The Manning times. [volume] (Manning, Clarendon County, S.C.) 1884-current, 1908-12-09

door closed and his wife left the
room. '.He thinks he's I0-horse
power, but he's only a poor old one
horse.
Adam had everything his owa
way and nature was handing him
out straights and three Of kind
ali the livelong day till the lady ar
rived on the scene and began to get
ready for the first cake and apron
sale. Then what happened to poor
old Adam? Well, by gracious, he
had to get out and dig! Son, take
it from me, we've been digging ever
since.
"Not that I mind digging. !
don't. But I'd like to do little
talking, too, by gum! I'm going tc
do it. You hear me! I'm working
on a system and il I stick around
a while we'll see.
Now my wife, she's about the
average verbose. That is she's got
good wind, pretty elaborate vo-
cabulary and willing heart. When
she makes real business Of it She
can comb things over some.
She's one of the kind that keeps
still for while until you've told
your little tale and then begins to
take systematic interest in it. She
asks questions. Honest, son, they're
the blamedest ones, they are-the
ones that ask questions.
Then when you've got yourself
all tied up and you don't know for
sure whether you spend the evening
with sick Elk or live tiger she
gets her cold, fshy eye on you and
she says: Henry she says, it needs
man with more originality than
you've got to get away with that
Hans Anderson she says. Now YOU
listen to me-'That's what gets me.
l don't want to listen. It's tire
some.
''Now, of course, there are several
ways to beat that game. In the frs.
place. you can get mad as hatte-
and grab your ha- and go out and
slam the door AFTER you. That
works with some of 'em. Not Wi IL
mine, though.
81 tried it once, and when I came
back an hour afterward the first
tthing I heard when I came In the
door was, And, Henry, as I was
saving I had interrupted her, but
she came back stronger.
There's another pretty good idea
a fellow was telling me about, but
it don't work with mine. That's
sitting still while she Is speaking
her little piece and saying, Yes,
dear, and No, dear, as nice as pie.
The fellow says they just naturally
can't get used to having any one
agree with them and it takes the
wind all out Of their sails. Well,
son, it might I don't know. 1t
don't work with mine.
There is one thought that I've
got good deal Of faith in. I just
:ried it out little to see how it
was going to work and I will say
chat I got better results from it tStian
from anything I ever did.
'It's scientific It's got regular
kind Of a name like. 1t is called
The Gamblers Last Resort See
what l mean? It's based on the old
poker principle of doubling your
bets to recoup your losses.
Listen here, son. This is it:
"You come home some time and
you see there's something in the air.
You know from past performances
that the colloquial monsoon is about
to take place. Get that? You Sc
the dark clouds looming on the do.
mestic horizon and you hear the
distant cracking of the forked light
ming that is going to blast you to
your roots pretty soon. The air is
hushed as they say in the classics.
There is something going to occur.
Well, sir, you don't get ready to
beat it. You decide to stay and
fight. That is, maybe you decide to
stay and fight. It depends on how
long you've Ieen carried or how
much natural foolhardiness you've
got
"Well, sir, she starts; she move.
She begins handing it to you from
both sides Of her mouth. It's moth
| ing short Of wonderful where she
ever gets her ideas from, but they're
hits, son.
"She dallies with the inanities Of
your boyhood, describes the teetotal
asininity of your present and casts a
few shrewd guesses over in the di-
rection of your probable future. It's
pretty, son-like an electrical storm
But it's dangerous.
well. here comes in The Gamb-
ler's Last Resort When she gets
going good give her chance to get
her pace and sort Of get oiled up.
Then sass her back
"Eh? That's an idea for YOU
But you never would have thought
Of that, by gracious! Yes, sir; talk
right up to her. Get her madder::
Get her hopping!
''See what I mean? Every tim;
she comes to the end of line where
you ought to shiver just spruce up
and act sort Of debonair Say, My!
but your nose is red! You must be
laced terribly. m'dear.' Something
like that. See? Nothing definite
what she can hold You on. Just
kinder like you weren't paying mucl:
attention.
We'll. sir. you'll be surprised.
She'll get so mad you can see the
sparks coming out Of her eyes.
She'll talk faster and faster, and