The bee. (Earlington, Ky.) 1889-19??, 1908-07-30
DESPERATE
Rem EDlES

DIV 10 mChtdtlJ uOihb hci 1cNCho.
Il thought she had st. vitus' dance"
said her friend
well, there is a great family re-
semblance," admitted Miss Heron,
but Just notice the intent look in her
eyes. / know the symptoms; I'VE
done those sevens' in bed and In ele-
waited cars and on street corners"
you belong TO gymnestic dancing
classi" exclaimed her friend in tones
of surprise.
Yes, and so will you before long,
so don't look so Mortified"
Il can't imagine myself doing any
thing $3.50"
"Undignified," said Miss Heron.
Neither could / when Ida preached
the subject to me. thought she had
taken leave Of her senses. pointed
out that dancing-even plain, ordinary
dancing-was not for me, who had
plenty OF gray hairs and more than
enough avoirdupois, and the gymnas-
tic dancing was entirely out Of the
question. The name, somehow, makes
one think of ground and lofty tum-
bling and all sorts of queer things like
that, doesn't .it7"
'It does, indeed" said her friend.
Il steadfastly refused to even think
of IT," Miss Heron went on, but after
Ida had pointed out, politely but en-
phatically, that embonpoint Of the
worst kind-the hippy kind-had laid
its deadly hand upon me, and after
she had skillfuIly aimed a few more
shots at my growing infirmities, !
gave in to the extent Of promising to
go and look on.
well, she who looks is lost i'm
mediately got a suit, pretty one, and
now you should hear the compliments
] get on my figurel To keep myself
from becoming conceited / have every
once in a while to remember that
when I appeared in the striped red
and yellow horror they hand out to
the defenseless tourist who goes bath
ing at the seashore had no bouquets
thrown at me-Quite the contrary. So
l give the suit its due.
THE first lesson was the buck and
anu WIFE, DOC6n I lnol oOAhN INV .
vaudeville number? II put on the
stage as performed at the first lesson
it would surely make the biggest kind
of hit.
Il never knew what exercise was
until l tried to make my brains and
eyes and feet move at the same time.
gave up my arms in despair. All l
know about them is that they are sure
to be the other way, whatever the
right way is. II is a little like the
time we used to have when We were
children and rubbed one hand up and
the other down. 44..irg
Last lesson we had the flower fig
ure We call It the floor figure, be-
cause we are on the floor good deal
Of the time. Even the very dignified
girl next to me toppled over, But she
didn't care, not a bit; she hadn't
time. She scrambled TO her knee and
began making circles with her arms
and pivoting around her waist, trying
desperately TO catch UP.
"As for me. when we we're supposed
to touch the floor with our foreheads
could only elongate my neck like a
turtle. But I'm quite flexible now.
can get within a yard OF the goal.
Stu, that flower figure nearly did
me up. certainly thought ] never
could go upstairs or downstairs
again"
We'll, don't exactly see where the
limbsring process comes in," said her
friend.
Neither did for a while. But you
should see me now. I'm a perfect
fairy. I'm going to do the buck and
wing at Julia's party.
mo, won't invite you to our class
for a while. I'd be mobbed. Helen
had two visitors and the way they
made fun Of us was shocking. The tales
they told of how funny some of us
looked balancing on our hind feet
when we should be balancing on our
fore feet and their limitations OF the
collision between two of us-one
pirouetting to the right and the other
to the left-are very amusing, but we
all feel uneasy. The worst of the two
took private lessons at a noble price
an hour TO catch up with us and now
we have her at our mercy. II she
could possibly initiate herself she
would be in great demand As a parlor
entertainer"
Gould ! take lessons and catch
up7" asked the friend. Il do so love
to dance, and you know l have rather
nice ngure."
THAT you have" said Miss Heron,
generously. still. II might be I'm
proved. You needn't take lessons. I'll
give you a drill or two and then you
can join. II will be fun to bully some
body who doesn't know anything
about gymnastic dancing"