davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
SURPRISE OF YOUNG MAN.

From the Atchison Globe
 An-Atchison young man In St. Joe: He became acquainted with tyo young ladies and took them to a restaurant They or dered what they wanted at his expense. He ordered porterhouse and onions for himself. After the toothpicks had been passed he asked the young ladies to pardon him for eating onions. One of the young ladies replied in this wise: Don't worry about the onions. When you settle with the cashier for our meal you will lose your breath" The young woman was right The young man, after he had settled the bill, had to borrow $1 for car fare to Atchison
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
BURIED WITH HAM.
York Telegram,

From the New York Telegram.
 John Sharp Williams discrimnates be- tween decent, noble pride and the baser sort, and to show up this meaner pride he tells this story:
 'An old women who lived in Yorkshire heard of a funeral in the next village. She could not attend it, but nelghbor went.
 "That night she called on the neghbor and said, Well, Nancy, l hear you wor at t funeral
 ''Yes, I wor,' Nancy repliec.
 ".What kind of funeral wor it?'
 Nancy sniffed.
 "'Why, 1t wor a very mean affair, she said. There was nobbut few bis- cult an sch.'
 "'Ah,' said the other old woman, 'them's the sort of ways I don't hold to. I've lost five. but. thank evins, I've buried 'em all with 'am.'"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
A SIGN OF GOOD CHEER.

From the Columbus Dispatch.
 Business Is Good'' reads sign in a store on the Central Market, and that one little sentence has caused more talk and philosophy than anything else in that ter ritory for a long time.
 That makes one feel good" said one man who had seen it. Its like an oasis in desert of complaint about poor busi- ness. Now, when I saw that sign 1t had & peculiarly exhilarating effect upon me, and I wanted to buy from the man with out a grouch."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

Not even a Hobson could analyze this table, but the figures do at least show that the United States is abreast of all other nations, Great Britain alone excepted. The United States, Germany and France are fairly abreast In naval strength, and the race of the three in the future promises to be close and exciting.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
Summer Resorts.

'In the days before the war and for some years after, Greenbrier White Sul- phur Springs, Va, now in West Virginia the White as the famous resort was called for short-was a great mecca for politicians as well as fashionable so- cety," said an old-timer Distinguished senators and statesmen of presidential calibre were there every summer and as late as 1880 important political confer ences were held there every summer. Northern resort hotels were much more modern in their appointments than any of the Virginia springs afforded, but the White continued to be the ultra fashionable place long after rival resorts came to the front
 But since the Hot Springs property was bought by New York capitalists in control of the Chesapeake and Ohio rail- road. and the old ramshacke hotel was replaced by handsome building and a luxurious bath house was erected, the Vanderbilts and other multi-millionaire notables have built cottages at that re- sort and crowds go there every summer President Mckinley was the first chief magistrate to visit the Hot Springs in my day; and now see that Mir. Taft Is there for the summer. The Virginia Hot Springs is destined to become as im- portant in the political world as the Greenbrier White was in other days"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.

From the New York Press.
 woman wants somebody else to flat ter her; a man can do 1t to himself.
 A bad thing about people having a lot of money is how sorry they are 1t isn't more
 A woman has to brag about her family if it's only how they have always been respectable.
 mans excuse for being irritable at home Is that If he wasn't all the rest of the family would be.
 whaf a woman likes about riding In somebody else's automobile Is hoping the people 1t tries to run over will think itg her own.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
Geor6o B. McClellan's VlndIcation

Mayor Mcclellan has, by course Of patience and dignity throughout the
 recount proceedings, won golden opin. Ions. The constant reiteration of Bharges of fraud in the ballot boxes md in the count had put him under a aloud, but he bided his time with bteadfAst courage. All the world now vsss that hs is no fraud-mayor. In rela bozes about 800 errors were Nis- bovsrsdu and 1t h probable that As
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
WHILE AWAY FROM HOME.

Birmingham people who are leaving home for the summer should have The Age-Herald follow them, and thus keep Informed about what is taking place in the city and state during their absence. The Aqe-Herad will be sent to them at any address at the regular price, and the address will be changed as often as desired.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

The authorities in Idaho are so stony-hearted they will not give Or chard the qualification of being hung. He Is to be imprisoned until the right Governor comes along to turn hin loose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
THE AeE.HERALD AT DENVER

The Age-Herald will be On sale at the Brown Palace Hotel news stand and the Savoy Hotel news stand, at Rice's news stand, Echo News and Cigar Co.'s stand and at the Western Newspaper and Magazine Agency's stand at Denver during the democratic convention.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

The Philadelphia Record predicts MT. Bryan's election, and yet some are saying that the Nebraskan will have no newspaper support in that city.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

In view of the new Equitable sky scraper Bunker Hill monument feels small, for the new one is to be as hfgh as four Bunker Hills placed on top of each other.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

Great Britain is mobilizing a fleet of 301 modern war ships in home waters. This makes our fleet of 16 ships look like 30 cents, although the 16 are first raters.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

The prohibitionist national conven- tion will meet July IA at Columbus, O., and it is to have more delegates than either of its predecessors.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

MT. Roosevelt is now enjoying a con vention run by his political opponents. He reads the papers up at Oyster Bay with gusto and delight
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

Secretary of War Wright has a war on his hands along the Rio Grande, but it is not one that will keep him awake O nights.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

The Kaiser proposes to raise addi- tional revenue by taxing bachelors and at the same time promoting the cause of society.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
WHEN ABBEY WENT ABROAD

with my colleagues, to be very proud of the growing excellence of the work of the younger men whom we, in our turn, have watched from their beginnings, and in whose careers we have taken an inter- est"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
A Great OrganIst.

Rienzi Thomas of Montgomery, the well-known organ virtuoso, Is in Bir- mingham, and played at the South High lands Presbyterian church last night. He lived in this city few years ago and for one year was organist and choir master at the Highlands church, and afterwards he filled a similar position at Temple Emanuel. He left Birmingham to accept an organ position at the great Baptist tabernacle in Brooklyn and while there attracted wide attention in mu- sical circles. It Is safe to say there are not dozen organists in the United States equal to MT. Thomas. Music lovers here are hoping that he will take up his resi- dence again in Birmingham.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
Railroad Equipment.

Several of the railroad companies have recently placed orders for new equip ment Some of the orders for box cars are quite large.
 Tt will be one of the best signs of the decrease of pessimism," says a New York paper, when the public begins to admit that the railroads will again need to buy cars and locomotives steel rails and bridge material, ties and tools and the great number of other things that they have always had to buy in a period of prosperity when the growth of the coun- try. arrested for time, made increased demands upon them"
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

The Cubs are in second place, and joy has fled from Chicago to take up it's abode in Pittsburg.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

The New York skyscrapers may yet settle all the problems concerning the makeup of the moon.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

Denyer's usual Sunday calm was missing yesterday. Statesmen worked overtime, and the political spouter did more talking than the preacher.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

Cotton does it's best when the nights, as well as the days, are hot. This promises to be a good cotton week.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

Last Wednesday was Dividend Day throughout the country, and millions were disbursed.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

MT. Bryan is a grandfather twice over, while MT. Taft Is the father Of school children only.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

The boys and girls want an eclipse that causes the chickens to go to roost in the daytime.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

MT. Taft has retired from the war department to the front porch and the rear platform
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

All of Mayor McClellan's salary has been expended in the defeat of the Hearst recount.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

No law exists restricting activity in business, and no policeman can arrest boomer.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

Uncle Sam starts a new fiscal year with a deficit, but no receiver will be applied for.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

The Equitable Life is seeking the Higher Life, 62 stories up.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

The vice presidency is as live a topic at Denver as it was at Chicago.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

In optimism no one outranks MT Bryan.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06
Tammany a Hoodoo.

''The democratic presidential ticket fares better, as a rule, when Tammany Hall is against it." said politician. 'In 1884 Tammany fought Cleveland and Cleve- land was elected. In 1888 Tammany worked actively for Cleveland and Cleve- land was defeated In 1892 Tammany leaders sulked, but MT. Cleveland car ried New York by big majority and was elected. Tammany Is Jealous only for It's power in city and state In na- tional campaigns 1t is usually a hoodoo."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

A million of barrels a day have to be made in this country to satisfy all de- mands.
 In the recent battles on the Rio Grande only innocent bystanders were hurt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

Turning from tonnage to numbers of effective fighting ships, the record ap- pears in this form, the figures being for ships built and building:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

A weed-cutting day will soon be ir .ordeN
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-06

Fie, what a spendthrift he's of hls
 tongue! Tempest.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-03-06
Settl nd Baca County.

There is some interest being shown
in government lands in Baca county
as evidenced by the homestead ap-
plications being seut in to Lamar
from that county. Those received
the past week are Robert L. Brigtol
Levi Brigtol, Abe L. and John M.
Nichademus, all of Ottawa, Kansas !:
Henryr o. Mattox, Stonington, Col
orado and Albert G. Wallace, of
Monon, Colorado.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-03-06
MEN AND THINGS
IN GENERAL
Epitome Of the Weeks Doinis il
Holly and Vicinity.

Mr.. and Mrs. F. a. Puntenny,
fresh from their bridal tour, arrived
last Wednesday from Roosevelt. Ok
lahoma. Mrs. Puntenny is charmed
with the beauties Of Holly as a res
idence point and believes she will
like, the place.
Roy Walton left for Chicago last
Monday, ostensibly on business.
MI. Chris Classen Who has been
in the Fatherland the past few
months, returned last Wednesday.
looking picture of health. Messrs.
Theodore Flick and George Wilson
weatto Dodge City to meet him,
and the report soon spread that the
y Big Three" were together once
more,
Local .theatregoers can hardly
complain Of the entertainment
provided by the Opera House
management of late.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-03-06
Lancaster Baseball Club.

The Lancaster ball tossers, at
a recent session, organized a full
fledged baseball club, and will
be heard from when the next
pennant is hung up. The lineup
is as follows:
Captain-Roy Moore.
Manager-Walter Buntrock.
Pitcher-Roy Moore.
Catcher-Walter Buntrock.
First Base-T. A. Patterson.
Second Base-Lawrence Frei-
berger.
Third Base-Estes Sallee.
Shortstop-W. E. Patterson.
Rightfeld-James Irving.
Centerfeld-Otto Moser.
-Winfrey LeBeau.
The boys are practicing daily
at the Coates school campus, but
contemplate preparing one Of the
finest diamonds in the state in
the good old summer time.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-03-06

For Sale -160 acres, fenced, with
timber and fine spring, being the
north ! of the southwest quarter,
and the south ! of the northwest 1
of section 3, in township %, r.
AZ. Located six miles from Sante
Fe depot at Holly, Colo. Apply to
Maria E. Tarrant, 1O4 N. Park
Place, Colorado Springs, Colo.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-03-06
Note the Postal Law.

From now on all subscriptions
to The Chieftain must be paid in
advance. This is in accordance
with q new ruling Of the postal
department which declares th..t
no claims ,f6r circulation will he.
allowed except those based on
actual paid subscriptions.
In order to be admitted to the
postofice the label on the wrap-'
per of each paper must show
that the subscriber is not in ar
rears or receiving the paper
gratis.
The action of the postofice de-
partment makes it necessary Tor
all subscribers who receive their
paper through the mails, to pay
cash in advance. ~.
While the new ruling may work
a temporary hardship on few
subscribers it is believed that the
general effect will be beneficial
for all concerned.
Send in your checks now and
thus get square with Uncle Sam
! and, The Chieftain at the same
tim. e?
All subscribers failing to settle
b. April 1, 1908, will have to be
dropped. because Uncle Sam
not we-says SO. Failing to hear
from you, a collector will call, or
bill mailed.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-03-06
What Everybody Wants

Everybody desires good health. which Is i'm
possible unless the kidneys are healthy. Foley I.
Kidney Remedy corrects Irregularities and
cures all forms Of kidney or bladder disorders.
Take Foley's Kidney Remedy at once and pre-
vent Brights disease and diabetes. Holly
Pharmacy. Ikelman Bros. Props.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-03-06

We have full line of kalsomine il
all the popular shades.
R. w. English Lumber Co.
The Holly chieftain., 1908-03-06

DsWn.s Carboli.ed Witch Hazel is best
for cr,s, burns, boiis, bruises and scratches. 1t
Is especially good for piles. Sold BY 'kelman
Bros. az +,
The Holly chieftain., 1908-03-06
For Sale.

For Sale.
Five-ton wagon scales, second
hand. Call and inspect.
R. w. English Lumber Co.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-10-02
< THE EVENING STARS TWO PAGE MAGAZINE
'HADES LOOKS GOOD TO THE Z
MAN WHO HAS A PUSSY WIFE
She's a Pest at Home, a Hornets Nest When She Goes Oul ana
Appreciated Only When Absent, Says Ada Lynn.
BY ADA LYNN.

EN ELIvER US from the fugsy woman.
She a never meant to be lived with. All day long she gosa about
watching to see that the sun does not shine n the carpets removing bric-a-
bac from ne place to another, altering the position of chairsp polishing silver
and china and counting her spoons. Rest to her is an unknown quantity.
Herh husband. por man more often than not wishes he ws dead. If he
starts ito smoke a pipe she will caution him about splitting tobacco OIL the floor
When he pulls his chair under HI light she complains that HI is never salts
fed unless the whole room is mused up If he drops a piece of paper Of
the floor she picks 1t up witha resigned expression, and if by chance he should
gets spot on the tabeclothd during a meal she almost bursts into tears
She's bad enough in he house. Out of 1T she's worse. Suppose they are
going to the theatre. No matter how late they are se will 10 start to get
ready until every dish is washed ant every article in its place. This could
safely be one by the maid, but she considers 1t necessary to be there % watch
that nothing Is broken through carelessness. e
At last she gee to her room, combs herh hair at least three times and then
complains that 1T never looked worse; tells her husband that she just knows
people will laugh a her hat, It's SO out ofd date; makes him o back to brush
his coat more carefully; asks him If his collar is absolutely fresh, an keeps u
a running whine unn the theatre is reached, where she is made miserable by
the rusnng of programs n the whispers of her neghbors between the acts.
Absence noun thai she wants to g 20 home, and adds hat h doesn't
like that sort Of play anyway
The husband of the fussyrw woman, no matter what his original disposition,
generally ends his days as silent Is he sphinx. The knowledge has been
forced pom him that he must endurea as best he car that life with a fussy
wife in this world car hardly be worse than the worst sort of punishment
in the next t
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-10-02
Mr.. BOOK is CHAMPEONED.
70 tho Editor Of the Evening Star:

10 tho Editor or the Evening Star:
1t Is the opinion of a large number
of u best citizens that the Republic
can nominee, Commissioner and Presi-
dent of the Board of Public Works
Frank ]. Book, would make a most ex-
cellent mayor for this rapidly growing
metropolis of Newark. Commissioner
Book is most strenuous in his constant
activity towards building up the val
uations of the vast real estate and mer-
camille interests of Newark, which, in
a few years, will rival the city of New
York In its industries and great wealta.
The far-sightedness of Commissioner
Book, in his indomitable, pushing ef-
forts to conduct a ship canal and pub
lie highway to the sea from New
ark, vindicate his industry and n
doubted executive ability. He has in
terested the United States government
in the survey for the grand waterway
proposed by him to make this a port
OF entry and commercial mart, which
will bring m in great bulk to
our city from all parts of the world,
thus greatly enhancing our valuations.
The energy Of such an astute and valu-
able citizen as Commissioner Book
really is certainly makes him deserv-
ing of his nomination. His clean, clear
record as a city official for many years
has made him practically conversant
with all the needs governing the i'm
provements which are so necessary to
Newark. Every right-thinking citizen
entitled to a vote next November
should cast it for Commissioner Frank
j. Book for mayor of Newark. M.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-10-02

who answered my advertisement was
Mr.. Pastor, and I put his name on my
list, and in due course called on him.
but he told me I was too late. He
had engaged a typewriter early that
morning. He was very sorry, he said
I would have made a charming orna.
ment to his dull office. He paid sew
eral delightful compliments to my eyes
my hair, my figure.
IT rose with a sigh.
"'Well,' I said, I suppose I'll have
to close with Mr.. Koopon, then. I'm
horribly disappointed. I'd ever so much
rather work for you
"'What, has old Koopon, the banker
made you an ofrer7' Mr.. Pastor cried
Eyes said I. and a very generous
one, too; but I prefer this Office to his.
".And in this office o shall stay,
said Mr.. Pastor, whimsically. well
make room for you somehow. Why
my lear child. all my non is ir
Koopon's bank"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-10-02
REGARDING THE MOSQUITO PROBLEM

To the Editor OF the Evening Star:
Relative to the city s mosquito plague
you have stated In THE EVENING
STAR that THE greatest difficulty is
to get the public to cooperate In any
manner for the general public good"
That Is a truth. Upon the whole, 1t Is
hard, indeed, to get concerted action to
any helpful degree in what might seem
to be everybody's business, but which
Is toe often relegated, OF considered to
be, no ones at all. in which case the
innocent suffer with the guilty.
A housewife who had been discussing
the mosquito plague that had visited
the city, some time since, indignantly
exclaimed.
Eyes, and the situation will grow
steadily worse until such time as house.
holders arc Allowed to mix their gar
bage with ashes, as heretofore"
OF a truth this little lady struck the
keynote of the situation. What could
be better than dry ashes. either as a
deodorant or d~isinfectant, for any char
acter of refuse?
Not only upon the writer's premises,
but everywhere in the city, even where
garbage cans were covered (unfortu-
nately, most were not), the receptacles
were engulfed by seething cloud of
flies and mosquitoes that were con
seantly elected from the breeding source
below. In the areaway of the writer's
home, where the garbage can is placed,
1t is a matter of necessity to drive
away the pests by blazing newspapers
several times q day. The sprinkling of
kerosene oil in the can or rubbish-box
Is Intellectual, save in the matter of
limbering up the pests to more deadly
work.
In years past, when the garbage and
ashes were mixed, this condition did
not exist, proving the truth of the
h~ouseholder's declaration. 1t Is the
writer's conviction that the six thou
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-10-02
WILLIAM WAS TRAPPED.

While on a trip through the West
some time since a young min got into
financial straits and was compelled to
pawn some Of his clothes. The gar
ments were afterward redeemed, and
Wien his mother took a light overcoat
from his trunk or his return home the
young man was considerably embar-
raised to see that the pawnbroker's
tag was still pinned to 1t. 5
How about that?' said the young
man, selling the coat. "They must
nave forgotten to take this off at the
Smith dance when I left it in the cloak
room"
A moment later his mother lifted out
his evening trousers. They also had q
ticket on them.
'Why, William" exclaimed the good
lady, you surely didn't leave these In
the cloak room, too, did you?"-Phila-
delphia Telegraph.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-10-02
MINUTES

Tact.
Brooklyn clergyman, at
tributed a part of his success to tact
to the faculty of pleasing people. He
used to tell a story in Illustration of
facts great power.
MIR. Sankey. according to the tale,
hadn't seen for two years.
why said the man., how well
you're looking. Sankey!'
"fYou. too. are looking WELL said Mr..
Sankey. And two years ago you were
quite out at the elbow, while now you
are clothed In purple and fine linen.
Come home to dinner with me, won't
you?'
"'Gladly,' said the other, and they
went to dine.
During dinner Mr.. Sankey's guest
talked agreeably of his 12o-horsepower
racer, his wife's limousine and his
daughters husband, the earl. 1t de
veloped, In fact, that he was a multi
millionaire.
land yet two years ago. MI. Sankey
said. you were as poor as a church
mouse. Tell me, how did you manage
it?'
by means of TACT the guest an
swered. I suddenly took to being tact
full, and the results were marvellous.
1 never neglected on meeting an ac-
q%uaintance to say: How well you're
looking?" The acquaintance would be
tremendously pleased. He would In
vite me home to dinner; he would
introduce me to all his Influential
friends; he would give me valuable
tips and pointers. Naturally I soon be-
came rich. very rich, rich enough tic
retire.
Then the guest looked at his watch
and rose.
But I really m be going he
said. Thank you my dear Sankey, fol
an excellent dinner. Goodby. How
well you're looking"