davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12
E.tina Before SIeen.

"Is it safe to eat before going to
sleepw asks Sibyl.
"Oh, yes, much safer than eating
afterward, we should say! 1t is so
hard to see what you are eating when
you are asleep, you know."-Path-
finder.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12

whenever she asks me to do any
thing" soliloquized Mr.. Meeker pen
sively, II always go and do it. like a
fool"
eyes," said Mrs. Meeker, who hap
pened along in time to overhear him.
Whenever I ask you to do anything
you always go and do it like fool."-
Chicago Tribune.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12
Why They Doubted Him.

Hewitt-Figures won't lie. Jewett-
That's what tell the people meet in
business, but they won't believe me.
Hewitt-What is your business? Jew
ett-pm collector for gas company
Town and Country.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12
An Ideal Husband.

The Man-And you really think you
have an ideal husband, don't you? The
Matron-I know I have. Why, he
treats me as If he were candidate for
Office and I was a Chicago
News.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12
Tho Baby Helped.

Jones-Yes; our household now rep
resents the United Kingdom. Smith
How's that? Jones-Why, you see, l
am English, my wife is Irish, the
nurse is Scotch, and the baby walls
London Express.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12
Economy BEGINS at Home.

Il hear you're teaching your son to
play draw poker. Do you think that
wise?'
Certainly. He's bound to learn from
some one. If he learns from me It
keeps the money In the family."-New
York Life.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12
Quite Unexpected.

The Mistress Suzanne, going
to leave me? Going to get married? :?
This is most unexpected. The French
Maid-Oui, madame, but eet ees not my
fault. Eet was only last night zat
your son proposed to me.-Harper's
Bazar.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12
He want.

Mr.. Lingerlong-I had queer adven-
ture this afternoon. Miss de Muir
with a swift glance at the clock)-You
mean yesterday afternoon, presume.
Exchange.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12

'Do you believe that man and wo
man should have equal rights?
well, used to, but since I've beer
married don't dare to say So
Cleveland Leader.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12

In Germany all workmen, servants
and clerks above Is and getting less
than $500 q year are Obliged by law TO
insure against old age.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12

About the poorest kind Of reputa-
ton is the kind man gets for being
sarcastic. Chicago Record Herald.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12

NEW SHOPS, new tools and better facilities for
quick and good work Special attention given to
repairing in all its branches.
We have new Rubber Tire Machine and can
put on rubber tires at very short notice at our
year and Diamond, all high grade tires. Aliorders
promptly filled and work of every kind warranted,
We have on hand q complete stock Of HARNESS
and WHIPS OF all kinds. for light and heavy driv-
ing, at prices that defy competition. Come and
see our stock of Vehicles and Harness before Dur.
chasing. We can save you money.
JOHN E. ECKENRODE & SON,
Cor. Liberty and George SITS,
may ~ Westminster, Md.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12

FnO not delay the purchase of Coal,
lit will advance in price. See Smith
& Reifsnider.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12

A landlord can always raise the rent.
That is more than many Of his tenants
can do.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12
wh.t He Wa. [ ookina For.

II do wish, Edward" said the lady
Of his choice, "that you wouldn't stare
at other women so much. It's very
rude and is certainly no compliment to
me-"
"On the contrary, my DEAR" replied
the resourceful benedict, II was look
ing to see if could find a pretder
face than yours, and confess l really
cannot."-New York Press.
The Democratic advocate., 1908-06-12

]. E. Myers will be in New Windsor
all the time except the first Friday and
Saturday of each month ,on which days
he will be in Westminster.
J. s.. Myers will be in Taneytown the
first Friday and Saturday of each
month.
w. M. and c. & P. Telephones.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28
HUAOR or THE DAY

Knicker-what's the matter with Jones?
Bocker-He wants the government to
get after women who coax their husbands
to teach them poker.-New York Sun.
Few men who get into deep water can
remember that much depends on keeping
He-what'n ye have. Mirandy?
Shell reckon you'd better order, Jabez.
amt much good at mental 'rithmetic.-
Circle Magazine.
Waiter (who has just served up some
soup)-Looks uncommonly like rain, sir.
/. Diner-Yes, by Jove, and tastes like 1t.
too! Bring me some thick soup.-London
Tatler
Anxious Mother-Oh, Professor. don't
you think my dear little Reginald will
Prof crayonNNo. madam; not unless
you harness him up to q truck.-Comio
Cuts.
Della--Ye can get a suit just like your
missis' velvet wan for tin dollars in Bar
Norah~Yes an I can get wan fur nuth-
in, by telling me missis about the wan in
Bargain Brown Bros.-Harper's Weekly.
Dyer-would you like to begin life over
Ryer-No I'm deep enough in debt now.
''He always patronizes that one restau-
rant"
who? Stfngy?"
Yes. there are Mattresses there, you
know"
ssBut he doesn't care for the girls
mo, but you don't have to tip gir1s."-
Catholic Standard.
Lady-Have you seen my new book yet?
Other Lady-We1l, no; haven't read It
myself but my cook tells me it's rippin'.-
The Sketch.
"Great Presence of Mind. But No Deli
cacy"-A. s. c. Corporal Cat soldiers
dance)-Wil you have a drink, sir?
Major-Thanks very much, Corporal.
but think I've had enough.
Corporal-Don't say that, sir. One more
drink won't make you any worse than
YOU are already!LPunch +t.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28

the enforcement of law and order.
The members of the class OF Journal
ism at the State university had
charge of the publication of Satur-
days issue of the Lawrence Journal.
The feature story published by the
students was a list of the Joints in
the city selling liquor in violation of
the law. There was an even dozen of
them and the names Of the owners of
the buildings in which these "joints"
were located were also given. 1t
turned out that the police Judge of
the city was the owner Of one of these
places. The student edition of the
Journal was easily the newspaper sem
sation in Lawrence for years. The
college boys pulled off a scoop" that
has made everyone in the town sit up
and take notice.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28


automobile forces a solution Of the
problem it will confer an unforeseen
blessing on mankind. and one OF the
greatest imaginable. A dust-proof
thoroughfare IL desideratum indeed.
Experiments to that end are now
progressing In various parts of the
world, and some palliatives for the
present troubles have been found, but
no real remedy. That may come before
the Paris congress or subsequently and
in consequence of 1t. Automobiles
should especially desire that it be
found soon, for in the meantime. as
their cars are doing SO much damage
to costly construction of roads to say
nothing of causing a general dust nuis-
ance, they must expect to be called
upon to pay a large part Of the BILL
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28
KANSAS C0AAENT
IS MEAT REALLY SCARCE.

Is MEAT REALLY SCARCE.
Inc packing house interests must
to insist that all this talk about the
necessity Tor higher prices of meat
snal! De taken with a considerable
plnch OF salt. The figures OF stocks of
meat at hve principal markets in the
interior presented by the Wall Street
Journal show that there was a larger
quantity on hand at these markets on
July.
The time of greatest scarcity of
vember. 1907. when 159, 9,4eo,277 pounds
were held at Chicago, Milwaukee and
the three Missouri river packing house
centers. Three months later, on Feb
ruary l, 1908, the quantity of meat had
more than doubled as is shown by the
ngures OF stocks of 322, TAO, ga pounds,
oHcially reported as being on hand at
that date.
There has not been a time, in the
last half year at least, in which the
western meat packing centers had SO
much stuff on hand as in the late win
ter OF the current year. Whether this
mas been disposed of to such an extent
as to make advances in prices neces-
sary Is Questionable from the stand
point OF actual supply. At any rate,
year ago there was nearly 100 900. 900
pounds less on hand at these places
and about 80 900 pounds less the year
before. Then, too, the demand was
vastly greater in those booming times.
Ihe plea for advancing prices is u.s.
ually based upon scarcity of live stock.
But the receipts to the first of March
do not show any noteworthy decline.
At seven markets in the interior 1885,
94l cars OF stock were received for the
two months ending with February,
compared with 132, ,226 cars in 1907, and
1902 cars in 1906. Furthermore, dur
ing these months in 1908 over 10000. .000
head OF live stock were received at Ia
markets, compared with $3.50. 200 head
in 1907, and $4,000 head in 1906. A
gain of Ia per cent or 1,240,000 head OF
all kinds OF stock Is nevertheless ac-
companied by an upward turn of meat
prices.
Whatever the cause may be. it is not
due to the lack of numbers nor to any
| undue decrease in reserve meat stocks
The only apparent justification Is to be
found In the claim that suddenly the
country has come to the iumping-ofi
place in prompt supplies of available
| sumes that meanwhile the western
farmer has been asleep.-Leavenworth
Times. sa
WASTING PUBLIC MONEY.
A Kansas City judge wanted to be
Sunday theaters. The fight lasted sew
eral months, the people paying the
costs. Two thousand indictments
| brought against the theater people
| about convinced that his political
scheme was not a popular one. But
the costs must be paid by the people.
All this money wasted to oblige poll
| tician who wanted to be governor!
And the money paid as taxes by the
people: how hard it comes! The Kan
sas City judge was guilty Of heart
less, conceited action. but the people
must stand it: the people must stand
for innumerable outrages. Think of
the millions of public money wasted
in the same foolish way!-Atchison
| Globe.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
IFrom the Chicago News.

(From the Chicago News.l
Men who pretend to understand wo-
men are only pretenders.
Water on the brain is seldom due
to a thirst for knowledge.
Nature must love joke-Judgfng
from the funny people we meet.
It isn't pleasant to fall in with peo-
ple who are always falling out.
Some men couldn't keep their prom
ises even In cold storage plant.
Most of our joys as well as most of
our sorrows are due to Ignorance.
1t takes more than a pet name to
pacify a woman when she's In pet.
ANYWAY the obese female who has
outgrown the corset habit looks COM
Portable.
It is said to be unlucky for any one
to put up an umbrella in room-ex-
cept an auctioneer.
The wife of a professional baseball
player doesn't seem to mind the fact
that he is a base deceiver.
Any man who Is smart enough to
make a political leader is capable OF
earning an honest living If he wants
to.
When a man keeps bottle OF whisky
in the sideboard drawer his wife be-
gins to refer to it as their wine closet
It's easy for the defeated candidate
who was promised the support OF his
friends to believe King David was
right when he said All men are ners."
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28
.AYHAWKER JOTS

George Pullman, Of La Cygne. Is
carrying his knee in a valise. A gen.
tie family horse reached for him and
got him.
J. L. Brady, of the Lawrence Jour-
nal, complains that while the women
Of that town are going to church, the
men are going to Jail.
A township In Mcpherson county
has made full tax returns and the re-
suit is a gain of seven-fold. That
means less than per cent tax rate.
A. o. Leamon has sold the Hazelton
Herald to Prof c. A. Hyatt, who will
edit the paper after May 1st. Mr.. Lea
mon finds that his drug business re-
quires his entire attention.
Deterioration is looked for in the Hol-
ton newspapers this summer. The edi-
tor Of one of them has a new five acre
farm and the other has baby, a flow
er garden and a young thoroughbred
collie pup to take up his time.
A man at Winfield was recently ar
rested on a charge Of brutal cruelty to
animals, and was convicted in the
court Of a justice Of the peace. Among
others who were disgusted with him
was his wife, who has sued for divorce.
The Belle Plaine News says that Miss
HilPs room contains boxes filled with
growing beans, peas, corn, pumpkins,
etc, and the children are watching de-
velopments. A tadpole In a glass Jar
is showing the pupils how to become a
frog.
One difference between New York
and Kansas is this: A New York miss
of eleven years is supposed to be able
to order a most appetizing meal from
the menu of any Of the great metropol-
itan hotels; a Kansas miss OF the same
age frequently can prepare a meal that
for real merit surpasses the one the
New York girl would order.-Parsons
Sun.
Mrs. Nettie Tuxhorn of Mcpherson
has brought suit for divorce from her
husband, Charles Tuxhorn, who dis
appeared about three years ago, after
killing his boys. It Is thought Tux
horn was burned in a house to which
he set fire, but the divorce suit shows
that his wife does not intend to take
any chances of his returning and
claiming to be her husband.
Miss May Randall. Of Garnett. has
SO much luck that she ought to run fol
governor. The other day she took the
middle of the street while going to the
depot, and when she arrived there she
found that she had lost her pocketbook
which contained $50. She hotfooted II
back over the route she had travelled
and found her wallet. A dozen wagons
had run over 1t, but the long green was
all there.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28

[From the Philadelphia Record1
The naked truth is naturally a cold
fact.
1t isn't the lightweight that rises to
the top.
Love Is blind, but not so blind that
it can't see q dollar mark.
The faro dealer. as well as the un-
dertaker, should know all about lay
outs.
The buster man is the less time
he has to think about being over
worked.
pessimist is a person who seems
to get q lot OF fun out OF being mis-
cradle.
On the sea Of matrimony man
must be stern to manage a woman
who Is forward.
Many a speech would be better II.
like some letters. 1t were delayed in
the delivery.
Some people are so used to being
cast in the shade that II they weren't
they would suffer from sunstroke
Even although 1t IL the unexpected
that always happens there is always
someone to say: II told you So"
Blobbs-"I suppose when you were
in Rome you did as the Romans do"
slobbs-"Not exactly: was done as
the Romans do you"
Polly Pinktights-"Do you th,n,
marriage pays?" Fanny Footlights-
Sure 1t does; I'm COLLECTING aIimonv
from dve husbands
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28

Please. be serious. Elsie
ST am. perfectly. For two year.
I've been teaching In . district scnooi
I'm the name OF heaven. why Z" ds-
manded Gilbert.
But Elsie would not let her hand
be forced. She must know nrst now
the game was to end
1T Is my turn to ask Quesuon.
she said. You have succeeded mere
wonderfully. haven't you. Gilbert
AS he looked down at her his
smile had so much pride and patnos
in it that Elsie longed to throw her
arms about him and to tell him tha1
she knew-she understood.
pretty WELL" he admitted. "for .
perverted young lawyer"
Don't" begged Elsie II CANT
bear to hear you speak IKE that ;...
why, bless your sympathetic htf1e
heart" exclaimed Gilbert. noticing
the tears in her eyes. I've no Eiek
coming over the law business. Am
I not a healthy brute again? Whae
else counts beside that7"
as Gilbert spoke these words sent the
color flying to her cheeks. That Gill
bert might not observe her ag1tations
she jumped up and pretended to Do
training vagrant honeysuckie vine
"But II you are really well again:
you'll go back to the law, won't you! z!
Perhaps, some time" answered
Gilbert thoughtfully. He was pacing
up and down the porch now. You
see, I've been out of 1t all now Tor
over two years, and It would take
some time to get into the running
again. Down here. I'm making my
way far better than hoped. I think
there's q big chance for success. And
I'm well here-gloriously well" He
stopped speaking q moment, then
added, looking wistfully into the 1T
tie home and lowering his voice. The
hardest thing is having my sister 80
back. She's to be married this RAIL-
you know. She's been fbrick."
| Emotion checked his further
speech. -.s
The next moment. with a little
broken sob, Elsie was in his arms.
and the lovers gave themselves up to
| the ecstasy of their emotions.
! Suddenly Gilbert held her at arms
length from him, nearly crushing her
slender hands in the agony of his re-
nunciation.
"No, Elsie," he said hoarsely. II
cannot will not let you. have no
right. It would be asking you to sac
rifice too much for me. You would
die of ennui down here"
But Elsie's eyes were shining, her
face was radiant with happiness.
"You forget, DEAR" she said gently.
l "that I've made 1t my country. too
that I have no sacrifice to make. You
are my all. Besides she added ro-
guishly, "it's leap year, and you've
no right to refuse me, Gilbert. -
copyrighted 1908 by Associated Lit
erary Prese.)
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The word "obey' in the marriage
service is like the Joker in a deck Of
cards. Most people pay little attention
to it..
\
They're making serviceable and ex-
pensive umbrellas to look awfully cheap
and common so that no one will steal
them.
X 4 4
Mining stock certificates are excellent
diplomas to the effect that one has at
least been through the school of exper-
ience.
= y
Amateur gardeners would have done
well this year to have passed the vege-
table truck by and planted milkweeds:
Then they might have been certain or
at least raising some ice cream.
\ 4
You'll often hear a girl say that she
has no use for a man who wears wig
and then she'll think nothing Of remov-
ing a couple of rats, some puffs,
coronet braid, a pompadour, switch.
ct cetera, from her own head.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28
GLOBE SIGHTS.
rFrom the Atchison Globe. ]

[From the Atchison Globe.1 -,
The bigger fool you make out Of a
fool, the better he likes it.
Time flies so fast after you pass fifty
that last year becomes yesterday.
A man always thinks 1t is q cute
trick to unite a woman's apron strings.
If brooms could talk, how the old
broom would deride the work of the
new one!
trate his attentions on one girl, the
other girls stop laughing at his jokes.
The average woman feels proud Of
her housekeeping every time bug,
seen crawling on the bedroom wall,
turns out Not to be a bedbug.
When a woman buys something she
cannot really afford, she condones the
fault by doing without something shc
did not intend to buy, anyway.
We have noticed that when you tell
a woman her daughter is just the i'm
age of her when she was that age, the
mother loks pleased, and the daughter
looks scared.
A man can waver from the truth as
much as he likes. in bestowing compli-
ments; but when he criticfses, a great
fuss is made II he deviates from the
truth in the least.
Give a little boy nickels, and he will
hang around you ever afterward for
other nickels. Same way with grown
people, although they may not show
their greed as plainly as the little boy.
Almost any poultry journal will tell
you how to make money raising tur-
keys, but IL you want real inside infor-
nation, ask a farmers wife, and you
are pretty sure to choose some other
road to wealth.
When men get along in years, they
begin to wonder what mysterious all
ment is attacking them when they
have new aches and pains. Instead of
being a mysterious ailment, 1t is the
footsteps Of the advance guard Of old
age, but no one is willing to admit 1t
| in his own case.
A man seldom hears the last of it If
| he marries a girl who has a dowry.
An Atchison mans wife furnished a
| feather bed. and though they have been
married thirty-five years, she never
fails to remind him OF it. She meets
| every objection to her expenditures
with the argument that she brought
him a feather bed when shs married
him.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28
ROAD DAMAGE BY MOTOR CARS.

ROAD DAMAGE BY MOTOR CARS.
If there were need for any other evil
dence than that afforded by common
observation to warrant the policy Of
compelling automobihsts to make spec
ial contribution, through a fee system,
to the funds for road repair it could
be found in the series of experiments
which the federal department Of agri-
culture has recently been conducting
to learn the amount Of damage done to
the rock surface thoroughfares by mo-
tor cars. Generally summarized, the
results of these experiments prove that
the modern high-powered automobile
is the greatest menace to macadam
roads that has ever been brought to
notice.
On some stretches of highway which
have been Investigated, especially in
New England, the retrogression under
the automobile traffic has been found
to be no less than forty per cent. Sim
liar conditions are causing trouble
abroad, in England, France, Germany,
Holland, Belgium and wherever the
hard-surfaced highways have been gen.
orally adopted; and, taking official
cognizance of the enormous damage
done, France has called an internation-
al congress to meet in Paris next Oc-
tober to consider what may be done
to save the roads without vitally inter-
fering with the development of the au-
tomobile. Both the automobile and
good roads are worthy civilizing in
f1uences; and the fact that for the mo-
ment they seem to conflict with each
other does not mean, of course, that
either must be sacrificed but that a
new condition has arisen which must
be mastered.
The theory of that shrewd Scotsman,
John Loudon Macadam, after whom is
named the best roadway that we have
been able to construct in modern times
for open territory-a theory. by the way
that was borrowed in the main from
Limoges-was that slowly moving iron
tired wagons would crush dust par
ticles from the stones of the roads
surface. that those particles would be
constantly sifted into the interstices
of the large stones. that every passing
wagon would crush them more firmly
into the ruts and inequalities, that
rains would aid to the same end and
that the ultimate result would thus be
well-wearing, smooth-surfaced, wa
| ter-shedding highway.
For a century and a quarter this the
ory has worked well in practice. But
now conditions are changed by the in
| PRODUCTION of an entirely new factor-a
rapidly moving vehicle running on
broad, soft tires. Under this the ma
cadam roadbed Immediately suffers be
cause the rubber tire makes no rock
dust, constant supply Of which the
very life of the road demands. and
because, Furthermore. the tractive
force Of this tire when flattened against
the ground hurls what rock dust the
iron tire still makes into the air
whence it is precipitated upon adjacent
lawns and crops in ruinous profusion
These conditions, now we'll understood
from careful investigations. constitut,
the problem to be met. The road engi
neers must either discover a surfacins
material which makes no dust an,
needs no dust to maintain its own i'm
tegrity or they must devise a methot
Of controlling the dust on the roads W.
now have. Il the introduction Of tn
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28

Sylvester ]. Small. who gained con-
siderable notoriety as the head of the
late strike among the commercial
telegraph operators of the country,
has been fined $50 and sent to Jail for
thirty days for drunkenness and dis
orderly conduct in New Orleans. Thus
do the mighty fall.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-04-28

All of the political experts at Wash
ington are writing stories for their
papers to the effect that there is a
grand rush nowadays for the Taft
band wagon and that when it rolls
into Chicago it will carry a most dis
tinguished company. President Roose-
velt is reported to hold the belief that
Mr.. Taft will have 700 delegates to
start with. Others who are inclined
to be more conservative are sure that
- will have 500 or enough to nomi-
nate him on the first ballot. There
are some Taft optimists who go so
FAR as to say that his will be the only
name presented to the convention for
the presidential nomination.