davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-08-28
The New Catalog of Lyon & HeaIy
Pianos.

This handsome book, which is just off
the press, gives illustrations and net
prices of the four new designs of Lyon &
Healy upright pianos that are creating
such stir In musical circles.
1t offers proofs for every claim made,
and it differs from other piano catalogs
in many other ways. The Lyon & Healy
Piano leads all others as the popular
home piano of America. It is preferred
by good judges of tone and also by all
long headed purchasers who realize that
should they ever want to sell their
piano again they coald more easily sell
Lyon & Healy piano than any other
make.
Drop postal for this catalog to Lyon
& Healy, " Adams street, Chicago.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-08-28
STATE OF OHIO, CITY OF TOLEDO

LUCAS COUNTY.
Frank j. Cheney makes oath that he
is the senior partner of the firm of F.J
Cheney & Co., doing business in the city
of Toledo, county and state aforesaid.
and that said firm will pay the sum of
One Hundred Dollars for each and every
case of catarrh that cannot be cured by
the use of Halls Catarrh Cure.
FRANK J. CHENEY,
Sworn to before me and subscribed in
my presence. this 9th day of December,
A. D., 1896.
-, A. w. GLEASON,
49, Notary Public.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally
and acts directly on the blood and nue.
GUS surfaces of the system. Send for
testimonials, free. F. J. Cheney & Co,
Sold by druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-08-28

mencement of the fall term. The new
furnace and ventilating system has been
installed as required by law and on Mon
day the Society of Willing Workers met
there and completed the thorough clean
ing of the building. Miss Strauss of AL
bion Prairie has been engaged to teach
there the ensuing year.
Mrs L j Green received a message
from Harrington, Mich, telling the sad
news of the sudden death of her father,
Mr. Beeman. After visiting here in the
spring he went on to New York state to
spend the summer among relatives and
was on his way home again-at sisters
when death claimed him. His body
will be sent to Orleans, Neb, his home,
and inferred by the side of his wife.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-08-28
SPURIOUS PoIitenesS.

"Politeness," observes the Philoso-
pher of Folly, lis very often base
imitation The man who gets UP to
give a lady his seat in a crowded car
is usually the man who has to get off
at the next street"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
YOUTHFUL MIND IN DISTRESS.
Awful Possibility That Loomed Before
Six-Year-Old Jackie.

Six-year-old Jackie's mother be-
lieved that absolute truthfulneSs was
the only rock on which to build that
youthful gentleman's character, and
the consistent working out Of this
principle did away, of course, with be-
lief in all such things as fairies, Santa
Claus, and other illusions dear to
childish hearts, and they became in
stead ''make-believe" games, Santa
Class in particular being pet Joke"
between his mother and himself.
Jackie came in from play one after
noon much excited and concerned.
Mother, Jimmie Norton believes
there is really and truly Santa
Claus. He says he is sure that Santa
Claus does come down the chimney.
He wouldn't believe me at all when
told him it was just a joke" with
rising anxiety.
Jackies mother was somewhat non
plused. We'll, son." she temporized
perhaps Jimmies mother will tell
him the joke some time soon. and
then"
"Oh, l hope she will" broke in
Jackie, forgetting his manners in his
earnestness, because. you know, if
she don't, when Jimmie has little boys
of his own they won't ever get any
Christmas presents"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Earnl NOfeS.

Sheep should not be fed ensilage ex-
cept in small quantities.
1t is said that barley furnishes as
much nutriment as the same weight of
oats.
Don't overcrowd the chickens. Win
ter only as many as you can comfort
ably.
Clean dirty eggs with a wooden rag
slightly moistened in water; never
wash them.
A teaspoonful of chloride Of lime in
wind collie in horses.
The idea Of perfect comfort should
predominant in every building that is
constructed for the hogs.
The failures that we make, if wisely
pondered and wisely used, may guide
us to the success we long to achieve.
Farmers are a power in the land. but
it Is only as they stand together on
questions that affect their welfare that
this holds true.
Fourteen million bushels of wheat
We're exported through Puget sound
ports last year and 100000 through
Portland, Ore. New York exported
20,OOO,OOO Galveston 100000 and New
Orleans 100000 bushels.
In Holland healthy paupers are set
to work at farming. For this purpose
the government has six model farms,
and on these a man who fails TO sun-
port himself at another calling is
taught the principles of farming. He
is then allowed to rent small piece
of land at a very low figure and Is
compelled to till 1t and support him
self.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31

Fodder caB be made much more pal
atable by moistening the mass with
live steam. A barrel or hogshead with
a little steam pipe run from a small
feed cooker will do for one to half a
dozen head Of cattle, but for feeding
on a large scale the following plans
will show how to build cooker OF
sufficient capacity:
The shed should be only large enough
to house the steamer. There Is a small
door in the end next to the fire-boX
beside the boiler.
The bins on the sides should be large
enough to steam an ample supply for
each days feeding. The bin Is filed
one day before using and steamed thor
oughly, but not enough to make it sog-
gy. 1t should be allowed to cool and
then fed the next day.
The bin should be provided with
hinged lids. The steam pipes are run
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31

combined appraisal of wheat and pota-
toes. The combined value of dairy
products, eggs and poultry equals the
value of the corn crop.
The 100000 farms produce gross
output of $S,5O0OO0,0OO, or an average
of $l.416 annually. This is an aver
age gross income per farm Of Sis per
month. Even the 10000 New England
farms are credited with an annual out
put of $2OO,OOO,0OO, or an average Of
S1,052 per farm. While there Is no
magical transition from poverty to
wealth in agriculture, there are such
liberal returns from the soil and such
attractive profits for farm produce that
farmers as professional class lead
all industries in stable prosperity.
Commercial activity or Industrial de-
preston do not materially affect the
consumption of farm commodities
GoOdal's Farmer.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Farm Industry PrOspers.

No industry has equaled the pros
perity OF agriculture the past decade.
Scientific methods Of farming and i'm
proved live stock have greatly increased
the revenue Of the farms In all parts
of the country. The land has been
cultivated to yield increased crops, and
prices have ruled uniformly high and
stable. While other industries feel the
effects of the financial depression, the
soil continues to yield bountiful har-
vests and values hold firm in contrast
with depressed business activities. The
government estimates that the value
OF the agricultural products Of 1908
will total the enormous sum of $S,5OO,-
100000.
Farmers have invested approximately
In agriculture $25,0O0OOO,OOO, which
yields a gross income Of 80 per cent
on the investment, according to the es-
innate Of the value Of this seasons
output In some localities where farm
lands are cheap the gross return is up-
ward Of 100 per cent on the investment,
and farmers are able to pay for their
land with n single crop. 1t is estl-
mated that there are 100000 farms in
the United States that are putting on
the market annually an output valued
at $S,5OO,OOO,OOO. 1t is the leading In
dustry Of the country, and its pros.
perity has had an ameliorating effect
on the late financial panic. The farm
ers are the only representatives Of an
industry who are not materially af-
fected by the current dull times.
Live stock husbandry is becoming
more paramount in agricultural oper-
ations. The assessed valuation of the
horses, mules. cattle, sheep and hogs
In the United States now totals 81 ,331,-
10000. Dairy products now equal the
combined value of wheat and oats. The
value Of eggs and poultry equals the
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
A Holiday Suggestion.

The best Gift is not always the one
that costs the most money. lis the
thing that strikes a need. that's appro-
pirate and appeals to good taste that
makes the bggest hit. For a woman
of domestic taste here's happy
thought:
A new book of cxceotional recipes
by Mrs. Janet Mckenzie Hill, of the
Boston COOKING school has inst an
peared, under the title The Cooks
Book" 1t is A selection of so Of the
choicest creations Of this eminent au-
tb0ritv Tho idea ic to Draca,,4 -,
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
JONES PUT UP A SUBSTITUTE.
And incidentally Got Reputation as
After-Dinner Speaker.

III there Is one thing | hate" re-
marked Mr.. Jones, ut is after-dinner
speeches. Well, once / found myself
at big banquet, where | knew very
Few OF those present. To my amaze,
ment and horror, toward the end Of
the festivities, the toastmaster fixed
his eyes upon me.
We have with us tonight |
heard the old, hated formula roll out
unctuously from his lips-and then
my own name-'Mr Jones, the well
known etc.
The toastmaster concluded but /
made no move to get on my feet.
felt paralyzed; my tongue was seeking
TO climb through the roof of my mouth.
And then the guests, from all sides,
began yelling: Yes, Jones, Jones!-
which is Jones?-where is Jones"
"A brilliant idea came to ne. Sit
ting close beside me was little man
who dearly loved speechifying. Like
flash | jumped to my feet. Jones?
Why, here's jones'! | cried, and
clapped the little Demosthenes on the
shoulder. Then | yanked him to his
feet, murmuring in an ominous soto
voce: Don't give me away; speak
nown
He spoke And, in the guise of
myself, he made most successful
little Grafton. There was loud ap-
plause and much shouting Of What's
the matter with Jones? He's all
right
LAS for me, slipped wine and gradu-
ally recovered from the nervous shock
occasioned by my narrow escape from
haino aloouent
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
John Wouldn't be There.

II Gamma leave We thus, Nancy"
good old Scotchman walled. "Ye're too
aulCI TO work an ye couIdna' live in the
almshOuse. Gin die, ye maun marry
anither man, wha'l keep ye in comfort
in yer aud age
NAY, nay, Andy" answered the good
spouse, 81 could ma wed anither man,
for what wad do wi two husbands in
heaven" Andy pondered long over
this; but suddenly his face frightened.
Il hae it. Nancy" he cried. "Ye
ken auld John Clemens? He's kind
man, but he is na member O. the
Kirk. He likes We, Nancy, an gin ven
marry him, twill be all the same in
hcaven-John's na Christian"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
ledal Amenities.

Several decades ago there lived in
Charleston, w. Va, judge noted for
his boorish manners. A very fnical
lawyer whom he especially disliked
was once trying case before him, and
all the while the barrister spoke the
judge sat with his feet elevated on
the railing in front of him hiding his
face
EXasperated by this the lawyer
queried
May ask which end of your honor
| am to address,"
Whichever you choose" drawled
the Judge
We'll" was the retort, Il suppose
there is as much law in one end as
the other
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31

There is no more beneficial tonic
than good, hearty laughter. 1t in
fiates the lungs and has a magic eff,
feet upon the system. Giggling is not
laughing. and it is a habit that brings
wrinkles and soon spoils even a pret-
ty face. Why not laugh? 1t improves
the appearance and makes one popu-
lar. There is nothing to be glum over
and, If there is, being glum will not
help it. Be happy and bright and
everyone will wish to help you. The
girl who wants to be beautiful must
sleep with fresh air, plenty of it, in
her room, She must go out and revel
in the sunshine. She must find plenty
of laughter in her daily life. That is
the only true way to live and the only
way capable of bringing beauty.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31

the foundations to a depth of twelve
inches with porous material, tamping
well.
On the foundation and at equal dis
tance from either edge erect solid
wall eight inches thick, with one part
parts clean. coarse sand and Ave parts
cinders, broken stone or gravel, leaving
All opening at one end for the steps.
Build up the end walls. so as to form
point in the middle. and high enough
to give the roof sufficient pitch to
shed the rain.
Near the top at each end openings
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
CONCRETE ROOT CELLAR.

for windows should be left. and the
sash fitted and plastered in after the
concrete has set and forms have been
removed.
If concrete roof is desired, forms
should be erected and a roof two and
one-half inches thick laid on. On the
top of this, and before the concrete
is dry, n layer onefourth inch thick
of one part Portland cement and one
part sand should be placed, troweled
when partially set and smoothed with
wooden float. Forms should not be
removed from roof for at least three
weeks
Roof and steps should be reinforced
with woven wire fabric or with steel
rods. The cut shows small cellar
suitable for storing all kinds of roots,
fruit and vegetables.-Farma and Home
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Poetical Epitaph.

The epitaph collector displayed en-
Enthusiastically the photograph of a Sc
we're and stately marble tomb. A new
epitaph,' he said, and one of the best
in my collection. 1t is the epitaph of
body Of Indians slain in battle near
Cooperstown. 1t was composed by a
clergyman, w. w. Lord, and consider
it most poetical."
The epitaph upon the tomb was as
follows:
White Man, Greeting, We, near
whose bones you stand, were Iroquois.
The wide land which is now yours
was ours.
Friendly hands have given back to
us enough for a tomb"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
The Mission

OF those corpusc'os In your blood
that have been called "littIe
soldiers" Is to fight for you
against tho disease germs that
constantly endanger your health.
These corpus cI Ies are made
healthy and strong by the use Of
Hoods SarsapariiIa.
This medicine is a combination of
more than 20 different remedial agents
in proportions and by process known
only to ourselves and it has for thirty
years been constantly proving it's worth.
No substitute, none "just-as-good.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31

THE air in here is something awful"
said the stranger who had never been in
the Chicago postofice building befose.
Whats the reason it smells so bad?"
According to some of our bacteriolog-
ical experts" answered the stamp clerk,
there are 927 7.34. 725 6s1 500. .O07 reasons
for the odor. I've never counted them
myself. but | believe the experts are ap-
proximately correct. ."-Chicago Tribune.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Indisputable.

Two tourists on personally con-
Quoted tour were overheard talking
together in the window of a Florence
hotel overlooking the AIno.
This does not look TO me like Ven
ice" said the first. Il do not see a
single gondola."
No" admitted her companion. but
it must be Venice. You know We were
to be in Venice on Wednesday. -
Harper's Monthly.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
PrORress.

Think" said the optimist, "of how
civilization has progressed since the
terrors Of tie Roman arena"
Yes" answered Sirius Baker. "Now-
adays when we're looking for thrills
we 60 to little parade ground and
short turns. s."-Washington Star.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Cellar for Roots and Vegetabl

Cellar for Roots and Vegetables.
Root cellars are usually built half
below and half above the level of the
ground Excavate sixteen inches below
the desired level Of the floor, and
around the sides build n foundation
twelve inches wide of one part Port
land cement, three parts clean, coarse
sand and six parts broken stone or
gravel Remove form and fill between
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Too Much for Him,

yes said the thin party. I'm go
ing to change my boarding place Those
three-course dinners are too much for
my digestive apparatus"
Three course dinner" exclaimed his
friend "Of what do they consist!'
Napkins, ice water and toothpicks."
was the reply.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
The UnatfainAble.

The fiery orator was predicting that
the bank guaranty scheme would win yet,
in spite of everything.
But can you guarantee that the slot
machine will deliver the stick of chewing
gum" demanded his hearers.
Completely nonplused, he changed the
subj bject-Chicago Tribune.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Science,

"Did you know that if all the salt in
the ocean were gathered into one solid
body it would make cube measuring 500
miles each way?"
mo, but | don't doubt it. Who has
figured it out?"
Nobody. | was just trying to find out
how big a lie you would swallow"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Extrenlen Meet

The little travelling man looked admir-
ingy at the big travelling man.
Gee" he said. You sell Corliss en-
gines, don't YOU"
NO." answered the big man. I'm an
agent for a needle factory. What's your
line? Complexion powders?"
Not exactly said the little man. II
build suspension bridges
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
A Snow pIou

Take two pieces Of plank one foot
wide and four feet long and bolt them
together In the shape - a letter V.
To this arrangement attach a horse
and by standing on 1t to hold 1t down
one can make path four or five feet
vide with very little trouble.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31

Once upon time DeWolf Hopper
met Boston person in that town
whom he had not seen for long period
of dura ton.
Hello! How are you? Where have
you been?" said Hopper in his hearty
way, goving the New York pronuncia-
tion to the word been"
"Please don't say bin but been.'"
pleaded the Boston person. pIaintiveiy
Sorry, but l can't pleaded the big
fellow. Il never had bean in my
mouth in my life, not even in Boston,"
The Bohemian.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
HIS Record.

Tommy Wrott-You told Dora Hope
that you had refused me at least half a
dozen times. What a whopper!
Lotta Guph-It wasn't a whbpper,
either. Don't you remember that you
proposed to me six times last Thursday
evening?
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
In fkn Art Gallery.

Old Lady-IIaven't you got any
more figures in marble?
Attendant-No, madam; these are
all. Is there some particular one you
are looking for?
Old Lady-Yes. want the statue
Of limitations I've heard my husband
talk so much about.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Canning Sweet Potatoes.

The Lindale canning factory has been
running regularly for several weeks,
canning sweet potatoes. This is n new
thing and furnishes market not only
for all the sweet potatoes raised in
the vicinity of Lindale, but carload lots
are being shipped In to supply the can.
nery.-Wills Point (Tex.) Chronicle.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
His Working Capital.

what a striking looking man you have
for a driver of one of your coal wagons"
observed me customer.
Yes" said the dealer 'he used to be
cowboy"
How came he to drift into this kind Of
work?''
Well he said he wanted some job in
which he could use his vocabulary"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31

"A little less noise. Miss Glare, II you
please" said the bookkeeper. "Conversa-
tion isn't necessary when there is work
on hand"
THAT only shows, Mr.. Addemup,"
snapped the typewriter girl, that you've
never read the history Of the tower OF
Babel"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31

from the steamer to the bottom of the
bins, where they are connected with
more pipes to give an equal distribu-
tion of steam.
pierced with one-eighth-inch holes six
inches apart to allow the steam to es-
cape.
TO preserve the bins they should be
lined. bottom, sides, top and lids, with
zinc.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Acrosu the Backyard Fence.

Woman with the Sun Bonnet-If any
body asks me what | know about you l
shall tell 'em the exact truth.
Woman with the Gingham Apron-If
you do. Mag Parkins. as sure as I'm
standin' here III sue you for slander -
Chicago Tribune
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
AccOu for the Size,

"Do you remember that hat you sold
me yesterday afternoon?" said the man
entering the hat store.
very well, SIR" replied the clerk
"Well, when | got home found it
too small for me-
81 suppose you didn't get home until
morning. -Yonkers Statesman.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31

Funny thing about a woman
"What?"
She'll scream at a mouse, vet not
turn a hair over a dressmakers bill
that makes her husbands teeth chat
ter."-Boston Transcript.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
OtherxXihe OhiecIinnnh hle

Algy-Myrtie, what are your objections
to marrying me?
Myrtie-I have only one objection,
Algy. I'd have to live with you.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Antecedeuts. A

Convict Ali lin the penitentiary for
stealing from Truro. Where are
you from?
Convict a. (serving a term for per-
jury)-Im from-er-False Row,
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Needed Exnlnininx.

THAT stocky looking man over there
once killed a man with one punch
What is he-a pugilist or a bar.
tender?"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31

Mani always know when Jack is at
the front door He gives just one little
ring.
Fan-Yes-just like that one on your
finer
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
OUT OF TOWN PEOPLE

should remember tha force organized that WE CAN
DO THEIR ENTIRE CROWN. BRIDGE AND PLATE
WORK IN DAY, If necessary. POSITIVELY PAINLESS
EXTRACTING FREE when plates bridges are ordered
WE REMOVE THE MOST SENSITIVE TEETH AND
ROOTS WITHOUT THE LEAST PAIN NO STUDENTS:
uncertanty-but SPECIALISTS who the most scen.
life and careful work
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
Nh -ElN !::::'!: :;:: f.; +; H:;i i $;:

HOWARD L. BCRTON.-Assayer ar Chemist.
leaqVllle, COLORADO Specimen prices: Gold,
Sver,L adj 81 Gold, Silver, 7jr Gold 5Ja; Zine or
Copper, sl Cyanide tests. Mailing envelopes and
full price list sent on application Control and Um-
pre- work solicited reference: Carbonate Ma
tioual Bank.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
PILES CURED rNs TO DAYS

PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to any
case of Itching, Blind, Bleeding Protrudn9
Piles in to IA days or money refunded. SOC.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-12-31
o, Cheese 1t.

There was a fair maiden named Jen.
Who dreamed she'd been changed to a
hen.
1t wasn't her habit
TO eat a welsh rabbit,
And SHE never did eat one again.