Staunton spectator and vindicator. [volume] (Staunton, Va.) 1896-1916, 1908-12-04
Invention That AN Impatient World
Awaits in Vain.

vented the shirt stud with movable
head. He is one of the benefactors Of
mankind. No one has heard his name,
but he has done more for humanity
than say, Napoleon. He has given the
whole world five minutes every morn
ing. Think of the years thus saved and
the tempers preservee!
1t is, on the other hand, impossible
to be friendly with the man who in
vented that obstinate and arbitrary
thing of bone which used TO be the ruin
of all collars. Such man can only be
forgotten, and, If possible, forgiven.
He is in the same category as the man
who thought of the silk hat or the
starched shirt There is no excuse for
him.
It's, in fact, necessary that; the in
venIor. should be man of sensitive
and amiable disposition. He must
know all the weaknesses Of humanity
and be prepared to respond to them.
IlOt SCOlll tllC iltNiC
he must remember that the man who
thought of overshOes made a fortune.
He need not worry so much about fly
ing machines as about studs. 1t is
more necessary that he should add tC
our comfort than to our altitude.
Other inventions become more nee
essary every day. How is it, for in
stances, that the umbrella is allowed
to remain so primitive? In its pres.
ent form it is clumsy device fol
protecting one part of ones body at the
expense of another. By its assistance
the rain is conducted in concentrated
form to ones legs. In crowd it is g
constant source of irritation, as it bene
fits only the person Immediately be
meath it, and drips water on anyone
else who comes within its range. In 6
wind it may blow inside out at any
moment. Surely the mind of man can
think of something better than the
umbrella?
Then, too, the doormat. Could any
thing be more unsatisfactory. In its
present form it is simply raising
ground for germs. What is needed is
receiving, self-cleaning mat, on which
dust and mud could not accumulate.
The visitor would put his foot on the
mat and the dust would be whirled in
to receiver. A small electric motor
would provide the power.
Everyone complains of the heat in
the summer, and many people are un-
able to sleep successfully at night.
Why should not bedrooms have sliding
roofs? Nothing could be more healthy
or enjoyable than to be protected by
walls, but free from the oppression of
the roof.
proof shoe of reasonable weight. Any
one who wants to keep dry on rainy
day has to wear heavy shooting boots.
Some material is needed which could
be combined with leather to make a
waterproof shoe of ordinary weight.
The man who thought of the foun-
tain pen was kindly soul, but he
might have gone further and made GER
tain that it would not ink ones fingers
or overflow intofme's pocket. A gauge
should be fitted SO that one could tell
when the ink is nearly exhausted.
Chairs are improving, but they are
still uncomfortable. They are too an
gular and unresponsive, and they are
made in too wholesale way. A man
ought to be fitted for his. chair, just as
he is fitted for his clothes. One of the
disadvantages of society is the necessity
for sitting in other peoples chairs.
A fortune is, in fact, waiting for the
professor Of chairs He would give ad-
vice on the art of sitting down, and at
the end of the consultation would
measure his patent and hand over the
measurements, with notes, to the chair
building department. What could be
more grotesque than to expect man
six feet tall to be comfortable in chair
meant for man of five feet six? What
is more painful than to see a woman
sitting in chair which gives her no
opportunity to be graceful?