Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-06-12
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lsnly sure. | was engaged to a
girl once myself."-Detroit Free Press.
Intelligent Rescuer (to skater who
has fallen through STEADY, old man,
steady! Keep cool London Bystand-
er.
What do you think of the simpli6ed
spelling" 1T would be all right If it
wasn't so hard to learn. Detroit Free
Press.
"They seem to live happily togeth-
er." "Yes; he lets his wife select his
neckties and his stenographers."
Nashville American.
"They seem to be having a duet in
the next suite" "Yes, the man is prac-
ticing on the cornet while his wife
talks.'-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Karr-What makes you think that
you are going to succeed in business?
Bagster-Because my partner has
$500, O,OOO.-SOmervill Journal.
II always try to treat my maid as
If she were a member of the family"
Gracious, how do you get her to put
up with lt?'-Chlcago Record Herald.
Dolly-Pardon me, dear, but you cut
a ridiculous figure on the street yester-
day. Polly-Oh, forgive me, dear! IL
L had seen you should have spoken
Cleveland Leader
Bacon-Do you think 1t is proper for
a m tn hi
back? Egbert-Well, If he's trying to
button her dress, how can he help it?
l-YOnkers Statesman.
She-But, Fred, dear, fancy coming
In such shabby clothes when you are
going to ask pas consent. Fred-Ar,
| but, dearest, l once had new suit
ruined.-The Sketch.
Passenger-Boatman hadn't we bet
ter bail her out? She's half full of
water. Irish Boatman-Och, niver
mind, sor. Sure she'll run over when
she's quite full."-Punch.
ITO what do you attribute your sue
cess in acquiring money! Partly to
the success of other men in letting 90
of it," replied the great financier.-
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
"Tve never had any great luck" de-
clared the pessimist. Neither have
H. admitted the optimist Made my
money by hard work and advertising"
louisville Courier-Journal.
Plumber-Have you got all we want
for Browns job? Boy-Yes. Plumber
-Wot7 You 'avent forgotten nothin'?
Bless my soul, 'ow d'you expect to make
a plumber?-The Bystander.
The Dentlst-Now, open wide your
mouth and l won't hurt you bit. The
Patient (after the extractlon) doctor,
l know what Ananias did for living
now.-Chicago Home Herald.
The Artist-So you can't use my
sketches, then. Would you mind telling
me what you think of them? The Edit
orr can't now, there are some ladies'
in the next room.-Leslie's Weekly.
Justin" said Mrs. Wyss. "Yes," re.
piled Mr.. Wyss. "Will you speak n
kind word to Fido and make him wag
his tail. He hasn't had one bit of exer-
else all day. Magazine.
'How did Harry enjoy his trip
abroad" "Very much; he looks hap
py, and has gained 115 pounds" "One
hundred and fifteen pounds?" "Yes,
and she's an heiress. Brooklyn Life.
'The manager always keeps back a
portion of the villains salary" "Why
does he do that--afraid he'd sklp?"
"No; but he always acts his part better
when he's mad."-St. Louis Globe Dem
Ocrat.
you told me this ring was a fire
opal an expert tells me II isn't any
thing Of the kind" my frent. you 20
tell dot eggspert he's liar nit my conf
bllments. Dot opal vas in four fires"
Life
Charming Hostess Ito dyspeptic
guest, who has been refusing dish after
dish i am so distressed You've had
no dinner at ALL Guest-Thank you-
but have to be very particular about
my fOod.-Punch.
rs my son getting well grounded il.
the classics?" asked the anxious mil
llonaire. 81 would put it even stronger
than that" replied the private tutor.
81 may say that he Is actually strand
ed on them. ."-Chicago Record Herald.
Church-What's that piece of cord
tied around your finger for? Gotham
My wife put it there to remind me to
mail letter. Church-And did you
mail it? Gotham-No; she forgot to
give 1t to me The Congregatonalst.
"Do you think Bliggins would make
a good husband?" asked the conscien-
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