Los Angeles herald., 1908-09-06

- nOuueu
II suppose before long he'll be grating corn on
to beans and getting succotash, he continued spec
ulatyely And then he'll fix his apple trees sos
tney bear pertaters thereby saving all the trouble
of digging EN-.
Il shouldn't be at all surprised" assented. The
wonders that science each day unfo1ds are almost
unbelievable"
He nodded profoundly at my very trite remark.
Yes" he agreed. "And that same science is
folding up a few wonders too, that we don't never
near nothing about. Take my friend Vertigo Smith,
Tor instance"
"Wno was he?" queried interestedly.
You never heard of himY" responded my visa
Wis., as one who asks a question. knowing before
hand the answer.
NO." replied
And you amt lonesome" he observed Lots
o. people never heard of him. and never will. But
in his way, he has this Burbank party skinned
league I'll tell yer about him If yer got timo" he
volunteered.
had the time, plenty OF it; and so said. Where
at taking long draught from the glass at mis- ell
bow, and wping his trailing mustache on the back
of his hand he began:
Back in ninety-nine 1 prospecting around
through Californy. looking for gold but finding
nothing but sore feet and thirst. Fate sure
handing me out a deal from the bottom of the deck,
and was reduced at length to burrer loaded
with shovel and the habliments was standing
in. 1 retained said shovel and raiments only be-
cause couldn't sell em and said burrer only be-
pause couldn't give him away.
well, one afternoon I'm tramping along with
despair in my heart and even less in my stomach,
wondering weakly whether there's enough meat on
the burrer to pay for mending the teeth I'm liable
to break picking 1t off, when suddenly comes to a
turn in the trail and there before me spreads veg
etationous valley full OF the most fusome verdure
that ever you see.
'in the middle of this valley there stands 'dobe
mansion and all around it the most amazing colec-
tion of sheds and shacks that you laid your
lamps There were somo high ones and some
low and some long ones and some short ones.
And what with the house, they all looks like big
Bun Cochin hen surrounded by bunch of the most
Hl-assorted chickens that ever was
However, amt hypercritica Where Tiers
lfre. there's beans, says to myself. And If par
ty desire to eace the visage Nature by
sticking around it lot of i've and ten-cent stone
ednces, 1t amt of my funeral long as l
get a hand-out myself. cit up there, Gehenna,'
says to the burrer; and we prepare to teeter down
into the aforesaid verdant valley
Halfway down the hill there's another bend in
the trail. And comes around this stops
short while the burrer does better-for he
a back somersauit; and then sets there the
shovel too frightened to bat eye.
"The one glimpse I has is plenty sufficient. l
stands back to trying tosmake my convoutions con-
volute
Before me, meanderng saoobriously across the
plain is the worst looking collection of fauna that
ever made merry in an Inebriates Home. 1t
sure psychopathic ward assemblage, and then
some. Four-footed things with wings and two
footed ones without, and birds with hair on en-
and fishes with laigs--great suffering Jemima 1t
was sure enough to make a party pin blue ribbons
on himself until he couldn't out, and take up
his residence permanent in the cellar of the head
quarters OF the w. G. T. u.
with my eyes bugged out SOS you could "a
knocked em OF with stick watched the pro-
cesson out sight and then turned to the burrer.
He was setting there with faraway look in his
eyes talking to himself.
"'Come on, Gehenna, says I, nudging him gently
with my short spikes Les get a our
selves toward yon villa and put an end to this de-
bauch starvation that we've been on; for If were
seeing things like that to-day. tomorrow will be-
y
s1n;111zzEzks !,
GSss Sc = - - ISAn