Iowa state bystander. [volume] (Des Moines, Iowa) 1894-1916, 1908-09-04
THE RING AND
THE OSTRICHES
Bv FRANK RUSSELL
Copyright. BY shorn,ory Pub. Coz


Billy Nutzel and me wux trappin
and huntin' down here together in Pat
agonia for bout three year. an had goi
. thunderin' big lot of furs an skins
Billy ser to me one day, ~ how 1t 'ud
be best to take EN- to Frisco and sell
'em there, u We couldn't BIT half the
with Of EN- here. an. besides. W
oughter have q bit Of = spell. anyway
10 says bueno, wen 90. We hit the
trail fur PuntA Arenas. where nearly
IL our furs wus. and whore we'd have
D ketch boat.
There wusn't nuthin' but these car
60 tramp steamers In the straits then
and the Teller In the Office there SEE
as how no boat won't come for awhile
30 We put up at the Gaucho hotel
run by Australia, to wait till she
happened along.
Wed been In this shack . couple
o. days, an one evenin' wus down
In the barroom, havin' quiet time BY
myself, when all Of a sudden l hears
Billy, yelling fer me to come there
quick. Well, grabs my old a
thinkin' he's in seri's trouble. and tears
back to his room.
"sit down." sez he, Il got . baily
good scheme"
I slowed away the gun. Disguised
and gave i'm some advice bout fright
enip' people with heart trouble. which
he took on motifs uf.
Look here" he sez. we're goin' tel
make our forchin this trip, shore
Well rig up couple O. inkybaters
and MI 'em with awstrich eggs. an
bout the time We git to Frisco
they'll be nearly ready to hatch, an
we can sell 'em alive to these rich
sports, and mebbe some to q circus OF
menagery. They'll fetch fat price,
an we'd oughter git pile O coin out
Nv EN-"
Billy was proper loco bout this
scheme, an KEEP tellin' 1t over an
over again, an lafi1n' an whackin' the
table with his fist, and plannin' how
we'd spend the money, til blamed II
he didn't git me reused up, too, an 10
l said we'dd give 1t q trial, bein's II
I'D cost nothin'. ....
I'd never seen a inkybater on dooty
before, but Bill he'd been on farm
up in Santa Fe. where there wus lots
NV EN-, and then he's mighty handy
chap with the tools. is Bill, SO betwixt
us both we rugged up . couple of big
boxes. and got some sperit lamps OIL
a schooner, an put some rings in the
boxes SOS to hang EN- up in the boat
with ropes. to keep 'em from rockin'
In bad weather.
That took a couple o days, an then
We started out in camp with the bosses
an some cargo baskets with wool in
en-. to fetch the eggs. You know
how plentiful Is awstrich eggs now
In December? Well, they's lot more
plentiful than days, an we got the
bosses loaded in no time.
We got the eggs to Punta Arenas,
and filled up the inkybaters. Betwixt
'em they held moren 400. All over
the outside of the boxes we painted
In Spanish and English: Handle
with care" an "Delikit contents"
Purity soon the old boat hove in
sight-Englishman she wuz, bout 5000
tons.
When everything wuz aboard, Bill
went round to the first mate. tell1n'
him bout our inkybaters, an paid i'm
ten dollars to let US put EN- up for'ard
In an empty storeroom. So we drove
some big staples In the ceilin' an
swung up the boxes.
EVERYTHING wus goin' so easy that me
an Bill wuz gettin' more confident in
the scheme ev'ry mint.
A woman and two kids was the only
other passengers on board, cause in
them days mighty few people went up
the west coast. o.a....
We figgered the eggs 'ud hatch out
bout week after we got to Frisco,
an l reckon they would have, too; but
when we got up here to Callao an
loaded a bit Of cargo. feller with a
bunch of soldiers, come aboard, an
said the plague had broken out an we
gotter stay in quarantine.
Well, the plague gotNwuss an wuss,
an we had to lie there for three weeks
befo' we got away, an the cap'in uf
the boat wasn't half as mad as me an
Bill, cause we foresees that the aw.
STITCHES are going ter hatch on board
an cause trouble. r.-
After we left Callao we couldn't git
inter any other port til after bunch
of ufiishuls had nosed round fur .
couple of days, an finally the captn
seq that we'd be two months behind
time when we got to Frisco.
One mornin' Jest befo' we got to
Panama, Bill had a look at the eggs,
an comes back madder'n a fresh.
sheared ram. He says: THE aw-
STITCHES are comm"
We hired the carpenter to make crates
for 'em, an 1t KEEP i'm working over
time to keep up with the demand. Bill
wouldn't let me do nothin', said he's
q proper burd financeer, an wus goin'
ter !;aep herd on 'em hisself. -.
The cap'in wus bit sore bout this
sudden cargo O live stock, but Bill
civ i'm q roll Of fox skins an q
euanaco capa, an some furs to the
other officers, so they's Bill's friends
then. an the first mate told the cook
to save all the leavin's an put ''em
in a basket outside the galley, where
Bill could get it handy to feed the
chicks. .-..
Out O. the whole lot O. eggs nearly
400 Matched; but few died, SO we
had bout 800 left. An you oughter
seen EN- grow!
The capin promised Bill he could
turn 'em out on deck ever Satday fur
a run-a-roun', an when he'd open the