The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-26
DRIFT " O0D RY PHIf. H. ARMxTR0Ns.


 Go to church this morning with . clean conscience and a clean collar.
 And don't begrudse the money you throw in the eontribution box
 And don't sit behind merry widow
 Before marriage it's hills and coos, year or so afterward its just bills.
 Students of Yale College have start ed q newspaper so they can learn "'journaiism." We hereby suggest that for hen get more abuse than any baseball umpire ever dreamed of.
 Beware of the man who never lemon and he isn't stingy about pass ing It on.
 Don't go around forever giving oth- CTS. advice thinking 1t will render you
 Oh. yes. paradoxical as 1t. may sp- pear. a heavy. drinker~ will frequently
 odd. isn't it that it takes rain to settle the dust and dust to settle the bills.
 A woman's idea of style is to squeeze herself to death in as many different places as possible.
 Chicago has a fox terrier pup that understands three different languages Don't know what they are but pre- sume If there are any college boys, ness in man a in the the family, % they % are slang. baby talk and plain English.
 An accident occurred in Noesho County. Kansas. last week in which the linnhs and an arm broken"
 The Anthony Bulletin does not now Is good for except to make poetry and other trouble.
 To the average man there are only two grades of dress goods worn by women--calico and silk.
 
 And so Teddy Roosevelt. Jr., went up in a balloon! You just can't keep the Koosewelts down.
 She, pretty and pfquant In her new spring regalia, tripped dalntily across Dexter Avenue with that self-satisfied, the well dressed woman. signalled an oncoming street car and as she step ped quickly upon the platform and en- tered sncounsefsd m tS fscas nausht PS S gers. ''Ding. ding" went the bell and fosy red went her cheeks. for one dainty little stocklnged foot crept tim- more than block away her slipper stood in the middle of the street. It was just 2 trihe too large and had slipped of when she boarded the car. stopped the car and ran back to fetch it, while a dozen young and old men sprang to do likewise, but the pretty girl could only sit still, blush becoTn- insly and murmur her thanks
 woman Is of such an esthetic na- ture that she will sit down at the breakfast table and spend several min her epecurian husband wades into the batter cakes and puts his feet in the molasses trough in his easerness
 A St. Louis judge hss been living for years with some of his organs up- side down. la which respect he Is sim- liar to "a certain political party" ac. cording to an Eastern paper.
 As we haven't mentioned the peek a-boo waist in some time we'd just merely say that it Is not so likely to cause spots of ,S tan Ia on the sain this. this widow hat.
 On this calm and sweet Sunday morning as the beautiful strawherry- fed blondes. brunettes, deini-blondes. tftlan-haired brown haired, curly haired. straight-haired danseis of Magnificent Montgomery than whom Ahern are none more fair, tastefuliy but not garishiy gowned in their spring raiment parade to church. we feel nothing in our hearts but pity for Benightet Buffalo. Humbug Houston, Nutty Nashville, Arid Atlanta, Rlckety Richmond Near Norfolk and all the rest of that barren bunch of jay towns for they have not suchi
 Don't YouF
 When the days get warm and sunny and you've donned your summer suit, when you've got that tired feeling and little coin to boot, when the office smells so stuffy and the bock-beer signs bloom out, and in a stein of la ger you would bury deep your snout. when you watch the feller beating at q carpet on the fence when you hate the city smells and sigh for clover's sweet incense, when you turn of from the gutter and you think of country lanes, whore a thousand birds are singing of A thousand sweet refratns. where q million showery blossoms are fiutter- Ing to the ground, and everywhere up- on the air Is, some sweet joyous sound. say when tere this time draws nigh, to fill you with elaton, just buy a magazine and dream you're taking your vacation.