Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-04-03
OUTDOING
THE JANITOR
Mr.. Gilmore Finds It Difficult


the medium of common agent, ap-
piled to them for the restoration of
property finally became very
and Mr. Gilmore said he
was going to put a stop to it.
MIR. Gilmore had an opportunity to
pursue his drastic policy with the jan
itor the very next morning 1t was a
morning, and Mr.. Gilmore,
eager for battle, rushed to- the dumb
waiter in response to the clarion call
from the janitor's speaking tube
Hello" he said.
Hello, came the reply from the
depths of the basement Say, have
youse folks seen anything of a basket
of aigs from the delicatessen that was
left on the dumbwaiter this morning
for Mrs. Wash burn?"
NO" said Mr.. Gilmore, I'VE haven't.
What do you take us for, anyway? A
pack of thieves? When things are
lost about the house, why don't you
90 to some place else once in while
to look for them? Why do you al
ways come to us
Because, came the unhesitating
response, you are the only people in
the building who never lose anything
yourselves"
For a moment Mr.. Gilmore appeared
convinced by this apparently conclu-
sive evidence of his own guilt, but
soon his indignation as an injured
householder asserted itself, and urged
him to vindicate his honor.
THE only ones that haven't lost
anything, are WEI" he retorted. We'll,
just let me tell you that is no proof.
We have lost things, too"
You have?" exclaimed the janitor.
You never said anything about it,
NO." said Gilmore, 1--WE never did.
We kept still out of consideration for
you. We felt sorry for you. We knew
you had a hard time keeping track OF
so many different things, so when we
lost steaks and groceries and milk
and papers we just did without, or else
went out and bought more rather than
worry you about it. But we're through
with all such mistaken kindness Here
after when we lose anything you've
got to hustle around and find it, or
take chances on losing your job"
Having thus relieved himself of a
part of his bottled-up wrath, Gilmore
drew in his head and slammed the
door. Mrs Gilmore stood at his ell
how male and frightened.
"Oh, Robert" she said, what did
you mean by telling him that yarn
about our having lost things? We
never have"
That's all right" said Gilmore. Ell
is just as well to make him think so
What is more, | am going to keep or
rubbing our losses in.
Mr. Gilmore instituted his system
of revenge on the following morning
Say, john" he said, did you see
| anything of a roll of butter the
| grocer's boy left for US this morning.
mo, SIR" fioated up mildly from the
| foot of the dumbwaiter shaft.
THAT is too bad" said Gilmore
Somebody has swiped it. You hat
better find out who it was"
"All right" said the janitor. ''T'l
get it for you"
| Before Gilmore had finished hi
breakfast he was disturbed by vic
| lent whistling and shrieking at tn,
tube and the creaking of the dumb
waiter
| "Hello!" came a sepulchral voic'
from the basement. Here's you
butter
| Gilmore was too much astounded a
that unexpected announcement t.
make reply.
well, I'll be blessed" he said
Where do you suppose he got it?''
What are you going to do with it?
questioned Mrs. Gilmore
Keep it, l suppose
But it isn't ours" she protested
HE must have scared one of tn
neighbors into giving it up. You
better give it back to him to return t
them
Never" said Gilmore. I've star
ed out to teach that fellow a lessor
and I'm going to stick to it. Silenc
just now is the best policy.
In pursuance of his scheme for di!
ciplining the janitor, Mr.. Gilmore dul
ing the next few days reported mis-!
ing a pint of cream, ten-pound pacl
age of granulated sugar, a quart {
cranberries and a basket of potatoe.
and each time, to the Gilmores' eve
increasing amaZement, John Gale
back after the lapse of few minutes
"All right, sir; here it is"
At last Mrs. Gilmore, being of
superstitious bent, began to read di
aster in the janitor's extraordinar
obedience.
4 do hope" she said, that 70
won't report any more fictitious losse
Well be guilty of robbing everybod
| in the house before we get out of TIL
scrape.
The day after receiving the bask,
of potatoes, Mrs. Gilmore received hi
monthly bill from the grocer.
They've made mistake she sal
after comparing it with her own tier
lized list of purchases. They,
charged us for butter, cream, suga
cranberries and potatoes that l new,
ordered. Before you pay, be sure
call their attention to it,
Not wishing to be imposed upo
Gilmore went out at once to interyie
the rapacious grocer. He came bat
. wearing an air of inglorious defeat.
q guess" said he, that we'll ha,
to pay for those things. We got the1
all right We took them off the dunn
waiter. The janitor ordered them"