The bee., 1908-10-29
How He
Fooled Her
BY Max AdoIer.

| to send a telegram to his wife al a
certain hour announcing that he had
been run over on the railroad and
killed. Then Bungay cane home and.
slipping into the house unperceived, he
secreted himself in the closet in the
sitting room to await she arrival of The
telegram and TO see how Mrs. Bungay
took it. After awhile II came, and he
saw the servant girl give II to his wife.
She opened 1t, and as she read it she
gave one little start. Then Bungay
saw smile gradually overspread her
features She rang for the girl and
when the servant came Mrs. Dungay
said to her:
Mary, Mr.. Bungay's been killed.
I've just got the news. | reckon III
have to put on black for him, though
hate to give up my new bonnet for
mourning You just go round to the
milliner's and ask her to fetch me up
some Of the latest styles OF widows
bonnets, and then bring the under
taker here"
While Mrs.. Bungay was waiting she
smiled Continually, and once or twice
she danced around the room and stood
in mont of the looking glass, and Bun
gay heard her murmur to herself:
Il amt such q bad-looking woman,
either. wonder what James will
think OF me"
"James!" thought Bungay. as his
widow took her seat and sang softly,
nc sf ha fx.Ik 80 ntt1a rlxr ho
Whom the thunder's James? She
certainly can't mean that Infamous old
undertaken, Toombs? His names James
and he's a wldower; but it's preposter-
Gus to suppose that she cares for him.
or is going TO prowl after any man for
husband as quick as this"
While he brooded in horror over the
thought Mr. Toombs arrived. The
widow said: =
"Mr Toombs, Bungay is dead; run
over by a locomotive and chopped all
up"
VERY sorry to hear IT, madam; l
sympathize with you in your Attic
ton"
Thank you; it is pretty sad. But l
don't worry much. Bungay was a poor
sort OF man to get along with; and
now that he's gone I'm going to stand
it without crying my eyes out. Wen
have to bury him, s'pose. thought"
THAT is the usual thing to do in
such cases"
We'll, want you to tend to 1t for
me reckon the coroner'll have to sit
on him first. But when they get
through, il you'll just collect the pieces
and shake him into some kind of a
bag and pack him into coffin, I'll be
obliged"
Certainly. Mrs. Bungay.
Il will attend to it,"
And. Mr.. Toombs, there il another
matter. Mr.. Bungays life was, Insured
for about 1000, and l want to get 1t
as soon as possible, and when / get
# ] shall think Of marrying again"
Indeed, madam!"
Yes; and can you think Of anybody
who'll suit mel"
Il dunno. / might. Twenty thou.
sand, you say he leftf"
4 MtnlN NhOuEohA u.s. ANO"g NAAA
Toombs, youIl think me bold. but l
only tell the honest truth when / say
that prefer a widower. and a man
who is about middle-age, and in some
business connected with the oeme-
| teries"
How would an undertaken suit
! your"
81 think very well, n could hnd
one. often told Bungay that I wished
! he was an undertaken"
well, Mrs. Bungay, It's a little
kinder sudden; I haven't thought much
about IL; and old Bungay's hardly got
! fairly settled in the world of the here
after; but business is business, and II
you must have an undertaken to love
YOU and look after that life insurance
money, It appears to me that am just
about that kind of a man. WIN you
! take me?"
"oh. James! fold me to your bo-
som!"
James was just about to fold her
when Bungay. white with rage. burst
from the closet. aud exclaimed:
"Unhand her, villain! Touch that
woman and you die! Leave this house
at once, or I'll brain you with the
poker! And as for you. Mrs. Bungay,
you can pack up your buds and quit.
I've done with you; ] know now that
you are cold-hearted. faithleSs, abo-
minable wretch Go. and 80 at once!
! did this to try you, and my eyes are
opposed"
% know you did. and con-luded to
pay you In your own coin
That's too thin. II won't hold wa
ter"
ITS true, anyhow. You told Mr..
Magin you were going to do II, and
he told me-
HE did. hey? III bust the head OF
OF him"
when you are really dead | will be
q good deal more sorry, provided you
don't make such q fool OF yourself
while you're alive
"You will? You will really be sorry?'
"Of course