davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
e,nd,ne . Herss.he..


There Is q man who has q very poor
hea of the horseshoe AZ a bringer Of
good luck.
II found one In the road some time
ago." he remarked. LAS a matter Of
fact, another old gentleman found II
also about the same time. We both
wanted 1t. and there was 4 tussle for
1t.
II got the shoe, black eye. torn
finger from rusty nall In the shoe
and q summons for assault and bat
terry.
at wasn't a very good start. but l
thought I'd give 1t fair trial. OF
course In mailing the shoe up above the
front door managed to smash my
thumb and fall from the stepladder.
Then l sat down and waited for
the luck to begin. That shoe seemed
to be endowed with the power to at
tract trouble in every form.
'sDuns. bailiffs, the landlord. measles
and poverty were rarely out Of the
house. and my faith was shaken.
'Tlen one day, when the rate COL
lector was standing on the top step,
that shoe came down with crash
"Ah!" interrupted the sympathizer.
Luck at last!'
"Not a bit of It." sighed the unlucky
one. sit missed him by foot."-Lon-
don Answers
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12

The small boys mother was the only
one who sat unmoved. while the small
boy himself-most unwelcome addition
to the informal afternoon tea-gleeful
ly galloped around the circular table.
daintily spread with silver and CHM
and lowered over by cut glass lamp
"I's spurious pony!' shrilled the In
FAINT joyously as he tossed his Aaxen
locks and twinkled his besocked legs
with ever increasing speed ~
Mercy! He'll have the lamp over"
shIvered a nervous young woman az
the human gyroscope stumbled over the
edge of a rug, clawed at the table for
support, then triumphantly continued
circling. Conversation froze on pallid
lips as they sat awaiting the lnevita-
BILE crash. Only the voice of the small
boys mother rippled along serenely.
The nervous young woman could
stand it no longer. In sheer despair
she ventured, MRS. Archibald-er-par
don me-your dear little boy
The lady addressed stared blankiy..
then grasped the situation. Malcolm"
she said sweetly-"Malcolm. dear. run
around In the opposite direction. dar-
ling. Miss Vinton's afraid you'll make
yourself giddy."-Woman's Home Com
panion.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
tn. Way Of womankind.

Women are indefatigable in thelr
analysis of conduct. A man accepts
white ray Of light for what 1t is; a
woman passes 1t through prism and
resolves it into Its component rays. II
pass Mrs A. In the street without
saluting her she conjectures q dozen
painful motives to account for my alb
sentmlndedness. II she passes me l
conclude that she is shortsighted or alb
sentmlnded.
II say to my niece Molly that 9 and
2 make she consents. but is uncon-
WINGED. But II show her this little
formula-1hs+11at 1N+A=4-she is at
once NIL alive with interest and sits
down to work It out and proclaim in
triumph that 1t il 20. From hard
and dull statement Of the fact 1t has
become problem and an intrigue. and
here she ia in her element.
That is the way Of womankind In all
relations to life.-"Comnients Of Bag
shot"
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
MAKING II Simple.

In the course of his sermon preach
err In rural district used the world
phenomenon. This word caused one Of
the members some trouble, for he was
unable to attach any meaning to 1t.
Finally he determined to seek m ex-
PLANTATION from the minister and ut the
close Of the service approached him on
the subject.
what did yer mean by that there
long word yer used In yer sermonY
he began.
.Oh. I see you do not know what a
phenomenon u.s." replied the minister.
"Well, have you ever seen cow graz
ing in a field In which thistles were
growingT
Eyes; many time"
THAT is not a phenomenon. And no
doubt you have often listened to n lark
singing merrily away up In the
clouds"
YES"
THAT, again, is not a phenomenon.
But II you saw that cow sitting on
thistle singing like lark that would
be Il phenomenon" - Liverpool Mer-
curry.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
II Would F,attsr Man,

Few men have deserved and few
have won higher praise in an epltaph
than the following. which was written
by Lord Byron on the tomb of bis dead
Newfoundland:
Near this spot are deposited the re-
mains Of one who possessed beauty
without vanity, strength without inso-
lence, courage without ferocity and all
the virtues Of man without his vices.
This praise. which would be unmean-
ing fattery II inscribed over human
ashes. is but just tribute to the mem
DRY of Boatswain, dog. who was born
at Newfoundland May 3. 1903, and died
ut Newstead abbey Nov. 1S, 1908"
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12

1t Is likely that the most embarrass-
cd man In New York could be found
last Monday In Sixth avenue store.
He was mild, inoffensive looking
man. He stood leaning over the bal
cony that surrounds the first floor Of
the store. looking with interest Mt the
crowd below. Presently his eye allght-
ed ON small boy who was being rush
ed from counter to counter in tow of
very large woman. Just as he look
ed down at the boy the boy looked up
Mt him. lnstinctively perceiving. with
dlabolc instinct, what would be his
own youthful propensity II he occu-
pied similar point of vantage. the boy
struck beseeching attitude and called
out In lInploring accents:
'Oh, mister; please. mister. don't spit
Oh mel"
For man with no intention Of spit
ting on that particular boy or any one
else the situation was certainly awk-
wnrk, and the man retired in red faced
confuslon.-New York Times.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
K.di.k island. Queer Climate.

OF the abnormal climate of Kadiak
Island, Alaska, writer says: "In spite
of its situation in such high ATTITUDES
we find here what may well be de-
scribed MS the parting of the ways be-
tween the arctic and more temperate
regions. For. thanks to the moderating
influence OF the Japanese current
which flows along its southern coasts.
Kadiak is favored with climatic condi-
tons such rs are unknown even in
places a few miles north or east Of 1t
on the mainland of Alaska. SO pro-
nounced Is the demarcation line that
even on the island itself n traveller in
summer will suddenly emerge from
amid forests and vegetation of almost
tropical luxuriance into barren. des-
olate land OF silence, where lofty snow
capped mountains tower aloft, brood
ing. MS 1t were, over the past terrors of
an arctic winter which will soon de-
scend once more. enveloping them In
Its icy grip"
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
Very Patient.

A doctor, now eminent. Wi, at one
time serving as inferno III one of the
Philadelphia hospitals as well as b-sl-
ing his own with coterie OF rather
gay friends. On certain morni..s t.ie
sadly oversight. sleepily DOMINIC his
attire, he hastened to the hospital an =.
soon stalwart young Irishman clni A.
ed his attention.
well, my man, what seems 10 lie
your trouble this morning." inquired
the doctor, concealing yawn and TAX
ing the patient by the hand to examine
his pulse.
Faith, sor, it's I'LL In me breathin'.
doctor. can't git me breath at all. at
ALL"
1.-THE pulse is normal, Pat, but let
me examine the lung action IL mo-
ment," replied the doctor. kneeliug be-
side the cot and laying his head Oh Tie
Irishman's chest. "Now let me hear
you talk" he continued, closing his
eyes and listening attentively for
sounds of pulmonary congestion.
A moment of silence.
"What will be sayin'. doctor?"
finally asked the patient.
"Oh, say anything. Count. Count
one. two, three and up, that way"
murmured the physician drowsily.
"Wan. two. three. fure, five, six"
When the young doctor, with IL start,
opened his eyes, Pat was continuing
weakly. Tin hundred an sixty-nine,
tin hundred an sivinty. tin hundred
an sivinty-wan."-Suc
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12

The man was enthusiastic about a
restaurant he had discovered
BEST place I've eaten Mt In months"
he said Everything first class You'd
better try it."
Were you very hungry when you
went in?" asked his friend.
"As n bear" said the man.
go back some time when you are
not 80 ravenous." his friend advised.
''and see how you like 1t then. make
1t point never to experiment with d
restaurant recommended by q person
who was very hungry when he ate
there To person who is half starved
anything tastes, good."-New York
Press.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
IL. Defect In Hi. pr,,.ino,

The professor Of surgery in one of
England's universities has the reputa-
ton Of being one Of the most painstak-
ing a1d delicate operators In Britain,
thoughtful OF the patient and careful
In the clinic. One day in the course of
q clinical demonstration he turned to
student who had just commenced his
studies with the question:
Now. sir. can you tell me what ID
wrong with my dressing?"
The ingenious youth turned red and
preserved discreet silence. The pro-
lessor, however. was not to be put
on and repeated the question. After a
long pause the youth stammered out
in n fit of desperation:
well, sir, II you insist on my telling
you. should say your tie is not quite
straight. Globe.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
Til. Make. /. Very Plain.

The meaning of the word 'swastika"
is "It is WELL" or good luck. The mean.
Ing Of the symbol is more complex,
Some folks trace 1t to the sun.
1.-THE emblem is the sun In motion, "
argued Professor Max Muller. "a
wheel with spokes was actually re-
plnced by what we now call swastika.
The swastika is, In fact, an abbreviat.
ed emblem Of the solar wheel with
spokes in 1t, the tire and the move.
ment being indicated by the cramprus.
at is the summary in few lines Of
the whole work of creation" said Nine.
Blavatsky: "is evolution, as one should
say. from cosmotheogony down to an
thropogeny. from the indivisible I'M
known to materiaiistic science. whoss
genesis is as unknown to that science
as that Of the all. Deity itself. The
swastika Is found heading the religious
symbols Of every old nation"
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
The sons Answer.

After his sons great success with
the '.Dame aux Camelias" Alexandra
Dumas wrote to him rs though a stran-
ger. congratulating him on the book
and expressing q desire to make the
authors acquaintance. II myself am a
literary man." said che in conclusion.
"and you may have heard my name us
the author of Monte Cristo.'"
Dumas fills was equal to the occasion.
He wrote Immediately In reply. ex-
pressing the great pleasure he would
have In making his correspondents &C.
qnaintnnce. principally on account of
the high terms In which he had always
heard his father speak of the author Of
Monte Cristo."
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
He Was Vary Cool.

A congressman who was on board q
train which was wrecked says that
when the shock came one Of the pas
sengers was pitched over several seats
just In time to receive the contents Of
the water cooler, which tipped over
and soaked his clothing with Ice wa
ter A highly excited passenger rushed
up to him md told him to keep cool.
go away" said the wet man. II am
the coolest man in the car. have just
had two buckets Of ice water emptied
down my back"
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
Wanted HI, Tin,

In Astoria" said a Washington
state ofiicial, there used to be IN old
fisherman who brought me the first of
every month present of splendid
salmon from his master. always
gave the old fisherman 4 tip.
~But one morning was very busy,
and when the old boy brought the fish
l thanked him hurriediy and, forget
ting his tip. bent over my desk, again.
He hesltated a moment then cleared
his throat and said:
Senator, would We be 30 kind Us to
put It In writin' that We didn't give
me no tip this time, or my wife'll think
Eye went and spent 1t on rum "-Los
Angeles Times.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12

Moving picture cameras IRE remark
able pieces of mechanism. The films
are only three-quarters of IN inch
wide. These are In rolls. sometimes 800
feet long. When taking pictures the
camera man reels of these rolls just
us rapidly as they are unreeled when
thrown upon the canvas for the spec
tator, at rate of ten or twelve films
second. Moving pictures are simply
u number of views thrown upon a
white sheet one after another SO rapid
ly that the eye cannot detect the inter
walls
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
BURNING A DIAMOND.
The Experiment as Made by pavy and
EarAday,

The Experiment a. MADE ~ Oavy and
Faraday.
That diamonds will not only burn.
but will blnze, was proved as long ago
US 1914 by Sir Humphry Davy and
Michael Faraday. The experiment was
carried ont at Florence. where the two
scientists were visiting the great Duke
Of Tuscany. whose burning ginss was
the medium through which the sun
was Induced to operate. This burn
Ing glass consisted Of couple Of con-
vex lenses. distant from each other
about three and half feet. the large
lens being some fourteen inches In
diameter. the smaller about three
inches. The diamond rested on q rod
of platinum which had cup shaped
receptacle Mt the top. pierced with holes
to admit Of free circulation 81 gas.
This rod was fixed In the center Of a
glass globe Of twenty-five cubical
inches capacity. exhausted Of air and
oiled with pure hydrogen.
Intense heat wns brought to bear
upon the diamond when It was a.
posed to the sun. the second lens great
~ EeuuCiuk luC lOCuo. III tuS COuIDE
Of three-quarters Of an hour It was
necessary twice or thrice to cool the
globe Then 1t was noticed that the
diamond was slowly diminishing and
becoming gradually opaque. Suddenly
It burst into hame. They removed the
stone from the focus, and It blazed
away merriry. It giowed brilliantly.
with scarlet light inclinIng to pur-
pie. and continued to burn for about
four minutes.
The glass was then cooled and the
diamond again submitted to the action
Of the sun Again 1t blazed. but not
for so long period US at first Twice
more this was repeated. and then the
diamond was totally consumed This
WINS the first occasion on which. 30 far
as Is known. diamond had been seen
to burn.-Chicago News.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12

Curious book titles are always being
rediscovered. mostly from that prolific
period the commonwealth. when sane
timony was supreme.
Thus: John Dances Better Than
Peter: Peter Dances Better Than John;
Both Dance Well' "a vicious attack on
the Jesuits. In five volumes). "a Sigh
For the Sinners of Zion. Coming From
a Hole In the Wall. by an Earthen Yes
sell. Known Among Men as Samuel
Fisher" (was this how taverns came to
take the sign Of the "hole in the
wallTD-London Scraps.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
UNCLE SANS !. o. U.


04or0o Warrington.
Ths Columbian Historical society re-
Gently has come into possession Of the
papers relating to the negotiations be-
tween one Of the Carroll family and
the government Of the United States
for the payment of the money due for
the famous portrait Of Washington by
GllbeSt Stuart. This was the portrait
which in the war of 1872 was rescued
from the burning White House by the
intrepid Dolly Madison. Stuart paint-
ed this portrait In Philadelphia In
1705. when in the height of his glory.
He but recently had returned from
London, where he had counted among
his subjects King George w.. the
Prince Of Wales, Mrs. Siddons ind
many other celebrities, and he had the
temerity to ask congress for $500 for
bis painting of the first patriot
The soions were aghast ut such u
price. promptly refused to pay 1t and
intimated that any one SO unpatriotic
might as well 60 back and paint kings.
for Do was not suited to paint patriots
But Daniel Carroll of Duddington
threw himself In the breach, urged the
claim Of the artist and put before the
congress what figure they would cut
before tho eyes of the world II they
failed to meet an obligation incurred
Carroll offered to pay the money HIM
self II the government gave him prom
Ise Of remuneration. After much quib-
bling promissory note was given at 8
per cent, and 1t was twenty years be-
fore the Carroll heirs received the
whole Of the $500 which Stuart re-
ceived for the finest portrait ever
painted Of the Father Of His Country.
During the hasty cutting of the picture
from It's frame when the victorious
British were marching on the capital
the signature Of Stuart was destroyed
The picture lay in obscurity for doz-
en- years, and there was some doubt
thrown on its authenticity when 1t was
rehung In the White House. 1t now
adorns the blue room with Martha
Washington by the same artist. and
the two form the sole decoration of the
throne room. az the dainty blue room
Ii dubbed by those who like court
phrases. For over ssventy.five years
1t hung In the east room.-New York
Pre8A
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
A LITTLE LEARNING.
Some Amusing saunders Mads BY
English School childrsn.

eV0uVUu 0SVVVb SUbb0TVVs
Here are some amusing blundsrs, or
"howlers," made by English school
children: Q. How were soldiers In ear
ly times different from those OF today ?
A. They weren't; they had big darck
eyes and long black hear. Itch diem
is the motto on the Prince Of Wales
features" 1.-THE Dutch and English
after the armada struck 4 medal; Je-
hovah blew. and they were scattered
on it, John Ballot was persuaded to
rebel and ded to France. where he
afterward died in mental agony" I'm
IS d. G. Julius Caesar crossed over to
Britain and conquered 1t, and in 81
3. c. he crossed over again to drive out
the Danes; this shows. therefore, that
he lnId the foundation OF the French
language and French civilization and
also made Italy safe from any attack
from the barbarians." "Hamilcar has
touring show. panorama. etc.. and
acrobats in the Curzon hall. Birming-
ham," "Cicero was a Grecian histo-
rian; he led the 5000 Greeks after
Xenephen was killed"
Social questions are sometimes treat
ed after this fashion: ''In one Of the
slums Of Liverpool. in the back yard.
was a girl filled up with cabbage stalks
and ten leaves" 'In the houses Of the
poor the drains are In fearful state
and quite unfit for human habitation."
"In nearly NIL poor houses the land
Indy lives In the center OF the room.
keeping tenant in each corner" 1.-THE
best way to improve poorhouses would
be to put thick plank on the floor
and cast iron beam on the ceiling"
The Bible provides some quaint In
stances: when Lots wife looked back
she was turned into pillar of cloud by
day and pillar of fire by night" THE
city Of refuge was heaven" Amos
was very doleful person or an opti-
mist" "A synagogue was not used as
a swimming bath or tanners shop"
'-,rhe Passover lamb might not be older
than eight days or younger than one
year"
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
An Autbor Who Hated Water.

Nine. dArblay, better known as
Miss Fanny Burney. who took such an
important place in the literature of the
eighteenth century, had IN extraordi-
nary and most undesirable popularity.
She had the greatest aversion to wash
ing and water. Sir Henry Holland
was the physician who attended the
gifted authoress during the last year
of her life, and she confided to him
that she had not washed for fifteen
years
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
THE CREATIVE POWER.
"seisnes," Said Lord Kelvin, .Aflsrms
the Existence Of God"

"oeisnos," Said Lord Kelvin, "Aflsrms
the Existence Of q God"
cannot at all accept the view Of
those who assert that ether il atomic.
since all my own Investigations have
clearly demonstrated to me that its
structure II totally nonatomic. In fact,
Il has no structure in the accepted
meaning of the term. Neither can
accept the view Of those who assert
that science neither aiirms nor denies
the existence of 4 Creator. On the con-
trary. science most positively asserts
the existence Of 4 creative power. We
cannot escape from this conclusion
whsp We study the physique and the
dynamic OF living beings and dead"
nature which We ~ around NJ.
Modern phyEologists again firmly de-
clarsi that there = something else out
side sravitation and the physical and
chemical forces. This something ID a
vital principle. Science places before
NJ an unknown. In thinking of this
unknown we all become agnostics. We
only know God in his works, but we
are forced by science to believe with
perfect confidence In other than phys
ical. dynamic or electrical forces-
There II no middle term between abso-
lutte scientific belief In creative power
and the acceptance Of the theory of a
haphhxard coming together Of atoms.
Here scientific thought IL forced to &C.
cept the notion of creative power.
Forty years ago asked the great Lie
big duging walk In the country II
he believed that grass and flowers grew
solely as the result of chemical force.
He replied. "Not any more than l be-
lieve that chemical force can translate
book upon botany describing the
phenomena of vegetation" Every act
Of the will Is a stupendous miracle for
chemical. physical and mathematical
sctepce. II your intellect is strong
enough you will be forced to believe
in God. the foundation of all religion,
and you will zee that science is not at
all hostile to religion. Far from that,
1t Must be looked upon as its auxiliary.
Lord Kelvin.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
Before Going Elsewhere.

Good morning. Mr.. Highpricer'
greeted the friend, entering Mr.. High.
prices furniture store. II saw your
I'D. in the newspaper saying that you
would be pleased to have your friends
call In on you before going elsewhere
to buy. so thought I'd CALL"
VERY good" returned the apprecia-
tive Mfr. Highprice, rubbing his hands.
Nov. what can sell your
Nothing. l told you was going
elsewhere"
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
A Foraetmsnot,

Citiman-You ought to know some
thing about flora and that sort of thing.
Tell me, what is a "forgetmenot7' r
Subbubs-Why. it's piece Of string
that your wife ties around your finger
when You 60 In town on an Grand
Philadelphia Press.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
Fresh Water Fish In Germany

Fresh Water Fish In Germany.
German law does not permit of fresh
water fish being sold except when alive.
Therefore 1t IL common to see tanks Of
such Dish In the restaurant windows,
snd they are hauled In this way con-
siderable distances over Prussian rail-
ways. and shipments are made to Der.
lin from Lyons. in France, and from as
far south n Roumania.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12

Origin Of Yankee Pronunciation.
1t was these historic Suffolk families
who In the seventeenth century took
over with them to America the pecul-
iar Suffolk pronunciation out of which
has developed the modern seminasal
Yankee twang.-London Spectator.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12

Nine. x. wishes to secure new but
ler .You know how to serve the ta-
Bile and especially can you carve well?"
she asked nn applicant.
MADAM may rest assured of II" he
replied. when one has been ten years
a surgeons servant In n dissecting
room one ought to understand his bust
ness"
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
Deeply Affecting.

And when" said Mrs. Nuvoreesh.
those French pheasants came by sing.
ing the Mayonnaise 1t was too deeply
touching for words."-Success Maya.
zine.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
Unrequltsd Genius.

The world has never learned the
name of the genius who conceived the
Idea of spreading butter upon his
bread. combination of food elements
more palatable, more wholesome and
more universally popular than any
that the combined wisdom of nll the
professors who have ever lived has
been able to devise.-Epicure
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12

Husband ARRIVING with his wife at
the Azcarraga station Just as the train
steamed out-There! II you hadn't
taken such fearful time dressing we
shouldn't have lost that train. Wife
And II you hadn't hurried me 80 oil the
way here we shouldn't have such a
long time to wait for the next one
Philippines Gossip.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12

"This old world at best is only an
anvil and life sort of Plutonian
blacksmith. that, with varying blows,
strikes lis into form. The blow that
hurts us most may shape us best"
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12
It's ortojn,

II wonder who first said ITS better
to be born lucky than richr" queried
the young widow.
Some old fool whose young wife
married him for bis money, imagine"
rejoined the wise bachelor Chicago
News.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12

Great souls are not those who have
fewer passions and more virtues than
tho common, but those only who have
greater designs.-La Rochefoucauld.
The Meeker herald., 1908-09-12

This Gates Ajar' design is a hand
some one." said the tombstone man.
at Is just what want" said the
widow. He never shut a door In all
our married life without being told
indianapolis Journal.