The Washington herald., 1908-03-08
MEN AND THINGS

Col Pete" Hepburn. OF Iowa. is
recognized as one OF the keenest satirists
on the floor Of the House of Representa-
tives. He is a vigorous Republican. but
his shafts OF irony and reparte apparent
IL krow no party, they are. in debate
hurled indiscrlminately at friend and foe
alike AS result. heSis not very popular
among his Congressional associates. Most
OF them fear him in debate. but very few
love him.
To friend recently the doughty Iowa
colonel admitted that perhaps he had
made a mistake; that II he had pursued
a less aggressive course he might have
reached the Speakers chair.
But" he added. with twinkle in his
eye. thing OF the fun I would have
missed
Human nature is the same in Congress
as elsewhere" Col Hepburn continued
In a reminiscent tone. Now, there was
John D. Long. Of Massachusetts,, a very
able man 1 remember him we'll when
he first came 20 Congress. He was the
most attentive listener 10 debates that
ever saw. After Longs advent no men,
Der, no matter how obscure, could address
the House without being sure Of an audi
ence. Whenever one arose 10 speak. Mr..
Long took seat Immediately in front
and listened with Tapt attention. The
speech concluded. Mr.. Long would rush
forward. cordially clasp the member
frantically by the hand. and extend his
cOngratulation-
I thank you ever so much for that
speech. he would say. I had serious
doubts on several points Of the subject
ed them away. for me-. and 1 am very
'Taffy.' but the fact IL he made a friend
for life of every member to whom he
listened so attentiveIy'
"Still. he never achieved the Speaker
ship of the House" It was suggested
mo, bet Long was a Republican. Dur
ing most Of his service in Congress, the
Democrats had an unfortunate habit
(Which I am glad 20 say they have over
come since) Of electing a majority Of the
members"
Some time ago Speaker Cannon purchased
a history of the world from a smooth and
enterprising book agent. Wher the books
were delivered they were disappoint-
ment. but the contract the Speaker had
signed and given to the agent vas iron
clad. and he accordingly sent check for
the amount Of the Indebtedness. Across
the check however. he wrote the follow
ing Endorsement:
This check is in full settlement. both
legal and moral for sixty volumes OF
books called for in the contract with the
payee, -. The books are not worth a
d-n. and high at that We are never too
old 10 learn. and the way the gentleman
ly book agent came il over your Uncle
Joseph is worth the check"
Senator William Alden Smith, of Mich
igan, was once defending a man on q
criminal charge in a grand Rapids court
room. The principal complaining witness
had a bad reputation end Mr. Smith was
anxious to bring out that fact in the in
terest OF his client.
One Of the witnesses was a stalwart
blacksmith. of venerable appearance.
To you know the complaining witness
in this trial?'' said Attorney Smith.
II do" said the witness, stolidly.
What is his reputation. Good or bad?"
Bad
Then the prosecuting attorney took the
witness in charge.
Haven't you had trouble with this
man?' Naming the complaining witness)
he thundered
Nope" said the blacksmith, aeliber-
ately.
Nothing at all7"
"Oh. muffin TO speak Of
''Ahi" exclaimed the prosecuting attor-