The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-06-02
The Diplomacy
of Bangs
BY ADA LYNN.


KMR. BANGS sauntered up the
1Wh gravel walk at a gait which
was strictly his own, guaranteed
not to be initiated even by those who
knew the means of its acquisition.
"In tn good OF summer time." car
oled he, Ticking an imaginary mos
quito from his rubicund neck-"in tn
good Oh"
'Good old nothing" came in acid
tones from the veraDda. Where have
you been. coming home at this hour,
making a fine exhib-"
"M'dear," and Mr.. Bangs stopped
short on the walk M drew up in the
attitude of Washington crossing the
Delaware. "wha' right have you to
speak to me in such a manner? Ain 1
a good husban'? Didn' l come out here
to live to please you? Dom 1 get up
Sundays and NOW the lawn? Ain I
&, ne without milk and eggs three
mornings a week because the milkman
didn' get ere? Ain l crossed lots from
that station KILN mosquitoes by the
hundred to get to this lovely summer
villa? Ain 1 a good husban' to do
these things for love Of the best wife in
the worl'? An now you 'cuse me O.
bein' ~'toxicated,' and still holding his
imposing attitude, he glared, and
waited for a reply.
"yVho said you were intoxicated?"
asked the vinegary voice.
Mr.. Bangs looked surprised, then
thoughtful "Sure enough, you didn',
did you, dear? Where'd I get that
idea?'' He pondered a moment, then
announced, ooh, yes, Smiths wife said
it. Met Smith on the train, an he was
well, you know I'm a man of a very
few words an that l don't talk. but
Smith was-pickled," this last brought
With explosive force, as Mr.. Bangs took
a couple of steps forward, now deem
ing it safe to approach the piazza.
Eyes, picked" he reiterated,
"pickled. An him with such a lovely
wife. Says 1, Smith, 1 wouldn't be a
man like you for all the money in the
worl'.' Smith he just grunted. my
dear, grunted. Tha' shows what
drinkll do to a man."
what did Mrs. Smith say?" came in
curious tones from behind the honey
suckle vines, as the creaking of a rock
ing chair became audible.
Bangs grinned. It's a wise man that
knows how to manage his own wife.
WIFI ulu size say. W0d QlQH Sne
say?" he asked impressively. 'If you
were like her, m dear, I'd drown myself
in rum, 1 would" and he thumped his
fist on the porch. "She called him a
bum an a loafer, her own husban', and
she got him by the arm, right in from
o. me, an toll him to get in tn house
an get to bed, fore his children came
and saw him. Now then!"
Ibid she say anything else?" BY this
time Mrs. Bangs's tones were of liquid
sweetness.
mo, L didn' hear, I walked away.
M dear. she actually had the UNI
paralleled audacity to say 1 got i'm
that wayl9Me! a man with a reputation.
to get another man 'nebriated! I JUS
walked away, too full O. grief to reply.
But you should a heard tn things she
called me. An she said you didn'
know 'nough to keep me straight.
an -"
Their was a rustic In the porch, and
a slam of a screen door. A moment
later Mr.. Bangs watched a plump femi-
nine figure swing down the side path
in the direction of the Smiths When
it reached the turn in the road he ven
tured to emit a chuckle. Jus had to do
it. When a woman's mad she shows
no consideration. My wife's tongues
hung in the middle. Ways at both
ends. Guess Mrs. Smith'll be surprised.
But I couldn't stand to hear her call
me down in such a. unfeelin' way, could
II" he asked of the piazza post, IAN
I'll be asleep when she gets back" and
into the house he shuffled.
Truly. he is a wise man who knows
the way of a woman.