davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
VARIOUS VERSES
ON TIMELY TOPICS
REBELLION.

I've forced the issue at the home.
I've had my say and scrapped IL out;
I've crooked the servile knee too long,
My wife has ordered me about
And meekly I've obeyed her Will:
But now we've had an awful row.
And this is what ! told her straight.
Il won't pit cherries. anyhow"
I've moved the lawn and hooked her dress.
I've turned the Ice cream freezer. too;
And I'll wipe dishes now and then,
All things in reason Will l do.
I'll put the little ones to bed.
And that's not mans work. you'll allow;
But I've announced myself To her,
/ won't pit cherries anyhow
! will admit man should help
His wife by doing simple chores:
A man. | think should NOW the lawn.
And he should paint the kitchen floors;
A man should always do his best
To smooth the burrows from her brow,
But here the limit has been reached
l won't pit cherries. anyhow.
We had II out last night. when she
Commanded I should start to pit
Two bushels of the luscious fruit,
And thought that meekly I'd submit.
Get out ! said to her. like that,
ITO such commands will not how;
I'll sweep the cellar steps. hut. wife,
l won't pit cherries. anyhow.
What II | must be called brute.
Devoid OF feeling and a knave?
What IL must he told that
Look on a woman as n slave?
I'll have to stand il. | suppose,
For have made this solemn VOW,
I'll do most anything for her.
But won't pit cherries. anyhow.
Detroit Free Press
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

The Daughters Of the Revolution presented
to Commander Peary a peace flag. with the
request that he carry 1t with him to the
pole las shield and buckler against all dis
asters. New York dispatch.
oh whatever is this that's a comm this wayf'
Says the Big White Bear to the Wallerus;
Il see by the pape,
As blows In from the cape.
There's something quite dreadful to collar N.
I've spelled 1t all out as well as may.
An ii says it's a shield an buckellef.
Now I've seen many things.
Both with claws an with wings.
But to this, l confess, I'm a knuckeller."
Then the Wallerus gray to his library went,
A collection Of one Martin Frobisher,
An, with dubious looks.
He paved through the books
As for words he want In it, this blow-fsher.
He turned page after page in an offshus rage.
A-chasin' the shield an the buckeller,
Till he found 'em. by jing,
To be the same thing.
An from rage he Just turned to a chuckeller.
BLOW my binacle light Away with our fright!'
To the Bear says the jolly old Wal1erus.
There hain't nothin' TO fear
IT'S a metaphor queer
Them danes has give Peary to foller u.s.
indianapolis News.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
The MODERN Way.

The antiseptic baby and the prophylactic pup
Were playing in the garden when the bunny gam
boiled up;
They looked upon the creature with a loathing
undisgIised.
For he wasn't disinfected, and he wasn't sterii.
lied.
They said he was microbe and a hotbed Of
disease.
They steamed him in a vapor Of thousand odd
degrees.
They froze him In freezer that was cold a.
banished hope.
And washed him with permanganate and car
bOlated soap.
With sulphuretted hydrogen they bathed his
wggly ears.
They trimmed his frisky whiskers with a pair
Of hard bciled shears.
They donned their rubber mittens, then they
took him by the hand
And elected him member Of the FumiSatsd
Band.
Now there's not a micrococcus in the garden
where they play.
They bnthe in pure iodoform a dozen times q
day.
Each takes his daily rations from a hygienic cup,
The Baby, and the Bunny, and the Prophylactic
Pup.
New York World.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
Japanese
Finances.
COL. CUffEY.

From the Springfield Union.
Anyhow, Col. Guffey has the corso!a
ton of knowing that the Bryan steam
roller wasn't made in Pittsburg.
From the Providence Evening Tribune
Unfortunately. too. for Mr. Bryan, Col
James NJ Guffey seems to be in a posi-
ton to give names. dates and amounts.
From the Des Moines Capital.
Col J. NJ. Guffey should have initiated
Roger Q. Sullivan. He should have gotten
down on the ground and crawled.
From the Newark Star.
Col. Guffey has got so used to being
read out of the party that he'd miss the
omission Of the ceremony.
From the Omaha Bee
In an authorized autobiography Col.
Guffey boasts that he never held public
office and was never a candidate for off1ce.
Perhaps that is another reason why Mr..
Bryan does not like him.
From the Chicago Journal.
Will Mr.. Bryan get Col. Guffey to put
stained glass windows in the White House
If he is elected?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
The IRREPREsSlBLE.
From the Syracuse Post-Standard.

From the Syracuse Post-Standard.
Since Capt Hobson has an inside tip
about the coming war with Japan. 1t is
only right that Col. Bryan should invite
him to become Secretary of the Navy.
From the Buffalo Express.
Representative HObson's idea appears
to be that Col Bryan should make his
contest for the presidency this year on a
promise to go to war with Japan.
From the Chicago Record Herald.
Hobson is convinced that the japanese
are getting ready to take the Philippines
and Hawaii from US. but he seems to
think they will permit us to keep Pitts
burg and Coney Island.
From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
Richmond Pearson Hobson has got
down to dates on his war with Japan.
And "Hobson's war" may go into history
with "Hobsons choice"
From the New York Tribune.
Denvers altitude seems to be working
on Representative r. p. Hobson. He
saw things" in his session with the
democratic resolutions committee which
are certainly not visible to the naked eye
at less than "a mile W
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
The Prohibition Convention.

The prohibitionists will meet in national
convention at Columbus, Ohio, next We'd
nesday. and, presumably. put a presiden-
tial ticket in the field. Little If any spec
ulation has been printed about candidates,
or about the expectations Of temperance
leaders as to the probable size of this
years vote. Attention has been centered,
first on Chicago. and then on Denver.
There was bit of talk last spring that
both the republicans and the democrats
would be approached for a platform ex-
preston In some measure favorable to the
prohibition cause. but nothing on the
subject appears in the deliverance of
either party. The temperance people
therefore will make their own bid for
votes in their own way. and, as hereto
fore. conduct their own campaign
Will the temperance tide which has
risen so high in the past four years, par
ticularly in the south, show in the presi-
Dental contest? Or shall We see repub-
lican prohibitionsts and democratic pro-
hibitionists keep their temperance views
separate and apart from national poll
tics. and vote the straight party ticket in
November, the former for Taft and the
latter for Bryan?
IN Cne south only democracy IS Known.
Everything political goes under that label
All that prohibition has won down there
has been won under the auspices Of dem
ocratic organization. Moreover the ma
chinery of elections is all in democratic
hands, and in strictly political contests
operates in but one way. 1t is altogether
unlikely therefore that. either in Georgia,
Tennessee, Louisiana or North Carolina,
strong as the temperance sentiment Is in
all those states. any appeal that may be
made at Columbus will count at all in the
November result. The democracy will, as
usual. carry the day.
Elsewhere there may be changes, but
nowhere probably Of radical nature.
There is nothing to indicate any such
thing. Had there been rumblings of Sc
rious revolt, indicating that the friends Of
temperance had decided to put that cause
in the foreground this year, we should
have seen some action taken both at Chi
cago and Denver. Trained politicians are
shrewd readers of the times, and know
thunder when they hear 1t.
Still the Columbus convention will not
be without interest, or its candidates with
out a text Of Importance in our national
affairs. The temperance cause was prob
ably never so much discussed throughout
the country as now.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
TAKING WHAT YOU CAN GET.

want the best that can get,
The best Is none too good for me:
But. failing that. I'll never fret.
To something less I'll soon agree.
I think it's foolish as can be
The culls and seconds to despise;
II never takes me long to see
The wisdom Of compromise.
I'd like to be the President;
I'll take fat postmastership;
On seeing Europe I am bent:
I'm packing for n western trip.
Bond coupons l should like to clip
My own-for daily exercise.
But while I'll let no chances slip,
I'm willing quite to compromise.
I've often yearned for wealth and fame,
But IL a modest competence
l win. and a respected name,
I'll not complain: I've too much sense.
I'd like the earth all under fence,
But fate may will II otherwise;
I am not apt to get ii, hence
I'll gladly make a compromise.
Chicago New
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
Sherman.

Mr.. Sherman has wisely decided to re-
tire from the Craftsmanship of the repub-
lican congressional committee. The duties
of the post are arduous. and even If he
were not a candidate for the vice presi-
dency his health would advise against his
undertaking them. But both on account
of his health and his candidacy he is
taking the right course. His successor in
the congressional work will have his
hands full. There are a number of weak
places In the, republican congressional line
In the middle states and the northwest.
and skill and industry will be necessary
to strengthen them.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
An Ovation.
Three cheers!

Why hesitate to give
This small reward for which men live
Through toilsome days and studious
nights,
Foregoing frivolous delights
(At least biographers all say
That public men behave that way).
Shall we deny the mild reward,
Which anybody can afford?
Nay! Give him as he perseveres
Three cheers!
Three cheers!
And, should he care for more,
Be generous and give him four.
No obligations are implied,
Since cheers to votes were ne'er a guide.
They show a generous sentiment,
And, likewise. do not cost a cent.
Physicians all declare 1t wise
To give the voice some exercise.
So lift each voice when he appears
Three cheer!
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

If conventions continue to devote hours
to cheering man every time his name
Is mentioned. the future will find 1t more
and more difficult to devote a proper
amount of time to the consideration of
platforms.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

Apparently Mr.. WI has decided to drop
the interrogative method and venture a
few declarative sentences. He is careful,
however, to keep well away from interna-
tional topics devoting himself to such
subjects as vegetarianism and the faith
cure.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

Mr.. Bryan seems willing to foregO the
task of completing his own free silver
and government ownership enterprises in
order to take up Mr. Roosevet's unfin-
ished business.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
The EGO.

us that candidate remarkable for the
pluralities he has polled?"
mot SO remarkable for his pluralities
as for his first person singularities.''
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
In Control,

But" exclaimed the man OF delicate
sensibilities. will your conscience permit
you to do as you suggest?"
Look here, my friend answered the
New York politician. II am accustomed
to be boss, even of my own conscience"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

The unexpected manner in which Bryan
can produce the big stick when opposition
threatens Is liable to cause complaint
against him for carrying concealed
weapons.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

If the sheath skirt Is permitted to
come into ordinary use. 1t will be hard to
devise anything startling for the comic
opera chOruSeS
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

The Denver convention has been the
means of letting a number of Tammany
people realize what a large amount Of
this country there is outside of New York
city.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

Efforts of the Shah of Persia to estab-
lish himself as a political boss must be
deprecated as exceedingly crude and un-
workmanlike.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

with a budget Of $4,000, 600 yen Ca yen
being equivalent to 81 cents) every SUBJ
ject Of the mikado, man.
japanese woman and child, is re-
Finances sponsible for 1851 yen.
If we group the popula-
ton, as is generally done, II families, and
reckon an average Of five persons to the
family, the burden would amount to 63
yen; or. if we put it in more concrete
form. we NAV say that the wealth-creat-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

Explorer Peary's prospectus makes the
average summer resort advertisement
seem very insignificant.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
BY PH1LANDER JOHNSON.
An Overworked Phrase.

An Overworked Phrase.
"You say he is one of our most remark
able orators?''
YES"
For what is he remarkable"
For never having been heard to say
that he put his trust In the wisdom Of the
plain people"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

Mr.. Bryan possibly insisted on ten or
fifteen minutes extra cheering for Col.
Guffey's especial benefit.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

If the man who shoots at balloons is as
deficient in craftsmanship as he Is in
common decency, he will do but little
harm.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

Among those present continues to de-
fine Judge Alton B. Parker's status in the
democracy.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

de trouble bout a promisin young
man." said Uncle Eben, els dat he's liable
to git into politics an pass out mo- prom
ises dan he kin make good in lifetime
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

Count Boni's estimate Of himself as an
ideal father calls for a second thought.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
Grateful Affection

81 love my country passing WE'LL
The officeholder cried with glee;
Il ought to love 1t, truth to tell.
Since it has been so good to me!'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

Japanese competition has had its eff
1ect In producing diminished demand
for American cottons in
american Manchuria. A Japanese
Cottons syndicate has been at
work there with all the
advantages that cheap freights. use of
government money at 4 per cent and a
stable rate of exchange secured by the
use of Japanese currency could give ii.
According to native Japanese newspa-
per. the relative position of japanese
and American cottons in the Manchurian
market has been reversed and the product
OF Osaka mills has been for eight months
coming into southern Manchuria at the
rate of a million and a half yards a
month. Considering the productive capac-
ity Of Japan, this is fairly large trade.
but whether it represents a competition
which is likely to keep on growing be-
longs to the realm of conjecture"
The writer suggests that at the mo-
ment when China is boycotting Japanese
industries it is suspicious 20 adopt
Japan's policy in China and estab-
lish American syndicates in Manchuria
and China and take the ground left va
cant. The writer has always maintained
that the only way in which America may
safely compete for trade in China Is to
establish syndicates and banks in China
for the cheap exploitation of the vast
textile and mineral resources Of that
country.
The imperial Japanese government pro-
poses to hold great International expo
sition in Toxic from April l to October
81, 1912 The United States government
in accepting Japan's invitation to partici-
pate has appropriated $1,500.000. The
government should exercise extraordinary
caution mat our participation may mark
o,,I -,
dustry in the orient.
CHI. CHAILLE-LONG.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12
SHOOTING STARS.

Pride in being well-hated man is one
of Castro's leading characteristics.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-12

ing inhabitant pays over 20 per cent OF
his earnings to the state. Now, that
is not merely a heavy tax. but pernl-
cious one. Competent authorities In po-
litical economy affirm that when the tax
exceeds 10 per cent it becomes pos1lVeiy
harmful to the entire community
The Japanese say to their people who
demur at what they deem excessive taxa
ton: Look at occidental countries. the
white mans burden is greater than yours.
The French pay $3.50 yen. the Austrian
"a II. the British 32.1s the italian 2S.6.
the German 1865 the American 400.
whereas the Japanese give but 1851 ven
annually to the state"
Now this may console the extra-patri-
otto Japanese taxpayer. but II is not
strictly true In the first place. the aver
age income Of the japanese is very much
less than that Of the occidental. The av-
erage American income is 40 yen. the
British 500. the French $40. the German
247 the Austrian. 1877. the Italian 40. the
Japanese GO yen. The American pays to
government 80 per cent. the German 20.
the Briton 50, the French 1872. the Italian
2O3 the Austrian 2O.G. the Japanese 81.
In the above connection we may show
the price of labor per hour paid the labor
ers Of different nationalities: The Amer
lean. 1882 cents: the Briton. a0.3S: the
French. 1890; the German, 1894; the
| Japanese, g.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-12-24
SPORT AND !
SPARKLES /

STANFORD UNIVERSITY, Decem-
Der Coach George j. Presley today
accepted the position of head Rugby
and baseball coach for the period from
September 1, 1909, to May 1910. Presley
will be the only coach the Cardinal
athletes will have next year, as adj
visory Ooach flanagan has resigned.
Past history speaks for itself, and
with Presley in charge of the football
and baseball men the outlook for flu
ture athletic seasons are exceedingly
bright
Presley graduated from Stanford
with the class of 1907 in law. During
his college career he was prominent
in athletics.
He played wing forward on the
Stanford varsity in the first Rugby fif-
teen which played against California
in 1906 and was a member of the
Cardinal baseball teams of 1905 and
1906 ne was elected field coach in
the year of 1908, and head coach for
the present season, succeeding James
f. flanagan, who retired to the posi-
ton of advisory coach.
Presley has become very popular
with the Stanford student body dur
ing his career as an undergraduate
and coach and has won the respect
and esteem of all the athletes.
There will be a meeting of sea wren
purchasers Wednesday afternoon next
at 4:30 at the Commercial Club. Mr.
Bowen will give out his complete plan
for method of having the boats built.
Sam LangfOrd has a punch that isn't
the easiest thing in the world to des-
cribe. 1t isn't brand new assault at
that 1t is an eXaggeration of the
old "loop-the-loop" wallop. And any
one seeing Sam working the thing for
the first time quickly understands why
it was said that Sam might train bet
ter amid arbOreal surroundings
/ When Sam employs the loop he
looks for all the world like a huge ST.
milan hanging from one branch while
he grabs a cocoanut from another
Maybe the Langford attack should be
called the cocoanut punch, and ther
Sam could have it patented.
Here is the way of IT, Sam and hii
boxing partner come TO clinch, anC
while struggling to free his arms, ap
parently, sam twists his body under
meath until his face looks mp into th
face OF the other fellow Whether o
not he maintains the position through
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-12-24

SAN FRANCISCO, December 13.-
The sporting public is always interest
ed in the manner in which prominent
pugilists happen to butt into the roped
arena, and the appearance of Sam
Langford, the black wonder from Bos-
ton, on this Coast has aroused consider
able curiosity on the part of San Fran
cisco fans as to how the scientific
colored boxer ever adopted pugilism
as a means of livelihood. Like near
ly all of the men who have achieved
success in the ring, Langford's debut
as wieder Of the padded mitts was
in the nature of an accident. In fact,
the smiling smoke" was more of an
accident as a fighter than any OF his
predecessors who jumped into the front
| rank in the world of pugilism. Sammy
blew into the gymnasium of the LenoX
Athletic Club of Boston one night fiat
broke. In fact, the fighter who to-
, day is making thousands Of dollars by
/ indu ging in few weeks exercise and
| then facing an opponent in a ring to
| engage in a 1stic combat that cannot
/ last to exceed an hour and twenty min
utes didn't have a copper and was
having very empty feeling in the re-
! gion of his stomach. Joe Woodman,
| who is his present manager, was con-
Quoting the Lenox Club at the time,
and he staked him to a dinner and
gave him permission to use the gym
nasium as a bedroom. Sammy was
tickled to death with his new quarters
and rolled himself up in a blanket and
used the padded ring for a bed.
1t was only a short time after Lang
ford dropped in to avoid the cold and
wintry blasts of a New England winter
that Woodman pitted him against two
fighters in a single night. Each manag-
ed to stick three rounds with the ebon-
hued wonder who was wholly lacking
in science, but whose natural fighting
ability enabled him to wade in and
clean up his adversaries without much
trouble Seeing that Sammy had the
ear-marks of fighter, Woodman turn
ed him over to Jimmy Walsh, the
clever bantamweight champion, who
taught him the first tricks he ever
picked up in the art of boxing, Lang
ford proved to be an excellent pupil
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-12-24
: YOKOHAMA SPECIE BANK
LIMITED.

Capital paid Up).. Yer $4,000, 100000
Reserved Fund. ...... 5000, 100000
Special Reserved Fund 1000, 100000
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-12-24
TAFT WINS ENDORSEMENT

UT fILIPINU FREE TRADE.
WASHINGTON, December 11.-Free
trade with the Philippines was one of
the most important matters agreed
upon by President-elect Taft and the
Republican members of the Ways and
Means Committee at the conference on
tariff revision. While Mr.. Taft favors
free trade with the insular possessions
without any restrictions, it is under
stood that in order thet there shall be
no dissension he has agreed that the
amount of sugar and tobacco which
should be allowed free entry should be
restricted.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-12-24
HEer's
TkerrQ Electoral

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Accept no cheap and worthless sub
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Pectoral. 1t contains no narcotic or
poison of any kind.
Prepared BY Dr,I c. Aver Co., Lowell, Mass, t. S, T.