The Delta independent., 1908-08-21
of it. must now go and dress for

of 1t. I must now go and dress for
the occasion"
When Mr.. Bowser was finally ready
to depart for Locust hall Mrs. Bowser
rearranged his necktie a bit and pulled
down his coattails and said:
M Bowser, 1 have got $1.75 thai
1 have saved up"
"Well, what Of it?'
"I'll-I'll give you the whole of it If
you won't make speech"
by the seven spotted bulls. Mrs.
Bowser, but do / find graft and brib- |
cry right here in my own house? How
dare you make me such an offer? You
try to bribe me not to make a speech. |
to let the country go to the dogs, to
permit the hydra head of corruption to
be reared in every hamlet of America.
"But 1 don't want you to make a |
failure, you know"
"A failure, / make a failure. Why, |
woman. have you suddenly lost the /
little brains you ever had? Failure.
/ shall come home borne on the shoul- |
ders of shouting, cheering Bowserites. |
and you had best SEND over for n hun |
dred candles to illuminate the house. |
\ dollar and seventy-fve cents as a |
bribe.''
Mr. Bowser reached Locust hall to |
find it lighted, but the expected thou |
sands had not gathered yet. In fact. |
only the janitor was present, and |
there was no look of anticipation on |
his face In fact, there was n look of |
disappointment instead. and after a /
couple of minutes he approached Mr.. |
Bowser and queried:
SAY. now. can't you put this thing |
amhgig off for the night?"
What do you mean, sir?' was asked. |
"Why. let it go until some other |
time. ] want to go to n scrapping |
match tonight. but if you are going to
make speech I've got to stay here"
Capital Depressing Labor.
Mr.. Bowser occupied five minutes in
telling his side of the story, and when
he got through the janitor felt that he
had been talked to in three different
languages. He went away and sat |
down. but he said it was another in
stance Of capital depressing labor and
his union should hear of it. Ten min
utes later a reporter arrived. He
looked around the hall and then at
Mr.. Bowser and said:
Going to be a fizzle. isn't itY'
"Um,"
"who is this Bowser anyway"
"Um,"
Hes probably some old fake, and
III not stay to hear him bleat."
Five minutes passed. and then lop !
shouldered, disreputable looking fellow
lounSed in and impudently queried:
-. faya
dango here tonightT'
What do you mean, siry demand
ed Mr.. Bowser.
"oh. an old speech or something by
somebody or otherT'
.Yes, sir: there is to be a speech
here
And where's the beerT'
There won't be any"
"Oh. sawdust speech. eh? Well.
I'm of. Let the old blowhard blow"
Then a second reporter entered and
took look around. The janitor wink
ell at him. and he returned the wink
and sat down and looked solemn for
five minutes. Then he approached Mr.
Bowser and respectfully asked:
Can You tell me the name OF the
party that is or was to crate here this
evening"
His name is Bowser, / believe"
well. his wife seems TO have kept
him at home and done a good thing
I'll Just say that the meeting was n
grand fizzle."
There was one more caller. He was
n man that had attended n dance In
the same hall week before and lost
n quarter out of hole in his pocket
He had come back TO look for 1t. Aft
er casting aspersions on the character
of the ianitor and telling Mr. Bowser
that he ought to be in the bosom OF
his family the meeting broke up.
Mr.. Bowser arose.
The janitor arose.
Mr.. Bowscr went downstairs.
The ianitor turned out the gas and
followed.
Mr.. Bowser went home. not borne
or the shoulders of shouting, cheering
men.
The jnnitor went to the scrapping
match.
And the kind and gentle Mrs. Bow
ser never said word-not word
NJ. QUAD.