The Bon Homme County independent. [volume] (Tabor, S.D.) 1904-1913, 1908-10-22
A HUMOROUS SIDE
TO SOME WEDDINGS
Curious Scenes That One Par.
SON Has Witnessed--Fees
an Important Factor.

tally from that In every other mouse,
for, lnasmuch as the pastor Is a public
character. he and his are the property
of the congregation: n woe betide
the unhappy wight who hugs the fond
Illusion that his wife married him In
stead OF the parish Or that his children
can be secluded from the electric dazzle
beating around the manse! Uneasy
Hes the head which wears q minister's
btovepipe- Well, no: there's SO wide a
love behind 30 wide an interest. Ii the
uOorbeil jangles all day long IL opens on
faces beaming or hungry for help; IL
the pastoral meals must be left smok-
ing on the table day after day while
husband md wife hurry to the parlor
60 entertain by the hour, the visitor
often az not leaves something behind
to smoke pleasantly at another noon
tide meal says the Congregationalist.
Blu OF all these public comings and
goings none are quite SO full of laugh
ter, JOY and nnance as the weddings.
The parish wedding ie a tame aft
fair. rehearsais beforehand rounded
smoothly out by trained performers.
The groofns do drop the ring In esctatic
moments-a fine time did / ia poking
one from under a bookcase once while
the groom and his best man leered
sheepishly at my crimson c~ountenance;
do forget to clasp hands, and often
step on the bridal train at that crucial
second when the turn Is made aisle
ward. One unhappy creature pulled my
face all askew for n miserable mo-
ment by answering yes, sir, hank
you!" to the query: DC you take this
woman" A later bridegroom added,
at a private performance in my own
house, and mighty glad to get 'er, yer
bet"
The stranger In a strange town and
a strange ceremony furnishes the
comedy. The clergyman soon learns
the faltering steps on his porch. the
tumble mt his bell, the n~ervously
twisted hat, the shy pretense at some
other and different business; soon
turns confidently and Immediately to
h nearest street car post to discover
the half hid nutter OF bridal skirts.
Still such wisdom takes time, n ma
dame. during the first year OF our own
welded life turned three promising IS
couples from u door. Then came the
day of her eye opening.
/ was out of town and when Hattie
Parsons, a demure, beau-less, domesti-
Gated variety of damsel, appeared at 5
o'clock In the company of a young man
n asked for me, Madame assured her
that the minister's wife always does
just as we'll" a conviction which Hat
tie failed to share; and even at 6, de-
spite some added vehemence, desper-
ately denied. AZ z I burst through the
front door, glanced into the parlor, be-
held a new brown silk never yet seen
at church, gloves n hat to match,
seated close to a youth very black as
to coat, white as to tie and radiant as
TO patent leather. s
why" cried /, into madame's aston
ished ear, II didn't know Hattie Par
sons was getting married, or ever
thought OF It."
"How did you known" she gasped.
Since that day every youthful book
agent with the slightest trepidation of
manner Is bidden: Come back at 2
O'Clock, dol The minister will surely be
in Some conversations are uncom-
fortably thorough. ,
AS to these out-of-towners, the city
OF my bidding is full OF them. Situated
at the corner of two other states, II
proves a Gretna Green for all love-sick
ones. They run to II away from angered
parents, suspicious offspring, conven-
rionalities of church weddings-the
glory and the splendor, and the dear de-
light is, they run to us. IL adds ma
terially to our meager incomes.
The couples who took any thought for
the morrow. let alone the bridal day,
were scarce. An English pair from
a neighboring village decided on a mar
rage 'to parsons" followed by a jolli-
ficatfon in their own newly furnished
cottage Unfortunately they failed to
conlde In ''parson" and found him away
at conference. With horse and team
they few to the city while the wedding
guests voted the game amusing, even
with Hamlet left out and Mrs. Hamlet
left along with him. The Universalist
pastor was mot at home" the Advent
list ditto, the Baptist ditto, the Quaker
never married strangers, the Methodist
was holding a reception, and those
cleaning windows, those gayly troop
ing guests sent the timid seekers for
sanctihcation of their love into wilder
flight.
The rectory opened a h~ospitable door
on a beautiful and cordial face. EYES,"
declare the rectoress, "Mr. Brown has
just stepped over to the parish house"
AT the parish house a finally unearthed
janitor was sure he was at the church;
but the choir, just shelving the anthem,
though the manly voice or their clergy
men yet echoed in their ears. sent the
pilgrims to a new-made widow at the
south end OF the city. She stjlled her
weeping a moment to whisper that.
though his footsteps still lay damp
along her porch. Mr.. Brown was at the
north end. He wasn't.
AT 1850 a kind policeman assured a
discouraged and ~beraggled pair OF low
ers hat I "sat UP to ali sorts of on
a'rthly times o nights" The ben Jan
Rled angrily above my head, and I,
jumping out or my first whiff OF sleep,
growled, There! my Misunderstanding
was In my pre-nuptial days-"has for
gotten his Key again: i do, wish--there.
what n cross grained old sinner I amt"
So ] threw mp the shade and stood re-
vealed, amid the blaze of the street
light opposite, I'm a robe nerfectly APP
propriate-for nm Episcopal clergyman!
REV. Rassilikv-Rev. Bassiliky!"
walled a voice behind the smudge Of the
swift descending shade. Won't Yer
ple-e-se-e marry a pore young Teller as
cavn't git spliced nohow anyway" Ten
minutes later the ladv. a wife at last.
moaned gratefully. Thank God, the
worst Of II Is overt"
TIE fees are n source Of constant
pslpitations, sometimes Cf language.
sometimes OF cha~rin. for the minister
finds I'm them AL tho unAxnectednass
! md something of the excitement of a
gembisrs days. One pastoral brother
advised me tn keen In stock two va
rieties ~ certificates and discrimin-
ate. ] did, I handed over the 81 kind
to a H0-cent couple and bestowed pa