The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-04-03
Concerning Boys.
BY MARCO.

lists, after much research, have clas-
sified them under the following heads.
viz: the small boy, the boy too big
for his pants, and the "old boy"
In this world of sin and sorrow, the
small boy has lively and exciting
time of it, and from all well-authen-
ticated accounts, they appear to be
regular little savages.
For the concentrated essence of
pure "cussedness," take a youngster
from eight to thirteen years old, and
they are up to snuff generally, and
are not to be sneezed at, and whether
they are to blame or not, they get all
the credit. For who are they that
stone the frogs, trip up old women.
fill your boots with water, throw spit
balls at your head, scare the little
boys to death, and brighten the girls
out of their five senses, tie tin kettles
to dogs tails, drown the kitten in the
we'll, and hang the old cat on the
sour apple tree? Who drive the geese
to water, litter up your floor with
shavings. daub your best table-cloth
with paste, adorn your front fence
with mud, hang up their clothes on
the middle of the kitchen floor. and
paint your old white horse a la zebra?
Who are always raising Cain about
the house, waking up the baby, and
kicking up pandemonium wherever
they may he? Who is it that puts
bricks il the hat on the sidewalk,
and cayenne pepper upon the school
room stove and plug up the pipe,
whenever they want holiday, and
whistle when the teacher turns his.
back? Who are always first in mis-
chief, first at the other end of their
class, and the first to stay after
school? Who are always breaking
their necks. cutting off their fingers
with the hay-cutter, jumping into
bramble-bushes and scratching out
their eyes. and tumbling over their
own shadows? And finally, who are
they that go to college and get into
all kinds of scrapes. while the girls
stay at home and attend to their do
NASoSAN ouSAOo aAoWtl UOyS.
1t is also as true as preaching that
as class boys are the best-abused
animal that walks, the mule not ex-
cepted. For who is it that crawls out
of his warm bed at o'clock on
frosty morning, feeds the Critters,
splits the kindling wood, builds all
the fires, brings all the water, and
gets cuffed around until he doesn't
know which end he is standing on?
Who wears his fathers old clothes,
slouches along in boots mile too
big for him, and is told forty times
day that he does not earn his salt?
Who does all the chores, is always
In the way when his sister has beau,
and doesn't know beans when the bag
Is open? That. boy.
Boys have figured much in history
and everywhere else, except upon the
blackboard, which they have left for
the girls to monopolze, while they
play marbles, or wind the reverend
ing string around pegtops which
never spin, while they have terrible
headache at o'clock, and dig worms
the rest of the day, while they play
hockey" and so in swimming, or
swap jackknives, and otherwise i'm
prove their minds.
Although they can tell you who
won the last bicycle contest, or prize
fight, and which is the champion
baseball club, and when the next
great agricultural horse trot comes
off, still they cannot always repeat
the Declariton of Independence back
ward, or tell the reason why some
pumpkins look like watermelons in
the dark.
History tells us that Simple Simon
and Peter Piper were both boys.
1t was boy that stood upon the
burning deck.
Nobody but boy would have
wadcd through snow and ice to lug
a banner with the strange device
Excelsior" up a mountain when
the probabilities were that it would
rain.
And wasn't B. Franklin boy once.
and didn't he fly his kite the whole
fourteen skeins, and catch thunder.
and have not most of the boys been
catching it ever since?
Adam was also of the masculine
gender, but as he never was a boy. his
education had been much neglected.
and, besides, he did not know much
about girls.
Without the boys, history would be
dull reading, for there would be no
Jack and the Bean Stalk, no Dick
Wilmington and his wonderful cat.
and no bad little boys with which to
point moral or adorn tale.
Boys are useful in their sphere.
which, like woman's, is somewhat
limited.
Although all well-brought up girls
think that boys are perfectly hor-
rid" still they are not slow to en-
brace the opportunity-if it is a boy
of being escorted home from sing
ing school by one of those horrid crea-
lures, especially if the moon does
not shine. and there is no gas down
their way.
Boys are useful to strap on the
girls skates. to scare off the cows, to
carry the extra shawls and lunch
baskets at picnics, and to crawl under
the circus tent. and get Hail Column
bia' when they are caught.
Z Boys are great to fill up with. They
are a regular bonanza to the poll
ticians, for If they cannot vote and