davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
PrObab BILE.

81 sometimes think" said Dudley,
that it would be interesting to trace
the origin Of some of the common
phrases of the day. For instance,
wonder who originated the expression,
1t never rains but 1t pours.
Every likely" suggested Kidder, at
was Noah"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20

Wareham Long-How near did ye ever
come to bein' rich?
Tuffold Knutt-Well, l wuz next thing
to q millionaire wunst Me an ole Nun
toburn happened to go on toot the same
night, an they put US in adjoinin' cells
at the p'lice station"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
The Problem.

do you think it is as easy to make
/ fortune as it used to be-" asked the
ambitious youth.
Easier" answered Senator Sor-
ghum. "The problem Is to do it in
such a way that your friends will con-
tinue to speak to Washington
Efor
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
Shifting the Burden.

"When l started in business" said
Mr.. Dustin Stax, renectively II re-
solved never to tell an untruth."
And you kept your word?"
"Yes. Whenever l had any delicate
business Of that sort on hand l hired
an expert. w Stor
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
A ia uiuPr.

Marion--I showed papa those verses
Sou wrote me, and he seemed pleased
Harry--He did?
Marion--Yes. He said he was glad
to see you were not poet.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
Not in the Market

when 1 60 into politics, I am GO
ing to hire out my brains to the best
paying side"
But when people hire brains they
want furnished thoughts; not empty
fats" s."-Baltimore American.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
Rare Bird.

II admire that parrot Of yours" re-
marked the visitor rising to take his de-
parture. ITS the most sensible bird I've
seen for long time"
'Why, he hasn't uttered a single word
since you came in," said the owner of the
parrot.
Il know it. That's why l admire
hin, -
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
The proDer Fee.

"What do | get for this stuntT ask
ed the vain. but execrable, amateur.
''If l were police magistrate" an
swered the manager, you would get
80 days; but. as am not, you'll simply
get out"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
The Holy FIy.

Helen was watching some flies on
the window pane, when she called to
her mother: Mamma. come and see
If this is the bosom fly"
THE bosom fly, child! What kind
of a fly is that?"
"Oh, the one they sung about in
church last Sunday-'Let me to thy
bosom hv.'"-The Circle.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
wight He Worse.

Mamma-"Your oyercoat will ever
fit you this winter"
Bobby-"I know it won't, mamma,
but my skates will; so don't let's
worry. Puck.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20

Il see that Friday comes on the 18th
this week. Doesn't it make you feed
creepy"
Me? I'm not superstitious. Fri
day is not the only day on which un-
lucky things happen"
But all the worst things happen on
Friday"
No, they don't l was married on
Tuesday. Plain Dealer.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
Pessimistic View.

Life" remarked tie optim!st, "is
made up of sunshine and sorrow"
yes" rejoined the pessimist, but
the trouble is there are about nine
shadows to one snnshiro'
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
Epftaph.

Traveller pause and drop tear
For Timothy Squiggs, who once dwelt
here.
He vanished from our mortal sight
When he thawed a can of dynamite.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
Oo.y One "BROMO oUyNINE. /"

That is LAXAT We BROMO QUININE Look
for the signature of f. W. GROVE. Used the
World over to cure Cold in One Day. 25c.
The production of alcohol in France
during the season of 1905-l0O6 is esti-
mated at 70,292017 gallons. OF this
great quantity 81 per cent was indus
trial alcohol.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
PILES CURED IN s TO IA DAYS.
One Exception,

PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure an,
ease OF Itching, Blind. Gleeding or Protrudinl
lies in to IA days or money refunded. soc.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20

r.Yo St. vitus' Dance ana all Nervous Diseases
permanently cured by DR.. Kllnes Great
Nerve Restorer. Send for FREE 80 trial bottl- and
treatise. Or. r. II. Kline, Id. 93l arch St. Phiia Pa
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20

success Of Peruna viii continue to find
fault. But we are determined to give
such people no just complaint.
PERUNA IS A GREAT MEDICINE
It has become household word in
millions of homes. Our faith in the
remedy is stronger than ever. Every
wear we expect TO establish new plants
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20

Mo hers will find Mrs. winslow's Soothing
Syrup the b. ct remedy to use fox their children
during the teething period.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
u Cures While You Walk.

Aliens Foot-Ease is a certain cure for hot.
sweaIlng, callus, and swollen, aching feet. Sold
~ bstitute. Trial package FREE. Address
allen S. olmsted, lie Roy, \. Y.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
RHEUMATISM
GAN NOT BE RUBBED AWAY

perfectly rub that hurts when the muscles
joints and bones throbb ad chn with the pains of
Rheumatism the sufferer the nuent bottle other
external application effort get relief from the disease producing
the flesh Such will quiet the
the real because
located
skin dp rooted and grounded the blood and only be
reached constitutional treaenIT CANNOT BE RUBBED AWAY
acid the blood brought about
in the Of refuse which the natural
Kidneys, failed This
matter coming different acids of the body
uric acid which absorbed into the blood and distributed to all parts the
the The aches and
only and though they be scattered relieved for time
by surface they will at the cold
dampness attack indigestion other ireuaity Rheuma
while the circulation saturated
with irritating uric acid poison The disease will shift
joint settling the
swelling such terrible pains
often shattered the health undermined and perhaps the patient becomes
thoroughly cleans the blood
eutrang acids exping foreign
and nvigoaes blood that instead
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20
The Turning of the Worm.

The Turning of the Worm.
Mollie-I wish you were more like
Mr.. Simpson.
Coddle-My dear, II. I were more like
Mr.. Simpson, l should have married a
woman more like Mrs Simpson.-St.
Louis Post -niCpntoh
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20

Has made a life study of
roots and herbs, and in that
study discovered and Is CIV
ing to the world his wonder.
fnl sanaIiaa
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20

OF weak, Sour Stream, constantly Deposit
ing acrid and corrosive matter in the mus
cles, nerves, joints and bones, t1lebody is fed
and nourished by rich, Notwithstanding
blood which completely and permanently
cures Rheumatism. S. S. S.. is composed
of both purifying and tonic properties-
just what is needed in every case of Rheu-
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-02-20

at It potash akal other mineral ngdent but
healing herbs
bark suffering from Rheumatism do not waste valuable time
trying to rub blood disease but begin the use Ct s. s. S. and write
physicians will information
advice ofchage rheumatism.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
One Dollar for Every Foot.

Some years ago a woman was re
turning late at night from a social
function took to the tracks of the Old
Colony railroad as the shortest way
home. and in crossing a trestle above
a country road made a misstep, fell
through the timbers and broke her
neck, relates the Boston Globe.
The next day her husband called
upon the superintendent and stated
that he thought he was entitled to
some compensation for the loss Of his
wife. as she was a hard worker and
assisted materially in meeting the do
nestle expenses.
she was trespassing,' replied the
superintendent, which relieves the
company from all responsibility
q know it" said the nan but she
was a good woman about the house
and | hardly know what am going to
do without her"
We'll, upon what basis will you
settler"
she fell how many feet?"
about -, l should say"
"Do you think a dollar a foot is too
much?'
The superintendent nearly fell from
his seat. but upon recovering he paid
The man So, which he charged to MS
own account, as he felt that the ex'
perience was we'll worth the price.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
STRUNG ON CABLES
.s, METHOD OF SUPPORTING
TEMPORARY TRACK.
.,,ivs Engineers Found Kew Way
Making a Fill Across Marsh
Expense Saved by the
Operation.

An interesting use of a galloway
supuort a temporary track used in
s,oting a fill across a marsh is de-
po,ibed in Engineering News New
york October 100. The writer notes
moi although the suspended galloway
,,,tb travelling bucket is a standard
method Of making long, inaccessible
-ailway fills, a galloway has rarely
haon used as the framework on which
- lay a track for the carrying Of
dnmn cars. The railroad on which
tbis method was used in two places
:. tbe Lake Shore & Pittsburg rail
road. now under construction from
cleveland to Pittsburg. We read:
although the same general princi-
rle was utilized in each n of these
EXAMPLES. the local conditions were
dlnerent and the details of construc-
tion were Independently solved. The
srst was made over a deep marsh OF
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11

up the pathway. stopping at the gate
The future occupant of her home. no
doubt. It would do to let
them witness her grief: she must
brush the tears away. She bent her
face closer over the worn coat she
was mending. She heard the soft
rustic of garments. while the odor
of yiolets came to her.
The woman must be rich to wear
such beautiful clothes What could
she want with the farm? She al
most hated her. Was she not taking
the roof from over their heads?
Well. now, that's what I call a gen
erous offer
1t was the agent who spoke, bland
and smiling.
What do you say to that Mrs.
Spaulding?" he went on. The lady
says you may remain for awhile: until
autumn. 1t viii give you time to
look about and"
we don't want to remain broke
in old John Spaulding. seated in the
chimney corner. with hands hardened
by toll folded in a helpless sort OF
fashion across his knee. No, no,
he muttered. I'VE can't axe fayors.
leastwise from strangers. Can we.
Lisbia2'
His wife shook her head sadly.
ITS a very kind ofer," she said.
but we cannot accept it"
You cannot take it?" asked a
sweet musical voice. Not even from?
Don't you know me. mother?"
Not Tildywinks?
She stood before them. beautiful
and smiling. 1t was she who had
purchased the old home. The bread
cast upon the waters had indeed come
back
Tell me. Tidy, darling. asked
the elder woman, looking at her
through tears of JOY. you are not an
actress? You don't sing in
only sacred music. mother" she
answered. knowing your views on
the subject, l have respected them.
In the world Of music l am known
1 as"
She whispered a name whose fame
had reached even that quiet little ham
let.
Then you are Mademoiselle-"
She silenced the lips with a kiss.
ITO the world. yes; but to you let me
always be plain TiIdywinks."
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
AT THE ECONOMICAL HOUSE.

we have to be awful economical
down at our house." said the boy,
there's such a big family"
"Yes?" inquiringly.
That's so, for fairI Ny biggest
brother is a bartender, and of curse
has to wear a white coat; so ma buys
a whole suit for him, says wearing
the overalls saves his pants. When
they've been washed a few times, of
course they don't look nice enough for
a bartender, so ma gets him new ones
and hands yer the others to Bill. Bill
works in a meat market"
Gets two wears out Of them that
way, eh?"
Then dads a painter; when the
white suit gets too dirty for Bill, dad
wears it as long as he can to paint
it. Course, in time they get pretty
well caked up with paint; then ma
uses 'em for kindling the fire, and be
ing soaked with paint they burn fine
so that's the end of them? Well
you certainly do"
NO! Ma uses them again along
with the wood ashes to make soft soar
Of"
you don't say!"
yep! After that she pours the soaI
suds on the back garden. Best thing
in the world, she says, to make things
grow."-Puck.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
rBS REWhRn CT poLlrE4Ess.
-~nSlson,an's Object Lesson That
F4led Of Desired E,.eet.

PRESIDENT Hasahan of The Illinois
central AT a dinner in New York com.
pared ioreign w.th LONE railroads
and another thing" he said. our
iail"ay servants are more courteous
nan lorsiza oaes Foreign porters and
ticket sellers are a very crusty lot.
An American ana a Briton we're
once riGiAs up to London in a first
class carriage. The American. at a
esFea.h staten, leaned out and said
70 the porter on the platform:
what station is this, brother?'
birmingham, Of course. said the
porter in a surly tone. Can't you see
the Eame posted up2'
The American, after drawing In
MS head, said to the Englishman:
Now that was a piece # dis
courtesy you wouldn't meet with in
America. An American porter would
have answered me with polished po-
likeness.
Inc Englishman smiled.
An, but it was your " fault,
tlat reDun, he said. Pardon me for
mentioning it, but our ann was
too bluff, too rough-and-ready The por-
ter took you for a-er-a bounder.
Now, at the mex station I will myself
ask a porter some question, and I'll
ask it in the gracious, c-ondescending
way we do such things over here. l
warrant you I'll receive the most cour-
teous of answers
All right, said the American
shortly, a little hurt at having been
mistaken for a bounder.
Well, at the next station, the car
riage drew up near a porter, and the
Englishman-he was a typical, rotund,
rosy old John Bull-put his head out
of the window, showed all his false
teeth in a glittering smile, and purred;
Porter, would you kindly tell me
the name of this station?'
THE porter glanced up, and then, al
he slouched off, called back over his
shoulder:
"Ah, shut tina trap, tina bacon-faceC
old buffer! Put tina daft fat head il
before l knock it off for thee"
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11

Bread Upon the Waters
By Kate Wallace Clements :
BY Kate Wallace Clements
ccopyrght)

would bring sufficient money to pur-
chase the farm. No need then for IA
Their to toll and mother to worry. It
seemed the path Of duty
The little white bed with the COW
erlet u~ndisturbed told its own story
with the tesr-stained note pinned on
the dressing S
I'm going away" it read, TO study
music and have my voice cultivated
When I've grown rich and famous. ]
viii come back. Not till then. For
give me and good-by. Tidy.
Gone cried the frantic mother;
gone to become an actress.
To the mind Of these simple
try folk her future career was looked
upon in the light Of a disgrace. Moth
.ag appeared quite so appalling as
the life Of an actress. InYoluntarily
they associated it with scant apparel
and rouged face. She was dead to
them!
Ten years passed, bringing naught
but adversely TO John S%paulding- The
crops had failed, many of his choicest
cattle had died. Poverty had come
to them, grim, dire poverty
Better sell the place out before it
would go TO rack and ruin. OH how
they loathed to part with it, the roof
that had sheltered them for many
years. Still. the creditors must be ap-
peased.
She promised to come back some
day" she murmured. The tears fell
fast and thick on Mrs. S~paulding's
faded gown. she viii find only
strangers here" she said, bitterly.
A letter had come from the agent
that week, stating that a purchaser
had been found. He, the agent, would
run down with the party toward the
close of the week, and now-whyl il
was Thursday. Surely this was the
close Of the week.
IF Tidy were only here" She
chung to the strange name through al
these years. Yes, if the child were
here she might comfort her.
Poor old SOUL Through her tear
dimmed eyes she saw a carriage drive
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
Annrentlce schools.

The system of apprentice schools
of the New York Central lines Is CON
sidered by railroad men to be the
o important departure ever instt
tinted by the motive power department
of any railroad system in the United
tat 1t will not only improve labor
conditions and add efficiency to me-
chanics. craftsmen, master mechanics
and officials of the operating depart,
mant hut it is expected to solve the
yexing question of strikes. 1t has
been found. too, that since the
schools were established there has
been much less spoiled work in the
shops and the men take greater care
There are now nine schools on the
system, $50 apprentices being enrolled
as pupils.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
Hill Made Money for Friend.

A good story about James j. Hill
was told to a group of his friends by
Norman w. Kittson, a man who was
years ahead of Hill in the Red River
country, and who, to use his own ex-
preston, packed my kit from La
Cross to Winnipeg and back" This
was a distance of about 900 miles, and
Kittson went on foot and traded in
furs all along the route with the In.
dians. He was another wonderful man
of the early west. Kittson became
rich, as riches went, when Hill was a
clerk in a steamboat Office in st. Paul.
When Hill began his great career by
buying a railroad and extending it
northward, he interested Kittson in
his enterprises. Hill needed credit,
and Kittson allowed him to use his
name.
Il knew" said Kittson, that I had
Endorsed more paper than I was
worth; but I had confidence in him
most of the time. Then l got scared
and felt that everything was gone, and
that it didn't make any difference, and
l signed anything that Hill brought
1t is almost unnecessary to say thai
the smash never came; that Hill used
Kittson's name with good effect in the
east. where he was reputed a mucf
Weather man than he really was; anC
also that Kittson had a great dea
more when he closed up with Hill
than when they first began bushes:
together.-The Sunday Magazine.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
PROVED Both WAYS.

Did you see where the pure food
government experts are going to take
meat kept in storage nine years and
try it on a dog?'
That's a good idea, as whether it
kills the dog or not, in either case it is
bound to be a bowling success."-Bsl
timore American.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
Doing Fairly Well.

How are o getting along with
your new cook, old MANI"
"As well as can be expected. She
doesn't like our automobile very well
and is inclined to kick because the
bath tub in her room isn't onyx, but
outside of that she's all right"-MiL
waukee Sentinel.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
Another Disaster.

you look worried. What's the mat
ter?"
"Oh, we're all upset at our house.
There's been another drop in copper"
But 1 thought you eve specu-
lated"
Il don't. Our cook let the coffee pot
fall on her foot, and she has had to
go to the hospital."-Chicago Record
Herald.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
His sian Of Sanity.

She-They say of persons stricken
with insanity about one-third re-
cover.
He-Well, I guess that's right l
don't seem to care for that Higgins
girl I was engaged to any more!-
Yonkers Statesman.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
undaunted.
to you?

"And now, sir" the fercelooking pi-
rates blithely informed him, I'VE are
going to maroon you on a desert is
land in mid-ocean. We calculate that
YOU will starve to death in just about
1--WE days, OF a week at the out
side"
But so far from being daunted by
their savage words, their prisoner only
smiled scornfully. He had in his in
side pocket a complete Marconi wire
less telegraph apparatus!
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
New Answers to Old QUESTIONS.

Applicants this a comfortable
fat?
Caretaker-Hardly. The oom will
look even smaller when the furniture
gets in, the neighborhood is noisy, it
is a long walk to the Tube, and the
fiat is always very hot in summer
and chilly in winter.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
EaiIure.

Have all of your investments been
successful"
Not all. It cost me $500 last sum
mer to send my daughter away, and
it's nearly two months now since
we've heard a word from the man she
became engaged to. l guess that one
was a failure, all right."-Detroit Free
Press.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
Worlds LONGEST Brjdoe.

iae longest bridge in the world is
Sahgong. China. 1t extends five
u a quarter miles over an area of
boo FELLOW sea, and is supported by
wv huge stone arches.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
Needs Of eraek a.iIro.ds

Tho most urgent needs of
llreeee is the linking up of its rail
system with the rest of Europe.
Ome progress toward this end was
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
Railroad Electrified.

The electrifcation of the West
shore road from Syracuse to Utica, a
stretch of "A miles. has just been COM
pleted.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11

Whipper-Why, my dear fellow. it's
as plain as day. Anybody of common
sense a see through it, don't you
know.
Snapper-Indeed! Who explained it
to you?
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
Just as Good.

Yes. she had TO sell her auto
Expenses she must curb;
Yet when she walks upon the street
Her carriage is superb.
Chicago News.
The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-02-11
shivery.

on with the old,
On with the new,
It's much too cold.
For the peek-a-boo,
Detroit Free Press.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1908-06-11
Man Lives IS Years in Gaze.

Sioux City, Ia, June S.-Aiter liv-
ing for thirty.flve years in a wire
cage, playing with children's toys
and CARRIED as a little girl in knee
length skirts, Christian GeIt, aged 40
years, was removed to the county
poor farm.
The case Is one OF the most pitiiul
ever encountered by an Iowa insan,
ity commission. All his life the man
has been cared for by his brother,
Ole Gelt, a working.man, who did
the best he could to maintain his
brother and keep him from becoming
public charge.
Gelt's appearance Is uncsnny.
Dwaried and with muscle and tissue
shriveled up from lack OF exercise,
with complexion yellow from lack Of
exposure to the sun, the man bears
more resemblance to a strange AMI.
NAL than human being.
The Butler weekly times. (Butler, Mo.) 1881-1918, 1908-06-11
Saves Son From a RattIer's
Bite.

San Antonio, Texas, June S.-By
prompt action Antonio Borizeda
saved the life OF his son, Godino, u
IL year old boy, who was bitten by
a rattlesnake near here. The Bori.
zeda family, consisting OF the father,
mother and two children, were driv.
ing into the city, when the boy left
the wagon to get a switch from a
clump OF mesquite and was struck
on the foot by the rattlesnske. The
father cut an incision In the boys
foot and sucked the poison from the
wound. He then dosed she lad with
whisky and hurried him to the city
hospital where the doctors had little
difficulty In bringing hin around
safely Ever since ttuppu Ettan0r
saved the lie OF King Edward by this
method many have scoffed at It but
there are numerous instances like
this where prompt action removes
the poison from the blood by suck
ing It out without any danger to the
person 80 doing.