davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

grasping their spitlocks and cogitating
profoundly.
l have it from one of the best sources
Imaginable that the result of these pain
full cogitations on the part of the steam
ship folks will be. at no distant date, an
outbreak of rate cutting that will make
plain folks with just so much money 10
spend and no more, and with stun I'M
satisfied lifelong laundering to visit Eu-
rope, sit up and take observations.
have been told, in fact, that by the time
the young ones are beginning to buy their
firecra ckers and pinwheels for the Fourth
of July madness. 1t will be possible TO puy
quite nice cabin. there and PACK. on the
very best boats, for so comparatively IN
consequential a piece of currency as one
hundred dollars.
So. wait. Defer. Besides the saving
effected there's always certain amount
of calm placid satisfaction In partlclpat-
ing in the benefits Of a rate war-most
particularly an ocean steamship rate war
You lean back in your steamer cndif'
you see. when you've got one OF those
substantially sliced tickets IN your wal
let, and you muse enjoyably upon no"
YOU are getting precisely tne saile ''i ~ =,
that that gloaty Smith or Jones had last
year or the year before. for ever SO much
less money than Jones or Smith mad 10
surrender for it. Very soothing ana easi-
flying. this really
Additionally. the word is out that the
English and French hotels are going to
be considerably less extortionate In their
charges upon travelling Americans this
Year than usual. New York agents OF
the lotteries chiefly patroniZed in London
and Paris by Americans are taking the
greatest pains to give the widest publicity
to this announcement. Some very terri
flying stories have appeared abroad. 1t
would appear, with reference to the ex-
treme hard times we are sufferin. over
here. and the hotel folk on the other side.
hsir in yr-ith he n
have discovered that we're going TO visit
EN- in vastly decreased numbers this
summer.
Agents Come for Tourists.
They are sending their agents over to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

Losing weight at every step. the man
who had been little foolish on the
previous night plodded along. ineffect-
ually striving to dodge the fellers. but
never succeeding. The next one caught
him with this:
Sad, sad stuff old hawss: sad indeed
You ought to flag it. When I ran into
you you were tossing chunks of loose
asphalt at an arc light, and occasionally
biting chunks out of the asphalt. and
all the time you were moaning pitifully
for human blood. and a lot of it. Sad
/ call it. burned sad. Better blow that
stuff"
Thus on
1t was one of the meanest days of his
experience.
They all told him about it.
They all were crazy to tell him about
it.
And they all told him different things.
They told him so many things of his
performances-his purely alleged perform
ances-of the previous evening and night
that along toward the end of the after
noon he wondered how il was that he
hadn't been pinched ten or fifteen differ
ent times; why he hadn't made himself
liable to a sentence of ninety years at
Moundsviile at hard labor and on bread
and water.
All theSkame, along toward the wind
up of the afternoon the man who had
been little foolish began to curl up some
under this blabberino treatment.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23
Small Talk of Gratitude.

years. is the best month for the boat
rocker.
Presently. too, the man who wants to
change seats in the flatbottomed skiff
about seventeen times an hour will be
showing up in the dispatches. BY the
way, did you ever notice that the man
who constantly bankers to change his
seat in the fiat-bottomed skiff never
knows how to swim a stroke? Quite a
few of the seat changers went to their
last sad accounting during the winsome
month of May last year. and l am pre-
pared to hear plentifully from him this
year. The seat changer. of course. al
ways carries with him over the big d.
vide several strong swimmers. fellow
occupants with him of the flat-bottomed
skiff. The strong swimmers invara bly,
get theirs in trying to save the lives of
the seat swtchers. AS to the strong
swimmers themselves, they don't gener-
ally get right busy in shutting off the
mortal coil till long toward the middle of
June. Most of the chaps over whom the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23
SHES a rock at a hen.

SHES a rock at a hen.
II notice. too. that boys are more pro-
ficient at the game of diabolo which of
course was never heard of when / was
youngster. The girls go at diabolo sort
of mincingly. and. apparently. without the
courage to take a chance on making the
toss at the critical point in maneuveriEg
the spool. The boy, naturally more reck-
less. takes the chance, and sings the
spool into the air on venture. with the
result that in time he attains greater pro-
ficiency than the girl by sheer force OF
bullying power over the spool, SO to
speak.
There used to be a regular season for
marbles or alleys when l was a boy, but
the boys out in my neighborhood seem to
play marbles the year around. except
when the ground is frozen or the snow
is on the earth. The boys have got a
game Of marbles now that don't seem to
remember having played when l was a
youngster. The ring is only about foot
in diameter. and the taw line is about a
dozen feet away. From the taw line the
boys plump at the marbles in the ring.
and they are not allowed to roll their
marbles on the ground at all. This Is a
game of marbles that requires a steady
hand and first-rate craftsmanship. Only
the most scientific marble playing boys
play the game. The others stick to the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

is invariably one strong willed. determined.
masterful boy or girl who overtops the
others and whose eXaction OF unquestion-
ing obedience from all the others Is quite
beyond grown-up analysis. This master
full young one is the leader in the follow
my-leader game by general consent. and
chosen for the position without any spoken
words. 1t just falls that way, and that
the way 1t fell as to the game watched
organizing the other day. just as 1t used
to be in our follow-the-leader games away
back yonder in the mist of years. And.
when you come to think of it. follow my
leader is a game that is calculated to
bring out the strong points and the nerve
of the children who engage in 1t. 1t is
the business of the followers of their
leader to do anything and everything that
their leader does, including the wadins
through puddles. hopping fences. swing
ing on rickety gates and other little di-
versions sufficiently out of the ordinary
to cause the reluctant youngster to be
called 'cowardly.'
"Out in my neighborhood this seems to
be the height of the top season. l OBJ
serve that the girls are spinning tops now,
though they didn't have much truck with
them when / was a boy. Girls. however.
don't appear to master the curves of the
top business A CIR! throws top from
string something like a grown woman
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

best-is clerk to the House committee on
appropriations. Some OF the members Of
that same body gratefully say that he is
the committee and that they are merely
ornaments. At any rate Mr.. Courts. one
of the most democratic of men. appeared
at work couple of weeks ago wearing
in the lapel of his coat red and white
foreign order button of some kind that
looked as If II might be the everyday
insignia Of the Order of ST. Stanislaus.
the Rising Sun. the Red Eagle or what
not.
Whatever the button meant Mr.. Courts
wouldn't tell When asked about II he
merely smiled and became evasive.
Suggestions that the Emperor of Japan
might have conferred the decoration in
view of the fact that the appropriations
committee bitterly opposed President
Roosevelt's four-battleship proposition.
resulting in not even rise. Mr.. Courts
lips were sealed.
But the other day Mr.. Courts boy
lively youngster-came up to the Capitol
to see his daddy. and with the frankness
peculiar to youth offered a solution OF
the riddle. Mr. Courts was out of the
room at the time and a member of the
committee said to the young chap:
Whats that button your father wears
and where did he get it,
oh" said the young man. hasn't
papa told you' He's very proud of 1t.
Why. he got that button at church"
AT church, repeated the puzzled
member.
Sure said the boy lat church. He
went TO service the other day for tha
first time in a year. and when the man
in the next pew saw him come in ha
took that button out of the lapel of his
coat. and when papa sat down handed it
to him. Papa doesn't know what. 1t
A.. r.
he thinks he earned it,
And the story must be true. because Sir
John hasn't denied ii yet
IRVING c. NORWOOD.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

! nesses and the pictures of other re-
nowned American painters on the market.
| or in collections. that were not painted
| by these artists at all.
Anent Bogus Paintings.
| 1t is admitted by the very best critics
some Of the cutest little great and near
great critics we have-that these
| same limitations are intrinsically heauti-
full; that they are perfect limitations Of
the artists whose names they bear; SC
perfect as to deceive the profoundest stu
dents of the dead painters-some OF whom,
themselves, by the way, Martin especial
ly. died in poverty and obscurity
Very we'll. If these limitations are so
intrinsically beautiful and all that and
such perfect examples in bogus of the
works of the dead artists. why really.
should they not be worth quite as much
as the real pictures of the dead painters?
And why should any owners of the imita-
tons be stampeded and sore and all
similar?
Oh, because, because. It's all in thu
name. of course-like the suit of clothes
that you pay $50 for because it has a GER
tain tallors name attached to il when
the suit intrinscally and sartorially is
only worth about one-half that money.
The pitiable part of the whole thing IS
that there are artists Lying right here IN
New York now. able to nal Ike just bare
living by taking pictures and touching up
and restoring paintings and that sort OF
thing. who can paint Homer Martins and
George Illnesses just as good even. ac-
cording to the critics, as the works of
those dead American masters and Vet
who can not by any possibility gain any
recognition for themselves as original
artists. For why? Because they are not
yet dead. It's as easy as hickory nuts
If you have genius. all you have TO do to
become distinguished American artist,
with rich folk lighting to get possession
of your paintings. is to-er-die..
This is inconvenient. but il is necessary.
CLARENCE L. CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

ut occurred to me. just the other day.
that l had never written book or
play, This is an oversight that must
81 be corrected at once You know,
almost every newspaper man has
written one of each or, perhaps. many of
both. They write EN- while young and
unemployed and. being stunned into tenn
porary insensibility by the brilliancy of
their own genius. gallop into a newspaper
Office and land a job at four dollars
week. covering the local dog pound or re-
writing mail correspondence from HicE-
ettyville or Pinburg- by-the-P Pump. Their
literary productions make many journeys
TO editorial sanctums throughout the
country but always come home to roost.
After a moderate period at this high
grade labor of letters. the embryo. editor
begins to speak of himself as a journal
ist' and. rereadng the book or play. finds
several errors of a minor character thar
escaped his notice the first time.
Whereupon. these being corrected, the eff
fort makes another interrupted journey
10 all the publishing houses between
Maine and California.
Now. all this takes time. and meanwhile
the correspondents as this abstract and
imperSonal hero of ours now calls him.
self. has been elevated to the dignity of
assisting the regular man at the police
court and has even been permitted to
write a couple of stories OF the notorious
divorce trial of Singers vs.. Singers, and
to elaborate upon the reasons given by
Ferdinand Snicgers. the defendant for
playfully caressing the plaintiff with hot
chatting dish. Also. he has meen raised to
Sc week. and begins TO smoke cigars at
two for quarter and cigarettes at 25
cents the box. and to be particular about
the quality of the cerise alcohol he CASTS
into his lunch chute
Now comes long. long. long. long long
hiatus. The book or play, or whatever 1t
may be, slumbers In the family trunk. The
newspaper man, wiser than of yore
spends but little of his salary in boosting
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

mentary little paragraph in this column
concerning Representative Thomas of
North Carolina and his dignity. caution
and thorough appreciation of the value of
advertising Twas little thing poor
thing but such as it was, twas offered
out of the gentle kindness of soft and
yielding optimism.
At ii o'clock the following Monday
morning an employee called to me as en-
tered the press gallery.
Say" he said. there was a man up
hereto sea you this morning He wanted
TO see you awful bad, too. Yes, he left
his name. Thomas it was
Did he wait long," / inquired.
oh yes" replied the attendant. :He
was here when the doors opened at s
o'clock this morning and ne stayed until
half-past 10. He said he was coming
back. too.
He didn't say, but it must have been
important He ate three or four of mis-
finger nails while he was waiting
You know, a little thing like that
touches me. l call that gratitude. Mr..
Thomas wanted to thank me. He was so
much obliged he couldn't wait. 1 am
touched I am so deeply touched that I'll
accept the thanks telepathetically. Maybe
that's the best way after all. It's embar-
RAISING to be thanked-sometimes.
Very Real Versatility.
Talking about versatility. Whew! IN.
o. Nor Jack Messenger, as he is
called in everyday life-gave a most as
tonishing exhibition of it last Sunday.
With a party of friends Mr.. Messenger
was making the trip from Newport to
Richmond on a chartered steamer-the
Pennsylvania-of the n. Y P. and n. line.
1t was the first time this steamer had
ever been up the James. and. incidentally,
she was the biggest vessel that ever got
ND as far as Richmond. Her captain and
pilot were not as familiar with the river
as they would have liked to have been,
and as the stream above jamestown Is
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

ing with a broken neck, although he is
sure to be paralyzed and perfectly help
less for the remainder OF his life. Well
he getting these headforemost divers into
shallow water right along now till about
the middle of September. and. as usual.
the remarkable surgical operation head
line will be placed over these dispatches
every time the occurrences occur.
THE Delaware and Georgia peach crops.
of course already are hopelessly hashed-
we never fail to get the hashed peach
crop dispatches on schedule time-and the
new kind of insect that has been import
ed from Nicaragua to prey upon the boil
weevil in the cotton fields of the south
has shown up as per schedule. I am
somewhat surprised that, up to the pres
emit time. there have been so few in
stances Of celebrated mountain climbers
having lost their lives by pitching into
unfathomable crevasses. Something odd
about this, the crevasse stories are away
behind time. We used to get these noun
tain climbers deaths as early as April.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

ment must have worked like the dickens
oh, yes. and of course YOU remember
how l raided the weekly meeting of the
Oldest Inhabitants Association, and how
l banged the heads of the poor old mon
together, and threw about forty of them
out of the window. and all like thato
Yes, indeedy! That was mild form 81
amusement, of course. but | was sort -
resting up when l did that and | only
did it TO give myself breathing spell
BY the way, what time was IL when 7
ran into that orphanage uptown and
soaked the clothing of lot of the chill
dren In kerosense and applied matches TO
them, and what did the"
But the blabberino who liked to tell
sore-headed men all about il on the fol-
lowing day had gradually been backing
on. and when the man who had been a
little foolish on the previous evening
reached this point the aforesaid emitted \
low. smothered snriek of alarm and fled
down the street
Well. that's one of 'em cured of the
blabbing habit. anyhow" muttered the
man who had been a little foolish on the
previous evening. hopping his throhbng
brow. But he's only one. l wish all of.
the next-morning chinners had but one
ear, so that I could say similar things
into it,
Query: Why is a next-morning blah-
Dist, anyhow? And isn't there a measly
and inherently cruel streak In all next
morning blabbists?
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

Yeast Forks, Ioway, and Hully Chee. Ne
braskey.
by ice cream headline appeared on
schedule time this year. but for some
reason t.4a. isn't yet clear to me the
whoppingest tuna or sea bass ever cap
tured off Santa Catalina Island. Cal,
hasn't yet been gathered in. Come TO
think of it, maybe I'm bit ahead OF
my dope chart in expecting the biggest
tuna story quite yet.
THE time approaches. too. for the young
man who tries to carve his name on the
highest rock of the Natural Bridge of
Virginia to be picked up in mangled
and lifeless state. but perhaps ne iying
low for a little warmer weather, SOS to
make his attempt little more difficult
than 1t ordinarily Is.
THE boy who dives off the bridge span
sixty feet above the river into eleven men
es of water has got around in good season
this year. I've already read in one dis
patch how he's now in the hospital, liv-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

That is to say, it began to irk him.
Il don't tell these mullet-conks all
about it the next morning when I've met
up with them on their riotous rounds on
the previous night" said he himself.
land l sure am becoming some peeved
over the way they are dishing it out to
me. Yes, l am. l sure am Darned II
amt These blabbists are beginning
To get me around the region of the rub-a-
dub-dub. The next one Of them that
tries TO put one over on Newell watch
me beat him to it, that's all. Watch me
do that same
The next one wasn't long in showing
up. He hailed the victim at consider
able distance. with a gloaty expression
on his chart. and he began this way:
''Why, you bloomink old Navajo. what
got into you to hop the reservation and
lap up all that pulque juice and
He didn't get any further.
The victim took right a-hold of his coat
lapel. dragged him over to a shady door
way and spake unto him as followeth:
"Oh, just for fun. just for fun. Because
like it. Had a great time, too. Great
est time ever. Let's see. Was 1t nine
or eleven eight-foot cops that l licked?
Oh. yes-eleven; l remember now. Be-
sides the eleven cops / crushed the
skulls of nineteen nightliners. killed four
barkeeps and wantonly broke the arms OF
seventeen little. children that l met up
with while they were out roller skating.
NO mistake at all, / had not one soil
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

beach doctors work unavailngly for two
hours are described strong and expert
swimmers. you'll remember They're such
strong swimmers that swimming WltAln
the breaker line at the seashore looks just
too foolish and trif1ng for anything to
them. and so, after they plant few girls
on the hotel porch or on the board walk
to watch 'em act strong, they just over
hand it out beyond the breaker line to
their last sad rites, as cute and cunnin'
as can be.
Right soon, expect we'll he sorrow
ing over the fellows who. never having
sailed a boat in their lives before, play
fully loosen a catamaran from its moor
ings and start out for a little ride around
the harbor or down the river. The sud
denest scuau ever seen in these parts
by the oldest inha bitant always dumps
the man who never sailed boat before
into the kissing. angry pillows. Like the
man who aches to change his seat in
the hat-bottomed skiff every two or three
minutes, the catamaran sailor who doesn
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

little bit of money attached thereto. and
shelter. Every employment agency in
New York is packed nowadays literally to
the doors and outside the doors with do
nestle SERVANTS out of employment, and
in these crews one is pretty liable. sooner
or later. to recognize some harridan who
formerly made his and his wife's lives
miserable now humbled to the dust and
willing to take any kind of billet and to
sign an agreement along with it to be
good and civil-tongued and tractable, and
the like of that and those. 1t is now pos
sible for the holder of a moderate-priced
apartment to actually take his or her pick
of a quite visit ful-eyed lot Of domestics
who only little brief year ago were
roaringly defiant termagants who knew
no will but their own, and suppose per-
haps this isn't a delightful experience for
tens of thousands of New York folks who
for all these long years have been all but
on their marrowbones to their apartment
servants!
AS a matter Of fact. quite a lot of mar
kets have broken around here lately The
diamond market. to add another instance.
A singular story of grief was impaired to
me yesterday by a racing acquaintance
who is up and down irf the world so often.
owing to his incurable addiction to the
ponies, that he wouldn't know the differ
ence in temperature if he were to be sud
denly whisked from a South American
swamp on the equator to the topmost
peak of the Himalayas.
The narrative of woe appertained to the
proceeding termed by him hooking his
stuff He possesses many large and fool
ish diamonds, and so does his spouse Last
week. at the Belmont track. the wind of
adversely hit him all of heap and shriv-
eled him to the dimensions of a human
caterpillar, speaking from the money end
of it, so that the only natural and imme-
date thing for him to do was to "hock his
stuff" And this is where his grief got
into action.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-23

told me this with a lump in his throat
and a suspicion of moisture near the cor
ners of his eyes. Only one-half! He
wouldn't believe it when he went to his
old hook shop first. and thought they
were only trying to kid him, but he
trudged all up and down the pawning
line with his ornate kimberleys, and, yes.
sir. it was true all right enough, they
all offered him virtually the same
amounts on his Junk" and the amounts
were only one-half what he could have
got on the stuff this time last year.
The diamond market, the loan people told
him, had gone all to the bow-wows, and
folk who had for years been investing
their hard wrung coin in diamonds on the
presumption that they were in right along
on climbing investment were now find
ing their dollars cut smack in two. just
like those dollars that we heard so much
about at the time Mr.. Bryan's Is to /
proposition first sailed into public view
for general maceration.
I condoled with my racing acquant-
ance. of course. but he went away incon-
solabla Whisper: Maybe he'll be a
little more inconsola BILE. little later on.
when Mr. Hughes. governor of this
state succ aeds in shutting up all of the
race tracks around here And. even II
YOU are not accustomed to making pleas
ant little wagers you can set it down
as one of the finest gueSses you ever
guessed that Mr.. Hughes is going to shut
IN the race tracks around here before he
gets through with the business. This
however, is only one of those ong pos
song remarks. as John w Gates would
say.
Another market that has broken all to
finders around here you've. of course,
noticed. is the picture market Yes. yes.
all of us who have one or two Little
specimens of American art are looking
than, over with dubious eyes these fore
Moons and evenings. and wondering
whether they're really worth what We
gave for them or worth only just so
MUCH
But, by the way. Here Is feature OF
this great picture expose that seems to
have been quite lost sight of. 1t is said.
yol'u have read that there are great
many Homer Martins and George In