Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-01-03
WHY IS IT rHus2
The Man with the Interrosative Eve
Wants to Know.


stage all the time that / can't figure our
ut all.
For one thing why is il that the ad-
ventures, whether she's in the houseeor
out OF II. always wears Il black seluin
spangled dress with her milky shoulders
sticking way out OF the top o. liz
And when she scratches the match 10
light her cigarette, why does she always
scratch ii or the high heel Of one of her
shoes We always considered that dan
geroUs, for she's liable to set fire TO The
lacy stuff that shows when she lifts M
the foot 70 get al the heel with the
match. I've been waiting for years for
some stage adventures 10 set fire to her
self while doing this. Wonder how long
lm going to have to wait for that?
And III vaudeville, to skip around
some, where does the fun come in when
ut every pause in the rapid fire talk be-
tween pair of sidewalk comedians the
one of EN- who's dressed up slaps the
other one across the face with all his
might with folded up newspaper? Die
ever notice how the Whole house Just
howls and rocks with laugbt-r every time
that aappensg
Say, / seen ysr lister las night one
of the sidewalk coiledians says to his
compamNn, and thea, biffl he gets him
self swai ted right across the face with
the folded up nesspa. ter, and then for a
couple of miNr. - y,u can't hear yourself
think, the folks 81. around you are sway
ing in such a "ritable gale of laughter.
Yep, | seen her las night the SIDE
walk comedian repeats, and then, zing-ol
he gets another one OF those newspaper
wallops, and again everybody Just ca
reens back and forth a-hollering over it.
Queer, hey? What's funny about
thatI Where does the Shrek come il?
What for? How about it. When?
Hey? Show me.
And, say, what is there in the com
mon, everyday cuss word that tickles all
hands in every kind uf theater audi
ence, high or low, SO Immensely? The
cuss word always gets an immense laugh
out of EN-. So does the word used 20
designate the hot place. Some years ago
| saw a play performed by a well known
almost comedian that was absolutely
carried to success by the frequency with
which this prominent near actor ejacu-
lated that hot place word
You never hear cuss words evoke any
wild laughter in ordinary life. Why
should they be source of such tremen-
dons exclamation when emitted by some
body on the stage?
why again does any allusion to booze
on the stage inevitably get all of them IN
the audience to grinning and looking
one another over craftily and appearing
sort o pleased and gratified? Search
me there. I'm not jerry TO that one.
Some Fellow on the stage says some
thing about how good a highball would
taste and he makes an immense hit.
Now, in the commerce of ordinary life a
hlghbalFs a matter of fact sort of an af-
fair and there's nothing at all funny
about tive seen the time after falling
for too many Of 'em when they seem
burned tragic to Neon the following
morning, | mean.
But any al usion to rum by the stage
person. is just naturally bound to make
all kinds of hit There was a yaude-
vile piano player who did his stunt in
the makeup of a tramp burglar, going
around last season, who said, as he
started off the stage after his final en-
core every night: Now, I'm goin' out
an git one that high" indicating with
his har DIS how high a one he was going
to stick INTO his system. and. my. what
roar that did bring forth every blessed
night What's the answer? Which?
Show me the blue prints. Gimme a peek
at diagram. I'm not there.
In one of those knockabout acts. why
is it that the p table knockabout per-
son who is getting such a horrible lot
the worst of it gains so little sympathy
from the audience?
The knockabout duck gives him a
frightful kick ON both shins. and then
how everybody does chuckle! Wonder
if it can be that everybody in a theater
audience is just naturally cruel.
The other knockabout chap then
sinks Ratchet deep into the skull of the
hard luck one-more mighty laughs.
Then he stiffens two of his fingers and
deliberately pokes them into his unfor-
tunate partners eyes. Then the folks
in the audience fairly bust themselves, it
is SO funny, you see.
I'D like tc have look at Exhibit A
to find cut why they laugh
1.-TWO Dutch comedians, both with
hage balloon size stomachs, are doing
their dialogue in front Of the drop, and
every time one of them works off a wit
ticism on the other he is slapped re-
soundinely across the stomach with the
strong, crook handled cane in the hands
of the other one. And everybody laughs.
I'm frem the Ozarks once more. What
for?
when. in sure enough drammer
the young woman who has been cast out
into the snow with her che-ild, with no
place to go and with no idea as to where
she can hook the $4,000 worth of dia-
monds that she is wearing out in the
snow--why, amid these circumstances,
does the orchestra always play, muted,
the first measure of The Flower SongT
What's The Flower Song got TO do with
Ia diamond burdened poor young critter
chucked out into the snow. with her
che-ild? Pass again. I'm absent.
why do stage folks in drammers al
ways say gair-ll for girl? Nobody in
real life ever says gair-ll. Die ever hear
anybody in real life say gair-ll?
HWhy doesn't the leading man say i
want my hat instead of 1 want meh
hat?'
''Why does the leading woman in the
society dramlner always turn her back
completely upon the young Teller when
she's talking to him in her boudoir?
And. by the way. what's he doing in her
boudoir. anyhow? In the common or
garden variety of life that we lead, do
young ducks call upon their ladifrens in
their boudoirs? Show me some more.
I'm awaiting"
New York is Awake at Last.