Condon globe. (Condon, Gilliam Co., Or.) 189?-1919, 1908-01-31


Mistress Certainly, II I can,
Mary Jane--well would you kindly
70 and speak 10 my young man az the
back door till make myself tidyf-
London Telegraph.
visltor--How do you do Tommy
I've come 10 stay at your house
week. aud I'm sure you can't even
guess who am,
Tommy--i'n bot you one thing.
Visitor whatf
Tommy-I'n bet you're no relation OF
fathers. -Harper'a Weekly.
II hardly think" said the lawyer,
shat you can get separation from
your wife on account OF her habit Of
throwing things at the dog"
"But." said the man. with the hag.
gard look and the black eye. "every
time she throws at the dog she hits
me. Liverpool Mercury,
"Are you going to settle anything on
your daughterr" asked the fashionable
young man with the cigarette and Ian.
guild air.
"well, Il rather looks n she marries
you that she In going to settle some
thing on me-" replied the parent
Yonkers Statesman.
"Never marry a man to reform him.
dear"
II won't. auntie. Aud III promise
you another thing"
"What IL that. my ehildr
II win never reform q man for some
other girl to marry."-st Paul Pioneer
Press
~ understand that he has long been
a student Of political economy" said
the visitor
"He has" said Senator Glucose. "and
his economy In politics haa kept him
out OF ONCE He thinks he can be
elected without spending a cent
Town and Country.
"Ah." said the press humorist. II
sec you have cut out QUE Of my jokes."
"Ha, bar
"Found II funny. did your
Excuse me for laughing. old man
What cut out was nm ad. on the 9th
or aide Of the page."-New Orleans
Times Democrat.
The roy9i marines Of England are
the only sailors In the world who do
not take on their hats to their superior
nfftaawa fsha rR.at -, q ~ft.Aa pasna..a
their gold trimmed bats only when
the king himself passes them In review
and when they are attending church.
London Chronicle.
stranger-what sort OF a man h
your nelghbor. John Braggsi
Native-oh. he's all right, but he has
a telescopic imagination.
stranger-A telescope imaginatiouf
Native-Yea. lie can't even toll the
truth without getting II at least two
sizes larger than II is.-Chlcago News.
Don't want II. ehf' angrlly cried
the unsuccessful contributor. Il don't
suppose there's anything ! could write
that you would acceptY'
mo, | reckon not" replied the editor.
~ don't suppose you could write q
check for years subscription. could
yer'-Phlladelphia Press.
The first man who discovered gold
In Australia was hanged for his pains
He was one Of the flrst convicts trans
ported to Botany Bay. and when he
learned the great secret he brought q
sample to show his success and was
promptly hanged for attempted escape
London Mail.
The speed Of an otter under water
Is amazing. Fish have no chance
against them. In some places In India
offers are kept by the natives to fish
for them. They are tied up to stakes
like dogs when not working. wear
plated Straw collars and seem to be
quite contented.
"why do you dislike poetry 90
muchT
Because" answered the man who
uses scented hair oil, "when you quote
prose very few people can be sure II
isn't m original remark. but when you
quote poetry everybody 10 wise ON the
Observation-Disclosures Star.
Little Elmer-Say, Uncle Bob, what
makes you walk lame? Uncle Bob
There was a street car accident today.
and I got caught in the jam. Little
Elmer-Well, l know how that .is.
Mamma caught me In the Jam one
time, and I walked lame for q week.
Kansas City Independent
A Famous Fiddlsstiek.
The most valuable nddlestick in the
world 10 the one used by Paganini at
his farewell recital, afterward pos.
sessed by Verdi. the great composer.
1t was given by Paganini to his favor
ite pupil, the late Count di Cessole. and
by him bequeathed to Verdi. Many
large sums, ranging from 5000. have
been offered In vain for this unique
possession, and Its estimated value In
s75.O0o.-St. Louis Post.Dispatch.
Not q Magistrate.
"There are some verses I wrote"
said the innocent young man, laying
the paper on the editors desk. "You
NAV vIva mo fnaf what vo,y fhInir %hav