Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-10-08
HIS Excellent
JI1d.Sr1enf.


'N>N
myself n political career. Same boys
in their hero worship run to great
military or naval heroes. My heroes
were always statesmen. | didn't
aspire to be Il statesman myself but
did aspire to be politically prominent.
Before | was old enough to vote | was
running the politics Of the ward in
which | lived. Every one said, Watch
him; he will some day be great po-
litical manager
But if there were elements in me to
advance me there seemed to be thoS1
10 pull me back. didn't seem to
forge steadily onward. | would go up
peg and fall back two pegs. Yet l
was energetic and pushing. When
ever campaign was .on l would go
10 the leaders Of my party and give
them my views as to how the cam
paign should be managed. They al
ways listened to me attentively and
seemed to be impressed. Sometimes
they took my advice and sometimes
they didn't. But. while l was always
prominent III Il SeueldL way ooLuShoN
/ was not selected TO fill any promi-
nent position
One day my friend Crook said to me:
There is one thing of supreme impor-
tance that is a blank in your mind.
You don't realize that no great success
can be made in this world except by
hanging on to some one elSe's coat
tail. If I should give you a glass to
enable you to see it in that light, you
would behold a line of men each hang
ing on to the skirt of the man ahead
of him. like the tail of 4 kite reaching
clear up into the sky. These are the
successes. Those who are drifting
about below figuring by themselves
never get anywhere. Now. l know
Phunnyman. who is our candidate for
governor. He is an original and
genius; never does anything like any
body else l have influence with him.
for in one small respect he is hanger
on to my coattail. He told ME the
other day he was looking for secre-
tary for the coming campaign work
If you like I'll get the position for
you
Shake. old man." said. you've hit
the nail on the head"
The next day my friend informed me
that he had told the candidate for gov
ernor all about me, frankly including
my Ill success. Phunnyman had
thought moment, then said in bis
quick way: "Send him to me. I can
make use Of him."
was engaged by the candidate at
salary of 5000 a month as assistant
secretary. He had a secretary who did
all the work, occupying a much high
er position. became n sort of polit-
ical confidential adviser. Whenever
anything of Importance would come up
he would take me into his private
room, tell me all about it and ask my
opinion as to the best course to pursue.
The right way always came to me at
once, it seemed, by intuition, and l
never had to deliberate. Phunnyman
was a very secretive man and never
said, You are right or you are
wrong" He made no comment what
ever; but, since he continued to consult
me. l concluded he found my advice
valuable.
OF course my position was a very
pleasant one. A box of cigars was al
ways at my disposal, and a decanter
with glasses was kept in a closet for
me. Phunnyman almost always took
me out to lunch with him, for it was
hnt hn n hn
various problems that came up before
him. There's no sphere which requires
such constant exercise Of judgment as
politics. Not a day but a number of
questions came up, and many of them
had to be settled at once. There's
where my faculty for recognizing the
pith of question came in.
Well, Phunnyman was elected by
the biggest majority any candidate had
received for sixteen years. When it
was all over l supposed he would take
all the credit to himself but he didn't.
] was at his house the night of the
election, where a telegraph apparatus
had been set up, and as soon as sufi-
cient returns had come in to insure
his election he grabbed me by the
hand, exclaiming joyfully: Its all due
to you, my boy. If it hadn't been for
your advice I'd have been defeated in
every county"
. Now, that's what 1 call honor where
honor is due. The governor retained
me in my position, for you must know
that the position brings more prob
lens than a campaign to get it. He
doubled my salary, and there wasn't a
man in the state that had n better
position than /. Besides. l had lots of
opportunities to make money through
information l possessed, and / made
it every time, though in this no judg-
ment was required. l simply bought
r-hen l got the tip.
When PhUnnyman was sent to the
United States senate he took me with
him. He didn't have much use for my
advice there FOR he was obliged to do
as the party leader directed. so l asked
him TO make me secretary in reality
as well as IN name. This he declined
to do, and, having secured a compe-
teEcy, left him.
Phunnyman died in the senate. Aft
er his death Crook. who had got me
my position with him, showed me a
letter of thanks the governor had sent