Catoctin clarion., 1908-08-20

THE HONEYMOON, !


1t seems strange, considering all
the honeymoon experts there are,
that no one has as yet volunteered
to give few simple directions as to
the manner in which a honeymoon
should be conducted. Let us do this
at once, in order that all those going
on honeymoons may reap the bene.
fit
After securing what in your opin.
ion Is a desirable person to take on
honeymoon, 60 at once to your
bank and make as large a loan as
possible. Remember, there are two
kinds of loans-call and time.
A call loan is one which is likely
to be called when you least expect 1t.
Avoid, therefore, any appearance of
call loan on your honeymoon. When
you are sitting with your loved one
under Niagara Falls, holding hands
under your rubber overcoats and
having your throats sprayed while
you gaze through the fog at trusty
eyes upturned to your own, 1t is ex-
tremely annoying to have bank
messenger tap you on the shoulder
and tell you that all is over. Make
time loan. therefore, and make 1t
as long as possible. Have 1t cover
not only the period of your honey
moon, but the rest of your married.
life as we'll. This will save you the
trouble of renewing 1t from time to
time.
The next point 10 consider is the
place, or places, you will visit on
your honeymoon. and should be ar.
ranged in the following manner:
Make out a list of all the possible
places to visit. Do this alone. un-
aided and in secret. For this is an
important matter. and your judg-
ment needs to be clear. When you
have finally selected the exact spot
to visit, break the news to your com.
panion and arrange at once to 60 to
the place selected by her family and
herself. at the same time doubling
the amount of your loan.
Rapidly but unostentatiously leav-
ing the hired hack at the railroad
station, and shaking the rice out Of
your clothes, you should at once con-
duct your bride to her seat in the
parlor car in full view OF all the
passengers.
You will then begin at once to pass
her water from the tank in front.
Every bridegroom passes his loved
one a glass of water from the tank
at least every fifteen minutes during
the first round.
Do not smoke for the first week.
No man can do his best work with
cigar in his mouth. Besides, 1t Is
waste of good tobacco.
Arriving at the hotel you have
corresponded with. take the clerk
aside confidentially and tell him your
secret He will appear surprised and
embarrassed. but do not let this dis
concert you. Ask him frankly for
the bridal suite. When he informs
you that this has already been ar.
ranged for. do not reproach him with
deceit. Remember that he has only
done this to spare your feelings.
Adopt frank, hearty. bluff man
ner toward your bride in the pres.
ence of others. Always bear In mind
that you did not originate the honey
moon idea, and that no blame for
your actions should be attached to
you. This thought should sustain
you at all times. Hold her hand
freely, call her the usual name, and
in general act as If you didn't realize
that you couldn't get away from her
in lifetime.
No matter where you go. always
buy your return tickets. This will
insure your getting back home with
out cabling your father-in-law.
TO cable your father-in-law on
your honeymoon is extremely bad
form. 1t may handicap you later,
when you really need the money
From Life.