The Ketchikan miner., 1908-04-04
GANDERBONE'S MARCH FORE

CAST
 The ideas of March will come again,
 When Caesars blood was let; The foes of Bryan will hide out
 Behind the parapet;
 And when he sees them lurking there,
 He'll guess their fell intent
 And run just like his friends all hope
 He'll run for president.
 The candidates Republican will pass the stand again, and the portly form of Mir. Taft will show handsome gain the whiskerlets of Mir. Hughes will float upon the breeze, the fleet that sailed Magellan's Straits will cruise the western seas; the infant boom of Cortelyou will grimly yield the ghost. and tine fleet will run the banquets on the other Latin coast.
 Another lot of foreign counts, and busted sports and old, will come across to marry more of our dead easy gold :; a count will marry a million cool, and a discount two or three, and gold and girl (and horse laugh loud) they'll all put out to sea; and while the Goulds give Boni one-just one-more chance, alack. we'll all steal off and kick our selves quite low down on the back.
 March was the first month of the Roman year, and was named from Mars, the god of war. Mars looked like twin brother to Richard r. Hobson, and he was the regular Ro- man delegate to the peace conference at The Hague. He was supposed to be the father of Romulus, the founder of Rome, but he was not he was only the young mans godfather. In an- cient warefare it was customary to place a good bronze bust of Mars on the field and then fight for it.
 The comedy of life will be about what it has been-the men will labor day and night, and the wives of men will spin. They'll have a club for every day, and never cease to go; they'll learn to talk of many themes their husbands do not know they'll hear a lecturer from Greece, another on Japan, another on the Renaissance, and several on man; they'll hire lot of long-haired freaks to make them erudite, they'll work on papers every morn, and look up things at night and their husbands will get supper cold and suffer ridicule- the child ren will grow up like wolves, while Mamma goes to school.
 The money indiscreetly loaned Will faithfully keep Lent,
 And lady teacher will sit on
 The pin W hen it is bent:
 But when the principal responds To screams heard through the house, She'll not tell him what happened, but Will say she saw mouse. Until the 2lst, March will be under the influence of the zodiacal sign known as Pisces the Fish. Pisces will induce his relative, Stuyvesant Fish, to take the Illinois Central fight into the U. $. supreme court, where E. Il. Hartman will be ditched with two bum lamps. q derailed backbone, and swift kick in the caboose.
 After the Fist, March will be under the influence of Aries, the sign of the Head Under this sign, old heads will come to the front in the presidential race, and Uncle Joe Cannon will come out of last place and make the presi- dent put two more burrs in the spacl- ous bosom of Mr. Taft's pants. Peisons born under Pisces drink like fish and vote wet. They make excellent suhordinates, like Friday and Loeb. They can say no, and it is futile to expose them to any more life insurance, for they won't take it. They are very cautious, and always take seats near the fire escape. Persons born under Aries always think before speaking. and then never say anything. They are good organ izers and generally belong to the Anti-Saloon League. They make good lawyers. and generally get the case continued until they can elect the prosecuting attorney.
 The Vernal Equinox wi come,
 And the Irish will parade;
 The booming bullfrog will resume
 His music in the glade.
 The mole will hurrow in the lawn,
 And the rash duck hunter toot
 His caller while pneumonia drills
 A leak hole in his boot.
 And then the gentle spring will come and the poet will essay, with swelling breast and bliss his bum and Muse-attended lay: the rooster will announce the dawn, and the hen will scratch the dirt. and everybody will put on thinner undershrt. The sassafras will brew again to tone the system rank, and the washout will up set the train and throw it. down the bank; the gander and the goose will moult, the meadow will he wet, and tho pring-intoxicated colt will turn a summer set. The house will be clean ed up again, the robbins come in