The Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1903-1909, 1908-06-17
Uncle Hanks Opinion.

q Uncle Hanks Opinion.
The grand opera had just reached
its usual bloody climax.
How did you like it, Uncle HankT
asked the city nephew
1T didn't seem just fair" replied
the agriculturist 81 dunno much
about music. and | reckon them folks
that was killed deserved it, but to my
notions there was some in the chorus
sang as bad as any of 'em,"-kansas
City Times.
The Green Sailor.
Mark Twain was once talking about
a play that had failed.
mo wonder 1t failed" he said. tits
author was greenhorn. He knew no
more Of stagecraft than young Tom
Bowling knew of saloring when he
shipped before the mast.
"Greenhorn Tom. you know. being
told to go aloft one dark. wet night
started up the rigging with a lantern
and an umbrella"
Edible Cacti.
AS long as there are people who eat
eggplant and say they like 1t there
seems to be no reason why people
should not eat cactuses. or. to be more
classical. cacti Lots of things in this
world are used as food that ought not
to be eaten, and there are doubtless
very many things that are not eaten
that would be serviceable as food
Kansas City Star.
Did the Best He Could.
please, sir" said the beggar give
a poor Old man few pennies|
'See here" rejoined the person ac-
costed, didn't give you dime three
days agoy
Il believe you did. sir" replied the
beggar; but. do the best can, find 1t
absolutely impossible to keep my ex-
penses below 3 1-3 cents day, and
your dime is all gone, sir."-Chicago
News.
The Seasoned Old verser.
A curate was looking over his church
when he met the verger. That morn
ing they had sung the Benedicite.
The verger said This morning fol-
lowed the Benedicite closer than usual,
and they mentioned all things but the
verger''
Surely" said the curate smilingly.
"they mention All green things upon
the earth. ILLUSTRATED Bits.
Some Very Pretty Names.
Here are some names taken from a
jury list in 1858, the year in which
Richard Cromwell succeeded his IA
Their as protector of England: Faint
Not Hewitt. Redeemed Compton.
Stand Fast-on- the-High Singer, Be-
Courteous Cole, Search-the- Scriptures
Moreton. Kill-Sin Pimple, Be-Faithful
Joiner. Fight the Good Fight-of Faith
White, More-Fruit Flower. Weep-Not
Billing, Repentance Avis and so on.
The Nineteen Hole Golf Course.
"Neatness is essential on the links"
said noted golfer at dinner in Chi
cago. AT Shinnecock Hills one day.
he went on, Il played behind two
young and pretty girls. Overtaking
them, heard the younger say:
GLOW many holes ON this course
Aileen?'
nineteen. dear, said Aileen, in
Guiding the one in your stocking
Disputed the Proposition.
"All that you are. my friend" said
the lecturer, singing out an elderly
man sitting in a front seat who APP
peared to be deeply interested-"all
that you are, | repeat. you owe to
heredity and environment"
Gosh" exclaimed the elderly man,
turning red with indignation. Il never
had no dealin's with that firm in my
life. and don't owe them or nobody
else a blamed centv-Chicago Tribune.
The Privilege of Age.
One of the few advantages Of in
creasing years lies in the consciousness
that we shall one day be able to give
advice instead of receiving it. No one
would dare advise man of fifty I'M
less 1t might be his wife, in which case
he would not listen to her, while the
person who would think of advising
| a woman of forty does not exist-Lon-
don Ladies' Field.
Naming the Tiger.
On the overthrow Of the monarchy
of Louis Philippe Sunday crowd Wis
| tied the Jardn DIES Plantes and was
amazed to find the fine specimen OF
the Bengal tiger still bearing the label
of lie Tigre Royal" Nothing would
serve the furious crowd but that at
| once on the spot the authorities should
| change the name to lie Tigre Nation
| al and they did.-London Academy.