The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-07-12
UNCERTAINTIES
HOd SIOcomh Tried to Teach His Calf to Drink With Serious Con- sequences Ono Accident After Another Nobody Killed but SsV- sraI MI ,ht of Bean Hull Par ticulaTS Below


 Two months ago Hod Glocomb's old red and white COW which he calls Spot give birth to a little calf resembling the mother in all respects except size. Hod he has been so busy all spring with one thing CT other that he aint had time to bother to teach the calf to drink milk outen a pail. and for that reason he has permitted said calf to absorb nourish- ment from the mother, the two being pastured together in the field back of Hod's house.
 Last week, however, Hod thought 1t was about time to take the calf away from the COW. So on Tuesday morning he made up his mind that he would give the calf it's first lesson in drinking milk. Hod he coaxed the COW and calf from the field into the barnyard. then securing a pail about half full of milk. he set 1t down in front of the calf to see what 1t would do to 1t if anything. As for the calf. it merely snifft the milk and turned away. After Hod had got tired standing around waiting for the calf .o drink, he finally grabbed holt of it by the ears, one ear in each hand, and drug ged it up to the pail and soused it's nose into the milk clean up to it's eyes. The calf which IS strong and full of vigor for it's size. raised its head up outen the pail ana 8tVo a bHeee0 TtBut Int0 HOO Q face filling his whiskers full of milk and also fiiing him with surprise to sech a extent that he fell over backward and iarred hisself up considerable.
 4od was now madder'n ever. and seys to hisseIf when the calf sneesed fin his face. 'sI reckon will make that soah blamed calf drink or I will know the req son why!' With which he grabbed the calf again, this time by the tail. and the
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 ward, pulling Hod after it. and beIlorren at every jump. When the calf began to hoIler for help it's mother took in the aituashion at a glance and made a wild Hash for Hod, hittin him in the back ana hutting him against the barnyard gate with sech force as to bust open the gate This surprised Hod more than when the calf sneezed in his face, and as soon as he could get on his feet he started down Main street with the COW at his heels madder'n a wet hen.
 lust as Hod was passing sy Hoskins residence Widow skinner who lives cross tf1e street from Sy's was returning home with a pair of lace curtains which she had washed and had had on Mrs. Hos Iin's Curtain stretcher to dry out. The widow is a little mite deef and didn't see Hod comin, and as for Hod he wus SO scared that he didn't realize where he was going. and as result he struck the widow broad side on. who was knocked offen her feet and went down witf, a dull sickning thud Hod tripping over her and the COW nearly run over both of them The lace curtains got snarled up with the cows feet and fright ened her so that she kept going right down Main street. but faster.
 Seth Dewberry, our heroic town con- stable saw her coEnin. and with great presents of mind stood in the middle of the road waving his arms. and trying to intimidate her so she would go back. As she approached Seth closer and closer, and he saw that she wasn't going to in- timidate worth a cent, he took to his heels and run into Bill Hepburn's black smith shop, glad to escape with his life. The COW kept right on nearly running over Deacon Bradbury who was crossing the street in front of the P. O., until she had past clean thru Bingvilie. after which she continued to run until sine had freed herself from the lace curtains. after which Sim Wilkins ketched her, tied rope round her neck and took her back to Hod's. When Hod and the Widow skinner got on there feet, Hod polojized to Mrs. skinner and offered to escort her home. She refused to accept his apology. or his company, and she talked to Hod in sech a manner that after she got thru saving what was on her mind fly would scarcely have lit on Hod. Mrs. Skinner seys that if Hod Slocomb don't call and pay her for them lace curtains which as