The Detroit times., 1908-06-05
IN DETROIT
LIFE is WORTH LIVING.

Then. with startling inconsistency.
every member displayed a wide badge
OF mourning on his left sleeve.
The following Is a synopsis OF tho
burlesque:
Calls eX-Mayor Maybury to the chair.
Maybury accepts in short address.
Explains absence or other members
who are detained by evening drill in
the silence treatment by Secretary
Richie. Recounts achievements of his
late administration. notably the mil
lion dollar peristyle, adopted finally in
the form or ten-million dollar tun-
mel: and. more notable and glorious
than all, the adoption OF standard time.
the one thing above all others that
makes life worth living in our fair city:
Enlarges eloquently on the thought OF
uniform time.
Member arises showing monster pc
tition from Believers in Gods Good
that monster OF corporate greed and
perfidy. railroad or standard time.
Asks for vote by the board.
III have to ring for Ritchie," chair
man says lin order TO get some light
on this subject" lights go out, and
when turned on entire board is found
seated at table with Secretary Richie
casting the canned vote for sun time.
Chairman announces vote, and secre-
tary turns clock ahead % minutes. Tel
ephone call from mayor OF Boston. who
Later chairman discovers inquiry Is
How is the Whole Thing" Says he
Will let Richie answer for himself.
Richie then introduced for few OBJ
servations on how to regenerate city
without words; also for a farewell ex-
preston prior TO his quiet departure
for the Hub-bub.
Richie requires examination OF doors
and windows for eaves choppers.
Wants everything hushed. Chairman $
telephone rings. but he answers that II
is impossible to communicate at this
moment, can't say u word. as Richie
Is about 10 speak.
Speech by Richie. At conclusion tel
ephone rings and chairman says Free
Press reporter wrapped in fur overcoat
and with hot thermos bottles I'm every
pocket would like To interview Richie.
Richie talks with him over the phone.
Member arises in the crowd and in
sists upon return OF his 25 cents for
badge and membership. claiming he
has been defrauded. being compelled 10
pay $500 additional for membership
In board and s25. 90 for dues and still
another $500 for this trip. Left to a
canned vote while room is darkened
and Richie reports there IL nothing
coming back to disgruntled member.
Telephone inquiry for well known
citizen. He is not wanted His wife
just wants to make sure that he is on
board He gave her to understand he
time the bar closes
Prof. Griffith reports on Cleaning up
Day" and the Group Plan OF Municipal
Architecture" Walter brings in tray
with punch bowl and glasses his
rnaturcd conception OF group plan"
j. L. Hudson. member OF committee
OF 100 and prohibition candidate for
governor. objects to the acceptance OF
the Grffith group plan az practically
an endorsement or Indulgence, token
of incompetence and riotous living.
Prof Griffith then moves that Ii be
presented to Secretary Richie. The
punch bowl VIII not embarrass him. he
explains. as he has already resigned.
Richie accepts on the condition that
the names or the givers are blown into
the glass Telephone rings chairman
announces: Another ring from Annie
smith, He answers at once: "Receiv-
J. L. Hudson speaks on the trading
stamp iniquity. moving for the sup
preston OF the proposed United States
Daily.
Gets a telephone call announcing his
election 10 the vice presidency and di-
reCtorship Of the Society for the Re
uuction OF the Circumference OF Merry
Widow Hats"
Reception and opening OF a package
with the compliments OF Joe I.abadie
FOR the general uplift." Bomb rolls
down steps into crowd while lights go
out and base drummer biffs his drum
Member from moor. representing ma
jority OF taxpayers. makes fervId APP
sends up big petition. Canned vote Is
taken and Richie declares standard
time has carried Clock Is turn back
2s minutes. Chairman says: We are
having the time OF our life on this
trip"
Chairman expresses pleasure that the
saRacity OF his administration a. may
or has been indicated and confidently
predicts that there Will never again
arise a demand for a return 20 the
ancient. illogical and confusing sun
time which relegated Detroit TO the
rank Of backwoods town
Member arises I'm gallery and -four.
ishIng huge roll says he appears Tor
the Daylight club with n membership
OF 400 600. demanding adoption OF East
ern standard time. canned vote taken
astern standard declared adopted and
clock turned ahead one hour.
Chairman eNclaims. "Oh times oh
Moses"
Mr.. Bielman speaks on Transports
tion" and invcighs against newspapers
for refusing 10 run railway and steam
boat time-cards without pay and for
foisting special editions mon long suf-
fering advertisers. HeJ displays from
President I.edyard. OF the Michigan
Central. I'm response to the demands
os the transportation committee Coz
concessions. copy OF the latest folder
lie IL followed by the publisher OF
the Splash who rcEents the nllusion.
90 the press and he snecrs at the motto
and tears of his button Inscribed witt
the word living" The board takes