The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-03
THE EVENING STORY
The schemer and the widow
(By William II, HambvA

(By William H. Hamby.)
well, jerry" I asked. ..how did the
advertising monographs come out?
DID they cough up any dough?"
Mllsap stretched himself wearily In
an easy chair before the IRE and
sadly Tor minute without repIying
1 mad not seen him before for two
years. and knew that he was lust
Wondering out of the slough of de-
spondency which always lay between
the end of one of his schemes and the
beginning of another.
The fact Is. George" he said, re.
grettully, that was fine idea. IT
would have been the biggest thing YOU
ever heard of if it hadn't been for one
tnlng. Just when We were ready to
do business the Music Trust butted-"
yes. yes. I understand, jerry" I
interrupted. Somewhere a cog Slip
ped and something went zip 1t al
ways does, Jerry. There is only one
thing wrong with your schemes. there
is always one more cog in your wheel
than in the track you run on, and YOU
get bumped"
Milsap looked so bad that 1 almost
regretted my f1ippant remarks His
iast scheme had been to scatter
monographs that advertised a noted
breakfast food by song and story. The
manufacturer, according to Jerry-s
plan, was to pay SO. much for each
record put in circulation; and the only
drawback had been, he would not
do it.
But Jerry rallied directly.
Il tell you, Menegan I've got the
scheme this time 1t will make coin.
you bet-the greatest scheme you ever
ceived, too.''
''Well?" asked, obviously.
Its a correspondence school," he
said gripping my knee ana peering
into my face like an encyclopedia
agent.
"On the ground too late, Jerry I
said. There is already a correspond
ence course covering every field of
learning and endeavor, from the art
of making peanut candy to the science
of not stammering.''
That's it exactly" he exclaimed:
there is school for everything but
one, and that thing is the most i'm
portant of all. 1t touches almost every
family in this great land. and is a
question of great perplexity, of vital
importance, of burning interest" He
paused to gather breath
What is ftp" demanded.
Raising boys he answered trium-
phantly. II will start a correspond
enoe school to teach people how to
raise boys. You see, want to special
ize at first, but may branch out and
include girls later.
But just now it is the problem OF
the boy that is keeping parents all over
the land awake at nights and bringing
the prematurely gray hairs down tt
sorrow and hard work Look at the in
terest in the courts and newspapers
and magazines in this boy question
Now is the time to strike.
The course will embrace every steI
from the cradle to the United States
senate, and will cost only '$25. Think
OF 1t! Don't you see how it will ap-
peal? Why, one doctor bill would cost
that; one fine for shooting craps; the
kilograms to locate a single runaway
He gazed into the fire for a time
and L knew by the way the corners Of
still expanding.
You see," he continued, "our pat
ronage will not be confined to parents
of boys We will sell a great many
courses to young people and old maids
The best recommendation for matri-
mony any one can have will be one OF
our diplomas. In fact, I may be able
to get laws passed requiring a certifi-
cate of graduation from my school be-
fore marriage license will be issued .
In due time there appeared in many
publications a striking advertisement
of Prof. Jerry Milsaps How-to- Raise
Boys Correspondence School,"
About six months later Jerry came
to see me again.
am DOCH0T0Q ABOUT n6Ip, ne eX-
planned, "and I came to see, Menegan
if you would consent to take charge OF
the detective department. You are not
a detective, of course, but you can dc
the work. All you have to do is explain
to parents actions of their boys which
they do not understand, and teach them
how to predict from certain signs
boots and preparations what the boys
intend to do"
I consented to try it, and thereby
lifted a load off Jerry's mind. The con-
Germ, he told me, was very promising.
More than 200 students had already
been enrolled and many inquiries were
coming in by every mail. 1t was to
answering inquiries that jerry devoted
himself-that was why he needed help
At the end of the week he wanted me
to take charge of the moral and educa-
tional departments also, and promised
me a big salary. l consented.
Usually I had little trouble in an
swering any inquiries that come to my
department, but one day had letter
from a woman in Kansas which
thought best to pass up to Jerry-the
fountain head of wisdom.
There were two sons, the woman
wrote. one six. the other eight. She
was young and inexperienced when
she married, and since her husbands
death had tried to manage a five hun
bred acre farm and raise the boys at
the same time. Then she asked many
difficult questions.
Tt was a. well written letter, sincere
and appealing, and left the impression
that here was brave woman, trying
cheerfully to carry burdens TOO heaVy
for one human being.
Jerry read the letter, sat biting the
ends of his mustache Tor an hour, and
then dictated a lengthy reply.
In a few days she wrote again. The
letter was full of gratitude to the
nrofessor for his help, and asked many
other questions all bright and pointed.
Jerry went to the typewriter and an
swered that one himself.
Letters came quite regularly after
that, and turned them unopened
over TO Jerry. once only did L open
one. and that before I recognized the
nostmark. 1t contained small pic
ture of the two boys-taken with