Bisbee daily review., 1908-09-22
MORE GLORY
GAINED FOR
UNCLE SAM
YarneII Abroad Recalls the
Thrilling Adventure With a
Badger in Douglas in the
Long, Long Ago.


stump crack and see the bark fly off
under the tremendous weight of logic
which our ponderous Samuel is hurl-
ing in big triangular gobs athwart the
atmosphere. We understand that the
forest resources in the east have
.dwindled till the national campaign
committee found it necessary to i'm
port carload of stumps from Mon
tana, They had better get the red
wood variety while they are about it,
for nothing smaller would be safe UNI
der such a strain.
Now, the heart of every Arizonan
throbs with exultant pride as he con-
templates our Samuel poised on the
base of "slip'ry ellum," or a shell
bark hickory, slipping his profound
conclusions quietly into the hearts
of the masses in the "effete east" or
Smelling the Republican stronghold
with forensic chain shot. We never
dreamed that little old Arizona should
be able TO turn out political Moses
TO lead the faithful out of this Re
publican Egypt.
We had concluded that the day of
miracles was over, and the practical
alone could prevail. but, again. We are
admonisned, that miracles never cease
for we have supplied the deliverance
of the G. o. P.
Again we rejoice with Samuel in his
good fortune. We do not know ex-
actly how much the Republican man
agement gave him f. work for Mr..
Bryan, but it was a mastery stroke
at any price, while on the other hand,
We see him reach down into the Demo
cratic campaign "bar'T' for two plunks,
three meals and dimes worth Of
"spittin' tobacco" per day, and trans
portation.
With gushing joy do we observe a
three dollar meal ticket peeping eau
tiously from his upper right hand vest
Ipocket, as Samuel pounds the minions
of a strutting administration into i'm
palpable dust. We see him arrayed
| in suit of "boughten" clothes, which
seems disinclined to become acquaint-
ed with him. We see him drag the
time-honored bandana from his coat
pocket and wipe" his Socratian brow,
the while he is leading the old Demo
cratic mule through the intricate pass
age of the Red Sea of deliyerance.
We now see that mule prick up his
ears and begin to feed on the alfalfa
of prosperity. instead of the garbage
OF defeat. o. what wonderful man!
And then we FeEc-t2-, that years ago,
when he was still obscure, he demon
strated his Hectorian prowess by bold
lily unf1inching, and with Acnillian
strength pulling badger" out of a
bari" in Douglas, Arizona. o, how,
even yet, ones blood tingles and the
memory of that heroic act causes wild.
glorious emotions to surge through his
heart as he reflects upon the manner
in which Arizona's Arnold Winkeleid
! threw himself on the impending peril.
Now this particular variety of badger
seems to have worse temper in Ari-
IONA than in the east. He is of the
lstripped variety usually, the total abb
sence of hair would suggest hydropho-
bia, while his breath is not always I'M
improbable.
! Your contributor mas one of these
badgers which is 70 years of age, hav-
ling become an heirloom in the family
and it is still well preserved; they are
a thing of supreme utility in certain
emergencies but are usually verYhigh
tempered, and the moment that our
Samuel grasped that piece Of sash cord
which had wooden handle on one end
and a badger on the other, all eyes
were strained and all hearts stood still
awaiting the desperate result.
| In Imagination we have seen Manlius
on the Tarpian rock; we have seen
the Immortal Caesar boldly combing
the turbid waters of Rubicon creek
with his dimpled toes; we have seen
Leonidas calmly swigging beer in the
somber shade provided by the arrows
of his obliging friend. General Xerxes;
we have seen Andy" Jackson at Moo
Orleens;" Butcher at Waterloo, Ney
at FriedlaDd, Dessaix at Marengo, Ma
poleon on the bridge of Lodi, and have
| caught a glimpse of Mark Bozarris
as he wiped the earth up with the
"Unspeakable Turk" but never before,
or since, have we observed such an in
stance of God-like heroism as Uncle
Sam produced when he spat on his
hands, grasp that cord, said, Good
bye, boys, if / don't get through alive
you will meet me in Heaven along with
Tom Jefferson and all the other inn
mortal Democrats who have gone be-
fore" And with this he spit out his
tobacco, squared his chin, clinched his
teeth, shut his eyes, and jerked!
Say, he yanked that badger clear
across the room and broke it into the
traditional ten-thousand pieces, one OF
which fell in your contributors lap,
and is kept as a sacred souvenir OF
that indescribable piece of human
nerve.
Mr. Taft is not a bad American
and we prevailed on Uncle Sam before
he left Douglas to not beat him any
more than necessary, save his feel
ing, for instance, by giving him one
fourth Of the electoral college, just
complimentary, you know.
1t is POWERFUL lonesome out here
without Sam. He could talk, could
Sam, and what's more, Sam knew it
and If he ever permitted that heaven
born faculty to rust, it wasn't In
douglas.