The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1908-07-25
Social Amenities for the School Girl

Social Amenities for the School Girl.
If it were possible precisely to tell
what is good breeding, it would best be
expressed by saying it is made up of
little things. 1t is not one thing alone
which denotes a lady, although it is
quite true that one action may pro-
claim the fact of not being one. But
the hallmark of her who is we'll bred
and we'll brought up is her unfailing
and unconscious observation of the
many trifling acts with which the day
is filled.
Unless a girl is unconscious in her
manner of observance she becomes n
prig, losing much of her charm, as
we'll as some of the effect of good
breeding.
Kindness of heart is an enormous aid
to good breeding. For example. def
erence and attention to older persons
are part of good form. Take a girl
who has not had all the advantages CT
good birth, but is endowed with sweet
ness of nature and kindly DISPOSE
ton In the most graceful way in the
world she waits upon her elders, stoop
ing to pick up a handkerchief that has
been dropped or standing aside to let
an older woman precede her through
the door. The little attentions are the
spontaneous impulse of thoughtfulness
toward others, and it is good breeding
in the best sense of the term that
prompts them.
There can be no doubt that kindness
of nature, or at least in expression is
an important characteristic of a lady,
and unhappily, in summer especially,
girls are all too apt to forget this. In
the long, lazy days, when they have
energy for nothing and neither minds
nor fingers are occupied, the tongue of
more than one girl runs away with
her, as far as comment on her friends
is concerned. Nothing is said with a
direct desire of being disagreeable or
but if girl will stop to think
over some of the afternoons she has
spent recently with her mates. when all
have been of the same set. she will be
apt to find that some absent friend
has suffered at their tongues Nobody
meant really to say anything unkind,
but her weak points were rather well
gone over and instances cited of things
silly of stupid that the one
under discussion has done. In other
her worst side has been held
up to criticism and ridicule.
This cannot be called precisely wrong.
but it's effect upon the girls who do the
talking is more harmful than TO her
who has been talked about. The habit
of saying unkind or spiteful things is so
easily acquired and is such a boom
erang for her who does it. Every per
son has some vulnerable point, some
weak spot or failure that may be the
subject of criticism or Jest. What is
more. each person is quite we'll aware
Of the fact, and people are afraiad of
the girl whose tongue is sharp and
whose criticisms of others are pointed. |
They may laugh at her sallies when |
with her. but each leaves with a feel |
ing of fear as to what she will say |
about them when their backs are turn |
ed, and such a girl loses popularity |
Sarcasm is one of the most dangerous |
weapons that girl can have, for, while !
1t first she hurts others with it, in the |
md she most hurts herself. She is not |
trusted; her friends are i'll at ease with |
Ter, and after time there are many |
places and occasions to which she is |
not welcome because of her dangerous !
gift
1t is a curious fact that the majority |
If girls pass through the sarcastic age. |
md, to their credit be it said, most of |
hem outgrow it, There is time when |
hey thing it clever to say sharp and |
cutting things either to or about a per-
son. If there is a strain of bitterness
n the sarcasm, the habit becomes far |
more serious in its effects upon the |
girl and she should leave no effort |
lnmade to control it. She can guard |
Ter tongue. if not her thoughts, and /
;he cannot too soon realize that if she |
Effects irony, considering it to be wit,
he sooner she drops it the more friends
The will have.
Girls who desire to have the sweet
less of character so necessary to good
breeding might do something toward
it this summer by forming
Kindly club whose object shall be
o do small kindnesses for others and
o say only those things which are
ind An infleXible rule should be that
when other people are under discussion
girl who cannot say something kind
bout them win keep still. A most
leasing part of the procedure will be
hat she will find that there is none
f her friends about whom she cannot
ay something pleasant, and she will
orm the delightful habit of remember
ng the fact, so that when she thinks
f her companions it will not be with
but with pleasure.
The result for all concerned will more
han repay any effort at remembering
he good and forgetting the disagree
BILE which exists in each friend.