Evening journal., 1908-05-04
Personal and Pertinent

teacher observed what he thought lack Of pa
trioc enthusiasm in one Of the boys under his nstruo
tnS IL you saw the and stripes waving over the
e Eat" i"'''''' ''''' ''' "''D wa
In a baltimore court was suing another
for SANDER when plaintiff put on the witness
stand her attorney said to her Now madam just tell
the Court what the defendant said about YOU
"Ch 7 cannot she hesitatngy replied.
But madam you must" the attorney insisted "Ihe
whole case hangs upon your testimony
but it fit for any decent person TO near re-
peS % n tbat case" answered the attorney just step
up TO the Judge and whisper it in his ear"-Judge'
~. ...,, ,ooo 400 there lived near Halifax an old
man who always a donkey to his daily work.
and tethered him while he labored on the ROADS or
wherever else he might be- It had been pretty plainly
hinted 10 MIN by one the local landowners that he
was suspected putting it in the FIELDS TO Craze at
aEh souore Aw cudna do sich a thing. fer don
kew weant att leaD "owt bud nettes an thisues"
one day the gentleman was riding along the road'
when he saw the old fellow work and the donkey up
to It's knees Of his clover heds teedlng uNurousy
"I4alloa Johnl" said he Il understood you to say
,cr 5oni<ev Nod eat nothing nettes and thistes2
AYE" said John but he's bin misbehavin' hissen'
sir He nearly kicked me T. tn chest Just now soa
Aw put him theer TO punish hin!"-Ilt-Blts'
When Fighting Bob attended the opening Of
the Kel Canal in 1895 Emperor William one dsy BOARD
flagship and in course OF conversation asked
the Admiral how long It would take him to close all
water tight ports ready for action
1.-TWO minutes" said Evans
The Admiral somewhat astOnished when the Kali
ser said you do lido It yourself Evans
siren, but there was not enough steam to blow
"Aha, said the delighted Kaiser. you cannot close
your bukheadsl"
Evans then touched general alarm button. and IN
an instant men came swarming up from every part
OF the ship while Emperor william held his watch. In
minute and half all doors were closed and the
ship was ready for action.
"Einel" said the Emperor with look OF chagrin.
"Fne!" And then 10 celebrate the feat wine and
cigars brought into the Admrars quarters. The
Kaiser liked the wine and the Admiral much that he
stayed until o'clock in the morning, when Evans
thought ne had seen the last OF him But at o'clock
the morning orderly knocked at his door and,
touching his respectfully said I have the honor
TO inform ycu, sir, that the Emperor Of Germany IS
just passing the ship in his yacht and the Emperor
IS steering"
What" demanded Evans, entirely forgetting his
dignity admiral for the moment Then. looking
out Of air port he the Kaiser in his white fan
nels, steering the Meteor II he had taken
drink in his life.
wen. I'll be -" said Fighting Bob as he rolled
where has the Kaiser spent the time between and
ocloekT'-san Francisco Call
Prospective suitor-sr love your daughter
Her Father--Wel, don't come to me with your trou-
bies-san Francisco Star
"Gracious," exclaimed Mrs Cooley iust listen to
that elergymanl I'm positive he's swearing Evidently
he's missed his vocation"
NO" replied her husband. 7 think 1t was his train
Philadelphia Press
The leading citizen Of small country escorted
friend tour of inspection through village The
friend who resident of a metropolitan city was
duly Impressed by the many advantages the little
town Finally the two men reached the cemetery The
visitor carefully looked at the various tributes then
turned 70 his guide Say Dave" he began. "wh-wh-
"'s'e 90 you 6-0-0ury you. s.s-s -sinners'"-Judse
L By making herself highly unpopular the head Of
girls school on the outskirts Of kept the
grip ano Kindred Ills from her interesting charges
Ihe parents o. the girls at the school told
not one or the young women would be permitted 70 an
pear In lingerie waists, and that only some
other wooden material would be permitted school
dress In the winter The been a van
ishing OF bare heads Of white shirt and Of low
snoes rrom that neghborhood and hard for the
doctorz-New York Press