The Washington herald., 1908-06-16
By SAMUEL C. BLYTHE.

chicago, June lo.-OnCe again mas the
Hon. Charles Warren Fairbanks ratified
the wires from indianapolis with the per-
fervid declaration he will never never
retake the nomination for Vice President.
and once again has the Hon. Jonathan
Prentiss Dolliver marched boldly 20 the
front shaking letter in his horny hands
which states he cannot be teased. coaxed.
or coerced into accepting second place on
the ticket with Taft. great as that honor
would be.
Other gentlemen. notably trusty jim
Sherman. OF New York. have neither
written nor telephoned to that effect, but
strange as II may seem. nobody seems TO
give a hoot whether they have or not.
Apparently. whenever time hangs heav-
ily on the hands OF the present esteemed
Vice President. he calls up Chicago and
tells somebody he will not have It in any
circumstances.
Likewise, when Jonathan p. Doliver
has nothing else TO occupy him. he eXudcs
another letter TO some member Of the Iowa
delegation expressing HIS unalterable pref
udlce 10 the place. Remarkable as IL may
appear. these telephone messages come
IN time for the afternoon editions OF the
newspapers regularly each day. and are
supplemented with others that can be
used in the morning papers.
Keeps Them I'm Public Eye.
This curious coincidence serves dou-
ble purpose. II not only mpresses on the
delegate the great truth that neither Of
these distinguished statesmen wants the
job, but II also serves 90 keep their
names before the public in order that
they may not be overlooked when the
Vice Presidential can is opened this
week. and the contents disclosed TO the
gentlemen who are TO exercise their
rights Of suffrage as legal representa-
tives Of q great party doing as they are
hidden.
If you should stand Mr. Fairbanks and
Mr.. Dolliver side by side and look them
over, you would discover one TO be a
/ tall and benign person with a little
bunch Of whiskers. an engaging smile.
and a small collection Of highly trained
( hair clambering across a bald and bur
nished dome Of thought
DOlliver would be found 10 be shorter.
but not much paunchier. a good deal.
with a ferocious black mustache and an
eagles Irresistible eye. Both would wear
/ frock coats and both would look as seri-
Gus as educated seals when about TO en-
gage in some Of their sports and pas
times on the stage.
Both Coy ns SOubrettes.
| No one would suspect these staid
statesmen Of coquetting with a nomina-
/ ton; no one would think they are SOU
brettlng, but they are. The coy Fair
banks and coyer Dolliver are flirting with
the situation, repelling advances with the
chilly word, but encouraging them with
the eager eye. What they are trying 10
do is to get the designation in such a
way they can say they could not with
stand the loud and imperious call Of the
party. Each Of them wants the place.
but neither thinks II is yet the right time
/ 10 say so.
Each Of them hopes the you're It. of
/ the Presidential eeny- y-meeney-miny-no
will come TO him. but each thinks il is
more dignihed and more impressive 70
wait for the call instead of getting out
/ and doing the calling himself The Presi-
/ dent is showing a mastery reserve. He
/ is keeping his hands off until he thinks
/ the right time 10 put them on That Is.
he knows the crowds in Chicago must
/ have something TO talk about. and he has
! generously allowed the Vice Presidential
! selection to remain open for a few days.
! You would think, 10 hear the heated
discussion Of the available timber for
! second place, the delegates really had
/ something to do with the selection.
| Every time Fairbanks telephone mes
sage comes in or a Dolllver letter shows
up, there is hoarse cry from groups of
patriots who want 10 justify TO them
selves the money they have spent to get
on the ground,
Like Josh Billings Dog.
1t all gives the delegates and the specta-
! tors something to do, and It doesn't hurt
any on the Josh Billings theory chat a
reasonable number of fleas are good for
the dog. inasmuch as they keep him from
remembering he is a dog 1t might raise
a moody resentment if the delegates had
nothing else to do than sit around and re-
member they are here in the highly auto
matte capacity of rubber stamps. each
stamp bearing those awe-insplring letters
20. X. T. r."
The minor Vice Presidential booms
hourished. toe. Most Of the press agents
found their way to printing Offices and
had signs printed Headquarters direc-
tions burgeoned on every near-marblC
pillar. John Hays Hammond, who, later
reports show, has not the entire Alaska
delegation, but will have half OF it-one
vote-set a mark early in the day that
made the other candidates for the place
sit up and take notice. He began giving
away Accent cigars. AS soon as news OF
this reached the lobby Of the Annex the
rush to the Hammond headquarters look
/ ed like the Carlisle Indians going through
theological seminary eleven on frosty
November day.
Notice was instantly served on Mr.
Hammond by the other candidates that
he was violating the rules OF the Vice
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