davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
IT1PSY CHIAAMAN
: FOUND UP 4 TREE
HARLEM ORIENTAL SURPRISES A
9ATRoLMAN BY FALLING
ON HIM.
OFFICER HEARS ODD SOUNDS
Gees TO Investigate and Is Greeted
with Shower of Ladies' Wearing
Apparel Followed by Gin
Filled "Gin."

New Yorll.-Of course any expe-
rienced playwright knows that the
climax really comes in the third act,
when Chin Kung Gig sits down on a
hct heater in the Harlem police court
and arises therefrom substantially at
once and emits several loud, sirged
shrieks. but to begin at the beginning
it should be stated that at six o'clock
the other morning Policeman Lycur-
Sus Hemmer was walking north on
Broadway. near One Hundred and
Ninety-fifth street.
There are trees in this portion Of
cur great city, and from a close
bOughed cedar standing on vacant
Let Policeman Hemmer heard sounds
emerging. The sounds were something
like dollar watch being wound up
Ind something like the finish of a
six-day hiccoughing contest and some
thing like throwing an apple core in
the monkey cage.
So naturally Policeman Hemmer
went over there and stood directly
under the cedar trees and looked up.
One of those felt slippers that turns
up at the toe like a runner on bob
sled hit him in the mouth.
Brushing the slipper out of his face
with careless gesture, Hemmer
looked up into the tree again The
mate of the slipper was in the act
OF descending from an upper bough,
accompanied by ladies' sweater, red,
with large pearl buttons and a. roll
collar, a pair of long black tights, and
uncoiled queue, an advance block
straw hat and small chrome-yellow
Chinaman. The Chinaman was wear
ing all of these things except the Sec
ond slipper.
They all hit on Hemmer's chest in
such manner that he accompanied
them south to Manhattan island,
where he seated himself in a recum-
bent posture and recovered his breath.
1t was the Chinaman who opened
the conversation. He spoke as fol-
lows:
Gin
Il knew that already" said Hem.
ner, and not only gin, but if I'm any
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
FROM PENNSYLVANIA.

The following telegram concerning
the Pennsylvania Democratic pri-
maries explains itself:
Johnstown, Pa, April Is, 1908.
The Commoner, Lincoln, Neb.
Fifty-one of the 64 district dele
gates to national convention chosen by
popular vote at the uniform primaries
are for Bryan.
The Bryan Democratic league can
didates in James NJ Guffey's district
were successful.
Outside Philadelphia. nearly every
Bryan Democratic league candidate
won at the polls and even there our
candidates were defeated only by Re
publican help for the Donnelly Ryan
organization candidates. The latter,
however, are all pledged to Bryan,
but will follow the Guffey lead.
The delegates to the state conven
tion are almost all Bryan men. Bry-
ans friends will control convention
will write platform, select delegates
at-large and instruct them for Bryan
Reports spread broadcast from re
dictionary sources to the effect that
Pennsylvania will go to Denver unin
structed are absolutely false.
WARREN WORTH BAILEY,
Secretary Bryan Democratic League
OF Pennsylvania - -,
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
FROM THE
IoWA's JOKE.
MIR. BRYAN'S PAPER

1t must have been a practical joker
who wrote the platform recently
adopted by the Republicans in Iowa.
The platform says: I'VE declare I'M
equivocally for protection as the
cardinal principle of the Republican
party and we affirm our unalterable
purpose to maintain it," This is the
Introduction, not very encouraging to
a tariff reformer but behold what
follows: Events have confirmed the
wisdom of the makers of the national
platform of 1904 wherein the party
pledged readjustment of rates of duty
only when conditions 50 changed that
the public interest demanded their al
te7ation In accordance with this
declaration of four years ago, the Re
publican party of Iowa indorses the
declaration of the Ohio Republican
platform of this year in behalf Of re-
vision OF the tariff by a special ses-
sion of next congress, etc"
What sarcasm there is in pointing
to the promise made in the platform of
1904, which has not been kept, as a
basis for a new promise which the
party has no intention of keeping. Or
possibly the Iowa joker intended to
put the emphasis upon the word only.
II so. the platform was not promise
to readjust the tariff when conditions
changed, but merely a promise that
there would be no reduction before
that time. The platform does not say
that the time has arrived for reduc-
tion or that there will be any reduc-
ton. Referring to its promise that
there shall be no readjustment until
conditions change, 1t indorses a re-
vision Of the tariff maintaining the
principle of protection, etc. Now
Secretary Taft tells us that revision
means the raising of some schedules
and the lowering of others, without
telling us what schedules are to be
raised and what lowered.
II the Republicans who favor tariff
reform can be deceived by the jug
Cling that is going on in the writing
of platforms, they are not as wide
awake as they have given us reason
to believe.
II the Republican leaders in Iowa
had been entirely frank they would
have said: I'VE point to the fact that
the promise of four years ago is still
Onfulfilled, and we make another
promise just like it. We have no more
thought OF keeping it than we had
then. We fooled the public before
and we expect to do so again.
If the people want tariff reform
they must get it from the Democratic
party.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
SPEAKING OF STUMBLING BLOCKS

The Richmond CVa) Tfmes-Dis-
patch concludes an editorial relating
to the "anti-Bryan movement" in these
words: "If ever there was a conven-
ton where the power of the unin-
structed delegate will be great, not
only in the choice of the candidate,
but in writing the platform, it will be
at Denver. The appreciation of this
fact is the stumbling block in the way
of those who want no deliberation by
the representatives of the people in
convention assembled"
But the appreciation of the fact
that certain special interests are seek
ing undue power through uninstructed
delegates may suggest to the rank. and
file of the party the importance of
making their instructions to their rep
resentatives at Denver somewhat ex.
plicit.
An expression of the desire of the
rank and file, through instructions to
delegates, may prove to be the stumb
ling block In the way of those who
would make the national convention
the master, rather than the servant OF
the party and who would make fhe
party the plaything of predatory inter
ests rather than the champion of tn.
] public welfare.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
80 BUSHELS OF OABs !
TO THE ACRE.
WHAT MR. kALTENRRuNNER HAa
TO SAY ABOUT, HIS GRAIN
CROPS In CENTRAL
CANADA.

Writing from Regina, Saskatche
wan. Central Canada, Mr.. a. Kalten-
Drummer writes:-a = : .sss-
Some years ago / took up q home
stead for myself, and also one for my
SON. The half section which we own.
ad1oins the Moose Jaw Creek; is .
low, level and heavy land. We put
in 10 acres Of wheat in stubble which
went 30 bushels to the acre, and 80
acres of summer fallow. which went
IS bushels to the acre. All the wheat
we harvested this year is No. Hard.
That means the best wheat that can
be raised on the earth. We did not
sell any wheat yet, as we intend to
keep one part for our own seed, and
sell the other part to people who want
first class seed, for there is no doubt
If you sow good wheat you will har-
vest good wheat We also threshed
5000 bushels of first class oats out of
160 acres. so acres has been fall
plowing, which yielded 80 bushels
per acre, and so acres stubble, which
went 80 bushels to the acre. These
cats are the best kind that can be
raised. We have shipped three car
loads OF them. and got So cents per
bushei clear All our grain was cut
In the last week of the month Of
August before any frost could touch It.
Notwithstanding the fact that we
| have had a late spring, and that the
weather conditions this year were
very adverse and unfavorable. we will
| make more money out of our crop
this year than last
| For myself feel compelled to say
| that Western Canada crops cannot bs
| checked, even by unusual conditions"
Information regarding free home.
stead lands in Manitoba, Saskatche-
wan and Alberta may be had on appli.
cation to any Canadian Government
Agent. whose advertisement appears
elsewhere. He will give you informa-
| ton as to best route and what it will
| cost you to reach these lands for pur-
poses of inspection.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
Exercise Is Necessary.

The body which is not exercised gets
fabby and weak and degenerates in
any number Of bad ways. Double and
triple chins, horribly misshapen busts
and abdomens, fat chests, lank waists
and other unlovely features of many
unfortunate women's frames are the
creatures of no exercise. Exercise rids
the body OF many shortcomings which
might be retained as deformities for
ever. The oyerplump, the overslinn,
and the beautifully proportioned-in
fact, every woman-need it If face OF
figure are to develop or preserve
beauty.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13

of character would be e,controlle0.
when in the full power ofAthe presi-
dency, by any outside personality"
In its issue of March 9, the Wash
ington Herald printed an interview
with Gen. Kiefer, member Of con-
gress, in which he said that he was
fer Taft and did not believe that IL
elected he would too closely follow
Roosevelt's ideas" 1t will be remem-
bered that these reports greatly dis
turbed Mr.. Taft and his managers and
they took pains to say that the cir
cular from the Taft headquarters had
been issued by a subordinate at the
Columbus Office.
Now the Omaha Bee, perhaps the
ablest and most faithful of Mr.. Taft's
western organs, quotes from the New
York Commercial-Advertis this
paragraph:
"As to the me too charge it be-
came dead and showed not even me-
chanicaI life when it appeared that
with respect to the Roosevelt policies
Gov. Hughes, Senator Knox, Speaker
Cannon, Vice-President Fairbanks and
the others were quite as much for
them as Secretary Taft"
Mr.. Roosevelt must be gratiied, in
deed, to learn that his preferred can
didate for the Republican nomination
is as enthusiastically in favor of the
Roosevelt policies as Messrs. Knox,
Cannon and Fairbanks are. With this
assurance that promised hunting trip
to Alaska need not be delayed long
after March 4, 1909. The country
and the Roosevelt policies-are GER
tainly safe.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
WHENCE THE MONEY!

The powerful interests which are
now attempting to control both ma
tional conventions do not ask for in
structions, for instructions imply that
the voters are in control. All that
predatory wealth asks is that the dele
cations shall be turned over to few
bosses to be used as circumstances re-
quire. These men who are so ready
to put up money to control conven-
tions, but who would not subscribe
dollar to elect real Democrat to Office,
are not concerned as to the candidate,
provided he will accept their aid and
put himself under obligation to them.
A number of Democrats have been ap-
preached and offered this support, but
nearly all have refused, knowing that
no man, however good his past record,
can stand any chance of winning If he
is handicapped by the support of the
men who have made government
an asset in their business and
who seek to control legislation for
their own pecuniary advantages. There
was a time when the voters could be
fooled, but they have learned by a sad
experience and know that a candidate
can be judged by the company he
keeps. Whence the money is a ques-
tion which is being asked with increas-
ing emphasis, and the answer to it is
a death blow to everyone in whose in
terest the money is contributed.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
He Didn't Care.

IT Hike simplicity" said Senator
Beveridge to a Washington reporter.
Simplicity saves Us a lot Of trouble.
too. Two men met in front Of hotel
one day and fell into political argu-
ment- They were ordinary, everyday
sort of men, but one Of them had an
extraordinary flow of polysyllabic Ian
guage. He talked half an hour. and
his companion listened in doze.
"'An' now, the speaker pompously
concluded. perhaps you will coincide
with me-?
The others face frightened up.
why, yes. thanks. old man. he de-
clared heartily, moving toward the
barroom door, I don't care II do
Home Magazine.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
TO REDUCE THE WEIGHT.
Systematic Exercise and Diet the Two
Main Requisites.

If you want to ge the fiat front fig
ure you must learn how and when to
exercise. 1t is useless to take eXer-
else at night when you are tired, and
just as useless to exercise before
meal
English women are slim because
they keep their homes cool. Women
who fill their rooms with fresh air
are simmer, as rule, than those who
sit in an overheated atmosphere. The
lungs do better work under the cir
cumstances.
In India the stout person takes the
mind cure as well as the physical cure
She says to herself: IT am not hun.
cry" After she has repeated this she
takes walk and engages in some
thing to occupy her mind. So she
lets meal slip by.
In Denmark when Lady gets too
stout she is urged to get out upon
the hills and tend the sheep. She has
fresh milk to drink and she also eats
fruit and herbs, but no fish nor flesh
nor fowl. She lives In the open and
she loses weight
The so-called Colorado treatment
consists in sleeping out Of doors in q
sleeping parlor buift with sides Of
Japanese mating to keep the wind
from blowing upon you. Only two
| pieces of bedding are required. There
must be a German feather bed to
place upon the floor Of the sleeping
parlor and another feather bed to be
drawn over the sleeper.-Exchange.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
JUST LIKE 4uNcLE JOE" EFT AL

During the month of March the
Taft press bureau, located at Colum-
bus, o.. sent out, according to the
Washington Herald, printed slips
bearing these headlines: Business
Hope Lies on Taft" Assert Taft Is
Best Candidate" big Wall Street
House Calls on Financial interests
to Assist In Nomination" Following
are extracts from the Taft circular:
'Mr. Taft's long record is distinctly
against any conclusion that he would
continue Mr.. Roosevelt's methods. He
has displayed brains, ability, good
Judgment, and, above all, sanity, in
the great and successful accomplish
ments Of his career. We must not lose
sight of the fact that there is TEN
peramental difference in the two men
Roosevelt and Taft. BY nature anC
by training, as a lawyer and as
Judge, Mr.. Taft has always manifested
q thoughtful attitude In his judgment
and a great deliberation. and con
servatism in his actions. Neither 4
A. conceivable that q man Of his fore,
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
crenadine AGAIN the Fashion.

Grenadine after years and years ,f
absence has returned. 1t is tie
greatest novelty of the season and is
treated like the shantungs, twills and
satins with Powered borders-made to
resemble insertions bordered on each
side with garlands of flowers. Others
with borders OF satin and large dots.
others, again. striped. The flower de
signs are evidently taken from do
signs for silks In fashion In the early
SOS Of the last century. and soma
too. from the Louis XIV. epoch.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13


s
of applique
miss Is the skirt requires ~ of material 20
inches wide &c inches AZ
ors yard inches
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
SECRETARY TAFT HEDGES.

Secretary Taft has already COM
menced to hedge on the tariff ques-
ton. In a recent speech he declared
that the Dingley bill had brought
great prosperity, but that changed
conditions require a modification of
schedules. He then proceeded to de-
fine tariff revision by saying that
some of the schedules should be raised
and others lowered. and concluded
ciple. What chance is there of any
real tariff reduction at the hands of
man who attributes the prosperity
which the country has had to the Ding
ley tariff. No credit is given to good
crops and no credit to an increased
volume of currency. but all to a tariff
law which places an exorbitant tax
on S0,000,000 Of reople that a COM
paratively few may sell manufactured
goods at high prices and build up
large fortunes. And now to be told
that some of the schedules ought to
be raised and others lowered-what
hope of relief does this give? 1t is
bad enough to be told that the Repub-
licans will not give any relief now
when they have the power to do so,
but to be told that the relief to be
given by and by is to be reduced to a
minimum by the raising of some OF
the schedules is even worse. And YET
this is the only kind Of tariff reform
to be expected from those who spend
more time expatiating upon the beau
ties of the protective principle thar
they do upon the injustice wrought b!
the application of that principle.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
ExTREE. ExTREEi

Si-Pop. the old red caow hes
kicked the bucket,
Hi-Je-rushlem, wouldn't TUX $40
fer thet caow! Did she pass away in
peace?
Si-She passed away in pieces, yep!
The old fule kicked thet bucket O. stun
yeou go tew blow up stumps with!
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13

The congressional majority has
adopted some rules enabling it to con-
tinue its policy of doing nothing in the
interests of the people.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
II cures While You walk.

Aliens Foot-Ease is a certain cure fcs
hot, sweating, callous, and swollen. aching
accept any substitute. Trial package FREE
Address Allen s. Olmsted, Le Roy. N. T.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13

Mexican newspapers need not worry,
Uncle Sam never steals territory. He
merely let's Providence toss it into his
lap.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13

II You wish beautiful, clear, white clothes
use Red Cross Ball Blue. Large O.
package, cents.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13

Secretary Taft says our government
of the Philippines is purely altruistic
And now they are using that fine old
word to cover up schemes.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13

The best teacher of duties that stil1
lie dim to US is the practice OF those
we see and have at hand--GeiHe.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13

Up to date Republican congress
has failed to enact into law any impor.
tant recommendation made by a Re.
publican president.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13

Life More Than Treadmlll.
Life ought not to be a treAdmil
and when it appears to be such thers
u something wrong.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
GARFIELD
Digestive Tablets.

From your druggist, or the Garfield
Tea Co.. Brooklyn, N. Y. 25c per bottle
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13

The first step in tariff revision is
to revise congress.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13

When jealousy gets busy lore takss
. vacation.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13
Perfect Trust.

Browning: In some time, His good
time shall arrive.
Barbour County index., 1908-05-13

The following telegram concerning
the Pennsylvania Democratic pri-
maries explains itself:
The Detroit times., 1908-05-12
Detective Favor, First
Man Caught in the
Dragnet, Held for Trial

& While Justice Jeffries was issuing
warrants against Police Commissioner
Smith. Capt. Newberry and Frank
Hibbler. Tuesday morning, Justice
Stein was examining Precinct Detee-
tive Edward r. Favor, the first vic
aim OF the inquisition, in court room
No. 2. on charge of obstructing jus
tice by accepting bookcase from
Annie Smith. Only two witnesses
were examined, Annie Smith and Ira
|0tone, an employe of Woodward.ave.
0rm. and Justice Stein, on their testi-
xnoEy. held Favor for trial In the re-
|cofder's court. Bail was fixed at ST.
100, which was Immediately furnished
~ School Inspector Joseph p. Shiv-
;UyS.
>~rAnnie Smith made an excellent wit
ness, and efforts on the part OF Fav-
Qr's attorneys. James p Murtha and
Lugene l.. Mistersky, to rattle her,
&Droved unavailing. On direct exam
|nation her testimony was confined
tholly to the book case incident. but
"a cross examination the INJURY took
wider scope and developed some
Vets that the prosecution had not
|onsidered 1t necessary to bring out at
his time. When asked why she did
u complain to Capt. Newberry
xhen Favor was bleeding" her as she
Manned. she said:
The Detroit times., 1908-05-12
Around the State
in a Hurry

Jackson-Frank Small a "loop-the-
gap" artist, broke his, right arm ana
three ribs while practlcing his act at
1 his home In this city.
Z Dimondale Daniel Roe took his
/ life with strychnine. He left a note
saying that he did not blame his wife
Tor anything. but was respondent.
! The couple have no children.
/ Muskegon-Isaac l.. Burgess, OF
Reading, Pa, reached Muskegon
Monday 10 visit his brother. Senator
NJ. Burgess. whom he haa not seen for
many years. on reaching Fruitport
he found his brother had died two
weeks ago
Battle Creek-Rather than take the
money that might come from its rem
tai, Mrs Joseph b. Blunt has torn
down and removed the cottage in
which her parents. Mr. and Mrs
Homer s Jones. were murdered by
her husband.
Boyne City-The proposition to
bond the city for $4,000 for much
needed sewer and street improve
ments was carried at special cleo
ton by a good majority. The board
the policy of the new council.
Administrative c. Dayton. pres
ident of the City National bank. Is
seriously i'll ar his home. and his phy-
siciaEs say he cannot live. News OF
his illness was a surprise 10 even the
bank officials. Mr.. Dayton. has been
victim OF heart disease for several
years.
Port Huron-Wm. L. Wilson, ex-
treasurer Of the Home Protectors
fraternity, charged with embezzle-
ment, cut the hair OF Joseph Moskoe.
an Indian. al the jail. yesterday. Lat.
e.. Joe Sam. Chinaman. cut VIII
sons hair Wilson seemed greatly to
appreciate the humor OF the situation
Traverse City-A few months ago
d.. l.. +. Sipher and his wife were
sent 10 the Northern Michigan asylum,
being adjudged incurably insane. Sun.
day night DR. Babcock, who took
DR. Sipher's practice. was also adj
judged insane and sent 10 the same
asylum. 1t Is believed that the ,roub-
lie is OILY temporary.
Manton-The dam supporting Lake
Billings went out yesterday, releasing
about % acres OF water The tor
rent swept down on the Manton cleo
ric lighting plant and flooded it. car
ried away the bridge spanning Mich.
igan.st., flooded McAfee's stave and
heading mill. carrying away $1,000
worth OF slaves. and now threatens
the Phelps & Rauer's grist mill
Acknowledged In a gunny sack
on Ton of a building in the down town
section OF the city. the leg and arm
of a woman wefe discovered by TWO
Ia 5orers Rumors coming in OF the
discovery OF other parts OF a human
anatome found In barn in the out
skirts OF the city have excited the
police. DR. 4. b. Halves claimed the
portions OF the body as part Of a
cadaver belonging 10 him.
The Detroit times., 1908-05-12
BY III. II. MACK.

The demand for feeder cattle is
reviving with the coming OF grass.
taking many cattle that hitherto have
been bought by the butchers. Mich
cows are scarce and high. not enough
coming TO hand 10 nearly supply the
demand. The spring run of YEA!
calves has been large but there are
ample evidences that the stock is
about all In and higher prices are
looked for during the next 30 days.
Sheep and lambs are not coming
freely to the Detroit market and the
few that come TO hand are taken
promptly at outside quotations, The
low price at which wool is selling is
acting as a damper on the trade in
the interior. A few spring lambs
were received in the Detroit market
last week, setting for $40 per cwt. The
lambs that have come to hand locally
are extremely poor In quality or the
price range would be much higher.
The Detroit times., 1908-05-12
GRAIN AND PROVISIONS.

DETROIT, May i-.-Ciose:s Whtat
was very weak during the greater pa "a
OF Tuesday. but recovered some at one
time because OF covering OF shorts. Toe
fine weather had much TO do win tue
weakness and there was no attempt
to squeeze the shorts In the May OPP
ton The hears are said TO be AFRAID
OF crop killers just now. otherwise they
might sell more freely owtns 70 tie
mand was GOOD and there was heavy
decrease IN the worlds visible supply.
Wheat ouotations-Cash No. req.
81. May opened wit IA decline OF ic at
Sll dropped 10 9yc. and advanced 10 VI.