Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-08-16

carnage, suffering, capture. and vic
tory, he writes about with fluency.
How soon II is that tne American
public hear the news OF this great VIC
tory! How soon 1t Is they realize
I that the hill which was once fertile Is
now turned into miniature Red Sea!
How soon they realize that thousands
gave up their lives for their country
in that far off waste! THE number OF
dead actually being two-and one
man removed from the field on &C
count Of severe tOOthacheD How soon
they hear that the general practically
won the battle alone. between the pnffS
OF his cigar! And how soon do they
realize that one faitcred here ana
another stopped to tie his shoe on
1.-THE way up the hill!
! The war correspondent has become
of considerable more Importance TO the
armies and navies OF the world thah
the leaders, for without him there
, would be no leaders. The general al
WAYS goes In the house to get him a
cigar, not daring to give him one
which he carries around in his pock'
ct He is always treated with inc
greatest amount Ct consideration anu
fore-thought. and even should he "i'h
to he might marry the general
daughter. No army ever starts out
NOWADAYS without first making proper
arrangements for the war correspond
ent Ammunition. comfort CT the
. soldiers. are practically a secohdar!
; consideration. If the war correspoha-
en-; has fruit out of season anu
heavy and comfortable Mattress the
army Is ready to advance. The gen
eral avproaches him as he sits on the
bum rock
well. general. YOU did we'll today
remarks Daring Dick.
, The General Is Modest.
"Why, ii was mere incident todas,
answers the general; but II lou would
like to know exactly what happened
y ,who was nearly mile ahead Of
NV menl can tell You. >,
Go on; forgot to .eave a can
inst before the battle, so l slept
through it. Any. information which
you have to give me will use at
once
while | do not wish my own name
mentioned in your articles. Will
tell YOU the story of the battle. ! was
=, sitting in my tent when bomb
struck near me. knocking a hard-Do1ieo
egg and a bottle Of beer out OF my
hand. The egg was of little moment!
Ii,.izfng thst phe nttle was on. !
r,,shed out, and In an instant was al
the head of my command. The Span
iards ran and suddenly found mysen
so far ahead Of my troops that l was
at the Standards outpost. One OF 'he
scntinels, who was brakeman on 'he
same car which l was conductor Vi.
recognized me. and letting out yen
IN. attention of the entire camp to
my process
Noticing here that the war cor
resnondept was taking down verbatim
what he said, he continued:
mot second to the bravery ot Napo
leon at Waterloo was the great anu
daring achievement accomplished ny
Gen. Runwell today.
Are YOU writing this story or an
To- questioned the war correspondent
And NAV ask, was there any one
else in the battle besides yoursei
The stage war correspondent makes
Rockefeller look like piker. so lar
as the distribution and spending u
money is concerned. The chartcrihs
of a steam Yacht. a special raliroao
train a balloon-in fact. saying any
thing short Ct paying the government
deb, is a mere .rifle for MIN.
Get me a flock of balloons ne
orders. and have me met at Mania ny
a special train; have sea-going MOI
or-boat there to take me out to De"e!
fleet understand he Is about to des'
troy the spanish forts and it might oe
some diversion to watch II.
}, He IL the Delight Of the Audience.
The war correspondent is the defsht
: of the audience. as he usually mas
absolutely no connection with the
nlav. He comes in and on wheh
ie chooses, ami though al! the girls
are crazy about him, yet he Is true
to his loved one at home whom nc
doesn', know has married In his an
sence.
4 The stage sailor we always recos
). nize al once because he IS dressed
as one Of our man % was jackies. ana
reminds us Of him because he acts
: so differently. He usually comes III
dancing a jig and singing horn
} pipe with his arms crossed over ms
Ghesn One woull think that Vl''
first training that Uncle Sam gives
to his men is 10 put them through o
thorough course at a dancing school.
tt. caller is alvays pulling up his
trousers. one hand at one side ana
one at the other. and II really
would be a good relief TO the poor
fellow IL some one would send him
', s,ropz pair NJ susper5crs. He Is