The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-02-13
DAY
SENTIMENTS MAKE
POSTWAR GROAN
Dan Cupid and the JOkesmitfs
Have Field Day Tomorrow
in Fun and FrOlic.
POSTAL SOUVENIRS
in BRISK DEMAND
Pretty Things for Mr.. Henpeck,
Cop and Teacher-Chalk
Still for Bad Boys.

Dan Cupid. the little winged god
whose golden darts play havoc in the
lists of love, comes into his w to-
morrow. Gladder than n May-tifne
festival for those numbered among his
willing victims: sadder than the dol
drums for un%fortunates in another
vein. whose personal peculiarities will
be relentlessly displayed TO them in
tho mornings mail. Sad, too, Is the
postman. whose Jack viii fairly groan
tomorrow-for tomorrow is st. Valen-
tines Day!
Long years nave passed since VIII
Shakespeare put into the mouth OF
the fair Ophelia, quite b maddest,
gladdest, saddest verse symbolic of the
day ever written; yet Cupid's devo-
tees continue still, blissfully ignorant
hal the one great St. Valentines
poem has been written, to indite their
fhrobs Of eternal devotion to the Bet
tvs and Billys OF today. What care
they for the poems of ye~sterday-gone
and swept away as completely as last
years SHOWS.
such n Chance TO Get Even.
And, saints preserve us, was there
ever such opportunity to get even with
those whom the gods have seen fit to
own large noses, wigs, squint eyes,
cranky dispositions and a thousand
other ills, disfigIirements and idiosyn-
cracies? Look out, Messrs. Knocker,
right Wad, Trimmer, -Four Flusher,
Henpeck, Miser, Buttinsky, Rah Isah
Boy and all the rest of your tribe. Oh!
But aren't you going to get it and get
II in the form of as hideously distorted
colored carieatures as the brains of the
artists can conceive.
Your young Willie Wrongful is now
in his element. Already today and for
days past he has been ~sllrreptitiousiy
entering the bookstore and fairly sloat-
ing over those penny horribles that he
will tonight slip into the post box in
An envelope, clumsily perhaps. but
plainly marked-Teacher.
But In the last analysis it is the
postman who will lave the real
trouble. That is because of the newly
devised st. Valentine post cards souve-
Mrs that have become all the rage.
, You see in the old days all the real
mean valentines came under cover.
Now the postman must brave the IN
dignant and e~nangered looks of all TO
whom he is called upon to deliver the
postcard valentines with their mes
sages of spite, raillery, irony ana
satire. Pity the poor postman. then,
for In the immortal words of Lew
Fields, he will say to himself, I know
I'm going to get II, and get 1t good,
but, oh. if I only knew where I'm going
TO get 1t and how soon!"
All mt st. Vars Counter.
And see them all at the valentine
counter. Dear little Gertrude is gush-
ing and bridling, blushing and looking
wonderfully pretty withal tomorrow
when she gets that frosted little valen-
tine with the colored picture of the
rierced heart and bare little Cupid
under the "roses are red, violets are
blue. sugar is sweet and so are you"
Mr.. EIenpeck is at his left picking out
one for his wife with a 'you think
you're a cook but you should get the
hook"
Mr.. Knocker, who has waited a whole
year to get a laugh on his next door
neighbor. is probably beside her chuck
ling over a near Autograph, which a y
something about you're a rounder, all
folks say. You want to go to Heaven
but you'll go the other way. All the
rest of the trouble and funmakers are
there, too, and the bookstore man he
lust smiles like q Cheshire cat and
counts up profits.
To the small boy who is jealous of his
pennies there is still recourse to the
chalk marks. The chalk does the WORK
of a comic in most cases, as almost OF
just as well, Just apply well on th'
front step, whitening a space in the
shape of an envelope. Then ring thu
door bell and get behind a tree across
the street. Watch for the man whit
comes TO the door, who reaches dow
for the letter and shrieks out in un
holy glee either rubber or "stung'
Here Arc some Victims.
Then the motorman, the mail man
the dentist, the real estate agent, TIL
store clerk, the bookkeeper, the insur
ance agent; the collector (the write
will see that he gets one), the waiter
the barKeeper, the fireman and all tn
others are we'll provided for. And TO
the ladies You find the comics on tn
~schoolma'am, the typewriter, the gil
behind the counter. the sweet youn
thing who helps around the house, tn
milliner, the dressmaker, the nurse cir
the manicure, etc, all will get theirs.
Yes. there is going to be a lot of haT
piness. of trouble, of fun, anger an
merriment tomorrow-and again pit
the poor postman for 1t isn't his faul
He is paid to do his work and he he
u ct N doli,tnr mil NillN-nillN.