlst is foot doctor"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
The
Scrap Book
suroioftone.

Sure of One.
There is u certain congressman from
New England. q self made man, who
IS noted in Washington for two things,
his quick wit and pride in his Celtic
origin.
BE was walking down Pennsylvania
avenue one fine evening with a fellow
member from Kansas when the west
erner, looking Mt the sky, remarked,
fHow bright Orion is tonightg
"A-r-rh!o replied the New England
er. $50 that is Organ, is TT Well,
thank the Lord there's one freshman
in heaven anyhowl'- Mppincotts,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
1AueHrERLAND.

All aboard for LaughterlandI
Ills a pleasant place.
Where the sun OF happiness
Shines in every face.
Where the cares of this old world
Quickly arc forgot
And there's never any cloud,
Any pain or blot.
All aboard for Laughterland.
Region of delight
Can be reached by any who
Bet about 1t right.
First YOU shake your troubles OFF,
Then begin to smile,
And you'll go to Loughterland
In a little while.
Children dwell in Laughterland
Cause they do not know
What makes grownup people bear
Burdens as they go.
Light hearts seek for Laughterland.
Optimists go there
Oh. 1t Is tho gladdest place
Known OF anywhere!
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30

NEW y.
Nc al Market.

i have opened a first-class, clean
Meat Market in the Waggener old
store room, corner of First aud Main
Streets and will try at all times to
please and be accommodating to my
custom RS; viii aim to butcher moth,
times the best OF beef, mutton, fresh
pork. crickens, homemade lard, salt
meats of all kind. Give me Your or
der. Both phones,
IS. ID. ERRETT.
July. %.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30

DR.. hansen is fond of sailors lie
says that there Is a brotherhood OF tht
sea which stamps sailors and singles
them out from all other caliings. He
has found more thoughtful earnestness
among sailors and better spirit than
among members of any other probes
sion Sailors. he believes, bear all
their hardships and sufferings with
calthness and fortltude.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
TRMsPAss NOTION.

strictly forbidden ON the premises controlled
by theundersigned under penalty orthelRw:
Virginia Wiley PAnnell
Edith Miller Wade
Waggener heirs
Peter III Steenbergen
r BJ Jones
James Capehart
Burdett
w O. Roseberry heirs
q O Lewis tpH
w II Hogg
Il Morrison
J l. Barnett
John ChlldB
8 II McNeill
John + Lewis
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
OPPORTUNITY.

Master of human destinies am II
. F'aIno, love and fortune on my footsteps
walt.
Cities and fields walk. penetrate
Deserts and fields remote. and, passing by
knock unbidden once at every gate.
II sleeping, wake; II feasting. rise before
4 / turn away. 1t is the hour of fate,
And they who follow me reach every
state
Mortals desire and conquer every foe
Save death, but those who doubt or hes
itate.
Condemned to failure, penury and woe,
Seek mo in vain, uselessly implore-
answer not, and return no moro.
John J. ingalls,.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-12-30
Notice TO Traspassers.

Notice Is hereby given that tres
passing upon my lands isstrictly pro-
hibited aud that hunting, trapping,
fishing will not be permitted b, me;
Any one caught doing 80 will be dealt
with according to the law.
JOHN MoCAUSLAND, JR.