davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
DISTORTED SENSE OF HUMoR
Peter Peterson O TO Has wife
He IA Dead and Explains Mat
ters in Police Court.

Peter Petersen. 12O6 Atlas street, has not
gone into history as the greatest, nor one
Of the greatest Of American humorists-
Mr.. Peterson's IDEA OF humor differs
radically from the popular conception and
when he goes 70 play an innocent joke the
thing becomes SO serious that he lands
IN police court. At least that did happen
Saturday evening Peterson thought he
would have a little fun At his wtfs's eK-
pense, Calling ND his wife at home. after
visiting several different saloons. he repre-
scented himself 10 be q friend OF your
husband" and told her that ne had been
killed in a railroad accident IN some rail-
road yard. Soon the police and coroner
we're notified Of the supposed death and
tried 10 locate Peterson's body and learn
the particulars Of the accident.
When the railroad Officers denied that
any such accident had occurred. An effort
was maze 10 locate the person who had
started the report, and with the ala Of the
telephone company ID was found 70 be
none other thar the opposed dead. Peter
son.
In police court Monday. when asked by
Juoge Crawford why he had done II.
Peterson replied with a smile.
i don't know your honor. ! guess Il was
the whiakey that did II"
He was fined 81 and costs ana told moi
10 announce ma death again unless he
really had been bumped off" Ana Peter
son solemniy promised that hs would not.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
CONDUCTOR Has SOME LOGIC
Replies with Argument 10 Crowd
Roasting Him for Passing Up
Pretty Passenger.

She was sitting on the pavement at Six
teenth and FarnRm streets, early Monday
morning. How # all happened nobody knew
except possibly the conductor. He seemed
TO be q rather hard-hearted man, for he
Just gave two bells and his car sped on
down the hill. One chicken-heartsd ana
indignant passenger told him be thought
II was q dirty shame to go OFF and leave
her sitting there. Others thought likewise,
as they looked back al the disappearing
form OF = beauty in distress"
Now If you're All Trough" said the
conductor d-yly. TN give you my side Of
it. Every blamed morning that air young
woman rides on my ear she nearly causes
me to throw a fit by hopping off at the
near crossing while the car il going a
right smart clip. I've told her and told her
not to do IT, and Saturday when I warned
her she gave me B rather ssucy little
smile and threw the double scare into me
by jumping off backwards. Oh she's an
athlete all right on dry land, but as you
see. she main worth a fig on ice. Now
she's got just what was coming 10 her"
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
ONE BOY GLAD HE is LIVING
John savidEe, SON Of Peoples Church
Pastor, Has Thrilling Ex-
perfeHce.

Rev. Charles W. Savidge, pastor Of Peo-
pies church. wished for q few minutes
the other day that 3 friend had not given
him a calf.
A good man ont about Hanscom park had
a yeErling calf ne didn't want and wouldn't
Bee 10 be killed, 30 he asked M. SavidEe
If he wanted It. Mr.. savidge did He
hitchsd his horse TO his buggy. took his
boy John, II years Of age, and drove out
to get the calf. John took the reins and
drove the buggy to which the calf was
hitohsd by a rope behind The minister
walked to urge the calf On
On the way hOme-Mr. SavidEe lives In
the north part Of the city-the calf dis
covered something that didn't look good
to II, 90 it concluded 10 get opt Of the
way. It made a dive for one Of the rear
buggy wheels from the side and It's aim
was 30 good that he went clear through
the wheel. turning the buggy completely
upside down with John underneath.
The horse was still hitched TO the front
Of the buggy and the calf to the rear.
Let go the lines" shouted Rev. NJ.
savidge in despair TO his boy for whose
life he feared. But John didn't need that
timely advice. He let 90 the lines before
his father called and that is probably the
reason JOIN Savidge is alive and well to-
dHy.
The boy got a scrape or two on the head
and hand, but otherwise he is all RICH;
and q second Thanksgiving service has
been held al the sariagt household.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
MINISTER ACTS AT LAST
For Three Weeks c. w Kaley Pleads
with JndEe sutton 10 Per-
form His Marriage.

Charles W. Haley, cousin Of Jacob L
Haley Of Omaha and Charles W. Haley Of
Red Cloud. and Grace V. Light OF Omaha
were married Monday morning and mar
ried by a minister despite their protesta-
tons.
They wanted Judge Sutton 10 marry
them. The judge objects TO marriages by
cry other than q minister and always en-
eeavors 10 induce people who come 10 him
to have the knot tied by a minister. H
argued with Mr. HALEY for three weeks
hut without avail, finally promising 10 Of
ficiate al his marriage Monday. But the
Judge made one last effort He asked Rev
p. L Loveland. p. D., TO CONS 10 his court
and when Mr.. Haley and his bride ap-
peAred the judge and the minister com
bined induced them 10 let the marital knot
be tied by the minister
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
BOY DIVES FOR HIS SKATE
south Omaha Lee strips ana Go~s
Down late Lev water fer
HIS sIiaer.

Eers. brave man. is a question Tor you
20 anEwer.
If you were skating cut on the Missouri
river on a cold December DAY and one u
your skates should happen 10 20 through
the ice. would you 60 through after 81.
Wei. there's a boy only 10 years Of age.
down al South Omaha WHO would. AT least
he did jus5 that thinE.
Grant Frusiev. Who lives with his
parents on Missouri avenue. was out Ekat-
ing the other day with some other boys On
the river. where the water wa shallow ana
the Ire thin. Directly the ice broke and
one OF Grant's skates went through the
hole.
Skates don't grow on trees in Nebraska
not IN the winter time, anyway. and boys
PANT skate very well with only one skate
A problem presented itself. The other
boys gathered sround Grant and offered
their sympathy, but sympathy wouldn't re-
cover the skate.
What can You dog" asked one boy Of
less nerve and resource than Grant Frus-
lev. Your skate is gone and you can't
get It. that's AL"
That amt all. either" snortsd Grant
You fellows build q fire and III show
you how to get that skate"
The fire was built. To the utter amaze
ment Of some Of the boys, Grant stripped
Owed down into the icy water and came
up with the skate il his hand
"Thst's what ! can do" calculated
Grant. splitting the water out Of his mouth
and rushing 70 the fire.
But when Grant got home and told his
mother what had happened his mother
nearly tainted She has not taken her eyes
OFF Grant vet. fearing every minute to see
him stricken with pneumonia But ND 10
the present writing. Mr.. Pneumonia haf
mi arrfvpd
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
W COUNTY SALARIES GO UP
Clerk of the Board and s~uperinten-
dent of Poor Farm Get
More Pay.

Salary raises were made by the Board
OF County commissioner in session Mon
day morning, the beneficiRries Of the raise
being Henry Z. Ostrom, clerk Of the
board, and Andrew Farrar, superintendent
OF the poor farm. The salary Of the former
was raised from 500 a month 10 So q
month and OF the latter from so Il month
TO 500 a month. The superintendent also
gets his board.
h board adjourned At noon to meet on
Friday. Then II will again take up the
adoption Of the plans for the proposed
q. .000 court house.
The annual convention of the Association
OF County Commissioners and Supervisors
will be held IN Hastings on Tuesday.
wednesday and Thursday of this week
commissioner Bruning and Trainor will
represent Douglas county Al the meeting
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
AGREES WITH THE BOY
Thinks Best Place for Young
Eter and VIII Try 10 send
Him There.

Guy Anderson, a 1-ye6r-old boy whom
the probation officers took from the or
phan asylum and placed in a good home in
Omaha, Was before the juvenile court Mon
DAY morning.
His guardians reported 10 the Officers
that they had given Guy a pair Of skates
and he had sold them and stayed out al
night.
'TwhEt did you do with the money!
asked the judge.
Bowed il in on the moving picture
shows" was the answer.
Your guardian does not want YOU any
more Nov what are you going 10 dOs'
inquired Judge Rsdick.
On. ] ANT ike the city and him il
IL the best thing for me 10 get out on :
farm"
The judge was inclined 10 think the boy
VIA right and a phase In the country VIII b
found for him.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
NO HIGH BALLS FOR BRIDE
VIE Groom Comes Loaded with
Them and Certificate Bride
Tears GerffAcat~ "a Pieces.

Say. judge, can you give me a new mar
riage certificEte?" This question. com
ing from L mai whom Judge COckereH had
married ana presented win a brand new
giit-edged marriage oertificste only the DAY
before, caused the judge 20 adjust me
glasses and sit up and take notice.
"A new certificate" be exclaimed, why.
where's the one ! gave you yesterday p"
The man produced some torn bits Of
paper and meekly replied:
'It's been in a wreck, jndge. Suppose II
mostly my fault, but really ! never
thought she'd raise 50 much HI over me
just taking on a few sociRble high balls,
being as it was my wedding night. But
say, honest, judge, If y0an only give me
one more eertfiuats III go and get It
framed, and never, never, never drink
again"
He got the certificate on the express con
dition that II would be revoked If he broke
his pledge.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
THREE BEL0W-C0LDEST YET
Mercury Gets ON the ether side Of
Zero for First Time This
Season.

Three below zero was the temperature in
Omaha Monday al Z a. m. That is the
coolest for the season thus far and the
first time the mercury has got below zero.
That was the official government registrG-
tion. some private Thermometers regis-
tered 6 TO 10 below.
The cold wave flag went up at the fed
eral building At noon Sunday and the de-
cline Of the temperature was steady. II
was a above at noon and during the night
ranged around 8 10 10 above, continuing 70
fall until al : O'Clock, which is usually the
coolest hour Of the twenty-fOur. it had
slipped into the 3-below niche.
But Weather ForeeRstsr Welsh says ne
was just trying hiE instruments ana viii
Al once turn on the mild air until after
the National Corn exposition.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
JOHN WILSON LAID AT REST
Aged Man ia Buried nj Forest Lawn
Cemetery, Services Mt Pam
fly Home.

John Wilson. Y years Of age. died satur-
DAY evening al hts home, 2e12 Franklin
street. Of bronchial pneumonia and was
buried this afternoon al Forest Lawn
cemetery. His funeral services were held
al the Wilson home by Rev. Edwin Hart
jerks. D. D., pastor Of thu First Presby-
terrain church. Of which Mr.. Wilson was Il
member. Mr.. Wilson leaves a wife and
four married children, two q whom. W. a.
Wilson and Mrs. John G. Brown, reside in
Omaha, ana two in Los Angeles. Mr..
Wilson was born in Paisley. Scotland. No
vember 2, 1886. He came to Omaha from
St Joseph, Mo. in 1886. and engaged in the
wholesale millinery business, and was in
that business when he died. Mr.. Watson
was active In church affairs and Ii mar OF
many ardent friends.
The balDearers We're W. 4. Holman.
Hugo Schmidt, L. NJ. Schneider, II. B.
Weatherbee, Mr.. Daily and Walter A.
Hansen.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
BRIEF CITY NEWS

Rave Root Print n
Rndolph y. swobodA- Public Aocountant
Morand'a lessons An asne1ng. Tel d 1911
Rinsha-t, PHOTOGRAPHER. 18th & Farnsm
Bowman, IL N. JIG. Douglas shoe, SS.bO.
Pa Rourks for holiday candies and CT
Ears. SIS s. 18th.
Equitable Idfs-Policies sight drafts ~
maturity. IL u Nicely. manager. Omaha
W. c. Runss1, the EerperhOer. IL still
doing business at BIS south Fifteenth
street. Entrance from jackson strest.
Tor xnAs-GAs or electric reading
lamps make acceptable presents. Prices
reasonable. Burgess-oranden Co. next TO
gas office. 1871 Howard St
Cruelty az Grounds for piv~0ros-Petitioh
for divorce mas been filed by Rachel Il.
Brown hom George F. Brown On the charge
OF c~rselty. They were married N Curnang.
Ia, in 16Sb.
Your Money and InFurHnos Psps<s
should be kept Ia q fire and gurglAr
proof safe deposit hox in the American
Safe DEPOSIT vaults IN The Bee building
Boxes rent for only - q year.
Or. Ktrsoh on Jew and Amsricaa"--
DR.. Emil G. Hirsch will arrive in Omaha
Tuesday morning Il viii speak in the
evening at Temple Israel, where his sd-
dress win be the second number OF the
series Of the lecture course. Or. Hirsoh
Will talk on Jew and American" Miss
Myrtle Moses viii sing q contralto solo.
accompanied by v. c. Bennett. OrganisL
The hour Of the lecture is 8 o'clock
suss for Injury NJ Motor oGr-suit
for damages in the Bum Of $4,000 Was
fined in district court Monday by Leonard
Bgel against the Union Pacific Railroad
company and William r. McKesn. jr. Dgsll
alleges in his petition that while in the
employ OF the railroad company a. n sec
ton hand he was knocked down ana run
over by a McKeen motor car ON April s.
Is96. He had never seen one OF the gaso-
line motors before and he alleges that
IL was running backwards when II lift
him without warning, the injuries sustained
necessitating the amputsti0n Of his LEFT
arm. Mr.. McKee, was operating the
motor car. the plaintiff alleges in his petit
ton.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
HEAD MASHED BETWEEN CARS
svttchHnnn I'm COuacfl Bluffs Meets
Instant Death while Maxi
ing COuplinE.

As Carl c. Hansen, a switchman in the
employ Of the Rock Island AT Council
Bluffs. was u~nc1upling a NAH car fom
Rock Island train No S at $50 Monday
n orrtng N the Co-nrn Bluffs yRres he got
MS head he ween the bumpers and was tn
st8ntly killed.
Mr.. Hansen was e years Of age and lived
at .8m South Twelfth street. Counctl Bluffs.
Fe leaves q wife and two children. Re
was a member Of the local order of o d
Fellows and OF the swifchmsn's union. An
inquest VIII be held Tuesday morning.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
INDIAN WEDDING AT THE EXPO
sioux Couple VIII he Married by n
sioux Preacher at the Corn
show.

A unique wedding ceremony will be per
formed IN the last day Of the National
Corn exposition, when a native son and
daughter Of Nebraska will be united in
marriage. They are full-blood Sioux In
dams and win be married according to the
Indian customs. Their names are John
Runswith and Belle GrBycow.
When this wedding was first planned Il
was thought il would be an easy matter
TO secure two applicants for the chance
to get the financial yriEeE offered, but the
task was a hard one. Scouts were sent
over the reservations Of Nebraska and
South Dakota bat the matchmaker found
their task harder than they expected. Two
young people were finally found willing
to let Cupid have a chance and the large
stage Of the National Corn exposition win
be the scene Of the marriage.
After the stars in the love drama had
been found. the next question was where
TO find IN indian preacher. problem
bids fair to be solved AT once and In q
quite unexpected manner.
As Captain William McCune was about
his duties as manage of the Foley billiard
parlors on Douglas street Monday IN
walked two huge Sioux Indians. McCune
knew them. They were Nick Black Elk
and Jim Grass, formerly with Buffalo Bits
show, the latter as an Interpreter.
We are travelling e~vRngelistE now and
are doing what we can toward uplifting
our people and bringing them TO q high
civilization, said Jim Grass.
Well. you are just the boys we're look
ing for" said McCune, who told them OF
the wedding plans.
Jim Grass carried credentials for both.
ana they may be induced TO remain over
to perform the wedding ceremony, although
they are scheduled TO appear next week
on the Sioux reservation, having spent last
week on the winnebRgo reservation.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
COLD NO BAR TO WARRIORS
an the snow Ehd wind I've Men
FtEht I'm the street at
MidntEhL

In spite Of the snow n cold weather
al midnight Saturday. John johnson Of
I71s Cunning street and c p. Wilkinson Of
sG4 Burt street. thought they had suf-
ficient reason for participating In a bat
tie royal In the middle Of 8 d0wn-toxn
street with their coats off snd the wind
playing IN their hair. However, Pztrol
man Allen hove IN sight and rescued the
glsoiators from each other before any dam
age was done. ana the men were taken
20 the police station. In police court Mon
day morning Johnson was fined s and
costs and Wilkinson VA discharged. It
being evident 20 Judge Crawford from the
explorations q the men hat Jahas1n haG
started the trouR
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08

Mrs. Mckee appearing in court with her
two little girls whom she said she was IN
able 10 support. and that her husband
gave no aid.
D You want to have them sdopted?"
asked the Judge
1T isn't a case Of what ! want but II
that's the best thing for the children, ! will
consent" she answered
II the consent Of the father can be OBJ
tanned the children viii be given home for
adoption
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08

q trip 10 Egypt. II satisfactory arrange
ments can be made for sRilinE al that
time. they VIII leave about the last OF
February. They Will be accompanied by
Mrs. HimsbauEh AND Mrs. Grace Guiou.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08

and WDuDds are healed without danger a
blood poisoning ny BuekleH's Arntza sElrs.
tbs hsaling Wunder. &c Beaten DrnE On.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08

A want al" in The Bee stops many
'1Sng-felt wants"
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
CHAP HAS No USE FOR SCHOOL
Says he Wants to Be Tailor and
Wont Need Learning.
BUT JUDGE THINKS OTHERWISE
Fellow VIE ts Provided with Fuel
ana Deb Takes the Former,
hut PASSES Up the
Latter.


8 bstele Aho heHUs Nae 80
ME court were OH Q Ane eNF Ms A
Judge Hedick cohuucteo ue "@s "a
cases.
Harry AckernlAh Wa PreS~ Hs
court by Truant Orficer Ginsoh' VINO eA-
planned that the boy had nelther ACQUIRED
or inherited a strong ntipalh 10 any
and all things involved IN reaching the
young idea how to shoot he had MOI
gone TO school last year and little ths
year. The boy attributed last years de-
linquency TO the fact thai he had been vac
cinatsd. This year, he said, his father had
been III, hut he was unable to say in what
particular he uninsured to has sire py stay
ing out Of schDoL
Don't you like your teacher" asked the
Judge.
.Tsssem-but-but-"
Don't you want to so to school"
mo 1 want 10 be q tailor, and school
don't do no good for that" replied the
ohaa
The Judge toid him that when ne grew
-, y. o,pla he a tailor. but for the pres
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
Surprise Party.
Pi Beta Phi Alumnae.

The p Beta Phi lumna were enter
tanned SATURDAY afternoon at the home Of
Miss Kate Thomas. A business meeting
was held. st which plans were made to
give q Christmas party during the holi-
DAYS for the active members, who VIII
be at home from college. During the lat
Ter part of the afternoon a luncheon wRs
served.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
Observation-Disclosures.

The marriage Of Miss Louise Shadduck-
daughter Of Mrs. Alice shadduck, TO Mr.
Edgar Rudolf Zabriskie, took place at Trim
fty cathedral Sunday evening, Bishop A L
Williams officiating. After a western we'd
cling trip they viii be at home IN an apart
ment in the Davidge block.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
~Orpheum Party.

Miss Faith Hoel was hostess al an enjoy
able matinee party Monday afternoon 81
the orpheurn. The guests present were
Mrs. George Charters Of Chicago. Miss
Marie Gregoire Of Dubuque. Ia. Mrs. ZoIs
Delecker, Miss Pauline Schenck, Mrs. J.
H. Evans and Miss Hoel.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08
Club Meetings.

Mrs. Arthur Remington entertained the
members Of the Monday Bridge club this
week at her apartments at the WinonA.
Mrs. Clement Chase was hostess this
week for the meeting Of the Monday Bridge
Luncheon club. An Of the membe wers
lreHent and Mrs. O. T Eastman was tbs
guest Of the afternoon.
The H. C. L. club was entertained Friday
hy Mrs. W. Bryan. The prizes wee wor
by Mrs. A Nj. Jenkins, NJ s w. M. kirk-
endan and Mrs W. W. Alien. The mex
meeting win be in two weeks at the boIHs
Of Ms. Z. T. MCGrath-
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08

Mrs. T. P Kfrkendsn returned Sunday
morning from q fortnights visit with
relatives in Toledo. ONO. Mr.. klrkendall
and Master Burdette returned last week
after spending Thanksgiving in Toledo.
Miss Julia Meyer Of Chicago is the guest
OF Miss Helen Furth.
Mr.. Edgar EDDY returned Sunday after
a two years absence on the Pacific coast,
and win spend the holiday season with his
parents. Mr.. and Mrs George B. Bddy.
54S south Twenty-fourth avenue.
Miss Martha TaliaferrO Of ROssviIle, III,
arrived Monday 10 spend several days. the
guest Of Miss Pearl Fitzgerald.
Mr.. and Mrs. c. n. Dietz are planning
Omaha daily bee., 1908-12-08

This week opens auspiciously with the
large debut reception and dancing party
given by Dr. and Mrs. r s Gilmore
Monday evening at the Rome hotel in
honor Of their daughter. Miss Amy Gil
moe There was a large assist ng party.
which includes Miss Glmore's guests. Miss
ORourke Of California and Miss Peggy
Poileys Of Minneapolis. the ~debutRntes ana
a large number OF other friends. This Is
the FIRST debut party this season to in
clude both a reception and ball. and the
cOmmodious ball room at tire Rome was
none too large Tor the number Of guests.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-02
NATIONAL GUARD MEET.
It Is Expected to Be the Best Ever
Held

Considerable interest is being display ed
by the members of the District National
Guard in the ninth annual indoor meet
of the Athletic Association of the Dis
trict National Guard, which is to be held
in the National Guard Armory Han, Fri
day evening, March -.
The athletes of the guard have begun
training. and it is expected the meet this
year will far surpass that of last season.
which was the best ever given under the
auspices of the association.
The events for National Guardsmen
only will be: Fifty-yard dash. novice;
50-yard dash. consolation: Ih-yard dash,
championship Athletic Association. n. u.
D. C.: 100 yard hurdle, championship Atl1-
letic Association. n. G.. ID. C.: 220-yard
hurdle. championship Athletic Associa-
ton. n. G. ID. c.: 220-yard dash. cham
pionship Athletic Association, n. G. ID.
C.: 440-yard dash. championship Athletic
Association. n. CT. d. c.: SSo-yard run.
championship Athletic Association n. G.
D. c.. one-nlile run. championship Ath-
latlc Association. n. g. d. c.: shot put.
1G-pound. championship Athletic Asso-
citation. n. G. ID. c.: potato race. three
leg race 80 yards: obstacle race, team of
two; company battalion and regimental
relays; wall scaling. team of four
First and second prizes are To be pre-
scented i'm each individual event, and d
trophy and individual prizes in tse relay
races and wall scaling. No one will b.
allowed to compete in the games who
has not been regularly enlisted prior to
February IL.
There will be open relays for athletic
clubs schools. colleges. Y. Nj. {. A. and
for boys under twelve years. The events
will include: Fifty-yard dash. novice: 81
yard dash. District of Columbia cham
pionship; 22G-yard dash. District of Co
lumbia championship; relay races.