davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-11-01

wife, or refrain from admrinS those things on other women.
 Dresses and good looks seem trivial things, perhaps. in a world in which so much that is important goes wrong, But nobody knows what suffering women go through, yAarnins for the admiration of their husbands, and deprived of those things which they feel would make them attractive.
 How different the man. is rom the womanl
 Women live with thin, scrawny under sized insignificant, bald husbands; they praise those husbands constantly. 1T ne can't grow beard then the wife hates boards If he has a beard, like the mane of d roaring lion, then the wife thinks the beard is "so manly. If the hus-
 band is bold the wife thinks that it is a sign of brains and refinement, or says she thinks so She even points out the
 fact that Zulus and burglars are never bald.
 If the husband is a thin1egged, narrow
 shouldered little person. the wife hates
 mere brute strength. If the husband IS
 as wide as Jeffries and as tall as Fair banks. then the wife studies up Her cules. and is always asking the husband in nublc to double up his arm and let peopIe feel his muscle, or to swell out his foolish chest.
 What do husbands do? They ask their poor little dumpy fat wives if they can't '.pull themselves together a little, and "haye some style" If the tips of their wives noses get red in the early morn ing. instead of ignoring that, they talk about it, and give sage advice. They tel
 their wives about new gray hairs and
 wrinkles
 Truly. it is wonderful the patience that wives have with husbands, wonderful how they stand them. We sincerely hope that Charles Froh- man will parade this play, The Thief, all over the United States, in all the cities and towns, and compel as many husbands as possible to see it.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-11-01

enjoyed without the aid of lbretti or an interpreter It is a rapid-fire medley of song story, dance with negro melody, darlxy fun, the buck dance. the cake-walk, stunning specialties and coon shouts happily interspersed and climaXed by se-
 lections from the standard operas
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-11-01
ADJUSTMENTS.
At the Jefferson.

Monday, November 2- "The s Thief" si Tuesday, November 3-Florence s Davis, in Under the Greenwood {; Tree" &
 Friday and Saturday and Satur- s day matinee, November 6 and 7- o Human Hearts, s
 At the Biiou. s All the week, with matinees 9 Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday s In Old Kentucky" s
 At the Majestic. & All the week-High class vaude- 8 vile. s
 At the Gayety. s
 All the week-The Golden Crook s company. in La Viye.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

From the Chicago News.1
Is quail the favorite dish of cow
ards?
People waste a lot of valuable time
in foolish arguments.
A two-faced woman is more danger
Gus than a bare-faced lie.
Music isn't necessarily fragmentary
because 1t comes in pieces.
A man who claims kin with a pes
simist displays poor Judgment.
If time is money. prisons should be
great financial institutions.
Why is 1t that we hear of so many
good people and meet so few?
When a man begins to make a fool
of himself he is apt to work over
time.
A rabbit doesn't consider his left
hind foot lucky when it Is caught in q
trap.
Never use third person as a phono-
graph to tell e man what you think Of
him.
Many a girl is relegated to the spin
ster class because her mother acted as
her campaign manager.
After a man has knocked around the
world for a few years without meeting
with success he begins knocking the
world.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11
WHEN FREDA WAKES.

When Freda wakes, the days bright eye
ma! mas scarce iliumed the eastern sky.
me busy swallows heath the caves
Are Just astir, and through the leaves
Inc morning zephyr steals and quakes.
When Freda wakes
Mnen Freda wakesVher maiden charm
6eing startled by the clocks alarm-
she goes down in her brief attire
Ana hustles up the kitchen fire
Win husky arm the furnace shakes,
When Freda wakes.
Wnen Freda wakes she starts a song
ANA Keeps 1t up the morning long,
NY pillows wet with bitter tears
us vain FOR me to stop my ears.
When Freda wakes.
When F,reda wakes she slams the door
ana Kicks the cat across the floor.
Sne droos the griddle on the sink.
aSne does it Just for spite. think.)
Inc r1dgepoie of the building shakes
When Freda wakes.
Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11
QUAKER MEDITATTONs.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.l
OF course, the pugilist has a right to
swing his left.
The average man has his price. es-
pecially the foreign nob1eman.
Does the girl who elopes allow her
enthusiasm to run away with her?
1t is human nature to be enthusiast
tic over the things We don't have to
do.
Perhaps the man who never marrfes
prefers to fight LIES battles sinsle-
handed.
The mountains should be cool In
summer. At any rate. they still con-
tinue to wear their frs.
Blobbs-"BJones Is q salesman FOR n
complexion powder concern" Slobbs-
"Sales under false colors, eh?''
Tommy-''Pop. what are prejudicesy.
Tornmys Pop-"Prejudices my son. ara
merely other peoples opinions"
Elderly Female-''Do you guarantee
a good nkeness?" Photographer-"No
madam. but I guarantee satisfaction .
You should remember that I am
entitled to half the road" said the Az
tomobilist- Yes, but the trouble with
you Is you always want the middIN
hail. replied tine horseman
II don't believe playing n harm
would quite satisfy me In the next
world" remarked the strenuous man
Perhaps shoveling coal would snit vo,.
battess' suggested his friend
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11
KANSAS COAAENT

IDEALS OF THE NEW GRADUATE.
This is the season of pink ribbons
and budding beauties. It is the har-
vest season of the schools and the
homing season of the academies. the
colleges and the universities. What
a happy season it is, to be sure-when
all the world looks so bright and
cheerful-when the tired boy and girl
see rest and recreation ahead for a
few months at least
r The school is a great institution
an institution that brings happiness to
parents and rfpened fitness for the
affairs OF the world to their children.
The graduating custom never gets old
or stale or Objectionable. All the
world likes to sit in the body of the
opera house or church or auditorium
and listen to the accepted students
precious to them for a few days, but
one that will be soon forgotten. Few
like the pieces, but everyone relishes
the innocence behind the piece-the
sincerity with which the young man
denounces the ills of government and
the eloquence with which the young
woman contems the follies of society.
We all encourage them in their de-
fusion and would give everything we
possess if they could always live in
the world Of idealism that ends with
the diploma and the friendly bouquet.
The students Of today will be the
workers Of tomorrow-the freshmen
in the university of the world. The
dawn Of reality will be on them and
the real business of life will begin.
They will need friends y and stout
hearts, and we hope they will have
both. They will begin the actual task
OF learning. and what is harder, per-
haps. the task of unlearning. They
Will find that some of their ideals will
not mix with the realities and the first
test of their strength will have to be
made. The weak ones will fail, and
maybe fall, but the strong ones will
succeed. One may regret the years
he has given to education and con-
slider them lost. but they are not. If
ne is weak with an education, he
would be infinitely weaker without it.
If he was strong without an educa-
ton, he will be infinitely stronger
with it. There is nothing
lost in either case, but there is a
whole lot gained.
The first thing the graduate must
learn is this. that he is master of
nothing until he is proved. He may
consider himself At to go into the
counting room or the newspaper Of
flee or the store, but he will have no
face value until he proves his
capacity to meet the requirements OF
the duty he takes up. His diploma
will count for practically nothing
His employer will not even look at it.
but he will look closely into his man.
ners and methods and inclinations
and If they are favorable the battle
is half won.
The coming crop Of graduates will
their school days to find exactly where
the bottom is at and to commence
there when they get their diplomas
Wichita Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11
JOURNAL ENTRIES

A real hair-raising book would be
treatise on the care Of the scalp.
=
When a lamp is in parlor with
couple it is put out because two Is
company and three's a crowd.
\ y
Axiom in Emporia physics: When
two icicles are grated together they
make almost as much heat as Victor
Murdocks Long-Bristow antf-coloric
senatorial spindles.
y n
A mans silk hat that costs eight dol
lars probably looks expensive to wo-
man because there is no feather on ut.
y y
When a farm hand puts pitchfork
behind his ear every time he stops
work that's a sign he was once a book
keeper.
X X
Many folks would like to take their
gold with them when they die. One
reason 1t would do them no good is be-
cause it would melt.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11
UNCONSERVED RESOURCES.

To call the Sixtieth congress "bil
lion dollar congress" at this stage of
the game is unfair 1t is only half
the truth. or about that. Its first ses-
sion has proved itself a billion dollar
session. What its second session may
do-will depend upon the outcome of
the election. This session, just closed.
has authorized the expenditure of
$40, 100000 for public buildings, of
1924, 100000 for the postal service;
of $300.oOO.o0o for the army and
navy, pensions, Notifications, etc
and that would have been at least un-
told millions more if the president
and Mr.. Hobson could have had their
way-of numerous items in eight
figures for various and sundry pur-
poses, in addition to the vast sums
annually needed-and we know not
for how many years-for the con-
struction of the Panama canal.
We are big and rapidly growing
nation, but faster than our income
grow our expenses. We still have a
national debt of billion dollars,
which fact would be less startling
were it not growing. at present, at the
rate of one-twentieth its bulk a year.
1t is easy for some not to worry, to
refuse even to notice that we are not
keeping our expenses within our in
come, but is it business?
To the assemblage of governors
and other wise men the president
talked more than sensibly few weeks
ago about the waste of our natural
resources. Did he not omit mention
of one branch of resources of which
he might have fittingly spoken, our
financial resources? Probably it is
old-fogyish and pessimistic to call at
tention to their unconserved con-
dition, but there are some who will
persist in doing it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11
AYHAWKER JOTS

The Pratt county high school gradu-
ated fourteen girls and four boys. That
is a ten strike for the girls.
The Sterling Bulletin has a new
typesetting machine and it has
changed the appearance of the paper
considerably.
The farmers of Atchison county are
mad because the assessors reports
show that real estate in that county
is valued at less than that of Doniphan
county.
Ellinwood has sent word to the state
free employment bureau, saying that
$50 men will be needed in that vicinity
to harvest the wheat, which will be
ready about June 10.
Congressman Reeder tells a story of
a pretty smart fellow who once lived
in Kansas. The law required a settler
to build house with q board floor and
board roof. SO this fellow dug into
the bank a space of three feet wide
and six feet long, and put poles across
the top for a roof. Then he sharpened
stick and bored holes in the ground
OF the dugout; next he bored holes
through the roof, and made an aff1-
davit that he had a bored floor ana a
bored roof.
Clay Center feels so jubilant over
securing an appropriation for a pub
lie building that the Times actually
believes that a Town Row can be
avoided. 1t says: Here is one thing
that the Times wants to suggest:
When the postoffice building which
the town is to get is located, let us not
get into fight as to where It is to be
located. There is enough matter for
rejoicing over the fact that the town Is
to get a $4,000 building without a
squabble as to where it is to go. The
Times will be satisfied with a post
office building anywhere the govern
ment supervisor cares to locate It,
inst So he OF "a
town keep hands Off When the man
comes to locate the building. whoever
he Is and however the locating Is to
be done, let us say to him, Here is
the town. Put the building where you
think it is best for everybody and ev-
Then he can go ahead untrammeled,
make a wise selection and It will be
the best for us all. What we want is
the building"
At the school commencement exer-
cises at Atchison last week one OF the
speakers talked so long that he wore
out his welcome. The Globe tells
about it: 1.-THE speaker passed at least
dozen good points for stopping, but
he refused to recognize one when he
met it in the road. Over and over he
reached a climax. but, instead of bow
ing, he began over again to work up
another one. Once he started toward
the size, anu the cHllOTeH IHOuSnC ne
was through, and their applause was
deafening. But, when he turned
back, and they realized there was to
be more of it. they grew impolite in
their demonstration. The graduates
behaved beautifully; it was the chill
dren in the gallery who forgot that
they were the hosts and that the man
In front of them was a guest and a
stranger, and deserving Of politeness
even If he talked till the milkman
came. They owe him an apology, but.
in all justice and fairness, doesn't he
also owe them one? One boy SO far
forgot his manners as to throw a lem
on at the speaker; 1t struck square on
the platform and bounced around on
the stage. However, 1t was not the
only lemon on the program"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11

a noise like success. Judith. I'm goinS
out into the hall and give that pen
another ring. Mrs. Drake Will nea'
that, and then we will rattle glasses:
and Miss Morton will fiddle ana svd
will play the piano and we Will appiauo
and-well know that Darnton mere
will like your brand OF punch"
The audacity Of the plan swept an
objections aside. Sometimes Sanoerson
rang the bell, and sometimes Darntoh.
The little maid ran up and down the
hall and the glasses clicked and MISS
Morton played, and Darnton sang roi.
licking German student songs tnas
none had ever dreamed he knew. anu
Mrs Brainard laughed until the tears
threatened to fall on her fine old laces.
And when it was all over and not
another soul had put in appearance
Darnton carried Miss Morton on In
cab and Mrs. Brainard retired to lay
away the dear old pearl silk gown. The
little maid went downstairs to where
her young man was waiting to take
her home and Judith and Dick stood
alone in the fiower-banked room. Tnen
upon the sudden quiet fell sound OF
muffled tapping. Judith ran to the ooor.
there was a whispered conversation.
and very soon Dick saw her hand out
something on a tray. She came back
with eyes shining.
1T was Mrs. Drake. She said she
heard us having such a good time, ana
though she and Mr.. Drake did not dare
leave their guests, now that every one
had gone. she just simply had to beg
some of the punch. She had heard
those glasses clicking, and the music
through the wall"
Dicks eyes were dancing. but Judith's
| were dewy with a new and tender light.
"Oh, Dick-you are simply wonderful
She thinks it was a huge success-and
I-and-well, you know what I promised
this afternoon. You can
| Dick gripped her hands.
| will you, Judith-will you, dear!''
| Eyes, Dick, and we'll announce 1t al
my next evening at home "-(Copy-
righted. 1908, by Associated Literary
Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11
GLOBE SIGHTS.
from the Atchison Globe.1

the AIC1llSoH JlOD6.
People don't believe in giving a boy
anything except a whipping.
If the women had money. how well
men!
1t is believed that every time a
man makes a kick on his gas bill, he
gets a reduction.
When a girl says that a young man
is "just perfectly horrible" she means
that he is just too sweet to live.
There are some men who can't take
home a beef steak without believing
they are taking their wives a pres
emit
It makes no difference how pretty
a girl, or how sweet her voice, If she
wears glasses, the boys are afraid of
her.
OF course, it is gallant, chivalrous,
and all that, but when a man walks
along the street, carrying a fancy
parasol over a woman's head, he looks
mighty worthless
The kind of men who pat little
boys on the head and chuck little
girls under the chin. are always sure
to say before they go: do you al
ways attend Sunday school?"
We poor people have a good deal
Of show after all. Round steak, par
ticularly if it is pounded with a
ing, is as good as tenderloin.
If you take a sick man something
to eat, don't stay in che room while
| he eats it. He is ravenous for it. but
| If you stay in the room, he. will Just
look at it, try mouthful look tired
and wave it away to keep UP his
| reputation of being sick.
As soon as woman gets married
| she begins to work a system" and
| there is nothing in it to remind her
husband of his agreeable courtfne
days. Very few husbands know any
thing further about this system than
! that they do not like it.
When you see a child that is cry
| ing, and looks half sick and abused
| investigate and you will find IL ha,
been having it's own way And thai
is the way older people look when
they have had their own way. but
they insist upon having 1t.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11
A SKINNER SKINNED.

The writer told William Allen
White to his face last night on the
stage Of the Whitley Opera house in
Emporia just following the Long
speech in reply to Whites charges:
"Well Bill. you surely got an awful
skinning tonight. We newspaper men
sometimes take the hide off from 9TH
er people, but your cuticle was raised
in great shape this evening"
Eyes," said William Allen, blushing,
but brave and manful, like the true
hearted specimen he is, IT did,
White gulped few times. swallow
ed his Adams apple. recovered his
composure, and after greeting a few
friends disappeared to write a few
words in reply.
These words appear on another
page and also more careful state
ment prepared by White later and
this afternoon wired the state Journal.
The Long forces were jubilant and
it was predicted by some that Bristow
though White might land on his feet;
although the humiliation of the re-
fractions and apologies he publicly
made last night must have it's effect
in considering Whites other state
ments which are in the majority and
which he did not retract and also be
taken into account for his future arti-
cles III the Long campaign. Somebody
wofully imposed on White by palming
off fiction for fact in several instances.
to say the least.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11
WHERE THE TARIFF HITS.

If there is one industry in this
country which should rise up in it's
might, and it is one of the mightiest
of them all, in a demand for a proper
revision of the tariff when the time
comes to revise, and that cannot be
too soon, it is that of railroading
And the whole people of the country
should be behind the railroads in the
move that they need to take
In one particular the railroads of
this country are being imposed upon
to an enormous extent. Imposed
upon is not a strong enough express
sion. Robbed" is a better one. even
If it is rather fierce. And the rob-
Der is the Steel Trust, which has been
spoken of from time to time as the
one good and great trust in this coun-
try.
The robbery of the railroads it is
perpetrating Is the price that it com
| pels them to pay for steel rails. Evil
dence of 1t is found in a news item
which was given rather insignificant
prominence the other day. This was
to the effect that the Steel Trust was
negotiating with the Russian govern
ment to deliver to it one million
| tons of steel rails for $4,000. 900
This is at the rate of s25 per ton.
| What do you suppose the railroads
of this country are compelled to pa,
the Steel Trust for the self same
rails that they need? The lates
quotations of the Steel Trust to the
railroads of the United States averae,
about $40 ton for steel rails. Fo,
a number of years back there ha,
never been a quotation to American
railroads which was less than s2s ne,
ton.
Now what do fair minded peo
pie think of such an unjust dis
elimination? AS said before it i
more than the imposition or dis
elimination. 1t is downright'robbery
And 1t is robbery made possible un
J der the motherly wings of the presen
tariff law. Surely, in this particular
as well as in others. the nest of al
J adequate protection to American In
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11
HVNOR or THE DAY

You are to take these capsules" said
DIR. Pussy. before meals. not after. re-
member"
"Oh!" said the patient, 81 guess it
doesn't matter muchv'
But 1t does matter. SIR"
ever had a meal at our boarding house"
Catholic Standard and Times.
Jack-The forests should be conserved.
Stella-Oh. 1 guess there are enough left
to carve our initials on.-New York sun
TT is said that the average man can
get along with 800 words, "a.
1.-The aXsra1s New YORK man can or get
and erce'.-Pittsburs Post. '
'oh. that a. boy q, mine should live to
"Why. dad. what's the matter with you?
It's all right. got of on technically"
kansas City Journal
IT had to sell my auto. but I haven't
missed it yet"
you can get most of the sensations by
cleaning rugs."-Louisville Courier-Jour
nal.
Luncher-Is this meant to be shortcake?
WATERSHEDS. sir
Lnneher Ssarc; c. hen f9f hsav-
ton Transcript
Boy-shall We be ere tomorror. mister7
1
Boy-Finished7 Aw. 'ow do We tell when
it be finished then7-The Bystander. an.
Mrs. sourmug, who thought she had a
mission to look after suffering humanity.
is married, isn't she?"
YEP" --e.e -
st was surprised to learn that she had
given I'D her mission in life"
| "She hasn't; her husband is going to be
suffering humanity observation-disclosures
| Post.
Mr.. Jingle's writings show a great deal
| Of ina gfnation, don't you think?"
! Eyes. they show that he imagines he can
write poetry" -Philadelphia Press.
| Faddist visitor-Are you allowed in this
prison any exercise beneficial for your
| health?
Conviction. yes. mann. BY advice Of
my counsel, have been skipping the rope.
J-Baltimore American.
! Teacher-Johnny, what Is an aeronaut?
| Johnny (who has had experience)-An
| aeronaut is a man who goes up in a bal
loon. and then leaves you up in a tree
| Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11

which will help it on Its way. Words
Of praise for good work done in the
past and words Of encouragement for
the future are what is needed now.
Most every baseball team takes a
more or less serious slump at some
time during the season and II the To-
peka team was due for a slump it's
a great deal better that II is coming
now than If it arrived later in the sea-
son. When the team hits its gait
again it will quickly recover the
ground it has lost. For the team
looks and has acted like a winner.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-11

Henry Clews. the eminent New York
banker, who is looked upon as an au-
thority in the financial world. has pub
lished a little book called Fifty Years
In Wall Street" In 1t he discusses the
recent financial panic in which he ex-
presses the opinion that President
Roosevelt has probably been too out
spoken at time when silence would
have been golden" but Mr.. Clews adds:
at is a mistake, or a SANDER, to say
that Theodore Roosevelt has made wal
against capital He is only opposed tc
dishonest corporate methods and dis.
honestly acquired wealth." All discern
ing men will agree that what Mr. CIews
says in this respect is true.