davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
personal AND OTHERWISE.

Dissertation on the food value of chest
nuts are warmly commended to story
tellers.
The suspended banks of Picking resumed
business promptly when the police came
around with the axe.
Conveyances from Chicago to the peni-
Tertiary speed over a straight road only
when the victim willingly omits the curves.
When a court cuts a woman's claim for
aIimony from $l25, 900 to SIS 1000 a year it is
time to class judicial %gallantry among the
lost arts.
Philadelphia will start the new year
with an all-night bank, both for busines
and to prove that some natives stay
awake at night.
Burton Holmes. the lecturer, says that
the name of the Chinese empress was
O'Haru, evidently a Chinese version OF
O'Hara. Can't lose EN-.
If some would put out BIZ
o~graphies of the Howard and Anna Gould
families the six best sellers" of former
years would be beaten to a FRAGILE"
A Chicago university professor breaks
into print to say that the mental equality
of the sexes is impossible. quite likely,
since Mrs. Professor is wise enough to
avoid the megaphone.
THAI Washington Judge who ruled that
a wife had a legal right to search her
husbands pocket doubtless reasoned that
a husband who could net beat the game
wasn't a safe person TO harbor money.
The Association for International Concili-
alton, having failed TO place Congressman
Hobson on q peace footing, might try him
-ttN 49,. - H. ANA M paRb1afe nrfpfaa In
seven languages. Richard needs treatment
for insomnia
Mr.. Rockefeller's debut in magazine and
court literature Is so volumnlous and sym
pathetic in tone that Ida Tarbell must
revise her ideas and can a few more. Such
hot stuff deserves a better fate than OBJ
livion in legal tcmes.
When Grand Duke Alexis and his COM
panion sportsmen finished their buffalo
hunt in January, 1872, they were given a
banquet at Topeka, Kan. at which the
bill Of fare contained 1O5 different articles
Of food and drink He survived the feast
thirty-six years and ten months.
An accommodating Judge Of a court at
Springfield. H.. adjourned court long
enough to permit two scrappy lawyers to
settle the question which one was a liar,
AT the conclusion of the argument, which
was regarded as a draw. the court re-
marked that after making allowance for
the excitement SD would satisfy the
courts ideas OF dignity.
The right kind Of a father-in-law to
annex is one built on the plan Of Captain
John Fleming, a wealthy New York cons
tractor. The elopment and marriage OF
his son drew from the ex-sea captain an
outburst OF expletives that would melt an
iceberg. but when the storm exhausted
itself the old man the guiity
pair to his home. smacked the bride on
the smacker and pronounced the benedic-
ton by handing them a certified check
for $4,000. Wouldn't that Jar your
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
WHEN DocroRs DISAGREE.

VhEN' OCOLOhp OAo1bAtHb'
The recent prohibition crusade in
the south, in which a number OF the
homes of the seductive mint iulep and
the product of corr have been placed
In the "dry" column, has started sci
entists. professors and psychologists to
arguing upon the effects of strong
drink on the human system. Out Of
the contributions offered It is easy to
reach the conclusion that there are
two sides to the drink problem, as
there are to the tariff and most ques-
tons which the people insist upon
keeping alive as issues. Two recent
contributions to the temperance litera-
ture. however, are worthy of at least
passing consideration. owing to the
prominence of the contributors.
President Eliot of Harvard, who
states that he has used liquor all his
life, but has now come to realize
that he has used it u%nwisely, adj
vises all users of alcoholic stimulaDts
to stop it. He asserts that, while wine
does make glad the heart of man,
1t is a rude crowbar with which to pry
into action the delicate mechanism of
the brain and that the after effects
are more damaging than the benefits
to be derived from the original stimu-
lus.
On the other hand, Prof. Hugo
Munsterbefg of Harvard, whose repu-
tation in the psychological world is
very high. argues that many men do
their best work after a moderate use
of alcohol and that there is no sci
entifcally safe fact which demon
strates the evil effects of a temperate
use of alcohol by normal adult men.
He makes the somewhat startling
statement that the alarming spread of
cocainism, m~oTphinism, sexual per-
version and ruinous habits is among
those who totally abstain from alcohol.
DR.. Frederick Peterson and DR.. George
williams, recognized as W of the
leading physicians in New York City,
offer opinions combating Prof. Mum
! SIeIDeTR ; Nl6Wb. lutS6 puySlOldho Id
sert hat alcohol is a drug, a poison
a narcotic, an anAesthetic, a depressant
and not. as generally supposed, a slim
ulant; it ~perverts digestion, weakens
the hearts action, decreases the capac-
ity for muscular work and dulls the
mental faculties.
The difficulty of all this argument
is that there is and can be no hard
and fast rule for Judging the effects
Of alcohol, chewing gum, golf, cards
or politics on men. One boy cal play
with matches without coming to harm
while another makes work for the fire
department. One man can toy with
strong drink and experience no Ill eff
fects, while another takes it only tc
find his fortifcations against exces:
battered down and the temperate
drinker turned to a drunkard. The
world has no trouble with the temper.
ate drinker, while most of it's worries
and sorrows come from the intemper
ate. The man who does not drinl
at all is the only one who leaves moth.
inc IN chance
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
ADVANCE
eBaltlmore Amerlcan.

NPaAAiiAoAV AHltIltdls
Now the butchers boy smiles blith ely as
he meets you on the block.
And the grocer's boy gets busy with his
cap,
And the janitor is careful your opinions
not to shock,
Though In days gone by he did not care
a rap.
Now the waitress asks you over If you'll
have a piece of pie,
And the bellboy comes Ofttimes before
you ring,
While the cook gets so ambitious that
you ask the reason why,
And decide you've quite m%isjudged the
girl, poof thing.
Next your relatives get busy. writing let
ters by the score,
Though you're not by any means a man
OF wealth,
But you hasten to remember that about
a year before
They were equally concerned about your
health.
Then a dawning seems to seize you I'm its
vigorous embrace.
And an understanding permeates your
spine
There's a reason for these favors which
you very soon Will trace
If your talent for analysis is fine.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
ELEcroRAL coLLEeE puzzLE.

F HH
One of the peculiar features of the
American system of electing its presi-
dents has been called to mind by a cor
respondent who writes to Inquire If,
in case Mr.. Taft should die before the
electoral college meets. the college
would be bound to elect Mr.. sherman
as president. The correspondent con-
tends that this would be the duty of
the college, as the constitution pro-
vides that the vice president shall sue
coed the president, in case of the lat
ter's death or removal from office.
AS a matter of fact, Mr.. Taft is. to-
day neither president, nor the presi-
dent-elect. Practically the people
have chosen him, but technically he
will not be elected until the second
week in January, when the electors
whom the people have chosen will do
the electing. Should MIR. Taft die be-
fore hat time the electors would be
under no obligation to choose Mr..
Sherman as president. They may.
even Win MI. idlI awe utClue 10
elect Mr.. Bryan, Mr.. Debs or any other
citizen who is eligible for the office.
There is no legal prohibition to such
action.
The electors will meet at each state
capital and prepare similar ballots, one
of which will be sent by mail to Wash
ington, n carried by messenger to
the vice president and one filed in the
federal court nearest the capital of the
state. On each ballot will be recorded
the votes cast by the electors for presi-
dent and vice president. These votes
will be ~canyassed by congress, which
declares the result of the election, and
there will be no going behind the re-
turns, as was done in the Hayes-Tildeu
campaign. The Hoar law, passed soor
after 1876, made such p~ost-electior
contests impossible in the future.
Should Mr.. Taft die before the vote
of the electoral college is taken Il
would be entirely competent for con.
gress by a special bill to call the col
lege together for a new election
Should he die after the vote is takeI
and before the inauguration it is a puz
cling question whether that would re
suit in the succession Of Mr.. Sherman
or In an election of a president by In,
house of representatives. While tn
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
rEN MLLLLoN I =

Entirely incidental to his picture of
the educational requirements of the
immediate future, DR.. Nicholas Murray
Butler OF Columbia university, in his
report as president to the trustees,
makes this prediction:
Al the rate which its population is being
increased, including additions from immi-
grafton, there are many persons now living
who will know New York as a city with
100000 inhabitants.
A ten-million city almost passes i'm
a~gination, and yet we're it not In sight,
so careful and ~far-seeing an observer
as President Butler would hardly ven
ture to assert that the American me-
tropolls will be a ten-million city
within sixty to seventy years-for that
is what his prediction amounts to.
Today, after nearly twenty centuries
of growth, the largest city in the world
is London, which, in what is called
Greater London, embracing all the
suburbs and outlying districts, con-
tanned a population by the latest cen
sus of 6,5S1,372. Greater New York,
which second, counted in its
1905 census 4,O14,30 people within
its borders. A ten-million city would
be almost as big as London and New
York combined.
When the first census of the United
States was taken in 1880 all the inhab-
itants Of the republic put together
numbered only ~3,929,214, and 1t was
not until about 1926 that the popula-
ton of the United States passed the
ten-millioH mark. In the census of
1900 not a state in the union showed
up 10, 00O, 900 people. New York
came first, with 7,26S,S94, and Penn
s~ylvania second, with 6,302,115. A
ten-million city would contain more
people than did Nebraska, Iowa, Kan
sas, Minnesota, Wisconsin, North and
South Dakota combined at the last Gen.
sus period. It would contain twice as
many people as did the six New Eng
land states of Maine, New Hampshire,
Vermont. Massachusetts, Rhode Island
and Connecticut at that time.
And still there is nothing hazardous
in predicting that the metropolis OF
America will hold 10, 600, 900 people
before the present century expires, the
only doubtful point being how much
sooner it will come than the century
mark.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
MISSOURI JOINS THE NORTH.
Taft's Plurality a Death Certificate
OF Bryanism
Nav York World (dem.l.

New York World (dem.).
TIL most significant and interesting re-
suit of the Missouri election Is the states
emphatic Reputation of Organism. The
voters showed an inclination toward DEM
ocracy by electing most Of the state can
didates-all except Hadley and Gmelich, in
whose success special causes governed. Yet
they gave Taft a plurality OF 1925 over
Bryan.
Until 1904 Missouri was regarded as one
of the strongest and safest states in the
democratic column. 1t was looked upon
as part of the solid south. From 1876 it
gave an unbroken series of democratic
pluralities ranging from 80, 600 to $4,000. Two
years before the first nomination of Bryan.
under the leadership of "Silver Dick
Bland, Missouri was swept by the craze
of 16 to /. The state took the leadership
in the silver movement. In the 1896 con-
~vention the Missouri delegation assured
Bryan's nomination by deserving Bland at
the critical moment. That year the state
gave Bryan a plurality of 5S.4U. In 1900
it gave him a plurality of 1888. Bryan
was it's idol. In 1904 the loss of the state
was charged to the refusal of the Bryan
following to vote for Parker. This year
it was confidently anticipated that Bryan
idolatry would redeem the state and would
pull through the weak candidate for gov
ernor. But Bryan could not save himself.
He was weaker than the minor state can
didates of his party.
Taft's plurality is the death certificate
of Organism in Missouri. Its downfall in
the house of friends has destroyed a DEM
ocratic stronghold and made It open fight
ing ground for the enemy. Missouri's loss
to democracy opens the southern border
for republican invasion.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
MoDERNrzING ANCIENT HISTORY.


Senc- Guglielmo Ferrero. the Ital-
ian historian, now visiting in this
country, is making it a special order
of business to tell the students in
American schools and colleges that all
the histories Of Rome, except his own,
have been miswritten. He has taken
all of our ideas Of those old warriors
and statesmen, gathered from the read
ing of Plutarch, Gibbon, Milman,
Mommsen and others, and declares
that they are as faulty and unreliable
as the reports circulated. in the closing
days of a political campaign in this
country. Prof. Ferrero asserts that
our so-called Information about the
Romans a no even approximate re-
lation to the truth.
The Italian professor tells us. for
instance, that Marc Antony did not
deliver that Friends, Romans, Coun-
trymen" Grafton over the body of the
dead Caesar. He presents some pretty
strong evidence to show that Antony
instead of being a young patriot was
really a self-schemeB, who was look
ing out for Antony and always getting
into the bandwagon. 1t appears that
he had quite a gOod-sized, personally
conducted senatorial boom on and was
not partial at all to Caesar, whose in
luence was with the other fellow.
~Sohoolboys, who love to recite the
"Lend-me-your-ears' excerpt from
Antony's grafton. may regret his re-
iectment, but a whole multitude OF
folks will rise up in protest against
Prof. Ferrero's assertion that Cleo
patra wasn't there with the good looks.
He declares hat she not only did not
possess the gift of beauty. but was
positively ugly. Haven't we seen heI
on the stage and known her capture
the worlds hearts? Ferrero may re-
build the fabric of Roman history with
the help of the knowledge of men and
their motives, but Cleopatra will con.
tinue to look good to most of us. II
is permissible, perhaps. for Ferrero tC
insist that Caesar was a democrat and
that Augustus expressed precisely
the same views as your president and
In precisely the same language" His
~torical accuracy is important. bur
there are some Notions which are more
preferable, If not truer, than facts
and Cleopatra's beauty belongs in tina
list.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
SECULAR SHOTS AT THE PULPIT

Baltimore American; A Pennsylvania
pastor who wished the mammoth hats of
the eminin part of his congregation re-
moved, and who believed more In the exer-
else Of tact than of authority, announced
that he would not expect the elder ladies to
take off their hats in church, but would
request 1t of the younger ones. Every
woman had to take off her ~headgear or
stamp herself as elderly. There was no
further obstruction of the view.
Boston Herald: Says the eloquent Bap-
list preacher. Dr. o. p. Clifford: Catholic
ireland and Protestant England lived on
separate islands. In Boston Irishman
jostled Englishman. the Catholic crowded
Protestant. Contact destroyed prejudice.
Each saw that the other was human, and
seeking the divine. The open palm has
taken the place of the clenched fist, both
are citizens OF a common republic. Ignor-
ance is the parent of prejudice. knowledge
Of truth frees.
Philadelphia Record The Methodists and
the Baptists and the Presbyterians and the
Lutherans can vote as hey please. and If
they choose to vote only for candidates
whose theological opinions they deem
sound, that is their affair. But it is not
worth while for them In their various
clerical assemblies to adopt resolutions CEN
surfing the president for writing that Mr..
Taft's religious beliefs are his own private
affair. That expresses the conviction OF a
great majority of the people Of the coun-
try, and II is hardly worth while for the
ministerial meetings to resolve that the
president and the nation at large are all
wrong and that voters ought to divide on
UNCONVENTIONAL lines.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
Season for General Rejoicing.

Justice Weaver OF the iowa supreme
court in constituting the contract Of a
teacher of athletics decided the foot bali
season to be that part Of the year ending
with Thanksgiving day, and added:
The remainder of the year of the univer-
sity student may be devoted to the study
OF foot ball, but the foot ball season proper
ends appropriately with a general thanks
giving.
We infer that this Iowa Judge belongs to
the Eliot strict construction school Of foot
ball and is glad when the season is over.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

Mrs. Highmus-I see from the fashion
plates that gowns are not to be worn so
Mrs. NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.! MY husband
viii have a fit. l never wear a gown more
than once or twice even now!-Chlcago
Tribune.
Mrs. Hicks-My husband has been just
Mrs. Wicks-H'm! What was It YOU
caught him doing ?-Boston Transcript.
Mrs. Benham-How much did you pay
the minister when we were married?
Benham-He fined me S5-Harper's
Bazaar.
What, Mrs Ka F1ippe, Is your idea Of
One who is always willing to occupy
the rumble seat in the auto when you are
entertaining a handsome young army off
Ger. Chicago Record-Herald
B~rigss-Eyen divorce, nowadays. offers
no sure relief.
| Griegs-How so?
why, in nine cases out Of ten a man is
free to marry again. "-Brooklyn Life.
They were seated together in a down
town restaurant.
'oh, / don't know" she replied. But IL
a9ythins s IN ste 70 Pre siinsr me w,,y wi ~ a dist,
able. News.
I'm living in a new neighborhood now"
aNHave your new neighbors offered you
any attentions?
well, think some Of them invited
friends to watch me move n."-Washington
Post. TJ
Mrs. H~enpeck-There's no use in your try-N
ing to dispute what | say. I'm determined
to have the last word.
Mr.. Henpeck-Tm quite willing YOU
should, my dear, only do have it soon.-
Judge.
He-My dear, here is startling news in
the paper this morning. There has been a
great breaking up in China.
She-Pshawl that's nothing. II happens
every day in the Observation-Disclosures
American,
Darling said the fair. pale girl. as she
! nestled to her manly lovers side, 81 would
I die for you,
~ know 1t, Mabel" he answered. but
wouldn't you oblige me by choosing another
color2'-Baltimure American.
Tommy Wrott-You told Dora Hone that
you had refused me at least half 2. dozen
times. What a whopperl
Lolita Guph-1t wasn't Il whopper, either.
Don't you remember that YOU proposed TO
me six times last Thursday ~evesing2-Chi-
cago Tribune.
Have you got an Independent fortune?'
NO. I'm married. "5CIeveland Leader.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
An Honorary Humorist.
Boston Herald.

Mr.. Rockefeller's humorous disposition
serves him we'll A smart reporter a~ccosted
him in one of the intervals OF his cross
examination and submitted to him a writ
ten question, prepared by the young mans
editor, asking the old gentleman II he ex-
pected to get an Immunity bath. Mr..
Rockefeller read the question carefully,
placed his arm around the young mans
neck, adjusted his mouth to the reportorlal
ear and then hollered as loud as he could
Tell him / am not int"
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
Twill DO for a starter.

twenty-five per cent increase in the
amount OF mail between this country and
Great Britain during the first month Of
the 2-cent postage doesn't fully offset the
reduction in the pecuniary receipts, but It
will do for a starter. It's bound to show
profit In time.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
working on a New Issue.
Boston Herald.

Mr.. Bryan is to spend some time in
Mexico studying the railroad question
under President Diaz's scheme of national
ization. He has never abandoned his be-
lief in government ownership. but simply
postponed the issue until a more opportunie
time thar has yet appeared. Possibly he
intends to TAX a chance with 1t in 1912.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
Advance of the s'Iowa Idea.o

The election of Albert NJ. Cummins to
the United states senate from Iowa and
his pledge to aid in immediate tariff re-
vision as promised in the party platform
transports the Iowa idea to Washington
With some emphasis. And the s~tand-patters
had their troubles already.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
A MEMORIAL TO LINCOLN.

The report that President Roosevelt
will recommend to the coming con
gress the admission of New Mexico
and Arizona to statehood has led to
the suggestion that one of the new
states be named Lincoln, in honor of
the martyred president. 1t is pro-
posed that this be done in commemora-
ton of the approaching centenary of
Lincoln's birth. A Boston lawyer and
sociologist adds the suggestion that the
Philippine islands be reehristened the
Lincoln islands. A further proposition
is that a magnificent national roadway
be constructed from Washington to the
Gettysburg battlefield n named in
honor of Mr.. Lincoln.
In respect to all of the suggestions,
it may be argued that Lincoln needs
the naming of neither rosdways, states
nor foreign possessions Z keep his
name and fame alive for future gem
erations, but as there seems to be a
general desire to take some such Mt
ting action in the Lincoln centenary
year, the suggestion that New Mexico,
If admitted, be named the state of Lin
coin is the most reasonable and
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

Mr.. Rockefeller says the oil bust
ness is extremely hazardous, 1t must
be, as some years it does not pay more
than 40 per cen in dividends.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

question a never been put to the
test. the possibility of It suggests the
need of an amendment which shall en-
act plainly what shall be lone in such
a contingency.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

sonal pride for their interests In a manly.
straightforward way7 The kaiser IL al
ways impulsive, sometimes indiscreet. but
his action, on sober second thought, has
uniformly been .creditable to him as a man.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

The German chancellor, who is be
ing looked upon as the refuge of his
people against the militarism and war
spirit of the emperor, has just asked
for 1926, 900 600 for the enlargement
of the imperial army and navy.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

New York is still discussing what
shall be done with Madison Square
garden. but indications are that the
garden will soon become a closed Incl
dent.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

Foraker is still the fire alarm in
Ohio" says the Atlanta Constitution.
Perhaps, but they are planning to turn
the legislative hose on him.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
A GrncefuI ComedoMn.
Boston Globs

Instead Of jeering at the kaiser because
he came down. as some seem disposed
to do. isn't it more fitting to give him
credit for recognising his responsibilities
10 his people and for sacrificing his per-
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

Orders have been placed within the
month for $4,000 new cars for the
American railroads Prosperity is APP
~parently returning on wheels.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

The congress may go ahead with the
work Of tariff revision, but 1t need not
expect the democrats to be satisfied
with the result.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

A Colorado NJ wants a divorce
because she does not understand her
husband. She should be congEatu-
lating herself instead of worrying.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

Thomas c. Plat is going to leave
the United States senate and the inter-
est in the event is so pronounced that
some New York men are lighting for
his shoes as souvenirs. u.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

Some of the members of the present
congress seem To labor under the de-
fusion that the tsriff revision elevator
is going up, instead of down.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29

"Spooning is objectionable" says a
writer of womah's page advice. Per
haps, but spooners never ask anybody's
pardon. w.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-29
sTAEMENT OF CIRCULATION.

STATEMENT OF CIRCULATION.
State OF Nebraska, Douglas Count, IS.
George b. T~zschuck, treasurer OF The
Bee Publishing being duly sworn,
says that the actual number OF full and
complete copies OF The Daily, Morning.
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during tho
month Of Ocfnhnr 1913 Was az folloWs: