davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04

The had IN the early a mans
tShe did this little lark Well % telescope the
ngh her brood had passed the piufeahor when
overlooking his patch Of bluegrass ea
said THAT yeyo vedurc needs Eung with The clippers
kind viii aud hoos nciFhbor ball bear
of the iafka heard his orauon aud
the Info they'd DO well 60 hus
blades
THAT paaveFing hts she replied
There immediate calling the transfer
pany sw days the wife ~ tho Who owned the lawn
aud said N walt for Henry set as Job this place
viii look like Louisiana eauehke Drafted don't st down
shear the buonh0n scissors" The Lark.
from there
Hffy Tho dys line OF talk listens like tho
Al
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04
RENEW PLAYING CARDS

Playing cards that have become
unplcasanily sticky may be made
az good AZ new by spreading them
out upon a newspaper. sprinkling
them with taloum powder. aud rub.
bing Il well upon them.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04

liked the grand sweep Of the brim.
the floral display and the general
artangemout q the ribbons. bat I
thought the dead bird looked out Of
place
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04

No Lie. Either.
Mrs Meswnt 3illinEer. how did
sou like the decorations At the
church this morning.
Mf Mcssat -Ail the decorations
could sec. iobelia. we're worn b.
the young tady Ia front 81 me. l
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04

Tire Great Tens of Oratory.
WAS your apeech AZ the convens
ton Il aucceaaT asked one states.
man.
NO" answered the other. "The
delegates went ahead and exhibited
Wild enthusiasm for the man ! Was
talking about instead Of stampedlnE
for me
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04

Ills wife'a away
And he 10 day
BemoHuH his fate aud wishes
lie hadn't let
The total get
To 90 900 dishes.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04

"Thls son Of mine Is always up To
something
Boys viii be- boys"
4 wouldn't object 10 that But
b. wants % taks = female part In a
college play.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04

"'And az that junction. " related
the pretty girl who was reading a
summer novel. the hero kissed
her
"Crnclonai" laughed her chum
And what kind Of a junction would
you call that7'
"Nhy ~er ! guess that was a
grand junction. my dear"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04

Tfuthful
why did you tell Your wife you
had had a highbaiiG"
because I had had six"
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04
STAR DUST
BY JOSH

A woap FROM JOSH wlsa.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04

Politics are
like oanssIoupe.
You can never
tell what's IN
sldo until you
cut tho rlnd.
The Seattle star. [volume] (Seattle, Wash.) 1899-1947, 1908-09-04
s$BOB" HODGE, THE PEOPLES
OPPORTUNITY

Do the people Of King county desire good governmenP
DO they desire officials who viii enforce the laws. regard
\ az who Is ht1
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05
DULuTH MERCHANTS 70
oBsERVE LABOR DAY

Stores Will Remain Closed ana En-.
ployes 0ivsn 4 holiday.
La Dor Day viii be generally OBJ
served In Duluth.
Practice caIly all the stores II the
city will remain closed all day and
Eive their employees the benefit sof the
whole holiday.
Alaens the lar. stores hose
slana l'ers stated they would be closed
were: artons ynite 4 Ffeiuauth
Ciiddina stlberstetn Z
1oal Clothing 1p,a,y,'
q ], Z g sl s Dp1utia
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05

The unions Of our city have cordial
ly co-pperated with the Labor: Day
committee. In preparing for the exer-
cises; and events Of Labor's great holi-
day and the twenty-first celebration
Of that day in Duluth this year prom
ises to be equal to, If It does not excel,
all former events I
The principles for which organized
labor stands: need no public demon
stration to emphasize their sacredness,
but: such demonstration Will: DO much
towards inducing those not with. ,us,
to. examine into, the purposes. OF our
aims, and those who honestly examine
into our beliefs, II they be toilers, will
regard us more .favorably, even, If they
do not join with us. and those not
totlers can plainly. see, that the sacri-
fices. of time and money We. make
must, mean something beyond ephe1n-
eral show, and: that: the labor problem
has, something In | and Of it.. that de-
n1ands consideration at thxir hands.
I: Regarded solely from an industrial
stand dpoint, the occasion presents noti,-
Ing, either particularly new Or partic-
ularly significant. Industrial depres-
sions, financial. panics, citizens alli-
ances and manufacturers associations
are the common Incidents Of the labor
movement: And while these may TEN
porartiy obstruct the accomplishment
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05
WHERE DC YOU. STAND?

Are non-un1on made goods cheap
even if they sell "a few cents lower
than those manuf, f,ctured under fair
conditions, when thy are produced at
the cost Of T.. !
sChildren's lives, -s- a.
Human happiness, '@e, * -
Starvation wages, -
tDeath-trap Workshop,
Disease breeding fac, t,ries, Ill.,. +. -
.slavish conditions, ! o., >,&'
Lack Of all physical Smforts,
Excessive hours Of laboS r, I. Z,
Health of workers, s:&. l.
Desertion Of the SCHOOL, 4H
sacriflces OF American Indeperd-
ence. ST. Joseph Union.
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05
Tugnen and: Linemen =,
Horseshoers and RIacksmjths.
womer's Union Label League

p1aAf - - -. - ; i p
Program Sat Fairmont Park. Z
Games and races. Z.
Commit teen. J. Harney, w. r.
Perry, L. .Ewald,: J. J.. Mullin, c. A.
Newman. - IN IN - 5Z=s.I :ss. .a@:
Any person winning 2 events win
be barred from other events ..s.s IS =
Program Of Events.
= Event, No. boys Running Race
under 16 years Of age-First Prize,
$1.oo; second prize, 80 cents - f,z
Event No Girls Running Race,
so yard dash FIR girls under II years
Of age: First prize, Is cents: second
prize, 80 cents; third prize s5 cents.
\ Event No. 800 Yard Dash. First
prize, $3.50 second prize, 500; third
prize SO cents. k5 zjg rs y,
Event No. a Three. Legged Race.
First prize, $500; second prize, 800.
4 Event No. 5-100 Yard Dash open to
ALL First prize, $1.0o;. second prize.
80 cents. y .,5 sSg S5siT .5.:sTz,
Event No. eFat Mems j. Race 75
yards. 200 pounds Or over. First prize
$780, second prize, 31.o0. .;.YSa SaS<$s'sisx
Al, Event NO Pile Eating Contest.
First prize, Is cents; second prize, 50
cents. r. s*4t ss @E> ~
/. Event No. 8--Tug Of War. Prize. s..
Dancing afternoon and evening. La
Brosse Orchestra. :s 4: sST$.55.f-<:s
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05
PRESIDENTS SON Is 5,s.
COMING TO DULUTH

hsrmt Hoossvet Will Have 4 Hunt-
ing Trip on the Mssaba Sss5s
+ sS. u.s. =. Ranos. 5
OYSTER BAY, Sept. The pres.
ident's son, Kermit Roosevelt, who
will accompany his father on the
hunting expeqition into the swiids of
Africa. A4Alfi loft Oyster Bay today tor !,
hunt OF his own IN the Northwest.
He will Join John &. Greenway. the
presidents friend and former rough
rider, who is now In charge of the
United States Steel corporation's
mines on the Western Mesaba range,
and together they will hunt over the
big game regions of the Northwest.
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05
TWO BOYS DROWNED.

FARIBAuLT,s Mimi, Sept. Two
boys were drowned IA Cedar lake LAST
evening. They are John 1Arpersso sof this
lake. sudden rust of b wind upset
Into the laks, Q1ie body 81, the Peter
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05

Of
be |
nae,
its
tllaa

icitixensnipysa yk Ationl Nnhorn
will bless stoxs. &
:sErneat shj pnaRted
ciief ;n,srsj a she II Mlll
lie, i iassiyte ,,sls III hsal i D. l a, sssla. s.l
j Issas sa.s .asi eas ( s.s' 6
and sniarch. sslt strssst see-
fior street. tt16en west s> Eig4th ave
nue W., aaid c9uhterma,klng to Kal:
an,azoo buildihk hk then dbband and 60
to Fairmont Fark.} II : -
Position. Of Ur ions in Linz. q. M Mareh.
~ First Division forms d First Street,
between Fourth Anf 1fth avenues
I,shr,..p.na 4
Speaker of thu dk and Mayor in
carriage. III r., & e.. .,
Carriages cont.tnik; city,. council.
Chief 'Marshal,f. /. Peters. >, = s. -,
Federated Tra62s Ass sembly.. :
Newspaper Malers. 49, =, -: ...
+ Steamfitters (. ~. g.. :.
Electrical Workrs.I
Stage Employed :.
Printing, Press}en. --~ =.
Tilesetters. andHelpers. - ..... =. -.
LongehoremensI i ...,.;..~ -
Retail Clerks: ->~,.. ! T..
Musicians.s 81 -
Machfnists. = -..-...... ,,
Telegraphers. - Vs. So.
Boilermakers. ~. =. -: a..
Brewery Works.. .>..>.-. g. ..:s
Plumbers. - h.
Sheet; Metal VFkers. =, -. 90.
Painters. .75l - 49,. -
BARRIERS, No: 6 :. -. t++':stt 4 l.. :. a.:
Team DrdYers:is ~ ..< =.
Building Labofs. !; -. @rs.zaslE =:
Second DivisioI forms on Fifth ave
nue. west, isouthf FIRST street. 7. s..%
Third Regtme1Band. =. .. 49,, -
Marshall McGhh. .:>.A.| = s.. -.r'
Freight -Handlf. - 49,. :,
Butchers. & :. z%*x& :. 49,
Cooks and. .W3ers~- s.:,.,.,.,,, :, ~, r
Barbers and 6fectioners: H.. -. .x,,.,..:... .
Steam Enginas. s. :. ---ss.
United Garm4 Workers. ~. r.
Iron MoldeYs, -. ,,zz s...=s -
Ore Dock Wders. :" = :. S III, T. i T..
Licensed TugEn.a ::$:.:s~
Gigarmakers. :ts:s: 5.|.s ,S.s> &. :, y II. .5S IT. III
iTAilors. 4 .s....s;f: :.s.s .,s .4.5 Il. S.
Third Dtvisio{ forms on Fourth ave
nue. west, nortlbf FIRST street.
Marshall, Ed Lakewood.
BARRIERS, No. ~. E=... J: : zs
I. Typographtca' $sr : ;.z:,ssl 4 e..
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05

That Does Exact JuSuce 70 EV-
cry One Of Them Without
eExaggeration. .
ss..7sss - S
TIE State Central Political Commit
tee, Minnesota State Federation Of
Labor, in reply to a letter OF inquiry
addressed to Samuel Gompers on the
subject indicated by the caption here
of received the following from Presi-s
/ dent Gompers:
S. 81. Senator Nelson. s#.
/ ). AS to the attitude Of Senator Nell
son on the Child Labor Bill, let me-
say that when this bill finally passed
the senate, it passed practically un-
danimously and no record vote was
taken upon its passage. However.
1 there were q number Of amendments
! to the bill considered In the senate,s
among which was one introduced by
/ Senator Nelson, which exempted from
/ the operation OF the law the pages OF
both the house and senate, who might
! be under a years Of age a record
vote was taken upon this amendment
and of ucourse, Senator Nelson intro
ducing it, was reported as voting
I yes . 4ss5zA &
! The bill, as you are aware, only
1 applies to child labor In; the District
Of Columbia and It is far from being:
satisfactory. S.
Other congressmen.
AS to the attitude OF the various
conEressnen from nnesota on,
4
bor, permit me to y say that all Of
them, with the exception Of Congress-
! man Hammondo of the second District.
Eap eanbers OF mai partys
In con sress.
The hrst session of the. 60th congress
has come to b close It is not neces-
sAry to- remind you Of the Injustice
done to: labor by the abuse Of the
beneflcent writ of injunction. We
asked relief at the hands Of congress
by passing the bill known as the
Pearre Bill to regulate and limit the
I Issuance OF injunctions In labor dis
putes and to dime conspiracies. The
| committee absolutely refused to even
report that bill to the house. and
hence no relief for the grave Injustice
done to workingmen was accorded by
congress. .z: t
aA,+;.rr..+ 80, ss
u,,+h,n ~ :. 80 ta,.- ,,,o,+h. ~.
11nt+aa s+a+s. r''aro.sn -" .a,,.. asa,sns s
t1a d sha,sa,a es AntiNT,s+ t c @ ,,u es.uta
,,s,,e -. nro,,astan. -, - a -
nrs,a n,,a4 4,ops that q tha,. - - t,,S,
s1Vie' 'iias 10 na
t,aas 80 ta,,sta % .aa.S,a+,a.a. - -,
~, sntr. o,as ~ ~ restro, ,,,t - trada: +bat s.
the ~ ~ nrse n,zotiona 80 and 4ho noar,ha-s
NAV he f,ned i, 8 the a,,,, nf * ooi, sni,
the he members Of the organization fined
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05

y szs:p. fesss ~ - N, s.,.sS.
II sts 81 VI. 'ttss,sS
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05

THE PAST HISTORY of q, tlsls ,l eoslIsffs 81
=. current Of events al,ss ii
they We're. The enii II ii ui sc
r. = 5lators, and court ii il
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05

- -. "a
1:
azs.ls. Al. I. t'.s ! i:
/ !,
II, {.
sr~7 ssr-s ..syaes ss-s., .srs6s :
s.S
= --'---'
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05

< -,.,5ss y III !, ~. sffsrsfi g., 81
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05

few
aeYs al that have been has flowed solely from what
inheritance
The labor world. [volume] (Duluth, Minn.) 1896-current, 1908-09-05
LABOR DAY COMMITTEE.

. . dAbON DAI COM MIIIE
officers-L.: Ewald, chairman: e. P.
Peters, secretary: - :; -:
Federated Trades Assembly p.
Peters, Ed Blackwood, Frank Hetder-
man, E. B. Uncapher, r. G. Philips.
. Union Labor Pavilion Association
NJ. j. Harney, J. J.. Mulltn,2 w. P.
Perry, Fred McGrath, =. Ewafd:
:. Chief Marshal-H., P. Peters: *
= Aides-F McGrath, Ed Blackwood.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
The Actress Retor+

Georgette Leblanc, the actress. wife
OF Maurice Maeterlinck. was on tour
In a French town, Where the local CON-
pany supported" her in one of her
husbands plays.
But the support was weak and halt
ing. The poets lines were mangled,
and several characters seemed unable
to understand what they were saying.
Nine. Leblanc sought out her man
ager and spoke to him.
"a writer like Maeterlinck should be
treated with more respect"
Madame" he answered, IN. Maeter-
linck is not the first to suffer. So
phocles, Moliere, Racine, Shakespeare.
Goethe and other great dramatists are
daily murdered in the same way"
Possibly, but they are not murdered
alive, at any rate"
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
The Pelican.

The pelican is not an attractive bird
He offends both the eye and the nose
But he is commercially regular in his
habits. The parent birds catch fish and
after eating their fill deposit the others
in their pouches under their bills and
carry them to their young. These
pouches will hold from three to eight
pounds Of fish. They are elastic and
when distended to their utmost nearly
touch the ground. When empty, the
pouch lies close up under the big bill
and is merely mass Of wrinkles. 1t is
this pouch that gives the pelican his
characteristic and disagreeable odor,
caused by particles Of decaying fish.
The pelican's legs are short and strong,
and its feet have large webs. 1t is not
fast swimmer or rapid fiier, but it
is practically tireless in both air and
water. On land it is awkward and I'M
Wieldy.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
ADOLESCENCE OF THE DOLLAR.
Present Unit of Value Has Had Many
Forms and Shapes.

The dollar took some rounding Nor
did it formerly ring true, but, much
alive, simply gave a bleat or below.
Cattle, among country folk, at one
time constituted the dollar, while
primitive man generally made use of
any article sufficiently abundant for
the standard payment of all merchan-
disc, writes R. Holt Lomax in Harper's
Weekly. Thus, in ancient Greece, a
large bronze tripod had the value of a
dozen oxen. A good hard working wo-
man, on the other hand, was given in
exchange for only four such beasts.
When metal took the place of money,
the dollar chung to its traditions, and
coins were still called after live stock.
Thus, "pecunia," applied to metal
money, derived its origin from "pecus"
(cattle). From the custom of counting
heads Of cattle came the present des-
ignation of sum in cash-capital, or
capita" (heads). In Sanscrit, roupa,
(herd, fiock) made roupya, or the In
dian rupee, while the ingots of cleo
trum, or admixture of gold and silver,
when first in use as money, bore the
impress of an OK or COW. Not clumsy,
but too fragile, were the shells in use
as money by the negroes OF Africa,
and throughout ancient Asia, where
the natives, taken by its beauty, gave
the shell a money value.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
Indian Buriais.

The Indian method of burial was to
fasten corpse upon cross sticks sup
ported by poles in the ground or in the
boughs Of the treetops. Here the air
and the elements silently disposed of
the lifeless clay until in year or so
but little remained TO bear evidence of
a tomb, perhaps some broken sticks
in the top and few scattered beads
or human bones beneath the burial
place. l cannot conceive of anything
more pitifully grewsome than an In
dian burial ground of this type. /
have seen them in the fall of the
year, when the winds were shaking
and swaying the platforms and wiring
ing the leafless trees, Haunting the
burial rags like signals Of distress from
the dead and whistling through and
over the whitening bones and neglect
ed remains of those who had many a
time withstood the tempest and storm
when the breath of life stirred within
them.-Army and Navy Life.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18


The poet was favoring friendly
soul with bis last verses, says 8
writer in st. James Budget. The
verses were descriptive of beautiful
girl. The poet read:
Her hair was massed in flowing curls,
The color Of a Whisper
This made the listener "sit I'D"
whats thatr he said. "Read that
again."
Il thought you would say something
about that" the poet answered. 81
don't want to appear egotistical, but
that little phrase gives some scope for
the exercise of the mind"
I'm what way?"
The poet laughed. ->s- 49,.
"Don't you see," he said, chow beau
tifully that describes the shade of her
hair? Every poet speaks of golden
hair or raven locks. To be a success
one must be original. Well, she did
not have golden hair. 1t was nearly
golden, and convey the impression
by means Of that one word"
The other still looked puzzled.
"You have heard" said the poet pa
tiently. that silence is golden?"
EYES," the other admitted.
"Well," resumed the poet, eff silence
is golden what would a whisper be?
1t would be nearly golden, wouldn't
it,"
The poet laughed again. The other
was sitting down and could not stag
ger, so be laughed too
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
Tales of Cities.

It is legal in East Orange, N. j.. to
deliver ice cream on Sunday. but not
bread.
Vienna has $4,000 street beggars. and
many OF them make better living
than workmen.
Value Of real estate on Manhattan
Island is four times as much as that of
the other four boroughs Of the city
combined.
st. Louis was at one time "village
near Chaokia," where mail was re.
ceived by "star route" once a month
provided the weather was good.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
How Frozen Insects Revive.

Experiments in reviving frozen in
sects by naturalist show some sur
prising results. A large cecropia moth,
frozen in the center of a SNOWFALL
until it was perfectly brittle, revived
in twenty seconds when held near a
stove. Several newly hatched 10 moths
revived in similar manner after being
frozen stiff and then thawed out. Sim
liar experiments with ants, butterflies
But the naturalist noticed that recent
ly Matched insects resist cold better
than older ones.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
Culinary conceits.

Stuffed olives chopped fine, mixed
with cream cheese and made into balls
are delicious If served with a plain
salad.
Chicken salad is delicious If mixed
with small pieces of green pepper and
mayonnaise. Press the meat into pep
per cases.
When using stale bread for buildings
always soak it in cold liquid. Bread
that has been soaked in cold milk or
water is light and crumbly. whereas
That soaked in hot liquids is heavy.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
The Orosn.

Like most important inventions, that
of the organ is yelled in mystery. The
invention of the organ has been attrib-
uted to Ctesibius, barber of Alex
andria, about $50 3. c.; also to the
celebrated Archimedes, 900 B. G. 1t
is certain that the organ was brought
to Europe from the eastern or Greek
empire and was applied to religious
devotions In churches about A. d. $50.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
FOR SALE.

Two of the most desirable residence
building lots in Paris. Highest
ground, most beautiful site situated on
cypress street East front, fine local
ity.
One lot 60 feet depth about $50
feet running to Houston creek.
One lot 56.6x200 feet running to al
ley.
These lots will be sold very cheap
Tor the locality. Apply to
CHAS. B. ERRINGER,
o-lm Phone E. Tenn. 345 B.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
The Unappreciative Londor.r.

London is a marvel But we Lon.
doners do not wax passionate over it's
qualities as the enthusiastic French
man does over his Paris. There is
more beauty, more charm, more
wealth, more culture and more art
to be found in London than anywhere
in the world, and we stolid English
people do not really appreciate it,
London Graphic.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18

Gin our Almanac for many years past we
have given unusual advice to those Attic
ted with coughs, colds, throat or lung
troubles or consumption. We have told
them if they.did not receive any special
benefit after the use of one 75-cent size
bottle of German Syrup, to consult their
doctor. give did not ask them or urge
them to use large number of bottles, as
is the case in the advertising of many
other remedies. Our confidence in Ger
man Syrup makes it possible for US to
give such advice. give know by the ex-
perience of over IS years that one 7s-cent
bottle of German Syrup will speedily re,
heye or cure the worst coughs, colds,
bronchial or lung troub1es-and that,
even in bad cases of consumption, one
large bottle of German Syrup will work
wonders. qNew trial bottles, 25c.; reg.
ular size, 75c. At all druggists
g. S. WARDEN & SON. Paris KY.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
An unwritten Law.

The smaller man bristled up.
"See here" he growled, you have
applied two unpleasant terms to me-"
Then he paused and scowled and came
a little closer. 81 just want you to
understand that a third term doesn't
go in this country"
Whereupon the big man drew back
a little and said no more.-Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
To Simplify English.

1t is the vowels which are the great
difficulty OF English pronunciation
We want our vowel sounds standard
Ted for us-all the pronunciations.
with the correct intonations, set down
for US in some Ineligible and easily
understood form.-Country Life.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
Located at Last.

Drummer Settling bill in Eagle
House, Hayfeld)-Pardon my curiosi
ty. sir, but what do you stuff your
beds with in this hotel? Landlord
proudly)-Best straw to be had in this
hull county, b'gosh! Drummer-Ah!
That is very interesting. l know now
where the straw came from that broke
the camel's back Puck.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
Out Of the Hymnbook.

A minister, having given out his no
tees" was about to read his hymn
when he was reminded Of one notice
he had forgotten. Stopping, he made
This announcement, apologizing for his
forgetfulness. Then, much to the
amusement Of his audience, he began
10 line out the hymn as follows:
Lord. what thoughtless wretch
am Ir'-Judge's Library.
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
The Safest Helm.

The best and safest helm for man
is good wife. Give her quarter
Of chance and she will steer him
straight. But don't call her hellum,
as the sailors pronounce helm.-New
York Press
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
Handles Philosophy.

Handel, when the curtain would rise
upon q nearly empty house. would say
soothingly to his associates:
Zach, never mind; the music VIII
sound all the betterr'
The Bourbon news. [volume] (Paris, Ky.) 1895-19??, 1908-09-18
The Genius.

Mark Twain said of genius at
New York banquet:
ga genius, as an old lady in Hanni-
bal once explained to me, is man
what knows more'n he can find out
and spills vittels on his clothes"