davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
BRIDESMAID HALF
welded At ALTAR.
GIRL AND GROOM NEARLY MADE
MAN AND WIFE BEFORE DIS
covERY OF MISTAKE.
ORGANISE WAS RESPONSIBLE
Preacher Begins Marriage Ritual
When Music stops-ReaI Brides
Arrival UnraveIs TeagIe
just In Time.

st. Louis.-The momentary stopping
OF an organ at a time when Rev. T. l.
Mueller, of the Bethel Evangelical
English Congregational church, was
impatiently waiting to perform a wed
ding almost precipitated Miss Glars
Kanke into wedlock with Charles l.
Reid, her friends fiance.
Rev. Mr.. Mueller had begun read
ing the marriage ceremony when the
error was discovered through the ar
rival of Miss Caroline Loheide, the
real bride. Miss Kanke and Mr.. Reid
we.e so much excited and embar.
raised by their predicament that they
were unable to stop Mr.. Mueller long
enough to explain that all the require.
meDts of wedding but a bride were
on hand.
When the mistake was corrected by
the marriage of Miss Loheide and Mr..
Reid, spectators in the church were
no longer able to suppress their merri-
ment and burst into loud laughter.
Miss kanke volunteered to act as
SAAoSciloi0 anu WCnL " Tic CuuTCu III
company with Mr.. Reid. They, a
flower girl and two other attendants
drew themselves into line before the
altar.
The organist had been playing Wig
orously. He looked from his loft and
decided that there were enough in
the party to supply bride and bride
groom. He silenced the organ and
hung over the railing to witness the
ceremony.
Taking the stoppage of the organ
as a signal that 1t was time to marry
some one Rev. Mr.. Mueller opened his
ritual and began reading Miss Kanke
into matrimony.
Miss Kanke nudged Reid. hoping to
prompt him to some explanation. The
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11


Small sympathy need be expended
on the New Workers. who were taken
In by fake pictures. which they ina
gined were works of art over which
old masters had labored, whereas they
were copies by art students. If New
Yorker or anyone else desires to
spend his money for age rather than
for art let him do so, but If he admires
the pictures of the old masers for their
great beauty and superior merit,
where is the harm II he gets one Of
the same kind. only more beautiful
and several hundred years fresher?
Indeed. we have long thought that the
printing presses should be started up,
30 that everybody who desired them
could have the old masters. We do not
see why line of old masters should
not be put on the market which would
make the originals look as If they had
been dragged from a secondhand
store.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

Benefits from the American rule in
Cuba continue to be manifested. DR.
Doty, health oficer Of the port of New
York. has just returned from a visit to
the island. which he reports in excep.
tionally clean and healthful condition,
30 that certificates from the physicians
In charge In Havana will be SUFFICIENT
to admit passengers from that city to
New York without inspection at the
latter port. Cuba under present rules
and regulations is no longer a standing
alarm against serious and death-deal-
ing disease.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
Labor-savino Device.

Yes, Stree" said the freckled lad
proudly. my dads genius, he is"
That soT" responded the weary
coffee-mill agent.
wall, ! should say so. Dad noticed
that every time the old hound came
around Sunday mornings he began
wagging his stumpy tail"
Anything unusual in that, sonny?"
NO. not for the hound, mister, but
dad got up the idea of attaching a
shoe brush and whisk broom to
Bowser's tail. Now when dad is ready
to go to meetin' his shoes are shined
and the legs of his trousers are dust
ed without his moving a finger. By
gosh! Dads got as much brains as .
turin diplomat"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

mere fact of being bridegroom had
ratified him. The knowledge that he
was bridegroom to the wrong bride
paralyzed his faculties. Miss Kanke
only blushed and stammered. Those
symptoms are so common in brides
that they held no special significance
for Rev. Mr.. Mueller and the cere-
mony was on fair way to make some
business for Judge when Miss Lo-
heide came into the church with Al
bert Maschmeier, best man.
The organist and Mr.. Mueller both
saw the mistake. The organist at
tackled his instrument afresh and
played all the nuptial music he could
call to mind in the next three min
utes.
BY this time Miss Loheide posted
herself by the side of Mr.. Reid, Miss
Kanke and Maschmeier retreated to
positions in the rear and the ceremony
was resumed
After the wedding the party went to
the home of Mrs. Reds father. There
Miss Kanke was hailed as q near bride
and the joke helped the celebration
considerably.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

Delaware counties, New York, and
Wayne and Pike counties, Pennsyl.
vania- She had cabins in various
places, and would return home not
more than once a year, and only ap-
peared in the settlements to sell her
game and skins and to procure ammu-
milton.
Shattered physically and mentally.
she appeared at Basket Station and
resumed woman's clothing. She said
that In the eight years Of her expert.
ence as a hunter she killed 100 deer,
IL bears, numerous wildcats and
foxes. besides trapping hundreds of
mink and other fur-bearing animals.
She had hand-to-hand contests with
both wounded deer and bears, as ugly
seams and scars upon her body amply
testified.
For two or three years after her re-
turn the woman led mendicant sort
OF life through the valley, and finally
entered the poorhouse at Delhi.
In the spring of 1865 young woman
was put on passenger train at Bias.
ket Station, as she could not pay her
fare any farther. She gave her name
as Mrs. Wilson. and said she had been
deserted by her husband at Jersey
City. She was in feeble health and
was taken to the poorhouse at Delhi.
There she met Mrs. Slater, and an at
tachment sprang up between the two.
The two women left the poorhouse
the following year The next summer
party of fishermen discovered two
strange persons living in a cave in
Barrett township, Monroe county,
Pennsylvania Soon thereafter there
appeared In one of the villages a man
carrying a rife and leading a half
grown bear. Accompanying him was
woman about rs years old, who he
said was his wife.
For two years these Migrants wan
dered about the county. At last they
were arrested and lodged in Jail.
where the discovery was made that
the supposed man was q woman. Thew
were Mrs. Slater and Mrs. Wilson. The
authorities sent them to the aims
house whence they came, but the two
women did not stay there long. The
next winter found them living in a
cabin ten miles from Honesdale. They
wandered into the town one day. were
arrested and again sent to the alms-
AousA x4ers they both died recently.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
FIND BEATTlE ROBBER
TOWNS MODEL YOUTH
MAN WHO TOOK So, 900 IN JEWELS
Is TEACHER IN SUNDAY
SCHOOL.

London.-The burglar who robbed
the wife of Capt. Beattie, daughter of
the late Marshall Field, of $4,000 in
jewels last fall, taking them from her
hunting lodge at Rugby. has been dis
covered, but no trace of the princely
loot has been found.
The burglar was an artist BY day
he conducted small dry goods bust
ness in Leicester, being one of the
highly respected merchants of the
place, and by night he piled his trade
as a burglar
Sunday he taught in a Sunday
school, and his particularly exemplary
life and character won for him the
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
The Road to Content.

1t is frequently said that . family
can live for much less in England than
In America, although the details are
seldom given in support Of the state
ment. A committee Of representative
English workingmen, which visited
America not long ago. has reported
that there Is practically no difference
in the price of food in the two coun-
tries, and that in some parts Of Eng
land provisions are more expensive
than In New York. Rent Is higher
here than in Great Britain. But even
with the greater rent the American
workingman is better OF, for his wages
are so much higher than those paid on
the other side that, as the committee
has reported, the American can save
two dollars as easily as the English
man so cents. The contented workman
Is the one who saYes so cents or two
dollars, rather than the one who COM
plains that his wages are so small that
he can save nothing. The newspapers
noted the death the other day of a
man in Scotland who had never
earned more than eight dollars week,
yet had educated two of his five chill
dren well enough for them to enter the
learned professions, and had surplus
of movable property worth $4,000.
There Is in a New England town, re-
lates the Youths Companion, a shoe
worker who, when he was a young
man, resolved that he would save
enough out of his wages to be able to
retire and live ON his interest at the
age Of 60. He retired at the age of So,
with home and competency; yet he
never received more than SIS a week.
1t is men of this type the world over
who are the bone and sinew of their
respective countries. In democracies
such as England and America they
control in real sense the national
policies. The cost of living does not
trouble them very much, for they have
schooled themselves to adjusting their
immediate wants to the necessity of
providing for a future when they may
rest from thier labors.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
THEFT OF 4 KISS IS
AVENGED. BY HUSBAND
coMPEls MAN WHO cAREssEp
WIFE TO BARK LIKE A DOG
AND ROLL OVER.

Chicago.-"Bark like a dog!" COM
manded Henry Storbeck to William
Stan, 33 years old.
"B-rrrrrr-kk." yowled STAFF.
Now, roll over" ordered Staff.
Nov, look here" demonstrated
STAFF, I'm not circus. That is not
fair"
Roll over and then stand on your
head" repeated Storbeck, pointing a
revolver at STAFF.
STAFF did his best to point his legs
toward the ceiling, while balancing
himself on his head and keeping one
nervous eye on the revolver.
Nov, can go?" he begged.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
cut Away hoo Pounds o. Eat.

Richmond, Va-Andrew Baxxle, Sc
years old, the heaviest man in the val.
ley Of Virginia, is a patient in st.
Luke's hospital. where he has just un.
dergone an operation. DIR. Stuart Nc
CURE removed nearly 100 pounds Of
supernuous flesh from the mans ab-
domen. Bazzle experienced great re-
lief after the removal of the tissue.
He will probably be able to return to
his home in . few days. Bazzle
weighed 400 pounds before the opera
ton. His weight began to tire him, 20
he declared he could no longer stand
It. The big patient is married and has
q large family.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

mot on your life," replied Storbeck.
"Trot around the room on your hands
and knees"
After half an hour of this sort of
exercise Stan rolled over" again and
lay painting on the floor of Storbeck's
home on Clifton avenue.
Nov, say you are sorry you tried
to kiss my wife," demanded the man
with the weapon.
Honestly, I'm SORRY" painted the
man. I'll never do 1t again."
Il don't think you WILL" replied the
other. Now continue your little trot
about the room while the police are
arriving"
When the police arrived they found
Staff wet with perspiration and fear.
Take me out of this place." he
shouted. I'm nearly dead"
Storbeck told the police STAFF had
tried to kiss his wife few days ago.
Mrs. Storbeck told her husband, who
remained at home waiting for Stan
to reappear. In due time Staff went
to the Storbeck house and again tried
to embrace Mrs. Storbeck.
I'D walk a mile on my knees for
one KISS" he exclaimed, and, despite
the woman's protests. he took it.
All right said Storbeck, appear
Ing at the door with pistol in his
hand. you got the kiss-now start
the mile walk"
After his "canter" STAFF was locked
mp at the police station, charged with
disorderly conduct.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
LOCKED IN RErR'eERAroR CAR.
Tramp Nearly Loses His Life After
Doors Are Fastened.

Sioux Falls, s. D.-A tramp who
crawled into an empty refrigerator
car in the Sioux Falls yards of the
Rock Island Railroad company had an
experience which he will not care to
repeat, and which nearly resulted in
his death. After the tramp had
crawled into the car and while he
was asleep, the yardmen had occasion
to switch the car on another track.
One of the yardmen noticed that
one Of the doors of the refrigerator
car was slightly open, and as q pre-
caution to prevent an accident, the
door was closed and fastened, and
the supposed empty car was placed
upon another track, which Glanced
to be siding in q remote part of
the yard.
More than "a hours later one of the
yardmen was passing in the vicinity
Of the refrigerator car and heard q
sound, which resembled a munied
voice. While looking about in differ
emit directions with the object Of dis
covering from whence the mysterious
sound proceeded. his attention was at
tracted by moving stick, which pro-
truded from the side Of one of the
doors Of the refrigerator car.
The yardman went to the door and
opened it, and found the tramp in an
almost lifeless condition. It took
some time for him to recover SUI
ficiently to relate what had befaIlen
him.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

York, Pa.-Gored by savage bull
on his farm near Loganville. William
Miller, aged IS years, is lying at his
home in a critical condition. To his
straw hat he owes the fact that he
is even alive.
The bull chased him about the barn
yard, and after tossing him was about
to trample upon his body when his hat
blew OF.
The bull started after his hat, and az
t die 80 the old man crawled under a
,ence. Muscles and ligaments of his
neck are torn and several ribs broken.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

Margie Is six years old and her fam
family are Presbyterians. Some Of
Margie's little friends are Episco-
palians. and Margie was much inn
pressed with their Lenten sacrifices.
On Ash Wednesday she announced
that she would eat no candy for 40
days. A few hours later saw Margie
with large peppermint stick.
why, Margie." said her friend. Il
thought you had given up candy for
Lent"
Il did mean to-" admitted Margie,
but I've changed my mind. I'm CIV
Ing up profane Language. "-Montreal
Herald.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
THE FIRST TASTE
Learned to Drink Coffee When .
Baby.

Il parents realized the fact that COT.
fee contains . drug caffeine-which
II especially harmful to children, they
would doubtless hesitate before Civ.
ing the babies coffee to drink.
When was q child in my mothers
arms and flrst began to nibble things
1t the table. mother used to give me
sips Of coffee. Al my parents used
coffee exclusively at meals / never
knew there was anything to drink but
coffee and water.
And 70 I contracted the coffee habit
early. ! remember when quite young,
the continual use Of coffee SO affected
my parents that they tried roasting
wheat and barley. then ground it in the
coffee-mill, as substitute for coffee.
But 1t did not taste right and they
went back to coffee again. That was
long before Postum was ever heard Of.
I continued to use coffee until was 81,
and when got into once work, be-
gan to have nervous spells. Especially
after breakfast was so nervous
could scarcely attend to my CORE
Spondence.
AT night. after having coffee for
supper, could hardly sleep, and ON
rising in the morning would feel weak
and nervous.
"A friend persuaded me to try Post
nm. Ny wife and / did not like It
at nrst, but later when boiled good
and strong It was fne. Now we
would not give up Postum for the
best coffee we ever tasted.
Il can now get good sleep. am free
from nervousness and headaches. I
recommend Postum to all coffee drink.
ers.
There's Z Reason"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Greek, Mich. Read THE Road to Well
ville," In pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A nsw
enc appears from time - time. They
are genuine tue, and Ssll 1t humas
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

The South Orange IN. j. council
has passed an ordinance making it a
misdemeanor for dog to bark be-
tween midnight and sunrise. Isn't the
South Orange council little unreason.
able? How can dog be expected to
watch the calendar with sufficient care
to be able to determine what minute
the sun will rise day after day?
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
Triumph Of Mind.

Victim of Delusion-Doctor, I'm
awfully afraid I'm going to have brain
fever.
Doctor-Pooh. pooh, my dear friendl
That's all an illusion of the senses.
There is no such thing as fever. You
have no fever. you have no br-h'm-
no material substance upon which
such a wholly imaginary and suppo-
sitious thing as fever could md
any base of operation.
Victim-Oh, doctor, what load you
have taken from my-from MY
have . mind. haven't I, doctor2
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

"Hezekiah," said the Kansas matron
~ she adjusted her bone-rimmed
glasses and opened the local paper,
1T says here that woman was car
ried two miles by a cyclone and didn't
speak a word for three weeks.
The sun-tanned farmer grabbed his
hat and spy-glass
Where are you going now. Here
kiah?"
Where am ! going, Lucy? Why, l
am going out to see II can't sight one
OF them thar kind Of cyclones"
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
cir,'s Hair II Torn on

New York.-Kate Gorham, cashier
Of Williamsburg department store,
is at hospital In critical condition
as the result OF . peculiar accident.
While she was standing in her booth
. wire parcel basket attached to a
cable caught in her hair, which was
stripped from her head. Nearly her
entire scalp was torn away, and the
hospital surgeons have little heps q
saving her life.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
This Rat chews Tobacco.

New York.-A gray-bearded wharf
rat at the Aiken lumber yard, Perth
Amboy. N. j., chews tobacco.
Ed Thompson. Waterman at the
yard, uses a plug that reeks with lie
orice and molasses. Thompson left
his plug to dry in the sun on pile of
boards; he saw rat take big chew
of the tobacco.
After that Thompson. who is not
selfish, and who is lonesome at the
yard, left a chew of tobacco for the
rat every day, and they became fast
friends. Now the rat has the habit
and comes to the Waterman for it's
chew.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
Tornado Carries on Mail Contract.

Tornaoo carries On Mail Contract.
Waldo. Ark.-A remarkable example
Of the carrying power Of tornado was
evidenced when number of papers
dated at Gillian, La. 100 miles south
Of Waldo. were picked up on the
streets here.
Gillian was visited by tornado the
other day. which virtually wiped the
town on the map, wrecking all build
ings of any consequence, and on the
same evening Of the tornado a shower
Of leaves. small twigs and rubbish fell
ut Waldo. The following morning.
amid the rubbish, the papers from
Gillian, consisting of q check dated at
Gillian. which had been paid. and IN
invoice Of goods that had been re-
ceived ut Cuban BY merchant were
found.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

II the Inventor who claims to have
discovered the secret of manufacturing
gold expects to get people to accept
his product as the real thing he will
have to seek out some almost inacces-
sible and wholly desolate region in
which to establish his plant.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

ago / began to notice
sharp pain In the
Kidneys and a bear
ing down sensation
through the hips.
dull headache and
dizzy spells. Dropsy
appeared, and my
feet Ind ankles
swelled so / could
not get nv chooo N
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

was In misery, and had despaired of
ever getting cured when decided to
try Doan's Kidney Pills. One box helped
me SO much that kept on until en-
tirely cured"
Sold by all dealers, so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
How He Got II.

Had comp'ny TO- dinnah yisti'dy.
Nah husban' stopped at Mr.. Green's
store Saturday ebenin' an done got .
dne spring chicken"
"Yaasr replied the jealous neigh
Dor. Dat Mistah Green sho' IL dc
mos keerless. onsuspectin' mani
Philadelphia Press.
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11

The man who failed in his effort to
predict an earthquake should not be
discouraged. Earthquakes are mighty
hard to predict. being notoriously
large and unwieldy and dimcult to
tnmA
The Colfax chronicle. [volume] (Colfax, Grant Parish, La.) 1877-1981, 1908-07-11
4 KENTUCKY CASE.
Inst VIII Interest All sunerIns
Women.

Ma Della Meanes, s2s E. Front
d. Maysville, KY, says: Seven years
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-01-17
FRIEND TO FRIEND

The personal recommendations of Peo
!, ple who have been cured of coughs and
colds ~ Chamberlain Cough Remedy
have denA more than all else to make it ,
s6aele erticis q trade and commerce ca
= reS mt q die civilized world.
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-01-17
SEVEN YEARS OF PROOF

II have had seven years Of proof that
DR.. Kings New Discovery Is the best
medicine to take for coughs and colds
and for every diseased condition of
throat. chest or lungs" says w. "
Henry Of Panama, Mo. The world has
had thirty eight years of proof that
DR.. Kings New Discovery is the best
remedy for coughs and colds, lagrippe
asthma. hay fever. bronchitis. hemor-
rhage of the lungs and the early stages
Of consumption. It's timely use al
ways prevents the development OF
pneumonia. Sold under guarantee at
Tydings & Cos. drugstore. Fifty cents
and 81. Trial bottles free
The Ocala evening star. [volume] (Ocala, Fla.) 1895-1943, 1908-01-17

Miss lie Roy beamed on her lover
Then the jury without leaving their
seats found verdict for the defendant,
and the property remained in the
hands of Miss LIE Roy.
When Reginald Overacker was prais-
ed for his shrewdness In unmasking
the claimants rascality he was puzzled.
He couldn't understand why such a
simple matter should inspire Judge.
Jury, attorneys and q room full Of spec
tators with wonder and admiration.
However, since he was thereafter per-
mitted to pursue his studies without the
Interference Of his mother.
J. ANTHONY TWINING.