davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
Tb. Engineer who Make. Time.

.'They do not run trains so fast in
England, because the engineers know
too much about their engines" said an
engineer who has run an engine IN
that country. I'm England man has
to be a competent machtnist before he
is allowed to run. They say that the
man who knows all about how an en-
CINE is put together knows how deli
cate some OF its parts are. knows how
many dozen and one things there are
liable to break at any minute, hasn't
the nerve to run one Of them eighty Or
ninety miles an hour. The best en-.
too much about their engine-just
know enough to locate the pounding
in a cylinder box or how to uphook her
on one side II she breaks a driving rod
or something that way. That's theory
nearly right.'-Columbus Dispatch.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
The Agents.

+ Viz .
When a large bewhlsker4d agent
comes a-snoopIng to your door, you
can sic the dog upon him, YOU can
pound him with the floor. you may
send for all Your neighbours, who. Il
they are wideawake will quite cheer
fully assist you when you burn him at
the stake, Rut alasl you're left de-
fenseless when the "ladV agent" comes,
when with white bejeweled fingers on
your humble door she drums; for, i
would not do to swat her with the
poker or the broom, and you simply
have TO show her TO your little sitting
room, Then that female lady agent
her old telescope unstraps, and size
shows a loi Of samples OF n lot Of use
less traps and she springs u fearful
story OF misfort,,nes sic has known,
and her sad resigned expression, y
would melt a heart OF stone. and she
soaks you for tenner for a book not
worth wheel, and you hire a hal!
and lecture on THE Itadies' Age Of
Steal.o-Empoyta .(Kan) Gazette,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
RHYMES for To-Day
ANTICIPATING a GOODNESS.

ANTICIPATING a GOODNESS.
rTHE day OF cool weatherShas flown
like feather,
= When seized by a wind from the
back.
The heat OF the summer grows bum.
mar and hummer.
Thermometer Jumps like Jack.
We open the shutters, but no zephyr
flutters.
The sun, only, works---and won't
quit;
And meath every ceiling male persons
are peeling-
AS far as tho game laws permit.
The whole world Is hotter than steam
heated blotter,
The purview boils over with heat;
iced drinks do not cool me. paln1-
leaves only fool me,
Negligee is another deceit.
I search with great vigor, yet find I no
But stay.-Here's thought not
anliss!
My readers this morning will hand
me. with scorninB.
mighty cold welcome on this!
II. S. II.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
TRUSTS.

In an article apparently dictated
rather by peevish and captious hui
NOR than by an earnest desire for
truth, the Charlottesville Progress con-
ricts this paper of being "sympa-
thetic" with the harvester trust, in
particular, and not so friendly to the
farmer as it is to the trusts" in gen
eral. If the Progress had done US
the honor to follow the opinions set
down in these columns from time to
time, we venture that it could hardly
have been betrayed into so glazing an
absurdity.
That American products outsell for
eign products on foreign ground is a
matter of real commercial note. no
matter what are the iniqu!ties OF the
American producers. But the pleasure
which The Times Dispatch expressed
in that fact was wholly incidental.
The point of our recent article, as our
contemporary can hardly have failed
to observe. was in communication OF
The fact that the harvester trust has
Just published full account of its
earnings and expenses. We rejoiced
not that the trust was making money
but that it was making statement
not that it had met success but
that it had been smoked out OF secrecy
into publicity. If that is friendship
to the trusts, then the trusts may
well praM.tp. be-. delivered from thei
Just why the intellect which sway
the destinies of the Progress shoult
suspect us of an overwhelming ad
miration for Messrs. Deering and Nc
Cormick's institution is somewhat diff
ficult to surmise. Our reasons 70
feeling kindly to the Virginia farme
are so much stronger, it seems to us
that even the most persistently suspi
cious of our neghbors should hardl
dismiss them so lightly. AS for tn
tariff built monopolies as a class, GU
opinion of them is in cold print agai
and again, where any one to who1
fairness in criticism appeals may rea
them to surfeit. II the Progress
antipathy for these monopoles. or 1t
expression of that antipathy, has gu,
stripped ours, 1t is a tireless revision
list indeed.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
TWO of a Kind.

1t struck him Just after he gave his
order to have duplicate made OF a
key that 1t would be bad, thing to
give his address, too. Even though the
locksmith might be and probably was
perfectly honest there might be some
might take advantage of knowing his
address to burglarious ends.
So he told the locksmith when the
man asked for the address, Never
mind, I'll call back for IT,.
said: II suppose you're one Of the sns-
plcious ones We get them all the
time in the trade. There are lots OF
folks who won't give vs. their adj
dresses.'-New York sun
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
RAD ROADS COST MORE THAN RAIL-
ROADS EVEN.

The great question In American poll
tics from 1890 to 1885 was that OF IN
ternal improvements made by the Fed
eral government. When this question
was first forced to the front the gov
eminent had already begun Its Eoos
work by appropriatlng $4,000 IN 1906
for the old Cumberland Road. From
then until 1898. when the last APP
preparation was made. the total amount
expended by the government on road
construction was s7.ooo,0oo. Since that
dav road shaking and all that 1t implies
has been left In the hands OF the
states. with the result that to-day
America is cursed with roads that lay
an almost intolerable burden on the
farmer.
In the year 1907 the farmers OF this
country produced crops worth more
than $1,000, 900. 900. They fed and cloth
ed 100000 people at home, and they
shipped abroad s1.ooo,ooo.ooo worth of
goods. which was over half OF the total
exports of this country. and yet the
farmers Of America received only $l0.-
100000 appropriations for the whole
Department OF Agriculture. while the
army and navy alone received forty
times as much. These figures led
Senator Bankhead to investigate the
cost of bad roads to the American pub
lie, and his conclusions are astound-
ing and disheartening.
From careful statistics the total cost
of marketing the corn crop of 19.ooo.-
900 tons for the year 1eo6-'6 was ap-
proximately s2e, In the same
year it cost $21,ooo.ooo to market 49,.
100000 tons of wheat, and 100000 to
market 100000 tons OF cotton. The
total saving that the farmers would
h, e made could they have hauled these
crops over hard roads would have been
s27,0ooooo. which vast sum was as
deliberately wasted as though it had
been burned up.
Viewed from another point, 1t is strik-
ing to notice that though the gross
earnings of the railroads in 1906 were
81 900. 100000. yet. according to Sen.
ator Bankhead, careful estimates show
that the annual cost of hauling over
dirt roads exceeds the gross income OF
the railroads. yet the railroads were
able to save out of this amount s229,-
100000 for dividends. and $6so,0O0,O0t
| for interest, rents, betterments and
| taxes, leaving a surplus OF 100000.
600. In other words the railroads, out
of their gross income OF 100000, 900
spend 1,5oo,O0o,000 in materials and
| cost of operation, while out Of the
farmers $4,000. 100000 every cent was
spent In carrying the goods to market
In protecting our mines and forests, ir
raising better crops and irrigating de.
serts, vast opportunities lie before the
American people, but we know OF none
that offers greater returns or more GER
tain benefits than the development o.
good roads.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
MUCH CRY AND LITTLE WOOL.

To q stranger unfamiliar alike with
our laws and our habit Of exaggera-
ton, the talk Of the injunction plank
in the Chicago platform and the likeli-
hood Of having one in the Denver plat
form would be utterly unintelligible.
The ordinary business man knows that
;nlunctions are issued by Judges when
the complainant fears and the Judge
believes that without the injunction
irreparable damage will be done. In
the history Of our Jurisprudence the
injunction was developed because the
common law found itself unable by
means of damages assessed by juries
10 make good some wrongs that might
be wrought
In modern times tho Injunction has
aroused the special resentment OF labor
,Aaions because these bodies have In
<ne great majority of instances
been unincorporated. and therefore,
financially irresponsible for the dam
sSs they might infliet on others. And
no doubt but that in some instances
ere courts have been harsh in theI,
administration of this power. It ma,
he noted. however. that presiden,
Roosevelt was either unable or I'M,
willing to cite a case of the abuse o.
the power Of Injunction when he wa
specifically asked to DO SO by MI
l.ittlefield, OF Maine.
Also, since the labor unions are OK
ceedlngly we'll organized and Very as
sresslve. they have been able, throug
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
The Merry WIDOWS Rival.

London is going mad over the Rot
tinelli' hat, and certainly for the gtrl
with clear-cut Bottlcelli face. oval
in shape. and framed by thick, heavily
centre, nothing can he more effective,
Let all others beware. however, for
the new hat has a very high crown,
an apology for Il brim, and when 1t is
made OF verdtgris-colored satin, ar
ranged like n high and badly .drapel
hat band OF the typical old clo,' to
which is attached one single inter-
rogatory plume, the eject Is the most
startling Of recent years,-l<snsas CITY
Journal
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
rARAeRArH1o rERr1SESoEs.

A ST. LOUIS editor says the new direc-
~ toire GOWNS DO not expose more OF q
wonlans stocking than is 10 be seen at
q street corner any rainy day. Still. rainy
days may not come often enough FOR some
ST. Louis men.--Wasnington Post.
a French duel with smokeless powder,
noiseless guns, and hitless bullets ough: to
prove safe enough for even the most timld.
Washington Post
No Japanese spy has been caught sketch
ing fortidcations for nearly fortnight but
lest we perish of ennu!. the tarantulas
kindly continue to be imported In punches
of bananas.-Ohio State Journal.
The chief task now laid upon Secretary
Taft Is to emerge. For two years his per-
sonalty has been lost in anothers.-New
York Evening Post.
We hear the tears OF the Hon. Jonathan
Bourne swell the oregon into a ireshet.-
New York Sun.
Henry Watterson says no man can be a
Democrat and a ProhIbitionist at the same
time. II that is so. Democracy must have
suffered some heavy losses lately, for all the
successes of prohibition have been in Demo-
cratic States.-St Paul Dispatch.
The Chicago convention will leave no
scars. Rarely has the Republican party
entered presidential campaign in more
cheerful and confident frame OF mind, OF
with less personal and factional embitter
ment.-NeW York Tribune
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
The Decline in Journalism.

increase in the intelligence and dis
crlmination of the people has In one
way very largely modified the power.
OF the press, Editorial writer's have
by no means such influences as they
are taken more tor the news the, for.
advice as to the lessons which should
be drawn from them, People make moro
allowance now for the bias OF a paper
than they, eyer dia hefore,,,z,secretary
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
STATE PRESS
Borrow Oklahoma law.

Tho new state OF Oklahoma has set an
example In tls particular which me ,, 9tnef
The depositors In It's State banlss have their
deposits guaranteed in much the sans
manner az was sugsest,ed Tor ne , nat, ,nnt
In Oklahoma furnished test case. II Is
reported that the depositors we're pnld OF "
within forty-eisht hours after The failure e. o.
the bank, and the sense OF security was
such that somo depostora who were busy
at their regular work on the farms sent
time IN tho ' near Neu.u Moni-
What May He Doc
Office cannot ask friend TO vote for him,
| cannot treat A constituent on election day.
cannot give a campaign button to his
friend. and cannot say untruthful things
The Editor Ia Awake.
we have heard 1t alleged that Bucklng-
ham 10 under ring rule. but we trust this Is
m!stake--and yet We ara not disposed TO
deceive either ourselves or our readers In
such matter. Our observations, have not
yet been extensive enough to allow us to
make an assertion In regard to the matter.
but we have our eyes wide open--James
River Clarion
Home Of Good Laws.
Oklahoma. the home Of good laws. has
drastic one against the appointing OF
relatives to Office. and, strange to say, the
= hustle the boy over quick and lively.
The little sister is young. but seems to have
been born great" and with wonderful
amount of common sense. Her public SER
wants manage public affairs as Wise as pru-
dent men conduct their private affairs
Would that Congress was composed wholly
OF MISUNDERSTANDING Herald.
Chance for Honest Men,
Speaker Cannon has marked himself for
relegation to the ranks in the next Con-
gress. II Roosevelt. TAFT and their support
by the President and Secretary Tat. at their
recent conferences at the White House.
Alexandria Gazette
Wants Simon Pure.
The Conrad boom, which is altogether OF
artificial growth. does not appeal to us. We
should like much to see Southern man
second on the ticket II he cannot be hrst,
The actual South from among the men who
have shown Craftsmanship under actual test,
like Carmatk, OF Tennessee: Bacon, OF
Georgia. or Culberson. OF Texas.--staunton
Dispatch
Play or the Tie.
It is up to Virginia to defeat Mr.. TAFT
In November so as TO prevent Ohio taking
has held SO long as the Mother Of Presi-
dents.-Clifton FORGE Review.
On to Victory.
There is no man in this ccuntry-Taft
tariff question with Mr.. Bryan from the
Republican viewpoint. and the Republican.
realize that the tariff is the danger poin,
In their situation.
Now is the time for Democrats to get
together. and putting the pas, behind them
turn their faces hopefully to the future and
to vietory.-Petersburs Index-Appeai.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
A link with Dickens.

Perhaps the most interesting. town
outside London associated with the life
ana writings OF Dickens, executing, OF
course Rochester,, is Brondstairs. 1t
is Interesting for different reasons
from those which make Rochester q
famous spot in DiclSensand It has
intimate and lastipg links with -
name of Dickens, for lie resided "
during the summer or autumn mo- ia
from 1897 to 1871 almost WlthoA 9
ak.-p1c Aenslan.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

The Atlanta Georgian speaks of "the
man who founded the Republican
psrty"--doubtless an important figure
in his way. What we want history to
deal fully with, however, Is the man
who foundered the Republican party.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

No trifles like the rise of beef-prices
or the Denver platform can distract
the minds Of our intelligent and many
sided citizens from the performances
of the amazing not to say astounding,
ball team of Richmond.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

We should also like to press upon
the notice of our contemporaries the
superb injunction planked shad OF
Royal Richmond. the whites centre Of
the universe.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

The Washington Post has learned
that plumbers flourished in Crete 400
years ago" Doubtless you would have
to go back to $500 B. c. to strike q
plumber who tailed to flourish.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

After some difficulties, our private
researchers have finally located several
men in this State who had actually
heard of Jim sherman before.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

An observant correspondent suggests
that aspirants for high honors in ma
tional life should plan to arrive by
way Of the Philippines. The careers of
Messrs. Taft, Wright and Brent give
point to this suggestion. and the rapid
multiplication of the Philippines guar
antees ample standing-room for all.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

A Westcnester, Pa. man was arr
rested for stealing an umbrella. the
other day. The plain people no longer
have any rights in Pennsylvania.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

Meanwhile Oyster Bay must slowly
accustom itself to the fact that 1t can
never make much OF a flash with an
ex-President.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

II Taft ever sits in the White Mouse
We can at least rely upon him 10 give
us q calm, judicial opinion Of NV
Policies,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

We take pleasure In scooping the
world with the confident announcement
that the 1912 sladIators will be Hughes
and Johnson.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

What the noseless gun will do IL
people who murder tunes will be q
plenty,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
MERELY JOKING.

Good Man to Have In.
Lets invite him into oar game"
still, he's always loser."-Kansas City
Journal.
That Painful Leg.
"Barney's, wooden leg has been pain1ns
him OF late" said scholes ,o his s,, wife:
me- Mrs. Barney ha. been .hra.hns him
with It," was the explanation."-Judse's
Library.
They DO It Here. anyway.
"a wife can do much TO make home
Yes answered Mrs. rorklns: "Bu. II
Is a pity she can't exert an influence that
will enable the home ball club to win al
the Observation-Disclosures Star
As Styles Change.
You favor larger shirs for the navy"
ooh, much larger" replied the expert.
But what shall, we do with our present
them?''
"Tho.e toys? Hoist EN- aboard and use
them as Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
Made Chance.
"Poor man! Have YOU always been
blind?"
"N9; num-; answered Tired ed, Trims, Nm s1,;
dere wuzn't cnur in it."-washinEton Her.
aid.
The Drama in Plunkvillc.
THE heroine was tied to a buzz.saw an
the hero was locked in a dungeon. B'sosh
thought her time had come"
"And what saved herr"
Just then the sheriff walked in an
levied on the scenery. IT. broke up the
show, but that was better n seem the sal
sawed in tr'ain."-Louisville Courier-Jour-
nal.
Verbal Bracer
MY WIFE" said the first clubman, cal.
ways mixes me a cocktail when ! so home
feeling trazzled."
You're in luck" declared the second
clubman. THE best get Is chin fizz."-
Washington Herald.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

Mr.. Fairbanks not only failed to bag
nomination, but he had no Kindly
Brother Charles
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

Wanted, fcw good mothers for
IaHorlte sons recently bereayed,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

sunday was the longest day in the
?eaV. as Phil Knox probably noticed.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
The Editor Ia Awake.

we have heard 1t alleged that Bucking-
ham Is under ring rule. but we trust this Is
a mistake-and yet We ara not disposed to
deceive either ourselves or our readers In
yet been extensive enough to allow US to
make an assertion In regard to the matter.
but we have our eyes wide open.-Janes
River Clarion
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
What May He Dor

In Oregon now a candidate for public
Office cannot ask friend TO vote for him,
cannot treat constituent on election day,
cannot give a campaign button to his
friend, and cannot say untruthful things
about his Observation-Disclosures News.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

We hear the tears of the Hon. Jonathan
Bourne swell the Oregon into freshet.-
New York Sun.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23

Good Man to Have In.
Lets invite him into our game"
ooh, he's hard loser"
"still, he's always a loscr."-kansas City
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-06-23
THE nAcKsrAMp1sG QUESTION.

ro.morrow-The Hydrophobla Sea
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-04-30
The Story ofa Medicine.

It's name-rGolden Medical Discovery .
was suggested by one Of It's most Import
ant and valuable ingredients - Golden
Seal root.
Nearly forty years ago, DR.. Pierce dis.
covered that he could, by the use Of pure,
triple-refned glycerine, aided by q GER
tain degree of constantly maintained
heat and with the aid OF apparatus and
appliances designed for that purpose, ex-
tract from our most valuable native me-
dicinal roots their curative properties
much better than by the use of alcohol,
30 generally employed. So the now world
famed Golden Medical Discovery" for
the cure of weak stomach, indigestion. or
dyspepsia. torpid liver, or biliousness ard
kindred arrangements was hrst made, as
It ever SINCE has bsen, without particle
Of alcohol IN its maHe-up.
ents, printed % >syefy 6ottle-wrapper,
will show that 1t is made from. the most
valuable medicinal roAts\f found growing
IN our American forestAS AL these in
gradients have received the Str0lgest or:
d6TsemenE from the leading -meaicaI -e&:
RertSI teachers And -Hrl rltecS-on- HGtcl1L
NCdlcl who recnppcpd- Iben2&t tb.a- .-I-eSZy. %-esSZ
best Ielnedies for tue diseases IoE Gllc,l
"OOlNt.n Nlt5llCl1-tl ~ y 49,.
A little book Of these endorsements EdJ
been compiled by DR.. r. V. Pierce, Of
Buffalo, n. Y, and will be mailed free TO
any one asking same by postal ca. or
letter addressed 70 the Doctor as above.
From these endorsements, copied from
standard medical hooks Of all the differ
ent schools Of practice, 1t viii be found
that the ingredients composing the n Gold
en- Medical Discovery" are advised not
only for the cure Of the above mentioned
diseases, but also for the cure OF all ca
tarrhal, bronchial and throat affections,
accompanied with catarrhal discharges,
hoarseness, sore throat, lingering, OF
hang-On- coughs, and all those wasting
affections which, if not promptly and
properly treated are liable to terminate
In consumption. Take DR.. Picrce'S Dis
covery in time and persevere in its use
until you give II fair trial and 1t is not
likely TO disappOint TOO much must not
be expected OF il. 1t will not perform
miracles. 1t will not cure cOnSumptioD
IN its advanced stages NJ medicine will.
It tCiLL cure the affections that lead up t1
consumption. II tGkeIl In time.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-04-30
Cured of Rheumatism.

Mr.. VIM. Henly of Chattanooga,
Temp, had rheumatism in his left arm.
''The strength seemed to have gone ou'
Of the muscles 30 that it was useless foI
work" be ssys. 81 applied Chamber
lsin's Pain Balm and wrapped The arm
in flannel at night, and TO my relief
found that the pain gradually lett me-
and the strength returned. In three
weeks the rheumatism had dissppearet cd
and has not since returned" If troubled
with rheum atism try q few applications
of Pain balm. You are certain TO bt
pleased with the relief which it sffOrds.
For sale by w. F. Creighton and Rich
ard Gibson.
Alexandria gazette. [volume] (Alexandria, D.C.) 1834-1974, 1908-04-30
To Attend Marriage.

Stockholm, Sseden, April SO.-KinG
Gustav sailed has for ReVale, Russif,
whence hc will travel by trsin to 81.
Petersburg to attend the marriage May
9 of Prince Wilhelm Of aeden to the
Grand Du,hess Marie Parlovns, Grsnd
Duke Paul Altxandroeiich's daughter.
His m6jesty Is escorted by a Swedish
squadron. Messages from 81. Peters
burg FAY Russian tOrpepo lOtilla has
sailed to meet him at sea and accompany
him TO Revsle. The original plan wss
for him to land at Oronstsdt but The
Gulf of Finland is not yet clear enough
of ice to permit the voyage there. Prince
Wilhelm sailed last evening on The
steamship Wellamo. The marriage will
take place in the Cars palace at Tssrso-
SelO.