The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-06-07
By EWELL 70 RID
Copyrighted by the Associated Sunday Magazines Incorporated

neck III lt0ubtFs he WAS Ddthta W.
against the center pole, and in front of
him was the whole actorette push. all
jawin' at once, and raisin' seven differ
ent kinds of TuctiOns
Excuse me for buttin' in" says ];
but / thought maybe this might be
happy family"
1T ought TO be, but it amt" says
LeOnidas. Just listen TO EN-"
And, say, what kind of bats do you
think had got into their belfries? Seems
they'd heard about the tWO-dOllar-a-
head ticket and the swell crowd that
was comm TO the matinee. That. and
bein' waited on by a butler at dinner
the night before, had gone TO the va
cant spot where their brains ought 10
! be. They were tellin' Leonidas that if
they were goin' TO play to Broadway
/ prices they were gOin' 10 give Broad
way acts.
/ Mile Peroxide allowed that she
would cut out the rag time and put in
/ a few choice selections from grand
opera. Montana Kate hears that, and
| sheds the buckskin leggins No rifle
shOOtin' for her; not much! She had
/ Ophelia's lines down pat, and she
meant TO give 'em or die i'm the at
/ tempt. The black-face banjOist says
/ he can impersonate Sir Henry Irving
TO the life; and the juggler guy wants
/ to show 'em how he can eat up the
! TOreadOr song.
/ These folks want sOmethin' high
| toned" says Mile Peroxide, and this
/ is the chance of a lifetime for me 10
] fill the bill I'd been dOin' grand opera
/ long ago if il hadn't been for the
trust"
/ They told me at the dramatic school
! in Dubuque that 1 ought TO stick 10
| Shakespeare" says Montana Kate.
! and here's where 1 get my hooks in"
You talk TO EN-. Shorty" says Lee
| onidas; I'm hoarse."
/ mot me-" says /. II did think
you was a real gent. but I've changed
my mind, MR. Dodge. Anyone who'll
| tie the can to high-class talent the way
/ you're tryin' to do is nOthin' less'n
! field in human form"
There, now!" says the blOndine
/ Leonidas chucks the sponge. You
! win" says he. IN let you all take a
stab at anything you please. even if il
comes to reCitin' 'Ostler joe but I'll
/ be blanked if / shut down on sellin'
/ Sagawa"
Two minutes later they We're tuFnin'
trunks upside down digEin out cos
tunes to fit. As soon as they began To-
rehearse. LeOnidas goes outside and
sits down behind the tent holdin his
face in his hands, like he had the tooth
ache
1T makes me ashamed of my kind
says he. Why, they're rocky enough
for a third-rate wagon show, and 1
supposed they knew it; but III be
hanged if every last one of 'em don't
think they've got Mansfield OF Julia
MarloWe tied IN a knot Shorty. its
human nature glimpses like this that
makes bein' an optimist hard work
They're a bughouse bunch; all ac-
tors are" says l. You can't change
EN-, though
Il wish I wasn't responsible for this
lot says he.
He was feelin' worse than even when
the matinee opens. 1t had stopped
rain early i'm the mOrnin', and all the
cottagers for miles around had come
over 10 see what new dOins PinClney
had Matched up. There was almost
capacity house when Leonidas steps
out on the stage TO announce the first
; turn / knew he had more green
| money i'm his clothes that minute than
| he'd handled in a month before, but he
| acted as sheepish as if he was gOin' to
strike 'em for a loan.
| Il wish TO call the attention of the
| audience" says he. Ito few changes
| of program. Mile. Peroxide, who is
| billed TO sing coon songs, viii render
! by her own request the jewel song
| from Faust and two solos from Lucia
Oh LammermOOr.
And. say, she did it, Anyways, them
: was what she aimed at. For awhile the
: crowd held its breath, tryin' 10 believe
il was only a freight engine whistlin'
T. / for brakes, or sOmethin' like that Then
- they began to grin. Next some one
touched off a giggle, and after that
d., they roared until they were wipin'
: away the tears.
: Leonidas don't look quite so glum
+ when he comes out to present the re-
4 formed bantoist as Sir Henry Irving.
n He'd got his cue, all right, and he
\ hands out a game Of talk about delayed
genius comm to the front that tickled
n the folks clear through. The guy never
: seemed to drop that ne was bein'
h handed the lemon, and he done his
4 worst.
g thought they'd used up all the
/ laughs they had in 'em, but Montana
, Kate as Ophelia set 'em wild again.
= Maybe you've seen amateurs that was
4 funny. but YOU never see anything 10
best that combination. Amateurs are
q afraid to let themselves loose, but not
= that bunch They were so sure Of beln'
j the best that ever happened in their
r particular lines that they didn't even
= know the crowd was givin' 'em the ha-
b. ha until they'd got through.
Anyway, as q IT'D TICKER JndL snow
p, was all to the good. The folks nearly
~ mobbed Pinckney. tellin' him what a
~ case he was to think up such an eXhi-
is bition, and he laid it all to Sadie and
IA me.
a Only the duchess didn't exactly seem
- to connect with the joke. She sat
4 stOlidly through the whole performance
n lin a kind Of a daZe. and then afterTard
she SAYS: 1T wasn't what I'd cal
r. ireally clever. you know but. my word
Z the poor things tried hard enough
- Just before 1 starts for home 1 hunts
- Iup LeOnidas He was giyin orders q
~ his boss canvasman when l found him
n and feeln' the pulse of his one-lungel
o that Mrs. Brassetts. chauffeur had tin
ID kcred up.
,c well, Leonidas." says l. ARE YOU
y gOin' to put the Shakespeare-Saga
~ combination on the ten-tWenty- thirty
circuit"
l. Not if 1 can prove an alibi' says
~ he. I've just paid a weeks advance
N salary TO that crowd Of Melbas and
"a Booths. and told EN- to go sign con