davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
oUAKER NEpITATIoNs.

LFrom the Philadelphia Record
Nothing pleases some people ike
themselves
The best man at many wedding
proves to be the bride.
Cold cash is what every man Is
anxious to freeze on to.
We sometimes pay dearly for the
things we get for nothing.
1t looks as though the Tobacco trust
might go up in smoke
Many a man comes to a bad END by
trying to be a good fellow.
Those who marry in haste nave
plenty of time TO pay alimony
saw what you will of the weather
man he is never spoiled with success
After a girl reaches a certain age
her ideal is any man who VIII pro-
pose.
If Satan finds some work for the IDLE
hands to do it must keep him pretty
busy.
Life is full of ups and downs"
ouoted the Wise Guy. Yes, most OF
ne have to keep down expenses to keep
up appearances" replied the Simple
Mug.
Chief of Detectives-"Now give us
a description of your missing cashier.
How tall was hep Business Man
at don't know how tall he was. What
worries me is that he was $4,000
short"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
GLOBE SIGHTS.
LFrom the Atchison G1ol

CFrom the Atchison G1obe1
There is no more expensive luxury
| in the world than getting even.
There is only one thing people like
that is good for them: good nights
sleep.
Nearly every man imagines, when
he comes into possession of an old
and battered coin, that he has a gold
mine.
A mothers idea of as good luck as
anyone can ask for is to occasionally
find pair of stockings in the pile that
doesn't need darning.
For a few weeks after his wife's
death, a widower looks at women with
the indifference and lack of interest
that characterizes a sick man. But
how soon he gets over it!
Pick out twenty young men, and
not moro than five Of them are MAX
ing an effort to save money. The in
dications are that the poor house of
the future will have to be six stories
high, with folding beds in every room.
The women are learning more
about business matters every day but
the men are not taking any more in
terest in cooking. 1t seems that in
the course of few years, the women
will have everything to do.
A woman does a great deal of work
in all days and ages, and in these 1t
Is more than ever because on top of
all her work she still has to do" her
ha1r. ana Do1ng ones hair these
days doesn't end with a door knob
twist.
There is not much summer love-
making that is serious. and little of
the winter variety that is frivolous.
When a man walks half a dozen
blocks through cold and snow to see
a girl. he means business. Suscepti-
BILE girls shouldn't believe anything
that il said to them in July and Au-
gust
number of years ago an Atchi-
son man married a woman who had
5000 saved up. She spent half of it
on her wedding outfit. and the rest in
giving Christmas presents to her kin.
Since their marriage. the husband has
built $4,000 house, and purchased
two horses and a carriage all of
which were earned by hard work
But, in explaining his prosperity, his
neighbors still say: His wife had
money when he married hertz
To be a Republican Is quite re-
spectacle in Atchison. but it isn't in
Texas. In little Texas town of
eighty or hundred people. a wag one
day voted a Republican ticket, as a
joke. When the ballot was discover
ed. there was intense indignation. At
ter that. when a man in that
town wanted to abuse anoth-
ing that Republican ticket. One man
was finally compelled to leave town,
he was so steadily accused, though
wrongfully, of voting the Republican
ticket. Several men were killed as a
result of the incident, and several
family feuds arose that may result in
other killings.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
A PRECEDENT BROKEN.

The election of Taft breaks a prece-
dent. Perhaps it breaks several of
them, but the one which seems largest
in political history is that the Repub-
licans were victorious when the coun-
try is in the midst of a period of de-
preston. In no single instance before
has the electorate failed to overthrow
the party which was in power at the
time the panic occurred. English his
tory also shows a similar list of prece-
dents, showing the tendency of the
voters to hold the ruling party directly
responsible for trouble in financial and
industrial affairs, 1t is true that the
country is recovering from its panic,
but it isn't entirely normal yet by any
means. The election Of Taft shows
plainly that people, feared Bryan might
do worse. The question arises, which
can never be positively answered:
Would a Democrat of the more con-
servative type have stood a better
chance of election than Mr.. Bryan did?
-AtchiSon Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.l

LFrom the Chicago News.J
There are some things we should
remember to forget.
A man with long head isn't neces-
sarily headlong.
The man who fancies his freedom
may not be fancy free.
Sometimes a woman has the cheek
to discard paint and powder.
No, Cordelia. a false witness isn't
necessarily a bleached blonde.
After a girl gets to be about SO old
she prefers kisses to fudge.
The first thing in a shoe is the last.
and the last thing is the wearer's
heel.
Sometimes the dentists success de-
ponds on the number of snags he runs
up against.
A woman gets mad If she hears any
one abusing her husband. It's usurp-
ing her privilege.
IT'S easy for a woman to land hus-
band, but the difficulty lies In getting
him on the hook.
Nothing pleases a stingy man more
than to hear himself spoken of as be-
ing charitably inclined.
of course your neighbor has his
faults. but you should have sufficient
self control not to mention them.
Try to get what you are looking for
in this world, for you'll probably get
what you are not looking for in the
next.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
FROM OTHER PENS
MAKING IDEAL SERVANTS.

Reference was made in these columns
recently to the policy of the New York
German housewives in. awarding prizes
to domestic servants for faithfulneSS
and ability. 1t was hoped that the OBJ
ject lesson thus afforded would have
the effect of elevating the standard of
county council, which is the official
guide, philosopher and friend of some
1000 900 people, announces much more
radical action toward the solution of
provided near London under the aus
pieces of the county council, where girls
will be trained in the arts of cooking,
housekeeping, waiting at table and
caring for the baby. During the II
months course of tuition all their ex-
penses will be paid by the council, and
in addition they will receive regular
allowance for pocket money. Upon
their graduation they will be given GER
tiflcates of competency, and it is ex-
pected that their services Will COM
mand somewhat higher rate of pay
ment than those of the unframed do
nestle. Eventually 1t is hoped to es
tablish a large number of training
schools of this kind throughout the
county and when housewives see the
kind of servants that are turned out
they will decline to employ any others.
Thus the scheme would benent both
employers and employees, raising not
only wages, but the standard of effici-
ency.-Pittsbu-g Gazette-Times:
''SUFFERING' THEORY OF GENIUS.
In his recent -Four Victorian Poets
Stopford Brooks colby attempted to
runcture a familiar theory. He was
talking about poets, and he said that,
for his part, he never took much stock
in the idea that geniuses were entitled
to sympathy on the ground that their
superior sensitiveness condemned them
to much suffering.
He pointed out that, even If this SEN
sitiveness invited pain, it also increas-
ed the possibility of pleasure The ar
fist has a thousand delicate percep-
lions which the workaday man may
lack, and each one of them is capable
of affording a real delight. The pleas
ures of the artistic temperament thus
counterbalance or more than counter
balance the disadvantages.
When we consult the poets who may
be taken as fairly representative of the
artistic temperament-we find that this
modern view is not wholly approved
We observe strong illusions to the
brthpangs of the productions of gen.
Jus, but the compromising advantages
are not remarked. They learn in suf-
fering what they teach in song may
perhaps be taken as the orthodox poetic
view. Or, as Matthew Arnold put it,
"Such a price the gods exact for song;
to become what we sing."-Chicago In
ter-Ocean.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17

The National Prosperity associa-
ton. a st. Louis organization, evil
IDENTIFY has a mighty high opinion of
its abilities along certain lines. 1t is
out with statement to the effect that
1t prevented President Roosevelt from
sending any more special messages
to congress which might be con-
st-ued as being hostile to corpora
tions. There is probably no power or
force on the face Of the earth, ex-
cept his own sweet will, that pre-
vented Mr.. Roosevelt from sending
messages of this sort to congress. He
probably arrived at the conclusion,
which almost everybody else reached,
that he had promulgated a-plenty of
these missives.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17

to him who owns the publication. He
will be responsible for what he writes
for 1t. Very good. But the man or
men who own The Outlook will be
responsible for what is printed in it.
Their ideas on all things may not jibe
with Mr.. Roosevelt's and the necessity
may perhaps arise when they will
have to use the blue pencil on some of
his stuff. Then, what will happen?
Even the most vivid imagination can
not say
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17

"Is that John, givin' the college yell in
side? That's amt the college yell The
an he's Rivin' the home yell!'-Atlanta
Constitution.
Tommy. whose nose was out of joint.
had been permitted to see the new baby
asked. eyeing the infant with strong dis
favor. It's doubled up under him" t ex,
i ike de blamed stork What brung 'em!''-
Puck.
''was his auto going so very fast?"
Your Honor. It was going SO fast that
the bulldog on the seat beside him looked
like a dachshund. Post
This epitaph has been suggested for a
stone With ali gravity; below I'm filling
my last cavity."-Judge's Library.
He Cboastingly)-It takes six generations
to make a gentleman, you know. She
(calmly)-Yes; and what pity that y
only takes one generation to unmake him!
Chicago News.
ct understand old Pslyman left his af-
fairs in pretty bad shape. Are you having
anY trouble in STRENGTHENING them outE
I'VE have found that they cant E,I6 be
crook. Chicago Tribune
Mrs. Ryetop-It just goes to show how
youngsters of this generation neglect OPP
portunities. Mr.. Ryetop-Wha now. Man
home 1 used to try to make him take the
mop and bucket and scrub up the halls.
He wouldn't pay no heed, and now he
writes that he is on a scrub team up at
college, and bet he doesn't know a thing
about scrubbing.-Chicago Daily News.
"rm a poor man." when we are
married. can learn tol cook. I" Hadn't
youAer-better begin to practice, sug-
gested the thrifty sutton, while your
father is vet supplying the raw material
so to speak,? Herald,
Johnnv-Pa. when is the freedom of the
city given to n MANI Pa-When his wife
goes to the country for the summer
New York Sun.
The Ram-what is your chief ambition
in life? The Bull-To tell the truth,
would like to be given the freedom OF a
china shop some day.-Puck.
Darling, you're sleepy" mo, I'm not,
mamma" responded Daisy, who wanted
to sit up longer and get some sweeties;
''it's only my eyes are tired because they
have been looking so long for some
candy.''-Baltimore American.
ST wonder why she doesn't marry VIII
son. She seems. to like his attentions
enough" That's why she doesn't marry
hin"-Young's Magazine.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17

Merry times are doubtless ahead in
the conduct of the affairs of The
Outlook as soon as Mr.. Roosevelt be-
gins his duties as an associate editor
of it. Indications seem to point that
James Stillman, the New York
banker, who is looked upon as the In
huentiaI silent man of the Standard
OIL crowd and also a dear friend of
z. H. Hartman, owns a decidedly
controlling interest in this magazine.
This brings forth a statement from
ar. Roosevelt that it does not matter
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17

No more natural gas for the places
in Kansas that get their supply from
Oklahoma fields in two years when
the supply will be exhausted is the
rather disquieting news from an
Oklahoman, who poses as an author
1ty on the subject. Probably he is an
alarmist, of whom there are not few
in the new state. Others who are
pretty well versed in this subject are
under the impression that the tapping
of the gas fields in Oklahoma and
contiguous territory is but in its in
fancy and that enough gas will be
found to provide an adequate supply
for years to come.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
Death by E1ectrocution.

The attitude of Coroner George F..
Shrady, son of the most distinguished
surgeon of his time. toward the kill
ing of criminals by electricity is one
that should have been taken long be-
fore this time by men whose opinions
would carry weight.
DR.. Shrady pronounces the present
method of executing murderers in
this and several other states as the
most brutal conceivable by the hu-
man mind! He goes much further
and declares that a clause in the bill,
ordering an immediate autopsy, is in
tended to make death sure!
That is to say, he asserts that the
attendant surgeons who carve up the
still warm body are the real execu-
TONERS.
Could any charge be more terrible :?
1t is. in effect, a dreadful humiliation
to the profession of surgery to COM
pei some of its members to destroy
signs of returning life by taking out
the heart and the brain Of the sup
posedly dead man within ten minutes
of the removal of the body from the
electric chair. Indeed. DIR. Shrady
makes the definite charge that one
murderer, named by him. was in
fair way to revive and was given a
poisonous drug that finished him.
Nothing more startling has been
uttered by a responsible man in
many years. His words would in
dictate that we are returning to the
days Of Socrates. when the death
penalty was inflicted by compelling
the condemned to drink hemlock.
After a long experience as reporter
and special correspondent, during
which many executions have been
witnessed, the writer would vote for
the guillotine, if he were asked how
he had to die as a condemned man.
1t is complete! There isn't any doubt
about the infection of the death
penalty. When a mans head is off
he is dead That for the man who
wants life to end beyond a Doubt
An acquaintance of the writer,
Edmund Yates, left a hundred pounds
in an envelope for a friendly sur
geon who would sever his jugular
vein after his death. He had a ter
rible fear of being buried alive.
In the cases of criminals, es-
pecially in this state, DR.. Shrady says
the compulsory autopsy guards
against that. Most of us expect, or
hope, to escape the electric chair.
Therefore we are not especially con-
cerned to know whether the I'M
fortunate chaps who have to die as
condemned men really expire by the
shock or by the knife.-Julius Cham
bers, in Brooklyn Eagle.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
seaweed solution of Food Problem.

That the process of dehydration may
solve the food problem of the world
when the population shall have exceed
ed the food productivity of the earth,
by turning the seaweed of the great
Sargasso sea into valuable food pro-
duct was the theory advanced by
Judge M. S. Griswold at a "dehydro"
banquet given the other day.
It was the first of the kind ever
served in the world. and was prepared
by Miss c. A. Lyford, a domestic
science expert of the State Normal uni
versity of Bloomington, Ill.
At this banquet the piece de resist
ance was seaweed done into fries,
roasts, purees, and many other con-
trived dishes by the skillful cook.
Every diner claimed to have enjoyed it
hugely, and all were up and about the
next day.-Waukesha (Wis.) dispatch
to New York American.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
[From the New York Press.1

from the view 1OTk HTeSS.J
when a girl is so clever with men is
making them think she thinks they
are.
The only mission a good many peo-
pie worthily perform in life is when
they get out of it.
The reason people seldom ever
learn a thing well is they begin at it
by thinking they know all about it.
A bride has such an imagination
she can go on believing it is still the
honeymoon when it's just housekeep-
ing
A woman's explanation of why she
played a hand of whist the way she
did is as convincing as a mans IL
Elimination of how he ought to have
won bet but lost it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
The Sucker State.

Illinois has been called the Sucker
state for many years, and her ma
tives are known as Suckers" A
dozen reasons or excuses have been
given for this strange designation, but
the only satisfactory one was told me
the other day by a grandson of Ninian
Edwards. 1.-The early pioneers adopted
many Indian habits. They even stra p
ped their babies to boards like
papooses. After they began to raise
hogs the mother would leave her lit
tie ray of sunshine alone in the cabin
for hours; but to alleviate his solitude
she gave him large piece of raw
pork to suck, first tying it to his foot
by a string, so that when he attempt
ed to swallow it the natural impulse to
kick would save him from choking"
New York Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
Couldn't Fool .Her.

1t was at Quimper in Brittany, that
a tourist found an old woman selling
trinkets. What is the price of this?
he asked, taking up an antique ring of
silver and sapphires. rs it for your
wife or your sweetheart pr said the old
woman. For my sweetheart Fifty
frances" Fifty francs! Nonsense"
And the tourist turned angrily away.
Come back said the old woman
Take it for ten. You've been lying to
me, though; you have no sweetheart.
Had the ring been for her you'd have
bought it at once without regard to its
price" "I will take-it,'' said the tourist
smiling. Here are the 10 francs" So
the old woman wrapped the ring up.
But you haven't wife, either she
grumbled. IF it had been for her
you'd have beaten me down to francs.
Oh. you men"-Chicago News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17

though they occasionally get helping
hand along the way through the med1-
UNI of suggestions. and that is really
about all the help that can be expected
from Mr.. Roosevelt's farmers commits
sion, and perhaps the help by way of
suggestions that this commission will
make will be as effective as they I'M
doubtedly will be extensive.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
SAME WAY OUT WEST.

When a western editor "goes after"
a man, he reminds us of New York
dramatic critic. In New York, dra-
matte critic will, for some reason, hate
popular play and actor. For months
he will abuse the play and actor. Be
cause the people do not accept the
views of the dramatic critic, the critic
Will abuse the people. The people
rarely read dramatic criticism but the
critic hammers away week after week.
all the time becoming more angry.
Finally, the owner of the theater where
the popular play is being presented
may refuse admission to the angry
dramatic critic. Then the dramatic
critic appeals to the courts, and that
feature of the case attracts his atten-
ton for a time. Finally, the court
gives its decision. and the dramatic
critic is permitted to enter the theater
again. He continues his abuse of the
actor and play, and sometimes he goes
crazy, or commits suicide. b. Isn't
that the way a western editor acts
when he "goes after a man? He hates
without reason, and carries his abuse
so far that he Injuries himself rather
than the object of his hatred-Atchi-
son Globe.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
WHY CALL IT ODD?

An odd thing about the results in
Kansas is that w. A. Reeder, the only
Republican congressman who in the
closing hours of the campaign deserted
Uncle Joe" Cannon, came within a
scratch of being defeated. Three days
before the election Reeder gave out
statement that if elected he would vote
for some progressive candidate for
speaker against Cannon. His plurality,
according to his chairman. s. N.
Hawkes. of Stockton, is less than 400
Winfield Tribune.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
KANSAS COANENT
PRoFITLEsS TALK.

Many people in Emporia, as in 9TH
er towns, are wasting these sunny
golden days standing around about
the marketplace and the tabernacle,
talking over the late election; explain
ing why Bryan was defeated; spec
ulat1ng as to what might have hap
pened had the result been otherwise;
dreaming pipe dreams, and weaving
airy fabrics which are of no earthly
use to a SOUL
Why not drop it all and get down
to business? The votes have been
cast. the country has been saved; the
Moving Finger writes, and having
writ, moves on. Let us also move on.
There are things to be done, and
they have been neglected too long.
The town is full of dead leaves and
rubbish; why not rake them up, and
trust Taft to do the right thing about
the regulation of the trusts? There
are old bottles and dead rats and such
things on the public streets; why not
cast them where they belong, and rest
secure in the belief that congress will
deal fntelligentIy with the Filipinos?
There is no human occupation less
profitable than this thing of thrash
ing straw that has been failed a thou
sand times. The weather is so beau
tiful and refreshing that any man
with blood in his veins should consid-
er it a pleasure to get busy and do
something useful; something for the
good of the town. of his family, and
of the race.-Emporia Gazette.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17
Shipments in all kinds of &c

Shipments in all kinds of goods
and merchandise are increasing;
prices are higher; collections are
easier and better and idleness is be-
dng greatly diminished. This is the
gist of the business and financial re-
views for the past week and they are
the beginning of the spelling of
prosperity" with capital letters.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17

Stephen B. Elkins, United States
senator from West Virginia, makes
emphatic announcement that his
daughter, Katherine. is not engaged to
marry the Duke of Abruzzi of the
reigning family of Italy. That ought
to settle it and may be looked upon
as extremely good news for Miss
Elkins. She's too nice a girl to get
snubbed by the royal DANES of any
land
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17

Oklahoma celebrated the first ami
versary of its birth as state on Mon
day and the chances are that this
baby commonwealth has tried more
important experiments in the adj
ministration of it's affairs than have
many of the older states during their
entire existence. And the adequacy
of a good many of them is yet to be
determined definitely. ..-.s....-
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17

If every hunter. or would be
hunter, that has gone out after quail
since the opening of the season and
will go out before the seasons end in
one short month gets two of these
birds, it may be set down that the
quail in Kansas this year were ex-
heedingly numerous
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-11-17

Final election returns show that
the Republicans will have a majority
of forty-seven members in the house
of representatives. This is certainly
an excellent working majority but the
great trouble is that it is the hardest
proposition in the world to get a
majority of the Republicans to work
together on such matters as tariff re-
vision and other questions of moment.