The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1908-12-03
LETTER FROM BILKISs.
Old Folks Still at the Front-schooi
Methods Are Very FauIty-Tha
PREACHERS and Deacons ut it Again.
Old Politics
and Politicians-The Subject Of
Big Hogs.

/ hiHahncs-SOutnern Politici
ana Poiiticians-The Subject o
Big Hogs.
correspondence of The Caucasian
| Enterprise
| Biikinsville, n. c.. Dec. |, 1908.
see by the papers that an In
diana woman who ia seventy-thres
years old hez jist won the prize I'm 2
speiiin' match. This shows that We
old folks air still In the fte. She
larned ter spell erway back yondei
when | larnt, an she larnt hit rite
The way they teech spellin' now, by
sound. an by main strength an awk.
wardness, won't go at all The old
| Blue-Back spellin'-book IL what the
| boys an girls need. This thing oy
payin' teechers big price ter teech
children ter spell by sound an By
| lookin' at objeck lessons won't 20 al
| all. Some ov the spellin'-books hey
picter ov a cat in them an rite
under the picter IL the word eat"
an SO on with picters ov dogs, chick
ems, rabbits an everythin' you kin
think ov. Well. the result IL that
| the boys an girls go ter school fer
erbout ten ov twelve years an when
hit IL awl over they can't spell IBIS
cult" even IL you give them one with
preserves on hit
School IL one ov the most useful
| things in the world, except religion
| an still hit liz gittin' ter be a plum
fraud with awl the new-fangled ways
| they hev ov usin' the school moneys
Ontill they quit hit, I'd advise peo-
pie ter keep their children at home
an larn them how ter work. met
college graduate not long ergo
that didn't know who the father ov
this country wuz.
I see that the preachers an oceans
hev bin hoidin' big meetin' out
West, an one ov them, Bishop Har-
ris, sed that the visit of the Ameri-
can fleet ov battleships to Japan re-
Gently had advanced the cause ov
Christ ten years. This IL a new ar
gyment fer big fleet, an ov course,
| the pollytishuns will use hit fer awl
hit liz worth. : The plan in the future
will be ter carry religion ter the
heather lands in battleships An l
guess they will shoot hit into them
comm an goin'. I'll hev ter becum
| missionary yit, I reckon. az I am
fond ov a gun. These pollytishuns
an preachers do beat aw1. What
they can't think ov ter git your
money IL not worth thinkin' ov.
I see that a copy ov the first al
| manack printed in the United States
recently sold fer 1855, pretty guide
price, I think. The feller that
bought that must be purity fer be-
| hind, fer hit wuz printed erway back
in the year 1900, nearly 800 years
ergo. He could hev got one ov them
Salem almanacks that would bring
him rite up ter date fer only ten
cents an hit IL rite full ov guide
| jokes, too; or he could hev gotten
one ov them medical almanacks that
would hev told him how ter git cured
ov most anythin' fer nothin'. Sum
people air SO wasetful.
I notis a number ov clippin's in a
| big Southern newspaper from news
| papers that air -disgusted on account
ov the result ov the late eleckshun
Most ov them air in favor ov nomy-
| natin' a Southern man fer Preser-
dent on the dymakrat ticket. Now
| [ don't know much erbout po1lyticks;
but I'd jist like ter see what sort ov
| caper they would cut with South
ern man. He would carry most oy
the South, ov course He couldn't
| help that. But what else would he
do? The Red Shirts" an the might
| riders" an the Ku-Klux would throw
up their hats, ov course, an the Ole
Boy chunk in a few more loads oy
dry wood an birthstone. But whar
would they be with their Southern
| man after the eleckshun? He'd lack
erbout two milliun votes ov carryin
az meny az Billy Bryan did, an he
didn't hardly muddy the crick.
reckon I am erbout az big a fool az
the average dymakrat- But when
git ter the pint whar I favor any
sich az that, I'll apply fer admission
| ter the nearest insane asylum, an Il
they don't let me in, I'll break in an
lock myself up in the strongest cage
they hev. The trouble with most o'
us dymakrats IL that we don't know
what we want an we wouldn't he'
hit If we did know. Every one o.
us orter buy a kickin' masheen, 81
in front ov hit, turn our faces th'
other way, an let the masheen rul
till hit would wear out, or wear u
out. We play the fool after the eleck
shun an before the eleckshun, an
durin' ov the eleckshun, an that
the whole thing In nutshell. w
started out wrong after the war, an
the further we go, the worse we git
We hev had everythin' in our plat
form from foreordination ter fina
Idamnatfon. an still we can't fool bu
} 4 a small per cent ov the voters, an
) we can't keep them fooled more thal
half ov the time. Our campanes al
nothin' but bluff an bluster, an we
ourselves, don't believe half we say
so far az polyticks air concerned.
we WIZ ter adopt the Ten Command
: ments fer platform we would foile
[ hit up by nominatin' the devii 1e
prasardent. If wuz mule, L