davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

respekhy. 80
Yes, the conscientious young man or
science was considerably perturbed.realiy
perturb-ed-by the receipt of several dozen
of these missives-so much SO that he de-
cided to seek the ghostly counsel ana the
worldly advice Of his immediate scienlnc
chief in the matter.
The latter. when informed Of the state
of things. lay back in his chair and-oh,
well, jes LATED. Laughed long and louo.
Then, brutally enough. he related the
story unto the ears of the rest OF the
corps of scientists around the place. They.
likewise. hollered.
The name of the Virginia maiden Is
somewhat unusual-we'n say that 1t is
Clytemnestra Conkshell. Well. the staid.
sober scientists had only to whisper the
name of Clytemnestra within the hearing
Of the object Of Clytemnestra's alteration
to convert that young man OF worthy
scientific attachments into one enormous,
blazing blush.
They kept at him about Clytemnestra
for quite a while. until the novelty OF
the thing wore Off, and then. gradually,
they let up on him.
One afternoon last week queer figure
of a person wandered into the dim, dark
some entrance corridor of the scientific
bureau heretofore alluded to.
He was something short of seven feet
in height, rawboned as the fossil of a
diplodocus, and az angular as a grape
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

Nelson Cromwell his contribution of
$4,000 to the republican national COM
mittee's campaign fund-of which all but
$4,000 was returned with chillsome
thanks-and the prospect of his selection
as a member of the Taft cabinet. have
served to revive the good story they used
to tell on Mark Hanna some years ago:
1t seems that at the time in question
managed to get Mr.. Cromwell's place in
the general scheme of human existence
fixed in his mind and his inability to get
a line on real smooth citizen kept him
somewhat peevish and irritated.
One day at the White House. while
talking with Mr.. Hanna and some other
folks. the President, speaking of NT.
Cromwell remarked: II can't quite figure
out what is his relation to Cosmos;
Senator Hanna looked surprised and
scratched his head.
II know Cromwell pretty well. Mr.
President" said he. but i don't know
that I ever heard he had any relative of
that name. What Is his line?"
They do say as how this is really true.
*
CHIEF CLERK CLIFTON of the De-
~ partment of Agriculture.
Shout it forth, We heralds! Blare IL
loud, oh trumpets! Cringe. slaves; bow
low, stenogs! Rattle. typewriters! Scat
ter roses. We damosels! Look busy, We
dogs, for the Chief Clerk is about to en-
ter his Office, looking as fresh as noun
tain dew and rejoicing as giant to run
his course.
Ha. Ha!
And does he hurry to his desk this
morning? Does he chortle and gloat when
he sees the piles and piles Of work upon
the top of the oak desk? Does he shuck
his coat with a wriggle born of long prac-
tice?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

vine fence. He was diked out in too
small suit of obviously new sto' clothes,
with his pants Eyes, Lindley. they were
pants. not trousers) very, very hlgn"ater-
ish. and he shambled along as If the PROB
lem of what to do with his hands and
feet was worrying him along toward al
early grave.
Ali the same he looked as If he'd easily
be able to hold his own, and a httie
more. in q hand-to-hand encounter with
a brown cinnamon bear Of the Sierras
One Of the young scientists. seeing MIN
lowering uncertainty around. took the
strange figure iii hand and inquired ms
business. for the man didn't appear TO De
visiting the bureau solely for the purpose
of looking at the dull exhibits
The giant with great dimdence, ooserv-
ed that heal was from the aboVe-men-
toned island lying off the coast or VIZ
ginia. He added that he was looking Tor
the Young scientist who had been on that
island a number Of months before. hav,
ing. he said. collected number or desired
specimens for him.
The cut-up of a man of science who had
the giant in hand conceived think Tor
himself. ,,,,,,
Every WELL" he said. pleasantly. TIL
take you to him. BY the way, do you
Conkshell down on your island?'
'Ah sho' does. suh," was the giant s
reply.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

that you're so crazy over. and what youu
do to that layout when you see 1t will be a
heap. But you're busy. l see. Wel III
put your steak and onions away on a
plate in the oven.
Then Jim called the kids again from
the lotion of the stairs and hey came
a-tumbling down. and Jim went down 10
the basement with them, the smell of the
onions still coming up the open hatch
from the galley, SO to speak, and getting
in it's penetrative work.
LAS a matter of course. the at-homers
arose and blew, so to speak; drilled ana
vamped and beat 1t. some of them re-
marking hastily that they really couldn't
think of delaying domestic arrangements.
and SO on.
well, Jim, he stood his ground when
his wife got below to the basement, In
her S49S apple-green silk waist, with
blood in her eye. She took 1t out for the
rest of the evening with weeps In her
room, but she's already made the an
nouncement that she won't be at home
next Wednesday. She sees things. now.
from Jim's point of view. and peace
broods over Jm's camp.
"Jim was pretty lucky to get her 10
see it, at that, wasn't hep
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

or anything like that. The most THAT
we expect is that
Well. anyhow. the male person here ad-
verted to had fallen from the acqua
vehicle with laundering thud.
That is to say, on the previous night
he had departed from a protracted period
of abstemiousness with considerable
audiences.
1t therefore is only natural to suppose
that when he started downtown to his
office on the following morning dc was
filled with misgivings, whatever those
same may be.
Because, please observe. there were
some incidents in connection with his
course, latitude and longitude on the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

all the pelts matched, you know. Like
to try 1t on?'
Fortunately a bunch of fire engines rat
tied by outside just then and ] pretended
that 1 wanted to 60 out AID see where
the fire was.
However, don't worry. They're show
ing "fur'lined overcoats down town
with the big collars and cuffs and all for
$149S and such figures. Heaven knows
from what animals they ge, the pelts to
stick into these garments. but II looks.
yes, and 1t certainly smells, like fur or
some kind. writer not long ago was
polecats from the American scheme Of
things Can this be the answer?
= X
DY the way. have you noticed the new
p twist In the matter of murders over
here?
refer to the plan whereby the hus-
bands of eXtravagant or over-gay wives
now get over the difficulty. The New
York husband of the wife who likes
dress and automobiles and giddy dinners
at the lobster palaces and so on and who
is unable TO provide these necessaries Of
life out of his own income, no longer
reasons or argues with her. He doesn't
tell her to call halt and to endeavor to
live within his pay. He doesn't point out
wherein she Is going at too speedy a clip
and jeopardizing the relationship existing
between them. He doesn't remind her
that 1t is up to her to pay more attention
to the home and to develop less regard
for the artificialities of life
Nope. Not any more. He kills her.
During the past month no less than siY
men. some Of them quite well known
around here, have killed their wives and
themselves afterward all leaving notes -
the effect chat their wives were extravo.
CANT and too fond of pleasure and leav.
ing the inference wide ooen that there.
fore the wives had to be killed Curioua
isn't il. the lack of sense of hurnor -
the part Of New York husbands?
CLARENCE L. CULLHl
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

playing joke upon the male sex. Worse
enough that male persons should have to
copy the model az abjectly as the young
'un at school has to copy the motto at
the top OF the copy book.
Not so should 1t be for the women.
Thus this reproof and severe Gliding.
We desire it arranged differently. We
should like to see the women bedike them
selves more assortedly. AS it is now. one
can't tell 'em apart. hardly. and this
makes for confusion and things If they
must wear clothes and hats and shoes
and the rest Of the gear just exactly
numbers on their sleeves. so that we
could sort 'em over and differentiate 'em.
0H. yes. and about the sizes Of women.
~ knew there was something else on
the woman topic that had myself sched-
uled to write about this week.
I was talking with a booking man for
many theatrical outfits the other after
noon and he said this: That the day of
big and buxom and even tall and sinuous
women is all over. Just like that. All
over, Said that they simply were not
wanted any more. you know. on the stage
(He more than implied. the reprobate
that they weren't even wanted anywhere
else but I'm not setting down any mans
implications) Said that women above the
cute and cunnin' sizes couldn't even fig
ure in the background from now on; that
they were a dead and gone fad and prop
osition-really. 1t was awful to listen to
the man. The writer hereof Is perfectly
familiar with the fact that there are
oodles of women entirely above the cute
and cunnin' sizes. and he assuredly won
dered while listening to this man. what
in the wide world is going to become Of
the women even Of average size. They
can't be chloroformed can they? They
can't be required to jump of the various
handy docks? They must 60 on living.
presumably? Well, then! Honestly. It
was baffiing and terrible to listen to this
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

annum class, figures himself and his FAM
lily on just that basis. If he got $4,000
year, maybe, as he admits himself. he'd
be there with some Tugs. But he's just a
81, 400 man. and therefore there are lot
of things that his wife sees that he can't
see.
He can't perceive. for example. just
where he and his'n break into the pink
tea outfit. / mean to say that he isn't
possessed of sufficient near-social aspira-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

IN Ii0ill uoSii
a mere male per-
son to write about
the raiment OF
women? No right
whatever. There
fore, we'll write q
few acrid, fault
finding lines on
that topic.
We shall become
uuerulous with ref
erence, particular
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

If you do not I can't answer for the
consequences-fatty degeneration and all
that sort of thing. you know"
Mr. Early sighed and sighed again and
tried to appear resigned.
"AN right, Doc" said he, eff ! must
/ must. But it's hard. it's blamed hard
indeed! However, 1 promise. But, Doc.
on the level. amt eating the king of in
door sports?"
REPRESENTATIVE CHARLIE Nc
N GAVIN. who can do more work with
his one arm than most people can with
two. and whose vocabulary has Billy Bax-
ter and Chimmie Fadden dashed together
and thrown overheard, blew into town
last week to attend to few chores for
his constituents. Those same constitu-
ents are grieving, by the same token, Tor
Mr.. McGavin didn't try for the renomina-
ton this year and the Sixty-frst Con-
gress will have to get along as best it
can without him.
But that's neither here nor there. Mr..
McGavin climbed out of plushy state
room at the Union station, sailed through
that great structure, engaged the services
of taxicab as far as newspaper row and
disappeared into barber shop. He came
out shaver, brushed up immaculate. with
all the stains Of travel removed, but dis
consulate.
II miss my Chicago barber said he.
THAT man is wonder. He has got
Bacon, Emerson and Gen. Grosvenor
beaten to pulp when it comes to real
philosophical sayings. And they amt the
thick kind, either, that takes three weeks
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

No. one would not.
But be that as it may, the solitary
horseman seen approaching from the
foothills was none other than
anywhere il you're a clever little finder.
So. with these few words by way Of
prelude, here's the story:
When the past summer was on the
wane one Of the members Of the scientific
corps of an extremely scientifical gov
eminent bureau located in the District Of
Columbia was sent. and went, down to
a little island lying of the coast OF Vir-
ginia to gather certain specimens Of the
fora and fauna thereof. 1t is not ger
name to the purpose Of this narrative to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

OW, once again.
we are going to
write q little story,
II only for our own
solace and salts
faction, about those
inenable mollusks
who tell US things
on the next morn
ing.
We don't expect
to make them feel
guilty or hang-dog
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

KNOW a man in
Mount Pleasant"
said the man with
the raveled smoke,
who recently re-
quired his wife to
show him. We
can't all do that.
That's why I'm
telling about him.
This man, being
in the fourteen
Observation-Disclosures
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

Y good friend. Al
fred Angus Early,
who has been doing
the-I mean doing
things for the ma
tional committee
during the cam
paign - is getting
fat. The scales
register something
like go pounds
now. with a ten
dency to trip at q
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

ONLY three weeks more before Con-
~ gress comes together again. and the
gashouse on the hill is marked by the
usual scenes Of northumberland and
otherwise This session should be busy.
in all senses of the word. There is not
any too much time in short session for
the preparation, properly and compre-
hensively. of the various annual money
bills and their consideration by both
branches of the national legislature. But
this year, in addition, 1t is planned to
have the tariff schedules which will be
considered by the special session of Con-
gress to be called by President Taft i'm
mediately after March all completed by
that date, so that their consideration may
be begun Immediately by the House.
There are a whole bunch of wiseheimers
in both the Senate and House who will
find it impossible to enjoy the snappy.
healthful weather of this winter for wor-
rying over the hot weather of the next
summer to come-with tariff bill in
preparation. These people, you can bet
hat. will do everything in their power to
rush affairs along SO that Congress may
put the tariff on the blink and they can
get out of town by July l. They are OPP
timistic enough to believe that this will
give the schedule manipulators plenty OF
time to get the whole blamed business III
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

Special Correspondence OF The Star.
NEW YORK, November u, 1913
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

ones own everyday observations. 1t Is
the most palpable of facts that little DTS
of women. in New York, anyhow are now
reaping all of the good things of life. are
the popular. toasted ones, and, ABOVE ALL
the sought ones.
Oh, WELL perhaps this belongs on that
long list of things we're ad1ured 10 re-
gard as "compensations.'' The little bits
of women. not SO long ago. were objects
of outward sympathy and secret ridicule
on the part of their big, overbearlng,
besought women friends. Now the Wnoie
thing has turned around The roilcklns
stars must chuckle in their courses at the
opportunities presented to each and an
of us, here below, to sort of get hunk
with destiny, only to be toppled over q
little while later by destiny's mailed
hand. And SO it's hooray for the grown.
up tots. for their day, after all, may not
be long one!
MOTE of Embarrassment.-Dow in
~ 14th street, where anything can and
does happen, young woman. with nice
wavy chestnut hair and one of the dan
diest little figgers imaginable. poses in a
department store window. The discon-
certing feature of the matter is that
really 1t is hard to go on with this. but
we'll, anyhow. the feature in connection
with ner posing IN the department store
window that causes us to hurry right on,
seeking to conceal our bushes, is that she
poses in q ribbed silk union suit. The
posing has circumspect saving features.
of course, but not enough to permit the
chief of police from calling of the hordes
of cops that he has to keep down that
way In order to make 'em move on after
they've stood there long enough in all
conscience. The only reason attention Is
invited to this outrage is that we desire
to inquire IL 1t is right, II It is proper, II
1t is seemly. that spectacles of this char
acter should be provided in New York
shop windows that make ~ just hurry on
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

NE wouldn't sup
pose, now, would
one-or two, or
three-that romance
or anything even
vaguely bordering
thereupon could be
found within the
overlapping, not
to say Supplying
precincts Of one of
Washington's pom
derousest scientific
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

two days and eleven minutes to fil.er
through the average mans conk and that
amt such a much event then. The other
day-it was just forty-eight hours or so
after election-I went in to this mans
barber shop to get fixed UP.
SAM" ! said. what do you think of
things? How would you sum up the re-
sult?"
''Mr. McGavin." he replied. Il was most
impressed by the wonderful good sense
and discernment shown by the people Of
Ollo and Indiana"
How" 1 inquired.
why" replied Sam, "they voted the
democratic state ticket so they could get
something to drink and voted the repub-
lican national ticket so as to be sure
of getting something to eat
and" concluded Mr.. McGavin with
wide grin, ''if that amt summing things
up few then I'm blithering idiot and
even my constituents won't go as far as
that"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

~ Us KARGER, who has resumed his
~ newspaper work after having con-
tributed largely toward the election OF
Judge Taft, came up to me the other day
and smiled in an ingratiating manner.
II suppose you have seen the news
paper reports mentioned me for the post
of consul general to London" said he.
mo? You don't read the papers, do you?
Anyhow. that's what they all think I'll
get, and I've got just little favor to
ask of you. When you mention this re-
port just say that the salary that goes
with it is $4,000 year. I want to send a
marked copy to the folks at home. After
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

that they won't care whether I get the
job or not The mere mention of that sal
airy in connection with me will make 'em
offer to lend me money
And Mr. Karger handed me bee-u-tiff-
ull cigar. closed his left eye significantly
and wandered away.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-14

All of the talk Of late about William
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-05-17

the braid. and to conduct the other mechanical I
cf conseouence is Of secondary consideration
compared with the materials employed.and WIN
their compounding-in the insulation for IL does
not play anywhere near so important part IN the
vital issue of safety.
The difference in cost between good and poor
insulated wires is said 10 be not at all In proper n
ton their value and the service for which tney
ers have figured alike the copper and the
While this difference may be considerable. It sinks
into insgnlficance when considered beside .t sne
matter Of prime Importance. economy of mainte,
nance. To save few dollars In hrst cost, anu
thereby imperil thousands in property, 70 say
nothing of the endangering of precious num man
TGgd 6a anil one esn Of ali to him h
their responsible custodian. the owner OF ouitor
may be to blame for using poor wire, owners are
chiefly fault and generally through gnor Sai
the Not having incurred into the suoIei,,
they do not know that there rs Amy still less
that that difference is sometimes SO great as 70
danger and absolute safety And it is at least
Charitable superstition that when their eyes are
more for safe and efficient wire In the it -
of their tenants while II IS 9ur t can readily
distinguish the difference between "a mountain
inss vaiue. and the latter in contrast. the in
creased cost Of good over poor there
is some question To begin with tnex %oIk r o,i
supply the lowest priced wire they are peI d
use. code wire. for laey nave 10 ns 49, TT
to the last notch. Oflen- get
too they claim their skirts are freed ny Ine I.'
that they under the architect speclncst
which would seem make 1t advisable thal tlt iaI
ter should exercise every car" TO OBTAIN 5000 Wiz.
II is believed that insurance Underwriters "ouIu
like to see the standard raised, recognizing ma
while perhaps. their requirements are nigh enough
for the work that is to be done, they areA n9t
sufficiently so to secure good wire as theN peiiII'
manufacturers TO use very poor quaIlty o. nae ha
rial but the main trouble thus far seems TO nave
been-and, in truth. is yet--that there are ,, SO
many parties interest IL is almost l1ilpoSsipie
10 obtain concert of action among them anu
thus as said. the so-called code wire persists,
TO the discontinue OF the manufacturers OF hiSh
class wire and to the peril Of life and property.
In the last analysis of the problem OF nov 10 "
mt stop 10 these all too frequent electric fires
Il would seem TO be then up 10 the owner. for IL
has been demonstrated that a building can De so
wired that there VIII be danger of fre from
this cause. The manner Of wiring and the pre-
cautions to be taken are determined. and 1t only
needs that the insulation used shall have practi-
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-05-17

an elastic band. which is almost entireiS p"i'
rubber: IL lasts but a short time. IT., tb a
r III ss i've Jaateriai!"Crude Kerte'-which IN
addition to its wonderfully durable ana prd. or
tive qualities (proven by the tests sna atotric ~
fifty years) Is also an 1nsuiatof a"
Another property which is possessed on,y o oo
Kerite is that the nsua ton may be burned t the
wire will remain perfectly insulated ~ would
insulated wire were SO mineral matter in the
form of ashes, with the result tnat thn wire what
no insulating protection LEFT TO tne same In the
iooaina or circuits: and to the same proper,
tomato extent. 1t will be seen tnen s atiopMfor
points Of view Kerte is the a fnnai and for
economy. OF interesting trio or uitsnants
makers. Mr. Day and his Two abe latter only sur
ives Once the superintendent, he IS no" , me
owner of the great business, which is ho" ~ H. M
its product the confines OF clviiIzatloh, dered
largely Increased the plant and so mas Tenuti 80
possble and has facilitated the prompt execution
of the largest orders: . 49,, o,,,a al, vol
un1es) TO the svorth Of Kerite Of which the npni
has been the involuntary reep,ent ears ago BY
the Master of Tclegraphy. Morse who said:
have been much gratifed in hearing your sNpaana "a
ton Of your newly discoveries comipu ns;ns Of
If in its application to telesraphic conductors as
an insulatcr whether in the atmosphere tne eai.l,
or beneath the water. 1t appears TO me that you
have discovered the most perfect as yet OF All
insulating substances for submarine telegraph ca
bes It's qiality or rather proper,y OF re st
sooner or later the insulation by gutta perCha or
caoutchouc, makes IL an invaluable discovery In
aid OF teegraphc extension. The test to which
1t has been submitted, and by which it has been
proved to resist the deterio-atng effects of the
ozone of the atmosphere. appear perfectly salts
factory. and therefore most cheerfully and cor
daily join with those VINO have tested It's EN-
cheney in consrat uatns you on your success in
introducing valuable aid To the teesrhphlc