The Hawaiian star. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu]) 1893-1912, 1908-07-25

Around about the earth to meet
And settle all commotion!
Yankee Doodle, Ho-heigh-ho!
Honoulu's dandy
He stuck Hawaii in his cap
And called her sugar candy.
So sang Satan as he descended upon
the meeting of the Commotion Com
mittee last evening dressed in a sailors
suit and toying with a miniature can
non on his clock-hawser
| Put him OUT" roared the Chief
| Decident, Bob Reckons, turning the
| color of a true-bill
He's not on fire" said Molten Airs
who would nearest correspond to
chemical engine in case of fire.
Witty tonight?" asked Reckons.
"No-glammish." murmured Airs.
What's glammish? inquired Chaw-
lie Frazier, L. p Omitted Press, alias
| Unceasing Prayer.
1T comes from the glamor of the
night" said Airs. with the glamor
of the night one feels glammish."
For a moment nothing could be
heard save the weeping of the w. c. T.
U. for John Martini's coffee shop, be-
cause some one called it blind pig,
and the zizzle-zigst of the wireless
from the fleet en- route to Australasia.
What are the wireless waves say
ing?' asked Oilbright
1t is from the Georgia and she's
saying anybody can have Captain Car
ter if they'll go get him." said Any
More
That reminds me-" annunciated
Booster, when the hookupu barge
laden with Hawaiian fruits distributed
its luscious largess among the fleet
sack of lemons went up over the
Georgias side for Carter"
ANY More challenged him to mortal
combat before he left" reminded Kin
ME.
And Carter chose the weapons, be-
ing challenged" said Oilbright.
What weapon did he choose?''
Armed sentries!"
We'll, the fleet has went" sang Herr
Berger, entering to the tune of Dot
Leedle Choiman Bant.
I'VE get more fleets in Septober,"
he added, rubbing his hands.
I It's long time between fleets" re-
marked Booster, and he and Satan
twent out together, out into outer
darkness to seek a little light illumi-
nation.
| BY this time the meeting had been
called to order and Ex-Chief Taylor
was put in the box to explain why he
wouldn't consent to run for the office
of County Sheriff
st. Matthewson objected that the
question was impeppermint, irreverent
and unsymmetrical.
why should he rum" urged Math.
why shouldn't he?" declared Spare
| Observation-Disclosures
Taylor brushed away a tear and
said he would tell all. Hats came
off in the presence of the confession.
You see," said Taylor, 1T is my
ambition to be public servant, not a
public slave, SO | quit the police and
rejoined the newspaper bunch"
This explanation satisfied even Tau
kea.
Gentlemen will remain quiet, others
must" said the main-guy, while the
Soakretary reads a slew of commune
cations anent nothing in particular,
and everything in general"
The Soakretary read as follows.
On top of U. S. S. Nutmeg States,
alongside Fred Whitney's wharf,,
Honolulu, July %, before breakfast.
To the Honorable People of Paradise.
Ladies and accessories:
AS skipper of this bunch of battle
ships it does meh proud to up and sing
out to you in these few words that you
are the real potatoes; that there's only
one place in this U. S. A. that has
Honolulu frazzled for weather, women
and worry and that's dear Netherwood
N. j. You're the dandy lot, for sure
and you've handed us a glorious well
come, only your hula's rusty and
! you've too many clergymen out of jobs
{ Aloha!
. REAL ADMIRAL CHERRY.
, Topside of L. S. S. Whiskonsin,
July %, 1908
To the Ponderable Commotion Com
; mittee
Gentlemen: | took "A run down t
Q Pearl Harbor, as per Teddys sugges
}. ton, and poked around considerable
i Say, it's the real dope Me TO
+ Pearline' I've wrote a letter to tn
Department Of Strategy, me and Parks
and you'll see the mud fly soon Tn
next time you see the Atlantic fleet a
T. Honolulu it will be at Pearl Harbol
It will take lot Of digging Uncl
Sam will have to dig SlO0OOO0O bu
its better dope than the Panama ditto
8 bprauge IFS sOpnpr