The Washington herald., 1908-03-08


ing youth. What crushing bow! What
has he done to YOU"
The Bachelor Girl glanced backward at
the flushed and uncomfortable-looking
youth with malicious gurgle.
1T isn't what he's done TO me, Mr.. Por-
ter" she replied with soft ripple of tri-
umphant laughter. ITS what I'm doing
10 him. Tm-rm standing him in the
corner"
''What?'
"Oh. Furnishing him for being naughty -
explained ths Bachelor Girl. 'being very
sweet and polite, you know. and not at
home when he calls. and giving him moth
ing but extra dances and casual gIances
and chance word in the conversation
and nod of the head when l meet him,
and a sweet. ambiguous answer when he
tries to quarrel with me. It's the only
way" and she sighed softly.
THE only way 70 what?' inquired the
Mere Man with characteristic masculine
readiness 70 defend his sex. ITO put a
man through the third degree or to make
him hate you or"
To make him do what you want him
TO do" returned the Bachelor Girl quite
unperturbed as she lifted her skirts daint-
fly over a puddle. There's no use argu-
ing with a man. nor explaining TO him,
nor bullying him. nor coaxing him.
Wrangling is as foolish as-as March"
and she grasped her fur toque with both
hands as the wind swept down the ave-
nue. in a biting guest.
What's the matter with March," pro-
tested the Mere Man, trying 20 hold his
hat and his cane and his balance and the
Bachelor Girl all at the same time, Its
a pretty good month"
Like some pretty good wives re-
joined the Bachelor Girl mockingly. 1T
just busters and blows and makes
muss and a fuss and never accomplishes
anything except 10 make itself disliked.
But you can't stand a husband in the
corner" retorted the Mere Man. You
can't treat the man who is paying the
gas bill and the rent as if he were just
the paper on the wall or an extra chair
around the house Or
"Oh. yes. you CAM" broke In the Bach
elor Girl letting 80 her hat as the wind
subsidized "And if you don't, he'll treat
you that way Just look at the wives
who are stood in the corner so much of
the time that they get an habitual apollo
begging your pardon for living. Those
are the March wives, who wrangle and
never get their way, and the April wives,
who weep and never get what they cry
for. not the May wives Who"
Who smile and smile and continue to
be villains" interposed the Mere Man.
sarcastically.
Exactly" agreed the Bachelor Girl
How well you I'LL out my arguments.
Mr. Porter"
The Mere Man grunted and subsided-
Haven't you ever noticed" continued
The Bachelor Girl plaeidly, that it's the
person who says least in this world who
accomplishes most and that it's the per-
son who says least in n quarrel who does
as he pleases afterward? Argument is
little trick invented by His Majesty Satan
for putting the right person in the
wrong"
But a woman must always have her
say" declared the Mere Man maliciously.
And that's why man always has his
way rejoined the Bachelor Girl while
she is thinking OF stinging remarks TO
make and different ways 10 express her
opinion and 10 present her side of the
question and to strengthen her argument
and wasting all her energy in windstorms
and all her reserve force in recrimina-
lions, he is merely thinking Of how he is
going TO get out and do what she is for
bidding him to 10.
And of what a good excuse her har-
angue is giving him for doing it, added
the Mere Man wryly.
And OF how he will punish her. II his
conscience hurts him after he has done
g." finished the Bachelor Girl rBut II
she would just stand MIN in the corner.
If she would just bite her tongue and
clinch her fingers and let him fire the
first gun or the first remark, and then
warily lead him on and make him do all
the talking and the firing. he'd find him
self getting madder and madder and
winding himself all up in his own argu-
ment, and gradually backing into the cor
mel" and the Bachelor Girl laughed mer-
rily at the thought
And then." remarked the Mere Man
bitterly II suppose it would be her cue to
smile triumphantly and go off and leave
him there?''
Yes" gurgled the Bachelor Girl, "and
IN half an hour he'd be only too glad TO
crawl out and TO come over and sit at her
knees and say his little Now 1 lay me
down for you to walk over me-"
L know how it feels" sighed the Mere
Man thoughtfully. Just like il did when
] was a small boy and the governor sent
me upstairs to stand in a corner until he
had finished his cigar and his morning
paper before spanking me. The hour I
spent in that corner was ten times more
punishment than the whipping itself: and
by the time the Old Man got 10 me was
ready 10 yell, Oh, spank! spank. and
have Il done and over with"
Exactly" agreed the Bachelor Girl de-
lightedIy. And that's just the way a
man feels when he knows he deserves his
wife's scolding and she won't give It to
him, but just goes on ignoring him and
keeping him guessing what it will be like
when it does come"
'Ugh"' the Mere Man shuddered. why
don't you write a book on it? The Re-
nnement OF Torture for Husbands or
How to Drive a Man to DR."
But il doesn't drive him that way"
protested the Bachelor Girl 1T drives
him just the way you want him to 60 1t
isn't asking man where he has been,
when he stays out late nights, that makes
him tell you the truth; it's not asking
him that gets him 30 nervous and anx-
ious that he will tell you almost anything
just TO get on good terms with you again
II isn't sitting up for him with a poker
that makes him sorry; it's going out
yourself. or going to sleep that rouses
his curiosity or makes him ashamed Of
himself. 1t isn't forbidding him to smoke
IN the parlor that keeps him out of il.
but making the parlor so cold and stiff
that he can't pass the door without a
shudder. 1t isn't what you say. but what
you don't say. that falls on his conscience
with dull. sickening thud It's shutting
the door on him theoretically, Just as
you would on the cat or a stray dog. that
makes him want TO come inside and
warm his fingers at a casual smile or
kind word from you The wife who
does as she pleases and makes her hus-
band do likewise is the one who never