davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-13
Italian Organ Grinders systematically
Annoy the Sick.

Whether things went smoothly or
whether they did not, the clerk in that
particular drug store usually oozed
goodnature; but for some reason he
went ell to pieces when the little Ital-
Ian, who had been treating the few
pedestrians to a wheezy waltz, came
in and asked an apparently civil ques-
ton.
you tella me-" he said, with a
smile and an obsequious bow, any
sick folks cen thisa block?"
The clerk set down half-filled bot
tie and stepped out from behind the
counter with threatening gesture.
g mo-" he Numbered, there is none,
and if there were wouldn't tell you
about them. Get out of here"
The Italian backed awkwardly to-
ward the door, A customer whc for
many months had basked daily in the
genial drug clerks smile, regarded
this display of temper with alarm.
sWhat is the cause of this sudden
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-13
JOF IN HENR
BY GEO. V. HoRART, wHUeH MHueH.")

Dear Bunch: I'm headed for home,
but the hurdles are holding me back.
met a whole flock of "the boys" in
Rochester yesterday morning, and
since most of 'em were making
flying leap for New York, you can be-
lieve me it was swift squad of sports
that climbed into one of Mr.. Pullman's
sleep-wagons and permitted them
selves to be yanked over the rails.
A bunch of brisk ones-belieye me!
There was Charlie Hammond, lead
ing man with the kitty, the Kash
Girl" Company; David Terrence, first
heavy with the melodrama entitled
"The Haunted Automobile; or, Who
Stole the Muff1er?" Frank Westerton,
first low sad with the "Crazy-Quilt
Burlesquers; Emmett Corrigan. who
is lecturing through the provinces on
How to Play Bridge Without Impair
ing the Tonsils;;" Malcolm William,
show-business - when completely
shaved; William Burress, the Bath
Robe King; Charlie Abbott, who sells
that fine Monticello honey-dew, and
Arthur Shaw.
Shaw travels for a clothing house
in Cincinnati, and they call him Slim
because he's getting so fat that every
time he turns around he meets him
self coming back.
He's all to the good-that boy is!
And such cut-up!
Slim knows more lookout
there s-a-lady-over-there!" stories than
any other drummer in the business.
Then there was Nick Dalrymple and
Tod Gilpin-two live ones with full
set of sparks flying
Nick goes after the orders for a
hardware house in Columbus, and he
knows everybody in the world-bar
one family living in Yonkers.
Nick has only one trouble, he will
paddle after the ponies.
Whenever he makes town where
there's a poolroOm his expense-account
gets fat and beefy, and Nick begins to
worry for fear he may win something.
He won $12 in Cleveland once, and
he spent $218 at a Psychologists that
night getting statistics on how it hap
pened.
Tod Gilpin cuts ice for match-fac-
tory in Newark, and he's the life of a
small party.
Tod's main hold is to creep into the
"reading-room" of RUDE hotel after
the chores are done of an evening and
throw salve at the come-ons.
Tod tells them that their town is
the brightest spot on the map, and
they warm up to him and want to buy
him sarsaparilla and root beer.
Then when he gets them stuck on
themselves he sells them matches.
Pipe the gang to quarters and all
rubbern said Slim, about half an hour
after the train pulled out As1r. - -
In the seat ahead of us somewhat
demure-looking Proposition in rain
bow rags had been sampling the seen
cry ever since we started.
We had all given her the glad
glance, but she was very much Cold
Storage, so we passed it up.
AS Slim spoke, the Proposition was
joined by young chap with loose
face, who had been out in the smok.
ing-room working faithfully on one of
those pajama panatella cigars that
bite you on the finger if you show the
least sign of fear.
Just then the train stopped, for a
few minutes, and we were put wise
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-13
o'Day Opposes Double Umpire sysem

Hank O'Day, considered by many
the best baseball umpire in the world,
has come out with point-blank state
ment that he is opposed to the double
umpire system. He gave as his reason
that he has found more trouble work.
ing double than single, as in many
cases he has not only had to give his
own decisions, but sometimes his
mates as well, as in the famous New
York Chicago game, which cost the
New York Giants the National league
pennant. O'Day was wised up to this
play in Pittsburg, when the Pirates
won a game in the ninth inning from
the Cubs on hit by Wilson with men
on first and third, with two out. Will
son hit, and Gill, the man on first,
failed to go to second, instead cutting
across the lot to the clubhouse. Evers
called for the bail and asked for Q de-
cision, but neither O'Day nor his
working partner was watching for it,
and so could only allow the Pittsburg
run to score.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-13

slows My little GirIy Wirly?"
muttering "Du Dist Elm Narr! Du Dist
Elm Narr!"
Just then the train pulled out and
saved our lives.
Dave, Frank, Bill, Slim, Charlie,
Malcolm, and rushed feverishly up
to the other end of the car to cool off,
and there we landed on the outskirts
of a bunch of drummers, who were
tanning each other with fairy-tales
about the goods they sold.
'I'll back three of the lads in that
collection to dream longer than any
other drummers on the track.
It's a pipe that they can sell bills
to each other all day and never wake
up.
A guy named Mutt Dawson was
holding forth.
He's a most reckless spendthrift
with his words, and the meanest man
to the English language I ever
listened to.
Mutt was telling them about hypno.
tizing John Wanamaker merchant
prince in Pikesville, Ind, to the ex.
tent of 5000 for open-work socks, farm
er's size, and then aAchap named Jack
Dean sent his balloon up by telling us
how he sold the Siegel-C oopers, of
Bugsport, Ia, $500 worth of Panama
hats for horses. 4
The Hot Air association was in full
session when Buck Jones caromed
over from the other end of the car
and weighed-in with us. sL
Buck is a sweller. s&e@7 +,
He thinks he strikes IL on all occa.
sions, but his clock is all to the pazaz
Buck isn't drummer-nay! nay!
take back your gold!
He'll look you straight in the eye
and tell you he's a travelling salesman
nix on the drummer!
think Buck sells canned shirt.
waists for the Shine Brothers.
And now, Bunch, here is where !
affix one of Uncle Sans promises-to-
carry to this document and drop it in
the little green box.
The Same Ever,
j. H.
Copyright, 1908. by G. w. Dillingham; Coz
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-13
In Doubt.

'Is your son-in-law, the duke, good
conversationalist?
WELL" answered Mr.. Cumrox, ''he's
willing enough. But my foreign vo-
cabulary is limited. I can never feel
sure whether he is talking about his
pedigree or thinking up a menu for
dinner Star.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-13
Worlds Bowling Marks Broken.

Two worlds bowling records were
broken in st. Louis by the Schneidt
team of the st. Louis Ten Pin league.
The team totaled 1906 pins for three
games, an average Of 1,102. The high
game was 1888. Three Of the play.
ers averaged above 241.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-13
He Did.

First Waiter-You tried hard
enough to work that swell guy for a
tip. Did he give you one?
Second Waiter-Yes; he gave ma
two. He handed me dime and told
me never to Judge mans wealth by
his clothes he wore.-Chicago Tribune
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-13

Farm laborers in the south, paid
by the month or year and fed and sup
ported by the landowner, receive IS
and 40 cents a day during working sea.
son. eF ~ 4i0s s
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-13

Stranger Tin Gotham) -This is .
pretty rough part of the city, isn't it?
Cabby-Yes, sir; this is Crater New
York.-Chicago Tribune go
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-13
AfEument.

Many a lawyer who puts up a good
argument in court fails to be convipcs
ing at home.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-13
IRRITABLE MAN HAS A "KIcK."

Copyright, 1908. by G. w. Dillingham; Coz
Los Angeles herald., 1908-06-14

The next morning early he went off, ana
stayed away all day On his return, at night
he calmly informed me that he, too, hao
shipped with Captain Benson.
/ could almost have hugged him IN my
delight, for, although l had determined TO
make the voyage, ! was something OF honle
boy, and the thought of going away among
strangers fairly made me homeslck before 1
started; but, with Doph along, 1T would not
seem half SO bad.
Three weeks later, the Casco-Captain Ben
sons vessel-left her moorings, with Doipn
and me on board. We put in at New BED
ford for the remainder of the crew, and then
sailed away with Valparaiso as our hrst port
| The voyage out was long and tedious
Captain Benson was good man, as captains
of whaling vessels go, and thorough sea
man The crew were many OF them 9own'
casters. like ourselves, and, besides Dolpn
and me, there were four other boys. :,
| A whaler's life is not one to be envied'
although there is fascination about 1t, afls-
! ing from the danger excitement ana, ABOVE
Our papers read that we shipped for three
wears or for so much OF that time as the 'oy-
age might be. ..n
home in eighteen months or we might nave
scarcely half cargo when the time was up.
Each man had his "lay," or proportlonate
share of the proceeds of the voyage, ana
therefore each had an interest IN obtaining
The weather remained exceptionally line
! all the distance to Valparaiso, A smart gaze
1 would have been a relief sosthe older sailors
declared for we had nothing but routine
: work to perform all day.
a Dolph had purchased number of books
J, hefore sailing: in fact l think he spent more
a for the books than he did for his outfit, which
was exceedingly meagre.
Among the books was a school astronomy
q and of nights he used to bring it out, and &
Z large portion of the watch BECAME deepl.
4 interested in the mysteries of the southern
v heavens. ar,
They dropped the nnek nickname O+ Of dol
q q dubbed him Professor" instead.
i Although l had been wont to sneer at hi
:, love for books | could not help admitting Il
,nvself that his studying came in very hand.
E, now, now, and greatly helped all hands to Will
h away the long hours. ~.
- AZ Valparaiso we touched for water an,
= fresh provisions, and at this port two mel
and boy deserted and escaped inland be
h yond pursuit.
~ A little while aboard whaler often sick
= ems greenhorns, but Dolph and l determine
Los Angeles herald., 1908-06-14

to "see it out" ano
On leaving Valparaiso the Casco got on
northwesterly course, and before long we
struck the feeding ground OF schooi oi
"humpbacks."
Then the FUN" commenced, as Captain
Benson called it, but it proved the hardest
work ! ever performed.
We obtained three whales out of the
school, and for fourteen days and nights
| was clothed, slept in, ate, drank and tairiy
lived on whale oil.
Everything which came from the cooke
galley tasted and smelt OF the stuh. My
clothing and bunk were saturated, and 1t
| seemed to me that l really perspired the
same greasy fluid.
| The great blubber kettles were boiling over
the fires all the time. and the black smoke Ok
assembled heavenward, by day clouding the
sun and hiding the skies at night.
| The officers were sharp. the men were
cross, and we boys had hard time of IT
generally. But the Job was finally over, all
was cleared up, and the Casco bore away to
the westward. leaving the refuse and car,
cases of the whales to the tender mercies q q
army of which had gathered about us while
we were trying out"
When the oil was all slowed away, every
body expressed their qualification, and Cap
plum s duff"-the sailoss' greatest treat-te
be distributed among. the men. with which
to celebrate our good luck.
Our cook was a famous fellow at plum
duff, and served it hot, with molasses sauce
and 1 believe / never tasted anything hali
SO good.
But the good fortune which had thus fal
attended the Casco did not continue, ano
the following spring found us still on the
hunting grounds, with but one more whale
to our count. Besides, we had lost two
boats, and two men from each, by the at
tack of an old bull whale.
As the weather grew warmer we went far
ther north, and by midsummer were beating
off the. coast of Alaska, sighting stray
whale now and then. but never making
1 catch.
supply Captain Benson decided to put int.
Cook Inlet (Cook River ON the map), anC
! for the mouth of this inlet me made sail.
Land was already in sight, when a CT,
from the lookout brought all hands to tn
deck.
Mr.. Mayburn, the third officer, went Vi
the rigging like cat, with glass in hi
hand; but from the deck we could plainl
see the spouting of school of whales, al
most in our wake.
/ about ship!" roared Captain Benson.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-06-14

And we sprang to our places and sent her
about as quickly as an old tub the size and
build of the Casco could be turned.
were assigned to Mr. Mayburn's boat.
The men bent to the oars with a will. and
the long whsleboat cut through the water
like a knife. Silently we made for the near
est black body, among those lazily rolling on
the waves.
Nearer and nearer we approached. Jack
Roberts arose in the bow, drew back his
arm, clutching the harpoon firmly, and then
Back water, men'' exclaimed Mr. May
burn.
And we darted back from the huge animal.
while the officer and Jack Roberts quickly
The whale. after its first convulsive start.
backed away. and we saw little black OBJ
ject by its side.
We've ,c made mistakeii" cried Mr.. May
| l heard Jack Roberts groan, and his hands
clutched the steering oar convulsively, while
every face among US blanched.
There is always more or less danger at
tending the capture of whale, but to at
tack one with a calf is almost certain to be
| a disastrous venture.
The whale continued to back away, and
then suddenly, dove beneath the surface.
Pull, men!" cried Mr.. Mayburn, sharply.
quill"
We obeyed the command, well knowing
that our lives depended upon it.
Hardly had we got away twenty fathoms
when the whale arose exactly where our boat
had been few moments before.
| We swung round and made ready for
another attack but the whale commenced
running in shore, towing us in her wake
We passed within half a mile of the Casco,
and our speed was something terrific. Like
a cloud low down on the horizon the land
appeared, and spread out and grew, broader
and more distinct as we approached.
By-and-by the whale shifted her course and
made northerly direction along the coast
just at this point we noticed that the sky
was becoming rapidly overcast, and that the
wind .was rising to gale.
The Casco had long disappeared from sight,
! as well as the other boats. The thought Of
being alone on the ocean, fast to an ugly
course, we might have slipped the line; but
} that was not to be thought. of so long as she
tried to do US no more damage.
sMr. Mayburn,'' suddenly said Jack Rob.
, erts, pointing to the west as he epoke, "we'd
best drop out. of this race. for we're goin' to
: ketch it. sirl' .
"You're right, Roberts," replied the officer.
| CONTINUED ON PAGE SIX
Los Angeles herald., 1908-06-14

~ DOLPHUS! The name was enough
n to disgust us. We came of PLAIN
W. hard-headed family. who thought
more of muscle and physical courage
than of education and the fine arts. There
were plenty of Johns and Edwards, Williams
and Henrys among us, and Adolphus came
as unwelcome as a duckhng in brood oil
chicks. But he had to come, as he was our
own cousin, an orphan, and with no trlends
in the world but US.
Poor fellow! he suffered endless cnaIn4e ~
and plaguing at our hands. He grew up to
be a tall, slightly built, boy,, with no great
bodily strength, but agile and spry as cat;
Father used to say that what Dolph lacked
in size was made up II temper was eSpsSe SIsa
" aggravated by the treatment he received
from my brothers.
/ was nearest his own age, while the others
were all Older and l couldn't help pitylng
him, although | had little secret contempt
for him as well. Frequently l thought that
had Dolph been possessed of more spirit. he
would have left surroundings that certainly
were distasteful to him, and run away.
of his nature which made him stay because
he had promised his dying mother he would
until he became of age.
He was far from being burden to father
as he performed more than his proportionatt
share of the chores really, foor the older fel
lows "put upon him" considerably.
Until he was seventeen, Dolph obtained al
the schooling he could ana reau ana sluuiet
great deal, for he had a natural thirst fol
such things; but, as he never eglected hi
work, father made little comment on his
studious habits
By this time Dolph had learned all thu
district school teacher could teach him, and
good deal more beside. Just at this time
too, my father was thrown from his team
and injured SO badly that in few days h
NV brother John was already married. an
settled in a neghboring town, and mothe
went to live with him..
Edward and William had decided to spen
the coming season in the woods, and, da
or two after the funeral, 1 walked down t
Searsport and shipped aboard whaler boun
to the North Pacific for three years cruise
/ had always felt desire to go to sea, and
now that our home was broken up, I had n
hesitation in shipping with Captain Benson.
I informed the family of what l had don'
and nobody made any objection, althoug
mother bewailed the possibility of my neve
coming back from such a long and danger
GUS voyage.
Dolph alone made no comment, whicl
rather nettled me, for he had been m
only confdant in the matter.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-06-14

DOLPHUS! The name was enough
to disgust us. We came of PLAIN,
hard-headed family. who thought
more Of muscle and physical courage
The La Jara chronicle., 1908-11-20
Unit Rule for Tree Growth.

An inch in four years is the
swiftest growth known in the race
of trees. Farmers and fruit growers
are said to have no reliable unit
rule to govern them in knowing
how long it takes for tree to grow
an inch, but some carriage makers
have found out
They asked about forty of the
country's prominent vehicle and
wheel manufacturers drawing their
stock from territory where hickory,
white oak, ash and tulip trees grow.
Their general conclusion was that
it takes from four to five years for
"A tree to increase one inch in di-
ameter Hickory trees varied from
4SI years to > 5.S3, according to their
location east or west of the Allie
ghanies. Oak required 4.6S years
for the inch, ash 49l, and poplar
1 years.
The La Jara chronicle., 1908-11-20
Taft Leads in State
Outside of Denver.

The official canvas of the 81
counties in the state outside of
Denver has been completed and it
shows that Taft came to Denver
with a plurality of III. Unless
radical changes are made in the
Denver vote by the official canvas
however, the entire Democratic
ticket is elected, from the presi-
Dental electors to the university
regents and including the three
congressman.
In many instances the vote will
be extremely close and with but
one or two exceptions the Repub-
lican candidates came to Denver
with a plurality but factional diff
ferences caused a Democratic land
slide in Denver county which
more than offset the lead
Shafroth ran far ahead of his
ticket. coming to Denver with a
plurality of 1864 Guerin, the
Salida engineer, candidate for rail-
road commissioner on the Repub-
lican ticket made the strongest
race of any man in his party com
ing to Denver with a plurality OF
2,O23.
The important thing the official
count reveals is that the majority
of the Democratic candidates were
only elected by the Denver land
slide.
The La Jara chronicle., 1908-11-20
From Growing Grain
to Buttered Biscuit.

Biscuits made within % minutes
after the wheat was reaped is the
remarkable record recently made
at Waistburg, Washington The
grain was cut on the hillside farm
of N. b. Atkinson, president of the
State Farmers Educational and
Cooperative Union, and the test
was witnessed by Mayor Breeze
and about 80 residents of the
Preston Parton plant The bis
The La Jara chronicle., 1908-11-20

cults were made in a gasoline oven
by a master baker.
The various stages of the opera
ton and the time were:
9:03-Ripe wheat standing in
the field.
9:O4-First head clipped from
the straw by the heading machine.
9:0S- Grain started into the cy-
Under of the threshing machine.
9:l1-Four sacks threshed, sack
ed. sewed and loaded in automobile.
9:l4-Grain received at mill. two
miles from field, weighed and
dropped into the receiving hopper
four sacks weighed 535 pounds.
9:19-F First -four appeared at
packer, having travelled $40 feet in
the machinery. A. Beck, baker,
began mixing -four, baking powder
and water into dough.
Moulded dough in pans
placed in oven.
9:23-Two sacks of flour ground,
sacked and sewed, ready for market.
9:26 Biscuits taken from the
oven, buttered and distributed
among fifty witnesses.
The La Jara chronicle., 1908-11-20

Prof. w. H. Jones. principal of
the Sanford schools, was visitor
here Thursday evening
Miss May Middleton, who has
been visiting in the east for
number of months, is expected
home tomorrow or next day.
Leroy Wilson has so far recov-
cred from his recent illness that he
is able to be up and around the
house but has not yet ventured
down to the store
Some one threw lot of stones
at the school house in Sanford
the other evening, breaking the
windows and causing ten or fifteen
dollars worth of damage.
Mrs. l.. d. Eskridge leaves next
Tuesday for Denver where Mr..
Eskridge has lately purchased a
handsome residence and where
they will in the future spend their
winters.
Bremen Hatfield while protect
ing the purity of the creamery
came into forceable contact with
Shorty Mason the first of the
week. They do say Bremer's
head is size larger than normal
and Shorty learned thing or two.
The members of the "Side
Tracked company, which appears
here tonight, eight in number
arrived this morning with half
car load of special scenery, They
have every appearance of being a
first-class attraction, If the attend
ance tonight warrants they will
tomorrow night present "Hooligan
in New York"
The La Jara chronicle., 1908-11-20
WANTED Success Ma,
Pastor

WANTED-Success Magazine
requires the services of man in
La Jara or vicinity to look after
expiring subscriptions and to Sc
cure new business by means of
specialmethods unusually effective
position permanent; prefer one
with experience, but would consider
any applicant with good natural
qualifications: salary 81 80 per day,
with commission option. Address,
with references, h. G. Peacock,
room 102, Success Magazine Bldg,
New York.
The La Jara chronicle., 1908-11-20
FARM LOANS.

100000 or any part of it to loan
on Irrigated Lands in Conejos
county, five and ten years time.
This is No Dream but the Real
Thing. bring in your abstract and
We will make you think you are a
Missourian. See us for rates and
terms. THoS. MCCUNNIFF q SoN.
The La Jara chronicle., 1908-11-20
ADVERTISING RATES
DI.nIaY AdyrrtIsrmrnts will he 81

Display Advertise ments will be charged
for at tn. rate of l2is cents per inch per week,
single column measurement, on monthly con
tract. and 25 cents per single column inch for
periods of less than one month Rates given
on more than column of space by the year
Displa advertisements will be changed every
two weeks VII hOut extra charge; when chauges
made weekly an additional charge of 3
cents per inch will be'made
Changes for dis lay advertisem ents must he
In this office before Wednesday noon to insure
a change that week.
Local Notices, 10 cents per line for each
Insertion
The La Jara chronicle., 1908-11-20
Church Announcement

There will be Catholic services
at the San Luis church, La Jara,
on Sunday. Nov %. Holy com
munion at IA m, mass and ser
mon at 10 a. m, and Sunday school
at 2:30 p. IN.
Rev. A Brucker. 5. j.,
Pastor.