davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
Bloomsbury, Pa.

The healthy old man wears his ray
mars Ikea silver crown. What if he
ne threescore and ten if there is still
hre IN his eye, firmness in his step,
command in his voice and wisdom in
MS council? He commands love aud
reverence Yet how few wear the man
Tie OF age with dignity. Dim eyed,
querulous OF speech, halting IN step,
childish in mind, they alag supertlu-
Gus on the stage" dragging out the fas
emu OF lie IN simple eXistonce The
secret of healthy old age is healthy
middle age. The man who takes care
Oh MS stomach, who keeps his body
properly nourished, will find that the
nody does not fail him in old age.
Inc great value of DR.. Pierce's Golden
medical Discovery lies in the preservs-
li3h OF the working power Of the stom,,
acn and other organs of igestion ana
nutrition. From this center is distrl-
pu,eu the nourishment of the whole
oouy, the salt for the blood, the lime
lor the bones, phosphates for the brain
anu nerves. A sound stomach means
SOUND man. A man who keeps his
stomach sound by the use Golden
heulcal Discovery" will wear the
crown OF gray airs as BELTS mon
arcll, with dignity ana ease. Formula
printed Oh wrapper-not secret o
patent medicine" but of known com-
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
9O-Foot Stack Of Barley.

Garfield. Wash.-The largest stack
of barley, sacked and then piled up,
ever known in the history OF the
West was made near this place, the
result of a determined pool by the
farmers to hold their grain until
such a time as the market price was
enough to warrant them to sell At Q
profit. The stack OF grain was nine
ty feet high and much labor was s1-
pended In order that>th grain might
be piled In such a manner 10 enable
the whole to be covered with tarpas.
Inns.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
UNKISSED BABY PROTECTED.
Hicrobe-Ladcn Adults Not Permitted
to Spread Germs to Child.

London. England-An "unkissed'
baby boy is one of the remarkab bic
citizens of Bradford, in Yorkshire.
His parents hold strict views on the
hyg!enic raising of children. and
have framed set of rules for visit
tors who come to see the baby. so as
to guard the precious heir from con-
tact with microbe ?laden adults.
Displayed conspicuously on the
walls OF this unique infants home
the following injunctions:
Don't kiss the baby.
Don't handle the baby unless
your hands are very, very clean.
Don't bring baby's face close to
your own or to your hair.
Don't allow baby to touch your
face or hair.
Don't talk. breathe, whistle,
blow. cough or sneeze into baby's
face. We want him 10 live.
Don't use your Handkerchief 10
baby's hands. face or mouth.
ITO some these rules will appear
comical or stupid, but they are not
written as a joke or without thought.
Therefore any person infringing
these rules after having read them
will incur our extreme displeasure. 4"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
AEROPLANE FASHIONS.
Suggestions for AviatOr's Proper np-
pareI Just IssWed.


London, England. Fashions for
aeroplaning already claim the atten-
tion of London outfitters. The fol-
lowing suggestions for an aeroplan-
lists outfit have been given by a
West End maker of motor clothes.
The aeroplanist should wear
gaberdine coat with a thick fleecy
lining to keep out the cold. Over
that he might have a loose and thick
overcoat, buttoning very high around
the neck. For lining, opossum fur
would be the ideal thing, and the
gloves might also be lined with the
same fur.
For leg-covering pair of
breeches OF the same material as the
coat; and these, to keep out the
cold. should be tightly laced below
the knees. Thick stockings with fur
lined CATERS over them should keep
the wearer's feet warm.
For head covering the cap sup
piled to Arctic expeditions would
suit the aeroplanist. 1t is a knitted
woody cap covered with cloth with
ear flaps and flaps which could be
pulled out at will on either side of
the face to protect 1t against the
wind"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
HERE'S THE LOG Of
A Love PIRATE"
Being the Diary cf { ir' layo 'vcl
in Chicago Divorce, with
Shadow Kiss"
GIVES new POINTS cl LcYE
Writes ITS Awful 10 Have to r"'I
to n Kid That is silly About YOU
When You Really Need Ecs."---
Called "Sunny Mary"

Chicago. 1ll.-Mlss Mary McI.ain,
who was named in the successful
suit for divorce brought by Mrs. NJ
legretti. wife OF a candy manufac-
turer, has. in justification Of herself,
made public part of a diary which
she kept while she was employed as
MIR. Alegretti's secretary. She de-
termined on this after her employ
er's wife had called her love
pirate" At the trial Miss McLain be-
came known as the Shadow Kiss
err" witnesses testifying that they
recognized her shadow on the Office
curtains when Mr.. Allcgretti en-
bracei her
Here are some OF the extracts
from the young secretary's diary
IT'S awful to have to talk to
XII that's silly about you when you
really need rest. II takes young
oCl q" awful while to get wise to a
dilemma.
'"rhoso sad eyed men make me
wccYy. Ginger! All the fellows
that think I'm cute are married or
bald headed, or both.
ITS hard to be goood when the first
principle of life in the sweet, pure
air Of the farm is to sell cold stor-
age eggs for new laid.
"Td rather chase home a COW with
cookie burrs in her tail through a
wet pasture than go three blocks for
patent bottle of milk with all the
cream in one end.
IN thinking Of opening a mani
cure parlor for exclusive patronage
that means nothing less than IS.
Ma says the only people I'd set
would be lunatics. That's all right.
too, All the manicurcs would be
dead If 1t were not for the lunatics
IF kisses were ten dollar bills
what a merry world this would be,
Now this diary Is to tell just only
the absolute truth, and it's only for
me to read. because one doesn't dare
to tell the truth to ones friends. and
ones enemies aren't worth talking
to.
i've found out what love is. 1t
was in book written by man who
said he'd ben loved by more women
than he had fingers and toes. He
says love Is distemper. Gee, That's
what McClintock's pup had when his
hair fell out and they drowned him
because he couldn't die from chloro-
form. I think see my finish.
"Oh. believe | have found the
man. He's at least thirty-flve. but
he is the darlingest darling in Chica-
go, and he isn't married. When I
told Pa he said to wait q month or
two, because the worst spawned
horse looks all right in the twilight.
Pas getting to be a pessimist.
"Oh! little Mary, why is it that
all the women wait until they are
fifty and wear double lens glasses to
talk women's rights? | guess It Is
because they don't find the sleddin'
quite so easy as they used to.
Now, just think Of me morbid.
Why they called me Sunny Mary
from the time | was four, and the
first time ! ever can rememb Der being
real angry was when they fed my
milk toast to the Bishop because he
had bum teeth and I'd been crying
for 1t for over an hour. | was only
six then, but 1t shows you how they
rub it into the suffering little ones"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
BEARS ARE HARD DRINKERS
Bill Babcock Has Seen EN- and Ex.
plains the Evil Habit.

Bangor, Me.-"All the bears OF
! Penobscot County | have ever
known" said William Babcock. of
Bradley, feel as If they cannot den
up for the winter until after they
have had a protracted drunk from
eating crab apples that have stayed
on the trees cold nights until they
were frozen clear through and then
hung out and thawed in the sunlight
and repeated the operation until fer
mentation set In and the sweet cider
has turned to good imitation OF
oil Medford rum.
"Of course a bear that is real fat.
so fat that his eyes are closing IN
and making him blind. will stagger
away to some old blowndown and
hide away under the protecting
trunk OF rotting tree and 10 of
into It's snooze without any sleeping
potion; but an average bear that is
young and active seems to dread 60
ing TO sleep for six months on a
stretch, and puts 1t of as long as It
can and gets drunk and blundcrs
away to the nearest hiding place and
drops off to sleep in an intoxicated
stupor.
1T is too bad to have respecta-
Bile young bear that has passed the
summer in picking and eating ber-
ries, and that has put on It's last lay
er of fat from gathering and eating
mellow windfalls in the autumn or
chards, get into the habit of drinking
liquor.
An overdose of hard cider made
from fermcnted apple juice has the
same effect on bears that It does on
men. and makes them careless OF
their own welfare and quarrelsome
and generally disagreeable.
~ wish the Maine prohibitory
law could get at those ungathercd
apples and put a stop to drunken
ness among bears but / fear the re-
form movement will arrive too late
to do any good to the bears. have |
Killed two promising young bears |
because of their weakness for strong |
drink, and may secure two or thee /
more. though l am ashamed Of nay .
conduct"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
CUTS WAY OUT OF ICEBOX.
Butcher Nearly Frozen by Two Hours
of Imprisonment.

Oakland, Cal.-Fred. Lewis, q
local butcher, entered his icebox at
the close of business TO adjust his
stock and took along an axe.
A spring lock on the outside
slipped into place as the door slipped
from his hand, and he Immediately
began pounding and shouting for as
sistancc. The intense cold rendered
him numb. and he finally, after two
hours Imprisonment, attacked the
walls with the axe.
Neighbors who heard the muffled
blows believed that burglars were
operating, and as Lewis crawled
through the hole he had made he
was confronted by a policeman, TO
whom he explained the situation.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
MAC CRACKEN Is FOR MARRIAGE
Criticises Professor for Calling IL
Suicide OF Love.

Chicago,-College professors who
promulgate new and startling the
ories on marriage and divorce are de-
nounced as sensation-mongers and
seekers after notoriety by Chancellor
MacCracken of New York University
In letter to a Chicagoan who form
erly was student OF New York Uni
vers..y.
Professor MacCracken scores Pro-
fe,Soc Edward d, Monroe of Leland
Stanford University for his pessimis-
tic conception OF the marriage rela-
tioa in America and takes him to
task for asserting in a recent lecture
before a womans club in Chicago
that marriage was the suicide of love
IN the United States.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
FOOL WOMEN Ar ARMY ruolS


! bo Nttt hiTHl lHdu .sll wv Ns' H.
Cincinnati, Ohio.-"One fool wo-
man can mako moro trouble In an
army post than all the officers and
/ ren," eail Gca II. c. Corbin. former
\ ftut General L. S. A, discussing
tie Hains murder case.
Cen. Corlin had been asked for
his opinion OF the sensational stories
of orgies at Fort Hamilton. y. Y, as
told in the supposed letters OF Mrs.
Hams to her husband.
But Mrs. Hams says the letters
arc r0rgeries," was the reply.
such things as are described as
occurring at Fort Hamilton were un-
known in my time in the army, and
] left It only year and a half ago"
said the General 1T seems incredi-
bic that such things could happen.
particularly at Fort Hamilton. right
under the eye of the Inspector Cen
eral, right under the shadow OF de-
partment headquarters, right under
the nose of the municipal police
But one fool woman can make
all the officers and men. We can
control the latter. but we cannot
control the woman. There were sew
eral srch cases In my time, gHl We
had TO get rid of the officers in order
TO get rid of the women. hal oaa
such case out in the Philippines, AMI
had TO pursue the only course open
to me. 1t is my wife's fault sail
the officer when before ne.
No doubt | repliel; but we
can't control her and you cant con
trol her. but we can control you
"No resigned. This Hains case is
distressing. | understood the mar
r!a4e was unhappy all the way
through. But those letters, they
don't seem as letters natural for "A
wife to write TO her husband. They
look more like letters manufr cturcl
for the purpose of creating symra-
thy, and, perhaps. furnishing n pos
sible incentive to insanity, temporary
or otherwise"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
SPORTS A DISEASE"
School Athletes Exalted to Demlgods.
Says Chicago Educator.

Chicaso.-Football, basket ball
and American sports in general have
become a national disease. according
TO President o. c. Schneider of the
Chicago Board of Education. He was
led to this declaration through the
criticism of Superintendent of
Schools Cooley, who complained of
the physical culture work in the
high schools.
"Our system of sports in the high
schools Is anything but educational" !"
said Mr.. Schneider. The youngsters
that do the playing are taught that
they are better than their fellows. II
they can beat some one else they are
exalted like demigods. 1t has reached
u time when so-called sport IL really
. disease"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
Uncovers Mastodon's Tooth.

Morocco, lnd.-While digging a
ditch In Colfax township, Lewis
Guthrie unearthed part OF the
skeleton OF mastodon, among which
was a tooth that measured nine
Inches In length and five inches in
width and weighed almost ten
pounds. The tooth is we'll preserved.
Many other bones OF mastodons have
ben unearthed near here in the last
three or four years.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
False Teeth, Armor Plate.

Selingsgroye, PA great chance
for advertising is presented to a dsn.
tai man here whose fales teeth saved
the life Of Isaac Sprenkle, OF Middle
Creek township, Snyder County.
a glancing bullet, shot by a rabbit
hunter, punctured Sprenkle's lower
lip, and would have penetrated the
roof of his mouth had not its momen-
tum been arrested by striking .
stout set of false teeth.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03

The rafting of turkeys in
Wilkes Barre during the holiday
period, has been stopped by Mayor
knitten. In past years it has been
carried on extensively by saloon
Keepers and others. A committee
from the Retail Merchants Asso.
ciation waited upon Mayor Kniffen
and said that rafting hurt their
business, and he agreed to stop it .
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
USe Cane for I,aths.

Washington. d. Consul Rich
ard NJ. Bartleman. Of Madrid. re-
ports that the use of canes for laths
for plastering purposes is general
throughout Spain. and that they are
durable and give most satisfactory
results. In Valencia bamboo cut
into strips Is also used. is very strong
and holds the plaster well.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
NEW GEOLOGICAL THEORY.
Scientist Ascribes Surface Moraines
On Glaciers to Accrctions.

Oh NsatItTs 10 tCCfctlOns.
New Haven, Comm his lee
ture in the Stillman course at Yale
Professor Penck, OF Berlin, advanced
the theory, new to geologists in this
country, that the surface moraines
of glaciers are formed OF accumula-
tions of rock and debris taken from
the bottom during its course in the
higher levels and not. as has been
supposed. by rocks dropping from
above upon the upper surface.
BY series Of diagrams and photo
that the medal and surface moraines
come from the lateral, instead Of
vice versa, the theory held by geo.
logists.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
REGICIDE'S WILL FOUND.
Assassin OF Carlos Bequeathed His
Children His Name and Compassion.

Assassin OF Carlos Bequeathed His
Children His Name and Compassion.
Lisbon Portugal.-The will o,
Manuel Silva Buissa the man who
assassinated King Carlos, has been
discovered in this city. 1t was writ
ten evidently in anticipation OF his
death. and gives instructions as TO
how his children were to be notified
of his demise.
He said he had no property 10
leave his children other than my
name, my respect, and my compass
sion for those who suffer. | beg
that my children be brought up In
the principle OF liberty. equality,
and fraternity, for which they viii
soon become orphans"
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03
wap 100 Horses in 100 Minutes.

Amerlcus, Ga.-The annual meet
OF the Horse Swappers' Associa-
was held in Americus, one hun
d horses being swapped in as
ny minutes. More than a dozen
uties were represented.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03

Gard signs mo Trespassing" Tor
sa'e at this office. They are print
ed IN accordance with the late act
OF 1903. Price 5 cents each. tt
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03

QuiCh CLIMATIC CHANGES .ry strong
constitutions and cause, among other
eSlis' hasal catarrh, a troublesome and
onehsiVe disease. Snoezing aud snuf.
hlng. coughing and difficult breathing,
ana the drip, drip of the foul DISCHARGE
U into the throat all are ended by Elyis
cream balm. This honest remedy con.
,aihs no cocaine, mercury, or other
harmful ingredient The worst cases
yieid TO treatment in a short time
All druggists, soc, or mailed by Ely
Bros, oo Warren Street, New York.
some PEOPLE only tell the truth when
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03

III unparalleled offer is made new subscribers and
Sample copies free. Address: ~ 'y '
THE COLUMBIAN. p,oo,,sh,,r,, p.
The Columbian. [volume] (Bloomsburg, Pa.) 1866-1910, 1908-12-03

Some people only tell the truth when
they think it is going to hurt.
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1908-12-17

with mortified eyes and his face as desperate as if he had found me struck by lightning or gored by the black and white bull.
 I was so ashamed and confused that couldn't speak, but just sat there gazing up helplessly at him, with tears running down my cheeks and my lips trembling The most awful look came into his eyes, and he went as pale as l was red.
 My precious One-my darlingi" he stammered, and, dropping down on one knee by the big log, he put his arms around me.
 oh" I said And then my head was nestling down into his neck. and instead of being wretched I was per fectly happy.
 Who has dared to make you cry?' he asked, holding me close.
 You" l answered. "IY
 Il thought you were only being kind , 10 LDe DeCd uSe-DecduSp you Te dU American and it's your duty to for eigner"
 He laughed at that-an excited. hap py laugh, with queer break in it. i've been half out of my mind with love for you ever since the first day ] saw you looking down at me in the steerage. Am l quite out of 1t now or can it be true that you care for me just q little, little bitf"
 T care for you dreadfully." said I Why, this Isn't friendship, is it? Its being in love"
 'I should think it was-with me, he said. "Ifs all of me-heart, sou and body-drowning in love"
 Don't drown" I whispered to him "I can't spare you"
 After that We didn't say word, but I hadn't supposed it was possible fol any human creature to feel so seraph ically happy as I did. 1 don't know
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1908-12-17

genial to him than you are and that the best thing for him would be to fall fin love with her.
 MT. Brett has known Patty for long time, and, though he hasn't been here often, he has made flying visits sometimes, l know, and even Patty and Ide both call him "Jim," never MT Brett. I reminded myself as thought 1t all over that probably one reason why he wanted to stay with fiia cous- ins now was to see Patty again, not in the least because of his friendship with me- which is quite recent thing compared to his acquaintance with Patty. I was so jealous of Patty, be- cause she could perhaps take away my best friend and have him for her lover, that all her pretty ways and looks quite annoyed me, and I felt I could have slapped her.
 Such feelings made me hate myself, for 1t is so unpleasant finding out sud denly that you are brute. Yet I would not indulge my wicked heart by telling Patty that she ought to marry Mir. Walker l could scarcely eat any breakfast or dinner, and early In the afternoon I crept out of doors, very miserable. felt that Vivqce was the only being on earth who really cared for me, and even he was more interest ed at the time in rabbit hole he had found than in my society. He wouldn't come away from 1t when called, so I bundled him under my arm and walk ed off with hia to the sugar camp, where I could be alone and think things over without having people say 1 looked pale and ask whether the ice cream festival at Hermann's Corners had given me headache
 sat there in the deep green shade of the naples on the log where MT Brett and I had talked the first day came to the Valley farm. All the dis agreeable things that ever happened to me since l was a child took this 0p- portunity to stir in their graves and come to life again. Then they sat down in front of me in a dreary semi circle. staring me in the face until couldn't stand it any longer and be- gan to cry. Vivace was very much surprised and jumped up, with his paws in my lap. as if he were saying, |. What is the matter?" This was a comfort. and put my head down on his, with my arms around his neck, and cried more.
 If you once let yourself go like that, you can't stop. Hearing your own little chokes and gasps makes you pity yourself so much that your heart nearly breaks. I was sobbing out loud presently, which made Vivace whine, and I had almost begun to en- joy my utter forlornness and the dis tinction of being the most miserable person in the whole world when dis tracted voice exclaimed:
 Why Lady Betty, Lady Betty, for heavens sake what's happened"
 looked up, all teary and flushed, and there was Mir. Brett staring at me
Waterbury evening Democrat., 1908-12-17
A QUEER WO0ING.
WhistIsr's offhand Wedding and the
 Brides Seant Trousseau.


 I4abouchere's claim that he brought about the marriage of Whistler is thus recorded in the Life of Whistler"
 believe I am responsible for Whis- tiers marriage to the widow of Mir. Goodwin, the architect. She was a re- markedly pretty woman and very agreeable, and both she and he were thorough bohemians. was dining with them and some others one even- ing at Earl's Court They were ob- viously greatly attracted to each oth- CT, and in vague sort of way they thought of marrying. So I took the matter in hand to bring things to practical point.
 Jimmy" I said. twill you marry Mrs. Godwin?"
 Certainly he replied.
 Mrs. Godwin," I said, will you marry Jimmy"
 Certainly" she replied.
 "When?" asked.
 "Oh, some day. said Whistler.
 That won't do," said. We must have a date"
 So they both agreed that I should choose the day, what church to come to for the ceremony, provide the cler- gyman and give the bride away. fixed an early date and got the then chaplain of the house of commons, the Rev Mir Byng, to perform the ceremony
 It took place few days later.
 After the ceremony was over we ad- journed to Whistler's studio, where we had prepared banquet. The ban quet was on the table, but there were no chairs. So we sat on packing cases. The happy pair when I left had not quite decided whether they would go that evening to Paris or remain in the studio.
 How impractical they were was shown when I happened to meet the bride the day before the marriage fin the street.
 Don't forget tomorrow" said.
 "No,' she replied; "I am just going to get my rousseau"
 "A little late for that, is 1t not?" | asked.
 "No," she answered, flor I am only going to buy a new toothbrush and a new sponge, as one ought to have new ones when one marries."