Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-10-13
Sal lily "



who really enjoy i'll health.
Before altering her complexion a.
woman always, makes up her mind.
The average married man wastes a.
lot of sympathy on his wife's husband.
Jack-Yes, poor John may have had
his faults, but his. heart was on the.
right side. Wagge-Is it possible? No
wonder he died.
Mistress-You can't entertain your
company In the parlor. Bridget-Oi
can't2 Why, num-, didn't Yez hear him.
laughin' fit TO shpllt2
Il presume this is Lovers Lane"
You forget that ours is a strictly fash
ionable suburb" "Ah?n ''This is, AZ
Unity Avenue.''-Puck.
What makes old Blank so uneasy
when motor car comes al9ng?" why,
his wife ran away In one. and he is.
always afraid, she Is, coming back"
THE man who. wrote Curses, like.
Chickens. come home to- roost-'"
"WellT Must have had different
neighborss from, what I'VE got"-Hous.
ton (Texas) Post.
This gas, bill is, only for 10 cents"
well, sir?' Couldn't you add SIP
I've been writing my wife that I'm,
spending my evenings at home" Lou
isvilla Courier-Journal.
My dear," remarked a gentleman,
opening, the dining room door, 1.-The girl
left the vegetables on the hall table,
Don't be so stupid" exclaimed his,
wife. "That is my new hat"
She-JOhn, what Is stock quota
ton? He (on the wrong side of the
market l-Huht guess A fool and his.
money are soon parted is pretty good.
example.-Boston Transcript.
Mrs, De Style-So your baby girl Is
three weeks old; my, how time flies.
Mrs, Gunbusta-Yes: just think. in
thirty years from now she Will be tSEen-
ty-one years old.-The Sphinx.
You say you read every word Of the
advertisements In that magazinSE'
Yes" answered Miss Cayenne. Its a
relief 80 find something that isn't In
dialect. Washington Cd. c. Star.
She (sternly)-This memorandum I
found in your pocket, Ribbon for the
typewriter" looks black. He (sur-
prised)-Of course it does. It's the ink
Off the old Ones.-Baltimore American.
Mother-What did Mrs. Meaniy give
you for cutting her grass Willie
Nothing. Mother-Why, she pr 'mised
you 10 cents, didn't she2 WiGlfa-Yes,
but used her sickle to do it with and
she charged me 10 cents for the use of
it-Pioneer Press.
"Ill take your damage case" said the
lawyer, helping to his feet the man just
hit by an automobile. "Tha6G you"
replied the victim, I'm not much hurt.
but recognized that measly chauffeur.
He may have a case for You later
Philadelphia Public Ledger
Englishman Gin British Museum)-
This book, sir, was once owned 10y
Cicero. American Tourist-Pshaw!
that's nothing. Why, III one Of our
American museums we have the lead
pencil Noah used to check off the ami
mails as they came out of the ark
Tit-Bits.
What seems to be the matter with
Mrs. Brown? She's aillng So" "Yes,
poor thing, she's got one of those new
tangled diseases" "She has? My, how
fortunate she is, to be sure. Here I've
had nothing more stylish than lumbago
and I'm three years older than she is"
Detroit Free Press.
HAS that girl next door to you still
got her parlor melodeon" mo, she
exchanged for a. cornet, I'm glad to
say" But, gracious, If she plays tho
cornet that's worse, isn't it?'' Not at
all. It's only half as bad. She can't
sing while she's playing the cornct, -
Philadelphia Press.
Old Lady-My little boy, have you
TO better way to spend this beautiful
afternoon than by standing about iding
away your time? Boy amt idllng
away my time! There's Mr. Rankin
son inside making love to my sister, and
he is paying me slxpence all Aour to
watch for pa.-Chips
Policeman Ito tenant VI 1at)--And
you say the rug was stolen from your
hall. Can you give me any particulars
of it? Tenant (nervously)--Oh, yes.
1t was a fancy reversible rug-red on
one side and green on the other. Po-
liceman Qmpresslveiy) - All - and
which was the green side ?-Punch.
81 want to put an ad In your paper"
said the weary-looking man. Make It,
Wanted, a situation; any old job"
Shall 1 say, wages no objectT" sug-
gested the clerk. "No, make it object.
matrimony.' If l could get acquainted
with a decent job I'd be willing to mar
nv 1t for life."-The Catholic Standard
and Times.