Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-03-19
Foolish People
Josephine Discusses tho 0Ifts
7hey Give
Suddenly my Josephine lifted he
tuneful little voice, exclainssng:

Augustus!
To which we made response, Is
ever:
my lover"
| Whereupon Josephine clasped her
knee, sighed, shook her head, looked
at the fire again and murmured:
Augustus! What f-o-o-o-o-o-oolish
things some persons buy for pres
ents!"
She turned and lifted her wistful
little mouth, tremulous for my judy
ment upon this the fruits of her philos-
ophy, and kissed her then and there
right tenderly, knowing that If l
seemed to SCOT or scorn the erudition
of her saying or the depth of the view
with which she regarded life her
bright-blue eyes would fill with tears
and her gentle heart would break.
Those folks next door began
Josephine with sniff.
She stopped so that we might sniff
together a conjugal snifY Of utter con-
tempt and derision at the folks next
door.
Those folks next door," repeated
Josephine. What do you suppose he
bought herr"
"a new bonnet, hope!" / cried
| with sudden energy, basking already
in Josephine's smiles, for the bonnets
of the woman next door were to Jose
phine the theme for many a busy hour
| and shining mark at which we ever
| aimed the polished darts of our irony
| and the daggers of our wit.
mo, not a bonnet" exclaimed jose
| phine, and we laughed right merrily
together until Josephine checked her
self with start of disappointment
and murmured in sad reproach:
Augustus"
| To which we lovingly replied:
| "My lover"
Augustus! You are smoking!"
| looked at her in sudden guilt and
with a premonition of what was now
to come.
Augustus" she breathed.
"My love?"
| Augustus! Your smoking capt"
With a feeling of despair and sor-
row l arose to my feet, but Josephine's
was dropping and knew that II were
to refuse her implied request she
would wither and droop like a gath
cred flower and her dream of love
would end in darkest night.
| Wherefore I went to the hall rack,
placed my smoking cap upon my head
and returned to Josephine. 1t was a
round smoking cap of light blue vel
vet (such, believe, as the gentry of
Turkey wear and call fezes) and 1t
was trimmed with beads. On one side
was dragon rampant, with his tongue
stuck out-this detail being ingenious
ly executed with beads of scarlet
color-so that, being seen from this
side, 1 was an inspiration of horror
and the terror of all beholders. On
the other side was butterfly slipping
honey from a flower and looking peace.
full and pastoral beyond words-so that
being regarded from that side, mute
ly bore reference to jocund life redo.
lent with the scent of new-mown hay
and musical with the lowing of the
kline. This inspiring cap was crowned
with golden tassel which tickled my
nose and my ears with a titilative
impartiality that 1 could only escape
by coiling the tassel upon the top Of
the cap and balancing it there.
And thus equipped l sat me down
to smoke.
81 never" cried Josephine, clasp
ing her knee again in a transport. 81
never saw such handsome cap!
Never! He looks SO fierce!"
'The butterfly, my lover"
Augustus! No! The dragon!"
l turned the saucy dragon to the
back of my head SO that Josephine
could feast her eye upon the butterfly
and then l smoked as though my to
bacco were never so sweet as when
smoked it in my smoking cap.
1.-THE moment saw it I knew it was
for you!"- cried Josephine. land
was so afraid that it would be sold
on me.
Il But 1t wasn't.
mo! And, Augustus! She was the
incest salesgirl! told her, love. thai
your eyes were blue and she said II
was just the thing for you. oh, I wal
trembling with excitement. She SAID
you would look SO distinguished In IT,
The tassel slipped down and ticklet
my ear. / coiled 1t back and smoked
on.
"And what do you suppose sht
bought him next door," laughed Jose
phine, and breathlessly answered. "A
walking stick!"
"Never!" / cried.
+ Augustus, Yes! A silver-handlet
walking stick, and he came out swing
ing it this morning. Such a 100000
oolish present. II it were something
useful like that jewel case you gave
/ me-
The clock interrupted her by begin
ming to strike nine. 1t was the hour
Josephine gave me a solemn look an(
nod and Immediately I fetched hel
jewel case.
With another solemn look Josephine
unscrewed her earrings and placed
them in the jewel case. Her ring fol
lowed. Dutifully then / gave her my
scarfpin and sleeve links. Josephine
solemnly locked the box and looked a
me at last with beaming eye.
"There!" said Josephine.
"Therel" said I.
Now we can sleep in peace" sale
my beloved, land have nothing to re
proach ourselves with either, like
those silly persons who give each 9th
er walking sticks and s-s-s-s-s-s-silver
mounted carrying sets!"
Army's Ration at One Meal.
4 Utica, N. Y.-After winning a be-
of $40 by consuming three pounds o.
sauer kraut, two ten-cent loaves o.
bread, two pounds Of potatoes, three
cups of tea, two glasses Of beer, sir
cups of water, a pound and one-hal
Of steak, and three d. en- fried eggs