davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
THE END-SEAT HOG.

From the Washington Post
 Up to this beautiful day in May no one, we believe, has ever run across crea- ture who has boasted of being an end- seat hog The creature has been seen he IS seen too often to be endured, in fact-but he has never acknowledged his identity. When boldly accused of being d hog, he has taken refuge in silence, In sliding along the seat, or in flight. He has instinctively felt that it would Dc dangerous to defy public opinion by declaring himself a hog and then prov ing 1t. But now The Post is able to single out an end-seat hog who actually boasts that he is what he is. It is the Albany Journal that grunts:
 '"The Washington Post has begun to make remarks about the 'end-seat hog Will it kindly tell to what purpose 1t thinks the end seats in open cars should be devoted? We have always believed that they were intended to be used as seats, and that consequently it was not an offense, either against law or ethics, to sit in them"
 To what purpose should end seats be devoted? Why, to the seating of end- seat hogs, of courser It is strange how the monopoly of end seats dulls the wits of some people. The end seat, to all passengers excepting those with bristles. Is chiefly useful for the purpose of sliding over and making room. If the seat Is empty and no passengers are boarding the car there Is no offense, either In law or ethics, In occupying the end seat But the moment these conditions change, the end scatter who sticks to his place becomes, ipso facto, hog-snout, bristles, and all. This fun damental fact is so appal ent that any one but a hog can understand it. The failure of so many passengers to grasp this fact leads us to believe that end seat hoggishness is not mere greed, but the attention of an alienist or a special ist in arrested development rather than that of a pugilist
 If it were possible to abolish end seats we should be in favor of such great reform, but since that Is impracticable We are in favor of attaching sign to the end seat, This space reserved for hogs" If 1t be lawful everywhere ex- cept in the District of Columbia to have jim crow cars, it ought to be law full to have end-seat hog cars. Then, when sudden showers coma up, 1t ought to be the duty of all passengers to hold the end-seat hogs In their places until they have been thoroughly soaked. They should never be permitted to slide over when 1t rains.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Popularity of Johnson.

Governor Johnson of Minnesota makes a splendid impression wherever he goes,' said L. P Richards of Baltimore. "As l passed through Richmond I was told that Johnson made host of friends there, and in Georgia and Alabama he seems to have been most cordially re- ceived. Within the past 10 days every body is saying that Johnson will be the nominee for President in 1912, and it is safe to say that if he does head the ticket the party will be victorious.
 Governor Johnsons rapid rise in popu- lar favor all over the country has made all the republicans sit up and take mo- tice. Having gained such large follow ing in a few weeks would indicate landslide for him four years hence."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
For New Waterworks.

"The surveyors for the proposed wa ter connection between North Birming- ham and the river" said Hugh Friel yesterday, Twill get into the woods in about two weeks. They are planning a long trip, and will lay out complete surveys of all the work necessary, in cluding careful profiles.
 "Our bond issue will be sold when the time comes. We intend to begin work within at least two years. The prosposition is not nearly so gigantic as some believe, and 1t will furnish work for our pipe plants, as well as many laborers.
 "The plant, when completed will furnish Birmingham with a fine water supply, well worthy of the gigantic in- dustrial enterprises that are waiting for it."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

to pass the day and hear Nordica. She paid all their expenses and made good the losses for her management and the theatre. But they do not all travel like Russell.
 Maxine Elliott is another rather husl,v and contented mariner of strange. distant seas. She has been sent out to look for the fortune in the mists of primitive America, and though she is worn and tired and thin, she has had a profitable and gay time in her vagabond year.
 Ethel Barrymore and Maude Adams have been skipping about regardless of hardships into the outskirts of civiliza- tion. The Mantells have played every town surveyed and named and the poor variety vaudevllians have been stranded at all the points of compass not quoted at the weather bureau. Indeed, only the show girls positively refuse to leave their New York flats to travel anywhere this year. Celebrities have all taken to the woods.
 Ethel Barrymore, looking about Is in a blue jumper and plain sailor about two feet wide, leaned over and drove one of
 
 me and said before she smiled:
 T am just in from Lima, O.. ever been there?'
 Jack Barrymore, who was gripping her long elbow from distance, said
 Are you inquiring or punning?"
 Ethel grew limp and smiled, showing all her dimples and some new ones the romping comfort of Lima engagements for months had put into her wonderful face. She has even taken little round and girlish look into that face with the good times she has found between jumps.
 AS I went into the quiet house waiting for Paid in Full the other evening wan, slim little girlish creature reached a trembling hand out to me and fever ishly clutched me- Her smile had some- thing impelling and tragic in it's white- ness. I did not know her until she said saucily:
 Good gracious. you look as you did the night you wore my clothes home in the snowstorm and this is May!'
 It was Blanche Walsh, and she was rat ting her pretty bones through Chicago en route to village with thatre up two flights of stairs. She has been pulled and hauled and pitched about in a perfect frenzy of one-night route-malsing and Blanche is not the sort of star to take ruddy view of that kind of treatment Money does not speak to her after 12 m. She has grown thin to cancellation Her luscious color and crimson lips are whit ened as if with frost and she is just a tired, worn, nervous little person who has a wonderful look of supernatural youth upon her miniature face and a tremor of breakdown in her luscious voice.
 Blanche really at her best is a buxom, radiant creature. with touch of Greek magnifcence which she inherits from an Athenian mother in her Irish brawn. But now she is not like herself, but the wrath the one-night town drudgery and irksome persistence of vagabondage has made of her.
 1T am going to do Resurrection in going home, home home! Boston! Home Is there such a place? With bedroom which does not smell of apples and dining room which Is not redolent of sandwiches and ginger ale! Clean cur tains and windows which will open with out an ax, surcease of the rumble of the night train and ghostly whistles. changing bells and bumpety bumps. May be l won't stay at home when I got there!'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?
Nrom the Montgomery Advertiser.

From the Montgomery Advertiser.
 The Congressional Record of May 23 under announcement of confirmatio by the Senate for that day, contained the name of Oscar R. Hundley to be United States judge for the Northern District of Alabama. AS we had not seen the an- nouncement in the Washington or any other papers, we came to the conclusion that another mistake had been made, and telegraphed to learn the facts. Last night this reply was wired to The Adver- User:
 "Hundley has not been confirmed. Executive clerk for second time within 10 days has made that error. Senate Journal does not show that he has been confirmed"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Southern Colleqes.

''All our southern colleges seem to be flourishing,'' said an ex-professor. '1n most of them the faculties have been strengthened, and the standard of learn ing has been raised.
 "A few years ago not enough attention was paid to the English course. Many young men receiving degrees were less proficient in English than in Latin and mathematics. There has been some im- provement in English, but still the col lege graduate is often handicapped by not having acquired a good English style in writing.
 ''I believe in Latin and Greek and all the other studies that go to make up an educated man, but English must not be neglected. Every college-bred man should be a master of style in English composition. And there was never so great demand for this accomplishment as now. Not only does the professional man need first rate English, but in the industrial world and in the business would generally the man who gets to the top must be able to express himself clearly and convincingly on paper"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Active Iron Market.

''The Birmingham iron market continues active and prices have an upward tenden- cy." said a broker. While $11.50 for No. is the price for large tonnage, it is un- derstood that SIP is asked for rush orders. It seems to be the general opinion that the buying movement will not soon flag If the activity keeps up two or three weeks longer 1t will result in more fur faces going in blast But iron makers will be careful not to increase production unless the demand warrants it."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
A STORY OF BEAU HRuMMEL.

From Lewis Melville's "Beaux of the
 Regency"
 He was encountered in Calais by an old friend. My dear Brummell!" ex- claimed the Englishman, "I am so glad to see you for we had heard in England that you were dead; the report, I assure you, was in general circulation when 1 left"
 Quick as lightning the Beau replied: Mere stock -jobbing, my dear fellow, mere stock -jobbing."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
IN HOTEL LOBBIES
Prominent Steel Officials Here.

T. W. Robinson, second vice president of the Illinois Steel. and G. G. Thorp' third vice president of the same com pany, which is a constituent of the United States Steel corporation, are in Birmingham. Their headquarters are in Chicago. but much of their attention is given to the United States Steels s stupendous construction work at Gary Ind. Mr. Robinson and MT. Thorp have been making a thorough inspection Of the Tennessee company's new steel plant at Ensley
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Warning to Husbands.

Houston, Tex, May N.-"Because my husband would not kiss me good bye." Is the reason alleged to have been given by Mrs. Clara Wesson for drinking two ounces of carbolic acid here today. Ask ing her sister, Mrs. c. L. Pitcher, to hold her baby Mrs. Wesson arose, went to a dresser and drank the contents of vial, being dead In ten minutes.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Five Blind Tiqer Arrests.

Deputy Sheriff George H. Parker proved terror to violators of the prohibition laws yesterday, making five different ar rests in this connection. One of the bold est of those arrested was a negro who operated at the Terminal station. The fellow was doing rushing business when detected the travelling public evil dently bestowing a generous patronage upon him. Others were caught operating in alleys and streets.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Temperance Movement Favored.

Oklahoma City, Okla. May 7.-With discussion of the present progress in tenn perance reform, the last days session of the annual convention of the Northern Baptists came to an end here today. Bap- lists everywhere were urged to come out in unmistakable terms in favor of this great movement for temperance, which, it was stated, Is sweeping the country
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Attempt To Burn Courthouse,

Houston. Tex. May 27.-Incendaries at tempted to burn the Harris county S1o0oOo courthouse today A large bladder filled with oil was placed in waste room and d fire started. The damage to the build ing is s5,OoO, all covered by insurance. Records and documents were damaged by water.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
More Air for PassenQers.

Washington, May N.-Under suspension of the rules the House today passed the Senate bill providing for greater air space in the steerage of steamships. The bill amends the passenger act of 1892 in that respect and prohibits absolutely the car riage of steerage passengers on the lower passenger deck unless it is sufficiently lighted by side scuttles and otherwise to the satisfaction of the inspection service.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Club Cases Postponed.

Under promise of good behavior, Judge Howze. in the second division of the criminal court yesterday afternoon, con- tinued the cases of those clubs charged with violating the prohibition laws, until the next term of the court. A large num- her of persons had gathered to hear the trials but moved away disappointed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Fire Threatens Town.

. Springfield, Ohio. May 27.-A fire of un- known origin, starting in the livery barn of Newton Barrett at HAS o'clock last night. threatens to destroy the town of Hillsboro. The loss at present is over S1O0 .Ooo. partly covered by insurance. Low water pressure and inability to secure aid means the destruction of the town.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Blo Victory for Prohibition.

Raleigh, N. G.. May 27-The returns of the elections on state prohibition re- ceived tonight placed the majority for prohibition at 42,94S These returns show that r counties favor maiorities for pro- hibtion and 21 against 1t; the greatest majority was given by Buncombe county, where the prohibition forces won by 56s1 majority
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

Col. William Stewart dare not speak lest he be courtmartialed, and his enemies fill the land with reports concerning him. But the only charge thus far brought against him is that he is temperamentally undesirable. There are others in high places.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

In Corea men wear skirts until they marry; then they wear trousers. If the Corean rule were applied to the bachelors of this town, what a sensa- ton there would be! It is, after all, a pretty good rule
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Outlaw League in Trouble.

Philadelphia, May N-Announcement' was made today that owing to the dis bandment of the Wilmington team and the temporary suspension of playing by the Baltimore club, the Union Baseball league will be operated as six-club or ganizaton.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
Two Many Primaries.

Judge Foreman of Ashville, St. Clair county, was in Birmingham yes terday, and spent several pleasant hours with his friends. The judge is in fine health and states that St. Clair county Is as wealthy and safe as if no panic had ever been heard of.
 "We went two to one for Bryan" he said, "and the people of our county arc enth usia stically in favor of his nomi- nation. They believe that this Is the democratic year" MT. Foreman, in dis cussing the many primaries that are being held yearly in Ala abama, stated that there are entirely too many of them, and the people are getting tired of constant agitation. He believed that the plans should be arranged to give the voters their full sh are in the choice of officers, but to relieve the constant tension.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From tfle NeW fOrk PreSS.
 The reason a girl can fool man is he thinks he Is doing the fooling.
 The time a woman can smile the most naturally is when she wants to cry
 An easy way not to be bothered by your relations Is to be poorer than they afe
 A man without convictions is uninter- esting. but a man with them Is insult ferable.
 No matter how proud a man Is of be- ing able to do things around the house. it never takes any useful form like chopplng wood.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

The Chicago News thinks one John. son delegate from Alabama and "A from Minnesota will not be able to swing a convention of 1908 delegates
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

The directoire gowns will hold their own until the sheath gowns appear, and then they will be outclassed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

The Steel corporation employs more men than Uncle Sam. As an employer no one outranks the concern at Ensley.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

In shortening the hours of labor no one tries to shorten the hours for wo- men in the household
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

Mrs. Alfred Vanderbilt is no longer the wife of a hack driver. The court came to her relief.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
TIE VALLEY OF SHADOWS.

TIE VALLEY OF SHADOWS. Down in the valley of shadows A toiler is plodding along, With never a whisper of courage And never lit of song. Forspent with the world and it's folly And sunk in his great despair He carries his dead with stumbling
 tread
 And leaves all his manhood there. And never a ray of sunshine Shall tighten the wrack and the pail, Where the pilgrim swoons in his anguish And rise betimes to fall. But through the abysmal hollows Where the clashing boulders ring, He strives to attain, with a heart full
 of pain,
 To the rest that the grave will bring. And the valleys the valley of trouble Where the weddings shudder and die And the strong man fights for his freedom Meath the doom of a pitiless sky. And a word ere we part o my brother,- In the grip of the fetters that bind; Though sorrows bereave, push on and
 you'll leave That desolate valley behind!
 A DEEP SUBJECT . For twenty years Professor Saply has been trying to analyze the feminine mind"
 What success has he had?' Well, he has never gotten any further than the hat department" A BALLAD OF LoNEsoMEvILLE. She warbled it sweetly ana wondrously
 low And the words of the song they were
 Please do not go." Twas far and away from the citys mad
 whirl That the mistress she plead with the new
 servant girl, "Oh, Maggie, dear Maggie now please
 do not go, The babies will cry and I'm needing
 you so.' And over and over she sang that refrain. But Maggie pulled out on the six-thirty
 train.
 SOMEWHAT SIMILAR. Do you suppose he has ever been in love?'
 NO, he tried to corner the wheat mar ket once. That Is what makes him look so cut up'
 TRUE.
 When women wear trousers
 They won't be good catches But they'll be supplied with
 A place to strike matches
 QUITE LUCKY. ''He is a lucky fisherman" Does he get many?'' Yes, and what's more, he gets em on tEe credit"
 LEADING TOPICS. When you meet a man
 It's a toss-up whether
 He'll ask you the score
 Or how Is the weather
 ADVERTISING A BOOK "A dozen preachers denounced Scribers latest novel from their pulpits yesterday. They said 1t wasn't fit for a man about town to read much less tho mother of family"
 What is the name of the bool?" The Snare.''' 'Hum-I thought so. My wife asked
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

Congress is trying to mix oil and water: in other words. the Aldrich and Vreeland bills.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

If the congressional desks are abol- ished the congressional bouquets will have to go also.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

The Merry Spinster hat is two feet high instead of two feet across.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

Crop prospects and the prospects of a democratic victory were never bet ter.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

There are too many bureaus and too much management in presidential cleo tions.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

Paris prohibits the use of revolving doors in places where more than 100 persons gather.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

Chicago is now called Pennantville in baseball circles.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

Senator Tom Platt has been relieved of the charge of bigamy, but all other charges stand against him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

The world strikes 3,000,000 matches every minute of the 24 hours. This is striking some.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
The Boston Herald prints the epi-

00oe0H sE1u taph inscribed on the currency bill: "Aldrich and Vreeland. R. I. F."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

I want to tell You what she did, The girl who wore A merry wid. She ripped along A city street. With smiling eyes And twinkling feet, And everywhere The darling went She left a trail
 Of discomfort Mong danes who wished That they might be One half as fresh And sweet as she, While every man Exclaimed, Gee whiz, I wonder who
 On earth she isl"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

Tammany's trip to Denver will cost $115, ,000.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

Congress has actually done some. thing; 1t has put the motto back on the coins.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

spider eats 27 times it's weight every day. Men and beasts are not so voracious.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

Uncle Sam sends candy to the jack. ies of the battleship fleet in 40,000. pound lots.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
PHYLLIS

me this morning where that book was or
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

QUITE LUCKY. "He is a lucky fisherman" Does he get many?' 'Yes, and whats more, he gets 'em on tic credit"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28
HAD HER WAY.

HAD HER WAY. My wife was simply bound to have her weigh this morning." Nothing unusual, I hear You sur rendered, of course?" "Yes, l dug up a penny to put in the machine"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

LEADING TOPICS. When you meet a man It's a toss-up whether He'll ask you the score Or how is the weather.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

SOMEWHAT SIMILAR Do you suppose he has ever been in love?'
 NO, he tried to corner the wheat mar ket once. That Is what makes him look so cut up'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

When women wear trousers
 They won't be good catches, But they'll be supplied with
 A place to strike matches.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28


 A new twenty-dollar bill is a pretty sight.
 Just because a man gets his life insured is no sign that he Is ready to die. The dog catcher is hardly so popular as the baseball catcher.
 It is presumed that all grass widows are merry widows. Sod widows can he merry on occasions.
 There is quite much romance in a calico dress as there is in a gown of silk.
 Some men are consistent optimists be- cause they let their wives do the work 'The man who gets loaded has a poor aim in life," says the Beaumont Enter prise. Also in his walk.
 The Washington Herald relates that a Virginia man alleges in his petition for divorce that his wife refused to put poras plasters on his back when requested Perhaps she preferred to make it hot for him in other ways. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-05-28

Senator Tom Platt has been relieved of the charge of bigamy but all other charges stand against him.
  Tn shortening the hours of labor no one tries to shorten the hours for wo- men in the household.
  Congress is trying to mix oil and water; in other words, the Aldrich and Vreeland bills. Mrs. Alfred Vanderbilt is no longer the wife of a hack driver The court came to her relief.
  If the congressional desks are abol- ished the congressional bouquets will have to go also. Paris prohibits the use of revolving doors in places where more than 100 persons gather. The world strikes 3,000,000 matches every minute of the 24 hours. This is striking some.
 
 spider eats 27 times it's weight every day. Men and beasts are not so yoracious.
 Uncle Sam sends candy to the jack. ies of the battleship fleet in 4O,000 pound lots.
 Congress has actually done some thing; 1t has put the motto back on the coins.
 There are too many bureaus and too much management in presidential cleo tions.
 Crop prospects and the prospects of a democratic victory were never bet ter.
  The Merry Spinster hat Is two feet high instead of two feet across. Chicago is now called Pennantvllls in baseball circles.