Los Angeles herald., 1908-02-21
PASTOR OF TEMPLE BAPTIST
CHURCH PHILOSOPHERS
TELLS AUDIENCE ALL ABOUT
"ExcEss BAGGAGE"
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Says the Cause OF
Many Troubles Is the 6or-
rowing of Extra
Troubles


church. in Berean hall, Auditorium
building, last evening. The entertain
ment was given under the auspices of
the Womans union of the church, the
proceeds going to the piano fund for
the church parlors. Mrs. Frank II.
Wolfe of the union was chairman of
the committee in Charge. The lecturer
spoke to the capacity of the f-use.
Young ladies of Temple church acted
as ushers for the occasion.
Attorney Madison b. Jones of Los
Angeles. a member of the Temple con-
gregation, introduced the speaker, and
said in part:
MIR. Burdette far surpasses many #
or greatest orators in that in all his
never once prostituted the public plat
form to the treet corner.
s'Our country has two Bobs, Fighting
Bob Evans and Lovable Bob. Fight
ing Bob is low making his mark In
the waters of the Pacific. Lovable Bob
is making his mark in the hearts of his
country"
The lecturer said in part:
1T takes SO much baggage tc get us
along to the place where we are going;
so much baggage to so few tools. A
soldiers haversack will hold ten times
as much as the cartridge belt; the
commissary train Is five miles longer
than the ammunlllOn train, DecduSc
even a sold n eats a hundred times
more than he fights.
"Excess Baggage"
THE burdens of life are the nom
essentials, the excess baggage. The
railway kings and managers, who al
ways travel in private cars. loaded to
the ventllators, with unanimous wis
dom have decided that 100 pounds of
baggage is enough to carry anybody
else around the world and back again,
and that only measureless greed and
ruinous extravaganza can pack more
than one hundred dollars worth OF
wearing apparel for a man and his
wife into a three-story trunk, includ-
ing evening dress, reception gowns, old
lace, house gowns, street costumes, golf
suits, automobile outfits, walking
clothes, rain coats, opera cloaks, and a
complete bridal trousseau. When a
man reads the baggage restrictions on
his railway ticket he wonders how on
earth there could ever be panic In a
land where the great railway corpora
lions are under the management Of
such rigid-nay, painful, even niggard-
ly-economy. And he keeps on Won
dering, every time he buys ticket for
hundred miles 1t isn't the fault OF
the men who travel in private cars
that the rest of us groan under the
grievous burdens of excess baggage.
No indeedy. They see to 1t that we
travel in light marching order. l have
sometimes thought that the Venus de
Milo was as poor as she was beautiful
and had dressed herself for railway
Journey, within the excess baggage re-
quirements, when the marble cutter
snap shotted her for posterity
Passengers Would Be Crowded Out
IT have thought that. because it is
so easy to think anything you think
you want to think. whether you be-
lieve it or not. But then, this much
will say for the economical views or
the railroad people on baggage allow
ance. If it wasn't for the wise restric-
tions placed on the amount of bagge
per passenger the passengers would
have to follow the passenger train on
fiat cars.
IAN industrious milkman who had
tied his best COW to the pump and
MIXED her until his arms ached ana
the well was dry, was toiling on his
rounds one day in February (pro-
nounced in prohibition towns Fee
brewery. waking the slumbering world
as he distributed pure artesion cream
along the Milky Way, laid scheme
which he was convinced would collar
the scads. When / have sold out all
the Owens river reservoir that | can
this morning (accent peculiar on the
CAM, I will sell my route to sucker
from Riverside, and then Will nave q
wad that will build me a grand stand
on Spring street to overlook the parade
when the feet is welcomed.
A crandstand Deal
THE seats I will make of Taft
width until after that the inspector
has accepted them. Then 1 will divide
them into Fairbanks sizes, and | VIII
rent them at 81 per; three seats for
one person. $3.50; two seats for three
persons. 81; three seats for five per-
sons. IS. This ought to net me $1l5O.7S.
That isn't enough. 1 will have to make
the seats smaller or charge more for
them. Hal he cried, with a sudden
inspiration. what's the matter with
doing both? l will do 1t. And when
the fleet sails away If I don't wear
diamonds and build the new theater
an Broadway that has been built every
wear since the first Admission day, l
am the standing high chump, that
alit' AS he thought what wide swain
he would cut amid the golden grain he
could not help tossing his head haught-
ily. He carried out his plan as per
schedule; put up his seats, supdlvioeo
the limited holdings, and had stand
for 1000 people that would seat 300 If
nobody sat cornerwise.
4 ne Unforeseen nS9'SeS'S
.'Then the unforeseen began to regis
ter. He had to give away all the best
seats to the councilmen, because-and
then the civil service commission
claimed second choice on account Of;
then the original Taft men, numbering
five, took the next row in Difference
TO-: then the presidents cousins
presented their claims, and the Evans
family piled onto him by thousands.
and then all the Welsh in Los Angeles
braced him for what was left, after
which he had to find Standing room for
secretary Metcalf's schoolmates. Al
ter the fleet sailed, away the naughty
milkrnan settled as far as he could
with the claimants for free seats who
couldn't get in edgewise, in order TO
avoid excessive damage suits, and the
man to whom he had sold his sprink-
ling cart boulevard took pity on him
and gave him job teaching backward
calves to drink SKINNED milk by hand
out Of a tin pail Immoral: The grand
stand dream makes the subscribers
moor indeed, but not always enriches
The man who promotes It,"
a--~ns&e e,.trl1a