davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

I'm England It's question whether
the Thunderer Will still thunder. Is
the sale of the Times a sign of the de-
cay of the British empire?' asks the
Springfield Republican. Only mod
flied illustration of Jugurtha's re-
mark "A city Ga Tines for sale II it
can find a purchaser
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14
JUST FOR FUN.
Changed His Mind.

We'll, what are you doing there %
asked the lady, addressing a tramp VINO
had just climbed tree in time to es
cape savage bulldog.
Madam" replied the hobo, lit was
my intention to ask for hand-out,
but in the interest OF humanity / now
request that you give any surplus food
you may have on hand to my canine
friend down there."--Chicago News.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

Secretary Taft has pledged the gov
eminent so far as he can. that the Am
erican occupation of Cuba will cease
in the spring of 1909. The Cubans may
regard this simply as an ante election
pledge.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

The Japanese government is trying
not to embarrass the American govern
ment and at the same time save the
amour propre OF the Japanese. In re-
aiity the Amoor proper of the Japan
ese is in Manchuria.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14
Garnets and Graft.

One of the latest stories is that New
York City stands on vast bed OF gar
nets. Investigators doubtless would
have to dig through several layers OF
graft to get at them.--chicago Tribune.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

Schmitz. with decision quashing the
indictments against him, finds it as
hard to get out of jail as Sterne
starting found it to get out Of the cage
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14
Firm a University Town paper.

There is one consolation In the theory
OF Prof. Dodd, of Amherst College.
that the wise men of Mars will soon be
teaching us by wireless nessages-
things than our college professors now
do.--Eugene Guard.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

It viii take more than letter of a
Colorado congressman to Cook the ad-
minlstrations goose.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

There is new superintendent of
waterworks. The o. one who herved
under so many ndss will now be en-
quilted in the water OF oblivion.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

There are no booms for candidates
for Vice President. That is the con-
ISOLATION prize for the candidate that
comes in second.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

Greene and Gaynor begin their pris-
on term at a time when they would be
ending 1t had they not run away from
Justice. says the New York World.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14
What Becomes of Itq

save by
]. Not smokingf
2. Shaving themselves?
3, Teetotaling New York Evenins
Mall.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

In their hearts the school children
wish that there was enough dangerous
disease abroad 10 keep the schools
closed.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

Admiral Evans and his great battle
ship fleet have crossed the equator. But
then Santarem and Escobar crossed
nrst.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

Prohibition goes to bat In the south
IN two weeks more.'' says the Detroit
News. Yes, and the pitcher will be do
ing business, we Milwaukee
Sentinel.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

western judge has decided thai :
sausage consists OF chopped meat.
seasoned All, yes, but what kind of
meat?'--CleveIand Plain Dealer.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

When Governor Sparks and the Me-
vada legislature clash, watch the fire
fly.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

1sn't II rather strange that murder
seems to be the only sure cure for tenn
porary insanity?
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

A Chicago paper claims to have To-
Gated the ideal foot in that city. Is It
something like Trilby'sf
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

There has never been any overcapi-
talization OF charity.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

Mamma, have got to take a bath
tonight Tn afraid you have. my
dear" But I haven't done anything
all the week to deserve Little
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

TO boost coal and food prices is not
the way TO boost your town.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

did you see the Alps?" ooh, yes.
Our car broke down right opposite
them, and do you know, I'm almost
glad II did. found them so charninr
and nteresting"-Puck.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-01-14

Small boy Gin tank OF SWIMMING
school, anxiously)-"Oh, pa; I'VE swa.s
lowed some water! VIII they mind I? =
Punch.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06

these two asparagus lovers to dinner.
Half the asparagus course was pre-
pared with oil and vinegar, the other
half with drawn butter, and on FoD-
tenelles arrival the hostess explain
ed this arrangement to him.
But just as the dinner hour ar
rived there came a pallid messenger
from the Archbishop's house. The
good Arch bishop Dubois was dead.
"Dead?" cried Fontenelle.
Dead the messenger dolefully
repeated
Really dead?' said Nine. de
Tencin.
Alas, yes. madam; dead ire
vocably.' answered the messenger
Then he won't be here TO din
ner. murmured Fontenelle.
Naturally not the messenger
agreed
"Fontenelle leaped Justify to his
feet. He ran to the door and opened
It, Then he shouted across the hall
to the white capped cook in the
kitchen:
'Batiste, all the asparagus with
oil and yinegar!'
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06

swered.
Very good said DIR. Blank.
You find some difficulty in lying
on your back p he said.
- cant lie on my back at all,
sir
And | suppose you are no easier
on the stomach?
~, no.
You see, we require a knowledge of
all these details in order to form a
correct diagnosis So far, so good
He looked at the patient thought
fully
In short said DR.. Blank. you
are most comfortable on your side?'
Yes. sir. That is the only posi-
ton, TO tell the truth, that am able
to maintain
Exactly said the doctor, in
triumphant voice We have have
only to settle upon the treatment.
Here is the case In nutshell:
Either We leave the bar In or We
take 1t out
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06

blindly. They are like the rest of
us; some are for Taft. some for
Bryan But the general opinion Is,
We think, that under Taft the indus
trial outlook, the outlook for work,
would be brighter than under Bryan.
Only a great tidal wave could pos
sibly dislodge the Republicans.
There is no indication whatever of
such a wave. The Republican party
is better organized and better led
than the Democrats. II has COM
pactness the Democratic party knows
nothing about. The Democratic lead
ers do not expect to win. The Cour-
ier-Journal says vote for Bryan: he
can do no harm with the senate Re-
publican. The Philadelphia Record
says it is safe TO vote for Bryan. as
the supreme court will not let him
do anything he wants 10 do. Mr.. In
gals says he will vote for Bryan, but
he praises Taft more highly than he
ever praised Bryan. South Carolina,
Georgia, Virginia, Kentucky and
Tennessee are lukewarm and indif-
ferent, though probably they will
vote for Bryan FOR the last time
There is, as far as our Information
goes, no indication of Bryan vic
tory, and the unexpected has never
happened in a presidential election.
In 1892 everybody but Mr.. Waiter
son expected Mr.. Cleveland's election.
though Cleveland's majority exceed
ed all expectations.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06
IN ASPARAGUS TIME.

Senator Beveridge. at a dinner in
Indianapolis. said during the course
of asparagus:
This asparagus is superb. Its
flavor helps us to pardon Fonte-
nellie
"Fontenelle?" murmured a young
lady, in a puzzled voice.
Yes, Fontenelle,' said the well
read senator. Don't you know the
story? Listen, then.
"Fonrenelle lived TO be hundred
He attributed his longevity to aspar-
agus. AS the consumptives go in for
milk and eggs. he went in for as
paragus-thrice daily-as iong as
the season lasted
Archbishop Dubois had almost an
equal love for the pale. sweet sticks.
he liked them with a dressing OF
drawn butter, but FohtenelIe pre-
ferred vinegar and oil.
Nine de Tencin once invited
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06
PRESIDENTIAL POSSIBILITIES.

! am a straight out-and-out yellow
dog Democrat, but | want political
information and have an idea you
figure elections little more ac-
curately than some of the alleged
wiseacres in town. VIII You pass on
these questions?
II Bryan only lost Indiana in 1896
by 5000 votes, with all of the ma
chinery and Doodle used for McKin-
ley, how can Taft carry the state in
1908 with the whisky interests and
negroes against him?
How can Taft carry Ohio with the
Foraker people and negroes and tine
saloon and whisky interests against
him there?
What will be the attitude of the
men out of work, the 1aboring classes,
generally?
What will be the result of the hard
times?
/ am for Bryan and look for him
to sweep the country
What do you think? I. K. NJ.
First, as to Indiana: Until 1896
Indiana was a doubtful state The
Democratic plurality in 1875 was
5.515. In 1850 the Republican plur-
atty was 6.641 In 1884 the Demo-
cratic plurality was 6,512. In 1888
the Republican plurality was 2.S4S.
In 1892 Clevelands plurality was
7,125.
But in every presidential year
since 1892 the Republicans have car
ried Indiana. In 1896 McKinley's
plurality was 1881, not 5000. In
1900 it was 5,470. In 1904 Roose-
velt's plurality was 1924. On state
issues the Republicans carried it in
1902 by $4,000 and in 1906 by 3d.
900.
Certainly Roosevelt-and Taft
have strengthened the Republican
party, at the expense of the Demo
cratic party.
In Ohio in 1902 on state issues the
Republican plurality was $4,000. In
1903 the Republican plurality was
1852 for governor. In 1890
Roosevelt's plurality was 255,427.
Mr.. Foraker is a shrewd politician
playing for position He could not
throw Ohio 10 Bryan if he tried We
do not believe he would If he could.
There is no place for him outside the
Republican party. As to the negro
Democratic vote, it is largely myth
ical. For every negro vote that goes
to Bryan in Ohio two white Demo-
Gratis will go to Taft
The men ont of work, who want
work. will, We think vote for Taft.
The 1orkingmen follow no leader
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06
BEST STORIES OF A WEEK.
She Must Have Been Trained a Well
as Pretty.

Police Commissioner Bingham, OF
New York, was praising the police
work of the ten Belgian watchdogs
that. recently imported at cost OF
but $40 apiece, have reduced the
burglaries in the neighborhoods they
patrol from ten to two a month.
They work we'll" said the COM
missioner, because they are well
trained. Training. you know, is ev-
erything."
He paused and smiled.
Two physicians were discussing
he said, a certain pretty nurse.
Was she a trained nurseg said
the first physician.
She must have been. replied the
other. She hadn't been in the hos
pital week before she was engaged
to the richest patient.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06
PRETTY GOOD ADVICE, THIS.

Says the Elko Independent: Never
ask newspaper publisher to do any
thing you would be ashamed TO do
yourself. If you think some one
needs roasting" write the article
and sign your name to it. The news
paper man has TO stand for every
thing which goes into his paper UNI
signed. 1t is very easy to go to the
publisher and say. Give il to B.
he deserves it" Do 1t yourself and
sign your name, and two to one you
will tear the communication up after
you read it over
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06

No visitor to the district looks it
over understandings from the min
ing standpoint without realizing that
there is a great deal yet to be done
here and that new ore areas which
will produce largely will be opened
In the camp as time passes 70 add
their wealth to the immense re-
sources so far developed
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06

The great enterprises which have
been built up here to date will not
grow less during the ore life of the
camp, which now looks good for
generations to come. On the other
hand there will be constant increase
in working forces and in equipment
for the otuputting of ore and metal
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06

If you don't feel just right, take
a run to the mines and the reduc-
ton plants The activity and the big
results being attained at these prop
critics will prove better than medi-
cine if you give eye to them It's
a tonic that works quickly and eff
fectively and leaves no bad taste.
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06
WANTED A DAY OFF.
HAYES GREEN PARK HOTEL
First Glass Furnished Rooms
Always Qniet and Elegant.
MISS HAYES, Proprietress.

have unbent a trihe in communicate
ing the news TO his personal attend
ant
Henry" said he, how would you
like TO go with me around the
world?'
DO you go from east to west. SIR"
asked the man.
We do"
And we lose a day going that
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06
THE sPITTEp auToMoBILIsT.

Professor Koch, the famous inves-
tigator of sleeping sickness said OF
an old fashioned doctor at musical
given by Andrew Carnegie in his
honor in New York:
Yes, DR.. Blanks methods were
old fashioned, prosy. pompous. nom
sensical You know, at Heidelberg
they tell story about him--a story
in illustration of his way OF working.
"A man, according TO the story.
fell over a cliff in an automobile and
The White Pine news. [volume] (Ely, Nev.) 1906-1910, 1908-08-06

way. do we not, sir?
I'VE do
Then, sir. should Ike very
much to GO 1t would give me
day on.
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
THE FLYING MAN

rF7HE conquest of the air not yet complete Indeed it
be completed certain and satisfactory way; but
although grave may follow the the object
will be still pursued 1t almost prehistoric dream that
shall fly The who invented the and the prosac brad
ago the subject OF fable OF the
credited him and his with fly land
and until their wings melted by unsympa-
hetic
accident than Icarus who his when
wings his father made failed him half But the
will and if they do others will take the
mechanical device has sprung full
They perfection by slow
We have the bicycle the automobile
telephone grow degrees under the eyes of living genera
The American locomotive very different machine from
the crude and primitive affair that George Stephenson designed
taken about bring its perfection
which imperfect that shortly this big numbering and wastefu
engine discarded altogether in favor of the
rash propesy, but do look much in the
practical for flying machines AS form OF sport with
large spice danger aviation will undoubtedly As
military operations should be useful but the plain
man think OF going up airshp does
going down ina submarine.
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
The Clocks o. London


II all the public clocks OF London be-
haved as well as Big Ben there would
be little need for the efforts of the
British science guild to bring about
synchronization. Big Ben sometimes
stops, but when it goes it keeps ex-
cellent time. During the last year, it
appears, its maximum error did not
exceed three seconds. The exemplary
record is given In the guilds report. In
regard to London 1t is proposed, among
other things, CD to approach the post
master general, to ask that in the case
of postoffices the time signals sent to
the Offices should actually automatic
cally set at least one of the clocks in
each public Office to standard time. and
not merely indicate standard time and
depend upon subsequent hand correc-
tion of the clocks, as at present:
ca to form deputation to the L. c. C.
to ask them to have all public clocks
under them, or in any way under their
influence, synchronized in the same
way.
In addition, the local government
board is to be asked to take steps to
secure the passing of a bylaw calling
upon persons exhibiting clocks publicly
to have such clocks synchronized. or,
falling this, for such clocks to be done
away with.-London News
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
Personal Mention

N. Pope of Santa Cruz is at the Hol-
land.
John A. Gibbons of San Diego is. at
the Stewart.
D.; I. Duncan of New York is at tbt
Mrs w. F. Clayborne of Eureka is at
the Colonial.
G. J. Well Of Buffalo is registered at
the st. Francis.
Hubert v. vaile of London is a guest
at the Fairmont
w. L. Taylor of Canton. O., is a guest
at the st. Francis.
C. P. St. John of Chicago is a guest
at the Pacific Grand.
w. P. Daniels and wife of Stockton
are at the Jefferson.
George E. Pillsbury of Los Angeles is
staying at the Fairmont
Ferdinand Sanford of Palo Alto is
staying at the Fairmont
Norman ". Church of Los Angeles is
staying at the st. Francis.
Mrs. Earl P. Osburn of Los Angeles
is registered at the Stewart.
Mr.. and Mrs E. P. Howard of Los
Angeles are at the Pacific Grand
| Mr. and Mrs. F. E Scott of Sacra-
mento are registered at the Holland.
| C. NJ. Pierce and family of Los An
geles have apartments at the Grand
Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Anderson OF Sac
Z. d. Moring of Stockton and F. NJ.
Lathrop of Ukiah are at the Alexander
| Mr. and Mrs Charles w. Duncan OF
Seattle have apartments at the Colonial
Mr.. and Mrs. Louis J. Loubens OF
Mexico City are guests at the Stewart
! E. H MacGibbon of Venice. Cal. and
party have apartments at the Stewart
Major F. r. Keefe, accompanied by
Mrs. Keefe, is staying at the st. Fran
cis
NJ F. Dand of Monterey and F. Tel
fenthal of New York are registered al
the Baltimore.
Mr.. and Mrs. C. F. Thomas and Miss
Thomas CT Redlands have apartments
at the Fairmont.
F. C. Scott and wife of Sacramento
and 8. c. st. John of Fresno are regis
tered at the Holland.
Edward King and wife of Mexico
| City and Thomas Hughes of Portland
are guests at the Imperial.
G. E. Schilling and wife of Indian
i apolis and Mr.. aUd Mrs. J. H. Spencer
of Chicago are staying at the Hamlin
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20

HHE Irwin brothers. Wallace and VIII
are two Califorrians who have made
good in New York But wniie the''
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
Answers to Queries

SQUAkE-E. T. c., Oakland. Cal.
What is the difference between one
square foot and one foot square?
None.
CONFEDERATE Ado. S. A. Do
any OF the southern states provide a
fund for the relief of veterans or the
confederate states army?
Virginia and other southern states
provide a pension for such.
CLEANING A SKIRT S. c.. Napa.
Cal. What will take the red color
from a white wool skirt produced by
printers ink on a. newspaper, when
the paper was laid on the lap?
The safest way to restore the skirt
is TO place it In the hands of profess
sipnal cleaner. An amateur would
probably ruin the skirt.
BIGAMY-D. E. f.. city. If man
has wife who is irrevocably insane,
confined in an asylum. and he should
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20

marry again. could any one but the
second wife prosecute him for big
amy?
Insanity is not a ground for divorce
in the state of California. The fact
that wife is irrevocably insane and
confined in an asylum does not give
the husband the right to marry again.
II he does, any public officer or citizen
knowing that under the conditions the
man took second wife, he would have
the right to have him arrested for big
amy.
STRAIGHT FLUSH-M. NJ, Sausa1ito.
Cal. A holds Q 8, 4, and of clubs
and b holds ace, 2, 8. 4 and of hearts,
which is the highest?
An ace may either begin or end a
straight flush. If more than one play
er holds straight flush the one headed
by the highest card wins. For example:
Ace thighest), king, queen. knave, 10
is the highest straight flush; 8, 4. 3, 2
and ace Qowest). is also straight
flush and the lowest straight
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
Germany's Population

Vice Consul James L. A BurrelI
writes from Magdeburg that the popu-
Iatfon of Germany at the middle OF
the present year, as just published in
the yearbook of statistics of the Ger
man empire, amounted to 3.017. 900. in
comparison with 62.097, 900 at the mid
die of 1907 and 61.177.0o0 in the middle
of 1906. The increase for each OF the
last years was estimated at $4,000 peo-
pie. At the last census. December I.
1905, the population OF the empire
amounted to 60,641,27S, so that from
that time an increase in round num-
bers of 2.375.0O0 has taken place In
1898 the population in round numbers
stood at 81 406, 900: in the last 10 years
there has been an increase of about
S.160.000 people. or los per cent. In