davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
SOME MENTAL ARITHMETIC.

James goes to the grocery after q
quart of molasses. On his way home
he meets seven poor but worthy boys
about his own age and in the goodness
of his heart permits each one of them
to absorb a gill of the sweet stuff. How
much remained in the jug when he
reached home and how long did 1t take
his mother to hustle him into the wood
shed? -
If one puppy dog can shake half a
pint of sawdust out of one little girls
doll, how many puppies and little girls
dolls will 1t take to shake out enough
sawdust to fill a barrel? ryv
A husband has an overcoat for which
he paid SIS, but has worn it one winter
and got a wrinkle in the back, His
wife trades it off for a 81 rug with an
ink stain in the centre. Does she make
or lose, and how much?
How many peck peach baskets. each
holding six quarts, will be required TO
hold seven bushels Of peaches, each
bushel of which Is short four quarts?
Ask the nearest grocer to give you the
exact figures, and don't believe him
when he says the peach crop is a fiat
failure.
A citizen whose gas bill for a certain
month was Sc shut up his house for the
next month and got twelve witnesses to
prove that not a burner vas lighted FOR
thirty-one days. His bill for that month
was $3.50. Did he make or lose? IL
twelve witnesses cannot beat a gas
meter, how much will five quarts OF
kerosene cost at 13 cents a quart?
A husband spends in one day 10
cents for beer, 10 cents for chewing to-
bacco, 20 cents for cigars, 15 cents for
street car fare and loses $3.50 at poker
He then ascertains that his wife has
paid 8 cents for a b~uttonhook, and lis'
sits down and figures that her extrava&
gance will bring him to the p~oorhouse'
in just three years What is tho
amount of his capital?
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
Corrupt as Tweed, SaysRabh
WISE; He Ignorant, Retort of Croker
HoW Richard Croker Re-
piled to Rabbi Wise's
Hftriolfc Attack.

ffY DON'T care to get into a con-
troversy with such a narrow
man as Rabbi WISE said
Richard Croker. He's a narrow
minded old mar who b~egrudges
me the welcome of my old friends
Croker declared that the rabbi either
was utterly ignorant of the political
history of the city or had wilfully mis-
stated facts in coupling his name un-
favorably with that of Tweed.
HE calls me the successor of
Tweed" said Croker. well I did sue
coed Tweed. Someone had to. Tweed
was driven out of power with my help.
SO | succeeded him. I never stood for
Tweed. I was against him and | was
glad to be able to help beat him.
Wise has a motive, of course. He
is permitting himself to be used rs a
political buffer to the Republican cam
paign of 1909. / am sorry that in his
attempt to be sensational he has seen
fit to try to deprive me of the gratifica-
ton of meeting old friends. 3
Il see, by the way, that he had moth
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
BoNoPs ABROAD AND AT HOME.

Verify a prophet is notw without honor save in hso W country. Here, for
xample is h late State senator from Essex county, Everett Colby. Beaten
for reelection in a county that gave Taft about twenty three thousand plurality,
he wanders IF to Hot Springs Va, is admitted to a private confab with the
Prestdent-el@t, and plays golf with him, an Yesterday he was ONT of the guests
of honor at a reception by the Cleveland ohio) Chamber CT Commerce and ad-
has been the singular feature of Senator Cobys public career that h received
a exceptional notice and favor abroad that he was denied at home, except in
quarters devoted 10 his interests. In the late election he press outside of the
for the second time though under tow by the great personality of William H
Taft
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
SPOKE TOO SOON,

MY dear" said the caller, Il was
over to see Mrs. Gabbit yesterday
afternoon, and you just ought to have
heard what she said about you. Why.
she talked about you all the time l
was there.
Mrs. Gabbiss" exclaimed the hostess
warmly. We'll, all I've got to say IS
that nobody believes a word she says.
That woman couldn't speak the truth
if she tried. Everything she says is
pure invention. L won't give it a
worse name, but I have my own opin-
ion"
TIN ~dreadfully sorry to hear It.
She talked all the time about you and
said she thought you were the incest
woman in this town and a lot more of
the same nature"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
NOT WORRYING ABOUT THE MONEY

An old negro man walked into 3
store on election day and asked for y
landslide for a turning plow. II
He was given what he wanted. The
old man took out some small change,
but not enough to pay the bill, and,
handing the money over, said:
Boss, I'll jes' gin yer dis an let the
trick stay here for awhile till / kin go
out and git up the yutler money"
Can you get the money in town."
"Oh, yes, subj"
Does anybody here owe you any
thing?"
mo, sub, not a blessed cent"
''You are going to borrow the money,
then, are you?"
mo, sub. l don't borry nuthin'.' -
How do o expect to get the
money, them" =
"Oh. I isn't voted yit." s-
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03

these men had the foresight to gather
for their private interests, let the Eth
cal Social League and all forces of this
community unite without delay to save
the city.
1.-THE condemnation of New York
must be visited, not upon him whose
record is a part of our municipal his
tory, but upon those trustees of the
city's honor who violated their trust
by unitedly doing honor to him whose
name must ever be a byword for civic
wrong and civic shame.
Under the penal code limitations are
operative. which circumstance guaran-
tees the safety of the honored guest of
the Monday banquet, but the moral
code knows no limitations" .
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
GUARDING HIS DIGNITY.

As a large ocean-going steamer was
making her way down the Clyde the
officer in charge found his passage
blocked by a dirty looking, empty bal
last barge, the only occupant of which
was a man sitting smoking a short
pipe. Finding that he did no make
any effort to get out of the way, the Of
iicer shouted to him in true nautical
fashion. Taking the pipe from his
mouth. the fellow rose and said;
An is it yerself that's the captain
OF that ship?"
NO" was the reply, but I am the
chief officer"
''Then talk to your equals" said the
Irishman. Il am the captain of this"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
What Rabbi Stephen S.
Wise, of Mew York,
Said of Richard Croker.

KIT WAS to the shame OF New
York and to us, who are citi-
ems of no mean city," said
Rabbi Stephen S. Wise after the ban
quet given to Richard Croker, that
what happened did happen at the
dinner rendered to Mr.. Croker.
Such an affair could not be
called a private function. This
testimonial to Mr.. Croker was a hu-
initiation to such citizens as have not
forgotten or are not likely to forget
the guest of the evening was the
second of a triumvirate, the first of
whom was the boodling Tweed, and the
third of whom is the un~speakable Muir
ply.
Between the two came Croker, more
deft and cunning than his successor,
but not less hungry nor interruptions
than his predecessor.
lone feels pity for these justices OF
the Supreme Court who were present
at the gathering, summoned to do honor
to the former chieftain of Tammany.
l am sorry for Mr.. Jerome. l think he
had not the courage to stay away.
But the citizenship of New York
should resolve to do honor to no man
who lent himself to a plan to do honor,
to the one-time betrayer and despoiler
of the city, lately returned to these
shores.
Let the list of guests be published,
that we may know who these ever be-
nignant reverers of Mr.. Croker are. We
are not singing Mr.. Croker out for his
obloquy. So long as he had the grace
to shut himself up from further scrutiny
by remaining upon his Irish estates, we
could afford to forget him.
1.-The Croker gathering was a pro-
logue to Tammany's attempt to faster
her clutch upon the life of our city. If
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
HER SHARE IN IT.

Helen-Yes, the new play is quite
successful. BY the way. my friend
Miss Padden made considerable money
out of it.
Grace-Oh. did she write it?
Helen-Write 1t? oh, no; she's the
modesto who made all the gowns for
the leading lady.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
TWO CENTS POSTAGE TO GERMANY.

There is a large oversee correspondence between this country and Germany
n the reduction to W cents on letters sent direc between h W countries,
to e into effect on New Years Day. wills crafty man, thousands of III popu-
laion and their relatives an friends in Germany. Only letters that are carried
b. steamer drectb between h United States n Germany will be subject to
III new postage rate those gons by way OF England and France paying he
present rate of five cents VI German-speaking readers should make note of
Tho allowance
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
AFTER THE FEAST.

The turkey seems quite ample when
You pay for it in cash,
But still you'd never guess II would
String out so long in hash.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
yAwNING EVERYWHERE.

The reason why our cash Is shy
And bank accounts are thin
There are too many slots around
To drop a nickel in.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03

PROTOCOL and algae have been killed
by copper sulphate will be hailed with.
some regret. Many Newarkers had
adopted a few ~denobryon and algae as
household pets. The cunning things
have been taught to feed out of their
mistresses' hands and their antics have
been real amusing. But they had to 30.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
A SAD

The announcement by Engineer
Sherrerd that all of the denobryon,
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
EVOLUTIONS.
CUTE WILLIE.

Willie grabbed a Ratchet,
Threw it at his dad;
Mother cried out joyously,
"Ain't he the striking lad?"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
THE coNs7RUcTio OF The LEGISLATIVE COMMITTEES.

How the legislative committees will be constructed by III ley presiding
ofHcerso of the Senate n Hous is 10Y a matterf for conjecture Certain cor
mitee charmanships are eagerly sought. In thu Senate this year Senator
Alderman ws chairman Of TIN important committees N corporations, finance
and riparian rights, Senator wakeee on railroads and canals and fish and.
game, Senator Mmch OF municipal corporations Senator Robbins OF Judiciary
Senator Bradley or appropriations m elections nj Senator Frennghuysen on
banks M insurance. These men served also as second on several important
committees. In the House Mr. Martin headed the judiciary committee. Other
Important charmanships were held by Buck or corporations; Moxon, municipal
corporations; Gibbs railroads an canals; Young, banking and insurance; Col
rate, gam an fisheries; stne, riparian rights; smaney. appropriations; Martin
special committee on rules There will probably be 10 great change in the
sena Committees nut he Hous is likely to witness a shftnga round il its
committee hairmanships.
The blue nose intoerant III expressed heir ispleasme at the liberals enti
Of President Roosevelt respecting the religious views of candidates for
the presidency will be shocked to rad that the President attended mass in
Washington yesterday on the occasion of the celebration of he sxdeth ami
verssry of the coronation of Emperor Francis Joseph of Austria What" they
lust ask. lis this here republic coming to, anyhow
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
TALKING ALL THE TIME.

II love to arguc."
try"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
FAREWELL.

Lives of algae all remind VI
We can make our lives a pest
And departing leave behind us
Feelings of relief and rest.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
THE TRAGEDY OF M

Everybody's still,
Everybody's solemn, 4
Papa's got to fill
The daily comic column
Mother doesn't dare =
To ask him for money, -.
Silence everywhere,
Papa's being funny!
Sister cannot sing
To amuse the folks,
Peace DER everything,
Papa's making jokes!
Anxious, quiet, sad,
All around we sit, ~
Isn't it too bad
Papa is a wit?
New York Sun.
Everybody smiles.
Each a laughter-maker,
Papa's got a job
As city undertaken.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-12-03
N0W's THE TIME.

When the mercury drops to zero
The poet begins to sing.
Not of the blustry weather
But of the beauteous spring.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

q hAu' Sah ieili tLiaN amy uAS
tant relation made himsilf unpopular

with US by dyin'. Even If I wasn't let
go to a fun'ral there was something
exciting about it. 1t stirred up tn
neighborhOod. There was something
to talk about. Ivrybody asked: Did
he leave annythingT as if tn poor
man was a burglar or a fire. People
got out their good clothes an busted
of their high hats. On tn day iv tn
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15
Sold h. oil doaro-r IN ,
Foster-Milburn Co. Buffalo N Y

lSlT POSSIBLE?
| |, i i: ! A1D
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

LSEsseN.tS.isa-

%Afs$
POTATO scAB.
Some Suggestions for the Treatment
of the Disease.
The true potato scab is a skin dis
ease, and develops from a germ. A
picture Of scabby seed is shown. There
will be no scab on the crop unless
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

s4t.l-- t,ee.l. li..ll,.pll,'
asylum to the interested visitor, and
opened the door Of the first cell.
Inside was a man sitting on a three
legged stool, gazing vacantly at the
wall.
His Is an unhappy story" said the
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

settled that sulphur acts TO destrO
the germs. Some potato growers i
places where scab is bad put sulphu
in the hill or drill. When potat
planters are used the sulphur is mike
in the hopper and dropped with tn
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

Growth.
Roots and leaves are the life or
gans Of trees. A large part of the
roots, however, only serve as con-
ductors of water and food material
The young fibrous roots that are COW
cred by fine hairs, are the only ones
which take water and minerals from
the soil. The trunk and branches
simply serve as conductors of food
material between the leaves and roots.
If the fibrous roots are cut off or ex-
posed so that they dry out, the tree
will, in all probability, die.
Some trees, like locusts, willows,
poplars, etc, have the power of re-
newing their roots readily. Such
trees always transplant easily. There
fore, the first care in TRANSFORMING
trees is to keep the fibrous roots from
drying out, and to protect them from
injury during the time which tran
spires before the tree is planted
again.
In growing, trees build up a body
of cell tissues, make foliage, flowers
and fruit.
They take up food material from
the soil and air, changing it into eel
lulOSa and variouc orbar oop,nor,5.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

ACCORDING % f7oH''5r1ss:
a'Whin / was little boy, l classed
fun'rals among tn greatest " me al
ventures. They give me ride IN
hack through parts iv town that 20
pfver seen befure an out into IN.
co,n-brv where / niver Wit except
: ;,-i+a5 70 :. s---n. an | had
- --,C%f1y an something to eat
sGs2Tnneefent firm what / got at home.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

Ef2ZII5n SIIuI P pam III IHt
kidneys and a bear
@U ing down sensation
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

IcE1EC@%1
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

ieanes, 32S E. Front
~, says: Seven years
ago l began to notice
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

e4 ~ n
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

f&
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

lF @A |
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

try Doan's Kidney Pills. One box helped
me so much that l kept on until en-
1 tirelv cured
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

Women.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

Limbs Below the Knees Were Raw
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-08-15

Who is this?" inquired the visitor
"This?" repeated the attendant
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-04-18
I onn (Breranan's
Easter


III Finn as he watched two of
W. the prettiest girls in the
ward sail by the engine house
nd give Tom Brennan. the handsom-
est fireman Of hook and ladder COM
pany No. -, perfect fusillade of eve
alteration
"To the divil wild Tom" said Dooley
Bryan. Struggling his brawny shout
ders in downright disgust He don't
be human. What ails him Oh dunno
all the gurrils in the parish crazy over
his black eyes an he not noticin' Thin
WAS he always 500" inquired Larry.
He was" returned Dooley, liver
since Maggie Harrigan tux the veil"
"Oho" said Larry.
"They were engaged" said Dooley,
enraptured with himself as a gossip,
when Maggie got the vocation. 1t was
near KILN Tom. but av course he could
do nothin'."
"de couldn'tY' said Larry. "Why
didn't he carry her OFF,
Murder. We divil, phwat We be sayin'?
IT'S the bride of heaven she is. It's
ashamed av you Oh am, We haste. No;
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-04-18
Easter Weather ore

According to an old English proverb
a wet Easter is not favorable to the
consequent crop Of hay:
A good deal Of rain on Easter day
Gives a crop Of good grass but little good
hay.
If the sun shines on Easter morning.
1T will, according to the same author
ity, shine again on Whit Sunday. A
Sussex piece Of weather lore goes fur
Their, declaring that if the sun shines
on Easter day it will shine little ev-
cry day all the year round. while there
is a corresponding notion that If it
rains then it will rain a little, If only
a few drops. every day during the en-
suing year-New York Herald.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-04-18
An Indian Passion PLAY.

A remarkable Easter celebration is
the Passion plays Of the Indians of
the Schelt tribe Oh the banks of the
Fraser river, Skwa, Vancouver Its
motive is that of sincere desire to in
struct the Indians in the grand lessons
Of the death Of Jesus. Father Chi
rouse, a French missionary, adopted
the plan as the best to reach minds
that could not comprehend the full sig
niicance Of the spoken word.
Its first representation in 1899 re-
suited in hundreds Of conversions 1t
has been continued since, with the re-
suit that Indians of other tribes come
from great distance to see the spec
tacle and in many cases go away be-
levers.
Father Chirouse insists on the most
reverent presentation. Three hundred
Indians take part in the twelve tab
leaus. First comes the garden of Geth.
semane. next is the betrayal, and then
in order follow Christ before Plate,
the mocking Of Christ by the Roman
soldiers, the famous .'Ecce Homo" and
all the other incidents until finally the
climax Is reached in the crucifixion.-
Brooklyn Eagle.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-04-18
A FALLIBlE CALENDAR.
How q GourdfuI of Stones Postponed
Priests Easter,

ttO" SoNT0Iui OF StOneS FOStpOneC
Priests Easter.
In the Greek church every priest Is
called pope. This title comes from
the old Greek 'papas" father). a term
which in the Latin church came to be
applied only to bishops and finally to
the bishop of Rome alone. The peas
ants Of Bulgaria are mainly Of the
Greek faith. and the village pope is to
them what NJ. lie Cure is to the devout
peasants Of France. Consequently he
figures In many Of the Bulgarian folk
lore stories and is sometimes even made
the object Of a good natured joke The
story Of how pope lost his Easter is
repeated every Lent
There was pope once upon a time
who was unable to read and therefore
did not know when Easter was to be.
Knowing that his people expected him
to know 1t, he was greatly disturbed
by the fact and cOnfided his trouble to
a friend at is easy enough" said that
man to the pope. Get you u dry
gOurd, put as many pebbles in it as
there are fast days in Lent. and when
people begin to fast sou begin throw
ing pebbles, one little stone each day.
When the last one is gone the next day
would be Easter sure. And, judging
from the ciamor the pebbles make
when you shake the gourd. you can also
tell the people whether Easter day is
far or near" added his adviser.
The pope thought the idea excellent
and adopted it Immediately. He got
him fine gOurd, counted fifty-five peb-
bles in it, and as the people began to
fast he commenced to throw out a peb-
bic every morning as he washed his
face. Whatever he did wherever he
went. he carried the gourd along with
him. But one evil day the pope fell
asleep. and some mischievous man who
had discovered the secret of the gourd
put in it as many more pebbles as it
could possibly contain. The pope, new
er suspecting anything amiss, went on
with his pebble throwing business as
before. Finally the great day came,
as some one had read in book, and
the people and all the children, dressed
in their new clothes, started merrily to
go to church. when, to everybody's
amazement. they met their own pastor
driving a plOw and a yoke of oxen
afield.
Father Pope" exclaimed they. do
you mean to pillow on Easter day"
Easter day" quoth be while shak-
ing vigorously his gourd. Listen to
the clatter of this accursed squash and
then tell me if there be any hope for
Easter either during this year or the
next"-Chicago Tribune
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-04-18

him with her old sweet smile. the smile
he had loved.
He held out his arms.
1.-THE child first. Tom" she said as
she laid the little boy on the broad
breast of the fireman.
A migi'ty shout went up from the
crowd below. All had seen that sub
lime act. All realized what it meant.
A dozen hands received the child.
and Tom Brennan turned back up the
ladder.
He lifted Sister Mary Beatrice from
the window.
For one instant he held her on his
heart.
Then as the frenzied spectators
groaned and cursed and prayed the
convent walls swayed in.
And ut the foot Of the cross Tom
Brennan died for his Maggie darlin'."
Edith Sessions Upper in New York
Herald.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-04-18
Easter Used to Last Eight Days.

In the ancient church the celebration
of Easter lasted eight days, but after
the eleventh century the time was linn
tied to three days. and soon again re-
duced to two days. 1t was formerly
the favorite time for performing the
rite of baptism. The courts of justice
were closed. and aims distributed to
the poor and needy. who were even
Toasted in the churches. Slaves were
set free. and as the fasting Of Lent
was over the people gave themselves
up to every enjoyment
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-04-18

When you are In Ocala me-
Fishel's big store
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-04-18
IA OF POUND A WEEK

At least, is what young baby ought
not there's something wrong with its
digestion. Give it .McGee's Baby
Elixir and it will begin gaining at
once. Cures stomach and bowel trou-
bles, aids digestion, stops fretful-
ness, good for tecthing basies. sod
by Anti Monopoly Drug Company.
Prices Csc and soc.