The sun., 1908-05-17
Drink Carbohc Acid whiskey.


Maybe that " asn't the exact name Of the
brand. but the idea was that at all events
Mr.. Daley hadn't had time to get any break
fast, for the hour was then only 1855 P. NJ.
but he was wide awake enough to see the
theatrical possibilities Of that illuminated
shirt. He halted the young man and ad-
dressed him something in this wise:
@Whither away, merry oompanionP'
sOh, lust pikin' down the alley replied
the young man.
|, aWouldst turn an honest penny per-
ohance?' persisted DALEY.
Il wouldst,' responded the young man
promptly. aYou bet your life ] wouldst
and you can cut out the adjective II you
like
Adjective adjeotive?r unused Mr.. Daley.
"Where have heard that word before?'
1T is something you apply to the stage
manager said the young man quickly.
"oh, fie! fie!' cried Mr.. Daley. And I
would further reprove you except for the
fact that must save my voice for the per-
formance.'
The upshot of it was that Mr.. Daley
entered into an arrangement with the young
man, whose name was Buckley, for the hire
of the Illuminated shirt six nights week
and two matinees for the purpose of wear
ing It in the last act OF the burlesque.,
The illuminated shirt made big hit in
the show. There were some drawbacks
about the thing OF course. The first time
Mr.. Daley put the shirt on. for example,
his dresser got such a shock that he threat
ened to resign IL it happened again.. You
see an electric shirt is q rather complicated
affair The thing is full OF wires in the first
place, and if the Insulation wears of there's
likely to be trouble. There's an arrange.
ment Of iron that runs from the bosom OF
the shirt up through the arrnhole OF your
vest, il you're q common person, and OF
your waistcoat II you Pete Daley. Thence
the wires rim due south into theIpocket of
your overcoat, where there's set OF dry
batteries with button attachment. When
you press the button the shirt front is illu-
minated.
Unfortunately the insulation had worn
of one OF the wires the first time Daley
put the shirt on. The unfortunate valet
happened to get hold of one Of the uhprc-
tected spots. He made some comment
upon the circumstance. Subsequently
they had to pry him of with a rabbits
Mr.. Daley had been won't to manicure his
aYou gotter go git a electrician. moaned
the valet. Il amt no lineman.' There
was some argument, at the end OF which
they compromised on some rubber gloN es
and a pair Of ineman's climbing irons.
All went well after that for some weeks.
At length there came an evening when
as Mr.. Daley was putting on the shirt
the careless valet got the wires crossed at
point where there was no Insulation. In
sizzling and the smell Of scorching jokes.
Mr.. Daley slid out OF the shirt with much
haste, his exit being facilitated considerably
by the fact that the shirt was only dickey.
They worked over the thing with feverish
. y,lia h,,tt
The shirt was short circuited-burnt out.
It's connection with the Merry Widow"
burlesque (perrnission Of, dc.) was ended.
and. as Buckley points out significantly.
the show closed its metropolitan run last
night. Mr.. Daley was heart broken.
-Why.' he said yesterday. struggling
with his emotion, you've no idea how ]
missed Il. Those dry batteries were just
full Of the sweetest, dearest little volts
and amperes that you ever. saw. l re-
member. particularly one little blue volt
green spots and a curly curly tail. They
used to climb into my pockets and go to
sleep there, and I'd find 'em all .curled up
there when I went home at night after
the show. How loved the little chapsl
and always used to carry around
quantity OF it for him. The little ampere
on the contrary would eat no sweets at all.
but he just couldn't get enough pickles. So
i had one pocket laDelleQ sugar ana an
other one marked pickles The words
were embroidered in silk. Who embroid-
cred them? All. that's SECRET! Dear girl
But as was saying, one time ] was 30
busy learning some new lines that in my
abstraction put the sugar in the pickle
pocket and when the dear little volt got
into the pickle pocket and that cunning
ampere entered the sugar preserve there
was a terrible row. It was with difficulty
that paoifed them sufficiently to 60 on
with the performance.
Buckeyes account differs materially from
Dailey's. He says that one night when
he dropped into the theatre, at the usual
hour to see carbolic acid whiskey adver-
tieed by the shirt, what was his surprise,
pain grief and amazement TO see the shirt
advise the audience to Drink Nitriol Ver-
naeuth.' 1t was then that he demanded
his shirt back. When he got 1t back he
found that 1t was all out OF kilter. All
the volts and amperes were snarly and
irritable and nothing went right.
Resulted q suit against Daley for the
value OF the short circuited shirt. The
actor put In claim for SIS week for
advertising the whiskey but in the Municipal
Court at Fffty-third street and Third avenue
yesterday Judgment was returned for the
plaintiff For the value Of the short circuited
shirt suit--$10O, to wit.
And by the way, can you say Short
circuited shirt suit and say 1t fast?
------------