The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-05-09

oun'ous looking old germ this must be. What has become of the old fashion Who loved to wear 2 rsady-made Tier woman writer says girl shouldn't marry a man until she knows all about him. Jeemimy crickets! If she knew all about him we know she wouldn't marry him:
 Why does a man expsnd 50 much energy on a golf stick and call 1t pieas- ure. whereas if his wife asked him to fawn;mower he'd kick like muller " She is simply wrapped up in her "Indeed-what does she dor skin sacquess
 The attractive woman of today is the one who can make two strands of hair fore.
 Funny. but the debt of gratitude Is about the last we ever pay.
 The average man not only thinks the world owes him a living, but imasines that he needn't take the trouble to send in a statement
 
 Toast.
 Here's to woman,
 Powder and paint,
 Without the one
 The other ain't.
 Your wife doesn't care what size shoe you wear so long as youh 1oot the bills.
 A man is seldom so tough that some woman can't lead him like a lamb to tho slaughter.
 sDon't be too dignifed. On the side walks of Life there are so many. many banana peelings.
 The sweet girl graduate is pricing blue ribbon and tinted paper 50 look out.
 Harry Thaw is making another fars- we'll tour. A man named Angel has been con- victed of making whiskey in Virginia: This Angel got a little too ny It would seem.
 Four expeditions will shortly start from New York to hunt fossils. They need go no further than New Jersey, the home of antiquated sohool-marms
 Parndoxieal. Yesterday I met girl
 So dainty and so sweet Her home was in Chicago
 Yet she had the smallest feet! Last summer in the country
 I met a farmer gay. You'd think he'd say "Bgosh ana But he didn't talk that way.
 XII. Jones introduced me just last night TO his dear mother-in He says: "She's very kind to me And seldom works her jaw. saw a city girl go down . On the farm to milk q COW She did 1t better'n the hired girl And she's living out there now. asked our Sf,ss s SoXSn.t SoX a,.s He snickered as she swept: never Had none." he replied I asked an old maid if shed wed
 While I made my pockets jingle .Thanks-sir-T'll stay single" I saw a woman pass a store
 with bargains on display And then they called the ambulance For I'd fainted dead away
 yuaa Mortiner Lewis, of The Hous- ion Post, who lately won increased re- nown by losing his appendix, says The Birmingham Age Herald. has had new misfortune, which he tells about in the following lines. at the same time having his respects to the bards Of the ''kerosene" circuit: The Lost Fill.UR. had-what's that You'd like to know The reason why looh so solemn Well. let me tell you, I had clipped A song to fill a half column. One of these chain things. don't you strted perhaps in Kankakee, That had been batted to and fro And was as cute as 1t could be. The Cleveland Leader did a stunt. Frank Adams added just Dit. Grant Rice came nobly to the front. Paul Cook had helped make It hit' Drift Armstrong did a pigeon wing. Sam Riser handed out peach. Rose rose and did little fling, Dunk Smith tackled on his little
 screech.
 The Scranton Tribune did a wad, And Pemberton gave 1t a punch And waterhouse gave 1t a prod, And Schaefer added to the bunch. And Arthur Chapman gave a bead, And Clark McAdams a short song. And each one added to its need
 And helped to push the chain along Ii would have filled a column-h half With my verse tackled onto 1t. too But when raised my window laugh!- Away it blew and l am blue.  "Is Raisuli dead one?'' asks The 1 Montgomery Advertiser. We have It upon the word of Nsr Raisuli himself that he is still actively engaged in the a.n4l. of handittine In Marooco--.