davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1908-04-30

extra battleships if the sixteen in exist
ence will continue to linger in her ports.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1908-04-30

The poker players of Connecticut
who soughtsafety in collins when aided
were playing a stiff game.
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1908-04-30

EDGAR ALLEN Poe misunderstood
the raven "Nevermore'. The bird
really asked, "What's the score?2
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1908-04-30

LETTUCE-Fresh and fine. ~,
l Mrs. Moscow Wilson
Goldsboro weekly argus. [volume] (Goldsboro, N.C.) 1885-1909, 1908-04-30
and Friends ESav2
to 70 It,

ct consider the c-.ss o c course e
Hoods Sarsapari! & va-y cheap
doctors bill. I certainly recommend
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
Uses for Austrian Recruits,

Like the famous John Gilpin, tn.
heir to the throne has frugal mind
and, it has been maliciously whis
pered, sees great chances to exercise
this virtue at the expense of the poor
recruits.
Scores of these who come from the
country are drafted off to the arch
ducal estates and do their militar,
service there, much of it CONSISTING
in gamekeepers' duties in the arch
dukes pheasant preserves. The re
cruits are also used when improve
ments in the parks and grounds arr
being made. According to one story
squads of them are marched about
and made to do duty as dummy trees
while the heir to the throne stands al
distance and experiments as to
where a clump of trees would look
best.
The soldiers, being merely human
object all the more because there are
no extra rations for this kind of duty
They have generally to shift for them
selves and their miserable pay only
procures them food far poorer than
that which they would get in barracks
although that is not very sumptuous
--Lady's Realm
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
HOW TO STOP A NosE.BLEEp.
Good Idea, However, Not to Select
One Who Bears You a drudge.

When the bellboy responded to the
man standing in the center of the
room holding a handkerchief to his
nose, from which the blood was
oozing.
Give me slap alongside of the
head, good and hard" said the elderly
man, turning his face toward the boy
and speaking with difficulty.
But, sir, don't know what you
mean, sir" stammered the boy, back
ing toward the door.
Don't stop to talk" sputtered the
travelling man. Slap me, tell you, A"
again holding his head forward. The
boy hesitated for moment, then
timidly slapped the mans face.
Harder" commanded the smitten
one. The boy hesitated no longer, but
with his open palm dealt the man a
vigorous blow.
That's better" grunted the CORY
one as he removed the handkerchief
and after test found the bleeding
had stopped. I'm subject to these at
tacks of nose bleed" he explained to
the astonished youth. handing him a
tip. Il have tried all sorts of RENE
dies, but nothing acts more promptly
than a blow alongside the head. The
shock seems to paralyze the ruptured
blood vessels and they quit work at
once got the idea from an old ply
stefan in Mexico"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
Sort of Convincing.

Col. Plummer of New York, who
hates the sight of AN automobile,
bought the other day handsome
brown mare to match Barbary Belle,
A day or two later he asked his groom
what he thought OF the new arrival.
John replied; She's certainly a fine
lookin' 'oss, sir, but I'm afraid her
temper's bit too touchy."
What makes you think so?" asked
the colonel She don't appear to take
kindly to nobody, sir she don't like
me to go into the box to feed her"
"Oh, she'll settle down in day or
two. The surroundings are strange,
you know. do not think there is any
thing wrong with her temper" II
didn't at first, sir said John, but you
see she kicked me out o the box twice
and when you comes to think about 1t
that's sort O convincin'."
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
Looking Out for His kinfolk.

When | was governor of Tennes.
see," said Senator Bob Taylor of Ten.
nessee, Il received letter from an
inmate of the state penitentiary of
Missouri. Mr.. dear cousin, it ran, 1T
amt fittin' fer one NV yore kinfolks
to be in the pen, an wisht you'd git
me out eff you kim 1t was signed Bob
Taylor which looked as If the writer
ought to be mighty close kin.
Il sent 1t to the governor of Mis-
souri, with the following Endorsements:
4 wish, if you can conscientiously do
so, that you would turn this fellow
loose, and If ever any of your rela-
tives get in the Tennessee penitentiary,
I'll return the favor
II heard later" concluded the sena-
tor. that Bob Taylor had gained his
freedom. but whether through my eff
forts ! have never learned, And he
hasn't thanked me yet"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
DON'T CONDEMN COINS HASTILY
Not Necessarily Counterfeit Because
They Won't Ring.

Gold coins which do not ring are
not always counterfeits, according to
Operative Thomas B. Foster, in charge
of the United States secret service
work for this district. He demonstrate
ed that fact at the police station, and
as result Aimee Sykes, alias Gera
O'Gera, will be charged with stealing
United States from one William Nc.
Clarity.
The woman was arrested by City
Detectives II. c. Adams and F. w.
Clark on complaint by Mccarthy. The
five-dollar gold piece supposed to have
been stolen was found on her and
was held as evidence. Clerk Billy
Kent dropped the gold piece on the
desk at the station and 1t fell like a
piece of lead There was absolutely
no ring to 1t.
Operative Foster was called in with
view of capturing a band of coun-
terfeiters.
Just as good as any coin ever
turned out of the mint" said the Sc
cret service man after he had en-
amined the coin. 1T Is very probable
that there is small cavity in this
coin. That happens very often and
gives a great deal of trouble. When
the ingots from which these coins are
made are cast at the mint air bubbles
get into them sometimes. When the
metal is rolled out and the coins
made the bubble sometimes stays
there, and there is no ring to such a
coin."-Seattle Post Intelligencer.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
UNCLE SANS WORST SENTENCE.
"DismissaI with lgnominy" Means the
Most Absolute Disgrace.

The severest sentence which the
United States government can inflict
is undoubtedly dismissal with igno-
miny," which Is melted out to officers
Of the army and navy who are guilty
Of great offenses.
1t is the nearest thing to ostracism
that can be reached in tie modern
state. When the sentence dismissal
with ignominy" is. passed upon an Of.
ficer it means that his brother officers
may never speak to him again during
his life. II this officer has a relative
IN the service, no matter how close
the connection may be, there must
never again be communication be-
tween the two.
II 1t is a young man who is thus
dismissed and he has a father In the
army or navy, they are cut OFF for
ever unless the father should choose
to quit the nations service also.
And when the sentence is once
passed it. is Interchangeable. A man
who simply violates the laws of the
CO. try even to the point of trea-
son has chance for pardon, but once
he receives the document bearing the
phrase dismissal with ignominy," it
stands just as long as there is breath in
his body.
Even If he wishes to enlist in the
| service as one of the men in the
ranks this would not be flowed. When
caught he would be punished for
| fraudulent enlistment"
In the old days the greatest punish.
ment was to cashier an officer. Then
he would be taken out before an as
| sembled body of troops or sailors and
his insignia of rank would be taken
and his sword broken. Now this has
| given way to more complete method
Of exposing his shame. When an Of
ficer is dismissed with ignominy" II
is ordered by the president that no
/ tice shall be sent to all members OF
! the service and the crime and the
punishment is published in the news
papers not only around the headquar
ters where he was last on duty, but
also in the state from which he comes
or in which he usually makes his
home
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
Letters Of Interest Found.

The Universalist church In
Gloucester has discovered what it con-
siders priceless treasure in an old
desk once the property of John Muir
ray, the father Of the faith in this
country The piece of furniture was
about to be thrown away when a
member of the parish committee, in
found letters proving its identity.
Murray came to this country in 1910,
and later Joined the revolutionary
forces as chaplain. He was compelled
to resign on account Of Ill health, and
returned to Gloucester, where he
founded the present church.-Spring-
field Republican.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
Her Weioht Cost S@3,

In some parts of Hungary 1t is the
custom for the bridegroom to pay a
sum to the brides parents, and in
case the parties cannot agree the
mayor acts as arbitrator Mayor
volked, who is cattle dealer, has
had to decide case of this kind, and
after inspecting the bride decided that
the bridegroom must pay the parents
at the rate of half a dollar for each
pound that the bride weighed This
verdict was accepted, and the woman
weighing Sc pounds the bridegroom
handed over the equivalent of SAB,
after which the wedding ceremony
was performed.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
Shakespeare Notwithstanding.

is there anything in Nance" in
quired the man with mouse-colored
whiskers. You can bet there is.
Name boy Stuyvesant or Van Rens-
selear or Guoverneur, and he'll never
hold anything but a first-class job. No
body will ever dare ask him to swab
windows or mop floors. And by the
time he's 40 he'll be head of trust
company and director Of q prominent
concerns, oh, yes; there's heap in
q name, lemme tell you"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
Conscientious Workman.

Strong-Arm Tim Is employed in
carrying bricks on barge. His
strength is SO great that his boss kept
increasing his loads until finally the
gang-plank breaks and lands Tim and
his bricks in the water. Tim rapidly
sinks, but presently comes to the sur.
face and shouts out: Throw me a
rope there, you spalpeens, youse!"
While his companions are searching
frantically for rope Tim comes to
the surface second time and bellows
out: Here, there, yourse loafers, II
We don't throw me rope I'll be after
droppin' some Of these here bricks!" :
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
An Almanac Church.

In the tower of ST. Botolph's church,
Boston, England, are 365 steps, corre.
spending to the days in the year
the church has ~ pillars, So windows
and seven doors, representing the
months, weeks, and days in the week
In the west porch. says the Church
Eclectic, are "a steps descending to
the library above), representing the
hours of the day Again, on each side
of the choir are 60 steps, leading to
the roof. denoting on the one side the
minutes and on the other the seconds
of the hour
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06

Owing to his extreme youth and tim
idity Tommy escaped going to church
the whole year around, except on
Christmas day. After one of his an
nue., visits his uncle asked him at the
dinner table II he had been good
boy and said a prayer In church.
"Oh, yes. indeed" answered Tommy.
81 said prayer like ali the rest did
just before the sermon began. Want
to hear it,"
yes, indeed. What did you say?"
replied the surprised uncle.
Now lay me down to sleep!' "
said Tommy,
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
Odd.

did you ever notice anything funny
about his conversation?
Funny? ] should say not. Why,
there's absolutely no point to It,"
That's the funny part of 1t. Since
1t has no point how is 1t that 1t bores
so quickly?"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
PunctiIious Etiquette.

Heidi you have an informal dis
cussion at your club, my dear?
She (primly)-Our discussions are
never informal. We take up no sub.
iect which has not been properly in.
PRODUCED.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06
Print Paper from Rice Straw.

A new raw material for the manufac-
ture of print paper has been discov-
cred in rice straw, and 1t is hoped
that this product may partly take the
place of wood pulp, which Is now
growing scarce. Rice straw has been
so high that 1t was not practicable Tor
ordinary purposes. a machine ! as
been invented which has . caraoity
of five tons of rice stray ulr d ".
Demonstrations of this mach''r 40
now being made in the rice fcl's az
Louisiana and Texas, and if II ! ecv"'
successful the rice farmers WIN ,iosN &.
more land to the IA slug ct { p.ln
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-05-06

Aennedy . Laxative KoCey and la
Cures all Coughs, and expcIS Colds from
ne system BY gently U1oyin0 s>0 bowels
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1908-01-31
DEMOCRATIC HARMONY

That Judge Harmon, the democratic
lawyer and leader of Ohio, should be
accompanying Nj Bryan on a speak
ing tour of the south is a striking cir
CUmstanCe. Mr.. Harmon has not been
Familiarity known as belonging to the
circle of Mr.. Bryan's special friends,
but it is well remembered that he re-
tired from employment by this admin
istratiOn because it would not allow
him to prosecute some prominent law
breakers in a manner he deemed ne
Cessary to secure their conviction.
Taken in Connection with numerous
other incidents and expressions among
the more conservative wing of the
democratic party it is evidence sufi-
cient that a basis Of harmony has been
reached, and that the party will be
entirely united in the coming cam.
paign. There may be still some recall.
citrants, but they will be few and will
have no influence over the sturdy
masses of the voters. The prospects
of the party for victory are better
than they have been since 1896, when
the presidency was bought and be-
trayed away. There are no traitors
now. and the people are awake to the
Ubiquitous methods of the republican
party. The use Of money will be so
reduced by law and an improved NOR
al tone as to be practically of no val
ne 70 The contradictions Times
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1908-01-31
THE YOUNG MAN-Hls oPPORTU
NIFTY

There was never a time when the
young man, possessing brains, ener.
gy and honesty, had an opportunity
equal that presented to him today
There has never been a period when
business men were on the lookout for
young men possessing these qualities
as is present today. And the young
man who takes advantage Of the op-
portunity does his duty we'll in a sub
ordinate position is the young man
who Will forge his way to the front
and take position higher up in the
course Of only a short time.
The expression, You cant keen
a good man down" is truer than ever.
1t has, ana Will always, be true. It
IS likewise fact that the young man
who goes around, his hair parted in
the middle and smoking a cigarette
has practically no opportunity at all
HIS mental arrangement is so distOrt-
ed that he is OF no service in the
world Of push about him. His position
in the world is much like a fungus
from the life of a useful plant.
taking everything he can and giving
nothing in return.
Young man, don't be q human fun
somebody. Do something,
You can make man Of yourself if
You VIII exert the proper effort. Rise
m your young manhood and take vour
seat upon the chrome opportunity Of
.ers you today.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1908-01-31
lyon YoHNsows" eUeLE CALL

Gov. John a. Johnson, in the fol-
lowing telegram TO the New York
World. stamps himself as a proper
man for the democratic nomination
for the presidency:
The commercial and industrial de-
velopment Of this country has reached
point where the popular adjustment
of right has become the question of
the hour. The present unrest of our
people is evidence Of the determine
ton shared by all that the fundamen-
tai principles of TINS government shall
be maintained. These include the
dignity Of labor, equality before the
law, the equal enforcement of the
laws and entire absence of special
privileges.
Great corporations, especially those
exercising at least some Of the pow
ers of government. must come to the
realization that they are as amenable
to the law as is the individual citi-
zen.
The trust problem is still to be
solved. but. while searching for the
complete remedy, we can At least
withdraw from their grasp the special
privileges they have enjoyed under
a high protective tariff.
1T must be apparent that our pres
ent tariff, while mainly responsible
for the existence of the trusts. is, in
addition, a tax upon the masses for
the benefit of the few.
The farming of taxes in France.
before the revolution, was no more in
iQUitOus than in our present tariff
system. 1908 will be a memorable
year for the struggle of equal rights
and American ideals. This year will
see tariff reform accomplished or well
under way. for if the present congress
does not at the present session make
substantial reductions the people in
November will elect those pledged so
TO do"
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1908-01-31
THE POLITICAL OUTLOOK

The republicans are disturbed over
conditions in the west. They are for
the first time in many years having
troubles of their own. Hitherto they
confined their attentions to democrat
ic dissentions and foolish and unwise
fault-fnding, but today they have
troubles of their own. Tbis from the
Washington Herald tells in part the
story:
The state of affairs in the west is
far from reasuring. Republicans are
even questioning whether Ohio's cleo
toral vote can now be safely counted
upon. More men are out Of employ
ment than for many years past. and
the negroes are in a mood to make
trouble on account of the Browns
vile episode. The labor vote is less
friendly to the republican party than
for some years past Tho elements
which are likely to affect the vote of
Ohio in marked degree. apart from
the internal party Gis-ouuous. win be
tel, also III other states uuelss the
candidate De most judtc.ously chos-
en-.
Cannon, Fairbanks and Knox are
figuring more strongly in the prcsi-
Dental question than heretofore. All
three of them are champioed as con-
seryauvos. although their supporters
earnestly denoUnce any illusion to
hem as react0naries." -lIontgomarv
Journal.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1908-01-31
THE CITY OF HERCULANEUM TO
BE UNEARTHED

Herculaneum. the ancient Roman
city. which has lain for 1900 years I'M
der the Vesuvian lava which buried it
with Pompeu, is soon to reveal its
treasures 10 itauan ant:Quar.es. The
Italian government has rejected the
proposal TO make This important eXca-
YaUiOn under the direction of an inter
national committee and will under
take the work as an exclusive Italian
enterprise The work will be financed
by the government, although the au-
thOrities will be prepared to take the
advice Of eminent foreign antiquaries.
The buried city is expected to yield
much richer treasures than were re-
covered from the ruins of POmpeii,
and when the excavation is completed
il will have increased modern knOwl-
edge of life under the Caesars to a
remarkable degree. II is no exagger-
alton TO say that the exhumatiOn of
HerCulaneum will be the most impOr-
tanU work OF antiquatjOu research ever
undertaken, since the sudden cata-
Clysm which overlook the city in the
full tide OF its life must have preserv-
ed much more Of its characteristic tea-
lures than would have survived if the
city had gradually decayed.
This will be the first time that a
thorough excavation Of Herculaneum
has been attempted. The surface has
been hardly more than scratched since
the city was discovered in 173S, and
the city lies from 40 TO 100 feet deep
The cite has become covered with
modern villages. which have hamper
ed the work Of excavation.
The results. nevertheless, have
been more interesting and valuable
than those of the Pompeiian excava-
lions. They have included a superb
Roman villa. probably belonging 10 Luz /
cius Piso CaesoHiua, a Roman noble; /.
frescoes Of remarkable beauty and
some fine statuary; and about 5000
papyri, containing manuscripts Of ia Il.
nous classical authors The theater. /
the forum and a splendid colonnade |
will be re-exhumed, for they have al
ready been unearthed and covered up /
again.
The whole world Of antiquaries and |
classical students is looking forward /
eagerly to the great work at Hercu-
laneum which, it is expected, will not
only give to the world a new mine of |
ancient art, but also d wealth Of clas-
steal literature, including, perhaps, the
works of hitherto unknown authors. |
Prof Waldstein of Cambridge eng |
land, is the enthusiast to whom the
world owes the initiation of the
scheme, for it is he who has worked |
for years urging the importance of a |
thorough excavation on the site Of
HerCulaneum.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1908-01-31

Frank Harris complains that Sena-
tor Bryan has never made any great
speech nor has he written any IA
nous magazine article. The same is
true of Senator TaIiaferro, who is one
OF the best representative at the ma
tiOnal capital Senator Bryan, how
ever, has distinguished himself as the
orator at the commencement exercises
at Washington and Lee University.
at Lexington, Va, last year, and has
made a clean personal and official re-
cord. Frank Harris, usually fair and
considerate, has been, in the opinion
of many, unjust and too aggressive in
his attacks on FIOrida's gifted young
senatOr.-JacksOnvill Metropolis.
The editor of the Banner tries to be
fair. He knows of no attacks that he
has made upon Floridas young sena-
tor. 1t was no reporter of the Ocala
Banner that misquOted the young SEN
atOr. 1t was not the Ocala Banner
that reported the young senator as
saying that he was going to make
the best senator any state ever had"
and that he was going to be the old
est senator"
On the contrary, the Banner said
that it hoped that he had been mis-
quoted.
1t also expressed the wish that he
would make a record the state would
be proud of.
AS soon as the young senator made
a denial of the interview the Ocala
Banner printed the denial
The Ocala Banner also printed the
young senator's open letter." word
for word, as he wrote it,
That is the record of tn. Banners
fairness.
What about the fairness of the Me
tropOlis?
1t did not print the Banners editor
ial. 1t did not say that the Banner
had printed Senator Bryau's denial
and his open letter. but on the con
trary misrepresented the utterances
and admissions of this paper.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1908-01-31

The Louisville Co1rlerJouraal de-
clarcs that there Is intoxicaHon in the
kiss OF girl. That being about The
only intcNcanr left in Georsia. saws
the Augusta Herald. il viii doubtless
be much sought Notwithstanding
Iimes-Jnion. Well we suppose that
Is correct bus up To the present time
we have never had the pleasure Of
contracting intoxica-ou from a kiss.
We believe. however it is perfectly
possible for a man To become fntoxf-
Gated with an idea. Of course he must
set the idea first and then become in
toucated. There are so many people
who become intoxicated without an
Idea and wake up next morning with
out any money that we really believe
that It is safer and more sane 10 be
come Intoxicated on q kiss. What
would Fourth Of July jag. made from
a kiss, look like anyway?-New Or
leans World.
The Ocala banner. (Ocala, Marion County, Fla.) 1883-194?, 1908-01-31

Put down the number Of vog~ living
brothers.
Double the plumber.
Add three.
Multiply result by five.
Add number Of living sisters.
Multiply result by ten.
Add number of dead brothers and
sisters.
Subtract $50 from the result.
The rlgLchauG figure VIII be the
number Of deaths.
The middle figure viii be the num-
Der of living sisters.
The lefc-hard figure viii be the num-
Der Of living brothers.
Strange freak Of figures, isn't it,
Dixie Home.