The San Francisco call., 1908-04-12
A Fine Banquet

II you have ever wondered at the pre-
cision and balance of the Princess the
ater orchestra's performances; if you
have marveled at the perfection Of
rhythm on which the players agree as
one man. and the purity of tlton2tion
which surrounds the singers with In
strumental accompaniment like a pure
white light; if you have ever observed
the decorum of the orchestra players
speech. it's freedom from too vigorous
words and it's classic propriety, you
need wonder no longer. The secret
came out, as many secrets do. at a
banquet last week The dinner was
given at a swell uptown restaurant and
the members of the Princess orchestra
were the hosts. The menu started with
Toke point oysters frozen to death and
a cocktail, and went through delightful
courses which included braised squad.
pompano terrapin, and many other sim
liar things, not to forget cases and
cases of bubbles.
saw the menu and asked Harry
James. who directed the banquet, how
they did 1t.
III show YOU" he said. taking me
to a large placard hung cOnspicuously
under the stage where the dressing
rooms are.
A formida Bile heading read:
List of Princess Orchestra Fines
count for the orchestra's perfections Of
playing and department. Here are the
fines:
Sour note, 5 cents; picked note. 10
cents; missing cue, 25 cents; leader,
quadruple; taking water out of instru-
ments during a difficult passage, Is
cents.
That" James explained. "is directed
against the fellow who hasn't mas
a ma a nd 10
his delinquency by fussing with his in
strument until the trouble is all over.
Putting rosin on the bow, Is cents, is
the same thing. Here is a bad one"
said James, pointing to Looking at an
other brother when you make a mis-
take. 10 cents" "and here's one they
get me on. Leader looking at wrong
man when mistake is made, 25 cents. 4"
Taking Walter Damrosch James Sc
riously when he is raving. 500.
we have never been able to catch
anybody doing that" sighed James
Then followed: Profanity clause, %
cents per syllable; in orchestra room.
half rates Booze clause. few drinks
10 cents; one eye closed, 25 cents;
'soused,' so cents: paralyzed,' S2."
noticed that this last fine had been
raised from 81 to 81 for reasons.
doubtless, too painful to discuss. A
member appealing a fine to three of
his brothers and then found guilty shall
pay double"
I'VE have only had one case Of ap-
peal" said James, 'and he was clearly
innocent, but his insubordination
needed treatment, so he was fined dou-
bic. That was Gerald Kenney."
For the serious offense of Grabbing
an act a fine OF % cents is imposed.
Grabbing an act means to do anything
not set forth in the foregoing schedule
which by any process OF reasoning can
be construed Enable. Manager
Campbell is not overlooked on the
schedule of fines. This is his: For
failure to provide a large enough audi
ence to give proper appreciation to the
most efficient and untiring efforts of his
company and orchestra. so cents"
I'VE let Campbell off easy" said
James, because we like to collect the
fine."
Look at the menu of that banquet"
said James. "and then let me tell you
we were three months getting the mon
ey to provide it. The boys got so good
they never swore; nobody was ever
late, and blue notes, picked notes and
sour notes became as scarce as sharps
in d fiat. Then they took to fining me,
and you bet they collected the money.
But it all went into a contribution box.