The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-10-14
DRIFT WOOD

If you have round sum the world will treat you square some.
 Sometimes it isn't such a strain On the singers voice as 1t Is on the hear| CTS nerves. =
 Dear Driftwood--I am engaged to a man who swears badly. Would you marry. him?-Blue Eyes.
 No; walt until he learns to .swear better.
 girls" these days. 1t seems they have to ring bachelor into their lives some way.
 get rid of indigestion Is to stop eat ing. That's the way to get rid of most anything.
 Anyone who lives in Montgomery Is a, capitalist because it is the. capital
 
 Poor unsophisticated antiquested Mother Eve. She was happy and satisfied when fall of the year came in the different leaves to choose from. The barrel oft inflames the man.
 A woman likes her husband of all people to treat her with consideration financial considera tion.
 Women often like to be not only a light in society but searchlight as well.
 Sometimes a woman's costume is beyond description and beyond her purse at one and the same time.
 The right sort of fellow can hold. a girls hand and hold his own at the. same time.
 What did you think of the great Poet?" and swearing at the office boy because he had forgotten to bring him any onions for his lunch
 Let there be a limit" sings west ern poet. What's the matter with W. R. Hearst. Hey?
 If you've put 'em on don't take 'em
 What's the matter with constructing those aeroplanes on the order of a cat so they will invariably land on their feet?
 The most inconsistent sight in the world Is to see an old man with a pipe in his mouth warning his small boy not to smoke.
 Lots of people complain of this life who, if they think they are in inn mediate danger of swapping it off for another. make a noise like crawfish,
 An old grey-headed bachelor when he is feeling unusually lonely likes to get off where no one is looking and cuddle cat up in his arms.
 "she has a willowly form"
 "Yes; and when she's weeping she looks more like a willow than ever"
 A Canton woman has washboard that has been. in use, for forty years. [Ah. there's the rub
 Barber-Have anything on your Victim did when came in here.
 Southern California yields 2,000 tons of salt per year, which isn't surpris- number of fresh young Holsters out there.
 The swan lives to be 300 years old before 1t tries to sing which 1t only
 
 ample of the swan?
 Sad to chronicle 1t. but at last the little Montgomery Blondes have put their dainty peekaboos away for the winter and dropped tear or two m doing so.
 The omaha Bee seems to have stuns the c. O. P.
 As election day draweth nearer the people who wanteth Democratic post offices whistleth cherrily.
 Ringling Brothers have the greatest show on earth. but then so has Bryan this time.
 Fall Fire Days. Fall fire days And the leaping blaze Up the chimney quickly going And the eyes of you So deep and blue ,-,.,-. .-. And your cheeks so brightly glowing While sthe popcorn pops And leaps and hops As your laughters sweetly ringing. My joys complete For you look so sweet That my arms round you are clinging, Fall fire days
 And autumn haze Are the days that seem so cherry While the blaze burns blue And you heart beats true WH- Il. sAa nT