davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

Holland proposes to discipline Cas- tro with Dutch deliberation and also with Dutch thoroughness.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27
Tony Pastor Ia Dead,

Elmhurst, l.. l., August 26.-Antonio (Tony) Pastor, the theatrical manager. died tonight after an illness of several weeks. He was T years old.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

In a case of douhle emotional insan- ity the alienists and lawyers will natur- ally expect double fees.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

Castro has the big countries hypnot- ized, and so it becomes little Hollands duty to straighten him out
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

At the age of 62 Admiral Evans says he expects to live to be 100 years old, and all hope he will.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

The fall buyers show in their gener- ous orders that they know that bumper crops are in sight.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

John Worth Kern's acceptance speech was indeed keynote. The people now know why they do not ruie
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

The campaign has thus far broken no rule of the Anti-Noise society.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

Mrs. Jack Gardner's standing in so- ciety will not help her as smuggler To the government all smugglers look alike.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

The Minnesota voters are accused by republican papers of holding the record in a scratchfest.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

When dullness rules at a summer resort the resorters play croquet as a relief.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27
Shall we rest US here.

And by relating tales of others eriefs, See if twill teach US to forget our
 own? -PericIes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

Berlin is the home of steerable bal looms and lese majeste.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27
THERE'S A REASON.

A leader of the people
 Delights to strike pose, As if he fain would listen
 To other mortals' woes. He spends his time in fighting The wrongs that strew the way, And while disinterested,
 He seems to make 1t pay.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

Cannon's going into doubtful dis tricts will it is believed, operate to in- crease doubt.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

Aviation begins to supplant the agri- cultural hoss trot in the fairs of the season.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES

prospective candidate But please un- derstand that I will not submit to sur gical operation, in case I am nominated"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

Political business still drifts natur- ally to Oyster Bay.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27
EvIDEN
lid he leave his wife ?''

"Blicks was enjoying himself yester- day"
 Where did he leave his wife?' How did you know his wife wasn't along?'
 Didn't you say he was enjoying him. self?"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27
ACTUAL VALUE.

"What's he worth?'
 His fortune in round numbers amounts to s5,o0o,00o To the community he is worth about 10 cents.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27
UNKNOWN.

UNKNOWN. He had no dreams of glory, But simply did his best And closing life's sad story, Lay down at last to rest Beyond the work and worry, The trouble and turmoil Of ways where people hurry And plot and scheme and toll. Green blows the grass above him, Blue are the vaulted skes, The lilies seem to love him, A golden sunbeam lies Across the mound so lonely Of one who met defeat; Whose life was sorrows only, Yet, doubtless, passing sweet.
 EXTENSIVE. "That is a fetching hat" Thank you so much.'' "Ill bet it fetched a yell from father
 MoRTALs.
 Alas, tis true
 That a person dies
 Just about the time
 He's getting wise.
 Birmingham Age-Herald. ALSO, us true
 Another's born
 To take his place
 And toot his horn.
 Walker County News.
 REPLIES. When a man refers to his ''metier' 1t is a sign he doesn't work. Although they are accused of being slow, dry towns have plenty of ginger. A Pennsylvania man tried to f1imfiam the same lawyer twice. He ought to have his memory worked on right away. The 60-horsepower smile is a potent fac- tor in the 1908 presidential campaign. The trouble about train wrecks is that they nearly always interrupt a funny story in the smoker. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27
EXTENSIVE.

That is fetching hat" "Thank you so much" "Ill bet it fetched yell from father
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

DRAWING THE LINE. We want you to be our standard bear er" announced the committee. Very well, gentlemen" answered the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-27

"It is hard to keep good man down." There are times when the same thing may be said of a good dinner"
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
PENNY-IN-THE-SLOT
SOLVES HUMAN ILLS

Paris, Sept 16.-The penny-in-the-
slot machine has been adapted for
use in the medical profession by a
physician.
The physician consists Of a human
figure of iron enameled in various
colors. The chief organs are mapped
out on the body. red for the heart,
blue for the liver and so on.
A coin slit corresponds to each or
gan. when you go to consult the
doctor you consult his machine II
you have a sore throat you put a coin
into its throat. For heart disease a
coin must be dropped into the car
diac valve.
In return, the automaton instantly
produces a clearly printed prescrip-
ton on ticket. and all you have to
do then is to have it made up and to
get well again.
In the case of amputations, the
ticket presumably consists of
voucher emitting the bearer to have
one leg or arm cut off in some sur
gerry.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
WIDOW DANCES FOR JOY
CORPSE SMASHES THINGS

Paris. Sept. 12.-Jean Lutrelle, a
graybeard, married girl in her teens
and kept wondering whether she low
ed him. Would she weep when he
died. or would she rejoice, and mar
ry again? He devised a grewsome
strategem to find out. He locked
himself in his room and waited. Af-
ter some time his wife, wondering at
his unaccountable disappearance, had
the door broken open.
on the bed lay her husband, his
hands crossed, his face white, his body
motlonless, apparently dead. His
wife looked at him, concluded that
he was dead, and then danced a
breakdown"
Th corpse leaped to his feet and
roared: $50 that is how you would
grleve for me? Then take this!" He
threw clocks and candlesticks at her.
She fled He smashed all the furni-
ture
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

D. c. Brchoux, the timber loca-
tor. arrived last night from an ex,
tended trip to that portion of Wal
Iowa county where a number Of Sec
tions OF land heretofore in the forest
reserve are to be thrown open to
entry on the 18th of this month, says
the La Grande Star. This prospec-
tive opportunity to secure claims is
the cause Of the present line up at the
land office. Mr.. Birchoux brings the
report that every claim worth having
has been seized upon by squatters and
H. many cases they are, to use Mr..
Birchoux's expression, the squatters
are 1.-TWO deep" In a number of in
stances the squatters are building
co bins close together and there can
be no other result than that in sucn
cases the claims will overlap Some
OF these who are now in the line up
have previously exercised the rights
of a squatter
While there are about 2S sections
to be thrown open much of it is not
worth having. and on the other hand,
there are claims that have three and
a half million feet of saw lumber on
them.
In the mix up there are unquestlon-
ably chances for serious trouble. II
was in this locality only a few years
ago that two men were killed in a
dispute over the possession of a claim
and the man who did the shooting is
now serving a term in the peniten-
tlary
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
DEPARTMENT
STORES SUPPER
NEWSPAPER CRUSADE HITS
LARGE CONCERNS HARD
Sears, Roebucl & Company Lose 20
Per Cent of Net Sales and Profit
less BY a Cool Million During Past
Year-The "Patronlze Home Mer-
chants" Campaign and the Hard
Times Held Responsible.

Chicago, Sept. 16.-That the big
Chicago mail order houses have suf-
fered severely in the campaign being
waged by the country newspapers for
the protection Of home merchants
and by the recent hard times is
shown by the annual report Of Sears,
Roebuck e. Company the largest con-
Germ Of It's kind in the world. The
net profits for the last year fell short
over a million dollars from the pre-
cedlng year, and there was a falling
off OF almost 90 per cent in net sales.
A "home industry" crusade has been
carried on by local newspapers
throughout the central west during
the last year or two, and II Is bellev-
ed that this movement. as much az
the hard times, my have had its in
fluence upon the mail trade.
The report shows that the COM
panys net sales amounted to S4O,-
s43.S66, or S9,S7S,973 less than those
for the previous year, while dividends
received from investments involved
$s9,6SG, or $1S,SS2 more than those
recorded for the preceding year,
making n total net income of s4O,-
933,552, or S9,S6O,O91 less than that
for the fiscal year ended June 80,
1907.
Expenditures for interest and de-
probation charges involved S3s.S9s,-
75G, or SS,656,3S5 less than similar
expenditures for the previous year,
leaving net profits Of $2,O34,796, or
$1.2O3,7O6 less than those for the fis-'
cal year ended June 30. 1907.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
DOING THEIR DUTY.
Scores OF Pcndleton Readers Are
Learning the Duty of the Kidneys.

Learning the Duty of the Kidneys.
To filter the blood is the kidneys
duty.
When they fail to do this the kid
neys are sick.
Backache and many kidney Ills fol-
low.
Urinary trouble, diabetes.
Doans Kidney Pills cure them
all.
Mrs. Putnam Yeck. living in Elgin.
Oregon. says: 81 had known of the
merits of Doan's Kidney Pills before
having occasion to use them. When
suffering from an attack of lame
back, accompanied by pains through
my kidneys, l procured a box and
began their use. II l sat long the
pains were always moro severe and
1 experienced a languid, dizzy feel
ing upon first arising in the morn
ing. Doan's Kidney Pills banished
the backache, regulated the action Of
my kidneys and lifted great burden
from me. cannot express my graft
tude toward Doan's Kidney Pills for
the good they have done me-"
For sale by all dealers. Price so
cents. Foster-Mllburn Co., Buffalo,
New York, sole agents for the Uni
ted States.
Remember the name-Doan's-and
take no other.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
S1nn Reunrd- S10O-

The readers OF this paper will be pleas
ed to learn that there is at least one
dreaded disease that science has been able
to cure In ali Its stages, and that is Ca.
tarrh Halls CataTh Cure Is the only
positive cure now known to the medical
fraternity. Catarrh being a constitutional
disease requires constitutional treat
ment Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken In.
ternally, acting directly upon the blood and
mucous surfaces Of the system, thereby de.
str0ylng the foundation OF the disease, and
giving the patient strength by building
mp the constitution and assisting nature
In doing Its work. The proprletors have
so much faith In Its curative powers that
they offer One Hundred Dollars for any
case that II fails to cure. Send for list Of
testimonials Address
Sold by all Druggists, I5c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipa-
tlon.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
They Tnl,c the Kinks Out.

81 have used DR.. Kings New Life
Pills for many years, with increasing
satisfaction. They take the kinks out
Of stomach, liver and bowels, without
fuss or friction" says n. II. Brown,
OF Pittsfield, Vt, Guaranteed satis>
factory at Tallman G. Co.'S and Pen
dleton Drug Co., % cents.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
HAWKING MACHINES.
Catarrh Sufferers Are Nothing But
Hawking, Splitting and Blowing Ma
chimes, Says an Authority.

Is 1t possible that In these days
when cleanliness and sanitary reform
Is being preached in the churches
schools and at public gatherings, that
thousands Of people will continue to
suffer from catarrh, when there is an
absolutely certain remedy always on
hand.
Hyomei pronounced High-o-me) Is
a pleasant, medicated and antiseptic
air. Breathe it in and 1t will cure
catarrh. It will stop foul breath,
watery eyes, and crusts in the nose
in a few days.
1t Is guaranteed by Tallman & Co.,
to do It or money back, and such a
guarantee ought to be strong enough
for anybody.
Entirely Cured by HyOmei.
Having suffered from catarrh for
about two years and having tried
numerous remedies without any sat
isfactory results, finally tried Hyo-
mel, and am glad to state that after
using about one and one-half bottles
/ am entirely cured. / have recon-
mended It to others with satisfactory
results.-C. n. Llndsy 407 East First
Ave, Mitchell, S. d.
A complete Hyomel outfit, consist
ing Of a strong, hard rubber pocket
inhaler and a bottle Of Hyomei, costs
only 81, and extra bottles, If after
wards needed, cost only 80 cents each
"a, Tallman & Co.'S, or direct, by mail
charges prepaid, from Booths Hyo-
mel Co., Buffalo, n. Y.
HyOmei also cures Asthma, Bron-
chitis, Coughs and Colds, Group of
infants, and any inflammatory disease
Of the respiratory tract.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
Notice.

Anyone knowing themselves in
debted to the Alta House or Alta
House Feed Barns will kindly make
settlement by calling upon f. L,
Goodwin, 7OS, East Webb street,
Coutts or Hays, room IL, John
Schmidt building, or see Mr.. Blttner
himself, who lost so heavily by the
terrible fire September 2.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
A Cough Remedy that Cures.

Hickory Bark Cough Remedy
made by the Hickory Bark Cough
Remedy company. of Salem. Ore.
guaranteed to cure your cough, or
money refunded Guaranteed to make
a friend Of you. For sale by all drug
gists and first class dealers every
where. Pendleton Drug Co.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

Kennedy's Laxative Cough Syrup
does not constipate like most OF the
old-fashioned cough cures, but on the
other hand it gently moves the bow
els and at the same time heals irri-
tation and allays inflammation of the
throat. Sold by Tallman & Co.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

I offer for sale the NJ of the NV Y
of section II, TIP. 3 north, range S5,
T.. w. NJ, being so acres about three
miles south of Athena. Oregon.
Price 500 per acre. Inquire of F. 8.
LeGrow, Athena. Oregon.
MRS. MAY JORGENSEN.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

DeWitts Kidney and Bladder Pills
are for weak back, backache. rheu-
matte pains, Inflammation of the
bladder and all other annoyances due
to weak kidneys. They are sold by
Tallman & Co.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
Horse BUYER Coming

| will be at Pendleton Friday, Sep
tember is, to buy saddle horses, to
years old, weighing from $50 to
100 pounds; height Is to Is S-4
hands T., w. DOOLEY.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

WANTED - MEN, WOMEN AND
families to take advantage Of our
fine premium offers, given to old or
new subscribers to the Daily, Weekly
and Semi Weekly East Oregonian.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

WANTED - MEN. WOMEN AND
families TO take advantage OF our
fine premium offers, given to old or
new subscribers to the Daily, Weekly
and Semi-Weekly East Oregonian.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

CAN MAKE $4,000
to $4,000 yearly by handling our
guaranteed per cent real estate in
vestments that will make larg- re-
turns to the investor. Salary and
commission. Best of bank referen>
ces. Pacific Northwest Realty AS
soclates, Wells-Fargo building, Port
land, Ore.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

FOR SALE-IGO ACRES, PARTLY
seeded TO alfalfa; two good or
chards; house nicely furnished. Sew
eral nice springs; fine sheep ranch:
good range; no reserve; very near
railroad, and arranged for two fami.
lies. Address 607. Weatherby, Ore.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

While watching the particu-
lar classification that appeals to
you do not overlook all the
other want ads.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
LOST.
Classified Directory i: :: !: :: =: :: +:
FUNERAL DIRECTORS.

NJ. A. RAIDER, FUNERAL DIREC-
tor and licensed embalmer. Grad
uate OF the Chicago College of En-
balming. Corner Main and Webb
streets. Phone main 100. Funeral
parlors In connection.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
ROONIING HOUSES.


ST. ELMO ROOMS, MRS. ALLEN
Rhodes. Everything new and first
class Rates soc, 75c and 81. One
block from depot over Dime theater.
THE SENATE FOR FIRST-CLASs
rooms. Everything clean and mod
ern. Hot and cold water in all rooms.
Bath. Rates soc, 75c and 81. Over
Pastime theater Bill Campbell
Phone black Bill.
PALACE ROOMS, MRS. ANNA
Smith, Prop. Rates SOC, 75c and
81. Thoroughly renovated and up-to-
date. Main street, next to French res
taurant
ENGRAVED CARDS. INVITATIONS
etc. Very latest styles. Leave or
ders at East Oregonian office.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
FOR SALE.

FOR SALE - REASONABLE, ~
acre REIMBURSEMENT under Umatilla
project. one mile from Hermiston.
level and considered one OF choicest
tracts in project. Box 344 Hermiston,
Ore.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
FRATERNAL ORDERS.
VETERINARY SURGEONS.

DIR. d. C. M'NABB, LOCAL STATE
Stock Inspector and member State
Veterinary Board. Office Tallmans
drug store. Res phone Main SO.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

MAPS CITY OF PENDLEToN AT
East Oregonian office. Price 1Ss.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
FOR RENT.

I--~-~--~~~~-~-~~~~~-~- ~--~~--~-~~~~~--~->~-
UNFURNISHED HOUSEKEEPING
rooms for rent. Enquire at East
| OregOnian office.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
LIVERY AND FEED STABLES.

CITY LIVERY STABLE, THOMPSON
street, Carney & Kennedy, Props
Livery feed and sale stable. Good
rigs at all times. Cab line in connee-
ton. Phone main 70.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

, ssOsOO sssss
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
WANTED.

WANTED-CURTAINS TO WASH.
Careful and experienced. Mrs. P.
A. Anderson, 1101 East Railroad St.
Phone black 1891.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
PHYSICIANS.

II. 5. GARFIELD, NJ. D., HUMEU-
pathic physician and surgeon. Of
flee Judd block. Telephones: Office,
black 34l1; residence, red 1888.
DIR. LYNN K. BLAKESLEE, CHRO-
mic ami nervous diseases, and dis
eases OF women. X-Ray and Electro
Therapeutics. Judd building, corner
Main and Court streets. Office phone,
Main 70; residence phone, Main 554.
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16

sssssssss"seess'
East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-09-16
MISCELLANEOUS.

HORACE w. KING, CIVIL ENGIN-
eer and Surveyor. Room IL, De-
spain building.
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1908-11-16

Oh, men, give Him chance. that's
AL give Him chance and He can
change your lives.
The spirit of God changed numbers
OF lives during those great meetings.
Mr.. Roach gave series of wonder
ful experiences of converted souls In
the Sunday meetings.
Nothing can take the sin out of
your lives except the teachings of the
word Of God"
| never have had so much pleasure
IN my life as | have had the last few
months. Have been eight nights out
of every ten while in Chicago at the
Pacific Garden Mission speaking and
helping others.
My experience with those poor fell
lows over there is wonderful.
God doesn't say that you have to
go to a theological school before you
accept Jesus Christ Oh no-now Is
the time to get in with Him.
The christians life is the happiest
life OF all-my own compensation is
worth more to me since my conversion
IMAM all the years gone before.
1t is not only ones happiness for
just look at our relatives, mother,
wife, family and also in business.
Don't stand in the way of others. men.
Just remember this, men, that l am
down here without pay to help you
and If | can't do any good here |
know that l will feel stronger from
this visit
Do something for God, take a real
iull-fiedged up to date sinners advice
and do something for God.
know for have been there, up and
down the line and take my advice and
accept Jesus Christ the Lamb of God
that taketh away the sin Of the world. :,
The daily Gate City. [volume] (Keokuk, Iowa) 1855-1916, 1908-11-16
How the Game was PLAYED.

Quincy opened the fray by kicking
off to Keokuk, the visitors defending
the south goal. Quincy soon forced
their opponents to kick however and
Montgomery made good return.
Grieser broke loose Immediately af-
forwards for twenty yards around the
end and q forward pass, Montgomery
to Morris placed the locals within
striking distance of goal and mo-
ment later Campbell went over for
the first score of the game after just
four an a half minutes of play. Quin-
cy missed goal and the score was 5
to 0.
Keokuk elected to receive the ball
on the next kickoff and made good
return. Montgomery made beauti-
full flying tackle on the first play after
Is yards had been gained around
Quincy's right wing. Ten more were
added around the other end and four
through the line. Quincy's right wing
1 was again circled for Is yards and
/ the trick was repeated on t. other
side of the line. for 20 yards. Quin-
1 cy's ends and half backs were not
men with the ball on end runs and it
/ looked as though a score was immi-
nent with the ball within the 25-yard
line. Keokuk began to try the line
but failed Grieser upset a quarter
back run for q loss of yards and a
quarterback kick was tried. Mont
gomery returned the kick almost to
where the play started and the locals
/ started down the field again. The
ball then went back and forth the
remainder Of the half, each side be-
/ ing forced to kick several times. The
half ended with the ball in Quincy s
possession on their own forty-yard
] line Score: Quincy 5, Keokuk 0.