Essex County herald. [volume] (Guildhall, Vt.) 1873-1964, 1908-07-24


Il FEEL LAKE HALF CURED ham.
goin' the pangs of slow torture. My
lungs are fuller of smoke than con
sarncl Oh chimney, and feel like i
half cured ham
"Oh. mercy" cried Miss Simkins.
Poor Mr. Moon. Poor Abner! Let
him out this instant. Mr.. Ellet"
Rice threw open the door, and Abncr
staggered into the light OF day. He
was covered from head to foot with
SCOT ana ashes.
We'll, wel"' began Bige. ut is Alb
ner Moon, but what lOOkiu' Moon
Hes gone into total eclipse. He's new
or gon' to shine any more"
I'm burnt all over" moaned Abner.
I'm toasted on the outside and fricas-
seed on the Inside I'm charred"-
But what was you dom In there
demanded Rge. However came you
to be in there anyhow
Abner put his hands suddenly to his
head. Il dunno" he said Il was tax
en- sick suddenly. | didn't know what
was doin' or where | was goin'.
was dizzy. | was dZZier than II yeller
cat with compton lit. and I'm git
tin dizzy ng'ln." lie rolled his eyes
dolefully, then looked al Miss Simkins.
Il don't like TO bother you, mum, but
II could lie down-lm afraid I'm
gon' TO faint"
"Oh, dear. dear" said Miss simkins
sympathcticnlly. taking him gently by
the arm ana leading him toward the
house. Poor. poor Ahuer"'
Blge watched them moment In 81
lence Then he wnked one eye Gun
ningiy and chuckled to himself
"Mcbbe I'll better go and get the
doctor, num-" he said Pears 10 me-
he's pretty sick man"
Yes, do" replied Miss SimkIns
"And hurry--oh. please hurry"
Blge hurried. Fifteen minutes later
he was coming down the street with
Dr. Lavender. He was talking low
ana grinnng The doctor was nodding
his head ana grinning.
Abner was lying ON the horsehair
sofa. Miss Simkins was bathing his
forehead with cold water and holding
one of his hands in hers.
DR.. Lavender felt Of his pulse and
looked at his tongue. Then he shook
his head solemnly.
Goodness, num-" he said, tits the
worst attack of nervous excitement |
ever saw. do believe he's been get
ting mad al something or somebody
He ought to control his temper. He's
threatened with Il rush of blood to the
spine. and that would kill him. If you
will get me piece of ice. mum
Miss Simkins hurried to the kitchen
and In moment returned with some
Ice in pam Or. Lavender took II
piece the size of hickory nut and
looked at Abner.
"Do you think you could sit up n
minute, Mr.. Moon?" he asked.
81 dunno" Abner replied weakly.
but I'll try"
He put one arm around Miss Sim
sins' neck and raised himself. The
doctor dropped the ice down his back
"Jumpin' Jerichor' he screeched
/ falling back upon the sofa What
dye do that for? Tryin' to give me
, spinal menlngitis?"
IT'S just as feared" said DR.. Law
ender. Hes gettin' violent"
"You're conspirin' old Neror'
/ yelled Abner. you've plotted with
Bige Ellet to make fool Of me. But
l amt goin' to let ye do It. I'm goin'
home this very minute"
There, there Abnerr said Miss
Simkins solicitously. do try and
calm yourself"
I'll try, Sereny," he replied meekly
You see, num-" explained the doc
tor. they always act that way wher
they have hysteria. They always
think you are trying to torture 'em
IT you'll kindly get some cloth. mum
and some mustard, We'll make some
plasters. Let's see." Bige was hunt
ing for something under his chair. His
handkerchief was stuffed in his mouth
and he was blue in the face. "We'l
Ieed one plaster for his chest, another
for his back and one for the sole OF
each foot"
You're not goin' to put them foo
things on me- howlcd Abner, sittin,
up ana glarng as If he was goin.
stark mad. II tell you. | amt goin t,
LET We make any bigger idjit of IN,
than We have already"
MebDy we'd better chlOroform him.
suggested Bige, "Mebby we'd better
strap him to board"
Its too bad to have to put thes,
Things on anybody" soiloquized Or
Lavender dryly while he and Bige lei
let were afiixing the pasters. "Woult
not wonder but they'll disfgure hin
for life"