Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-05-15
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SHuaohiSlSH ~ ldu leller
from Jack at college yesterday. Far
mer Wayback-How much did he
strike you for?-Somervlle Journal.
"You don't agree then that Seeing
is believing?" Not much! | see
soA.e pops every day that | never
could Observation-Disclosures Press.
triend-I suppose the baby is fond
of you? Papa-Fond of me? Why, he
sleeps all day when I'm not at home
and stays up all night just to enjoy my
society Town and Country.
Finnegan-These scales is no good
fur me at all, at all. They only weigh
the heft OF 2OO pounus, an 1 Me.A
near to 250. Flanagan-Well, man
alive, can't ye git on thin twice.
Philadelphia Ledger.
Don't YOU think that some men
make a mistake in adopting politics as
c"ieer: les, but 1t isn't as seri-
GUS as the mistake that politics makes
In adopting some men as its represent
Observation-Disclosures Star.
You paid that man great compli
ment when you elected him to office"
YES" answered Farmer Corntossel,
AN the compliment sort O. started a
habit. He has expected everything
complimentary ever nce."-Washing-
ton Star.
Wilklns-Blinks says he does not
know you at all. Bilkins-I'm not sur
prised. He never sees ME, you know.
Wilkins-But thought you were MEM
bers of the same church? Bilkins-
Yes, but l invariably take up the col
lections.
Mr. Green-No, my dear; l will not
tell you what I'm going to give you
for your birthday. Why can't you
women be content to wait and enjoy
being surprised? Mrs. Green-Oh, tell
me now If you keep your word, I'll
be surprised enough.
"If you marry Grace" exclaimed an
rate father to his son, I'll cut you off
without a penny, and you won't have
so much as piece of pork to boil in
the pot" WELL" said the young man,
Grace before meat" And he imme-
lately went in search of a minister.
His Fiancee-Oh, yes, it's lovely be
ing engaged to you, Jack. But l dc
wish you were rich man, dear. He
How rich, darling? His Fiancee-
oh, rich enough for me to be able to
snub the people l detest and still have
them call me amiable.-London Opin
+ ion.
"And now, Uncle Ezra" she said
Just before the guests had begun to
arrive, please remember not to eat
your pie with your knife" "All right
Lizzie, but wish you'd tell that young
woman that waits on the table to give
me an extry spoon."-Chicago Record.
Herald.
First Stranger-EXcuse me, but that
is my umbrella you have. Second
Stranger don't doubt it. Just wait
till l call policeman. First Stranger
What for? Second Stranger-Bur-
glars broke into my house the other
night and left this umbrella.-Ex.
change.
Oil Magnate-Ah, my boy, million.
aires position is hard one. Skeptical
Friend-As to how? Oil Magnate-
l hoard my wealth, they say I'm a
skinfint, and If l try to give money
away they say l am trying to ease my
guilty conscience.-Louisville Courier,
Journal.
Wife (angrily)-Well, there's no
use in arguing the matter any longer.
When l set my foot down, that covers
the entire ground. Husband (calmly)
Il wouldn't make it quite that strong,
my dear, but your foot certainly does
cover good deal of ground.-Ex-
change.
Disguised Wife-Say, niggah, ebe.
sence All married yo' yOs dun muffin
cept sit round de house. Doan yo'
eber feel emmy ambishion? Lazy Hus-
band-Ah feels ambishlon wen Abs
sittin' round hyah, honey, but jes' 8
soon s All stahts ter wo'k All gifts dis
couraged.-Judge.
The family were discussing the com
ing wedding of the only daughter. "Of
course" said the bride to be to her IA
ther, "you will give me away" I'm
afraid l have done it already, my
DEAR" he replied. II told George only