The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-24
THE STORK BRINGS NEWS OF PROMISE Witty Special At Press ASsocia- 
 ton Banquet
TELLS OF NEW COUNTY
6essemer People and Visiting Newspa- per Men Are Entertained With Breezy Paper With Advance
 intelligence of Events.

Bessemer, July 2S-(Special 1.-The stork," crisp, breezy, sparkling and bristling with its burden of advance news l and cracking editorials, made its ap- pearanee at the banquet of the state edi- tors at the Grand hotel tonight. It is built on the thumbnail idea, but every one of the Is folio columns teem with wit wisdom and wealth of promise. The Stork is supposed to be the bearer of good news, the birth of the county of Bessemer, and the enthusiasm with which 1t was received indicates the favor the proposition receives from the members of the state press.
 The paper is dated Bessemer, U. s. A, November 1. 19OS and besides the current news of the day, contains alleged pho- tographs of prominent newspaper men done up in the most ambitious facetious- ness of Alabama's meanest caricaturists.
 The Editors Apology.
 The following apology is made for the publication of The Stork:
 The Stork may be a little premature in this case. but it is prophetic. Coming events cast their shadows before and surely the shadow which looms on the political horizon in this vicinity is deep enough for almost the blind to see.
 Bessemer needs that new county bad. The Amalgamated Society of Hungry Ot- fee Seekers have already met and passed resolutions indorsing the movement, and it is a sure shot. The only opposition to this movement which means susten- ance to the starved seekers of office is the counter organization, the Band of Drain CTS of the Public Fund, who will fight till the last for the preservation of their rights. However, with the Alabama Press association at work for Bessemer in her fight for home rule, what can prevail?
 The stork thanks that splendid body for services rendered. Some day we will visit you and amply repay you for your be- neficence.
 The Heavy Editorial.
 Following is the heavy editorial:
 This town is IA miles south of the cen- ter of Alabama, but with no skyscrapers, but plenty of scrappers for what she wants delightful climate, a beautiful city, filled with brave men and charm ing women (with never a hanging or divorce easel. The chief products are iron and steel, pipe and water (now). One of the best places in Alabama for home (but the worst place in the world for millionaires); wide streets, and Carnegie library. A city park, miles of sewers and sidewalks, riches untold and undeveloped (but will be when the Stork gets away with the prize).
 More politicians and fewer state office holders than any place in the south lprin- cipally because there is not enough to go around in Birmingham, Montgomery, Tuscaloosa and elsewhere), but we will come in time.
 Bessemer is in every way an ideal place to live. of you don't believe it ask Jim Wing he stays here occasionally Any one seeking information as to mail go to the postoffice. Eight railroad lines,, but no union depot Preferred to the rail- road commission) Twenty-one years old and wants a chance to vote with the other 67 (after November 4.
 The Stork is the leading paper, al- though some others think they can beat it. The only city in the United States that has no baseball team and other amusements, but we are no worse off.
 Come often and you will be like the rest of us. (''There's No Place Like Bes- semer.")
 Pert Paragraphs.
 Following are some of the pert para graphs:
 The girls say Brother Yerby played an awful mean trick on them last year when he brought both of his little girls along as a body guard.
 Somebody hold Brother Judson, quick. . Who mentioned unions?
 A prize will be given to the first person guessing correctly whom Brother Sowell is engaged to this year.
 The association is getting tired of seeing year after year certain unattached eligible members first with the girls and nothing come of 1t. There's Tom Garner, regu- ar fascinator, who was old enough to marry years ago, and President Doster, p'ho owns a farm, so there is no excuse for him, and ex-President Yerby, who can talk to beat the band, especially In quiet corner on moonlight nights; and Brother Crichton, whom all the girls are after since they saw him in his bathing suir. | his bunch have met their Waterloo, fo, there are a lot of old maids in Bessemer and this is leap year.
 Special to Stork.-President Roosevelt announces that hereafter Alabama shall 1 be pronounced Al-a-baw- ma, or Al-a-ban.- l mic. Alabama is not Dee lighted. ] It Is currently reported that there is a strike on in this district. Moral, go to | the country and enjoy life | A number of the editors arranged fo. | wireless communication for their papers after they reach Cumberland Island. | There are some things that are slow