The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-17
AMdtrimOniaIAgent
copyright. zoos. by American Press Asso-
cIatlonl

copyright. zoos. by American Press Asso-
ciaton.l
Driving along a country road,
came upon small house bearing
Sign, Matrimonial Agency" Curlos-
ity led me to stop and investigate. In.
stead of being received by woman,
as l expected, man answered my
summons. He led me into a poorly
furnished sitting room and waited for
me to declare the object of my com
ing.
He was an uncouth looking man,
with red hair and freckled skin, but
there was nothing unpleasant about
his expression unless It was his eye
II was not exactly malevolent; It rath-
er indicated soul within harassed by
some adversely.
WELL" said when we were seat
ed, Il saw your sign, and as / am
looking for wife thought'I would
come In and see what you have to Of
fer. But FIRST tell me how you, man.
happen to be running a matrimonial
agency. business that seems to per
tain Ihtner 10 woman
I'm here to make stories for other
people, not to tell mine"
what do you mean by making sto-
RESP"
Stories according to the novel writ.
ers all begin with the meetin Of a
man and woman. Usually they mar
ry at the end Of the yarn, and the nov
elist sinks out OF the business"
Sinks out Of the buslnessp
~ don't pretend to make happy mar.
riages. / simply introduce people and
let 'em figure 1t out for themselves"
"But why do you use the word
stink in speaking Of the novelist?'
why doesn't he stand up square
and say: I've told you about this
couple, what kind of time they've
had gittin' each other, all the fool
pranks they've played a-doin' Of 1t to
the day they was married? But y /
mought as well understand that I /
don't mean TO say they're goin' to keep /
1t up. They may git on together, but
the chances are--for the fust two or
three years anyway-they won't They
may fight right along hangin' on for
the sake of their children, or they may
find their way into the divorce courts.
Anyway, they got to git over a lot "
troubles IF the novelist woulda be
far about 1t and tell his readers jist
what to expect If the story run on, he
wouldn't sell so many of his novels,
/, al III
don't do no SIGH thing. He don't even
take 'em through the honeymoon.
There's lots Of couples goin' off to-
gether all alone by themselves, afeared
somebody II butt in and before they've
got Through the honeymoon wish some
body .gonld butt In Honeymoon Why
do they call it honeymoon? Because 1t
changes. When 1t begins the moons
full and begins to wane right off It
isn't the hull moon they mean, cause
in two weeks the moons new ag'in and
begins to wane. That's the time a
couple begins to git tired of each 9th
er's undivided company that Is, If they
don't begin before"
"Oh you're too sweeping in your
statements" interrupted. "There are
lots OF happy marriages. lots where
the honeymoon never ends. But I'm
interested. Tell me your own story.
don't want wife. / only came in
here from curiosity. OF course I've no
right to take up your time without
profit to you. You must make your
fee all the same"
| tossed bill on to table near by.
"Well, stranger, eff y put 1t that
away | don't mind tellin' you. ] went
through the novel experience part, and
confess it was very slick. The gal
and / rot the sulhs at each other every
two or three days. sometimes several
times a day. But the maxim up was
wo'th it all. Then we said goodby to
the story business and sailed off into
the honeymoon stage. Somehow when
we got miTed at each other the maxim
IN wasn't so sorghum-like. Before we
cot horne we had a real fight that we
didn't make up at all.
II won't go over what follered, Chill
dren came to us and. seem their
mother fchtin' me all the time. they
TUX a hand and TUX TO pttehin' stools