davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14
EisCOmforts Of the Oyer-fat

Oh, for a dry skin, sigh the overfat as
they start the perspiratiOn anew reach
ing over for the drink that CoOls but
tIet US trusD not inebriates.
Now, I do not wish any one 10 choke
following my advice, but / must say
that only greater fattiness and damp
ness await the fat ones who follow the
liquid path Of dalliance. The best re-
ceipt for comfort fat folks can adopt
is to reduce and then they can ply the
bowl OF soda cor hock) with pleasure.
To reduce these days is a simple af-
fair. Exercising or dieting are no
longer required, hiring an obesity "spe-
clalist' is a fOOlishness; taking stOm-
ach-upsetting remedies is unnecessary.
All that's needed is q case of the Mar
mOla Prescription Tablets Smade iden-
tically I'm accordance with the famous
MarmOla Prescription) which may be
obtained from the Marmola Co, De-
troit or any good druggist for seventy
five cents.
This sum secures enough Of these re-
markable fat reducers to last a long
time. Get one Of these extra large
Cases-it is your druggists best and
least expensive offerihg-and before II
IS used up you viii have harvested
enough solid Dement'S to make you will
ing TO pay more for them If the drug
glst would take IL. These tablets can
take on a pound Of fat q day and yet DO
no harm-nO- even cause a wrinkle
Furthermore, they viii do IL without
the help Of exercise or the least self
denial. Eat and drink as you please.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14
Bates at White House
To AdpanCe Guild Boom

Former Governor John /. Bates OF
made a flying visit to
washington yesterday for the purpose
Of sounding the sentiment of the Ad-
ministration regarding the candidacy Of
Governor Guild Of that State for the
Vice Presidential nomination. He re-
manned in Washington only long enough
to register at the Willard, leave his
dress suit case, remove the travel stairs,
and hasten to the White House
There ne remained in conference with
President Roosevelt for about fifteen
minutes-quite a long visit foT White
House callers. While he would not ad-
NIT. on leaving the Presidents office,
that his errand was in behalf OF the
candidacy Of Governor Guild, it is known
that he and the President discussed the
chances of the Massachusetts MIN with
great earnestness. but that the Presi-
ent declined to change his position 0f
neutrality In the matter.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14

MEMORIAI-On Monday
night next. June 10Th. National Tent.
30. l. VIII hold its annual memorial
service, in Pythian Temple Burton T.
Doyle. a member OF the Tent Will de-
liver the address. The members Of the
order, the widows and orphans OF the
deCea sed members and visitors are
urgently requested 20 be present OIhsT
Appropriate service win be held ant IL
viii be an Impressive and instructive
service TO which the public IS invited.
II
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14
NIAGARA'S FLOW
WILL Be OLD SIZE
For Five Hours Power Com
panieS Will Shut Down.
Cataract to Be Studied.

NIAGARA FALLS. y. y, June ID
For five hours tomorrow morning the
full flow OF water IN the American
channel Of the Niagara river viii pa So
over the American Falls. and those wso
have complained that the diversion IF
water has impaired the beauty Jf TIE
falls will have an opportunity to learn
20 what extent the cataract would be
improved were no water diverted at all.
Between 4 and O'Clock every turbine
la the two big power plants OF this
city VIII be stilled. the first time ia the
history OF industrial Niagara.
The Niagara Falls Power Company
viii shut down 70 permit the. inIcrna-
tlonal Railway Company 20 examine the
abuJmenJs OF its bridge across the
gorge, which are menaced by the tun-
mel wash.
The Niagara Falls Hydraulic Power
Company viii shut down IN cOasideTa-
ton Of a desire on the part OF Govern
ment authorities 70 study Niagara UNI
der its fun flow. Nearly 1000 cubic feet
OF water per second viii be added 10
the flow over the falls. Capt Charles
W. KuJz, of the United States War
Department. and Secretary Wilson Of
the International Waterways Commits
sion. are here 20 study the situation
under the conditions that viii Prevail
tomorrow.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14

Roads this morning. He came down
on the Presidents yacht AIayfiower from
washington and left at $50 O'Clock this
afternoon on his return trip to the Ma
tiOnal Capital
Where VIII you be when the Repub-
lican candidate is nominated for Presi-
dent at Chicago" he was asked.
"Oh, I can't tell. I might be IN Wash
ingtOn."
do you expect to be nominated on
the first baliot?"
Il am greatly interested in who gets
the first job" he replied.
Mr. Taft was in communication with
local newspapers and was greatly in
terested in telegraphic advices from
Chicago concerning the approaching
Republican national convention.
While Mr.. Tai. was taking in the
sights at the Navy Yard, some one
shouted Big BIZ, our next Teddy
THAT isn't right. is it?' he said to
Secretary MetcaIf, and others in his
party. I'm big all right, but I could
not be a Teddy"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14
EXCLUSIONS

The varied attractions offered at Ches-
apeake Beach, with its miles al water
front, are ideal to the man who wishes
&c forget the hot pavements of the
city and the business cares and worries
Of the day. The salt water bathing Is
unsurpassed. and the fishing. grabbing
and boating is excellent. The scenery
from the hotel verandas is ali that can
be asked, and the cooling breezes which
sweep IN from the bay are healthful
and inyigorating.
The beach is reached by steam rail
road equipped with modern passenger
service, and the train schedule Is fast.
Trains may be taken early in the morn
ing or during the afternoon and even
ing. The last train returning to the
city arrives in Washington before mid
night.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14
THREATEN HUGHES;
POLICE ON GUARD

ALBANY, n. " June 13.-Sincc the
ar.tl-race track betting bills were sign
ed by Governor Hughes, he has receiv-
ed many crank letters. One OF these
that came in the governors mail today
threatens his life, out as this has been
done before the governor pays little at
tenJiOn 20 it, The number of letters Of
This sort has increased since the bills
We're placed on the statute books.
For the first time since he has been a
resident Of Albany. Governor Hughes
today had police protection. Two plain
clothes men We're on duty at the eNecu-
tive mansion and will remain there UNI
III the excitement has aDated.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14
DIED.

KNOXVILLE-On June IS. 1905, at $40 p. m.
MARGARET INDIANA KNOXVILLE. 81
Arlington, Va, in the fourteenth year OF
her age.
Notice OF funeral hereafter. It
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14
Church Notices.

Souls Church. cor. I4th
md L SITS Ulysses c. B. Pierce, minister.
:45 a. m, Sunday school, class for the COM
1arative study OF religion, and unity study
'lass. II a. m, morning service; sermon by
he minister. 7;S0 p. m, Young Peoples Re
igious Union. 1els-sS
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14
New Want Ad Branch.

Residents of the southwest OF the city
will be interested 10 know that a Times
Want Ad. Agency has been established
in J. ". McDOnald's Pharmacy at the
corner of AZ and L SITS. southwest.
Want Ads under the classifications of
Wanted Help, Wanted Situations,
Wanted Rooms or Board. Boarding,
For Rent Rooms, and Rooms and Board
viii be accepted at one cent a word.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14
Taft More Interested
In First Place Job

NORFOLK, Va, June hi am not
Ct all particular about the second man
on the ticket. I am more interested in
the other job"
Secretary Of War Taft made this
statement late this afternoon at the
Norfolk Navy Yard, when he was
Informed that telegTaphic advices
from Chicago indicated that SEN
0tor DOlliver would be the Vice
Presidential candidate on the RepusIi-
can ticket.
Secretary Taft went to the Norfolk
Navy Yard after Witnessing the torpedo
ing OF the monitor Florida in Hampton
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14
Special Notices.
If You Want Clean,
Attractive Printing

avail yourself Of the Superior facIIltieB Of
the Big Print shop. Work done promptly.
Charges reasonable
JUDD * DETWEILER. Ire,
THB BIG PRINT SHOP. 42o-22 nth 81. ~.
fe1-tf
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14
UNDERTAKES
FUNERAL DESIGNS
80. 81 SHAFFER.
FUNERAL DESIGNS

18th AND I n. W.
FLOWERS FOR FUNERALS. ORDER!
PROMPTLY EXECUTED.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-06-14

81 svery observation-disclosures priced
GLIDE
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
HIS OWN BAIT.
The Giant Alligator Swapping Turtle
as a Fisherman.


There is a canny reptile fisherman
which makes effectiyS, use of the bait
which he carries III his own mouth
This is the alligator swapping turtle,
giant among reptiles, known to attain
q maximum weight of IA pounds, with
a length of shell of about twenty-eight
inches. 1t haunts rivers flowing into
the gulf of Mexico, including the Mis-
sissippi, where 1t is common. In ap-
pearance and actions it is an enlarged
duplicate of the common swapping tur-
tie. Its pale brown hues well match
the soft, muddy bottoms on which 1t
lies motionless, angling for fish with
the decoy. The bait is attached inside
the lower jaw, close to the tongue, and
Is a well developed flament of flesh,
white and distinct from the yellowish
mouth part and closely resembling a
large grub. While waiting the turtle
keeps this grub In motion, giving 1t
the aspect of crawling about in a small
circular course. Its mud colored shell,
often studded with a growth of fine,
waving moss. looks like great round
stone, and close to it Is second small
er stone, the head. Close to this small
er stone crawls the plump white grub.
A fish sees it and makes a natural
mistake. only to be seized by a sudden
snap of the powerful jaws. The jaws
are remarkably powerful. The com
mon snapper, which attains only
third of the size of his larger relative,
will bite finger clean off, and the al
ligator snapper could bite through a
wrist or foot.-Chicago Tribune.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
The BLACKBOARD.
Invented In the Year 1920 by Penn
svIvania Doctor.

Though the name blackboard" is APP
nlied TO thousands Of carriages, few
people know how the word came to be
used.
Back around 1920, says the American
Vehicle, In explaining it, when the
transportation of goods, wares ana
merchandise was almost entirely by
wagon, a DR. Buck, who for many
years afterward was the military store
keeper at Washington, was in charge
of military stores en- route to army
posts in the southwest.
In east Tennessee much d1fheulty
was experienced by reason Of the rough
roads, and there were frequent mis-
haps, mostly from the wagons over
turning.
DIR. Buck overhauled the outfit, and,
abandoning the wagon bodies, long
boards were set directly on the axles
or hung below, and the stores were
loaded in such manner that there
were no further delays from break
downs, and the stores safely reached
their destinations In special emer-
gency, too, the load could be shifted
or taken off In Il hurry.
The idea was probably not new, but
DR.. Bucks example was followed
especially when roads were rough, and
soon much hauling was done by the
use of wheels, axles and boards only.
Now we have the blackboard, both III
carriage and automobile forms, con
forming closely to the original idea
though few suspect the source OF it
San Francisco Chronicle.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
TRICKS OF WRITERS.
A Ruse by Which KipIing Piqued His
Readers Curiosity.

Readers CURIOSITY
"Nhen I first began to read Kip
Iing'' said an admirer, my curiosity
was Immensely piqued by the scraps
of verse with which he usually headed
his early stories. They were all cred
tied to poems l had never heard OF In
my life and were just such salient
striking fragments as would naturally
whet ones appetite for the remainder.
For over a year tried hard to locate
those mysterious poems and enlisted
half a dozen book dealers In the
search. At last one of them wrote me
that l was wasting time and that the
alleged quotations were merely Mr..
Kipling's little joke.
'sIn other words, he manufactured
'em to order and stuck them at the top
of his tales for the sake of the odor OF
erudition they lent to the production
/ was mad for a while, but when
cooled off / had good big laugh VI
course you know Scott used to do the
same thing, and so, for that matter
did Edgar Allan Poe. Poe was really
the worst quotation faklr of the lot.
"He would write wise sounding de
tached sentences and credit them tC
imaginary German philosophers witt
long, outlandish and impressive names
However. | don't know why the thint
should be punishable. The business o.
a writer of fiction is to create an illu
sion, and as long as he does 1t To-
one am not particular what means D.
employs to contribute to the end
New Orleans Times Democrat.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
LITERARY HERESY?
Are chaucer, spenser, Milton, Byron
and Shakespeare Bores?

Are Chaucer, Spenser, Milton, Byron
and Shakespeare Bores?
1--WE had the notion of doing some
thing Of the kind" the Easy Chair
confessed when requested to furnish
a list Of the hundred best authors,
''but we could not think of more than
ten or a dozen really first rate au-
thors, and if we had begun to COM
pile a list of the best authors we
should have had to leave out most Of
their works. Nearly all the classics
would have gone by the board. What
havoc we should have made with the
British poetsl The Elizabethan dram
atists would mostly have fallen under
the ban Of our negation to play If
not to a man. Chaucer, but for few
poems, is impossible; Sponsors poetry
is generally duller than presidential
messages; Milton is trial of the spirit
in three-fourths of his verse; Wads
worth Is only not so bad as Byron,
who thought him so much worse;
Shakespeare himself when he is rever
entity supposed not to be Shakespeare
is reading the martyrs; Dante's science
and politics outweigh his poetry a
thousandfold, and so on through the
whole catalogue. William Dean How
ellis in Harper's Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11

Richard Informed her boast1ngiy.
.Richard, what are you talking abouti
What's his nameT
Barbara will tel you She likes him
They've been laughing lots"
The introduction. with its subsequent
explanations, at last over with, Mrs
Malloney was ali charming hospitality
''Of course you'll come out and stay
with as while you're here. Mr.. Ami
don. The city Is 50 disagreeable in
warm weather. It's a great privilege
to be able to do anything for Dicks
friends. We're all most fond Of him,
but he gives US very little chance to
show It. You will make this youf
headquarters, won't your"
John Amidon had to hold on to him
self good and hard. He was so happy
that he feared he would appear over
Jealous In accepting the invitation.
OF course john Amidon fell head ovei
heels In love with Barbara. OF course
he decided to spend the whole summer
In the east, and, of course. at the end
of the summer he wrote to his chum
Dick Malloney. commanding his con
gratulati0Ds-
You're going to marry Barbara
aren't your asked Richard junior. bob
bling abruptly out from under the ham
mock where the lovers were sitting
one evening at twilight
.sYou bet | amp exclaimed John
catching him MP affectionately.
what win / be them" queried thu
puzzled Richard. your cousin or you
sonT'
your Why" said John. laughing
you'll be my best man, of course"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
Tho Cruelty Of Thoughtlessnsss.

Most of the cruelty of the world is
thoughtless cruelty. Very few people
would Intentionally add to apother's
load or make his burden In life heavier
or his path rougher. Most Of the great
heart wounds are inflicted by thought
less thrusts, flung out often In mo-
ment of anger, when perhaps we were
too proud to apologize or to try to heal
the grievous wounds we had made.
Can anything be more cruel than to
discourage a soul who Is struggling to
do the best ne can, to throw stumbling
blocks In the path Of those who are
trying to get on In the world against
great odds?
No life Is just the same after you
have once touched it VIII you leave
ray of hope or one of despair, fash
of light or somber cloud across some
dark life each day? VIII you by
thoughtless cruelty deepen the shadow
which hangs over the life or will you
by kindness dispel it altogetherf No
matter how you feel or what is dis
turbing your peace Of mind. never III
low yourself to send out a discourag-
ing. cruel or an unkind word or
thought.-Suecess Magazine.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
A Lost Dime.

A man one day called upon the first
John Jacob Aston with a business
proposition which demanded an in.
vestment of 100000 on his part. While
listening to the plan be kept cropping
and feeling about on the floor for
something he seemed to have dropped
When the plan had been explained he
said readily: "All right I'll furnish
the money" At that instant man
entered to tell him that one of bis
buildings had burned down.
'sThat happens nearly every day.
be said, with the utmost unconcern.
and went on feeling about with great
care for that something on the carpet
Finally the visitor was curious enough
to Inquire what he had dropped
81 dropped dime here moment
ago." he replied, land | can't find 1t
If mans buildings burn down they
are gone, and he can't help It, but q
man who deliberately throws away 10
cents because he won't take the trou-
BILE to look for it is not to be forgiven. >
The more you think over it the more
you will see the good sense In that
piece of philosophy
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
The First ENGLISH Rookmaker.


Both the Derby and the Oaks owe
their names to that Earl of Derby who
kept pack of staghounds near Epson
during the last quarter of the eight
zenith century and resided at hunt
ing box called the Oaks. Fifty years
later a spiteful description of the Oaks
and its jockeys was recorded in the
diary of Charles Greville. In the re
port Of the first Derby run the names
of five starters and of all the riders
are missing and there is no betting
quotation.
As the earliest known bookmaker.
vauxhall Clarke, was hanged, not for
welshing, but for highway robbery.
betting on the race course could not
at that period have been a particularly
profitable profession. Jockeys did not
then possess their present princely sal
aries. but with fee Of guinea were
more richly rewarded than those of
King James l., who were RECALLED by
our British Solomon with long
speeches, delivered half in Latin and
half in Westminster Ga
zaffo
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
He who purposely cheats his friend
would cheat his God.-Lavater.
A Picture of Your Voice.

To take picture of your voice it is
only necessary to tie a sheet of thin.
strong paper over the wide end of a
tin trumpet Hold it with the sheet Of
paper upward, take a thin pinch Of
fine sand and place it in the center of
the paper, hold the trumpet vertically
above your face and sing note into
the lower end. Do not blow, but sing
the note. Lower the trumpet carefully
and look at the sand. You Will find
that the vibrations of your voice have
scattered the pinch of sand into a
beautiful sound picture. Every note
in the musical scale will produce a
different picture, so you may produce
great variety Of them Some of these
pictures look like pansies, roses and
other flowers; some look like snakes
and others like flying birds. In fact.
there is no limit to the variation.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
HAD BEEN IN JAIL.
Yet It Did Not Prejudice His Standing
- n Mi+nese

Yet It Did Not Prejudice His Standing
as Witness.
An important case was being tried
before the criminal court of the Dis
trict of Columbia. An old negro was
IN the witness box. The district attor
ney commenced:
what is your name?
John Williams, sah."
Are you the John Williams who was
sent to the Albany penitentiary for
larceny"
NO. sah-not this john"
"Are Won the John Williams who was
convicted of arson and sent to the Bal
timore penitentiary?"
mo, sah."
"Have you ever been in any peniten-
tiary?'
Eyes. sah."
All eyes were now turned upon the
witness. The district attorney smiled
complacently and resumed:
"How many times have you been Ia
the penitentiary2"
"Twice. sab"
| "Where?
I'm Baltimore, sah.'
How long were you there the first
timer
about two hours, sah."
How long the second timer" asked
the attorney, rather crestfaIlen.
"An hour, sab. went there to
whitewash a cell that was wanted for
a lawyer who had robbed his client"
The attorney sat down amid the
laughter of the spectators.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
NEEDED AFTER ALL.
A Chance For the Book Agent After
He Got In Trim

= OHdhSC " AttS 1@Or@ FNSStie fNtASt
He Got In Trim.
Madam" said the book canvasser
as the door was opened by very
comedy maid. Il ain selling new book
on etiquette and Geportnent.'
ooh. you are" she responded. 60
down there on the grass and clean
the mud off your feet
"Yes'm." and he went. "As ! was
saying. ma'am," he continued as he
again came to the door, 81 am sell''-
Take off your hat! Never address
a strange lady at her door without re-
moving your hat"
''Yesm." And off went the hat.
Nov, then. as l was saying
Take your hands out of your peck
cts. No gentleman ever carries his
hands there
''Yes'm," and his hands cIutched his
coat lapels. Now. ma'am. this work
on eti''-
Throw away your cigarette. If
gentleman uses tobacco he is careful
not to disgust others by the habit"
"Yes'm," and the tobacco disap-
peared. Now, maam,'' as he wiped
his brow, Sin calling your attention to
this valuable
Wait Put that dirty handkerchief
out of sight l don't want your book.
am only the hired girl. You can
come In. however, and talk with the
lady of the house. She called me
liar this morning, and l think she
needs something of the kind Sketch
Pits
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
The Armenian AIphabet.

An Armenian girl goes to school at
four or five years old, but before that
she has probably learned her 'letters. !"
which is almost an education in itself,
as the Armenian alphabet contains
thirty-nine. She learns these letters
from a small slab of wood on which
they are printed This slab is fastened
to a handle, making it something like
hairbrush in shape. The Armenians
boast that their formidable alphabet
is so perfect as to give every sound
known to any other nation.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-08-11
The ella Monster.

The ella monster is a large, clumsy
lizard from one to two feet long. He
is generally too lazy to be pugnacious,
but If his anger is once aroused he
will grip you with clutch of bull
dog, turning over as he bites so that
the venom-which is secreted in Il
gland in the lower jaw instead of the
upper, like the rattlesnake-is pretty
sure to mix well with his saliva and
so make his attack fatally effective.
His five toed hands and feet render
him adept at bush climbing In his wild
estate he lives on young rabbits and
birds eggs When captured, he eats
only eggs or a little chopped meat
mixed with them.-Los Angeles Times.