davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1908-03-06
IMMORTALITY.
lny the late Joseph JefTerson, ACTOR ]

lBy the late Joseph Jefferson, actor
Two caterpiiiars crawling on leaf,
By some strange accident in contact
came;
Their conversation. passing all belief,
Was that same argument, the very same,
That has been "proed and conned"
from man to man.
Yea, ever since this wondrouS world
began.
The ugly creatures,
Deaf and bumb and blind,
Devoid of features
That adorn mankind,
Were vain enough, in dull and wordy
strife,
To speculate upon future life.
The first was optimistic, full of hope;
The second, quite dyspeptic, seemed to
NOPE.
Said number one, 'I'm sure Of our
salvation.
Said number two, Pm sure of our
damnation;
Our ugly forms alone would seal our
fates,
And bar our entrance through the golden
gates.
Suppose that death should take US
unawares.
How could we climb the golden stairs?
If maidens shun us as they pass US by,
Would angels bidus welcome in the sky?
L wonder what great crimes we have
committed,
That leave us so forlorn and unpitied,
Perhaps we've been ungrateful, unfor-
giving;
'Tis plain to me that life's not worth
the living"
Come, come, cheer up" the joyial
worm replied;
Lets take look upon the other side;
Suppose we cannot fly like moths or
millers,
Are we to blame for being caterpillars?
Will that same God that doomed us
crawl the earth,
A prey to every bird that's given birth.
Forgive our captor as he eats and sings,
And damn poor us because we have not
wings?
If we can't skim the air like owl or bat,
A worm will turn for a that. -
They argued through the summer;
autumn nigh,
The ugly things composed themselves
to die;
And so TO make their funeral quite
complete,
Each wrapped him in his little winding
sheet.
The tangled web encompassed them full
soon,
Each for his coffin made him cocoon,
All through the winters chilling blast
they lay
Dead to the world, aye. dead as human
clay.
10, spring come forth with all her
warmth and love:
She brings sweet justice from the realms
above;
She breaks the chrysalis, she resurrects
the dead;
Two butterflies ascend encircling hel
head.
And so this emblem shall forever be sigr
of immortality.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1908-03-06

must be remedied or one of the State s
most profitable and extensive industries
will soon become thing of the past.
a definite and enlightened policy in
regard to the oyster industry must be
entered upon and prosecuted consistently
and vigorously. This policy should make
the preservation of the seed supply its
first and chief aim and object. The
laws governing the industry should be
revised with this end chiefly in view,
and the Board of Fisheries clothed with
sufficient power and supplied with ample
funds to enable it to enforce them and
to the letter. In the latter respect the
State might go to the extent of author
izing the Board to expend, if necessary,
In carrying out its purposes every cent
of revenue collected by it. If and when
this is done, it is safe statement that
the natural rocks will soon show marked
Improvement, that the seed supply will
rapidly increase and that there will be
no further talk about barren rocks.
Give the rocks proper protection and
they will take care of themselves in all
other respects.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1908-03-06

was evolved the greatest of ali the gen
eralizations Of modern physical science,
the principle Of the conservation Of en-
ergy, and even now more or less inn
portant discoveries are being constantly
stumbled on by seekers after the same
perennial will-o'- -the-wisp. For let it
be by no means imagined that the per-
petual-motion cranks are all dead and
gone. On the contrary, they are,prob-
ably fully as numerous and as san
guine today as they were in the time of
Leibnitz or Newton. Of course the
thing is impossible, and has been proved
so over and over again, but that does
not deter them.
Among mathematicians the twomost
famous uhsolvable problems are the
trisection of the angle and the duplica-
tion of the cube Men have toied at
one or the other, sometimes at both, of
these for IS, 20 and 80 years, only to
retire at last baffied and beaten. Their
calculations and methods OF work have
IN many instances been published 10 the
world, but the subject is too abstruse
to attempt to do more than merely
touch upon it.
1t is somewhat startling, however, to
find that even figures. just plain, ordi-
nary arithmetical figures, such as are
easily Understandable by any schoolboy,
have given rise to problems quite as
incapable of solution as any of those
springing out of the higher mathematics.
No one, for instance, has yet sue
ceeded in extracting the square root of
2, although DR.. w. III. Colvill succeeded
in working it out to no fewer than no
places of decimals, and, moreover, his
Titanic sum has been proved to be abso-
lutely correct, so far as it goes. Here
Is the result, in case some reader should
be seized with an irresistible desire to
carry it stage or two further:
l. OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES 1GSS7242O969SO
S569671875S7094 l766797379907S2 1886
2l07O3SS50S8753432764l5727350l3Sl623
Undoubtedly, however, Of all the now
admittedly unsolvable figure problems
which have from time TO time occupied
the attention of mathematicians the
most famous is that generally known as
squaring the circle. Fhe time and en-
ergy thrown away upon it in days gone
by are simply amazing. A Dutch pro-
fessor, Jacob Marcells by name, worked
at it for 43 years and came at last to
the conclusion that the circumference
contained the diameter exactly
Si490S737754I679 42S2ls4se4
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1908-03-06
NEW WOODS COMING INTO USE.

The scientific study of the merits of
many species of trees against the use
of which there has been prejudice for
one reason or the other is one of the
most important phases of the forest
work of the government, and the inves-
legations which have already been made
have provided the lumber industry
with much valuable information.
The latest discoveries of valuable
qualities in former neglected species
resulted after an investigation of the
tupelo gum which finds its home in the
Southern swamps. Experts say that
the study has brought out as important
data as the studies made on the lobIol-
ly pine, another species which was
neglected for many, but which is now
put to valuable use for many purposes.
Tupelo, two years ago, was little known
and seldom used even in the sections of
the country where it is most plentiful.
In the logging off of cypress in the
Gulf States, where tupelo is found in
large quantities, the trees were entire
ly disregarded. 1t was found that the
prejudice then existing against the
wood was caused by lack of krowl-
edge of its properties and lack of care
in handling the material. The investi-
cations have been carried on by the
United States Forest Service and have
proved the value of the wood for a
number Of uses. The result of these
studies, removed, very largely, the ex-
listing prejudice against this gum, and
in short time the demand for tupelo
rapidly increased.
This wood is now widely used, not
only in the states where it grows but
also in different sections of the country,
in the manufacture of wooden pumps.
sounding boards for violins and organs.
mantles and interior finishing, such as
moulding, door and window frames and
door jams. 1t is manufactured also
into all kinds of lumber, including a
good grade of edge grain flooring.
Tupelo gum, in the form of flooring,
was recently found competing success
fully with Douglass fir in the Los An
geles market, even though bearing a
freight rate of S5 cents per hundred
weight from its source of production in
Louisiana.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1908-03-06
TRIALS OF A POET.

The poet tore his hair and cried:
"Jehoshaphat! What's this?
The printer has it kick the stars
Where had written kiss"
And then his horror-stricken soul
Was scandalized anew
Where he had said "I'll strew the
flowers"
The printer had it stew
In stanza three, where it should read
Thou comest from the sLy,''
The printer made him talk like this:
Thou comest from the sty."
And when his raptured ulhad yearned
For her to 'gladly die,"
Would you believe the horried wretch
Had made it ''sadly lie"?
But worst of all this awful botch-
He wrote you're good as gold;"
The printer made him tell the girl
That she was good and DID,
THOMAS o. CLARK.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1908-03-06
SHEEP SUCCEEDING CATTLE INVEST

The cattle barons of the West, who
once held undisputed sway over the
great public domain, have been displa-
ced, in the last few years, by new lords
of wealth and power-the sheep men.
Travel over the Pecos country in New
Mexico, where John Chisum ruled like
lord of old, and where his baronial re-
tainers fought desperate battles with
the retainers of rival cattle barons,
and what will you find but sheep, and
more sheep? To be sure there are
plenty of cattle left in the country, but
they are split up in tiny herds among
the small ranchers, while most of the
unfenced range is grazed over by great
fiocks of sheep, of all grades and values,
in charge of Mexican herders in all
states of somnolency. In Montana,
Wyoming and Colorado, where the dust
of the cattle trails once clouded the
blue skies, the old highways of the
steer are grass covered, and-the mock
cry of it!-are fed over by the dusty
backed herds whose eternal s.ba-a-a"
brings curl of contempt to the lips of
the cowman. Where the cowboys once
faced the storms of the prairie, in their
yellow slickers, the sheep herder now
crawls into his canvass-covered sheep
wagon, where he lives in comfort
through the hardest ''norther," and in
summer, even to the grassy slopes of
the Rocky Mountains, above timber
line, one will come upon sheep camps. =
From SIN the Land of the Sheep Ba-
rons," by Arthur Chapman, in the
American Review of Reviews for March.
In an interview on conditions in
Southwest Virginia Ex-Governor Hoge
Tyler says: '"The lamb season has been
the most disasterous in years, say the
farmers, the death rate averaging sc
per cent, and in some cases so pei
cent, owing to the prolonged and exces-
sive cold weather. Even the old sheer
are dying from lack of green food, snow
having lain on the ground so long. One
farmer had a great sledge made tt
scrape the snow from the ground thai
his sheep might get grass. Another
was trying to get carload of turnip.
for his flock. The trouble ISL say:
Mr.. Tyler. ''our people do not MAKE
, proper provision for their sheep. Ant
in such cases lose heavily.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1908-03-06

1t costs Canadian makers Sc per ton
to put their print paper in the markets
of the United States, and yet they are
underselling the paper trust and making
profit on their sales. This but shows
how the paper trust is robbing the
people. e.-AlexanGer Gazette.
Virginia citizen. (Irvington, Va.) 1891-1921, 1908-03-06
SUB NOSA.

He kissed her under the mstletoe,
He kissed her under the rose,
He kissed her under the holly and
He kissed her under the nose.
-Farmville Herald.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10
Patterson City, Mo, Dec. ZINC

Jefferson City. Mo-, Dec. 1.-The
beer-inspection tax for the last
month amounted to $29.5S6.71.
This sum was forwarded to-day to
the State Treasurer by Chief Inspec-
tor Marshall of ST. Louis. 1t is ex-
pected that the total amount of
this tax for the year will not fall
far short of $450.000 The insur-
ance tax for the month was also
turned over to the State Treasurer.
today, 1t amounted to $i.2l267.
Francis Payne. of Butler. Mo-. is
visiting his brother and sister, John
Payne and Mrs J. w. Stephens,
and other relatives.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10
A Pestiferous Person.

You'll run across him everywhere -
The chap who knows it all;
He can't be silenced by a snub,
Zen though the heavens fall.
He breaks in on a private chat
To let you know his views,
And tells about his latest coup,
AS if it were good news.
An arguments his fierce delight
The less he really knows
Bout this and that and other
things,
The more he brags and blows
And mops the ground with reasons
pat
And spouts a verbal streak,
The while his victim grins and
bears
And gets no chance to speak.
Of politics and literature
And art and science, too,
He'll tell you more in forty winks
Than wise men ever knew:
And when at last you break away
AS if to take a walk,
He'll follow you for twenty blocks
And talk and talk and talk!
Birmingham Age-Herald.
| am in the Coal Business anC
can save you money on the bes
ILL.,, Lump Coal and the fancy Mo.
Lump Coal. Get my prices before
you buy. Telephone Buffum SO.
A. Lewis Nash.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10
MAKES ASTONISHING
CURES
Mi-o-na Tablets Cure Dyspepsia by
Promptly Removing the Cause
or Money Back.

Dyspepsia cannot be cured by
taking digester, such as pepsin,
because pepsin simply digests your
food artificially and MT all of the
food either, for it has no effect at
all on starchy food such as pota-
toes, rice, oatmeal, bread, etc.
There is just one way to cure
dyspepsia and stomach disorders,
trivial or serious, and that is to
tone up or put energy into the stom-
ach walls, so that they will be able
to properly mix or churn the food.
Mona tablets cure stomach
troubles by putting strength and
energy into the stomach. They
quickly arouse the stomach from
its inaction, and in a short time it
is able to do its work Properly.
Mona is successfully used in
vomiting of pregnancy, IN car and
sea sickness.
And bear in mind that when the
stomach is in good condition, con-
stipation disappears, also nervous
ness, drowsineSS, night sweats.
heartburn, etc.
L. M. Wood the druggist, sells
Mona tablets at SO cents a large
box, under a rigid guarantee to do
all that is claimed For them or mon
ey back.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10
Cut Leg.

James Greeves has been on a
crutch for several days. A fractions
horse kicked him on the left leg
just below the knee and laid it open
four inches.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10

The motto at the Stream Barber
Shop is Nothing too good for ouI
customers"
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10
SURPRISED THE POSTWAR.
Expected a Christmas Present Which
Ne Didn't Get.

II was the day after Christmas. and
The AardworkiAg postman ploughed
HIS way through snow and cold winds.
q sack az unusual siEe on his back.
he asosnded the spacious steps OF q
West-end residence. and in answer TO
his ring \ manservant in rich livery
appeared.
wait q moment. please" said the
servant. as he took the letters. "The
mistress wishes 70 speak TO you"
The postman's eye frightened. It
was the holiday season. He had done
his duty with fidelity. Now, no doubt,
in recognition OF his regular and faith
full
Il shall be glad" he said politely,
ITO await your mistress pleasure"
In few minutes the lady appeared.
"Are YOU she asked. "our regular
postmanf"
''Yes. madam he answered. bow.
inS.
do you come in the morningY'
Yes. madam
"And In the afternoon and eveninEY"
Again he assented. smiling eagerly.
Then the lady said:
We'll. was Il you who broks our
beili"
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10

Mesdames w. R. P. jackson, Ed
mund Walker and j. Gardner Wade
and Master Jack were with Quincy
friends Thursday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10

Get my prices on the best grades
of III. and Mo. Lump Coal, before
you buy. Lewis Nash. Buffum
phone 98.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10

W. R. P. Jackson, cashier of the
F. &. M. Bank, celebrated his 58th
instead of 61st birthday last week.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10

Mrs. Robt. Meriweiher was called
to LaBelle, Thursday, by the death
of her grandmother.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10

C. w, Settle was transacting bust,
ness in Macon. Thursday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10

DR.. Hornback 0Cu,ist and Aurist,
Hannibal, Mo. If
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10

James McElroy, of Rensselaer,
was with friends in this city
Thursday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10

Have Joe at Streams shine your
shoes.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-12-10

Mrs. M. P. Asbury and daughter,
Miss Virginia. went to Canton Fri
day to visit relatives.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-18
SEVENTY MILES
AN HOUR MADE
BY AUTO DRIVERS
billiard in Lancia Car Covers
Savannah Course in 8 Min
utes and 6 Seconds.

SAVANNAH, Ga, Nov. 1S.-In pre-
liminary practise for the light car race
on November rs and the Grand Prize
race on November &c the drivers are
showing some fine bursts of speed on
the Savannah course. Despite the fact
that this was but the second day of
practise on the unobstructed course, all
traffic having been warned off dur
ing the certain hours, the drivers now
and then show almost the best speed
of which their machipes are capable.
w. H. billiard, driving a Lancia light
car, bore off the honors In yesterdays
practise. He covered the ten-mile
course In eight minutes and six seconds
on the first lap and eight minutes and
two seconds on the second lap, a rateof
more than seventy miles an hour.
Hemery, in a Benz IA drove over the
long course, 20 miles and 700 feet, in
twenty-five minutes and twenty-six
seconds.
At a meeting today It was decided
by the Savannah Automobile Club to
offer an additional prize of So, 500 to the
winner of the Grand Prize race IL his
record shall beat that of Navarro. The
Italians record Of seventy-four and
three-tenths miles an hour, average
time, is now the worlds record
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-18
NEW SWIMMING RECORDS !.
ACCEPTED BY THE A. A. u.

A new string of aquatic records were
accepted by the A. A. u. record author
tiles on Monday, but the list was not as
formidable as the last few years. c. NJ.
Daniels, of the New York A. c.. con-
tributes six, along with being one of a re-
lay team which made a new mark In the
400 yards. A.. M. Goessling, of st. Louis.
gets the 150-yard back stroke and the
200 yard breast stroke. c. s. Brown was
given credit for the plunging record of
"a feet. made last March.
Following is the list accepted:
60 Yards Oath, two turns)-C. M. Dan
iels, December 10, 1907, Pittsburg. Pa. Time,
Bis. -
70 Yards Oath. two turns)-C. NJ. Dan
iels, March 81, 1908, P~ittsburg, Pa. Time,
dos.
80 Yards Oath, three turns)-C. M. Dan
ieIs, March s. 1903, New York city. Time,
ABS.
2O Yards (open. tidal, salt water, one
turn)-C. M. Daniels. Travers Island, Sep
TENDER 10, 1905. Time. En-. 40 3-5s.
800 Yards open, tidal. salt water. two
turns)-C. M. Daniels, Travers Island, Sep
TENDER 10. 1908. Time, Am. 15s.
440 Yards (open, tidal, salt water, three
turns)-C. M. Daniels, Travers Island. Sep
TENDER 10. 1908. Time. SIN. 81 lbs.
200 Yards breast stroke, bath, nine turns)
"A. NJ. Goessling, March IS. 1908. Time,
$50 Yards (back stroke, bath, five turns)
"A. M. Goessling, March 10. 1908. Time,
I'm. lbs.
4O0-yard Relay-C. M. Daniels. C. d, Tru-
benbach. l.. b. Goodwin and George South,
March 81, 1908. Time. Am. 10 3-5s.
Plunge-For distance, I'm. limit, "a it.,
G. S. Brown, March q, 1903.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-18

new JERSEY CENTRAL
Corrected to October 4. 1908.
FOR NEW YORK.

EOH NEW 1OHh.
$40. $50. e:2o. $40. 100. 7;l5, 1870. 7;45' SEQ
10:4o, I1:00. 1920. 11:40 a. M; 1900 n: 1880,
100. 1870. 200. 2:3o, 300. $3.50, 400 4:3O. 5:O$'
s:sS s. s sc. Sc slss. s s9s5i. 49, 1870. 81 il.so Co., ?. mo m': i iisSi
night; 1850 a. m. Sundays. 700. 1880, 500, S:25
1880. 100. 1880. 200, 2.so, 300, $3.50, 400. 4:S0
800. 6.25, 500, $50, TOO. 800. s:2S. $3.50. e;25'
For Elizabeth and Plainfeld. 6:l2. $50. 5:55
1885. $50. 1890 a. M: 1880. 1:16. 1:55, 2.35,
s:S5, 4:25, $40. bss. s:1s. 7:45. s:45, $50. 1850 p
m. Sundays. 7:10. 1855. 9:55. 10:55, 11:55 a. m.
1855. 1;55. 1902. 1856. ASS. $50. 6:45, 7:35, $40
For Easton. bethlehem. Allentown and Mauct
Chunk $3.50 to Easton). 1885 a. m. 1:16, 4:2,
(5:3S to Easton) p. m. Sundays, 1856, $3.50 p. m
For Wilkesbarre and Scranton. 1886 a. m.
4:2S p. m Sundays ~ p; n. a.Ko . MIRA
1:55, 4:B 5:3S, 6:13, 8:45, 1850 p. m. Sundays
1866, u:55 a. m; 1855, $40 p. m.
For Red Bank, Long Branch, Asbury Park
ETC.. S:3h (9:5O Red Bank only. 1l:3o a. m.
II 80 p. m. Sundays. except Asbury Park, s:5l
(8.55 Red Bank only a. M; u:55 Red Bani
only, 3:5j. $40 p. m.
For Lakewood, $50 q. M; G2:5o Saturday
%s snD9sJ l;lS; 81 s;sS s:s s;as 8. 'S m!: s a:ss pa ~. 0nly' p m
For Atlantic City, $50 a. m; d2:6o satur
days only). 1896 D. m. Sundays. $3.50 a. M
Fer Trenton and rbiIsde1pnla, s;1s. 7;s5. ss:sss s
s6:is, 7:45, s:45. 1l,5o p. m. Sundays, 7:1o, s:55
s4:55. $50. s:45. 7:s5. $40. e:15 p. m.
For Baltimore and Washington, 1856. $3.50
1 5!;s AK g: M, !; Il ,;l5; a m S;9 Ss s s,Ns. p s.a %. SD: sgn ID m
philadelphia only.
Telephone $500.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-18
]. DONALD PRYOR
WILL TEACH THE
GAME At HARVARD
Former Brown University Star
Accepts Position With Cam
bridge University.

J. Donald Pryor, considered n of
the best all-round athletes in inter-
scholastic circles hereabouts when he
attended the South Orange High School
from which he was graduated In 1907,
has been chosen as head coach for
Harvard University basketball candi-
dates for the season just about to begin,
Harvard authorities nave been seek
Ing his services for a long time and to-
day tho South Orange lad decided to
take up the task of drilling the Grim
son five.
Pryor had acted as head coach for
the Hamilton College football eleven
at Clinton, N. Y, during the present
season and led the team to victory in
a majority of games played.
While playing centre on the Brown
basketball team last year Pryor was
considered the very best In college cir
cles. His work on the gridiron for the
Providence university a year g was
high class.
While attending the South Orange
High School Pryor was the centre of
attraction at every athletic contest In
which he took part. He c~aptained the
High School football, basketball and
baseball teams in 1901-1902.
Pryor is % years old. He was born
In Kansas, and was an athlete from
birth. When his PARENTS took up their
residence in South Orange Pryor was
but a boy.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-18

new treatment called Protone, is a
powerful inducer of nutrition, increases
cell-growth, makes perfect the assim-
ilation of food, increases the number
of red blood-corpuscles, and as a nee
essary result builds up muscle and
solid, healthy flesh, and rounds out the
figure.
For women who can never appear
stylish with anything they wear be-
cause of their thinness, this remark
able discovery solves the problem. An
addition even Of 10 or 20 pounds of
flesh, together with rudy cheeks,
works wonders in personal appearance.
AS a beauty maker for the figure, it
probably cannot be surpassed. 1t will
cost you nothing to prove the remark
able effects of this treatment. No Diet
ing or eating of particular kinds of
food are necessary. The treatment is
absolutely non-injurious TO the most
delicate system. The Protone Com
pany, $50 Protone Bldg, Detroit, Mich,
will send to anyone who sends name
and address a frc SOC package of
Protone with full instructions) to
prove that it does the work. They will
also send YOU their book on why You
Are Thin, free Of charge, giving facts
which will probably astonish you. Send
coupon below today with your name
and address.