davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
SIR HENRY's FUNERAL.
Services Are Read at West Minists
 Abbey for Former Minister.

 Services Are Read at West Ministev
 Abbey for Former MinisteF.
 London, April 27.-The funeral ser vice of the church of England was solemnized in West Minister Abbey ~ noon today, over the body of Sir'Hssry Campbell Zimmerman, late premier or Great Britain. in the presence Of large gathering representing the poll itical life of England.
 After the service. short procession moved from the Abbey to Euston sta tion. where special train took tho comm, some of Sir Henry's relatives and a few of his closest friends to Scotland. It was a typical gloomy London day and a dismal rain was fall ing when the cortege made its way through the streets. The ceremony or today held much less of display than was seen when Mir. Gladstone was laid at rest. but the grandeur of the Abbey and the character of those who assem- bled today. formed noteworthy hts- toricalN scene.
 Scores of the former premier's poll ticaI associates were present but his two predecessors in once. Mir. Balfour and Lord Rosebery, were unable to at tend
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
NOISY mR. GoMPERs.

Some days ago The Washington cor respondent of The New York Journal of Commerce wrote to that paper:
 Labor men. .n the effort to justify theIf existence here to their supporters at home, have been having something of a hard time. The rank and file of the labor organizations. dissatisfied with en sns o ef worp % to the some past and finding their boycott system dis tinctiy abridged by the recent court decisions, are saying that the work have maintained in Washington has been ineffective and fru.tless. In reply the labor agitators here are pointing to the retirement of Mir. Littleheld, of Maine. who has been consistently op- posed to labor demands, as great vic- tory. They are citing the results of the conferences between the representa- atives of the Government and railway officials
 Ia maihtena nee of wages where reductions had been threatened. as the outcome of their own efforts. They are citing the passage of the employers liability law in an extreme form as an achievement for this session. Further they had apparently been under the impression that the proposed amend ment to the sherman antitrust law would be so framed as to exempt many labor agreements now obnoxious to the law. from further attack, As to tn e anu. sntil.inJnnetion l measu which was
 
 aRo at the request of the President the labor leaders have never thought 1t went far enough. An apparent change Tn thetr attitude has however occurred and they now seem to be de. sirous that this kiII should he reported by the Judiciary Committee and passed.
 'Tn short" comments The Charlotte Observer. it is a case of necessity for making some pretense at earning the liberal salaries which they receive, and this they can do only by noisiness. The men who pay the bills must be given the impression that but for Mir. Gompers ct al. at Washington all sorts of terrible things would happen to them. Recent Supreme Court decisions holding. in effect, that organized labor cannot exercise special privileges apart from other citizens, have given them 6 most welcome opportunity and they are now in full cry. The prevailing in- dustrial depression of course works for them; and this being also a presiden- tial year. they will certainly get them selves taken much more seriously than before. Not a great deal of response has as yet been evoked from the ranks, but the agitation is sufficiently prom isinK to arouse marked interest in po- litical circles. Hence President Roose- velt's evident disposition to carry con- ciliation as far as his oath of office and his Americanism will permit But Mir. Gompers and the other softly berthed lobbyists still have most of the shouting to themselves. It is just as well. when any loud noise is heard in the land. to ascertain correctly the source and the motive"
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
DRIFT OOD sy rnIL H. ARMSTRONG.
Did you set . hoiidsyf

Did you set . nolidsyf Lots of pretty school girls with now CTS were seen on the streets yesterday
 Let us hope the rain is over. pais,aSPs tin s 0sossddl 0sosfdlns sy ssS.: ere very
 Fashion Note: Merry widow hats will be knocked this season. why .doti. the iittis busy bee sit down where we would sit bsseeT
 corteiyou made severai speeches of to revive the ghost of his presidential boon.--Atlanta Constitution.
 Why should anyone try to waken the dead? Let 1t sleep.
 Bob pevine says:
 "Oh, boy. you don't know what real trouble is; Wait till you get older and nave fallin' out with a brunette"
 There Is lawn of 1000 acres in Durango. Mexico. Glad we don't have to peal of our coat and mow It.
 Mr. Bryan says: T hope the time will come when editors will write their true convictions"
 A candidate in the recent race for Mayor of Milwaukee was named Mir. Dust. This is an appropriate name for municipal candidate these days.
 Three Weeks" may be staged in America, which leads Ths Atianta Con- stitution to remark that 1t ought to get six months.
 Bill Taft of on another exciting 5adnt. If he keeps this up he'll yet work off some of that surplus avoirdu- pois.
 Scientists now say that cigars are harmless. Cut this out and show 1t to your wite.
 A Western poet sighs in verse that his wife Is false to him. Lots of men ind after marriage that their wives are false to them in this day of pad ding.
 First worm--what's the matter old ehsp; ss:oys ySu look eSha1stsd wtsa.r v inc. crawied half way round one of these merry widow hats.
 Getting the first kiss Is the hard part
 What does 1t cost to keep . hen a year? asks Northern paper. known certain boarding houses to keep a turkey over half-a dozen meals Tn half dozen forms and make money out or lt.
 4 kangaroo can leap 70 feet at one jump. but SO can an old maid in leap year, when man heavss in sight.
 Speaking of straw votes we'd like to vote all the W. M hats out of exist ence.
 Bloom Time an' Tune Time. Bloom time an tune time
 The worlds bright an fair. Blossoms in meadow
 An song in the air. Time to be happy,
 An time to make love. Like the blue-birds a-matin'
 In the branches above. Bloom time an tuns-tfme.
 An time to be gay, For April Is dancin'
 two-step with May. There's no time for sighin'
 For life Is not long Instead of us cryin'
 Have laughter an song.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
ONE OF THE IDLE RICH.
With Money fo Thror Away. He Finds
 Life q Great Bore. Jultus Chambers in The Brooklyn

Wfth Money to Throw Away. He Finds Julias Chambers in The Brooklyn
 Not long ago young man in the idle rich class, an Intellectually pow his fathers estate of more than sso, ,0o0 per year. spoke to me about going to Spain: but he admitted that he hadn't the faintest idea where it. was or how .on the other sidei. He had been to Europe several times. but ns@yer got beyond the allurements of PtSs. Ex- animation of . map didn't appear to teiligence. He said he hadn't seen a map since he was at Somebody's pri- vat eschooL He couldn't find Paris on the map! He explained that in the fin the center of country coiored green.
 This sounds incredible for a man of a5. raised in luxury. until one under-
 He has [ five automobiles but he doesn't understand the simplest prin- ciple of their construction; he couldn't tell which are electrical and which are gasoline motors. About books he knows nothing; said he hadn't read a novel or travel book in his life.
 For Gods sake, Johnnie, what do
 Nothing, just nothing" was his re- ply.
 And he told the absolute truth. He Is not . dissipated youngster; doesn't drink liquors because he do.sn't ike their taste Doesn't smoke cigars. be- cause they make him sick: likes cisar- cites. but will not use them because they discoior his carefully manicured fingers He Is fond of the fair sex. and spends s1o.o00 year in flowers.
 His tailor has a standing order for three suits of clothes month: but he valves the pleasure of selecting the goods or of trying on the finished gar. ments. So far as see. his valet gets most of the garments after they nave been worn half a dozen times. He haa to change his dress thrice every day a morning suit for the forenoon, when he arises before i2; Prince Albert Tor the afternoon, and evening dress at night Therein centers his most acute activity.
 Honestly. life Is great bore to this to throw away.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
WORDS. MERE WORDS.

Of all the dependents on the man agement of this great country" re- marks The New Haven Register. the Indian needs most square deal. He has had the other kind long enough. We hope. however. that the west of all that Is in the past. The long genera tions of unfairness. of misunderstand- ing of robbery and grabbing. of need less bloodshed in consequence, can't be undone. The aborigine could not adapt himself to our progress, and there was bound to be strife. The adjustment might have been much more pleasantly made, but 1t was impossible that the early settlers and fighters should see things as we see them. That is all of the past. It is for us to face the fu- ture.
 The present and rising generations of Indians are different creatures from their forebathers. They are beginning to understand the nature and necessity of American progress, and to adapt themselves to it. They have in them the making of good and valuable citi- zens. Give them the square deal. We have ceased in great measure to treat them as children who must be toted in arms; we should cease 1t altogether. We should get next to them, under stand them-in the words of the Presi- dent. give them a chance"
 Some days ago the President had before him A delegation of business
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
wHY THEY oProsE IT.
Mccall Bill Threatena Source of Re-
 Pnhlteah cslnpetR Fund.


 pnhltcan CaEnpetR Fund.
 Phlladsipfifa Record sss
 The publication of what a candidate expends or what Is expended for him after his election or defeat Is of small practical consequence. Had the Re. publican National Committee been com pelled to publish all contributions of tho trusts and corporations to the cam paign fund before the election in i90G the country would have been amazed at the enormous expenditure. It may be anticipated that the tarifT- nouFish- ed trusts. in their dread of Democratic success will be as lavish in their con- tributions this year as they were in 1904, unless they are exposed in ad- vance by law and thus restrained from making dishonest use of the money of their stockh olders to cofrupt the cleo tions of the people This is the reason why the trusts, with their stand-pat champions in Congress. will not permit the passage of the Mccall bill this ses- sion if they can help it-anS taey think that they can.
 Should the Democrats elect a major ity to the next Congress the tarin will be revised, and especially in those schedules which enabled the steel trust. the lumber trust. the sugar trust, the paper trust and their conReners to ey- ploit the American people. In this sit uation Ii will be interesting to observe the methods of Speaker Cannon. Chair man Payne and their stand-pat col league. Representative Dalzell. for pre- venting favorable consideration Of tha Mccall bill. U
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
This r. My ssth Bathday
Bishsr Uinssted. .

Charles Tyler oin,sted. Protestant Episcopal Bishop of Central New York. was born at cohoes. N. T.. April 2s. lst2. After gradustlng from Trinity divinity at St. Stephens College and was ordsined a deacon in 1887. and q priest the following year. For several years he was an Instructor In mathe- 1888 he became al, assistant In the fa- nous Trinity Church parish in New York City and remained there until lSsf. From tsst until 1899 he was rector of Grace Church In Utica. Du- ring the next three years he was again In New York City identified with Trim lty Parish. where he remained until elected Bishop Coadtutor of Central became a Bishop and was consecrated in Utica, July Il I9O4.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
APPROVES 1TINERARY.
Places Fleet VIII Visit on Trip Around
 tke World.

Plneen Fleet VIII Visit on IT'D AfO0no
 the World.
 washington. April 27.-President Roosevelt today approved an itinerary for the Atlantic battleship fleet. on its way around the world. covering the trip to the Philippine Islands. up to China and Japan and then back to Manila.
 According to this itinerary the fleet will leave San Francisco July '. ar. rive at Honolulu July Is. remain seven days. arrive at Auckland August g, re- main six days; arrive Sydney August 20, remain seven days; arrive Mel. bourne August 2s. remain seven days: arrive Albany. AustraliF (for coaD, September i. remain six days; arrive Philippines. October l. remain nine days; arrive yokohama, october IT. re- main seven days.
 At Yokohama the heet will be divid- ed, the first squadron going to Manila and is scheduled to reach there Oc- tober 31 The second squadron will go to Annoy, reaching there october 29, and after a stay of, six days will go to Ma. nila, reaching there November '.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
EDUCATION IN CHINA.
Laws Of the Oriental Land AIe Being
 MOdeFnlsed.

MOdernised.
 San Francisco. April 27.-The most significant feature in the awakening of China. and what promises to he the most potent factor in raising the eni- pirc to the level of Great Western na- tions. is found in the earnestness with which the government is pursuing it's policy of general education" said F. T Williams. newly appointed consul general to Tien Tsin. who arrived here last night
 The laws of the land are being modernized to abolish extra territor- ial Jurisdiction. A general coditica- tion of the laws. making them har- monize tbe more with the International laws of the Ccidental nations is being rapidly pressed by a sepcial commits sion. Lawyers are being admitted to practice, trial by jury is being intro duced and schools of law are being esta blished. The only system of com bining judicial and administrative functions in one person is being abol- ished."
 MT. Williams. wbo has been in the Orient for twenty years. is on his way to take his post. having been appoint ed on March f.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28

cordon surrounds the port. No busi- ness is being done.
 There are several new cases of the fatal disease every day as well as sew srai deaths from 1t. Houses where there have been deaths. are being burned. The government has not yet acknowledged that this illness is bu- bonic plague. According to infornia- tion supplied by the consul corps there have been nifty deaths in i've weeks.
 There is q possibility that steamers will stop calling even at Puerto cap balo and as result the price of pro- visions in Caracas is rising rapidly.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
FILIPINO BANK ROBBED.

Trusted Employers Have Been Cnfrx-
 ing on Extensive Frauds.
 Manila, April 2T.--The Banso-Ie panol- -Filipina has been the victim of extensive frauds, totailing about ESQ., 900 In gold.
 The cashier says that through trust ed employees whom have been operat- ing with outside accomplices and hon. bring checks against non-existinK ae- counts. altering the books to conceal the frauds, this leak has been going on for years.
 One clerk has been arrested and other arrests are expected to follow The bank will partly recoup itselt through the seizure of property belong ing to those implicated
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
Age of Best Work.

Century Magazine.
 The records give an average age or so for the performance of the master work For the workers the average age is l7 and for thinkers 52 Chern- istg and physicists average the young. est at q; dramatists and playwrights. poets and inventors follow at 4: nov elists give an average of Ae; expior- CTS and actors. 4s; artists and divines occupy the equilibrium at fifty; essay ists and reformers stand at 51; phy- sicians and surgeons line up with the statesmen at 52: philosophers give an average of 45: astronomers and math. ematicians satirists and humorists reach 56: historians. 57; and natural ists and jurists, 5s. As may be noted at this time but the thinkers, as be- fore and as would naturally be ex. pected, attain their full maturity a' s later period than the workers.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
TO REJoIN FLEET.

Rear Admiral Evans Continues tS Im-
 prove Daily.
 Paso Robles. Hot Springs, Cal. April 27.--It is announced that if Rear Ad- miraI Evans continues to improve as rapidly he has been during the past two weeks. he will join the fleet at Monterey and be in command when the big fighting ships pass through the Golden Gate.
 It Is the Admirals dearest wish that he direct the fleet into San Francisco Bay and as his condition is so favor able. it has practically been decided that he will join the Connecticut at Monterey,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
Peace Use. for war.hip..

buNdIO EApICa5.
 The French and British fleets win now be used. like the American fleet. to show friendship. When President Fallieras visits England next month. the whole channel squadron of France will go with him, and the British home fleet will be assembled to welcome 1t. Altogether there will be sixty war ships. not counting the torpedo boats. Whether or not these war ships help to make the peace that now exists be- tween the two countries. their assem- blaze at least helps a realization and enioYment of the fact of peace.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
INDrANIANs WANT BRYAN.

Committee Trying to Arrange for
 speech In Indianapolis.
 Indianapolis Special.
 Chairman Jackson of the Democratic State Central Committee, announced tonight that the committee is trying to get Bryan to speak at State meeting of Democrats here before the Denver Convention. and if the arrangements take to bring one of tue biggest crowds here that ever assembled in the State.
 Bryan's friends feel that he ought to make his policies perfectly plain be- fore the National Convention meets. and the effort to Ket him here for a speech Is based on the belief.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
LEAGUE INVADEs INDIANA.
Hearst Manager Announces Plaa for
 Coming Campaign.

Delphi und.) Special.
 R. M. Ish herwood representative of W. K. Hearst in Indiana, said today that in addition to the full State ticket to be put in the field in this State. there would also be Congressional and joint Senatorial tickets in every dis. tr;ct.
 When asked as to whether county tickets would be named in all countiss he replied that they would put up a full list of candidates in all counties MT. Isherwood Is a candidate for the nomina ton of Governor. and the cam ps:gn to be made by the Hearst peo- pie will be directed toward the or Ranized labor vote. which. 1t is claimed is not in accord with either of the old parties.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
This Date in History
AnriI ca.

f7ss-Maryland ratified the Consti- tution of the United States.
 18I3-Prince Kutusoff. commander in-chief of the Russian forces that opposed the invasion of Napoleon. died. Born i745.
 1s5s-Colorado River expedition end ed.
 1S65-Slr Samuel cunard, founder of the Cunard steamship line. died. Born 17S7.
 1S94--Many lives lost by earthquakes in Venezuela. [ i905--General Fitzhngh Lee died Born NoNember l9 1885.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
WheeIer Ofrered PosltIon.

Washington, April 27.-President Roosevelt has offered the position of Assistant Secretary of Commerce and Labor to wm R. Wheeler of Califof- nia. This position will be made vacant tomorrow when Lawrence O. Murray will assume his new duties as Comp troIier of the Currency. Mfr Wheeler is now a member of the Immigration fsarnn,tftaA
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28

whenever a desperate criminal gives out the statement that he will never be taken alive" we always watch the future proceedings to see If he was not telling the truth. As a general thing that sort are apt to be taken dead.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
CALDWELL GROWING WEAKER.
Great Ameriean Identiaer May Never
 Face EsnRliNh CouPf

Face English Court.
 New York. April 27-Thers seems tn be little chance that Robert Cald- well. 'the great American identifler." will ever face an English court to answer to the charge of perjury that has been made against him. He is in the City Insane Hospital on Wards Island and Is reported by the physi- ciAns as daily growing weaker.
 It is said that he has but a short time to live Caldwell went to Eng land and testified in the famous Drucs suit. He said that he knew Druce as the Duke of Portland and that he arr ranged a false burial for Druce, plac- ing a roll of lead in. the coffin. When the grave was opened. Caldwelfs state ment was proved untrue and he es- caped to America He was indicted. and a demand was made for his ex- tradition. Two months ago. he was sent to the insane hospital.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
BUSINESS IS SUSPENDED.
Many More Deaths from Fatal Disease
 Tn VeneHueIa.

Caracas. Venezuelai via Port-oF- Spain. Trinidad. April 37-As result of the decree issued by President Cas- tro. closing the Port of l.aguaira tu' A period of fifteen days. Lakuira today ia completely isolated and business iS at a standstill The trans service be- tween Laguaira and Caracas has been discontinued. military and sanitary
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28

It is not exactly stated in words, but the inference from what we have read. is that Anna and Helie had a real yum-yummy time when they met.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28

It Is stated that Hary Thaw's mother wants him kept in the asylum. probably reasoning that he can do lesp harm there than outside.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28

Helie complains that the American newspaper reporters almost pestered the life out of him. That is not at all complimentary to them.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
HERS GUIDE

When a young girls thoughts be- come sluggish when she has head aches, dizziness, faintness, and ex- hibits an abnormal disposition to sleep; dislikes the society of other girls; then the mother should come to her aid promptly, for she pos sesses information of vital import ance to the young daughter.
 At such time the greatest aid to nature is Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege- table Compound. It prepares the young system for the coming change, and has helped to bring three generations safely from girl hood to womanhood. Read what
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28

Baseball, high ball and political bawl seem to be taking the country just about this time.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
swORN CALCULATION.

The Montgomery Advertiser guarantees its advertisers tand makes tt a pert of the contract when requested) that its daily cir' cfrcuiatton Is larger than that of any morn. ing newspaper printed in Alabama-and that It's Sunday edition has the largest ctr- culation of any edition of any newspaper printed in Alabama without exception.
 The figures for March printed below r~p- resent the actual net circulation all rs- turns having been dedueted
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
seIf-AaaurRnce.


 Three times three is ten" said the child.
 Nine" said the teacher. "It doesn't seem so to me" said the child under his breath. Don't know7" asked the teacher How conceited that teacher is" said the child.
 "A circle said the pupil doubtfully. "is a place with a point in it called the circumference"
 "A circle" sad the professor. "is a plane figure whose circumference is at all points equally distant from It's center"
 That's what you think muttered the pupil.
 Could 1t be anything else?" ask cd the professor.
 T don't like people who are 50 cock sure" said the pupil. Said the student: The Word is all muddle and strife"
 There is nothing" said the thinker, but universal mind"
 T think otherwise" said the stu dent.
 what do you think it witS?" asked the thinker. These. thinksrs think they know 1t all,' said the student
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
Renaoninw by TndIrectIou.

Hobson Is talking about Hobson for President on the Democratic ticket four years hence. Reasoning by indi- rection. he must see the finish of Will liam Jennings this time.