davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
Feasting the Elect

San Francisco is preparing TO outdo
every coastwise town along the fleets
course in the matter of entertaining
Uncle SANS" sailor boys. Unless that
eity's plans misearry. the outgoing Jour
ney is to culminate there in such a blaze
Of glory as never was dreamed Of in anv
jack taT's philosophy,
That is all very well. and quite as II
should be- Of course. The progress Of the
war ships has been tiresome I'm many re-
spects, we have no doubt. It is a far cry
from Hampton Roads to san Francisco;
but the journey has been spIendidIy made.
From Admiral Evans on down 10 the bot
tom Of the list, the men have covered
themselves with glory have won large
measure Of fame. indeed. They have
been, at every stage of the game. fit for
a 'frolic or a fight Nothing that can be
done for their pleasure in San Francisco
or anywhere else for that matter. will be
reckoned as more than their noble
achievement entities them to-
There is, however one feature of the
festivities as now contemplated that
arouses our apprehension, and that is the
feature to be provided for by the women
upon an early date, officially designated
pie day" It has been calculated that
every man in the fleets company may
have one pie per day during his stay in
San Francisco, if. upon pie day." every
woman in San Francisco viii bake one
pie and turn it over to the general COM
mittee Of arrangements. This the women.
battalions Of them. have agreed to do;
and it is this danger that gives our en-
thusiasm pausei
We do not know that our tackles are
physically fortified TO withstand a sus-
tanned bombardment of miscellaneous and
variously concocted pies!
There are pies and pies in this world:
unfortunately, there are also many near
pies. II such an assortment as this pro-
posed In San Francisco the preponderance
Of misfits and limitations is more than apt
TO be highly excessive. Not all human
beings are constitutionaIIy equipped to
wrestle with pie and alleged pie without
reference TO race, color, or previous con-
dition of servitude! There Is a point IN
variegated pie consumption beyond which
angels fear TO tread as it were. We do
not want to see our gallant tars rendered
hors de combat through the instrumen-
tality of pastry made neither wisely nor
too Well
We believe the matter Of pies for the
feet. IN the emergency upon San Fran
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
Naval pay ard Titles

The naval appropriation bill, reported
with eelerity from the Senate Naval Com
mittee. contains two important provisions.
which viii require the agreement OF the
House if the Senate adopts the commit
tee draft. One contemplates the increase
of pay Of the commissioned personnel of
the navy, so as to give it an equality
with that of the proposed increase in pay
Of the officers of the army, Marine Corps,
and Revenue-cBtter Service. There can
be no question anywhere or by any one
as to the justice OF this provision of
greater pay for the commissioned person.
mel Of the military and naval establish
ments. Some naval officers have been ex-
pressing undue apprehension that their
Interests would be overlooked or ignored
by Congress, and they attributed, UNJUST
iy. it now appears, to the chairman OF the
Senate Naval Committee the determine
ton to make the navy an exception 10
the legislation increasing service pay.
The other important provision in me
bill is that which incorporates Mr. Hale's
plan, long cherished and now further adj
vanced than ever before, of giving staff
oiheers OF the navy titles which viii more
accurately designate their rank and be
identical, grade for grade. with the titles
employed 70 designate line officers of the
same service. It is realized by the un-
preJudiced observer that this distribution
OF titles will do away with the invidious
distinction which now exists between
line and staff officers Of the navy. These
diHerences in titles have led to much
Ill feeling, and there has been so much
opposition TO giving naval star officers So
called line titles that any chance Of
adjustment which will rid the service of
senseless controversy ought to be re-
garded as positively benefcent legislation.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
FIRST BALLOT DANGERS.
Some Unpleasant Historical Re-
minders for Taft Boomers.

niinders Tor Taft Boomers.
From LCslisS Weekly.
Let Mr- Tafts boomers remember. tha;
fate has a feud with the Republican IA
vorite Of the moment who fails to carry
of the candidacy on the first ballot. Sew
ard in 1860, Blaine in 1876, Grant in 1850, and
Sherman in 1855 had long leads at the out
set in the conventions in those years but
lin each case the nomination went to soms-
body else Lincoln won the candidacy in
1861 Hayes in 1916. Garfield in 1850. and
Harrison in 1883 Hayes and Harrison
were far down in the voting on the opening
ballots in those conventions. while Gar
field was not thought OF by anybody in
connection with the candidacy until after
a long contest between Grant. Blaine.
Sherman, Edmunds. and other aspirants.
Blaine, in 1Ss4. was the only Republican
favorite who. falling TO carry the conven-
tion the first ballot. won on a subsequent
division. He led from the start. and get
the nomination on the fourth ballot. and
was beaten at the polls. All the omens.
therefore. are against Mr.. Taft. He is
hardly so much of a popular idol as Blaine
was. and B1aine's fate when he reached
the people was not one that any Presi-
Dental aspirant should anticipate with
satisfaction.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
White-Friend wedding

Special to Tie Washington Herald
Petersburg. Va, April 22-Miss Mary
DunningtOn Friend daughter Of Mrs. Al
fred Friend. was married to-day in the
Market Street Church. to Thomas White.
formerly 0f Petersburg, but now located
in Norfolk The Rev. J. T. Bosnian. the
pastor, oficiated. Miss Ida Valentine at
tended the bride as maid Of honor. Henry
White acted as best man. A reception.
which was limited TO the members of the
bridal party and the out-of-town guests.
was rendered after the ceremony at the
home Of the bride
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
MAKING or A PRESIDENT.

MAKING OF A PRESIDENT.
1903.
Born In shack,
Such was the rule
Hardships a pack;
TTamping TO school.
Solid the lessons they'd into him drum:
Reading and writing and ciphering some.
1908.
Born in a fat.
How can a chap
Overcome that
Fell handicap?
As for the schooling they give to / lad.
Tatting and beadwork just now e the
fad,
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
Dodging Troublesome auesttons.

From the Springfield Repu bean.
While a currency commission will be ex-
cused. the dominant party in Congress
should be warned that a general adoption
of the policy now quite largely followed
by the dominant party in Massachusetts,
Will not be popular. This policy is 10
dodge every troublesome political question
that comes up by referring It to a com
mission until after the election is over.
Even in this state. the Republicans may
stay too long IN such a game.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

cisco. should be turned over TO a COM
mittee Of approved biologists endc lged
with power to act II should be their
pleasure and prescribed duty to see that
come within haiIing distance OF one OF
our boys. Every pie should be fashioned
for glad surprise; and the only way 10
insure that is TO permit their construction
by none save those who know their busi-
ness.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
Miss Alvey Wed. To-dar.

Special to Tie Washington Herald.
Richmond. Va. April 22.-The wedding
of Miss Ida Floyd Alvey, daughter Of Mr..
and Mrs. Edward T. Alvey, to Luther
Thomas Wright viii be celebrated on
Thursday afternoon in the Park Place NJ
f. Church, the Rev. Samuel Colonno off,
ciating. Miss lucille Alvey, sister OF the
bride. will be maid Of honor. Henry II.
George, Jr.. Will be best man.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

il has been heralded as quite a startling
piece Of news by some papers that the
President viii sign the employers la
biiitE bill, as just passed by Congress
Notwithstanding a few ripples on the
surface. it is doubtful II "a great many
people ever seriously doubted he would
do that very thing.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

A Chicago paper says Mr.. Bryan VIII
be defeated if nominated by the Demo-
Gratis and that he will defeat GRAY or
Johnson in case either one of them is
nominated" In other words. no matter
what happens, Mr.. Bryan Is TO be blamed
unless, Of course, the Democrats should
win
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
Sure.

why don't you Join some patriotic
sOciety?"
Not eligible. In time Of war my an
eestors seem to have always taken to
the woods"
THAT ought to get you into a non
deforestatiUn COteTie''
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
That Settles II.

From the Ohio state Journal
When they notice in the esteemed Wall
Street Journal that 100000 $50 spring hats
could be purchased for the price of one
battle ship. there Is no question how the
suffragettes viii stand on the disarma-
ment Issue.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

"As d humorist. Mark Twain is enjoy
ing the situation keenly He saved the
life of d Boston girl, but didn't have TO
marry her saws the Louisville Courier
Journal Incidentally this proves that
truth is stranger than fiction, as has
long been alleged.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
An Evil PRECEDENT.

From the Kansas City Journal
Some one remarks that Gov. Hughes
is young enough to wait, But suppose
President Taft should follow distinguish
ed precedent and insist on naming his
own successor. What better plight would
Hughes be in four or eight wears henceo
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

Dickinson Seminary,
Wiliamsport. After
graduating at law
and being admitted
to the bar, Mr.. Mil
ser wended his way
westward and landed
In Kansas. He set
led in Morris Coun-
ty and entered poll
tics, being elected
county attorney for a
term of two years.
\ AT the tApil q AtbA nA
his term he was re-
elected for another
two years, and again
n 1855. In 1894 he
entered the Kansas
legislature. He has
had the honor Of be-
ing Presidential cleo
tor. and was selected
Dy his colleague 10
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
4 PIauslble Theorx.

why do the tailors display those out
landish fashion plates Of alleged mems
styles?
TO make US pleased with our clothes"
"ffow so?''
BY showing US what they might have
done TO US"
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

If it is love altogether. why is II that
those titled foreigners never fall in love
with American girls that do not have
plenty of money!" inquiries the Atlanta
Georgian. Because it is love altogether
for the revenue there is in it,
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
In an Onera.

I can never. never. never be yours.
caroled the maid
Why not, why not, why not?" warbled
the man.
Because I am a soprano and you are
not ten-o-o-or"
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

The Danyille Register has something
10 say Of the "evil-smelllng water" Of
a neighboTing town. DanviHe Is getting
a little particular about water since the
"drys'' Won out in that late unpleasant
ness down there
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

Rather than comply with the request
or ReV. Mr. Dinger. OF Chickasha. Okla.
that ladies remove their Merry Widow
mats, TWO ladies left the church" SAYS
the Arkansas Gazette. Still we are not
quite sure whether IT was anger ut the
pastor or desire 10 conspicuously dis
play the hats that caused the ladies' de-
parture
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
Enforced Economy.

From the Providence Bulletin
There are complaints Of hard times at a
Sioux Falls. Divorce is one Of the luxu-
ries that the idle rich feel they cannot af-
ford these days.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
The Rift.

"The graft" remarked the CRATER,
''has been very good
Il must have a thousand for a hat"
declared his wife
I knew there'd have to be a rift In
the loot"
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
In Another,s pos.ession.

Prom TIE Fittsburg Leader.
One of the reasons not mentioned by
Judge Gray why he will not accept the
Democratic nomination for President Is
that q man from Nebraska has run away
with IT,
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

1T costs one New York society woman
$4,000 a year TO keep her servants alone. -
says a woman's magazine The remark
able thing about this, however is that
she does manage to keep them, and minus
the usual company"
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
Government hY GaveI.

From the Philadelphia Record
The scepter of almightiness seem Is
have passed temporarily out of the bands
Of the Rough Rider in the White House
into the hands of the Rules Committee of
the House of Representatives. We have
as a result government by gavel.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
Progress In Kansas.

From the Kansas City Times.
At Lindsborg, Kan, when Gov johnson
was introduced last Saturday, every per
sen in the auditorium waved g white
handkerchief. THAT destroys another the
ory about kansas the bandaana .ncory.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

"A man from the State of Washington
went crazy the other day while travelling
through Missouri on a fast train" says
the Richmond Times-Dispatch Still. The
railroads should not be held responsible
for IL; doubtless it was the fastest train
they had.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
testers Clash.

You take down the stovepipe joke
every season. sneered the first humorist
and oil UP the lawnmower Joke"
THAT may be- retorted the second
humorist, but ] don't resurrect the de-
ceased grandmother joke"
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

The price Of meat has been pushed Up
a few notches more. we suppose this is
the beef trusts little way of celebrating
the finish of the Lenten season.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

No matter what may be said of others.
senator Jen' Davis always runs well IN
Arkansas himself" SAYS a contemporary
or that State But does that refer TO pol-
iucs, or the Tom Helm street fight?
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

Just imagine the wife Of six husbands
going to heaven and finding the six hus-
bands there" says the Birmingham Age
Herald. Not being an Edgar Allan Poe
or an H. G. Wells, we can't stretch our
imagination that far.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

Affinity Earle is said TO be contem-
plating a tour for the purpose OF iectnr-
ing on My views on matrimony." The
less said about that subject. the better
for all parties perhaps especially for
EarIAl
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

a Cleveland (Ohio) paper is rather fret
ted with Representative Burton because
that gentleman opposed the four battle
ship business; the ground of opposition
being that the Congressman should have
considered the Commercial advantage"
OF the matter to Cleveland. 1t is fine
testimonial TO Mr.. Burton's character
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
All His Powder Dry,

From the st. Louis Republic.
As Gov. Hughes begins TO open fire
with special messages at Albany, he has
the advantage OF having his entire sup
ply Of ammunition still unexploded.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

A hen walked into a New York police
court a few days ago jumped To in a
chair and laid an egg Real fresh eses
are so scarce nowadays We suppose TO
one had the slightest desire to disturb
her
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
SIN Young. AnnnrentIr.

Simeon. his wife protested. please do
be careful. Remember that you are not
as young as you used to be-"
'Pshaw"' he replied; I'm not getting
old. I have never been referred TO as the
Nestor or the dean of anything"
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
4 Description in Brief.

What kind Of fellow is BinksIey.
anyhow"
Well. I think I can best describe him
by saying that he keeps Lent in his
Wife's name"
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
serions MaIndv.

From the Rochester Post-Dispateh
A Chicago doctor says that an emotion
is a disease. And when it takes a dozen
innings TO decide the game the emotion
comes pretty near to being a fatal dis
ease
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
CAPITOL GOSSIP.

The Fourth district OF Kansas is repre-
sented in the House of Representatives
by James Monroe Miller He was born
at Three Springs. Pa. and graduated from
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
The PronrIetor,s Lot.

That fellow acts as If he owns the
earth. He's so pompous.
A man who owned the earth would
be apt TO be conciliatory. Think of the
kickers he'd have 10 pacify."
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
on Saving.

Prom the Chicago Record Herald.
The man who saves when he has little
is called stingy He that saves when he
has much is said 70 be iudicious
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
Alike.

Working for a living is Ike Shakes
peare's plays-always praised, but avoid
ed as much as possible,
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

Besides, it would be harder 10 and
names for four battle ships" suggests
the New York Mail Still. that was no
good and sufficient excuse for naming
two Of them Dennis"
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

The operations Of Mr.. Edward H. Har-
riman throughout the South may cause
that thriving section 20 wonder If II isn't
getting just a little bit too prosperous for
comfort
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

There is one good thing about the AL
drich bill. You may discuss It In any
crowd without the crowd ever being
quite sure you know what you are talk
ing about.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

I'VE are not sure but what that Browns
vile order was the best thing that ever
happened" says the Detroit Informer
We are not sure that Mr.. Roosevelt and
Mr.. Taft think so, however.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

Two Virginia gentlemen have laid a
wager as 20 the respective inaccuracy
OF their gas and water meters. The one
safe bet is, they will both win.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

If the Photographers Union doesn't pro-
ceed to make Mr. Cake, of Oregon, ia
nous, forthwith and Immediately. we shall
conclude that the bunch is asleep at the
switch
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
There Would be Peace.

From the New York Evening Post
There is trouble between Russia and
Persia on the Caspian frontier. Now, II
We had big feet
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

Mr. John Dalzeil explains that steel
rails sell for s. a ton more in this country
than they do in Europe because we can
aIford 10 pay that price and Europe can't.
Ihere is no use arguing the matter. Mr.
Dalseil Is right there with the logic every
timei
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

The wind never blows right for the man
who doesn't know which way he wants
10 go.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

The Sultan of Turkey is once more pre-
pairing 10 appear before the international
footlights and do his famous bowing- to-
the-lnevitable stunt
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

AcCarren Slows Down" SAYS a head
line in the New York Globe Sees break.
ers ahead. no doubt.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

that he did not permit such consldera-
ton to sway him from what he believed
TO be right!
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
Marked,

/ prefer a hotel 20 2 beanery.
The prices are stiff,
But think Of the diff
In the scenery.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23
Handleapped.
Never.

DO you always whistle at your work."
No. How can I? I'm a glass blower. "
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

In one respect, the John A. Johnson
boom has assumed something OF a forml-
dable appearance. Already the governor
has thought it necessary 10 deny several
interviews"
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

Washington fans were all a-futter yes
teCday.
The Washington herald., 1908-04-23

John II. Pedigo, accompanied by his
wife, is at the Raleigh. Mr.. Pedigo is one
of the leading lawyers in the eastern part
Of Washington State. and is a personal
friend of Senator Ankeny, OF Washington.
81 do not think there is doubt about
the reelection Of Senator Ankeny," said
Dir. Pedigo. we have the direct primary
law in our State now, and the Senator's
name will be presented to the people in
the middle Of September The name OF
Levi Ankeny in Washington signifies honor
and integrity and substantial business
judgment.
In the four years he has been in the
Senate he has secured excellent results
for ene State. The people are sppreciative
Of his efforts.
Senator Ankeny Is one OF the most
modest men I know, From my personal
knowledge I may say that he dlslikes
publicity.
"He has said to me many a time, I
would rather be on the firing line with
the boys and let somebody else carry the
flag. The fact Is he has got plenty OF
people on the firing line for him."
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-03-17

erlcan car arrived In Carroll at 1855 a.
m. aud departed at $3.50 Driver Rob
erts said the roads are improving.
CEDAR RAPIDS. Iowa. March g.
The Italian car In the New York 70
Paris auto endurance contest left here
at $3.50 a. M today The French car
is still here. undergoing repairs.
DEsMoINEs, Iowa, March 3.-The
American car in the New York to Paris
automobile race arrived in Ogden. Iowa
at 6 O'Clock last night and stayed there
all night.
MICHIGAN CITY, Ind, March a.
Alleging that the crew of the second
French car in the automobile race from
New York to Paris, which left here
yesterday morning for Chicago, owed
them S65 for aiding the car between
New Carlisle, Ind, and Michigan City,
several teamsters yesterday had at
tachment papers issued against the
Frenchmen. A constable started by
railway to try to head off The car be-
fore it should get outside the state.
BUFFALO, N. Y, March 3-Captair
Hans Hansen yesterday signed a con
tract with the makers of the American
car entered in the New York to Paris
automobile race to become a member
of the crew of the car in the race anC
will leave here at once to overtake The
car.
LINCOLN, (Neb), March 6.-Mon
tague Roberts, driving the American
car in the New York-to-Paris automo
bile race, tonight reached Ludingtop
Neb, $50 miles west of Omaha, afte
the most successful days run of tn
entire journey from New York. TIT
record for the day was nearly $50 mile
ATKINSON (Kan), March 6.-Th
army automobile, bearing a messag
from GOVERNORS Island, N. Y, to For
Leavenworth, arrived here late thi
afternoon.
!. OMAHA (Neb.), March 6.-The Ital
=. ian car in the New York-to-Paris rae
: is spending the night at Woodbine
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-03-17

Iowa thlriy-slx miles east Of Council
Bluffs
CHEYENNE. tWyoJ. March s.-The
American car. leader IN the New York
to-PaHs automobile race. left Sidney.
Nebraska. where It spent the night at
o'clock this morning and arrived here
at 1915 p. m.
DEKALB, UllJ, March S.--French
car No. and the German machine
reached Dekalb at o'clock this after
noon. Both cars we're delayed by
heavy roads The German car left for
the West at 2:O1 D. m.
OMAHA, (Neb) March S-The Union
Pacific shops have worked on the TIA
liam car all day rolling new springs &c
replace those broken on an Illinois
Central bridge in Iowa Friday The
car hopes 20 proceed in the morning.
The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-03-17
THE MAUI TERM.

w. l.. Whitney, Deputy Attorney
General, and Chester Doyle, Japanese
interpreter, will leave today for Wal
luku to attend the term of Circuit
Court now opening in the Maui capital.
There are nine criminal cases on the
calendar of the Second Circuit Court
opening at Wailuku tomorrow before
Judge Kepoikai Three of the cases
are against X. Yokogawa for criminal
libel. The others are larceny second
degree, selling liquor without license
selling poisonous drugs, malicious in
jury, assault and battery, and gaming
There are nine civil jury cases and
twelve jury waived cases.