The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-04

snakes, LillgAt0rB ana sharks and an
| a baldhcnded white man stands Oh q,
shore iaughin' at you signifies dat peri
am gwine 10 menace you II you M
usin' wood on some white mans pile
look out fur loaded sticks
no dream dat you have white bali
and am on your way 10 do drug stor'
70 git d bottle OF hair dye when a yal
Ter cat runs ober your feet signifies /
change of some sort You may be TAX
IN Into trust or kicked out OF one.
ITO see FIVE crows attin' IN line Of
dc fence II sign dat a pusson an
comm along TO disturb your domestl,
happiness Dat pusson may try Il
.oax your ole woman to elope wi(
him or may hand her love letter dai
you have writ to anoder woman.
III you wake up at midnight and
bear mysterious voice calm 10 yor
from afar of and II seems TO be Dc
voice OF q woman stuck IN de mud
you kin sot II down dat your mudder
fn-law am comm on a visit and make
things hum. You will hear her calm
arter she arroyes, and ebery call will
make you Jump foot high.
Hootin' Of an Owl.
ITO be gwIDe past a graveyard al
night and hear de hootin' Of an owl
am 'nuff 10 Jump a man outer bis
bntes. but don't jump. / have neber
had dat thing happen to me widoui
bringin' good luck. De last time Il
happened ! borrowed white mans
wheelbarrer. and he dun forget who he
lent II to.
III you meet bobtailed dawg. a
one eyed cat and lop shouldered man
on de same block while gwine to de
grocery arter Goldfish, you might as well
turn right back and save bein' humili-
ated. No grocer on airth kin stand
up agin such a combination as dat,
and de minute you AK to be trusted be
VIII refuse you.
ITO have blind mewl pass you
while you am sittin' on de fence am a
sign dat you am gwlne to be dunned
fur your pew rent de follerin' Sunday
and dat you'll have to pay at least 80
cents down and make some big prom
lses regardin' de balance.
IF you am sittin' on de back steps Of
your cabin, wIshln' you was rich and
great, and a speckled hen walks out In
front Of you and tries to crow, you git
outer dat as fast as your legs viii carry
you. II means dat your landlord am
Jest around de co'ner, and II he finds
you home he will raise your rent 81 a
month.
ITO be walkin' along a highway and
find corkscrew am one Of de baddest
signs ! know Of. II am sign dat you
have got pull wldout anything to pull
at.
ITO be walkin' In an alley at mid.
night and suddenly hear a voice at
your elbow am sign dat de policeman
who owns de voice am gwine to take
you to de station and Ak for explana.
shuns. II you kin convince him dat
you was walkin' to mediate, he will
let you 90. II you can't, 1t will be
thirty days or S. fine next mawnin
Allus be prepared fur dis emergency.
"If you am passin' down an alley In
de daytime and see dfty feet OF garden
hose in a white mans back yard, wild
a yaller cat roostin' on de fence, It am
sign dat befo' midnight dat hose am
gwine to disappear hain't sayin' dat
de yaller cat am gwlne to swaller II
but de next mawnin' 1t will be gone.
"ID addition TO de above, Brother
Gardner's Dream and Sign Book con.
tains hundreds of odder dreams, signs
and tokens, beginnin' way back to dc
dlsklbery of America and comm down
to de beglnnin' Of de present tight
times. A rabbits fUOt goes wild ebery
sale. If you don't have luck wild dc
dreams and signs. 1t win shorely come
wild de foot-ober fifty different signs
dat you am gwine to be rich befo' dc
year am out; oher a hundred dreams
dat must bring you luck, wild instruc.
tons how to dream 'em; homemade
and hand painted and jest as much to
be relied on as old fashioned 'lasses
candy.
~Let us now adjourn" NJ. QUAD,