The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-09-01
D RIFT " OD

Love is blind and sometimes there are cases when 1t would be better if marriage were in the same fix. Preachers believe in marrying" fol of their sources of revenue. Another thing a woman always hates: pfather-Atchison Globe. (That depends on the woman-some of them like a stepfather and father vet).
 Little Cecil wrote home from the country to his grandmother: "Dey've got kow out here that won't giv any milk cause he is too lazy Some people waste so much time talking about it that they never arrive any place except at a conclusion. If there could only be some scheme to let one of these big hotel walters take up the church collection, wouldn'f the people separate themselves from their coin? As 1t is to be porch campaign MT Taft had better choose a good strong hammock In flirting with Miss Pres- idenoy-
 Apples make cider. but cheap board ing houses produce vegetarians. Falling in love is just like falling into mud puddle. Eyerypody symnpad, ynpsd at your predicament. that no one or fers to help you out.
 wonder if the Merry Widows will be quite as broad in their merriment this fall?
 Be careful fellows. when she wears your picture in her watch the chances are she will bring you 10 tihe' Now that Artist Earle has beat his affinity nearly to death we would pause to state that this ought to knock all sentiment out of the fad. Mary had a little lamb. She took it up to Birmingham. But 1t got so smutty (sad to telD. That now the poor beast looks like a different lamb altogether.
 + "'Tis sweet to hear the watch dogs honest bark, But. say. don't let him get out on a Unless he's got a muzzle on. for gee They'll shoot him dead here in Mont gomeryi
 A bachelor is. a man who is NOT afraid to come home in the dark. Wine improves with age. The chorus girl does not. however. which may account for the fact that she is so fond of 1t. People usually admire their opposites. The summer girl, returned to town IN No ,ar more by 5essids ,esstas lingersm M s ao There's a "sparkler" on her fingers.  The Lord loves a cheerful giver: the devil has an attachment. however, for the cheerful liar.
 Darts at Drift. Drift Armstrong went to Washing ton. We never dreamed that boosting Count Perreard's spaghetti and Dem his Mullan's herring would have proved such an attraction to Drift Houston Post. have found a new diamond field in South Africa. The thought struck us that this might be the Drift" being advertised for in The Atlanta Geor- Lake Charles Press.
 Drift Setting in Toward Bryan" an- nounces an Eastern exchange. Is that the man The Atlanta Georgia Is Iook- ing forf-Houston Post.
 Montgomery. Aug. 20. 1908. Phil Armstrong, Driftwood: Driftwood has again made it's ap- pearance in The Advertiser to the de- light of It's numerous admirers. While Drift Armstrong was on his vacation the old maids, blue-eyed blondes, cream colored brunettes and merry widows. that his column has made noted, were all mourning for him. They missed his humorous poetical voice, gentle hits" and sarcastic questions pertaining to their sex and fashion: you still" and are ready and willing to greet you with their sweet, sunny gmileb.
 The Height of Happiness. Sitting here reviewing all the nice
 things folks are doing, Wondering what I'd rather do than
 all;
 Thinking of the pleasure of possessing
 costly treasure.
 Pondering on a place in Fame's
 grand hall. To myself I have decided (though to
 no one else confided), That of all the joys that mortal man
 has said; The sweetest and the grandest that
 would make me smile the Would be just to have
 My
 Brekfast
 Brought
 To
 Bed don't want fame and money nor some
 one to call me honey, Less the money or the honey got me
 this,
 the sleep that 1 desire, With no one to kick if breakfast l
 should miss, Oh what joy to have the boy knock to
 wake me up then l, , Tn a grouchy way could say, "Go While f nestled meath the cover and
 his patient little brother By and by would fetch
 My
 Breakfast
 Up