davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
VIII Y 2

NAA Why is 1t that the world endures So many arrant frauds, And blatancy in many forms It constantly applauds? Why is 1t fortune turns away When virtue passes by And modesty is still ignored? Again we ask you "Why?" Why is it that a hollow sham Is more than solid deeds And people spend on fripperes The gold another needs? Why Is 1t that we go the pace And hustle till we die, When life is sweet in quiet spots Again we ask you ''Why?" Why is it heiresses affect Those weak decadent counts And give to broken peerages Their wealth in large amounts To wear a worthless coronet, Part of the man they buy, Then waste away in idl@ tears Again we ask you Why" Why is it that in politics The man of honest worth Is always overlooked, and so The rascals claim the earth? And why do women love a chap Who has q past and sigh To claim him for their very own Again we ask you Why" Why Is it that we make mistakes We mortals here below And walk straight into foly's traps, Most everywhere we go? Why is it that we never learn, No matter how we try, The bitter lessons taught to us Again we ask you Why" Why is it that no person lives Completely free from care And no intending form of bliss Is met with anywhere? Oh. why is this and why is that? The foolish questions fly. We, do not know. good people, so Again we ask you Why"
 JUST REMEMBER THIS. There is tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to for tune" but if you wait to see what Bill Smith is going to do, you will never get anywhere.
 EFFECTIVE TREATMENT. Tt makes no difference how much wine drink at dinner" Why" When the waiter brings the bill it sobers me-
 WHEN IT FAILS.
 Simply walk your troubles off That's a good rule maybe; Not, however, when you must
 Walk the floor with babyi
 IN GAY NEW WORK My father is a college professor" That's nothing. My father is on the Thaw jury"
 ANSWERED. What is Platonc lover "The kind that invariably leads to divorce suit"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17
REPLIES.

 Start the pianolas!' shouted Fighting Bob"
 James Whitcomb Riley could count on the old sweetheart vote.
 United States Marshal Abernathy of Oklahoma catches wolves alive. We pre- sume he sprinkles salt on their tails.
 Senator Jeff Davis is a hero-to some people.
 It would be a hard job to wiring the water out of Arkansas after a heavy rain.
 When a man gets money that's the time he begins to want sympathy.
 In Henrietta Crossman's case "The Pill grim's Progress" was toward bankruptcy. An eastern man who was dumb made a map of his stomach ache. No doubt 1t looked just like an earthquake map. The Diversions of Churchgoers' Is topic under discussion. About all the diversion they have is taking nap and looking at other peoples clothes.
 George Bailey of the Houston Post brags about the 'perfumed breeze of Grand Old Teas" We remember that the breeze which formerly blew over Buffalo Bayou had rare and exotic perfuhe. PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Every college is now ambitious to have it's own presidential candidate. Yale hopes to have in Taft a man that will succeed Harvard's Roosevelt but it is counting a chicken that may never hatch
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17
RETRosPECTIoN.

When life draws to close When life draws to a close The memory of gentle words,
 The perfume of rose The sunshine of day gone by And neer to be forgot. Or else the tears we shed of yore Upon some hallowed spot.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Speaker Cannon is an absolute boss, and he really has no use for exple- tives.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

The South Americans must begin to think we have battleships to burn when they see Is of them out on a big junket.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17
LEE GUYS GOING.
Washington Herald.

From the Washington Herald.
 With joss sticks burning brightly at the head of his coffin, rones to carry him over the river and paper houses and ami
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

If 16 massive battleships do not make the world tip up when they reach the Straits of Magellan nothing will.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

The Yale clique Is behind Taft, but the organized labor clique is not, and the latter outvotes the former 100 to 1.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

MT. Fairbanks would feel at home in refrigerator car when he travels.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

The Thunderer on an American basis will emit sparks and flashes as well as sound.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

The Vanderbilt-Szechenyi marriage license cost but $1. No $2 ones are issued even to plutocrats.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Secretary Taft is now engaged in overruling the decisions Judge Taft made in Ohio.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17
AROUND THE COUNTRY

Florado rlmes-u Union: We haven't yet heard of any factory turning out Ala bama legal size 24-inch revolvers. Why this delay?
 Houston Post: Texas is not only many times as large as Mississippi and vastly more populous, but the Mississippi legls- lature is in session.
 Washington Post: Instead of being called a liar or undesirable citizen, Ad- miral Brownson seems to have had the whole dictionary thrown at him.
 Savannah News: The health officer of St Louis reports that 4,3S5 babies were born In that city last year. We had no idea that there were so many poor people in St. Louis.
 Memphis News-Scimitar: Mrs. Elinor Glyn has given to America novel en- titled Three Weeks" What America should do to Mrs. Glyn is to give her a sentence of 90 days.
 Springfield Republicans: There is some thing strange in that story of the suicide of the captain of the football team at the university of Kansas while 'crazed by overstudy.' Is not football an antidote for overstudy?
 Philadelphia North American: A Con necticut couple, were married by long, distance telephone. If somebody would now devise system of housekeeping by wireless there would be an end to the divorce problem
 Norfolk Vlrginian-Pilot: That Missouri city's mayor who has resigned the mayor ality to accept the position of manager of the local baseball team is doubtless q bigger man in the eyes of his home peo- pie than he was before.
 Boston Herald: These continued s100, 900 debutante parties in Philadelphia would seem to show that the late pinch isn't being felt there to any great extent. Or is Philadelphia sassiety disposed to be ut terly oblivious and reckless?
 New Orleans mes-Democrat: The Russian Christmas was celebrated a few days ago. Santa Claus evidently made no attempt to climb down the czar's chimney, or we should have learned of his summary arrest and incarceration.
 Washington Herald: A practical joker crawled under his house in rural Penn sylvania and yowled like wildcat He has been busy picking birdshot from out his anatomy ever since, and is firmly resolved not to rock any boats next sum- mer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Mrs. Evelyn Thaw must have been impoverished by the first trial. for she is wearing last years elothes-that blue froek and the rest of that school girl outfit.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

The administration has suddenly dis covered that it is the true friend of labor.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

The lines above represent a procession. of Birmingham gentlemen en route to a Birmingham drug store with prescriptions for a "tonc.'
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Stuporous melancholy is the grouch under new judicial name
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Ex-President Cleveland was a de-
 positor in the Knickerbocker Trust, and he assents to the rehabilitation plan. Unlike Mark Twain, he does not say how much be has in the concern.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Japan hopes to make more baskets and cottons hereafter than shimose and rifles. Her ambition for war is outrun by her desire to get rich.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17
FAME

There was a lady novelist
 Who wrote each year a book, But nothing that she ever did Would draw & passing look, Until she hit upon a theme
 That made the people blush And then her latest "masterpiece'' Was sold out with a rush.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Rear Admiral Evans should receive his promotion to a vice-admiralcy as soon as he has safely rounded tho Hofn-not a horn.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17
A ROAST

"scribbler has written a poem about his dog
 "He should be arrested for cruelty to animals"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

The Brooklynite in the pride of his tunnel trips is inclined to snub the bridge that in the past carried him safely over.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

The next Nobel prize should go to the man who can discover and circam- vent the grip germ. He would be the worlds greatest benefactor
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Abd-el-hziz does not propose to be pushed off a throne by a scab Sultan if he has to call upon France and Spain for help
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Brer. Ground Hog is winding up his alarm clock.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

The undertakes of Chicago have de- cided to call themselves morticians, but thus far they have not made the change compulsory on patrons.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Washington Post: Instead of being called liar or undesirable citizen, Ad- miral Brownson seems to have had the whole dictionary thrown at him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Cuba should be handed back to the Cubans when the republicans of the Joe Cannon persuasion revise the tariff.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17
oIIR DAIrNTLESs FLEET.

| The enemy was reported to be in sight. l Start the pianolas!'' shouted Fighting 1 Bob"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Savannah News: The health officer of St. Louis reports that 14,3S5 babies were born In that city last year. We had no idea that there were so many poor people in St. Louis
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Houston Post: Texas is not only many times as large as Mississippi and vastly more populous, but the Mississippi legls- lature is in session.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Memphis News-scimitar Mrs. Elinor Glyn has given to America a novel en- titled Three Weeks" What America should do to Mrs. Glyn is to give her a sentence of 90 days
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

tliflfl.iltltltl!l
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Florado Times-union: We haven't yet heard of any factory turning out Ala bama legal size 24-inch revolvers. Why this delay?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17
JUST REMEMBER THIS.

There is a tide in the affairs of men which, taken at the flood, leads on to for tune.'' but if you wait to see what Bill Smith is going to do, you will never get anywhere.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17
EFFECTIVE TREATMENT.

EFFECTIVE TREATMENT. Tt makes no difference how much wine l drink at dinner" Why" When the waiter brings the bill it sobers me-
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

James Whitcomb Riley could count on the old sweetheart vote.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Springfield Republican,: There is some thing strange in that story of the suicide of the captain of the football team at the university of Kansas while ''crazed by overstudy.' Is not football an antidote for overstudy?
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala, postofhce as second-class matter under act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

What is Platonic lover
 "The kind that invariably leads to a divorce suit"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Men, at some times, are masters of
 their fate. Julius Caesar.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-17

Washington Herald: A practical joker crawled under his house in rural Penn sylvania and yowled like wildcat. He has been busy picking birdshot from out his anatomy ever since. and is firmly resolved not to rock any boats next sum- mer
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
Winter Session Of the Vermont
Dairy School.

The I4th session of the Vermont
Dairy School at Burlington will be
held this winter in the newly COM
pleted Morrill, Hall. The term opens
Monday, December %, and closes
Saturday, February 20. The course
is designed to meet a demand for a
short and intensely practical train
ing in the handling OF milk and the
manufacture of milk products. 1t is
open to the creamery worker, the
dairyman, to school teachers, to
women as we'll as men, to all, ex-
perienced or not, who wish to. learn
the present status of the dairy in
dustrY.
The new building, costing sixty
thousand dollars, was built with
especial reference to dairy school
work.
No entrance examinations are
required. Students may be of any
age above I6, and either sex. A ten
dollar fee is the only school charge.
Parties contemplating attendance
should write for circular to Dairy
School, Morrill, Hall, Burlington,
VT.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
Full Of Words.

A darby preacher of Mobile,
never at loss for words, was once
commencing to his congregation
one Of the organs of the church,
and, according to an Alabama poll
tician, this is how he did it:
"The missionary bulletin of this
church needs subscribers. 1t is
young and unfnancial, but through
the fundamentally of backbone and
grit it will become an ideal. 1t was
ushered into existence out of purely
innocent contemplation Of moral
and religious good, which would in
all probability result from carefully
agitated principles of righteousness.
The bulletin will be observed min
CLING in social convolutions to fur
nish society with sheaves of harvest
of those reasonable products COM
mon to social contingencies, The
tone of the whole will be mission
airy work" Paul Pioneer Press.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
oxntsr Enrminn.

Oyster cultivation is not an Amer
lean idea, History tells of the early
Romans having caught oyster fry on
branches and raised oysters quite
successfully, and from time to time
this and other methods of cultiva-
ton have been attempted in various
European countries.
Oyster farming in America dates
back to the year 1851, when certain
East river New York; oystermen,
observing that young oysters fas-
tened in great numbers to the shells
of other oysters, started the practice
of Smelling their beds and the ground
contiguous to them just before
spawning time.
1t would be hard to find better
definition Of oyster cultivation than
submarine agriculture-for as the
farmer so must the oysterman pre-
pare, seed and cultivate his land.
AS with the farmer also, eternal
vigilance is the one price of success,
for weeds will grow, waste matter
will accumulate, enemies will lie in
wait.-National Magazine.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
SaERBURNE

Mrs. Eugene Hazelton of Bridge
water is with her sister in this place.
Charles Johnson and family of
Rochester visited friends in town last
week and returned home Sunday.
Mrs. Earl Clifford and Miss Vina
Goodnough called on friends in this
place Wednesday afternoon.
Gerald Madden, Guy Welsh, H.
b. Miner, Clarence Kent, D. F.
Spaulding, Adm Campbell, Fred
Johnson and r. S. Morse were the
ones to secure deer in this town.
Several deer were killed by parties
from out of town.
Andrew Town has moved his
family to his fathers place on
Bridgewater hill.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
q a. 3 T . II Z a.
' C.: !; ''' ,;;13z;;3z;::;z;.! =.
EAST BARNARD

Charles Dow is working for Archie
Campbell at Grand View farm.
Bessie Adams went Tuesday to
visit friends at Randolph.
C. A. Dyke is boarding at 1. D.
Adams.
Carlton Elmes has had a friend
from Massachusetts visiting him.
Ebert Miller and wife were in
Montpelier few days ago.
Clarence Thatcher OF Pomfret was
at Frank Billings Tuesday.
Chester Wylie of Oak Park,
Mimi, was recent guest at Herman
Aliens.
Mrs. George Thompson, who has
been visiting friends in Starksboro,
has returned home.
Mrs. Charles Leaser, who has been
i'll, was moved to her fathers few
days ago.
Fred Allen is having some repairs
at his barn, and Adelbert Campbell
and G. A. Dyke are working for
him.
Mrs. Mary Smith has finished
work at Sharon, and Mrs. e. A.
Miller is boarding with her.
Charles Cleveland has moved to
Myrtle Curtis place, and Irving
Allen is to occupy the house vacated
by Mr.. Cleveland's family.
But few deer were taken near
here. Alonzo Densmore and Hugh
Allen, while hunting together, got
one, also o. A. Paige and George
Walker. Mrs. Crystel Crowell was
fortunate in getting one.
The East Barnard Grange met in
their new hall Saturday evening
with good attendance. All were
well pleased with the hall. A good
program was given by the lecturer,
Sister Luna Moore.
The village schools closed Friday.
The scholars gave a good entertain
ment at a school social in the even
ing, which was we'll attended about
$3.50 was taken. After the program
marching was in order. The teach
ers, Miss Mary Shirlock and MISS
Ethlyn Spaulding, have returned to
their homes at South Royalton.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
HARTLAND.
NATURE CLUB MEETING.

The Hartland Nature club held q
very interesting session, Saturday,
November I4th, at Mrs. c. E.
Wards, eighteen members and
guests being present.
After the election of officers, sew
eral observations were reported,
among which were the seeing of a
white robin, a white marked song
sparrow, pine siskini and on Nov.
9TH, a bluebird also the finding of
two lycopodiums, new to Hartland,
Lycopodium sabinaefoliun Wild
and lycopodium tristachyum Pursh.
The paper on "Studies of Eastern
and Western Birds" presented by
Mrs. A. B. Morgan, and illustrated
by beautiful, original water color
drawings OF nearly fifty species of
birds, was greatly enjoyed. The
style Of the paper was somewhat like
that read by Mrs. Morgan, Chen
Miss Eyaline Darling) at the meet
ing of the State Bird Club in Bur
liugton, last January. 1t abounded
in pleasing incident and illustration.
In the name of the Hartland Ma
ture club, the secretary, Miss Flor
ence H. Sturtevant, addressed let
ter to Chairman Hitchcock, of the
committee on agriculture, Montpel-
Ter, protesting against the passage
of the bill on granting shooting
licenses to fruit growers.
The executive committee request
that reports on natural history, to be
contributed by friends of the club,
be sent to the secretary by the first
of December.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
PLYMOUTH UNION

Mr.. and Mrs. Harold TaIbell Of
Sherbure visited at Ryland Taylor's
last week.
Amos Coolidge visited relatives in
Ludlow recently.
Mr.. and Mrs. A. ]. Brown have
returned to Ludlow.
Mrs. E. A. Moore, who has been
quite i'll for a few days with severe
cold, is better at this writing.
Dick Brown shot a fine young
deer last week Friday.
No accident to hunters has been
reported in this vicinity.
The dead deer are all through
with suffering, but the wounded
ones will suffer for some time.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
STATE PRESS.

The Caledonian does not agree
with some of its contemporaries that
the proposed state fair appropria-
ton is class Legislation and expresses
the hope that the bill may pass. The
state fair under its present manage
ment has become one of tho best
advertising assets that Vermont pos
sesses and as an exhibition of Ver-
mont products is in a class by itself
The patronage it gets in its vicinage,
or from those from farther away, will
hardly support it. 1t is highly
proper that TIE state should give it
some aid just as it aids other state
institutions. st. Johnsbury Gale
DOMAIN.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
ny Wholesale.

Colonel James Fisk was once call
ed to meet a woman who recalled
his fathers days as a peddler and
DETAINED him. He had liedAto her
about yard of ninepenny calico, so
she asserted, but Fisk did not think
the old man would tell a lie for 1919
cents, although possibly che might
tell eight for ST." 1t is said that the
elder Fisk refused to subscribe for
the erection of fence about the
cemetery at Brattleboro, the home
Of the Fisks, on the ground that
none was needed, because no man
that was out of it wanted to get in
and none of those who were in could
get out.-Argonaut.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
spirnlnn the EaashsII.

Moisten the rim of breakfast
plate-not merely the outer edge,
but all the raised portion. Place
the half Of an empty eggshell on
the wet surface, the shell being
broken evenly, so as to form little
cup. Now, if you hold the plate up
and tip it slightly, the egg may be
made to not merely slide, but spin
along the rim, and by continuously
altering the inclination angle of the
plate you can cause the shell to spin
all the way round it. 1t will not
spin rapidly, like a top, but as it
goes round the plate it also revolves
slowly about its own axis in the
same direction Now, this, you
know, is just what the earth does in
travelling around the sun, so here
you have an easy and pretty lesson
In astronomy at the breakfast table.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
Town Option a Success.

This paper has often expressed its
belief that the town local option has
worked much better in Vermont
than he old prohibitory law did,
and it now believes in letting well
enough alone. Arguments can be
advanced on both sides of almost any
proposition, and it is easy to see that
some benefits to the smaller towns
would result from county option but
not enough we believe to warrant
the chlnge proposed. Adopting
county option would largely destroy
the local option feature inasmuch
as towns and not counties are the
principal local divisions in Vermont.
The pa, sage Of few amendments,
such as (orbidding the location of
saloon ear a town line, amendments
which ere already before the Legis-
lature, viii warrant the continuance
st the e,isting local option law for
At least mother two years. Bellows
] Ills Tines.
Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-11-21
PRIVATE STAMPS.
Principal Cities Had Their Own spo-
eiaI Issues Years Ago.

Principal Cities Had Their Own Spe-
ciaI Issues Years Ago.
The private carrier stamps of the
United States in use in the Iorties
and early fifties are among the most
interesting memorials of progress
from the quaint customs of a cen
fury ago to the highly advanced
methods of today's civilization. Ev-
cry section of the country got its
private mail carriers just as every
section of the country today has its
moving picture arcade.
One OF the private concerns that
did an extensive business and issued
one of the neatest stamps was the
American Letter Mail company. It's
postal service embraced the states of
Massachusetts, Rhode Island, Con-
necticut, New York and Pennsylva-
MIA, with connections in the princi-
pal cities of>each state.
W. Wyman of New York was one
of the big competitors of the Amer
lean company for New York to Bos=
ton mail. His stamp bore q picture
of q locomotive of those days, draw
Ing what was presumably a mail
coach.
Overton & Co.'s letter express was
also in competition for the same
business, but was rather more am
bilious than Wyman, for they ex-
tended their service as far south as
Philadelphia and had well organ
lied connections at that city for dis
tributing mail over wide territory
in Pennsylvania and adjacent states.
Still another rival Of these mail
men was in the field in the person
of the Hartford mail, famous old
private mail carrier that operated
between the cities Of Hartford, Bos-
ton and New York. There were
several smaller enterprises cover
ing portions of the same ground,
and the fact that they all thriVed
shows that even at that time the adj
vantages of reliable mail communi-
eating methods were appreciated.
Boston had "city dispatch" in
New York, as did Boyd, the latter's
headquarters being at Park place,
and the long series of stamps he
used covered the period from 1914
to 1878. Boston Herald.