davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24
An Inglorious Wound.

On one of the volunteer ranges in the
north is well-known old Irish sergeant,
who has charge. 1t may be mentioned
that he went through three wars-the
Crimean, the Indian Mutiny, and the
Chinese-and during the whole of that
time never received q single wound.
Old W, as he is called, occasionally
acts as marker at the targets, and his
utter recklessness has become prov
erb.
He has been known to walk forth from
behind the mantelet without the slight
est warning, and touch up bullseye
which did not quite satisfy him, or to
note the exact position of shot:
contemptuously.
ME be shot? Me?" he would ask.
why, I've bin, through three war r--ss,
and was niver shot yet. Pah! Phwat's
a bit O. led flying through the ARP and
he would assume an air of disguest.
1t actually occurred, however, at last,
and he was shot through the shoulder.
For moment. as frequently happens
with rifle shots, such is their terrible
force, he did not know he was struck;
then, when he observed the blood stream
ing down his sleeve, he commenced to
walk down the range, right in the line
of fire.
1t was seen that something was wrong,
and they hurried to meet him. AS he did
SO he tottered and had to be carried.
"Shotn' he groaned, with a look of
shame. "Shot, and by a Saturday after
loon soldierp'-Tit-Bits.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24
7 he
General Demand

of the Well-Informed of the World has
always been for simple, pleasant and
efficient liquid laxative remedy of known
value; laxative which physicians could
sanction for family use because its COM
ponent parts are known to them to be-
wholesome and truly beneficial in effect,
acceptable to the system and gentle, yet
prompt, in action.
In supplying that demand with its ex.
cellent combination of Syrup of Figs and
Elixir of SIENNA, the California Fig Syrup
Co. proceeds along ethical lines and relies
on the merits of the laxative for its remark
able success.
That is one of many reasons why
Syrup of Figs and Elixir of SIENNA is given
the preference by the Well-Informed.
To get its beneficial effects always buy
the genuine-manufactured by the Cali
fornia Fig Syrup Co., only, and for sale
by all leading druggists. Price fifty cents
per bottle.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24
FROM FUTURE SCHOLARS.
Misunderstood Questions and Some Re
markable Replies to Them.


The London university correspondent
prints some diverting mistakes from the
school room. For example:
Shakespeare wrote a play called The
Winters Sale"
The Crusades We're a wild and savage
people until Peter the Hermit preached
to them.
The chief crops of England are corns,
the chief exports are Liverpool, South
ampton and the River Thames.
Shakespeare is indebted to Sir Oliver
Lodge for the plot of ''As You Like It."
The modern name for Gaul is vinegar.
Q.-Annotate ''Those little Gates which
the ravens administered to the Tishbite."
A.-The ''es' ending in Gates has now
been contracted to IS
A volcano is hole in the earth's crust
which emits lavender and ashes.
The Battle of Trafalgar was fought on
the seas, therefore it is sometimes called
the Battle of Waterloo.
1.-The Complete Angler" is another
name for Euclid, because he wrote all
about angles.
President Roosevelt invented short
hand.
A roadstead is a roadside cottage or
farmhouse.
The two races living in the north of
Europe are Esquimaux and Archangels.
The King carried his sepulchre in his
hand.
The Rhine is boarded by wooden noun
tains.
On the low coast plains of Mexico yel
low fever is very popular.
In the year 1893 every parish was
made responsible for the supply of its
own deserving poor.
During the Interdict the dead were
buried in uncreated ground.
Chaucer lived in the year 13OO-14OO.
He was one of the greatest English
poets after the Mormons came to Eng
land.
An unknown hand threw a harrow at
Rufus and killed him dead on the spot.
Adverbs ending in where are some
where, nowhere, earthenWare.
Stirling was famous for it's soverelgns,
who used to be crowned there. A sOver-
eign is still called pound stirling"
A volcano is a burning mountain with
a creature in it.
Subjects have a right to partition the
King.
Alfred Austin was chosen by the
Queen as Poet Laureate He said IF
you let me make the songs OF the nation,
| care not who sings them"
The Electrical Prince of Bavaria
claimed the throne of Spain.
During the reformation every clergy
man was compelled to receive thirty-nine
articles.
Some of the West India islands are
subject to torpedoes.
The imperfect tense is used Tin FRENCH
to express a future action in past time
which does not take place at all.
Beckett put on a camel-air shirt and his
life at once became dangerous.
Arabia has many SyphOonS and very
bad ones; it gets into your hair even
with your mouth shut.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24
Flowers at Funerals.

A clergyman who conducted the serv-
ices at a funeral on the east side last
week caused a mild sensation and, for
the time, made the mourners forget their
loss by speaking Of the foolish display
of flowers" He said that the effort to
ape the rich people in this custom was
as reprehensible as it would be to fol-
low them in dress. Il have come to be
with you when you take leave of the
Dead" he said, 'but l speak to the liv-
ing, and ask you to remember that there
are places in the world where death no.
tees state also that no flowers are want
ed and ask that the money which would
have been spent for them be sent to char
liable institutions" The sentiment evil
IDENTIFY found favor in some minds, for an
extract from a sensible sermon made
from memory" was sent to all the east
side publications.-New York Tribune.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24
HONEST DOCTOR
AN nVTSED PE-RU-NA.

SYLVESTER E. SMITH, Room
MI r. ~ y Granite Block, St. Louis Mo.'
wv Il0' .peruna is the best friend .
PICK NV Nv months ago Lcame here in .
"a -" condition. Exposure and
vre'0NoI had ruined my once robust
dsm mp had catarrhal affections OF
beai'n. ,nl,iai tubss, and for time there
tne D u doubt as to my recovery.
vas 'a,S. zoo GOOD honest old doctor advised
IVY IKE ! Peruna, which I did and in
ns " ~ time my health began to inn
sno'' verv rapidly, the bronchial
prov S,s gradually disappeared, and in
sfo.D months my health was fully re-
S' % o"ent grateful mans thanks for
:. .ostoration to perfect health"
bis 10 pe-ru-ra for His Patients.
W Perrin, NJ. D. s., $50 Halsey
! o. - Brooklyn, N. Y, says:
o' w. IN or3 nstng your Peruna myself, and
ixacommending it to my patients IN
s VI, a aosoo of cstarrh, and find it to be
al 81, sa than you represent. Peruna can
luo hod now of all druggists in this sec
Ds 40" At the time 1 began using it, it
u,os unknown"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24

which he most priced. When this great
soldier, whom no fortunes of war had
ever daunted, succumbed to his Wifes
ceaseless persecution and lay palsied and
dying, his duchess released some of her
temper upon the physician in attendance
and was known to follow him to the door
swearing with a f1uency which Mortified
DR.. Garth.
Vanbrugh, architect of Blenheim castle.
was wont to call its duchess that wicked
woman of Marlborough She kept him
constantly seething in her wrangles, for
besides t1O,OOo to spend upon Blenheim
her good lord had bequeathed her an addi-
tonal tl2,OOO year ito keep herself
clean with and go to law" of which lat
ter permission she was prompt to avail
herself. Her loving husband had meant
no aspersion upon her in the first clause
of this bequest. In those days great
ladies wore fine clothes till they became
much soiled and then cast them away.
Compare what the old duke accomplished
with the record of the present duke and
you may learn the value of a shrewish
wife.
At one time England kindly permitted
men to sell their wives, for there were at
that time courageous hearts to be found
willing to attempt the tanning of shrew.
Found Peace in War.
There was also in use "scold's
bride" made of metal bands, which
held the tongue so that it could not
move. Strange to say, the name of a
man with foolhardiness enough to apply
this device has never been published,
and its inventor thought best to conceal
his own identity.
The married man who said he event
to the Mexican war to have peace"
only initiated the eloquent French advo-
cate PASSOVER, who exclaimed: ''To have
peace | am ever obliged to be at WARP
1t was his wont to drown his wife's
angry voice with the thunder of his own.
The Earl of Shrewsbury, who was liv-
ing apart from his wife, received in
1890 letter from the bishop of Lichfield
and Coventry wherein a fellow feeling
creeps through these lines of admoni-
ton:
But some will say, in your Iordship's
behalfe. that the countess is a sharpe
and bitter shreWe, and therefore licke
enough to shorten you're life if she should
keepe VOW. lndeede, my good lorde,
have heard some say so; but if shreWd-
nesse or sharpnesse may be just cause
OF separation between a man and wife |
thinck fewe men in Englande would
keepe their wives longe; for it is a COM
mon jeste, vet trewe in some sense, that
that there is but one shrewe in all the
world. and everee man hath her; and so
everee man must be rid of his wife that
would be rid of a shrewe.'
Cures for Melancholy.
Notwithstanding the histories of men
who have possessed shrewish wives, it
must be pointed out that '"The Anatomy
of Melancholy" was written by a bache-
lor. TIE man with a shrewish wife sell
dom gets leisure enough to become mel
ancholy.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24
A Noisy Operation.

Mrs. Boorman Wells, the noted En-
glish suffraget, was describing at a din
fraget meeting.
"The noise" she said, "can only be
likened to the hubbub that l once heard
coming from the nursery Of a friend
with whom I was taking tea.
Terrified by this Internal turmoil, my
friend and l burst into the nursery,
breathless. The children, in close
group by the window, the baby in the
middle. looked up calmly.
"'What on earth are You doing?" the
mother demanded.
"'We've found said the oldest boy,
poor grandma's teeth. and we're filing
them down and fitting them on the
baby"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24
Had Lots of Business.

g r. Jocelyn of Wichita was court
.oSa,or =. for Judge Pancoast of Ok
o 'fnT7 for several years. One time a
. aao-l was being tried before Judge Fan,
,a a1s and they were endeayorng to ma ma
70: :ot' through ,, a witness whether there had
3as any liquor sold. :.
What is your businee:s:sF asked the
oUTer. My busineessE repeated the
|"siness." Answer the question, sag ~
he lawyer. What IS your 81 business ;e;ss !
" Iun ,,;+npss again. answer the ques-
ne ne " interposed the judge severely.
i1 WAL responded he cheerfully, "Im
,,,,,+- sheriff and city marshall for
G 'rIlS ianitor of the Methodist church
, 1li'' bartender of the FL Paso saloon"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24
Recent Legal Decisions.

The validity of statute making it a
crime for the owner or proprietor of a sa-
loon to permit females under the age OF
81 years to remain in or about the saloon
is sustained in State VS.. Baker (Ore.) 90
Pac. 1916, 10 L.R.A.(N.S) 1910.
The right of the owners of a steam
railroad to compensation for the crossing
of its track at a public highway inter
section by an electric interurban road
built upon the highway with the consent
of the board of commissioners of the
county is denied in South East & ST. L.
r. Co. vs. Evansville & Mt. V. Electric
r. Co. Ond.) 81 n. E. 765, IS L.R.A.(N.
So 916.
The right to an injunction to restrain
a mill owner from discharging into
stream. oils chemicals, and dyestuffs in
such quantities as to pollute the water
TO such an extent that the cattle of a
lower riparian proprietor refuse to drink
it is sustained in MacNamara VS.. Taft
(Nass.) SO n. E. $40. Is L.R.A.(N.S9
1O44.
One burying a carcass on his own land
is held. in Long VS.. Louisville & n. r.
Go. 50 Ky. L. Rep. TIA. 107 S. W.
2O3, IS L.R.A(N.S.l 1868. not to be liable
for its pollution of a neighbor's spring,
unless the circumstances were such that
he should. as person of reasonable pru-
dence. have anticipated that such result
would follow.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24
The Details.
"The particulars-?"

1.-THE particulars-W
"Well Capt. Feebles was shot in the
back, originally, and went around with
his back bent a good deal like an interro-
CATION mark, until he got portly slab of
back pension. Then he Strengthened up
his back until it was decidedly concave
instead of considerably convex, dyed his
whiskers a fighting black, and set out in
pursuit of buxom widow, who, be-
ing a widow, knew exactly how to be
caught while maintaining all the symp-
toms of eluding capture to the very best
of her ability. "-Smart Set.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24

was given up to die Being urged,
used Doan's Kidney Pills. Soon l was
better and in a few weeks was about
the house, well and strong again
Sold by all dealers so cents a box.
Foster Milburn Co.. Buffalo. n. Y.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24
Reply in Full.

A member of an eminent st. Louis
law firm went to Chicago to consult II
client When he arrived he found that
he had unaccountably forgotten the
clients name He telegraphed his part
ner:
what is our clients name?
The answer read:
Brown, Walter e. Yours is Allen,
William B." - Philadelphia Public
Ledger.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24

"FOr years l was
weak and run down,
could not sleep, my
limbs swelled and
the secretions were
troublesome; pa i n S
were intense. | was
fast in bed for four
months. Three doc
tors said there was
no cure for me, and |
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24

Here are some interesting figures
given by the New York Herald for users
of gas meters: In three months out of
2SO5 meters tested. after complaint, 524
were correct, 1920 We're fast and 661
were slow.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24

MRS. WINSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP for
Children feething; softens the gums, reduces in
fammation. allays pain, cures wind collie. 25
cents bottle.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24
BED-BoUND FOR MONTHS.

Hope Abandoned After Physicians'
Consultation.
Mrs. Enos Shearer, Yew and Wash
inpt0n streets Centralia Wash Saws
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-07-24

.+ril;no CONTRAST exists betWeen Inc
nresent lovely and amiable Duchess 4t OF
Mar4oo eo1dEer.ftuhe of that title, who. in
sp pfae Of fo the wretched existence which she
S 1ed him m loved his virago to the day wnen
death released him from the torni SIn5
which she inflicted. Her temper vat ctnaIIv
that to spite him she one u a, which he
f foo sre e PRIDE and it where he
would sdS see " Was never manifested, and it
10 afpu seem as though even her e fnd
heart heart might have been touched upon ra nnes
ING after his death her snoan treasures
locked away in cabinet alloiis
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-02-13
Measure Provides for Additional
Million Acres for Irrigation
Under Carey Act.
AMENDMENT TO SMoOT BILL.
Gem States Senator Would Limit EN-
try OF Dry Farm Tracts to Citizens
OF State Where Entry is Made.
Especial to the "News."l

Washington, d. c., Feb. Ex-senator
Hepburn today secured from the COM
mittee on public lands authority to
make favorable report to the senate
on his bill providing for one million
acres OF publ Glands in Idaho TO be ir-
rIgated under the Carey act, Idaho,
having almost exhausted its quota of
one million acres as provided in the
original act If this bill should become
a law 1t will enable the completion Of
a large number of projects in Idaho
now under way, which are being held
up because of the fact that the one mil
lion acres originally allowed to the
state is practically exhausted.
Senator Hepburn secured an amend
ment in the committee on public lands
to the Smoot bill allowing homesteads
OH dry lands by limiting the entry to
citizenship of the state in which the
land is located, this provision being the
same as Is now applicable under the
desert land law. While he objected to
the bill as originally introduced, on
account of the fact that it would en-
courage nonresident ownership, he is
very much in favor of legislation which
will enable the dry lands of the arid
states to be cultivated.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-02-13
SUPPOSED BIGAMlST
PAYS HEAVY PENALTY.

Bristol, Eng. Feb. 1s.-Arthur
Hyne. the man with many aliases, who
has been on trial here charged with
bigany and fraud in connection with
matrimonial advertisements, was to-
day sentenced TO seven years imprlson-
lnent on the pigamy count and five
years for fraud. these sentences to run
corcurrently. Hyne pleaded guilty TO
both charges.
Hyne is a dentist who has an Am
ercan diploma He is believed by
many persons TO be identical with
George Without or Albert Bessemer
or A. C. Weston, who, several years
ago, married several women in AM
erica and then disappeared after
having secured various sums of mon
ey from them. Witrhon left the
United States in the summer OF 1905
ana search for him was Immediately
begun. and he was finally arrested
in England last month. He Is said
TO have lived in Baltimore, Chicago.
81 Louis and elsewhere, and to have
married women wherever he went
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-02-13
Salt Lake is Not SO Hard Hit as
Some Other Cities
In America.
WHAT REGISTRATIONS TELL.
In Six Days the Number Given Free
Breakfasts is Swclled by Near
iy 100 Hungry Men.

What Is man to do who is out Of
work and starving, with no possibility
OF finding relief through getting IL Job?
Chief-of- Police Tom PIT has de-
clared that free soup kitchens should
not be opened for him, and that they
are menace when opened. The ques-
ton, says large and influential east
ern daily. is one to command the best
craftsmanship of men who meet any
period Of panic OF financial crisis. At
present Salt Lakes contact with it is
shared by every large city in the
country, and all are taking some meas
ures to afford relief.
Here is the list Of registrations of a
free soup and sleeping house in salt
Luke for the last week. 1t represents
an effort to care for about one-fourth
OF those now dependent for their
meals on charity:
Saturday, applicants for beds. IS,
Sunday, for breakfast. 12s
Sunday. applicants for beds, Jos.
Monday, for breakfast, 1856.
Monday, applicants for beds ia,
Tuesday, for breakfast, 1874.
Tuesday, applicants for beds, l2j
wednesday,, TOT DreakIaSlI isl'
Wednesday. applicants for beds, ll6
Thursday. for breakfast, 2O2
AS vet no outside work has been COM
menced owing to the fact that the re-
turn to winter weather has set In, ana
the unemployed are driven to seek IN
door shelter. With police headquarters
thronged each morning with men whose
crime II is to he hungry" 1t Is clear
that II Is not yet time TO abandon ell
forts for relief.
TALE OF SEVERAL CITIES.
Last September the government la
Dor believes posted the fact that in the
nation there were 10000 labor JOBS
clamoring vainly for men to fill them.
To-day" according to the chicago So
cialist, there are more than 100000
American laborers looking for work,
and in spite OF the suicides there Will
be more tomorrow
voted s2523, 600 for city improvements
to give the unemployed work. In Chi
cRgo relief committee is raising a
s100, goo fund to help the situation.
Chicago and New York seem to lead
In the point of numbers OF unefn-
ployed, and in the sharpness of their
suffering. The papers from both these
cities seem 10 point to greater suffer
ing a year ahead, with the exhaustion
of the savings accounts of thrifty
wordnGluen who had sums laid by for
times OF stress such as this, The pop
ulation OF unemployed men in Salt
Lake is estimated Mt 1900. of whom
1000 are not residents. but men en-
ployed in the surrounding country who
drirted In here after being released
from work.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-02-13
Jap SoLoNS IN RIOT
IN HOUSE SESSI0 N,
Ono Half of Appropriations to
he Expended in Amendmen D..

Z BE Expended In Amendment D..
Toxic, Fob. 13.--Atter an e1 hit
/. Ing debate lasting six h IuTs
; which developed into riot on the
I. floor Of the house Of represe hta-
/; tives, the financial budget was
! passed by n majority OF 102.
I: Speakers on both sides occu piled
! a long time and towards the lnst
; thoy howled at the chair artd
I. charged favorltlsm, the ofJposi-
!: ton members demanding an ,aJ,ol-
I ozy.
The cltair suspended the se.slon
!. for half an hour and rnon re-
4 Stunning the chair nlbolcgiEed
!. handsomely to the oppos hlon,
! Impressive speeches wnre mudo
! during the debate. oil making "A
/. point OF the feature that MORE
Z than one-half OF the budget was
|. expended in asmaments. 1t was
I also urged that the fiscal NJ cas-
!. ures OF the 80 vernmsnt dR. not
! contain provisio MS to prevent On
!. outflow of gold. shila the balance
/ Of trade had q tendency against
! Japan, fear being oppressed that
!. the basis OF the gold reserve
!. might be endansereh.
]. Upon the side of. the ministry.
!. the principal tapcakers eloQuently
!. argued that it was' both unwise
!; and dangerous to publicly discuss
/. the nations frulnces from a pes
; slmistic standpoint. thereby Gre
I. ating an unnecessary alarm
i abroad. He called nttdntion to
/: the natural resources OF Japan,
/ which were only awaiting devel-
!. opment by cheap capital.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-02-13
REFERENCE TO WAR
STIRS YOUNG MEN.
Lincoln Banquet Scene of Patrl.
otto Ardor.

otto Ardor.
Chicago, Feb. 13.--Reference 70
possibility OF war led to scene
OF patriotic ardor at the Lincoln
celebration OF the National Attn
) letlc club last night. General w.
Fl. Carter. U. S. A.. and Gen. Z.
. c. Young, Illinois National
Guard, We're among the speak
. ers Alexander Sullivan, in an
address following, said:
. IF the limo comes when our
flag is assailed, we may rest as
) sured the Illinois Athletic club
will be recruiting ground for
) volunteers. Nobody is expecting
difficulties of an internationa!
) character and am sure nobody
wants them, but II they do como,
we all know that we are pre-
pared for--well. anybody.
I'm the time Of our great trial
Abraham Lincoln came forth to
lead US to victory and we have
! no lack Of great and capable men
today. The presence OF the SOL
diers this evening Is sufficient to
show Chicago would be we'll rep
rency in an emergency"
The great dining hall, which
was filled with picturesque
gathering OF club members and
uniformed soldiers. young and
old. was instantly n scene Of
enthusiasm. The silken flags
that adorned the tables were
seized and waved in the air, the
soldiers forgetting their parade
uniforms and gold lace to throw
their arms about in the air and
cheer.
,. o. T. !. = 4.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-02-13
WAR DEPARTMENT CREATES
DIVISION FOR MILITIA

washington, Fob. i2-.Iu recognition Of
the growing intimacy between The regular
army ana the nftioual militia. Acting
Secretary or War oliver has issued an Or
der creating a now division IN The war
department. 70 be known as the division OF
militia affairs.
Col ~ nj Weaver. N the coast ar
tlllery has been named aa chief of the
now division Tho luHHic'lon OF the
division involves tho armament. equip
mont discipline. trimming education ana
organlzation OF militia. conduct of camps
Of instruction and participation In the
field exercises ana manenyers N the reg
ulAr army and the mobilization and the
relations OF tho militia 10 the regular
army IN time 81 peace