Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-02-14
DRIFTwOOD
BYLUE r. VERNON.


serial artists.
There is too much sentiment givcr
to some mothers, when in real. genI
inc, everyday life. it is the father
who deserves it.
y good. motherly mother is thu
most valuable work of nature, but
alas, nowadays, there are too many
who are mother by name only.
NJ use to become frightened Oh
scared when death comes a-knockin
at your door, you can't Side-step MOI
knock it out-you will take the count
So many lovers have committed
suicide together of late in Italy thai
the authorities now indict the sur
vivOr of any such tragedy for muir
der.
Even Heney has failed to send any
of the San Francisco grafters to the
pcnitentiary, where they Justly be
long. No wonder Justice wears :
bandasc over one eye.
How the crow of rooster vii
take fellow back to his boyhOOt
days. Sounds the same the world
over and recalls days spent on tn,
farm us nothing else on Earth can.
Mr. Edison is to experiment in the
Canadian Nickel Belt" with hi.
electrical dipping needle, which he
declares accurately indicates the
presence of ore beneath the surface.
Two thousand dogs were entered
for the dog show held in New Yorl
city Feb. llth. Not q single dog ha,
been missed, so far, out of the usua
numbe" prowling around in Olympia
1t has always struck me that as
trOnOmy was an occupation in which
a man laboriously compiled long
strings of figures without ever being
able to put dollar marks in front o
them.
If people will walk railroad an(
strcet-cav tracks, they should moi
claim damages from the companies il
they are injured in any manner PEG
pie have no right to trespass ON the
PoI'tItS vi otiltFS.
Three people were poisoned by eat
ing mushrooms, at Bellingham. Darr
fools, those three. They had nc
business in these days of depression
to tackle mushrooms. You see what
they got for it -poisoncd. They
should have stuck to cabbage, for !;
few months yet.
The mule is known the wide worlC
over Us stubborn animal. But one
can learn lesson from this animal
just the same. There are heap O
men just rs bad rs a stubborn
and always getting into trouble. But
every time they mix up" they ger
the worst of it. Did you ever no
ticc it?
Any man having such grand oh
jects in view as justice and humanity
can find plenty of chance for prac
tice in righting wrong, in saving in.
nocencc from being down-trodden b,
brutal lust, and blotting from thu
Earth those who would disgrace ever
skunks by association, but who cal
themselves men.
The rapidity with which James
Hamilton Lewis, formerly of Wash
ingtOn, has assembled among the DO
litical leaders in the East, and VIII,
envy him, and are camping on hi.
trail" so to speak, fearing that h,
will yet land big game. shows wha
sort of material Dude" is made of
and he only kicks snarling. barking
ours out of his way.
The physicians were holding IA con
sultatiun beside the cot Of the maj
supposed to have appendicitis con
cealrd about his person.
believe" said one of the sur
geons, that we should wait and Lei
him get stronger before cutting int.
him."
Before the other prospective opcr
ators could reply the patient turned
his head and remarked feebly:
What do you take me for:
cheeseY'
Here is a story the late Franz
McCully, Assistant State Superin
tendent of instruction used to tell:
A school teacher, an elderly man
during Territorial days, gave q bo,
problem in algebra, and although
it was comparatively easy, he couldn'
do it. She teacher remarked:
You ought to be ashamed o.
yourself. At your age George Wash
ingtOn was a surveyor.
The boy looked the teacher straight
in the eyes and replied:
Yes, and at your age no wa.
President Of the United States"
There are some queer couples in
the world, as the following incident
related to me by an Olympia rea
estate agent will show:
The other day q man and woman
called on him to see about renting /;
house. The woman did all the talk
ing and turned to the man for con
firmation or confederation. He al
ways agreed with her and did it very
meekly.
"Well," said the woman, "Il
give you s1l for the house. Won't
we, James?'
James" Yes"
And I'll pay my rent promptly
too. Won't we, James?"
James" Yes"
And I'll take good care of tn,
house. Won t we, James"
james" Yes"
And III take it for three months
Won't we. James|'
James" Yes"
Are you man and wife"' in
quired the real estate agent, which
is an usual question in such cases.
Man and wife" exclaimed tn
woman sharply, Indeed we ar
not. Are we, james,"
James" No, my dear"
What?" said the real estat
agent. Not man and wife?"
No." she retorted. I'D hav
you know, too, that in this family W
are wife and man. That's SO, ism
it, JamesY'
And James meekly agreed.