davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18
conduct of an unattached and foot-loose

conduct of an unattached and foot-loose
summer widower.
Say. there's nothing to 1t. It's a dream.
a joke. a screaming farce. The aver
age summer widower instead of being a
gay dog with wheels on his shoes and
blue flame playing around his larynx, is
the most mournful and God-forsaken
thing on top of the earth. After work
what does he do? He hops car and
trolleys home-but not to home. After
he's been living in 1t a week his fiat or
his house is so frowsy as to be almost
uninhabitable. But he can't think to tell
the woman his wife recommended. and
whose name and address he has forgot
ten, to come in and brush things up
bit. He falls into the bathtub, climbs
into a suit of pajamas and begins Ito
think over plan of campaign for the
evening. Shall he beat it for the beer
garden? Shall he hit the trail for the
underbrush? Shall he leap out into the
scenery and accumulate a bunlet? Shall
he call on motherin-law or take Cousin
Mary out for ride? Shall he?
And at enfffty-two and seven-eighths
this gay dog. this summer widower, this
unattached hill burner wakes up from a
Morris chair snOoze. yawns prodigiously
looks sheepishly at the clock. drinks a
glass of matted milk and tumbles into a
bed that hasn't been made for so long it
looks like haymow
And yet folks will talk, Amt it a
shame, Mabel? Amt it a shame?
0NE of those sizzling hot afternoons
the other day a very black. very
portly person from ole virginny or there
abouts. with red bandanna headgear and
arms full of parcels. ambled into a large
department store and halted at the ribbon
near the soda fountain.
The busy day neared the closing hour.
The breeze waited by many whirling fans
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

drifted back to town. BY comparison.
the work at the Denver convention must
have been mild. for not nearly so many
post convention wrecks have shown up as
was the case following the Windy city
wind-up. But I saw one accomplished
scribe on Newspaper Row the other day
who looked as II he might have had
hard time Of 1t.
He was Looping up the avenue with
set. intent expression and didn't stop
when 1 hailed him, just as he was about
to disappear through pair OF swinging
doors that screened q licensed and fan
swept Enclosure from the public gaze.
Cant STOP" he yelled back to me over
his shoulder. making significant motions
at the mixologist as ne breezed through
the doorway, cant possibly stop. Alti-
tude at Denver didn't agree with my
heart. Got to take a stimulant quick"
Isn't it a shame how those political re-
porters have to work. Why, sometimes
they don't recover from convention
strains for weeks and weeks
livery time i; gets too outra geously
- hot in this blessed town OF sweet ex-
tremes l give myself mental treatment
and think of the happy summer time
when l stopped al Glacier. {. +. station
in the Canadian Rockies which is nifty
spot and no mistake, and about as rest
full. too. as can possibly be imagined. A
man with nervous prostration has been
known to go there to die and in three
days be SO much improved that he could
sit on the business end of a tack without
appearing excessively annoyed.
The great Great Glacier is about mile
and half from Glacier House, the inevi-
table Canadian Pacific hotel, but amid it's
gigantic surroundings and in the filtered
and pasteurized air they have out there
it doesn't look third as far away as
that. Its slowly receding 'front.' with
crevices Of abysmal depth cutting across
its surface, is only few hundred feet
above the level of the railway. Good
trails have been made out to it, and It's
exploration is not difficult with guide.
But the guide is necessity. He takes
you in and he also tells you when to
come out For cold storage warehouse
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

those that lave themselves in the brine In
bathing suits.
Bathing folks are getting better grip
on themselves these days." he said.
We've had some of the quietest calls
this year from people in trouble In the
water that you'd believe possible.
Il had one only day before yesterday.
sduring the forenoon. while my watchmate
and l had the boat out at the roller line.
There was some sea 'going-not nasty or
boiling. but high and tumbling. the leav-
: ings of southeaster.
well. fellow came rocketing out Of
the surf-line crowd, taking the overland
stroke for it. and doing a good deal bet
1. ter. probably. than he knew. with the out
going tide. He was fine swimmer. big
emuscled and easy and free in the water
like most OF these good fresh-water SWIM
mers are-the kind that learn how in the
.pld creek when they're kids.
HE wasn't chesty. We can spot a
chesty at the first glance-the fellows, I
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

slight start and scowl that he recognized
his brother, who stood in the rear rank
with his eyes straight before him.
Whether. later. the brothers had any
secret meeting or understanding. did not
come out. But the ex-cadet and buck
private received no favors at the hands
of the first lieutenant of his troop, his
brother. 1t was observed. on the con-
trary, that he was treated with unusual
harshness on several occasions by that
officer, who. at best, was a martinez.
After his first few months OF soldering
as a private the canteen, which was then
an institution. began to exercise rather
too much Of a fascination for the ex-
cadet. and he eventually found himself in
the guardhouse, working out a ten-day
sentence as the result of a payday
drunk. This created additional bitterness
toward him on the part of his brother.
the lieutenant, who thenceforward treated
him with the greatest possible severity.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

car had backed into il. His business is
lettering. because he hasn't enough time
10 devote to it, and he has quit eating.
because it takes all he makes to keep his
car in fumes and tires. But he is as hap
Ply as clam, and every time he lifts the
bonnet of his one-piece train and dives
into its insides-where there is more ma
ehinery than in the west gun shop at the
Washington navy yard-one can tell by
the expression of his back that life is one
grand sweet song.
I believe I'd buy a motorcycle II I
thought l could do it without getting six
cylinder aspirations-for six-cylinder aspi-
rations. unfulfilled. will kill an enthusiast
as surely. if as slowly, as arsenic.
X
NEXT month Washington will reach
l y its annual low-water mark in the
way OF population. and twould be OF IN
terest if census could be taken at that
time, to show just what proportion of the
population of the national capital DUCKS
from under when what is generally sup
posed to be the hottest month or the
year in this neck of the woods -oiis
around | have heard. though I don't
remember just now whether twas on re-
liable authority or not-that larger pro-
portion of the population of Washington
leaves the city for more or less lengthy
periods in summer than Of any other city
in the whole country. The proposition
seems reasonable, and perhaps, when the
census bureau gets down to fine points,
a bulletin may tell us all about It, In
doubtedly it will make those Of US who,
since the enactment Of that dear railroad
rate law and the abolition of passes.
have never been further south than Alex
andria and further west than Cumper-
land feel a little better, anyhow.
A GOOD many Of the newspaper bunch
"A who have just wound up the Chi
cago and Denver convention sieges have
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

When the youngster came out of the
guardhouse the outfit was just about to
move against the Apache Kid. During
the difficult campaign of the ensuing hai1
year the ex-cadet conducted himself with
such. nerve and address and all-around
bravery that the captain of his troop
promoted him first to the corporaIs
cheyrops and then made him a sergeant.
When the regiment returned to the
Arizona garrison the first man the new
sergeant saw on the parade ground was
second lieutenant just out from West
Point, whom he had badly thrashed in a
prize fight at the Point a couple OF
wears before The second lieutenant saw
the sergeant at the same time, ana ne re-
paired Immediately to the commanding
officer's quarters to report what he knew
of the sergeants record.
The sergeant. knowing that he was
nailed, and consequently reckless. re-
paired to the canteen and began to drink.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

I have to do an GRAND at the dress
makers or run over to the store for
fried egg or a pint of milk. or perhaps
just want to take little spin for coolths
sake. I'm just going to hop into one or
those f1fty-seyen varieties. release the
muffier give the sparkling plug a yank.
turn on the gasolene, spin the engine
couple Of times, loosen up the automatic
honk- honk, yank a couple of brass levers
and let her rip.
Apparently 1t isn't possible to be modest
about this automobile business. You can
start small. but you wind up big. I had
a friend ohce who had more sense than
anybody. He had considerable money
saved UP and he decided to buy an auto
mobile. But none of those big cars for
him. Not for minute. What did he
want with one. anyhow. to run around
Washington. eating up gasoline and tires
and sundries" Never for minute. " nat
he needed and wanted was modest lit
tie one-cylinder runabout. just for busi-
ness purposes. with maybe a Few tri-
fling pleasure spins of evening, when 1t
was hot.
So he got the single cylinder-and used
it for all of a couple of months. during
that time he met a lot of other folks with
motor cars. and he began to talk In the
automobile vernacular in his sleep and
at other times. And then he bought
two-cylinder car.
This lasted more than half a year-that
is. he stood it that long-during which
time he met lots Of other folks with auto
mobiles and learned to discuss cams and
shaft drives, and separate castings and
anti-skids. and SO forth, so that the Or
binary citizen couldn't understand him.
Then he got four-cylinder car.
To make a long story short, this man,
who knew more than anybody. now owns
a six-cylinder. seven-passenger, touring
car. that weighs about three tons and is
nearly as long as the good ship Lustana.
His bank account looks as if a freight
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

to tell 'em revamped almanac stories OF
the post-colonial vintage" said he. and
coddle EN- and josh em along, and throw
mental backfips. headsprings and somer-
saults. and plead and expostulate with
'em. just to get 'em together and keep
'em together inside.
When We got 'em inside. If We didn't
want to lock the doors on 'em and have
run-ins with the fire regulations In con-
sequence, we had to reel off card tricks
that the Chaldeans knew. and sling 'em
messy extravaganza gags. and call atten-
ton 10 the bad haircut and the minated
eyes of the capper we employed for that
purpose and make chimpanzees of our
selves in general to keep EN- from edging
toward the door when they thought We
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

In the shuttle of recruiting and. post
changing it came about that the younger
brother was slated to go to the same
Arizona post at which the elder brother
was serving. When the private heard of
this he tried in all sorts of ways to make
some other cavalry post, but without in
fiuence he couldn't do this.
With large batch of recruits he was
sent to the Arizona post at which his
officer brother was stationed When the
gang of rockies lined up at the command
ing officers headquarters for assignment
to the various cavalry troops. the ex-
cadet suffered the additional humiliation
of hearing his fictitious name given out
for assignment to his brothers troop
The brothers. officer and man. did not
meet until reveille on the following morn
ing. Then the lieutenant indicated by
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18
and perfectly sedate

and perfectly sedate citizen now, and 3
man of large means. But when l was a
Young fellow down in the southwest Dan
Harper was known as the man who never
backed down in front of a gun, no matter
who held the shooting tool.
II happened to be in Tucson. Ariz.. when
Dan did one of the nerviest things OF
his life Dan had a brother living in
Tucson. a young fellow in his twenties.
Dan looked upon this brother as a good
deal OF a dude and didn't have much
commerce with him.
But one day. while Dan was in Las
Vegas. he got a letter from this kid
brother of his. saying that he'd been
abused in Fred Salter's faro bank in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

was like the breath from vesuvius' crater.
and the clerks, weary and warm. were
not in the pleasantest humor as belated
customers struggled in. The old colored
auntie purchased the bright ribbons that
best suited her fancy and started away,
when an afterthought seemed to strike
her.
'Hyar, honey" she exclaimed, handing
out some coppers to the astonished sales
lady. take dis yer fl cents and buy you
sef a sody. You-all done looks like YOU
needs 1t, yass indeedy you dose" and the
shiny ebony countenance fairly beamed
with benevolence and sympathy as she
quickly was lost in the crowd.
4 u
IT must be great to own buzz wagon. a
l sasoiene go-cart. petrol buggy.
whizz-gig, a red devil, ain short. an au-
tomobue. | have several friends who do.
and every now and then they come around
and take me out. when it's scandaiously
hot and little artificial breeze is com
forting. And we chase around the sub
urbs Of Washington, killing chickens.
soaring dogs to death and having a fine
cool. peaceful evening. oh. it's just
grand. 1t gives one the most comforta-
BILE. plutocratish. predatory, crminally
rich sensation, to loll back in the uphol-
stored tonneau of the real thing and
scoot around town watching pedestrians
perspire.
But 1 guess one must be without things
in order to appreciate them all the more
Some day when automobiles get down to
two and half Dozen with a 10 per
cent discount for cash, I'm going to buy
a gross, in assorted colors, on the INSTALL
ment plan, and go out in a different one
every day. I'm going to have limousines
and landaulets. artillery rumbles and
touring cars. sportabouts and roadsters.
victor;as and trucks, and all the other
styles that become popular between now
and then. And when that day comes and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

Suiting the action to the word. the SER
geant caught the lieutenant on the point
OF the jaw with a sudden swing Of his
right and put him down and thoroughly
out. Three minutes later he was i'm the
guardhouse dungeon.
The charges against him when he faced
the general court-martial were serious
enough to land him in a military prison
for long stretch-fraudulent enlist
ment, drunkenness on duty. striking his
superior officer. and so on Certain
mitigating circumstances were considered
by the court, however and he only got
two years at Alcatraz Island He was all
most Immediately pardoned by the Presi-
dent of the, United States
His wealthy father never forgave the
eldest son. the lieutenant, for his treat
ment of his enlisted brother, character
lied him as cad as long as he lived. and
when he died left him altogether out Of
his will.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

He emerged from the canteen to face his
brother. who had already been called to
the commanding officers quarters to re-
ceive a wigging for not having revealed
his relationship to the ex-cadet. and who
was pretty hot in consequence.
His appearance severed the younger
brother. who stood at attention and
saluted in due form.
You're a BLACKBOARD, SIR" was the way
the lieutenant greeted his brother.
THAT may we'll be-" was the sergeant
reply. But there's one thing 1 am sure
1 am not, and that's a cad; and that's
YOU
Are you sober enough, sir. to be aware
that you are addressing your superior Of
rage.
''Plenty sober enough" was the younger
brothers reply. And by that same token
/ am going to knock my superior officer
down."
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

or refriEerating plant is no, hing 10
the Great Glacier Given its facilities. I'll
wager that some OF the big hotels which
now are able 10 keep game and things a
year or so without killing the guest TO
whom they finally serve II. could make
II couple OF decades without violating
the pure-food law. Chilblains. pneumonia
and others OF that happy family Turk I'm
every corner OF the Great Glacier and I'm
ADDITION there is always the danger OF
getting lost in some of the immense ice
caverns. But oh. it's joyously cold,
This big chunk OF Ice is said 10 be
greater than all those OF Switzerland
combined. though we hear more OF the
Swiss natural ice department in a min
ute. through the medium of good adver-
Using. than We do of this Great Glacier
or bleciiiewaet in a month. Anyhow. II
covers 200 square miles just think of il!
Two hundred square miles OF solid lee
Isn't that great. grand thing TO dream
of just about now? Just think of il hard
enous hoo square miles: count them
a't'; and you'll go indoors and put on your
winter fiannels
DANNY folks along PENNSYLVANIA ave.
~ nue. already in the market WIFI
windows 10 sell for next inauguration day,
and there are a good many takers even
this early in the game. As almost every
one in Washington knows. there isn't a
window on Pennsylvania avenue. from
the Peace monument TO the Treasury De-
partment, that can't be sold for a mighty
good price for the great day Of days.
know one man who got so for one big
window on the avenue between 18th and
16tn streets last 4th of March, and who
cried like a child because he hadn't hac
sense enough to get options on some 9th
ers before It was too late. One ar-sightec
newspaper man rented four-windowed
ONCE fronting on Pennsylvania avenue
in January of 1904. paid three months
rent, leased his windows for the big day
and came out more than one hundred and
fifty dollars to the good
There are lots OF windows on the mar
ket now. Get in few options and turn
an honest, IL spectacular and speculative,
dollar. IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

STORY recently go
ing the rounds
about brothers ac-
cidentally meeting
in the enlisted
service of the
United States, land
and sea. uncovers
a stack of service
"reminiscences of
that SORT here in
Washington. There
are several In
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

MET an old New
Mexican friend OF
mine out att the
convention Dan
Harper, once a ia
nous and rather
dangerous character
of the Cochise
country" said a
man who attended
the democratic do
ings at Denver.
Dams an elderly
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

the sea all orange
spangled under the
low slanting rays
of the new sun, the
bronze-faced and
ebony-armed beach
guard. smoking a
two = inch wooden
pipe while he
calked a seam in
the lifeboat, was
nellowed out of his
habitual taciturnty
and falkoA ah0,ff
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

in the same military post or on
board the same ship, one wearing the
uniform of an officer and the other the
government straightsf of an enlisted man.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

HE auctioneer-hyp-
notist waved his
napkin airily and
touched a wax ta-
per to the cognac-
soaked lump OF
sugar nesting In
the spoon of his
deyIni-tasse.
Rich and rare
were the gems he
wore.
Eve used to have
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

HIS is the open
season for the
summer widower,
a n d t h e r e a r e
thousands u po n
thousands of them
right here in Wash
ington. And they
are gay dogs. every
one-as gay as a
boiler explosion or
a state funeral.
1t makes me good
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

Special Correspondence of The Star.
ATLANTIC CITY. July IL, 100
AnVv .
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-18

A GOOD many Of the newspaper bunch
"A who have just wound up the Chi
cago and Denver convention sieges have
The silver messenger., 1908-10-13

Officers OF the village OF chaIIis.
TRUSTEES.
Joseph Rodgers-Chairman.
Charles Waddleton-Treasurcr.
william Buster, I. j. Kerr, d. b. Drake.
Clerk--W ]. Lamme.
Marshal-Eenry Horton.
The silver messenger., 1908-10-13
STATE.

SUPREME COURT.
James F. Ailshie,
]. n. Sullivan,
George III. Stewart
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-06-22
> ; > ; J ; , ; :, ], } : :, : :, I
Lahaina Preparing
for the Battleships
y $50 ,s,s,s.s.s.sy


LAHAINA, June 20-Last Monday
evening the Lahaina executive cCm-
mittee for entertaining the fleet met
and appointed committees to provide
seats, refreshments, stationery, sports,
music, souvenirs, decorations, ilIumina-
ton, fireworks, fruits, a Iuau, etc. On
Thursday evening ten of these COM
mittees reported progress and prob
able expenses Judge Kepoikai was
present and gave a patriotic and en-
thusiastic address. The judge has CIV
en- three steers and other things for
the luau.
Mr.. McVeigh of Molokai, who is a
member of the executive committee,
has contributed one steer, 400 lbs. of
fish and 500 cocoanuts.
Mr.. Henning, who is chairman of
the executive committee has called
four meetings which have been Wen
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-06-22

BY AUTHORITY.

Sealed lenders will re received by
the President of the Board of Re
gents, College of Hawaii, at his office
in the Judd Building, TO be opened at
u o'clock noon, Monday, June 18th,
1908, for sale to the College of Hawaii
of certain books and periodicals.
Copies of the Schedules designating the
books and periodicals required may &c
had of the President.
Bids must specify the edition and
publishers name. No bid viii be re-
ceived unless the sane Is for all the
books required in accordance with
some one Schedule. Bids must be
figured in total sums for the books re-
quired by each Schedule.
The Board of Regents reserves the
right to reject any and all bids.
HENRY E. COOPER,
President, Board OF Regents.
S171
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-06-22
PUNAHOU REUNION.

The annual reunion of the Punahou
Alumni Association viii be held on the
afternoon of Friday, the Goth, at
o o'clock on the Punahou grounds, Just
makai of Pauahi hail. After the pre-
sentation of the reports of officers, re-
marks will be made by Mr. P. C. Jones,
Rev. Fl. w. Chamberlain and President
Griffiths, and a recitation will be given
by Miss Spalding of this years senior
class. Musical numbers will also be
contributed by the students and by the
alumni. Following the speeches atten-
ton will be paid to the fruit festival,
which has become a feature of these
meetings Mr.. G. P. Wilder, who has
charge of this part of the program, re
ports that the indications are that
there will be fine display of fruit.
All members of the association and
others interested in Punahou are cor
daily invited to attend.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-06-22

attended. There are so many con-
tributions of fruits and other things
that not more than $500 in cash will
be needed. The Japanese will take a
prominent part in the entertainment
Judge Kepoikai is in Lahaina hold
ing court.
The Lahaina public school closed on
Friday. There was a large attend
ance of visitors. Several were from
Wailuku The teachers of the Laha-
inaluna school were present. Mr.. Cat
ton Jr of Honolulu busted himself very
kindly in taking pictures of the pupils
and grounds.
Ernest Cockett, Miss Mary Gohier,
Miss Hose, Miss Apo. Miss Aiona and
Mrs. Kohler, will write at the teachers
examination next Tuesday and We'd
nesday at Waikiki.
Inspector Wells was in town on
Thursday.
On Friday at the closing of the La
hama school, George Palrs garden
was considered the best. The children
of the Lahaina school have purchased
piano. Nearly half of the money was
raised from the sale of their work dur
ing the year.