davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
MAY CAUSE A sNIL {
A Column of Light ReaiIng That
will Be Enjoyed
BY All Who Like to Read Funny
and Witty Sayings from the Mag
zines and Papers.

A Hard Task.
With a scowling brow the vaudeville
agent awaited the next applicant. y
long. lanky individual came to his desk
and in funereal tones said, Good day,
Sir"
"Well, what do you want?'
II need a job just now about as much
rs anything else," answered the lean
person.
Ever had any experience|'
ooh, indeed. have been with
"Chop it short know you've been
with all the big stars from Hamlet
to omelet. That doesn't cut any freeze
with me. What's your line?"
"I-I-I'm a-a-a comedian"
"Well then, make me laugh" Lip
pincott's.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03

lnfans!e knowledge.
Little Rosalie. aged, six. was watch
ing her mother label some glasses OF
preserves.
Mother" said she suddenly, what
kind of preserves does God maker
"Why. God doesn't make preserves.
Rosalie."
"Yes. he does. mother. I say it every
Sunday in Sunday school. The teacher
says, Why should you love and serve
God" and we say. Because he makes
preserves and redeems us.'"-Lippin-
colts.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Woodmen Will Drill.

The Uniform Rank Of the Wood
men Of the World will have an indi-
vidual competitive drill at the school
auditorium at Bowman on next Fri
day evening at eight o'clock. After
the drill oysters will be served to
the public for the benefit Of the
Uniform Pank. No admission fee
will be charged and the public Is
cordially invited to attend.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
How to Save Trousers.

To save mems trousers cut broom
stick so it will 1t under the lowest
shelf in the clothes closet. cover with
cotton batting about three or four
thickncsses, then with black cambric
and sew this down tight. Make loop
on either end. Tack two tacks on the
shelf in the closet so the stick will
hang about three or four inches down
Fold mems and boys trousers by
crcascs. and they vii! look like new
every time by hanging them across the
covered stick.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Still Holding Cotton.

The St. Matthews correspondent of
The News and Courier says: 'finan-
cial pressure has forced many, who
were holding last years crop, to turn
loose with benediction upon the
money gamble-3, which is unknown
in the prayer books. There is still
a great deal behind and in the hands
of men who declare they will stick
till the roses come in December, if
necessary"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Gone to Rest,

Mrs. James Fairey, of the Rowes-
vile section, passed away on Satur-
day morning after a long lingering
illnesss, which she bore with Chris
tian fortitude and resignation. Her
remains were laid to rest at New
Hope Church on last Sunday in the
presence of large concourse Of rel
atiYes and friends.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
a BaptismaI Episode.

An eminent judge when asked about
the facility with which he turned from
one case TO another replied that he
had learned that from what he saw ut
q baptism Of colored people when he
was a boy. The weather was very
cold, so that to ilnmerse the candidates
they were obliged to cut away the ice.
1t befell that when one of the female
converts was dipped back into the wa
ter the cold made her squirm about,
and in moment she had slipped from
the preachers hands and was down
the stream under the ice The preach
er, however, was not Disconnected.
Looking up with perfect calmness at
the crowd on the bank, he said: "Breth-
rem. this sister hath departed. Hand
me down another"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Why tho Blade Is Curved.

Corporal Sandhurst was drilling {
batch Of raw recruits.
"Why Is it," he said to u bright look
ing chap, that the blade of your saber
is curved instead Of Sraight?
"Thc blade is curved" the recruit an
swered, ''in order to give more force tc
the blow"
"Nonsensew said the corporal. The
blade is curved so as to fit the scab-
bard. If it WAS straight, how would
you get it into the curved scabbard,
you IDIOT"
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Thrifty Tenement Dvellers.

Thrifty Tenement Dwellers.
Congressman Jacob RUPERT of New
York represents one Of the most con
gestcd districts in the metropolis.
Thinking the people who live in tene-
ments might want to plant seeds in
boxes on the window sills and fire eS-
capes, he sent an assortment OF bis
quota Of garden seeds to the inhab-
itants of model tenement just built
by friend of his.
Later he received letter reading:
My Dear Ruppert-Please send no more
seeds to the people who live in my model
tenements.
I went there today and find they are
all raising cabbages. cucumbers and TO"
matoes in the bathtubs.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Paved by q Horse.

Mr.. Fordham Salley. employed at
the stable of Mr.. Mack Salley was
pretty badly used by mule yesterday
morning. The mule reared up and
caught Mr.. Salley and gave LeaVy
blow on the jaw with his front foot.
Although the accident was not very
serious, it was very painful.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Presiding Elder Smith.

Rev. Chas. B. Smith, Presiding Ell
der of this District. preached at st.
Pauls Methodist Church on Sunday
morning. Mr.. Smith used to be the
Pastor of this church, and there was
a large congregation out to hear him.
His sermon was greatly enjoyed by
all who heard it.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
His Preference.

HIS Preference.
A little boy was sitting on one OF the
benches In Central park, New York,
watching people ride the donkeys. An
exceedingly fat woman hired donkey
Gnd was about to mount when she saw
the small boy and said to him. Little
boy. don't you want me to hire don
key for you too?"
mo, thank you. I'd rather sit here
and gh."-Ladies' Home Journal.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
How to Grow Palms Successfully.


There Is no secret or knack about
successfully growing palm. Only a
knowledge of its habits and require
ments is needed. says the Cleveland
Plain Dealer. Good drainage must be
provided. the proper kind of soil and
a comprehension as to how to water
the plant properly When the leaves
of palm turn BROW at the tip. first
Of all examine the soil in which it Is
growing. In the majority Of cases it
will be found that it is wet and clog
ged. Take immediate steps to repot
the plant. provide plenty of good drain
age and a sandy and rather heavy soil.
Water it we'll, then place the plant in 4
good strong light out of the rays Of
the sun Give it very little water after
the first dreuching until the plant
shows signs Of growth. The chief Sc
cret Of success with palms is to keep
them out of the direct sunlight. but in
a strong light, and TO water them only
when the soil is dry on the surface.
Once every fortnight the palm should
be taken to the bathroom and be given
thorough drenching Of the foliage.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Sermon to FircIncn.

Rev. J. C. Dietz, Pastor OF the
Lutheran Church, preached the an
nual sermon before the Elliott Hook
and Ladder Company Sunday morn
ing in the Lutheran church. There
was g. large congregation and Mr..
Dietz preached most excellent SER
mon
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
School Prizes.

The South Carolina State Improve
ment Association has announced the
offer of thirty-five prizes for the
schools Of the state showing the
greatest material improvement in a
given time A few Of these prizes
ought to come to Orangeburg.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
The Walters Preference.

At dinner one day some men were
discussing the merit; of different spe-
cies of game. One preferred canvas
back duck, another wOodcock, and still
another thought quail the most deli
cious article Of food. The discussion
and the dinner ended at about the
same time.
We'll Frank" said one Of the men.
turning to the waiter at his elbow, who
was as good listener rs he was a
water, what kind Of game DO you
like BEST"
"Well. massa. to tell you the trufe.
almost any kind Of game'll suit me,
but what I like best IS an American
eagle served on 4 silver dollar
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Better Than Cotton.

At present prices peas is better
money crop than cotton. They are
worth from 50 to $3.50 per bushel,
according to locality. Our farmers
should diversity their crops, and that
way get ready for the boil weevil,
which is steadily marching this way.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
ALWAYS One or the Other.

But why did you leave your last
place." the lady asked of the would
lie cook.
"To tell the truth, mum, l just
couldn't stand the way the master an
the nissus used to quarrel, num-"
Dear me. Do you mean to say that
they actually used to quarrel:'
"Yis. mum, all the time. When II
wasn't me an him, il was me an her.
-Everybody's.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Got Thirty Days.

Isreal Hampton light fingered
colored boy, plead guilty to stealing
SIT from the Office of Messrs. Brails-
ford and Holiday and was sent to the
chain gang by Judge Brunson for
thirty days.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Hunting Season Over.

The hunting season for this Sec
ton is now over and sportsmen had
better lay their guns aside. 1t is
said that in one field last week thirty
hunters killed eight hundred doves
What a slaughter of the innocents.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
MANY WANT 1 IN THEM.
Calhoun County offices Are Be-
ing enthusiastically Sought

But q Large Majority of the Candi.
dates VIII Be Disappointed, AS
There Are Not Offices to Go Around
Gov Ansel has ordered a special
election to be held on the second
Tuesday in April for county officers
for Calhoun county, consisting OF
clerk of court, sheriff, county super
intendent of education, judge of pro-
bate, county supervisor and coroner.
These position will be filled until the
November elections according to the
act passed by the general assembly.
For State Senate.
Walter L. Buyck, Esq, st. Mat
thews.
Dr.. Sam. ]. Summers, Cameron.
For Sheriff.
Mr.. Olin NJ. DantZler, st. Matthews.
Mr.. William Brady Hildebrand.
Sunny Plain.
For Supervisor.
Mr.. H. ]. Crider, st. Matthews.
Mr.. T. Fred Wise, Fort Motte
Mr.. John D. Golson, st. Matthews.
Mr.. Robt. H. Murph, Jamison.
For County Treasurer.
Mr.. H. H. Cauthen, Fort Motto.
Mr.. P. L. Crider, st. Matthews.
Mr.. S. E. Owen, ST. Matthews.
For Clerk of Court.
Mr.. A. Hamp Wolfe, Advance.
Mr.. w. A. Isgett, ST. Matthews.
Mr. j. Archie Wolfe, Advance.
For County Auditor.
Mr.. Jas. H. Haigler, Cameron.
Mr.. j. Moss Holman, Creston.
For Superintendent of Education.
Mr.. D., S. Murph, Advance.
For County Commissioner.
Mr.. j. w. Knight, st. Matthews.
For Coroner.
Mr.. J. P. Chartrand, st. Matthews.
It will be seen that there ar emo
lack of candidates to fill the Offices.
VhOlS Will Ue duuSO W luC dUONS .lot
before the election comes off. 1t
is a hopeful sign when so many can
didates offer to sacrifice themselves
on the altar of their country.
The Senator and Representatives
will not be elected until the regular
primary this Summer. The Other
will be elected on the second Tues
day in April and will hold Office until
the election next November. 1t is
reasonable to suppose that those
elected now will be reelected in the
primary.
We believe we could pick out the
winners in every case, but we will
not discourage the losers by doing
so. Let them have as much fun rs
they can get out Of the running as
that is about all they will ever get
The material to select from is
good, and there is no reason why a
good set of officers could not be chos.
en- from the above list of candidates
That each of them will be satisfied
with the result is the wish of The
Times and Democrat.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Preached at Clemson.

Rev. E. M. Lightfoot, Pastor of
the Baptist Church of this city,
preached at Clemson College on Sun
day. His pulpit here was filled by
Rev. Mr.. Austin. of the Orangeburg
Collegiate Institute.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
He Won the Dog.

TIC VVCTT ITIt OOy'
A minister. walking along the street
one day. saw q crowd Of boys sitting
in ring. with u small dog in the cen
ter. When he came up to them he
asked:
What are you doing to the dog"
One little boy said, "Whoeyer tells
the biggest lie wins it,
Il am surprised ut you little boys,
for when WAS like you never told
q lie."
There was silence for awhile. until
one of the boys shouted, Hand him
up the dog"'
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Will be at North.

DR.. J. H. Perreyclear, Dentist, will
be in North, S. c.. Tuesday and We'd
nesday, March 10 and II. Office at
Plunkett's Hotel.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
TEARS.

Not in the time Of pleasure
Hope doth set her bow.
But in the sky OF sorrow,
Over the vale Of woe.
Through gloom and shadow look We
On beyond me years.
The soul would have no rainbow
Had the eyes no tears.
Century.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Correct,

OCTTECSa
Now. can any Of you tell me what
is water:" asked the teacher at the
end of an object lesson.
"Please, teacher. waters what turns
black when you put your hands in it,
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03
Not Much Lan,J Sold,

The regular first Monday land sales
of the Master were considerably GU
down this month as shown by the
sales made yesterday.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-03

oulte rear the front turned TO the we.
man beside her and said in IN audible
voice. pardon me, but would you
kindly tell me which one is NVsgner?
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1908-07-24
DAVID D. MARTIN

Ever since David ID. Martin first an
nounced that he would be candidate
for the nomination as Register of Deeds
he has met with the greatest amount of
encouragement, not only from those
with whom he is acquainted, but from
people all over the county.
Mr.. Martin was a candidate for this
office two years ago when there were
five other candidates for that office.
The support he received at that time
was very gratifying and he appreciat-
ed it and he is now asking his many
friends who supported him then to do
what they can for him now. Mr.. Mar
tin received the second highest number
of votes for the nomination as Register
of Deeds two years ago, Mr.. Pearce
having beaten him by very small
margin and now we have the strongest
reasons To feel certain of his nomina-
tion this fall. Mr. Pearce, his only OPP
ponent at this time, has held Office for
a long time and it is generally conded-
ed that he has had enough.
Mr.. Martin is thoroughly known
throughout the county and is well liked
by all who know him. He has made
one of the best supervisors Mussey
toAnship has ever had and he has serv-
ed the county well in the capacity of
chairman of the board of supervisors
which he held for two years, and we
earnestly solicit the support of the Re
publicans of this county for Mr.. Martin
as we feel that he is entitled to the of
flee and we know he can discharge the
duties of that Office as well as any per
son who has ever held it.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1908-07-24

A good sanitary system is the
first and most important part of
the home equipment. To safe
guard the domestic health and to
keep the home thoroughly clean
and wholesome at all times, plumb
ing fixtures affording absolute and
perfect sanitation are a prime ne
ceSsity. The choosing of your fix
lures is too serious a matter TO
delegate to other hands, and if
you are not sufficiently familiar
with sanitary matters to make the
decision for yourself, call at our
store and we will give you in full
all information you should have
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1908-07-24
HUGH ~. HART

Hugh III. Hart, the candidate for
the nomination of Judge of Probate,
has as his opponent, like Mr.. Martin.
a third term candidate. The senti-
ment in this part of the county seems
to be solid for Mr. Martin and Mr.. Hart.
The people do not like the idea of a
few men holding office forever. Mr..
Graham, the only opponent Mr., Hart
has for the nomination, has been elect
ed twice as Judge of Probate, and, as
one term of that office is equivalent to
two terms of any other county office, il
is generally regarded that Mr.. Graham
should step down and out and give
Mr.. Hart square deal.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1908-07-24

The races on the state fair grounds
will be the fastest in the history Of
the association. $4,000 have been ex-
pended entirely rebuilding and resur-
facing the track, and it is today con.
sidered one of the fastest and best
tracks in the United States, and with
$4,000 hung up for purses and the
entries which have already been re-
ceived, it is apparent that the best
races ever held in the state of Michi-
gan will be seen on the state fair
grounds during the next state fair.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1908-07-24
STATE FAIR RAILROAD RATES.

The Michigan Passenger association,
which governs the granting OF special
rates on all railroads, has decided that
the rate of fare this year for the state
fair at Detroit, Sept. 3rd TO 18th, will
be one and two-thirds one way fare.
That means that if the regular rail
road fare from your station TO Detroit
and return is SO (seventy-five milesl,
the rate TO the state fair this year
will be going $3.50 and returning 81,
or $3.50. Last year the rate was three
cents per mile on most of the roads,
and the railroads gave rate of one
half fare, which for the distance men,
toned above the fare would have been
1925 for the round trip, and in order
to get that rate 1t was necessary to
buy state fair ticket at fifty cents,
which was attached to the railroad
ticket It may be seen that the rate
is twenty-five cents higher this year,
but the state fair coupon will be elm
inaed from the railroad ticket.
Admission tickets TO the state fair
will be placed on sale in most of the
newspaper offices in the state at the
rate of thirty-five cents each, or three
for ST. These will go on sale early
in July and will be withdrawn aug
10Th.
This is the first time in the history
Of the state fair that tickets have
been placed on sale out in the state
at reduced rates. Orders for tickets,
IL received prior to Aug. 29th, will
also be filled by mail on receipt Of
the above price by l. H. Butterfield,
secretary, Detroit, Mich.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1908-07-24

Arrangements are being made with
the International Stock Food company
of Minneapolis, Mimi, to have Dan
Patch pace one mile against his own
time. making an earnest endeavor TO
break his record, which is the fastest
in the world today, 1854, and it is
thought that on the new fast track
at the state fair grounds 1t will be
possible for him do so. Mr.. Savage
says that Dan is in strictly first class
condition. and he believes he will go
faster this year than ever before.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1908-07-24

Superintendent Tyler and Superin-
tendent Watkins of the cattle and
horse departments of the Michigan
State Fair have arranged for a live
stock parade, which will take place
during the fair. 1t will be one of the
best parades ever seen on a like oc-
castor. These gentlemen are thorough
ly familiar with what will please the
livestock men of the state and are
leaving no stone unturned to bring on
something for attraction and interest.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1908-07-24

There will be plenty of opportunity
for the visitors at the fair this year
to secure good meals. Ten churches
in the city of Detroit have secured
space and will furnish meals AMI
lunches to state fair visitors. II goes
without saying that church societies
take great pride in furnishing good
meals at reasonable prices. and they
have assured the management of the
fair that this year they will be better
than ever.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1908-07-24
$1,000 EACH NIGHT.
Palms Great Display Of Fireworks
and War Spectacle.


One of the principal attractions at
tie coming state fair in Detroit, Sept.
Bird to 18th, is the great Pains fire.
works and spectacle and Manhattan
Beach display of fireworks.
"Sheridan's Ride and the Battle of
Cedar Creek" is the most stupendous,
thrilling and realistic war spectacle
ever presented by the great fireworks
king. Henry j. Pain. The characters
represented are: General Sherman
and General Wright, u. S. A.; General
Lee and General Early of the Confed.
crate army, staff officers, signal corps,
civilians, etc. The synopsis and in
cidents are: Camp Fire-Negro melo-
dies and special advertisements. Dis
coyery of spy; papers found. Signals
from the mountains. Distant firing.
Signaling. Confederates open fire on
buildings. United States troops move
forward. Papers found Despatch of
messenger. Troops retreating. Artil,
lery in distress. Distant movements.
All is life and animation. Sheridan
is coming!" Sheridan and staff dash
on; the rout is turned into victory.
Final, tableau.
The history of this great battle is
well known to many of our readers.
and no doubt many will witness it's
repetition in fireworks at the coming
state fair.
In speaking of this great spectacle
as produced at Manhattan Beach, the
New York World says:
Pains great war spectacle. 'Sherdan's Ride
depicting in a thrilling and truly realistic
manner the Battle Of Cedar Creek between
the Union and Confederate armies, opened last
night TO $4,000 delighted SPECTATORS in blaze
OF glory and gunpowder With the early dawn
comes the Gen. Early Confederate troops
They sweep down from the mountain Sides
and crush the unsuspec;ing Federals as they
sleep. Then follow the most terrible, reals.
terror stricken soldiers rushing in the rear
with but few men among them 70 try and
stem the tide M is retreat. Just when the
destruction seems complete, Gen Phil sheridan
dashes among the fleeing soldiers-having mad
ly dashed TO his stricken army from Winches
ter, twenty miles away. Com: on boys,
we're going back Wild cheers greeted this
command. Before nightfall the battle had been
fought and won by Sherdan's boys in blue"
Every performance of Pains spec
tacle of "Sheridan's Ride" will be fol-
lowed by a gigantic $1,000 program Ut
Pains Manhattan Beach fireworks.
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1908-07-24

100 acre farm mile south, Ia miles
east of Yale; % acres fine green timber;
good 1l-room house; cellar; cistern;
well; barn 55x35; stone and cement hog
and hen house; "A miles shade trees
with woven wire fence attached; fine
orchard. Timber and buildings are
worth more than is asked for land.
For further particulars address Yale
Expositor. 13-2
The Yale expositor. (Yale, St. Clair County, Mich.) 1894-current, 1908-07-24
Farms Wanted

A 160-acre farm and 120-acre farm
wanted. For particulars call on or ad
dress j, A. Rapley, Yale. A