davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31

ONlON. highly UlCus pCiASNb
onion. Eastern onion growers use the
red and white Southport Globes to
produce the exceptionally large, solid,
beautifully formed bulbs that bring top
prices in the New York City markets.
Besides the two varieties named,
there is a yellow Southport Globe that
resembles the others in shape and gen
eral character, but is of rich yellow
color.
The white is one of those beautifully
white, perfectly globe shaped onions
that take the eye and bring highest
price in any market. Its skin is thin
and paperl!ke, the flesh fine grained,
crisp and mild favored. Add to this
that it is tremendous cropper, and it
represents almost an ideal product In
its line.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31

Recently at the Iowa Experiment
Station twenty pigs were fed for time
on tuberculosis cows milk that had not
been pasteurized, and twenty others
were fed on tuberculosis milk that had
been pasteurized. The twenty pigs fed
on the raw tuberculosis milk all died
of tuberculosis, and two of the other
pigs died with the same disease. That
showed that pasteurizing the milk gave
so per cent of protection.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31
wants a New Whent.

Prof. Herbert f. Roberts of the Kan.
sas State Agricultural College and Ex-
pertinent Station will visit Europe dur
ing the summer. He is commissioned
from the Kansas Experiment Station
to inspect the wheat regions of Central
and Southern Europe In search of su.
perior sorts of hard wheats for intro
ductiOn into Kansas.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31
A Leok Ahead.

The safe and sane Fourth Of July had
come.
"But how are the boys observing the
day." asked the foreigner. who had just
landed. II don't see any about"
"The boys?" said the native. "The last
Of 'em, sir, were all killed Of one year
ago to-day, and the new crop hasn't come
on yet"
Marveling at the changes times had
brought about, the stranger followed the
crowd to the bail park, where the real
celebration was In progress.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31
The Quin,osnence of nd.

"The gall Of that fellow Stryker!"
"What's he done nowY
"Why, you know, he's chronic bor-
rover, and when told him I'd have
to stop loaning him money now that
l had wife, he went for me hammer
and tongs for getting married at his
Expense. Boston Transcript.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31
Automatic Dump Wagon.

The ease with which modern dump
carts and wagons can be 'unloaded is
illustrated in the automatic dump wag-
on shown in the accompanying illustra-
ton, the invention of a Connecticut
man. The wagon box is pivoted on the
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31
Smoothing Drag.

To break down clods and give g fine
surface the field drag serves a useful
purpose. 1t may be used In connection
with the spring tooth harrow or even
with the disk. The 6x6 inch pieces
are to 10 feet in length and are laid
edgewise, being bound together by cross
pieces made of 11ax6 inch stuff.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31
Within Her Rights.

Madam, what is your age?" asked
the lawyer.
Il decline to answer" responded the
witness.
ION what groundY
ION the ground that it would con-
vict me of lying. I've always answer
ed that question when not under
oath. Washington Herald.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31
You Can Get Aliens root.Ense FREE.

Write Allen S. olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y, for a
sweating, hot swollen, aching feet 1t makes
new or. tight shoes easy. A certain cure for
corns. ingrowing nails and bunions. All drug
yists sell it. 25c. Don't accept any substitute
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31
How's This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
ease of Catarrh that cannot be cured by Ha. l's
Catarrh Cure.
FL. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, 0
We the undersigned, have known f. j.
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe him
perfectly honorable in ali business transactions
and financially able to carry out any obliga
tion made by his firm.
WALDING, KINNAN g. MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo %
Halls Catarrah Cure is AIKEN Internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces OF the system. Testimonials sent free.
Take Halls Family Pills for Constipation
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31

Mod rs will find Mrs. winslow's Soothing
5yruIW lie best remedy to use for their childreD
aurlnk .he teething period.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31
seized Her Opportunity.

He was not very rapid wooer, and
size was getting a bit anxious
Again he called, and they sat togeth.
er in the parlor, 'just those two"
A loud rap came at the front door.
'Dh, bother!" she said. "Who can be
calhng?"
fSay you're out,% said the deceiver.
"Oh, no; that would be untrue" muir.
INJURED the ingenious one.
Then say you're engaged" he urged
fOh, may l, Charlie2" she cried, az
she threw himself in his arms.
the man kept on knocking at
the 5nt tdoor.-Illustrated Bits.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31
Hard to PLEASE.

Eminent Statesman-What are the in
fernal newspapers saying about me now,
Chicksey?
Private Secretary-They haven't men
toned your name for a month, Senator.
Eminent Statesman--Blank dash the
newspapers
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31

CITN St. vltus' Dance aud all Nervous Diseases
IIIN permanently cured by DR.. kllne's Great
Nerve Restorer. Send for FREE s2trial bottle and
treatise. Dr. r. IL Klinc Ld 9S1 Arch ST., Phila Pa.
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31

They are in high fa-
vor in some of the
finest commercial on
ion growing districts
of Ohio and New
York and during a
few years past have
made a steady ad-
advance in standing
everywhere as a
hioh1v hred Derfect
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31
Southport Globe Onions.

Connecticut's famous Southport Globe
onions stand unsurpassed among popu-
lar American varieties of the onion
The Athena press. [volume] (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, 1908-07-31

al the man kept on knocking al
e bnt door-Illustrated Bits.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
A Pair Of contru klds

Did you ever sit on a messy bank
and look at the slrn-ldssed brook as II
nrerrtly dances in glee around tn pro.
truding pebbles and feel glad tina,
you were alive? Well. that is thu
same sensation that you experience
when you go and Sc "A Pair of couu
try Kids" at the Grand Opera House
matinee and night. New Years day.
It is laughing. bubbling pure
neart and home story, When he cur.
tain drops on the lass act you feel as
though you had been refreshed by a
drink of good cool spring water. The
Kids are full of fun and these two
characters alone insure a good per.
Torrance.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
CHURCH VERSUS SALOON.
tBy s. ". Press AaaoeiatIon,)

(By s. ". PreRa ARanciatIon,1
ROANOKE, Va, Dec. 29.-Roanoke's
forty-four churches are arrayed
against the forty-ave saloons of the
city in struggle which means life or
death for the latter. and which will
rulminate tomorrow in local option
election. The closing day of the cam.
paign has been one of the most ex.
citing in the history of Roanoke. Both
the %wets-. and "drysp have waged
energetic campaigns and the result
CT the contest is in doubt.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Big MONEY, AGENTS FREE SAM.
PILE OFFER Q5 days only), bright,
sparkling. famous, SIS Barnatto Simu-
lation Diamond Ring; brillIancy equals
administration battles experts.
fills every requirement of the most
exacting-pleases the NEST Eastidious
at only one-thirtieth tAe cost of the
real diamond. AS means Of introduc-
ing this marvellous and wonderful,
sctntillating gem, and securing as
many new friends as quickly as posi-.
BILE. We are making special induce
ment for the new year. We want you
to wear this beautiful ring. this mas:
ter piece IL mans kanderaft, this
stimulation that sparkIes vita all the
beauty, and flashes with all the fire
Of the genuine diamond. We want
you to show 1t to Your friends and
take orders for us, az 1t sells itself
sells at sight-and makes 100 per
cent. profit for you, absolutely with
out effort on your par We want
god, honest, representatives every
whore, in every locality, city or coun.
try, in fact, in every country through
out the world, both men and women,
yourg and old, who will. not sell or
pawn the Barnatto Stimulation Dia.
mopds under the pretense that they
are genuine gems, az such action
sometimes, leads to trouble or en-
barrassment. II you want a Stimulation
diamond, substitute for the genuine
don't walt-act to-day, as this ad-
vert!sement may not appear again
1rst come first served. For free Sam
pie OffeT, beautiful Ring, Earrings.
Stud or Scarf (stick) Pin, address.
THE BARNATTO DIAMOND co,
Girard Building. Chicago
Mention this paper. Ct
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

PARTNER WANTED = A young or
middle aged man to take half interest
and full charge OF good paying bust.
ness. Liberal salary to start A guilt
edged proposition Why not be indie
pendent and do business for yourself
when less than $500 will make you iu-
dependent of any boss. Investigate
this offer, and your way is opened to
respectable paying employment. Adj
dress Partner" care West virginian
office.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Mrs. Evelyn Sutherland, the play.
wright. died at her home in Boston
as a result of burns caused by her
clothing taking fire from 1n open gas
stove. Mrs. Sutherland was the au.
thor of many successful plays, some
Of which she wrote in collaboration
with Miss Beulah Marie Dix: includ.
ing The Road to Yesterday" which
had its initial production In this city,
She also dramattzed "Beaucaire, for
Richard Mansfield. She was the wife
of the dean of the Boston University
School of Medicine.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
Baltimore & Ohio
Railroad

'Daily. xDaily except SUNDAY. Isun.
day only.
FAIRMoNT, w. VA.
Schedule Effective Nov. %, 1908.
Eastbound.
For WASHINGTON, BALTIMORE.
PHILADELPHIA and NEW YORK,
No. s, 1925 a. NJ: No. Il, 1875 n.
M; No. 4. 1852 p. m. (local to Graf
toni
CUMBERLAND ACCOM-. No. 8, x7:oo
a. m. DAILY except Sunday
GRAFTON ACCOM-, No. ~, '1o:5t
I'm.
westbound.
For COLUMBUS and CHICAGO, No.
Z, 1924 a. H.; No. Il, 1928 p. m.
For WHEELING, No. Z, '2:24 a. m. /;
No. IL, "7:45 a. n. UocaD; No, n.
"l:25 p. M, tlocaD; No. IS. "C:o3
Monongan division.
For CLARKSBURG, leave No. 2,
x7:1O a. m: No. 4. xe-45 p. M; ar.
rive, No. 9. '7:s8 a. No.; No. 5, x4: 40
p. m
FalrmOnt, MOrsantown and Phtsburs
Branch.
For CoNNELLsvILLE and, PITTS.
BURG, leave, No. 1, $500 a. M; M.
8, x7:40 a. M; No. 81, "2:15 p. m;
arrive, No. so, '1:1o p. M; No. 2,
x7:4o p. M; No. 4, x9:4O p. m; No.
6S, !1o:O5 p. m.
For MoRGANTowN, leave, No. SO,
xs:OO p. m; arrive, No. GO, x6:55 a.
m.
PawpaW Branch.
(Daily Except Sunday
Depart, No. 2O1, 500 a. M; No. 2OS
400 p. M: arrive. No. 200, s:55 a.
m: No. 2O2. $40 D. m.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

For fine, old PennsyIvan1a wats.
keys. drop into the Oak Liquor Store
on Pike street. In Clarksburg. Choice
brands at 81 per quart. ExpressSRe
prepaid ON gallon orders at list pricea.
Orders for brandies. wine OF beer for
family or med cinal use given prompt
atte9tion, AN goods guaranteed strict
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

The first performance OF "The Basi.
est Way" with Frances Starr in the
principal role, will be given the last
day of the month in Hartford, ct.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

81, sir" said Mr.. Dustin stax, "am
lie the busy bee. have industrious.
ly stored the good things OF Ilfe.'
Eyes. And anybody who tried to
stop you was likely to get stung."-
Washington Star.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

The women stars of the saubers
will appear in Maxine Eliotts new
the1ter in New York when Miss Ell
lott DIS filling engagements outside of
New York.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
Lost and Found
5f ij W., 215$Z!!!!EEEEEEPPII

LOST : Between the creamery on
Jeckson street and Maple avenue. a
brown, fur scarf, II found please re-
turn to tnis Office. 24.3t
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Knicker-Are you going to give
your boy an unbreakable toy?
Bocker-No. On the contrary.
shall give ntm someth'ae TO burst hi.
drum wlth.-New York Sun.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
GOSSIP OF The sage.

LOtta Faust is to be in the cast of
Havana
A third "Polly of the Circus COM
pany is to go upon the road.
The gross receipts of the Actors
Fund benefit lately were over $4,000.
James o'Neill, Jr., is in the com
pany playing "The Travelling Sales,
man"
Billie Burke is to begin her London
enlightenment On Love watches early
in May
Harry Couor will play the principal
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

First Society wonan-lIss the bust
ness panic affected you any?
Second Society dfuiiy
We are on the verge of starvation
Do come and have dinner with u.s.
Lite.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

"Rumor hath a thousand tongues
quoted the Wise Guy.
Eyes, and they are generally all 30
ing at once" added the Simple Mug
Philadelphia Record.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

The contest over the rights to Eu.
gene Walters plays is in the courts
cohau & Harris claim these rights
and David Belasco, whose star. Fran.
ces Starr, is to appear III one of wal.
tiers plays, is also made defendant
in the suit.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
.Roonas for Rent

FOR RENT Two fuIAisaed rooms for
light housekeeping; S1O.o per month.
ses View street. 2wk
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Photographer = Look pleasant
please.
Sitter-Not on your life! I'm going
to send this picture to my wife, who
is away on "a long visit, and l don't
propose to bring her back.-Judge.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
FAIRMoMr ICE AND FUEL CO
Coal and Ice
ofhee-masonie Temple.
Both Phones.
Hotel Aeeomn,odat1en.
both Phones.

Hotel AeeommodatIen.
any person desiring nrst class hotel
accommodation at Pittsburg either
Doard or room or both will do wen
o confer with 'HoteI'' care West VIZ
Einian oflce. You can save monav
his way. d
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

FOR SALE one 4roonea house, new
with three fonrths OF acre u land; I'VE
uinutes walk from center Of city. on
Spruce street; no city taxes to pay,
price $4,000; half CASA balance on
rent payments. Call = Amos Clay.
tome meat market, NAH avenue, for
particaiats.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

FoR RENT Two rooms and bath,
suitable for Office or light house keen.
lng Over snyder Bros Barber Shop,
Main street. o.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
For Sale

FOR sALE-A small grocery, cheap
rent interests other places calls our
attenipn. a bargain to quick buyer.
Address a. G, this ONCE. If
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Paeoengers' baggage carried o.
cars leaving Fairmont at 600. set
1900, $500, 600 and $500 o'clock.
Passengers baggage carried on ca
leaving clarksburg at 1880, lo:so. 1:ys
4;so. 1880 and 1880 O'clock.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
Miscellaneous
1i ii' Va, 215ll7st55 i VIZ,

WANTED-Etouse cleaning and wash.
ing of all kinds to do. apply to Ches.
ter ca.ltn. R. F. D No. 4, Fairmont, w.
Va. ct
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

The entire English company pre-
senting Kitty Grey" wlica company
is headed by Gtorge S. Hantley. have
arrived on this side. With the com
pany is an English beauty chorus"
of 40.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

male roles with Blanche Ring In ne,
Australian tour.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Paul Potter has adapted for the
American stage a French farce which
has been very successful in Paris.
called "Loute." Dallas Wexford and
Max Freeman are to be in the cast
The production will be made in Feb
ruary probably.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
Though Service
Fairrnont to Clarksbure
FAIRMoNT q cLARkssuRo
TRACTION COMPANY.

Cars leave Cor! Main and JefForsoF
SITS, Falrmont, HOURLY for cIarks
burg and Intermediate Points fror
500 A. N. until 1o:oo-P. NJ.
Schedule Of Interurban Carr, osta
Der q, 1907.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Perhaps It has taken q long 80.
hard isertes Of "circnmstane -
force into being some 81 teasIsu
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Kind 1ady-Are you really and tru-
ly hungry?
Husky Hobo-sure, n,a'am. Why,
Pm SO hungry I'd be within to fiji up
on health Chicago N ws.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

q wish to tell you that I found a
minnow in the milk yesterday morn
ing"
II am sorrg. madam; but II the
cows will drink from the brook. In
stead. OF from the trough. 1 cannot
help lt.n-Harper,s Weekly
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

FOR RENT One room house, Sec.
eld ward. Inquire 8. q. Morris, Wash.
ineton street. TT
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
How About New oatflt Fop Youa

You can afford to get rid Of yer
old furniture. rugs and carpets aAa
replace them with one OF DENHAlgni
new three or four room outfits. TkaN
are complete, economical and eoas
yenient and can't be beat. DenhAm.
can afsord to give you the right lin6
,cf credit. A dollkf or two cash ara
plenty OF time for che naIance. Ne
other store affords such ssasroal
terms. SEQ Denham art
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Geraldine Farrars who sang Srhe
ssarspangled Banner" on the occa-
sion of the laying of the cornerstone
of the New Theater in New York, was
presented by thu directors OF the en-
terprise with diamond pin.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Coz RgNr-one and one Z rOomed
Isonse. 22s Grant St. ]. B. erowl. Ct
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

FoR RENT A few choice ONCE
rooms, Jacobs Building, cheap. Apply
GO: n: Jacobs county clerks office.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

FOR RENT Furnished rooms with
s@th Apply 4e5 jackson street. St
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

FOR RENT Nicely furnished rooms.
~ conyenleEcea. Centrally located.
4A3 Monroe street. II
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

WANTED-T0 borrow money will
pay good interest and give safe. real
estate security. Address p. o. Box
400.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
HOUSES for Rent
N Pm E E EEEIPp

f9Fl RENT-one SIX room rouse, cor.
ner 7th street and Castor avenue. Ap-
III SO Locust avenue. Consolidated
Bhone s52.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

WANTEo-To borrow $500 for 8
years on first class mortgage, at 6
per cent Apply R. this Office. II
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
Help Wanted
/ I'm 'Si SBSIg,r 215IIiRH'IEBIiBll |

GIRL WANTEo-For general house
work; snail family. Address P. o.
Box 1G3. TT
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

WANTEo--t;irl for general house
work. Family Of two. 719 Benoni
avenue. ct
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
IRoonns Wanted

The want ads to more real estate
buslnsss than all other brokers com,
bined IN tact, they start most Of
the business that the brokers and
agents finish.
store VIII NOT gEuw FASTER
Ssettg nearly keep pace.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29
SIG atlons Wantd

WANTED Position ~ bOusekeeper.
Address. MIS-. L, watsoA. u Va. Ct
MED Position is Esveness or
Rpfse girl for small ehHdgea preferred.
address lean, watsoA. ". Va. Ct
~@eeeNass.,S..,laea
Rooms Wa11fad
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

The Pest-1'd like to write some
verses for your paers, What kind o.
poetry do you like best?
The Editor-Typewrltten. darnei
short and paid for at advertising rates
Cleveland Leader. 80
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

FOR RENT " Three unfurnished
rooms Apply corner Jackson and
lginSg streets. II
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

o. Al OhO 4AnOA 1AOA VII
Photographer = Look pleasant
please.
sitter-Not on your lie! I'm going
to send this picture to my wife, who
is away on long visit, and l don't
propose to bring her back.-Judge.
Kind Lady-Are you really and tru-
ly hungry?
Husky Hobo-sure, na'am. Why,
Pm SO hungry I'd be within to fill up
on health food.-Chtcago N WIS.
"Rumor hath a thousand tongues
quoted the Wise Guy.
Eyes, and they are generally all go
ing at once" added the Simple Mug
Philadelphia Record.
Knicker-Are you going to give
your boy an unbreakpble toy?
Bocker-No. ON the contrary. |
shall give ntm somethne 10 burst his
drum wlth.-New York Sun.
First Society wonan-1Tss the bust
ness panic affected you any?
Second Society wOman-Dreadfully.
We are on the verge of starvation.
Do come and have dinner with u.s.
Lite.
81, sir" said Mr.. Dustin stax. "am
lie the busy bee. | have Industrious
ly stored the good things OF life
Eyes. And anybody who tried to
stop you was likely to get stung."-
Washington Star.
"a wish to tell you that I found a
minnow in the milk yesterday morn
ing"
Il am sorry. madam; but If the
cows will drink from the brook. in
stead. OF from the trough. 1 cannot
help it."-Harper's Weekly
The Pest-I'd like to write some
verses for your paere. What kind Of
poetry do you like best?
The Editor-Typewrltten. durned
short and paid for at advertising rates.
Cleveland Leader ~
Mr.. Howard-Isn't it wonderful what
force Niagara has?
Mrs. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. Do you
know. when 1 first saw it for full
moment couldn't speak Brooklyn
Eagle.
His salary is smaller than your
pin-money allowance"
q love him, dad"
That may be, but incomuatibllity of
income often produces friction in la
ter ars."-Louisviffe Courier Jour
nal.
MY Wate VIII never bny any more
cigars for me-"
why not?"
Il insisted upon smokin all of the
last lot in the house. Some OF the
rooms still reek with tf'em."-CIeve-
land Plain Dealer.
"t think our new girl will turn out
all right" remarked Mrs. Suburbs.
Her name is 'Araminta.' YOU know"
We'll aske'f her husband.
Well, we never had girl named
Alaminta' before."-Catholic Stand.
ard and Times.
-----
GOSSIP OF THE STAGE.
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Fob REHT-Four rooms, furnished
81 unfinished, all conyeniences. Ap.
ply e2s Fourth street, Fifth ward. ii
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

Extracting Is easy by Hill Rroas.
methods of removing decayed and un-
disable teeth. All other branches or
dentistry practiced successfully In
their well equipped and comBottGha0
parlor1
The Fairmont West Virginian. (Fairmont, W. Va.) 1904-1914, 1908-12-29

EoR RENT-Two furuisAed rooms for
llgnt housekeeping. Apply 521 Walnut
yense, tssNHEEa