The Laurens advertiser. (Laurens, S.C.) 1885-1973, 1908-05-20

S. G. as second class mail matter.
LAURENS, S. C., MAY 20, 1908.
Elsewhere in this issue is reproduced
an excellent editorial from our es-
teemed Greenwood contemporary, the
journal, on the subject of the church
members responsibility. We commend
1T to our readers as a good, sound, com
mon sense treatise, and just now it is
especially pertinent to our people.
-
Ii South Carolina will instruct her
delegates to the National convention
let's tag them so the people can spot
III mummies without any inconveni-
ence.
The campaign is coming on soon and
doubtless there will be some candidate
who thinks he is being prosecuted as a
political martyr. Here is an excerpt
from a speech delivered by Senator
Jeffries Davis that would serve admira-
bly, for such a case. Use it; poor fell
low, nobody will know the difference:
go damnable imps of pelf and greed,
DEFY your taunts! Tear to fragments
my political career. Lash my poor
form into insensibility. Gnaw from my
stitfenlng, bones every vestige of quiv-
ering flesh. Howl in wretched b%estial-
ity through my own innocent blood as
1T drips from your fiendish visages."
Get it down pat; it's a peach.
There is no other State in the Union
like Georgia during a campaign year.
A woman married a man by the name
of Reason the other day. She has
Numbered fearfully; for, if Mrs. Rea-
son lives up to her name she will be-
com an oddly among her sex, and if
she does not her name becomes a mis-
homer.
In the name of Reason, what did she
mean?
When a man succeeds in working off
a bad quarter why does he feel as if he
had earned a quarter?
The cry in Georgia this summer:
peaches, peaches everywhere, but not
one drop of brandy.
A young woman recently won first
prize for oratory at Cornell. There is
nothing really surprising about this for
the daughters of Eve have ever been
prize winners in talking contests.
"
Mr.. William Rummage married Miss
Mary Sale out in Missouri the other
day. The Rummage-Sale notices were
no fakes that time.
Prince Helie De. Sagan is going to re-
nounce his religion in order to marry
Madame Anna Gould. We are de-
lighted to hear that the noble prince at
least has a religion.
But men do act silly-sometimes.
A New York man killed a little girl
because, he said, God directed him to-;
the sheriff up there will doubtless di-
rect a killing pretty soon.
A Northern girl has started a hum
ming bird farm. We predict a hum
mer crop.
A Texas preacher is advocating re-
form in the present funeral ceremonies,
but he is unable to arouse much inter-
est; no wonder, for nobody is specially
DESTROYS of using the thing, and those
who need it do not specially care.
We are not at all particular about our
ceremony, except something to prevent
it's use.
Greenville has decided to pave her
main streets; so has Greenwood, and
now Newberry is agitating the matter.
Citizens, just see the good of our ex-
ample; soon all these towns around
here will be taking the city of Laurens
as a model.
Speaker Joe Cannon is seventy-two
years old, but no one has accused him
of being in his second childhood.
A New York man gave up his seat in
a street car to a lady and Immediately
dropped dead. Strange how effects
differ on different men.
Our platform: Whiskey drinking is
dangerous to say the least of it, and as
a citizen we refuse to help create de-