The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-09-13
Told by Prominent People

elm Switzerland this SUMMER sal,
a Philadelphian, 81 heard Charlemagn
Tower describe the stringent police re
gulations of Berlin.
"Mr. Tower, by way of illustration
concluded with little story.
"Sehmidt and Krauss met one
morning in the park.
Have you heard says Schmidt
tthe sad news about Muller2'
No. says Krauss. what is it2
well, poor Muller went boating
on the river yesterday. The boat cap,
sized and he was drowned. The wa,
ter was ten feet deep.
90 But couldn't he swim9'
" Swim2 Don't you know that all
persons are strictly forbidden by the
police to swim in the river2' "
Hal Chase, the famous first base
man, at dinner in Chicago respond
ed to a toast on the "Sporting Spirit. -
"When 1 was a boy" said Mr..
Chase, 81 knew butcher who lacked
the sporting spirit altogether.
FIn a game one August afternoon
the butcher tried to steal second. 1t
was clumsy attempt, he made clum-
sy slide, and the umpire declared him
out.
'''Out, am T. shrieked the butch
er, wild with rage.
cit was a just decision, and we all
backed up the umpire.
SO 'Out, hey9' the butcher roared.
fThen out you all go from my field. I"
- ;: ~
''The late Rear Admiral Thomas, :"
said a naval officer the other day,
"would have had something to say
about the sheath skirt. / warrant you.
He was not a prude, but he had con-
servative ideas on woman s dress.
CT remember a ball in Washington
where he and 1 supped together at one
of the small tables. The wife of an
Austrian diplomat entered the supper
room and seated herself near us. We
both regarded her in astOnishment.
Austrian high life is very gay, You
know; and as for this lady's gown
well, talk about decollete-whew!
"'Did you ever see anything like
it?' l whispered to the admiral.
90 Never he answered, 'since / was
- - ~
Nikola Tesla, the man who harness
ed Niagara, was talking to an inter /
viewer about inventors.
"The successful INVENTOR said Mr..
Tesla. smiling, "has an odd, quaint
mind. a mind full of surprises. Thus
/ am convinced, was an IN
ventor at heart, though circumstance
had made a grocer of him.
HSmethurst, during his seaside holt
day, was seen upon the boardwalk with
a large bottle under his arm.
50 ESmethurst, said an acquaintance,
what have you got in that bottle that
see YOU carrying about with you day
and night
te sChloroform, said Smethurst.
HsWhat the deuce are you doing
With ehloroform here on the board
walk?'
g sThat big dub of Jones, said
Smethurst, has threatened to give me
, sound thrashing the first time he
meets me, and as soon as L see HIM
coming IN going to take good dose.
dom propose to suffer if l can help
t.. -
In Clyde Fitch s large collection OF
there is none that he values
more than a letter of the eccentric
nd brilliant jurist, FL. Il. Breekln-
idge, on dueling.
Breckenridge, a youth at the time,
eplied to the challenge of British
.fieer with this amusing letter. lie
aid:
81 have two objections to this duel
natter-the one is, lest L should hurt
-ou: the other is, lest you should hurt |
ne. 1 don t see what good 1t would :
% me to put ball through your body
could make no use of you dead Tor
ny culinary purpose, as l would a ]
abbit or turkey. | am no cannlbal TO 6
eed upon the flesh of men. Why, then, ;
boot down a human creature, of whom
can make no use4 A buffalo would
e better. O
"You might make a good barbecue, II
is true, being of the nature of :;
accoon or opossum; but people are not
the habit of barbecuing anything
lat is human now. And as to your n
ide-it is not worth taking off, being f
title better than a 2-year-old colts. 9
GAS to myself do not like to