The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-09-06
SKEEZICKS ELOPES-By George Randolph Chester

loon, he whizzed after her as tight as
 he could go. This time he caught up
 with her. The old COW was busy paint
 ing a picture of a black night to hide
 in, but she had no time to finish 1t, for
 what do you suppose happened?"
 "Oh, know" said Sl1eezicks, his eyes so big and round that if they had
 stretched any more his lids must have
 cracked. tThe airship bumped into the
 balloon and broke it
 "Exactly!" agreed Uncle Joe. That is ] precisely what happened, and then you had better believe there was an awful time up there in the clouds. The air ship caught in the ropes of the balloon
 and they both began to sink together. ] Down, down, down, down they went,
 whirling and twlrling and squirting, and
 where do you suppose they landed?"
 ''In the water,' replied Skeezdicks
 promptly.
 NO, sir!' said Uncle Joe. When you , fall out of anything that is painted Jn
 a picture you simply fall back to the picture. Anybody ought to know that. l Well, the COW and the bear. and the bal
 loon and the airship and Bill Mosquito
 and the easel bird all came tumbling whack! down to that picture, and out
 on the deck of the steamer. There was ! no time now for the old COW to paint a ] picture, and out on the deck of the steam l CT. There was no time now for the old | COW to paint a picture, so when she 1 got on the deck she simply ran across l 1t and jumped off into the water, the l bear right after her. They lit on the
 water so hard that they broke it. and
 went spang, through that picture to the railroad train. They hit the railroad
 train so hard they broke that, and land ed swish, in the branches of the tree 1 The old COW shinned down the tree first
 and then she took her ax and chopped 1 the tree down and stunned the bear. She
 ran back to her haystack, and-would 1 you believe it?-that baby had never left
 off crying. The babys mother was still
 hungry, but the old COW lodged the roll
 ing pin, jumped through the picture into l her own nice pasture field and began
 to eat buttercups and sweet clover again l And that's all'
 Skeezicks drew long, long sigh of
 mingled satisfaction and regret.
 It's such short story" he objected.
 Tell another one, Uncle Joe.' The young man looked appeaingly at
 Miss Elzner, but she had no mercy for | him. She merely smiled with glee 1 Yes, do tell another one," she urged
 with full appreciation of his difficult
 position
 l It was Uncle Joe's turn to sigh He had
 already scraped the inside of his head to
 find stories for this unsuitable small
 nephew of his, and the work was very l exhausting Fortunately the Elzner maid 1 of-all work saved him by appearing in
 the doorway just that moment.
 "A package from the dressmaker Miss
 Elizabeth" said Katie, whereupon Miss l Elzner, with an exclamation of pleasure l very promptly got up, and with squeeze
 for Skeezicks, whom she placed in the big
 leather chair and a pat on the head for i Uncle Joe, she was gone. A new dress,
 especially one that is to form part of a 1 trousseau, is more important than any 1 thing in this world.
 l Uncle Joe looked at Skezicks solemnly. l "Never, never do it, my boy" he said.
 T won't" replied Skeezicks. "What?" l "Never have a wedding said Uncle Joe, earnestly. Look at the awful ex- pense; look at the time that is wasted; 1 look at the trouble it makesl Why, Skee-
 zicks, this wedding is going to cost
 enough to have bought a real mission ] library, a gun, and two good bird dogs
 Look here, Skeezicks, of course you l cant escape marriage, but if you are ever tempted to have a wedding, just l you cross your fingers and touch wood
 and say, very slowly. three times, with | your eyes closed:
 l 1"Trouble, Trouble, let me be! Trouble, Trouble, twenty-three !! Trouble, Trouble, prunes for you Trouble, Trouble, oh, skidoo!'
 Skeezicks turned the matter gravely
 over in his mind and silently moved his ! lips. He was trying Uncle Joe's trouble
 invocation and he found 1t very fascinat- | ing
 1 "Of course, Skeezicks, marriage itself
 is serious business anyhow went on
 Uncle Joe, looking at his watch. Its
 more uncertain, really, than prize fight | ing as people who have tried it few | times tell me. To begin with you might
 understand, I say might-get the wrong
 girl; and the danger of that will be 1 greater now than ever. for the last Of 1 the very best ones will be gone when | I make Miss Elzner your sure-enough | Aunt Elizabeth. I don't believe that I'm mistaken in her. She'll always be
 good and kind to me. don't you think?"
 On this point Skeezicks had no doubt
 whatever; in fact, he was enthusiastic about it-with good and substantial reason, too, for he was an almost daily caller at the Elzner home, and he knew l just how good and kind Miss Elizabeth 1 could be.
 And as for myself, I shall not club her any ofterner than is absolutely needed to show who is the boss in my own house. You believe that, think" Skeezicks laughed aloud at this, but | sobered his face instantly in answer to | his Uncle Joes serious expression. If Uncle Joe wanted to keep right on making believe, why. Skeezicks was 1 ready. He could do it all day, if need | be: no trouble at all for either one of l them, in fact.
 "Yes, sir" Skeezicks soberly replied, though his eyes would twinkle in spite | of him.
 well. I'm glad you think so. You l don't think you will change your mind about it very soon?" "No, sir" said Skeezicks. "Well, I'm glad to hear that too, be- cause if you think people will not be good and kind to each other you ought l to stop a wedding between them, and in our case when the minister asks | if anybody knows good and just req son why we two should not be bound in | the bonds of holy wedlock, you won't feel 1t your duty to raise any objec- | tion."
 "No. indeed" Skeezicks promptly as- sured him.
 q have your promise on that?' "Yes. sir" Skeezsicks gravely af- frmed. He was used to these whfmsi- cally solemn talks with his Uncle Joe. and by that young man he had been treated with grown-up familiarity ever ' einc- .. had baan lisninG hahr- with