The Baltimore County union. [volume] (Towsontown, Md.) 1865-1909, 1908-11-28
WILLIAMS BUSINESS.

W44L4AM y 0Uo4NGo0
"What are you a-driving at now,
William 20 asked the village patri-
arch of the young man with the near
linen collar and fancy banded straw
hat. Williams answer and the story
which the OLD mans subsequent ques.
tions brought out are so true to GER
tain kind of human nature that they
deserve wide quotation.
II amt doing anything exactly
right now," was the youths reply,
says writer in the Chicago Mews.
GIVE sold my plating outfit, an
I'm looking around spell. Maybe
Til take the agency for a bicycle
house. There's firm has wrote me
an offered me pretty good layout.
don't see but l might make some
money at it."
"It does look as if you might,
agreed the patriarch. "But if I was
you I'd get after the road supervisors
an get them to make few roads for
the wheels to run on afore I sunk
much capital in it. Do they want
you to put up fifty dollars as a
guar ntee?"
"Shucks, no ~ answered William.
"I don't halter put up anything. All
there is, 1 get the order an notify
them, an they ship the wheel down.
Then, after the feller's seen it, 1
elect the money an take out my
emission. The only thing is that
I've got to ride one Of the wheels
m'self !; but then, they let me have it
at cost, SO that part of it wouldn't be
so much. But there's another firm
in Portland, Maine, is offering me a
good thing"
Whats that, William?" inquired
the patriarch.
cts photo -enlarging and color
ing business. They've got patent
process for enlarging pictures an
making them look jest like they was
oil-painted. You couldn't tell it from
a picture that cost one hundred dol
lars. Something that's jest been in
vented. They claim that agents is
making as high as ten dollars or
fifteen dollars a day on an av'rage.
Ten dollars day would be good
enough for me. I'd be pretty we'll
satisfied with that. I've sent off for
samples, but you bet I amt going to
send them money for the reg'lar out
fit until see what the pictures look
like. 1 got bit on that Lives o'Self-
Made Men year afore last that way.
You don't ketch me twice."
II thought mabbe you was going
to take orders for suits O. clo'es
again." said the patriarch. "You
must have made good money at that. !"
II didn't make anything" said the
youth. IT only sold three suits; an
Hen Waters wouldn't pay for his
when he seen it, an they wouldn't
pay me what I'd made on the other
two. They claimed was owing
them, an they wanted to sue me. 1
told 'em to go ahead an sue, con-
found 'em p
"How about that patent washing
machine?''
Couldn't do anything with that.
Iguess the women would have bought
'em all right if they'd have the say
so, but the folks didn't see but
what the reg'lar old tub an wash
b'iler was good enough. There's too
many mossbacks around here"
"Wou1dn't buy them self-adjust-
ing bachelors buttons, either, would
they? s'pose they lowed that the
kind sewed on with a needle and
thread was good enough to hook their
suspenders on. Well, we'll Wasn't
the mushroom-growing a success,
either?"
''I lost clost onto seventy-five dol
lars," said William, sadly. can all
my time" he added.
"Sho /" said the village patriarch,
sympathetically. "That was too bad.
But then, man who's all the time
taking up business enterprises has to
expec' to lose once in while. I'll
tell ye, William, 1 seen an ad in the
paper yestiddy about patent incuba.
tor that the man who owns it wants
to get introduced around. He says
that there's liberal terms to agents,
an you can get exclusive territory" "
"I seen the ad," said William. II
thought some of writing the feller.
don't know but what / will, anyway.
If that photo-enlarging business don'l
turn out the way think it's going tc
I'll halter take up something else.
guess it amt too late for fruit-trees
If it is, there's candy-making ma
chine that offers inducements"
can if that don't pan out, an the
worst comes to the worst, you're
young an husky, an you can Away:
go to work." said the patriarch.
GLAD HE WASN'T MAD.
A notorious mountain moonshiner
Familiarity known as wild Bill, wa: