davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
Telling Character by lour,,..

You can tell peoples character by
gy man laugh? There are two kinds
OF stingy man laughs. One is the
fauerulous squeak of the miser; the
other, the hard, unsympathetic and un.
wiling noise, without wrinkles OF the
u; self-made coin-squeezer
me generous mans laugh is the
In,ealthy roar, rising from a chuckie
ina comes right up out of good
iheaithy intellect. He's the fellow who
isn't afraid Of disturbing the meet.
ing m g. Then there's the litter Of the
harmless youth whose fingers are Vel
low. indicating no special claim on
greatness; the gigele of the gushtne
siriie who signs at the problem PLAY
matinees: the indulgent chuckle of the
motherly matron who tells the family
AZ about the show at the supper tn HE
the st1ccato laugh, coupled with q
l!iiait-irown. that belongs to the neuro.
NC the wheeling demonstration Of the
a as gentleman who has to &c
!" the mountains in hay-fever tina
t1e calculating laugh of the landlaiy
anai sounds as though she had iusi
made some one take more prunes. Oh
every laugh has its distinct Character
can tell from the first round issi
What Kind OF people are in the house
and very nearly how many OF each
ss.-Leslies Weekly.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
Rhymes for To-Day
rrs11.nr,EAars.


y pretty brisk along the
streams,
In tho deep pools where the
weeping willows slant,
But there's little use Iii wishin that
might go out a-fishin'.
For the muse is here to tell inc that
can't.
IN my mind see them leaping seven
fatllom In the air.
Aye they sport as though they
wanted to be caught!
1 can hear the swift reel clinlking ~
I muse here duly thinking
But have to take that music out In
thought
In my dreams I'm standing eager On
cool and shady bank,
With bunch of specified beauties
Il. In my creel.
Or I've hooked a game threepounder
and, and I'm fighting with the
But needn't say that vision lie not
real.
No, my piscatory outlook is dark
blue.-and that Is hard,
For live inside an minded
Where man can go a-fition with no
thought of prohibition,
And Is free to take along his flask
OF bait. H. S. n
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
ADcad n, Chelscn.n

Naturally enough the connagration
in a suburban city of the metropolitan
district of Boston has called forth
a frequent repetition of the old time
expression, Dead as Chelsea" Perhaps
1t may be we'll to remind even New
England people that the original ex-
preston lad nothing to do with the
city near Boston harbor.
In the old times, Chelsea in Eng
land, as any one who shall have read
any part of Pepys' "Diary,"%would know,
was four and a half miles below Lon
don, and was of great Importance to
the defense Of the metropolis. With
the changes that came with time,
from the day when Won Tromp con-
trolled the English Channel, with a
broom at his masthead as a signal OF
the triumph of the Dutch over the
English navy of the time, the Chelsea
of THAT day. has decreased in Import
ance to the site of a naval hospital
and a marine museum.
The Chelsea of England Is dead
in the sense that it has any special
naval or military Importance In the
defense of the Britlsh> Isles The ex-
preston, Dead as Chelsea" is thus
easily explained, 1t relates simply
to a military and geographical change
In the defense of the metropolis OF
Great Observation-Disclosures Union.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
Police of tho Ar


Differing widely as they do In struc.
ture and habits, birds collectiveIv are
air and water. The thrushes and othe !.
ground feeders scour the surface ~
the earth and hunt under leaves for
hidden insects. The warblers. titmice.
nuthatches, creepers and others search
among the foliage and in the creyicos
o. park for all manner of creeping
thlngs, The woodpeckers, a highly
specialized group, perform service no
other birds are equal to, since with
1heir specially. designed chisels they
den larvae that prey on our forest
lnonarchs: The flycatchers from their
perches dash out for their prey as It
flies from bush to bush or tree IL
tree. while the swallows and swifts
skim the air and with intricate evolu-
ions snap up such insects as have
escaped the active search of their
brethren nearer earth. The waters.
too, and their shores have their Gather.
ed deniZens which exact special tribute
OF the insect world. M
SO that. quite aside from questions
OF sentiment. birds must be adjudgea
to play an active and important part
IN Keeping natures balance true,
tional Geographic Magazine. Their
role Is all the more important, since
no other. creatures are fitted Tor their
special duties. Moreover, II we may
judge the future by the past, the SER
vices of birds must become increasing-
~ valuable as time goes on. Agricul-
ture. always important in the United
States, is constantly assuming creator
Observation-Disclosures Journal.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
Personal AND GENERAL.

In London there is one clergyman to
every 1000 persons.
New York City is now spending on cduca.
ton S120,S73 each school day.
Government experts are investigating sea-
weed with the object OF determining its
economic value.
Trained falcons to carry dispatches in
time otAwar have been tested in the Rus
sian army. Their speed Is four times as
rapid us that of carrier pigeons.
Red glass hastens vegetation, while blue
glass suppresses 1t. Sensitive plants, iA.
me mimosa, grow fifteen times higher UNI
der red glass than under blue,
), The volume of freight sent by water from
New fork can better be realized when one
considers the fact that 1850 tons are loaded
on ships every hour. -
The production OF oleomargarine in the
yonr ehaed June me sosh last rose 6s,9ss,s5o
an income Of S6s764l from its tax on thc
article 80 ~ .'''
tame rattlesnake belonging to an
froat "a. farmer sleeps every night on the
sell around the gate and gatepost so that
rot needed. -, $3.50 80 =
ran t ny SO minute t. be almost Invisible
G "a AZ, 10 make no less than $40 stems
y, N, me Tin TINE man could breathe once i
,Mam WIN proportionate agility could run
t"ehty-four miles In a minute
| Williams College claims the oldest ,,v,n.
graduates OF any college in the United
class o. 1881. Mr.. Rankin is now ninetvs
e Hal years Old. and resides with his SON,
ftot' W. NJ. Rankin, of Princeton University.
:, an An e q Nay who is haun,er of restau
rants IN New York City. says that fer q
winters experience he has not been ah,s
ma genuine buckwheat cake in ono
81 men, n ana nc doesn't believe that such
= % - 20 FOUND IN the metropolis. =
| Down In Texas an enternr,sins ~,
melon grower has invented a machine 70
s seS,1n inc melons, and now melon seeds are
S rndss as low as 10 cents pound Hun.
L'pseombe county each year for the speclac
| not being used. 80 W. '''etoA ''se!'
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
like a D1s1.,,sslnn

AN 1rishman who served on honr1
. man-ot,War was selected BY one
OF the officers to haul in towline
OF considerable length that was towing
over the taffrail. After pulling in
h t9s'y or hfty fatl1oms, which had put
as every muscle Of his arms he NUT
tered to himself: Surely. it's as long
as to-day and tomorrow. it's a good
weeks work for any Ave in the Ship.
Bad luck TO the leg or the arm It'll
leave at last. What. more OF it yet?
Och. murder! The says mighty deep
to be surc" After continuing in a
similar strain and concelving there was
little probability Of the completion o,
his labor, he suddenly stopped short
watch. exclaimed: bad manners to
me- sir. IL i don't think somebody's
cut OFT the other end Of it'"-Pathfnd'
-ec,. I.saLrN ~. .--tl.N = 49,. ~ .n
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
TUESDAY, APRIL IS, 1905.
ENEMIES OF THE PRIMARY.

y Enemies OF the primary apparently
hwill not rest until that method of cleo
ton is abolished. The last demonstra-
ton against the primary came from the
democrats of Nansemond county, who
declared that that system 'perpetu-
nted fraud and chicanery," caused
tparty rancor," "riveted the chains of
1.-The office-holders' trust" "engendered
lfeuds, and would dlsmember the Demo
4 cratic party: wherefore the mass
meeting Instructed its delegates to
Roanoke to vote against the primary.
Are the enemies OF the primary enemies
of the Democratic party as we'll? For
tassuredly If the Democrats at Roanoke
ldestroy the primary and indorse the
appointment and confirmation Of Judge
/ Rhea, two weapons Of immeasurable
force will be forged and given the dis
satisfied. If the primary has per-
petuated fraud, and chicanery," whose
/ fault Is 1t but those. so.called Demo-
4 Gratis who have deliberately perpetrated
fraud and practiced chicanery on each
other?
4 If the primary has caused party
trancor" and "engendered feuds"; II 1t
| now threatens to "dismember the
1 party" how will the rancor be re-
moved or the feudists pacified or the
sentangling influences checked by leav-
/ ing all those old sores unhealed. those
political enemies implicated and those
/ destructive forces Of conscious fraud
unfettered? The breach that the Demo
Gratis of Nansemond deplore is wide
I. enough to be apparent to all. but 1t
/ will never be healed by returning to
ward and precinct meetings.
For the good name of the state, We
. hope those antiquated but agile adju-
wants of ring rule and gross corruption
will never be re-established. and they
will not be without struggle and outcry
!. If Democracy is to endure-much
!. moro, If it is to maintain its early
4 virility and power--it must be through
/ honestly recording and faithfully per-
forming the popular will.
If the primary is faulty, remove
faults and strengthen advantages;
stbut under no preteXt or consideration
tlct us go back under that cloud OF
Rejection frauds and copperriyeted boss
iiism which fourishes more luxuriantly
4 in precinct politics than any other soil
yet discovered.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
Cheap Eating,

Owing to the abundance and cheap
ness OF meat in Australia, restaurant
keepers have for years been able to
give astonishlngly liberalmea for ~
the. margin OF profit and they have
decided in conference ito raise the
price to "A cents. One OF the reasons
assigned for this step Is the 'ahnor-
is the hosptable custom in Australian
popular restaurants not to charge for
q second helping Of anything, and you
can have as many cups OF tea RS you
one. 1T is the freedom with which
this priyilege--unknown In America
is exercised that outs down the profits
milwaukee Journal.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
coNGEStr1bN.1N CITIES.

3 Recognizing that many of the prob
1ems of poverty, crime and sickness
Ewith which the charitable agencies
Improper housing conditions. a COM
mittee composed of members of various
bphilanthropic and social betterment So
scietfes in New York have organized an
exhibit of congestion OF population.
This exhibit has taken up several i'm
hportant aspects of the problem under
! four heads-congestion Of population,
conditions of congestion, alleviation OF
scongestion and prevention of conges-
ltion.
4 For over year the committee itself
I and various agencies in New York
have been engaged in the collection
of data. The fruits of these invests
sfgations We're presented by maps, charts,
fmodels. photographs and other illus
.ttrative material during a period OF
three weeks in the American Museum
of Natural History in Manhattan, where
1.-THE exhibit was visited by about $4,000
}people. Governor Hughes, who opened
fthe exhibit, called it "the most instruc-
tive commentary upon conditions In the
i city of New York that have ever
tseen."
II The exhibit was then removed to
Z, Brooklyn for a period Of two weeks,
closing about week ago, where it was
il also largely attended. Now sections OF
tit Will be brought here by the National
Il Conference of Charities and Correc-
tions. to be exhibited at the time OF
sthe conference in this city, May 9Th
II to 18th. The Virginia Mechanics In
4 stitute has kindly given the use of its
hall for the exhibit.
81 In addition to the data showing con-
1ditions in New York. which VIII occupy
tonly small part OF the exhibit, pho
itographs showing housing conditions
hin several important cities will be
tshown. indicating the universal neec
spf far-reaching system Of town
iplanniag not yet conceived by many
,sEAmerican cities. philosophical citi
iEens OF Richmond are preparing Il
Sehow conditions of congestion in Rich
.smond, and as the outcome some of tn,
Nest methods OF dealing with the con
4, gestion OF population abroad vii! b,
= indicated. and methods Of town-plan
ming successfully In vogue in Germar
Land other continental cities.
i Richmond IS oyercrowded In variou
ERa!ghbashaadS and not suruc!ently pro
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
Enslishmen In Canada

It is not true, as reported that all
We try to like them all, Apart from
the Socialist, a hopeless exotic in this
climate, the only type of Englishman
who Is disliked on principle Is the
broken down dandy. He cannot dig or
do anything else, but is not ashamed to
borrow on the strength of his connec-
tons, Wherever he goes the English
man OF the right sort holds his own
and more Winnipeg Correspond OF
tile Manchester Guardian. Vs.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
PI|.I.E
CURE
T RE- E
Trial Package of Wonderful Pyrnmis
Cure Sent to All Who Send
Name nnd Address.


Name ana Address.
There are hundreds Of cases OF piles
which have lasted for twenty and
thirty years and have been cured IN
few days or weeks with the marvellous
Pyramid Pile Cure.
Piles sufferers In the past have looked
upon an operation as tile only relief.
But operations rarely cure, and often
lead to fearful results.
The Pyramid Pile Cure cures. 1t re-
lieves the swelling, stops the conges--
ton. heals the ulcers and assures and
the piles disappear There is no form
Of piles which this remedy is not made
The pyramid Pile Cure can be used
at home. There Is no loss Of time or
detention from business. There is no
case OF piles so severe that the Pyra-
mid Pile Cure will not bring relief,
We make no charge for trial pack
age OF Pyramid Pile Cure. This SAM
Pile will relieve the itching, soothe the
innamed membrane, and start you on
used the sample go to the druggist for
a so cent box Of the remedy, Write
to-day, The sample costs you nothlng.
Marshall, Mich.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

vidod With breathing spaces. such ~,
exhibit az this, therefore, should w ol
great interest to all citizens, and
should give fresh strength to the hands
OF those who are laborins for better
conditions.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

The Western man who dislocated his
neck while endeavoring to kiss Seat
tie girl under Merry Widow hat Is
receiving the condolences OF the press.
That sentiment may be requisite for
Seattle, but here in Royal Richmond
the man who would not gladly break his
neck for the privilege of saluting one
Of the little star-eyed blondes would
be deemed cheap sport indeed.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

On the authority of Policeman Tom
Carroll, wo inform esteemed contein-
poraries that frog of our Capitol
Square flock recently caught and de-
voured live English sparrow. The
frogs of Royal Richmond are of superb
size and strength, owing to the fact
that they do all the croaking that Is
ever INDUCED in in our peerless city.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
She liked Tint Rest.

y suppose you did all the theatres
anu amusement places on your trip to
London, Mrs. Comeup?"
Yes. but at most of the shows they
talked so much and didn't know what
1t was all about"
(which did you like the best?"
"Oh, the Christmas pandemonium--it
vas y as sc, 70 alec and Quiet"--Baltimore
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

Great rivalry now exists among Pitts
burg's smart set SO the dispatches say,
in the matter of purchasing rare and
valuable books. The first thing we
know the country Is going to be as
founded by the news that some adj
vsnced Pittsburger has bought copy
OF the Holy Bible.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

The five men whom the President
has invited to meet the conference Of
Governors at the White House next
month-Cleveland, Bryan, Mitchell,
Carnegie and Hill e. j., not Dave)-
are believed by the correspondents to
he Mr.. Roosevelt's choice for the Ave
greatest men in the country, and they
are all Democrats. Why doesn't Mr..
Roosevelt now come across and make
II SiX2 - u
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

A straw vote taken by the editor OF
Success shows that, out of some 10000
men voting 5,46O give their first choice
to Roosevelt and only lilo to Taft
Small wonder that Mr.. Taft is In no
hurry about unlocking his grip on the
$4,000 secretaryship.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

John Hays Hammonds new contract
with the Guggenheims calls for sal-
airy of 100000 a year. Mr.. Hammond
Will find William Loeb's eye on him. ec
he don't watch out,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

conditions.
=--.-....=.:=.--...-
THE CATHOLIC CENTENARY IN NEW
I. YORK.
On April "a, 1908, WAS consecrated
in Rome Richard Luke Couaneen, f,rst
Bishop Of the Catholic Diocese Of New
York. on Friday last was appropriate
ly celebrated IN New York the CEN
tenary Of that diocese. The century
lying between those two dates marks
an extraordinary expansion In Cathol.
icism such as religious history can
hardly parallel
In 1908 the number of Catholics in
the United States Is estimated at above
l5,0oo,o0o. In the light OF this, the
predictions Of 1905 that the Catholic
Church was possibly facing extinction,
and was certainly incapable of trans
Atlantic colonizing, appear singularly
infclicitous. But the early days OF
that faith in this country were. ut any
rate. beset with difficulties. Prior to
the Revolution priests were banished
|
offense to give shelter to one.
BY a law prevailing at that time,
"Papists" were denied the suffrage.
But the Revolution accomplished a
great change OF sentiment, for the
Catholics in America fought side by
side with their Protestant fellows, and
| 1t was a Catholic country in Europe
which helped the Continental Army to
victory. So we find Catholic church
dedicated in New York City in 1885,
and the see Of New York established by
Pope Plus VII. twenty-five years later.
BY 1925, when Bishop Dubois took pos
session of It, the strength Of the do
cese was estimated at some 10000
Catholics.
The diocese, as we'll as the church
generally in America, was now on a
most substantial foundation. but under
the great John Hughes, who was con-
early work centred about the fight to
prohibit public appropriation for Cath
Ollie schools, 1t developed with marked
rapidly. In 1916, there were more
than 100000 members Of the church In
New York City, and the diocese con-
tained ia churches. 100 priests. col
lege and theological school Two
years before the great growth Of tho
diocese had necessitated the appoint
ment OF a bishop coadjutor, and five
IL +o. -
episcopal see, the fourth In America.
| Between 1866 and 1895 the number OF
Catholic dloceses In the country jumped
from thirty eight to seventy three.
Hughes died In 1864. but the work OF
! his church has been energetically car
ried on by Rt. Revs. McCloskey Gamer
icas first cardinaD, Corrigan and Far
ley.
Unquestionably the Catholic Church
has played a conspicuous part in the
upbuilding of this country and in the
present conservation of its ideals and
traditions. It has kept religion vital
principle in the education Of Its chill.
dren and in the daily life of Its men
and women. Against the social Attic
ton of divorce 1t has taken and held
a firmer stand than any other sect The
creeds OF socialism and similar symp-
toms of political discomfort have found
no welcome In its bosom. Vigorous and
rcsolute, 1t has earned Its own success,
and the hundred-year-old diocese IN
New York Is entitled to the tributes
that belong to good work we'll done.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

"Who owns the water?" demands thu
Chicago Tribune We have always un,
derstood that the stockholders owr
most OF II.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

Tidines reach us that Fred p. Earle.
the affinity king, will soon begin Ices
turing on "My Ideas Of Matrimony."
We suppose that Freds ideas on this
subject are much the same as Punch's.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

We infer that William Waldorf Asto,
doesn't think much of the United States
which appears to strike the reciprocity
note all right.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

The funeral OF the late Duo dc
Chaulnes does not get the headlines
which his marriage did.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28
Want Better Reason.

The Times Herald waited patiently for
statement from Governor Swanson explain
ne rG upon what grounds he pardoned William,
- Boyle. who was serving n llfe.time sen ;
.ence from this city for murder. The Cover
Hor . statement was published In our news
columns yesterday, but it was by no means
ga 81. a!tstactory to the law abiding citizens Of
Herald.
Nj. Bryan's Courage.
william ]. Bryan has. more than any other
enndidate for the presidency In a generation
e unwaavering courage of his convictions-
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

II is generally believed that the late
father OF baseball" was proud OF ali
his family but the umpires.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

That operation on the lance.head
vlper may suggest new epithet Of
opprobrium to the Hearst syndicate.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

We suspect that Lecturer r. p. Hob
son could play to standlng-room /
Los Angeles this week,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

Possibly the greatest centralizing Influence
IN this country Is the desire of the other
forty-ave States to become part OF Texas,
Houston Post. 1
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

The people OF Cleveland, O., are COM
piaining because In his opposition to the
Burton did not consider the Commercial
advantage" TO Cleveland. However. tho
Clevelanders must admit that Mr.. Burton
Herald-Courier.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-04-28

A Cincinnati judge has ruled that it is a
husbands duty to take his wife to ba II
genes If she wants to go. Perhaps the
Judge never took woman to bali game
ana tried to answer her questions where
other people could hear hlm.-chicago Rec
old- Herald