Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-13

EIA-[---5 HA9 dream bad
+ e a m every
thing has gone to
the dogs-bills unpaid-steward post
poned' = even Harry-my little brother
Harry at Oxford-neglected. That
reminds me two letters from him
here in the last postbag. What is it
that makes man hate to open letters?
Is it cowardice? Or is it laziness? Or is
it a torpid liver? No. a chap who takes
as much active exercise as I do, can't
have liver. Laziness? Remarkable
what lot of physical labor 1 can &C
complish with joy, but when it comes to
using my brain! That's it. Brain work
decidedly distasteful-why? 1 have
brain-a kind of brain-what kind OF
brain? (Going to door, Fraser, don't let
me be disturbed-Im out to everybody.
No! don't come to me until it's time to
change my coat. How many to dinner?
Oh. yes-let me see? (To himself) First
dinner since poor dad died. (Aloud) Yes
there's Lady Banjo-confound it,
mean Lady Newman-that comes of call
ing people by their nicknames. Serves her
right FOR driving everybody to distrac-
ton with that banjo of hers. Always
brings 1t with her-last time she came,
she BACKED up. Els? Oh, yes-How may?
Lady Ban-cOnfound it-Lady NEWMAN
oiu TcH anu lnk-Inere m at II again
our worthy pastor. DR.. Penryck-Stubbles
-bah-Maj. the Hon. Marengo Marengo
Marjoribanks-my gallant uncle-COusin
Bobbie-good chap, Bobbie-Robert Doo-
little Marjoribanks. best fellow in the
world-Yes. yes Fraser, in a minute.
I'm in a contemplative, analytical mood
this day--where was 1? Oh, Bobbie Mar
joribanks-everybody loves that chap,
lucky dog-wish 1 were as popular
might be, / suppose-popularity can be
ho1 with inc tn ic
world If you'll pay the price for it, but
hate grinning and / hate-well, I was
going to say 1 hate telling lies-some
kind of lies-but why? Pure selfshness-
able? Now there's Bobbie, he'll actually
pretend he dotes on the banjo-All right,
Fraser. Bobbie-that's four Auntie
Munch-1ve-Lucy and her mother-sev-
and I'm nine - Yes, nine. Fraser-nine.
tShuts the door. sings:)
- neIn o ncin O nein. o nein,
Das Vaterland muss grOesser sefn-
I don't know-Its quite large enough
for me.
Going to window "All mine as far as
eye can see. All this is mine. He said
to Egypt's king''-Tush, I'm quoting
Polycrates. bad luck! Poor Cad died and
joribanks -Alwyn. seventh baronet of Al
wyn on Alwyn-with an income derived
from railroad StOckS-principally Amer
ican-accOrding to Fudge and Mcpherson,
our family lawyers, OF nearly ten thou
sand pounds year. Fudge says, to be
exact, nine thousand eight hundred and
sxty-eight pounds. nine shilings and six
pence. after deductinG cOmmissiOns-whO
draws the commissions? Fudge, / sup
pose. and Mcpherson? Let me see.
must remember precisely what Fudge ex-
planned the morning after reading the
wiil-detestable ceremony-readlng the
wili-this very room-Aunt Munich there
tpoints to a chair with her pocket hand
kerchief. black silk gown and stuffy
crepe-and sniff Uncle Stubbles-ple-
io-scarlet-mustache rampant-war-
like-there tSame MISUNDERSTANDING
asthmatic cough-danger OF apoplexy any
moment. Boobie-capital chap Bobbie!
Gay-debOnnaire-sm every
body feel if it was d jolly party and
Fudge were about to open a prize pack
age with present for each of us In it
Old Pen and Ink there (same business)
absolutely non-committal-no interest in
the worId--eyes nearly closed-evidently
lost In prayer-Lucy mother-just Wee
bit too alert--but, then, she can be any
thing she pleases as long as she happens
to be Lucys mother-i wonder how she
happened? Marriage de CONVEYANCE.
suppose? Never knew Lucy'S father-he
must have been a brick-and last but not
least-Lucy dear old girl-there: how
pretty she looked in her black gOwn-her
face rather pale-her hair with that fur
tive glimmer of gold. All the time that
Fudge was droning out the will j was
looking at Lucy and ] forgot to listen to
Fudge. Result utter ignorance to the
terms OF poor dads disposition of the
property. However, Fudge was the en-
Lucy in the carriage and said good-b
half a dozen times-Fudge beSuiled me in
here and explained.
Let ME see, what did he explaiA? In
the first place he demonstrated, quite I'M
necessarily, that / was sole heir to the
title and the estate. Estate consists OF
fifteen hundred acres of park land. Dad
had a row with his tenants some years
ago and evicted the lot-turned every inch
of ground into park and garden and pad
dock-ornamental lakes, and So on. Re-
suit very charming, but without pecuni-
AIRY advantages. Moreover. Aiwyn Hall
and Park, ETC., etc. entailed and can't
he sold rented, and, according to terms
O.. dads will, there are To be no farms
AID no tenants. The chap that happens
to be baronet must live on his income &C
ten thousand pounds derived from rail-
road stock, bonds, etc.-he must keep up
the hounds, the chapel. the conserva-
tories the nursery. etc, etc. SO II 1t were
not for the railroads Sir Algernon AL
wyu, Bart. would be Sir A1gernon AL
wyn Beggar However. the bonds are
there safe enough in tin box, at the
~ office OF Messrs Fudge and McPher-
SON Let us hope sincerely that nothing
will happen to the American railroads
and since / am COMMUNICATIVE have
determined to take stock-I believe that s
what these merchant chaps do annually
or semi-annualy-let me have clear un-
derstanding not only of the state OF my
excheuuer but the state of what l am
pleased to call my mind. In short, cross
examine myself. Ah-the mirror. | Will
draw up q chair, so-(piaces chair be-
fore the mirror) and sit down
1,Ioes sol No, I'll stand up
and sit down after have introduced my
self.
Sir. or rather the late Mr.. Algernor
ALVIN of Magdalen College. oxford Che
bovs,. this is Sir .Algernon Alwyn OF Al
wyn Hall, oxford, who wishes TO ask yo,
Il few questions. 90,
permission granted and you may 81
down
Thank you.
Now. Mr.. AIwyn, l believe not very