The Redwood gazette. [volume] (Redwood Falls, Minn.) 1873-1940, 1908-01-08

Tvs FRENCH leCe, MIS-. hOUluSOH . lldi-
ian musicale or Mrs. John @. Smiths
Japanese lawn party. Oh, he's gen.
ius-our society editor"
'You don't say"
s.Yes. The paper simply couldn't ex-
ist without him"
never told me anything about him..
unused the caller.
.Oh. you know the colonel. do you"
asked Blake.
eyes, we're what | might call slight
ly acquainted. / had little business
transaction with him the other day."
'Sold you a gold brick, | suppose.
and Barney winked humorously at the
rest of the staff.
"Don't know yet whether it will turn
out to be gold brick or not. Reckon
I shan't worry any if it does. I've in
vested in gold bricks before, and the
way l figure it it's nobody's business
but my own if do it again"
f "Oh. | see,'' said Barney smoothly.
"a tri1e touchy on the gold brick ques-
ton, eh, Mr.-er-Hayseed. is it?'
mot quite. Hayden happens to be
my name Didn't make quite as slick
a guess as you did on the Horace. But
go ahead and call me Hayseed if you
like. You can remember that name
better than Hayden probably, and
guess it fits me about as well as the
other, anyhow. Don't it strike you
that wayW
ooh, no, you're no hayseed! You're
right from Chicago or New York city
anybody could tell that from the cut
of your jib!' And Barney again pass
ed the wink to the others, who all felt
in duty bound to roar at the managing
EDITORS wit.
mice, genial staff you've got. Chuck
full of fun, amt they? | hope they're
not laughing at me. Hain't got a
please Kick Me- sign pinned to my
back, have II"
"Thats all right. Uncle Horace"
purred Barney. Don't go to getting
excited The boys are just spelling
for a little fun-been working under
steam pressure today-but none of
them would ever be guilty of-er-by
George, they have, just the same! But
it doesn't read Please Kick Me- it
says We're From the Farm And if
l only knew the deep dyed villain who
pinned it on you I'd discharge him
this INSTANCES, sir, this very in
stant-and I'd tell him not to come
around again until tomorrow morn
ing" he added in a stage whisper as
he stepped around behind the rural
looking visitor and removed the Of
Tending sign, deftly replacing it by an
other handed him by one of the crowd,
reading, ''Turnips For Salev'
s'There; that looks BETTER" observed
Barney, at which everybody roared
promptly once more.
"Not quite so much levity, boys, .
said Barney reproyingly. 81 am going
| to show our frienl here through the
Argus establishment, and l want to
see how well you can behave while
Biff!
A big wad OF paper came sailing
ear of the caller.
'That was orr baseball editor who
did that" explained Barney coolly.
''Force of habit, l suppose. He prob
ably imagined he was throwing a ball
at first base. Don't let that happen
again. Higgirs.'
Gail right. sir" glibly responded the
young man who had thrown the pa
per. Mistake, anyhow. l was aim
ing at the wastebasket."
"Well, seeing you've apologized, it is
all right" said Barney, with mock
solemnity.
"Now. Mr.. Hayseed-l should say
Hayden-you have already been intro
duced to our baseball and society edi
tors, and if you will cast your optics
over the rest Of the collection of gen
fuses before you l will enlighten you
as to their duties, SO that when you &c
back to the farm you will understand
the secret Of the Argus success in
gathering and disseminating the daily
news of the entire world, including the
city and county Of Boomopolis.
THE exceedingly tall, thin young
man with the short hair and promi
nent ears is Mr.. Perkins, our secret
service reporter and war correspond
] ent. His build, as you will notice, fits
him admirably for the position. He is
so thin he can crawl over a transom
without the slightest difficulty
''You don't say!'
Fact l assure you. And that is
why thin man has a marked adyan.
tage over 200 FOUNDER 1t requires
less gas to carry him, and if he falls
from balloon it doesn't muss him up
so much as it would a fat man. there
by effecting big saving in doctors
bills for repairing broken ribs, etc."
II see. Quite an idea, that"
Eyes, and, besides, a thin man oc-
cupies less space and leaves more room
in the basket Of the balloon for the
wireless message apparatus. You see
as fast as the war correspondent in a
balloon gets message ready to send