Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-10-20
Or Money
CheerfuIIy
Refunded"


you say in your advertisements"
said the man who had laid a pack
age on the counter that you 'guaran-
tee satisfaction or money cheerful
ly refunded"
Whats the matter?" asked the
head of the department, as frown
overspread his face.
Come, now, you're not looking
bit cheerful. bought a shirt here
day before yesterday, and find that
it is not satisfactory. 1 was told"
you will have to see the clerk
who sold you the shirt"
will he refund the money!"
"If he wishes to do SO, he can"
"Ah, over there he is. Here, my
friend, do you remember selling this
shirt day before yesterday? You told
me it was"
Il don't think I sold you the shirt.
I never saw you before"
Eyes, you did. You sold me this
shirt and guaranteed that it"
mo, you are mistaken. never
guarantee anything"
"You don't, Ell, Well, you adver-
tise that you guarantee satisfaction
or money cheerfully refunded. Here.
Look at this paper. This is your 'ad'
isn't it?"
'This is today's paper. 1t hasn't
anything to do with day before yes
terday."
where's the proprietor OF this
store?"
You'll find him back In the Office"
After he had waited around for
nearly an hour the man with the
shirt succeeded in intercepting the
proprietor as he was trying to slip
out to luncheon.
You advertised that the money is
cheerfully returned when the goods
you sell are not satisfactory"
81 must ask you to talk to the
clerk you bought the goods from.
don't know anything about this mat
ter"
II have talked to the clerk, and
he says you are the only man who
cheerfully returns money. This
shirt"
You will have to excuse me- I'm
in hurry. Go to the clerk"
I'm in hurry, too I've wasted a
lot of valuable time here now, and
l want to get this matter straight
ened out The clerk says he doesn't
do the guaranteeing and can't, there
fore, cheerfully refund. The head of
the department looked unhappy when
l asked him if he would cneerfully
refund, and now I find that you are
not inclined to be cheerful when |
ask you to return my money"
you are insulting, sir. / don't
wish to have any further argument
with YOU. Mr.. Walker, will you please
step this way. Did you sell this man
a shirt?"
II don't remember him at ALL"
Here" said the man who wanted
his money cheerfullly refunded, as
he tore the wrapper from the shirt,
JOU NoII oCC IIldG CIlS SpillS lIOIl
your stock, can't your"
well, what's the matter with it.,
any way?" asked the proprietor.
1T isn't satisfactory, that's all
You advertise that you cheerfully re-
fund money when goods are not sat
isfactory. Why should it be neces-
sary to have all this argument? The
shirt is not satisfactory. l want my
money back. Now, will you cheerful
ly refund it?"
Take this order to the cashier"
said the proprietor as he permitted
look of disgust that was not un-
mixed with anger to overspread his
countenance, land your dollar and a
half will be returned to you"
But are you cheerful? l don't
want the money unless you can be
cheerful when you return it. l could
wear the shirt if necessary, you
know. Still, thought that if it would
make you cheerful to return the
money because the goods you sold
me did not give satisfaction, l ought
to"
Say, are you crazy?"
mo; I am an altruist. / believe
in spreading cheer wherever I may.
When l read your advertisement /
came here and purposely bought a
shirt that was two sizes too large
for me, so that l might bring 1t
back and give you chance to cheer
fully return my money. | think ev-
cry man owes it to his fellow men
to make them cheerful whenever and
however he may. see that you are
not inclined to be cheerful, and I am
sorry. l will, therefore, keep the
shirt and bid you good day"
That man ought to be looked af-
ter by the police" said the head Of
the shirt department
Hes as mad as a March hare"
said Mr.. Walker, the clerk.
Il believe" unused the proprietor.
"I'll take that word 'cheerfully' out
of my advertisement. There's no
knowing what that crank's next idea
may be."-Chicago Record Herald.
THE MIDDLE AGED MAN.