The Delta independent., 1908-05-08

ScareJ ana peftufDeu look, ana - soon
as he reached the corner he ell cred
saloon and tossed or II glass of beer
and said to the bartender:
Il don't know whether you have got
on to 1t or not. but | can tell you that
old Bowser down the street is off his
base and will be in lunatic asylum
in less than MONTH"
Mr.. Bowser moved bureau. Mrs.
Bowser expected him to jump at it and
jam and ram and push and batter and
have it on its back within a minute.
but he guided it along as tenderly as
If it had been walking baby. Tears
of gratitude were about to spring to
her eyes when there was another call
err He had invented an air com
pressor that must revolutionize the
mechanics Of the world. 1t was just
the size of pound box Of peanut brit
tie, and yet it would propel an ocean
steamship at the rate of thirty miles
an hour. No more coal: no more en-
gineers and firemen and stokers. Set
the compressor going on leaving New
York and stop it at Liverpool or Lon
don. Required no more attention than
an old maid. Couldn't possibly get out
of order and could be made for 81
apiece and sell for 100000.
"Sorry-very sorry" replied Mr.. Bow
ser as soon as he could cut in. Il be-
lieve the druggist on the corner is in
terested in such things. but am not"
what! You don't want to make
tens of millions of dollars?"
Not today. thankee."
"But l haven't got into the wrong
house"
"Oh. no. am Mr.. Bowser.'
And you buy Leghorn chickens.
Devonshire pigs and all sorts of fire
escapes and patent snow removers. and
yet you won't go into thls?"
"Please shut the gate as you so out"
The man pleased. He shut the gate
with a bang, and halfway to the cor
ner he stopped pedestrian to say:
81 shouldn't care to come along here
in the night. I'll bet that half the
holdups around here are the work Of
that old Bowser."
Mrs. Bowser wanted to say some
thing She wanted to cry. She wanted
to put her arms around Mr.. Bowser's
neck and tell him what a good man he
was. but he was moving the bedstead.
and she had 10 put it off. He didn't
walk up to those bedsteads and yank
the mattresses off and give the springs
a fling. He denuded and disrobed them
with gentleness. He didn't seize bed
stead by one post and yank and heave
and pull and lay the whole thing fat
on the floor in brass and iron ruin.
He Was So Gentlel
Gently. tenderly. quietly. he took out
the side pieces in the regular way and
carried the head and foot pieces to the
new spot and set them up again
not a mar nor n scratch, not
| whoop nor cuss word. AS the show
bills have 1t, there was nothing
throughout the whole performance to
offend the most fastidious. He had just
| finished when another caller arrived.
and he had to go downstairs. 1t was n
man with patent device to prevent
railroad accidcnts-that Is. 1t was des
| tined TO prevent conductors and engi-
neers from overrunning their time and
bringing about head and rear end col
lisions. 1t was No. II cowhide boot
fastened on TO a lever to be worked by
steam from the engine. Every two
minutes it gave conductor and engi
neer kick and called their direct at
tention to a card on which was in
scribed, "LcOk Out For the Dog!'
| The railroad kicker" as the invent
or had named 1t. was the greatest thing
ever invented. Railroads all over the
country were crying for it. The public
were demanding Its use. 1t could save
10000 human lives and $4,000, 600
worth of property n year. 1t wouid
render travel on the railroads as safe
as on the sidewalks. 1t would
But Mr.. Bowser stopped him there
by saying that he wasn't investing and
| by advising him to go to the coal man
down the street Five more men called
during the day and seven during the
evening. The last to call was ward
heeler. and he rendered Mr.. Bowser
the nomination for the presidency in
exchange for a five dollar bill and the
appointment of minister to st. James
He followed the others outdoors and
up the street and into the land OF
blighted hopes, and then Mrs. Bowser
broke down and wept I'm her gratitude
and anxiety and the house was closed
| for tho night NJ QUAD