The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-08-09
CHANGES FROM
JEKyLL TO HYDE
National Sport Makes ManiacS
OF Most Staid and Digni-
fled Spectators.
BY FRED L. BOALT.


When in a mood for argument, my
friend the alienist is wont to remark:
'In so far as we are none of us per-
fectly normal we are all insane
He doesn't really mean il, though. 1t
is his private but unexpressed opinion
the last brain cell.
Which proves his insanity.
For | happen TO know that the allen
list is maniac. True. he has his lucid
moments. Meeting him under ordinary
circumstances you would pronounce
him sane. AS an alienist he is one of
the most expert and learned in Cleve-
land. And. as evidence of his level
headedneSs, his patients will tell you
his bills are commensurate with his
services. His practice is quite all that
he can handle
Nevertheless, repeat. the doctor is "a
maniac.
1t has not been my pleasure to know
the doctor long However, our friend
ship ripened rapidly until | was given
the freedom of his office
A code of ethics as iron-cIad as the
doctors own forbids nv telling you
his name. l am, however, permitted to
describe him. He is 4 large, pompous
man with gray, steely eyes and a for
bidding mien. This MEN, in his young
manhood professional pose. has be-
come habit. He frowns on his richest
patients as severely as on the poorest
He has Il deep. gruff voice which has i'm
IL sonorous quality. He has a habit
OF rubbing his square chin with a big.
well-cared-for hand and growing
Um-m M in a way that convinces
you that your case is indeed a bad one.
I did not have reason to doubt the
doctors sanity-indeed. | regarded him
as among the Sanest of all sane men
until recently. 1t was d sweltering hot
afternoon, and l, dropping into the Of
flee with a view TO reopening unfinished
discussion with the doctor as to. the
causes of insanity. found him shooing
bakers dozen patients from the watt
ing room.
Has Imperative Business.
Il cannot see you today" he was
saying to woman who was eXpostulat-
ing that her need of immediate treat
ment was urgent Il have imperative
business which takes me out of the
city. Come tomorrow"
Spying me. he winked his off eye. a
thing | had never before seen him do.
/ was too amazed to be shocked. He.
closed the door
I'VE have just time" he said. slanc-
ing at his watch. Ito get there"
ITO get where?' / asked.
The ball park. And I'll bet you
good cigar Cleveland cinches first place
today and st. Louis drops to third"
why. doctor" | exclaimed. Il didn't
know you cared for baseball"
He looked at me oddly. Though | did
not notice it al the time, remembers
later that there was in his eyes a fur
tive. hunted look.
oh. | see game occasionally" he
replied, when l can set rid of the
pesky patients"
Pesky patients. indeed,
The Payne avenue car we caught was
loaded TO the guards. We stood on the
running board, wedged in. Arriving At
the park the doctor beat me to the win
dow and bought the tickets. In a fever
of impotence he rushed me through
the turnstile and up the stairs.
We We're thirty minutes early. The
teams We're practicins.
on finding seats, the doctor to my
horror and modification, peeled off his
coat and advised me 10 do likewise. He
tucked a handkerchief inside his collar
and tilted his hat on the back of his
head. Then he studied the score card
Berger pitches" ne said enthusiast
tically. Good old Heiniei'
| am not a baseball fan. l had heard
OF Lajoie. Of course, and understood in
a hay sort % way the big niche ne
fills so capably i'm the public heart. But
who was Brother George" And
Cheerful Charley" And Dusty"
Rhoades? And Addie joss. the human
slat?' And Tuck" Turner? And
"Brad?" And "Nis" Clarke? And,
please, what is pinch hitter?'
The doctor rumbled eXcitedly. Dineen,
he said. was the opposing pitcher The
great Dineen, What? Never heard of
Dineen? Hadn't | ever heard % that
historic feat of his when, pitching for
Boston, | think he said, for the pen
nant. he retired Pittsburg in the last
inning with three shut outs when the
bases were full?
| hadn't.
Strange Behavior at the Game.
The game began. I shall not de-
scribe il. The sporting editors did that
excellently several days ago Besides.
was more interested in the doctor
. at, In he ha, rf.N,-