davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1908-01-06
From Zone of the Shunted."

Editor The Washington Herald
The timely story I'm your paper Of De-
cember 81. entitled, "Solons are Angry"
sits smiling to the approval Of not a few
who took the "try out for the job Of
reading clerk Of the Senate. The story
was Just. and speaks the sentiments Of
not q few "verdant and virgin" fools
who came to the scratch. only to find that
they lacked coil in their lamps"
Many were called, few were chosen. for
the more satisfying test. There may be
some Of your readers curious to know
what the trying out process was. As
one who went on the fools GRAND let
me recall it, to show inadequacy Of the
preliminary test
I have frequently been asked. What
aid you read and how much?" &c
Scene-An empty, somewhat hallowed
chamber, not quite empty. for the umpire
and an assistant were there. in executive
session, At the door an attendant, and
waiting expectant Anon. attendant saws
to expectant, please pass in, sir" Ex-
pectant enters the awe-inspiring chamber,
swclIs his chest, and marches to the
elongated concaved desk in front Of the
Vice Presidents chair.
On tEe eoncayed desk lies a voluminous
pamphlets across, near Senator THlman's
seat. sits the umpire You catch his eye
He says: please read the title Of that
pamphlet beside you" II is read-Roose-
velts late message. Now, will you
please turn TO page -- and read -."
You turn and read ten or dozen lines
az ordinary speed. Now viii you raise
our voice and read the same as fast as
lou CAM
You do so "What is your namc?" (You
feel that it may be Dennis) THAT will
DO, thank YOU and you take a sneak
Time Of try-out. from bold advance TO
the desk. 10 sneak from same, just one
minute and twenty seconds. In that space
the comprehensive intellect OF the UNI
pire .Hs sized you up as to vocal enuncia-
ton and fitness TO stand up and be
counted later with the elect for further
try-out.
Bosh, That process was but to clear
the docket of the surplus of applicants.
The cook takes an onion and peels off
layer after layer to get at the sweet
meat Of the vegetable. So here, the UNI
pire took the jam Of applicants, peeled
off threc-score or more. until he got down
to the acceptable
This Inadequate process evolved nine.
One of the irreverent "peeled-offs' called
it Benefits Base Bawl Nine" For final
choice Will the nine play bawl before the
Senators, and let vote settle il. or the
lone secretary, whose arbiter djctum will
settle it9
The former way would seem to be the
fair way. And If nine have that test.
why not ffty-nine of those who were
shunted?
Sound the recall, Mr. Bennett, and
prove that an adequate test can be had
in an examination Of the civil service
stripe.
Let the arena be the Senate chamber.
the judges. the Senator'S: as many as are
willing to listen. Let each applicant
choose his own recitation or reading, not
to exceed five minutes. Take them in
alphabetical order and try out twelve a
The Washington herald., 1908-01-06
Canals on Mars.

Editor The Washington Herald
II is wonderful the amount of misin-
formation about the canals on Mars
and who discovered them! AS a matter
of fact. no one ever discovered canals
on Mars. but the eminent Roman astrono-
mer Schiapareli, many years ago dis
covered and mapped what he called
"canales." being italian for channel a
natural waterway. and far. very far, re-
moved from the Anglican canal, which
is an artificial waterway.
This want of lingual perspicacity has
even got into and on our Alaskan coast
maps. where for instance, Lynn Canal, g"
a natural channel ten to twelve miles
wide. and nearly 100 miles in length is
wrongly transcribed from the original
Spanish explorers sketch maps. where il
was "csnale" It should be Lynn Chan
mel. as is Behm Channel. 10 the south
Of It. MAX PRACHT.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-06
Would Promote Vice Presidents.

Editor The Washington Herald.
A great deal is said these DAYS I'm re-
a gard to the Vice Presidency of the United
States. 7 think a solution of the prob
lem and a solution of the problem of a
second term, TO say nothing of a third
term, is in making the Presidential term
one or four years only. but make the
Vice President the direct successor Of the
President I mean this-elect a person
TO the Presidency for one term only. but
make It constitutional law that the
Vice President elected at the same time
snail be his successor for the next four
years
In doing this strong man viii be put
on the ticket with the first choice, and
thus first and second choice viii bo
named for the Presidency and the Wee
Presidency, with the assurance that the
Vice President VIII become the President
IN regular order, We would have. then.
an election only once I'm eight years. so
that the country would not be torn with
conflicting interests oftener than this
Furthermore. the successful party would
be iu power for eight years. with the
insurance that its policies would be car
lled out during that time No man, then.
No"iu leel Ike rejecting the offer Of the
wee Presidency for fear that he would
ne shelved. This plan would also tend
10 unite warning factions of the same
party Tor instance, those Republicans
deSirous Of making Taft the nominee OF
tlc party and those equally strenuous
lor hughes could agree that Taft and
Hughes should be the candidates. and
II elected both in due time would serve
al she head Of the nation.
Ihe same would be true OF the Demo-
c.auc party. Let Bryan and Johnson be
lhe candidates; then. If elected. Bryan
would serve his term, then Johnson. or
whoever was on the ticket would sue
ceed hin If the man elected TO serve
htst succeeded. the Vice Presidcut-elect.
Wheh ne should become the President.
could carry out the same policy with
such Improvements as time and the
changes wrought thereby should sug-
gest as for the best good Of the country.
II is true this plan would not provide
fQS Vice President during the second
administration. but if vacancy should
occur, the regular order of succession
could bc adhered 90 as at present pro-
vlded for.
Thus there would be no scurrylng to
The Washington herald., 1908-01-06

her, and afiirms that the cancer was not
apparent The closing sentence OF the
clipping reads as follows: This was
case In which Christian Science got the
credit of curing her, she embracing this
faith after he first saw her Comment IS
useless. except to sadly note how ioath
men are 10 turn to God until all human
aid fails, and even after being healed TO
deny Him credit for His works. Perhaps
the nine lepers. who failed to return and
give thanks. thought they We're "spon-
taneously healed" and there seems to be
quite few of their ilk on earth to-day,
Withholding honor where it is due It is
not honest EDWARD {. NORWOOD.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-06

day. After conclusion of this test. let
the Senators vote on the best voice.
Plurality TO decide.
It seems 20 me that in this way "A
cracking good reading clerk can be
had. and all fault-fndng silenced.
Another suggestion would be, to let the
public hear the contests.
T. /. WHEELER
The Washington herald., 1908-01-06
The Safest Investments

number Of smallpox cases 20 date IS I5l;
deaths, e. cases Of varioloid, s.; deaths
none This makes 36 per cent Of v8Ti0loid
while savaEes. not one Of whom had ever
been vacc.uated. have been credited with
% per cent. EUGENE BITES.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-06
REPORT or THE TERMINAL STOR-
AGE COMPANY OF TIE DISTRICT

REPORT or THE TERMINAL STOR-
AGE COMPANY OF THE DISTRICT
OF COLUMBIA.
We, the president and ANA iority of the
trustees of the Terminal Storage Com
pany OF the District of Columbia. hereby
report and certify that the capital of said
company Is five hundred and fifty thou
sand dollars tS5500o0l. fully paid. and thar
there are no existing debts, except deed
in trust, dated July H. 1901 and recorded
in lber 2543, folio i54 ct seq one of the
land records of the District OF Columbia
EDWARD J. STELLWAGEN.
President.
JAMES 9. PAYNE.
r. Z. MCGUIRE
J. H. SMALL Jr..
GEORGE T. HAMILTON.
Trustees.
District of Columbia. ss
EDWARD J. STELLWAGEN. president
OF the Terminal Storage Company of the
District Of Columbia. being duly sworn.
depOses and says that the above state
ment is true 10 the best OF his knowledge
and belief
EDWARD J. STELLWAGEN
Subscribed and sworn 10 before me this
% day Of January. a. ID. 1865
tSeaLl ALBERT ". SIOU SSA.
Notary Public. =. c.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-06

shelter when the Vice President bomb
was hurled among the aspirants for the
Presidency, as suggested in recent car
toon IN your valuable paper.
CLARK J. BROWN.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-06

MONEY AT 5 PER CENT
LOANED On d. c. REAL ESTATE.
HEISKELL & McLERAN,
1ics II STREET.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-06

come ends, not means they are no longer
productive in character, and become
luxuries, FsTELLE AVERY SHARPE.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-06
FINANCIAL.
FINANCIAL.
FINANCIAL.

ghoursop 10 p @ % 10 I 2and6 o he
of ehm month p when a
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-06-26


going? What makes you go? You can think Of
me waiting here alone until you get back. l shall
sit up until you get home"
Think of selfrespectng ablebodied and mind
ed man being subjected to that every time he goes
out of the house. Could you bear it, OH sister
woman, If he put you through like questioning?
why should man or woman be required to
give an account Of all the moments as they fly?
Speaking of human beings from my own stand
point should say there Is nothing dearer than
freedom of the individual and nothing much hard
er to bear than any infringement upon it. I con-
slider being questioned almost the objectionable
ohense OH the part of friend, yet left to myself
probably should tell him or her all knew but
quzzing me always results in my telling nothing
and there must be others like that
Something of this kind said to Ella and that
to ask man much seemed to me like an in
dignity. She replied: How funny you are! Why
should he object to telling If he isn't going
where he is ashamed to have it known? Am
not his wife and entitled to know all he does?"
"He probably might tell you without your ask
ing If you gave him chance, but anybody with
an atom of sense would object to being forced to
tell every time he turned around and why"
'If he loves me he ought to be willing to tell
me so little thing as that"
What are you going to do with woman like
that to live with every day-love her? Yes but
you VIII come to the conclusion that dumbness
is not without some compensatons
Once was visiting a friend who had been the
most romantic and sentimental of girls When
she was first married she wept bitterly because
her husband said another woman was the hand
soonest one he had ever seen.
No other woman ought to be so handsome to
man as his wife, however she looks" sobbed
She as II man lost his eyesght when he mar
ried Wouldn't you suppose woman would lose
confidence in her husbands judgment If he
thought she was the most beautiful of women
when her mirror told her she was not?
While was at this friends home her husband
told at dinner of something funny that had hap
pened that day In the office, addressing his re-
marks directly to her. She made no pretense of
listening, and evidently did rot hear word
you don't seem to see anything funny In that?"
"Oh, i never listened to 1t at all. l thought
likely 1t was as stupid the stories you usually
tell'-rudeness in her manner as in her words
She often sighs because marriage is SO different
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-06-26
One of Bill Nye's,

Referring to a real estate transac-
tion made by one Peter Minuit, way
back in the year 1923, Bill Nye, in his
history of the United States, declared:
New York was afterwards sold for
S24; the whole island. When | think
of this l go into my family gallery,
which l also use as swear room, and
tell those ancestors what | think of
them. Where were they when New
York sold for $24?"
The humor of this strikes deeply
when one stops to consider what has
been the outcome of this original in.
vestment. Peter Minuit, with trinkets
and few bottles of rum, so delighted
the native indians that they gladly
turned over to him the whole of Man.
haitian island, now the heart of
Greater New York.-"New York, tbs
Giant City" National Magazine.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-06-26

that had that flavor; one would be as comfort
able walking tacks as living with man VINO
is never suited never praising but always md
ing fault.
1 have never seen an instance of very happy
marriage when the woman was the bread win
ner II the husband strong, well man. IL
a woman makes a home and cares properly Tor
the husband and children who should be In It,
she has business enough within the walls of her
house. Whatever she does outside is just so much
taken from the strength and thought that belong
rightly to the home and its inmates From the
beginning IL has been woman's part to care for
what the man provided, and this instinct is
rooted back many centuries, and is a part of the
human race to-day. So surely as 1t Is violated
for anything but the greatest need the woman
and the suffer for the violation She grows
to despse the man who does not provide for
her-and he loses his self-respect.
The woman who works with all her might to
help a man make money, makes a great mis-
take if she is seeking happiness, for the money
is bought at the cost of the character develop
ment in tenderness and unselhshness that the
man needs and gets when he looks after his
wife as he wants to when he marries. 1t should
be some very strong cause that leads her to take
from him this right to an unsel6sh manhood. The
woman who makes true home does more for
the man than she does by going into the labor
mart, and she cannot do both.
1t is true that the happiness of married life
depends a good deal upon the woman-more,
think, than upon the man-because her strength
lies in just and proper using of the powers of
heart and spirit, OF course, men sometimes are
trying and dense, but have most unprom-
Using material made into husbands who de-
lightful and the envy of women who had not
known cared how to what was theirs to
build with
One cannot be happy with an unbearably jeal-
GUS man who suspects his wife at every turn,
but the man with minor faults, such as asking
What did you do with the so cents l gave you
last week?" may be cured by the right handling
1t may be hard to be happy If you have black
eyes and hair, when your husband takes pleasure
In calling your attention to beauties with blue
eyes and golden hair and tells you how he al
ways admired that style Of beauty, but think
what compliment he paid you In preferring you
In spite OF his fancy for another type Of come
uness. Copyright. by Joseph 3, sowlsalssy
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-06-26
ECZEMA ALL OVER HIM.
No Nights Rest for Year and Limh
of His Endurance Seemed Near
Owes Recovery to Cuticura.

my son Clyde was almost COM
pletely covered with eczema. Physi.
clans treated him for nearly a year
without helping him any. His head.
face, and neck were covered with large
scabs which he would rub until they
fell off. Then blood and matter would
run out and that would be worse.
Friends coming to see him said that il
he got we'll he would be disfigured for
life. When it seemed as If he could
possibly stand it no longer, l used
some Cuticura Soap, Cuticura Oint-
ment, and Cuticura Resolvent. That
was the first night for nearly year
that he slept. In the morning there
was great change for the better. In
about six weeks he was perfectly well.
Our leading physician recommends
Cuticura for eczema. Mrs Algy
Cockburn, Shiloh. o., June II. 1907"
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-06-26
g5Y9ZE:,5E;;|' II s. |a
SElGAIaI1EIlEEl5llF2|||s:2 II1IlE5lF
WAR MYSTERY SOLVED.
Story of the Escape of John Morgan
from Ohio Penitentiary.

Ever since the escape OF John Nor.
gan, the famous confederate raider
from the Ohio penitentiary, insinua.
tions have been made that Morgan
and six Of his comrades had outside
assistance from soNthern sympathiz-
ers, and that Warden Nathaniel Meri.
on connived at the escape.
Thomas w. Bullitt of Louisville,
lieutenant in the Second Kentucky
cavalry during the celebrated Morgan
raid, has just visited the cell in the
Ohio penitentiary in which he was
confined in 1S63-64 as prisoner of
war This is Mr.. Bullitt's first visit to
the penitentiary since the escape.
In very expressive terms he denies
the insinuations regarding the escape.
Accompanied by the deputy warden.
Mr.. Bullitt visited the cell in which
he was confined and also that occupied
by Morgan.
There was no outside help in the
escape" said Mr.. Bullitt IL know,
because l was in with the plan from
the first, and l helped dig the tunnel
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-06-26
He Had Broken somethlna.

Mrs. Wilson had a young Japanese
servant who had habit OF trying
to conceal from his mistress any
breakage Of dishes of which he
CHANGED to be guilty. The good lady
explained that it was wicked to de
ceive. and directed the Japanese to
tell her whenever he broke anything.
The boy promised to do as she ad.
vised. One day, while Mrs. Wilson
was entertaining some friends in the
parlor, the Japanese suddenly ap.
peared in the doorway. His teeth
were barred in childlike smile, and
his eyes sparkled with the light of con,
scious virtue:
"Meesa Wirson, you terra me, when
break somesing to terra you. break
my pants!"-Success Magazine.
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-06-26

is not proof that it is a success, is the excel
lence of institution proved by the few cases
but by the many. The few but prove the posi-
bility of success where there is more often but
slight measure Of it.
No who has considered the matter thought
fully doubt that marriage at it's best is the
perfect life, ideal in its relations and in its deve
opment of the best type of man and woman, but
unfortunately, that thing may be is not the same
that it is.
To an outsider of the strongest arguments
against matrimony is the number of those who try
to get out of it. Being tied is in itself a condi-
tion trying to erratc temperament, for you are
never so eager to get away when you know
you can't.
! have watched devoted lovers grow into in
different partners, and also have seen most beau
tiful marriages grow from rather commonplace
wooings so the advance stage seems not much
of an indication what the future will give. ...t
One OF my girl friends said to me of her fiance:
81 am not one of the silly girls who cannot see
faults in those they care for. l see them all
the palmer because love, and though have hunt
ed very hard for them, can't fault in Joe,
and SO know he hasn't got any" She and Joe
got married and went their loving way. Some
years later I met her, and in the course of con-
versaton she surprised me by saying: mo, of
course, don't tell Joe everything, the way used
to. Men are so stupid they never understand,
so II is foolish to tell them and get into fuss"
DO they grow stupid after marrage?"
We'll, they may not, but they seem to. Why,
Joe nearly went wild the most innocent
letter that man sent me, and he happened to
find. I've told the maid again and again never to
bring my letters to the table, but to put them in
my bureau drawer. but she is SO careless One
often has letters she doesn't wish her husband to
see, bills and things of that sort"
Now, it is hard for me to imagine marriage a
success in which one party to the contract has
such a feeling that Marriage 1t seems to
me- is one of two things, either business con-
tract, or union founded upon sentiment and if
deceit enters into 1t party the other is not
living up to the agreement, however smoothly
things may seem to go. If 1t is a business con-
'cern, each partner has right to the confidence of
'the other, and SO long as sentiment enters into
1T there will be the interchange of interests
between married couples as between the engaged
The rule holds as good whether applied to man
TO woman.
Another of my friends loves her husband de-
yotedly she says She has no secrets from him
nor from anybody else-not even those she ought
ITO have, for perfect faith does not necessitate
telling man every foolish little thing nor pass
ing on to him something some girl friend has told
her When of an evening her husband puts on
his coat to go out this wife begins: why, Harry,
are you going out this evening? Where are you
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-06-26
FULLY NoURISHED
Grape-Nuts Perfectly Balanced
Food.

No chemists analysis of Grape-Nuts
can begin to show the real value of
the food-the practical value as shown
by personal experience.
1t is food that is perfectly bal
anced, supplies the needed elements
Of brain and nerves in all stages of
life from the infant, through the stren-
uous times of active middle life, and
is comfort and support in old age.
For two years l have used Grape
Nuts with milk and little cream, for
breakfast. l am comfortably hungry
for my dinner at noon.
II use little meat, plenty of vege-
tables and fruit in season, for the
noon meal, and If tired at tea time,
take Grape-Nuts alone and feel perfect
ly nourished.
Nerve and brain power, and men,
ory are much improved since using
Grape-Nuts. / am over sixty and weigh
155 lbs. My son and husband seeing
how have improved, are now using
Grape-Nuts.
my son, who is travelling man,
eats nothing for breakfast but Grape
Nuts and a glass of milk. An aunt.
over 70, seems fully nourished on
Grape-Nuts and cream" There's a
Reason"
/. Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek. Mich. Read "The Road to Well
yille." in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A now
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full OF human
Interest. es
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-06-26

from the girls dream, yet she never blames her
self for any part of the failure. STILL she could
speak before and her children with this lack
of courtesy to the man whom she had sworn be-
fore God to love and honor, she may not be wholly
free from fault. Should you, present lovers, call
the marriage in which such as this was COM
mon occurrence, success or failure?
In the course of my wanderings to and fro
have often spent time at house where
there never has been a meal finished without
some faultfnding by the master thereof. This
is not due to ll-cooked food, for the wife pre-
pares good dishes and that the cook does
likewise. If the chicken is broiled, why didn't
you fry this?" If it is fried, why wasn't 1t
broiled?" Or perhaps the complaint will be that
chicken was cooked at all when he wanted fish.
The vegetables were always over under done;
something that he wanted and had not spoken
about had not been prepared. Maybe it would be-
I've been trying since 1 was married to