davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The log cabin Democrat., 1908-07-09
SMALL THING HE FORGOT.
May Have Accounted for Ills Proposai
 Being Turned Down.

Senator Beveridge described, at dinner, an absent-minded farmer.
 "The man was so absent-minded, he said, that he couldn't open his mouth without making an arrant ass of himself.
 "Once he courted a young woman. His suit looked promising for a time. Then, with a sorrowful visage, he ceased his courtship.
 "'Yet she seemed infatuated with you, Jabez,' said l, one day when he came to me for sympathy
 "'She were, too Jabez agreed.
 "'Well, what could have been the trouble?'
 Dunno said he. He filled his pipe Dunno; but when l perposed, she turned me down cold
 Perhaps your proposal wasn't ard ent enough?' I suggested.
 "'Oh, it was fiery said Jabez. Hot as pepper. I told her she was the only woman I'd ever loved, ever looked at. ever thought of, or
 But, said I, you forgot, then. you were a widower'
 "Jingo,' said Jabez, so l did,"
The log cabin Democrat., 1908-07-09
DOCTOR SAID USE cUTIcURA"
In Bad Case of Eczema on Child Disease Had Reached Fearful State-His Order Resulted
 in Complete Cure.

"When I was small I was troubled with eczema for about three months. It was all over my face and covered nearly all of my head. It reached such state that it was just large scab all over, and the pain and itching were terrible. I doctored with an able physician for some time and was then advised by him to use the Cut'cura Remedies which I did and I was en- tirely cured. l have not been bothered with it since. I used Cuticura Soap and Cuticura Ointment but do not know exactly how much was used to complete the cure. l can safely say that Cuticura did a lot for me. Miss Anabel Wilson, North Branch, Mich, Oct 20. 1907"
The log cabin Democrat., 1908-07-09
The Word of Excuse.

Ascum-Ive often wondered what of expediency.
 Wise-Usually it means that his di- plomacy has failed.
The log cabin Democrat., 1908-07-09

Mrs. Frank Stroebe, R. F. D. l, Applet ton, Wis.,, writes: "I began using Peru na.a few months ago, when my health and strength were all gone, and l was nothing but a nervous wreck, could not sleep, eat or rest properly, and ielt no desire to live. Peruna made me look at life in different light, as l began to regain my lost strength.
 "I certainly think Peruna IS w1thous a rival as a tonic and strength builder.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30
NOVELIST IN LOW ESTEEM.
washington Starr


Among many odd characters whom
Miss Kate Sanborn saw and studied
with observing eyes in California was
a blunt old man who sat beside her at
the hotel table. He resented il that she
did not do as much as he thought she
should for the public entertainment.
Finally one day he boldly addressed
her:
"Ahem. I hear you can be funny"
There was no response, and he NUT
tered to himself.
Il don't much believe she can do any
thing. Don't look like it," And then to
me:
We'll, now, if you can be funny, why
don't your"
l could not help laughing.
Yes, if you can, you ought to go into
the parlor every plight and show what
you can do, and amuse us. Why, told
Quilletts-you know bout Outlets?
Awfully funny Teller; good company,
you see. Says I. Outlets. l like you.
Now if you'll stay here I'll give you a
cottage rent free all summer, but you
must agree to be funny every night
and keep the ball a-rollin'' Now we
want you to get up and do somethin' to
amuse the guests. We want to be
amused; somethin' that will set us
laughin'."
"Mr. Brushwood." said 1, II under
stand you are a dealer in tobacco?"
Yes, mum, and you won't find finer
tobacker anywhere in this world than
what's got my name on it,"
We'll, when / notice you freely dis
tributing tobacco in the parlor evenings
I'll follow on behind you and try TO
amuse as a condensed circus. I'm not
lacking in philanthropy. 1 only need
to be reused by your noble example and
sustained by your influence"
He looked disguised, grunted his dis
approval, backed his chair out from the
table, and muttered, as he left the din
ing room:
shes a queer duck, Don't amount
to much anyway. Impudent. too"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30
KERN SCORCHES
THE PRESIDENT
People of America Have Right
to Choose Servants With
out Official Influence.

Kalamazoo. Mich. Sept. 29.-"The
people of America will. in my judg-
ment. demand the right to choose their
servants free from official influence
and effort of a president who goes al
most to the point. of violence in insist
ing that he be allowed to name his own
successor"
John w. Kern, Democratic vice pres
idential candidate, before a crowd that
filled the big Academy of Music here
thus asailed President Roosevelt to-
night for his participation in the ma
tional campaign. He continued:
The president and his array of Off
cial retainers having triumphed in the
convention, many supposed that the
two great political parties would be
permitted. under the leadership of their
respective candidates, to go before the
country and in the usual way decide
the issue. But il seems that the spirit
of civil service reform has taken its
flight to return no more during the
administration. Not satisfied
with the conduct of the campaign by
the lawfully designated authorities of
his party. the president has again
thrown himself into the breach, thrust
stick than usual is striking out in
every direction. Columns of vituper-
atiye Nominations are coming from
the White House almost daily, and the
spectacle of the president of a great
republic-the president of all the people
engaged in the work usually per-
formed by the lower grades of politi-
clans, is calculated to cause the fair-
minded, patriotic citizen tc pause and
consider.
by his own conduct as public SER
want he invites all office holders again
to disregard the civil service laws. and.
following his example, devote their
time and abilities to party success
rather than TO the service of the public.
Having dictated the nomination of his
successor. he now undertakes to force
his choice upon the people by course
which is at utter variance with all pre-
cedent- and not tolerable in free gov
eminent"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30
TOfturing Animals
to Assist Science
Is a Cruel Method to Follow, but 1t
Has Saved Many Human Lives.

Professor Pawlow of Russia was en-
gagged Tor many years in experimental
work. trying to learn the workings of
digestion. especially the digestive glands
He, with able assistants. operated upon
dogs. cats. guinea pigs and other ami
mails.
His methods were seemingly painful
but he gave to science a work which
won the Nobel prize and made for him
an undying fame.
Science penetrated the secrets of nature.
Professor Pawlow saw animals digest
food. He analysed juices from every part
of the digestive canal and stomach I'M
der all conditions of digestion. He spent
years of ceaseless study amid the howl
ing and dying beasts. but he won, and
science today looks upon him as a great
man.
TO do great right do a little wrong
Shakespeare said. and Professor PawIow
obeyed this trite saying.
Stuart's Dyspepsia Tablets are prepared
by the most scientific process. They are
produced by modern appliances. and meet
the demand of twentieth century chem
istry.
They give man the means TO correct his
infirmities OF stomach and digestive or
gnns.
They enrich the blood. give nature the
Juices and fluids she lacks. stop the for
nation of noxious gases and the fermen-
tation of food. They ncutralize powerful
acids and aIkalies. which irriTate and de-
YOUR the stomach. They prevent and re-
lieve bowel and intestinal trouble and
soothe the nerves.
They should be used after every meal
whether one has dyspepsia and stomach
trouble or the stomach be natura ;ly
healthy. BY their use one may eat at all
hours and whatever one desires and they
help the system digest or throw off such
food. They are thoroughly meritorious
as their tremendous sale and popularity
illustrate.
Every drug store has them for sale.
price so cents per package. If you would
like to test their merits free. send us
your name and address and we will send
you trial package by mail without cost.
Address F. A. Stuart Co, 80 Stuart Bldg,
Marshall Mich.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30
Failed to See Improperly.

I'm the support of these principles
and the hope of this progress, I saw
then no improperly in enlisting as far
as practicable the assistance Of the
most progressive administration and
the most intelligently differed corpora
ton that human intelligence has yet
produced. Nor has the enormous body
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30


marked differences between them re-
peated here will not come amiss.
The species commonest throughout
our own local water is, of course, the
big mouthed .Iicropterus salmOides,
and yet scme smail-mouthed bass, Mi
cropterus dolomieu, have been taken
from the Cedar, the Loup and the
Rawhide. This fish prefers the cold
running streams 1t has smaller scales
than the big mouthed, there being elev-
en- rows between the lateral line and
the fin, while the big-mouthed has but
eight rows of scales between the same
points. The scales of the small
mouth are much smaller on the oper-
Gle. breast and back of neck than on
the side OF the fish, and on the cheek
they are minute. The scales of thu
laree-mouth are little, if any, smaller
on the breast, back of neck and gill
covers than on the sides of the body
The notch between the spinus and soft
rayed dorsal is deeper in the large
than the small-mouth.
As to the game qualities of the two
species there is a difference of opinion
Many anglers hold, and am one Of
them, that pound for pound. there is
so little difference in their activity
when on the hook, that il would take
the most refined connoisseur, indeed.
TO distinguish ii. Others contend again
that the plymouth is not in ii with the
small--nouth as fighter. Some years
ago a prominent Omaha fishiculturist.
in talking to me about the black bass
in our lakes and streams, said it was
barely possible that they were a cross
between the large and small-mouth.
but | have never been able to learn
anything further on this theory. and
am totally ignorant whether the two
fishes will cross or not but / do not
believe they will, but 1 do not believe
they are even more distinct in species
than the muskellunge and great north
ern pike.
The Nebraska fishermen know that
the plymouth bass thriveS finely in
waters with mud bottom, wherein are
tules, cane, rice and flags. but we. who
are at all familiar with the small
mouth, know that it delights in clear,
cold waer, with bottom of rock, grav-
el and clear sand, or resorts along in
July and August to the tall grasses
that spring up at the bottom of the
deepest streams. The large-mouth, If
surrounded by as favorable conditions
as to habitat as the COOL rushing
streams is for the small-mouth, it
might be universally thought to be as
great q fighter-Which l think il is
under any conditions-as is the small
mouth. But / am stretching this out a
little beyond the space L have allotted
for it, and will wait until another Sun
day, when 1 will tell you exclusively
what / know about the small-mouth.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30

or statutory crime since created or the
nypocritical affectation of morality as
sum7d by some of our legislators and
congressman in any way changed my
point OF view or quickened. by con-
science or expediency, as seems to have
been the case with some of my former
colleagues and associates.
The constituencies that they repre-
sent do not hesitate to take Mr. Car
negie's trust-produced and tariff-pro-
tected money for their churches and
libraries or to accept Mr.. Rockefeller's
large donations for the education of the
negro whom they have disfranchised
If political campaigns are to be run
without morey and political progress
is TO be achieved without financial ex-
penditure. it is high time that both
parties should be appraised of that
Ethiopian period, but until that period
has arrived 1 can see no reason why 1,
when battling for what / conceived to
be the right, should decline 10 accept
the support. whether financial or per-
sonal, OF which / stood in need. Men
may die. but right principles persist.
and i'm the end they will triumph.
Says South Is ThrottIed.
Il believe the south. and especially
the state of South Carolina, is today
throttled in it's natural progress and
its intelligent exercise of the right of
self-government by an oligarchy which
keeps alive the prejudices of a past
generation through the perpetuation of
ignorance and corruption and I shall
welcome the day when the educational
propaganda, which can only be spread
by the use of money. whether it be
Standard Oil maney or railroad money
or any other money save that derived
from the governmental sale of whisky.
will enable the people to see more
clearly their own best interests and
cast out those leaders whose hypo-
critical morality and ill-disguised sNf-
ishhes is responsible for the fact that
in the south iliteracy is greater
and the increase of wealth slower than
in any great section of the Union.
1T is the fashion of present-day po-
litical hypocrisy to decry the corpora
ton. TO abhor the trust and to pretend
in public life to prescribe the influence
of wealth: but as in this country ana
in this age wealth is, and must be- the
reward of intelligence, I am not will
ing to be considered among those cow
ardly enough to deny II the influence
its intelligence. has always exerted
under every form of government thus
far devised. OF the government of ig-
norance I have had enough in my ma
tive state. 1 hope for, and shall con-
tinue to work for, a government Of in
telligence.
(Signed)
JOHN LOWNDES MLAURIN."
Senator McLaurin has been in New
York a day or two and is leaving to-
morrow for South Carolina. He said
he had nothing to say beyond what
was contained in the foregoing signed
statement.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30
A DOCTORS DIAGNOSIS.
washington Starr

Professor Koch, the famous investi-
gator of sleeping sickness, said of an
old-fashioned doctor alta musical given
New York:
Yes. DR.. Blanks methods were old
fashioned. prosy, pompous. nonsensical.
You know. at Heidelberg they tell
story about him-a story in illustration
of his way of working.
"A man, according to the story, fell
over a cliff in an automobile and a
steel bar eight feet long was ran
through his body so that three feet of
the bar protruded from his stomach
and three feet from his back.
DIR. Blank was sent for. He looked
at the spitted patient and said:
"'Where is the complaint
1T is in my stomach. SIR was the
reply.
How did it happen?'
1.-The man explained the accident in
detail
Humph-' said DR.. Blank. AS to
hereditary, did any members of your
family ever suffer a similar accident?'
No, sir, none the patient an
swered.
Very good, said DR.. Blank. You
see, we require knowledge of all these
details in order to form a correct dag
nosis. So far, so good
HE looked at the patient thought
fully.
You find some difficulty in lying on
your back?' he said.
L can't lie on my back at all, sir
land 1 suppose you are no easier on
the stomach
oh, no.
=" In short said DIR. Blank you are
most comfortable on your side?'
eyes, sir. That is the only posi-
ton. to tell the truth. that 1 am able
to maintain
Exactly said the doctor. in a tri-
umphant voice. We have now only to
settle upon the treatment. Here is the
case in nutshell: Either we leave the
bar where it is. in which case infiam-
nation will set in and you will proba-
bly, die, or We extract it, an operation
that is likely TO prove fatal. Your fate
sir. is in your own hands. Please de-
eide which course you will adopt
Chimney Sweep Is Back.
Griffin, office King Hdw Co. Phones.
The Best Printing.
Is done by The Century. Salt Lakes
nrinterc 16S-1fT South West Tonpla
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30
Mrs. winsIow's Soothing syrup.

has been usec for YEARS by MILLIONS
OF MOTHERS for their CHILDREN
WHILE TEETHING, with PERFECT
SUCCESS. II SOOTHES the CHILD
SOFTENS the GUMS. ALLAYS all
best remedy for DIARRHOEA Sold bv
Druggists In every part of the world. Be
sure and ask for Mrs. Winslow's Sooth-
twenty-five cents a bottle. GUARAN-
TEED UNDER THE FOOD AND DRUG
ACT. JUNE 20. 1906. SERIAL NUMBER
1885
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30

The Best Printing.
Is done by The Century, Salt Lakes
printers. 165-167 South West Temple.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30
THE TWO VERSIONS.

ILlpplncOttS MagazIne.y
At a dinner during the recent Epis-
copal convention at Richmond a young
lady sitting near the bishop of London
said to him:
Bishop, l wish you would set my
mind at rest as to the similarity or dis
similarity between your country and
ours on one point Does the butterfly
because the tomato CAM"
The bishop laughed heartily at this
vivacious sally. Not so young Eng
,ishman of his party, who. after dinner,
sought his host.
II want to know, you know" said he.
about that joke of Miss BIS She
asked if the butter flew because toma-
toes could. Pray tell me what the point
it,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30
HALF FARE EXCURSIONS
For Conference, Eisteddfod and State
Fair Via D. G. r. G. r. r.

One single fare for the round trip
from all points in Utah. From Ogden.
Silver City. Bingham and all interme-
date points tickets will be sold Sept.
80 to Oct. 10, limit Oct H. All other
points except Cisco, Sept. 20 to Oct. g.,
limit 18th.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30

Chimney Sweep Is Back.
Griffin. office King Hdw. Co. Phones
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30
Can You Sleep?

II you can't. or If your brain seems
clouded. then We will cure you with
Sexine Pills or it will not cost you a
cent. Don't throw away your money
on other medicines when 81 to S. worth
of Sexine Pills is all you need to make
your nerves strong and steady. Ad-
dress or call F. J. Hill Drug Co., .sThe
Never Substitutors.' corner Second
South and West Temple streets.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-09-30
EXPOSURE FAILS
TO BRING BLUSH
Former Senator MCLaurin of
South Carolina Tries to JUS
tify His Conduct.
TRUST COIN LOOKED GOOD
HENCE HIS ATTEMPT TO TOUCH
JOHN D. ARCHBoLD.

New York. Sept. 29.-Ex- United
States Senator John L. McLaurin of
South Carolina tonight gave out the
following signed statement regarding
the correspondence between himself
and John d. Archbold, vice president
OF the Standard Oil company. as re-
Gently made public by w. r. Hearst:
An effort has been made to create
political sensation by the publication
OF certain correspondence between
John d. Archbold, vice president of the
Standard Oil company. and myself
For that correspondence have no apol-
ogies TO make. At the time the letters
were written 1 had the honor toNenjoy
and am proud still to have the friend
ship of Mr.. Archbold, for whom / have
the highest regard. At the time the
letters were written l was engaged in
a bitter struggle. i'm which was in
volved not only my own political fu-
ture. but the economic and political
principles for which / stood and which,
stated briefly. meant the emancipation
of the south from the ignorant preju-
dice of Bourbonism and the bloody
shirt" into the freedom of an enlight-
ened south and the progress of an in
telligent indiVidualism.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-01-03

CHICAGO. Jan. "A National Bu.
reau Of Health for the regulation OF the
Peoples Physical Welfare, planned by
the leading specialists Of the United
States and indorscd by President Roose
yelt, may take 4. place in the Federal
departments Of the government within
the year. through the efforts Of the
American Association for the advance.
ment OF Science.
The ultimate reduction OF the death
rate in America by one.halt Is TO be
the aim OF the new governmental board,
and it Is deemed a promise not impos'
siblc Of fuliillment.
Plans for the bureau were announced
yesterday at the University of Chicago
by Professor Irving Fisher, the Yale
University economist and chairman of
the committee OF 100 distinguished
scientists who have had charge Of the
undertaking. The membership Of the
committee includes leaders in the var
ious branches OF the medical and social
sciences for the important universities
and other ccntcrs OF the country.
The educators have been assured that
the first steps in the organization Of the
health bureau viii be taken at the
present session Of Congress. and the
president has sent his personal encour-
agement and Endorsement to the com
mittee According TO Professor Fisher,
II Is believed probable that President
Roosevelt will send special message
to Congress this month on the subiee..
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-01-03
CONTINUED from page %

ored public men In our country. one OF
Pennsylvania most eminent sous, tna
present Senator nnd then Attorney Gen
eral Knox. that the New Departure Was
begun"
Thi. frank and hearty declaration
from the President himself settles the
relations Of Senator Knox TO the great
movement for national control and regu
lation. n that Is the paramount ques
tion OF the day, as IL generally believed,
II the Presidential election IL to turn on
the support Of the Roosevelt policies on
this subject aud their maintenance along
practical lines, then the uttcrance Of th,
President and the unmatched record Of
Senator Knox made him the logical sue
cesaor. In some quarters he has beeh
hccdesay spoken OF as ractionary be.
cause he Is rational This chapter !.
the conclusive answer. Reaction Is re-.
ycrsal. II comes from opposition. No
man Is reactionary ms regards his own
fixed AMI settled principles, The prin.
clpes Of the Roosevelt policies ARE the
principles Of Senator Knox. lie formu
lated them and framed their legal
bounds. and he thoroughly believes In
their fundamental object OF public JUS
tice and corporate regulation.
Senator Knox has not only the con
yictions hut the attributes to make 4
strong President for these times and
these demands. Ifc was vigorous and
successful administrator In his Depart.
mcnt. lie worked quietly but accom-.
plishcd great results. lie has poise.
reflection and judgment, lie has the
judicial temperament and balance. Since
the retirement Of Senator Spooner he
has been advanced 20 the place Of that
very able leader and Ia recognized a'
tho weighticst man In the Senate for
large constitutional and legal discussion
lie hns every fitness for President, and
the strength OF his position for this
emergency must as II comes to be realiz-
ed more and more impress the country.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-01-03
! ROSE HURT HER TEETH.
Lion in Bronx Zoo Creates Much Ex-
citement.

NEW YORK, Jan. 2.-Rose. mother or
grandmother Of practically all the lions
in the Bronx Zoo. created an immense
amount OF excitement for holiday
crowd yesterday by roaring and rush.
ing up and down her cage and clawins
at her head. After considerable diff.
Guilty the keepers discovered that Ros
had driven one OF her lower fangs into
"A piece of bone and was unable to de-
tach IL. She could not close her mouth
ard in her rage and excitement caused
such CONSERVATION that the keepers had
the lion house cleared With the aid Of
an elephant hook the piece OF bone was
finally pulled off the tooth, but not until
its sharp edges had painfully torn the
lions mouth and throat.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-01-03
A Gard

This is to certify that all druggists
are authorized to refund your money il
Foley's Honey and Tar fails to cure
your cough or cold, 1t stops the cough
heals the lungs and prevents serious re-
suits from a cold. Cures la grippe
coughs and prevents pneumonia and con
sumption Contains no opiates. The
genuine is in a yellow package. Refuse
substitutes. T. f. Laurin, Owl Drug
Store.