davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

What's the matter with Johnson?" in
quires a Minnesota contemporary. Not a
single thing, he will keep nicely as a
Presidential prospect several years hence,
or z Vice Presidential prospect right now.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
Unique.

II have something novel in the way of
a melodTama.
State your case.
The blacksmith is a rascal while the
banker IS as honest as the day is long."
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
COO Ia Investlgatlon.

From the New York Commercial.
The publishers ask for bread. The all
puissant Speaker hands them a stone ia
the shape of threat to subpoena theml
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

Are there depths" moaned the pes
simist. TO which human deprsvity Will
not sink?"
There are responded the optimist
firmly. 4 never knew a man to root
habitually against the home team"
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
More Union Activity

From the Indianapolis News
No further criticism of the house for
idieness is possible. Yesterday it passed
over loo pension bills. Most Of these
We're introduced by the Congressional
Fence Builders Union,
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

The present Indefinite situation as 10 the
existence Of RaisOuli IS Gisconcerting. but
we need not despair. Remember how Gen.
Uribe-Uribe popped up after his long dis
appearance? Also Gen. Plug?
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

A contemporary carries department
headed Clarified Jokes" We are not
sure just what it means; but If it means
the jokes printed therein are only such
ones as have been able 70 pass muster in
some sort OF clearing house for funny
isms. we think 1t may be all right.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
Her Way OF Doing.

From the Atchison Globe.
When a woman buys something she
cannot really afford, she condones the
fault by doing without something she did
not intend TO buy. anyway.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

North Carolina paper wonders what Thomas
Jefferson would say. should he return TO earth to-
day. Just because We love the Charlotte Observer
50 we We suggest that Mr.. Jefferson would re.
affirm his remarks concerning the Mccklenburg
myth.-Wasllington Herald
You mean thing! We have just pointed
out for the equally mean Norfolk Vir-
giniau-PilOrs benefit that Col. jefferson
did not have before him half the evil
dence supporting the authenticity of the
MeCklenbuTg Declaration which is now
available.-ChaTlOtte Observer.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

Americans cultivate the European
aristocracy because they have been toe
busy 10 build up one like 1t for them
selves" says Nine Anna Gould. Build
down one like 1t, she means, perhaps.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

Frank Gould lays his troubles to his
money" says the Newport News Times
Herald At all events. the majority Of US
can prove il wasn't ours.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
An Explanation.

"Pa. what's a lucrative positon?"
The Job the country boy gets in the
grocery store when ne goes TO reside at
the county seat
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

"All I know is that the President IS
undoubtedly sincere in his declaration" q"
says Mr.. Nicholas Longwcrth, This con-
firms rather widespread suspicion that
all Mr. LongwoTth knows wouldn't fill
an exceptionally large library.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
Inevffnhie ns NeII - Fittinr

From the Indianapolis News
Besides, il is entirely fitting that the
Indiana legislature should have q marked
literary atmosphere
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
funCendO.

II think I'll take up boxing" said the
man, making a feeble clutch for the bar
check and missing IT,
do so, by all means advised the man
who had bought for the tenth consecutive
time 1T might possibly improve your
reach"
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
sanIe but DiRerent.

Genius must ever walk alone" sighed
the poet
you mean that genius. alone. must
ever walk Chuckled the magnate as he
whzzed by In his automobile.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

IF the President should send a message
% Congress advising It to adjourn. IL
would probably remain in session all sum
mer." says the Columbia state. Heavens!
what terrible suggestion!
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
In the Matter of Numbers.

Next to the sands on the seasho. and
the stars in the heavens the poems on
Compensation" seem 10 be most numer.
Gus.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
Inder the Knife

L suppose I am the first man 20 60
under the knife remarked Damocles.
II hate to originate such a bromide. but
somebody's got to do it,
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

New York's 400 has increased TO 1.10O. it
seems Evidently a lot Of folks have
''butted in" since Ward McAllister passed
to his reward
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
Has II Bad

From the Kansas City Star.
Prince Helie de Sagan has the worst
attack Of gold fever this country has seen
since 1S49.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
Unjust as Wen.

It is unreasonable 10 class the man who
will not borrow trouble with the one who
doesn't care.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

Miss Machszewsyczhow OF New
York. wants to change her name" says
a contemporary. All right; what is her
name, anyway?
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

People who do not believe in social
equality between the races in this coun-
try-and that means practically everybody
Of Anglo-Saxon persuasion-should not
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
H Needs n sunt

From the Houston Post
The paper trust doesn't need a probe
half as much as it needs a swat that VIII
smash II
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
New life IN II

From the New York World.
The second elective term movement
is getting its second breath.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

Judge Gray. OF Delaware, is said to hold
to the conviction that no man should
receive a larger salary than the President
OF the United States. we don't think 81
worth while for the judge to lose much
sleep for fear many of us ever will.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

Senator Money, of Mississippi, predicts
war with Japan. sooner or later "over
something" There is some consolation in
that. however: for a time it looked as If
we were 10 be forced into war with Japan
over nothing
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

a Massachusetts, town clerk complains
bitterly because he has issued only thirty
six dog licenses this year, as against 1856
last year. One by one the parties hard
hit by the late panic are bobbing up.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

take any sass from the republic OF San
Marino. That independent little nation is
about two miles square and has a stand
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
nndpfnR.

First OF May;
Moving day.
See the wise guys run away!
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

Gov. Hughes says the United States is filed
With men you cannot buy.-Washington Herald.
But he regrets that so few Of them
are elected to legislative offices, no
doubt.-Rochester Herald.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

The Augusta Chronicle is inclined % be critical
because voman's organization in Geotga first in
doTsed a certain candidate for Office and then en-.
deaTored 10 find out how he stands on certain vital
issues. The Chronicle. venerable and widely ex-
perienced, ought to know better than that; nobody
can explain Why women do some things that way.
though many people have tried.-Washington ID.
c. Herald.
The male prohibltionists have taken
the matter In hand and settled it. They
applied the yard stick hard and fast to
gubernatorial candidates and landed both
on the water wagon.-Augusta Chronicle.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

Oklahoma has prohibited the use Of wooden an
dians cigar signs. That may be all right as 1ar
as II goes. but what this country wants is law
that viii prohibit the use Of cabbage old rone and
excelsior as cigar hllers.-Washington Herald
That is certainly a cOnsummation that
is quite universally desired, but that is
not according TO the modus operandi of
the modern reformers along those lines.
II such law were proposed # would be
designed to affix a penalty for smoking
cigars with cabbage. old rope. and excel
sior as filters. The idea seems to be to
make life as gloomy and as miserable as
possible for the individual citizen, so that
he will be glad TO shuttle off" But the
removal of the wooden Indian signs
from the front OF the cigar stores must
relieve the noble red men of Oklahoma
from a tremendous burden Of wounded
race pride. The lawmakers Of the new
State are smoking up, all right.-New
Orleans World.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
PHILADELPHIA Is All Rinh, Z

1t is not always May-indeed, il is some
times Mae, and even Maye,
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01
TIT FOR TAT.

a Mr. Meal is running f0r mayor Of Harrisburg.
Pa II he is a square Meal We can see no obiec-
ti0u 70 hn.-Washingtcn Herald
HooTay for the Meal tlcket,-Cleveland
Leader.
The Washington herald., 1908-05-01

The Philadelphia Public Ledger is
somewhat upset about that city's repu-
tation abroad. It thinks Philadelphia has
rot been given a square deal by out
siders. and that ii is entitled to more
honorable mention among its neighbors
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18

an automobile drive. Uniform, dress B.
1890 p. m.-General Chaffee gives a
luncheon at the California club, for
which he has issued personal invita-
tions. Uniform, undress B.
4 to 6 p. m.-Reception a. Mr.. Min
er's to as many officers as may desire
to go. Uniform, undress B. Send
fourth division band to furnish music
1 p. m.-Entertainment of other half
of chief warrant and warrant officers,
repeating program of preceding day.
Wednesday, April 22. 9 a, m. to
noon-Ships of the first division open
to school children, those under years
accompanied by guardians. No other
visitors allowed during this time.
D. Nm.A Ball at Shriners' audito-
rum, uniform c, without swords or
BELTS All flag officers and their staffs
and all commanding officers will at
tend and twelve other officers from
each battleship and two from each
auxiliary. AS many more officers as
wish to do so may attend, If they can
be spared from duty. There will be
rooms provided for the night at the
hotel for the flag officers, seven men,
bers of their staffs and for twenty
commanding officers. Special trains
will take others back to ports. Ball
cars to take officers from ports to Los
Angeles for the ball.
Thursday, April 23-Automobile ride
in accordance with card invitations,
to Pasadena, with lunch at Maryland
hotel. Uniform undress "B;" leave
from Alexandria hotel, Los Angeles,
upon arrival of officers, who will leave
the ports by special trains about
a. m. Tour ends at p. m. at Alex
andria hotel.
The California club has issued cards
(not received on fleet yeti for a recep-
ton at 8 a. M, April 23, rendered by
members and ladies. Uniform will be
uniform &C" without swords or belts.
Friday, April 24-Entertainments by
the seaport towns; division command
ers to make such special arrangements
as may be necessary.
Dinner to twenty officers of first di-
vision by South Coast Yacht club, de-
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
THOMAS GIVES
FINAL ORDERS
ISSUES INSTRUCTIONS FOR
FLEET WEEK
DESlGNATEs UNIFORMS TO BE
WORN
Declares Automobile Ride Tuesday
Morning Obligatory, but Attend
ance at Other Affairs During
Week Is Optional
Special to The Herald.

Special to The Herald
SAN DIEGO, April 17.-Admiral
Thomas, commanding the Atlantic
fleet, issued the following orders to-
night for fleet week in Los Angeles:
u. S. e. CONNECTICUT, FLAG
SHIP, SAN DIEGO, April 17.-Sehed-
ule of entertainment Los Angeles and
adjacent ports, Saturday. April 1S:
Fleet arrives at San Pedro at D. m.
and anchors for the night and illum-
mate ships.
Receive visits from local authorities
Immediately after arrival.
Sunday, April 10: At a. m. second,
third and fourth divisions get under way
and proceed as follows:
Second division to Long Beach, third
division to Santa Monica, fourth di-
vision to Redondo, leaving at a. m.
and arriving not later than a.. m.,
If possible.
10 a. m.-Easter service in Los An
geles churches for officers and men.
Church parties leave ports at a. m.
in charge of officers; to march to
church anC return. Men whose names
are on liberty lists may fall out after
church. Liberty from 1 p. m. to Z
a. m. Dinner by Mr.. Drake,sby special
invitation.
Monday, April 20-Banquet to Off
GERS at Alexandria hotel, Los Angeles;
uniform, without swords or belts. Of
fjcers detailed for this dinner will carry
uniform undress B, to be worn at au-
tomobile ride Tuesday morning and at
reception at Mr.. Miners on Tuesday.
Attendance on auto ride is obligatory
but not to Mr.. Miners. Rooms at the
Alexandria hotel are provided for these
officers. The following officers will
attend the above:
First division--One flag officer, four
on staff of flag officer, four command
ing officers, four other officers.
Second division-One flag officer, two
on staff of flag officer, four COM
manding officers, four other officers.
Third division-No flag officers, four
commanding officers, eight other Of
ficers.
Fourth division-One flag officer, two
on staff of flag officer, four command
ing officers, eight other officers.
Auxlliaries-Four commanding Off
GERS, two other officers.
A total of fifty-seven in all.
Division commanders will see that
necessary officers are detailed from
their divisions. The senior officers of
the auxiliaries will arrange the detail
from those vessels.
The entertainment of the enlisted
men on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday
and Thursday is as laid down in the
printed programs. There will be lib
erty party of 200 men from each bat
tleship each day and auxiliaries in pro-
portion. Liberty parties may leave at
7 a. m. and return at a. m. the next
day. The uniform for all men going
ashore at any time is dress blue, ma
rines undress blue. Men who have
committed themselves on liberty since
leaving Hampton roads are not to go.
p. m.--Half the chief warrant and
warrant officers will be at landing,
where they will be met by committees
with carriages. Lunch, dinner, theater,
etc. Uniform, service dress in after
noon and frock coats in evening.
Tuesday, April 81:
10 q. m.-The fifty-seven officers who
attended the dinner will take part in
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
Pastor to Speak

Pastor to Speak
Saturday night Rev. o. w Andrews
OF Woodlawn M. e. church, South, will
speak at the Volunteer hall, 12S East
First street.
Cadet Special Called off
BY order of the commandant of the
Y. M. G. A. triangle cadets, the special
which was to have carried that orga-
nization to San Pedro this afternoon
has been called off.
Cigar Dealer Fined
Charged with running a handbook, A.
A. Hall, a cigar dealer at 230 West
cecond street, was fined $3.50 in Police
Justice Chambers court yesterday
afternoon. Hall was one of four cigar
dealers arrested Thursday afternoon.
City Club Meeting Postponed
The City club of Los Angeles has
postponed its weekly meeting and ban
quet at the Westminster hotel, which
was to have been held as usual at noon
today. On account of the arrival of
the fleet the club will not meet until
Saturday, April 25.
Fair Weather Promised Today
At the local office of the United States
weather bureau the local forecaster
predicts fair weather for the coming Of
the big fleet to San Pedro bay today.
No indications of rain were visible on
the newly made weather map yester-
day,
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
JUDGE GIVES NO HOPE
TO SUNDAY W0LATORS
Conviction o: Theatrical Ticket Seller
in Kansas City to Be Followed
by Prosecution of Many
Others

By Associated Press.
KANSAS CITY, April 17.-Judge
Wallace of the criminal court was well
pleased today at the first conviction
last night in 9atrical case growing
out of his campaign for the enforce
ment of the Sunday observance laws
of Missouri.
Judge Porterfeld's instructions to
the jury in the case of L. A. Keller,
ticket seller, convicted of violating
the Sunday labor statute by selling
tickets on Sunday, vindicates my po-
sition on the law and agrees with that
of our supreme court" said Judge
Wallace.
Judge Wallace had been quoted as
saying he would ask the grand Jury
to inquire into the work of the petit
jury that on Wednesday failed to find
verdict in a similar case, that Of
Thomas Taafe, a ticket seller.
"The defense offered no evidence that
the defendant, Taafe, did not work.
said Judge Wallace, land the state had
evidence that he I'd. Under these cir
cumstances it seems inexplicable how
the jury refused to return verdict for
conviction, unless some of them DELHI
erately refused to obey their oaths."
The cases of the other indicted theat-
rical men will be taken up without
delay, beginning next week, and ac-
cording to Judge Porterfield, to whose
division they have been transferred
upon order of the st,.te supreme court,
they will be pushed to an early con-
clusion.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
GOVERNOR HUGHES SIGNS
STRICT BANKING MEASURE
BY Associated Press.

BV Associated PreSs.
ALBANY, N. Y, April 17.-Governor
Eughes today signed one of the series
oe bills introduced by the assembly
committee on banks.
The new law makes it illegal for
officers or employees of a bank to make
or maintain deposits with other bank
ing institutions with the understand
ing or condition that the institution
receiving the deposits shall make an
advance or loan to an officer of a bank
making the deposit with it; also maxi
ing it unlawful for bank officers to
conceal from directors or treasurers of
their institutions discounts or loans
made by the institutions, or purchase
or sales of securities in periods between
the regular meetings of the boards of
directors or trustees, or for officers or
employees to receive certificates of de-
posit under agreement with the de-
positor that payment can be made in
ad-ance of maturity of such securities.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
ITALIAN LABoRERS DRIVEN
OUT OF TOWN BY A MOB
BY Associated Press.

BLOOMINGTON, ILL.,, April IT,
Thirty Italians who have been en-
ployed by the Illinois Central railroad
at Clinton were driven from town last
night by mob, who intimidated them
with fusillade of shots from guns and
revolvers.
There had been much indignation
against the Italians since Mayor Ed
mundson received a Black Hand letter
threatening his life. The Italians were
charged with its authorship. The
authorities have been unable to secure
any clew leading to the arrest of the
men composing the mob.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
KNIGHTS TEMPLAR HONOR
MEMORY OF DEPARTED

Funeral services for Ferd K. Rule
were held yesterday at the residence,
III West Washington street, with i'm
pressive ritual ceremony by Rev. Baker
p. Lee, rector of Christ Episcopal
church.
The knights Templar performed the
last sad rites at the Hollywood ceme-
terry, where the interment was held.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
Danger from Flood Passed

BY Associated Press
HELENA, Mont, April 17.-All dan
ger from the .lood which came as the
result of the bursting of Hauser lake
dam Tuesday is now regarded as past.
A careful survey o. the situation in
dicates that the losse9 will be lighter
by far tn at first estimated. The
Great Northern railroad Is the chief
sufferer, twenty-five miles Of its track
being washed out.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
Sl6.5O Hats $0.98
ails to he announced later.

tails to be announced later.
Reception at Friday Morning club
house, Figueroa street, Los Angeles,
to officers, 8 to 6 p. m, by ladies of
d. A. r. Each battleship will send at
least two commissioned officers and
two midshipmen. Uniform undress
"B" to attend this reception.
Saturday, April 23-Fleet sails for
Santa Barbara,
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
Mayor Will Welcome

Upon the dropping of the anchor Ad-
miral Thomas will lower his launch
and send 1t ashore to San Pedro, where
it will take Mayor Harper and the well
coming committee named by him on
board and transport them to the Con-
necticut flagship of the fleet. The
other members of the committee are
former Mayor M. p. Snyder, Joseph
Mesmer, Gen. John r. Matthews, Gen.
Adna r. Chaffee and J. G. Drake, for
merly a lieutenant In the navy and a
shipmate and friend of Admiral Thom-
as on the old Georgia in the Atlantic
service. Admiral Thomas is to be a
guest at the Drake home. This COM
mittee will leave the mayors office at
1880 today in an automobile for San
Pedro and will await the launch there.
Mayor Harper will not attempt the
trip with the official party on the Her
mosa, but will be represented there by
his brother.
After the welcome has been made
Mayor Harper and the committee Will
return on the admiraPs yacht. The
ships will remain in the harbor at
anchor without change until Sunday
morning, when, at 6 o'clock, they will
go in divisions to Long Beach, Redondo
and Santa Monica for the remainder or
their stay.
There will be no shore leave until
Monday morning at o'clock, and there
will be no visiting until Sunday morn
ing at 9 o'clock. The Sunday visiting
vii end at o'clock in the afternoon.
1e
Do not fail to visit HOTEL GREEN
III Pasadena, California.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
Alleges Breach of Promise
By Associated Press.

FRESNO, April 17.-Margaret E.
Jones of this city today brought suit
against Mortimer p. Barrett, wealthy
stockman, for $4,000. alleging breach of
promise to marry. 1t is understood
that Barrett was married when he first
began to pay attentions to the plaintiff,
but that he since secured a divorce
and renewed his marriage promises
after that time.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
EIGHT THOUSAND SAILORS
TO MARCH IN BAY CITY
By Associated Press.

SAN FRANCICSO, April 1.-THE
part that the Pacific fleet will play In
the naval events of May and in
this city was arranged today between
Rear Admiral Swinburne and Frank J.
Symmes, chairman of the committee on
reception; General Roster, grand mar
shal of the parade, and Captain Per-
kins. Thirty-six companies from the
Pacific fleet will join with the eight
companies from the Atlantic fleet,
swelling the number of bluejackets in
line to 5000.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
ATLANTIC FLEET
DUE HERE TODAY
WILL ANCHOR AT SAN PEDRO
AT 3 O'CLOCK
NIGHT ILLUMINATION ORDERED
BY METcALF
Brilliant Spectacle Saved at Last
Minute by Appeal to Secretary.
Mayor Harper to We'll
come Thomas
Continued from Page One,

program to have fleet remain San
Pedro Saturday night, Illuminated dur
ing evening, and not to disperse in
squadrons until early Sunday morning.
FRANK P, FLINT"
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18

The Herald will pay SO in cash TO any
one furnishing evidence that will lead TO
the arrest and conviction of any person
caught stealing copies OF The Herald from
the premises OF our patrons.
THE HERALD.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
THE CITY

Strangers are invited to visit the exhibits
Of California products at the Chamber OF
Commerce building. on Broadway. between
First and Second streets, where free intor-
nation will be given on all subjects perta'n'
ing to this sc .tion.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18

Black and white, 1s-button length silk 10
gloves; all Sizes heavy silk made with VAC
double tip fingers; regular $1.50 value at t../ "
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18

Do not fail to visit HOTEL GREEN
In Pasadena. California.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-04-18
Csc Taffeta Ribbon

About all plain shades in heavy, firm taffeta 11
ribbon; very desirable for bows hair ribbon AH
millinery etc. widths to in 25c quality at AOS /