Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-02-07
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us the plot OF your drama taken
from hfeY' ''oh. yes the hero meets
his death In motor car accident
Lustige Blaetter.
Were you frightened during the bat-
tie, Patf" Pat-Not bit, sor. OF kim
face most anything whin OF have me-
back to 1.-THE Circle.
Your son Joined college fraternity,
didn't hep mo, it was tripping at the
top of Ave flights OF stairs that laid
him up that way."-Puck.
Jones-I am going to marry an En-
glish girl. Bones-You viii never
again hear me say that the English
have no appreciation Of joke.
"She has very useful husband"
How do You make that out2" "He can
always suggest something that he wants
for dinner. Detroit Free Press.
He-Neither can speak the others
language She-How did they proposeY
He-Loves language Is the same all
over the world.-Cleveland Leader
Mrs Allcash-I was directed to YOU
as diamond expert Mr., Wayupp
Toppe-Just 80. ma am I'm baseball
magnate.--New York Commercial Adj
yertiser.
Mrs Bacon-W Why, that piano has
several keys that make no sound at
all. Mr.. Bacon Yes: and there are
some other good features about it,
Yonkers Statesman.
Scribher-Im writing a book called
How to Live ON Five Hundred Dollars
Year" Scrawler- What's your OBJ
tect? Scribbler-To get the $780,
Philadelphia Record
In several instances women have
lately figured as footpads. There seems
no way that a mau may protect him
self unless he go armed With live
mouse. Philadelphia Ledger
You say that you have your own
way about the house," Invariably"
answered MIR. Meekton. "IIow do YOU
manage IT." by always agreeing with
| Henrietta. w Washington Star
Mother why did you not scream
when Hans kissed YOU? Daughter lilo
threatened me Mother How7 Daugh-
ter lie said IL / did he'd never kiss
me again Meggendorfer Blaetter
Young Colt makes quite show
with his speedy automohilIng, doesn'h
he?" well, from the way he Keeps on
getting arrested. the show is something
Of continuous fine performance.
You know, Jessie, the good book
says Love your neighbour spoke the
mother to her little girl. Yes, mann
ma but that was written before tho
days OF fats. "--Y onkers Statesman.
What am | ever going to do with
such bad, bad boy?" sighed the fond
mother 20, you leave me alone" re-
piled the young hopeful. I'm not halo
as bad as can be. - Brooklyn Life.
The Monument Man latter several
nbortiye suggesiions) How would sip
ply Gone Home" do? Mrs Newweeds
Il guess that would be all right 1t
was always the last place he ever
thought of going Puck.
Eph--~EIow'd you git along ridin' in
them there sleepiu' ears when you took
your trip? Simp-Got along all right,
| but caught colored Teller tryin' to
sneak away with my boots m made
i'm bring 'em back. indianapolis star.
so you enjoyed VeniceT' said the
traveller Yes" answered Mr.. Cum
rox. 1T was kind of pleasant, for q
change, to be robbed by a gondolier in
stead Of hack driver Washington
Star.
II know It breaks old Skinniut's
heart to part with cent, so | am curl
Gus TO know what he did about his
daughters wedding gift What did he
give her when she got married. He
gave her away"
"liave you read of the thousands of
pounds Of duinlne that are sent to Pam
amaT" II have" answered the man
who Jests on serious subjects. And
yet some people have tried to tell us
that the canal Is no great shakes p
Washington Star.
Riding in an omnibus up Reyent
street recently, an old lady was annoy
Ing the other passengers by her re-
marks. The conductor demonstrated
| with her, saying, "Ma'am, remember
you are In a public vehicle, and behave
as such - Spectator
"Ar alone In trackless desert, !"
walled the heroine. Not a tree, not a
rock In sight Here come the feroclous
lions, oh. what shall l do" Dive
troo de trap!" shouted friendly stage
hand. "Yure standin' right over 1t,
Teddy. Houston Chronicle.
II tell you, golf is going to be the
salvation OF the nation 1t Is going to
make athletic men and women OF our
puny offspring and lengthen our days
by decades" "But our ancestors didn't
20 I'm for g0lfi" and where are they
now? Deadl All deadw--New York