The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1908-11-26
81 'HaskeWs Rattlesnakes.

badly swullen, an in some instances
decompozishun he'd set in more quicker
then in the yuther parts.
These reports kept gettin' wursser
an wursser; they yushulIy comes from
localities immejetly ajashunt to Yuba
but sometimes they would come from
quite some distunce. One doctor he'd
said es how it wuz Ejupshun ear axe,
an yuther says es how it looks likes the
East Injun blue collie mumps, an then
some says es how it's the " est Injun
yellow fever miskeeteIs, er the Harlum-
Paree suer rats, an etcetry, etcetry.
But inully one pill sharp ups an says
es how it's the appendicksitus of the
head, an it couldn't be ilimmynated
becuz of the numurical bones ajashunt,
which Obvyated sucksussful surjikel
Opyrashuns. We all goes to the hay
after this latter promulgumashun, an
calls an extry sushyun of the Turry toriI
Leguslatur. We pros an cons fur
awhile in accordance with the yushul
parlymuntaryun preeseedunts, an when
we wuz fnully warned of the dane jur
of a drOwft in the numurus cOffays in
Yuba, we immejetly comes to the con-
clushun thet the dezeze wuz not neces-
surIy contagus, an thet it wuz sure
fattul, an thet we wuz not enlightund
es to its prevus antyseedunts. An
they appints me committy to investy-
gate, exturmynate an repuddyate this
eppydemlck les it wuz now called).
The same to be done with fastest dill
lygunce, an reckless of expunses.
l immejetly gathurs togathur my
assistants, selucted from amungst the
un-pree-emtud colluj graduyates an
barroOm oraturs, OF which Yuba he'd
an abundunce ct thet time, "au' we
goes forth like voice cryin' in the
wildernuss," but the wildernuss what
we comes to is not cUmpussed of green,
refreshin' trees, but of stun trees; ack-
shully petrylid stun trees. Now
wudst like to say here, es how this stun
furreet wuz wunst green an refresh
in' wildernuss, an es how it he'd become
petryfide with horrur, an indignashun,
an shame ct the disrespeckful and
scandalus ackshuus of coiluny Of
Latter Day Saints, the same es is some
times called Mormuns, what he'd
p tched thur tents in this wldernuss.
We he'd no sooner enturud this petry-
fled furrest, than my party wuz attack
tud by furroshus horned toad, an
before we could exterminit the varmiIt
wun of the graduyates he'd been so bad
hooked thet he he'd to be carried in a
stretchur. But instud of this beil,' all
omen of evil import, it turned out to
be blessin' in disguize, es will be seen
later.
We pitchud our tent under a i'm
mennse petryfied tree, but we soon
found thet he would hev to move it, es
the stun leaves fallin' down would soon
cut the tent to pieces, besides they
wuZ libul to mar the symuttry of the
cIassykal teachers of the colluj grad
uyates; 80 we moved our belongin's
out into barren rock pile, which, tho
it coZZed us some dlscumfurt, wuz
nythur blessin' in disguize, fur un-
beknowin'ly, we he'd moved right into
the hant of the mystury.
Now this part of the narrashun is
furnished by the graduyate what wuz
hooked by the horned toad. He seys:
"The party wuz no sooner in thur
blankets, than they wuz asleep, but
wuz not able to sleep OH account of my
wunds. l wuz layin' in the stretchur
with my eyes clOst, an intense pain,
when all of suddint hears the most
butyfullest muzic; it wuz a regular re-
purtoir. First wuz Swanny River, then
Amy Laury, then Sweet Maree, an'
then it wound up with Or Oakin Buck
it. After short inturvuI it started
Up agin, but good deal closter to the
camp; when the third time it started
up it seemed thet Amy Laury wuz
right under my stretchur, an I WIZ
just about to fall asleep under the
soothin' induenses when gets an ex-
try twinge of pain which brings me
tull aroust, so l takes a peep over to
see what cozzes the muzic, an wuz
almost es petryfied es them trees, fur