davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
The Automobile Face.

might have been if you hadn't gone
out Of our lives SO abruptly.
I don't wish to discourage you
Bunch, but if you have bundle OF
spare coin, why don't you invest it in
a building lot in the suburbs?-a lot
which runs not backwards or for
wards, and which bites not like an ad.
upon which no coroner can sit for any
length of time without getting the
lumbago.
Speaking of gasoline naturally
brings us to kerosene.
We have been getting along nicely
out here in the country, with the pos
sible exception that Peaches has tried
to assassinate all the mosquitoes in
the neighborhood with almost fatal
results to herself.
Peaches seems to have labored
under the impression that the proper
way to assassinate mosquito is to
throw bomb at it and then cross the
fingers and hope for the best.
At any rate, she read somewhere in
a book that the kindest way to as
sassinate the mosquito is to coax
a bunch of them up in the corner and
throw vitriol in their faces, which gen
orally causes them to be ashamed OF
themselves and makes them lead less
bloodthirsty lives.
Well, Peaches tf&sd this idea, but il
so happened that my best pair of trou
sers were hanging in the same cor
per which she picked out to work hel
third degree on the skeets, with the re
suit that my trousers departed this
world in great haste, while the mosqui
toes put their stingers up their sleeve!
and ran away, laughing wildly.
Then took Peaches out in a.vacan
lot, far from the bosom OF her fam
lily, and explained to her the scientific
difference hstween mosquitoes and
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18

Dear Bunch: In Paris, Ell? Give
my regards to the Moulin Rouge,
won't you?
notice what you say in your letter
about buying a couple of French auto
mobiles in Paris, one of the same be-
ing for me.
I'm glad to see you have such a
sweet disposition, Bunch, but nix on
the Bubble.
Not for yours hastily.
I've caught all the diseases to date
except the automobilious fever.
While walking around the city
streets 1 have been making a deep
study Of whiz wagons, Bunch but so
close was the machinery to lay out
posts at the time and so eager was l
to get out of the way that perhaps
I am prejudiced.
The automobile is the rich mans
wine and the poor mans chaser.
1t keeps our streets full of red,
white and blue streaks all the livelong
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
BATHING AN INDIAN IDOL.
Curious Ceremony Attended by Thou
sands of Devout Pilgrims.

Thousands of pilgrims from the va
rious outlying villages and other parts
OF the Hooghly district poured in from
an early hour in the morning to the
temples of Jagernath, says the Cal
cutta Statesman.
The image of the god is placed on
a conspicuous part of the temple, SC
that it can be viewed at an advantage
by the immense crowd of pilgrims,
and there at a certain fixed hour the
bathing ceremony commences.
The most curious part of the festi-
val is that water is not poured on the
image of the god until certain small
bird is found sitting on the topmost
banner of the temple. There is pop
ular belief that the bird comes from
Puri, the famous place of Hindu pilgrim
age, to Maheoh on the day of this
festival, and his very presence is an
indication that the ceremony should
commence. Immediately after the
bath the bird disappears.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18

ON
Case lEhE
KEROSENE
ON

paid of nine-dollar trousers to oil OF
which she listened with much pa
thence, except when I swore too loud.
But she was not discouraged-nay!
The next day Ehe read in a paper
that kerosene oil was the only genu-
inc and reliable way to overcome the
mosquito, so she went after them by
the oil route.
The article in the paper didn't give
full instructions how to use the kero-
sene, so Peaches thought it all out
for awhile, and then she poured about
half a gallon CT oil in the bathtub
and waited
think she expected the mosquitoes
to walk into the bathroom, undress,
grab the soap and plunge into the
kerosene oil, where they would perish
miserably without even getting a
chance to throw up the sponge.
But none of the mosquitoes in our
house felt that it was necessary to
take a bath, so that scheme failed,
while worse and more ravenous and
more pitiless grew the hunger of the
pests which were using us for a meal
ticket
Then somebody told Peaches that
the right way to apply kerosene oil
was to put it in sprinkling can, then
dash up behind the enemy and
sprinkle them on the lumbar region.
To see Peaches chasing bevy of
mosquitoes around the parlor with fire
in her eyes, carpet-sweeper in her
left hand and sprinkling can full of
kerosene oil in her right hand was 9
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18

counterfeit money, we shall not, even
in the interests of justice, have hand
in it's making or its floating. Well,
this Robyns trouble came along when,
in addition to our regular work, we
had our hands pretty full with look
ing after Spanish spies and other Sc
cret matters connected with the war
"Robyns was German, and what
we needed in his business was a man
who could speak the language. l
picked up young fellow who could do
this, and sent him out west. He
wasn't the kind of operator 1 wanted,
but he was the best could get at the
time. He did very well for awhile
got in with Robyns, saw him make his
spurious dollars and all that sort of
thing-but one day he tripped.
Robyns wanted some acid and asked
our man to buy it, The operator con-
scented, and when his report reached
the office he was recalled and the case
against Robyns dropped. We could
not afford to make the governments
agents particeps criminis. Three
months later, however, we jagged
Robyns on an entirely new charge.
"By the way" Chief Wilkie OBJ
served, as new angle of thought
struck him, did you know that
sleight-o is figuring more and
more in the operations of the secret
service? ] am trying to get the art
down to Thoroughly practical working
basis, and so far have had good re-
suits. Yes, it's a little hobby of mine
this hand is quicker than the eye
business-but believe l have several
men in this bureau who have me
beaten at it.
"One of our men who is pretty
handy with his fingers was trying to
land gang of counterfeiters and sue
ceeded in establishing friendly rela-
tons with the bunch. Every new
conner is naturally looked upon with
suspicion until he commits some overt
act, and in this instance the gang de-
termined to have a showdown. In
floating bad money each man is given
so much of it and keeps half of the
good money he gets hold of, turning
the remainder in to the makers. The
operator was given a lot of one-dollar
limitations and told to get rid of them.
another of the gang going along to see
that he made good. Each time he en-
tered store to make a small pur.
chase, as the real crook thought, he
came out with the proper change.
But for some reason his companion
was not satisfied and adopted the pol
icy of entering the place with him,
watching him closely as he bought.
1t was pretty trying situation, but
our man managed to do the sleight-
of-hand trick so we'll that good Amer
lean dollars found their way to the
cash drawer, while the 'phony' ones
disappeared somewhere on his per-
son, as evidence against the count
erfeiters.
"Shadowing and roping," said Chief
Wilkie, may seem mighty easy to an
outsider; this thing of merely follow
ing a man, but any one who has ever
turned his hand seriously to it will
tell different story. It's hardly put
ting it too strongly to say that it is
an art in itself.
"Roping is accompanied by more
danger than shadowing. The term
embraces worming oneself into the ac-
quaintance of a gang for the purpose
of effecting arrests. Of course mans
life isn't worth much if he's caught
at such a game and has the goods on
those whose confidence he has won.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
SO Close Was the Machinery.

day, and if the weary pedestrian is
not supplied with ball-bearing neck
his chance of getting home is null and
void.
AS far as l can figure it out the
safest part of the machine is the chauf-
feur, because he knows which way to
jump.
Oh! how I admire those chauffeurs
who point the machine at you and
dare you to get out of the way
We have no word in the English lam
guage which is brash enough to sit on
a busy barouche and cut loose
That's why we had to reach over
to Paris and pull word out of the
French.
Chauffeur is the word we grabbed,
and l think we ought to give it back
at the first opportunity.
Did you ever notice one of those
particular guys when they try to say
chauffeur?
His mouth looks like hot waffle.
The first careless cart we ever had
in this country was called the Cor
oner's Delight" because the only man
that met it on the road went back
home in sections, and, incidentally, on
shutter.
The motto of the automobile is:
Bump others, or they will bump
you!"
And the automobile face! Can you
tie it?
The automobile face is caused by
the fact that faces can't ride as fast
as machinery; consequently, the mus
cles between the lips and the mouth
become overturned and lose their cum
ming.
If you wish to buy an automobile for
yourself and become chauffeur, do
so, Bunch, and Peaches and will miss
your boyish laughter about the house,
and we will sit by the fireside in the
twilight and talk about what you
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18

no one had been in the room where
The cloth was waved. No one had
thrown a marble. The hired men were
at work and the boys were out.
81 said nothing, but on Friday We
discovered beams moving about the
house in a most astonishing fashion.
They were the same sort of beans as
the ones we raised and had been laid
out on the attic floor to dry. OF
course, beans will sometimes dry in
the pods, and on a hot day will split
open and bounce around, but I never
saw any beans that could come down
the attic stairs, move around the room,
cut square corners and fall on the
floor. There was bean in the north
east room that came out of the north
wall, sailed across the room, cut
around the sewing machine and after
making several corners fell on the
floor Naturally we began to get nerv-
GUS when marbles that the boys had
not touched for months began to
move about the house. They would
come in at door, move across the
room and stop. We made certain that
it was not the work of the boys be-
cause these things happened when the
boys were out of the house.
For example, several old rusty keys
that had been lost for years came
bounding down the stairs from the at
tic into the rooms upstairs and were
picked up. I made sure no one was
in the attic. have heard some of
our visitors account for the thing by
electricity. We have telephone, and
the wire runs half around the house
and in at the dining room window. But
1 have never heard that telephone
wire would do this thing"
One peculiar thing about the phe-
nomena is the queer action of Tige,
the watch dog, when anything hap
pens. He capers about the yard, show
ing no supernatural fear or agitation
but every indication of joy. The old
house has many rats and squirrels live
in the roof, but even they could not
do some of the things that have hap
pened. There are swallows in the
chimney, but they never come into
the attic. Altogether it is a most re-
markable daylight mystery.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
A Timely Air,

During one of the political tours OF
Mr.. Cleveland, in which he was ac-
companied by Secretary Olney, he ar
rived during severe storm at a town
in which he was to speak. AS he en-
tered the carriage with his friends
and was driven from the station the
rain changed to hail, and immense
stones battered and ratified against
the vehicle A brass band, rather de-
moralized by the storm, stuck bravely
to it's post and played.
'"That is the most realistic music I
have ever heard" remarked the presi-
dent.
what are they playing?" asked the
secretary of state.
"'Hail to the Chief'-with real hail"
reioined Mr. Cleveland.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
"THE PALE GIRL"
Did Not Know Coffee Was the Cause.

In cold weather some people think
a cup of hot coffee good to help keep
warm. So it is-for short time but
the g-caffeine-acts on the heart
to weaken the circulation and the re-
action is to cause more chilliness.
There is hot wholesome drink
which Oak. girl found after time,
makes the blood warm and the heart
strong.
She says:
Having lived for five years in N.
OAK, have used considerable coffee
owing to the cold climate. AS re-
suit I had a dull headache regularly,
suffered from indigestion, and had no
life in me.
81 was known as the pale girl and
people thought I was just weakly.
After a time I had heart trouble and
became very nervous, never knew
what it was to be real well. Took med
ieine but it never seemed to do any
good.
"Since being married my husband
and I both have thought coffee was
harming us and we would quit, only to
begin again, although we felt it was
the same as poison to us.
Then we got some Postum. Well.
the effect was really wonderful. My
complexion is clear now, headache
gone, and 1 have a great deal Of en-
ergy l had never known while drink
ing coffee.
81 haven't been troubled with indI-
gestion since using Postum, am not
nervous, and need no medicine. We
have a little girl and boy who both
love Postum and thrive on it and
Grape-Nuts."
There's a Reason"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read, The Road to Well
ville," in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full Of human
interest.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
Bull Attacks Train, DeraiIs Car.

Kingston, N. Y.-When an express
train on the Ulster & Delaware rail.
road approached bull standing on
the tracks the animal lowered his
shaggy head and charged.
The impact with the cowcatchei
threw the bull to the top of the en-
bankment, but the animal struggled
back to the tracks to continue the
battle, and fell under the parlor car,
derailing it. The train was quickly
stopped and no one was injured.
The passengers assisted the train
crew in disengaging remnants of the
carcass from the running gear and
the train proceeded after an hours de-
lay on its way toward New York.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
SPO0KY ACTIONS
PUZZLE FARMER
BEANS AND OTHER SMALL AR,
TIcLES FLY AND MOVE ABOUT
IN BROAD DAYLIGHT.
MARBLES ROLL ALONG FLOOR
Watch Dog Seems to Be Elated by
Queer Happenings Which None
Can Solve-Neighbors In.
terested in Case.

Groton, Conn.-This town is excited
indeed over the amazing happenings
at the fine old farm of William Hemp
stead, mile east of New London
Visitors have been going out in auto
mobiles and carriages to study the
mystery.
Small articles, such as beans, spools
Of thread, knives, marbles, etc.. have
been moving about the house in broad
daylight. Although the house is next
to the old Knowles family cemetery
the phenomena do not seem to be of
the ghost or spook variety. The mar
ifestations never take place at night
The house was built in the long ago
and is two stories high, roomy, in good
condition and happily situated.
The family consists of Mr. Hemp
stead, refined and practical old gen.
tleman of 70-odd years. He does not
believe in spooks. His wife has no
superstitions. They have been married
80 years, and have lived in the old
manse since their wedding. Having
no children they adopted Is years ago
the young son of Mrs. Hempsteads
sister, frankie Gardner, and gave him
their name. The boy has a brother
Charles, who is about his own age.
There is employed on the farm Gilbert
Edwards, lad of Sc, son of neigh
Dor, and three hired men.
when these strange things first be-
can TO haDnen - said Fir HemnStead
the other day, Il said pothing because
| didn't want any one 20 think that
was deluded l was il the cornfield
one day when marble such as the
boys play with about the house fell
at my feet. Looking toward the house
saw that screen in the second story
had been pushed aside and a cloth
was being waved from the window.
Going into the house | found that
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
Had Poor Opinion of DR.. Hall.

Rev. DR.. Charles F. Aked's expert
ence with would-be convert which he
related to his congregation in New
York bears close resemblance to an oc.
currence which the late Rev. DR.. John
Hall spoke of several years before his
death. A man came to him and said
that he had resolved to renounce his
faith and to devote the rest of his life
to the conversion of the Jews, although
all his friends were of that persuasion.
He told of the eagerness of hundreds
to follow him and wanted to have the
management of mission, if the
church would pay the expense of main
tanning it. DR.. Hall said he would
consider the matter, made inquiry as
to the mans character and when he
called for an answer declined the offer
with thanks. The man seemed to be
disappointed, used disrespectful Ian
guage and said to the Scotch maid
who showed him to the door: Hes a
hard man to do business with"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
Dash Up Behind the Enemy.

sight such as these eyes of mine never
before beheld.
If the fire from her eyes had ever
reached the kerosene-holy smoke!
On the level, Bunch, if there was
any place in our house which Peaches
didn't sprinkle with kerosene it must
have been few of my collars and
cuffs which hadn't come from the
laundry yet.
For two days, Bunch, it rained kero,
sene in our household.
For breakfast the toast was scented
with kerosene, and it floated like a
rainbow on top of the cuffee.
For luncheon the Goldfish cakes be-
haved like leaky lamp, and the
shredded onions lost all their cour-
age and wanted to leave the room.
For dinner the corn beef looked
like a roast on John d. Rockefeller.
and the delicate blossoms of the sauer-
kraut were all shriveled up, and
tasted like the Ohio river near Park.
ersburg.
In the meantime, Bunch, the mosqui.
toes are having the time of their lives.
They thought we were giving a
Mardi Gras for their benefit, so they
sent out invitations to all their friends,
with the result that our little family
lost more blood than is spilled in a
South American revolution.
Peaches has abandoned the kero-
sene idea, and is now fumigating the
house with something which falls on
the insulted nose like hard slap on
the face, so I am writing this letter
out in the barn.
My theory about the mosquito is
that he has humanity stung, going
and coming.
Yours done in oil, JOHN.
lCopYright 1908. by G. w. Dillingham; Co }
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
RICH MAN IS PREY FOR ANTS.
Falls III in Road, and Hundreds Pass,
ignoring His Appeal.

Los Angeles, Cal.-Burton R. Jarvis,
a wealthy contractor of Terre Haute,
Ind, died at the county hospital the
other day as the result of lying help
less under a tree near the Cawston
ostrich farm, surrounded by houses
and with people passing frequently,
for nearly three days, while red ants
fed upon his body. :
Jarvis was afflicted with tubercu-
losis, which had caused him to come
to California. He had a room at
the Cragburn hotel, leaving there to
visit the ostrich farm. When he came
to the spot where he was found he
tainted and remained there for two
days. Because of the exposure, pneu-
monia attacked his weak lungs, and
though all that could be done for him
when he was taken to the hospital
was done, he could not survive. He
told of trying to attract passers by,
who evidently thought him drunk, as
they paid no attention. Boys bought
him food with money he gave them,
and finally told a woman who lived
near by about him.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
Thrift In Children.

Some day the plan of providing for
children by starting bank account
for each baby at birth and adding to
it on each birthday will become gener-
al. and there will be hope of foster
ing thrift in growing children. The
possession of bank book which they
cannot wholly own till legally free
from the guidance of parents is often
a matter of pride which prompts saw
ing. Everybody knows how hard it is
to save the first hundred dollars, and
how much the difficulty lessons with
every addition to that.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
COWBOY CARRIES OFF
GIRL CLAD IN NIGHTIE
WESTERN ADMIRER RIDES AWAY
WITH FIFTEEN-YEAR-OLD MISS
ON HIS HORSE.

Hespeg, Mont.-The cowboy admirer
of Freda Bauer, 15 years old, fright
ener her father with revolver under
pretense of robbing him, took the girl,
clad in her nightgown, on horse with
him, and galloped with her cross coun-
try through. the sage brush to Laurel,
village eight miles from his home
John Bauer, the girls father, says
he recognized behind the huge false
mustache which the bandit" wore
Ernest Hunston, a young cowboy who
has often called on Miss Bauer Of
late.
Two men rode up to the Bauer home
a few nights ago, and. calling Bauer
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
HIS SUNDAY SUIT

it, going to chapel and all. There's a
many as would have stopped at home,
but he wasn't that sort, the old man
wasn't. tits the garments of our
souls as matters" he'd say. But fer all
that, he was ashamed to wear his
weekday ones. He couldn't never get
used to it.
His proper suit was made by an
Irish tailor who came over to these
parts in a cattle-boat, and stayed a
month or two, earning what he could
all round about Twenty-nine years
they'd lasted him, and they'd have
seen him through to the end. Yes,
he was always good dresser, and
pretty careful with his things, too"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
Horse Saves Rider from Cloudburst

Horse Saves Rider from Cloudburst.
Cripple Creek, Col.-That a horse
has the instincts of impending danger
was demonstrated the other afternoon
when an animal belonging to M. d.
Swisher, county road overseer, refused
to act on the bit, ran up the noun
tain side and saved its rider from
death in a cloudburst.
Swisher was riding along Box can
yon, a narrow gulch, when the horse
turned from the road, and paying no
attention to the rider, ran up the
mountain side and stopped on ledge
20 feet above. Swisher was. mystified
until he saw water about eight feet
deep rushing down the canyon, tear
ing up bushes and upending every
thing movable. The water was from a
cloudburst about half mile further
up the gulch, and the horse had heard
the noise of the rushing water before
the rider.
A half mile of the RoX canyon road
leading to Florissant was washed out
and bridges carried away. Swisher
remained on the mountain side for an
hour before he considered it safe to
re-enter the canyon.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
woman,s Suspicious Reticence.

Are women beginning to talk less
in the hope of thus better pleasing
men? If so, while commencing the
motive, we would unhesitatingly ques-
ton the method. The mere music OF
their voices as contrasted with the
raucous male note easily counterbal-
ances any possible disparity in the
ideas expressed. Upon all grounds We
cry out for loosening of the delicate
tongues now so strangely and so sus
piciously stille6.-North American Re
view.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18

these years Of pain 1 was despairing
Of ever being cured when Doan's Kid
ney Pills came to my notice and their
use brought quick relief and a perma-
nent cure. l am very grateful"
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18

than ten years l was
in misery with back
ache. The simplest
homework comp lete1y
exhausted me. / had
no strength or ambI-
ton, was nervous and
suffered headache and
dizzy spells. After
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18
The Only WAY.

A man who wanted to be known
for his taking ways must first learn to
take advice and joke.-Detroit Free
Press.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18

The door through which our praises
flow determines the size of the bless.
ings that inward may go.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-09-18

Nature usually makes the male the
more striking in appearance, but wo
men and the fashions speedily make
up for that.