The Irish standard., 1908-10-03
they used to be delighted to see him

'soe1u oi"oSS SOl d OFdCe, ana the
servants and herds were always the
richer by the doctors visit. One of
the latter class would accompany him
over the farm and point out to him the
haunts of the birds. If the doctor
aim was bad. his attendants would lie
sure to say: 'Ah, doctor, they were
too far away, or the wind was agin We,
or the cartridge was bad The miss
would be left on a hundred causes. but
the doctors sure aim was never called
into doubt A parsonage that otten
hung after the doctor on his shooting,
trips to carry the dead birds was Tar
ney ODca, known by the people un-
der no other name except Soda Wa
ter,' not. indeed. on account of his
love of temperance. but because OF the
opposite extreme. I myself had OF
the pleasure of being second gun witt,
the DOCTOR and certainly without fear
OF exaggeration. say that never en-
joyed anything moro in my life than
the scenes that took place between
barney and the doctor. Barney never
could do anything quite right. Wheth-
er he acted so on purpose or not. I do
not know, but if there was wrong
place In the world to be in, Barney
would be in it; and if there was a
wrong word to be said. Barney would
say it. When Barney would commit
an objectionable mistake the doctor
would ground his gun, and in a stern,
drill sergeant voice would say: Come
here, O'Dea: by the Great Frederick.
advance" Hearing the word of COM
mand. Barney would Immediately toe
the line. and taking off his battered
hat. would make abeisance by pulling
at long yellow curl that hung over
his forehead. While he went through
such maneuvers he would cast a
sleeps eye at me. as much as to saw,
I'm in for 1t again; say a word for a
poor fellow" The lecture over, We
advance again, and the very next flight
of birds the doctor was sure to have
consolation for him in the shane of
such words as these: "Begorra, doc
tor, that bird mustn't be right, 10, We
knocked a hatful of feathers out of
him; yc'rc the best shot that ever 1
saw barrin' one more. an he's not a
hundred miles away" (meaning mc).
The doctor liked Barney and cndeav-
ored In every way to cure him of his
passion for drink. Among some of the
remedies he tried was some medicine
Il forget the name. mixed with whis-
ky). Barney tasted it. and splitting /.
out. he said: "Arrah. doctor, bus IL
has a quare taste!" "Oh, drink IT,.
Barney, it's good Scotch whisky" re-
piled the doctor.
well. II you say it's whisky, doc
tor. ON principle couldn't refuse IT,"
and placing a flabby hand on his sto-
mach, Barney swallowed the cont =. g
of the tumbler, then wiping the back
OF his hand across his mouth went his
way. A short time afterwards. as the
doctor was driving over to the poor
house to do his mornings work. he
met Barney. Barney grew very c<cit-
ed at the Doctors approach, and tax
ing off his hat and pulling at his fore.
lock. he shouted out:
Doctor. Jewel, wan minute, p,aze.
I've a question to AK ye.''
well, Barney. what is it?"
"1s Scotchman's inwards the same
as mine?''
"Why do you ask me that question,
Barney?"
well, begorra doctor. after ye aav'
me that drop ov Scotch, there was a
rivolushin in my inside, an tha likes
ov 1t never was in this world aeore.
To settle it, TUX buttermilk in ity
warm an cowId state, mugfulls Of
strong tay an lasfiings ov sirrabout.
bud all was no use, and ye'd never
guess what settled It,"
mo, Barney"
well thin. I'll tell We, twas war
half glass of Muldoon's bad whisky I
towld me state to Tracey, the black
smith, an he said: 1t was all OWE
to the formashun ov me stomach
mine, he said was different to q
Scotchman's. an that's the raisin l
axed We. Bud iv you ever have Jain
or ache, doctor, try Muldoon's tim
year -ould, an iv it doesn't cure We at
wanst. it will kill ye outright"
If there was one thing the doctor
hated TO do most Of all others It vas
to extract tooth. He seldom did 1t,
and If he did 1t was only after the
greatest persuasion on the sufferc-'n
part. ITS the dentists work. not
mine." he would say, land you will
have to wait until Thursday Uhc day