The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-24
BROTHER GARDNER.

my frens," said Brother Gardner
of the Lime Kiln club as he arose in
mis- place the other evening, Il reck-
on most of you have heard de news
DAT three of de Oldest members or dis
club am gwfne to depart from among
US. 1t brings sadness to my heart to
zee EN- depart, but yet I know dat
dey will be better off. Brudder Shin
dig Watkins will you please riz up?
Brother Watkins. you am gwlne
away from yere to de town OF SYRIA
cuse to enter into de grocery business.
You am gwine among strangers, ana
it's gwine to be make or bust wild you.
II you succeed in climbin' de olzzy
heights of success all will be Well' IL
you don't succeed you'll come out next
spring wild chillblains all ober you
and take your place in de list or mas
beens. Bekase we all wish you Wen
I want to say a few words to you.
"If you have resolved to run gro
Gerry business in strictly honest man
ner take back dat resolve and make
another
Oar won't be no show fur you In
Syracuse or any other town in Amerl-
ca.
You might git out forty millyon
handbills, and you might hire 1orty
brass bands to play befo' your gro
Gerry, and yet you couldn't convince de
public dat you was gwine to GID EN-
an honest deal. In desc days de mo
man talks of his honesty de less de
public believes in him, and when you
come right down to it 1 don't believe
dat any of us want to bump up again
a real honest man. We. wouldn
know how to take him. Oar would be
heaps of embarrassment in dealin wild
him. We'd be mo- apt to wrong him
dan to glib him just praise.
you will open your grocery calker-
latin to make de usual profit of TWEEN
ty per cent. You will mingle old eggs
wild de fresh. You will sell Rio corfee
fur Java. You will sell oleomargarine
fur best dairy butter. You Will sell
thirty-five and fifty cent tea out O. de
same chist. If you kin take eighteen
ounces fur a pound ev'ry time when
you buy, and glib fo'teen ounces fur
pound when you sell, you will do so,
and arter de first few days you will be
surprised to see how easy your con-
science am about it.
Now and den de public will pass
lead nickles and Clipped quarters on
on you. You will hold EN- till nigh
sighted customer comes along and
dem soak him wild de hull lot.
"If you have to carry ober two or
three hundred cans of con and to-
matoes and peaches, 1t will be easy
'nuff next year to buy new labels and
pass 'em off as fresh.
I'm buying vinegar by de bar'l and
sellin' it by de pint or quart you will
not forget to add a proper quantity
of water. Oar am nfnety-six odder
feetle tricks practiced by the grocer
who has ambishun, and 1 reckon you
will git on to 'em in time. Dat will
do, Brudder watkins. You kin sot
down and I'll say a few words to
Brudder Amendment Green"
Brother Green was enjoying a nap
behind the stove, but was aroused and
stood up and the president said to
him:
"Brudder Green, you am gwine to
do town of Hosford to engage in de
butcher shop business. De residents
of dat enterprisin' town have inform
ed you dat three different butchers
have failed dere in the last two years
bekase dey was dishonest Don't you
believe it. On de odder hand, believe
dat dey had to quit becase dey was
too honest, and let it be a warnin' to
you.
you am aware of de fact, Brud-
der Green, dat in buyin' meat or live
stock you have to buy de bones wild it.
In case of live stock, you have to buy
de horns and hoofs and tail as well.
In sellin' again you have got to fig
ger on these things.
DE one word dat should eber be
present in your mind am bones You
have got to get rid of 'em. De mo-
change you kin ring up on your cash
register.
ct has bought fo'teen ounces of
sixteen, and arter 1 had sot down and
thought it ober 1t was hard to tell
which butcher I thought de most Of
Roth had da car1o chanCo RI oJoot No