The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1908-01-14


They tell me-" said the new re
porter, who was doing an interview
stunt, that you have succeeded IN
forging your way to the front"
Sir" replied the self-made man
coldly, you hare been misinformed
I'm no forger."-Chicago Daily News.
Mr.. Wyss-My dear, 1 wish you
would arrange your hair the way you
had it last evening.
| Mrs. Wyss-Oh, Justini I simply
can't do that. II completely changes
my appearance.
| Mr.. Wyss QUIETLY am fully
aware of that, my love.-Judge.
Mr. Stoplate-I wonder if Miss Her
sleep meant anything by it?
| Mr.. Soandso-By what?
Mr.. Stoplate-Well, when / was call.
| ing on her the other night, / said that
could sit forever and listen to the
muisc of her voice. And after that
she let me do all the talking.-Cleve-
land Leader.
There's but one crop that seems to
boom
| And flourish without fail,
Regardless of the tardy spring
Or winters blighting hail;
This world-old crop of youths wild
oats
Grows well most anywhere.
| New York Press.
'Doin' any good?" asked the curl
Gus individual On the bridge.
ANY good?" answered the fisher.
man, in the creek below. why,
caught forty bass out o. here yester-
day"
Say, do you know who 1 ann
| asked the man on the bridge
The fisherman replied that he did
not.
Well, / am the constable, as well
as the county fish and game warden"
and NJ. D. B. exhibited a badge.
The angler looked up in astonish-
ment, and then, after a moments
thought, exclaimed, "Say, do you
know who / am?''
NO the officer replied.
well, I'm the biggest liar in East
ern Indiana" said the crafty angler,
with grin.-Noyember Recreation.
A young fellow in Pittsburg intend
ed to ask her fathers consent the
other evening but changed his mind
ne has decided to wait till the old
gentleman is disabled from fall on
the ice, or till something equally pro-
pitious turns up. It happened in this
way:
When he reached the house the
girl met him at the door, pearly tears
stealing down her fair cheeks.
oh, George" she whispered, 81 am
so glad you have come. Please go in
the library and see if you can calm
father-he is so excited, and Is raging
about, knocking over the furniture
and breaking things"
Certainly" George said briskly.
What is the matter with the old gen.
tleman?"
I'm sure 1 don't know" she said.
He was all right, and I just began
to tell him that you wanted to marry
me. "-Lippincott's
Miss Laurence Alma Tadema, the
famous English painters daughter,
talked at dinner in New York about
happiness. On this subject the bril-
liant young lady is an authority.
They are not happy" said Miss
Tadema, who long for things they
should not have. / heard the other
day Of woman in this class.
She is bankers wife. and the
hard times here have Strengthened her
husbands resources not little. Hence
the coming of Christmas, with its cost
ly gift-giving, has worried the poor
man greatly.
-,At dinner the other night, he said
to his wife with feigned unconcern:
Brownstone, 1 fancy, won't spend
money at his accustomed rate this |
Christmas. | wonder what he'll give |
Mrs, BIZ
81 happen to know was the
quick answer.
DO you? What is it then?'
"A set OF Russian. sales and a |
Limousine car. You see.' said the |
lady significantly, Mr.. Brownstone /
asked my advice and l told him what |
should like myself New Orleans
otates.
William ]. Bryan, on his last visit
to New York, declined to answer one
Of Washington correspondents
questions. Il shouldn't know my
business if answered such ques-
ton as that" said Mr.. Bryan Every
one must know his business: other
wise failure follows; and I'm sure you
wouldn't want me to fail like the
Young salesman of fountain pens.
There was. you know, a young foun-
ain pen salesman who, to his great
oy, succeeded on his first trip in per
'uading stationer to order 5000
lens. But all of sudden the sta
toner's manner toward the young
nan changed. 7 couptermand that
,rder,' the stationer barked, and hur-
led into his priavte ofiee, slamming
he door behind him. Later In fheI
ay his bookkeeper said to the sta
Toner: May I ask sir, why you so
uddenly countermanded your order
Dr. those fountain pens?' The young