The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-08-22
GOoDBY, BLONDES !

Despite the use of peroxide an6
face lotions, the blondes are passing
They are getting scarcer every day
and they will disappear entirely in six
centuries, according to the melancholy
prediction of science. There will be
no more fair compilations to light up
the Rialto, no more golden locks tc
give contrast in the spangled ranks
of the chorus. The world will be a
wilderness of brunette beauty, ranging
between the shades of coffee and btu
minous coal. Lovers will sigh and
dream of the golden past, unless they
are quite blinded by their passion.
Artists will resign themselves to stud
les in black and white. A blond per-
son who appears in the street will
probably be arrested for drawing
crowd. Even red whiskers will be
an extreme rarity, only exhibited il
dime museums, and the juxtaposition
of white horses and redsheaded girls
will be miracle.
1t is a frightful prospect. as sketch
ed by Frederick Boyle In The Conten-
bOyayy Revlew, and one that is alle-
waited only by its comparative remote
ness. Humanity may be able to think
up some means of staving off its bru-
nette doom within the next six hun
dred years. It might decide to wear
wigs or spend part of each season at
the North Pole. The congresses and
parliaments of the world might offer a
reward for the discovery of hair
dye that won't run and face cream
that won't taste like oleomargarine.
Six centuries do give us little breath
ing time to take steps against the de-
scent of darkness.
The fair complexioned folk, it
seems, are not fitted to survive in
these modern days of quick luncheons
and subway travel. They were all
right to conquer and colonize the
world when that was healthy out
door exercise, but they can't CON-
pete with the brunetes now in the
hustle and close quarters of great
cities. The whole Aryan race is pro-
baby on the downhill. This race in
cludes the Hindus, Anglo-Saxons,
Afghans, Germans, Greeks, Persians,
Irish, French and other tribes, who
generally despise one another and call
the other kind "dagoes." The whole
lot of them are losing their blue eyes,
pale checks and light hair, as if the
evolutionary makeup man were pre-
pairing them for a minstrel show.
The process did not begin yesterday,
but it has no doubt been accelerated
with the speedy development of mod
ern conditions. The blondes were
great fighters and migrators. The
Homeric heroes had mostly golden
locks and the Athenians were proba-
bly, fair and blue-eyed, like the early
Venetians and the so-called Moors
who conquered Spain.
ps1siESs sStFzTy s-SSx
with fair compilations has proved
itself Superior in colonizing enter
prises, resisting the evil influences of
climate and new environment gener-
ally. The West Coast of Africa is
not so fatal to the red-haired white
men as to brunette types, and the
same fact is said to be noted in the
Far East and tropical America. At
home and in the cities the brunettes
forge to the front. Statistics dealing
with recruits in the Civil War taken
from the government records at
Washington are interpreted to prove
that "the brunette type, as a whole,
offers greater resistance to disease. :"
If city life is unsuited to the fair COM
plexioned it is obvious that the in
creasing trend of population from
country to town will lead to the dis
appearance of the weaker type and in
a calculable period of time. Two
London physicians, DR.. Shrubsall and
DIR. Jones, have made observations
from a thousand cases of children in
hospitals, and both series of figures
"show a marked predominence not
only of blonde traits but also of the
pure blonde type, indicating a great
er amount of disease" The bad air
and the foul stenches of the slums,
perhaps the moral filth also, are too
much for the fair compilations. The
brunettes are fittest to survive under
this unnatural state of things. -Nea0
X1k Tribune.