Putnam patriot., 1908-05-08
'Tis House Cleaning Time.

'Tis House Cleaning Time. House-e,eaning time has begun. and all the diseomfofts connected with it.. Esen the bachelor hoarder and the roomer come in for their share ef its
 miseries.
 When you reach home you find half of your furniture piled up ill the back yard, and go to your own quiet sane tum to change your clothes, you find your room has been ''tidied up." You threw your towel when last used, in the corner on the floor, expecting to pick il when next you wanted 1t. It has disappeared, and you hunt and hunt, and finally find il hanging on the tow ell rack, of all places. You next start game of hide and. seek for your un- derwear. It has always been i'll the middle bureau drawer but when you have thrown everything out into the middle of the room, no underwear ap- pears. You call as sweetly as possible to your wife, mother or landlady, as the case may be. No one answers. You hear thump, thnmp in the back yard. II s one of the aforesaid females en- sconced in cloud of dust, which she is bringing forth from the front door ! mat. She .s dust begrimed and streak ed with precipitation. Yon start 10 call just as she gIanees up It you. You catch the hoase-eleaning eye and your voice is frozen. You go back To your game. Your underwear k nj last dis covered two drawers removed from it's former place. Your shirts are scattered about where you threw them in your former search for the underwear, and 1t seems like old times when you pick one up. You always have collar but. tons deposited about so you can reach out most anywhere and take one. You reach and reach, but without result, and you are .sit'' again. ioa hunt for half an hour and are sitting on the bed about to give 1t up, when you remem- Der some one made you a Christmas present of a coIlar-button receptacle. You find it OH the dresser with all the little ivory irfitants therein. iou dump them out and throw the receptacle out of the window as far as you can.
 You are next up against it for socks. The pair you want you wore .tt taff fx- t.f throwing them under the bed. You get down on your hands and knees and reach under, bul you fina nothing but emaculaie cleanliness. You decide to make the ones you have on do another day to save time.
 Your trousers. You'll take oath you know where those are. You folded them neatly and placed them under your trunk to keep tiie creases in. No thing doing. You find them hanging by the back strap in the clothes-prcss with the knees bagging.
 And so it goes. Seckties have disap- peared from the gas jet your arm bands have been unfolded from your statue of Sappho; favorite souvenirs have. been thrown into the ash-barrel; your second best suit and your fishing togs have been given tothe old clothes man-in fact nothing Is in its place.
 You are fed on cold dinners, and al first you kick, but as the work pro- gresses and your wife grows tired, metamorphosis takes place in her dis position, and to keep out of the divorce coG.. your remarks become silent ones. She saves you s25 by doing the work all alone. The doctors bill, or trip to the seashore to recuperate, costs you hundred.
 You sit gloomily in the club. Some one comes in and salutes you with ..Whals the matter old man?H You answer in two words-'shouse-clean ing,f Every man in the room extends his sympathy, for they too are ali in il. Every male being has luis own special troubles for with them all lis ..honse- cleaning timeiR