The Washington herald., 1908-02-16

"No. job. that excuse will not do. I'm
getting tired Of these eternal excuses.
When I told you that because you fell
asleep in Little Haley's bed and set the
counterpaine on FIRE that l wouldn't
stand for any more smoking in the
house ] thought that IT wouldn't be any
great hardship for you to take a little
run around the block every time you
wanted to smoke one Of them Schenasty
Naturals, as you call EN-. and when you
went out after dinner, Job, / calculated
that maybe you'd smoke about two of
EN- and come back. and here it is past
Il o'clock. and, unless them cigarettes
have got alcohol in 'em you've been mix
ing in with some Of your old cronies.
Well you needn't think you can bluff
me out that way. job That no smok-
ing rule stays up. as long as I've got
anything To say about H.
I'm sorry you were not here. Job,
cause Ginny came while you were out
She stopped off on her way from New
York 10 the country. and she left you
her love. She looked awful pretty; she
had on pink bOmbazine. trimmed with
real lace and had a real mink collar
and muff, her husband sent her for
valentine. You know she's only been
married a fewgmOnths but it certainly
has made a wonderful change in her.
She's got lots more hair than when you
saw her last She says that all the New
York ladies are spending their money
for hair nowadays. Even if it doesn't
quite match it doesn't matter You
know it used to be the fashion to Dive
matched teams, and then the fashion
changed. and they drive a white horse
with a black one; or a brown with a
sorrel It's just the same with hair;
real blonde wears brown 'sausages,' as
they call the new curls. and possibly
her rat underneath is black. ] think
I'll get some Ginny says its real cheap.
as most Of II isn't real hair, but it an
swers the purpose. and. you know. JOB.
my false front is all faded since that
day il fell In the wash-tub,
Say job isn't politics getting in a
dreadful shape. From what ] can see,
they'll juE have to get another party.
Here's everybody jumping onto poor Mr..
Roosevelt and throwing his adjectives
back at him-Mr Rainey and Mr. CLARK
and Black and Culberson and Foraker,
in bis party and out Of it-they all begin
abusing him, and now, as a last straw,
they say that his latest message to
Congress is TO be dramatized. That will
be mis- finish. won't It? And all the
time they're abusing Mr.. Roosevelt,
here's Mr.. Loeb suffering. ] bet he
wishes that he'd taken that street car
job, don't you? Then onlR the long
suffering passengers in Washington
would scOld him; now everybody's scold-
ing him, and / shouldn't wonder If
they'd blame him If war should break
out
Mr.. Taft don't seem to be making
much he6dway. either: not with For
aker after him. It's like a game OF ten
pins-every time Mr. Taft sets up a
postmaster Mr. Foraker knocks him
down-and there goes a lot more votes.
And all the while the Democratic party
seems 10 be getting stronger, No sooner
does somebody get up in Congress and
denOunce Mr.. Bryan than here comes
the news Of strong recruits to the Dem
ocratic party-Mr. Onion, Of Texas: Mr..
GarIiek, Of Louisiana. and Mr.. Leek.
of Georgia. All they need now is a Mr..
Limburger. if they can find one any
where, and they'll be so strong that
even Philander Knox won't care to
tackle EN-
And in the meantime 1 cant see any
body struggling very hard for the job
OF Vice President They seem TO forget
that that's going to be vacant, too.
Twelve thousand dollars a year: it pays,
Job, and nothing much 20 do. Amt you
eligible for il, Job. I wish you d try for
IL; just think what We could do with all
that money. I suppose, though, when
ali is said and done, they'll give it TO
Baby Mckee LOngworth. The job most
always falls to a bald-headed man.
Have you been reading about the
feet, Job? l see they're down around
Chile now. That's where the Chile
con-carni comes from.
Little Emilys been following the
course Of the fleet on her map. and
you'd be astonished at all the geography
I've learned through that child. We
followed the fleet all down past that
green country, BraziI-that is. it's green
on the map-so suppose it means green.
fields and We stopped at Rio de Janeiro,
that's on the tropic Of Capricorn, you
know. Job. named after one of them
animals with a horn sticking out OF its
forehead. Nothing happened there, ex-
Cept a man hit a sailor over the head
with g bottle. Then we went on down
the feet did. and we followed 'eIa with
a lead pencil-to Uruguay. pink place
where We 'tounched somebody. so the
papers say, at Montevideo Then we
went on down past purple country
ATgentina-until we came to the Straits.
so-called because they're SO crooked
everything's topsy-turvey in these
Southern countries-and We went right
through with a purple map on ore side
fnd a yellow map on the other until we
came out on the other side-and now
we're in the Pacific, sailing up the long
est strip of yellow country in the world.
Chile. II runs all the way from Cape
Horn to 1quique-I don't know what
that last means. but if you pronounce
1t right, it sounds like a chicken drink
nEcEETr TAnon nroTcTozJc