Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-19


was done at Henderson in the west
end of this county. Asst is not so
far from Dent county, perhaps
the same "master hand" figured
in both places. And some body is
going to the p~enitentiary for the
dirty work in Iron county.
Putting aside, with an iron will,
my fears for the untowardness OF
the time-it was Friday, 18th
broke away from home surround
ings and heroically boarded the
S:44 A. NJ. train for st. Louis. Sew
eral other Irontonians-in forget
fulness o fthe day, no doubt-at-
tended me on the journey to the
metropolis, some of them with the
inducement of banquet and 9TH
er felicitative doings at the north
end of the line. No such gladness
awaited me there; for some unex-
plainable cause, Mr.. Howe had
omitted me in his list of invitations.
1t may be he thought his 2400 gall
Ions of soup could offer no induce
ment to n already plunged in
the depths of the tureen. At any
rate, along with the colored broth
er, there was no Plate ticketed for
me at his hospitable board, and
any man who says or intimates
that the Coliseum Saturday even
ing was the objective point of my
journey is of fertile imagination
as we'll as of flexible veracity! No.
26 came along promptly on time,
halted, took us in, and proceeded
on its way, and ran into Union
Station a little after midday. The
ride to the city al about as I'M
comfortable as my experience of
later years a parallel. The coach
was cold-I wore my overcoat all
the way-and positively filthy. 1t
was a chair car, too, we'll placard-
ed with "notices" signed by the
State Board of Health, alleging
pains and penalties to him who
splits upon the floor. Yet there is
not a cuspidor anywhere, and he
whose inner organism calls upon
him to ex%pectorate is, as the boys
say, Gin a deuce of a fix!' The
State Board of Health at one elbow
and-to use an Irishism-a bron-
chial affection on the other! Lord,
Lord! | am led to wonder how
our forbears managed to pull
through in the absence of the Med
ical Boards, the Health Boards,
the Pure Food Boards, etc, which
environ, muzzle and numerously
protect their descendants. What
mistits those progenitors would be
If recalled to the pale glimpses Of
the moon! | opine they would
cheerfully return to the narrow
confines which gave them rest and
fenced their persons from med
ding official supervision. But it
isn't nice to spit on the floor, and
the elimination of the cuspidor is
pleasant to the colored gentleman
in whose charge they used to be
given at the end of the run. AS to
the necessity and comfort of the
wayfarer who pays for them
these are scarcely worthy Of con-
sideration; he is but a means to
the end of contributing to the COT
fers of those having him in charge.
Even his "kicking" will soon be
properly designated high treason.
Although politically on the out
side | had a pretty good time in the
city. When | landed the calls
from my inner consciousness for
sustenance we're loud and inces-
SAINT. had breakfasted early and
sparingly. (Who makes a full
meal on the eve OF a journey, with
his ''grip" but half-packed and
the women folks advising, admon,
ishing and giving him repeated
mental memoranda of things to be
done and articles %procured?) But
[ held the ardor of my appetite in
check until a three days. stubble
had been mown from my classic
countenance and the summer VAL
ley dust brushed from my shoes
and clothes. Then, at last, | blest
myself with aFepast that made life
worth the living and the world fair
to look upon. The bill settled and
the waiter slightly tipped, my bus
mess at the Terminal was con-
cluded, and ''down town" and
then about seven miles north OF
"down town"-all for a measly
nickel-I was carried to my desti-
nation. | say "north," because
those familiar with the city verify
my own conception that the direc-
ton was really north. Otherwise,
I wouldn't venture to assert, for,
once | get aboard a street-car
know no other point of the COM
pass: it is always north. The
twists and turns OF the route for
the moment disarranges things,
but the turn made and the straight
forward movement begun, it is
true to the north as the polar star.
This sensation is sometimes not
reassuring when one feels that his
intended destination lies in an
other direction. But faith comes
in, Gains the nerves, and is usual
ly justified by the result. In this
instance, however, | was carried a
block further than | had bargain
ed for, but | didn't mind it, for, if
| had to foot it back | had got just
that much more ride for my nick
ell. The monopoly and | were
quits on the deal. The innocent
from the country isn't always