Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-07-21

| Of little old ten dollar bill
In New York would be moth.
Ing more than a whisper. Oh, very
well! Pass up this soto voce autobiog.
raphy Of an X II you like. If you are
one Of the kind that prefers to listen to
John d. s check book roar at you through
megaphone as 1t passes by, all right.
But don't forget that small change can
say word to the point now and then.
The next time you tip your grocers
clerk silver quarter to give you extra
weight Of his boss goods read the four
words above the lady's head. How are
they for repartee?
am ten dollar treasury note, Sc
ries of 1901. You may have seen one In
a friends hand. On my face, in the
center. Is picture Of the Bison ameri-
canus. miscalled a buffalo by fifty or
sixty millions Of Americans. The heads
Of Captain Lewis and Captain Clark
adorn the ends. On my back is the
graceful figure Of Liberty or Ceres or
Maxine Elliott standing In the center
Of the stage on conservatory plant.
My references is-or are-section 1888,
revised statutes. Ten cold, hard dol
lars-I don't say whether silver, gold.
lead or iron-Uncle Sam will hand you
over his counter IL you want to cash
me in.
beg you will excuse any converse.
tional breaks that make. Thanks; l
knew you would. Got that sneaking
little respect and agreeable feeling to-
ward even an X. haven't you? You
see, tainted bill doesn't have much
chance to acquire q correct form Of ex-
preston. l never knew really eul-
tured and educated person that could
afford to hold a ten spot any longer
Duffy to the nearest that's all sign or
delicatessen store.
For a siI-year-old I've had lively
and gorgeous circulation. l guess I've
paid as many debts as the man who
dies. I've been owned by good many
kinds of people, but q little old ragged,
damp. dingy five dollar silver certif-
cate gave me jar one day. was next
to 1t in the fat and bad smelling purse
Of butcher.
"Hey, you Sitting Bull" says I,
don't scrouge 80. Anyhow, don't you
think it's about time you went In on q
customs payment and got reissued
i'or series Of 1899 you're a sight"
"Oh. don't get crackly Just because
you're buffalo bill" says the 6ver.
You'd be limp. too. if you'd been stuff
ed down in a thick cotton and Isle
thread under an elastic all day and
tue thermometer not degree under 80
in the store"
81 never heard Of pocketbook like
that" says l. 'Who carried your"
"a shopgirl," says the FIVE spot.
whats that?" had to ask.
You'll never know till their millen'
MUM comes" says the flyer.
Just then q two dollar bill behind
ME with a George Washington head
spoke up to the flyer:
law, cut out yer kicks. Amt isle
thread good enough for yer? IT you
was under all cotton like I've been to-
day and choked up with factory dust
ill the lady with the coruucopia Oh me
sneezed half dozen times you'd have
some reason to complain"
That was the next day after arriv-
cd IN New York came In a $500
package of tens to Brooklyn bank
from one of its Pennsylvania CORE
spoudeuts, aud | haven't made the ac-
quaintance of any Of the five and two
spots friends pocketbooks yet Silh
for mine every time.
was lucky money. | kept on the
move. Sometimes | changed hands
twenty times day. saw the inside
CT every business fought for my
owners every pleasure. 1t seemed that
on Saturday nights never missed be
ing slapped down on Il bar. Tens were
a.vays slapped down. while ones and
twoS were slid over to the bartenderS
folded got In the habit OF looking
for mine. ard | managed to soak In
li.tle straight or some spilled Martini
or Manhattan whenever | could. Once
I got tied up in Il great greasy roll OF
bills In pushcart peddler's jeans.
thought never would get In circula-
ton again. for the future department
store owner lived on g cents worth OF
dog meat and onions day. But this
pc,.dler got into trouble one day on ac-
count Of having his cart too near
crossing. and was rescued. l always
will feel grateful to the cop that got
me. He changed me ut a cigar store
near the Bowery that was running
crap game In the back loom. So 1t was
the captain Of the precinct. after all.
that did me the best turn when he got
his. He blew me for wine the next
evening In a Broadway restaurant. and
really felt as glad to get back again
as an Astor does when he sees the
lights Of Charing Cross.
A tainted ten certainly does get ac-
ton on Broadway. was alimony
once and got folded in a little dogskin
purse among a lot Of dimes. They
were Dragging about the busy times
there were in Ossining whenever three
girls got hold of one Of them during
the Ice cream season. But it's slow
moving vehicles keep to the right for
the little box tips when you think OF
the way we bison plasters refuse to
stick to anything during the rush lob
stef hour.
The frst I ever heard Of tainted
money was one night when a good
thing with a Van to his name threw
me over with some other bills to buy
a stack Of blues
About midnight a big. easy going
man with fat face like q monks and
the eye Of janitor with his wages