davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

II President Lincoln had lived until
February -, 190s,-as the Scotch say,
'If he had been spared, he would
have celebrated his 99th birthday. We
have residents of Los Angeles who are
nearly as old as Lincoln would be.
One of them, Mrs. Rebecca Spring, is
not more than year or two younger,
and, as she was one of the first aboli-
tionists, was on emancipation long before
Lincoln espoused that cause. Great is
the climate of Los Angeles!
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
How the News Spread

New Arrival at the Suburban lavei a., !,
Part of the roof of the old prewet,y -, ~
the city fell in a while ago anu
three men. xro,. ,tato
First Lounger to Second-Hear lnat
old brewery in thu city just fell IN an
nearly killed three men, oost, M,
Second Lounger to Thira,-G '3s IN ~
tumbled down an killed three men,.
Third Lounger to Fourth-Gee whiz'
tn old brewery in tn city's Just col.
iapsed an squashed four men I aeath,
When the first newspaper eoi n1.il,a..1
the correct account OF .Lne aeci t1sa,.
co,,Id make out of 1t was one man hurt.
THE Bohemian.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
A Ducatless Duo

The Tue de Chaulnes has agreed to
take Miss SLonts for better or for
worse, without money and without
price. Ghonts won't settle a dollar on
the family duke. But perhaps his duke
let's, at a pinch, will nevertheless be
able to borrow dollar or two from his
,lowerless duchess.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
M orocco-Bound

Sir Harry Mclean is about to be ran
somed. The price will be 100000. That
Is a good deal to pay even when the
article Is bound in Morocco. But sir
JTarry's friends say that the quaint
Ouixotic Scotchman is worth tho
money. Perhaps hereafter he will have
more respect for the Christian civiliza-
ton that he ebjured in order to be-
come a Mohammedan with plural
number of wives.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

Eden. The earth will become so pro-
ductive that it will increase the amount
of it's crops many fold, and the peopie
will become highly civilized; that me
public will hire lawyers 10 aovisS ,e 'V re
do to secure legal advice VIII be 10
take one," says the Binghamton ne
publican. - a new
earth will appear. We believe tne m
habitants Of this country are psIleap.ay
shall Come true. but there will continue
10 be people for some time who WIN
have strong doubts that the Utopia Is
coming this way. The United states Is
already more like the garden OF Edep
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
RSRA.RK'S:..
| ~ - -.
IN.',FROM AN
|LyE. WIRE.
Great Excitement in Hungary

The Hungarian Discount ana Elk
change oanl- at Budapest has received
Ave million dollars from New YORK
with instructions to apply it to the ac-
count of Count and Countess Szeehenyl'
There is great excitement in Hungary
where nobody ever before saw sucn
vast sum of money in one pile. News
Of the arrival of the American millions
has already thrilled the most remote
hamlet and it is expected that the
American dowry and its husband VIII
be welcomed with royal honors.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
orcharditis, Perhaps

Harry Orchard is to be tried, after
all Sirce he heard of the result of the
Thaw case he Is no longer Respondent.
lie hasn't exactly figured out his mania
yet. but by the time his case comes to
trial hs will be afflicted by something
novel and effective. with name like
6 barbed wire fence.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
A Smoky Outlook

New York has adopted an ordinance
making it nisdemeanor for women
to smoke in public places. Now watch
the wise wives of New York 'get busy
in concerted action to make it domes-
tic misdemeanor for men to smoke in
any kinds of places.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

And now we are told by Japanese
statesmen that Japanese war prepara-
tons are not made with any immediate
object, but that Japan is preparing for
eventualities. Japan shouldn't be bor-
rowing trouble.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

set off a volcano of
excitement, t h Q
bloody shirt was
waived and vitu-
peration was in
dulged in wit h
great cheerfulness,
and in unlimited
quantities. Visit
ors to the galleries
always asked to
have pointed out
such men as Blaine,
Conkling, Butler,
Stephens, ( Lamar
and others who
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
AN HLLNfENAT TING REVIEW
OF THE SKXTKETH CONGRESS

chance for personal distinction than
formerly The work is largely done in
committees and the forensic debates
are seldom exciting.
Forty years or so ago congress was
largely composed of veterans of the
Civil War or men who had come into
civil prominence during the conflict.
The men were mostly bearded and full
of passion. The slightest shark would
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

1t is astonishing and just a wee bit
pathetic to see the Joy with which citi-
zens of the United States are hugging
themselves and each other and ex-
claiming that for president we have a
really honest man. Are they SO rare?
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

A prisoner at Santa Fe, N. NJ, won't
eat because he says the jailer and sher-
IF want to fatten him in order to hang
him. He seems to think that the two
officials mentioned are cannibals.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

The Wooer-Cheer up, little one.
shall be careful and brave. We Will
soon know our fate. Come what may,
you shall be mine.
And the leap year girl went in to
ask the young mans mother.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
The Wooed and One

The wooer-You won't think me
cowardly, I hope, but I shrink from
the interview with your parent. 1 am
however, determined to go today.
The Won-Ob, dearest, do be careful.
If anything should happen to you L
should die.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
Arrah, G'wan

Tom She Biz is arrested at-frequent
Intervals, for rracticing what he calls
medicine" without license. She Bin
conducts kind of Shebeen of the heal
ing ar. If you don't know what this
means ask some Irish or Scotch friend ,
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
Tlp to the Press AGENT

Mrs. Josef Hoffman,, wife of the pr
onist, he's lost her jewelry. After it
has been found and the excitement
has been abated, we will hear that
highwayman has run away with Jo-
SETS grand piano.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

Japan says the American immigra-
lion question may be considered res
ad5udicata, a question that is settled
ana satisfactorily disposed Of Japan's
complacence and the Pacific cruise Of
the big American fleet combine 70 form
q gratifying international episode.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
Hughes vuehes

And why not Roosevelt spelling?
"Governor Hughes gives his-views." If
you want to prove to yourself how ir-
rational cur present spelling is, reverse
the spelling in that sentence; Gov
ernor IIiews gives his vughes."
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

Grams are now ALI
son, Aldrich, Hale,
Frye, Cullom, Tell
err and Daniel, the
two latter being
Democrats. All the
rest have t a k e n
their seats since
1879 and only
twenty, all told,
have served moro
than ten years.
says the Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
In the house the
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
Fine for Ticks

A fashion note says; Among the hum
dreds of dainty and beautiful designs of
embroidery on womens hosiery there is
no design which stands more firm than
the SIMPLE old-fashionel clocking.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
TRAGEDY IN PORTUGAL

m HE attempt to destroy the Portu-
guese royal family while driving
Il into Lisbon yesterday may be the
beginning of the long threatened reVo~
luton, or it may be an act of VEN
geance for private wrongs. Its deliber-
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
Lucky Escape

1t is when you appreciate the abso-
lutte impossibil.ty of making a rhyme
for Roosevelt that you realize how for
tunate it is FOR some poor chap that
we have no poet laureate.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
He Wasn't Wary

Porteous B. Ware has failed for two
million dollars in Seattle. His imita-
ton ard sincere friends are not telling
each other to Be Ware of Porteous.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

nHE sixtieth congress contains
4 the largest membership in the
history of that body, and has
an unusually large injection
of new men. The senate,
3 which will soon contain ninety
1embers, is larger than the house
or some years after the beginning
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

~ l. &CAA - = = - =
government, and 1t
has lost many of
its original char
acteristics. T h @
senators are no
longer "ambassa-
doris fro m t h e
states" no longer
are men W h o s e
names are on every
tongue. 1t would
take an unusually
we'll informed man
some time to name
one-third of the
- r1a Have hnxgn oil
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
Up in the Air

Germany brags that she will spend a
half million dollars in airships. Ger
manys naval" program is evidently
Up n the air
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

1t looks as If every real estate firm
IN Los Angeles had 1.-The only suitable
site for permanent city jail
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
RreakIess pIshwashlna

By ths new method of housekeeping,
dishes are washed by electricity VIII
they also be broken by electricity or
will there be a reform?
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02
UNITED STATES WILL BE
LIKE OLD GARDEN OF EDEN

than is any other country. and If Prol.
Elkins' Utopia should strike us Ike
breeze we might lie getting too mueii
of a good thing.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

Manila will be the principal American
naval station in the Orient, Thank you,
George Dewey,
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

ROM most of the great cities
come reports of extensive suf-
fering among the unemployed.
In some places, as in New
York, poverty hides in despair,
sending out it's messengers of
denreda tion occasionally under
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

HE policy by which Sir Horace
pIunkett hopes to rehabilitate
rural life in Ireland is based
on the principle of agricultural
co-oItration. This means the
organized community of farm
inc interests in the purchase
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

aOF. w. B. ELKINS of the
University of Missouri has
published a queer statement
in which he prophesies that
the United states will soon be
converted into a country like
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

The old leaders have al
most entirely passed away. The vet
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

[ERE the differences are as
profound as those between
the white and yellow races
analogles with Europe fail:
Assimilation of Chinese and
Japanese is VIGOROUSLY a
5AaT hit ffFl
Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-02

two members, Is Id
was for some years
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
Thinks il Saved Him.

Lester Nelson, Naples, Maine, says
in a recent letter: Il have used DR..
Kings New Discovery many years. fol-
coughs and colds, and think it saved
my life. | have found it a reliable
remedy for throat and lung complaint
aud would no more be without a bot.
tie than would be without food" Fol-
nearly forty years New Discovery has
stood at the head of throat and lung
remedies. AS preventive ofpeumon-
ia, and healer Of weak lungs it has nc
equal. Sold under guarantee at Jas.
H. Orme and Haynes and Taylors drug
stores. SOC and sl'00. Trial bottle
free.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
Killed By Tightening

Sunday afternoon about 5 O'Clock
Joe May was killed by lightning
while In his crib shucklus corn. He
was sitting on a barrel and his little
daughter standing within two or
three feet of him, when the bolt came
thru the roof Of the crib, struck him
on the head, tore a hole in his hat
did not break the skin on the BODY
but tore two of his toes of. Hewas
instantly killed, and not withstandipp
the fact the little girl was standing
SO close to him she was not even
'hocked Benton Tribune Democrat
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
A Grand Family Medicine.

ut gives me pleasure to speak good
word for Electric Bitters," writes Mr..
Frank Conlan of No 1876 Houston st ,
New York, cts a grand family
medicine for dyspepsia and liver COM
plications; while for lame back and
weak kidneys it can't be too highly
recommended" Electric Bitters regu-
late the digestive functions, purify the
blood, and impart renewed vigor and
vitality to the weak and debilitated of
both sexes. Sold under guarantee at
Jas. II. Orme and Haynes G. Taylor's
drug stores. SOC
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
Would Tap YeSuylus.

Should the volcanic vent, or chin.
ney, OF Vesuvius become blocked
write Sicnor Coartino, In recently
Published pamphlet, the danger of an
explosion becomes very great, and to
afford an outlet for the molten mass
OF rock, he proposes to bore a tunnel
at the base of the mountain to carry
the lava into the sea. He also points
out the possibility of leading the lava
into moulds, so as to form il into
blocks for building quays, break.
waters, etc., and smaller slabs for
paving the streets of Naples, such as
Ire now obtained from the cooled
ava.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
BucklIns Arnica Saiye Wins.

Tom Moore of Rural Route No. /
cochran, Ca, writes: 81 had a bad
sore to come on the instep if my foot
and could find nothing that would
heal it until applied Bucklen's Arnica
Salve. Less than half of a 25c box
won the day for me by effecting a per-
feet cure" Sold under guarantee at
Jas II. Orme and Haynes & Taylor
drug store.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
A Happy Mother.

Will see that her baby is properly car
ed for-do do this good purgative is
necessary. Many babies suffer from
worms and their mothers don't know It
if your baby is feverish and doesn't
sleep at nights, it Is troubled with
worms. Whites Cream Vermifuge
will clean out these worms in a mild
pleasant way. Once tried always used.
Give it a trial. Price 25 cents. Sold
Jas. II. Orme.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
How 10 Cure a Bilious Attack

A bilious attack is caused by the fer
mentation of food in the stomach. A
dose of Chamberlain Stomach and
Liver Tablets will clean out the stom-
ach, reduce the irritation anf amation
of the stomach, which is the cause of
the severe headache, strengthen and
invigorate the stomach and restore it
to a healthy condition. Try them.
You are certain to be pleased with the
prompt cure which they effect. For
sale by j. II. Orme.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
The Best Pills Fever Sold.

After doctoring Is years for chron-
ic indigestion, and spending over two
hundred dollars, nothing has done me
as much good as DR.. Kings New Life
Pills. consider them the best pills
ever sold" writes B. F. Ayscue, of
Ingleside. N. c. Sold under guarantee
at Jas II. Orme and Haynes and Tay-
lor's drug store. 25c.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
DECIDE YOURSELF
the Opportunity Is Here Backed BY
Marion Testimony.
Don't take our word for il.

Don't take our word for it.
Don't depend on stranger. stat
ment.
Read Marion endorsement
Read the statements Of Marion
citizens.
Aud decide FOR yourself
Here J. one case 81 II.
T. W Champion, Mechanic B,-
my on Salem ST.. Marios Ky, says
kidney disease hal reduced INV
health aud strength unnl sc,rcely
eII....S +s-Twsl'5, DAY again. /
Suffered intensely FROM pain IN my
loio, aud my family physician dag
nosed my ease a. kidnsy stones ard
gave me some medicine To dissolve
them, but the symtoms only seemed
e. bee iuten.idcj About tins time
when IA despair, | PROCURED Deans
Kidney Pills at Haynes y Taylors
drug store. After shofi u-e be
gan to pas. the secretion copiously
aud two Kidney stones passed from
me which we're nearly one-haf inch
long. After thi. the terrible pains
began 60 .ub,idc aud Tell into a
sound sleep which listed for twelve
hours From that time "a my
health improved rapidly, the pains IN
my back ceased. the kidney secretions
became regular aud began To feel
like myself again Ny friends hero
10 Marion marvel 1t my ease. IL
took eight boxes Of noAn's Kidney
PIN. TO bnug a complete cure in my
case, but owe my health, in fact
my life, To their curative powers
For sale by all dealers Price 30
cents. Foster Milburn Co. Buffalo,
New York, sole agent. for the United
States.
Remember Il e usme- DoAn's-snd
take no other.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
II Does The Work.

Bishop Bros, merchants, Wilmore
KY, says; ave don't want you to
let anyone else in our town have
Bourbon Hog Cholera Remedy. 1t
does the work and We are going af-
ter the business. Haynes Il Taylor.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
, UOrn Crib Lets II
crop on Farmer.

Ottumwa, la. May 29.-Southern
Iowa was hit yesterday by a terrific
windstorm which at Alba assumed
the form of a tornado. The Grant
school was wrecked and the roof
crashed thru to the rooms below
juat fifteen minutes before assembly
time. } NJ. Taylor was instantly
killed by heavy corn crib which the
whirlwind picked up and dropped on
him.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
Drdgnet nOllOwell Verdict.

The verdict at Padueab IN 81,
Hoiioweil c,se has been followed bv
intense bitterness and widespread nm
easiness. ln making up its verdict
the Jury did not attempt to discrim.
mate between good and bad al;b;s
and the defendant themselves did NOT
Try to help those wrongfully accused
The result was some Of Tho man
we're caught in the dragnet who could
hardly have been guilty of the crime
charged to them. Men of mature
ago, prominent in church work and
OF high social standing were placed
upon the same plane as the young
men charged with night riding in |
Crittenden and other counties And
the worst Of it is that these innocent
men bust beer the burden and lose
the accumulations of lifetime for
other peoples crimes. The manner
In which this case, involving the for.
tunes OF ZS citizens, was railroaded ,
In two day to conviction, almost takes s
ones breath away; and with perbans v
one hundred other such cases IN nros.
pect 1t arouses feeling of pity in )
the hardest of hearts for good men
who have been led, driven or dragged
into such trouble. And when n i I
understood that every man muIcted
In the federal court is at once m.rked
for criminal prosecution. Itish In
to tell where the end Will have
grant that ne res. .neu his regular APP Nv.
ntment at New Salem last thir' lard |
nday. oe' "ou v
-.4eason may soon assert it. ;,
self and put an end to the causes and :,
produce such effects. Hop kinsville =.
Kentuckian.
The Kentuckian is in error when ::
it says young men of Critteuden !
county are charged with night riding, :,
no young man or old one either in !
this county is accused of any such
thing. Editor.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
Bad Attack Of Dysentry Cured.

IAN honored citizen of this 70 On
was suffering from severe attack
OF dysentry. He told a friend if he
obtain a bottle of Chamberlain's Collie
Cholera and Diarrhoea Remedy, he
felt confident of being cured, he hav.
ing used this remedy in the West. He
was told that ! kept it in stock and
lost no tsme in obtaining it. and was
promptly cured" says NJ. J. Leach
druggist, of Wolcott, Vt. .EAy.-.I l,,tn|
Jas. " a. t? was
[ho Markets. ssIs 'y
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
XXX

A lively shooting scrape took place
at the dance on Gmlet Creek Saturdsy
but the Excelsior Fiddling Band wa.
making so much noise nobody but 4
few close bystanders could hear it.
Be bright. Have lots Of sen, e
Thed you'll be much more intelligent
than the rest Of the fools.
Scholars are being turned out a.
the Wild Onion school at a rapid
tate. 1t is the custom Of Prot. Sap
Spradlen to allow pupils to quit
school as soon as they learn all that
he himself knows. 1t does not take
the average hogwallow pupil long t.
learn all that the professor knows,
and that is the reason the attendance
is so small
Atlas Peck say he has noticed that
the snakes are lazy in the winter
time but pretty vsly in the summer.
Miss Constance Henstep, Of the
vicinity Of Calf Ribs, was popular
visitor in Hogwallow last week.
She visited the Hensteps here, and
would have stayed a month or two
but she is just their second cousin
Xxx
Standard Hancock had relative
to die at Bounding Bllows, the 9th.
er day, aud will drive his hla < horse
for a ,hort time
XXX
\ stranger by the name of Smith
passed thru here today tie j. the
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
HOgxallOW.

As soon as the hen lays twice
more Miss Frurie AllsOp announces
that she will do some shopping in
Tickville,
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04

While Sim finder hasn't got any.
thing else to do he says be believes
he will get him gimlet and helm
the fishing worms thru to the top Of
the ground.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04

II one feels dull and spriritless. in
the spring or early summer. they call
Il Spring Fever. but there is no few
casually. IL Is the after effect Of
our winter habits. The nerves are
mostly at fault. Tired. worn-out nerves
leave US languid, lifelcss and without
spirit or ambition. A few doses OF DR.
Shops Restorative will absolutely
and quickly change all Of these depres-
ing symptoms. The restorative Of
course won't bring you back TO full
health in a day or two. but II will do
enough in Is hours TO satisfy you tina,
the remedy j. reaching that tired
spot" Druggist everywhere are ad-
vising its use as prompt general tonic
II gives more vim aud more spirit
TO the spoonful than any other known
nerve or constitutional tonic. IL
Sharpens a failing appetite, aids diges-
tiou. free sluggish livers and kidneys.
and brings new life. strength and am
bition. Test il few days and be coL-
WINGED. Sold by Jas II. Orme.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
PRINTED BY REQUET
keclpe Is Easily prepared at Small
Cost, and Many Swear
10 II.

Mix the following by shaking well
In bottle, aud take in teaspoonful
doses after meals aud at bedtime:
FLUID Extract Dandelion, one.half
ounce; Compound Kargon, one ouu,e
Compound Syrup Sarsaparilla, three
ounces. A local druggist is the au
thority that these simple, harmless
ingredients can be obtained at no.
minai cost from our home druggists
The mixture is said to cleanse and
strengthen the cIogged and inactive
Moneys overcoming backache. Blad.
DER weakness and Urinary Trouble of
all KINDS II taken before the stage oil
Bright's disease. -. -
OF July was Go rs IT,
tro,,- --.;., 'e~'
Those who have tried this say it
positively oyercomes pain in the
back, clear the urine of sediment and
regulates urination, especially at
night, curing even the worst forms
Of Bladder weakness
Every man or woman here who
feels that the kidneys are not strong
Dr. acting in healthy manner should
mix this prescription at home aud
give it trial, as it said to do won.
wonders for many persons.
The Scranton Pa. Times was first
to print this remarkable prescription
10 October, 1906, since when ala the
leading newspapers Of New York,
Boston Philadelphia, Pittsbure aud
other cities have made many announce
nents Of it to their rcoders.
\. %. NJ 81, J.ls
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04

Only person that ever made success
at catching aeas in trap.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
xxx

Washington Hooks is not going
to drink anything but water this SUN.
mer and has planted lot of gourds.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04

The noise on Gsnder Creek has
been improved by the appearance
oil two large frogs from Bounding
Billows.
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
x.x-x

We cant see the logic 10 women
holding her skirt up to keep her ts,a,
from getting muSSS0
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04
XXX

Soma people express all their
grief with a piece Of crepe.
Xxx
The rats have carried of all of
lobe Mosleys corn, and be says he
l. going to watch all the rat hole,
thi. spring for green corn stalks
Crittenden record=press. [volume] (Marion, Ky.) 1907-1909, 1908-06-04

Be bright. Have lots Of sense
Thed you'll be much more intelligent
than the rest Of the fools.