davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
The Most Suspicious Ever.

Henry Clews, the banker and au-
thor, was talking at the Union club in
New York about a certain financier
mo wonder the man is so success
full" said Mr. Clews. He is the most
careful, the most suspicious fellow
ever heard Of In fact, he reminds me
of a Staffordshire farmer my father
used to tell Of
1T was said of this farmer that
whenever he bought herd of sheep
he examined each sheep closely to
make sure that it had no cotton in it.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
Afraid of Results.

Louise spends great deal Of time
in the room of a favorite aunt who
lives with her parents, but the child
is not yet up in the mysteries of the
toilet. Her aunt recently purchased
some of those hair ornaments popular
ly known as rats"
These Louise did not behold until
one day she saw her aunt remove sew
eral. The child few out of the room,
screaming at the top of her voice to
her mother:
Mother, mother. Aunt Nell is un-
raVeling!"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

five months in a hos
pital l was dis
charged as incurable,
and given only six
months to live. My
heart was affected, l
had S 10 t n e r n g
spells, and some
times fell uncon-
scious. / got so /
couldn't use my
arms, my eyesight
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
The Judges lnkweII.

Judge Boyd, of the Irish bench, kept
supply of his favorite ''pizen" on
the desk before him in an inkstand of
peculiar make. When he wanted a
sip he took it through quill pen.
while counsel professed entire ig-
norance of the little maneuver. Tell
the court truly he once said to a
witness, "were you drunk or sober?'
quite sober, my lord" replied the
man. And his counsel added. with a
look at the inkpot: AS sober as a
judge"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
Mere BaqateIIes.

A Maine girl ran over a man with
her auto and married him. The IN
fortunate fellow was so badly hurt, he
couldn't get away, suppose.
1t must be a relief for some men
to be shaved by barber. They don't
have to look at themselves in the
glass.
The tortoise isn't in it with two Wis
ting women trying CD to get out
their money when the conductor
comes around for the fare.
Wild oats make bad oat meal.
If Eve had told Adam not to eat the
apple, l suppose he would have done
1t just the same, the contrary old
thing!
When l was boy, the only training
school in our town was in the wood
she'd
Some sweet day love shall be
requited, honor reclaimed, right en-
throned, truth triumphant and fresh
eggs redeemed from the trust.
Gods harvest time will find a lot
Of fellows over behind the hedge play.
Ing poker and quarreling over the last
raise.
RsceMss.es
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

The extraordinary popularity of fine
white goods this summer makes the
choice of Starch matter of great i'm
portance. Defiance Starch, being free
from all injurious chemicals, is the
only one which is safe to use on fine
fabrics. It's great strength as a stiffen-
er makes half the usual quantity of
Starch necessary, with the result of
perfect finish, equal to that when the
goods were new.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
Chanued His Mind.

"WeIl, what are you doing there? %
asked the lady, addressing a tramp
who had just climbed tree in time
to escape a savage bulldog.
Madam" replied the hobo, cit was
my intention to ask for a hand-out, but
in the interest of humanity l now re-
quest that you give any surplus food
you may have on hand to my canine
friend down there
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
HOw'S This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case OF Catarrl that cannot be cured by Halls
FJCHENEY & CO., Toledo, o..
We the undersigned. have known +. j Cheney
ior The last Is years and believe him perfectly hon.
orabie all business transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligations made by his firm
WALDING. KINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, 0.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces OF the
system. Testimonials sent free. Price IS cents pei
bottle. Sold by al Druggists
Take Halls Fam ly Pills for constipation.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

That an article may be good as well
as cheap, and give entire satisfaction,
is proven by the extraordinary sale of
Defiance Starch, each package con-
tanning one-third more Starch than
can be had of any other brand for the
same money.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

With a smooth iron and Defiance
Starch, you can .launder your shirt
waist just as well at home as the
steam laundry can; it will have the
proper stiffness and finish, there will
be less wear and tear of the goods,
and it will be positive pleasure to
use Starch that does not stick to the
iron.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
VIZ zsZzZISzzzzE,>
11)fNf UNCLE BY
1907, by Byron williams.)

Copyright, 1907, by Byron Williams.)
Heroes.
Stubbie and Fatty and Billy and ME-
We went a-Skating last wensDay, by gee.
when we had cut a few Flyers fer fun.
we sailed away on a Race up the Run.
we wuz going skate up to Roe
that is Miles in thee line of the Crow!
but when thee River was picking its
way,
1t did not know where head for that
day!
1t is at least Ateeen miles as yew Go!
we wuz a scooting along very Fast
I wuz ahed and Stub White he wuz last.
Fatty wuz brething quite hard by mi
side
Hi! There's a HOLE gist ahed." Billy
cried!
stuck my heel in thee Ice very quick.
Fatty did but thee thing didn't stick.
next thing we herd was a Teribul CRASH
Fatty fell in2 thee River ke-splash!
mi! he went down out of site like a Stopei
Hurry" yelled Stub, dashing up, with
groan.
Throwing himself by the hole very neat
he Yelled 2 me 2 Ketch hold of his feet
then Billy took hold of me and Stub sed
Hurry and pull, am holding his he'd!
mayB yew think that it wasn't quick
work
Rescuing Fat with a very swift jerk.
gracious! we thought for Time he wuz
DED!
then we awl rubbed him until he wuz
Redi
he coffed a lot but he cum out awl Rite,
when we reched Home. helping Fat, it
wuz nite
Fat caught Teribul cold in his head
ever since then he has bin in his bed.
Fla, tvs ma seq we are HERDS, but say
| Stub wuz thee Teller that saved him that
day!
He cannot Skate very fast, that's a
Cinch,
but he kin THINK Oful fast in g
Pinch!
down at thee School he is cock of the
walk
awl of thee Girls hang around him tt
talk
wait til Stub falls in thee River, by gee
1 will bet yew he'll be rescued by ME!
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

was impaired and the Kidney secre-
tons were badly disordered. / was
completely worn out and discouraged
when l began using Doan's Kidney
Pills, but they went right to the cause
of the trouble and did their work well.
l have been feeling we'll ever since"
Sold by ali dealers. SO cents box.
FosterMilburn Co., Buffalo, n. 7.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
Sleeping strenqth.

Diffident Lover Crying to feel his
simultaneously you know,
Ter actually dreamt that 1 proposed
that mean?
Practical Girl (promptly)-Mean.
Well, it means that you are lot more
sensible asleep than you are awake,
Freddy.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
Friendly Advice.

Say. old man." began Marley,
that ten-spot I loaned you"
Il haven't forgotten, old man." in
terrupted Boroughs. Don't worry; l
still have it in mind"
Yes, but don't you think it's about
time you relieved your mind?"
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

Governess-Who was the wisest
man?
Tommy-Solomon.
Governess-And who was the wisest
woman?
mmy-Well-er-it's either you
or ma, l can't make up my mind
which.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

No matter what his rank or position
may be, the lover of books is richest
and happiest of the children of men,
Langford.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
What's in a Name?

There was a tall Russian named Muski-
Observation-Disclosures.
You may say his name twice
II YOU think it sounds nice,
But L bet it will make your voice husky
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
Effect Of Serving on Grand Jury.

There Is one sure way to get
man interested in the proceedings of
the criminal. courts" said the gray
headed man, and that is to put him
on grand jury. Just let a man once
serve the public in that capacity and
thenceforward he becomes an indie
fatigable student of the criminal rec
ords. The result of his experience is,
in a way, inevitable. Naturally any
man with a spark of curiosity about
him is anxious to know the outcome
of the trials of the persons he has
found indictments against In fol
lowing these cases through the vari-
Gus courts he acquires an interest
in judicial proceedings that really
never dies."-N. Y. Sun.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
Foiled.

Il guess 1 can't collect that money
Mr.. Jones owes me-"
why don't you mail him a state
ment?"
Il was going to, but sign on the
letter box says Post No Bills
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

None so little enjoy life, and are
such burdens to themselves, as those
who have nothing to do.-Jordan.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
Stop That Couoh

before it becomes chronic. &c
Browns Bronchial Troches, the bes
preparation known for coughs.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

After sizing up their husbands, we
don't blame some women for being
fond of dogs.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

Mrs. W4nslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, sOftens the gums reduces tn
hammAt;on allays pain, cures wind coc. CSC bottle
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

towards falter, but danger is often
overcome by those who dare.-Queen
Elizabeth.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

ONLY ONE "BROMO QUININE"
That is LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE. Look for
the signature of e. w. GROVE. Used the World
over To Cure Cold in One Day. Csc.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

Life is to be fortified with many
friendships. To love and to be loved
is the greatest happiness of existence.
Sydney Smith.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

There is no need to hunt for trouble:
everything comes to those who wait.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

Sheer white goods. in fact. any fine
wash goods when new, owe much OF
their attractiveness to the way they
are laundered, this being done in a
manner to enhance their textile beau
ty. Home laundering would be equal
ly satisfactory if proper attention was
given to starching, the first essential
being good Starch, which has sufficient
strength to stiffen, without thickening
the goods. Try Defiance Starch and
you will be pleasantly surprised at the
improved appearance of your work.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

Griggs-The idea of your letting
your wife go round saying she made
man of you. You don't hear my wife
saying that.
Briggs-No, but I heard her telling
my wife that she did her best.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

Use Red Cross Ball Blue. 1t makes clothes
clean and sweet as when new. All grocers.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

Sweet are the uses of adversely
for our neighbors.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

PILES CURED IN TO IL DAYS
PALO OINTMENT is guaranteed To cure any ca Sc
OF Itching. Blind. Bleeding or Protruding Piles in
ITO IA days or money refunded. Soc.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

A lot of so-called golden silence is
only plated.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
RED GROSS RAUL RIur

Should be in every home. Ask your grocel
for 1t. Large 2 OF. package only 5 cents
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
FIVE MONTHS IN HOSPITAL.
Discharged Because Doctors Could Net
Cure.

Levi P. Brockway, S. Second Ave,
Anoka, Mimi, says: AFTER lying for
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

Orfis Boy-A lady with some poetry.
Editor-How old?
Boy-'Bout IS.
Editor-What!! Show her in at
once, boy.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
To Farmers Everywhere
Why Work Yourselves to Death Trying
to Make Living.
Where the Land Fertile and Grows Eno-
mousy Profitable Crops With Little Labor
Read This Carefully.

EnidO April
DR. Simmons, San Antonio, Texas:
NV Dear
in land finest
osee fotyacr a moi
kandc chocolate oam,a
tile but blow l tooks from
foundbe all underh wtha
In my opin
thing Maine California
o hndan
land lin Oklahoma uldsen
wells that a
o New ONT" me
the n
represented of
and overdrawn No realize what
splendid this
onew to
remai
truly j. S. LIGE1TFOOT
c. Simmons divided
$4,000
DR.. C.. r. SIMMONS,
2i5 Alamo Plaza, San AntoEio, Texas
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

Self-instruction is the. one great OBJ.
ject of rational education. In mind as
we'll as body we are children first, only
that we may afterwards become men
Arnold
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08
Important to Mothers,

Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

Let a man take pride in his
achievements of virtue. Let him take
satisfaction in his moral eonquests.
Let him have faith that he can do.
and no height is inaccessible to him
Marter.
Barbour County index. [volume] (Medicine Lodge, Kan.) 1880-current, 1908-01-08

Fat caught Teribul cold in his head
ever since then he has bin in his bed.
Fa tvs ma seq we are HERDS, but say
Stub wuz thee Teller that saved him that
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-03-08
'GU|LF0RD is FOR
TAFT 0vERC CANNON
Delegates Instructed for the Sec
rotary for President and
AtLams for Chairman.
fsp ,cinllto Tic lI.in.a- i,l,natcl,.I

Tsp cinl TO The riines- Dispatci.l
GREENSBORO, N. e.. March 1.-The
Guilford county Republican convention
to elect delegates to the State con-
vcntion, i'm session here this afternoon.
adopted resolutions instructing for
TAFT for President and Adams for
state chairman without division. A
test vote had previously been taken
on the election of permanent chair
man, Judge Douglas. for the Taft fac
ton. defeating Hosklns. OF the Cannon
faction. by vote Of AZ to 35
After this vote r,le Cannon boomers
lay down, the administration forces
having their own way without discOrd
the remainder Of the session. There
was large attendance OF delegates
and there was great tension between
the two factions until 1t was seen by
the vote for chairman that the Federal
ofilcc-liolders were in control, when the
outs surrendered. 1t is the first Re-
publican convention held here In years
without disgraceful row between the
ms and outs as to who should control
The outs two years ago defeated the
ms by larger majorities than they
were defeated by to-day
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-03-08
POSTAL SAVINGS BANKS
Acknowledgement Meyer Gives HI.
yiews-WuI Adopt Principle.

Postmastcr-GcneraI Meyer Gives His
yicws-WilI Adopt Principle.
WASHINGTON, d. c.. March bills
TO establish postal savings banks that
have been introduced By Senator's Car
ter. Knox and Burkett were to-day con-
sidered by "A subcommittee of the Sem
ate Committee on Post-Offlces and Post
Roads. consisting of Senator's Carter.
Burrows Bankhead and Clay.
Postmaster-General Meyer was be-
fore the subcommittee and outlined his
views on the subject. Postma ster- Gen
eral Meyer stated to the committee,
while the Knox bill was drawn In his
department.. he was not welded to that
measure. and was very ready to ap-
prove amendments of provisions to BIO
taken from both the Burkett and Car
ter bills. The committee and the POST
master-Genera were agreed upon the
plan for placing the funds to be ser
cured by the postal savings bank in the
various national banks of the country
at rate of interest sufficiently large
to pay depositors . per cent. and to
defray all attendant expenses.
Speaking to-day of the chances Of
securing action on this bill, Senator
Carter, chairman of the subcommittee,
said:
~ have no doubt tho Senate will pass
la bill embodying the postal savings
principle
There will he further meetings to
discuss the measures.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-03-08
GOVERNOR JOHNSON is MUM

-. -
Declines to Say What VIII he His At
titudc as to Being Candilntc.
ST. PAUL, MIMI, March 7.--Gover-
nor Johnson was sought to-day in an
effort to get from him statement Of
his attitude In regard to the action OF
the Minnesota Democratic State Gem
trail Committee. which yesterday placed
him in the field as Il presidential cam
didate. His private secretary, It. a.
Day. who is chairman OF the Central
Committee, said: 1.-THE Governor is not
ready to make statement yet. I doubt
very much whether he will make any
statement ms to his position until after
the State convention meets In st. Paul
May 18th to select delegates to the
national conventions"
When Governor Johnson arrived at
tho Capitol to-day he was besieget! by
reporters for definite statement rs
to his position. TO all requests lie re-
piled that he had no statement to make
now. He declined to say when he
would make one, II at all.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-03-08
THE NASSAU is LAUNCHED
Germany's First Mammoth Wnrshlp,
InnoEnratins New Err, Christened.

German!'s First Mammoth MaSsNlP'
InnnrnratIng New Era, Christie ned.
wILHELMSHAvEN, March Ger
mauy's first mammoth warship vas sue
cessfuily launched here today and chris
tened Nassau by the Grand Duchess oil
Baden Emperor William, the Grand
Duke of Baden, Prince Henry of Prussia
and Prince Henry Of the Netherlands rs
well as brilliant assemblage of prom
tnent officials were present Wilhelm Won
Bengstenberg. lord lieutenant OF Hessc-
Nassau. made "A speech in which he greet
ed the new vessel as a welcome ade-..on
to Germany's sea power and defenter
OF the interests of the empire.
Tho launching Of the giant sbattleshp
Nassau inausurates n. new era In the
German navy. In size. armament. speed
and Installation. sfic Will be superior 10
any warship hitherto built in Germany.
The Nassau displaces 1850 tons and 10
built entirely of hardened Steel. Her
dimensions and the thickness of her ar
NOR are not exactly known ana every
thing connected with her construction
has been kept strictly secret BY order
Of tho marine minister. 1t is known.
however. that she is to be fited with three
sets OF triple expansion reciprocatins cii-
gjnes and Is TO be provided with three
1ropeitcrs. 1t is specified that she shall
attain Il speed of at least nineteen knots.
Her crew is to number SG6, including
twenty-seven officers.
a twin ship in every respect. the Sash
sen. is TO be launched soon from :h9
Weser yard alta Bremen. while work is
proceeding rapidly on the Wurtembers
at the Vulkan yard. Stetten. and on the
Baden at the Germania works. Kiel
These latter two ships. although classed
with the Nassau. are to have an even
larger dis placement, namely. 1890 tons
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-03-08
MRS. HOOPER STRICKEN
Taken Sick ON street aud Died Short
Time Later.

Taken Sick ON street aud Died Short
Time Later.
Mrs. Sarah v. Hooper, wife Of Mr..
John Il. Hooper. superintendent of
HOLLYWOOD Cemetery. died last evening
at 1880 O'Clock. at her home. No. 40n
South Cherry Street, from the effects
of a. stroke of paralysis.
While, visiting her, daughter-in-law
on Cumberland street yesterday after
noon. Mrs. Hooper felt unwell and tel-
ephoned for her husband to walk with,
her home. With his assistance she
reached her room. but grew worse. and
passed away, despite the efforts OF her
physicians. She was surrounded by
| her family when the end came.
Mrs. Hooper was the youngest dauEli-
ter OF the late Thomas j. and Sophia
iBosller Beal. She is survived by her
husband and seven children-Mrs.
James a. Davis. Misses Sophia b.. Lou
isa r. and Virginia Hooper. and Mcssrs.
Thomas b.. G. Fraser and John r..
! Hooper. 1r.
The funeral will take place from the
l.rostdcnce Tomorrow at noon.
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-03-08

We are loaded to tile muzale this
spring with good shirts, When the
new shirts came in 4 wanted to pick
out bunch and pack my trunk and
start right Oft on my vacntlon. / tell
you the patterns are the finest that
ever came through the ttinnels-white
grounds, with small figures and dainty
stripes. and most of them are coat
style. You can be sure that our sl.o0
shirts are every one cut full and exact
in every way and they Will set good
and easy around the neck and will not
wrinkle at the sides OF the neckband
nor try to creep up under Your chin
and you can swear that tile bodies arc
fun and large and perfectly shaped
and that every size neck has it's own
size body, which tire same. ] must con-
TESS. IS peculiar You may not know
that many sliirtmakers lave only one
or two size bodies. so the only differ
ence in their shirts is. tile size of the
neckband. Shirts made on this hit
and miss method are certainly not to
be FOUND In this toggcry. And when
you hit up An Eclipse shirt for si.5o,
that costs the house $500, you may
know there isn't much sugar in SELL
ing our $500 or s1.50 shirts. but there
Is a satisfaction In Knowing that you
are getting a big run for your shirt
money. Come In and look us over
when you are ready We've big line
of soc shirts too; spring patterns. and
they're winners WILLIE,
The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-03-08
NEW MEMBER OF CABINET
Bill Creating secretary OF Trnnsporta-
ton and Public Work.

Bill creating secretary OF IfnnSpOEia.
ton and Public Work.
WASHINGTON. d. c.. March IA
bill to create a. new,<cxscuttvc depart
.ment was introduced in the House to-
day by Mr.. Ransdell. of Louisiana. The
bill provides that the new department
shall have entire control Of all national
affairs relating to the transportation
and construction and maintenance OF
all public buildings which shall be au-
tlorized By Congress. and for which
provision is not otherwise made by
law; also all works ito foster promote
and develop the conservation and eff
Client utilization of the natural re-
sources of the United States
The bill authorizes the appointment
by the President OF Secretary Of
whose salary shall be $4,000 n year.
and an assistant secretary at a salary
of $500. Among the bureaus provided
for is one to be called the Bureau of
Waterways. headed by a commissioners
to be appointed b. the President, whose
powers shall include authority to eX-
anime and investigate the physical
character and general utility of the
waters of the United States for the
purpose of irrigation. power production
and agriculture and for domestic uses.
One of the most sweeping effects of
the nen sure. IL 1t becomes a law.
would be to transfer to the direction Of
the new department practically all OF
the projects. aside from army and
navy, now controlled By the War De-
partment.