davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11
One Too Many.

"You say you wouldn't like to get
out?" exclaimed the prison visitor.
'sWhy. 1 thought you were in for life"
ooh, worse than that, ma'am," re-
nlied the convict. I'm in for a dou-
BILE life. I've got two wives waiting
outside. "-Philadelp Ledger.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11
Safety Pocket.

Pickpockets would be up against
hard proposition when they tried to
rife the pocket of man equipped
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11
Insulated Screwdriver.

Working around electric wires with
an ordinary screwdriver has been the
cause of numerous injuries to the oper-
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11
Supports Bedclothes.

In the near future the beds in hos
pitfalls will be equipped with the bed
clothes supporter shown In the Illus
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11
Handy Desk Attachment.

An exceedingly convenient addition
to the Office desk is the swinging shelf
shown in the Illustration below, de
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11

Jim Crow telephones are proposed
In Omaha. Why not Jim Crow postage
stamps and Jim Crow milk tickets.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11

You may think you are modest as
flower, but probably your ncighbors
say you have nerve to burn.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11

When one smells a rat" 1t Is not nj
ways necessary to make a noise like
piece Of cheese.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11

Among the many things to the credit
Of Mrs. Russell Sage is the large
amount OF her personal taxes
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11

You are always hearing people talk
about a jolly good time. Did you ever
have one? They are quite rare.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11

The child itself very often endeavors
to sQuirm out, thereby overbalancing
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11

The vainest people are usually those
who have no reason TO be vain.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-03-11
Prevents Child Falling.

Two Indiana inventors deserve credit
for an attachment for children's high
chairs. which they recently designed.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

edition But this situation never thrives. The hus-
band finds shortly that he is not the leading man
in his local paper at election time and the wife
reaps the cold comfort of telling at home and
abroad how she dazzed poor stupids who let our
individuality fade into husbands career the
new service uniforms of our soldiers become part
of the foliage coloring.'
This puzzled me because of something l had heard
about Senator Todd being poor young man whose
future had been opened through Mrs. Todds money.
book.-an after one keen glance she laughed and
added
"Why. if l had not hung the vulgar weight of my
be Ambassado to the Court of ST. James or Presi-
dent by this time
This was very dsheartening after all my plans
for furthering Amoss greatness. | was even going
Evening star., 1908-01-26
LETTERS FROM A NEW 4
CHEESEMAN'S WIFE 49,

out to dinner that night with an avalanche Of mis-
information in regard to revised tariff schedules or
the wheat production in the State he halls from.
There's the woman who always proachfully asks
her dinner partner whether he has not read Her
Supreme Shiver just out, and then w1thholds his
attention by an Ancient Mariners CLASSY eye while
she outlines the plot and descants upon the terrific
passion and blind tragedy; when the poor man
really wants his terrapin and has never thought OF
another woman beyond his good feshy spouse sit
ting opposite and trying dodge like turtle into
her first decoete shell. The old Ambassador who
slenced the his right from probing
about the tional policy OF his country. with.
Madam pardon. l come here to eat, very nearly
represents the spirit with which gracious states
greet the intrusion of politics into formal din
to which they giving conscientious attention
!" But after you have said that the centerp1ece
is lovely and answered about your husbands health,
what are you to talk about?" l asked
Just chit-chat, my dear laughed Mrs Todd.
Its all that is possible here. The maker of an
American salon has not yet been born. Politics
the cares that nfest the day for the men here
the capital, and society is the pest that besets
the night to most of their thinking. They don't
want to mix them any than Kentucky
Colonel wants water in his ticker after sundown.
Any woman who believes that legislative moves
and political ntrigues hatched and matured at
the called brilliant dinner companies here, will
find she has swallowed the east wind; and the states
who, yielding to the charms and diplomatic
probing of fair dinner partner. delivers over the
minutes of executive session. has beaten the
dodo in extinction by million years.
The best helpmeet for Congressman is the
wife who can chatter foolishy who can listen to
platitude if it Wagneran strain. and who
is not afraid of occasional lapses into silence
most of us afraid of pauses as old maids are
of mice. Aside from this it S we'll to be equipped
with supply of patience for dealing with the other
Congressman wives and modest outfit of suitable
frocks.
Sometimes Washington is diverted by the
spectacle of a woman who finding herself endowed
with little money or brains, begins to regard her
husband the funny colored supplement and
herself the solid news sheet in the family hreside
Evening star., 1908-01-26

Washington, even though don't know whether my
wanderings will bring up against blank wall,
and am sometimes not quite which door
Congressman wife should enter! And the strangest
part Of it is that you standing on the steps
of the monument to the town S unknown dead and
applauding me as l go. l don't how you under
stand it ALL shut up in that stuffy little library in
stuffy little Hopevle.
1t takes a wonderful woman to get apprecia-
ton of life outside her
| am of the Peter Bell variety.-hg leaves sug
gest merely sartoria necessity and things have to
happen to me before they be. Emotions that
read about made of printers ink; those hear
people tell about impress me as much as the in
structions of guide book the description of
seven-gored skirt But when | live them
Oh. Eta l simply love the life here! 1t seems
as if our pet Jersey might have claimed cousinship
with the Beulah Rural who left Hopeve two months
ago. and without presumption. But now | have
changed the foolish exatation with which | reached
Washington and several varieties of bunders for
sense of humor and taste of life,-plants that do
not thrive in Hopeville any more than breadfruit
trees would flourish the front lawns there
French heeled slippers in Main-st But of it
is in my efforts to understand matters enough to
further Amos's career, that my great interest in
Washington life lies.
Mrs Todd, however, was quite discouragng in
a conversation along this line. Don't get any
mistaken idea about the American
political influence" she said. because she just
can't make that perch" Mrs, Todds bits of slang
do "trippingly on the tongue. but with
the effort of foreigners parade of an English
idiom, and her elation is dear
Really" she continued, the more of nOnen-
Evening star., 1908-01-26

wife should be able to make good hostess for him,
that she should not convey atmosphere of the
washing powder and strong soap Of their domesti-
caly struggling days; but the more confused leg
islatve bill is with the grocers account in her
mind, the more bhndly she is convinced that her
nusoanG 1;.s andas the stump orator out IN Mime
good Swedeman' could the Government the
better she is acting her part.
Il am getting old that every once in awhile l
take season off, sitting in comfortable chair
back the Washington porch and watching the
procession go by; and getting up at daybreak to
see the circus unload brought greater compen
sation to the country boy.
There's the woman who attends a course of
morning lectures current topics. in order to be
able to overwhelm the tired Senator who takes her
Evening star., 1908-01-26

about the eyes that the Speaker had no idea of his
guests identity; but without moments hesitation
he grasped the extended hand and brought his other
hand pounding down upon the mans shoulder as
he exclaimed jocularly:
And the Devil he came also!
The man was SO filled with pleasure the
familiarity that there wasn't space for suspicion as
to the exactitude of his place in the Speakers
memory. He declared that in his State they
thought the Speaker was the greatest man in the
country, and that they would never forget the
speech the Speaker made out there in the last
presidential campaign, when prominent citizen
seated the platform had diverted the audience
to the point of disorder by futile attempts to unite
his befuddled palms in applause, and the Speaker
had saved the day by viewing the situation and
remarking, "Our friend reminds me forcibly OF the
Democratic party, in its repeatedly unsuccessful
Evening star., 1908-01-26
WAsHINGToN. d. c.

WASHINGTON. d. c.
AR ETA: Take me by the hand
and lead me back to the simple
life of Hopeville. where my soul
was bounded by the foreign mis-
sionary box and the newest pat
tern of crocheted baby sacks, just
as that peaceful horizon is inclosed
by the fantastic spirals of smoke
from the wooden mill chimneys.
and watch me run back into the
modern labyrinth of this life at
Evening star., 1908-01-26

ne mas risen TO OIIeT
his bill and had the
Speaker calmly survey
the horizon through his
spinal column.
| have come to the
conclusion that the
Speaker is an awfully
shrewd and clever man.
That day while we were
in his room, ,-you know,
during the holidays
there is no messenger
guarding the door and
no fornality in presen-
tation,-a man with a
sombrero and fur lined
coat came bursting in.
He made for the little
man standing beside his
desk, exclaiming, I've
come miles to see you,
Mr.. Speaker"
l could see from a GER
-. 1.
Evening star., 1908-01-26

to get material from Captain Roderique for great
speech explaining the merclless persecution to
which his King had been subjected Captain Rod
cirque had assured that such speech would
make Amos famous
HOWEVER, in little way, 1 able to help
= AmoS's prospects the very next morning. We
had gone up to the Speakers room, because Amos
wanted to find out things from the House parlia
mentarian. That's the why we did not go back
to Hopeville for the holidays: Amos took the time
to investigate rulings and generally get his bearings
for future action the floor of the House, be-
cause he hadn't been able even to make motion
far And we were surprised to find the Speaker
at his desk too.
with Amos and, in making his quaint little half
curtsy. his glasses rafting down his waist
coat. Amos stopped to catch them but finally
had to scratch them out of the depths of a barrel
when he got up. and when Amos loses his wind
he sometimes isn't quite tactful: l jumped
right in and under a sudden inspiration remarked:
& mind 1a Amos; st MI many man has to work
The Speaker smiled at and said. Hear.
heari" approvingly; then he put on the spectacles
and looking quizzically over the top of them at
Amos said about that agricultural college bill
of yours, Rural Just call my attention to that
from the floor next suspension day, will your"
And few days after the recess was over Amos
did get recognition from the chair and his special
bill went through.
Mr. Tea1e told me about it and when asked Amos
why he hadn't telephoned to have me come up and
him do it. he said it was good deal like asking
to witness your capturing pie through
the pantry window: ten to one the window would
come down your fingers, and it quicknesS
of action and not gallery finish that brought Sue
cess.
Mr. Teale said it did make Congressman feel
that way though the Speaker always valves their
thanks aside afterward and declares that it is their
right not special privilege extended by him, and
the member stralghtway torgets all the other times
Evening star., 1908-01-26

tity a public man S
wife makes herself,
in the United States,
the better the man
gets along. Of course
| am speaking in re-
gard to the political
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-05-26
NONTCLA|R HIGH
BEATEN By N. H. S.
IN CLOSE GAME
Newark Team Is Now Tied for
Lead in Scholastic
League.

Newark High Schools baseball team
climbed a peg higher in the Inter
scholastic League yesterday by captur-
ing a close game from the Montclair
High School team.
For the first two innings yesterday the
Newark boys went out In ORDER, but In the
third they broke into the run column.
Brown singled, was sacrificed to second,
went TO third on Barkhorn's hit, and scored
on Franzen's long fly to left garden. Raeh,
lin flied to shortstop and the inning ended
with one run for the Newark lads.
In the next inning the visitors again
scored. Abeles made a clean hit. was sacri-
feed by Speary to second, but Brown, OF
Montclair, dropped the throw and both men
were safe. Maxwell nit a long fly to Beck,
stein, whose throw was too late to head
off Abeles. Speary then beat Jenkins's
throw to the plate for the second tally, and
Brown grounded TO Brown. Nc further
scoring was lone by either team until the
last half of the ninth.
Holton, of Montclair, flied to Abeles. Nc
Chic was safe on Speary's error, went 70
third on Jenkins's hit; Jenkins was ad-
vanced to second as KEENAN, walked. Then
Rachlin walked another man and forced III
a run. Meyer hit to Brown, who made q
poor throw home to head off the man, Sc
Jenkins was safe at the plate. Brown nice
to Marlatt and his return throw Kept the
runners on the sacks. Wilson famed. ano
the game was over.
Newark H. S.. 0 o 0 0 0 0 %
Montclair H. ST.. 0 0 0 0 0 . D U -
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-05-26
WOMEN TO PLAY FOR
METROPOLITAN TITLE.

Twenty-Five entries have been re-
ceived for the metropolitan women's
golf championship, which will begin
today on the links of the Essex County
Country Club at West Orange. The
most noted among the entrants are
Miss Georgiana Bishop, of Bridgeport,
Conn and Miss Julia Mix, of Engle-
wood. These clever golfers We're the
winner and runner-up respectively at
the metropolitan championships last
year. They will probably be paired to-
gether in the qualifying round today.
Some of the other noted players n
tered are: Miss Bertha Graham, of
Paterson; Mrs. Charles L.. Tiffany, of
Nassau; Mrs. w. Fellowes Morgan, OF
Baltusrol; Miss Elizabeth Hurry, of
Apawamis. M Mrs. S. F. Lefferts, of
Englewood. There may be a few ad-
ditional entries when the time comes
to start. The number of competitors Is
much larger than last year.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-05-26
TO
BET 100000
ON SEAS|Ck II
Prepared to Back Vanderbilt
Horse to the Very Limit in
Three Races.

The American bred colt Seasick H.,
owned by w, *. Vanderbilt, is a strong
favorite for the three greatest events
on the European running turf, some
thing never known before.
Seasick is to start in the French
derby at Chantilly May 81, the English
derby at EPSON downs on June 8, and
eleven days later will be back in France
trying for the Grand Prix at Paris.
Men who have watched the perform
ances of Seasick during the present
season believe that he will surely win
at least two of the events. Such a feat
would be unique.
Mr.. Vanderbilt has had phenomenal
luck this season. His stable has already
won for its owner 1000, 900 francs. 1t is
probable before the season is ended that
the winnings will amount to almost
thrice this sum.
Extraordinary arrangements are max
ing to remove Seasick to England inn
mediately after the Chantilly derby
The %closeness of the two great racing
events will tax the colts power to the
utmost. In order to avoid all %unneces-
sary fatigue Mr. Vanderbilt has char
tered a special train in which to carry
his colt from Chantilly to either Calais
or Boulogne Immediately after the
French derby is run The route is not
yet finally decided on, md vii depend
on the weather.
At the French port the special train
will be met by a special steamer in
which the most elaborate arrangements
have been made to prevent the coll
suffering from the effects of the sea
voyage. These arrangements include g
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-05-26
Lacquer
IMPROVES AFTER
SCOUT SEES HIM
More Than One Look Is NeCes-
sary to Get Line on Play
er's Ability.

Its a hard thing for a baseball mar
to forget his first impressions of a play
err" says President Frank j. Navin, OF
the Detroit club to Paul Bruske of the
Detroit Times. He will go out and
look at some man who has been recon-
mended as sure big league timber and
will see a weakness which seems fatal
to the ans success. Accordingly, the
player gets turned down and remains
in the minors.
Then perhaps some other club will
come through a year or two after with
a scout who has heard similar good re
ports about the player. The man will
impress the expert favorably and, on
his recommendation, will be drafted or
purchased.
when the first man who looked at
the pitcher hears of the deal he usually
laughs in his sleeve and makes un-
favorable comments on the perspica-
city of the scout who stood for the
recommendation. And still, quite often,
the mar makes good.
Nov, the chances are the scouts
sized the mar up correctly each time.
The player wasn't eligible to fast com
pany the first time. He was cherry
ripe the second occasion. The player
mad simply improved to an extent
where he had mastered the weakness.
Nowadays 1 am keeping track of
the men turned down by our scouts on
first inspection. and am sending our
1905 corps out to look over the same
men, along with the new talent recon-
mended. I think I've learned some
thing by experience"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-05-26
Pennsylvania RAILROAD
Bulletin.
MEMoRnAL nav az TEE SHORE.

Memorial Day, May 80, marks the opening of the Sum
rer season at the great seashore resorts of the New Jersey
Coast Occurring this year on Saturday, thousands will avail
themselves of the opportunity of visiting one of the forty
pleasure places which line the one hundred and twenty-five
miles of ocean beach.
Asbury Park and Long Branch will be especially attrac-
tive on Memorial Day. The entire beach front of Asbury Park
There will be fine band concerts in the Arcade, a hgh h class
theatrical entertainment at the Casino; all the boat docks on
Deal Lake will be opened and surf bathing will be inau-
guratcd.
Long Branch will have a special G. A. r. celebration
with a street parade in the morning and a patriotic address
In the afternoon. Bicycle races will be held at Manasquan.
An elaborate celebration will be held at Wildwood. There
will be a big parade, a Maypole dance on the beach, the launch
ing of the floral boat in honor of dead naval heroes, and a big
baseball game. Sea Isle City will hold a similar celebration.
Ocean City will celebrate the day more quietly but not the
less delightfully."-.
Atlantic City and Cape May will be important points of
interest for Memorial Day parties. The delights Of these two
resorts are too we'll known TO need description. All the Summer
pleasures will be inaugurated.
The Pennsylvania Railroad affords direct and convenient
service to all these resorts. Increased service to and from Long
Branch and Asbury Park under the early summer schedule
has been recently established. To Atlantic City through trains
leave Newark at 1927 A. NJ. 327 P. M. week days; I55 PM.
Saturdays only; $40 A. M. Sundays. Connecting trains for
Cape May leave New York 756 A. NJ. week days, II so A. M.
Sundays. Time tables may be obtained Of any ticket Office.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-05-26
CATHOLIC SCHOOL
BOYS ARE GETTING
READY FOR MEET
Young Athletes Working Out for
the Games to Be Held
on June IL.

Members of the Parochial School
boys Athletic League are in daily prac-
tise for>the coming meet which will be
held at Hillside Park on Friday, June
II.
A feature of the ten events to be run off
is the throwing of a baseball for distance.
This is a new event in sehoolboy circles and
will probably prove popular. Mayor Hauss-
ling will be present and will fire the gun
for the start of the first event. Bishop
John j. O'Connor, honorary president of
the league, will also be present.
Gold, silver and bronze medals will be
given to the first. second and third in
each event, except the relay races. where
the members of the winning team will re-
ceiye silver medals and the second team
bronze medals. The Rev. e. f. Quirk,
treasurer of the league, has also offered
a gold medal for the all-around champion
ship. A gold medal has also been offered
by the Rev. A. L Clark, of st. Joseph's,
for the boy scoring the most points for st.
Entries fer the games will close June 5
with Frank Coghlan, rs New street, and
with the Rev. E. F; Quirk, 80 Wallace
ceived yesterday from st. Johns School,
of Orange. The entries from this school
number ~seventy-ive.
The officers OF the league are: The Right
president; Bernard j. Owens Young Mems
Father Mathew T. A. B. S., president: John
Flanagan of Belleville, vice president;
Charles Kraft, st. Augustine's. correspond
ing secretary; Joseph Ward, st. Mary's, re-
eording secretary; the Rev. E. F. Quirk,
st. Joseph's, treasurer.
The events are:
60-yard Dash (for midgets)-Open only for
boys not over 10 nor under IL years, and
under four feet ten inches.
600-yard Relay Qor midgets)-Same con-
dltlonS, each boy 10 run $50 yards,
75-yard pash-Open to any parochiai
school boy.
22O-yard Dash-open to any parochial
school boy.
ssO-yard Dash-open to any parochial
school boy.
Running High Jump-Open.
Running Broad Jump-Open.
Throwing Baseball for Distance-Open.
S-pound Shot-put-Open.
SSO-yard Relay (senior)-Four boys to con-
stitute a team, each boy to run 22O yards.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-05-26
The BEST SPORTING PAGES IN new JERSEY 'T ssz EE#5!!#..
HOME RUNS FREQUENT
IN YESTERDAYS GAMES

with an average resembling that of u
own AL Pardee.
Jimmy Casey, the sawed-off third
baseman of the Montreal team, hoisted
the ball over the left field fence in the
morning game against Newark at Mon
treal. Hanford, of Jersey City, turned
a similar trick at Rochester, and Mil
ligan got a homer out of his system in
the game against Providence. So much
for the Eastern League.
Harry Davis, of Philadelphia. who
led the American League last season In
these round trip wallops. got in a
homer against Cleveland, and Schultz,
of Chicago, helped the Cubs beat New
York with another of those four-fur-
long drives.
In the Atlantic League Coultz made
a homer in the game between Sha-
mokin and Easton, and Bowers in the
session between Reading and Phila-
delphia.
In a game between Royersford and
Pottstown a fellow named Hagan made
two home runs, and Bowman and
Weaver m apiece.
The box scores of the college games
show where a player named Heveron,
of Villa Nova. made a circuit drive
against Lower Merton near Philadel-
phia.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-05-26

padded box stall mounted on giant hell
copters, which will maintain the stall
m~otionless, however much the ship may
toss. At Folkestone another special
train will be waiting to convey the colt
to EPSON, there to compete for the
blue ribbon of the English turf
This trip alone will cost Mr.. Wander
bilt $4,000. The same arrangements will
be utilized to bring the colt back to
France after the English derby to COM
pete for the Grand Prix in Paris. The
only other case on record of such elabo-
rate arrangements made for carrying a
horse between France and England was
that of Edmond Blanc's Vinicius, which
won the English derby a few years
ago.
Sporting Americans in Europe are
prepared to back the Vanderbilt colt to
their limit. 1t is estimated that he will
carry more than $1,000, 900 of American
money to the starting posts.