Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-11-13
CRIME OF THE
CLOCKS
Man Who Mlesed a Train Freee
He Mind About q Com-
mon Nuleanoe.

indignant DeCduSS ne udu ullSSeu MS
train, that the man maintaining in
public place clock that does not keep
time ought to be found guilty of fe
lonious misdemeanor, II not of some
thing worse, and punished, IL that
were possible, with penalty in some
measure commensurate with his crime
II am not sure that would hang
him for the first offense-at least ]
would not make such punishment
mandatory; l would leave something
to the discretion Of the judge and jury
but would make the penalty cumu
lative. For instance, would have the
law so read that after man had been
found four times guilty Of this crime
he must be hanged or electrocuted
four times, with no escape, and l don't
know but what would both hang and
electrocute him.
For / can conceive. of no higher
crime than that of man who sets UP
a clock in public place and then fails
to keep it going correctly.
Understand me clearly. l do not
refer now to clocks in church steeples,
right and they may be wrong. Nom
inally they are supposed to be looked
after by the sexton, but really they
represent the congregation, divided
responsibility; and on anything fol-
which the responsibility is divided you
can never rely. The church clock goes
its own sweet way through the week
x1yith 10 of
1t never rely.
Nor do l permit myself to be misled
by tower clocks, which, like the church
clocks, may be right and may be
wrong You might think that the
tower clocks would be looked after
scrupulously by those who owned
them, but up so high, so near the sky,
and though looked at daily by many,
they seem sometimes to be quite over,
looked and forgotten by those whose
business it should be to keep constant
watch over them; and l have learned
by experience not to rely on tower
clocks.
And l have long since ceased to
rely on clocks simply because they
had the word Regulator printed on
their face. / have known such clocks
that were model timekeepers, but put.
ting that name on their face didn't
make them so. Have we not all seen
one story shacks with a sign up read.
ing Grand Palace Hotel?' But that
sign didn't make the shack palace
any more than printing the word Reg
ulator' on the face of twodollar
clock makes that perfect timekeeper.
So have long since ceased to be mis-.
lead by the word Regulator
For that matter, may we not find in
jewelers. windows, where of all places
you would expect to find clocks show.
ing the correct time, clocks that are
minutes off? I never rely on a clock
simply because l see it in a jewelers.
window.
Nor do 1 rely on the barber shop
clock, nor on any of the many clocks
that l find in many semi-public places
and least of all do l rely on clocks
found in homes; for clocks are as vari
ous and as irresponsible as men.
And now / am coming to the real
point of what I want to say. There is
one sort of clock set up in public
places upon which we should be able
to rely with absolute security, and that
is the clock that is set up by busi
ness man in front of his place of bust
ness.
Now there is clock that really
ought always to be kept in perfect
order and keeping perfect time. For
does not this man place II there to at.
tract attention to himself and his
goods for his own profit? Does he not
thereby expect to derive benefits from
the public, and should not the public
be able to rely upon receiving a recip-
rocal benefit from him? Does he not
thereby substantially say that what he
has to offer is good and worthy of at
tention, and is 1t not reasonable to
suppose that he invites our confidence
in his clock as well as his goods?
And would you not suppose that
the most commonplace considerations
of selfishness would prompt him to
keep that clock always in perfect or
der, to confirm and increase for his
own profit the confidence that he in
vites? You'd think so, wouldn't you?
But how many clocks are so?"
81 infer from what you say" said the
tranquil man waiting for his train to
whom these remarks had been made,
that you have trusted some public
clock somewhere and so missed your
train"
Your inference is quite correct"
said the hot and indignant man, "and
what l said to you as to the penalties
that / think ought to attach to this
crime of failure to keep public clocks
in order is only brief, limited, short,
condensed, mild. abbreviated, attenu-
ated and expurgated statement of
what l think the penalty really ought
to be. What would do II could to
the man guilty of this crime I wouldn't
care to say"