davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Prudence.

Prudenes.
A tall man, impatientiy pacing the
platform of wayslde stntlcn, accost-
cd atboy OF about twelve.
"s-s-say.|1 he said, "d-d.do y-you know
h-h-how l6te this train isf''
The boy grinned, but made no reply.
The mnn suffered out something
about kids In general and passed Into
the station
A stranger asked the boy why he
hadn't answered the big man.
"D-d-d'ye wanter see me S-g.get me
fa-fa-face punched? D-d-dat big g.guy'd
t'hk was mo.mo-mocking him."--Ev-
erybody'g.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
The
Scrap Book
The
Tho Best That was offered.

a prominent attorney Of Kansas
City succeeded in getting his client out
OF bad situation By means OF an nj.
ihi' which the attorney presented in
20 novel way that 1t was little short
OF masterful.
At The end of the trial the attorney
was overwhelmed by congratulations
from his colleagues OF the legal fra
ternlty. TO these fluctuations there
were added those of the learned Judge
himself. who observed:
"A fine alibi. that. and mighty well
put"
Wcll.' modcstly responded the law
yer. Il myself think It was rather neat.
or those that were offered me 1t was
by fur the best"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Fun With tho Conductor.

he boarded the train Mt ST. Paul,
bound for Seattle. AS the conductor
passed through the car he asked how
far 1t was from st. Paul to Seattle.
Sixteen hundred and twenty miles"
the official answered. Tho next time
the conductor came along the man
again asked him how far 1t was from
Seattle TO st. Paul. "See here, my
num-" said the conductor pompously,
Its 1920 miles from st. Paul to Seat
tie. and It's 1,620 miles from Seattle to
st. Paul"
Maybe So" snid the little man mod
esty. II didn't know. You see. It's
only seven days from Christmas TO
New Years, but It's long time from
New Years to Christmas."-Ladie
Home Journal.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Why tho Blade Is Curved.

Corporal Sandhurst was drilling O
batch OF raw recruits.
"Why Is It," no said to a bright look.
ing chap. that the blade of your saber
is curved instead OF straight
Tho blade is curved" the recruit an
swered, "in order to give more force to
tho blow"
"Nonsense~ said the corporal. 1.-THE
blade Is curved so as to fit the scab-
bard. II it was straight, how would
you get It into the curved scabbard,
you idiotl"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Some Thoughts on Love.

Some Thoughtn on Love.
1t is difficult to know at what mo-
ment love begins. 1t is less difficult to
know 1t inns begun. a thousand her
aids proclaim 1t to the listening air; a
thousand messengers betrny 1t TO the
eye. Tone. act, attitude and look. the
signals upon the countennncc. the cleo
trio telegraph of touch-all these be-
tray the yielding citadel before the
word Itself is uttered which, like the
key surrendered. opens every avenue
and gate of entrance and renders re-
treat impossible.-Lo
To write good love letter you ought
to begin without knowing what you
mean to say and to finish without
knowing what you have written.
Rousseau
The frat symptom Of true love In n
young man is timidity; in a girl 1t ia
holiness. The two sexes have tend.
ency to approach, and ench assumes
the qualities Of the other.-Hugo.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Tho Walters Preferences.

At dinner one day some men wers
discussing the merits of different spe.
Giles of gamc. Ono preferred canvas
back duck, another woodcock, and sttll
another thought quail the most dell.
cious article of food. The discussion
and the dinner ended at about the
same time.
"Well, Frank" said one of the men.
turning to the waiter at bis elbow, who
Tas Us good listener rs hc was a
waiter, what kind of game do you
like best"
Well. massa, TO tell you the truta,
almost any kind OF game'll suit me,
but what like best Is al American
eagle served on. a silver dollar
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Nerve, Sure Enough.

"rhc nerviest individual that ever /
encountered" says ex-senator Mason
of Illinois. was chap that dashed
into an accommodation train running
from Chicago to Evanston on an occa-
sion when was occupying seat near
the door.
Just before this person appeared in
my car the other passenger or two and
myself had heard yelling In the
train shed in the confusion of which
we heard some one shout, Stop thlef.'
We'll, when this person did scamper
into my car he looked about for an in-
slant with every appearance OF hunt.
cd animal. Then he dlved under my
seat, exclaiming:
"'sir, rely upon your honorg"-
Lippincott's.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
May Have succeeded ct Home.

A physician went rabbit shooting ana
returned, tired out and empty handed,
telling his wife he hadn't killed O
thing. Thereupon she remarked: II
told you so. II you had stayed at
home ami attended to your legitimate
business, you might have been more
successful"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22

In the Wrong Flock.
Mrs. Philpots cnme painting down.
stairs on her way to tho temperance
: society meeting. "Addie, run up to my
room and get my blue ribbon rosette,
the temperance badge" she directed
her maid. "You will know II, Addle--
blue ribbon aud gold lettering"
"Yes'm. ] knows 1t right WE'LL" Ad.
die had no trouble in finding II and
fastening 1t properly on tho dress of
her mistress.
AT the meeting Mrs. Pbilpots was too
busy greeting her friends to note that
they smiled when they shook hands
with her. rr7 ad
When she reached homo supper wan
served, go she went directly to the din.
Ing room. where the other members of
the family were seated.
"Grncious me, motherr' exclaimed
her son. THAT blue rlbbon--you have
not been wearing that at the temper
ance meeting?"
why, what is IL, Harry" asked tho
good woman, clutching at the ribbon
In surprise.
"why. mother dear. dldn't you know
that was tho ribbon won at tho
shown"
The gold lettering on tho ribbon read
Interstate poultry show. First prize.
Bantum."-Lndies Homo journal.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Always Ono or tho Other.

But why did you leave your last
placer the lady asked OF the would
be cook.
ITO tell tho truth. mum. just
couldn't stand the way the master an
the missus used TO quarrel, num-"
Dear me! Do you mean 90 say that
they actually used to quarrelr
"Yis. mum. NIL the time. When II
wasn't me an him. 1t was me an her"
-Everybody's.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
A eap.ismal Episode.

Au eminent Judge when asked about
the facility with which he turned from
one case to another replied that he
had learned that from what he saw at
a baptism of colored people when he
was n boy. The weather was very
cold, so that to immense the candidates
they were obliged to cut awoy the ice,
1t befell that when ono OF the female
converts was dipped back into the wa
ter the cold made her squirm about,
and In moment she Ind clipped from
the preachers hands aud was down
the stream under the ice. The preach
err however, was not disconnected.
Looking UP with perfect calmness ut
the crowd on the bank. he said: "Breth-
rem. this sister hath departed. Hand
me down another"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Cause For Envy.

Cause For Envy.
MANY married woman onv!es you
your place here as cook for us.
Bridget"
"Yes'm-'cause can leave and they
can't"-LipplncottH.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
No Exceptions 10 This RuIo.

No Exceptions TO This Rule. M
willie" said a fond mother. you
should go TO bed early. Early to bed
mud carly to rise makes man healthy,
wealthy and wise you know. You
should go to bed with the sun. The
chickens go to bed with tho SUM-" ~
Yes. know they do, mamma, but
the old hen-she always goes with
emf
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Might Be with tho suttors.

II hope" said the new made widow,
with dry sob. that poor Thomas
won't be ranged with the goats instead
OF the sheep"
Dear madam" replied tho consider,
your dear late partner was a truly
good man."
Yes. know he was: but, no matter
where he was or what he was doing,
Thomas would butt In
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
His Preferences.

A little boy was sitting on one Of the
benches in Central park, New York.
watching people ride the donkeys. An
exceedingly fat woman hired donkey
and was about to mount when she saw
the small boy and said to him, Little
boy. don't you want me to hire don.
key for you tooT'
mo. thank you. I'd rather sit here
and ugh."-Ladies' Home Journal.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
TEARS.

Not In tho timo OF pleasure
Hope doth set her bow,
But In the sky OF sorrow, ~
Over tho vaio OF woo.
Through gloom and shadow look We
On beyond the years.
Tho soul would have no rainbow
Had tho eyes no teara.
Century.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Expensive.

Expensive.
His restless nature had made him n
torment to his teacher at tlmes. and
one afternoon shc kept him after tho
others were dismissed and had a seri.
GUS talk with him. ~ certainly Will
have TO nsk your father to como and
see me-"
Don't you do It."
why notf" inquired the teacher.
"'Cause hos doctor and charges
So visit"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Ho Wanted to Know tho Worst.

A miner who was suffering with
dyspepsia consulted doctor and took
his prescription to druggist.
well. how much?" said the miner
when the prescription was finished.
Lets see" began tho druggist cts
si10 for the medicine. 10 cents for the
bottle That makes
lie hesitated. and the miner said i'm.
patiently:
"Well, hurry up, boss. Put price
on the cork and let us know the
orst"-Ladies' Homo Journal.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
TIE ToucHsroNE.

told mine enemy the truth. His brow
At FIRST grew stern. and from his angry
eye
The lightnings flashed. But soon he
spakc: "'Tis now
see judged you falsely. Wrong was /.
FORGIVE me for the past and let us forth
TO roam through peaceful mcnds, all
strife Mt cnd!'
SO arm in arm VIC went no longer wroth.
Tho truth had made mine enemy friend!
told my friend the truth. lie bravely
smiled
And. with gracious courtesy. avcrrcd.
'Tour cnndor plcases mot Yet meath his
mild
AMI glad exterior something stirred
Which palmer said than words: I'VE arc
cstrangcd
Forevermore. Your lance hath wounded
me
Pnet all rcdrcss. Loye had TO hatred
changed.
Tho truth had made my friend an ehemy
Eleanor c. Donnely.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Preventing a Possible HIunder.

young man who was to be married
in church to Miss Way after court,
ship of many years privately request
cd the choir not TO sing This Is the
Way l Long Have Sought"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Thrifty Tenement pwellers.

Congressman Jacob Rupert OF New
York represents one of the most con-
gested districts In the metropolis.
Thinking the people who live in tene-
ments might want to plant seeds in
boxes on the window sIlis and fire cs-
capes, no sent an assortment OF his
quota OF garden seeds to the inhah-
itants of model tenement Just built
by friend OF his.
Later he received letter reading:
Ny Dear Ruppert-Plonsc send no moro
seeds to the people who live in my model
tencments
went there today. and find they arc
all raising cabbagcs, cucumbers and to-
matoes in tho bathtubs.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22

80 venomou5 sarpint. ger at Il aS'!nw
-(Aloud) except when 1t goes out too
early of mornin'. 1t understands tho
fashions, and 1 never get much good
OF him before tin or half past tin. any
way"
On the return the man was amply
repaid. He turned over and over tho
money In his hand, glanclng UP and
around with an expression Of cunning
not easily forgotten.
Are you not satisfied" was the nat
nral inquiry.
"Oh, yes. quito satisfied, and I'm sure
ger honor war satisfied, too--only the
lady laughed SO hard at tho baste's
tricks that thought your honor would
give me another little slxpence."
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
infantila knoAHlndaa.

tnfanti!e knowledge.
Little Rosalic, aged ak. was watch.
Ing her mother label some glasses OF
preserves.
Mother" said sho suddenly. what
Kind of preserves does God maker
why, God doesn't make preserves.
Rosalie"
Yes. he does, mother say It every
Sunday in Sunday school. The teacher
says, Why should you love and serve
Godr and We say. Because no makes
preserves and redeems u.s. "-Llppin;
colts.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
UnseemIy Bravado.
Century.

unsoemly Bravado.
to engulf the struggling ship Mt any
moment. Tho captain ordered box
OF skyrockets and flares brought to
the rail and with his own hands ig-
nited them In the hope that they would
make known his distress TO some pass
Ing ship.
Amid the rockets glare an austere
individual made his way to tho rail
and reproved the captain as follows:
Captain, must protest against this
unseemly brayado. We are now fac.
Ing death. This is no time for cello.
brntlon. -Eve cry ody's.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Tho FroIiesomo snste.y

A lady and gentleman took short
excursion somewhat early one morn.
Ing. and the horse commenced kicking
In such an extraordinary way that. In
stead Of becoming alarmed, they laugh
cd heartily at the oddly and obstinacy
OF the animal, which, aided by the
apologies and explanations of the drlv.
err. werc ludicrons.
Look now. ma'am. It's the quietest
bnstei In Ireland (klck. kick. but It's
a small taste frolicsome out OF play
lklcis kick. klck). aside to the horsel
"I'll give 1t TO We. ye bastc. when ] git
We home, to be exposing Inc this way
(Alondl Its the blood yc see. sir. the
rale quality blood that's IN it--sure his
mother won the plate at the Cnrragll
o. Kildare. and It's only too quiet this
crayp1ure isr Csicis). (Aside) "Ah.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
A Hard Task.

With scowling brow the vaudeville
agent awaited the next applicant. a
long. lanky individual came to his desk
and In funereal tones said. Good day,
SIR"
well, what do you want2"
~ need job just now about ms much
rs anything else" answered the lean
person.
Ever had any experience7"
"Oh, indeed, have been with
''Chop it short. know you've been
with all tho big stars from Hamlet
to omelet. That doesn't cut any freozc
with me. What's your line?"
"I-I-I'm a-a-a comedian"
well, then, make me laugh."-Lip-
pincott's.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Whom Lincoln swors.

Whom Lincoln Swore. .A
1t is said that the only time Lincoln
Was ever heard really to swear was on
the occasion Of his receiving tele-
grnm from Burnside. who Ind been or
dered to go to the relief OF Rosecrans
at Chattanooga, who was in great dan.
ger of an attack from Bragg. Burn.
side telegraphed from Jonesboro. far.
Their away from Rosecrans than he wac
when he received the order to hurry
toward him. When Burnside's telo-
gram was placed In Lincoln's hands
he said, Damn JonesboroF' He then
autographed Burnside MS follows:
Sept. q. 1863.
II you are to do any good to Rosecrans,
It Will not do to waste tirno CT Jonesboro.
A. LINCOLN.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Welcome TO Him.

Good morning, ma'nm,' began the
temperance worker. "I'm collecting
for the lncbriates home and
why. me husbands out" replied
Mrs. Mcclure. "but IL We can find him
nnywhcre's ye're welcome to him.
Evcrybody's.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22
Correct.

Correct
"Now. can any of you tell me what
Is water?' asked the teacher at tho
end of an object lesson.
PLEASE. teacher, waters what turns
black when you put your hands In itr'
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-03-22

ABSOLUTELY PURE WtaIsKEY.
Physicians and others desiring en-
excellent article are respectfully re.
quested to give this whiskey trial
on my guarantee. Mcllowed BY ago,
.. Il. cofER. Sol> Agent
1es& sGset near Washington avenue.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1908-05-21

When you think of Indigestion think
of kodol, for it is without doubt the
only preparation that completely digests
all classes of food. And that is what
you need when you have indigestion or
stomach trouble-something that will
act PROMPTLY: something hat will get
right at the trouble and do the very
work itself for the stomach by digesting
the food that you eat and that is kodol.
1t is pleasant to take. 1t is sold by w.
A. Ferguson & Co.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1908-05-21

upon sending a substitute. She had
been favored by the authorities. who
were much impressed. with an official
document certifying that Clarissa
Slade had furnished Il substitute. The
certificate in a frame was the crown
ing glory Of her shop.
The fact that the substitute wa shot
in the back while running away from
the fight did not. in Miss SHADES iudg-
ment, affect her responsibility toward
the mans family. and she had watched
over them-they were a shiftless lot
and borne with them until one happy
day they all emigrated and were for
ever after unable to return.
The adoption of Luella Alice had been
a matter of much interest in the town.
1t was just like Clarissa, they said, to
take a child that no one else would
have, but all the townspeople were
kind to the plain, shy, unchildisb
stranger.
Day by day Miss Clarissa and Luella
grew nearer to each other, the one so
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1908-05-21

helped to make the nation, but there
was so much holy zeal felt for the
ones who had died to save the nation
that the Revolutionary soldiers were
neglected, and Royton almost forgot
that the blood shed in '76 was the seed
that brought that eternal crop of glory
in 81.
There they lay, in an obscure part Of
the old cemetery, out of the line Of
march on Memorial day, out Of the line
Of mems thoughts. The sound of the
fife and drum stole over the hill once a
year and the odor Of blossoms strewn
on patriots graves. but they were not
for them.
Luella worked so faithfully that when
Memorial day dawned her GRANDPA
Tiers graves were in perfect order.
Soon the entire population had trust
fully put their keys under their front
doormats and were quietly vending
their way to the cemetery, while the
Grand Army post fell into line-at
least those who were able to walk-for
poor Silas Mason lay on his invalid's
chair in the grocery wagon, and the
old squire drove Tom Carter, with his
clutches, in his own buggy.
1t vas a very different spirit from
that which animates a Memorial day
crowd in a great city. There was much
less pomp. less noise and oratory, but
there was a seriousness, a depth of feel
ing, a LONELINESS. about the affair which
made the spectator feel that here the
ceremonies were n p%erfunctory mat
ter. Their dead were their own, not
the indiscriminate dead Of the cities.
A sense of security and contentment
filled Luella's heart as, with her hand
in Miss Clarissa's, she walked to the
soldiers monument. She belonged to
some one. She had a name. a home, a
mother, ever two dead grandfathers,
and her cup Of bliss was full.
The little procession, with muffled
drum beat and tolling bell, came slow
ly to the soldiers monument, where
the townspeople had gathered.
The church choir sang, the minister
made a prayer, and then came the roll
call.
Before Miss Clarissa realized it Luel-
la had slipped her hand away and run
up to Captain Townsend, the officer in
charge, with a bit of paper in her
hand.
eff you please, SIR" she said as she
handed it to him, won't you call the
roll for the Revolutionary soldiers over
in the old part too? Both my grand
fathers are there-that is, not my real
ly truly grandfathers, only ones that
I've adopted because they hadn't any
little girl and l hadn't any GRANDPA
theirs, and I've copied their names on
this paper, if you'll only call them out.
I'm sure they must be very lonesome
way over there in that corner"
The clear little voice rang out in the
silence. Filled with an absorbing emo
ton. the shy little child became bold,
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1908-05-21

There was such an intensity of appeal
grew misty.
Comrades" said he, latter this we
will call the roll of the Revolutionary
dead first"
The crowd. all of whom knew the
child and her sad history, cheered.
"How glad they'll be-" she said. slip
ping back to her place with Miss Cla-
rissa. whose stern face was very
tender as she looked at the uncon-
scious child.
One by n the names Of those val
liant dead were called, and the voice
OF the drum was the only answer.
There were not many of them, but
enough to make every heart fill With
pride that the little town Of Royton
had borne her part so bravely in that
mighty struggle.
Then followed the much longer list
of the civil war soldiers, and there was
not q veteran there who did not feel
glad that the place Of honor had been
given to the earlier dead. In the great
heart Of America there is love enough
to go around.
The minister then gave an address.
and his text was "a little child shall
lead them" Luella felt the blood rush
to her face. when, after the address.
Captain Townsend holding her hand.
they marched at the head of the line
to the grass grown corner where her
"grandfathers'" graves testified now
much one tender little heart and tw,
little willing hands could do.
On these and on the adjoining graves
the choicest blossoms were laid and
the largest flags planted.
Now when a stranger visits Royton
almost the first place he is taken to is
Revolutionary corner" which the high
school girls and boys keep in perfect
order. and he hears the story how
Luella adopted her g%randfathers and
how the Revolutionary heroes came to
their W.
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1908-05-21

held in any ones lap before. She had
never been kissed. and she was ten
years old.
So "42" was legally adopted by Miss
Clarissa Slade and renamed Luella
Alice Slade, after twin sisters Of Miss
Clarissa who had died in infancy.
Miss Clarissa kept a little notion shop
in Royton, where she lectured the girls
who came to buy corsets and refused
to sell cap pistols to the little boys.
In spite Of these prejudices her trade
was good. The farmers wives for
miles around knew that Clarissa
SHADES calicoes never ran" and that
her "all wool" meant all wool. Claris-
sa was n of the largest taxpayers in
the town and was one of the quaint
figures on the train when on stockhold-
ers' day all the holders of stock in the
railroad company ride free to Boston.
Miss Clarissa was a patriot. and dur
Ing the civil war. when of course she
could not be n soldier. she had insisted
Courier Democrat. (Langdon, N.D.) 1891-1920, 1908-05-21
FAIR EXCHANGE
A New Back for An Old One-How 1t Is
Done in Langdon.

q ooSA " &AA SAA
Done in Langdon.
The back aches at times with a dull,
indescribable feeling, making you weary
and restless; piercing pains shoot across
the region Of the kidneys, and again the
loins are so lame to stoop is agony. No
use to rub or apply a plaster to the back
in this condition. You cannot reach the
cause. Exchange the bad back for a
new and stronger one.
Mrs. g. F. Almen, living nine miles
northeast of Park River, N. Dak., says:
Il have suffered severely from kidney
trouble during the past two or three
years and Doan's Kidney Pills was the
first remedy to give me satisfactory re-
lief. 1 was in misery most of the time.
For sale by all dealers, Price so cents
Foster Milburn Co., Buffalo, New York,
sole agents for the United States. Re-
member the name-Doan's-and take no
other.