The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-26

Of Barriers Burned Away" That's
the way the truly rich usually admin
| lister TO the wants of the truly poor"
These here play-like phianthropists
gimme a gnaWin' pain" said the House
Detective. Jest look at the bleat some
of them phony Socialists put up when
the cops gave 'em the hard ends of the
night sticks down to Union square af-
ter that bomb went off"
Il was just coming to that" said the
Hotel Clerk. That would have been
another forward step in the Uplifting
Cause, if the young party with the
bomb hadn't got so nervous and pre-
mature. You remember they advertised
IL as meeting of the unemployed. If
L was one of the unemployed I'd be too
busy looking for a job to attend. and if
had the job, 1 wouldn't have the time
either. because one of the worst things
| you can do to a job Is to go off on
busy Saturday afternoon and leave
it unattended. When you get back
you're liable to find the boss has put
on an understudy. But be that as it
may, they got together a large crowd.
AT the start-Off, everything looked
lovely. The heartless police were there
with their brutal clubs and several
hundred unemployed gentlemen and la
dies were starting up the 'Marseillaise'
in several hundred different KEYS and
one whOle-souled patriot had sacrificed
his last flannel undershirt so the in
spring red flag would be ready when
needed. But the bomb sort of precipi-
tated things. 1t was a quaint little
cOnceit made of rust wire nails and
broken lamp chimneys. flecked here and
there with nitro-glycerine. The MEM
Der of the Entertainment Committee
who had ii in charge made it accord
ing to one of Aunt Emmie Goldman's
favOrites recipes i'm the Household Hints
department of the Anarchists Home
Journal. But there must have been a
typographical error somewhere, or else
he stirred the gun cotton in the wronc
way. because just as he was getting
ready To touch her off and fill the
vicinity full of fine-cut cop and SHREDDED
bystander. she sort of exploded on her
own hook and before the police could
Teassemble the young gentleman they
had to borrow bucket. l understand
that some of our most prominent young
dilletante Socialists, belonging TO tn
best families, were very much put out
over the faux pas"
I dunno wOt FOrepaugh had TO do
with it, said the House Detective. but
/ do know if l wuz still on the force,
and had been down there, there'd abeen
one of them Busted Harp designs in
white rOsebuds sittin' on the pianoIa
in the front parlor of some amateur
Socialists late residence the next af-
ternOon.'
You don't want to be confusing the
nOn-prOfessional Radical leader with
the professional kind" said the Hotel
Clerk. There's a world of difference.
The professional is apt to be a gentle
man who formerly combined two call
-cigarmaking, or something like
that, in the daytime, and bar polishing
at night. Finding the strain was too
much for him, he has now given up the
day work. He has a constitutional ha-
tired for the capitalistic group, especial
ly such as are engaged in the manu-
facture of bath tubs and soap. He
feels that any man who shaves his
neck regularly is a foe to the common
people. He generally comes from some
where else and knows just as soon as
he lands that this country is wrong and
will have to be done over again right
away.
"On the other hand, the amateur was
born here, but can't remember any,
thing else of real Importance that the /
United States has been able to pull off !
He shows his adherence for the false !
conventions of the plutocratic breed |
collar buttons and long hair and living |
in a settlement club.
Il know a chap named Wilibert Scuy- !
ler-JOnes that used to be a shining
example of the class, which was pref
ty easy because Wilibert had been a
shine from birth. He wasn't very fer |
vent mentally, but the Socialists !
thought the world and all of him. even |
if he did have brain like a small five
cent sack of the mixed confetti. It /
seems that it counts them ten for game |
when they can snag off a convert with /
rich kinfolks, and hyphen for safety |
pin to hold the loose ends of his last |
name together. And Wilibert was right |
there with the rich relatives. / think |
maybe that was what helped to make |
a Socialist of him. You don't feel so |
poor if all your family is poor, too |
Wilibert was where he coGld smell |
wealth all the time. and yet pyer taste |
it. So he hoped in, and g'at patVoniz-