The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-03-18
Selected as a Burnt Offerinu,

al.
Selected as a Burnt Offering.
Most colleges have fake commence
ment programmes that roast the digni-
fed professors. trustees. students and
everybody worth roasting. The M of
June, 1866, at Denison was especially
notable. 1t changed the Junior class
exercises into a bowling farce and
made the stately trustees 80 chokingly
wrathy that there had to be a victim.
Harm0n's earmarks were all over the
fake programme, so he was selected as
the burnt Offering to appease the an
ger Of the powers that were.
The fact that Harmon had been left
OF and was not to receive his sheep
skin did not dawn on the audience till
e the close Of the exercises. It was
a mean and small way Of getting even
and created an uproar Of protest.
Harmon. Harmoni" went I'D the
shouts from all sides, and In the midst
Of the turmoil the faculty completed
the ceremony and died out through 4
side door. Thereupon the student body
and alumni hastily convened and
passed resolutions after the good old
American way. Whenever two or
three Americans get a grievance there
Is the resolution In the midst of them.
They as naturally run to "whereases"
and oratory as an Italian vendetta
does to sulettos or an Irish fair to
shillalahs.
The Dension students and alumni re-
solved that Jud Harmon should be
graduated without waiting for the aid
or consent of any other nation on
earth. The faculty refused. The stu
dents %therenpon resolved to strike, boy
colt the institution and to do all the
dire things that could suggest them
selves to an excited body of young
men. This made a dent in the faculty,
and after some further embarrassing"
and resolving" consent was given that
Harmon might graduate.
The next day when the
was to take place the student body got
out a brass band, formed q procession,
escorted Harmon to the haI like a con-
quering hero and after he received the
coveted sheepskin "ruh-rahed' all the
rest Of the day and into the beginning
Of the next. The spirit Of the Declara-
ton of Independence got in its work
On that student body in fine style.
What chance had a mere board of
college trustees before a force that had
walked all over kings and thrones?
With such a start in life there is no
wonder that Jud Harmon's friends
think he is endowed with certain in
alienable rights, among which are life,
liberty. the pursuit of happiness and
the right to run for president.
One of the Home Guard.
1t was shortly before this stirring
revolt against the tyrant that young
Harmon had his war experiences. lIuv-
ing martial ardor and being a preach
er's son do not so together. Young
Harmon found ii so. and when he
would a soldier be he discovered that
was his father. Not caring to gain mil,
itary in such a hard way. he
relinquished his dreams. He did run
away from home. however, to join the
home guard. that gallant body which
went to repel Generals Kirby Smith
and john Morgan. Like the king OF
France, the Aome guard marched up
the Hill and then marched down again.
Unlike Caesar. it came, it saw, it scam.
pered.
After participating in this valiant
feat at arms young Harmon had an
actual warlike bout with his father.
III this celebrated battle the weapons
We're shingles, and only one side was
armed. The late member Of the home
guard was totally and disastrously
defeated, after which he was bundled
off TO school. The warlike spark was
not entirely quenched, but 1t had to
blaze into %eloquence rather than into
valor. Young Harmon made one speech
on the college campus which was so
filed with fiery patriotism it is re-
membcred to this day. Bryan Is not
the only boy orator.
Like al Ohio men and some others,
Mr.. Harmon is al optimist. 1t is hard
err to be an optimist now than it was
six months ago, but so far as heard
from Judge Harmon Is still sticking.
That eminent but intermittent Cincin-
NATHAN. William Howard Taft, Is like.
wise as optimist. All men are who
weigh owe 300 pounds.
One thing in Judge Harmon's favor
is his name-it is 50 much like har.
mony. If there is n thing the Demo.
cratic party "long has sought and
mourned because" it found It not
that one thing is harmony. II a radi.
cal is nominated, the conservatives
knife him; if a conservative Is nomi-
mated. the radicals knife him, and II
betwixt and between man Is nomi
mated they jump on him both ways
from the middle.
Judge Harmon is even more of an
athlete than President Roosevelt. He
has a hand and foot as big as Jeffries
and hits almost as hard. He Is also q
good shot. and, while he does not hum
bears with a brass band, is not with.