The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1908-01-10
TOO MUCH
FOR WIN PIE
He Gould Stand The Weather
Talk No Longer.

lures TO assume a smile but his soul
groaned Within him.
Has not this been beautiful day.
Mr.. WimpleG" asked the doctor across
the table, pausing impressively be-
tween each word and syllable. HAS
not this been a gorgeous day? Have
you not felt inspired by the day? o..
l think II has been a superb day."
ITO one who knows the law" said
the lady who had studied occultism,
every day is a perfect day"
But surely" said the argumenta-
tive young man. surely, Mrs. Spratt,
there are times"
mo such thing as timet" exclaimed
the occultist, rolling her orbs. Don't
you know where It says that a thou
sand years is but as yesterday and
Yes, yes" said the A. Y. M, but
at the same time II says that Methu-
selah lived for nearly a thousand
years and"
90" she replied, later TRANSACTIONS
give an entirely different meaning to
the word"
But all the same" said he. here's
the earth revolving in space every
90"
There's no such thing as space.'
said she, shaking her head.
as there no world then" he de-
manded.
"Ah, you're young" she answered
him, speaking in the tones of tomb.
but when you get to be as old as
am you will know that nothing is real.
/ All-ali are dre-e-e-e-e-e-eams!"
Mr.. Wimple checked a temptation
TO say, Wake up, then" while the
A. Y NJ. wagged his head over his
! soup in a scornful, sardonic sort Of
way
as this soup a dream" he sudden
| ly asked us FOOD a dream?" he con-
tinued, charging his premises with a
wave of his spoon. IF so, Mrs. Sprat,
why do you eat?'
And he looked around the room as
! If to say, There's a sticker for the
old girl"
Some food" said the witty person,
lis nightmare Tee-hee-hee-hee! Tee
| hee-hee! Tee-hee! Tee"
II did all the cooking at the camp
this summer" said Mr. Wallaby Gag
erly. 81 can cook bacon and eggs
20, l think 1t has been a lovely
day." exclaimed the doctor, turning
to his neighbor "a grand day! In fact
one might even go so far as to say
that it has been a bully day! Every
breath in-vig-o-rat-ing! Every breath
living joy"
1--WE know so little" despaired the
occultist "Ah, if we only knew the
law! All, if we only had faith"
Faith said the trite one, moves
mountains"
But, said the witty one, while all
hands but Mr. Wimple staggered al
ready in anticipation-"bu it doesn't
pay the rent! Tee-hee-hee-hee! Tee
hee-hee! Tee-hee- Tee!"
Il can make coffee, too" said Mr.
Wallaby.
Now, take a dark, gloomy day"
slowly chanted the doctor, and some
how, IN some mysterious manner
we all feel dark and gloomy, but a
day like to-day has been"
("Did you go shopping today"
asked the lady with her hat on. Yes"
said the lady with the soulful eyes,
land, o, those salesgirls get worse
and worse!")
That's it, exactly" exclaimed the
occultist Its just how you feel"
Not at ALL" replied the doctor,
with the air of man who was there
by proved his point. mot at all"
For instance" said the argumenta-
tive young man, IF | had headache
and were to feel that my head was
going to split, would it split?'
What | have suffered from head
aches" cried Grandma Grampus lift.
ing her nose from her food, nobody
knows but myself"
They don't seem to care whether
they wait on you or not" said the lady
with her hat on.
And they are so insolent with it,
too" said she with the soulful eyes.
There was a man once" said the
witty one, who boosted that he never
had headache in his life. Tee-hee-
hee! Tee-hee! Till finally someone
told him that he had no brains to
ache. Tee-hee-hee-hee! Tee-hee-hee!
hee-hee Tee-hee Tee!"
"Flapjacks, tool" said Mr.. Wallaby
Mr. Wimple arose, excused himself,
left the room, seized his hat, clapped
1t on and hurried down the street
Five minutes later he STROBE into the
presence of Miss Pettiger like a man
who will no longer be denied.
why, Mr.. Wimple!"
II want to ask you a question
Lucy" said he.
"Er-yes-Charlie?"
How much do you suppose II
takes to run house?"
Just a moment" she whispered
She ran into another room, kissed
her mother, murmured, He has done
it," cut a caper and ran back again
She sat down on the sofa, making
room for him beside her, and turning
to him with a. beaming countenance