Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-11-01

ness men Who don't know what s going
on on the stage. and who don't care "A
hang. for they're talking business. 1t
would actually seem IL they haven't
come to the theater with any idea on
earth of seeing the play. but have merely
wandered aimlessly into the theater in
order to have good business talk for
themselves away from the rattle ard
clangor of the wagons and street cars
and things. tAnd it's just your Internal
luck. you reflect bitterly. that they've got
to get seats right behind ycurso
Well. the play swings along. and You're
trying with all your might to get the hang
of it. but it's no use. The pair of bus'-
ness men right behind you have got sleWs
and slathers of little deals To fan over
They don't talk business right out loud.
but they sort of whisper and hiss and
splutter and buzz and hum away untl
you feel like jumping out of your skin
and then back into il again. They're
big solid men. as you've observed upon
taking your seat and you don't feel like
turning around and saying Hush. 10
substantial-looking persons like that. and
all you can do is to sit In misery and
take your bolus.
men saying to the other. just when Ii be-
gins to look as ii the millionaires wife
In the play Is going To pass The miiiioh-
aire up for the poor but soulful-iookihS
young sculptor. well. l asked that SON
OLA gun for the customary thirty-day
discount and what dye spose he said 10
me, Ha ha. ha, 1t would make chim-
panzee laugh, Said that he'd ike TO give
me the discount, but that he was carry
ing a lot of long time accounts and a GOOD
deal of paper that he didn't exactly IKE
the looks of in times like these and then
he offered to give me two-per-cent pei,
ter discount the next line or goods I
bought from him, Can you beat that.
Ha. ha. ha, The gall Of the duck AZ
If I'd come trudging back to his place ara
buy another bill of goods from him aftef
he'd turned me down once on the orui-
nary discount! Wouldn't that get your
goat. hey?" -
"It sure would" enjoyahly replies the
other business man, but its only VIVA,
I'd expect from that chap why say:
remember once that he sent big snip
ment of stuff to man out III hdHsas'
and what did he
When You're in Bad.
And all like that. Pretty dismal situa-
ton for YOU this. You're I'm bad. as
the saying is. when you get in front or
back or alongside OF a couple of business
conversaticnalists at the theater VINO
don't know whether they're looking at
society dray-ma or watching the motion
pictures OF the last Gans-Nelson hgnt-
.fn bad. because there isn't mortal
thing on earth that you can do about IT,
and you know it. and that makes 1t all
the more CALLING.
Then, too, there's the quarrelsome cou-
pie. man and wife, at the theater. Ever
have the uncanny luck to get ticketed
close to them? They enter the theater In
a scrapful humor and they go away In
just the same mood. They keep up
constant undertone of pickering virtually
from start to finish There are times when
you think they've got it patched up. or
that at any rate, they've declared truce
until they get home. or something. bur
nearly always your wistful hope that this
theory is correct sooner or later is shat
tered.
Very WELL" you hear the male Of the
quarrelsome couple saying to her between
cinched teeth, you can have the hat.
but If ever again you buy hat al that
price without letting me know anything
about it, when you know perfectly well
that I'm right down TO cases trying TO
get by and to keep up appearances, why.
ill
Il don't care what you do. there.
nowr' she gets right back at him. i
don't intend to go around looking like a
perfect trump and doWdy. and you ought
to have more pride than TO expect me TO,
for. of course it all comes back upon you,
because people say, they're bound TO
say, when they me looking like
comic valentine. that you're SO mean with
money that you won't permit me to
And so on. right through 10 the end or
the play. BY final curtain-fall everybody
in the neighborhood of the quarrelSome
couple at the theater knows more about
their business than they know about the
story of the play. but the quarrelsome
couple go away, still battling. with never
a thought nor a care that they've effectu-
ally destroyed the pleasure of codes of
persons who had every right in the world
to look for an evenings enjoyment at the
play after having disbursed their good
money for seats with coupons attached.
Yes, and then there's the
However. it's a nuisance TO talk or
write about nuisances, and here We've
had a little fieeting view ut plenty of them
for the present. Not but that there are
not plenty OF cthers-no. any number Of
other typical nuisances of the theater!
But. no matter how many others there
may be. let us now highly resolve that,
come what may. We ourselves never, no.
never, will permit ourselves to evolve into
affiictorS of theater audiences.