The Washington herald., 1908-06-24
GOOD-BY. BLONDS!
Scientists Say You're Doomed 10 Ex-
tinctiOn in Six Centuries.

Scientists Say You're Doomed 10 Ex-
tinctiOn I'm Six Centuries.
Despite the use Of peroxide and face
lotions, the blonds are passing. They
are getting scarcer every aay. and they
viii disappear entirely in six centuries,
according 10 the melancholy prediction
Of science. There viii be no more fair
compilations 10 light UP the Rialto. no
more golden locks 10 give contrast IN
the spangled ranks Of the chorus. The
world will be a wilderness OF brunette
beauty, ranging between the shades OF
coffee and bituminous coal Lovers will
sigh and dream Of the golden past, un-
less they are quite blinded by their pas
sion. Artists viii resign themselves to
studies in black and white. A blond
person who appears in the street will
probably be arrested for drawing a crowd.
Even red whiskers win be an extreme
rarity. only exhibited In dime museums.
and the juxtapOsition OF white horses and
red-headed girls viii be a miracle
II is a frightful prospect as sketched
by Frederick Boyle IN The Contempt
rary Review" and one that is aueviated
only by its comparative remoteness. HUI
manity may be able TO think up some
means Of staving of its brunette doom
within the next coo years. Ii might
decide 10 wear wigs or spend part Of
each season at internationa bleacheries
established at the north pole The con-
crosses and parliaments Of the world
might offer a reward for the discovery Of
a hair dye that won't run and a face
cream that won't taste like oleamarga-
rire Six centuries do give us a little
breathing time 20 take steps against the
descent Of darkness
The fair complexioned folk. it seems.
are not fitted 10 survive in these. modern
days of quick luncheons and subway
travel. They We're all right TO conquer
and colonize the world when that was
healthy outdoor exercise, but they can't
compete with the brunettes now in the
hustle and close quarters Of great cities.
The whole -Aryan race is probably on the
downhill This race includes the Hindus.
Anglo-SaXons, Afghans, Germans. Greeks.
PERSONS, Irish. French. and other tribes
who generally despise one another and
call the other kind "dagoes" The whole
lot Of them are losing their blue eyes.
pale checks. and light hair. as II the evo-
lutionary makeup man were preparing
them for a minstrel show. The process
did not begin yesterday. but It has no
doubt been accelerated with the speedy
development Of modern conditions. The
blonds were great lighters and migrat-
ors. The Homeric heroes had mostly
golden locks. and the Athenians were
probably fair and blue eyed. like the early
Nenetians and the so-called Moors who
conquered Spain.
It is asserted that even in modern times
the bodily structure correlated with a
fair complexion has proved itself supe-
rior in colonizing enterprises, resisting the
vironment generally The West Coast
Of Africa is not SO fatal 20 the red-hair-
ed white men as to brunette types. and
the same fact is said 10 be noted in the
far East and tropical America. At home
and in cities the brunettes forge to the
front. Statistics dealing with recruits
in the civil war taken from the govern
ment records at Washington are inter
preted to prove that the brunette type.
as a whole. offers greater resistance TO
disease" II city life Is unsuited 70 the
fair complexloned. it is obvious that the
increasing trend of population from
country TO town Will lead 10 the disap-
pearance OF tie weaker type and in a
calculabie period Of time. Two London
physicians. Dr. ShrubSall and DR. Jones.
have made observations from thousand
cases OF children in hospitals. and both
series Of figures "show a marked pre-
dominance not only of blond traits but
laries." On the other hand the Rev.
greater amount Of disease" The bad
air and the foul stenches of the slums,
perhaps the moral filth also, are too
much for the fair compleX.ons. The bru-
nettes are fttest TO survive under tkis
unnatural, state Of things.