The Somerset reporter. [volume] (Skowhegan, Me.) 1868-1909, 1908-02-13
St. Peter at the Gate.

St Peter stood guard at the golden gate,
With a solemn mien and air sedate,
When up to the top Of the golden stair
A man and woman ascending there,
Applied for admission They came an stood
Before ST. Peter. so great and good.
In hopes the City OF Peace to win,
And asked St. Peter to let them in
The woman was tall. and lank, and thin,
With a straggy beardlet upon her chin,
The man was short, and thick, and stout
His stomach was built so it rounded out
His face was pleasant and all the while
lie wore a kindly and genial smile,
The choirs in the distance the echoes woke,
And the man kept still while the woman
spoke.
"Oh, thou, who guards the gate said she,
I'VE two came hither beseeching thee
To let US enter The heavenly land
And play our harps with the angel band,
OF me, St Peter, there is no doubt,
There's nothing from heaven to bar me out,
I've been to meetings three times a week,
And almost always I'd rise and speak.
We told the sinners about the day
When they repent Of their evil way;
I've told my neighbors-Ive told 'em all
Bout Adam and Eve, and the Primal Fall.
I've shown them what they'd have to do
If they'd pass in with the chosen few;
I've marked their path of duty clear
Laid out the plan for their whole career
I've talked and talked to'em loud and long,
For my lungs are good, and my voice IS
strong
So. good ST. Peter, you'll clearly see
The gate of heaven is open for me;
My old man. regret to say,
Hasn't walked in exactly the narrow way,
lie smokes and he swears and grave faults
he's got,
And don't know whether he'll pass or not.
But o, St. Peter, love him SO.
To the pleasures OF heaven please let him go
I've done enough, saint We been,
Won't that atone1 Can't you let him in
BY my grim gospel know It's 50
That the unrepentant must try below
But isn't there some way you can see
That he may enter who's dear to me-
Its narrow gospel by which pray,
But the chosen expect to find some way
OF coaxing, or fooling, or bribing you,
So that their relations can amble through
Ard say, St. Peter, it seems to me
This gate isn't kept as it ought to be,
You ought to stand right by the opening
there,
And never sit down in that easy char.
And say, ST. Peter. my sight is dimmed,
But don't like the way your whiskers are
trimmed,
They're cut too wide, and outward toss,
They'd look better narrow, cut straight across.
Ill 10 m win
SO open. St, Peter, and we'll pass in -
St. Peter sat quiet and stroked his staff,
But, in spite of his office, he had to laugh.
Then said with fiery CLEAN in his eye;
"Who's tending this gateway-you or p
And then he arose in his stature tall,
And pressed button upon the wall,
And said to an imp, who came all aglow,
Escort this woman to the regions below
The man stood still as piece Of Stone
Stood sadly, gloomy there alone,
A lifelong, settled idea he had
That his wife was good and he was bad;
He thought if the woman went down below
That he would cert iinely have to go
That if she went TO the regions dim
There wasn't ghost Of show for him.
Slowly he turned, by habit bent.
To follow wherever the woman went.
St. Peter. standing on duty there,
Observed that tie top of his head was bear.
He called the gentleman back. and said:
"Friend, how long have you been wed?'
Thirty years. with heavy sigh,
And then he thoughtfully add, "Why?'
ST. Peter was silent. With head bent
down,
He raised his hand and scratched his crown
Then, seeming different thought to take,
Slowly, half to himself he spake
Thirty years with that woman there
No wonder the man hasn't any hair
Swearing is wicked smokes not good.
He smoked and swore-I should think he
would.
Thirty years with that tc ngue so sharp
OIL Angel Gabriel Give him harp
A jewelled harp with golden string
Good sir, pass in where the angels sing
Gabriel give him seat alone
One with cushion-up near the throne
Call up some angels to play their best
Let him enjoy the music--and rest
See that on the finest Ambrosia he feeds,
He's had about all the hell he needs.
1t isn't hardly the thing to do
To roast him on earth and the future too
They gave him harp with golden strings,
A glittering robe and pair OF wings.
And he said as he entered the Realm OF Day;
"Well, this beats cucumbers, anyway
And so the scriptures had come to pass
"Tbat last shall be first, and the first shall be