Los Angeles herald., 1908-01-26
Los Angeles Newspaper Man, Dining
with Cosmopolitan Crowd In Main
Street Lunch Room, Learns
New Language
BY t. SHELLEY SUTTON

Twice wild de Spokane! Draw a
pair-wid two sugar-coated sinkers and
a goosberry! Swine and frijoles comm
up! Peach two on a piece o. tanned
punk, fry two over! Three bucks and
a couple o. hots! Comm up!-jest a
minute Bill"
To the uninitiated it might sound
like a vaudeville stage-manager giving
directions to a gang of scene-shifters;
or a foreign stevedore doing verbal
10 o5Lso snoeueSoIel9u u1IM slunls
multi-port consignments, but literally
translated 1t would be found to consist
of a bunch of breakfast orders shrilled
out by strong-arm hash-slinger in a
well-known First street restaurant"
or, rather eating trough Of the five
and-ten-cent variety.
1t was IL o'clock, the busiest hour Of
the twenty-four, except noon, as the
reporter, curiously inclined, ventured
the wall and passed down the long
line of hungry-looking patrons who
were either waiting for chance to re-
plenish their abdominal vacuums or
were raVenously getting on the OUT
side of whatever their financial strin-
gencies would afford.
The reporter took a seat between a
couple of curious looking individuals
who might have been either Greeks or
Portuguese. Near him sat a very vain
appearing Jap, who seemed to be en-
deavoring to inculcate a new code OF
table ethics into those around him. He
was the only one in the two long rows
(excepting the reporter, by chance)
who happened to have a white collar;
and, as he deity dug into the adman-
tine gristles of an alleged steak, his
hands gave no indication of fear or
uneasiness.
Mexicans "at Home"
Across from him sat a couple of Mex
leans of the so-called "cholo" type, who
did not permit themselves to be re-
strained by any "stultifying" rules of
etiquette, and who, therefore, were
gluttonously going after pair of
planners in what was manlfestly
race of jawbones promising to come
out a tie.
Beside the MeXicans sat an Italian
peanut yender, industriously chomping
a cold storage egg of the azoic age,
and next to him blind street corner
fiddler giving a Herculean performance
with a piece of rib steak-undoubtedl
donated by some benevolent archaeolo-
gist as a souvenir of the iron age.
After a long tussle the blind fiddler
evidently concluded his waiter had
been taking advantage of his blindness
by substituting a piece of rawhide Tor
a "ribber." Pantingly, he commanded
of the waiter that the invincible object
on the platter be exchanged for some-
thing possessing fewer qualities Of re-
sistance. This the waiter complied
with, reluctantly, and turned his at
tention to a couple of hoboes, kicking
at the small quantity of "mulligan," or
stew, dished up to them.
AS the reporter sat down, a raw
boned waiter of the Bowery type reeled
off a lengthy spiel in direction of the
"chef," who was wiping his foreneao
with a dishrag. Then he turned to the
reporter with quick Come trough
wild yer order, Bill; ives gettin'
stumped here. Dere's two o. der best
walters on a jag, so it's up to me to
hold down desc twenty stools. what
cher eatln?"
The reporter meekly replied that he
would tackle a pork chop and some
toast"
"Once, the fried hog, wild a side o
tanned punk!'' he yelled out my order.
Inc COOK, ldhliS u SihSW ~ NOS~-~O'
replied sonorously:
"On the fire!"
Cashier Explains 1t
"Say," the reporter ventured to the
cashier, as he paid his check, what
the deuce does twice with Spokane
mean?"
"Sure," said the cashier, settling
back in his chair with the air Of SUI
preme judge, don't you know what
that means? Huh, that means two
orders of pork and beans.
"Well what does draw pair with
two sugar-coated sinkers and goose
berry refer tor"
THAT means two cups of coffee, TWO
sugared doughnuts and slice of goose
berry pie"
"Ahl' exclaimed the reporter. Then