The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-09-22
DRTF WOOD

If wishes were horses bessars would have small pony at the bar Isn't doing us bachelors any good when it eomes to sewing on buttons
 When Chicago girl puts her foot in it' you know 1t is something pretty large. 
 Every day as the campaign draws to a CT for Democratic victory that will make the eagle scream as she never "screarfipt" before.
 Now that the pennant Is won. and the Nashville pitcher has been kissed. we will put Democrat in the White House once more.
 A Michigan boy nineteen years of age was mistaken for a bear by a hunter and fatally shot. If the said hunter should ever chance to prowi around the vicinity of some t sroSas SS the ssss Of house there would be few more mistak- en for bears.
 looks at 1t all a politician has to do to become aaintiy is to visit Houston On the S9n;ray cont We .,,ss maiatsin that prolonged saintliness out of the saintiiest old saint that ever sainted seven days In the week
 
 there are now too many men lying around the house letting their wiees support them True enough but woman is supposed to consider all those little things when she takes the matrimonial plunge. As we have said before some women prefer a model husband. but more prefer working mod al.
 Connecticut has 6 modern ssndow who keeps three men in the air at once. That s nothing. right here in Montgomery there are little teeny women who can do that and smile all the time,
 An Eastern modiste says these days with woman figure is of more account than style. Figure always did seem to figure good deal in this sort of thing.
 Next Monday the prettiest high school girls in the world will once more wend their way gracefully and sweet up South Lawrence Street to the High School.
 The film of soap bubble is one a.5oo. . oooth of an inch thick, but the skin of some some people in this town is much thinner
 Say girls if you want to do your poor kitchen and turn the ice cream freezer for her. Ao' Only two per cent. of the men on earth can sing, which fact, however. seems no, to deter those gay old boys who come home from the club at am 
 Fellows in airships remind us 1.. That they can go up all Wright" But to this fact naught can blind us:
 They don't all know how to light. | Two typical Alabama negroes. A waller siri and mahogany hned man. were stroll l this city the other night. Said the girl:
 "Ise show skeered mos to def. Rastus ' "Whad am yo' sksered ob, woman7" TO. | turned Rastus "Ise skeered yo's gwine toe kiss me" How kin l kiss yo' when Ise got a bucket on ma haid a wash pot in one hand an turkey gobbler in de udder7" | "Oh well, yo' fool. wuz des thinkia' yo | could set de bucket O watah on de groun' put de turkey down and turn de wash pot ovah him. den set me down de wash pot. frow yo' ahms aroun me and des | HEP YO'SEF'. -"
 There was young woman named Pratt stepped from 2 street ear and sat | Right on Court Street Wasn't that indiscreet7
 (No-her dressmaker'd provided for that.) | Good bye. straw lid Rut don't you fear | I'll keep you hid Another year. l 1 New York dishwaaher has been diseov. or. but the poor girl kept it a secret as | long as possible.
 Tender Memories. "oh. don't you remember. Sweet Alice that
 You threw at my head fore won you 1 Twas bolt of blue jeans at the store 1 where you clerked.
 And 1t struck me. you son of sur
 PHIL H. ARMSTRONG.