Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-08-16

The Irish comedian Is = rOllicking
joyial sort of person, and usually
comes in dancing a jig just as the
old man expires. He 10 always re.
cognized by little cap which has
two holes in /. and sits Oh the hack
Of his head. curly hair. white teeth,
and a genial smile. AS far as his
ability as a clog dancer, the audi
ence thinks that he he's the Angelus
Sisters and Bonnie McGinn wiped on
the map. It is usually very little ef-
fort for him to SPEAK the Irish brogue.
as his father kissed the blarney stone
and his mother was born in Cork. he
Is a very good man. but none OF the
women seem to like him. He always
tries to make hi' with the servant
Arls. but usually ends up by getting
a perfectly good slap in the face.
No one knows who he is or wnerc
he caIue from. Ard al he knows
about himself is that at the early age
OF his father would make him milk
the goats on Nanny Goat Hill. Then
his father died and he took up the
pick, where mis- father had dropped II.
But it was not long before he decluca
that working with the c1ovcn hoof OF
gigantic corporation u'on his neck
was poor idea. SO he wandered over
the states until be came to :hc little
village OF Dreary Hollow. Here he
has been living ever Stree, his only
occupation being to be nee 10 the
children and to SPY upon the william.
He is TIE one who always takes the
initiative at q time Of danger. IT Is
he who suggests the Span OF Life ana
is the first one to stretch himself over
the mighty torrent 1t IS he who
takes the throttle from the engineer
and stops the train within an eighth
OF an incE OF Neil. the herOincs BODY.
which is secured to the paner rails
with great cords CT thir. twinc.
He Wants to Marry the Dairy Maid.
1t is he who knows where the
switch is to stop the great paper saw
from crushing in the herOs equally
soft head. 1t is he wEo wants 10 mar
l.: the little dairy maid. and she likes
him because he is Slwa:s telling her
EGw good looking she is. No one else
thinks so, that possibly being the rea-
soiI why she has not been told before.
He talks to her about her kind-faced
ccy and Offers to carry Der little
thrce-legged stool for her, but usually
when he IS OH the stage and takes II
from her he Immediately sits down
on it himself, lighting pipe which
wGi.Id make Samson appear like Little
Tom Thumb He fascina!es her with
tales of the cd country. and his I'M
agination is as fertile as the ould Sod.
His favOrite expressions are sure,
"BegOrra,'' Go on with ye," and III
vii bit do care Il can remember
as a little boy sitting on my GREAT
grandmother's knee and hearing her
tell .tOut the dey when s. Patrick
came and drove out the snakes. Sure,
the description she gave me of the
dedication OF the blarnev stone wohIu
mike tears come TITO tn e-es C. nc
mummy at the Elm Mu"ee." The lii
lie girl looks ri him VIZ. wite-eyrd
establishment a; ne continues to tell
her Of his fcats and exp otis.
Did We know that las in :hs Clr-
II wa-?" says he. "Beg'!ri' 'hcy
were doing nothing but fs"ting all the
time, and the only relaxation that :
had was when 1 stepped MP behind
Gen. Grant and took mis- flask out OF
h., pocket when he wat looking
This was = ha: i trick &C 90. because
he kCpt his eye to the rca- as Mca
a. to the front. 1t was noi long after
that 1 became :: lieutenant co:'m.l in
COxeys ARM. and We marched on the
city Of Washington. Did We ever
= hear song, me lassie. called HE
walked right in and turned around
and walked right out. again??' We'll,
that was Ccxey and meself. They
didn't give us even time to get pail
o, beers Coxcy got six months. From
that me next experience was peddiihS
rubber faces along with some other
fnanciers in front of the treasury
building, but l gave It up one day
when a man looked at me face and
then at one Of the rubber ones and
asked me IL mine ives for sale.
Decided to Give Up Hard Work.
Then decided to give up nard
work. So taking large sum Of mon
ey which I found on the corner OF FIR
feenth and G I got on the train for
Dreary Hollow. You can imagine my
:furprise when I started to buy me
ticket and the conductor told me ! had
a Chadwick roll, which Is worse than
q dCughnut with q big hole in 1t. The
conductor suggested that walking was
good. so go; 81 and took the Shoe
and Leather express. and all the way
kept thinking about the purtiest
face I could think # in the world ;hat
had never seen. and. W jabers!
when I came into the village the hrs'
person ! saw was you At this juno
src she becomes YER. shy. and as
shc walks toward ncr to give her
ainal embrace. be usually tripcs over