Shoshone journal. [volume] (Shoshone, Idaho) 1884-1931, 1908-04-17
THE SPINSTER AND
The BACHELOR
AN ARGUMENT OVER THE
ETERNAL FEMININE

poets speak Of you as wise and won-
anly, serene and calm, ministering
|, angels. and all the rest of it, but you
arent-you are just incomprehensible
women. You say mo- when you mean
yes you can't count except on your
fingers, You speak of everything you
possess from paper of pins to a box
Of bonds as your things, and you
always sit on the floor to put on your
shoes and stockings. Deny it if you.
can"
Il deny nothing" answered the
! Spinster. IF ] did I should be deny
/ ing what gees to make for charm in
my sex. If we were not Incompetent
sible, and bundles of contradiction, as
you call us: If we were plain and
straight and uneventful as road
without turning, you-all of you
would find nothing in us to speculate
about. You can lose yourself in
maze; you can't get lest on a straight
road"
ALSO you use old whom you want
to say DAMN" went on the Bachelor
imperturbably as though he had not
been interrupted. "Horrid old thing.
she's copied my spring hiatt! How
often I've heard that remark bubble
from angelic lips in a fury of rage.
And This old dress is a sight and I
never did like that old rug, anyway
Why don't you come out and say what
you really mean?"
Because we never really mean it -
said the Spinster, wisely mo woman
ever really means damn Old ex-
presses much more to her because
women have such a contempt for most
old things. Besides, what's the use
of getting into a white heat over in
animate things as men do? I've lost
my collar button scores of times, had
it roll under bureau and chairs and
and had to plump down on
all fours and crawl around after it,
but it has never yet made me swear
and kick the furniture about.
Il love man who loses his tenn
Ter on occasions, and l have a con-
empt for man who doesn't. But
surely lost collar button isn't an oc-
aston.
Once | remember bicycling along
very dark road with two men. We
we're riding Indian file because only
ne of us had lantern. We were
DING at clipping pace and sudden
', without warning, we smashed
ito tollgate pole which the keeper
ad let down and forgotten to put a
ght on. 1t was a terrific crash. One
the wheels was completely demol-
he'd, and we were all more or less
ruised. As we picked ourselves up
ON the debris | looked from one
an to another Besides an anxiety
know if | was hurt there wasn't
und, and presently exploded.
Won't somebody swear?' l said fu-
ously.'
Did they?" asked the Bachelor,
liling.
They did not" answered the Spin
or. Yet they were just the men
10 would have turned the air blue
er lost collar button. Incompre-
nsible woman, indeed It is man
10 is the incOmprehensible creature.
All women are alike. At least YOU
I'm. But men are entirely different.
len you expect man to be furious
angry you look up and catch him
ing smile. You look for the
lie, and he is swearing, with the
ms standing out on his forehead.
may not add on his fingers. he may
yes when he means yes, but you
not count on his moods and tenn
S for five consecutive minutes"
Ihat is because man is usually
aw unto himself" answered the
helor, loftily
And women are not?" queried the
nster with the air of one who
he'd to learn.
And women are not" repeated the
helor, imperturbably You see,
len are excessively self-conscious.
y are always wondering what other
len would do in like circum-
ces. They are rarely willing TO
blish presidents or even to follow
own inclinations in conventional
-ers. and almost everything is a
entional matter to a woman.
low, you see, you thought those
should swear because you con-
ed that, conventionally, it was
correct thing to do You never
ped to argue with yourself that
'uld have been rather blackguard-
or them to string out oaths in
presence, no matter how many
churned up in their minds. 1
1t not only showed a very prop
'spect for you, but remarkably
self-control"
onsense," said the Spinster, sharp
1t was one time when / would
Ugly have overlooked the loss of
ontrol. BESIDES, you are only
ng out the truth of my own ideas
you never can count On what
n is going to do in any given
Instance Do you know YOU are
trying person to argue witb9p
Il II? said the Bachelor, bright
perceptibly. May | come in
n seconds 2''