The Morris County chronicle. [volume] (Morristown, N.J.) 1877-1915, 1908-12-22
.GRIDIRON DINNER SK|7
RooseveIt'S African Hunt Target
For Washington Clubs Quips.
SHOTS FIRED, BEASTS RoARED

SHOTS FIRED, BEASTS ROARED
While Typewriter Clicked In the
Jungle the Auditor Kept Track Of
the Dollar Words With Bell Punch.
President Greatly Amused.
The principal skit Of the dinner Of
the Gridiron club in Washington the
other night was devoted to President
Roosevelt's African trip. The presi-
dent arrived at the dinner at 1890
o'clock. Shortly afterward the lights
were switched off and the room left
in complete darkness. The president
Of the Gridiron club announced, eve
are now in darkest Africa and the
room resounded with the roars and
growls of wild animals. Presently
the light came up with the lively an
nouncement from the dark, Sudden
sunrise in southern Senegambia," and
the guests at the dinner found tent
on which was the sign, 1.-THE Lookout"
The tent stood in the midst of a trop-
ical jungle. In front there were dis
covered an orderly in khaki and pith
helmet, Zulu chief, who stood guard
with spear, and mysterious person
who wore label, auditor" and car
ried bell punch.
The rattle of a typewriter was heard
within the tent and then voice say
ing, Here, secretary, take this" Then
followed: "Scribbler's Magazine, New
York. Victoria Nyanza April list. The
lion is a wild and ferocious animal"
At that moment it was discovered
why the auditor was in the party. He
registered each word with his bell
punch and totaled the amount at a
dollar a word after each sentence
Thus the dietation which was going
on furiously in the tent sounded about
like this: 1.-THE lion is wild and fero-
cious animal" Eight dollars!' shout
ed the auditor. 1T has a soft body
and hard face" Seventeen dol
lars" ut is the king of beasts, and
its daughter is princess" Twenty
nine dollars" 'The lion roars like dis
tant thunder" 'Thirty-five dollars"
"But it is nobody's business what it's
religion is" "Forty-four dollars"
This dictation by the man in the
tent of a story for magazine and the
thrifty spirit which prompted the plac-
ing of an auditor to keep track of all
the words used, at dollar word,
caused tremendous laughter. Presi-
dent Roosevelt took the joke with
great delight He laughed immoder-
ately all through the skit.
Dictation of the story was stopped
by the shout from within, "Wait
minute; Twill kill something's fol-
lowed by shot in the tent. The Zulu
chief who had been standing rigidly
outside the tent came suddenly to life
and dashed away returning almost in
stantly with a small skin which he
held up and which was photographed
with elaborate ceremonies. 1t was
identified as "bongo" by the man in
the tent, and Immediately story about
the bongo was dictated for the maya
zine, while the auditor kept accurate
track of all words used. Another shot
brought in "whifflebuff," which was
described for the magazine after
new typewriter had been procured, the
strenuous description of the bongo
having broken the other Two shots
were fred after the story Of the Whit
febuff was completed, and the Zulu
brought in large elephant and a
large donkey. These strange animals
shot in the jungle were described in
an Illuminating manner by the man in
the tent after they had been photo.
graphed and mounted.
Meantime the auditor had kept accu-
rate account of the words used. Later
dispatch to the Lookout" was be-
gun, and the auditor started to count
the words in that at a dollar word,
but was told to stop. keep out" said
the man in the tent. "You have moth
ing to do with this. This is my sal
ary." The dispatch to the Lookout"
was much enjoyed Its tenor was that,
while the writer had gone to Africa to
avoid any semblance of interfering in
the Taft administration, still he had a
Lew lucas ne ucSllSu W eApIeSS anu
perhaps 1t would be well for Mr. Taft
to heed.
Mr.. Taft and Mr.. Roosevelt, who sat
side by side, were vastly amused. The
second typewriter broke down, with
a loud whir in the middle of this dis
patch.
Get me another typewriter shout
ed the man in the tent.
There are no more typewriters, sir"
the auditor announced.
"Then," announced the man in the
tent, II am going home"