davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
AYHIWKER JOTS

Salina is to have a mitten factory.
And this is leap year.
The Hutchinson News can not un-
derstand why the Socialists did not
choose April 1 instead of April q for
their convention.
Abilene's library has established a
story hour for children once a week.
1t is increasing the number OF the
youthful patrons of the library quite
apprectably.
A thief visited the Mcpherson
Presbyterian church the other night.
rified the birthday box containing Sc
and took a bicycle that had been left
in the vestibule.
AS proof that spring has arrived.
Emporia points to the fact that d. A.
Ellsworth is writing verses again; ana
out in Haskell county the horsesh oe
pitching contests have been resumed.
The Sterling Journal aff1rms that
baling snow with hay baler and stor-
ing it for summer use is now a sue
cessful operation. Surely not In Kan
sas this year, says Mark Cretcher.
Where's the snow?
Mack Gretchen, commenting on w.
E. Blackburn's assertion that Anna
Held has a forty-four bust and thir-
ty-nfne hip, remarks that Mr.. Black
burn sees unusually we'll for a man
who Is near-sighted.
The residents of a certain neighbor-
city council for relief from the bray
ing of certain nondescript animals.
The city council is undecided as to how
best to cope with the nocturnal music.
The editor of the Jamestown Opti-
mist was unable to attend the state
meeting Of the Democratic editors last
week, and he regrets that others will
never know just what the real Needs
of the Press are. He was to have
read paper on that subject.
w. Y Morgan "milled' with the
Democrats during the recent Demo-
cratic state convention in Hutchinson.
After sizing up the crowd Of Demo-
cratic enthusiasts Mr.. Morgan remark
ed to one OF the delegates: well, I'm
glad you fellows don't all live in Reno
county"
The Atchison Automobiles are loyal
to Jared Fox, and many of them be-
lieve that he could take his machine
and beat the army car to pieces. They
wanted him to point the way for the
army car to Leavenworth He went
to st. Joe in an hour and thirteen min
utes over rough roads. He returned
in an hour.
The Clay Center Times has invited
articles from the women who were
early settlers of Clay county. The
mems side Of early Kansas history has
been told to the verge of staleness, and
the Times thinks the women deserve
an inning. An article recently pub
lished in the Times. by the mother of
its editors, was on this subject, and
was very interesting.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

hard task to rout out the anarchists.
Probably it is, but the harder the task
the greater the energy that should be
displayed in its accomplishment. Moth
ing Of this sort Is really impossible to
men who have the right behind them
and the desire to see that it is done.
The anarchists in this country who are
not citizens should be deported to their
native heaths And the anarchists in
this country who are citizens should be
taught that free speech is not license
to incite the ignorant to high crimes
against the government and the guar
dams of its peace. II they are not will
ing to learn this lesson they should be
jailed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
GLOBE SIGHTS.

From the Atchison Globe.1
1t is better that people have good
habits than good laws.
No man accepts good advice until
1t becomes his own experience.
The man is q true optimist If he
can keep it up after he has lost his
No man or woman ever acknowl-
edged the true reason why they were
in love.
A woman never believes she is
healthy unless her complexion indi-
Gates it.
You will always find ten men ready
to talk where you will find one ready
to listen.
There is another fearful thing con-
nected with laziness: lazy people al
ways talk too much.
| 1t Is always well to remember that
| it is possible to be a fanatic about a
| number of things besides religion.
| This is an age of miracles: an
Atchison man thinks more of his
wife's relations than he does of his
own
| Probably the hardest kind of a per-
son to get along with is the one you
| can not tell anything to: He knows
| it all.
A man with a moustache looks
| pretty in the parlor, or on the street,
| but he Is at a disadvantage when he
| eats.
| The expression, piercing scream" is
| still in vogue among a certain class
| of reporters. Did anyone ever hear
one?
You hear every day of women who
| are "craZy to get married" You
| don't hear the same thing in regard to
| men.
1t is generally the negro who car
| ries the largest number of razors on
| his person who has the most scars on
his face.
| 1t is a mighty big world which all
| the people occupy. but the world in
which we as individuals live, is very
small. indeed.
The man who can keep a secret.
may be wise, but he is not half as
| wise as the man who doesn't have anv
secrets to keep.
Ask a woman to describe the ugIfest
dress she ever saw, and she will de-
| scribe the favorite garment of son,e
| woman she dislikes.
There are SO many large, fine loo1x-
ing men married to thin, little women.
and many large, handsome women
| married to scrawny little men.
The prodigal son story in the Bible
| to agree with the world nowadays
| should be changed to a prodigal
/ daughter and unwelcome son-in-law.
There are two kinds of Jokes that
are always funny" said a woman the
other day; those told by the man Won
work for: and those told by the man
lyou love-"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
HUM0R or THE DRY

the family)-Don't move. or ri shoot
Whar's your money hid?
Head of the Family (struck by a bright
dress. r
Burglar-That's all right III Just take
the dress. Chicago Tribune.
Whats the matter?'
Gracious! Has father done anything
50 desperate hat?''-washington Her
you earn. young n1anT'
mo; but my boss does."-Indianapolis
News.
No intelligent person pays any atten-
ton to ghosts" said the dogmatic per
Perhaps not" answered Miss Cayenne,
unless the ghost has been able to secure
an Introduction from some psychic re-
search society. "-Washington Star.
Don't you think a horseshoe Is sign
Not for me. Every burned horse
ever bet on wore shoes."-Judge.
don't think there's any danger in wearing
these .sSs cellulo oi combs, do your
your hair is too red" At which Simple
remark much to Hira1n's astonishment
In battle of tongues between man
| and wife, I find that woman can gener-
| ally hold her own"
Yes, know, but she never does"-
| st. Louis Times.
| Dyer-What do you call your machine
an automobile or a motor car?
Hartley-I call it either when It runs.
When it doesn't I can it other things
| Somerville Journal
| do you believe that man and woman
| should have equal rfghts?"
/ "Well-I used to, but since I've been
married don't dare to say so."-Ceve-
land Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

[F'rom the Philadelphia Record.1
A good deal may be lost at poker on
a bad deal.
Some men have nearly as many ups
and downs as their umbrellas
Things don't go exactly like clock
work for those who live on tick.
Where ignorance Is bliss it's folly to
know when you get the worst of it.
The festive tramp may be a regular
cut-up until he catches sight of a wood
pile.
About one man in a thousand can
lose his money and stiG keep his
friends.
The average girl will select a hus-
band with less care than she will Sc
lect ribbon.
Regret for our mistakes is only
practical when it prevents US from
making greater ones.
Guzzler-"I feel all bunged up this
morning" Wigwag-"You were GER
tainly barreled last night"
"a woman trying to conceal her
age" says the Cynical Bachelor. "al-
ways reminds me of an ostrich hiding
it's head in the sand"
Tommy (gazing at the heavens)-
Pop, are the angels back of the
stars?" Tommy's Pop-"Yes, my son.
especially in the theatrical business
He's the Oldest inhabitant. You
wouldn't take him to be "a, would
you?" Stranger-'T suppose the peo-
pie around here are so lazy that 1t
takes them a long time even to grow
old
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Most burglars make such a clean
sweep that they do not even leave be-
hind a clue.
Q 80
Many a girl can make good bread
but what she needs is some man to
supply the dough.
It's a peculiar thing, but most OF
the good shows come in Lent. And 1t
may be added that they are well pa
tronized.
q .
Husbands are justified in calling
their wives attention to the fact that
they are putting on too much sail, for
they have to furnish the wind.
= =
If 1t is good for girl never to
marry a man to reform him, 1t is far
better for her never to reform man
for some other girl to marry.
-
Some folks have such perfect ease
and self possession, and are so thor
oughly at home everywhere, that they
frequently make a friend feel like a
total stranger in his own house.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

suppose that you'll be content and &c
back to the planting suggested Ida.
you'll come with me-" agreed
Deering. II you won't, I'll settle
GOWN here, for I love you too much,
again."
you love me?" she asked wonder
ingly.
"of course" was the prompt re-
spouse. There isn't a man, woman
or child in Carsonville that don't
know that
You never told me-" she remind
ed. You wanted to marry me be-
cause needed some one to take care
of me-
Did I have to tell you THAR" he
asked in astonishment "I supposed
you knew"
"a woman likes to be told" ex-
planned Ida 1.-The next time you ask
a woman to marry you, begin by tell
ing her that you love her; not by ex-
planning that you want to keep her
out OF the poor house"
I love you said Derring prompt
ly. Now will you marry me? We
can be married tonight and start for
home by the midnight train. That will
get us In tomorrow just as the day n
done"
"As the day is done?" sighed Ida
happily.
For her the nightmare day of pri-
walton was done and a purple twi-
light Of peace was at hand. The
spring breeze was Still tainted with
her 1t was blowing across the apple
blossoms OF the orchards at home
copyrighted 1908 by NJ. M. Cunning
ham,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

[From the Philadelphia Record.1
Love Is seldom so blind that it can't
distinguish a dollar mark.
1t is better to share our joys than
our sorrows-and much easier.
The fellow who pawns his shoes
daren't even call his sole his own.
At any rate the automobile can
scarcely eliminate the dark horse from
politics.
Every cloud may have a silver lin
ing. but some people wouldn't be salts
fed until they had tried the acid test
Mrs. Buggins-"I saw a hat TODAY
that was a perfect dream" Mr.. Bug
gins-"But you know dreams seldom
come true
Many a young woman studying mu-
sic goes abroad to be finished when we
could just as we'll do 1t at home, either
with an automobile or an AK
Nell-"This is a speaking likeness
of Mrs. Talkalot" BeLe-"But her
chin seems to be blurred in the pic
ture." Nell-"Yes; suppose she wa.
talking at the time
wfgg-'They say he lost his foot in
a railroad accident" Wagg-"Yes.
the train stopped at a western eatin .
station for lunch. and in the hurry
sandwich dropped on his foot"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
THE DANGEROUS RODENT.

We don't know when rats first came
on the scene of action, but think 1t
altogether likely that they were among
the first to butt in. They probably ate
Adams boarded grain and gnawed
Ewes fine clothes-if the good woman
had any. and about which there Is
some dispute. We feel sure that there
were some in the ark and that they
worried poor old Noah not a little bit
while he was trying to find a good
place to land.
But however all that may be, we
may reasonably assume that they have
been with humanity all the while and
that the Chinese find them handy when
they are cooked and placed on the
table. But for all that they are gen.
orally looked upon as a nuisance to be
gotten rid of in the most thorough
manner that can be devised. Now
that it is settled that they are great
istributors of the bubonic plague If
not of other contagious or Infectious
diseases the desire to get rid of them
is becoming more universal.
But getting rid of them is the job
and the problem. They have habit
of multiplying rapidly and under all
sorts of conditions. They can find a
time to breed, a place to breed and a
means of subsistence. We can't stop
them from multiplying as long as
there are any of them to keep up the
business, so the only thing to do is to
kill them or otherwise rid the land
of them. But how is it to be done
We can not Danish them as st. Patrick
is reported to have banished the
snakes from Ireland, so of necessity
killing is the only remedy left US.
Traps will catch some Of them, and
cats will kill a few-when they choose
to do so. but sometimes we have
thought that the cats and the rats
were in partnership. Possibly that is
unjust to the cats.
Many and various are the poisons
exploited as being death on rats, but
most always the rats refuse to eat the
preparation and in most cases it is as
sure to kill anything else eating it as
it is to kill the rats. Now, however,
we are assured that a preparation has
been found which is not open to these
objections. 1t is asserted that the rats
greedily eat bait with this prepare
ton on it, and, what is of more i'm
portance, 1t is fatal to them but not
injurious to other domestic animals or
human beings. If this Is true and the
new poison is not too expensive we
may indulge the hope that man will in
time get the better of the rats. That
will be fine. RATS to your holes"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
IN A LITTLE WHITE

IN the hillsides lambs will gamboI,
IN a little while;
Down the lanes the cows will arnbIe
IN little while:
fragrant blossoms will be syvayine
IN the gentle breeze;
Lovers VIII go forth a-Maying.
In little while.
Robins will be blithely singing
In a little while;
Maids In hammocks will be swinging
r In a little while;
Consn Fellows will be rocking
Overladen boats:
Glib spellbinders will be flocling
Out to capture votes
In little while.
Bundle bees will gladly humble
In a little while;
Into pitchers flies will tumble
In a little while;
Passing people will be hearing
Golfers crying Fore"
wall street will be busy shearing
trusting lambs once more
In little while
All the woods will ring with eladness
In a little while;
PEOPLE will forget their sadness
In a little while;
loves will be serenely cooling
Kites will cleave the air;
Maddened mobs will be pursuing
EMPIRES here and there.
In little while
Chicago Record-Herald
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
"CR.AZY LUKES. -

Many years ago there went about
the streets of New York a man who
would talk about the making of a
tunnel under the Hudson river to let
the world directly into the island of
Manhattan. He saw the usefulness of
such a great work. His heart burned
to create something to make life
easier and better for the world.
They called him Crazy Luke
The rest of the world was sane, and
knew that this man had bats in his
belfry. Nobody but a lunatic would
think of such a thing as boring under
the Hudson and making a street
there. The water would break
through. The mud would fill it up.
1t would be. dark, anyhow. Pshawi
What was the use of talking of it.
So they took poor Cray Luke" and
put him in an insane asylum, where
he belonged.
But an idea cannot die even if it is
| launched by crazy man. Men who
| knew how to curb their enthusiasm
! took up the thought. The tunnel was
| made a sane project 1t was begun.
The water did break through. The
| mud filled it up, and it was dark in
there, and cold, and many lives were
| lost-but the crazy idea won. The
first of the series of great tubes was
completed and opened the other day
| and now the human Niagara will
pour through into New York, into
Long Island and into all the con-
| tiguous territory. New Jersey and
the whole west will follow where
! "Crazy Luke" led.
| The man who talked of the Aus
| tralian ballot was a Cray Luke. -
! But the secret ballot was introduce ed
| into this country and everyone be-
lieves in it now. So with the primary
law.
| Years ago there was a party OF
| Cray Lukes'' scattered throughout
ths country. They were pictured as
4 bewhiskered lunatics and contempt
| uously called Pops" Their repre-
| senta tives in congress could not get g
respectful hearing. They were "Sock.
less Simpsons" and "Whiskers PEI.
fers'' nd-and-why, they were the
absolute. Bedlamic, wind-jamming
loony limit. That's what they were
They were Pops" Why. thew were
actually in favor of curbing corpora
tons. Especially they demanded
railway commissions that would regu
late rates, and value the physica
properties of railways and contro
their bookkeeping and prevent tn,
| watering of stocks.
The average politician IN populisti,
regions meeting man of the othe
"old party would say, ST can tall
with a Democrat"-or a Republican
as the case might Debut - .
Pop" And the other man would sa,
: amen"
And now we find that the Populis
! tunnel has been opened long sine
/ into the old parties, and the "Craz,
Lukes" are all absorbed into the host
of the safe and sane. A guileful oil,
| Populist got the famous Ocala plat
! form adopted at a Republican conven
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

A saloon keeper of Port Huron. Mich.
served thirty days in Jail for a violation
of the law. There's nothing unusual in
this but on his release he gave a ban
quet to the judge who sentenced him,
the sheriff who kept him in Jail and a
few others. At the feast he expressed
TO them his hearty thanks for the good
that had been done him by his i'm
prisonment. He declared that during
MS confinement in jail he got all of the
alcohol out of his system. For this he
was grateful and he intends to be a
teetotaler from now on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

John F. Stevens, a former engineer
of the Panama canal, is out as candi-
date for the leadership Of the anvil
chorus. He Yields a hammer of i'm
mense proportions when he declares
that the big ditch will be a failure as
commerce will go by other routes even
after the canal is completed and in
operation. Is there anything to this
statement or is it merely case of sour
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

One of the real sensible moves in the
famous Thaw case that has been made
so far is the determination of Evelyn
Thaw to have her marriage to the no
torious Harry annulled on the ground
that he was insane at the time it was
contaminated. Little criticism can be
levied at her for her desire to sever the
marital ties but the same could not
be said if Thaw had made an effort to
throw her over
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

It is evidently the desire of Mr..
Stubs and his followers to do just
what he says another crowd of poll
ticians has been doing for years. That
is, control the election of United
States senators, state and county OFF,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
marry.

Cities in the Old World are growing
in size quite as fast as are some of the
large ones in this country. Berlin now
has a population of 100000 and is
larger than Chicago. Thirty years ago
Hamburg and Boston had about the
same sized populations. Now Hamburg
has a population of more than 100000
and this is a goodly number more than
Boston can claim.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press. !

[From the New York Press.1
A woman can love a man because
she thinks he loves her.
When girl will show a lot of a.
thusiasm for a man he isn't the one
useful thing about knowinr bon,
to cuss Is when you fall down on the
ice.
A man could feel that he cou1dn,+
afford even to smoke If the doctor
recommended it.
A satisfactory thing about b.v,-
your wife for partner at cards - 49,
can blame al your Door hands on kes.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

President Roosevelt is inimitable
when it comes to making bids for pop
ularity from all sorts and conditions of
people. He told the mothers in session
at Washington that they were a body
he would place even higher than the
veterans of the Civil war. For the sake
of the public treasury 1t is to be hoped
that this will not encourage the moth
ers of the land to organize and take
steps looking toward the getting of
Y7eDsiOns
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
grapes?

Ri. Rev. Charles Henry Cotton, bishop
of the Roman Catholic diocese of Buff
falo, has created something of sensa-
ton by a circular letter which he has
sent to the churches under his super
vision and in which he urges all un-
married women to pray for husbands.
He declares it to be the sacred duty OF
the greater part of the human race to
marry
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

A Chicago minister remarks that the
writers of problem plays are as bad as
the idle folks who seek to condone lux
ury and license. This puts 1sben and
Bernard Shaw in the class of "unde-
es;r offizaDS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

Senator McLaurin, of Mississippi.
must be given credit for holding some
original views. He declared the other
day that the acquisition of the Philip
pine Islands was one of the causes for
the recent financial disturbance.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

King Alphonso's reception at BARGE
Iona. the hotbed of the revolutionary
party in Spain, was of the kind to make
q monarch's heart glad. He was pelted
with roses instead of death-dealing
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

Something like a Scotch verdict is the
result of the investigations into the
Collinwood disaster. The authorities
declare that the loss of life was utterly
inexcusable but they are unable to
rlace the blame on any one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
GERS.

Active work has been started by the
committee of the Commercial club to
raise the $4,000 fund which is needed to
establish the county fair here this fall
Let everyone lend a hand by digging
deep into his pocket or writing out
check of good proportions.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

ton in Nebraska last year and 1t
sounded Rooseveltian and was re-
ceived with whoops. We find that the
late lamented "Sockless'' Simpson
and others were ahead of us. That's
all,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

If Dick Cooley signs few more play
ers there will be enough men on the
local team to organize a half dozen
mines and Topeka can have profess
aional league all of its own.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12

Word GENES from Washington that
HE government officials consider 1t
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-12
FULL LEASED WTRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PREss-

The State Journai is a member OF ene
Associated Press md receives the fun DAY
telegraph report OF that great COWS Or
Banization for the exclusive aftermoon
publication IN Topeks,
The news Is received in The state Jour
nal building over wires for this sole our-
poEe.