The Washington herald., 1908-02-23

you are patriotic and all that. but that's
no reason, just because it's Washing
toms Birthday. that you should stay
out all night and leave me here at home
all by myself II I have read the paper
through once I have read It through a
dozen times while I have been sitting up
waiting for you. You seem 70 think
woman never needs her husband. and l
wanted you so badly about 70 O'Clock.
cause little Emily started to walk in
her sleep and liked to scared Haley most
TO death. I have been keeping her awake
ever since for fear she would walk
some more. and the poor child has Just
cried herself 70 sleep.
4 have been wondering whether II
was because the bed was TOO warm that
made Emily get up Ike that. You know.
Job. ! read in The washington Herald
that the cheapest way 10 make a good
bed covering was 70 use newspapers.
and I made a comfort out Of two
blankets. with a lot OF newspapers in
between them, for Emily's bed. started
10 use only the Springfield Republican
and the New York Evening Post. be-
cause they are both such sound papers.
but l guess must have got a New York
Journal or two in by mistake. No won
der II made little Emily get UP.
Say, Job, what do you think that
japanese war ship has been following
our feet for all up and down the coast
OF South America I don't really think
there IS going TO be any war. do you2
Especially since they sent that nice Mr.
Takahira back TO this country; II he and
that nice little Honey Boy, or whatever
his name is, can't get along with Presi-
dent Roosevelt don. know who can.
Have you been drinking. Job? Yes.
you have I know il by the way you
dropped your shoes on the floor. I think
it's q perfect shame. could take the
money that YOU spend for one drink
and could go shopping an day and
have lots more fun. You ought 10 be
careful about drinking. see where a
man in Illinois died yesterday from TOO
much drinking. or course. the papers
say his death was caused by drinking
two quarts OF water l guess there's
no danger Of your passing away from
any such cause as that. though / wish
you'd explain 90 nae, Job. what all this
means in the paper about the sale Of
loot by Mrs. Conger. wife OF the former
Minister 20 China Do you suppose
those things she IS selling were really
stolen? { understand she has enough
stun 10 furnish three or four houses.
can't understand how il is that Min
ister's wife can deal in stolen goods.
and II anybody else does IL. they Will be
arrested Why. I remember two or
three years ago when Mrs. Orrin. who
used 20 I've next door to US, was down
town shopping. il seems like that
somehow or other two pairs Of silk
stockings got tangled Up in her mun.
and they was going 10 arrest her. ana
she wasn't a Minister'S wife either. II
appears 10 me r3lat II you are going 10
deal in stolen goods. the only safe way
is to deal in it wholesale.
Talk about your nature-faking. Job
I don't blame the President for getting
after people who insist upon telling all
sorts OF lies about birds and beasts.
There's story in a newspaper about
hen laying an egg. and when il was
hard-bOiled and opened. they found
quarter OF dollar in it-ln the egg. I
mean I don't believe that can be true.
do you. even though the paper did give
the date OF the quarter-said II was an
1876 quarter and worth a premium OF %
cents. NO wonder eggs are going Up in
price. Speaking about eggs Job. what
do you think Of this spelling
proposition? see now they want 10
spell egg with only one g OF course,
IL makes things simpler; but the trouble
IS Il makes me look such a fool when
try 10 hear the chiidren's lessons.
asked little Haley tonight how 10 spell
pneumonia and he spelled it with an
m: said that when a letter was silent
they left It out altogether nowadays.
I expect by and by we viii get back to
signs Ike they had in the old DAYS. and
won't have any spelling ar all.
Did you see. Job. where a jury in
Pittsburg decided that no kiss IS worth
S20oO? Il seems that manN kissed a
girl against her viii. and she sued him
$4,000 II seems that man kissed
are 50 uugrateful. don't you? She was
d Saleslady- She used TO be a shop girl
until her wages were raised 10 S. a week,
and then she became a saleslady.
guess the verdict was all right. don't
YOU. Job2 It seems TO me that twO
thousand dollars is pretty expensive for
kissing a saleslady.
Talking about verdicts. did you see
where a judge in Mexico sentenced a
woman 10 be silent for six months?
She's not 10 talk at all during that time.
If she does she goes to prison. They
couldn't do that in this country. thank
heaven-it would come under the head
of cruel and unusual punishment. or
whatever it is that the Constitution pro