The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1908-12-10
Mrs. Tadd has a new wrinkle"


@When your foot's asleep does 1t really
hurt, or is 1t only dreaming it hurtsT
Philadelphia Inquirer.
stella-He threatened to do some
thing rash when / refused him.
Bella-Goodness. he may propose fS
you again.-New York Sun.
DO you give your wife an allow
ance. or does she ask you for money
when she wants itY
Both. "-Cleyeland Leader.
! Mrs. Gramercy-W What do we need
for dinner7
Bridget-shure mum. OF tripped
over the rug an we need a new set OF
diEhes-Puck..
1T takes baby mos two years to
learn to talk" said Uncle Eben, IAN
den it takes de res OF it's lifetime to
learn to keep from talkin' too much :
Washington Star.
Mrs. Peckem-Here's an invitation %
my cousins wedding. VIII you got
Peckem-No. hate weddings. | some
times wish | hadn't attended my own.
Spare Moments
she-Frankly. now If you had to
choose between me and a million. what
would you dor
Held take the million. Then you
would be easy.-Life.
Cailer-So your cook has passed
away 10 better placer
Hostess-Yes. but / don't know II
she'll stay; poor Bridget was very hard
to suit-Boston Traveller.
Benevolent Old Gentleman am sor-
~, Johnny. TO see you have black eye.
Promising Youth-You 20 home and
feel sorry for your own little boy-he's
got twoi-Philadelphia Inquirer
Boreleigh-Yes. Miss Doris. suffah
dweadfuliy from insomnia. y know.
Miss Doris (suppressing a yawn)-
Did you ever try talking to yourself.
Mr. Boreieighf-Boston Transcript
-She's got a FUTURE -can she actY'
NO. but she can work her eyes better
han any lady in the business. and as
or wearing swell clothes-gee! she
souldn't do better II she was twins"-
life.
PorpoIse-what is the whale blow
Ing aboutf
Dogfsh-oh. he got so many notices
FOR his feat in swallowing Jonah he's
been blowing ever since.-Boston Tran
script.
Miss Antique-Just think OF the
nerve OF that impecunious fellow to
propose to me.
Miss caustique-Nerve7 Why. it was
absolutely recklessness- Milwaukee
News.
Weary Walker see Eve hundred
aore men has been t'rown out OF
york.
Tired Traveler-Gee, Dere's gettin'
0 be too much competition in our bush
less.-Puck.
Hiram Greene--Whaf did your sister
ay when you told her l was going to
lake speech in the town hall 20
ights willie-She didn't say nothin':
be Just laughed till she had Mysteries
STRAY Stories
Trotter (who has been abroad)-So
Iaud and Charlie finally married7 Miss
omer-Yes. Trotter--I suppose they
re happyl Miss Homer-Undoubtedly
icy each married some one else.-Chi-
lgo Daily News
There goes a man who once Offered
make me Independently rich" ~But
; didn't appear to know you. At least
; gave you no sign OF recognition"
Tou see. / refused to buy the stock"
hicago Record-Herald.
Nov. Pat" said magistrate to an :
d offender, what brought you here /
sain7" ~Two policemen. sor." was the /
comic reply. Drunk, suppose"
leried the magistrate. ayes. sor." said I
It: both av NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. ,
THAT politician refuses to commit !
mself." said the able assistant ''Ie
Us he's on the fence" YES. answer
Senator Sorghum. "and judging from q
, uneasEness | should say 1t was a {
rbed wire fence"--washlngto Star. Z
"Politeness costs nothing" said the
an OF ready-made wisdom
81 guess" answered Mr.Cumrox. =
hat you never had any experiences
Ith these cafe walters who regulate !.
cir politeness by the size OF the tip." ..
Star.
every bit Of food on this table," I
Id the serving lady TO Lamson, as r
sat down TO eat at the church sup n
r. 'was cooked by your wife" Il
"0h, don't mind" rejoined Lamson n
Intly, I'm not a bit hungry any y
Iy."-New York Times. !,
'you say this man stole your coatg" a
ia the magistrate. do under h
md that you prefer charges against a
mr. W
Wei. no. your honor" replied the ST
Iintifr. ~ prefer the coat. II It's all II
same to you. sIr."-phlladelphia p
ess. N
OF course" said the optimist. IF = =
n gets into the habit OF hunting u
uble he's sure TO flnd t."