Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-08-09
THE DAILY
The Three Professors.

It used to take Il good deal To sur prise town ill the far west such aS Cheyenne or Dea,lwood One of these towns was surprised at the arrival of Professor Henry Thorn, botanist, Yale college, and ten days later by tho com ing of another professor, who regis tered himself at the same hotel as "Professor Charles Witbeck, Crimino- Ogst, Harvard College For an hour or two his name on the register ex- cited some little comment. That was because those who read it didn't know whether his profession related to claim Jumping or railroad engineering The landlord finally explained that a crim- inologist was fellow who had had to jump out of Texas for shooting a man and had arrived in Dakota to open faro game and make a new start in life. That satisfied public curiosity and accounted for the professor stroll ing around the town day and night. He also took in all the fine points and particulars.
 The two professors under one roof fought shy of each other for couple of days. Professors have their jeal ouses as we'll as dime museum freaks, though greater efforts are made to con. ceal them. At length, however, they introduced themselves and shook hands and began to respect each other. Some professors of botany can't be led to admit that there is anything inter esting in anything but their own spe cial hobby. So with professors e criminology. These two professors were different, however. They de ferred to each other They made ad- missions. They permitted each other to talk without Interruption.
 The botanist held up a half withered violet that he had culled on the prairie and delivered an interesting lecture on it's roots and stem and petals, and the criminolo@ist described the head and face of the criminal with such clear ness that had there been an audience present noae could have failed to se- cure q mental photograph The points he made were, first a slanting fore head; St, onC a head that ran down hill on the back side third the nar- row space between inc eyes; fourth, a bllging over the eyebrows. and. fifth. q cruel expression about the mouth. h addition to pa1ttaularizing these points. hc WAS @ood ~34o@@h to say th8t Professor Thorn '. 3H.t bcas(T T singtc one of tie characteristics UH He coa- trary aY infant ha oHls- to take one look at hi:.l to know t.laA h. was aS gentle and fnRoceAt as5 q wo.4a:l.
 Professor Thorn eui.is...', do ks than return iAe c9,@Hlisa,.:: !1e ret,sYn"I it by saying that al tiaH.ers r-'Hescat- ed human charae tcrs. I,r i3 }nee. the Canadian thistle re"'esr.5ftd 8 chuckle headed mai. the bjirslsAa'' ] man full of envy and iei!9Ns>. - ls-s- weed a weakminded person thN l@i ' hook a conceted ass and SO ot. What typified the character of l'rofr.s,- or Witbecll was the lily. That >' for purity of soul and thought A !::}.. that represented the lilf Wis always subscribing to orphan a@ylums aHa buying up cid horses to turn out te pasture for the rest of thcir lives Just what the professors said of each other when alone is q private matter. The first occasion they had to distrust each other was when they met at night in the vicinity of q clothing store. One of them had been examining the fas- tenings of rear window and the other the fastening of door. Professor Witbecll observed that he thought the study of botany required daylight. and Professor Thorn replied that he failed to see how the study of criminology could be pursued without the aid of lantern. There was a second meeting on a second night, and from thence on the relations between the two great institutions of learning seemel to be strained
 It was not to last long. however One night after the botaniSt had spent a whole hour to effect an entrance to a store by way of a skylght and pho tographers parlors it was to come upon the criminologst, who had got in by door and was just preparing to bore the safe By the aid of two dark lanterns and the English languaSF some very sarcastic remarks were passed as to hypocrisy and false pre- lenses, and then they sensbly agreed to divide the labor and the poodle. They were working with this aim and object in view when a third party crept out from his hiding place and in terfered. He began by handling his gun in a reckless manner and introduc- ing himself as Professor Twister of Co- lumbia college. He had been dis patched to the great plains of the west to gather specimens of the bygone days when alligators thirty feet long and elephants twenty-fou feet high used to paddle up and down the river and