davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-18

Uncle 'Rastus'
81 doan know, Use sure, what she do do wifi it. l
hahn gin her yit.'"
Champ Clark. Representative from Missouri
TO illustrate the ''woeful plight" Ito borrow
expression from Grover Cleveland) into which
the Republicans got themselves by of the split
the tariff question into the standpat and revision
factions and the uncertainty at that time to their
next platform declaration that subject, Champ
Clark told two anecdotes:
The predicament in which the Republicans
find themselves at the present juncture on the
tariff question reminds of story l heard not
long since about the devil meeting old preacher
in some out of the way place and trying to convince
him that he God Almighty. The preacher
skeptical and didn't believe word of it. So the
devil told the preacher that if he would name the
three hardest things to do that he could think of.
he would do them right before his face and con-
vince him. Whereupon the preacher said, Re
struck it and the tree vanished of the curious
accidents that puzzle the philosopher. The
preacher, still Doubling Thomas said, Remove
that mountain!' Instantly earthquake leveled
it with the plain,-two best out of three. Then
the preacher said, Tell what the Republicans
will declare for in their next platform the tariff
question; and the devil gave it up, took to the
woods, and hasn't been seen since.
The mudde the Republicans in the tariff
reminds me of a thing that happened during the
Russian Japanese War. One day there was a des-
patch in the papers which said that General Kuro
patkn is in statn quo Latin phrase which TO
body much besides the lawyers understands. The
boys round village did not know what stain qno
meant they thought that perhaps it was the name
of town into which Kuropatkin had retreated.
So they asked the village wise man. and he did rot
know but he did not intend them to find out that
he did not know So putting on his most Solomonic
look and scratching his head he said very gravey.
Boys in statn quo means in hell of fix.
And that is the sad condition in which the
Republicans find themselves.
To illustrate the Presidents unfinished policies,
Mr. Clark tells this
The President has undertaken many things ard
left most of them uncompleted. which reminds
of boy l heard of recently. He said to his father
"'Wasn't the first made of mud?'
YES
"'What sort of mud?'
"'Oh, just ordinary mud
Cant make man out of mud!'
YES. there is plenty of mud down by the pond
Go and try it
$50 the boy proceeded to the pond and worked
arduously making him a mud man: but hadn't quite
finished him when the dinner bell rang. While he
eating his dinner some mischievous boys came
along and tumbled his incomplete into the
pond When the boy returned, his
mud man gone: but seeing the
lie IF he bOvS he thev
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-18

IL former Secretary Shaw, speaking
for the Republicans. illustrated the Esss
points in his argument:
"Our political opponents charge
first with robbng the people, and then squandering
the proceeds l do not know what it costs to
run this Government: but l know of some. people
who contribute more largely than /.
Europe made the required declaration, in which he
declared nothing dutiable The department had
received some confidential advice concerning his
operations and the examiner asked him if he had
not forgotten something He said he had not.
'"If you had necklace you would not be likely
to forget it, would your
He said he did have a necklace and he said some
other things. Returning tourists, when caught in
the act usually say other things Sometimes the
gentlemen say other things than ladies, and some
times the ladies say some things We asked him
and he also put down the duty twenty eight thou
sand dollars. That cost nothing.
Il was down at Tiffany's awhile ago and asked
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-18

the party of the young men because it party that
while cherishng glorious past always turns its face
toward the future The Republican party of to-day.
like young and hopeful maiden. offers her hand in
political marriage to the noble and aspiring youth
of this land How fair she is to look upon! The
unsullied flag of the Union which she has never
dishonored nor polluted, futters round her fair
face and the gttering stars in its fabric hover like
an enchanted dadem above her brow. She hath
virtue in her person. truth in her past youth in her
eyes, and hope in her hand. Young man, she IS
looking toward you.
But over wonder stands the old lady of Democ-
racy in ancient and unbecoming garb. A soed and
tattered flag that has been tramped beneath her
feet is wrapped round her. but it i'll becomes her
form and face Her political affections have been
trihed with and she has had numerous suits for
breach of promise She the most unpromising rem
Continued rage ~
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-18
! o

burden and make the hearthstone important
quantity. that we should have mental light
This apt diversion was heartily appauded by the
audience.
As illustrating the responsibility that falls upon
political party in power, Mr: Cannon SAID, 1-day
fore are responsible to the people. We have not
only to take care of ourselves the majority but we
have to take care of the minority we are like unto
what woman said to me OCCASION
Mr. Cannon, women have much harder time
than the men, more of responsibility
How is that? | inquired.
"'Why,' says she, we have to take care OF our
selves first and then take care of you men.
The nisquoting of McKinleys attitude on reci-
procity by the Democrats led Mr.. Cannon into an
other story. Said he, You will recolect that
whereas Mckinley declared for reciprocity where 1T
would not interfere with any industry of the United
simply for reciprocity. thereby causing false in
ference to be drawn. This equlvocal acton reminds
me of discussion that took place between an m
fdel and minister of the Gospel The former SAID:
that there is no God.
He turned over the leaves until he found a GER
tain passage of Scripture; Placing his thumb over
portion of sentence the nhdel said:
Read that; and the minister read, There is no
Cod
".Take YOUR thumb off the book! demanded the
preacher at the same time brushing the lnfdels
hand aside. Now read! ~
Thereby was disclosed the passage, 1 ne 1901
hath said in his heart, there is no God ,
In drawing a contrast between the advantages OF
the old world and this, Mr. Cannon said
In the old world, man or few men rule
] want none of it. Our fathers grew tired OF 1t, you
know. and came over here and helped to build the
Republic l have always been glad they did Since
/ came to the speakership, there have been people
anxious to hunt up my ancestry. On my mother S
side they were Quakers; my fathers side Irish
and English with strain Of Low Dutch or Holland
Well one man who has been busying himself with
looking up my genealogy says that in the last one
hundred and fifty years l had great many ances-
tors some of whom could not read write when they
came here But they came to better their condition.
and l thank God they did so If they had not come
I guess there would have been little bit OF me IN
Ireland a little bit in England. little bit IN the
Low Countries in Germany, and in France; and l
do not know where the other bits would have been
scattered because that is as far as they have got
in tracing my ancestry
A reference to Mr.. Bryan by the Speaker in
one of his speeches starts off in this way:
Il might talk further about Bryan; but what's the
USE What's the use? He is travelled gentleman, and
has been abroad for two years Intervening
the Japanese, kowtowing with the Chinese, ripping
with Euripides, and salaaming with
the Turk But he came back. and our
Democratic friends, thinking it was
long time between drinks, gathered up
crowd fifty thousand strong and
met him with huzzas and said, mas
much as he has travelled he must have
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-18

to see the best dinner plates they had l was
shown set of decorated china plates at three thou
The duty paid on these plates thousand
dollars dozen: but it cost nothing, for did
not buy any.
Two or three years ago was riding in the private
of a friend 1t was before the enactment of the
rate bill / offered a cigar. l do not smoke
but We collect the duty on cigars ! know some
thing of their cost. l said to him, This IS fine
cigar 1t was the kind you buy at the store tor one
dollar and twenty-five cents,-a pretty good cigar
Il asked him how much he paid
He said: l pay to the Government about one
hundred dollars month on my cigars.
But that did not cost me anything, and it would
not have cost him much if he had smoked Old
Virginia cheroots, three for five
Tive years ago a lady of great wealth returning
from Europe manifested as we thought great eat
brought home in her trunks She sent most OF her
purchases by freight Among these articles
lace bertha that cost her nine thousand dollars on
the other side 1t was a beautiful thing, one of
the best l have seen. We told her that if she
would contribute sixty per cent. five thousand four
hundred dollars, to the running expenses OF the
Government she might it. She had in her
trunks that day sixty-seven thousand dollars worth
of fine things which she paid in duty thirty-one
thousand and some odd hundred dollars The next
year she went again. and when she returned she
contributed eleven thousand dollars tried to get
her to go again this year.
None of this cost anything. 1t did not cost
you anything. If we are robbing these people as
charged by opponents we do it IN broad day
light and they know it in advance.
Anecdotes by Mr. Bryan
HERE two campaign stories often told by
IL William ] Bryan The first illustrates the con.
tentment that is preached by those enjoying special
privileges to those who complain of in justice:
"A man who had been taught to be content with
his lot became very poor He traded off his coat
came and snatching the bread away The man
was indignant at first. but the old feeling of
contentment stole over him and as he saw the dog
vanish round the corner he exclaimed. We'll thank
God have my appetite eft!'"
The second story illustrates the argument that
while the Republicans sometimes talk reform they
have yet given the country much along that line
"A gentleman met Uncle 'Rastus. How are
you to-day, Uncle 'Rastus?'
~ is feelin' all right in my physicalities. but
feen' pow full bad in my mind
why, what is the trouble?'
:" Hits all case OBJ my wife Dat woman done
poster me to death for money. Fifty cents to-day
half-doar tomorrow. and den quarter and den
a half-dollar; somefn' all de time:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-18

with EurlpldeS, anu sdIddliII1IS "1CH
the Turk. But he came back. and our
Democratic friends. thinking it was
long time between drinks, gathered up
a crowd fifty thousand strong and
met him with huzzas. and said, mas
much as he has travelled he must have
gotten wisdom and then he made
that New York speech!"
The Democrats have been such
chronic kickers that no one knows
what they are kicking about" SAID
Mr.. Cannon in one of his speeches
They remind me of the mule that
Lincoln told about. This particular
animal would stand in the stable and
do nothing but bray and kick, and no
one could ever tell whether he brayed
because he kicked or kicked because
he bra we'd ="
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-18

pOilQ w lcH tllC OOy lSCuIHCu, lliS
mud man was gone: but seeing the
tracks of the boys he thought they
were his mud mans tracks and that
he had walked away. So the next day
he attended public sale, and seeing
damp. dirty. ugly fellow he thought he
was his mud man. and followed HIM
about till the fellow turned on him
and said:
hoy. what makes you follow me
about so much!'
Whereupon the lad replied, What
made you run off before l finished
you?'
president Roosevelt might apply
the same query to most of his policies. y"
Mr.. Cushman on Political Marriage
THE angular statesman of the Pacific
Northwest regards a political
marriage" as almost equal in impor-
lance and solemnity to an ordinary
domestic wedding. In addressing an
audience of Young Republicans he
spoke of political marriage" saying:
ssITba DaD,,t1icor Tartu &c y,ac,,lia r1y
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-29
CARRIERS WANT
REPRESENTATIVE REDUCED
Will Discuss National Question
At State Meeting.

Kokomo, Ind, June 29.-Elaborate
preparations are being made for the
entertainment of the state meeting of
the letter carriers of Indiana to be
held here, July 4. A determined effort
will be made to reduce representa-
ton in the national assembly. AS the
rule now stands Indiana can send be-
tween seventy-five and one hundred
delegates, each branch being entitled
to representative, but as matter of
fact, but few of the less important
branches can afford, or even attempt,
to send delegates to the national body.
1t is the complaint that the national
assembly is not only too large and un-
wieldy, but that it has devoted itself
to extravaganza expenditures, result
ing in the imposition of unjust assess
ments upon individual members. Up
on the theory that smaller represen-
tation for the states is easier con-
trolled, the branches of Indiana will
seek a change.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-29
WOMEN DETERMINED
Fully Ten Thousand Will Storm
Parliament to Secure
Their Rights.
EVENT OCCURS TUESDAY.

London, June eff Premier AS
quith thinks that the Suffragettes are
at the limit of their resources he reck-
ons without his hostesses. AS has
been briefly announced in the press
cables, barely have they rested from
their two great Hyde Park demonstra
tions than they begin to lay their plans
for still more remarkable exhibition
of numbers and determination.
In all the unfinished business
that has come from Campbell-Banner-
man Asquith had had no greater heri-
tage of woe than the suffrage for wom-
en- question, and he positively de-
spairs of any settlement of his trou-
bles except by surrender.
Tuesday is set as date for this
new effort to jog the legislative rec
ognition OF women's rights. The cen
ter of operations will be the Houses of
Parliament, but this time instead of
attacking the citadel it will be invest
ed.
A deputation will approach the Pre-
mier on the plea of seeking an inter
view, and under the cover of this
move 100, 900 of good and true Suffra-
gettes will storm the Parliament by
land and by water.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-29

bon. Place two large hooks in wall
so that they extend slightly. Place
your stick on hooks and you have a
neat rack. This saves much time and
keeps your bureau drawers tidy.
- - ~
Mr.. and Mrs. Eugene Price enter
tanned party Of four yesterday to din
ner at the Robinson cafe.
r. r. r.
Both dinner and supper will be
served at the all day picnic of st. An
drew's church which will be held to-
morrow at Beallview park All mem
bers and friends of the church are
cordially invited to attend.
- - y
Miss Margaret Mooney entertained
a company at dinner yesterday at the
Robinson Cafe. Places were arranged
for four.
The Spring Grove sewing circle will
meet tomorrow afternoon with Mrs.
J. H. Wilson of Spring Grove. All
members are urged to be present.
- - -
The following invitations were is.
sued today:
Mr. Frank Nellie
requests the honor of your presence
at the marriage of his daughter
Bertha G..
to
Eugene F. Herold
on the morning of Wednesday
the eighth day of July
nineteen hundred eight
st. Andrews Church, 1880 Mass
Richmond, Indiana
At home
After July twenty-flfth
PIG S. Third st.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-29
inc Senate Band.

The press gallery of the senate does
not look unlike band stand, with its
deliberately decorated front, and it Is
never occupied by the scribes prior to
the opening of the proceedings. a
young lady seated in the gallery oppo-
site the press gallery had been looking
intently at the empty seats for quite
awhile. Her curiosity get the better OF
her, and. going to the doorkeeper. She
said. Mister. will you please tell me
when the band begins to play?" The
doorkeeper was amazed. NO band
will play. miss" said that gentleman
There Is no band. Why do you ask 2
The young lady looked disappointed
and embarrassed when she said. with
hesitation, Isn't that the bald stand 2
pointing to the press gallery.-Wash
tngton Herald.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-29
Thoughtful Drummer.

Salesman: "Mr. Osborn, did it ever
occur to you how seldom your clerks
introduce goods of merit and profit to
customers" Yes, l am aware of it.
Mr.. Salesman, your remark Is too true.
am constantly instructing them on
that particular point. Only this morn
ing lady came in to make her week
ly purchases of groceries and among
the articles she wanted was a cheap
soap. l knew Easy Task was the
highest grade goods of its kind on my
shelf and sold her a quarters worth.
She will buy it again, everyone does
who uses it once"
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-29
CUPID PLAYS WITH
POWERS HEART
Dame Rum0r Has It That He
Will Marry York, Pa,
Girl.
WOMAN IN CASE DENIES IT.
SAYS THAT POWERS VISITS TO
HER HOME HAVE BEEN THOSE
OF A FRIEND AND NOTHING
MORE.

York, Pa, June 29.-The visit here
of Caleb Powers, the Kentuckian.
whose life was placed in jeopardy in
the Goebel murder case. has started
Mother Gossip to the front. Indeed
there is so much being said that Miss
Eleanor Bonham, with whom his name
has been associated. has found it nee
essary to deny the rumors. Said she:
You may say for me that the rum
ored engagement Of myself to Caleb
Powers is utterly false. Mr.. Powers
is my friend, and l am proud of the
fact. Beyond that there is nothing"
Notwithstanding this positive decla-
ration from Miss Bonham. Dame Ru-
NOR is still at work and the engage
ment of Powers and Miss Bonham is
discussed in nearly every household.
Since his arrival here Powers has
welcome guest at the Bonham home.
The whole Bonham family seem very
much interested in him.
1t is said that while he was in pri-
son letters from this colonial town
gladdened more than one lonely hour
in the prison cell. Should such ro-
nance terminate in a wedding it
would only be a logical climax, which
would be sanctioned by the friends of
both parties here.
Miss Bonham is the third daughter
of Mrs. Horace Bonham, who lives in
palatial residence on East Market
street. Miss Bonham herself is an
heiress With her large means she
would be in position to further the
aspirations and ambitions of the
young Kentuckian, who, it is said, as
pires to sit in the lower house at
Washington.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-29
When a Man Is Graeefu.

Men should go early TO party, even
If they have to go before supper and
sit in the parlor all alone while the
hostess is dressing. II man is late,
he is taken around circle of about
forty persons and introduced to every
one of them, and there is nothing more
awkward than when a man tries to
bow. Every one in the room stops
talking and stares at him, and If there
are any sixteen-year-old girls present
he can hear suppressed giggle when
he Is trying his best to be graceful A
man is never graceful except when be
Is saving wood or hammering a nail.
and society should never expect him to
bow like woman who has spent years
learning how to handle her feet and
hands.-Atchisop GlohA
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-29
Brays Mythical Vicar.

1t is curious to reflect that there are
scattered about the world many scores
of places whose chief claim to dis
tinction consists in their association
with some famous ditty or other.
Take. for example. the village of Bray.
in Berkshire. always associated with
the world famous Vicar of Bray"
The most curious part of the business
Is that. though Fuller. in his "Worthies
Of England" asserts that the cleric
who is the hero OF the song was one
Simon Alleyn. careful search OF the
parish registers has failed to substan.
tate the story.-London Musical Home
Journal
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-29
SOCIAL NEWS


Francisco, Mr.. Ernest Hill, DR.. and
Mrs. Harold, Mr.. and Mrs. Charles M.
Jenkins, Mrs. Walter B. Carver and
spending the summer with Mr.. and
Mrs. Walter Doan.
- - -
Mrs. Paul Wilson of Marion, Nilsson
Their Green, OF North Thirteenth street
- y ~
The sacred song service which was
held last evening at the Second Pres
byterian church was quite success.
- - -
The primary department of the
Trinity English Lutheran church held
its children's day exercises last even
ing at the church. This was one of the
most successful entertainments ever
given in the history Of this organiza-
ton.
DR.. W. P. Reeves, a professor in
Kenyon college, is in town, the guest
of his mother. Mrs. James Reeves Of
South Sixteenth street.
- y y
Mr.. and Mrs. William r. Miller en-
tertained at dinner last evening at
their home, 512 South Seventh street.
The affair was in honor of Mr.. Mil
ler's fifty-fifth birthday anniversary.
A bowl of Richmond roses formed a
center piece for the table Sweet peas
and carnations were also used in the
table appointments. The guests
were: Mr.. and Mrs. Fred Miller, Mr.
and Mrs. Fred Bartel, Mr.. and Mrs.
Henry Miller, Mr.. and Mrs. Gus Miller,
Mr.. and Mrs. Everett, Miller and son
Robert, Mr.. and Mrs. Hull, Mr.. and
Mrs. George Schwenke and daughter
Ruth, Mr.. and Mrs. John Schwenke,
Miss Ella Feltman, Miss Elma Lu-
thaus. MIR. Richard Bartel, Messrs. Ho-
mer Howard and Jesse Miller, Miss
Hilda Miller, Miss Ruby Miller, Mr..
Wilbur Miller and Miss Ada Miller.
- - -
Miss Marjorie Buffkin. who attends
school at Druly College, Springfield,
Mo-. is spending her vacation In this
city, the guest of her mother.
~ y -
Mr. and Mrs. o. NJ. Ridgeway of
Kansas City. Missouri, are the guests
of friends and relatives in this city for
few weeks
~ - -
Mr. Dennis entertained with a din
ner party yesterday at the Robinson
cafe. Places were arranged for sew.
en-.
y = y
A convenient way to keep belts, rib
bons and collars in order is to use a
curtain stick or old cane. Wind
around it some colored cambria or rib.