davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22
jerome Vanished.

Jerome K. Jerome once figured In
what the reporters call a mysterious
disappearance" On a wager he agreed
to vanish, and took himself off while
his friends were still on the alert He
disappeared while they were reading &
mysterious letter which. he handed to
one of the party. When last seen he
was stepping aboard a bathhouse on
the Thames. Then for a month he
seemed to have gone out of existence.
His friends put the police on his track.
calling for his arrest for stealing the
boat A month passed and then the
novelist and the boat appeared at the
latter's old moOrings What he had
done was simply to take the boat a lit
tie up stream, then, during the night,
erase her name and substitute another.
and change the color OF the paint here
and there so as to render her as unlike
her former self as possible. His
scheme was success in every particu-
lar.-Cleveland Leader
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22
The Dixzv WhirI.

eve are attempting altogether too
rapid a pace said the conservative
citizen.
That's quite true" answered Mr..
Sirius Barker. Instead Of being con-
tent to have the earth go around once.
In twenty-fOur hours, we'd like to have
it go around twenty-four times in one
hour Washington Star.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22
Getting Even.

From time immemorial there had
been a law in Apologize, County War
wick, England, to the effect that the
mayor had the best Of everything in
town, and, for instance, one should
say he had the best coat in the place
he must add the words, Except the
mayor"
One day a stranger came to Apple
cate and had dinner there at the Inn.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

Modern improvements have their
dangers. 4 man whose barn is lighted
by electricity attempted TO pull what
ne thought was the cord which turns
on the current. Instead, he pulled a
mules tail A great light dawned on
him very suddenly,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

The railroads Of this country killed
about 1900 people last year, II per
cent more than during the preceding
year. In justice to the railroads it
should be explained that a good many
Of the killed employed chauffeurs who
had no respect for the Look Out-for-
the-Looomotive" sign.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22
Now and Then.

Diogenes 600 B. C.)-My lamp is
nearly out and have not yet found
an honest man.
Subpoena Server (19O6)-I have been
everywhere, but they are too slick for
me. 1 can't find those dishonest fell
lows.-American Spectator.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

Pedestrian Weston complains that
the roads are'no better than they were
forty years ago Considering the wear
and tear of forty years, it may be a
matter OF qualification to know that
thy are no worse.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

A French inventor announces that he
hes discovered a method of sending
snapshot photographs by submarine ca
BILE This will have a depressing effect
upon American tourists in Paris.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22
His Lob Safe

81 wish the company would discharge
thot conductor. He's the most uncivil
man | ever saw
THAT may be, but he can crowd more
passengers into a car than any con-
ductor on the pay Chicago Trib
me
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22
The Sights.

The Englishman-Oh yes! America
is a wonderful country.
The American Girl-What did you
see there?
The Englishman-Niagara Falls, the
Turkish room at the Waldorf and the
Chicago stock yards.-American Spec
tator.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22
AInhnhaficnI.

The kindergarten children are strug
CLING with the alphabet.
who can tell what comes after g p
asks the teacher. Silence Naigns.
Again she questions, Doesn't any
one know what comes after CT
Then Carleton raises his hand. Il
do" he says. "Whiz. Gee whiz. =
Woman's Home Companion.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22
DiScnurarPIslenf.

Don't you want TO make speech
that will be remembered by posterity?"
NO" answered Senator Sorghum /;
latter hearing some of Daniel Web
ster's orations delivered in schools,
don't care about t.''-Washington Star,
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

Now London physician comes for
ward with the statement that kissing is
bad for the teeth. The physicians are
gradually working up to the point of
declaring that cOrns and buniOns are
caused by promiscuoNs osculatiOn.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

Clever people in Chicago have been
making "fresh buttermilk" of skinned
milk and Tactic acid. But a bogus ar
ticle of that kind would never fool any
body who has ever drank the genuine,
fresh from the old wooden churn Of
blessed memory.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

Sir Robert Reid was welded In Lon
don. If this is the Little Robert
Reid" we used to know, we beg to ten
der to the bride cur respectful felicita-
tions upon obtaining a husband Of such
exemplary habits. But perhaps he
hasn't lived up to his early promise.
Very few Of Us have.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22
His Conception of a Joke.

II fooled a banker friend of mine
to-day"
How was that?'
why, 1 went up to him and said,
Can l draw out $50Y Certainly, he
replied. Then I had my laugh"
But 1 don't see any joke about
that
Don't you? Why, l hadn't any
money in the bank. Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

what is extravaganza? asks the St
Louis Globe-DemOcrat Generally it is
the way the other fellow spends his
money.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

try is tranquil, and the future looks
promising for the prince who now
ascends the throne. All the world will
wish him and Sweden well.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

The persimmOn crop has been I'M
usually large this year, but lot of the
gentlemen who do business in Wall
street seem to have mislaid their poles.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

Certainly the man who designed the
new gold coins knew what he was DO
Ing when he put the eagle in that fly
away-birdie attitude.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

Has 1t Ever Occurred 10 You.
When the frost is on the pumpkin,
And the folders in the shock,
Then it makes a fellow figure,
How to get his coat from ''hock."
The Bohemian.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

In this age Of the world let no in
ventor's dream be declared impossible
Of fulf1llment. Keep your eye on the
Ryroscopic railway car with the single
rail.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

In spite of all the protests against
boarding it will be just as well to go
on urging the children to save their
money instead of buying candy.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22
Surprising.

Yesterday was my birthday"
Il suppose your husband gave you
a little surprisef"
''Oh, yes. He came home before mid
night. cleveland Plain Dealer.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22
Lack of Material.

DOlly-Cholly boasts that he always
says exactly what he thinks.
POlly-Cholly can't be much Of a
talker then.-Somerville Journal
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

Being a hypocrite is bad enough,
but it does not make as many people
uncomf ortable as brutal frankness does
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

The hungry sheep that ate each 9th
er's wool were certainly In sheer dis
nesS
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-01-22

No man can do his best work with
out an objective outside of himself.
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-12-08
IH E EI,IT E
Special Christmas Suggestions !

Christmas shoppers should visit store and see
our splendid assortment of the following goods that
suitable presents for ladies':
Hand Bags, Neckwear, RufHings Ruchings, Back
Combs Beauty Pins Handkerchiefs, Furs Waists Silk
Waists Umbrellas, Redfern Whalebone Corsets Opera
Scar and all the little things ladies aud that
always appreciated for present.
Special Prices on Furs, to close out
Special Prices on Gordon Dye Silk Hose to close out
Special Prices on Trimmed Hats to close out
Special Prices onNetWalsts and Silk Waists to close out
Special Values in Handkerchiefs
We have A BEAUTIFUL ASSORTMENT OF LINEN AND SWISS
HANDkERC1IEFS
goods at this time of the Buy Christmas and
Call and see goods before buying. We know
convince you we have the best for the least money
/. & G. 3. Anderson
Second and Jefferson Streets, Corvallis
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-12-08
local AND PERSONAL

Will Showers made business
visit to Blodgett last week.
John Chambers was in from
Kings Valley, Wednesday, on
business.
F. A. King, who has been i'll
for the past few weeks, is now
recovering.
Miss Cecile Muriel Dodd, a
student at OAC, is reported to be
seriously ill.
The little babe of Rev. Hub
bell is very sick with eresypelis
at the home.
Miss Grace Morgan spent last
week in Monroe, the guest of
friends there.
Miss Eta Hall has gone to
Cottage Grove to visit relatives
for a few weeks.
Mesdames P. L. Chapman and
C. c. Chapman visited relatives
in Dallas last week.
Mrs. Will Horning is visiting
her parents. Mr.. and Mrs. J. L.
Logan, at Kings Valley.
Alex. Basy has sold his farm
five miles south of town to w.
III. Bollner, of Portland.
Mrs. Martha Burnett returned
Saturday from an extended visit
to relatives at Portland.
Miss Florence Wicks is here
from Portland, visiting her
mother for a short time.
The Concordia Club was en-
tertained by Mrs. Grant Elgin
last Thursday afternoon.
A. D. Hill, the popular teach
'er of the Wren school, was here
last week attending the Institute.
Lowell w. Mason, of Salem, is
ill at the home of his mother,
Mrs. J. Mason, in this city.
G. W.. Johnson was over from
Mill City yesterday visiting his
parents, Mr.. and Mrs. A. P.
johnson.
A joint institute of the Benton
and Linn counties w. G. T. U.
is being arranged for early in
January.
= Arthur Berman went to Mon
yesterday to accept a po-
sitlon as pharmacist in a drug
store at that place.
MIR. and Mrs. Bert VanHousen
are rejoicing over the arrival of
a five pound boy. The little
stranger arrived Dec. I'd.
Miss Winnie Logan has re-
turned to her home in Kings I
after a pleasant visit to t
friends in this city. (
New arrivals are constantly
coming to Corvallis, three fam
lies having arrived last week
from Texas. II
Arnold King, who has been
very sick with typhoid fever at !
Albany, was able to visit friends .
IN Corvallis Saturday. He has
many friends here who will be
pleased to hear of his recovery. u
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-12-08

/ Alex Rennie, of Spokane, was
in the city last week attending
to business matters and visiting
friends and relatives.
Mrs. F. L. Miller will enter
tain the young ladies and young
men of the Presbyterian Sunday
School on Friday evening.
Mrs. Frank Francis is recov-
ering nicely from the operation
she recently underwent for
hernia.
Rev. J. R. N. Bell was a Port
land visitor over Sunday and
his pulpit was filled by Rev. DR..
H. G. Marshall, of Shedd.
DR.. B. A. Cathey has as his
guests w. G. Cathey, of Gres-
ham, Oregon, and his brother,
George Cathey, from Missouri.
Among the Mountain View
attendants at the Teachers In
stitute last week were Misses
Alice Fleming and Myrtle Lang
ley.
Misses Nora Sorenson and
Anna Lindgren, the well known
Corvallis teachers, went to Mon
mouth last Tuesday to visit the
schools at that place.
Arrangements are now being
made by the Home Missionary
society OF the M. E. church to
give an interesting progressive
party in the near future.
The people of the Bellefoun-
tain school district are circulat-
ing a petition to enlarge the dis
triot by taking in the Oaks, Hol-
ter and Malcolm communities.
The Teachers Institute last
week was attended by Mrs. R.
J. Nichols and her two daugh-
ters, and Miss Coda Howard, of J
Monroe, and Miss Mildred Bu-
chanan, of Bruce.
The w. G. T. U. met Thursday
with Mrs. Agnes Thompson and
spent pleasant and enjoyable
afternoon. A general social
chat and dainty refreshments
were the features.
Doctors Cathey, Farra and
Pernot attended the regular
quarterly meeting of the Central
Willamette Medical Association
which was held at Albany last
Thursday evening. L
J. L. Underwood, of Lebanon,
was looking after business mat
,ers in Corvallis Saturday. He
made many warm, personal
friends while living here who !
are always glad to see him. K
A grand military hop will be
given at the college armory Sat-
lrday night, December 12, by
he officers OF Battalion OAC ca
lets. This event is expected to {
'e one Of the principal social
unctions of the season.
. Robbie Conn, who married t
Mss Rova Mcfarland, at AL
'any, last week, has decided to
ocate permanently in that city, I
le having secured a good posi-
ion there as expert electrician
With the Willamette Valley COM
'any. le
Corvallis gazette. [volume] (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, 1908-12-08

| pl0dSdd1ly CheCA ooAAoo = - -
afternoon by the Misses Sarah
and Eda Jacobs. Among the
enjoyable features was musical
lecture and several excellent
piano selections by Prof. &. Tai
lander.
Have look at our new pyro-
graphic wood. Graham & Wells.
Next Wednesday night at the
fopera house Eckhardt's Ideals
will open two nights engage
ment with bowling farce
Browns in Town" On Thurs
day night they will produce Ber-
tina NJ. Clay's famous novel,
"Dora Thorne."
Hot drinks and ham sand
wiches at the Palace of Sweets.
12-S-tf
A call has been received by
Rev. G. H. Feese, who was sta
toned here for three years, to
the Methodist Episcopal church
at Coquille, Oregon. Rev. Feese
has recently been engaged in
evangelistic work, but will now
remove his family to Coos coun-
ty.
A hobo giving the name Of
Frank Gibson, has occupied the
little mansion in the court house
yard for the past few days. The
whole world seems blue to him
and the atmosphere was also
blue for a few minutes when
Chief Wells proposed street
work.
Have your spectacles and eye
glasses fitted by one who knows
how. Matthews, the Optician,
over First National Bank.
The Ellsworth Women's Re-
lief Corps is making rapid prog
ress in the matter of member
ship, six candidates having been
initiated at the last meeting. The
ladies are desirous of having
as large a roll as possible before
the convention meets here next |
June.
The only place to get bargains
in watches, jewelry, cut glass,
etc. is at Matthews, the Optician
and Jeweler, over First National
Bank.
Among the many attractive
window displays made by the
Corvallis merchants to introduce
the merry Christmastide, that of
Henkle & Davis is worthy of
the dainty array of
handkerchiefs and the illumi-
mated balloon design causing
,ommendation from admiring
shoppers. Il
Save from Is to so per cent on
Xmas presents by buying at
Matthews, the Optician and Jew
9ler, over the First National
Bank. II
There were six limitations at
he last regular meeting of the
W. r. c.. after which the entire
corps was entertained by the
PRESIDENT, Lydia Bulls. The
refreshments were Delicious and
we're enjoyed by all. On Dec.
Il there will be election Of Off
,ers and all w. r. C. members
ire earnestly requested to be
present. Julia M. du Moulin.
All members of the Knights
# the Maccabees are requested
o be at Lodge Wednesday eve
ling, December 9, as there will
'e election of officers and other
business. 12-8-1t
Captain McAlexander, COM
nandant of the OAC cadets, has
ully demonstrated his reputa-
ion as a master at tactics, he
laving brought all the COM
oanies Of the corps up to the
highest proficiency in the man
lal and made the boys fully
'qual to regulars in the excel
ence of their drill and battalion
There is not a fin
r body of cadets at any state in
titution than OAC now deserv-
'dly boasts. II
The Arizona sentinel., 1908-05-06
Relief From Rheumatic Pains.

Il suffered with rheumatism for over
two years. says Mr., ROLAND Curry, a
patrolman Of Key West. Fla. Some
times it settled in my knees and famed
me SO I could hardly walk, at other
times it would be in my feet and hands
50 I was incapacitated for duty. One
night when WAS in severe pain and
lame from it, Ply wife went TO the drug
store here ana came back with bottle
of Chamberlain Pain Balm. / was
rubbed with it and found the pain had
nearly gone during the night. I kept
on using it fer little more than two
weeks and found that it drove the
rheumatism away. have not had any
trouble from that disease for over
three months " For sale by Ketcher-
side Drug Store.
The Arizona sentinel., 1908-05-06

j. w. Darlington. editor of the Sen
tinel, is in San Francisco this week to
participate in the welcome to the
American fleet, which is due to swing
through the Golden Gate into San
Francisco BAY today. 1t is estimated
that there are eight hundred thousand
expectant people there to witness the
great event.
Elinor Glyn, author of "Three
Weeks" thinks that American men
should marry women older than them
selves, giving as q reason that only age
and experience brings capabilty for
managing man. The trouble about
that Is that most American men want
to manage themselves.
Joe BaIsz went to Tucson as a Federal
trial juror, but put up good excuse
to the Judge and got released and came
home to lock after more important
business-at least more important to
him.
The Pioneer Transfer COMPANY has
added to its livery equipment a fine
new buggy and a blackboard, from the
stock of the Sanguinetti implement
department.
Prof. S. G. Newsom of the University
Of Arizona faculty, has been employed
as superintendent of the Tucson public
schools at a salary of $4,000 per year,
for four years.
Althee Modesti has returned from
Los Angeles, his family remaining
there, where the children will attend
school.
FOR RENT-5-room house cor
ner First and Main streets.
Inquire at Sentinel office.
John Gandolfo, Sr., left for Los An
geles this morning to join his family
for few days visit.
lfyou have anything to sell,
advertise in the Sentinel.
The Arizona sentinel., 1908-05-06
Special Appropriations.

Engineer L. G.. Hill, who is in charge
of the reclamation projects in Arizona,
is at the national capital using every
endeavor to secure special appropria-
tions from congress for facilitating re-
clamation work in this section. 1t will
probably be no easy matter to convince
the 'wise men Of the east" in the ma
tiOnal congress that money expended
in this way Will bling returns ii hun
bred fold to both state and nation; but
Mir. Hill is to be commended for try
ing, anyway, and it is to be hoped he
may succeed. 1t should be the policy
Of the government TO complete these
irrigation projects as soon as possible,
50 that there may be Il new channel for
the flow of repaid money into the re-
clamatiOn fund, for the starting of
other projects and the final reclama-
ton Of all the cultivabe arid lands.
This is one Of the features Of the re-
clamaLiOn act the Importance of which
does not seem to have percolated
through the labyrinLhs OF the average
congressman mind, as yet.
The Arizona sentinel., 1908-05-06
Mexlcans Honor Brave Soldier.

Yesterday, May 5hh, was the ami
yersary of what is considered one of
MeXico's greatest holidays. In Yuma
the ladies of Zaragoza .odge took the
matter in hand and gave ball, which
was one of the most enjoyable events
held here,
The occasion OF the celebration was
in recognition of the victory of Gen.
TgnaciO Zaragoza with 1900 Mexican
troops pitted against force of 5000
French soldiers May ), 1862, in the
battle at Cerro Loretta Guadalupe
during the administration of President
BenitO Juarez and which battle marked
the secondary independence of Mexico
and the brief reign of Maximillian in
McNic0.
The Sociedad Zaracoza on "Cineo de
MAYO" of each year does honor to Gen.
Laragoza, who fought his great and de-
cisiye battle at the age of 81 years and
whose brief career as soldier WAS
ruthlessly ended shortly after the battle
at the hands of Swiss cook who ad-
ministered poison in manner to pro
ducr death and which deed was insti-
gated by the enemies Of the victorious
general.
The Arizona sentinel., 1908-05-06
Laugh and the World Laughs With
YOU -

What pity that every man, woman
and even child, in Yuma could not
have heard and enjoyed the splendid
lecture by Thomas McClary Thursday
night at Masonic hall. Instead, there
was only handful" present.
In McClary's emission of Mirth''
there is a most remarkable blending of
the sublime and the ridiculous-humor
and pathos, philosophy and wit, and
through it all courses the rich vein OF
the good and wholesome lessen: That
smiles and a sunny disposition are
more valuable than gold-in the bust
ness world, in society, in every walk of
life; best for morals, best for health,
best for Yourself your friends, every
body.
The only way to do justice to DR..
McClary's lecture would be to print it
in full hut in that there would be
lacking still the best part-the wonder
full powers CT the speaker, who COM
bines the most remarka bic art and tall
ent of the orator. the actor, the COM
edian and the humorist. One moment
he would have the audience convulsed
with laughter, and the next, without
apparent effort, he would glide into the
realms of patho5, creating at once d
demand for handkerchiefs to check the
threatening tears.
Mr.. McClary has way of rolling
his tongue into his cheek and express
ing mirth with his eyes that makes
you laugh at the man us well as at his
sayings; he is a comedian. He is also
u philosopher, and aside from his own,
gave some quotations from the lament
ed Josh Billings. Here is one:
"There liz about as much sense in a
man holding a grudgc as there would
be to kerry around as q keepsake the
singer of hornet that had lit onto
him"
And this:
'A man who kin ware q paper collar
whole week and keep it clean amt
fit for much else"
OF the motto on the coins, Mr.. Nc
CIary suggested that it ought to read.
1.-THE God we trust" And that the
American hen should be substituted
for the American eagle on the coins.
as the hen had done something worth
while, but all the eagle had ever done
was to carry of a few children. lie
thought Mr.. Roosevelt might, perhaps,
want to put on the stork in place of the
eagle.
The Arizona sentinel., 1908-05-06
VALLEY DOINGS.

County Assessor Meeden and w. E.
Marvin made the rounds in Yuma
Valley on Monday. They report that
the Somerton people have six four
hGIsa teams at work ON the three and a
quarter mile extension of the govern
ment canal. This work will be COM
pleted within ten days or about the
time the reclamation service officials
expect to make the connection BET ween
the old Farmers gravity canal and the
new heading.
A big force of Indians is employed by
the reclamation service in cleaning out
the bitches of the gravity system in the
lower end of the valley.
In anticipation of the greatly i'm
proved water service to be afforded
shortly by the reclamation service, a
big acreage of new land is being clear
ed and leveled for the growing of crops.
Messrs Meeden and Marvin failed to
find any damage done to- the canta-
loupe crop by the severe wind of Sat-
urday night and Sunday.
The Arizona sentinel., 1908-05-06
1t Reached the SDot-

Mr.. E. Humphrey, who owns n large
general store at Omega, o., and is
president of The Adams County Iele-
phone Co., as we'll as of the Home Tel
ephone Co., of Pike Cnuniy, O., says Of
DR.. Kings New Discovery: sit saved
my life once. At least think it did. 1t
seemed to reach the spot-the very
seat of my cOuSh-when everything
else failed" DR.. Kings New Discovery
not only reaches the cough spot; it
heals the sore sp"ts and weak spots in
throat, lungs and chest. Sold under
guarantee at all drug stores. at sc and
51.G0 Trial bottle free.