The Pensacola journal. (Pensacola, Fla.) 1898-1985, 1908-08-27


wife, sT, as she sat on the veranda
awaiting my return. l do not care to
raise a disturbance in the house. sir.
but how do you wish to settle this
matter?"
His voice had grown loud in the
heat of his righteous Indignation
Pickles noted with sinking heart
that several of his friends whom he
had cOnfded his plan as to lady ac-
qUaintances only that night, were al
ready appearing on the scene.
Johnson. the ad man, was speaking
Couldn't you gentlemen make up
your difficulties by Mr.. Pickles tender
ing a public apology to the lady?~ he
asked SoliCitOusly-
Pickles-PickIe~ on the Polite Thing
-Squirmed nOticeably, but it couldn't
be helped
The travelling man meantime had
agreed and it was up TO him
The lady. still yelled, was brought
in, and chung to the protecting arm
of her husband The crowd looked
on interestedly.
Madam" began Pickles, still cor
rect under any narrowing circum-
stance which might present itself. Il
want to beg your pardon for my al
most inexcusable mistake tonight. I
deeply regret" But he got no fur
Their. Mrs. Pickles, all disheveled and
GREATNESS, had entered and thrown
her arms wildly about his neck. You
are i'll, dear2' she Sasped. They
phOned me TO come at once. that YOU
had been taken suddenly Tell me
is it true?" and then. with her wo-
mans instinct, she felt that some
thing was wrong
The crowd had somehow melted
away mysterioUsly. Even the unknown
lady and her irate husband were no.
where TO be seen.
L am trife ILL.," said Pickles. and
the two betook themselves to their
apartments.
Il wonder who could have phoned,"
he thought wrathfUlly, as his wife
placed bandage after bandage about
his aching head.
Meantime, a far different scene was
being enacted further down the hall.
Bentley, the little collector, the cen
ter of all observers, was tearing wild
Iy at the millinery which ornamented
his head. and willing hands were di-
vesting him of his long white flowing
coat and skirts-the property of his
sister
Pickles had bit He had made VIC
lent love TO little Bentley, who had
carried his part well, for which he had
afterwaTd duly and publicly apologize
ed
The boys and the accommodating
travelling man struggled from break
ing all bounds with their suppressed
hilaTity-
II was all too good to keep, was the
final unanimous agreement, and be
fore either Pickles or his wife had
gone to bed that night, the story was
out and Pickles knew It
Next morning at breakfast Pickles
appeared, placid and pompous as ever.
He tipped the waiter grandiosely, es-
corted Mrs. Pickles. who was a tride
pale, to the paTlor, and then accom-
panied by a friend, started OF his way
down town.
friend, casually touched on the events
of the previous night
Pickles looked benign.
Then he said: DO you know, l
knew it was IDENTITY all the time-and
! tell YOU l had a time with myself TO
keep from kicking him down those
steps Well, boys will be boys" and
he laughed softly and with satisfac-
tion in his open generosity and gentle
manly fOTbearanCe in the whole affair
IF had a wife. remarked the good
looking young man in the ice cream
parlor TO his friend. who had the CUEl
paper habit. l believe l would Gil
vOTce her.
His friend looked up expectantly.
SO did bevy of very attractive young
girls who sat near enough TO catch
the trend Of the conversation
The speaker. may it be known, was
a rising young medical man, and
worthy, when YOU thought of it, of a
certain amount of interest
You would be surprised" he con-
tinued. all unmindful of his listeners,
If you we're in MY position and we're
expected to answer sick calls in the
middle Of the night among your va
rious patients
Nine times out of ten the lady of
the house bTistiing and CHASTITY with
great hOrnlikc pTOtUbeTances on her
forehead. Will greet you wildly al the
door She may not be wild, hut she
has the appearance just the same
and begins telling YOU her troubles
When she turns 70 lead you into
the sick room Won are again confront
ed with several stiff why. self-assert-
i've appearing braids Of hair which
cringe and threaten you from the back.
In the middle OF the whole arrange
meut Is A woody. ratty place where the
ladv's head has come in contact with
the pillow. More than likely her rat"
and a quantity of false hair repOse in
full sight on the dressing table
If she has Il husband, 1 generally
pity him. He can't help being asham-
ed. whether he shows it or not
tell yOu-and he brought his fist
emphatically down on the table, while