The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1908-02-02
,Monsst Pleasant Person,


E ~. "A
The PeIyphcnous Person and the Pro-
tecfIng Persons.
Ee-ee-eek. ee-ee-eek. Thwack.
ph. Gertrudss Run. It's mouse
and he may pot kin him.
VOW Bin! Riay, sn wSsek VOW
Just look At that brute beating that
poor-oor little dog In that barrel.
Why doesn't some one stop hirnf Let's
aoo.ool p Don A you sf fsei ni foolishs He
e Jus; making that fuss with his
Didn't The polyphonous Person have
squaked and mewed and whinea and
yeiped ana grurtsd. How he chased
the rats aud iudee up. and down the
curb. howshs fhwacked them with his
with his srsaf' ret How he did sSI poke
he Kicked tiis t;Ss porker! How he
'0s Hnd a sna sfi slsssn their tender
hearts a-nrtter ran shopward IL II was
rat or mouse. surbward IL 1t was any
other individual of the tortured rats
ana II mias and other small deer. And
There they formed back. The pro- l
tecting persons could do nothing to
help little aufpaals they could not see.
and tripped sway pretfiiy. The mem
bless their big awkWafd selves, they
couldn't blush and trip prettilyi they
Just fell all over themselves when they
And hundreds were sold. The Poly
phonous Person. with that little invis-
ihle squeaker In his mouth Just paraded
Dexter Avenue all day He was like
lowing, and after each particularly
lucky "saseh' he sold q dozen squesx-
Once. indeed. he cansht hsndily. A
boring Of the poor little dog that was
being 50 horribly mistreated. lone
lady could NOS endure 1t. She made q
circle--and thee went away.
Too tad today is Snnday---he proba.
bly, won't show.
Heard In the Barber shop.
Well. I see Thaw's loose.
That so2 Well. he ought to be; that
fellows e ps.s h ,s 2 hard time How longs
About two years. The jury wasn't
Aw. q Southern Jury wouldn't never
left the box Why, after the way that
! bet Jerome made a pile of money
Whatchsr taikin' bout7 Miiton's the
hian that made the money:
man; L-i-t-t-I-s-t-o-n, Littleton; MIL
toni Haw-haw-hawl
Well. get jerome had his raks-ohl.
Thaw's rich as fresh laGher. How
mqis Sp sSs e esa f4 s psSps got
all the money.
!. say he's y rlEht new; pretty little
watch what say. now; they'll split in
year; see IL they don't--just as tell
you. they wor't be toEsthsr twelve
months from now. a.. =.
good when he walked out Of that cell?
Shampoo7 Nor Dry, sir? All right,
sir; cad again. Brushi
Gloves, Movs to Wear Them.
"Now, would you be so good. inquired
The Placid Person of The Perfectly APP
pareIled Person. ''as to tell me why You
wear your gloves In the upper outside
gers sticking out as IL they were beck
bygl.,, -.
Person. PRISON. rather sarprissd that any one
should even nhaAow with the cloud of
doubt q fashion that both he and The
Person Who Periodically Appears at
questions Without knowing II, too, The
Perfectly Appareled Person admitted |
that the fingers were beckoning the att
tsntion Of tls Rasssrs vise so o1cIin1ss
sort OF accent which made The Placid
Person feel as II, he was being talked
to through plate glass) sometimes we
wear a handkerchief there. It is the
II thank you for the information"
replied The. Placid Person. IT had I'M
derstood that the affairs were for the
ing them warmth in the cold, and
shelter from chapping winds. What
protection they offered to your chest,
slowed away in that pencil pocket as
am glad to see that the glove is util-
lied to comfort and adorn not only the
human hand, bait the human coat also.
1t is but another manifestation OF the
to be expansively expounded In, what
will be the greatest work since Sar-
tor Resartus, my treatise Of The Ci-
then. Is employed--in military figure /
might almost say, depIoyed--in the hui
man pocket to prove ownership; that
Is a Subsidiary but correlated princi.
pie Of The Cigar as An Article OF
Adown the street The Placid Person
met The Impractical Person.
My My S STisnd n sss SsHay Of 'nS
youth / thought that the great prob
lem of life was how to obtain food and
clothes. Now. sir. the problem is how
10 cut anu wear Lu0itls
practical Person. "When / get up I
put 'em on, and when / go TO bed take
'em OF. There is nothing simpler than
the inevitable"
Those Who Ride I'm Chalses.
"Of course the conventional jest is
about the deadly automobile but the
autos OF montgomery are tame indeed.
when compared with the ordinary horse
ana wagon" remarked one who does
1ot ride In chaises but walks to anoth-
er rhyme. There has been so much
said and written that to say Montgom-
cry has the most reckless drivers in
the world has gotten to be q common
place, as trite as the remark that it
had cleared up at last. But while they
are talking about Perry Street drive
way and the good IT is going to DO the
city, the people who drive ought to
take care that they do not go beyond
their rights.
Now right there, almost did an in
Justice; 1t is not the people who drive
for pleasure, and would be expected
most to use driveway, that are most
regardless of the comfort. safety and
serenity Of others; 1t is the drivers of
and so on, that go plunging through
town. apparently not caring whether
they run down somebody or not. 1t is
only luck that they don't. Why. they
do so IL is hard to say. Surely reckless
driving is not good driving; q man with
any respect for horse will not handle
him reckiessly.
1T is other drivers as well as the
pedestrians that suffer from the gem