davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
Romance and Reality.

Romantic MiSs-Do you love me
well enough to do battle for me?
Ardent Suitor-Aye, against a thou
sand.
well, Mr.. Bigfsh is paying me a
good deal of attention. Would you
fight him for me?"
Yes, l would"
could you defeat him."
mo: he'd probably thrash the life
out of me-
Mercy. Well, never mind. I'll take
you without any fighting. and oh, do
please remember, my darling, promise
ME on your honor, that if you ever see
Weekly.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

II has been supposed that smoking
makes such slaves OF its victims that
they rarely seek to tighten the yoke.
National figures in regard to the to-
bacco industry indicate the contrary.
When the financial panic Of last Octo.
Der appeared, the production OF cigars
decreased 146,000,000 in a single
month. and in December dropped off
10 the extent of another 100000 900.
The manufacture of cigarettes was
also greatly lessened There was evil
IDENTIFY desire to economic, IL not to
break off the habit. Or perhaps it was
4 turning to the seductive pipe.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

The wife of the Indiana editor who
makes a two-column appeal in her hus.
bands paper for his nomination to a
state Office has heart in the right
place, but her editorial Eve" has its
embarrassing and confusing sugges-
tions, remarks the indianapolis Star.
Our husband" our VOW at the mar.
riage altar" I'VE are with him." I'VE
will work for him." etc, are phrases
carrying Utah-Iike flavor that
might mislead the unwary. But
what does che literary form
matter? The lady. she's all
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
Looks That Way,

Bacon-Thought you said your boy
was quite deer shooter?
Egbert-So / did
why, l hear he went out, the other
day, fired at deer, and hit cow"
That's what he did. ] had to pay
for the COW. Don't YOU call that dear
shooting ?"-Yonkers Statesman.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

The mayor Of Cincinnati wants WON.
en- in that city debarred from operat-
ing automobiles. He says that the
only machines women should run are
sewing machines. To this, remarks
the Baltimore American. the women
will retort that il is just like mean
man to leave them the work, while he
takes all the fun.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

OF
which
youthful which, behind the might take
significant the blessings
TO them q
in q
both resilient He odashioned
OF II hahitual simplicity.
Ganger of the brethren who avoid the lmigh but it
o
in
a
ha in
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
A Clash of Evidence

Tramp lin the road)-W'y don't you
go in? The dogs all right. Don't you
see i'm Vaughn is tail?
Second Tramp Cat the gate)-Yes,
and 'e's growlin' at the same time. I
dunno which end to believe.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
PRESIDENT OF HAITI

Nord Alexis president of the black republic
of Haiti who has been threatening France with
war because she refuses 10 give up some in
surrectos who have taken refuge in her consul
ate, is an interesting type of the pure blooded
Negro
His crnked wool is white and his
long bony face scanned and wrinkled He was
born in Cape lIaitien, August ., 1920, his father
being Baron Nord Alexis the right-hand man of
Henry Christopher, who afterwards proclaimed
himself king of Haiti, but who finally was ex-
lied The mother of Nord Alexis was Mary
Louise. the daughter of Dessalines, the liberator
Of Haiti from French rule. Nord Alexis was ed
ucatcd in French Roman Catholic school in
Cape Haitien, and at the age of Is entered the
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
Bad for the BURGLAR.

Goodfellow (nearing Jollyfellow's
house very late at night after
time at the club)-I shay, Jollyfel-
low, zhe there. There's a burglar get
ting into your house by zhe window.
Jollyfellow-Shoh he is. Shay, wait
a (hic) wait little. My wife'll think
he's me and (hic) she'll half-kill him.
N. Y. Weekly.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25


had
Mex the
o comma n-chie
although has proportion
a
Therefore they the
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
COMPREHENSION of Human Nature.

so YOU think that man has the fac
ulty of popularizing himself?" said
the political leader.
Il am sure of it," answered Senator
Sorghum. Il have seen him laugh at
the same story half a dozen times
without letting on that he has heard it
before. "-Washington Star.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

In recent bulletin from the Uni
versity of California is given sum-
mary of the evidence prepared by
Prof J. d. Whitney to show that the
famous Calaveras skull. found in q
miners shaft in Bald Hill, near Alta
vile, probably came from cave used
by the Indians for burial purposes.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

The heiresses who married titles
and went abroad to live in the SPLEEN
dor of old world aristocracy are COM
ing home They seem to have lost all
their desire for the aristocracy, and,
incidentally, good many Of their dol
lars
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

A study of the eyes of the lower animals,
especially of birds is likely TO throw light
upon the biology and pathology of the hui
man visual apparatus. In other words, the
practical ophthalmologist studies the eyes
of birds only to better understand the care
and treatment of the eyes of man. In
birds we have the highest type of vision. The
very existence of every bird depends upon
good eyesight with which to escape its enc
mics and 10 obtain food. Some mammals,
fishes. reptiles, and amphibia get through
life fairly well without eyes, but there are
no blind bird families
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

The question Shall army officers
wear corsets?" will not down. and fat
ones are becoming alarmed at the
prospect Possibly some of them
wouldn't be so corpulent had they
been straight laced" early in life.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
Slightly Mixed.

GUEST am not at all comfortable
here; the coffee is cold and watery,
the water warm and thick.
Waiter-Are you sure you haven't
mistaken one of them for the other.
sir?
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

iefed
he
to how he should vote.
just
as
Mr. efe against the Republican the house when he
REQ
of
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
Settled.

Houselieeper Ito employment agent)
Il don't want another young girl.
Can't you get me a settled woman?
Agent-Yes, madam. / know one
who has had three husbands. and
doesn't want any more-N. Y. World.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
Sensible Girl.

lie (bashfully)-May I-er-kiss
your hand, Miss Dolly?
She-Oh, / suppose so. But IL
would be so much easier for me to
Semoye my veil than my glove.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

Philadelphia is beginning to talk
about celebrating the two hundred and
twenty-fifth anniversary Of her found
ing next October, and Mayor Reyburn
recommends that the old home week
idea he adOpted
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

Mitzel Morok, the loop-the-loop girl,
heroine of a thousand thrilling whirls,
has been killed while in the domestic
act of pouring a cup of tea, thus again
proving how dangerous it is TO be
alive
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
The PoIiceman's CHARGE.

Officer" said the Judge, this
woman at the bar declares that first
you tried to coax her to marry you,
and then you arrested her.
'Oi did, sor."
whats the charger"
"Resistin an officer."-Judge.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

Why does the average person put
the stocking on the left foot hrst:
Probably for the same reason that
most people remove the right boot
first Habit.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
CHAMPIONS LETTER CARRIERS

Jacob III. Gainger, United States senator
from New Hampshire is advocating od-age
pension for letter carriers who have reached
the age OF 40, provided they have served CON
tiruously for 40 years Both of these condi--
tons, the 20 years of life and the 40 years of
service must be present to obtain pension.
and the probability is that the applicants Will
be few and far between. The senator was OtT
of the most persistent advocates OF the man
ship subsidy, and he made his position very en-
phatic when he pictured the 16 battleships
steaming into San Francisco harbor, two Amer
lean battle ships for every merchant ship the
United States has in the foreign trade of that
ocean. The senator is a doctor by profession.
and is q strong opponent of vivisecton.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

The action of the New York man
who asked 10 be chloroformed, admit
ting that he has outlived his useful
ness, seems an admission that he is
too lazy to do the job himself.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

AS a hazardous occupation, sitting
on keg of powder while smoking
pipe isn't to be compared with raising
tobacco in Kentucky.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
Seemed londcr.

Mr.. Gotham-liow long have you
lived out there in the suburbs?
Mr.. Flatbush-Oh, about six years.
Mrs. Flatbush-What are you talk
ing about, dear? We've only lived
out there six months.-Yonker
Statesman.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

Wellesley colleges professor O,
rhetoric says playing bridge whist is
mental chewing gum for girls. TINS
involves some stretch of the magma
ton.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

The discovery of an angle worm IN
glass of milk might have been coIf
foyting reminder to that Detroit ma''
that it will soon be time TO 20 fshinG
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
Want
Vote?N No!
American Woman
Does Not Desire
Right to Ballot
BY AUGUSTA Won S. HEINBOCkEL
Australia's Woman Leader.

1.-The hand that rocks the cradle rules the world"
"Womany women sway the world through subtle
home influences Pretty trte phrases genes, sound
ing in mine like Old half forgotten tunes, but
crave knowledge Of the whose individuality is a
striking feature in the history are writing for an
other postcrity.
1t is true that to the woman America has vcrta-
bly, proven itself to be land flowing with milk and
honey So much freedom Of action has been conceded
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

A New York man wandered away
from home and forgot where he lived.
Not every New Yorker, however, says
the Chicago Daily News, has such
pleasant experience.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

Persons who do the loudest COM
planning against the length of the win
ter and the cold weather in general
are usually those who had hay fever
last fall and prayed for an early frost.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

II in addition TO enacting new laws
we were to enforce those we have al
ready il might help materially.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

That is, Archbishop Ireland does not
believe in war. but if there must be
war he thinks it wise and proper TO
be prepared to knock the tar out of
the other fellow. Any fallacy in the
doctrine?
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

After all the encomiums handed TO
'the man behind the gun" it is a shock
TO learn that our naval craftsmanship
at Santiago was bad. Still, 1t an
swered every purpose.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
II PROMINENT PEOPLE
CONGRESSMAN RESIGNS

Congressman Charles +. Littlefield OF
Maine in a letter sent to Gov Cobb the other
day. resigned representative from the Second
Maine district. He states that his resignation
is prompted by the desire TO resume his law
practice. which has been interfered with by his
congressional duties. 1t is understood that ne
will practice law in New York with his son.
The resignation is to be effective September 20.
Congressman Littlefeld, who succeeded the
late Nelson Dngley in the house, is noted for
his independence and disregard of cut and dried
programs when they are at variance with his
convictions. His advent in congress made the
cold shivers run down the backs of the old time
managers who had been accustomed to CONTROL
ing the powers of the house Several times M.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

It has been discovered that Pharaoh
had toothache and the govt. No Won
der the Israelites fed from him.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

BY the time China has armed and
drilled a few hundred thousand more
men perhaps it will be able TO talk
the language of modern diplomacy
fiuently.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

It is proposed in Denmark to SEND
an expedition to teach the Eskimos 10
fish, Are they as hopeless as that!
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

You can hire house builders, but
must marry home builders.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

Anybody could match up soul mates
il neither side was particular.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
Near SWIMMING.

Mother may / learn how to swim?"
Yes, my darling daughter
Learn at n correspondence school,
And don't go near the water"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
ENGLA ND'S ATTORNEY GENERAL

Sir William S. Robson, England's at
torneygeneral, holds. next to the lord chancel-
lor, tho best paid billet in the administration.
He gets a salary of $4,000 which, although his
is not cabinet post, is $4,000 more than any
member of the cabinet receives, with the ex-
ceptiOn OF the lord chancellor, who draws
$4,000 year But lawyers. who have most to
do with law making. always see TO it that the
jobs reserved for members of their profession
yield the largest incomes. The lord chanceot
is, of course, a lawyer
Before he got his recent promotion Sir Will
liam was the liberal solicitor general and for
that received $4,000 year. But there is no
doubt that he makes a considerable financial
1rif icn in n, cnnrind al IIo 10 Of
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25
No
Caste of
Nobility
i'm France
By MAX NORDAU.

ties knows of them usurp That they
found in the Blue Books and nothing clever
families the genuine being
challenge their right In this they possess themselves of
genealogical and family history entirely
that the hono lo not belong TO those that bear them
The few families who have inherited legal title of nobility
descent from father longer the
society. In matters of they have nothing In diplomacy
the they scarcely be found and the
ALL They have power and therefore influence
the richest and therefore the elegant The greatest
ionacs do think of cang them. Rather they expect Gull
by them. They would smile should onod
by becoming related marriage with people who bear
upon their visiting cards carriages They do regard such
things an honor.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25


high of him
to OF
Mary AIMS expressions he has with him.
a
tureso
he
to n house of
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-04-25

In France the caste Of all the nobility
has ceased to exist The revolution behcaded
them, banished them, tore in pieces their
parchmcnts and letters patent. DESTROYED
and burned their castles appropriated their
estates and thoroughly abolished them.
The cmigrants who returned a quarter
of century after the dclugc were mere
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS. spooks. apparitions they
had lost their reality. Napoleon sought to
rc-cstablsh a nobility. He could create
titles, but not an aristocracy. Even the
The adNrnimrnr clinps 10 thosn nssnminU Ii
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1908-04-02
LITTLE NEGRO PRAYED
HIMSELF OUT OF A CELL
jail Authorities Let Him Out In Self
Defense.

"oh n n. Lord help Mr.. Bill HALL
Oh-h n Lord. help me outen dis pen.
Ye-s-s. Lord. come down and deliber
me from dis pen! Oh-h-h, Lord! help
Mr.. Bill Hall"'
The reiterated meanings like that of
a country negro preacher dreaming
along in the sixthlies and seventhlies
of Sunday sermon. came from the
gloomy Interior Of one of the strong
cells of the county jail for hour after
hour. The person was praying as those
familiar with the negro will recognize.
Yes" said Mr.. Pettus. day jailer for
the sheriff. "the little negro Is Pierce
Brown. who escaped a couple Of days
ago. Deputy Sheriff Hall chased the
little coon on foot for about six miles
down the middle OF the Central of
Georgia Railroad tracks. succeeding in
making the capture on Vaughn's pas
ture. On his return locked him up
in one Of the steel cages, and for the
past two DAYS and nights that prayer
has been going on
"Once in a while the sing-song would
stop long enough for dinner, and about
midnight 1t would stop. But on the
crack OF day the same sing-song would
commence. It's nearly driving me
crazy"
"why don't you stop him." the jail
er was asked.
II can't" said Mr.. Pettus. "I went
back there an hour or so ago, and
commanded Pierce to shut up. and told
him IL he wanted TO pray / had no OBJ
lection so long as he made no fuss
about it.
."But you know that little Niger
never stopped to listen. He heard me,
though. for instead OF the customary,
"oh -hh. Lord. help Mr.. Bill Hail." he
said "oh-h-h. Lord, hetp Mr.. Pettus.
oh-h n, Lord. help me outen dis pen"
But l reckon for the peace Of my
own mind l will have TO let that mig
ger out of that pen. Randall" he
called to the turnkey ''let Pierce
Brown, out Of that cage, but keep a
close watch on him."
And that Is how Mr.. Pettus's peace
of mind and the rest of the prisoners
comfort was saved from total wreck.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1908-04-02
KILLING AT ROANOKE
NEGRO KILLS WIFE AND BABE AND
SHOOTS SELF.
L. A. Brown was Under Inauenee Of
Whiskey ana fs In Jsil--laan-
doiph County


Roanoke. April 1.--(Special )--Abou
o'clock yesterday afternoon a young
negro. l.. A. Brown shot and killed his
wife and t-year-old child at the home
of his wife's father. in the negro Sec
ton of the city. Brown then ran to
the home of his father and reloaded
his pistol and fred ball into his own
head.
The woman was shot through the
head. heart and arm, and died Instant
~. The infant. which was shot imme-
diately after the killing Of It's mother.
received bullet in its head and lin
gered till midnight.
The self-infiicted wound upon the
murderer did not prove fatal, and ply
sicians are of the opinion that he will
recover. He was guarded all night
and this morning was locked up in the
city jail, with a charge of murder
against him. He wifi be sent to the
county Jail in wedowee as soon as he
is able to travel.
Brown and his wife had duarreles
often, Upon this occasion he was
known to be under the influence OF
corn whiskey. purchased Illegally In
the country near town.
T. M. Swami. who was recently APP
pointed postmaster at Roanoke to sue.
coed r. T. West. assumed charge OF
the Office today. Both are clever and
competent and lifelong Republicans.
Otto Loosen. the new chief clerk
comes from Opelika.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1908-04-02
AT THE MEMS MEETING.

The midday services at the Majestic
Theatre yesterday at noon were large.
ly attended, when Rev. Matthew Brew
ster, of Christ Church. Mobile was
the speaker for the twenty minute SER
vice. One of the pleasing features OF
the services was the singing of the
congregation OF men. All OF the hymns
were well rendered.
The short talk delivered by Mr.
Brewster was excellent. His main
theme was Mans Duty" The speaker
urged that man owed duty not only
to himself. but he owed a compelling
duty to men about him in helping them
over their trials.
The next of the midday services
will be given at the Majestic tomor-
row when the preacher will be Rev
w. M. Claybrook. general missionary
Of the Episcopal Church OF Alabama
All men are invited to attend these
services.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1908-04-02
AMERINE PROMOTED
BOTH HE AND COLONEL GARLAND
SECURE ADVANCEMENT
w. II. Amerine IL TO Become Travelling
Freight and Passenger Agent
of the Western Rail-
Rnad.


Friends of Col. A. B. Garland and
w. H. Amerine are congratulating
them on their we'll earned advance
ment in the service of the Western
Railway of Alabama. News of the
promotion was received in Montgom-
cry yesterday. and both Mr.. Garland
and Mr.. Amerine will take up the
work of their respective positions at
once.
Mr.. Garland. formerly cotton Stats
tician for the railroads of the city, has
been appointed soliciting freight and
passenger agent with headquarters in
Montgomery. Mr.. Amerine. formerly
soliciting freight and passenger agent
of the road with headquarters in Mont
gomery. has been advanced to the po-
sition of travelling freight and passen-
ger agent with headquarters in this
city.
Both are well known in Montgomery
and throughout the whole State and
their advancement comes as a very
pleasing surprise.
The Montgomery advertiser. [volume] (Montgomery, Ala.) 1885-1982, 1908-04-02
Summary of House.

Washington. April debate on the
agricultural appropriation bill in the
House today was devoid of the charges
and imputations which marked its
consideration on Monday and Tuesday
More progress was made with the
measure than on any previous day, apd
the indications are that II will fnafly
get through tomorrow. Today's dis
cussion dwelt on a proposition for an
increased appropriation for the farmers
bulletins, wlAch. however was refused
and the subject of inquiries into road
building, etc. by the department. the
trend of opposition that such work
should be encouraged.
The session was opened with a bitter
attack on Attorney General Bonaparte
by Mr.. Clark, of Florida. who denounc-
ed him as being no lawyer. and UNIT
to hold his ONCE. The occasion for the
utterance was the reporting out OF
committee of a resolution by Mr..
Clark calling for a statement of the
expenses connected with peonage In
vestigations and prosecutions. That
the resolution was simply a further
and unnecessary attack on the Attor-
nav General by Mr. Clark was the dec
iaration of Mr.. Caulfeld. of Missouri
who led the opposition. The resolution
was tabled
At 4:46 p. m. the House adjourned