The Newark journal., 1908-08-14
CAUSED A RUFF Us
STORY or che SMALL COG AND
CiSE UMBRELLA
Mrs. Nciniosh's observation-disclosures
and Pappy's Ak.hty fer Making
Trouble ss4iy Disturbed the
Peaceful Congregation.

We had a little excitement in our
church a few Sundays ago. Mrs. Nc
intosh Is remarkable for her singular
absence OF Ilasad. DR.. Potts, the preach
err was reading frem The Scriptures
he account Of the deluga. and when
he came to Ike story of how il rainad
or 50 n any days and nights Mrs. Nc
Intosh became so de ply absorbed in
he narratig and 50 strongly in
pressed with il that she Involuntary
put up her umb .ella and held II over
her head as she sat in the pew.
Mrs Batterwicl, who SITS in the
next pew in front, always brings her
leg o church with her, and when Mrs.
Mcintosh suddenly raised her umbrei
la The action affected the sensibilities
of Mrs. Butterwieks dog in such a
manner that he began to bark furious
ly. Then the sexton came in and tried
to remove the animal, but it lodged
into vacant pew on the other side Of
the aisle and delied him. barking all
the time most vGeiferously.
Then the sexton became indignant
and flung hymn book at the dog,
whereupon the dog few OFT and BIT
him On the leg The hubbub in the
church was by this time, o. course
something simply dreadful Not only
was the story of the deluge interrupt
ed but the wicked boys in the gallery
actually "sickc1f the dog at the sex
ton, and seemed to enjoy the contest
exceedingly.
Then Deacon Jones came after the
dog with his walking stick; whereupen
the animal actually dashed toward the
pulpit, and ran up the steps in such a
fierce manner that DR.. Potts all at
once mounted On the chair to get out
of the way of the beast, and he said
that if this disgraeeful scene did not
soen cone to an end he should dismiss
the congregation. Then Deacon Jones
crept up the steps, and after a short
struggle he seized the dog BY The hind
leg and walked down the aisle with
him, the dog meanwhile yelping with
supernatural energy
Mrs Mcintosh turned around to
she did so she permitted her umbrella
to droop over so that the end of one of
! the ribs caught in Mrs. Butterwick' s
bonnet. A minute later. when she
Strengthened up the umbrella, the bon
net was wren ehed off and hung dang
ling from the umbrella Mrs Butter
wick had become exceedingly warm
OF 10
against her dog, but when Mrs McIn-
tosh removed her bonnet she fairly
boiled over and, turning around white
with rage, she screamed:
What did you grab that bonnet for,
you green-eyed catamount? Amt you
made enough fuss in this yer taber-
nacle to-day skeering poor, innocent
dog, without snatching off such bon.
nets as the likes of YOU can't afford to
wear, no matter how crazy you are,
you red-headed lunatic you You let
my bonnes alone, or I'll warm you
with this parasol even if it is in meet
ing. now mind met"
Then Mrs Mcintosh seemed to rea-
lie that her umbrella made her con.
spieuous, so she furled it and conclud-
ed to go home And as she stepped
into the aisle Mrs Butterworth gave
hex this parting salute:
"Sneaking off before the collection,
too. You'd better spend less for jew
elry and give more to the poor heath
ell, If you don't want to ketch it here
after"
Then she began to fan herself furi-
ously. and as things became calmer
Dr.. Potts resumed the story of the
food.
Mrs Mcintosh has moved into a
back pew, and because the deacons re-
quested Mrs. Butterworth to leave her
dog at home she has seeded from the
PTasbyterians, and she now declares
that the Lutheran faith is the only re-