The Washington herald., 1908-08-09
-. n.r u...,-... II

We've seven she said sure
The hrst two said Place ike this
They never o1ild endure
The next tast oame. she stayed o.e day
she vas c1I named Jane
And when she found We dined AZ seTen
Sis took the evening trsil-
-'But seven minus three I sid
That ssrely leaves but fosi-"
No, we've Eot seven, the little maid
Mads answer. as befo-e-
I've tod JOE Jans. she stayed ore day.
Then Anns. then Lucy cme-
And there vas ore eft lsst week,
But I forgot her name
And Co1sin Kate sent out cook
weck ugo ro-5ay.
shs iesI tsis morning FoLEs next door
Thsy offered her more pay
''Ho~ many have you. then sid :.
'-St1oe that o1e went next dcorF
ffWhy have sever he 1rIle mzl1
RsDestsd. o'sr ard o'ez
Bat they are gone. / cried they e ESne
But sriu she shook her head.
Twas throwing words away; for SUI
TIE little maid wozld have hex VII
And We've Eor seven she said
A simple END.
That lightly draws irs breath.
What sh0ald u know coz EeCQilg COOKS
J-z- worries one 20 deatkt
Taking about cooks makes me think
Il something q friend OF mine told ne
The other day It suggested possibilities
10 me. Perhaps there may be more subtle
methods Of persuading a cook 10 stay
than that Of Gen Blank. He used to sit
In the kitchen with q shotgun whenever
his cook threatened 10 leave and point
the weapon al her Till she became con-
tented with her lot.
You remember that excellent cook Car
re I had last year?- my friend says
When shut up the fat for the sumner.
Carrie didn't want TO 90 70 the country
with me. 50 she left. promising by all
she held sacred 10 return 10 ne in the
fan When I came back 10 town she
teIephoned TO say she'd come 10 me next
5ay. but she didn't come either next day
or any other day After a week she tele-
phoned 10 tell ne that she wanted 20
keep the place she had II was with a
woman who keeps an automobile and
lets the maids have II every Thursday
Z was so exasperated al her for keeping
me waiting that week that I told her
over The phone should haunt her when
I died I said I'd follow her CAY and
night and keep blowing a cold breath
down the back Of her neck as long as she
lived Then 7 hung up the phone, took
to my bed, and the elevator boy had two
cooks al rhe door inside Of an hour Car
RE used TO telephone 10 the house now
and then-she was engaged 10 a bell boy
and the assistant janitor-and ask about
ne Just after Easter I had 10 so 10 a
hospital for q serious operation The first
thing remember hearing after the oper-
alton was somebody crying in the han
outside my room and s0mebody. else say
ing Hush When I asked Who il was
the nurse said il was my ccOk- I was
mighty pleased TO have my servant 50
affected. for I'd been thinking she looked
on my going 70 the hospital more in the
light CT a vacation for her than anything
sa6dening- For a week 7 heard every
day that nv cook had called 10 inquire
and every time she came she brought
flowers At last I asked 70 have her
brought into my room. Il wasn't nv
cook a. all L was the faithless Carrie
She begged me 10 say wasn't going 70
die. and I was dattered Til she recalled
10 me ny threat she said she hadn't
slept a wink since she knew I vas i'll.
and she certainly looked f. She begged
ne 10 take the curse of her. and Of
course did, only I told her that If ] was
eyer without q cook and couldn't get one.
I'd send for her and get ready 70 haunt
her II she didn't come. I did think Of
making her come back anyway as soOn
as 1 found I could but I am satisfied 70
keep the cook I have. with a string al
ways on Carrie shouldn't like 10 have
a cold breath on the hack Of my neck my
self"
Young NJ Jones. now in his sophomore
year, is the village cut-up down at Jump
offville-by-rhe-Sea- When I was there
last Saturday he held the whole verandah
spellbcund with his latest ouip.
"A man had a dollar" said he. and
spent 90 cents Of It for watermelon.
Then he got on a street car. Why couldn'r
he pay his fare2"
Everybody guessed The answer was
certain 10 be excruciatingiy funny II YOU
could only hit upon it.
Did he lose his dime" the pretriest
girl asked.
7 see you don't understand" said
young Mr. Jones. and he repeated care
fully. and slowly
A man had a dollar and spent 50 cents
OF il for watermelon. Then he got on
a street car Why couldn't he paw his
fare?'
The prettiest girl confessed she couidn',
guess what prevented him
Wouldn't they let him carry the vvat-
ermelOn2' asked the middle-aged man
Young Mr.. Jones looked at him pity
ingiy-
7 see you don't understand he said
"A man had q dollar and spent 90 cents
OS it for a watermelon. Then he got OF
q street car Why couldn't he pay hi:
faree~
I bite said the niddle-aged man
The laughs on me Why couldn't hep
Young Mr. Jones leaned forward in
pressively
7 see you don't understand" he said
a man
That WAS al could endure. 7 vvent
away 10 seek solitude and soda water and
feel my age Surely. in my youth Il
wasn't screamingly funny TO go on ask
ing a question and never telling the
answer. When I came within earshoi
again young Nj Jones. now in his soph-
omore year. was saying 10 the real estate
man. 7 see YOU don't understand" The
prettiest girl told me next dav that be,l
keep il up all night L you'd let him thai
saying. I see you don't understand %
She says he's too funny for words.
think he is-that is. for any words il would
be polite 10 say And on the train. as
! came back 10 town. the young man II
the seat in front said 20 the man acros.
the aisle
There was man who had . dollar
He spent 80 cents Of it
So I changed ny seat
A long line Of perspiring hunanity
stretched an irnpatieut or1e71s f-o-7 n.