Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-09-25
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WIN ASaiig ClijoS III HtdlIl.
Before altering her complexion a
woman always makes up her mind.
The average married man wastes a
lot of sympathy on his wife's husband.
Jack-Yes, poor John may have had
his faults but his heart was on the
right side. Wagge-Is it possible? No
wonder he died
Mistress-YOu can't entertain your
company in the parlor Bridget-0i
can't? Why num- didn't yez hear him
laughin' fit to shplItY
Il presume this is Lovers Lane"
You forget that ours is a strictly fash
ionable suburb "Ah?o This is AZ
fnity Avenue Puck.
What makes old Blank so uneasy
when a motor ear comes along?' why.
his wife ran away in one, and he Is
always afraid she is coming back.
"The man who wrote Curses. like
chickens, come home to roost---'"
''WeIl?" Must have had different
neighbors from what I've got."-Hous-
| ton (Texas) Post
| This gas bin is only for 10 cents"
wen. sir?" Couldn't you add 81?
I've been writing my wife that I'm
spending my evenings at home."--Lou-
isvillc Courier-Journal.
MY dear" remarked a gentleman,
opening the dining room door, the girl
left the vegetables on the hail table"
Don't be so stupid" exclaimed his
wife, THAT is my new hat"
She--John, what is a stock quota
tion7 He Ton the wrong side of the
market Huh guess "A fool and his
money are soon parted" is a pretty good
example. ~ Boston Transcript.
Mrs De style SO your baby girl Is
three weeks old; my, how time flies.
Mrs Gunhusta Yes; just think, in
thirty years from now she viii be twen-
ty-one years old.The Sphinx.
''You say you read every word Of tha
advertisements in that magazines"
YES" answered Miss Cayenne, ITS n
relief to find something that Isn't in
dialect Washington (p CO Star,
4 She (sternly) This memorandum /
found in your pocket, Ribbon Cor the
/ typewriter" looks black. He (sur-
, prised OF course il does. It's the Ink
of the old ones. baltimore American.
Mother-What did Mrs Meanly give
! you for cutting her grass2 Willie
) Nothing. Mother Why she pr 1maed
you 10 cents, didn't she? WILEY Yes,
but used her sickle to do It with and
she charged me 10 cents for the use OF
Pioneer Press
"I'n take your damage case" said the
lawyer, helping TO his feet the man just
hit by an automobile THANK you,
replied the victim, I'm not much hurt.
but recognized that mcasy chauffeur.
: Ie may have case for you later. ''--
Philadelphia Public Ledger. :,
Englishman Tin British Museum, -
This book. sir, was once owned by
Cicero. American Tourist pshaw Z
that's nothing Why, in one Of our.
American museums we have the lead
pencil Noah used to check off the ami.
mails as they came out Of the ark
Tit Bits.
what seems to be the matter with
Mrs Brown? She's ailing 50" Yes,
poor thing she's got one OF those new
tangled diseases" she has? My, how
fortunate she Is. to be sure. Here I've
bad nothing more stylish than lumbago
ana I'm three years older than she is .
Detroit Free Press.
''IIas that girl next door to you stla
got her parlor melodeon?" mo, she
exchanged for cornet I'm glad TO
say" But, gracious II she plays the
cornet that's worse, isn't it2' Not at
all It's only half MS bad She can't
sing while she's playing the cornct. -
Philadelphia Press.
old Lady My little Soy. have you
TO better way to spend this beautiful
afternoon than by standing about idling
away your tlmef Boy amt idling
away my time There's Mr. Rankin
son inside making love to my sister, and
| he is paying me siXpeuce an hour to
watch for pa.-Chips.
! Policeman Ito tenant uf 1ot)--And
| you say the rug was stolen from your
hall Can you give me any particulars
Of II? Tenant Enormously oh, yes.
II was Il fancy reversible rug~red ON
one side and green ON the other POI
, iiccman (impressyely) Alb and
which was the green side Punch.
Il want to put an ad in your PAPER"
,aid the weary looking man. Make it,
Wanted. situation any old job"
Shall i say, wages no objectY" sug-
gcsted the clerk "No, make it object,
matrimony.' IL could get acquainted
with decent job I'd be willing to mar
~ It for life''-Thc Catholic Standard
aud Times.
A Great Invention.
ssTsuf that I1fnhralia Icol-e sc. o,,.r,,tts-