davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25
.AYHAWKER .JOTS

Wellington boys and girls amuse
themselves by piling bricks on the side
walks. and when grownups fall over the
distractions their childish merriment
may be heard for blocks.
1t is reported in the Chanute Sun that
ii. f. Beale of that place has COW
that gave birth to twin calves on ST.
Patrick's day. The frisky little fellows
are marked exactly alike and have been
named Pat and Mike.
Word comes that the town Of
Chapman is tired of the enforcement
of the blue laws on Sunday. The
people of the town want it discontin-
ued. 1t is believed that the visions
of baseball furnish the reason for the
sudden turn about.
Federal court officers at Wichita are
charging that town with being the
headquarters for most of the bandits
and thieves who infest the adjacent
territory, and they go so far as to ac-
cuse the police of being Gin cahoots"
with the bad men.
J. W. johnson remembered the editor
of the Pratt Republican not long ago
with basket of fine large turnips
which had been buried in the ground
since last fall and a bunch of nice win
ter onions. No one can blame the edi-
tor for remarking that Mr. Johnson
raises the finest garden vegetables in
Pratt.
According to Bent Murdoch IAN early
settler story that when the buffalo went
north in June they swan the Arkansas
river with their calves On their backs"
Is denied. The truth is that the bulls
crossed the stream on their hind legs.
carrying the calves in their arms. But
then most anything goes in an early
settler story.
story is going the rounds in the
Kansas railroad towns about an Irish
man who worked in a round house, and
one day when the boss was out an
swered the telephone. Hello shouted
Pat, as he entered the booth and closed
the door behind him. Hello" came
over the wire. Is this one seven?'
What do you think 1 am" replied the
son of Erin wrathfully, "a box carr"
An Atchison woman, so the Globe
relates has not seen the reflection Of
her face in a glass for nine years. She
hasn't a mirror in her house, and will
not go to a neighbours for fear she
will see one. Nine years ago, before
she came to Atchison, she was a very
pretty, light-hearted, light-headed
girl. Two men fell in love with her,
and one killed the other. She thinks
her beauty and vanity were to blame,
and made a vow that she would never
look at her face again. Few ever see
her face, as she is always heavily
yelled when she appears on the
streets.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25
GLOBE SIGHTS.
lFrom the Atchison Globe. I


Go out on a desert island without
even letter from home, and you will
not be as lonesome as an old man seems
when boarding at a hotel
The woman never lived who could act
genuinely glad to see caller who in
terrupt her when she was reading the
proposing point of a love story
When some people repeat anything
bad, they square it with their con-
science by telling 1t in a tone full of
regret that there is so much wickedness
in the world.
A boy may deplore his lack of knowl-
edge on some subjects, but it doesn't
bother him much that he has failed to
learn all the details of perfect table
manners.
Every once in awhile you hear some
one demand that the devil be given
his due. There is one thing about which
there need be no worry: the devil will
always get his due.
When a woman tells man that his
offer Of marriage is a surprise" to her.
she does it to be coy. A.man never sur
prised woman yet by telling her he
thought a great deal of her.
Don't argue. 1t is tiresome, and does
no good. When you disagree with a
man, say: 81 have a long and tiresome
argument on the other side, but 1 can
not convince you, and shall not attempt
it,"
Is the meat market man an expert
guesger or careless? You will observe
that he always throws your Is cents
worth Of steak or sausage on the scales.
but he never adds to, nor deducts from,
the original cut.
There are very few people who know
when they have on the right amount
Of perfumery. The woman who has so
| much of it on that it is perceptible when
you are near her, is as loud as if she
smelt of an old pipe.
Why not devote your spare time to
| feeling good, instead of to a whist club /?
Membership in a whist club has a ten
| dency to cause you to feel tough. par
ttcularly If you remain up late, and
smoke and eat a good deal There is
nothing in the world that pays so we'll
| as taking care of yourself. Unless you
| feel good, you can't do anything well.
| People do not admire kickers but
| they encourage them. We have noticed
that the best bargains are given to
| kickers; they get the best steak; they
are waited on before more unselfish
| people, and they never have to wait
for their goods to be delivered. They
| are treated so much better than con-
| siderate people that the wonder is that
J everyone in the world is not a kicker.
1t is a good thing that the dead can
! not be restored to life. If a man who
has been dead only a day could be
brought back tc life it would interiors
with the p1aos of the living, and cause
as much annoyance as his death caused
/ grief. If the friends of the most pop
| ular man who ever lived could be
brought together six months after his
| death to decide upon his restoration to
| life, the chances are that he would be
left at rest in the cemetery
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

IF'rom the Chicago News1
What man has done woman thinks
she can undo.
The beauties OF poverty can be seen
only at a distance.
Many women have discovered the
secret Of keeping secrets.
It's easier to try to look intelligent
than it is to make good.
The elevator man doesn't think It
wrong to run people down.
Good doctors know better when they
see an improvement in their patients.
The little than a man wants here be-
low is a little more than his neighbor
has.
Some women would stop to rubber
when they have something on the stove
cooking.
No man is so prosperous that he can
afford to dispense with the rest of man.
kind.
There isn't much hope for a deaf man
who is unable to hear the noise Of a
paper dollar.
The average woman would worry q
lot more than she does If she listened to
everything she says.
Did you ever hear a man with an
obese bank balance say that love of
money was the root Of all evil?
In addition to the anxious mothers
and meddlesome neighpo.s, more than
60, 900 people in this country are engaged
in the matchmaking industry.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25
HUA0R or THE Day

Georgia paper says: He who rides
on the rail courts DEATH" It was an
Irishman. ridden on a rail, who said that
just as soon walk.-Houston Post.
II understand you have perfected an
Yes" answered the scientist. modest
ly;. is 1t on the market?"
It's for the magazines. washing Wa HIM
Star.
visitor-Your husband, the doctor. is
pacing up and down the room excited
ly; he seems i'll.
Wife of the Physician-I should think
himself beeri-Transatiant Tales.
do you know anything about mechan-
Not a thing answered the rodent at
large. I've always boarded with bankers
and the like. washington Herald.
,, II hate to tell you this. George said
MISS Eoxley: but pa says he thinks you
In a sense that's true, my dear" re-
piled Mr.. Mainchantz for your face is
your fortune. and that's what attracts
me. "-Philadelphia Press.
Parishioner Ca little the worse for liquor)
IL hearth you preach las night.
fancy.
Parishioner-Thaz what Chico thought
myself.-Leslie's Weekly.
That is a celebrated spiritualist at the
next table, confided the waiter
I guessed as MUCH replied the regu-
lar patron.
And how did you guess, sir7'
why, heard her call for medium
Bacon-would you call him good tai
ker?
| Egbert-No. I would not.
Bacon-How many times have you heard
him talk?
Egbert-Only once
| Baoon-And when was that?
Egbert-When he was trying to open a
car window.-Yonkers Statesman.
| reading, Willie?
Little Willie-It's a book called Child
| Training that I borrowed from Mrs.
| Smith.
Mamma-Do you find it amusing?
| Little Willie-Oh. no; 1 merely wanted
| to see If had been brought UP properly.
Boston Courier.
Bowers-Bill is always talking about
| the war?
Powers-No; he means. that he is kept
busy. chasing from the kitchen range to
the furnace.-Philadelphia Telegraph.
1T is true, SIR" replied the poor but
otherwise honest youth, land while 1 an,
obliged to confess that it will have to be
a case Of love in a cottage. still IT,
That's all right, young man." inter-
rupted the stern parent. Love in a cot
have my consent
"Oh. thank you, sir!'' exclaimed the Y
NJ
| Upon one condition" continued the old
4 gentleman, land that is, you must be able
to show me the deed for the cottage
Good night. young man."-Chicago News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25
PROFITS OF FORESTRY.

In view of the opposition to the eff
forts of the forest service of the fed
eral agricultural. department to con-
serve the timber resources of the
country, and the attitude Of Speaker
Cannon in antagonizing what he calls
"nourfshing' the forests of the ma
tional domain, figures regarding the
profits of forestry, as conducted in
some of the countries of Europe, are
of more than passing interest.
The German empire has nearly TO-
600, 900 acres of state forests, divided
between the states of Prussia. Bava-
ria, Wurtemberg, Saxony. Alsace-Lor-
raine and Baden. The net profits TO
the empire from these forests In the
various states differ somewhat. but
the income, as a whole. Is satisfactory
and in no state do the forestry oper-
atoms show a deficit The profits are
the lowest in Prussia where they are
fraction over $1.25- per acre an
nuaIly, and the highest in Saxony,
where the net income is $4.25 annual
". It is estimated that the yearly
average for the whole empire is be-
tween 50 and SO per acre. At the low
est estimate, the income from the
state forests of the empire is thus at
least s2O,oO0.000.
It is explained that the greater part
of the forest domain of Germany
consists of land that is mountainous
and rugged and too sterile for agri-
culture. Very little of it would, If
cleared and utilized for agriculture,
command a yearly rental of rs cents
an acre.
The state has during the past
twenty years, purchased outright
from private owners, 329,S50 acres in
Prussia at cost of $5,625,000, and
the present net profits from the land
SO purchased amount to more than
seven per cent a year on the invest
ment. In estimating the profits Of
these German state forests. it should
be remembered that the prime OBJ
ject of "nourishing" the forest do
main is not revenue, but. the preser-
walton of the timber supply for the
benefit of future generations.
Because of the experience of Ger
many, the preservation of the remain
ing forests of the United States be-
comes a matter of much importance.
At the present rate OF destruction
timber famine can not be postponed
more than the length of a single gen.
Grafton. If, by the reservation of the
present government timber lands and
the judicious purchase of others. the
supply of timber can not only be per-
petuated, but afford net profit, the
wisdom Of such conservation OF
"nourishing" should be apparent to
men who do not assume to be pub
liciStS or statesmen.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

[From the Philadelphia Record.l
The only way to get friends is to
make hem yourself.
A little learning is a dangerous
thing, especially IL 1t is a little automo-
bile learning.
The worst thing about losing your
temper is that you can SO easily find it
again.
The fellow who can kill two birds
with one stone is something Of a bird
himself.
Many a man doesn't do anything
worth while because he thinks it isn't
worth while.
Judging from the hot air people
spout, they must have been reared in
the Desert of Sahara.
Even when they are married in the
spring bridal couples generally go to
Niagara to see the falls.
Borrowell-"Do you really think
there are microbes in money!" Hard
uppe-"I've never had any long
enough to make a test of IT,
ITO him that hath shall be given"
quoted the Wise Guy. YES" assented
the Simple Mug, who has recently ac-
quired anarchistic views, "to him that
hath shall be given good. swift kick
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25

wishing that her cheeks would not
rival the ribbon in tint.
81 did, admitted Tommy placidly.
Were goin' to get marble week after
next. I got my pay raised and I can
afford it,
you've got a nerve,' SCORED Lis
beth, but she let him clasp her in his
arms. and as he pressed her cheeks
with eager lips, she remembered, the
scene in the Cryders' home. She had
had her lesson, and her intended re-
lection of Tommy Ranson's love was
ten.--(Copyrighted. 1908, by As
ISOLATED Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25

A great many people had already
FORMED the opinion that many of the
railroads of the west had been crying
q good deal harder than their hurts.
because of the october panic, warrant
ed. And now Mr.. Lane of the COM
merce commission comes, along with
the information that the roads have
hot been affected so seriously by the
business depression as they have been
leading people to believe that they had.
Commissioner Lane has found that the
railroads in the east were most affect
ed but that the panic was scarcely felt
s0n the lines west of Chicago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25
JOURNAL ENTRIES

The only way some folks can be
taught to draw is to hitch them to a
wagon.
X X
Any number of boys will sell their
chances Of being president for a dime.
X n X
Marriage generally teaches a man
a little sense but it is then too late
to use it.
There's great difference between
say what you think and saying what
you think you think.
X X X
Maybe the seasons are always pic
tured as women because men are
never satisfied with them no matter
what kind they get.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
[From the New York Press.1

GFrom the New York Press1
The only poetry that is read is when
1t is quoted in love letters.
A man has great self-control when he
cusses all around people instead of at
them.
A big family is a useful thing to the
trades people that make their Hyings
out of you that way.
The way girl likes you to make low,
to her Is to tell her and then go home
and write it in exactly the same Ian
guage.
One of the mockerfes of life is how
surprised a girls family always seems
when a fellow asks for her hand after
they have arranged it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25

DR.. Lyman Abbott, the distinguished
divine and noted editor of The Out
look, expressed unstinted admiration
for the beauties of Topeka as a place
to live in. The same Is said by all
discerning people who visit the city.
And it may be remarked that there
are quite a number of residents of the
town who do not appreciate in any
way the wondrous advantages of their
home town. A few trips around the
country, to places in the east as well
IS the west, would convince them that
Topeka is one of the finest cities of its
size In the whole United States.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25
ABsENTEEISM IN HOUSE.

Leaders in the house of representa-
tiyes and Speaker Cannon are con-
cerned over the growing practice of
representatives in being away from
the chamber during the considera-
ton of important business. 1t always
has been difficult to keep members
present during the daily session, but,
according to the reports from WASH
ington, absenteeism has become a
positive evil this year.
This is due to the ract that the
house now owns a large office build
ing. put up at a cost of several mil
lions of dollars and containing fine
quarters for every member. In the
secIusion of the Office building a MEM
Der, who is not burdened with any
responsibility other than to cast his
vote when a signal for him to do so
is given, spends his time sending out
seeds and writing to the folks at
| home.
II the present plans are carried out
another excuse for members who are
not disposed to attend the daily pro-
| ceediugs will be provided. What Mr..
Tawney, a representative from Min
nesota calls a plot to retard bust
ness in the house is in process of be-
| ing Matched.
When the office building was COM
pleted members made complaint that
they were SO far removed from the
| chamber they had no way of finding
out what was going on except by
means of a telephone. This was I'M
satisfactory. 1t was then suggested
/ til t., Il i,,
hitting stock quotations, be installed
in the rooms of the members, but the
! scheme was discarded. Then the
house officials discovered a device that
| is believed will fill the bill. If put
into use this device will communicate
| over the wires to rooms in the office
building every sound and syllable ut
| tered on the house floor.
Why not connect such a device by
wires with the homes of the con-
gressmen? And then probably in the
process of development the time will
| come when measures will be adopted
| without making it necessary for the
| members to go to Washington at all
The first thing we know the house
will rejoice in the possession of an
up to date signal service, including a
wireless outfit. And from his home
in Honolulu the delegate from
Hawaii by merely touching a buttor
or sending message by wireless, will
be able to register his vote on a giver
measure.
But, all Joking aside, it does seen
that the representatives should be or
hand in the halls of the house to give
their personal attention by their pres
ence to the transaction of the public
business which the people sent then
there to look after. All of them are
plenty eager enough to get there ant
they should ever be present to attent
to such business as comes up in the
house daily.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25

When two cent fare laws were put
in operation in many Of the states the
announcement was made by the rail-
roads that there would be no more
special rates at prices that would be
less than two cents a mile. From the
advertisements now in the newspapers
it is evident that the railroads have
changed their minds on this point. AS
a matter of fact travel this summer to
the Pacific coast is to be cheaper than
ever before.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25

all of the important ones in fact. have
contracts with the various classes OF
their employees who are members or Or
ganized labor unions. These contracts
cover wage scales and If there had been
an arbitrary reduction Of wages dis
astrous strikes were certain to follow.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25

Secretary Taft is making strong
speeches for states rights, but what
can Mr.. Taft or anyone else do as
long as the federal supreme court con-
kinues to curtail the rights of states,
ESPECIALLY the rights Of their courts,
Jas 1t has done in the notable decision
IN the Minnesota railroad case which
was handed down on Monday. AS
lDustice Harlan, who dissented from the
opinion Of the court, said, the decis-
aon is era-making In the history of the
court. He also predicts that it will
result disaStrously.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25

DR.. Crumbine keeps pegging away at
k&he enforcement Of the pure food and
kpure drug laws. He is certainly a
model for activity and best of all he
gets results. He has discovered that
Tor years the millers Of the state have
been selling 48 pounds for quarter
barrel of flour. One should weigh 40
pounds and DIR. Crumbine is going to
see that the quarter barrels weigh
that in the future.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25

Oberlin M. Carter, who served nearly
five years Imprisonment for alleged
fraud in connection with the govern
Enent work at Savannah harbor, intends
10 make a fight to regain his rank of
captain in the United States army. In
q suit in the federal courts over mon
eys In the possession of Mr.. Carter
Judge Kohlsaat has given the ex-cap-
tain q strong vindication of the graft
charges on which he was convicted
and perhaps a grave injustice was done
Carter by the military court martial.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25
ERCN OTHER PENS
DESTINATION FoF HoNEsrY

William Allen White, who is held by
some, and for all we know by many,
to be something of a philosopher and
even more of an observer of Things
as They Are, told the City club of Chi
cago, this week that here and now
the poor house is the general destina-
ton of the honest man." At any rate
he is quoted in the dispatches as MAX
ing that statement, so he presumably
said something to that effect. If he did,
it seems to US that for once at least
Mr.. White has shown himself to be an
inaccurate observer and a philosopher
who has gone astray. The honest man
doubtless stands a chance of going to
the poor house in this day and place,
as in every other. But why shouldn't
he? A man may be honest and yet
lack either the inclination or the abil-
ity to earn living. In that case we
see no particular reason why he
shouldn't go to the poorhouse. Our
own impression, and it is growing
deeper, not lighter, as the years go
on. is that the dishonest man is rather
more likely to find himself sooner or
later in Jail than is the honest man Of
ordinary competency, industry and luck
to end his days in the poorhouse. Of
honesty as of other virtues, a good
deal of nonsense is talked by residents
of Kansas and others. The virtues are
all right in their way, and far be 1t
from us to decry them, but not one
cient claim for support out of the poor
house. and the probability that there's
not a poorhouse in the country or the
world that doesn't contain several hon.
est inmates is not at all disQuieting-
New York Times.
GERMANY'S AERONAUTICS.
The German victory in the United
States last October, in which the long
est flight was attained, was no acct
dent. It was the theory of the Ger
man aeronaut in control that ordinary
balloons are dirigible by means of
shifting to different currents at vary
ing elevations, and he chose for his as
sistant an American expert on upper
air currents, who for many years had
been studying this subject at the Blue
Hill (Mass.) observatory. The point
aimed at by the German balloonist on
his departure was New York city. He
landed at Asbury Park, which was a
close shot.
It is announced that the German en-
peror and his military advisers have
ordered five balloons for army service.
The most noted airship builder in the
empire, Count Zeppelin, who has, at his
expense, carried on many notable ex-
periments at the Lake of Constance,
believed that large bodies of troops
can be moved through the air. His
opinion must have weight with the
government, for the Krupp works are
manufacturing guns of peculiar pat
tern, intended to sweep the air for
miles, vertically or otherwise, over
head. Two German systems of wire
less biography are adapted to bal
looms within a distance of 80 miles.
Several large airship corporations
have been established in Germany. The
striking point in German aeronautics
is their thoroughly practical nature and
the confidence with which they are
pursued from that point Of view.-St.
Louis Globe-Democrat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25

Good news comes from Chicago to
The effect that the executives of the
western railroads have reached decis-
ION not to order a general reduction in
xvages and the labor leaders have been
Informed Of this decision. 1t is thought
keia4 the eastern railroads will follow
suit and If they do many serious strike
Eilf be- ayerted. Most OF the railroads.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-25

Reports come from Washington that
Fresident Roosevelt is near a split with
Easbor and that in his forthcoming
message to congress he will demand
khe passage of laws which are opposed
ply the labor unions. It is believed
that he will insist that no changes will
he made in Sherman antitrust law
(which will prevent the prosecution of
k,nions for maintaining boycotts.