The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-07-22
A TALE OF the
WIRELESS"
BY W. r. Smith.

room OF the Ananias club 1T seems
to me the weather man isn't up TO hi
job, His bulletin this morning pre-
dicted fair and warmer, and to-nigh
It's blowing and showing, and gettins
] colder every minute. see by the pa
pers that the wires are down every
where. Wonder how he'll know wha
kind OF weather we're to have to
morrow"
He won't have any trouble on that
score, | reckon" replied Captain Bran
die, tapping the ashes from his pipe
and retilling il, the wireless II help
him out-sthe new station was finished
yesterday, I'm told"
Prof. Meggs drew his chair up a
little closer to the hearth Touching
on such subjects, how would You like
to hear truS story about the wire
| less'-one that proves truth Is strang
er than tiction?" he asked.
The squire smiled specifically 81
he said, I'm always ready To listen
to good story, but I've read SO many
and heard SO many lies about the
| wireless that I'm afraid even yours
might be chestnut. You can tell it.
but | warn you that If it's stale one
Well all drink toddy on you
The professor merely smiled, and
stretched himself out comfortably in
his arm chair.
Two years ago" he began, when /
was teaching school in NerdantFille, a
small village up the Allegheny valley,
a dapper and diamond bedecked chap
hit our town He was iirst-prile
faker, a direct descendant OF the Bib
lical celebrity whose name this club
perpetuates, and he had a scheme that
stamped him as "A smooth-5ore fool
At that he might have made money
by it, seeing as there's one Of his Kind
born every minute, but unfortunately
for the faker he ran up against
friend Of mine, fellow named Bill
Blandel too early in the game
So that you can the better under
stand how it al came to pass III have
~ enlighten you about Bill Bin was
a jolly sort till he got married Put
he got hitched up wrong His wife
proved TO be the most churlish woman
IN Verdantyille and just naturally en-
joyed making Bill's life miserable.
Whenever he'd express an opinion
she'd cross it and start arguing, and
before Bin could say more'n word or
two she's grow indignant and would
bring skillets. saucvpans and other
cooking utensils into the argument
and they'd most always land some
where on Bill
"Of course. that soured his dispos
ton for such treatment showed him
that he'd miscalculated about his AZ
Guity BW being Of church going !
stock BIN bowed to the burden pat |
on linn by wedlock, and one dag when /
Mrs Blaulel got So angry that she !
took fit and died in it, Bin actually /
red | kind of think, though, that /.
he wept for joy for when he and I
We're riding home from the burying T.
ground on the day his wife was laid .
away Bin said to me tearfully, 81, I.
this is the happiest day OF my life
Now about the faker-he told Bin
that this wireless telegraph invention
Is the eighth wonder OF the world. and
hat he was working for hundred
company that had a
wireless station on one of the Egyptian
pyramids where messages We're re-.
'eived constantly from St Peter about
he people up above. He said his
ompany was utilizing the messages
n making books. directories. as II
we're. with all the angels names in
hem. showing whore each angel was
rom. how they were feeling and how
hey were passing the time III"
owed his company was preparing
Wch a directory Tor every city ard
own in the world including Nerdart
lille. and that Nerlantville must Be
mighty pious place because the proof
h..ts Of the directory his company
sas preparing showed the names #
early every one that was buried IN
'u. village
He gave BIN o great jolly about
ilIs being "A leading citizen, a1d OK
aaiucd that for that reason Tho com
any particularly wanted TO nave Bits
anne at the head Of It's Verlantyiile
list and that II Bill
would head It he could have a copy Of
he directory for ten dollars, in ad-
ance. although the regular price was
ifty-ten dollars down and five dol
ars a month thereafter.
"Bill was naturally gullible-his
marriage had shown that and he was
much taken with the proposition, until
e asked for word from his departed
etter-h half When the faker started
elling Bill about her Bill got frantic
nth rage. Catching the faker by tho
ollar he yanked him around the cor
er to the lookup. There he was held
5 a suspicious character for a while,
ut as nobody appeared to prosecute /
i'm. he was fined and ordered ont Of
own. \,
He might have secured some sub
cribers for his imaginary directory
mong the innocent folks Of Nerdsnt-
lille, if he hadn't told Bill Blandel that
irs. Blandel was in Heaven longing
Or Bin to join her"
What did the takers fine amount