davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21

one in Milwaukee that l made such
statement.
Drink it, Bunch, every time you can,
because bettermilk comes down to us
from the remotest ages with splendid
recommendations.
Every great man in history was a
buttermilk drinker, Bunch.
Every great man who is now spend
ing his time trying to get into his
tory is buttermilk drinker, Bunch.
Read between the lines in your his
tory of ancient Rome, and you will
see how buttermilk would have saved
the life of Julius Caesar il he hadn't
had such a weakness for hard cider.
where are you going?" inquired
Calathumpia, the wife of Julius
Caesar, as he fastened the gold safety
pin in his toga and reached for his
umbrella.
81 am going down to Rudolph
March's cafe in the Forum" an
swered julius; ''you don't need to wait
lunch for me, Callie."
"But, Julius" whispered Calathum-
pia; 'why do you spend so much time
at March's cafe in the Forum? 1t
isn't a good place for you to go, my
dear. Besides, there is always a
bunch of loafers hanging around that
joint. Why don't you sit here at home
with nue. in the cool Stadium and drink
buttermilk with your loving Calathum-
pia?"
"Buttermilk!" sneered Julius; "such
drink is only for mollycoddles and
pink fingers. 1t doesn't make rich
blood in the veins like the hard cider
l get at MARGINS. Avaunt and raus
mittim!"
But please don't go to that cafe
this morning. Calathumpia kept on
pleading. Stay at home Just this
once and spread some of this delicious
buttermilk over your thirst"
mo buttermilk this day for me-
answered julius. Il seek vintage
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
SOMETIMES PITCHERS
SHOOT BALL TOO TRUE
So Says "Long" Tom Hughes in Ar.
ticie on Things That Happen to
the TWirIer.
BY "LoNG" TOM HUGHES.

Do you know that there is such a
thing as a pitcher being too true? I
haven't hit batter this year and I
am paying the penalty for it in getting
beaten in these 1 to 0 and to 1
games l ought to win. / am not in
favor of this thing of aiming the bali
at a battsr's head to drive him away
from the plate, but in these days of
low scores, when everything almost
depends On the man in the box, it
sometimes becomes almost imperative.
Let pitcher once get reputation
for keeping the ball over the heart of
she plate and the batters will hear all
s,bout it quickly enough. You will see
them coming up there like little
iaajors, fairly embracing the plate in
the knowledge that they are practical
ly insured against crack on the head
or in the ribs.
Last year I hit two men with the
ball. One was Claud Rossman. He
had Rugged the plate until it became
exasperating in the extreme and SO I
shot one at his cap. He lodged just
In time to escape a good headache and
the ball hit his shoulder. 1 didn't
want to hit it, but It kept him from
making love to the plate for a good
long while.
It's all right, this thing of having
perfect control, as Cy Young, Adile
Joss and few other pitchers can
testify, but once in while it pays to
forget that the batter has any feelings
and keep him from choking the plate
as he will when he knows he Is taking
no risk.
/ think / could have knocked over
walking stick If it had been stuck
in the ground back of the plate the
other day. Someway the ball simply
obeyed my every command. But just
to illustrate how small thing may
turn the tide in baseball game let me
say that lost that contest by pitching
high fast ball to Liebhardt, when all
my reasoning told me l should serve
up a curve.
l pitched just one bad ball out Of
the IT'S or $50 balls l had to pitch
and it cost me the game.
Perhaps if 1 had aimed one at
Glenn's head and driven him away
from the plate might have won. But
that only goes to illustrate what SAID
at the start that there is such a thing
as pitcher having too good control.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
WIZARD VICTOR WILLIS
BOGEY OF BALL PLAYERS
EXISTENCE IS OLD AGE
They All Fear for Livelihood as Years
Pile Up, Yet There Are Many
Good sold Boys"

The ball player is peculiar on the
game many of them play they fear
the signs of age. They dread the
time when their arms will get stiff and
they will have to give up the sport in
which they have spent a life time of
pleasure. They dislike the sugges-
ton that they are getting gray or bald
because it suggests the time when
they shall have to make way for
stronger men.
ut makes a hit with me the way
some colts pass on their age" says
Bill Donovan. They are like school
girls. You could not get some ball
players past the age of % with der
rick. There's more four-fushing on
age in the game than there is in any
other business. The theatrical pro-
fession not barred. It's impossible al
most to find ball player still in &C
tive service who has passed the age
of 80, If you believe what he says.
The most wonderful part of Cy Young
is not his pitching record; it's the fact
that he is willing to admit he's Al.
Cy isn't the only man in the major
league who has reached that age. Ten
to one they are being written up as
colts, just breaking in"
Detroit last year had colt pitcher
who passed as young fellow. He
said he was 25. Nobody had the heart
to wake him up to the fact that he
was not getting away with it, and so
he continued with the bluff Such and
such an event of few years ago was
| before his time" He had a lot of
fun posing as coy green young
thing. After he had left the club to
seek new fields of endeavor, it was
found that he had son of Is years
of age. The colt" as matter of
fact, was 81 years old, and he was
Just breaking into the majors.
Cy Young has wonderful record
Of having worked for Is or 10 years
as major league pitcher with a per-
centage of games won well over the
500 mark, but his age is really moth
ing wonderful, or would not be con-
sidered so if the ages of some of the
diamond stars still doing business
could be truthfully tabulated.
There isn't at the present time one
mustache in baseball. 1t is just an
evidence of the general tendency of
the ball player to dodge signs of age.
The hirsute decorations have habit
of becoming tinged with gray oftimes
and when the ball player gets slow
on his feet and does the "stalling''
stunt-starting late for ball and pre-
tending he made desperate effort to
get it-he doesn't want the manager
reminded of his age by any such plain
evidence as a mustache.
big Ed Delehanty always used to
be grouchy about his age" says Bill
Coughlin. Whenever any of the
boys would pull off the gag about pay
ing so cents to see him play when
they were children he would always
come back at item with:
We'll, straighten up or you'll soon
be paying so cents to see me again.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
Suggestion Would Solve Problem That
Has Become Great.

DR.. C. H. Benton of Chester, w. Va,
says that drunkenness is the result OF
auto-intoxication-t mans wretch
edly cooked food, fermenting in his
stomach, brings on very painful au-
to-intoxication wherein the sufferer
turns, for relief, to alcohol.
1t was at the American Medical As
sociation's convention in Chicago
that DR.. Benton made this novel state
ment, and at one of the association
dinners he said afterward:
ITO escape the tortures of auto
intoxication men should marry women
of intelligence. Then their food would
be properly looked after, and, with
healthy stomachs, they would shun
drunkenness as one shuns smallpox
or any other hateful affection.
But men worship beauty. They
marry for beauty. Whena man marries
a woman for her mind he is deemed
eccentric, even foolish.
"a Chester lawyer married young
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
eoULD's COUSIN IN PooRHoUsE
AGED Relative of Millionaire Has Be-
come County Charge.

Los Angeles, Cal.-Melvin A. Gould,
who says he is second cousin of the
late Jay Gould, is seriously ill at the
county hospital. He is 70 years of age
and is suffering from lack of proper
nourishment.
The old man has been living in his
own cottage and has been cared for
by his foster daughter, whom he had
befriended in former years. She is
said to be no longer able to care for
him and he must become a county
charge. There is mortgage on the
cottage and if he dies there will be
hardly enough money to bury him. He
once was wealthy.
Most of his property was turned
into cash in order that he might spec.
ulate in mines. He lost thousands of
dollars trying to develop claim which
was worthless.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
WE'RE 1T BUT POSSIBLE

woman of exquisite mind-a thin, big
headed girl in spectacles. He would
never suffer from auto-intoxication
no doubt of that. A friend from the
east was introduced to the lady one
night, and later on the bridegroom
said to him:
George, what do you think oil
her?'
George pulled thoughtfully on his
cigar.
"'Well,' he said, to tell you the
truth, she isn't much to look at, is
she?'
"The husbands face fell.
"'Ah, but he said eagerly, what a
mind she has! Externally, perhaps,
she isn't all that could be desired;
but within-ah. George, she has a
beautiful mind
George smiled.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
Copyright, 1908, by
ButtermjIk and Fame.

Perhaps some scientist will explain
what there is in churned milk which
makes men wax great. Think of a
Scotchman like Andrew Carnegie tell
ing what benefits may be derived from
this mild intoxicant, praising it far
above the best Scotch ever distilled.
President Roosevelt has doomed a
roadside house in the National Rock
Creek reservation in Washington on
account of the excellent brand of but
termilk which may be imbibed on its
shady veranda. The house sells more
exhilarating drinks, but through it's
buttermilk it is famous. The presi.
dent and his friends drop in there at
least once day for drink and some.
times several times when the air is
torrid. Gen. Miles drinks buttermilk
and so does Admiral Dewey. Vice
President Fairbanks has said in the
presence of veritable witnesses that
earth contains nothing finer in the
way of food and drink than a slice of
custard pie and a glass of cold. fresh
buttermilk. The cocktail maa Is lone
some these days, and he sneaks off
by himself 10 indulge. Buttermilk has
the place of honor for those who wish
to be counted among the truly great.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
IN HENRY
>>N&lRMIH 0AI
.2AgIBUTTERe''Lk.
ON
BY GEO. v. HOBART, rHUeH MHUeH!D

else in a previous existence, then
switching to another personality in
the present, is interesting to think
about, to say the least.
I've cooked up three or four studies
along these lines which may interest
you, Bunch!
Go to it, my boy!
FIRST STUDY.
The ghost of julius Caesar looked
threateningly at Brutus, the Stabbist:
Brutus sneered.
you" he said, ito the mines!"
Not one of Caesars muscles quiv-
cred.
Brutus used a short, sharp laugh.
"You," he said, ION your way!"
Caesar never batted an eyelash.
Brutus pointed to the rear
Go away back, he said, land use
your laziness!"
Caesar pulled his toga up over his
cold shoulder.
Brutus laughed again, and it was
the saucy, triumphant laugh of the
man who lodges in front of woman
and grabs seat on the elevated rail-
road. -a
"The next time We meet you will
not do me as you did me at the base
of Pompeys statue" said the ghost
of Caesar, speaking for the first time
since we began this study.
1--WE will not meet again because
I refuse to associate with you," said
Brutus.
Caesar smiled, but it was without
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21

mirth, and as cold as the notice of sus-
pension on the door of bank.
YES, we will meet again." said
Caesar.
"Where?" asked Brutus.
'In the far, far future" said the
ghost of Caesar, shriekingly, "you will
be born into the world again by that
time, and in your new personality you
will be one of the Common People,
and you will burn gas"
"And you?" inquired Brutus.
IT will be the spirit which puts tho
ginger in the gas-meter, and may
Heaven have mercy on your pocket.
book" shrieked the ghost of Caesar.
Brutus took a fit, and used it for
many minutes, but the ghost kept on
shrieking in the Latin tongue.
SECOND STUDY.
Napoleon stood weeping and wailing
and gnashing his eyebrows on the
battlefield of Waterloo.
He was waiting for the moving
picture man to get his photograph.
The victorious Wellington made his
appearance, laughing loudly in his
sleeve.
Back, Nap! Back to the Boulevard
des Dago!" commanded Wellington.
Napoleon put his chin on his wish
bone and spoke no word.
"You," said Wellington; ''you to the
Champs Elisa! This is my victory.
and you must leave the battlefield
it is time to close up for the night"
eve will meet again, MILFORD" an
swered Napoleon. "Avec beau temps
Isl bong swat"
What does that mean?" asked Wei.
lington.
1T means that the next time we
meet I will do the swatting," an.
swered Napoleon, bitterly.
"And when will that be-" inquired
Wellington, laughing loudly.
''In the far, far future" replied
the Little Corporal. "You will then
be one of the Common People"
"And what will you be-" Wellington
asked.
"You will live in Brooklyn" Ma
poleon went on, like man in a
dream; land I will be the spirit Of
progress, which will meet you at the
Brooklyn Bridge at eyentide and kick
you in the Stats until your appetite
is unfit for publication. Bon soir mes
enfants du spitzbuben!
Then the Little Corporal called a
cab and left Wellington alone on the
battlefield.
Don't mind me, Bunch; there's no
more harm in me than there is in
rattlesnake. Yours as indicated,
J. H.
Copyright, 1908, by G. W. Dillingham; Coz
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
Attacked In Her Own Home.

Hot Springs, Ark.-Mrs. N. Petit Of
this city was attacked by an unknown
assailant, who, after beating her al
most into insensibility, thrust a rag
saturated with arsenic into her mouth,
bound her to her bed with wire and
then tied a number of matches in her
mouth so that they would become ig-
nited if she moved her head. Two
hours after Mrs. Petit had been bound
and gagged, her husband returned
from work and released her.
On being released, she fell into a
faint and is now in dangerous con-
dition from nervous exhaustion.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21

Probably few countries have
changed so little during the past gen.
Grafton as has Kashmir, for neither
the government nor the people ap-
pear to have taken part in the prog
ress which is so marked on the In
dian side of its boundaries, so that the
traveller of to-day finds things much as
they were 80 years ago. 1t is true
that instead of leisurely marching the
200 miles which separate Rawai Pindi
from Srinagar he can now do that
journey in three days if the condition
of the ill-aligned and crumbling Jhe-
lum Valley road permits and if his
tonga remains on the narrow track
which is laboriously maintained in Or
now be received into hotel of the
southern world.
1t Is true that on arrival he can
now be received into a hotel of the
usual oriental type and welcomed to
the hospitality of miniature club,
that he can play golf, tennis and polo,
and dress in the clothes of Europe in
stead of in local suits of country
tweeds; but otherwise the country
and people are the same, the Jhelum
flows in the same unrestricted course,
and still holds the valley and the me-
tropolis at it's mercy, what time the
floods overtop the flimsy embank-
ments. 1t still bears on its broad
bosom the antiquated craft carrying
the trade of the country, the house
boats of the tourist or resident and
the swift shikaras propelled by heart
shaped paddles, which CLEAN and flash
as they are raised in rhythm from
the muddy waters. And it is, perhaps,
for this reason that the return to the
valley is pleasant and that, though
.here may be 1000 visitors instead
OF the 200 Of bygone days, one can
still tow the houseboat to well-remem-
5sred places and find there. as before,
tn, same soothing beauties,
No one who has not experienced it
can know the joyousness of spring
time in the sheltered valleys of the
Himalaya when all Nature is regain
ing vitality after the restraints of the
long winter months, and to fully par
ticipate in this pleasure the months of
April and May in Kashmir afford the
best opportunities. At first, indeed,
the trees are gray with unopened buds,
the hillsides brown with withered her
bage, and the birds, uncertain as to
the season, at times chirp gayly and at
others sit huddled with puffed-out
plumage. Yet daily, as the power of
the sun increases, the landscape takes
on a brighter color, the hills are trans
formed into folds of emerald velvet,
while, as the vast snowfields melt
away into cascades foaming down the
mountain sides, so foot by foot the
upland meadows are covered with a
profusion of wild flowers through
which the wanderer may pass and
leave no track. And when at last the
cedars have shed their weight of snow
and the frs and birch trees can see
the ground on which they stand, we
know that summer has arrived and
that for. three short months the plane
trees will be full of happy warblers
and the marshes and lakes alive with
busy birds who have no time to spare
from their domestic occupations.
The ancient city of Srinagar is as
beautiful and dirty as ever, though
modern engineering is here. as else
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
More Lionizing of Dorando.

The glorification of Dorando, the
Italian runner, who strove gallantly
to win the Marathon race at the Olym-
plan games, continues in the London
newspapers. Combined with 1t, of
course, is the depreciation of the tri-
umphs of Hayes, the American winner
of the Marathon. Hayes is held guilty
of an objectionable lack of true
sportsmanship" in finishing the race
when he saw Dorando, perfectly ex-
hausted, almost senseless, being car
ried to the tape. Helen Mathers, the
novelist, expresses the general feel
ing here in an open letter: Il venture
to think that had Hayes, as a true
sportsman, declined to lodge a protest
against what, but for interference,
must have been an actual as well as a
moral victory, the American would
have received magnificent ovation
But for interference, but for being
massaged and helped to stagger along
by officials of the British Olympic
committee, a fragrant violation of
every rule of justice and fair play,
Dorando could not have arisen after
even his first fall. Yet true British
sportsmen talk about the Italian
moral victory" Their reflections on
Hayes craftsmanship because he did
not surrender the crown, won by an
achievement superior in every way
to Dorando's, are as ignorant as spite
full. For had Hayes done anything sc
absurd, even the British Olympic com
mittee would have been powerless to
give the race to Dorando.
The magnanimity of the British
sportsman is wonderful, but unfortu
nately it is almost invariably yicarious
In it's manifestations.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
McGraW Likes Qoyle.

Johnny McGraw, the manager OF
the New York Giants, says that Larry
Doyle, the fast youngster, will be the
best second sacker in the business in
1909. Says McGraw: II wouldn't
trade Larry even up for Johnny Evers.
If the trade were offered. Since his
sickness at the beginning of the sea.
son Doyle has been getting two and
three hits every day. His fielding has
been wonderful. his speed helping him
pull OF plays that any other second
sacker would not even attempt"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21

Arthur Rodgers and Ned Cassidy are
armed with guns which shoot steel
bullets. Women and children have
barricaded themselves in their homes
and the least noise causes them to
fear and they cry: "The snake!"
Dick Ferguson is now organizing a
posse to go after the monster, which is
believed to reside in a cave on the
bluff overlooking the river on the
Mcqueen farm. There is no known
species of snake growing to such size
in this section.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
Sues for Bad Locks.

Lancaster, Pa.-William Stamm has
entered an action on unusual grounds
to recover $4,000 damages from his
landlord, Moritz Sentner. The latter
was notified that the door locks were
defective, but they were not replaced
by others.
A fire recently occurred, and Stamm
was severely burned, because. as he
claims, he could not escape until he
had forced the locks which the keys
would not Open
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
European Coast Lines.

Great Britain has the longest coast
line in Europe. Italy, Russia and
France come next in the order given.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21
MeIlowed hv TrjbuIation

1t has done me good TO be some
what parched by tAs heat and drenche6
by the rain Of life.--LcEgfellow
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-08-21

Dear Bunch: I'm not yet hep to
this gag of hiking across the geogra-
ply from town to town, like a hop
toad in a cabbage-patch.
1t may be interesting to some peo-
pie, but it gets me peeyed.
I found your letter waiting for me
here.
So they've steered you up against
a new cure for your dyspepsia, eh?-
buttermilk!
And a great idea, Bunch, believe
me!
1t certainly is lucky to drink butter
milk.
Buttermilk is to the WORKOUT sys-
tenn the same as a fat-ofiice is to a
stout politician.
AS a thirst-splasher buttermilk is the
one best bet, but don't ever tell any
Gsea
,TIs|
n i,
hI,AMKzY.S j !
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1908-02-02
Mencn bcn Iapicr. Srnlt.

Moibingtolt, Z. g., I. 6cbr.-
WGbrenO ser QeItriQen ullgcneincn
Cchottc iiber sic Iinoioner 9cmiQi.
0ina$biQ fonO Neproicntout @il'
liomS (0fiii.) @%eIegenbeit, einen ali.
gemeinen Nngriff olf Ben Gorif ultf
Eopicr, &%unlhucrfc, Ntnlcrcien NM
@raoiircn cin3uleitcn mo Den Hcplb.
lifouern cine groberc Stonopo,fc III
boltcn. Sic tblut ibr MoQlidlite@,
Die Giuiliiirung Oc@ omerifoniiden
Bottles 81 p%er5o9ern" ricf CT ben Ne.
publifanern I'M @ollie 5ll. o@cldc
Hedticrtigltng giebt cS, Den 0}ann 5u
b%eiteuern, Der lcicn mill, ODER 0a8
Wdo6eL ouS ieiten aotediSnus IN
sic Sonntogsihule mitnimnlt?" -
Bonn Stonopunft Der Civilization,
ser Sltltur mo Srmonitdt f0nne CT,
@iuioms, nidt cinieber, mic irQerO
ein Mnnn Den 3|olltorii altf oieie So
den pertbei0igcn fonne unO geih0be
e8 aud MIR, I'M ieincu Sit i'm
GonqrcB SIT bcbolten. Gr lobtc Yroli.
bent Hooicpelt iiir icinen Stono.
punft, Ole 8erbreitung Der Sntclli.
gems inter Der Menifbcit uidt SIT be.
iteiiern. Smith bon Californian meill.
te, Der bohc Ereie 0cS GrudpnpiCr0
lei ni6t ouf 30Qc, iouocrn olf cine
Combination 3ur MISUNDERSTANDING
Der Yreiic 5lriif5uiiibren. Sithcod
horofteriiirtc Sen bon Der ,,Sntcrna.
tional Enpcr 60" feitgeieBten. Ea.
pierpreiS OILS cine ,cnorme HGubcrci"
uno erflGrte. Oob Ourd) cine Nllfbe.
brula oeS 3oaeS conooiihcS Eopicr
5lIgelaiicn iuerocn miirOe, Woburd) ole
oneritoniihe Corporation SIT elmer
Serobicbung Ser Ereiic gc5mlmQen
iperoen miiroe. 8lcid) nad) S6luB
Der @iuiom'id)cn Heoc pertogtc lid)
ooS Sails bis WontaQ.
Der Deutsche correspondent. [volume] (Baltimore, Md.) 1841-1918, 1908-02-02
0ciu' Yurf's Srrrnanitaltcu.

Ilbunn, N..N, I. 6ebrltor. -
Can't SobrcSberiht Der Ncm > gortcr
StaotS.Gonuention fiir SSrrcnoritnl.
ten befinben lid sur 3eit mebr gel,
~iteSfronfe Srouen. ais WfGmner M
bct ser Itootlihcn 5iiriorge inter.
Itelltcu anitoIten, Die NnBobl ser
i'm 2ouie bea Sobres bis sum eriten
Sftober 1907 in ocn AnitoItcn inter
acbrahten @eiitcafronfcn bc5iiIertc
lid aui $685. pom oicien 1897
MGnmer mo 1916 3roltcn. Die bel
Den Gnitalten fir geiitcafronfc Ser.
BREEDER in Mnttcaman uno Gonre.
mora 51blen 1914 Snioiien. Eriuotc
REORGANIZATION perpiIcgen 977 go.
tietlten. Sir BEN llntcrbolt Scr
StaotS. Srrenonitoltcn pro 6iafoIioGr
beginilenb om /. Sftober 1907, miro
insgrinmnlt cine 9eiuiQigr1g bon
$5,305,000 oerlon9t. Ter Mebrbc.
irag BON $t.500000 lit notbpcnoiQ,
INN Die erbobten 2obnc Der Noipital.
Ir1eitelten mo Die Soften iilr meme
9aulidfeitcn ul0 auberorocntlidc
Reporaturen 5u 0edell. Scr Ero5elt.
ios Der erfolgten Seillna bon @ci-
iteSfranfen utter Der gchanoIung 81
ben Stoots nnItolten lit ein menig &c.
itiegen. @abrenb beS Sobres mlr.
ben insgeiammt 1867 Eotienten oils
geneicn unb 1886 dls gebeiicrt emit,
laiien.