The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1908-05-01
MANHATTAN'S
BATH
Billy Was ally In
Favor Of 10y PIunges


kind Of water that will run out OF the
faucet. Then jump in, swa.h around
for about two minutes with a big
cake OF soap and sponge, and then
jump out and rub coarse crash
towel over your body. IL you don't
feel ike a brace of fighting cocks, /
don't want cent
That's the way Mr.. Manhattan has
been talking for years. He says 1t
doesn't make any difference how many
times a young fellow has crooked his
elbow the evening before or how many
strong cigars he may have burned up
in the course Of the session-if he'll
just tumble into that cold brooklet
that flows into every well regulated
home there'll be nothing to it.
makes you a new man" he'll tell
you. "Freshens you up for the rest
Of the day. After you get through,
you go into the dining-room and the
way you mutilate the country sausage
and flannel cakes is enough to make
your wife give Won hard look. Don't
slip me any of that stuff about not
being able to eat in the morning.
Nothing In il, son, take 1t from me.
Everybody can eat in the morning if
they'll play the game play. Look at
me. Don't look exactly like an under
, study for the party of the first part
in a neurological contract, do l?
Betcher life | don't. I'm hard as nails
and twice as sharp, I'm here TO prom
Use you. Got a string of life insur-
ance writer's lined up in the hall lead
ing to my fiat fighting among them
selves to make me a policy No chance
for the company to lose for another
hundred years or so. And cold baths
have done it, son, cold baths and moth
ing else"
AS matter Of fact, Mr. Manhattan
took cold bath in the autumn of
1905. He got in the tub one morning
the hot water tubes weren't working,
and after he had got over sputtering
and was out on the cork mat again
rubbing himself dry, he wasn't at all
sure he hadn't enjoyed the novelty.
He told himself he'd take cold bath
every morning Of his life after that.
He took the plunge next morning
and emerged radiantly. He took 1t
for a week or so and began to feature
himself in his talk with his friends.
He allowed there was only one way
for a grown-up man to start the day,
and that was to sOuse his person liz
water that was just one degree re-
] q
ice cream freezer after tie cream had
been friz. Then along came a cold
morning a proper cold morning, and
as Mr.. Manhattan regarded the frigid
bath it seemed to sheer at him. lie
shivered and put his hama in the tub
Then he turned back to his shaving.
! Suddenly he laid aside the razor and
reached over to th@ tub. He switched
the faucets The hot water poured in.
| I'll Just take the air off this bath,
said Manhattan. A week later he was
going at the bath as he had gone at
/ it most Of his life-a tub filled with
warm water in which he could recline
and doze and enjoy himself thorough
! ly. He has never taken cold bath
since
Every morning after Mr.. Manhattan
has taken his bath and finished shaw
ing he turns on the same sort OF
water for Mrs. Manhattan. Only he
doesn't tell her it is the same style.
Gee" he says to her. Il don't see
how you can go against. that game,
honest. | don't. 1t gives me the
Willies Just to think of soaking my
brains in that sort of soup. Why
don't you be sporty and take flop in
the cold stuff"
Mrs. Manhattan tells him that in
the fixst place she doesn't necessarily
soak her brain when she takes bath,
and in the second place she isn't so
constituted that a cold bath seems
good to her.
Mr.. Manhattan took the big sleep
the other night, after he had put in
about ten hours at two dollar limit
and quit so far to the bad he was dis
eusted. Mrs Manhattan, contrary to
usual CUSTOM got up first that day
and after she had bathed thoughtfully
turne0 OH lUe COlN NdbCl III iCA
When Mr.. Manhattan reached the
bathroom he shaved abstractedly
thinking all the while of the game OF
the night previous, and paying no at
tention to the full tub. This he &C
cepted without question. He had for
gotten he had not turned the water Oh
himself, and when he had made his
face presentable he sank leisurely into
the water.
Mrs. Manhattan, in alarm over the
shrek of agony which her husband
emitted, knocked fearsomely at the
door. Manhattan, now out of the icy
plunge and shivering on the mat
scowled so furiously Mrs. Manhattan
would have tainted had she been able
to see through the door. Whats the
matter, dear?" asked the lady, wht
boasts of Billy's cold bathing propensi
ties almost as much as he does him
self.
"M-matter," said Manhattan, hi
teeth chattering so he could hardl!
. form the words, you put t-t-tut-tacl
t i'm the b-bath and | stepped on It."