The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-06-14

as how I've read somewhere it ain't ex- actly a happy domicie for th' afflicted
 Rats says I; it's a good enough place of it's kind. Them newspaper stores you reads about galoots being starved and tortured and all that is rot. How somever, don't go S far as to say, mind you, that O Merry would find it in all respects a happy home. I don't reck'n he would, though he'd run up against enough docks, an cZars, an gran alarm CTS generally to satisfy him. If you have better plan, speak up,' says l, for time is passin'.'
 Whats tn matter with keepin' him here? says Bill. We can hide him down in tn hold where tn old man won't see him until that Eyetalian slop-bucket alongside is due to sail, an then smuggle him aboard of her. He'll be better off there anyhow than upstate behind tn bars
 "1ts a thunderin' resky thing to do. says I soberly We'd lost our jobs like lightenin' if tn old man got onto it.
 " He won't says Bill, not if we takes proper care, an works tn thing right; an there ought to bes omethin' in it for us, too. Ask ol Merry what he'll pay to be nicely slowed away for awhile where his baffled pursuers cain't ketch him. I done so.
 NO leIlSo ulIleIO III ull ccHtdNo, Say D Merryvingia, meanin he was dead broke. I explains this to Bill.
 "What be them birds of his wuth :? he inquiries. I know man who could buy 'em if they were genuine
 Genuine birds of paradise! l cries, ashamed of Bills ignorance Why. you looney ther' ain't no sech creatures. They're extinct long ago, if ther ever was any, which l don't believe
 "T don't care what you calls 'em says Bill. They ain't woodpeclsers, or English sparrers, be they? They're wuth some- thin, enough anyhow to pay for our troii- hle in hdin' i'm for day or two, guess
 You're right there says. Parrots like them is worth a dollar apiece, meb- be two He'll make an awful row, though, at partin' with 'em.'
 Let him. says Bill unfeelin'ly. It's either that or tn bug house for him, whichever he pleases. Once we git him abroad that Dago wash-tub, he can yell all he likes; it ain't nothin' to us what he does. He'll be outer harms way at any rate
 .'Meanin' as how Bloomn'dale won't be ut to no extry expense for his feed an lodgin',' I says; but will he be any bet ter off on tn Caravelo with a lot of spaghetti-eatin' furriners? Tell me that.
  response to my interjection. Hell get more excitement outer life gen'ralis'. but lell have to work if that's what yo' mean. Ther may be things doin' to 1n- .'erest him when tn first-mate fms ne aboard. l wouldn't wonder mite II q tryin' time was in store for I'm at th start-off; but after tn rows over an res got anyways recovered from tn ef- 1ec's of it, I ain't mite doubt but what he'll enj,y himself first rate. Ther ain't no dif'rence much as l can see be- tween tn lingo he speaks an tn line or talk them Dagoes slings at you, so l guess he won't have no great difficulty makin himself understood, an that VIII sure be real comfort to him.
 "'Yes,' says I, it will, no doubt or u. He'll enjy it. an so will they, that IS 1T they're at all int'rested in geneorgy, orni- thol BY. an family-trees an sech-nks' which I don't reck'n they are.'
 "Never mind il, they ain't says Bill Kind of puzzled, cd see. by all them big words I had fired at him. They'll like to hear tell about them birds he lost, an how he is descended down firm kings an emprors; an has Gran Docks, an Cars, an Gran AlaNners gin'lally right in ms family. Why, it'll be as good as CIT GUS for 'em. An when they gifts to Italy, goes on Bill, growth quite enthusiastic as you might say over tn idee, ne Il have tn time of his life ruminatin' roun them old palaces of the Dogs
 "'Dogs! I gasps. Palaces of the Dogsr
 ".Dorejes. then. I e'pose you might