The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-07

copyrighted, 1908. by Associated Liter
airy Press.1
HUAOR or TIE DAY
Should man go to college after
SOP" We'll, he might pass muster at
tennis" answered the expert. But a
man can't expect to do much in base
ball or football at that age."-Louis-
vile Courier-Journal.
Blobbs-What is the average cost Of
maintaining an automobile? Slobbs-
There isn't any average. 1t all depends
upon how well you stand with the
judges who name the fnes.-Philadel-
phia Record.
Vicar-I'm glad to see. Mrs. Triples,
that your husband is keeping steady.
He seems quite to have turned over a
new leaf. Mrs. THAT e ave, sir
Els took a bitter oath never to touch
a drop o. drink again-not in this
world!-Punch.
European Bandit Chief latter the
coach robbery)-Curses on these per-
sonally conducted touristsI The fourth
lot of Americans this month, and again
our loot is but souvenir postcards.
souvenir spoons, guide-books, stones.
pressed leaves and pieces of laval
Puck.
Son-If she accepts me, of course,
you'll have to make my allowance
three times what it is now. Pater-
See here, as I'm paying for this. why
not let her come into the entire fortune
at once by marrying me? She's Just
the sort of girl I'd choose to superin-
tend your bringing up.-Life.
Brown-American girls who marry
titled foreigners deserve no credit.
Jones-Nor do they ask it. They pay
cash!-Chicago News.
Wellington waggles-Dey say dat
money talks. Henry Hobo-But what's
de use when it's at de other end of de
phone ?-Scranton Tribune.
Scientists say that the earth is tilt
ing" II wouldn't wonder. Crops are
mighty heavy in this section."-Louis-
vile Courier-Journal
What did you mean by this poem p"
| Inquired delegation of admirers. II
didn't mean anything" answered the
great poet frankly. II wrote that poem
for a monthly magazine. 1 did not ex-
pect it to be published In a book col
MISUNDERSTANDING Courier-Journal.
Il suppose your daughter is SUI
| premely delighted at gaining the prize
| Of her class?' "Oh, yes, indeed, Maria
| is in a perfectly hydrostatic state of
mind about over it."-Baltimore Amer
lean.
| Mr.. Saphedde-I like to be different
| from other people. Miss Caustique-
That is considerable of you. 1 dare say
the other people appreciate your
4 ~ 49, ,.T-
| DO you take any periodicals." asked
the clergyman on his first round of
| parish visits. well, / don't" replied
the woman; but my husband takes
| 'em frequent. I do wish you'd try 70
get him to sign the pledge Judge
| Gentleman Ito cigar dealer)-Have
you any So-and-so brand in stock
How are they? Dealer-First class, sir
| This last lot is an extremely fine one.
Gentleman observation-disclosures; you
am glad to find you were mistaken.
am the manufacturer. Good day.
Philadelphia Inquirer.
| Stranger in the Port-Who discover
ed the country around here? Was IL
the English or the Dutch? One of the
Many Captains-Why, / can't tell fur
sartin, but seems t. me twuz discovered
by Teller who writes fur the maya
zines.-Puck.
The late Bishop Coleman. of Della
ware, was somewhat deaf. Once while
attending banquet he was assigned
| to a young lady who did not know OF
| his affiiction. In consequence CONVEX
| sation was found to be somewhat diff
| ficult In a burst of enthusiasm the
young lady inquired: Bishop do you
! N = Rv-=4 ~ 0l1%o al
not reply, but upon the question being
repeated he admitted conf1dentially, II
must say 1 still prefer the old-fash-
toned night gowns. "-Lippincott's Mag
! azine.
| Patience-Is that dentists methods
painless? Patrice-Not all of them He
| has photograph in his Office
| Yonkers Statesman.
| my mission in life" said the satirist.
lis to put the dunce-cap on the heads
of other people" BE careful" replied
| his friend, that you don't catch cold ~
Philadelphia Inquirer.
After all. it pays TO be honest" Yes.
| be certain whom 1t pays."-Nashville
American.
an mas pc fs WIN IN
that mans children actually ask him for
| advice. '-Washington Herald.
my wife is a paragon your enthusi-
| asm is laudable." And my enthusiasm,
| sir. Is just. My wife never talks to me
| about the fine man she might have mar
ried.' '-Pittsburg Post.
Fred-My dear Dora. let this thought
| console you for your lovers death. Re-
member that other and better men than
he have gone the same way. Bereaved
| One-They haven't all gone, have they
| London Tit-Bits.
Scribbler-Do you like my books? Fun
mir L M q rriR,