davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
FATAL. ACCIDENT
WITH GUN

A very sad affair was the accident
nj shooting of young George Bur-
rjngton by his friend, George Johnson
on Saturday evening, last. The boys
were playfully tusselling for the pos"
session of revolver. CT the side
walk just below the old city hall.
when the gun was discharged, the
BULLET striking Burlington in the abb
dnmen. He was given Immediate
medical attention, ard CT Sunday eve
ming was taken to to the hospital
at Great Falls, whero he expired on
Monday at 1880 A M. His father is
an engineer running out Of Havre, his
mother and brother being residents
Of the city.
The remains were brought to Havre
on Tuesday mornings train.
This awful ending of young mans
career is another forceful illustra-
tion of the folly of carrying gun,
and there should be some means of
enforcing the law, and putting stop
10 the pernicious practice.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
NJ. CONFERENCE:
IN SESSION

Special correspondence to Herald
kalispel1, Aug. Is, 19Os.-The an
nual conference of the Methodist Ep-
iscopal church of the North Montana
Conference was held i nKalispell, Nom
tana, from August 18th to 10th.
Bishop Mcdowell, who was to pre-
side, was unable to be present on
account of the illness of Mrs. Nc
DoWell, who, however, is on the way
to recovery, and Bishop Lewis, who
was elected to the Bishopric at the
last general conference, presided.
Bishop Lewis is great-hearted,
sweet-spiritd, evangelistic man. All
were highly pleased with him as pre-
siding officer.
He will soon take up his residence
at Foo Chow, China, and his work will
be in the Orient.
This was the first conference session
OF the North Montana conference. The
conference was organized a year ago,
from Kalispell and North Montana
Missions, with membership of TWEEN
ty-flve ministers.
This year there was report of a.
bout thirty ministers, showing good
increase for the first year.
One of the valuable features of the
conference was it's 4 O'Clock evange-
led by Evangelist Van Marter of the
Oregon conference. He is indeed a
second Bro. Van," but he also in
ciudes many of the Billy Sunday fea-
| lures and in many places he is called
the Second Billy Sunday
These evangelistic meetings We're
well attended and there was splendi,
| interest manifested.
| DR.. S. O. Benton, recording secre-
tary of the Foreign Missions Society
| was present to represent that depart
ment OF the church and everybody wa
enthused with his address,
t. Tho Home Mission and Church Ex-
tension Soclsey was represented by
Alph G. Kynett and the Book Con-
Germ and Pacific Advocate by DR.. Ra-
der.
The reports Of the charges of the
conference show a good advance all
along the line. There is a large adj
vance in pastoral support, missions
membership, The church of the CO.
ferencne is rapidly growing.
APPOINTMENTS: -KALISPELL DIS
| TRlCT, O. IA. WHITE, supt.
Kaiispell--Rev. +. A. Armstrong.
IGlasgow--E. L. White.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
A REPUBLICAN
ORGANIZATION
Continued from page ono

Continued from page ono
S. K. Hudson, Thos. w. West, Chas.
Lawson and Fred Auerbach.
The secretary was appointed CON
mittee of one, with power to call for
help from other members to draw up
bylaws for presentation at the next
meeting.
A recess of five minutes was taken
for the purpose Of enabling the MEM
bers present to sign up for the new
organization.
DR.. Mckenzie who passed the list,
created a little fun by insisting that
the secretary of the Bryan and Kern
club who was present in the interest
OF the Herald, should sign the list.
Bro. Van begged off, and was given
thirty days time in which to consid-
er the matter. ..:,
1t was decided to postpone the Sc
lection OF the registration and poll
ing committee until the next meeting.
Alter the list had been signed,
there was some discussion as to ways
and means and matters of general in
terest, after which the meeing ad-
journed until Monday night, Angus.
Gath. .-r -...s
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
TT. Assir1niboir1e
Fort Assinniboine, Mont. Aug. L

Fort Assinniboine, Mont. Aug. Is.
Captain Geo. D. Freeman, End In
Camp D. s. Stanley, Murray, Ameri
can Lake, Washington, to assume COM
n1and of his company at maneuyrs
camp.
Lieut.. Walter o. Bowman is now in
command of the post, until thee re-
turn Of the troops from the maneuvr
It is likely that the Practice march
Of thu 2rf Bo+ta'ion End Infantry,
will take place in the state Of Wash
ington, instacd Of from Helena to Fl
Assinniboine as was contemplated.
No doubt the troops after the term
ination of the maneuvrees, will march
from American Lake to some point
in Washington, probably Spokane,
and return by rail direct to Assinni-
boine
Ordnance Sergeant James Title and
family have arrived at the post, ad are
nov at home in their new quart
erg.
Mrs. Yates, wife of sergt. Willis S.
Yates, ID eonyaIescing after her re-
cent illness and her early return from
Rochester. Mimi, Is eexpected.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
Thouuht lie Had Died.

A prominent member of a German
American society told u story about a
German friend Of his who was taken
i'll. For many days the German was
close to death, but after time he
showed improvement In condition. The
doctor told tho Germans wife that her
husband might have anything to eat
that he liked.
The German expressed a desire for
1imburger cheese, and the wife, being
a generous woman and pleased at the
improvement and in order that her
husband might have nibble at any
time he bad taste for 1t, put some
cheese la every room In the house. 1t
is easy to imagine the aroma.
The next morning the doctor called
at the house, and as soon as he opened
the door he asked:
aWhen did he die ?"-Hartford Post.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
How ii Works Out.

II never tell funny stories in my
speeches" remarked Senator Sor-
ghum.
.'The audience always enjoys them"
Eyes. A man hears you tell funny
story, and he thinks it is so good he
tries to remember it. He regards you
as a first rate fellow and feels thank
full to you for giving him new one.
Then he tells 1t TO the first friend he
meets, and as he isn't a good story
teller the friend doesn't laugh. Then
he tries it ON the hlase hotel clerk and
the sto1id drug store man and several
others, and by the time he gets home
he concludes you have passed him a
gold brick He not only refuses to
vote for you, but tells all bis friends
he doesn't think it's dignifled to keep
In Office man who tells funny sto"
ries."-Washingto Star.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
SnaIIed In Full.

1--WE had an editor in chief on our
paper years ago who was a sticlSler for
no authorizations" said veteran news
paper man. HE didn't believe in alb
breviating anything but the word mis-
Ter. The names of states had to be
spelled out. One time one of the boys
wrote news story which contained
this clause: And Rfozart's mass WIS
played The proofreader who got the
story had been under the exacting di-
rection Of that editor for years, toe
many years to a1lpw any proper name
DO get by him without being spelled
Out, so when he came to this mass he
Erung' the word, and 1t came cut Me
kart's Massachusetts, - Omaha Bee.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19

Epworth Piegan Indian Reservation
Il. A. Riggan, Supt.
Whitefish-W. 3. Young.
Libby and Troy-W. It, LAWN.
Pine Grove Circuit---T. J. Hazleton
Lureka--A. g. Snow.
Somers-Seymour Williams.
Columbia Falls-A. D. WEIGH.
HaVre-W. w. Listo.
Chinonok-J A. Hill.
Culbertsol and Mondak-Rev. Webbel
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19

Prof rToy informs us that owing
to the fact that the now exits now
being placed in the school houses
will not be completed by September
LIST, the schools will not open until
September Sth.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
rlz. ~ = p
Radical.

/ IT hear that your new school super
intendent is rather radical"
.tHe is that" responded Farmer
Haw. .He's cut out the higher head
work and the perforated tatthng, afd
he's advising teachers TO handle the
children according to the rules Of cam
mon sense. Oh, yesl Oursne super
mtendent Is radical, an right. Louis
VILE Courier ournal.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19

The African slave trade in Its pa1mi-
est days was poverty breeder com.
pared to the snap OF supplying jungle
yarns at dollar word.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19

That big feet headed for the orient
and the antipodes Is the very best tes-
ainsony that Uncle Sam means NO evn
amd anticipates none.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19

As rule the man who stops to fig
ure on what he needs most, his vaca-
ton or his money. finds the summer
gone before he reaches a decision.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
SHOWS FRAME
LARGE: TROUT

Continued from page one
eyes that Matt should be arrested, and
given ninety days, for not giving tho
Havre jobbers a fair shake.
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
inquisieive.

lnquisitivs. =
zone half Of the world doesn't know
how the other half lives" observed the
moralizer.
s.How provokingr' exclaimed Mrs
Gossyp
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
Ambiuuous.

Parishioner "a little worse for liquorS
II l1earsh you preazh las night.
New Minister-You didn't hear muchy
I fancy.
ssThaz what thought myself. Ion
don Pick-Me-Up
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
Relay Race

Relay race for purse Of $3.50 Five
miles to be run each day, changing
The Havre herald. [volume] (Havre, Mont.) 1904-1908, 1908-08-19
MohlTA1\
:: PROGRAM OF RACES ::

Three days racing. $teee in anFses.
We have a good haR mile txaak and
ample stable accommodation.
-Four to enter ALL races aza shree
to start
The Fair Association reserves the
right to substitute races In case Ehev
fail to fill Entries close o'clock
Of evening previous to the race
Entrance fee 10 per cent in al
races except relay race.
Evening star., 1908-12-13

sweeps across his crinkled face when the oppor
tunity for repartee comes his way 1t is constant
surprise to the unntiated when the biting, caustic
phrase issues from that singuary helpless express
sion. Yet those who have writhed under the Will
Jams whine know how much more deadly the ridl-
cule is because of its very incongruity with the
apparent personality of the author.
In a recent debate currency matters member
commented on Mr. Williams iconoclastic tendency,
by repeating:
Fools rush in where angels fear to tread
And suckers bite when whales have gone to bed.
The minority leader did not change the student
droop to his shoulders remove the hand from
back of his UNANIMOUSLY hampered left ear. He stood
his ground rather pathetic figure; but he made his
parry by mental twist that left his opponent
without foil in his stinging palm.
Mr.. Speaker, l have pleaded guilty to the
charge of being fool do not plead guilty to the
charge now; but if l continue during the rest of
my natural life to look little like fool the
gentleman does like an angel, shall be Solomon"
"Uncle Joe's" Thrusts
SPEAKER CANNON, too, won his parliamentary
~ spurs from successful fencing with which he
would charge upon prolonged debates or worry
futile oratory.
The most famous of his thrusts occurred at
time when chairman of the Appropriations
Committee he obliged to listen to interminable
TRADES against the horrible extravaganza that had
permitted the remodeling of the White House and
Evening star., 1908-12-13
And Proctor Knott

And Proctor Knott
TOHN PROCTOR KNOTT of Kentucky when he
} came to the Forty-frst Congress, ndulged in two
rest of his tenure a member trying to live down
his reputation congressional humorlst
The historic pellets of wit that he hurled against
a bill to provide for the paving of Pennsylvania
ave. which in 1870 of the consistency OF the
Nile seem to-day rather hard and wide of the
mark He aimed at the inert property owners
along that thoroughfare and vampirng office holders
who expected Uncle Sam to provide everything but
their millinery
''If all the benefits and paraphernalia of the Gov
scored, would you not feel like you had found "a
lodge in vast wilderness without the boundless
contiguty of shade? In ten years Pennsylvania
would be overrun with brown sedge, the fox would
make his den in the tangled thickets of Lafayette
Park. and the owl hoot at MONDAY among the
Speaker, if make this appropriation, we shall
be asked to appropriate salaries to the little
cast iron niggers that of these gentlemen
have put up in front of their houses to hitch their
horses to. Mr. Speaker, when l look upon one of
that noble army of martyrs our office holders,
and see him performing perhaps the only duty for
which he is fully competent-slgmng the receipt
for his monthly pay-I am overwhelmed with
pity for his miserable condition that wish l
in his place!"
On this, and his humorous invectiye against the
construction of a railroad from St. Crox River to
the west end of Lake Superior, rests the fame of
Proctor Knott, congressional humorist But his
witticisms seem to have been inadequate warfare
against the desire of the majority to see that i'm
pressive channel leading to the Capitol solidify
link between the rapidly developing wheat fields of
the then Northwest and the Great Lakes water
ways to the Eastern markets not left among
the ''undones" of his session
Evening star., 1908-12-13

and political grandstand, lies most formidable
weapon for self defense on the floor of the House
Speaker Reeds Caustic Wit
THE late Speaker Thomas B. Reed was noted
he dreaded for these unprecedented shafts
of wit No man ever engaged with him in con-
test of wit that did not regret his tener1ty OCca
sonally viewing himself through his
local representation with all the reckless audacty
of youth would hurl himself into the arena and
challenge this knight of caustic wit to moral COM
bat and Reed would fling out, in the most careless
and drawing and Indifferent manner, flaming
shaft of satire ridicule that pierced the COM
member and drowned him under the jeers and
laughter of the House
Most of the cheap bons mots attributed to Reed
in the political traditions of Washington are apoc-
rypha1. They represent an effort to supply pop
ularized demonstration of Reeds aphorisms and
cynicisms. But Reeds hunor subtle
and cruel and effective than it is possible to repro
duce, since it would require a preliminary deluge
of political explanation before the absolute patness
with which his scorching wit burned its way into
existing conditions can be appreciated and because
the tiny drops of poison that lurked on the tip of
each shaft owed its deadly result to the fact that
it was adapted solely for that particular victim
case. To understand the accuracy of this consti-
tutional treatment required background of biog-
raphy that would clog the joke.
At time member indulging in a whole
sale excoriatlon OF the procedure OF committee on
which Reed had served for years. Reed objected.
Il have some pride in the former history of that
eephantine from Maine in his apparently
rrninating style of phrasing; yet there white
light back of the faccid countenance that should
have warned.
But the peppery opponent did not include dis
cretion among his qualifications "Well, l have
pride in this speech l am making. and you are
destroying It'll he snapped.
Reed suggested big dog that lays puppy low
with single blow of his paw and calmly continues
his interrupted bone. he drawled The gentleman
should not worry because he is unable to finish his re-
Evening star., 1908-12-13


submit to it, and it to rescue to the Union
this town that brought on the war. Now if there
is member here who wishes to have his name
connected by future generations with that of Judas
Iscariot and Benedict Arnold, if he wishes to
have himself and his posterity pointed at with
scorn, if he desires to be despsed by and
Stunned by women, let him vote against this fish
hatchery at Tupelo and he will this Infamous
notoriety!'
And Private" John Aliens name was forever asso-
ciated with his Tupelo speech. 1nsistently the
House hailed him humorist whenever he rose
to speak.
Once when he sought permission to interrupt,
the member on the floor snapped back that he was
not particularly anxious to hear the views of
alleged funny man"
To which Allen whose resentment over this
forced category for his talents had probably grown
with each endeavor to serious hearing
reoined, "Once twice in my life, when l have
made great effort, have been able to say
thing amusing enough to a temporary laugh
among few people. But my distinguished friend
here said some things in the recent campaign that
the entire American nation has been laughing at
since.
The distinguished friend subsided while MI. Allen
acknowledged the salute of laughter that came from
the House and pursued his serious query in peace.
And this illustrates the really effective brand of
congressional humor. In the quick flash of repair
tee, very often caught by the gallery audience
at ALL at least not directed to the oratoria bleach
Evening star., 1908-12-13

marks. That tact could not
in any way interfere with
the symmetry of that pro-
duction, since any speech he
ever makes is just like ring
of bologna sausage,-youcan can
cut it off anywhere"
And the point of this barb
was doubly lancinating be-
cause the member it srnote
looked like a dachshund
rampant, and had kept a
delicatessen shop before the
successful issue of his cam
paign for Congress had made
him a gentleman and a states
man.
Evening star., 1908-12-13

oxidized he may make second entrance without
bells and carrying only heavy lines
Time will tell whether this congressional humor-
ist can change his spots. But it will be without
precedent.
Evening star., 1908-12-13
Don't Provoke John
Sharp Williams

TOHN SHARP WILLIAMS,
J the leader of the minority
on the floor of the House,
resorts frequently to the de-
fensive art of humorous re-
joiner, and the effects greatly
heightened by the bagpipe
cadence in his voice and the
bewildered look that always
Evening star., 1908-12-13
CONGRESSMAN Eddy's Retort

leagues on the floor, it noted that he looked
more like subject for limerick comic valen-
tine than was consistent with congressional dignity
Still he might have been dismissed in peace The
Uglest Man in the House, but that he persisted in
airing his views all occasions in way too aggres
sive for
The members proceeded to badger him into re-
trement; until on one occasion voice from the
back of the chamber called out, THAT isn't the
way the gentleman from Minnesota talked on the
stump before election. He looks to as if he
two faced.
Whereat Eddy swung about and in a solemn
impressive tone, exclaimed, 1.-Two faced! My
Lord! does anyone suppose I'd wear this face if |
had another?"
And The Ugest Man in the House" henceforth
found his views met, if not with Difference, at least
with tolerance and without taunting interruption
Had Certificate of Health
CULLIE ADAMS of Wisconsin, who always looked
~ as if each day was to be his last on earth, and
surely on the floor of the House, made the hit of his
congressional career by touch of grim humor on his
emaciated appearance. He was arguing against
the free importation of Philippine cigars men
ace to home industry, and protesting that the
Philippine brands not so nerltless as popu-
larly supposed and in fact might easily rival our
own cheap grades.
Old General Grosvenor and asked with his
sarcastic infection and significant shudder, Has
the gentleman from Wisconsin ever tried any of
these cigars?'
Several" promptly affirmed Adams, and then,
with grin playing over his wasted face he added,
And l can produce physicians certificate that
Evening star., 1908-12-13
The Defender of Tupelo

DRIVATE" JOHN ALLEN
I of Mississippi drew prod
igally from his supply of
humor when in the Fifty
sixth Congress he presented
in clever burlesque the
righteous claims of his micro
scopic metropolis of Tupelo
as the center of enough ma
tional Importance for the
establishment of a Govern
ment fish hatchery. Colum-
bus and Ponce de Leon were
trying to find Tupelo when
they accidentally discovered
America, he affirmed grave
ly, and continued:
When Horace Greeley
and others sought Mr.. Lin
coin and asked him to let
the wayward sisters depart
in peace he shook his head
and said, No, this secession
takes from the United States
T.~1o @-I will
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-06-04
PROCLAMATION.

The county judges, mayors and pres
idents OF boards of trade In the va
rious counties of the congressional
districts bordering on Red river are
hereby requested TO appoint twenty
FIVE delegates from their respective
Jurisdictions to the first annual con-
vention of the Congressional Red
River improvement association at
Shreveport Juno ~ and 20. 1908. They
are further requested to report the
names of the delegates they appoint
to Mr.. Louis N. Brueggerhoff, secI@
tary, Shreveport convention commit
tee, Shreveport, la. 1t is TO be hoped
that large and enthusiastic att rd-
ance from every section OF the Red
river valley will be present at this,
the most important meeting evsr
held In the interest OF Red River.
BY order OF the Congressional Red
River Improvement association and
Shreveport convention committee.
Representatives w. b. Cravehs and
Minor Wallace. Arkansas; ]. q. RAns.
dell, A. p. Pujo and J. T. Watkins.
louisiana; c. ID. Carter and Scott
Ferris, Oklahoma; G. B. Rand oil
Jno. II. Stephens and Morris Shep-
pard, Texas; A. Queries, chairman.
and Louis N. Brueggerhoff. secretary,
Shreveport convention committee.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-06-04
SOCIAL CAL LENDAR.
Tuesday.

Tuesday.
Home Mission society at Broadway
Methodist church.
South Ardmore Baptist Aid meets
at the church.
Carter Avenue Aid meets at the
church.
Episcopal Guild meets with Mrs.
Charles Miner.
Broadway Baptist Aid meets at the
church.
Christian Aid meets at the church.
Mrs. Halmcs' dancing class.
Wednesday.
Prayer meeting at all churches.
Kosmos club meets.
Mothers club meets with Mrs. w.
A. Ledbetter.
Ferndale Review club meets with
Mrs s. A. Douglas.
Merrie Wives with Mrs. Gray.
Bible study class with Mrs. w. b.
Frame.
Y. ". c. \. with Mrs. Frank Little.
Thursday.
Baptist picnic.
Foreign Mission society Of Broad
way Methodist church meets with
Mrs W. =. Poland.
Lovenstein musicale at Christian
church.
w. c. r. U. meets.
East Ardmore Presbyterian Aid
meets.
Lawrence Chapel Aid meets.
Ladies' day at the Elks' club.
Friday.
I.owcnstoin musicale.
Choir practice.
Glce club with Miss Hanna.
Sweet Sixteen club meets.
Saturday.
ST. Agnes Academy entertains at
opera house.
Circle 40. Of Broadway Metho'
dist church entertains with Mrs. \,
G. Noble.
Church markets.