The mirror. (Stillwater, Minn.) 1894-1925, 1908-11-26

1T HAS often occurred to me es to
list what them anty Natur fakirs
would say about speeshus OF rat
tlesnek thet wunst lived in Arizony,
an with some of which wuz pussunly
acquainted. Y'r see Arizpnny Is so
sichywate thet it is 4libul to hev some
mighty pekuleyur things in its do
mains; all of which comes from its
bein' so close to the Republic of Diaz.
In fackt it jist mist bein' in thet repub-
lic by the breath of few Dago sojers.
Now I'm not SO antagonistical to
Mexico es some folks, which is becuz l
don't believe in some scandal0ns in
sinnywashuns promulgated aglnst
them people when General Nheatfield
Scott wuz down thur some years ago
knockin' of the eppytaps and snpursti-
shuns from the moisyments an cassels
left by Pezarro and Maxy Millun an
some of them yuther Burbankized fur
riners. Y'see General Wheatfield Scott
was a great sojer, an like all great So
jers, he he'd hobby, an his hobby wuz
potes, an when he wuz down thur as
afursaid he he'd pote named Ben Hur,
er Thanny Topsis, er Fly Mather, er
emmy way it wuz some of them lyrical
fellers, jist disremember fur surtin
which. But emmy way this pote of
General Scott's gets off thet infamus
all notOriaI quOtashun which hes
cozzed SO much disrespeckful insinny-
washuDs aginst the Mexican seenyurs
an seenyureaters. This quOtashun
which hes prevyusly refurred to, is
about es follows, to-wit: "a country,
where the men er without honor; the
wimmin er without vircheW, an the
flowers or without OdOr." Now thet's
a mighty hard thing to say agirst emmy
country an am right here to refuta-
shun each an every part of them un-
saiubreeus remarks.
In the first place, 1 knows it ter be a
fackt es how the avvurij peehone seem
yur is far too hOnnurbul to do emmy
kinder work; an iC the mejum place,
likewise knows it ter be a fackt, es
how the avvurij seenyureaters from
the peehones' four hundred is so vir-
chewest tibet she wont speak to her
own husband after dark, which lattur
is some fierce. Now in the last place |
simply explains by sayin' es how it wuz
q dyvurshun to leave the Odor out OF
the flowers; which is to say es how
everything else in Mexico hes odOr.
The reasun of this seemin' dygres-
shun from my eriginul assurshuns wuz
to ill you with familyurizashun es to
whur Arizony is sichywate OH the map,
an the menny hardsbips its inhabit-
unts hes he'd to encounter. But to get
back to this peku kuleyur tribe Of rattle
sneks, will first add thet it wuz some
time after the reptillyuE age, SO thet
you wont get the two narrashuns con-
fushund. 10 be more spusitic, would
say thet it wuz the year before Cur
rOnymo invenshuned the f1yin' machine.
Leastwise it wuz about the time the
histuryuns seys es how thet great war
ryur usty make flynn trips down Onter
the unprecedented settlements an Grey
ate runius havic amungst the ambish-
yuns Of the Arizonny Pianeer Clubs.
L wudst add here thet some evul mind
ed pussuns hes insinnywashun tbet thed
reasun Pianeer Clubs or so scurse in
Arizonny is becuz most of the oldest
inhabytunts refrains frum refurrin' to
the date he arrived, fur fear thet some
pussuns might suspishun thet he wuz
conneckted with some felly oneyus
transackshun which he'd occurred 1t
about the same time in some yuther
locality. Leastwise the furmer &C
count is histury, an the lattur account
is nefarryus gossip, all of which is mar
rated to be taken fur what it's wuth.
Now es 1 hes you all putty we'll To-
Gated es to the time, an date an place,
will perceed with my narrashuns.
Al about this time es prevusly ment-
shuned, afursaid, reports begin to come
into Yuba about numurus people dyin'
suddint like, an without emmy prevus
indishpishun. Ginnerally hull fam
lily would be found dead at wunst, an
the unly incriminatin' evydunce would
be by the left side uf thur head bein'