Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-10-02

$50 you were successful in your first
case, doctor?' "Er-yes, yes; the-er
widow paid the 1.-THE Taller.
Church-Did you ever work for
railroad company? Gotham-Well, yes;
I've tried to open the car Windows
Yonkers Statesman.
Little Wife-Granddad, what makes
a man always give a woman a diamond
engagement ring? Grandfather-The
woman.-Philadelph Enquirer.
Wife-I've invited one of my old
beaux to dinner. Do you mind? Hus-
band-Mind! Heavens, no! l always
love to associate with lucky people,
Life.
Family Doctor-And how old are you
now, Robbie? Robbie-I'm not old at
all, doctor. No man is old until his
teeth are all gone, and here I'm getting
a new set.
Auntie-Poor Rob! Does your tooth
ache yet? If 'twere mine, dear, I'd
have it out at once and be done with
it. Robbie-If 'twere yours! Well,
auntie, so would 1.
."What would you do, dear, if were
to dle?' asked Mrs. Darley, fondly.
II don't know" replied Darley thought
fully. (which is your choice-burial
or ?"-Tit-Bits
"Pop What is pantomime?" "a
pantomime is piece in which no one
speaks" 81 shouldn't think piece
with no women in it would be interest
ing w-Yonkers Statesman.
"Do you want employment?' LADY,
answered Plodding Pete, "you means
well, but you can't make work sound
any more invitin' by usln words Of
three syllables. Washington Star.
First Deacon-Our new pastor must
be vegetarian. Second Deacon-Why
do you think so? First Deacon-There
doesn't seem to be any meat in his SER
mons.-Phlladelph Public Ledger.
Elsa-The paper says that the bride
was unattended Stella-That notice
was written up in advance of the we'd
ding, but it was good guess the
bridegroom failed to show up.-Puck.
Mrs. Hix-I don't take any stock in
these faith cures brought about by the
laying on of hands. Mrs. Dix-Well,
do; cured my little boy of the cigar
cite habit that way.-New York Globe.
"You call this a summer resort, 1
believe" said the sarcastic visitor. "I
am unaware Of any place to which sum-
mer resorts more regularly" returned
the Philadelphian stifily-Philadelphia
Bulletin.
But" protested the wayward sob,
'you should make allowance for the
folliies of youth" Huh ~ growed the
old man. IF it wasn't for the allow
ance you get there would be less folly"
Chicago Daily News.
Hiram-Who is that little runt that
ken up in buggy wagon to see Miss
Flip, the new boarder? Silas-He's
what them city folks calls her "fiasco."
Hiram-Her fiasco-oh, you mean her
tinancee.-Boston Transcript.
Louder! Louder ~ shrieked the del
egates Gentlemen" protested the pre-
siding officer, Il can assure you that
the disappointment of those who can't
hear isn't marker to the disappoint-
ment Of those who can" an."-Phladelphia
Public Ledger.
Mamma-Robbie, have you earache,
dear? Robbie-No, mamma. Mamma
Then why do you put cotton in it?
Robbie-'Cause you told me that l
learn so little, cause what goes in one
ear goes out the other, and so I've
plugged the other up.
did you write to papa, George?"
Asking for your hand?' "Of course"
"Yes, 1 wrote" That's strange. sup
posed papa would be terribly angry.
You know he doesn't like you.' "Yes,
know. But l fixed it all right. II
didn't sign the letter. "-Ceveland
Plain Dealer.
Publican-And how do you like being
married, John? John-Don't like it at
all. Publican-Why, what's the matter
WI she, John? John-Well, first thing
In the morning it's money, when gooes
'Ome to my dinner it's money again.
and at supper it's the same thing. Moth
ing but money, money, money! Publi-
can-Well, l never! What do she do
WI all that money? John-I dunno. I
amt given her any yet.