Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-01-10
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that? l haven't got an airship."-
Pick-Me-Up.
Howell-You seem to think that /
Will lose If / make the investment.
Powell-My boy, 1t is just like indors-
Ing note for frlend.-Brooklyn Life.
Friend-So that is your little boy?
He looks very intelligent Proud Mama
Just as was at his age. My daugh-
ter, now, Is more like her father
Nos Loisirs.
"Younging Is going to marry the
widow Henpeck." why, she's twice
as old as he is.' "Oh, well, he'll age
fast enough after the wedding
Town and Country.
That fisherman Is always talking
about the whoppers he caught" "He
doesn't catch them,' answered Miss
/ Cayenne. ''He merely tells them
Washington Star.
Boarder-You can divide a chicken
with mathematical accuracy, Mrs.
Washington. Mrs. Hashington-Divid-
Ing 1t Is easy enough. l wish l could
multiply it-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Mamma" said jamie, mysteriously,
did l ever have a little brother that
fell into the well?" NO." said mamma.
WHY why, when looked down
In the well 1 saw a little boy some
thing like me-"
|
Miss Pechis," said Mr.. Timmid, at
the other end Of the sofa, "if l were to
throw you kiss l wonder what you'd
say" WELL" replied Miss Pechis, I'D
say you were the LATEST man I ever
saw."-Phlladelphia Press
Tom-But perhaps she doesn't love
you. Jack-Oh, yes, she does! Tom
How do you know? Jack-When told
her that l had no money to get married
on she offered to borrow some from he
father-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Dear me, John, this Is dreadful with
hot weather on us and no money t. 90
anywhere. Haven't you any country
relations you can scare up?' That's
the trouble. I've scared all I've got
already. baltimore American.
YES" said the young man, pensive-
ly, "a dog l once had saved my life"
Tell me about It," said the young
woman, with eager Interest. I sold
him for ST." said the young man, when
l was nearly ng"-Tit-Bits
what made Brown marry that
widow?" "Did you ever drop a penny
in a weighing machine and then find
the thing won't work." yes" That's
the reason, what do you mean?"
Couldn't get weigh."-Denver Post.
Wife during the quarrel IL don't
believe you ever did a charitable act
In your life. Husband-I did one, at
least, that have lived to regret. Wife
Indeed! What was 1t, pray? Hus-
band-I saved you from dying an old
maid.-Illustrated Bits.
Frlend-I am afraid your husband
has a very bad cold; he's continually
sneezing. It's quite painful to hear
him. Why don't you ask doctor to
see him? Matron-Well, I'm waiting
just few days because it amuses baby
so to see his father sneeze.-Tlt-Bits
You may not remember me, Miss
Summers" he said, but I was engaged
to you once" "Indeed" the summer
girl replied coldly, you have quite
memory for faces. No." he replied,
glancing at her fair hand, "but have
for the rings l buy."-Phlladelp
Press.
But" protested the space writer,
perhaps you could use this article If
were to boil 1t down." Nothing doing"
rejoined the man behind the blue pen
ell. IF you were to take gallon of
water and boil 1t down to a pint, 1t
would still be Chicago Daily
News.
"Well, anyhow said Cassidy, "the
new mill is fitted up fine. Shure, every
things in its right place." "Not at ALL"
replied Casey, "whin l wint through
there tn other day l seen lot O red
buckets marked Fur Fire Only an,
faix, there was wather in thin PHIL
adelphia Press.
Friend-One Of your clerks tells me
you raised his salary and told him to
get married, under panalty of dis
charge. Business Man-Yes; do that
to all my clerks when they get old
enough to marry. l don't want any
Of your independent, conceited men
about my place.-Tit-Bits
Landlady Ito new boarder who Is
rather stout). am glad to hear that
one Of my former boarders recommend
ed you to my house. Stout Boarder-
Yes, he spoke very highly of 1t. After
telling him that l had tried all kinds
Of antifat without success he advised a
short stay here-Ally SlOper