The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1908-09-02

Florida, my Florida,
Cruel would have been the shaft
If cogs had slipped and plans askew
Had given you to Taft!
Once Upon A Time there lived a
Strenuous Young Female who had an
Itching to Butt Int Society.
She read People and Events each
day, and strove to be one of the Fluffy
Fair Creatures that the pretty little
Society Editor talked about, but still
she failed TO Make Good. In fact,
she was Strictly out of The Running
whenever a local society stunt was
Pulled Of, and She forthwith began
Taking Dots on the situation, and to
Get a Hunch on why She was Losing
Ou;
The Young Strenuous Female, Gen
tie Reader, had been an independent
Go Ahead sort of an Old Girl ever
since she had Taken the Bit Between
her Teeth, and had started out in the
Cold Cold World for herself.
When she boarded d street car. she
generally felt equal to Hosting her
own avoiTdupois UP the side of the
Concern. and scrambling to her part
of the five cents worth of Enjoy
ment and Good Exercise before her.
If she was In Luck, and happened to
have a Strong Right Arm at her ser
vice, which was probably just Aching
to assist in the Hosting Process.
she didn't hastily Spring the Simpler
ing Helpless Femininity Dodge, but
was probably up in Position before
her humble Would Be Meal Ticket
had Got Next to his Utter Useless
ness
Being Healthy young Person, She
failed to Pull off Stunts in the Sym
pathy Line very often, and her Male
Admirers, who were not admirers
very long, saw her devouring Beef
steak and Onions occasionally, when,
in their own Warped Judgment, she
should have occasionally simpered
over Some Pink Tea, or Something,
in a Fluffy RUff1ed Concern, with a
look of the Real Thing in the Dodder-
ing Eternal Feminine.
You Are Right She Was a Leath-
er Bound, Limited Edition of a Good
Fellow from the Word Go" but she
didn't Take"
Finally, and more Especially,
Agnes, when She got the Society
Bug" she Shook herself together one
day, looked straight in on the
Ground Floor of Her Personal Refiec-
tons and started in on New Tack.
After that, 1 want to Tell 1t To
You, she Made Good with a ven
geance. She got TO be the real Nee
tarine of the Season among the Ice
looked like a ColOred Registration list
befC~e election.
She was the Whole Show, Agnes.
and a Hundred To One Shot in the
Line of a Real Winner.
What had She done?
What Had She Done2
Ask Something Hardi
She no longer pretended to be
equal to the Awful Exertion of Get
ting on and off Street Cars without
leaning helplessiy on the Arm of
Some Handy and Willing Protector.
She Swilled Tea until her Complex
ion Began to Need the help of the
Druggist.
Under the Swilling Process. and the
Lack of Exercise, her health began
to look like an Election Cigar, and
she became the proper and approved
of object Of Pity AID Concern among
her Interested male admirers
When She went down town, She
put on the appearance of Wanting
TO Be Helped Along, and there was
at once a Half Dozen Tin Horn
Johnnies ready to Do the Stunt, and
" llOI tiiC DSd4 LiJtiS L HlLS
the Dangers of PalafOx Street.
When the. conversation occasional
" veered around into channels which
So probably knew more about in a
Minute than those who were Amusing
her would Get Onto All Summer, She
assumed an air of Helpless ImbeciI-
ity. and abstractedly made Spit Curls.
Was She a WINNER
Well / Guess Yes.
Why Was She a Winner?
Because She had at last Got Wise
to the fact thst Most Men Like to Be
FOolej-And Most Women Like To
Fool Them.
O|O-n
"I1 tell you one thing" said the
Pensacola man, as he composed him.
self in the dentists chair. You
needn't tell me I've got bad
mouth, because l know it. I'm quite
aware that it has been neglected. II
l had taken care of my teeth they
wouldn't be in bad condition and in
that case / shouldn't have had to