Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-01-03

4 AAstA ~ Ah dnNOAnOblAE9
said friend. NO" replied the Judge;
but I've tried lot OF people who
have. Jewish Ledger.
IBID she give you any encourage
mentY' well she said she thought
bright girls egght to marry simple
minded Houston Post
Your cook Is telling that your hus-
band gets a very small salary" I'VE
lust tell her that to keep her from
demanding large one. Houston
Post
Il tell you, they are retrenching."
But they stin have their auto"
Which they run well within the speed
limit. Bah louisville Courier
Journal.
He's no good at an argument, Is he2
Not at all convincing" Well | should
say not. Why, that man couldn't con-
vince a woman that she was pretty"
| cleveland Leader.
| But she sings more than she plays;
why do you speak OF her music as
nstrumentalr' We'll, it's instru-
mental In making the nelghbors move
out. ~ Catholic Standard and Times.
Eloper Gin loud Whisper Are
you sure the rope ladder ls firmly
attached7 Eloperess yes -
won't fall Papa and mamma are at
the top, holding II Cleveland Leader.
$50 Graphter Ia dead, The admins
tratlon organ spoke of him this morn
ing as AN earnest party worker.
That's about right He certainly did
work his party In earnest "--Phla-
delphia Press.
Did you hear about the deface-
imeut OF SINNERS tombstoneY No.
What was itT' Some one added the
word friends TO the eptaph." What
Twas the epltaphP" "He did his best"
The Review
she's really too young to go shop
lping alone" Eyes, she is rather lm-
questionable" "Impresslonable1 How
do you mean2" II mean she's liable
to get excited and buy something -
philadelphia Press.
Johnny. you must come your hair
before you come to school" II amt
got no comb" Borrow your fathers"
PA amt got no comb, neither"
/ Doesn't he comb his hair?" "He amt
: got no hair. Houston Post
Elderiey-Do you really think it's
J dangerous TO dye the hSir7 Kidder
OF very | knew fellow of about
your age who did II and the first thing
: he knew be was married to widow
with six children Philadelphia Press.
"You keep too much money about the
house" That's So" admitted the
Western farmer. ITS unwise" Il
know II is. but / aIn't going to stand
In line all night TO deposit money in
no nk."-Louisyille Courier-JournaL
Tanning So the family In the fiat
next yours has a photograph, eh7 How
many records have theyl Frlck-
Heaven only knows But they broke
their best previous record last Sunday
by Eve hours and twenty-six minutes
Puck.
Bourke Cochran was about to make
a political speech MIR, Chairman"
he said, with some show of embarrass-
ment. before | turn loose, please tell
me which side favor tonight" Civ
EN- the proper tip, he waxed eloquent
Philadelphia Ledger
Mr. stubb--Yes, Mary Ellen says she
Is dying to get position as cook on
an ocean liner. Mrs. Stub Tin sur
prlse) Gracious What ever put that
lin her head? Mr.. StCbb--W Why, she
) read that there are three thousand
pieces OF crockery broken every voy-
ge.-ChIeago News
II suppose" said the causal -ac-
lquaintance, the day after the wedding.
at was hard to lose your daughter"
NO." replied the brides father, ut
did seem AS II 1t was going to be hard
at one time. but she landed this fell
low just as we were beginning to lose
hope. "-Cathollc Standard and Times.
Gaddie- You don't seem to have
made very satisfactory impression
on Boren. Cleverley-I tried very
hard to do 80 Gaddie-Well, he told
me you didn't impress him as a man
he would care TO associate with very
much. Cleverley That's very
satisfactory. It's the very impression
| wanted to make.-Philadelph Press.
Doctor" said the stranger. as he
entered the consultation ROOM Il don't
know what the trouble Is, but / can't
sleep Mt night" 'Um-yes," rejoined
the NJ. ID. What Is your occupatlon?"
Pm an Ice dealer replied the other.
Pardon me-" replied the pill compiler,
but you should consGlt minister.
can't undertake to relieve your con-
science" Chicago News.
Boo hoo" sobbed the young wife.
! II just know that you didn't think