davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-17
Irish Wit.

iIISn VIII.
In the early sixties there lived in the
west of Ireland a priest and Protes-
tant minister who were very friendly
with one another. Each Of them pos
sessed spice Of the true native wit
The priest owned a mare which had
been given to him by a parishioner in
the days Of his youth. The old mare
was getting on in years and at last fell
very sick. She tottered rather than
trotted and refused to eat the finest
corn or the freshest hay Each day
the minister on meeting his friend.
Father DAILY. would inquire particular
ly after the poor old animals health.
and each day for a week or so he re-
ceived the same answer. "She is no
better. but SILL alive" At last ono
day after the usual sympathetic in
qury he was told that the mare was
dead. Thinking to take his friend I'M
awares and with twinkle in his eye.
he asked Father DAILY if he had given
the poor animal absolution before she
died. Quick as a flash Of lightning
came the priests reply: NO, your rev.
erence. couldn't. The unfortunate
haste was Il Protestant"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-17
Malaprops.

The pious old lady who, returning
from q visit to the ZOO, announced that
she always did enjoy a visit to the
theological gardens and the servant
who, describing her masters last ILL
ness. explained that the doctors held
consolation and found that it was
something eternal" have. found a re-
cent equal in the lady who observed
that when she was in Italy she saw
SO many people in the garbage Of
monks with tonsils on their heads"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-17
Had Been to Sea.

An Irishman. brought before a New
York police judge on charge OF va
grancy. was thus questioned:
What trade do you follow?"
''Shure. yer honor. I'm sailor" Pat
made answer.
'What-yOu a seafaring man? l
doubt whether you were ever at sea in
your life" exclaimed the irate justice.
''Shure. and does yer honor think
came over from Ireland in a wagon?"
grinned Pat
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-17
Veterinaries.

Hippocrates, the father of medi-
cine,' wrote a treatise on the veterina-
ry art, but it's true founder was Vege-
thus who wrote de Arte Veterinaria, I"
800 A. d. But the first attempt to ele-
vate the practice into science was as
late as 1861. when France set the ex-
ample Of establishing the first veteri-
nary college at Lyons.-Exchange.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-17
A Strong Pull.

Two men were having an argument
as to their respective strengths.
why" said the first, "every morn
ing before breakfast get a bucket
and pull up ninety gallons from the
we'll"
'"That's nothing" retorted the other.
Il get boat every morning and pull
up the river
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-17
CLEANING UP A PROFIT,

An Advertising Man Says Cleanliness
Is Next to Prosperity.
"The other day." says an advertising
man Of long experience, Il noticed in
a country paper one Of the best display
ads. I've seen in long time. The mer-
chant was advertising for trade, and
he printed some Of his specific bar
gains-actual figures and all that-but
1t was the catch phrase of his adver-
tisement that caught me. OF course
catch phrase ought to catch, you know.
This particular advertisers phrase was
The Clean Store and he ENLARGED
upon it in this way:
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-17
A Doubtful Bao.

Salesman-Sorry we're quite out Of
game. but I can recommend the sau-
sages.
Mr.. Won Sharpeshooter-H'm yes!
,aYS, Il cpdon Ho}f Halliday
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-17
Poor Angel.

81 wonder" said the sweet young
thing. 'why man is always so fright
ened when he proposes"
"That." said the chronic bachelor, lis
his guardian angel trying to hold him
back"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-17
Marked Him.

care you aware who ann"
''Sure. Didn't I just call you an old
idiot ?"-Cleveland Plain Dealer
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-17

Assume in adversely a countenance
of prosperity and in prosperity moder-
ate thy temper.-Livy.
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14
Clyndn.

Clyman, Aug. 1. 1908. Especial to
The Leader Rev. J. j. Salentin ar
rived from Europe on Sunday morning
after a vacation of three months, and
st. Johns congregation gave him a
reception at Columbia Hall on Tuesday
evening. A fine musical program was
rendered by st. Johns choir, after
which purse of $3.50. was presented
to his reverence by the members of
the congregation. The presentation
was made by Rev. F. Gahlmann of
Hoopston, ILL.,, Father Salentin being
80 completely taken by surprise that
he could scarcely find words to express
himself. After recovering his equa-
nimity he thanked the congregation
in few we'll chosen remarks. Neigh
boring clergymen who attended were :
Revs. Welta of Beaver Dam, Henning
of Reeseviile and Koester of Mllwau-
kee. A short musical program was
rendered by the Strohota Bros. first
and second violin with Miss CLARA at
the piano. After which all repaired
to the basement, where several tables
were loaded with good things to eat,
to which all seemed to co ample jus.
tice.
Mrs. Andrew Heintzlemann went to
Chicago ON Saturday last to attenc
the funeral of her brother.
Mrs. Mary Kelly of Milwaukee, il
visiting her brother. Joseph Metzger.
Mrs. L. Schumann of Neosha, ii
| visiting her brother, G. Simmon.
Miss E. Howard of Milwaukee, II
tn. guest of Miss Mary McGovern.
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14

The nomipa tim of a United States
Senator at the primary election 10 be
held September 1, 1908, is of unusual
Importance to the farming and dairy
interests of the state owing to the
great growth of these industries during
the past few years. Wisconsin has
been steadily coming to the front in
dairy and farm products. until she
stands among the foremost uf the
states of this nation.
One of these who have given Of
their time and energy to DEVELOPS
these interests is Hon. S. A. Cook of
Neenah, candidate for the nomination
for United States Senator. 1t is safe
to say that no man has rendered more
important serv ics for the farmers and
dairymen than Mr.. Cook. Regardless
of party affiliation the farmers and
dairymen should rally to the support
of Mr.. Cook. Coming from the farm
and still engaged in that industry, he
is naturally interested in problems
affecting the farm ard dairy interests.
While in Congress lie secured the pas
sage of the filled cheese law, which
has meant millions Of dollars to the
farmers in Wisconsin and throughout
the country, affecting as it did almost
every branch Of the farm industry.
This bill provided that filled cheese
which was an imitation uf the real
cheese snd cheaply made, but sold IN
competition with the genuine article
to the detriment of the honest manu-
facturer or dealer, should be branded
for just what it was. At the time of
the passage of this bill Mr.. Cook was
highly praised for his work by papers
interested in farming and dairying,
and was warmly endorsed by various
associations of farmers and dairymen
He has kept up his interest in these
matters since leaving Congress, aiding
them in every possible way.
Mr.. Cook also advocated a pure
food law similar to the one recently
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14
Redwood.

Redwood, Aug. II, 1908. Especial
to The Leader. )-Messrs. j. O. Cum
ningham and j. K. McAdams spent
Sunday at Milwaukee, going via he
interurban.
Master Francis Mccall is visiting
his aunt, Mrs. Philip Reilly at Fond
du Lac.
Mr.. and Mrs. Barnie Kreitziger Of
Reeseville, visited at the home of Jos.
Heger and family last Sunday.
Miss Maud Higgins has returned
from an extended visit with relatives
at Madison.
Miss Margaret oeilley of Ma Olson,
is u guest of her aunt, Mrs Peter
Solun.
Mrs. j. A. Emerfahl of Chicago,
Is visiting her parents, Mr.. and Mrs.
John Roller.
Mrs j. A. Kress of Watertown, Wis
tied at the home IF Mr.. M. E. Nc
Guire during the Week.
Threshiug is the fad now days.
Messrs. George Tyson and Frank
Schendel, left here Tuesday for North
Dakota, where they will spend several
months visiting relatives.
DR.. Eichelberg of Reeseville, made
professional call here Tuesday.
Mr.. and Mrs. Joseph Brooks and
daughter called in this vicinity during
the week.
Steuber Brothers have purchased
new thres hing engine and intend doing
some excellent threshing this fall.
]. J. Huss of ST. Paul, is Wis
iting his parents during the week.
Miss Lauretta Kiefer of Watertown,
is visiting at the home of B. I. Stra-
hota during the week.
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14

HubbletOn.

Hubbleton, Aug. II. 1903. .-(Specisl
to The Leader. )-Three Indians. be-
longing to the Bayshifkers tribe which
used to camp here winters along back
iD the sixties and seventies, pitched
their tents east of the river this week
where they remained for several day 8.
They recalled many instances of hap
penings here during their "palmy"
days.
Mr.. and Mrs. +. M. Bates and
children of Waterloo. Iowa, arrived
here Saturday for an extended visit
with relatives.
Misses Mary Rebstein and Marie
Reynolds visited relatives and friends
at Waterloo Saturday.
Miss Ella Powers has returned
from visit to the cream city.
Misses Pearl Amborn and Lucy
Rebstein were ovsr Sunday visitors in
Watertown.
Miss Anpa Trsyser of Chicago, Is
visiting relatives here.
Miss Mary Olsen has returned to
her home ut Kilbourn.
The passengers to Natertown Men
day were: Mrs. w. Q. Henningsen,
Mrs A. K. Olsen, MISS Mary Rey-
nulds, and niece, Marie, F. j. Am
born, A. W. H dyson, 7. Reynolds
and son, Harry, and Will uckon.
Mr.. and Mrs. E. Ebert and daugh-
ter, Agnes, of Emmet, spent Sunday
with relatives mere.
Mr.. and Mrs. f. J. Amborn are re-
ceiving congratulations over the arri-
val of baby girl. at their home Sat
arday, Aug. 6.
Everybody come to the picnic next
Sunday, Aug. 16, which will be held
in Bare's grove cast of the Orawfish
Mr.. and Mrs. Frank Kritzman of
Clyman, spent Sunday with relatives
here.
Mrs. a. McG1vern of Waterloo,
WAS a visitor in the village Monday.
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14
Number Of Votes
New Sub. Old Sub.

Paid in advance subscriptions annu-
ally or longer should he sent direct to
the office of The Leader, Wasertown,
Wis, and upon receipt of remittance,
subscription certificates with vote
bearing value, will be issued. The
paper will be delivered by mail as re-
quested by subscriber. Votes will not
be issued upon receipt unless voting
certificates are asked for at the time
payment is made.
This is Coupon No. 2. 1t counts for
ten votes. Clip it out and send it in
at once. The start, thus gained may
win you or your nominee $4O0 piano.
VOTING CONTEST CANDIDATES
Following are the nominations In
The Weekly Leader voting contest to
date:
DISTRICT NO. l.
Norma Kussel, Charlotte Hayes,
Aneta Krueger, Norma Goette, Emma
Schmutzler. Ella Behrens, Lillian
Mundt, Lille Habhegger, Meta Volk-
mann, Lulu Fuermann, Helen Willitz.
Viola Schoechert, Emma Zeidel. Emf
| ly Ruzek, Maggie Whelan, Francis
Lakota, Mrs. Anna Loukata, Addie
David, Tiliie Sauer, Marie Collins,
Antonia Prohazka.
DISTRICT NO. 2.
Redwood. Agnes M. Garrett, Ro-
sic Kube, Lillian Seibel, Mayme Roch,
Anna M. Roch, Francis Uehling.
Helen Mere. Lauretta Mccall, Mar
garet McCaig, Ropanna Wuestenburg.
Hustisford. Josie Roesler, Josie
Roethke, Emma Wendt, Antonio Rex.
Martha Bergemann, Carrie Baker, Ed
ma Randall, Esther Henschel, harriet
| Koch.
Ixonia. Kathryn Humphrey, Jessie
Humphrey, Mabslle Reese, Juliana
Hartman, Clara Gullekson.
Clyman. Hurlihy, Mamie
Stanton, Norah hIatt, Lille Stueber,
Matte GerbItz, Mary Darcy, Martha
Hoon, Martha Schmidt.
R F. D.-Hilda Smith, Plpersville
Loretta Dolan, Alice Carey. Juneau
Miss Ida Kreppel, Bertha Gloede.
Martha Strauss, Della WeIgand. R
F. D. No. 4; Lena Dietzel, Amanda
Rettig, Freda Flath, R. +. D. No. 5
Hattie Gerbig, R. +. D. No. 6.
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14
Watch for Him

A clever sharper is working an in
genlous trick in nearby villages. He
visits various homes and announces
that If he can get enough subscribers,
each individual agreeing TO pay 81, he
will start local circu ating library.
Village folk, gratified at the prospect,
all quickly assent. They readily pay
their dollars, and each is advanced a
book, sort of in the nature of security.
Twenty, 80, 40, maybe SO persons do
this, each getting vulume, then the
fellow disappears. The book always
is one of the cheap kind, costing not
mors than 20 cents; hence to each one
pslmed off the clever chap nets about
so cents-or S32 if he is able to induce
DO people tn subscribe. At Sharon,
in Walworth county, he got $50 almost
in single day, and left such lot of
cheap novels that few victims can be
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14
Candidate for the United States S6ndte-Wha He Has Done
for the Farmers-A Tried and True Man

passed; he introduced in Congress a
bill and urged its passage for a pure
seed law. and furnished the proof
showing that fully one-half the mix
ture called seed sold to the farmers
had 10 life germ, and still worse COLI
tanned more or less mixture of foul
seeds; two measures the value of
which agricultural interests Will
readily appreciate.
Mr.. Cook is a successful business
man. energetic. a Believer in the
Roosevelt doctrines, and with his pre-
vious experience as mayor, member
of assembly and congressman, will
make a vaumble member OF the Unit
ed States Senate, The Primary Elec
tion will be held Sept. 1st, 1908.
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14

calls for early work and those who win
these cash awards will be the ones
who pitch into the fray right now and
see their friends and acquaintances
about vutes. If you are eligible, enter
the contest at once. If you are not
eligible or do not care to compete,
nominate your friend, mother, sitter
or sweetheart as the case may be, and
help her win. Vote-getting will not
be hard nor tiresome when you think
of the liberal awards to be made. Clip
out the nomination blank or the ten
vote coupon, fill it in and send to ths
office at once. 1t may be the means
of you or your favorite candidate win
ming All excellent prize.
SCHEDULE OF VOTES.
If you want TO know more about this
contest, read last weeks Leader or
write the contest department Of this
publica tion for full PARTICULARS. Fol
lowing is the schedule showing how
votes are allowed on old and new sub
scribers to The Leader. The ten-vote
coupon may be voted regardless of
subscriptions. Votes will be allowed
on subscriptions TO The Leader as
fullows:
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14

The Leaders $3.50 popular voting
contest which opened last week has
every indication of being remarkable
SUCCESS. Since the first announcement
last Saturday dozens of ladies from
Watertown and surrounding territory
have signIfed their intention of com
peting for the liberal prizes offered.
The piano. of course, seems co be the
must coveted prize but the other hand
some prizes are being sought after
with no small amuont of interest and
enthusiasm. That there are several
fine prizes offered makes it certain
that nearly all of those who enter the
race actively will be handsomely
rewarded. The plan of the contest was
fully explained in last Saturdays
issue of The Leader. Those who failed
to gee the outline will do well to look
it up and get into the race at the ear
liest possible moment. The plan of
the contest, as published heretofore,
is to get new subscribers for The
Leader and in order to accomplish this
end, $3.50 in prizes will be awarded
in exchange for little effort on the
part of those who desire to compete.
The contest is open to all women.
single or married, living within the
prescribed districts and of good stand
ing in their community All that is
necessary to win is to get few votes
as the contest proceeds. Votes are
allowed on all paid-in-advance sub
scriptions to The Leader (old and new)
and coupons may be clipped from each
copy of the paper. These coupons are
valid for one week only and will not
be received later than that. The
second ten-vote coupon appears at the
bottom of this article.
The contest is now on its way in
full blast. The first complete an
nouncemenr of names uf candidates
and their standing will be made next
Saturday. August 22nd. Don't wait
for this announcement but start right
now getting subscriptions. Enter your
name at once and get all the votes you
can so that you will be ahead in your
district when the names appear for the
first time.
TWO DISTRICTS IN THE CONTEST.
District No. l, the city district, in
cludes all territory embraced within
the city limits of Watsrtown; district
No. 2, country district, includes all
territory outside of the city limits of
Watertown. Each district is separate
and distinct from the other. ALI any
candidate has 10 do is to win the
largest number of votes in her partic-
ular district. The candidates in either
district securing the greatest num-
ber of votes in the entire district
will be awarded the beautiful
piano of the capital prize. AS an in
centive for early effort, The Leaeer
will award the candidate in each dis
tri..t securing the largest number of
votes between now and Saturday, Aug.
30th, five dollars in gold to each. This
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14
Pennington.

Farmington, Aug. II. 1908. (Spe.
cial to The Leader. Miss Lydia M.
Weber of Freeport, ILL.,, is spending
her vacation here at the home of her
parents.
Alfred Sabel entertained a number
of his young friends Sunday afternoon
III honor Of his birthday.
Frank Schroeder wife and son,
Wilbert, spent Sunday with relatives
at Ebenezer.
Miss Elva Frank returned home
Friday from a few weeks visit at
Madison.
Lydia and Ella Weber were the
guests of Ella Rummler Sunday even
ing.
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14
Rain Was Needed

Owing to the late drought and the
poor feed in the pastures, the milk
supply dropped off nearly half. The
rain Tuesday and Wednesday will no
doubt have a tendency to give new
life to the grass and the pastures.
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14
found who are willing to admit they
were gulled.
CODieS American Farmer Sent

This week, The American Farmer,
published at Indianapolis. has been
ordered sent to the agricultural sub
scriber fer the Watertown Weekly
Leader. The paper will be sent free
and If any of our subscribers should
not receive it In due time, they Will
confer favor by dropping postal to
The Leader notifying of the fact.
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14
THE CONTEST IS
IN FULL SWING
TOTAL OF S85O.OO Is OFFERED
IN PRIZES IN CONTEST

Opens With Prospects of Success
Prizes Attracting SCOreS-POp-
uldr Voting May Be Entered Into
BY All Residents Of WdtertOWn
and Surrounding Territory.
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14

Smoke "Sea Rose. SC.
Weekly Watertown leader. [volume] (Watertown, Jefferson County, Wis.) 1908-1909, 1908-08-14

Since the leak in the water main
covered and the water In the loop cut
off and sent to the west side through
the lower main, the city has been
saving $50, 900 gallons every twenty
four hours IS shown by the register at
the waterworks.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-07-02
Wisconsin Waterpowers

have always held place in the cata-
logue of resources of the state. 1t
was water-power on the Milwaukee
river that laid the foundations OF
Milwaukee's manufacturing greatness.
But Wisconsin waterpowers have
never heretofore been developed on
the scale which promises to character
ize the near future. The age of elec-
tricity is an age in which the utiliza-
ton of waterpower presents possibili-
ties of economy undreamed of in any
former time. This is stimulating the
utilization of many waterpowers
which have heretofore run to waste
and the good will go on. a single
waterpowers plant on the ST. Louis
river near Superior now in course Of
construction will yield 100000 horse
power. This is $4,000 horsepower in
excess of the total waterpower at
present developed and utilized in the
state.-Evening Wisconsin.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-07-02
Republicans Busy.

Viroqua Censor: The congression-
al contest in this Third district is
assuming proportions with a heated
contention for the prize of nomina-
ton. Up to date nearly every county
has a candidate. So far as an
nounced they are: Judge D. o. Ma
honey of Vernon, Hon. Atley Peter
son of Crawford, District Attorney
Arthur W. Kopp of Grant, Attorney
L. W. Pollard of Iowa, Attorney E.
F. Ditmar of Sauk. Some time ago
it was announced that Hon. L. II.
Bancroft of Richland, would be in
the race, but it is later announced
that he will not enter.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-07-02
Recovering from Injury.

Darlington Democrat: W. Tomlin
of Waldwick was in town Monday
looking after his property here. Mr..
TomIin is recovering from the effects
of an accident suffered two weeks ago.
While engaged, with others, in tear
ing down an old hay shed, he was
struck on the top of the head by a
board thrown from the top of the
shed. The board was al inch thick,
six inches wide, twelve or fourteen feet
long, and came down endwise, strik-
ing Mr.. Tomlin almost squarely on
the crown of the head. He was un-
conscious for some time, but the
skull was not broken. The scalp was
torn extensively. The wound has
healed, and Mr.. Tomlin appears to
suffer no effects of it at this time.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-07-02
WOOdnan Celebration

in Gordon's grove, about II miles
southwest of Waldwick, near the resi-
of Joseph Gordon, July 4, 1908.
Orators: Hon. M. J. Cleary, of
Blanchardville; Rev. f. W. Schoen-
field. of Dodgeville. Chaplain. Rev.
A. f. Kroneman: President of the Day
Hon. G. G. Cox: Reader, Katherine
Davis; Marshal, G. J. Allen. Exer-
cises will commence at 10 O'Clock
sharp. Music by Brneveld Band.
A hot game of ball between the
Waldwick team and the Mineral Point
high school; game will be called at
p. m. sharp. After the ball game,
clay pigeon shooting, tug of war,
sack race, three legged race, and a
grand parade OF rag-muffins.
Lunch counter on the ground. Bal
loon ascension. Royal Neighbors
drill
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-07-02
CHURCH AT HOLLANDALE
Totally Destroyed by Lightning on
Tuesday Afternoon.

On Tuesday afternoon lightning
struck and destroyed st. Patrick's
church at Hollandale. By the prompt
assistance on the part Of the citizens
the contents OF the church and the
parsonage and contents were saved.
The church building was burned to the
foundation, and the walls of the par
sonage were badly charred: and only
through heroic efforts, and because of
the rain which had previously fallen,
was the fire prevented from spreading
to other buildings. The church edifice
was we'll insured and the pastor Rev.
Father Barry will commence at once
on the work of erecting a large and
fine building.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-07-02
Edison Records by William
Jennings BRYAN.

These Records were made by the
"Great CommOner" in the library of
his home in Lincoln. They are among
the plainest and most natural Edison
Records ever made. They are com
posed of telling passages chosen by
Mr.. Bryan from his favorite orations.
A. w. Thoma has these Records.
You can hear them from phonograph
at his store, and those who have
heard Mr.. Bryan speak will recognize
the charm of voice and manner for
which he is famous.