The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
TAFT PITIES COL. MARSHAL
Loses Sleep and, He Hopes, Flesh
Over HOrsemanship Tests.
Thinks 1t Unfair he should Have
Anything to Decide About Heavy
weight Army officers.

the Merchant of Menace a tragedy
of error, by NJ Avoirdupois. one of the re-
cent French dramatists, is In course OF
rehearsal at the War Department
The principal role, that Of the villain.
Is taken by Secretary Taft. who admits
to weighing 290 pounds. while his fair
young rival. Lieut.. Col Marshal L. S.
Engineer Corps. on duty in charge Of
government works. Ambrose Channel.
n. Y. the latest man in the United
states army. enacts. as far as possible.
and with as much grace as his 1876
pounds admit. the enthralling role of
Little Eva"
Enter Col Marshal. white. perspiring.
and terribly excited
a horse! a horse! My kingdom for
a horse-no l don't mean my kingdom,
I mean my salary for a horse" he
shouts.
a horse, your coIonelship? Behold.
here are many of Uncle Sans finest
Arabian steeds. Wilt not try oneT'
entreats a young lieutenant standing
as near as he dares.
Are thou not crazy with the heat
from the thought OF this afternoons
ferocious test. that thou thinkest l
could ride a horse Of such an under
size?' Quoths the unhappy colonel.
What / needest, thou poor young fell
low, is a horse nobly made, OF gigantic
size, that will safely bear these mighty
pounds OF mine up hill and down dale"'
"A horse. a horse. my" whereupon
the gallery gods cheer enthusiastically,
and the mad prince OF Denmark is led
away TO the plaintive tune of IT'S
Better 10 Have Loved and Lost. Than
Never 10 Have Loved At All"
All Of which tragic comedy was made
possible by the recent order Of Presl-
dent Roosevelt. which put the line Off
GERS Of the United States army through
a course of sprouts as TO their ability
to ride a horse.
During the last test Col Marshal. and
indeed. all the officers OF the quarter
masters department. searched through
the government stables, and every stable
in town was included in the canvass, for
a horse large enough and strong enough
to carry the 336 pounds of flesh belonging
to the portly frame Of Col. Marshal.
But no such horse was forthcoming. Col.
Marshal insisted that he was ready and
able TO stand the endurance test about
TO take place. and that If the horse could
not be provided the fault was not his.
But the retiring board thought differently,
and the doughty colonel was slated for
retirement by the board.
But the pity Of IL all IS yet 10 be re-
lated. Secretary Taft, who weighs only
forty-six pounds less than Col. Marshal,
viii have to decide the fate of the latter.
And Secretary Taft is much puzzled and
worried about the matter. In fact, he told
a number of newspaper men last night
that he felt real bad about it, and that
he had actually lost sleep. and, he hoped,
flesh, over the affair.
Why" he said, it is manifestly unfair
that I should be called upon to decide this
thing, What am I, eonfessing to a weight
OF go pounds, that I should dlsqualify
brother officer because he has the au-
dacity to weigh 3S6? Frankly it's a Job
I don't at all relish
One Of the corps Of correspondents,
thinking TO help Secretary Taft out of
the difficulty, said:
We'll, Mr.. Secretary, Why don't you
lend Col. Marshal your Lorse?"
The humorous twinkle in the Secretary's
eye was worth seeing.
Young man." he replied, with great
deal Of solennity. God was good to that
horse. Two months ago when my charger
was killed by lightning striking horse and
barn at Falls Church, I felt mighty bad
about the matter. But I see the justice Of
it now. Why, just think what that horse
escaped"
The intense feeling expressed in the
tones of the Secretary's voice caused the
TO know that their inter-
view for the day was over, and they fled
silently and sympathetically out But one,
more venturesome than the rest, stopped
and listened minute before he left. This
is what he heard the Secretary saying
softly to himself:
The quality Of mercy is not strained
1t dTpppeth as the gentle dew from heaven
Upon the place beneath; it is twice blessed;
II hlesseth him who gives and him that takes;
lis mightiest in the mightiest
And then the reporter softly closed the
door.