davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14
The Lady and the Aneodote.
From the Phiiadeiphia Bulietin.

FTUm IH6 FhIIaueIphIa Bulletin,
Qounah Parker, the millionaire chief
OF the Comanches, was discussing In
Guthrie a new Indian bill.
The bill is no good said the chief.
1T would not have any effect. 1t re-
minds me Of a young French lady In
washington.
Il was dining in Washington at an
ambassadors house, and this young.
lady was the only female guest. An
italian duke wanted to tell an anecdote,
but he hesitated.
My story he said, is a very good
one, but II is rather low in the neck,
and before the young lady"
But she laughed and interrupted
him.
"'Oh, don't mind mel" she said. TIL
shut my eyes. Go on"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14
wIDOWS,under NEW LAW ootainet
PENSIONS Washington. .. Z.
righteousness


From the boneHnldH'
Policeman--Judge, this prisoner acted
as II he was insane at the baseball
game yesterday. .
Judge-What did he do.
Policeman-During the game M
threw his watch at n of the players
Prisoner-It was an Ingersoll, judge,
and / was endeavoring to make the
visiting catcher muff a foul fly.
Policeman-A few moments later he
ran through the grandstand shrieking
like a wild person and smashing other
mems hats ..
Prisoner-One of u team swatted
out q three-bagger and brought In
three runs making the game a tie.
Policeman-The next second he
jumped onto the diamond and assaulted
the umpire.
Prisoner (excitedly)-The umpire
called that three-base hit a foul, judge
Judge Can old fan)-The prisoner 1:
| discharged. Oflcer, l reprimand yoI
for your righteousness.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

From the st. Louis Times.
LORD Russell, a famous jurist, once
went to Scotland to help the liberals IN
a. campaign. He purposely began his
speech with q few sentences OF bad
Scotch, and then when the confusion
caused by the blunder had subsidized, he
said;
Gentlemen, / do not speak Scotch,
but / vote Scotch, and i often drink
Scotch" He was greeted with tre-
mendous applause.
When Russell was q young man he
was sitting in a court listening to q
trial for bigamy. A friend leaned
across to him and asked, Russell
what Is the extreme penalty fol
bigamy?'
two mothersinlaw," was the reply
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

OF a collapse with
K | d n e troubles,
~backache, dizziness,
puffy dropsy swell
ings and urinary ir-
Irregularities. / lost
flesh and felt Ian
guild, v or un-
strung all the time.
AS my doctor did
nnf haIn me- I hppan
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14
In the FREQ Vaccination Ward.

A Lithuanian woman was getting her
fifth baby vaccinated the other day.
Il am glad" said the young surgeon,
that you recognize the Importance of
vaccination" J
"Oh, yes" she said. II often wonder"
she added pensively, what it's done
for, though. It's to show you're a free
citizen, the same as naturalization pa
pers, amt it?" ~
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

using Doan's Kidney Pills. In a few
weeks all these symptoms left me. !
now weigh 1863 pounds and feel In ex-
cellent health"
Sold by all dealers, 80 cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y. s
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

Valparaiso is only about 5000 miles
from New York, but II requires from
20 TO so days to get a reply to a bust
ness letter, and to get on order filled
and delivered generally takes from Ave
to six months, when IL should be ac-
complished in one-half the time, as is
the case from Europe. ~
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14
AT A CRITICAL M

Dangerous kidney Disorders.
Mrs. John Kirk, r.. #. d. No. 2, De
troit, Mich, says Five years ago at a
critical time Of life I was on the verge
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14
CARTEL
Di&estiVS Tablet
your druggist, or the GARFIELD TEA CO..
Brooklyn. NY; 25c per bot; samples upon request.
Am Annronriata ArticIa.

From the Baltimore American.
I'VE want to get up a geographical
lunch. What is the first country you
would put on the menu?"
Il should suggest the Sandwich is
lands"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

y ? S. ,ms: s.1i; : rss q ;, T Sr, Kline. 1.' S1:..
Nerve RestoreT, Send for Free % Trial bottle and treatise
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

One of the most common errors in
farming is the overstocking of pas
lures. It is fully as important that we
adapt stock to u summer forage, as
to our winter folders.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14
With Intent or Not2
From the Denver Post.

, She lives on Emerson street; he lives
@ few blocks further east. She had a
birthday recently, and he gave her a
fine hand mirror as a present. She was
delighted.
I'm glad you like it," he said.
Think Of me once in a while when you
use 1t, will you?" -
Yes, indeed she replied. TIL
think OF you every time l use It,"
oh" he said, you don't have to
think Of me all the time"
Somehow or other she didn't quite
like that reply. .'#
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

Are you in lover Silhouette post cards
will help you. Series 10 only l5c-32 diff
ferent subjects, 2c catalogue free. s.. Z.
Reese, Watseka, Ill,
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

For Any Disease or Injury to
the eye, use PETTITs EYE SALvE, abb
solutely harmless, acts quickly. All drug
gists or Howard Bros. Buffalo, N. Y.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

! The, passenger traffic over the Eng
lish channel last yea was AS, 4S0, an
increase Of $4,000 oyer the preceding
year.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

Among the flowers the ~chrysanthe-
mum is said to live the longest after
being cut.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

e Don't let the manure accumulate in
the stable. The foul odors will get into
the milk and there is no way of getting
them out again.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14

This woman says that sick
women should not fail to try
lydia IL. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound As she did.
Mrs. "A. Gregory, of 1855 Lawrence
St, Denver, Col, writes to Mrs.
Pinkham:
az was practically an invalid for six
years. on account Of female troubles.
I underwent an operation by the
doctors advice, but in q few months i
was worse than before. A friend adj
yised Lydia Il. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound and IL restored me TO perfect
health, such as I have not enjoyed In
many years. Any woman suffering as
I did with backache, bearing-down
pains, and periodic pains, should not fail
to use Lydia E Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound.n
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-05-14
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN

For thirty years Lydia u. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
andhas positively cured thousandsof
women who have been troubled with
displacements, Inflammation, ulcera-
ton, fbroid tumors, Irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bear
fng-downfe feeling, fatulency, indiges-
ton, dizziness ornervous prostration.
Why don't you try itf
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick
women to write her for advice.
She has guided thousands to
health. Address, Lynn, Mass.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
BUSINESS MANAGER FoR CHURCH
Cleveland institution Plans to Try .
New System.

The Epworth Memorial Methodist
church in Cleveland has decided to try
a new system of church management.
A business manager has been ap-
pointed who will give his entire time
and attention 20 the finances of the
church. AS executive secretary he
will collect the benevolences, dues Of
members, subscriptions, etc, and pay
al expenses. He will serve as Sec
retary Of the standing committees Of
The church and keep a record of their
business for transmission to the off.
cial board. This, 1t is expected, will
leave the pastor free to give atten-
ton to the larger plans of the work
and to his pulpit and pastoral duties.
Epworth Memorial has the largest
membership of all the Protestant
churches in the city. 1t has an ex-
tenSive charity work and handles over
$35, 900 in contributions every year.
DR.. G. X. Morris, district superin-
tendent, strongly commends the in
novation. ITO my mind" he says, 1T
is the ideal of church government.
expect to see the plan adopted In
many other cities"
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
Women in Finland.

In Finland the meetings Of suf-
fragettes are unknown, for already
women are students in the university,
clerks in the banks, in the post Offices
and in business houses, and they not
only have their vote but can be elect
ed members Of the diet. Yet, accord
ing to Paul Waineman in her Sum
mer Tour in Finland" they are mot
in the least overbearing, but are for
the greater part exceedingly modest
and womanlike"
AS she landed one of the recently
elected members of the diet was point
ed out to her; she was well dressed
and young looking, with keen, deep.set
eyes and a pleasant smile, and in no
way resembled the grotesque carica-
lures Of the women members of the
Finnish diet in some English jour-
nails"
Even the paths of Helsingfors are
scrupulously brushed every morning
by regiment Of barefooted women,
and in this work they are employed
all over the grand duchy; in fact, a
mere man may well pause and wonder
for what purpose he was created in
Finland.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
Mummies from Mexican Ruins,

"Mummified remains of beings who
existed hundreds of years ago have
been dug up during the work of ex-
cavating that has been going on in the
old catacombs of Guanajuato, Mexico"
said Dr. S. Burg of Baltimore. "The
people whose bodies were discovered
must have lived long before the set
tlement of the republic, and the finds
have occasioned much interest among
scientific men. Some of the bodies
were decked with beads and ivory
trinkets that were in vogue before
the coming of the Spaniards, so that
these people must have lived in that
part of the country centuries ago. The
mummies were discovered under an
old cemetery while the excavations
were being made by some prospecting
miners"
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05

through the streets in an ambulance,
with leg and ankle that would lay
him up for weeks to come, and 10000
bruises distributed impartially over
his person, but Messrs. William Ly-
man and M. Collins were far away,
speeding through the land in a Pull
man car and drinking cool drinks.
Even j. Brownley and his exasper.
ated aids did not guess that they had
done this thing.
1T was a great game" sighed Mr..
Collins, contentedly, tapping his glass
with his finger and noting with
dreamy satisfaction that their nearest
fellow-traveler was three chairs away.
1T was the slickest thing I've seen
this season, and there was lots of
money dropped or pinched in the shut
f1e. l went in with the crowd, Billy,
and l made some fair pickings my
self"
SO did l." admitted Mr.. Lyman,
with a reminiscent chuckle. We've
made the haul of our lives this day,
and if Brownley wasn't killed, it'll
take him all summer to piece himself
together again. 1t certainly was a
great game, Mickey. Well work it
again"
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
BROKEN LEGS AND FLOWERS.
True Artistic temperament as Evi
denced by Landor.

"At dinner in Philadelphia" said a
clergyman, Il once heard the lament.
ed Bishop Potter talk in a most anus.
ing manner about the artistic ten,pera.
ment.
First he described the contradic.
tions in the characters of Whistler
Poe, Hawthorne and other great Amer
leans. Then he turned to Landor, the
great Englishman.
Landor, he said, was at the same
time the most violent and brutal and
the most delicate and sensitive OF
men. He adored flowers. The gar.
dens of his beautiful villa in Florence
were full of flowers, and the poet
walked among them daily, neve,
pluckfng them, only bending over them
reverently to admire their loyeliness
and their perfume.
"Landor's cook one day served him
a wretched dinner, and in his rage the
poet threw the man out of the win.
dow into bed Of splendid roses.
"As the cook writhed with a broker
leg below, Landor from the window ex
claimed in horror-stricken voice:
Good gracious. forgot the
rosesl'" IS
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
LIVING GOLD OF WHEAT FIELD.
Sensations Of a Ride Through the
Miles Of Moving Grain.

Take a look at the wheat field that
has been brought up to perfection. as
1t stands. Yellow as gold, with the sheen
of the sea, billo wing from skylineto sky
line like an ocean of gold, where the
wind touches the ripping waye-crests
with the tread of invisible feet. In
California, in Oregon, in Washington,
in Dakota, in the Canadian northwest,
you may ride all day on horseback
through the wheat fields without a
break in the flow of yellow heavy
headed grain. No shade trees. No
knobs and knolls and hills and hollows
of grass or black earth through. From
dawn till dark, from sunrise in burst
OF fiery splendor over the prairie hori-
zon to sundown when the crimson
thing hangs like a huge shield Of
blood in the haze of heat twilight
you may ride with naught to break
the view between you and the horizon
but wheat-wheat. 1t is like the gold
fields. 1t goes to your head. You
grow dizzy looking at it. You rub
your eyes. Is it a mirage? The bill
lowing yellow waves seem to be breast
ing the very sky. You look up. The
sky is there all right with the black
mote of a meadow lark sailing the
azure sea. He drops liquid notes Of
sheer music down on your head. does
that meadow lark; and that gives you
back your perspective, your sense of
amazing reality. You are literally, alb.
solutely, really, in the midst of sea
OF living gold. 1t is you and not the
lark that is the mote. You begin to
feel as if your special mote might be
beam that would get lost in infinity
if you stayed there long; and as you
ride on-and on-and some more on
and by and by come out of the
leaguelong, fenceless fields with an
odor in your nostrils that isn't exactly
like incense-it's too fugitive, too fine,
too sublimal of earth. 1t is aromatic,
sort of altar of roses, the imprisoned
fragrance of the billions upon billions
of wheat towers shut up in the glumes
of the heavy-headed grain here. And
that's the Odor of the wheat.-Minne-
apoliS Journal.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
PUZZLE SOLVED.
Coffee at Bottom Of Trouble.

1t takes some people long time to
find out that coffee is hurting them.
But when once the fact is clear,
most people try to keep away from
the thing which is followed by ever
increasing detriment to the heart,
stomach and nerves.
Until two years ago was a heavy
coffee drinker," writes an Ill. stock
man, "and had been all my life. l am
now Sc years old.
About three years ago l began to
have nervous spells and could not
sleep nights, was bothered by indi-
gestion, bloating, and gas on stomach
affected my heart.
Il spent lots of money doctoring-
one doctor told me l had chronic ca
tarrh of the stomach; another that I
had heart disease and was liable to
die at any time. They all dieted me
until l was nearly starved but 1
seemed to get worse instead of better.
Having heard of the good Postum
had done for nervous people, l dis
carded coffee altogether and began to
use Postum regularly. soon got bet
ter, and now, after nearly two years,
can truthfully say l am sound and
we'll.
Il sleep we'll at night, do not have
the nervous spells and am not both
cred with indigestion or palpitation.
weigh 80 pounds more than when
began Postum, and am better every
way than ever was while drinking cof-
fee. can't say too much in praise of
Postum, as am sure it saved my life" I"
There's "a Reason"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read ''The Road to Well
vile, in pkgs.
Ever read the nbOve Iettere A new
one appears from time 70 tiEae. They
@re genuine tEUcs and full of human
interest.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
Counting by Machinery.

A Swedish inventor has designed
an apparatus for counting money and
sorting the pieces into specified guam
titles. In the first place, money of
various denominations is put into the
machine and separated according to
value, these being sent into various
tubes. When in the tubes the coins
can be taken out in lots of 10, 20, so or
100 pieces, at the will of the operator.
The apparatus is capable of separat
ing, counting and dividing into the iGts
before mentioned $4,000 pieces a an
hour. One machine under one 0pera-
tor is able to accomplish in the day
as much counting as could bs done by
50 most experienced bank cashiers.-
Dundee Advertiser.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05

It was evident that the directors
were very nervous. Anxiously they
awaited the coming of the president,
who had summoned them in haste. At
length he appeared. greatly distressed
Gentlemen" he said, Il am very
sorry to say that it is my duty to i'm
part to you some disagreeable news.
I assure you that this is the saddest
day of my life. l would rather have
cut off my right arm than been com
PEELED to send for you on an occasion
of this kind 1t is most"
Whats the matter?" one of the
directors impatiently asked.
"The cashier has AWAITED"
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
The Touchstone of Ethics.

The surest touchstone (of beliefs)
is the ethical standard which, through
inheritance, education and the expe-
rience Of daily life has, as a matter
of fact, become our standard. 1t is
not for our happiness to believe any
proposition about the nature of man,
the universe, or God, which is really
at war with our fundamental instincts
of honor and justice, or with our
ideals of gentleness and love, no mat,
ter how those instincts and ideals
have been implanted or arrived at.
The man or woman who hopes to at.
tain reflective happiness, as he works
his strenuous way through the world,
must bring all beliefs, old and new, to
this critical test, and must reject, or
refuse to entertain. beliefs which do
not stand the test.-President Eliot
of Harvard, in his Essay on "The Hap.
nv Life"
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
is YEARS OF SUFFERING.
Burning, Painful Sores on Legs
Tortured Day and Night-Tried
Many Remedies to No Avail
Cured by Cuticura.

after an attack of rheumatism,
running sores broke out on my hus.
bands legs, from below the knees to
the ankles. There are no words to
tell all the discomforts and great suf-
fering he had to endure night and day.
He used every kind of remedy and
three physicians treated him, one after
the other, without any good results
whatever. One day l ordered some
Cuticura Soap, Cuticura Ointment,
and Cuticura Resolvent. He began
to use them and in three weeks all the
sores were died up. The burning fire
stopped, and the pains became bear
able. After three months he was quite
well, l can prove this testimonial at
any time. Mrs. v. " Albert, Upper
FrenchVille, Me-, July 81, 1907"
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05

Some years ago, when the late
Judge John Henry Mccarthy was
candidate for the bench, says the He.
brew Standard, in district populated
by both Hebrews and Irish, there was
displayed in an East Broadway win
dow a banner which read: Vote for
John Henry McCarthy-the friend Of
The Hebrew" An Irishman on his way to
the polls espied the sign and grew in
dignant. He remarked, vote for the
friend of the Hebrews?' I'll be hanged
If l will. I'll vote for the other fell
low" And he did, the "other fellow"
being Henry M. Goldfogle.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
LAMENT FOR CHANGED TIMEa
Adoniram corntop Discourses on Pres.
ent-Day ExtraVagance.

"Yes, stree, Bill, times is changed
since you an me was doin' our court
in" said Adoniram Corntop, with a
note of sadness in his voice, to old
Andy Glover, who had come over to
set a SPELL"
When we was doin' our courtin',
Andy, gal thought she was bein'
treated right harnsom if a feller
bought her ten cents wuth O. pep'mints
once in awhile, an if he TUX her to
any doin's in town she didn't expect
him to go down into his jeans to the
tune of dollar or two fer ice cream
an soda water an candy at fo'ty cents
a paound. My son 81 TUX his duckey-
doodle to the band concert in town
yistiday an there want quarter left
of dollar bill he struck me fer time
he got home. Beats all the way young
folks throw the money away nova
days. l tell ye times is changed
nightly since we was boys, an the
Lawd only knows what the end will
be with feller layin' out rs cents, on
gal in one day."-Puck.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
LIVED ON TEN CENTS A WEEK.
Bill DooIittIe's System a Good One,
But Not Attractive.

"D'y'u find smoking hurts y'u"
asks Hi Biddle, a Yankee lawyer, in
Willie Brooks story, "The Solar Ma
chine" in Harper's.
1T probably doesn't do me any
good" l said; "but I'd have trouble
quitting it,"
mo, y'u wouldn't. Smoke this" ;"
He took from his vest pocket the fel-
low to the stogey in his mouth and
tossed 1t across the table to me. Ever
hear how Bill Doolittle lived on ten
cents week."
confessed that Bills economies
had never been brought to my atten-
ton.
WAL" said Biddle, "he took dinner
with friend on Sunday, an ate
enough to last i'm till Wednesday.
Then he bought ten cents wuth O.
tripe, an he hated tripe so like thun-
der that it lasted i'm the rest O. the
week. These seegars work a good
deal like that tripe. You take to
smokin' 'em, an y'u won't want more'n
one or two a day"
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
A Queer Harvest.

It was little Ethel's first visit to
church, and the sermon had for its
text, LAS ye SOW, so shall ye reap. )"
But on her return home she could not
remember it, and in consequence was
chided by her mother for being stupid
A fortnight later a seamstress came
to the house to do days work. After
watching her for awhile fashion old
style garments into those that we're
tn evogue, Ethel suddenly exclaimed:
20 mamma, I know now what the
preacher said. 1t was: What you sew
in the winter you shall rip in the sum-
mer.'"
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
500 Reward, SIOO.

The readers Of this paper will be pleased to learn
that there Is at least dreaded disease that science
has been able to cure in all its stages, and that s
Catarrh. Halls Catarrh Cure is the only positive
cure now known to the medical fraternity. Catarrh
being O constitutional disease requires a consttu-
tional treatment Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken in
ternaly, acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces OF the system, thereby destroying the
foundation OF the disease, and giving the patient
strength by building up the constitution and assist
ing nature In doing its work. The propretors have
so much faith in its curative powers that they offer
One Hundred Dollars for any case that 1t fails to
cure. Send for list Of testimonials
Address F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
Sold by all Druggists 75c
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-11-05
Just a Succession.

Il hear" said Mrs. Nexdore, that
that stubborn candidate for president
of your club has finally been induced
to withdraw in the interest of har-
mony."
YES" replied Mrs. Peppery; by
the way, it's a wonder you couldn't
induce your daughter to withdraw
from the piano occasionally for the
same reason"