The Washington herald., 1908-01-26
MARIA'S MIDNIGHT LECTURES
LECTURE NO. "a.

game never could understand
don't want to learn any game In which
YOU have to ask permission 10 play
every time. A pretty thing I'd look.
job. sitting up IN front Of you and ask
ing you May ! play 70 diamonds,
please'-and ] don't remember that you
ever said please to me in your life.
Did you see where be gave Evelyn
Thaw once present Of eighty pounds
of beef-just think of it, with butchers
meat as high as it is. Isn't it a wonder
how extrayagant these millionsiTes
can be
1t seems. job. dear, that there isn't
much doing In politics these days. What
with Mr. Fairbanks chilling everybody
and Mr.. Hughes saying nothing. it's put
a damper on the game and the only
real live news is that MI Taft has made
the sugar interests Of Michigan solid
for himself I should think that cinches
It for the Secretary Of War. for I've
always heard that the man who had the
most sugar in a political campaign was
the one who won out. Well if he gets
it 7 suppose Mr.. Taft will make d pretty
solid President: ] wonder If hsl make
Senator Foraker one Of his Cabinet Off
GERS, / should think he'd make q fine
Secretary Of War. even If he does come
from Ohio. On the Democratic side
there seems 10 be nothing but Billy
Bryan. and he-the siIver-tongued orator
from the Plates worrying about a
dead issue whether the trusts or the
people shall rule thought thar was all
settled after David Graham Phillips
got through writing for the Decent
magazines.
Won't you be glad when Miss Wander
bnt is married to that count Of hers
with the impossible name? Every time
I try TO pronounce IT il seems as il L
had the grip again and was talking
through my nose. ] don't see why these
rich girls want 10 marry men with
titles. anyway. I'm awful glad 20 hear
that there's q man in Texas who in
troduced a bill to tax people with titles.
ThstH help TO stop people calling
names. like the Honorable Senator
Platt Of New York. or the Honorable
Chauncey Depew I wonder how long
after they're indicted the honorable
lasts?
Talking about new laws, see they've
put in d law to stop church lotteries.
Seems 10 me the churches have q hard
enough time 10 raise money En- any old
way without the law stepping in. You
simply can't stop lotteries in churches,
for the biggest lottery Of all IS mar
riage and ] wished they could have
stopped that-sometimes- IS, when
I think Of you staying out at night
and me waiting here for YOU. Lottery,
Why the woman who takes d chance
at il, in church or not. pretty nearly
always loses.
say. Job. I've changed my mind
about frazzled oats, and I've just got
TO have more money. I see that the food
experts have decided that. after all,
ham and eggs IS the best breakfast
food. and little Emily's looking so thin
I'm going to start her IN on them to-
morrow OF course, I know YOU can't
get fresh eggs; but little Emily doesn't
know what cold storage means, so II
won't really matter.
Isn't it terrible the way the laws
getting after women nowadays? ] see
where they put poor, lone female in
jail out in Vermont just for gossiping.
OF course, I never gossip; but I do
think that women have some inaHauable
rights that ought 10 be respected. and
when she gets through handling a
broom over her paTlor carpet. she ought
to be allowed 10 use the hammer If
she wants to. I was down ar the cat
show during the week. and I'll venture
TO say that mighty few of the women
I saw down there went 10 see the cats;
they were there TO talk about their
neighbOTs. and if the newspapers could
have got hold of all they said, there
wouldn't be q reputation left in town
the cats,
Did you read that interesting news in
the papers-the list of guests al the
White House reception? It was almost
as exciting as a novel ! bought ali the
papers in Washington. hoping that
they'd get my name printed in ore Of
them by mistake wanted 10 send the
paper home 10 mother-bUt the papers
are all too careful I wish you'd do
something, job, so that I could get in
vited Can't YOU go walking with the
President sometimes. II you were only
an actor now. it'd he all right. / see
he received a lot Of the plsyer-foIk last
week: OF course. we plain people haven't
any chance.
What's that, sleepy? For heavens
sake. Job, do stay awake a little while
till I tell you about the news. 7 want to
ask you about that walters strike at
Denver and 10 explain to me how # is
that in Norway they have a dag that is
two months long. just think Of working
only eight hours a day there Wouldn't
that be fine. And ! wanted YOU 10 tell
me why it is they coHfscated a lot of
whisky Just because it wasn't pure
Oh, there's such a lot Of things / want
to ask you, about the kissing germs and
the price of diamonds and the coins that
the President gave the King of Italy
he might much better have kept them
at home with all this money stringency
and about the fact that wooden legs
are getting cheaper, and a whole lot OF
things. But there you go, turning youl
back on me and snoring.
Ny, I wish I had "A husband who could
stay awake sometimes!