davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21
STAGE BARNACLES DECRY ONE-NIGFT STANDS

all I know. The list could be prolonged
indefinitely. ALI Of the greatest actors
and actresses who ever trod the boards
in America or anywhere else have done
their one-night stands without bucking.
They did not look upon stage work as
all cakes and ale. They expected to work
when they donned sock and buskin, and
they did work, and none of them that I
ever met up with was ever much the
worse for it. Fatiguing? Yes. Of course.
But it's fatiguing to keep books. too or to
drive a truck, or to endure the burdens
imposed upon the back Of a bank or rail-
road president. Somewhat fatiguing. too,
should imagine. to be President Of the
United States or the Bhzz-Bhang of
Bllebedad. And there are some actors
that need to be fatigued, if only for the
reason that they relentlessly fatigue
others with means about their fatigues.
I've forgotten just how many actors
and actresses of all sorts-nears. maybes,
would-bes. almosts. and SO on-there are
now in the business. The statistical al
MANAGES contain that information. I be-
lieve. However many of them there
may be, it's just as obvious as that a
four andthree-eighths hat won't fit
seven-and-a-half head that all Of them
can't, by any sort of arithmetical Or &C
tual squeezing. stick around New. York
all the time. That however, is just about
what nine-tenths of them want to do.
Haven't they got flats going in New
York? Certainly. Well then!
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

some plausible reason. But my wife
wouldn't and won't listen to that plan.
either.
Wonder why this scheme that college
boys and girls have wouldn't work all
right? When they want to he let alone
they hang placard outside the door that
says Reading or Studying or Busy or
something of that sort. Now. why
couldn't 1T be fixed up. 10y general con
sent of all hands. so that folks living In
apartments who don't want to be bothered
could hang 'Sleep ping sign on their out
side fiat door?
Anyhow. something's got TO be done.
or. b'gee, I'll move over to Alexandria or
Anacostia. blamed if l won't. I'm not
going to let people talk to me about Bill
Bryan and the trusts and the Fairbanks
cocktail and where they're going this
summer and all that when I'm dead for
sleep after a Sunday dinner gorge. and
the next bunch of visitors that pull that
Sunday afternoon calling wheeze on me
are going to get frozen to death right
where they sit that's what they are.''
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

crafty. designing lobbyist is represented
as betting some such piff1ing little matter
as 100000 or SO on a pair of sixties
against congressional jackpot opener to
whom. as dealer. he has deftly served a
pat straight flush. The lobbyists of old
must really have lost incalculable millions
at this unselfish sort of thing. If one is not
to laugh, long and loudly, at these yarns.
A good many of the lobbyist hasheesh
dreams that bark back to the antique
days are set down as having occurred in
the year 1873, to synchronize with the
financial panic of that year. in which
number of senators and representatives
were really damaged. The yarns picture
these damaged ones as having been finan-
cially saved. or restored. or set up. or
what not, by the lobbyists. who. of course.
traded their salvaging exertions outright
for votes.
An eastern senator. for example. is said
to have owned one Of the Thousand Is
lands. upon which he had erected a beau
tiful summer home. He lost the island
home-saith the narrative-in the panic
of 10. When Congress assembled that
year the senator was visited by certain
land lobbyist who desired a certain lit
tie legislative item to be attended to. The
senator baked at the lobbyists PROPOSE
ton and ordered the cheerful legislative
worker from his presence. The follow
ing morning the senator received by reg
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

for hats when she's sleepy on Sunday
afternoon-and the men telling me what
they think Of the new noiseess Maxim
gun. And hang 'em, they stick around
until it looks as If they're never going.
I've had. I say. seven straight Sun
day afternoons Grabbed this way and it's
beginning to rumple my nerve cells. Time
and again I've suggested to my wife that
the only way out is to refuse to answer
the fiat bell on Sunday afternoons. But
she won't have this She's always got
some relative or other out west that's
sick, and she's always expecting a tele-
gram that this sick relative has got we'll
or something-and so she won't hear of
our not answering the rings on Sunday
afternoons.
''Then 1 suggested to her that / have
circular printed. to ne sent out to every
blamed person we know, telling them that.
while we love them all dearly. they've
simply got to stay away from our place
on Sunday afternoons, because owing to
circumstances over which We have no con-
troll we-and SO on; 1 could frame up
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

gress committees. They come 10 Wash
same time diffusing captivating aroma
Of violets and things.
ington to see about matters affecting
their interests or the interests of their
principals. In almost all cases they are
experts upon matters appertaining to the
projected legislation Everybody knows
what they come to Washington for Their
comngs and goings are printed in the
newspapers. They tell senators and rep
resentatives what they think of certain
affairs when their opinion is solicited
They always know just what they or
their principals want. IL they get II. well
and good. In that case they pack UP
their bags and go away we'll pleased II
they don't get it they pack up their grips
and go away not pleased at all But they
don't stink. They don't keep under cover.
They don't lurk in Capitol corridors.
They don't buttonhole and buzz. They
don't frame up Babylonian feaSts and
Saturnalian revels for wicked old legis-
lators. They don't slide $4,000 yellow
backs into overcoat pockets They don't
pay off the mortgage on the old farm.
They don't bet a Johngates-a million
dollars-on an eight-high poker hand a
purpose to lose. But a lot OF folks in
this country, including some of the Cos
ling correspondents. think that they do
all Of these things. and so-what's the
use?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

used to look forward to Sunday like a
boy looking forward to his first pair of
suspenders. But now-shucks!
Sunday, take 1t. is the big loll-around
day. Now. / never in my grown-up life
experienced the least desire to go any
where on Sunday. All I ever wanted on
Sunday was to mooch around and be let
alone.
Our Sundays used to be like this:
Got up about 10 in the morning-I' m
telling about my own end of it now-and
the cold swim, and then into the orneryest
old set of buds I've got-old. baggy trous-
ers and a negligee shirt, and coat that's
a disgrace-my wife says so, and she
ought to know-and slippers: just lolly
raiment. While / was getting into this
rig 1 could hear the breakfast stuff siz-
zling out on the range, and then I'd sit
down to a breakfast that would stump a
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21
IN - URDER, sure" whispered a
NH first precinct patrOlman a few

NH first precinct patrolman a few
Iva nights ago. His nose was fiat
against the window Of a photographer S
shop up on F street. Dimly visible within
the shop were evidences of what appeared
to be a grim midnight tragedy. But now
the drinks are on the patrolman.
The Sherlock of the first precinct
. straightway "gum-shoed" it for the
most contiguous patrol box, and no large
amount of spring timothy found time to
gotten a reserve squad under the COM
mand of the sergeant to the scene. Then,
in the departments best style. they adj
vanced upon the place of horror.
To the nude optic it surely looked as
though their actions were about to be JUS
titled. for within the back room Of the
tintype emporium. dimly lighted by Il
night lamp and lying surrounded by a
riot of overturned pictures and frames
and paraphernalia, appeared a huddied
heap of black.
It's a woman-and she's dead-' the
sergeant whispered. Surround the place
before / rouse the purliens.
When the squad had deployed the ser
Eeant began tattoo on the door which
sounded like Salvation Army night in
Market Space. Five minutes later
bleary-eyed photographer person was
aroused from his sleep. and. turtle-like,
stuck his head from one of the upper
windows.
''Whatsh matter?' he demanded. House
pinched?'
Come down here and open up" the
policeman shouted. There's been murder
done
Wow the owner of the head vouch-
safed- The head disappeared. and soon
the street door was opened to the waiting
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

which brought his chronometer around to
noon time. he sauntered home, to be met
by his wife. who. to say the least, was
some peevish.
But the merchant beat her to it. "Wait!''
he commanded before you say anything.
afternoon. Man who bought a 1880 bill
Of goods paid for 1t with check which
was returned marked no good couldn't
stand to lose it. and so hoped the first
train to Baltimore. got lawyer, and this
morning the man settled up, all right.
Now before I rest any I'll take you
downtown and buy you something with
the gain on that BILL
Now the merchants wife was a Balti-
more girl before her marriage. and natu-
rally inquired what lawyer her husband
retained.
"Why. I employed old Judge Emory"
the merchant replied. nothing daunted.
and he heard his wife call after him as he
went upstairs: I'm glad you did. He's
an old friend Of the family"
Ten minutes later the merchants self
satisfaction at having gotten by so well
received a jolt when his wife rushed into
his room fiourishing a Baltimore paper.
Whom did you say you employed?" she
cried.
II told you plainly Judge Emory" the
man answered.
Liar" the wife stormed. Here's his
funeral notice."
Think of it, boys the merchant said
in recounting his troubles that night at
the club. Thousands of lawyers in Bal
had to pick a dead one!'
X * X *
Economy In the running of the legis-
Iative branch Of the government is all
right and highly commendable," remark
ed a clerk in the House post office yes
terday, but when 1t comes to question
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

~ HE Lilley investigation, as might
have been expected, started a
4 flock of the very new, gosling-like
Washington correspondents, eager to
make hits with timely specials" to re-
viving revamping and refurbishing those
old, old yarns about the lobbyists of the
National capital.
The belief firmly fixed and widespread
among a certain class of people through
out the United States, that Washington,
during the congressional sessions. is lit
tered and cluttered with lobbyists for
big interests is a curious example of
how tenacious of ancient. outworn stories
a large element of the American popuia-
ton is. Belief in the perennial existence
of a big Washington lobby is a sort of
tradition. A great many years ago. and
especially during the period Immediately
following the civil war, there were a
few well-known high livers and high
flyers in Washington who had the name,
whether rightly or not, of Nbeing pretty
strong at the Capitol. These men We're
all in their graves long before the be-
ginning of the ninth decade of the nine
teenth century. Most of them died in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

topple onto the couch in our sleeping
room. and whee! what fun that sleeping
was! I'd feel just like somebody with
about nine ounces of hasheesh under his
surcingle, and I'd just sleep and sleep and
sleep for two or three hours and have the
time of my life. and my wife would sleep
the same length Of time Then, coming
to. we'd fix up and get into decent clothes
and be ready for a little venture out to a
Sunday night concert, or walk or some
thing of that sort.
But now! For the past seven Sundays
the Sunday afternoon part OF this pro-
gram has been busted higher than Gill
deroy's kite. We'd just about be ready to
topple to our respective couches for the
slumber end of it when there'd be ring
at the bell. and then I'd have to lope out
to the hall to press the button, and pres
emily raft of people would gallop in. all
wide-awake and enthusiastic and chinny
from the effect of the walks they'd been
taking. and there we'd be, dished!
''Of course. we'd have to sit 'em down
and talk to 'em and entertain 'em. as
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

to see me. He told me about it. I
got the girl the next night. and she's in
the House of Refuge now. | say that
my friend did the best possible thing in
giving that child the money she demanded
with her gang of rouShs around her. II
she had set up screaming. this man,
after his life of honor, might have had
no chance in the world Against the false
testimony of the roughs. he would have
been absolutely and hopelessly ruined.
She Got the Money.
There's another CIR. put away now
she's in the Bedford Housewife worked
adroit scheme for quite spell before
any of her victims got UP the nerve to
come and tell the police about it. This
one is only a little girl, tool think she's
less than fifteen. Her scheme was to
work the financial district. Shed stroll
into the private Office of broker, say,
who had no office boy or other guard out
side his door. and she'd always have a
bundle of newspapers under her arm.
Once in the office. she'd demand. in the
coolest way imaginable. that the man at
the desk give her "a few dollars
"If you don't she would add. calmly,
shall scream.
"She got the money every time. and it
was fine graft for her for months. Then
Wall street man of my acquaintance
who had the dodge worked on him looked
me up and told me about it. l caught the
childr in the very act of sticking a man up
in his office on the following day, and
I'm wearing some of her teethmarks yet.
There's only one way for the best man
in New York to behave. in these circum-
stances, with such things going on, and
that is to walk literally in the middle Of
the road when traversing the dark spaces
If he doesn't do this. he's liable to get
himself held up. not by gumshoe people,
but by little girls who. by some inexplica-
BILE means. have found out these unfailing
possibilities of graft.
Last fall, you recall. we were said
to have had in New York wave OF
crime. in which girls in short dresses
were alleged to have been the victims
right along. There was never any wave
of crime of that sort. I found, upon
careful investigation. that the vast ma
jority of these cases were those Of cor
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

derous outfit except the heavy hand of
the general government, and the place
for that heavy hand to do the business.
according to the view of thinking men
over here dncluding many distinguished
Italians). is Ellis Island. Either the hand
or the general government is necessary
or-what some of the foreseeing ones pre-
dict-one of those anti-Mafia affairs such
as SO effectually cleaned the numbering
Italians out of New Orleans back yonder
in the latter eighties.
Moving-Picture Craze.
The ''vodeveel' managers are disturbed.
The moving picture houses are disturbing
them. Half a dozen of the best-located
former vaudeville houses and variety the
aters in New York have quit "vaudevill-
Ing and "varietying'' and gone into the
moving picture thing. They are getting
the money in bales. too. despite the
fact that they only charge : and 10 cents
for admission and the best seats in the
house You see their expenses are vir-
tually nothing, compared with what they
had to pay for well-balanced vaudeville
or variety bills, and nearly all the gate
money is pure velvet. Moreover. the town
Is crazy over the moving pictures. All
told there are 400 of these moving-picture
establishments in Greater New York. and
the number is increasing every day. They
give right interesting shows. too. Folks
Of moderate means get what amusement
their blood calls for at the moving picture
shows and forget all about the vaudeville
houses Anyhow, they can't see the sense
any more. it would seem, of getting stuck
up for couple of dollars for seats by the
spectators who hang around the best
vaudeville houses. The motion pictures
are getting better all the time and now
some of the leading actors and actresses
Of New York, we hear, have been engaged
at large money to go through the moving
picture pantomimes-Coqueli and Bern
hardt and lie Bargy, and others like that,
1t Is said, have been hired to do the NOV
ing-pcture acting in France. Moreover.
successful experiments have been made
in the, matter OF fitting phonogra phic
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

Clark. who used to be the best gentleman
jockey in the country. and has always
owned running thoroughbreds. However,
the case may stand. Bishop Potter hasn't
had an agreeable time of it lately: and
he couldn't have been very highly pleased
either, when the coadjutor bishop of New
York came out the other day with the
bitterest antt-racfng letter that has been
yet written by a man of prominence.
Some folks protested to regard that letter
as straight-out challenge to Bishop
Potter-and maybe twas, maybe it twas.
Tammany Tiger Has Indigestion.
Stick pin in this-There'll be a revolt
in Tammany against the continued leader
ship of Murphy within the next two years.
Whether the revolt will develop sufficient
strength to GUST Murphy from the boss
ship cannot, as matter of course, be
foretold with anything even approaching
accuracy But the kick is brewing, and
it will break out inside of two years.
Some Of the strongest men in the Tam
many outfit will range themselves with
the Fuckers. The little temporary patch
up between Murphy and Mcclellan awhile
ago had no particular significance. Their
meeting contrary to the general idea,
was really accidental, and their makeup
was perfunctory and for a purpose GER
tainly not disassociated from the impend-
ing national campaign.
Many of the big Tammany leaders are
growing that Murphy for some years
past has been '.hogging it ALL The
boss they say. doesn't parcel out the
good things, but keeps the cream of them
for himself. He grabs all of the good
things. leaving the measliest sort OF
crumps for men who used to be let in
for their share Of the goodies. Murphy,
they say. has become tremendously. enor-
mously rich-three pr four times as rich
as Croker ever was and richer than any
Tammany boss ever dreamed of ing be-
fore. Murphy. too, they contend is,
too raw in his dealings with the big
financial crowd who have to do with
traction franchises and such. And so ON
and so on. So the scrap brews. 1t isn't
impossible that Murphy win have the
time of his life answering questions pro-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

nered men who refused to be held up in
the way ! have described by these mere
children. Some of them were beaten al
most to death by mobs because they re-
fused to be held up in this manner Their
victims shrieked, as they had threatened,
ana then the men were in trouble that
nothlng on earth but police Intervention
could heal"
Black Handlers Non-Plussed.
For little while. now. maybe the
Black Hand cut-throats will behave. Two
Of them have been killed in New York
within the week. One OF the Bla 81,
Handlers strolled in upon an Italian bank
er In the Scilian section not long ago
and said he guessed he'd take that $1,000
that he'd written for a couple of DAVIS
before. But he didn't take" anv of
the government-stamped metal The kind
of metal he got consisted of a couple of
ounces of lead in his>groin. neatly de-
posted there by the banker. who thought
he could use the 5000 himself to ad
vantage
Another of the Black Handlers, a mani
cured. groomed, tall dago, quite like
d Annunzio hero, minced up to the pro-
prietor Of a push-cart and stated briefly
that he was there for the money. with
written to the push-cart man a few days
before. The push-cart man had the bad
manners to tell the Black Handler, In
his crude Palermo patois to be on his
way II he didn't want to weigh more
directly. Then the insouciant Black
Handler pulled a gun. The humble push
cart Giuseppe wrenched the gun out Of
the manicured hand Of the ''sticker-up"
S~>I
lets therefrom into the Black Handlers
skull-whereatt the latter died suddenly and
positively. The push-cart man proceeded TO
go away from there. nor have they got
him yet.
These incidents, one may venture to
prophesy, will put quietus upon the
Black Hand outfit for little while But
they'll begin again after time. Moth
ing will ever break up that MUIR
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

a street lamp to have a look at them.
The cracking things were five $4,000
bills. The poor but stubborn representa-
tive was not, of course, required to en-
terrain any idea as to how those five
$4,000 bills got into his right-hand over
coat pocket. He voted for the measure
in which the lobbyist was interested-oh,
of course, of course, Just so.
Now, this yarn has been resurrected and
reupholstered year in and year out ever
since the reconstruction period. The rea-
sonableness q Of the story Is indicated
by the kind of currency the lobbyist Is
said to have employed in his business
viz. $4,000 bills.
But, for that matter. almost all Of the
money in the overcoat-pocket yarns is
made up Of bills of the $1,000 variety. A
poot representative in Congress. strug-
Cling along on his salary in SO expensive
a city as Washington, would, Of course,
be fixed out by smart lobbyish with
$4,000 bills as being the kind of money
that would attract the least attention
when he began to spend it.
Fantasies in which the lobbyists are
pictured as purposely losing vast sums of
money at poker to senators and repre-
sentatives whose votes they wanted all
date back to ante-bellum antiquity, but
once in while this old legend or saga is
rehashed even in these modern times The
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-03-21

pounded by his own people during tho
next couple of twelvemonrhs A good
many outside critics of political cond
tions in New York wonder necessarily
how Murphy got where he is anyhow.
He is a man utterly devoid of magnet
ISM OF any appealing quality of per
sonality whatever, stolid. almost obtuse.
not a mixer. not even IA good political
diplomat. Croker, as boss, had many
supporters who loved him. as had John
Kelly before him. Some fine foot h-comb
raking would probably have to be done
to spring any high-up Tammany man
who loves c. Murphy.
A great many of the influential Tam
many folks don't like the way Bourke
Cochran has been handled by Murphy. in
being grabbed from all of the Tammany
committees and virtually committed to
the outer darkness They point out that
1t isn't the thing in Tammany to use a
man as long as he is uSeabe, and then
throw him into the street. Cochran.
they declare, has been called upon by
Murphy to do lot of helpful things for
him. and now be cause Cochran beat Muir
ply to il in getting his own man-who
happened to be Cockran's father-in-law-
appointed to knlckerbocker receiver
ship Murphy losses the eloquent Bourke
into disgrace and humiliation.
II would be strange. however. if Bourke
Cochran really cared finger snap about
the whole business. He is lin pretty
good" in New York. having become a
millionaire several times over through his
legal practice. He is absolutely one of
the highly regarded tigures-for his wit.
to large extent, presumably-in the
mos: exclusive New York social set. He
has for his wife one of the cleverest
women in North America. Hence. what
further need has he of Tammany? He
was out of Tammany once before. when
Richard Croker grew paevish with him.
and the greatest period of prosperity he
ever experienced came his way while he
was de tached from the organization And
when he returned to the fold Tammanv
sought him, not he TamInany. When tie
internecine fight does break upon Murphy.
as some OF the shrewdest men in the or
ganization prophesy it will, it is not un-
likely that Cochran. whose star never was
very unlucky. will have something to
say-and a good deal to say, too about
any possible reorganization.
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.