Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-03-13
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IF 1t wasn't for one thing Tomp-
kins would be the most successful liar
'She hasn't any friends to speak Of"
mo? Then what are they forr'-
Puck.
ever met" "And that?" "No one
ever believes his lies" ."-Mllwaukee Sem
tlnel.
'Nagg is very fond of entertaining.
isn't he?' "Yes; his wife has to be
pleasant when there's company pres
ent."-Boston Traveller.
II will pay your debts to-day, but 1t
Is positively for the last time!" "Oh,
dear uncle, then wait at least until to-
morrow "-Fdiegende Blaetter.
"Out of job?" "Yes-and they put
woman in my place" Gee! Well.
I'll tell you-why don't you marry the
woman?'-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
She-I heard about the elopement.
Has her mother forgiven them? He
l think not. l understand she has gone
to live with them-Illustrated Bits.
did you ever bite Boston girlT
mo, l am afraid to go near them." re-
piled the second mosquito. "I've heard
they are very cold-blooded. d."-Houston
Post.
MY bride wanted to go on weeks
wedding tour, and l wanted to stay at
home. Well, we compromised by going
on tour around the world !-Meggen-
dorfer Blaetter.
Clara-As Ethel married in haste,
supposed she repented at leisure?
Maude-No; she repented at cheap
boarding house, understand.-Chi-
cago Daily News.
II have come all the way out here"
said the tenderfoot, ito see your beau
tlful sunset" Somebody's been string
In you, stranger" replied Arizona AL.
1T amt mine."-Chicago Record Her
aid.
| Weary Walker-De worlds all
wrong Tired Tatters-Wot's eatin'
youse now? Weary Walker-Ef I'd a
had de maxim Nv it I'd made all de
roads runnin' down hill.-Chicag0
News.
Mrs. Tourlst-I'm afraid that the
monkey wouldn't please my husband.
Vendor-But madame will find 1t easl-
er to find another husband than to get
monkey like that for three plastres
! lie Rire.
"What shall 1 read you tirst?' 'The
marriages" "Here Is an article about
some boys who were found playing with
dynamite" "Well, read 1t. 1t pos
sesses the same elements Of Interest,"
Houston Post.
"What," queried. the young man, SIS
the difference between white lies and
black lies?" "White lies" answered the
homegrown philosopher, "are the kind
we tell; black lies are the kind we
hear."-Chicago News.
"Yes," said the Summer Girl, "its
all Off. sent everything back to him
yesterday" mot the ring?' asked her
friend. mo, he said could keep that
If I'd send him the hammock | caught
him in."-Yonkers Statesman.
Mistress-Dld you remember to feed
the cat every day during my absence?
| Servant-Every day but one, ma'am.
Mistress-And didn't the poor thing
have anything to eat all day? Serv-
J ant-Oh, yes, ma'am. She ate the ca
nary.-Chicago Daily News.
First Stranger-Excuse me, but you
are a physician, believe? Second
Stranger-You are mistaken, sir. First
Stranger-But | overheard you say you
followed the medical profession. Sec
, ond Stranger-And so do I'm an un.
ertaker.-Chicago Daily News.
J "An artist" said the man with point
ed whiskers, must not think about
: money! 81 suppose not" answered
Mr.. Cumrox. "Every time buy pic
. ture the artist wants enough to keep
him from thinking about money for the
rest of his life. fe."-Washington Star.
Yeast--It is difficult to tell the wait
ers from gentlemen diners at fashion
able restaurants now. Crimsonbeak-
Well, If you happened to search 'em
, when they went out you could tell the
difference. The walters have all the
money in their clothes. = Yonkers
Statesman.
Mr. Jagway Cat late hour, cropping
! his way toward the foot Of the stairs)
There's just twice as many chairs
a In this hallway as there ought t be
q Ny eyes might fool me on that prop'si'
4 tion. O. course, but when | stumble