davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1908-04-15
SLIGHTLY HUMOROUS.

IL there is such a thing as a perfect
woman II must be one who Is able TO
conceal her imperfections.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1908-04-15

Money makes the mare go--or
come or stay. according TO the way
n ialks 10 tho lnckey.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1908-04-15
Daily Thought.

Great trials seem to be necessary
preparation for great duties
Thomson.
The Paducah evening sun. [volume] (Paducah, Ky.) 1906-1929, 1908-04-15
You DON'T HAVE TO WAIT

Every dose makes you feeibetter. Lsx-Po
keeps your whole insides right Sold on the
money back plan everywhere. Price 30 cents.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
Famous Character 10 Dead.

An interesting personality has just
passed away at Brighton, England, in
William Oliver, marquis de Leuville.
OF striking though somewhat eccentric
appearance, the marquis was In his
younger days an exceedingly hand
some man. Both the early and latter
part Of his life was spent in England,
but for many years he resided in
France and Italy, and was a master
OF the languages of both countries OF
a naturally amiable disposition, he was
quick to resent affront. A skillful
shot, and more skillful swordsman,
he was the hero of several exciting
duels, while his remarkable encounter
with a. certain prince in Hyde Park
some years ago, when he left his car
riage to horsewhip publicly the de-
famer Of a lady with whom his name
was then associated, is still fresh in
the public memory. AS a writer Of
verse he was far above the average
as the several editions of his book
Entire Nous" will testify. Among the
numerous songs published under his
name perhaps the most successful wa
"The First Kiss" which ran into some
thing like 100000 copies.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
The Thirsty Veteran,

The pitiful poverty Of the army vet.
Grams, on whose behalf Earl Roberts
makes an appeal, has developed in
some Of them a subtle keenness In Sc.
curing for themselves those little lux
uries which want Of money prevents
them from obtaining in the ordinary
way. An aged hereof the Crlmean
war and Indian mutiny, who resided In
a remote village in Scotland, was one
day interviewed by party Of gentle.
men on an outing. They listened with
interest to the story Of the oh mans
share In the aforementioned cam.
paigns, and, after thanking him pro.
fusely, were about to depart. when the
aged warrior suddenly remarked
There's another thing, gentlemen
that oan recall to mind" "Ah. In
deed! What is that!" eagerly asked
the tourists, expecting to hear a mos,
interesting "Reminiscences.
Gentlemen" said the veteran In i'm
pressivs tones, II weel remember thai
was just a. thirsty during the whole
Of the battle Of Herman 40 am now!'
The party took the hint.-Dundee AID
vertiser.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
FORD ITEMS.

Miss Hazel Smith returned home from
Manhattan Wednesday where she has
been attending college.
Mr.. A Herzer Of Dalhart Texas visited
his brother, G.. P. Herzer last week.
Miss Goldie Cove left for Norton, Kas.,
Friday to visit her brother
The Misses Marie Lawrence and
Katherine Elliot, visited Lenore Morrl-
son last week.
Mr.. and Mrs. L. A. Lamb have moved
to their farm in the country.
Miss Eulalla Nevins visited her parents
over Sunday.
Quite number of people attended the
Band Boys Minstrel at BuckIin Friday
night. Some who were there were: Mr..
and Mrs. J. G. Bredehoft, Maude Alex
anier, E. Madison, Luther Hatfield, D.
Hollopeter, J. Sims and vern Clark.
Mr.. and Mrs. W. A. Balfour and
dauph ter Bess, visited Mrs. Balfour'a
parents Mr.. and Mrs. V. A. Walker OF
Fort Dodge last week.
The new warehouse Of the Nevin'a
Hardware store has been completed.
Ray gurnham left Saturday for Belle
font to visit his sister Mrs. E. Binley.
S. G.. Baldwin was born at Philadel-
phia, Pennsylvania, September loth'
1922. At the age of 81 he moved 10
Bellefontaine, Logan county, Ohio. On
December 3lst, 1868, he was married to
Mis- Hattie Pennock of Salem, Ohio
They moved to Custer county, Nebraska
In 1868. After living there twenty
eight years they moved to Ford county
in 1891 where he lived until his death
He passed away February 9th, 1908, al
Dodge City, age IS years, 6 months anc
10 days. He leaves a wife who resice'
afford and a brother at Kansas City tt
mourn his death. Mr.. Baldwin has livec
at Ford for the past IA years and he ha'
enjoyed good health until this winter.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

overabundsnt Sense OF Humor At
Times Proves Costly.

When Laugh and the world laughs
with you" was written, the author TOOK
ma fhousht of the autocratic ones OF
the earth who cannot see themselves
in anything approaching a ridiculous
light,
1t is related that the present car
of Russia, returning once from a long
Journey, was weary and In no MOOD
to be trifled with. AS he was pass
INK through his apartments he slipped
on a bearskin mat that lay on the
polished floor. Clutching at one OF
his attendants, he nearly brought him.
self and his SUPPORT to the floor
Baron Enidoff, at the time conf
dental adviser, could net check a
smile, which his monarch turned just
in time to observe. The next day
Eladoff was dismissed from his Of
flee, and lost the $4,000 attached tc
the post.
Another ruler who Ia not to be triflec
with Is William Of Germany. Gougl
Milbanke, a clever but bluff Scot, who
was an expert in colonial administra
ton, was once taken up by the kaiser
who wished his advice on eastern at
fairs, and had decided to give hin
an important position to guard Ger
man interests In China. At one o
their conferences the kaiser made al
absurd suggestion as to eastern diplC
macy. Milbanke laughed. The EN-
peror wished him frigid good night
and never received him again.
Another Scottish administrator, Dur
can McVea, was advising the late pleas
ant but touchy king Of Portugal, VIII
had planned to put the shaky govern
menf6f the Cape Verde islands in tn
hands of this skillful manager Tn
king became much excited, and mad
ludicrous botch of his English, whic
was usually excellent. McVea smile
audlbly, and was promptly ordere
away. He was never appointed to tn
governorship, which carried salar
of $4,000. ".-.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
A Tragedy.

A Mr. Nosmo King was questioned
about the oddly of his Cha IA
name.
1T is this way" he said; my moth
err made a point of giving all OF her
children unusual names. l was three
months old before she found one for
me that she liked. One day, while
out shopping. she saw on one-half of a
swinging door the word 'Nosmo, while
the other half bore King, her own
name.
"'Nosmo King she noted mentally,
not pegceiving that the letters spelled
no smoking when the doors were
closed; hence my lifelong affection.
Harper's Weekly.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
ITEMS FROM HOWELL.

MIR. and Mrs. Dierkiug we're in Syra-
cuse Friday.
MIR. Minor has purchased Mr.. KeeDey's
farm.
Several from here attended the box
supper at the Snyder school house
Friday night
Mr.. and Mrs. James Wright were In
Dodge City Saturday.
Mug Anders and M. A. Ferret were
In Cimarron Saturday on business.
Mr.. Anders aud Mr.. Dierking were In
Dodge City Monday.
Miss Della Anders returned to bel
school Sunday evening.
Albert Miller delivered hay In Dodg'
City Tuesday.
Rev. Price filled bis appointment
this place Sunday
Henry Rhodes and mother have move'
to the place vacated by Chas. Wright.
Misses Nora and Clara Dierhng spen
Sunday evening at Mr.. Wagner's.
Mr.. Wright of Missouri Is visiting hi
sons James and Charley Wright.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

Our Divine Heavenly Father has seen
fit In His wisdom to remove by death the
husband of our dear sister, Mrs. M. Il.
Morey. We, her sisters, In the lodge OF
the Grand Army Of the Republic. DO
hereby extend to her our heartfelt SYM
patty In her loss Of kind and devoted
husband, both to his family and to his
country. We further
Resolve, That the sister be presented
with copy of these resolutions, also that
they be published In the GLoBE-REp
L1CAN. MARY E. TULLIS,
CHARITY A. HARRIS,
Eta CARY,
Committee.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
Mans Endless Quest.

As great preacher once said:
"Man is continually looking for his
lost inheritance of happiness, which
the allegory Of the Garden Of Eden
prefigures. He knows 1t exists for
him somewhere. and he Is ever knock.
Ing. knocking generally at the wrong
door, OF sslnshness, greed, ambition
lust, ell sorts Of foolish doors: and we
call his mistaken seeking by . name,
tSfn.'"
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
Methodist Church.

The usual services will be held next
Sunday. The pulpit will be occupied
both morning and evening by Rev. G. A.
Platts, Dean Of our Southwest Kansas
college. AT the evening service a free
will offering will be taken for the col
lege. We invite you to attend the Sun
day school which meets promptly al
9:45. Young peoples meeting at $3.50
Strangers In the city are invited to wor'
ship with US.
F. W. IMBoDEN, Pastor.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

Ihave just returned from Kansas City
and Chicago with full line Of the new
eat and most attractive millinery ever
brought to this city. 1t will give me
pleasure to show the new spring styles to
all nv customers and friends Jen-
ME Williams. IL
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
Typewriter for sale, nearly new.
LII. TAYLOR & Co. II

Wanted for U. S. army: Able bodieo
unmarried men between ages Of Il ana
35. citizens OF United States. OF good
character and temperate habits, who can
speak, read and write English. Men
wanted for Philippine Service. For In
formation apply to Recruiting Oeieer,
room 2. above City Shoe etore, ~L5dge
City, Kas. u
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

The British admiralty ID consider
ing the possibility Of suDplanting coal
with OH in the mosquito" feet, the
swiftsst Of highlands war boats. A
feet OF naval tank steamers would
keep the depots supplied.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
Resolutions.
Fort Dodge, Kans March 4, 1908

Fort Dodge, Kans March 4, lsos'
IL hss pleased our Heavenly Father IN
His divine providence, 10 relieve by death
from long suffering disease the beloved
wife Of Comrade Flax. We, her sisters OF
the Grand Army of the Republic hereby
Resolve, That Comrade Fisk has our
heartfelt sympathy In his bereavement In
the loss of devoted wife, and we
hereby
Resolve, That copy Of these resolu'
lions be presented the family and also
published In the GLOBE RErUBLlCAN.
MARY Il. TULLrs,
CHARITY A. fARRIs,
ETA CARY,
Committee.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

Headquarters Henry Booth Command,
No. 8, U. V. U.
Whereas, agreat calamity has befallen
our comrade, John Brawnsworth in the
death OF his wife, who, after lingering
illness, departed this life January ~,
1908. Therefore, be 1t
Resolved, That we, the members OF
this command, do most sincerely sym
pathIze with him In the great loss be has
sustained. and we begto assure him that
he has the sympathy of each Individual
member hereof.
Resolved that copy of the above be
presen ted to our comrade, a copy fur
niahed the Dodge City papers and the
same made a part Of our command
records. j. M. HUSTON,
j. W. KEITH,
HENRY CAMP,
Committee
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

The Farmers Elevator & Supply Co.
will pay the highest market price for
corn, oats, kaffir corn and sorghum
seed.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

Shoemaker Shop under Beehive. All
kinds of repairing done by competent
workmen at reasonable prices.
81 JAMES SLACK, Proprietor
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

An ounce of action is worth a ton OF
III. think it-over. ct busy and see L..
L. TAYLOR & Co. for real estate snaps and
fire insurance. u
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

Three or four chicken ranches to rent,
two miles west Of Dodge City. Mich
COWS and horses furnished. Archie I.
Keech. ''
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

$40 acres of land five miles due south
of Dodge City. A very desirable tract
For Sale at $40 90 per acre. Address
Box 1872, Dodge Cityr
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

Call up phone 2S6, Transfer and
storage. All kinds of moving. Piano
moving specially. u
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

An ounce Of action 10 worth ton Of
I'll think-it-over. Get busy and see L.
L. Taylor & Co., for real estate snaps and
fire insurance. ~
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

An ounce Of action Ia worth ton or
ril-think .it-over. Get busy and see L.
L. TAYLOR & Co. for real estate snaps and
fire insurance.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
For Sale or Rent.

Southwest quarter of southeast quarter,
section 81, township %, range "a.
Address owner, Peter Brown, St.
Joseph, Illinois. u
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

FOR SALE - Team, spring wagon,
buggy and harness. Sturgeon Bros. 2t
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
Look Right.

Call at Mrs. Jennie Williams milliner!
store to see the new Look Right ha'.
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

For sALE-Barn l6x92 feet. Inquire
of J. F. O'Neal. II
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

Saws and scissors sharpened. b
Wing, basement DR.. Millions building
Saturdays and Tuesdays. u
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

Typewriter for sale, nearly new
L. L, TAYLOR & Co. tc
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
City Property For Sale.

City property. consisting of dwellings
and vacant lots, for sale. See e. Il.
Smith. u
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

FOR SALE-Fresh mich cow. George
johnson, Ensign Telephone line. Il
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

Eggs for Sale, Pure bred barred ock
81. 90 for IL. J. B. Martin, Dodge City,
Ks. u
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05


That was coming due,
Explained to his Broker
And it was true
SNOW am perfectly square
But I'm short, for fair
As my currency isn't
ELASTIC"
The Broker then 10
His landlord went
(You see be was slightly
Behind In bic remit
With pent-up feelings and pent-up purse
ssmy collections, be said, they couiun'
be WORSE"
Would you mind, just being
ELASTIC"
But the Landlord's wife
Could not understand,
When her husband cut out
Her weekly stipend.
..You ace. dear, its this way-the
currency's fixed =,
And all Of us more or lees slightly mixed"
Because IL isn't
ELASTIC"
And then at the Bridge
Club the very next day,
{She too was owing fine, by the way
"You see my husband
Says money lie tight, =.
But things, he believes, will work ou'
all right
II keep on using
ELASTIC
Her maid who was busting
The books next morn,
And making her rounds
With face forlorn
mutt re-. Oh the devil himself couldn't
shove this case,
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05
Globe
Wernicke
f~saSsestagga5AExOS
Fer Sale by the Hone
Furnishing Co.

So, whoever you see
oh, wherever you 60,
The password now
That seems to grow
In popular favor, Is one we coined.
But we don't mind, II 1t is purloined,
From our own trademark
ELASTIC"
The Globe-republican., 1908-03-05

Typewriter for sale, nearly new.
L. l.. TAYLOR 81 Co. II
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-12-19

an investigation, however. and be-
Iieves there will BE- developments.
The Sterling Laundry companys
machinery and other property was
valued al about $4,000. and only
81, 900 In insurance Was carried. The
building, which belonged to the Finch
estate. was valued at $4,000 and was
insured for $1,000 AS both the build
ing and contents were totally dea-
trOyed, the net less was about $4,000,
Mr.. W. b. COlonna. one OF the receiv-
ers for the Laundry, said yesterday
tina; the loss Of III" company would
be- not less than $40 900.
A large quantity Of clothing was
destroyed in the laundry and the deal
ers in mems furnishings did flourish
ing business yesterday. numbers OF
men being obliged 20 repienish their
stock of linen.
william Gordon. he tailor whose
place Is next door to the laundry had
HRS stock considerably damaged by
water. but carpot say what his los"
will be until the underwriters har"
made an examination.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-12-19
Transport Mcclellan Goes After
IWeayssveath Infantry.
CHANGES MADE N THE SCHEDULE
This Vessel Was Not Expected to
Make Trip to Havana Until Febru-
ary-Loading Stores and Supplies
at c. 4 O. Pier 4.

The United States army transport
Mcclellan will steam from this port
at 10 o'clock this morning for Ha-
vana. Cuba. to bring the Twenty
seventh United States Infantry. at
tached to the Army of Cuban Pacif-
cation. back TO this CITY The Nc
Clellan will reach Havana about next
Wednesday and she probably will
steam on the return trip from the
Cuban capital about The first Of Jan
uary.
According TO the schedule of the
return Of the troops from Cuba which
was issued by the war department on
December II, the Twenty-seventh In
fantry was not to leave Cuba until
April and the McCkila was not TO
go tc Havana after troops until Feb
ruary. Changes have been made in
this schedule. however. and the Nc
Clelan is expected to make several
trips in this service during the next
two months.
The Mcclellan. which has been
tied up at the local shipyard several
months. dropped down TO Chesapeake
& Ohio pier No. 1 yesterday morning
10 load stores and supplies before
starting on her voyage.
The transport Sumner steamed
Tue sday for Havana to bring bacS
the Twenty-eighth Infantry. She Will
leave Havana on January 2.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-12-19
sIROxGeSr EVIDENCE
50 FAR AGAINST HAMS
Continued from First Page).

the first shot he testified.
81 was looking under row boa.
when I heard the shot looked mp
and heard more shots. saw the
figure Of man with his hand hold
ing revolver and his arm conceilinS
his face. STOPPED down awaiu.
After the shooting the physician
said he got gu; Of the way. He
heard only four shots
Arthur G. Andrews described tn"
shooring Of Annis.
After the frs: shot. he said. Il
saw Annis take a few steps forward
and then there were more shots. !
Jaw Thornton Hains point revolver
al my :afhcr. who had Jumped from
the boat 70 go toward Captain Hams.
Atcr thar jumped from the boat
ard stool on ,hc stones under tho
dock'
An Adjournment was thea taken IN
I'll Monday.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-12-19

nation my men had that the piece
OF ice was bear was when the piece
OF ice growled.
The reporter. recovering his
breath, asked what that was about a
sea conger that Capt. FRANKIE had
promised earlier to supply at the
end
Capt. FRANKIE replied that that was
q mere incident Once while the seas
were rousnest a portfolio was smash
ed. The seas poured in through the
hole for five Minutes and then stop
ped. Capt FRANKIE found on examina-
ton merely that a cOng.r or sea eel.
eight feet long and nine inches thick.
had poured into the portfolio ana
stuck fast. The sailors cut the inside
half of the conger on and ate 1t. That
was all there was to that.
And about the carpenter being
washed overheard"
"Oh. that was merely that he had
been washed overheard in the morn
ing and washed back again In the ar
ternoon An incident scarcely worth
me utiOning."
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-12-19
LABOR UNION
HOLDS ANNUAL ELECTION
NJ. sauerxins, Of Nsachinits Union
President-Well Attended
Meeting.

The Central Labor Union last night
held its annua! election Of Officers.
naming G. y. Sauerwine. Of the Ma
chinists' union. president. This is
the first time in q number OF years
that machinist has been al the head
Of the body. A we'll attended and
enthusiastic meeting was held.
The new officers are As follows:
PreEiden,-G. y. Sanerwine. OF the
machinists.
MISREPRESENTATION Alley. Of the
mculders.
Financial secretary and treasurer
W. X. Hutchens.
Recording secretary-Jsmes Dickin-
son.
Corresponding secretary-W. s.
Sister.
Sergeant-at-arms-W F.. Knox
Tustees-C. T.. Bi-ie. W. +. Morris
and r. s. Lyon.
The oficers were installed las:
night. ami the body viii not meet
again until after the holidays.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-12-19
SINGING aEPRiMANo.
Two Army CH,cers Receive Severe
Rebuke In Genera! Order.

WASH!NGTpN r.. G. Dec. 1S.-A
singing reflection on two army OFF
GERS L. contained In a general order
issued at the ~ department yester-
day signed by General J. Franklin
Bell. chief OF sam. publishing the az
ton Of the pr"sident In the cases
Of Colcnci Dani"l CcrIman and Cap
tain Charles G. French. both recently
tried by court martial. at Fort
wayae. Mich ir connection w"h the
use cr fo-aC"
The court s"r'"nced Colonel Corn
mzn 10 Sg pc sion from command
for one mon'h ard TO he reprimand-
ed
In the order General Rel says the
record Of the trial shows that Colonel
Co-pman giEra', Jailed in the per
Torrance o; hi dGtiss as post com
mandcr
As a result ~ .rch failure public
property 10 considerable valu" haS
bcen applied % uniawfuI ases ana
Just and wei founded rsproach has
been cast upon the administration Of
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-12-19
Social-PeEsonaI

Mrs Joseph Carr has announced
the engagement OF her daughter, Miss
Frances Spencer Carr, 10 Mr.. Wayne
Thompson Dimm. The wedding will
take place next month. Both Miss
Carr and Mr.. Dimm are popular
young people Of this city. Mr.. Dimm
has been connected with the drafting
department OF the shipyard for a
number Of years.
Mrs Harry s. Estcourt. OF Schenec-
tady. n. Y, is visiting her mother.
Mrs Sophia Holmes, :09 Thirty-sec'
ond street.
Mr.. X. Axtle. Jr.. Mexican vice
consul at this port. is in New York
on business.
The Bridge Whist Club was enter.
tanned yesterday by Mrs. Fred San
ford at her home on West avenue.
Mrs. II. b. Bailey has returned
home after visit to Mrs. william
Reed. at Roland Park, Baltimore.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-12-19
vssdssals - Pictures

Ed. J. Appleby's banjo playing At
sracted many music lovers to the Bell
theater las; night. As usual there
were calls for special pieces. and the
bantoist's act was longer than usual.
although the un!avorable weather
caused the crowds to be smaller than
they have been heretofore.
Mr.. Appleby closes his engagement:
at the Bell tonight. as will Warren 4
Mallory. in their irish comedy sketch.
AMI Melvin b. Howard. the slack .wire
walker The usual performances will
be given this afternoon and tonight.
Several new pictures are on the
program for today.