davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-13
By BiIIee GIynn

THE newshaperman, coming down
the hotel stairs. two steps at
time, with a good story in his
pocket. spied an old friend sur
rounded by a bevy Of women and
stopped sghast- In the old days the
friend had been considered a woman
hater.
What is it," he gasped. Did you
come from Salt Lake2"
Ssh" said the friend. I'm on my
honeymoon, but only one Of them be-
longs 10 me. The rest are the wards
Of a society paper Of Vancouver, B. G,
sent down here as the prettiest girls
OF 3. c. 70 90 California al the expense
OF the paper But come along and
hear what they have TO say for them
selves I'm the chaperOn. chapermed
by my wife, and, therefore, safe"
Yes" said the prettiest one we
are Canadian girls all right. but
from the way you folks down here
stare al US we might be almost any
thing. However, We don't care. We
have had jolly good time, and some
narrow escapes. We lost three of our
number at Los Angeles. and still We
are Seven. You might not believe il
10 look at me, but ], myself, have had
16 proposals, with half of them want
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-13
TIE VANCOUVER AN1Ne TRYING TO DIge0VRvFy TIE B7TR eRAs
IS NOT GREEN

fered to buy wine for me, did your"
: No, for / knew you'd take it," re-
Joined the bridegroom dryly, and then
rubbed his ear.
Another thing that struck me as
awfuliy funny" broke in the girl with
ideas, reassured, els the number OF
bald headed men in San Francisco. and
each one seems to be bent on wearing
the littlest hat he can find. And their
suits, too; why, they just seem TO be
bursting out OF their suits It's awful
They're pleasant men, too, you know.
and believe some Of them are good to
their wives, and I feel sorry for thems
but they really should dance little
more or do something. It's a terrible
strain. on dress suit. particularly"
Talking of men," said the prettiest
girl. didn't you think the Dutch wind
mills at Golden Gate park were pic-
turesque?
"Oh, they may have been" reluctant-
ly agreed the girl with ideas. but
from the number Of people I saw that
way the other evening I think there's
too much beach Too much beach and
any place. I believe that's what ls
the matter with San Francisco. Y H
was away in an inlet like Vancouver ,
or had an island between II and Japan
there wouldn't be nearly so many di-
vorces- It Is dangerous for a married
free as whole ocean. It has tsn-<
dency to set him Bpscuiating on thae
old saying about there being % many
ish in the sea as good as have bean,
caught"
That's fne." concurrsd the girl. who
had been eyfng the chaperon dfsap-
provingiy- No married man should
speculate"
And yet continued the girl with
ideas. everything Is speculation down
here I've been told that even the
women bet on races
There's one thing you forgot to men
tion. though" said the cowboy girl. 'I
refer to the dogs. I haven't seen a re-
spectacle looking purp since / left
home; that Is. the kind OF a dog that a
person could associate with. They all
seem to have forgotten how to bark.
and they look as though they have
been manicured and coifured. and are
led around by ladies'. When a dogs a
dog I think he should be dog
This conversation" remarked thS
prettiest girl. "is beginning TO grovvl.
and well soon bark up the wrong tree
IL We don't quit" Turning to the news
paperman. she continued. apologetically.
We've seen almost everything in San
Francisco, and We like II pretty well.
In spite OF what we've been saying.
even the native sons" glancing at the
little coquette. but want to go home.
for there's one thing more that don't
want to see"
What is it?" asked the newspaper
man.
The prettiest girl hesitated, and the
chaperon sprang TO the r. scue. IT'S
a directoire gown he yelled. trium-
phanrly- IT these girls bump into
one OF those split dresses they'll stam-
pede for British Columbia without
waiting for the boat or the train"
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-13

Our starscrapers are too nign.
The Call building looks like 1t mad
broken Loose and been chased up.
The California ostrich beats the
native son. He hasn't got a di.
voree look in his eye, doesn't twist
his neck after every new bird and
likes Mrs. Ostrich just as well after
she has molted as before.
There are so many peach blondes
here that 1t is no wonder the ma
tive son Is frivolous.
In Vancouver the chemist who
sold peroxide would be fined.
1--WE Canadian girls keep our hair
its natural color. Our children new
er have to wonder why their hair
is not golden also, and thus be led
to doubt their origin
In San Francisco everything
shocking passes for "color.s
Even the grass here isn't green;
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-13
Little Hammer Snashes by Canadian Maidens

San Francisco cafes should De
forced to translate their menu cards
into English so people would know
what they are eating.
The miIkmen here are all water
men.
The spaces between the saloons
should be filed with buttermilk
stands and any man not standing
pat should be banished to China
town.
The newspapers should be pro-
hibited from publishing murders, d.
yorces and engagements, confining
their news to weddings and the
weather.
Most San Francisco men are bald
headed. They wear little hats and
their clothes are so tight that the
poor dears almost burst through.
There Is too much beach here. It
is dangerous for q married man to
brood over anything 50 free and
big rs q whole ocean.
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-13

paperman. hopefully. pad in hand. for
instanceg'
Having made mental tabulation Of
her proposed reforms the girl with
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-13

but then it's usually the vaasinH
fault"
Dear" insinuatsd ths BfSl VINO had
been to the. chapsron. you nsvsr ss-
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-13

Even the grass here isn't green;
it's blue.
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-13

and work one nour more. Any one
wanting to buy goods must come dur
ing the two hours that you are open
for business. No one dares to do any
thing wrong for everybody knows
what everybody else is doing, and if
they did the newspapers wouldn't pub
lish it. The newspapers have cinch;
as there are only two of them, morning
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-13

The miIkmen here are all water
men.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
Sympathetic and Suggestive Letter
to Poor Folks.

timid and retiring man may become
bold and self-reliant by assuming the
air and behavior of complete self-con-
fidence. The obsolescent old maid can
learn to pose and smile with all the.
artless grace Of a lass Of sweet six
teen.
1t may here be suggested as an ex-
pertinent that men begin the exercise
of transformation by revering their,
mother-in law. Young men can test
their ability by agreeing that their
own father has as much sense as they,
the sons have. All of you. try the chat
ing test Of believing others in your
own calling are fully your equal per-
haps your superior. If you are spite.
full, pick out a noble. gentle nature
whom you know and try. to be really;
like him. Let charitable Christians do
little awkward. long-disused hating
of their neighbors. If sad, be gay; il.
too gay, get sorry about something
Change up some way so as to be sone-.
body else than your usual self For
if you are unhappy, you have no other
route to contentment except to an
entirely different being from what yo',
are. But If you are tensely miserable
and pleased with your lot, why go on
as you are. For you are an anomaly.
and no law of transformation will ever
reach your case. You may, 1T is true,
exert very light exercise Of christian
charity by being sincerely sorry for
yourself. But II you thus find p. sasure'
in your misery these suggestions don't
reach your condition.
I am trying, dear ppor-folks, to get
it squarely before you that If you are.
dissatisfied with your lot,
fore you the alternative of being some-
body else or continuing in your un-
happy state.
If you are not properly esteemed,
quit feeling sensitive about it. Change,
UP and get angry with yourself for de-
serving to be despised.
These mental outings, will have
wonderful effect In having you to,
spare your mind the shriveling pros
cess of pining over what you call fate
when the true. name of the object of
solicitude is-Failure.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
Hot Lane, August 1, zoos

Hot Lane, August 4, 1908.
Dear Poor-Folks: AS you very fully
represent my other self multiplied
many times, / come to you with the
balm of consolation for your sultry-
weather miseries. You are in truth
only myself numerously typefied;
hence..'I feel that l am soliloquizing
when address you.
The dog-days are on us. and the
ghost of smoke trembles colorless
across the vacant lots; fit symbol Of
the conflagration of unrealized expec-
tations gone up into thin hot air to
float away into the irrevocable past.
Sirius, the dog star snarls madly in
the suns face. We obey the respon-
sive Impulse in our nature and snarl
at fate. environment and the world
generally.
We are helplessly more r.
with everybody who is able to take a
trip, and don't care a continental if
their baby has collie enough while gone
to modify very seriously the pleasure
of the jaunt.
But we can all take a glorious outing.
The writer has during the last month
been in Canada, in the forests of
Maine, sailed along Lake George,
climbed White Mountains in New
Hampshire, caught silyery trout from
the ripping Piscataquis, drank the nee
tar supplied on buffet trains-such
drinks as have heavy touch of glory
juice in them for those who know how
to wink skillfully at Cuffy in white
apron and white cap. He has jostled
gently against "her" as the boat lurch-
ed. Now this extensive jaunt., was
taken on an office tripod. The only
episode that marred the trip, was when.
a leg OF the stool broke. Fancy can't
do her wonted work in a tumble. You
land back at. your own prosaic haunts
in an instant if the stool on which you
sit to dream topples.
What Unreasonable creative power
fancy exerts. All the foregoing jaunt
was taken in dusty office on a hard
stool with the neighboring objects all
removed by the storm of reveling fam
cy.
Now dear poor-folks, If your imagi-
nation won't work, If there is hitch
in the cog-wheel of your fancy. just
turn yourself into new experiences by
being totally different from what you
ever have been. Campanella, an Itali-
an philosopher, taught that one can
be anything he wanted to be, by simp.
ly initiating as best he can the thing
into whose phases of trait he desired
to be transformed. A clownish wag
can become dignified by protractedly
posing with statue-like majesty. A
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

The committee appointed to inve sti
gate the status of the Cumberland. Tel
ephone Company in Hattiesburg will
report to the city council tonight.
The evidence furnished the committee
by the Daily News shows conclusively
that the company has been discrim-
mating in rates-that it has charged
some subscribers more than others for
similar service, which is contrary To-
the terms of the charter jahder which
it is operating The committee has
also ascertaiped the fact that the local
exchange emtraces less than 500 telc.
phones unless II is permitted to count
the sconnections in the rooms at Hotel
Hattiesbnrg. This. should not be per-
nlttedby the council, but the company
should be compelled to return tn the
people of Hattiesburg the money which
it has unlawfully taken from their
pockets. 1t is up to the council
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

w. G. Fail left yesterday for ten
days vacation which he will spend
along the Mobile and Ohio Railroad.
The board Of supervisors has been
busily engaged today allowing &C
counts and attending to routine work.
One of the fine forest trees in the
court house yard had to'be cut down to
make way for the new jail. 1t is not
thought that it will be necessary to
cut down any others.
Attorney Hunt, of Pufvis. is Wis
itor today.
Mr.. S. w. Giles leaves today for sew
eral months travel through the west
for his health.
Mr.. Eugene Fly returned to Brook
haven yesterday after visit of sew
eral days spent with Hattiesburg
friends.
Hon. Eaton J. Bowers, of Gulfport,
is in the city today
Miss Katie Gordon, of Columbia,
Ala, who has been the guest of her
upoIac Moocrc uArraa,, ooa Co.,
Katz returned to her home last night.
Hon. J. H. Currie, of Meridian, who
is a candidate for congress against
Hon. Adam Byrd, is in the city today.
e. q, Sellers and Mike Crawford, of
Moselle, were in the city yesterday.
d. L. Gay, of Brooklyn, was trans
acting business in the city yesterday.
E. Watson, G. Watson, Findley,
Crimes, Robinson and Jones went to
the encampment at Columbus with the
Hattiesburg Company as an attach
ment from Seminary.
Rev, S. R. Ellis passed through the
city last night from Jasper. County en-
route to his home in Seminary.
J. Ed Rawls visited Bassfield, Sun
day.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
He WAS SCARED.
Why the Drummer Made Record Time
Out Of Pittsbura.

Why the Drummer Made Record Time
Out Of Pittsburs.
Il am not man to brag," said the
Cincinnati drummer, "but feel that l
can honestly say that was never real
scared but one time in my life. and
that happened year ago"
When asked in a casual way to back
up his statement with particulars, he
continued:
room on the third floor, and in COM
ing out of it on an occasion | bumped
against a man who was passing. |
was feeling in ugly mood that day and
when the bump came | shot off my
mouth at the stranger. He replied in
kind. and suddenly shot out my left
and caught him on the point Of the
chin and dropped him Ike log.p
and you thought you had killed
himY'
mo. He lay there and snored like a
seal, and went downstairs and told
the clerk he had better see to him.
Three minutes later | had twenty diff
ferent men around me begging me to
fly for my life"
"But whyr
BECAUSE | had knocked out mid
-dleweight prize fighter who had won
over thirty battles. Gee whiz. but
when they told me who the chap was
my knees gave under me, my mouth
got dry as cotton, and ] didn't stop for
my grip. was dusting' across the
river within ten minutes. and | didn't
feel safe for the next three days.
Lordy, but think Of tia dry goods
drummer who bad never had a glove
on knocking out champion middle
weight Did run? We'll. | made
record time, all right. Chicago News.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
CAUGHT DESPERATE
negro AT laurel

The police at Laurel had desperate
battle with negro murderer last night
and came off victorious, landing the
negro in jail.
Some two weeks ago Charley Wilson
killed Summers Former and since the
murder he has been at large. All eff
forts to catch him seemed to be in vain
until he was located by the police at
Laurel last night and after hard
fight was landed in jail
Charles Wilson. bears the name of
desperate negro and there was $3.50
reward for him.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
OFFER EXTRAORDINARY.

To introduce the Daily News to res
idents of South Mississippi outside Of
Hattiesburg, we will send the paper
from now until after the November
election by mail to any address for 81.
This is done to increase our circula-
ton outside of Hattiesburg, and at the
same time. giving you the paper at
exactly half price. Mail us your sub
scription If
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
PLEADED GUILTY
TO SALE OF LIQUOR

A negro blind tiger dealer, who had
been arrested by Deputy Sheriff Dan
McGilvray, pleaded guilty in Justice
Wallis court Yesterday afternoon and
was fined $500 and sentenced to sixty
days in jaiL
II Is And erstood that there were
other charges OF similar character
agalnst the negro and he compromised
BY beading guilty in the first and ac-
'cepting the fine and sentence as a set
Element of the cases against him.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
OFFER EXTRAORDINARY.

To introduce the Daily News to res
idents of South Mississippi outside of
Hattiesburg, we will send the paper
from now until after the November
election by mail to any address for 81.
This is done to increase our circula-
ton outside of Hattiesburg, and at the
same time, giving you the paper at
exactly half price, Mail us your sub
scription. If
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

ter of humanity. Once representatives
in congress spoke ad libitum. Now an
hour is the longest speech possible ex-
cept by unanimous consent.
THE paper of the future will ex-
plot good deeds more and reduce the
reports of scandal to the minimum"
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

railroad manager; that every property
under his management has been great
ly improved and is kept in perfect con-
dition; and consequently that the SER
vice on his lines shows the same i'm
provement and gives general satisfac-
ton. Hence the rejoicing at Pitts
burg at the change in management.
After all, we are a people willing to
pay so long as we get our moneys
worth in returN 1t is when we arr
compelled to pay { high price for poor
service, that we balk. With all the
threats against Hartman. no little
threats against Hartman, little
or nothing is heard as to their execu-
II those threats were idle vaporings
There must be something solid and
earnest behind the man who thus
openly uenes tne most powerful gov
eminent ON earth Is It the confidence
or the legion of stockholders in his
roads? Is it because they fear that
with his elimination, the value of theses
will goi down? 1t is al
queer situation, wholly beyond the
grasp of an outsider! g "a
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
ALDER M EN-.

eity-at-L arge-M. ]. McGrath.
Ward 1-E. L. MCGOWAN and DR.. E. ].
Mitchell.
Ward Pr. A. Cameron and H. c..
Greer.
Ward "a. T. Powe and c. F. Lassiter
Ward 4-R. c. Mckenzie and N. R. Nc
Cullough.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

Fred Sullens of the Jackson News is
suffering from macrophagocytosis. The
Arkansas man who started the story
that the water was so hot in the Lakes
that fish had to be dubbed off of dry
land was probably troubled with the
same ailment.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

The Socialist newspapers of the
country have stepped into the hide
pendent party bandwagon. But the
readers of the Hearst newspapers are
not surprised.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

Every time the Republican newspa
pers say anything about carrying Geor-
gia for Taft the Augusta Herald puts
another exclamation point after the
name of Bryan.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

An Ohio woman has been granted
divorce from her husband on the
ground that he got up in the middle
of the night to smoke cigarettes.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
A Free Press.

Congressman CHAMP clark. of Mis-
sour, slated zpr ne leadership of the
Democratic minority, has this to say
on THE subject of "A Free Press"
When the historian of our times
comes to philosophers as to the worlds
amazing progress in the last hundred
years-particularly in, the last 6O-one
of the most noteworthy topics for dis
cussion will be the multiplication Of
newspapers as to both number and cir
culation. His explanation will be
made up largely of statement of the
influence of steam and electricity in
newspaperdom. His most difficult du-
ty will be to explain satisfactorily the
almost complete disappearance of the
old fashioned paper in which the edi-
tor was bigger than his paper and the
~ ing nuSr, tihpersoual pa
pers of the present day.
"The chief work of the papers of
the immediate future will be to make
themselves absolutely independent AMI
as impartial as possible in the discus
sion OF public men and public mea-
sures. Even a casual observer can see
mat the day of the thick-and thin
party organ has about ended. Tn fhs
good time coming there will be found
some way of stripping this mask from
Me papers which are really the person
organs of certain baneful interests
which pose as real newspaper,
" that way constantly gull their
as Jefferson once declared
tween county without a
and with free press and
government and with
he would choose the
Hation 70 which ]
Kan honest press
press. The poo
k9ke clean, ho.l,
aIism.
lre will not
pers Of to-
advertise
mot only
as a mat
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

Copiah County has refused to re.
move its fiat bridges from over Pearl
river and jackson will have to do with.
out steamboats,.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

A Greenwood man put carbolic acid
on himself instead of chloroform to
kill chiggers. The chiggers died all
right.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

The crowds on the streets these
days remind us slightly of the fat days
of year and more ago.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

ancT will be short, containg less than
5000 words. Fortunately, Mr.. Bryan
mas aplatform to stand upon, and this
win save him the tedious and tiresome
task of explaining things notzsepched
upon in the party creed as was the
case with Mr.. Taft.
----------
We are bothered less by the candi-
dates but more by the mosquitoes.
Experience is a good teacher, but
observation is better one.
/, Carrie Nation now threatens to do
things to the sheath gown.
There is a world of joy for the de-
serving.
-
Even dog days are better than none:
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

1t is about time for Bowers and
Barber to stir up the political animals
again.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

This is the day when Missouri voter.
show the candidates few things.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
THE NOMINEES.

3 For Mayor-Dr. ]. d. Donald.
For Marshall. F. Williams
For Police JUSTICE. E. Davis.
For Treasurer-John Williams.
For City Clerk-A. Farley.
For Street mmissioner-Owen Reedy
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

Those who complain of the warm
days should be thankful for the cool
nights.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
w ants.
FOR SALE.

FOR sALE-2s head work oxen and
three s-wheel wagons, Jokes, bows
y and chains. Hattiesburg Trust &
Banking Company. Jul 10 If
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
ADJUSTMENTS.
Attractions Toniqht.

New Gem-Moying pictures: THE
Spirit of 1776," a patriotic war drama
shown for the first time in Hattiesburg.
Illustrated songs by Miss Rosa Pell-
man and Mr.. Hirsch.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

AGENTs--We want live local agent
in every town and village in South
Mississippi Liberal commission and
attractive proposition. Address A.
b., care Of Hattiesburg News.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

FOR sALE-tiood crate and stove
coal In any quantity. Telephone,
A. L. Hodges. Home phone S04
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

FOR RENT-A few good 5 room
houses from $500 to $1,000 per
month Phone sss. NJ. J. Epley
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

WANTED Dressed lumber graders to
work from one machine. $3.50 per
day Apply Richbufg, Miss 1-3t
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

Contrary to expectations. Mr.. Bryan
announces that his speech Of accept.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

Casino-Moving pictures: "A. show
mans mans Treasurer" and 1.-The
Hearts Bidding" Illustrated song,
when First You Called Me Dearie.'
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

New Empire-Moving pictures: "a
Lucky Accident and "The Burglars
New Trick" Illustrated song: Let
Me Make Love to You"
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04
Just Talk.

Wonld-be' political soothsayers are
( busy and rumors have been flying
. thick and fast since the recent pri-
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-08-04

We are bothered less by the candi-
dates but more by. the mosquitoes.