Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-08-23
SQUIRREL STATUTES.
In Other Words, Some Nutty
Laws for Nutty Folk.
OKLAHOMA FULL OF THEM
Everything Regulated From Red
skins to Roller Towels.
HAMPY M00RE'S LAUNDRY LIST
Most scandalous Effort in Virginia,
Where Busy Bug Tried to
Outlaw Kissing.

The would-be lawmaker who goes to a
legislative chamber with the idea of con-
verting his native state into Utopia does
not get much of show in these degener-
ate days. His efforts receive little more
announcement than those Of the feline
vocalists who assemble on the backyard
fence at the midnight hour to produce
what they deem to be musical concert.
His idea of making life ''one grand, sweet
song is very apt to draw forth the en-
phatic ejaculation, Scat But he Is not
to be discouraged and he has labored as
increasingly the present year as in any
other, says the Baltimore Sun.
There were more of him, perhaps, in
Oklahoma than in any other state, for
Oklahoma gave promise of extending to
him the glad hand patting him on the
back and telling him to go as far as he
liked. But even the baby state. which
started out with a constitution that pro-
vided for regulating nearly everything
except the planets and the weather. and
seemed eager to complete the job, has not
produced the bumper crop of freak legis-
lation so fondly expected.
Nine-Foot Bed Sheets.
The new state has enacted that hotels
must supply their guests with bed sheets
not less than nine feet in length. but the
idea did not originate in Oklahoma, for
Texas blazed the way i'm this far-reaching
reform.
Oklahoma legislators descended upon
their capital with large assortment of
ideas for the betterment of the human
race equally as unique. but they took
most of them back home again. 1t was
an Oklahoma man who regarded the cigar
,.- T.-lt
redskin among his constituents. and who
wished to Danish it from its TRADITIONAL
post of honor at tobacco shops. but the
cigar store Indian still holds the fort In
Oklahoma as well as elsewhere, and II
the tribe is diminishing it is for far diff
ferent reason than that he has enemies
in the camp of the lawmakers.
Another Oklahoma solon wished to pro-
hibit the use of cracked crockery on the
table, another to make it an offense to use
other to compel railroads to disinfect
their railroad tickets, another to prohibit
passengers on street cars from crossing
legs when they have mud on their feet,
and another to compel householders to
beat rugs and carpets outside of the cor
porate limits of any town.
Ouch! Such Foolishness.
There was even one lawmaker VINO
sought to compel husbands to cook break
fast on Sunday mornings in order that
their wives might go to church, and one
who desired that six successive visits by
a young man to the home of young lady
should be regarded as evidence of an en-
gagement to marry. But, alas, Oklahoma
rejected this Utopian program and snugly.
snoozng under its nine-foot bed sheets ii
sleeps on while there are many sores on
the body polite to be healed.
II woke I'D for few minutes pass a
law that required every complimentary
notice concerning a candidate that is
printed in a newspaper to be labeled Ad-
Vertising' in ten-pOint type, but the OKLA
homa editor still has a legal. If not
moral. right, as he sees fit, provided that
the citizen does not commit the indfs-
cretion of running for office.
Those who rejected the plan of decreas-
ing inebriety probably went upon the
theory that il was unwise to acquire
reputation for bravery. Maryland did.
however, make it unlawful to serve free
lunches in beverage emDoriums.
The Virginia legislator who tried to out
law kissing several years ago has had no
imitators recently, but in Louisiana the
man who comes late to the theater has
been regarded as a proper subject for leg
islative consideration and possible CLASH
fication among the malefactors.
Merry Widow Legislation.
Many states have been supplied with
laws that mitigate the terrors of the
Merry Widow hat, but these laws are not
of this years vintage. and that ubiqui-
tous vexaation probably arrived too late ,
TO cause any increased activity on the part
Of the legislative grist mill Since women
have ceased to sweep the streets with
long skirts sartorial eccentricities have