davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
Holding Him Down.

HE has wealthy relative, hasn't
hep
'Yes. and she delights In keeping
him poor"
Keeping him poor?'
Eyes, she gave him an auto on his
bIrthday."-Houston Post.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
The Penalty of prominence

Dorothy's father is militia colonel,
and on a recent occasion she saw him,
in brave array, at the head Of his reg
iment-
"How did you like your father in his
uniform" the colonel asked his small
daughter that night.
You looked handsomer than anybody
else" said Dorothy. land you held your
head up as high. But l think they
were mean not to let you have a drum
to play on"
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24

full-handed; and nothing would
be more injurious to the people, or more
burdensome to the taxpayers, than to
invent for ourselves new incum-
brances"
The Catilines of the present day will
regard Senator Daniels remarks as
anachronisms, but the people Of the
South will follow him in spite Of the
demagogues.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24

There remarkable picture painted by the celebrated
called
In In
nothing wrong
queerlooking
perspective
follow
which which
corridor
aest would
animals? The giraffe that brings
op other the elephant front
behind
thoseth them in
their
perpecte
sides of
building vanish the distance The Illusion is
platform
they
smaller
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
ReprbIican song BOOK.

The Federal Ofice-holders' Song
Book will soon make its appearance.
1t is row in press. 1t uses the re-
formed spelling, and contains many de-
lightful poems on Billy the Big One,
Billy the Beau. Ny Choice from Neces-
sitv. Loaves and Fishes. the Supple
Hinges of the Knee. and kindred sub
iects The morality of the work is very
fine; the thought being Machiayellan
and the language Puritanical.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
Plenty of Government Land.

Despite Uncle Sans prodigality in
the matter of giving away public lands,
there are still millions of acres await
ing apportlonment and settlement. At
the close of 1905. for example. the fol-
lowing tracts were still held by the
government:
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
Philosophy.

AFTER all" sale the optimlst, "ths
best Of luck is only what you made 1t
yourself"
Its all well enough for you to
talk" growled the pessimist. 'but I
never get anything but bad luck"
"well, then. it's up to you to make
the best OF it"-Philadelphia Press.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24

In addition to this enormous area.
there were 1873. T17.20S acres of public
lands reserved from settlement for the
tine being by the government. Most
Of this territory will eventually be
thrown open.-Baltimore Sun
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
Fish in IncIo.ed Waters.

Many people not without education
and a general knowledge of natural
history are mystified by the presence
OF fish in incloSed waters For many
years there was open-mouthed wonder
over the perch. Dream and crayish
found in the newly-cut dams near the
Marguarie river in New South Wales.
In some cases the water had scarcely
settled after the rain had filled the dam
that the fish were observed. and the
Australian farmers started theory of
spontaneous production. This obtained,
and gained wide credence until sgd
ney professor CHANGED to pick up a
wild duck and found its breast feath-
ers and webbed feet well dotted with
fertile and almost Matched fish oya. on
which the spontaneous production"
theory was promptly wIthdrawn.-Phil-
adelphia Record.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
Courage.

Henry IS a brave man. The other
night his wife thought she heard a
burglar"
And he went DOWN.
"No. He had the courage to tell her
no was afraid. Circle.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
NJ Uncertpfaty.

Briggs hear you've been speculat-
ing in Wall street.
Grlggs-There was no specializing
about it. It was dead sure thing
from the stSrt.-Life.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
old FafthfuI. or Something,

Gentleman-Who is that laxative
m"n spouting away over there on the
corner?
Newsboy-That's only a plain, ordi-
nary guy, sir.-Harvard Lampoon.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
Haw! Haw.

'oe-How did you like peter
PanT
'0S-Rotten.
'0o-What was the matter? Didn't it
Pan outf
OS-No; it Petered. Cornell Widow.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24

You can't cash your neighbours sue
cess, and, II 1t has a legitimate fourda-
ton, you can't damage 1t By knocking.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24

The chief fault OF an etiquette book
Is that 1t makes 16-year-old girl
ashamed of her father.-Detroit Free
Press
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
An AIphabetical froposaI.

She-Do you like teas
He-Yes. but l like .ha next letter
better.-Wisconsin Sphinx.
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24

/ wouldn't. This shall be our own
dark secret. I'm the closest kind of a
fellow, me-"
Il know you are and 1 wish you'd
move farther away" said the girl
you never know who's out on the hO-
tel veranda with field glasses. Well, If
it's a secret then I'll tell you. To be-
to him, you know, and I'm not what
you might call petite"
How tall?" asked the young man,
drawing a small memorandum book
and pencil from his coat pocket.
Rather over 6 feet than UNDER
well, suppose you know what you
want" said the young man, but 1 hate
these lanky guys myself"
''He wouldn't be lanky. He'd be
broad in proportion"
''Then he'd be altogether too big for
a fat. You'd find him horribly in your
way. There wouldn't be room for the
piano"
He'll have a house-two houses !:
one in town and another in the coun-
try, and a retinue of servants. He'll
be wealthy"
THAT might help some. Go on! But
I tell you honestly don't like the look
OF him so far"
"If you interrupt me can't 60 on"
said the young woman. HE will have
a high, white forehead"
Merging into pink where II meets
the back of the neck" suggested the
young man. Il can just see him. 1
beg your pardon. Pray proceed"
IF you say another syllable that's
the last you'll hear" the young woman
said, severely. 'If you are really IN
terested you've got t. keep quiet and
listen. 4 high, white forehead and
crisply curling dark hair His eyes
are dark, too. and they can look very
soft and tender. but they fash like a
storm cloud when he is aroused to
anger"
The young man whistled under his
breath.
HE has a dropping silky mus
tache-'
Excuse me, Iel!cia, but thar won't
do. don't-cher-know," said the young
man. You wouldn't want airy back
numbers. 1 know that Cut out the
mustache. or cut 1t off or make him do
It."
He's got to have something to gnaw
when he's puzzled, or to stroke
thoughtfully." said the young woman.
Couldn't he make the crisp curling
hair do? He couldn't gnaw it grace
fully without considerable practice. of
course 5ut he could stroke it thought
fully or scratch it thoughtfully."
Now, don't you interrupt me again.
He viii be gravely courteous in his
manner, chivalrously respectful TO all
women and devoted to me alone. He
will be proficient In all manly exer-
cises and connoisseur in art and he
viii be musician of unusual ability
and talent He will have muscles of
steel and a low, exquisitely modulated
voice. What are You signing about"
Il hate to see you have anything to
do with a skate like that" replied the
young man.
HE won't smoke cigarettes contin-
ued the young woman.
Il thought you said you didn't mind
them bit. Why don't you give it to
me on the square? I'm no mind read
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24

Lincolnshire has the biggest British
farm. Over 1000 acres are under pillow.
The second largest is near Coldstream
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24

The lecturer tries to make his mark
In the world by making remarks
Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24

HE won't smoke cigarettes. contin-
ued the young woman.
Il thought you said you didn't mind
them bit. Why don't you give it to
me on the square? I'm no mind read
er. All I've got to go by is what You
say
And he'll manage TO express him.
self intelligently and agreeably with
out the use OF slang"
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27

do it when their competitors prices are very much hgher!" Here
to give to their friends and customers all the possible benefits
avs sell correspondingly low. Question Howl An eastern mus
and Sheet Music, found that they had bought more than they could
order at a less price than they were to pay, if we would pay cash.
the benefit derived from our fortunate purchase.
AND EXP ENSES by taking advantage of the many great bar
qualities of the goods offered, in the beauty and tastefuness of
this Ak-Sa r-Ben sale will rank as the greatest musical. instrument
priced so low as to astonish you: Pianos, Interior Piano Players,
yer Music, Sheet Music, Guitars, MandoEns, VoGns, Accordeons,
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27
OSTRICH WAS NO CHICKEN
Bowed over Two P%ursuers and Made
COIOred Man ChanGe His
Views.

Just because they thought an ostrich was
a tmid, harmless sort of creature, two
men, one white and one black, were badly
hurt at Mineola, Long Island. Each of the
men tried to catch and hold an ostrich at
the Mineola fair grounds. The negro was
kicked In the face and landed about twenty
feet from the bird; the white man was
kicked In the chest and knocked down and
had his clothes torn off him.
The ostrich that did all the damage is
named Fleetwing. He and another ostrich
named Fleetwing, arrived from Florida In
two crates the other day. They were
brought to Mineola 10 race on the fair
grounds at the fair of the Queens-Nassau
County Agricultural society. The birds
have been trained TO run races and pull
light sulkies to which they are harnessed.
They are bad tempered, however, and
are kept blindfolded frequently when they
are not racing, A blindfolded ostrich Is
gentle as n lamb.
The binding hood slipped off the eyes OF
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27

The modern types Of cable are con-
structed in this way: The core consists of
a central copper wire surrounded by strips
of copper weighing from 500 to GO pounds
per nautical mile. and insulated with three
or more coatings Of gutta-percha, weigh
ing from 800 TO 400 pounds per nautical
mile. The outer sheathlng varies accord
ing TO the depth and nature Of the bottom,
and contains from twelve to eighteen gal
vanlzed iron or steel wires. These sea
cable vary in size and cost The deep sea
cable is about an inch in diameter, the
intermediate type one and thTee-fourth
inches, and the shore, or rock cable, two
and three-fourth inches,
Notwithstanding improved mechods Of
constructing cables, all companies are
obliged 10 maintain repair ships. There
are f~ifty-thrce of these ships always ready
for action at a moments notice. Cables
are damaged usually by chatting over rocky
bottoms, and sometimes they are broken
by ships anchors. An injury which bares
the conductor even slightly, and allows
the water to reach It, will end the useful
ness Of the cable for the time being. The
first step then is Co locate the break, A
conductor offers a certain amount Of re-
~sistancc TO the passage OF an electric cur
rent. Apparatus has been devised for
measuring the amount of this resistance.
The unit of resistance is called an ohm.
Resistance ceases at the point where the
conductor makes considerable contact with
the water therefore. If. when measuring
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27

Fleetwing at the fair grounds recently and
in an instant the big bird was out Of It's
crate, which was not covered. 1t started
off on a run, and about 200 persons ran
after It. There was a merry chase around
and around the racing track, and finally
the ostrich was cornered.
A big negro looked az the ostfIch and
said: g "a
Il reckon there amt no chicken verfwHc
raised that | couldn't hold, boss, IlE hold
his laig, an then you grab his haid.f
The negro wrapped his arms about one
OF F1eetwing's legs and in a second. was
lifted into the air and landed about twenty
feet away, with an ugly wound In the side
Of his face. Then Keeper Ford APPROACHED
the ostrich from the front, and got an up
percut on his diaphragm, cutting his chest
and tearing his clothes, Finally the 'ostriah
was roped and recrated.
THAT amt no chicken" said the neafo
as he watched these proceedings from q safe
distance. THAT there's o two-laiged nplle.'
New York World.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27

the story printed recently that Whitelaw
Reid had refused several offers to purchase
his newspaper on the ground that he de-
sired to leave II as a legacy to his son.
The latter is a Yale graduate of the class
of 1904. Subsequently he took a course at
the Yale law school. At the university he
was chiefly noted for his interest in aquatic
sports.
The HOOsier Poet at Home.
For all his easy-going ways James Whit
comb Riley is the best-dressed man in In,
~dlanapolis, asserts a writer in the Delin-
Gator. He is the faultlessly-attired gentle
man who daily walks out Of Lockerbie
street with a gold-headed cane and often
with a white c~arnation in his ~buttonhole,
as he starts downtown to see his publish
ers. And before he's gone far he has ac-
cumulated a following of children. II there
is u little red-haired boy at the home with
the blue pump, standing on the fence rail
playing telephone with the clothes line,
Mr.. Riley calls, Hello, Amber Locks"
The first time they mat he lifted the boy
over the fence, sat him down on the
ground, looked at him gently, and said:
'Son, you've got hair just like Hum used
to have. Hum was my little brother, and
grandmother called his Amber Locks And
as he goes down the street there isn't a
child that he misses. He knows them all,
Last summer there was a lemonade stand
under the trees at the house beyond the
red brick church. Lemonade was 3 cents
a glass. But there weren't any buyers.
Tho fingers of the small vendors we're not
comfortably clean and nobody knew II they
washed the glasses. BY and by IL began
to rain. and four of them souttled off to
the shelter OF the big church doorway, leav-
Ing only the littlest boy in charge.
Along CAM the fine gentleman, and,
though he didn't have an umbrella, he
stopped in the fast-increaslng rain to say;
I'm take a glass OF lemonade" And he
drank Il, too. Then he left 10 cents and
didn't want the change. He never does.
Every newsboy in Indianapolis knows that.
Among the little folk he meets he s~catters
pennies as freely as the sunshine of his
words.
"You see" he says apologetically to any
grown-up who catches him, pennies are
awful hard to get when you're a boy. Why,
there isn't anything so hard as pennies. 1
remember"
Bread Cast Upon the Waters"
Gratitude to Joaquin Miller for saving
his life and nursing him through a long
spell of sickness many years ago has
caused John Herren, an old prospector
who has struck 1t rich" at Rawhide, New,
to make a will leaving everything he pos
sesses to his old friend and benefactor.
More than IS years ago the Poet Of the
Sierras." while carrying the mail between
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27
STORIES OF NOTED PEOPLE
Taft's Law Repair Shop a Feature Of
Philippine Government.
HOW HE HELPED METHoDIsTs
overturned nm Ancient spanish stat
ute and Made Easy the way for
H Missionary while Cow
crROr General.

some years ago, when the former secre-
tary OF war was governor-general OF the
philippines, relates Success Magazine, he
was called upon one morning by Rev.
Henry Steuntz, a missionary OF the Meth
odist church, now a bishop. The mis-
sionary was in trouble. He had raised
the money to build a church and had
purchased the site, only to find that, under
an old Spanish law still in force, no such
building could be erected unless the same
was to he dedicated To the Catholic church.
IL was a law handed down from the good
Old days when church and state travelled
hand In hand in the Spanish possessions.
The general heard the mission
ary's statement and said, wait a few min
utes."
Turning to his stenographer. Mr.. Taft
dictated a few lines and then handed the
typewriter sheet to the missionary, say
ing. That's all right; now go ahead and
build your church"
A few days later the popular governor
general found tackled TO the front door of
his palace a huge placsrd bearing the
words in big letters: Legal Repair Shop
Old Laws Repaired While You Wait
The Joke was public property I'm Manila
for some days, none enjoying It more than
the genial go-vernOr-general himself.
In the Footsteps of His Father.
Ogden Mills Reid, only son Of Whitelaw
Reid. ambassador to ST. James, is hunting
down the elusive political item as a re-
porter on his fathers newspaper, the
Tribune, reports the New York Times. lie
began Wednesday, and that night he wac
waiting in vain at the Hotel Knickerbocke
to form the acquaintance of William james
Ccnners Of Buffalo and the democratic
state committee. Later. at an hour when
the seasoned reporter would have called II
a days work, he cheerfully volunteered to
20 on a still hunt for Republican State
Chairman Timothy L. Woodruff, who is a
mighty difficult man 20 find after republi-
can state headquarters has closed for the
day.
Young MIR. Reds appearance as an ac-
tive worker on the Tribune stall recalls
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27
read al Crawford,s books.o saId a tourlst

read all Crawford's books said q tourist
from New York.
A tall, broa~d-shouldered gentleman. who
has bren listening on the outskirts OF the
group, with something like a sheer, lifting
his sweeping moustsche, spoke up impa-
tiently at this juncture.
II have read them ALL" he said.
The tourists looked in surprise at the
stranger.
You have. eh?" said a Chieagoan. And
who, may l ask, are your
II am Crawford was the reply.
General SickIes' stormy Career.
The reconciliation between General Daniel
e. Sickles and his wife. after a separation
Of twenty-seven years, is one Of the most
notable social events Of recent times. re-
lates the Philadelphia Inquirer. 1t appears
to be one of the last important incidents of
a career that has been remarkably stormy
in war, in love and in politics. General
Sickles will be "a years old i'm a few weeks,
and for more than sixty years has been a
prominent figure in public life.
Concerning no man in the country has
there been more discussion, his friendships
being as warm as his enemies are bitter.
1t is not likely that the controversy over
the action of General Sickles on the morn
ing Of the second day at Gettysburg will
ever erd, but there is no disputed point in
history on which each side holds such alb
solute convictions, of a Numerically OPP
posing character.
There are a good many people alive who
remember the sensation created all over the
country when General Sickles shot the al
legged betrayer OF his wife, Philip Barton
Key, on the street in Wa shington. This
was fifty years ago, lacking a few months.
and at that time General Sickles was u
leading member of congress and known as
a man of the most positive views.
The trial which followed was celebrated
in the annals Of criminal Jurisprudence. re-
sulting i'm a verdict of acquittal. There was
at that time a good deal of belief in the
higher law Of the husband, but when not
long a%fterward the couple reunited there
were many persons who thought they had
been duped.
This wife died, and the second has had
sorrows Cf her own. though the exact ma
ture of the domestic troubles is unknown.
In the meantime the stormy career Of the
old general has continued. He has been a
fighter in politics and his personality has
never been absent from New York affairs
until recently, when declining years have
somewhat abated his energies. But he re.
mains one OF the few picturesque figures
among the survivors OF the war. the oldest
in years Of them all, and one who will be
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27

remembered for various reasons long after
some of greater military abilities have been
forgotten.
The Capture of Mostly.
General John s.. Mosby, the confederate
cavalryman, used to tell of a comic Incl
dent which happened in the Shenandoah
valley in 1864. relates Youths Companion.
Near Wildwood a regiment of cavalry halted
one night and went into camp. One Of the
men, who was hungry, slipped away and
went off in the neighborhood to get some
thing to eat. He rode up to a cabin on a
farm i'm the dark and called for the person
inside to come out.
A negro woman, known at that time as an
intelligent cortraband, opened the door and
asked him what he wanted. The soldier
wished to be assured of his safety before
dismounting and while eating his supper, so
he inquired of the woman if any one but
herself was there.
She replied, Eyes. Mosby is here"
What" said he, in a whisper. rs Mosby
here?'
Yes" she said, 'he is in the. house"
The soldier put spurs to his horse and
dashed off to his company to carry the
rews. When he got there he informed the
colonel that Mosby was in a house not far
away. The regiment was soon mounted,
and went at a fast trot. thinking they had
Mosby in a trap.
When they arrived at the negro woman's
house the colonel ordered his men to sur
round it, to prevent Mosby's escape, while
he went in with a few to take him dead or
alive.
The woman again came to the door OF
the cabin. The colonel inquired. rs Mosby
hcre?'
She innocently replied, Yes so he
walked in,
After the colonel got inside he looked
round. But the woman seemed to be all
alone and utterly unconscious Of having so
important a person for her guest.
In a loud voice the colonel demanded,
"Where is Mosby?'
ERE he answered the terrified negress,
at the same time pointing to a cradle on the
floor.
The colonel looked into the cradle and saw
| a little African pickaninny sucking its paw.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27
Medicine for a Miser.

The celebrated French physician, RH
was one day walking along the houleF
in Paris. when he met an old gentle
who was very rich, but who was az
same time noted for his stinginess. Z
old man, who was somewhat of "A 4
chondriac, imagined that he could get !
medical advice from Ricord without pa
for II. 4
Doctor, I'm feeling very poorly
Where do you suffer most?"
I'm my stomach, doctor"
"Ahi that's bad. Please shut your I
Now put out your tongue, so that i.
examine &c closely
The individual did as he was told. I
he had waited patiently for about ten
utes, he opened his eyes and found
self surrounded by "A crowd, who supI
that he was crazy. DR.. Ricord, In.
meantime, had disappeared.-Philade
Record.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27

remembered for various reasons long after
some of greater military abilities have been
Omaha daily bee., 1908-09-27

to locate a break. the apparatus indicates
a resistance of 800 ohms. the break. ac-
cording to the cable experts. is about 300
miles from the shore. with this infor-
nation, the captain of the repairing ship
can determine by his charts the course OF
the cable, the latitude and longitude in
which the break has occurred, aud can
set out at once.
When the ship has arrived at a point
near the broken cable, a grapnel is drop
ped, and the cable is hooked. The ends
are brought together on the deck, and
Joined by the electricians on board