The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-08-14
THE HONEYMOON.
: Sosssssssoooessesssss


1t seems strange. considering al
the honeymoon experts there are,
that no one has as yet volunteered
to give a few simple directions as tt
the manner In which a honeymoon
should be conducted. Let us do thii
at once. in order that all those goint
on honeymoons may reap the bene
fit.
After securing what in your opin
ion is a desirable person TO take OF
a honeymoon. go at once to youi
bank and make as large a loan a,
possible. Remember, there are two
kinds of loans-call and time.
A call loan is one which is likely
to be called when you least expect 1t
Avoid, therefore, any appearance Of
q call loan on your honeymoon. WheL
you are sitting with your loved one
under Niagara Talls. holding hands
under your rubber overcoats and
having your throats sprayed while
you gaze through the fog at trusty
eyes upturned to your own. It Is ex.
tremely annoying to have baub
messenger tap you on the shoulder
and tell you that all is over. Make
q time loan. therefore, and make n
as long as possible. Have II cover
not only the period OF your honey
moon. but the rest of your married
life as well. This will save you tn,
trouble of renewing 1t from time tc
time.
The next point 10 consider Is the
place. or places, you will visit OF
your honeymoon, and should be ar
ranged in the following manner,
Make out a list Of all the possibl,
places to visit. Do this alone, un.
aided and In secret For this is an
important matter. and your judg'
ment needs to be clear. When you
have finally selected the 1Sacf sbo,
to visit, break the news to your com.
panion and arrange at once to go tc
the place selected by her family ant
herself, at the same time doubling
the amount of your loan.
Rapidly but unostentatiously leav
Ing the hired hack at the railroad
statio<, and shaking the rice out o.
your clothes, you should at once con
duct your bride to her seat in the
parlor car in full view Of all the
passengers.
You will then begin at once to pass
her water from the tank in front.
Every bridegroom passes his lovet
one q glass of water from the tanh
at least every fifteen minutes durint
the first round.
Do not smoke for the first week
No man can do his best work with
a cigar In his mouth. Besides. 1t /!
a waste OF good tobacco.
Arriving at the hotel you have
corresponded with. take the CLERK
aside confidentially and tell him you
secret. He will appear surprised ant
embarrassed. but do not let this dis
the bridal suite. When he informs
you that this has already been ar
ranged for, do not reproach him witt
deceit. Remember that he has onl,
done this to spare your feelings.
Adopt n frank, hearty. bluff man
ner toward your bride in the pres
ence OF others. Always bear in mine
that you did not originate the honey
moon idea, and that no blame foi
your actions should be attached t.
you. This thought should sustain
you at all times. Hold her hant
freely, call her the usual name, ant
in general act as IL you didn't realiz'
that you couldn't get away from hei !
In lifetime.
No matter where you go, alway |
buy your return tickets. This vii
insure your getting back home with
out cabling your father-in-law.
To cable your father-in-law OF
your honeymoon Is extremely bae |
form. 1t may handicap you later
when you really need the money
From Life.