davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19
The WEATHER.
Oregon. Washington and Idaho
Increasing cloudiness; probably rain.
HOMEMADE AUTocRATs

OF ali the "crats" known TO mod
ernity the democrat, the plutocrat'
the bureaucrat, all down the line, the
autocrat Is the most to be feared,
and especially if he be homemade!
For in the making Of an autoerat'
,hat Is a political autocrat, there IS
always the danger Of coneeding too
much TO the wisdom and craft ot
the man 50 favored, as well as the
almost unacceptable evil that he viii
sooner. or later, transgress, or ex-
ceed, the trust confded to him, his
makers aiding and abetting the fol-
" and the wrong.
The autocrat himself is not to
blame for his creation; that is a
matter. peculiarly Of misplaced, or
miscaleulated, public tolerance or
public intolerance, as the case may
be. Yet, under any and all eircum-
stances, the setting up Of the do
minion and influence Of solitary
individual to deal with the values
and franchises OF the many, is a
bIunder on its face, and menace at
all times,
Astoria has not many Of the ilk;
she has a few that We wot Of, and
one, anyhow. But she is getting
next" to the danger Of the situation,
and viii retrieve it in the only way
left her; at the polls.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19
IT'S A GOOD THING TO REFER

to the reputation OF a store before
making any important purchases
therein. Before you buy is the time
to look up the matter, Ask questions.
Find out il the store you intend pa.
tronizing keeps its pledges. Be sure
that you learn If 1t sells the qualities
Il claims; If it treats is customers
honestly and fairly, then, il satisfied,
buy there. Do all the asking you
wish about us among your friends,
and that you will result in your com
ing here regularly.
Come in and see our $i2s Kitchen
Range
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19
.CROFOOT HAS RIVAL,
Promoter Of Industrial Enter.
prlses Finds He's an Amateur.
TOLD or SOME GOOD THINGS
What Caller Had 20 Offer People
With Money Seeking an Investment,
-Four Hundred Fer Cent Ia Dividends
on Ss,0oo00o Capital,

tcopynght laS ey I, c, Meclarel
Major Crotoot, grand promoter OF
thrty.two .: the graudest enterprises
on the face o. the earth, sat In his of,
Gee dead broke He had two keys n
his pocket, but Rot silver In cash
His landlady had given him the cold
hand that morning, and bis office rent
was due, aud he was expecting the
landlord every minute, lie was won
lerlng II the last sucker in America
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19

aspiration and general up-lift along
all-American lines, than which there
is nothing better than she can
follow.
Go to it. La Belle! You'll get
there alrightll
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19

tCcme IN with NE and learn how to
promote, You don't know'thc \ II 9
Of 1t YET. ono of the very poorest com.
panics ! have is the Arabian Celery
aud ltorSerNdlsh syndicate, We pro
pose 10 buy a,Oo00oo acres of desert
land aud supply the world with celery
and horseradlsh The dividends are
positively guaranteed at "a, and yet we
don't think much Of It. We shan't try
very hard 10 push the stock | could
give you the vice presidency az a salary
Of $4,000 q year hut don't want 70
see you starve to death"
The major turned pale, opened hls
eyes very wide and began 60 breathe
hard,
"A promoter who can't see an even
100 per cent dividends In IN enterprise
should drop t. continued the caller
''lt's one horse, It's wasting his time
organized the Universal Gas Saving
company and figured out Il would pay
90 per cent dividends, Looked 20 me
like a big thug IN my then eallow
DAYS. hnt laugh al Il now, u cut gas
bills down from ~ a mouth to 10 cents
and Is stu doing 4, bot the stockhold
ers are kicking for greater dividends
Ninety per 1at looks Ike sklmmllk 20
them The secretary resigned last
week. and could give you his place at
$4,000 A year, but know you'd refuse
It. You would consider Il small pota-
toes"
Great Scotty whispered the major
as he leaned forward In his chair
after the Gas Saving company was
out saw was wasting my time, !
then originated aud promoted the Great
Sahara Fruit and Vegetable company,
Twenty million acres OF land to grow
strawberries IN summer and sweet 20
tatOes 10 The fall. The enterprise IL
referred TO In the press ms colossal
Kings aud emperors have written 10 ns
commendIng II, We let the Roths1hilds
IN on the ground tloor, and they were
tickled to death. aud yet when we
came TO figure up the dividends they
didn't 20 but l05 was so dIsgustcd
with the thing that came near drop
ping out OF the promoting business |
dld think OF turning the presidency
over 10 you at a salary ot 100000 n
year. but know you'd refuse H. 1t
isn't up 20 a man Of your caliber You
don't want to fiddle taddle With trlhes"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19

While Astoria has been improved
whole lot by way Of street build
ing, she has not been altogether i'm
mune from the occasional "sting."
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19

Bear in mind, you voters. that the
most conservative public debt, as
we'll as the most reckless. begets its
own burden of interest, which must
be paid, along with the principall
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19
started NeM cempany.

The major opened his mouth and
tried TO speak. but words would not
come.
Then I originated the worldwide
lemon squeezer Up to that date any
one who wanted to squeeze n lemon
had to call ln the hired man or place
II under n board and stand on t. Hit
ting a lemon with a sledge hammer
wasted part OF the juice, and some
times II dodged the blow, and the cat
or one OF the children was killed. I
saw what was needed and Invented
the squeezer Our FIRST order was for
a million The sultan Of Turkey or.
deFed half n million right on the reel.
Couldn't keep mp with our orders and
can't now. but what do you suppose
the dividends arel Just a measly 100
per cent. Rockefeller and Morgan sold
their stock IN dlgust after the first
year, believe that few widows and
ministers still cali It a fairly good
thing. but think Of fnanciers like US
being satisfied with such dividends.
could Offer you
"Yes, yes; you could offeF me-
Il could offer you the vice presiden.
ey and a salary Of $4,000 a year for
life, but don't want to insult you /
must look for some cheap skate"
"I-I might take ltF' groaned the
major.
Nonsense! You take a cheap thing
like that and humiliate yourself to the
earth! won't be a party to 1t. |
have now finally got a thing worth
looking at-worth investing In. Have
you heard Of the Universal Instructive
Bedstead companyT
"N-no"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19
Behind the Times.

BEHIND the Tln1es.
you hayen'tl Why, you are away
behind the times. Thought you kept
better track OF things financial. My
dear sir, you must have heard that
there is an electric current sweeping
through the earth from north to
s0uthT"
"Yes."
"And that all human, beings should
lie with their heads to the north In or.
der that they may first receive this
current on the back OF the neckr
Yes"
"Well, there you are. You 60 to
hotel and the bedsteads may stand
east and west. The landlord doesn't
care copper for your health, Ny
instructive bedstead instinctively turns
Itself north and south, no matter where
placed, Keeps the current flowing
from head to heel Hotels have got to
have 'em or 90 out Of business. We
start on a capital Of $5,OOO.000, and the
lowest we can figure the dividends Is
400 per cent Some Of Us think they
will reach 800 The principle can be
applied IL bunks on Pullmans ana
aboard steamers. Babys crib and
family lounge have got TO head to Tie
north. VIII save million human lives
a year and put 10000 drug stores out
Of business. could let you in on the
ground floor and pay you salary Of
quarter Of a million dollars a year as
secretary. but won't insult you, You
have probably got something much
better on hand Ia. ia, major ! must
be going"
And when the man had departed the
major laid his head on the desk and
wept He was failure, and he real.
ized It. NJ. QUAD.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19

More proof that Lydia II, Pink"
hams Vegetable Compound saves
woman from surgical operations.
Mrs. S. A. Williams OF Gardiner
Maine, writes,
Al was d great sufferer from female
troubles and Lydia Il. rinkham's Vcg,s
table Compound restored me 20 hcalth
IN three months, alter my physician
declared that an operation was abso
lutely necessary"
Mrs. Alyina Sperllng, OF iSl Cley.
bourne Ave, Chicago, Ill.,, wrltes'
~ suffered from female troubles, a
tumor and much Inflammation. Two
Of the best doctors in Chicago decided
that an operation was necessary To save
my life. Lydia Il. Pinkhams Vegetable
Compound entirely cured me without
an operAtion."
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19

A silent tongue makes good
friends in home campaign, as some
people win discover before many
days!
Astoria will be on par with the
best OF them after January first and
her telephone system is perfected
How much Of a public debt can
the city of Astoria stand. anyway
Seattle had 10000 people to bear
the cost Of her seawall; and they
wont be through paying for it until
there are a million people there to
take hand in its final obliteration!
Astoria has a claim in for recog-
milton as music center that cannot
safely, nor logically, be denied!
It was discovered, at the Phil
harmonic concert on Tuesday night
that the acoustic properties OF the
new A. A. A. A. hall were almost
perfect
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19
FAcTs FOR SICK WOMEN.

For thirty years Lydia Il. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been tho
standard remedy for female Ills,
and has positively thousandso OF
women who have been troubled with
displacements, Inflammation, ulcera.
ton, flbroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, hackache, that bear.
ipg.down feeling, ilatulency, indlgcs
.ion,dixEiGess, ,6rnervous prusttalldu
Why don't you try itg
Mrs. Plnliham inyites all sick
wuaicn tc wr te her tng q ly'
She has Il lSd thpNt~aNds Y,
heaith rNs. 1.tan, NiAst
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19

How much of a public debt can
the city Of Astoria stand, anyway
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-11-19

was dead when there was step in the
corridor, aud his half open door was
pushed open and stranger entered
ana nuarlad.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-09-13

Now they raced neck and neck The
girls body rocked as though she urged
Chinook And on the bay q monkeylile
figure c-Ouched as mOtlOnleSS as though
the man slept \ hundred yards away
their hOofs beat with fierce lnpetuOslty
side by side, they galloped as team.
hinnaird felt the smothered crush OF
bodies as men. tensed by the struggle,
closed II silence about him No one
spoke They scarce seemed 70 breathe,
50 still the suspense held them.
There was . curious sense OF long drawn
OUT time II his mind as i bay and chest
nut had gaToped for ages, and would
galIOu on and on Ike creatures II a dream
But The thunder OF boots now churned
The air Ike huge drum He could see
The blood red gleam of spread nostrlls
that sucked ar the air The girl lace
showed drawn and blauched, her bps
--v1-CheG. as though she called TO Chinook
10 gallop, Ealop.
Suddenly. the brown. W-lrkled face OF
the man on PipestOne showed above the
lean reaching head OF the bay. HIS shoH--
de-s heaved. An arm swept upward.
There was the suakelike wrlthe OF a qu1rC
IN the air. and surely the black legs OF the
bav pounded 1t the turf yard II front
of the other.
Cad shes beatenl Chris. my girl,
II 100 PAD MS l- l. Is -.
1lalrd 5 bps II Whisper. lie: ne hell MS
breath as the glrI drove al = Ll-ll1'1>'
A rFv strides a slight cutting down
- Of the other lead. and then, with
5--7 -, =, - s,arr 1,rvvet.r7
'- -o11 2-i - nos lr~oss
the course
Shril above the r1sln& Gl41lor SOUNDED 1I
me Eolce OF NeEGse- IT, > - -.
On Won sollepods I4He M 5 IN VI, -
lore / shoot mat Sopiiel Oh
Nobody paid any allel-lIol- ~ -, ne
cited CaEuse- 1t was Just me pll --tI'e,-
thoughts that surged through Inc "-lli'I7
81 al Stand On .,--r.. 49,.
Mayo pushed ms way ll-lo''7 .l-l l5is -;
moi OF troubled men ana ,L9z -, I'LL
la1rd- hat moss 2oI i, Judge
P1pestone won
Guess that 5 correct. hootena{ SUD
stantiated. he red moss Jus showed
out his bps, a.. sor1eT won ny the sh!n 81
ms teeth. he speaker Iau3Ile'l q l--I- III
less cackle al ms own lulL-oi- ,-.L.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05
SPANKlTORIUM FOR
SMALL OFFENDERS
Judge Suggests and Moth
e[ActS.

NEW YORK, July 4-jSpeciaD -
Spankitorium No. I became an iate-
grail part of the children's court to-
day. Judge Olmsted who invented
this new branch of special sessions,
ordered it shifted from an obscure
corner of a hallway to a room Of
it's own, and gave directions that it
should be adorned in becoming style.
Two smart tables were moved into
it and several study chairs capa-
BILE of Withstanding any strain were
placed in stategic points.
Light and airy is Spankitorium No
l. It's ceiling is high and its dimen-
sions, which are - by 20 feet, give
abundant space for maneuVering
Plain to. the point of severity are its
furnishings, and not even the furni-
ture is padded In one corner i S a
square top desk, while the central
ornament is a long, shiny table. There
are straps and rulers lurking about,
but they are deity concealed until
the time arrives for putting them in
TO commission.
Able Epstein was the first often
der to test the new spankitorium. He
had been caught by a policeman at
a moving picture show with his fin
gers, which are very light, in sus-
picious proximity to the pockets of
several frequenters of the place.
The policeman who apprehended
Able was not prepared to prove a
case of pocketpicking against him,
but he was of the opinion that the
boy ought to be sent out of the zone
of temptation The mother said Able
was a good son and could have done
no wrong, for surely he was not alb
sent more than half an hour Able
conceded He said he had gone only
to see the pictures, and that he was
nervous and could never keep his
fingers still, anyway.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05
SUICIDED THRICE
FOR 3 SWEETHEARTS
None of Them Knew His
Devotion.

HAZELHURST, MISS. July A.
(SpeciaD Unable to decide which Of
three women he really wanted to mar
~, Eli Hood, IL years old, a boarder
at the farmhouse of Eli Graves, eight
miles from Hszelhurst, decided tha5
the best way out of the difficulty was
TO commit suicide in such a way that
each of the women would know he had
killed himself for her.
For Miss Carrie Nelson, Is years
old, he swallowed sixty grains of
morphine; for Mrs Eva Spellman,
aged 30, he drank four ounces of laud-
anum, and for Miss Henrietta Nc
Donald, aged Is, he put the muzzle OF
a shotgun in his mouth and pulled the
trigger with his toe
Beside his dead body was found on
table a paper wrapper that contain
ed the morphine On it was scrawled
For Carrie" The empty laudanum
bottle stood on a slip Of paper on
which was written: For Eva" An
empty envelope on which a picture Of
a shotgun bad been drawn, was in
scribed Henrietta"
Except that he had been acting
queerly and that he had become de
spondent Graves said he saw nothing
in Hoods behavior that indicated that
he contemplated self destruction
On one occasion Hood complained
Of his inability to get married, and
when Graves joldngly referred to his
three sweethearts he shook his head
sadly and said that was where his
trouble was. II can't make up my
mind" he said
Hood owned a small piece of prop
erty near here which prevented the
necessity of his working for a living
year ago his older brother commit
ted suicide, and from him Hood inner
tied another small piece OF property.
No one of the young women would
admit that Hood had paid her special
attention, and none of them knew,
each said, that Hood wanted to marry
her or anyone else.
If he was SO Iauch in love with US,
he certainly concealed the fact well.
and it is wonderful that he did not
show any partial.ty,' said Mrs. Spell
man He never breathed a word OF
love to me-"
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05
p. B. WILLIFORD.

bilities present themselves which
are worthy of more serious consid-
Grafton
Signor Caminadas scheme is to
construct what might be called wa
ter ladder over the mountains with a
long series of locks and canals. The
canal is composed of two parallel
tubes or channels, one of which is
for barges running down the noun
tains and the other for barges climb
ing over. In the locks the barges are
raised and advanced by the power
OF incoming water, the vessels being
Kept straight by two sheaves run
ming on rails above and below. When
the canal has to pass through a
mountain it runs in two tunnels in
elined in opposite directions. The
key Of the scheme is the fact that the
water descends in both tubes. but
crosses from one to the other alter
nately, so that when a barge des-
cends with the sinking water in one
tube, another barge is rising with the
same water, which necessarily rises
IN the lower section of the other
further water from the main reser-
yolr carries the ascending barge to
the top, and the descending boat en-
ters the next tubular section. The
canals will be constructed of masonry
and closed with iron gates. The
cost of such scheme is estimated at
$500, 600 900.
i. The running sheave and rail to
keep the barges in direct course
the locks.
: Canals with sloping bottoms, the
upward passage divided into locks,
ne downward passage free for des-
cending barges.
3. Ends of a mountain tunnel with
It's supply basins and boats ascending
and descending.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05
FOR SALE.

200 acres level land. Rents 5 bales
cotton. Price $1,000 acre
4-room house, with garden. $1,000.
Rent, Sl20
5-room house, in good condition;
100000
Groom house, close in, $1,750.00.
Rent 10000 This is a safe invest
ment or pleasant home.
100 acres, 8 miles of r. R. $85O00.
200 acres, half mile of R. R. station.
Groom house, near church and
schools, red land.
265 acres, one mile of r. r. station.
4-room house, and two tenant houses,
running water, healthy and pure
drinking water
Real estate is the safest of all in
gestments.
If you are looking for an invest
ment or home come to see me.
p. B. WILLIFORD.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05

Buy your silyerWare from Thos. L
Bell the jeweler.
Mr. and Mrs. Roy S. Bell Of Albany
are guests of Mr. and Mrs. J. f. D.
Ship, on Furlow street
Call up Loying's Stables. phone 81.
for baggage transfer. If
Mr. o. B. Chester, Jr.. Of Dawson,
was here yesterday, among the many
visitors coming.
Full line switches, nets, rats, pom
padours, puffs, just received Mrs.
May Edwards, 42015 Lamar st.
W H. and K. H. McGregor of AL
bany We're among others from that
little city in Americas yesterday.
Mr. S. A Bullock of Eufaula, was
a business visitor in Americas yester-
day morning.
Mr. and Mrs. R. D. Fox OF Darien,
are visitors in Americas. stopping at
the Hotel Windsor.
Miss Julia Query leaves today for
Mobile TO join her sister, Miss Marie
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05
CLIMBING ALPS BY
MEANS OF BOATS
popular Mechanics

An italian engineer named Signor
Caminda proposes to connect Genoa
with Lake Constance and float bar
ges over the Apprentices and the Alps
by ship canal project more stupen-
dous and seemingly more impracti-
cable than the widest dreams of
imaginative and impractical brains.
Yet Europe is impresser, and the
scheme has won the support of the
famous engineers Senator Columbo.
president of the Polytechnic of Lomb-
ardy. At first view the idea is start
Ting enough to make the most san
guine thinkers become skeptical, but
as It unfolds and takes shape posi-
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05
Here is Relief for Women

Mother Gray. a nurse in New York.
discovered an aromatic, pleasant herb
cure for wOmen's ills, called AUSTRIA
LlAN-LEAF'. 1t is the only certain
regulator. Cures female weaknesses
and backache. Druggists or by mail
soc. Sample FREE Address, The
Mother Gray Co, LIE Roy, N. Y.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05
SOCIAL AND PERSONAL LIFE
Weather forecast for today: Show
Org

Weather forecast for today: Show
erS.
Mrs. ". D. Miller Of Jacksonville, is
here upon a visit to her parents, Mr.
and Mrs H. D. Watts.
Wanted, experienced saIeslady. Adj
dress P. 0. Box 102 5-tf.
Mrs. w. T. Glover OF Jacksonville,
is visiting relatives in Americas, her
former home
There will be another big picnic
at Myrtle Springs on Monday, July
9Th Plenty Of music and baseball
and ;
Mr.. Clarence Price Of Bronwood is
spending a day or two in Americas,
his former home
For fresh grapes, telephone $40
or call at 332 Forsyth st. I'm
Mrs. James A. Davenport and child
rem leave Monday for Saluda, n c.,
for the summer
Mr.. E. ]. Webb is periodically
spending the holiday in Americas,
where life is a perpetual fourth of
July for him.
Dr. Brooks Ship has come from
Moultrie for the holiday and has as
his guests Messrs. Howard Ashburn
and Viii Yereen.
Mrs. Henry Lanier leaves tomorrow
for Hendersonville, y. c., to join her
mother Mrs. Gilbert. of Albany, for
the summer.
| Miss Elizabeth Hollis is spending a
month at the lovely home Of her sis
ter, Mrs Frank Lanier, while Mrs
Hollis is in Nashville
For Sale.
One hogshead and one barrel mo-
| lasses to highest bidder. Call and
! see me. II. 2. EVERETT,
Agt Seaboard, Americas, Ga.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05
Arrivals.

From Savannah, Augusta,
Atlanta and Macon. 80 % p N
From Lockhart, Dothan, AL
bany, Troy and Mont'ery. 40 40 p m
From Lockhart, Dothan, Al
bany, Troy and Mont'ery. Il 81 p m
From Atlanta and Macon. 80. Y OF p ~
From Augusta, Savannah, At
Ianta and Macon -......... IS 80 a m
From Columbus and interms-
Gdiate points. .............. II 80 p nj
From Colum bus, and
Intermediate points ...... it'll 30 N
From COlum bus and interme-
-..diate points ... ..... tI2:Ot p n
From Alba ~ ...-....... 4:4O m
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05

The announcement that Mr.. Bryan
is worth $4,000 comes just in time
to kill the rumor that he will con-
tribute 100000 to the campaign fund
this year.-Washingt Post.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05

The photograph records loaded with
Mr. Bryan's speeches will doubtless
do the best they can, especially if
Mr.. Bryan cans the best he has
Washington Post.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05
Ask for Aliens Foot-Ease

A powder for swollen, tired. hot
smartlng feet. Sample FREE Also
ffee Sample OF the Foot-Ease SAM
tafy Corn-Pad, new invention. Adj
dress Allen ). Olmsted, LIE Roy, N. Y.
Americus times-recorder. [volume] (Americus, Ga.) 1891-current, 1908-07-05
His Defiance Wilted

Able, defiant and scornful, was
taken to the spankitorium in the
room above. A probation officer
kindly laid the young offender across
his knees and handed Mrs Epstein
a ruler Maternal tenderness sud
denly vanished, and with a forceful,
if not a practiced, hand she punish
ed Able until the tears flowed and his
small thin legs writhed in air He
managed to get one hand free, and
got it within range of the rain Of
blows only to find that the move
increased his sorrow. Tears coursed
in channels down his cheeks, and
his collar was high on his neck when
Able once more faced the court His
cries had drowned out the roar of the
elevated, and he was still sobbing like
the sea about the Battery wall at
low tide when he returned