Evening times-Republican. [volume] (Marshalltown, Iowa) 1890-1923, 1908-07-17
Topics of the Times.

| Willis j. AbbOl, the pest dusSi liseu
| of all the Bryan boosters, said that
Johnson would not get the nomination
| for the presidency nor for the vice
presidency nor would he get anything
| at all. Abbot was right. But johnson
| is Just as well off for the nomination
! is like an egg with the contents blown
out.
| Seaborn Wright refuses to be a
prohibition candidate for president
But anyway, we cannot doubt that a
man with a first name like that is a
| consistent believer in cold water doc
trine.
President Meyer, of the Western
Federation of Miners, says he believes
industrial unionism is not popular and
| is not wanted by the working class OF
the United States. This is certainly
novel announcement to come from
such a source. He might have drawn
| a distinction and stated that orderly,
sane unionism is the only kind that
can have a permanent and honorable
place in this country.
| Nearly every time there is a contest
| to secure the next state convention OF
anything, some town meets its Water
loo. That city has about half a dozen
| good gatherings scheduled for the next
thirty days.
At West Hazelton, Pa, Charles Hen
nv swallowed 10 inch table knife
with a six inch blade. We respectfully
call this fact to the attention of Jacob
f. jacobson, Madison, Mimi, republic
can gubernatorial nominee; and sug-
gest that he have a chain put on his.
| Vice President Fairbanks will call
on the Prince of Wales at Quebec next
Wednesday, but we suppose he will
wear his Prince Albert coat.
| One Of the presidents daughters is
! to make her debut at the early age OF
II. This is no doubt due to her desire
to blossom from the White House,
where the Roosevelt tenure will end on
March next. The distinction be-
tween being the daughter of a presi-
dent and of an ex-president amounts
almost to difference.
A tragedy in four acts from the New
York World:
9 "a M.-Conspiration (sun and hui
midity.)
| - M.--Perspiration
3P. M-Inspiration decd drinks ad.
lib.)
P. M.-Expiration.
Curtain.
Some time ago the Times Republic
can commented to the effect that the
number of assertions from the navy
when the fleet stopped on the coast.
which had been reported at 1000, was
probably exaggerated and that the
strength and efficiency of the force
would not be impaired. The actual
figures are now reported as 120 deser-
lions out OF 10000 men on the fleet,
bearing out the conclusion offered by
the T.-R. at the time.
At Waterloo a vaudeville performer
whose act is to saturate his clothes
with kerosene ignite them, then slide
down wire, was badly injured and
had to cancel his engagement for next
week. which was to loop the loop on
bicycle and the engagement for the
week following, which was to jump
from a 100 foot tower. The chap who
does all these fool things doesn't de-
serve much sympathy when he gets the
worst of it. A fellow who leaps the
gap on roller skates and turns a SOM
ersault en- route is in the hospital at
Cedar Rapids from an accident, too.
It seems Impossible to turn such peo-
| pie into pursuits more sensible
The Burlington Gazette is willing to
let the whiskers of the vice presiden-
tial candidates decide their popularity
and says for each voter to give his ball
lot to the one wearing the style of
wind teaser he approves, concluding
that the democrats will win every
thing hut Wall street. This SUCCESS
ton Of letting tonsorial taste decide
the ticket is surely new.
Hal Chase, the famous first baseman.
was advocating teetotalism among
ballplayers. He argued well, and in
| the midst of his argument he told a
story.
.Lerby vigors, friend Of mine" he
said, t'turned up to play in an amateur
game with a skate on.
"When Vigors stepped up to the bat,
he smiled silly smile and said to the
umpire:
"I see three bats an three balls
here. What am I to-hic-do?
| ".Hit the middle ball." said the UNI
pire.
"But Vigors struck out.
"'Durn We, Vigors,' said a coach,
why didn't you hit the middle ball, like
| the umpirel told your
"I did, says Vigors, with an in
jured air, only hit it with the-hic-
| outside bat "-Washington Star.
IOWA OPINIONS AND NOTES.
"The tendency of the times Is to