The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1908-10-28

Bill called a plain and honest opinion
Of his behavior.
X became evident to him the fol.
lowing afternoon that they were near.
ing Bystermouth. It was q source of
disappointment to the crew that they
did not arrive until after nightfalL
To the joy Of the men he partly
broke down in the forecastle that
night; and. In tropical language, sew.
orally blamed his parents, the school
board and the army for not having
taught him to swim. The last thing
that Bill heard. ere sleep closed his
lids, was a pious resolution on the
Fart of Mr.. Bliss to the effect that all
lis children should be taught the art
of natation as soon as they were born.
Bill woke up just before six: and.
hearing complaining voice, thought
at first that his military friend was
still speaking. The voice got more
and more querulous with occasional
excursions into the profane, and the
seaman. rubbing his eyes. turned his
head and saw old Thomas cropping
about the forecastle.
"Wot's the matter with you, old
'un!" he demanded.
Il can't find my trousis," grumbled
the old man.
Said Bill. frankly: where's that
blooming sojer?"
Il don't know where e is, and
don't care" replied the old man. "On
deck. s'pose."
The old man started. and hurriedly
assembled to the deck. He was alb
sent two or three minutes. and. when
he returned. CONSERVATION was writ
large upon his face.
Hes gone." he spluttered; there
telt wot hangs on the galley as gone.
too. Wot am to do?"
We'll. they was very old cloes."
said Bill. soothingly, IAN you amt a.
bad figger. not for your time O. life,
Thomas"
Don't be fool. Thomas" said Bob.
anxiously.
Il can't help it." said the old man.
struggling Historically: Its the best
joke I've heard.
Hes gone dotty," said Ted. SOL
EMMY. Il never card of man larfing
like that COS he'd lorst is cloes."
I'm not larfiing at that" said
Thomas. regaining his composure by
a great effort. I'm larfing at joke
wot you don't know of yet"
A deadly chill struck at the hearts
of the listeners at these words, then
Bill. after a glance at the foot of his
bunk. where he usually kept his
clothes. sprang out and began a hope
less search. The other men followed
suit. and the air rang with lamenta-
tons and profanity. Even the spare
suits in the mems chests had gone;
and Bill. prey to acute despair, sat
down. and in a striking passage con-
signed the entire British army to per-
diticn.
"'E's taken one suit and chucked
the rest overheard. expect, so as we
sha'n't be able to 60 after 'im." said
Thomas. Il expect he could swim arter
all. Bill"
Bill. still busy with the British army.
paid no heed.
1--WE must go an tell the old man."
said Ted.
Better be careful" cautioned the
cook. I'm an the mate 'ad a go at
the whisky last night. an you know
wot e is next morning."
The men went up slowly on deck
The morning was fine. but the air,
chill with a breeze from the land, had
them at a disadvantage. Ashore,
few people were early astir.
''You 60 down. Thomas, you're the
Oldest" said Bill.
Il was thinking O. Ted going" said
Thomas, "'e's the youngest"
The cook, followed by the others,
led the way down to interview the
skipper. The clock licked on the
mahtelpiece. and heavy snoring pro-
oeeded both from the mates bunk and
the stateroom. On the door of the
latter the cook knocked gently; then
he turned the handle and peeped in.
The skipper, raising heavy head,
set in matted hair and disordered
whiskers. glared at him fiercely.
What dye want?" he roared.
IF you please. sir" began the
cook.
Get out" reared the skipper. re-
covering his voice.
I'VE came to tell you," interposed
Bill. "as 'ow-"
Get out" roared the skipper again.
How dare you come to my stateroom.
and like this. too"
"All our clothes ave gone and SO
as the soier chap" said Bill.
Serve you damned well right for
letting him CO." cried the skipper, an
grily. Hurry up. George, and get
alongside" he called to the mate.
well catch him yet. Clear out, you
-you-ballet girls"
'George?" he said. In an odd voice.
"Well?" was the reply.
II hope you're not forgetting your
self and playing larks." said the skip
Fer. with severity.
alarmed crew fed silently on deck and
stood listening open-mouthed 1t the
companion. "Of course I amt. You
don't mean to tell me"
"AN my clothes have gone, every
stitch I've got" replied the skipper.
desperately. as the mate sprang out.
II shall have to borrow some Of yours
I: catch that internal"
you're quite welcome" said the