Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-02-25
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from life?" "Oh, yes; the hero meets
us death In motor car ACCIDENT
Lustlge Blaetter.
were you frightened during the bat
tie, Pat| Pat-Not bit. sor. Oi kin
face most anything whin OF have ma
back to 1.-THE Circle.
Your son Joined a college fraternity.
didn't hep NO, it was tripping at the
top OF five flights of stairs thar laid
him up that way."-Puck.
Jones-I am going to marry an En-
glish girl. Bones-You will never
again hear me say that the English
have no appreciation of joke.
"She has very useful husband.
How do you make that out?' lie can
always suggest something that he wants
for dinner. Detroit Free Press.
Neither can speak the others
language. She How did they propose?
He-Love's language is the same all
over the world. -Cleyeland Leader
Mrs. Allcash--I was directed to you
as diamond expert. Mr. Wayupp
Toppe-Just SO, ma'am. Pm a baseball
nagnate.-New York Commercial Adj
yertiser.
Mrs. Bacon-Why, that piano has
several keys that make no sound at
all. Mr.. Bacon-Yes; and there are
some other good features about it
Yonkers Statesman
Scribbler-rm writing a book called
How to Live on Five Hundred Dollars
a Year ESTABLISHMENTS your OBJ
| ject? Scribbler-To get the $780,
Philadelphia Record
In several instances women have
lately figured as footpads There seems
no way that mali may protect him
self unless he go armed with a live
Observation-Disclosures Ledger
You say that you have your own
way about the house?" Invariably"
answered Mr. Meekton. allow do you
manage itT by always agreeing with
Henrietta. Washington Star.
Mother-Why did you not scream
when Hams kissed you? Daughter-He
threatened me. Mother-How? Daugh-
ter--He said if did he'd never kiss
ME again. -Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Young Colt makes quite a show
with his speedy automobiling. doesn't
heY' We'll, from the way he keeps ON
getting arrested. the show is something
of continuous fine performance.
You know, Jessie, the good book
says Love your neighbour" spoke the
mother to her little girl 'Yes, mann
ma; but that was written before the
days of flats" Statesman.
what am l ever going to do with
such a bad, bad boy?" sighed the fond
mother. 20, you leave me alone" re-
piled the young hopeful. I'm not half
as bad as | can be. Brooklyn Life.
The Monument Man CATER several
abortive suggestlons) How would SIM
ply "Gone Home" do? Mrs. Newweed5
Il guess that would be all right. 1t
was always the last place he ever
thought of going-Puck.
Eph-How'd you git along rldin' In
them there sleepln' cars when you took
your trip? Simp-Got along all right.
but caught a colored Teller tryin' to
sneak away with my boots an made
i'm bring EN- back.-Indianapolis Star.
80 you enjoyed Venicey' said the
traveller. EYES," answered Mr.. Cum
rox. 1T was kind of pleasant, for
change, to be robbed by gondoller in
stead of a hack driver" Washington
STAR
II know 1t breaks old Skinfints
heart to part with a cent, so | am Curl
GUS to know what he did about his
daughters wedding gift. What did he
give her when she got marriedT He
gave her away"
"IIave you read of the thousands OF
ounds of quinine that are sent to Pan
dmaY" Il have" answered the man
who jests on serious subjects. And
YET some people have tried TO tell US
that the canal is no great shakes p
Washington Star.
Riding In an omnibus up Reyent
street recently, an old lady was annoy
ing the other passengers by her re-
marks. The conductor demonstrated
with her, saying, "Ma'am, remember
you are In a public vehicle, and behave
as such."-Spectator.
"AIl alone In a trackless desert"
walled the heroine. Not tree, not "a
rock In sight. Here come the ferocious
lions oh, what shall l doT Dive
troo de trap!" shouted friendly stage
hand. "Yure standin' right over it,
leddy."-Houston Chronicle.
81 tell you, golf is going to be the
salvation Of the nation. 1t is going to
make athletic men and women Of our
puny offspring and lengthen our days
Inv decades" "Rut our ancestors didn't
90 in for golfv And where are they
now? Dead! All dead New York
Times.
ut would please me nightly, Miss
Stout" said Mr. Mugley, ito have you
go TO the theater with me this even
ing" "Have you secured the seats?'
asked Miss Vera Stout. oh! come
now" he protested; you're not so
heavy as all that."-Cathoic Standard
and Times.
THAT was an unlucky thing that
Peck. the engineer, DONE" said the
brakeman. They gave him one OF
them new engines yesterday, an he
named 1t after his WIFE" How was
that unlucky?" asked the track-walker-
aWhy, the blamed thing blew him up
this morning. '-Canadian Courier.
New Name for Disease.
The mosquito never has had any
friends. He has been In the experience
and Imagination of everybody a mon
tor of hfdao11c fnfar which M Fornt1far