Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-05-07
MIN Ding
I He bA B Y

wen, Salo TollST, We moved.
Ever since I've been in New York I've
lived in boarding house in Gramercy
place. 1t was good enough place and
I'd probably stay there for the rest
of my life if it had not been for a
young man named Smith and his wife.
who took the room next to mine
and"
"Ah! | see," said Roysten Tried
to f1irt with the pretty Mrs. Smith and
the jealous husband naturally went
for YOU
'Worse'n that blamed sight" said
Potter, dolefully. she went for me
herself, then the landlady sailed in
and finally the whole house, and if
ever | rock baby for anybody again
may be struck off life-size as a sam.
pie of a real idiot Now, anybody to
look at me could, suppose, take me
for an obliging man." he added paus-
ing to wait for some expression of
opinion to come out of the dense cloud
OF smoke opposite.
"Er--yes. Pray go on"
well, those Smiths began to sus.
pect it the minute they saw me-
hadn't been there a week before nv
room looked as if l boarded some
where else-actually that fellow had
borrowed everything that could be
moved, invited me to smoke my own
cigars and said he felt more ac-
quainted with me than he did with his
twin brother-found out since he
never had twin brother. Got SO
confounded chummy and so all over
that l only had room enough to be
chummy back again, by George, and
demme if l didn't feel grateful fol
even that. Went home one evening
dead sleepy and beat out-had set UP
all night before with sick chap-and
the minute I struck my room there
was Smith waiting for me. Said he
and his wife wanted to go round the
corner on an errand, and asked me if
| wouldn't just listen, and if I heard
their baby cry go in and jog the
cradle. l said l would, like an ass
and after they'd gone, and long before
I'd begun to listen, that cry broke out
in the next room like bagpipe. Cad
how sleepy l was! But | went in and
logged that cradle, logged it like the
deuce, and the more logged the more
the little whelp yelled. Thought, per.
haps, it had the nightmare or some.
thing, and hauled it out of its bunk
and kind of threw it round to wake it
up, but when l tried to see if it had its
eyes open, I'll be blamed If could find
any eyes. 1t went right on getting
redder and redder, bowling like forty
demons, and finally wriggled so way
inside of itself that couldn't see any
thing but clothes, and didn't know
where to take hold of the little imp
by jove, but l was sleepy, though.
and mad enough to wiring Smiths
neck! l didn't know what on earth to
do-never'd been so near a cub in my
life. l whistled to it, swore at it,
shouted Ben Bolt over 1t, tried to look
like its mother, told it twas muvvers
ownzey's title lizzie, wizzie, dizzie,' but
it didn't believe word of it-just
hooted two octaves higher up and for
five minutes / almost wished l was
dead. Then, thought I'd lay it down
again-never forget how awful sleepy
| was-guess my foot slipped or some
thing; anyway, we both fell in the
cradle. Of course, the poor little thing
broke out in a fresh spot-been fool
if it hadn 't-and l braced up and be-
gan jogging that cradle again like
mad. l was desperate The chandelier
jingled, the pictures got to hanging
crooked, the floor creaked and the
cradle cracked. You'd thought all
Bedlam had day off-the little tar
tar's bowls weren't in it-sounded as
if they'd been wrapped up and laid
away somewhere and-just then in
walked Smith and his wife and began
to apologize for staying so long, while
l made for the door. l didn't get
there, however, for Mrs. Smith was
looking in the cradle and screaming
Where, oh, where is my angel child
you monster of mani And then
Smith looked, too, and leaped all over
me, shouting out: Where is my boy,
you scoundrel?"
ihen looked myself, and felt
nearer the electric chair than l ever
expected to, for that cradle didn't have
a devilish thing in it. Everything was
on the floor, but the baby was no.
where, and they went to clawing at
me as if had it in an inside pocket.
We heard 1t talking to itself some
where, but it might have been a ven
triloquist the way it kept us thinking
it was everywhere where it wasn't.
Landlady came up and said the man
below had notified her that a cable
car was loose upstairs; then the other
boarders flocked in and helped shake
things to see If the baby wouldn't fall
out. tried to explain and said I'd
only been Jogging the cradle, but they
all grinned, and one mean cuss said
he guessed I'd been tagging, If he was
any judge. OF course the baby was
all right-'twas under the bed, where
it had rolled itself just for fun, for
it was having better time than any
body in the room. / swore | hadn't
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