The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-09-10

S0eL NHtA a0t NhC eNhh'AHOA 5AAh Figure up and see what your vacation cost you. A Montgomery man said yesterday that a woman's mouth was a mere in- cident. (Well. we will consider the in. cident elosed--but 1t never is.) Say. what is the poor sheath skirt winter begin to blowz Hey? A Kansas man stole 500 sets of false teeth. In delivering his sentence may the judge have delicacy of feeling enough to refrain from indulsing In bit- ing sarcasm. while we have the roiseiess gun, ths wireless telegraph and the painless dentistry. we also have and shall never get rid of the brainless idiot. poor they can't leave a falr-sized iibrs- " to posterity in the way. of a co1- lection of souvenir postcards. None but the brave deserve the fair in this age of high prices and that's no joke.
 DO women answer the call of fash ion?" asks writer. Inyariably-when Fashion calls they are always at home. While an Ohio woman was cooking doughnuts the other day one of them exploded and seriously. wounded her. Good thirg. howevs:, 1t didn't explode after some one had eaten It. A Cleveland man says that women need whipping sometimes just like horses" Such a man deserves to be married to hefty woman, who'd re- turn the compliment with interest "A New. York man 1Os years old is going to be married again." says The Seems at that age a man ought to know better.
 Amateur--I have a song here, sir, which I think will take" Publisher--Will take someone with less business experience than have had to hapdie for you-good day" recently and demanded s1, ,060. GOO, say. Ing she used to be Mrs. Roosevelt's cook. No doubt she got it--these cooks are such autocrats.
 My dear, you didn't seem at ali frightened when that horrid grizzly bear growled at you up fin the Rockies "oh, well, you see my husband ai- ways growled so much at the cooking at home that I was used to it." It's all right to be hopeful. but don't get so dAzzled over future prospects that. you are blinded to the necessities of the present.
 flew to the line, let the poker chips fall where they may. Dosesi ADy Spt pa,y w0T{yns ts s Rupl t1 @ oa5 American just returning from abroad. The only split that seems to be wor- rying. the public at present" replied his tH kn .L. afrt t-k "pld you ever see skunk climb No. but I've come pretty near it-- I've seen an auto"
 New York Is calling for more chorus girls Why won't those Pittsburg mill lionaires stop marrying emf" Female pedestrians should take heart: When run over by an automobile there Is always a probability their hat-pins will puncture the tire.
 There's a fellow in the insane asylum at Tuscaloosa who thinks he is an um- brella and Is always asking some one to come and shut him up. A woman's depravity in its widest moments, how ever. could never take that turn.
 4 + ", we jus. aow see why girls call 'em serves the low meek dresses they wear he realizes they are.
 +
 Avnunt.
 So long summer
 On your way.
 You've been very
 Very gay
 Sorry that you
 Cannot stay.
 We shall miss
 Yo1r birds refrains
 Strolls through cool
 Sequestered lanes,
 June-time skies
 Of cobalt blue
 With the cloud-ships
 Drifting through.
 We shall miss
 Your summer girl--
 She who set our
 Hearts awhirl.
 She so sweet from
 Head to shoe
 In her cool. sweet Peek boo!
 So long. summer
 Whlle you stayed
 Country board we
 Gladly paid.