davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1908-08-27

of predatory wealth and privilege,
which have made il a morass in
the production of ill-gotten and
swollen fortunes, and have divert
ed its powers and functions from
the righteous purposes of govern
ment to the selfish objects of Ger
tain interests which have repaid
the government by precipitating a
panic in which innocent and guilty
suffer alike.
We announce our conviction
that the people are now ready to
correct these great evils by a re-
turn to the principles OF a Demo-
cratic government administered
for all and not for a few, and that
for this task they have selected
the great tribune of the people,
William J Bryan, whose integrity,
courage and understanding of the
rights and needs OF the people
qualify him above all men for this
great satisfaction that we endorse
the work of the Denver conven-
ton, and the sound and progress
sive platform Of principles, and
pledge our candidate the utmost
vigor and sincerity Of support.
This is a republic, not a mon
archy, where men hold Office for
life. According to the constitu-
ton, representatives hold Office for
two years, and if it had been con-
sidered wise for them to hold Office
for eight, ten or twelve years, cleo
ton every two years would not
have been thought necessary.
Speaking for the citizens Of the
Sixth district, without regard to
party, this convention expresses
ItS COW 'Et'o" ina. 10 Iepi ese''."-
NV 7'i''''" o'''''' Il .'-' '''' :" :
Office for ten or twelve years, and
~" ! 'le 'V9s''' '"e '''','ei'' - ~
lating all the precedents Of this
0i9li ~ |" SeeN1's - '''Oo''0 ''i''i-
81! !'i " 7'-\'" VI H.
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'no"'0 many q ii''io'0,y VI '"1
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MOI eN ei''S "''I"'i9 'iI0 MANY 70'i9
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/" we us o''./0''o VI 'Nc u'9'' 'C''
II = '-o'i ( VI l''' y ~ J''ii ,'o III
~ 60 II my "' '''e ~ resent Gnu .'"l
u p1i9o""! ''io''oI''i9 III "a at o''I0e,
MS" We "0-'s'1 SCI 0' Nv S''0
P''D,'0 '"' i'ooV.
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'--> ,''~ - " WHY - ''''' wa
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The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1908-08-27

rotate his crops. There are in
stances of public men of such ex-
traodinary ability and unusual
knowledge of public affairs that
the people as a whole may well
think they would lose in making
a change, but these cases are rare.
Our constitution was plainly in
tended to break up the m0narchial
idea ofpersonal monopoly IN office,
and for the purpose requires cleo
ton every two years. And this
principle in the past has been fair
ly we'll respected in the Sixth Dis
triCt, am informed no individual
having held the Office of represen-
tative for more than four terms, as
in the case of Judge McComas, a
man of remarkable ability. The
present incumbent of the office has
already held it for five terms, ten
years under substantial protest
from his own party, and now seeks
to extend the unprecedented num-
Der of six terms, twelve years, a
half generation of uninterrupted Of
feel holding,
In this he opposes net only the
wishes of a large element Of his
own party, the spirit and healthy
operation Of a Republican form Of
of government. The office is in
fact retained not as the result Of
spontaneous wishes of the members
Of the Republican party, but, by
force of tactical or artificial major
ity largely made up from the or,
ganization and management of
subordinate Office holders who are
also opposed to the limited term
fixed by the law. Let this meth
cd once be successful and you
have Mexicanized the Sixth dis
trict only to introduce the habits
OF Mexican policies, where Repub-
lican government has become moth
ing but an empty name. Other
questions there are which concern
the country as whole of which l
shall later frankly state my views
but the grave question as to
whether the representative from
this district is 10 hold the Office
according to the spirit of mon
archial or Republican form of
government is one which only the
citizens of the Sixth Congressional
district of Maryland can decide.
The resolutions adopted were:
The Democratic party, in con-
vention assembled, felicitates the
the Jarty and the people upon the
the selection Of William ]. Bryan
and John w. Kern as the standard
bearers of the party in the great
struggle Of the people to recover
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1908-08-27

there was something funny in
everything wrong we would be put I.
in good spirits by visit to the
Jail and the asylums. Pain or
great suffering accompanying a
wrong vital humor. Any COT flict-
ing emotion, as sympathy, hate or
love, spoils the effect. Nobody
laughs when he is afraid or angry.
The appreciation OF humor belongs
to mind that is free of care and
ready for an intellectual frolic.
The merely silly will not do for
real humor, although odes to the
purple COW and jabberwock stuff
and limericks appeal to many in
tellects. The obviously wrong
statement IS silly and has no pow
er to raise a laugh. The humor-
Gus lies somewhere between the
extremes of absolute truth and alb
solute untruth. There must be
similarity or resemblance between
facts and the humorous statement.
The wrong idea must keep within
fair distance OF the right. The
similarity must be new and un-
expected sort. a similarity which
actually deceives does not make a
joke.
The answer to theriddle. why
is a stick of candy like a horse?"
The more you lick it the faster
it goes illustrates an artificial
resemblance Of words, linking the
true with the false in a humorous
manner. The pun is a low form
of humor based on the similarity
OF sound between words and no
other ground OF likeness. Parody,
burlesque and farce exaggerate the
right or standard concept bv put
ting an undue burden of ridicule
on the wrong. II similarity or
resemblance is the base Of humor,
it might be argued that humor is
deception. As matter of fact,
whether the humorist is lair or
not depends on his audience. II
the audience is deceived, he is
liar,
Former analyses Of the problem
have held that man laughs because
he enjoys the counterfeit and frau
duIent or because he rejoices in
his superior smartness over others
in catching a point. But it is
evident that this is not so. Man
laughs because his mind, being
alert, detects the fraud, and with
/ pleasure repudiatcs it. He does
not ENJOY the contemplation Of the
wrong, but its detection and re-
/ pudiation.
Naturally, there must be COM
mon standards of right and wrong,
/ as well as the same grade of in
telligcnce between him who jokes
and him who laughs. Here
comes a fool; let's be grave" said
Charles Lamb, meaning that there
was no common ground for the
play of just between the man of
intellect and the fool. Every
trade, every section and every ma
ton has its own jokes depending
on its own peculiar standards of
the normal and the abnormal. As
the world changes opinions alter,
and each new era produces its
bumor appropriate to the prevail
ing ideas. Once the knight was a
serious figure: Don Quixote made
him funny when his economic
usefulness had passed, and now he
is out of date for any purpose.
The slave was formerly | ,ghed
at. Today the tramp and the
mother-in- share the honors,
but it IS evident they can not serve
Indefinitely. Conclusion might
be drawn from the vaudeville jests
at the expense of politicians and
the heaven-and-hell theory -
Philadelphia Press.
The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1908-08-27
REAL ESTATE BARGAINS
l offer for sale

FARM OF 147 ACRES, 3 miles from Oakland good
Groom House; plenty OF water; cleared;
about 25 of grass; Orchards, bearing IS
of White Oak Timber; R, F. D. mail service.
COTTAGE OF 6 ROOMS for sale Mt Lake Park.
HOUSE AND LOT on Oak Street Oakland for sale
House of roons-Lot 5OxI so feet with
Stable and all necessary Outbuildings.
FOUR VERY DESIRABLE BUILDING LOTS situated
Liberty Street, in Oakland. Also DWELLING
HOUSES Liberty Street, with good water and all
necessary outbuildngs.
HOUSE AND LOT Wilson Street. House of rooms;
good Lot $50 feet front. Best Outbuldings
in Oakland.
VERY GOOD FARM mile from Oakland-all under
fence; containing 81 acres about IS under cultiva-
ton fine Orchards and about IN in small
Fruit; Houses very good Well and a never failing
Spring very desirable place for Truck and Poultry
Farming. Can be bought at low price just
have for sale IS of the very best Building Lots the
town which will sell tor cash-or S. down and S.
per month.
$50 ACRES OF VALUABLE COAL Ian D situated less
than two miles of Oakland which be bought
great bargain The surface would make fine farming
land This land is we'll waered with and
several good springs.
~ MORE CHOICE BUILDING LOTS S. down and
S. per month.
If you cash for your Real Estate, Real Estate
for your cash, let me hear from you
ras- For further particulars call on or address
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23


disappearance from his home sincl
Jan 27.
Conductor Wheeler and Mrs. Wheel
or formerly resided in Cairo on Wal
nut street and are we'll known here
Chief of Police Egan received word
yesterday from the chief of police a;
East ST. Louis asking aid In thu
search for the missing man.
II is not known whether Wheeler
met with foul play or committed sui
eide He is about ) feet Z inches
tall. has brown hair with bald spot
on top of his head, his eyes are brown
and deep set When last seen he wore
a dark gray suit. had bright red
chest protector. long brown over
ceat and black Knox derby H.
has three gold teeth and bridge work
on upper side.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23
MODEL LICENSE
FOR ALL SALOONS
CAIRO WHOLESALERS PREPAR.
ING TO PUSH CAMPAIGN FOR
REFORM MEASURE.
AUT0MATI RENEWAL
OF License Expected to Take Saloon
Out Of Politics-Obcdicnc to
Law to BE Exacted.

Louisville KY, Feb. 22.-Realizin
the need for thorough and immediat
Organization throughout the Unite
States, the National Model Licens
! league is actively pushing its men
bership, as we'll as its publicity can
|paign, and is In communication wit
1.-THE following Cairo firms: Farnbake
& Co, Louis Herbert Lazarus & Mas
sauer. New York Store Mercantil,
company Schulz Drug company, II
lSmyth & Co., aud the Cairo Brewin,
company.
Model license which promises tt
lreyoutionize the liquor trade is based
the retailer Given License which ii
continual as long as the laws arc
obeyed, and automatically revoking 1t.
| self on the second conviction Of VIC,
lation of law, it is assured that the
retailer will have no incentive to vic.
late the law. If he should be tempted
to disregard the regulations of society.
he loses his license and ceases to be
a disturbing factor. The system does
not advocate high license. It is be.
lieyed that ii the license is too high
this would operate to compel the re-
taller to sell aduterated goods.
The automatic renewal of the
license Is regarded as one of the
strongest features of the model IL
cense system. as It would practically
remove the saloon from politics. One
of principal objections to the salon
has been its influence on politics and
office holders Men elected to office
through the efforts of saloon keepers
are not prone, rs a RE, to rightly en-
force laws for the punishment of
saloon Keeps who infringe the laws
The proposed model license law
would permit all licenses in operation
at the time Of the passage Of the law
to remain in effect, but would pro.
hibit the issuing Of any new license
until the proportion Of population be-
comes 500 to each saloon. No license
could he renewed. and no
license holder once deprived of his
license could obtain another,
4 A clarse for the protection of the
saloon keeper and the public is that
which provides for the punishment of
any minor over Is years old who shall
'epresent himself to be of age in !,
rider to obtain an Intoxicating drink. |
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23
Says Married Women
Are Faded Flowers

Is 1t SO? "A number OF doctors OF
big practice were asked whether II
was trueithat women lost their charm
freshness, and good looks soon after
they were married.
In many cases" said one physi-
clan, this Is partly true. have noted
1t with my own patients, but there's
both reason and "a remedy for It,
am talking especially OF married
women who have no children. The
childless wife ages more rapidly often
than the mother of large family
because she grows careless about her
monthly function, becomes irregular
and let's the Irregularities continue
without feeling any alarm. All the
while her nature is being undermined,
Her face begins to show the marks
OF fatigue, an expression of melan.
choly Is observed and this, added
to the fear that some ferlcus female
disorder is threatening, works the
change. In all such cases prescribe
Fluid Extract Black Haw, / ounce;
Alpen Seal, 2 ounces Pure Water,
S ounces. To be taken in teaspoonful
doses three times >dailY and at bed.
time for several days before; during
and after the period. Can be had from
all good Adpg sists Sensitive women
prefer buying an eight ounce bottle |
and tie two Ingredients separately
and do. their own mixing at home.
Other; doctors assert that married
women who take the Alpen Seal Pre-
scription remedy retain, their youth
and good looks and do not wither
away. 1T seems to act as a tonic |
to the female tract and relieves wo- T
men OF those harassing, nervous fore
bodings," say a famous English ply
stefan. One Of my patients to whom
prescribed Alpen Seal was in a very
bad way She had been going along
for two or three years, her face was II
haggard; drawn, Respondent face +;
of young women. In less than
three months her countenance re i
gained its former CHEEKY and happy '
expression, much to the delight of her {
husband and friends.' Alpen Seal is /
found in the most temperate homes q
because it contains no alcohol The |
best druggists keep 1t, or ought to-
II yours doesn't, have him send to
his pharmaceutical supply house for t
It.. p r ffp
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23
GOVERNOR HUGHES
...... IN CHICAGO
ADDRESSES UNION LEAGUE CLUB
OF CHICAGO ON ISSUES OF
~ THE DAY. f.aR
RAILROAD REGULATION
Favored With Jail Sentences for o.
tenders Against Interstate Com
merce LaW--Asainst
Socialism.

Chicago, Feb 22.-At the Unior
league meeting in the auditorium to
night, Governor Hughes of New Yorl
spcne to great gathering, paying 3
high tribute to George Washington
and touching upon questions now be
fore the people OF the country. He
said in part: ,,t..
Against Socialism.
VA 1t must be a policy consistent with
the genius Of cur institutions. The
people OF this, country do not desire
Socialism even as an experiment,
They.do not propose to pass through
a dreadful. quarter of an hour" of
changes to satisfy them
selves OF those imperfections OF hui.
man nature of which they are already
well appraised. and which make impos.
sible the permanent constitution of
society in accordance with socialistic
theory We must make progress and
It must be steady and consistent, con.
serving what Is good and safeguarding
he opportunities for honest effort.
otherwise gains will be offset by uu-
necessary losses and expert account
lnts may search in vain for a credit
balance. We may accomplish needed
'eforms by making our institutions
work as they We're intended to work
nd by effecting, in the light of the |
BENEFITS thus secured, such changes
S experience may commend and de |
Iborate judgment may approve.
Supervision of Railroads,
1t must also be taken to be Il set |
led policy that there shall be com
iete, effective and just supervision! OF [
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23
HIDDEN DANGERS.
Nature Gives Timely Warnings Tha,
No Cairo Citizen Can Afford
to ldnore

| al to Ignore.
DANGER SIGNAL NO, / comes
from the kidney secretions They will
warn you when the kidneys are sick
| Well kidneys excrete clear. amber
fluid Sick kidneys send out a thin
| pale and foamy, or thick, red, i'll
smelling urine, full of sediment and
| irregular of passage.
DANGER SIGNAL, NO. 2 comes
from the back. Back pains, dull and
heavy, or sharp and acute, tell You OF
|sick kidneys and warn you of the APP
|proach of dropsey, diabetes and
Bright's disease. Doan's Kidney Pills
cure sick kidneys and cure them per-
manently. Here's Cairo proc::
B. f. Wright, of 2942 Park avenue,
Cairo, ILL.,, says; Il take pleasure In
telling the public that Doan's Kidney
Pills which procured at Schuh's drug
store cured me Of kidney and bladder
trouble Ct several years standing and
which other remedies failed to relieve.
/ have every reason to know that
Doan's Kidney Pills act as represented
and ! am glad to say that | have net
had an attack since using them and
this is the first out of ten years that
| have been free from kidney trouble.
am feeling splendidly and give
Doans Kidney Pills all the credit
For sale by all dealers. Price 50
cents. Foster-Milburn Co, Buffalo |
New York, sole agents for the United
States = Aeaas'a.s ssA4'ss.ts 'ses'Nf
Remember the name-Doan Sand
AXE no other. 4
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23
Favora Jail Sentence.

The punishment is most salutary
when visited uson The guilty indiyi-
Kew men aeaa be hired ito go
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23
Hair on Face,
Neck and Arms
Removed BY the New Principle
0cJlliruclc

tnvrltiinn ~ medcn ssicncc II Il ,he snly seenti6
aud pfsftt way 70 des,eY hair, polt va te time !,
betinenlng yih oleitlysis. ray aud depiiatorisa
These arc offered yon ~ the gAkk WOGD ot,be op.t.
aloS and mannii, iufc,s lc Muacle ~ ndi, II h 10
only method witch q idnrse " ihysiti ahs s eo,ts
dermaolegs', medical jsuralls and ro,nlnent ma..t
zines. 30
lo Miracle mailed sealed In piau wr,npsr for & ~,
Your tnonry bach without luesu, ino tal apel II f,i
todo thhi y tanned ~ i Booklet nee 10 llan scale.
New York. :
hirdrcssefs, add VA
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23

our railroads. do not believe In ar
| bitrary action with regard to these
important concerns either by congress
lor by state legislatures or by com
missions Tho railroads are not the
enemies but the servants of the PEG
pie. 10 secure proper service they
must be subject to regulation 1t
must be taken as firmly established
that the evils OF rebating and of unjust
discrimination will not be tolerated
and that adequate and impartial ser.
vice upon reasonable terms will be
insisted upon. There must be machin.
cry through which public obligations
as defined by law may be enforced
This can best be obtained through an
administrative board such as, the In,
terstate commerce commission. The
question of rates must be determined
after full consideration of all perth.
fent facts to the end that the require.
ments of impartialty and reasonable
ness may be complied with, while ar
the same time a fair return to the
owners OF the property may be as.
sured Nothing should be lacking in
administrative powers for the attain
ment of these objects.
Stop Unfair Practices.
AT the same time we desire to put
an end to unfair practices. unjustifi-
able preferences and oppressive pro.
ceedings, by which apart from proper
economic advantages or superior skill
in industry rivals are barred from
equal opportunities and thrust out of
the way or destroyed. This country |
is full of men with q talent for in
lustry. They are entitled to a fair |
show. No one can complain if his
rival has larger factory greater
skill in management, more economical |
processes, or turns out better wares.
But in free country it is intolerable 4
hat one should be denied equal ac.
'ess to markets by discriminating
ates or allowances, or that he should Il
re the victim of a conspiracy to de-
rive him of his business. or that he
hould be crushed by the misuse of
arge aggregations of capital in I'M
air competition. Nor should a prem IL
1m be placed upon such practices or
n incentive be given to extortiou BY I
ermitting the piling up of securities
'hich do not fairly represent value
nd upon which returns cannot be
AIMED by fair means.
Fayora Jail Sentence.
The punishment is most salutary :
hen visited uson The guilty indiyi1 :
uals.Nl Few mon can be hired to. 90
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23

1t must also be taken to be set.
tied policy that there shall be com
piete, effective and Just supervision OF
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23

to jail, And If oifenses which public
sentiment recognizes. to be Of grave
character are punished by imprlson
ment, the law is more likely to be
obeyed and the punishment to have
Its intended effect.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23

Remember the lianie-7Doan San
take no other.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23
PRECIPITATION
AND TEMPERATURE
IN SOUTHERN ILLINOIS COUNTIES
SHOWN TO BE ExTRAoRplN-
AIRY IN 1907-LAST KILLING
FROSTS IN APRIL.

4
The annual summary for 1907 has
| Just been issued by the Illinois sec
ton of the Chronological service of
the u. S weather bureau. II gives a
series of valuable tables showing the
weather conditions in various sections
of the state. Cairo is in section of
the state embracing twenty counties
| in whole or in part, where the rain
fall of the year measured from 45
to 30 inches. At Cairo 1t was 45.5S
inches. In a tier of counties along
the Ohio river, comprising Massac,
Pope, Hardin, Saline. GaIlatin and the
larger part of Johnson, the total rain.
fall was over so inches. the heaviest
in the state. AT Golden, in Union
county, 1t was 1852 inches; New
Burnside. in johnson county, it was
5032 inches; Raum. in Pope county.
54,i7 inches.
Temperature.
The mean temperature for February
was 3sS at Cairo, s.G6 at Golden. 365
at New Burnside, 1854 at Raum. The
lowest temperatures in February at
these points in 1907 were: Cairo 10,
Golden 5. New burnside 90, Raum 26,
all occurring in the early part of the
month.
3 Killing Frosts.
The last killing frosts occurred at
Cairo April il. at Golden April 20. at
New Burnside April n. and at Raum
April II.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23
Pure Metals.

Lead and tin can be obtained pure.
Good brands OF commercial lead con,
tain 1905 per cent. lead. and are often
even purer. Lead is the purest metal
which is made commercially. Good
brands of tin are cas- per cent pure.
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23
LEADING BANKER DIES.

Monroe. Wis. Feb pa b Gala
shua, a retired banker and in his
early DAYS one of the leading bankers
o5 Wisconsin, is dead aged 81
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-02-23
MAN DISAPPEARS
FROM HIS HOME
J. c. WHEELER. FORMERLY or
CAIRO, LEFT HOME IN EAST
ST. LOUIS ON JAN. 27-NoT
HEARD OF SINCE.

Frieads in this. city Of ]. c. Wheeler
Of East St Louis. formerly conductor
for the Mobile and Ohio railroad. will
be surprised to hear OF his mysterious
Semi-weekly herald., 1908-12-17
DENVER'S
GROWTH
Divine Says City Will
Have a Million Peo-
pie in Near Future

DENVER, Dec. 14.-Brilliant indeed
was the picture of future of Denver
and Colorado drawn by the Rev. r. F
Coyle in the Central Presbyterian
church yesterday. we whose heads
are whitening will not see, as the cur
tain for us will be rung down before
long, but our children will live to see
Denver, a city OF a million inhabitants
and the centennial state teeming with
vast population" said DR.. Coyle.
I'VE see people coming; every man
who has eyes can see them. They
VIII build great cities They will fill
our valleys. They will swarm along
our mountain slopes, and we owe 1t
to our country, we owe it to our re-
ligion, we owe 1t to our God, and we
owe it to them to get ready for their
coming"
These remarks by DIR. Coyle brought
forth by the denunciation of the re-
port circulated that the plan of up.
building Westminster college was a
Imd speculation scheme DIR. Coyle
spoke for the college and the necessity
for such an institution.