The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1908-10-06
Containing a Small Pinch Of Whole
some Philosophy Mentally Visi-
bic Between the Printed
Lines.
f.. Iacv SDeer.

E. Lacy Speer.
"Have a (hic) mother chocolate
drop on (hic) me, Sadie. Whoopee
.WoW!"
"Hey there, give us another half
pound box Of dry Martins. -
These convivial sounds rang out
above a confused babel Of feminine
gurgles and squeaks, stopping many
ease-hardened, muchamazed male VIC
tins Of demon rum, as they passed a
fashionable candy shop on upper
Fifth avenue.
Only fancy: wicked New York
"confisitieres'' (that's the way they
spell It on the Avenoo) are making
chocolate bonbons, marron glaces and
even the common, garden variety of
GU drops all filled with Jamaica
rum, 'forty-yard" whiskey, and
other well-known roots and branches
Of foolish water.
One well-known candy maker tried
to sugar coat Ruinert Bruit and Pom
merry, but the bubbles broke out and
Bnussed up his place considerably
and so he went back to the still,
strong waters that are said to even
tua1ly "bite like a Jersey mosquito
and sting like an indignant hornet. -
Up in Harlem they are injecting
beer into an-day "suckers," ''lolly-
pops," etc., and there, as elsewhere
in the greater city, joy has reigned
uneonfined among the rank and file
Of the gentler sex, while candy max
ers have been fairly crushed with
prosperity.
And now enter the W. G. T. q.
This strong and aggressive order Of
twhite ribboners" has declared war
on all candy with false bottoms and
at recent session Of the body denun-
Citations Of the "candied curse" have
caused the girls to lay in large stocks
Of sugar-coated jag pills, in anticipa-
ton Of sudden cutting of Of sup
plies.
Mrs. Emile D. Martin, worlds su-
perintendent Of the ". c. T. o., said
at a recent meeting held in the Thir-
ty-seventh Street N. E. church:
'For the. last ten years this mat
ter has been brought before the Dis
trict Attorney. and the Police Com
missioner, and action has always been
taken. Now that DR.. Darlington, Of
the Health Board, has taken up the
fight in the interest Of health, we
feel that with such reinforcement we
are bound to win, we are certainly
dtermined.''
Adolph Finkelstein, Of No. l29
Seventh avenue, had cat with nine
teen lives. Her name was "Nasty, -
and she certainly was, as Policeman
Kraus can attest.
Nasty, propelled by sudden
"brain Storm" suddenly arehed her
back, put her rudder into the direct
perpendicular, gave several prelimin-
ary "spits' and yells, and then pro-
ceeded to claw large chunks out Of
the atmosphere.
Two little girls got into Nasty's
radius Of action, and she attacked
them with all the viciousness and
strength Of a mad animal. A small
boy, Samuel Finkelstein, who at
tempted to rescue the girls, was also
scratched and bitten.
When the cat attacked the boy, he
ran to the street screaming for help,
and Policeman Kraus, who was pass
ing, went into the room where Nasty
still sat, looking for trouble.
With a great deal Of painstaking
care the officer inserted half an ounce
of lead into the cats anatomy, but
to no effect. He fired again and
again, planting in all ten bullets in
Nasty's heaving form. This exhaust
ed his stock of ammunition, and he
went to the police station for more.
In the meantime another officer
came along and found the cat some
what subdued, and hunting around
for something to eat. This police
man fired nine more regulation bull
lets into Nasty, a total Of nineteen,
and she, finding herself giving a
good imitation of a porous plaster,
gave up the ghost in disgust.
At this writing pathologists of the