The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-12-16


shoes and letting himself in with the
latch key, put his shoes In the re-
frigerator and set the strawberries
under the bed.
And then there was that occasion
during the spring of the incessant
rains, Bings went home one night
and put his dripping wet umbrella to
bed and stood himself up in the cor.
neg all night That, was the io
'Oh, that's nothing, interrupted
Melvill. Il had friend once who
wore false teeth. He was an artist
and a. dreamer, and he used to do
the most outlandish things. One
night ne took his wife to the theater,
went out between acts and forgot to
go back. He never once thought of
her until two hours later when she
came padding home I'm the rain and
well, of course he remembered
then!
And one night this same fellow
had been out with the boys until quite
late. He was an incessant smoker and
he still had the stub OF cigar in his
hung onto it like the proverbial pup
TO dahlia root and got ready for
bed. Finally he took tumbler from
the shelf, filled II with water and set
II on the window sill Removing his
cigar from between his lips. he put II
in the water The next thing he did
was to open the window and throw his
9ol 90 int he nj.
Feeling the need of night cap,
he trudged into the pantry and beg an
hunting for his jug in the darkness.
His wife had some kerosene In re-
( ceptacle much the same as that con
tanning his fire water and he got her
jug by mistake. Tipping 1t up, he
threw his head well back and let
about Ave or six big swallows gurgle
down his throat.
"Then he began to get hot inside
and realized that he had hit the wrong
jug. Letting out whoop that would
have awakened his grandfather had
he been buried In the same block, he
dashed into the living room and
turned on the light Groaning that he
was going TO die, he fell upon the
sofa and began to run his fingers
down his throat. His wife came rush.
ing from her room, and taking one
look at the jug, began to laugh
When he found out what he had
imbibed. his fear subsided. He had
taken kerosene for the Group many a
time when boy and grown fat ON 1t.
And the funny part Of 1t all was,
+, continued Melyill, making sweep
!. ing line with, his pen on, the back of
:. q design he was drawing, "he got a
taste OF kerosene that night and has
been kerosene M drunkard ever
Z sinee" ,,.is,,,, I'd, III g,a5if.
,vat "sd s,AHu pT:(7S afRod aII
.,,' .,.s1 s54 caehinnstlons. .r -aa,
A wise man never stops to argue
with polecat over sanitary condi-
A new York poet makes bon mot
rhyme with spot" A poet gets into
an awful tight corner some times
Indeed, he do!
long time-will the over-bearing Ice
man call daily and leave a small damp
spot on the back stoop.
4 4. 4
The saddest person at wedding is
mother, and the happlest is Little
Willie, who knows which way the
bride and groom are. preparing to
sneak out of the house and has his
plans laid accordingly
4 4 II
"Gist afore Christmas" dad can en-
= Joy himself II he submits genially tC
being robbed, All he has TO do is to
pay all the bills and smile. Then he
can flick4his ashes any old place and
use the best chair in the house for q
foot rest.
~, 600
Editor Renlgs.
A man at Vermilllon, d., while nut,
ting up a stove pipe the other day fsl
from his chair and sustained injurie.
from which he died In few hours-thai
settles II with us.-Arapahoe (Neb) Pi
oneer.
600
indian Name.
The name OF a town up In Michigan II
Bad AK That's helve nnme--must b,
Indian..--W oodbine ua,) Twiner.
Rat,,,Waso.uA