davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-07-30
Shopper Got the Best.

Not all young matrons are so I'M
sophisticated as is the customary Mrs.
Newlywed" of the newspaper funny
man. One striking exception resides
in Harlem.
Entering butcher shop on the eve
of a large house party to be given at
her home, she saw displayed dozen
chickens
Please pick me out a half dozen
chickens that are tough?" she said. 81
have a special reason
The butcher put aside seven.
Are these alp" she added.
Yes, ma'am," was the reply. These
are all tough ones"
Then send the other FIVE to my
house at once" said the young ma
iron.
The butcher is guessing still.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-07-30
How a Cat CAUGHT Two Rats.

/ once had cat who did a rather
remarkable rafting feat. He stalked
two young rats ON the caves of low
fiat stable roof, and caught one in the
usual way. The other jumped on to
an elderberry tree just below Bob
however, not satisfied with the one
grasped it firmly in his mouth, and
then jumped headlong 20, the other
Either he was very lucky or extraordi
narily agile, for he fell to the ground
with one rat still in his mouth and
the other in his paws, and promptly
killed them both.--Scotsman
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-07-30
RECIPE FOR LIFE's HAPPINESS.
Seek to Remember Only Good Points
of Ones Neighbors.

If you would increase your happi-
ness and prolong your life forget your
neighbor's faults. Forget the SANDER
you have heard Forget the tempta-
lions. Forget peculiarities of your
friends, and only remember the good
points which make you fond of them.
Forget all personal quarrels or his
tories YOU may have heard by acct
dent. Blot out as far as possible all
the disagreeables of life; they will
come. but they will grow larger when
you remember them, and the constant
thought of the acts of meanness will
only tend to make you more familiar
with them. Obliterate everything dis.
agreeable from yesterday; start out
with a clean sheet for to-day, and
write on it only lovely things.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-07-30
The Roast.

Mrs. Archbold Saunderson was de-
scribing in New York her big game
hunts in South Africa.
Don't judge woman by her
looks said she. The most ethereal
appearing girl may be able to bring
down. an elephant or lion
ITO judge woman by her looks is
to court error. | know a man who.
while carving at dinner, wished TO
say something that would please the
pale, deep-eyed spirituelle girl at his
side
How do you like Maeterlinck? he
at last inquired.
"'Well done she answered, not
once lifting her eyes from the great
roast he was working on.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-07-30
The Woman Who CANDLES.

Moralists say that the emotion of
gaming makes women ugly. 1t is not
necessary to take the word of the
moralists for that Gaming does not
make women ugly; it unmasks them,
and it is of that that they must be
warned. 1t is natural enough, since
they play passionately, and in playing
thhey forget the world and their faces.
So much the worse for those who do
as Jezebel. Jean Lorrain has left ter
rible pictures of old painted faces the
natural condition of which is revealed
by the excitement of play
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-07-30
CampbelPs Majority Less.

Dallas. Tex. July 27-Last nights
returns from the democratic primary
election held in Texas on Saturday
accounts for less than half of the vote
polled and makes little change in the
returns received on Saturday night.
Governor Campbell's majority over
Williams will be in the neighborhood
Of 25.oo0 Attorney General Davidson
has a lead of $500 over Wynne. but it
will take further returns to deter.
mine the result
The statewide prohibition has a
very narrow lead.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-07-30
A Clean Slate.

A well-known doctor upon reaching
home after two days absence no
ticcd that his slate was perfectly
Clean whereupon he asked the servant
girl, Has nobody called during my
two days absence? | left this slate
out for callers to write their names
on, and it is perfectly clean"
oh. yes. sill" replied the servant,
cheerfully "a lot of folk has come
An the slate got sc full O. names that
only this morning had to rub them
off to make room for mora"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-07-30
Her Fate.

Tess-You'H be all right if you can
only cook. You know, they say the
best way to reach mans heart, is
through his stomach.
Jess (pessimistically)- it will
Just be my luck to reach it with heart
burn or some other phase of dyspep-
STA.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-07-30
Expensive Either Way.

Poor Tom, it cost him terrible lot
to give up his sweetheart"
Then, why did he?"
Because IT would have cost him a
great deal more if he hadn't" BIOS
ton TRANSCRIPT.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-07-30

Kennedys Laxative Cough Syrup
acts gently upon the bowels and thereby
drives the cold out of the system and
at the same time it allays inflammation
and stops irritation. Children like il
Sold by Nick Dofling.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-07-30

Bert Barber of Elton, Wis says: 81
have only taken four doses of your Kid
ney and Bladder Pills and they have.
done for me more than any other medi-
cine has ever done. | am still taking
pills as want perfect cure" Mr..
Barber refers to DeWitt's Kidney and
Bladder Pills. Sold by Nick Doffing.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
A Careful Man.
From Harper's weekly.

rEONl HARPER y "eehly. a.e
When Dawson reached town the 9TH
er day he a suddenly seized with a
terrific toothache, and he repaired at
once to a dentist. Investigation showed
that the tooth was in such q con-
dition that the only way to extract
1t comfortably was to put the sufferer
under the influence of gas. Conse-
quently Dawson threw himself back in
the chair and the tube was applied.
He did not succumb any too readily,
but in the course Of time he was sleep
ing peacefully, and the offending molar
was removed.
How much doctor?" asked the pa
tient after the, ordeal was over.
e Ten dollars" said the dentist. busi-
ness being dull.
Ten dollars!" roared Dawson.
Yes, sir" said the dentist. 1T was
an unusually hard job getting that
tooth out, and you required twice the
ordinary amount of gas
"Humph!" calculated Dawson, as he
paid up. Here's your money, but / tell
you right now the text time / take
gas from you you've got to put a meter
on me-"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
Got .squars With the Judge.

N1En# From the Atlanta Georgian.
A raw mountaineer got back at Judge
Nose Wright OF the Roma circuit in a
very clever way. While h judge was
presiding over the Chattooga superior
court he had occasion to plaster a SIS
fine on this nan because he failed to
appear in time as a witness in a case.
'Say, jedge, hain't that purity steep?'
mildly inquired the Chattoogan.
Y mo" was the reply. You knew you
mere an important witness in this case
and ought to have been here. I will
suspend. payment, however, and hold 1T
over you to see that there is no like
trouble In the future"
{. Later Judge Wright was spending a
few weeks. at MeRIps a popular summer
resort in Chattooga county, several
miles from. a railroad. HE had a pack
age to como out from Summerville and
the big iiiountafneer happened to de-
liver IT..
well; what do I owe you?" asked
the judge genially, reaching for his
change pocket. o..
wall, jedge, I reckon about SIS
would square u.s. was the calm reply.
"What?" yelled Judge Wright. stag
Rering back. "t. .-nE.
'Mebbe you won't be so dern keer-
less next time bout lea vim yo' pack
ages" was the imperturbable answer.
Look here" whispered the perturbed
jurist, tn just remit that SIS fine I
put on you down in Summerville."
Gid ap. Beck. That bout squares
us, jedge." a. u ~ y. .
It's true all right, because Judge
Wright tells 1t on himself.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
MOTHER N CHILD.

Both Fully NouriShed on G~rape-Nuts.
The value OF this famous food is
shown in many ways, in addition to
what might be expected from its chemt.
cal analysis.
Grape-Nuts food is made OF whole
wheat and barley, is thoroughly baked
for many hours and contains all the
wholesome ingredients in these cereals.
1t contains also the phosphate of pot
ash grown In the grains, which Nature
uses to build up brain and nerve cells.
Young children require. proportion
ately more of this element because the
brain and nervous system of the child
grows so rapidly. u.:''.,
A Va. mother found the value o;
Grape-Nuts in not only building up her
own strength but in nourishing her
baby at the same time. She writes:
After my baby came l did not re-
over health and strength, and the doc
tor said / could not nurse the baby as
/ did not have nourisfment for her,
besides I was too weak.
He said / might try "a change of
diet and see what that would do, and
recommended .Grape-Nuts food. I
bought a pkg. and used it regularly.
A marked change came over both baby
and /. ;.
"My baby, is now four months old,
is in fine condition, l am nursing her
and doing all my work and never felt
better In my life" There's a Rea,
SON.
Name given by Postum Co, Battle
Greek, Mich Read "The Road to Well
ville,r IN pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A new
n appears from time to time. They
r genuine, true. and full Of human
interest.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
Conniption Fit.

From the New York Press.
when George told Anna that she must
decide, between Sagan n the half Of
her fortune the poor little woman (who
has had a great deal more thar her share
of trouble), didn't fall into a conniption
fit. as most of us would have done, but
simply stamped her foot and used a small
French cuss word, about the equivalent
Of plague TAX It," This sage remark
fell from the lips of a luxurious matron
riding in a pay-as-you-enter car. Her free
and easy and her rather care
less loudness of voice indicated the part
OF the country from which she came. As
she left. he car at Seventy-fourth street
passengers who had heard her were ask
ing each other-"What is q conniption
ft?" ..
When a woman throws a conniption
ft' she Is in her tantrums. A tantrum
is a fit OF passion or ar attack of petu-
liant hysteria. ConnIption is sometimes
used alone anc has about the same mean
ing as conniption NJ. Occasionally Tin
Maine) It Is connuption. The word was
bred in New England, and is about as
old as Rhode Island. 1t Is common enough
today wherever the descendants of the
Down casters are settled. Conniption At
is a term used exclusively by m To
connip Is to laugh violently.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10

Many people come into the world with
moles on some part Of their body. Scien-
lists declare that these marks are signil-
cant for good or evil. Here are the de-
lineations:
A mole on the forehead shows ambition,
wisdom and ability In the management Of
affairs.
A mole on the right. cheek shows the
person Is greatly beloved and will acquire
riches and honor
A mole on the right eye, a dullness OF
understanding: on the left, quickness OF
perception.
A mole on the neck shows q man pru-
dent in his actions; on a woman, shows
weakness in judgment and ready to be-
lieve the worst Of her husband.
A mole on the shoulder denote labor
and poverty.
A mole on the breast shows affection,
strength, courage and resolution.
A mole on the back shows a person to
be much given to lying In bed.
, A mole on the leg much given to walk
ing and fond of visiting distant parts.
A mole on the foot denotes a naughty
disposition.
A mole on the back Of the hand a pro-
pensity for other mep's goods.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
READING the Signals.

Newcomers to New York by steam
ship begin to learn things about the
city as soon as their vessel gets headed
up the harbor. There was a party Of
such on board an incoming vessel re-
Gently.
From the roof Of a high down town
office building they saw what appeared
to be a string of signal flags Tapping in
the breeze. Some We're white, some
were striped, and n big n was a
flaming red.
IF we only knew the code we could
tell what they mean" said a member
OF the party. Perhaps they indicate
what channel we are to take up the
river"
'Or maybe they are weather warn
ings OF some kind" guessed another.
Lots ask n of the officers to find
out" .
They did. The officer looked first
with the naked eye and then with his
glassc~,
That's the janItor's family wash
hur,S out on the roof to dry" he an
nounced, brutally, as he finished his
survey. THE big red n is a table,
cloth"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
According to History.
From Harper's Weekly.

A INT In a western city, who be-
longs to a community called the Sis
ters OF st. John the Baptist" not Ions
g spent a month in a backwoods
district.
Shortly after her arrival she welt
to the local postoffice and inquired
II any letters nae come for Sister
Be~rnardine. The rural postmaster
looked bewildered.
Sister who? ?" he asked, incredulous-
ly. .'- d"
Sister Bernardine," repeated the
lady. "A sister of st. John the Bap-
list" III ~ ... .
II think not" he answered dubious
ly. Then, after some reflection, he
added: t.
Say. amt he been dead pretty near
100 years now?"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10

This is the story Of a h~ousekeeper
who had rather a small stock Of pa
Hence. She went into her kitchen one
lay to direct the preparation of din
ner. She found George, her Japanese
sock, porting over a book. What are
you reading? % she asked. "Schopen-
aauer," George replied. do you think
Eou can understand such philosophy
The mistress inquired. Yes, honorable
madam. 1 understand it; l apply 1t.
When you come to tell me how to cook,
It Is good to remember what the white
man saws about women. | read here,
Their / not mind what you say"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
A Convenient 'Possum.

From the Atlanta Constitution.
An old negro preacher gave as MS
text-"De tree is known by his fruit,
an hit des impossible ter shake de pos
sum down"
After the benedictlon an old brother
said to him! , , .-...
II never knowed befo' dat such a text
wuz in de bible" ..:
WELL admitted the preacher. hit
amt 'xactly sot down dataway.' l
th'owed in de 'possum ter hit de intelli-
gence er my congregation"
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10

ago l suffered mis-
ery with lumbago.
Every movement was
one of pain. Doan's
Kidney Pills remov.
ed the whole Difficult
ty after only a short
time. Although | do
not like to have my
name used publicly,
I make an exception
in this case, so that
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
What He Thought.

The Quietly Dressed Man-No, sir; l
never take advantage of anybody who
is not ready to take advantage OF some
one else.
The Loud Dressed Man-Shake; I'm a
tbunco steerer myself.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
His Business.

Stranger-Tve lived a very fast life
for the past 10 years,
Preacher-Why don't you give 1t up
and reform?'
Stranger-Reform nothing; I'm a
railroad engineer.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
Very Desirable.
On red-hot summer days
What comfort IL would be

OH IEU-HUI oUIIIIIICI Udyb
What comfort 1t would be
To have at hand always
An Educated Tree
no follow US around the town, no matter
where we strayed,
And furnish us with shade.
And II IL were a lemon tree, with lemon
adei
John Kendrick Bangs. In Herper's
Weekly.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
In Far-Off Egypt.

The Sphinx, when appealed to. just
laughed
And said, You're not lacking In Craft
You van me to tell
Who'll succeed Teddy? Well
Then she mentioned a name. Was It Taftf
But there! there's no use of your tryin'
To pump the INSTRUMENTATION.
i don't feel hat I can .
Reveal who'll be the man.
So I'll leave you to guess. Was 1t Bryant
--Lippincott's.t
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10

other sufferers from kidney troubl
may profit by my experience"
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents a boz
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10

When New York city's Catskin aque-
Iiuct is completed the city will have
water enough for a population of 1000
300. without any cause for anxiety.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
a Mild Einiah-

Dinks.-Do you think that March
will go out like a lior2
Winks.-Yes; like an old toothless
lion OF the circus variety.
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10

txrS. wLnsiow's SOOTHING eTRUt tor Childrsn
faothina; gofteps the gums, reuuces A.
lays pain. cures wind cole. ~ cent \ BOTTLE
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10
A x

Speaks Out for the BeReht OF suffer
ing Thousands.
Rev. G. NJ. Gray, Baptist clergyman,
Of Whitesboro, Tex, says -Four years
The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-09-10

Turkey imported and used last year
5,365,760 pounds of ordinary soap and
51,13o pounds OF toilet soap.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-02-18
SUBSCRIBE FOR THE EXPRESS
Queen of the Washita. .

Chiekasha's population is l25O0
Chickashas altitude is 1l00 feet above the sealeyel
Chickasha is the gateway to the Southwest
Chiekasha the great cotton of the New Southwest
Chickasha is the railroad center Of the Southwest.
with any point in the Southwest IN cheap power.
Chickasha has splendid system Of public schools.
Chkash has fine church eces than any other city Of
its size IN the Southwest, and others building.
Chickasha has Carnegie library
Chickasha has many blocks of and brick business
Chicasha has the finest bank buildings in this wesra country
has one Of the best water works and Stems
Chiclashs has great electric light and power system
Chickasha has the finest gas plant in the Southwest
Chiekasha has the largest cotton congresses
chiokasha has two Of the largest cotton seed oil mills in
Oklahoma the plants being among the largest in the word
Shickasha has three large cotton gins
Chiekasha has the only cotton oil refinery in the
Chlekaha has the largest Touring mills and elevators in state
Southwest
chekasha has thrtyree wholesale, manufacturing
Chcasha extensive railroad machine shops giving en-
ployment to near one thousand persons
Chekasha is a federal court city
Chkasha has city mail delivery and several rural routes
chckasha has handsomely paved streets
Chekasha has many miles Of concrete sidewalks
Chckasha has abundance Of good water
Chekasha is heahfu city death being lowest in
Chckasha has advantage that other cities IN the South
Chckashas location happily in a climate that is as near
perfect as can be found anyherecaOrna not exepedhe
winters being short and mild; the pleasant
Chickasha has two large steam landres
Chckasha has telephone system which has sixteen miles
Of cable and has two long distance telephone systems
Chiekasha holds out better inducements legitimate industrial
enterprises than any other city in the state
Chiekashas railroads the Rock Island the Frisco the
Oklahoma Central the Santa Fe and three Rock Island branches
Grady county the natural home Of three great American crops
wheat and cotton.
Grady county is the fines agricultural stock, fruit and truck
growing country earth
Grady county particularly favored in its climatic provisions
in that rule the farmer plow the entire winter
Grady county also favored n It's abundance Of water and
sufficient rainfall
Chickaha the best town in the best county in the best
state n the best country the face Of the earth
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-02-18
sPRAcTICALi
LiDe Stock Auctioneer

&rtSs aA<tOCR AdCEfOHeeF
If you are thinking Of making a
sale and expect to get what your
stock or goods are worth, It will
pay you to get an auctioneer who
knews whatever he is selling Is
Wcrth, for the time Is here and
win be for time to come. To get
what your stock is worth a man
must be qualified to sell and no
auchoneer who does not have the
P aetice and keeps posted, can't
get you the ICES you are entitled
70. Watch the sale bills ont over
the country and you will see who
Is doing The selling.
Have had IS years Of successful
selling and my references are ali
who / sell tor. Write nowfor open
dates or phone at my expense No.
40. Sell every Saturday on the
street For If I make your sale we
both make money.
f. ]. HUBBARD, Box oos.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-02-18

We give each article we buy special
attention, for we know quality
counts.
We have just received a shipment
Of the finest Dates that were ever
ON the market. also a large box Of
Mammoth Figs.
Eat Dates and Figs, better than
medicine for the system.
II yon want something fine In ma
pie syrup we have the pure article
Monarch Brand. Try a can in your
next order. We also have just re-
ceived a shipment Of Ralston Buck
Wheat flour.
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-02-18
TignorI& ash


FOR SALE OR TRADE-r2o
acres, 60 acres under cultivation.
spring, ten miles Of Chickasha, 1
miles Of station. Price s., 700.
FOR SALE OR TRADE-6o
acres, two miles of Chickasha.
FOR SALE LOO acres in Ben
ton county, Arkansas, three miles
ef station, house. barn, small or
ahard. 90 acres good farm land,
balance good hard wood timber.
Price SIT an acre.
FOR SALE-IIo acres-Ioo Al
bottom, 90 acres lease paid up for
four years. All for $4,000.
Msnsy % loan On farm
and city property
JONAS COOK, Real Estate,
cHIcKASHA, OKLA.
= OFFICE JOHNSON BUILDING
The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-02-18

penm or II lot.
tie Howard had
been otherwise
than remarkably
pretty even for a
l6year old. or had
not possessed such
q downright unso-
phisticated soul.
It is likely the sit
uation never would
have evolved.
However. as it
happened, Amble-
by, who had been
calling freouenflv
Of late upon Lot.
ties sister Fran.
ces, aged %, sud-
denly had It borne
in upon him that
in endeavorlng to
make good with
the older sister he
had fatally en-.
shared the tender |
affections Of the |
younger. He could
not think other
wise-being Am.
bleby-when he
observed how Lot.
tie always hung
about when he
was near. Looking
up, ne would eaten
her great eyes
fixed on him in
devouring atten.
ton many times
In an evening. She
did not appear en-.
barrassed when
caught. Indeed,
The evening world., 1908-12-23
Freedom of the Press.

In reference to the freedom of the
press the court declared that the Con-
stitution nowhere conferred the right
to speak to print or 10 publish.
1t guarantees said he, only that
in so far as the Federal government is
concerned its congress shall not abridge
il and leaves the subject to the regula-
ton of the several States where 1t he
longs Who can he persuaded?' asked
the Court, continuing, that the penal
iziug of false and malicious libels upon
the integrity of honorable men. or
ISLANDERS upon the virtue of chaste
women, is an outrage upon the con-
stitutional rights of the villifier?'
The Court inquired if those of
thoughtful and sincere reflection escape
the unharmony between claims for
right of utter license in speech and