davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

IFrom the Chicago News.1
Leap year query-Has she asked you
yet?
An unwelcome guest is one Of the best
things going.
A short life and merry one pleases
the undertaken.
It's a good thing to have a reputation
that isn't bad.
The older the pessimist gets the less
faith he has in human nature.
A steady income is often responsible
for a young mans wabbly gait.
Not one man in 10000 ever gets a
chance to look gift horse in the
mouth.
Few men appreciate how much a wo-
man appreciates masculine apprecia-
ton.
Too many girls regard marriage In
the light Of a lark instead Of q leap In
the dark.
Most people know what they want
but what they don't know is what to do
in order to obtain 1t.
Do you know any public officials who
are devoting their entire time to the
welfare OF the pub1icf
He is a mean man who will deliber-
ately talk in his sleep for the purpose
of keeping his tired wife awake.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24
.AYHAWKER JOTy

Salina had some more hard luck
last week. Its one street car was put
out Of commission by an accident.
The chief of police at Fort Scott
has been told that the public dances
there were not in accordance with
Hoyle, and he has ordered the dance
halls closed.
Clarence and Marion Edison are
the first men to bring a twenty horse
power automobile to Liberal and they
are the particular envy of all the
boys.
Osborne will still be able to resist
attacks from its enemies. Company
G. First Regiment, K. N. G.. success
fully passed inspection the other
night.
Cheer up. Don't worry about the
grounding. Signs don't always come
true. Look what the legislature
might have done and didn't says the
Larned Chronoscope.
A bunch Of Coffeyville school boys
ought to be sent to Jail for thirty
days on bread and water. Their latest
prank was tearing up 100 seats in the
high school building.
over the fact that many ladies gar
ters are being found on the streets
and in public places. Perhaps this is
new scheme of the girls in the town
TO attract attention.
Mike Sutton, Dodge City's
pioneer lawyer, has retired from the
firm of Sutton, Scales & Watkins, and
will limit his practice to looking af-
ter the interests OF the Santa Fe rail-
road in his section.
A printer in the Parsons Sun Office
who pied a whole page just at the
hour of going to press the other at
ternoon escaped lynching by striking
out on steady hope toward the Okla
homa border. making thtrty-four
knots an hour.
Women usually get a hazy notion
of politics and law. remarks the
Sabetha Herald. Hilman and wife
theatrical company. They have a
child. why doesn't Hilnan let his
child ACT on the stage2" asked one
woman of another at the perform
ances. "Why, don't you known" said
her companion. at is against the
pure food law
One of the state university science
professors, to illustrate a point, told
the following story: A young man
and a young lady were engaged, the
day had been SET and everything ar
ranged. But the young man thought
he had not acted square with the
young lady; that there was something
he had withheld from her, that he
should tell her. So he went to her
and told her that there was only one
thing he had kept from her that he
should have told her OF course, she
became very much interested, and
wanted to know what it was. He
said: "Well, I am somnambulist."
The young lady hesitated a moment,
and then said: "Oh, that's all right,
am Presbyterian"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24
QUAKER REFLECTIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Reoord.1
Even the hot-headed fellow may get
cold feet.
The musical director can't say that
he never has time.
A lamp will smoke, but a candle pre-
fers to be snuffed.
Even the richest millionaire may be
a poor apology for q man.
The undertaken naturally prefers peo-
pie who are dead in earnest.
The ceiling decorator is not done sin,-
ply because his work is all over.
The turning point Of many a vounp
fellows life is when a girl turns him
down.
If detective is on your trail vo,,
can go down to the ferry and give him
the slip.
Wigg-"Taint heart ne'er won fair
lady" Wagg-"That doesn't intsrest
me. I prefer brunettes."
No, Maude, dear: we have never hears
that the tight rope walker could onlu
perform when he is tight.
B1obbs-"What does your melancholy
friend do for a living? Slobbs-"fTe,ss
window dresser" Blobbs-"Is tha3
why he has such a paned expression 7.s
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

chair at the table and dropped her heat
on her arms and sobbed in a Mysteries
way. I babe the cursing robbers get VI
and limp away to be hanged elsewhere
and when had seen to their going
stood beside the fearful maid, and said:
Dear one, doth 1t not strike thee thai
We have been overlong awooing?"
Dear me, but have never given IL
a thought" she replied. as she raised
her head and dried her tears all In .
moment
wilt marry me a month hence.
sweetheart
tbs too ridiculousi"
Or wilt thou walt here until ride
back for a coach and thy maid and wish
thee pleasant journey?'
Jeffry," she said after q startled look
around. thou art determined and
persistent young man.
within a month. dear one? Speak
quickly, for the rain hath ceased and
the moon Is showing her face, and II
am to set out for Featherstone-"
Il shall set out, too," she said, as she
let me take her hand. Wherever thou
goeth shall follow and be with thee"
And the capricious Lady Betty was
won at last--(Copyrighted. 1903, by Jes-
sic Morgan.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

Mr.. Hardapple (reading)-By heck. Man.
dy. it says here that in Russia they actu-
Mrs. Hardapple-That' nothing, Hiram.
Don't we shoe the hens?-Chicago News.
Young Wife-Am I very dear to you.
Young Husband-Yes. lovey; just look
at these receipted bills.-Baltimore Amer
lean.
Customer-Who is that lady your clerks
Bookseller-That? Oh. that's Mrs. Lay
Puck issei sue IS o''e "a '0' 0ss' s'A '.
neano11Ana Others g get bsa husband
EFF Satan wuz once in heaven. how
come he didn't stay darT
il!'-Atlanta Constitution.
He says he's welded to high tariff
"I take it he didn't marry it to reform
it.'-Louisville Courier-Journal
.stella-so your father gave you your
Bella-Yes. he said he would buy me
either count or an auto.-New York Sun.
go ysgu think horseracins erimss'
But you owned string Of horses last
season.
| That's just It. / was referring to the
| way in which my horses d."-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
"Ahr, exclaimed Miss Patience Come.
| whom Mr.. Staylate had been boring with
| silly conundrums, that reminds me OF the
best thing goin -
~. - ..o.,o, 80
| Philadelphia Press.
| Muriel-when you esloped with George.
| did you leave a note telling your people
where you had gone?
Gabrielle-Why of course. If hadn't,
how would papa have known where to
send us any money ?-Ilustrated Bits.
| Bronson-John q. whittier, the Quaker
poet, would have been wittier IL he had
| been an Englishman.
| woodson-How do you make that out?
| Bronson-Because he would have drop
ped his "h'-Harper's Weekly.
Now that I have consented to become
your husband" said the man to the Leap
Year girl, ST want you to remember one
| thing
Year, dear" replied the happy maiden.
| THAT don't want to hear any talk of
| your marrying me just for the purpose OF
reformation Detroit Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24
THE BACHELOR PROBLEM.

General Booth, the venerable leader
of the Salvation Army, appalled,. as he
says, by the spread Of race suicide.
notably in America and France, would
resort to what he evidently supposes
is an extreme measure. He would not
tax bachelors, but by means Of legal
enactment he would compel them to
marry, and until the supply was ex-
hausted he would have them apply to
mis- organization for their wives.
But 1t may be feared that General
Booth does not know his bachelor The
bachelor, at least the confirmed bach
elor, is a stubborn creature, possessed
of divers more or less ridiculous Whiris
and fancies. Among other things he
assumes that he can marry whenever
he is disposed and whomever he may
choose. He easily persuades himself
that he is well nigh irrestible and
that almost every woman whom he
meets regrets that he is not married
and married to her. It is this inner
consciousness Of his obvious available
ity, this vanity concerning his many at
tractive qualities, that buoys him up
and reconciles him to a lonely and self
ish existence that ought to be intoler-
able to him.
Your single man. who Is getting on in
years may be, and frequently is, an in
siderable bore, but he doesn't so much
as suspect it. As consequence, his
self-esteem operates as a bar to matri-
| mony in general. He is constantly get
ting In the way of younger and worth
Ter suitors, whose attentions are SER
ious, by enabling the woman In the case
or courtship to play him as foil and
| iatter him with insincere attentions.
The old bachelor in the parlor or on the
plaza on every conceivable occasion is
| bad enough, surely. He has broken up
many a match. And when he is not
present he Is expected at any moment,
which IS infinitely worse. But forced
to take a partner for life and settle
down against his will, he would be i'm
possible. Coerced by the stern mandate
Of the law, he would not make an en-
durable husband or father.
What is wanted to whip bachelors
into line is statute forbidding them
to marry after a certain age. Then, be-
ing obstinate and perverse, they would
/ all break the law and marry secretly
and the problem that is vexing General
Booth would be solved for keeps.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24
RoosEvEnrs EurURE.

Many Of the leading thinkers OF the
country. and this class is largely made
up of those who have no business to
attend to except that OF other people.
are trying to solve the future Of Presf-
dent Roosevelt and what Ia TO become
of him after he leaves the White
House. Some there are who cling to
the idea that he will have at least four
years more at the capital. but other
than those there are many In different
sections of the country who are ready
and willing to give him advice as to
what he should and should not do. OF
course there L. no danger Of President
Roosevelt being lost In the sea Of
humanity. His personality Is such
that, even IL he tried. he could not
shut himself in and keep from the
public view. His life has been one
series Of c1imaxes. each one SURPRISING
that which preceded 1t. and after he
has left the White House 1t Ii not to
be expected that he will hide himself.
Grover Cleveland, the only other
former president who is still living,
says that Roosevelt must be dignihed.
What the former Democratic idol may
mean is somewhat ambiguous. but still
he would probably agree to form a lit
tie ex-presidents association with Mr..
Roosevelt and give the latter free les
sons in being dignifed. The sage OF
Princeton could probably teach Presi-
dent Roosevelt something about bait
ing a hook or hauling in a fish, but 1t
is to be feared that the strenuous one
would soon fall into that state of
innocuous desuetude" which Presi-
dent Cleveland had the honor OF dis
covering. The Compartments Of the two
men are not such that would enable
them to get along any too agreeably
and the ass ociation would probably die
an early death from lack OF harmony.
John Sharp Williams, he of the
mighty arm and pugnacious DISPOSE
ton. who swatted his confrere in the
lower house In the eye after a few
personal pleasantries. Gays nobody
cares what becomes Of the president,
but John Sharp does not take himself
seriously when he makes such a re-
mark.
But the suggestions which come
from other people. persons who hope
and trust that the president will be
spared to many years or usefulness,
are making various suggestions. These
include every possibility from taking
a. rest to taking a trip around the
world. Now it is just possible that
President Roosevelt may consider it
somewhat of a private matter what he
does with himself when he quits the
White House, and If the question were
put direct to him as to what he is
going to do 1t is a hundred to one shot
that he would reply he had not Yet
decided and that in fact he has not
given the matter any very serious con-
sideration. 1t is known that he will
seek rest and recreation after his
seven years of rather ceaseless ac-
tivity, and when his mind Is given
freedom from the cares OF state. the
people of the country may expect to
hear some announcement. It will
probably not be SO near exciting or SO
strenuous as was his last message to
congress Of a fortnight ago.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

which were admitted to this country
free of duty. It is claimed they Sc
cured these valuables by purchase
from the soldiers of the European
armies, who are not forbidden to loot.
as American soldiers are. But the old
adage about the receiver Of stolen
goods would seem to apply to this
case. The Congers were exceedingly
useful to the Americans and other
foreigners whose lives were in peril
during the troubles at Pekin and there
is general regret that they have placed
the collection of loot on sale in this
country. We'd like to know what
some Of the Heather Chinese think
of this preeedure7
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24
JOURNAL ENTRIES

1t takes the single man to think he
understands women.
q =
Girls consider some men 80 attrac-
tive that they waive the mistletoe ex-
cuse.
q
Many regulations are gained by criti-
cfsing things in way nobody can un-
derstaud.
Belief In the Darwtnian theory IL
easy when q person is thinking Of
someone he does not like.
= -
There are two kinds Of friends. One
who wants to do something for you,
and other, more prevalent, who wants
You to do something for him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

DIR. w. ]. Sinclair, of the University
OF California, has issued a bulletin in
which he demonstrates, to his own sat
isfaction at least. that man did not live
IN California during the time of the
three-toed horse. We confess to not
knowing that this was a much mooted
question but are glad that it has been
settled in such convincing fashion.
And we hope that no one will be so
impertinent as to ask the necessity of
ever raising and settling such a ques-
ton, or the good that has been ac-
conplished by it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHEIoR
rFrom the New York Press

from the New York Press.l
A girls objection is not to snoor.
but to calling 1t that.
A man can nearly always get how.
early IL there's nothing else to do A1oiie
The longer a woman can sit 4,
mans lap without being too heavy ~
surer 1t IS that they aren't married vet
1t is better for a girl to have f7,-tes
with an old man than never r. ilteo
made a fool of any. nave
A woman doesn't get her n,or.,..-
worth out of going to the theatsr
less she begins to get ready fnr !. un q
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24
GLOBE SIGHTS.
tFrom the Atchison Globe.l

From the Atchison Globe.l
The time 1t takes to be polite Is never
wasted.
All wedding write-ups are made to
sound as If the man got a wonderful
bargain for his money.
The average man takes up so much
of his time talking about his ambition
that he never has time to realize it.
There Is but one thing more danger
Gus. than to be on friendly terms with
gossip: to be on unfriendly terms
with one.
About the only social function at
which a man can carry himself without
awkwardness is when he is pallbearer
at a funeral.
We don't suppose there ever was a
milliner or dressmaker who did not ac-
cuse other milliners and dressmakers
of copying her styles.
When tempted to tell men secrets
that will make them open their eyes,
one never remembers that they will
probably open their mouths we'll.
Two sisters living in Atchison quar-
relied many years ago. One Of them
recently said; I'VE had a fuss thirty
years ago. Let me see; what did we
fuss about7''
You can learn something about men
from experience, but you can't about
women. A widow knows how to please
men, but a widower knows nothing
about pleasing women.
It a woman buys dress, she worries
from the time she starts from the dry
goods store until the day she has the
dress on her back, about how to have It
made, and how it will look.
Is there such a thing as polite way
| in which to ask a man his name? we
| have seen a great many men who were
| considered very polite, but we have
noticed that they blundered when ask
| ing man his name.
Do not say thanks" in expressine
yourself. 1t Is undignified and inner.
! tinent. It is too brief to be polite and
sounds as though you didn't have time
| to say thank you," yet seven out OF
| ten invariably use the expression.
| Every Saturday night, Father, in or
der to encourage his children to he
thrifty, must give each one an allow
ance to put in the bank. But out OF
the deal, where does Father get his al
lowance to put In the bank, that he NAV
be thrifty. toof
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24
THE uoNGER LOOT

The sale of the conger loot has
rightly not been received by the press
and the people Of this country very
pleasantly. Mr.. Conger was the rep
resentative of the United States at
Pekin during the Boxer troubles. The
allied forces captured the city and the
soldiers and others took what they
could lay their hands on. The Com
gers came home with large coiIec-
ton Of relics consisting of valuable
objects OF ar. metals and rich fabrics
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

Crosby Stuart Noyes, the distinguish
ed editor of the Washington Star for
many years, is dead and journalism in
the United States has suffered great
loss. Mr.. Noyes was one of the deans
of American newspaperdom and dur
ing his long career he stood at all times
as a purveyor of clean and sound jour
nalism,-the Journalism that is effec-
tive His reportorial and editorial ca
reer was one that is worthy of emula-
ton
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

Club women in the east have started
q movement to stop hazing in the col
lgees. Will Edward Box, the erudite
editor of the Ladies' Home Journal,
approve of this move or will he still
insist that about the only proper func-
lions for club women are to work along
lines for the Identification of towns
and cities?
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

The American jackies are reported
to be enjoying a good time at Peru
They are deserving Of having all the
fun possible For they and the men
In the engine rooms and stoke holes
are responsible in a great measure for
the wonderfully successful progress
that the great fleet has made so far.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

Theodore Chaliapine, the Russian
basso who has been grand operating
around the east, kissed dozen friends
goodby the other day and sailed for
home. He left behind him the thought
that the Americans are children in
things that pertain to art and also
business. Perhaps he's right as to art
but he certainly is wrong as to bust
ness and It is hard work to understand
how he came to make this remark in
view of the fact that some New York
bankers have So. 500 of his easily earn
ed money in defunct bank.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

Governor Fort, of New Jersey, is be-
ing doomed for the vice presidential
nomination ON the Republican ticket.
Congressman Victor Murdoch thinks
that Governor Fort will do for the
place and he picks him to win 1t. That
helms some
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

Now the members Of congress, who
are more or less Of a failure in enact
ing needed legislation for the benefit OF
the whole people propose to so legdslate
for Washington, D. c., as to make
1t an example for American cities in
progressive treatment of public utiH-
ties. The results of their 1abors along
this line will be watched with interest.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24
Honors never come singly.

Honors never come singly. The sur
viving Kaw Indians have offered the
tribal crown to United States Senator
Charles Curtis. They want to make
him the big chief Of the tribe. He is
particularly modest in the premises.
Nothing would please him more than
to accept this honor, maybe, but he
thinks it should go to one of the full
bIooded members of the tribe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

John H Atwood, of Leavenworth,
easily won his contest for reelection
as the Kansas Democratic natlonaI
committeeman. This means that the
Kansas Democrats will be adequately
renresented on this committee.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

nouncement has been made by the Rock
Island and the Santa Fe, two of the
big systems in the west. It is likely,
though. that the constitutionality of
this law will be tested in the courts
later.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24

A droll story comes from Paris tell
ing how taxable dogs are located by
hired men who stroll the residential
streets and invite responses from
dogs to imitation banks. The Topeka
dog catcher may find a suggestion In
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-02-24
KANSAS COMAENT
THE NEW RATES.

me board of railroad commission
ers mas issued an order that the
scheouIes of freight rates compiled
r ny snail go into effect tomorrow.
oer OF not, 1T remains that the rates
are unsatisfactory to many Kansas
Towns. 1t has been freely predicted
IAal the rates compiled by the board
Wouio not be unsatisfactory to the
raiiroaos and would not be the cause
" d nsnr Be that as 1t may, these
rates are not satisfactory to Kansas
people In that they will not disturb
liLS DETERMINATIONS practfced by the
railroads. The rates are hardly a
Vinoicatlon for the board of rail-
road commissioners.-Salina Journal.
THE INNOCENT STOCKHOLDERS"
N ms latest message the president
S faIds q la1l out Of the innocent stock
thing as an innocent stockhoider r.
= Ian mas stock in a corporation. he
elIner taxes 1t with his eyes open or
ns Wlliingly closes them when he takes
Stool Itrioenos. Any man who has
STOCK IN a corporation who gets bin
ae,vloenos takes his chances and If the
jail IS at the other end to Jail he
should go. There has been too mucn
Iaih OF the Innocent stockholder.-
TILE SEA AND THE PRAIRIEs
It is told that no man lives bv the
sea mat ever quite gets over the spell
:. ~. mat he always longs to see
asaln. That is all right but did
you ever know anyone to get over the
spei or the prairies, the inland sea
,i,za s:Iretcnes out through what looks
be fascination in the sea hut thars
Is ometh1ng in the prairies that fast
ems the love OF the people to them in
sucn way that there is no brealrinr
OF the Ties. That Is why no one who
mas ever hved in Kansas Is quite CON-
Journal -1s1w rence
HOCH AND KELLY
The state of Kansas is out about
.So'UoV as result of the failure OF
Tue levin bank in Topeka threa wears
ago. ana Governor Hoch is shown
ms pr1stles against the bonding COM
IAI, VINO went on State Treasurer
heiiys bond and who have refused 70
make good the loss. They cIaino
Iney stood good for the money in the
STATE treasury vaults, not in any bank.
,hat Governor Hoch knew Kelly was
keeping the money in banks contrarv
70 Jaw. why is 1t that Governor Hoch
mas not cracked down on Ke1Iv and
made him either go to iaiI for vioIa-
tioh OF law, or make the bonding COM
pahles come across and make good
the loss? The chances are that Won
VIII never live to see the day when the
state will have that $4,000 back. II
IS also worth while observing once
more that both Tom Kelly, who is re-
sponsible for the state losing $50. oO0.
and Governor Hoch, who is resnon,
sible for allowing Tom Kelly to lose
$4,000 of the states money. are the
results of political REFORM Atchison
Globe. :,