Evening journal., 1908-06-20
Personal and Pertinent
THE MOTORISTS MONUMENT.
Lives of motor-fiends remind us,
II we race and speed galore,
Wen, departing, leave behind us
Smoking scrap-heaps wet with gore.

Smoking scrap-heaps wet with gore.
The lapidary was about cut the tail off tadpOle-
shaped yellow diamond
'The chances are he said. that this fellow will
turn white from terror when split him. If he does
his Naoe win 80 up 200 per cent .
TO strike the knife's back the momentous blow
Ani the hammer fell the amputated tail dropped
tho box underneath and To- the yellow diamond that had
been split was now quite white
in the tall Yet the tant reflected all through the
stone, this it OF uniform yellow through
out Now the talnt is gone and our yellow diamond is
The miracle happens fairly often"
There are no rcd haired old maids
The speaker red-haired actress. lighted fresh
cigarette and
THE red haired have of iron in their blood.
This causes them to overflow with vitality, animal
spirits gaiety. wit charm but boast must -
She smiled and smoothing her ruddy locks with slim
white hand she added:
AT any rate it is a papable fact that the red-hared
girl left AS rule she married at twenty.
a red-ha'red Old maid is a greater rarity than mill
lionalre anarchist This is leap year, but we red
haired girls have no need of It,"
II you do not want it to be known. do not do it.
Tie who pops the question on his knees stays there for
It is typographical error to call woman mans
bitter half
You easily natter by telling him he can't
be easily hattered.
Some PEOPLE are disappointed in love; some too,
disappointed IN marriage
y coquette IS like angler who. after fishing all
day. eats none of his catch
Enocfs oaushter $50 years old when she married
Cheer up Eirls-and this is Leap Year.
Many wife would know her husband was a
jolly good fellow she didn't hear his friends rearing it
out every Saturday night while helping him home.
Mine IS the rarest Of all trades" said fat man 'T
maker o instruments Of torture I suppose that
at this moment in Siam and China yellow bleed
Ing ana bowling in the clutch Of machines of my make
tie lighted his pipe.
r., Pleasant thought, ehq But we must all earn our
lVlnE somehow. In Birmingham mines earned There
for ~ years have been turning racks hair and nail
drawers thlmbscrcws. s'inners, needle-beds soaring
irons, bone trcavsrs, and what not
Siam ana chi'a have bought their instruments Of
torture FROM Birmingham for generations Some these
eonirNmcHs arc very costly and ingenious. There's
a water drapror which works by cockworl that costs
s-oc There's 49, but that's horrible to talk about
The Chinese inst 'eveler in all sorts of club uSures;
times crueler than the Siamese"
This skim" said the furrier came from young seal
bachelor, youth ignorant Of love and of life"
How do ycu know?" the lady asked.
Ly IT'S imthess, its perfection he replied "The pile
you will note, s like cose-cut velvet only bachelor
seals<ins have such a pile
The huchelor SEAL" he went on. has rather sad
lie The bg hull seals in the seal islands have eacn
household Of 15 20 wives but the young bachelors
must herd by themselves Let Of them attempt 10
marry, and sraightway bun slays him Not tin he
Is big enough to fight and conquer bull-not till he
II or 10 od-can know the delight of settling
down in home his own
lie is not like the human bachelor. the favore Of the
but he leads hard ascetic ceiibate life only in the
end as Ike as not to make a lady very fine coat"
Cid sobsa colde looked thoughtfuly across the CEN
trepicce of mauve orchids at his SON
Well Scatt'igood he said. bending forward 10 light
his oiear at Of the shaded candles your course
In i've VIII oe far easier, see than mine was"
ccndescensicn.
no" so, governor" he patronizingly inquired
said tie cid man, began bottom and worked
up. You have begun at the top and will slide down"
i have here" said the ione-hared visitor vno boa
wandered ino the sporting editors room by mistake I
nae mere short poem wrote Niagara Falls"
Don't say" snorted the sporting editor "TIov IN
~Iuoer ~ ed you Keep your paper from getting wetg"-
Catholic Standard and Times
an expert golfer had the misfortune play particu-
as Nikorous stroke at the morRent that seedy wav.
Iarer NuiAed across the edge the course The han
STRUCK he tresnasser and rendered him briefly insen
ms hand by tie regretful golfer w
lnanNy' sir said the injured man. after kindlinr
again, sif2'--Lippncott's. f''N
NoNie-Tell me did ever win prize al iotter,,o
s.noily--No. never did but my wife did-Yonkers