Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-12-25
MIR. JoBsoN ON DOGS.

had the cunnin'est little Boston terrier
for sale" tentatively observed Mrs. Job
son to Mr. Jobson after the dinner coffee
fortnight or so ago.
'sDid, did her. said MIR. Jobson, Ian
guidly Didn't have any walrus pups
or deep-sea manatees or ocean cows for
sale, too, did he?"
"They certainly were the dears," said
Mrs. Jobson, properly ignoring Mr.. Job
sons query 81 was crazy for one of
Them
"Uh huh" grunted Mr.. Jobson. "of
course, you were crazy to get one That
| isn't the only thing you were crazy
about today and yesterday and day be
fore yesterday and last year. You can
get crazier and keep cTazier about some
crazy things than anybody within
radius of seventeen miles from this hab-
itation. You ought to take something
for it. You're just as liable to break
into violence as not any old time"
"Loveliest little dears, with pink noses
and cute little kinks in their tails" Mrs
| Jobson went on, raptly, and then Mr.
Jobson glared at her.
"Say, look ahere" he said, whats all
this raving about? You hear what I'm
saying, don't you? Do you gather from
what l say that I'm eager to have ten
OF fifteen NUTS barking and whining
and whimpering around this place, or
do you derive the impression that ]
don't want any dog-any dog-at all 2"
"Well, l didn't exactly know" said
Mrs. Jobson. II am sure if you could
have seen these darling little things,
with their baby pink noses, why, you'd
| have"
mo. | wouldn't've," chopped Mr. Job
son, suddenly and determinedly, so that
there couldn't possibly be any mistake
about it, Not much would |. And
since you're beginning to show those
old symptoms of yours again on the
mutt question permit me to go on rec
ord, here and now. once and forever
No mutt comes into this house. Not
any Not one. You get that, don't your"
ooh, yes, of course" said Mrs. job
son, although 1 know how fond you are
of dogs at heart. and l was thinking that
if you could
doesn't make two cents worth of
difference what you're thinking" broke
in Mr.. Jobson, 'there isn't any possible
or imaginable scheme that you can put
over thatll result in your fetching any
more dogs into this stockade That's
final and irrevocable. The Jobson outfit
has had its little experiences in the dog
domain, and enough is plenty"
Don't you remember how devoted
you were to Dewey?' inquired Mrs.
Jobson
Never you mind about my devotion,
as you please to call it, to Dewey or to
any other ungrateful ki-oodle that ever
happened to kick around this place." re-
piled Mr.. Jobson, promptly. But Mrs
Jobson noticed, all the same, that q sort
of reminiscent CLEAN appeared in Mr..
Jobson's eyes at the name of the lost
Jobson mutt, Dewey. "You can't get
me worked up over the mention of these
internal canine ingrates that eat a man
out of house and home and keep him up
half the night waiting on 'em when
they're sick and all that. and then trot
off and lose their fool selves when they
get good and ready"
Eve always thought that Dewey
didn't run away, but that he was
stolen" put in Mrs Jobson.
"Stolen, nothing" growled Mr. Jobson.
He just got all pulled up and self-im-
portant over the snap he had here, with
two grown folks spending half of their
time pampering and wheedling and cod
ding him, and so he made up his mind
thNt day to beat it, and then he wasn't
able to find his way back, and probably
the dogcatchers got him. Doesn't make
any difference what happened to him,
anyhow. lie was too much of a respon-
sibility, ard I'm not going to permit my
self TO get all wrapped up in any more
of these NUTS, so that when they hike
or get stolen or die or whatever hap
pens to 'em, I'm all up in the air about
it. Not much"
''Well, | must say" unused Mrs. job
son, you certainly were good to the
different dogs we had here, and you did
take it to heart"
That's all right about what | took
to heart cut in Mr. Jobson, who hates
to be openly accused of possessing even
the elements of tenderness or good feel
ing. "'Nother thing about this dog gag
is that when we've got a dog and it
drops out from any cause-usually be-
Icause you feed and stuff the brute till
it can't waddle-why, you go around
blubbering for weeks afterward, and the
place isn't fit to live in until your period
of mourning for the gone mutt is over"
| sui, Nentueu Mrs. JODSOn, there
is such thing as not overlooking a dog
and not letting it get lost or stolen, and
all that, and, really, beliece that if /
had another dog-one of those cunning
little Boston bulls for example-why,
I'd be so glad to-"
yes, you would" derisively inter
rupted Mr.. Jobson. and then there's
another thing: If we had a dog, we'd
have the same old bother getting it
taken care of when we went on our
summer trips. Then you worry during
all your waking hours while you're
away lest the mutt be in the pound or
wondering if he's getting enough to eat.
or if the people taking care of him are
giving him cosy corner sofa cushions to
sleep on and all like that. Huh! Catch
me taking the eondinged responsibility
of having any more pet ours around
here-not any!"
''Oh, we'll" sighed Mrs Jobson. Il only
suggested it because dog is such SPLEEN
If3 xy}7ars