Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-01-24
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lies engaged to a widow" "How
did he meet herr" "He did not meet
her. She overlook him" ."-Philadelph
Inquirer.
When bird can sing and won't"
YES" SIT isn't half the trouble as
a bird that can't sing and will."-Bal.
timore American.
"One woman" remarked the mere
man, "is just as good as another--if
not better" And one man." rejoined
the fair widow, 'is just as bad as an
other-lf not worse Chicago News.
Where have you been, Sam?" Use
been up to ma two ears in work, sah."
"Up to your two ears in work." Yes,
sah." What doing, Sam?" "Eatin'
4 watahmellion, sab !"-Yonkers States
nan.
Tommy-Ma, baby is naughty. He
cried because l wouldn't give him any
of my cake. Mammals his own cake
finished? Tommy-Yes, ma; and he
cried while l was eating that, too =
Punch.
Don't l give you all the money you
need?" her husband complained. YES"
she replied, "but you told me before
we were married that you would give
me all l wanted. d."-Chlcago Record
Uerald.
"You seem to find that book very in.
teresting," said Mrs. Henpeck. YES"
replied Henry, "lt's delightful. I've
glanced at the ending, and the hero and
heroine don't get married after all."-
Washington Herald.
Miss Kreech-Some authorities be
lleve that the practice Of singing will
keep person from getting consump-
ton. Mr.. Knox.-Yes, but most au-
thorities believe in 'the greatest good
to the greatest number. r."-Philadelphia
Press.
y Rural Citizen Ito son engaged in
strange exercises) )-JabeZ, what in tar
nation be yer tryin' t. do? His Son
Its that thar correspondence school,
dad. l got a letter from the sopho-
mores yestiddy tellln' me to haze
m'self.-Puck.
"Who Is this fellow Rush you spoke
Off" "Oh, he's well-known chauf-
feur." "a well-known chauffeur?"
'That's what said" "Why, l never
heard of him. "Well, you would If
you were court clerk like -
Yonkers Statesman.
Gracious! my dear" said the first
society belle, II do hope you're not i'll /;
you look so much older tonight" I'm
quite well, thank you, dear" replied the
other, land you-how wonderfully i'm
proved you are! You look positively
young."-Philadelphia Press.
Casual Caller Ito one next him)-l
was introduced to that squnt-eyed, red
haired woman over there as Mrs. Some
body or other. Don't you think the
man was an idiot that married her?
Next One (meekly)-I can't just say.
I'm the man.-Baltimore American.
! You enjoy going to the theater"
"Yes," answered Mr.. Meekton. "But
you don't care much for musical
plays?" mo. What enjoy is to take
Henrietta where there is whole lot
Of conversation going on in which she
can't say word. New York Tribune.
"Tomkins has got more nerve than
any man l ever met" "What now?"
He came over to my place yesterday
to borrow my gun, saying that he want
ed to kill dog that kept him awake
nights" "Well what of it?' "It was
my dog he killed" Milwaukee Senti-
pel
Does your honor wish to charge the
Jury?" asked the legal light, when all
the evidence was in. NO I guess
not" replied the Judge. 81 never
charge 'em anything. These fellows
aon't know much, any way, an let 'em
have all they can make."-Harper's
Weekly.
"Do you think" asked the sweet
girls mother, that Mr.. wilkins is Sc
rlous" SERIOUS? Ma, he's worse
than that. He stayed here till nearly |
12 o'clock last night, and any one who
had studied his face might has thought |
he was sitting up with corpse."-Ch
cago Record Herald.
Father wish you'd invite that |
young man Of yours up here tomorrow
night. Daughter (surprised at the re-
quest)-Why, father, l thought you
said you had no use for him? Father
So did, last summer. But tomorrow
I'm going to put up the stove.-Detroit
Free Press.
what does your father do to earn
his living" asked a New York princi-
pal Of pupil who was being admitted.
"Please, ma'am, he doesn't live with
us. mamma srlDpOrts me-" "Well then