The Columbus weekly dispatch., 1908-05-21
ARTESIA.

Why, she has the hoI1owhorn"
Yes, but the veterinarians tell US
that there is no such thing as hollow
horn or hollow tall
Yes, and when you hear a veteri-
marian say that, he has serious case
Of hollow head and he needs the
same treatment we give COW with
hollowhorn; that is, put a gimIet hole
right through his head. Every farm
er who has had any experience with
cows knows that cows do have hol-
lowhorn, and that when they are
bored and other remedies applied
the animal is relieved"
Look here, major. What about
muly cow?''
That's her business. I am talk
ing about COWS with horns and vets.
with heads. You viii find galoots
plentiful who do not believe the
moon has anything 10 do with the
weather or has any effect on vegeta-
tion. notice one thing: The weather
forecasts in the Ladies' Birth
day Almanac that the astronomer
based on the movement of the moon
and stars are ten times more accu-
rate than the forecasts of the govern
ment weather bureau, which IS based
on telegraphic reports Of weather
conditions from the four corners of
the earth. The aforesaid almanac
says that this month viii be noted
for its big rains and terrific thunder
storms and if any man doubts this let
him sit down and take observations.
On the head waters of the Gilmer
slough last Friday evening the high
water from one of these big rains
thar was predicted by the almanac
and came on a day that the weather
bureau said would be fair took q big
bridge from its foundation and car
ried it up stream over one hundred
yards Now there are some fellows
that were raised on Wild onions and
parsley ready to say that's a lie.
If it had happened about Chistmas
] would have suspected it to have
been the work Of a practical joker,
but it happened this way: There was
a tributary to the slough just below
the bridge and the water came down
this pronity with such a rush and sud
denness that it turned up the main
slough, carrying the bridge up stream
as I have said"
When a man who sets himself up
to rs as a moulder of public opinion
and makes such breaks as the editor
of the Memphis Commercial-Appeal,
be makes the common reader lone
some This distinguished gentleman
says he is opposed to prohibition be
cause it does not prohibit. Suppose
Judge Cochran would say to the
grand jury: 4 am opposed to the
law against murder because it does
not prohibit murder. l am not in
favor of the Sunday law because it
does not stop the people from fish
ing, hunting, playing baseball and
having picnic-singings on Sundays. /
am opposed to the gaming law be-
cause the negroes and poor white
folks continue TO shoot craps
and the better and more cultured and
refined people play euchre, cinch and
the devil generally for high stakes.
J. am opposed to the law prohibiting
lynching because the people continue
to lynch" He would be lynched in
the presence of the court.
There is as much sense in the rea-
son given by the editor for not IA
voring prohibition as that given by
some of our correspondents for be-
ing opposed to the sEaIl-day singings.''
Might as we'll say you are opposed to
preaching because whisky is carried
on the church yard and guns are seen
in the pockets of the boys and occa-
sionally two or three of our old men
shoot each other up at the church
service If the officers perform their
duty there will be little fault to find
with the law.
Look out, you Hill Billies, over the
river Get your crops in good shape,
for it will soon be time for the pro-
fessors of the A P. NJ. to start on
their rounds of Farmers Institute"
ostensibly, but rather to gain a
knowledge of farming that may be
put into practice at the A & M. L
have patronized the A & NJ, the I. I.
&c c., the Columbus Business College
and The Dispatch printing office as
institutions of education, and l re-
ceived the best results in the shortest
time and at less expense at the Co
lumbus Business College than at
either Of the colleges. If boy
wishes to educate himself and make
living at the same time there is no
better school than a first class news
paper Office. The best educated man
/ ever met got his learning in a print