Evening journal., 1908-07-17
Personal and Pertinent

Down in Missouri Judge Wallace addressing a
meeting of Prohibtonsts in one OF the prohipluonst
hotbeds of the state YES friends" he said IF am
elected Governor Missouri I'll keep this State dry when
and where the law says it shall be dryl There VIII be
Hold on" cried man in the crowd Anybody
keep st. Louis dryl"
then the Judge purposely overturned the ice
water and during the confusion he drifted from the
subject-Kausas City Journal
A curious story went the rounds some little
time about lovely foreigner. Of whose verbal
slips gave King Edwardoccason for hearty laugh A
very lively parsonage with delightful accent, she
made such favorable impression upon the King that
he asked her 10 be his partner at bridge But sir
she said. u really don't know how TO play The King
would take denial however, and she became rather
embarrassed II assure you sir" she said, Il could
not think of playing l don't know the difference be-
tween king and knave' There was an awkward
silence, and then she realized what she had said and
laughed it off and now tells the story with gusto-
Dundee Advertiser.
Tother day-ascorches-Iw was meandering down Tenth
street bit noon when little piped up from
the half-shade Of doorway Mister won't you buy a
glass Of emonade2" stopped. The lemonade looked
fine; ] dry as covered bridge. and the little
voice pleasing. So I drank glass and paid
the advertised prices cents
Hair block further on another little pped up.
Mister won't you please buy glass OF lemonade of
my dear child" I asked reproachfuly OF the veSy
little girl beside the lemonade bucket do imagine
I have nothing do but wander aimessy around
the tapping up lemonade like dusty antelope
SO worth Of Florida sponge? My interior mechanism
is already sufficiently acduous and chilled, and-but,
mind. give a glass. And ] poured another
Of the compound into my system and laid
down another cents.
The little vender looked It ongingy a moment,
then picked of the pennies and pushed the other
two back toward
IT'S only a glass;" said she.
"Why, how is that?" queried curiousy. THE little
grl the street is selling hers for certs glass and
II isn't bit better than yours.
Il know. sir" replied the little girla Conscientious
kidlet, youll sea-"but the st pernard N~7
lit and fell in and thought ought to sell 1t
a bargain"
And thought so. too-after I had decided that tho
lemonade might stay put after an-Washington Star.
swarm OF small urchins on Surf avenue Conev
Island have novel scheme for getting tips Equipped
with whisk broons they stand In front OF the
big amusement parks and whenever sightseeing auto
mobile arrives dozen OF them begin indus.
triously to brush off the passengers. They are fire.
ouently driven of by policeman but they always bob
up again with the next machine.
Mrs. Jones OF Reading had a Japanese servant who
had habit Of trying to conceal his mistress any
breakage Of dishes. She told him II was wicked 10
deceive and In the future TO always tell her when he
broke anything.
One day while she entertaining some friends In
the parlor. he suddenly appeared and said.
Mrs Jones, you tella when I break something to
tella you. break my pants."-Phladelphia Ledger
The late Sir Henry Campbell- -Bannerman who was
noted ior his genial human severely criticised
Dy fellow countryman for his un-Scottish habit Of
JOKE making. He had just been elected NJ p for
the Stirling Hurgs and disappointed Scot remarked
with sigh: Hell do for us mon; why he can
Joke "foot neutrality-suspicious..