Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-07-24
DRIFTwOOD
BYLUE VERNON.
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ia BYLUE r. VERNON. Z
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A man should never blow his owl
horn unless he IS musician.
The desire to take Harry Thaw t,
Europe ought to be encouraged.
Politics is now simmering in tn
State, prior to being barbecued MIC
and brown this fall.
When people get so they can fl
from place to place, policemen vii
have to be good wing shots.
The weeping heroine has fled,
The faintfng heroine's no more;
For gain or loss we have instead
One who talks epigram galore.
The difference between character
and reputation is the difference be
tween what people know about ;
man and what they don't know.
A Chicago newspaper says the
girls in that city are all poems. ,
AS this is leap-year, l assume, &
good many of the poems are rejected
An Ohio man claims to have in.
vented an airship that will stay ur
for months" 1t will doubtless make
q hit with men who occasionally find
it necessary to dodge their creditors.
Pistol carriers without a license
are now to be severely punished in
Chicago. but a man who is held up
and robbed at the muzzle of gun
would hardly think to ask the man
behind it whether he had license.
Mr.. Starfsh-" For whom are you
footing those socks?"
Mrs. Starfish-'' For benevolent
society"
Mr.. Starfsh-'' Do you know, you
might send the society my address.
Perhaps they would send me pair. /"
"Owl cars" in Toledo, Ohio, are
declared to be financial failure. and
will soon be discontinued. Toledo,
husbands, it seems, from this dis
tance. have been trained to turn
in at a reasonable hour and bache-
lOrS are saving car-fare for some
more useful purpose.
+ 4 r
In Alaska - Native (of Golden
So you're goin ter start
paper here, eh? What yer goin' ter
call it?"
Aspiring Journalist" The Plain
Dealer, and its motto will be, Hew
to the line, let the chips fall where
they may
Native (elatedly) - by gum!
friend, yer goin' ter fill a long felt
want; we always needed q journal
devoted ter poker up here.
4 4 4
l hate to read of Mr.. Carnegie's
disapproval of the trusts. | always
did dislike to see man go back on
his old friends. Yes, gratitude, at
least, ought to cause q man to
" praise the bridge that carries him
over" but human nature is the
same the world over, just the same
with the millionaire as the ordinary
citizen. The recent convert is al
ways the most violent denunciatOr
of the devil. The reformed drunk
ard has less patience with other
men who may suffer from the infirm-
ity which once held him than has the
believer in temper
ance. The man who reforms after
he has got enough" is not the
proper man to assume to himself the
post OF advising the public.
4 4 4
She Had Experience.
A rather good-looking couple en-
tered an Olympia minister's parson-
age the other day and requested that
the divine should unite them in mar
riage. At the conclusion of the cere-
mOny the preacher, out of his vast
gave them a few words
of friendly advice. After he had OK
planned to the young man his duties
as husband, and SO on, he turned to
the bride. He told her how she must
herself, that she must look
to her husband for everything. and,
father and mother, broth
ers and sisters, follow him every
where he went. She endured it for
D little while, but as he became elo-
quent she became restive and finally
she interrupted him with the remark:
" Cut that short, preacher; I've been
twice before"
A Delicate Subject.
She was most fashionably gowned;
every particle of her attire was up to
date. and every woman turned to give
her second look. AS she came to
crossing, however, she lifted her
silken skirt little higher, and o,
horror. there was hole in her black
stocking, disclosing the white flesh of
her dainty ankle beneath. One could
not help seeing it.
Gracious, said / to my wife,
Isn't 1t shame that young lady
who is so well dressed should be so
careless as to 60 about with hole in
her stocking?
20, you stupid" replied my wife,
that's just like you men. Don't
you know that there is a purpose in
that. That young lady has put that
hole in her stocking purposely."
20, nonsense" | said.
No nonsense about it. That
young lady prides herself of her
small ankle, and she is bound to at
tract attention to it. For that reason
she had made hole in her stocking,
and she knows that every time
she lifts her skirt just wee bit per-
sons are going to see that hole and
admire that ankle"
Well, she certainly has a pretty
ankle, y | said.
Sir! how dare you?" almost
my wife.
| said no more, and the subject of
holes in stockings was not discussed
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