Morris tribune. [volume] (Morris, Minn.) 1880-2000, 1908-01-11
MIRANDY's RESOLUTIONS.
She Finds Turning Of New Leaf :
ThankVess Task.

| tIahNbSSS oSN'
"Now, you know remarked Miriam
: dy, Il amt never been one of desc
outbreakin' sinners OATS got faults dat
ev'ybody can see needs reformin' in
de jail an dat ought to turn over as
many pages as in de dictionary at New
Years.
"Nawsir. Is a pretty good woman,
an eff ev'ybody was lax me dey sho'ly
would be heaven or earth. Still dere
is times. when I 'spiciOns dat | is got
some weaknesses. So OATS huccom
got mixed up wild dat New Years reso-
| luton, for l made up my mind dat
was gwine to turn over a new leaf an
speak nothin but de truth an be gen
| tie an lovin' an tender an forbearin'
| to Ike an de chillen."
"An' how did it wuk out?''
"De ve'y fust dash out of de box hit
got me into trouble. You know ole
Sis Sairy Giggins, Whut amt got but
one tooth in her head an is most bent
double wild re rheumatiz an dat has
got wrinkles in her cheeks dat looks
lax de plowed ground after black
frost? Well, Sis Sairy come to see me
dyked up in flower bonnet an red
frock lax gal Of sixteen. an she axed
me how she looked.
Huh says I, a-'memberin' my New
Years resolution to speak de troof.
you look lax you are mo- fittin' for de
shroud dan for all dat picnic gear an.
eff you believe me, Sis Sairy go away
an tell dat suttenly is de mos lax a
cat of any woman she ever seed an
dat is dat jealous Of her good looks
an her good clothes dat is done lost
my manners.
can den when Sis Hannah Jane
Simpkins axes me whit I thought OF
her little Thomas Jefferson an
'sponds dat he is de skinniest child
ever see an dat he don't look to me lax
he's got real good sense an dat de
hand of de Lord suttenly was laid
heavy on her, infiictin' her wild such
an ornery brat she gifts so mad at me
for tellin' her de troof dat she don't
never speak to me sence.
"Yassir, l didn't stick to dat resOlu-
ton to speak de troof but TO- days, but
I had to move out of de neighborhood,
for a kind CT GOODNESS done spring up
between me an all my friends. Vas
sir, l specks hits mighty fine an no
BILE never to tell lie, but hit will leave
you mighty lonesome.
can | didn't come out any better
wild Ike. At fust he walked mighty
easy, but when hit kinder soaked In
on him dat l was gwine to git up in
de middle Of de night an let him in
when he couldn't find de keyhole for
himself an dat warn't gwine to say
one word. but was gwine to git up in
de mornin' an battle his achin' brow
an bring him hot coffee-why, whut
do you think happened along of dat
New Years resolution?
like token to stayin out ev'y night.
an seen dat de only way to save dat
niger from a drunkard's grave was
to turn back. de page an go back. to
fust principles of keepin' him so skeer-
ed of me dat he was afraid not tc
come home wild de chickens.
AN it was de same. way wild de
chillen De minute dey found out dat
I made a New Years resolution to be
kind an lovin an patient instead of
takin' de bed Stat to 'em dey got dat
outdacious dat dere wasn't no Twin
in de house wild EN-. an eff | hadn't
busted dat good resolve dey would all
have landed in de Gala bose.
Oats de reason you don't see me
standin' up to be counted when dey
calls for dem whut's gwine to turn
over new pages rs done been mixed
up wild de New Years resolution one
time, an, got my fill."-Pittsburg Dis
patch