The commonwealth. (Scotland Neck, N.C.) 1896-1929, 1908-12-17

| ~ mas'll be clomping along
before we know 1t. Right
now the time is drawing pretty close
| when a fellow will have to be mighty
| careful about opening bureau drawers
| when n.a wife is in the room If he
| doesn't want to be scared into con-
| mutton when she notices what he's
| doing. Y'see, this is just about the
| beginning of the season when wives
start to hiding the Christmas presents
| they've bought for their husbands.
| Funny gag, that, too.
Then there's another thing about
| this Christmas present hiding bust
ness Most men stick 1t out that wom-
en- are the curious, inQuisitive sex,
| don't they? Well, l don't believe it.
In my opinion men are whole heap
more curious and inQuisitive than
women. Fact Is, know 1t.
For instance, husband, long
about this season that's approaching,
| is cropping around for fresh shirt
! upon getting up In the morning. He
yanks out the wrong drawer Of the
bureau. Well on this morning he
| pulls out the bottom bureau drawer,
say, and his wife, who is fixing
her hair at the chifonier in an
other part Of the room, catches him
in the act just in time, let's out her
little squawk, and races over to the
bureau and pushes the drawer shut
$50 it's there, hey?' he says to
| her. .'Scuse me for living and then
the mullethead goes on grinning like
chimpanzee while he brushes his
hair Then he turns to her.
"'Watchoo got in there. anyway?
he asks her.
she tells him, with a grimace,
and very properly, that it's none of his
business. And she adds something
about folks that rubber
But, say, g'wan and tell me what
choo got in there. won't you?' he tries
again, wheedlingly.
"Whereupon his wife makes mention
Of that feline that met an untimely
end through curiosity.
That's all right about the cat,
says the husband then, but I'll bet
you new rubber plant that it's cigars
that you've got in there And thcr,
he begins to look bit alarmed. Say,
l hope not, though. I'm thinking about
swearing off smoking soon now, any
. how
But this hint OF his about the ci.
.. CARS doesn't get the least bit OF 9
rise out OF her. Not much. Nothing
whatever doing IN the Conversational
line On her part.
"'Oh, I'm pinhead, sure enough,
her husband says then, after pause
and still consumed and just eaten
alive by curiosity. I might have
known all the time that it's shaving
outfit. That's exactly what it is, fol
a sure thing ......~ -.
However, his wife most carefully
adjusts her side combs and quite re
Trains from talking. Then - sucks
his hands i1to zig trousers pockets
s--u looks her over quizzically.
law, come on, now, like goot
girl, and tell me If you've gone ant
got me that bath robe that we wer'
locking at In the shop window tn
other afternoon he says to her II hi
most persuasive tone.
Say, Minnie, you might let a fel
Ter see what you've got tucked II
thsre, at that So. ,,.n
Just compare the attitude of tn
average. husband in this Christina
gift business with the position Of hi
wife on that same subject. She doesn'
really want to know what he Is goini
to give her for Christmas. She want
to be 's'prised.'
"Iook, here, hum he says to he
some morning along toward Christina
usually he puts it OF till about tn
last day, when everything is all pickle
over in the steres-'Look a-hefe, m
dear, whatckoo want for Christmas
hey3 It's up to you, you know
why, the very IDEAL she exclaims
up 10 me, Prepcsterous! Why,
wouldn't be any Christmas gift st a.
if :c,! -ou what ] wanted you t
get fIr lie
"'Oh, hats orc WV of looking a
IT, he says. Put. dye kew, I wa
thinking about g; ing you
"'Sh-sh-sh! Stop she cries Don
you dare tell me, Jack Gosling Don
you dare!'
"All the sar3e, she's foxy, at tI.a
After a while an idea strikes her.
You know, o. course, Jack sh
says, musingly, that # you are wol
ried about the sizes Of things. VIII,
your sister Agnes and l wear cXactl
the same sizes in everything, an
She
"But, Nix he breaks in. 1t ism
anything that comes in sizes. rs on
Of those
And again her fingers so into he
ears. The 's'prise' Is the whole thin
to her, and she Is resolved not to hea
in advance what he is thinking of ge
ting for her.
Now, if all this doesn't come prett
near proving that women are reall
less curious than men, then l dunno,
dunno, hey?"
Kodol for Dyspepsia, indigestion
l. ck1x Il