The Dawson news. (Dawson, Ga.) 1889-current, 1908-01-29


There are two Pews for thirty
Churches and Temples, and there are
large number of Parsons, Priests,
Popes, Deacons, Elders, Bishops and
Ministers, but no common Preach
ers
While a bed does not appear there
are three Springs, two Pillows, one
Bolster, three Quilts, seven Comforts,
three Sheets, one Spread and Cases
for the Pillows.
Eight Savages are in the employ of
the government, and they have Guns,
Cannons, Knives, Dirks, Razors,
Shells, Shot, Bullets, Powder, Balls,
Swords, Shields, Armors and Arrows.
There are nine Doolitties and there
are hundreds who try to do less;
while Shirk, Dodge, Hide, Refuse,
Crumble, Soldier, Slack, Slow,
Smirk, Stop, Halt, Behind, Loaf, Lie,
Linger, Retreat and various other
characters are in evidence.
There are twenty-six Rushes, and
they Travel with Pull, Fleet, Fast,
Forward, Willing, Quick, Peart Has
ty Early, Earnest, Smart, Lively,
Victors and Runners. You can also
find those who are Shy, Polite, Pleas
ant, Proud, Cool, Bitters, Advise,
Small, Sleepers, Failing, Slow, Fall
ing, Stuck, Wild, Witty, Miners, Mes
sengers, Merry, Blows, Blowhards,
quite numerous), Loud, Looney,
Lucky, Backward, Sour and every
other condition
Only one Star is to be found, but
there are many Moons, two Suns and
eight Sundays. There are Mondays
and Fridays, but the other days of
the week are not represented.
March, May and June are the only
months, but Souths, Norths, Vests
and Easts are in evidence.
In the entire list there does not
appear but one Sponge, but there are
many who belong to this tribe. Mr..
Snow has company with Frost, Sleet,
Hail, Ice Blizzard and one fellow
named Not takes comfort in the fact
that there are others who are Warm,
Blister, Melts, Burns and Scorches.
Damn is not a pretty name, but it
is preferable to Damall and COldam
mer.
1t is somewhat surprising to find
only one Partisan in such big lot.
Without a single Nurse there are
three Babes and seven Brats, while
Kids are in abundance.
In the Fish line Uncle Sam has
Herrin, Perch, Bass, Trout, Rock,
Roe Salmon, MinnOws, Pike, Eel,
Haddock, Founders, Crabs, and Oys-
tiers, that is, if crabs and oysters are
fish. There are plenty OF Cooks with
lots to cook-Ham, Bacon, Shoulder,
Duck, Beans, Corn, Pork, Bread,
Coffee, Onions, Maccaroni, Dates,
Apples, Peaches, Plums, Pears and
various other things, including Chest
nuts. The only Orange is a minor
under instructions at the Washing
ton navy yard
If you wish something to drink
you can take your choice of Beer,
Wine, Ale, Porter, Hook, Sherry,
Brandy Stout, Bitters, Water, but
no straight whisky. These can be
had by a Beck, Nod or Wink.
The animal kingdom-no nature
fake-has Bull, Cow, Heifer,
Mares, Colts, Filleys, but no horses.
There are Lambs, Hogs, Shoats,
Pigs, and Fowls of every descrip-
ton.
There is one Fewclothes and
young lady in the government print
ing office is Shortsleeves, but she is
not classed with the Indian maiden
whose name is Laura No Dress.
There are four Justices and four
teen Judges, but only one Just, al
though there are two Lawyers with
scores of Laws While there are
Graves and Collins there are no
Deaths or Undertakers. Trusts are
many, and there is one Getall, and
two GetmOres.
Hope. Faith and Charity draw
their salaries regularly with little
concern for Tears, Sorrows, Pains,
Losses. Fears and Berefts. Some are
Glad while others are Gladder.
There are regiments of Moores and
several Muchmores. Mr.. Mouth
takes a rear seat for Allmouth.
Hugs and Huggers go hand in hand,
while Smack works along with kiss
es. There are those who are Worse
and one Worst A couple OF Buz-
yards. male and female, grace the
rolls. a King is a hOdcarrier at the
navy yard. The Light House Ser
vice has a Harddrinker and MI. Beer
is also in the same service. Thir-
ty-two Midgets are employed by the
| government. Nine are Merry and
Sad. Uncle Sam has one Boil, no
| bruises. but several Wounds. There
are Lamplighters, but no lamps, ana
| Oilers without oil. Thirty-one are
Strong and seven Weak viz Elk
carries off the palm for the shortest
name and an India2, Bear and Deer
lJumDed over the Dead Pony, the
! longest.
CHAUTAUQUA IN ALBANY.