The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-03-25
HAS NEVER FAILED
BREAKFAST FOOD TEST FOR AN
ENGLIsHMAN.
Try This and BE Convinced That
There's Nothing Better to Spring
on 1rlton, Masculine
or Feminine.

A young American woman who has
recently married . British husband
was holding forth one day to group
of friends on the subject OF interna-
tional marriage.
Il do love to read all the bosh that's
written in the papers about 1t" she
said; they paint dark pictures OF the
foreign vulture about to descend on
the American dove, ETC.. ETC., and dis
course learnedly on the causes OF
failure of most of these marriages. and
it's really the simplest thing in the
world-you've got to use discernment,
that's all. There are various tests that
can be applied to men of different
nations, but I'm convinced that there's
nothing better to spring on Briton.
masculine or feminine, than the break
fast-food test.
Il wasn't on to 1t when married, and
1t was Algy's sister who unconsciously
gave me the tip. She came over TO
make US a visit, and own that shook
In my boots. She's older than Algy.
you know, by a good deal, and had
desperate feeling that she disap-
proved of everything American, par
ticularly myself. Algy worked over
time to persuade me to the contrary.
but l was used to our talky-talky
women and quite failed to grasp that
her apparent aloofness might be due
to nothing but shyness.
80 when she asked to be shown
my kitchen 1 Quaked. bravely rose
to the occasion. however, and led her
thither. She frowned bit at the io-
box and said a meat safe would be
far less extravagant at this time OF
year-she smiled openly at my gas
range which she was certain was
'smelly'-but her face was a picture
when her eye fell on the cupboard
shelf where the breakfast foods live.
She first asked what they were. and
volubly explained the different sorts
from sand and shavings through pull
verified whisk- brooms.
she inquired.
"'surely we do returned val
ianty.
"She gave a sort Of grunt, then
looked from the box she was holding.
-'Does Algernon eat them? she
asked in a how-have-the-might
sort Of tone.
HE eats oatmeal 1 explained and
It was funny to see how relieved she
looked. for she had been distressed to
death to see him drink coffee at break
fast In place of the revered and tradi-
tional tea, and I suppose she feared
that he was becoming fundamentally
.Amurrican.' But all she said was:
osAz-, .orrtdDo1s
"Then q sudden thought occurred to
me-rd get her to taste one OF those
breakfast foods. She was holding
box of crispy sweet sort Of things not
unlike popcorn.
".Taste 1t, Amy urged: 1t doesn't
have to be cooked, you know. and its
rather fun to eat 1t right out Of the
box
"She looked darkly suspicious. then
drew out few fakes, holding them a.
II they were slumbering hornets with
n potential sting. But 'sicked' her On.
and eventually she made the leap. l
waited anxiously, and the suspicious
expression slowly left her face. making
room for one of rather pleased sur
prise.
MOI 30 nawsty' 1ho Pionou'
and smiled at me. and from that mo-
nent we were friends.
i've tried 1t on lots Of English peo-
pie since, and later events have never
failed to confirm It's infallibility. for
the unprogressive, UNACCEPTABLE mind
betrays itself every time. So If you
want to marry an Enslishman. invite
him to breakfast-and try IT," she
finished.