The Bossier banner. [volume] (Bellevue, Bossier Parish, La.) 1859-1952, 1908-12-03

SlIllhHiS sOllcItOuSiy. LIZ ny "Au
calm yourself
9TH try. Sereny." he replied meelly.
You see. num-" explained the doc.
tor. they always act that way when
they have hysteria. They always
think you are trying to torture EN-.
If you'll kindly get some cioth. MUS.
and some mustard, We'll make some
plasters. Let's see." Bige was hunt
ing for something under his chair His
handkerchief was stuffed In his mouth,
and he was blue in the face "We'll
need one plaster for his chest. another
for his back and one for the sole Of
each foot"
You're not goin to put them fcoi
things on me!' howled Abner. sitting
up and glaring as If he was going
stark mad. Il tell you. amt goin' to
let We make any bigger idjit of me
than ye have already"
"Mebby we'd better chloroform him."
suggested Bige "Mebby we'd better
strap him to board
Its too bad to have to put these
things on anybody" soliloGuized DR..
Lavender dryly while he and Bige FL
let were affixing the plasters Would
not wonder but they'll disfgure him
for life
''And he amt any too good lookin'
as 1t is. goodness knows" added Bige
sympathetically.
go ahead and taunt me-" growled
Abncr in 81 mufiied voice from the en-
vironment of his disarranged clothing
There" said the doctor finally, fas-
tening the last band and rising to his
feet. Now we must keep him warm
and three or four bedquilts on top Of
him."
"Sereny." observed Abner few
moments later. peering out from be-
meath a mountain Of bedelothes like a
rabbit peeking from under a straw
| long for this world. Fin half cured
ham covered with mustard feel
! like a moldy old sandwich" He turn
ed his face toward the wall and
groaned
"Oh. Abner.'' said Miss Simkin.;
cheerfully. do try and bear up, Alb
ner!'
And. Sereny." he resumed weakly.
when they take them poultices often
me I'll be the reddest Moon anybody
ever saw. I'll be SO lurid that won't
dare to go home for fear of givin' my
children the scarlet fever"
i There. there" crooned Miss Simkins
/ cheerily: ''dou't you go to worryin'
about them children. Abner.'
| He turned and looked at her tender
| ly. "Sereny." he said, would you
! really like to look after 'em-always?
Would you care to marry He
paused suddenly and rolled his eyes
like one in mortal agony His breath
came in gasps His mouth was wide
, open
Fire. FIRE.! he roared suddenly.
trying desperately to push the covers
off. I'm ablaze from one end of me
to the other. I'm a ragin' conflagra-
ton. In just three minutes there won't
be nothin' left of me but bed of
Goals. I'm sufferin' spontaneous COM
bustion. tell We! Won't somebody
please put me outY'
Miss Simkins wrung her hands in
fright "Oh. DR.. Lavender she cried
"Oh. Mr.. Ellet! Do something for
him, can't your
"Mebby I'd better throw a bucket Of
water on him." said Bige. "AIcbby I'd
better turn in a fire alarm
''Consarn ye!' groaned Abner II
want We to take them things often me.
They've drawed my wishbone and my
spinal column together already. and
the soles Of my feet are clinging to my
kneecaps like stone bruise to a boys
heel
BE there any blisters on YET" asked
DR.. Lavender
There's just one" snorted Abner,
but It's bigger than barn door. and
I'm right in the middle Of It.
TOO bad" said the doctor solemnly
when plasters take effect as quick as
that it shows his nervous system is a
total wreck" He opened his medicine
case, took out bottle. shook 1t and
held 1t between him and the light.
I'm afraid, num-" he resumed sad
~, It'll have to give him a dose of
this. after all. hate to do 1t, but it's
the only chance left u.s. He poured
little into q spoon. Abner was
watching him with ford but anx-
ious face.
ut may cure him, num-" he re-
sumed gravely ''If it does. he will be
a well man In ten minutes, but If ii
doesn't, mum. it will kill him deader
than nit"
/ Abner clutched the bedclothes con-
vulsively. He tried to speak, but he
could only gurgle like cider pouring
out all over him.
"N-n-no,' he gasped, throwing off
the covers and sitting up on the edge
of the sofa, II won't take It'll There is
nothin' ailin' me but just plain foolish
: ness. l came here to court Sereny, and
when | saw Bige Ellet comm hid In
the smokehouse. But I'm goin' home
now. amt goin' to ask Sereny to
marry me. wouldn't ask any woman
to marry consar1sd idjit that'll let a
couple Of heartless heretics make a
dogratted Ounce Of him"
But want to marry your cried
Miss Simkfns, laughing and weeping
by turns. II don't care II you have
been offered up as a burnt sacrifice
You've passed through the fiery fur.
mace triumphant, and I'll marry you II