davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
"Entertainins a German NobIeman."

"Entertaining a German NobIeman."
sue paper and only eight dollars in
their jeans.
Count Cheese Won Cheese was in
troduced to me by Uncle Peter as
plain Herr Bungstarter. and then
uncle whispered me next to the real
truth about the incognito gag.
Uncle Peter certainly does make
both ends meet in the lemon industry.
He is the original onion collector.
and he spends his waking moments
falling for dead ones.
! was on to Count Cheese Won
Cheese the moment he opened his talk
trap.
That milf is over here to pick out
an heiress and fall in love with her
because he needs the money.
Every steamer brings them over,
Bunch, some incognito, some in dress
suits. and some in hoe signo vinces,
but all of them able to pick out a
lady with bank account at so PAGES.
It's getting so now. Bunch, that an
open-face. stemwinding American
has to kick four dukes, eight earls,
seven counts, and a couple of princes
off the front steps every time he goes
to call on his sweetheart-if she has
money.
When l go down into Wall street,
Bunch, l find rich men with tears
streaming down their faces while they
are calling up on the telephone to see
if their daughter. Gladys. is still safe
at home, where they left her before
they came down to business.
Walk through a.peachy palace of
the rich on Fifth avenue, and what will
you find?
Answer: You will find proud moth
er bowed with great grief. and hold
ing on to a rope which is tied to her
daughters ankle to prevent the lat
ter from running out on the front
piazza and throwing kisses at the
titled foreigners.
You will find these cheap skates
everywhere, Bunch, rushing hither and
thither, and shifting the air for the
odor of burning money.
Why should it be thus, Bunch?
We have laws in this country to
protect the birds and the trees, the
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
Information Wanted.

A court. prisoner. purloined
watch. a country jury. The evidence
as to whether the prisoner had stolen
tne watcn was very conflicting. AS the
jury retired to consider their verdict,
the judge remarked that he would
willingly give them any advice the,
wished on any point in the case that
puzzled them.
Eleven jurors soemnly filed out, but
the twelfth hung back, perplexity writ
ten large on his countenance.
SIS there any question you wish to
ask me before you retire." asked the
Judge kindly.
The mans face frightened.
"Yes, yer Honor" he replied. eag-
erly, "Wot | wants to know is whether
e really did steal the watch!"
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
Joy Not Unmixed,

"Your husband will be all right
now. said an English doctor to a wo-
man whose husband was dangerously
ill.
What do you mean?" demanded
the wife. You told me he couldn't
live fortnight"
We'll, I'm going to cure him after
ALL" said the doctor. Surely you are
glad?"
The woman wrinkled her brows.
puts me in bit of an ole" she
said. i've been an sold all is clothes
to pay for is funeral"
Magazine
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
They All Want II,

1.-The late Joel Chandler Harris,
said an Atlanta clergyman, used to
laugh at the way everybody seemed to
want free advertisement of some
sort from the editor. 1t was the same,
he would say, with the physician
everybody wants free advice on the
health question from him.
Il once heard him tell about an edi-
tor whc served ten days in jail for
kicking the mayor. The warden
treated him very kindly. and at the
ten days end, escorting him to the
door and shaking him by the hand
said:
"'Well, gcod-by and good luck, ed.
And say, would you mind giving the
Jail a puff?'"
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
Just Wanted to Try It.

Farmer John left home one morning
and waited at the station for the lin
tied. He climbed aboard and shamblec
into the smoker.
"Mister," he drawled when the con
ductor halted before him, sis that thai
2-cent-a-mile rate good on this train?'
at is," replied the conductor brusque
ly Where is your ticket?"
The old man fumbled in the depths
of an ancient shotbag.
"Ain't got no ticket, mister" he
said slowly, but here be two cents.
never rode on one of these pesky fly
ers and ! just want to feel the sensa
ton. Put me off after I've rode one
mile"
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
MOTHER AND CHILD
Both Fully Nourished on Grape-Nuts

The value of this famous food is
shown in many ways, in addition to
what might be expected from it's chem
ical analysis.
Grape-Nuts food is made of whole
wheat and barley, is thoroughly baked
for many hours and contains all the
wholesome ingredients in these ce-
reals.
1t contains also the phosphate Of
potash grown in the grains. which Ma
/ ture uses to build up brain and nerve
cells.
Young children require proportion
ately more of this element because the
brain and nervous system of the child
grows so rapidly.
A Va. mother found the value of
Grape-Nuts in not only building up her
own strength but in nourishing her
baby at the same time. She writes:
after my baby came l did not re-
cover health and strength, and the
doctor said could not nurse the baby
as did not have nourishment for her,
besides l was too weak.
"He said l might try change of
diet and see what that would do, and
recommended Grape-Nuts food.
bought pkg. and used 1t regularly.
A marked change came over both
baby and I.
MY baby is now four months old,
Is in fine condition, I am nursing her
and doing all my work and never felt
better IN my life There's a Reason"
Name given by Postum Co. Battle
Croak Mich Road uTba Road m Well
VILE" in pkgs.
Ever read the above letter. A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full Of human
Interest.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11

Dispatches which would make your
blood curdle with anguish and sorrow
for the rich are flying all over the
country.
Something like this:
Boston. To-day: AT 1O:3O this
morning Rudolph Oscar Grabbitall, the
millionaire stone-breaker, read the
startling ncws that foreign count
had just landed in New York. His
suffering was pathetic. His daughter,
Gasolene Panatella, who will inherit
$19,000,000, mostly in bonds, stocks
and newspaper talk. was in the dental
parlor five blocks away from home
when the blow fell. Calling his house
hold about him, Mr.. Grabbitall rushed
into the dental parlor, beat the dent
list down with his bill, dragged Gaso-
lane Panatella home and locked her
up in the rear cupboard of the spare
room on the second floor of his man.
sion. Her teeth suffered somewhat
but thank heaven! her money will re-
main in this country. The commu-
nifty breathes easier but all the in
coming trains are being watched"
Are you wise, Bunch. to what the
pan-handling nobility of Europe are
doing in our dear United States?
They are putting all our million
aires on the fritz, that's what they're
doing.
1t will soon come to pass that the
heiress will have to be locked up in
the safe deposit vaults with papas
bank book.
Here is an item from one of our
most prominent newspapers. Read it,
Bunch, and then rush out and take a
running kick at the first nobleman
you see:
Long Island City, Now-Pinchem
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11

SHORTAGE, the millionaire who made a
fortune by inventing way to open
clans by steam, has determined that
no foreign count will marry his daugh.
ter, Sudsetta. She will inherit about
$4,000, 900, about SIS of which is
loose enough TO spend. The unhappy
father is building a spite fence around
his mansion, which will be about %
feet high, and all the unmarried mil
lionaires without daughters, to speak
of, will contribute champagne bottles
to put on top of the fence. If the
count gets Sudsetta he is more of n
sparrow than her father thinks he is"
It's pitiful, Bunch; that's what it
is. pitiful!
All over the country rich men are
dropping their beloved daughters in
the cyclone cellars and hiding
mammals stocking with the money in
it out in the hay loft.
am glad, Bunch. that am not a
rich man with daughter who is eat
ing her heart out for a moth-covered
title and castle on the Rhinewine.
You can bet, Bunch, that no daugh-
ter of mine can ever marry tall gent
with a nose like a quarter past six
and a knowledge of the English Ian
guage which doesn't get beyond
l. o. U.
Talk to the nobility you have been
hobnobbing with, Bunch, and see If
you can reform them.
Yours in hope, JOHN.
Copyright, 1905, by G. W. Dillingham; Coz
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11

ago / suffered mis-
cry with lumbaso.
E V very movement
was one of pain.
Doan's Kidney Pills
removed the whole
difficulty after only
a short time. AL.
though 1 do not
like to have my
name used publicly.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
Catarrh Cannot Be Cured

with LOCAL APPLICATIONS as they cannot reach
the OF the disease Catarrh is blood consti-
tutonal disease and In order to II must take
internal remedies. Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken In
ternay. and acts directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces. Halls Catarrh Cure Is not a quack incdi-
cine II prescribed by OF the best physicians
in this country for and regular prescription
1t is composed OF the best tonlcs known. combined
with the best blood purifiers acting directly on the
mucous surfaces. The perfect combination of the
two ingredients Is what produces such wonderful re-
suits In curing catarrh Send for testimonials free.
T. J. CHENEY Il CO.. Props. Toledo. o.
Sold by Druggists, price 75c
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
TIE Hurry Fad.

"Mr. Cleveland" said a Princeton
lecturer. had little sympathy with the
rush anc hurr" that the American busl-
ness man so cumplacently affects-no
sympathy with train and boat dicta-
ton, with the lunch table telephone,
the letter phonograph and the other
Bluffs
Don't rush so,' Mr.. Cleveland once
said to me. Lightning might do a
great deal more if it wasn't always in
such an awful hurry"
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11

1 make an exception in this case, so
that other sufferers from kidney trou.
BILE may profit by my experience"
Sold by all dealers. SO cents box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
Proctor's Retort,

The late Senator Hoar of Massachu-
sets was one of the most benevolent
looking old gentlemen who ever sat in
Congress, but he said pretty sharp
things now and then in debate.
Why" he explained one day, no
man in Vermont is allowed to vote un-
less he has beaten Massachusetts, peo-
pie out of $1,000 trading horses"
And we all vote" beloved Sena-
tor Proctor of Vermont.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
The Limit.

She-He's the meanest man I ever
knew.
He-What's he done?
why, he tried, this year, to make
his wife wear the bonnet his horse
wore last ummer!"-Yonkers States
man.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
30 Social Standing.

What do you think, Maria?" ex.
claimed the steel magnate. Our son
Reginald writes that he is on his we'd
ding trip ar.l his wife is paragon"
"A Paragon?" echoed his wife.
Dear me! ! can't recall the name OF
Paragon in the social register. You
must look her up at once, John, and
see If Reginald has disgraced himself
by marrying into an inferior family"
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11

One difference between a man and a
mule is that the man does the most
of his kicking with his mouth.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11

Mrs. wInslow's Soothing syrup.
FOR children tcething softens the gums reduces NJ
esmmnton aliays palm. wind colic. 2ac bottle
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
poetry go

Timid Bard-D-does poetry go
around here?
Cruel Editor-Some of 1t does.
That last batch you submitted just
went out of the window.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11

Aliens Foot-Ease, IA Powder
For swollen. sweating feet. Gives Instant relief. The
original powder for tho feet. 25c ut all Druggists
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
A TEXAS CLERGYMAN
Speaks Out for the Benefit of Suffering
Thousands.

Rev. G. M. Gray. Baptist Clergyman,
of Whitesboro, Tex, says: -Four wears
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11

Pretty teeth are responsible for a
good many smiles.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11

The man who pays his debts is true
to his trust.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
Physicians Recommend Castoria

AsT0RA has net with pronounced part physicians pharm
ouoal societies and medical authorities It is used h physicians with 18th
fcts The idputabo evidence that it harmless
s'elhat not only ays stomach pains and qus the nerves. but mi
absolutely does contain any Opium, Morphine other narcotic
spe unlike Soothing syrups Batens Drops Godrey
Medical Journal Our duy how
ever expose record the advancing health The day
poisoning Innocent children through greed ignorance ought end To
knowledge Castoa remedy which produces and health by
regulating by stpefng i-and readers entitled to
the informaion.-Hazs Journal of Health.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11

Sold throughout the world. Depots London, y,
Charterhouse So Paris, 5, Kue de Ia Pair Austria
Caicntta; China, Hong KGng Drug Co; Japan,
Maruya, Ltd, Toxic; Russia, Ferrein, M2scow
Potter Drug Chem. Corp, Sole Props, Boston.
aS-Post-free, Cuticura Book on Care of the Skin.
The Springfield herald., 1908-09-11
Letters from Prominent Physicians
addressed to ChaS. H. Fletcher.

Haad Scott OF Chicago. Is II have prescribed you
practice and find satisfactory
Ohio Your Castora stand
In thirty Of practice can say never nav
found anything that filed the place."
Brooklyn N Y. II have used Castoa AM
remedy household and private practice TO
The formula is excellent"
Dr. r. j. amen, Of Detroit Mch T prescribe your Castori
extensively found anything to equal 1t for children
there limitations in the field but alway
that patients get Fletchers"
"As tho father OF thirtee
something medicine and asd
of practice found Cas-
efficient remedy in almost home
Philadelphia, The that your Gas
Of thousands Of homes blessed by tn
be supplemented by the endorse
of heartily
believe excellent remedy"
Dr. ward physicians generally
preparations hut the of Castora
Of other physicians taught to make an
Casoa practice because have found
reliable remedy for chdrens complaints Any phys
family will Join mo in hartes recon
of Castor
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-05-14
SLAUGHTER IN 4 JAIL.
Russian Guards kW Tzcenty-nine
Prisoners at EkaterinOsi0T.

Fkaterinoslav, May 13.-The attempt made
YESTERDAY by prisoners to break Jail here after
making breach in the wall of the guardroom
with bomb failure. but it brought about
a horrible scene of slaughter in and around the
Jail building. Twenty-eight of the prisoners
were shot to death by the guard, and one of
them has since died from his wounds. Thirty
others were wounded and it is expected that
several of these will die
As soon as the bomb was thrown of the
detachment of prisoners charged the guards in
the courtroom and attempted TO climb the wall.
Twelve of these men were killed instantly. while
others were wounded. At the same time a sec
ond body of prisoners rushed to the kitchen,
and, seizing knives and other weapons, at
tempted to cat their way to liberty. They were
surrounded and killed to by the soldiers,
who were hastily summoned by the prison
authorities
The explosion threw the whole prison into
state of panic. The inmates who took no part
in the plot gathered in the windows overlooking
the courtyard They were ordered draw
back, but refused. whereupon the guards fired
volleys into the open windows. Two prisoners
were shot down while attempting to escape over
the roof of the building. SO far as is known not
one succeeded in getting away. The chief
warden of the prison is among the wounded.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-05-14
TOTGL SHORTAGE 81, $50, 900.
41Ueged That Pittsburg Cashier
ODerated bU Spurious Notes.
IBy Telegraph 10 The Tribune

by Telegraph TO The Tribune
Pittsburg. May 13.-As result of further in
vestigation by National Bank Examiner William
L. Folds the shortage of William Montgomery,
former cashier of the Allegheny National Bank.
has been increased $1000o0, making the total
amount of his known defalcation S1.3J00D0
To-day Montgomery. under guard of his
friends, was taken to the office of his attorney,
where he made another and fuller statement. 1t
is said that he gave information which will
probably result in the arrest of persons impli-
Gated with him in Iooting the bank
The announcement was made this afternoon on
the floor of the Clearing House that the Marine
National Bank. which for years has cleared
through the AIleghany would in future clear
through the Union National
The system by which Montgomery is alleged
TO have operated became known to-day. 1t is
said that most of the money was taken from
the bank notes signed with names greatly re-
sembling those of prominent business men, the
names being slightly misspeed or the middle
initial changed. 1t is asserted that Montgom-
cry later signed the names correctly. and that
there will likely be number of charges of for
gerry made against him
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-05-14
SEAMAN APPROVES TEST
DIDN'T CALL BRIDGE SAFE.
ReUised Strain Sheets of Black7CelPs
Island Structure Uithhcld.

The positive statement made by ex-Bridge COM
missioner Lindenthal in The Tribune yesterday
| morning that the Blackwelrs Island Bridge would
be dangerously overloaded if the structure should
be completed with the high stresses provided FOR
in the revised plans brought forth no answer What-
| ever from the officials of the Bridge Department.
Commissioner Stevenson scoffed at the suggestion
made by Mr.. Lindentha that a model of the main
compression members of the bridge should be made
and tested, and intimated that inasmuch as the
departments engineers knew the bridge was safe
it would be simply waste Of public money I"
make such Chief Engineer lnSerSou posi-
lively refused 10 talk
Henry 3. Seaman chief engineer Of the Pubic
Service Commission and formerly of the bridge
experts of the engineering staff of the city Bridge
Department on the other hand. regarded the sus-
gestion for a model test made by ex-Commissoner
Lindenthal Il admirable one, and expressed the
opinion that the Department of Bridges should vel
come Endorsement by a comission of expert en-
gineers.
COMMISSIONER AND ENGINEER CONFER
Commissioner Stevenson had consultation yes
terday morning with {. NJ Ingersoll, his chief en-
gneer. regarding the statement made by Gustave
Lindenthal in The Tribune. Following it Mr-
Stevenson said:
We know We right in our construction OF
the Rlackwers Island Bridge. We know the bridge
is safe. We had the bridge computations rehsured
from top bottom after the Quebec bridge dlsas-
ter. and found that the weakness there did not
in any way exist in the Blackwell's Island struct-
! do not purpose to be drawn into an arsu-
with a anonymous engineer. While Mr.
Lindenthal has been quoted TO some extent, he
says himself that he is not familiar with the
changes that have been made,
Mr.. Stevenson said earlier in the day that after
the Quebec disaster Mr.. IngersoI, Mr.. Seaman.
John 3. Wilkins and Leon S. Moisseiff were sent
by the department to make investigation Of the
of the collapse. This was done because the
HackWell's Island Bridge also cantilever
structure. Their verbal report to him, Mr.. Steven
son said. agreed with that OF the Canadian COM
mission but no written report was made, as their
information confidential
These engineers then made thorough re-eXalni-
nation the local bridge Mr.. Stevenson said that
they were satisfied that the structure was abso-
lutey safe. He said that Mr.. Moissef had made
a report to the United States government having
been detailed do Mr.. Stevenson said that
there was probably superior in the profession to
Mr. Moissef in figuring tensile strength in bridges.
is in Europe.
Mr.. Lindenthars suggestion of model to give
a practical test of the bridge scoffed at by
Mr.. Stevenson. He said that they were
that the bridge safe it would be foolish to
subject the city to the additional cost.
MR.. SEAMAN FAVORS A TEST.
Henry B. Seaman, chief engineer of the Public
Service Commission, asked by Tribune
porter if he had made a verbal report while
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-05-14
by the Pictorial News Company

member of the engineering staff OF the Bridge
Department to the effect that he satisfied that
the BlackwelPs Island Bridge, erected. was alb
aSolUtely safe, stated in the interview earlier in
the day with Bridge Commissioner Stevenson?
Il have not had time replied Mr. Seaman "to
read carefully the article which appeared in The
Tribune of Monday morning with respect to the
Blackwelrs Island Bridge, but abstracts from it
have been read tc me l have also glanced over
the article in The Tribune 4 this morning which
contains the suggestion from eX-Commisstoner
Lindenthal that tests of models OF the main COM
preston members Of the structure should be made
| think this suggestion admirable one; the cost
would be comparatively small. and l think it un-
doubedly would receive the Endorsement of Chief
Engineer IngeTsoll.
The Bridge Commissioner. in n statement made
to-day said that you werr one of party of four
engineers from the city Bridge Department that
was sent 10 Quebec to make an investigation into
the cause OF the collapse of the cantilever bridge
there He also stated that you agreed with the
views EXPRESSED in the report of the Canadian
commission as To the of the collapse?'
The views of the Canadian commission had not
l,een eApressed at the time made report.
New-York tribune. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1866-1924, 1908-05-14
~ MURDER EXPLAINED
TO KILL BUTCHER.
But WOuld-Be Tictim Used Knife
Frst-TzcO 4Tests.

With the arrest for the second time of Pas
quae Lavaglia late yesterday by detectives
of the Central Office, the police have a prls-
oner who seems able to explain the muir
der of Thomas PermO on the Third avenue
elevated station at 2Sth street Tuesday
night. The prisoner appeared on Tuesday
evening at st. Gregory's Hospital where he had
several stab wounds dressed. which he told the
police he had received at Third avenue and nth
street He was permitted to go. and then the po-
lice received word of tn. stabbing at 18th
street.
After Lavaglfa was put through the third de-
gree the police learned, they say, that he and
two others were hired to kill named
Whitley" Miller. an employe of a butcher shop
at No. &c Catherine street, and that it was he
whom they thought they attacked on the steps
of the 2Sth street station.
Perino the murdered man, was one of the
trio. according to the police, the prisoner him
self was another. and the police say they know
the third but won't tell who it is. Corrobora-
ton of the information alleged to have been OBJ
taned from Lavaglia came to the Central Office
yesterday the telephone, voice at the
other end saying I'm the man who killed
PcrimO but 1 did it in self-defence; he and two
others set uI6n me, and l had to defend my
self
Late last night the Miller of the case. who
proved to be Oscar Mueller of No. 456 Fburth
avenue. Brooklyn. arrested near there by
Manhattan Central Office detectives and locked
up at Police Headquarters, charged with caus-
ing the death of Thomas Permo.
Mueller said he worked for butcher named
Kahn, at No Sc Catharine street. On Friday
last he said. he and another emplOye, William
koenig. of No. 104 Marcy avenue Brooklyn
out in front of the shop unloading some
beef. Two Italians who were lettering about the
doorway got in his way. he declared and after
he had ordered them TO get away and they still
persisted in hanging about he knocked one of
them over.
ON Saturday, he said. an Italian entered the
store and, coming up to him. said: I've been
hired to Go you up for $50: now. | don't want
to do you up. so let's get together on this deal
this way. You meet me somewhere and I'll
bang YOU up a little and you put some bandages
around your head and make out you've been
handled pretty roughly, and We'll split the $50"
After that Mueller said he heard there was d
gang of Italians trailing him
And then Tuesday night" continued Muel-
ler this gang jumped on me on the II steps,
and l pulled the knife and got busy. One feI-