Morris tribune., 1908-03-07

And when he sees them lurking there,
He'll guess their fell intent
And run just like his friends all hope
He'll run for President.
The candidates Republican will
pass the stand again, and the portlY
form of Mr.. Taft will show hand
some gain; the whiskerlets of Mr..
Hughes will float upon the breeze, the
fleet that sailed Magellan's Straits
will cruise the western seas; the in
FAINT boom of Cortelyou will grimly
WELD the ghost, and the fleet will run
the banquets on the other Latin
coast.
Another lot of foreign counts, and
busted sports and old, will come
across to marry more of our dead
easy gold; count will marry mil
lion cool, and discount two or three,
and gold and girl (and horse laugh
loud) they'll all put out to sea; and
while the Goulds give Boni one-just
,one-more chance, alack, We'll all steal
off and kick ourselves quite low
down on the back.
THE country papers will get used
To Uncle Sans mandate
THAT they may not hold readers who
Are not paid up to date
But the Government will not assist
At squaring things, somehow,
With old subscribers made so mad
They never will pay now.
March was the first month IF the
Roman year, and was named from
Mars the god of war. Mars looked
like a twin brother to Richard P. Hob
son, and he was the regular Roman
delegate to the Peace Conference at
The Hague. He was supposed 60 be
the father of Romulus, the founder of
Rome, but he was not: he was only
the young mans godfather. In an
.cient warfare it was customary to
place a good bronze bust of Mars on
the field and then fight for it.
The comedy of life will be about
what it has been-the men will labor
day and night. and the wives of men
will spin. They'll have a club for
every day, and never cease to go;
Shey'n learn to talk of many themes
their husband do not know; they'll
hear a lecturer from Greece, another
ON Japan, another on the Renaissance,
anu several on man; they'll hired
OF Of long haired freaks to make them
erudite, they'll work on papers every
morn, and look up things at night;
and their husbands will get supper
cold and suffer ridicule-and the
children will grow up like wolves,
while Mamma goes to school.
The money indiscreetly loaned
Will faithfully keep Lent,
And lady teacher will sit on
The pin when it is bent;
But when the principal responds
To screams heard through the house
She'll not tell what happened, but,
Will say she saw mouse.
Until the 21st, March will be under
the influence of the zodical sign
known as Pisces the Fish Pisces will
induce his relative, Stuyvesant Fish,
to take the Illinois Central fight into
the U. S. Supreme Court, where E. II.
Hartman will be ditched with two
bum lamps, derailed back bone, and
"a swift kick in the caboose.
After the 21st, March will be under |
the influence of Aries, the sign of the
Head. Under this sign, old heads will
como to the front in the presidential
race, and Uncle Cannon Joe will come
out of last place and make the Presi-
dent pat two more burrs in the
spacious bosom Of Mr. Taft's pants. I
Persons born under Pisces drink
Ike fish and vote wet. They make
excellent subordinates, like Friday
and Loeb. They can say no, and it is
futile to expose them to any more j
life insurance, for they won't take it. 1,
They are very cautious, and always |!
lake seats near the fire escape.
Pessons born under Aries always
think before speaking, and than never
say anything. They are good or
panizers and generally belong to the
Anti Saloon League. They make
good lawyers, and generally get the
ease continued until they can elect
she prosecuting attorney.
The Vernal Equinox will come,
Aud the Irish will parade;
The booming bullfrog will resume
His music in the glade.
The mole will burrow in the lawn,
And the rash duck hunter foot
His caller while pneumonia drills
FAtieak Role in his boot.
And.thee the gentle spring will
come and the poet will essay, with
II