davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16
AzB
4ND
MZZZzSS
THE PILLOW FIGHT.
Jack Initiates His Cousins into the
Mysteries Of Rough Game.

Eric and BERTHE were very pleased
when Jack came to stay with them.
because. as BERTHE said. Three can
play much better than two" At first
Jack was shy. and played quiet, gentle
games. but soon he began to want all
his own wav. and play games he made
up himself. and as he was n rough boy
he only liked rough games.
One day they made a beautiful fort
OF bricks and blocks. and put soldiers
here and there. and little cannons
peeping through the walls. The rest
OF the soldiers were made into an
army the other end OF the table, and
Jack had the fort and Eric and BERTHE
the army. But as soon as the soldiers
In the fort got Knocked down Jack
lost his temper. and began to throw
bricks and blocks at the army, which.
OF course, wasn't fair. One of the
blocks bit BERTHE on the head and
made him cry. and his mamma came
To see what was the matter. and said
they had letter play something else
Jack said he knew n nice game he
used TO play with his little sisters.
The way to play was to have a fight.
and take each other prisoners; and
Jack was 30 rough he soon took BERTHE
and Eric prisoners. and tied their
hands and feet together, and put them
under the table. When nurse brought
up their lunch he only gave them half
a biscuit each AMI had the rest him
self. because. he said prisoners ought
never to have enough to eat. That
night. when they went to bed, Jack
said they would have a pillow fight
like the boys had at school. At first
BERTHE and Eric thought it was great
fun. for the pillows went flying about,
and didn't hurt bit; they were so
soft. But Jack got very, very excited,
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16

squirrels and all animals except those
that can be reached by an automo-
bile but why don't we have a law to
protect the heiresses?
Why are these titled slobs permit
ted to borrow car fare, and come over
here and give this fair land a fit OF
Indigestion?
Why are they permitted to set their
proud ard large feet on the soil for
which our fOrefatbers fought and bled
for their country, and for which some
of us are still! fighting and bleeding
the country?
Why?
Why do these fat-heads come over
here with silver cigarette case and
a society directory and make every
rich man In the country fasten a bur
glar alarm TO his check book?
Find cut Bunch
a few days ago o1e Of these NUTS
wifs an Edam title jumped of an
OCEAN liner, and Immediately the price
or padJocRs rose To the highest point
User knowa on the e!cck exchange
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16

All over the country rich men with
romantic daughters rushed to and
FRO and then rushed back again.
They were up against a crisis.
II you could get near enough to the
long-distance telephone, Bunch. you
could hear one rich old American guy
shrieking the battle-cry to another can.
tain OF industry out in Indianapolis:
TO arms! The foe, The foe. He
comes with nothing but his full-dress
suit and blank marriage license. To
arms! To srms!'
The telegiaph wires are also siz
zling with excitement.
Dispatches which would make your
blood curdle with anguish and sorrow
for the rich are flying all over the
country.
Something like this:
Boston, To-day: At 1920 this
morning Rudolph Oscar GrabbitAll. the
millionaire stone-breaker, read the
startling news that foreign count
had just landed in New York His
suffering was pathetic. His daughter.
Gasolene Panatella, who will inherit
$l9.OOO,O00. mostly in bonds, stocks
and newspaper talk, wks In the dental
parlor five blocks away from homo
when the blow fell Calling his house
hold about him, Mr.. Grabbitall rushed
into the dental parlor. beat the dent.
list down with his bill, dragged Case
lene Panatella home and locked her
up in the rear cupboard OF the spare
room on the second floor Of his man.
sion. Her teeth suffered somewhat,
but. thank heaven! her money will re-
main In this country. The commu.
nifty breathes easier, but all the in
coming trains are being watched
Are You wise. Bunch. to what the
pan-handling nobility of Europe ara
doing in our dear United States?
They are putting all our million.
aires on the fritz, that's what they're
! doing.
1t will soon come to pass that the
heiress will have to be locked up in
the safe deposit vaults with papa 9
bank book.
Here Is an item from one OF our
most prominent newspapers. Read II,
Bunch. and then rush out and take a
running kick at the first nobleman
you see:
Long Island City. Nov.-Pinchem
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16

ing as my assistant at the time. One
day I'm May, 1905. my assistant and I
were both In the infirmary yard. when
strange dog came limping in on
three legs; the fourth was hanging.
lie was OF the fox-terrier type. but by
no means beauty. He was quite
alone and unattended. / caught the
dog. and found that he had a bad
comminuted fracture OF the left fore
leg. L suggested that we should set
1t. but my assistant said IL was some
trick on some ones part to- get his
canine surgery done on the cheap.
and drove the dog away. We had
neither OF us ever seen the dog he
fore. and are certain no had never
previously been treated r. the ,nfirm.
airy. Next day, when l opened my
surgery door, the dog was sitting on
the step. holding his paw up most
pitifully. and my foreman smith SAYS
that when he opened the yard gates
before six a. m. he was waiting out.
side quite by himself, and as soon al
he opened the gate he ran In and
took up his position on the surgery
S'~po ohu "ouiu uOI move. i his time
my assistant was not in the yard. and
/ did what I would probably have
done the previous day had he not been
present. l dressed his wounds and
set the leg, put 1t In splints, and band.
aged 1t up. the dog sitting on a chair
with no one holding him and with.
out making sound. AZ soon as had
hnished-and It took some time-I
gave him drink OF milk and some
meat, and he went away on his own
accord. have never seen him since.
nor did l ever hear to whom he be.
longed; but from his look and condi.
lion l would say he belonged TO poor
people. 1t seems incredible that q dog
should have known where to come
when he had certainly never been on
the premises before, as he was only
young dog. Could he have read
the name-plate?
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16
Church Tower HE puinjt

Sunday last being Feast Sunday"
the vicar OF Selston, the Rev. G. Har.
rison, hit upon the novel idea OF
preaching from the church tower. The
greater part OF the congregation seat
ed themselves in the churchyard.
while many stood on the highway.
The reverend gentleman took az
his text, THE Builders and the Tow
ers." and, possessing a strong voice.
his remarks were heard distinctly by
the large crowd Of GOLFERS and Others
gathered together, the weather beina
all that could be desired.--Londop
Evening Standard.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16

SHORTAGE, the millionaire who made O
fortune by inventing a way to open
clans by steam, has determined that
no foreign count will marry MS daugh.
ter. Sudsetta. She will inherit about
$l93,OOO,O00, about SIS of which is
loose enough to spend. The unhappy
father is building a spite fence around
his mansion, which will be about %
feet high, and all the unmarried mil.
lionaires without daughters. to speak
or. will contribute champagne bottles
TO put on top OF the fence. III the
count gets Sudsetta he is more of a
sparrow than her father thinks he is"
It's pitiful, Bunch; that's what II
is. pitiful!
All over the country rich men are
dropping their beloved daughters in
the cyclone cellars and hiding
mammals stocking with the money in
1t out in the hay loft.
am glad, Bunch, that ! am not n
rich man with a daughter who is eat.
Ing her heart out for a moth-covered
title and castle on the Rhinewino.
You can bet Bunch. that no daugb.
ter OF mine can ever marry a tall gent
with a nose like quarter past six
and a knowledge of the English Ian.
guage which doesn't get beyond
i. o. u.
Talk to the nobility you have been
hobnobbing with. Bunch. and see II
you can reform them.
Yours in hope, JOHN.
Copyright. 1905. by @. w. Dillingham;, Coz
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16
Entertaining . German Nobleman

Undertaking q German Nobleman.r
sue paper and only eight dollars in
their jeans.
Count Cheese Won Cheese was in.
troduced to me by Uncle Peter as
plain Herr Bungstarter, and then
uncle whispered me next to the real
truth about the incognito gag.
uncle Peter certainly does make
both ends meet in the lemon industry.
He is the original onion collector.
and he spends his waking moments
falling for dead ones
| was on to Count Cheese Won
Cheese the moment he opened his talk
trap.
That min is over here to pick out
an heiress and fall in love with her
because he needs the money.
Every steamer brings them over.
Bunch, some incognito, some In dress
suits, and some in hoe signo vinces.
but all OF them able to pick out a
lady with bank account at so PAGES.
It's getting so now, Bunch, that an
open-face, stem-winding American
has to kick four dukes. eight earls.
NS'O'A SOuhtor oiu d Couplt VI princes
on the front steps every time he goes
TO call on his sweetheart-if she has
money
When I go down into Wall street.
Bunch. find rich men with tears
streaming down their faces while they
are calling up on the telephone to see
II their daughter. Gladys, is still safe
at home, where they left her before
they came down to business
2 Walk through a peachy ,,alace of
the rich on Fifth avenue, and what will
you find?
Answer: You will find a proud moth
or bowed with great grief. and hold
Ing on to rope which is tied to her
daughters ankle to prevent the lat
ter from running out ON the front
piazza and throwing kisses at the
titled foreigners.
You will find these cheap skates
everywhere. Bunch, rushing hither and
thither, and smiling the air for the
odor OF burning money.
Why should II be thus. Bunch?
We have laws in this country to
protect the birds ard the trees. the
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16
The Whistlino Bov.

Any one who has listened to a burs,
Of wild applause in an English theatet
knows that after the din has in
creased and the storm risen to a
certain eight Of intensity, IT is Ger
tain that some boy I'm the CALLER,
(and may heaven bless himD will in
sert two fingers I'm his mouth and
oblige with that demonstration known
as the death shrek" 1t is most effec
tive. 1t gives a finishing touch. ~
shows that the climax has been
reached, II is the last word in the way
of friendly or unfriindly demonstra
lion
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16
The Pillows Went Flying About.

and spoilt ii all. He jumped on
Eric's bed. knocked him down and
stood on him. and was just banging his
pillow at Bertie-who came up to help
Eric-when somehow 1t slipped out OF
his band and Knocked the clock of the
manteipiece and broke It, Eric's
rather came upstairs and was very
angry. and everybody was glad when
JACK went back to school and could
play with Logs bigger and stronger
than himself
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16
a ROYAL Peter.

When Prince George Of Wales then
a midshiDman, was going round the
word with his late brother. he attend.
cd a ball one night at Rio. Observing
'na' me prince danced with the pretti-
est girls and neglected The daughter,
~ the biswigs, his elder brother chided
You go and sit down and whistle
uod save your grandmother, and let
me aione!" was the princes retort
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16
DocoIE WENT TO THE DOCTOR.
injured Brute Showed Human Isrte..L
0enes In Securing Help.

weli-known veterinary surgeon,
who does not wish his name published,
tells the following story and vouches
Tor Its truth: You ask me what I
consider to be the most notable and
autheh-e instance Of canine intelii.
sence that has come under my obser-
walton. The following case is abso-
lutte truth aud occurred shortly after
purchased my present practice. The
former owner of the practice was act.
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16

Little Margaret was enduring a visit
from her boisterOus cousins from the
wcst One evening after the children
SAID their prayers. their talk turned on
Leaven. Henry, Dick and Bob wished
to know II they would go there when
they died. When an affirmative AN.
swer was given. little Margaret OK.
claimed, with heartfelt sympathy.
Poor Dcd. Life
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16
FIRE INSURANCE

Is the cheapest and best security q
man can buy. IL saves him from worrys
perhaps from ruin and his family FROM
want The rates are mi very high.
J Will DO pleased 60 give them TO any
one who will come in and talk the mas.
ter over Only safe comosnics repre-
sented + z. MeuOuGsA Cereda ~
Va
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16
Mental Reservations.

DO you expect people to believe ali
you tell them I'm a campaign"
Ne" answered. Senator Sorghum
And on the other uand they mustn't
expect me to tell them ali J believe
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16
The Kid Again.

say, pa.
What nov. my SON."
When your foots asleep doea e.
really hurt' or Is It only dreaming II
hurts7
Ceredo advance. [volume] (Ceredo, W. Va.) 1885-1939, 1908-09-16
MR.. FUNNY.LOOkING.
Queer Old Fellow viii Do Many Funny
Stunts.

This queer-looking man can be made
the cause OF lots OF fun IL he In mt
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-07
Choice Of People Will Decide
 Matters At Denver
CONVENTION NOT BOSSED
There is no Semblance of the Spirit That Actuated the Chicago Con- vention and the Will of the
 People Will Be Fully
 Carried Out.

Denver, July s.-(Special )--Here in the shadow of Pikes Peak they are getting ready to hold a convention. True, there will be a machine as the republican press points out. It is a machine which will bring a blush to the cheeks of Frank Hitchcock, the man who organized the federal officeholders and under the direc- ton of the President voted them like cattle, fortnight or so ago. This par ticular machine here in Denver is a dem ocratic one. It has no boss. Not one cent has been expended in corralling del- egates to this convention on the part of Mir. Bryan's managers. They have left this to the opposition.
 The men forming this machine com- prise about nine-tenths of the delegates. Votes are sent to Denver direct from the voters of the democratic party and they will record their votes in the first and only ballet for w. J. Bryan. There is not a semblance of bossism.
 As to his candidacy. Mir Bryan main- tains the same dignif.ec attitude he as- sumed year ago when he declared that if the party nominated him he would accept and make the best fight of which he is capable So far as MT. Bryan per sonally is concerned, there has been no organization behind him. Some of the support he has received has been pos itive detriment. State after state has met and instructed it's delegates to vote for the Nebraskan. It has been done un- sought by MT. Bryan personally.
 MT. Bryan is the undoubted choice of the democratic masses. The republican press here admits 1t and probably in the east as well, but much is said about Bryan dictation and bossism. For in stance, here is a telegram sent by a re- publican newspaper to Its corps of corre- spondents; Rush POGO Bryan steam rol- Ter" This cryptic message ely means that the effort is being made to create the impression that the odiuh1 of dcta- tion and bossism are as rampant in Den- yer as it was In Chicago. There are a score of delegates in Denver tonight who within the past "A hours have talked with MT. Bryan in Lincoln.
 "There are so many good men in the democratic party that there will be no difrieulty in finding a man. Is what Mir Bryan said to a delegate this morning when the vice presiue was preached. Similarly as regards the platform, the, committee on resolutions has been named and it will frame the platform. True there is a tentative draft of a platform in Denver and it Is a mighty good plat form and one upon which every demo- crat in the country can stand That IS what all who read it today had to say. ID .S. democratic throughout and there IS wiue sp.ss'ng between the lines which Urine by the resoiutiees committee ,
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-07
MEMBERS OF THE
 NEW COMMITTEE

Denver, July 6.-The following are the members of the new national committee, elected at the state caucuses held today and tonight. A number of the delega- tions will not meet until tomorrow morn ing:
 Alabama, J. W. Tominson; Arkansas, G. B. Tucker; California, Nathan Cole; Colorado, Ava Adams; xConnecticut, H. s. Cummings; X-Georgia, Clark How ell; x-Idaho, S. P. Donnelly; x-Illnois, Roger c. Sullivan; x-Indiana, Thomas Taggart; Kasas, H. Atwood; x-Kentucky, Urey Woodson; xMaryland, J. F. C.. Talbot; Massachusetts, J. w. Coughlin; Minnesota, F. B. Lynch xMississipp, c. H. Williams x-Missouri. ". A. Roth well; Nebraska, P. l.. Hall; x-North Carolina, Josephus Daniels; Oho Harvey Garber; Oklahoma, w. T. Brady; Oregon, M A. Miller Pennsylvania, J. M Cuff fey; x-Texas, R. M. Johnson; Utah, J. F. Nebeker; Vermont, G. H. Pape; x-Virginla, J. T. Ellyson; x-West Virginia, John Y. McGraw; x-Wyoming, J. E. Osborne; Arizona, S. J. Nicholson; X-Porto Rico, D. N. Field, Gauyamas.
 X-Re-eIacted
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-07
COMMITTEE PLACES
 FOR ALABAMA MEN

Denver, Col, July 6-(Special) )-The Alabama delegation held it's meeting this morning and selected the following for committees: National committee, John w. Tominson of Birmingham; resolutions, II. L. Martin of Ozark; permanent organiza- ton, H. S. Dent of Montgomery; creden- tials, G. J. Sullivan of Mobile; chair man of delegates, D. H. Riddle of Good water; vice chairman, w. T. Brown of Ragland; committee to notify nominee of President, L. J. Bugg of Monroevills and H. R. Walker of Athens; committee to notify vice presidential nominee, M. A. Clay: rules and order of business, B. D. Williams of Oxford; to second nomination of vice president, Sam Will John.
 Representative Heflin was chosen to second the nomination of w. J. Bryan The Alabama delegates are at the Savoy and with Henry D. Clayton, the perma- nent chairman, are running things in Denver
 M. T. Ormond was temporary chairman or the delegation meeting today.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-07
THEODORE BELL IS
 HERO IN A COMEDY
Floods Nearly Spoil the Visit of Temporary Chairman of the Convention to Fairvew But He Arrives After Wading Knee Deep in Water and Makes Quick Get Away
 Special Train for Denver

Fairview, Lincoln, Neb., July 6.-Will Theodore A. Bell, temporary chairman of the democratic national convention at Denver, reach the Colorado capitol in time to open the convention tomorrow?
 This was a question which more than platform or vice presidential candidacy agitated w. J. Bryan and local democrats today.
 MT. Bells arrival was a comedy; his departure a melodrama.
 The first act brought him to Lincoln anent ''the papers" inevitable in dramat- ic plots, and in this case meaning the platform and his speech as temporary chairiAan of the convention. W. J. Bryan, the kindly old gentleman in the pla, occupied the calcium light when the r v ter of hoofs introduced the hero,s Bell, his carriage bespattered with m and his clothes limiting of the flood con- ditions in which the scene was set.
 First Act.
 Salt Creek was on rampage; the bridge over Antelope creek had been par tially washed away and the hero had arrived through remarkable difficulties at the old homestead. The act was closed with a hurried admonition on the part of the kindly old gentleman" that if the hero wished to save the situation he must get away on the first train. Train after train was chosen, only to fail as possibility of egress; the flood was everywhere; expedient after expedi- ent was chosen only to be abandoned. It seemed that the convention of which the hero was an indispensable part was to be abandoned when the low comedian in the person of General Manager Mel cher of the Chicago, Rock Island and Pacific railroad burst in through the medium of a telegram and proffered a special train to conquer the machinations of the flood. With this the curtain on the first act descended.
 Second Act.
 The curtain on the second act arose with Theodore A. Ben, hero of the play, pumping away on a handcar in company with four brawny railroad hands and a tireless correspondent in the direction of set scenery, representing a flood and blasted alfalfa crops.
 They were straining every effort in an vided by MT. Melcher on the other side of the washout. This act closed with the flood passed and the hero on board the
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-07
LOUISIANA LOSES TRADE. Complaint Will be Made to Interstate
 Commerce Commission.

Baton Rouge, July 6.-Whether the state railroad commission of Texas has violated any interstate commerce laws was considered in the Louisiana as- sembly today. By concurrent resolu- tion the assembly directed the states attorney general to appear before the Texas commission and attempt to se- cure relief from rulings of the commits sion which the resolution declares D be taking trade away from Louisiana. In case relief is not secured from the commission, the attorney general directed to take the matter before the interstate commerce commission. It g claimed that cotton shipments in con siderable numbers have been turned from Louisiana ports and carried to Texas shipping points because of con ditions fixed by the Texas railroad com mission
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-07-07

special train, introduced as a medium of bringing the act to a fitting climax
 The third act, which was laid at Fairview with W. J. Bryan awaiting news of the hero who was reported at last as safely aboard the special. his difficulties past and the situation saved. In other words, it seemed cer- tain MT. Bell would arrive In Denver fin time to bring down the gavel which opens the convention at the hour set for the y 'ony-noon tomorrow.
 This -s < t the play to a close. Its found .@ sS .as as follows:
 M, ,S was a passenger on a train boy O o .n California to the convention a ~ S sr. was appointed by California so es to visit Fairview and notify
 s,S .ryan that Nathan Cole has been >oy ted as national committeeman for 2 Ifornia and that Cole and Bell, aft
 a heated argument, much exagger- .lted by the newspapers, had finished by agreeing to work shoulder to shoulder in support of the ticket to be chosen at Denver.
 In pursuit of this mission, MT. Bell journeyed without incident from Ogden, Utah, to Omaha, and from Omaha, with many difficulties, to Lincoln.
 Ten hours were consumed by Mr. Bell in making the 55 miles between Ollldld anu 1liCOiH. HE lidlH hdo sidetracked at half a dozen different points for other trains and was held at a spot five miles from Lincoln for several hours, because of a flood which had all but put the Rock Island road out of business.
 The train was halted by a washout, and facing condition and not a the ory, Bell, grips in hand, started to walk to the city. He encountered q half mile of track under water anl bravely waded through the lake, part of the time up to his knees in water He walked to the Lincoln hotel, and after eating breakfast, started fo- Fairview in carriage, reaching that place exactly at noon. A deluge of rain which had fallen for nine hours made the journey a perilous one and when the driver of the carriage finally reached the suburban farm of MT. Bry- an his team was all but exhausted
 Despite the fact that he had less than half an hour in which to confer with the democratic leader, MT. Bell covered the questions of his speech and other matters he had in mind when he left ogden. Principal of these was his address as temporary chairman, and particular attention was given to the portion of it which referred to the publicity plank.
 MT. Bell took occasion also during his stay at Fairview to fully acquaint MT. Bryan with conditions in Califor- mia and of the features which occurred during the trip eastward.