The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-03-23

his colleagues on both sides Of the Senate
chamber. He is always brim fun Of
quaint and interesting stories that gener-
ally have some local application 10 cur
rent situations. .Scotty" as the late
Mark Hanna used 70 call him. has. If re-
ports be authentic. provoked many a
hearty laugh during the sacred executive
sessions OF the Senate by his blunt and
original humor.
Not long ago the junior Senator from
West Virginia felt constrained 10 oppose
the confirmation Of one OF President
Roosevelt's nominees at an executive ses-
sion OF the Senate. Mr.. Scott made quite
a long speech. giving his reasons why he
thought the man should not be confirmed,
bit ne stated frankly at its close that he
realized that his opposition would be fu-
tile
The situation reminds me-" he said.
''of a case that was being tried by a JUS
tice OF the peace our IN West Virginia
The attorneys on both sides took q long
time 20 present their arguments. Finally,
late in the afternoon. the justice. who
! had been idgeting IN his chair, pulled out
his watch and said:
- Gentlemen. II is now my supper time
Ny doctor requires me 20 be regular in
my habits, and I shall. therefore. now go
home 10 my supper: but. gentlemen. he
added. with draWl, you can keep right
on with your arguments. When you are
through you viii find my decision in the
top drawer OF my desk here
Representative J. Sloat Fassett. Of the
EImira, y. Y. district, received a request
from a constituent 70 interest himself in
getting her a pension. II is a cold and
dreary day when every Congressman does
not receive at least one request OF this
character: usually they run into the doz-
ems but this particular request was out
OF the ordinary class:
The applicant based her claim for
pension on the ground that her father
had been a soldier. but she could not tell
what war he had fought In, whether the
civil. Mexican. or war OF 1872, neither
could she supply the exact name under
which he enlisted.
Mr. Fassett wrote The lady a polite
note, saying that il would be necessary
for him 10 have some more definite in
formation concerning the soldier before
he could present the case 10 the Com
mission OK Pensions. In due time he re-
/ ceived the following reply:
My father" the fair correspondent
wrote. was OF medium height. had black
hair and eyes. de could not close one
eye without closing the other. and didn't
know anything about music. think
that this ought 20 be sufficient identif-
cation for q pension"
Although the Ways and Means Com
mittee is the ranking committee OF the
House. and its chairman is the leader
t Of the majority on the floor. the sessions
Of the committee. except when a tariff
Dill is being framed. are not very ex-
citing events A day was set for q hear
ing recently before this committee on a
matter OF local important to some New
York importers Most OF the members
/ OF the committee had been OJt very late
the night previous attending an impor-
tant social function and they were not in
as wide a wake condition as they might
have been otherwise. AS the hearing
progressed, several heads were observed
| 20 nod and sounds greatly resembling
shores foated out into the atmosphere.
Selling a big book, Representative
Champ Clark. of Missouri. brought it
down on the table with loud bang
Mr. Chairman he exclaimed. 4 move
that this hearing be suspended until the
committee wakes up
Chairman Payne raped for order and
ali the members OF the committee remain
ed at strict attention during the balance
OF the hearing.
Last December when Speaker Cannon
was wrestling with the committee assign
ments Of the House. a member from a
Western State brought a prominent man
on 10 washington 10 make a plea TO
Uncle Joe In his behalf The visitor had
never met the Gear OF the House but
he was OF sufficient prominence polti-
caliy 10 give HIS recommendation weight
with the Speaker.
The night Of his arrival the member
took his distinguished friend 10 q White
House reception. They got separated
soon after entering the building and did
not meet again until they were getting
ready TO leave.
Well" said the guest. Il met Uncle
Joe and gave you a good send of: fairly
pumped him full Of hot air about you.
Told him you were a coming man, bound
TO make your mark In Congress. &C. I
tell you put it to him strong"
! Thanks but-er- said the Con-
gresham doubtfully. II understood that
Uncle Joe was not here tonight. I have
been looking all around for him.
why. yes he IS" said the members
friend quickly, he is standing over there
now" pointing to tail white haired
man who stood talking TO the British
! ambassador.
THAT isn't Uncle joe said the men,
Der in a tone Of deep disgust. that's
Uncle Shelby Cullomr'
A Georgia member Of Congress received
the following letter from a constituent
the other day. which he forwarded
promptly to the Secretary Of Agriculture
1t viii be noted that the writer OF the
letter is a disciple OF the reformed spell
ing cult:
Dear Mister Kongressnan," the cor
respondent began, "sum time ago. writ
yu. asking II there were anythink the
guvrnment cud do 10 make a fiten wife
behave herself I amt herd from yu
and things is no better
VIII yu please let me no II you can
/ git me one OF them pizen snakes from
India at the Cultural Department.
hev alters voted for -yu and this is mltey
little to ask"
A pair OF squeaky shoes nearly upset
the stately dignity Of the United States
Senate few days ago. The owner OF
tbs offending shoes was no less a cele-
brflted parsonage than the senior Senator
from the Palmetto State, Benjamin R.
Tillman. The scholarly Henry Cabot
Lodge. Of Massachusetts,. was in the
midst Of an eloquent speech il favor Of