The Manitowoc pilot. [volume] (Manitowoc, Wis.) 1859-1932, 1908-03-05
BIDDY'S
BLUM DERS


had received a telegram from New
York the night before saying that the
Van Swells were going through the
city and would stop over for short
visit. When she had mentioned the
circumstance TO her maid that naughty
individual had announced her own i'm
mediate departure. Hubby had had to
get breakfast that morning, the house
appeared to have reached the climax
of chaos, and the guests were to ar
rive at four o'clock.
Mrs. Youngwife had been at the
telephone all the forenoon trying to
get help, If only temporarily, but even
that seemed impossible on such short
notice. She would have to take the
company to the hotel after all, and
Dick would be so disappointed! He
was proud of his coy little home and
its mistress.
The dosrbell rang. Mrs. Youngwife
hastily dried her tears, showed the re-
mains of the Observation-Disclosures supper
under the davenport and scrambled
into becoming gown.
Place, mum, the intillygince loidy
tould me as how you'd be wantin a
CURL" said the hearty voiced Irish
woman who was ushered in.
Il do want one badly. Can you
come right away"
Biddy could come at once, and after
the usual preliminaries, she was duly
installed. She did beautifully the first
day Though inexperienced, she was
honest, clean and willing, and Mrs.
Youngwife was beginning to congratu-
late herself upon securing such
treasure. Her complacency received
something of shock, however, when
they all went down to breakfast the
next morning and found the melon
served on soup plates.
why, Biddy, told you distinctly to
put it on the small fruit plates" she
said reproachfully.
Did ye? Belize We did," replied the
girl. Il jist mistook fruit plates fur
soup plates Sure, darlint, ye wadnt
be blamin pore Biddy fur O. troitle
loike thot. That's nawthin' to worrit
yC at all. Emmy San en- ate fruit out
ov soup plate, but eff twas t'other
way about, an We had t ate soup out
ov fruit plate ut might be bother
some, bein' they're mostly SO SMALLER"
There was such a laugh at this that
the young housekeeper decided to
throw formality to the winds and
make a feature of Biddy. This was
done with so much success that when
the guests took their departure they
declared it to have been one of the
jolliest visits they ever had made.
Biddy's opinion of her blunders may
be gathered from her conversation
with the girl next door.
It's puzzlin, Maggie" she said, 9TH
way they say wan thing whin they
name anither. Whin they ask fur
chaze ye niver en- tell whittier they'll
be after havin' fish, flesh er fowl Ye
on'y en- be sartin it's not chaze they're
wantn'. Afore dinner the missus
Gums into the kitchen an says to me,
says she:
Can you make cocktail Biddy?'"
sure, mum, says l.
How do you make 'em?' says she.
81 generally roasts EN-, says |,
thinkin' she'd be mainin SOON kind av
a bird.
Cocktails aren't to eat. They're
to drink, says she.
40, it's soup you'd be havin' me
made wild 'em, is ut?' says |. Soon
does like 'em best that way
But wad ye behave ut, Maggie,
cocktails is a kind av a poonch ye
that looks like lie nd tastes like var
nish. Now, who'd be thinliin' they'd
Civ ut tn name av a bird?
An along this afternoon tn missus
says: Biddy,' says she, vain ye sarve
the five-o'clocll tay, bring in thin deft
cups without handles yell find in the
sideboard.' | wint L tn sideboard an
| seen SOON ould cracked cups like
thin me an Mike Civ Miss Dooligan
whin we cum t Ameriky. Sure,
thinks |, she can't be intindin' tn
qualerty t see thin ould things and
| got out SOON cunnin' little white
cups that sets up on standards like,
an took EN- inter tn parlor wild tn
tay. Whin tn missus seen 'em she
says %, Biddy, those aren't fer tay
Those are aig cups. Take 'em back
an bring in tn blue vans
Faith, an how wad | be KNOWN
they wuz aig cups? They wus nawth-
in at all like an aig. An bless We, the
company didn't know the difference
thim.olves. Wan ov thin wint t tn
winder, suddint like jist thin, an that
took tn attinshun ov the ithers. Eff
tn missus'd jist kept still they'd
drunk their tay an niver knowed
nawthin wuZ wrong.
But what bates me, Maggie, is tn
sinse OK ut all What fur do they ate
mate fur tWinty minits an thin salud
fur tin? Why c'nt they take a bit o.
mate an thin bit O salud, an thin q
agn, like me an Mike does? Ef tn
| creator'd NV intended thin t. be ct
squirt he'd agrowed first tn mate
nd thin the salud like Strawberries an
paches.
But there's many man in tn
| qualerty knows more nor the Creator
Ef tn Creator nd knowed as much es
wan ov thin invintors he'd a made
| hirud girls wild iron backs, six pair O.
hands, an perpitool motionwarks in.
~, 'arp