davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Dolores star., 1908-04-24

Teacher-You have named all
domestic animals save one. 1t has
bristly hair, it is grimy, likes dirt, and
is fond of mud. Well, Tom?
Tom Observation-Disclosures me.
so, yes, understand the game
now," exclaimed the girl in the grand-
stand, beaming on her escort with
glad smile. 'The man you call the
! umpire says something, and then
everybody yells at him. It's very
simple"
Young Hopeful-Mummy, have
gooseberries got legs?
Mother-No, dear.
Young Hopeful-Then Eve swallow
ed caterpillar.
HThe people l lived wild before,
ma'am," said the new cook, twas very
plain"
WELL" asked her new employer,
"are we not plain here?"
"Yez are, ma'am, but in a different
way. They wuz plain in their way of
livin', not in their looks, ma'am.r
Mistress-Sarah Jane, what has hap
pened?
Sarah Jane-O, mum, I've fallen
down the stair and broken my neck.
Mistress (firmly We'll, whatever
you've broken, it'll be deducted from
your wages.
Joakley-You're right; most people
worry over what they haven't got, but
! know certain people who worry
because of what they have.
Coakley-That's so? What have
they?
Joakley-Nothing.
Scott-I guess there's none of us bet
ter than we should be.
Mott-Indeed, no! l was thinking it
over last night. Why only yesterday
l was guilty of killing time, numbering
a tune, smothering yawn, stealing a
kiss. cutting creditor, and breaking
into perspiration.
"Why is the veterinary surgeon al
ways at your house? You have no
cattle.n
''He is treating me-"
"You? A veterinary surgeon?"
"The rogue owes me fifty dollars,
and that is the only way l can get it
out of him."
Small Boy-Can't have ride on
donkey, ma?
Ma-No, dear; your papa says you
are not to have one.
Small Boy-Why can't 1 have a
ride on donkey?
Ma Ito her husband)-O, for good
ness sake, James, give him ride on
your back and see if it will keep him
| uuiet
The Dolores star., 1908-04-24

Irwin Brumley is down from Disap-
pointment this week.
The Dolores star., 1908-04-24
ADDITIONAL LOCAL.

James Hammond drove to Mancos
Thursday morning.
The Dolores star., 1908-04-24

Young Hopeful-Mummy, have
gooseberries got legs?
Mother-No, dear.
Young Hopeful-Then I've swallow,
ed a caterpillar.
The Dolores star., 1908-04-24
BORROWED WIT.

Teacher-You have named all
domestic animals save one. 1t has
bristly hair, it is griny, likes dirt, and
is fond of mud. Well, Tom?
Tom (shamefacedly THAT'S me.
The Dolores star., 1908-04-24

MlsITeSS-oITaH JHHt, WHHl nhs hhpv
pened?
Sarah Jane-O, mum, I've fallen
down the stair and broken my neck.
Mistress (firmly We'll, whatever
you've broken, it'll be deducted from
your wages.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
Patriotism In the Making.

Patriotism in New York is cosmopol
itan. They have n flag drill in the
schools in which the children of every
race and cline. as the hymn book
says, are taught 10 salute the stars
and stripes and give their heads
their hands and their hearts to their
country" And I'm some Of the big
downtown schools you may see chill
dren from homes German, italian
Syrian, Scandinavian. Jewish. Uuuga.
rian, Chinese. Armenian. Creek end
heaven knows how many other nation
altics all joining i'm this picturesque
ceremony. 1t gives one realizing
sense Of the va"ictT of matcri"l which
1t put into this c"uciblc We cIll city
and which in another generation or
two viii bc simply American.-Eoston
Transcript.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
Instincts OF n Woman.

A little girl who had for some time
wanted a dog was taken very I'll. One
day when much better she told her
mother OF her desire and begged her
To ask her grandpa To- huy her one
The mother answered that grandpa
Cid not like dogs ana probably would
not bc willing to buy one. Thcu. see.
ing the little invalid look sadly disap-
pointed. she said. We'll. wait till YOU
get well. my dear. then we will sec"
ooh. no." answered the child. whose
few years had taught her some wis
dom. "Thc more sick am the more
likely he will hc 20 buy IL for me-
Exchange.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
THE MONEY QUESTION.
An lnquisitive Younsster and an In.
eenious Father.

9cnlous tatncfs
Papa" began GuuStOu junior. when
the government Of the United states
began To coin gold and silver money
II was necessary To buy the gold and
silver, wasn't itt"
Yes, my son" replied Guustou sen.
Tor rather cautiously.
"Of course. papa" resumed the
youugstcr. you'll bc able to tell me
where the government got the money
Co buy the gold aud silver"
"Why or of course" stammcred
Guuston senior rs he put down the pa.
per and gazcd thoughtfully nc the hoy
Now. let me understand you. The
government wanted 90 coin money. and
I'm order to do 81 IL WAS necessary t.
purchase gold and silver. You want
90 know where the government GOT
the money 10 buy the gold and silvcrg'
That's right" Chucklcd Gunston
. Junior glccfully. and great joy filed
his being as he thought of his all i'm
portnnt sire struggling with the simple
question.
why. sonny. the government simply
issued dollar bills and bought gold and
silver with them. Anything elseg"
YES" said Guuston junior Where
did the government get money 20 buy
paper for the dollar Harper's
Weeks
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10

Daring, Coo'ne-s and Bravery Of
Jarts ~. OF Scotland.

Jar,cs ~. OF GcotIand.
One Of TIE ir.p:ca;'ng characters Of
history is JaEic. ~. king Of Scotland
from 1913 10 l.. ue was athletic,
courageous and .uuduf adventure. In
Du' ing down murrcctiou> and i'm
proving the criminal administration Of
.hc country he was foremost in the
ranks and did not shun hand To hand
contest He married daughter Of
Henry VII Of England aud made Il
treaty which secured peace between
the two countries. lie lAborcd 10 build
up navy ana Ge,"lop commerce and
showed skillful diplomacy In dealing
with other nations. He was killed In
battle ut Iloddcn, where his army
was disastrouSly defeated 10y Henry
VIII.
Those were strenuous times. when II
was necessary for Il King TO be fight
er and TO inspire his ObStrcperous sub
jects with some degree Of terror. King
James used often 10 go about the coun-
try In different diSguIScS, not only be
cause he loved adventure but because
he could thus secure information on
the state Of the nation ut first hand.
IT is related of the vigorous Scottish
king that once when wandering through
the hills during the night he was over
taken by violent storm and was
obliged To take shelter i'm cavern near
Wcmys, which is one of the most re
markablc antiquities of Scotland. ITav-
In a 4 Ia, 1,, Ii
discovered number of men and wo.
men ready TO begin to roast Il sheep for
supper. From their appearance he SuS-
peCtcd that he had fallen into evil com
pany, but rs it was then too late he
asked hospitality from them till the
tempest was over. They granted IT
and invited the king. who was un-
known To them, To sit down and join
them at supper They were uotori-
ous band Of robbers and CutthroatS.
and this fact soon dawucd upon James
As soon as they had finished their
supper one of them presented Il plate
on which two daggcrs were laid i'm the
form Of st. Andrews cross. telling
the king that this was the dessert they
always served to strangers; that he
must choose one of the daggcrs and
fight him whom the company selected
as his antagonist The king, realizing
that he was To be murdered instantly
seized both daggcrS one in each hand,
and plunged them into the hearts OF
the two robbers nearest 10 him. He
then dashed out OF the cave and made
his escape, returning rs soon as pos
slble with body Of soldiers. by whom
the whole band was arrested and pub.
licly NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Spirit
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
A BRAHMS ANECDOTE.
The Man Who Spoiled an Evening For
tho Great Composer.

Among the Brahms anecdotes which
are popular I'm Germany this one was
contributed by Frau Lusc Pohl
Brahms liked Badrn-B Baden and took as
much pleasure in Il winter visit TO the
place as i'm the crowded summer time
The residents knew this when they in
vited him I'm 1876 To come and direct
some Of his works. After the con
cert the friends of the master assem-
blcd at GOldcmcn Kranz by invitation
of the ObcrburgcrmciStcr gamer to
drink glass Of wine" The session
lasted long, but gradually the company
grew smaller. Presently they had all
gone except Brahms and Cornelius
Rubner. After awhile even Brahms
suggested home and his young com
panion eagerly agreed 10 adjourn the
session. ON the way home Brahms
asked his companion. whose name ne
had not heard. by the way. do you
know this young director Euhncrt'
Are YOU interested i'm him." ne ask
ed by way OF answer.
"CCrtainly. Adolf Jensen thinks he
Is not Only great, but genial Don NOu
know himF"
81 know him very well. He is an ar
rognnt, Conceitcl fellow, who can do
nothing and knows nothing"
The pleasure of the evening was
spoiled by this harsh opinion as TO
man whom Brahms had made mp his
mind To like The next morning ne at
tended. with some others. a breakfast
at Jcnscn's. where he told the story.
He had hardly finished when the door
opened and Ruhuer walked in
friend" said Brahms, and when cv-
erybody laughed he suspected what
was told TO him ms soon as the first
man recovered
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
Beat the First Locomotive on the q.
and o. Road.

Beat the First Locomotive on the 3.
and o. Road.
The first locomotive on the Baltimore
and Ohio had sails attached SO did
the cars. These sails were hoistcd
when the wind was I'm the right drec-
tion 50 as to help the locomotive
The rivalry between the railroads
using locomotives and those using
horses was very bitter. I'm August
1890, an actual trial of speed was held
between Il horse and one of the pioneer
locomotives, which did not result in
favor of the locomotive The race was
on the Baltimore and Ohio. the locomo
tive being one built by Peter Cooper
who also acted aS engineer.
The horse, gallant gray, was In the
habit of pulling car on Il track par
allcl TO that used by the locomotive.
At first the gray had the better of the
race, but when he was Il quarter of Il
mile ahead Mr.. Cooper succeeded in
getting up enough steam to pass the
horse amid terrific applause.
At that moment II band slipped from
II pulley, and, though Mr.. Cooper lHccr
atcd his hands trying 10 replace II. the
engine stopped ana the horse passed it
and came In the winner Van Nor
den Magazine.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
Birds Muscular Power.

Birds are possessed Of enormous
muscular power, far exceeding in some
cases that Of any other warm booded
creature. There Is an instance on rec
ord of an eagle weighing no more than
fourteen pounds lifting and carrying
off a young pig which weighed no less
than forty-two pounds. How many
men could even staggcr along the
ground carrying three times their own
weight in their hands? The kick of
an ostrich is fcarsome thing. II
will break Il mans thigh OF even the
leg Of n horse. Exchange.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
Conce!t may pun man up, but ney
er props him up.-Ruskin.
A OH Retort.

Tennessee bred two great orators in
the oldCn dayS-Andrew Johnson. a
Democrat. once president of the Unit
ed States. and Gustavus \. Henry, a
Whig known as the Eagle Orator of
the South" They ran against each
other for governor, and when long
series of joint debates had reached its
close Johnson addressed the Wings IN
the audience, II have spoken with the
boasted eagle orator from the Missis-
sippi river to the Unaka mountains,
and as yet see no flesh I'm his talons
nor blood on his beak." Quick as a
flash Henry was on his feet, saying,
The American eagle is a proud bird
and feeds not on carriou"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
usina the Fire Buckets.

In many business offices fire buckets
are placed, filled with water, i'm rcadi-
ness for an emergency. IL Is seldom,
says the Scientific American. that in
structions for use are pinned near the
supply. The wrong way to tackle an
inciplent fire Is usually TO hurl the
whole contents OF a bucket on the spot
Most OF the water is wasted 10y this
means. A heavy sprinkling is more
effective. The water may bc splashed
on the blaze by hand. hut more use
ful sprinkler is long haired white
wash brush. One OF these should hang
beside every nest Of flre buckets.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10

Main street has been repaired and
graded.
Miss Mabel Lincoln visited friends
in Manton recently.
Miss Matte Lincoln has accepted a
position in GeorgiaviIle.
Mitchell Theroux, who has been
sick has returned to work.
Miss Nellie Hurley has returned to
work after two weeks vacation.
Mr. and Mrs. Collins and family
have moved from Enfield to Still
water.
Miss Margaret Coughlin has return,
ed home after a weeks vacation at
Westerly.
George Doris has accepted a po-
tion as cook at the Brucker Hotel,
Providence.
Recently while Fred Thornton was
working around his barn he fell and
fractured a rib.
Mr.. Thomas Spruce and Mr.. John
Hacken have returned after week S
vacation In Maine.
Mr.. Arthur Durfee has been ap-
pointed to fill the vacancy caused by
Mr.. Kistle resigning.
Mr.. William Kistle has resigned
his position as foreman for Beattie
& Cornell at Enfield on account of his
wife's illness.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
Thev Don,t Like Ennerals.

If you want To know Just how
sensitive some Washington folks are.
listen 10 the reasons some of our ten
ants give for cauccllng their leases, -
said renting agent. "Ilcrc are the
complaints from five families who
want to move because they live on fu
neral streets \ lot OF people, II
seems, are sensitive about that. There
are certain streets I'm town those near
churches where many funerals are held
and those leading to the various Gene
tcrics which are usually travelled by
funeral parties. Houses 'ln those
streets are becoming poor Investment
There is moro moving from those
houses than from any others we have
anything 60 do with, and generally the
movers give rs the reason FOR their dis
satisfaction the fact that the sight Of
so many hcarscs gets on their nerves"
Washington Star.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
NORTH FOSTER

Mrs. Howard =, Sanborn is entertaining
her cousins Misses Lottic, Mildred and
IIortense Gerritt of Coventry.
Miss Ada Paine spent Tuesday and We'd
nesday in Providence.
Mr.. Fred Sphinx and Miss Albenier
Dumas were married Jan. /, 10y Rev. John
athan Eldrige.
Mr. Lomas b. Watson is confined 10 his
home by illness.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
The Arab,l Pride Of R,ood.

or the Arabs pride a traveller writes.
"lIc Is proud of his own blood and OF
his mares blood for its own sake lie
will show you broken down little
crock and inform You. with perfect
truth. that she IS of the best blood I'm
the Jazirah; he will also show fine
stallion of his own and tell YOU he is
'gdish.' or undcrbrcd animal. and there
IS no doubt IL iS the bad thoroughbred
he admircs aud prefers To the finest
made cross breed As regards his
shaykh and tribal leader, nc diSCrimi.
mates i'm an equal degree between the
clever warrior. astutc diplomatist and
good business man of low extraction
and the Shaykh Of high lineage. who
may he a miserable epileptical crca-
turc. and always TO the disadvantage
of the low born man"
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
The Sarauossans.

II is said that the queer composite
race of people that dwell upon the
wntcrloggcd hulks of the SaragoSsa
sea. In the mid-Atlautic, have a pretty
theory about death They believe that
those To whom the messenger comes
when the sun is shining brightly are
transported straight away to a heaven
Of warm fresh water only four feet in
depth. I'm which they may wade and
diSport themselves To all eternity. ON
the other hand, those who receive the
call of death I'm hours Of darkness
must needs endure probationary pc
riod before they can enter into the
future life. The Saragossans are In
addition firm believers in S~moni-
tions, omcnS aud Denominations.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
TRIMTOWN
The ice men are guessing.

The ice men are guessing.
Several choppers are employed at the
Farnum place.
Mrs. S. B. Atwood of North Scituate was
the guest of Mrs. A. o. Bates recently.
Miss Edith Tourtellorte of Providence
spent Thursday with her mother, Mrs. +.
+. Tourtellotte.
Mr.Henry Adams, resident OF this place
died at his sons home in North Scituate,
Thursday morning, He was veteran OF
the CivilWar and had been in feeble health
for a long time.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
t4eardinq

Hoarding is not only an economic
mistake. but an economic crime as
we'll. II Is. in faci. survival OF the
evil days Of NAL .1l,trltion. II
comes down to us fr,r. :hc time when
nearly ull govrrnmc. we're conquer
Or which considered themselves en-.
tilted to plunGcr their suhicrts Thus
hoaruiag &, founded upon dlstruSt OF
the government Statesman. Calcutta
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10

Bees Laxative Cough Syrup for coughs.
colds. Group and whooping cough grows
I'm favor daily with young and old.
Mothers should keep IL on hand for chill
dren. IL is prompt relief TO Group. IL Is
gently laxative, driving the poison and
phlegm from the system. IL Is n simple
remedy that gives immediate relief,
guaranteed.-Sold by T. +. GRADY, 1915
Westminster street.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
a Doubtful Assertion

Browne They say that drowning
men catch at st-'aws.
Towne-Yes. but doubt IL. I've seen
a number of men drown, and those Of
them who had any preference at all
seemed In favor Of a plank. In fact. 7
do not now recall ever having been
asked for a straw by a gentleman who
was drowning-New York Journal.
Pinesaivs CArbolizeo acts like q poul.
Antis0ptic, hsaiinO. .Fof chapps0. bands,
lipa c4ta 0uf1sc1sll By T. r. GRADY.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10

Rings Little Liver Pills wake up lazy
livers, clean the system and clear the
skin. Try them for biliousness and sick
headache. Price 25c.-Sold by T. +.
GRADY. 1916 Westminster street
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10
EHtraNlcant.

Kind Lady-If l give YOU this penny
what will YOU do with it? Beggar-
Hire a moto" cab and show me friend
Rigsby the town, ma'am.-Illustrated
Bits.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-01-10

r vou would not have attIiclI,n
3. you twice. listen nj once to what
',lchcS. Rogers.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-12-05
DEsERET EVENING NEWS SATURDAY. DECEMBER 5 1908

]. There { was a.. good supply from the
range country, and this week is opening
up With liberal offerings from Colorado,
New Mexico and Arizona The total.
supply today is 1900 head here. and
moderate elsewhere, general market ~
to Is higher, stockers and feeders ~ to
20 higher today. The good demand from
the country is a feature of the market.
shipments of stockers. and feeders from
this market last week totaling 550 car
loads The cause Of the decline in beef.
cattle prices last week was the IN
creased demand for poultry and game
during the holiday week. and the re-
action today was Il expected. \
train of Ballentine q Beggs Colorado
beef steers sold here today at $3.50, y
satisfactory price to the shippers a
few Colorado beef steers reached S55V
la st week, bulk at s4.40 TO S4.S5, stockers
today at s4.65, top Colorado cows to-
days $4.35, although COWS reached $500
last week. Colorado feeders range from
$500 TO s4S5, stockers $3.50 to S4.6o:
Wyoming beef steers last week at S4.sV
to $3.50. New Mexico, Arizona and Pam
handle beef steers bring $3.50 TO $500,
&stockers and feeders, S3,66 to "a, 40; COWS
1913 to $3.50; bulls, $3.50 to $500; calves,
$325 to $3.50. as few light veals are IN
Guided. The calf market is 20 to 90
cents higher today. Dealers figure on
moderate receipts and stronger markets
for the next few weeks.
Sheep and lamb receipts are moder-
ate, run $4,000 last week, 10000 here to-
day. The market was uneven last week,
but closed at the best point and
slightly above close of previous week.
especially on lambs. Lambs are again
higher today, top on fed lambs today
$685., highest price this fall. FED Sear-
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-12-05
Annual Service In Memoriam to
Be Held at Salt Lake
Theater.
FINE PROGRAM IS PREPARED
Musical Features Prominent in the
Numbers TO be Given by
Local Lodge.

III At the Salt Lake thGatef, the local
lodge Of Elks Viii hold memorial SER
\ vices in honor of the departed mem
bers on the evening of Dec.56 These
services are always beautiful and inn
pressive, and the event will be no OK
ception to the rule. Judging from the
number Of tickets which have been dis
Eributed by the officers of the lodge, the
theater will be packed.
During the present year IS members
have passed away, and it will be in
honoruf them and those who have gone
before to the great beyond that these
services are held.
Following is the program in full:
Orchestra, March Celebre,. 1895.
..s............i..r .......... 5..F. Laclner
Opening ceremonies
Ritualistic address. IA. ..........
.......... Exalted Ruler A. j. Davis
Roll call. ...Secretary A. w. Raybould
sJulogiStic .response.. James G.. Leary
81 Orpheus club. All. Peabody. lead
er, rendering Pilgrims chorus
from Tannhauserp during roll
call.
Ceremonial responses. -. ......3...-
Opening ODE
Great Ruler of the universe,
All seeing and benign,
j Look tlown upon and bless our work,
And be all glory Thine.
@ol,, hear our prayers, for the honored
5f dead
While bearing In olil, mind
b he memories craven on each heart.
ForaAuld Lang Syne.',
Program
Z Orchestra, "Angelus'' .... AIassenet
F Quartet, King of Love :. Shelley
Mrs a.. s. Peters, Miss b. NJ john
son. NJ. .. Brines. III. $. Ensign.
solo, Novaretll''.. ......... Gaunod
Fred r. Smith.
Reading, "Thanatopsis.,..
J s....J..,3.. William Cullen Bryant.
John p. Meakin.
Solo, These Are They" Cans
Mrs. A. S. Peters.
+ Orchestra. .AdaElo from Sonata
X 4. fi1ttilletiqale beethoven
Annual memorial address (.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-12-05

.............. I. Rev. Elmer j. Goshen
solo, Calvary Rodney t'
J. NJ. Bri1es, "a
Orchestra, THE Dmnipotence
Violin solo, "Traumerie''.. .schumann
E. u. Shelton.
Quartet, savior, When Night In
wolves the Sky 81 elley
Mrs. S. Peters, Miss b. M. john
son, NJ. ]. Brines. III. S. Ensign.
Closing Ceremonies
Ritualistic queries ....,. Exalted ruler.
responses. Officers of the lodge
Closing ode. Lodge and audience
Praise God from whom all blessings
flow.
Praise Him all creatures here below,
Praise Him above for all that's good,
Praise Him for our true brotherhood.
Benediction ............... Chaplain
Miss Loreen Leary, accompanies.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-12-05
WARDEN PRATT RETURNS.

Warden Pratt OF he state prison and
Mrs. Pratt have returned from attend
ance on the National Prison congress
bat Richmond, Va. Mr.. Pratt says the
people of Richmond We're very fospit-
able, and the hand of welcome was ex-
tended to them everywhere. He gained
much valuable information about deal
ing with criminals. and of the methods
adopted by various states in handling
criminal business. Mr.. Pratt was hon
ored by being made II director of the
congress for the coming year He said
he expected Majors and Sullivan would
attempt to escape, during his absence,
but was pleased to see the attempt had
been nipped in the bud.