davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-02-06
DOCTORS MFSTHMES

Are said often to be buried six feet under
ground. But many times women call on
their family physicians, suffering, as they
imagine, one from dyspepsia, another from
heart disease, another from liver or kid
ney disease, another from nervous pros
tratlon, another with pain here and there,
and in this way they present alike TO
themselves and their easy-going or over
busy doctor, separate diseases, for which
he, assuming them to be such, prescribes
his pills and potions. In reality, they are
oil only sunptg1ns caused by some uterine
disease. The physician, ignorant Of the
cause OF suffering, RSeps up MS treatment
until large bills are mSde. TIC Suffering
patient gets no bettehltLrrasoa-0S o. the
wrong treatment, but probably worse. "A
proper medicine Like ID. -PlGrce,S Eaynrite
hlye tMIITeIY TsMoYed The disease. there
by dlspe1ling all those dIstfessing symp-
toms, and instituting comfort instead Of
prolonged misery. II has been well said,
that" disease known is half cured"
DIR. Plcrce's Favorite Prescription Is a
scientific medicine, carefully devised by
an experienced and skIllful physician,
and adapted to woman's delicate system.
1t Is made Of native American medicinal
roots and Is perfectly harmless In its
effects In lllA- I1IIlllL llLQLhE-f -fEm1lE
As Powerful invigorating tonic rFa-
vorite Prescription" imparts strength to
the whole system and to the organs dis
tinctly feminine In particular. For over
worked, vworn-out," rundown" debili-
tated teachers, mllliners, dressmakers,
= scamstresses, "shop-girls,n bouse-keepers,
nursing mothers, and feeble women gen.
orally, DIR. Perce's Favorite Prescription
Is the greatest earthly boon, being un-
equaled as an appetizlng cordial and re-
storative tonic.
AS a soothing and strengthening nerv-
ino rFavorlte Prescription is unequaled
and Is invaluable in allaylng and sub
DUNG nervous exctabIlity, irrltability,
nervous exhaustion, nervous prostraton,
neuralgia, hystcria, spasms. st. Vituss
dance, and other distressing, nervous
symptoms commonly attendant upon
functional and organic disease Of tho
uterus. 1t induces refreshing sleep and
relieves mental anxiety and dependency.
DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets invlMrate
the stomach, liver and bowels. One to
three dose. Easy to take as candy.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-02-06
In Quest OF Sensation.

Those spirits Upon the hunt for
"sensations' in Constantinople will
wish to take In" the dervishes. The
whirling clan have a convenient con-
vent on the Grande Rue where their
circumnavigations may be witness
cd at 1880 O'Clock on Friday even
Ing for the admission of 10 cents.
This weird performance personiies
the solar system and is exactly or
dered In all It's phases. After pre-
liminary circuits of the ring in sin
gle file to the discordant acompani-
ment of flute and tambourine, the
robed and turbaned deverishes COM
mence their turning. With arms
outstretched, the right palm upward
to beseech blessings, the left depress-
ed to signify mercy bestowed. the
head Ia bent upon the right shoulder.
The rapid revolving upon the right
heel Is effected by employing the left
toes as motive power. AS the cir
cling accelerates. the long white
skirts dilate until they stand out
stiff after the manner Of the atten-
uated garment of the premiere dam
seuse. Very little space is allotted
to each priest, and 1t seems strange
that there are no collisions. The
dance ceases In an hour or so with
the men xhausted.-Travel Maga-
zine.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-02-06
Travelling Telephones.

The Civil and Military Gazette re-
ports that Lord Kitchener has ac-
cepted for use In India form of
movable telephone, which can be
employed with great facility in the
field. The cable weighs only seven
pounds per mile, but is so well insu-
lated that 1t can be stretched across
a stream of water without loss of
current. 1t withstands a strain of
120 pounds. An apparatus for
placing and removing the cable.
working automatically, and capable
of being attached to a saddle, is en-
ployed. Recently In the Punjab a
horseman, proceeding at a gallop.
placed the cable over a distance of
two miles in seven minutes. To re-
move II 18 minutes were required.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-02-06

To form tie LEGS OF the fruit dryer
shown in the accompanying cut,
had the blacksmith cut two pieces
of an old wagon tire the desired
length ana then bend each end to
form legs eight inches high,
The outside Of the dryer frame
was covered with tin from kerosene
cans, and the top was perforated
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-02-06
Niagara and the Falls Of Lodore.

Having seen Niagara Falls, and
having read Southey's poem des-
criptive of the manner In which the
water comes down at Lodore II Is
alleged that an American became con-
vinced that the Lodore cataract was
the greater. So he went to England
to hunt up the falls Of nodore. He
set out the moment he reached Kes-
wick and walked and toiled over
rocks and boulders. He could not
find the falls. He rested and asked
a native: "Can you direct me to the
falls OF Lodore?" why, you're
a-settin' on en-" was the heart
breaking answer. The falls OF all
the adjectives were dry!
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-02-06

~ ..ss- is,s ID" - .s7k ~ "a
C.; s::;''': !; ''' ZHz1SL' Z; !; 8; =
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09
THE FLY-THEN AND NOW.

go, poor devil" said Uncle Toby,
when he had by chance entrapped a
I fly; "get thee gone! why should hurt
thee? This world, surely, is wide
enough to hold both thee and mel"
So sayin, Uncle Toby, in an i'm
mortal burst of sentiment and in an
immortal prose passage that is equal
to any like number of rhythmic words
in our English speech, released the
captured fly to prey upon the human
race
But Sterne and all the succeeding
sentimentalists are in fatal error. The
world is not wide enough to hold the
fly and u.s., Had Uncle Toby destroyed
that poor deviT' of a fly there would
have been millions fewer flies in the
world today to scatter broadcast the
fatal germs of disease. By sparing
the fly the gentle old gentleman is
doubtless responsible for many human
lives. ~
But what are human lives to senti-
ment? The fly must be spared. We
are SO instructed from the cradle to
the grave into which the fly losses us
with its little poison-laden proboscis.
The fly is our enemy, and should be
destroyed We have come to the part
ing of the ways of sentiment and SEN
timentality A single fly, after visit
ing a diseased man, may trail across
the face or hand of another person
veritable highway of disease 1t
has been estimated that a fly may
leave in it's footprints millions Of
germs, each one of which may cause
death. And each of these germs at
once multiplies it's Ubiquitous race
million-fold. The only just conclu-
sion is that Sterne and his delicious
but ignorant Uncle Toby were arrant
fools and knaves.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09
Protected Elephants Becoming a Pest
e'Hs"AaS

, these raids are made, with rare ex
ceptions, at night; and elephant
shooting in the dark is not pursuit
which commends itself to men who
have knowledge of the beast. The
annual tale of deaths caused by wild
elephants is not, it is true, a long
one; it varies each year, from 40 to
over so, the majority occurring in
Bengal and Assam, where planting
is carried on among jungles where
the animals are many and fearless of
man. But it may be suggested that
the death roll is sufficiently heavy to
justify more vigorous measures than
have yet been sanctioned by the i'm.
perial government.
The truth is the elephant has been
overpreserved in India and, as was
inevitable, has come into collision with
human interests. Large areas of vir.
gin jungle have been cleared and
brought under cultivation during the
last 80 years, and the process of re-
claiming such land, the haunts Of ele-
plant, bison and other large fauna,
continues. Not only do the planta-
tons themselves suffer; the labor
question in the tea districts has al
ways been sufficiently difficult, and
when, as has more than once occurred
during the last few years, coolies de-
sert en- masse terrorized by the noe
turnal raids of elephants and the kill
ing of comrades, sentimental objec
lions to offensive measures against q
noble species" are out of place.
There is no danger of excessive
slaughter; the vast forest tracts OF
Bengal, Assam, Madras, Burma and
other provinces afford the wild ele-
plant refuge which man cannot seri
ously disturb. Such shooting as
might be done by the planters would
make slight impression upon the
herds numerically, but granted leave
to shoot within a radius of say SO
miles of their lands, the planters
would teach the elephants to avoid
the neighborhood of man and the de
sired end would be achieved
me position of the Indian govern
ment, which lies between continuance
of strict preservation and sacrificing
revenue in the shape of taxes On cul
tivated land or sanctioning offensive
tactics, is not a novel one. The Natal
government in 1897 had to choose
between preservation of the last cher
ished group of hippopotami and the
prosperous sugar planting industry
which now cover so much of its old
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09
Fortunately

habitat. Fortunately the compe.
tition between man and elephant for
living room in India is carried On I'M
der different conditions. There is no
question of exterminating the ami
NAL, but merely of putting ''the fear
of death into him. Immunity breeds
contempt for man in some animals.
We have noteworthy example of this
in the carefully preserved black bears
in the Yellowstone valley. These
have grown SO impudent that it has
become necessary to catch the NOR
audacious individuals from time to
time, tie them up by the heels and
fog them into that respect for human
ity which undue intimacy has caused
them to lay aside
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09
GOODBYE. GOD BLESS YOU"

l like the Anglo-Saxon speech
With its direct revealings;
1t takes a hold and seems to reach
Way down into your feelings;
That some folks deem it rude, I know
And therefore they abuse it,
But have never found it So
Before all else l choose it.
don't object that men should air
The Gallo they have paid for,
With "aurevoir,' "adieu, ma chere,'
For that's what French was made
for.
But when a crony takes your hand
At parting to address you,
He drops all foreign lingo and
He says, Goodbye, God bless you!
I love the words, perhaps because
When l was leaving mother
Standing at last in solemn pause
We looked at one another;
And L l saw in mothers eyes
The love she could not tell me
A love eternal as the skies,
Whatever fate befell me.
She put her arms around my neck
And soothed the pain of leaving,
And though her heart was like to
break
She spoke no word of grieving;
She let no tear bedim her eyes
For fear she might distress me,
But, kissing me, she said goodbye
And asked our God to bless me.
Eugene Field.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09
Little Billy Discusses Matrlmony.

Weddings is a. union, something like
a labor union, for cards is used and 1t
makes members get in and hustle to
pay their dews. A welding needs
three people, two men and one wo-
man; one of these men orter be min
lister, but a justice of the piece or a
alderman can be used if a preacher
amt handy.
Sometimes a man has a turribal
time finding a girl to mary, but this
being leep year she sees him first and
their amt anything to it after that.
Befour Teller can get maryed he shud
study his girls fathers polyticks.
This helps some, and so does going
hoam early at mite, which holds down
the lectrick lite bills. Even fathers
of girls in love don't overlook a bet
like that.
Mother thing to be reckolectid is
that man shud settil up before he
tries to settil down. Some fellers
make girls think they love them by
sending preasants costing a weak's
saliry; but wize fellers prove their
devoshun by saving the coin to use
after the nupshal not is firmly tide
These last fellers is the ones which
Heaps the goant bill collectors from
the famlee speaking tube. if both
sides is evenly matched, then love
is a CRATE game, SO far as l can see
from the bleechers, for / amt old
enough to sit in the grandstand-
Newton Greene in Success Magazine.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09

Dudge from his cage. In that case a
pistol is fired near him and the star
tied beast emits roar as he leaps
from his iron prison.
A cry arises from the spectators
and the spearmen stiffen their lances
as he dashes straight toward them.
He sees too many lances in front. He
stops suddenly and thinks it over.
Then he walks sulkily around the
square, his 1.-THE body in a partly
crouching position, his tail moving
slowly from side to side, his ears
back and his yellow eyes ashine
with ugly alertness. He gives a
hideous snarl, showing his powerful
white teeth, as a handful of pebbles
are flung at him.
The little brown natives revile the
forest ruler and taunt him. They
tell him he is not in the jungle now,
and will get his desserts for killing
cattle and eating little children. They
entreat him to give sample of his
reputed ferocity. Finally a spearman
reaches forward and gently pricks
him in the flank.
Like a flash the maddened tiger
leaps high in the air and attempts to
pass the serried wall, but he is caught
on the points of several lances, and
falls back into the square amid the
shouts of the spectators. He snarls
with pain and rage, rolls around in a
whirlwind of black and yellow stripes,
springs across the Enclosure and
makes another try to escape
Again the lances catch him and the
blood flows from many wounds He
is insane with rage, and dashes
about attacking all sides of the liv-
ing barrier. 1t is rarely that he sue
ceeds in overlapping the spearmen,
as a tiger did once, and landed on
the heads of rearward spectators, who
shrieked in terror and fell over one
another, while the savage beast made
for the open gate and regained his
liberty in the tropical forest.
Generally the wounded animal falls
from exhaustion, and the spearmen
make an end Of him. The batting
goes on until all the tigers are killed
The sultan pays high prices for the
'rampok.''
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09

Tiger batting as practiced by the
daring of all sports. 1t thrills the
blood of European spectators, ana
sometimes makes them wish they
could look on from a balloon. The
cat family, and the hunting of him in
India is not conducted without an
elaborate outfit of elephants, shikaris
and rifles, yet the natives of Java let
him loose in a public square and
worry him to death with their spears.
The batting is an annual festival
called "rampok." 1t takes place in
the palace Enclosure of the native
sultans The Enclosure is mile
square and has walls fourteen feet
high and about as thick, but the bait
ing is held in long, open space
called the "alounaloun," bordered by
stately waringins, or sacred trees, OF
the island. A grand stand, occupied
by the sultan, his family and foreign
guests, faces the center of the square,
where eight or ten cages, each con-
tanning a tiger, are placed.
Thousands of spearmen, armed with
sharp-pointed lances, march UP and
surround the square, says Pauline
Aganoor in the Wide World Magazine.
Behind the spearmen are native spec
tators. 1t is thrilling moment
when the sultan gives a signal for
the sport to begin. Two unarmed
men approach one of the cages, pull
up the trap door and take to their
heels. They have job of doubtful
honor.
The jungle monster is, perhaps, in
an ugly mood and inclined to take re
venge on the first human being at
hand. One bound, and he could over
take the fleeing men. Yet it is more
likely that the tigers spirit is cowed
by long captivity, and that he, dazed
by so much publicity, refuses to
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09

Visitors at the New York aquarium
never tire of watching the harbor
seals, and one thing that pIeases
them particularly is to see the seals
fall off their table when they go to
sleep.
There are three harbor seals here,
and in the middle of their pool there
are placed close together two solid,
low tables, their tops just above the
water, on which the seals climb out
as they would on rocks to sleep or to
rest. And sometimes one or another
of the seals will climb out of the
water to one of those tables and lie
there on it, maybe close along the
edge at one side and perhaps with
it's head and forward part of its body
hanging over the edge of the table
in front, apparently all the time in
imminent danger of rolling off the
table at the side or of pitching off
head first into the water in front
And when seal lies on table
like that, sleeping or doing, people
stand around the pool watching and
waiting for the seal to fall off. He
won't hurt himself when he does fall,
he will simply fall off into the water;
but old and young, men, women and
children, will stand there with keen
interest silently watching and wait
ing for that seal to fall.
A sleeping seal is always likely to
move little in its sleep, not shifting
position, but maybe its fippers, or
giving its body little switches, and
this seal moves in that way every
now and then. 1t doesn't seem as if
it could make any movement at all
without falling off. But it does. 1t
unfoIds its tail fippers and then
folds them up together to lie still
again, and sometimes it spreads it's
forward f1ippers and then folds them
back on it's body again, and every
now and then it mods.
Its head hanging over the edge of
the table in front droops lower and
lower, and then the doing seal re-
covers it with a little jerk, just as a
person doing in chair would do.
And this nodding interests the people
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09
Dangerous Bombardment.

Pearl-"They thought at first they
would be married in Holland"
Ruby-"And what changed their
minds?"
Why, they heard that old
shoes in Holland weighed from two to
six pounds each"
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09

THAT was strange fish story
Brown told"
What was it,"
He said that the fish that got away
was the smallest one of the lot. =
Kansas City Times.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09

Digby-How long did it take you to
learn TO run motor car?
Skorcher-O! five or six.
Digby-Five or six what? Weeks?
Skorcher-No, motor cars.-Catho-
lie Standard and Times.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09

Preston Times Listen to your
wife. " says the governor of North
Carolina Evidently this is intended
for the men who cooGy turn over
and go TO sleep before the lecture is.
half over
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09

The trolley dog has appeared in
Brooklyn. He deserves his name just
as much as the coach dog does, al
though up to date there is not enough
of him to- make a separate class at
the dog show
So far only one of the type has
been observed and his habits studied
This specimen has his habitat in the
car barns of the DeKalb avenue line
AS one of the conductors put it, he
belongs to u.s."
BY birth and breeding this dog is a
black and tan. His interest, however,
seems to be conferred solely in the
trolley car and the men who run
them. One thing he must have daily
and that is a ride on a car, or more
strictly speaking a run with car.
If you go to Brooklyn by DeKalb
avenue car very late some night when
travel is slack you may see this troll
ley dog sitting proudly on the front
seat behind the motorman. AS soon
as the car gets fairly started over
the bridge the dog, who answers to
the name of Bob, will jump off and
race the car most of the way across.
He is very apt at lodging the milk
/ wagons.
When he gets tired of exercise Bob
will mount the front seat again. But
he is not allowed to rest. The con-
ductor will whistle to him and Bob
will perform high hurdle dash back
over the seats. He takes each seat
at a separate jump. No sooner is he
on the back platform than the mo-
torman whistles for him, and back
Bob will go by the same method. The
return is harder job, as a study of
the topography of open trolley car
will show.
Bob does not remain idle for any
length of time. At the sight of an
other dog or cat he is Off the car in
a jiffy for an exchange of greetings.
Sometimes he has to be recalled by
the motorman or conductor. The
wonder is that he never gets hurt,
for he leaves the car and returns to
it again when it is going at a lively
clip.
eve give him a ride nearly every
night" said the conductor, land he
always enjoys it. So, for that matter,
do we, and so do the passengers. He
is the best trolley dog in captivity
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09

Queer things come out of bottles
pink elephants, creepy lizards, black
bugs, red giraffes, hobgoblins, etc.
But not even an extra long session
with a quart of 'forty-rod' has ever
been known to produce live rat
from a bottle. Yet, up in prohibition
Maine, there's a sure-enough living
rat in a beer bottle. Wilbur Meady
of Randolph has the curiosity. The
beer bottle has small neck and the
rat must have crawled into it about
as soon as he could move, for al
though he is only three inches long
now, he cannot get out again. The
yarn.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09
Hrv Wtev

Earlie-i wish had Wsies
Gran1y Why. dp4r2
Earlie-So / could ny 40 10 the Top
shelf IN the pantry. where ..saiaeF i-ecils
the eake and jam.
Vilas County news. [volume] (Eagle River, Vilas County, Wis.) 1896-1927, 1908-09-09
Clever Hnimal
Stories

Hunters found a den of foxes in the
hills south of Hagerstown, Ind, and
unearthed five little ones about as
large as well grown cats. The mother
fox escaped before the hunters
reached the den, which was line1
thickly with soft grasses and feath-
ers. Instead of running away she
kept within sight while the hunters
worked with their shovels.
She apparently understood what
they were doing, for she endeavored
by every means to attract them away
from their work and toward herself.
She approached quite near and acted
as if lame and distressed. She would
lie down on her side and writhe along
the ground, uttering whines and
means. Then she would limp off as
if very lame, going very slowly and
halting frequently.
The hunters were not to be drawn
away from the work sin hand by such
ging, came upon the den where the
five pretty little fellows were shrink
ing. They made no resistance and
seemed rather to like the handling
and petting they received. All of
them were taken to farm house,
where they are confined. They will
not be released, but probably will be
painlessly dispatched, Grown foxes
do not make good neighbors in farm
ing communities. Hunters say it is
very rare for mother foxes to leavN
all their young in one place. 1t is
their cunning habit to scatter the fam
lily, one and two in widely separated
retreats. 1t is said, too, that foxes
will not rob roosts close to their
dens, but will go miles away for
food and carefully hide their trails.