Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-05-15

4 The next president of the United
States was on the stage in the ball.
room Of the Waldorf-Astoria, In New
York city, the other night that Is. he
was there in efiigy; also he was elect
ed by a rising vote. And in these par
lous days of booms the affair was bar
anced and adjusted to fit, or. rather.
not to offend, the most enthusiastic
boomer of them all.
BY way of explanation, these great
doings were part of the grill room
convention" OF the Illinois society in
New York city 1t was modelled afte.'
the rites of a club OF writer's In Wash
ington who ameliorate the hardships of
exile in the provinces by lambasting
those who make news" ~'.'..
The nucleus of the affair was called
Presidential Possibiities-A Satirical.
Farcical Episode with Apologies to the
Eminent Men Concerned." by Herbert
Hall Winslow. The programme gave
1t to be understood that the characters
began with Mr. Carnegie and ran
through the list of men whose names
figure in the headlines and at the be-
ginning of columns introduced by such
words as .'he spoke as follows"
That was all the 80 guests knew
when they came into the ballroom. to
find it decorated like q convention hall,
with .placards attached to poles over
the tables. says the New York Tribune.
These banners, although they bore sim
ply numbers instead of the names of
states. carried out the convention idea
After everybody had been seated and
had been surprised by the Merry
Widow apologies to Henry w. Saw
age) waltz from the orchestra the cera
monies were opened by brief speeches
by Charles e. Hail. and Ebert H. Gary
president of the society. Then the cur
tains parted TO show Andrew Carnegie
standing behind dinner table with
Booker t. Washington" as his butler
The pair were in earnest conversation
and the facts We're that Mr.. Carnegie
had been disappointed by the regrets
of his guests. The dinner was ready
and he wanted somebody to eat it. He
ordered Booker to go out into the
street and invite the passersby to
come. Booker retired and In q mo-
ment reappeared, saying: 1--WE got 'em
can't say how good they are, but
they look respectable-they'r presi-
dental possibilities
IA large, open faced man, who
won't come in until he gets three
cheers" was the way Booker intro
duced "Uncle Joe Cannon" Sure
enough. he entered, white chin whisk-
ers. uptilted cigar and determined
stride. He took the seat at the head
of the table and raped with the gayel
after having shaken hands with Mr..
Carnegie. The host, by the bye, wore
kits with his tuxedo.
Tie orchestra struck up Coon, Coon,
Coon" and Senator Foraker rushed in.
ignored Carnegie" and shook hands
with Booker" the butler.
WAS my speech on the Brownsville
affair read to the graduating class at
Tuskegee? was his first question As
sured by Booker that 1t was. For
aker'' took his seat next TO Cannon"
The national anthem OF Sweden an
nounced Governor John a. Johnson"
who came in carrying big valise Ia
beled THE Swedish Vote" and an ac-
cent that didn't sit ON straight
Then arose Il Won't Go home Till
Morning" from the orchestra as a
boom for the dairy byproducts and
'Vice President Fairbanks" He was
hardly in his seat when Booker STEP
ped behind him and presented a full
pint cocktail. That's an insult" said
Fairbanks" but Booker" corrected
him with. mo. sir: it's Manhattan"
Just at this moment the orchestra
struck up fearful discord. There were
wild yells of "Cony" "Catch the edi-