The Globe-republican., 1908-10-01
xlSf1Ks VII
Wayside Faneies.

When your wife puts on her worst
hat to go calling with you, it means
that she is trying to shame you into
buying her perfect poem" she haf
discovered in some nearby millinery
emporium. The thing for you to do IL
to take your medicine like man.
K K 4
The trouble with most Of us is We
want an $85.a-month fiat in $4,000
neighborhood, on a $12-a-week salary
* 4 *
There really wasn't much business
sense in giving that prize of barre
of -four to a Milwaukee poetess. She
probably fooled 1t away for stamps
to send out more rejected poems.
600
The Jocund Farmer.
Almost as regularly as the moon
gets full-that is, quarterly, l 60 out
into the placid country to pet the wab
bly, calf, to watch the busy little bee
gather honey and to scratch the pig
with cob! always leave the city
mart full of enthusiasm. One reason
| leave it, is because | cannot take II
along.
You may remember one of the Rog-
ers brothers, when asked IL he took
his wife to Paris with him, replied.
You'd you take a ham sandwich to
a banquet"
And that's another reason why
leave the city behind when | go into
the country.
like the country for the country's
sake. 1t is to me what a glass of eff.
fervescing champagne is TO the man
who Is city broke, high stopper and
afraid of pigs along the road" Not
that ever have hankered for a farm.
er's life. My divine afflatus and dis
proportionate central statuary that
bothers me when lacing my shoes,
forbids the freedom Of yeomanry,
but have dreamed Of being a gen.
tleman farmer. In my minds eye
have fitted from flower to flower on
the farm, currying the pigs, feeling
new horns sprouting on the infantile
rams, sailing the new kittens, halter.
ing the turkey gobbler, gathering the
eggs when the horses have failed to
eat them, sharing gophers from post
holes, teaching the dog to bite book
agents, fighting the chinch bugs, i'm
porting skinned milk to the village,
Dragging about that new colt and how
near the lightning came to hitting my
barn!
Up TO a recent visit this was my
dream Of the farm. Now / know
have been deceived. All farmers Of
to-day are gentlemen farmers, and
Just as soon as ] can find a farmer fool
enough TO swap places with me, am
going ont into the rural districts to
eat green corn off the cob and be
happy tho married.
was met in the little country
town by the farmer. After getting
shave and offering in payment bill
so big neither the farmer nor | could
change it. he bought some good cigars
and said he was ready.
II was a glorious morning In the
air there was no essence of redoent
cafaterias, no ancient alley-stench, no
slop-wagon fetor-only the sweet in
cense of meadow and field.
AT the farm home the grass in the
front yard was clipped with lawn
mower, there were hammocks and
easy chairs. The dinner was dream.
The farmer spent the day enjoying
himself, while the hired help did the
work. There were yet two picnics and
sale to attend that week He was
going to all three!
have always contended that while
the farmer feeds us all he usually
keeps the best for his own larder.
There is a huge overgrown belief in
town that a farmer skimps his own
table to carry food.stuffs to market.
Perish the error, The farmer has
fresh eggs and vegetables, the yellow.
legged chickens cavort about his legs
and the apples in his orchard are as
ruddy-hued as the cheeks of his pretty
daughters. His mail is delivered at
his door, he has telephone and takes
forty-'leven periodicals which he reads
before passing them to that bourne
from which newspapers never return
His life is not ideal, but it has a
leaning that way. Don't pity the
farmer! Save your sympathy for the
town slave.
900
Ten Lives Lost.
We had a cat, big mouser, who was
always ready for job. In n stable, on
led of straw, was big dry goods box
wi a, homes for mice. When clearing the
stable we brought the cat and raised the
hoy. The cat, at the first jump, had one
under each paw and one in her mouth,
she snapped each and caught nine all
told humping under tho low roof for the
last ono. They were all large and none
oscapcd. Just at this juncture Cutters
frjslty Newfoundland dog jumped our
ward fence and snapped poor puss
through the back. The murder murdered
by murderer!-lIorlcos (Wis) Re-
porter.
600
She Loves One of EN-.
A Chicago girl claims to have re-
ceiyed forty.seven proposals of mar
one OF which she is sorry !
She rejected. And now the forty.seven
men will have to ask her all over
again to find out who's who