davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10
HUM0R OF THE DHY

Kitty" said her mother, rebuking-
" you must sit still when you are at
the table. II can't, mammal protest.
ed the little girl. I'm a hdgetarian."
When you have an automobile"
SAID Mr.. Chuggins, enthusiastically,
you depend on your own intelligence
Wnen you drive horse" YES" an
swered the unassuming man, that's
one reason why think maybe a horse
is safer. Washington Star.
Pa-You know. Willie, this thrash
ing is going to hurt me more than
you; Willie (sympathetically)-
don't be too rough on yourself dad
'Tain't worth it.-Chicago Daily News
A Billville Jury, slow in arriving at
a decision, and feeling the keen de-
mands OF appetite, sent the following
US something to eat quick well have
TO ma the defendant guilty; but II
youu send US three meals a day we'll
stay here till he's innocent."-Argo-
naut.
Knicker-Why do women stand for
such gowns? Mrs. Knicker-Because
they can't sit down.-New York Sun.
as she a well preserved woman? ?'
Yes. guaranteed under the food and
drug act."-Town and Country.
Bloom-Tm glad I met your wife.
she she seemed to take fancy to me.
Pacque-Did she? wish you'd met
her sooner.-New York Journal.
"a man learns to do by doing" re-
marked the moralizer. YES" re-
joined the demoralizer; "and also by
being done."-Chicago News.
"oh. pshaw! You haven't any stock
OF hats at ALI" "why, madame. you
have tried on two hundred and forty
SO far!'-F Fliegende Blatter.
Customer-what is the price of the
duck? Little GirI-Please, mum. it's
three shillings. But mother SAYS, IL
you grumble, it's MISUNDERSTANDING
You remind me of a broken pump.
doctor" said the druggist. How so %
queried the M. d. "You can draw
nothing from the WELL" replied the
pill compiler-Chicago News.
Father" said little Rollo, "what is
graft?" Graft, my son, is any pecu-
mary advantage enjoyed by some one
who opposes your political views."-
Washington Star.
''I suppose you carry a memento of
some sort in that locket of ?"
Yes; 1t is a lock of my husbands
hair But your husband is stiIi
alive?" yes, but his hair is all
gone."-Pick Me UP.
Judge" said the prisoner, ct have
seen better days. I have never before
even been threatened with arrest"
'Your second assertion" answered his
honor, "contradicts the first. 1t shows
you have never been connected with a
big corporation or owned a motor
car. ar."-Washington Star.
''How about your marriage?" "All
broken off. Some days before my
fiancee showed me her dressmakerSs
bill. She had one for 5000 in two
weeks" 'I understand why you are
not married" Pardon. have mar
ried the aker."-Savannah .
Morning News.
Elderly Coquette-I don't like this furni-
ture. 1t isn't suitable for my style. Deal
do you say to something an
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10

Knicker-Why do women stand for
such gowns? Mrs. Knicker-Because
they can't sit down-New York Sun.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10

us she well preserved woman ?"
yes, guaranteed under the food and
drug act."-Town and Country.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10
REBATES AND MORALS.

Twenty-Five years ago there were nc
railroad tariffs. Every railroad man.
ager got what he could out of each Gus
toner. The maxim current among rail-
road managers themselves was to
charge whatever. the traffic would
bear" But that was simply rule for
getting the maximum rate. They also
wanted the maximum volume of traffic.
and to get that they would make any
sort of concession that might be neces-
sary. Each shipment was matter of
bargaining.
So far the Standard Oil was accus-
toned years ago to drive sharp bar
gains with the railroads that often
forced competing oil concerns out of
business, 1t was no worse than other
shrewdIy- shippers. But it is
credib1y asserted that the Standard Oil
continued its practice of extorting con-
cessions from the railroads after the
community began to make laws on the
subject, and many of its contracts with
the railroads seem injurious not only
to the Standards rivals, but to the
railroads shareholders, for which rea-
som there is some curiosity to know
how the Standard managed to get such
large favors, and the commissioner of
corporations charges the Standard with
low and underhand methods of injuring
the business of its rivals. These things
account for the keen interest with
which Mr.. Rockefeller's examination is
watched--Philadelph Record.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10

''I suppose you carry a memento of
some sort in that locket of yours 90
yes: it is a lock of my husbands
hair" But your husband is still
alive?" yes, but his hair is all
gone."-Pick Me Up.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10
KEEPING YOUNG AND OLD AGE.

The continued youth of President
Eliot of Harvard is one of the most
striking and attractive things about
him. He has shown none of~that ossi-
fication of intellect that so often ac-
companies old age. Within the last
few months, for instance, he has made
a plea for the commission form of city
governmental comparatively new idea
and has announced his conversion to
total abstinence after a life time of
moderate drinking.
Ir this capacity for keeping young he
resembles such men as Gladstone and
Leo XIII. Unhappily, the number is
small The politician who will adopt a
new cause when he is above 20 as Glad
stone did in the case of Irish home
rule or the theologian who viii keep In
touch with modern tendencies after he
has passed three score, as Leo did, is
rare. Fortunately modern research does
not condemn men to aging in mind as
they do in body. It is believed that
this distrust of men above maturity is
a result of an attitude OF mind ratner
than of physical decay.-Kansas CITY
Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10

decision, and feeling the keen de-
mands of appetite, sent the following
note to the judge; "If you don't send
to f1nd the defendant guilty; but II
you'll send US three meals a day we'ii
stay here till he's innocent.'.Argo-
naut.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10
WINSTON Cf1urchiII,s Lest.

A joke of Mr.. Winston ChurchilPs at
the expense of a self-opinionated army
officer has just been recalled. The incl
dent occurred during dinner in South
Ger were seated side by side. Through
out the meal the latter was airing his
views, until at last Churchill could
stand it no longer. do you know" he
said quietly, Il met a man today who
would gladly forfeit ESQ for the pleas
ure of being able to kick you"
ITO kick me, sir" exclaimed the as
tonished soldier. II must ask you to
tell me his name at once"
nOh," replied Winston. cit was a poor
young fellow in the hospital who has
lost both his legs by the bursting of a
sheIl."-London Opinion.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10

kitty,' said her mother, rebukinE-
y, you must sit still when you are at
lne table: II can't, mamma" protest.
Chicago Tribune.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10

Pa-You know, Willie, this thrash
ing is going to hurt me more than
you; Willie (sympathetically)-
don't be too rough on yourself. dad
Tain't worth it.-Chicago Daily News.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10

Judge" said the prisoner, ct have
seen better days. I have never before
even been threatened with arrest"
your second assertion" answered his
honor, "contradicts the first. 1t shows
you have never been connected with a
big corporation or owned a motor
car. ar."-WashingtOn Star.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-12-10

When you have an automobile, %
salo Mr.. Chuggins, enthusiastically,
you depend on your own fnteliieence
entirely Now, it's altogether different
when you drive a horse" Yes an
swered the unassuming man. THAT'S
one reason why think maybe a horse
is safer. Washington Star.
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
"HOw to Dress a DoIl''
BY Mary H Morgan. Published b
Altemus company, Philadelphia.
90 cents.

BY Mary H Morgan. Published By Henry
Altemus company, Philadelphia Price,
90 cents.
This unique and attractive volume
will enable any little girl who reads it
to make a complete and varied ward
robe for her dolls. The author, Mary
II. Morgan. is an experienced teacher Of
sewing and knows every difficulty that
besets little needlewomen. Her aim
has been to overcome these difficulties
by explaining every process so fully and
clearly that even her youngest reader
can understand. Frequent reference
to profusion of pictures. diagrams
and patterns goes still further toward
the simplfcation of the text.
This book is far more than a mere
guide to doll dress making: ii is, in ad-
dition, complete manual OF plain sew
Ing. The opening chapters, after giving
a multitude of useful hints in regard to
sewing in general tell the child how to
thread her needle, how TO hold her scis-
sors. how to sit. how to cut out pat
terms, how to use the thimble and a.
thousand little details which. though
commonplace to the expert needle
woman, are Greek to the little beginner
These preliminary instructions form
a carefully graded course which leads
UP to the actual making OF garments,
at first simple ones and later elaborate
frocks. An early chapter and many IL
lustrations are devoted to the infants
outfit, with hints on how TO adapt the
patterns to dolls of any size. Then in
succession come chapters on the Little
Girl Dolls, street dresses. outer wraps,
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
"ThOu FOoI''

Bv J. J. Bell. author Of Wee MscGregor. -
Published by the Baker & Taylor company,
New York Price $l.50.
There have been many tales written
of ambition. and all sorts of morals
have been pointed about the danger of
allowing ambition to kill all other mo-
tives. but not one can be recalled at the
moment one-half so strong and forceful
as this tale by ]. J. Bell, Thou Fool"
The scene of this story is Scotland and
England, like his earlier one, Wee
MacGregor," but the book is a much
more important one than the first and
infinitely more interesting.
Not till nearly half through the book
does the scene occur which names the
book. The hero is a self-made man; he
has risen from the lowliest imaginable
beginnings to a position at the head OF
a tremendous grocery combination, but
during his rise he has crushed hun
dreds of small fry in a perfectly 'fle-
gitimate" business method. Some of
these little dealers have been life long
acQuaintances, he never has friend,
and only the coldest hearted man on
earth could resist the appeal made to
him by such an honest old Scot as
James Scobie.
After an exciting and painful inter-
view Scobie turns to the man who has
ruined him and says:
we've bate me, Robert Barker, bate
me IN every way. But waiti Dye mind
what God said TO the rich man that had
much goods pit by for mony years an
was gaun to eat, drink, an Be merry
because o. his riches? God said that
man. Thou fooli An to you, Robert
Barker, I, the man we've ruined, say
likewise. Thou foolr For that's what
We are, an ye'll say IT to yersel some
day An for yer ain puir sake, may
ye say IL afore God says IT."
There is little dialect in the book. at
least Of the very broad Scotch, and
characters like John Scobie lose much
of their picturesqueness II made to
speak pure English.
The book gives in much detail the rise
of the hero. Robert Barker, to the
position of a millionaire and at last a
title. The only one desire of his life is
to win the love of Elsie Glen, the grand
child Of an old country store keeper for
whom Robert worked as a child. The
man treated him like son and Robert
repaid him by running his business after
he had started for himself, and finally
the old man kills himself
Barker expected by his riches and po-
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20

priests of that day, who our reading
has led US to believe got most sport
out of melting the Indians TO kill and
burn"
The author feels strongly. and
shows it very plainly. against the
Puritans who have for centuries in
herited the reasonless hatred of their
fOrefathers for the Jesuits. and for
that reason he is probably little more
severe in his treatment of the Puri-
tans. 1t is certainly not pretty pic
ture he gives us of them.
The young priest hero of the book
falls in love with the daughter of the
planter 10 whom he has been sold She
is a charming widow and proves quite
disastrous to the happiness and peace
of mind of the young priest. The love
tale which is unfolded is not hallowed
by marriage and is tragic in its end
ing. but-though difficult of belief
it is a tale of love. pure and sacred,
and shows much strength in the au-
thor.
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20

In this she resembles all the other
Scotch characters in the book
Agnes is beautiful and capricious. of
course, and she drives her Jealous lover
to treason by her extraordinary de-
votion to Prince Charlie-the lover mis-
taking what Is only loyalty to the
rightful king Of Scotland for q more
personal regard for the prince. In this
respect Prince Charlie is also deceived
and though he loses his heart to her
and offers to make her queen OF the
three kingdoms II he ever comes to the
throne she will have none of him.
But she risks her life hundred times
for his sake. and is the chief means of
effecting his escape from Scotland after
the defeat at Culloden. The pretty
Agnes, dressed in mans clothing, ac-
companies the prince from one hiding
place to another. suffering hunger, cold
and fatigue; she is sorefy wounded In
the shoulder when she springs in front
of the pretender to shield him from
the bullet of a British grenadier, and
finally, taking advantage of a strong fa-
cial resemblance, she disguises herself
as Prince Charlie and surrenders to the
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
"Ihe SfaEus"

BY Eden Phiipotts and Arnold Bennett. Pub
lished BY Mofatt, Yard Co, New York
Price Sl-Jo.
r o one who is reading only for
amusement. who wants a good
plot skillfully unfolded. with just
enough Of truthful character de-
linestion TO make the story not
insipid. The Statue" by Eden Phill-
potts and Arnold Bennett, is as good a
book as has appeared this fall.
The story centers about a statue of
heroic style. which has been erected
on the private estate. situated near
London. OF Carl CoUrIander. multimil-
lionaire. who has made his money by
financing the governments of Europe.
The statue is hollow and contains
among other things a large dining
room, which is reached by an elevator:
and a secret connected with it is the
motif OF all the activities of the char
acters.
Upon the day Of the completion of
tt statue the owner gives a house
party TO which are invited a number
OF his friends, including the prime min
lister of England and Abraham Cramp-
iron. who is opposing Courlander in
a huge financial deal with the sultan
OF Morocco. upon the issue of which de-
pends the peace OF France and Ger
many and Incidentally the fate of the
British ministry
AS the surprise Of the day the CO.
lossal figure is unveiled by the press
ing Of an electric button. and the
guests are served with dinner high up
within the statue. In the course of the
dinner COurlander announces that he
has triumphed in the negotiations with
the sultan, 10 the rage of his rival,
CrampirOn.
When the guests have departed -Cour-
lander is overheard by a servant in a
quarrel with his son, Maurice. and later
he receives q mysterious midnight visit
from one Biakbane from London.
In the morning Courlander is found
dead at the foot OF his statue. appar-
emily murdered.
The rest OF the story is chiefly con-
cerned with the complications that re-
suit from the murder and with the love
affair between Maurice. the son of the
dead man, and Nora. daughter of the
murderer.
The reader is much mystifled at first
as 10 who the murderer is, for the evil
dence points strongly to three differ
ent men; but the mystery is quickly
cleared up, and the trial and fmprison-
ment Of the guilty man is highly ex-
amusing.
There IS a detective in the case who
does good work, but is a quite differ
ent character from the ordinary de-
tectiye OF fiction. But. as the author
says, After all. why should a detective
not be fat, since the science of detec-
ton has long since discarded the in
fantile dodge Of disguises2 He was
married and lived on Argyll street and
his wife regarded him as a fat fool
His age was so"
The account OF Crampiron's escape
from the strongest prison in England
by its simplicity and ingenuity could
not fail TO interest anybody. The
whole story Is Of the exciting kind
which one will sit UP all night to fin
ish, and is nevertheless told in style
which has an element Of lightness and
mild humor that is extremely fasci.
mating.
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
New Books Briefly Noted

Dame Curtsey's Book OF Guessing
Contests is a new volume by the
author OF Dame Curtsey's Book OF
Novel Entertainments for Every Day
in the Year" Ellye Howell Glover. In
this handy volume will be found con-
tests old and new, and contests easy
and difficult. something for the youth
full hostess and something for those
grown older. The book Is hlled with
suggestions for the entertaining OF
guests in addition to the games them
selves. suggestions for prizes and deco
rations. etc 1t is a valuable little book
and no evening can be dull with this to
help. "a. c. McClurg. Chicago. Price
so cents.)
The American book company has pub
lished 'Baltasar," a biblical drama in
four acts and in verse. by Gertrudes
Gomez de Avellaneda. edited with In
PRODUCTION, notes and vocabulary by
Carlos Bransby, Lift. D., OF the Univer-
sity OF California. This edition of Bal
tasar" has been prepared under the con-
viction that the play Is one of great lit
erary merit and at the same time emf
nently adapted to the needs Of students
of Spanish. While IL is written in
poetry that not infrequently reaches
the sublime. its language is simple and
natural and therefore easy to under
stand. The authors work Is we'll known
IN all Spanish countries and therefore
deserves special notice here.
The Girl OF Sixty" by Nine. de Savon.
appears to be a health and happi-
ness tract. these to be gained by diet.
exercise and thought control. A lot
Of mysterious suggestions are made.
and the book contains a leahet. in
which the author offers to answer single
questions for 10 cents. three for %
cents She also offers a course of sim
pie exercise that can be practiced at
home. and a course in Hindu or circular
breathing, which should be practiced
by every person over 20 years of age"
These may be had for 81 each or $3.50
for both 1t Is a curious little book
with a few good ideas, but mostly
foolishness. CIV. H. Coyle & Co.. Hous-
ton, Tex).
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20

get the habit" of praising him. and
their only worry Is to find new words
in which to accomplish 1t. 1t will be
considered trite to say that this is
his best book yet. for that has been
said of each book as 1t appeared. but
the fact remains-it is the best; that
Is, II one likes sea stories.
The Last Voyage of the Donna Isa-
bel" Is a romance, pure and simple.
Whether or no the main incident of
the plot is possible makes no differ
ence-the story is there. and not a
line is dull.
AS for that possible incident, it is
stated that the Donna Isabel sailed
from Spain 126 years before the story
opens, and was lost at sea- The ship
was caught in ice of the Antarctic
ocean and frozen there solidly and re-
mained intact with all sorts of grew
some things on board, until discovered
by the yacht Sea Queen, In search of
treasure.
The whole story is consistent and
convincing to any landsman and even
the old salt, who may have his doubts
about the Donna Isabel will love
the rest of the tale. with it's fights and
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
"0mar Repentant''

BY Richard Le Gsllienne. Published by Mitch.
ell kinnerley. New York. Price 20 cents.
Only Richard Gallienne could have
done it without offense. but even so 1t
was fearful shock TO find him so
suddenly reformed He is not quite so
attractive reformed; that may be the
reason.
The author has written a poem mod
eled upon Fitzgeralds Rubaiyat of
Omar Khayyam, but it is a repentant
and very sour Omar who sings this
soEg. He has had his fling and he
mSralizes to youth whom he picks
UP in the street and describes the
dreadful steps by which he arrived at
his present low condition.
The scene is not Persia in this poem,
but Broadway-New York, of course
and the singer of the song is a regular
rounder.
All the passages from Omar which
one has quoted so bravely are torn to
shreds-in fact, one hasn't a leg to
stand on in the face of this dreadful
temperance sermon. 1t is written ex-
squisitely but forcefulIy, and shows the
authors art as plainly as anything he
has ever done.
This shall the vine do for you-it shall
break
The woman's heart that loves you-it
shall take
Away from you your friends-sad one
by one,
And of your own kind heart an agate
make"
The book is a model of dainty bind
ing and printing and is one of the
best examples of art which has como
from this firm.
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20

duke of Cumberland, to give the real
prince a chance TO escape to France,
when the English. thinking they al
ready have him in their power, relax
their vigilance.
While the book is nothing but second
class trash, and poorly written at that.
there are incidents in 1t which are not
uninteresting. But the interest comes
only from the incidents themselves and
not from the manner in which they are
described. Every stock phrase in use in
modern novels appears here and with a
few changes in name, scene, dates and
dialect the story would be the same
as thousand others of it's class.
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
Books Received

.'Tamar Curze.'' bv Berthe ST. Luz: r J.
Fenno & Co.. New York.
'Don'ts for Bachelors and Old Maids nv
Minna F. Antrim; Henry -Altemus company.
Philadelphfa.
The Last Voyage OF the Donna Isabel" by
Randall Parrish: A. c. McClurg & Co.. New
York
The Sword Of Dundee" BY Theodore Peck:
Dufheld Co.. New York.
The Blotting Book By T. +. Benson:
Doubleday. Page & Co.. New York.
Weeping Cross" by Henry L. Stuart: Double
day. Page Co. New York
Dame Curtsey's Books Of Guessing Contests
by Ellye Howell Glover; A. G. McCiurg & Co.
Chicago
Mitchell KinnerIey. New York
The Old Allegiance" By Hubert wales:
Mitchell kinEerley- New York.
Thou Fool.'' BY J. J.. Bell; the Baker ray-
Tor company. New York
''The Well In the Desert" By Adeline Knapp:
the Century company. New York
''The Little Brother OF the Rich, hy Joseps
Medill Patterson: Reilly & Brirton. Chicago.
The Man Without a Head by Taylor d
Saix, Mofatt, Yard & Co.. New York
-.The Statue by Eden Phiilpotts and A.
mold Bennett; Mofratt. Yard & Co.. New York
Talks to the Kings Children by SyIvauus
Stall; Tri publishing company. Philadelphia
Canadian Types Of the Old Regime" By c.
n Colby. Henry Holt & Co.. New York.
''The Leveller." by Alexander McArthur- &,
Fl. Doscher CO.. New York
''The Lord OF Lands, BY Ramsey Benson:
Henry Holt Co. New York.
'sThe Little Brown BrOthers bv stsnI>x D
Hyatt: Henry Holt & Co.. New York.
Angel Esquire By Edgar wallace; Henry
Holt Co.. New York.
The San Francisco call., 1908-09-20
The BIOttiag Book"

By r. F.; Benson. author of "Dodo.'
Shcaves, etc. Published by Doubleday,
Page Co, New York. Price 81.
e. T. Benson has surprised his read
ers SO often that, paradoxical as 1t may
prise now when new book from his
pen is announced. The latest book.
The Blotting Book" is unlike any
thing he has done before.
The story has most to do with
certain old family lawyer who is the
trustee of the fortune of young Morris
Assheton, the hero. The study of the
character of this lawyer, Mr.. Taynton,
Is a fine piece Of work and the author
carries it to such minute detail that
he almost runs the risk of becoming
prosy.
While this character study is the
most interesting thing about the book
the story itself is ingenious and han
died most cleverly. Young Assheton
succeeds in overcoming his difficulties
eve of his marriage becomes involved
in mysterious crime. The circum-
stantial evidence in this case is the
best evidence and affairs look pretty
black for him, but curious little thing
occurs which shows that real criminals
usually leave some loopho1e through
which the arm of Justice may go and
prevent the punishment of the innocent
The book is as charmingly written as
is everything by this versatile writer
and one is only sorry 1t is SO short
tale.