davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18

Roger, the great French tenor, a sen.
sitive soul, was prone to take ofense
at any slight, whether intentional or
not On one occasion he was engaged
for / POO francs to sing at the house
of wealthy tinancier. Roger sang his
first song magnificen1y, but no one
paid him the slightest attention, and
the guests continued to talk their loud
est Presently the host thought the
time had come for another song and
sent for Roger. He could not be found
and that evening was seen no more.
Next day there came a note from him.
accompanied by 500 francs. The note
ran something like this:
II have. the honor to return the 1000
francs which / received for singing at
your function, and | beg leave 10 add
300 francs thereto for having SO great
ly disturbed the conversation of your
guests. Chicago Record Herald
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18
Hiding His Ignorance.

An official of the department of in
tice said in Washington of a runu
brought 10 him for confrmato by
reporter:
This rnmor springs from ignorauc,
Grass ignorance of the law. | am 81
prised that you should have credited
''I'he originator of that rumor Is
plainly ignorant of the law as a &c"
tain schoolboy was of French.
This boys father said TO him on,
night al dinner:
"'Well. how are you getting on wit.
your French, my SOM
Every well, thank you, sir the Ia
replied
The father beamed with pleasure
ASK politely in French for som
peas he said
There was an awkward paus
Then
But, father, said the boy, i don
want any peas
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18

edv that we know is right-that we can
back up with all our reputation for hon
esty and square dealing.
And wouldn't you rather buy that kind
of remedy? Wouldn't you rather hold
us responsible than to hold no one
responsibe2 We are right here, right
where you can get at us every day in the
week. right where one false move on our
part will bring upon us your condem-
nation, the loss Of your friendship. your
patronage, your influence. Can we afford
to tell you anything that you will learn
later is not absolutely true?
Are you not safer in taking our word
for the merits of an article, than you are
to rely on the printed statement of pa
tent medicine manufacturer. whom YOU
never even saw and probably never will?
Common sense most emphatcallv tells
you that we cannot afford to depart one
hairs breadth frsm the rigid truth
None Of us can deny that there is such
a disease known as 'catarrh.' Those
who have it, or who have had it, know
that it is one of the hardest diseases to
cure.
Perhaps the worst thing about catarrh
is its prevalence Almost everyone
especially in climate like ours-has
catarrh in some form or another. That is
what has made the "catarrh cure bust
ness so profitable There are so many
thousands of cases of the disease and it is
so hard to cure, that the patent medicine
. manufacturers have reaped a harvest III
preparing remedies that appeal to this
large class OF sufferers
One OF the most serious things about
catarrh is that il breaks down the sys
TEN, so that the sufferer becomes a prey
to other diseases. This fact has led the
proprietors of so many "catarrh cures
to advertise their remedies as specific
for almost every disease under the sun
We have ONE catarrh cure that we
are willing to say TO YOU: we know
this is all right Take it home and use it
with the full assurance that if it does not
cure YOU, you can bring it back to us
and we will promptly refund your
money" That catarrh cure is
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18
The Queen Bumblebee.

The length of life of queen bum
blebee is probably little more than 4
year at most Here is one reason for
this belief: She matches among the
late hrUods uf summer and soon after
leaves the nest leading yagabond
existence, night and day. among the
autumn flowers The winter she passes
in an earth burrOw dug by herself and
unaided esta blishes a colony in the
spring These combined periods of fall
and spring require the daily use of her
fran wings in the field at least four
months. Now. we know that the wings
Of the worker houeybee wear out in
less than half that time: also thar the
old queens who take to the field after
the nest breaks up in August fire
quentIy have tattered wings and soon
disappear Nature does not supply in
sects with new wing cells as it sup
plies birds with new wing feathers,
SO the loss Of the power of flight at
This season of the year to the queen
bumblebee means the loss of life
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18
WOLVES OF FRANCE.
Picture Of Their Feroeity In the
Eighteenth Century


The terociou~ wolf said nature
student is the most perfect express.
sion of carnivorous bioodthirst that
walks. His jaw is the most terrible of
weapons lis siashing bite can break
the leg of buffalo and the noise Of it
nothing SO much as the mcessant
cracking Of heavy whip"
lie took down book
Here is what the wolves of France
We're like he said This is letter
from the famous Duchess of Orleans,
dated at Marty, Feb 9. 1909:
Packs of wolves commit fearful
ravages. They have deyoured the post
man of Alencon and his horse. Two
of lie beasts attacked tradesman
near Mons, one Springing ut his throat,
IN response to his shrieks two dra-
goons who were walking by came to
his help. one drew his sword and ran
wolf through the body. on which il
turned and seized it's new assailant by
the throat His comrade came up and
beat the brute off. but not before it had
killed the man Meanwhile the other
wolf had seized the second dragon
from behind and dragged him down.
Finally when effective help arrived
both the soldiers and one wolf were
found dead. The other had got away.
As for the tradesman, his leg WAS so
piteously torn that ii had TO be ampu-
tated above the knee 49, Cincinnati
EnuuiTer
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18
Beecher's Weddinq Fees.

When Coils 7. Huntington was mar
lied for the second time Henry Ware
Beecher performed the marriage cere
mony. HuntingtOn's first wife haf
been dead less than Il year, and he de
sired the second marriage kept secret
until his return from Europe. He gave
Mr.. Beecher a marriage fee of $500
When Huntington returned some
months later he went through pub
lie ceremony, and Beecher again ofticl-
ated. He gave Reecher another fee of
81 800. The great preacher had his hui
NOR aroused by his second fee Turn
ing 10 Huntington. he said, Coils, !
do wish you We're a Mormon "-Lyce-
unite and Talent
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18
A CLEVER RUSE.
Remember This When YOU Next Pur
chase Costly Jewels.


How Mr. Pierpont Morgan made his
millions would take volumes to relate.
but an amusing little artifice by means
of which he succeeded in saving 1000
can be told within the brief space OF
q couple of paragraphs.
Some years ago a iewelry firm in
New York sent the tinancier fine
pearl, offering it to him for $1,000
This Mr. Morgan decided TO purchase,
and two checks were made out-one
for $1,000 and the other for 81 900 He
then removed the pearl from its box
and. having substituted for il the 50 0ON
check, reSealed the package
Mr.. Morgans clerk was next dis
patched to the jewelers. with the sealed
box and Il note containing the check
for $4,000, stating that Mr. Morgan
would he pleased to purchase the pearl
if they would be satisfied with the
check The unsuspecting jewefers-in
ignorance. of course, of what the sealed
package now contained-closed with
the astute tinancier'S offer. And the
box in which the s.. 900 check serenely
reposed was returned to Mr. Morgan
unopened Pearson $
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18

The evidence had shown that the
dropped from scaffolding twenty
feet above the surface OF the groun(
had fallen on q mans shoulder aut
broken bone. but the jury decided
that the victim had no cause of action
The falling of the brick had no nece&
sary connection with the accident
Gentlemen" said the judge Il nev
er heard of such a verdict. You utter
ly ignore the existence of the law OF
gravita ton"
That law, your honor answered.
the foreman of the jury, lis SO old that
we decided not TO consider it. It's oh.
solete Chicago Tribune
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18
A.. VICTORIOUS WOUND.
The Hard Luck That Was Handed Ou,
to the Old Netaran

to the Old Veteran
On one of The volunteer ranges in
the north of England is well known
old Irish sergeant who has charge.
1t may be mentioned that he went
through three wars the Crimean. the
ludian mutiny and the Chinese and
during the whole II that time never
received single wound.
Old W. as he is called. occasionally
acts as a marker nj the targets. and
his after recklessncSs has become
provcrb
He has been known IT, walk forth
from behind the manteiet without the
slightest warning and touch up bulls
eye which did not ptlite satisfy him or
to note the exact position of a shot
At all rcmonstrances he would sniff
contemptuously
"Me be shot? Me?' he would ask
"Why. I've bin through three war-rs
and was niyer shot yet. Pah. Phwats
Il bit O lead dying through the air."
And he would assume an air OF dis
gust
1t actually occurred however, at
last and he was shot through the
shoulder
For moment as frequently hap
pens with rife shots. such is their ter
rible force. he did not know he was
struck: then when he observed the
blood streaming down his sleeve he
commenced TO walk down the range,
irb IN, tho limo nf
1t was seen that something was
wrong and they hurried 10 meet him.
AS he did so he tottered and had to be
carried
Shot he groaned, with a look of
shame. shot and by Saturday after
noon Soldiar"-London Tit-RitS.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18

An inmate OF Sailors Snug HarbOI
in speaking of the ceremony connected
with crossing the line" when Father
Neptune presides over the initiation Of
the men who have never crossed the
equator, said:
Il got my Introduction to old Nep-
tune while | was in the merchant Ser{-
ice. ] got my lather and shave AMI
ducking thirty years ago and heipc |
initiate many seafaring men and land
men since then. With hot tar handy .
Neptune'S crew often took liberties
which would not be allowed on boarl
a man-of-war. The skipper used "a
look on from aloft. but he was blind a>
a bat to things that be did not wish to
see, and the men knew enough to make
no complaint l know that ! was ma
clear through at what | got. bur ] con
tented myself with taking it out of the
next man"
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18
To-day we want to talk to
YOU about ffCatarrh cures"

During the past few months we have
been publishing what some of our good
friends have called "heart-to-heart talks"
on patent medicines
That name suits us all right-'heart-
to-heart talks" is just what we have
intended. There can't be anything more
serious to sick man or sick woman
than his ailment and the remedies he or
she takes to cure it.
Our talks have been 'heart-to-heart"
Every word we have printed has been
written IN absolute earnestness and sim
certify, and judging from what our Gus
toners tell us, we have not been talking
in vain We are convinced that our
trankness has been appreciated, and that
our suggestions have been Welcomed
which naturally encourages us to con-
tinue
To-day, and perhaps for some time to
come, we want to talk about that big
class of remedies known generally as
"catarrh cures
Broadly speaking these are the patent
medicines that have been the chief tar
gets for the attacks of the Ladies'
Home Journal" "Collier's Weekly" and
other magazines which are waging such
lively warfare against patent medicine
abuses.
As we have pointed out in previous
talks, it is not our business to pass judg
ment on the crusade of these we'll
known, highly-respected publications.
The public alone must be the judge and
jury. Our business, as we see it, is to
carry in stock a complete line of patent
medicines, and to sell those medicines at
the lowest possible price.
We sell hundreds-yes, thousands Of
bottles of so-called 'catarrh cures" and
know nothing of their ingredients. The
manufacturers advertise them, the public
demands them we order them from the
manufacturers, and sell them at the low
est price That is absolutely as far as
our knowledge goes The manufacturer
keeps his formula a secret. 1t may be
good. or it NAV Motive don't know, and
we have no means of finding out
Naturally, we would rather sell rem
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18

what do you want o the EDITOR"
asked the office boy blocking up the
doorway.
Il have a manuscript poem" said
the long haired caller, which | wish
10 submit for his inspection"
The office boy closed the door, but re
appeared a moment later.
"Nothiu' dom We amt printn' no
poetry now" he said, samming the
door ia the callers face.
Bard OUT" exclaimed the poet, tear
ing bis hair.
Chestnut" yelled the boy over the
partition. I've heard that 'un before. ="
-CMcaGo Tribune.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18

A man who died recently in the
north of England and had been living
a dishonest life under the cloak of re
ligion, wishing to pose as a good man
TO the last, said 10 those around him:
'All is bright before me-
Aye" said one of those present
whom he had swindled out of a sum of
money. an in abeat ten minntS
theau'll be near enoof TO see tn blaze
Manchester Guardian
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18
Soldiers and Sailors Bank Deposits

Its odd the different sources of
bank deposits" remarked bank of
fetal. For example" he said, eve re
ceiye thousands Of dollars every year
from Cleveland men in the army and
navy. The amounts range from 50 "a
month from privates to $50 or more
from some of the officers.
Most of this is sent to us direct by
the paymaster of the army or navy.
as the case may be, Just now we are
getting lot Of money from men in the
navy on this cruise to the Pacific The
paymaster makes out a list Of the
various deposits and sends along
check 10 cover the total amount Thus
the men draw their pay and deposit ii
without ever seeing II, Their pass
books in good many cases are left
right here Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18

$50 this is your wildly advertised
dollar table d'hote dinner, Is it?' said
the indignant would be diner as he
pushed aside an entree which he
could not masticate why, this Is the
last place in the world | would recon
mend to friends"
Don't blame you, sir" said the sad
faced waiter. Send your enemies
here New York Press.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18

Mrs. knicker Henry why did you
leave your shoes on the stairs last
night Knicker (dazed. but inspired
English custom. III dear. Left 'em t.
be blackeds-puek
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18

Il hear thar your husband is critic,
ally i'll, Mrs. Tiff" said Mr.. Gummey
Yes, he IS. He criticises the doctor
and he criticises the nurse. and he crit.
icises me. Oh, he's critically I'll, all
right. Judge
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18
No Option.

Barber pausing in the mutilation)--
VIII you have close shave. sir? We
tim with a gasp)-If | get out of this
chair alive, / shall certainly consider
II very close shave.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18
Poor Soldier.

Bill-It is said that Alexander the
Great when on a campaign ate the ra-
lions OF common soldier Jlll-And
did the poor soldier get nothingt-
Yonkers Statesman.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18

JackI am afraid that If / ask you
to be my wife you will treat my pro-
posal as a joke, Molly-But ali iok Is
are not rejected. Jack.
The Waxahachie daily light. [volume] (Waxahachie, Tex.) 1894-current, 1908-03-18

The supreme excellence is simplicity
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1908-08-01
a GaIIant's Plant.

1T is a dull, gloomy day, and I feel
like knocking, so here goes, writes
Gallant Man" to the Globe. 81 often
read criticisms of young men OF
Atchison who ride around town alone,
and seldom take the girls and being
a man who does it l wish to give my
defense. My hours out of the office
are limited, and / began my driving
career by taking some girl every
night If / asked her to go, and said
| would be at her house by 6:45, L
found when 1 got there that | had to
sit out in front till 1880, and some
times longer. The neighbors on their
porches watched me, and | could see
them laughing. If / waited a long
time l felt that they regarded me as
patient chump and if [ drove off
without the girl as an ill-natured
bear. In the meantime the daytime,
so precious to man shut up in an
office all day. was fleeing. This ex-
plains why | now go alone or take
man with me. A man doesn't keep
me waiting while he powders his nose
or puts new laces in his shoes. =
From the Atchison Globe
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1908-08-01
Taking the Presidents Picture
William Hullinger of Palisades Visits
Oyster Bay and Photographs
Mr. Roosevelt.

William Hollinger went to Oyster
Bay August 3 to make some photo
graphic sittingS of President Roose-
welt. He carried a helper with him,
but the latter was forced to remain in
the village, as the secret service men
would not allow him to go with Mr..
Hollinger. The President was not in
when the photographer arrived, but
soon came in and ten negatives were
made The room chosen was the exc
cutive office, and work was COM
menced as soon as Mr.. Roosevelt
entered He had been out cunning,
and came in with his gun in his hand.
He wore a collar, but no tie, and was
photographed without a coat, the pic
lures being made for sculptor who
is to make a medallion of the Presl-
dent. The negatives were made with
out any preparation, beyond the
brushing of Mr.. Roosevelts hair, the
pictures showing the latter in shreds
or streakS, being wet from perspira-
ton, and shows the comb marks
clearly.
The sculptor wanted profile views
mostly. and the photographs show
such extraordinary modelling from the
proper distribution of shadows that
there should be no difficulty in secur-
ing a speaking likeness of unusual
value 1t was necessary to make the
photographs without eye glasses, and
the pictures, while showing the Presi-
dent to good advantage, makes him
appear far more youthful looking
than usual He chatted with Mr.. Hol-
linger very pleasantly, and the entire
work did not consume over twenty
minutes.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1908-08-01
Elmer Dwiggins' Successful Sales.

Elmer Dwiggins has brought good
luck to Palisade in most of the sales
of lots he has made, in the way of
substantial results He sold the lots
on which Mrs. George H. Mansfield
has built a handsome residence, now
occupying it, He sold the V. B. Kelley
lot on which the latter has built an
attractive residence, and the Amund
Nilsson home in Anderson avenue is
on lots sold by Mr.. Dwiggins, adj
mitted to be one of the handsomest
homes in Palisade, and which was
built by Nils Paulson. the local build
ing expert. And last, but not least,
Mr.. j. L. MCGEE is to build an elegant
house in Washington avenue, corner
of Dorincourt road, on property sold
by Mr.. Dwiggins. More of the same
kind of success to him.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1908-08-01

neck sure,'' is the way thousands talk
about him, yet Capt. Boneless Jones,
or NerveleSS Jones, or 'WreckleSs'
Jones, or Don't-Care Jones, or Boom
erang Jones, or just plain Jones'
Jones' or any old kind of Jones' just
so its Jones on agoing up ant
up, and up, till he's come pretty near
Yes, Jones is a Bird And if he isn't,
who the thunder and blazes ever was
afore him? Some unfeelng wretch
that Sunday afternoon of July 26,
when he Tit" on the tip end of tn
Charters home, called him Darius
Green" Jones, but that kind of a title
doesn't suit our own Jones of the
immortal 'Pcom erano" Jones he
wanted to wait that famous Sun
till the wind died down, but the
crowd chafed at the bit and wouldn't
have it.
There's a lot of wind up there,
he insisted. raising his eyes high to-
ward the heavens, but when the peo-
pie kept on chatting and stamping
feet, he Just threw the reins away and
let the Boomerang sail away. 1t is
now ancient his DRY how he went al
most like an arrow in northwest di-
rection till he almost tore no trolley
company and demolished the forests
Of Fountainbleau with his big old
drag rope, then let his sliding ballast
rope snag into a tree top, tear big
ripping hole in the end of the gas
bag, till the thing tilted up beam ends
on and came down as gentle as a fall
ing leaf in autumn upon the aforesaid
villa de Charters Well, of course
the natives and all of their visiting
friends hadn't never" seen anything
like a balloon cavorting through the
air like a snorting runaway horse, so
they craned their necks and ran and
IAN till they came TO where Jones was
perched up on the corner of the
house, There he stood grinning with
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1908-08-01
PALISADE HUMOR

Little Allen Carson was emo
pretty little Eleanor Brown ~
lawn. Eleanor said sometime I
the word with" was used h.
ing only a little tot it came ont,
''Aw!" said Allan, you mun4
wiz, you must say with. CAM
say with p"
Eleanor thought a moment
puckered up her little mouHI
said:
We'll, when you can't say
you shant say wiz. " And She A
her complete triumph.
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1908-08-01
Tribulations of the
Airship "Boomerang.

glee at his catastrophe. 'Now, amt
this thriller' he said to The
Palisadian man who had seen the
big cigar boring through the air from
his front porch, and who ran to give
first aid to the injured. And thriller
it was. Jones never showed a nerve.
Boys he said, Who's got a
camera?" He wanted to be caught
in the act of trying to enter the Char
ter's home through the transom, and
he was. Well, to make a long story
short there was tremendous excite
ment in Palisade that evening. There
were several thousand people there,
anyhow, and all of them tried to get
onto the lawns of the Bulls and
CHARTERS.
And the excitement of that balloon
fiasco will never die out. People
won't forget it. Some of the crowd
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1908-08-01
Man on the Bridge.

DR.. F. j. Quigley is fond of a
story. He tells this one about
who asked a company if any
them were fond of a good a
drum.
YES" said one of the part
ga man was standing on b
twelve feet long, over a strean
man being in the exact centre
was his name?'
Everyone thought of tho
reas ons, and conjured up Brdg8
Footman, and other things.
You are all wrong" said
questioner.
We'll, what was his name, d
asked several in chorus.
Smith" he replied.
How do you make that OUT
His fathers name was Smtl
Palisadian. [volume] (Cliffside Park, N.J.) 1906-current, 1908-08-01
AN UNEQUAL SYSTEM.

Among the inexcusable Inequalities
of the iniquitous iniquisitions of an
imposing trust may be mentioned a
ruling of the New York and New
Jersey Telephone Company. A sub
scriber in New York, wishing to call a
party in Bergen county. and the lat
ter not being in, the call must be paid
for just the same. Now, on a long
distance call. say from New York to
Philadelphia, if the party called for
is not in no charge is made. Why this
unjust discrimination? If the COM
pany wanted to do the right thing
it would not take a subscribers
money without giving quid pro quo.
We pause for a reply.