Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-10-03

The day on which my lady was TO
begin her yachting trip dawned auspi-
ciously. She had looked into her heart.
She had felt the stir and futter of love
and romance She had heard that one
lady had said that she was old enough
to be the counts grandmother.
She looked into her glass and indig-
nantly repudiated the SANDER. Not
gray hair in her head; not wrinkle on
her face: not a wabble to her knees as
she stood there and felt how good 1t
was to be young again. Even her
worst enemy must have been forced
to admit that day the complexion just
finished by Perkins was a three-A
brand and that the movements of the
old dame around the room had all the
litheness Of girlhood.
After the midday lunch she became
petulant and nervous and finally drove
Perkins away to sit by herself. She
thus secured an interval in which to
pack a small trunk with the things she
would need aboard the yacht. At the
dinner hour she had the meal served
in her rooms. She ate sparingly, but
drank rather more, than usual of her
favorite brand of wine. 1t is needless
to add that the bottle passed through
the hands of Perkins before taking its
place on the table.
Half an hour after dinner my lady
felt drowsy and retired for nap. She
could sleep for two or three hours and
then have plenty Of time to turn the
key on the unsuspecting Perkins.
Her puffs were laid aside for the
nonce, her complexion secured against
accident. and she laid her head on the
pillow and fell asleep like tired child
or q grandmother. However, when
the count drove up soon after 10
o'clock he found my lady ready and
waiting, and the drive to the quay was
quickly made,
En- route he wanted to inquire if
there had been much trouble in dis
posing of the watchdog, but as his
companion seemed disinclined for con-
versation he decided to let the point
stand over until later. They went on
board the yacht at once, and my lady
was handed over to the care Of the.
stewardess. She might have inquired
if the rest of the party had come
aboard yet, but she didn't. She didn't
seem to care.
The count and the captain had had
their morning cocktails and were hun
grily awaiting the appearance of my
lady and breakfast, when she sailed
into the cabin after a night Of sleep
broken at intervals by chuckles that
seemed to chuckle Of their own ac-
cord.
She had a smile of serenity on her
face, and she sat down to the table
with good appetite. The captain
dotted his cap and made his bow. The
count started to do the same thing, but
caught his breath and then yelled.
1t was Perkins-Perkins the jewel
Perkins the atchdog-Perkins the all
around best ever. She was calm. She
was tranquil. She was very much at
home.
She excused the absence Of my lady
on the grounds of very pressing en-
gagement and promised, as her SUBJ
stitute, to enjoy every hour Of the trip
so kindly planned and so auspiciously
begun.
1t was a breakfast with firecrackers
and Roman candles tied to it. Every
minute or two there was a swapping
and cracking, and every minute or
two something would go of. The
Ia
hair, the captain grinned and chuck
led and Perkins said she hadn't en-
joyed a breakfast so much in many
moons.
It was soon discovered that she and
the count were not en- rapport and
coundn't view matters in the same
light. In fact, they speedily decided
that they didn't want to be found
drowned in the same Mediterranean
sea. If the disappointed and cursing
man had had Perkins afar on the
desert or on some lonely mountain
peak he would have gladly wrung her
neck, but on the yacht there were re-
straints.
OF course the craft put back. When
Perkins reached the hotel she found
my lady in tears and her complexion
ruined for life. The count left Nice
the same evening without having
called; the captain Of the yacht had
no news for reporters, and to this day
there are not half dozen people who
can elevate their eyebrows and look
knowingly when a certain name is
mentioned.
Perkins did not take advantage of
the circumstance as another might.
She simply used the incident as lever
when she wanted to cut short another
Irritation. After she had stated her
case with the force and clearness Of
an attorney at law she would hold up
a forefnger and conclude with:
"Cut it short, my lady. I may not
be there next time to doctor your wine
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