davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

weren't looking, and making their escape.
And we had to gnaw troches by the
gross to keep our voices in gear long
enough to get 'em to bid. And we had
to lie until We were blacker'n the Emperor
Menelik. too, in the old red-flag and bell
Idnging era Of the auction business. But
tie discoveries in modern psychological
science
Psychology and auctioneering? The
Connection We ventured
why, the connection is as intimate as
that between pestle and mortar and
Kentucky coon and his coon dog" replied
the auctioneer- hypnotist. carefully trim
ming the smoking end of three-for-a-
half cigar with a little gold knife. Mod
ern psychological science has simply ele-
waited us from the rank of mountebanks
to that of commercial virtuosi, so that
now, instead of wheedling and coddling
'em and jollying em and magicianing
'em. why, we simply hypnotic EN-
Sounds almost shamefully SIMPLE" we
ventured again. this time ironically.
I'VE hypnotic EN-" continued the mar
rator, calmly. I'VE don't stake 'em to
the evil eye or the horrific hoodoo or the
jaundiced jonah or the cobra charm or
the serpentine spell We just hypnotic
'em, like the French surgeons do their
patients when they're ready to saw them
up.
I'VE hypnotic 'em into bidding on any
thing We want 'em to bid on, whether
they want to not. We'd little bit
rather hypnotic 'em into bidding on
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

trance. He coughed I'D his six,v-fiv.
stlli resident of Dopevile. / didn.t 80
10 release him, snap him awake t,,rr
MIN loose. until after he had rhed ,ba
coin, you see. NV INC
After he had dished over tie sxtv-
I'VE gently waved him free. and he
ZANE 10 with the rush of a winning horse
III oriVlng head-and-head finish
ne mad the base Idle by the neck
win poth hands, and you'd have enioyed
seeing MIN look II over. He looked at if
as ne was saying to himself, Now.
What the devils this I've got hold of?
DO l belong in the Home for Incurables
or don't L? But he was game. and he
promptly pulled himself together.
Play on it?' 1 inquired of him. inst
to see what he'd say.
Play on it?' he shouted at me Not
by = do play on it. Do 1 look like
a confounded fiddling-'
Oh says 1. L see. You're going 10
teach your little girls to play on il.
Great fad in Europe just now. teaching
little girls to play the bass viol-
Little girls! says he. looking at me
SO hard that for a minute I was afraid
l might have to trance him again for
self-protection. Say, what kind of a..
Well. l inquired. what are you GO
ing to do with 1t. anyhow?
Why, - it ALL. he yelled, I'm going
to learn 1t myself. I'm going to lug the
dad-blamed thing hcme and learn how To
play IT myself-thats what Tn going tn
do with 1t. What the dickens dye sun
pose ID pay s.xty-tive dollars for the
thing for-for kinding wood?'''
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

letting bidders down pretty light and not
making 'em take many things that they
didn't need for 1 felt generous, kind o,
and waiting all the time for a hard man
to come along before putting up the bass
fiddle.
II wanted a man with a cold. steely
eve and a general look Of cautiousness
and deliberation and orneryness; for, be-
lieve me, I'm incapable OF doing SO low :
down a thing as it would have been to
force that old catgutted kettledrum on a
man that looked as II he had trouble
enough already.
MY man came in just about the time
I wanted him. I'd Just hypnotized an
aged colored woman into bidding In. TOT
So So that beautiful chrome I'm Grand
mamma Now'-remember t?-little girl
putting on pair Of gold-rimmed specs;
very pathetic, VARY.
well, the aged colored woman was just
handing I'D her $3.50 when the man
wanted to unload the Goliath violin on
came in.
.'He was sixty, we'll dressed, mutton
chop whiskered, and he looked like ami
mated flint Says I to myself:'Old boy,
you've got about as much use for second
hand bass fiddle as you have for gilt
painted milking STOOL but logged II you
amt a-going to buy a secondhand pass
fiddle right now. and you're a-golng 10
dig up good and hard for it, at that.
''He stood in the rear of the crowd, but
I had him Svengalied in no time. Then
I put up the bass fiddle. I didn't heave
any bluff about its being a grown-up
Cremona or an adult Stradivarius or q
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

in distress in the water may not have
any strength left for swimming purposes
she's always got the devils own power IN
her arms for clutching if her mind has
Quit her and she is in frenzied fear or a
quick cash-in.
so 1 swan around behind her. as We
always do with women, to catch them
by the collar of the bathing dress. and,
holding them off at distance SO that
they can't grab. head them in that way
with one arm overland swimming.
But as soon as that chalky-faced all
in girl saw me getting around behind
her she handed me the stun by saying in
a weak. but perfectly controlled tone OF
voice:
"'You needn't do that, my friend; I'll
be good and not grab Just let me rest
my hands on your shoulders: that's ali:
You'd have thought that half-drowned
young woman was telling the paperhang-
er what color she wanted her room done
in.
''All the same, took her word for 1t.
and fiattened out on my stomach. She
ders so easily that I didn't know they
were there.
Now. I'm all right she said. You
can go ahead
as 1 had been about the girl only half
minute before / took the breast stroke
for it. with the girls hands just touch
ing my shoulders. and got her in with
nary DOtleF III the SUO-ydEu SWuH
II hadn't been able to have good look
at her, and / was thinking as I swan in
that she must be funny little prim
school teacher, or something like that, to
have her nerves riveted and clinched that
way. But when she walked up on the
sand she was a strapping beauty of
girl of twenty-a girl right out Of pic
ture paper.
and when she found herself all right
and tottered to a seat in the sand and
began to half laugh and half cry, and all
that, why. she was just all girl. and no
mistake. But she'd had the brains to cut
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

raspy, but as easy as if tho man giving it
was standing on one leg on the sand
1--WE turned around in our seats. and
he was fifty feet away from u.s. and
floating on his back, with his face to-
ward us.
Take bit of a. run over here, will
your said the fellow who knew how to
swim, still in that quiet way as IL he
was asking for light for smoke
I'm four seconds we wore over along
side of him. The big chap was lying on
top of the water, his arms stretched out
at his sides. as limp as sword-flshed
walrus. His eyes were half-closed.
Nothing particular the matter, pals,
except that I'm all in,' he said. and he
didn't need to tell US that, for he wasn't
moving a muscle--the WEAKNESS in him
struck right to the marrow.
I'm a jiffy we got him into the boat
and laid him in the bottom of it.
Say, don't you fellows pull me in and
show me up before my wife. please he
said. with half grin-and then he wac
clean gone-as plumb tainted as a, woman
in wedding crush.
I'VE didn't pull him in We weren't GO
ing to show up a game duck like that
One of us poured some good booze down
his throat. and in a minute he was sit
ting up and looking us over.
Crazy plug for taking a chance like
that, wasn't ~ he said. L didn't know
the coming back thing was going to be
SO hard. Much obliged to you two Was
right close to the line. sure enough. and
then he dived over the side and swan
leisurely through the rollers and -,alked
kind of lottery to the bathhouse.
Game guy, that chap. Wasn't
screech or a holler in him. He made a
little mistake, then did the best he knew,
and when his bad minute swung along he
gave us the quiet tip-off and let t go at
that.
Women. too, I've been noticing in the
last year or so up and down the beaches.
have been getting the clutch on them
selves. Not a tenth as many of them
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18
7IDDLE-BUYING YARN

something they've no use for whaA YER
sort o to get hunk for past years Of I'M
yieldingness, as it were-the long years
when they did as they burned please.
And it's good practice, too. to make 'em
bid on things that they don't want or
need. Moreover. hypnotic auctioneering
vast as it's strides have been, is yet. of
course, in an early stage Of development.
and SO We like to experiment in difficult
cases."
THE method?" we inquired. IT'LL in
credulous.
Simplest thing in life. Pick out your
man. Transport him to Poppyville by the
hypnotic route-get his eye, that Is, and
make him yours-Own him. Then put up
the article you want to sell. Make him
bid on it. When you've got him going.
pick out your other man. Corral this
one. too. with your eyes; possess him.
Make him bid against No. 1.
Keep 'em at it till you think you've
gone far enough. 1t doesn't do to COM
pletely impoverish a subject all at one
time. you see. Then knock the article
down to whichever one of the two you
like the looks of least or feel the least
sympathy for. Easy? Why; It's cold
bottles and hot birds On a coal shovel;
Since / adopted commercial hypnotism as
a grafton, well, just look me over,
that's ALL"
And the ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS grinned
oleaginously and felt of a large sap
phire scarf pin, trimmed by blue-white
diamonds. to see If 1t was still there.
Had a queer case no later than yes
terday," he went on. WAS selling off
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

and tired, this comic-supplement idea.
that as soon as the seashore and noun
tain delegation of better halves gets out
of town all the summer widowers begin
to cut up didoes and wear shiny spots
in the high places.
According TO the general view of the
situation. soon the wife of an aver
age summer widower boards a train for
Tickles-on-the-Pike Oddes-by-the
Ocean said devilish person. being tenn
porarily disconnected from home and fire.
side Immediately begins TO Stake his
thirst in "a neighboring rumorium and lis
ten for the frou frou of unattached
skirts.
Then the summer widower, having test
ed the preliminary descent on the moral
soboggan, Immediately begins to map out
a campaign of assorted deviltry that
would make the late lamented Julius Q.
Caesar take to the mizzen peak. lie
Zines with dizzy danes at fanned-by-
the-breeZe resorts. laps up variegated al
rohol with the avidity of tin-canned
er night at fifty buy-in freezeout, slaps
a bundle on the outlaw ponies running
at fixed track in Indian Territory,
steams home in a sea going night liner
al dawn every morning. and generally
behaves like an inspired red. white and
blue idiot. That. l say. seems to be the
generally accepted theory of the regular
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

leg had been broken when Salter had
hurled him out of the same window
Harper got out his guns the instant
he threw Salter out of the window and
covered the bunch in the corner again.
They'd been afraid to take a shot at Har-
per while he was dragging Salter to the
window for fear Of hitting the gambler
Now. / ain't got nothin' ag'in the bows
that's been stackin' up ag'in this brace
game remarked, Harper. resuming his
gun-fanning move. 'ceptin' that they'd be
a sight better Off If they'd play bean-bsg
or mumblety-peg or somethin' like that
stead o tryin t whop a brace two-at-a-
chp game OF bank. But I sure am sorry
to we been 'bliged t stick up all hands in
order t git away with this little play.
Whicn IS all on account of dude brother
o mine that gifts the bum end OF 1t in
thls we're honkatonk recent But IL any
or you
Bang! went the report of a gun. The
snot came from the door. SaIter. with
his broken leg. had crawled I'D the stairs
ana with a gun the greaser doorman had
handed him had tried for Harper's head
The ball went wide a couple of inches
ana the next time Salter's trigger came
GOWN there was nothing but a snan.
mere were no more cartridges in the
gun. 80 e
Harper killed Salter where he 1ar
never move being made by the buncb
rounded up in the corner Then Harner
backed out of the room, and that was tbe
end of the incident" '"'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

out all the girl business until she d had
the time for 1t.
II only mention that one as an example
of how the women folks are coming
around in their behavior In the surf when
things fall out bit bad for them. And
you can't tell me that that doesn't come
pretty nigh proving that women are get
ting more sense all the time.
But some of them are getting to be
great kidders in the water. and when you
come to think it over you'll conclude
that the surf isn't much of a place tor
any kind of kidding. One morning last
badly stung by a woman in the water. but
I'm pretty sure she'll not do 1t any
more.
That forenoon we had the boat out
sides there were a lot Of chesties show
ing on beyond the roller line to their
beach-planted dolls. and the chesties are
little bit more liable to need to be picked
out than other folks because they exert
themselves SO overmuch in trying to
make good
We'll we were smoking our pipes and
keeping the boats nose against the
sneaky tall ones when We heard a high
c screech about forty yards abaft Of US.
dozen of 'em, all in a sudden row. and
both Of us lost good pipes overheard in
our hastiness to get the right kind Of
grab on our oars to go after the screecher.
When We got the boat turned around
we saw just head on top of the water
from where the squawking had come
from. 1t was a womans head Of bronze
hair. with black bow tied right cute on
the top OF it. She seemed to be lying
face forward on the water.
when we'd pulled the boat to within
about ten yards Of that bronze head We
got the singing. The bronze head sud-
denly lifted. and a mighty pretty young
woman. with a tan-freckled face and a
snub nose. looked up at us out Of pair
Of blue eyes as big as moss agates.
Now, I'm not lying nor exaggerating,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

''Saiter wheeled with a curse I'D picked
I'D the faro table nearest the window. 1t
landed with q crash on the board side
walk below. Gold and silver and paper
money, chips and cards and box went
with it.
18th next one said Harper. who stood
there quietly tanning his guns. as If he
wasn't in instant danger of death from
the men in the corner.
"Salter threw the next nearest table
out, with all on top of 1t. Then he
chucked the third and fourth tables out.
for Harper had him impaled with his eye
and covered with one OF his guns.
Now said Harper, after Salter had
tossed the last OF the tables out Of the
window and stood regarding Harper for
all the world like grizzly with whole
fore-auarter in a trap. you follow your
layout
Harper was three inches shorter in
stature and weighed fully forty pounds
less than Salter. who was a giant in
strength. But Harper suddenly jabbed
his guns into his belt. the bunch herded
in the corner never making a move. and
in two bounds he had Salter around the
middle Salter, before being grabbed that
way. had made a dive for his desk to nail
a gun, but he wasn't sudden enough.
Harper lifted him clear of the ground,
like a grocery boy lifts a ten-pound bag
Of -four. and Salter landed below on the
plank sidewalk, his left leg broken just
below the knee. That, by the way, was
the exact place where Harper's brothers
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18
BATFIERS ARE NOT MUCH ON THE AFRAID THING

mean, who plant a bunch of girls on the
sand and then start out to swim to Mo-
zambiQue, to show the skirts how strong
they are and what monkey they can
make of the deep sea. The chesties are
always looking out of the tails of their
eyes to see if they're being observed and
getting the big mitt from the other bath
ers and from the folks on the beach.
This chap, though, as / say. wasn't
chesty. He just wanted to swim, and
there wasn't room for It inside the COM
Der line. for there were thousands of peo-
pie in the surf. So he just struck out.
not taking much account of the out
swrling tide-maybe he didn't know that
the tide was going out.
las he dolphined out past the lifeboat
he gave my watchmate and l a good
natured nod. If we'd thought he was go
ing out so far we'd have sung out to him
then about how much easier 1t Is to go
with the moon-turned waters than it is to
fight them on the way back. But we
didn't know. So he got about three hun
bred yards beyond the boat before we
noticed him again.
When we noticed him again he was
coming back. and with the same fine
strong stroke.
THAT fellow can swim some,' says my
watchmate in the boat to me then. for
he was doing the trick against the swirl
In a way that couldn't help but catch the
eye of men that spend most of their time
studying that game.
I'VE didn't turn around from the surf
crowd to look him over again until he
was within about 200 feet of the boat.
Coming a bit slower for 1t now,
hey?' said my mate to me. and I no.
ticed 1t then, too. He had quit the over
hand stroke for the breast stroke.
oh. he's just taking his time said I.
I'VE had to keep the boats nose TO the
combers. but about minute later We
heard a call from behind us.
Hey, there, pals, was the CALL not
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

either, but what dye suppose she did
then? Why, hope l may never sit down
In front of another pan of hash IL she
didn't spread out the fingers of both
hands and then put the end thumb of one
hand to her pretty snub nose and then
wiggle those ten fingers at US. II she
didn't, damme.
ION top Of that she gave us the merry.
gurgling boot. and then she started to
swim away from us. Man, but how that
sassy baggage of girl could swim. She
swan right out around the long pier GO
ing like left-behind porpoise that's run
ming to join the school. and we had to pull
hard to get her. 1t was funny and all
like that, but 1t was dangerous and
against some rules that beach guards
know about. We got her and yanked her
into the boat.
THAT was real cunnin', lady, said
my watchmate to the girl, perfectly re-
spactful but kind O. sore at that as [
was. You swim real nice, so you do
Never saw a better swimmer newheres,
in or out of bathing skirt. But us feliers
amt planted along the beaches just to he
fooled UP hull lot, but to pick folks out
Of the water that need us. If they all fell
to stringing us that way we'd never
know which of 'em needed US. and there'd
be some lonesome and heartsick people
mourning around and wonde ring why the
lifeguards hadn't tended to their BUSH
ness. All of that being the case, YOU
don't swim on this water front any more
I'm sorry. but that goes
''She f1ared up like spitfire at that.
and said she'd find out who owned the
Atlantic ocean, and then she went to her
bathhouse. But when she appeared on
the beach in her bathing toys on the fol-
lowing morning there was a patrol beach
guard on hand to tell her that she might
just as yell go in and get her Boardwalk
cloth hes on again-that there wasn't any
room for her in these pillows. And she
hasn't been in the Atlantic City waters
since, either"
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

'Salter,' said Harper to the boss of
the plant, who sat at his desk like man
carved out of stone, come over yere to
me-a-runnin'.'
"Salter. to the establishment of all
hands, got up from his desk in hurry
and walked over close to Harper at a
pretty nifty pace.
That's near enough said Harper,
still tanning his guns SO as to keep the
bunch in order. What's this I'm a-hear-
in about your pickin' on that dude
brother o. mine?
"'Oh. he dropped his coin and he made
beef said Salter. with bad look in
his eyes. Then. when he got messy, he
was dropped out Of window
"'Who done the droppin'?' inquired
Harper. not looking at Salter, but watch
ing every move of the rest of the Salter
crowd of employees and pluggers.
"Salter hesitated until Harper's blood
shot, f1re-spitting eyes pinned him.
II did, he replied then.
SO I heard said Harper. quietly.
Then. in a voice that could be heard
a block, he gave the command:
All hands sashay to that corner over
yonder.' indicating by nod of his head
the corner Of the room where there was
the most space. The men In front of and
behind those faro tables knew that it was
lottery as to who'd get it first if the
order wasn't obeyed instantly. They rose
as one man-dealers, lookouts and play
ers--and glided to the corner indicated.
You stay where you stand Harper
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

in advance the fellows who looked like
they were going to shoot. Harper knew
Salter. and he knew all about those four
sudden propositions who sat in the look
out chairs too.
'A1l the same. on the night after he'd
got that letter from his brother, Dan
Harper showed up at the entrance to
Salters layout. He hadn't stopped to
see his broken-legged younger brother
He just wanted to see Salter and see
him quick.
There was a half-greaser in the door,
and this greaser. under instructions, tried
to tell Harper that he couldn't get in.
Harper gave the Mexican a slap in the
face and then the foot. The next instant
he was in the layout. waving his forty
fives from side to side, SO as not only to
cover Salter who sat at a desk, and the
lookouts and dealers. but the whole bunch
who sat playing at the four tables.
1T would have been the simplest thing
in life for any one of those four dealers
to have pOked his hand into a drawer
and to have got the ready-to-hand gun
out. 1t would have been taking a chance
however, for Dan Harper was known to
be the limited mail when it came to get
ting next to quick moves of this kind
Yet. If 1t had been done, Salter and the
rest would have been spared a whole lot
of humiliation
But it wasn't done Not a man Of
them made a move, except that the play
ers screwed their heads around to see
what was going to happen.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

\ singular case of this sort cropped
out in a trial by general court-martial of
a soldier at one of the Arizona cavalry
posts a few years ago.
The enlisted man. who was the young
est son of wealthy citizen of Cleveland
had been expelled from West Point for
wildness and a general disregard of the
rules of the Military Academy Rather
than face the humiliation of returning
home he went to New York city and en-
listed as private in the cavalry arm.
est brother had obtained commission in
the army from civil life, and he was
serving with his troop of cavalry at an
Arizona post at the time his younger
brother became a buck private
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18
HAVE COMMERCE WITH BROTHER BUT TOOK HIS PART

Tucson. The youngster had gone up
against Salter's brace game, and, after
the phony bank had got all of his gilt
some $500, Salter and his bunch had drop
ped him out of a second-story window,
and the fall had broken one of his legs.
Dan made a Decline for Tucson ten
minutes after he'd got that note from
Tucson.
Now, this Fred Salter was a pretty
evil honbrey for anybody to play tag
with. He'd been running flyer faro lay
outs all over the southwest and the
Rocky mountain country for years, and
he'd never been known to duck or blanch
when the toughest of his victims had
started in to puncture his fixtures after
dropping their rolls. He'd always stay
right along until the smoke had drifted
out Of the windows, and then. if any
trouble over dead people doomed up in
front of him. he'd just fold up his layout
and mooch along to the next stand. He
was a gun tanner and a knife fighter
proper, and up to the time of this Dan
Harper incident nobody had ever given
him a call and got by with It.
''Salter ran four tables at his Tucson
outfit, and he'd picked out every one of
his four lookouts for their quickness on
the trigger and their foXiness in sizing up