davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
OFFICE PERSONALITIES,

The Blotter-Retentive; absorbs a
great deal
The Desk-Receptive, sympathetic;
likes to be leaned on.
The nk-Well-Extremely versatile;
can write e wrong or wrong write.
The Sarcastic and ma.
licious; very cutting and ever willing
to separate.
The aste-Pot--Persistent persever-
ing; possesses the faculty of sticking
to things.
The Pen-Enterprising, ambitious:
ever waits for an opportunity to make
its mark.
The asket-Intemperate, ag-
gressive; frequently gets full, and is
fond of scraps.
The Writing Paper Diminutive,
quiet; can easily be covered, and al
ways remains stationery.
The -Contemporaneous
but lazy; always up to date, but fire.
quently takes month off.
The Revolving -Retrogressive
but philanthropic; goes backward, but
is always ready to do good turn
Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Millions Wanted for Next Census

was first advocated in 1888 by Gen.
Francis A. Walker, superintendent of
the ninth and tenth censuses. The cen
sls to be taken in 1910 will be the first
since the establishment of this perma-
nent bureau.
The director, s. N. d. North, who
was an earnest advocate of perma-
nent office, says he believes the thir-
teenth census will disclose that there
was neither Misrepresentation nor ex-
travagance in the claims of those who
persuaded congress that there would
bean economy of expenditure, time and
service, in keeping always on hand a
skeleton organization for the decennial
rush.
The enumeration of 1910 will be
taken on April Is of that year. Here
tofore the enumeration has been taken
on June 1. Mr.. North says that more
accurate statistics will be collected
by the proposed change of date. This
change will have the effect, he thinks,
of showing great gains in the popula-
ton of the great cities like New York,
Boston and Philadelphia. He says that
the summer resorts begin to attract
many persons in May, and that If the
census is delayed until June l the
enumerators will find many vacant
houses when they make their rounds.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23

Z, ENATOR JACOB II. GALLINGER
y Of New Hampshire was born in
Canada, where his mother and father
we're born before him. This fact has
not prevented Mr.. Gallinger from in
Producing a bill in congress for the
erection of a statue to the memory OF
Gen. James Miller, the hero of Lun-
dy's Lane. In pretty nearly every
school history of the United States is
told the story of Gen. Miller's charge
on a battery and his capture thereof.
II memory serves, Miller at that time
was a captain, but the chances are
that most Americans remember Meth
err his title nor his first name, but
know him only as .'Ill Try, Sir" Mil
Ter. When Miller was asked II he
could charge and take the battery his
answer was 'I'll try. sir" and the an
swer has stood him as a front name
ever since.
II may be that some of Senator Gal
fingers immediate ancestry fought on
the British side against Scott and Mil
Ter and the rest at Lundy's Lane. but
hack of the immediate ancestors the
Senator had other ancestors who
fought on the American side in the
revolutionary war. He gets his Amer
icanism from an original pure font.
He hopes to have the statue OF Gen.
Miller erected at Peterboro, N. H.
1t may be that memory is faulty,
but IL 1t isn't. "Ill Try. Sir" Miller
was man of decided opinions, and
after the war of 1912 he had few
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
TRY BARLEY WATER
DECLARED TO BE INvETERATE
FOE OF WRINKLES.
Mixed with Tlncture Of Benzoln, the
Liquid Is Excellent for Cleaning
the Face New Skin Food
and Tissue Builder.

II Is easier to prevent wrinkles than
TO cure them. This Is not new and
original statement. but 1t bears repe-
tition because It's truth cannot be too
firmly impressed. While woman Is
still young and her skin Is fresh she
should try to keep 1t so. To do this.
select applications both cleansing and
healing. or the many lotions, etc,
recommended would suggest pearl
barley water as being most helpful
20 flesh that has begun to show lines,
says writer in the st. Louis Re-
public.
II is made by putting three ounces
of best pearl barley In pint of boil
ing water and simmering slowly until
the liquid has extracted the starch,
This Is easily told by the slight thick.
ness II will take on. The grain ia
then strained out and thrown away
and the liquid used as wash.
II II is found TO be gluey when cold
II must be thlnned with clear "a.
ter, In the proper consistency II Is
soft, but not sticky For half pint
of the liquid 10 drops of tincture OF
benzoin should be added when the
former Is cold.
One cannot do better than to use
this exclusively for cleaning the face.
1t feeds the tissues. does not dry the
skin as clear water may, and is not a
cosmetic. II should be applied by
moistening bit of thin muslin and
wiping over the face. There need be
no hesitation in using the liquid free
ly and letting 1t dry In.
What remains of the cleanser after
II has been left on the face for several
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
New Toque Is Trim.

The prettiest toque, under Ats new.
est and most becoming aspect. has
been seen poised upon the prettily-
dressed hair, just at the right angle.
and draped with folds OF dark emerald
green velvet, held in place in the CEN
ter of the front by an oblong buckle
in a mixture of dull gold and bright
steel
On either side, arranged 40 TINT
they spring naturally and smartly oHt
of the folds of velvet. there are lsr-e
Mercury wings in shades c. brci n.
green and cream color. These t'nts
are carefully chosen. so that they re-
peat the colors seen in the brown and
cream check cloth OF which the gown
is composed. while the green of the
velvet finds an echo in the velvet fac
ings upon the coat. Under this, by
the way, is a frilled jabot of real
lace, in that delightfully."- dainty fash.
ion which is so characteristic of the
seasons mode. toque Of this kind
would be very useful.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23

minutes should be removed with al
dry soft cloth.
The throat and neck should receive
the same treatment.
When wrinkles have made their APP
pearance and are due to illness or
nerve strains, something more In thej
nature of tonic as we'll as tissuel
builder is required To make such q
skin food combine 80 grains OF alum:
three-quarters of an ounce of almond,
milk and three ounces of rose water,
The alum Is put into the water and
dissolved before being mingled with
the milk.
The latter Is made by blanching al
monds (about IL will do and pound
ing them in n mortar with a pestle.
After being broken a few grains OF
graduated sugar are added, and then
a gill of rose water The last ingredi-
ent goes in drop by drop, the pound
ing continuing until the nuts are as
fine as they can be crushed The
mixture is then covered and stands
over night when II is strained and
ready for use. There Is no better skin
food and lotion than this milk, IL
used alone.
When combined with alum II Is
wiped over the face frequently through
the day and remains on at night.
Very heavy wrinkles follow great
loss of flesh In the face, and should be
treated promptly. or the skin will be-
come hopelessly sagged. Best for this
is cream made of four ounces OF
fresh mutton suet, one and one.quar-
ter ounce of glycerine. so grains OF
spirits OF camphor, eight grains OF
powdered alum, quarter OF dram
] of powdered Russian isinglass, and a
half an ounce OF rose water,
The suet should be melted and
strained, and equal TO the glycerin In
quantity. Should there be more or
suet reject the surplus.
Mix these, and put In the alum.
Warm tho rose water slightly and
melt the islnglass in Il, Combine
these with the first two while they are
still liquid, and then slowly stir In the
| tinctures.
Let tho mixture stand until II con-
goals. and then massage the face night
and morning
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Chanueable Weather.

Maine Man (finishing story
Yes, sir. l killed that bear with
nothin' but this little jack-knife.
Guess you never he'd tussle with a
bear, did We?
New York Liar-oh, yes. i was
out fishing one day on Staten island
when a big bear made a rush for me
and knocked the pole from my hand,
leaving me without even that means
of defense. Well, sir, l grabbed that
bear, threw him down, and held him
there until he froze to death.
Maine Man (gasping)-I might "a
done that many a time myself, but
the weather up our way don't change
SO quick as it does here.-New York
Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
VOGUE OF WIDE COLLAR.
Ornament Gives Touch Of Elegance to
Any Costume.

The making OF a wide silk collar, all
hand embroidered. should be one OF
the occupations Of the woman who Is
handy with the needle. The collar
should be cut very wide and should
Se shaped SO that its ends extend down
the front to the waist line. This wide.
elegant collar of silk. all hand en-
broidered can be adjusted to any coat
or cloak, and If well made, 1t gives
certain touch Of elegance to any gar
ment to which it is applied. In the
trousseau OF winter bride there are
three of these handsome wide-silk
collars of different colors and shapes,
which the bride will adjust to her
various cloaks. waists. dolmans and
capes.
The black.catin collar and cuff must
be mentioned as conspicuous feature
of winter styles. The satin must be OF
the most lustrous blue black and the
shape must be irreproachable. In Lon
don there is nothing smarter than the
well adjusted black-satin roll collar
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Eow oI5 Ans VOID

w ASHINGTON.-The next census OF
w the United States will be taken
on April Is. 1910, and it will cost $14,-
100000. Plans are now being made
for It.
The Constitution of the United
States requires an enumeration once
in ten years as basis for the appor-
tionment of representatives in con-
gress. The modern American census,
which collects statistics relating to
every important feature of national
development. is the outgrowth of that
requirement. Beginning with six sim
pie questions relating to population,
the amount and scope of the informa-
ton secured were steadily increased
until it became too extensive to be
tabulated by hand.
Nearly five years ago congress au-
thorized the establishment of a per-
manent census Office in Washington.
The establishment of such an office
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23

MRS. LETETIA TYLER SEMPLE,
lvl daughter of President John Ty-
der, died few days ago at the Louise
home in this city. The Louise home
is large brick building standing in
fairly spacious grounds at Massachuy
sets avenue and Fifteenth street. 1t
was founded and endowed by w. w.
Corcoran as home for southern gen.
tlewomen who had become impover-
ishel. | have lived within block Of
the Louise home for four winters. |
pass the place three or four times a
day, and the only time that ! have
ever seen any signs of life about the
home was the day that death paid it's
visit.
The home is filled with occupants,
and there is long waiting list. and
yet in four winters time / never have
seen one of the old ladies looking out
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23

n NE would think United States SEN
~ ators drank ink and bathed in
mucilage, and that they were mighty
curious critters" to judge by the
microscopic explanation of senate ex-
penses which has just been issued.
Some rattle-brained reformers are Sc
riously advocating abolishing this au,
gust body. If it were wiped out of ex-
istence it would save the tax payers
just exactly $1,640,354.60 every year,
for that is what it cost to keep the
sagacious lawmakers during the last
fiscal period.
Even the layman can understand
why thousands of dollars should be
paid for kilograms sent by senators
to each other, or to friends, or to men,
bers of the cabinet, for even United
States senator must have his lines of
communication in good working order,
but apparently it would tax the in
genuity of fortune teller to explain
what these distinguished statesmen
could possibly do in the course of IL
short months with three dozen packs
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Some Hat Lore.

With the ancient Greeks the hat
was simply an appurtenance OF the
traveller. The free citizen preferred
to go bareheaded and only put on his
broad-brimmed petasus for protection
against the sun when on long jour
ney. Indeed. the uncovered head
was part of his dignity. for the slaves
and workmen wore always kind of
pointed skull cap, the PLUS. which
therefore stood for a badge of servi
tude. Much the same sccrn of
rabitually covering the head prevailed
among the Romans. In England the
hood was not finally given up until
the early part OF tie fifteenth cen.
tury.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Lace Mltts.

Long mitts of exquisite lace are Ia.
king the place of evening gloves. The
finest duchesse and honiton point are
responsible for these cobwebby accss-
series and the prices asked are upon
an equality with their beauty.
Another novelty Is pair OF elbow
length black glace kid gloves inset
with medallions Of fine point lace.
That they are extremely striking goes
without saying and only women quito
sure OF being sartorial succCNs
should attempt them.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23

embroidery Is carried up tie centor
box-plait and round the throat. fne
tight-fltting under-sleeve is nude from
two rows of embroidery connected ty
straps of zephyr. Materials required:
Three yards % inches wide, threo-
eighths yard piece embroidery, two
yards insertion.
The second sketch shows a dressy
blouse In taffetas and lace. The deep
yoke is of the lace; to this the taffetas
is gathered. revers Of lace forming a
trimming. The pulled sleeves are
gathered into bands OF insertion
Two straps Of ribbon velvet are car
ried up front. and terminate in bows.
Materials required: Three and one-half
yards % inches wire, one-half yard
piece lace, one-half yard insertion.
lace revers. one-half yard velvet.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
SCENE AT A BOX OFFICE.

A line OF so or more persons
stood in front of the box Office at a
theater one day this week, when a
stout, redfaced. important-looking man
came up, opening his pocketbook as
he came. extracting $40 bill and
eying the long line of prospective buy
ers superciliously.
get in line, you'll" shouted dozen
voices.
That's what / was going to do. You
blamed chumps." he answered, scowl-
ingly taking his place at the fooS.-
Chicago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
GOOD Jokes
Home Life.

Mr.. Widdle-Well, my dear, you've
made so much fuss because j don't
spend my evenings at home, like a
good husband and father, that | have
resigned from the club. Does that
suit you?
Mrs. Widdle-It's just splendid!
Now. hurry through dinner and get
dressed, so we can go to Mrs. High
ups bail; and tomorrow night Wen
go to Mrs. Tiptop's party; and the
next night, you know, Mrs. Wayup
has musicale, and we mustn't forget
the Globetrotters reception the night
after.-New York Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
AhniIf Cnllara

Amid all the lovely collars Of lace,
ribbon and tinsel there looms up a
new style which is most attractive.
The collars are linen Affairs worked
with groups of miniature dots, placed
in squares OF four dots, 16. or In tri.
angle or cross effects. With the col
lars will be found the linen tie to
match. II is either single or double
bow, the edges buttonhole stitched
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Troubles Of a Historian.

Froissart was arranging for the publ
cation of his Chronicles"
i've got to have them printed in
book FORM" he said. The newspapers
don't seem to know whether to put
them in the sporting column or to run
them as society news"
BY such narrow margins as this do
men sometimes get into the ranks Of
the rtals.--Chicago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Born for a Brakeman.

Railway Superintendent regret
that you are incapacitated for further
service; but accidents will happen,
you know Do you know of a good
man for your place?
Railroad brakeman (who has only
his thumbs left)-Yes, sir, know one
who would last good deal longer
than / did. You'll find him over at
the dime museum. He has 16 fingers.
New York Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Asks Statue to Hero of Lundy Lane

rows with the authorities which made
the Washington officials angry with
the hero.
Recollection also has 1t that he went
to Peterboro in a sulky mood and
lived there for long time before he
came out of 1t. His service to his
country at Lundy's Lane. however.
makes him more deserving Of monu-
ment that are many other heroes and
some near-heroes who have been hon.
Nored in stone at the expense Of the
United States.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23

THINGS THAT WENT WRONG.
A SINGULAR COUPLE.

A SINGULAR COUPLE.
When Miss Abigail Scranton be-
came engaged to young Hiram Thorn.
bush everybody declared 1t would be
an ideal match.
There was not the slightest objec-
ton on the part of the Scrantons or,
the Thornbushes In fact the mothers
of both the young persons encouraged
them openly in their courtship.
Yet Miss Abigail married him.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23

with the same material as the dots.
and also finished with small dots.
These collars are dotted with red.
brown, white, yellow; in fact, every
color imaginable Many OF the lit
tie bows are shaped like pretty leaves,
while others are prim with only the
bow ends notched and whipped with
thSead, but always the collar and bow
will he seen TO match.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
The Old "Birch."

Church, see it is said that Juniper
is said to be the most durable Of
woods.
Gotham-And yet, SO far as my
recollection goes-and 1t stretches
away back to little red country
schoolhouse-the birch is the first
wood l came in contact with, be.
lieve.-Yonkers Statesman.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Understood Both.

Indulgent Father-My son, your ed
ucation has cost me $4,000. / have
spent all have and you must now go
right to work and earn a living at
something you understand.
Finished Son-Well, father, which
would you rather have me be, a Ease
ball pitcher or billiard MARKER
New York Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
rh. Amanda HonorabIe.

Reporter (mistaking the English In
terpreter of the English embassy for
Jap)-You speak remarkably good
English for Japanese.
Englishman Indignantly - Sir! l
am no Jap. am an Englishman born
and bred.
Reporter (abashed)-Um-er-yes,
know. l meant to say you speak
remarkably good English for an Eng
lishman.--New York Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Mo Great Loss.

He had just been introduced to the
widow of man who had married for
money.
What kind of man was the late
lamented?" he asked
WELL" was the suggestive reply.
che was just an ense."-Chicago
Daily News.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
promotIv Furnishing an Example.

Miss Hope-What fools some young
men make of themselves when they
are in love!
Mr.. Spoonamore-They do, indeed.
Dora, will you marry me?-Chicago
Tribune
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
His Little Joke.

THE run on the bank is over,
isn't it?"
20, yes; it petered out as SOON as
the crowd saw there was more money
coming in than was going out"
You knew it to be perfectly sol
vent bank, didn't you?"
"Of course"
"Then why did you join in the run
on it?'
20, just for fun. Chicago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Off.

Caller-Poets, | suppose. have their
off days. the same as other people.
Wrymer with visible irritation)--
They do, sir. This is one Of mine. !
am trying to do poem in Rue ian dia-
lect.--Chicago Tribune.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23

Brown--Well, you've got the quar-
ter; is your sister coming down?
I've arranged 1t beautifully, old
chap. l told her 1t was you, first, and
she said to tell you she was out, and
then l said / was fooling, and that it
was Charley Jones, and you ought to
have seen her hustle to get into a
clean shirtwaist! She'll be right
down!"-Chicago Journal.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Wanted to Give Demonstrations.

do you know what should be done
with liquor?" asked the total absti-
nence judge to the hard-looking man
at the bar.
mo, judge, can't exactly explain
it here" replied the hobo; but if
you've got a dime and will come out
side with me, think can show you!"
-Yonkers Statesman.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
Am Attack Of Modesty.

Great Editor think it would be a
good idea to print our circulation ct
the head of our editorial page.
What's the population of fhis coun-
try?
Business Manager-.Abou: 10000
900.
Great Editor-Well, we'll not claim
circulation over 60,000.000. No use
being hoggish. York Weekly.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
pREssY STYLES IN eLousEs.
One OF Pale Pink Zephyr Particularly
Suitable for Morning Wear.

The first blouse is a style suitable
for morning wear; II is In pale pink
zephyr, with American yoke of white
cambria embroidery. The lawn is
gagged below the yoke and a strip of
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
The Usual Way.

What were his grounds for di.
vorce?"
From the testimony, my dear.
should say they were very raEidy."--
Detroit Free Press.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
His Guess.

Mrs. Crimsonbeak-I see ton of oil
has been obtained from the tongue of
a single whale.
Mr.. Crimsonbeak-Tllll bet it was a
gentleman whale. / never knew a fe-
males tongue to need oil.-Yonkers
Statesman
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23

and the wide black-satin cuffs. They
are worn upon fur coats, upon coats OF
cloth and upon the pretty heavy tweed
dresses of the season.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
equality of the Sexes.

New Jersey. which recently sent q
woman highwayman TO Jail. has now
indicted man as a common scoid."
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23
And Then He Does.

Many man. when being married,
has said Il wilt" instead OF Il will
Judge.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23

The Youth-Do you use anything for
your hair?
I; The Ancient-No; l just let 1t grow
out.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-01-23

Here is a smart.looking suit in anne
thyst cloth. cut with FIVE gored skirt
and plain three-quarter coat, without
decoration, save large buttons In
double row down front. The accom-
panying hat is In the same shade OF
velvet adorned with huge bunch Of
coque plumes in violet shadings.