Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-25
For an Idle Moment


Two Irlshmen, just landed, stoDpsC
at private boarding house On one
hot July night. Retiring sarIy, hey
left the window open and tbs light
burning brightly. The mosqu toes
swarmed into the room and began
biting.
Mike, awakening, called to Pat
to put cut the light. Pat got up and
put it out aud crawled back 10 bed
again.
Pat awoke about an hour later and
found the room full of frefiies and
said: cts no use. Mike; they are
coming in with Ianterns''
The following was told of the pa
tient of well-known New York
physician:
The patient, an elderly gentleman,
became quite i'll while the doctor was
absent upon vacation, the indisposi
ton being the result of too frequent
rotations. A female nurse was at
cnce engaged to care for him in mis-
hotel.
A lady, residing in the same hotel,
became aware Of his lness. ard IN
terested herself to the extent Of enc
morning inQuiring concerning his con-
dition, of the chambermaid.
"Shure, ma am replied Maggie.
can | think he DO be gettin' along
very well. The nurse was sittin' on
his lap this morn in -
An Irish soldier on sentry duty had
orders to allow no one to smoke near
his post. IAN officer with a lighted
cigar approached, whereupon Fat
boldly challenged him and ordered him
to put it out at once.
The officer, with a gesture of dis
gust, threw away his cigar, but no
sooner was mis- back turned than Pat
picked it up and quietly retired to the
sentry box
The officer, happening to Look
around, observed a beautiful cloud of
smoke issuing from the box. He at
once challenged Pat for smoking On
duty.
''Smok ing, is it, sorr! Bedad, and
I'm only keeping it lit to show to the
corporal when he cUmes, as evidence
agin you.
Augustus Thomas, the playwright,
told in recent speech of a hunting
trip he had taken III the south. They
were after 'coOns and 'possums, but
the only trail the dogs struck was one
which made them put their tails be-
tween their legs and turn for rome.
Just what does a polecat look
like?' Mr.. Thomas asked one of his
negro guides.
"A polecat, boss? Why. a pole
cats somefin' like a kitten, only
prettier. Yes, a polecat's a heap
prettier'n kitten, amt it, Sam ~
he said, turning to another negro for
coroborartion.
Sam did not seem SO sure. He hes
itated moment.
"WeIl,' - he replied, scratching his
wool. cts always been nah c1nten-
tiun dat handsome is, as handsome
does. -
Jake was German carpenter. With
his two men, he had driven out to
work on barn. It came dinner time,
and Jake and the boys gathered up
their tools an hurried for the wagon,
tor big bank of black clouds was
gathering. Soon the rain was coming
on at twenty mile-per~hou gait.
just as they reached the wagon the
storm broke, but in they jumped, ex-
pecting to make run for home. AS
it happened, Jake was driving a
speedy little mare, but she had one
fault she would balk, and the exert
ment of the situation put her in mind
of it.
"Git ubl' said Jake, as the rain
streamed down in sheets. "Git ub -
And he piled the CAD, but Molly
wouldn't move.
One O. the hands suggested that
they had better 60 back to the barn
for shelter, but Jake answered,
"Nein, nein; you shust set shtill.