davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1908-02-07
Supply Is Small.

The inquisitive visitor t o the studio
OF the famous, but crochety artist pro-
pounded the query:
with"
With brains, sir" replied the paint
er, in dignified tones.
"Ah," commented the visitor. SO
you paint miniatures"
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1908-02-07

Intentional Misunderstanding.
Aay-The artist vas pleased to say
9AAE I took . very pretty and graceful
vEcture.
Dass-Yes? Whose picture did you
tAke. doar3
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1908-02-07
causs and Effect

Cause and Effect.
Doctor Ito tailor)-Your family On
1oys extremsly good health.
Tallor-Yes. and It Is two years
since you had Z coat made.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1908-02-07

A1d u charitable man never haa
= wait o. : chance to get busy.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1908-02-07

e + easier to learn some thing
tn e u to unloarn them.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1908-02-07

Hon. Thos. Gale, who was elected to
Congress from Alaska, is we'll known on
the Pacific slope, where he has resided.
His Washington address is 1879 9th St.,
NV, Washington. d. C.
Washington, q. C.
Pcrnna Drug Co.. Columbus, Ohio.
Gentlemen: lean cheerfuHy recon-.
mend Peruna as q very efficient rem.
sdy for coughs and colds.
Thomas Gale.
Hon c. Slemp, Congressman from
Virginia, writes: II have used your val
liable remedy, Peruna, with beneficial
results, and can unhesitatingly econ
cure for catarrh."
Man.a.lln the Ideal Laxative.
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1908-02-07

More proof that Lydia Il. Pink
hams VegetableC Compound saves
woman from surgical operations.
Mrs. S. A. Williams, of Gardiner,
Maine, writes:
81 was a great sufferer from female
troubles, and Lydia e. Pinkham's VeRe-
table Compound restored me TO health
in three months, after my physicisn
declared that an operation was abso-
lutely necessary"
Mrs. Alvina Sperling, Of 1874 C1ey-
bourne Ave, Chicago, ILL.,, writes:
81 suffered from female troubles, .
tumor and much Inflammation. Two
Of the best doctors in Chicago decided
that an operation was necessary to saws
my life. Lydia 4. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound entirely cured me without
an OperatiOn."
The herald-advance. (Milbank, S.D.) 1890-1922, 1908-02-07
FACTS FOR SICK M

For thirty years Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousands OF
women who have been troubled with
displacements, inflammation, ulcera-
ton, fibroid tumors, Irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bear
ing-down feeling, fatulency, indiges-
neutrality-suspicious. p~rostration.
Why don't you try it q?
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick
women to write her for advice.
She has guided thousands to
health. Address, Lynn, Mass.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-10-01
PAGE THREE.

"He-say, 'Publick ownership Of r.
Rs must take place in eventual time.
Them 100000 years from date will
be eventual time, won't it not?v
"In 100000 year what would
American publick own?" are ques-
ton for Anazuma.
At least they would own them
blue transfer slips" I renig with de-
eeptive expression of a Campaign
Contribution.
Late Sunday p. m. Arthur Kicka-
hajama give to me for Campaign
Contribution live dog which is a
Hon. Pup. 1t are very infant man.
NAL with emotional tail and cult
waited by fees. Arthur rescue them
Dog while being kicked from wharf
by educated gentleman who was
drunk.
ct are vulgar variety" I snip
for objection because I are nervous
about expensive food for such a dunn
friend.
'It may grow up to be refined"
say Arthur carelessly.
"What breed of Dog are it?" is
next fuss from me-
"Not certainly sure" say Arthur.
"Hon. Strunsky who are sport say,
1t are he-dog, SO I suppose it are
such a breed"
[ regard this Hon. Pup with
thoughts. He throw me a very doggy
gaze & thump banzai on floor with
his snubbed appendix. My heart be-
come soft-boiled with love. I can't
not turn dog away in such a hot
weather when he are apt to be bit
by a rabbi & get it. So l possess
him by chains and enjoy worry about
his breed which are full Of spots
with a bursted ear.
S. Wanda, japanese Socialist, saw
he should be named "Tariff" because
he need revising Immediately. Cous-
IN Nogi announce, "He should be
named injunction because he were
kicked off a platform.
81 shall not call such names to a
mere dog" l crafty. Therefore
L shall chisen him 'O-Fido' what was
name of famous japanese grocer
what live happy for 1000 year and
died from being too joyful"
So I got O-Fido in bedstead with
me where he practise banks at Hon.
Rats all night till japanese persons
sleeping in this house can not do SO
& report fearful complaints to Hon.
Landlord who is malefactor & say:
You are nuisance besides 3-week
remit with rent" Moral of this is:
Be kind to them dunn beasts & YOU
will get paid off.
Yours truly,
HASHIMURA TOGO.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-10-01
BY HaShimpYa T0q0.

think. If I ask for job of Hon.
Window Wash at Mills Bldg & Jan
itor Boss say: "Hashimura, told me
transparency what you think of this
job "-what I answer for reply9 l.
say: 1t are a very delicate job Of
extreme fineness. It are high
horse privilege for japanese Boy
to be able wash windows for Hon.
Mills. Though it require great skill
& couredge to shine such lofty glass
pains, yet I fatten myself that |
got such power more briskly than
other japanese Boys which is apt to
be lazy in sense Of duty where it
should be tightest. Hon. Janitor, I
feel myself unworthy of such a jobs,
yet know [ amt Therefore give
it to me because of merit
[ say all them things, Mr. Editor,
because I am candidate for them
high post Of Window Wash. There
fore I am prejudicial about it. But
It Hon. Janitor ask Cousin Nogi, who
do not desire such a jobs because Of
his lazy spine, what-say Cousin Nogi?
He-say: GA Window Wash require
some muscles, but very little intelli-
gence. Hashimura Togo are not safe
to stand on such attitudes because
he thinks poems; therefore if he gets
1t he will swim off of 10th story
window & burst his fooly neck. -
Hon. Taft & Hon. Bryan are too
sympathetic with such jobs to talk
straight. Why not ask some gentle
mans what never expects to be White
Housers to give view on Presidency?
Hon. Hearst on "My Conception
Of the Presidency" would be very
bright & could get Hon. Brisbane to
write it for him. Hon. Alt.
Parker, Hon. Patty MeCarren, or
Hon. John Wanamaker would talk
deliciously true & sinical. But
do not ask Hon. Forker, please,
because he would write it, "My Con-
ception of the President" & decuss
other niger problems which are no
longer delicacy.
l. Anazuma, Jananese barber,
where l go for get my cheek whitfield,
say-me: "Who could express such
a conception about being Pres. and
not lie about it?'
II could" is answer for me. "I
am best befatted for such a talk be-
cause [ are entirely unsympathetick
& not entitle to a white vote like
Hon. Booker Washington and other
darks." /~
"Why you no write such concep-
ton for Collier Weekly?" is snug
gestion from him.
II are not yet requested" is
erupt from me.
'You are modish violet" is vo-
cal from Hon. Suds. "Therefore say
it secretly"
eff I was President" I rake
out, 81 should be divided into 2
parts. The IL part Of me should be
10 diko1 &, hind IF donrorouc. hut +bo
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-10-01

Oy hon. Taft & Hon. Bryan wrote
delicious page of large tipe for
Collier Weekly on subieck, "Mv
Conception Of the Presidency" Of
surely them two Presidents know
WHAT'S they are talking about.
Speeches of Hon. Taft is found in
rolls OF Fame, and speeches Of Hon.
Bryan is found in rolls of Edison
Phonograf. And yet there was some
thing deceptive & sidewise about
them articles they wrote for Collier s.
because they sounded so. Hon. Taft
say:
"A President should be like Hon.
Roosevelt, only less so. He should
be like a piano of upright build with
some grand square qualities. He
should be the First Magistrate and
also the Principal Policeman in the
Kingdom. He should be good as he
are lonesome. He should treat all
Trusts in a beastly manner and up
hold Truth & Justice so long as it
do not hurt National Prosperity. l
shall do all these things, thank you,
orders promptly attended to, tele-
phone service day & night. Also 7
shall look just as much like Hon.
Abe Lincoln as health & strength will
permit me to do it..
Hon. Bryan say:
A President should be like Hon.
Theodore Roosevelt only more so.
Malefactors, etc., needs not cringe
off from me for fearful that I will
burn up America when | am elect
ed. Because I can't. A President
are only bluff. He don It amount
to a rolling-pin. Hon. American
Govt. are system of checks &
balances, so President are deli
ciously powerless when he wish to re-
form it. | promise to be helpless as
possible. Could [ reform Hon. Cur
rancy from jaggy path Of debochery
by feeding him Gold Cure or some
thing? All no! What could I do
with them naughty Currency when
Senator Alrich are tempting him
away with rakish eye-wink? To in
crease weakness of my position I am
willing to consult Hon. Vice-Presi-
dent on all matters of no Importance
and talk kindly to him on National
subiecks where common-sense are
not expected. I believe in deep
breathing & outdoor exercise, but |
are cross about that wooley tariff of
sheep and should be insulted if Of
fered second term. Otherways [
are willing to ack like a Majority on
all occasions and what I think about
Brownsville Affair are matter Of
private conscience which [ refuse to
discuss by advice of Hon. Campaign
Manager. "
Mr.. Editor, I entertain some scolds
for you. How sinful to ask them
there Hon. Candidates to write such
opinions! When man expect to be
a President do you expect him to tell
H. aouI;oJ trutb about what he
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-10-01

People while with the other he should
be nice to the people Of the Interests.
If it are necessary for him to be 2
places at once he must go there.
When. requested he must attend a
Idaho Miners Noyesy Barbecue full
of malice forthem Hon. Malefactors;
but he must not neglect a invitation
to Insurance Scandalous Banquet
where he can set by Hon. Paul Nor
ton and talk like Injunction
$50 shocky!" say I. Anazuma
with razor. cit are shamefully diff
cult to shave such two-faced Japa-
nese."
"In antique times of pagan
Rome" I dib, there was delicious
ly heather god named January who
was able to look in 2 directions with
a double face On one side he had
a face like Hon. Judge Lands, on
the other expression like Hon.
Judge Grosscup. When malefactors
Of great wealth go to Judge Lands
side of them two-face idol they was
filed with shivers because of their
sinful rebates; so they crawl around
to Judge Grosscup side and was for
given. But when malefactors Of
great poverty get in front Of them
Grosscup face to make kick against
Olive Oil Trust, they almost went to
Jail for their crimes, so they hurry
around to Judge Lands face and was
comforted to know that taking re-
bates from Hartman was SIMMER
than taking silverware from a Sol
diers Home"
II am delicious to know" say
Hon. Anazuma who are studying to
be Y. M. C. A, "that them heather
idol January were bursted by hatch
cts of early Christian parents.
"He were finally bursted," I re-
buke, "but he last for several 100Os
of year & were nicely successful
god. He were popular like circus
for long lines Of Hon. Politicians
what wish to learn-how. What-say
Mr.. Vergil, famous Roman potter,
about them god January? He-say,
Get there, January!' which have
been politickal motto every since"
"Have that disgusting January got
any temples in American" require
Hon. Anazuma.
Gin Pennsylvania State Capitol
there is pagan pictures of Hon.
Mat Quay and other local gods,"
/ dib deceptively. "I shall not be
wonderful if portrait of Hon. Jan
uary are grated among nearly ev-
erything else in that famous art sa-
LOOM"
"When you are President how you
stand on publick ownership of R.
Rs?" require Hon. Barb.
"About publick ownership I are
safely insane" I report. "Publick
should be allowed to own R. Rs grad
ually. With each Pullman ticket
Hon. Passenger might get a blue
transfer which entitle him to |
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-10-01
Yours truly,
HASHIMURA TOGO.

S.P.-Who will be the First BABY
in the Land now that Quentin Roose-
welt have refused Third Terms
Little Charlie Taft are studying
childish pranks so he can hold them
position of Publick Cuteness. Hon.
Steam Shovelers' Union of Panama
is first to give Hon. Taft union
card. Hon. Steam Rollers Union
should be ashamed of their slowness!
FL. T.
H. T.-Collier's Weekly.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1908-08-07
Entertainment Profitable.

The entertainment given by the
Daughters of The Confederacy last
Friday evening" was a fine success.
No nicer or more successful party
was ever held here. The ladies, all
of them, deserve the highest praise for
their devotion TO worthy and noble
cause. Mrs. f. V. SPOTS, who was
chairman or manager of the COM
mittee or arrangements, has been
highly complimented and heartily
congratulated for her skillful man.
agement. Mrs. Tynes and her fami-
ly, who kindly and generously gave
the use of the lawn for the occasion,
and in fact, every body connected
with the affair performed their parts
as Tazewell women always do, in
just the right way. Quite a nice sum
was realized
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1908-08-07
Sewers Rain and Hail Storm

A heavy rain and hail storm passed
over this section last Tuesday after
noon. In the neighborhood of Plgnh
and Cavatts Creek the storm was
very severe. Hail OF large size and
in great abundance fell. At the sta
tion the passenger train was delayed
something like 30 minutes, the rain
being so heavy rs To prevent the
handling of baggage and express.
Young Philip Reynolds reports that
sufficient hail was gathered at his
home on Cavatts Creek TO make ice
cream. Here the rain was gentle, and
very little hail fell. Preceding this
rain the weather had been very
warm, and the gardens and growing
crops were suffering, and the rain
has proven Il great blessing all
around.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1908-08-07
The Cat Out of the Bag

Looks like IL. The ownership OF
the Richmond dailies has been
known here for long time:
Since our contemporary has seen
fit TO refer to The Bee as 1.-The after
noon counterpart of the Danville
Register" we might with equal just
ice describe il as the morning repro
duction OF the News Leader. We
have recently been informed that the
owner of the Times-Dispatch has ac-
quired the News Leader, and we are
further told that newspaper mon
opoIy exists in Richmond. This has
never been announced publicly, If ii
be true. e.-DanviIle Register.
This is news TO us and we had to
go away from home to get il. Is
there no hope for the little fish? Are
we TO have but one big paper in the
country with Roosevelt as editors
---Farmville Herald.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1908-08-07
FARMERS IN
ANNUAL SESSION
Great Gathering in Richmond of
Virginia Farmers-Meeting
Addressed by Governor

The State Farmers Institute now
In session mt Richmond, is attended
10y about five hundred prominent far
mers from all sections of the state.
NJ opening of the Institute Cover
nor swanson made fine address.
Addresses have been made by leading
agrtculturists and stockmen from
other states. Among the number were
DR.. Knapp, of Washington; Mr..
Wing, of Ohio; and others.
Hon. Henry G. Stuart and Judge
Mann, prominent candidates for gov
ernor of Virginia, were also present,
and each of them were given cordial
and hearty receptions.
So far rs seen from the papers,
Captain n. J. Tynes is the only rep
resentatlve Of Tazewell in the Insti-
tute.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1908-08-07
The Editors Garden Hoe.

The lady or gentleman, black or
white as the case may be, who bor-
rowed CD the editors new garden
hoe, will please return same, and no
questions Will be asked. The hoe is
a new one-made by Patton sand Ar
rington out of piece of buggy
spring; both prongs the same, and
digs comm and goin' The borrower
will please return, day or night
either will do. Just put ii back
where lie got it from and ii will not
not run away If let alone. If you OBJ
ject TO returning said hoe just mail
or send 35 cents TO pay for it. The
editor owes Patton and Arlington
for that hoe, and top ay for 1t
now is like paying for dead horse.
So, an appeal is made-either return
this garden implement or cough up
30 cents, and do it quick. We can't
imagine what you want with the
hoe, anyway. A man who will steal
won't work, usually, and the hoe
would hardly look we'll as mantle
piece ornament or scarf pin. Re-
turn the hoe TO a man who Will
use it as it was intended to be used.
rhe editor is hoery headed and don't
like to be fooled with.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1908-08-07
Minister Camps in Beartown.

Burke's Garden, Va, Aug. 4.
The Rev. Mr.. Hill, of Lynchburg,
Va, who has been camping with his
family on Bear Town, filled Rev. S.
o. Halls pulpit at Central church
last Sabbath morning. Mr.. Hill
gave TO the large and appreciative
congregation literary and spiritual
treat, taking as his text, "Be sure
yourg sin will find you out" We
are glad to see this excellent mirI-
lister in our midst, and trust that we
may have the pleasure of welcom-
ing him to our Garden again.
DIR. and Mrs. J. II. Crockett enter
tined number of young people at
dinner Saturday evening in honor of
their weeks end guests, Misses
Bundy and Graham and DR.. Walter
+. Bundy.
Mr.. John p. Gose threshed fine
crop of wheat last Friday and Satur-
day.
Farmers are still busy in the hay
and are harvesting oats this week.
There will be Sunday school
picnic on the ground at Central
church next Saturday, TO which
everybody is invited. Hour for meet
ing, eleven o'clock.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1908-08-07
PROPOSED ROAD
WILL INlURE US
Blueheld Making Bid For Busi-
ness of Clear Fork and Cove
Greek Neighborhoods.

An important move has been on
foot for sometime on Clear Fork
and Cove Greek. a new road is being
projected out of the Valley across
East River mountain To BlueiieId,
and there seems little doubt now
that the road will be built. As is
well known this road has been talk
ed of for several years, but now seems
in fair way to be completed. An
important meeting of CleaPFork peo-
pie and the Bluefield pepole, will be
held in Bluelield today to further
discuss the matter.
1t is understood that Bluefeld
will build the pike to the top ofEast
River mountain from that side. The
people of Clear Fork, Wolf Greek and
Bland county, will build up this
side TO the top of the mountain. There
are two routes-one up Lyn Hollow
and the other up Wolf Creek AL
ready large private subscription
has been made, and il seems certain
that the road will be made. Such
men rs DR.. Hicks, w. ID. Jones,
Shawvers, Showers, Gregory, Comp
tion, Shufiiebarger and Others are at
the head of the movement, and they
mean business. This section Of the
county is the richest produce section
i'm the county, and market for
their stuff is seriously needed, and
this proposed road will put them in
easy touch with Bluelield, Graham
and the coalfi
The building of this road will do
this town no good. Thousands-hun-
derds of of thousands of dollars in
trade and produce will be diverted
from Tazewell TO BluefieId and Gra-
ham, and if so, who will be TO blame?
If there was decent road from TaZe-
well TO the East county line this
road would perhaps, not be built.
But the people of Clear Fork are
practically cut off from Tazewell by
the toughest and meanest roads par
ticularly in bad weather, in the state.
MIR. Compton brought n load of po-
tatoes TO town on Wednesday,
bushels. He said he could have easily
brought 40 bushels with the same
team and quicker, if the roads were
even passably good. And so il is. SO
long rs the county officials remain
Indifferent TO the situation, and let
things go on as they are just so long
will the towns and country go down
hill, and who can wonder?, The
Clear Fork people would prefer To
trade in this town but they can't get
here except at great expense of time
and money, and no one can censure
them for trying TO better their sur
roundings. On the other hand, they
are TO be commended. Let the Clear
Fork road be built, and we hope
while they are at it they will build
good, up-to-date pike.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1908-08-07
1. 0. o. f. at Shrader.
Shrader, Va. Augu

Shrader, Va, August 4.
Mr.. Bruce, of Graham, the district
grand master of the /. o. o. +. in
stalled a lodge at this place Satur-
day night.
Mr.. II. w. Crockett, returned
from Baltimore Saturday where
he has been buying his fall goods.
Misses Maud and Roxia Stephen
son gnd Birdie Shrader who have
been attending the normal at Big
Stone Gap, returned to their homes
this week.
Miss Ella Mccall is visiting at
Cane Brake.
Mrs. Venie Frye of Graham is Wis
ting friends and relatives in the cove
Mr.. and Mrs. ID. w. Sayers, have
gone TO Pocahontas Co. Mr.. Sayers
talks of buying farm in that coun-
ty.
Miss Edna Davis of Richlands is
visiting NJ ISIS RoXje Shrader.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1908-08-07
Those Who Are Supporting Bryan

n number of our readers are. anX-
ious TO know what newspapers are
supporting Mr. Bryan this year who
did not support him in the former
campaign and what leading men if
any are supporting Mr.. Bryan this
year who have not supported him
heretofore.
An article in a recent issue of the
Times Dispatch gives in part the fol-
lowing facts: The Times Dispatch,
Norfolk Landmark and the Index
Appleal are supporting Mr.. Bryan
this year that did not support him
in 1896. The Charlotte Observer, the
Springfield Republican, The New
Orleans Times-Democrat and perhaps
The New York World, and several
other large influential papers are also
supporting him this year. The
Brooklyn Eagle, New York Times
and the Cincinnati Enquire, are
three leading papers which supported
Judge Parker but are not supporting
Mr. Bryan.
Mr.. Ingalls, supported Judge Park
er in 1906, and Mckinley 1900 and is
supporting Mr.. Bryan this year.
Mr. Gompers, it is said, supported
Mr.. Roosevelt in 1904 but is support
ing Mr.. Bryan this year.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1908-08-07
New Church and TelephOne-The
mick Carter of Sinking Creek

Bandy, Va. August A tele
phone line is being built from
Pounding Mill To this plnce. We
need one badly.
There is some talk of church
being built at this place.
Quite n number from here attend
cd the dedication of the church at
Lairds Chapel Sunday.
C.C.Payne, the "Nick Carter of
the Sinking Waters, was calling on
Dry Fork, Sunday.
Pap Lambert, Il. W.. and Grover
Brewster who have been off at work
are at home for few days. The
boys like TO wander back OCCASIONAL
!y.
Miss Julia Payne has returned
home from quite an extended visit
TO relatives and friends at English
and Welch.
Geo. w. Henkle is thinking oi
selling his farm and going West.
Clinch Valley news. [volume] (Jeffersonville, Va.) 18??-2019, 1908-08-07
Chicken Thieves i'm TazeweII.

Last Wednesday while Mr. and
Mrs. Chas. Mccoy were away from
home some thief stole seven fine
chickens from their yard. These are
only few of the many chickens
stolen i'm town within the past
few months. The editor had his three
fine prize Plymouth Rocks stolen
Mr.. TruX, Mrs. Whit and others
have lost chickens. Mrs. Millard has
lost number of young turkeys.
These sneak theaves should be caught
and hung, or otherwise severely
punished. They can be caught if
looked out for. The merchants and
others who buy chickens, can rend-
er assistance. We hope our keeneyed
detective, Hawkins, will prowI
around, and run down the rascalS, and
we will all club in and give him
a chicken feast such as never was.
The heads of families of this town
can help. There is suspicion that
the thieves are boys, who take chick
ems in the day time, and sell them.
Your boy may be in the crowd.