The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1908-12-26
. CAUGHT ON THE .
. RUN ABOUT TOWN .

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"'Lo, Leo; didje have a Merry
Chrishmash?
"Oh, can't complain; it's all in a
lifetime, you know, and will come out
in the wash. How'd you put in your
time?"
''Youngster, l had one h of a
time yesterday an last night; y'see
spending the week with her
folks in Pendleton. SO I just cutter
loose, an went the limit Chrish-
mash comes only once in a year, an
wife goes home about as frequently
so 1 felt constrained to cut the bonds
of restraint and enjoy a good time
While there was an opportunity Does
my head look like a Washtub this
or has it taken on the SEM
blanee of an overgrown watermelon ?
1t feels like combination of the two
and I almost wish 1 hadn't
tits a great game. old man; have
wifey go home to spend the holidays
with the folks; make her think you
are a martyr to the cause, so the tear
drops will ramble, and then, as soon
as you are sure the train has pulled
out, go hunt up a bunch Of the boys
and proceed to enjoy a brief season
of single blessedness. But I'm tarna- :
tion glad she won't be home for a week
yet, because my bun feels as though
it might retain it's present congested
feeling for fully that length of time
Did you ever play it, Leo? No? Gee
you're unlucky.
"Now, for my part once a year is
sufficiency, and then some; but the
way the bunch did start the fireworks
last night was something that would
have made old Barleycorn's heart
thump with pride. We started in on
egg-nog and tom-and jerry, and kept
it up steady until near midnight, grow
ing more pleased with ourselves and
the world as we progressed down the
pleasant pathway; everything was just
as we would have it; the conversation
was made up of fellows who could
sidle up to the barlet, open the sluice
gates and Letter ramble till further or
ders; we'll, after while tom -and-egg-
nog got too tame for some of us and
we gave orders for mixed concoctions
keeping that up for an hour or so.
"Say, kidlet, the change was almost
instantly with me; a dizziness seized
my knee joints, my head grew weak
my tongue refused to obey my will
and the last remember L was standing
on a quarter sawed golden oak table
singing a ballad about something OF
other, while the rest of the fellows
cheered me on to greater efforts. That
was the last of it until this morning
when 1 woke to find myself in cOZy
little trundle bed, amid familiar scenes
For hours it seemed,I was content just
to lie and watch a solitary fly buzz
his buzzy way around the ceiling
without so much as coming to life
enough to realize that my top-piece
was in a state of decomposition, and
that, about halfway between my
crown and my fOre-piece there was an
aching void that seemed as though
nothing would alleviate. / can appre-
ciate the feelings of that ginney in
the Sultan of Sulu who has to GO
through that experience every night
in the week, and 1 can also appreciate
the pathOs of that song about the
cold, gray dawn of the morning after
even though the audience generally
thinks it's funny; nothing funny about
it, Leo; I know. for 1 tried it last
night. And today I'm 'lad that
year, and that time for New Years
resolutions is close upon US.
But, say, old man, do you thing
there is a chance that my wife will
get wise to the racket? Some of the
boys NAV get too talkative with their
female wives after they sober up, and
in that way there is a possibility that
it may get out. / have it! I'll send a
wire this afternoon and tell wifey
to stay in Pendleton until winter is
over. BY that time everyone will
have forgotten holiday doings, and
she will not be so likely to hear tales
told out of school,
What as 1 going to resolve next
Friday? Now, youngster, you are try
ing to get information on a subject
on which the release has not been
signed by the editors. Just wait, and
jolliest bunch of dope that you ever
saw IL eat your uerDy nat, sweat
band and ALL No, of course, I do not
mean to abide by them all, but it
makes WHEY feel so happy to think
what a model man she is to have for
the coming year and as 1 am gradual
in violating my own irOn-clad rules,
she is not wise that they have been
fractured until next year, when 1 will
make them all over again.
well, 1 must get some seltzer- wa
ter to aid in the reduction of this nut
of mine. But if you should ever de-
sire to celebrate in a style wholly be-
coming to a gentleman, call OH me,
and I'll put you wise to few things