Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-22
ABOUT
HUSBANDS
Uncle Alexander Tollo Now to
Manage Thorn.

tened with interest. l was Interested.
| too.
| fife come a fyin out O the house
with his suspenders streakin' out be-
hind him, an a pot lid come after an
hit one o them. fancy cochins OF hers
= an laid 1t out stiff" chuckled our
hired man.
| Its an i'll wind that don't blow no
one no good" commented my Uncle
Alexander THAT ought 10 mean
chicken dinner"
! Then she stood in the doorway an
. gave him the wust tongue lashin' that
| Won ever heard tell Of" said our hired
/ man. If there was anythin ornery
! that she didn't call him. my memry
amt what 1t ulster be-"
i My Aunt lie,ty made deprecatory
noise with her tongue and teeth.
"Sech doin's:" she exclaimed.
20, l dunno" said my Uncle Alex
ander.
How'd you like me 10 throw pot
lids at YOU" asked my Aunt Hetty.
u s'pose you'd like that"
! We certainly amt had chicken for
! quite a spell" said MY Uncle Alex
ander. Not since Brother Piper was
here. She didn't hit him with any
thin, did she, Preston"
Il don't cal'late she did" replied
i our hired man Not with anythin'
that she threw at him.
| Il don't see nothir' to grin about.
said my Aunt Hetty severely. Il
| think she ought to be ashamed OF her
self. | don't hold with such carrylns
on. Standin' an hollerin' at him sos
| folks could hear her.!
You could have heard her a mile.
! said our hired man.
! "All can say is I wonder at her.
said my Aunt Hetty. Shes real
smart woman, an turrible neat in her
| housekeepin'. but that don't excuse
j her actin that way.
II guess Eben didn't get no more
| than what was nessry.' said my Uncle
! Alexander. Il don't know as | blame
| her, myself She's got to do somethin'
| with him, an al. she's got to do II
| with is her owl. two hands an her
| tongue. EU tIO pioSuS-NohSu
| an shifless for any use"
There's other ways said my Aunt
Hetty.
| There's one other way" corrected
NV Uncle Alexander. You take q
woman like her. though, an she amt
| got but the enc. When a woman Is
| cross-eyed. an yaller. an slab-sided.
an bony, she's got TO do the best she
can. ...
| I've took a heap O. notice Of fe-
males that's got the name OF bein
| limber.tongued an free with the broom
] handle, an there amt nary one that
| can can to mind that would take fust
| prize at a beauty show. They're
! mostly homelier than sin In a SER
| mon.
The human man is so constitooted
( that he has got to be driven or coaxeu,
| one O. the two The human woman is
| so constitooted that she's got TO coax
! or drive, one o the two. That bein
| the case. II she cant coax. by reason
| of havin' a face fifteen to stop clock
| an a figger to match, she's got to get
| a flow Of language.
q! don't see why she can't talk de-
cent. even If she ain I no beauty,
said Aunt Heity.
| The trouble is that she can't set
! on her husbands knee and p-.I his
whiskers," said my Uncle Alexander
She can't coozle. II womans
| plump. an has got rosy checks an
| bright eyes she can get anything she
| wants out Of a man by Just coozlin
| up to him an talkin' baby talk
I'D like to know how you found
I that out" said my Aunt Hetty. tartiy.
Z should think you'd be ashamed to
| talk that way before q young boy.
| Il ain't never ashamed to tell the
| truth" ssid my Uncle Alexander. You
| never see a gOod-Iookin' young wom-
| an resortin' 10 hardware and kitchen
| supplies to carry her point She don't
| have to. An you don't never see a
| lady like HuIdah Reddick CarCssin'
| her husbands bald spot an cooin 10
| him. II she did he'd have her put in
an insane asylum. an she knows it.
It's easier TO coax. an It's sight
| pleasanter. but II amt everybody that
| can do it, even IL they wanted TO-
| That's the reason that I feel sorry fer
| Eb's wife an make allowances for her
| That's the reason that whenever !
| hear a right good Iookin' womap sayin
| that she can't understand Why any
| body should take fiatiron to her man.
| or call him out Of his proper namc AZ
the top Of her voice. feel as n she
needed en!ightenin'.
its easy for folks TO set back al
| find faun with their neighbors. but IL
you wasn't the good-iookin' woman
that you are. Hct. an you had .
| ,gif,in'. noaccount. mean cuss like