Fitzgerald enterprise. (Fitzgerald, Ga.) 1895-1912, 1908-01-03
Dom { you ely
You'll be a drug store
By and by.

s'January was named after Janus Bifrons:
known as 1.-TWO Faced Janus" He was the orlg-
nator of what is known as ''the politicians life
saver" A wave of prohibition sweeping
Rome and Bifrons, candidate for the Senate had
to explain every third man he met. But he was
foxy Dago, and when he was asked, ''Do you drink
Bifrons?'' He asked Is this al invitation, or do
you Just want to knOW?'
"Rome had gate named for Janus. 1t led
from the Palatine to the Quirinal Hill, and was
closed only when Rome was at peace with the
world This occurred but four tmeS-Ind Numa,
Augustus Caesar and Vespatan, and after the first
Punic War. julius Caesar kept the gate open wild
er than ANYBODY just to satisfy himself that
other Roman had anything Oh him in this respect
he once drove twenty loads of hay thro the gate
abreast as against record ef fourteen loads. Gaze
sar was great JOKER and his f1vorltc pun was
made at this gate. Riding thro when the sun was
setting, he pointed at the sunset with one hand
and at the passing railroad construction crew with
the other, and exclaimed to his licutcnaDts, '%Be
hold the day gOes!'
Another year (mark we'll the rhyme)
Has Joined the Host of Father Time.
A few more solid banks will burst
To many trusting ones disgust.
The widow recently bcreft.
Will pop the question right and left
And luckless man, of Leap Year butt
viii scramble for the tall uncut.
''The sport in Congress will consist of battles
with the horney fist the gentleman Missouri bred
bite each others cheek, the frightened galIarics
will shrek, the speaker will get out gun, the man
from Arkansas will run, the sergeant will bolt thrO
door, the fight will spread upon the floor the
clerk will climb the chaplain's back and the air
will sound with bitf and whack the war depart
mcnt will get in the boat, and Fairbanks with
triumphant cry, and will black Ben TilImans
other eye: the President will get his hat, is boxing
gloves and trusty bat and will exclaim Oh coming
back, E'Al's quite on the Pc to macEI'
"After that wesha havcvcry pleasant weather
The moon will be full on the 18th. and persons Uc
never heard of will be mentioned for vice president
The Fish Hartman fight will go into the tenth
round, and Mr.. Fish will complain to The Hague
tribunal that Mr.. Harshan is using knucks.
General Funston, on guard at Goldfeld will ap
peal to Secretary AIitcaf to transfer him to Wash
ington where the fighting is going on Christmas
presents will exchange for some thing you want,
and Japan, hearing that the fleet is to keep right
on across the Pacific, will move on the m lin
land and dig cyclone cellars"
E'Persons born in January hive cold feet and
do not play poker If they arc born under the IL
fuence of Acquarius the water carrier they will
vote dry. They are very ingenius, and know how
to turn the gas meter back They good at
figures and can tell you whether woman's shape
is real Or excelsior. They are slow to marry, but
can get divorce as quick as anybody"
''Don't answer the door bell this month. It's
pile If you come home late at night, look out for
high waymen, and walk in the middle of the street.
as the policemen does. Don't write love letters
She will save them"
''The trusts will continue to show US where to
head in, and Congress will vote m >ney like it
was heirs The fashionable wintcring places for
the month will be Southern California and the
Floridl coast, and all trains b)uld to taos, points
will be loaded with pastcrcrs and brick layers,
with their families"
'And then the short lived month Of Feb.
when woman will complete her web, and foolish
man will buzz about until the spider daShes out
and nails him neatly to the mast for 50 long his
life shall last.0
But Notwithstanding Leap Years tricks
And maids and widows weed
And though our hard luck comes along
Just like string of beads
Cheer up, cheer up! It's not so bad
With us Us it's with Ted.
Who had to come to it and knock
His third term in the head.