The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-02-21

Mrs Justwed-How do yoa like those
oranges? Mrs. Justwed-I think the
dealer handed you a lemon.
1 Penner-The critics roasted your
book, didn't they? Scriblet-Yes; but
not enough to insure its success.-Life.
We've lost our cook again That's
never happened to me-" is that so7
How did you manage it?" II married
Iher.'-Detroit Free Press.
Madam, beware of man with black
eyes Huh! he amt dangerous
That's my husband; gave him them
eyes last night. Houston Post.
/ He-How can repay you for that
delightful waltz? She (whose train has
|suffered)-Oh, don't repay me, settle
with my dressmaker.-Ally Sloper.
Daughter Father went off in good
humor this morning. Mother-My!
That reminds me- | forgot to ask him
for any money.-Christian Advocate.
| Miss Rosy-George says he admires
me because l am the picture Of health
Miss Pale-Yes; the silly fellow was
always crazy for anything hand-paint-
ed.
i He's wonderful actor" Think
SO" Yes. Notice how passionately
ne makes love to the leading lady in
the last act?" yep" "Well, she's his
4 Wife - H1nvolor1
with 100000" said the man of ex
pansive ideas, II could make a fortune
In Wall street" YES rejoined the
piker, but whose fortune would yon
make Star.
n YES am going to marry Mr.. Bull
lion.' why, he is old enough to be
your father!" II know he is, but. M
fortunately, he doesn't seem to care for
mother. '-Courier-J Journal.
"A My daughter is going to marry
millionaire" isn't that nice? Who
Is he, and when Is the wedding to be?"
II don't know yet. She's just joined
the chorus. Detroit Free Press.
what Is your idea of classical mu-
slc?' WELL" answered Miss Cumrox,
"as / understand it. classical piece is
written by some one whose name Is
very hard to pronounce" washington
Star
Husband - What! Another new
dress? Wife-Well, don't be 50 cross.
bought it with my own money! Hus-
band-Your own? Where did you get
1t from? Wife-I sold your fur coat
Bocia.
yes" remarked Farmer Corntossel,
"my boy, Josh, gets good deal O fun
out of automobiling But he doesn't
own machine" "Of course not. He's
one O the county constables. "-Wash-
ington Star.
Law Is not so harsh as it used to be.
For instance, in the time Of Henry
!; VIII football was crime, while now
1t is seldom regarded as anything more
than more or less fatal msdemeanor.
indianapolis News.
Clara-Of course, one Of the annoy
ing things about moving into new
neighborhood is the idle curiosity of
some neighbors-- Mabel - That
doesn't bother me as much as the busy
curiosity Of the others.
81 suppose" remarked the dear girl,
that you do not believe in love at first
sight?' ooh, yes, I do,' rejoined the
old bachelor ''If men were gifted with
second sight they would never fall in
'ove"-London Opinion.
Gabriel have blown my trumpet
three times and nobody pays any at
tention to it. Israel-That's strange.
isn't it? People just make a hasty
jump for the curbstone, and then look
to see which way the auto VENT
Cleveland Leader.
.You never can tell" observed Uncle
Allen Sparks, "what lasting results may
be accomplished by an earnest word
spoken at the right time. Many man
has had the shape of his nose changed
for life by calling another man liar"
Chicago Tribune.
Mr.. Gailey-Somebody's stolen oul
dog again. That's d Mrs.
Galley Chastity interrupting) George
George! Don't swear about it. Mr..
Gailey-Who's swearing? | was just
going to say It's dog-gone big relief.
Philadelphia Press.
az suppose you go to the city at least
once a year." said the summer boarder.
81 used tew," replied the old farmer.
''but amt been thar fer nigh onto
three years meow. Since we got rural
free delivery I kin git buncoed jist as
we'll by mail, b'gosh '-Chicago News.
A lot of poor children were at a
farm. The farmer gave them some
milk to drink, the product Of a prize
COW mHnw do YOU like ttI" he asked,