davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Gov. Johnson Takes a Dive

We invite Mr.. Bryan's attention to
what is undoubtedly the most serious
and disquieting development of the op-
position to his nomination. We refer. of
course, 10 the backward sonnersault md
high dive achieved by Gov, johnson at
Old Point Comfort on Saturday last
This important political event deserves
consideration in some detail We find
the salient features in a special tele-
gram to the Richmond Times-Dlspatch
of Sunday:
Old Point Va. May El-Taking his first salt
water plunge in the hotel swimming pool this after
noon Gov John A. johnson OF Minnesota rcr.
formed an athletic stunt so truly remarkable for
iorty -SeYen-year-old amateur that distinguished
party Of Richmond people looking on had to cheer
without knowing tho identity Of the tai ng1,r in
pue He slipped quietly into the place with the
desire Of avoiding notoriety the stock suit fitting
him as suugiy his birthday earb Begore the
crowd realized that it was to see national sopatic
artist, the governor mounted the snringboard Re-
versing the plan usually followed by high diver,
he cried 10 his companion 70 chase away. and then
TUNED backward sonasault going high into the
air and hitting the water with the race and dignity
Of star
As the crowd appauded. the governor swan
about With long overland strokes Delighted with
his elevenes he challenged his friend 10 duplicate
the feat thoggh the best he could do was % strike
the water fat Then. TO shON him how easily II
oould be done. the Minnesota executive turned an
other.
After remaining in the water for fifteen minute,
he came out refreshed and hungry for a bite"
It was tho governors drst essay in salt
water. but he made hit and a splash.
Two railroad presidents. a Federal Judge.
a United States district attorney, and the
lieutenant governor Of Virginia took the
measure OF the natatorial prodigy. Ac-
oording to our informant. he was the OBJ
ject OF more curiosity than friendly In
terest- He modestly retired" from the
public gaze. subsequently reappearing
with stronger conviction than ever that
the Democratic party needs a winner
with accent on the winner. A self-confi.
dent fellow, This Scandinavian swimmer:
a fine figure in a bathing suit. and mas
ter Of the backward somersault, going
high into the air and hitting the water
with the grace and dignity Of a starr
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Concerning Buttercups.

We fear the good doctors of this land
men in the main of noble intent and
purpose-are going a little too far IN
their efforts 10 protect US against all
manner OF danger, imaginary and other
wise. Perhaps It isn't fair TO include
though mild and good-natured indict-
ment; but. at all events, some of them
are going too far
For instance. It is Idle for them to ad-
wise people not 10 kiss babies; a belt
there are numbers OF people who. per-
haps. shouldn't We know that germs
are lurking everywhere. They are prone
to pounce upon defenseless mortals at
most unexpected moments. and attack US
in most peculiar and ferocious manner;
but even that won't prevent people from
kissing babies. whenever and wherever
babies are to be found that Will stand
for 1t. No Doctors ipse dixit can ward
it OF; the ukase Of a czar would fail Of
its purpose in such regard.
II is this feeling that prompts us 70
view more with amused tolerance than
alarm a physicians opinion as embodied
in this item from the Philadelphia Bull
letin:
"A physician is quoted as declaring that the
picking Of buttercups by children is a dangerous
practice. The perils which this and preceding gen
erations have survived without knowing anything
abou; them must really haTe been appalling-R
Only they had been TieweS through sufficiently
poSsimistic spectacles''
We think the Bulletin is right in It's
comment 1t requires pessimistc eyes 70
see the towering danger latent in the
picking OF buttercups by children We
don't believe many tots have been snatch
ed hence because they were given to
picking these attractive little flowers.
We presume persons who are inclined 20
differ from us as 20 this nOnscientiflc con-
clusion will bid their children lot tho
buttercups severely alone. That is their
right of course. This is a free country.
Others may balk at forbldding their GILL
dren such an apparently innocent pas
time, though they may seek TO guard
against miniature and microscopic hob
goblins by providing their young ones
with nice little sprink,iag-pots plentifully
supplied with a bichloride solution or for
maldehyde with which they may baptize
the flowers before plucking.
All folks TO their tastes. with especial
latitude Of opinion for ultra-nervous peo-
pie. say we. Those who find danger in
buttercup gathering viii govern them
selves accordingly. AS for US. we should
turn the children loose and bid them
riot to their hearts content among all
the flowers of spring and summer. Hang
the germs! Let the kids enjoy themselves,
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
FIRST OF DREADNOUGHTs.
Launch of Michigan Marks n New
Era in the Navy.

From the Philadelphia Press.
With the launching OF the Michigan in
the Delaware River from Camden, the
new navy OF the United States enters
on IFS third stage. The first came when
four cruisers We're built. twenty-five
years ago. The second arrived when the
four battle ships which were at Santiago
were planned and launched. from ten to
fifteen years ago. The third comes with
the launch Of the first all big-gun battle
ships, the other being built in this city.
With these vessels the United States
for the first time takes an even start
with other powers in the naval race.
When the cruisers were built. other now
ers had been launching cruisers for twen-
~ years Battle ships had been building
as long when the Massachusetts was
planned. But the Michigan represents
the Dreadnought type, less than three
years old, and the United States will
from the start match any power in them
but England.
The Michigan is not only 1900 tons.
and therefore larger than its predeces-
sors and close TO the Dreadnought at
h,N0-woLld be as big II naval experts
advice had been followed-but its batter,,
is al concentrated. Instead OF guns OF
Pinch, S-inch. and 6-inch. it carries eight
Finch guns where other battle ships as
big carry four This not only doubles
the amount OF fire on one vessel but IN
IS believed that eight guns firing together
on one battle ship can do far more than
the divided fire OF four guns each on two
battle ships.
NO one has yet tried this in action. At
Santiago at point-blank ranges OF under
two miles no Pinch or lS-inch gun bit
anything. but a revolution has taken
place since then in naval marksmansbip.
The japanese are believed to have used
their I2-inch guns with effect at Shu-
shima and began fire at a range Of four
miles.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
TREATIES, NOT SHIPS.
Four More Agreements Would Stop
War Chances.

EOur more agreements WOuAO StOD
War Chances.
From the Ohio stats Journal.
The United States has three arbitration
treaties which she has made since the
second Hague peace convention, one with
Great Britain. one with Mexico, and the
other with japan. 1t is possible under
these treaties to avoid war absolutely
If we succeed in making four more
treaties. namely. with Germany, Austria.
France, and Russia, We needn't put
another dollar in war ships; at least. to
build up a greater navy.
These treaties are not vigorous and
all-absorbing affairs, but a nation
peaceably disposed can make use OF them
and avoid war absolutely. 1t will de-
pend much Upon the sort of diplomacy
we have. If It is the obstreperous and
arrogant kind, il may not avoid war.
If it is the refined and Christian kind.
it win be easy to staye off bloody con-
flict
There are hopes OF entering into cor
dial relations with these four great na-
tions; and that the world viii be accus-
toned to these paths of peace. and ready
10 make them the broad highways of all
nations. before the third Hague tribunal
viii meet Then universal arbitration
will be decreed. and disarmament will
follow, as the day follows the night.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Our Extrnvagnnt Plnn.-

FROM the New York Evening Post
Inc extravaganza OF the projects urged
at Washington this session is a subject
on which we have dwelt more than once
the proposal to lay down four battle ships
at a cost Of about SlO.OOO0OO apiece. and
the public buildings bill Che pork barreD
with its appropriation Of some SsSoo0.o)o
Advocates Of economy may be interested
TO learn that the Bureau of Education is
10 secure an increase Of only 81, go over
the amount for the current year. OF this
ADDITION, $40 is for books for the library
and Tor completion OF valuable sets Of
periodicals. The 1900 is to raise the
salary of the Commissioner OF Education.
who will henceforth get $500 This is
less than the pay Of a full professor at
Harvard, or Of a superintendent OF schools
in city OF 10000 inhabitants. The Com
missioner Of Education, however, like
other high officers at Washington. is ex-
pected TO find his reward IN serving his
country and securing professional distinc-
tion. No appropriation whatever was
made for the investigation by the Bureau
of Education OF special educational prob
lens. for which purpose the Secretary
OF the Interior strongly requested $4,000.
We venture to say. however that every
$4,000 spent by the bureau brings a richer
return TO this country than every 100000
expended on the navy. But the needs OF
the bureau do not appeal TO those men
who love noise and parade and the shouts
OF the jingoes.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Pass the Publicity Bill.

Secretary Taft and Mr. Bryan. the
leading candidates OF their respective
parties for the Presidential nomination.
are both squarely on record as favorlng
a campaign publicity dill Mr.. Bryan has
often urged the passage OF such a bill IN
his speeches and in his paper. and Mr..
Taft, in the letter TO Senator Burrows.
ncw made public. comes out strongly for
the measure pending at he time the
letter was written. as calculated TO elimi-
rate corruption in politics. Mr.. Taft does
not directly respond to Mr.. Bryan's sug-
gestion that Congress be appealed to for
the passage OF a publicity bill. but It may
be assumed that Mr.. Bry ans telegram
and the Socretary's reply thereto con
stitute IN themselves sufficient indication
TO Congress Of the anxiety of the two
men most likely 10 be the principal Presi.
Dental candidates for the enactment Il
legislation designed to stamp out cleo
toral corruption.
The attitude Of these two men should
have weight enough with Congress TO Sc
cure the passage of a publicity bill d.
vested Of any partisan feature. Demo-
cratic members of both Houses are for
the bill, and we should think the Republi-
can majority would be convinced Of the
political deslrability Of going before the
country with a profession OF Willingness
TO have the Presidential campaign CON
Quoted. as TO all financial matters. open
and nboveboard. Some months ago the
opinion was generally held that rhere
would be little fat-frying in the approach
ing campaign; that It promised TO be en-
tirely free from the corruption that had
characterized certain former elections. II
IS significant 70 note that, in the ligb.
OF various performances on the part OF
the House majority and the obvious
efforts Of Mr.. Taft's ovefzealous friends
to conciliate powerful financial interests.
this opinion has undergone considerable
revision 1t is becoming evident enough
that the Republican campaign chest will
not be empty, and that there will be
ample opportunity to finance the election
according TO the disreputable methods
formerly in vogue. Mr.. Taft has made #
plain that he IS not personally in favor
OF these methods. being perfectly willing
that they be made impossible by giving
publicity to all campaign contributions
and expenditures. We should think Re-
publicans generally would see the political
advantage OF conducting the campaign
on the higher moral level demanded bv
the awakened public conscience OF the
day.
There is ample time to pass the pub
lcity bill before Congress adjourns. an1
it ought TO be done We call upon all
friends Of MIR. Taft and Mr.. Bryan in
Congress TO make a special endeavor 70
secure the passage Of an ADEQUATE non-
partisan measure that will require pub
hcity in the collection and expenditure OF
national campaign funds.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
STAND AND DELIVER.
Republicans in Good Trim TO Hold
Up the Interests.

Republicans In G0oa Trim 10 hoiu
Up the Interests.
Frum the Louisville Courier-JournaL
The whole pretension Of the Repub-
lican party 10 favor a bill providing
for campaign publicity was exposed as
buncombe by the total lack Of interest
taken in II by the President. by the gin
gerly way In which the bill was handled
by members OF the party in the House.
and by the revolutionary. dangerous.
and impossible rider" attached 10 Il
by Representative Crumpacker. The bill
has served as an instrument 10 reveal
the double-dealing OF the Republicans as
scarcely anything else has done recently.
The party will now proceed 10 collect
from the tarin-protected corporations
vast sums OF corruption money 20 be
used in the impending Presidential cam
paign. The so-calied tariff-revision move
ment viii give valuable aid 10 the process
Of extOrting funds from moneyed inter
ests. Give. or Wen revise the tariff
against you" ought 70 make many a
tariff-suppOrted trust stand and deliver.
like any other victim Of highwaymen.
The Republicans are splendidly fixed
for a campaign of corruption, and.
doubtless. they viii mulct the CORPORA
tons as mercilessly 0s they did during
the Roosevelt campaign Of 1904
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Picayune statesmanship.

From the New York Evening Post.
1t is not the sharp contrivances or the
angry recriminations of Representatives
in Congress that impress the popular
mind. so much as large and sober poll
cies painstakingly wrought into law
Compared with such comprehensive plans
of legislation as Gov. Hughes has IA
thered. or President Roosevelts far
sighted schemes in references TO irriga-
tion, and forest preservation and the I'M
proYement of our waterways, all the jol-
lihcations of the Republicans at Wash
ington over. their success in putting tie
Democrats In a parliamentary hole. are
but as the cracking OF thorns under a
not
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Another Argument

Gentlemen" said the Western Senator.
Il cannot agree with my honorable col
leagues who would allow the forests 20
be leveled We need them. The tree,
sir. is the very bulwark Of our clviliza-
tion. Deprived Of the tree. what would
happen?
Floods, hear a voice announce; but.
gentlemen, there would be a worse condi-
ton. In a treeless land what could we
hang boss thieves on? Tell me that. you
despOilers Of natures gifts"
But, Of course, there was nothing to
saw
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
A Case of Nerve

MY little poem" said the visitor .'the
one that I handed In yesterday-what did
you think Of it?'
Excellent" said the editor heartily.
really splendid. But it's singular coin
cidence that Tennyson wrote the same
poem about fifty years ago"
He did!" exclaimed the visitor. What
an awful nerve he hadr
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
cIerclnnd,. nenutx Leg.

From The Baltlmore News
A coterie of Cleveland women have
taken up new fad-walking bareIesged
in the woods and along country roads,
in order 10 become as beautiful as the
maidens Of ancient Greece. This is SIM
ply the open-work stocking in process Of
evolution.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

A European statesman says possession
OF the Philippines is the only thing that
could ever involve this country in war.
We do wish somebody would occasionally
say something pleasant in connection
with our proprietorship over there. II
would be such novel and delightful
change
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Satisfied.

The elderly man gave his consent. But
my daughter always Insisted that she
wanted a husband with a title" he added
We'll. showed her my two" replied
the young man. ''One was TO a town
house and the other 70 a place in the
country"
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

superhuous W o T d 8
appear. he sees 10
II that they are
omitted. S enator
Tillman introduced
a resolution early
this session which
did not meet with
the approval Of the
Massachusetts Sen
ator. as far as the
language was con-
cerned. and he at
once c allie d the
South CaPolinian's
attention to the fact.
S e ator Tillman
arose and said: II
turn the resolution
over to the learned
gentle man from
Massachusetts,, and
1 trust he will
change the wording
so as to meet the
approVaI OF HIS
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

An applicant for naturalization papers
answered one of the questions asked him
in this wise: Congress is the law-mak-
ing body OF the country; God made IT,"
This entities him to go foot, and stay
there until his brain expands to some
thing like forty-seven times its present
dimensions
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Too Late.

80 you discovered the north pole?''
can hardly claim that" replied
Peary modestly. but was there"
What do you mean?'
why l found that a miner had footed
in from Alaska and was using the pole as
a stake at one corner of his claim"
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

There are $4,000 unemployed in this
country" says the Richmond Times-Dis-
patch. Perhaps that is because so many
people insist upon attending 70 so much
business that doesn't concern them.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Either WnH Hfuh-

Yes said the lawyer. Il can get you
a divorce with or without publicity"
Which would be more expensive?"
No difference. 1t costs about as much
to get people 10 talk as 20 induce them
10 keep still"
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
FACTS AND FANCIES.
Prom the PHILADELPHIA Ledger.
Near a Bad Baruofo

FIvll the Fhiladelphia LEDGER
Near a Bad Bargain.
The agent Of the titled wooer found
that the ambitious American girl had
only $4,000 a year.
OF course. he advised his principal to
withdraw.
But. Insisted the latter, II could
scrape along on $4,000 year"
Possibly. but who'd support your
wife?"
Even love could put forth no argument
against this.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

A Greek prince is hunting work in New
York, expressing a desire for anything
likely to pay" If he could manage to
secure some American millionaire pain
law to work. ii would be quite likely to
pay. The game generally pans out that
way we believe.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

1t is sincerely to be hoped that this in
sane criminal will be allowed 10 pass,
he and his do'ngs and his wife. out Of
the news Of the day.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
MOdernisy.

The young grandmother was indignant
at her son-in-law.
Your presumption in becoming a father
is beyond forgiveness" she said.
Not even the suggestion that precedents
could be cited seemed 10 soothe her.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
A Theory.

why do the fashions change so fire.
quently?"
don't know. 1t may be they're try
Ing TO elude some Of the people who fol-
low them"
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

A Savannah paper notes that a certain
candidate for Office down in its neck OF
the woods, who was running on a plat
form of reforming the world" failed
to carry his home district" This doesn't
necessarily show that the world isn't
willing to be reformed; but it shows that
the politicians are not going to be dele
gated all the responsibility for the job.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

The st. Louis Globe-Democrat thinks
Luther Burbank may yet be able to make
two votes grow where only one is sup
posed to grow. Even If he did, however.
he would still be good many laps be-
hind the average Phnadelphia politician.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Nothing Wasted.

That was a nice chicken Joke YOU
prepared yesterday"
Yes, said the press humorst. "and
l think l can work it over into a hash
joke for tomorrow"
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

There is one happy thought about sum-
mer. You know you are not going 10 be
seized with the spring garden fever
again for nine or ten months TO come,
anyhow.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

That Texas woman who has been
asleep for ninety days win no doubt
eheerfully admit that she never before
spent such a pleasant time in that State.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
To Graduates.

Beyond the Alps lies Italy.
We're getting tired OF this refrain.
4 offer you n new one free:
Beyond the Pyrenees lies Spain.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
And MnkInr Coma

Yes; I'm working for the uplft now"
Noble mani And what are you do
ing?"
Running freight elevator"
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

Georgia is trying 10 keep prohibition
out Of politics. 1t appears about as easy
as getting the tariff out of the same
thing
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
CAPITOL GOSSIP.

Senator Henry Cabot Lodge Is the
watch dog OF good English in the United
States Senate. Every resolution and bill
passes his critical eye, and should any
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
our rnraunIed Gunncrn.

From the st. Louis Globe-DemoeTat.
Admiral Evans says the craftsmanship
at Magdalena Bay was never equaled by
any navy in the world. This statement
answers the purpose while waiting FOR
the score.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

The recently spread report to the effect
that DIR. Bryan doesn't Ike baseball was
dark. underhand trick Of the enemy.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

A New Jersey man killed himself be-
cause three women claimed him as their
husband. From this we infer that at
least one Of them was able 20 establish
the truth of her allegation
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

Whenever it comes to a question of put
up or shut up. the Sultan Of Turkey in
variably refuses TO stay put.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

A Chicago scientist claims to be able
This ought to insure US against famine
In the supply OF book agents. insurance
solicitors. and theatrical advance agents.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
somethinG LackInE.

Il amt satisfied with the way they
printed this speech" declared Congress-
man Wayback.
Why. they sprinkled in plenty OF
laughter and APPLAUSE"
Yes. But how about all them Res-
tures?"
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

Hungarian beggars swarm about the
szcbenyis in droves, so it is said. The
count was never worried with that sort
Of thing before he married.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

Mr. Eddie Foy says. Were Hamlet
alive, he would not object to my por-
trayal of him." This decides afirmatively
the problem Of Hamlets insanity.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Tendency of the Times.

1T must be nice to be rich. Then.
when your children marry. you can pre-
vide for them"
Quite so,' admitted the rich man.
And If they want an occasional di-
vorce. you can buy it for them"
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27
Mark of DIstincfion.

"Gogglebat seems 10 be getting pretty
prominent"
has somebody called him a liar?'
The Washington herald., 1908-05-27

The baseball season has already reach
ed the point-with-pride and view-wlth-
alarm stage.