The Huttig news., 1908-12-26
Percy ard Harold They Visited the County
 Fair But Didn't Enjoy IL


 eating their evening meal. On. a stump between. them was can of coffee, from which they alternately drank. and close by was a bundle of coldhearted sandwiches they had begged along the route.
 How extremely fortunate we were, Harold" remarked one of the tramps, picking up piece of the dry bread i and raking roasted potato from the fire, in securing the services of our French chef. Since he has had csssrse of our kitchen our table las been the envy of all our society friends, and I hear the Wally de Geezers said they never more thoroughly enjoyed din- ner than, at our last weekend"
 Well, 1 should just guess they did, Pere, was the fiippant interjection of Harold, who was wading deep into the layout. They must have thought it was politicians day at the almshouse from the way they tanked up on the grub. I'll bet hundred that Wally gainedo15 pounds before he left the table, and as for Mrs. Wally-"
 Don't, Harold Dont!" interposed Percy, with a mortified expression. You distress me dreadfully. You should be more guarded in your | speech with reference to our guests. I will admit that both Waily and dear | Mrs. De Geezer did eat very heartily. but rather regarded it as compli- ment to our incompatible Henri. Isn't this pomme de terre julienne exquis- 1 ite? It is positively the best 1 ever tasted, and as for these harieot vert"
 Henri is all right" responded liar. old, clawing another piece of bread from the bundle, but I wish the dod- blasted chump would smear more but ter on these sandwiches They are almost as bad as the sandwiches you get at the quick lunch foundries where they think that butter comes from the Klondike Chuck us over that coffee cani"
 You are positively insufferable, Harold, protested Percy in voice that was almost fearful. How you would shame me by your vulgar re- marks if we had heard you use the term coffee instead of demitasse2 Coffee will do very well for the ordi- nary people, but you should consider your station in life and speak accord ingly l trust you will remember this in the future and also be more cir cumspect in your manner.
 No, thank you dear boy" said Harold, arising and picking up his hat when he noticed that. Percy had annexed the last crust of bread and | he last potato. "I don't care for it. In fact, I have been too well served. Since we have no engagement for to- night, I think I will smoke this cigar stump which my friend Algernon so kindly tossed from his automobile. and then retire"
 As soon as it was dark the tramps started for an adjacent barn, but when they arrived at their destina- tion they found that the cautious own CT had locked all the doors Outside, however, was a large wagon, filled with loose straw, and into this they quickly crawled. Ten minutes later they were fast asleep
 On the following morning they were awakened by the sound of ragtime music and merry voices, and crawling out of the straw, were astonished to find themselves at county fair. | Percy glanced at Harold and Harold | glanced at Percy and then a rude farmer broke into their society. What in ther thunderation are you dod-blasted hoboes doin in thet straw?" demanded the farmer person. | Cant bring load O beddin' ter ther air fer the race horses without cartin' around a lot of gosh-hanged tramps l s'pose ye thought ye would hide in het straw an git in without payin but"
 Pardon me. fellow" naughtily in ;erjected Percy You are unneces- sarily agitated We had DO intention If coming to the fair, nor do we now lave any desire to remain and mingle with a people who have no place in )ur exclusive set. It is only by the ac- cident of chance that we are here, and if my friend Harold will give me his arm we will retire at once. As for the erm 'hoboes' that you applied to us. will have you understand that"
 Co wash your face!" brutally broke in the farmer "Ye look derned sight worse than hog what has root ed all the way across ten-acre lot. l guess l know what ye sneaked in here fer, an now that ye are here ye've got ter stay, be gosh, an work yer way out. Sam. take these skeer- crows in hand and make em clear out ther stables an carry water fer ther hosses all day. If they git gay. souse em with a garden hose."
 The person addressed as Sam was only too willing to have additional help, and all day long the hoboes were compelled to clean out stables. carry water and rub down race horses. When evening drew apace they were liberated, and lost no time hiking for the nearest woods.
 70. Harold." groaned Percy. in a