davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
sUNFLowER PHILOSOPHY.

There never was a bride who thought the newspapers did her Jus tice.
 An ordinary man can't attack woman and get away with it, but A president can.
 Nothing seems to hurt a woEan quite so much as paying a great big dollar to the milkman.
 When a man goes to lteiI his pun ishment will probably be to read the papers" prepared by women for their clubs.
 When a New York woman sues a man for breach of promise, you may safely bet it wasn't an innocent hand holding affair.
 Every time I meet woman I par ticularly admire I am either chewing tobacco or badly in need of a shave. No wonder l am not popular.
 When a man submits to a process sion wedding the other men look at him the way boys look at a boy whose mother makes him wear loug curls.
 dogs life is an easy one. Nothing to do, comfortable home, plenty to eat, and then given a lot of credit for looking after it's own interests by be- ing faithful to it's master.
 You often hear of being between two fires" That's nothing. The aver age man has so many fires built around him that if he were between only two fires he would decide the world is getting easy on him.-Atchi- son (KSn) Globe
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
ITEMS OF INTEREST.

The king of Italy is a vegetarian, Mice, though fond of butter, will lot eat oleo.
 Chess is the oldest game Its age S 5,200 years.
 Piano leather is costliest. Only one amer can make it.
 It would take 31,OOO stamps to form l complete collection.
 A mans hair turns gray five years joOner than a woman's.
 Germany imports to America 131,0OG aanaries a tweJvemonth
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
Look Back Upon Truths.

We are wont to look forward to troubles with fears of what they will infiict, but back upon them with won der at what they have saved us from. -Woman's Life.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
Observation by Uncle David.

Has the woman who tortures her sell with tight shoes ever tried to fig ure out the number of men who have fallen in love with ladies on account of the smallness of their feet?"
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
We Make Sweet Pickles" Also.

American pickles are too salty for the Dutch,' writes our consul at Amsterdam. The biggest pickle dealer In the Netherlands told him so. We pass the news along to our readers.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
PH!LosoEIcK ROBUSTNESS.

A cold is something you catch with ut running.
 You can't tell what's in a man s mrse by the noise of his clothes. If we should get everything we pray ar We would all have too much
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
Find Cure for Opium Habit.

An anti-opium crusade in the Malay states is meeting with great success. A plant said to possess the properties of curing the opium habit has been discovered in Selangor, and this is being distributed wholesale.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
Invention Worth Money.

Have you invented anything re- cently?"
 Yes" answered the sensational scientist. T have invented a new way to get to the north pole.'
 'Is it good for anything?"
 Certainly. It is good for ten pages in a magazine"
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
First Days of Printinc.

Printing, when the industry was in its infancy, was only done on one side of a page The two blank pages were then pasted together, to give the ap. pearance of one leaf.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
Varying Potato Crops.

England's potato crop averages over six tons an acre. Russia grows barely two tons to the acre, and Italy little over one and three-fourths tons.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
New York's Oldest Street.

Crooked, narrow, busy Nassau street is the oldest thoroughfare in New York city to preserve its original form. It has always been commer cial mart.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
Press Aqent's Business.

The singer whose press agent says she carries gems worth half a million Is suspected of laying the groundwork for spectacular and convincing theft.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10

thanks to our friends and neigh bors for their expression of sym pathy in our late bereavement wherein their sorrow united with ours in the death of our daugh- ter-in-law, Mrs. Myrthe Buck the widow of our son Harry L. Buck deceased.
 We appreaciate your kind act and sympathies extended which will ever be q kind remembrance with us.
 F. M Buck
 l. C. Buck
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
Stars Visible to the Eve.

In the northern hemisphere there are 6,100 stars plainly visible to the naked eye; in the southern, 1900 stars.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
MRS. cRAIGIE's EPIGRAMs.

When the heart has a certain meas Ire of distress it is agitated and in "evolt, but when 1t is full of woe, and can contain no more it is still, and ts stiffness passes for resignation to lustiny.
 Time answers questions by deaden- ne all our faculties and sensations. ] rave been watching elderly men and women; they try to believe that they lave gained wisdom. They have only ost the power of wondering.
 People who wish to regard divine ,rovidence as an English gentleman lf large fortune, perfect morals, an lnXiety to frustrate the foreigner and ! desire to feed rather than to meet he poor, were disturbed by Firmaid. ms fear of God, which to some ;eemed superstition and to others ill ldvised.-From "The Dream and the 3usiress.''
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
Pigeons Earliest Letter Carriers,

Pigeons were employed in the mail service Tn Bible times. They acted as letter carriers when Joshua invaded Palestine.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10

Observed by Uncle DaviG. Few men who have nothing to do succeed at it.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
Daily Papers in English.

Daily papers to the number of 17,G00 are published in the English language
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10
Explained.

Prize fights are by rounds because so often they are not on the square.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10

Get Dewitt $ Carbolized Witch Hazel Salve-itis healing. sooth- ing and cooling. It is good for piles.
 Sold by Holbrook Drug Store, C. Hess, Jr, Prop.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10

There never was a bride who thought the newspapers did her Jus tice.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10

An ordinary man can't attack a woman and get away with it, but A president can.
Holbrook argus., 1908-03-10

Nothing seems to hurt a woman quite so much as paying a great big dollar to the milkman.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
The Youths Companion for 1909

The amount of good reading given
to subscribers to the Youths Compan-
ion during the year is indicated by the
following summary of contents for
1909; 80 article contributed by men and
women of wide distinction in public
life, in literature, in science, in bust
ness, in score of professions. $50
capital stories including six serial
stories; humorous stories; stories of
adventure, character, heroism. 1000
up-to date notes on current events, re-
cent discoveries in the world of science
and nature, important matters in poll
tics and government. Inimitable do
nestle sketches, anecdotes, bits of
humor and selected miscellany. The
weekly health article, the weekly wom-
ems article, timely editorials, etc.
A full announcement of the new VOL
ume will be sent with sample copies
of the paper to any address on request.
The new subscriber for 1909 who at
once sends 81. Is for the new volume
(add so cents for extra postage If he
lives in Canada) will receive free all
the remaining issues for 1908, includ-
ing the double holiday numbers; also
The Companions new calender for 1909,
/" In Grandmother's Garden" litho.
graphed in Is colors.
The YOUTHS COMPANION,
LA Berkeley Street, Boston, Mass.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
A ROW AT WASHINGTON

President Roosevelt doesn't seem
happy unless he is stirring up row
with somebody. When he sent a mes
sage to congress lambasting the edi-
tors of the New York World and the
Indianapolis News for what they said
about the purchase of the Panama
Canal outfit the members laughed out
right In their enjoyment; but when he
censured congress about limiting the
work of the secret service they became
indignant if not very much enraged.
The Times Republican, of Marshall
town in discussing the matter says:
President Roosevelt is notessential-
ly tactful man. He ropes the senate
somewhat after the style he was wont
to employ when riding the range and
proceeds to theprocess of "hogtying"
both of which are methods accompa-
MED by shock and more or less pain
full. In his anxiety to do the work and
get to the next job he is sometimes
rough and hurried, but he generally
"gets his steer" In the instance of
the cutting out" of "Longhorn Fora
ker" people used to handling ofmilch
COWS might see what to them seems
cruelty. The sizzle of branding iron
and scent of scorching are of painful
suggestion. Mr.. Bailey has run ahead
OF the rope with visions of branding
process rioting in his mind, and it is
entirely natural that he should rush
wildly from the far end of the pasture
to paw and below in an attempt to
stampede the herd.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
SMITHS FINANCIAL BILL

Hon. Walter /. Smith, member OF
congress from this district, has intro
duced bill that is of considerable inn
portance in connection with the matter
of keeping appropriations within the
receipts and thereby preventing the
deficits which fare becoming too large
and too frequent for good financial
success. The bill provides that when
the appropriations asked for are found
to be larger than the estimates for rev.
enue, the secretary of the treasury shall
notify the President of this fact and
he shall advise congress, suggesting
what appropriations can best be re-
duced without injury to the public SER
vice, or by what method more money
can be raised for such purpose. Under
such law the congress would be fully
informed ofthe probable income in adj
vance of the appropriations and would
be more likely to trim the amounts in
a way TO avoid any deficiency.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
Des Moines' Best Evening Newspaper for
full Year of l9O9-.-S2.OO

To introduce The Des Moines Even
ing Tribune under new management
since December 1st) the publishers are
Offering the paper for the full year of
1909 for only $500, providing thatsub-
scriptions are received during Decem-
Der. The regular rate is SO 90 a year
The Tribune will be sent free for the
balance of this year to new rea ders ac-
cepting this offer.
Tee New Evening Tribune is thor
oughly modern evening newspaper
the best printed in Des Moines. Ia ad-
dition to the services of the great news
gathering associations it has one of
the most capable stats of editors and
reporters in the west 1t is clean
trustworthy newspaper for the home.
Each issue contains many metropoli-
tan features.
To secure the advantage of the special
81. 90 rate, send remittance during De-
cember to The Evening Tribune, Des
Moines, Iowa, or the editor of this
newspaper will forward your subscrip-
tiOn
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
A VALUABLE INVENTION
Secured on a Table Mat by James p.
KelgOr OF Audubon

Mr.. James P. Kelgor of Audubon,
Iowa, has been notified by his attor-
neys to the effect that the United States
Patent Office has formally allowed his
application for a patent on a table
mat. Mr.. Kelgor's invention COM
prises a mat made up of thin wooden
strips, all of them fexibly connected
with each other by means of piece of
felt or other similar material glued to
all of the wooden strips. This mat
may be placed ON table having a
highly polished surface aud then hot
dishes can be placed on the mat with
out affecting the finish of the table top.
The device is one that would be useful
in every household and the sale is ex-
pected to be unusually large.
The mats may be rolled up into a
very small compass so that they can
be shipped or stored easily and In a
small space. One of the particular
advantages of Mr.. Kelgor's invention
is that when the mat is placed in fiat
position all of the strips are locked in
position against being rolled up so
that the mat may also serve as a tray
upon which the user may carry a hot
dish. Mr.. Kelgor expects to manu-
facture the mat in various sizes and
having various kinds of finish and or
namentation. lie has already been
very much encouraged with regard to
the invention and it is believed that
he will realize handsomely from it.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
SENATOR KNOX FOR SECRETARY

Judge Taft has announced the ac-
ceptance of Senator Knox for the first
place In his cabinet. He will make q
great secretary OF state. He Is a man
OF highest character and successful
lawyer. His home is at Pittsburg. In
1901 President Mckinley chose him for
attorney general. He was retained by
President Roosevelt until his election
as senator from Pennsylvania in 1904,
after the death OF Matt Quay, The
coming president said he wanted a
great lawyer and great American
for the position, and there Is general
agreement that he has secured just
what he wanted. That Office has been
filled by great men generally. Secre-
taries Day, Hay. Root and Knox-men
of short names bnt great ability.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
Judge Green Remembered

The Nonpareil of, last Friday, in
referring to court matters at Council
Bluffs says that the petit jurors in the
district court, who are now nearing
the close of November term OF court
for which they were summoned. yes
terday anticipated Christmas and pre-
sented w. II. Green, the presiding
judge, with gold headed umbrella,
and to Bailiff j. B. Matlack an order
for hat. Judge Green was met with
this surprise while in his room at the
court house just before opening the
morning session of court, and Bailiff
Matlack was caughtin thecloak room.
Upon the head of the umbrella pre-
sented to the judge was the following
engraved inscription: Presented by
the Petit Jury, November Term, 1908. I"
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
A MODEL PRESIDENT

More and more as the years go by
are the people impressed that William
Mckinley was a model president. He
was man Of ability, culture, integri-
ty and tact Instead of arousing an
tagonism he conciliated rival factions,
but never at the sacrifice OF principle.
10 speaking at the dedication OF me-
mortal organ In New York Judge Taft
brought out very clearly some OF the
excellent traits OF the late president.
He had great persuasive powers. Mr..
Root weni to Washingtonfully intend
ding to decline place in the cabinet
but returned as secretary OF war. Taft
himself responded to call from Nc
Kinley with his mind made upthat he
would not accept any appointment,
but he went to the Philippines and
commenced the good work for our new
possessions. Mckinley was man OF
much tact and good judge OF human
nature. And he gathered about him
men OF the greatest ability and highest
charac ter.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
A Marriage Announcement

Mr.. and Mrs. @. Hahn announce the
marriage of their daughter, Selma
Margaret Hahn, to Mr.. William d.
Mantz on Monday, December 14th, at
Fairbury, Nebraska. AT home after
January 1st, Belle PLANE, Saskatche-
wan, Canada. The bride and groom
left on Saturday for their new home
where they will occupy large farm
belonging to her father. 1t will be no.
ticed that the announcement does not
state the year of their marriage. And
we are credibly informed that they
were maIIied on the 18th day of No
vember a year ago and just quietly
played a joke on their friends, thing
few people could do for so long time.
The groom has been the junior partner
of the firm of Currier and Mantz for
several years and is steady indus
trious young man. The bride is the
daughter of Mr.. and Mrs. Chris Hahn
and we'll known and respected in the
community. In going to the far north
they are leaving the home and friends
of their childhood but carry withthem
many good wishes for happiness and
success.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
CUMMINS KNOWS BETTER

The Usage News, whose editor has
been and still is strong friend and
supporter of Senator Cummins says
that Surprise is expressed in some
quarters that Cummins has not star
tied the country by an oratorical exhi
bition. Senator Cummins is not going
to make a fool of himself by talking
for the sake OF talking, but when the
occasion arises in the consideration
of legislation for him to have his say
he will speak, and he will have some
thing to say we'll worth the time OF
the senator's to listen
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
~ ALBERT Q. ROSS
OUR CHRISTMAS DAY

What Christmas should be is poor
ly understood and but little appreci-
ated these modern days. What it has
come TO be is we'll described by Eugene
Wood in the December Delineator
II is kind OF Sunday. Six days of
the week the ideal set before you is to
have the alarm clock wake you; to
gobble down your breakfast before you
are thoroughly aroused; to rush to
business and get to work before the
whistle gets done blowing or be dock
ed an hours time; to begrudge the
time for luncheon; TO work all day
and get home so tired that you fall
asleep in the chair after supper, The
same thing comes next day and the
next through all your life. That's
business.
But Christmas comes along. You
tell your little ones that awful whop-
per about Santa Claus and his rein
deer, and they stand and listen to you
with their jaws hanging loose and
their eyes looking like hard boiled
eggs with the shells OFF. And the old
err ones aid and abet you In deceit,
and help the little ones compose their
sprawling letter to old Santa, asking
for dolls and skates, and choo-choo
cars and all such extravagances, when
you ought to be saving up your money
against rainy day. And you skimp
yourself of necessary food to buy
these follies, and sit up nights wasting
your strength for the next day and
when eleven O'Clock, Christmas eve,
comes, and you get down from the
chair, having hung up the last gilt
ball or glass peacock, you are so
tuckered you can scarcely stand. But
you turn out the gas and light the
candles to see how pretty it all looks
and your wife says: won't she be
tickled at this! And won't he Jump for
Joy when he sees thatn' and you put
your arm around her, and the twink
ling candles swim before your sighq,
and your throat kind of chokes you.
That's Christmas.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
The Motifs Buy Rival Paper

A special from Marengo to the Des
Moines papers says that deal was
contaminated last week by which The
Marengo Herald will pass into the
hands of The Marengo Republican
first of the year. E. HI. Payne founded
The Herald about ten years ago as an
Independent newspaper but it later
turned to the support of republican
principles. 1t has always been strong
Cummins paper. The Republican was
acquired little over year ago by
Mott and Son, formerly OF The Audu-
bon Republican, who have been steadi-
ly improving the plant and paper,
having recently installed typograph
line casting machine. This will make
The Republican one of the best coun-
try newspaper properties in eastern
Iowa.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
Audubon Danish Brotherhood

Recently elected officers of Audubon
Danish Brotherhood Lodge. They
will be installed the first Wednesday
evening in January:
Jacob Andersen, President.
l.. o. Petersen, Vice-President.
N G. Hansen, Secretary.
August Jensen, Sec'y of Finance.
G. L. Christensen, Cashier.
Bertel Jensen, Trustee.
Jens Kjeldgaard, Marshal.
Chris Jensen, Inner Guard.
Chris Beck, Outer Guard.
Martin Larsen,
Chris Henriksen, Trustees Library
L. o. Petersen,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
AMONG THE FRATERNITIES
Grand Army Election

Allison Post, of Audubon, met on
evening and elected these
officers for the year 1909:
l.. A. McGinnis, Commander.
w. Fl. Jay, Senior Vice Comman'r
A. j. Eddy, Junior Vice-Comman' n.
ID. L. Thomas, Chaplain.
Ed b. Cousins. Adjutant.
III. w. Wilson, Quartermaster.
A. S. Culver, Surgeon.
A H. Edwards. Officer of Day.
Martin Smith, officer of Guard.
E. j. Freeman, Sergeant Major.
r, G. Ping, Qnartermaster Serg't.
John N. Brockway, Sentinel.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
REPUBLICAN GAIN IN THE SOUTH

The New York World says that the
solid south is Melting under Bryan
ISM" But that is only one Of the
things that ismaklng republican votes
in that section. Remarkable advances
have been made in the great industries
in that section OF our country. This is
especially true in Alabama, Georgia,
Maryland, Missouri, North Carolina,
Tennessee and Virginia. The follow
ing figures show Bryan's loss Of popu-
lar vote and pluralities In 1908 com
pared with his vote In 1900:
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
The Youths Companion Calendar for 'O9

I'm Grandmother Garden" is the
title of the beautiful picture painted
by Charles G. Curran for the Youths
Companion panel Calendar for 1909.
1t is printed on the finest finished
stock, by the most recent methods of
TYPOGRAPHY. All the strength and
beauty of the original painting are
shown by employing thirteen separate
colors. This is the largest Calendar
that the Companion has ever issued,
the picture alone measuring inches
in width and "a inches in length. Be-
low thepicture are arranged the twelve
months. Great care has been taken
to make the date figures legible and
to insure practical and useful, as
we'll as an artistic Calendar. The
Calendar is given to all those who pay
their subscriptions to the Companion
for 1909.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
Judcpendent Order Odd Fellows

Audubon Lodge, No. 1896, met last
week and elected these officers for the
coming year, and they will be INSTALL
ed the first Monday night in January:
r. B. White, Noble Grand.
Will Hamilton, Vice-Grand.
E. M, Johnson, Secretary.
Jens o. Christensen, Treasurer.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
Rebekah Lodge Officers

The Audubon Rebekah ladies met
few evenings ago and elected these
officers for 1909:
Mrs. Lydia Townsend, Noble Grand
Mrs. Harriet Davis, Vice Grand.
Mrs. Lavenia McGinnis, Rec. Sec'y
Mrs. Clara Dollahide, Financial Sec
Mrs. Adah Currier, Treasurer.
Mrs. Lydia Chandler, President Of
District No. 5.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
The Royal Neighb0rs

Recently elected officers for Audubon
Camp of Royal Neighbors for year of
1909:
Mrs. Anna Tramp, Oracle.
Mrs. Anna Law, Vice-Oracle.
Mrs. Maggie Reese, Recorder.
Mrs. Nellie Booten, Chancellor.
Miss Clara Anderson, Marshal.
Mrs. G. L. Christensen, Inside Sen.
Mrs. Sam Ulrich, Outside Sentinel.
Mrs. Charles Poulson, Treasurer.
Mrs. Charles Poulson,
Mrs. Titterington, Trustees.
Miss Ruth Anderson,
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24
Methodist Sunday School

These officers we're recently elected
by members of the Audubon Methodist
Sunday School for the year 1909:
A. H Roberts, Superintendent.
Harriet Bilharz, Assistant.
j. M. Renftle, Treasurer.
Ruth Anderson, Secretary.
Alice Gardner, Assistant.
Harry Willard, Assistant.
Mildred Buck, Librarian.
Iva Haderer, Chorister.
lola Johnson, Pianist.
Franc Anderson, Assistant.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24

Mrs. John Rutherford and child
rem arrived from Des Moines, Tues
day to visit with her parents, John
Quinby and wife, up at Ross.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24

Miss Alice Steele, of Des Moines,
was here last week to visit with her
sister, Mrs. Gertrude Nelson. Miss
Steele is one of the faithful employees
of the Historical Department of State.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24

Judge E. Willard, of Atlantic, is
here attending court.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-12-24

Banker John Gray, of Casey, was
n town few days last week.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-04-25

GOVERNMENT FARMS FREE-oUR
ll2 page Book vacant government
Land, Describes every acre In every
county I'm T., s Tells how secured free.
zoos diagrams and tables. An about free
Irrigated farms, price IS cents postpaid.
Webb Pub Co. Dept. lO9 ST. Pau. MINI.