davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11
30


Witnesseth he has just issued an edict
or pronunciamento or something to the
effect that the bu-chee-ous young crea-
lures shall not walk adown the streets
from their hotels to the brink OF the
mazarine sea diked out in their bathing
suits.
Isn't that being an inconsiderate aIcalde
on the part of Mr.. Stoy? l think so.
What cant he figured out, either. is why
the mayor has just now woke up. 10
speak. about the lovely young beings
walking down the streets to the water in
their bathing suits. They've been doing
it for yahs and yahs. as Miss Charlotte
Walker would say. and no precipitate
mayor anybody else said them nay or
said them anything else. They Just did
it. that's all. and we all lined up on the
balconies and porticoes and piaZzas and
such like and regarded their stroll down
to the drink. dilsed out hathaway. as
something distinctly all right. and We ap-
proved of 1t. and waited for it. and looked
upon 1t as part of the doin's. and grew To
expect it-and here comes the alcalde OF
the Appian Way with an edict saying
that If they want to go down to. the water
from the hotels and cottages in their
bathing suits. why. they've got to wear
cloaks over them-and it's wonder he
didn't specify pongee cloaks. and de-
scribe just what kind of pongee cloaks
could be employed, and SO on.
Now the beauteous young things are
wearing clOakS in conformity with the
edict. but they keep the skirts OF the
cloaks raised to about the height of the
bottom of the bathing skirt. and we are
here to observe that the effect thereof Is
a heap more-er-well, whatever you
might call it-than il they went right
down to the water without any cloaks
covering 'em partially, at all.
STILL the busy little Mayor Stoy could
not, naturally. have been expected to
apprehend any such an apprehension as
this.
oh, well, even mayors can make mis-
takes. and after Mayor Stoy has watched
the effect Of this new thing for little
while maybe We'll have one of those cam
ceiling edicts.
CLARENCE l.. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11
-x)


people are taken care OF. and everybody
in bathing toys rushing around to look
on while the kids wound was being
dressed. and there was tremendous ex-
element. The dog. all bruised up, was
tied by rope to one of the tent stakes.
and he looked hang-dog and guilty and
miserable. and his eyes had hauntv
look after all that Robbery that had
been kicked up about the thing. naturally
enough. The proprietor OF well-known
Atlantic City hotel was the owner of the
dog, and he turned up hour or so
later and pleaded for the dog. saying
that he was a pet and a well-behaved
animal. and that there was nothing the
matter with him. But II was no CO. and
they put bullet in the beautiful ami
mails brain soon as the bathing crowd
left the sands.
That's the real story underlying the
junk you read about the mad-dog' scare
at Atlantic City. with the mad dog
frothing at the mouth. racing up and
down the beach biting folks right and
left. and all like that. 1t was. as / say,
a perfectly characteristic 'mad-dog' af-
fair. and I've added 1t to my considerable
collection of incidents of a like character"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

fore. for future consideration-and he had
squatted himself right below the pavilion
where l was sitting to enjoy the bone. He
chose a spot for himself away from where
any bathing folks were lounging. He
didn't want to butt in on humans while
they were lolling. and at the same time
he wanted to be by himself a-plenty while
in the enjoyment of his bone. The dog
was perfectly calm and healthy. His eye
was as clear as crystal, and there wasn't
a thing on earth the matter with him, ex
cept that he wanted to enjoy his bone. He
figured that the bone belonged to him.
and he was there to do to the bone what
dogs generally do to 'em.
THE little -year-old girl that you
read about as being bitten advanced upon
the dog while he was in the midst of his
bone fun. She had detached herself
from her mother. who was sitting little
distance away on the sand with some
children The young one had a stick In
her hand She bore down upon the squat
ting dog with the stick appraised. That
was all right. The dpg looked up from
his bone. and he made no demonstration.
He didn't even look peeved about It. He
had it doped out perfectly, of course, that
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

her heavy stick, and this time the dog
was sure sore about it. He pulled his
head up with jerk and he barred his
teeth at her and he let out good rum
bling growl. He wanted to be let alone.
I'm going to tell that kids mother to
pull her young 'un away from that dog
or there'l be some bother around here.
said the man sitting alongside of ME, and
that's what he did.
'He got sat down upon for his pains. He
stepped up to the mother Of the little girl
and raised his hat courteously and he
told her that perhaps it might be good
thing for her to call her little girl away
, from the setter dog, explaining why.
about the bone and all that.
She's doing no harm said the won-
an in reply, in a measley tone. is it
your dog. that you're SO coddling of him
If he's yours. why don't you take him
off the beach? And what right have you
to tell me what 1 shall do with my chill
dren?'
What could the man do after. a sting
ing like that? Nothing. of coufse. He
turned pretty red. though. and then he
joined me back on the bathing pavilion.
'.Just about half minute after he'd
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

all raved their swear-offs in just the same
way and words
Some other place for them next year.
for a sure thing. Yes indeedy! Up in the
mountains maybe, or by some lake. or in
a camp, perhaps, or in some quiet little
seashore place. where there wasn't all
that mob: or out in the country on a
sure-enough farm. when il came to that
oh. any old place 'ceptin' Atlantic City.
That they were for-sure determined upon.
Yaas'm. deed they were, Because. you
see. what the dickens was there to do at
Atlantic City except everlastingly p'rade
and prade ?-etc.. etc.
But the Atlantic City swear-offs. most
of 'em, are already here. and the rest
are nudging this way or preparing to
execute that nudge.
Most of them. of course, really meant
il when they swore off on Atlantic City.
They were. they said they were.
honestInjun aweary of the everlasting
up and down, etc.
The majority Of them got to the length
of figuring on other summer places. To
that end they obtained armfulS of book
let's and things.
They reckoned. so they did. that. ye-eh.
the Thousand Islands ought to be the
right place for them-1ook at those gor-
juss pictures-did you ever see such al
lureful pictures in all your Dawn days?
Others reckoned that the Adirondacks or
Catskills would suit 'em this season-the
booklets they had bearin' on and apper-
taln1n TO the CatskliiS ana AdlrondackS
were stuffed full of the most ravishing
scenes. in cclors. too. Others Sort Of
doped it out that the Maine coast, or the
Maine inland region, ought to be great
relief from Atlantic City, with its ever
lasting ur-and- downing. And so on.
Yes yes; the Atlantic City swear-offs
Just raved and raved about the other
places. the something different places,
that they positively intended to make
this year instead of coming down here
TO the everlasting. etc.
But they're here, most of 'em, and the
others will be.
Why?
Oh one doesn't know. one doesn't. The
most reasonable theory is that Atlantic
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

sat down again we noticed that the
little girl was STOPPING over the setter
and making grabbing motions as II to
take the bone away from him. The dog
was barring his teeth at her. holding the
bone tight between his two paws. 1t
was serious situation that both of US
on the bathing pavilion jumped to our
feet at the same instant to run down to
the sand and shoe the kid away from
the dog But we were too late. We had
barely got to our feet before the thing
happened.
1.-THE young one made one dab too
many for the settlers bone. She reached
down and actually got hold of the big
soup bone-when. like flash. the dog.
exasperated beyond all canine patience.
darted his head out and caught the
child's nose between his teeth He was
sore, too. and he held on. 1t was horri-
BILE, Of course. the little girl screaming.
the blood and all that The dog let go
after about half a minute or so, and by
that time he was being kicked and beaten
and belabored with clubs by some hun
dreds of men in bathing suits. The little
girl was picked up and hustled to the
camp on the beach where half-drowned
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

Cine on-let's go to Atlantic. hey?''
That's what I was sort of thinking.
promptly replies the party Of the second
part of the sketch. tickled foolish to find
that her views as to the doubtfulness of
the other places are shared by the
other protector of the enterprise-and
down to Atlantic City they troop, and
pretty glad to find the saline breeze In
their countenances at that.
They stick around for the entire length
Of their vacation. fairly live on the Board
walk. and then go away vowing and VOW
ing some more that it's all over with At
lantic City SO far as they are concerned.
Then they come back next year, as
usual. Ever notice it work out just like
this?
The Atlantic City swear-offs are hereby
forgiven. The writer hereof feels eX-
ceedingly tolerant toward them. for he is
one of the habitualest little Atlanti, city
swear-offs himself now resident i'll North
America, and he ought to know something
as to the spirit that actuates 'em.
A LONG. long time ago I dubbed the
{ \ Atlantic City Boardwalk the great
Appian Way of the sea. I considered
that rather tasty, even though nobody else
came right out. just like that. and said
SO. But It's more the great Appian Way
Of the sea now than it ever was. Once
there was a crazy man who, not knowing
the place, came down TO Atlantic City TO
get away from everybody he knew. OF
course in the course of one evening, he
met about everybody on earth that he
knew on the Boardwalk. and he became
crazier still-so. at least, the legend hath
it. And / believe the legend.
Because, you know, If you're engaged in
doing any little old thing that you
wouldn't care the folks back to hum know
all about-not that you would, understand.
but merely for instance-why. certainly
the Boardwalk of Atlantic City is not the
place wherein TO do that same. Because.
YOU see. it's the cinciiest thing that you
ever heard of in all your born days that
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

how" he called down over the stairs to
Mrs Jobson.
I'm sure / don't know" called back
Mrs. Jobson, Where did you put it after
you wore ii LAST"
We'll. If that question isn't like the
female species. then I'll eat all the trav
cling caps from here to Beloochistan and
back grumbled Mr.. Jobson clomping
down the stairs SO as to confront Mrs.
Jobson. IF I knew where I left that
cap after / wore it last. what dye think?
Dye s'pose I'd go right to the place
where / left 1T and get a half-Nelson
on it, or do you imagine that. as soon
as clapped eye on it. I'd run away from
it as If it were giant firecracker or a
Black Hand bomb? What's your idea.
anyhow, in pulling these useless interro-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

IN the sunshine and a slender silver
mounted initiated cane swinging between
the initial and middle digits of his left
lunch hook. when a newspaper friend and
erstwhile colleague blew up behind MN.
How" said the newspaper man. Just
going to lunch. Won't you come along
Guess I've got the price for two"
Pawdon me- said Smith, but " here
are YOU thinking of lunching"
Why. at the Quick and DIRTY. o.
course" said the newspaper man. In some
amazement "Where'd YOU think l was
going. the St. Regis"
1 just inquired" remarked Smith. as
ne swung his cane a trifie more to the
right. and / regret l cannot accompany
You. Those crude lunch places strike
me as-er-quite insanitary. Resides. |
am taking my meals at the New Willard
now. Ia ta.''
OH, but I'd just love to tell what the
newspaper man said.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

C~iouS and all that stuff Makes you
feel as if you're riding in a private car
with rncy name picked out by your
wife for the same painted on the side
thereof in gilterino letters. And, when
yo- let it sink into your system, they
.es' amt anything in this world of
dreams much finer than riding in your
own private car up and down and crisis
cross Of the earth. now is there?
When ] climbed aboard of the sleep
ing car at Lake Placid station. on the
Delaware and Hudson line. away up I'm
the Adirondacks. a few evenings ago. J
began to look at my watch. l thought
maybe I was away ahead of time in
making the train. There wasn't anybody
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

AYBE You read In
the papers the
other day about a
mad dog scare
down in Atlantic
City-how the mad
dog. as the scare
headlines told il.
seized upon a little
girl and nearly bit
her nose off, and
how there was a
panic on the Allan
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

tic City sands, and a lot of that kind of
stuff said a Washingtonian just back
from the Boardwalk town by the sea.
Well. that was one characteristic mad
dog scare. and ii was just about of a
piece with every other mad dog scare
that ever | happened to witness in any
part OF the country. and I've seen heap
OF those fool things. e
II saw the whole 'mad-doS affair at
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

an illustrated column just so ouuiu
print photographs Of the two, size ny sue,
Somebody suggested the other Gay tha.
as the summer time is Mr.. Han1oru on
season. that William Jennings bryan'
after his inevitable nomination al Denter'
couldn't possibly do better IMAM eihpioE
the actor to 1mpersonate HIM curing 'he
campaign. In that way the PeeIiess
could cover twice as much ground: make
twice as many stump speeches. dii" INA ne
twice as many people happy.
@NCE upon a time Smell smith was
~ newspaper man. At any rate ne
got a salary from his paper for inc III
personation. In those days Mr.. Snith De
haved like any other down loWiS ana
downtrodden copy chaser. He loped
around in search of news, elusive anu
otherwise, wrote stuff accurate ana othef-
wise and caught his meals on 'he ny
He wasn't at all averse to galloplnS mo
a three-cent lunchroom. sinking MS mo
lars in day-before- yesterday MARYLAND
biscuit. sluicing out bis lunch chu'e
with a draft of near-milk ana hus'h"s
out again to make going-to-press anu
other connections.
But how times have changed. NOV
Smell is one of Mr.. Taft's hired men.
'Tother day Mr.. Smith was drifting
slowly down the street, his teeth sunk IN
the cold end of a three-for-fifty havana
import, his patent leather kicks giistenihs
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

A fFRED ANGUS EARLY. who is prin-
cipaly famous for the fact that
When he whispers cut glass and other
delicate articles aren't safe within forty
root radius. is claiming credit for the
nomination of James Schoolcraft Sher-
man of New York for the vice presidency.
II done it, said ALI to bunch of
newspaper men and politicians the other
day. 81 can prove that opened the box
OF Sherman buttons In the Cannon head
quarters and gave away the first one.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

IEY'RE all here.
Those that are not
here are on their
way. or will BE-.
Who? Why, the
Atlantic City swear
offs.
How's that? You
don't know who
the Atlantic City
swear-ofYs are? You
don't?
Well. we'll, Then j
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

ID You ever have
Il whole sleeping
car all to yourself
for a nights ride -
inquired the jowly
man with the peel
] n g nose. Be
cause. if you've
never had that ex-
perience, I'm here
to observe that it's
pretty soft. Pref
ty roomy. Pretty
spacious. expa n
sive. breezy. lux
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

2 JOBSON ar
ranged to make q
little business trip
out of town one day
early in the week,
and on the fore
noon of his depar-
ture he began rum
maging around for
his travelling gear.
Say, where the
dickens is t h q t
checked travelling
oaN ~ ptrn aruy
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

torn off yard or two of highly Gull
tured elocution. which was heard fully
three feet from the spot on which he
was standing while talking. and the next
human incident on the program advanced
To the front. Incidentally. Uncle Joe had
no printed program, or at least hadn't
looked it over
He caught sight of the scheduled and
advancing parsonage. and his face was a
sight L" see. His jaw dropped until it
bounced up and down his elderly
chest. his eyes fevolvcd like pin wheels
and he stuck out one hand in dazed
sort of way.
Jumping grasshoppers: he said. or
words to that effect. chow in the name
of pinwheels and firecrackers can William
Jennings Bryan be in Lincoln. Neb., and
Washington, D. c., at one and the same
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11
CR reverend friend.

r. reverend friend.
Uncle Joe Cannon.
Speaker of the
House Of Repre-
sentatives, had the
shock of his young
life on the Fourth
Of July, while at
tending the exer-
C s e S attendant
upon the opening
of the new Mu-
nicipal building.
Some distinguis he'd
citizen had just
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11
,obody had ever thought of Sherman be

Nobody had ever thought Of Sherman be-
fore that.
Mr.. Early could add with truth that he
distributed %, 600 Sherman boom buttons
in less than two days. and that most OF
them he personally pinned on folks coats
1t made no difference to him wheiher the
pinee was q sherman man or falroanks
man or a Cummins man or what other
kind Of a man. He went right on pinninS
inst the same When he found partic-
ularly obstreperous partisan who would
have none of his lapel and button WORK
he waited until said obstreperous par
tisan had turned around. and Then STUCK
a couple of buttons on his back.
Alfred Angus is one OF our leading
workers.
7 WAS scanning the New Willard regis
/ ter tother evening while the nigh
clerk was chatting with friend.
Say" said he. ''see that bug Owe
there? He's from Oklahoma. That mus
be q grand state. He blew in this even
ing, registered and asked for a ROOM
Room with bath?' says L.
Nav" says he is reply. I'm onl,
going to stay three days. and / amt &c
no call to do general washing. Make i
a window instead
took a good look at the gentleman
from Oklahoma. I'm not certain, but
think he had been dry cleaned. Anyhow
he looked like gasoline smells.
A REPUBLICAN member of Congress
"A passing through Washington on hi
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-07-11

Oh. he said. he'd been hearing about
the Atlantic City Boardwalk ever since he
was as big a bees knee and par
ticularly since the annexation. and So or
this run up to the states, he'd decided to
see that same much talked-about Board
walk, and there he was.
Great. isn't it?'' I said to him. with
intentional malevolence. knowing full well
that nobody from Hawaii. or who has
ever lived in Hawaii, can ever by the re-
hottest chance appreciate any other sea
water than that turquoise drink which
laps Hawaii's fronded shores. Just like
Honolulu, and the Waikiki beach. and
Pearl Harbor. and Lahaina, and the rest
of the Hawaiian water fronts. isn't it?''
/ hate to have folks look at me SO re-
proachfully as that kanaka gentleman
did then.
II have been here three hours, and
have seen the Atlantic City Boardwalk
and l am beginning my return to Homo
lulu tonight" he replied. with the Ka-
naka nostalgia all but dribbling out OF
his big brown eyes. and l thought his
reply was pretty eloquent. It's a grea,
old Boardwalk. all right enough; but
mercy on us and gracious sakes Alive and
things. doesn't 1t lack repose and what
we call. for lack of a better word at
mosphere.'
MAYOR sToY is one Of the loveliest
IVA little, etOdgy little mayors this
cityette by the sea ever had, or ever will
have Fact is, maybe Atlantic City never
will have any other mayor than Stoy-
for it really seems to me that Mayor
Stoy has been Mayor Stoy ever since
was a little bit Of boy. and that wasn't
last Tuesday week. either. Mayor Stoy
has got the getting-the-job thing sewed
ND down here just about as President
Diaz has his little stay-wfth-it arrange
ment on. the other side of the Rio Grande.
However. that isn't what I started to
say beneath that last mess of asterisks.
1 started to say that, howsoever good a
times does cruel things.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-02-24
Church and Clergy.

Rev. william Hurlin, aged ninety
three years. preached recently at the
Antrim Presbyterian church. He Is
doubtless the Oldest minister. who on
that day preached from New Hamp-
shire pulpit
Il see no reason says Rev John l.
Scudder OF Jersey City. why the face
Of a Christian should be as long as that
Of horse. Personally | intend to get
all the legitimate fun out Of life that |
can, and get good deal Of itg
The Second Congregational church at
Falmouth, Mass, built in 1921, was
turned end for end twenty years later
to get bequest Of $4,000 left by a
member who did not like the way the
church stood, and monument has
now been erected with an inscription
stating these facts
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-02-24
To sEIL on ExcnANar

Inquire at the above agency, Bolster Block,
Barre, Vt 280tf
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-02-24
Sporting Notes.

Alfred Vanderbilt is selecting trot.
tiers for use on the Venture coach in
England. He bought Fifteen recently.
Jack Thorney. for whose release tho
Boston Americans have paid $500,
was the leading slugger Of the Eastern
league.
Terry McGovern now claims the dis
tinction Of giving the name OF tom
my Burns to our illustrious champion
heavyweight
The GOT active tracks In membership
OF the American Trotting association
held TO meetings last year. offering
So, 150,915 in purse money.
Richard Croker has nominated the
three-year-old FLY Rhodora. his entry
for the classic races for three -year-olds
In England. for the Ascot Gold cup, one
Of the great races OF England for ma
ture horses.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-02-24
DANES AND DAUGHTERS.

Miss Emma Wittle Of Mannheim.
Pa, dreamed that her brother had ex-
PRED and learned later that he had
died on the street at Reading.
Mrs. Betty yevey Of Worcester,
Mass, who says she is ninety six years
old, peddles bluing. walking from three
TO I'VE miles daily. she was born
slave.
Mrs. Russell Sage has purchased
new residence at GOA Fifth avenue
New York city, for 100000. The pres
ent Sage residence will be converted to
business uses.
Mrs. Robert Van wyck, wife Of an
ex-mayor Of New York, is initiating
Paris society into the teachings Of
Vedantic philosophy so familiar to
New Workers, but unknown to the Pa
rislan smart set
The prettiest woman in America, ac-
cording to Burne~Jones, is Mrs. War
rem 9. Fairbanks. the wife Of the vice
presidents eldest son. AS the Burne-
Jones type Of woman is very much the
rage just now, Mrs. Fairbanks has rea-
son TO be much battered with the not
ed painters approval.
For long time it has been expected
that Mrs. J. L. Gardner OF Boston
would provide by legacy that the IA
nous Gardner collection shall go to the
Museum OF Fine Arts, but instead 1t is
understood she will provide for the
perpetual maintenance of the Fenway
museum as a separate Institution.