davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26

The Big Four railroad-Cleveland
Cincinnati. Chicago and St Louis
has its foot in it good and proper
at Pana, Ill. The young ladies of the
town are beauless now just because
the Big Four time table has changed
and the Sunday night train fails to stop
at Shelbyville, Ill. The railroad will
either be compelled To change the or
der of its trains or Shelbyville will
have a surplus of bachelors and Pana
will have an old maids club in the near
future.
Took Kindly to tho Water.
They tell this story of the experience
OF two Maine boys ir trying TO catch
n woodchuck:
They had tried quite a number OF
times to capture the animal, but un-
successfully. At last they decided to
drown him out; so, procuring four
pals. each took two, and they carried
water for two solid hours and poured
1t into the hole in the ground In which
the said chuck had taken up his abode.
Getting tired, they sat down. After
about half an hour the woodchuck
cautiously left the hole and deliberate
ly walked down TO the brook and took
a long drink of water and then scooted,
much to the disanst of tha tvo bnvs-
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
DON'TS.

Don't quote Scripture to the man
who swindles you. It's casting pearls
before swine
Don't feed your chickens rot and ex.
pect them to be fit to eat and lay pure
eggs. It's rotten.
Don't carry chickens by the legs.
It's barbarous business. Ducks are
carried by the neck. Rubber!
Don't sell salt, lime, glass or storage
eggs for fresh stock. It's a mighty
sneaky fox that never gets caught.
Don't let your wife get the reputa-
ton of having all the chicken knowl-
edge on the place. 1t shows you're
lazy.
Don't pretend that you have good
stock to make a SALE Chickens of
that breed always come home to
scratch.
Don't get crazy If your neighbor's
hen flies over the fence, especially
when your ''yaller" dog tracks all the
porches In town. Hiss!
Don't get chicken crazy and mort
gage your house to buy incubators.
When the sheriff comes in at the door
chicken fever flies out at the window.
Don't get the chicken fever simply
because the other fellow won silver
cup. Not every honest fellow gets
silver cup, and all is not silver that
shines.
Don't get the blues If eggs drop in
price. The farmers pullets are max
ing their debut. But, If manager,
you are getting more eggs now than
ever, and the quantity makes up for
lower price.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
At Ono Fell Suoon.

'Have you got any of those prepare
tions for removing supertluous hair?'
asks the man who enters the drug store
nance.
"Yes, SIR" answers the druggist.
"Give me pint. l want to use it OH
my head"
But. man, you haven't got any su.
perfluous hair on your head. You're
nearly bald now"
Il know it. And I've got so aggra-
vated and tired watchingthe confound-
ed hair leaking off day by day that
want to remove the rest of it at one
sweep and have the agony over"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
FEATHERS AND EocsHELLs.

When you look round for eggs for
Matching, don't get the cheap kind.
Too many Canadian chickens are
crossing the line to suit some northern
fanciers.
California business men are Offering
Inducements to poutrymen to settle in
that state. A fine flock of White Leg
horns would look mighty pretty in an
orange grove.
If you have done your best to get
hatch from that old claptrap incubator
and only half succeeded what's the
use to try, try again? Buy depend
able machine and you'll quit swearing.
I'm dirty, and Johns dirty, too" re-
piled lady when asked the age of her
self and husband. In her case she
was dirty and yet clean, but some
poultrymen are never above being
dirty and yet are overdirty.
Pennsylvania raised over 100000
green ducks in 1907. Old JEFF and the
University OF Pennsylvania turned out
a drove of young green quacks, but
they are now outdone. Cornell has cs-
tablished a chair of poultry husbandry.
VIII Old JEFF and the L. of Z. still keep
their slow waddle, or have they enough
quack specialists?
When strictly fresh eggs are taken
TO the store the grocer should allow an
even trade at the retail price If the
poaltryman drops below the retail egg
price, then the grocer should lower the
price on goods exchanged. No fair
dealer will demand two profits. A dog
in the manger is bad, hog in the
hens nest is worse, but cross of dog
and hog In a business deal is a blue
ribbon hybrid.
The prevalence of soft corn is af-
fordlng a problem for farmer, miller,
stock raiser and poultryman to worry
over. In some states half the corn is
moldy We have saved ours by run
ming 1t through the power cutter and
feeding 1t cob and all But where's
the corn to come from next summer?
The duck men will yell the loudest,
but these soft rooster fellows ought
to leap for JOY.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
CHESTNUTS.

The complaints about fruit in poultry
yards may lead to something entirely
different. The fowls get most of the
fruit that falls, and what they miss is
fouled.
At Irish Valley, near Shamokin, Pa,
is an Italian chestnut grove of 100000
trees that bear and n nursery of 130,-
600 young trees. The yield the past
year was 1000 bushels, which were
sold at SO per bushel. These trees
are all grated on our ordinary young
chestnut sprouts and grow on vase
ground. They are extremely hardy.
not tall and require very little atten-
ton. At the same time they pay big
profit.
Is not this a solution of the question.
what fruit can we plant in our poul-
try yards and on free range that will
not be spoiled by the poultry?"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
THE BACK YARD FANcIER.

Is he new bird? No; he is older
even than his oldest hen, and she is
related to the cock that crew thrice.
Is he restricted to any locality? No;
he is everywhere. His rooster chal-
lenge in Maine Is answered by n
Shanghai in Porto Rico. His Plymouth
Rocks clarion to the sun as It rises
from the Atlantic is shouted back by
the cocks Of Honolulu and Manila bay,
where they raise game chickens for re-
ligiOus purposes. You have the back
yard fancier in your own town. He is
so near that when his hen cackles over
Il new laid egg it wakens the baby.
His roosters crow so loudly on Sun
day morning that you are cheated out
Of half days sleep.
This gentleman of back lotters has
thus far succeeded In confning the
chicken fever to n small area. If it
succeeds in reaching the solar plexus,
he will soon have a bad case of poultry
farm. His stock is fair to middlin'"
and generally provides eggs for the
family cakes and custards and an oc-
casional roast for the preacher.
Does poultry pay him? 1t does. If
he makes little profit, his investment
Is small, and he can rejoice. If he
just makes the feed he can buy eggs
and roasts no cheaper, and his princi-
pal has waXed fat. If he falls little
back, he must remember that eggs
from his own hens and roasts from his
own pens are more delicious and vnI-
liable than an unknown quantity.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
Shakespeare Notwithstanding.

SIS there anything in a name? in.
quired the man with mouse colored
whiskers. you can bet there is.
Name boy Stuyvesant or Van Rens.
selaer or Gouverneur and he'll never
hold anything but first class job.
Nobody will ever dare ask him to swab
windows or mop floors. And by the
time he's forty he'll be head of n
trust company and director in twenty
seven prominent concerns. oh, yes;
there's heap in a name, lemme tell
you. u."-Washington Herald
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
HEN FEVER.

My Henny's got the chicken craze.
I'll let you have the cue.
He's cackling bout the hen that lays
And Growing somewhat too.
He's going to buy hatch machine
And send for high priced eggs.
Hes building coops and brooder things.
Most running off his legs.
But that's the way it's every year,
And when the seasons done;
There'll be the same old chickens here
AS when the year begun.
If your old man gets chicken craze,
Just tell him he's n dear,
For when he's got the chicken craze
He's not out guzzling beer.
@ NJ r.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
Tha Inf.illhla Man.

The most dull and wishy washy man
in all the world must be he who never
made a mistake. But he is double
dyed when he Will make no. mistake
himself and lose sleep over the mis-
takes of his neighbor - Manchester
Union
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
Mcn's Wava

We often hear women criticised for
their queer ways of doing things. but
we rise TO call attention to the queer
ways many good men have OF not do
ing things.-Hsllock Enterprise
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
Use For Them All.

You have three pairs of glasses, pro-
fessor"
"Yes; use one to read with. one to
see at distance and the third to find
the other two"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
DON'TS.

Don't use slugshot for vermln. It's
sure chicken and louise killer.
Don't lose your temper Mt a contrary
cluck. Urge her not to do what you
want, and she will do it. Remember
she is female hen.
Don't envy the other fellow. When
you see the birds that he brags up you
LAY laugh yourself full and tip your
hat and apologize to your poorest Gull.
All is not gold that's told.
Don't rush the growler. If you are
doing growing stunts go out and growl
with the bulldog. He will teach you
some new doggerel duets and give you
some choice lessons in backbiting.
oUAcKERY.
Are You a chicken quack7 Shake!
We are glad you aren't a hatchet flend
They tell you "it seldom pays to doc
tor sick chicken" Well. here are
100 big Rocks. They show signs OF
roup. You may lose half dozen In
treatment but the hatchet remedy
cleans up the coop. Yes, that was
civil war surgery. Saw off that leg"
and of 1t came till legs and arms piled
even with the window sill. Oslerize
your chickens? Well, we don't. The
investigation of disease has led to
system of symptoms, causes and cures
Tor poultry ailments that's blessing
10 poultryman and fowl alike.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26

There is nothing worse for mortals
than vagabond life.-Homer.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
At tho Wind's Merov

"Scroggins is always boasting about
his new balloon"
That's all it's good for"
Whats all it's good for?"
"To blow about" Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
The disease Is quite rare.
A Cannon Anecdote.

Speaker Cannon one evening stood in
the receiving line at the Washington
residence of Vice President Fairbanks
passing kindly word and grip with
friends as they ceme along, says the
Chicago Post. At length his own daugh-
ter approached. and, drawing up his
spare frame, he grasped her hand in
formal fashion and inquired, with a
we'll assumed disinterestedness, Your
name, pleaseT" Lydia Pinkham," re-
piled Miss Cannon amiably "Well,
Lydia, my dear, we are well met" thu.
speaker responded, for | guess there's
iust about as much good IN your rene
iies as there is in my presidrntia.
boom "
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
Qs. No, o,NS-u~vAA.
~
Rising In the World.

The mountain village of Antique, in
the Luchor region, in France, is being
gradually raised in elevation. Forty
years ago the village was not visible
from Luchon. Now 1t can be clearly
seen and bids fair to become a strik-
ing object to the entire plain of Lu-
chon. 1t is believed that the noun
tain ledge on which it stands Is slowly
undergoing a rotary movement
Golfer-Dear. dear! There cannot be
worse players than myself!
Caddie-Weel. maybe they're worse
players, but they dinna play!
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
Have You Got "MolIyooddleitis?'

'Mollycoddleitis" is the latest disease,
according to DIR. II. w. Wiley, chief
chemist of the department of agricul.
ture. In a speech at the University
Grub in Washington the other night he
said:
"The man who never has taken o
drink Of alcoholic liquor or the mag
who says, with supercilious air. y
do not drink is afflicted with. molly.
coddleitis.'"
Montour American. (Danville, Pa.) 1866-1920, 1908-03-26
CHECKING
~ RUN.
... By TAYLOR WHITE -.

Copyright, 1908, by E. C. Parcels.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1908-05-16
90 BUSHELS OF OATS
70 THE ACRE.
WHAT Mr.. kALTEN6RuNNER HAS
TO SAY ABOUT His GRAIN
CROPS IN CENTRAL E"
CANADA.

Writing from Regina. Saskatche.
wan, Central Canada, Mr.. A. Kalten.
Drummer writes:-
Some years ago took up a home.
stead for myself. and also one for my
son. The half section which we own
adjoins the Moose Jaw Creek; Is
low. level and heavy land. We put
in 70 acres Of wheat In stubble which
went 20 bushels to the acre, and 80
acres Of summer fallow, which went
rs bushels to the acre. All the wheat
we harvested this year 10 No. Hard.
That means the best wheat that can
be raised on the earth. We did not
sell any wheat yet, as we intend to
keep one part for. our own seed, and
sell the other part to people who want
first class seed, for there Is no doubt
II you sow good wheat you will har-
vest good wheat. We also threshed
5000 bushels of first class oats out Of
100 acres,c 80 acres has been fall
blowing. which yielded 80 bushels
per acre. and so acres stubble, which
went 80 bushels to the acre. These
oats are the best kind that can be
raised. We have shipped three car
loads Of them, and got So cents per
bushel clear. All our grain was cut
In the last week of the month Of
August before any frost could touch 1t.
Notwithstanding. the fact that we
have had late spring, and that the
weather conditions this year were
very adverse and unfavorable, we will
make more money out Of our crop
this year than last.
For myself I feel compelled to say
that Western Canada crops cannot be
checked, even by unusual conditions"
Information regarding free home.
stead lands In Manitoba, Saskatche-
wan and Alberta may be had on appli-
cation to any Canadian Government
Agent, whose advertisement appears
elsewhere. He will give you informa-
ton as to best route and what 1t will
cost you to reach these lands for pur-
poses Of inspection.
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1908-05-16

rector Of the Martin institute. Frank
fort-on-the-Main, Germany. and Rev.
DR.. A. J. Mast, editor of the Christliche
Apologize, Cincinnati. II is under
stood that the German delegates will
choose their standard bearer from this
list, and that the man they select the
general conference will be urged to
elect.
It il just now likely that the eight
new bishops, aside from the German
list already noted, will be found In
the following list Of men who now ap-
pear to be. according to the sentiment
Of the church. taken far and wide. in
the lead. We enumerate them alpha
betically:
Rev. DR.. William r. Anderson, for
the past four years corresponding sec
rotary OF the board Of education. with
headquarters In New York city, has
become widely known in view Of the
ability he has shown az an administra.
tor of the important educational inter
ests which have been in his care. He
Is a west virginian by birth, an
alumnus Of Ohio Wesleyan university
and of Drew Theological seminary. 48
years old and man Of attractiveness
In the pulpit and on the platform.
Or. Bovart Favored.
Rev DR.. Freeman d. Bovard Of San
Francisco, editor of the California
Christian Advocate. and recognized
leader Of the interests of Methodism
on the Pacific coast, has been OF such
use in the rehabilitation Of the city
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1908-05-16

tons. including the 100000 colored
people Of the Methodist Episcopal
church. This aggregation would be
colossal in size and Importance. made
up as follows: African Methodist
Episcopal. $4,000; African M. e.
Zion, $50, 600; Colored Methodist Epis-
copal formerly of the M. z. church,
South, $4,000; making denomina-
ton of about 2.000.0 900 in membership.
including, az do the figures above
given. more than 10000 ministers.
The UNCONVENTIONAL publishing inter.
ests will command attention. Of course,
in view Of their magnitude and vital.
izing relation, to all other interests OF
the church. Messrs- Eaton and Mains,
agents OF the Methodist Book Concern
In New York. with Repositories in
Boston, Pittsbure and Detroit; and
Messrs. jennings and Graham, agents
Of the Western Methodist Book Con-
Germ In Cincinnati, with branches In
Chicago. Kansas City and San Fran
cisco. have for two Quadrenniulns ad-
vanced the business under their care
to a point never before attained. Tho
total assets overrun 100000; the
sales Of books and periodicals aggre
gate 100000 year; last year divi.
dend from the profits of the two estab
lishments was MADE to the superannu
ated preachers Of the denomination.
their widows and orphans. amounting
to $4,000.
For half dozen years there have
been several projects looking to the
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1908-05-16

which he has served since its over.
throw by earthquake and fire. that his
name has been frequently mentioned
as that of the man likely to be put for
ward as the representative Of the men
of the Rocky mountain region and be-
yond in connection with the episco-
pacy. He is a big-hearted man, fine
administrator.
Rev. Danial Dorchester. d. D., pas
tor of Christ church, Pittsburg. viii be
put forward by western Pennsylvania
as fitting man for the SURFACES OF
his brethren. He comes Of stanch New
England stock. Is fine scholar, has q
dozen years Of service in q university
az professor Of letters to his credit,
and is known widely because Of his
breadth Of vision and his largeness OF
manhood.
Rev. DR.. Edwin H. Hughes, presi.
dent of DePauw university, Greencas-
tie, Ind, Is counted on as in the race
by virtue of three combining elements
he has an evangelical spirit in a
marked degree, he has shown himself
an administrator Of skill In his present
post and he represents the educational
field ana work, which need to be recog-
nized In relation to the episcopal Of
fee. He is a graduate OF Ohio Wes-
leyan university and Of the School OF
Theology of Boston university. and
has ably filed some large pastorates.
Rev. DR.. Henry G. Jennings, for IL
years one of the publishing agents Of
the Western Methodist Book concern,
and in that field revealing the Gle
ments of great administrator-intel
ligence, energy, prudence and enter
prise--is considered to have more
than q lighting chance for election.
Other Prominent Candidates.
A representative Of the region b.
yond the Mississippi has recently been
forging to the front. Rev. DR.. w. 8.
Lewis. president Of Morningside col
lege. Sioux City, Ia. whose SUCCESSES
In developing that institution in few
years into its present status and prom
isesindicate him to be man Of sim
gular resources.
Rev. Charles w. Smith, d. D.. editor
for many years Of the Pittsburg Chris
tian Advocate, il being talked Of BY
hosts of friends In different parts Of
the church. His age ID against him.
bnt one of the remarkable things in
the case IL the remark. heard on many
sides: "Dr. Smith would give in four
or eight years OF service the kind Of
work which we need In Methodism. He
10 student Of our economy, master
of our constitutional law. man Of
steady Judgment. q man to be abso'
lutely trusted" It has been said re.
Gently again and again: Even II Nj.
Smith could give but single quad
rennium Of service a. bishop. It would
be worth while to elect him."
Afro-AmsrIesn Element.
Theirs n . movement now going on
which In due time will solve many
| problems connected with the race
1.-The project to unite organically AL the
IAfro-Amsrican Methodist denomina
The L'Anse sentinel. (L'Anse, L.S., Mich.) 18??-current, 1908-05-16

ten OF the conferences being in this
country and three In the Fatherland.
It will be seen, therefore, that this
general conference is parti-colored,
multi,lingual and cosmopolitan as
semblage, with manifold interests
which Identify It with the civilization
and religious life Of many lands.
About 100000 Of the entire member
ship are in foreign missions.
Question OF New Bishops.
The bishops who preside in turn
over this body from day to day are the
center of constant interest. Their
ranks have been thinned by death dur.
ing the quadrennium. Bishops Merrill.
Andrews, Fowler. Fitzgerald. Joyce
and McCabe having died. OF the whole
number the venerable Bishop Thomas
Bowman. who has passed the age of
30, and Bishops Foss, Walden. Malta,
lieu and Vincent are on the roll Of
honor as men retired from the activi-
ties Of the episcopacy. The others on
the active list; Bishops Warren. Good
sell, Cranston. Moore. Hamilton, Berry.
Spellmeyer, Mcdowell, Bashford, Burt.
Wilson and Nicely. are in Baltimore to
occupy the chair as presiding officer.
day by day, in the order indicated
above, which IL the order Of seniority
by election.
The missionary bishops differ from
the officers Just enumerated In that
their episcopal Jurisdiction IL limited
TO the specific fields for which they
were chosen--as for example, Bishops
Thoburn. warne. Oldham and Robin
son, for India and Malaysia: Bishops
Hartxell and Scott. for Africa and
Bishop M. G. Harris, for japan and
Korea. The missionary bishops are
not entitled to preside over the gen.
eral conference.
A question now being widely asked
In all parts Of the church under con-
sideration IL, who will be chosen for
new bishops?
It ID hardly to be questioned that
ct least six new men must be added to
the board OF bishops In order to main
tain its efficiency In the taxing work
of administration. At home and abroad.
OF those on the active list. men In
full vigor. too. one Il at the age Of n
marvelously preserved, and with few
traces Of age upon him; one II almost
70 ana two are es. China IL asking
that two men b assigned for superin.
tendence In that land--one bishop In
addition to Bishop Bashford. who has
spent most Of the quadrennium there;
II