The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-07-07
DRIFT " OD ny PHIL n. ARMsTnoNe.

The siamese rse costs sss to make and the stars and Stripes. regulation sixe, costs si.5o. but oh--what difference. The Buffalo News nominates . lexless man for Mir. Bryan's running. mate. Is this sarcasm?
 old Toper: Tour query received; we can't quite grasp what you are driving at. but mebbe you mint-iuiep.
 Why does bachelor always smile in that sly. but triumphsnt way every time he hears baby cry7
 what I recommend for your case. said the doctor Ifs absolute rest and quietv 'TIl buy . ticket for my wifss vacation to. morrow"
 & Ts' from ss. Tsss 'ssn s ss . Rss Rss. at least.
 % What ss. has bsco%s ,s of the old ts ss.sIonsa socks?
 I,,a takes sss,nI sn kinds Of Rssgls ts sks eye very time he talks to you. t isn't the horror of having her tooth pulled that bothers q girl when she goes to . town 90 much ss the fear that the dcn- tist may not be handsome and unmarri- ed. Lazy people waste an awful lot of energy looking for work so that they can avoid Who wouldn't be a country preacher and expound the kind of religion that calls for free fried chicken and hot buttered bis tPass the sausr kraut.,
 
 coming home aad snr you ary Remember what compliment tt Is to your youth. Think--he imagines you are stiii . child.
 .'Another lie nailed" remarked the sign poster as he tackled fake patent medi- cine ad. on the side of post. We have just received our invitation to attend the annual convention of American srs at psass S5 ~sa cn M' assas. ss to 2sth. Houston, Texas. was originally chosen for the place of meeting. but owing ehanse was later decided upon. We hope to be with the bunch on that date. sleeper from the Amazon Put nighties of his grammazon--
 He was too fat To get his paJamazou
 --5uffaIo Nswa A maiden of Chattanooga, Tenn. Whose name was Miss Bridget D. Hem.
 wss afioat on the tide. 'T would like to have wan of them menn."
 Ralph Lyon. when tue sun had drawn near the meridian
 Saw a snake in the grass;
 Why. dear mei'' said the las& That's small hose-supporter ophidiani"
 Houston Post Wine drank decoction of near beer;
 Whereat he remarked
 As his sad soul embarked T will now take Q rest on the bier here"
 Nashville Tennesseaa. An auto fiend down in Mobile, Punctured the tire of his while.
 And 1t angered his blood.
 When he stuck in the mood. And folks called him "stuck-up" with
 such zile.
 Editor DrIftwood's interrogatiye question: Why does woman always sit down on the floor to put on her stockings? Because she calls this getting down on her job" which is .'speciaity to her sex, effough to master it, as she has everything handy and in readiness for the arduous ordeal That Is nothinG more than force Dear Drift
 You do ask some astounding questions.
  them mo little" But nevertheless. you may mar their feelings, but never their beauty row W. ieis1d. d. %.. Montgomery. Dear Drift t:-Your question: why does a woman elways make frantic jabs at her hair, every time the front door bell rings 2" Bcause the Bible says. The glory of wo- man is in her hair." and judging her from actions. she believes in living up to this sacred truth. as a great deal of her ample time is spent in front of the mirror. And it Is perfectly natural for her to feel her hair, when she hears the door bell ring. And to see as the case may be. that the false hair or wig, and the ornamental rats 1t contains. are hidden from view. So she can make Q presentable appearance to en- certain. Yours truly.
 W. c. M, Montgomery.
  Dear Drift Who put you wise. as to where all women sit to put on their stock
 ''strawberry Blonde" (Answer please.) City.
 July ard. 1908 Dear Drift:-You ask why does woman always sit on the floor to put on her stockings?" Please inform us how you dis covered such to be the case and we'N ex- plain why. Mrs. n. S. H.. Selma,