Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-05-01
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worse. Life.
Jones-rs your daughter finished
musician? Smith-No; but the neigh
'ors are making threats,--The Club
Fellow
us she hiltelimberT' "You betl
This machine viii get 'em unless they
AXE to trees louisville Courier
Journal
Miss X,--woaldn't it be horrible to
,ave TO die an old maid? Miss "
Not half SO horrible as to have to live
hat way.--CleYeland Leader
what do you think young Chumpley
seighsY' about 200 pounds on the
scales and about ten ounces in the COM
nunity. Cleveland Plain Dealer.
can have a pass over your liner
No" replied the railroad man, laws
90 strict. We can't pass anything but
/ dividend Philadelphia Public
ledger,
Out OF Town Friend--Say, old man,
where is the best place to get umbrel-
as? New Yorker-0h, large recep-
lion or club meeting -Lippincott's
Magazine
Bacon--TIas he been successful with
sis new alrship? Egbert-Partially so.
tie goes ''up In the air" every time he
tries to start the thing. Yonkers
Statesman.
Il didn't notice you at the mothers
congress" No replied the woman
addressed I'm not theoretical
mother, you know, have six."--Phil-
aaelphia Ledger.
Ella--Im to be married tomorrow
and I'm terribly nervous. Stella--I
suppose there always is a chance of a
man getting away up to the last min
Ute. Brooklyn Life.
Ellza--Dld you say Sam was maxim
lot of money out of his voice? Cloe
Sure thing At dc opera. Ellza-At
ie opera2 Cloe- Yes; he calls de car
riages -Yonkers Statesman.
Mifkins-i understand you said that
had outlived my usefulness. BlflSins
You have been misinformed. I said
that l didn't believe you ever We're Of
any use.--Chicago Daily News
Redd-l understand that new auto
mobile OF yours goes like the wind.
Greene-Thats right Nobody can tell
just when the wind is going To- start or
when it is going 20 stop. Yonkers
Statesman,
Did you and your wife take long
/ "trip on your Honeymoon ut seemed
long to me. Her father had promised
/ 10 settle snug sum Of money on us
) as soon as we got back. Chicago Rec
ord Herald.
Keddy Quitting down gold piece)-
Ticket FOR Del Monte Ticket Clerk
} Change at Castroville, II you take this
train. Reddy-Ill wait then, for 1
: want my change right here, uncle
Monterey Gossip.
She-i see where a fellow married
a girl on his deathbed, just so she
could have his millions when he was
gone Could sou love q girl like that?
He Sure, could love n girl like that!
Where does she live?-Puck.
what would you do II you was one
D desc miIionaIresP said Mcandering
Mike II 'spose," answered Flooding
Pete, dat ia get meself golf outfit
an walk fur pleasure Instid O from
necessity. Washington Star.
Mabel--Jack proposed to me last
luight Stella--poor fellow So he did
keep his word after all: Mabel Why,
what do you mean7 Stella-~When
refused him last week he said 1t would
cause him to do something desperate
Chicago Daily News.
The Actress-~,In this new play I'm
supposed 20 die from a broken heart.
Now, how am to know how a person
with broken heart behaves? The
Manager--I'n tell you what 10 do. You
study the author OF this play after he
sees the first rehesrsal.--Il Illustrated
Bits.
Mrs Have you any Scent
stamps? Drug Clerk (absent-mindedly)
No, ma'am, but we have something
Just as good. Mrs. Ascum--IIa ha !
4 force or hapit That's where ! caught
you. Drug CIerk--Not at all. ma'am.
/ / can give you two twos and one.
/ Philadelphia Press.
Katy, who's In the high schoo;," re
marked Mr.. Dolan. have been readir'
/ Herbert Spencer to me" who's Her.
bert Spencer He's wan ~ the
! smartest min on earth. He could ex-
plain anythln' at all " yez II yez
could only be polite enough TO stay
awake an pay attintion. Washington
+ Star.
| (which Is the COW that gives the but
/ termilkT' innocently asked the young
lady from the city, who was inspect.
ing the herd with critical eye. Don't
make yourself ridiculous" said the
young lady who had been in the coun-
I try before and knew q thing or two