The sun., 1908-06-28
MAJOR AND MRS. MAX
'lVl RETURN TO NATURE
They Disetss the Country and Find
Its Hardships Balanced by
Its Simple Joys.

.'.
{ Back to nature 10 y tendency OF the
times. and the wise man is he who examines
human tendencies that he may discover
their causes and ponder upon their ends
said Major Max.
SAs nearly an can see,' responded Mrs
Max, awe come to the country because
there 10 nothing going on In town ana the
baby wants to see the figs.'
aWisest Of your sexl' declared the Major.
Because there 10 nothing going on In our
town, do We therefore 60 to some town
where people are gay. only to forget the
low temperature, an are wef DO we, az
our ancestors did, rush OF TO London. Fars'
Vienna? Not the best, the fttest OF US.
We come here to our modest httie iooes
in the wilderness to show our obedienoe
to love for nature. We are obeying
tendency-and the baby.
"The electric wiring in the library mas
been very we'll done over" unused the
lady, who perhaps was not at the moment
sympathetically attentive to the MAJOR.
1Espeoially those cut glass reflector globes;
they show OF the paintings very well.
think shall have coffee served there after
the dinner we give next Wednesday. II
the orchestra is In the hall 1t will sound all
right in the library. But. my dear, you
we're saying?"
aYes. indeed. At least ! was about to
say: Here we are in state close TO ma
ture. Why? Here we abandon much that
man has found, adopted and merged into
his life; substitutes for nature which ne mas
acquired on his long backward journey
from the caves OF his bear clubbing an
oestors to his present meaner and more
squald abode in the dark recesses OF the
modern apartment house
aBut, Major protested Mrs. Msz. we
don't live In an apartment in town.
4True. As tr1is as that we must avoid
generalizing from q single instance or
draw conclusions from merely personal
experience.
"when say we I mean the modern world
Our own personal state is but slight and
unimportant degree different from that OF
those who have retrograded furthest from
nature. Therefore we lead the return.
Il repeat that here We are back close TO
nature. We have left the sordid, the false
which men foolishly call luxury and refine
ment..
I'VE scorn the artificial and take to our
hearts the real In time, In n measurable
point in the future, hope. when you indi-
cate wish for food, to 60 out and--and-
and club bear
THAT reminds me-" interrupted Mrs.
Max, that the sports goods shop sent
down your new golf club"
Sweet remembranoer! You suggest an
illustration.
why do Americans play golf2 Is II
for a golf ball, hole. or q highball on the
eighteenth? No, It is in answer to call
of the wild.
when swing my driver at the teed and
tantalizing ball it 10 not with any dream
Of lining it out a couple OF hundred yards.
but with an instructive wish that l were
aiming deadly blow at some mighty beast
of the forest or plains.
Anyway, l believe II it were a very large
beast would be more likely to hit it than
am to hit the ball.
Polly Slanguer has entered the women's
putting contest because she found the
darlingest white flannel jacket in q mems
shop She doesn't put very we'll. but she
depends upon their envy or admiration OF
her jacket to get the other players on theiI
game. l think Marjorie will look lovely
in white flannel when she begins tennis,
remarked Mrs. Max.
"She must be brought up child OF nature
in white flannel" declared the Major
what we are pleased to call civilization
with its uncomfortable comforts, its un.
social society, its inoonvenient conven'
iencies, it's unfacile facilities, it's lethargit
entertainments, it's muddling enlighten'
ment, must not be for her.
"We have abandoned them. Here, ir
our simple lodge, we shall pursue the de-
| lights OF your only happy man, the un
tutored savage. We &ill prepare happ,
| life for our child. and ourselves be happy
living az free, as wild as the birds"
at may all be very we!l.' admitted Mrs
Max, but some things about nature lif'
| give me the fidgets. 1t takes 30 long to ge
plumber. for instance.
But" protested the Major, "there are M
plumbers"
There are two," the lady assured him
-One is this side of the post Office and on
next to the telegraph office.
II telephoned for both. One had takel
his family to New York to visit Coney ISLAM
and the other had gone to Denver to max
a platform, though 1 think they shoul'
have sent for the carpenter.
Il said 30 to the apprentice who answere
the telephone and he said the platform wa
for the President and q plumber was neede
for the pipes. Tradesmen are 90 disre
spectful."
THAT apprentice is a nature faker
madam. shall report him. But VIII,
plumbers in our modest little cottage-ou
shackP"
"The servants bathroom needs atten
tion," explained Mrs. Max Besides. yo
told me that your shower bath sings whe
YOU turn the hot water half on. Don
you remember saying that concert and
bath combined was more luxury than 20
we're entitled to--in view of your politics
opinionsG In town could get a doze
plumbers"
MADAM" exclaimed the Major. Il hav
listened TO you in amazement We in ou
present state OF nature have nAught to
with telephones. telegraph. post ONO,
plumbers, servants bathrooms or servants
Az for my musical shower, shall give
up-and resume the tub.
Surely here is paradox. most ir