davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04
Two Kinds Of Bass.

A gentleman told his wife one Satur-
day morning on leaving the house that
he was going to spend the day at the
lake fishing and would later wind up
his weeks work at the Office during
the cool evening ana would therefore
not be at home till late. He promised
to send out by messenger at 6 o'clock
the result of the days catch. Before
joining the other three gentlemen in
the game of palmistry that he thus
sought to cover up he telephoned the
store where he was accustomed to get
all his table supplies to send up to his
house about O'Clock dozen bass and
for the messenger to say TO his wife
that they came from him. When he
came home on the last reach toward
midnight he asked his wife if she had
got the fine bass he had caught She
showed them to him. The purveyOr Of
table delicacies had sent h,m a dozen
Bass of the bottled kind.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04
Jolt For the Judge.

Governor Fort of New Jersey tells
this story: An old Quaker woman was
& witness in a case which was being
5ried one day before Judge Garrison
over il Jersey, and she wore a big
poke bonnet which muflled her ears
and prevented her bearing the lawyers
questions. Finally the iawye: appeale1
to the judge, and he ordered nei 10 ~
move the bonnet.
"Ill do no such thing" she said tartly.
"I am accustomed to having my will
respected" said the judge.
"Well, don't care if you are judge,
that bonnet stays right where it is!'
perhaps, madam" the judge put in
ironically, you would like to take my
place rs judge. too, eh?'
mot a bit Of it," she shot out. There
are enough old women on the bench in
Jersey as it is"
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04

The Chinaman could speak no Eng
lish and the Englishman could speak
no Chinese. Nevertheless the dinner
went Off agreeably. The two men sat
facing one another in silence while u
neat Chinese butler served them dish
after dish OF surprising delicacy,
There was one dish especially that
pleased the Englishman. 1t was Il
rich stew Of onions, pork, mushrooms
and a dark, tender, well Favored meat
that seemed like duck.
The Englishman ate heartily Of this
stew. Then he closed his eyes and
lifted his hands and shook his head
with an air Of ecstasy. After this pan
tomimlc compliment to the dish he
said interrogatiyely:
"Quack. quackW
"Bow-wow-woww said the China
man.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04

During a golf match DetWeen The
Rev. Dr. Sterret and Justice Harlan
of the United States supreme court at
the Chevy Chase Golf club. near Wash
ington the doctor discovered his ball
teed up in tempting style for a fine
brassie shot With the utmost delib-
GRAFTON he went through the prelim-
mary "waggles" and with a supreme
effort missed the ball For fully Il
minute he gazed at the tantaizing
sphere without uttering a word. At
length Justice Harlan remarked SOL
EMMY, Doctor, that was the most pro-
fame silence l ever listened to-"
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04
Learning German.

An eastern woman whose husbands
business obliged him to remove to Mil
waullee soon showed herself an earnest
member of Il local German class. She
had learned to read the language lit
tie. but for long time was unable to
master the pronunciation.
One day the question was put to her
"Are you not glad you are able to
learn German?"
The query was, of course, in German
and the answer was, "Ja, gewiss'
eyes. certainly').
When the easterner was called upon
to answer she upset the class by doing
so in this wise:
"Ya; gee whizw-Lippincott
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04
Bound In Calf.

A millionaire cattleman who was as
ignorant as he was rich led n visitor
into a great room lined with thousands
of volumes.
'See them books?" he said
eyes" said the visitor.
They're all bound in calf, amt
they?"
YES" the visitor agreed; "they seem
to have IL uniform binding"
"Well sir" he said, 81 killed all them
calves myself"
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04

Lead. kindly light. amid the eneircling
gloom;
Lead thou me on
The night is dark. and / am far from
home;
Lead thou me on
Keep thou my feet. do not ask to see
The distant SOMEONE steps enough for
me.
| was not ever thus nor prayed that thou
Shouldst lead me on.
| loved to choose and see my path, but
now
Lead thou me on!
/ loved the garish day. and, spite Of fears,
Pride ruled my will. Remember not past
years.
SO long thy power has blest me, sure it
Will lead me on
Ger moor and fen, DER crag and torrent
The night is gone
And with the morn those angel faces
smile
Which | have loved long since and lost
awhile.
Cardinal Newman
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04
The Lass For Him.

A Scotchman. wishing to know his
fate at once, telegraphed a proposal OF
marriage to the lady of his choice.
After spending the entire day at the
telegraph Office he was finally reward
ed late in the evening by an afIirma-
tive answer.
"If l were you" suggested the op.
orator when he delivered the message
ed think twice before I'd marry girl
that kept me waiting all day for my
answer"
INA, ma" retorted the Scot. 1.-The
lass who waits for the night rates is
the lass for me. "-Everybody's
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04
Running Away From Temptation.

Running Away From Temptation.
When General Butler was in com
mand at New Orleans Il colonel in the
Red river region made application for
a furlough which WAS refused him.
Soon after the colonel left his COM
mand without permission and went to
New Orleans. where he was arrested
and put in irons as Il deserter. Upon
an intimation that he wished to make
an explanation General Butler had
him brought to his headquarters.
"Well, SIR" said the general sternly,
what have you to say in explanation
of your conductY"
"Well, general, there are two men up
yonder who have some cotton they
want to get through my lines. First
they offered me $500. which refused.
Then they offered $1,000, $4,000, then
$4,000, and at last they offered $780,
900. And l tell you, general. they were
getting so near my figure 1 thought I'd
better leaver'
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04
Playing on the Piano.

When the mother returned from a
shopping tournament the first thing
that met her eyes was lump on little
Willies forehead.
For goodness sake" she said. How
did he get it,"
"'Tis frum the bOomp he got" the
new nurse explained. Eye tould me-
ma'am. to lit him play on the pianny
if he wanted to, an wanst, whin he
was slidln on the top. he slid too far
ma Judges Library.
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04
When The Ocean eillows Roll.

When The OCEAN EIIIOWa HoII'
IL was coming from Liverpool upon
one Of the famous liners" says Bishop
Potter Of New York, land, althGug&
the sky was clear and the weather
warm. a somewhat tempestuous sea
had occasioned more tran the usual
amount Of seasickness among the pas
tongers. AS paced the deck one
Amador ledger. (Jackson, Amador County, Calif.) 1875-19??, 1908-09-04
- The -
Scrap Book


Mars George and the 5koeter'
When General George Sheridan was
camping on the lower Mississippi his
negro boy Harry. was one day asked
by friend whether the general was
not terribly annoyed by the mosqui-
toes.
NO sah!' said Harry. "In the even
in Mars George is so 'toxicated he
don't mind the skeeter, and in the
mornin the skeeters is so 'toxicated
they don't mind Mars George"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
A Waste of
Diplomacy

Safety pins and matches as a diet
for baby struck Nurse Aurelia Light
bourne Of Rockville Center, l.. l., as a
pretty good stunt to get out Of taking
care Of II, according to reports which
have led to her arrest and confine.
ment in the Nassau county jail. The
child belonged to w. J. Purdy, at
whose home Aurelia was employed.
Baby got sick and investigation
showed him to be full Of safety pins,
dress pins, matches and other small
articles unsuited to baby's tummy.
A further investigation led to the con.
fession by Nurse Aurelia that she had
dieted baby on the stun so that he
would get sick. in which case she ex.
pected his mother to care for him and
let her have day OF. Now nursie Is
in Jail and baby is being relieved Of
his prize collection by judicious dos.
ing. When Aurelia longs for day OF
again she will use more commonplace
methods.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
CABIN CAN be SOUGHT CHEAP.
Poor Place Of Abode, However, for
Nervous People.

A woman librarian tells this tale:
Last summer was down in the
mountains of Virginia at one Of the
many sweet springs. once famous
watering-place for de quality One
morning in my rambles l found most
delightful log cabin cozily' tucked
away on ledge with a view that
knew would inspire me to grander
better things. There was big living
room, a kitchen, and two bedrooms, a
porch hung in wild, sweet honeysuckle,
well and even an ola fashioned fire.
place, that / Immediately saw with
blazing logs when should hold house
parties In my mountain home. In
quired and found could buy the cab
In for $500 and was determined to own
It before the sun set behind the big
blue western mountains. went back
to prowl around It once more.
"As l came around to the back door
saw a little mountain girl in blue
Bingham dress and pink sunbonnet
sitting there. Howdy, she drawled
In the mountaineer accent. How do
you do. little girl, do you live near
here" 'Yussum, wealls live up in that
air haouse up yondah. Do you-all live
here? No. said. but 1t is a pretty
place, is 1t not?' 'Yussum, VEAL did
live here, onct.' oh! you did, and
what made you move? asked, idly.
Copperheads, she said. looking inter
ested. There's nest Of copperheads
under the stone in that air fah-place,
and the faster you-all kills EN- the
faster they-all comes. I'll bet paw
killed 400 snakes that wriggled ny
outer that floor
The For Sale Cheap sign still
hangs on my little mountain cabin
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18

II remember attracted some at.
tsntion one day. I WAS . telegraph
operator down in Pennsylvania," said
Andrew Carnegie. "Over my head
was T. A. Scott. that great railroad
man. He was supposed to direct the
movement Of the trains on that divi.
sion. giving orders at his command.
I signed his name to the orders.-T.
A. 8.
"One day he was away. The trains
were all late. The eastern express
was three hours late. The freight
boys we're lying about the yard wait.
ing for orders. Remembering Nelson,
said to myself: Death or Westmin'
ster Abbey l began getting out the
trains, signing all orders II. A. 8.
Then the chief came in.
"Come, come. Andy, how did these
trains get outT
why, gave the orders. couldn't
sit here like a dummy, with things
getting behind and all mixed up.
have given the orders many time
with you standing over me. ! knew
what you would have done.
We'll, he didn't approve at all Of my
action to me. But heard him say
a day or SO after to big man, with
little disapproval in his voice:
do you know what that little
white-hairsd Scotch devil did the 9th
er night? He ran every train on the
division himself
That was the turning point in m,
career"
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18

Ali along the path OF this man from
boyhood to now, from the hulking
youth who out-wrestled every one at
Yale to the "quick.footed fighting
elephant of our modern politics, !"
ready to step into the Presidency IL
his party can carry the country, we
gather incidents which speak of his
courage, his strength, his self.sacr ific,
his endurance, his justice, his patience.
his humor, his wholesomeness, his
firmness, his intense humanness. He
affords US convincing example that
a man may smile and still be strong as
a giant and firm as rock. He shows
US how true was that word Of the late
Senator Hoar that the best boy has
something manly about him, and the
best man has much Of the boy In him."
Taft is a man many Of whose ways
are those Of boy, blk, husky,
rollicking boy, ever ready for joke
or a prank, yet never overstepping
the bounds Of dignity, mixing Jest and
baughser with work always bright
and sunny, yet always a marvel Of
industry and achievement.
At college we see him declining to
accept a class post Of honor because
some one had questioned the regular
ity OF his election, only to be unan.
imously chosen to the same place i'm
mediately afterward. At Cincinnati
we see him giving sound and we'll
deserved thrashing to the editor OF d
scurrilous sheet who had slandered
his father. AS judge on the federal
bench we see him declining an offer to
90 to New York as member OF law
firm, with guaranty Of $50, 900 a year,
saying there are bigger Things 10
this world than money"
In the PHILIPPINES we see him taking
advantage OF every possible means Of
wiDiny the election and confidence oil
his wards, even going so far as to
have native prepare for him dia
gram Of the native rigordOn, or Spanisf
quadrille that he might study itsmove
ments and be able to lead the wives
OF the presidents through its mazes
in manner crcditable to the Cover
nor NJ the island builder OF new
nation,--in forty days attending M
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
ONLY ONE WAY TO BEAT THEM.
Big Bill" pevery's Idea Of Dealing
with Bookmakers.

Big Bill Devery has told New York
how to beat a bookmaker-a tip that
the town has been seeking for some
time. Two Australian wire sharks
were introduced to him under an as
sumed name as a sucker who would
bite at wire tapping idea. After the
scheme had been preached, here Is
what took place: Il haven't got any
ready money" Devery unused. when
they had finished outlining the scheme,
But suppose could raise $4,000 or
so on the farm Would that do for a
start? We'll, of course, Mr.. Devery,
II that's all you can raise. But you
really ought to go to It for the house
and lot. It's a swell chance to make
Il fortune in hurry" Il know 1t is"
agreed Devery. That's what | used
to tell the boobs when | was chief OF
police and they came to me with their
hollers. It's good thing | says to
them, and ] don't see why you don't
get a million out OF it, But they were
always there with foolish boiler about
the horse coming in second and the
wire man getting away with the coin.
Something like that was always hap
pening to crab the act" The Aus
tralians were on their feet and edging
towards the door. "Oh, don't hurry,
boys said Devery, reassuringly. Il
amt on the job now. Man named
Bingham's tending to that work. But
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
RATHER A NEAT COMPLIMENT.
Answer That Probably Brought Both
Bushes and Forgiveness.

It was at Montauk Point, after our
soldiers had returned from Cuba. and
the hospitals were crowded with sick
and wounded, that the ladies visited
them daily, carrying delicacies OF
every kind, and doing all they could
to cheer and comfort the suffering
1t happened one day that a pretty
young woman of Is was endeavoring
to cheer those around her. when she
overheard soldier exclaim. "Oh.
Lord"
Thinking to rebuke him for his pro
family. she said:
Didn't hear you call upon the
name Of the Lord am one Of His
daughters. Can l ask Him anything
for you?"
Looking UP into her bright, cheerful
countenance. he replied: Il reckon
you can, miss"
What is 1t you WISH" she asked.
Raising his eyes to hers, he .ex-
tended his hand, and said; You
might ask Him to make me His SON
in-law. Wrappers Weekly.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
Baptized In Icy Water.

Religion must cut good deal Of ice
down in Norristown, Pa. II reports
from there are true. With the ther-
mometer - below zero and a cutting
wind over the hills two girl converts
of the Mennonite church were bap.
tized In Hatfield creek. Rev. Frank
Haws presided and stood in the icy
water to his waist, while Miss Flor.
ence Smith and Eva Drummer walked
down into the creek. The ice was four
inches thick where the preacher broke
the hole for his newly acquired sheep,
end his teeth were chattering while
he immersed the girls. Meanwhile on
the bank the congregation sang:
Christians, II your hearts are warm,
Ice and snow can do no harm"
At the same time the girls say It
was mighty cold.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
Queens Humble Treasure.

OF the many valuable treasures In
the possession OF Queen Alexandria
there is none more highly valued by
her than a modest milk jug Of earthen
ware, which she keeps in the boudoir
attached to her dairy at Sandringham
1t was given to her by poor dying
girl, whose latter days had been
soothed by the tender nursing and
sympathy of the princess, Alexandra
When the queen entertains any very
exalted guest at afternoon tea in her
Swiss chalet, It is from this humble
but priceless jug that she pours the
cream.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
To Avoid an Accident.

The hero Of the story was Lord
Guillamore, famous In legal history as
Chief Justice O'Grady. In case be-
fore him the leading counsel for the
defense OF the prisoner argued that
there was no case before the jury.
Lord Guillamore was about to pro-
nounce judgment when the junior
counsel asked leave to address a few
words to the court. The judge replied,
Il will hear you by and by, Mr.. -"
The young man said But. my
lord, 1t is on this point that Wish to
address your lordship."
Lord Guillsmore rejoined: Il will
hear you by and by, Mr.. -. Mean.
while, for fear of accidents, | will d.
rect the jury to acquit your client" =
From Henry Drummond VOLTS
Rambling Recollections."
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
REMEDY FOR EVERY DISEASE.
But No Universal "Cure.Air" Has Yet
Been Found.

Every disease has its remedy, and
in the search for that remedy hun
dreds of cults of medicine have sprung
up, says writer In Leslie's Weekly.
One man pins his faith in minute
doses Of powerful drugs; another
walks barefoot over the wet grass;
another eats raw fruit and grain; one
is confident that mud baths induce
health, and still another urges us to
chew each mouthful OF food at least
80 times before swallowing. No doubt
every one OF these cures is of bene-
fit to some form of disease. The mis-.
take OF followers of the treatments Is
In thinking their particular remedy a
cure-all for every malady. There are
no universal remedies. Indeed, every
type OF disease must receive special
attention and be treated after the
fashion long experience and study
have taught the medical profession is
best adapted to the case. Certain ills
respond quickly to drugs, the virtues
of which are sometimes wonderfully
effective; others need nothing but
fresh air; still others change OF
climate, and a variety of diseases need
no drugs and no journeys to the noun
tains. but are best relieved by simple
| dieting. And Just as the variety Of
drug preparations is almost beyond
the power of the maker to recall and
Is daily being increased by the chem
/ list in pharmacy. SO great variety OF
remedies has been brought out that
cannot be considered as drugs, but
which still possess singular curative
properties.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
Mustaehes Grew After Death.

Gen. Marriott. in his Memoirs" re-
lates that the body Of Morland, the
French general slain at Austerlitz,
was by the orders OF Napoleon /. con-
veyed to Paris. In order that 1t might
be inferred under a splendid monu.
ment. No other conveyance being
available the body was sent to France
in cask of rum, which was put in a
cellar. The monument was never
erected and the forgotten hero re-
mainded in his cask until after the
fall OF Napoleon, when decay caused
the cask to burst. Then 1t was found
that the rum had caused Gen. Nor
lands mustaches to grow so long they
reached to his feet
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
Misunderstood.

or Henry James. who. to the dis.
tress Of many Of his admirers, is re-
vising Daisy Miller" the Portrait OF
q Lady and his other early works,
a Chicago publisher said the other
day:
Here is something funny that hap.
pened during Mr.. James visit to Phil.
adelphia.
Two housemaids In the downtown
house where he stopped we're dis
cussing him.
He's a very finicky. fussy gentle
man. said the first.
Indeed, you're right. he is the
other agreed, warmly. He caught me
using one Of his razors one morning
to pry open stiff window with and
kicked up an awful row. Some folks
hate bit of fresh air."
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
The Peak OF Tenerise.

The Peak Of Tenerife, as seen from
the ocean or the other islands OF the
Canary group. may be described as
the highest mountain for its height
In the world. This IL owing to the
fact that, viewed from q little dis
lance, II sweeps right up from the
very sea level, and thus the whole
$4,000 feet Of its elevation are seen at
one glance without, a. in the case OF
the giants Of the Alps or the Rockies,
one having nrst to ascend some four
or I'VE thousand feet before obtain
ing q view Of 1t.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
How Long Do
Bank Notes Live?


What 10 the life Of q Bank Of Eng
land note! According to an ofhcial Of
the bank, the average life or period
that q note was out was, for q &6
note. 81 days; G10 note. IS days;
eco to f100 note, 80 days; f200 to
$500 note, II days: $1,000 note. IS
days.
A little consideration will be SUI
flcient to convince any one that the au-
thorities Of the bank must reap very
handsome sum year by year from
their note issue. Think, however.
what thousands Of notes are destroyed
say, by fire or shipwreck-and con.
seQuently are never prrsented for pay.
ment. A gentleman who has recent
ly retired from an important post in
the city has in his possession gen.
fuine Ell Bank Of England note bear.
Ing date February 9, 1853. Had this
money been invested on the usual
deposit rates the bank would have
credited some ones account since then
with an amount well over 92,000.--
London Tit-Bits.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
OF VITAL IMPORTANCE

No other organs of the body
are so essential to good health as
the kidneys. Foley's Kidney Rem
edy makes the kidneys healthy so
that they will strain out the
impurities from the blood which
is constantly passing through
them. Commence taking Foley's
Kidney Remedy at the first sign
of danger. Ritter Bros. and all
druggists.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
Uses Of q London Church.

The church Of All Hallows, London,
England, presents strange appear.
ance every morning. The building
Is opened early for the accommodation
Of girls and women who arrive in the
city by the "workmen's" trains, which
frequently are run at such an hour as
to compel the passengers to make a
long wait after arriving in the city
for their places Of business to open.
A short service is conducted and then
the congregation is permitted and
even encouraged to employ themselves
with needlework or with reading The
women and girls are provided with
reading matter, though care is taken
that 1t shall not be too narrow in Its
range.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
HOW TO AVOID APPENDI-
GIFTS.

Most victims of appendicitis
are those who are habitually con,
stipated. ,Foley's Orino Laxative
cures chronic constipation by
stimulating the liver and bowels
and restores the natural action OF
the bowels. Foley's Orino Laxa-
tive does not nauseate or grippe
and is mild and pleasant to take.
Refuse substitutes. Ritter Bros.
and all druggists.
The Logan Republican. [volume] (Logan, Utah) 1902-1924, 1908-07-18
Filling a Need,

Mister" whined the small urchin,
as he shiyered from head to foot, 1T
is so bitter cold. C'can't yer spare
me a nickel?'
Yes, my boy" replied the benevo
lent old gentleman as he opened his
purse and fished out the coin.
Thanks, mister"
And now suppose you are going
to buy fuel with III"
Nope! An ice cream soda. Chi
cago News.