davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1908-02-06
stain. ON Linen.

To remove tea, coffee. fruit and to-
mato stains. stretch the stained por-
tion over a bowl and pour boiling water
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04
JUNK man PUTS
WIFE IN SHAFTS
SIGHT OF WOMAN HlTcHED TO
WAGON SHOCKS REsIDENTs
OF EVANSTON, ILL.
TAKES PLACE OF DEAD HORSE
Frank MuIcaski Solves Dilemma BY
Harvesting HeIpmeet to Vehicle
New "steed" Needs Neither
Hay Nor Oats.

Chicago.-Harnessed between the
shafts of a wagon heavily laden with
old iron, bottles and rags, Mrs. Frank
Mulcaski, IS years old. wife of an
Evanston junk dealer, has taken up
the task left OF by the family horse
at its death a few weeks ago.
Supplied with especially fitted har-
ness, she has made it possible for her
husband. who pleads that he was too
poor to replace the dead horse, to con-
tinue in business.
Daily she draws the wagon through
the streets of Evanston and Wilmette
and its suburban territory, responding
with alacrity to her husbands cries
of whoa" and giddap." Gee" and
"haw" have been added to the vocab-
ulary with which she is addressed. in
dignant residents say. They are puz-
zled as to how to stop the spectacle.
Although Mrs. Mulcaski had been
doing substitute duty for the horse
for several weeks. general knowledge
of the fact did not come to the resi-
dents of Evanston until the other day.
when she appeared in one Of the prin-
ciple streets drawing the wagon. which
was loaded half ton of iron. Here
tofore her efforts had been confined to
the outskirts, where she astonished
suburban residents and automobile
parties.
During the journey through the
downtown district Of Evanston, her
husband either walked near her or
visited visited houses along the street
in search of chance customers. He
carried whip which he formerly had
employed in urging his horse along,
but he was not seen to strike his wife
with 1t.
Mulcaskis home Is outside of the
Evanston city limits. He occupies q
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

tumbledown cottage. scantily fur
nished.
When the horse became i'll and died
Mulcask was In a dilemma Without
his wagon to haul the junk he could
purchase, he was unable to make .
living, and he had no money with
which to replace the dead horse. Then
the thought of Harvesting his wife tc
the wagon occurred to him.
Efforts to use the same harness with
which tine horse had drawn so many
loads over roads which were almost
impossible proved unsuccessful until
1t was cut down. Straps we're fitted
about the shoulders of Mrs. Mulcaski.
who weighs nearly 200 pounds. and the
experiment was undertaken. She
found that she could draw the wagon,
even'if 1t contained a moderate load.
Mulcaski kept to the outskirts of the
town at first with his novel "steed,"
but lately he has been venturing more
closely to the center of the city. The
result was the general protest against
the woman being allowed to draw the
wagon.
That Mulcash is doing prosperous
business is evidenced by the size Of the
load of Junk which was in his wagon
Bottles, iron and rags were heaped
into the vehicle far above the top.
'whoa!" the junk dealer called out
on one occasion, when he darted
around to the rear Of house where
q customer was waiting.
The wife drew the wagon up to the
curbing, stopped and waited patiently
until her husband appeared with .
bundle OF rags he had purchased.
At times Mulcaski was seen to con-
suit with his wife concerning pur.
chases he had made and routes to be
| taken. In addition, she was watchful
for chance customers, pointing them
out when her husband failed to notice
| them.
This was an advantage he did not
enjoy when bis horse was alive. Be.
sides, he had to buy oats and hay, tie
| the animal up when he was to be alb.
sent for some time and even blan.
ket 1t.
Some of those who have watched
| Mulcaski's movements assert that he
does not always walk when his wife
is drawing the wagon
This, and many other stories, an
| told of the strange woman who haa
taken W ~ bgEaA q the horse. :.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

the cowman could interfere, had
climbed up to the flrst-story land
ing.
Children on the upper floors were
about to descend and hurry to school.
but they couldn't get downstairs.
The cowman, In desperation, ap-
pealed to . fire company across the
way, and for half an hour frantic
efforts were made to get the cows
down without hurting them. But
they wouldn't bulge.
Police headquarters was then rung
up, and reserves were hustled to the
scene. Again. for more than an hour,
the tussle continued. But the cows
wouldn't listen to reason, nor would
they move when jabbed and pushed.
Finally some one suggested that
the animals be blindfolded and led.
The police wrapped blankets around
the creatures heads, and as they
the cows, not the police = were
afraid to go home in the dark, they
went with great docility down the
stairs and joined the herd.
They won't climb any more stair.
ways, excepting in a butcher boys
basket, and in small pieces.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

handled money at all. he was
millionaire, too, but he did all his
business with checks. and seldom had
more than $50 on his person, and he
was miserable and dyspeptic.
Now, of course. there are persons
Of imagination who go through life
using checks and feeling rich, but 1t
takes a good deal Of imagination to do
so, and for me the pretty green ten
dollar bill means ten times as much
as the check for ten dollars.
OF course. checks have their uses.
and / use them myself. When a
bill for some prosaic thing. like re-
pairs to the coal chute. comes in,
send out q check in payment, but II
] am buying q book that have long
coveted, you may be sure that hand
out real money for It. The book rep
resents something tangible, and /
win not insult the book dealer by send
ing him cold. unfeeling check.
II wanted to bring happiness to a
widow. whose husband had died leav-
ing her destitute, do you think that !
would send her . check for a thou
sand dollars! II you do. you don't
know me.
III were going to do the thing ut AL
I would . to her house with one
thousand crisp dollar bills. and ! would
resolve her thanks tor each one. But
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04
COWS PREFER PRIVATE
HOUSE TO ABATTOlR
PAIR OF eovINEs, DESTINED FOR
SLAUGHTER, AMPLE UPSTAIRS
AT PATTERSON, N. :.

New York.-An entire fire company,
police reserves from one station, one
cowmsn and many citizens with ropes
figured in a ludicrous attempt to
thwart the desire Of two cows to occu-
by rooms at 552 Newark street. Pater-
son, N. J. The cows were Of herd
which was driven into town from the
vicinity of Secaucus.
The two mollies in question may
have OWNED the fact that they were
destined for q slaughter house, and
unreasonably objected to being
knocked on the head. So they am
bled genially into the doorway Of
the Newark street house. and before
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

II is queer thing about gratitude.
Her thanks for the first bill would be
heartfelt, but by the time had reached
the first hundred she would have
grown tired of thanking me. and l
verify believe that before l had hand
ed in the last bill she would have
asked me If couldn't be little more
expedient. Thus usage dulls the
senses
On the other hand, do you suppose
that II were sued for thousand dol
lars l would pay the complainant In
good green money? No, a thousand
times. no. 1 would purposely buy the
smallest blank check that could find,
and In my most minute chirography,
and with an autograph that was bare
ly good, l would sign 1t. and thus
would feel that l was getting OF
cheap.
In some things most of US are in
tensely mean, and among the expendi-
lures that offend mems souls are those
paid into a railroad company's grasp
ing NAV. ] hold myself no better
than the rest, and, II possible. al
ways travel in company with another,
and before we start out I give him
money to cover the expenses, and he
buys the tickets and feel that have
not spent so much.
One objection have to royalties is
that they. always come in the form Of
a check-when they come at all. One
time, though, my publisher varied 1t;
instead of sending q check he sent
q bill. You see, had given at least
ten copies of the book at Christmas
time, and. of course. the balance was
in his favor. Do you know, really
enjoyed the thing for change.
By the way. that receiving of royal
ties, even II they are paid in check
form, IL q good game. You sell your
stories for 30 much. and then. when
they are all printed. you are induced
to make q book of them. Well. you
have already been paid for them. so
that you stand to gain, whatever hap
pens. 1t may be only ten dollars
that win come to you. but it may be
$4,000, and the Joy Of looking
forward to royalty day Ii one
that cannot b expressed IN words.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04
NO SKIN LEFT ON BODY.
For Six Months Baby Was Expected
70 Die with Ecxema-Now Well
Doctor Said TO Use cutieura.

"Six months after birth my little girl
broke out with eczema and had two
doctors In attendance. There was not
q particle of skin left on her body, the
blood oozed out just anywhere. and we
had to wrap her in silk and carry her
on q pillow for ten weeks. She was the
most terrible sight ever saw, and for
six months looked for her to die. !
used every known remedy to allevi-
ate her suffering. for 1t was terrible
to witness. DR.. c. gave her up. DR..
B recommended the Cuticurs
Remedies. She will soon be three
years old and has never had sign
of the dread trouble since. We used
about eight cakes Of Cuticura Soap
and three boxes Of Cuticura Ointment
James J. Smith, Durmid. Va. Oct u
and %. 1906"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

him that II he'd show me q horse that
want goin' to die I'd give him my
farm. felt that he had the worst Of
1t and would have evened 1t up the
best way / could, but before / got
through havin' fun with him he got
mad and went away and hired q law
yer to prove that / was a liar and al
together the worst man in the COM
munity.
Il never got such scorin' In my
life. felt sorry for my wife and chill
dren. l didn't think that anybody
would ever speak to me again. and !
told the lawyer that would make 1t a
personal matter between me and him.
expected the justice to decide dead
against me, but he didn't. He had
been a horse trader himself.
We'll, after the thing was over with
l took the horse / got from the Teller
and went over to his house about ten
miles away and turned the nag loose
In his lot l did it not because l was
sorry for him, but because 1 was
afraid of myself-afraid that l couldn't
sleep, and / was workin' hard and
needed rest. Well, sir, that night
the nag that I'd turned into the lot
ups and dies. and the Teller swore that
had hauled him there after he was
dead, and hanged II he didn't sue me
again. He got the same lawyer and
he made me out a worse man than
was before. Made 1t appear that had
poisoned the horse and dragged him
over there. Then / swore that the
whole county couldn't hold me back
from takin' 1t out of his hide.
so the first chance got l went to
to the courthouse and he was maxim
a speech, and wish may die dead II
| the Teller he was a skinnin' this time
want the very man that had sued me
l never hearn anything like 1t. Tip
toed and called him all sorts of a
scoundrel; said that he had defrauded
me, as honest man as lived in the
state. l couldn't stand that, / walked
on out and after a while he came
along and held out his hand and called
me Uncle Linz just as II was his
mothers brother. Then he clapped
me on the shoulder and you could
have heard him laugh more than a
mile He said he was a comm out to
go fishin' with me.
well, / let him of, and after we
had got to be right good friends,
asked him how he happened to be en-
gagged against my enemy. and this Is
what he said: oh, l wasn't. Some
Of the boys told me you were comm
into the house and l knew that you
were troublesome when you set your
head to it, so as court wasn't in ses
sion / started in to maxim speech
against the fellow so you could heal
me- and he clapped me on the shoul
der and you could have hearn him
laugh more than two miles this time
Get lawyer with fun in him ant
he's all right. Once l had some bust
ness on hand-the settlement Of my
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

A lawsuit had been tried on the
veranda of the crossroads store. and
when ii had been settled Limuel Juck-
lin, who had watched the proceedings,
took the homemade chair, vacated by
the justice, leaned back against the
wall and rermkaed: Rather bad, this
thing of goin' to law. And amt it
peculiar state of society that educates
men to stimulate quarrels? We may
say that they amt trained for that
purpose, but unless there are misun-
derstandin's the lawyers work Is cut
OF, and he's got little too much of
Old Adam in him not to look out for
his own interest"
You take a wrong view of the mat
ter" replied a young lawyer.
That is just about what / expected
you to say. But grantin' to the lawyer
all he can claim for himself 1t must
after all be allowed that the bickerin's
and shortsightedness of the human
family give him the most of his excuse
for Twin perfect state of civiliza-
ton would argue perfect honesty. and
III
would be powerful scarce. There Is
no denyin' of the fact that some of the
greatest men have been lawyers and
that the most of our presidents have
practiced law. And so have some of
the immortal geniuses been soldiers,
but II man had been just and peace
able there never would have been
any need for the soldier"
According to your view, then" said
the lawyer, there is no real need for
anybody that"
That doesn't build up" Limuel
broke in. winking at his former
friends. Every man ought to produce
somethin'. If he don't he's livin' on
somebody that does. The only real
occupation is the one that makes the
world better. Understand. Iow,
have nothin' against anybody's calm
I'm Just expressin' my opinion and 1t
must be taken for what it is worth.
But the lawyer shows us one thing If
snothin' more-how keen a mans mind
may be whetted. / recollect once that
a fellow sued me. We had snapped
horses"
"And you had got the better Of him,
,eh?" said the lawyer.
well, that's the way it looked to
him. The horse let him have died
that night. He asked me If the horse
was sound and l said l never had
heard any complaint, and hadn't. He
had never been under the care of a
doctor so far as knew. His appetite
was good and he'd bat his eye when
you motioned at him. l might have
seen him fall down-have seen men
fall, but / didn't think that they were
goin' to die. / told him a child could
drive him. A child did drive him out
of the garden that day. Well, we
snapped. and, as I say. his horse was
taken sick in the night and died be.
fore day. He came back to me and
swore that had swopped him horse
that l know'd was goin' to die. l told
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

brothers estate-and 7 went to old
Tom Cantwell and asked him how
much he would charge me. and he al
mosttook my breath with the amount
he named. l knew he was a man of q
good deal of ability-liked fun, and ]
says to him like this: Tell you what
arrangement to make, colonel. I've
got mighty fine chicken out at my
house and II you can fetch out one to
whip him I'll engage you and pay your
price, but If my chicken whips yourn,
why you do the work for nothin'.' He
was a man of ability and he agreed.
All, me. there amt such lawyers about
here these days. l recollect once
he"
But did the fight come off?" some
one inquired.
"Oh, that fight? Yes, held tallow
candles for it one night, and you'd
have thought it was snowin', the
air was so full of feathers. My wife
kept on a calm out: Limuel, what
are you a dom there In the smoke
house. and / always answered: I'm
diggin' up a rat. Go on to bed. I've
most got him now :
Il don't know how long they fit-
other roosters were CROWN all around
the neighborhood when they got
through. But my chicken crowed last,
and the colonel gave me his hand with
feathers stickin' to 1t, and says, says
he: Lin, you've got me and I'll take
care of your business
Best settlement l ever made. He
took care of the business right up to
the handle, and when he had got
through he lowed, he did, that he could
find bird that could whip mine fol-
the estate-said he'd put up his Law
books and his house and lot against It
but it looked too much like gamblin'
so backed down. oh, he would have
done it. Ablest lawyer in the county
It's a pity all lawsuits couldn't be set
tied somewhat in that way-as fairly
I mean.
Il was Just thinkin'," he added aft
er few moments of silence, 'hov
much trouble the old world has beer
put to tryin' to govern man. Every
year or so the legislatures meet and
make laws and unmake them, always
experimental with man. The trouble
with him is he don't know what hi
wants and don't know what to do will
it after he gets it, And the lawyer 1:
the outgrowth of his restlessness and
|. his ignorance"
Think there will ever come time
wien there are no lawyers? ?" the young
advocate inquired, and the old maj
scratched his head.
"Oh, yes, that time will come. bu
it will be the time when there ism
anything. The lawyer has come to sta,
as long as the rest of us do. He's |
smart man and a good Teller for tn,
most part, and is nearly always within
to forgive you when he has done yol
a wrong, and / want to remark RICH
here that this argues the EXTREMIST o
liberality."
Downright by Opie Ready
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

You do not hear much about the
sale of your book: your friends say
nothing about it, but perhaps they
are keeping it's phenomenal success a
secret from you. You live In the
country, and you never see the Book
man, so you do not know what the
six best sellers are. but you have
your suspicious. At last the fate
full day arrives, the familiar envelope
of your publisher comes to you by
mail, and as you open 1t check fut-
tiers out. You remember the stories
of du Maurier and "Trilby," and how
his publishers sent him several thou
sands over and above the contract
agreement.
To be sure, 1t is only check, and
not money, but. after all, any bank
will convert a check into money II
you are known, and your book has
doubtless made you known through
the wide world.
You pick up the check and close
your eyes until you are holding It
right in front of them. The Second
National bank of New York. Pay to
the order of yourself s47.50. Harp,
Serb. & Co."
1t isn't quite what you thought It
would be. The book is not one of
the six-yet- Still, after the first dis
appointment is over, you reflect that
it is all clear gain, and you 90 to
the bank and have 1t converted into
new dollar bills, and then you go down
town to the bookstore and you buy
thirty odd books that you have wanted
for years.
No, you don't. You know very well
you don't, for the same mail that
brought the check brought its antith-
esis in the form of a bill from the
gentleman who raised the price Of
beef on you, and the other gentleman
who charged you eight dollars q ton
for coal, and like a good little man
you sit down and you write out two
checks which take up AZ Of the dollars.
But take my advice and get the bet-
ter of fortune by taking the twenty
that is left-and your wifs-and going
into town for small jamboree. Re
member that q jamboree. small though
it be, remains In the memory long
after the memory Of = paid bill has
left you
Pay the bills, but save enough out
Of the cost of your clothes for . little
jamboree. Clothes warm the body.
but jamborees warm the cookies Of
the heart. and man who neglects the
cookies of the heart to put Jaeger
underwear on his lusty limbs has
failed in his duty toward himself
and his better half
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

ONCE knew a
millionaire W h 0
always carried his
m o n ey around
with him In bills,
There were some
one dollar bills,
m ore ten-dollar
bills, and many
hundred and thou
sand dollar bills.
He always car
ried them In a
suit case with an
ordinary lock and
key, and he told
me that he was
happy just be-
cause he had the
actual money.
His brot b Q r
b ardly ever
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04
CHILDREN SOUGHT THE FAIRIES.
Discovered, Blue with Cold, on Edge
Of Swamp, After Two Days.

Baltimore, Md.-For two days and
nights bands of neighbors searched
the countryside for Frank and Emily,
the two-year-old son and the four-year-
old daughter of a farmer. Frank Emala,
who tcddled away from home to find
the fairies. And the fairies had al
most waited them away from earth
forever when a man found the two
little ones lying snuggled closely and
unconscious on the edge of a water
filled swamp, almost within a stones
throw of their home.
The search began ut noon on re-
cent Thursday, and by Friday morning
the parents had given up all hope, but
they still searched, and all Friday
night, too, beating bushes, tramping
the sunken swamp lands, calling the
names Of the two babies, all to no
avail. Saturday, when all had given
up hope and had joined the father and
mother in lamenting the children,
Harry Pielert, . trapper and fisherman.
came upon them.
They lay WIN tnelr arms around
each others necks. Emily's skirt was
stretched across the bare legs Of her
little brother in a pathetic attempt to
protect them from the Icy water, and
she had wrapped her small cotton
waist about his neck 30 that he might
not get "sore throat"
Both children still held little bou.
Duets of arbutus in their hands.
Pielert tucked them both under his
arms and hurried to the house. less
than q quarter of mile away.
Doctors revived them after hours
of working, for both were nearly dead
of starvation and the freezing cold Of
the two nights they had been lost
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

Whom did you say she was goins
to marry?"
"A Hungarian count"
"Oh. 1 thought you said hungry.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

For upwards OF fifteen years Hunts
Cure has been sold under strict guar
antee to cure any form Of itching skiA
troubles known. No matter the name
-less than one per cent. Of the pur-
chasers have requested their money
back. Why? It simply does the work.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04
Catarrh Twenty-Five Years
Had a Bad Cough.

Miss Sophia Kittlesen, Evanston.
Illinois, u. 8. A., writes:
II have been troubled with catarrh
for nearly twenty-five years and have
tried many cures for Il, but obtained
very little help.
Then my brother advised me 10 try
Peruna. and did.
my health was very poor at the time
I began taking Peruna- My throat was
very sore and / had . bad cough.
ssPeruns has cured me. The chf0afo
csfarrh Is gone and my health r. vefy
much Improved.
81 recommend Peruna to al my
friends who are troubled - was"
PERuM LAGlETSs-Some people pre-
fer tablets, rather than medicine In .
fluid form. Such people can obtain Perm
ma tablets, which represent the medici-
nal ingredients Of Peruna- Each tablet
equals one average dose Of Peruna-
Man-a-lIn The IDEAL Laxative.
Maaufactured BY Peruaa Drsg Mass-
tsctusisg Coapsnys Csoum6us, Oaie.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04
ogMslDLg CHAP.

First Girl-What did he do when
you told him he mustn't see you any
more?
Second Girl-Turned the lights outi
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-04

His Satanic majesty has learned
the art Of getting something for moth
ing.