The sun., 1908-04-18
QUALIFICATIONS OF A HOSTESS.
She should Enjoy Herself and he Happy
In Entertaining Her Friends.


Hostesses may be divided into two cate
gories; those who are obliged by their posi-
tion to entertain a great deal and those who
do so voluntarily,
Among those whose position oblges them
to entertain there must be some who fuliil
these obligations with indifference and even
repugnance; nor Is il unlikely that some OF
the guests circumstances more or lees force
on certain women should be uncongenial to
them. Moreover, even among those whose
deliR Int il is TO sm'round themselves with the
moving spirits of the day, there arc sohe
who. Just because they are hostesses, says
Lady Grove In the London ChroHicit' 40
not always control the temperamental
sharpness of their tongues.
When. therefore a writer maintained that
hostesses capable OF exposing the weak
spots In their guests characters OF conVer-
sational abilities were hardly more common
than murder he had not, | think, when
making use Of this CORY Illustration, quite
weighed his words, nor perhaps STUDIED
the lives OF some famous historic hosteeses
few of whose utterances. describable as
"snubs, are certainly on record.
was once cony ersing with a irend oi
mine and we were laughing over the
fierce denunciation ! have quoted above,
when | said: Il am afraid we both know
hosteases who are not above taking de-
light in making their guests feel small.
NO, indeed, he replied, Il expect We nave
both writhed under the lash OF --- stongue'
then proceeded TO relate the treatment a
Young friend and relative OF mine expert
enced az the hands Of hostess,
The friend in question is certainly
clever and perfectly modest young man
in his way too and as far as he has gone
he has already achieved some distinction
He was making his hostesss acquaintance
for the first time, having been presented
TO the household by her son. No sooner
seated at what portended 10 be a very
solemn feast than she turned on the young
man. and addressing him across the table
demanded Of him; What do you think OF
war; Feeling the eyes Of tho assembled
company on him my young friend VINO
could have acquitted himself very well had
| he been prepared to hold forth on the sub
| ject, stammered out: Isn't that rother a
large subject?r and was promptly snapped
up by his amiable hostess with the stlgrnauo
remark: "Oh, | SEQ you prefer small ones:
Never, The boy told me. had he been made
to feel 30 uncomfortable and without rude,
ness to his hostess he was ncapacltated
from defending himself.
/ have given one instance OF poisoned
shaft shot, as | venture 10 think' ehtIey
without justification, but there Is pleas
| anter. and | am fully prepared 70 agree
undoubtedly more usual, side OF the quail
| ties of hostess There are, think most
people will agree, two distinct types both
sIccessful In their way. There Is the self
efaoing hostess and the all pervading
one. The former is visited for her guests
| sake and the latter for her own variations
| Of the two types merge, Of course, into each
other, and am inclined TO think that the
| ideal hostess il a combination.
Then there IL the political hostess. In
the practically obligatory functions where
| sba sees sUarIns Of guests, many OF whom
| are unknown TO her except as the guest OF
| these occasions, passing through the rooms
a. ,i.,, rass through her life without leav-
| ing a trace Of their personality on her per-
aonality, II IL difficult for her to retain any
specially distinguishing CHARACTERISTIC az
! hostess gracious and smiling welcome
| the additional glimmer OF interested recog-
milton and then the task Of welcoming fresh
guests in seemingly endless current. 80
| bemusinR and unaHhusing IL the task that
| 7 once heard the complaint made that at
large garden party where we'll known
| noiitical body was being entertained by
| fady - she greeted one OF her cousins
with How do you do, sir, ] hope you are
ali quite well, and he was passed on before
| he had time 10 protest aBalust lu'o iViho'
mode OF address.
The habit Of passing on your guest with
out apparent haste or desire TO intimate
| that YOU have no time for individual con.
yersatlon, and yet securing for yourself
immunitv. becomes 80 inveterately me-
chsnical that I have a relative who after
shaking hands gently leads you. az It we're,
| aside. sometimes jestingly protest
against what ! call this public junction
manner being introduced into the most
| private Of private life. But the dutee.
OF political hosteeses do not begin and end
in large Official functions. Perhaps IN
dividuallty ia not allowed as much freedom
Of scope as In the non-pollh teal hostess:
but the non-offioial political hostess, OF
whom there are many, is freer than the
! vigorously Official one.
| but have no hesitation in saying that
! the first qualification Of hostess is that
she should enjoy herself and be happy In
the entertaining OF her friends. Plautudee
as 10 the desirabihty Of sinking self In the
| interests OF your guests are 10 me 20 much
cant The filssy, OveranXious hostess never
succeeds in making her friends feel com,
Portable and at home. The cheerful ana
| ao-called casual hostess is far more likely
20 succeed. As happiness comes from
| within and radiates outward, the total
sum Of happiness and well bcing hs certain
70 be greater II the hostess is thoroughly