Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-04-01
GANOERD0NE'S APRIL FORECAST.
(corYRIeurED 1908 BY c. II. RrEru.)

The April rains will put bit
OF Irish in the lawn,
And new and brighter augury
Will paint the east at dawn.
The songs OF birds will fill the day,
Aud the night be full of frogs,
And every time cloud blows MP
1t will rain cats aud dogs,
And water nevis, and other brutes,
And also pollywogs.
The brown thrush will return to
sing its song at even hush, aud th @
kind-eyed COW will moult and rear
new and redder plush; the young
mans thoughts will love to dwell
upon his lady love, while he is not
the one at all that she is voting it.
The railroads, meanwhile, will retriye
Their spirits and elate
Upon the Knockout blow the courts
Have dealt the 2-cent rate.
They'll all rebait their hooks again,
And drop them in the pool,
And when L. r. gets after them.
They'll all cry April fool ~
And then there will be doing in
The presidential race, for every.
body in it will accelerate the pace.
The hoofs Of Mr.. Johnson will nut
up cloud of dirt, and MIR. Bryan
Will put on a most terrific squirt.
The presidential bee which has been
up in Bill Taft's hat will be remov.
ed by Roosevelt from that high hsb
itat; and when 1t seems the field be-
hind imperils Teddy's bets, the bee
will be slipped in the seat of Will
liam's trouserettes.
Whereat the very earth will rock,
And tod and bits Of loan
VIII obfuscate the sky each time
The sting is driven home
And while to all the others once
They pass the grandstand twice,
Bills H. and b. will blandly ask,
"Whom shall we run for vice?"
April was named for Venus, the
Roman goddess of spring. She was
the mother of Aeness, and attended
the first Mothers Congress with
that young man In her arms. She
was at different times the wife of
Vulcan, Mars, Mercury, Adonis
and Anchises, and held the matri-
monial record until Lillian Russell.
The planet Venus was named for
her, as was the city Of Venice. Sho
Is also the heroine of "Tbree
weeks"
he base ball player will resume
With letters on his suit,
And the fan will sit out in the sun
And violently root.
his supper will grow cold and stale
His wife will swear bit,
And the cook will make chalk mark on
The kitchen door and quit.
Straw hat season will come in and
the oyster will go out; the last few
flocks of buckwheat cakes will sort
OF hang about; the spring election
will reflect red fire against the sky, !
another good sh are of the earth will
suddenly go dry, and the Congress
will debate upon relief laws for the
losers, and lay a reservation out for
our unhappy boozers.
The program for All Fools Day
will be more elaborate than usual.
Mr.. Roosevelt will give dinner at
the White House TO those who think
he isn't going to run again. Mr..
Rockefeller will give a banquet at
Cleveland to those " no think he is
going to pay that $2o, 900, 600 fine.
Senator Elkins will give a barn
dance on his country place to those
who think they have any no.
tion of letting the Duke of the
Abruzzi get away. Mr.. Hartman
will give pink tea at the Waldorf
Astoria TO all persons who think he
Is licked. Mr.. Bryan will give a |
huge lawn party at his home near
Lincoln to all persons thinking he
Is going to step aside for Mr. John
son.
The milliners will meanwhile show