Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-26

at the f1amngOeS all the com fellow can dig and
scrape in Water! There isn't any broken hearted
wife, mother, or sweetheart in Water! There isn't
any defeat disgrace DEATH and demnition in Water!
Oh, Water!
When they get through chanting the gores of
Water Water is the only element left in nature and
earth and air have more to do with the universal
equation than vacuum.
When the Water Wagon halts at these roadside
springs it is often surrounded by curious, gr1nnng
and wholly skeptica crowd of unregenerates all OF
whom still obviously enslaved by the Liquid
derisivev proffer TASKS containing various kinds of
Fluid Hades to the Water Wagon passengers; but
these proferngs ected with scorn and loathng
by those sought to be tempted Moreover, the
Water Wagon passengers ferv1dly express to their
woudbe te1npters their adherence OF persons who,
in spite of terrible examples all around them. stub
bornlv refuse to abandon their degrading habit
Congenta pinheads they say, addressing their
saturnine would-be tempters at these stops, who
refuse to profit by the high example of the riders on
the Water Wagon and who continue to court disaster
by undated indulgence in their ru1nOuS habit,
deserve their DOOM The Water Wagoners wash
their hands of all such They doing the best they
to furnish bright example of resolute self con-
troll to the rummieS but If they decline to profit by
it, why. that isn't the fault of the Wagoners. If
they can't save others from booze perdition. they
at least themselves, and that what they re
doing-leave it to them!
They we'll know that nothing ever is going to jar
them loose from their seats on the Boozephobe
Buggy. For them, the Flagon is forever tagged.
There aren't enough rubles IL Ind or Ophlr to br1be
them back to the Bug Juice. The only way anybody
to be able to toss q Hooker into them is
to tie and rope them and then bore round space
between their teeth with the business end of fun
mel. They might hit up Ball sometime when
they're in a somnambulistic state but they don't
happen to be sleep walkers. 1t might be different if
they were able to get any honest lnjun fun out of
rum; but they're all over that. They We cut out the
stuff mainly because it made them physically and
mentally miserable. The clear headed condition for
mem all the time! They like to wake up of mornings
.-whisting like merry hearted little thrushes and
throstes and proceed to climb after breakfast of
pork chops and a stack of flannel cakes and three
cups of coffee, and then light big black cigar and
start for the office That the to live; instead
of waking up wondering how they got home. and
with heads on them the size and general shape OF
those lava busts from Easter Island! Oh. nix on
that last thing Nix always forever eternally, and
then more nix!
Eloquence Goes Glimmering
A FTER these stops at the roadside springs, the
"A Water Wagon starts Up along the long, dusty
road amid the jeers of the still skeptical unregen-
crates
AS the journey lengthens out. road begins to
wind through a somewhat barr n, arid. boulder
strewn gray looking country, far different from that
which has been left behind. The water pumped
from the roadside springs becomes bit bracksh in
taste There is considerable abatement in the
loquacty of the Wagons passengers. They lapse,
in fact into of dull tacturnity curiously at