Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-17
CHAPTER TX.
Aftermath.


her pride made either extreme impossible
to her Leonard walked with her she not
resenting but seeming to treat him with
the same old camaraderie to which he
was accustomed. How she did II sh.
never knew. She was SO braced IN 70
the situation that things seemed natural
| to her To do which. had she thought ard
attempted them consciously would have
seemed hideous. Her heart seemed TO
sink within her at every footstep sh.
took and her knees to give way. bu. nv
some divine. desperate courage she was
able TO face each thought But her will
itself seemed TO have lost its primitive
strength. ard 10 he set in tenaci-y rather
than command. Yet the habit Of life was
able TO assert itself: her outward bearing
gave no sign Of the tortured soul within.
Al hrst they went side by side. But as
the underground came closer in their
branches and foliage. one or other had
now and again TO go first and that one
was always Stephen. When she knew
that her face could not betray her. her
heart began To beat less wildly As 10
Leonard there was over him vague feel
ing Of chagrin. of disa ppontment of in
feriority. The position of the dog which
follows Ito heel is hardly one of excep-
tional honor. he was not i'll satisfied when
the path bifurcated. affording him an op-
portunity of turning toward his own
home. Even through the egoism of his
magnificent selhshnass was borne a sense
that he was not wanted. And with that
sense came another. less conscious hut
worthy of remembrance for later use,
that the same force which moved him 10
that sense was not altogether to his uiti-
mate disadvantage. In a purely selfish
nature there is a distinct subconsc:cls-
ness ever on the watch for ultimate gain.
Shephen. who seemed % have eyes in
the back of her head-all over her-he-
came aware of his purpose of parting
from her. and the sense of il give her
new calm and mcrs strength of Sslf-cGn-
troll. In the flush Of il came back some
of her courage. She was able To stand
for few minutes At the parting Of I ~
ways talk ne to her companion with an
easy nonchalance which when he cans
10 think over matters on his way home
and afterward filled him with
easy concern momentary exultation
thrilled her. This. coming after her an
glish of spirit. 50 far served a nervous
stimulant that Leonard. on shaking hands
with her he said goodbye. and noting
the natural flush her cheeks and the
brilliant light in her eyes. had a sudd IN
impulse 10 take her in his arms and
make love to her. The impulse was. how
ever. only momentary. There was some
thing in her air or manner. som ,thing
more definitely negative than her br l.
liant beauty was positive. of such warn
ing repellence that its activity helped to
quicken his departure.
When he had gone Stephen moved on
her way more slowly. She felt that te
seem to lingar would put her in the
wrong: it would never do now to LET
Leonard think for an instant that she
had the slightest concern at parting from
him. Henceforth she was no longer free
to move at what pace she would. She had
a secret 10 keep. an appearance to pre-
serve.
No longer free. The haIf-formed thought
was a momentary anguish: it was as
though her virginity had left her. But
thought and purpose. and the resource.
fulness to carry them into being. and II
necessary into action. are born of an.
guish. The motherhood of pa n is fac.
tor In the making of strong life
As Leonard's steps grew fainter in the
distance she stopped. Then came the
rush of thought. the quick reaction from
her hieh-strung nervous tension. She
would have given the world to be able c
sit down and weep. there and then.
Of the trees. The thousand eyes of ma
ture. animate or inanimate. had no dreae
fer her. IL was the eyes of her own kline
which were full OF peril Not for all the
created world would she have had an,
one of her house. not even a passing
Sculerymaid. see her eyes red or a pallor
of her cheek. Hencefor;h she must be
mistress of herself: of her entire self and
heart. thoroughly that by no mis-
chance forgetfulness could her secret
be betrayed Henceforth, The thought
was full Of endless awe. hut such was &c
be faced And so she took up the burden
of her pain and went on resolutely
crushing back for the present her thought
as she crushed back her tears. though tie
effort cost her such pain as she thought
must be the pain of death. The punish
ment of her arrogant unwomanlness had
she felt. indeed begun. All at once there
burst on her with peculiar viyidness the
idea that her secret was not in her
keeping. She could herself be Scent
under torture. but could she count
Leonard. His attitude and conduct to-
ward her had not been such 10 inspire
either confidence respect. Then with
persistency. and with the
keenness which the desperate nature of
her situation induced. she ran over all her
knowledge of Leonard Everards char
acter. The process was not a long one
flashes.
There was however. this good to her
in the new anxfety-it had for the mo-
ment taken her thoughts from herself
BY the time that the thinn ng OF the
trees and the opening of woodland vistas
made her aware of proximity in the
house. she was more sure of her ability
TO stand scrutiny and To bafiie curiosity.
Ito be continued next Sunday.l