Evening journal., 1908-06-05
Personal and Pertinent

Otto F.. schaar. president a club Of New York wait
ers said the other day of parsimonious young man;
lie Resembles chap they tell about IN Bucks county
This chan lhed alone with his father one the old
mans death he would inherit the farm.
wei, fnauy the old man took sick. His end drew
The up with him night or two expecting
hir TO pass away; but he fingered
on the attn or sixth night the SON. instead Of sitting
bed, and went off TO his with the caution:
when el that it is all with you father,
don't forget to blow out the lamp Washington Star
It his first Sunday school and he sat in the infants
department eagery watching the superintendent illus
the lesson onthe board The superintendent
path to heaven straight ne-and started the figure
o. man On H. Gradually the man became larger and
larger and ney when he arrived at the gate of heaven
he could not in.
The superintendent turned to his small audience and
in tragca and sorrowful tone said: You he is
puded up with sin that he cannot enter in"
TRY him a.deways, mister try him sideways" che
small shrl voice from the infants department-Phu-
adelphia Ledger.
An Ohio lawyer tells Of a client Of his-a German
farmer, working plain blunt man who lost his
wife not The lawyer had sought him to
his sympathy but to his CONSERVATION the Teuton
laconicaily obst ed.
you don't tell mel" exclaimed the legal light "vhy
IL has been but week or two since you buried
Dots So my trent; but she is as dead as ener sh,
viii be"-Lippncotts
The recent curious boycott Of the press Berlin
Parliament has precedent in the mother of Pariamenls
the British House of Commons The Grober in
was no less that the late Daniel O'Connel He
condemned III inaccuracy Of the parliamentary reports
hut he forgot TO make allowance for difficulties
and the buzz intervening conversation He charged
the reporters with the malicious suppression his
speeches. aud the gallery then report him at all
Dan stormed and Numbered vain moving the
rlng.eaders be Brought 10 the bar of the Fna,
he apclogized and all we'll Lord Lyttleon In 1871,
ell fou; Of the in the way and the Lord
Montoage had his name omitted from London newspaper
reports for two years because he said something the
reporters Gid not like.-Harper's Weekly.
'N you please drive the track?" asked the motor
o OF
Thank you ever so much" added the motorman with
a smile.
You're very welcome" responded the truck driver
but you must pardon my seeming carelessness had
no idea your car was so near"-Fhiladelphia Ledger
Bah Iove I'm going into business. Made a begin.
ming already don't ye know"
"Hows that2T
Ordered ny tailor make business suit"-Louis,
Vile Cou-.er journal.
I tell you. sir. kissing the hand that smites you is
nothing TO what saw in the hotel this morning
What was that?'
The porter backing the boots that had kicked him
last nisht"-London Telegraph.
Railroading the South not so very long ago was at
tended with considerable uncertainty ana whenever air
he1y arose the habit Of rushins
out &c ascertain the on such occasion when
the train mad ctme TO an unusually sudden ston afer
repeated warnings from the whistle the passengers found
the train bending above the apparently eess form
old farmer He had been struck bv the engine and
the crowd gathered sympatheucslly about him.
suddenly the victim, who had bee unconscious opened
his A sympathetic silence met his gaze as he
situation.
Am hurtr he said feebly. They told him that on.
leg would have TO come or fortunately believed that
Vtherwlse he was all right For several moments he
studied the remaining sound limb and then turned 10
the engineer.
Well stranger. he said. 1T might have been worse Il
is the one with the rheumatiz"-Youth's Companion.
An Ensiish visitor to carnouste summer was one
Gay starting match when his caddie asked TO see hs
cigarette case srd when II handed coolly put
II 10 MS poekel The visitor expostulated The caddie
responded; lts richt sir I'll gle il back 10 ye after
hauf
dinna ;'ean ye TO smoke tn ye winl Gang on. IL
take care a richt"-Bellman