The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1908-02-22
OUTGOING
THE JANITOR
Mr.. Gilmore Finds It DIffIoult

had become OF II. ihe unanlmlLy
with which their co-tenants, through
the medium Of q common agent, ap-
piled to them for the restoration of
missing property finally became very
humillating, and Mr.. Gilmore said he
was going to put a stop to it.
Mr.. Gilmore had an opportunity to
pursue his drastic policy with the jan
ltor the very next morning. It was a
Sunday morning, and MI. Gilmore,
eager for battle, rushed to the dumb
waiter in response to the clarion call
from the j%anitor's speaking tube
Hello" he said.
Hello" came the reply from the
depths Of the basement, SAY, have
youse folks seen anything Of a basket
of aigs from the delicatessen that was
left on the dumbwaiter this morning
for Mrs. Washburn?"
mo" said Mr.. Gilmore, 1--WE haven't.
What do you take us for, anyway? A
pack of thieves? When things are
lost about the house, why don't you
go to some place else once in a while
to look for them? Why do you al
ways come to us?"
Because" came the unhesitating
response, you are the only people in
the building who never lose anything
yourselves
For a moment Mr.. Gilmore appeared
convinced by this apparently conclu-
sive evidence of his own guilt. but
soon his indignation as an injured
householder asserted itself, and urged
him to vindicate his honor.
THE only ones that haven't lost
anything, are we?" he retorted. well,
just let me tell you that is no proof.
We have lost things, too
You have?" exclaimed the %ianitor.
"You, never said anything about il"
mo- said Gilmore, 1--WE never did.
1--WE kept still out of consideration for
you. We felt sorry for you. We knew
you had a hard time keeping track Of
50 many different things. SO when we
lost steaks and groceries and milk
and papers we just did without, or else
went out and bought more rather than
worry you about it. But we're through
with all such mistaken kindness. Here.
after when we lose anything you've
got to hustle around and find 1t, OF
take chances on losing your job"
Having thus relieved himself Of q
part Of his b~ottled-up wrath, Gilmore
drew in his head and slammed the
door. Mrs. Gilmore stood at his ell
bow, pale and frightened.
"Oh, Robert" she said, what die
you mean by telling him that yarr
about our having lost things? W.
never have"
That's all right" said Gilmore. Il
is just as well to make him think so
What is more, | am going TO keep OF
rubbing u losses In.
Mr.. Gilmore instituted his system
of revenge on the following morning
"say, john" he said, did you SCI
anything Of a roll Of butter tn,
grocer's boy left for us this morning?
mo, sir" floated up mildly from thu
foot Of the dumbwaiter shaft.
'That is too bad" said Gilmore
Somebody has swiped 1t. You har
better find out who it was"
/, "All right said the j%anitor. III
get 1t for you"
Before Gilmore had finished hi
breakfast he was disturbed by a vic
lent whistling and shrieking at tn
tube and the creaking of the dumb
waiter.
( "Hello!" came a sepulchral voic
from the basement. Here's you
butter"
I Gilmore was too much astounded 3
I that unexpected announcement I
make reply.
, well, I'll be blessed" he sal
! where do you suppose he got it,"
What are you going to do with it.
cross-questioned Mrs. Gilmore.
Keep it, I suppose"
But 1t isn't ours" she %proteste
. HE must have scared one of II
netghbors into giving it up. You
better give 1t back to him to return
! them"
4 Never" said Gilmore. 'T've star
ed out to teach that fellow a lesso
and I'm going to stick to it. Silen,
9 just now is the best policy.
d In pursuance of his scheme for d
+: ciplining the %janltor, Mr.. Gilmore du
ing the next few days reported mis-
ing a pint Of cream, a ten-pound pac
age of %gEanuiated sugar, a quart
cranberries and a basket of potatos
and each time, 10 the Gilmores' eve
increasing a%mazement, John call
back after the lapse Of a few minute
eAll right, sir here 1t is"
AT last Mrs. Gilmore, being Of
superstitious bent, began to read d
aster in the janitor's e~xtraordina
obedience.
Il do hope" she said, that y
won't report any more fictitious loss
Wen be guilty Of robbing eyerybo
in the house before we get out Of Il
scrape.
The day after receiving the basil
Of potatoes, Mrs. Gilmore received
monthly bill from the grocer.
They've made a mistake she sa