davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

men. but up to date, only fat men have
called for 'em and used 'em. You see.
fat women never really know that they
are fat. and if they know it, they won't
acknowl-well. anyhow. they won't come
RIGHT smack out, just like that. and ask
for spec ally made seats for PLAT pholks.
But there are a hundred times ten fat
m n in New York for every double seat
pancy who will eagerly pay the double
price for the increased comfort. 1t is
thus a pleasure to be able to record the
fact that fat men. after all these long.
weary ages or trinu! ation. are at last oo-
tanning little bit Of recognition. Be
cause you see. you can't well mag ne
anything much more distressing. not to
say pitiful, than the spectacle Of sure
enough fat man ScroOnching around. try
ing to look as If he enjoyed himself at a
theater while he's crunched into Il seat
that is all OF nine inches too narrow for
his physical-er-conform
A FEW afternoons ago. on a Coney Is
"A land boat. there was little incident
that embraced many OF the elements or
beauty. The steamboat was crowded
with women and children. but not many
men, out for an afternoon Of salt air. The
boat had no sooner showed off from her
Battery pier than a huge ruffian oil the
New York steamboat eXcur-
sion type started In to make II SAD Tor
all hands. His idea Of humor. IMPAIRED
10 him by the numerous scuttles OF suds
which he had absorbed before boarding
the boat, was to accidentally on purpose
shove shrinking womens hats over their
heads, to pull the stools out from beneath
them and to pick UP screaming young
ones and hold them precariousiy over the
steamboat rail- pretending that he was
about 10 drop them into the seeming
sea. The women screamed. the children
howled and most of the trousered moi
yitluals on the boat skunk out of sight
so as to avoid the remo;est peril Of COM
ing into conflict with the bully. The Of
ficers of the boat from the skipper down.
were. as usual, IN like circumstances III
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

would-be runaway boy who hankered to
be train robber fizZled out in his de-
sire as he thought about the home cook
ing, and how he began TO whimper
around the freight yard. and how two
or three kindly. grizzIed freight hands
asked him what allied him and how they
finally got his story out of him. and how
they alphabetically advised him To go
home fast rs he could To his paw and
NAV. and how he hated TO go home. be-
cause he didn't know how he was going
to square things for having remained
out all night. and how. eventually. he
became so bedinged hungry that he just
naturally had to abandon all thought of
becoming a robber Of trains. and how
he went home and skunk in by the alley
way after dark and how his dad nailed
him as he tried to creep into bed.
anil took down the trunk strap and
whaled him good. and how his ambition
to be a train robber all oozed out OF
him, and
And all like that-a lot OF it, always
and infallibly just like that.
However,
A strict regard for veracity and an
almost violent determination never to be
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

;eresting if he tried? Humidity is the
usual explanation, but it doesn't explain
AZ all. at all. It IS entirely too simple
sounding. There must be some fine,
long, high-sounding scientific name for
that peculiar quality in the airless at
moSphere of the National capital that
axes thc starcn ont of man and beast
very blessed minute that the thcrInomF-
ter registers above 90. And when leo is
reached endurance is stretched To the
breaking point. sleep departs from. the
Sweiterng body and residence within
he city limits amounts to positive tor
ture. Witness last Tuesday night, for in
stance. 1t may have been hotter in
Washington during the memory OF the
oldest inhabitant, but there seems to be
MI absolute unanimity of opinion that
no more distressing blanket of maddening
damp heat ever rested upon this city.
And the mere matter of temperature
doesn't seem TO cut any figure. either.
For instance. couple of years ago
when 1 was travelling in Canada the c.
p. train was held up for an hour or so
at Field and the members OF our party
got out of the car, happy for a chance to
stretch their cramped legs. They tramped
up the side of the mountain and down
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

lugged into court. This captain of police
told me of one woman. now living in
superb home on Long Island. who pros
pered SO exceptionally in her working of
the breach-of-prOmise game that she
picked up something like half million
dollars al II in the course OF fifteen years.
She has now retired from the business
and is addressing herself TO the careful
education OF an accomplished family OF
sons and daughters, who know nothing
of their mammals record a gouger.
The police captain instanced the case OF
another female schemer of this sort VINO
had three separate and distinct breach
of-promise suits running IN three different
cities at the same time, the woman hgur-
ing in each case under different name
and she won two of the suits at that,
But the New York papers. which take
to this sort of thing as felnes gloat over
catnip, are liable to go without breach
of-promise headlines for quite spell
nov. since Mae Wood Senator Platt's
pursuer. got thrust into the Tombs on
the perjury charge. and since. just 4 Few
days ago. another woman fell SO severely
down on her case that she, too. was
stuffed into Il warm cell. Thus do New
York's fayorite industries slump and go
to pieces one after the other. Oh. Well
A n actress of considerable note no.
"A toriesy or something. whose taking
up with mental science was neatly ex-
plotted by the press agent year or so
ago. figured in an elevator accident in a
New York department store couple Of
months ago. One of her arms was
broken. She sued the proprietor Of the
department store for $4,000 damages.
The case was on trial last week.
Now you know. your arm was not
really broken, said the lawyer for the
defence more or less ironically. to the
n.,t~ mi "a sci
list suffer a broken arm? 1t is prcpos-
ferrous. Your broken arm, according TO
your mental scientist doctrine, l un-
derstand IL. was simply error-yoU
had a belief of mortal mind. or something
like shat. that your arm Was broken But
il wasn't broken at all, of course. Now,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

uous and chilled, and-but. never mind.
give me a glass. And I poured another
measure of the compound into my system
and laid down another 3 cents
The little vendor looked at it longingly
for moment. then picked up one of the
pennies and pushed the other two back
toward me.
IT'S on'y cent a glass;" said She
why. how is that?" I queried curious
1y. The little girl up the street is sell
ing hers for 3 cents q glass and 1t isn't
bit better than yours.
Il know. sir" replied the little girl-a
conscientious kidlet you'll see-"but
the St. Bernard puppy had a fit and fell
in ours and we thought we ought to sell
it at bargain"
And l thought so, too-after I had de-
cided that the lemonade might stay put,
after all.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

madam. how can you reconcile these i'll
constituencies"
But 1 don't have to reconcile en-,
sweetly replied the actress person. smil-
ing cheerfully upon the impressionable-
looking jury.
How can you ask for damages in this
case persisted the lawyer. when the
proving OF the fact that you really did
break your arm must necessarily make
a mockery of your mental science doc
trine:'
"Oh. that's easy" gayly responded the
actress. II can do that all right because
-ahem-I need the money! and she dis
played one of the cunnin'est pearliest sets
of teeth you ever saw in all your bawn
days.
The case isn't finished yet. but it's sild-
ed pieces of eight to passe fried cakes
that she's going To win i'll canter.
THE June bride business has been so
remarkably brisk over here this year
that now the merchants are talking OF
taking concerted action against the i'm :
mensely overworked scheme of returning
wedding presents and getting back the
money paid for them. The brides. o.
their husbands, you see, animated by a
spirit of frugality. do the returning anu
the coping of the purchase money. and
that's what the merchants are getting all
peeved up about. There are Il number
OF high-grade secondhand firms in New
York that openly proclaim the fact In
their advertisements that they give liberal
prices for duplicate wedding gifts. Not
only that but a certain secondhand man
of superior skill has been driving a -four
ishing trade among the newly weds in the
queer business of identifying wedding
presents" as he calls his stunt. This
chap has some sort OF a method whereby
he can tell at A glance, or at any rate
find out, at just what establishment any
wedding gilt submitted to his inspection
has been purchased. He is consequently
very useful TO those persons who eagerly
return wedding gifts-duplicates not
when they lind out where the gifts We're
purchased by the givcrs- The "identifer
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

Ing It out to him rather hard. They de-
ciined to permit him TO play with the
gang. They interfered with his desire to
go around barefooted. They had ideas
with respect to his going in swimming
when he wanted to. They were opposed
to his becoming a victim Of the cigarette
habit They insisted upon his keeping his
clothes tidy.
In fact, they outraged many, II not
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

IE man with a Flor
de Swampoodle sto-
gle was discussing
campaign takers.
Now that we're
on edge OF the CAM
paign." said he.
you'll be hearing a
lot of cracks from
the funnyists about
I h e spellbinders.
Everybody takes a
wallop at the SPELL
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

CONTINTING on hot weather topics
~ one Nigh: as we'll. f, there's little
inclination among local folks TO discuss
anything elsc-remin1 Is me of one charm
ing hot weather custom of the people of
Saskatoon. in the Canadian province OF
Saskatchewan. Those are real names
and can be found on the map, and the
people are real. too. They have to be to
stand that fierce. ong-nighted fifty-below-
Zero-and-s -goingdown cold of the hard
frozen winter months
But if the winters are cold 50 arc the
summers hot. and one particular after
noon-the mercury stood at about 1O6 in
the shade--I was invited to accompany
little picnic party from Saskatoon to
Smiths Bluff-a grove Of near-trees about
ten feet high-the only kind that grow at
at all up there. for luncheon. 1t was a
twelve-mile drive in a low ne cked wagon
without hood, but the Saskatoon people
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

HIS boy decided
that he would run
away from home.
He had a good
home and all like
that, but he didn't
care for the home
any more
Anyhow, he fig
ured il that his
folks - namely, his
father and his
mother-Were hand
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

:. Jobson tossed
down his newspa-
per and twiddled
his thumbs and
gazed sardonically
at the red volume
which Mrs.. JObSOn
was reading.
Stalking yourself
to some more Epir-
itual uplift by abb
sorbing a n o t h e +
mess Of your favor
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

makes ali TINS dellghtfuliy easy. Ii you
get a chafing dish. for example. for a
wedding gift, and you feel. after settling
down. so to speak. that you could use the
coin that the chatting dish cost to great
deal more advantage than you'd ever be
able to use the chatting dish itself. why.
then, Murgatroyd or Ysobel. all you have
to do Is 40 take the chatting dish to the
"identifer." leave it with him for day
or 50. and at the end OF that time he VIII
infallibly tell you just where the chahns
dish was purchased by the person who
gave it to you. along with pleasant hopes
for your future married bliss. Then. you
see. you take the chafing dish right to the
establishment where it was purchased.
and you put up n sad story to the erect
that the bridegroom or bride passed from
this life before the wedding or something
like that and then you get all or maybe
only nearly all OF the money that was
paid for the chaiing dish from the dealer
So now the merchants are getting to-
gcther to Nag all of this Kind OF stun.
Persons buying articles that are pal
pably intended for wedding gifts are To
he given with the purchase little metal
check properly stamped. The purchase
cannot be turned back to the establish
ment for the return OF the money unless
ii is accompanied by this little metal
disk. You see. you could hardly go to
the people who bought the chatting dish
for you and ask 'em for the little metal
disk to enable you to get the money on
the chaiing dish now. could YOU? Well.
them And there you are.
THE managers of several of the roof
/ gardens now opening have caused
themselves to be remembered in the orr
sons of fat men. These roof-garden
managers have had the business sense.
plus TIE consideration. 20 put specially
designed seats on their roofs for the Use
and comfort of fat folks. The special
designing" consists simply in making the
seats-which are well down toward the
stage-just twice as wide. as the ordinary
seats. Quite eduitably. double price is
charged for these fat folks seats. !
have said that these double seats are for
the use of fat wcmcn as well as fat
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

ms and portents
are that the breach
of-promise indus
try Is fiattening out
in New YORK. A
few days ago a
large, ornate, some
what over-decorat-
ed female person
came quite a sad
cropper. SO she did.
while endeavOring
to make a we'll
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

are famous providers. for man and beast.
and so / accepted. I noted with interest,
not unmiXed with experimentation the
drivers appeared careless-that a dozen or
so cases of beer were loaded OH the lunch
wagon.
We landed at Smiths Bluff right side up
with care, but as dry as q basket OF
chips from the black loan dust that vas
kicked up in the Journey across the
prairie. and the dozen or so OF us from
the states began to think of stems drip
ping with frost and containing short-col-
Jared portions Of trapped malt. But just
as we were in the midst of these pleas
ant dreams one Of the me mbers of our
party shuddered. groaned and pointed.
And. following his finger with our eyes,
we beheld several of our hosts Juggling
the beer from the wagon and carefully
placing 1t in the sum-.
"Why. oh. why. are you doing that?'' we
groaned in unison, even at the risk or
being uuguesty and rude. What. oh.
what does this desecration maan?"
Dissertation? What does It mean"
parroted one host in amazement. Why.
we're fixing the beer so II will be nice for
luncheon. We always drink ii sun warm.
Don't you?
Afterward we learned that those dear
people see so much Ice in the winter time
any for the summer time. and wouldn't
use II If they did. All Of which points
moral When visiting at Saskatoon, in
the province of Saskatchewan, carry
your own Ice.
THE nearest thing in the line of Wash
l ington brand Of heat that I've come
across in a long time was the tempera-
ture in the Coliseum at Chicago on the
big day Of the convention when Secre-
tor Tot fn1 for IL
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

WONDER If our
plausible friend,
the weather man,
who always seems
to have an answer
ready for any old
question that hap
pens to be asked,
could tell US what
makes the heat Of
such a holiness in
Washington. d. c.
Wouldn't 1t be IN
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27
|xx9@@ HEARD And SEEN At zeAPIIAL c. 60

again. ran races. wrestled and finally.
feeling as fit as fiddles. settled down,
right in the sun, hatless. too, to watch
base ball game-base ball, incidentally.
being mighty popular in Canada nova
days. And then as the train was about
to start the conductor laughingly re-
marked to one member of the party that
you couldn't do that back in the states
on as hot a day as this.
WI. it isn't very hot" somebody
the skeptic by the arm and led him to
where big standardized thermometer
hung in the shade ten or fifteen feet I'M
der the wide overhang of the station roof.
And the thermometer registered ia de-
grees.
So I guess 1t isn't a question of the
heat down here, but the quality of Il. All
of which is highly iluminat,ng but
doesn't solve the problem of how to keep
cool.
1 derinG down 10th street a bit after
noon. when a little voice piped up from
the half-shade of doorway, Mister
won't you buy glass of lemonade?" L
stopped. The lemonade looked fine: l was
as dry as a covered bridge. and the little
voice was very pleasing. So / drank n
glass and paid the advertised prices
cents.
Half n block further on another little
buy a glass of lemonade OF me. too?''
My dear child 1 asked reproachfully
of the very little girl beside the lemon
ade bucket. do you imagine l have moth
ing else to do but wander aim!essly
around the street tapping up lemonade
worth of Florida sponges? My interior
mechanism is already sufficiently acid
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

Special Correspondence Of The Star.
NEW YORK, June IS. 1905
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

ROPPING the hot weather subject Il
- bit, I'd like to wager a million do
The Washington herald., 1908-05-17
ANNOUNCE LARGE PURCHASE.
S. Kann. Sons s. Co. Explain Their
Splendid May Sale Tomorrow.

For the middle OF May. s. Ksnn, Sons
& Co. have many interesting offerings to
attract the women Of Washington. Chief
among them is the announcement Of a
large purchase of dresses, suits, and
wraps at half and In some cases less than
OF three-piece suits, silk jumper suits,
princess dresses, tailored cloth coats. and
coats.
Another item Of much Importance Is the
great sale Of Swiss and nainsook en-
brOideries at half price, S, 600 yards IN the
and this includes bandings, demi-aounc-
ings matched sets, and ail-overs.
The summer silk sale is also especially
interesting. with extraordinary values.
silk fabrics at the prices asked for many
cott0ns.
Black voiles and cream dress goods. as
we'll as colored goods. are at noteworthy
special prices for to-moTrows selling.
Fancy japanese silk in three pretty
self-colored designs. with every yard per-
feet. and offered ST much less than regu-
lar, draws the attention Of the reader to
wash goods tomorrow
Lace curtains are advertised at less than
half price in some instances as a result
Of cancellations OF orders by some New
York houses which threw the lots back
on the manufacturers. and which this
firm secured at unusually advantageous
price concessions.
White goods are In as good values as
ever, at special May prices, and notions
that ali the dressmakers and those who
have much sewing TO do in the near fu-
ture viii ind much need for tomorrow
are quoted particularly low.
On the fourth floor an interesting DEM
onstration of the new and popular game
Of 6iabolo Is being carried on. and the
demonstratoT, Mr. Knight Wallace. Of
New York, Is considered the most expert
player in America.
This little game is taking the city by
storm and everybody, big and little, IS
crazy to twirl the little spool
The Washington herald., 1908-05-17

steps have also been taken toward or
ganizing a branch Sunday school OF this
church in Mount Pleasant.
Rev. John 7 Huddle. the pastor, Is
well known in this city and throughout
the Lutheran Church as a preacher and
lecturer Of rare power. His diseourses
are always scholarly. illuminated. direct
and forceful He is q ViTginian by birth'
was educated at Roanoke College and the
Lutheran Theological Seminary at Get
tysbnrg. pa. and served for eight years
as associate pastor of Trinity Lutheran
Church. Philadelphia. On February O.
1904 he began his duties as pastor OF 81
Paul's Church.
OfsIeers of the Church.
The church council is composed as fol-
lows: A. F. Fox, president Charles II.
Ourand, secretary; J. Granville Meyers,
treasurer; George F. Muta, treasurer OF
benevolence; Harry T. Domer, financial
secretary: elders. George ". Linldns,
George f. Muth. William W. Stewart;
deacons. A. F. Fox. Charles H. ourand.
J. Granville Meyers. and Harry T. Do
mer
St. PauIs Sunday school is noted for
its activity and hberality. The other
Of the church are: Christian
Endeavor Society, Charles s. Myers, pres
idsnt: Junior Christian Endeavor Society,
Miss Agnes Suman, superintendent; La
dies Aid Society. Mrs. Samuel Domer
president; Woman's Home and Foreign
Missionary Society. Mrs. ]. T. Huddle,
president; Mems Club, DR.. w. ". Stew
art. president
The church also publishes a successful
monthly journal called The Uplook. The
editorial board is composed Of Rev. J. T,
Huddle. editor; Harry T. Domer, asso-
ciate editor; Harry L. Anderson, business
manager
Tie music Of st. Paul's has been a
prominent feature OF the services. The
quartet has attained high rank in musical
circles, 1t Is made up of Mrs, Helen Deyo.
soprano; Miss Flora Bernheimer. con-
tralto: ". Howard Butterworth, tenor; B.
Frank Meyers, bass. Mrs. ". Hamilton
Bayly is organist and Mr.. Meyers di-
rector.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-17
GOV. JOHNSON HOLDS A LEVEE
Minnesota Executive Visits Both
Houses of Congress.
Tayvney Does the HonOrs in the
Popular Branch and Johnston
Is Kingpin In Senate.

Gov Johnson. Of Minnesota. was a visi-
tor at the Capitol yesterday. The House
honored him by noisy demonstration. He
came to the floor in company with Rep
Tawney. OF Minnesota. who
presented him right and left to the men,
bers.
Next, Mr.. Tawney took the governor
to the Speakers desk and introduced him
TO Mr.. Cannon. The governor and the
Speaker shook hands warmly. smiling
the while. and applause rang through the
hall, in which both Democrats and Re
publicans joined. The incident was Wit
messed by Mrs. Johnson, who. with a
woman companion, was in the public gall
lery.
Before he left the hall Gov. Johnson met
nearly every member OF the House of
Representatives. and he made strong
impression generally.
Gov. Johnson's visit to the Senate
turned into a levee in the Democratic
oIoakroom. The governor inquired for
Senator Johnston, OF Alabama, as soon
as he arrived. Senator Johnston Is one
OF his vigorous supporters for the Presi-
Dental nomination.
When Messrs. Johnson and Johnston
got together they quickly disappeared
from the Senate chamber. Soon there
after Senatorial seats began 10 empty,
and in few minutes the governor had
received visits from Senators NcCreary,
Smith Of Maryland. Clay, Gary, Sim
mons, Overman. Bsnkhead, Bacon, Nc
Laurin, Daniel, Paynter, and Owen,
Democrats. and Senator's Burrows, New
lands. and Nixon. Republicans.
Groups Of the Senator's fingered until
the governor thought It was time for him
to 60