davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-12-23

When man asks for dinner, give
him advice. Advice is better than a
square meal any day.-Extract from
Old Money Grub's diary.
& 4 4
1t Is almost as hard to get hired
girl as II is to get into Tafts cabinet.
Somehow the kitchen cabinet does not
appeal to the misses of the. land.
e & 4
Just because a girl gives you a
pleasant smile you have no right TO
rush of TO the jewelers. for a diamond
ring It's a way girls have, bless
'em.
A Chicago poet kicks because a
Princeton student makes manners"
rhyme with "pajamas." Possibly he
had just tried pair of the latter and
didn't care.
There are few benevolent, nice old
gentlemen enjoying life who will soon
don cotton-batting clothing. play Santa
Claus and be put away In pretty ma
hogany box that will cost somebody a
lot OF money,
Il 4 4
When you take one of those new
Chicago street cars, you have to pay
in advance, but when you take the
home newspaper, you can fool the con,
ductor Il you are foxy by jumping on
the car at the end of the trip.
600
ysv a. Printers Error.
A Colorado editor wanted 10 announce
that church attendants on the following
Sabbath would be permitted TO Inspect
the most beautiful stained glass windows
In the west. The printer made Il read
the most beautiful. stunning grass
Widows" and before the singing OF the
first hymn the next Sunday the sexton
found II necessary to hang out the S. X
o. sign.-Aurora dll) Beacon
S4r%.eMaA.-=s %
---- - =. ----
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-12-23
On the Wing.

An editor pays very little attention
TO the head OF a poem, What he II
Interested In is its feet.
4. a.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-12-23

WaJS uiop oSihN
kind of a coin In
his cup. No mat
ter how much ]
need the money,
| cannot refrain
from letting a lit
tie sunshine into
the lives of the
city's poor unfor'
tunates."
II used to feel
that way about II,
too" agreed Rob.
erts, blowing the
smoke from his
perfecto, but ]
had a funny ex'
perlence the 9th
er night that has
made me suspi'
cious. You know
the white-halred
beggar that has
been sitting at
the corner OF Rig
by and Holton
streets for a year
or more?
"Wen, | used
to stop in passing
and say a Kind
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-12-23
VISITS Y! SITS VIII
sweet charity.

81 never pass beggar on the
street." ventured Winters, but | al.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-12-23

"Daily. Daily except Sunday
All trains daily except locals
and Nos. and 10.
For further information regarding
trains, call Information operator.
u. 70. NDBERGALL,
Phone 246, Ticket Agent.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
Strictly Fresh Eggs.

There are summer resorts, remote
from any agricultural communities,
where fresh farm products are even
harder to obtain than in the city. 1t
was at such a place that the new
boarder, who had eaten four or FIVE
breakfasts there, began to wonder
why the eggs were invariably served
fried.
"See here?' he inquired one morn
ing of the genial colored man who
waited upon him, why do you always
fry eggs here? Don't you ever boil
them"
"Oh-oh, yes, sah!" responded the
waiter, pleasantly. "Of co'se, yo' kin
have 'em boiled, if yo' wants EN-. But
you know, sab, yo' takes de risk"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
General Dem and

of the Well Informed of the World has
always been for a simple, pleasant and
efficient liquid laxative remedy of known
value; laxative which physicians could
sanction for family use because its COM
ponent parts are known to them to be
wholesome and truly beneficial in effect,
acceptable to the system and gentle, yet
prompt, in action.
In supplying that demand with its ex-
cellent combination of Syrup of Figs and
Elixir Of SIENNA, the California Fig Syrup
Co. proceeds along ethical lines and relies
on the merits of the laxative for its remark
able success.
That is one of many reasons why
Syrup of Figs and Elixir of SIENNA is given
the preference by the Well-Informed.
To get its beneficial effects always buy
the genuine manufactured by the Cali
fornia Fig Syrup Co., only, and for sale
oy all leading druggists. Price fifty cents
per bottle.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
Ereak Of = Kansas storm.

A curious freak of the tornado took
place on the Tucker farm, says the
Smith County Pioneer. Mr.. Tucker,
who was lying in bed with a broken
leg, could not rur to place of safety
when the storm was seen coming. His
wife gathered the three little children
and they all piled on the bed with Mr..
Tucker, the wife saying that if all
were killed they would all die to-
gether.
After the storm Mrs. Tucker found
herself about so yards away, two lit.
rio girls dowH in the bed of the creek,
the little boy sitting on pile of straw
all unhurt. Looking toward the house
Mrs. Tucker saw all of it swept away
except the floor. But the bed still
stood where it did before the storm
and her husband was still lying upon
If without a scratch.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
Her Reason.

Not long ago there was tried in an
Ohio court suit for damages where
in the principal witness, woman liv-
ing near Dayton, was induced to come
to court only after several subpoenas
had been served upon her.
When the dilatory witness was final
" brought before his honor, he said
in his severest tone:
What reason can you assign,
madam, for disobeying the summons
of the court?"
Il amt got none, Jedge," answered
the woman, meekly, only we've got
smallpox down to our place, an /
thought mebbe you'd be kinder pre-
iudiced agin t."-Illustrated.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
ALMOST A SHADOW.
Gained 20 lbs. on Grape-Nuts.

There's wonderful difference be-
tween a food which merely tastes good
and one which builds up strength and
good healthy flesh.
It makes no difference how much we
eat unless we can digest it. It is
not really food to the system until
it is absorbed. A Yorkstate woman
says:
Il had been a sufferer for ten years
with stomach and liver trouble, and
had got SO bad that the least bit of
food such as | then knew, would give
me untold misery for hours after
eating.
81 lost flesh until was almost a
shadow of my original self and my
friends were quite alarmed about me.
First / dropped coffee and used
Postum, then began to use Grape-Nuts
although I had little faith it would do
me any good.
But continued to use the food and
have gained twenty pounds in weight
and feel like another person in every
way. | feel as If life had truly begun
anew for me.
81 can eat anything like now in
moderation, suffer no i'll effects, be on
my feet from morning until night.
Whereas year ago they had to send
me away from home for rest while
others cleaned house for me, this
spring have been able to do 1t myself
all alone.
my breakfast is simply Grape-Nuts
with cream and cup of Postum, with
sometimes an egg and a piece of toast
but generally only Grape-Nuts and
Postum. And I can work until noon
and not feel as tired as one hours
work would have made me year ago.
There's a Reason"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read, 1.-THE Road to Well
vi1le,'' in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full of human
interest.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
Ethereal VS.. Mundane.

Two men sat on park bench one
starry evening recently, says the New
York Times. Through powerful
glasses they were examining the f1rma-
ment. 1t was apparent that one of
them was an enthusiastic astronomer.
He seemed sufficiently familiar with
the smallest star to call it by its first
name-that is, If stars have first
names.
Drawing his companions attention
to a particular star in close proximity
to the handle of the Dipper, he said:
Perhaps you may be able to appre-
ciate the immensely of distance be-
tween that star and our earth when
say it would take more than 100 years
for 40-horsepower automobile run
ming at full speed to reach it,
BY the quality of awe in his friends
voice, it was plain that he was I'M
usually impressed, as he said:
No? A hundred years? Why, man,
thing of the gasoline BILL
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
COOP CAUSE FOR WRATH.
Art Collector and lrritated Waiter
Had the Same Feelings.

A Chicago art dealer was talking
about the wrath of William r. Evans,
the New York collector upon whom
80 many bogus paintings have been
imposed.
He's awfully angry" said the art
dealer, depressing a smile. Some of
his costliest pictures, you know, have
turned out fakes. His blood boils
when he thinks of the way he has
been duped.
He told me the other day that he
could hardly understand the rage that
possessed him against every petty lit
tie Insignificant dealer that had cheat
ed him. He said it was like the rage
OF waiter that he had noted one
afternoon at luncheon.
AT luncheon, Mr. Evans said, he
called his walters attention to a dead
fly in some dish or other.
THE waiter, as he took the dish
away, muttered with a maIevolent
look at the limp insect:
I'D give a two-dollar bill if l knew
for certain that this was the fly that's
been buzzing about my nose all the
morning"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
Take This Advice


Use Johnson's Tonic for Fever: Use
nothing else. Do nothing else. Nothing
else is needed.
Types of Fever which run from week
to 4 months when treated with Quinine
are cured with Johnson's Tonic.
The people of the South are waking up
to the fact that it is only the mistreated
or neglected cases of Fever that give
cause for apprehension.
When Johnson's Tonic is used quick
cure follows.
No Ouinine. No Arsenic. No Alcohol.
No Aconite. None of the doubtful OF dam
gerous products of Coal Tar. No poison.
No Mercury.
Just a simple remedy that is all suf-
fcient for giant and yet the very thing
to use for the tenderest babe. or frailest
woman. Write to the Johnson's Chill and
Fever Tonic Co., Savannah, Ga.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
SHE COULD NOT WALK
For Notwithstanding Humor on Ankles
-opiates Alone Brought Sleep
Eczema Yielded to Cuticura.

II had eczema for over two years.
[ had two physicians, but they only
gave me relief for short time and l
cannot enumerate the ointments and
lotions I used to no purpose. My ank-
les were one mass of sores. The itch
ing and burning were so intense that
| could not sleep. could not walk for
nearly four months. One day my hus-
band said I had better try the Cuticura
Remedies. After using them three
times I had the best nights rest in
months unless I took an opiate.
used one set of Cuticura Soap, Oint-
ment, and Pills, and my ankles healed
In a short time. 1t is now a year since
used Cuticura, and there has been no
return of the eczema. Mrs. David
Brown, Locke, Ark, May Is and July
Is, 1907"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
Held Pull Hard,

Senator Folker, who journeyed to
Albany at the risk of his life to cast
the vote that doomed racing in New
York, had collected a number of in
stances of race-track trickery, said
an Albany legislator.
Discussing, one day, the way jock
eys so often sold races, he said that
there was a Gloucester jockey once,
the rider of favorite, who was over
heard to say in a saloon, the night
before the favorite ran:
"T shaR't win unless the reins
break"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
NO CHANCE TO BuNko HIM.
City ;Younester Too Well Aware of the
WiIes of Grafters.

The baseball evangelist. the elo-
uuent Billy Sunday, said during the
revival services at Sharon, Pa:
Keep good company, Nothing does
the young more harm than bad So
ciety. Only yesterday a farmer told
me about youngster of six or seven
a little country weeker, who had as
suspicious and mistrustful heart as
some old miser or crook.
This boy was sent by charity So
ciety. to spend week at the farmers.
The farmer set out to meet him, but
was late. He ran into him halfway
to the farm, trudging along the white
road, big burlap bag of luggage on
his little bony shoulder
The farmer held out his hands for
the burlap bag.
"Tr carry it, son. he said. It's too
heavy for you
"'Go on!' said the little hoy fierce
". Clear out now, or I'll call a cop "
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
Astonlshed Great Pianist.

A collection of anecdotes of musical
celebrities just published at Leipsic
contains this one under the head OF
Anton Rubinstein. When the great
pianist was making his tour of the
United States he sat one day in q
railroad train looking out upon the
scenery. Suddenly man sitting
across the aisle spat over Rubinstein's
head out of the open window. The
master drew back and gazed in aston
ishment and anger at the vulgar Amer
lean, who smiled and said, soothingly:
Don't worry; know my distance"
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29

worry about him not paying his rent
on time. But before he took the room
he asked If he couldn't go up On the
roof and see If it would suit him for a
certain purpose. was somewhat sur
prised at him wanting to rent the
roof, but thinking him photographer,
or something like that, / brought him
up here and he was real pleased. So
ne told me his business, and | rented
this roof to him without any hesitation
at all. 1t isn't every day one can rent
a scrap of roof for more than a good
sunny front room, and you can't blame
me for doing so.
Well. sir, he was kiteologist, as he
told me. He flew kites to study the
winds and the temperature at a great
height. He wasn't in the employ OF
the government, but was studying on
his own account. He took his silk
hat off and sat down right over there,
and explained all about it to me. His
kites weren't like those that the boys
ny. nor were they like have seen
pictures of in the papers-great big
hnxlike things-but they were eagles
real live eagles. He had three OF
them. and he would attach a strong
string to their legs and let them NJ
IN into the heavens with thermom-
eter and barometer attached, or some
such-like scientific instruments, and
when he was ready, he would gently
draw them down again.
well, sir, it was pleasure to near
him talk: he knew everything ABOUT
eagles and kites and the heavens, and
oe course / consented for him to bring
his birds and fly them from my root'
not supposing the landlord l get the
honsa from would care at all. Whlch
I can say. he didn't. So the next aay
80 nrofessor came with his three
eagles and placed them up here on the
roos IN that big cage, and 1t was gooo
- sea how he did love those birds, and
NAV with them, and teacn them al
L;nds Of tricks. My gracious, put tney
go strong! I really think the small
80 - the three could have lifted Dig
oh;,d il its claws; and the professor
sXnlained how that they must De strons
~ carry his scientific instruments SO
high in the air. -,.
WaII week passed and he didn't
Az his eagles, for he was waiting TOT
tham to get accustomed to tneir new
,ocat,on SO they would return IKE car
io Soyas Il case the string tied TO
t he legs got broken; and at the eno
~ the week, before the professor
o " Ia trv his experiment at all tnat
I 5uoadfnl accident happened. which tn me
naners made SO much o. ana "na 'aa
fr,pbtened the professor. VINO wac ao
+,noid ike all real scientific men zen h -
that he never came back, even i0' A''
clothes. - ,+raet from
you ! se tna Isubtreasury, and every III,
ne n,s,la d wagon drives up 70 I'M I'M
door filled with big canvas a nag ont
- ov goId. and The clerks will come 3lto the
o i ret the gold and carry y rn,U no
ana ~ Wei ON Tuesday mornins
1,st , after had finished some w s,snd1e
and Was going out to get new nso,,an fine
ana wa ;sons which had got broken, .ns
- t cn drove up before the suo Urea oat
foor and the clerks began y .h san' into
u the sacks a q gold and carry 'neD' -
kha bank.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
ReYond Exnression.

G. w. Farlowe, East Florence, Ala,
writes: For nearly seven years I
was afflicted with form of skin dis
ease which caused an almost unbear-
able itching. I could neither work,
rest or sleep in peace. Nothing gave
me permanent relief until l tried Hunts
Cure. One application relieved me;
one box cured me, and though year
has passed, I have stayed cured. I am
grateful beyond expression
Hunts Cure is a guaranteed remedy
for all itching diseases of the skin.
Price SOC.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
The kiteologist
COPYRIGHT. by shortstory Pub, CO..
By Dom Mark Lemon

3,is Il come up on the roof, sir, and
yEss sAoW you the cage and tell Won ALI
I know about the professor hut
go We go step further let me
you that I don't believe a word
"nat the newspapers printed about
49,, No, sir, | won't and can't believe
such true gentleman as the pro-
49, always showed himself to be
eSuid nave deliberately set out to rob
~ government of over $4,000. It's
It'll 49, osterous to think of, but it's just
.ke me newspapers to make the mat
81 sensational as possible.
aKe care you don't tear your coat
NJ that nail. I'll have nv bow null r.
w when he comes home from school.
1s9W sir. step this way, and you can
~ Tor yourself how innocent the pro-
asor was of any evil intentions.
s.Ook: Do you think this fiat tin roof
tooKs like a robbers roost? It's ri
1lellous; yet to read the newspapers
sel would think that We landlords are
Rhe friends of robbers, and all manner
IN thieves. We landlords have a hard
enough struggle to live, without the
newspapers making it any harder
for us.
Yes, sir this is the cage where the
professor kept his three big eagles,
and now I'll tell you how he came to
stop with me, and why he had such
strange-like pets. You see, had just
lately taken this house and had spent
the last dollar had in the world in
furnishing it, and was glad enough to
nave such a nice gentleman as the pro-
fessor come along the second day after
put up my sign and ask If l hadn't
furnished front room to let, with
running water and a good deep closet
where he could keep his clothes.
Well, sir, | snapped him up at once,
as | could see he was a gentleman,
md, besides, he looked neat and pros
porous, and felt / wouldn't have to
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
He Meant Business.

Two girls on the boardwalk talked
Ct a young man.
Don't take any stock in him" said
the first. HE is flirt. He is jilt."
But his presents"
"He gives all the girls presents
when he is making up to them. Why,
he gave me something every other
week."
But he gives me-" said the second
girl, such presents as convince me
that he means business this time"
What has he given you?"
"He has given me a tea service, a
set of table linen, Morris chair. a
hall rug, and a beautiful brass bed
stead."-Exchange
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
rha One Who DREW

There is one well-established actor
who views his present season with
mingled feelings.
Although he has made more money
than any previous tour has placed to
his credit his new leading woman
came in for almost all the newspaper
compliment and far more than her
share of social notice.
Out in Chicago George Ade met the
actor and felicitated him on having re-
ceived a bouquet from critic no
toriousIy averse to praising any actor.
1T was really. quite an elegy-l
mean eulogy," said the Hoosler hu'
morist.
'elegy' for me- -.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
Few Horses Used in China.

The only places in China where
horses are used to any great extent
are Shanghai, Esing-Tau and Tien-
Tsin. Australian "walers," so called
because they originate in New South
Wales, are the most popular. These
horses are imported into Shanghai in
patches of from 20 to SO, are well Ia
ken care of on the voyage, and, ar
irving in excellent condition, are put
into use within couple of weeks aft.
er arrival.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
MET ON HIS OWN GROUND.
Dishonest Politician Gets Little Salts
faction from Promise.

Congressman LongWorth, at din
ner during the Republican convention
in Chicago, talked about honest poll
tics.
Honest politics alone pays in the
end said he. Your dishonest poll
tician comes out like Lurgan of Gin
cinnati Lurgan was canvassing for
votes. He dropped in at grocer's.
"'Good morning. he said. I may
count on your support, 1 hope?
Why, no, Mr.. Lurgan, said the
grocer. I've promised my support to
your rival
Lurgan laughed easily.
"'Ah, but, in politics. said he,
promising and performing are two
different matters
"In that case said the grocer,
heartily, I shall be most happy to
give you my promise, Mr.. Lurgan.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
Do You Itch2

If so, you know the sensation is not
an agreeable one, and hard to cure un-
less the proper remedy is used.
Hunts Cure is the King of all Skin
remedies. 1t cures promptly any itch
ing trouble known. No matter the
name or place. One application re-
lieves-one box is absolutely guaran-
teed to cure.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
Have Xnm HhiIis2

1t cured your Pa and also your Ma
Of chills in the long ago, and it will
cure you now. It has been tested by
time and its merits have been proven.
We guarantee one bottle to cure any
one case of Chills. II it fails your
money is cheerfully refunded-and its
name is Cheathams Chill Tonic.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29

the kidney secretions were badly dis
ordered. l was completely worn out
and discouraged when I began using
Doan's Kidney Pills, but they went
right to the cause of the trouble and
did their work we'll I have been
feeling well ever since"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. Y.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
The COME AND SEE SIGN

This sign is permanently attached
to the front of the main building OF
the Lydia E. Pinkham Medicine
Company, Lynn, Mass.
What Does This Sign Mean
It means that public inspection OF
the Laboratory and methods OF doing
business is honestly desired. Itmeans
that there is nothing about the bus
mess which is not "open and above
board"
It means that a permanent invita-
ton is extended to anyone to come
and verify any and all statements
made in the advertisements OF Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Is it a purely vegetable compound
made from roots and herbs -. with
out drugs
Come and See.
Do the women of America continu-
ally use as much of it as we are told ?
Come and See.
Was there ever such a person as
Lydia e. Pinkham, and is there any
Mrs. Pinkham now to whom sick
woman are asked to writer
Come and See.
Is the vast private correspondence
with sick women conducted by
women only, and are the letters kept
strictly confidential?
Come and Sees
Have they really got letters from
over one million, one hundred
thousand women correspondents?
Come and See.
Have they proof that Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has
cured thousands of these women?
Come and Sees
This advertisement is only for
doubters. The great army of women
who know from their own personal
experience that no medicine in the
world equals Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound for female ills
will still go on using and being BEN
Gifted by it; but the poor doubling,
suffering woman must, for her own
sake, be taught confidence, forsheals
might just as well regain her health.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29
Thare,s Z Reason.

Mrs. JINGLE don't see why those
gowns look so much nicer on the fig
ures in the dry goods windows than
they do on women.
Mr.. JINGLE do.
Mrs. Jingle-Why?
Mr.. Jingle-The figures keep STILL
Toledo Blade.
St. Tammany farmer. [volume] (Covington, La.) 1874-current, 1908-08-29

five months in a
hospital l was dis
charged as incur
able, and given only
six months to live.
My heart was affect
ed, | had smother
ing spells and some
times fell uncon:-
scious. I got so I
couldn't use my
arms, my eyesight
was Unmarried and