davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
PREPARED For Cont;noencies,

eve have lots of curious last re-
quests from patients who are about
to have operations performed" said
q nurse in the womens surgical ward
Of one Of the New York hospitals, "but
I thought about the last word had been
said on this subject one day last week
when one Of my patients before going
to the operating room called me 70 her
and asked me to write two postal
cards to her husband so that she might
sign them before the operation. One
was to read, My dear husband, the
operation was at 10 o'clock this morn
ing, and 1 am getting along fne' The
other one was: My dear husband, the
operation was at 10 o'clock this morn
ing, and I am sorry to say I died.
From your loving wife New York
Times.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03

Martha, endeavoring to instruct a
would be housekeeper in the mysteries
Of pudding making, was overheard.
eyer jes' takes some bread en-
But how much bread, MarthaT"
ooh, jes' what yer needs, Miss Min.
en- den yer puts yo' milk on it,
And how much milk, Martha?
"Well, yer mus use yer Judgment
bout dat, Miss Min"
"But I haven't any judgment, Mar
tha."
"Well, de Lord hep yer, Miss Min,
cause I cant."-Travel Magazine.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Mark Twain cauahA 0ut.

A poet, pair Of trousers across his
knee, sat in his attic trying to thread
Z needle.
''The proper way" he said, 'fs to
hold the thread still and push the nee
die toward it or to hold the needle still
and push the thread toward 1t. Mark
Twain says both ways are right. Then
he says they are both wrong"
Taking down The Prince and the
Pauper," the poet read:
He did as men have always done
and probably always will do to the
end Of time-held the needle still and
tried to thrust the thread through the
eye. which is the opposite Of a wo-
mans way"
Then the poet. taking down "Huckle-
berry Finn" read:
Bless you, child, when you set
out to thread needle don't hold the
thread still and fetch the needle I'D to
it. Hold the needle still and poke the
thread at it. That's the way a wo-
man most always does, but a man Al
ways does t'other way"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Explosive Diamonds.

A curious fact about diamonds Il
that it is not uncommon for the crys-
tails to explode as soon as they ara
brought up from the mine. Sometimes
they have burst in the pockets or the
warm hands Of miners. due to the ct.
feet Of increased temperature. Large
stones are more likely to do this than
small ones. Valuable stones have been
destroyed in this way. To safeguard
them some dealers place large dia.
nonds in raw potatoes for safe trans.
port from South Africa.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Sweet Revenge.

Mrs. Shopper (after inspecting every
thing in the store)-I don't see any
thing here that suits me. suppose I
may as we'll so down to Stacys' and see
what they have. They usually have
a good assortment
Salesman-Here's a card Of one OF
their statesmen. Won't you kindly ask
for him?
Mrs. Shopper - All! A friend OF
yours, presume?
Salesman-No. madam, he has owed
me $40 for the past three years.
Puck.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Talking Down.

The superintendent Of Sunday
school class in Philadelphia recently
called upon visitor to SAY few
words" to the class. the members Of
which are mostly children of tender
age.
The visitor. speaker well known
for his verbose and cfrcumlocutory
mode Of speech. began his address a.
follows:
This morning. children. l purpose
to offer you an epitome Of the life Of
ST Paul 1t may be perhaps that
there are among you some too young
to grasp the meaning of the word
epitome 'Epitome.' children. is In
It's Specification synonymous with sy'
nopsis "-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Her Tonoue,

They were talking Of figures Of
speech.
Have you ever noticed" said one,
''how fond people are of vegetable met
aphors when they are dealing with a
woman? Her cheeks are roses her
lips are Cherry her hands are always
lily hands, her mouth is a rosebud.
her complexion is like a peach and
her breath is fragrant as honey
suckle.'"
you've forgotten one" said the
cynic."
Whats that?"
"Her tongue. 1t is scarlet runner"
Exchange.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Highly Practical.

Highly PrActIcAi.
Your business college for young Ia
dies seems to be all right"
ut is all right"
do you give the girls good practi-
cal business training?'
TN reply to that question can only
say that 60 per cent Of our graduates
marry their employers the first year"
Louisville Courier Journal.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Shameless.

Persons belonging to the higher
walks of life are to be seen promenad-
ing In short jackets and chimney pot
hats without the slightest symptom Of
awkwardness or shame.-London Tai
lor and Cutter
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03

What is the matter with Mrs. Spicy7
| saw her sitting on her porch as ]
came by gritting her teeth and looking
dsggers into vacancy"
Her husband is q half hour late.
and she is giving him absent treat
ment."-Chicago Journal.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Nonreversibie.

Lang-Didn't you tell me that yeu
made yourself solid with Mrs. Vaae
by asking her il she was herself or
her daughter-couldn't tell them apart,
and so on?
Strang-I did. What about it?
Lang-Why. l tried the same gag
with the daughter. and it didn't 60
for a cent-Boston Transcript
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03

III was to commit suicide at sea,"
said Weary Walker as he shifted the
hay band On his left foot, It'd jump
from tn bow of tn boat"
IN why not from tn sternY' que
ried Limpy Lannigan.
IF I jumped from tn stern" said
Weary. II couldn't avoid tn washw-
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
To Borrow.

Grimsey-What is the psychological
moment? Cholley-It is when you get
a tip on dead sure thing and do not
happen to have the money to back e
up.-New Orleans World
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Cailad thu Turn.

whats the old lady doing nowf'
asked the old stocking in the work
basket
"She's getting out her needle aoo
yarn" replied the scissors.
swell. WELL" exclaimed the stocking,
"Pl be darned. Prsss.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Took the Cue.

Now" said the teacher, who had
been describing the habits Of bears,
''what is the f1ercest animal IN the
polar regions, johnny
"Why-er-er." stammered Johnny.
Come. don't you remember? Ths
por"-
''Oh, sure; the polecatT-PhiladeA.
phia Press.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
A Pointer.

"You can always tell an actor whose
season has not been prosperous" said
Mr.. Stormington Barnes
"How?"
"He won't talk with you five min
utes without saying that the public
doesn't appreciate art" -Washinstou
Star.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Riaht on the Job.

Indignant Citizen Ito Office boy
Your COMPOUNDED paper had an out
rageous attack on me this morning,
and Office Boy (briskly) -Yessir.
How many copies will you have?
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
Excelsior.

Excelsior.
Cncle-And what will you do when
you are man, Tommy? Tommy
l am going to grow beard. Uncle
Why? Tommy-Because then I won't
have nearly so much face to wash
Harper's Weekly.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
You'vs Met Him.

''How do you like your new neigh
bor?"
"Oh, he's the kind Of man that saves
his longest story to tell while we are
holding the front door open for him
to 60"
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
GETTING Personal.

How does man get game leE,'
pa?"
well. you see''-
is 1t by getting into q game and
having it pulled %'-New York Press.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03
An ExpIanatien.

Little Dot-Mamma. / was playing
with your best tea set while you were
away. and when you bring It out Tor
company you'll be shocked. cause
youll think one Of the cups has hz1r
in it, but it isn't q hair. Mamma
What is it? Little Dot-It's only .
Enthusiastically
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03

Fortune displays our virtues and our
vices as light makes all objects appar-
ent.-La Rochefoucauld.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03

An ugly criticism makes more noise
taaa Z good book.-Talsyyand.
The Newport miner. [volume] (Newport, Wash.) 1899-current, 1908-12-03

Kodesty. b only another name ter
Dolf knowledge-Hare.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
PLUG HATS OF JAPAN.
cherished Tiles Of the Vintage Of Fifty
Years AGO.

cherished Tiles Of the Vintage Of Fifty
Years Ago.
There is one sight which you must
not miss when you go to Tokyo" said
the seasoned traveller to a New York
Sun reporter. "That is the rare dis
play Of anthropoiogical plug hats.
Some people arrange to get to Japan
/ In cherry blossom season, and others
want to get there In time to receive an
Invitation to the emperor's garden par
ty in chrysanthemum time, but take
the tip of one who has batted about
the world considerably and land in
Tokyo either on New Years day or on
the emperor's birthday. On both you
can see something unique in the lines
Of headgear.
when Japan began to get civilized
she bought all the accessories Of civ
ilization that England did not want
any more. England sold her old fash
Toned, cut of date, narrow gauge rail-
road stock, antiquated tram cars and
other secondhand junk. fncluding the
then current styles Of plug hat.
"The tile Of those days has remain
ed the ruling fashion in Japan up to
1.-THE present Japan may build Dread
noughts, but the plug hat Of fifty
years ago still reigns supreme.
"Only on such ceremonious occasions
as the New Years festivities, the en-
peror's birthday or possibly the racing
meets at Negishi, near Yokohama, does
the japanese gentleman bring forth
from his camphor wood chest his plug
hat, heritage from his forefathers.
1t may be warped with twenty sum
mers, damp or green with the shine Of
antiquity, but that matters nothing.
"Once this superstructure of his
wrinkled frock coat and bagged trou-
sers Is added the Japanese gentleman
feels that no dignity short of decora-
ton Of the Order of the Rising Sun
can be added to his person That
browning glory of plug hat may set
tie around his ears or 1t may perch
upon his head like half a peanut shell,
but no matter. 1t is the hat of civiliza-
ton and the badge of responsibility.
"He trots out of his house looking
like one of the ancient daimios, stiff
with the dignity of two swords. All
that fearful day he wears this hat Of
ancient vintage like a crown, and in
the end he slows it away in his damp
proof chest, awaiting another festal
occasion or held as an asset in his es-
tate after DEATH"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
Declared Insane.

A sheriff's jury legally declared
Walter 3. Biddle, who with Lem
uel Butler, was found unconscious
in a room in the BULBS Head Hotel
on February Is, to be insane.
Biddle is now at Farnhurst and
Butler is dead. The men, one Of
whom lived at Chrlstiana and the
other at Bear station, went to vii.
mington on the night of February
Ia and registered at the BULBS
Head Hotel. The following day
they were found unconscious in
their room from the effects of gas,
which was escaping from an open
jet. They lay insensible for long
time in the Homeopathic Hospital
and Butler failed to recover.
Biddle recovered but showed signs
of insanity and was committed to
the insane hospital at Farnhurst.
The insane man has wife and
three children.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
AN INDIAN GREETING.
The salutation Canadian Heard on
the Columbia River.

The Salutation q Canadian Heard on
the Columbia River.
Telling about the Indians Of the Pa
cific coast as he found them in 1916,
Paul Kane, the Canadian artist, tried
to give an idea of their language as he
found it at that time. The example
which he quotes would have delighted
Max Muller, and 1t may interest some
readers in this country. In his WAN
derings of an Artist" he seems not to
recall any particular individual Of the
name of Clark who might have i'm
pressed the Indians of the Columbia
river, but American readers will at
once think of the comrade of Major
Lewis in the famous expedition Of
1903.
! would willingly give specimen of
the barbarous language of this people
were it possible to represent by any
combination Of our alphabet the hor-
rible, harsh, spluttering sounds which
proceed from their threats, apparently
unguided either by the tongue or lip,
says Mr.. Kane. 1t is so difficult to ac-
4uAAC a AdStCAJ VI tue1K Language ludL
none have been able to attain it ex-
cept those who have been born among
them.
They have, however, by their inter-
course with the English and French
traders succeeded In amalgamating
after fashion some words of each of
these tongues with their own and in
forming a sort of patois. barbarous
enough certainly, but still sufficient to
enable them to communicate with the
traders.
This patois / was enabled after some
short time to acquire and could con-
verse with most Of the chiefs with toll
cradle ease.
Their common salutation Is 'sClak-hoh-
ah-yah," originating. as believe, In
their ancestors having heard in the
early days Of the fur trade gentle
man named Clark frequently addressed
by his friends. "Clark. how are your"
This salutation is now applied to ev-
cry white man, for their own language
affords no appropriate expression
Minneapolis Journal.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22

1t is impossible for any drag to digest food
without the aid Of the stomach. Man cannot do
natures work-he can only assist her. and anv
concern claiming that they have remedy that
will digest food without the aid of the stomach.
thereby allowing the stomach to lay idle and
rest, are claiming the impossible. All remedies
for stomach troubles should be given with the
sole purpose Of aiding nature and enabling the
stomach TODD its own work. One Of the best
Stomach Specialists in the U. s. wrote the pre-
scription from which Rydaies. Stomach Tablets
are made and they enable the stomach to do its
own work. Two sizes. 25c and SO cents. Eli T.
Reynolds.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
STUNTS S.
By A STAR BoARDER.
WRITTEN Voa THE MIDIAsD JoUnEAL.

The hand of death probably gives the sinner a
kick.
A heavy purse causes light heart
Men who shake in their boots are usually on
their uppers.
No man climbs the ladder Of fame with his
hands in bis pocket.
Don't stoop to pick up your sorrows, pile up
your joys
There is a vast difference between loafer and
hanger on. One must do the latter to win
success.
Pull for the shore to get washed high and dry.
L If love predominated as much as hot air how
much happier we won be.
Weeds can be smoked IN the pipe OF peace.
Some pigs are mightier than the pen.
IT'S betterto be soft Drained fool than hard
hearted wretch.
In the upper crust of society so many people
like to have their fingers in the pie.
Men soak their troubles in booze which only
causes them to swell.
Success never smote one by the back of the
hand.
One pull can make graft.
Drink makes thick tongue and thin purse.
Sow wild oats and you will reap with thresh-
ing machine.
One can't make poor mouth and keep stiff
upper lip.
Ability knocks oftener than luck Pick your
friends not crows.
Work is~a tonic.
Money does notsmake money as fast as brains
make 1t.
Men whodrink from the cup of sorrow frequent
y thirst for blood
The song of the Ninety and Nine has made men
seek the Pearl of great price.
smooth tongue is often rough.
To the Christian every day will be pay day by
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
A Boy on cIeraymen.

Bishop Potter at an ecclesiastical
dinner in New York one time read a
Cooperstown schoolboy's essay on
"Clergymen." The essay, which Great.
ed much amusement, was as follows:
There are. three kinds Of clergymen
bishups recters and curats. the bishups
tells the recters to work and the curats
have to do II. curat is a thin mar
ried man but when he is recter he
gets fuller and can preach longer ser
mons and becums good msn."-Wash.
ington Star.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
Property Transfers.

Clarence Il. Cole and wife to
William II. Brown, property in
Seventh district, 81, 400.
Absalom Hyland, of Baltimore,
to Sara 3. and Laura E. Hyland,
of Baltimore, d acre property in
Elk Neck, 5000.
Eleanor Taylor and others to Ed
ward Jackson, I5 acre property in
Seventh district, 81 800.
Mutual Building Association to
Union A. M. E. Church, property
at Chesapeake City, $500.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
A Californian's Luck

"The luckiest day of my life
was when | bought a box of Buck
lens Arnica Salve," writes Charles
F. Budahn, Of Tracy, California.
"Two 25c. boxes cured me of an
annoying case of itching piles,
which had troubled me for years
and that yielded to no other treat.
ment.' Sold under guarantee at
Eli T. Reynolds drug store.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
PENNSYLVANIA RAILROAD
RulIetIn.
The SUMMER VACATION GUIDE.

The summer vacation is the bright spot in the dull
tine of the years work. breaks the monotony daily
round and cheers and for the
America abounds with delightful in val
leys mountain beside the Atlantic line
from Labrador Cape Haeas greatest
of resorts devoted entirely to the pursuit of pleasure
health in the world.
One may purchase from Pennsylvania Railroad Ticket
Agents. excursion tickets to eight hundred of
Sorts covering all the desirable Places the
bays of Newfoundland to the GENTLE sandy slopes vr
gna beaches from the White Mountains New Hampshire
to the Cumberland Mountains of Tennessee of
Canada along theshores of the the Great
Lakes.
The famous seacoast resorts of New City,
Cape May, Wildwood Ocean City, Sea Isle City, Asbury Park
Long Branch Spring Lake. Seaside Park Beach
Others well known that description superAuous-
among the most popular and the most easily accessible
in the country.
The Pennsylvania Railroad Summer Excursion Book, to
be obtained of Ticket Agents copy or of the
General Passenger Agent Philadelphia by mail postpaid for
% CENTS describes them all gives the stopover
privileges allowed on tickets.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
Valued Same as Gold.

B. G.. Stewart, merchant of
Cedar View, Miss, says: 81 tell
my customers when they bny a
box of DR.. Kings New Life Pills
they get the worth of that much
gold in weight, if afflicted with con
stipation, malaria or biliousness. y
Sold under guarantee at Eli T.
Reynolds drug store. 25c.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
Highway Rakinu.

When rocks are raked out Of the
roadways they should be gathered up
and hauled away. Too often they are
leff beside the wheel rut, where pass
Ing travel works them back into the
road or into the ditch, only to be
handled over again. They should be
deposited In piles outside the Travelled
way. put upon the road location eSd
later used In drainage work.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22

On June I. under the Carey act. 80.
acres of irrigable land will be thrown
open to homesteaders at Twin Falls,
Idaho. Under the Carey law public lands
in the aridregion are reclaimed by private
enterprise under the immediate super
vision Of the government, which fixed
the price the settlers must pay. aud. be.
sides, iuspects the dams and canals to
insure stability.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
MARRIAGE Licenses.

Harvey M. Scott, OF the Fourth
district, and Lily J. Price, of
Providence.
Samuel Willard Reed and Linda
M. Lewis, both of Chesapeake
City.
Shannon Samuel Forsythe and
Lily May Parson, both of Havre de
Grace.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22
BIG ROAD PROBLEM.
Prevention Of Damaging Hard
Highways by Automobiles.
THE EFFECT OF TWO TIRES.

@s'Sst sae5StSe sttsSh y
the Iron Improves - International
Congress Of Highway Engineers
VIII Discuss the Issue.
Few would think that the soft pneu-
matte tire Of the whizzing automobile
could so shorten the life Of the mac
adam roads as to absorb the attention
Of highway engineers Of every civilized
country Of the globe, yet they are do
ing an incredible amount Of damage
daily to rock surfaced highways, and
France has called an international con-
gress Of highway engineers at Paris
on Oct. II to discuss this latest and
most startling road problem.
To understand how the broad, soft
rubber tires Of the modern gasoline
propelled juggernaut kills the roads
which iron tired wagons improve one
must have at least an inkling Of the
methods adopted by Tresauget Of Ii
moges and Macadam of Ayrshire when
the so called modern first. rock sur
faced highways were planned and put
down. Macadam figured that the con-
slant passing of iron tired wagons
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-05-22

Knowing that some people say too much we
viii close with the following remark Rydale's
Cough Elixir is Guaranteed under the u s Pure
Food and Drug Law SERIAL number 2li9l to con
tain neither Morphine. Opium. hloroIorm moi
opIates Of any kind. and to be absolutely harm.
less. Eli T. Reynolds.
Der Sonntagsbote. (Milwaukee, Wis.) 1906-1912, 1908-09-20

6srt Sol. ao3sm, glopniifer
Gorrelponhsui, Gbicago, 3D.. fdrsb
uus Jolgsntss: sd arbeiie ben game
5en Tag. an meinsr Sbrei5maihin
iten6, unp lit oard, ben Ndngel an
9speaunq an 4ppetitIoFaieu Gao uns
perbaulthteit. gldb0sm i'd mehrere
Gortsn pulDer uno Biuen Deriudt
bate, nuroe msine Acknowledgement
aui IriHer's 4merican Glirir Of Bit
ter Wine geIenii. SH einigsu Sassu
isar iih Der Appetit nieoer eth uHt
itbi lam To ales ellen. gs III gepiB
meine gilihi. basislbe allen iolden.
bic On a%ppsliNoisteit Ieibsn. gu ems
piebItu.~ 9euls, neI6e cine Fbenot
9ebeuBDsiie fiihrsn. fn0 Oft NIT I'M
OeroauIibleii. 8eritopfunq Il. dnosrsn
5tgpierigititsn geplogt. Sriuers
Qmet0an Glirir Of Bitter @ine 1T
Ods ttn3iat 6silm.ttel FIR tislelben.
IS nimulirt DE 9eroauungsoreaue sl
elmer reaertu Qcifoitis uuo erbdlt Die
isl6tn Hart uuo traffic. @ebrauten
Sic Is In alien 9%rdnlbeiten 0es Ulds
gems uno Der einsepsioe. 9n 4po.
tbsisn. 5oi. 9riusr. no. G16-622
9. aibIauo aDs. Gbita9p. 81.
Der Sonntagsbote. (Milwaukee, Wis.) 1906-1912, 1908-09-20
@tuut a%Utsruaupt.

1en nunme6g D~oriiessnotn oft
rinen geri6ten 3uiolst feai F6 oas
aeialtat Der ilr5liheH 9rImdrDa9l,
Eoneit bic gonoi0aieH fiji ben Bun
0tslslat in bt;rodt i0mmeu. aui re-
publitoniiaer 5st9 Die iolgi: Siss
pbenfon 56843: Scot. AZ. 463; nc
Severn. ~, 041; 6atloH. 5000. Ste
pbtRioa's glnralitds beIdufi iid aIio
0uf $500. 4ui Dem 0emoiruii den
zidst cat H6 0sr 5ie8 lss 5sHatseaHs
Diodten Zeal 8ro.pH BON Wauiau ubtr
isinen Dlifpouieer Gpp0usn.en Wi. u
6Dnt ais Elm acknowledgement egDieisn,
inotm grolDa cine gluraliidi Don -.
4I3 Giimmsn CAT. SIN gaHssn srbieli
q "a ass essen 0oBt's 12.075 StIms
men. Inter ben @dnoioaten iur bic
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bibis, lBosm A6botl nur nit oem az
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SEMEN gegusr @sgo.s bsTtgis. Der
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