The Hays free press. [volume] (Hays, Kan.) 1908-1924, 1908-12-19

HEzISkCSi and Christmas, these
2AEI ~ Va years. l can remem-
Tx ~ M Der the time when there
l01$ ~ was stretch of about
IA N0\WMI IA years between the
l[SN ~ Fourth of July and
z&E Christmas, can't you,
fellers? Why, Christ
e mas'l be clomping along
before we know it. Right
now the time is drawing pretty close
when a fellow will have to be mighty
careful about opening bureau drawers
when his wife is in the room if he
doesn't want to be scared into a con-
niption when she notices what he's
doing. Y'see, this is just about the
beginning of the season when wives
start to hiding the Christmas presents
they've bought for their husbands.
Funny gag, that, too. Just why wives
will persist in hiding Christmas
gifts in bureau drawers that are
used IN common by both a man and
his wife, when there are so many sure
enough hiding places for such junk to
be found, has always had me winging.
But the women folks all do it, don't
they?
Then there's another thing about
this Christmas present hiding bust
ness. Most men stick it out that wom-
en- are the curious, inquisitive sex,
don't they? Well, 1 don't believe it.
In my opinion men are whole heap
more curious and inquisitive than
women. Fact is, know it.
For instance, a husband, long
about this season that's approaching,
is cropping around for a fresh shirt
upon getting up in the morning He
yanks out the wrong drawer of the
bureau. Well, on this morning he
pulls out the bottom bureau drawer,
say, and his wife, who is fixing
her hair at the chiffonier in an
other part OF the room, catches him
in the act just in time, let's out her
little squawk, and races over to the
bureau and pushes the drawer shut
SO it's there, hey?' he says to
her. Scuse me for living and then
the mullethead goes on grinning like
chimpanzee while he brushes his
hair. Then he turns to her
Watchoo got in there, anyway
he asks her.
"She tells him, with grimace,
and very properly, that it's none of his
business. And she adds something
about folks that rubber
but, say, g'wan and tell me what,
choo got in there. won't your he tries
again, wheedlingly.
''Whereupon his wife makes mention
of that feline that met an untimely
end through curiosity.
That's all right about the cat
says the husband then, but I'll bet
you a new rubber plant that it's cigars
that you've got in there And then
he begins to look bit alarmed. Say,
1 hope not, though. I'm thinking about
swearing off smoking soon now, any
how
"Of course, this statement is an I'M
worthy invention of the moment; yet,
when it comes to that, it would be sad
if men were to be condemned eter-
ually for attempting to head their
wives off from presenting them with
Yuletide cigars, wouldn't it?
But this hint of his about the CT
gars doesn't get the least bit of a
rise out of her. Not much. Nothing
whatever doing in the conversational
line on her part.
oh, I'm pinhead, sure enough
her husband says then, after a pause,
and still consumed and just eaten
alive by curiosity. I might have
known all the time that it's shaving
outfit. That's exactly what it is, for
a sure thing
However, his wife most carefully
adjusts her side combs and quite re-
Trains from talking. Then he sticks
his hands into his trousers pockets
and looks her over quizzically.
CAV, come on, now, like a good
girl, and tell me if you've gone and
got me that bath robe that we were
looking at in the shop window the
other afternoon he says to her in his
most persuasive tone.
Say, Minnie, you might let a fell
Ter see what you've got tucked in
there, at that
Gust compare the attitude of the
average husband in this Christmas
gift business with the position of his
wife on that same subject. She doesn't
really want to know what he is going
to give her for Christmas. She wants
to be 's'prised'
LOOK, here, hum, he says to her
some morning along toward Christmas
usually he puts it OF till about the
last day, when everything is all picked
over in the stores-Iook a-here, my
dear, whatchoo want for Christmas,
hey? It's up to you, you know?
why, the very ideal she exclaims.
up to me! Preposterous: Why, it
wouldn't be any Christmas gift at all
if 1 told you what I wanted you to
get for me-
"'Oh, that's one way of looking at
it, he says. But, dye know, 1 was
thinking about getting you
'Sh-sh-sh! Stopl' she cries. Don't
you dare tell me, Jack Costing. Don't
you dare!'
''All the same. she's foxy, at that.
After a while an idea strikes her.
You know, of course, Jack she
says, musingly. that if you are wor-