The Greenville journal. [volume] (Greenville, Ohio) 1850-1918, 1908-03-26

Won't that make me ruler of Tanker's
Mills? We'd be so cut off from inter-
ference that probably we could run
this place as monarchy all summer.
And do you know, I've always hank
cred to wear the purple
"'Not for a gold mine,' l objected,
now fearing that his dreams of empire
would cause him to cut up. For
knew that he would just like to sway
the scepter over Tanker's Mills,
despite the fact that despotism with
in the United States is incongruous.
I'm going to pause long enough to
devour that pump interrupted the
drummer, now walking like drunken
man.
I'VE were entering the village at the
time, and only Corn Hairs promise to
assassinate him held him to the path.
Then, whom should we meet, practical
ly unattended, but King James him
self. Out on thee, arrant knave!' he
cried, on beholding Monmouth. 'Ho,
warden no men at arms! Hither, l
command thee!
mot on your life!' howled the
drummer coming to his senses and
clapping his soft hat over his majes-
tvs mouth.
"'Hold him. cried Tib, in a low
voice, applying his handkerchief to
the august arms and thus reversing
history. Now, march him quietly to
the town hall
"'Say, fellers, don't ye dare hurt
Freeman Hucky,' warned one of the
guards, as with poor grace they al
lowed us to drag the old man along.
Several of them also melted gay feel
ings by producing coarse-looking jack
knives.
"'No harm shall befall a single
whisker in his venerable beard, gentle
sirs,' vouchsafed Tib, straining his
eyes to catch glimpse of the much
prayed-for bikes.
"Our insurgents then burst into a
song of abuse and threw down their
cartel of defiance, and said they were
tired of fat old Monmouth and that
they would change allegiance and aid
King James followers in executing us
on the now-finished gibbet. BY this
time we were close to the little hall,
and in the bright moonlight could ad-
mire every detail Of the clumsy yet
businesslike-looking gallows. What
added to our fear was the sound of
shouting in the hall, where, through
the lighted windows, we beheld mot
ley group of scamps dancing and wav-
ing homemade weapons. But just
then, like a beacon-light to the hope.
less mariner, we caught the friendly
twinkle of our bikes frames, and with
one accord we pushed the king against
the deserters and, as they tumbled
and romped on the ground, We bent
our hot footsteps towards the goal.
in a second, it seemed, the hall
had disgorged more enemies, and the
whole pack were after us as We gained
our perambulators and tried to hop the
saddles
Where do l come in, Monmouth? 2
howled the drummer.
Lord, if we haven't forgotten the
spy!' cried Tib. Here, Silver, jump
up behind me. Nay, choke me not en-,
tirely with thy caresses. Now. hang
tight and steal away
And down the steep hill into the
black shadows we sped, with a fren.
zied mob of King James men in fear
some pursuit. When we reached the
level and began climbing the next hill
they all but had us. But just as they
would have gathered us to their bosom
we reached the crest and slid from
view. And the way the drummer clung
to Tib would cause the champion trick
cyclist to blush for inability
"And so we left them in all their
glory and made Beanville in safety
And what do you think, sir! When
we'd lodged complaint, and posse of
constables had gone over to Tanker's
to straighten out the general brain
tangle, they found no trace of the
King James germ. But instead old
Freeman Hucky was in the midst OF
the belief that he was an algebraic
equation that would never be solved
if he kept perfectly quiet. And as he
didn't wish to be solved, Tanker's was
the most peaceful place on the map
and, so far as l know, has never met
with royalty since the time Tib and