Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-05-13
GAXDERB0NE'S NAY FORECAST.
(oorYRrGurEp 1908 BY c. II. nrrrn

Wake me early, mother darling,
When the east is growing grey,
For I'm TO be queen of the May. mother,
I'm to be queen of the May
Put the alarm clock close beside you
To announce the break If dawn,
For | must rustic out, mother,
And get my glad rags on.
Wake me early, mother darling,
| For I've business to be at,
For I'm to be queen of the May, mother,
have the biggest hat.
The pass word for the month will be
What is the score?" Book stallments
will be paid on the lst Gas meters will
run slower and Presidential candidates
Will run faster. Pride, which has been
going before II fall, will go behind &C.
cart. Strawberry measure will be.
| Twelve quarts make n crate,
One pint makes quart,
Top berries make n sale,
Nobody makes kick
Mr.. Taft will appear in Chicago and
|
one 4o-horse power elephant and one 90
horse power Teddy Bear. Mr.. Bryan
will start for Denver in I-mule power
runabout Congress will adjourn about
the 10th and the members will go home
and explain.
The watchful tabbycat will get
The helpless little flicker.
And the Prohibitionists will set
A few more traps for liquor
The sun will rise mt o'clock and go to
bed at and the sweet June bride will
contemplate the near approach OF Heav-
en-. The breath of May will bring the
fern, the rose and buttercup, and the
farmers wife will milk and churn be-
fore the men get up. The boys will skin
the slippery elm with Jimmy's barlow
knife, and the ice man will be out to
skin the innocent housewife. The frog
will sound richer bass from rivers and
ravines, and man will tone his system up
with sassafras and greens.
And then the city boarder will
Begin to correspond
With some bucolic country place
OF which his wife is fond.
The host will promise country fare,
That most revered of boons,
And place his order up at town
For seven tons of prunes.
The graduate will choose a theme for
his June GRAFTON, and plan to tell us
what is good for this neglected ma
ton; the music school will graduate
Ophelia and Viola, and when they come
home they'll buy themselves pianola.
The thrasher will descant at eve
Upon the passing day.
The festive colt will fill his tum
With prophylactic Ray;
The chicken hawk will pounce upon
The fat buff cochin fries,
And the horse will whirl his tail piece at
The all tarnation flies.
The Saxons called the month Tri- i-Milki
because at this season the dairyman
makes his milk of three parts-one part
milk, one part water and one part form
aldehyde.
May is from the Latin Maius, just as
June takes its name from Juniores. the
Juniors. That is, this Is a month when
old heads are at their best and young
men like Bill Taft and Ted Roosevelt
will have to look out for old tops like
Uncle Joe Cannon aud Uncle John
Rockefeller. About the goth nobody
much will care TO bet that Uncle Joe
will not be nominated for President. or
that Uncle John will pay that thirty
million dollar fine.
May is bad month to wed i'm,
Because, we are told. it is said in
Such cases the stork, as a custom begins
The young husbands troubles, o hor-
rors, with twins.
After the 23d May will be under the
influence Of Gemini, the sign Of the
arms. Boys born in Gemini will want
to bear arms. They will be soldiers and
work for the governmennt at sl3
month.
GemiDi people are restless. They
oveall the time and you always have
to ask them where they are living now.
They have brilliant imaginations and
think Bryan will have walk over.
They are foolish and think Taft won't
get the coIored vote. They are brutalIy
honest and generally tell the young
mother that her baby is ugly.
The June announcements will be made
and Madam Gould will don her fighting
cap and say that she will marry Prince
Sagan whereat her Boni, whom she had
to forcibly detach, viii challenge HeIie
to come out and fight a splitting match.