Los Angeles herald., 1908-09-06

kicks mo back, and find it hurts. am delighted
beyond words.
$50 l smiles on the old party with deep sympathy
and feller-feeling.
That's right" says encouragingly. "Humor
yerselr. When you get 'em as bad as that, it
amt particle OF to try to kill en- So just
set down and have good time with en- and byme-
bye they'll go away"
whats the matter with your asks the old
man, sort O. peeyish like
~ don't know says to the old party. whether
it's Etomachache backache that's alng me. All
| can tell yer is that amt tasted food for long
that I've forgot even the smell of onions
"'Lie down, Lucy, says the old man to the horn
pout; and the last named settles down comfort
ably with its head between its fore paws the old
party climbs up onto his feet Come on in the
house. he says, and I'll see IL can get a snack
for YER
Taking Gehenna under my arm for company.
follers him into the house.
THE old man watches me thoughtfully as loads
into my shrunken frame four dollars worth of pork
and beans and biscuits.
~ hopes my pets amt frightened you' he says,
at Ienth apoiogeticaly, combing his whiskers with
his fingers.
"'Oh, not at ALL rejoins, p'iitely. I've had
'em myself. several times. They're unpleasant but
not necessarily dangerous. And II you'll swear on
rst and then slowly increasing the stringency. it's
surprising how quick you'll get rid of EN-
He brushes my weu-meant suggestions aside
with an impatient wave of the hand and, STOPPING
over, takes from the floor a long, bloc snake with
green wings and three sets of laigs.
"'Do you see this?' he says.
YES l replies. And may well confess
it's the first time knowcd delirium trimmings
was contagious
".FeeI of it, he says 1T won't hurt you.'
II grins.
az know It," says and good reason why hain't
there out three pairs of shoes and put my
shoulder out of joint two separate occasions fnd-
ing out that simple fact
e Try he says, showing the snake at me.
why sure says, If it'll please yer any
Il put my hand out confidently expecting it to go
right through the snake and fiat the table. But
it don't. And gives a yell that sends Gehenna
scuttling under stove and falls plumb back
ward in my chair.
Easy says tho old party. They amt dan
GER
Amt ehl' says triie peevishly, l fear. I
know that well enough. But it's the strain ON your
credulousness that objects to- and goes back
three steps to got flying start.
"WelI, set down and have piece of prune pie. !.
ne says.
.Icst at this Juncshure for a piece O. pie prune
school of gryphons and gargoyles and been glad or
the chance. So l done it. And the old party, af-
ter slicing me out wedge of the succulent proven
der aforesaid, sets down opposite me again.
"'I he says at length, impressively putin down
the snake and taking out of his vest pocket crea-
tion that looked like smallpox microbe mgniied
one million times, Vertigo Smith
II don't wonder says. WAS the name be-
slowed or acquiredY
. 1T given me. by my payrents, he reJoins,
who was wel-ntentioned parties but sadly Hitter
ate. They seen 1t In almanac and, thinkin it
sounded good they gives 1t to me-
HE continues:
- he says, am a second Burbank. Or ruther,
should say, Burbank is a second me. For he deals
with senseless and inanimate things like flowers
and trees and froot and cord wood and such futile
and contemplate inyootilities, while devote my
treess energiees and unimitlss genius to the ami
mile Ringdom. Them and he waves his hand
bIithely at the snake and the smallpox germ are
some OF my oggsperiments This he goes on, pat
ting the microbe gently. is the result of mixing the