Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-06-03

That once had uttered cheers.
California" doomed the clerk.
And the whole convention laughed
When q revenue collector rose
And whistled shrilly through his nose,
Count 20 more for Taftv'
Inc Hughes men looked at the Cannon
Aid they crawled out of their chairs
And the Fairbanks fellows joined them
when
They pulled their Teddy Bears.
And they all rushed upon the center stage
AS men who had made ready
And when the din and the tumuit died
And the dust had settled down inside,
The candidate was Teddy,
And when Bill Taft discovers what a
mean trick they have played him, he'll
shed his coat and go to find the man who
has betrayed him. He'll lumber up the
White House steps with each jump grow
ing warmer, and Ted will hear him COM
ing in and slip into his armour. THEY'LL
spar around the room bit and Ted will
cry, See here, Bill 1 know the whole
affair must look all. thunderation queer.
Bill, but listen: You'll be named for
vice, and when we're both elected. why,
I'll resign. You'll get it, Bill-fact is,
that suspected Bryan would defeat
you, Bill, which made it necessary for
me to head the ticket, Bill, lest every.
thing miscarry."
And Bill will sink into a chair. aware
that he has messed it, and will exclaim.
II see it now By Jove, 1 should have
guessed it o, most ungrateful wretch
am L, to think that you who made me-
my benefactor and my friend - had
shamelessly betrayed metz
Whereat they will embrace and hug
AS lovers reunited,
And Ted will rest on Williams breast
And softly say, "De-lighted!"
June gets its name from Juno. the Ro-
man goddess Of marriage Juno was
supposed to see everybody happily mar
|
this tor she herself had married Jupiter.
who was worse runabout than Boni
Gould. When the celestial chorus was
playing Parnassus, Jupiter hung around
the stage door like a Pittsburger. He
stirred up more scandal than Tom Platt
and was as bold as Gilmanaire Gorey
Juno finally avenged herself upon her
rivals by turning them into cows, which
made Jupiter a cattle king
The college graduate will hear
The Macedonian cry
VI Kansas farmers who must get
Their wheat cut by July.
They ii rustic out while yet the lark
Is chirruping his matin,
And chase the binder round the field
Exuding Greek and Latin
The dinner bell will bring the sage,
the scholar and the cynic, and dinner
will be a sort of scientific clinic. AS
tronomers will talk of Mars, of Saturn
and of Venus, and Latinists recall few
romances of Silenus. The Junobug will
be mentioned as the Lachnosterna and
other bugs will speak of land as being
terra firma. They'll quarrel, shout and
sometimes swear in Arabic and Greek,
and now and then dainty hand will
clasp damask cheek. And all the while
the farmer, full Of wondering and doubt
will deeply marvel what the hotel Bill
it's ali about.
The Anti Saloon League willing, the
2lst will be the longest day of the year.
Upon that date the SUI will reach the
Tropic of Cancer in the northerIy decI-
nation and will start south again. On
the same day the month will pass out of
the influence Of Gemini the Twins. and
persons born after the 2lst need not be
afraid. They will not have any. Upop
the contrary the stork will fill only sin.
gle orders under the zodiacal sign of
Cancer the Grab. Children born under
this sign will crawl backward and CRY
for crabapple jelly.
The smiling heavens will inspire
The skylark and the linnet,
And the busy parents will turn out
new bride every minute.
A few friends will throw shoes and rice,
And taste the wedding cake
And then make bets among themselves
whether it will take.
Mr.. Bryan will complete his wall
around Denver about the Both nnd will
set deadfall at the gate tor Governor
johnson. In the course of the month
all democrats who have fought fistfights
on the floor Of congress, or in any other