Bisbee daily review., 1908-07-25
A CRYING
 EVIL
gCopyright.)
By Tom Masson.

~AAA@NAASA WC ot41tts natE -tc HIffA NAAAN&| agitating at the present time.
 Some ladies claim that where one is changing husbands all the time even one baby is supertiuous and any more would be a public nuisance. For one thing. babies are always more or less in the way. They interfere with European travel and are hard to hold in horse-cars. They are not allowed in baggage-cars, cannot be sent by freight or express. nor checked at a hotel. They seem to be naturally wicked, are hard to raise. and seldom repay the trouble they cause.
 A baby around the house often in terferes with the pleasures of the nurse. He is always falling out of his carriage or interrupting her in the midst of sn exciting novel A nurse ought to have as good a time as anyone else, but the baby often keep her from the highest enjoyment. It is hard for her to run downstairs and call up her best fellow when the baby is running loose without collar or leader Along with other modern 
 house ought to have a telepfcne switch In the nursery and sage the gentle and patient nurse as many steps as possible.
 Babies are ge 1ly admitted to be a poor secu Although great deal of money is put .ato them, nc baby would be sccc pted as collateral by ones butcher or broker They draw relatives, are hard to name, and almost always develop the worst traits of our ancestors. not to mention our selves.
 The number of babies had by un- intelligent and shortsighted parents doesn't matter in kind. but in degree. If one baby is a general nuisance, it stands to reason that two of them ought to be twice as bad. But the truth is, by the law of perturbation, two are three times as bad as one, and three, six times as bad as two.
 A single baby can be slowed away in an alcove or a soap-box and his cries muffled by any hard-hearted old female, but a trained nurse and a corps of faithful assistants will fail in the case of two.
 That is the supreme danger of hay ing babies, anyway. Providencef has no head for figures. One of them can be decently tolerated and treated by the philosophic mind like any other bad investment But when we are up against two or three of them, as the stork may be-when we have to el- bow our way down to breakfast in the morning and there is a wintry forest of cribs in all the upper stories, almost any kind of hereafter is welcome change.
 It is a common belief that when. fin our youthful days, the sanctity of our homes is invaded by babies, it's such a real good thing, because they will support us in our old age. But by the time the returns are beginning to come in the chances are about ten to one that our candidates are going to be beaten at the polls. Most of us by that time are too old to care. What we need most of all is someone to sup port us while we are bringing the babies up.
 It's all very well, when you are about 80 years old and full of rheuma- tism and "reminiscences, to sit by the freside of your wealthy soninlaw CT daughter-in-law and while you are spinning some prosy old yarn to your delighted audience. to have your brow smoothed by gentle hands. and a $2Oa-month maid standing over you with her arms full of rare old Madeira and Canary in gold decanters. But that isn't what happens in real life. What happens in real life is that you are relegated to some drafty attic room for about 20 hours day to nurse your troubles and keep them to yourself, are put on regular allow ance of about 90 cents a week, and then, when the word is passed around that grandpa" is coming to join the family circle, there Is a general stam- pede for the outskirts of the estate. Your baby boy of 30 years ago, the batter of whose footsteps you listened to. wondering what the shoe bill would be, and thinking of the glori ous future, is now busy with troubles of his own, and has no time for "grandpa's'' heart-to-heart talks.
 We should be wrong to deprecate babies too strongly. There are two sides to every calamity. Occasionally we hear of a baby who has made him self useful, has successfully broken open bank and got away with all the money, or else been smart enough to grow up and become a magnate, rob ping the general public and his coun- try and thereby developing into a re- spectable member of the community.
 But, speaking generally, babies are to be deplored. They always come when not wanted. They are out of place. They hinder education, in terrupt the reading of the popular magazines, keep us up nights, and oftentimes humiliate us deeply, cut ting us to the heart by their great numbers and frequency. They spread undelightful diseases. promote germs and are constantly adding to the mum Der of undesirable folks.
 If there could be g regular baby industry. in which only the trst-class article were permitted to exist, much mitigation of the present unhappy state of affairs might result As 1t Is, there are too many. seconds.
 Every baby ought to have the mak- CTS guarantee. and when he doesn't come up to the mark he ought to be returned c. o. D At present. how ever. there seems nothing to do but to mourn our gain