New-York tribune., 1908-07-18
THE TALK OF THF DAY.

Philadelphia probably lay claim to the
champion practical joker. OF course he's Irish.
and his wit ought TO make the renowned Brian e.
Hughes retire from the field. Pat was digging a
ditch On the first day of the job he dug and
dug but made small progress. He went back
next morning only TO find that what he had done
the day before entirely wiped out by cave
In. Then brilliant idea occurred to Fat. Half
burying his pick and shovel in the earth leaving
only the ends sticking out he carefully threw his
coat and dinner pail the edge of the
cave-in and then hid. In short time people
came along. took in the situation at a glance.
Jumped at the conclusion that the laborer had
been caught in the fall of the bank. and went to
hastily, trying to uncover his body Half
an hour later three sweating and puzzled men
stood by the nearly completed ditch and wondered
where the buried man Then Pat came out
from his retirement and said: Thank We. gentle
l knowed you'd bite on that
Nov" said B1rem Se1 concluding "l long discourse
I'm no lawyer It's Just little bit of free advice
What do you think of t?"
"Well.' replied Wiseman, ''tt's worth it.''-Pha-
delpha Press
Queer things come out OF bottIes-pink elephants
creepy lizards. black bugs. red gtraffes hobgobins
etc But not even an extra long session with
quart OF "Fortyrod has ever been known to
produce live rat from bottle. Yet, up In Pro-
hibition Maine there's enough living rat
In a beer bottle Wilbur Meady. of Randolph, has
the curiosity The beer bottle has a small neck
and the rat must have crawled into it about
he could move, for although he is only
three inches long now. he cannot get out again
1.-The Kennebec Journal" vouches for the yarn
Strange that old poet should have written Hope
Why how did he know 1t? He lived long before
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Ledger.
determination Of habitual criminals who fail 70
accept offers given them by the authorities to re
dear fhaDS adv
Sheriff Charles w. Peters of Chicago in an address
the Responsibilities of the Sheriff. before the
seventeenth annual convention of the Interstate
Sherins Association at Minneapolis recently Mr.
Peters held that reformers in most cases only
wasted their efforts In trying reclaim ex-con-
vlcts On this point he said: 'T am sorry to
acknowledge that In the twenty ODD years OF nv
experience In the handling of criminals / can re-
call only of reformation on the part of the
habitual criminal, and that Is employed In the
bridge works. where IT would be impossible for
him to carry anything of. except red hot iron
The cause for crime is problem difficult to
solve the punishment"
Have you adequate police protection for vour
ho,se?" asked man OF friend who was resid-
"Rather." was the reply. Why. we've got the
prettiest servant girl in the county"-Tft- Bits
Young Mems Christian Association building
that cost to build and equip than a million
dollars is to be opened in Philadelphia this fall
with Walter NJ. Wood. of Chicago In charge as
secretary. An effort is to be made to recruit the
membership To four thousand. so that the largest
possible number of boys may have the benefits of
the new structure. Philadelphians are proudly
pointing to the eight story building in Arch street
as one of the three finest Young Mems Christian
Association homes In the world the other two be-
ing the 23d street branch. In New York. and the
central building. in Chicago.
Guide-Kindly notice the long time that eapses
before the echo of my voice reaches us. Hello
hello. hello!
Echo 1ew seconds later)-Hello. hello. helo
Mrs. Newrich Qormerly telephone operator
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS.. please?-Puck.