davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
FOUND A WAY
To Be Clear of the Coffee Troubles.

Husband and myself both had the
coffee habit and finally his stomach
and kidneys got IN such a bad condi-
ton that he was compelled to give up
a good position that he had held for
years. He was too sick to work. His
skin was yellow, and | hardly think
there was al organ In his body that
vas not affected.
II told him l felt sure his sickness
was due to coffee and after some dis.
cussion he decided to give It up.
ut was a struggle because OF the
powerful habit. One day We heard
about Postum and concluded to try II,
and then 1t was easy to leave of
coffee.
His fearful headaches grew less
frequent, his complexion began to
clear, kidneys grew better until at
last he was a new man altogether, as
a result of leaving of coffee and tax.
Ing up Postum. Then ] began to
drink It, too.
although l was never as bad of
as my husband, / was always very
nervous and never at any time very
strong, only weighing 95 lbs. before
| began to use Postum. Now l weigh
1l5 lbs. and can do as much work as
anyone my size. / think.
MANY do not use Postum because
they have not taken the trouble to
make 1t right. have successfully
fooled a great many persons who have
drunk 1t at my table They would
remark, You must buy a high grade
Of coffee One young man who clerked
In a grocery store was very enthusias
tic about my coffee When I told
him what 1t was. he said. why I've sold
Postum for four years but ! had nc
idea 1t was like this. Think I'll drink
Postum hereafter"
Name given by Postum Co, Battle
Creek, Mich. Read THE Road to Well
vIlle." In pkgs. There's q Reason"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
ENDED THE BIBLE READING.
Beginner Resented Wlfe's Enjoyment
Of His Mistake.

A Kansas City man, who had fol-
lowed stock quotations, football cores
and race form sheets more closely
than he had religious and literary mat
tiers, recently was persuaded by his
wife to read aloud each evening from
the Old Testament to improve the
knowledge Of both on Biblical matters.
The man became interested in the
story Of the scriptures and read aloud
several evenings with great gusto and
pleasure. One night as he vas swing
ing along he read: "And they horse
whipped the beasts"
Hold on" exclaimed his wife.
"What was that?"
"They horsewhipped the beasts" he
repeated. and continued reading. His
wife got up from her sewing, crossed
the room, looked over his shoulder and
read:
"'They worshiped the beasts
There" she said, 81 knew the word
horsewhlpped was not in the Bible.
He! He!"
The man closed the Bible with o
snap. clasped the snap, and that con.
cluded the readings for all time.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
NEED OF MONEY FOR ARMY.
Parsimony In Military Matters Would
Not Be Wise Act.

Chairman Tawney of the house com.
mittee on appropriations has made a
statement which contains some sug-
gestive figures. The estimates for the
present fiscal year submitted to con-
gress last winter aggregated $500, 000,-
900. Those Just submitted for the
mex fiscal year foot up 1897 600, 900.
In the opinion Of the chiefs OF the diff
ferent departments the requirements
of the government have grown IL per
cent, or 500, 000, 600, in n year.
The estimated revenue for the next
fiscal year Is $S7S, 600, 900. These es-
Inmates at long range are sometimes
far out of the way. They may be seri-
ously affected by unexpected changes
In condition. II the money asked for
by the departments were to be voted,
and the estimated e were col
lected. there would be a deficit, after
making all allowances, of $50, 900, 900.
Chairman Tawney's commentary on
these figures is that they show the
practical impossibility of congress at
this session undertaking new projects
or authorizing new governmental serv-
ices, the appropriations for which
would have to be met tut of the rev.
enue for the mex fiscal year.
AS the increase in the estimates In
good part is due to the larger sums
asked on behalf of the army and navy,
it is conjectured that the committee
on appropriations will cut down great
ly the figures submitted by the war
and navy departments. But some in
crease in appropriations for the army
and navy Is necessary. 1t Is claimed
by the men familiar with army condi-
lions that 1t will be a skeleton soon
unless the soldiers are better paid,
Congress must maintain the efficiency
of the army.
There should be no extravaganza in
appropriations. There should be a
serious attempt to harmonic receipts
and expenditures, so that there may
be neither a deficit nor a surplus. The
present surplus Is altogether too large.
But the pruning knife need not be APP
piled exclusively to the military esti-
mates, ever though there IL no war
in sight. There may be exuberant
civil estimates which will furnish the
committee on appropriations an oppor.
tunity to display its skill in keeping
down expenses.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
Seeking Experjence,

Up to the age Of 16 Dick had re.
tanned the proper scorn of things fem.
mime. Then he went to dancing
school and fell smitten by the charms
Of several youthful Ewes. Accordingly,
Dick approached his father and re.
quested theater tickets for two.
Father complied and merely asked
as he turned over the seats, (which
girl is it?"
I'm going to take Mabel" respond
ed Dick.
Then she's the one you like best?"
father continued.
Dick turned a superior and plying
eye upon his parent. "Oh, no! / don't
like her best. You don't understand
the situation. father. II isn't the girl
l care about. It's the experience !
want"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
OBJECT LESSON Foa CHILDREN.
Mayor Was Quick to See and Impress
Good Point.

II vas FIVE minutes before noon.
The mayor and the state superintcnd
end had spent an hour talking to the
children In an Ohio school, and Just
before the stroke OF the gong the
chairman OF the local school commit.
tee vas called upon to follow them.
Children" he said, pointing toward
the window, "as you go out from the
school In about two minutes you will
see a gang Of men who are now shovel.
ing clnders into a railway train. They
are earning s35 a month.
Beside them is a t~imekeeper earn.
ing s55.
AT the head OF the train IL an en-.
gineer getting 800. and over him Is
a superintendent getting two hun.
dred.
What Is the difference between
those men? Education. Get all you
can Of it,"-Youth's Companion.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
TO THE WEST
THERE LIE HOPES or DEMOCRAT.
&c LEADERS.
With Bryan as the Nominee There Does
Not Seem Any Good Reason Why
His Probability Of Election
Seems Good.

II is announced from Chicago that
certain potential influences connected
with the national committee OF the
Democratic party will make strenuous
effort to have the western metropolis
selected as the base from which the
campaign in the interests Of the Dem.
ocratic presidential candidate will be
directed. 1t is taken for granted
this western element that Bryan Is
again to be the Democratic nominee,
and the scheme as reported Is to con
centrate effort upon the contests for
the electoral votes OF Indiana, ILL
nois, Michigan, Iowa, Wisconsin and
Minnesota. Missouri, 1t is taken for
granted, will swing back easily to the
Democratic column with Bryan as a
candidate, and the new state of Okla.
homa is counted In with the solid
south as a sure Democratic quantity
II the Nebraskan Is named. New York,
in the plans of this western scheme,
Is to be given over, 1t seems, without
any waste Of oratory or the spending
Of a kopek from the Democratic cam
paign fund. 1t is to be noted, how.
ever, that the states which are con
sidered debatable represent a very
large aggregate voting strength In the
presidential electoral college.
There would have to be ar immense
change in sentiment in such states as
Illinois, Wisconsin, Iowa and Michigan
II they a by any process OF persua
sion or augmentation be shunted &c
the Bryan column next year. In 1900
when Bryan was the Democratic can
didate against Mckinley, Illinois
gave a plurality for the Republican
electors Of 94,S74. Iowa the same
year elected the Republican electors
by a plurality of 9S,606; Wisconsin
gave a verdict for Mckinley indicated
by a plurality Of LOG, 5S1, and Mich
a went Republican by a plurality o
104,5S4. Though each of these states
went Republican in the presidential
election of 1904 by considerably larger
pluralities than in the election o.
1900, there is certainly nothing In tn,
returns from the middle west In 1901
to indicate that Bryan would have tn,
ghost Of a chance in 1908. The plu
ralities against Bryan In 1900 wer'
large enough to depress the exuber
nee of any candidate with only ordi
nary staying qualities. 1t must b,
conceded, however, that the Peerless
One as a slayer Is not to be classeC
among the ordinary.
The outlook is really no more invit
ing in the west for the Democrat.
with Bryan as the candidate than |
would be In. the east with the Ne
braskan a third time In the running
He did not carry any large state Il
the west In 1900, unless Missouri
to be classed as a western state. an
It is generally accredited as southern
Even California went against Bryal
in 1900 by 10000 plurality. Whethe
the Democratic campaign be diercte,
from Chicago or New York, whethe
the concentration of effort be directe
to the winning Of the middle west o
to the capture Of the northeast, tn
outlook in either case can scarcel
be regarded as a roseate one by who
ever shoulders the responsibility @
steering the presidential campaign G
the Democracy next year.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
DOCTOR SAID "UsE cuTlcuRA"
In Bad Case Of Eczema on Child
Disease Had Reached a Fearful
State-His Order Resulted
In Complete Cure.

when I was small I was troubled
with eczema for about three months.
1t was all over my face and covered
nearly all Of my head. 1t reached
such a state that 1t was just a large
scab all over, and the pain and itching
we're terrible. / doctored with an able
physician for some time and was then
advised by him to use the Cuticura
Remedies which l did and was en-.
tirely cured. ] have not been bothered
with It since. l used Cuticura Soap
know exactly how much was used to
complete the cure I can safely say
that Cuticura did a lot for me. Miss
Anabel Wilson, North Branch, Mich,
Oct. 20. 1907"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
The Golfers Limerick.

A well.known D~erbyshire doctor has
Just resigned his membership Of a Mid
land golf club, his letter to the secre.
tary OF the club reading:
A canny old Scot writes to say
That at golf he no more will play:
He thinks nowt OF the game,
So please strike out his a m
And his wife's from the club right away.
The secretary of the club was not to
be outdone, and he sent the doctor the
following reply:
A canny old Scot like you ought
To play golf like a Vardon %untaught;
As Nv now got to rub
Your name from the club
Your subscription amount to 0.
London Daily News.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
Why sloan's Llniment and Veterinary
Remedies Are the Best 10 Use,

Let m tell you why Sloan's Lini.
ment ana Veterinary Remedies are
the safest and most practical on the
market to-day. in the first place, DIR.
Earl s. Sloan is the son OF a veterin.
airy surgeon, and from his earliest in.
fancy he vas associated with horses.
lie bought and sold horses while
yet very young. He practiced as a vet.
Urinary for 20 years and has battled
successfully with every disease to
which that animal is subject.
All his remedies are the result OF
experiments made to save life or re.
lieve suffering while he was p~ractic.
ing his profession.
Any reader, by writing to DR.. Earl
s. Sloan, 615 Albany Street, Boston.
Mass, will receive "Sloan's Treatise
on the Horse" free. This book tells
how to treat horses. cattle, hogs. and
Doultry.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
Out Of Place.

A white marble statue OF an ances.
tor adorns the grounds OF Mrs. Blair's
country estate, and n Of her maids,
a fresh arrival from Cape Breton, re-
Gently asked what that" was there
for.
Mrs. Blair explained and, being
crmed to the teeth with the history
Of this, her most distinguished fore
bear, added something about his
"life.work" and great principles"
Don't you admire the fgureT" she
asked.
mo, men," the girl from Cape
Breton replied. II don't like dead men
standin' up in front of peoples houses.
He'd ought to be In his grave. That's
where he belongs.-Youth's Compan.
ion,
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
HERR GOES ANOTHER ILLUSION.
~"Flddllne Bob" Declares He Has Not
Played for Many Years.

Another cherished Illusion has been
shattered. Senator Taylor Of Tennes-
see. lovingly called throughout the
union "Ffddling Bob" doesn't play the
fiddle after all. He has entered a for.
mai denial. Pretty soon somebody will
be saying that Congressman Rich.
mond Pearson Hobson OF Merrimac
fame never kissed a pretty young
hero w%orshiper. Representative
Hughes Of New Jersey asked Senator
Taylor about his musical accomplish
ments.
Haven't played a fiddle for a dozen
years" said the Tenncsseean That
f1ddling story is all wrong. I haven't
touched a bow for years"
Maybe you play the violin, then?'
ventured Hughes.
"Oh, l eve saw one Of those
darned things" retorted the senator.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
THEN IT LOCKED ABOUT RIGHT.
Coal Dealer Understood When Told
What Load Represented.

John d. Rockefeller, Jr., in one OF
the last addresses that he made to his
Sunday school class before abandon.
ing II, said of carefulness in business:
TOO many business men are care.
full on one side, their own side, only.
Thus a coal dealer whom | used to
know shouted one afternoon to an EN-.
ploye who was driving out of the yard:
"1lold on there. JIM That coal
can't have been weighed. 1t looks a
tri1e large for a ton to me-
Jim shouted back:
""ThIs amt a ton, boss. It's two
tom
"Oh, all right said the dealer. In n
modified tone. Beg your pardon; go
ahead"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
DUTY Towards Others.

Not long ago a kindly disposed lady
endeavored to quiz a small boy re.
gardlng his Sunday school lesson.
Who Is your neighbor?" she asked.
1.-THE fellow who lives next door,
was the ready response.
But what is your duty toward your
neighbour" persisted the lady.
"Oh, to keep an eye on im," replied
the boy cautiously.
Keep an eye on him? What for?''
"Just to see that he doesn't take
what don't belong to him." was the
confident answer.
The lady gave up.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
Fish as Brain Food,

A naughty, disdainful sort Of physl-
cal wreck waltzed up to Capt. Ehlers
the other day and exclaimed:
Sir! | was advised three years ago
by my physician, the celebrated DR..
-, that you sold brain food in the
images of fishes. | have diligently
pursued that diet, and do not find that
my mentality has improved a partl.
Gle! What have you to say about III"
The jolly, dear old fat captain.
shaking the panes out Of his glass cub
byhole. replied: MY friend. fish is
certainly good for the brains II taken
in time; but some folks are too late"
Chicago Record. Herald.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
CATARRh MADE LIFE
A BURDEN TO Me.

MISS ANNIE CATRON, 927 Main
v St., Cincinnati. Ohio, writes:
"As l have found peruna n blessing
for a severe ease of catarrh of the head
and throat which l suffered from for a
number of years, ! am only toop pleased
TO give it my personal endorsement.
"Catarrh, such as / suffered from,
made life a burden to me, my breath
was offensive, stomach bad, and my
head stopped up so that l was usually
troubled with a headache, and although
/ tried many so-called remedies, moth
ing gave me permanent relief. / was
rather discouraged with all medicines
when Peruna was suggested to me.
However, l did buy a bottle, and be-
fore that was finished there was a
marked change in my condition. Much
encouraged | kept on until | was COM
pIefeiy cured in a months time, and i
find that my general health is also ex-
cellent."
People who prefer solid medicines
should try Peruna tablets. Each tablet
represents n average dose of Peruna-
Man-a.lin the Ideal Laxative.
Ask Your Druggist for Free Peruna
Almanac for 1908.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
Laundry work at home would be

Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory II the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, 1t is usually neccs-
sary to use SO much starch that the
beauty and flneness OF the fabric is
hidden behind a paste Of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear.
Ing quality of the goods. This trou-
BILE can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as It can be applied
much more thinly because Of its great.
er strength than other makes.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
And the JUDGE stopped smlIlno.

One day a celebrated advocate was
arguing before a very rude old Scotch
Judge, who pointed with one forefnger
to one of his ears, and with the other
to the opposite one. you see this,
Mr.. X?" 81 do, my lord said the ad-
vocate. well, is just goes in here
and comes out there" and his lordship
smiled with the hilarity Of a Judge
who thinks he has actually said a good
thing. Il don't doubt 1t. my lord" re-
piled the advocate; what is there to
prevent it,"
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09

Bob-Say, ma, were men very
scarce when you married pa, or did
you Just feel sorry for him?
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

by local applications, as they cannot reach the di,
eased portion Of the ear. There IL only one way 20
cure deafness, and that IL by constitutional remedies.
Deafness ia caused by an innaned condition Of the
mucous lining OF the Eustachian Tube. When this
tube IL inhaned you have a rumbllng sound or i'm
perfect hearing, aud when II Is entirely closed, Deaf.
ness is the result, aud unless the Inflammation can be
taken out and this tube restored to its normal cOndi.
ton, hearing will be destroyed forever; nine cases
out Of ten are caused by Catarrh. which ia nothing
but an inhlamed condition OF the mucous surfaces.
We will give one Hundred Dollars for any case OF
Deafness Caused by catarrhl that cannot be cured
BY Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free.
f. j. L N d CO., Toledo, O
Sold by Druggists, 7Sc.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09

With a smooth iron and Defiance
Starch, you a launder your shirt.
waist Just as well at home as the
steam laundry can; 1t will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear and tear of the goods,
and 1t will be a positive pleasure to
use a Starch that does not stick to the
irnp
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09

ton for ton and gun for gun, we
have the best warships in the world"
is what Rear-Admiral Melville says in
reply to the charge that American
b~attleships are defective In construc
ton. And. after all, success in a nava,
battle depends on the man behind the
gun, so what's the use for the Unitet
States to worry?
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
But Not the Same,

Mushley-Indeed, yes, he's very
tender.hearted. | really believe II a
beggar approached him and he had
no money about him he'd actually
take OFF his coat and give 1t to him.
Crabbe-Well. I'm not tender.heart.
ed, but some OF these nervy beggars
make mt feel like taking or my coat
and giving 1t to them-good and
proper.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
Office Bows LITTLE coun.

The Office boy In a downtown Office
has framed up the following schedule
OF the FIRMS office hours. which is dis.
played in a prominent place on the
wall: $40 reserved for book agents
and people with various things to sell;
10.11 for insurance agents; 11.l2 bores
with long stories; 1-2 solicitors for
church and charitable institutions;
2-3 discuss sporting news with callers;
3.5 miscellaneous social visitors. N.
B.-We transact our W business at
night.'-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09

"Chalmont, you don't know your
geography lesson at all tonight" said
Gunson, Sr. When | was your age l
could answer practically every ques.
ton In the book"
well, pa" retorted G%unson, Jr., II
guess you had some intelligent person
to help you with your home work."
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09

fering some months
ago with frequent at.
tacks OF hard pain In
the back, kidneys
and bladder and the
d secretions
were gularly
scanty or proiuse.
Medical treatment
failed to cure him
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09

Mr., Bryan will take the Democratic
nomination If 1t is offered to him.
He will not seek it; but we violate no
confidence in stating that adequate
measures will be taken to prevent the
Democratic party from forgetting to
offer II.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
Warned,

policeman, arrest that man for
swearing in the street
II amt heard him swearin' amy"
But he's going to in a minute. I
am about to inform him that his
daughter has eloped with the chauf.
feur."
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09

Theoretically. the Democratic party
claims tc be opposed to the one-man
power, A, the Denver convention 1t
will show that it is absolutely dom
mated by one man and Is unable to
offer resistance to anything he pro
poses.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09

That an article may be good as well
as cheap, and give entire satisfaction,
is proven by the extraordinary sale of
Defiance Starch. each package con.
talning one-thlrd more Starch than
can be had of any other brand for the
same money.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09

Landlady-Are you SO particular
about having a quiet room because
you sleep in the daytime?
De Toot-No, mann. l practice OIL
the flute several hours a day, and any
other sound jars on my sensitive soul.
-Harper's Weekly.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
Hubby Gets Susplclous.

FF"1py Sctu ouoPTCFVu5s
John, do you love me?"
yes
"Do you adore me?"
Il s'pose."
"Wlll you always love me?"
"Ye-look here, woman. what have
you been and gone ordered sent home
now?'
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
hOTd " UfuRKlstH, foU.
Take Hairs Family Pills for constipation.
Travellers Picture Books.

Picture books for the benefit Of trav.
elers are kept in the Paris police sta
tons. II frequently occur that for.
eigners lose things which they are
unable to describe, because Of their
unfamiliarity with the French Ian
guage. The picture books contain rep
reservations of various articles, and
the inquirer has only to turn the
leaves and point out the illustrations
which resemble the property he lost.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09

Mr.. Bryan says he is willing to for.
give the gold Democrats. AS they
we're on the winning side, and are still
sure they we're right, 1t would be more
to the point II Mr.. Bryan would ask
their forgiveness.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09

TAT last" says Mr.. Wood, Il began
using Doan's Kidney Pills, and before
one box was gone, ! went through four
days Of intense pain, finally passing a
stone, one.half by fve.sixteenths of an
inch in diameter. haven't had a sign
Of kidney trouble since"
Sold by all dealers, so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Morgan County republican. (Versailles, Mo.) 1906-1914, 1908-01-09
For an Appetite.

"You must have a good appetite"
remarked the thin man, e%nyiously.
What do you take for it?'
"In all my experience" replied the
plump one. 81 have found nothing
more suitable than food"