Okolona messenger. (Okolona, Miss.) 1900-current, 1908-12-23
Deacon Foster's
Grab Bag


spfoaone can.
Hello. sam" cried the proprietor
In glad hand voice "llows thugs
down your way7 uy ther way, Sam,
what was goln ON NJ thor church fair
Thursday night2 hear ~ how Deacon
Foster got all excited like an said lhct
while prayin was all right there was
times when II wouldn't MI Their biz
like good ola cussln 20
"llo was goin' somc.' answered sam
with reflective smile, and fer n
while everybody was kind o feared
tibet he would bust Their harness or
dish a wheel Ye see Their deacon Is
full o schemes fer collectin money
fer Their church, an when it was kind
o. noised around the he was goin' ter
spring somethin' new at Their fair
everybody hiked fer ther town hall.
Purity soon ther deacon come in
with his new scheme, which looked
for all the world like a two-bushel
bag o pertaters, an after ther par
son had made a few remarks fe" Their
benefit o. their sinners what was still
holdlu' back, Their deacon stepped up
ON Their platform,
Dear brothers an beloved sisters,
said he in his boss tradin voice. l
hey arranged somethin' new fer your
editcation an pleasure an heV every
reason ter believe thet it will be Their
sensation O Their evening. In this bag
are several carefully wrapped pack
ages, an fer Their small sum O five
cents ye will be permitted ter grab
any one We like, which O. course must
be opened in full view O. Their audi
ence. All Their packages is useful as
we'll as ornamental an some O. them
will make We feel like claspin' hands
an singin' songs o praise. Now then,
who will be the first to take pack
age from Their grab bag?'
All hands. kind O. baked bashful-
like fer a while, but purity son 81
Gimp was coaxed ter start Their game,
and from Their gingerly way thet he
picked out one O. ther packages We
might hev thought he was monkeyn'
with hornets nest 81 wouldn't open
it, an Mandy, thinkin' tibet it might
be candy, got on Their job herself In
jes two seconds she had Their paper
tore off, an instead O. candy she found
she had nursin bottle like mother
used ter use First she blushed,
then she turned red, and then she
blushed again.
In ther meantime Their Ladies aid
acted as if they was shocked, an Their
he was surprised. Their deacon said
lie was surprised, too, an offered a
pan O scrapple when he killed hogs
to anyone who would tell him how
ther nursin' bottle got inter the bag.
Nobody made a bid fer Their pan O.
scrapple, an when Their deacon had
argued himself inter good standin
agin an Mandy found she wasn't half
as mad as she thought she was, the
grab bag game went on. Their parson
put up five cents an made a grab, an
s. did one O. Their Ladies' aid an Dave
Sleeper. All three o. them started
ter open Their packages at the same
time, an when Their returns was count
ed Their parson had half pint O.
whisky, Their Ladies aid sister had a
deck O. cards, an Dave Sleeper had a
lot O poker chips.
We'll, sir We jes oughter seen tibet
crowd. Their nursin' bottle was bad
enough, but half pints an poker was
exceedin Their speed limit, an Their
way them distracted sisters tried to
throw a 10-horse power faint on FIVE
pounds O. steam was a sight ter see,
even II We had ter take knothole in
Their fence instead o. Their grardstand.
Them ,het wasn't tryin ter faint was
maxim a noise tibet sounded like big
talk One them was marchin
around like George Washington, an
other was smellin' O. Their parsons
half pint ter see if it was Their real
stuff, an still another was tellin' her
husband what she would do ter the
deacon's face if she was a man.
las soon as he was able to move
without help Their parson made an
other dive fer Their grab bag without
putin up Their nickel an out come
more chips, more cards an another
half pint or two Then the parson
had a few things ter say tibet didn't
include ther Doxology or Benediction,
an told the deacon in plain words
tibet he was bum citizen to talk
about savin' sinners This made Their
deacon as hot as tho middle of Au-
gust
He decIafed tibet what he put in tibet
bag was Testaments, candy, an that
some dod-blasted heather tibet he was
goin' to wallup first an forgive after
ward, had played a joke on him. With
his coat off an sleeves rolled up, Their
deacon was so convincin' tibet Their
rarson and Ladies' aid believed what
he told them, an jes as soon as he
had been taken back inter Their fold
an called dear brother agin', he pick
ed UP a fence Stat and started ter
look fer Their Teller what played Their
joke. he"
Il don't blame him fer actin up a
bit" broke in the proprietor. WHO
do We s'pose 1t was?"
Don't know as | kin say exactly"