The Washington herald., 1908-01-03
BURKETT FALLS OFF WAGON
Temperance Senator Inveigled Into
Breaking the Pledge.
and a New Years Pilgrimage
Lead to HIS UndOing.

Senator Burkett has been initiated into
the mysteries Of that seductive and salts
Tying beverage, eggnog. He says it's
| pretty good stuff, as well as he can judge.
/ his taste not having been cultivated along
the line OF intOxicants-but never again
This and some other things resulted
from merry pilgrimage which the Three
BIS Of Nebraska made on New Years
Day The Three BIS, as you perhaps
know, are Senator Brown, Senator
5urkett, and Representative Boyd, all
/ the acme of sobrlety. They are not par
ticularly strong on society, so remember
| ing that classic phrase which runs. In
union there is strength" they decided TO
make their New Years calls together.
Some jokers, who claim to have been pres
ent in several instances when the Three
! b s made their entrance into swell draw
| ing-rOoms. declare that there was an eyi-
dent desire on the part Of each Nebraskan
10 be the hindmost. which resulted in
! much strategic maneuvering to get back OF
each other However. this asperslon upon
the courage OF the gentlemen in question
Is dismissed with contempt by those who
know them best. II Is believed that their
modest efforts 20 dodge the appearance
Of being too forward. and certain Al
phonse-Gaston politeness, which led each
to insist upon according precedence to the
others, were the bases Of this otherwise
unfounded calumny.
But to get back 10 the eggnog. The
Three BIS at one Of the way stations on
their extensive route wandered In due
course back TO the refectory. where all
the varieties OF cheer known 70 New
Years Day were being dispensed by
liveried !ackeys. And either by accident
or by design. Senator Burkett was steered
right up 70 center table. whereon re-
posed In state that main feature of New
Years decorations. the punchbowl
Ere this tale proceeds. It should be
stated plainly and firmly. as the Senator
himself would state il. that. although
Senator Burkett does occasionally in
dulge in the filthy weed. he is strictly
temperance.
The polite guardian Of the flowing bowl
asked the Senator If ne would have
some" The Senator took a look, and
what he saw IN the bowl was so like
floating island, a post-prandial concoc-
ton Of which he is fond that he couldn't
resist.
Yes" he said. 4 believe I will"
That sounded like the proper formula
to the liveTied guardian, so he ladled out
a heaping bumper
You forgot to give me a spoon" re-
marked the guest. in an aggrieved tone
OH said voice at his elbow, which
the Senator now believes to have been
that Of an active gentleman who Is said
TO go about hunting for opportunities to
inveigle the unsophisticated into pitfalls,
you don't need a spoon-just drink II
down"
A glance about him failed TO disclose
the Identity of his informer, but showed
him that nobody else was using the
spoon in assimilating the "hoating
island" so he followed the advice and
drained his glass.
He thought it tasted somewhat strong,
but not being versed IN the distilling in
dustTy, he didn't know Just why untf
somebody told him. And now some
facetious persons say he's undecided
whether 20 take the pledge again or go
back and tip the waiter