The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-02-19
A COIN OF COURTESY
THE GUINEA OF THE ENGLiSHMAN
IS NOT A COIN AT ALL.

Existence. and II Is Used Only In
Imagination rs "A Rather Awkward
Standard of Monetary Value.
Englishman the guinea is the most
amazing. The other day an American
guest inquired of me. What is a gum
ea:' He had been asked for one by a
circulating 'brary. 1t seems an easy
question TO answer. but as | had been
puzzIing over the division of an imagi-
nary guinea into four parts the expla-
nation touk time. 1t was as difficult as
explaining cricket to a German-ia
German.
SHOW me one" said the American.
/ confessed that l did not possess
one.
What, not $685."
Eyes, but not a guinea. We don't
have guinea in England any more
But you talk in guineas"'
That's our fun" replied lamely.
Nevertheless there is something to be
said for our system. Indeed, one might
argue that this incessant obstacle race
over the multiplication tables that we
have to enter insures a bracing of the
muscles. We are always kept on the
alert to fathom the relations between q
polite, a perch and guinea or some
such absurd and fortuitous combina-
ton. And one may suspect that this
tightening and Strengthening OF the
muscles in the obstacle race Is really
the source of England's greatness.
For all practical purposes the guinea
in which we TALKS the most prepos-
terously absurd coin in the world, for
it does not exist-corporeally. Some
few honest citizens wear spade guineas
on their watch chains. But II they tried
to pass them over to the booking clerk
on the underground railway they would
be in danger of the Judgment. There
are no guineas in England. Yes, in
Imagination they exist.
And never more accuse yourself OF
belonging to an unimaginative nation
of shopkeepers! The guinea is the coin
Of courtesy, just because 1t Is not a
coin at all. And it's preservation as an
anomaly is a curious proof of the In
nate courtesy of the Englishman, who
will face any arithmetical inconven-
fence rather than put a slur on a
friend.
This you may see from the lists of
subscriptions for the gentleman in dis
tress. You cannot offer him the neces-
saries Of life. When the friend falls
by the wayside it must be guineas, not
sovereigns, that you supply, and one
feels glad that the remarks of the
meanest sport that exists-the sport OF
kings-offers prizes in "sovs." 1t Is
merely the analogue of that convention
which regulates gifts between equals.
Etiquette forbids your sending q
friend leg Of mutton-that Is, a SOW
ereign, the ordinary, humdrum coin
But you may send him pheasants, oys.
ters, grouse or salmon, more especially
If the salmon is the victim Of your own
erode, pole and perch.' Possibly the
real explanation Is that as matter OF
courtesy. you may not give a man
what he could obtain at the nearest
shOp-it must be something that is moi
easily obtainable.
Now, a guinea Is not easily obtaina
BILE, and the difference between offer
ing a man guinea and offering him &
sovereign is the difference between
sending a man a leg of mutton and
sending him barrel of oysters. THAI
little silly shilling stuck on to the SOW
ereign, that retention Of the ghost of 6
coin long dead and borne on a watch
chain, with the locket containing q
twist of great-great-auntie's hair, wa.
it's significance.
! 1t is the embodiment of the English
mans innate idealism. 1t Is like the
equally silly Esq" which we tack or
the names of friends. There are NJ
esquires nowadays and no guineas, bu
we. see them with the eye Of faith
And we sacrifice to our faith consider
able muscular eXertion, many blobs o.
ink and sundry shillings that nigh
otherwise stock our houses with cheaI
reprints Of the worlds best books.
You will naturally conclude that
did not put this view before my Amer
lean friend. He would scarcely under
stand it. l led him gently to the pala
tial bank premises into which I bur
riedly cast my weekly wage for fear
should lose 1t on the way home ant
pointed out to him lowering my voic,
+ discreetly, as becomes the suppliant il
the temple of wealth..
"Note that young man." I said. II
is adding up three columns Of figures
There are guineas, things that won
fraternize with half crowns or fou
shilling pieces or forms or half sover
eigns or sovereigns, but you will per
ceive that this young man is taking
them in his stride. Now, what abou
his muscles"
Il should conclude" said the Amer
can guest thoughtfully. that youn
man who can put IL guineas togethe
and make 'em dollars can do any
thing
The guinea 1 explained as W
went out into Piccadilly, lis the sourc
of England's greatness And tn
American guest remained thoughtful
London Chronicle.