The Mount Holly news. [volume] (Mount Holly, Burlington Co., N.J.) 1891-1942, 1908-06-09
Bred In the
Bone.
BY James Norton.
Copyrighted. 1908. by Associated
Literary Press.
BY James Norton.


friends Before they had been mar
ried two weeks Martha called Ezra the
biggest fool in Saginaw county, and
Ezra called her an old cat Neither
was the least bit angry. 1t was just
their way, and they understood each
other.
They did not dissemble and play the
hypocrite when third party was pres
emit Ezra had courted Martha for four
years before marrying her. and she
was the only woman he had ever loved.
but this did not stand in the way of his
saying to her in the presence of old
Aunt Jackson. Martha, If we had
chicken on the farm with less brains
than you've got I'd wiring its neck"
And then Martha felt in duty bound
to good naturedly reply, Ezra Billings.
If didn't lead you around by string
you'd be sitting down on the hot stove
half the time"
In time it got to be known that the
couple wrangled like dog and cat,
and fifty families became more or less
interested. In time also they passed to
stronger terms and epithets. Between
themselves they didn't mean anything
by it. 1t was just little harmless way
of his when Ezra said to Martha in
front Of tin peddler: Say. woman.
don't smile at me and ask my opinion
about dishpans. If hadn't been
watching you like hawk this morn
ing, you'd have put paris green in my
coffee"
''That amt the way to kill or born
FOOLS" replied Martha. you've got to
hit 'em with an ak as they are lying
asleep in bed"
OF course the peddler passed 1t along,
and of course the lightning rod and the
windmill man passed along what they
heard, and at last the neighbors woke
up each morning expecting to find that
foul murder had been done during the
night
Mr.. and Mrs Billings were members
of one of the churches down in the vii
lage, and their pastor was finally ap-
pealed to. Being a conservative as well
as a good man. he thought the matter
over for a time and then preached a
sermon to At the subject 1t was hit
at both, and they were there to hear.
and yet when they left the church
Ezra was heard to say, Martha, If the
preacher had walloped me as he did
you "a keep my head shut for the next
fourteen years"
"Wallop mep' she replied. Ezra
Billings, every single word of that ser
mon was meant for you. and If you
keep on wrangling with me the people
will turn out and give you coat of
tar and feathers"
Then the preacher decided that it was
his duty to call at the farmhouse and
make a more direct appeal. Martha
was glad to see him She said she
was glad. She said she was in need of
advice and was just thinking Of com
ing to see him She said 1t was about
that fool husband Of hers.
He had taken it into his head that
the world was round, when everybody
else knew better, and had threatened
to brain her with the crowbar If she
didn't believe as be did He wouldn't
do 1t. of course. Ezra was one of the
best men in the world. whether it was
round or fat, and he couldn't be
brought to kill fly, but she thought
he ought to be wrestled with for talk
ing that way.
"But, Sister Billings. you have been
heard to threaten to poison your bus
band" protested the good man.
"Oh, but that's just our way!"
"And to pour hot lead in his ear as
he slept"
''Yes. but Ezra knows | wouldn't do
such thing. If he was afraid Of that
he wouldn't sleep and snore the way
he does"
"You have threatened to throw him
over the curb into the WELL"
But If | did he would climb right
out and kiss me-"
you have said that you wished a
tree would fall on him and that he
would be brought home dead"
yes, but / giggled when said II,
and when giggle don't mean what
say. AS said, l should like your adj
vice. Do you think the flies ought to
have the same chance to live as the
cowsT'
THAT is rather queer question. Sis
ter Billings"
"Yes. but that drafted fool of hus-
band of mine, who ought to have been
in an idiot asylum years ago, has got
the idea in his noodlepate that they
have, and he's gone and tied up all the
cows tails so they can no longer
switch.
81 was telling the lop shouldered,
slab sided nincompoop only an hour
ago to unite them tails or I'd break his
neck with the first fence rail could
get my hands on"
'You-you talked that way to your
husbandw
81 had to. No one knows Ezra as l
do. You've got to talk right out at him
If you want him to hump himself. He
S..oesn't mind 1t, however. Ezra never
loved human being until came into
his life. and if should die he'd wilt
a-ay like a weed"
The good man sighed heavily and
went down to the corndeld to have a
little talk with Ezra. He was greeted
with the greatest pleasure, but as soon
as they had shaken hands the farmer
began:
Did Martha tell you that threat
ened to choke her to death last night?'
Il hope you didn't make use of any
such language"
but l did, though of course it was
all In fun What do you think that
empty headed idiot did yesterday aft
ernoon? Because a bee stung her she
went at it and kicked over a whole
hive, and the old horse was stung In
thirty-seven different places.
II s'pose | could push her into the
goose pond In such way that people
would call it a case of suicide but ]
shan't do It. We love each other and
don't mean nothing by our talk. You
have probably heard a great lot, but
you mustn't pay any attention to It"
The good man went away plzzled
and unsatisfed. but resolved to let the
case alone. He told Deacons Harrow
and Swift so when they dropped in to
talk matters over. but they went away
to do little plotting and planning on
their own account They agreed that
it was a scandalous case and called for
heroic treatment.
A week passed away, and then one