The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-05-01

n Jealous of the paper trust these days The St Lcuis Times says there is room for both Shakespeare and baseball in Mis- souri; and we shouldn't wonder also if there lines.
 Taft will soon leave for Panama to play a few weeks engagement Eiying a correct imitation of an elephant, After that cold spell yesterday we can well belive that story going the rounds that the north pole Is shifting. An Indiana man killed q hors. with his fist the other day Mebbe the brute had gfv-' en him the horse laugh.
 It's real mean of Teddy to send mesa tres just because he possesses the prerogative. Give us more ships and fewer "schooners '' It's great to be an author and
 Write tales to freeze the bones.
 But a girl prefers the young man who I Can talk in, ringing" tones ! In Missouri q Miss May Rummage has married a Mir. Will Sale. If there's anything in a name that woman will be . bargain fiend. However. here's. hoping theren be
 To the book beer signs
 That greet the eye. Flush little goat .x yor'n soon be dry" 5t A Montgomery youth tried to kiss prst night and in inclining her head the girl hit him in the eye with its broad brim. The fellow appeared on Dexter Avenue this morning with 1t bandaged up but he wore . broad smile. however. for they say love Is blind anyhow, Texas. has a horse which eats chickens. feathers and all, as fast as he catches them. He also raids hens nests and eats the eggs. ay .re
 L. F. Hatch of vineiand. N J.. has built barn in which his horses and COW climb he has poultry house on top of the build ing.
 An Arkansas man has just inherited sibc from a maiden aunt Now. girls. don't all speak at once. .-s .s.y--. It may be of interest to our famous blue-eyed blondes to read the following from a well-known authority:
 statistics show that. though fair-haired who have, dark hair. yet the former live longer than the latter"
 In Portugal married women retain their maiden names and yet people are surprised that the men there are. of an anarehistie temperament.
 Are you our new office boy" =. r "Yes, sir" .tf
 Have you a srandmothsr'" No, sir
 DO you want to get off to xc to base Don't care for it." Can you whistle ?" Never learned how"
 Can't we procure you few dime novels Have no desire for ,em."
 ''wouldn't you accept . package of eisa- Don't smoker lance for the senior member had fainted dead away there ever been any ancient relics discov- cred on this farm? rs
 Farmer corncob-Aws'4l--there wus a old maid school teacher here last, summer S. B-That.s enouEh-who discovered hsr?
 Mebbe in the hereafter the tax-dUdger will be forced to leap lover red-hot hurdles to keep up his exercises s&@ The Chicago editor who says Bryan will withdraw from the race is in fair way to be called a candidate for the home for Tee ble-minded.
 oh. Gentle Annie. with your birdsies and tFeeses and sweet summer breezes, and gar ish patent medicine signs on every fence. rock and barn! @ An Eastern woman has just died and left $75.ooo to the mixer of her drinks. Also we fear the last one, he mixed contained q most peculiar ingredient tre \ An Indianapolis man named Kissee has been arrested on charge of mock mar 'riage. 4 name like that isfa great tempta-'
 srt !. " .' /, Vacation that ttie summer girl has engaging. &ays. a% An insane man addressed the Senate from the gallery and promptly put out. If he had made the same speech on the floor. 1t would have been printed in the esteemed Record and frightened up the pages nit~' . It makes the tariff awfully conceited to think that though he is bad egg, nobody will dare to reform him
 Capturing a wife is like running to catch a street car. When you do you wonder why you ran so
 Don't worry so much about how you look Just carry your pocket-book conspicuously and you'll look good to the whole world Have you read the latest novel;
 Anna
 Boni-
 Helie!
 After the storm. After the storm the skies are blue. An the earth is calm and still
 'Tis a peaceful scene
 Whar the roses lean. To ki-s the window sill After the storm the birds sing sweet Tn a silveFy refrain.
 whar tn summer breeze
 Plays through the trees Down in Lovers Lane After the storm some hearts are sad That break by a new-made grave
 As they think thro' tears E. An tn long long years, Of the loved ones that they savei But after the storm while the skies are .s blue,
 Take heart on tn sunshine hill.
 In a world O light
 Strive with all your might For the ones who are with us still!
 No Unemployed Hens. New York Tribune.
 What fraction of the nations wealth is consumed by a typical extraordinary hen in one year? Anybody who has owned a potato patch or a flower pea within walking distance Of hen knows how small a part Of her Irving expenses is paid by tho man who gets the eggs. He also knows how large percentage of the hens diet must pc left to the ina gination. ~a-zaa=zu----=z4a---z4z-u-- ~ The Sign of \