Burlington weekly free press. [volume] (Burlington, Vt.) 1866-1928, 1908-07-16
AMERICA BANC-UP CERE-
MONY.
The "Jnpane~e school Boy" Makes OBJ
scrvntlOn.
(From Golfers Weekly. J

(From Golfers Weekly.)
am a familiar case. Therefore per-
NIT me to ask one humor reproach about
something very mixed which are going 10
happen to these United States. July
are II. This ceremony have occur 50
cftenly to America that persons should
be used to 1t. Persons is mostly able to
get used to whatever happen In eventual
time. Japan have gradual became in
nocule to hon. beriberi which are fine
disease. II you must have one. Hawaii
islands also feels ditto about lepordsy
which are regarded pretty custom
among natives who got It, China are
used to opium smoke, England are used
to Parliament Then why-so these
America never get used to July 4? l ask
to know,
Answer is this She never will, She
think maC'be-so she might. when some
thing discourage occur. BY July morn
ing she take some nervous medicine to
soothe it. She feels strongly better joy
full pops In distance. "Ha," she say for
blum, Il am vaccinated with gunpowder."
Louder and more smashy become fusilenr
of bang-bang musick until some frax-
ures bust to window Then silence.
,
"In another minutes should do a
scream" OF suddenly large curl Of
smok are saw. then roof-afire followed
by chicken-yard blazes. Local hook
corps come with hose in time to rake to
gether ashes of sweet home fireshade.
Then Hon. America forget calm resolve
& enjoy some hysterick
| Sydney Katsu, Jr., makes n humorstick
remark when tell him this parabul
about Hon. America. He say, "Hon.
America can't no more get used to July
than she can get used to Hon Roose-
welt hope you will convulse yourself
with this Joke. because 1t sound very
delicious in Japanese.
| / enquire OF some frequent Americans
| why-so Il are necessary to blow up
America once annually to make them
patriotick l am replied by snickkers
from many. Yet others indulge me with
| following answer: I'VE must make con-
siderable Jar in order to remind us Of
American Flag" So fooly excuse! Do
Hon. Japan have to blow hresef up once
annually In order to remind her OF that
dear sun banner? Answer Is, No. When
| Hon. Japan wish to remind herself OF
japanese Flag she go blow up Hon. Rus
STA, which will do pretty well
BY last July while roming up San
Francisco for silent refeXion on patriot
| ism. etc. / am shook around by Port
Arthur explosions from all direction. I,
were as II Hon. Inferno had got away &
was scratching himself with thunder
| bolts. Please imagine it, Popcorn sounds
| from small firework was aggrieved by
| occasional intense jar OF mammal tor
| pedo At corner Of St. | seen one intelli
gent American laddish boy aged a
blowing on dynamite fuse to make hel
go up.
Before finishing yourself" | snugges
with kind face, please told me why yol
wish to make such an explode
Because of Revolutional War" surro
gate them tiny child,
do hrecrack blow-up give you some
intelligent instruction about Revolutiona
War history" ! request for answer
"Of sure II do, declaim them kidly
youth procuring flames from match box
III you can bang yourself wise"
daily, "please name generals wha
taught with Hon. Washington at Vale!
FORCES"
Name them yourself say them child
cant you be able to see how busy
are?"
| And when he thusly say-it all ther
hrework burst up & he are blowed L
ambulance. | was sorry to seen sue
sweet child rumpled of him say fol
lowing for fearful eve.
Dear sir. ! explain II that your chill
are considerably bursted"
Boys will be boys" say Hon Parent
for Christian Science expression.
"Boys will be angels when not care
full" relapse with Red Cross eyewink.