Los Angeles herald., 1908-09-06

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Rule might possibly not be fake after ALL you're
doo for bump.
= I'VE got ours. 1t come In the night. 1t usual
ly does.
Il had just rolled the other side and was
getting nicely started the second lap of the Nor
pheus handicap, when heard noise that sounded
like the end OF the world.
II come out of it., and fetched Vertigo kick.
you're on your back holored in his ear
But then the noise come again. and knowed I
was wrong. And additional proof come in another
minute for the house was yanked right off from
over me and ! gazing up into the starry heav-
ems and wondering what had happened.
And then it burst forth in all its fury. The air
was filled with wild, discordant yow1s The red
wood trees was falling like grain before the patent
reaper; and ID. T. menagerie could be heard In
a little concerted specially that sounded however.
feeble and unimpressive in comparison to the main
noise
ut come to me in a flash. 1t was Revert We had
injected too much elephant and rhinoceros! Our
1mpetuousness had made us incautious. Alas! How
true it is that careless work carries its penal
ties.
II lay there in the Cal1forny midnight and my
union suit thinking these things when, all OF
a sudden dipodocus, who had just finished nlling
the middle distance with our coop of 1ackassowa-
ries, got his lamps me.
horrid snort, he threw the last 1ackassowary
straight up Cassyopeers chair and charged at me-
"It took less than q fraction of a split second
leave the wire. Vertigo was already stand
ing in the middle of what once had been the room.
combing his whiskers with shoe and staring help
legsly about.
"The horstrichesl" yelled at him. as I new
past
"A word to the wise, you know; and he was wise,
all right. and getting wiser minute.
1.-The barnyard sight. Rover had done
clean job. There was just one horsetrich left out
of all the strange creations of Vertigos great gen.
ius. Even the diplodocus old lady contri-
button to the festival.
II grabbed the horsetrich by one wing and Verti-
go he grabbed the other. We swung ourselves up
on his back, in 'front.' and stuck our heels into
its sides. 1t responded nobly to encourage
ments and slid OF down the valley at rate of speed
would have had the Empire State Express look
ing like a traction engine.
But did we lose the diplodocus? Never your
immortal life! He hadn't missed our steeds tail
feathers by foot when we started forth from the
barn yard. AS we passed what had once been our
happy home, he spreading himself for further
ORDERS emitting the most blood-chilIing yelps at
every leap; and every third jump his kangaroo
blood would assert itself and he'd slam his tail
down on the ground and give himself push and
hurte through the air for good ninety foot.
The memory or that ride Is with me yet, par
ticuary after bedtime snack of pigs feet and ice
cream, mince pie and Welch rarebt Often
in the still watches. awaken the house with weird
yells and the frightened boarders running to
my room to nnd me astride the radiator, urging it
on to frantic endeavor, while the cold sweat runs
down my paId somnambulistic visage in streams,
by heck!
las we flashed by the end of the valley could
hear those frghtful yowls coming nearer and near
a% IA0Jr nd UTA Nuar .
ground at the rate OF at least three miles Per
minute and it required all my skill to keep my
place.
Il clutched our faithful horsetrich around the
neck. /On we raced, and on, and on heard
a shrI yell in my ear Vertigo's hand suddenly
slipped from the waistband of my union suit. Our
steed (ours longer, alas but now mine alone)
pressed on more swiftly and knew Vertigo was
gone. Poor Vertigo Poor, poor Vertigo!
He come down three days later in San Antonio. Tex
as and broke up of the most successful revival
services they'd ever had there
Another fifty or seventy-nve miles. and felt,
rather than heard, diplodocus again at heels
stole hurried glance over my shoulder Yes there
he was, his barred. gstening teeth not yard away.
his little eyes flashing venomously. He made
swipe for me-and missed. Another-and sudden
Iy my poor horsetrch was yanked out from under
me and was going alone through the air.
Il lit in a small but well ventilated hole In the
ground that turned out to be the other end OF the
Mammoth Cave. 1T too small for the diplodo-
Gus to enter That is the only thing that saved my
life.
For three weeks subsisted fish, They were
blind and cinch to catch; though much harder to
eat. And at length I found by a guide who
taking party OF school-teachers from Beebe,
Indiana through the simplest rsmhcations OF the
wonderful burrow. 1 delrious, they told me,
and sadly emanc1ated: and when they discovers me,
I'm setting on a stalagmite with blind tadpole in
each hand, singing in feeble accents. However,
know nothing of all that myself for was out of
my head for several weeks
He ceased
but did you go back?" queried.
He eyed me with squelching scorne
"Did ever go back!" he repeated. did I ever
go back!" And then, Say. what do yo utake me
for, anyhow, hay?"
l didn't answer his question 1t would not have
been polite. And, besides he was much bigger