La Junta tribune., 1908-06-13

A. R." and writes that the Man
About Town" has been misinformed
in the matter. He says. The
hall is used by the G. A. X. post once
a mo .th. ordinarily. and by the W.
X. c. twice month, but was not
designed for the exclusive use OF
these organizations. nor is its pres
ent use. confined to those bodies.
We stand corrected.
This is Walt Mason's opinion OF
Uncle Joe Cannon; He is the press
and the people. the sultan who rules
the Turks: he is the bell in the
steeple. and he is the whole blamed
works. He is the hill and the val
ley. the dawning. the dusk. the
noon; he is the large white alley. he
is the man in the moon. He is the
soothing slumber. he is the soul
awake: ne is the big cucumber that
gives us the bellyache. He is the
fire that quickens. the company that
insures: he is the i'll that sickens, and
he is the thing that cures. he Is
the ruling Russian, and we are the
groveIing skates: he is the constitu-
ton, and he's the United States.
Newman, little city in Illinois,
has. no saloons and consequently
booze ID a rather hard article to
get. A short time ago a stranger
arrived in town and began selling
cold tea in pint bottles. giving the
boys the wink as he was disposing
of the same at one dollar per. Busi-
ness was rushing for some time
until some Of the purchasers sneak
ed around the corner to take a
drink and to their surprise discov-
cred that they had paid dollar for
pint Of actual cold tea. A strong
holler was put up but nothing could
be done as the supposed bootlegger
had complied with the pure food
law.
A very stout lady. bustling
through our new city park on =
sweltering hot day. became aware
that she was being followed by a
rough-looking tramp. What do
you mean by following me in ,his
manner?" she Indignantly demand
ed. The tramp skunk back little.
When the stout lady resumed her
walk he again took up his position
directly behind her. See here,
she exclaimed. wheeling angrily,
.'if you don't go away at once shall
call our city marshal. The unfortu-
nate man looked up at her appeal
ingly. For Heavens sake. kind
lady. have mercy, an don't call
Gloomy Gus: ye're the only shady
spot in the whole park.
1t was beaut of night. such as
we have been having of late. and
the poobah Of the school board wan
dered abroad seeking whom he
might rubberneck. His wife is
away, having gone on a long journey
to q far distant county for an in
definite period. and he was enjoying
quiet siesta. near the midnight
hour. on one of the benches in the
court house park. 1t was one Of
the kind of nights that you read
about in song and story-when the
cold round moon shines deeply
down; blue rolled the smoke from
the poobah's bum cigar. and blue
the sky. spread like an ocean hung
on high, bespangled with those isles
of light. so wildly. spiritually
bright VINO ever gazed upon them
shining and turned to earth without
repining Except the poobah. whose
business upon earth necessitates his
being with us until Gabriel sounds
his last trump nor longed for wings
to fly away and mix with their
eternal ray-but we are DEPRESSING.
trying to make bum prose out Of
one Of Byron's most sublime poet
ical flights. The poobah was suffer
ing from the lonesomeness incident
to great crowds. People passed and
repassed. homeward bound or on
pleasure bent. and yet the poobah.
in pensive ouietness. mused and