The Lafayette advertiser. [volume] (Vermilionville [i.e. Lafayette], La.) 1865-19??, 1908-09-04
SHEEP OF NO AVAIL
At LEAST FOR THE PURPOSES OF
A NARCOTIC.
II Any One Doubts It, and Will Take
the Risk Of Asking Mr.. Butter
wick About It. He Will
Be Convinced.


Butterwick had a At Of sleeplessness
one night lately, and after vainly try
ing to lose himself in slumber he hap
pened to remember that he onc read
in an almanac that q man could force
himself to sleep by imagining that he
saw = flock of sheep jumping over .
fence, and by counting them as they
jumped. He determined to try the
experiment, and closing his eyes he
fancied the sheep jumping, and be-
gan to count. He had reached his
140th sheep, and was beginning to
doze of, when Mrs. Butterwick sud
denly said:
Joseph"
We'll, what?"
81 believe that yellow hen of ours
wants to set"
20, don't bother me with such truck
as that now! Shut up and 60 to
Sleep"
Then Butterwick started his sheep
again, and commenced to count. He
got up to 120, and was feeling a. If
he would drop of any moment, when,
just as his 121st sheep was about to
take that fence, n of the twins be-
gan to cry.
Blame that child!" he shouted at
Mrs. Butterwick. why don't you tend
to 1t and put it to sleep. Hush up,
you little brat, or I'll spank you!"
When Mrs. Butterwick had quoted
1T. B~utterwick. although a little nerv-
Gus and excited, concluded to try it
again. Turning on the imaginary NUT
ton, he began n C. more. Only Ga
sheep had slid over the fence when
~Butterwick's mother-in-law knocked at
the door, and asked if he was awake.
When she learned that he was. she
said she believed he had forgotten to
close the back shutters, and she
thought she heard burglars in the
yard.
Then Butterwick arose in wrath and
went down to see about it. He ascer-
tanned that the shutters were closed as
usual. and as he returned to bed, he
resolved that either that woman would
leave the house for good in the morn
ing, or else he would.
However, he thought he might as
well give the almanac plan another
trial, and setting the sheep in motion
he began to count. This time he
reached 240. and would probably have
got to sleep before the 3O0th sheep
jumped had not Mix's new dog in the
next yard suddenly become homesick
and begun to express his feelings in a
series Of prolonged and e~xasperating
bowls.
Butterwick was mad. Dropping the
sheep, he leaped from bed and began
to lombard Mix's new dog with boots,
soap dishes and every loose object he
could lay his hands on. He hit the
animal at last with q plaster bust of
Daniel Webster and induced the dog
to retreat to the stable to think about
home in silence.
1t seemed almost ridiculous to re
sumo those sheep again, but he deter
mined to give the almanac man one
nor chance, so as they began to
jump the fence he began to count,
and after seeing the e~ighty-second
sheep safely over, he was gliding
gently into the land of dreams when
Mrs. B~utterwick rolled out of bed and
fell on the floor with such violence
that she walked both the twins and
started them crying. while Butter
wick's mother-in-law came downstairs,
four steps at a time, to ask them II
they felt that earthquake.
The situation was too awful for
words. Butterwick regarded it for 4
minute with speechless indignation,
and then seizing q pillow he went over
to the sofa in the back sitting-room
and lay down on the lounge. He fell
asleep In ten minutes without the as
sistance Of the almanac, but he
dreamed all night that he was being
butted around the equator by . Cots.
void ram, and he woke In the morning
with a terrific headache and a convic-
ton that sheep are good enough for
wool and chops, but not worth a cent
a. . narcotic.-New York Weekly.