The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-02-02
MAGAZINE SECTION.
II arts and Club S

Scott is my name-Tom Scott. l am
an unassuming, diffident American
man. In the country where woman
rules rampant and man acquiesces
couchant, so to speak, know my
place, and l keep it,
Because of the mingled joy and ter
ror that the fair sex arouses in me,
woman has become my constant study.
In Pleasureville she reaches the zenith
of her glory at church festivals.
Shall l ever forget the baZar of last
December? 1t was pleasant to go from
q bachelors cherries room over a
drug store to gayly garlanded hail,
bright with shifting cOlors and buzzing
with chatter. And the reception COM
mittee-Mrs. Brown, large, aristOcratic
and imposing, at their head-hOw they
bore down upon me and enVeloped me.
My old heart warmed and expanded.
That wicked Myra Gait! What was
1t she whispered about Miss Virginia
and fascinators and fancy tables? As
if every fibre of my being was not
then concentrated upon a dear, gentle
race across the room, just visible above
a pile of fluffy, fuzzy. pink and white
and blue things piled up on a counter
How very careful l was to visit ev-
cry other port before seeking the haven
where / would be, and how discon-
certing it was on arriving to find my
self face to face with the Irresistible.
ubiquitous Myra
Il am assistant saIeslady here she
announced briskly. Nov. then, Col
onel, / know y0u need a fascinator
Miss Virginia made this blue one"
"Myra!" from Miss Virginia, protest,
ingly.
Well, he might buy one for his fu-
ture wife, dlIlwled Myra. Let me
show him the effect by trying it on
you. Miss Virginia"
Myra," in horror stricken accents.
In case of an emergency" l broke
in, lit is well to be provided with a
1asclnator. l think-yes, l will take
the blue one
Miss Virginia was under the counter
looking for something she could not
md, and l had TO give my money to
Myra.
1t was Marcia Belknap who bore me
OH 10 the supper table and talked to
me While | consumed edibles that
meant present JOY and future destruc-
lion. Marcia is Miss Virginia Talbot s
niece. She invaded PIeasureVille last
autumn with advanced ideas She is
young, athletic and artistic, is Miss
Marcia, and-may heaven forgive the
Dlasphemous utteranCe-She has the
manner of one who wears pants. Ii
has been my earnest endeaVor to avoid
thinking of pants when l see her. and
/ remind myself that my great-aunt
Priscilla taught me that ladies' feet
are pinned to the edge of their dresses.
but il is all in vain. I see Marcia
and l think pants.
On the night OF the festival her
handsome, boyish 0..".. wore look of
boredom and she asked YEARLY:
DOeS nothing ck,.- happen in Pleas
ureVille but festivals and fires?''
> Nothing" l answered promptly.
What is why l live here: l enjoy
both festivals and fires"
well" said Marcia. Il hate the
festivals, but l admit that l do enjoy
the fires"
Shall I turn mcendiary?' said
CALAMITY, and put the torch to
stable, or, better still, to a distil-
lery?"
Now You are laughing at me. Col
onel.' said Marcia earnestly I mean
10 say that the effect of a fire in
Pleasureville is far more dramatic than
IL is in New York: the rapid changing
of the courthouse bell, the wild shouts
of that feeble-minded darlly-"- !
odd BHly?" l interjected
Yes, and The sudden change from
quiet to clamor, the exciting way you
men pull ropes, climb ladders and do
VaiOrous deeds-I long to be one of
you!'
MY dear young lady" l said. Il
see you are full of surplus energy. How
will you eXpend il in Pleasureville?"
I'm sure / don't know" said Mar
cia- This place is asleep, sound
asleep"