Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-10-14

- lNSSNSSSS> \ ~
Mrs. Bildad says that she talks u
her sleep" THAT isn't the worst Of ii,
either. She talks when she is awake
Life.
Actor-Are We alone7 Voice from the
Audience-You would be-if we could
get our money back at the box Once
footlishts.
Pal" We'll, what is 1t now2" spa,
when grow up, how will / keep from
marrying the wrong woman9" "You
won't. Life. ~ "a
Wife What would you like for your
birthday, dear? Husband Nothing at
Oil. I haven't any money.-Meggen.
dorfer Batter.
r Dcctor-You have some sort Of poi
son ip your system. Patient Shouldn't
wonder. What was that last stun you
gave ms?--New York Sun.
Blobbs politician always reminds
me OF plano. slobbs How 30? Blobbs
III he's squared he's considered old fash
Toned. -Philadelphia Record.
She (sentimentally-H like life are
the waves Of the seal HeYou bet.
Come to the shore in great style, ana
60 away broke Sydney Newsletter.
George Gertie has decided to marry
young Multimill. She thinks she can
make something out Of him. Ethel
About how much london Opinion.
Mrs. Benham-As the story goes, Rip
Van Wrinkle slept twenty years. Ben
ham-I wonder IL his breakfast was
ready when he woke Town Topics
Il hardly know my wife by sight
You see. made her acquaintance. at
the masked ball. and now we're travel
Ing In our auto all the time ~ Jugend.
Patience Those two girls dislike one
another, and yet they always kiss when
they meet. Patrice- Yes, 1 suppose each
hopes the other win get the MICROBES
Yonkers Statesman.
The way to get away with anything
IN this world, my boy, lis to stlck to IL
stick to IT. yep. that's the .waytthe
cat got away with the fly paper just
now. Houston Post.
Grimsey-W What is the psychological
momentl Cholly 1t Is when you get a
tip on dead sure thing and do not
happen to have the money to back 1t up
New Orleans World.
Editor-Did you interview the leader
Of the sutfragettes, as instructed? Re
porterI called on her, but she
wouldn't talk. Editor-She wouldn'tl
Was she dead?-Puck.
"Yes," said Mr.. Tambo, II passed
around the hat to-day" "And why" In
qulred Mr.. Bones, did you pass around
the hat2" II had to. It was a merry
widow. Washington Herald.
Blox-Bimberly is exceedingly mod
est, Isn't her Kno1-1 haven't noticed
It. Blox-Well, he never talks about
himself. Knox Oh, that isn't modesy;
it's discreet Chicago News.
Jeweler-Yes, that engagement ring
is plated, but It is warranted for ten
years. Purchaser-Haven you got any
/ I , l.s
thing cheaper, warranted for about ten
weeks Cleveland Plain Dealer.
II started to tell my wife about a
woman who made her own fall gown"
"Wellr' "she capped my story with one
about man who made million col
lars."-Louisyitle Courier journal.
Miss watson-Did Mr.. sark say to
you as entered the, drawlng-room last
night, Clara, els that the beautiful
Miss Watson7" Clara-Yes, dear, with
the accident on the "that. Evening
Post.
II hear you are going to take your
family to Europe Thinking some Of
1T" "How will you go7' "By balloon"
"But that isn't practical" at will be
by the time we get ready Nashville
American.
Merchant-I'll give you a position as
clerk to start with, and pay you what
you are worth. Is that satisfactory
Applicant Oh, perfectly but er-de
you think the Arm can afford it?-Illus-
trated Bits
First Weather Bureau Man-Where's
that nag we hang out when there's go
ing to be fair weather. Second Wealth
er Bureau Man 4 hung 1t out last week
and storm came up and carried It
away.-Philadelphia Bulletin.
Mrs. Mugins My husband is a per-
feet crank Mrs. Bugins-All husbands
are, my dear Mrs. Mugins-Bnt fancy
q man who complains that my mustard
plasters are not az strong as those his
mother used to make.-Stray Stories.
4It's such small chunk Of ice you
tive me for fifty pounds" complained
the housewife. "But notice, ma am, thu
Arm and excellent quality Of It," said
the iceman. .In buying ice your motto
should be Not how much, but how
good. &C Chicago Tribune.
The Customer When bought car
from you a few weeks ago you said you
would be willing to supply a new part
| II 1 broke anything. The Motor Agent
Certainly, sir. What can / have the
pleasure Of providing you within The
Customer want pair of new ankles,
q floating rib, left eye, three yards Of
cuticle, box Of assorted fnger-nails,
four molars. two bicupsids, and fun
ny-bone.-The Sketch.
SULPHUR Bleach for Fruit Stains.
Stained table linen follows the return
| Of the fresh-fruit season as surely ,'as
night follows day" For removing such