davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

bullet made its return to earth. It
dropped with a thud right into the
middle Of the little hole in the tissue
paper that Tate's first ball had made.
Then Tate fired the four remaining
cartridges in quick succession at that
invisible pin-point in the sky that he
was aiming at. and just ten seconds
from the instant the first shot was fred
the balls clattered back. every one of
the four falling right straight into the
hole in the piece of yellow tissue paper
that had been made by the first bullet.
Then Tate lifted up the sheet of It's
sue paper. and there were the six balls
piled up on top Of each other in a little
heap. I reckon that was kind O. poor
craftsmanship, Ell?
Then. too, Tate had one style Of
shooting-that is, Of shooting in the
dark-that you jumpers up this way
never see at all. There never was a
marksman who could find his aim in the
dark like Tate Talkins. He discovered
his proficiency in this respect in pecu-
liar manner. He was sleeping on the
edge Of the Mojave desert one night.
when, suddenly awakening, he heard the
ominous rattle Of one of those venom
Gus sand rattlesnakes some distance
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

When it came to shooting. Tate had
everything in old Arizona whip-sawed nine
ways from the jack. sure was Jared up
heap by a shooting stunt I saw Tate
get away with one afternoon out on the
edge Of Tucson.
Tate pulled out of his pocket a two
by-two-foot sheet Of yellow tissue paper,
spread it out and tackled it to the
ground with toothpicks. Then he shifted
at the air bit to ascertain the exact
strength of the moderate breeze that
was blowing Then Tate pointed his
gun straight up at the blue dome Of
heaven. With his gun pointing that
way he fired. AS soon as the discharge
happened Tate lowered his gun and be-
gan to count--'one, two. three. four. Ave.
six. seven, eight. nine'-zipp! Just on
the stroke of his ten count the bah that
Tate had fired at the heavens dropped
right into the center Of the little sheet
of tissue paper that he had spread out
on the ground Tate cracked a slow
grin then. and once more he raised his
gun over his head. sighted it carefully
at the vault Of heaven. and fired
Once more he counted, and once
again, just on the stroke Of ten, the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25
est in life.

est IN lie.
THAT husband Of hers he said to me.
is the wise guy to keep the raging main
between himself and his spouse. Theirs
must have been a peaceful home when
they were living together
"One OF the hardest luck late ones that
ever I saw was an actor man who closed
up his season on Broadway early this
spring and bought ticket for Europe.
He ratified down here in caloosh at
O'Clock in the morning, pretty we'll edged
up. for he'd been around with the gang.
making some farewell visits.
You're bound to catch her. eh?' /
said to him when he wabbled out Of his
automobile.
You bet your nose-ring I'm bound to
catch her. he told me. I stayed up all
night to catch her I've been left pant
Ing on these piers four times in these last
six years. and this time I'm going to
climb aboard and get myself boarded up
and housed over in my cabin and clinch
My name Is Willie Wisdom from Wisdom
hurst, and I've done my last stunt horn
piping around on steamship pier and
hating the bunch leaning over the rail
SO he ciambered up the gangway and
turned into his bunk. Along about in
the morning a gang OF his Indian friends
from up the line swooped down on the
like that. and they went aboard anu
pulled him out OF his bunk and yanked
him out onto the pier. They went over
the way to envelop a few parting high
ones. and while they were gone the
steamer began to move out. Just as she
began to move the actor man came
a-pelting across the street without any
hat-his pals had collared his headpiece-
and started to race down the pier.
yelled after him that there was nothing
transpiring in the way Of a ride for him
on that boat. and he came to halt. His
friends were right after him. and they
danced the ring-around-rosy with him in
the center. He looked mad At first. but
finally he gr!nned and took his dose good
naturally.
''You don't want to take too seriously
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25
80

all this stuff you read about people being
carried accidentally to Europe. There
was chap who was written up a good
deal last summer as having been acct
dentally cargoed to the other side, but he
wasn't. He just wanted to get over for
a little whizZ. without any domestic in
cuUlbrances, and he made 1t stick in
great shape. He didn't let on to anybody
that he'd had the whole thing mapped
out to be carried off while busy bidding
goodbye to a friend on board. His wife.
who wasn't particularly amiable looking.
was down at the pier to meet him when
he got back. about month later.
q so they took you across without your
wanting to go? / said TO him when his
wife was out of hearing for a moment.
THE wink he handed me out of his OF
eye put me right all right. He'd lost
about fifteen pounds. but he looked. at
about month ago a middle-aged
man with a kind of leftover and a cigar
stuck very much III the corner of his face
poked his head out of an automobile that
rumbled up about half an hour after his
steamer had gone. He called me over to
him.
HAS she gomez he asked me in .
whisper.
But said he. smiling amiably. my
wifes aboard OF her. you know. and I've
just missed her.
Too bad" said l.
'Ye-eh-too bad said he, still smiling
at a great rate and handing me a fistful
of cigars. SO II sure is-too bad and
he gave me a poke in the ribs with a
pudgy fcrefnger. Horrible, that's what
I cali it, and he handed me another poke
In the blouse. Worst thing that ever
happened to me- and he went right on
grinning Mine Is sad story and then
with a parting poke he directed the grim
ming chauffeur to drive him to q tavern
that's q heap known hereabouts for gay
ETY..
Now l wonder what his idea could
have been?" wound up the pier superin-
tendent trying to look puzzled over it,
CLARENCE L. CULLEN
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

to release their long legs from the glue
which held them to the piece of paper.
Well. Tate took three guns and went into
the 'dobe. closing the door after him.
Now, this 'dobe, which had been used
as storeroom before Tate took it to live
In. was just sixty-seve feet and nine
inches in length. We waited outside for
the sound of the shots. Tate waited for
the katydid chorus to quiet down some be-
fore beginning shooting. When the katy
dds dropped their complaining and only
let out their alarms one by one Tate
started in. When we took that piece of
cardboard to the light, by the horns Of
the ella. each and every one Of them if
teen katydids glued in circle had been
squnched through the cardboard into the
wall by Tate's fifteen bullets.
But l sure never will forget how sur
prised I was when I saw Tate Talkins
perform his first string shot. He rugged
up one of his guns so that a good gust
Of wind would almost have let her off. and
then he fastened a piece of ordinary Irvine
to the trigger. Then with the gun rest
ing on it's side in the palm Of his left
hand he put one ball into her. cooked her
and was ready. He told us that he was
going to try to hit the middle leaf of a
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

late one out Of the immense passenger
list, and that, curiously enough, the late
one hadn't yet shown up. when he sudden
ty emitted growl.
There he comes" was the wording OF
his growl. and. looking where he was
looking. / saw a taxicab pun and clatter
circuitously and frenziedly through the
jam of wagons and trucks on the forward
part of the pier
II told you one Of 'em would be along
was waiting for him." said the pier
superintendent. Il wouldn't have felt ex-
actly right If he hadn't shown up. I've
come to believe, 1 guess. that a ship
couldn't have any luck on her passage
II there wasn't at least one Of them.
II never could just figure out how they
do it. these folks. Perhaps they stop on
their way to a steamer to play jacks or
marbles or puss-in- the-corner or tiddledy-
winks or something. But. whatever they
do. they come scrambling along when the
chief engineer is standing by to get his
first bells from the bridge.
I've been on these docks. In one capac-
ity or another. almost since the days
when there were sidewheel steamers
crossing the Atlantic, and I can and do
truthfully say that not once have seen
q steamer all ready to slide out without
one or more Of these dreamers bobbing
up at the last minute.
They're about equally divided between
men and women. When they're absolutely
left by steamer. Of course. II would be
too much to expect them not to carry
on In more or less Of q maniacal manner.
II the late one is a man he'll as likely
as not dance around on the end OF the
pier and shake his fist at the steamer out
In the stream and bawl about the thing
being a put-up job and threaten to sue
the company or burn down the pier, and
keep up constant cussin, like Horrible
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

women. The dapper man happened to be
an officer of the army who had stopped
off at Denver to visit friends after having
been in charge of large detachment Of
recruits taken to a Pacific coast post. He
was In citizens dress, however, and, of
course, the two nom commissioned officers
had no means of knowing that he was an
officer Of the army they served.
''Say, look here. l want to engage that
machine" said the dapper man to the
chauffeur II want 1t for two or three
hours for myself and these ladies. What
are your terms?'
I'm sorry, sir, but the car has just been
engaged by these two gentlemen said the
chauffeur. indicating the two non-coms.
in uniform.
with a sheer the dapper man turned to
the two men.
Gentlemen. eh?" he said. with strong
accumulation of the first word. "Well. I
guess these gentlemen will give I'D the
machine to me when they're informed
who am
Turning, then, to the pair of non-coms.
he said to them:
II am an officer of cavalry travelling. l
want this automobile You two can have
It later or get another one somewhere"
Il guess vel have 1t now.' quietly OBJ
served one of the non-coms.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

ble-ended cartridge. you see-not for COM
mercial profit. but merely for his own di-
version. And in the end it was Ta'e's
undoinc.
This double-ended cartridge, as the
name Of it, of course. signifies. could be
exploded from either end. Tate invented
the thing because there was nothing left
that he couldn't hit by direct firing. and
SO he wanted to try himself out on re-
bound firing. He would fire one Of those
double-ended cartridges at steel target.
When the double-ended ball would hit the
steel target. the unfired end would OF
course, explode. and the ball would come
sailing back at a target that Tate had
fixed close to the point from which he
did the firing. He got so he could ring up
a quarterback bulrs-eye every time on
the rebound of one of these double-c ndej
cartridges. But one day he essayed the
job of knocking a short clay pipe out Of
his own mouth with one of the double
enders. He was a bit nervous that MORN
ing. probably. for when the ball came
back from the steel target IL caught Tate
In the temple and he cashed in-poor
Tate. he was sure a good hombrey." and
the tall, angular man with the three
denied white sombrero sighed deeply.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

War Department heard about it unofficial
ly not long after it occurred.
An occurrence of a similar sort, but
with a different outcome, took place in a
San Francisco restaurant last New Year
night They have a great habit of sitting
up at the restaurants to see the old year
out in San Francisco. Two enlisted men
stationed at the Preside had one of the
small tables on the main floor Of the
Poodle Dog restaurant. which is we'll
known to everybody who has ever visited
San Francisco. They had engaged the
small table for that night several weeks
in advance They were both men of good
eastern families who had entered the
army for the purpose of working for COM
missions. and both Of them had success
fully passed their initial examinations.
They were sober young chaps, as OF
course they had to be in order to get
themselves in line for commissions. and
New Year night they were enjoying the
fun at their table, which was at its height,
when, about ten minutes before midnight.
an officer from the Presidio. accompanied
by a somewhat larky young woman. en-
tered the place.
The tables were all filed but the Pre-
sidio officer. looking about him, espied the
two enlisted men seated at their little
table in corner.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

Don't you know that if you sit on the
bank of a stream and play on a fife the
hsh will all stick their heads out of water
and keep 'em out till you quit?'
OF course. l know that" 1 admitted.
gravely; but you can't do that with til.
fife. wooden one is better, but reed
is best of ALL
Buster Brown got up philosophically and
tucked the fife away in his blouse.
The picture saw" he commented,
thought something was wrong. I've been
blowing on that for a long time and there
wasn't one Of 'em come up. Ill get
wooden one and try again.
prominent republican, who is known
far and wide as one Of the cleverest poll
ticians. all In all, In the country. VINO
was in Washington tother day. spent no
little time and breath in bemoaning the
changes In campaign methods that time
has brought about.
Talk about the democrats being hard
put to it to scrape together a campaign
fund" said he. why don't see that the
republicans are much better on Blll laI.
and Bill Bryan are both yelling TOT
from corporations will not be accepted
and that individual gifts must be WITHIN
certain limit So where's the money
coming from? Are the dear people goins
to loosen up? Never. Is the laoorine
man going to separate himself from some
OF his beer money for the occasion? NIX.
Will the great army of government EN-
ployes come to the rescue? l guess not!
Il, for one am curious as well as m
terested. I want to see how the campaign
funds Of this year compare with tnose Oh
former days. when all these restrictions
idiotic restrictions most Of them, In my
opinion-were not in force. Remember the
great republican fund of 1895? well
there Is no doubt but that good por-
ton of those millions was collected: ne
81 no OT4SS
knuckles and a nail-studded club. SO
let's just watch and see how much al
the true and devoted republicans OF the
country pour into the strong box OF the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

ship does leave on time, ntnety-nine
times out Of a hundred. But the
ships passengers do net reach the ship
on time in anything like that proportion.
Watching the departure Of the loaded
to-the-gunls midsummer steamers is
q great New York diversion for folks who
can't do the voyaging themselves. and no
feature of the fun affords greater enter
tainment than that furnished by the slow
pokes or the absent-minded ones who
career wildly down to the piers. too late
for their steamer or just on the pin-point
Of being too late. The gyrations Of the
dilly-dallies when they fnd themselves In
this awful situation-with their trunks
all packed away In the steamers holds
and 30 on-can't help but be more or
less funny to the unsympathetic ones
who fiock to the piers to see the sights
Of the steamers outgoings
The other morning when the Mauritania.
loaded with passengers as she never had
been loaded before. was about to sail.
happened to be talking with the superin-
tendent Of the pier. He had just told
me that there'd surely be at least one
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

cactus plant that stood just beside the
trail about BAT feet and inches from
where Tate stood. Well, he gave us time
to dodge out Of range. and then he very
gently tossed the gun. which he still held
in the palm of his left hand. into the air:
The string attached to the trigger he held
In his right hand. When the gun had as
sumed just the position in the air that
Tate wanted he jerked the string In his
right hand. and bang! off she went! We
raced down to the cactus. and there's sure
enough, we found that Tate's string-shot
bullet had gone right through the center
of the middle leaf Of the cactus that ne
had tried for.
''Tate often shot lightning bug at a
distance of 300 feet while the bug was still
in the act of performing its illuminating
stunt. How would we know that he
would actually hit the lightning bug?
Why. because Tate made it practice TO
just shoot their heads of. and we'd SEQ
the remaining part of the lightning bug
drop to the ground. still shedding light.
though decapitated-too much surprised.
I reckon. to stop Pickering suddenly.
''Tate, poor chap. went over the Big
Divide while experimenting with his IA
vorite amusement. Tate invented dou-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

like a birdie on a briar bough. but there
wasn't any sing in her voice that morn
ing. You'd have thought she was tear
ing up the old man for coming home on a
Saturday night with a bun on and break
ing the crockery In the cupboard I'm
telling you straight that she swept up
and down this pier attacking In her pa
tots for thirty minutes without a break.
and I saw all the Chimney truckmen on
the dock crossing themselves and sticking
their fingers in their ears. so she GER
tainly must have been whooping 1t up In
her own tongue She tossed her head
around so much that all Of the combs and
hairpins came out Of her hair in show
er on the dock, and her fine black glossy
mop Of hair came tunbling down almost
to her knees without her knowing any,
thing about II. She certainly made a fine
picture, but her maid didn't appear to be
enjoying herself little bit. The maid
was dead careful to circle around the
prima donna at an average distance Of
about seventeen feet. I reckon the maid
was thinking about her own hair.
Another of the late women that took
on something vicious had reason, as I
afterward learned, for feeling so sore
about missing her steamer. It appears
that she was living apart from her hus-
band. and that they had entered into
signed and sealed arrangement to live all
the time with an ocean separating them.
The husband spent six months in Europe
and the other six In this country and so
did she. He paid her a good many thou
sands q year for consenting to this deal,
and the stipulation was that this allow
ance to her should lapse II. through her
fault. they should ever find themselves
on the same continent at the same time.
Well. she pissed the steamer by q nose
on this morning. and her husband was
due on a ship arriving on that same day.
So you can see that she really had some.
thing to kick about. She kicked all right.
When she got through with the agent
he walked into the Office, removed his
ONCE coat in q tired sort Of a way and
eaid he reckoned he'd knock OF for the
day and go home and lie down. He
looked as II he hadn't any further inter-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

Bill, and abuse the agent and all the rest
of the company's employees on the dock.
and act in general like a 'longshoreman
With couple O 81 qI his o. ne
"A few weeks ago little late one with
specs and pinkish hair and with no more
chin on his face than an ant-eater, got
along here to the pier when his steamer
under her own steam for Sandy Hook.
He didn't look like there was a good
yelp in him. But he sure fooled us up a
lot He just chucked his Panama down
with an liberated tooth. He cussed out
everybody connected with the line down
to the galley cooks Of the freighters. and
he fairly foamed at the mouth. His
spectacles dropped off while he was rip
ping and roaring around. but he was too
blamed mad even to pick EN- up. Finally
he had an idea.
Gimme a tug! he shrieked at me-
II informed him. as politely as possible
in tho circumstances. that there didn't
happen to be any tug around at the mo-
ment that could be lassoed into his
service.
!" Why then. blast 1t. build one
build one! he howled. and when grinned
at that, thought he was going to pick
up bale-hook and pull me apart like SO
much crab meat.
FINALLY he left the pier. after tearing
around for about an hour. and walked
straight as cnelkIne into one OF the
sroggeries across the street. He got SPIT
fiicated over there. and about an hour
later he bore down upon me and wanted
to give me his old gold watch and chain
I got him into a cab and had him driven
to his home. But they're sure to take on
something scandalous. these late ones.
when the late one that is left Is a
woman she acts differently, Of course, but
she keeps US some busy at that. She gen.
orally stands on the dock and. after
handing her bag and parasol and other
gear to her maid. pulls out her handker-
chief and weeps.
Then when the first misery OF It's over
she gets mad and begins to utter things
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25

trouble in getting the pick of the vaca-
ton collection. But these evidences to
the contrary Notwithstanding. the ball
ance is maintained pretty we'll by the
rest of us. for some think it better to
go away early in order to strengthen
the human system, inside and outside,
head, legs and all the rest Of the works,
to withstand the sapping heat Of
sizzling summer: some think it wise to
split the difference and vacate and rus
ticate 'twixt hot spells; some are in
clined to the view that "a fourteen day
vacation taken at the rate of one
day a week Is all to the beneficial.
while the rest Of our tribe are firm in
the opinion that the one and only way
to turn the trick is to use that half
month of loaf1ng time in the fall. in or
der that the Frustrated person may re-
cover with the assistance Of frosty
nights and chillsome days, from the hot
weather.
But to get back for fleeing moment
to the peeled-nose folks. It's possible.
a professionally exact friend of mine
tells me. for any observing person to
determine. by the fifty-seven varieties
of peeled noses now prevalent in Wash
SCISSORS spent their allotted out-of-town
time. OF course, every one knows that
the sun kisses most passionately at the
seashore, or can pick out the proboscis
Of a returned sand-crab from among
a thousand billion vacation beaks, but
this observing, most observing friend
Of mine, can differentiate, with hardly
ever a mistake. between tennis noses
mountain noses. lake noses, river noses,
horseback noses and a dozen other sorts.
He says each one Of each variety has
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-25
~

They were both in multi. but the officer
recognized them as enlisted mentor en-
listed men studying for commissions are
marked men around a post. The officer,
who was slightly worse for the celebra-
ton, strobe over to their table. Although
he was in civilian dress they recognized
him and. rising, they stood at attention
and saluted him.
What time are you fellows due back
at the post?' the officer asked them. not
very civilly.
AT reveille. SIR" one Of the young SOL
diers replied.
We'll" said the officer. still pretty off,
hand in his manner. you'd better be on
your way now. I want that table"
Naturally enough, the two young SOL
diers looked keenly mortified But. hav-
ing worked so hard for their prospective
commissions, they did not feel like doing
anything to jeopardize in any way their
chances of getting the epaulets. So after
exchanging glances they started to move
away from the table.
But just at this stage of it the some
what larky young woman accompanying
the officer stepped into the situation.
How does 1t happen that you are de-
priving these gentlemen OF their table in
such a discourteous way?" she asked the
officer.