The Washington herald., 1908-02-04

teeth extractors, and many bottles or
vile looking medicine The lawyers
opened their books 10 certain paragraphs
Of the revised statutes" chiefly para
gTaph i-ll-4f. the BARRIERS sharpened their
enormous TaZUTs. made in IaTmduy,"
the policemen drew up in line. the or
deTl.es rolled up the barrel Of lather made
of oatmeal and water, and another bar
rel of tonic, 10 be used in enormous
squirt guns. It. was Neptme's dope
for the unruly. Then Neptune with a
flourish of his trident and settling his
gilt crown well back on his head. as Am
phItrite nestled % his side, asked if all
preparations had been completed.
"Nes. your majesty" replied Main Top
B0wliue
The Treatment Administered.
Then the trouble began a pill as big
as a horse chestnut, and marfe Of bread
crusts. was forced down the victims
throat The squirt gun hit him full in the
face, q lotion was rubbed IN his hair, and
then he was forced into the chair and
shaved. A question was asked Of him, and
as he opened his mouth TO reply a great
paint brush OF lather was thrust into IL.
Then came the order 20 pun out the plug
from the chair and drop him over back
ward into the tank Well. that flight and
that ducking, Here descriptive powers
faH your correspondent
When your correspondent escaped from
the tank he was greeted with more ap-
plause and cheering than he ever received
En- his life.
See that 1 get the Wabble back"'
roared Neptune with great laughter.
You're a member all right"
Wonderful Ailments Discovered.
The first initiation on the Louisiana was
over. Then came a roll call OF the off,
GERS. They had to produce certificates or.
pay tribute. The crew was assembled IN
long lines. one by one they went up the
ladders Drs. Flip and FLAP received
them Elaborate examinations were made
of their condition.
My. my, sire" Dr. Flip would shout
' 'Es got valvular contraction Of the eye
lids
What is the remedy" Neptune would
ask
My usual treatment, sire" would be
the response
Then would come a dose of dope. a rub
of hair OIL a shave. and toss over into
the tank to the hungry bears. Souse
souse, souse, again would follow and
when the victim came TO the surface each
time he would send up q stream Of water
from his mouth that resembled the spout
ing of whale. Those who We're waiting
for their duckings would shout with the
members of Neptune's party. Officers
crowded 10 the front of the bridge and
the midshipman who was using the stadi-
meter 10 get the proper distance In for
ma4jon had the hardest day of his life
trying TO keep his eye on the flag ship
Pass EN- up quick shouted Neptune
Dr. Flip would diagnose this case as
Fatty degeneration Of the shinbone
SIRE and the usual remedy would be
prescribed. over he went into the tank.
DR.. Flip would then announce q case.
"Palpitatiou Of the hair, sire, You can
see for yourself how it IS shaking"
let him have the prescribed treat
ment' was the order
Dr. Flip then announced a case Of
'folderols in the right ear. sire"
soak it TO him good" was the COM
mand.
Case of "TickduIIerOus"
DR.. Flip then had a case Of "tickduller-
Gus" Similar treatment All diseases
looked alike to Neptune.
"Bunions," was the next report of Dr.
Flip.
"Poultlce his hair good. It draws 'em
up. Then saw off his leg at the knee"
was the remedy prescribed for the bunion
ailment. DR.. Flip brought out the saws
with vile looking teeth. The two doctors
sawed away.
BY crackyi sire, I can't cut it of" re-
ported DR. Flip.
GIVE him an extra dousing." ordered
his majesty.
DR.. Flip next reported case Of tooth
ache.
What do the revised statutes sayT'
asked Neptune
BEG pardon" said DIR, Flip, that is in
the pharmacop0eia."
We'll what does the faTm-WhateveF
it is-say?' roared Neptune.
"Gargle, sire, said DR.. Flip: "the
fumes kill the pain" The victim got the
gargle treatment.
'Mullygrubs in his back, sire" was the
next from DR.. Flip. A lambasting with
stuffed clubs was the extra treatment for
that in addition to the ducking.
Then came a strange case. that Of
youngsteT who spends his spare time on
board studying mathematics IN the hope
r.
went over him with great care. He got
out bottles, and pills, and saws and
bandases, and plasters. The crowd could
see that it was a most serious case
DIR. Flip was called in consultation. The
books were produced, and the symptoms
were pondered over with many grave
shakes OF the head. At last DR. Flip made
the right diagnosis.
'E's got the hypotenuse rampant" he
shouted My my! ] am ast0nished that
a surgeon Of the established reputation
Of DR. Wentworth, Of the United States
navy sire. should let all these ailments
that we have here to-day escape i'm. |
sire shouted Dr. Flip.
Sally Ann and 81 "GOney Bird"
Long before the initiation was over the
policemen had reused the excitement If
Sally Ann, who was perched in the rig
ging over the bridge. watching the
strange performance, as they ran about
the ship chasing the culprits who tried
to escape. Each succeeding arrest stirred
her up more and more, and she shrieked
out her grief in UneaTthly yells One Of
the bluejackets had to gather her in his
arms and stroke her head and talk sooth- /
ingly to her before she would be com
forted
Another thing that pleased Neptune |
and the bluejackets was the appearance /
OF an enormous gull. a ''gOney bird" they
called It. that lowered over the initiation |
ceremonies for more than an hour turn
ing and twisting its head and giving out