davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
How Do You Lauah2

Laughter varies greatly. In the right
kind there Is something contagious,
even If oneself lie the cause of it. 1t Is
the product of good humor; there is
nothing concealed behind it. Frank,
spontaneous and whole souled, 1t has a
beneficial effect both on the Laughter
and his hearers.
But there are other kinds of laugh
ter. Of these the sneering laugh is the
most familiar. Then there is the quiet
laugh--a sibilant. secretive sort Of
thing. which is almost Invariably a
sign Of mischief. Another laugh, dis
agreeable to hear. is high pitched and
nervous sounding. 1t is the outcome of
embarrassment or merely vocal hab-
it.
Perhaps the worst laugh of all is the
mirthless sound occasioned by the dis
tress or embarrassment of others, and
it invariably wounds most the butt of
1t. A person who has been thus laugh.
ed at and hurt Is never lively to forget
the Observation-Disclosures Mercury.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
A Wasted Opportunity.

"Ole Bill" Foote and "Ole Bill" Eng.
lish were political travelling compan
ions, and many stories were told of
their joint journeying.
The two hardy Democratic campaign.
srs were doing southern California one
election time and got into the country
at the back door of Los Angeles. One
night they reached farmhouse where
they had expected to find lodgings
The farmer had nothing but two arm.
chairs. Foote and English pleaded fol
beds-cots. trundle beds. anything that
looked like bed. Nothing doing.
The campaigners. like Napoleon OF
Grant or like Washington at Valley
Forge. slept in their chairs.
When tine first advance agents of
dawn scudded out Of the west. the poll
ticians lalnriously got out Of their
chairs and went out for fresh air. They
met the old farmer milking the COW
With the crlmpled horn.
''Do you know, gentlemen" he said
blandly and without contrition, "you
could have had a bed. after all? l was
expecting two Democratic orators here
last night and saved the beds for them,
but somehow or other they never show.
ed up. dang em."-San Francisco Call
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
Chinese Parental Authority.

A remarkable event occurred at
Tsingkiangpu. A man by the name Of
King had a son who made his father
and mother close face" because of the
wild. rakish life he led. He gambled,
loafed, smoked opium. etc. If he stole,
his father would lie taken to the va
men, and the whole family would suf-
fer for the sons villainy. and the vital
question was. How could the family
be protected? At last they arrived at
the conclusion that the only way to
protect the father and mother was to
take extreme measures with the son.
which they did with vengeance. The
father and uncle took him out among
the graves. followed by a crowd Of
curious neighbors and friends, and.
putting n rope around his neck, each
relative pulled on an end. and the son
was put beyond running the family in
this wordsworth China Herald.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
The King Had Rights.

Once when Macready was perform
ing at the theater at Mobile. Ala, his
manner at rehearsal displeased one of
the actors, native American of pure
western type. This Claudius in "Ham-
let" resolved to 'get even" with the
star for many supposed offenses, and
in this way he carried out his purpose.
When in the last scene Hamlet stab
bed the usurper he reeled forward and
after a most spasmodic finish stretch
ed himself out precisely in the place
Hamlet required for his own death.
Macready. much annoyed. whispered
ficrccly:
die farther up the stage. sir"
The monarch lay insensible. upon
which in a still louder voice the Ham
let growled:
"Die farther up the stage, SIR"
Hercupon the Claudius, sitting up,
observed:
II believe I'm king here. and I'll die
where please"
The tragedy concluded without more
ado.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
Riaht For Onca.

In an argument upon modern philan-
thropy. Of which as 1t is usually con-
Quoted he disapproves. university
professor had for opponent a charity
expert.
In the arguments course the expert
pointed out case where his society,
stepping in with financial aid, unques-
tionably saved the lives Of an entire
family.
NOW, what do you say to that?" the
expert triumphantly demanded.
oh" grumbled the professor, "even
modern philanthropy will do good some
times. 1t is like the case of west
side Mrs. Malaprop The rain fell IN
torrents as she came out Of church aft
err the service the other afternoon. She
had no umbrella, and she had not or
dcred her carriage.
"How rigating this is" she ex.
claimed New York Sun.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
No Wonder n. Fled.

4 tall, solemn looking young man
entered the restaurant with a mild,
apologetic air and seated himself at a
vacant table near the middle Of the
room. 1t was evident that he dreaded
to intrude. He wanted to get as far
away from other people us possible
He even blushed painfully when lie
gave his order, and the most casual
observer could have told that he was
bashful. Just as his dinner was
brought to him buxom looking wo-
man with seven small children entered
the place. The head waiter swept the
field with bis eye, pounced down upon
the table where the young man had
sought solitude, motioned to the moth
er. who clucked to the chickens, and
Z moment later they were all around
that one table.
That young mans face was serial
story.
Other people entered the restaurant,
glanced at the group. smiled signifi-
cantly and seated themselves.
"He doesn't look it, does hep" queried
q pleasant faced old lady in an audible
whisper
"She looks at least ten years older
than he," murmured girl at the next
table.
He few to the hatrack, tossed q half
crown to the waiter and tried to 70
through the door without opening it
London Telegraph.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
Broke up His Speech,

Judge Norton was solemn, stern and
dignitied to excess. He was also ego
tistical and sensitive to ridicule. Judge
Nelson was Il wit and careless of de-
corum. He did not like Judge Norton.
AT bar supper Judge Norton in an
elaborate speech, referring to the early
days Of Wisconsin. described with trag-
ic manner thunderstorm which once
overlook him In riding the circuit. The
scene was awful. and" said the judge,
Il expected every moment the light
ming would strike the tree under which
had taken shelter
"Then," interrupted Nelson, "why in
thunder didn't you get under another
Observation-Disclosures Ledger.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18

Tears In mortal miseries are vain.-
Homer.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
A Snow Hurricane.

The Duran. or snow hurricane of the
Pamirs, is a meteorological phenome.
non Of great interest. Even In mid.
summer the temperature during q
snow Duran frequently falls to Il de.
grees F.. while in one winter it dropped
to As degrees below zero at the end of
January. The Duran comes with star.
Ting suddenness. the atmosphere grow.
Ing dark with whirling snowflakes
where scarcely minute before the
sky was perfectly clear.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
"Afraid that lin going to elope WITH

/ "Afraid that lin going to elope wit.
Kate?" snerred Trent.
II thought that you knew she wal
aboard" retorted Paul. 81 tell 70,
that you cant sail"
, Wi:h ,n oath Trent struck ut hi; ri
val. i,Gt the blow was EASILY blocked
and the next instant Paul had rren
BY the collar. Dragging him ava!
from the gal=Elaak. he gave orc! RS 70:
the crew giasped the ropes to carry on
his command slender figure sped
across the already moving boards and
sprang between the two men.
you must let Mr.. Trent como. Paul
pleaded Kate. II know that 1t is i'm
portant that he should reach the main
land. Won't sou please let him Gomez?
"Not unit! he explains this"
The three started ut the sound of
Captain Crosby's voice. and Trent made
an effort to slip from his captors and
spring aboard the steamer. which was
already slipping past the dock.
Crosby's grasp prevented the move.
and Paul and Kate looked with aston
ishment at the suit case which had
been broken open when struck by the
gangplank and forced against a post.
1t was packed solid with greenbacks
and bonds in place Of clothing
1T looks to me as though our friend
had paid visit to the bank just before
he left" commented Crosby as he ex-
tracted two revolvers from Trent's
overcoat pockets "I'm constable here.
and guess We'll put Mr.. Trent where
he can't get away. He knew that ev-
erybody d be down to the dock to see
the steamer sail and it would be easy
to get into the vault of the First Ma
tional."
One glance Mt Trent's face showed
the constable's surmise to be correct,
and, with little cry. Kate swayed and
fell into Paul's arms.
Rapidly he bore her into the tiny
Office. shutting out the crowd Of Gu.
rious citizens, who thereupon followed
Crosby and his prisoner toward the vii
lage lookup. 1t needed only glass Of
water to revive Kate, and, with a lit
tie moan. she sat up.
"And to think that ! was going to
elope with him!" she gasped. "He
asked fathers consent to our mar
riage. and father refused it. Father
was sending NE to Boston to forget
the disappointment. and it was agreed
that John should take the steamer ut
the last moment. didn't know that
that
''That he was going to rob the bank
on his way to the steamer?' asked
Paul. I'm sorry for you. Kate"
''1'm not" she said. With sudden
spirit. eve been silly and stubborn.
1t has not Only saved me from clipping
with thief, hut it has shown me-
She paused in confusion, and Paul
took her in his arms.
1T has shown you that it was l..
after all:" lie questioned
Her look made answer, and his arms
frightened protectingly about the girl.
We'll sail on the next steamer" he
promised. "and it will he on our honey
moon. guess you'll enjoy the trip
more than you would have tonight's
voyage"
I'm glad waited" assented Kate,
but her glance told more than that.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
Old papers, 10cts., Il hundred

A great many people mistake
Kidney or BLADDER trouble for
something else, because weak
kidneys generally affect nearly
all the rest. of the body, caus-
ing depression, tired feeling,
aching limbs and body. 4
sharp pain in the small of the
back is sure sign that it is
the kidneys or bladder and The
rheumatic pains that you are
likely to have any place is
usually due to the Kidneys that
have become weakened. Take
DeWitt's Kidney and Bladder
Pills We sell and recommends
them. For sale by all drug
gists.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
On. Of Life. LittI. TRAGEDIES.

He seized her. drew her to him and
deliberately struck her. She made no
sound. Again and yet again the brute
repeated the blow. and still she gave
no sign Of suffering. but when, with
rapidly growing anger, he struck her
for the fourth time she shrieked aloud,
and her head few off. She was only a
match.-Bohemian Magazine.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
II Couldn't Be.

Denham--l wish you would talk Eng
lish to the baby Mrs. Denham-Do
you think my baby English is any
worse than your baseball English
Exchange.
The Wahpeton times. [volume] (Wahpeton, Richland County, Dakota [N.D.]) 1879-1919, 1908-06-18
Wrong WAY Around,

"Mr, Pnrslington says he believes a
man should pay as he goes
Judging from the way he gets in
debt. he must be accustomed to travel
ing backward" -Wnshington Star.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06
TO FORM NEW CABINET.
Grand Wiser and New Ministry Have
 Resigned.

constantinople. Aug. 6.-said Pasha' ths Grand Visier and the newly form ed ministry. has resigned. The sultan accspted the resignations tonight ana invited Jemalledin Effendi. the Sneik Ul-Islan and KiamE Pasha to form new cabinet.
 The newspapers assert that Menneo Ali Bey. Minister to the United states, has been relieved of his functions He is the son of Izzet Bey. former secre' tary and adviser to the Sultan. whe after the proclamation of the constitu' tion fed aboard the steamer Maria bound for @ Mediterranean port
 The notorious Fshmi Pasha. former President of the Council of State, hal been lynehed at Yenishair. in the vil' Iayet of Brusa, Asia Minor.
 Memduh Pasha. Massan Rami Pasns and Rechid Pasha. respectively ex' Ministers of the Interior and Marine and former Prefect of constantlnople were arrested today and conducted tc the ministry of police amid the Jeers and hisses of the populaee. The arrest has. been ordered of other prominent officials of the old regime and Teheln Pasha. former first secretary to Abdul Hamid and Abdul Huda, court astrolo- ger, already have been taken Into GUS tody.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06

Tn . recent number of . Philadei- phia exchange, an article on the LACK Of Sisterhood Among Women" has this to say: 'Women will never co-operase with one another" said worldly-wise woman the other day, "beeause in the very nature of things. their chief nope and happiness depend upon their co- operating with men. Until marrlaee every woman is the unclaimed part o1 sorne man. She Is his complement aa he Is her completion. And if she is never married she is never finished. She may be useful. brilliant memoer of society, but in her own conscious- ness she Is incomplete. She Is like a June day without its night of stars and silence, like a lily that does not lose It's life in a white passion or bloom and fragrance"
 Nothing is said, however, about a similar incompleteness of men.
 'sThe intellectual woman apparently contradicts the theory as to the lack of relationship among women. but, she fs, in fact. the most conspicuous ex- ample we have of mental affinity to men on the one hand, and Of temper amentai antipathy to women on the other She may be willing to spend herself for their edification. but at bot tom If her attitude to them is not missionary condescension. 1t Is one of maGnificent indifference.
 Nor is she more congenial with wo- men of her own class; the more ad- vanced the feminine intelligences that are forced into the same social or do- mestic situation. the greater will be the friction. Men of this order may work together in harmony. but bril- liant women are stars that demand sim gle orbits, and they insist upon shin ing alone around the whole circun1- ference of their circle. This is wise instinct, for when one of them finds her way into a constellation of other women. less intelligent than herself. she becomes a marplot in her efforts to improve them according to her own standards, when 1t is an open secret that women do not rise or fall by fem mine standards but by those set for them by men. On the contrary, had the extensively aggressive female enancipator among women been elect ed by q brotherhood of men. however ignorant, she would not have adopted these high handed tactics.
 There would have been in her man. ner a complimentary confession of mas culine superiority. because, between women and men of any degree there is the art of adaptability cunningly in1- piled or expressed. and there is the basis of an eternal concession which women never feel for one another.
 'sEven the spiritually minded woman is said to be no exception to this so- called biological law of sex.
 "A man first conceived the idea of establishing homes for fallen women, and while Christian women have fol- lowed his inspiration In this work. in the dark beginning not one Of them would have had the heart to hope to conceive it. Even now there Is less in common between one of the admir- Rble women and the repentant creature whom she cares for than between day
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06
T4,soaleoaa Doctor. Meet.

Tuscaloosa, Aug. Especial. 1.-The Tuscaloosa County Medical Society held its regular meeting in the Council Chamber of the City Hall last night. pr. James T. Searcy, in the absence of pr. W. G. somervilis, the Pres ident of the Association. Papers were read by pr. W. D. Patton and pr, Joseph Leland made an interesting talk on ingumal hernia, ease operated on by local anathesia at the hospital. pr. George A. Searcy handed in his Feslg. nstinn as A member of the Board Of Health. The vacancy was not Alled at thfa unAetfng,
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06
Buchnera Leave TuscaIoOsa

Tuscaloosa, Aug. b.-(Special.) )---Dr. and Mrs. p F.. Buchner and children left yesterday morning for Johns Hop kins University, where they will re- side in future Dr. Buehner having been elected to the chair of philosophy and education. During the residenee of pr. and Mrs. Buehner in this city, they have made many friends who give them up with regret. pr. Buchner while at the University. besides ably lilling his chair, Interested himself in inc upbufding of the institution, and his removal Is a distinct loss to the faculty.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06
AsIbama Republicans are seekfna
 Have HaFpnnnw

Hnye Harmony.
 Birmingham. Aug. B.--(speciai 1-- Amnesty is offered to the Davidson faction and even to Davidson himself, by the main branch of the Republican Party. according to one who 10 close to State Chairman J. O. Thompson. The overtures include even offers of places on the campaign committees, and assignment as speakers.
 The Republican State Committee meets on August 25. less than three weeks off Mir. ThompsoT's adherents hope completely to harmonise the party by that time Following shortly after is the meeting of the County Ex- ecutive Committee. The Thompson men make no promises. but have let it be known that they will receive tho Davidson faction back into the fold and give them a share in the eounselB of tn party. upon condition that the ticket is withdrawn. While they hesitate over accepting Julius Davidson himself. they are in a mood to obtain harmony at almost any price.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06
neuuIte at xalamaaao.


 Kalamazoo. Mich, August b--0fand circuit lead to come:
 Results:
 2:20 class: pacing; purse: AIceiia. b. m. by General Forrest. Alice Cooper. by ceeilian, tBenyon) !, Fender. IT.. ch. h.. tossrs;l :;..S 5 2 Jerry Patchen. Dr. g., tWilsono ;S cd. Time 2:14 i-l; Ali 1.Ai 2:l3.
 2:Is class; trot: purse s10.06o: Spanish Queen, b. m., by Onward sti- ver-Elfln Dance. by Wilkes, Aieeste. Sn, br. m., by Jaybird-
 Eestmorn, by Byron Wilkes Axtsiiay. fs }. m. irhons:ii.::::5 Thomas and vsndetta started. Time 2:io s-l: 2:07 l-4; 2;i1 Ia: 3:iz I.z:
 z:l9 class; trottiug; purse $l,ooO; MarveIletoo. b. m.. by Grand
 Baron, dam by Guy Wilkes Cereal, b. m. by Boreal (Eg-
 lantine by Hambrino) (An- Niihsm, fPsmsl D. g. g.. by Prince E1um RosePt SDpssEas5 L }r.. Joe Astral ana Redette started Time 2:13 1-4; a:I5 Ia: 2;i3 Ia; 2;16; 2;1A 1-A
 2:l4 class: pacing; purse, st,oo0: Shamrock, oh. b.. by chamers.
 dam by Elk Nutwood, {, sSriiaston dIS Maid. D. m. (saa:. .'. Minais GSIHnl M.. ..ii' o6. m. i.,'iti' (Hoff:
 sg' aa8 Bird started. Time a:is s-G 3:10 1-4: 2:i3.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06
Conerdnr., ia namaEea.

Tuscaloosa. Aug. b.--(speeial. )--Ihe . htg rains of recent date have caused the Tombigbee River to so on ramp age. and the temporary dam ct Lock 2, pemopolis. suffered some damage. The sS vghiah put the figure at Si6.000. Tynftsd state Engineer c. K. Little of this city stated that reports rom Messrs. Lane and Yuills indicated tn@t S5oC would cover the damage done.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06
WINTERS sUsPENpED.
Atlanta outfIeIder Now Out of The
 Game.

Atlanta, Ga. August B-ManageI Smith of the local ball club tonight suspended outfielder Winters and tndi- cations are that he will be out of the game fonsthe rest of the season.
 Winters several weeks ago disloeat' ed his shoulder and 1t is still too sore for him to play ball.
 Pitcher Maxwell. secured from the Philadelphia Americans. joined the team today.
 Although waivers have been asked on shortstop Castro he has not been re- leased.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06
n1aIiaIn nn Gnnra.

Russsllville. Ky. Aug. 6.-compsny H. of the state militia, arrived to-day from Louisville. The men were placed in squads in different parts of the city. All country roads are guarded. There was no trouble last night
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06

MT. Ernest Wtlkinson returnso ysS- terday from Auburn after a visit of a few days.
 Hon. J A. Wilkinson. Comnmisaiozer of Agriculture and Industries. returned yesterday from Auburn where he has been the past two days in attendance on the Summer School of Farmers. The school closed yesterday.
 ''The Summer School at Auburn has developed into an institution of vast benefit to the agricultural interests Of the Statea said Commissioner Wikin- son yesterday. 'srhe farmers who mo there must feel that they are more than repaid for the expense. The ex- penses. too. are put in the reach ef the college site. Tn my opinion the school will be q permanent feature of the work in the Alabama Polytechnic Institute This year there was as good ieeturing talent as have ever heard. =
 Senator John J. king. who repre- sented Marengo County in the last State Senate and who opposed nearly all the acts of the majority of tho Legislature was in Montgomery yes- terday. It Is reported that Senator King will be candidate for Probate Judge of Marengo County, but Senator King said yesterday that the time was too early for any statement.
 MT. Herman Lampley. q prominent citizen of Eufauia, was a visitor to Montgomery yesterday.
 Gen. ". c. Oates. Mrs. Oates and Vim :. 0. oates, IT,, will leave today for Colorado where they will spend the renaainder of the heated term. Part of inc lime will be spent in Denver with Judge Sterling 3. ToRey, Judge '. ,. Banks and other friends Trips will be made to Colorado Springs and other resorts in Colorado.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06
NEWS OF RECORD


 The following transfers of real ea- tate were yesterday recorded tn the ofIce of the Probate Judge:
 John Crawford and wife to E A. White, a quit claim on certain lands ct Montgomery County. confederation $40.
 flames s. wilicox to Mary A. Vineen. telii, lot ', square of Whitman's plat. with the exception of the east aftAen feet of the lot, eonsideraticn Se,veo.
 Chandler & Douglass to Mary Nor gan and Nellie Walker. lot 2, hlock of the plat of Bell Air. consideration 3s6o.
 Mary A. vincentellf and hupband. Marc vineenteili. to J. S. Wtlicox. q certain lot on fJiiiard Street. eonsider- ation ts.oeo.
 The following appointments of the Governor were announced yesterday:
 Justices of the Peace--C. V. Peacock of Lineville. and s. B. Blocker ok Hull.
 Constable--A. L. Lewis of Hull.
 Notary Public and sx-on1eio Justice of the Peace--J. 6. Vaughan, of Pied mont.
 Notariea Pubiie--M. B. Byrd of Dov than. J. D. Bush of New Decatur snd H. c. Mead of Bessemer.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-08-06

This woman says that sick women should not fail to try Lydia Q. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound as she did.
 Mrs. A. Gregory, of 2355 Lawrence St, Denver, Col, writes to Mrs Pinkham:
 II was practically an invalid for si1 years. on account of female troubles i underwent an operation by tho doctors advice, but in few months was worse than before. A friend ad' vised Lydia E. Pinlxham's Vegetable Compound and 1t restored me to perfect health, such as l have not enjoyed iI many years. Any woman suffering al I did with backache, bearing -dowr pains, and periodic pains, should not fai to use Lydia E. Pinlkham's Vegetable Compound."