Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1908-12-17
Mr.. Dooley on the West Virginia Election

change thin if he knew / was COM
plainin? !? No, Hinnisy, I niver kick
whiD l go up agin brace game an
lose; an if tn Ca ards ARE stacked
an me eye amt good enough to beat
1t, | take off me hat an make as much
noise as tn fac.try whistles ARE
maxim since Taft was illicted.
Besides, l take too much pride In
me state to grumble, dye think l am
unmindful av' tn great honor bestow-
ed on me fellow citizens ? Here we
ar're, Hipnisy with two rulers, whin
other states older an bigger only have
wan. Besides Guv nor Glasscock, who
was illlcted be tn intelligent, honest
an con-she-inshus vote av Mercer
Mcdowell, Fayette an other counties
av' tn peaceful an refined valley av
Tug River an thin we have tn Juke
av Randolph, nee Sinator Elkins, (who
Casey sez is an ixcellent judge av' New
Mexico horsefesh) to guide and pro.
tect US, when we pay our yearly visit
to Italy.
ut was great iliictshun, Hinnisy,
an if, as Bill Bryan sez, tn peepul
didn't rule, tn counties did; but it
was close an Uncle Steve nearly lost
out. Ye see such counties as Ohio,
Ma 'arion, Cabbell an Wood votes for
Binnitt because they ar re made up av
narrow minded undesirables, who ar re
thryin' to ruin tn country an don't
believe in payin' Uncle Steve's bonds.
They have been plottin agin the guv.
ernmint 80 their con-shunce is undher
a great strain an they figured out that
as long as they kept together they
would succeed, but If they were com
pellled to associate with the Booker
Washingtons iu tn ca.ars an such,
their secrets would soon be found out.
So what do they do : They get up in
tn mornin' before daylight, sneak to
tn voting places an fill tn boxes with
votes agin Uncle Steve's agent.
"But they overlooked tn Black
Belt, Hinnisy, an tn gaallant la ads
who cast tn ballots there. Follow me
for about tin minutes an Ill paint ye
a pic'tu that would bring the blush
av' shame to tn cheek av livery trait.
or who liver thrled to break tn rule
av' tn Juke av' Randolph.
Down in tn pa'atriotic sectshun
av' tn Black Belt sv' West Vrrginny
there live community av' men (bar-
rim few wbose livery thought an
wur'r I'd an deed is wan av' love for
tn state they adopt-over night.
Shaded in color like unto tn resi-
dent manager av' carbon black fac
try, with dllated nostrils that draw in
tn air iv freedom with tn same sub
lime understandin as a Rocky Noun.
tain Goat does; gifted with smooth an
graceful lips that remind ye Gf ye
ar're av' a poetic natshure) av tn
curves on th B. & o. R R.; hair
rich in kinks an curls that compeet
with tn cast off shoes for plasteriu'
purpose honors; an a massive, thick
an sthrong skull not unlike, in re-
qistin' powers.tO tn Chinese Wall and
which holds in tact power for. good
brain that contains as much reasopin'
power as bottle does that is marked
Hsinzes May-Nose Dressin.
Excuse me Hennisy, if grow IL
liquent in describin this noble race
me heart bleeds for THIN whin l think
av' tn great sacrifice they make in
persarvin tn honor av our state
but I'll proceed.
"Gifted be natshure 6sically, they
run from four foot three to six foot
ate in height an livery tin in a band
av' twiuty look as much alike as our
city wa'ater does to tn raw material
In brick plant.
"These high minded people live to-
gether, forty an more, in nine be tin
rooms, with tn same peaceful har.
mony that we less favored citizens
experience, whin wur'rkin between
two barron Photographs.
"Wur'rds fail me whin l thry to
presint the thrue condishuns to
banner head, like yourself.
From tn first meal sv' tn day,
composed aV' hawg an liker, to tn
lash, wan made up av' corn pone an
whiskey. these trail blazers av' in.
tegrity often wur'rk ss much as two
days out av' a week that their chill
ders may have college an university
educstchuDs, an from religious pint
av' view, they ARE Christian pio-
neers-they cling to tn original style
sv' dress SO fashionable in Adam an
EYES time.