davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

mantuamaker will keep on talking, and
so l agreed.
THE French really are smugger peo-
pie than the Americans. especially the
French bourgeoisie," he went on. fhere
would never have been any riotous doings
at an American race track had three or
four American women appeared on the
clubhouse lawn wearing sheath dresses.
There might have been some curiosity.
But | think the curiosity would have
found its outward expression In eventual
applause the clapping of the hands. the
huzzas. the cheers, you know. instead OF
the threatening. rotouS proceedings mat
Occurred on the Paris race track In
this country, you see. the universal die
tum is The woman knows Leave 1t to
her would he the collcquial rendering
Moreover" he went on. there is no
reason why any OF us. on this or that
side of the sea. should be prudes. You
remember the expires ion-I think That
English novel maker. Charles Reade. en-
ployed it--'prur.ent prudes? Wen. the
French. l grieve to say. are what You
might call prurient prudes. You have
seen the women sea bathing at Trouville,
we will say? Their bathing costumes at
Trouville-could anything be franker.
blander? Well. we'll. On this side. We
have. in hts many insidious and sug-
ges,iye varieties the boo waist.
The peek a-boo waist of American wom-
en- is a far Subtler affalr than the bold
est evening costume ever worn by mod
ern woman-subtle. because Of its shift
ing screenfulness its hide and-seekness.
so to speak. Also. in this country. we
have women in bathing dresses-and the
American bathing dress for women is
seeking to build itself upon the Trou-
vile model and will succeed In that eff
fort In time. Very well-why not. then.
the sheath gown? 1t is no worse than
these other things l have touched upon.
Oh. it is very frank. very candr.. l.
know-but it is chic ard inviting. believe
me; most chic and engaging. Therefore
it will be widely worn. Then, too. il was
good enough for our at-grandmotEers.
was it noto You will find in many New
York homes portraits of these great
grandmothers. in more or less anguish
ing pastures, wearing these sheath or
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06
W--ul-:I

"Y'sse. Stinagree got the fever to go
TO Alaska at the wind-up of that great
season of his. and he decided to go up to
the klondike and try his luck. and the
night before he started. he and I being
great pals. why, we went. out and got all
soused up. and then he turned confiden-
tial. and he took me to where he lived.
and he showed me the bat that he always
used during that famous season of his.
Il promised not to tell anybody else
about it. because Stingaree said that
maybe he wouldn't get anything in Aas-
ka in which case he might want to come
hack and play some more ball with the
Chloride O Lime team, and of course l
promised.
Then Stingaree Sappem produced the
bat with which he had made his pine
pomenal batting average. I'd no sooner
looked at the bat than the whole thing
was clear to me.
"Y'see that bat was followed out at
the end-hOllOwed out for about SIN
inches. and, as it was big. wide bat.
there was just about enough room in that
hollow space at the end of bat to con-
tain bail. There was little door.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

own up around the rat SO Is to cover
the rat from the general. knocking view
of all mankind ard woma nkind-chief1y
the latter
women are careful to cover up their
rats that il might naturally he supposed
that THEY actually supposed that they
were getting away with the proposition
that they didn't wear rats at allo
It's an awful job. this. of pulling the
few personally conducted and actually
owned hairs over the big. bulgy round
rat But they do it. They accomplish
that miracle. No man ever knows just
how they do it. no matter how carefully
he watches them. 1t is like watching
Heud;ni pull off one of his escapes. You
can't tell how he does 1t even While
you're studying his every move. A wom-
ans job in pulling her own capillary
adornment over large, knObby. bunchy
rat so as to completely screen the rat Is
nothing short of miracle. and every
man who's ever seen it done knows In MS
heart Of hearts that it's a miracle. It's
like what it would be if the groUndkeeper
at the Washington ball park tried 70
cover ,p the diamond to keep the rain on
with a little bit of ten-cent porous plas-
ter. the difference being that the woman
GOVERNS up the rat gets away with the
lob whereas the groundkeeper would
never even tackle his job.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

he played in only one game. either. He
played right field in every game 'of the
season. 100 in all. and he batted clean
thousand for the whole. hull season. just
as sure as I'm sitting here smoking this
5O-cent Invincible perfecto
May sound strange, and all that, but
it came out Just that way. and 1 can't
understand how you hadn't heard all
about it. OF course. no such record as
that ever was made before or since. in the
game of ball. and it's just as much of a
pipe that no such batting record ever
will be made again.
Stingaree, he hit 'em so that the balls
he walloped were never found again. No
body could ever see whera the balls went
to. either. 1t was just &C of Stln-
garee trudging up to the plate. swinging
his big war club at the first one that came
along. no matter how far out of the way
it was, and. kersmack. Nobody 'ud see
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

Stingaree. He wouldn't have it. They
tried it thousand times on HIM. but
Stingaree. lie simply wouldn't let EN-
pass him. Nope-ee. The pitcher Of the
opposing team would step away out of
the box. in defiance of the umpire. and
the catcher would walk ten or fifteen feet
to one side of the plate. ard then the
pitcher would let fly and try to heave
one wide, but Stingaree was up to all
that stuff, and he never failed to on
the job.
He'd just give hop. skip and jump
to where he saw the ball coming. and
every time he'd catch the ball right on the
end of his bat. and thered be loud ker
smack. and nobody would where the
ball went. although of course everybody
supposed that II went too fast to he seen
by human eyes. and then StiHgareed sort
o. hlnch himself together ard just amble
around the sacks. easy like and thered
be one more tally for the Chloride
o Lines.
But became the recipient Of Stnga-
rees confidence. and can explain how
lie made his batting average of a thou
sand playing in all of the games.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06
NTTE / NJ -TNN

kink But the felin- delicacy is there.
right enough. and presently the eight or
nine compact limitations of a beef kidney
are all pasted on.
BY this time the dismal effect which
the sight of her had upon YOU when she
had her own nine or ten or thirteen or
fourteen hairs in kids is wearing off. and
you are saying to yourself that. b'jee,
your wife is a mighty natty-lcok.ng girl.
blamed II she isn't.
Then she gives few yanks at that
little curl-cOil right down in the middle
of her forehead with the end Of a comb,
and twists 1t around. and moistens her
finger and dabs at il and plays with II.
Then she gives three or four final dabs
at the back hair with the comb-and it's
all right
She turns to you and inquiries. with
big-eyed innocence as If she hadn't
known you were looking at her at all
during this tremendous performance-sne
asks you:
How does my hair look tonight. dear?"
(Her hairo
You reply. Looks 'smense.'' and you
mean it. and when she has got her waist
on and the big Merry Wild on top of the
hair. why. you sort OF pat yourself on
the back for having picked out such a
raging beauty for wife and you double
dog-dare and defy any man in Washing
ton to produce a wife one-fifteenth as
good-looking as yours is!
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

| ing a piece OF coin our of the window
before they'll depart. Great great plan
this. and New York unquestionaby is the
only city in North America that would
tolerate II.
Well. well. can il be possible that l'r
OIL Wash'n'n will stand for" more than
lil' OF Moo Yawk?
Did you. Will, back. see in Washing
ton that show of Richard Carries "Mary's
lamb And. if SO. do you remember
those living pictures-some shapely girls.
apparently bedecked only in their pelts-
but of course IL couldn't have beer 50
orful as all that-posing behind a screen.
and their shadows falling on the SCREEN
! don't remember that any sort OF
row was made over that little diversion
in Washington But there's all kinds Of
a row about it right here in the cos
mopolis of the western hemisphere.
Ii seems that they regard 1t as some
thing scan'lous over here. and Anthony
Comstock. We are told. has got his eagle
eye on that living pictures on the screen
business. and eventually the Ministerial
Association will take ii up, il is under
stood.
So the thing that never created so much
as a ripple in Washington s perfect
knockout from several points of view
over here and on The strength of the at
tacks which have been ma, upon the
shadowgraphed girls the house in which
the show is appearing is packed and jam
med every night. and the seats are being
sold by spectators for as high as Sd per
toss ard all the buyers in town are he
ing rushed to see the performance by
their escorts az the firm 81 expense. and
really it is something shocking, Ethel
dreda
But after all. maybe. maybe. Let
me see. who is the press agent down
there at the theater where this show IS
appearing? Oh. yes. now ] remember
VARY, VARY industrious and ingenious
individual. and
Well maybe maybe. There's never any
telling about these press agents. and il is
just barely possible that all Of this
racket about the girls the screen was
instigated and cooked up and nurtured in
a quiet room at the Friars'. which Is
headquarters for ingenious press agents
CLARENCE l.. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06
BALL PLAYING AS RECORDED BY VERACIOUS FAM

crack. that ud sound as If Stingaree
had busted his big hat, and. try as they
would. nobody in the game, even the
players much less the folks in the grand
stand, could see what happened to the
ball. Nobody knew whether the balls
that Stingaree hit sailed over the right or
the left or the center field fance. or
whether he knocked them right through
the sod down into the bowels Of the
earth. or what the dickens became of EN-.
None of the balls that Stingaree hit
was ever recovered. 1t got to be an I'M
derstood and accepted item of expense.
these balls walloped into the land of no.
where by Stingaree. But the manage
ment of the Chloride O Lime team didn't
mind that, because enormous crowds from
far and near came to see the games, at
tracted by the fame of Stingaree. the
man who raped 'em right out of sight.
and so the item of lost balls didn't figure
at all.
You'll be asking me. of course. why
the pitchers didn't pass Stingaree when
he came up to the bat. instead of letting
him rap at it. But they couldn't pass
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

known that it was so immensely. so enof-
mously smaller? That it was so small. for
that matter. that it looks to he of the
circumferential dimensions of Rocky
Ford cantaloupe that has stood out in the
sun for quite' spell?
You remember the mummified head OF
queen person that You once saw dug up
in Yucatan or some such place-the queen
person had been dead about 9.Mn years.
YOU heard-and you shudder. That mum
mified head seemed to he the exact size
of the living kid-ornaRented head which
YOU now see before you.
Then after the kinks made by the red
not irons or the kids have been yanked
and combed out-then comes the placing
of the rat--ignobie but appropriate word.
upon her head
This rat is Of dull. dead. horrible
color. 1t looks as if it might have been
made of iute or burap bag cut up in
chopping machine and then dyed the
horrible color and then stuck together
with gum arabic or molasses or some
thing.
She places this upon her head crown
wise and it looks like the fur cap of
Russian moujik. only not so pleasant and
furry.
Then comes the tense. terrible ordeal.
i'm which she strives frantically. fren-
ziedly desperately to pull the nine or ten
or the thirteen or fourteen hairs of her
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

and NOPE about it? Does he sulk and
gloom around?
Does he say he got beat because he'd
just had letter from ONE. or because
he'd discovered that morning that he had
dandruf?
Does he attribute his signal defeat to
the fact that he'd got hold of piece OF
the wrong brand Of chewing gum last
Thursday week and that the pepsin hadn
agreed with him?
Does he winnipeg around and say that
he got hs'n because he'd heard indirectly.
that his sister was going to marry q
wealthy man who ate pie and summer
SQUASH with a knife?
Does he emit the drool that his defeat
was caused by the fact that he had been
to see one of Ibsens plays last December
and the plot of the thing had been prey
ing upon and cankering his mind?
Nope. he doesn't. He does not. You
know he doesn't.
When the American man or boy gets
licked at his own game. here or abroad.
he skates right to the center. where all
the folks are and where they can all
| hear him. and he peels off his little old
bonnet and he makes 'em All a pleasant
| and weli-meant bow. and he says, says
| he:
We'll. I got DANCED good licking.
| that's what l got. l got 1t right where
| Pocahontas wore the 'possum claws. !
sure did Got 1t good. blame my fool
| swelled-up hide, and no mistake. But
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

less than $25 day. 1t might lower the
tone of this Office.
Mr.. nouganne woke up about | o'clock
in the afternoon He thinks he must have
eaten a grape.
Mr. Speaker. I move that the House
do now adjourn.
To minimizing folks this may seem a
formal. simple sounding phrase. and
sometimes il may be-. But not 10 any
one who has ever heard ii delivered by
Representative Serene Payne of New
York. chairman of the Housa committee
WAYS and means. and the bell COW of
the Republican herd. As spoken by that
somewhat Falstaffian gentleman from the
Empire state it is enough to bring tears
to the eyes. 1t smacks of power. it
breaths authority. it rings with a deter
mined and eyilish finality.
There are days and days when the voice
OF the Honorable Serene is not heard n
the tGnul; there times when, tc
the skeptic in the gallery il seems as If
sleep lowered. tmid and uncertain. above
his snowy locks.
But these critics are put to shame when
at the appointed hour-and perhaps aided
by a friendly joggle from Il members ell
bow or whispered warming from page
the Honora BILE Sereno's mental alarm
clock goes off. and. shifting his ponder
Gus bulk from his chair to the aisle.
where navigation is totally INSTRUCTED for
the moment. he remarks. Mr. Speaker.
move that the House do now adjourn.
Some folks in Washington regret that
Congress won't meet again until next
December. They don't see how they
can get along without Serene And It's
no wonder. for the ma jority leader is an
impressive sight. He fills his seat i'm the
House. physically speaking. with a whole
lot TO spare. There is no difference Of
opinion to this though there is with
reference to the tremendousness of his
mental bulk.
However. not even this bothers Serene.
He is it and he knows il. and he con
siders it proof of dark abysimal ignorance
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06
IL N

opening inward by a spring, covering TINS
hollowed-out space at the eLd OF SON
garee's great bat. and this little door had
been skillfully put on and smoothed
over with plane that nobody could
possibly see it. without he knew that the
door TO tho bat was there.
We'll. Stingaree. OF cour e. had 10
have a good eye and ned just paste ne
ball SOS to catch it right on the end of
the bat where that little door was. and
the ball I'D hit the little door. kers ck'
just like that. and fly through the door
and lodge in the hollow space in the ba..
and the little door would fly back into
place. and then Stingarce would sort o
hunch himself up and trudge around
the"
Just. at this point we woke up and dis
covered that the eth street ear that was
carrying us to the game had made ali of
three squares in the course of the fifteen
minutes we had been slumbering. and so
inside of A couple of hours there We were
al the game with q nickel's worth of
squirrel fodder. and the wond' rous Stinga-
rec Slappem the mere Pigment of a 1th
street car trance.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06
when he discovers any one who doesn
agree with his view.

when he discovers any one VINO uoesu
agree with his view.
4 week or so ago a number of repuhli-
can congressman were chatting in smoke
shrouded seclusion in the majority CLOAK
room when one member who. while not a
member of the big five is still an inn
rortant parsonage in the lower branch OF
the national legislature. held up his hand
for attention AMI remarked solcmniy'
Cannon will be nominated.
1t so happened that every member OF
the group was "an:i-Iat ana tnFS Az
looked plaased-but not hopeful.
Il have no logical reason for making
the statement" continued the prediction
ist but the political hunch proposition IS
elbowing me and I've got S:o,'NV in New
York. at awaiting long end OF prnhtahle
odds To say that Uncle Joe will carry
e,way the convention blue ribbon. Hut
lest some of you should consider me
plumb crazy just want Ia mention thar
got my first financial start by picking
up a long odds he: presidential cleo
ton and have never lost a dollar on
national. state on municipal election from
that time TO this-and ! always bet. III
certainly looks as If Taft would have
rveryt hing his own way am balancing
facts and figures l can't see where lncie
Joe has even look in. But in betting
on an election l never pay the slightest
attention TO any sensible reasonable argI-
mnnt and place my money entirely ac-
cordng Ia bunch.
.You'll lose this time. I'm afraid COM
ed colleague.
Il shouldn't wonder" said the Cannon
hettor grayely. but If | do II Will ne
the first time and will simply show
either than the Goddess of Chance has
turned against me after many. many
years. or. else that I'm getting too old TO
have "A hnnch. Anyhow. I can afford the
$.1.'Nl and in my time I've won lots more
than that.
And this man both spoke and voted
against the Benning road anti-gambling
bill. too.
IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

commissioners as a result of the passa se
of a concurrent resolution by the Senate
and Hons. authorizing the heads of the
executive depa rtments To prepare their
estimates for clerical service for the fiscal
year 1910. In accordance with the
schedules prepared by the Keep commits
sion in addition to the regular old-time
method.
Now that is all very we'll. hut the reso-
luton contained little joker in the form
of phrase which said. land the COM
mittee on appropriations is authorized to
prepare appropriations in accordance with
either form OF estimate.
There's no need. for any one to stay
awake nights figuring out which foa'm OF
estimate the appropriations committee
will follow. One member of the apprO-
priationS committee. who shall be name
less but who is close enough tn the chair
man to kind of make it probable that he.
in measure. expresses Mr.. IaWney
views. remarked Il couple of days ago
that the Keep commissions schedules
would he adopted at the same time we
gave the Philippines to Japan and Cuba
back to Spain
"rhe Keep commissions schedules are
real English. don't YOU know said he.
"rhey provide for grading the employees
OF the government departments as senior
clerks and Junior clerks and underclerks
and Observation-Disclosures that may mean
and If they we're permitted TO go into eff
feet we would have the British clerical
caste right in our midst. Senior clerks
would lord it over junior clerks and
Junior clerks would he just hit too good
for Subclerks and sutclerks would cuss
out the messengers and laborers and the
messengers and laborers would go out in
the hack yard and kick the dog. 1t
wouldn't do for minute. The commit
tee will probably adopt that portion of
the Keep commissions recommendations
which proyideS for raasOna BILE increases
all along the line. but the nomenclature
that goes with the increases will be left
severely alone"
This should be interesting to the mill
lion and a half government clerks in
Washington, and ! have no doubt they'll
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

directoire gowns Excellent women. too.
it is our understanding. whose memories
are reverenced in works on geneaiogy.
So. then. Why not the sheath gown
again? After the great-grant mothers
came the Victorian era. which speit
smugness. Now the wheel has turned
again Oh. yes. the sheath gown Will De
worn widely. Believe ne.
Mastering up whatever remnants Oh
hardihood | possessed / put the final
question to him. l asked him:
And will the sheath gowns be worn
With-er-you OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES
Yes" he replied. just like that. "Yes,
yes, yes"' and ! came away from there
wondering.
Those Sits up the sides, eh?-"Ies, yes,
yes.' said he.
Shades of Alice Oates and Emily Sol
dene and Lydia Thompson and OF the
merry merry throng that has fluttered
over the stage at kernan's.
Thu proprietors of New York nata-
forums for women exclusively lave been
getting the money over here of late, ana
the swimming instructors who give
private lessons in the swimming pools OF
wealthy homes are getting rich. The
New York girls have got the swimming
bug. New York girls are the observant
ones, YOU see Their observation has
taught them that the seaside girl who
knows how to swim we'll and gracefully is
invariably hit. not to say Knockout,
with the trousered element. There Is
something in the makeup of the male
biped that causes him to hugely admire
the girl who knows how to swim. Take
notice of this. when you get down to the
beaches this summer. and you will per-
ceive that the swimming girl who can
dauntlessly breast the breakers is always
surrounded by bunch of admirers even
If she be a girl several leagues removed
from a superior pulchritudinosity. Right
close to her you will see girls of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

gwen over completely to merrymaking.
On tie floor the members sang. and their
efforts Were allotted. Ivy chorus of about
h.ty members of the press gallery.
That's tho way il read. or approximately
go. The little joker in those two dignified
sentences is apparent only to those who
were present during the closing Hours of
the session and heard the newspaper
chorus.
There's no particular scientific reason,
SO far | know. Why tn average news
pePcr man shouldn't be able To sing-bnt
he ism That newspaper chorus on the
closing night OF the House was excellent
proof az tire fact.
Just suppose fifty assorted. but average
citizens were gathered toset her-it doesn't
matter whers-and somebod: started
s:nGfeSt. lis ten to one shot that in
about tive minutes there would be several
lunches Of tenors barstones and bassos
blending the product of their pipes in one
grand and glorious harmonious whole and
after about three ditties the inpromptu
chorus would he trained to the minute and
ready to tackle anything from America
to ''Tanuhauser.
Twas not that way with the press gal
lsry bunch. They got a bad start and
they got worse with every song The
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-06

midomS that's harped upon unceas-
ingly-by the British, who really be-
lieve there is such a thing-that every
body on earth. from the Aleutian Islands
to the Straits of Sunda. must have heard
a5ou. il.
Just as we all know about the armless
Venus de Milo. and about whooping
cough and about peanuts, and about Jim
Jsrries, and SO ON. just as well do we
know by hearing and reading of it,
about that missing. lost, strayed or stolen
institution. the British sense of fair
play
Well. then. maybe you read about Flu
STAGE Miles excuse for having been wal
Hoped at the game of tennis by our Gould
boy?
This Eustace Miles you'll recall. was
the champeen tennis player of the earth