The semi-weekly messenger., 1908-01-21

dIouuu ueIc! Cdllcu huLpy A1Ou 1AC
| other side of the gate.
There's one right across the road,
but I'm not saying that she does her
duty by her children gadding around
as she does every day I'm the week"
Humpy took long look at the house
opposite and then crossed the street
and rang the bell. Again 1t was Mrs.
Mcclure who came TO The door. a1d.
not seeing parcel In his hand. she
broke out witA:
II paid dollar ten for a corset yes
terGay. and ii was 10 come up before
night. It's uot here yet and you tell
the girl who sold II 70 ME and gave
rle her soeGin promise that I'm get
ting dressed 10 waltz down there and
give her bit OF my mind"
I'm not IA parcel boy. ma'am," re-
piled Humpy.
NO: Then who are you"
Have you got a husband. ma'am"
81 have"
"Does he ever climb ladders|'
"He does. He'll climb anything from
glass Of beer to the steeple Of
church. He's been trying for the last
five years to climb into Office, but it
makes his head dizzy"
"Ma'am, | have to tell you-that is,
was sent here to say-that is''-
THAT is, that my man Joe is drunk
again and the police have got him this
time and will give him thirty days.
All right It was that Mcclure across
the street that sent you, and do you go
La1 xoII H. ooJr, Id
But, ma'am"-
Get move on your
Humpy moved. Half a block down
the street he stopped beside a carpen-
ter repairing a feLce and asked him If
there were any other McGuireS on the
street
about ten Others" was the reply.
TRY the next door"
1t was tried. Mrs. MCGUIRE came to
the door with a feather duster In her
hand and a scowl on her face and
wanted to know why Humpy was try
ing to pull the doorbell out by the
roots.
"You have got husband, haven't
you?" he queried in reply.
"You tmpudent sassbox, would I be
living with a man for the last twen-
ty years and he not my husband"
"Your husband went away this morn
ing feeling all right. didn't he?"
Humpy Gets Nervous.
"He did that How else should he
feel when he's got the best wife on the
street? What Go you stand there swal-
lowing your tongue for? Has my man
been throwing aDother car off the track
and dislocating the conductors shoul-
der? If he has, then he can pay his
own fine"
Madam. / regret to be the bearer
the-bearer''-
"And what is it that you are bear
ing? If it's the ice or milk bill. out
with it. I've got something to do be-
sides standing here Ginning with a
boy that can't speak English"
"Well, then, your husband fell from
a ladder down on Arch street and
broke his leg and has been sent to the
hospital
ooh, he has?' smiled the woman.
my son, step inside a minute. Do
you see that sleeping form on the
lounge there? That's what they calls
a recumbent attitude. That's the man
we have been talking about. That's
my husband. He was out on a spree
last night"
HUmpy turned to fee. but he was
not quite quick enough. he was hit On
the head with Il duster. and large and
liberal foot Helped him off the step.
The man who was renairing the fence
advised him to t-y three or four other
houses but the boy had become dis
couraged. He headed for home and
didn't stop until he got there. AS he
entered the house his mother asked:
"Why, Humpy, how does it happen
that you got out of school so early?
He explained, and when he had fin
iShed she said:
"Poor boy. you did not find the
right Mrs. Mcclure. | am the one.
and now If you will kindly step into
the wood shed with me We'll find out
who fell down ladder and who fell
up one" NJ. QUAD.