davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
A Free AGENT.

Although the old gentleman with
red face and choleric temper had
opened the car window five times
with much vigor, he had found it
closed every time he walked from
his doze.
He felt perfectly sure that the
person to blame was the man be-
hind him, who gave vent to stifled
groan each time the window was
opened. AT last the cholcric gentle
man turned in his seat.
"Sir," he said Indignantly, "you
are evidently one of those persons
who cannot bear fresh air, but may
l ask you who controls this window,
the person beside it or the one be-
hind it?"
eff you could stay awake few
minutes" responded his neighbor,
you'd soon discover that nobody
can control that window, sir-not
even the brakeman or the conduct
or @lNxchaneNs-x ---...---------.---.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Mirrors For lnvaIids.

eff you have a sick friend who
can't get out of bed for awhile and
want to provide entertainment for
her." said the woman of experience,
"give her hand mirror. Nothing
else is quite so fascinating. Often
the bed may be placed with the head
toward the window so the patient
gets no glimpse out of it, but if she
has a mirror it is all reflected for
her. She can catch a sunbeam in
the edge of it or count the clouds
as they float past. She can inspect
all the furniture in the room, and if
she is alone in hospital she can
find company in looking at herself.
It is the most entertaining and
harmless thing you could possibly
give her."-New York Press.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Her Sacrifice.

A teacher in certain Sunday
school had been impressing on her
girls the need of making some per-
sonal sacrifice during Lent. Ac-
cordingly on the first Sunday of
that penitcntial season, which hap
pened to be warm day, she took
occasion to ask each of the class in
turn what she had given up for the
sake of her religion. Everything
went well, and the answers were
proving highly satisfactory, until
she came to the youngest member.
"Well, Mary" inquired the teacher,
"what have you left off for Lent ?"
"Please, ma'am," stammered the
child, somewhat confused, Give
left off my lcggings."
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
School For Walters.

1t is often matter of wonder
why foreign walters are preferred
to English ones even in English ho-
tells. The reason is very simple
one. The foreigner is far better
waiter. His aim is not always to
remain a waiter, but to rise in the
hotel business to higher position.
In Lausanne there is school for
walters. They are taught there for
eign languages and not only to wait
well, but everything else connected
with the working of hotel.-Lon-
don Truth,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
inc First eull.


Charon, the boatman OF the Sty&.
was thought by many to be of Irish
blood. for Invariably ms lie was casting
OFF from tile hither shore he would
call out to his cargo of souls:
"Now, then. look alive!"
This was doubtless as near an APP
nfoach to an Irish bull MS the then
state of civilization permitted,-Puck
The Malay Fishers.
Crew of Malay fishing vessels in
the Indian ocean are thus described
by traveller: "Somo of the Malays
have not bad features, but others
again are awful looking villains.
Every one has his crecse, or sort
of chopper, at his side, and with
bright red lips and black teeth,
caused by chewing the betel nut,
looks anything but inviting or fas-
cinating. The crew live principally
on rice ind the fish they catch.
They carry lot of cocoanuts and
cocoanut oil, and apparently for
luxury sort of sweetmeat made OF
coarse treacle and rice mixed to-
gether and firmly pressed into bam-
boos."
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
TOMS Promise.

"Tom, you ask me to be your
wife-to give you my heart, my all.
Think well of what you say and tell
me if you will grant me one small
favor"
"Anything you ask, my love"
"Then promise me that you viii
never smoke another cigar as long
as you live"
81 promise, dear"
"And doesn't it cost you PangT
'Not a pang. I'd rather smoke q
1 pc any day. "-London Taller.
DeWitt's OarboIizsd Witch Ha.
eel Splye penetrates the pores
thoroughly cleanses and is heal
ing and soothing. Good for piles
Sold by all druggists,
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
To Err Is Human.

Robert Browning once found him
self at dinner at a great English
house sitting next to lady who
was connected with the highest arts
tocracy. She was very graciously
inclined and did her utmost to make
conversation.
care you not a poet2" she finally
asked.
"Well," said Browning, people
are sometimes kind enough to say
that l am"
"Oh, please don't mind my hav-
ing mentioned it," the duchess has
tened to say, with the kindest of
miles. "You know Byron and Ten
nyson and Others were poets. =
Youths Companion.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
HAD A GOOD BREAKFAsI
The Old Soldier Told the Affabie
stranger How He Got II.

The Old Soldier Told the Affabie
stranger How He Got IL.
One day late in the eighteenth
century the great Emperor Joseph
Of Austria was out driving when a
heavy shower came up. AS the
first big drops fell an old soldier of
the Inyalides came hobbling to the
door of the carriage and asked to
be taken in, because, he said, his
uniform was new and he did not
want to get it wet. The emperor,
who was taking the air as a private
gentleman, with no morks of his
rank about him, told the old man
to get in and at once fell to talking
with him very affably. Soon the
soldier mentioned that he had had
a capital breakfast that morning.
"What was it?" asked the en-
peror.
Guess"
The emperor ran over all the
dishes he could think of that we're
best liked among the common SOL
diers, but to everything he men
toned the invalid answered, chuc-
king, "Better than that" AT last,
the emperor giving up the puzzle,
lie slapped his knee and declared he
had taken pheasant out of the i'm
perial preserves. The emperor
laughed alphabetically, and the
subject was changed. When they
had driven some time the poor
poacher, after recounting some of
his experiences in battle, remarked ::
"You look like military man
yourself. Are you in the army?"
The emperor said he was and was
then asked what position he held.
Guess" said the emperor.
The soldier guessed and guessed
again. He finally guessed every
thing from sergeant up to marshal,
and to every guess he got the an
swer, "Better than that"
Naturally after awhile the truth
began to dawn on him, and the
poor man was frightened nearly out
of his wits, but the emperor only
laughed, told him to learn discretion
in making condolences to strangers,
asked him whore he wanted to go,
set him down at the right door and
never took any further notice of his
loss of pheasant than to make it a
favorite story at court.-Westmin-
ster Gazette.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
An Ego For Business.

The boy of the family, the smart
little son of an editor, had just
passed his ninth birthday and de-
lighted in stirring things up when
ever he found chance. On his
way to school one day he popped
into hardware store.
"Say, mlster," he called out, edo
you keep knives?"
ooh, yes" replied the storekeep-
er; "we've kept them for years"
"Well," returned the boy, starting
for the door, 'just advertise, and
then you won't keep them SO long"
Ladies' Home Journal.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Passed discrimination Success.
fully.

James Donahue. New Britain.
Conn, writes: II tried several kid.
ney remedies, and was treated by
our beat physicians for diabetes.
btit did not improve until / took
Foley's Kidney Cure. After the
second rottle | showed improve.
ment, and five bottles cured me
completely. l have since passed a
rigid animation for life insur
snoe" Foley's Kidney Cure cures
back ache and all forms of kidney
and bladder trouble. For sale by
all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Then BUYS a MeaI.

Sweet Young Thing-I suppose,
Mr.. Oldhead, that you are some
times afflicted with writer's cramp ?
Oldhead (novelist)-Oh, yes, my
dear; very often.
s. Y. T.-What do you do for it,
Mr.. Oldhcad?
Oldhcad-Oh, j put up my watch
or negotiate small loan from some
of the boys. - Kansas City Indc-
pendent.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Tho SAFE Way.

A coal miner in the east of Scot
land was visited by friend, and
among the places of interest shown
was, of course, the pit mouth. See
ing the cage lowered into the pit
with the stout steel rope, the min
IRIS friend exclaimed:
"8ly wordI ] shouldn't like to go
down there on that rope"
"Why," exclaimed the miner,
cav wadna like to gang doom there
withoot itp'-Dundee Advertiser.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01

Send Your Cow, Steer. and Horse
Hides, CALF, Dog. and other skins,
to the Crosby tristan Fur Compa,
ny. Roohester. N. Y. to be Don
verified into Fur Goats, Robes.
Gloves, Mittens or Rugs, They
are the largest Fur tanners oflarRc
wild and domestic animal skins in
the world. Send for illustrated oat.
alogue. dec. IL DIV
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Absolute Surrender.

"A little child was one day playing
with very valuable vase when he
put his hand into it and could not
withdraw it. His father, too, tried
his best to get it out, but all in vain
They were talking of breaking the
vase when the father said:
"Now, my son, make one more
try. Open your hand and hold your
fingers out straight, as you see me
doing, and then pull"
To their establishment, the little
fellow said, ooh, no, papa, couldn't
put out my fingers like that, for if
I did would drop my penny" How
many of us are ike him held pris-
oners by our own desiresl
Modification.
"or courHe. doctor. German measlet
are seldom serious7"
al never met but one fatal case"
"Fatalp
eyes. 1t was a Frenchman, and
when he discovered 1t was German
measles that he had modification set
in
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
NOTICE to our Customers.

We are p eased to announce that
Foloy's Honey aud Tar for ooughs,
ooids md lung troubles is not af
footed by the Natural Pure Food
and Drug law as it oontains no OPT
ates or other harmful drugs, aud
Re recommend it 10 a SAFE emed,
for ohiIdr4n and adults For sale
by all drugeis's.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Ho was 4 Freonohinan, dining Win

He was Frenchman, dining With
an English family. He was anxious
to make a good impression, but he'd
little "of the English" So he beam
ed politely on his neighbors, and
even the attendant servants basksd
in the general radiance.
seYon will have some more?" en-
treated his hostess.
"Please, non," he answered.
"Let me press you" the lady re-
turned, making allowance for the
shyness of a stranger in a strange
land.
"Non, madame" he insisted COR
daily. 81 have already made 20
beast of myself. london Express.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01

The postmaster of Gasoonode,
Mo-, Daniel A Bugh, says of De-
Wits Kidney and Bladder Pills,
IL am doing so we'll, and improv-
ing SO fast in health. that 1 cannot
say too much for your Kidney &
Bidder Pills. / feel like new
man" DeWitt's Kidney and Blad-
der Pills are sold by all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01

There is nothing better for atom.
aoh troubles than KODOL, wbioh
contains the same jnioes found in
. healthy stomech Kodol is fer
ed On guaranteed plan for tho re-
lief of heart burn, f4tuler ce. sour
stomaohe. belching of gas. nausea,
and all stomach troubles. So at
times when you don't feel just
right. when you are drowsy after
meals. and your head aohes or when
you have no ambition, and you are
croes and irritable. take little Ko-
dol. 1t digests what you eat. 1t
will make you healthy. Sold by
all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Public sLeaker Interrupted.

Public speakers are frequently
interrupted by people coughing.
This would not happen if Foley's
Honey and Tar were taken, as il
cures ooughs and colds and pre-
vents pneumonia and oonsumpt
ion. The genuine contains no OPT
ates and is in a yellow package.
For sale by all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
CUR
lnIxes SgIduoys ans BleSder HinhE
FOR SALE Ar A BARGAIN.

Planning Min. and Box Factory. To-
Ch Cha n, VI. Va We'll esnippedI
with up-to- date machinery mill has
10, 600 feet surf ce ON first floor and
4, 600 feet on seco d flc'r. Shed room
snfflcient to hold 100, 200 Feet lumber
also good yard 70 nm; standard RAJ
road track running inside mill
Abundant steam power; allmacl inery
In first class " orking order and can be
seen running. part cash, balance
easy payments. good reasons for SELL
ing, Call on or address.
y. U. GRAHAM,
307 Summers ST., Charleston, w. Va.
apr ~
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Babies an d children need promp'

Babies and children need promp'
attention when suffering from
coughs and oolds. The hest rene
dy for mothers to use is Kennedy
Laxative Cough Syrup It taste,
nearly as good as maple sugar. T.
contains no opiates. aud it is laxa
tive and drives the Gold out ofthe
system by gently moving the bow
els. Sold by alldruggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
PanrI<a Ia the ThIno.

benevolent Guest-I hope. my dear
Mrs. Flathrane. that you never allow
the sauce OF your hospitable meats to
be seasoned with acerblty.
Puzzled but Plucky Mrs. F-Dear
me, no, sir! We always use paprika,
American.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
nrotherhood of ne 500.

DR.. Nansen is fond OF sailors. He
says that there is brotherhood of the
sea which stamps sailors and singles
them out from all other callings. He
has found more thoughtful earnestness
among sailors and better spirit than
among members of any other PROBES.
sion. Sailors. he believes, bear al
their hardships and sunerings with
calmness and fortitude.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
AcetvIenie ID RaIse shIPe.

Sunken chips may now be relocated
by means of acetyIene gas. An expert
ment was tried successfully on ten
ton boat in the River Seine. The boat
was raised by means of small bal
looms inflated below the water with
acetyIene gas generated from the solid
carbide OF calcium. The inventor, "a.
Ducasse, processes to foresee the APP
plication OF the invention to chips to
prevent their laundering In collisions
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
nnnger 1n Asklng ADVICE.

When you have cough or cold
do not ask some one what lie good
for it, as there is danger in taking
some unknown preparation. Fol.
ey's Honey and Tar cures coughs.
colds, and prevents pneumonia
The genuine is in yellow pack
age. Refuse substitutes. Forsale
by all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
The Grand Old Reliable
Morning Newspaper.

"The Pittsburgh Post" has been
steadily progressive in all it's aotiv
tiles, until new it is esteemed in
the community at its true worth.
Its news, it's editorials, ite illuettA
tions, it's advertisements and it's
circulation all bespeak its steady
advance along legitimate newspa-
per lines, until now it stands in the
very front of American newspapers
reooguiz I'd all over the country as
a clean, broad and, honorable newa-
puper, with the reputation of never
Intentionally doing any man or in
stitution wrong. strnding alweye
for whatever is for the interest OF
State and Nation, fearlessly speak
ing when occasion demands, ooun.
selling with its utmost wiedom, and
giving it's loyal support to worthy
men and movements,
The circulation of The Morning
Poet" is ext oily what a newspaper
of this kind should have. being
among solid, subst4ntial, Iaw-abid.
ing oitizons, of all classes politics
and oreeds, people of intelligence
who demand an honest, accurate,
daily record of the real news of the
world, but who would be insulted
ACCOUNTS of scandals aud crime in
season and out.
1.-THE Morning Post" has the
greatest news service ever possess.
ed by any single Newspaper. In
addition to the great Associated
Press, it has the trans. continental
leased wire of the New York
"Amerioa," with lite "a hour steady
supply of news, and the II hour
service of the New York Sun"
recognized as Que of the greatest
independent news service in the
world. Speoi.l correspondents of
1.-THE Morning Poet" in all cities
Large and small, bureaus in New
York and Washington, large
corps of trained editors aud repor
tore, are working day and night to
make THE Post" an unriyaled
newspaper, for it is in reality three
in one.
Ask your newsdealer for THE
Pitteburg Post" and don't eooep'
any other paper.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
she Had a Reason.

The Rev. J.-Tut, tutl How dare
you come before me and ask me to
marry you when he is in that dis
graceful condition?
Would Be Bride-Weel, sur, pleaz,
sur, he'll no come when he's sober.
Illustrated Bits.
Tho Modern Way.
Governess (who has told her
small pupil the story of "The Fox
and the Grapes")-Now isn't that
a clever story, Ethel?
Ethel-Clever? Not bit of it'll
That fox was nothing but goose.
He pretended that the grapes were
sour. What he should have said
was: ooh, what beautiful grapes
so tempting and so sweet! But
my doctor has told me never to eat
sweet things, SO l must refrain."-
Taller.
"Blakes1ey's the most pers1srvnl
optimist ever knew. He slipped
and fell in mud puddle yesterday,
and you never saw such sight as
he was when he got up"
"What did he say?"
He congratulated himself on the
fact that it was so nice and soft
where he had struck and expressed
the opinion that If it had been hard
he might have broken bone or
two"
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01

You can't be we'll if you have .
weak, unhealthy, tired out som
ache. Neither oan you feel good if
by some little irregularity in eat
ing you have caused the stomach
to get out of order. These little
stomach troubles are signs of indi
gestion, which may and very often
does turn into very bad case of
dyspep sia. Don't allow this to go
ON a single day without doing
something to overcome it. Take
some good reliable and safe diges.
.tant like Kodol, For Dyspepsia.
Kodol is the best remedy known
today for heart burn, belohing and
a / troubles arising from disorded
digestion. 1t is pleasant to take
aud affords relief promptly. Sold
bE all druggists
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
GOOD Mannora Of the Mind.

A man Is known by the company his
mind keeps. To live continually with
noble books, with "high erected
thoughts seated in the heart of cour
tesy," teaches the soul good manners
Il. B. Aldrich.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
FRIEND 10 FRIEND.

The personal accommodations of peo
pie who have been cured of coughs and
colds by chamberlain's Cough Remedy
have done more than all else to make II .
staple article of trade and commerce ove'
a large part of the civilized world.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Llaht From stars ana Noon.

In Zululand. when the moon Is at
the full, objects are distinctly visible
at as great a distance as seven miles:
while even by starlight one can see to
read print with ease.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01

Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup, the
new Laxative. stimulates. but does
not irritate. It is the best Laxa
tive. Guaranteed or your money
baok. For sale by all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Renarkahla RAILWAY.

The wocheimer railway. from ASS
ting to Trieste. passes through por-
ton of the Alps and has a tunnels
and 1913 brid ges. One of the bridges
has the largest stone arch in the
world. It's span Is over 27O feet.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
Easy to Be Good.

1t ia easy. perhaps, for a poor man
to be happy. but 1t is great easier for
him merely to be sood.-Baltimore
Sun.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
atilI wonderina.

Worn out by long series of APP
palling French exercises, wherein
the plumbers were as the sands of
the sea, hapless high school mis-
tress declared her intention of writ
ing to Florence's mother.
Florence looked her teacher in
the face. "Ma will be awfully an
gry," quoth she.
81 am afraid she will, but it is my
duty to write to her, Florence"
al don't know" said Florence
doubtfully. "You see, mother al
ways does my French for me-"
The teacher is wondering wheth-
er she will write.-London Express.
We have secured the agency for
Orino Laxative Fruit Syrup. the
new Laxative that makes the liver
lively, purifies the breath, cures
headache and regulates the diges
tive organs Cures chronic oonsti.
patton. Ask US about it For sale
by all druggists.
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01

Millions of bottles of Foley q
Honey .aud Tar have been sold
without any person ever having ex-
perienoed any other than bepefioi.
al results from it's uee for coughs,
ooulds and lung trouble. This is
because the genuine Foley's Hon
ey and Tar in the yellow package
contains no opiates or other harm
full drugs. Guard your health by
refusing any but the genuine For
sale by all druggists
The weekly register. [volume] (Point Pleasant, Va. [W. Va.]) 1862-1909, 1908-01-01
MornLna ENerelae.

"A good long stretch immediatei,
upon waking an the morning lie ex
cellent exercise with which to begin
the day.