The Emmett index. [volume] (Emmett, Idaho) 1893-1925, 1908-05-28
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some people every day that l neve
could believe. "-Philadelphia Press.
Frlend-I suppose the baby is font
of your Papa-Fond of me? Why, h,
sleeps all day when I'm not at hom,
and stays up all night Just to enjoy M
society Town and Country.
John, do you love me" Eyes
do you adore me?" II spose." "Wil
you always love meT' "Ye-look here
woman, what have you gone and or
dered sent home owT-Lousvillt
Courler-Journal.
Finnegan-These scales is no good
fur me at all, at all. They only weigh
the heft OF 200 pounds, an | weigh
near to 250. Flanagan-Well, man
alive, can't ye git on thin twlce?-
Philadelphia Ledger.
Don't you think that some men
make mistake In adopting politics as
u careerT Eyes, but it isn't as seri-
GUS as the mistake that politics makes
In adopting some men as its represent
atiyes. "-Washington Star
you paid that man a great compli-
ment when you elected him to Office
Yes answered Farmer Corntosse,
IAN the compliment sort O. started a
habit. He has expected everything
complimentary ever since. Washing
ton Star.
| Wllklns-Blinks says he does not
know you at all. Bilklns-I'm not sur
prised. He never sees me, you know.
Wilkins-But thought you were mem
bers of the same church? Bilkins-
Yes, but | invariably take up the col
lections.
Mr.. Green-No, my dear; l will not
tell you what I'm going to give you
tor your birthday. Why can't you
women be content to wait and enjoy
being surprised? Mrs. Green-Oh, tell
me nowl If you keep your word, I'll
e surprised enough.
IF you marry Grace" exclaimed ar
rate father to his son, I'm cut you off
without a penny, and you won't have
so much as piece of pork to boil in
the pot" WELL" said the young man,
Grace before meat" And he imme-
dlately went III search of minister.
His Fiancee-Oh, yes, it's lovely be
ing engaged to you, Jack. But l do
wish you were a rich man, dear. He
How rich, darling? His Fiancee-
Oh, rich enough for me to be able to
snub the people l detest and still have
them call me amiable.-London Opin-
ION.
And now, Uncle Ezra" she said
just before the guests had begun to
arrive, please remember not to eat |
your pie with your knife" "All right, |
Lizzie, but wish you'd tell that young |
woman that waits on the table to give
me an extry spoon. Chicago Record
Herald
First Stranger-Excuse me, but that
Is my umbrella you have. Second
Stranger don't doubt it. Just wait
till / call a policeman. First Stranger
What for? Second Stranger-Bur-
glars broke into my house the other
night and left this umbrella-Ex-
change.
OIL Magnate-Ah, my boy, a million
aires position is a hard one Skeptical
to how? Oil Magnate-If
hoard my wealth, they say I'm a
skinfiint, and II l try 10 give money
AWAY they say l am trying to ease my
,uilty misunderstanding Courier
Journal.
Wife (angrily) there's no
Use In arguing the matter any longer
When l set my foot down, that covers
he entire ground. Husband Calmly
I wouldn't make 1t quite that strong,
ny dear, but your foot certainly does
over a good deal OF ground.-Ex-
hange.
Disguised Wife-Say, niggah, eber
ence All married 20 yo's dun muffin
,ept sit round de house. Doan yo'
Der feel emmy amblshion? Lazy Hus-
and-Ah feels ambishlon wen Abs
lttin' round hyah, honey, but jes' s
Don g All stahts ter wo'k All gifts dis
The family were discussing the com.
ig wedding of the only daughter. "Of
purse" said the bride TO be to her ia
ler, you will give me away?" I'm
frald | have done Ii already. my
ear" he replied. II told George only
lis morning that you had DISPOSE
on just like your mothers" Z
The elevated railroad guard resign. Q
/ his position as an usher at the 8
lurch. 1T mixed me all up" he said. @
When was showing people into the t
ews on Sunday morning I'd tell 'em b
step lively, and once or twice / (
arted to take up a collection in the c
noking car."-Chicago Tribune. d
On coming home from church on s
lnday Arches mother asked him how a
; liked It, and Archie said it was fine I
What do you like most in the 8
lurch?" asked his mother. We'll, the
,st part is where they pass around T.
e money" and, turning to his father, A,
i'd: How much did you get? got
dime"