Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-12-18
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Patience-That Miss Below is going
to sing Patrice-Oh, is she? What
shall we talk about?-The Tatler
Mrs. Henpeck-You were talking in
your sleep last night, Henry Mr..
Henpeck-I beg your pardon, my dear,
for having interrupted you.-Stray
Stories.
SilLcus-What do you consider is
the proper time for a man to marry?
Cynicus-Oh, l suppose when he hasn't
anything else to worry him.-Philadel-
phia Record.
Departing Guest-We've had a slmpA
ly delightful time! Hostess-I'm so
glad. At the same time l regret that
the storm kept all our best people
away.-Brooklyn Life
Mrs. Bacon-This paper says that
mans hair turns gray about five years
earlier than a wOman's. Mr.. Bacon
That Is because man wears his hair
all the time.-Yonkers Statesman.
Elderly Uncle-Spent your entire
patrimony, have you, Archibald? Gone
through everything? Scapegrace Neph-
ew-Yes, uncle, everything but the
bankruptcy cOurt.-Chicago Tribune.
Faddist Vlsltor-Are you allowed in
this prison any exercise beneficial for
your health? Convict-Oh, yes, ma am.
BY advice Of my counsel | have been
skipping the rope.-Baltimor Amerl-
can.
do you play any instrument, Mr..
Jimp" "Yes, I'm cornetist." And
your sister?" "She's a pianist" Does
your mother play? "She's n zlther-
lst." "And your father?' Hes a pes
simist."
'If 1 were you," said the old bache-
lor to the benedict, I'D either rule or
know why" "Well," was the reply,
las l already know why, l suppose
that's half the battle !'-Atlanta Con-
stitution.
Dawson-The facial features plainly
II
selecting your wife were you governed
by her chin? Spenlow-No; but 1
have been ever since we were married.
Boston Globe.
Have you" asked the judge of a
recently convicted man, "anything to
offer the court before sentence Is
passed?' mo, your honor" replied
the prisoner, my lawyer took my last
ent."-The Reporter
Niece-Uncle they say that there are
more marriages of blondes than Of bru-
nettes Why Is 1t, l wonder2 Uncle
Singleton Ca confirmed bachelor)-
HIM! Naturally, the lightheaded ones
go first.-The Mirror.
Country Editor (out West This
has been lucky day for me. Faith
full Wife-Has some one been in to pay
a subscription? Editor-Well, NO,
wasn't as lucky as that; but I was
shot at and missed.-New York Week
ly.
"And do you like newspaper men?"
he asked the little maid in most con-
descending tone of voice. 81 don't
know" she replied, artlessly; "the on
ly one | know is the one who brings
our paper every morning. g."-Lippln-
colts Magazine.
Farmer Barker-I want to get a
present to take home to my wife on
the farm. Elegant Clerk-How would
she like a pie knife? Farmer Barker
Good land, young man! Amt you
never been told you mustn't eat pie
with no knife?-New York Times.
The little girl was very fond Of plea.
SAINT days, and at the close of heavy
rainstorm petitloned in her prayer for
fine weather; when the next morning
the sun shOne bright and clear she
became jubilant, and told her prayer
to her grandmother, who said: "Well,
1t may be warmer tomorrow so that
grandma's rheumatism will be better?"
"All right, I WILL" was the quick re-
sponse; and that night as she knelt
she said: 20 Lord, please make 1t hot
for grandma"
Grubb-I hear your last novel has
already appeared in its sixth edition.
How did you manage to become so
phenomenally popular? Scrubb-Very
simple. | put personal in the pa
pers saying that l was looking for
wife who is something like the hero
Inc Of my novel. Within two days the
first edition was sold out.-Tit-Bits.
"Why that's regular little print
Ing press, isn't it?' remarked the WIS.,
ltor. "Yes," replied Mrs. Popley,
"Willle's uncle gave 1t to him on his
birthday" what complete little
thing It's self-inklng, isn't itg" "I
don't know but Willie is"