The Birmingham age-herald. [volume] (Birmingham, Ala.) 1902-1950, 1908-09-20
Literary Lights and Shadobs
BY S. MAYS BALL.

MY Life and My Lectures, by Lamar
Fontalne, c. E., Phi. d. CNeale Pub
fishing Coz
Major Lamar Fontaine of the Confede-
rate and many other armies-any army
he got a chance at to fight in-is man
of remarkable experiences. His life story,
to-wit: MY Life and My Lectures,
reads like the pages of some enchanted
romance. Truth to tell, most of the book
must be nothing but romance, for 1t is
difficult to believe that all the expert
ences described by Major Fontaine as
happening to himself could, under any
circumstances, ever happen to any one
man. In accepting Major Fontaine 5
book too seriously, as did the Literary
Digest and a few other New York pa
pers of note, one is likely to make great
mistake. AS the good major has intimat-
ed that his thoughts are now far from
fighting and killing people before-break-
fast-to-g et-up-an- appetite, this reviewer
is going to risk the statement, namely,
that no book since Baron Munchausens
Tales has come within thousand miles
of MY Life and My Lectures" The
reader can interpret that statement as
he sees fit. If Major Fontaine has a sud
den "call to the Wild and demands per-
sonal satisfaction, the reader VIII please
note that this reviewer never said IT,
Mai. Lamar F ontaine was born in a
tent on Laberde Plains, which is now
part of Washington county, Tex, on Oc-
tober TO- 1929 His early training was In
the hands of a learned old Polish exile,
a German baron who was banished from
Europe for the part he took in the 70
lish rebellion. When Fontaine was III
years old, he was captured by the Co
manche Indians and lived with them for
nearly five years. After his escape from
the Indians, according to his own story,
Fontaine went to sea, boy of 10, eager
for life" Then again, according to the
majors story he knocked about the
world-in China, Egypt, India, Palestine
South America; he sailed as far north as
the 18th parallel and as far south as the
18th. He crossed the desert of Sahara
on camel back, from Fee to the Valley OF
the Nile, then down the Nile to the Del
ia: he traversed $50 miles of the Great
Chinese wall (and as one reads along FUR
Their in this review, he will wonder that
the major left any of the wall standing)
he explored the Amazon (the river not
the tribe) with Lieutenant Herndon ana
the Holy Land with Lieutenant Lynch.
At an odd moment or two, the major
deciding that the Great Andean Plateau
from Cuzco to the foot of Lake Titicaca
needed surveying, he went ahead and did
it: later he was a member of Prince
Gortsehokoff's Kiosk Cossack bodyguard
in the siege of Sebastopol during the
Crimean war. In 1861, at the age OF 81,
Fontaine returned to America and en-
listed in Company A of the 10th Missis-
sippi Infantry, C. S. A, and later he
belonged to Company K, 18th MISSISSIPPI
Infantry, C. S. A, and Company l or the
End Virginia Cavalry. Major Fontaine
was wounded only sixty-seven times dur
ing the war, 67-count em-67. and one
time he lay in an iron frame suspended
from the ceiling of his room for 81 days
mot three weeks,) so that his broken
bones might knit and heal. Major Fon-
tame was one of the Immortal 60O Nor
ris Island Prisoners" the survivors of
65 days of rotten corn meal and pickles
and he was considered the major says SO
himself) the best marksman in the army
of Northern Virginia The major was a
captive, hunter, explorer and soldier and
from his book we can see that under ev-
cry sun, in every cline, among red
men, brown men and yellow men in the
Torrid zone or in the Frigid. well or
wounded, fed or starved, captive or free,
Lamar Fontaine was always an observ-
er, a thinker, student of men (and some
women and manners and governments.
In other words, in the language of tho
street, the major has never been asleep
at the switch, on the contrary.
The most interesting portion of Major
Fontaine's book to southerners will be, OF
course> that part dealing with the Civil
War. The major was a great marksman,
not doubt about that-and how he did
delight in killing Yankees-but of that
more anon.
When the major entered the southern
army no doubt he had some qualms to
killing his enemies, but we read on page
Sc of his book how he lost the aforesaid
qualms. A friend of his had been killed
on picket duty along the Potomac river,
in treacherous way too, so the major
made a solemn compact with himself that
he "would never again trust to the prom
ises of any Yankee under any circum-
stances How well 1 kept my oath of
vengeance l let the annals of my country
sil Sufficient to say that when l
glanced along the barrel of my rifle and
touched the trigger it was with prayer
and the bullet winged its flight to the
heart of my enemy with the thought of
my dead friend to guide 1T Never did l
let an opportunity to send one to his
long home escape me. / felt friendish
delight in shooting them" No wonder
the Literary Digest and other northern
papers do not enthuse over the major
book. 1t was while in that frame of
mind that Major Fontaine wrote the YER
SEES to the memory of his murdered friend
"who sleeps in lonely grave far from
the home of his loved ones"-ths poem
we all know-had it beaten into us at
school, to-wit: "Al quiet along the Po-
tomac tonight, they say except here and
there a stray picket Is shot and SO on.
It didn't take long for the major to get
ready for his bloody resolve. Pretty soon
after his friends death a Yankee officer,
through mistake, came up to where Fon-
tame and some Confederates were and
gave the major some back-talk. The ma
jor told the Federal officer that the best
thing that officer could do was to vam-
Dose, but the Yankee didn't see 1t that
way so Fontaine threatened to kill the
Yank; Shoot you d rebel said the
Yankee. To use the majors own words,
he did not hesitate, but killed him there
and then and having buried him (tho ma
ior was very nice about burying his VIC
tins all during the war-whenever he
had time to do it without danger to him
self the major put this notice on the
grave
"a Yankee host a mighty band,
Came down to take our Southern land,
But this low, barren spot
Was all that this id Yankee got.
The major truth to tell had literally
an obcession about killing Yankees. Why,
once when he had letter from his
sweetheart throwing him down, 1t non
plussed the major for the nonce-only
for the nonce, however, for he Immediate
ly penned some poetry to send the I'M
faithful lass and went out and killed
bunch of Yankees; he never bothered
after that on account of his sweethearts
cruelty Whenever the major was wor-
ried about any, little thing. when things
went wrong, no matter how or when, the
major had only to go out and kill
~ Is eyInn ie,