The St. Mary banner. (Franklin, Parish of St. Mary, La.) 1889-1931, 1908-09-19
GOODBY,
BLONDES!
Scientists Say You're Doomed to
Extinction In Six Centuries.

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Despite the use of peroxide and face
lotions, the blondes are passing. They
are getting scarcer every day, and
they will disappear entirely in six cen.
turtles, according TO the melancholy
prediction of science. There will be
no more fair compilations to light up
the Rialto, no more golden locks to
give contrast in the spangled ranks
OF the chorus. The world will be a
wilderness of brunette beauty, ranging
between the shades of coffee of btu
minous coal. Lovers will sigh and
dream Of the golden past. unless they
are quite blinded by their passion.
Artists will resign themselves to stud
les in black and white. A blond per.
son who appears in the street will
probably be arrested for drawing a
crowd. Even red whiskers will be an
extreme rarity, only exhibited in dime
museums, and the juxtaposition Of
white horses and red-headed girls will
be a miracle.
1t is frightful prospect, as sketch
ed by Frederick Boyle in THE Con-
temporary Review" and one that is
alleviated only by its comparative re.
mOteness. Humanity may be able to
think up some means of staving on
its brunette doom within the next six
hundred years. 1t might decide to
wear wigs or spend part Of each sea.
son at international bleacheries es.
tablished at the North Pole. The con-
crosses and parliaments of the world
might offer a reward for the discov-
cry of hair dye that won't run and a
face cream that won't taste like oleo-
margarine. Six centuries do give US
a little breathing time to take steps
against the descent of darkness.
The fair complexioned folk, it seems,
are not fitted to survive in these mod.
ern days OF quick luncheons and sub
ray travel They were all right to
quer and cOlonize the world when
1t was a healthy outdoor exercise,
out they can't compete with the brun-
cites now in the hustle and close quar-
ters of great cities. The whole Aryan
race is probably on the downhill. This
race includes the Hindus, Anglo-Sax-
ons, Afghans, Germans, Greeks, Per.
slams, Irish, French and other tribes,
who generally despise one another and
call the other kind "dagoes." The
whole lot Of them are losing their
blue eyes, pale cheeks and light hair,
as if the evolutionary makeup man
were preparing them for minstrel
show. The process did not begin yes
terday, but it has no doubt been accel- |
Grated with the speedy development |
OF modern conditions. The blondes |
were great fighters and migrators. The
HOmeric heroes had mostly golden |
locks, and the Athenians were probab- |
1y fair and blue eyed, like the early |
Venetisns and the so-called Moors who |
conquered Spain.
1t Is asserted that even in modern |
times the bodily structure correlated |
with fair complexion has proved it.
Self superior in colonizing enterprises.
resisting the evil influences of climate
and new environment generally. The
West Coast of Africa is not so fatal to
the red-haired white men as to brun-
cite types, and the same fact is said
to be noted in the Far East and tropi-
cal America. At home and in cities the
brunettes forge to the front Statistics
dealing with recruits in the Civil War
taken from the government records at
are interpreted to prove
that "the brunette type, as whole,
offers greater resistance to disease"
II city life is unsuited to the fair COM
plexioned. 1t Is obvious that the in
trend Of population from
country to town will lead to the disap-
pearance OF the weaker type and in
period Of time. Two Lon
don physicians. Dr. Shrubsall and DR..
Jones, have made observations from
4 thousand cases Of children in hos
pitfalls, and both series OF figures "show
4 marked predominance not only of
blonde traits but also of the pure
blonde type. indicating a greater
amouat OF disease" The bad air and
the foul stenches Of the slums. per-
haps the moral filth also. are too much
for the fair compilations. The brun-
cites are fittest to survive under this
unnatural state of things-New York
Tribune.
/
The World to Come.
A distinguished German scholar