davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
An Agricultural S,.r..isa.

Eastern Visitors to thc west ar generally prepared for any phenomena showing: in the line of agriculture stock raising and the like" says a ca, orado man. hut once in awhile the, sre taken hy surprise. A New H#ni shire man who was spcndin. his vHca ticn on q ranch of a relative in Cobra dc went otit one morning to inspect :: large incubator Ill which the yUUn. chicks were matching. In one corner of the incubator 4 neglected peach >HrS encouraged ly the warmth of the at mosphere had burst. and a tiny Sl,rulll several inches long was growing ol1 of it.
 "'Sufcrinc Caesar" e1cla imetl tht New Hampshire man as this caught his eye. Do you hatch out your peach es i'll this coHnjry: Kansas City Iu dependent.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Where Diners Had to Be on Time

efV DfFAVfS t1AU kp 0e Qrl ff1e.
 Closely parallel to the flag end Q tho Huston road and visible from t a various turnlngs Is q street which F.e longs to few mems London It Is :: dinKy. granite paved. popnious stree of no attraction. Yet this street ha, known better times and eager gucsr>; In the house he knew as A. now ohIit erated by & big new warehouse, nr William Kitchener entertained his fcl low wits and gourmets. He had an pie means to ride his three hobbies optics, cookery and music His din ners were often elaborate experiments in cookery, and the guests had to rec ognize this fact. Five minutes past was the minute, and if a guest cau.e late the janitor had irreyocable orders not to admit him. for 1t was held h, the mythical committee of taste of whom Kitchener was "secretary
 that the perfection of some of tl.t dishes was often so evanescent tha 'the delay of one minute after thci, arrival at the meridian of concoctiVl will render thcm no longer worthy nt men If taste" T. rs London Weekly
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Great Musicians Eecen.ricit es

\ Dolls were the idols. after ! Is Sloyed instruments. Of Domenco tsa
 gonetti, the king of the double b;tes SHe had huge collection of these pal, spets dressed In various national eos atnmes, and wherever Dragonetti wca, sthe dolls were sure to go. That wss
 only ore of this eccentric genius res giarities. He would never play unle= q his dog were In the orchestra, an,. F body would hare got 6 note out Of
 him unless he had been permitted Sit in the orchestra next to the stage door. This was rrtcaution to enal,t him to save his wonderful instrumnGt in case of fire. The instrument it~rnt he brought from the monastery Of s. Pietro when on visit to Ninccnzi ant' when he died he bcquea thed il fo S.l Mark s. Venice, to he used at solemn serviccs,-London Standard
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
The CarIvies' Maid,

The Carlyles had maid who wa- untidy, useless in all ways, but "abounding in grace" and in consc quent censure of every one above ol below her and of everything she eoul'. not understand. After long appstro phe one day as she was bringing in dinner Carlyle ended with. And this can tell you-that if you do not carry the dishes straight, so as not to spll! the gravy. so far from being tolerated .n heaven, you won't be even tolerated on earth"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
II Was His Doc.
lObilp rlaShod .

HnooLie dashed along the ec0h'fr r"si. Turning q curve if es me sudd'h!y upon man with q c,lu or, his shol;lee'' an,! q weak, sick loul,rr. o'd dog hoS'':n }l,r El4 do. was ,j. fecl'y in the P#ta ~ the motor c;r he rh"ilirrur sounded his horn bur, me o"@ df;! not lnave until he vas struck, After th1t he d,I not move.
 The an'"no't'" stopped and one of the m"n @"t "1,, and came forward He had ",rc paid q farmer SlO f,i k5'I'n- "a,f lI,at hclonyed to anotho, fal14er. 1hi> t,ue he was wary.
 Was thar your dogT'
 Yes"
 You own him.
 "Yes"
 Looks as f we'd Killed him"
 Certainly looks SO
 Very valuable siogt'
 Well. n0t so very"
 win B. satisfy ynu:''
 Yea"
 Well, then, here you are.' Hehanei cd s:1 bin to t'e man with the gun and added pleasantly. I'm sorry to have broken I'D rnur hunt'
 Il wasn't going hup.:1x," replied the other as he I,ocheted tho bill.
 s'Not going hunting? Then what were yon doing with inc dog and the gun :'' Going down 10 the woods to shoot the 'inS -foutts Companion.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
How to Make oii of swalIows.

Among the valued specifies Of by gone age was oil of swallows, -o the "Countess of Rents Choice Manual ue76l there are the following curious directions for making 1t: "Take one handful of mother thyme, of lavender cotton and strawberry leaves of each alike, four swallows, feathers and all together well bruised, three ounces of sallet oil, beat the herbs and the swal- lows feathers and all altogether. until they be so small that you can see no feathers, then put in the oil and stir them well together, and seeth them in . posnet and strain them through a canvas cloth and so keep t for your cAe'
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Surprised the Ghoet,

A ghost, a vague white form which eatted about a small neglected grave ynrd in Galway. much to tho alarm oi hose who lived near by. ono of the gentlemen of our party undertook te ny Going out not far from midnight As did indeed soon become aware of ( wh1te figure looming toward him through the darknesa. Our friend however. held on his way undeterred.
 "0host," he said in sspnlcbra) tones when he came near, "could you drink a glass of whisky?"
 T could so, your honor" blithely r. sponded the ghost, taken of his bal ance by the unexpected offer. and standing revealed as the principal poacher of the neighborhcod. who had availed himself of this spectral guise to set his night lines and carry on lis other depredations undlsturbed.-Rlack woods Magazine.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Story of 6 Greek Saint.

A melabcr of the Royal Geograrh'i'A eccicty gives this little story of : Greek sa;,lt: "Cnlr good St. Nlazin' gave us ,he phrase drunk as B!azcS. for this saint WIS pleasantly done l' death hy having bis flesh torn eff ''' wool con;hS. and So he became the N' tron of the English wool comherS. a''' as high feast was kept up on his t"' and the people who freqnented r" feast were called Blazers so the say..t. grew into the English tongue and re mains there fixed and uscful.'
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
A Queer Colncidence.

While a serial story was running i'1 . certain nY gazine lady in Johann"s. burg wrote to the publisher askn , whether Christian Lys Nhe author s nom de plumel was assumed or na' She herself was Mrs Iss. who va trying to trace an ancest.r of her |; husband. who was dtscenGant u. Joan of Arc. Mr Rrehner, the auth, in question wrote assuring her th., his pen name was a family one. h forbears having come from Aherdee.. Strangely enough. 1t came out that hci family came also from Aberdeen and their name was Erebner-Pall Ma Gazette,
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Cochineai.

Cochineal so much used for coloril: table jellies and also given to infani' as a domestic remedy for whoopills cough, Is the whole insect of clas called coccus, but only the females ar' used. Why? Because the insects ar' captured by suffocating them with 'i1' smoke of fires below the trees on whieA they live, and as tbe males have wing while the females have none, the gen uemen take to flight when the atmoS phere becomes unpleasantly WarI'' leaving their ladies to their fate.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
PiIcrin,s and Furitans.

The pilgrims, or. as they are oftc' called, the pilgrim fathers wer' the seventy four men and the twent, eight women. members of the loh, Robinson's church. who sailed in th' Mayfower from Leyden 10 Nortl America and landed at Plymouth Rect. where they founded colony Dee. -. 1920. The Puritans were the Eng]is' nonconfcrmists who came over latcr the name being given to them on &@ count of their supposed great ppri', of doctrine, life and discipline Ne V York American
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
e,od Manners of the Mind,

A man is known by the company his mind keeps. To live continually wtl' noble books. with high erected thoughts seated in the heart of conF tesy," teaches the soul good manners. T. E. AIdrich.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Both Deceived.

Customer-Yon have deceived tut outrageously, You told me iha! would be provided with good w"i"! as long as I lived, and now after larH ly fortnight it is quite good for noth ing! Watchmaker-Bu it Is not m! fault that yon were so thin and sick looking. For Transatlantic Tales From Fliegende Blatter.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Modification.

"Of course, doctor. German measles are seldom serious?"
 "I never met but one fatal case" "Fatalr'
 "Yes. It was Frenchman, a!iti when he discovered it was Germa'i measles that he had modification sci tn."
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
E.ssy RNtyna.rs.

William Mai.epcace Thackeray In his hnes Peg of l.imavady' acknowledges himself a cockney. 4 was hardly nec' essary for him to do this, as not only in that poem Ut in others, he makes the syllatIs "tlg" Thyme with sylla- bles like "in" and ''en," failing to sound the conc'', ij": g." Richard Harris Barham l'.cc'dsby 'cgends. most facile H.. ',..: h, don the same thing over aA CT again, thus Tightening his lah4> greatly in the pursuit of rhymes
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
The Horse He Wanted,

A Scotch farmer bought horse. Go ins home he thought drink would 'e fresh it, so he got pail of water, bat the animal would not take 1t. On reaching home he gave 1t a feed of corn, but 1t would not touch that ei- thes. "Ye're the vera horse for me if ye only work" the farmer was heard to Eav.-Dundee Advertiser.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
He, Postscript.

Why does a woman always ao0 postscript to her letterF'
 ''Well,'' answered the angaiiao wretch. "she probably figures out j her own mind what her letter a& made you think and then tries | have the last word.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Warnings.

Mrs. Stubb-I notice so many mar Tied men save the receipted milline' bills. What use do they make of them Mr. Stubb-Charity Mrs. Stubb-Cbar iu2 Mr. Stubb-Yes; they are se''i around to the bachelor clubs to waFn any reckless member who might ef thinking about plunging into the se'' of matrj,nony Chicago News.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Best Sleep of At~

"I see that an eminent physician de clares that t,vu hours of sleep before midnight are worth more than six after that hour"
 Nonsense. Two hours of sleep after you're called in the morning are worth more than anything else "-Ph1ladel- phia Press.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Conflicting.

Haven't told you asked the father. always to tell the truth7'
 Yes. you told ne that the .ouns man admitted, "but at another Ndme you told me never to become the slave 2 . habit"
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
she Smaeked of Books.

'"Tbey tell me you kissed Miss Son aet, the roetess, on yesterdays auto mobile excuf sion."
 "Yes. That is true.'
 Indeed, And how did you-ah-fnd herY'
 "Nftss Sonnet has a marked literary taste."-New orleans Times Democrat
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Advice They Heed.

"Yes, I'm going abroad at once. ) gotta go"
 "Oh. you mns,n't let the doctors scare you.''
 "I got ihis from lawyer. ."-Wash fngton Herald.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
No asina.

Jawe;er-rhi~ liU-: is j shillin"S rl'-"" than the plain nne On account oi l''" chasing. BuNer--But you won't have .o chase me. I'm going to pay Tor Thit gat.-Londcr Lady.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
Eroratituoe.

One of the passengers from WFHts ed s,camer who was saved by pigs swimutu- ashore with life line At" hacon for brc" hfa~t aS soon d. hc "! rived at Sydney i.Ncharge.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
The Trouble.

Jones-I understand there is tron'l" between Mrs. Poet and her husDan4 Smith - Yes. He couldn't sell his poemA, and she couldn't eat them, s' she left him.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
q Yachting Trip.

Captain-rlease. sir. your wife has fallen overheard. Owner-COnfound it. Another of those sinking spells of bers --Harpers Weekly.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19

The man who gambles is deluded foel. but the man who gambles when he continues to lose is colossal foeA- Henry eutphiA
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19

No man was ever so much decelveo by ano.her as by himself. .-tireviie.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19

There are no points of the compass sa the chart os rue patrastasm.- throp.
Pine Bluff daily graphic., 1908-03-19
FOR RENT.
Dwellings.

Dwellings. No. lhlS West Third ave, 1 rooms No. 1501 West Fifth ave. , rooua. No. 2O09 West Fifth ave. f ror7an No, 5o9 W S'N'h ave-. 10 yc,s,r7a. No. ''o% ... ~t'n ave. rcgynis and hal.
 For !ra; ,CcIorcd,
 l"rllinp>. No. 2903 West Twelfth ave, 2 roo-saa. No. 1127 Louisiana st., 3 rooms. No. 1922 Fir st., 3 rooms. No. i'll Spruce st., rooms. No. 1210 Fir st., rooms. No. S11 Linden st., 3 rooms. No S0i East Fifteenth ave, roous$. Agent for Sawyer & Austin Lpgss~s company's dwellings,.
 Fire! Fire! Are you insured? If not, why rsyss Delay is dAngerous. I represent OR line companies. Place your ,nsurNnn with me.
 CHAA. HANCOCK,
 113 Pias ssrssH
The Holly chieftain., 1908-04-10

not good enough for those fellows,
and they call themselves 'morticians'
Now that the matter has been called
to my attention will bring it up at
the next meeting of the association
Trading stamps! What next?"
The woman who disclosed the trad
ing-stamp scheme entered Rolston's
undertaking establishment accom-
panied by her brother. She appar-
emily was about 40 years old. John
Morris, manager of the establishment.
noticed that she did not have the
grief-stricken appearance of widows
who come there on . similar errand.
Throwing back the long veil that
hid her face she brushed tear away
with a black bordered handkerchief.
Il might as we'll tell you at the
start" she said to Manager Morris,
that l haven't any money to throw
away on funerals. What l want is
a nice, plain casket, not expensive,
but at the same time one that will
look all right. l don't want 1t to look
cheap, for folks probably would talk
about it. Something for about $50, l
think, would be the proper thing"
Mr.. Morris showed the widow and
her escort several caskets at the price
named. and they selected one which
the man observed was good enough
for king"
A brown robe was preferred to
black one, because the decedent was
partial to the former color. Other de-
tails of the funeral were arranged.
after which Mr.. Morris asked the
widow and her brother to be seated
in the office while he took down the
name and address.
1t was at this juncture that the
woman asked about the trading
| stamps.
You've made mistake. madam"
said the undertaken.
And you don't give trading
stamps?" she calculated. well, then,
I'll go where l can get them. know
two women who buried their husbands
in the last year and the undertaken
gave them trading stamps. They live
on the northwest side. One lady got
beautiful parlor lamp for her stamps
and the other an onyx top center table.
"And you mean to say you don't
give stamps?" Why, the very ideal"
She was still talking about stamps
! when she reached the sidewalk.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-04-10
Well in a Churchyard.

Hadstock, in Essex, England. pos
sesses what is probably unique
water supply. 1t is entirely derived
from deep we'll in the parish church.
yard. The we'll Is over 800 years old,
and is known as st. Botolph's we'll.
The inhabitants of Hadstock declare
that 1t contains the best drinking
water in the kingdom. and, as the
village In question Is one Of the
healthiest places in Essex. there is
undoubtedly some truth in their boast.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-04-10
5be Darvel, @be Dean{ne
ano I9be Power Of the
Resurrectior
BY ygliliam Groswe Doane
BY ymilltam Groswell Doane
Bisbop Of albanv

an outlook beyond the grave and con-
sole us in the hour of bereavement.
God forbid that there should be any
shadowing of this hope. But the prac-
tical question concerns our daily lifo
now.
Humanity stands to-day, as 1t has
stood for all these centuries, facing
the fact of the wonderful life that our
Lord lived here on earth, with the
strange and inexplicable combination
of fleshly reality without the restraints
and hindrances of the flesh. And that
means, in the first place, the pattern
set, and in the next place the power
given to us to live our lives on higher
lines.
Translated into plain English, the
great Easter thought is that we may
not be absorbed and immersed in
merely earthly, temporal, carnal
thoughts and things. Life, new more
than in our day, is crowded wiz bust.
ness, with pleasure. even where it is
not choked with indulgence and sue.
cess.
The idlers and loungers, with no
thought but amazement, are far too
many.
The craze for accumulation Of ma
terial wealth is wearing out the
strength and dulling all the finer facul-
ties Of men and women. And the
carelessness and idleness of people
society and the demands Of home du-
ties, waste daylight hours and turn
night into day with games of chance.
accentuated too often with the covet-
BUSINESS Of gambling, are q reproach
to the best inheritances and instincts
of Americans.
"You have no leisure class in Ameri-
ca" an Englishman said once to an
American girl.
"Yes," she said, I'VE have. but we
call them tramps.
Leisure there ought to be. Men and
women there must be who are free
from the strain and strenuousness Of
incessant occupation, but it ought to
be leisure for intellectual cultiva-
ton, for philanthropic interest, for
the storing Of energy, physical, mental
and spiritual, which shall benefit man.
kind.
Awake thou that sleepest and arise
from the dead!" This is the Easter
call, the Easter cry
Hiding even one talent in the nap
kin of refined Incidence or self-indul-
gence or burying it in the dirt of
sensuality and sin, either one makes
an Improbable servant" and lays up
against the second coming OF the Lord
an account of wasted powers and lost
opportunities which will then be be-
yond recall.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-04-10
Elephant Ha. stomaehache.

Philadelphia.-An elephant with a
stomachache kept the neighborhood
of Race and Darien streets in an up
roar for several hours the other morn
ing by trumpeting series of shrieks
which could be heard for many blocks.
Before the huge beast could be
quieted the assistance of the Pennsyl-
vania society for the prevention Of
cruelty to animals, . veterinary sur.
geon, and an experienced animal
dealer had to be called upon.
The pachyderm was not made com.
Portable until after four gallons OF
whisky, pound of morphine. quart
of Jamaica ginger, and quart of pure
alcohol had been administered.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-04-10
DOGS ARE THEIR TERROR.
Great Falls, Mont, People Look to
Philadelphia for Relief.

Philadelphia Cowboys Of the west
know how to fight Indians. corral
horses and cattle and usually deal
quickly and finally with either man or
beast But in a town out in Montana
called Great Falls. the authorities
have acknowledged their inability to
cope with plain. everyday dogs, as is
evidenced by letter. characteristic of
the western brusqueness, which was
received by Chief Deputy Prothono
tary James w. Fletcher. 1t follows:
ONCE Of the City Engineer, Great
Falls, Mont, Mar. Z, 190S.-City Clerk,
Philadelphia.-Dear Sir: Your city is
credited with having the most prac-
ticable city ordinance for the regula
ton Of dogs Of any city in the United
States. would esteem 1t a favor II
you would furnish me with copy Of
said ordinance. Our city has more
dugs to the square inch Of population
The Holly chieftain., 1908-04-10
than the Holy City of Damascus, and

than the Holy City of Damascus, and
for every dog executed two more ap
pear to fill his place. Jack rabbits In
California are not in it. Our dogs are
licensed renegades. they wear high col
lars covered with brass tags and
promenade through the business
streets; they get the first whack at
everything we have to eat, and alto
gether they are more undesirable
acquisition than Cree Indians, and we
are determined to legislate them out
of business.
Any Information you may find 1t
convenient to furnish will be greatly
appreciated and duly reciprocated.
Yours truly.
(Signed) C. w. SWEARINGEN,
City Engineer.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-04-10
WIDOW ASKS STAMPS.

because he would not give her some
stamps.
Friends Of hers, she said. who re-
Gently had deaths in their families,
were given trading stamps by the un-
dertaker, and she insisted on getting
the coupons or she would go else.
where.
The matter OF trading stamps will
be brought before the Chicago Under.
takers association at its next meeting
M. M. Goodale, president of the as.
sociation, said that "the trading stamp
business was new one on him." but
he supposed those engaged in 1t were
"undertakers who carry on a death.
bed insurance"
Those vultures," said Mr. Goodale
will do anything to get business. The
old-fashioned name of undertaken is
The Holly chieftain., 1908-04-10
SPANKING LEADS 10 COURT.
Twenty Five Year-oId stepdaushter
Causes Farmers Arrest.

Milford, Del.-Alleged to have taken
the privilege of spanking his pretty
25-year-old stepdaughter, Miss Mary
Bennett, as II she were baby, Henry
Clay Jones. prominent and well-to-do
farmer living near Milford, was held
under $1,000 bail for his appearance at
the April term Of court by Squire
Fisher.
The trouble grew out Of dispute
over butter and eggs between Jones
and Miss Bennett. with whom Jones
lives, as his wife at her death left the
property to her daughter and son by
former marriage.
Miss Bennett testified that. after she
had been seized by the arms without
provocation and thrown to the floor,
Jones proceeded to administer an old
fashioned spanking. 'as mother used
to do." Miss Bennett said she was
Frustrated by the shock and DR.. James
G. Stanton testified that she was In
jured internally. Jones claimed that
he only brushed the girl aside, but
Miss Benefits story seemed to satisfy
the court. and Jones was held on a
charge of aggravated assault.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-04-10
DEMANDS PREMIUM OF UNDER.
TAkER ON BUYING COFFIN.
Refuses Patronage When Trading Ger.
tificates Are Refused Her-Thrift-
ty "Morticians' Offering In
ducements for Business,
Copyright by waidon Fawcstt.

Chicago-"Trading Stamps with
Every Funeral" is the placard that
one may expect to see soon in the
windows Of up-to-date Chicago under
takers.
That two or three funeral directors
on the northwest side Of the city
have adopted the trading-stamp sys-
tenn to increase business was revealed
the other day when a bereaved widow
Cancelled an order at H. NJ. Rolston' 8