The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-09-17
DRIFTWooD

There are times when a man likes to hold . jeweled hand but there are triple Kings and aces. " '' =
 Why does the rooster crow when the hen lays the egg? Straw hats are getting as scarce as the truth.
 aPaid in Fulr. has made A big hit in London. It also makes q big hit on 2 reeeipted bili with most any old cfeoitor.
 boil on the neck to deter Billy Bryan and you can put that in your pipe and Sometimes when man attends e blowout his wife gives him d blow up when he returns home.
 Gregori bss been acquitted for shoot ing Dreyfus. That man gets no jus tice whatever.
 great to be booted and spurred For he was knight. but now if young lover gets "booted or spufred" it's by her old dad whose anger is asserting Strenuous Teddy is certsiniy getting h training for his African lion hunt being thrown from his horse and nn- dergoing various other exciting ex- perlsnces.
 None but the brave deserve the fare" at some boarding houses. 70, One thing a physician likes in pa- tients is patience
 A few more days and the small boy will worry the life out of his dad ask books that the old man has forgot ten.
 Heaven would sound a lot more at- fountains and trsains stamps.
 When man says he practices scon- omy you can bet 1t Is usually In his wife's name.
 Well In the first place Birmingham ought never to have started in the last place
 Cheer up, kids, just think although vacation is over soon. you'll have the exquisite unailoyed pleasure of wailop-- ing the teachers bet after school hours.
 The reasor some people can trace they are dead and can't enter pro- test
 + Hoboken man invents hookless waist. Hall Hoboken and man. ,Ycu've un- hooked about the nnest proposition ever.-Atlanta Georgian.
 How do you know she's the finest proposition ever?
 A scientist says that it Is futile to attempt to eradicate alcohol in North tions demand such stinmiants. Now. our best guess Is that this fellow was bought over by the anti-prohibition men. To live. in Montgomery is. to live in a Land of Blonde and Brunette Angels l (Pass the cold creann,)
 Ain'f This the Llmitg Poor fellow; .,, What brought you to well, you see, mum; 1t was AD- | VERSE circumstances." .'Yessum: I used to be poet but there wuz no demand fer my work so | and for revenge tried to make them as bad as possible.
 Well. go on." bad that they run me in for maintain. Ing nuisance"
 4 great many rules for Kissing a | girl have been promulgated but none | of them ever advises that the kisssr | first get the klssee's permtsAion.--t3ir- | mingham Age-Herald. Il Certainly not-he'd be a molly-c cod dle if he did.)
 seas0nabIe Song. Take 1t up tenderly, Handle with care: Shake out the moth-balls. That perfume the air: Search through the pockets.
 In one at a time, In hopes that you might have left In 'em dime. Why Is it although you
 Search with such intent You never. no never.
 Can find there a cent? Why is it. say that,
 You can't find cent Save the scent If the rfoth-balls On your nostrils spent?
 -PHIL H. ARMSTRONG.
 Darts at Drift. I'll weave you song of face and That always see in dreams. And even by day when the south wind They're drifting before me it seems,
 Montgomery Advertiser. "A face and rose"-the printer i'as Another mistake. suppose; What the poet had meant to sing of in
 his song
 Was doubtless a face and a nose"
 Houston Post. nrif% ia uyifh ecu. T.ho |