davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
Queer Mill

Many specimens of unconscious hui
NOR are received by the editors of that
monumental work, the Imperial Gazet-
teer Of India" A district was said to
be "an extensive rolling plain, consist
ing of alternate ridges of bare stony
hills and narrow fertile valleys" An
interesting item Of natural history was
afforded by the remark, 1.-The buffalo
differs from the COW in giving milk
which is richer in butter fat, in voice
and in having no hump" = London
Globe
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12

Mrs. Higsley-Clara, l must insist
that you send young Mr.. Granley away
earlier. 1t was long after II o'clock
last night when you closed the front
door after him. Clara-I know, NAM
ma, and / have made up my mind a
dozen different times to make him leave
early, but he has way somehow Of
always giving the impression long aft
er the shank of the evening has passed
that he is just about to say something
one has been waiting for. It's awful
exasperatingLSt. Louis Republic
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
EDISON THE VICTOR.
He HumbIed the Pride of the Fast
TELEGRAPH Operator.

Telegraph Operator.
Edison made his first record as q
telegraph operator in Memphis. A con
temporary says he came walking into
the Office one morning looking like 9
veritable hayseed. He wanted job
and, although his appearance was moi
progressing. the Office was short
handed, and he was assigned desk al
the st. Louis wire, the hardest in the
office. "At the end of the line was ar
operator who was chain lightning and
knew it." says Francis Arthur Jones
''Life of Edison"
Edison had hardly got seated before
st. Louis called The newcomer re
sponded and ST. Louis started on 6
long report which he pumped in like
a house afire Edison threw bis lee
over the arm Of his chair, leisurely
transferred Il wad of spruce gum from
his pocket to his mouth, took up 6
pen, examined it critically and started
in about fifty words behind. He didn't
stay there long. though. st. Louis LEI
out another link of speed, and still an
OLQer, anu lUe IuSlIuLu6ul vi DulSOu
table humined like an old style Singer
sewing machine Every man in the
office left his desk and gathered around
the jay to see what he was doing witt
that electric cyclone.
"Well, sir, he was right on the WORD
and taking it down in the prettiest cop
perplate hand you ever saw, ever
crossing his t's' and dotting his rs
and punctuating with as much care a:
a man editing telegraph for printers
St. Louis got tired by and by and be
gan to slow down. Then Edison open
ed the key and said:
"'Hello, therel When are you going
to get a hustle on? This is no primer
class
well, SIR" said the gentleman il
conclusion, that broke ST. Louis al
up. He had been rawhiding Memphis
for a long time, and we were terribly
sore, and to have man in our Office
who could walk all over him made III
feel like man whose horse had wor
the Derby"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
All Three Kinds.

There is a village in New England
which clings fondly to the customs Of
the past and has small regard for limo
vations. Not long ago an old resident
died. The lawyer who went up to set
tie the family affairs stayed overnight
at the little inn. He was a dyspeptic
and ever cautious about his food.
Therefore he looked searchingly at the
waitress as she stood at the breakfast
table the next morning to greet him.
I'm-er-obliged to be very careful
of myself" he said solemnly. my
diet is extremely limited. What sort
of breakfast food have you? That is
all l take in the morning except dry
toast"
I'VE have apple, squash and mince,"
said the girl, regarding him in kindly
and sympathetic fashion. You can
take your choice or have all three II
you like" Youths Companion.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
A Risky Subject.

"Do you think. sweetheart" queried
the young man with the evenly divid
ed hair, that your father will con
sent to our marriagef
"Well." replied the fair one. "o1
course papa will be sorry to lose me
but
But" interrupted the rash youth
81 will remind him that instead of los
ing a daughter he will gain a son."
Dearest" rejoined the wise maid
''if you really want me you mustn't
say anything of the kind. Papa has
three such sons boarding with him
now, and he's little touchy on the
subject"
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12

All the good qualities of Ely's Cream
Balm, solid, are found in Liquid Cream
Balm, which is intended for use in
atomizers. That it is wonderful remedy
for Nasal Catarrh is proved by an ever
increasing mass of testimony. 1t does not
dry out nor rasp the tender air-passages.
1t allays the Inflammation and goes
straight to the root of the disease. OBJ
stinate old cases have yielded in few
weeks. All druggists, roc, including
spraying tube, or mailed by Ely Bros, SO
Warren Street, New York.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
Soothing the Author.

Actor-In the first act last night,
when Roderigo is to shoot me, his gun
didn't go off. This sort of thing spoils
my play. Manager-It doesn't make
any difference whether he shoots you
or not. The audience appreciate the
situation. They know you are not
worth the powder 1t would take to
shoot you and find it very appropriate
that the gun misses fre.-Liverpool
Mercury.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
INFECTION AND CONTAGION
HOUSEHOLDERS CAUTIONED.
Disinfect freely thus Spring.


Infectious and contagious diseases are
prevalent. The use of a reliable disin-
fectant protects the household. The last
thing at night pour into the traps Of the
closets, wash basins, sinks, ETC., Just a
little Platt's Chlorides. Dusty or damp
corners and cracks-nooks behind plumb
ing and all spots that can't be reached by
the scrubbing brush, should be freely
sprinkled with a mixture of one ID part
Platt's Chlorides and ten Q0) parts of
water. This dilution costs less than 5
cents quart. Do not neglect liberal
sprinkling of the cellar. To remove OBJ
jectionable odors where sprinkling is in
advisable, keep cloth or sponge mois-
tened with the dilution mentioned. A
little extra care just now may prevent
much sickness and expense. Platt's
Chlorides is an odorless, colorless liquid
which instantly destroys foul odors and
disease breeding matter. 1t is sold by
druggists everywhere in full quart bottles,
and is prepared only by Henry B. Platt.
A brochure entitled ''Health Economy, .
mailed free on writing to AZ Cliff street,
New York.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
az have closed all the hampers but

81 have closed all the hampers but
this one
"Are you coldf'
every. This cellar is like Green
land"
"Why don't you go to the kitchen
and get warm?'
81 am happier here"
"That is a very odd place to be hap
py, inside a furnace, o'clock in the
morning, dark, thermometer down to
Zero You must feel quite hilarious"
81 am more hilarious and less cold
than 1 was at last night"
"Why last night, may / ask"
1.-THE cause of the fall in tempera-
ture was letter which registered
about 80 degrees below zero F."
"Did-did you think soT'
"Didn't you mean it soT'
"Are you quite sure you know who l
ann"
"Are you sure you know who am r
"Oh, Howard, can you ever forgive
me? am SO miserable. / heard your
voice, and / couldn't let you go with
out at least saying 'goodby.' Did you
know l was here?"
"Yes, Nina; the addresses were the
same. How soon can you be down
here and get this ring Of yoursY'
Darling, do you forgive me and do
you really love me stillT
Love you, darling? counted the
minutes all the way home. had just
reached the Office when you called me
! up"
"Then you knew it was III
"No. dear. but do now. was so
happy to hear voice like yours that /
fairly laughed out loud. Darling, do
hurry down. If / can't see your dear
face In two minutes I'll climb up this
pipe"
"What did you think Of my terrible
note, Howard, tell meT
"What! The sassy little letter you
wrote yesterday? Didn't pay any at
tention to it, saucebox! Are you COM
ing down or are you not? l am going
to turn on all the hampers, and every
one can hear what you say. Now, Will
you conner"
"Just one little word more, Howard.
What did you come out here SO early
for?"
"To see you, of course, silly. What
elser' .
"And all that noise
"Did it on purpose to wake you up.
You didn't think was going to walt
any longer. did your shamelessly.
Howard, l cried all night"
~You deserved to-" severely.
@And, Howard
A warning rattle of the hampers in
terrupted her. She laughed happily.
"All right dear, in two minutes"
And something that sounded suspi-
ciously like a kiss wended its lonely
way through the crooked tin pipe.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
Clever Birds.

A gentleman tells the following in
regard to the cleverness of two gold
fnches upon which he kept close
watch while they were building nest
on a small branch Of tree. When the
nest was finished he noticed that the
weight of the birds and the eggs was
too great for the strength of the sup
porting branch The goldfnches also
perceived that the nest would fall I'M
less something was done. and, after a
great deal of bird talk, they flew away
and came back with stout string.
Then they cleverly fastened the bend
ing twig to a stronger and higher
branch of the tree, and thus preserved
their nest and its contents from de-
struction.-London Standard.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
Hottentot Women.

Among the Hottentots women hold a
better position than they do anywhere
else In Africa 1.-THE married woman"
says one traveller, "relgns supreme mis-
tress. Her husband cannot without her
permission take bit Of meat or a drop
of milk" Generally ''they rank much
above the average of the negro races"
London Spectator
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
Idle Curiosity

"Why are you calling up the various
hospitals?"
MY friend SniggIebat assured me
he'd pay me that S. today or break a
leg, and want to find out which leg
he broke. > Kansas City Journal.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
unkind Deduction.

Mrs. BENJAMIN. going to give q
big party on my birthday. Benham-
Who will be invited? Mrs. Benham-
Just my friends Benham-I thought
you said that you were going to give
q big party.-New York Press.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
THE LIVER QUARANTINE

qHurrisd eating has ruined many mans
stomach. The MISUNDERSTANDING pro-
cess Is gradual, often unnotieed at first
But II is only short time until the liver
balks, the digestive organs give way, and
almost countless ills assai1 the man who
endeavors to economize time at the ex-
penss of his health.
GA torpid liver causes quarantine of the
entire system. It locks in the diseased
germs and body poisons and affords them
full play, inviting some serious illness.
Gin families where August Flower is used,
a sluggish liver and constipation are I'M
known, so are all stomach ailments, as
well as indigestion, dyspepsia, heartburn,
headaches and kidney and BLADDER afec-
lions. No well-regulated family should
be without this standard remedy.
Give sizes, ssc and 7se. Ali druggists
FOR SALE BY
ALLENS PHARMACY
PRIeKITT 3 PEAR ACH
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
Poured.

81 have poured every day this week
at some function or other" remarked
the vivacious girl
''Well, WE'LL" murmured the old gen
ueman who overheard her NOW /
know what is meant by the term "a
reigning BELLE st Louis Republic
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
considerate.

"And would you marry me If I were
poor girl, working for a living?" ask
ed the heiress.
Darling" responded the accepted
sutton, ut wouldn't be fair You'd be
doing enough in supporting yourself
Philadelphia Ledger.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
Out of the Ordinary

"Say," queried the high browed man
as he entered the drug emporium,
shave you Bighead's balm for bald
ness?'
NO" replied the druggist but
"Oh, yes," interrupted the prospec-
tive customer, "of course you have
something just as good, but want
what l want Seer
"You are mistaken, my friend" said
the pill dispenser. 81 haven't anything
just as good, but l have something
that is far better" Chicago News.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
Tart Advice

Aged Admirer Think of an the lux
uries rich husband like me could
give you! Miss De Young-Oh, rich
father would do just as Welt Marry
my motherl-London STANDARD.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
Easy.

Lady ION street)-Do you know where
Johnny Tucker lives my little boy?
Little Boyle amt home but If you
give me nickel I'll find him for you.
Lady-All right. Now, where is he?
Little Bov-Thanks, I'm him.-Judge.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
For the Next One.

Nagger-I've put one poor chap on
his feet, anyway. Mrs Whom
have you been fooling your money
away on now? Nagger = Your next
husband, madaml I've had my life in
sured.-London Telegraph.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
New MALAY lpIunl Cure
Being Distributed Free by a New
York Society.

EWIHEt3 1~ESNI = = TO 2 70 = y q NV
York Society.
Cooperating with missions in Malay
STA, the Windsor Laboratories of New
York have secured supply of the won
derful combre tum plant, which has done
so much to rev o1utionize the treatment
of the opium habit.
A generous supply Of the new remedy,
together with full instructions for its
use, and United States consular reports
bearing on the subject will be sent to
any sufferer. To obtain free supply
of this remedy and the consular reports,
address Windsor Laboratories, Branch 90,
1874 East 25th Street. New York City.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12

No man prospers in this world by
luck unless it be the luck Of getting up
early, working hard and maintaining
honor and integrity.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12

IL thought you said when hired you
that you didn't drink"
81 didn't at that time. I couldn't af.
ford to drink until l got a job
Brooklyn Life.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
Against the Laws.

Charley, DEAR" said young Mrs. Tor
kins, lis it against the laws to win
money on horse races?"
Eyes; against the laws of chance.
Washington Star.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12

Philosophy when specifically stud
led excites doubt; when thoroughly ex-
plored, 1t dispels it-Bacon.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
Iokinn With Handel.


A musical Joke of a stupendous ma
ture was played upon Handel when ne
was the manager OF the kings theater
In the Haymarket, says the London
Telegraph. 1t was constant maxim
Of the great composer, whose sensitive
ear abominated the tunings up of an
orchestra, that all the instruments
should be placed ready tuned at the
music stands and that the members of
the orchestra should enter like troop
Of soldiers, take up their instruments
like one man and at the stroke of the
baton begin. One evening practical
Joker contrived to have Handel en-
gagged in conversation for some min,
utes behind the scenes while he him.
self entered the orchestra and quietly
altered the tunings Of all the instru-
ments. Nobody was a bit the wiser till
the baton was raised, and then the
crash came-a crash of utter and su-
preme discord! Handel was exasper-
ated to frenzy. It is on record that he
seized his wig and flung it at the lead
er of the band, kicked the double bass
viols to splinters and demolished the
kettledrums, with many more ameni-
ties Of the same description.
Bathing an Elephant.
II there is one thing which an ele-
plant enjoys above all things else, it
is his bath. In India elephants are
used to draw the great guns of the
heavy batteries. They take their baths
In the barracks at the troughs where
they drink, and they behave much bet
ter about it than many children. They
have to lie down and be patient while
they are washed by their attendants
They turn themselves about very
promptly to suit their convenience.
The attendant rubs the hide with a
piece of stone instead of sponge, and
If the stone slips out of his hand the
elephant politely picks it up with his
trunk and hands 1t back. After they
have been well scrubbed the elephants
give themselves a shower bath, using
their trunks to dash the water upon
themselves, and they can hit any part
of their bodies with ease. = London
Mail.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12
.Bea1f1J Nos.r home
BurrMSIntosh-
Monthly
Pictorial Ra-zscf1oS'

2ScforII feTsckiaH~
1.-THE MOST BEAUTIFUL MAGAZINE
IN THE WORLD"
and the one magazine that is different
from all others. 1t contains 80 or
more superb pictures monthly exquisite1y
printed with fine art tone ink, many of
the pages being in colors. The magazine
is bound with silk cord but in such
manner that it may be easily taken apart
and
The Pictures Framed
There is enough good reading matter to
make the magazine the most attractive
periodical published.
Ask your newsdealer for the current
number. If he does not handle it, send
us his name and address with your name
and address for sample copy. Regular
price rs cents. Mention this paper and
address
BURR McINTOSH MONTHLY
4 West 22nd Street New York City
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12

1t is easy to improve what has al
ready been nvented.-Latin Proverb.
The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-05-12

Ask for Aliens FOot-Ease, Powder,
1t makes walking easy. Cures Corns, Bun
ions, Ingrowing Nails, Swollen and SWEATING
feet. AT ali druggists and shoe stores, 25c
Don't accept any substitute. Sample Free
Address, Allen S. Olmsted. Leroy. N. Y.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1908-05-02
PRODUCE QUOTATIONS
The Latest Closing Prices In the
PRINCIPAL Markets.


PHILADELPHIA - FLOUR firm;
winter extras. new. $3g5Q4; Pennsyi
Vania roller, clear, $4.10 a. 42O; city
mills, fancy. $5.754590. RYE FLOUR
quiet, at $40 q $50 per barrel
WHEAT steady; No 2 Pennsylvania,
low. local. 73Q 75c. OATS quiet; No.
2 white, clipped, size; lower grades,
Soc. HAY steady; timothy. $1S61S.5O
for large bales. PORK firm; family
$3.50 per barrel. BEEF steady: beef
hams, $26G27 per barrel. POULTRY:
Live steady; hens. 14d15c.; old roost.
ers, loo. Dressed steady; choice fowls.
Ike; old ROSTERS, 10hc. BUTTER
firm; extra creamery, zoe. EGGS firm /:
selected, 17h Q195hc.; nearby, Ice. !:
western, tic. POTATOES firm. al
500 CSC. per bushel
BALTIMORE - WHEAT firm; No.
spot, 9Sh d9S%c.; steamer No z
spot, 95Q95Ac.; southern, 94Q9Sc.
CORN quiet; mixed spot, 693s69L1c. !;
steamer mixed, 653s O. 65l5c.; southern,
6Sq71c. OATS firm; white. No. 2,
59c.; No. 3, 57L45SIhc.; No. 4, $40
55c.; mixed, No. 2. 551k Q56c.; No 8,
53Q54c. BUTTER firm; creamery
extras. 30030kc.; held. 20
Q21c-; prints, 31Q32c.; Maryland and
EGGS firm: fancy Maryland, Pennsyl.
vania, Virginia and West Virginia
16c.; southern, 15c.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1908-05-02

chaos OF Tho dark aged. We are striving
for legislation 90 minimize the abuses
which give this type it's 1ourishing prom
inence. partly for the sake OF what can
be accomplished by the legislation itself
and partly because the legislation marks
our participation In q great and stern
moral movement Go bring our ideals and
our conduct into measurable accord
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1908-05-02

The postoffice at Aver. Mass. was
broken into and the safe blown open
and robbed of its contents, amounting
to about $3.50. largely In stamps.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1908-05-02
Live Stock Markets

PITTSBURG CUnion Stock Yards)-
@6.S5; prime, $6.4OQ6.6O. SHEEr
lower prime wethers, $55Om5.75:
culls and common. SOS: lambs. $4.25
al; veal calves. $4506625. HOGS
lower: prime heavies and mediums
light Workers. $5.7565 5. so; PIGS $50
SIS; roughs. $450@490.
Richmond planet. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1883-1938, 1908-05-02
FOR FIVE NEW SUBSCRIBERS.

LENT. WE WILL SEND YOU A COPY OF UN-
GLE TOMS CABIN. THE MOST INTENSELY IN
TERESTING BOOK IN THE COUNTRY. WE
WILL SEND YOU A COLD-PLATED BROOCH
WITH YOUR PICTURE THEREIN. YOU TO
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-09-05
For the HNOsd@sS
Labor Day Partys' That Involves Little Trouble
and Is Very overwhelmingly SeDti-
no@DtS for All fbe NoDtE3s.

they will appear next Sunday. As .
special favor, will all those interested
please preserve these two articles for
future reference, as it will not be pos
sible to repeat them very SOON The
birth stone is supposed to bring good
luck to the person who wears it, and
they are always popular as gifts of
sentiment; besides everyone likes an
Individual gift:
JANUARY
BY her who in this month is born.
No gem save Garnets should be worn
They will insure her constancy,
True friendship and fidelity
FEBRUARY
The February-born will find
Sincerity and peace Of mind.
Freedom from passion and from care.
If they the Amethyst will wear.
MARCH
Who in this world of ours their eyes
In March first open shall be wise;
In days of peril. firm and brave.
And wear a Blackstone to their grave
APRIL
She who from April dates her years.
For vain repentance flow; this stone
Emblem of innocence is known.
In springs sweet -f1owery month of May,
And wears Emerald all her life,
Shall be a loved and happy wife.
JUNE.
Who comes with summer to this earth.
And owes to June her day of birth,
With ring of Agate her hand.
Can health, wealth and long life COM
mand.
JULY
The glowing Ruby should adorn
Those who in warm July are born;
Then will they be exempt and free
From loves doubts and anxiety
AUGUST.
Wear a Sardonyx. for thee
No congenial felicity.
The AuguSt-born without this stone,
IT'S said, must live unloved and alone.
SEPTEMBER.
A maiden born when autumn leaves
Are rustling in Septenber's breeze.
A Sapphire her brow should bind
Twill cure diseases of the mind
OCTOBER.
October's child is born for woe,
And hfe's vicissitudes must know;
But lay Opal on her breast,
And hope will lull those woes to rest.
NOVEMBER.
Who first comes to this world below
With drear November's fog and snow,
Should prize the Topaz, amber hue
Emblem of friends and lovers true.
DECEMBER.
If cold December gave you birth
The month of snow and ice and mirth-
Place on your hand a Turquoise blue:
Success will bless whate'er you do
MADAME MERRI-