davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

From July L~ipptncott'e.
Tho excursion train was crowded, and
the man in the center OF the car knew 1t
would be impossible to get out through
the jam to get something to eat without
losing his seat and perhaps missing the
train. He looked longtngly at the restau-
rant across the tracks, and, seeing an
;urchin sitting on the iron pipe near by, he
called him over. saying, Here. son. take
this quarter and run over to that res
taurant and get me a candwich. And get
yourself one" he called after the boy.
.You are easy said the excursionist
beside the man. you'll never see that
kid or your quarter again."
And as the train whistled at the mo-
ment he feared 1t would be true. Just
then, however, the boy came out of the
%estaurant with a large, fat sandwich in
his hand. The train was moving as he
handed up theachange and then, taking
a huge mouthful of the sandwich, he
called to the departing man with the hun
ger:
.sThey only had one left. Thanksl"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
All Depended.

The proposition in Kentucky to elect
Colonel Watterson United States SEN
ator reminds the editor of a story:
General Andrew Jackson's colored
body servant was asked, after Old
Hickory's death, whether he thought
mis- master had gone to heaven, and
promptly replied, Il amt so sho' bout
dat, sir"
why. wasn't the general a good
mar 2"
"Yessir,' he was a very good man"
We'll, then, if he was such a good
man. why hasn't he gone to heaven?n
.Tt all depends, san," the old darby
answered, ION whedder de general
wanted to go to heaven, or whedder he
didn't want to go thar. Eff he did, he's
thar. But eff he didn't, all hell couldn't
Ter make him go"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
Jumping a ! cenelaslsn.

W2u$taAES3FEEGSh& - ~
r the arniable way OF villagers, they
were discussingsthe matrimonial affaira
ola couple who. though recently wed.
had begun to md the yoke Of HymenI
q burden. #S
3 s all along d, these hasty mar
rfages." opined necaustic old gentle
man, who had been much to the fore III
the discussion. They did not nnder-
stand each other: they'd nobbut
knowed zach other for o matter q, sew
en- year"
well, that seems long enough said
an interested lady listener.
Long emo! Bah, ye're wrong! When
a body's coortin' he ann be too care
full. Why, my coortship lasted q mat
ter o. ntneteen@yearl
."You certainly were careful agreed
the lady listener. And did you find
your plan successful when o mar
ried?
"Ye Jump to c~onclusions!v said the
old man impatiently. II understood
her then 30 I didna marry herlYs
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
It Got" Him.
From Judge.

81 suppose, Uncle Jim, you remember
a good deal about the politics OF the
early days?"
teWell, l never TUX much int'rest in
pollytics, but I kin recollect when John
C. Fremont was 'lected president"
Fremont! Why Fremont vas never
elected"
He wun't? Well, now, tibet gifts me,
I herd a leadin' speaker talk the night
fore lection, an he said IL John G..
Fremont wun't 'lected the country
would fall to ruin an everybody would
have to shut UP shop. Course. I didn't
tax the papers; but. noticin' thet
things went Of bout same as before,
/ calclated John won. So he wun't
'lected? Well, b'jinks! THEFT GIFTS
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
ALMOST A

Gained 20 lbs. ON Grape-Nufs.
There's a wonderful difference be-
tween a food which merely tastes good
and II which builds up strength and
good healthy flesh.
It makes no difference how much we
eat unless we a digest it. 1t is not
really food to the system until it is
absorbed. A Yorkstate woman says:
Il had been n sufferer for ten years
with stomach and liver trouble, and
had got SO bad that the least bit Of
food such as | then knew, would give
me untold misery for hours after eat
Ing.
Il lost flesh until vas almost a
shadow OF my original self and my
friends were quite alarmed about me.
"Efrst ! dropped coffee and used
Postum, then began to use Grape-Nuts.
although / lad little faith it would do
me any good.
and have gained twenty pounds in
weight and | feel like another person
In every way. l feel as II life had
truly begun anew for me.
II can eat anything l Ike now In
moderation, suffer no i'll effects, be on
my feet from morning until night.
Whereas a year ago they had to send
me away from home for rest while 9th
ers cleaned house for me, his spring
l have been able to do it myself all
alone.
my breakfast is simply Grape-Nuts
with cream and a cup of Postum. with
sometimes al egg and a piece OF toast,
but generally only Grape-Nuts and
Postum. And I can work until noon
and not feel as tired as one hours
work would have made me a year ago"
There's q Reason"
Name given by Postum Co.. Battle
Greek. Mich. Read, The Road to Well
viue," In pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A
new one appears from time to time.
They arc genuine, true, and full of
human interest. 81
HHN
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
The Umpire.

The Umpire.
There was a guy. and he tried the game
Given as vol and -
At nmpirtng made a bid for fame.
Out in the field where he went clear lame.
All he knew of baseball was the name.
Even as you and IL
He ceuldn' t. tell a strike from a ball
Given as you and II
Most rotten decisions he would cali.
Causing fans to wonder at the gall
He showed in making his awful stall
(Even as you and u
All fans were after this Jump. SO hard
(Even as you and ID
10 throw him from the baseball yard,
mat ne got a gun and a bodyguard,
10 keep from being feathered and tarred
SBy such as you and IL
He kept 1T up at the shameful rate
SEven as you and -
III the angry mob let lose its hate
Ana there on the iamon he met his fate
For they couldn't stand his shameful gait
lEven as you and IL
Oh. the games not lost, nor the games not
won
BY the player who swings the club;
BY the boss in the field is the winning
Be he expert. four-aush or dub.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

ola fashionSd stpcka ar1 EUInfuiee An
AgatussgThe new styles wSreSs8enex9lly
vogue 10 1lmlt6d exterE1aAx18no uni
VERBALLY sought Ss;seS
GfrlSssRre IN AMSc0iOrA.ATMey Ar61tlll
worn u the arm coming doWntfa
aisle. u pretty eftect@in girls b seeti
az the seasfore where they are gatf,-
cred datntfly arOun d young man.
Although girls are going out all tho
time. enough pr In . keep Thanh
very popular.
Some Of the popular colors 5are a.
Follows. In legal circles, black and
white; * Saratoga, long green: IN
theatrical circles. red and pink: at the
mint. old gold. An EFFORT to intro
duce stripes Into railroad circles han
completely failed.
Quiet colors In Jokes prevail.
Motherslnlaw are scarcely ever seen,
even In barber shops. Insurance effects
have goneou Runnfng designs are
seen in vaudeville and circus rings.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
Pumping ia the Squeak.
From the New York Press.

Small automatic pumps. very ingen-
iously contrived, spirited air In be-
tween the layers OF the soles of each
finished pair OF shoes.
THAT beats me-" said the visitor. II
before. Pneumatic like that: are they
springy?"
mo, they're noisy" tho.
foreman OF the Lynn factory. These
shoes are for the export trade. They
go to Africa. A native African judges
the white mans shoes by their squeak.
The louder they squeak the finer the
article. In fact, the native won't wear
q non-squeaking, silent shoe. It is
wind between the soIes that makes
shoes squeak. Put IN enough and
pigs under a fence. We, by adding
this cheap wind to our product. in
creas Its value more than hand-sew-
Ing throughout would."
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
Had Lots 81 Huslnsss.

4. Jocelyn, OF Wichita, was court
3st~enographer for Judge Pancoast, ot
Oklahoma. TOR several years. One time
81 was being tried before Judge
Pancoast and they were endeavoring
to find out through a witness wheth-
ez there had been any liquor sold.
What Is your business Pr asked the
lawyer. MY business? 2" repeated the
witness laconically. sOh, I have lots OF
business Answer the question" said
the lawyer. What Is your business?'''
Must I tell all my b~usiness?' insisted
the witness again. Answer the Ques-
tion," interposad the judge severely.
"Well.s' responded he cheerfully, I'm
deputy sheriff ana caty marsha for
and bartender of the Ell Paso saloon
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

This sign is permanently attached
to the front of the main building of
the Lydia e. Pinkham Medicine
Company, Lynn, Mass.
What Does This Sign Mean?
It means that public inspection of
the Laboratory and methods Of doing
business is honestlydesired. Itmeans
that there is nothing about the bus
mess which is not "open and above
board"
1t means that a permanent invita-
ton is extended to anyone to come
and verify any and all statements
made in the advertisements of Lydia
d. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Is it a purely vegetable compound
made from roots and herbs 49, with
out drugs?
Como and See.
Dothe women ofAmerica continu-
ally use as much of it as we are told?
Come and See.
Was there ever such a person as
Lydia E. Pinkham, and is there any
Mrs. Pinkham now to whom sick
woman are asked to writer
Come and See.
Is the vast private correspondence
with sick women conducted by
women only, and are the letters kept
strictly confidential?
Come and See.
Have they really got letters from
over one million, one hundred
thousand women correspondents?
Come and See.
Have they proof that Lydia E.
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has
cured thousands Of these women?
Come and See.
This advertisement is only for
doubters. The great army of women
who know from their own personal
experience that no medicine in the
world equals Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound for female ills
will still go on using and being ben
gifted by it; but the poor doubling,
suffering woman must, for her own
sake,be taught on1dcnce,forshe also
might just as well regain her health.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
The Right Car.
From Judge.

A traction company in a Tennessee
town is still using the cars bought for
their line then it was constructed
some Is years ago. Naturally the
shaky old cars cause much disgust to
those who nav to ride in them.
A merchant of the town was particu-
larly vexed recently when the motor
mar ran his a half a block past him
before stopping. AS he ran to catch it
he yelled out:
Cant you even stop your blooming
old freight train on the corner Z"
That Is no freight train" replied
the conductor: Its a cattle car.
Aboard!"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
A spirituaIistio MesaIliance.

A spiritualist medium am to q
house and claimed to be able to locate
Yost friends. The residents had an old
aorse which they had sold years be-
bre and the old lady OF the house want
I'd to know where he was. She began
I'VE had q very good friend who
always did all our work. He passed
rom US several years ago and the last
We heard Of him was hat he was in
Los Angeles" The medium made a
few mysterious motions, knocked on the
liable and then said:
Your friend is In Los Angeles and is
marrieu to a rich young woman"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

d~isordered. l was completely worn out
and discouraged when I began using
Doan's Kidney Pills, but they went
right to the cause Of the trouble and
did their work well. l have been feel
ing well ever since"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

five months In a hos
pital / was discharg-
ed as %incurable, and
given only six months
to live. Ny a
was affected, I had
s%mothering spells and
sometimes fell uncon-
scious. l got so l
couldn't use my arms,
my eyesight was inn
paired and the kidney
eaprotinna uoro hoIlv
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
School for Animals.

You never heard of schools for an
imals3 Well. that shows your ignorance"
said the professor.
AT being found ignorant, SO soon after
commencement day, the girl graduate
blushed.
There is an elephants school in SIAM
said he. Young elephants are taught in
It to take up and carry In their trunks
great teakwood logs-no easy task, for
the logs require delicate valancing. They
are taught to kneel, to answer the various
strokes of the ankus, or goad, and like
saddle horses, they learn several gaits.
Pets schools abound the world over.
There are schools for white mice, for
monkeys, for song birds, not to mention
the famous JACOB Hope phonograph
school for teaching parrots to talk that
is the pride Of Philadelphia.
The big dealers an wild animals usual
~ run small schools where lions, tigers.
bears and leopards are taught simple
tricks. Such schools are very profitable.
Where an untamed lion. salable only to
ZOOS or menageries, fetches but $3.50 or
SO, a broke none will easily fetch DOUBLE
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
Utilizing His Knowledge.

The Bookman tells a story about an
office boy whose share OF the days
work Is confined largely to sorting ex-
changes. There was sudden need OF
information OF a medical nature, and
the boy was sent for and asked II n
medical periodical came In. At first
he shook his head Then after a mo-
ment's thought a light broke over his
face. YES" he said, there was one
medical publication. 1t was called the
Literary Digest"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

the feet, Cures Corns, Bunions, Swollen,
Sore, Hot, Cailous, Aching, Sweating feet
and Ingrowing Nails. Aliens Foot-Ease
makes new or tight shoes easy. Sold by all
Druggists and Shoe Stores, 25c. Sample
mailed FREE. Addres Alien s. 0lmsted,
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

Some men can never4get their names in
The papers unless they get married or
Seco1ne a pap
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

HOME CANNING-A recent invention en-
ables the housewife to preserve corn,
ployed III large canneries. The work ID
sirnpllfled and RESULTS GUARANTEED.
Purchasers enjoy the solid satisfaction2O1
eating their own prime goods. The "
ing on products canned In one day often
pays for outfit. Surplus crops proftabiy
converted into market staples. Meals for
table are cooked quicker and better than
by steam or fireless cookers. This ad Will
not appear again this season-it won't nes0
to. You know why. Write NOW for free
booklet. The Home Gamer Co., Law
renee, Kan.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

Charles Kaufman, q mail collector
in st. Louis. found q new gold watch
in a street mailbox, with q note at
tached asking that it be sold and the
money applied to charity, as the watch
had been stolen,
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
Cne-Armed Mans Swim.
Falls Special to Washington

WISH obVlII
Niagara Falls Special to Washington
Post.
George Powell, a one armed man. swan
the Devils Hole rapids OF the Lower
Niagara and landed safe at the bridge at
Lewiston, making the trip Of TWO and a
half miles in IS minutes.
Only two other men have lived through
the naelstrom. One was Carlisle Ora
ham and the other was J. W. Glover, of
Baltimore, who went through in 1906.
Powell wore nothing save a life pre-
server TO protect MIN. He entered the
water just at the fiat rock below the
whirlpool and padded himself to the mid
die OF the river.
When he struck the DEVILS Hole rapids
he disappeared under the waves. and once
for a full minute he was submerged.
Trolley cars followed along the bank. and
hundreds saw the game man battle his
way with the stormy rapids. Just before
he struck the PITT Rock al Lewiston he
caught in an offshore eddy and was
whirled about like a cork for twenty min
utes. The bufreting took most all his
strength, but he landed ready to make
the trip again, ard twice a week, he said.
with the proper inducements.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
She Supplied Them.

From the Catholic Standard and Times.
We'll" grumbled Mrs. Nagget, in
speeding h new house her husband
had taken, there are disagreeable fea-
lures about this place that you didn't
mention before"
They weren't here before" retorted
Nagget.
What features are you referring
tor"
Yours"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
WHIPPING POST AND STOCKS
Stood in the Raleigh Court House
Land Until End Of the Rebellion.
Raleigh Correspondents Charlotte OBJ

H9ta server. E-H-
Up until the end Of the war and a
little while after the whipping post and
stocks stood not far from the north
west orner Of the court house and be-
tween that building and the present
postofice, and there the last whipping
took place, though as it began it was
sought to be stopped by a federal Of
ficer. The sheriff was, however, simply
carrying out h mandate of the old
court of pleas and quarter sessions.
In those days the stocks and the
whipping post, too, were special attrac-
lions, notably to boys. The latter were
allowed to ridicule people who sat in
the stocks, which held their hands and
feet, but not to throw anything at
them.
OF course this deprived the boys Of
some degree of pleasure, yet they con-
trived to get a good deal of fun out Of
the thing nyway. 1t seems odd now
even to think Of such scenes as these
u have been. Figure to yourself
passing by the u house green at
Charlotte or Raleigh and seeing a
gentleman held by the ankles and
wrists by wooden bars, sitting there in
the sunshine for ell the world to look
at.
Those were the days OF the andin
iron, TOO. A SET of gives Of iron, in
use for holding the ankles or wrists.
are on exhibition here, but Of branding
irons there are none. These were used
here in January, 1866, for the last
time.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

NEW LAW obsainss
nENSrnNS By Ohm w. MoREls
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

And do you live in Chicago proper?r
we asked the self-satisfed Individual.
well. as nearly proper as it is possible
to live in Chicago"
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

American butter. Is the name given
in Syria to oleomargarine.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
High Finance.

aNrs. Wl1siow,s sooTzrss sxzut. rDr Childrse
AyE pain. cures wind e0li~. n cent abcttle.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

Have money and the world
VIII shake you by the hand;
Have none and the world
Wnl-shake you! Understand!
st. Louis RepuhiIc
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

Levi P. Brockway, S. Second Ave,
Anoka, Mimi, says: after lying for
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13

Have money ard the world
VIII rush up to greetqyou;
Have money and the world
VIII combine just to beat you.
The citizen-Republican. (Scotland, Bon Homme County, S.D.) 1???-19??, 1908-08-13
FIVE MONTHS IN HOSPITAL.

Because Doctors Could
Net Cure.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1908-10-07
NOTICE TO VOTERS

Notice is hereby given that the
registration hooks for Wenatchea
precinct, in my Office, will be closed
on October IA, and will remain
closed until a.t.i' the general cleo
ton, which viii be held on Novem-
her 3, 1905.
The books will be opened again OH
November 4, 1908.
B. PALMER,
Registration Ofiice,
Dated this Sd day Of Octo., 1893.
GOOD NEWS.
Many ygenafehee RendegB HAye
Hea90 Il an0 Eo0n11 xAoeog.
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1908-10-07

thousands of bad back sufferers IN
Wenatchee are glad to learn that
prompt Keller is within their reach
Many a lame, weak and aching back
is bad no more, thanks to Doan' $
Kidney Pills. People are telling
the good news of their experience
with the Old Quaker Remedy. Here
is an example worth reading:
reading:
Mrs. A. z. Downey, living at 402
North Water street, Ellensburg,
Wash, says: Il suffered from kid
ney complaint for several years and
[ was caused much misery on ac-
count of a lameness across my loihs-
was tired out all the time, seemed
to have no ambition and was anIey-
ed a great deal by the too FREQUENT
action of the kidney secretions. I
finally learned of Doan's Kidney
Fills, procured box and used them
recording to directions. They
proved to be just the remedy l re-
CURED, as the annoying pains in my
tack were relieved, the kidneys be
Gan to act in their regular manner,
and | felt better in every way. From
my experience with Doans Kidney
pills l feel that can conscientiouslg
commend them to others"
For sale by all dealers. Price. sc
cents. Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo
in. Y, sole agents for the United
States.
Remember the name-Doan's-
The Wenatchee daily world. [volume] (Wenatchee, Wash.) 1905-1971, 1908-10-07
A GOOD BARGAIN.

Carl Bauer watched the papers
would arrive. The sight of even the
name of the ship in type caused his
heart to beat harder, and strange
feeling, between pleasure and pain.
to come into it. For on the Kaiser
Wilhelm was Greta Wendolin, pretty,
ravishing, big eyde, flaxen-hairei
Greta, whom he had known in the
village in Germany, whom he had
loved in all the fulness of his big
heart and to whom he had not dared
tell his love because of timidity.
And now she was coming over to
marry Fritz Laustein. A wave Of
impotent fury swept over him as he
thought of it. Fritz owned deli
catessen store. He was many years
older than Greta. But when he had
written a few months before offering
to pay Greta's passage if she would
marry him the proposition was re-
ceived with JOY by the parents OF
Greta, who considered this a fine
match for one of their many daugh-
tiers.
The vessel was to arrive on Sunday
Carl arose that morning with heavy
heart. He dressed himself carefully
for ne was determined to go to the
dock. He could stand out of sight
and see Greta as she came down The
gangway. This at least could not ~
denied him.
Wien he arrived there the sight o
ike Cortly Laustein III all the blo:.
of his Sunday apparel caused him Il
amcst lose control of himself. T.
think that this fellow was to MARI.
Greta Greta, for whom he had acc,l
INFLATED that little hoard in the SAY
'nes nal k-oh, it wa. 'oc much t.
,elleve:
The ship steamed up the river OPP
posite the dock. Tugs took hold @
her and puffed and pushed and pulle
until she was alongside. Then cable
and donkey engines got busy and Fl
nally the big hulk doomed close a
hand. The passengers streamed out
Carl was surprised to see Laustei