The new South-news., 1908-02-08

REFLECTIONS AND SUGGESTIONS
THAT WILL NOT COME
AMiSS.
The Bridegroom 10 Passing Prodigy
Of Himseif q Walking eestitude Of
Joy and Satisfaction-A Bond That
IL Altogether Admirable.

- Aisooether Admirable
The bridegroom Is the only secular
man In this world ~ho enjoys a sense
OF absolute perfection In a sudden
excess OF happiness he assumes all tho
virtues aad rraces there are and thus
establishes a purely romantic relation
10 Heaven. lie is passing prodigy
81 himself. walking beatitude OF Joy
and satisfaction In short. person
to be profoundly cIstrusted. not be-
cause he is insiacere or dishonest. but
because he Is the iincal descendant OF
mortal man. not of gods. and is there
fore the Inevitable heir OF thousand
shortcomings. And every bride should
be on her guard against accepting this
edition de luxe Of human frailties as
scriptural He is simply passing
through Song OF Solomon phase. and
may develop into jeremiah or be-
come the author OF her matrimonial
Ecclesiastes before she has done with
him But the shrewdest deception
ever practiced Is seIf-decep;ion: and.
as rule, the bridegroom Is SO entirely
self-deceived as TO be absolutely con
vincing 10 the bride. who is herself in
a frame OF heavenly minded credulity.
so that his very confessions OF faults
seem to her the noble prevarications
OF an over-conscientious nature. But
really this is his instructive masculine
way of hoodwinklng her For there is
no surer way Of winning woman's
confidence than for a man to confess
himself unworthy OF it. His humility
magnifies all his virtues and at the
same time challenges her credulous
generosity to match them with the
doves wings OF her maternal tender
ness and compassion 1t is a charac-
feristic and beautiful way she has OF
proving her own superiority. For II it
Is unseemiy that she should be the
honest and humbly confessed sinner
that it is his nature to be. IL is her
altogether. lovely feminine grace OF
forgiveness.
But 1t is one thing to Indicate her
pretty moral distinction by absolving
new and interesting bridegroom OF
his bachelor sins, and quite another to
bear with the faults of a tried and
proved husband. For, once he mas
worn out the honeymoon hexameter
OF life. no man is more OF the earth
earthly both In his faults and virtues.
than the husband And he can come
nearer practicing the commonplace
from years end to years end than any
other creature living. He has long
passed the sentimentality of confess
ing his own frailties. but his wife has
no difnculty In ,detectips them for her
self. That Is the pity OF it. Having
settled upon the idealism and spiritu.
ality OF love. there is a sort OF gross
ness from her poiat of view in the
way he gives up his pretensions to
godlikeness. Also. feeling that orig
inally she constituted a large part Of
the poetry in the situation. she resents
the silence OF his gallant chorus to
her charms. In truth 1t would be cas-
Ter to forgive him a sin than this apos-
tacy from the altar place of love. He
began with the advantage OF admit
ting his own imperfections and pro-
her projections. so that she
was indiscreetIy led to assume the
guardian angel pedestal. only to find
that he did not feel the need Of
angel often enough to give
her much dignity In the once
Meanwhile the bridegroom has
troubles OF his own. Being just mas.
culine and nothing more. ne lacks the
intuition and Imagination to compre-
hend the eccentricities of the female
character. He finds difficulty in ac-
cepting the paradox that a woman is
more intelligent than rational. There
is an eternal chasm between her and
her mind which even she cannot span.
An astute lCgician often on abstract
subjects. she cannot focus her mind
upon the riddle OF her
own nature. And SO when it comes to
the difficuIties OF her personal rela-
ton with him, what she can be made
to think has nothing to do with the
matter. but what she feels has every
thing to do with It! for a woman's
feelings are always infal,ib.e. so far
as she is concerned.
The truth is. when we consider the
femperamentsl differences with which |
people begin. the increasing
strength and beauty OF the bond as
they grow older is altogether admir- |
able. And in view OF this fact, newly |
people may take courage and
that their perpiexities with |
one another are not so tragic as they |
seem.
The solution of the whole matter.
10 far as It can be stated in general |
terms. Is for the wife to abstain as |
much as possible from letting her hus-
band know that she has discovered |
his real imperfections not the pecca-
iilloes he nobly confessed to but |
hose perversities Of personality which |
make it so difficult for her to manage
nothing 40 tempts 4 man
70 sulk back to the brute level ~ for