Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-05-22

mercy.
Mrs. Justwed-why are these eggs
50 small2 Grocer Dickelwurst-I t'ink
iey We're took from der nest too soon
alretty. Philadelphia Ledger.
"Whatd Jimmy give yer fer yer
birthday?" This here brass ring"
How'd yer know il amt nothin' but
brassy ''IIe give 1t ter me. "--Cleve-
land Leader.
Is your husband having any luck
At the race trackg'' "Some luck" an
swered young Mrs Torkins "He hasn't
.aught cold nor had his pockets picked"
Washington Star.
why is it27 asked the dear girl,
that the bridegroom's attendant is
called the best manT" II suppose it's
because he is the best or" growled the
tussy old bachelor.
Mother-You and Willie have been
AZ my cherries again. l found the
stones in the nursery. Johnny-It
wasn't me. mother. cause | swallowed
all the stones af mine
Muriel Would you marry for
money? Carsone-Not L; want
brains Mnriel-Yes. should think
so, if you don't want to marry for
money. Brooklyn Life.
Your love- lac cried, would give
me the strength TO lift mountains!"
Dearest" she murmured. 1T will only
be necessary FOR you TO raise the
dust Town Topics
Tell me, brother, is 1t possible to
let Robert know that am an heiressT
Has he proposed TO your" Yes"
Wei. you may be sure he knows 1t
already. The Gossip
at costs more TO live than 1t did
years ago." said the man who COM
lplains. YES" answered the man who
cnjoys modern convenlences, but it's
worth more" Washington Star
Professional Faster-I should like
to undertake fast of four weeks in
this show OF yours. How much will
you pay me? Snowman can't give
you any salary, but will pay for your
keep
what would yon do" asked the ex-
lcited politician, 'if paper should call
you liar aud theft" "Wen," said
the lawyer. ''if were you I'd toss up
a cent to see whether I'd reform or lick
the editor"
Miss Blondloek-~IIow dare you tell
J people my hair Is hleached? You know
) ii is false Miss Ravenwing Yes,
dear, know II U.s. told them 1t was
bleached before you got it,--philadel-
phia Inquirer.
II noticed she bowed to you. Is she
an old acquaintance" "Y-yes: we're
slightly acquainted. In fact, she's a
sort OF distant relation. She was the
FIRST wife of my second wife's husband"
Chicago Tribune
officer Flynn An so yez amt fake,
hey. How did yez lose yer soight2 The
Blind Person--Oh, | was once on the
police force with orders from my cap
tain not to sec anythin'. It got to be a
habit with me.--Pucl
TO be two windmills there. Pat-Thrue
for you, sir. Lord Lewson Why is
there but one now? Pat-Bedad, they
took one down to lave more wind for
t'othcr.- London Tit-Bits
He--Do yen remember the night 1
proposed to you? She--Yes, dear.
He We sat for one hour and you
never opened your mouth. She--Yes,
remember, dear. He-Ah, that was the
happiest hour OF my life.--The Catholic
Mirror.
Kindly Old Gentleman--Well my
little man, and what's your name?
The Little Man Please, sir. dunno.
The Kindly old Gentleman Bless my
soul, you don't know? The Little Man
No. sir. please. sir; mother got mar
ricd again yesterday.
Farmer Sacks Here's a letter askin
about board for the summer. an want
in 70 know is thar n bath In the house.
Wbat1l l tell 'ein, Mirandy? His Wife
Tell 'em the truth. Tell em If they
need bath we'd advise 'em TO take It
afore they come Harper's Bazaar
Every ballot nust be counted" the
first speaker had declared Il agree
with the gentleman you have just
heard.v began the one who followed,
but | go as far ns TO say that in GER
tain emergencies some or them must be
counted twice" Philadelphia Ledger
Whats the matter with that old
hemp asked the guinea fowl 'she
looks worried" "Oh," replied the ban
tam rooster, "sfe's a temperance crank,
md she's worrying for fear some OF
her eggs will be used in the making Of
eggnGgg. Catholic Standard and
/ Times.
Speaking of bad falls" remarked
Jones, II fell out OF a window once,
and the sensation was terrible. Dur
Ing my transit through the air real
IA fA.,.fxht xf .,...,.