The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-07-03
A CRYING
EVIL
(Copyright.)
BY Tom Mason.

Some ladies claim that where one is
changing husbands all the time even
one baby is superhuous and any. more
would be public nuisance. For one
thing, babies are always more or less
In the way They interfere with
European travel and are hard to hold
in horse-cars. They are not allowed
In baggage-cars, cannot be sent by
freight or express, nor checked at a
hotel They seem to be naturally
wicked, are hard to raise, and seldom
repay the trouble they cause.
A baby around the house often in
terferes with the pleasures of the
nurse. He is always falling out of
his carriage or interrupting her In
the midst of an exciting novel, A
nurse ought to have as good time
as anyone else, but the baby often
keep her from the highest enjoyment.
1t is hard for her to run downstairs
and call up her best fellow when the
baby is running loose without collar
or leader. Along with other modern
conveniences, every well-regulated
house ought to have a telephone
switch in the nursery and save the
gentle and patient nurse as many
steps as possible.
Babies are generally admitted to
be a poor security Although a great
deal of money is put into them, no
baby would be accepted as collateral
by ones butcher or broker. They
draw relatives, are hard to name, and
almost always develop the worst traits
of our ancestors, not to mention our
selves.
The number Of babies had by un-
intelligent and shortsighted parents
doesn't matter In kind, but in degree.
If one baby is general nuisance, 1t
stands to reason that two of them
ought to be twice as bad. But the
truth is, by the law of Formulation,
two are three times as bad as one,
and three, six times as bad as two.
A single baby can be slowed away
in an alcove or a soap-box and his
cries muffied by any hard-hearted old
female, but trained nurse and
corps Of faithful assistants will fail in
the case Of two.
That is the supreme danger of hav-
ing babies, anyway. Providence has
no head for figures, One of them can
be decently tolerated and treated by
the philosophic mind like any other
bad investment. But when we are
up against two or three of them, as
the stork may be-when we have to ell
bow our way down to breakfast in the
morning and there is wintry forest
of cribs in all the upper stories, almost
any kind of hereafter is welcome
change.
1t is a common belief that when, in
our youthful days, the sanctity Of our
homes is invaded by babies, it's such
a real good thing, because they will
support us in our old age. But by the
time the returns are beginning to
come in the chances are about ten to
one that our candidates are going to
be beaten at the polls. Most of us by
that time are too old to care. What
we need most of all is someone to sup
port us while we are bringing the
paoies up
It's all very We'll when you are
about ~ years ola ana fuil OF rneuma-
tism and "reminiscences, to sit by the
I fireside of your wealthy son-in-law
or daughter-in-iaw ana wniie you are
spinning some prosy Ola yarn 10 your
dehgnteo auuiehce, u nave your prov
smoothed Dy sen'ie nahus' anu
$lo-a-montn maui s.ahuihs over you
WIN ner arms iuii-o ., rare oid maue,ra :
ana canary IN soiu uecah'ers., nu'
tnat ISM what happens IN reai me-
what happens IN real me is .hat you
are relegateu 10 SOME urdIty attic