davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
rFrom the Chicago News. !

lFrom the Chicago News.
Even a weak woman may raise
strong objections.
girl without an appetite can af-
ford to marry poet.
Much happiness is due to ability to
forget unpleasant things.
It's too bad that a scolding woman
never has scolding husband
Sometimes a deceitful woman pre-
tends to be happy even when she is
Every spinster is willing to admit
that she had at least one proposal.
Before going in for politics a ply
stefan should feel the public pulse.
Many a man is unable to carry his
head high because of the shortness of
his legs.
Some brands of reform are not
popular because of the promoters
back of them.
There is probably nothing more ef-
rective than the attempt of a fussy
woman to be disagreeable.
A servant girl usually stays un-
til she has a chance to look in the
closets and size up the family skele-
tons.
1t doesn't necessarily follow that
man would rather fight than eat be-
cause he marries a cooking school
graduate. -'u
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Persons who even don't know other
folks to talk to never hesitate to talk
about them.
X X
Some people are so fond of argu-
ment that they won't even eat any
thing that agrees with them.
x X X
It is well for man who wishes to
remain single to beware of WIDOW
who becomes interested In MS WORK.
X y
About the best way for man to
convince people that he has good
Judgment is for him to agree with ev-
erything they say.
X y
1t ought to be exceedinly easy Tor a
person to keep his self-possession
when attacked by robbers. They sure
" haven't any use for 1T.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

tricts not his own. He was great
vote getter for other people, and his
own district had but an indistinct
recollection of his cast of countenance.
A reputation OF being comic was his
political ruination. Occasionally ].
Adam would wander into the postof-
fee department and say to the fourth
assistant postmaster general: "I want
you to make No on the st. Paul
road stop at Frisby Junction and take
on mail. My constituents demand it."
'Ha, ha,'' would laugh the F. A
P. M. G.. you are great Joker, j.
Adam. Your stuff is really great and
you ought to write play. Have
mail train stop at Frisby Junction.
Ha, ha That's the best one you ever
sprung"
Then ]. Adam would ask the COM
rnittee on appropriations for a. new
federal building at Alligator Lake or
some other place in his district. The
members would think it a funny story
and roll off their seats with laughter.
murmuring inarticulately: "Oh. ].
Adam, your humor will be the death
Of us yet"
Consequently the folks around
home began to consider their humor-
list rather expensive luxury and af-
ter two or three terms the popularity
of J. Adam sagged and finally sank
into oblivion. They are going to keep
him at home now and he must pay
the penalty of being funny, the same
penalty that has been paid by nearly
every humorist who evr got ito con-
ereSS
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Sensible persons will soon be par
doned for thinking that Salina and
the places around there have diverted
from the straight and narrow path
ana that "joints" or other places
where decoctions are sold that are
conducive to making people "see
things" are running full blast in that
locality. It's now reported that the
oAr Whereabouts is literally filed with
meteors. Certainly it's peculiar that
these Eighty things OF the heavens
never make their appearances in other
portions of the state.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

James schoolcraft Sherman, the
Republican candidate for the vice
presidency has certainly jumped into
the limelight as a distinguished logi-
clan. He argues that the United States
has the tariff to thank for her agri-
cultural supremacy. In the minds of
many he would have come nearer hit
ting the mark by using the first two
words of the sentence that helped to
make the late Mark Hanna famous:
"Cod reigns, and the Republican par
II still lives"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Surely the actions of some of the
students Of the State Agricultural col
lege. in touching the torch to and
burning down the home of the man
who shot and killed one of their num-
Der in a seemingly inexcusable man
ner. do not speak well of the results
of the education that they are acquir-
ing. No crime was ever expiated by
the commission OF another one.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Cholera lis on the rampage in Rus
STA and the Philippine Islands. And it
does not take much of a prophet to
foretell that it will be controlled and
eventually stamped out in the Philip
pines long before it is in the domain
of Car Nicholas
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Surely the Wright brothers are
made of the stuff that is found in all
heroes. They are not daunted in the
least by the unfortunate accident to
their aeroplane which was in the
hands of Orville Wright and which
resulted in the death of Lieutenant
Selfridge, U. s. A, who is most as
suredly one of the heroes of peace.
The accident has seemed but to spur
the men to greater efforts and the an
nouncement of Wilbur Wright, I'VE
have solved the problem has a reas-
surfing ring to it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

According to the statistics of the
census bureau, which have just been
made public, the prices of food won
the race during the year 1907 in the
way of increase over the prices for
labor. These figures show that the
average wages an hour in the princi-
pal manufacturing and mechanical
Industries of the country were 81 per
cent higher in 1907 than 1905. while
the retail prices OF food were AZ per
cent higher. This condition of af-
fairs may now be classed among the
old, old stories, the never changing
stories.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR.
[From the New york Press1

IFrom the New York Press.J
A person has eharacted for all his
friends to stub their toes on.
A woman's idea of when a complf-
ment is hattery is when it's for an
other woman.
The reason men like to go to horse
races is SO they can lie about how thew
don't care for them merely on account
Of the betting.
There's nothing can get a man
wrong quite SO often as expert judg-
ment.
The only place anybody ever objects
to being thought richer than he IL a
in the tax Office.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

From the reports of the active
practice already being INDUCED in on
football fields there will scarcely be
time for the public to catch a fresh
breath between the closing of the
baseball season and the beginning of
the royal combats between the glad
iators of the gridiron.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

News comes from Ohio that Senator
Foraker has eliminated himself from
the work of the Republican campaign.
This is hardly correct. The actual job
of elimination was performed by Will
liam Randolph Hearst.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Mr.. Roosevelt has 1o''~ered himself
of another letter telling why Mr.. Taft
should be elected. If the president
keeps up his present HEX of writing
these sort of letters there certainly
will be no occasion for him to take
the stump in the interests of RepubIi-
can success
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

The New York Tribune thinks that
when Mr.. Bryan says that what
man wants to believe is very easy to
believe he speaks with the ample
authority of one who knows.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

tie shudder. "Name your ransom"
For reply Paul caught the little hand
that rested on the arm of the seat.
There was just a momentary resist
ance. Then it rested quietly in his
own. The ransom had been paid
Copyrighted. 1908, by Associated Lit.
erary Press.l.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Until few days ago william Ran
dolph Hearst, who is spellbinding in
the interest Of his personal property,
the Independence party and his pres
ldential candidates Mr.. Hisgen and
AIR. Graves-pardon, the slip, it
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

1t will not be long now before the
great Atlantic fleet of battleships will
again be in "home waters" But at
that they will be on the other side of
the rEnrld
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22
FRON OTHER PENS
PROFESSION OF BUSINESS.

d
The Student class, the general public
and the educators of the nation will
find a peculiar special interest in the
opening at Harvard university on Oc-
tober of the new Graduate School of
Business Administration" the an
nounced purpose of which is ito estab-
fish business training on a professional
basiS.''
OF the need of such an institution
there can be no question, the only pro-
position being of it's general effect upon
the course of study long recognized as
the essential feature of collegiate edu-
cation. The Harvard authorities ap-
parently understand and appreciate the
complications that will result from this
new departure. and they announce that
the school does not seek to decry or
supplant the various business col
leges" that have sprung up throughout
the country in response to the demand
for helpers in the various commercial
and industrial enterprises. They take
the position that there is a constant
and growing demand for the highest
type of business man. educated in the
broadeSt principles of commerce and
industry, and state that it is the pur-
pose of this new course of study to
supply this demand, without infring-
ing upon the work of the ordinary COM
mercial colleges.-omaha Bee.
OVERWORK IN THE SCHOOLS.
writer in American Medicine.
convinced that overwork in the school
room and excessive study at home
are undermining the health of thou
sands of children, urges its profession
al readers to call a halt He believes
that physicians should recognize this
cause of illness in children more fire.
quently than they do now and, with
the assistance of parents, bring about
a reform in the number of hours of
school sessions and in the work at
home required of the boys and girls.
1t is undoubtedly true that in their
eagerness to make records school
authorities are always in danger of
overworking rather than underworld
ing their pupils. There is ever the
temptation to permit the brightest
scholars in class to set the rate of
progress for all and to spur the dull
lards to q speed which they cannot
maintain by normal efforts. At the
same time it is difficult to accept the
theory that American educational au-
thorities are following the forcing
methods prevalent in Germany. as has
been asserted, the system (which rem
ders the poor little sufferers so neur-
asthenic that it even leads to suicide"
l-Pittsburg Gazette-Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

"Once upon a time" remembers the
Detroit Evening News. there was a
man named Coin Harvey" But as
Mr. Bryan says, ''Why delve into the
Oast
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22
HUNOR or THE Day


Clara-what kind of face powder do you
useg Maud-Why do you ask? Charlie
Life.
Was Maude bright enough to get the
Duke at a bargain?' Not only bright
enough to get him at bargain. but after
SIX months time to get him exchanged. =
Judge.
DO you believe that all things come to
him who waits?" They may start for him,
put put usually some man who husties over
who waits. Houston Post.
Mr.. links. we want you to decide
bet" Happy to oblige, I'm sure" WAS
that last selection something classical or
was 1t the orchestra tuning up?"-Wash-
ington Herald.
Think of the simple. truth-telling char
acter of George Washington Yes" an
wasn't as much competition in American
politics then as there is now."-WashinE-
ton Star.
Bacon-You remember a few shorts
years ago in Cuba, they were killing men
with the gun and the machete? Egbert1-
Yes: now believe they have automobiles
Statesman.
PA. is it true that all men are made OF
dust?'' I've had reason to think likely"
replied the man who had been trying to
OF them are made of cement" -Chicgo
Record Herald.
Meandering Mike-Say. mister. couldn't
youse help pore traveiin' Teller ter buy
autermobeel? Citizen-Huh! You don't
want much Meandering. Mike-Dat's
right, mister. I've got de oil can an all
needs now is de mersheen.-Chicago News.
The young man was admiring her beau
tiful and abundant hair. What a wealth
of it there Isl he exclaimed. when YOU
loosen 1t l suppose it drops to the floor"
"Huh!' broke in the little sister OF the
young woman. 1t drops on the floorr'-
Chicago Tribune.
won't even buy a calendar, for fear he
| may not live the year out to use II mt
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Rockefeller is said to be very shy."
Who wouldn't be. after being fined So
oOo'ooo?"-kansas City Times.
,Hamlet-what is your favorite role7
Horatio-One with a hot sausage between
-Philadelphia Telegraph.
Banks--That scar birthmark? Tanks
Yep Pullman upper.-Judge.
visitor-what made you thief? Prison
er-Cfrcumstances; the same thing that
made you Observation-Disclosures In
Quirer.
Dorothy. aged 5. who had been very I'll.
| was much impressed with the wisdom of
| the family physician. why, mamma, f" she
| said one day, IF 1 wanted to die /
couldn't. cause DIR. Blank wouldn't let
me."-Chicago Daily News.
MRS. jerks. if you were a kind lady
with five cents she didn't need, an L was
a little boy that didn't know any better
an asked her for 1t, do you think she
could maybe afford to lend 1t to him IL I
promised her faithfully that he'd pay you
MISUNDERSTANDING.
Mature makes nothing in vain" said
the philosopher. Perhaps" nswered
Colonel Stillwell. Though 1 can't quite
explain the presence of great big beauti-
full mint bed in a local option county,
Washington Star.
Son-Father, what's a music critic /?
Father-He's fellow that all music seems
to irritate.-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS.

The State Journal is a member of the
Associated Press and receives the full day
telegraph report of that great news or
ganization for the exclusive afternoon
publication in Topeka.
The news is received in The State Jour
nal building over wires for this sole pur-
pose.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22
one Mans Wonderful Mind.

Sir Walter Parratt, the newly APP
pointed professor of music in Oxford
university, is an enthusiastic chess
player. On one occasion he undertook
to play two men at once and at the
same time play on the pianoforte from
memory pieces selected by those pres
ent from any of the classical writers
for that instrument. He not only
played brilliantly during the games
never once looking at the chess board
but conversed with several persons,
who did their best to distract him.
The game lasted an hour and Sir wal
ter was the victor. His pianoforte Sc
lections while the game was in prog
ress came from such giants as Bach,
Mozart, Beethoven, Mendelssohn and
Chopin, and he afterward explained
that for the greater part of the hour
he had been intensely interested in
the efforts of a fly to disengage itself
from a spiders web.-Chicago News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22
AND HE sTRAIGHrENED HIs TIE


Twas a habit he had; he had formed it
Just the same as the habit of telling the
Or the habit of eating or rubbing his ear,
or OF ANYTHING else that some of us think
In our game we must wait till the fidget
Till he Strengthened his tie-and played.
He would straighten his tie, all uncon-
But 1t got on ones nerves, as you'll
easily guess.
He would grab it and yank it until it was
straight
Though en- route to a train and few
In his duties he never was careless, or
But he Strengthened his tie-and worked.
As a citizen he was a model, indeed;
OF his work for Uplifting the masses
And his speeches were fine and convinc-
ing and wise
But his hearers would watch him with
While he gave his cravat a swift pat and
g. a poke,
AS he Strengthened his tie-and spoke.
When he went forth a-wooing, each smile
and each sigh
Was deity divided 'twixt damsel and tie,
But ms courtship was fervid and win
The SEQUEL is one you may very well
know.
For one evening right plump on his two
knees he dropped
And he straightened his tie-and popped.
But at last he fell i'll and was going to
die
And a person in bed, you know, don't
wear tie.
He was worried. we saw, till we guessed
wha: wal wrong.
Then we brought him tie that was mar
row and long
And we put it upon him, all carefully
tied
And he straightened his tie-and died
w. d. Nesbit in the Chicago Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Meandering Mike-Say, mister couldn't
youse help a pore traveiin' Teller ter buy
a autermobeel? Citizen-Huh! You don't
want much. Meandering Mike-Dat's
right, mister. I've got de oil can an all I
needs now is de mersheen.-Chicago News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22
Dignity of Authorship.

One of the ADLER modern writer's
made this confession the other day |:
"I am so devoted to my wife that 1
allow her to break in upon me When-
ever she pleases. Naturally, she cuts
into my line of thought and often de-
stroys the continuity of genius. The
only way for me to do good day
work is to quarrel with her, to make
her so angry that she will cry. fuss
break a few dishes. smash kitten,
scald a puppy or two, then go to her
room and stay there. By the time L
have done a days work she is in ex-
cellent humor and tired of being
alone. Then we make up. New
York Press.
Bayonne Kitten Has Two Heads.
Bayonne, N. J., now possesses
remarkable freak in the animal line
which is the property of a well known
woman of that city. The freak is a
kitten, born yesterday at the home
of Mrs Fred W1njas. of 43 East
Twenty-second street. The kitten has
two heads, two tails and eight legs
Those who have seen the kitten say
it will probably not live, but it IS
alive and well today, and to the or
binary eye seems as healthy as kit
tens generally are the day after birth,
New York Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Bacon-You remember a few shorts
years ago in Cuba, they were killing men
with the gun and the machete? Egbert-
Yes: now believe they have automobiles
and trolley cars down therei-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Think of the simple, truth-telling char
acter of George Washington" Yes" an
swered Senator Sorghum, but there
wasn't as much competition in American
ton Star.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Pa. is 1t true that all men are made Of
dust? I've had reason to think likely"
replied the man who had been trying to
get his notes extended. that good many
OF them are made of cement."-Chicgo
Record Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

The young man was admirinx her beam
tlful and abundant hair. What a wealth
of 1t there is he exclaimed when YOU
loosen 1t l suppose 1t drops to the floor"
'Huh!' broke in the little sister OF the
young woman. TT drops on the floor!''-
Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22
Not Easy to Kill.

Not Easy to Kill.
A. P. West, who lives at Geneva, ILL.,,
and who for the last 40 years has been
little less than living marvel to medi-
cal practice, now lies at his home criti-
cally Ill, with little hope of his recov-
cry.
A confederate bullet, a 3S-foot fall,
and swiftly thrown baseball did not
suffice to end this life until he had
reached point far beyond the allotted
time of man. He was shot through the
lung at Vicksburg, and while medical
skill saved his life, the wound left a
queer effect ever afterward. His heart
beat SO fast and his pulse continually
was so high that when physicians by
chance got hold of his wrist they were
alarmed and told him to go home and
take to his bed.
However, with the unheard of activ-
ity of his vital organ he has been an
assessor for several terms and a Justice
of the peace for 80 years. He has been
credited with being one of the best
bicycle riders in Kane county, and with
pulse at fever speed and a humping
heart he was able to make a century
run with apparently little effort.
1t is related that at one time in his
life West absentmindedly sawed off a
limb of tree on which he was sitting
80 feet from the ground. The fall in
1ured his spinal column, resulting in
the loss of a section of the vertegrae.
At still another time he failed to get
out of the way of a spinning baseball
that caught him on the leg below the
knee. 1t required months for the victim
to get over this wound. 1t is said that
it caused him more trouble and pain
than either of the other two injuries.
None of the injuries has kept him
from activity in business and social
matters. He has been an enthusiastic
Grand Army man and a warm temper
ance advocate.-Chicago News.
Old Cannon a Clock Weight.
The most unique clock weight in
at Cherryfield, an old smooth-bore
cannon. The old cannon was one of
smooth-bore type and was brought
by Gleason r. Campbell from Bos-
ton on one Of the return trips of lum-
Der vessels. 1t was brought to fire
salutes, as the stirring days of the
civil war were at hand.
After announcing many Union VIC
tories during the war. at the sur
render of Lee. in 1865. it was taken
out for a final and great salute. Rob
ert L. Wiley, a soldier of the war,
who was at home on furlough, was in
charge of the cannon, and, through
some mismanagement, a premature
discharge of the gun threw Mr..
Wiley high in the air, filling his face
close to the shoulder. The old gun
was then spiked by the angry citizens
and did no more salute service
When the Second Baptist church
building was built in 1873, a weight
being wanted for the clock, the old
gun was used. For thirty years it
did clock duty, until 1908, when it
once more received a baptism of fire
and fell in the ruins of the church
confiagration that December. When
the new clock was installed in the
new church building, in 1906, once
more the old cannon mounted the
tower to do clock duty.-Kennebec
Journal.
One Mans Wonderful Mind.
Sir Walter Parratt, the newly ap-
pointed professor of music in Oxford
university. is an enthusiastic chess
player On one occasion he undertook
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

won't even buy a calendar for fear he
may not live the year out to use it upv'-
Philadelphia Inquirer
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Mr.. links. we want you to decide a
bet Happy to oblige, I'm sure" was
that last selection something classical or
was 1t the orchestra tuning up?"-Wash-
ington Herald.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

,hamlet-What is your favorite role
H0ratlo-One with hot sausage between
Philadelphia Telegraph.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Rockefeller is said to be very shy"
~ no. no wouldn't be- after being fined $2s.-
OOo,0OO?"-kansas City Times
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

DO you believe that all things come to
him who waits?'' They may start for him,
but usually some man who hustles over
takes them before they get to the man
who waits."-Houston Post.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Clara-What kind of face powder do you
use? Maud-Why do you ask? Charlie
Spooner says it's the best he ever tasted
Life.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Banks-That scar a birthmark? Tanks
Yep, Pullman upper.-Judge.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-22

Visitor-What made you thief? Prison
er-Cfrcumstances; the same thing that
made you a gentleman.-PhiladeIph In
ouirer.