The sun., 1908-04-26

Mr. Martins answer was Characters
ticaly diplomatic He Informed her in
courteous phrases that the mere fact that
she thought she could get into society by
any such means proved that she was tenn
peramentaly unsuitable and that he was
afraid she would never succeed. The
woman who wins Is the woman who has an
extraordinary intuition Of the right thing to
do and the right people to know. and does
not ask advice Of first one and then the
other. She ia a woman who goes right
ahead socially because there is something
in her that wins, and with a hundredth part
Of the energy expended by others she makes
a social success in spite Of envy, hatred.
malice and all uncharitabeness.
Personality as applied socially, is quality,
1t seems that embraces all the lesser quail
ties, especially tact.
'Tact,' says Mr.. Martin, you must have
10 make any kind Of a social success, and
without IL you certainly cannot be a social
leader. You must have yourself perfectly
we'll in hand, not occasionally, but all the
time.
If you feel seedy you must not act seedy.
You must never lose your self-control
You must forget and forgive. You must
not show indifference. resentment or for
getfulness.
you must not take your troubles either
in your face or manner, and above all you
! must feel kindly toward others, else the
artificial manner, no matter how we'll as
sumed, will soon be recognized and your
labor will be lost. People are too acutely
conscious Of each others atmosphere 10 be
deceived in the nervous strain Of the life
we lead, and 80 your tact must be built up
from within, not from without. -
THE tactful host is one that not only
makes the most humble guest feel that he
is Of as great importance as the mbst oele-
brated but he is the host that really loses
sight Of classes and distinctions and grades
OF success and for the time being only real
izes that he Is extending hospitality to
his friends.
THE guest who is tactful not only ap-
pears to enjoy himself and add his portion
Of wit and grace to the function but really
is enjoying himself, having come there
with that determination, throwing aside
his worries and anxieties animosities, and
the carping, critical spirit feeling only
the compliment implied in his invitation
and conscious that on every guest devolves
a certain responsibility to make things 60
with spirit
There is an old saying that Mr.. Martin
quotes in this respect 1t is that interest
begets interest. You can't expect people
to be interested in you, he continues, unless
you are interested in them. Occasionally |
a man believes himself superior TO this
law, but soon finds his mistake and that
the only way TO keep a position once Sc
cured is by eternal vigilance.
Some OF the English women who visited |
here this winter commented on the lack |
Of men at the various functions and called |
attention to the fact that English women
were never confronted by such a situation
According to Mr.. Martin these guests
have not described the London society
that he knows. There the English man is
even more Of a rara avis than the Ameri-
can, who at least has tho excuse Of busi-
ness to keep him oftentimes away.
1T is true says he, that teas and balls
are much frequented by beardless boys
and gary haired men. but the eligible men.
the elder sons. II Ia almost impossible to
secure even for dinners, which Is supposed
TO be the successful bait when everything
else fails
These men are away so much Of the time
hunting, shooting, yachting or engaged
in some special sport that they are rarely
found in London drawing rooms, much 10
the disgust OF the hostesses, who have TO de-
pend on the younger sons. who are very
prevalent there during the season for OBJ
vious reasons.
"A very clever American girl who married
man Of title over there told me that when
she first went into London society she was
perfectly amazed TO see women so attentive
to men, fairly waiting on them, a reversal Of
the customs she had known, and that the
men accepted this attitude as a matter Of
course.
They have been brought up to that; IL is
Inherent, and it will take good long time,
even with the help Of the many Americans
who have married Englishmen, to bring
about change Of manner. While the New
York man is essentially busy man he is
never too busy to look out for the comfort
md oonveniences Of his wife, to pay her
hose thousand little attentions to which she
las always beon accustomed and without
which women are as unhappy as they are
Without their personal Injuries.
THE American man is the finest in the
world, working hard to make his country
treat, working hard to give his wife and
smily all they need and more. They are
cal noblemen in every sense Of the word
Does that mean, is ventured. that you
10 not approve Of international marriagcs'"
Mr.. Martin shakes his head at this and
gain calls attention 10 the fact that he is
Iot 10 be interviewed. His views are. how
yer. that one cannot generalize on this
ubject, he least OF all whose niece, Lady
raven, has made one OF these much dis
usSed matches, but that each must be
judged on lie merits, and that there are