davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Smyrna times., 1908-12-02
Mark Twain Caught Out.

A poet, pair of trousers across his
knee, sat in his attic trying to thread
a needle
The proper way" he said, lis t0
hold the thread still and push the nee
die toward it or to hold the needle still
and push the thread toward it. Mark
Twain says both ways are right. Then
he says they are both wrong"
Taking down The Prince and the
Pauper" the poet read;
HE did as men have always done
and probably always will do to the
end of time-held the needle still and
tried to thrust the thread through the
eye, which is the opposite of a wo-
mans way"
Then the poet, taking down "Huckle-
berry Finn read:
"'Bless you. child, when you set
out to thread Il needle don't hold the
thread still and fetch the needle up to
it. Hold the needle still and poke the
thread at it. That's the way a wO-
man most always. does, but a man al
ways does t'other way"
Smyrna times., 1908-12-02
Mon Every Lime.

'Have you ever loved and lost?"
sighed the swain.
"Nope." responded the maiden
promptly. 1--WE won every breach of
promise suit ever brought "-Cleve-
land Leader.
Smyrna times., 1908-12-02
AMUSING.

Hiram Greene-What did your sis
ter say when you told her l was going
to make a speech in the town hall to-
night? Willie-She didn't say nothin'
She just laughed till she had hyster-
les!
Smyrna times., 1908-12-02
BY Inheritance.

When a strange woman came for the
sOiled clothes, says writer in the Bal
timore News. the mistress of the house
came to the conclusion that her own
laundress had simply employed new
messenger and made no comment on
the circumstance. But when two
weeks had gone by and still the old
aundress-knOwn as Susan-did not
appear the mistress of the house felt
that she would be lacking in her duty
if she did not make some inquiry
about her.
''Where is Snsan?" she asked the
tall. bony woman who came for the
clothes
"She has gone to Pennsylvania to
live. yessum," returned the woman
with cOmpOsure. "She went to Penn.
sylvania some time ago. an she !ef'
gOOdby for yuh, but s long yuh didn't
seem tub notice l didn't say muffin"
but why didn't she come and tell
me and allow me to make some ar
rangements about my laundry?"
"Well. she lef' yo' clothes tub meh
She made a will an lef' dem clothes
tub meh. We'se allus been good frien's.
an so wen she lef' she say may
wash yo' clothes long ez wush tub.
an dere was no use worryin' yuh
bout hit, now was dere?'
To this moderate and sensible ques-
ton the mistress of the house found
no ready response.
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30
PROBATE NOTICE.

State Of Minnesota. County of Hennepin.
In Probate Court
In the Matter of the Estate of John Mall
10y, also known as John Molloy, De.
| cedent
On receiving and filing the final ac-
count Of the executor of the last viii,
ana testament and of the estate of said
the allowance of said account and for a
decree assigning the residue of said es-
tate to the persons by law entitled to
| the same
It is ordered, That all persons interest
ed in said estate appear before the said
OF June. 1905. at ten o'clock in the fore
noon, at the probate. court in the court
mouse at Minneapolis in said county,
then and there to show cause, if any
there be, why said account should not
be allowed and said estate should not be
distributed as prayed for in said petit
ton.
And it is further ordered. That notice
this order once in each week for three
successive weeks prior to said day of hear
ing, In the Irish Standard, a newspaper
printed and published in said county,
an and by mailing a copy Of this order to
law of decedent when their address is
known or can be ascertained by due dill
ieence. at least fourteen f1D days be.
fore the date of said hearing, unless mo-
tice is waived.
=, Dated at Minneapolis, this 18th day Of
May, 1905.
BY the Court:
GEORGE r. SMITH,
Judge of Probate
Attorney for Petitioner,
| Bank of Commerce Bldg.
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30

The northwestern Agriculturist
knows this to be true, because as we
guarantee all advertisements (that they
are honesty We usually hear Of any
complaints by our readers against any
advertiser. and we have never receiv.
ed complaint against the T. NJ. Ro.
berts Cooperative Supply Company,
which has not proved to be promptly
and cheerfully made right-usually be.
fore the complaint ever reaches US
Not once year do we hear Of any mis-.
take at all made by any department in
this great establishment.
The saving to farmers and villagers
through buying from such a reliable
catalogue house as the T. NJ. Roberts
Cooperative Supply Company, amounts
Ito many thousands Of dollars annual
ly, and we only wonder that the farm
ers who have not yet gotten the habit
|of making purchases that way, are Sc
slow to realize their opportunity. Our
advice is always to watch the adver
tising columns Of the Northwestern
Agriculturist, (the only weekly farm
paper In ! tnnesota and the Dakotas)
for the advertisements Of the T. M.
Roberts Cooperative Supply Company
and be alert to take advantage Of the
special bargains offered almost every
week.
p. v. Collins Publishing Co.,
P. V. Collins, President.
Publishers Of the great Northwest
ern Agriculturist,
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30
SOUTH DAKOTA.

Died-one Of Brown county's pio-
sneer residents, viz: Mr.. N. P. Friel of
westport. passed to his eternal reward
I one day last week at the ripe old age
of 81 years. Deceased was a native OF
the County Of Donegal. Ireland, where
he was born in '26 and in early man.
Z hood came to America with his par
ents. settling at Philadelphia, where
!, ~ married Miss Margaret McMena-
( min ana from that union I sons and
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30
"A GREAT MAIL ORDER HOUSE.

The steady growth Of the business
a the T. NJ. Roberts Cooperative Com
pany is proof that 1t is doing business
along lines satisfactory to its custo.
mers. No business which fails to
please its patrons can become a per.
manent success, and the evidence of
this company's success is very tangible
IN its continual additions to its store.
room capacity until now 1t occupies
moro than double the space it did a
few years ago. It's volume Of business
during 1907, we understand. was the
largest in It's history.
The secret Of success of this i'm.
mense mail order business lies in its
honest treatment of It's customers, no
matter how distant they may be from
Minneapolis. A child can order any
goods, from suit Of clothes to a set
Of furniture. and get the same prices,
the same quality Of goods and the
same prompt shipment and courteous
treatment as the shrewdest buyer. OF
course It is poss&ble that mistakes
might arise IN filing a complicated
ordes, but always when any mistake
IS made. It is carefully and promptly
corrected. and the system Of double
checking all orders before they 20 out
makes mistakes of any kind almost
impossible.
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30
DULUTH NEWS.

Bishop McGolrick urged the men,
bers of the Catholic Order of Foresters
who held their silver jubilee exercises
last Sunday evening in ST. Clements 8
hall, to own their own homes.
He gave a general talk on the prog
ress and advancement of the commu-
nifty and Individual citizens. He de-
clared that one of the best steps to-
ward happiness and prosperity and
enhancing the prosperity of the COM
munity was for the individual to own
his home instead of to rent 1t from
some one else.
The bishop spoke about the advance
ment Of the Order OF Foresters and the
good work it had accomplished since
it was founded. Miss Mary Shesgren
gave two readings and vocal solos were
given by Mrs. E. p. Kriemer and John
Golcz. Ed Sauer gave a piano solo.
P. H. Martin, state chief ranger. pre-
sided during the exercises. The ex-
ercises were we'll attended, despite the
disagreeable weather.
Marjorie McTague, the little sopra-
no. was enthusiastically received at
Miss Tu!ton's pupi! recital given In
Flaaten's hall.
Miss Anna and Miss Mary Brett, Of
Carlton, who are the guests of Mr..
and Mrs. John Bethune, 10S North
Fifty eighth avenue west for a. few
days, expect to return to their home In
n few days.
Miss Mary Duggan of 4407 Oneota
street., and Mr.. Daniel Cavenaugh, Of
Cloquet, were united in marriage We'd
nesday morning OF last week by Faith
er D. w. Lynch of the st. James Cath
olic church. After the wedding cere-
,nony breakfast was served at the
home of the brides parents, Mr.. and
Mrs. Cavenaugh will be at home at
Cloquet.
The Rt. Rev. James McGolrick will
preach the commencement sermon on
Sunday afternoon, June Z, at $3.50
O'Clock. at the normal school.
Mrs. c. F. Macdonald is visiting
friends in Minneapolis.
Capt Alexander McDougall has
purchased the A. W. Kuehnow resi-
dence at 1905 East First street, for a
consideration said to be in the neigh
borhood of $4,000. The property has
been purchased by Capt. McDougall as
home, his former residence property
at the southeast corner of Second
street and Fifth avenue west having
been taken by the county. under con-
domination proceedings, as part Of
the courthouse site.
The interstate bridge will be opened
for traffic on July 4, according to pres
| ent indications. Work on the bridge
is progressing as rapidly as it can be
pushed. and If the calculations Of the
men in charge of the work do not go
astray, trains will be running over
the bridge on independence day. The
bridge was wrecked in August. 1906;
80 that twenty three months will have
elapsed when the repairs are COM
pleted.
The funeral Of Villa mMurray, who
was drowned Monday afternoon while
driving logs on the White Face river.
above CJoquet. was held Wednesday
morning at o'clock from st. James
Catholic church. Rev. Father Lynch
offlciated. The interment was at CAL
vary cemetery.
A thoroughly delightful concert was
given at the Lyceum, Thursday evening
Of last week by Miss Julia Donovan
assisted by Mr.. and Mrs. Fred G.
Bradbury. Miss Donovan, who was
prominently identified with musical
Duluth during the years she lived here
was heard last evening for the firs,
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30
PROBATE NOTICE.


State of Minnesota, County of Hennepin.
Probate Court
In the Matter of the Estate of Peter Nc.
Nance. Deceased.
Letters of administration on the es-
tate Of Peter McNamee. deceased. late
Of the county of Hennepin and state of
N1rMu NM1lnMnesota' being granted to Peter H.
| sofa.
by the afidavt Of the p'" said l'ee Peter prG9l r.
McNamee, made and filed herein. that
there are no debts against the estate Of
the said Peter McNamee, deceased.
-, IT Is ordered. that three months be and
after the date of this order in which all
persons having claims or demands against
the said deceased are required to file the
same In the probate court of said county.
for examination and allowance, or be
| forever. barred.
1t is further ordered, that the first Tues
a. M. at a special term Of said probate
! court. to be held at the court house in
the City of Minneapolis. in said county.
4 be and the same is hereby appointed as
the time. and place when and where the
said probate court will examine and ad-
Just said claims and demands.
And 1t is further ordered, that notice
and persons interested in said estate by
forthwith publishing this order once in
each week for three successive weeks in
the Irish Standard. newspaper printed
and published in said county.
Dated at Minneapolis, this 10Th day OF
J BY the Court:
GEORGE r. SMITH.
Judge Of Probate
4
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30

Of Charity. The family has been one
Of abundant service in the Church.
Il can't 60 to mass as often as
would like" said the Canon. changing
from his jovial mood to one Of pathetic
interest. 1T is not SO easy to climb
down these stairs 80 foreso the bless
ing. But I have great compensation.
I say mass right here in my room.
have my altar arranged by faithful
hands and my attendants are the de-
vout daughters Of the Church. Yes, we
have regular mass here. am not lack
ing in the means Of religious consola-
tion. God be praised for that"
Through the door of the canon'A
bedroom could be seen the little altar
with it's accessories. The aged priest
looked through the door at the image
of the Virgin with fervent gaze, and
his lips moved in prayer. And then,
after fitting lapse Of time, he broke
out in his old mood again.
Did you have your dinner? Stay
right here and eat with me. Ill wager
you l can beat you at the table. Oh.
I'm great eater. Margaret will tell
you that. Stay right with us tonight.
Eat, like l do and you'll live to be as
old as l am.
Did you ever hear about the night
before the collection was taken for the
repairs in Ballysloughguttery chapel?
How do 1 spell it? What's that, and
you a gentleman, and don't know how
to spell an easy word like that? l
can't believe it of you. Well, it's
spelled anyway. The night the collec>
tion was taken was three nights after
the night of the big wind. The big
wind? OF course know about the big
wind. remember it we'll. was in
America at tho time. That's why I
remember it so we'll.
Il suppose you think you're pretty
strong because you're ten or fifteen
years younger than 1 am. Well, now
lot me tell you, although I'm a hun
dred years old and over l can tumble
Z man Of seventy on his back in a
twinkling. Sure, I can tumble him.
I've done it-although twas in fun,
being priest, you know. Ha, ha, ha!
nAtAh ~
he doesn't know any more about
wrestling than the man in the moon
I've seen the day-but what am
talking about? But, anyway, l know
isboys at the fair who could toss a bull
and tie a knot in his horns. Wrestling
sure-but what's the use Of talking
n know could wrestle IL bit myself
II had mind. You see. I've had 1ol
years to learn the tricks"
The venerable canon closed his eye,
n trifle wearilv. The women who have
been ministering to him SO faithfully
in their home, nodded significantly
The old priest was sleepy. He Leaned
back in his easy char and loving
hands smoothed his few gray locks.
Good bye. Canon was whispered
in his ear. 10 woke and, with a ,ner.
K ~ twinkls. sad:
s4 Canon, is it? Yes, they canonizet
me for my roguery."
II hope rol will live long encugh t.
be a cardinal" he was told.
Indeed. II they mako me canon fol
my bad desds, what would I have e
to be cardinal?"
a And with this last quip the cen.
tens ,ian 's"n.t back In his chair ant
soor was do.IaE. surrounded by hi,
faithful ministers.
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30

listening to discourse from the Rev.
Laurence Link which was brim full Of
patriotism. Those who were present
say that the address was the finest of
the kind they ever listened to.
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30

FilG OFT COUPON on opposite side Of th. sheet At ONCE
the Nerhwessrn Aetles!turIs u month"; poN'r
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30

New Disease?-"1've just been
around to see Kitty O'Neill She's i'll,
you know"
'Is her trouble rronounced?'.
Not easily.'
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30

time since she entered the profession
al life. A large audience of her for
mer friends were present to greet her
and in the program she was heard to
advantage.
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30

Jealousy at the Party.-"What's
that forward widow saying to those
gawks around herr"
THAT you can't fool all the people
all the time.'
mo; only the men people,"
The Irish standard., 1908-05-30

State of Minnesota. County of Hennepin.
In Probate Court.
In the Matter of the Estate Of John Mall
10y. also known as John Molloy, De.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1908-07-30
SWALLOWS MADE TROUBLE.

A hatpin used by pair of swal-
lows as the foundation for their nest,
built between two wires, put the en-
tire police alarm system of the
suburb of Ballard, Wash, out Of
business. The police alarm wires
from Ballard to headquarters at the
city hall were tested box by box until
the trouble was located. 1t was dis
covered that difficulty lay between
the box at Fremont and the one next
south. The electricians could find
nothing more serious that swallows
nest.
Investigation showed that the nest,
which stretched from one wire to an
other, distance Of about eight
inches, was built on hatpin, which
touched both wires and short cir
cuited the whole system.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1908-07-30
Remarkable Cow.

Gene Scott. whose home is tss
miles from Guthrie. Ia Tenness,,
Is the owner OF one OF the most q,
markaole cows ever seen in ikh
section The COW Is a ,hofoues.
ored Jersey, ? ears cid and In hsf
stocking feet Is exactly 81 IL ,clu
high. She gives three gallons q
milk every day. and excep, Tor BET
size is as 6ne cos as the Oldest
inhabiiani can remember. Her
Eeight is about $50 pounds.
The Gov now has cali vsen
old which ia 20 inches high. AID
gives grra, promise Of growing ,ni
being a big Gov some time. Ii,
calls mother vas sired BY a Jrrssy
bull belonging % the late CIV
Fort. Ct Hampton. Her mother
vas COW q average sire al
weighed probably $50 pounds NJ
Scot, has refused geveral offers Of
$50 for the COW.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1908-07-30

Fred Locke. age Is. was ,at,o
from Mayfeld to the reform schosl
Monday. He holds the record
for horse-s,ealing. having gotten
away with 1--WE animals and on.
buggy within the last few veeE,
He came here from Arkansav
The horses are said TO have been
stolen in Kentucky and Missouri. II,
last theft being near Eas, Prairi,
His parents are dead and ne Ia,
been tramping tor tvo years. Lar
week he was in Fulton and vas eiva
assistance by County Commission,
Jas. Miner. TO whom he appealsa.
saying he had no money.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1908-07-30
IN SICILY.

"For heavens sake, Excellency,
give me little more time before
putting the bailiffs in"
"Are you ready to pay something
on account 2"
"Alas Excellency, | have moth
ng-nothing at all"
Its clear to me you have not
made the least effort to pay"
"Ah, signorl Twenty times, at
least, | have hidden at the side Of
the road with my gun, but not Iiy-
ing soul passed. Grand Magazine.
Next Monday night the city coun-
Gil meets. This body can make
itself more popular by ordering a
few more granitoid walks-have
the Henderson lot cleaned up
ordering three arc lights on Clinton
street-condeming few of the nuis-
ances on Junk putting a lit
tie ginger in the COW ordinance
and appointing committee to look
into the matter Of putting up some
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1908-07-30
HuNoARTs SCARCITY OF COAL.

The British consul at Budapest
ascribes the recent scarcity Of coal
in Hungary to two causes-frst to
the deficient exploitation Of coal
mines, chiefly owing to the lack of
workmen; and, secondly, to the in
adequacy Of the arrangements for
the transport Of the coal, a defect
which makes itself felt throughout
the whole country. Meanwhile it is
estimated that about 100000 metric
tons of Cardiff coal had, last year. to
be imported at high prices into the
country, while Hungarian coal mines
were left, in part, not worked and
thus deprived of the profits which
would have accrued to them had they
been able to supply the quantity Of
coal required.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1908-07-30
POOR JUDGES OF rHEMSELvE.
Few Persons Seem Able to Select
Photograph That 10 Most
Lifelike.

"The man who can pick out th,
best picture Of himself is a rar,
bird, said a photographer. Even
an author, who is reputedly poor
Judge Of his owns work, exercises
vast wisdom in selecting his best
book compared with the person who
tries to choose his best photograph.
Every famous man or woman who
has been photographed repeatedly
has his fayorite picture. Usually il
is the worst Of the collection. II
shows him with an unnatural eU
preston sitting or standing in an
unnatural attitude.
"The inability to judge of his best
picture must be due to the average
mans ignorance as to how he really
looks (; or perhaps it can be partly at
tributed to a desire to look other
than he does. A stout man will
swear that the photograph most
nearly like him is the one that
makes him look thin, a thin man
the one that makes him look stout,
the solemn man selects the jolliest
picture, the jovisl man the most
President Roosevelt is
about the only man whose favorite
picture is the one most photogra-
pliers would pronounce the best, but
then exceptional judgment on his
part is expected all along the line"
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1908-07-30
Christian Church Revival.

The meeting at the Christia
church, which commenced Monday
night, is drawing good crowds, aud
promises to be a most interest ing
and successful one before it is over.
Rev. Shelter, who is doing the
preaching, is scholarly, entertain
ing speaker. Every sermon is a
treat; you should not fail to hear
him.
On Tuesday, Aug. 4th, w. H.
Waggoner, a National Evangelist,
will arrive in Hickman 10 assist in
these services. This gentleman is
one of the strongest men in the pull
pit or lecture platform, and you are
sure to appreciate his work. He
will be here one week. The Chris
tian people are exceptionally for
tunate in procuring the services of
these men.
Everybody has cordial invita-
tion to attend. AT present there are
two services Morning service
at 10 o'clock-evening services at 8.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1908-07-30
GIRLS DESIGN WINS.

AT the last meeting Of the Bay
onne Patriotic Monument associa-
ton il was announced that the de-
sign Of Miss Eleanor Esdie for the
proposed soldiers and sailors monu-
ment had been accepted by an unani-
nous vote Of the committee having
the matter in charge. The monu-
ment is to be erected in a conspicu-
GUS locality in Bayonne and many
sculptors submitted designs. Miss
Eadie is just ~ and was graduated
from the high school year ago. Be-
yond the circle Of her intimate
friends no one ever heard Of her
work as sculptor until her design
was offered in the competition sdyer-
tised by the association.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1908-07-30
MUskRATs ATTACK PlckNickeRs

A picnic was broken up by large
rats recently at Lafayette Island,
ON the Schuylkill. The 10 young
lady members Of the club with their
escorts landed ON the island in the
morning. All went well until after
noon, when swarms of muskrats be-
gan to appear and soon every table
held groups of frightened girls.
Miss Gertrude Barnett, Miss Alice
Wirnot and Miss Sara Hilson we're
all bitten by the rats. The picnick-
ers finally escaped in boats.-Phila-
delphia Press.
The Hickman courier. [volume] (Hickman, Ky.) 1859-current, 1908-07-30
URGES WARFARE ON PLAGUE
Surgeon General wymsn PoInts Out
Rapid spread Of Terrible
Oriental Disease.

The appalling spread Of the plague
since il made its appearance in Chi
ma in 1894 is made the subject Of
a report issued by Surgeon General
Wymsn at Washington in which he
warns the world Of the prevalence Of
this terrible disease. The deaths in
India alone last year numbered l.
100000, and from China the infec-
ton has spread until now cases are
found in SO countries. DIR. Wyman
urges an international warfare
against the plague, and especially
advocates the determination Of rats.
which, with the fleas they carry, are
believed to be the chief cause Of the
spread Of the disease. DIR. Wyman
recommends that all ships from
plague ports be kept at least a quar-
ter Of mile from shore until they
have been freed from rats There is,
of course, no likelihood that the
scourge viii ever obtain such foot
hold in America as it has in India,
but at the same time il is wise
policy to use vigorous measures to
keep il out. San Francisco's expert
ence has demonstrated that even in
this country it is not easily con-
trollad