The Washington times., 1908-11-03
She Is Always Under Crit
cal Inspection of Her
Fiance's Family.
SHE SHOULD NOT
MAKE FIRST CALL
Mother of the Man Should Visit
Sons Intended, or, If III, In
vite Fiancee to Visit.

To say that a girl should be more
careful at a certain time than at others
OF her manners would be ridiculous, but
IL IS perfectly true that there are oc-
casiOns or situations during which
young wOman's actions may be more
severely criticised, and one of these is
during the early part Of an engage
ment
Every smallest act of a girl is under
the most minute inspection OF the
family OF her future husband, partiCu-
larry If they have not known her
previously. and it is a wise woman who
conducts herself in such d way that
they can give only communication. and
not blame. She viii lose nothing by
standing on her dignity. provided always
that she does not carry it TO excess and
thus become silly.
Not Girls Place.
1t is not the place of a girl to pay the
FIRST visit to her future husbands
mother unless under exceptional CON
ditions Should the parent be III or
unable to go out, it is then the girls
privilege to go if the mother has ex-
pressed a wish that she should, but not
otherwise.
The theory is that the young woman
waits 10 be welcomed 10 the family to
which IN the future she is 10 belong.
and IL IS for that family TO receive her
gTaclOus4y Immediately. Should the girl
make the ursL visit she puts herself ia
the position of thrustIug herself upon
them whether. they wish 10 have her
or not
A mans mother who does not call
al once upon her sons nanCee is not
only rude but unkiud, unless there is
some serious reason why the engage
menJ Is discounlenanced by his rela-
tives.
Sisters Should Call.
Physical inability among his sisters
Is the only excuse for their not calling
at once, and while a girl may waive
formality and make the initial call upon
MS mother IF she is certain that lady
wishes TO receive her in the capacitv
OF future daughter-in-Iaw. lEere is no
reason why the girl should 60 the same
IOT her nanCee's sisters eXceDt for the
Justlnable excuse before given
Inc announcement OF an engagement
IS made either by the girl or her mother
IN almost any way they choose. Custom
Arrows great latitude in this respect,
and IL may be made public at a tea, a
luncheon or a dinner at which time the
news Is told 20 friends As a rule inf
mates have already been acquainted of
me Iact by word OF mouth or by notes.
ana IN this case they are asked not to
tell II until the date set for a formal
announcement.
Girls Pay Visits.
once the enga cement is known Il is
expected that the girls friends viii pay
visits or write notes Of good wishes but
she need not refrain from going to see
them as usual unless she wishes to
stand upon fOrmality and wait for them.
Il is very gracious thing for the
mans mother 10 announce her sons
engagement to old friends OF their fam
lly. expressing pleasure in II. To entire
y demonstrate her approval she should
ask the girl at some special date to
meet friends Of her future husband.
For the mans mother 10 give a tea or
dinner is not only tactfUl but IL makes
the newcomer feel that she Is indeed
being made welcome.
The feeling Of the mans family for
her in future years is largely made bv
the girls manner and conduct during
heI engagement, and with tact. kind
ness Of heart and politeness she may
accomplish much.