The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-11-03
DRIFT WOOD
This is the day.

This is the day.
 A man doesn't need shovel to scrape up acquaintances but with some he wishes he had.
 Nothing can express the contempt we have for girl when we are boy or the admiration we have for her af- ter we are a. man.
 Writers cramp-living in flat.
 +
 Some farmers never raise much of anything but a protest.
 When a man admits that his wife's dress is stunning he means that the bill for 1t nearly knocked him over Maybe it's just politeness that pre- vents most men from grabbing an op" portunity.
 "Bn has heavy part with the show this season"
 Yes; he has to move the piano around in the first act.
 They have never spoken since they fell out7''
 %TRe he couple that fell out of ten- story window last week.
 Hymns snoulo pc Playeu ePOA ~ upright piano.
 It's a misnomer to speak of wo- mans declining years after she passes 2o Those years that follSw Sais,T,nr are o ses are the earlier ones naturally.
 May-Dottie is head over heels in debt" 4h. sta@S os chnrrR girl she ought to get heels over head out of debt.  No wonder woman's stuck up thing From shoe to hat and feather. It takes a million pins-by Jing- To fasten her together.
 You can't clean and press divorce suit but some of 'em ought to be.
 +
 Neither can the
 Suffragette
 Shave herelf-
 Don't you forget
 "Petticoats must go," says The. Bals timore Sun. Gee whiz-did you hard- ly ever see one that wasn't on the go? Teddy had a Teddy bear
 He taught 1t funny tricks. He'd stand upon his legs and rear Out thoughts on politics. He was a model Teddy Bear
 (Say can you guess who? And everything that Teddy said
 The Bear was sure to do. He followed him to stump one day Against the peoples rule. It made the voters laugh and play
 To see him act the fool. But Teddy he just pulled the string While the big trusts only laughed And the bear he cut a pigeon Wlng' This Teddy Bear-Bill Taft
 Mebbe there Is receiver for that breakfast food concern because there weren't enough receivers for the break fast food.
 One million copies of "The Merry Widow Waltz have been sold in the United State in one year Thts hs a aimos, nos, have been purchased.
 Jack and Jill ran up a bill
 Just because they could.
 And now poor Jack to pay the oill
 Is somewhere saving WOOL The inscription on a coin that has been worn smooth may be deciphered by placing it on red hot iron, says a scientific journal, Another good plan
  finger nails make marks upon 1t that may readily be mistaken for the real thing.
 After today the photograph will be- come commonplace.
 Did you ever notice that In all the popular ballads some fellow Is i'm. ploring some girl to love him. rms ms Isn't true in real life these days; he Aerhk A walking cane-especially in leap year.
 Back at Drift.
 Philosopher Phil Armstrong says the bitterest experience Of a young man t1s he doesn't know 1t all.-Lincon (Neo'' State Journal.
 Harry Thaw is looking for some reading matter to while away s.Il ms VIinS one send the Congressional Record Drift Armstrong in Montgomery Ad- vertiser. ,a rrho,, .,a,, he's already crazy.-SylacauSa (Ala.) Advance.
 Drift Armstrong, who is a bachelor: says men should think seriously ot certainly after Houston (Tex) Post Writes an old bachelor in The Mont gomery Advertiser who must draw on his imagination: 'Hrhe fright you set on your wedding day is one you may never get ver."-Columbia (Tenn.) Democrat.
 Montgomery (Ala. )Advertjser. About the bittereBt dose in this world for a young man to swallow is the realization finally that he doesn't know 1t all. Which Is a universal les- son st. Louis (Mo.l TAn4A