davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-01-08

too. most of them. Now, seeing / have
been running newspaper myself for
the past fifteen years, had glimmer-
ing sort of an idea when / drifted in
here today that possibly knew some
thing about the business, but l find
was mistaken. I'm only a jibbering
idiot in the newspaper business, from
the Argus standpoint, and, having
bought the paper, I've got to start In
at the bottom and learn the trade all
over again from its highly accomplish
ed and courteous staff. Good joke CD
me, MIR. Blake, isn't it?'
Barney-not to mention the rest of
the Argus staff-looked as If it would
be a great relief to him at that mo-
ment if the earth were to open and
swallow up the entire blishment.
"W-why-er-who-w are you?" he
stammered uneasily.
II? Oh, I'm nobody much. I'm only
Uncle Horace. the old hayseed that
dropped in on you a few minutes ago
to take lessons in Journalism and the
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-01-08
CAUSE eRAMPAs SEEN IT MANY A TIME.

AT Alferd Brown, at lives mex door
To US, don't like him, 'uhcause
He say at he don't think no more
AT there can be Santa Claus, :
But erampa whisper in my ear
AT Santa will find me all right,
Cause he has seen his sleigh an deer
An pack O. pIaythines many night.
My erampa knew Boy Blue an all
TIL children at live in tn shoe.
When Humpty Dumpty had at fall
He's standn' close as me an you!
An he say list to don't buhIieve
Tn folks at say there amt no chime
O. reindeer bells on Christmas eve,
Cause he has heard 'em many time.
Chicago Tribune.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-01-08
Feast to 1,4oo Newsboys.

At the forty-sixth annual dinner Of
the Newsboys' Lodging House, IA New
Chambers street, New York city, 1,400
newsboys and their guests were serv-
ed with Christmas turkey. The ban
quet was given by William M. Fleiss,
following an observance by his father,
who entertained the newsboys each
Christmas for forty-three years.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-01-08
From the YuIetide Cynic.

TTV-TI IIIS UICIIUS NyTICs I
Thank heaven, it isn't only the aris-
tocrat who can have a family tree at
Christmas
Be Christmas white or Christmas green,
It's all the same to you
If Christmas finds you all serene
And doesn't make you blue.
1t doesn't take a magician to trans
form a small boy into a turkey COB
bier
When Santa Claus comes down the
chimney he chases many man up the
spout.
It's the vanity of the seq that
prompts the female turkey to wonder
how she is going to be dressed for the
Christmas dinner.
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-01-08
What Did She Tell Him?

Mabel-That near sighted Mr.. Wheth-
emo actually asked me on Christmas
night if the wreath of wintergreen in
the parlor was mistletoe.
Alice-What did you tell him2
Mabel-Why, what could II 4
The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-01-08

proprietor Of the Argus emerged from
the inner sanctum he found a rather
solemn looking crowd awaiting his ap-
pearance. and Barney BlaBe's erst-
while smiling countenance was the
most sepulchrally solemn of them all
as he stepped forward and gravely
handed him a folded document
Opening it. Mr. Hayden read as fol
lows.
Major Hayden:
Dear Sir-We have had our innings. and
it is now your turn. AS the future pro-
prietor of the Daily Argus you doubtless
will not care to retain in your employ the
staff of long cared, unmitigated donkeys
now connected with the paper and we
herewith hand you our designations. to
take effect Immediately. together with our
apologies for the objectionable treatment
received. by you at our hands this after
noon.
This note was signed by Managing
Editor Blake and the other members
of the Argus staff, and below the sig
natures was the following postscript:
p S-The boys were bound to share the
blame equally with myself and hand in
their designations with mine, but as I am
the head of the Office and the others took
/ their cue from me / feel that / alone
should shoulder the responsibility for
what occurred, and as an act of justice
to my fellow employees I ask that my
resignation alone be accepted and that no
one else shall be made to suffer for my
fault. The rest of the boys are a pretty
good lot. They will serve you faithfully
and redeem themselves in your eyes. ]
am sure, If you will give them chance
Yours respectfully,
BARNEY BLAKE.
designations declined with thanks.
You are all going to stick right to your
jobs until l tell you different" an
nounced Major Hayden bluntly as he
finished reading the above communities
ton and, tearing it into strips, dropped
1t into the wastebasket. you've had
your lesson, boys, and ! guess there
Isn't much danger of any more such
exhibitions as we have had here this
afternoon I'm willing to try you any
how.
"But I'm glad you added that post
script. Mr. Blake" he concluded. reach
ing over and giving Barney's hand a
hearty shake. 'It has manly ring to
| it. and reckon We'll get along to-
gether all right"
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1908-11-21
FAREWELL To
THE ANDERSONS
MEMBERS OF THE EASTERN STAR
TENDER THEM A RECEPTION
LAST COMMEMORATE
GOING IN VERSE.

Mr.. and Mrs. A. F. Anderson, Of
their new home at La Conner. They
are both members of the Eastern
Star lodge, and that organization gave
them farewell reception last night
at the hall room. Some special music
was furnished by Miss Cohen and the
Misses Ferryman and Mooney. Cards
and dainty refreshments were also
features. The departure of Mr.. and
Mrs. Anderson was cOmmemorated in
verse in little poem written by Mrs.
w. P. Cameron, as follows:
The summer days are over, the fruit
is gathered in;
The ranchers all are happy and count
ing up their tin;
See golden days a coming with heaps
of coin ahead;
The hard times now are over, the
poor and hungry fed.
And ranchers by the dozen will seek
a warmer cline;
And in the south this winter will
have a jolly time.
Long Beach will soon be famous,
filled with Wenatchee's best,
Who go to spend their money and
get a needed rest.
They advertise Wenatchee, and peo-
pie every day
Are moving to this valley to plant
and prune and spray.
They hope to make fortune like
those Of whom they're told;
Have runabouts and autos and heaps
and heaps of gold.
1t happened that quite early, in fact
some years ago,
A hardware store was started, as
doubtless some here know.
Now hardware goods and ranches go
forward hand in hand;
You need a rake and shovel to culti-
vate the land.
The hardware man a Mason was,
faithful, tried and true,
Like many another Mason. member
of the blue;
Astrology he studied, till one event
full night,
Became Star, still starring secured
one for wife.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1908-11-21

And in this lodge together filled many
useful place
With skill and lots of wisdom and
proper airs and grace;
Both were~always ready to do a kind
ly deed.
A pair Of willing workers, the sort
lodge most needs.
So, when one day twas rumored that
they would go away,
The officers and members were filed
with sore dismay;
We hoped they'd reconsider and think
that after all
They'd come back to Wenatchee and
settle in the fall.
But now our dreams are over, they
liked the Sound too well;
Ask Anderson about it and you will
hear him tell
About the lovely water and all about
his boat,
Where through our dusty summer
he'd idly fish and float.
For fishes by the bushel come most up
to land,
And all the way to catch them was
holding out his hand.
Suppose it rained, what if it, he
didn't mind the wet;
Twas just the day for hauling
heavy loaded net.
LaConner was a Paradise, very
saints retreat
After Wenatchee's hustle and dry
midsummer heat.
He'd be a jolly farmer; he'd. heard
of hay-seei Brown,
Who had too much of country life
and struck out for the town.
He'd raise both hay and cattle, have
chicks and ducks galore;
Enjoy his little family, he'd had too
much of store.
Alas for poor Wenatchee, so oft has
been her fate,
It makes too rich her people, and
they, becoming great,
Seek other fields more cultured, and
as they oft depart,
Leave here some times, l fear 1t,
many an aching heart.
But we have still this promise for
those who go away;
They'll be like all the others and be
coming back to stay,
For they've tasted the big red apple,
even unto the core,
Tasted this fruit of knowledge,
they'll surely want some more.
Eaten our juicy peaches, sampled the
juicy pear,
Tasted our watermelons, of cante-
loupes had their share.
Oh, LaConner may be lovely and the
the water may be grand,
But hay ranch cannot equal one
lot of Wenatchee sand.
So adieu to the Anderson family and
welcome back again,
And success and great prosperity
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1908-11-21
A BELMONT LOT.

H. NJ. Noecker, newcomer here,
this week purchased from Walker &
Wiiney lot in Belmont addition.
The price was 1895 and Mr.. Mock
er plans on building at once.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1908-11-21

and best of luck to them,
May the light of this Star go with
them, shining along their way,
Leading them back to Wenatchee and
their friends here some. sweet
day.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1908-11-21
BOUGHT EIGHTY ACRE TRACT.

Percy Walker this week bought an
eighty-acre tract south of Malaga
from Rev. Chas- NJ. Boiin, the con-
sideration being $4,000. This tract
is all under water. and portion of
it is in bearing orchard. This was
bought on speculation by Mr.. Walker.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1908-11-21

Just in, new line of small musi-
cal instruments at Thomas, the Jew
eler's. sss
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1908-11-21

Charley Potts enjoyed his break
fast better than ever because his wife
served him Folger's Golden Gate
Coffee, ground just before using.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22
Find the Answer.

< certain young man took his best IiYl to the lheatcr. During the evening ahe complained of not feeling well, and they left before the show was over. Ike took her home, and when he said good night the girl was pretty sick. Next day it turned out that she haC ciphthcria. Then the young man began 10 wonder if he was booked for siege with the disease too. He called on q physician he knew to ask about it.
 The physician heard the young mans tale. "Wcll," said he at the conclu~ipl of it. "l think your chances 10 catrl. the disease depend on how you said good night to the young lady.
 The young man was quiet moment Then he said: "Doctor. I'm much oblig sd. If that's the case, I'm not in dan ger
 The young man went out. 4 minute later llc stuck his head in the door Say. doc" lie said, "diphthcria don't so very hard with strong. healthy young men, does it:"uenver Post
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22
The Joke Was on Her.

X woman member of the bar in New J ork gives to OUT correSpondctt t.i' Following col'rcSpendhUc" lh lt@ res ervation that DO nau,e~ >haH be qun!r1. q am one of th" few women. ~g" says, who can SC" | joke cVcn if ain, cd at myself. do uol trrl that fn t'nt case l came off first best"
 The first letter Was from man law ger and was as follows
 Dear Miss Elaull-We agree io the com promise as proposed in ,oIr favor of it4~ Gate. Not because your client has Il l"-. ssGht to such settlement, but from th' fact that we do not care ip open q c"' test with q woman lawyer
 To which this reply was sent:
 Gcntlcmvu--I note VOLTS agrrcin" to ( settlement aitEuagU | cannot cOuEratN ate you on your gnlianlIN in begging the question. Like the original Adam 70" s@em inclined to hide behind q NelHs.H a Setticoat
 And the following letter closed tn. correspondence:
 Dear Miss Hlank-If you will turn to th- early pages of Genesis you Will discover that Eve did not wear a pettcoat.
 Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22
Testinq the Insane.

Sir Douglas Straight told an anus. .ng story at the dinner of the Journey men HairdresSerS' Trade society He remembered, when a young barrister going into q barber shop to be shaved He was a little startled to see the wo. man behind the counter staring at him from time to time through the glase door. When he got outside the shop q policeman said, II am very glad to lind you have come out explanin, that his anxiety was due to the fact that the barber came out of q luua;ic asylum the previous week, and as he had been acting queerly again his rela- tl"eS were wondering whether they would have to send him back to the ssylum.-I-ondon Standard.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22
A Monster Rodent,

The Brazilian capybara is large stoutlv built rodent. Imagine a ral weighing oSO pounds with a huge head an upper lip a foot long and close set eyes and one has an idea of the beast. He is the largest Of the rodent tri'r and has harsh, coarse hair, more like briSllcs than fur This hair is mixed black and yellow, of Ginsy appearance In his native haunts the capyhara has huge fat stomach which almost drags on the ground. He is a water loving animal and can dive and stay under for eight or ten minutes at |. time. The jaguar of South America preys upon the capybara. and thc In iians kill him for his flesh. which when smoked is said to be as delicious as a Kentucky ham. although il has |, certain nnsky flavor. Tho capy bara makes q sound when alarmed some what between q dogs bark and pigs Rrunt. He was once called the hydro chocrus. or water hog. aud lives on a vegetable diet.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22
MODEL LICENSE
 LAW IS URGED
Liuuor Men Gather in Lonls'i'ic lor the Bcttcrment of Their COndi- tiOns-TO Elevate the Salooh and Oust Those Who Nio-
 late the Laws.

Lon 'svi!le. Ky. Jan. ?l.-.t moGei license law. 10 offset Tn" demands of the prohibiti,nists,is urged "
 reprcganta.iyc 3rcwors, d5tiilcra
 and l:Gu0" dealers who assemble" |" in Louisville today for th" firot na- ti>aaI vent on of .he Model l'- censc league. Th~ deliberations of the liuuor men will be continued tr- morrow. It is hoped to staSl a
 pgblic campaign :a which the mod el license law will be offered as the solu' ior of tae problem of tl.e !eSr-
 lat on 2nG control of the liquor traf-
 tic. Prohibition has become a para
 mount issue in the South. and is
 rapidly spreading throughout the
 country, and it is the hope O. head
 ing off this anti-caloon crusade that
 the Model License league has in
 in view Liquor men state that in-
 toxcants are used in large quanti-
 ties in "dry" territory as in wet"
 states, but that the trade is carried on by mail order whiskey houses.
 It is expected the proposed mod el law governing the sale of ardent spirits will be introduced in many state legislatures in the near fll- turt
 Colonel Thomas M Gilmore i; the president of the league and the official evangelist of the new liquor law He urges the importance of the wine. beer, whiskey and collat- aral trades becoming q unit in the defense of the trade and taking a firm stand for the elevation of the saloon and the wiping out of the low dives and the cheap groga cries, which are branded as a menace to the trade.
 some of the ideas embodie, in the leagues recommendations for a model law are: That all license now outstanding be continued un- less cancelled by majority of the voters: that all licenses be trans ferred and that no licenses should be issued under the proportion of less than one to every 300 popula- tlon.
 Representatives are nere from all the leading brewing companies of St. Louis, Milwaukee and other centers of the industry, and from a large number of the great distill- Ing concerns of the country. In ad- dltion to speeches by the liquor men addresses will be made by several legislators and men of prominence in the public affairs of Kentucky and the country at large Malstors, coopers, coppersmiths and others indirectly interested in the liquor trade are also represented at the convention
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22
What the Noise Did.

Of tire noise of London streets cauS,ati by the hackney coach Taylor. ;.c oht water poet. wrote: "it makes such q hideous rumbling in the streets by many churches doors that peoples esTs are stopped with tue noise. whore vDy they are debarred of their C.. inc which makes faith so fruitiesS. .aod works so barren and charity n9 ,pld at midsummer as if it were a 'cat frost. By this means souls are ~. Led and starved Of thc.r heavc4l. ,...t.!a." !"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22
ADMISSION OF MOBILE SAVES RAILROAD FARE
New Mileage of Southern League Since Withdrawal of Shreyepirt
 Shows Interesting Changes.

Memphis. Tenn. Jan. 21.-Fig- nres gathered for convenience of those who will be called on to ar range schedule for the 1908 cam nation in reference to the new mi leaGe of the circuit caused by the admission of Mobile in place of Shreveport The shortest jump in the circuit and the longest jump in the circuit are not affected by the substitution of Mobile. but, accord ing to figures, many dollars will be saved by the elimination of the Louisiana city.
 The longest jump in the league will be from New Orleans to Mem phis, distance of 395 miles. The shortest jump will be from Birming- ham 10 Montgomery, distance of 9G miles. The long and tedious trip across the state of Louisiana to Shreveport from New Orleans will be missing and the anly awkward jump this year will be from Mem phis to Little Rock. a distance of 133 miles. Teams will be forced to double back on the same path making the combined mileage for a single series of games for each team at 266 miles, but as Arkan- Sas has adopted a 2-cent mile fiat rate, and as the fastest train out of Memphis 10 the West connects the , two cit es, magnates and managers are not complaining hereabouts of the expense or hardship. The figures gathered from official sources show the new map of the Southern league to be linked in mil cage in this manner:
 From Montgomery to Birming- | ham, 96 miles.
 Fro Memphis to Little Rock, 133 miles.
 From New Orleans to Mobile,
 14i miles.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22
A Standing Rule.

Jones had just run over to see If NIT. and Mrs. Blank would go tp the 'theater with them. Mrs. Blank was awfully sorry she would so much li,.r 10 go-bnt unfortunately Blank was out Probably he was at the cl!i She would telephone The followin4 conversation ensued:
 ''2i3A Gerard, please. Hello. ls this the - club: Is my husband there: Hello: Not there? sure? Well. all right then. Eut hold on. Ho"' do you know: haven't even L, !d you Eay name'
 "Thcre ain't nobody's husband here never: was the wise attendants $ re- ply,-London Tatler.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22

Shreveport's place as a spot where Sunday contests could be figured on. Practically the same schedule will be announced with the Eastern sec ton of clubs playing against each other for a series and the Western clubs arrayed, followed by a switch to the home ofthe visiting team for the second series. Mobile is fig ured on and regarded as a Western town, as a mutual point struck off on the new Southern league map shows Mobile situated west of the central dividing line
 
 Dry Wood anG Cinders for sale. Quick delivery. X. White, 2113 West Thirteenth street. old phone i12S.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22
4 Curious Fac.

"I have some very Strou. .titrs O. Introduction" said the cnllcY.
 My friend answered Senator So. ;Shum. T don't rely too far on com anunications of that kind A mau will, give you letter of Introduction de scfibing you as possessed of eyery ne. ble quality in human nature and in ,,.,. next breath refuse to inGorse your uote for S20. Washington Star.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22

From Atlanta to Birmingham. 16S miles.
 From Mobile to Montgomery. 1S0 miles.
 From Montgomery to Atlanta, 175 miles.
 From Birmingham to Nashville, 207 miles.
 From Memphis to Nashville, 23333 milt'.
 From New Orleans to Memphis. 395 miles.
 The announcement that the Mo- bile city council had determined to permit Sunday playing was receiy- ed with joy by the league officials as well as the schedule makers, for it placed Mobile practically in
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22
4 Bad Outjook.

Mother r-Dorothy. have to be sco,d- Ing you all the time, Dorothv-Weu. all l can say. mamma. is I'm sorry for the man who gets you for a motherin taw.--Smith's Magazine.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-01-22

A lazy man goes far. and he who shuns tabor labors doubly. = Cree Proverh
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27
TAFT MAKES HIT IN IOWA
Characteristic Short Speeches Take
Well with Crowds.
TALKS WITH MANY HE MEETS
Voice Does Not Hold Out, but Cam
didate Makes Excellent Inn
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Greet
Train.
TALKS WITH MANY HE MEETS

WATERLOO, Ia, Sept. 2s.-Mr. Taft's
tour OF Iowa began with a short address
to an immense crowd at Cedar Rapids
before s o'clock. The carrying power Of
the candidates voice was still notably de
ficlent. In explaining his condition, Mr..
Taft told the crowd that 1t was because
l talked yesterday to about 125,OO good
Iowa republicans"
1t was, he added, very trying not to be
able to impart his ideas satisfactorily to
the big crowds that greeted him, but he
expressed the keenest appreciation OF the
compliments shown him by the presence OF
the crowds and their enthusiasm.
When he had concluded at Cedar Rapids,
his review of the duties OF good citizen
ship which he said included the selection
OF government agents who had been tried
and found satisfactory rather than those
who made promises and prophecies which
time universally proves unsound, he was
requested to face the crowds on all four
sides OF the raised platform from which
he spoke. As he did this, he remarked
with a smile, II feel like a performing
bear"
"Wen.' was the retort from the crowd,
I'VE are going to give you the blue ribbon
all right"
'Inat ; what i want TeJolHSu ~ SohN'
date, II want Iowa to show the good
sense OF her men and women by rolling up
a 100000 republican majority, which I be-
lieve she will do"
Another big crowd awaited the special
at Vinton, and from the rear platform the
candidate made a brief talk and was
heartily chesred. WAterloo's reception was
another big affair. and here, too, the crowd
was demonstrative
Senator Clapp Of Minnesota boarded the
special in Iowa TO act as the escort OF
honor after the Minnesota line should be
reached. Five stops were scheduled in
Minnesota before st. Paul is reached at 3
o'clock. Here Mr.. Taft plans 10 deliver a
speech on postal savings banks and the
guaranty of bank deposits. He will so to
Minneapolis tonight, where he will remain
over Sunday.
In mis- speech at Vinton, which gives a
good idea Of Mr.. Taft's short talks. he
spoke as follows.
Il only want TO say to those who are
farmers tina they are in a very comfort
able situation with reference to their crops
and their prices. That II they will look
back twelve years they will find a situa-
ton under the Gorman-Wilson tariff bill
thai was not so comfortable; when prices
went down to half OF what they are now,
and then a panacea was proposed that we
Just cut down half our debts by act Of con-
gress. and having thus paid off half. we
go on and struggle with the remainder.
Instead Of that. which was the recon-
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27

day interviewed in the complaint Of Omaha
lumber dealers against out-rates from Lin
coin. The company followed the example
of the Lincoln Commercial club and filed a
demurrer with the State Railway commits
sion. The commission will hear argument
on the demurrer of the Lincoln club Sep
TENDER %.
Conditional Pardon.
Governor Sheldon today issued a condi-
tional pardon to Raymond r. Kennard of
Plainview,. who is serving a one-year sem
tence for forging an endorsement to a check
for a small amount. He was received at
the prison March IL and is q years OF age.
lie now has typhoid fever. The governor
has ordered him taken to a hospital at
University Place, there to remain till he
RECEIVERS and then be taken to the home OF
his parents in the same town. and there
after to be employed at some useful occupa-
ton and to report to the governor monthly
the amount of his earnings.