The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-02-08


behliid her, whats this talk anou
my husband when I've kSn a widow
Cor the last seven years?"
"Do you know any cther Mcclure,
around here" called Humpy from tn
other side of the gate.
There's one right across the road
but I'm not saying that she does he
duty by her children gadding arount
as she does every day In the week"
Humpy took 4 long look at the hous,
opposite anu then crossed the stree
and rang the bell, Again II was Mrs
Mcguire who came to the door. and
not seeing a parcel IN his hand, sh,
broke out with;
IL paid dollar ten for corset yes
terday. and II was TO come up befor,
night. It's not here yet. aud you tel
the girl who sold II TO me and gave
me her solemn promise that I'm get
ting dressed to waltz down there and
give her bit Of my mind"
I'm not parcel boy. ma'am," ~
piled Humpy.
NO? Then who are youg"
Have you got husband, ma'am?"
u have"
Does he ever climb laddersg'
He does, He'll climb anything from
glass Of beer to the steeple OF a
church. He's been trying for the last
five years 10 climb into Office. but II
makes his head dizzy"
"Ma'am, have TO tell you--that Is,
was sent t,re to say-that is"-
THAT Is, lat my man Joe Is drunk
again and ii , police have got him this
time and VII give him thirty days,
All right, was that Mcclure across
the street ID sent you, and do you go
back and tel her that she's no lady"
But, ma'a -
Get a move on your
Humpy moved. Half a block down
the street h. stopped beside a carpen,
Ter repairing 4 fence and asked him II
there We're any other McGuires ON the
street.
About ten Others" was the reply
TRY the next door"
1t was tried, Mrs. Mcclure came to
the door with n feather duster in her
hand and scowl on her face and
wanted TO kaow why Humpy was try
ing to pull the doorbel out By the
roots.
You have got husband. haven't
you?" he queried in reply.
"You impatient sassbox. would | be
living with man for the last twen-
ty years aud he not my husband%
Your husband went away this morn
ing feeling all right, didn't he?"
Hurpy Gets Nervous.
''He did that How else should he
feel when he's got the best wife on the
street? What do you stand there swal-
lowing your ;ongue for? Has my man
been throwias another car Off the track
and dislocat'ag the conductors shoul-
der? If he has. then he can pay his
own fine"
Madam, regret to be the bearer
the-bearer"
And wha is it that you are bear
ing? II it's the ice or milk bill. out
with it. " got something to do be-
sides standi Z here Ginning with a
boy that cal speak English"
well, theI your husband fell from
a ladder down on Arch street and
broke his leg and has been sent to the
hospital"
"Oh, he qs:" smiled the woman.
MY son. ST p inside minute. Do
you see the sleeping form on the
lounge there: That's what they calls
a recumbent attitude. That's the man
we have been talking about, That's
my husband He was out on spree
last night"
Humpy turned TO fee. but he was
not quite quick enough. He was hit on
the head with Il duster, and q large and
liberal foot helped him Of the step
The man who was repairing the fence
advised him to try three or four other
houses, but the boy had become dis
couraged. He headed for home and
didn't stop until be got there. As be
entered the house his mother asked:
"Why, Humpy, how does it happen
that you got out Of school so earlyf"
He explained, and when he had fin
ished she said:
Poor boy. you did not find the
right Mrs. Mcclure. am the one,
and now if you will kindly step into
the wood shed with me Wen find out
who fell down a ladder and who fell
up onew NJ. Quad.
II.