Spirit of the age. [volume] (Woodstock, Vt.) 1845-1913, 1908-08-29

| NONSENSE sara IL having leIl the
door Unmatched.
The town clock bell had completed
It's dozen peals, and we were lying
costly in our places when there came
soft creaking on the hallway stairs,
followed by the mufiIed tread of foot
steps outside of our door,
"John," Maria whispered. "dld you
hear that?"
"What7" asked. fearlessly.
"some one Is at our door. Go out
and shoot him. oh-h-h!" The door
opened softly and a circle of light
was planted on the opposite wall.
Our visitor made straight for the
bureau and started to I'LL his pockets.
rose in my place. Impressively |
demanded, "What are you doing
there, r-r-rascal?"
For answer he flashed the light into
our faces. MY own was unruffied;
smiling even. on Marla's saw such
look OF frozen terror that was sore
tempted to abandon our experiment
then and there. 1t was only my
promise to Clarence that impelled me
to see 1t through.
"See here, sonny" said he, as he
took my watch. "Get your thinking
apparatus busy locating where you
keep the decent things. This is junk.
The stuff l got down in your dining
room is enough to make anybody
mad. You ought to be ashamed OF
yourself"
"Out Of my house this instant, or,
by Heaven, you perish where you
standl Begone, villain. Vanish!
Vamoose!"
"Vamoose" was Clarence's cue to
depart. Instead Of that he strobe
over to our bedside and dealt me a
smart cum on the ear. This was no
part of the agreement, and fastened
to voice my demonstration.
mot do what?" was the answer,
grufly given. "That is funny. Ha,
ha! Keep quiet, you fossil, or I'll
run a rapid transit tunnel right
through you" A ball of fire flashed
into my eyes and felt the impact OF
cold steel on my forehead.
Spare usI Spare us!" came in
mufied tremolo from under the
blanket. "Give him that 500 you
have under your pillow, John"
He did not wait for me to give it.
He pushed my head aside and thrust
his hand under the pillow. AS the
CLEAN of the lantern was turned aside
for an instant caught glimpse OF
the pistol as it went by me. 1t was
tiny automatic revolver. And l had
bought Clarence horse pistol!
"Give me your diamonds" growled
the intruder, "Quick, or / shoot.
My tongue clave to the roof of my
mouth and my teeth ratified. AS
speedily as could withdrew my
head under the coverlet and kept II
there until the sound Of retreating
footsteps made known that the bur.
glar had gone.
1t was Maria's voice that heard as
l emerged. Her tones, confess, were
slightly hysterical. "Grapple him
throttle him, pummel him; pumme
him, throttle him, grapple him." She
said this over and over again.
did not stop long to listen.
jumped out of bed and made for the
window. I called for help, and an
answering whistle told me that mS
call had been heard. AS 1 left the
window 1 spied some one coming III
on the run. rushed down the stairs
and ran through the hallway. On the
porch ran into a policeman. There
was another man with him-held
tightly.
Here's your burglar" said the
officer. II got him as he was coming
back. Said he came up to help you
good nerve, Ell? His partner wasn't
quite so cool about it; 1 saw him run
ming away with bag. He was toe
quick for me, so nabbed this one."
The captive removed his mask ant
showed us his startled, white coun
tenance. Yes. 1t was Clarence
We have tried to explain matters
to Maria. Time and again we have
assured her that it was all a joke
perpetrated for her especial benefit
No use. Each time she rewards boil
of us with cool stare and asks icily
where, then, are my coffee pot ant
my silver spoons and the soup ladle?
Besides, she invariably concludes, hat
Clarence been the burglar, she haC
small doubt that would have crap
Pied him, throttled him and pun
meled him. Cold type does not re
produce the possibilities lurking il
her tone.-New York Tribune.