The Chickasha daily express. (Chickasha, Indian Territory [Okla.]) 1899-current, 1908-04-27

Onh0l Jdrl was rel3uVe OF Lh6
Durms. For a short period, in his ma.
tive Hamburg he had kept books for
wine dealer He had vacated his
position --slanderers, perhaps, averred
be was discharged, and had come to
America with the Durms. While
Onkel Carl made his living stevedor.
ing about the docks he was regarded
by his circle Of friends as an expert
in figures due to his having held the
responsible post Of accountant The
Durms gravely asserted that figures
could not reach such state Of com.
plexity as to be unsolvable by the vet
eran calculator.
Onkel Carl answered the invitation
OF the Durms promptly and set about
his task in matter of fact style. He
first ate an enormous supper and
then huge pitcher Of beer was placed
beside him and the mass Of data be-
fore him. He began adding subtract
ing, multiplying and dividing in a way
that rendered the Durms and Fred
erika mute with admiration.
These figures show he said. final
ly, when the beer had all been con-
sumed that this man his money
loses quick. He will soon bankrupt
be"
The Durms glanced at each other
exultingly
But" continued Onkel Carl, u
must see the figures for another day.
| come tomorrow night"
The next night Frederika again
stealthily slipped In with fresh papers
containing another days outgoings
and intakings Again Onkel Carl de-
youred an immense supper and again
the huge pitcher Of beer stood be-
side him. He calculated awhile and
then announced:
The figures tonight show this man
money makes
How was it that the figures should
so different be from last nightg"
growled Herr Durm.
"Sapristi." exclaimed Onkel Carl,
that was the mystery OF figures. Per
haps you Herr strumpif, the Hamburg
merchant, remember? One year the
figures in his books showed that na
was rich He owned a carriage and
his family went to the Baths. The
next year the same figures out Of the
same books showed that he bankrupt
was"
0nkel Carl drained the pitcher and
left the Durms depressed and disap-
pointed.
For ten days Onkel Carl came reg.
ularly supper devouring and beer i'm
bibing. One night his calculations
would point to the speedy ruin Of
Hoffman another to his prosperity.
Onkel Carl admitted the unsatlsfae.
tory result but hlnted that one would
be obliged to strike an average Of
many calculations before a definite
proof OF the profit or loss OF HON
mans business could be obtained.
Az Onkel Carls depredations at
supper and his Gargantuan thirst had
not been unnoted by the Durms and
they shuddered at the prospect Of a
long continuance OF such expensive
calculations. Another disturbing ele-
ment was the detection Of Frederika's
interest. she did not come each night
and on such nights Onkel Carl merely
ate and drank and did nothing che.
On the eleventh morning the Durms
had conference behind their bar
and the expression on their counter.
ances evidenced that they had decided
upon some important move. With the
night came Onkel Carl but he saw
no prospect OF supper nor did the
great pitcher filled with beer greet
his thirsty eyes. He stared and sat
down. Presently a light step was
heard and the kitchen door latch
clicked Frederika came IN. her frst
appearance for two nights. She shyly
handed a bunch OF papers to her aunt
Frau Durm took the papers and
without looking at them cast the
bunch into the stove.
This ioolishness stops she said
firmly. We give lunch from now
on. onkel Carl You can 20. Fred.
erika, you win notify Frau Holman. |
that you can no longer with her re.
main. You will come to cook for us
: But Frederika did not reply at once |
She held down a face suifused with
blushes and looked at the floor.
"Well?' said Frau Durm.
7 cannot come stammered Fred |
erika. Next week marry Fritz
"Donnerwetter" exclaimed Herr
Durn
Again the Practical Joke.
A volatile bartender Of Rochester.