The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-09-18
DRIFTWooD

l DRIFTWOO CD Woman may be the bone of conten- tion" in this world but we notice men ., | seem to think the nearer the Done" the sweeter the meat.
 Now in your spare time. If you have | any, you can amuse yourself by hgur- | ing up what your vacation cost you. The average child has so much trou- ble trying to raise its parents.
 It takes child two years to learn | to talk. but if its a gal child, my, doesn't it make up for lost time in the years that follow? There be many disappointments fin life but when the telephone rings very long and loud and you are very busy me. called the wrong number" Well, you know how it is.
 One advantage the tall man has over | the short man is that the short man | can never kick him without straining himself unless he is on stepladder. Yes. sometimes, q man may even go to the dogs over his puppy love. Did you ever meet the man who takes up so much time in picturing to you the | grandure of the things he is going to do that he never has any time to do 'em? If some men talked to other women like they do to their wives there'd be ing.
 A prudish negro at Alton. III, put have any undressed lumber there?-- Milwaukee Sentinel. For several months of the year the trees stand around with bare hmbs.- Atlanta Georgian.
 And the people are so modest that they will not permit salad to be serv- And some of 'em blush to tell the na- ked thuth.
 The average blonde woman has 40, 900 hairs in her head says the Milwau- kee Journal. Just for fun some night we intend to verify this statement if some Blue Eyed Blonde will sit still Chicago won't stand for the Salome dance Shades of Cleopatra! To think that Chicago wouldn't stand for. Wow WOW.
 whose pie killed her first husband: This Is taking long chances, but maybe he intends to employ a cook. and then POSSAOly Iil0 WOiA@h nos
 The estimated worlds production of lead in 1907 was 94S,9l0 metric tons, SuiIets et Os enough h for oFS New Yorks m @iiiiono airs to do all the sensational killing they contemplate.
 A device to prevent women from get ting off a streeet car backward is soon to be tried by the Chicago City. Rail- tiogg Mig 4rp%aSi eVer caoSnceiyed we we believe that could prevent a woman from doing so if she wanted to-.
 Edward Sloan. in pursuing a vicious skunk which had attacked him in Creek County, oklahoma. found a cave full 9T 9o the eesroes kied Se nep and sold their skins for $100-News Item. And saved every scent we presume.
 Ouch.
 Do you know any quick cut to wealth "sure-be 2 surgeon and operate only
 On the Stairway.
 Him: If kiss you will you call for fer: Why? Can't you manage it alone?
 Changeable.
 Jack reminds me of Tennysons fa- fous New Years poem."
 Why he gets engaged so much, its a pure csse. of ring out the old, ring in the new"
 Twas Ever Thus.
 Ethel, name some wild animal that growls over its meat and wears a warm fur coat in winter, that prowls around at night and sleeps in the day time. that"
 "oh you needn't go any further you are talking about my papa"
 
 Mixed. If Maud Muller'd had the lamb.
 And Maryd raked the hay. If Bo Peep on the burning deck, Had stood that fearful day. If Alexander'd cried in vain.
 My kingdom for a horse" If Shakespeare'd written George Ade's slang
 The public to endorse. If I'd been Rockefeller and
 My sweetheart Hetty Green I wonder if the world would still Roll onward as serene. .-.-.....