The Republican. [volume] (Oakland, Md.) 1877-current, 1908-07-30

HE I'll lDfD II ALONG AS TENDERLY AS IF
IT HAD BEEN A WALKING BABY.
to do a days work in an hour, and if
he twisted a bedstead out of shape or
broke all the legs off bureau he would
try to hold her to blame That night
she dreamed of household destruction
wholesale. She thought the gas meter
blew up, the water pipes burst and
that Mr.. BOwser smashed all the fur
niture and made bonfire in the back
yard. Next morning she threw out
hints that the enameling and other
things could wait until spring. but be
didn't take them. He donned his old
suit and went to work so quietly and
carefully that she was surprised.
At o'clock a man called and want
ed to know where Mr. BowSer's office
was, so that he could go over and see
him. Mr.. BOwser cleaned the bathtub
enamel off his fingers and went down
stairs. 1t was man that wanted to
Sell him new milk COW He was 90
ing on to state that it was a COW with
four legs, two horns, tail and would
give twelve quarts of milk a day, and
Mrs. Bowser was trembling in her
shoes when the reply came:
You are in the wrong house. We do
not buy either new milk cows or old
milk cows here"
But you are Mr.. Bowser?'
81 am"
"And yOu-you are always buying
Nothing doing, sir. This is my busy
day"
Just half an hour later and just when
Mrs. Bowser was expecting that Mr.
Bowser would get mad at the bathtub
and tear it out by the roots second
man called. His business was very
important and couldn't wait Mr. Bow
ser descended to find man that want
ed to sell him a half interest in a bal
loon. He had got as far as to say that
it was a balloon built on the lines of
crow and must prove great success
when he was halted with:
Excuse me. sir, but take no inter
est whatever in balloons. Perhaps the
butcher on the corner might invest"
But there's 100000 in this thing
for you" replied the man.
yes know, but don't care for it
Sorry that you went to the trouble of
calling. Good day"
When the balloon man reached the
gate he turned around and took a good
look at the house. and then he asked a
boy if Mr.. Bowser really lived there
Mrs. Bowser was tickled and yet anX-
iOus. She started to compliment Mr.
Bowser, but finally concluded not to.
The enameliug Of the tub had Just been
completed when the third caller show
ed up. He had just invented and APP
piled for a patent on volcano eXtin-
guisher. It was a simple but effectual
thing, consisting of an immense cast
iron cover. When a volcano burst forth.
300 men were to get grip on the cover
and place it over the crater and smoth-
er the flames. The inventor had al
ready correspondent with several gov
ernments and found that Italy alone
would pay S1.0O0,00O a year for the use
Of his device. He stood ready to guar
antee that he could choke old vesuvius
to death in thirty minutes, and then
what heat was left in her could be run
down into Naples in pipes and supply
the houses. He talked for six minutes
without break, and then as he paused
to rest his Adams apple Mr. Bowser
quietly replied:
TOO bad you called. have just
gone out of the volcano business. See
the plumber up the street"
But, my dear sir, had you In mind
when invented this eXtnguisher."
Eyes, but there's nothing doing"
81 was sure you would take a half
interest"
81 am very busy today--very busy.
The plumber Is no doubt the man you
want to see."
When the man got out he had a