The Nezperce herald. (Nezperce, Idaho) 1900-1957, 1908-11-19

MAUD IS a decided blonde, Isn't
she7" YES but she only decided last
eek."-Town Topics.
"wunst ! got dollar word
~G'wanw Fact Fer talking back 20
judge. Sentinel.
He-she is such a charmlngly limo
cent girl. Isn't shef she-Oh. yes she
has taken years to acquire 1.-THE
Tatler.
doctor. II this operation is success
ful III pay you double" Il shall be
entirely satisfied with my regular fee"
Smart Set
Ashiey-Do you have much variety
in your boarding housef Seymour
Well, we have three different names
for the meais.-The World.
what did father say when you
asked him for mey" "IIe didn't say
anything He fell on my neck and
wept-"-chcago Record Herald.
Mistress-DId the mustard plaster do
you any good. Bridget? Mald-Yes;
but, begorry, mum. nj do bite the
tongue .-Philadelphla Inquirer.
walter. get me a newspaper so !
can hide my yawns; this concert is so
stupid" yes. miss: I'll bring the
largest can ind-"-Fliegende Batter.
Have you ever loved and lostg"
sighed the swain Nope" responded
the maiden. promptly. 1--WE won every
breach OF promise suit ! ever brought
Cleveland Leader.
Ella-Fm to be married tomorrow,
and I'm terribly nervous. stella-Yes;
suppose there always is a chance OF
the man getting away up 10 the last
minute.-Philadelph Inquirer
Howard-why did he marry her al
all II he were going TO get a divorce so
speedily Coward Because be didn't
think II would be honorable to break
their observation-disclosures Press
Guest Gin cheap restaurant)-
here. waiter. / thought told you to
bring me a strong cup OF coffee. Wait
er-well. ,wot's de matter Wild dat cup7
Youse couldn't break 1t wild a ak"
Niece-Uncie. they say that there IRE
more marriages OF blondes than Of bru-
nettes. Why is II. wonders Uncle
Singleton Ga confirmed bachelor)-
HIM, Naturally. the light headed one
go FIRST
ylllager (to moiorist whose machine 4
has struck fence and thrown hiii
forty feet into the yard)-Dld yon
have an accidentg Motorist (pickins
himself up)-Biess you. no: that's the
way i always stop.
But" said the fair maid. you seem
rather young 10 be wearing the title
or colonel Anyway. replied the
beardless youth. 1--WE participated in
seventeen summer engagements."-
Cleveland Daily News.
The Parson-I intend TO pray that
you may forgive Casey for throwing
that brick at you. The Patient-Mebbe
yer riv'rence nd be saving tonne II
ye'd just wait TIL OF get well. and then
pray for Casey Sloper's.
"I've got you down for a couple of
tickets. Were getting up a rattle for
a poor man OF our neigh None
for me. thank you. I wouldn't know
what TO do With a poor man II ! won
him. --Philadelphia Press
when viii your heart soften to
ward me enough TO let me marry your
iaughtery' Il don't think with my
heart. but with my brains" Then
tell me. please. when can ! expect yov
70 get softening OF the brainf"
Mrs. Stubb-It states In this maya
tine. John. that the shortest men on ,
,arth are the Laplanders Mr.. Stubb- a
I'm, They couldn't be any shorter
han an American man after his sum I
ner vacation.-Chlcago Daily News a
yes" remarked the race horse. ~all Z
ny achievements have been due sim n
dy TO putting my best foot forward" v
'YesY' replied the mule. "Now. End A
hat l accomplish most by putting my Z
lest foot backward - Philadelphia n
'ress. n
Elevator Boy-Elevator going up Il
leaf Old Lady-which way is II go
ng. bubf Elevator Boy (Impatientlyi q
-Upi Upl Up. Upl Deaf Old .
.ady (indignantly)-You talk to me. s.
,ub, as II you thought was a trained q
og =
Towne-I never saw man who was 81
o fond OF entertaining as Henpeck is. o
is really remarkable. Browne-Oh. {
hats not so strange. You see. his :
life is quite pleasant to him when q
here's company In the house.-Phlla- n
elphIa Press. y
Augusta" said Mr. wyss when the p
uarrel was at Its height. you have =
evised a great variety OF ways to call ~
IL a fool" Merely a matter Of neces- u
ty," replied Mrs. wyss. "You have y y
svised so many ways Of being one."- =
he Bohemian. =
Brown say. Jones. can you tell me
no was the greatest financier that
'er llvedf Jones-No. can't. Brown o.
Well, II was Noah. Jones-How do 81