Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-05-07
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Ana now our army is beginning to
learn Japanese, Why not English
Philadelphia Inquirer.
The man who fails seldom gets any
sympathy from the man who never
tried.-Washingto Post.
Anna Gould is evidently willing to
give the whole blame family a chance
at her fortune.-Detroit News.
1t isn't always that the hat itself is
so big, but that the woman under it is
so small. Indianapolis News
The big spring hat threatens to cut
off the view of the peekaboo shirt waist
this season.-P Press.
Miss Florence Nightingale has dem
Onstrated that if is possible to be IL
grand old maid.-Chicago Record Her.
aid.
The fire insurance companies doing
business in kentucky must be losing
some sleep these nights Washington
Post
In spite of the increased cost of liv
ing, it costs no more this year TO dream
about summer vacations than it ever
did.-New York Mail
Governor Hughes says that men are
nine-tenths good. But what a lot of
Trouble and expense the other tenth
makes New York Tribune.
Boni has cost the Gouds S3.OOO,OCO
up TO date, and installments are still
due. Talk about paying for a dead
horse philadelphia Ledger.
When man says TO you, Here's the
political situation in nutshell" You
are pretty safe, in settling back for an
hours nap.-New York Mail.
A new order forbids girls from call
ing up midshipmen at the Naval Acade-
my. What's the use of being a cadet,
an, way?-Philadelp Inquirer
Once more taxes are to be raised in
Japan. Those little brown chaps are
finding out that civilization and glory
are eXpensive.-Philadelph Inquirer
A mercenary, money grabbing land
lord of our acquaintance says he will
not be happy until somebody invents
pay-as-youenter fats.-New York Mail.
In the philosophy of some men
heaven is nothing but a place where
everybody will be able to buy cheap
and sell high.-Chicago Record Herald.
If the prohibition movement keeps up
its present rate of progress the bureau
for the reclamation of arid lands will
have to be enlarged.-Chicago Tribune
In Chicago they fine parents of chill
dren who play hockey" So and costs
A good licking is much cheaper and
much more effective.-Philadelph In
quirer.
The Gar must be Drawer than he is
generally credited with being. Lots of
us in his position would have been
scared to death long ago.-Kansas City
Times.
The Oklahoma man who claims to
have found a snake in can of mo-
lasses should have the fluid Analysed
Chances are it wasn't molasses.
delphia Ledger.
Shanghai opened its first electric
street railway the other day, and the
Cinnamon are said to be falling into
the strap-hanging habit all right-Phil-
adelphia Press.
China is going to establish a modern
university, and anybody can guess
there will be something doing when the
| college yell in Chinese breaks out
Philadelphia Press.
The course of true love never did run
smooth, but in some countries it is per-
haps rougher than III others "They
manage those things better in France"
New York Mail
Peace has its defeats no less than
war. The Russian debt exceeds four
billions of dollars, and five hundred
millions more are needed at once
Philadelphia Inquirer
Owing to improved mining machinery
the cost of producing gold has been re-
duced to SG66,666 per ton. That price,
of course, goes to only those who buy
in ton lOts.-Omahd Bee