davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Well Acquainted.

Gayboy-Well, your father has con-
scented to our marriage. Aren't you
surprised?
Miss Willing-Oh, no! You see,
papa doesn't know you as well as I do.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13

If you have Catarrh, rid yourself
of this repulsive disease. Ask DR..
Shoop of Racine, Wis, to mail you
free, trial box of his DR.. Shops
Catarrh Remedy. A simple, single
test, will surely tell you Catarrh
truth well worth your knowing.
Write to-day. Don't suffer longer.
All Dealers.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
One Girls Way,

Mayme-Grayce is always doing
something sensational for the purpose
of attracting attention"
Edyth-What is it Now?
Mayme-Why, she wore her old hat
to church Easter Sunday.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
The Popular Hit,

Towne-That fellow seems to wear
an air of Importance.
Browne-Naturally; he's the author
of an air of Importance. He wrote
kiss Me for My Angel Mothers
Sake"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
The ConqeniaI Orchard.

Mrs. Cohenstein-Vot ISIS it, Pepper?
Vot makes you look so happy?
Mr.. Cohenstein-Sh-h-h! / hat just
been talking to der gardner, und he
tells me dot our peach crop dis year
will be total failure.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Shameful Waste,

Thirsty Thomas-Corn is all right
fer maxim booze, but dere ought t. be
a law agin wastin' it.
Hungry Wastin' booze?
Thirsty Thomas-Naw; agin wastin'
corn. Dis paper seq dey are maxim
soap out NV it now"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
The New Midway,

Gunner-Going to Jamestown this
year, old man?
Guyer-Yes, and I am going to take
in the famous "Warpath," but 1 will
watch my P's and Q's.
Gunner-Hm! You better watch
your KS and VS..
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Rev,nd Bounds.

He-You are too extravagant in your
functions. Look at the bill have
just received for your last one.
She-Oh. no, my expenditures are
strictly temperate. You see for your.
self that is the tea-total amount.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Swell style.

Eva-And you don't object to riding
in a crowded car?
Katharine-Not at all.
Eva-But don't you know the crowd
ing and showing will disarrange your
hair?
Katharine-Oh, l don't mind that.
When l get off people think have a
genuine automobile tousle.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Not EuIlX Explained.

There is at least one glorious thing
about May. There are five pay days
in it.-Toledo Blade.
But what is your pay day, Mr.
Blade? Is it Wednesday, Thursday or
Friday?
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Exactly.

SIN foot race it is the best pair Of
legs rather than the best head that
wins"
"And therein is a foot race like a
chorus"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
The Summer Girl.

'The feeling he has for her is mere
ly calf love-"
"How do you know"
Gle never saw her except at the
geashore."
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Of Ratiocination.

Knicker-A boys mother always
finds out when he has been swimming.
Bocker-And yet folks never know
when man takes Wall street
plunge.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13

Farmers, mechanics, railroaders,
laborers rely on DR.. Thomas Elec-
trio Oil. Takes the sting out of cuts,
burns or bruises at once. Pain can
not stay where it is used.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
His Mistake.

Oliver-Two boys started out in life
as bootblacks. One of them made
success.
Hobson-And the other one?
Oliver-The other one kept his own
shoes BACKED.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
ReNerSed.

First Fly-That molasses must have
had alcohol in it.
Second Fly-Why?
First F1y-Well, about all zisb cell
ing does ish t. fall down on me all the
time.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
LIS Size.

ct see they are going to photograph
souls now"
"Well, if they photographed old man
Skinfint's I'll bet they won't be able
to tell it from a pin head"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
What Could He Say?

"And will you let my daughter have
her own way the same as 1 do when
you are married?
mo; but she will come as near hav'
ing it as your wife does"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Between Friends.

Aurelia-How many proposals did
you have last summer, dear?
Dissatisfaction, dear.
Aurelia-What a terrible persistent
fellow that Tommy Noodles must be!
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Wicked Cities.

What became of Nineveh?" asked
the Sunday school teacher.
ct was destroyed" said Johnny,
promptly.
"And what became of Tyre?"
"Punctured"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
The Retort Courteous.

Lawyer-see here, you were all tan
gled up in that story of yours on the
stand. You're not good liar.
Prisoner know it. That's tho
reason / got you to defend me.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
E asY.

"How did Virgins manage to get a
reputation for being so wiser"
"By combining himself to two words.
He waits until one of his superiors
expresses an opinion and then says,
That's So.'"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Quite So.

at is suggested that the foreign
count whose American wife left him
exhibit himself to tourists at a franc
a look"
He could do better business at
franc a kick
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Brothers.?

Model-Pardon me, sir, but isn't
there another artist in this buildingf
Artist-Well, that is a matter OF
opinion. There is another fellow who
paints.-Judge.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
nherinn a Loan.

He (about 1880 p.m.)-I do wish
I had money enough to travel.
She (stifing a yawn)-May not
lend you your car faTeT
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
The Couuettish BAT,

The bat looked up at the player bold,
And its smile was good to see;
Then it turned quite red as it softly
said,
"YOu have made a hit with mel"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
caIlantrv of Two Candidates.

GaIIantry Of TWO Candidates.
In recent municipal election at
Chard, England, two male candidates
withdrew in order that two women
might have an uncontested election
OoubIe-Dyed.
Here's a man claims to have caught
forty-five-pound catfich equipped with
two tails"
What would you call him?"
"A liar on the first count and a ma
eure faker on the second.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Modern Youth.

Young Girls it not true. mamma,
that l cannot read that book of which
everyone is talking until after have
been divorced.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
What He Could.

Young Wife-Jack, dear, l wish yol
would break brother George of the
poker-playing habit
Young Husband-Why, 1 did break
him only last night.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
As TO MARI ed Friends,

AS 10 WAR "a FEienO6s
She-But she lets him think he Is
having his own way.
He-Well, that is something. Some
women won't even let a man pretend
to think he is having his own way.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Where 1t Came Off.

"The plaintiff tells the jury that you
kissed her on the door STEP"
''She is mistaken; it was about five
feet above the doorstep"
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Impossible.

"Percy, papa says you mustn't como
to see me any more"
"Why, Aggie, how could I? I'm al.
ready coming seven times a week."
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13

A Suspicious Attention.
"My husband is really very atten.
tive. Yesterday he bought me dozen
wells.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
Exactinu.

Lady (after she has filled the entire
railway compartment with her lug
gage)-But, guard, where am to sit?
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13

Vast Output of Quill Toothpicks.
A toothpick factory near Paris turns
out 10000 quilts annually. 1t is the
largest plant OF the kind in the world.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13

ChTIstIan Progress III JaPdHs
The population of baptized citizens
in Japan has increased since 1872 from
nine to more than $4,000.
River Falls journal. [volume] (River Falls, Pierce County, Wis.) 1872-2019, 1908-02-13
A FRESH CUT

is what we always relish when it ap-
plies to steaks, chops and roasts.
We have them, and they're lucious
and appetizing enough to tempt
king.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
BOOKS IF RECORD STOLEN FROM CITY Mobile Council Votes Reward
 For Their Return MAY BE POLITICAL TRICK Expert Accountants Employed By Ad- minlstratlon Apposltion We're To
 Have Begun Work on Books
 Yesterday Morning.
MAY BE POLITICAL TRICK

Mobile, March 23.-The general council tonight voted a reward of $500 for the re- turn of two important record books stolen from the office of the city clerk, or the same amount for information leading to the arrest and conviction of the party or parties who stole them.
 The disappearance of the books was discovered this morning at o'clock when City Clerk Dame opened the office. They had been stolen since o'clock Saturday afternoon as they were on hand when the office was closed.
 The books are the cash and bill books, important accounts of record and necessi- tate the remalking of both
 Today expert accountants were expect ed to begin work on auditing the ac- counts of the administration for the past year, having been hired by the Business Government league, an -administra- ton organization that has nominated can didates for Mayor and several other posi- lions. These auditors issue signed statement in which they say that the djsappearance of the books will not pre- vent their work but will make 1t little longer In execution.
 Tn the council meeting tonight 1t was charged that the books were stolen pure lv for political purposes and in an en- deavor to discredit the present adminis- tration. special committee of five is named to investigate the disappearance of the books.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
DEMAND CHICORY.
Foreign-Born Americans Introducing
 a New Product.

The steady demand by those who have emigrated to this country from Europe is daily creating a greater demand for chic ory to improve the flavor of coffee
 It is fact not generally known to Americans that chicory owing to its pe- culiar properties, neutralizes harmful ef- fects which result from the drinking of straight coffee as a beverage.
 Now that it is becoming so difficult to secure coffees at any price which are really palatable, it is worth remembering that mixture of coffee and chicory VIII give beverage which we have diligent- ly sought for but so often failed to find, for the family breakfast, viz, the same good coffee we so much admire in hrst- class restaurants and hotels. S
 We nave our European citizens by adop- tion to thank for this. Used as they have been for more than a hundred years to add a little chicory to their coffee, this was a custom that clung to them after coming to America.
 Their constant demand for it upon our merchants led to its being imported in largely increasing quantities until one of the largest foreign firms engaged in pre- parfng it esta blished great works here in America.
 Since then its use has widened until nearly all classes are now using 1t daily. Because it improves the taste of coffee and takes away its bad effects.
 Leading merchants are now putting up their package coffees with the addition of the proper proportion of chicory and plainly labelling the package accordingly.
 This insures you coffee and chicory of the quality that will produce a beverage like that served in the best hotels and restaurants.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
Personal and General.

There were a large number of cases at the police court this morning. There were none of serious nature, however, the majority being eases of disorderly conduct, drunkenness and vagrancy. May or Sugg committed Ollis Allison, a white boy about IA years of age, to the Boys Industrial school at East Lake.
 The heavy and continuous rains since Saturday night have taxed the storm sewers to their fullest capacity and in several instances the sewers were stopped up by trash washed down from the side streets. Street Commissioner Joe Tetlow and the street force removed the obstacles and the water quickly drained off.
 Much interest Is manifested in the pro- posed 60-foot boulevard between Birming- ham and Ensley. The citizens of Ensley are delighted with the prospect as 1t will mean much to the future of the Steel City At special meeting of the Com mercial club committee was appointed to meet with the Birmingham commit tee and cooperate with them in bringing the proposition to head.
 At the recent meeting of the Ensley Land company, in which new officers were elected, w. N. Wood was elected manager of sales. MT. Wood has been with the Ensley Land company a num- Der of years and his election to this position Is very gratifying to his friends. Since the land company has put it's property on the market again many sales nave been made.
 A. L. Golf leaves tonight for Tusca- loosa to inspect the work on the gov ernment lock houses he Is building un- der contract.
 w. H. Burton of Memphis was in the city today on business.
 Mrs c. Weinstein of Philadelphia, who has been on a visit to her daughter. Mrs Leo Broda, will return to her home Wednesday,.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
Handsome Gift for Maharo.

w. H. Maharg, who has been super intendent of the open hearth department of the steel mill, was presented with a handsome gold watch and chain this aft ernoon by the employees of his depart ment. MT. Maharg has made an enviable record since assuming charge of the open hearth and has been instrumental in breaking many past records for output. He was popular with the workers and , the higher officials alike. The presenta- tion took place in the office of the open hearth. General Superintendent c. J. Barr made a neat little speech and com- plimented Mr. Maharg on the excellent record he had made and presented the watch with the compliments of the em- ployes as a token of their appreciation of his many fine qualities. MT. Maharg leaves Ensley to accept the position of superintendent of the Crucible Steel com pany of Pittsburg.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
Lodue Notes.

Cunningham chapter, Royal Arch Ma sons, held most interesting meeting to- night at their hall on Nineteenth street. The attendance was very good and the M. E. degree was conferred on three can didates. At the next meeting the Royal Arch degree will be conferred on a team after which refreshments will be served.
 The Elks met tonight at their home on Avenue E, in regular session, which was we'll attended Several candidates were initiated into the mysteries of Elkdom. There were also several nominations for officers made. Much interest Is being manifested in the election, which will take place next Monday night. and from the interest displayed the attendance will be large,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
ALABAMA CONCERN
 GETS BIG CONTRACT
THE NORTHERN ALABAMA Ex- CAvATloN COMPANY WILL CON- PLETE WORK AT COLBERT SHOALS ON TENNESSEE RIVER.


 Florence, March 23,-(Special) )-The contract for the balance of the excava- ton at Colbert Shoals on the Tennes- see river, has been awarded the North ern Alabama Excavation company, and w. A. Shppy of Memphis, over about 40 competitors, among whom was w. J. Oliver of Knoxville, the Panama canal bidder.
 The bid of the Alabama company was $26. 90 per cubic yard, 11a cents higher than that of MT. Oliver. The contract calls for the removal of about 100000 cubic yards of dirt and will require about two years. It amounts in round figures to about $25000O.
 T. w. Crew of Florence. the head of the Northern Alabama Construction com pany, has just completed a large con tract for excavation at Colbert Shoals.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24

local camp of Confederate Veterans, and the Daughters of the Confederacy Fri day, March 27. at the Presbyterian hall, Nineteenth street. At this meeting a camp of Sons of Confederate Veterans will be organized. Several prominent members of Camp Clayton of Birming- ham will be present to assist in the or ganization of the camp. The commit tee on membership has already secured several hundred names, and the indica- tions are that strong camp will be in- stituted. The approaching reunion to be held in Birmingham has caused much activity among the veterans of Ensley, who are particularly anxious that a camp of Sons of Veterans be established.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
BRYAN AND TOMLINSON
 INDORSED IN TALLAPOOSA

Dadeville, March 3.-(Special. 1.-The democratic county committee in session here today passed resolutions unanimous ly indorsing W. J. Bryan for President and John W. Tomlinson of Birmingham fer one of the delegates from the state at large to the democratic national con vention. After the adjournment of the committee a mass meeting of the demo- crats of Tallapoosa county was held at the court house, presided over by Judge w. NJ. Lackey, tte executive committee man for Tallapoosa county at the Bryan State Democratic club. Hon. John w. Tomlinson of Birming- l ham was introduced by Col. Thomas L. Bulger and spoke for about thirty min utes of democratic prospects and the | necessity for organization. He said .4ere were four good reasons for orr .zing Tn Alabama:
 First, to stir up inter ;, second, to be- come part of r Il to have a demo- ! cratic cub in every voting precinct in every county in the United States: third. to see that delegates who go to Denver represent the democratic masses in nomi- mating a vice president, adopting a plat | form and selecting a national committee in accord with Mir, Bryan, whose noml- | ration is conceded; fourth, to poll the en- ] tire democratic vote in November so as to carry the popular, as well as the cleo 1 tcral vote of the nation. When MT. Tomlinson concluded his speech a Bryan Democratic Campaign fIi fnf yra ized with the following officers: Thomas l.. Bulger, president W. M. Lackey, first zee president; P o. Stevens, second vice president; J. W. Strother, third vice pres ident; Fletcher Turner, fourth vice pres ident; S. J. Nolan, fifth vice presidents William Gray. sixth vice president; L. M Garrett, seventh vice president; C. |. Atkin, eighth vice president; l. S. Sur divant, ninth vice president; secretary J. Percy Oliver; treasurer, c. F. Oliver. Campaign committee as follows
 Beat 1-J. R. Ballard, Dr. Radford. w. w. Hardy.
 Beat 2-P. O. Stevens w. D. Graves. E. P. Dunevin, S. J. Mellen, F. O.. Hooten.
 Beat 3-G. L. Vernon, Frank Hancock.
 
 Beat 4-J. P Moody, D. w. Stansel, G. P S. Williams.
 Beat 5-Rufus Thompson, C. J. Truell. Cove Russell
 Beat 6-J. F. Farmer, E. W. Winslet, G. w. Willis.
 Beat 7-W. c. Stone, T. R. Gardner, G. J. Sarrell, II. W. Craddock, P. A. Jack son.
 Beat SzH. D. Jackson. W. R. Milner, Tom Raker, P. B. Walker.
 Beat 9-W. c. Roeck, R. l.. Wilson, J. A. Wilson, B. B. Spain.
 Beat 10-D. W. Joiner, G. w. Brooks. J. A. Smith. J. c. Sprattin.
 Beat 11-W. M. Barron J. B. Furry, Sr., H. M Carleton, E. w. Hart Beat 12--J. J. Plant, J. H. Ashurst G, B. Stearns, T. H. Johnson, J. E. Prince.
 Beat 13-G. G. Adcock, Dock Baker, Will Dillard.
 Beat 14-J. M. Wilson G. w. Peimell. J. R. Algood, Tobe Meadows.
 Beat 15-A. B. Lee, J. o. Chester, E. L.. Andrews.
 Beat 16-B. w. Burnett, pr. w. G. Carleton, J. H. Bartlett, H. M. Sanders,
 Beat IA. D. Thompson, c. G. Croley, w. B. Burke.
 derson, w. l.. DuffeW L. J. c. Stanford N. B. Nickerson. Circuit Court opened here today with Judge $. L. Brewer presiding for three weeks term. Judge Brewers charge relative to blind tigers was particularly
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
Hanged for Murder.

Emerson, white, was hanged here today for, the murder of Deputy Sheriff Wli- liam Walker. On the night that he killed Walker McPherson had killed Grant smith in Knoxville and was making his escape to the mountains when he shot Gown the officer. In hs drive for liberty McPherson was accompanied by his father, who Is serving ten years for com- phcity in the Walker murder.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
CARNEGIE ID AID IN BUYING PIPE ORGAN Presbyterians of EnsIey Will
 Accept the Offer MAHARG IS GIVEN :WATCH Joint Meeting of Veterans and Daugh- ters To Be Held To Assist in
 Forming Camp of Sons
 at Ensley.
MAHARG IS GIVEN :WATCH

Ensley, March 23.-(Special)-At the meeting of the Presbyterian brotherhood held tonight at the Presbyterian hall, it was decided to accept the offer of Andrew Carnegie to pay half the cost of a pipe organ for the Presbyterian church.. The organ committee decided to purchase a $2500 organ and when half this amount is raised MT. Carnegie will forward a check for the balance. Quite an interesting meeting was held, par taking of a business and social nature. Rev. Brooks Lawrence made an interest ing address on Christian Citizenship" He spoke earnestly and eloquently on the duties we owe to the church and the responsibilities placed upon its members to uphold by precept and example its teachings.
 musical programme was also rem dered which was most enjoyable. At the close of the session delightful refresh ments were served by the ladies of the church.
 Joint Meeting With Veterans.
 There will be joint meeting of the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
Republican Convention.

Florence, March S-(Special.) )-Ths Lauderdale county republican executive committee met Saturday afternoon at the court house and called a county con- vention to be held Wednesday, April 15. The committee left everything in the hands of the convention and 1t will be up to that body to decide whether a re- publican ticket will be put in the field to oppose the democratic nominees.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
Prominent Farmer Killed.

Lake City, Fla, March 23.-Michael To- .ail, a prominent farmer, was killed by unknown persons near here today. A rosse accompanied by bloodhounds has gone to the scene of the killing, which IS thought to be the result of an old feud. Sam Tolan, brother of the dead man, was killed in a like manner last sum- Iler.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
Chris McDonaId Dies.

Huntsville, March 3.-(Special.)-Chris Mcdonald. superintendent of Maple Hill cemetery. and for many years a promi- nent citizen of Huntsville. died very sud- denly this afternoon. His widow and one son, James c. Mcdonald, survive him.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-03-24
GUNTER DEFEATS
 TYSON FOR MAYOR
MAJORITY IN MONTGOMERY PRl. MARY IS OVER 600 VOTES. IRA VIRGIN WINS FOR PRES. DENT OF THE COUNCIL.

Montgomery, March 2S.-(Special)-G ton Gunter beat J. c. Tyson for mayor in the primary today by over 500 votes.
 Gallagher and Iobman are the nomi- nees for police commissioners. Ira Virgin won for president of the council and the following for aldermen: First ward, Bras hell and Seidell; Fifth ward, Thompson and Lowe; Sixth ward, Sullivan and Tcole: Seventh ward, Jones and Saul