davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Senators Are Not as Rich as Reported

insurance Is his business. Lodge
claims literature as profession, and
Plat is labeled, boldly enough, "Presi-
dent of Express Company" Warren of
Wyoming is stock raiser, Stephenson
Of Wisconsin lumberman, Elkins of
West Virginia miner, and Hans
brough of North Dakota admits to an
editorship.
There are IL farmers In the house,
including ]. Adam Bede; nine manu-
facturers, four merchants, four insur-
ance men, seven real estate dealers
and as many lumbermen. There are
also seven editors. There are five
journalists, four miners and three pub
fishers. There were two planters, be-
cause John Sharpe Williams was one
before he graduated to the upper
house. There is one mining engineer,
one railroad constructor, one fruit
grower, trustee" (probably the only,
professional one In existence), build
er, an everyday contractor, one lone
capitalist, miller, stock raiser, O.
surveyor and tanner. One says his
occupation is railroad" and another
says his is stone" There are two
nurserymen and four physicians, be-
sides Hobson, who is put down as a,
naval constructor" and Champ Clark,
who keeps on trying to prove that he,
is a lecturer.
How much are they worth In money,
these lawyers and public officials and
merchants and insurance men and
farmers, who serve their country at
Washington?
Every third man in the senate is
worth q million or more. There are
80 millionaires IN the senate and IA
in the house. Thirty-two senators are
worth, together, $210,500,O0O. The IA
house millionaires are worth $83,000,-'
900. Retired" Senator Guggenheim is
worth about $6O,O00,O00. Lumber
man" Stephenson is worth 100000, 900.
Express President Plat receives $780,
600 year in salary alone. Merchant"
Aldrich is worth $12,000,000.
Do they all draw salary and every
cent of perquisites they can get, these
46 millionaires who are worth the stu,
pendous sum of $293,50O,OO0?
The answer is, they do.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Woman Frail Thing, Says Supreme Court

ployes, the court perhaps for the first
time in its history, told woman just
where she stands. And a laundryman
is responsible for this official pronun-
ciamento as to the rights Of the fair
sex. This thrifty Oregonian made his
women employees work ten hours, the
same as the men on his pay rolls. He
was prosecuted under the eight-hour
law, which was upheld by the state
courts and again by the country's high
est tribunal.
Holding first that womens rights
can be no more infringed than those
of men, Justice Brewer, who an
nounced the decision, went still fur
ther and held that on many accounts
woman is entitled to greater protec-
ton than her brother.
Legislation designed for her pro-
lection may be sustained even when
like legislation is not necessary for
men and could not be sustained" he
said
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Annrenficed.

"Yes," said Mr.. Pate, with ill-con-
cealed pride, my youngest boy
makes some smart remarks at times.
Only recently he asked me what 1t
meant to be an apprentice. / told
him that 1t meant the binding of one
person to another by agreement, and
that one person so bound had to teach
the other all he could of his trade or
profession, whilst the other had to
watch and learn how things were
done, and had to make himself useful
in every way possible"
what did he say to that?" asked
one of the audience.
"Why, after few minutes the
young rascal looked up at me and
said: Then I suppose you're appren-
ticed to mother, aren't you, dad?"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Good Eye, Cuchuillini

Who can set bounds TO the soaring
Imagination OF the Celt? An enth1sl
astic New Yorker recently watching a
game of hurllng-which resembles Ia
crosse--between stalwart teams, was
moved to ask President Conway OF the
Irish Athletic association how far a
good man could drive the ball.
"Well, I'll tell you," responded Mr..
Conway, with twinkle in his eye that
contradicted his serious speech. IN
the good old days when Cuchuillin was
champion of Ireland. the king and all
the nobility were assembled at the
great games Of Tailtln. Cuchuillln
struck up hurley ball into the sky
and then walked off to his pavilion and
took a drink OF potheen, and strolled
back to the spot in good time to catch
the ball on his urley."--Iiarper's
Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
SAY RICH WOMEN STEAL.
New York Merchants Organize Cam
paign Against Shoplifters.

New York.-New York merchants
are instituting a campaign against
shoplifters. The formation of the re-
tail dry goods associations has been
completed, and Martin w. Littlcton,
who conducted the defense for Harry
X. Thaw, Is retained as attorney for
the members.
The professional shoplifters don't
bother us much" said Leslie Graf,
secretary of the association. 1.-THE
store detectives know them and they
are watched from the moment they
enter a store until they leave.
Nor is 1t the poor people who rob
the stores, in most cases. Wives of
prominent business men, wives of
clergymen, well-todo, supposedly re.
spectacle women whose husbands
make from $1,000 to $4,000 a year are
those who prey upon the stores. They
don't need to take things; they just
take them, and when they are de-
tected and brought before the pro-
prletors of the store they weep and
beg for mercy. They will not be al.
lowed to go free In the future"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
EYEslGHT WAS IN DANGER
From Terrible Eczema--5aby's Head
Mass Of itching Rash and Sores
Disease Cured by Cuticura.

"Our little girl was two months old
when she got a rash on her face and
within five days her face and head
were al one sore. We used different
remedies but 1t got worse instead Of
better and we thought she would turn
blind and that her ears would fall off.
She suffered terribly. and would
scratch until the blood came. This
went on until she was FIVE months old,
then had her under our family doc.
tors care, but she continued to grow
worse He said It was eczema. When
she was seven months old l started
to use the Cuticura Remedies and In
two months our baby was a different
girl. You could not see q sign OF a
sore and she was as fair as new
born baby. She has not had sign OF
the eczema since. Mrs. ii. II. Budke,
LeSueur, Mimi. Apr. Is and May .. '07.'
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
IN MANY LINES OF BUSINESS.
Witness Evidently Was Man Of un.
usual Qualiflc atoms.

s. T. Jocelyn Of Wichita was court
stenographer for Judge Pancoast Of
Oklahoma for several years. One time
case was being tried before Judge
Pancoast and they were endeavoring
to find out through witness whether
there had been any liquor sold.
What Is your business?" asked the
lawyer. "My business?" repeated the
witness laconically. "oh, have lots
of business" Answer the question"
said the lawyer. "What is your bust
ness?" Must tell all my business?"
insisted the witness again. Answer
the question:" interposed the judge
severely.
"Well," responded he cheerfully,
'1'm deputy sheriff and city marshal
for Gunner, janitor of the church and
bartender Of the El Paso saloon
Kansas City Times.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
=
S--z-=zAH
IL
p295.5OO. 900 |
= Y

WASHINGTON.- else are con-
w greSsmen besides congressman?
II they are not in congress, drawing
salary from grateful people. what
would they be doing for a living?
When the official questioner went
around and asked the Sixtieth con-
gress what its business was when 1t
wasn't congressing Sc members of the
senate and lower house-15 of one
and Al Of the other, replied point
blank that they were public officials"
or course, in both houses the law.
years far outnumber everybody else put
together. There are 81 protested law
yers in the senate alone, and no less
than 235 more in the house-just IL
less than an even 800 all together.
In this category reads the names
one has heard before-Senators Tel
Ter and Bacon, Hepburn, Borah, Hop
kins, Hemenway and Beveridge, Frye,
Nelson, Depew, La Toilette, Foraker
and Dick, Penrose, Culberson and Bal
ley. In the house the lawyers are le-
gion, with Nicholas Longworth, Bur-
ton. Tawney. De Almond, Littlefield,
Crumpacker, Overstreet and the New
York triumvirate Of Bourke Cochran,
Herbert Parsons and Serene Payne.
Bankers rank next in number, al
though there are but five in the en-
tire senate. which seems like news
TaliaferTo Of Florida, Nixon of Neva-
da, Kean of New Jersey, Ankeny Of
WaShin pt0n and Reed Smoot IF Utah
The house boasts % bankers, making
81 In all.
The two senators from South Caro-
lima confess that they are farmers,
though that is more than anybody else
In the senate will admit. These are
Senators Latimer and Tillman. Thus
the latter remains loyal to his pitch
fork. Two are merchants, Aldrich and
Perkins. Buckley of Connecticut says
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19

G ENATOR STEPHEN B. ELKINS Of
~ West Virginia, rated as a multi
millionaire, has arisen in protest
against the current lists showing the
wealth of the men who make up the
american house of lords" One of
the latest of these lists, printed a few
days ago, set down Senator Guggen-
helm of Colorado at $60,OO0,0O0. Isaac
Stephenson of Wisconsin came second
with $30,0O0000 and Senator Elkins
was put third with modest
:$25, 100000.
Discount those figures by 80 per
cent" said Senator Elkins in all seri-
BUSINESS. as he surveyed the names of
his very rich colleagues, "and they
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
A PaNinn Partnershin.

Struggling Playwright (gloomily)-
There is no chance for talent in these
days, no chance at all.
Stranger-That's because you don't
know how to use your talents. Go
into partnership with me and well
both make fortunes. All you need to
do is to write ten-act play. I'll get
it produced at the Fashion theater at
my own expense and well divide the
profits"
Are you the manager of the
Fashion theater?"
NO; ! run a saloon next doom.
Y. Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
What's a Widower2

Ia a widower a married or a single
man?
This question continually crops up
and 1t is continually being answered
both ways. Certainly widower is
married-he is not a bachelor That
is one answer. Certainly, on the other
hand, no matter what the man once
was, he Is single now. That is the
other answer. Thus In all match
games of single against married men
games OF hockey, football. baseball,
cricket-the poor wldower is tossed
from one side to the other like shut
tleclock. The solution depends solely
upon his skill.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
MUSIC STUDENTS
Should Have Steady Nerves.

The nervous system Of the musician
Is often very sensitive and any habit
like coffee drinking may so upset the
nerves as to make regular and neces-
sary daily practise next to impossible.
II practise from seven to eight hours
day and study Harmony two hours"
writes Mich. music student Last
September / was so nervous / could
only practise few minutes at time,
and mother said would have to drop
my music for year.
This was terribly discouraging as
I couldn't bear the thought of losing
a whole year Of study. Becoming con-
vinced that my nervousness was
caused largely by coffee, and seeing
Postum SO highly spoken Of. l de.
cided | would test II for while.
Mother followed the directions
carefully and l thought had never
tasted such a delicious drink. We
drank Postum every morning instead
of coffee, and by November l felt more
like myself than for years, and was
ready to resume my music.
Il now practise as usual, do my
studying and when my days work Is
finished am not any more nervous
than when began.
IL cannot too highly recommend
Postum to musicians who practise half
day. My father is a physician and
recommends Postum to his patients.
Words cannot express my appreciation
for this most valuable health bever-
age, and experience has proven It's
superiority over all others" There's
Reason"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to
MELVILLE" In pkgs.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Last Resort.

Mamma-You don't know anything!
Daughter-No!
Mamma-You can't cook nor sew.
Daughter-No, alas!
Mamma-You can't talk, play the
piano, recite, write, make yourself
agreeable in society, dance, sing or
smoke cigarettes.
Daughter-No, know nothing Of
these things.
Mamma-Then what are you going
to do with yourself?
Daughter-I-I guess I'll just have
to get married!-Cleyeland Leader.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Remarkable Piece of Eccentric Art

Remarkable Piece of Eccentric Art.
A remarkable piece Of work was re-
Gently shown at German exhibition
in the shape os well-executed land
scape made of colonies of different
colored bacteria thriving In gelatin
and meat extract The thing was
shown at an exhibition of eccentric
art, where there were also artistic
compositions in spinach and egg and
other effects secured by resorting to
the use of spices of different colors
instead OF paint.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Soft Fall.

Jinks-I never had much use for
feather beds. l don't consider them
healthy.
Blinks-Well, know a man who
says he would like to see them all
over the country.
Jinks-Indeed! Who is he?
Blinks-Why, an inventor of flying
machines Chicago Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Equal to the Occasion.

why did you keep that boy so long,
Jane?' recently asked lady of her
servant, who had jrss taken in a
siphon of soda-yater.
please ma'am, he wanted to know
If he could have a returned empty
so | drawed off the water into jug
and let him ave 1t. / drawed it all off,
ma'am," was the reassuring reply.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Free Advice.

II am the happiest man In the
world" says a correspondent. "She
confesses that she loves me! But she
won't marry me till next year. Whit
she'll do?"
Oh, you Indian! Not to recognize
that 1t is your privilege to remain the
happiest man in the world-till next
year!-Cleveland Leader.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
panaer In overworkinn

In an article on the danger of long
hours in druggists shops Hygienische
Zeitschrift says that during the four
years ending July, 1907, 10 dispensing
assistants in German drug stores COM
mitted suicide and seven others at
tempted, but failed, to kill themselves.
These suicides were the consequence
of the physical conditions induced by
the taking of drugs to resist the eff.
fects Of fatigue.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Shown in Capitol Paintings

mediate family who participated in
the religious ceremony was one big
Indian with six toes. Whether he
really had six toes or was given an
extra toe by the artist is not discov.
cred in the history available, but It is
sufficient to say that there are six
as well rounded Indian toeD on one
foot as can be found in days walk.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19

WOMAN is in class by herself.
w She's frail.
No matter how much she may hank
er for the rights of men, the right of
suffrage and other privileges, it is
impossible to close ones eyes to the
fact that she is the weaker vessel and
still looks to her brother for protec-
ton.
This is SO, Susan B. Anthony and
others to the contrary notwithstand-
ing. The supreme court of these great
United States says so.
In decision UNFOLDING the Oregon
eight-hour day law for women en-
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
His Claim to Distinction.

In strolling through the garden,
while waiting for his hostess to ap-
pear, a newly arrived visitor came
upon Bob, who was building fort OF
the gravel of the walk.
And who are you, little man."
asked the visitor.
I'm baby's brother said Bob,
proudly.-Youth's Companion.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Cause of Monotony.

Editor-Mr. Paragraph, l wish you
wouldn't write so many jokes about
men who can't pay their bills; they
are funny enough in way, but so
many Of them are little monotonous.
Can't you get your mind on some
other subject?
Mr.. Paragraph (thoughtfully)-
haps could-if l had little larger
salary
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Oddly Put.

A solemn funeral procession, slowly
vending its way up the slope from the
church to the grave, was intercepted
by the old verger, who, pulling his
forelock in the usual rustic style, adj
dressed the clergyman, whispering in
a confidential manner:
Please, sir, corpse's brother wishes
to speak to yer!"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
THE MESSENGER.

he had message for tho world,
A thrilling word. he said,
To revolutionize and sway
The souls of those who read.
He started to deliver It.
But met some other chaps.
And halted for year or two
To play game of craps.
That done, he did not go his way.
His erraud to pursue.
But sought a nice secluded spot
And dozed decade through.
And when at last he got around
To have his weighty say.
He found, to his intense surprise,
The world had moved away.
--McLandburgh Wilson, in Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19

ten years / was in
misery with back
ache. The simplest
housework complete
ly exhausted me. I
had no strength or
ambition and SUI.
fered headache and
dizzy spells. After
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Almost Concealed.

Eva-And you really think he loves
you?
Edna know It, Didn't he propose
on his knees?
Eva-Oh, that's nothing! Many
lovers do the same.
Edna-Yes, but he proposed while
strapping on my skates and his knees
were on the ice 20 minutes.-Chicago
Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
ExcusabIe Candor.

Young Tutter drawing closer)-I
hope, Miss Clara, that your father in
the next room can't hear what l am
saying.
Miss Pinkerley with dignity)-I
hope, Mr.. Tutter, that you will say
nothing to me that you would not be
willing to say to papa.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
NJ. G..

There amt no use in grammar"
Said Johnny Jay;
'It never learns you nothin',
No matter what they say.
or course them little dago boys
Is different; but, gee!
There amt no use In learnin' plain
United States to me-"
Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
A Little Uncertain.

81 suppose that there was very cul.
tured audience at the performance OF
one Of Sophocles' plays In New York
I'm not so sure of that"
What makes you dubious?"
"The fact that heard several calls
for the uthor."-Baltlmore Ameri-
can.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
No Chance to Kick.

Ostend--Does money talk, PAT"
Pa-No, my son. II money could
tall: the new ten dollar gold pieces
would let out wall about the eagle
in pajamas and the ShakesAeareaD
Indian.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19

these years OF pain l was despairing
of ever being cured when Doan's Kid
ney Pills came to my notice and their
use brought quick relief and perma-
nent cure. / am very grateful"
Sold oy all dealers. so cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo. N. Y.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
Her First Yarn.

Mother-Dear me, the baby has
swallowed piece of worsted.
Father-That's nothing to the yarns
she'll have to swallow If she lives to
grow up.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
A New Bluff.

Hello. your hair is full OF sand"
"Yes, balloon ballast. It's the fash
ionable thing nowadays. Makes peo-
pie think that one goes In for aero
nautics, don't you know"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19

Patient-There's a rabbit In the gar
den, Jim. Fetch me gun.
Attendant-But, sir, it is five o'clock
in the morning; everybody is asleep.
Patient-No matter, I'll fire on tip
toe
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
TEN YEARS OF sAcxAcHE.
ThoU5ands OF Women Suffer In tho
Same Way.

Mrs. Thomas Dunn, 153 Vine ST., Co,
lumbus, Ohio, says: For more than
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19

Proof Is inexhaustible that
Lydia IL. Pinlham's Vegetable
Compound carI@es women safely
through the Change of Life.
Read the letter Mrs. u. Hanson,
304 Il. Long St, Columbus, Ohio,
writes to Mrs. Pinkham:
81 was passing through tho Change
of Life, and suffered from nervous
ness, headaches, and other annoying
symptoms. My doctor told me that
Lydia Il. Pinliham's Vegetable Com
pound was good for me, and since talk.
ing IL / feel 70 much better, and can
again do my own work. i never forget
to tell my friends what Lydia Il. Pink.
hams Vegetable Compound did for mo
during this trying period"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.

For thirty years Lydia u. INK
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousandsof
women who have been troubled with
displacements, inflammation, ulcera-
ton, fibroid tumors, Irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bear
ing-down feeling, fatulency, indiges-
ton, dizziness or nervous prostration.
Why don't you try it?
Mrs. PinlSham invites all sick
women to write her for advice.
She has guided thousands 10
health. Address, Lynn, Mass.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19

| BY
fatal
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Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-03-19

TED
than
reat
| Glory
was
china
de-
arms
ratsu
over
6 re-
ire a
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New-York tribune., 1908-12-08
OTHER MARKgTs-gY TELEGRAPH.

Chicago. Dec. 7.-CATTLE-Receipts 81 600 head
market, best steady: others. 10g15c lower steers,
s. 80 SS cows, So S5 20: hefers 81 80 bulls
s. 70 81 90 calves 81 SO Qs6 10
s. 80 O 81 s5. EOGS-Receipts. estimated al IS 600
head. market IS zoe lower; choice heavy shipping
40 packing. 50 80 So sOi pigs s. SO s. So bulk
saIes So IS 10. SHEEP-ReCepts estimated al
$4,000 head market Is z zoe lower; sheep, 81 81
lambs. s. IS Q IS 70; yearlings. s. % IS 25-
Cincinnati, Dec. T.-HOGS-5 lower active
butchers and shippers, s. II s. so; common IS IS
q s. 80 CATTLEFalr 10 good shippers, So s5 a IS So
common 81 % q So 10 sHEEP-steady. 81 25 S. IS
East Buffalo, Dec. CATTLE Receipts. $50 head
s. 50 So % butchers s6; heifers s. 90 S5 25
50 80 s. 75i bulls, So IS and feed
ers stock heiters and fresh sprlngers none
here FEALS-ReCepts. $50 head. active; $3.50
aOCiS-Rece-pts, 102o0 head 2Oc lower;
1eayy- 50 80 S6 %, mixed, So 80 SS, IS 90
50 gO5 pigs 81 5OGs5 40 roughs, IS % 50 40 sJags
s. g s. so. dalries 50 so gs5 &c SHEEP AND LAMBS
-FeceiPts 5000 head, active lambs 3 PSI 10. year
ngs s. 70 S6 70; wethers. s. q 50 IS; 81 5o9
Kansas City, Dec. 7-CATTLE-Receipts. 18. 600
head including 1000 Southerns steady to IOo
lover top 81 80 choice and dressed
- - g 30 fair 70 good 81 80 steers
- 90 - 20 stocke-s and feeders, SO 25 South
steers $ 50 So southern 50 20 So 70; native
cows s. 50 native heifers 50 %. 81 80 S4
calves. 81 50q SO so. HOGS-Receipts, $4,000 head
g 80 heavy s. 80 a So 50; packers butchers'
IS 90 s. So light IS s. So; pigs. s49$4 90 SHEEP
Fecei2ts 5000 head: market steady TO weak; lambs
- % So 80 ewes and earrings, 81 81 70;
stockers and feeders, So 508S4 So