davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15

GOOD
Short Stories

Henry ]. Byron, one of the wittiest
of English playwrights of a score of
years ago, remarked on one occasion:
"a play is like a cigar. If it's good,
everybody wants a box. If it's bad, all
the putting in the world won't make 1t
60"
Newspaper men were to be excluded
from a famous trial. That's good"
one of them remarked. Il hate to be
hampered by facts in writing up case
of this kind"
A young man who had just entered
the office of jeremiah Mason, the great
New Hampshire legal luminary, to
study law, asked him where he should
begin. Mason, pointing to the books on
the library shelves, answered laconic-
ally: Anywhere"
The daughter of an English lady Of
very high rank had Zone pain in her
foot, which her mother asked the gov
erness to be good enough to look at.
The latter, after examining 1t, said,
with Difference, IF it were not for her
ladyship's exalted rank, 1 should say
1t was a bunion."
Andrew Carnegie Is fond Of quoting
the witty remark made by an old
friend of his in Pittsburg, who for
some time held the record for fast
horses, but was one day beaten in a
brush by young man. The old gentle
man disappeared for some time. He
had gone to Kentucky to get a horse
that would re-establish his supremacy.
He was being shown over a stud, and
had already gone past long string of
horses with their records on the stall
and the victories they had won. Then
he was taken through long line of
young horses with their pedlgrees,
from which the dealer was proving
what they were going to do when they
got on the track. The old gentleman,
wiping his forehead-for 1t was a hot
day-suddenly turned to the dealer,
and said: Look here, stranger
you've shown me have beens,' and
you've let me see your 'going-to-be's,'
but what am here for is an 'iser.'"
Porter Wright, who was servant in
the employ of Daniel Webster, says the
great statesman's sense of humor was
infinite. On one occasion a man pre-
scented bill to him for payment.
why" said Webster, ~ have paid the
bill before" The nelghbor assured him
tat he was mistaken. "All right, then :;
call again in the morning, and will
settle with you" AS soon as the man
was gone, Webster called his son
Fletcher, and told him to look over his
papers and see If he could not find
receipted bill. To the surprise of both,
two receipted bills were found, show
ing that the bill had been paid twice.
Webster put the receipts In his pocket
and said nothing. In the morning the
neighbor returned for the money. Web
ster took his seat under the old elm,
and began: "Mr. Blank, do you keep
booksf" The man assured him that he
did not. 'Then 1 would advise you to
do sou said Webster, and pulling one
of the receipts from his pocket handed
1t to him. The man was covered with
confusion, while Webster continued:
"And while you are about 1t you had
better get a book-keeper who under
stands double-entry !" at the same time
handing him another receipt. "Now,"
said Webster, II am going to pay this
bill just once more, but assure you,
upon my word of honor, that will not
pay it the fourth time"
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
"THE HEART OF BRUCE



Many mother has made the dis
covery that nothing will keep an active
child within bounds like an interest
Ing book. The mother of Gen Lew
Wallace found that as soon as the boy
could read he was happy with a story,
ana bethought herself Of long, good
one, 'rhe Scottish Chiefs" In his au.
photography Gen. Wallace records the
fact that at first there was much halt
Ing and stumbling; the broad Scotch
names refused to be spelled; and not
until he realized that the story was
about a man who was actually named
after his brother William" did the boy
become interested.
Then my brother read the won.
drous tale, and we debated 1t early
and late. We cried over Its sorrowful
passages trembled while the battles
were In progress, and were genuine
Scots, whether the victory was for or
against US
was such pleasure to be bottled IN
for us alone2 We called In our chums.
one Robert Evans, and two Others
Henderson Rawles and Wesley Harper
The five read the heroic chronicles to
gether, whereupon we turned them intb
play.
Each took character. On account
OF his name, my brothers right to the
role of Sir William was admitted.
I'm deadliest earnest we went to war
with the naughty English. We made
helmets of pasteboard and swords OF
seasoned clapboards. The young hazel
shoots we wove into shields.
Sad to say, however, at last we los,
the heart of Bruce'-a tin can loaded
with sand. My brother one day es.
sayed the part Of Douglas. We found
the 'Moors In the bend above the
town, under a grove of sturdy water
naples. Nothing daunted by thel,
numbers, our leader flung the sacred
relic and called on us to follow him
We were winning a splendid victory.
The sunhowers strewed the ground.
Suddenly a great growl arose before
us. We had not time to ask, What
nowr Out of the thicket rushed the
mother of a litter of half-grown pIes
The bristles on her back were as long
as the pins on Georgia confer, and
they all stood erect.
Fright at us she dashed, and we for
got the silver case entrusted to us by
the redeemed people of Scotland; we
ran. Presently Black Douglas and all
his peerless chivalry were high on the
limbs of trees, and wondering when the
feroclous enemy would raise the siege
We reached home by the dlrectesa
route, but never returned for tho
heart of Bruce"
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
DO WE EAT TOO MUCH.

Reasons Advanced for Remarkable
Deterioration of the Heart.
The increase In the number of fatal
cases of heart disease in the boroughs
of Manhattan and the Bronx for the
first eleven months of 1907 over the
corresponding months of 1905 was
1,246, or about 81 per cent, says the
Boston Herald. The total number of
deaths in the city Of Chicago for the
same period was 2,497, an increase of
1915 per cent over the figures of the
previous year. Health authorities In
each city find In the figures cause for
special comment, and for warning to
the people. Grip, developing into pneu-
monia and attacking the heart is
common cause of fatal heart disease,
but the health experts In each city are
of the opinion that the present mode
Of living, and especially overeatlng, is
chiefly responsible for the deterioration
Of the human heart.
DIR. Darlington, president of the New
York board of health, says that over
eating Is a principal cause, and that 1t
is time for the Americans to adopt the
simple life and slow down. DR.. Gull
fOy Of New York says that overeating
and too little exercise are prominent
causes. DR.. st. Clair Drake of the
bureau of municipal statistics does not
hesitate to say that overeating and too
much drinking are weakening hearts,
and that there must be an avoidance
Of late suppers, a reduction in the
amount Of food and drink consumed,
and an Increase in the amount Of exer-
else taken.
Many experts claim that men cut
their lives In two by neglect Of hygienlc
principles in the regulation Of their liv-
ing. Rational and proper diet is not
the only thing, of course, but in con-
nectlon with pure air, sufficient sleep,
exercise and proper conduct, it occupies
a place of sufficient prominence to re-
celve attention.
The Yale experiments, In which nine
students followed for 1--WE months the
Horace Fletcher rules of complete mas
tication and lessened meat diet, are
familiar. Close attention to these rules
led the students to adopt a simpler
diet, which had quite as much to do
with results as the observance Of the
rules in regard to masticatlon. Tests
showed that the men practically dou-
bled their powers of endurance during
the period Of the experiment.
Prof. Chlttenden Of Yale also con-
Quoted an experiment with group of
men, composed in part OF Yale stu
dents and in part Of representatives
from various sections of the country.
Gymnastic endurance tests were made,
and it was found that those who were
accustomed to an ordinary diet Of
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
Tho Letter Followed.

Just as Henry Labouchere had beef
appointed secretary to the British EN-
bassy at Constantinople his chief, Lord
Hammond requested him to proceed
to Constantinople without delay. But
this arrangement did not suit Mr.. La
bouchere, and a week later his CHIEF
saw him strolling lelsurely along the
Strand. The latter glared menaclngly
upon him and hurried ON to his club.
A very peremptory letter was the
result, but Mr.. Labouchere guessed the
nature of the message and recognized
the writing, so he did not open the en-
velope, but placed it in the tail pocket
OF his coat. Then he set Off for a little
holiday at Baden-Baden, and when be
had been there for a week or so he
opened the letter.
Now" he remarked to a friend
you can appreciate my foresight In
placing Hammond's letter in my tai
pocket, for l shall write him as fol
lows:
My lord, 1 have just read your let
ter, which followed me to Baden-Bs
dem"
This explanation of the delay wal
regarded as wholly satisfactory b,
Lord Hammond, who until he received
1t had been disposed to be very wrott
with his dilatory assistant.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
Tailr ma Their uae..

A cat never actually wags Its tall.
Why should It when 1t can purr3 But.
nevertheless, It seems to serve the
same purpose in permitting a temper
airy expenditure Of excess nervous
energy when the animal IL under great
strain. For instance, when carefully
stalking bird or man, as in the case
Of kitten or a lion, the tip Of the tail
Is never still for a moment-ever curl
Ing and uncurling. We may compare
this to the nervous tapping Of the foot
or fingers in a man. When an angry
lion IL roaring Its loudest, his tail Will
frequently lash from side to side, Civ
Ing rise among the ancients to the be-
lief that he scourged his body with a
hook or thorn which grew from the end
Of the tail. When a jaguar walks along
a slender bough, or house cat peram-
bulates the top Of 4 board fence, we
perceive another important function OF
the tail-that Of an aid in balancing.
Az a tight-rops performer sways his
pole, 30 the feline shifts it's tail to pre-
serve the center Of gravity. The tail of
a sheep seems to be Of little use to its
owner. although In the breed which IL
found In Asia Minor and on the table
lands Of Tartary this organ functions
as a storehouse of fat and sometimes
reaches a weight Of 80 pounds. When
Viewed from behind, the animal seems
all tail, and when this appendage
reaches itS full size Il IL either fasten-
ed between two sticks which drag on
the ground, or 1t Il suspended on two
small wheels.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
People who ralk Down nu,,n...

Some men are pitched to a minor
key. They probably do not realize II !:
but there is a downward tendency In
their thought and conversation. Every.
thing Is down-buslness poor, prospects
dark. They are always seeing snags
ahead. They see tendencies In Ameri-
can life which are sure to undermine
our democracy and end in revolution.
Nothing Is as 1t used to be when they
were young. They cannot get any more
decent help. Everything is in a de
plorable condition.
1t is most unfortunate thing to get
Into such a mental habit.
l know some of these people. Their
letters are always pesslmistic. They
go through life like a tornado cloud.
carrying blackness and threatening
disaster wherever they go.
Everything depends upon the way we
look at things. Near these calamity
howlers we find people living practic-
ally under the same conditions, who
see beauty and increasing goodness,
and an upward trend in civilization
everywhere.
What an untold blessing to form
early In life the optimistic habit of
seeing the best instead Of the worst
Think how much more those get on.
OF life who are always courageous,
hopeful, always grateful for every good
thing that comes to them, and who
have a great faith in the goodness of
human nature and in the honesty of
most people.-Orlson SWEET Marden in
Success Magazine.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
Lampy's Aviary,

Lampy has recently made several ad.
ditions to his collection Of stuffed birds
Among the most valuable are:
l. The Red-Beaked PHI - rare
specimen-the diet of this bird does not
grow in Cambridge.
2. The Recelpted Pade-Bill-ex.
tremely rare.
3. The Heartless Decne-a large and
imposing looking bird of the owl fam.
lily.
4. The Crimson Heelah-thIs bird
will probably be extinct in a few
years, owing to the fact that 1t come,
under the Jurisdiction Of the Public
Nuisance law.
8. The Whlte-Winged Brooks Spar.
row (religlosum sanctum)-a bird OF
pray.
6. The Crafftey Foxblrd manage,
rialum candidatum)-also a bird Of
prey.
7. The Green Frawsh-a small and
harmless bird. the common diet Of the
Foxblrd.-Harvard Lampoon.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
JUST STRETCH,
New Road to JOyIand Mapped Ont
for Women by One of Them,

New Road to JOyIand Mapped ont
for Women by One of Them.
A new method has been proposed
whereby women are to be made hap.
pier. 1t seems to have been launched
in New York City, where woman of
the artist class has proponnded her tho
cries upon The Joy of Daily Living, for
the benefit of her sex.
The secret of 1.-THE joy of daily liv.
Ing" Is daily and hourly stretching.
Just how far the new stretch system
Is to go is not known, but according to
last reports from the front the limit
has not been reached. The stretch is
advocated in all the daily walks, rides
and other occupations of life, and is
guaranteed to cure dyspepsia, discon-
tent, red nose, blues, humpback, bad
temper and running the shoes over at
the heels. 1t is to be practlced at the
dishpan, In the parlor, with broom,
and is particularly recommended for
the bargain counter and the bridge
table.
This conscious stretching and govern
Ing all the muscles of the body with
every movement, says the enthusiastic
advocate of this system, can be done
anywhere and everywhere. 1t will give
women grace, youth, beauty, and, final
ly and most important, it will have an
effect upon their characters and make
them a positive joy to themselves and
to every one about them
We see hundreds of women whose
bodies are little more than moving
masses of contented flesh. If they
would begin a gradual system of
stretching the muscles, so fast asleep
In their cushions of fat, the adipose
tissue would work off. Stretching
good, strong stretching-is the only
way to bring those bodies back to the
human form.
If you are nervous stretch. If you
lack repose of manner, stretch. If you
are giving dinner and your husband
fails to put In an appearance, stretch
as you meet the guests and you can
carry off the situation gracefully. In
fact, at all the crucial moments of life
remember the slogan, "Stretch."'
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15

AN oID-FAsH1OrED EDITOR
$500


A writer In the Atchison Globa tells
Of his experiences as typesetter 70 1
Missourian editor back In the sixtiea
AT frst circuit rider In the back
woods, then preacher who built ana
paid for his own church, this unioue
man finally bought a printing ONCE.
from which he issued a paper called the
Union Of States.
IL was to this establishment that I
ana my brother were taken one day. to
Dc made printers out OF, for at and
idle $3.50
In the course Of time the one compe.
tent printer was discharged, the editor
Deing OF the opinion that be ana we
two boys could manage the establish
ment very well. It was large. eight
column paper, and for months we were
driven to typesetting az slaves were
driven to cotton picking. The Union Of
States was horribly printed, and we
boys blushed for Its appearance.
Our regular task was two columns \
day. II we failed to accomplish fh.s
we finished at night by the light 81 two
candles. During the long summer,
when boys should have been In swim.
ming holes instead of printing ohices,
we frequently toiIed until midnirht
with the weary task.
Jim, being an industrious lad. gener
ally finished by 9, and then helped out
his lazy brother. Sometimes he would
read copy, at others keep away the
nies with a fan, and freQuentlk he
would finish the work himself and 81
low the laggard 10 go 10 bed.
Politics were very warm in tll0ss
days, and the editor often worked the
hand press with pistol strapped to
his person. On several occasions shots
wer6 nred Into the Office by passing
desperadoss and the editor always ap-
pearcd promptly at the front door to
return them.
One day circus came to town, and
the editor refused nfty-dollar cash
advertisement. He vigorously attacked
the show, and advised his readers in
the name Of decency to keep away. But
an immense crowd greeted the circus
and among the most interested specta-
tors were the two young competitors
from the Union OF States ONCE. The
clown made great sport Of the paper
and Its editor, and when the audience
cheered loudly at bis fun. We felt
crushed.
If It 10 credit to man % be
slave to hard work, we cheerfuly bear
testimony to the greatness Of the editor
Of the Union Of States. To our knowl-
edge he never had an amusement ID
his life, nor an Idle hour. In the tall
he went to the timber and cut his own
wood. He always had stable full OF
horses, and more stock than many Of
the farmers. These were fed by the
compositors Of the paper, II a sol
dler'S widow needed help to huslr her
corn, he sent US boys to do It Once or
twice a year he took us to camp meet
Ing to take care Of the preachers
horses and help him sing.
During the busy seasons on his
farms we dropped corn or rode horses
on the threshing floor. During these
times the Union Of States ONCE was
closed, and when the force returned
there was great crowding to get the
paper out on time. 1t was a busy life,
with no leisure and no fun.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15


dts of India, Taranath Tarka Vach-
aspati, the compiler Of Sanskrit
dictionary, not only gave him the
sacred Brahmin thread, but adopted
him into his own gotra--a most
unusual honor. Aside from his work
as scholar In India, Col olcott
nearly thirty years ago started an
educational movement in Ceylon for
the benefit OF the Buddhists, which
caused the establishment OF $50 schools
and three colleges, with 10000 pupils at
the present time. He also founded four
free schools for the pariah outcasts, at
tended last year by nearly 1900 pupils
Col. Olcott was born In Orange, N. j.,
In 1882 and was graduate of the Col
iege of the City of New York. In 1858
he became the agricultural editor OF the
New York Tribune. During the war he
gave up his newspaper work and acted
In special capacities for both the Army
and Navy Departments, rising to the
rank Of Colonel. Just after the close
OF the war he was admitted to the bar
and in 1878 was commissioned by the
President to report on trade conditions
between this country aud India.
In 1875, when the theosophical craze
had obtained good foothold in this
country, Col. Olcott, who had long been
student of Its teachings, was one Of
the most earnest apostles of the move
ment here. With Nine. Blavatsky he
founded in New York the Philosophical
Society, which now has Its headquar.
tiers in India. He was the author Of
several works.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
Unconscious Irony.

A New England man says that one
night last winter when the thermometer
fell below zero his wife expressed her
concern for the new Swedish maid who
had an unheated room.
Eliza" said she to the girl, remem-
bering the good old custom of her
youth, "as it Is bitterly cold tonight,
you'd better take a fiatiron to bed with
you"
Eyes, m'm," said Eliza, in mild and
expressionless assent.
In the morning the girl was asked
how she passed the night. With a sigh,
she replied:
wall, MIN, gat the irron most
warm before morning." Harper's
Weekly.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
Sentiment I'm Business.

know there is not much sentiment
In our present order Of business. Yet
we Will never call out the fine heroisms
OF men until business in some way
has been made the perpetual body OF
the noblest sentiment Of the heart
Business ought to be made into a work.
ing-form for the Golden Rule. Even
as things are, we sometimes hear of a
man who does what he can to order his
business in the light of this lofty ideal
In the depression Of 1898, manufac-
turer In the West determined not to
let the hard times break up his work
ing force, his economic family. He had
scores of men and women working for
him. He could have shut down and
let these workers walk the hopeless
streets-these workers who had built
up fortune for him. He could have
given them over to an enforced idle.
ness, to the fang of want or the worse
fang of public charity.
But this business man, with a light
on him from the Mount of Olives, this
unworldly wise man, went right on
with his factory, losing money with
open eyes for a year. He sacrificed
goods, he mortgaged property, he Dor.
rowed money, that he might see his
men through the perllous crisis. This
Is practical loving; this is religion in
action.-Success Magazine.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15

Phoebe-"You would hardly know
Freddy since he got back from Monte
Carlo. He lost all his money there
and"
Evelyn-"Hardly know hlml Why,
| shan't know him at all."-Illustrated
Bits.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15

$50 you gave your husband a boa
of cigarsT
YES" answered young Mrs Tor
kins.
Did he appreciate themT
Indeed he did He values them %
highly that he is smoking a pipe, 50
as not to use them up too fast"-
Washington Star.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15

THAT quare-lookIng wagon the boss
son wuz drivln'," said Casey, els called
a 'dog-cart.' l wonder wat fur
81 dunno replied Cassidy, "excspt
that mebbe tits bekase they're druv ha
pups mostly."-Phlladelphla Press
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
No Excitemen,.

Here" said the dramatist. eve have
husband who loves his wife and
wife who loves her husband"
~wanr
"How am l to construct a drama
from such lalr'-Loulsyn Cop-
rier-Journal
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
PunctiIIioun Etinu.tts-

Held you have an informal dis
cussion at your club, my dearT
She (grlmly) discussions arr
never informal. We take no subject
which has not been properly introduced
Baltimore American.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15

home in Madras,
India. Col. Olcott
was one Of the few
white IN en- who
ever wore the sa-
cred thread of the
Brah-nin caste. He
won this by his
work for the re-
vival of Hlndoo
philosophy. In rec
ignition Of his ser
vices in this dlrec-
ton one Of the
n,nok laornad MN.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
A Way to Reduce Them.

Church-The Brooklyn subway to
New York will be a boom to theatsr.
goers.
Gotham-Why, are they going to
stand the sidewalk ticket spectators
on the third raIl2-Yonkers Statesman
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15
HI AufuI rhr..,

Mother-Why did you not scream
when Hans kissed your
Daughter-He threatened me.
Mother-Howf
DauGhter-He said II did he'd nev.
er kiss me agaln.-Meggendorfer Blat.
ter.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15

The average yoman's experience
with financial matters has been such
that she b usually more than half In
favor Of hsr, daughter marrying for
monsE
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15

Any man is willing to admit that he
doesn't write a good hand" bad writ
ing is generally regarded as e mark Of
genlua
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15

Brown is no longer swell, although
Tis sensible when muddy
And Is considered still, also,
The proper cloak for study.
kansas City Times.
Camas Prairie chronicle. [volume] (Cottonwood, Idaho) 1901-1917, 1908-05-15

Some women are capable Of belisv.
Ing the things they want to when thay
know they don't believe than.