Bisbee daily review., 1908-07-22
Curinu the Fever.

| Are yer innards sort O sluggish And yer trilbies clammy cold? | Hey you nervous fits an watkins In tn middle O tn night? | It's tn April fever comin With its springtinae appetite! | It's tn blamedest kind O sickness Thet a feller ever had! l T ain't no difrence who's yer doctor IL will git yew gist as bad. l It is surer thing than babies Er tn mortgage on tn farm, An you've got t quit an tend it Er tn ,thing'H do yew harm! You can't fight it down ner kill 1t; | Sassafras don't do no good. All tn squills an sugared sulphur In tn kingdom never would. It's a case of go an dig it Out behind tn barn CT shed And scootin' | tn river. When tn sun is sinkin' red! It's a choice O fish CT fever If you're sick go out an play Where tn Zephyrs sort O cool ye, By tn brooks glad roundelay. Where tn buds is bustin' eager And tn basque flower mods it's blue | You will Ind bracin' tonic That'H put new life in you! Breathe it in, b'gosh. an snir 1t, Fill yer lungs an run and shout. Its elixir of the country, And it knocks tn fever outI Drugs ner nothin' else won't touch It. You have got t steal away l Where tn zephyrs sort O cool ye, By tn brooks glad roundelay! G-S-9 Old Man Haskins.
 Old man Haskins knew what was H but Mrs. Haskins was not so penetra. tive. At any rate, F1orentia was "all run down" and nervous. She screamed when the cat jumped of the chair be hind her, was afraid of burglars and moths and wept dolefully when the Italian peanut peddler went by with his shrill steam whistle It was when Old Man Haskins paid his gas bill that the light of intelli- gence penetrated his head convolu. tions and put him next" as the slang parlaDce is. Then he recalled several little incl. dents along about midnight and 2 a. m. that heretofore had merely disturbed his rest. That was why Haskins
 
 mediately and, incidentally, that is why after a solemn conclaye, there was much chuckling on the part Of two old cronies and a glass or two of something old from the cob-webby re zion underneath the residence.
 The young man was much surprised next morning to receive a sudden sum. mons from the head of the firm to go to a distant state for a month.
 There were tears and more nervous ness up at Haskins' house that night but he went, at last, just as the chick ems were growing for a poets sun rise.
 When he arrived day later al S- and received among seven let ters from Florentia, one ip a bold business-like hand, the cruel wretch opened that first This Is what 1t said:
 My Dear Boy:
 q have just been wondering If young people don't have it worse now than they did when I was fin my adolescent age?
 Anyhow. the gas bills seem to be larger!
 You will be absent a month, your father tells me, during which time ] hope to keep Florentia in bed most Of the time calculate she will be about even if she snooZes twent-two hours a day for thirty days!
 During this time, also, I have ar ranged to have your bed moved from your fathers house to our house and will speak to the county clerk about the license that he may know when he sees you coming what 1t is you want most on earth, and not sub jugate you to embarrassment.
 As I have no particular objection to you as a son-in-law, and expect to feather your nest slightly until you have given evidence of desiring to move to one of your own, I hope, in the future, that you will, out of re spect for me, be little more careful of the gas!
 If have to marry my daughter to rescue her from being loved to death, I am your future and affectionate father-in-law,
 JASPER HASKINS.
 Well, I'll be," but the young man didn't finish the sentence. On the contrary he walked down to the telegraph ofice and wired Florentia:
 Home on the midnight express. Meet mel"
 When Old Man Haskins saw the telegram and noted the hour of arrival he finished the aforesaid ejaculation and then hurried down to the county clerks office on important business.
 9-S-0
 Classified.
 Irate Citizens. to Judge-"He called me boiled lobster!"
 Judge, eyeing prisoner carefully "TlI fine him $l0. don't see anything