Monroe City Democrat., 1908-12-17

hOW luS LIHe ID drawing pretty OEe
when fellow will have to be mi 3hty
careful about opening bureau drawers
when his wife is in the room If he
doesn't want to be scared into con-
niption when she notices what he's
doing. Y'see, this is, just about the
beginning Of the season when wives
start to hiding the Christmas presents
they've bought for their husbands
Funny gag, that, too.
Then there's another thing about
this Christmas present hiding bust.
ness. Most men stick 1t out that won.
en- are the curious. inquisitive SEX
don't they? Well, don't believe 1t
In my opinion men are a whole heap
more curious and inquisitive than
women. Fact is. know it.
For instance, a husband, long
about this season that's approaching
Is cropping around for fresh shirt
upon getting up in the morning. He
yanks out the wrong drawer Of the
bureau. Well, on this morning he
pulls out the bottom bureau drawer,
say, and his wife, who Is fixing
her hair at the chiffonier in an
other part Of the room, catches him
in the act Just in time, let's out her
little squawk, and races over to the
bureau and pushes the drawer shut.
$50 it's there, hey?' he says to
her. 'Scuse me for living and then
the mullethead goes on grinning like
a chimpanzee while he brushes his
hair. Then he turns to her.
'Watchoo got in there, anyway
he asks her.
"She tells him, with a gEmace.
and very properly, that it's none Of his
business. And she adds something
about folks that rubber
"'But, say, g'wan and tell me what
choo got in there, won't you? he tries
again, wheedlingly.
"Whereupon his wife makes mention
of that feline that met an untimely
end through curiosity.
"'That's all right about the cat
says the husband then, but I'll bet
| you a new rubber plant that it's cigars
that you've got in there And then
he begins to look a bit alarmed. Say,
hope not, though. I'm thinking about
swearing off smoking soon now, any
how
But this hint Of his about the ci-
gars doesn't get the least bit of a
rise out OF her. Not much. Nothing
whatever doing in the conversational
line on her part.
"'Oh, I'm pinhead, sure enough,
her husband says then, after a pause,
and still consumed and just eaten
4 alive by curiosity. I might have
known all the time that it's a shaving
outfit. That's exactly what it is, for
a sure thing
"However, his wife most carefully
adjusts her side combs and quite re-
frains from talking. Then he sticks
his hands into his trousers pockets
and looks her over qufzzically.
"'Aw, come on; now. like good
girl, and tell me If you've gone and
got me that bath robe that we were
looking at in the shop window the
other afternoon he says to her in his
! most persuasive tone.
"'Say, Minnie, you might let a fel'
Ter see what you've got tucked In
there, at that
Just compare the attitude Of the
average husband in this Christmas
gift business with the position OF his
+ wife on that same subject. She doesn't
!. really want to know what he is going
to give her for Christmas. She wants
o to be 'sprised.'
"Look, here, hum, he says to hei
I some morning along toward Christmas
e usually he puts II on till about the
last day. when everything is all picked
over in the stores-Look a-here, my
q dear, whatchoo want for Christmas
5 hey? It's up to you. you knowT
q "'Why, the very ideal she exclaims
7 up to me! Preposterous! Why, II
wouldn't be any Christmas gift at al
r IL I told you what wanted you t6
e get for me-
"Oh, that's one way of looking a
It,, he says. But. dye know, / wal
thinking about getting you-'
"'Sh-sh-sh! Stopp she cries. Dom
!. you dare tell me. Jack Goslins. Dom
). you dareV
i "All the same. she's foxy. at that
After while an idea strikes her.
"You know. Of course, Jack. sh'
y says, musingly, that n you are wor