Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-05-14
Wit AND HUMoR
A Paper Given By Miss Flora Belle
Houston At A Recent High
School Program

School program
1t is q question in my mind Why l
should have been selected to write a pa
per. Can it be possible there is some
thing about me that would indicate the
authoress? Do the poise of my head or
the general contour of my figure reveal
the slumbering genus? Certainly no
former efforts of mine have immortal
lied me.
| feel so flattered at this early age to
be given the work of an L. l.. D., A.
B. or P. H. d. and expected to get 1t
without any help, that | sometimes
fancy my hands were not made for la
Dor. I was even asked to write rhyme.
If 1 could write poetry, do you think I
would plod along the dreary pathway
of the school girl? Do you suppose if
had the Heaven born gift of a poetess,
that | would be at home washing dish
es and trimming lamps, wearing one
solitary shirt-waist the entire year? No
Stree. would HE me away to Eu
rope, or Hamlin perhaps, and would
rite stuff that would take hold of the
i ,arts of millions, so that in the news
papers you could see in big head lines,
"A new and dazzling literary star has
risen above the horizon and is just a.
bout to shoot athwart the starry vault
of poetry.
But knowing that my qualifications
have been misjudged, with shaking
knees and heart which Topped the
into the bewildering difficulty of pot
what potpourri is. 1 will tell you. 1t
is Literary Hash. But of the digest
able sort guaranteed under the new
food law to be absolutely pure.
/ am reminded of the fact that our
High School Life is made of cups and
Downs, and one of the most powerful
forces is our report cards. At certain
intervals in the year we go home bur
dened with our sins. Weep, if we are
girls: grow angry if we are boys. We
bemoan such and such grade, and de.
eide that studies are n bore, and very
unpopular among the student body,
but necessary evil.
We have red letter days to break the
monotony. Thanksgiving and Christ
mas programs; and one day while
walking thru the halls I saw some
children with hatchets and cherries
made of paper. | inquired at the door
what was going on. The teacher seemed
confused and informed me it was Birth
ington's Wash-day.
Some of the pupils are very bright.
We will now have test in translating
Latin and other work for the benefit of
the visitors:
"Frank, what Is "easy' in Latinm
Answer: "Nothing, the whole
business is hard"
"Carrie-What three words do the
eleventh grade use most?"
Answer: II don't know"
Correct"
"Clyde, which travels fastest, heat or
cold?''
Answer: Cheat"
"NIabel, why?"
Answer: Because you can catch
cold easy"
"Clara, what is the meaning of elocu-
sion?"
Answer: "It's the way they put
people to death in some states"
One of our eleventh graders writes
poetry, but is not generally recognized
as poet. The other day he picked up
book belonging to him and read this
poem inscribed therein:
One stormy morn / Glanced to meet
A lassie in the town,
Her locks were like the ripened wheat
Her laughing eyes were brown.
/ watched her as she tripped along
Till madness filled my brain,
And then and then--I know twas
/ kissed her in the rain.
With raindrops shining on her cheek
Like dewdrops on rose,
The little lassie strove to speak,
h,1I 70
She strove in vain, and quivering,
Her fingers stole in mine,
And then the birds began to sing,
The sun began to shine.
O let, the clouds grow dark above,
My heart is light below;
TITS always summer when we love,
However winds may blow;
And Pm as proud as any prince,
All honours disclaim
She says am her Grain beau" since
| kissed her in the rain.-Chas. Idle
The night was growing old
AS she trudged thru snow and sleet
Her nose was long and cold,
And her shoes were full of feet.
james Huyck
One of our fellow students has great
aspirations and has written this petit
ton:
want to be magistrate
An oriental potentate
A Consequential, Influential, Orien
tai potentate.
I'd like to rule tropic isle,
Not very big say one square mile
Is there for me no Filipino. Small Ca
sino, Tropic Isle?
When Pm prince in the Levant
I'll ride he sacred elephant;
The white and creamy, slow and
dreamy, bright and gleamy elephant
...l.-s..> e...