The San Francisco call., 1908-07-26
Gossip of RaiIwaymen


Yes. madame" said the accommodate
ing conductor to the lady with an in
quiring mind, this country has q lot
of unwritten history, and If / were only
one of those literary fellows 1 could
write stories that would pull tears
from the eyes of even ticket scalper."
Dear me. This, indeed, must be an
interesting country" she remarked as
she gazed over the sagebrush plains.
That, madame" continued the con-
ductor. pointing out the boundary stone
at Kelton, marks the graves of five
beautiful young maidens who were
slaughtered by Indians. They were tor
tured first and then roasted alive. It
was very painful death. assure you"
And that lonely stone tells of their
pitiful DEATH" she cried. "I will return
in the course of few months and shall
make a pilgrimage to that grave and
adorn It with immortelles"-and she
did.
Representatives of the carriers who
will attend the coming meeting of the
new inspection committee are prepar-
ing for a strenuous time because of
discussions that will arise over a num-
Der of matters that do not seem in
themselves of much consequence, al
(AOu6h TIE surrounding
them are difficult of solution. Some of
the questions and answers are as fol-
lows:
When is a sad iron not a sad iron?'
When it is an electric sad iron"
When is a scrap book a post card
album"
When It is used for fling post
cards"
When is a door bell not door bell?"
When it is an electric bell"
When is a stove not a stove?"
When 1t is an electric stove"
When is duck clothing not duck
clothing?"
when IT is a duck cap"
These answers are furnished by the
inspection department.
The greatest struggle in the coming
convention will be over the important
question:
When is milk can not a milk
can?"
When it is supported by an iron
band"
]. w. Spencer declines to determine
the status or the name of the milk can
when in iron embrace, but is positive
that it will not take the tin can rate.
This delicate question has been re-
spectfully submitted to H. P. Anewalt
for decision, who has retreated into the
country to think over his answer.
There is, however one consolation,
James A. Keller will be on hand to
prove that bolt is bolt.
Agent R. H Countiss of the trans
continental freight bureau has sub
mitted for check circular No. 16 c. COW
ering a list of intermediate Pacific
coast points to and from which rates
to be published in the new transcon-
tinental tariffs will apply. The circu-
lar practically includes all points in
California, and shows the routes to
and from such points. The completion
of this circular indicates that the new
east and west bound tariffs will be
published at an early date.
The Native Sons will hold their cele-
bration in Monterey on September
and yesterday a committee completed
arrangements for special trains and
special rates which will enable people
to spend several days in that town.
The Southern Pacific will assemble
200 coaches to take care of the busi-
ness, which will be extremely heavy
from San Francisco and San Jose, and
large number are expected from the
interior.
Monterey is making ARRANGEMENTS
for the festivities and is preparing
to house the crowd Last year the
travel was so heavy that 1t was found
necessary to impress anything on
wheels into service. Funeral cars aud
baggage cars were turned into coaches.
but this year, owing to the increase
in equipment, the officials of the South
ern Pacific are confident that they will
find no trouble in providing coaches
for all the excursionists.
Achilles Ottinger is back from the
everglades of Florida with q complex
ion unhurt by the ravages of time
or the summer winds of that lovely
state.
Achilles, wander he never SO far,
rarely forgets San Francisco. While
wading through the morasses searching
for the fountain of Ponce de Leon,
avoiding the entangling smiles of mer-
maids and the advances of copperheads,
he came across some alligators, which,
charmed by his looks and above all by
his voice, forsook their moisty retreats
to follow him.
What a nice present they would
make to the park" remarked Achilles
to his faithful follower, Young.
They would" answered Young, as
he ruefully eyed the hideous saurians.
Suppose you catch about one dozen
of them and we will take them to San
Francisco" said Achilles.
How am 1 to do it?" pleaded the
unhappy Young.
How do I know? Amt I the boss?
Do you suppose a boss knows any