Chicago eagle. [volume] (Chicago, Ill.) 1889-19??, 1908-03-21
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II the wife Is bad cook the hus.
band IL apt to be good rooster.
would you accept him IL you were
I" II certainly should--if I were
you !-London opinion.
"Can she keep a secret" mo, but
she can keep cook. and that's some.
thing to brag manufacturing.
"He not only was infatuated with the
girl, but he fell in love with the whole
family" "Then they all had money,
eh?"
The Parental voice--Maud, Is that
young man gone yet? The Daughter
Yves, papa. he says he is.--Cleveland
Leader.
80 you want a Job, hey? Well,
what did you do at your last placer
II didn't do anything. was the Office
boy."-Judge.
Mr.. Askitt--Do you think marriage
II failure? Mrs. DE vorsay--NO
only temporary embnrrasynent.--Il.
Illustrated Bits
She--lIow many men owe their sue.
cess In life to their wives? He-And
how many men owe their wives to their
success In life?
Eph Grecn--Ah desires to purchase
ah razzer. Clerk--Safety? Eph Green
No, sab: dis am TO- social usage
Harper's Weekly.
First Doctor--Yes. sir; I've had 40
cases Of appendicitis. Second Doctor
Lose any? First Doctor-Not one.
They all paid up.
Doctor believe you have some sort
Of poison In your system! Patient
Shouldn't wonder. What was that last
stuff you gave me?
III believe In laying something by
for rainy day." remarked the absent
minded man as he appropriated
strangers umbrella.
Overheard in a wigg-
Didn't the waiter say this was spring
lamb? wagg-Yes. but he looked rath'
er sheepish about It
Tourist docking over deep preci.
pice)--I suppose people fall down here
often. don't they? Guidc--No; once Il
enough for most Of 'em.
"How shall we announce our en-.
gagementT Tell couple Of your
girl friends and make them promise
not to tell."-lIOuston Post.
"what did you think of my spccch?
asked the orator. 1T was beautiful"
said the young woman. ut made me
think of my commencement essay"
ApplIcant--What Is the first thing Ia
do before you get marriage licensed
License Clcrk---rhink II over, young
man; think 1t over.--Illustrated Bits.
80 Galley really had to pay Mist
Yerner fifty thousand dollars fol
breach Of promise2" Eyes. and now
he wants to marry her for her money
Customer--I don't like the shoes
the sOles are too thick. Shopman--YOl
will learn to like them, rs the objec
tons you speak Of will gradually veal
of.
But, George" said she to the hand
some young volunteer, what woult
you really do II there was a sUddcr
cry TO arms, to arms?'" "well." sale
George, "it would depend. II the CRY
issued from your lips think ! should
come"
General" said the fair vegetarian
"yOu should abandon the beef diet
Look mt the deer. 1t eats nothing bu
grass and leaves. and yet 1t can out
run the hounds for hours" "Madam
l require food that will prevent m!
running
| oyer was standing on the Sidewalk
as u wedding party came down tn
church steps. "What are you dolnl
hcrey Queried his friend Myer. WIN
happened along just then. "WatchlnI
the tied 60 out" answered Oyer will
an open-faced grin.
Pardon me-" said Ascum, but
must be tough to be married to strOnl
minded woman" "Oh," replied Hen
peck, ut has Its advantages. Whel
my wife thinks she hears burglar
downstairs. she won't trust me to u
down and Investigate. "-philadelphl;