The Prescott daily news., 1908-01-13
EDDY MEETS A DIVORCE DETECTIVE
By Nellie Breen

lu lu6 pdCk yhfu fdSt ulSut. Wuhh Noo itf" asked Mrs. Youngwife one morn ing, seating herself in the sunny kitch- en for a chat while Biddy Flynn was ironing.
 Tt wuz on'y Rover interviewin' an amatoor detective" replied Biddy.
 What was an amateur detective do- ing in our back yard?"
 That wus jist tn pint thut puzzled Rover. Ye see. twuz like this. mum" the girl explained. Mister Baxter. th' mon I wux vorkin' fer afore l cum here. is afther gettin' divorce rum his wife. He's makin belave she mis- conducted hersilf wunst whin he wus in N Yark so sint detictive over here t infarm me ov ut. bein' es he wants me t swear t ut"
 But she didn't misconduct herself, did she!" Queried Mrs. Youngwife.
 70 coorse not" Biddy retorted, but I wadn't be tillin tn detictive thot It 'ud do more good t tell tn jedge. So 1ist lets on ex how 1 wadnt be saYin innything whativer fer fear O bein' liable fer domages."
 How did you come to set the dog on him? Tell me all about it." Mrs. Youngwife begged.
 "Whin I wuz dhryin' me dinner dishes last night" began the girl. T hears knock at tn dure an whin l open ut, in steps wan O these free an aisy gints that owns all tn arth nd most O tn hivins
 I'm a frind O Missus Baxter's,' says he. an I just trapped in to see If you could give me inny infermashun that would help wid her soot.'
 An thin he arsks quistions about how long 1 warked there and sich nd I answers all right till he arsks whin l seen Missus Baxter last. Thin 1 begun t be 'fraid he'd git me in a corner where 1 couldn't git out wid- out lettin on I knowed who sint him, so l jist speaks up suddint like nd says: I'm scart t answer inny more Quistions fer fear O bein' liable fer domages
 You cant be liable fer domages, if you heven't inny propurty,' says he,
 "'Who's sayin ain't got no prop urty?' says l.
 Well, even if you have, says he, you can't be liable if you tell ony tn thruth!'
 Tndade, I can, says l. Tim Ma lony tould only the truth about Pat Finnegan, an Pat had him up fer a matther O two hundrid dollars
 That wuz because Maloney could n't prove his assarshuns,' says he.
 "'An' how wad I be provin' whin I seen Missus Baxter?' says l.
 You won't have t prove ut,' says he, an I could see he wuz beginnin' t git riled, but If you won't answer a few simple quistons I'll find a way to make you says he.
 How c'n ye make me talk If I'll not be doin ut? says I.
 I'll have ye subpaned, says he
 "'Yell hev me what?'
 You'll be subpaned!
 Holy mither! Whats thot?' says l.
 "A paper'n be sarved on ye, says he, an yell be brought into coort, n thin If you won't talk tn jedge 'ull put you In prisin.'
 An. g'wan wid ye.' says l. Ye cant git put in prism in this country unless ye steal CT kill some wan
 Yes, you can, says he. 'Ye can be put in prism fer gittin dhrunk
 Now. ye're stuffin' me, sure, says l. I've seen minny a mon git dhrunk an they didn't put i'm in prism at all at all
 That's because he wasn't arristed, says he
 Faith, an it's quare law. says l. Soomtimes ye c'n do a thing an thin agin ye can't, so I'd best be doin' naw- thin at all, an thin I won't be liable fer domages.'
 Thin he let go his timper intoirely an used tn langwidge, mum, as l wadn't repate t ye. an I loost tn dog. Ye heared tn rist Ony he'll not be cummin' t Biddy Flynn fer inny more infermashun about Missus Baxter"
 Il thought it was dog fight Isn't it too bad. though. the Baxters have all that trouble?" said Mrs. Young. wife. thoughtfully. She's such a nice little woman. But it's what must be expected when people make such ill., assorted marriages. That fine-looking Judge Howard who lives across the street is going to marry a woman who has been diyorced twica and ia not even pretty"
 It's tn way O tn world, mum, es me ould fayther used to say. Luv is