Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-04-24
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Harpers' Bazaar.
How shall we announce our engage
ment" "Tell a couple Of your girl
friends and make them promise not to
tell."-Houston Post.
The Poetic be poet one must be
poor. TIE Congratulations
You are the poorest poet l ever met
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Briggs-I hear you've been speculat-
Ing in Wall street. Griggs-There was
no speculating about 1t. l was dead
sure thing from the start-Llfe.
She-Don't you think he's cleveri
He-Well, he seems to make people
think so. She-Well, don't you consid.
er that clever?-Yonkers Statesman.
Grocery Clerk-And how do you girls
round at 1919 like your new mistress? =?
The Waitress-Shure an she's per-
feet lady-just like wan or oursilves.-
Brooklyn Life
Minister-My dear little boy, why
don't you get an umbrella? Jakey-
Since pa las quit going to church he
never brings home any more umbrellas.
The Jewish Ledger.
First Mother (readlng letter from
son at college)-Henry's letters always
send me to the dictionary. Second
Mother (resignedly) THAT'S nothing
QIxua T.
Puck.
Now" said the physician, you will
have to eat plain food and not stay out
late at night" "Yes," replied the pa-
tient, that is what 1 have been think
Ing ever since you sent in your bill."-
The Catholic News.
Literature is very trying, isn't it?s
said one woman. "Yes," answered the
other. "If your book doesn't sell, you
are disappointed, and if 1t does it has
70 be SO shocking that you are embar.
Observation-Disclosures Herald.
"Your son." said the professor, "has
been laborlng under a misapprehen-
sion." What" exclaimed the humble
but honest parent, with joy in his voice
"Ye don't mean IT." "Mean what?"
THAT Josiar has been workin'."
Musical Manager - Now, candidly,
talking of the performance of Wagner
Ian opera, what do you think of our
company's execution? Candid Critic
1t is not execution, my friend; 1t is
Observation-Disclosures American.
You're rather young man to be
left in charge Of drug store" said
the fussy old gentleman. ''Have you a
diploma?" "Why-er-no. sir" replied
the drug clerk, "but we have a prep
aration of our own that's just as good"
Philadelphia Press.
Wife, came across bundle of your
old love letters to-day. Husband-Did
you read them over? Wife-Yes. Hus-
band-And what was the effect of that
perusal? Wife-I wondered which was
the bigger fool-you for writing them
or I for marrying you after receiving
them.
II received your majesty's message
said the new missionary. "Did I un-
derstand you would do me the honor to
call upon me and dine tomorrow 2"
almost correct" replied the cannibal
chief, 81 said would call and dine up.
on you tomorrow" Philadelphia
Press.
Towne-There was a spelling bee
down at our church the other night.
The pastor gave out the words. Did
you hear about it? Browne-No; was
1t interesting? Towne-Rather. The
first three words he gave out were Sin
crease" pastor" salary."-Philadel-
phia Press.
O'Hagan-Oi have found the nah
that hit me wild brick as OF was pass
In the alley, Mr.. Murphy Mr.. MUIR
phy-And what did you do with him?
O'Hagan-Nothin'. Twas all q mis-
take-the man was only doing his duty.
He thought OF was policeman In
plain clothes.-Smiles
government inspector, entering
rural postoffice, expressed surprise up
on seeing a woman at the delivery win
dow. 81 was under the impression"
said he, "that man was in charge Of
this Office" "And so he was" replied
the woman sharply, "but l married
him."-Atlanta Constitution.
Dora, would you be willing to marry
young man who has to make his own
way in the world and who has nothing
but his love for you to recommend
him| Certainly, Gerald, If cared
enough for him, but at present don't
know of any such young man. Frosty
weather, isn't itY'-Chicago Tribune.
Buncum-I see by the papers that