The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-05-27

JOo w uuCu. i never can De IUauh.
full enough that she found such a good
husband. Sammy. | noticed a bottle
OF ciaret on the sidehoard. You might
step down and take a nip"
But the last time you were here
you called me an old bum because I
took a nip"
THAT was just :in old woman's way,
you know. Bum: Why, l should like
to hear any one refer to you as a bum
in my ~presence"
Mr.. Bowser felt weak and wabbly,
and he ven down and took a nip-two
of EN-. When he returned the mother
in-law reached for his hand and said:
"Yes. Sammy; l got to thinking on
New Years day what q good man you
were, and l found myself feeling sorry
that l had ever said anything to hurt
your feelings. came this time to beg
your pardon and promise to be a DIFF
ferent mother-in-law hereafter. Can
you overlook the past, Sammy"
do you mean that you didn't come
down here to bulldoze and blow
aroundY" he asked.
"Why, Sammy. how could l think Of
such a thing?"
"Once. when I bought q pig, you said
I didn't know as much as a boy ten
years old"
'Then l must have been crazy. I'd
take another nip Of that claret II I
were you."
Mr.. Bowser went down and took an
other nip-two of 'em.
II may have said NEAR things, Sam
my. but l never meant them" said the
mother-in-law as he returned. Il have
made up my mind to begin this year
right"
Il bought some chickens, and you
said l hadn't the brains of a grass
hopper"
us 1t possibleY"
II wanted to clean house ono as you
came here, and you picked up the
butcher knife and ordered me u
You said you would as soon murder me
as not"
"Upon my word. but l must have
been crazyw
"And once you told Sarah right be-
fore me that If you had to live with
such a husband as l am you'd pour hot
lead into his ears while he slept"
"Then l ought to have been sent to
an asylum. Say, Sammy, there's, a
bottle Of claret on the sideboard."
Mr.. Bowser went down and saw that
she was correct, and he took a nip
two of 'em.
Begged His Forgiveness.
"Sit right here. and Wen hold hands
and talk" said the mother-in-law as
he came back in a melting mood. Il
want you to forgive me II I've ever
hurt your feelings"
II WILL"
II want you to know that l think
you are the best man on earth"
"Thanks."
"And want you to think me the
best woman"
II do"
Never again, Sammy, will l call
you 4 bum. Never again will I draw
an az on you. Never again will l
threaten you with the butcher knife
or say that you haven't the brains of a
grasshopper. want love and peace
and harmony between US. l want the
= whole world to know how proud OF
you l am. Sammy. let us sing:
< For he's a jolly good fellow
:, For he's a jolly good fellow
Mr.. Bowser went down for another
! nip-two Of 'em-from the bottle, but
found it empty. He therefore put OF,
q his hat and overcoat to renew the sup
ply. He saw two mothers-in-law and
. went out Of two doors. There were
two gates, and he hadn't proceeded a
hundred feet when he leaned up
against two fences to think it over
Pretty 0 what seemed like two po-
a licemen came along, and both Of them
said to him:
"Well, old cock, what are you doing
here?"
my names Bowsher."
"Well?"
y "Muzzer-law has come down to shee
me-"
= "Yes?"
a "And shay, she's 'er best old gal in
q all This world. She begs my pardon
/. I beg hers, and
"she's a JOLLY cool f-e-l-l-o-w-
She's a Jolly good f-e-l-l-o-w-
: She's q jol-
"Shay, officer. put me in my lizzie
bed and tell everybody That l died OF
too much happiness" NJ. QUAD.
x Sign Of Precoeity.
% First Magazine Editor-I believe my
" youngster is cut out for an editor.
Second Editor-Why so?
;: First Editor-Everything he gets his
II hands on he runs and throws into the
Observation-Disclosures Magazine
u Done Brown.
5. Scott-So Brown has been bunkoed
In 4 mine deal. Too bad. I rather like
! Brown.
Motives; he's u hole sold fellow
y Boston Transcript.
y, Thanks Very Much.