Willmar tribune., 1908-12-30
Loves Vibrometer.

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copyright. 1908. by American Press Asso-
ciation]
II fear, professor" she said, toying
with her fam, that if should marry
you you would be constantly referring
everything to scientific cause. If, for
instance, you were so devoid Of feel
Ing as to forget to give me even a
flower on the anniversary Of our we'd
ding YOU would excuse yourself on the
ground that the Photographic impress
sion on your brain had not been suf-
nclently strong, whereas your action
would be-well, it would be just hor-
hd"
mo; l should say that mental &C.
hvity in another direction blurred the
picture"
(Which would still be horrid. You
are so STEPPED In materialism that all
sentiment has gone out of you"
sentiment! You mean sentimental
Ism. And what is sentimentalism?
Manufactured emotion. I say manu-
factured emotion, for it surely is not
natural. like anger, fear, pity. And
how many couples does it tie up in
matrimonial chains who are not fitted
for each other? With what result?
Misery and divorce"
"Then you don't believe in marriage
for love. You would SCOrn those hap.
py moments of lovers in the moon
light, among flowers, listening together
to strains Of sweet music"
"Why not say with Shakespeare, To
the lascivious pleasing of luteT
grant you that all these things induce
passion. but is mere passion a suf-
ficient reason for marriage?'
"Cf course not" Indignantly.
"Thc scientist, where he reaches a
foundation for his faith. stands on
bedrock. There is where l stand in
the matter Of love- We have attained
to a knowledge Of what love is. We
may not always be able to determine
if it exists between two people in a
sufficient degree to warrant marriage,
but believe the day will come when
1t will be measured to scale, just as
we measure our weight, temperature,
pulse"
"In other words, trained nurse puts
love thermometer ON our hearts and
reads zero, temperate, grand passion,
as the case may be. People who SUBJ
nit to such absurdity are indeed fit to
be under the care Of nurse. A luna
tic asylum is the proper place for
them
Suppose in 2CO marriages 100 Of the
couples are brought together by your
moonlight, flowers, music and such
it a vibrometer. In the first hundred
cases we cannot expect all to turn out
happily. Let us assume that sixty are
happy, thirty unhappy and ten are d.
vorced. Now, if every case pronounced
by the vibrometer to be genuine love
say. 50 per cent, to allow for errors
turns out happily if the amatory oscil-
lations continue through a long life,
would you admit the scientific method
to be the better?'
"Oh, certainly! And If you should
pump gas into me from one Of your
abominable machines that would make
me soar in the Sky l would admit that
you are a conjurer."
"NOw, l have said that we know
what love is. 1t has been defined by
DR.. Scheibler of the Berlin Institute
Of Electro Therapeutics thus: The os-
citations in the interior of persons
body, as may be seen in the case of
vibratory attraction, are in harmony
that is to say, they are at the first
movement in complete accordance with
the oscillations in the interior of some
other persons body"
"Oscillations. That's a mans love-
And the more women between which
he may oscillate the better l suppose .
"Please don't interrupt. 1T Is, OF
course, necessary that the reactiOnary
sentiment y
Sentiment? You mean clockwork.' y
-" lin the case Of the two sub
jects' -
"Automatons."
--"'should be Of an agreeable na.
ture'"-
"a grin painted on their faces.'
-" since the two vibrations facilitate
the movement Of all the atoms which
in this way accumulate and emit their