Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-10

/
I'm wan O. thim.-Life.
Church-Did thar detective you en-
gagged discover anything? Gotham
Yes; that had norey.-Yonkers
| Statesman.
"He said l had face like one of
Raphael's angels" "Oh, well. the faces
of Raphaers angels were painted, you
know" -Tit-Bits
Willie-Pa. did you know ma long
before you were married? His Father
My son, don't know her yet.-Wom-
ans Home Companion.
He-The boys say I'm getting to be
regular bear She--Indeed? It-Say.
Sis. ask him whether he growls or hugs.
-Woman's Home Companion.
every year the Higgs have Mrs.
Jones up to their country home for
long visit" Fond of her. are they?'
IN -of-him. "-Harper's Bazaar.
Heard a fellow mention me to-day
in connection with the presidency"
NO" Fact. Said no dub of my type
would do."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
Young Lady (entering tobacconst's)
Il want to look at some cigars. please.
Suitable for a tall young man with
brown hair Ally Sloper's Half-Hoii-
| day.
Bill-Do you find 1t hard tc dodge
that bill collector now? Jill--Sure;
harder than ever. lie goes about in an
automobile, you know.-Yonkers States
man.
! Dycut Funkcr-Rut do not think
deserve an absolute zero. Professor
Neither do l, but that is the lowest
mark / am allowed to give.-IIarvard
Lampoon.
Doc" said the man who was trying
to get free prescription, whats the
best thing for cold?" Competent
medical advice, my friend. "-Louisville
Courier-Journal
Wigg-What errors these novelists
make. Here the author of this book
speaks of his heroine as being I'M
manned. Wagg-Maybe she was di-
vorced.-Philadelph Record.
Constable-Come along; you've got TO
have bath. Tramp-A bath! What.
with water? Constable-Yes. of course.
Tramp-Couldn't you manage 1t with
one o them vacuum cleaners? New
York Globe.
You should never take anything that
doesn't agree with YOU, the physician
told Mr.. Marks. III had always fo,-
lowed that rule Maria," he remarked
to his wife where would you be?"-
Boston Traveller
Benevolent Lady-But, my poor man.
il you have been looking for work all
these years, why Is it that you have
never found it? Tramp confidential
| WITS luck, mun-just sheer good
luck-Doston Globe
You never change your mind about
anything, do your" "What's the uSe?"
rejoined the egotisr Il found years
ago that l was just as liable to be
wrong the second time as was the
first "-Washington Star.
Muriel-When you eloped with
George, did you leave a note telling your
people where you had gone? Gabrielle
Why, of course. If l hadn't. how
would papa have known where to send
us any money ILLUSTRATE Bits
Mrs. Subbs-If you'll shovel the snow
eff all the walks I'll give you something
10 eat and some money besides The
Hobo CATER a survey of the prcmiseS)
Dat looks good ter me, lady; but
where am ter sleep nights?-Puck.
"iIow did your husband get ont Of
the building after he had located the
gas leak?" asked the reporter. "As
nearI, as he could remember it after
ward" said the woman. "he went out
through the roof Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Subbubs-Do YOU expect any Wis
tors tonight, My dear? Mrs Subbubs
We'll, considering that Bridgets 60
ing to leave, Willie's got the measles,
the cellar is flooded, and the grocer
hasn't called for two days-yes, | do
Ally Sloper's HalfiIoliqay.
.'Some of the greatest classical COM
posers did not make any money" said
the guest at the musical. Yes" an
swered Mr.. Cumrox, that thought is
about the only thing that gives me any
comfort when l listen to the things they
made up."-Washington Star.
Critic-Now that your play is to be
actually produced, you can surely give
me some idea as 70 the plot and gen
eral action. Playwright-It's still too
indefinite. You see, the call boy and
the man on the stage door haven't told
me yet what they want done to it,
Puck.
Anna, dear, IL should attempt 10
spell Cupid why should ! not get be'
yond the first syllable?' AnUa gave it
up. whereupon William said: Because
when | come to C. W. of course l can
not 20 farther" Anna said she thought
that was the incest conundrum she had
ever heard.
You're wasting your time and nine
said the busy merchant, impatiently.
II should think you'd see that" Why
sou demanded the insurance man. II
told YOU some time ago that | was in
sured TO the limit" Il know you did,
but a man will say most anything TO
Get rid of an insurance agent.
delphia Press
Cigarettes as Wedding Fee.
As one of Manila's leading young
men was DOMINIC his evening suit pre-
paratory to keeping a social engage