davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
JOURNAL ENTRIES

1t Is not unusual for a man to be
discharged from a place for good be-
havior If it's a prison. s
X X
If a man is found who has never
spoken cross word to a wife he'll
turn out to be deaf and dumb and a
bachelor in the bargain.
X X
Some people are to be pitied but
none more so than the fellow who
wants to write an historical novel and
can't even read or write.
X X
A doctor must get a lot of satisfac-
ton when he is called on to attend a
member of an ice mans family. or
one in coal mans household.
n X y
There is plenty of disappointment
in store for the Americans who go
abroad expecting to find the foreign
peasantry singing and dancing as it
is ever pictured on the stage here.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
QUAKER NrEDITATToNs.

LFrom the Philadelphia Record
The composer who writes lullaby
is out for the rocks.
Some people couldn't make both ends
meet in an abattoir.
1t doesn't do to take the thought TOT
the deed in a real estate transaction.
The teeth of the gale demonstrate
that cold winds bite. but never Dark
The man who jumps at conclusions
doesn't always get there with ooth rect
The wise doctor always prescribes a
tonic for the nerves before he spends
in his bill ..1,a, 4,
o.-aI-, Wigwag-"I thought you look
ed rather put out
Tn cold weather you don't have to go
70 the postoff1ce to see people stamping
their feet.
Mrs Henpeckke-"oh. wish I had
heen horn a mani" Mr.. Henpeckke
(ferventiy)-"Amen!
RIobbs-"How did you get such a
..aost1v cold?" Slobbs-''I was out when
~ 1yas raining cats and dogs"
Wigg-"That fellow claims to be an
English nobleman travelling incog."
WaFe-'I thought he seemed as though
he mad wheels in his head.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

the ground and swung his right foot.
A great cheer went up which died
away suddenly in a groan. The ball
new high but it didn't go within fifty
feet Of either post.
Times up!' yelled the umpire.
Thornton felt that all Clinton was
disappointed beyond expression and
deeply ashamed of the showing he had
made after the college had boosted of
his prowess as a drop-kicker. He re-
manned in detected secIusion during the
intermission.
But when the whistle sounded again
he was like another man. Clinton had
the south. goal this time, and clearly the
quarterback saw a girl in orange
swinging pennant In the grand stand,
Already the throngs had forgotten his
f1uke in the hope of victory in the Sec
ond half.
At the kick-on Thornton sent the
pigslxin seventy yards down the field,
and then plunged into the game with
ferocious energy. He determined to
redeem himself or perish In the at
tempt.
Back and forth over the field surged
the teams while thousands shouted en-
couragement.
Neither eleven seemed able to break
down the defense of the other until
toward the end of the half, when Gin
ton began to come up the field steadily.
Thornton. his head clear as a bell,
was playing at frightful pace, giving
Darnau no time to catch it's breath
after each attack. But thirty yards
from the goal line, Darnall braced
itself heroicaIly and stood like a stone
wall
only one more minute to play"
called the umpire, and the crowds took
up the shout.
Thornton realized that in so short
There was only one hope of victory
another drop-kick for goal. While
only twenty yards away, the goal
posts were off to the left at an oblique
angle.
There was about one chance in a
dozen of putting the ball between
them, but Thornton took it. He stood
back of the line ready to call the sig
nal, and the DarnalI eleven, seeing 1t
was to be a kick, got ready to plunge
through and break up the play.
Then suddenly the quarterback.
looking directly between the goal
posts saw Leta in the grandstand in
an attitude of GREATNESS expectancy,
and he knew more than the game de-
pended upon his quickness and skill.
He stepped back a few yards and
with his eye riveted on the figure in
orange, he gave the signal in. clear
sharp tones, 'Three-Double two
The ball struck his outstretched
hands, and as he dropped it he shot
out his right foot. The next second
a big Darnall guard leaped over the
line and struck Thornton head-on,
sending him reeIng senseless twenty
feet from the spot where he was hit
But the big man was half a second
too late, for Thornton's toe had
caught the ball squarely and it went
flying straight as a bullet between the
goal posts and up into the grandstand
falling almost at Leta's feet!
A wild, deafening yell of joy broke
over the field, but the quarterback
did not hear It, Ten minutes later
when he came to, a girl was bathing
his forehead, and he caught the glow
of her bright brown dress The crowd
fell back.
Don't worry, Thornton, dear boy"
she whispered. at saw you looking at
me when you made that wonderful
kick, and I know now how much I
mean to you!'-(Copyrighte 1908 by
Associated Literary Pressl
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
ToPEKA,s CHAUTAUoUA.

There has been something of a re-
organization and amplification of the
forces under the management of
which the annual chautauqua is held
in this city. A mere glance at the
personnel of these is a sufficient
guaranty that this excellent institution
is in good hands and that it will be
promoted and developed to pro-
portions such as will make it we'll
worthy of the name it bears.
On the executive staff of the or
ganization are w. w. Mills, presi-
dent; Henry McAfee, vice president;
Mrs w. A. McCarter, secretary: c. G.
Nicholson, treasurer, and these off,
GERS with Miss Viola Troutman,
Reverend c. E. Holcombe. H B. How
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
rotten ad Looie Linkenfusser.

Wroten ad Looie Linkenfusser.
Greetings, Looie. / am slowly re-
cofering from der Thanksgiving. Hop
ing dis will find you der same. I re-
maineseffer, HANS.
p. Sd occurrences to me dot der
boss rekvires seferal printed sticks uf
dis rot, so will continuation NIT q
delicatessen on der abofe supchect, to
Wit: Thanksgiving.
Be i'd remembered, Lsooie, dot Ions
before you und myselluf arrifed on
der steerage, seferal blue-nosed duba
called pullgrims, pellicans, er
someding like dot. vas camping oop
in Maine er Massychawsetts. Dey vas
oudt uf someding to eat. und in hard
illness, but Won uf dem was oudt
prowling in der woods hunting fer
mushrooms, ven he opserfed a turkey
vot had der pip und vas unable to
Navigate. So he picked oop a club.
soaked der turkey on der neck. und
took him to camp. Ven der oder
vell-voteffer dey vos-saw der tur-
key, dey all hollerS ad vonces:
'TanksI' From vich We gedt Tanks
gazing. VI course Looie, circum-
stances and tings hating changed
skince den, We now eadt der turkey pc
caus We hat to and gif tanks der negst
day uf We lif through i'd. Den We
skearch for life turkey und
egspectorate in his face, chusd to
show him vot We think uf him. But
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
FROM OTHER PENS
M1oUELoN AND THE FLAG.

AMI A@<AI'
Since the United States entered
business as the protector of oppressed
peoples the industry of lending the
helping hand has thrived. If the
men of any foreign dependency in the
western hemisphere feel grievance
against their home government, the
natural recourse is to the United
States. This government needs de-
partment established to offer first aid
to the dissatisfied.
The small island of Miquelon Off the
coast of Newfoundland, which is nom
inally a possession of France, is the
latest applicant for the protection of
the Stars and Stripes. The people or
the city of ST. Pierre have a grievance
against the Paris government due to
conditions in the island schools. Riots
have ensued and a recent demonstra-
ton centerS around the United states
flag, which some enthusiast hoisted on
the street The whole matter is, of
course. presumption on the part of the
islanders The United States can
scarcely concern itself with the set
Element of the school questions in the
French islands of the Atlantic, how
ever strong a restraining influence it
NAV continue to exercise in the inter-
ests of law and progress in the two
Americas. In spite of the futility of
the MiQuelonian hopes, it is not un-
pleasing to know that the American
flag is recognized far and wide as an
emblem of liberty and guarantee of
freedom fro pression.-C1eveland
Plain Dealer.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

| ard, William H. Green, H. B. Larimerr
Frank Foster and Charles p. Adams
make up the board of directors. In
addition to these there is a new ad-
yisory board composed of r. G.
Kelley, F. P. Elmore. Reverend ]. p.
| White. Dr. r. s. Magee, Arthur Cap
per, Frank P. MacLennan, Mrs. Lee
Monroe, Mrs. ]. F. Cecil and Miss
Emma wallace.
With the chautauQua under the d.
rection of such ardent and able work.
ers as these it should soon blossom
out into an educational and recre-
alive institution that will rank among
the best of it's kind in the country.
There is plenty of room in Topeka
and the surrounding country for a
thriving undertaking of this kind If it
is made as valuable as it should be.
Topeka is one of the educational cen
tiers of this part of the country. It is
easily accessible from contiguous
territory in every direction and has at
least two most adequate parks where
summer meetings of this nature can
be held with all possible conveniences
and comfort. But one thing initiates
against this and other similar under
takings in Kansas. During the past
few seasons the state has been fairly
flooded with chautauquas. Every
town that has grown out of it's
swaddling clothes. and several that
have not. held institutions of this
character and many of them ought
never to have been dignified with the
name "chautauqua." Most of them
We're unable to come anywhere near
hni
lies the salvation of the larger chau-
tauquas in the state, the one which
is held at Topeka and the others
and logical places that are centrally
located and which have the proper
facilities to adequately handle such
undertakings. With so many chau-
tauquas being held the larger and bet
ter ones, In Topeka and elsewhere in
the state, practically had no people
to draw on but their own populations,
for every person more or less inter-
ested in chautauquas had one in his
door yard, as it were. However, these
smaller chautauquas cannot long
continue inasmuch as they are not
capable of paying expenses and the
result will be that all will be finally
eliminated and the larger ones in the
state will attract great crowds of out
of town folks and thrive accordingly.
With larger patronage they will be
able to increase their attractiveness in
all ways and bring to their lecture
platforms the best of talent in the
country. So all encouragement should
be given to the local philosophical
citizens who have undertaken to
make the Topeka chautauqua the sue
cess that it properly ought to be. The
time is ripe for it's development as
the smaller institutions of this kind
which have naturally held at home
their local enthusiasts in this kind of
work are certain to go under.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

Considerable talk is floating around
washington these days to the effect
that any Republican member of con-
gress who fights fair tariff revision
will gain the disfavor of Mr. Taft. As
a matter Of fact there is worse luck in
store for such an Individual He will
draw the wrath of the people of his
own constituency down on his head.
The people, the consumers, all over the
country have voted for an honest and
adequate tariff revision. If the men
they have sent to congress to do this
work for them are false to their duties
in this regard they need not expect to
be returned to national legislative lev
ais
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
THE oF,FTCE 10Y SCHOOL.


Dey're goin' e give US office boys a school
T. teach US t. be jerry to our woik;
Dey dopeS 1t out dat every kids a fool
Who don't palaver like Willie cloik.
Dey say we rubbers baseball scores too
much;
cheeky. rude:
Dey're goin' t teach US grammar woids
and such:
Dey want to make US each a highbrow
dude.
Dey say we whistles what de soubrette
sings:
We passes to de Ioidy cloiks much gun;
We shoots at craps and odder wicked
t'inRs-
Dey slam us good and plenty. calls us
tough!
Dey have a right to guess again-dey're
WrOnRi
We're hep on how to hold our jobs a
boss would give an ofrice boy $50
Who. four-flushed dat he was an angel
chile.
New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

There is some doubt as to whom the
latest and best Chicago joke falls on.
Mayor Busse had an argument with an
athletic club that pulled off a boxing
match after he had refused a municipal
license for it This angered his honor.
He was informed that several members
OF the club were wont to engage in
poker games at divers times. Now as
all gambling, except faro, roulette,
craps, and a few other minor games
are suppressed by the Chicago authori-
ties the mayor directed the police to
watch out for gambling in this particu-
lar athletic club. They did so and it
would seem that they did it all too we'll
For when they had counted the noses
of crowd of men they placed under
arrest for playing poker in the club,
two of them were found to be not only
dear chums Of Mayor Busse but also
members of the civil service commits
sion of the city and appointees of the
mayor. One of these commissioners is
charged with supervision over the po-
lice. In the poker gang were also
an Illinois state senator and an ex-
state senator. Now wasn't this awful
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
rFrom the chicago News. ]

LF'rom the Chicago News.
It's queer that well water makes
some people Ill.
Don't be a dead one until you get
ready to give the undertaken a job.
Winter is never so satisfying as
when we look forward to it in summer.
The astronomer may be down on his
luck even when his business is look
ing up.
Don't be ashamed to confess your
faults. Only fools and liars never
make mistakes.
The good die young, but bald man
isn't necessarily bad because he has no
occasion to dye
After man makes up his mind not
to criticise his neighbors he has to
keep a pretty strong curb on himself.
A rich bachelor prefers to spend his
own money, but a poor one is usually
willing to share his poverty with some
woman
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
A JUST REBUKE.

drunkard following graduation and has
since reformed is going about the coun-
try preaching that colleges are respon-
sibIe for the crime in the world. he
draws his conclusions from the small
minority of college men who have done
MS he has done rather than from the
great majority who are filling useful
places in the world. 1t is such twaddle
as this that disgusts sensible men
with the sensation-loving evangelist
Hutchinson News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

After worrying over the matter for
some time the state executive council
has decided not to provide new desks
and chairs for the members of the
house of representatives. This need
not be considered as disquieting news
for desks and chairs do not play much
of a part in the making of laws, even
If some of them do take on the form
of statutes that have all the earmarks
of having been made with wooden in
teIlects.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
REFLECTIONS OF a BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.I

IFIUII tIID NC" u n 4 Ipsb-I
Money can gid a good many vices up
to look like virtues.
The reason a man will give his seat
to a pretty girl in a street car is he
won't to an old woman.
A mans idea of being generous to his
wife is taking her on trip where she
doesn't want to go.
A certain kind of woman can be glad
abe married a man so as to be able to
tell him she is sorry she did.
People seem to think 1t adds enor-
mousiy to their Importance to lie about
how much more they paid for thing
than they did.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

Hunters report that quail are abund-
ant this season in these parts. But
from the number of hunting licenses
which have been issued from the
Shawnee county clerks office alone, it
Is safe to say that there is hardly a
quail for every hunter. The quail
must have great satisfaction, though,
in the realization of the fact that the
mere possession of hunting license
does not make a man an-expert hunt
err If 1t did the last quail would have
piped its swan-song some time ago,
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

Probably the most remarkable feat
ure of the great international automo-
bile race at Savannah, Ga, is found in
the fact that no fatal accidents occur
red during it. From the speed obtain
ed under the conditions which prevail
ed every driver of car in the con-
test took his life in his hand and
waged quite as hard a fight against
grim death as he did for success and
Misunderstanding time
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

Mayor King of Atchison has pre-
scented some figures to show that the
city does not need any revenue from
illicit joints and saloons in order to
keep its finances from running behind.
Thus has another black eye been
handed to those who insist that a de-
fance of the prohibitory law is need
ed to make a city self-supporting
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

Concerning the surgical operation
which is to be performed on President
Castro, of Venezuela, the Chicago Tri-
bune expresses the hope that the physf-
clans will not overlook the opportunity
to cut out his crouch. And in the ex-
preston of this hope everyone will join.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

Kansas historians are here in force
for a couple of days. They must not
be COMPOUNDED, however, with the real
makers of Kansas history. They are
merely the cooks who preserve the
history which has been made. And as
It is with all good cooks, their ser
vices are most valuable.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

Not an exceedingly satisfying COM
mentary on the civilization as 1t exists
IN this country today is found in the
government statistics showing that di-
vorce is now proportionately two and
one-ha1f times as common as it was
forty years ago. Rather do they tell
of a condition in society for which the
whole of it should be ashamed.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS

Pittsburg. Pa, has finally something
10 its credit. 1t is $50 years old, and
this would seem to be quite old enough
for 1t to know better in a variety OF
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
THE FARM-LIFERs.

While there has been a disposition in
some quarters to disparage and benttle
the commission appointed by the pres1-
dent to study the ways and means OF
making farm life more profitable and
pleasant it is worthy of note that farm
ers' organizations and farmers journals
have taken just the opposite view. CRIT
les of the movement have assumed the
attitude that the farmers are doing very
we'll of their own volitfon. ana that tney
do not need anybody to tell them what
thew need and how to improve their
condition While it Is true that the
Farmers generally are blessed with an
abundance of good, common sense, they
are not ayerse to receiving nelpLuI IN
formation and sensible ADVICE. Tney
welcome profitable suggestions. That Is
why they buy newspapers masdzlneS
and farm journals.
There are many persons VINO speclal-
ize with respect to farms ana farming;
These persons give the oetter part ol
their lives to the study of one or two
Subjects. Naturally the scope OF their
information is fuller and rlcner tnan
could possibly be acquired by the aver
age farmer. To have the penent OF
their studies and conclusions Is q poV ~
to the farmers, who are ever Wiling TO
he told and shown details and reasons
that they do not know.-SaVannan
News.
BUSINESS BATTING POLITICIANS.
one of the benefcent effects of the
elections this year is the new and vivid
1irht thrown upon the difference be-
tween the Square deal ana the
s.muck rake in politics. The first Is
as strong and popular as ever. Its
work Will go on and on without limit
The holy war for justice in all the re-
lations Of the government toward ITS
subjects is not ended. 1t will never
cease until right shall prevail every
where in all things. But the politicians
who trade upon the supposed envy OF
the rich and powerful by the poor and
weak. and selfishly seek to inf1ame
class feeling for their own personal
gain have not looked so small and
Feeble and contemplate in many years
as they do now.
the measure of horde of demagogues
who have attacked and denounced
business men and business methods.
not to promote the public welfare or
do Justice, but to further their own
ambitions The sham reformers. the
baiters of the successful and the pros
porous merely because of their success
and their prosperity, are at last re-
duced to something like their true
littleness in the estimation OF the
country.-CIeveland Leader.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

Id ISIS Thanksgiving day, chusd der
same, pecaus Guffener Hook sayss
SO. From vich, Looie, you may CAD
der dot i'd iss not vot ISIS, vot counts,
but vot vas. Id ISIS nod pecaus Ut
anything recendtly pulled ouf dot We
shoot ouf our finger on Chuly der
four-spot Id ISIS because uf
someding vot somebody else's great
en-den-some grandfather dit to some
visitors vot vas nod invited Hence,
Looie, i'd ISIS der after-vile vot coundts.
Berhaps, Looie. in a hondret years.
der skitizens will hat to go mitoudt
someding to eat on Skatterday, chused
pecaus you was broke und couldn't
purchase anything on dot day lasd
week. Der ISIS no accounting fer
hollidays-nod efen fer our own
Charles K.
Hafing holdings else but baked tur-
key in my sysdem. I will dressing-I
mean clothes-remaining es efrer.
HANS.
Misder Hobson, der kisser, hat
notified Misder Rosinfelt dot he wants
der fleet lefd in der Pacific. From
vich, Won vot knows anything aboudt
Misder Rosinfeldt may gadder dot
der feet will return ad vonce to der
Atlantic.
Hating hat some acquaintance NIT
Kansas magazine effordts, wish to
warn der publishers uf der coming
periodical: You candt complete NIT
der eastern vons unless you run a
serial such es Durango Dan. de
Dangerous Dago," er Der Mitnikht
Mystery, err der Milkman's Murder
Case" We ISIS a intellectual bunch.
und want der besd.
Chon Dee Rockinghller iss CEN
sured py few fer forgetting to anser
some uf der kvesdions asked by der
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

prostitution. However, we muSd
remember dot hiss memory iss very
poor. He forgot to pay dot
$29,0OO,0OO.
Attorney Cheneral Chackson sayss
he ISIS opposed to a law making i'd a
penitinchery Intense to sell boos.
Vich ISIS right. If such vas der case,
Attorney Cheneral Chackson would be
oudt uf a chob.
Misder Cooper uf Topeka iss hereby
warned againsd a larche, fat lady init
der matrimonial bug. Missus Gum
ness vas seen in Kansas Cidy, only Sc
miles away.
Der Texas Teller vich came here TO
Tell us How, might haf safed der
railroadt fare. Midder Hook Um-
ported a chendleman from Uglyhoma
a year ago to dell us how to run dis
country.
Gatun Dam, on der Panymaw canal
hat seddled, owing to recendt rains
But I candt hellup wondering uf der
on der chob refer to Gatun.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28

Chon Dee Rockingfller iss CEN
sured by a few fer forgetting to anser
some uf der kvesdions asked by der
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-28
A SATURDAY SERMON.

Understanding is a we11spring of III
unto him that hath it. Proverbs xvi:22.