Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-01-17


you know. Gerald-Yes, and most wo-
men are out for the dust-Town Top
les.
Old Lady lseeing a friend OFF on
Steamship Now do be careful. dear,
and don't forget TO give the captain a
shilling to keep off the rocks,-Puuch.
Young Lady (entering tobacconist's)
Il want to look at some cigars, please.
Suitable for a tall young man with
brown hair ALLY sloper's Half-HolI-
day.
Watts-What is the matter with
Thompson? He has got so he stam-
mers all the time. Potts-Hls wife
made him stop swearing. -Indianapolis
Journal
One good thing about marrying a
widow is that she doesn't expect so
much of you in the way of being
good, and talented, and noble-Somer-
vile Journal
Suitor-And is your daughter per-
fectly healthy7 Bankers Wife--She
ought to be, Last year we spent if
teen hundred dollars on her health
Meggendorfer Blaetter.
ledge" said the colored prisoner,
''is | expected ter tell de truthp
Why. OF course. you arer' well,
then, des so ahead an sentence me
fust l"-Atlanta Constitution.
Mistress why, Bridget. It seems to
me you want very large wages for one
who has had SO little experience. Rrid-
get Sure. mum, aint 1t harder for me
when l don't know howg-Life
She (encouragingiy) 1t is so IN.
just to accuse man of weakness be-
cause he's In love He (eynically -
Certainly IL is. He may have no in-
teutlon of marrying the girl Bystand-
| or.
.You New Workers don't seem to
know anything about the rest OF the
country" said the visitor THE rest
Of the country?' echoed the New
Yorker, where's thatY" Philadelphia
| ledger
| Sally Gay What cunning little
| fellow Mr. CallIpers is Dolly Swift
Cunning3 Why, he's dreadfully bow
| legged Sally Guy-~Yes, but that gives
| him such an arch look, you know
Truth.
| Dashaway--I want you to meet the
eldest Springer girl She is the most
intelligent Of the three of them. Clever
tonne, thanks I've learned more
than / ought TO know-from the other
| two. Life
Mrs. Newrich Don't you think, VIII
Item, now we are getting into the
smart set. that we should have coat
of-urrnsf Mr. N--Ccrtainly, my dear.
tn see my tailor about it tomorrow
London Opinion.
Mrs. Bacon see that nearly one
haiti Of the fishes caught in the Indian
Ocean belong 10 IA species not hereto
fore described in any book. Mrs. Egg
bert That must be where my husband
goes fishing Truth.
Nell really think May Is in love
with yon Ned--Do you really? WhyF
NeI!-I heard her remark yesterday
| that hoInelincss In a man Is not really
fault, but slgu Of character--Cath-
Gle Standard and Times.
The Manager--I've got a ncw idea
| for meiodrama that ought to make
n hit. The Writer What Is It? rhe
Manager -The idea is to Introduce a
! cyclone In the first act that will XIII all
the actors Harpers Weekly.
Dear. O. dear" sighed Mr. Sallow-
| day II wish 1 knew some good way to
acquire an appetite" Nonsense! 7" ex-
/ claimed his wife. what do you want
with an appetite? 1t would only give you
mere dyspepsia. Philadelphia Press.
.srhere liz one thing | dread" re-
| marked johnson, "and that Is pre-
| mature burial" Don't worry about
| that" replied Brown; ''the thing r. Inn
possible; there's no danger Of your
being buried too soon. Philadelphia
Star.
GLOW win you know when you have
really crossed the polef" said Wash
ington debutante TO Walter Wellman.
"Oh, that's easy" responded Mr.. Well
nan, careiessly. "The north wind will
become a south wind. - Success Mag
azine
Churcl--They tell ME they Will not
allow intoxicated men to ride on the
cars i'm New York? Gotham-That's
right. You see IL mans not in con
dition TO stand up there's no place for
him i'm New York car. -Yonkers
Statesman.
THE idea Of his calling me extrav-
agantt" exclaimed Mrs. Schoppen.
Well" replied her friend, perhaps
you're not as economical In your shop
ping as you might be" Nonsense
Why, never buy blessed thing but
/ bargains ~ Philadelphia Press.
Word Derivations.