davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1908-08-27

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The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
The Duties of a Bishop.

The church in America, of every de-
nomination, it is not too much TO say,
now looks on az the effort of the Epis-
eopaI diocese Of Washington 10 choose
a spiritual head. Three elections have
been held, months have passed in the
negotiations, the high Office has been
twice declined, and now the news is
that the clergyman of the third choice
hesitates
No one viii assume that the honor
is unappreciated. On the contrary,
there is evidence that only the noblest
sense of duty has restrained Bishop
Brent of the Philippines-on whom the
election has twice fallen-from aban-
doning his enviable distinction in the
far Orient and representing his faith
at the American Capital. From him
who now has the post under considera-
ton, DR.. Mann. of Phillips Brooks great
Trinity Church, there has been no lack
of feeling that the honor is great, even
though for the present he seems in
clined TO yield to the importunings of
his parishiOners and remain in Boston
The new difficulty is that of suppose
tional incidentals to the Office 1t Is
the stored expense in time and money
attendant on the administration of the
bishoprie which gives this latest choice
pause. He has been told that the out
lay for entertainment, and presumably
the demands upon the bishops time in
vOlved in it, have assumed proportions
which rival the demands of spiritual
and executive leadership.
If this has been true in this Capital
diocese-and every friend of the church
in our democratic country viii hope it
has not been-it would seem as though
the clergy Of Washington, of the Epis-
cOpal faith and every other, would well
come opportunity to correct the mis-
take. Surely the functions of a bishop
are social only in the most secondary
sense Surely the leaders Of no church
will look willingly on such customs as
would strain the resources OF It's Splr-
itual leaders for the sake of recep-
tons and dinners. Surely the church,
as represented by clergy and laity alike,
would not willingly permit the causes
of administration, of charity, Of faith,
TO suffer because of conflict otherwise
with secular standards. These things
cannot be. The career of the late
Bishop Satterlee disproves them. The
apprehensions of DR.. Mann are plainly
not founded IN clear understanding of
the situation in Washington and the
good faith of the church in this city
would seem to require that he be so
Informed Enthusiastically and immedi-
ately.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
Secure Because Incapable.

The New York Times, a Democratic
newspaper that is supporting Mr.. Taft,
speaking of the meeting in Chicago of
the two candidates for President, says
it would not have been possible to
bring Tilden and Hayes or Cleveland
Rnd Blaine together in any such way on
account of the intensity of feeling over
the issues of the campaign. 1t thinks
the fact of Mr.. Taft and Mr. BRYAN
meeting at a banquet Is Indicative of
q belief that this campaign is different
from any other the country has wit
messed in recent years.
There will be difference of opinion as
to whether the lack of excitement is
due, as the New York Times thinks,
to the belief that the election Is all
over and that the only thing in dispute
Is the size of Mr.. Taft's majority in
the electoral college. But there Is no
doubt that the feeling of many men
that there is no real issue in the cam
paign accounts for their failure TO get
excited about it and 10 take that sort
of interest in it that accompanies a
campaign where lines of division are
sharply drawn. All business men do
not feel that business interests are
jeopardized by the elections outcome.
In this particular Mr.. Bryan is ex-
ceedingly fortunate. His candidacy
comes at an opportune time. First, we
have had a business panic. While this
fact in no way prevents another, and
q worse one, the general feeling is
that times are going TO mend. Mr..
BRYAN has also been most adroit in
allaying fear of his policies. And, sin
gularly enough, the very absurdity of
some of his suggestions relieves the
country of the fear that they viii ever
be put into effect.
It is recognized that 50 far as the
bank guarantee is concerned it viii be
impossible for Congress to enact such
a law without revolutionizing the en-
tire national bank system. As this can
not be done quickly, those who be-
lieve the scheme harmful know that
Mr.. Bryan cannot hurt the country
right away with this plan As for his
trust remedy, it seems so fantastic that
nobody takes it seriously. 1t is rather
g sad commentary that business men
will not become excited about can
didate's- proposals because they cannot
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
A BIAS. END SEAT HOG.

With the advent Of October and
oysters comes the undOing Of that
pestiferous object which we have all
sworn at through the summer-the
end-seat hog This species begins TO
{nbabit the street cars early in April.
wakes fat in sultry August, and by
the end Of August owns the earth
During the winter time he emulates
the snake, the squirrel. and few
other animals and crawls into seclu-
sion. This kindness on the part of
the end-seat hog IS not voluntary,
but comes Of necessity, inasmuch as
the seats all run lenEthwise and there
is no possible means by which he may
derive JOY by seeing other people
climb over his lap
Outlines, the end-seat hog, whom
we all know, has no lap, for he's too
fat to do anything but take up room.
Frequently his mouth contains a cigar
which burns a hole in our coat as we
pass. Stin more frequently he has his
foot upon the back Of the seat in front
and just Graves the opportunity Of see
ing us doing a leap-frOg stunt.
But the day Of his passing is near.
The population rejoices and october
and the closed street ear IS greeted with
acclaim. But boast not. proud one. he
shall return again and during the win
ter shall accumulate recruits an hun
bred fold.
StiIl. It's well to rejoice over temper
airy pleasures: Selah.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
MOON LOCKS LIKE BRYAN.

During the course Of The Naked
TrHth.' the short comic opera that
formed part Of the bin at Chase's last
week, there IS a pretty scene when the
same old stage moon rises on the same
curtain while the chorus girls and the
actors and actorines sing 10 It with
hands waving gently and souls yelling
up-welling is the wOrd-in their eyes
II may have happened on lots Of other
nights or It may not; the reporter cant
be there every night, so he doesn't
know. But, at any rate, in the middle
Of The song, directed at the beautiful
phenomenon up there so high. that had
eyes which winked and a mouth which
twitched vIsibly. man sitting on one Of
the plush seats remarked in a loud voice
so that other people could hear:
Amt he the goods; he looks ike
Bryan"
Yes" remarked another sitting near,
when the spotlight faded out and the
phenom went with it. He looks now
like Bryann look after the election.
He's faded away"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11

be persuaded to take them in earnest.
Yet that is unquestionably true of
much that Mr.. Bryan proposes.
Of course, there is a danger in Mr..
Bryan's proclivity to take up new ideas
and new remedies for public ills. No
one can tell what he would do in the
White House, and in the event of his
election there would be a long period
of uncertainty and wonder as to where
he would break out next. The worst
danger would be that which would
arise from the possibility, more the
probability, of Mr.. Bryan taking his
election as a mandate to reform the
world.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
BELIEVES IN SMILES

EDWARD II. Thomas. corDorsrfo- c0,,-
sci OF the District Of Columbia. fs g.
CIT as COOd-natured as he looks A M.
o. rather small stature, but Of srocl-1,
oullo, he IS a veritabIe fountai, Of go
humOr, and the man who calls on br-,,
with a Crouch usually leaves his of,-ca
win a smiling cOuntenance. Re fs a.
ways on the sunny side OF the man z,1
MS pleasant manner and hearty 49,
snake have won for MIN many a stanob
friend.
M Thomas believes in good humor
rom philosophical standpoint re
argues that the man with q long raca
and an habItuaIly bored exnressfC, -
only gets less out Of life than the -1s1
with smile, but also that the &c.
does better work and in every sa7sa
OF the word is a better citizen Briefly
the man With a smile is the man worth
While, according 10 Mr. Thomas.
NJ Thorlas lectures on the law OF
equity Jurisprudence a. the National
University, and no was given an oDoor-
tunity 70 put MS theory into practice
in one Of The class rooms the o+bsr
night After one Of his lectures ne
decided 70 question the class. 10 find
out how much they had absorbed from
his talk.
The idea didn't seem 10 meer with
the approval 0f all the students. AMI
whenever one Of their number. was carl
ed 70 his feet all sorts Of near-humorous
remarks were made. and the room was
IN an UPrOer. Repeated efforts 10 re-
store quiet while questions were being
answered met with no success.
Did Mr. Thomas get mad, and threat
en- al SORTS Of desperate things. as most
professors would have done under the
same circumstances Not he 1Ir
Thomas good humOr vas not rufaed
Tor = moment he thought II was as
good a joke as the students.
'.Au right he said IT'S your time
that Is being taken up" and with a
smile he closed the book Wen try
II again tomorrow night"
And the next night things were lust
as they should be. Seeing that tIley
could net disturb Mr.. Thomas good
Eunor. the class tried no more. prauks
OF the village cUt-up variety. Mr.
Thomas IS very popular with the stu
dents
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
MEYER SAYS ONLY MULES
CAN STOP POLITICAL Talk
Postmaster General Shows Burst of Humor-Little
Stories of Persons and Things of Interest
to Washngtonians

Postmaster General, Meyer IS Of a seri-
Gus turn Of mind, but he has a bit Of
humOr in his makeup, nevertheless
Being looked upon as the shrewdest
politician in the Presidents Cabinet
he is the objective point for news
paper correspondents on Cabinet days.
Last week as Mr. Meyer emerged
from the Whits House a newspaper
man asked.
Mr.. Postmaster General, can't you
give US some news about the Cabinet
meeting2
There really is nothing to say" re-
piled the Cabinet officer. I'VE dis
cussed nothing Of especial Importance %
do you mean 70 say you did not dis
cuss politics7" the newspaper man
queried.
The Postmaster General burst into
laughter. When he recovered his usual
serenity he said:
do you suppose were were all muz-
zled2''
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
MOSES ON THE CLERK.

being a translation OF the proverbs OF
MOses-The Meek Government Clerk
'Harken not. my son, TO the man who
watcheth the clock. What though he
set away with the bluff, he is q man
full OF guile, and good is not in him.
But heed well the man who worketh
overtime; verify. he hath much expert
ence, and IS versed IN the ways Of hu-
mility.
AS q lad he hath been taught that
his employer lOveth a cheerful worker
He EoetE forth into the big world with
out a timePiece; his work shall be his
sun dial, and the end OF his ambition the
close of the days labOrs. He scorneth
the man who throweth the big bluff; he
Of the loud voice who proclaimeth from
the hOusetops the news OF his mighty
deeds. He passeth him by as he would
q smallpox hospital
He careth not that the man getteth
Of 10 so to the ball game, while he.
sans UmepieCe, worketh over the trial
balance Twas as his forefather said;
but there viii come a time OF reckoning.
He refuseth 10 believe otherwise,
when the day Of reckoning is delayed,
and as the man who watcheth the clock
lifteth his voice louder and louder. Yer
lily, yet, the prophecy must come true.
lie envieth not when the chief clerk
confereth the emblem OF the Order Of
the Faithful Yea our friend worketh
harder and harder and waiteth upon the
Civil Service Commission He hath been
taught that the way Of humility IS best
and refUseth 10 grow discouraged he
harkeneth not TO the rumbIings Of those
who would envy the man Of the loud
voice; he cOmforteth himself with the
solace that It was an accident.
And when he layeth himself down 20
die he watche:h not the clock; he would
stiu live overtime It's the way Of the
pIodder-
And he Of the loud voice and the
soft job cOmeth TO the funeral and
weepeth softly. saying, Poor John.
knew him well Twas a pity that he
never connected with more than $3.50
per-
Thus endeth the first lesson"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
NOT So PARTISAN.

To maintain allegiance TO a political
party in the fact Of an overwhelming
majority, backed by force OF arms. re-
Quires a sturdiness OF conviction unusu-
al IN this day and generation. Such
thought IS impressed firmly upon the
mind Of the ten-year-Old nephew OF Mel
son Conrad, chief inspector Of the
Health Department Of the District
Mr.. Conrad's small relative engaged
actively in the recent campaign. which
waged with force and vigor in the JEFF
fersOn School. and which resulted II the
election Of the Peerless Leader by a
majority exceeding the expectations OF
his stanChest supporters
The boys own inclination was toward
the Democratic candIdaI, but his IA
Their is a Republican, and yielding TO
parental solicitation. he deposited on the
day OF election a ballot for Taft
This fact was not only discovered.
but deeply resented by the Democratic
voters, and after school, they proceeded
10 impress upon Mr.. Colrad's nephew
the error OF his way. His appearance
upon his return TO the bosom OF his
family was such as TO cause deep con-
cern to his loving parents
7 didn't have a chance the lad ex-
planned in answer TO anxious inquiries.
Most all the boys in my room are
Democrats They knocked me down
and then sat on me and told me how
much better II would be for me 4 I
was a Democrat. It's all right, Dad,
to be a Republican. but after what
7 got 7 don't believe ought 20 go
round hOIlerinE about IL"
And his father agreed with him.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
On Gowns and Government.

The Direetoirel We all know it. Not
one Of us but has traced its course
here even and unbroken, there re-
strained and struggling. It's brilliant
Five Hundred, carrying its fat to the
whole world, has arrested the general
interest. And it ends, characteristically
the gown, we mean, not the executive
government OF France at the close of
the eighteenth century in a coup
d'etat.
The theory is that it is revolutionary,
that it follows the overthrow of the
Ultra-Jacobin ruff and modest, though
voluminous, demi-slIirt Actually, it is
not revolutionary at all, merely the
assertion of forces so old that it is
associated in the mind of every one
of us students of history land Dress
with a venerable council of ancients.
This, notwithstanding that our view
of it so far has not been of ancients
at all but of youth and of mighty
slender youth at that It is a strip
ping Of style, not a development of it,
"a stripping Of style and almost every
thing else
As matter of cold, philosophical his
torical, analytical, and spare fact, the
Directoire is not so very different. No
new style is Dress is a matter now
of such refinement that the least thing
added-Or taken away-turns the com
monplace and accustomed into the SEN
sational and spectacular. Consider the
pictures in the magazines. Here is one
of Queen Alexandra in her teens. The
effect is certainly not that of the STYLES
across the channel in the kline of the
Directoire. This is rather a billowy
cloud than a shaft Of spidery light.
Is there, then, so much difference? We
have it from ladies of our acquaintance
that it is all in the seeming.
So it is with government. Call it a.
Direetoire and you have the bill to pay.
Call it a republic and there is still the
tax But always it is revealing-of
personality, Of humanity. Sometimes
the effect is good, sometimes bad. so
much depends on what is underneath.
As for US, we do not presume to know
which is best. We only know that the
study Of it is a fine occupation.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
MENACE REMOVED.

Whatever the menace Of japanese in
the Hawaiian Islands was eighteen
months ago. that danger mas now been
eliminated, for few, II any, japanese
are going 10 the islands now. W. W.
Goodale, manager Of one Of the largest
sugar plantations in the Hawaiian
Islands, is a guest at the New Willard.
and. according TO him, the emigration
OF japanese has been practically ended
There have been comparatively no
japanese arriving in Honolulu he saids
''for q number Of months. And while
the Japanese formerly constituted the
bulk Of our labor supply, this decrease
in the emigration has not. during the
last season. caused a great shortage Of
labor to the plantations. one reason
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
CAMERAPHONE AT MAJESTIC

This week Manager Weston, Of the
Majestic, will offer another bright and
catchy vaudeville bill in talEing-pic-
lures.
Opening with an illustrated ssIg fol-
lowing with a silent reel, and d IN the
Cameraphone Talking-Pictures. which
includes the following vaudeville num-
berS: Bridget MCCue, song and dance
turn, including eight wiinsome girls /;
The Sacrifice, a Mexican drama; Al
eXander Mcdonald. the character COM
edian, in song and dance, the House
Cleaning sketch, with everything on the
move, and ''Honeymooning, a musical
sketch.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
ADMITS He TOOK
FUNDS OF FIRM
Arrested on Complaint of Chicago
House and Charged With
ENLIGHTENMENT.

Charged with embezzlement, William
NJ. Heviny, twenty-seven years old, OF
1885 NJ street northwest, was arrested
last evening by Central office Detectives
Evans and O'Dea.
Deviny was employed as Washington
repro sentative of The System a Chi
oago publication, and Is alleged TO have
appropriated to his own use sum Of
money belonging to the firm The ar
rest was made at the request Of Joseph
w. Cox, of the firm Of Leckie, Fulton
& Cox, attorneys representing the
Washington interests Of the Chicago
firm.
The police say Deviny admits taking
small sum. He told the detectives
ne was short of funds, but intended pay
ing the money back.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
DWIGHT ELMENDORF
LECTURES THURSDAY

. Thursday afternoon. October Il, Will
see Dwight Elmendorf. the distinguished
lecturer and artist. at the New National
Theater. presenting the urst Of his ser
les Of illustrated lectures, Of which the
general title IS From the Polar Sea to
the Garden Of Allah
Norway and the Land Of the MID
night Sun is Mr.. Elmeudorfs first
theme Following this Norway lecture,
Holland, Switzerland. Italy, and the
Desert viii be given on successive
Thursday afternoons.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
LAW SENIORS NAME
OFFICERS OF CLASS
Will Hold Office for First Half of
Year-Board of Directors
Chosen.

Officers for the senior class. 90. Ma
uonal University Law School, have
been elected to hold office the first half
of the year. The members so honored
are; President. Henry Lanahan, Of
Maryland: vice president, Charles Van
Week, Iowa; recording secretary, J. D.
Faber, Of Maryland; corresponding sec
Rotary. Rice HOoe, Of Virginia; treas
Urer, r. L. Shanafelt. OF Oklahoma. and
ergeant-at-arms, Shella NJ Hunt. Of
Washington.
same period has been named, with the
following members: William z. Gordon,
North Carolina, chairman; =. c. Clad
felterr Illinois; William J. Johnson. Dis
trict Of Columbia: c. NJ. Jones. North
Carolina; John J. Duffy, Maryland; and
Frederick Bechman. Maryland
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
Well-Known Vocal Instructor Will Have Classes in New
York, Devoting Two Days of Each Week
TO Washington.

shc initiation Of what promises to De
an unusually interesting musical season
in the &aJiCns Capital this winter, aud
the return OF Nine. NOrdiCa to the scene
Of her former triumphs. but also the
birth of ore Of the finest musical audi
tCriums N the entire South. This new.
place Of entertainment is a distinctive
addition 10 the institutions Of Washing
ton. and il is not only one Of the most
attractive but has been architect uraiIv
planned for fine acoustic qualities in
anticipation Of the musical uses to which
1t Is 10 be put
The Program.
The program for the opening evening
viii be as follows:
POIOnaise in A Chopin
Miss Showers.
Grand Aria, La Refine &c Sabe"..
Madame Nordica.
Prologue from "IdEiacci'' -LeOncavaIlo
English songs:
CaJ There was an ancient King
Cb) Twilight. Walter Morse FUNNEL
(c) Two Years AT the Spring
tby reQUeSD Mrs. Beach
Madame NOrdiCa
ttAapSoule AonSrplSe- ------- List
Miss Showers.
French and italian songs:
ca Mia Piclrella' --.-.---.--..-.- Comes
CO. Nell .----.-.-.-...-- ........... FaEre
tC) "Nieiue ChansOn-' .............. BizeI
CD 'AIattinaGa" .........I, eOncayalIo
MaoaTVe NOrdiCa.
ca Requiem Arthur FOOUe
co songs Of the Sword" from
''TOfaua" ........Glough Leighton
AIr- Hastings.
German songs.
ta) "Zueignung'' Richard Strauss
ID ''Er lists. .--.---..-.. Hugo Wolf
O. "W aldesEespraCh" ..... Schumaun
Madame NOrCiCa
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
.FOOR LOEB.

On, To- murnulred Secretary Loeb
as ne showed back his mahogany chair
n the White House and gazed reproach-
IuIy al the formidable stack OF CORE
spondence in front OF him
Being secretary 20 the President is
not what it's cracked up to be-tbesa
days" said Mr.. Loeb.
Being aD-opos Of WHAT Mr.. Loeb
was asked.
oh, just the campaign"
me fact vas that Haskell had inst
addressed another letter to the PresI-
oent which seemed 10 merit another
Presidential castigation-
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
GIVEN UP AS LOST.

Secretary Straus has given up his
brother Nathan az a lost cause, pO-
ILLEGALLY.
Il have been trying TO convert him,
and shcw him the true light, for twelve
years, said the Secretgry OF Commerce
and Labor" and now I have quit try
ing. 1 have one satisfaction, however
BY having a brother on the Democratic
side. and myself on the Republican
side. the straus family Is always sure
10 be on the right side
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-10-11
KNIGHTS AND KING.

The knights rode up with gifts for the
king
And one was q feweled sword,
Ard one was a suit of golden mail,
And one was a golden Word.
He buCkled the shining armOr on
And he giTt the sword at his side,
But he flung at his feet the golden
Word,
And trampled 1t in his pride.
The armor IS pierced with many spears,
Aud the gv-~~d IS brNakinC - +-r--'-.
ut the VOID has risen IL storm ana fiF
30 VanQUisA UuG 20 reign.
William Watson.