davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Suhstituta For Wall PAPER,

Consul General William II. Michael.
writing from Calcutta. India, to the
state department at Washington, gives
the following account Of a damp re-
sisting wall covering:
Much complaint has always been
made by occupants Of houses in Cal
cutta on account of damp walls, espe-
cially in the rainy season Of the year.
To remedy this 1t is proposed to use a
new kind of damp proof paper made
Of "raw copper and varing in thick
ness from .OO12 of an inch to .0O6. 1t
Is said to be capable Of being worked
into all sorts of patterns. 1t IS claimed
to be insect proof and damp proof and
can 60 six or seven years without be-
ing cleaned. 1t Is used in the same
way as wall paper. Ordinary wall pa
per is of little use In the damp climate
Of Calcutta. and the new invention
holds ont many inducements.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
How His Place Was Filled.

A well known divine whose theolOg-
zeal discourses draw crowded houses
in all the principal cities accepted an
invitation to lecture in a small provin-
sial town, but discovered afterward
that he had a prior engagement on the
same date. He accordingly apologized
and offered to make good any loss the
society might incur through his delin-
quency.
A few days later he received a letter
from the secretary assuring him that
no harm was done and ~inclosing a
handful which the divine Is never
tired Of reading to his amused friends.
"As the Rev. Mr.. - Is unable to
give his advertised lecture on Con-
SCIENCE" announced the bill, -four
members Of the B minstrel troupe
have kindly volunteered to perform in
stead a screamingly laughable farce
entitled -. Any person who has
bought a ticket for the other enter
tainment may have 1t transferred to
this on payment Of sixpence EXTRA
London Taller.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
An Unconscious Meal.

Once John Muir, author and ranch
man, was dining with a friend. They
sat down. and Muir began to tell a
story. The waiter came around several
times, but the story was so good moth
ing vas ordered. Muir talked and talk
ed, and in between he would reach
W. and break off a piece of bread
from a French loaf on the table. This
he did a good many times. The story
reminded him of another, and so he
talked and ate bread until finally, being
very hungry. his companion broke in
with:
"Well, what shall I order for you, Mr..
Muir?"
"Order?" he repeated in his abstrac-
ton.
Eyes, order-to eat"
He looked over at the last little re-
naming piece Of bread on the plate
and said, as if waking from a dream:
Eat? Why, I've had all l want.
That bread was bully."-Bcokman.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Mammoth Cave.

For many years after the discovery
OF Mammoth cave the entire work of
exploration was practically in the
hands of negro slaves, the property of
the man who owned the cave. Some
times they would come to an obstacle
that barred the passage, such as q
great limestone rock or a yawning
crevasse acros the way. Such obsta-
cles would often stop exploration in
that direction for years, though beyond
the obstruction there were likely to be
scores Of beautiful chambers and many
miles of passageways. Thus it happen
ed that for years nothing was known
of that large part Of the cave lying be-
yond the abyss named the Bottomless
pit. This obstruction was known for
over twenty years before it was Cross
ed. Then n day in 1887 the negro
cave explorer Stephen and some Of his
fellows dragged to the place the trunk
Of a small tree, and on this rather dan
gerous bridge Stephen crawled across
the abyss. Then began the explora-
tons that revealed one Of the most
wonderful and extensive parts OF
Mammoth cave. The abyss was found
later to be $50 feet deep.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
In a French Chateau In Winter.

q 1t is not all bliss to be invited to a
French chateau in m%idwinter, no mat
ter how distinguished the host or how
romantic and artistic the domicile. At
least 1t isn't for the steam heated Bos-
%tonian, Tapped in the luxury Of sum
mel warmth. \ visitor to a distract
ingly lovely abode a Fontaincbleau
says he put in tw%enty-four hours Of
physical anguish there and simply
came away wondering how his hosts
endured the arctic temperature Of the
rooms. "If ! meant to live in foreign
lands" says this %shivering person, 81
would go through the chilling process
which inures human flesh and blood in
France. What do these people do to
render the blood in their veins to
oursc like fire and act like an eternal
~furnace?" That's n question Ameri-
cans abroad might well like to have
answered.-Boston Herald.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
TESTING HIS TONGUE.
The Unhappy Experience Of a Young
Married Woman.

The Unhappy Experience Of a Young
Married Woman.
A young married woman in Brooklyn
suspected that her husband was in
dulging in wine. She determined, how
ever, to say nothing till she had con-
1rmed her suspicious. In conversation
with her bosom friend she said she
would give anything to discover the
truth. The friend mentioned that a
mar eve slightly intoxicated cannot
pronounce words of length. This gave
the young wife an idea, which she pro-
ceeded to put into execution.
When the young women met again,
the suspicious wife announced that the
worst had been ascertained. She burst
into tears and took from her hand bag
a paper, which she handed to her
friend.
II gave him this" she sobbed.
/ The friend read from the list the fol.
lowing words: "Philoprogenitiveness,
disproportionableness, pseudaesthesia,
phthisis, parachronism, hypochondria-
sis, photochromy. syncategorematic."
"And," added the unhappy wife, with
a fresh sob, 1.-The wretch missed nearly
all of them!"-New York Tribune.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
The Sun Of tho Blind.

have not touched the outline of a
star nor the glory Of the moon, but I
believe that God has set two lights In
my mind, the greater to rule by day
and the lesser by night, and by them
l know that I am able to navigate my
life bark, IS certain of reaching the
haven as he who steers by the North
star. Perhaps my sun shines not as
yours. The colors that glorify my
world, the blue Of the sky, the green
Of the fields, may not correspond exact
~ with those you delight in, but they
are none the less color to me. The
sun does not shine for my physical
eyes, nor does the lightning fash, nor
do the trees turn green in the spring.
But they have not therefore ceased to
exist any more than the landscape is
annihilated when you turn your back
on it.-IIelen Keller in Century.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Some Witty Titles.

The pupils of one Of the high schools
Of Philadelphia evinced great interest
in a competition for a prize to be
awarded the pupil who should submit.
the wittiest list Of titles for twelve
sham books on a dummy shelf. The
following are some Of the titles receiv.
ed in the competitions:
"A New England Puss," by NJ. e. W.
"Thoughts On My Bed" Stead.
ION Different Tacks," by Van Ham.
mer.
"Lizzie Wouldn't" by John Wood.
"The Fatal Blow" by John Knox.
Porter's '"Tales Of Lost Baggage"
Lost In the WASH" by the author
Of Bachelors Buttons"
"Grinding the Poor" by Mill.
"Owe No Man." by o. W. Holmes.
"After the Ball." by the author OF
"Our National Came"
Morse on "Our Old Houses"
"Woodchucks and Rabbits" by Bur.
r0ughs.
"E. E." by the author Of my Dou.
ble."
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
When Explosives Explode.

A popular notion that explosives will
go OF" by any simple method is
wrong. Many Of the most powerful
explosives imaginable may be kicked
about, may be set on fire or may be
shot out Of a gun, and unless the prop
er agency for exploding them is en-
ployed they will not "go of" and will
do no damage. The reason for this
may be explained by an illustration.
Consider a grateful Of coal. There is
there enough Of what we may call ex-
plosive energy to throw a 1000 pound
weight through a foot Of solid steel
If only it could be liberated. But there
can be no explosion without oxygen,
and the coal in the CRATE will not burn
faster than the supply of oxygen In the
air which reaches it will permit. If
the coal could be furnished all at once
with enough air to cause its complete
burning, it would explode with as great
violence as If 1t were so much dyna-
mite.-St. Nicholas.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
His Good Eye.

It Is a curious fact that the loss Of
any one Of the five senses is atoned for
to a considerable extent by a pro-
nounced increase In the efficiency Of
the other senses. The result Is some
times astonishing.
A man who had lost the sight Of
both eyes trained his hearing until he
could tell by the sound Of his footsteps
on the sidewalks as he made his way
about town whether he was in the
middle Of the walk or at one side,
whether he was walking past a brick
or a frame house or a fence or open
ground.
He knew in what part Of the town
he was not only by his memory or
sem Of general direction, but by the
difference in the "tones" Of his foot
steps, and he walked about freely, sell
dom running into anything or any
body.
Some IN in his presence once called
in question his total blindness.
(Which eye do you think l can see
| with?" he asked the skeptic.
"The left one, Of COURSE" was the
reply. II can see that the right one is
blind"
In reply the blind man merely
opened his penknife and tapped the
left eye with the little blade.
1t was a glass eye.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Heat Of the Sun,

1t has been computed that the tenn
perature of the surface Of the sun
would be expressed by $4,000 degrees
of FahreEheit's thermometer, or be-
tween eighty and ninety times the tenn
perature of boiling water. This Is
about five times the highest tempera-
ture that man is able to produce by ar
tifcial means. The light given off from
the surface of the sun is reckoned as
being $500 times more intense than
that of the molten metal in a Bessemer
converter, though that is of m almost
binding brilliancy. II we compare II
with oxyhydrogen fame, the sun sheds
q light equal to TAG times the intensity
Of the limelight.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
4 HAPPY
He Won the Applause Of the Eceen.
trio Hans Won 6uloW.

INV ssWstS WV
Hans Won Bulow. the famous leader
and composer. was Il Of the most
eccentric members of a profession
wherein eccentricity is common. 1t Is
related that one day. while walking the
streets Of Vienna. Bulow came upon Il
regimental band On its way to the cas-
tie. Immediately he ran to the middle
of the street and Joined the small
boys about the drummer. Following
the band, he kept bowling to the sur
prised drummer, applauding him at
almost every beat.
THAT is rhythm! Excellent! That's
the way l like to hear it," he continued
to calculate. to the surprise Of all and
to the great delight of the small boys.
Persons in the street began to recog-
nize the famous pianist and Joined the
procession. so that the band had one
Of the largest audiences to which 1t
had ever played.
Bulow listened attentively to the end
Of the last piece and then made a deep
how before the drummer and his in
strument.
THANK you" he said. "That was re-
freshing! That puts my nerves in good
condition again!"
It is said that when the drummer
learned who his strange admirer was
he was the proudest man In the regi-
ment.-St. Louis Republic.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
LARGE Thumbs.

"People Of great strength Of charac-
ter, who are guided by the head rather
than the heart. have large thumbs"
says Irving r. Bacon. whenever you
see a person with a strikingly large.
we'll developed thumb, you may be al
most certain you have before you one
who is a natural born ruler, eminently
practical and fond Of whatever is USE
full. Wherefore also he is fond Of his
tory. A large thumbed woman may
fall in love as deeply as her small
thumbed sister, but will not marry un'
less she can see a sufficient bread and
butter supply ahead. But she is more
apt to be a real helpmate when adver'
sity comes."-New York Journal.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
The Only ~"Merrymaking."

The school record kept by an old
time teacher Of "No. G" in a New Eng
land village contains at least n item
which moved a chance reader to smiles.
It is this:
Especial honor badges were given to
Flora and Minetta Lovett for the best
attendance. During the entire school
year they We're not once absent to at
tend any picnic, reunion, excursion OF
merrymaking, the only exception be-
ing the afternoon Of May 10, when
their twin brothers We're i'll from the
effect Of something they had eaten and
not expected to live, although they
soon recovered"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
MIXED RACE FEAST'S EFFECT
Marks Progress TOWARD inevitaLsa =
tastrophy, Says TiIlman.

tastrophy, Says Tillman.
In the severest terms Senator Ben
min r. Tillman of South Carolina. who
is spending a few weeks at Atlanta
recuperating, denounced the banquet re-
Gently given in New York which was
attended by white and negro men and
women. who sat side by side at the
banquet table. He declared such Incl
dents as that Of the Cosmopolitan So
ciety banquet tend to hurt the negroes
in the south.
"This incident, trivial in itself, only
marks the rapid progress we are max
ing toward the inevitable catastrophy.
I have contended for years that exist
ing conditions a inevitably have but
one end-bloody race conflicts. This
banquet or dinner, or whatever you
call It, at which a few fanatics like
Willard and other white men Of that
Tx had drummed up a lot Of foolish
white women to illustrate their prac-
tice Of social equality and launched
the propaganda Of amalgamation be-
tween the races, will do no harm in
New York, and It was not intened to
affect conditions there. It was design
ed for southern consumption and to af-
feet the south.
1.-THE negro newspapers throughout
the country will publish and send
broadcast over the south this story Of
black men and white women sitting
down to dinner. with what results I
need not say.
"Roosevelt's luncheon with Booker
Washington caused untold mischief.
and, as one Of these speakers said, con-
ditions are going to get worse In the
south before they get better.
III this programme Of the Wizards
should be carried out the future trav-
eler through the heart Of the Con.
federacy, when the mixing Of the
races has been completed, could dis
cover nothing here except mulattoes Of
even a darker mixture. It Is needless
to say that this will never occur, be-
cause, If deportation is impossible. the
destruction Of the black race is not
And those who SOW the wind may live
to reap the whirlwind.
II know better than any other south
ern man, or, for that matter, any other
man, for I have tested it. that the
northern feeling on this question diff
fers very little from our own, and II
the Republican national convention
shall adopt the Ohio programme Of re-
ducing southern representation it would
be the duty Of the Democratic conven.
ton to meet it with a plank declaring
this Is a white mans country and white
men must govern It,"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Harmless Joke.

Place q spool of cotton in the in
side pocket of your coat and, having
threaded n needle with the beginning
Of the cotton, pass the needle through
the front of the coat, unthread the
needle and leave about two inches Of
the cotton hanging as If 1t were only
a stray piece. The first person you
meet will be sure to pick it off you,
and his establishment when he finds
there is no end to it will give plenty
Of innocent fun.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Children's Eavorite TOYS.

A hundred and thirty-two schoolboys
Of Paris and seventy-two girls We're ill.,
vited to describe their preferences in
the way of toys. Among the former
thirty-one voted for a railway train,
twenty-three for tin soldiers, ten for
steam engines, nine for building bricks
and eight for toy typewriters and me-
chanical horses. Forty girls-a solid
majority-declared without hesitation
that a doll was superior to any other
implement of recreation. The super
child seems, happily, a long way off,
Fall Mall Gazette.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Family All Under Seventeen.

Father. mother and child, all under
the age Of seventeen and therefore
noted down in the school census a
shal's book, is one Of the interesting
and remarkable incidents developed at
Grass Valley, CAL. during the last few
days, since Census Marshal Argall be.
gar work. The family Is named erase.
Probably such another record cannot
be found In the state.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
No Visible SiQnals.

"Yessum," said Sandy Pixies as be
devoured the wedge Of pumpkin pie, II
sternly object to the n%efarious practice
of clipping off de tails Of dogs"
"Ah, I am glad you are so tender
hearted, my poor man," sympathized
the good housewife.
"Well, it amt exactly dat, mum, but
when a dog hasn't any tail I can't tell
by de wags If he is in a good humor OF
not, and 1t makes me skeery about ap'
preaching de house."-Chicago News.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
His Charm Gone.

Phoebe-You would hardly know
Freddy since he got back from Monte
Carlo. He lost all his money there,
and Evelyn-Hardly know him!
Why, l shan't know him Mt all!-IIlus-
trated Bits,
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Burning Up Prosperity.

Burning Up prosperity.
The fire losses In the United States and
Canada during the year 1907 averaged
SIX
HUNDRED
THOUSAND
DOLLARS
PER
DAY
for every one Of the 35 days.
The recent fire In Chelsea. Mass. looked
big to the people who saw It, but II the
loss be figured at s12.ooo.oW It represents
only the
REGULAR
STEADY
NEVER-LET-UP
LOSS
Of any twenty days in the year that you
choose to select.
In other words. We a
ONE
CHELSEA
FIRE EVERY
THREE
WEEKS
right straight along.
What are We going to do about It? asks
Fiber and Fabric
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Very Considerate,

Heidi you tell your father, darling.
Shell told him I was engaged. dear.
but not to whom. He is not we'll, and
] thought l would break it to him grad.
ually.-Lfe.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
His Hint,

"Don't you want some needles,
dear?" queried Brown as he picked up
his shirt and glanced ut the places
where the buttons should have been.
"Why, no." replied Mrs. Brown.
"Why do you ask"
"Oh, l thought" said Brown a trifle
nervously. that probably your old
ones had become worn by much use."
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
The Ruling Passion.

"Nhy didn't your daughter 60 to Eu-
rope 10 study music. Mrs. DibbsT
"We've got her ready to so three
times, and each time she decided she'd
rather stay ut home and show her
clothes"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
His Niuht Work..

Wifey-What makes you stay at the
office so late at nights? Do you gain
anything by it? Hubby-No, but l have
several times come-er-within an ace
Of gaining something. Philadelphia
Record.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Strict Truth.

May-Shc says she can trace her an
eestry on her mothers side back to the
conquest Of England. Fay-That's COR
rect. Her maternal grandmother was
married In leap year to a man named
England. - Catholic Standard and
Times.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Napoleon a. Reader.

Napoleon was q reader-persistent,
o~mnivorous, indefatigable. BY thr
camp fire and in his travelling carriage.
in his temporary staff Office or his owl.
bedroom his favorite volumes wer.
ever kept within easy reach.-Reader
Magazine.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
Now and Then.

She-You love me, then? ue-I love
you now. She-Ah, we'll! l suppose if
a woman can get a man to love her
now and then she should be contcnted:
Fair Journal.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24

Beware Of inQuisitive people. An ex-
.essive curiosity to know all IS general
y accompanied by as great a desire to
:el. it agaip
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24
One Sided.

"Does he enjoy funny stories"
Eyes; when he tells them."-Hous-
ton Post.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-24

In the long run the best way to make
money backing horses is to drive a
cart on a dump.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-04-19

in the meantime Lucy Holcomb
had become the belle OF the South.
She infatuated all who beheld her.
once she was visiting the family of
the famous Governor, John A. Quit
man, at the Mississippi capital she
captivated the entire state legisla-
ture, and when she departed for New
Orleans the general assembly dd-
journed and went with her. After
wards she was married to the bril-
liant Col. Frank Pickens, of South
Carolina.
From the time I left for Califor-
MIA, | saw her no more as Lucy Hol-
comb. When | returned she was Mrs
Pickens, and II was not long before
|, too married. ! first met her again
at Presden. Buchanan Inaugural
where she was the most petted and
flatronized of all the beauties i'm
Washington.
president Buchanan appointed
Col. Pickens minister to Russia, and
there the beautiful Southern girl be-
came the court favorite. The En-
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-04-19

eyed little girl and petted her for
moment Then he placed a burning
match In her baby fingers and held
her until she touched the fuse of
a cannon. Thus the child. at the ten
der age Of three, born in the Russian
palace, the pet Of the nobility of all
the nations and the daughter of the
great war governor. fired the first
gun in the greatest war of modern
times.
After the first shot the artillery
doomed for hours, but the child and
her mother had beel taken to a place
of safety. 1t is not necessary TO deal
further with the conflict Itself in
telling the story.
Throughout the war Douschka' $
name was frequently heard She be-
came the foster child of the state
legislature, and by special enactment
that body named her The Child Of
South Carolina Yet It was not until
the days following the war, those
days which were blacker than war
itself, that Douschka became the
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-04-19

she was christened in full Douschka
Olga Neva Francisco Eugenie Doro-
thy Pickens. The first Of the series
Of names was the one by which she
was ever known.
During the campaign Of 1860 Pick
ems was nominated candidate for
governor of his state and on the
day Abraham Lincoln was elected
president, Pickens was elected the
chief executive of Suuth Carolina
of which has father and grandfather
had previously been governor. He
left the Russian court and brought
his wife and little daughter to
America but the Russian royal fam.
lily never forgot the little Douschka.
and upon each birthday she recelv-
ed from Tsar Alexander II a bewil.
dering array of costly gifts, a Gus.
tom which was continued by the
present Tsar until the death of the
beautiful woman few years ago
In Carolina Douschka, a mere tot,
became as great a favorite as she
had been among the splendid Rus