davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
HIS FATHERS PIPE.

Detroit Free Press.
Last night when pa an ma went out
sneaked into the den
An got pas pipe an had q smoke,
JUS like the growu-up men;
/ got his 'baccy jar an filled
The bowl an struck light,
An puffed away just like my pa;
oh, was brave, all right.
JUS blew clouds of smoke about,
An then made two rings;
An then l understood jus why
A pipe such comfort brings.
oh, Gee! / had a bully time,
A reglar dandy treat;
Excep' that something made me sick
That had had to eat.
guess I must have cat too much
OF apple pie an cheese,
Coz while / sat a-smokin' there
sorter felt my knees
Begin to shake, an then the things
Went round an round an round;
The ceilin' got loose from the walls
An rested on the ground.
The mantel shelf JUS danced a Jig.
The sofa was a-swing;
tried to lie down there awhile,
But couldn't catch the thing,
An then my head began TO swim,
My eyes. they both got blurred
1 tried to call our hired girl,
But couldn't say word.
An so / lay upon the floor,
Which rocked jus like q boat;
/ felt like burning up,
My tongue stuck I'm my throat.
] never was so sick before,
1 can't explain jus why
/ got that way, unless, of course,
II was that apple pie.
My ma came home an found me there,
AS sick as / could be;
She saw the pipe upon the floor,
An so she said to me,
you've smoked your fathers pipe, yC
have,
It's made you sick. I'm glad"
She wouldn't b'lieve me when ] said
It was the pie we had
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

DI1PtEtVIE NIVFFI'
1t can hardly fail to appear to the ordi-
nary and possibly uninstructed mind that
the power of the state TO regulate its cor
porations Is severely impaired when the
practical result Of further judicial theories
is to establish in the United States courts
a power OF veto over the state regulation.
The extent OF the latter power looks to
the popular view quite large when more
than one or two cases are on record in
which United States judges have declared
rates to be "oonfiscatory' at which cor
porations themselves have done business
for the sake OF the profit that they yielded.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
Large question in Reserve.

NTUPsJs
One OF the contentious OF the railroad
lawyers in the Minnesota case is that a
state has no right to regulate intrastate
rates and commerce. They argued that
such regulation necessarily affected inter-
states rates and commerce, which are sub
ject to federal control and thus encroaehed
on the domain OF the national government.
The supreme court refused to pass on the
merits of this proposition. but Justice Peck
ham says. In his opinion, ''the question is
not. at any rate. frivolous" Doubtless this
serious question win be presented again
in such q way that the supreme court will
have to meet 1t squarely. As yet It has
gone no further than to say that state
must not be guilty OF injustice in the regu-
lation Of intrastate commerce.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
How We would FIX ,Em.
Chicago Record-Herald.

chicago IttCOTu-f1tIHIu.
Over in Germany the reporters refuse to
publish news concerning the doings of the
Reichstag when the Reichstag insults the
press. Our reporters have a better means
of getting revenge. They proceed when
they are insulted by legislators to report
all that the offending Legislators do and
say. The legislators usually do and say
so much that they wish to have passed over
that few insults are hurled.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

RippIes on the Current of Life in the
Metropolis.


Metropolis.
High on the honor roll OF heroines OF
the hatpin carve a niche for the bas-re-
lief Of Mrs. Mary vscauiz, domiciled within
hsiling distance Of New Yorks Hall of
Fame. Mrs. vacquiz was putting the fin
ishing touches on a hand embroidered
angel cake when a male intruder dashed by
her for the kitchen door. Being something
OF a sprinter herself. the woman let go a
scream and jumped after the heavy villain
and grappled with him at the head of a
flight OF stairs. A rough and tumble wrest-
ling round followed, lock holds, the hold
was tenacious enough to last till both rolled
to the bottom OF the stairs. When a police
man arrived to investigate the racket Mrs.
Vacuuiz was perched on the equatorial
region of the intruder with her hatpin in
serted in his flesh to keep him quiet. None
Of the angel cake was used in smuggling the
rascal.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Omaha is now connected by long dis
tance telephone with practically every
city. town and village in its trade ter
ritory. We will now see whether the
towns, which sought to Justify their
doing business at other points by the
excuse that Omaha shut out the inde-
pendent telephones. will change their
practice as they promised.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

The World-Herald should give the
names of the four new men President
Bryan would place on the supreme
court bench Of the nation in order to
rob that body of it's conservatism.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

The World-Herald is quoting from
the Nebraska democratic platform to
show that "the only way for the states
to escape from the thralldom OF the
federal judiciary" is therein outlined.
Why not quote from the platform on
which the republicans last went be-
fore the voters of Nebraska?
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Judge Prouty of Des Moines is go
ing to try for the nomination for con-
gress against Captain ]. A. T. Hull.
This is one OF the regular numbers on
the Iowa political program,
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Ten teachers in the domestic science
department OF the Kansas Agricultural
college have resigned owing to in
ternal dissensions. Probably just Civ
ing the students a practical demon
stration in domestic affairs.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

The biggest trust company in Co
penhagen has failed. 1t was not
wholly unexpected, as Mr.. Hamlet
served notice many years ago that
there was something rotten in Den
mark.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

One of our Omaha improvement
clubs has resoluted against compul-
sorry vaccination. Vaccination marks
evidently do not come within the ac-
cepted definition OF public improve
ments.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

1t might make a pleasant feature
Of the Denver convention to have a
society formed of the men who have
placed Mr.. Bryan in nomination for
the presidency or made seconding
speeches.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

A correspondent located at Erivisn,
in the Caucasus. is convinced that the
city was founded by Noah. Reports
from the Ohio river furnish the sus-
pIcion that Noah also founded Pitts
hnrR.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

haneas CITY btar tnd,J.
There is no lasting comfort for the rail-
ways in the decision OF the supreme court
OF the United States concerning the Min
nesota and North Carolina conflicts OF
jurisdictions. There is no cause OF dis
quietude to the people in this decision This
country is simply finding out, by investiga-
tion and capable study, what bodies
whether national or state or both--are to
control the railways and compel them to
give a square deal to the people.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

I've need a business man for presi-
dent" says a writer in Spare Moments.
Well, Augustus Heinze is available, as
he has plenty OF spare moments just
now.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

The president of Haytl says every
thing IN the republic is tranquil. He
has special reference, perhaps. to the
leaders of the insurgent movement.
all OF whom have been executed.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Governor sheldon's expedition TO
Washington has brought about the de-
sired solution OF the cattle quaran-
tine problem. The governor will be
apt to be called on again when other
troubles need to be smoothed out.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
FEDERAL COURT DECISIONS.
IndestructibIe states.

st. Louis Globe Democrat (rep).
The states are indestructible, and so is
the nation. Not a word can be found in
any supreme court decision to the con-
trary, and some of the discussion going on
is consequently pointless, There was a
time when the excessive claims for state
rights made a great deal Of trouble for the
American people.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Manager Gillian OF the Auditorium
ought not to have told the Real Estate
exchange how nearly enough money
was sunk in the gold brick lottery as
would be needed to put on the perma-
nent roof. That is one chapter in the
Auditorium history that would look
better eXpunged.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Minneapolis Journal (rep.).
We are travelling pretty fast in this coun-
try toward more centralized form of gov
ernment. We took long stride in that
direction lately when the supreme court
Of the United States handed down it's de-
clsIon in the case of Attorney General
Young. declared by the federal court in
contempt for violation of an injunction by
that court.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

After the reconciliation with Roger
Sullivan. why shouldn't Colonel Bryan
square 1t up with Tom" Taggart as
we'll? 1t remains only to pass the
pipe OF peace around to Boss"
Murphy, Pat" McCarren and "Fingy"
Connors and raise the banner OF re-
form over them all.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
what a Fight 1t would be.
Cincinnati Enquirer.

OIncHlhalI bHquITeI
1t would be very interesting to give
China and Japan about three years to
prepare for war with each other. and then
have all the war powers besides keep
hands off, and let China and japan fight
II out. No mors' interesting war, and none
SO fruitful of results TO the world could
be fought. Anything we can spare on the
event will go on China.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

AS it seldom rains in Denver II will
not be necessary to establish a check
room in the democratic convention hall
for the use of umbrellas and rain
coats. It might be a good plan. how
ever, to hx up a check room for those
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Another treasury official has re-
signed 10 become president OF the
Knickerboeker Trust company Of New
York. The Treasury department
ought TO charge tuition for training
bank presidents.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

The presidents message was a mild
notice that he does not agree with
Speaker Cannon's plan for an early
adjournment Of congress.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
A Uninue Dincoverer.
Kansas City Star.

The duke of Abruzzi Is an explorer of no
mean renown. He has not only led an
expedition toward the south pole, but he
is the first titled foreigner to discover gold
in West virginia
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

II is reported that Bourke Cochran
is to turn his attention to literature.
He might prepare a series of volumes
on Political Parties to Which Have
Belonged"
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
Iowa Idea TaRued.
Brooklyn Eagle.

The Iowa idea now seems to have
evolved into a conviction that Taft should
be nominated. Anyway, he has all the
Iowa delegates carefully boxed up with
instructions they dare not evade.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
nusIneas ON the Up Grade.
Indlanapolis News

IHUIdHdpOII9 ANVW5s
Railroad business appears to be improY-
ing so rapidly that there is little doubt
that ere long we shall once more be en-
joying that comforting and reassuring feel
ing that there is a real car shortage.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

The chairman OF the democratic
state committee gives It out already
that he expects 10 win in Nebraska this
year He said the same thing last
year and the year before, but only got
beaten worse each successive try.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Spokane 10 advocating the use of
"creosoted Woo" for street paving
Every growing city has to pay the
penalty Of that expensive experiment.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Roosevelt is the best tool the
moneyed oligarchy ever had" says
Wharton Barker. The moneyed dig
arehy. doubtless wishes this were true.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

A Detroit judge has, decided that 1t
is not violation of law to talk back
to a policeman. Perhaps, but 1t is
usually q violation of discretion.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

II the no-treat law should be en-
forced by the South Omaha police
board as is threatened. nothing but a
miracle could stop annexation.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
RenI Test of Courage.

Minneapolis Journal.
In Spain they ARP calling him Alfonso
the brave, because he went to Barcelona.
But has he ever been in Ann Arbor,
Mich.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

THE whites must rule the south"
says the president of the University
Of Virginia. They do, don't they2
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Talk about diamonds going down In
value" said man quoted by the Sun;
ITS nothing TO the habitual decline OF the
oyster pearl When you first discover a
pearl on a half she'll in some fashionable
restaurant you give a little exclamation Of
surprise and the waiter hastens up to as
sure you that your find is worth $3.50 Then
you give the waiter double what the tip
ought to be and really feel like you are
cheating him as you sneak out Of the
place. When you reach home you wake up
all the family and show this gem premium
Of a late supper. Your wife thinks that
the bauble is not worth more than 500, for
she saw the same thing in a department
store for SIS only the other day. In the
morning a hurried visit to the jeweler re-
veals the fact that your pearl is worth
about $3.50 polished by an expert, who
wants SIS for polishing it. In the end you
give the famous pearl to the janitor and
he in turn pledges 1t for 15 cents"
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

1t is a little early in the season for
such cases, but Missouri man has
already been sent to the cooler for
stealing Ice.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

The president apparently has OBJ
jections to allowing congressman to
remain longer in the ranks of the un-
employed.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

First Motorist (on country road)-IIow
arc the roads in the next state?
Second Observation-Disclosures
First Motorist--Why, heard they were
as smooth as a billiard table,
Second Motorist-They are, but not
darn one OF them is equipped with the
block system. ."-Chicago Record Herald.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

March would not be recognizable as
the real thing were 1t not for the
March winds.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

In addition to navigating the globe
the American feet Ii ciroumventing
trouble.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
manage to keep your cook

How do you manage to keep your cook
so long?"
by cheerfuly making such little con-
cessons as she demands She stays home
the parlor every other night and the ex-
elusive use of the automobile on Tuesdays,
Thursdays and Saturdays. ."-Washlngton
star.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Subscribers leaving the city tem-
pOrarily should have Tho Bee
mailed TO them. Address will be
changed as often AZ requested.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Burn the weeds, but be sure to spare
the houses.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Gracie-I said something to Jack yester-
day which he said made him the happlest
man on earth
Daisy-And so he accepted you?-Cleve-
land Leader.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

who want to deposit their hatchets
and long knives.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

1t seems that distance lends en-
chsntment to strictly distance tariff.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
aTATEAFENT, or CIRCULATION.

BTATEMHNT OF CTRCULATlON' -
state Of Nebraska, Douglas Coutny, SIS:
George b Tzschuck treasurer OF The
Bee Publishing company, being duly sworn
says that the actual number OF 1ull ana
complete copies of The Daily, Mornlns
Evening and Sunday Bee printed during
the month OF February, 1908, was as fol-
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

With more than 1900 high school girls
using mental telepathy to force the issue,
the board of estimate last Friday approved
an appropriation of 100000 to build a new
high school to be called the Washington
Irving High school. Some time ago the
land was purchased and all that was
needed was the money for the building
Petitions signed by every pupil in the schoo,
and several thousand others. were sent to
the board. At 1880, when the board con-
sdered the matter, all class duties were
laid aside in the present school, and every
pupil was asked to think hard and urge
on the board affirmative action.
Approve the money and give us a new
school," was said mentally by the entire
school, and the mental process apparently
had its effect, as the board passed the
appropriation.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Yes" said the would-be, author, I've
taken house In the country but 1t will
be necessary for me to engage a gardener.
There's quite a plot of ground around the
house, too much for me to handle"
Yes" replied Crittick, you never could
handle a plot, could you?"-Catholic Stan
dard and Times
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
We could buy beans for one seventh,
and sauce for one fifth what we pay


II feel" said the young man with the
long hair, as he leaned against the editors
desk, that / have a message"
You do, eh? Well. we're getting all our
stuff in that line from the Associated
Press."-Chicago Record Herald.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

There is something like an epidemic Of
hydrophobia in New York City and vicinity
and the full extent OF 1t is being withheld
upon the theory that thereby the spread Of
imaginary phases of the trouble win be
spared. DR.. Darlington, commlssoner of
health, admits that there is an epidemic,
and It is learned by a reporter Of the New
York Herald that at two hospitals fifty
cases are being treated, while a physician
is quoted as saying that there are probably
as many more patients not in hospitals. II
is said at the vital statistics bureau that
within year or two there have been more
cases of rabies than usual for forty years
back
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

Treasurer.
Subscribed in my presence and sworn
20 before me this "a day of March 1908.
ROBERT HUNTER.
Notary Public
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

People wanting office space in New York
never seem to let a little matter of rent
stand In the way Of acquiring It. There 10
such a demand for room in the lower part
of town that long before a skyscraper is
completed all the desirable offices and
space are gobbled up. The enormous sums
paid for office room by corporations and
firms are astonishing. In the Empire
building, where the United States Steel cor
poration has its offices. the rent is said to
be over 50 a square foot, or more than 5000
a room, and some companies occupy several
floors in this building. each representing an
annual fortune in rentals. The same prices
obtain in the Trinity building, where
Charles NJ. Schwab has a suite of Offices
and where the rental is estimated at So, 1000
floor. It is said that these prices are
matched by those obtaining in the Bqui-
table, Singer and Terminal buildings. The
two latter are, respectively, the tallest and
largest office buildings in the world Store
space in any of the big skyscrapers aver
ages about $15 a square foot, OF 1900 a year
for a small store OF 400 square feet. The
highest rental in the world is paid by a
cigar dealer for small store at Broadway
and Wan street. His rental is said to be
sS5 square foot, or about $4,000 year.
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27

New York was introduced to a novelty
when pay-as-you-enter cars were placed
in operation on the Madison avenue line
from Harlem to Brooklyn bridge. The cars
are so arranged that the passenger makes
his entrance by one door and his exit by
one of two doors at either end OF the car.
ductor the exact fare on entering the car.
Those not having the exact fare step aside
on the large platform until change Is made,
when they are permitted to pass into the
car. One hundred and fifty of the new cars
were in operation last Saturday and rail-
road officials pronounce them a success.
after every big East Side wedding the
dentists Of the quarter reap a harvest" /"
said a dental surgeon. ''It is the broken
teeth that keep us busy. / do not mean
that the guests raise a row and knock out
one another's teeth. oh, no; it's the we'd
ding cake that does the mischief. over
here bakers mix into wedding cakes every
kind Of a charm from coins and tiny china
dolls to plain tin tags. In the course OF
the festivities many a luckless guest Is
bound to crack tooth on that indigestibie
part of the wedding feast. At various
times the wedding cake victims have talked
of getting up a petition imploring the bak-
ers to omit all gritty ingredients, but up
to date the swapping Of teeth goes merrily
on"
Omaha daily bee., 1908-03-27
THE OMAHA DAILY BEE

FOUNDED BY EDWARD RosEwATER-
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-10-12
PETITION.

To the Mayor and City Council n
the City of Ardmore:
We, the undersigned citizens and
property owners on II street north
west beginning at Broadway and cv
tinuing 10 Ninth avenue northwest
hereby petition your honorable body
TO take such steps as the law author.
ICES in ordering sidewalks construct
ed on said street.
Very respectfully.
W. II. KENNER,
II. p. JONES,
HATTIE NOBLE.
KENNETH HUDSON,
II. II. BANKS,
JOHN l.. GAIT.
ia. BIVENS.
WM r. BOGIE.
MRS. J. c. KENNER
y. +. MARTIN.
c. r. VERNON
G.. T.. GOODN
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-10-12

Attest: Mayor
G n. BRUCE, City Clerk. Gle
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-10-12

Ages. six months and under; G
months 10 year and years
First between ! and years, pre-
mmm by $. $ Tolsou
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-10-12

2nd. between / and . years. pre-.
MUM by Savings bank and 81.
First between 6 Yonths and
year y doz. photos, value ST.
End. between months | year.
savings bank and 81.
1st 6 months and under. solid
gold neck chain.
2nd. G months and under. savings
bank and 81.
These banks are TO be given by
the First State Bank and account 10
be kept there.
An entrance fee Of % cents viii
be charged to enter baby for prize.
This list Is not exactly like one pub.
lished Sunday Sept. %. but corr,c-
tions were necessary
General rules governing Chrysan.
thcmum Fair
]. All plants and other articles
exhibited must be owned by eNhib.
itor. and no plant or article can bc
entered for premium Il procured
outside Of Carter county after Aug
20. 1905.
2. Cut flowers Nust be exhibited
on stems at least - inches long
and without artificial support
.. No entry charge for cut flow.
crs. but they will become the prop.
criy Of the w. G. r. u.
4 All plants must be correctly
named on labels and label securely
attached as far as uossible, as there
Will be- in this first exhibit so
many unnamed varieties. We shall
provide a committee 10 furnish
names to all those belonging to
tie same unnamed families of uu.
named ones
;. All plants and cut flowers
while In show room will be cared
for and under absolute control OF
manager Of exhibition. All expense
ATTACHED to delivering exhibit must
be paid by exhibitors.
&. The judge can award a blue
ribbon to any plant exhibit not
named In the premium list.
Z. Any plant may be sold by
exhibitor. % per cent of same go
ing to W. G. r. T. Each sale must
tondont Of selling booth when
made, stating article sold and
amount
\. No exhibit Of plants of any
part thereof IN II be removed from
show room until exhibit is over,
unless I'm case II Is sold To some
one living at distance
q. The exhibit will open each day
AT 10 o'clock "a M, or about that
time. and close at II o'clock p.
m.
10. An persons who fail to com.
ply with rules and rcgull'Gvc of
the Fair forfeit all claims to pre-.
u'Um ur'viorsiv avaracd .., 80
privileges 70 making additional cog
tries.
H.. The Judge shah be an expert
grower of chrysanthemums and 9th.
er plants ana re Of good roputa-
tion No access To entry sccrcta.
rvs books b. any committee viii be
allowed Entry secretary will be- re
quired Ia make up awarding com.
mittccs. book by numbers and not
by name of exhibitor and make
out entry tags by number.
l2 IN entry foe or ten cents n
plant will be charged for each plant
exhibited, excepting in case Of a
collection. For collections OF eight
or more. - cents for the collection.
For smaller collections. - per cent
Of rceular entry fee. No entry fee
TO De chlrgcd for cut flowers or
farm products. but these will he
come the property al the W. e. r.
be- charged for each quilt.