The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-23
IT Men Ate The way They Drink.

If Men Ate The Way They Drink. Chicago Tribune.
 Scene. restaurant Time. D. m. Characters. two friends. George and Charley who have eaten heartily. and, with hunger entirely apeased. are hn- ishing their coffee.
 George-well. that was a good din- ner. I feel fine.
 Chariey-Here. too. Couldn't feel one more chicken apiece before we so home.
 George-creat Scott old man. I couldn't eat another if tried. On the dead. I'm, full clear up to the guards.
 Charley-O. just one more for old times sake. Come on. Don't be a Quitter.
 George-AlI right-only one. though I've got to be home early. fCharley-Hey, waiter, rush on a couple more of those chickens. Hurry 'em on, please.
 (The waiter brings the chickens)
 George--Happy days.
 Cbarley-How to you. (They eat the chickens.) :
 George-Now. let's have just one more. This is on me. Charley-Remember I've got to work | tomorrow.
 George-o. be @ sport. One more won't hurt you. Charley-o. very well. if you insist. Ceorge-Hey, waiter. same all around, and hurry, too. We're dying of hung (waiter soon appears with two more chickens. Friends toast one another and fall to.)
 George-weli. I've got to be ambling homeward-
 Charley-Hold on. Walt a minute. nvTo vrfu haTnra Un4 Hoxy waiter-two more chickens.
 George-Great Scott, I'll have de- lirium chickens if I keep on at this pace.
 You know me. The last was on you. This Is on me. see? Now, sit down. It's the mere shank of the evening.
 The two friends. somewhat gorgy, drop large quantities on the table cloth, but proceed with glazed eyes to eat their chickens. (Waiter brings two more chickens) George-Hey, waiter--Alphonse, Cas- ton, or whatever your name is-Just start a procession of those chickens on. Keep lem coming till I say when"
 Charley--o. say. guess not. This Is on me. You're moneys no good this round"
 George-Now. I guess I know what I'm doing all right all right. Haven't always been on the square? Haven't I
 Charley-Say. how does that old song go?
 George-which song7
 Charley-Aw, you know, that one Hey, walter. how fong must we wait for that last order?
 (Waiter politely points to the chick ems he has just placed before the
 chariey-wen why didn't you say so Here's happy days, George. (Drops chicken on floor and planes the waiter. Orders another chicken, which the waiter brings).
 George-weIl. look who's here. z Bill-Just had dinner boys. Couldn't stand another if tried. (Waiter hastily gets chair and Bill reluctantly sits down).
 Charley (to George)-Bilrs mad. ain't he? Too proud to eat with his old friends. very well.
 (Bnl laughs and says he'll take small chicken just to show there's no hard feeling. They eat these, and then Bill insists on doing the honors. After eating the second round Bill starts to go, but Is drawn violently back in" to his chair).
 don't think for a minute that I'm go- ing to let you go without buying you A small chicken, do you? Not in thousand years. Hey. waiter; three more out O the same coop. (The wait. CT brings them).
 Charley (rising solemly)-Say, Tel lers. I want to prose a toast. To my wife-she's on a vacation now. (Be- gins to cry). ,.--
 (They stand up and solemly eat her
 Biii orders three more chickens to do honor to a lady friend of his, and George also thinks Of some one he oue,ht to eat to. By that time it is 1.30 a m and they depart, singing, "we'r