The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1908-05-01

1 eApldlndDIe.
Essemere is such frightfully ak.
elusive suburb that each new arrival
runs regular red Indian gantlet be-
fore he is either admitted as a real
"belonger" or dropped.
The first evening | met DR.. Bill
conner was impressed with his broad
"a's"-one simply can't fail to be
bit respectful when new man says
''cahn't" instead of cant" aad does
il as if he was in the habit of saying
it always before breakfast instead OF
| just saying it for evening-and 1t did
not take more than ten minutes before
he had very skillfully dragged in the
fset that he was born and bred In
Worcester. Mass, and that to him all
the rest of the earth was composed of
waste places.
Just as if | were hypnotized | found
myself murmuring that | could quite
understand his feelings because my
mother came from Boston. | stopped
before | added that she was three
years old when she left that sublimat-
ed city.
OF course that remark led on to the
subject of families. 1t seemed that
he had relative who was in the ia
nous tea party. | responded promptly
with the story of my ancestor who
killed a hundred men, more or less,
with one glance of his eye in the revo.
/ luton | couldn't recall that | had
dragged out that greatgrandparent
before in years, but | did it breath
lessly for DR.. Billcomer's benefit. 1t
was awful.
The evening that | managed to
mention the chancellor and then at his
murmur TO stop with a little lift of
my eyebrows to say that of course he
wouldn't know-it was stupid Of me-
but that my fathers uncle had been
the lord high chancellor Of that coun-
try at the time Of which we were
speaking, l felt more SET up than the
time [ won the cup a golf.
Afterward ! sputtered TO Griffith, my
older brother. because ! had to get rid
! of my mental tumut somehow.
DR.. Billcomer would be all right"
told Griff, IF he wasn't such fright
iul snob, What is worse, he makes
! me be a snob, too. With other men
! can carry On a sustained conyersa-
ton on intellig5.t TOPICS, but when be
and / talk all we 90 is try to cap each
! others Boosting,
Griff confessed chat he felt the
same way and, what was more, all
the other fellows did, too. In the pres.
! ence Of Dr.. Billcomer they lost their
frads and tried TO live up to him.
! Then behind his back they muttered
| defiantly that he was a lobster and
| privately suffered under the conviction
that they themselves were becoming
| Holsters also.
There was, discovered at last. a
perfect epidemic of boasting in Esse-
mere. We all grew more languid in
our speech and resuTrected all our good
points in pedigree and accomplish
ments. Above the tumult DR.. Bill
comer's little song still rose tri-
umphant, calling us on to still greater
| heights of snobbery, ana we followed.
Each tine | was in his society | hated
myself worse-and otherwise he would
have been so nice!
Some weeks after DR.. Billcomer be
gan to have this dreadful effect on
Esscmere Griff came to me one day
with the light of great discovery in
! his eyes. He looked happy.
What do you think?" he said.
"Billcomer is all right! What we've
suffered is nothing to him! We've
got rather chummy lately and he
confided tonight that never in his
| life had he struck such a snobbish
place as Essemere. Fight against it
as he would he said, he had TO go
the pace himself to keep his head
above water. He said he had worn
| himself out with Boosting in order to
| prove that he was on a par with the
| supercilious residents-and he was
| dead tired of it and sick and ashamed
| of himself"
| held my head down weakly while
the light broke over me also. Then
| he hadn't meant in the least to have
| that effect on me-or any one else!
| He wasn't that way really at all!
| was in such hurry to start in all
| over again and get acquainted with
| Dr.. Dillcomer normally that when
| Griff added that he'd asked the doctor
| up to dinner realized afresh how use
full really intelligent brother can be
| in the scheme of things.
But the worst of it is that there
must be one great and original snob
in Essemere TO create such a situa-
ion and it is interesting to speculate
on who 1t is. Anyhow, I'm glad 1t isn't
DR.. Billcomer!-Chicago Daily News.