The Delta independent., 1908-05-22

uusCailu. sammy. noticed DOttie
of claret on the sidebonrd You might
step down and take u nip"
But the last time you were here
yon called me an old bum because I!
took a nip"
That was just an old woman's way.
you know. Bum. Why, should like
to hear any one refer to you as bum
in my presence.''
Mr. Bowser felt weak and wabbIy.
and he went down and took IL nip-two
of 'em. When he returned the mother
in-aw reached for his hand and said:
Yes, Sammy; | got to thinking on
New Years day what u good man you
were, and found myself feeling sorry
that | had ever said anything to hurt
your feelings. | came this time to beg
your pardon and promise to be diff
ferent mOtherin-law hereafter. Can
you overlook tie past, sammy"
do you mean that you didn't come
down here to bulldOze and blow
around:'' he asked
why. Sammy. how could | think OF
such Il thiug?"
Once. when bought a pig, yon said
years old"
Then must have been crazy. I'd
take another nip of that claret If ]
were you"
Mr.. Buwser went down and took an
other nip-two of 'em.
II may huve said mean things. Sam
my, but never meant them said the
mother-in-law as he returned Il hive
made up my mind 10 begin this year
right"
Il bought some chickens, and you
said hadn't the brains of Il grass
hopper"
is it possible:''
Il wanted 10 clean house once as you
came here, and you picked up the
butcher knife ands ordered me out.
You said you would as soon murder me
as not
Upon my word. but l must have
been crazy
And once you told Sarah right be-
fore me that if you had TO live with
such husband as ain you'd pour hot
lead into his ears while he slept"
Then ought to have been sent to
an asylum. Say, sammy there's n
bottle OF claret ON the sideboard."
Mr. Bowser went down and saw that
she was correct, and he took nip
two Of EN-.
Begged His Forgiveness.
''Sit right here, and we'll hold hands
and talk" said the motherin-law as
he came back in u melting mood. Il
want you to forgive me If I've ever
hurt your feelings"
Il will"
Il want you TO know that think
you are the best man on earth"
"rhauks"
"And want you to think me the
best woman"
Il do
"Ncyer again, Sammy. will cal
you a bum. Never again will draw
an TX on you. Never again will
threaten you with the butcher knife
or say that you haven't the brains of :
grasshopper | want love and peac,
and harmony between us. want th'
whole world TO know how proud OF
you | am. Sammy, let us sing:
For he's a jolly good fel-low-
Iof > Al Joi-As boNA Aei-ieN
Mr.. Bowser went down for another
nip-two of em-from the bottle, but
found ii empty He therefore put OF
his hat and overcoat 10 renew the sup
ply. He saw two mothers-in-law and
went out of two doors. There were
two gates, and he hadn't proceeded 8
hundred feet when he leaned NJ
against two fences TO think il over
Pretty soon what seemed like two po
licemen came along. and both of them
said to him;
We'll. old cock, what are you doing
here:'
My names Bowshcr"
"Wcll:'
"Muzzer-law has come down TO shet
me"
"Yes:"
And shay. she's 'cr best Old gal II
all zhis world. She begs my pardon
beg hers, and
She's a jolly gool t-e-l-l-o-w-
She's jolly good f-e-l-l-o-w-
Shes a jol-
SHAY, officer. put me in my lizzie
bed and tell everybody zhat died OF
too much happiness" NJ. QUAD.
Sign of Preeoeity.
First Magazine Editor-l believe my
youugSter is cut out for an editor.
Second Editor-Why so;
First Editor-Everything he gets his
hands on he runs and throws into the
stebasket.-Lippincott' Magazine.
Done Brown.
Scott-So Brown has been bunkoco
in mine deal. Too bad. | rather like
Brown.