davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
CORNELL WIDOWS JESTS.


Ike Widow cams the credit OF orlgl-
1G the nonsense rhymes which dealt
i Nm the rIcyprncss and precOcitv of the
Nh Rel, r,J ,nI,, a,no1o,a1,. ,1,,or
. ,I' :'',S ID" WIG C"l'Ic9S!S ol"uS. II
r., " TIos "omv q 'W " thnI
@'I onn po,, I'I ~ T,ha W,d ,m 0c
W. a"i "lr, i" III 1on0 T W." IL OT
4, thoy wrrc roIinctnd and nubIiShnd
mmnrat form nndor +Lo non1o Of
| M Johnny Rnol, " Jobnnv StartoJ
career nv "9n tragedy " as follows.
nror bnr,. ~ he ,fttIa '.is+nr VS. i''1'"'
2a Tos Ioa5 L L,f ,'T S.Stgi ioa hor
nrDyS Aims mn - t IlcE in'SN'o "'''
Amt he cutrr-he's only sivv
yv, ~, Ga 49,.
.r1 1 we "uu ll'al
l9 1"I bis T hrat n nIS , iaI,ie axe
IL DON'T care if Mama E ,i
1t he cute:-hc's only six
LATER invoronuo,+ ur +lo r4+1o .o,,,u
srS thor WI ''''"' VI tue niue r"i''P
1,,, ' h,,..
yr his S" [, F0"I from ;,, 9a1 to worse
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
Mother Of 200.

The veterinary surgeon paused in his
lecture to display an aged cat in a
basket lined with pink flannel.
Gentlemen" he said, "this cat holds
so Far as I know the maternity record
She is Is years old, and she is the moth
er of 200 kittens.
81 know of many cases of Tables of
II or IA that have brought 100 and even
125 little ones into the world, but there
is no other case recorded of a feline
mother of 200"
He patted the aged animals head.
wish l could introduce you to the Presi-
dent"
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
,@1oRING HOME
I n PAUL REVERE
,,rERESTING DISCOVERIES
~ N HOUSE IN WHICH
s'J raE PATRIOT LIVED
.,.,T RELICS ARE FOUND.
. Are Wooden Buttons, Bits
49,, Axe Heads, Hand Made
W r,o,b and Other Things.
. ACE OF THE BUILDING.

,...,.- been known, says the
r.n.criot. thaJ there have been
. I.%' srH changes made to the
au'' nor-r since Paul Revere
Nv, and in the restoration now
w., +. necessary to remove many
Oh :, nar.ition walls, which not
" ..ahfi~npd the old lines of the
Id, ,onJ any possible question, but
u" ,..arrd some very interesting
.sary one little ell room was
b.. ,,vc been Iatned ana plastered
49,, fine old cIapboards Of the
"J t,ns, 50 after removing the
.o ..ar and plaster and the modern
..,rn have been uncovered the Old
...lerboauls. hand made, with Il
-" ", mouIdiug on the edge of each
uG' .onr,r This will be restored to
u III the rest Of that portion OF the
II a? s".t aS it was originally. The old
J,Ft nthS have been mentioned
,. T nS Veil as the old hand made
..,t were used in securing them.
. ,,y' nnon LAYERS of wall paper have
'|,oI riying almost Il chronology
.l"rJ Of the various rooms. More
s,,r-two large carloads OF dirt
r.a.ornnI9tiou have been taken out
!, coIgr. When this work was first
mn an ordinary man could not STAND
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
IotpSe Gould Not Stand II

q, , @oa9.e Capt. Dugge of the Ham
i. <arS. inner Prince Oscar. was
N,ys,...."S with a seasick passenger.
r,r ~ la..g>>, sir, W said the captain, lis
h ~~>,y ching. Some peoples suffer
.n "'T-a, are far more atrocious than
@ y,n,-, once carried a Philadelphian
a: p 's.g g,e,lSht Of his seasickness this
s stf.~:5;o.NePh,ou beckoned his wife to
J err,rr1. ana said in a weak voice:
h. e.,!y, nay viii is in the Commercial
; 1r i~Eooy care. Everything is left
b n r rr'.,, My various stocks you will
at, fsr -Ton paused and sighed. Then he
u i ,1G,any, bury me on the other
'33j,""" stand this trip again, alive
New York Press.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
Useless Studies

school now, Patsy?
Patsy-French, English composition,
algebra and geometry.
Pat, Sr-(shaking head hopelessly)--
Divil help'll wan av thin be to We whin
We grow up t carryin' tn hod!-Bo-
hemian.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
INSANITY and the Teeth.

Ia Glo r o. 4 dispatch to The Sun
s'aia ta 'r,%hd referring to the cure of
b Of to o,.L> OF insanity by the extrac-
>so,im5> Iy, ,' ny DIR. L. Ballard Lodge,
\ 0nn s ,%N been called to a thesis on
fs5y. TI"aJee5 written by DR.. Richard
,sc ,lor . ~, ot the city of Annapolis,
>& thesis =: ,.o,0 Years ago. 1t was the
.8'o)ql rI IL, 1871, and DR.. Grady was
z he a, .,G nrSt gold medal ever given
,e. ~ ,''., 7, OF the Baltimore Medical
ne, " '"lN connection DR.. Grady
Tia o..
be pa5 "'.e4or of insanity as result
""u irritation caused by the
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31

l had pains in my
back and hips and
felt all worn out.
Dizzy spells bothered
me and the kidney
secretions were irreg-
ular. The first box
of Doan's Kidney
Pills brought decided
relief. l am sure
they would do the
same for any other
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
Saved Again.

IAN alone in a trackless desert SER ,
walled the heroine. Not a tree. NOT ;o,I q
rock in sight IT, Herr a6gsl conc { do?" 'ne ie'
mons ,niv on fro m de trap shouted friend
!. ut oine hand ,aT .Yure standin' right over
! led,ly. -Houston Chronicle,
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31

Out of the frying pan into the fire is
state of affairs that is dreadfuIly dire;
but If you'd stay out of the fire the
plan is not to get into the frying pan.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31

Those earnest men who upward climb
leave footprints in the sands of time,
nor is success for them complete unless
they master some great feat.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31

That he laughs best who laugheth last
| do not quite believe, for he has never
been surpassed who laugheth in his
sleeve
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31

Ludwig Brewer, a laborer residing at
1912 Wells street, was badly scaded
this afternoon at the Gallun tannery.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31

The chronic borrower depends for
spending money on his friends, and says
why if they didn't lend it, the chumps
would only go and spend it."-New York
Times
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
Metrical Musings of a Cynic.

The folks who court trouble are lack
ing in wit. They always get double by
marrying it!
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
Money Cost of tuberculosis.

1t is estimated that tuberculosis occa.
sions to the United States an annual loss
of at least $330,000, 000.-Medical Jour
nal
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
PILES CURED IN 9 TO DAYS.

| PAZO OINTMENT Is guaranteed to cure any
case of Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protrud
Ing Piles in to IA days or money refunded
/
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31

woman suffering as 1 did"
Sold by all dealers, so cents q box
FosterMilburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
KentuckY's Girl Jockey.

Three hundred girls are employed in
the harness trade in New York, and Ken
lucky has a girl jockey.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31

MRS wINSLOW'S SOOTHING SYRUP for
Children teething; softens the gums, reduces n.
6ammation allays pain wind collie. 25
cents bottle.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
Hides and Furs Tanned for Robes.
Scalded at Tannery

Coats or Rugs. Send for price list to
Taubert Tannery, Minneapolis, Mimi.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31

"Dukg Hegs Knewly Lade" is a sign
which graces the window OF dairy shop
in South London.
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
Only One ..DRoHro ouIN1Nr,,

That is LAXATIVE BRoMo oUININE. LooI
Tor the signature of K. w. GROVE. Used tn,
World over to Cure a Cold in One dav 2hc
Eagle River review. [volume] (Eagle River, Wis.) 1890-1927, 1908-01-31
WORN OUT WOMEN

VIII Find Encouragement In Mrs.
Merritt's Advice.
Mrs. w. L. Merritt, 2O7 S. First
Ave-, Anoka, Mimi, says: Last Win
ter began to suffer with my kidneys.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14
WANTED TO SEE CREDENTIALS
Restaurant Man Had His Own Idea
of Modern Statesmen.

It has been more than a year now
since members of congress have rid,
den on railroad passes and the states
men have had time to miss them great
ly not only on account Of the saving
but because the bits of pasteboard fur
nished ready Identification when need
ed. Senator Beveridge, who never &C
copied favOrs from the railroads, tells
a story that illustrates the point
One day prior to the passage of the
rate bill he was travelling on small.
railroad in Indiana and stopped at q
railroad lunch counter and got hur.
ried bite. His check was 40 cents. He
searched his pockets and could find nc
change. He rendered a big bill, which
the lunch counter man could not
change. He wanted to send the money,
but he was not known. He volunteered
the information that he was Senator
Beveridge, but the man smiled skep'
ticaliy, and said he had known Other
men who said they were United States
senators ~and who had tried to play
the "big bill' game.
"lf you are senator show me youl
railroad passes," he said. -.'
But never ride on passes," replied
Beveridge. :.
''Then you amt no SENATOR" de
clared the lunch counter man with
fnality.
If the conductor had not come tc
his rescue the senator would have
been left behind.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14

about a month in the Essequibo coun-
try. He has not yet formed any def
finite plan as to just how far up the
little known river he and his wife will
venture, but will be governed, he says,
entirely by circumstances as he finds
them when the actual journey into the
interior is begun.
IF we find place suitable for MAX
ing our observations and study within
a comparatively short distance of the
coast" said he, eve may stop there
and spend practically our whole time
in that vicinity. Again, we may go a
considerable way up the Essequibo.'
Both because Of the lack of time and
because of the fact that there are
many dangerous rapids in the upper
river which would necessitate their
carrying their boats around them, Mr..
Beebe said he hoped to find locality
adapted to his purpose further down
stream. The character Of British
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14
IT is TO LAUGH

"Of course said the tourist, you
know all about the antidotes for snake
bite?"
"Certainly, replied the explorer.
.Well,when a snake bites you what's
the first thing you do?"
"Yell."-Philadelph Press.
Dennis-Goin' t. sphend tn wake END
at Callahan's are yez? An phwat do
yez call the wake end?
Terence-Shure, thot's Saturday
noight frum tn tonne yez draw yure
pay till tn saloons close.-Judge.
Mr.. Mcguire (to hospital attendant)
Phwat did ye say the doctors name
was?
Attendant-Dr Fitzpatrick.
Mr.. McQuire-Thot settlej it. No
doctor wild thot cognomen will git a
chance to operate on me-not if
know it.
Attendant-Why not?
Mr.. McQpire-Well, We see. my name
is Patrick. Judge.
did you ever hear of perfect man
in your life?''
'.Yes--a man who had every virtue
under the sun and no vices to speak
Of"
Had you any real proof of his ex-
istence?"
well, I read it all on his tombstone"
Baltimore American.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14

ward. Thereby all the fluid is forced
through the choanoe and nostrils,
washing the throat and nose from be-
hind and expelling all the accumula-
lions that had been present, with
great force.
'"This should be repeated several
times, as the first trial is not always
successful and satisfactory. It is an
act that must be learned.
when properly executed the sensa-
ton, as the patient will assure you, is
that Of great relief not had by any 9TH
er method. It will be wise for the
practitioner to try the method first on
himself. Even small children who are
at all clever learn the method readily
and rather enjoy it.
The method is not by and means
new one, but as it seems, quite forgot.
ten. Some thirty years ago Prof. Ha.
gen Of Leipsic taught it to his stu.
dents. It lis well worth reviving.'
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14
Need Miles of CARPET,

The house Of representatives is q
pretty expensive problem when il
comes to carpeting. 1t is a series oil
semicircular platforms about -four
feet in width. Try to figure out an
easy, inexpensive way of carpeting
these terraces. If you succeed you
will be welcomed with enthusiasm by
the chief clerk.
1t is the chief clerk, by the way
who provides the soap, towels, brooms
rugs, in fact all the new things which
the foreman has to keep in repair
When the chairman Of a committee
falls off his chair, as one did the
other day, breaks the caster, smashes
the frame and shivers a plate glass
fire screen, it is probable that the
clerk and the foreman have to patch
it UP between them.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14
S2.4O PER YEAR.
SHE WILL VISIT WILD COUNTRY
Mrs. G. W. Beebe Will Accompany Her Husband in Studying
Little Known Regions of British Guiana.

Guiana was such, the forests approach
ing close to the settlements along the
coast, he added, that he believed he
would be able to find almost if not
quite as great variety Of bird and an
imal life few hundred miles up the
river as would be found nearer the
Essequibo's source
'SOur object in making this trip into
the South American forest" said Mr..
Beebe, will be to study the birds and
animals in their living state in their
native environment We may bring
home a few live birds, but that will be
merely incidental to our main purpose,
which will be to study the habits of the
living things we shall find in this
wonderful tropical country. 49,
"Collecting has been done to death,
but comparatively little progress has
been made toward studying the life
and habits of the birds and other re.
markable living things which exist in
this part of South America
eve Shall try to get what light we
can on such problems as those of why
certain birds have certain colorings
and why the toucans have big bills, all
Of which has been a question of evolu-
tion.'
Mr.. Beebe declared he does not con-
slider that he will be mourning any
thing worth speaking Of in making his
expedition.
If there was any danger, I wouldn't
be very likely to take my wife with
me-" said he.
The two naturalists probably will
return to New York in about two
months.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14

For the purpose of studying at close
range the practically unknown bird
and animal life which exists in the
dense forests of tropical South Ameri-
ca, c. William Beebe, curator of birds
in the Bronx Geological Gardens, New
York, and his wife, who is also a
naturalist and who has accompanied
her husband on previous excursions
into little known lands, have started
on a new expedition which it is ex
pected will result in most important
contributions to existing scientific
knowledge.
The thick jungle in the forest of
British Guiana, which comparatively
few white men have penetrated, will
be the objective of the two travellers.
To reach this Mr.. and Mrs. Beebe will
be obliged to ascend for considerable
distance the Essequibo river, one of
the largest and at the same time one
of the least known Of the large rivers
of Northern South America.
With the exception of one English
man, who went up the river in 1910,
shooting right and left and collecting
the skins of the strange animals he
met with there, no scientist has ever
really explored the Essequibo, and it's
upper branches particularly, which
TEEN with wonderful tropical life of all
kinds, are virtually unknown. 1t is to
learn something Of these marvels of
nature, as exemplified in the life of the
birds, animals, and reptiles of these
dense South American forest sections,
that Mr.. and Mrs. Beebe are about to
undertake their journey.
Taking passage aboard the steam
ship Korona, of the Quebec line, they
will go directly to Georgetown, the
principal city of British Guiana, where
they will secure the permission Of the
governor to go into the interior. Their
next step will be to engage a negro
cook and four South American Indian
guides familiar with the Essequibo
jungle. These Indians are numerous in
British Guiana and, although most of
them are in more or less of a wild
state, and use poisoned arrows, they
81 " pSA4SSC1y 411Ouu1y W WulCo u0u
and make very acceptable guides.
The ascent of the Essequibo will be
made by the two naturalists and ex-
plored in sort of canoe-like house or
tent boat. This they have already
practically engaged. It will be about
five feet wide and from twenty to
twenty-five feet in length. At night
Mr.. and Mrs. Beebe will sleep aboard
this narrow craft, while their cook and
1.-The Indians will make themselves COM
Portable ashore in hammockss swung
from the trees. The little expedition
will also be equipped with small ca
noe for padding up into creeks and
other small streams.
1t is Mr.. Beebe's intention to spend
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14
ST PAUL AND MINNEAPOLIS. MIN. MARCH
SOURCE OF ONE SCOOP"
How Wideawake Washington Core
spondent Got His Story.

1t may not be wide of the mark to
tell how once on time Washington
correspondent, who, with 20 Of his
followers, was in the outer White
House office, secured what is known
to the daily writing fraternity as a
SCOOP" and secured it under the
very noses of his fellows. This thing
hardly can happen more than once in
a newspaper mans lifetime under
similar circumstances.
1t was in the early days of railroad
rate agitation. The whole country was
anxious to know what the president
Intended to do, what bill for rate
regulation he intended to indorse and
what member of congress was to be
the lucky father of the measure which
was to hold the country's Interest
tainly for an entire session.
While the correspondents were in
the White House Office a man came
out from the presidents room, passed
unchallenged by the newspaper men,
for apparently none Of them knew
him, and walked rapidly away from
the entrance in the direction of Penn:
sylvania avenue. One correspondent
did know this man by sight, but he
held his peace and his own counsel.
= Before the presidents visitor had
vanished from sight, however, the cor.
respondent who knew who he was
started after him and overlook him.
The correspondent was taking the one
chance in 500 that he could "land" a
story. He happened to know that the
presidents visitor was an absolutely
new member of congress from Michi
gan, and man who had made a con
siderable study in his home state OF
railroad problems. From him the cor,
respondent secured the story which re
suited in the SCOOP" 49,.
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14
TOO LATE
By l.. G. Nj. b.

$50 you won't marry me?'
Il do think it's sin, Jack, for you
to insist, when you know this is my
first season, and 1 have looked for
ward to at least two years more of
freedom
Every well, Dorothy, I won't say
another word. I trust your seasons
will be bright, and 1 will endeavor to
do my best to make them so.''
ooh, Jack, you are a dear Well
not be sweethearts for some time; We'll
pretend we're only chums.''
Dorothy Madden was considered the
prettiest girl in the state, tall and
slender, with laughing eyes, auburn
curls and chin and mouth that were
the envy of all the girls around.
Col. Maddn had at one time been
prominent in politics, but after losing
his wife, his health had failed and lit
tie by little his immense fortune had
disappeared: It was quite blow to
the family when they found they had
only their home and few thousands
left.
Jack Churchill was the heir Of his
uncle, Robert Vaughn, the Michigan
millionaire, and was much sought af-
ter.
Two gay seasons had passed. Jack
did everything to make Dorothy have
pleasant time. The many late even
ing dances, ETC., began to show on
Dorothy; she was thinner, her eyes
failed to have the brilliancy that at
one time made them so beautiful
And Jack had never in the entire two
years mentioned marriage to her.
Col. Madden, seeing the change in
his, daughter, and knowing that Jack
had not been to him to ask for Doro-
thy, supposed she was grieving. Call
ing his daughter to him one morning,
he said: Dorothy, does Jack seem
to be as attentive as ever, or have you
lost your. heart to another, and refused
the boy? You know, my dear, how
we're situated. Margaret is old enough
to come out You were a year her
senior when you made your debut, and
it isn't doing her justice. You must
make up your mind to marry and give
your sister an opportunity. / cannot
keep two daughters in society,"
Father" said Dorothy, two years
ago Jack asked me to marry him; 1
begged him to wait; j hated to settle
down; since then he has never mem
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14
THE ART OF GARGLlMG.
Not the Same Thing as the Process
Usually Followed,

Usually Followed.
The proper method of gargling is
thus described by writer in the Med
ical Record:
THE patient Cat first under the guild
ance of the physician) should sit we'll
back in a chair, take swallow of
water in the mouth and bend the head
as far back as possible.
"Now he must protrude the tongue
from the mouth (the tip of the tongue
may be grasped with a handkerchief
and in. this posture with protruding
tongue he must try to swallow the
water. The physician should control
the patients vain efforts-for it is i'm
possible to swallow under such condi-
tons.
''The patient has the sensation as if
he actually had swallowed. the water.
Now he must start to gargle, to ex-
hale air slowly. One can see plainly
the bubbling of the fluid in the wide
open pharynx.
after gargling thus for awhile the
patient is ordered to close the mouth
and quickly throw head and body for
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14

toned it, but I will try to look my
prettiest tonight and see what I can
do"
While Dorothy and her father were
talking in the library, Margaret was
in the summer house-but not alone!
Sweetheart, though you haven't
made your formal debut, you can mar
ry me and We'll tour the continent and
you'll have just as nice time as any
of the debutantes.
1t was Jack who was pleading, and
the girl he wanted this time was not
Dorothy, but her younger sister.
''Well, Jack, DEAR said Margaret,
"guess you're right. Dad hasn't the
money to keep us both in society, and
Dorothy won't marry. Come, we'll go
to the house and tell them the news"
There was quite a contrast between
the sisters; Dorothy, tall and fair,
Margaret, petite and dark, with large
gray eyes and the beautiful Madden
mouth.
Dorothy had just finished her talk
with her father, when the door sud
denly opened and Jack and Margaret,
hand in hand, stood in the doorway.
Father, Col. Madden" called both
of them, Twelve come to tell you,"
we're going to be married. - 3.
Col. Madden tried to hide his sur
prise, for he had thought it was Doro-
thy, not his little Margaret, whom
Jack wanted.
Margaret said her father, "you
couldn't have looked the world over
and have pleased me better. Jack"
he continued, "you can have her, but
remember, she is nothing but a child"
Dorothy in the meanwhile was try
ing to control her feelings, it seemed
as if her heart would break, for she
loved Jack dearly.
Were to be married on my birth
day. said Margaret, which is two
months from to-day.
II am glad you have appointed an
early date said Dorothy, "for my adj
vice to you is not to be foolish, like
was, and wait until it is-too late"
The Appeal. [volume] (Saint Paul, Minn. ;) 1889-19??, 1908-03-14
PECULIAR. CANDLES IN CHINA.

on sacrificial affairs, in large lanterns.
ETC., The candles are of a peculiar
Chinese shape, about fye-eighths Of
an inch at the top, tapering to less
than half an inch at the bottom, from
which the straw wick projects. The
hole in the straw gives an opportunity
to stick these on a small wire spike
which projects from the centerlof all
Chinese candlesticks, and which holds
the candle In an upright position.
Consular Reports. "a.