The Washington herald., 1908-01-28

ell, or Boston. To old FOUNDERS aUrlgnted
al the onward march OF prohibition. Prof.
Lowell must appear as a beautiful star
amid a wilderness Of gloom.
An eccentric American directs in his
will that HIS body be converted into violin
strings, SulI, fiat dWellers will agree
that it might be worse, Suppose he had
directed that IT, be converted into cor
nets?
business and burglars are picking up"
says the DeseFet News. Well, a burglar S
business is picking up isn't it?
Are women as happy as their grand
mothers?' asks Mg John "A. Logan.
Very few would care to swap places
with them. we imagine
"One NTH Of the entire money in the
world belongs 10 the United States" says
a promising member OF the Herald fam
ily in Grant County, Mich. II is pos
sible these figures NAV have 10 be re-
vised when Congress gets through with
its present session.
Brazil celebrated the coming Of the
fleet by signing the reciprocity Law" says
the Beaumont (Tcx) Enterprise. This
however. was not the thing 10 bring about
which the fleet was sent there.
People who vainly imagine a drug store
10 be an oasis in Georgia evidently have
another think coming. The Cracker
courts have even stopped The sale OF
extract Of Jamaica ginger therein.
ru
Lawson was hanging on the public neck
and weeping; now he wants TO step on it.
Anyhow, we like Count shuvvelovitski
better since he "biffed' that pestiferous
camera hend.
When Teddy takes the stump for
Tart" begins the Chattanooga Star But
1t isn't the stump; it's the Big Stick,
Only the Iynx-eyed sergeant-at-arms Of
the Photographers Union stands between
US and an assault with intent TO murder
the peach crop.
How can we be for a man who is not
for himself7' asks q New York con
temporary. Well We don't know but
that it would be quite a relief TO be for
such man; most 0ffice-seekers are for
themselves-sir richly.
Cupid is a wise little chap. He leads
the couple 10 the altar. then quits the
game. says the Chicago News. Rather
a clever picture Of Cupid wise and other
wise.
If we have tears to shed. prepare to shed
them now. Mr. Onion is a candidate for
the Senate in Texas
'Mr. Kusterman, Of New York, has as
certained that it costs the country $50 a
minute to run Congress" says the Hous-
ton Post Mr.. Kusterman is from Wis
consin. And Congress doesn't run. any
howi it creeps.
when is Senator William James Bryan
going to make noise like new member
whose lungs are hurting him for want Of
exercise?' inquiries the Rochester Herald.
Really. he doesn't seem to be that kind
at all; when he does say his say. the
chances are it VIII be we'll worth listen
ing to.
You quit smoking on New Years Day.
didn't YOU? If you haven't fallen from
grace. you are Sil.S0 ahead Of the game,
aren't you? Well, where is II?
The Virginia statesman who is under
taking to write the ''unwritten law is
having considerable difficulty classifying
and differentiating the different phases of
his subject.
Mr.. Hughes may belong to the Barkis
brigade but he doesn't affiliate with the
"baTkers' TO hurt.
THE best way to manage a woman Is
not to try il" says the Atlanta Georgian.
AS matter Of fact. isn't it the only way?
An Alabama mob lynched a negro. fired
a volley of pistol shots at him. and dis
persed: whereupon the negro climbed
down and walked away. Are Alabama
lynehers mollycoddles?
Senator Tillman says Mr.. John D. Rock
efeller is the greatest optimist" he ever
met. Mir. Tillman is able to understand
Mr.. RoCkefeller's point OF view more
clearly. now that Dame Fortune. via the
Chautauqua circuits. has smiled Tillman-
ward to the tune of some $4,000.
The successor of Theodore Roosevelt
will be good Republican, says the Bal
timore American. Not dead one we
hope
Since Miss Gladys has been and gone
and done It, regardless, here's a long
life, and a happy one.
1T would probably have been much bet
ter for the universe if many of us had
never been born.' says the Wilmington
On. c. Star. Hold up Not "of u.s." "of
them.
Needs an Expert Hapd.
From the Atlanta Journal
Roosevelt is an expert at handling
Hughes and cries,