Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-02-27
REASONING
1T OUT
The Girl Won, of Course, But
Not by Argument

They sat up straight and listened
for mothers approaching footsteps, but
not a. drum was heard, not a funeral
note
Gertrude put her head back on Her
bert's shoulder.
Mother didn't hear" she giggled.
TITS WONDER" said Herbert. 1T
sounded like an old cow pulling her
foot out of swamp"
Louder than that" said Gertrude;
IL sounded like Old Bob the hickman
chirping his horse, and when old Bob
chirps his horse, you know, you can
hear him all over town"
Yes; know" said Herbert, "but
even so, he doesn't chirp his horse as
loud as COW pulls her foot out Of a
swamp"
It'd like to know why not!"
1T stands to reason. OF course, Old
Bob makes a loud noise when he
chirps his horse; we'll all admit that;
but when an old COW pulls her foot out
of swamp it just naturally stands to
reason that she can make more noise
than ever Old Bob could"
"No, Herbert"
eyes, Gertrude.'s
No, Herbert"
eyes, Gertrude.*' :.
mo" N
eyes," =.
mo"
"Yes.'
Herbert Knight, just want you to
understand that you don't necessarily
know it all, even if you have been to
college, and just want to tell you
again that if Old Bob was chirping his
horse at the same time that the old
COW was pulling her foot out of the
swamp, why, you just wouldn't be able
to hear the old cow-that's ALL"
But, my dear girl"
Don't you call me your dear grill"
But, Gertrude! Listen! Listen to
reason! 1 love you dearly, but let the
basis of our love be reason! That is
the only enduring love! Now, when
Old Bob chirps his horse, how does
he make the sound. With his lips?
Very well, now let us say that Old
Bob's mouth is three inches wide.
Let us even say 1t is four, and that
when he chirps he presses his lips
together until the surface of contact
is four inches by one inch-a total of
four square inches. Now, on the other
hand, here's the COW"
Il just don't care! When Old Bob
chirps his horse"
Just one moment, please Now
here's the COW and we'll say that her
hoof is three inches in diameter or,
say, nine inches in circumference.
Let us also say that it is three inches
high, SO when her foot is in the swamp
there is total contact surface of II
square inches as against Old Bob's
four"
That makes no difference. When
Old Bob chirps his horse you can"
"Of course it makes difference.
And when you take into consideration
the fact that the COW has so much
more strength than Bob, and that her
foot Is of such shape that it lends it,
self most peculiarly and particularly
TO the production of a loud, chirping
sound, why, then, my dear"
Don't you call me your dear"
But, Gertrude, your stand is so
ridiculous!"
She looked at him with a face like
ice.
For the last time" she coldly cried.
i say that it sounded like OLD Bob
when he chirps his horse!"
He gazed back at her like man who
rs being sorely tried, but who will die.
for his convictions.
And l say" he as coldly answered
that it sounded like an old COW null.
ing her foot out of swamp"
L warn you now!" she ca,,t,oned
him, and with the air of one who fires
last shot over an enemys bow sha
exclaimed: "Old Bob!"
i cannot help it," he decisiyely an.
sWered, and with the aspect of a man
mailing his colors to the mast 10
clenched his teeth and retnrnoa. no,s
cow!" -eu' olu
old Bob!' she cried.
,, va cow" he firmly responded
"Old Bob!" ou
"old cow!"
"Bob!"
"Cow"
"Bob!"
"Cow!"
she slowly took off his r,ne o.,
STOW gave 1T to him. averting her
Co., CO. suddenly and sobbing: "G-g.go!
6-g,go! can never be yours!" o.
,oua nu', my dear girl! Gertrude! NV
!oYe! Listen to me! You must LEY