davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
Sounds Fish Make.

The horse mackerel, or scad, is said
to grunt. Purring noises are heard
from the cuckoo gurnard when 1t il
being removed from the water. The
herring, again, is said to emit a faint
squeak when the net has been drawn
over 1t, and there are other fishes
which are credited with vocal powers.
Most certain Of all Is the case Of the
little creature known to many q
shrtmper and fisher boy as the hum
mer. or hard head (Cottus scorpius).
the sea bullhead. which when held In
the hand near to the ear produces 80
distinct a buzzing noise that It cannot
only be heard, but felt, since the vi
bration caused by the sound Is percept'
ible by the hand. 1t seems to be the
result Of fear and comes apparently
from the inside Of the huge bead
London News.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27

Books are Invisible into two classes
the books OF the hour and the books
Of ell time.-Ruskin.
Y The Other Great Man.
DR.. Russell Cool of California hap
pened to suppress an epidemic Of
measles while on a vacation trip to
Tahiti, and Chief Oreaori gratefully
invited him to a banquet in his print
tive palace. The south sea potentate
and his white guest sat amiably on
the floor and dined of roast pig and
other native delicacies seeved on broad
leaves and eaten with the fingers.
After dinner host and guest adjourned
to seats outside the palace, lit long, fat,
black cigars and gazed out over the
moonlit Pacific. In the eyes Of Chief
Oreaor, Robert Louis Stevenson, who
did 90 much to improve the condition
Of the south sea islanders, was the
greatest white man that ever lived.
The chief related to DR.. Gool many
incidents to illustrate Stevenson's
kindliness, then asked a score Of Ques.
lions about the health Of Stevenson's
widow and Of his stepchildren. When
the last question had been answered
there followed a long period Of silence.
The two friends pulled slowly at their
cigars and luxuriously regarded the
radiant tropic moonlight glowing upon
rustling palm fronds and the silvery
ocean. Then Oreaori turned to the
doctor and demanded, Nov tell me
about John L. 'sullivanv-Harper's
Weekly.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
GOLD AND SILVER.
The Process Of Assayins Both Metals
Is Identical.

Is Identical.
The process of. assaying gold and sill
yer is identical. The metal is first put
through a highly heated furnace and
melted. the sample for assay being
dipped out while the metal Is in a
liquid state. Next the. sample is
thrown into a vessel of cold water,
when granulation ensues. Taken from
the cold bath, it is boiled in sulphuric
acid, the silver d%issolving, while the
gold is precipitated to the bottom,
where it is caught in proper recepta-
cles.
The acid is now drawn OF and the
metal placed in another vessel laid
with sheet lead, the bottom being
plates Of copper. Chemical action now
sets in, the acid, copper and lead be-
ing in a ferment. While the gold ID
being precipitated the silver, IL there
be any in the sample under test, is be-
ing deposited in thin metallic sheets on
were the copper plates, but which have
now been transformed into blue vitrios
or sulphate Of copper.
After the metals have all been de-
posted they are gathered up and with
the impurities still remaining pressed
into cakes by a hydraulic machine
which has a pressure Of 200 tons.
Again 1t is melted (the gold and silver
each in separate vats, Of counsel, the
pure metal being again deposited and
the Impurities. aided by chemical &C.
tion. left floating on the top. The next
and last process runs the metals into
ingots ready for the markets Of the
world. A%#
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
LIVE 0 P

Denver's six-day roller ace runs
from November % to 20.
~
Mexico is to have a motor boat re-
gatta on Lake Chapala next year.
The Wisconsin State Basketball
league will consist Of teams from eighs
cities.
Annapolis has offered Yale the use
OF its baseball grounds during the
Dastertide season.
jerome Keogh, who is now living
in Rochester, will challenge the win
ner Of the De Oro-Hueston pool cham
pionship match.
Not a single American horseman
has, so far as known, shipped his
stable to, enter the Mexican derby
Entries close December I.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
GERMAN WAGES, coNTRAsTED
WITH AMERICAN.

Consular reports on the subject
show that, in the German pottery
trade, men earn from rs cents to
$1.32 a day, and women-by far the
largest number of employees in the
establishments-earn from $2.16 to
1884 per week. 1t does not require
the wisdom of Solomon to understand
that the competition of free trade
would ruin the pottery workers of this
country, who make more in. a day than
those people do in a week.
The ware may be brought across
the ocean cheaper than It may be
transported from one end Of New
York state to the other by rail-.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
Making = pietionary.

When johnson got his famous die.
tionary started he calculated that with
six assistants he could complete the
task In three years. 1t took him nine
years instead. He received the smaD
recompense Of $500 and had to pay
his assistants out Of that.
Webster worked twenty-four Year,
before his dictionary made Its bow t.
the world. Webster was very punctn
ious in his definitions and so painstak.
ing that 1t was a wonder he completed
the work when he did.
The words which give the compile,
Of q dictionary the most trouble are
the little one syllable Saxon words
Their history extends; back into the
Saxon period, and their meaning has
become twisted in many directions
Words with pedigrees are the hardest
to trace.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
Thought He Had Died.

G
A prominent member Of a German
American society told a story about a
German friend of his who was taken
Ill. For many days the German was
close to death, but after a time he
showed improvement in condition. The
doctor told the Germans wife that her
husband might have anything to eat
that he liked.
The German expressed a desire for
limburger cheese, and the wife. being
a generous woman and pleased at The
improvement and in order that her
husband might have a nlbble at any
time he had a taste for 1t, put some
cheese in every room in the house. 1t
is easy to imagine the aroma.
The next morning the doctor called
at the house, and as 500 as he opened
the door he asked:
.When did he dic?"-Hartford Post,
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
ANSWER.

They do. things differently in the
old world.
An interview, purporting to have
been given by the emperor Of Ger
many is published in New York on
Saturday afternoon, and the follow
ing Monday, a bill is passed in the
house of lords, authorizing the rafs-
ing Of an army Of 1000, 900 men.
That interview may not have been
authentic-probably was not. That it
was inspired, however, there is cas-
on to believe. In just whose brain
the idea was conceived is neither here
nor there-it may have originated in
London.
It touched on vital points-for it
took England by the ears, and at the
same time directed the attention of
the world to the weakest point in her
armor. There are SO many ways to
cover the dispatch of a transport
fleet. "
There were truths in that interview,
whoever gave it out. They were so
patent, and the weakness Of Great
Britain was set out in such a glaring
manner, that Lord Roberts, in a set
speech, practically acknowledged
every statement, by advocating the
enlistment of a new army, large
enough to make any nation in the
world hesitate at the thought Of land
ing on the English coast.
This is Great Britains' answer to
the world, and while the army is in
process of organization, we may be
certain that the fleet will keep a
watchful eye on Germany, and guard
more jealousy than ever, the seas
that afford such a broad highway be-
tween the mainland and the treasure
isle. &
When the protection of her flag is
concerned, the English may be re-
lied upon to act without delay, and
not take into consideration the cost
while doing it. II
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
THE HANGING GARDENS or MAN
HAITIAN.

Rev. Charles Parkhurst is making
a war (of words) on big hats, with
roof garden tops, that slide into his
church. He declares that these sky
scrapers interfere with the scenery
that the man who occupies q back
seat, is at a disadvantage, because he
cannot see what is going on )
II these hats appeared at a theater.
or a dog fight, the man In the rear
could shout "Down in Front" and
presto, the change.
But he may not do that in church.
II he did he would create a rough
house, and find himself led, gently,
but firmly, nevertheless, to the curb
stone, where the other donkeys are
tied. a
So he must grin and bear it--or
stay away from the house Of worship.
Aye, there's the rub.
The chances are that that is just
what they doing, and that is the reas
on Rev. Mr.. Parkhurst has declared
war on the hanging gardens Of Man
haitian.
The dear creatures may not wear
one of these monstrosities in a the
alter, but she does not hesitate to OBJ
struct the view with a woodland scene
in church, with the result that the
fellow who has contributed to the
support of the place, must have decid-
ed that he is in the wrong pew, when
he takes up a position behind a nod
ding grove of ribbons, plumes, flow
ers and birds. It is no wonder that
he seeks the quiet of some place
where, with a stein in n hand and a
pretzel in the other, he may watch
uninterruptedly, the waiter who col
lects his toll of tips, while sweet mus
ic filters through the adjoining forest
of fake palms.
We wish Rev. Mr.. Parkhurst good
luck in his fight, He is a great and a
brave man, for he has tackled a con-
ceit that would made the Roman le-
sgion terrible, and that has sent
Statesmen and logicians bowling to
the tall and uncut. .
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
A Woman's Reason.

"Of all the foolish reasons girls give
for wishing to marry, or rather not to
remain SINGLE" said Miss Afternoon
Tea, II think because she wants Mrs.
on her tombstone is the most inane.
Why should she want 1t there where
she cannot see It? would rather
have Mrs. on my visiting cards than
on my tombstone, wouldn't you.
Claricey
Eyes, dear, and that reminds mt l
asked Jane Smiley yesterday why she
was marrying so much sooner than
she intended when I last saw her.
She said. oh, my visiting cards are
almost gone, and | do not care to or
der another hundred of these, 10 l am
hurrying up getting my new name to
have engraved on them."-St. Louis
Times.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
Not Al Los.

Quotations cleverly malapropos or
neatly distorted furnish half the wit
Of the professional humorist. Never
theless. when such a verbal misstep 10
spontaneous. there is often real fun
in 1t.
A young man had been out sailing
with his sister and a friend of hers.
He did not know particularly well the
fine points of the art, and on trying to
make the landing against a head wind
he exclaimed after several vain at
tempts:
well, it is better to have luffed and
lost than never to have lufed at all"
Youths Companion. II
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
PROFIT in RAISING SUGAR sEETs

PROFIT IN RAISING SUGAR BEETs
The inquiry directed from Boston,
as to the profit in the raising of sugar
beets, is interesting from more than
n point Of view.
1t is interesting, to note the conclu-
sions Of the other fellow-the mar
in Boston.
The National Magazine conducted
the inquiry, to ascertain just what is
being done, and to that end letters
we're directed to bankers, postmasters,
assessors and men of prominence
throughout the sugar beet raising sec
lions of the United States, with the
idea of ascertaining the amount of
revenue derived, and the profit taken
down.
The results are astonishing, and
most prominent among them is the
fact that the average price paid per
acre for sugar beets in this country
is $69.4O. Add to this the additional
information that mortgages have de-
creased s25 to 80 per cent among the
r~aisers, and there is food for relec-
ton.
Then comes the question of land
value. Before the desert was cult
waited by the beet raiser, the ground
had little or no value. Since the first
crop has matured, the price per acre
rules at from $500 to $3.50, the in
crease being from 20 to 24O per cent.
The average price prior to the cult.
walton by the beet raiser was $34.28.
But the beet raiser and his prosper.
ity is the smallest part of it. The
industry has instilled new life into
many communities, has enhanced the
value Of farm lands for miles and in
creased the worth of city property
caused rents to Jump, quickened
trade, and generally benefited all lines
and classes of business.
All Of which points a moral.
Why remain on an eastern farm in
penury. or a large town in poverty
when you may come west, and in one
year live like a prince with the same
effort, measured in work, on the one
hand, and capital invested, on the
other?
Why?
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
Would BE Missed.

~ know what you'll miss most
about us" said her neighhor, who was
moving from the building. .'our tele-
phone. that you have been using. 1
shall never forget that night you call
ed us up from somewhere where you
had concluded to spend the night,
that you had left your fat unlocked
and were afraid there was a burglar
in 1t. Would we go and see II there
was a burglar in 1t?
Wasn't that a nice thing to ask MS
to do? Here l had to get out of bed,
wake up the hired girl and the ele-
vator man aud the janitor and go look
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
QUEER EXPRESSIONS,
Used BY Those Who Wish 70 oMsas
Without Being Profans.

Without Being Prefans.
Pseudo wear words are OF strange
and wondrous kind, and great ings-
nuity Ia used In thinking them up.
OF course darn and during parent
age is not hard to guess, but such ex-s
presstons as sgeewillikins,' "golly"
and gosh" when used as substitutes
for profane words, are harder to trace.
A southerner nee vas heapd to 9
In the curse Of q single description
the expressions dog bite 'em,'' "gosh
nj ashho0ks," dad rat EN-" and
'jumpin' gee whiz."
From a nan who lives In Connect
cut come these expressions: Great
horned toads and firecrackers,' "guu
swat" ''gol dast 1t" and '''by the ter
nal bowwows."
A Pennsylvania Is responsible fos
the expression ''sacriAcial pollywogs,'
the meaning Of which is not exactly
clear. Many HOLSTERS swear 'sby era
W." and the exclamation Jimmy
krauts" is common in some parts Of
the country. A Chicago man relieves
his overweight feelings after missing
9 shot In billiards by shouting sacred
camels' and monk Of the forest"
The Germans like to make remarks
about thunder and lightning when
they wish to be real naughty, the
Frenchmen take to little sayings about
a Thousand cannons'' or some large
number Of "thunders,' and sailors are
credited with great oaths embodyinE
the great horn spoon" or a willing
ness to ''shiver my timbers," but prob
ably the American who wishes to
swear without being profane finds AZ
many queer expressions as any one
Chicago Tribune. l&
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
The Danger.

The busy man stopped before an Of
ice building and leaped from his car.
riage. at the same moment an am.
bilious urchin ran forward and piped:
"Hey, mister, kin ] hold yer horse?"
mo. you can't" snapped the busy
man.
won't charge y much" insisted the
urchin.
II don't care about the charge i'm
patiently responded the man, throw
ing a blanket over his bony steed. my
horse will not run away"
Gee, mister, | didn't think he'd run
away!
mop
mo. l thought he might fall down"
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
Plates Thee,say.

1t is difficult to say what idea Plato
had of the Deity. The best scholars
in the world have been trying to settle
the question for centuries without
having reached anything like an agree.
ment. But it Is clear that he believed
In a supreme power and intelligence.
which he seems to make synonymous
with wisdom" and goodness"
Whether he considered the Deity to
be personal or ..impersonal" 1t is
impossible to say. Plato taught the
doctrine Of future retributlon and ex-
onerates God from all responsibility
for physical and moral evil. - New
York American.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
TO THE POINT.

Nature is too busy to turn out hand
some men.
1t sometimes happens that a distan.
relation is too close.
Men fight with their fists; women
fight with their tears.
It's easy for a sharp man to make a
tool of a dull one.
There is nothing like a good bust
plant for raising money.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27

The way to make money with mon
ey, is to come to Montana, and put it
in pretty nearly anything. After that
you just step back a pace or two and
watch it grow.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
The beginning. of excellence is to be
tree from error.-Onintillian.
Raaiicm.

Advertisements on the scenery!
exclaimed the star That's carrying
commercialism really too far"
'''Tt isn't commercialism." exclaimed
the manager. I'VE want the scene to
look like a real meadow. don't we?'-
London Tit-Rits.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
HOW TO MAKE MONEY IN BILL
lNGs.

If you want to make money, build
houses in Billings land rent them.
There is not a vacant building in the
town. Every rented house brings the
top notch price. 1T costs no more to
build here than elsfwhere.' The quick
er you get into te swim the sooner
you will commence to make big re-
turns on your money.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27

The ministers of the Kansas-Mis-
souri, zinc fields, are to offer up a
prayer on Thanksgiving, petitioning
the Almighty for a tariff on zinc. The
prayers will have a mteallic ring.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
The Recounition.

Friend-Hello. Pat! / scarcely knew
you with your whiskers of. Pat
The same wild me. me bhoy. l
didn't know meself when l looked
into the glass except by me voice
London Telegraph.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27

Thousands, according to the Butte
Miner, will visit that city the coming
year. We admit, with Paddy Rodgers
and the spielers as attractions, that
Butte presents a display unequaled
in any other city o the globe. Truly,
the side show business has developed
wonderfully in the past few years.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
Quite Natural.

well, how does It feel to have a
niche in the Temple Of Famey'
'Quite NATURAL replied the now eel
ebrated poet. 1--WE always lived in a
hall Observation-Disclosures City Journal.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
What Did He Mean2

Wife lat dinner,-Cook left us this
morning. Husband-Who cooked the
dinner? Wife-I did. Husband-Real-
~? Well. We'll have to get a new cook
right away.-Lippincott's.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
Consolation.

Spa" boohooed the chastised SON,
If l had let Willie Simmonds lick me
instead Of me licking him. would
you've whipped me just the same"
"Yes; but remember that in such a
case you would be getting two lickings
in place Of one!"-Judge.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
IA Martyr.

A Martyr.
The politician had been charged with
perjury.
"What's that?" he asked languidly.
Swearing to a falsehood."
"Why, any chump could swear to the
truth" exclaimed the politician. "I'm
the victim of professional jealousy,
that's what" he added. with manifest
Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
acienfliie.

Briggs-ls there such a thing as a
scientific kiss? Griggs-Surely: n in
which You succeed in breaking away
from the girl without becoming. en-
gagged to her.-Kansas City 1ndepend.
ent. .
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27

Andrew Carnegie is rich enough,
and honest enough to admit that the
steel industry does not require the
continuance OF such a high degree OF
protection.
There is a reason for this.
While there is a great deal of iron
ore in the United States very little
of the ore In sight is available for
the making Of steel.
The ore must ne OF that variety
known, technically, as hematite or
magnetic. No other ores of iron are
valuable to the iron or steel trade.
And these ores are themselves use
less if they contain more than 2 per
cent in sulphur, 1k to 2 per cent OF
silica, of " of i per cent OF phospno-
rous.
Thus it is that the ore bodies pure
" oxide in character are rapidly beng
worked out, and we must have needs
for a greater supply as soon as the
amount now developed has been de-
pleted.
Andrew Carnegie knows this-all
the steel men are acquainted with
the fact. @
The tariff must come down, to ad-
NIT certain grades of foreign ores,
to bring up and add to the efficiency of
certain deficient grades Of American
ores.
This is a case where the tariff acts
as a boomerang.
All this will doubtless be brought
out in the committee though the mere
fact that the steel corporation may
stand a substantial decrease in the
matter Of tariff, will, no doubt, Gre
ate more interest among the peopse
than any other one fact-not with a
view to taking from a single man
employed by those corporations q
penny, not with the view of taking
from the iron miner a ton of his ore
with n penny less profit than he OBJ
E &aGE @EU N N&
tains at the present moment. Rather,
the new arrangement will permit the
miner to market a greater supply OF
ore that he must now handle twice,
in order to get out the grade necessa-
~, and by bringing out a greater sup
ply Of a better grade, increase the
number OF employees in the steel N.
dustries by making the prices lower
that is to say, by lessening the
price on the finished product, taking
smaller profit, but more then turning
the money faster.
All this, doubtless Mr.. Carnegie
sees. Certain it is, that, whether 1t
applys to the iron and steel industry,
or what not, it is the intention of the
revision committee to make changes,
with justice to the consuming public,
and without practdcing any injustice
toward the manufacturer.
This illustration in the matter Of
iron ore, is therefore, apt.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27

Farmers who bring gobblers to Bill
ings should either kill them first or
anchor them securely before passing
the attractive window displays.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27

When the Montana steer strikes the
Chicago market, it is several cents
higher than any other brand. That's
the Montana way.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27

Perhaps the school authorities
granted thai week Of vacation with
the idea of giving the small boy time
to digest his Thanksgiving dinner.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27

Things are 80 quiet IN Arkansas
that it takes a tornado TO wake 'em
up. Glad we don't live in that kind
of a country.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
Most Extraordinary

He has certainly raised his family
in an old fashioned way"
"So?"
why, that mans children actually
ask him for advice" - Washington
Herald.
The Billings gazette. [volume] (Billings, Mont.) 1896-1919, 1908-11-27
The heiaht Of Hospitality.

Hewitt suppose that when your
uncle comes to New York you will see
That he is properly entertained? Jew
,tt-Yes; he shall have everything that
lis money will buy.-Puck.