davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star., 1908-01-26
EVERY NAN TO HIS TRADE.

If you do not know how TO write or read
And figures are meaningless to you,
Your case is pitiful one, indeed
But don't give up as the foolish do:
There may be rewards that You still can earn,
YOU too on the splendid heights may dwell.
For surely no man is too dull TO learn
How To do some one thing wen.
II you cannot paint and you cannot sing.
And you guide no fleets Ger stormy seas.
Perhaps, IL you try. you can learn to swing
With surprising skill the gay trapeze.
For it's every man to his trade, you know;
Let the minstrel sing and the warrior hight,
And surely no man is too weak to show
How to do some thing right.
Though you cannot toot the clarinet.
And the trombone fills you with wild alarm,
You may have the gift that one needs to get
A living out of the peaceful farm:
Only the weak man suffers doubt
To bear him down or TO haunt his breast,
And only the fool will not find out
How to do some thing best.
II the eggs are stale that the heartless throw
When you speak your lines in the part you play.
Do not he crushed by the cruel blow.
But strive to win In some other way:
There picks TO swing, there are eranks 70
There are nails to drive and there's corn to
she'll
You too may possess the wit to learn
How TO do some one thing we'll
Chicago Record Herald.
Evening star., 1908-01-26
American Journal of Sociology. issued yes

American Journal of Sociology, issued yes
terday.
Before arriving at his Utopian conclu-
sions Prof. Elkin insists that:
Every village and city must have a
public physician. not only to cure people.
but to keep them well.
The governm Mt must supply lawyers
to give legal advice free.
1.-The clergy must Cult initiating.
''Colegs should print and edit news
papers.
insurance should be function of the
government.
Railroads should charge no more than
onefourth of a cent a mile.
THE cook question must be solved py
eating clubs
Labor must keep on organizing"
A man whose cerebral convolutions are
not twisted will be inclined to Say rats.
Other men who have hoarsened them
selves cheering for the rights of the
'peepul'' and who have calloused their
feet marching under tn banner of popu-
lis will applaud the professors declara-
tion of principle, It has the ring and
resonance of the platform on which cranks
d dalight to rant.
governm Mt physician in every VII
lage? Forsooth. There are several ply
sicians in every village. and despite them
there are chills and grip. Would govern
ment doctors be more efficient TheS
private doctors instead of being paid an
annual wage. work by the piece and there
fore have more incentive to do creditable
Jobs and please their custom.
The government should supply lawyers
to give legal advice free? Never, 1e-
gal advice that one pays for is apt to be
dangerous but legal advice that is given
away-the heavens forfend, What the
government should do instead of supply
ing lawyers woud be to suppress some
of those now at large.
Colleges should print and edit neWspa-
pers? Zounds and odds bodkins. When a
college graduate gets a Job On a newspa-
pei it takes 80 long to beat few tid-bits
of sense into his armor-belted skull that
aged And as to having newspapers ed
tied by college professors? Every college
graduate is perfect. Y aware that he knows
more than the professors.
Insurance should be q function of the
government? Surely insurance has
enough risks already
Railroads should charge no more than
one-fouTth of a cent a mile? If this reg
ulation of railroads goes much further
passengers will have to walk.
Labor must keep on organizing? Labor
IS doing it. Labor needs not the sugges-
ton so generously put forth by Prof.
Elkin.~
Evening star., 1908-01-26
Bryan and His Friends.

II looks easy enough to the Philadelphia
Record:
"An announcement by William Jennings
BRYAN of his retirement as a candidate Tor
President and of his refusal under any
circumstances to accept the democrats
nomination would put life into the deliio-
cratic party enthuse several million Vot rs
who are at present apathetic and induce a
million or two republ. cans VINO Notea ioi
Rocsv Welt in 1904 to cease worrying over
the prospects of White House conlfoi VI
the next republican national conVeht-oh'
On the contrary, such an announcement
would come as near producing chaos as
any other Imaginable. MIR. Bryan Woutd
then bow obedience to the Cleveland WING
oY his party. and that would cost him the
control of his own wing. lie ana 'he
country discovered in 1904 his limitations
in that direction. After taxing hiihseh
out of the way, he bowed to the noiililia-
ton Of Judge Parker and tried TO denver
his friends to the ticket, only TO see 'ehs
of thousands of them sulk on election DAY
and other tens of thousands vote LOT MI.
roosevelt He was anything but the
peerless leader that year
Let us suppose Mr.. Bryan taxing MINI
self out of the way again. Nhdt eA
PLANTATION would he give to his trlenos ana
followers? That he had discovered Ae
could not be elected? And why Dared .
Because of his policies-because OF what
is known as BryanIsm. Thereupon, as the
reasoning Is, the men who believe IN
Bryanism voted for il In 1896 and l5Jo,
wanted to vote for it in 1904. and Will not
be nappy until they get it, would rally TO
The Candidate put up as a protest against
Bryanism and elect him President. Could
anything be more unlikely? so far from
taking such step. these men-and tney
are numerous-would either support the
popullst, or peoples, canoidate-Who may
be MIR. Hearst with an Independence
League atlachment-or nominate canul-
date of their own. And thus, instead OF
being united, the democratic party Wou a
be thrown into worse CONFUSION than ever
As for the republicans, they are MOI
worrying so much now "over the pros
poets of White House control of the next
republican national convention" Sine
his return JIdge Taft has taken his boom
into his own hands, and it shows the ef-
fects of his good management. There l.
widespread appreciation of the man in his
own party He is millions of miles re-
moved from the valuation of rubber
stamp. He is an Individual in his own
right, and an attractive personality. and
IL nominated at Chicago should poll not
only his partys old strength, but a ma
jority of the democrats who twice re-
jected Mr.. Bryan for Mr.. Mckinley. Many
of those men are repu blicans now for good
and al, and are Indifferent. SO far as
their own action is concerned, as to whaL
the Denver convention may or may not
Evening star., 1908-01-26
VARIOUS VERSES
ON TIMELY TOPICS
EDDIE fOY'S HAMLET.

Hamlet's soliloquy. Eddie Foy Fitzgerald
might give IL:
To lie or not TO be7 Huily gee! That's the
question;
Whether It's noble. bo. not to set up a tall
scream
When you're stung: or put up a scrap against
II of troubles.
To croak. TO pound the feather, jump In
At the sound OF the gong 60 to IL. kiddo
And forget your trouDes see:
A guy Is sure up against IL in this world;
And IL you jump OF the dock, where do you
come in.
A lot OF boobs put up with it because they don't
Know where they get OF. It's hard luck
For most OF us. SO many things put on the
cheese
Our best friends pan US. a skirt will throw us
down;
Bulls IN harness pinch us. whats the use7
New York sun.
Evening star., 1908-01-26
THE SHAW FLARE-BACK.
From the Cleveland Leader.

From the Cleveland Leader.
Leslie NJ. Shaw says he may re-enter
politics. Politics may have something to
say in the matter first.
From the Buffalo Express.
The existence of differences as to policy
and methods is excuse enough for Leslie
NJ. Shaw leaving the Carneg Trust Com
pany of New York, so long as he could
not buy control of the company.
From the Chicago Record Herald.
Leslie M. Shaw has resigned his S25.OOU
job as president of the Carnegie Trust
Company In New York. Some of our for
mer life insurance presidents W II won
der why he ever consented to work for
such ridiculous wages. anyway.
From the Pittsburg Gazette-Times.
Pittsburg's devoted friend, Leslie NJ.
Shaw after less than year at the hean
of a Now York trust company, has fallen
out with the management. Now for
chamber of commerce resolutions.
From the Columbus Ohio State Journal
The Hon. Leslie M. Shaw apparently
would rather be right than president of
the Carnegie Trust Company, anyway.
Evening star., 1908-01-26
THAT TERRIBLE PLOT.
From the Providence Evening Bulletin.

From the Providence Evening Bulletin.
Naturally the story of the Brazilian an
archists came via Paris. Is that brilliant
city jealous of the fame of Shanghai?
From the Detroit Journal.
Heavens, If Paris hadn't happened to
have her eye on Admiral Evans fleet and
thereby n:pped that dynamite conspiracy
full in the bud!
From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
Having it's fill OF frolic the battleship
fleet is again on its way to the Pacific re-
gardless of the war bureau that is work
ing its fakes overtime.
From the Chicago News.
Let us politely inform our illwishers
that 1t takes more than plot to blow
up the American feet. We have COM
mander on board who eats plots every
morning for breakfast and calls for more.
From the Detroit Free Press.
Fair warning. Anarchists would bet
ter not bother with Admiral Evans while
he sits with a game foot on pillow and
it takes naval squad to change his
clothes.
Evening star., 1908-01-26
The DISAPPOINTED BOY.

I wish / had been born a girl,
pretty girl, like sister Is,
With hair that l could keep In curl,
With hair that l could daily frizZ.
Coz then. when fellers come 10 call,
Id simply have TO sign jes' so:
And wish TO go TO some swell bali
Then sure enough I'd go.
II l was born attractive. like
My sister Is. an had her ways;
! would not have my pa TO strike
For money to go to the plays.
Coz when feller called on me
I'd simply talk about the show.
An mention one I'd like TO see
Then sure enough I'd go.
II could wear a trailing dress.
Like sister does. an peea-a-boos,
For candy I'd not beg, / guess,
Id always get the kind | choose.
Like sister does. with lots of rocks;
Then meet him at the front door, an
Sure enough I'd get a box.
II I'd been born a girl like sis,
To circuses and things Id go;
An not a party would | miss.
So long as | could get a beau;
Then afterward I'D heave a sigh
An mention some cafe l know,
Where they keep dandy apple pie
An sure enough I'd so.
/ wish / wasn't born a boy.
Coz boys for everything must pay;
There's nobody that counts II Joy
To take kid to some cafe.
1t makes no difference how I sigh,
An wish that / could see a show;
Though twenty men were standing by
Nobody says: Lets CO.
There's no one wants to pay my fare,
An no one comes TO CAL on me
Or asks to take ME anywhere.
An there's so much I'd like to see
I wish | wasn't born boy.
For boys don't ever stand a show;
There is SO much ! could enjoy,
If only l was asked to go.
ADetroit Free Press
Evening star., 1908-01-26
Changing the w orId's Course.

A college professor is going to tear a
few pages out of that good old book
Utopia and paste them over the map of
the United Stares. The professor who
means to do this Is not anointed wi h
Standard Oil and is not employed at the
University of Chicago. 1t is the Uni
versity of Missouri that is TO blame. The
news comes in the form OF the following
dispatch from Chicago:
''Prs diction that Americans are soon to
be citizens of the Dream OF Ages and
that our democracy is to ossom into a
Kingdom of Heaven on earth Is made by
Prof. w. b. Elkin of the University OF
Missouri. He has recorded his opinions
seriously In the January number OF the
Evening star., 1908-01-26
THE WORRIER.

I've had to worry about IRE,
Harassed by fears
And thoughts of confagrations dire,
For many years.
For many years I've had to fret
And nothing.s happened to me yet.
I've had to worry about banks
And likewise stocks
Since first admitted to the ranks
OF those with rocks.
I'm thin through worry and regret,
And nothing's happened TO me yet.
st. Louis Republic.
Evening star., 1908-01-26
THEY GO EARLY.

My daughter is a charming maid
Attractive as can be.
Some day I'll lose her. I'm afraid,
Though now her heart is free.
But this is one peculiar thing,
That with that lovely lass
And with her suitors-quite a string
We burn no extra gas.
I do not have to go and shout
A warning down below
Or kick some tardy wooer out
OF doors each night or so.
They come. of course, buD do not stay
Till on the floor l knock.
In fact, they always go away
By half past 10 O'Clock.
More latitude I think I'd give,
For on my girl ! dote,
But then the suburb where I live
Is what you'd call remote.
l do not mind IL. no. indeed!
OF course il seems a sin,
But daughters wooers have TO speed
To catch the last train in.
Chicago News
Evening star., 1908-01-26
DOWN. MERCURYI

The little red sleigh is a litter of dust
All, sad are these habits OF fate ST.
The handsome green bob-sled is covered with rust,
A slluer web hangs Ger tAe skates,
The days they have waited have not been q few,
their patience has been without stint
But how they help IL and what can they do7
For. hang ii, the winter won't wint!
The ice boat has lost Its first youth and its Eest
The snowshoe lies crumbling in cloths
Ihe storm ulster sleeps In the camphorine chest,
lhe tippets been Ell by the moths.
All. me- They have waited since far IS
The reason l scarcely need hint:
For how men snow-shoe and how can men
skate
When never a winter will wint7
Richmond Times Dispatch
Evening star., 1908-01-26
WINTER BASE BALL

Throughout our grand old land
Both east and west
'Tis now the faithful band
Is at its best
Now far and near an earnest drove
Sits winning pennants by the stove.
They talk OF trades and deals
In figures steen
Ana merely quit for meals
Or else 10 sleep.
IL is a game we dearly love-
This winning pennanls by the stove.
Louisville Courier Journal.
Evening star., 1908-01-26
SHOOTING STARS.
BY PHILANDER JOHNSON.
Everybody Laughed.

Perhaps you would feel better" said
the hopeful and helpful person. ''if you
would do something to tighten the hearts
of your fellow men,
That's just what / have been doing"
answered Mr.. Sirius Barker My hat
blew off and / had to chase it two
blocksr'
Evening star., 1908-01-26

ton affecting the legal responsibility
of man or a woman or {. criminal act.
Not only is the spectacle of wrangling at
torneys and divergent expert views de-
moralzing, but the public has lost faith
in the reliability of the existing mode of
seeking the truth. 1t has become pro-
feSsional, and is no longer judicial.
Evening star., 1908-01-26
The DIFFERENCE.

In the days Of old.
When knights were bold.
Their weapons seldom rusted;
When they got through
4 small set-to
Two suits of mail were busted.
In days OF new
4 small set-to
Brings little harm to fighters;
When up they wind
We merely find
A pair Of wrecked typewriters.
Philadelphia Bulletin,
Evening star., 1908-01-26
Often the Case.

Isn't that handsome!" exclaimed the
visitor as she gazed at the new Union
station.
Yes" answered Miss Cayenne Its
depressing to find SO frequently that hand
some buildings and handsome people are
no good except to be looked at"
Evening star., 1908-01-26
SOMEWHERE.

Somewhere there is always something,
Some time there is something done;
Brft oh, were there nothing anywhere,
And nothing ever begun!
The thought slls my soul with sadness.
And hence this ere mournful rhyme:
And | weep because something Is somewhere else
And some time sonse other time.
st Louis Globe Democrat.
Evening star., 1908-01-26
A Factor.

How much will that steak cost?'
We'll" answered the market man, "ow-
ing to the cost of paper, that will depend
very much on whether you want 1t wrap
ped up or not"
Evening star., 1908-01-26
Discredited.

When snow and sleet appear. farewell
Unto that dolt with lungs of.eather,
Who keeps on yearning for a spell
OF good old-fashioned winter weather!
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Man is naturally egotistical," said
Uncle Eben when a little hard luck
hits him. he allus gifts de idea dat he's
Untitled to a heap o. notice as de original
discoyerer of trouble"
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Nearly half a mi.l4on diamonds are cut
each year by one factory in Amsterdam.
At this rate the impoftat.on of jeweIry
from Pittsburg TO Broadway. n. Y.
should proceed without serious interrupt
fion +
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Perhaps that learned judge is quite cor
rect in assuming that full reports Oh the
Thaw case are not likely TO harm any
body with a taste for reading them
through.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

w. J. Bryan of Florida is also an orator
and a debater. In addition to being di-
v;ded on other topics the democratic party
may yet develop different brands of
RrYanism
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Yellow peril experts are stlll Trying u
decide whether the departure OF JAPANESE
from the Pacific coast should be resaroea
as a friendly or an unfrlendly demon
stration.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Reports of the discovery of smoke.
less coal in Kentucky gives new hopes
lor the future appearance of the Union
station.
Evening star., 1908-01-26
NO REPLY EXPECTED.

The sun comes up and the goes down
When his daily is run;
The DAYS are weeks and the weeks stretch out
And what has Congress done?
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Every South American city where the
tleet touches is glad 10 see a warlike
demonstration that does not mean actual
trouble.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Tnr Governor of North Carolina advo-
Gates prohibition. That remark about
its being a long time between drinks
promises to take on new significance. .
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Lawyer Delmas SENS content to retire
without. even limiting that he is entitled
to some credit for Evelyn Thaw's abilities
as witness.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Experiences of John r. Walsh show
that a man may not arrive at Ahanciai
discretion even at the age of three-score-
and-ten.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

1t took very slight financial stringancy
TO convince everybody that tight money
is worse than tainted money.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Senator j. Davis determination TO eject
Mr. Bryan is no less than his resolve TO
annihilate trusts.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

None of Gov. Hughes New York ad-
mirers has yet had the temer-ty TO sug-
gest Mr.. Taft as vice presidential can
didate.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Schmitz and Ruef have been taught by
the aplellate court to have more respect
for the law than they ever felt before.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Grover Cleveland can hardly expect
Congress to take ex-Presidents on its
hands
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-01
NEW ORGANISE
ARRIVES HERE
MISS JUNE COLE, OF ENGLAND,
APPOINTED IN CHARGE OF
CHOIR AT CHURCH OF THE
REDEEMER.

The vestry of the Church of the Re
deemer has appointed Miss June Cole.
as organist and choir director and
Miss Cole has arrived here and en-
tered upon her duties.
Miss Cole is native of New York
city but was taken to England by her
parents when a child where her must
cal education was acquired.
She is is a graduate OF one of the
London Conservatives Of music ami
was organist of Gruy, County of Wlex
ford. for two and a half years and
bears excellent testimonials from
English churchmen and organists. the
organist of st. Thomas church in
New York praises her technique. Miss
Cole was trained in England for choir
teaching and is said to have had mark
ed success in the development Of
boys and mems voices. She has made
a special study of the pipe organ and
is thoroughly conversant with her
work. Miss Cole came to this country
last June and has been sojourning in
KY, since that time.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-01
Juvenile Music Club.

The Juvenile Music Club met yes
terday afternoon with Master Dicl
Barr. at his home on Upper Walnut
street.
The young musicians gave pro
gram as follows:
Lily of the Valley--Dick Barr.
The Lullaby-Virgie Brown.
De Muhle-Ethel Phillippy.
The March--Jeanette Pomeroy.
Halliday March-Lynette Greaney.
The Hunters Horn-Helen Wyman.
Left hand melody in G maior-Char-
lotte Candee.
The Northumberland Halliday.
After the program there were games
and refreshments and a general good
time.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-01
RAILROAD MAN
DIES At HOSPITAL
JOHN HOLLAND COOK PASSED
AWAY AFTER A LONG STRUG-
GLE WITH DISEAsE-FUNER
AL AT VlNcENNEs, IND.

John Holland Cook, an engineer for
the Big Four railroad died yesterday
at 1915 p. m. at st. Mary's Infirmary
after a long period of i'll health due
to kidney disease. He was confined
to his bed for a short time only.
The decedent was 81 years of age
and had resided in Cairo for the past
seven years. having come here from
Vincennes, Ind. He had been employ
, led by the Big Four since 1882 and was
a member of the Brotherhood of Loco
me tive Engineers.
Two sons survive, Frank and Der
nard Cook. The former resides at St
Louis. but arrived here in time to be
at the death bed
The remains are at Feith's under
taking parlors where the body viii BE-
kept until Monday morning when II
win be taken to Vincennes for inter
ment. Members of the y. of l.. f. will
meet the remains at Mt. Carmel and
will go to Vincennes to attend the
funeral.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-01
Ma.rons' Club.

The Matrons' club members and
their husbands were most delightfully."-
entertained last evening at the attrac-
tive home of Mr.. and Mrs. Walter A.
Krebs on Upper Washington avenue.
Mesdames Krebs, H. S. Antrim and
Stephen Bird were the hostesses and
their hospitality was much enjoyed
by all who participated.
Several games OF five hundred.
bountiful luncheon and music were
pleasures OF the evening.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-01
Classes Entertained.

The infant and first grade classes
|of the Sunday school of the Church OF
the Redeemer were entertained In a
happy manner yesterday afternoon at
the residenc of Mrs. C. Fred Gallagher,
200 Walnut street.
7. Kindergarten games, ice cream and
cake and souvenirs of small flags
made an afternoon which will endure
In the minds of the children who are
affectionately devoted to their teacher.
Mrs. Gallagher.
Mrs. Gallagher was assisted In enter
tanning by Miss Emma Kleb and Mrs.
Arthur Thistlewood
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-01

Rev. Dr. l.. G.. Graham and Mrs
Graham, OF paducah, KY, are guests
OF the formers cousin w. II. Lawson
and family OF Upper Washington ave
nue.. DR.. Graham will preach at the
Calvary Baptist church today.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-01

Judge William n. Butler has re-
turned from Marion where he held
court the past week and will go to
Murphysboro Monday to hold an adj
journed session of the January term
OF Jackson county circuit court. He
expects to return to Cairo to hold
court Wednesday and for the re-
lnainder of the term.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-01

The pupils of Miss Emma Wood.
wards ensemble classes gave a recital
yesterday afternoon at the studio.
The program was as follows:
Melody In G Cleft hand
Shadow Dance-Charlotte Candee.
Melody of Love-Engleman; Helen
Schulz.
Solfeggietto-P. Z. Bach; Dorothy
Candee.
Elfn Dance-schytte Norman Fer.
guson.
Festival March--Decevee; Cleo
Carlton.
Hand In Hand March-Rummel:
Jeanette Pomeroy.
The Mill-Ellenberg Marion Can.
dee.
Mignon valse-Deeevee; Margie
Thomas.
yassar Girls waltz-Brownold An
ma Pierce Walsh.
lie Gordale-Reinhold; Hazel Harm
ed.
valse from "Le Cid"-Massanet:
Esmehelda Haberer.
Tarantelle-Coyerly; Lucille Haber-
er.
Sonatine-Clementi: Doris Marx.
Italian Flower Girl-Gaerdeler: No
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-01
Jewish Ladies Aid.

The Jewish Ladies' Aid Society met
Friday afternoon at the Synagogue
and transacted business. Afterward
a social session was held and re.
freshments were served.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-01
Informal Reception.

The ladies OF the First NJ. f. church
will give a coffee at the residence OF
Mrs. B. r. Thistlewood on Tenth
street next Thursday afternoon.
The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-03-01
County Teachers Meeting.

Prof. John Snyder returned yester
day from Cache where he attended a
meeting Of the county teachers. He
returned yesterday afternoon and re-
ported having had a very successful
meeting Heavy rain fell there YES
terday morning.