The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-03
Shorty McCabe at Primrose Park

inquire if it is your intention to reside
here"
oh" says ]. "You want to know if
III join the gang? Well. seem as
you've put it up to me SO urgent, ]
don't care if I do. Course, / can't sign
as a reg lar, this bein' my first jab at
the simple life: but if you can stand
for the punk performance I'll make at
progressive euchre and croquet, you
can put me on the Saturday night sub
list, for awhile. anyway
Now say, 1 was layin' out to do the
neighborly for the best that was in
me, but it seemed 10 hit the major
wrong. He turned about two shades
pinker, cOughed once or twice, and
then got fresh hold. I'm afraid you
fail to grasp the situation, Mr.. Nc
Cabe,' says he. you see, we lead
very quiet life here in Primrose Park,
a very domestic life. AS for myself. l
have two daughters
"Chic, chic, majori" says /, pokin'
him gentle in the ribs with me thumb.
Don't you try to sick any girls on
me, or I'll take to the tall timber. I'm
no lddy's man, not little bit
Then the explosion came. For a
minute 1 thought one of them Frisco
ague spells had come east. The major
turns plum color, blows up his cheeks,
and bugs his eyes out. When the Ian
guage flows it was ffke turnin' on a
fire. pressure hydrant. An assistant
district attorney summin' up for the
state in q murder trial didn't have
look-in with the major. What did I
mean-me, a, rough-house scrapper
from the red-light section-by buttin'
into a peaceful community and insult
in the Oldest inhabitant? Didn't I
have no sense Of decency? Did I sup
pose respectable people were goin' TO
stand for such?
Honest, that was the worst jolt 1
ever had. All I could do was to sit
there with my mouth ajar, and watch
him prancin' up and down, handin me
the layout.
Say" says l, after a bit, you amt
got me mixed up with Mock Duck. or
Paddy the Gouge, or Kangaroo Mike,
or any of that crowd, have you?"
You're known as Shorty MeCabe,
aren't your says he
Guilty" says I.
Then there's no mistake" says he.
What will you take. cash down. for
this property. and clear out now?'
Say, major" says /, do you think
it would blight the buds or poison the
air much if I hung on till Monday
morning? That is, unless you've got
the tar all hot and the rail ready??'
That fetched grunt out of him
All we desire TO do, sir says he, lis
to maintain the responsibility of the
neighborhood."
DO the other folks over there feel
the same way about me?' says l.
Naturally" says he.
WELL" says I, L don't mind
tellin' you, major, that you've
thrown the hooks into me good an
plenty, and il looks like I'd have to
make a new book. / didn't come out
| here to break up any peaceful COM
munity; but before / changes my pro-
gram I'll have to sleep on it. Suppose
you slide over again sometime tomor-
row, when your collar don't fit so
tight. and then We'll see if there any
| thing to arbitrate."
Very WELL" says he, does a salute
to the ColOTS, and marches back stiff
kneed to tell his crowd how he'd read
the riot act to me.
Now say, I amt one of the kind to
lose sleep because the conductor
speaks rough when I asks for trans
fer. I generally takes what's comm
and grins. But this time I want half
so joyful as I might have been. Even
the sight of Mother Whaleys hot bis
cults, and heaTin her Singin' "Cushla
Mavourneen' in the kitchen, couldn't
chirk me up. I'd been keen for lookin'
the house over and seem what I'd got
knew I had the rights of the thing.