davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

Harry Thaw says he will work if they will let him out of the bughouse, and this leads his friends to think that he is really and truly insane.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
A TIP.

If you know the soda jerl1er
 And your wink is understood, Hell just reach beneath the counter And he'll get you something good.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
TOO PoLITlc TO INTERRUPT.

From the Chicago Tribune.
 Police Justice-You saw that cock fight? Why didn't you stop 1t and arrest the men?
 Pohce Offcer-I did, VT anner-afther tn fight was over
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

T see where sprintly broke the worlds record for a 100-yard dash"
 That so?' queried the absent minded man. What was after him?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

"Pa, what is an anthropologist? "Why-er-heres dime. Run buy yourself some candy"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
PLAYING SAFE.

Did he accept the challenger" "He did; and as the challenged parslb- chose the weapons
 Swords or pistols?"
 "Toothpicks at ten yards.''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

Colonel Stewaft's dispute with a plumber may have occurred just aftcs hard freeze-up, when he had right to be disputatious and argumentativH to say the least.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

It is harder sometimes to climb the baseball percentage column than to climb high mountain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

The M. W. hats are good in keeping off dropping caterpillars, but no girl wants caterpillars to rest in the foliage she has paid dearly for.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

The President refuses to make pub lie the charges filed against Colonel Stewart
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

The French aeronauts are outclassed by the Wright brothers who are alike secretive and buoyant.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

John D. Rockefeller has been caught rebating at Rochester, and his totn fine may now cross the thirty-million- dollar line.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
A TROUBLED MAN.

Don't go about looking for trouble" said the chap who gives advice.
 .LoolkingI LooSingi" exclaimed the bald-headed man, irascioly. 'I don't have to look for it. Trouble calls me up over the telephone in the middle of the night, trouble knocks on my door the first thing in the morning, trouble swings to my coat-tais all day long and trouble will
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

The President claims to stand to the army in the same light that Speaker Cannon does to the House.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

Speaker Cannon has looked like Lin coin long enough. He should now try to act like him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
PROBABLY DITCHED.

Diogenes was out with his lantern.
 'Still looking for an honest man, pre- sume,' remarked a citizen.
 Nothing of the kind' snapped the philosopher. "I'm trying to find out what has become of the water wagon"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

Governor Hughes says he does not want four years of quiet and obscurity. He therefore declines to take second place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

Senator Raynor Is endeavoring to as- certain why Colonel Stewart is ma rooned in an Arizona desert.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

Madame Anna Gould seems to A unable to lose her prince even for a moment.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

Edwin A Abbey did not study the era of Quay when he painted pictures for the state house at Harrisburg.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
QUITE SIMPLE.

"she declares she knows everything he does"
 How do you account for that? ''He has her fooed.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

The railroad that admits 1t is pros porous is considered heretical
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

Governor Hughes declines to off, ciate as bob to the Taft kite.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

Texas is now trying to drive the book trust out altQsether.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
SHOPPING IN HALIFAX

gan to wonder then. thinking it odd that I'd struck two 10 per cent discounts in one mornings shopping.
 "At the third sto-shop, I mean; nearly forgot myself and said store; you mustn't do that in an English town, you know-I picked out something wanted for s1o I hesitated a moment over the price. and the young woman said:
 "'Of course, with the discount it's only s9'
 Mercy mel l said, what do you mean by your discount? If you only want s9 why don't you mark it that?'
 " You're a stranger here,' she said. Why, we always give 10 per cent dis count on everything
 "'All the shops?' I asked.
 "'All of them,' she said
 "'But what good does that do?' burst out. Why not mark all goods right in the first placer
 T" The people expect 10 per cent off, was her answer; and I couldn't get any more out of her.
 "why the people like it I'm sure I don't know, for it reduces shopping to a dead level. Takes all the fun and ex- citement out of it. Why on earth don't they vary their eternal 10 per cent off and make it Sh or 1-16 once in while and give the shopper a run for her money?
 "Stll, if you could see the women dress in Halifax you'd understand. They all dress alike; they're all dowdy. They don't care how their clothes fit, so l sup nose they don't care how they buy them"
 And the New York woman passed on in hurry to get to So and Sos depart ment store before all the hats Tor $s.iS had been grabbed up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
INFERENCE.

And just to hear the way they talk,
 You'd think they never had to walk.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
THESPIANs.

Most every actorine you see Says, "Frohman's bought play
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
HIS ONLY VIRTIIE

Here lies a well~known citizen
 Who loafed with all his might. And while he didn't earn his salt, He always voted right.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
TOO MUCH FOR PA.

Dear me! Lady poets ought not to write underwear poetry.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
SHOCKING

.Brierield, Ala. Paul Cook,
 Birmingham, Ala. How is this? This is spring, so we are told But in the morning-gee' it's coldl We put them on, then take em off, You know what-they're warm and softi'
 From 2. Lady Admirer. Dear me! Lady poets ought not to write
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19
RIPDIES

REPLIES.
 Tag day is a great improvement over Jag day which used to be Saturday. The chief complaint made against the reekaboo is that it is open to criticism. 'Worse Than Helr' is the title of an editorial in contemporary. Few peo- pie believe there is anything worse. There is nothing better adapted to give a man boise than umpirinS.
 PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-19

Entered at the Birmingham AIa., postoffice as second-elass mater uiusA act of Congress March g. lets.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-12-27
PROVERBS

One player having gone from the
room, a proVerb is selected by the 9TH
ers, and one word of it given in regu-
lar order to each person. If the
proverb is too short to go around the
whole company then begin again at
the first word and proceed around the
room.
The absent player then being re-
called proceeds to question the others
singly and each one must use in his
answer the word of the proverb he has
previously received.
Nothing venture, nothing have" The
questions and answers might be like
this:
as the proverb long one?"
First Player-"Nothing should be
too long for you to guess"
"Have. you ever played this game
before pc
Second Player-"Really, I cannot
venture to say"
"Are you fond of parlor games?"
Third Plaver-"Nothing pleases me
more.'
care you enjoying yourself this even
ing?"
Fourth Player-'I have enjoyed my
self thus far"
If the duestioner has not yet guessed
the proverb he continues his questions
until enlightened, when the player
whose answer has given him the clew
goes out of the room and becomes
questioner for the next proverb
chosen.
A rather noisy way of playing the
same game is to have all the players
at a given signal call out their words
in unison. leavin- the listener to dis
tinguish in the uproar some word that
will give him the key to the proverb.
The shouting may be repeated as often
as necessary.
In either method the one whose
words or answers lead to discovery be-
comes the next one to leave the room.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-12-27

the bears have disappeared in some
miraculous manner"
Then the fairy babe good-by to the
little orphans. But before doing so she
called upon another mother bear in
nearby cave and begged her to take to
her heart the motherless cubs whose
plight was so sad. The mother bear
willingly made room for the cubs of
her former good neighbor, the news of
whose death was a great blow to her.
"Why dear fairy" she said, holding
her own cubs against her breast, lit
might have been my own fate, had not
you come along as you did, for 1 was
just about to go out to look for food,
and was telling my little ones to re-
main snug indoors while I was away.
Oh, what if 1 had gone and been
killed, as my poor neighbor has been
slaughtered"
"Well," explained the fairy, you and
yours-and all polar-bear kind-w{ll
from this night be safe from the cruel
hunter. Stand up, my dear Mrs. Bear"
The mother bear arose, standing up
right on her hind legs; and the fairy
stepped in front of her, holding aloft a
tiny wand. Assemble about youI
Los Angeles herald., 1908-12-27

mother, little ones,' the fairy COM
manded the cubs. They quickly did her
bidding, and with a wave of her wand
the fairy caused them all to turn as
white as the driven snow.
They were much surprised when they
looked at each other and then at them
selves; but they understood the wisdom
of the good fairy. Now they could go
about by day and not be seen by any
one. Oh, what a delightful thing to feel
safe from the cruel hunters weapons!
Then the orphan cubs were called to
their foster mother and their brown
coats were changed by the fairy to
snow-white ones. And that night, all
over the frozen arctic and as far south
ward as the polar bear lived, the good
fairies went, changing coats of brown
and black to white, and thereby MAX
ing the polar bear safe in his own land.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-12-27
THE ALASKAN DOG

The dog is to Alaska what the horse
is to more civilized countries-the in
telligent, patient, faithful beast of bur-
den. He is of the Eskimo or "mala-
mute" breed, having been bred with the
wolf for endurance; or he is a husky
from the Mackenzie river.
Eskimo dogs are driven with harness.
hitched to sleds, and teams of five or
seven with a good leader can haul
several hundred pounds, if blessed with
a kind driver. In summer they have
nothing to DO but sleep, and find their
food as best they may. Along the
Yukon they haunt steamer-landings
and are always fed by the stewards
who can thus muster dog fight for
the pleasure of heartless passengers at
q moments notice.
With the coming of winter kind of
electric strength seems to enter into
these dogs. They long for the harness
and the journeys over snow and ice;
and for time they leap and frisk
like puppies and will not be restrained.
They are about the size of a st. Ber-
nard dog, but of very different shape;
the leader is always an intelligent and
superior animal and his eyes frequent
ly hold an almost human appeal He
is fairly dynamic in force and when
not in harness will fling himself upon
food with a swiftness and a strength
that suggest a missile hurled from
catapult. Nothing can check his
course and he has been known to
strike his master to the earth in his
headlong rush of greeting-although it
has been cruelty said of him that he
has no affection for any save the one
that feeds him, and not for him after
his hunger is satisfied.-From "Alas-
ka, the Great Country" by Ella Hig-
ginson.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-12-27

thetic heart in your little breast" said
the fairy. you do not think only of
your own future safety, but of others
welfare. Let me see-how can l ar
range so that the polar bear shall be
safe from the hunters? 1 have certain
powers, you know, to change in many
aspects animals and human beings"
"Why not make us all white-like
the snow?" cried the cub bear that
had spoken; then the hunters could
not see u.s.
"Ah! wisely suggested" declared the
fairy. "That 1 shall do, and this very
night, too. 1 shall summon my at
tendants-a hundred in number-and
endow each with the power to turn
every bear he or she sees within the
polar circle as white as snow. And
not only those living shall be made
white. but all the bears born in this
part of the world henceforth will be
of the same snowy coat. All! the Es-
quimaux will have more difficulty in
finding their prey after that They'll
see only the white of the snow and
icebergs about them, and will think
Los Angeles herald., 1908-12-27
GAME OF SILENT SUSAN

A S MANY children may play as can
n be conveniently seated in circle
IA in the middle of the room. Place
the chairs with the backs inward and
between two of them leave enough
space for a person to pass through.
All the players are seated except one,
who is called the director.
Inside the circle is chair, on which
Silent Susan sits Silent Susan is sup
posed to have lost her tongue. She is
dumb all through the game, or as long,
at least, as she is it, but she may
laugh or cry, or make any sound that
is not talking.
Now, the directors business is to
watch Susan and announce to the play
ers, who all have their backs to her,
what she is doing from time to time,
and then the players have to initiate
her.
Suppose she laughs, the director calls
out Susan says laugh!' and all the
players must laugh. Suddenly she
stops, and begins to sew, or to go
through the motion of sewing; then the
director says Susan says sew! ana
all the players must quickly stop
laughing and initiate her. While this
is going on all must be silent.
Then Susan begins to cry and the
director says Susan says cry!" when
all the players begin to cry, and keep
it up until Susan begins suddenly to
make the motions of playing the piano,
when at word from the director all
the players stop crying and move their
hands about as IL over the keys OF
ipano.
Susan may do anything she pleases,
and the players, who are told of it by
the director, must begin at once to
initiate her.
When she gets tired of giving the
players different things to do she
jumps up from her chair and, passing
out of the circle, begins to run around
the chairs to look for her lost tongue,
and all the players must get up and
follow her and help her hunt for it,
until she sits down, when they all do
likewise, except one, of course, who is
left without a chair to sit in, and that
player then becomes Susan for the
next round.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-12-27
If MY PAPA WERE SANTA CLAUS

If my papa were Santa Claus
Oh met oh my!
would be the happiest little girl
That any one did spy.
I would have large jointed dolly
With real hair upon her head
And eyes that closed gently
When she went with me to bed.
And a nice roomy doll house
All furnished up complete,
with a retlnue of doll servants
Dressed quite prim and neat.
A go-cart for my dolly
To wheel when we went out
And a nobby little bicycle
To wheel myself about.
A carriage and two ponies
To take my friends to ride.
Oh wouldn't we look just lovely
With our dolies by our side!
And wouldn't my dolies have dresses
with shoes, hose. bonnets and caps,
And combs to hold up their tresses
And some very fashionable wraps?
The shelves would be loaded with story
books
with covers of every hue,
Some would be bright fairy tales
And others that seemed more true.
1 would have a willow rocker
To rock my dolly to sleep
As I sang an old-fashioned lullaby
When the night began to creep.
MY wishes travel onward, and onward
Never seeming to pause,
And every one would be granted
If my papa were Santa Claus.
Los Angeles high school BE grade.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-12-27

introduce into an ordinary sentence
the better.
When everybody knows his word,
one player begins by asking a ques
ton of his neighbor on the left, who
is obliged in his reply to use the word
that has been given, as adroitly as
possible to avoid its detection by his
questioner. If the latter cannot dis
cover the word he pays a forfeit.
Suppose the word given to be
"idiosyncrasy," and that the person
questioning asks: DO you like to play
games?" A suitable reply would be:
"When hurricanes howl and icicles
form I enjoy games like this, but it is
an idiosyncrasy of mine not to rap
turously admire out-of-door sports
with. the thermometer at 80 in the
shade"
So by associating the real word with
several others equally unnecessary for
an ordinary reply to a question it may
be successfully concealed
Los Angeles herald., 1908-12-27
GIVEN WORDS

Every player whispers to his right
hand neighbor a single word; whatever
he pleases, only the more difficult to
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1908-10-30

industries of the state are not de-
veloped to the extent we find in the
older eastern states where child labor
legislation is in force. But Washing
ton is growing rapidly, and it is only
matter of a few years until our
manufacturing enterprises will be we'll
under way and then we will need leg
islation of this character. We had
better strike at the evil of child labor
before it occurs, rather than wait for
the commission of the offense. -
Is an Old Locomotive Engineer.
A. w. Perley was the next speaker
introduced by President Bryan. Mr..
Perley bears the distinction of having
been the engineer at the throttle of
the first locomotive engine which en-
tered Pullman twenty years ago, He
spoke of the affairs of the railway
commits ssion of the state with a precis-
ion of knowledge. and an accuracy of
viewpoint which is due to the fact that
he himself spent many years of his life
in actual railway service.
In the course of his address, Mr..
Perlev defended Mr.. Taft in the mat
ter of his policy in is uing injunctions
concerning labor.
Defends Injunction.
"Mr. Taft's policy in these matters
has been just said Mr.. Perley.
"The injunction for which he has been
most criticized was levied against the
American Brotherhood of Locomotive
Engineers, of which | am a member.
He ruled that labor has a right to
organize. He ruled that they have a
right to collect money for the purpose
of maintaining their cause. But he
firmly declared that the labor union
has no right to destroy property, and
restrain trade. These rulings have
been accepted as Just by the strongest
and most intelligent labor organiza-
tions of the country. Mr.. Taft was
Just, and right Discussing the
county ticket, Mr.. Perley made
strong plea in behalf of the candidacy
of O. E. Young. for state represent
ative.
Supports o. E. Young.
81 want to see every republican
candidate on the county ticket elect
ed, " he declared. "They are good
men, and deserve your support. Two
years ago I opposed Mr.. Young's can
didacy. am supporting him now,
because have been convinced that he
is the man for the place, and deserves
your suffrage. Mr.. Young will repre-
sent his constituents conscientiously
and ably if he is elected. "
Commends Primary Law.
Judge Miles Poindexter was the next
speaker who was introduced, and he
responded with an usnu sually able ad-
dress, in which he dwelt quite largely
upon national issues. and the duties of
a representative in congress. Judge
Poindexter has an ease of bearing, and
a minutely correct understanding of
the weighty political issues, which
brought high degree of commendation
from his audience. He referred with
weighty emphasis to the working of
the new primary law, and emphatically
and in unmistakable terms, declared
in favor of the law.
Privates are "the People"
"During the recent campaign for
nomination. we candidates on the state
and national ticket discovered that we
no longer were under necessity of con-
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1908-10-30
NOTRE DAME OR ST. LOUIS?

Recent communications from the
management of the Notre Dame foot
ball team state that the we'll known
eastern institution would like to meet
the State College on the football grid
iron in Spokane. The matter is now
under consideration by the local man
agemet.
The principal difficulty that is now
being experienced by Manager Nc
Croskey is the overcrowding of the
seasons schedule. The University of
st. Louis played game with W.S.C.
in Spokane last year on Christmas
day, and the matter of giving the Mis-
sourians return game in St. Louis,
this year. has been under favorable
consideration by both institutions for
many months. 1t has been quite diff
cult, however, to adjust the dates of
games with the Northwestern institu-
tions so that the St. Louis game could
be played.
If it comes to a show down. it is
more than likely that the st. Louis
game will be passed up in preference
to the game with Notre Dame. in Spo-
kane. Cold water has not yet been
definitely thrown on the st. Louis
gridiron fray, but among the players
at W.S.C. there is no overweening
to make the long eastern trip. Anx-
ious to get even for the defeat they
suffered last year, however, St. Louis
is strongly in favor of the game and on
their own initiative have already taken
up the matter of transportation for the
W.S.C. eleven, with railway officials.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1908-10-30
W.S.C. FOOTBALL TEAM DEFEATS MARINES a. TO 0
Larger Score Prevented by
Shortening Time. May
Play Notre Dame.

On an extremely muddy field and in
the presence of a large throng of W.
sc. rooters W.S.C. yesterday after
noon defeated the marine team from
Bremerton by score of Al to 0.
VS. c. outplayed the visitors in
every phase of the game, and larger
score was prevented by shortening the
time and putting in subs for W.S.C.
The W.S.C. players exhibited an i'm
provement over previous showings
which was almost marvellous. The line
men never failed to do their work, and
in the backfeld and on the ends there
was scarcely an error during the entire
game.
Two much muscle prevented the
Freshman-Sophomore tug of-war which
was to follow the game, from being
a success. The rope was stretched
across Lake De Puddle, but when the
classmen got down to hard pulling, it
snapped. Three trials were taken.
and on each occasion the rope broke
On account of lack of rope it was
necessary to postpone the event.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1908-10-30
Privates are "the People"

"During the recent campaign for
nomination. we candidates on the state
and national ticket discovered that we
no longer were under necessity of con-
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1908-10-30

sulting the brigadier generals, the
lieutenants, and the officers of the
voting commonwealth. Now we have
to talk to the private in the rear rank.
They are numerous indeed. Whether
we get the support of the officers or not
is not entirely consequential but if
the priyates vote for US, we know we
are the peoples choice, and feel that
we are really and truly the choice of
our constituents.
A very interesting part of Judge
Poindexter' address was that in which
he referred to the existing railway dis
elimination which is in force against
the business and farming population
of Eastern Washington. By bringing
forth specific instances of side rates
on shipments of coffee, carpets, nails
farming implements, and many other
articles in daily use by the population,
Judge Poindexter showed with con-
vincing force the enormity of the ex-
isting conditions; and with great en-
phasis asserted his belief in the need of
federal legislation preventing such
pernicious practices on the part of
common carriers.
Pullman herald. [volume] (Pullman, W.T. [Wash.]) 1888-1989, 1908-10-30
MADAME NORD|CA HERE
ON THANKSGIVING DAY
Noted Singer and Company in Concert
at College Arnory on Turkey Day.

1t was all planned one time that
Madame Nordica, the sweet singer,
would come to Pullman to delight an
Artesian City audience, but at the last
moment the engagement was cancelled
because of the illness of the madame.
Now. however, it is announced that
Nordea will come on Thanksgiving
day, and with her company will give a
concert in the college armory on the
afternoon of the annual turkey day.