The Calhoun chronicle. [volume] (Grantsville, W. Va.) 1883-1984, 1908-05-26
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lance, by the way, for Purdy is a man
OF genius, and, of course. has the
distinguishing mark OF genius
long nose.
But he helped me to my feet, and
he and Kate got out where it was
plain sailing, and told me to flourish
my arms and strike out. l flourished.
and struck out, / struck out with so
much vigor that / struck ice all over.
and six feet Of Potts lay prone upon
the surface of the pond.
Verify, the feet of the wicked do
take hold on slippery places.
Kate and Purdy righted me, and
gave me few instructions in the art
OF skating, and told me to 60 IL
alone.
l set forth. Such a sensation as I
telt all over! My heels were running
away with my head in spite of me,
had to keep both legs going as fast
as ever 1 could, for fear one would
stray too far from the other. A
mans legs, you know, were made to
traVel in company. 1 leaned back as
tar as could, and kept no lookout
ahead. left my head to the care of
Providence had my heels to look
after. You should have seen mel 7
peat Lou Dillon, l think, by the way
my head whirled.
got In among a whole parcel of
women, or they got in among me.
hardly know which; and as they cut
across my track it demoralized me.
and got me out of my groove. l tried
TO stop! l threw out my arms and
seized something to steady me. If
proved to be a woman's skirt. RIM
rip! rip! went the Fuckers! woman
screamed clutched the tighter,
and the next minute 1 came down
handsomely, and brought the woman
with me.
Then l tried to get up, but my
skate iron was hitched into some of
her furbelows, and when she tried to
get up she dragged me with her
with my fine Grecian nose-that is
what Mrs. Potts calls it when she is
good-natured-carving the ice in all
kinds of figures.
"oh, Lordy!" SEE I. "let go-do let
go, l say"
Let go yourself!" says she, mad
as March hare, and kicking at me
the best a woman knows how, "Il
nave you horsewhipped for this!'
Just then l fetched a bounce. for
my nose came in contact with a root
which nearly tore it out By the roots,
and made me determined to get at
the root of the matter Down came
the woman again. and she cIutched
me like tigress! What could do?
l tore myself from her, but her skirt
still remained on my skate iron.
Madam" says I. lifting my fore
top, for my hat had been lost sight
OF In the struggle, Il beg"
never got any further!
Just then, looking up, l saw a sled
coming at lightning speed with two
ladies on it, propelled by a skater.
VINO ran behind them. They were
coming right in my track, and would
be sure to run me down! For on
skates had no control of my move
ments, and If tried to turn out one
way, | should be Just as likely to
turn out the other!
There was no time for deliberation
l must go with them. 1 removed one
leg from the other as far as I possibly
could, and awaited the coming OF the
sled. When IL came was colossus
modern, OF course-and when they
Went TO pass through me l sat down
on them.
1t was doubtless a great shock 10
them, but there are a great many
shocking things I'm this world
me women screamed and above
their voices / heard another scream
which sounded much like an impre-
cation. j cast my eyes shoreward
and beheld Mrs. Potts bearing down
upon us like a seventy-four gun
frigate.
stop" says she. Potts, I com
mand you TO stOpi"
y can't, my dear" says 7. "I am
no longer a creature Of my own Volt
ton. I should like to, but I can't
Mrs. Potts made a dash toward us
the sled struck her hard; she screamed
and came down. and the sled bounced.
turned tho other side over. and land
ed us all in a heap on tire body OF
MIS-. Potts. 1t was, probably the
softest place on the ice
But Mrs Potts was anything but
soft about II. She pummeied m
head, aud she called me all the bar,
names In the dictionary, and vowed
she'd get a divorce from me for sit
ting In the laps OF two women
once.
I told her 1t was an accident. bu