davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04
An Undianifaed Proceeding

It's strange that we can't even
have q quiet literary meeting in this
town." says the Billville Banner. "A
most undignified scene occurred at
the last Literary. when the president
was hit side the head with leg Of
barbecued mutton! And barbecued
mutton II 20 hard to come by. tool
Atlanta Consultation.
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04
It's now in order for the man who
told YOU 80" to come to the front.
There are some big corn raisers in
Iowa. A farmer of that state recently
sold his corn crop for 81, 800.

A Topeka hired girl married a mill
lionaire, and now when she comes
home to visit, "sassiety" people stand
in the street in order to get the dust
from her automobile as it whizzes by.
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04
And She an Old Maid.

Il sat in the front seat of the car
With nine men," said the old maid.
-four In the same seat, five facing me-
I paid my fare with q dime and the
conductor said: Two? I wonder
which Of those men he thought l was
going to pay for"
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04
One Was Enough.

One Was Enough.
Dad" said the white-faced lad.
how many cigars does 1t take to hurt
q boy?"
How many have you smoked"
"One."
That's the number" said dad. and
taking down the strap from behind
the door he soon convinced the boy
that he was right.
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04
AZ the Playwright Sees u.

IF there was any justice about It.
which there isn't" said the play.
wright, the name Of the playwright
would be on the billboards three feet
tall, the name Of the star next, the
name Of the manager last. AZ It 10.
the manager comes first, the star
next, the nsme of the man who prints
the billboard next and the playwright
last In point Of sixe."
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04
Got the Wronu Girl.

After being married a year, a young
man named Hahn. living at Volosca.
Dalmatia, discovered the other day
that he had not married the girl he in
tended. When he proposed to- her he
mistook her for her twin sister, who
so resembles her that they can
scarcely be distinguished apart. He
did not realize his error until he be.
gan calling her by her Christian name
instead Of by the terms of endear.
ment he had hitherto used.
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04

The Things Of This World.
It Is not We who possess the things
Of this world. It is the things of this
world which possess us.-Johannes
Jorgensen.
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04

York attaches undue importance to
itself q . prohibition town, yet accord
ing to figures furnished by one Of its
own citizens in IN article for distribu.
ton Is . campaign document, the
money on deposit in the banks of that
city amounts to S164 for every man,
woman and child inside the corporate
limits. It has always been one Of the
principal arguments used by probibi'
tionists that in towns where saloon
licenses are granted there is less cloth
ing and food stuffs purchased and less
money on deposit per capita than in a
town where the open saloon has been
banished, but it has remained for
York to refate the oft-repeated asse,-
ton. Columbus saloons have not
reduced the people Of this city to the
psuper class. The amount of money
on deposit in the Columbus banks will
average $238 for every man, woman
and child in the city, or $74 more per
capita than is on deposit in the banks
of York. The number of bootleggers,
drug stores and the amount of liquor
shipped in from other cities are not
enumerated in the printed matter sent
out for public perusal by the compiler
of prohibition literature.
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04
Native Dance In Fiji.

A very curious and exceedingly
clever dance may be Witnessed IN
Fill, called by the natives the suxar.
cane meke," or sugar-eane dance. II
represents the growth Of the au~.,
cana
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04

F. w. Fitzpatrick contributes an
article in the November McClure's on
Fire American Extravaganza
He says: Fires have cost us as many
~ 1000 human lives in one years
time, and our loss in money value
through the destruction ofproperty is
almost rs appalling. The production
ofgold in the entire world, something
like 500, OOO, 900 per year, would not
recoup Us forour losses by fire, and the
incidental expenses accompanying
them, in the same period of time, the
value of all the coal mined in this
country in a years time would just
cover the cost to us of our fires; the val
ne of our lumber production is only a
trife more. We are fond of luxuries,
and import great many, yet the value
of all that importation is but a fifth Of
our fire cost The cost of fire and its
accessories, in round numbers, is just
about IN even s6O0,OOO,OOO a year.
It may be but q peculiar coincidence,
or perhaps it is an unconscious econo-
mic adjustment, that with all our phe-
nominal growth and the tremendous
boom and vast amount of building
carried on in some years, the most &C.
tive year We have ever had in building
construction Melted just $4,000, COOS
worth of new buildings and alterations
during the twelve months. So that
with al our Wanted activity, We pro.
duoe in money value only . triAe more
than what We destroy. Worse than
that, in the first month of the present
year our losses by fire were over $24,-
100000, and during the same time We
expanded but sl6,OOO,OOO in new
buildings and rep
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04

The ABc and XVI Of
ADVERTISING
.: . TEN 1M KS. ." No
Never spring Zig newspaper advertisement u7cn
the public Unexpectedly.
Make it an invarable rule to lead up by two or
three nicely graded steps the important announce
ment to be made People take certain pleasure out
of anticipation They enjoy their dinner all the more
they have been annously waiting to hear the bell
But if you open up your morning newspaper and find
bazed forth in big headlines the advertisement OF
something startlngy you stunned rather than
interested If, however, for two three days you
have been looking for this announcement and each
day getting little curious about it. get your
self keyed up in anticipation and then the announce
ment is even better than you had imagined you sur
render in a body.
Don't pay the United States government two
cents for carrying letter circular worth less than
two cents.
thousand on envelopes and quarter of cent pound
paper and beat down the printer in price that he
is obliged to 3O-cent ink and by various other
economies get his material ready for S. thousand.
He will then pay the government $50 for carrying his
stingy, Imprinted, cheap-looking S. worth Of
stuff and pat himself the back for being economical
Don't waste gray matter on your competitor No
matter how entertainingly he hes, you 60 right
telling the plain blunt kind of truth tha-mother-used
to-make.
Truth can be made far entertaining than
falsehood. Don't be afraid to call spade spade.
the goods are shoddy advertise them as shoddy,
give good shoddy measure, and charge shoddy prices.
There tens Of thousands Of people who prefer
shoddy; prefer to eat it, to wear it, to be entertained
by it.
If you have news to print about your store-some
call it advertising order twenty three styles of
type with whirligig borders and crazy badly
ed picture. The hummer on New Years Day or the
clown at Barnum's may look funny but he couldn't
make good On the road selling gold watches. The
advertiser has idea that the more fool things he
draes into his copy the entertaining it is The
clown has the very same idea
The great thing in all advertising is not quantity
of circulation, but quality of your copy printed in
newspaper the readers of which able to buy your
goods.
I@p".nu~at%@
Copyrgh b
14E PLUG HAT OF ,ApAn vintage nike crown AND
the end he
Years Ago cnest anotner
The Columbus journal., 1908-11-04

Hopeless case.
Ten gods cannot help . man W.
loses OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES provoeD.
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04
WHY NOT THE PHILIPPINES

Springfield Republican: The easy,
off-hand way in which the admins
tration fixes upon Febrary l, 1909,
as the date upon which the Ameri-
can evacuation of Cuba shall be
completed and the autonomous
Cuban government restored to its
place of authority forms a strange,
inexplicable contrast to the same ad-
ministration's invincible withdrawal
from the Philippines. The actual
difference in the conditions existing
in the two policies might seem to
indicate. The ability of the Filipinos
to govern themselves is much nearer
equality with that of the Cubans than
those who are responsible for both
peoples may like to admit Secre-
tary Taft's personal association with
the Philippine and the Cuban policies,
and his Endorsement of both, render
his position somewhat extraordinary.
1t he concurs in the establishments
early next year of the Cuban govern
ment, as he undoubtedly does, his
stern insistence upon Several gener-
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04
AT Prayers" and a Seat.

The scramble for seats in the house
Of commons is regulated by certain
rules. A member present at prayers
has right to the place he then occu-
pies until the rising Of the house.
Each evening stands absolutely inde-
pendent and by itself, and therefore
the title to seat secured by attend
ance at prayer lapses at the termina-
ton of the sitting. On the table in a
little box is supply of small white
cards with the words "At prayers in
large old English letters. Obtaining
one of these cards and writing his
name on it under the words AT pray
ers," the member slips it into a re-
ceptacle in the bench at the back of
the seat and thus secures the place
for the night against all comers. He
may Immediately leave the house and
remain away as long as he pleases.
The place may be occupied by another
member in the meantime, but when
ever the master Of the seat, the gen.
tleman whose autograph Is written
on the card in the little brass slit, re-
turns to the chamber the temporary
occupant Of the seat must give place to
him.
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04

The resignation of Hon. Joseph K.
Toole as governor of the state of
Montana has called forth numerous
expressions of regret from every Sec
tion of this great commonwealth.
Joe" Toole has served the people
of this state in many public capacities
within the past quarter of a century
and in every one Of them he has
proven himself worthy of the trust
placed in his hands. Whether as
legislator, congressman or governor,
he has been true to his people and re-
tires from his present high position
with the admiration of all. Although
a central feure when the state was in
a turmoil of political intrigue and de-
bauchery, he kept his hands ever
clean and performed his duties as his
conscience dictated. Ill health com
pels his retirement but his thousands
of sincere admirers hope that the
change of climate which he will seek
at once will restore him to his wonted
vigor. Lieutenant Governor Norris
takes the executive'ch chair by this act
of Governor Ioole and the honor
could not fall upon worthier should
erS.
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04

Patsy Dwyer "a few years ago, shot
down a man in cold blood in Gilt
Edge. For this brutal crime, he was
given a paltry two years sentence in
the penitentiary. He was soon re-
leased and, after engaging in num-
erous browls, killed another man in
Nevada, his victim being shot in the
back while sts<ding on the street
talking with some friends. A tele-
gram was received here few days
ago stating that Nevada jury had
acquitted Dwyer. Who will be the
next victim, not Of Dwyers ever
ready gun but Of our jury system
which is becoming one of the jokes
of our national life?
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04
he Tanned the Princess.

William the Conqueror when he was
only the Duke Of Normandy had fallen
in love with the Princess Mathilde Of
Flanders. She was. proud and naughty
and had refused the noble lovers who
were anxious to win her hand. The
willy Norman studied her character
carefully and when he had mapped
out his plan of campaign rode into the
town one day when she, at the head of
a party, was going from church. He
sprang from his horse by her side,
boxed her ears soundly, pulled her of
her steed, rolled her vigorously in the
mud, told her that he loved her and
rode away. The astonished princess
was infuriated and swore all kinds of
vengeance. After her rage cooled
down, however, she said to her father
that upon reflection she had come to
the conclusion that the only man who
could treat Mathilde Of Flanders in
that manner should be her husband.
They were married, and the union
turned out to be one Of the happiest
marriages In the history Of royalty.
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04
A Cane In Defense.

"If you want to keep of holdup
men," said an old detective to the OBJ
server. carry cane. A holdup man
is more afraid Of cane than he Is Of
a revolver. He's deathly afraid that
the man carrying it will jab it in his
face or eyes or get the end of it in his
mouth. On this account they're Just
as much afraid Of small light stick
as they are of heavy one. There are
so many different ways Of using a
cane that a man doesn't know just
which way to guard against it. And
any man can use it. Nine men out Of
ten who carry revolvers couldn't hit
the side Of barn with them, and the
'holdups' know 1t, but it doesn't take
any skill or practice to learn to slam.
bang away with a walking stick
Columbus Dispatch
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04
There is also another reason why

There is also another reason why
it is important that Montana should
make her voice heard an early
date as to her choice for demo-
cratic candidate. That reason lies in
the fact that Monana democrats, at
least o5 per cent of them want to see
William J. Bryan named as the head
of our ticket They also know, or
ought to know, that last desperate
effort is being made by the great
monied interests, the frenzied fnaf-
ciers of Wall street, the trusts and
the law breaking corporations, to
head off, by hook or crook, Mr..
Bryan's nomination. They are try
ing to do this by bringing out favor
ite sons in all the states they can,
hoping by this means to get instruc-
tions to the delegates in his favor,
for the purpose of defeating instruct
ed delegates for Bryan. Where they
have no hope of getting delegations
opposed to Bryan they are pleading
for uninstructed delegations, in the
hope Of slipping in delegate or two
that they can control to vote against
| Bryan when the pinch comes. By
these devious means they hope to
get one-third of the delegates to
scatter their votes, SO as to prevent
a two-thirds majority for Bryan. In
view of these conditions, every state
that elects delegates strongly in
structed for Bryan makes this pro-
gram more difficult. Montana will
do that, anyway, but if it does II
early in the game its influence will
be greater.
For these reasons we would urge
on the national committeeman from
this state and the state democratic
committee the wisdom and advantage
iof calling the state convention to
send delegates to the national dem
ocratic convention at Denver at an
early date,
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04
The Statue Of Liberty.

II wonder if local mariners appre-
ciate the optical Illusion which the
statue Of Liberty presents to man
arriving in this port for the first time."
said the skipper Of an East Indian
tramp, who few days before had en-.
tered New York harbor upon his first
voyage here II saw the statue be-
fore got to the Narrows, and it SEEM
ed as if it were just about where
quarantine Is. Later the thing seem
ed about abeam of the XIII Won Kull.
It kept getting farther and farther
away, until finally wondered wheth
er l should ever bring it abeam. I
suppose its great height accounts for
this. New York Post
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04
Tho Prophetic Gift.

That there are persons today who
possess the somewhat uncanny gift
Of being able to predict future events
Is probably true. The wife of the late
Sir Richard Burton, the famous trav-
eler and linguist, not to mention other
instances of her weird gift. announc.
ed the very FIRST time she saw Burton,
at the time perfect stranger whom
she had met quite casually, that he
would be her husband. At the pres
ent moment, too, there Is said to be q
man who has manifested such an ex-
traordinary faculty Of predicting things
that are about to take place that q
number Of medical men have purchas-
ed the reversion Of his brain In order
that they may examine that organ aft.
er death to see If 1t shows any special
development 10 account for his won.
derful gift.-Grand Magazine.
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04
Last Sunday, February 2n

Last Sunday, February End, was
ground hog day and if that good old
legend holds good winter is over for
Fergus county, as old Sol did no,
get from behind the clouds long
enough to throw a shadow all day
Sunday. If Mr.. Ground Hogs tip
proves to be straight, Fergus county
is going to come through with very
little winter this year, there having
been no more than three or four
days OF zero weather up to this time,
All hope, however, that the winter
is not entirely over as lot of snow
is needed to make the crops and fur
nish moisture for stock raising the
next few months.
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04
MUST FIND NEW SLOGAN.

1t becomes more evident every day
that in the next campaign the repub-
lican orators and workers must hunt
up a new slogan. The old cry Of
an empty dinner pail under demo-
cratic rule and a full dinner pail un-
der republican rule has been drowned
by the wall of the hungry and unem-
ployed in hundred cities of the
land.
Not since 1884 have there been
so many workmen walking the streets
hunting vainly tor the employment
which means bread, fuel and clothing
for themselves and families. That
this state Of affairs is proving a
serious question is shown by the fol-
lowing editorial from the Springfield
(Mass.) Republicans:
"What to do for the unemployed
is question again presented in an
acute form pretty much all over the
country, after respite of 10 years
or more. The demonstration of the
workless at Boston, in imitation of
what was done in 1894, did not prove
very impressive, but the number out
of work in that city is large enough
to be no joke, and so it is of this
and Others cities. From Seattle
Wash, come reports of projected
demonstration Of 10000 idle men
against the city hail. Chicago now
claims to be harboring some 138,0OC
men out of work, most of whom are
without means of support-the as
sociated buildinc trades showing 49,
600 idle where year ago the de-
mand for labor exceeded the supply
There was parade the other day in
Cincinnati of thousands of unem-
ployed, who demanded work of the
city government. New York city's
workhouses are overcrowded Points
as wide apart as Jacksonville, Fla.
and Toledo, O., report measures be.
ing taken to provide work for tht
workless on public account"
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04

We would suggest that our Board
of County Commissioners set aside
liberal sum to be used as a pension
fund for acquitted murderers. This
particular class of citizens is grow
ing rapidly and inasmuch as they
usually are compelled to spend the
greater part of their money during
an annoying and distressful trial;
some provision should be made for
their future welfare and happiness.
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04

In the death of Daniel ]. Henness>
which occurred in Butte last week,
Montana loses her greatest merchant
and Butte one of her most public
Spirited and progressive citizens. AL
though ne was central figure in
the fierce political and commercial
hight which kept Butte in an uproar
Tor years, Mr.. Hennessy came ou,
with clean hands and with the re-
spect OF those who were opposed to
HIM IN the strife as we'll as the in
tense admiration of those Will,
whom he worked. All Butte mourns
his passing and expressions of re-
gret are heard in every part of the
state.
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04
EARLY STATE CONVENTION

Great Falls Tribune: The Gus
tom has been in Montana to hold
two state conventions in presi-
dental year. The convention for
nominating state officers is generally
held in September, which affords a
sufficient time before the November
election for state campaign. The
other state convention is charged
with the sole duty of selecting dele
gates to the presidential nominating
convention, which usually meets in
June or July, and in this state the
usual custom has been to call this
convention a few days or weeks be-
fore the national convention meets
1t is not good practice. It ought
to be corrected, and there are sound
and special reasons why this is a
good time to correct it by calling
the first state convention to meet at
an early date this year, say some
time in March.
The national democratic conven-
ton meets this year at Denver in
July. If the democratic local prim-
aries and county conventions are
called in June, or May, or even April,
in an ordinary season, it will find
the farmers ousy at their spring and
early summer owrk Oftentimes the
two or three days that would be
consumed in attending primary
election, and afterward in going to
county seat to attend county
convention, would at this season
when every day spent on the lant
counts, involve considerable money
sacrifice to the farmer. In March
he is, comparatively speaking, a
leisure. He has time to attend te
his political duties and go to the
primary, county and state conven
ton if need be, at the smallest cos
to himself. 1t is most importan
that the wishes of the rank and fiji,
of the democracy of the countr,
find ample expression this year il
selecting a presidential ticket to leae
the democracy in the coming cam
paign For that reason we urge al
early presidential delegate state con
vention.
Fergus County Democrat., 1908-02-04
WANT A COUNTY FAIR.

The sentiment among the business
men of Lewistown in favor of
county fair seems to be overwhelming
and there is now little doubt but that
all preliminary arrangements to that
end will practically be perfected
within a few months.
Having decided upon holding a
fair, it devolves upon the business
men of this city to see that it is a
success in every particular. 1t should
be such fair as will attract the peo-
pie from every part of the county
aid entertain and please them after
they have come.
Those who have had charge of the
fairs in the past have had to meet
almost insuperable obstacles in the
work of securing good attractions.
The long haul away from one of the
main lines of railroad has deferred
horsemen from bringing III their
racing stock and it has no less de.
tered high class entertainers from
making the trip to Lewistown.
Next fall this unfavorable feature
will be eliminated. Both the Mil
waukee and Billings & Northern
railroads will have been completed
through the. county, making it COM
paratively easy for people to come
to Lewistown from the east or west.
No doubt, train schedules and freigh,
and passenger rates will be arranged
80 as to give Lewistown every pos
sible advantage.
There is absolutely no reason why
Fergus county should not have a
county fair which will meet with the
entire approval of every person who
attends. This is one of the premier
stockgrowing, ranching and mining
counties of the Northwest. We should
easily be able to get up such dis
play in all divisions as will be a
credit to the county and to our pro-
gressive people. The fair association
SHOulu DC llDSldl III lIlC lIldllCI VI
prizes. Sums should be 5ffered which
make it some object on the part Of
the stockman, the poultry man, the
garden truck man, the grain grower,
the miner and the ladies who ex-
hibit specimens of their handicraft,
to arrange the best possible displays
There is one advantage to be de-
rived from a county fair which, like
all of the best things in life, cannot
be measured in paltry dollars and
cents.
1t brings people from all sections
Of the county together, enables them
to exchange practical ideas on prac-
tical topics. It throws together old
a.quaintances who, otherwise, would
meet but seldom, it promotes the
amenities, drives away dull care and
lines with light the clouds which
oftimes float across the horizon of
this wOrkaday life.