davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

simply equalized rates. Some railways
had established the 2-cent rate for
large part of their business; some were
carrying excursions for less. The average
rate was a little less than cents mile.
So that If the Iowa roads adhere close
" to the legal rate, instead CT less than
2 cents a mile. they viii get cents; In
other words. the rate per passenger per
mile will be a tride higher than II was
before the nominal legal reduction in the
rate The same thing has happened in
Ohio, where the figures published by the
State railroad commission show that the
rate per passenger per mile has beer but
slightly affected by the reduction OF fares
to 2 cents. I'm some cases having been
actually increased. Thus the effect Of
the low fare legislation IN two States has
been simply to equalize rates, TO make
everybody pay the same rate of fare. and
to cut out favorltism In the way of passes
and excursions
Of course. the equalization of fares may
be a desirable end in itself. but it is
worth noting that II does not accom-
pllsh as much for the public as the poll
ticlans would have US believe. The public
is paying as much 10 the railroads as
before, but the total burden Is somewhat
differently distributed. From this poiat
of view. much Of the cheap-fare agita-
ton sounds like mere humbug. on the
other hand if rate reductions work out
everywhere substantially as they have
to equalize rates and 10 redistribute the
cost of transportation more evenly among
railroad patrons, we fail TO see what
ground the railways have for raising the
cry Of confscation.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
TAMPERING WITH TRIPLES.
From the Houston Post.
THE ANXIOUS PERIOD.

On nOiseless, careful tippytoe
AdOwn the halls OF night,
Through all the world fond mothers go
And there's a way-down light
Left burning near the chidren's bed,
And mother DER each tousled head
Bends low, and smoothes the little spread
Then tiptOes out Of sight.
But when the baby kicks or turns.
Again she hurries there.
Where faint and dim the night laml
burns,
And with look of care
Again she bends above the wee,
Sweet babe who sleeps so restlessly,
And covers up the dimpled knee,
And strokes the yellow hair.
'Oh. dear" she whispers anxiously.
With features tense and drawn,
With straining eyes intent 70 see
The first faint streaks OF dawn.
Il viii be glad when fruits and pies
And all these things that babies prize
And all that so attracts their eyes
Are eaten up and gomez
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
when Rogues FAN ONT.

From the Detroit News.
And now the Michigan beet growers
are kicking because the terrified sugar
trust doesn't pay them enough for their
beets. What do the beet growers know
about tariffs and finance?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
working for worlds Betterment

From the Boston Post
In the advancement Of the people in this
twentieth century. the human sentiment
holds the foremost place. Invention, en-
terprise. have their influence. but it is in
their application to the betterment Of the
conditions Of life that their results are to
beFregarded It is clear that humanity is
striving to bring fn a better day, and 70
this end we may all lend our best effort
confident of success through the promise
of what has been secured in the present.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
The Insanity Plea.

From the Portland Oregcuian.
1t would not be surprising If sheriffs
everywhere in the United States should
begin to ask themselves: What is the
use? Why take the trouble to appre-
bend a murderer, since he is pretty GER
tain to be released upon some technical
ity or by proving that he is insane %
The lawyers have invented so many diff
ferent kinds Of insanity that il is a most
unusual murderer whom none of them
will apply TO, And In the rare case when
none Of the accepted varieties viii fit
they can always invent new one.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

his name. ID. A. D.
He is not a native OF
Missouri. but first
saw the light on a
farm IN Blair County,
Pa, sixty three years
ago. Since the Fifty
second Con gre S S
Representative d G
Almond has repre-
scented the Sixth dis
trict Of Missouri, and
is looked upon as one
OF the leaders OF the
Democratic party In
TIE House, For a
number Of years he
has desired the place
as minority leader.
but as yet his ambi-
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

The Mikado's recent speech from the
throne was so short it only required eight
minutes TO read it in Parliament The
Mikado. however, iabors under the i'm
preston that only a small fraction of the
worlds business Is his business.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

From the Rochester Times
II anybody ever supposed that the
Philippines would get generous tariff
treatment from the American Congress,
we guess that by this time he has seen
his mistake. Generosity in the matter of
tariff duties isn't a WashIngton speciality.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

From the New YORK Herald.
The decision of Michigan judge that
cereals and water are adulerants when
used IN sausages will at least help to
clear up the mystery Of what sausages
are really made Of.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
Refrenchinr-

old Scads is in a tight place, I fear -
What makes you think so?"
Hes doing everything possible 10 cut
expenses"
Hadn't heard OF IT,
It's 50; he's broken the engagement be-
tween his daughter and Lord Muffin
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
takes No Chances.

From the Utica Observer.
First Autoist-smithson takes his whole
family with him now every time he goes
out in his automobile.
second Autoist-I reckeh he's afraid n
he didn't he might run over some OF them
by mistake.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

From the Baltimore American.
An expert in Chicago has discovered
that every man can be his own dynamo.
This may account for the faculty which
some people have evolved of continually
giving shocks to others
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Better come to our church next Sun
day We have woman whistler and
performer on the musical glasses
No" said the siangy person. When
I 60 10 church. I stick TO the old-fash-
toned legit"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
Exempt from Common FatI,ne

From the pittsburg Press,
There is one man who never breaks A
resolution, towit: The man who never
makes any.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
The Modern VersIon

From the New York Mail
What the governor Of North Carolina
really said to the governor Of South
Carolina was. ITS a long time between
receiverships. Then the legislatures got
busy and the great axe fell on the Sea-
board Air Line
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

eifc feet, to dragon the lawmakers into
voting much larger appropriations than
would be forthcoming under ordinary cir
eumstances.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
His Hard Lot.

An ex-President doesn't cut much ice''
That's SC"
Even the anecdotes that went with
him are tackled onto some fiedgling star"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

A sensational Atlanta preacher was
forced to substitute the smashing OF an
empty whisky bottle on the floor Of his
church to mark the advent of prohibition
rather than a full one because Of a law
against carrying intOXicants to a place Of
worship. He came out ahead Of the
game, however; he saved the price Of the
whisky and got the advertising just the
same
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

People say that Englishmen have no
Wit. but one Of them has referred 10
Admiral Evans as "Rojestvensky H. and
that strikes as as a pretty good joke,
Think of the Russian being called Fight
ing Rof2"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
Financial wisdom.

From the Pittsburg Post.
Nothing could exceed the wisdom Of
the statesman who asserts, we need a
flexible currency" and then subsidies.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

From the New York Press.
HOWELL promised TO write TO my wife
every day while she was away.
Powell-Are you doing IL?
Howeu-Sure! The first day I dictated
A letter 10 my stenographer and told her
to be sure to mail a copy each day.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
nc Changing FashIons.

She takes. dear heart, her gown apart.
and slsshes, outs and rips. For gowns,
they state. in 1893. will not run much to-
former styles Of architecture
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Some one is trying to start an II. Clay
Evans boom for Vice President down IN
Tennessee. Doubtless II would nj IN very
we'll with the Henry Cabot Lodge Presi-
Dental boom
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
CAPITOL GOSSIP.

Hon. David Albaugh De Almond, Con-
gresham from Missouri, Is the father Of
the delegation from that State. and that
fact is aptly signihed by the initials Of
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
Fond for ThanEht.

DO you believe in Santa Claus, son?'
Il dunno"
"How's that?'
well. Christmas night Santa Claus
whiskers ketched fire, an pas been
wearin' his face bandaged ever since; !
amt quite figgered il out"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

THE water wagon, it appears has
never broken down because of overload
ing" says the Chicago Record-Herald
This may be due in part to the fact that
riders always dispose of their loads be-
fore climbing on.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

The Milwaukee Sentinel calls attention
10 report Of the Presidents recent hunt
in Virginia which reads, The President
shot a turkey and a rabbit, one Of them
on the wing" Well. but which one?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
some skIII Needed.

4 don't care for hunting. l seldom find
game. and when I find II seldom hit IT,
I have no luck"
We'll, II one has 20 depend entirely
upon luck, hunting is a poor sport"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

AT a first glance that new gift to Chi
CagO University OF S21g1, 900 looks like
So. 10000 " says the New York Evening
Post And even at second glance it prob
ably looks as much like it as anything
else win ever look like tiff It's the pay
ing of that fine to which the Post refers
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
Like ships that Pass in the Night.

Il spoke 10 your father to-day"
Did You? What did he say?"
Same as I did"
THE same as you did,"
Yep HOwdy-dO. "
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Nebraska presents William Jennings
Bryan, Florida presents William James
Bryan. and now comes Texas with Will
tam John Bryan. Is this thing 10 be-
come epidemic?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

The thing we hate the most about this
season Of the year is the fellow who Is
always coming IN with a lot of statistics
10 prove that 1907 was or wasn't some
thing more or less than 1905
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

The Brownsville inquiry has cost some
thing over $4,000 so far. Some people
buy books, others buy cigarettes; but it
takes Uncle Sam to buy gold bricks
habituallY.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
Unhealthy for a Panic.

From the Louisville Courer-Journsl
The fact is the United States enjoys
such prosperity that panic cannot long
survive in the midst of it,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

The King of Denmark is credited with
a desire TO visit President Roosevelt. Let
him come by all means; we promise that
our enthusiastic souvenir hunters will at
least leave the armoT plate and the big
guns on any war vessel he may elect to
use for his transportation
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

The new economic woman's hotel in
New York is called the Emeline Yorke-
Tyndall Working Girls Hotel" SAYS the
Chicago Post. That sounds like the title
of one Of Laura Jean Libbeys novels.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
MethodieaI.


From Punch.
I'll is said. doctor, that you treated
,o,,r landlord for liver trouble and he
died of stomach troublef
..Tnfamous slanderi When I treat a
natient for liver trouble, he dies from
that Understand
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

The Presidents toast to Admiral Dewey
was all right-'To the man who has done
more for and reflected greater glory on
America than any other man now living"
SAN, We can prove it by Mr.. Loeb that
there may be at least two exceptions
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
Door Open, Gate Closed.

From the Pittsburg Dispatch.
The japanese still stand for the open
door in Manchuria: but 1t is further IN
derstOod that they also stand by the
front gate with sastigbt clutch on it.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

In these days of frivolity.
And splurging and of dress,
Who is not worth a million
Is thought TO he worthless.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Miss Vera Fedorovina Kommisarjew-
skaya. Russia's leading actress. is tc tour
this country. In these days of paper
trusts it is hard on managers to be forced
TO enlarge their programmes for the ac-
commOdation OF the ladys name
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
Forget II.

From the Chicago Record Herald.
1t is to be hoped that one year from
to-day nobody will care much who or
what started the panic
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
A Feat,

DO YOU imagine it possible for a camel
to go through the eye of "A needle?''
oh, I wouldn't be surprised. You know
how large my wife ISL
Yes"
Well she goes through my pockets
regularly"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Napoleon" Delmas will be conspicuous
by his absence in the next Thaw trial;
in this way, doubtless, Mr.. Thaw hopes
to avoid another Waterloo
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

one OF the evil effects Of prohibition in
Georgia is already apparent. Dozens Of
people are writing poetry in the news
papers about II.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Still. If you quit smoking on New Years
Day. It helps some 20 feel that you
haven't had a weed in your mouth since
last year., doesn't il?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
Something of His

Your daughter says she is something
OF an athlete?
Yes. she's the fancee Of a football
player"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

In the meantime. however. Georgia
crackers" find themselves neatly tucked
in between Chattanooga and Jacksonville
GASES.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
No Takers.

From the New YORK Press
Geraldine hear that you made a bet
that l would accept you.
Gerald-I tried to. but ! couldn't md
any takers.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
It,a No .Ioke.

From The Chicago Tribune.
After a man has become personally ac-
ouainted with the grip he ceases to joke
about It.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

II this country ever goes Democratic
perhaps the Hon. JEFF Davis may be
able TO get the remaining six little Da-
yises up to the pie counter
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Congress meets again tomorrow, the
majority grizzly resolved TO work as hard
as Il knows how not to do anything
worth mentioning pending the Presiden-
tial excitement
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Fifteen minutes on the stage often
seems a month to me-" says an actor.
Doubtless It Is even worse on his audi
eucp
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Evidently Kentucky is just naturally
loath to give up the idea of trying Caleb
Powers every year.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
Pipe Dreams.

From The New York Mail.
Joe liked fairy stories" says Gov
Folks mother of his interesting youth. he
still hears 'em from the Folk Boomers.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
The Meter.

While the gas
Holds out to burn
It's wheels, alas,
Must turn, turn, turn.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

The Richmond Times Dispatch says the
upper berth Is under the limelight" AS
matter of fact, it is just under the roof
and very near the gaslight.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
NC Comic nnern.

They called it in 1905. libretto and score:
IN 1906, words and music; in 1907, chatter
and tunes; in 1908. driyel and slush.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

The idea of Count Bonboni acting In
such an unladylike mannerI
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
Dangerous

you ought TO go home" said the
patrOlman.
"Gadzookst'
Better leave him alone, Bill advised
the other patroIman. Hes one Of them
historical novelsls"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

From the Chicsgo News
A husband is a convenience about the
house. Il a woman can afford one.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

The Norfolk Landmark has an editorial
on Where Secretary Taft Slipped Up"
The seismograph should show.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
HOW TO CRITICIZE.

If you would be a music sharp,
Then do as I advise.
List to the fiddle or the harp
And look exceeding wise.
Then shake your head and murmur:
Hum
I think he slurred the tempo some"
When the pianist hangs the keys
Assume a knowing pose.
Twiddle your fingers, cross your knees,
And elevate your nose.
And when he's done. remark: II think
His executions on the blink"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Col. John Temple Graves greeting to
1908 was headed New Years FulIness. "
It was bad enough for the colonel to
move out after stirring up all that prohi-
bition rumpus down South, but that edito-
rial was adding insult 10 injury.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

This country never had but one Presi-
dent Johnson, and 1t is pretty well agreed
that he didn't have a fair chance.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Why. howdy. Winter: where've you
been2
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Flower in the craunied vail.
/ pluck sou 0ut Of the Crauniss-
Hold y0u here r1ot and ALL IN ms hand.
Little flower but # ] could understand
What ym are. root and al, and al In al,
I should know shat God and man is
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

An Arkansas minister says Satan en-
courages people 10 go fishing" Some
preachers seem bent upon making a
pretty good fellow out of Old Nick.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-01-05

Former Gov. John II. McGTaw, OF
Washington, ore Of the best-known men
in the Northwest, who is at present en-
gagged. heart and soul. in making the
Alaska Pacific Exposition, which
is TO be held in Seattle in 1909. a big
success, was at the New Willard last
night.
Gov McGraw believes Congress will
surely indorse the big Coast exposition.
and thinks the bill appropriating a little
more than 81. 100000 for government build
ings and exhibits will pass at this session.
Perry Heath, former First Assistant
Postmaster General of the United States,
was al the New Willard last night.
The San Francisco call., 1908-11-17
BALLOON is RACING
OVER THE CONTINENT
United States" Hovers Over
Los Angeles for Two Hours
Awaiting Breeze

Los ANG GELES. Nov. IA MESA ge
received by the Associated Press in
this city at S:S5 tonight makes it ap-
pear that the big racing balloon United
States is going TO make a transcon-
tinental race against time after all
The message came from Seeley fats.
on the summit of the San Bernardino
mountains. and says that the United
States had passed over Victorville and
Barstow and was going east over the
desert
The United States. which ascended at
1890, is racing against time for a long
distance record in balloon flights. the
other racer, America. having come TO
earth at $3.50 this morning at Man
haitian. scarcely 20 miles from the
starting place. after having been up
for II hours and having Travelled over
$50 miles, mostly in circles. Twice the
America was over the ocean and the
occupants of the basket We're in immi-
nent danger OF dropping into the water.
The United States hOvered over the
city for two hours after starting it's
flight this afternoon. but finally caught
a good easteriy wind and sailed away.
The San Francisco call., 1908-11-17
"SHAME on YOU FOR
AIDING CRIMINALS"
IS PLACARD'S WARNING

That the citizens of San Francisco
intend 10 put an end 10 the insidious
methods which have been employed by
the higher ups" to create feeling
against those who have been instru-
mental in bringing to the bar of JUS
tice the bribers. perjurers, jury nNerS
and assasSinS WaS shown yesterday.
when Walter +. Vail OF the ProNldent
life and trust company distributed
throughout the city a placard on which
was printed shame on you. IL your
talk is lending aid and comfort to
criminals"
Among those who indorsed the SEN
timents on the cards were the Patrick
company. dealers in rubber stamps.
The expression used at this place was
Good. Good. The official in charge OF
the Standard gas engine company said
that he would like to have cards
enough to put them all over the store.
A card was Immediately put on the
desk at the Vegetarian restaurant in
Market street
One Of the most enthusiastic Fecep-
tiOns was that given Vail by the
Standard scales company, 52I Market
street. the partner in charge declaring
that the card expressed their idea eX-
actly.
Ny sentiments have always been
with the graft prosecution, because
they are right" was the expression
given by the California hydraulic en-
gineering supply company
The National cash register people
said That's right" while the Union
cash register officials declared that
they would be glad 10 put them all
over the store
The II. :. Crocker store had one Of
the cards up last night and the man
in charge said that he gladly put it
up. as the wording on the card suited
him. because il was right, and no
good citizen should think of aiding a
criminal in any way"
selves in unmistakabIe terms and
asked Vail 10 see that they We're sup
piled 50 that those who had been try
ing every desperate means to defeat
the ends OF justice might learn that
such a condition of affairs would nor
be tolerated in this city