The Cairo bulletin. (Cairo, Ill.) 1???-1928, 1908-07-27
CAUSED A RUMPUS
STORY OF ONE SMALL DOG AND
ONE UMBRELLA
Mrs. Mclntosh's Minoedness
and Puppy's Ability for Making
Trouble Sadly Disturbed the
Peaceful Congre cation.

We had a little excitement in our
church few Sundays ago. Mrs. NC
lntosh Is remarkable for her singular
absence OF mind DR. Potts, the preach.
er, was reading from the Scriptures
The account of the deluge, and when
he came to the story of how II rained
for so many days and nights Mrs, Nc
Intosh became so deeply absorbed In
the narrative and so strongly inn
pressed with 1t that she Involuntary
put up her umbrella and held 1t over
her head as she sat In the pew
Mrs. Butterwick, who sits in the
next pew in front, always brings her
dog TO church with her, and when Mrs.
Mcintosh suddenly raised her umbrel-
la the action affected the sensibilities
Of Mrs. Butterwick's dog in such a
manner that he began to bark furious
w. Then the sexton came in and tried
70 remove the animal, but 1t lodged
into a vacant pew on the other side OF
the aisle and dehed him. barking oil
the time most voeiferously.
Then the sexton became indignant
and flung hymn book at the dog;
whereupon the dog flew out and bit
him on the leg. The hubbub in the
church was by this time, OF course.
something simply dreadful Not only
was the story OF the deluge interrupt
ed, but the wicked boys in the gallery
actually "sicked" the dog at the sex
ton. and seemed to enjoy the contest
exceedingly.
Then Deacon Jones came after the
dog with his walking stick: whereupon
The animal actually dashed toward the
pulpit, and ran mp the steps In such a
fierce manner that DR.. Potts all at
once mounted on the chair to get out
Of the way of the beast, and he said
that If this disgraceful scene did not
soon come to an end he should dismiss
the congregation. Then Deacon Jones
crept up the steps, and after short
struggle he seized the dog by the hind
leg and walked down the aisle with
him. the dog meanwhile yelping with
supernatural energy.
Mrs. Mcintosh turned around 10
watch the retreating deacon, and as
she did so she permitted her umbrella
TO droop over so that the end Of one of
the ribs caught In Mrs. Butterwicks
bonnet. A minute later, when she
Strengthened up the umbrella, the bon
net was wrenched off and hung dang
ntttt ar
wick had become exceedingly warm,
at any rate, over the onslaught made
against her dog, but when Mrs. Mcln-
tosh removed her bonnet she fairly
boiled over and turning around white
witt rage. she screamed.
"What did YOU grab that bonnet for.
you green-eyed catamount? Amt you
made enough fuss In this yer taber.
nacle to-day skeer1ng poor, innocent
dog, without snatching off such bon
nets as the likes of you can't afford to
wear. no matter how crazy you are,
you red.headed lunatic YOU, You let
my bonnets alone, or III warm you
with this paraso, even If 1t is In meet.
ing. now mind me-"
Then Mrs Mcintosh seemed to rea-
I've that her umbrella made her con
spcuous, so she furled II and conclud
ed to go home. And as she stepped
into the aisle Mrs. Butterworth gave
her This parting salute:
"Sneakng off before the collection,
too. You'd better spend less for Jew
elry and give more 10 the poor heath.
EN-, IL you don't want to ketch Il here
afteHr 4a
Then she began TO fan herself furi-
ously. and as things became calmer
DIR. Potts resumed the story Of the
food
Mrs. Mcintosh has moved into a
back pew, and because the deacons re-
quested Mrs. Butterworth TO leave her
dog AT home she has seeded from the
PresbyterIans. and she now declares
that the Lutheran faith is the only re-
ligion for heT.-N. Y Weekly.