The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1908-09-10
LETTER FROM BILKIss.
Happy Days In Alexander County
Political Points That Are Rather
Pointed-Mrs. BiIkins Looks nj the
Mountains and is Frightened-TIle
Good Old Times Are All Over
How to Raise Children.
Correspondence OF the Caucasian
Enterprise

Enterprise.
Bilkinsville. n. c., Sept. Z. 1908.
| am goln' up in Alexander county
In few days. / don't know what |
VIII do with my mule Bob when
git up thar, fer they say that they
iz no less than 115 licensed brandy
distilieries runnin' in that county.
tWenty-four hours per day, an the
fruit crop liz large. Bob IL a prohi-
bitionist an | reckon he will be DOW
erfully put out when he gifts up thar
an finds hit a wet country The
pollytishuns wuz afeared that Alex
ander an Wilkes mite go Republican
an so they allowed them ter be ex-
cepted when they wuz buildin' the
State Prohfbishun law. Hit liz need
| less ter say rite here an now that il
they had thought that they wuz real
danger ov the State goin' Republican
they would not heV bin any prohi-
bishun in any county. We dyma-
krats would let ticker, famine, pesti-
| lence, grass hoppers, rattIesnakes,
wild jackasses or anything else over
run the State if we thought they wuz
real danger oV gittin' beat in the
next or any future eleckshun. In
fact, the game we wuz playin' when
we passed the State prohibishun law
WuZ ter git most oV the church folks
solid, fer we wuz gist a little bit on
easy the way things wuz lookin'. But
We really didn't care whut becum ov
the churches. We wuZ willin' ter
| give up the churches, the ticker, an
everything else rather than git beat
by the Republicans. An we air
Willin' ter cum out in favor ov awl-
most anything frum prohibishun ter
child-slavery in order ter carry our
pints. Bill Moody says he would
rather have both ov hiz hands, an
his feet cut Off than ter live under a
Republican administrashun fer six
months; an he voices the wishes ov
every true an tried dymakrat in
North Carolina, fer we actually be-
lieVe that the happiness ov awl the
people depends on our holdin' offs
every day in the year, rain Or shine.
Mrs. Bilkins liz visitin' Ground up
here in Iredell county an she kin see
| the mountains at a distance; in
| fact, they liz sum small mountains in
this county. She sez they look so
big an blue that hit makes the cold
chills run up an down her spiral
collum ter look at them even at a
distance. She imagines she kin see
| the rattlnSnakes craWlin' ut OV their
| dens in the rocky cliffs an sunnin'
| themselves every day when hit IL
clear, even though the mountains air
some distance erWay, an she thinks
that aWl the people air in danger ov
| bein' bit every time they step out
/ OV the house an no Ticker nearer
| than Richmond or Louisville. Betsy
awlways wuz foolish erbout little
Ticker fer medisin' an fer corn
shuckins, barn raisins, log rollins
toothache, bad colds, roomytisum,
camfer, that tired feelin' an fer gen.
eral household and kitchin' purposes.
I hev even knowed her ter put up
peaches in brandy an use them fer
sass erlong in the spring ov the
year.
But them guide old days air awl
| over. Fer six thousan' years we
had icker ov awl sorts, wine, slider,
beer, rum an other household ne
cessities. But them guide old days
air awl over an we now hev nothin'
but hard work, pollyticks, sickness,
an sich like. The land iz awl post
ed so we can't go fishin' nor 'possum
huntin', except on our own land, on
less we git CERTIFICATE frum dock
ter an permit from the Governor.
| One of the wise men who lived erway
back yonder when people could say
an think what they pleased, sed:
HE liz governed best who is gov
erned least But them guide old
days air awl gone. Hit will soon be
so that you can't take chaW oV
terbacker without a CERTIFICATE from
a dockter or permit frum the chair
man ov the party in power, counter
signed by the editor ov the State
origin. In the old days, when aWl
the countries wuz presided over by
a King, Queen, Duke or Emperor OF
sumpthin' ov that sort, the folks hao
a hard time. They had ter give VI
purity much awl they made ter the
crowned heads an the small fry pol
lytishuns that backed up the roya
cattle. The folks who cum ter Amer
Iiky an settled wuz tired ov tha
an the ytaught their children words
like this: "Give me liberty or give
me DEATH" an ''The heel ov the op
pressor shall not crush our necks.
That awl sounded purity nice, an
, things doomed fer awhile. But TIT
popu1ashun ov the world is erbou
fifteen hundred millions-mostl.
fools. They air never happy onles
) they air bein' humbugged. So afte
{ estab1ishin' government here II
'free Ameriky" an gittin' things Il
purity guide shape fer a few years
things went on purity well so far a
we could notice. But the pollyti
shuns couldn't stand that an so the
: Isot out with few old sawdust skum
Y lin new boxes an we air rapid.
i, lgein' back ter the old days whe
they wuzzent hardly spot in tn
world az big az your hand that WI
e fit fer a decent family ter live IL
s I'm sorry, but hit liz not my nate
d ter cry. F-hen the folks git tire
lbein' humbugged they will quit hi