davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1908-10-01

By order of the board of county
commissioners, this 21st day of Au-
gust, 1908.
E. E. WHITNEY,
(Ohicial SeaD County Auditor.
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1908-10-01
CHAPTER XVII

~ ELS in therew observed Phe-
Ian in high excitement, jerk
ing his thumb toward door
The Princeton union. [volume] (Princeton, Minn.) 1876-1976, 1908-10-01

Money to loan on improved farms
at the lowest rate of interest. Loans
promptly and properly closed.
14-tf NJ. S. Rutherford & Co.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

Never you mind what it would seem
like, madam" said Mr. Jobson, sepulchral-
ly. IT'S not a case of what 1t nd seem
like to you, it's what l want. l want
dark rich wall papers for those bedrooms
and my mind runs to black and gold.
Therefore, that's the kind of ornamental
ton those two bedrooms are going TO
have. Black and gold for one of the
bedrooms. say. and a very dark purple.
with dark green figure. for the other.
That's my idea. You pick out that kind
of stuff, that's all"
But. my DEAR" said Mrs. Jobson, ap-
pealingly, Il hate to make suggestions
in a case where you seem so strongly
bent on q thing, but II would be perfectly
dreadful to have such gloomy paper In
the bedrooms, and folks would positively
laugh when they saw the rooms fixed that
way, and"
Never you mind about folks laughing"
cut in Mr.. Jobson. 1.-The chessy cats laugh
anyhow, and they'd die standing up II
they didn't have some fool thing to laugh
about I don't give hang about their
laughing. This is my plant, you under
stand, and folks. as you call the PIN
heads, can laugh their skulls on and 1t
won't bother me eighteen cents worth
I've had 1t in mind for years that L
wanted dark rich wall papers in my bed
rooms, and now it's going to break that
way. That's all"
"Oh. If you're bound to have your way"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

of the asphalt. But she was always too
wise q woman to get mad with folks
that were just hankering to have her get
mad, and thereby give SAVIOR to what they
considered their little funning.
They'd recommended her to wear little
bits Of pancake hats SOS to make herself
look shorter with me. and they'd tell her
how she could take lots and lots off her
height IL she'd only wear shoes with the
flattest kind Of heels-it's a wonder they
didn't insist upon her wearing carpet
slippers when she walked out with me
and they'd suggest that she wear checks
and piaids and effects like those In the
way Of clothes 80 as to give her short
err. stodgier look, and she had to listen to
all of this bunk and make out as II they
were doing her a favor: but her eyes
used to snap good and plenty when she'd
be telling me about these suggestions. and
I felt kind O. sorry in advance for these
women friends of hers IL my wife should
ever happen to take 1t into her head to
pick them up by the two ears of them and
jounce them around on the rug for a
little while.
Queer, isn't 1t, how busy some folks
make 'emselves? There are moonheads OF
my acquaintance even yet who recite that
doggerel, Jack Spratt could eat no fat.
his wife could eat no lean,' to me, and l
have to look as If I'd never heard 1t be-
fore and all like that. and the yaps &C
tually expect me to hold my sides and
roar and roll around In uncontrollaole
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

have never worried one-millionth as
much about my five-foot-fourness and
all like that other folks have appa-
rently worried about 1t, vicariously, so
to speak. for me.
We'll. you know my wife, and how
tall she is. She says that she's only
five foot eight, but IL she isn't a good
five foot ten then she isn't as high as
a bees knee.
Now, FIVE foot ten is a pretty good
height for man even, as you know
blamed good height for man. But It's
really an immense height for a woman
My wife isn't exactly thin, but she's
slender and, of course, you see how I'm
built. And her five foot ten of slender
ness, when ranged alongside my five
foot four Of fatness-oh, we'll, 1 don't
have to descant upon how that combina-
ton looks when we're together, side by
side. I'm just about a good head shorter
than she is. and when we walk out to-
gether. why
Il ought to say here that when We
were first married, and in fact for some
years afterward. we both of us were so
sensitive about our mismatched heights
and breadths and things that we hated
TO walk out together, and for a long while
we really refrained from walking out to-
gether. We'd hear the comments, you
know 1mbeciles strolling behind US
would say to each other. in that screech-
lngiy funny way of theirs. Just look at
the long and short of it there. will you.'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

it, broke in Mr.. Jobson, oracularly. Il
gave you the opportunity to express your
self on this subject because l had a feel
ing that you'd make a hash of 1t, as a
simple matter of course. and l desired to
flag you from making a mistake before
you began on the job
But said Mrs. Jobson. you of course
would want some nice light kinds OF wall
paper for bedrooms, and you'd"
"Oh. I would, would To- chopped in Mr..
Jobson. We'll, that shows just about
what you know about what I would and
wouldn't. AS simple matter of fact, I'm
dead against light pinky-winky or bluey-
wooey wall papers OF all kinds whatso-
ever. l hate 'em. 1 can't tolerate 'em.
Light wall papers look Swampoodlish and
piffling to me. You've been imposing
this silly. punkerino light wall paper on
me now for a great many years. and l
guess We'll call that kind of imposition
off from this time on. What / want for
those two bedrooms is dark. rich wall
paper. What / want in this case Is what
I'm going to have. ! want dark. soothe-
full, restful wall papers. Something. for
instance. in black and gold-black base
with gold pattern.
But" said Mrs. Jobson in perfectly
genuine alarm. that wouldn't do at all.
you know. my dear. Black-biack!-
paper for bedroom! Why. that would be
terrible! 1t would seem like sleeping in a
morgue or a coffin or something"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

Il am referring more particularly cut
in Mr.. Jobson, ito the state Of the wall
paper in those two bedrooms upstairs. or
course you haven't noticed-whod be idiot
enough to expect you to notice?-that the
wall paper in those two bedrooms Is peel
ing off in huge hunks and strips, and that
some night when we're sound asleep T'u
come down with rattle and clatter and
scare everybody in the neighborhood into
the belief that a volcano or something has
busted loose underneath Washington"
why" replied Mrs. Jobson. feeling re-
lieved, I'D noticed that In one or two of
the corners of those bedrooms there were
a couple of little almost indistinguishable
cracks in the wall paper, but
'Oh. that's all you'd noticed, is it?"
broke in Mr.. Jobson. growlfully. well,
permit me to observe that as a noticer
you're one of the dandiest little blind peo-
pie this side of the great Appalachian
range. The big, looming things that you
can contrive not to notice in the course of
twenty -four hours couldn't be catalogued
In a book as big as barn door. How
ever that is neither here nor there. The
point IS that, since 1t seems to fall to me
to attend to all of these household mat
tiers. in addition to being obliged to work
like an Eskimo pack dog in order 20 keep
the house together at ail-the point is that
want those two bedrooms repapered at
once. Now L wonder II there's one chance
in million fer me to leave the selection
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

And imbeciles in front of us. bearing
down on us, would hand each other the
nudge-we'd see 'em doing it-and. as
they swung by us, why, they. too, nd
say. I guess that isn't the long and
short of it, hey
well, this became tiresome, that's
all. 1t didn't make US feel so sore as it
made us feel cheap. We were satisfied
with each other, and 1t seemed DANCED
funny that other folks couldn't let it go
at that and permit us to go on about our
business. But they wouldn't have it
that way. Wouldn' think of tending to
their own business.
And then these loose-mouth slobs of
my acquaintance would be running to
me constantly with suggestions about in
creasing my height. They'd pretend to
be dead solemn about 1t. but. Of course, I
knew all the time that they thought they
were kidding me. But they weren't kid
ding me at all. They were just making
me tired, that's all
Say, look a-here,' one of 'em would
come a-running to me and open up, 1
saw 1t in the paper the other day that
a fellow can gain an inch in stature by
the simple process of having himself belt
ed on top of the head with a club and
then he'd go on and exude that old yarn
about the young fellow who wanted to get
on the police force, and was found to be
an inch too short to pass the necessary
physical examination, and how he got a
friend of his to hit him on top OF the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

bean with a potato masher or something,
and how the wallop on top of the conk
caused q big lump to rise there, and
how he passed the examination with fly
ing colors, and all like that. I'd listen to
this junk good-naturedly enough, because
there was no use in getting sore about it,
seeing that that was just what the yaps
wanted me to do
"Other busybody NUTS would bring me
ads that they'd cut out of newspapers
and magazines and things, telling how
folks could be made tall by some kind
Of stretching process. l never asked
EN- to fetch me any ads or anything
else, but, of course, they had to rap in,
and so it was always up to me to act as
If was much obliged to them. although
generally I felt heap like kicking them
down the stairs or out OF the window or
something.
THE gigglerinos Of women would fetch
all sorts of stuff to my wife, only the re-
verse English kind. OF course. They'd
tell her that they'd seen somewhere or
other statements that systems had been
invented for making too-tall women
short, and they'd advise her to try these
schemes on, and she, In her turn. had to
pretend to such women that she was
under obligations to them for putting her
next to these schemes, whereas. as per-
fectly natural matter OF course. l reckon
her fingers ached to grab EN- by the
Psyche knots or marcel waves or some
thing and toss EN- out into the middle
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

ing Saturn next April. and the planet will
then become a morning star.
The Planets.
The planet Saturn can best be located
by noticing that it Is nearly in line with
the two stars C and d of Fig. l. AS no
bright star is near the planet, ii Is now
very easily found and its rings and larger
satellites form a beautiful object tor OBJ
servation. The rings are now viewed so
nearly edgewise that they appear as a
single ring In small telescope
All of the other bright planets are now
morning stars. The brilliant Jupiter is in
the constellation Leo, and hence will rise
in the northeast few minutes after mid
night Toward morning it is high up to-
ward the zenith and it will we'll repay
observation at this time. Interesting
7. h. SO m. am: November 0. 1 h. SO
m am; November IA, l h. 80 m. am
November 16. 3 h. 80 m. am, and Novem
Der p, h. 10 IN. am.
Venus and Mars may be seen near to-
gether low in the east just before sun
rise. The former decreases greatly in
brightness during the month. as its dis
lance from the earth increases. and Meth
er planet is now in favorable position for
observation. Venus. in It's eastward mo-
ton, will pass north of Mars on Novem-
Der 80 at am; at this time the TWO
planets will be separated by a distance
about twice as great as the apparent dia-
meter of the moon.
Mercury will reach its greatest dis
lance west Of the sun on the morning OF
November ID. 1t will be unusually bright
at this time, and may easily be discover
ed shining out in the southeast just before
sunrise.
The Comets.
Probably no heavenly bodies are at
present exciting more interest than the
comets-those strange visitors which rush
toward the sun from the depths of space,
and then usually swing around that body
and recede into space. never to be seen
by us again. The most important now
receiving the attention of astronomers Is
Halley's comet. which first visited Our
solar system at least 1000 years ago. and
which was held back in its course by
the pull Of the great planet Neptune and
so forced to move in a closed orbit about
our sun. Ever since this time 1t has
reappeared In the sky at intervals oil
seventy-six years.
This comet. when nearest US. is always
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

the middle. When she sees you coming
along, supposing the path Is very mar
row-supposing it's a park for example
she doesn't even think OF giving the
guiding handle of the baby carriage sort
of little hitch to the right or to the left,
in order to enable you to squeeze by. You
wouldn't mind IT even IL she'd hitch a
little bit to the left-if she'd hitch any
old way. But no. Right in the middle OF
the path for hers. and she looks at you
deflantly, as much as to say: well, you
just think you're going to have some
room on this path, but you AMT. and
you've got to walk around my baby car
riage, that's ALL SO there, now"' And
even when she's right on top of you
with the baby carriage and you're sort
of wistfully waiting for her to give the
baby carriage a sort of little twist to
one side or the other SOS you won't have
to step on the wet and soggy grass and
thereby destroy the fine effect of your
nice new nickel shoe shine-why. even
when the front wheels of the baby car
riage are almost running over you, nary
the swerve does she make You're the
one that does the swerving. You're the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31
G street near 18th. some one suggested in
print or otherwise lust RECENTLY makes

G street near 18th. some one suggested in
print or otherwise just recently makes
Taft look like a retired police captain and
Sherman resemble a well-to-do English
butler. one who has always buttled for
the very best families.
Everywhere it is the same-in fact, the
banners hanging around Washington are
a whole lot better than those seen in most
places. Let not the casualist imagine
that the likenesses, in some cases at least
are poor merely because they are the
work of bum artists. Fact is, some
mighty clever limners are employed to
get out the monstrosities. In one town q
couple of hundred miles from here, where
the Irish element of the population pre-
dominates. big banner hangs over the
main street. The Bryan and Kern like
nesses are there all right, but both of
'em are as Irish as Paddy's pig. A little
trick with the brush here, a dab there, a
line some place else-all cleverly indie
finable-and Messrs Bryan and Kern
might more properly. from the impression
conveyed. be named McGilcuddy and
Oulahan.
SO It is elsewhere. Any one travelling
around the country and running into the
various communities where this or that
or the other nationality predominates
will find the campaign likenesses of the
national candidates fixed up to suit. There
are German Tafts and Hebrew organs,
Scandinavian Shermans and Swedish
kerns-and then you can start the list
all over again. Come on, you November
3-come on!
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

is one written by a lady who takes pay
ing guests. not boarders:
Replying to the above advertisement
/ would respectfully state that l have
secondstory front room, extending full
width of house. with bay window. and
one other. large clothes press and every
convenience, the room being well fur
nished. we'll heated and well lighted. and
/ can give first-class board in home
where the service Is entirely white"
and where a lodger is expected to be
careful In regard to injecting a super
crate of unnecessary extravaganza in the
abuse of furniture. scraping shoes on
chairs. splattering water on fine wood
work and furniture and getting unsightly
spots on rugs; also thoughtful in regard
to making unnecessary noises about the
premises, such as slamming doors. and
who has a joyful temperament, and is
obliging and conSiderate enough of his as
sociateS in the home to remember that
none of us is SO very good. To such
person is absolutely guaranteed that his
various belongings will be let absolutely
alone and personal interview can he
had. il desired. relative TO the details or
arrangement for home tsweet homeD for
a man who evidently needs one. Soul
fully submitted. NAfRA.
Id like to see Aryan and Nayra get to-
gether. If they do I'm willing TO bet
touring car against a shawl strap that
there'll be a run on Paradise Lost In
the public library.
IRVING C. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

nebulous image will be detected. and from
this time on the comet will be kept under
constant observation. In this way q
comet can be detected when very much
too faint to be seen in any telescope.
A much fainter comet is also peing
searched for by photography. rms was
captured by the planet Jupiter. II IS
known to have been at H. Fig. l. DC
tober ]. and at K October ID. During
November it will move across the con-
stellation of the Twins.
Besides these two comets. as yet unseen
this year. a third was discovered at the
point n, Fig. 1. September 1. BY Oc-
tober this had moved to the point n,
and by November 1 it will probably
reach the neighborhood of r. In the con-
stellation Cygnus. During this time 1t
was approa ching the earth and growing
rapidly brighter. BY the first week OF
October it had become nearly four times
as bright as when first discovered, anu
it was then just visible in pair OF opera
a conspicuous object. 1t was a Strlkins
comet, having a bright head and a tail
nearly degrees long; In its genera
appearance it closely resembled the comet
shown in Fig. 3.
The November Shooting Stars.
In the early morning hours of Novem-
Der IA to Is those bright. swiftly moving
shooting stars may be observed which
dart outward in all directions from the
constellation Leo 1t will be remembered
that this shower is caused by the earth's
blowing through q great stream of me-
teoric particles which revolve about the
sun in the path of the comet captured
by Uranus 1000 years ago. While 1t Is
not expected that the brilliant display of
1888 and 1885. when the earth encountered
the densest part Of the swarm. will be re-
peated. the shower is. nevertheless, still
the brightest Of the shooting-star SHOW
ers. Unfortunately. this year the moon
in its last quarter will be just below
Leo on the above dates. SO that the
fainter shooting stars will PROBABLY es-
cape detection.
The Variable Star Mira.
This remarkable star. at T. Fig. J..
grew continually brighter until October
II, when it exceeded the stars at and
L and was very nearly as bright as the
star at W. 1t then remained for rev
days without apparent change. but 1t 10
now rapidly fading and will soon be too
faint to be seen except with a telescope.
1t will not brighten again unrb Septem-
Der Of next year.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

of the paper to you without having hor-
rible mess made of the job?"
'Oh,'' said Mrs. Jobson, amiably, y
think could make to pick out some
"Uh-huh-Tve heard you exude thinks
just like that before. on a whole heap
Of occasions interrupted Mr.. Jobson.
But you do all of that alleged thinking
stuff before you get down to business
When you do finally get down to the
matter in hand. why, your thinking ap-
paratus is always suffering from a bum
carburetor or the oil cylinder is out of
whack or the spark-plug is on strike.
That's one OF your little characteristics
to do all of what you please to consider
your thinking in the index. But, for all
that, l am going to give you another trial.
Now / shall be obliged TO you if you'll be
good enough to indicate to me. here and
now, what sort of wall paper you'd be
liable to pick out for those two bed
rooms?"
Mrs. Jobson had the answer pat enough,
naturally, having been attending to the
papering of bedrooms and things for q
long time.
why she said. well want light.
cheerful wall papers for the bedrooms, of
course. 1 should imagine that some
pinloshs figure would do for one and per-
haps a~verysfghtsblue or greenish figure
would serve nicely for the other. and !
shall look 1at--r-'t
Nothing like it-nothing whatever like
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

laughter when they pull that one on me.
But l don't laugh or roll around. III be
doggoned il I'll go that far to please EN-.
Yep. and plenty of the pinconks swing
along to me and say, Look here. old boy,
/ saw you out walking with your good
spouse yesterday afternoon, and it struck
me that 1t would be a bully idea for you
to wear q tall hat-one of those high
crowned plug hats, you know. How bout
it? 1t 'ud give you heap Of height, you
know. don't you think So?
II switch the talk when they get around
to that. But as a matter of fact I've
never worn a high hat since I've been
married 1 think little man who wears
a high hat just because he's spliced to d
tall wife looks doubly ridiculous. 1t looks
as IL he's dead conscious of his shyness in
the matter of height and as If he's doing
all he knows to overcome the effect SOS
to keep the gang from kidding EN-.
You'll notice that the average short man
with a tall wife also wears. in addition to
the plug hat. a very longish frock coat
when he goes out walking tremendously
with his wife. That's the final touch.
Makes himself look like a self-conscious
cock sparrow who Is afraid of the kidding
and the criticism. Never did anything
like that yet and never will. I wear just
the ordinary sack suit and derby or straw
hat all the year around. and walk out
with my elongated spouse that way, and
II the humorists don't like it, why, they
can lump it, that all.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

said Mrs Jobson. but you know very
well that the whole idea of wall paper for
bedrooms is to have the effect cheerful
and light and
II don't care anything about whole
ideas. if you please" said Mr. Jobson.
i've got whole lot of whole ideas my
self. and dark, rich wall paper is one OF
them. 1 know just about what your idea
of wall paper for bedrooms is. If left
it to you you'd have in one of the rooms
a delirtum tremens kind of splashy,
PANTY paper, showing a light green
camel Of the desert in battle with a laven-
der buzzard, and for the other room
you'd have a paper exhibiting a bunch Of
violet-tinted Chinese canary birds sitting
on a cerise rail fence making faces at an
Alice-blue parokeet sitting in the
branches of a heliotrope-colored banyan
tree. That 'ud be about your style Of
bedroom wall paper. l haven't been
hitched up with you all these years. you
know, without getting a pretty fair line
on your tastes. You'd stake me to the
spectacle of a couple of bedrooms paper
ed up in the approved Bloodfield or Fog
gy Bottom style, that's what you'd do.
But you'll observe that I'm not taking
any chances-that I'm canceling all that
sort of thing In advance
WELL" said Mrs. Jobson, IF you weren't
so dead set on having those hideous dark
colors I should think that some nice UNI
figured light cartridge paper would be