davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
"What Has Posterity Done for
Us Anyhow" Asked Sir
Boyle Roche.

A medical student, who was asked
what progress he had made In his pro-
fession, replied: II hope soon to be
qualified to be a physician, for I think
I am now able to cure I child"
A miller, who found that a rival In
trade was about to set up a windmill
beside his, tried to dissuade him by the
remark, You see, there is not wind
enough to move one windmill, let alone
two"
""I will make her." said the Irish
baronet Of his intended wife, Lady
O'Trigger, ard a good husband into the
bargain" i.
It was Sir Boyle Roche, famed for his
frequent use of bulls. who once de-
clared, "Mr. Speaker, L do not see why
we should put ourselves out OF the
way for posterity. What has posterity
done for us?"
On another occasion he said, Il am
willing to give up not a. part. but the
whole, of the CONSTITUTE IN, to preserve
the remainder"
An Irish %litterateur, upon eating an
apple pie favored with a few green
goose berries, exclaimed, with gusto:
"Ah. what a darling of an apple pie
it would be if it was al. made Of green
gooseberries!"
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
SAVE UP YOUR DIMES
AND GO TA THE LYRIC.

The new Lyric Theatre has a whack-
ing good bill this week. There's Julian
Rose, who tells of the. strange adven-
lures of "Levinsky at the Wedding"
Some in the audience laughed so hard
at him last night they couldn't stop
when they went home. Clarice Vance,
always among the cleverest of vaude-
Vile headliners. has few equals in
coon songs. She's the best thing on the
bill. Caryl Wilbur and Miss Zoe Gill
man, in a comedy sketch, .61 Prospect
Street. make their share of the fun.
''Why Hubby Missed the Train is a
SCREAM" in which Mcmahon and Cha
pelle appear. The Romanos ave a
musical act of merit; Hodges and
Launchmere, a comedy singing act,
that's not so good; the Marco Twins,
Solongy and Soshorty, keep the laughs
going; Solongy's burlesque on Salome
is about the limit in the ridiculous
Save up your dimes or rob the
savings bank of it's pennies and go
to the Lyric.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03

~ EAR old, homely old, funny old
~ Josh Whitcomb is with US
again, with all of the familiar
characters in THE Old Homestead" at
which we've laughed for many a year,
without losing our relish for doing 1t
all over again as often as possible.
Those who attended last night to
compare the work of William Lawrence
with that of Denman Thompson had no
complaint to make. L~awrence's Uncle
Josh" was an excellent piece of work,
with details carefully planned and skill
fully worked out. The sympathy of the
audience was with Uncle Josh, even
when Uncle Josh appeared most ridicu-
lous. When the exasperated old man
squared off to settle" Harlem Spider
those out in front fairly chortled with
glee, and they Rugged themselves when
he accused the letterman of robbing the
mail, alphabetically remarking after
ward that he didn't know twas the
postmaster" y
Considerable ability was displayed by
Miss Anita Fowler in the role of Rick
ETY. Ann. Miss Maggie Breyer was a
sweet, natural Aunt Tidy and tCy
Prime and Seth Perkins, the child
ish, scrappy old countrymen, were ex-
cellently played by Frederick Maynard
and Charles H. Clark. The double
quartet sang the old-time favorites as
melodiously as ever before, and every
body went home happy.
1.-THE Old Homestead" is good to look
! 3pon and hear .rfle scenes are well
! presented, the players are bright and in
sympathy with their homely roles, n
the dialogue Is clean. When you go to
see 1t, take our folks, children and all.
ADELINE STANLEY CARRICK.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
Her Wooden Headed Son.

A PROUD maternal heart declared
"A that there was never such an
other as her son Bill, who had made
two chairs and a fiddle out Of his own
head and had, wood enough left to
make one more.
"I will never spake to o more!'
declared a lover furiously. "Kape your
.spake to yourself Them retorted the
girl. IT am sure I can live without
either 1t or your company" II am
sure SO can 1 then!' came the surpris-
ing answer. ~ i
An Irish carpenter sent in a bill for
changing two barndoors and himself,
seven hours, two dollars and a half,
. A young woman admitted that she
liked her lover very much, but said
she was the darling of a widowed
mother whose kindness could not be
equaled. Marry me-" begged the en-
thusiastic lover, land see If I don't
beat your mother!"
"As I was going ove the bridge the
other day. said a son of Erin, II met
Michael Connolly. Connolly says I.
how are your Pretty well, thank you,
Keefe,' says he. 'Keefe!' says I, that's
not my name!' Faith says he, and
mines not Connolly!' With that we
looked again at each other, and sure
enough it was nayther of u.s."
An Irish paper told of a poor deaf
man named Gaff, who was killed by
being run over by a locomotive. And
he received similar injury this time
last year." added the paper.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
Sir Richard Steele's Ret0rt-Le-
gal Wit and the Persiflage
of Erin'S Sons.

CIR RICHARD STEELE, that
- famous Irish knight of cleverness
and wit, once invited an English noble
mar to visit him by saying: "If, sir,
you ever come within a mile of my
house, I hope you will stop there!'
It was this same Sir Richard that,
on being asked why his countrymen
made SO many bulls. replied: II cannot
tell If 1t is not the effect Of climate.
] fancy If an Englishman was born in
Ireland he would make as many"
An Irishman who married at 10 re-
pented of his choice and swore that he
would not get married so young again
II, he lived to be as old as Methuselah.
On examining an Invoice Of goods a
merchant found everything correct ex-
cept one hammer, which was missing,
ooh. don't be unaisy, sir" cried the
Irish assistant. "Sure 1 must have
taken it out to open the hogshead!"
"Whiniver %anyone's asked me what
country I aloike best, I've always tould
him Oirland," said a sturdy laborer.
But" he added, mo ones liver asked
me yit.''
The Irish porter of a Dublin grocer
was accused of stealing chocolate. In
court his master charged him with SELL
ing it, thus wounding his pride. In
dade, SIR" he said, do you think 10
have sold it?" Then what did you dc
with it?" was asked. "Since You mus
know, 1 took 1t home, and me an my
ould oman made tay of It,"
A salesman in the old country recon-
mended a certain rich material by say
ing, Madam, 1t will wear forever and
make a p%etticoat a~fterward."
Two members of the bar, Doyle an6
Yelverton, quarreled and came tc
blows. Doyle knocked Yelverton dowr
twice and exclaimed: you scoundrel
I'll make you behave yourself like 6
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
SHALL THE MUNICIPALITIES BE MULcTEDa

When the Legislature of 1906 by what the Trenton Times calls a spasm OF
generosity" allowed to III municipalities about W o-thfrds of the hrt- class rail-
road taxes under the new railroad tai law. retaining for State uses a N amount
eoua to m half of Der cent. of the rate assessed, it simply retained for the
state what it had previously appropriated for State purposes and allowed the
municipalities the balance. This vas n o loss to the statef from what it had been
getting. All the property assessed lies in the municipalities all the State
cent share Of he State. municipal Ike on property are taken. Governor Fort
aware of h real condition of the State treasury, recommended to the. last
Legislature that the State reach out n appropriate a large part Oft hi munich
pal tax income That proposition is debatabhe and it will be subjected to vigor-
VI criticism before the Legislature to act upon it,. Something will. be
said about the policy of running a State government into bankruptcy and then
flching revenues rom the harassed municipalities to make III the deficit created.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
BLANEY'S PUTS ON TEXAS"
AND IT'S PATRONS LIKE IT..

The welcome accorded Texas" last
night at Blaney's shows 1t has not lost
a whit of its popularity. Mr.. Teize's
play is not as improbable as some of
the thrillers acted at these popular
priced houses, but there are lines and
situations that will hardly stand the
test of probability. Play and players,
however, give just a touch Of real SEN
timent and heroic action that keeps the
spectators awake to the situations, and
when a melodrama of this kind is acted
by a company that gives 1t the swing
and the vigor that makes melodrama
convincing for the moment it is worth
while. -
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
COLUMBIA MELODRAMA MAKES
A HIT: SCENE IN UTAH.

A Western m~elodrama, Through
Death Valley by Joseph LeBrandt,, sfsS
the attraction at the Columbia Theatre
this week. The audience seemed we'll
pleased at the performance last night:
The scenes of the play are laid in Utah..
where Noah Claypool, a Mormon elder,
attempts to make a young girl. Bess
Hamilton, marry his villainous' son, Ike
Claypool. Ralph Salnone, Dollie Du-
pree and a full-blooded Indian quar-
tet gave specialties. The company Isl
good.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
REASON FOR THANKSGIVING.

The Presidents Thanksgiving proclamation reminds the American people
that they have much to be thankful for, both in their national and Individual
lives Since the lastT Thanksgiving Day the country las passed through a great
trial and encountered great perns. the worst OF which was happily avGted. 1t
is NJ secret that h panic that at in last fall threatened a national calamity
and hat if the most heroic efforts had lot been made by the government by
banks and by great capitalists, a calamity would have beer witnessed. There
W. been tremendous losses, many people hav experienced hardshps, and not
"a few ben reduced to want but the worst did lot happen, and the country is
slowly recuperating. With our boundless resouces and unbounded energesa IS
a people " nus soon be established again on a new inc soider oasis Of pros
periy. The Thanksgiving bservanc this year should lack nor Of h genuine
spirit Of hankfuness. t- s--y~
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
WALDMANN'S might OWLS -.
A GREAT BIG SUCCESS.

Charles Robinson and his Might
Owls unfolded a show at Waldmann'ss
last night that "a be classed among
the best b%urlesque offerings of the sea-
son. Robinson is the star, and his sup.
port is gilt-edged. The costumes
handsome, the chorus a real live beauty3
show, and the entire performance IA
merry up-to-date affair. Mr.. Robinson
and Harry Devine are entrusted with al
majority of the comedy lines in 4theS
opening conglomeration of spleasurable
nonsense entitled 1.-THE Trimming Shop"
Musical numbers were introduced and
there were some sheath gown girls"
The olio is the best yet for 1908 at
Waldmann's.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03

What the Critics Say Of
What Newark Theatres
Offer TO Amuse You:
.

two skits was just a rollicking bridge
between the two sea of laughter.
A pretty chorus and good comedy
work were the features at Miners En-
pire. Jim Dixon, the street singer;
Eleanor Revere and May Yuir n Jack
Kingston carried away the honors In
the olio. The last skit ended with a
song of nations that was "all to the
good" Tonight there will be two
shows, one at S:15 and another at 11:30
p. m.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03

Governor Fort, in his favorable comment on the remarkable ante election
messageb Y State comptroller West, telling of a phantom cash balance of nearly
three millions in the Estate treasury evidently forgot what HI said a few months
ago to he Legislature. What he said was this: when, therefore, he ppro-
pdaton bills nov pending before the Legislature arep passed. W e shall haves State
able to meet them leaving a shortage in the treasury the State O s6s765572"
There is % a shortage in the treasury, in place of a surplus. Comptroller
Vest knows hw much it is, but possessed of that knowledge, he sent a mewage
to- the Governo last saturday, intended for publication and public deception,
alleging that there was a balance of cash he State treasury amounting to
s2as7S47.
The temporary truce between the regular Republican organization ant the
Colby organization will end tonight In the event of Senator Colby+s reelection
the regular organization manager can De prepared to accept a master and sub
nit to his orders or fight under signal disadvantages The Colby organization
isready to take charge of the county management.
u Women folk will feel thankful when h election is over IN its aftermath
has disappeared from the daily newspaper The average woman reader has no
interest in political subjects She may De strongly partisan in her feelings. but
reports of political meetings n speeches printed in h newspapers are blank
70 her interest She turns from then YEARLY to the womans page, the mar
riases and deaths and other things more congenial And may it every be thus.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
THE FIRST ELECTION RETURNS.

III fstr eturn Of he election In Essex count tonight will con from East
orange, wherea LII the districts except ne are equipped with voting machines
he only machines O in use in he county. hi first returns from Hudson
county will com from Bayonne, which also retains h machines. and for the
reason tn tricky evasion Of tn special election law by local officials
onne las year "a Fort for Governor a plurality of 232 and elected thu whole
Republican ticket. A change in Bayonne, whether by increase OF the Republican,
OF its disappearance, will be a large straw to how the drift OF thce cleo
ton in Hudson, as the population Of the town is a mixed one and fairly repre-
sentative Of the entire county.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
M CLOSE.

The melancholy of ms woods and !
plains )
When summer nears its close; .
the drowsy, dim, \
Unfathomed sadness OF the
mists that swim !
About the valleys after night !,
long rains;
The humming garden, with its |
tawny chains :
OF gourds and blossoms, rip !
ened to the brim;
And then at v the low moons {
quiet rim,
And the slow sunset, whose one =
cloud remains, ft~.
Fill me with peace that is akin !
to tears; ,
Unutterable peace. that moves J
as in q dream
Mid fancies sweeter than It I
knows or tells; !
That sees and hears with other I
eyes and ears, I
And walks with memory. beside :
a stream /.
That flows through fields Of !
fadeless. asphodels.
Madison Cawein in McClurehs .
for November. !
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
FLORENCE HUGHES DOES MAY e,
IRWIN STUNTS AT ARCADE.

The moving pictures, illustrated songs
and other diversions contained in this
weeks program at the Arcade Theatre
form an entertainment that fully main
tains the standard at this, resort,
Among the added attractions is MISS
Florence Hughes, whose manner, of en-
PERTAINING and songs rendered are upon
the lines made popular by May Irwin.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 8, 1908.
THE BATTLE OF THE BALLOTS.

great political bMle OF 19Os is in progress asT THE STAR goes to PRESS
Fourteen millions of American feemen, armed with ballots. are In the opposing
forces and the battle-ground extends from h Atlantic to the Pacific, INT from
he Great Lakes to the Gulf After the most strenuous national campaign ever
waged by presidential candidates. the two men whose names head their party
.,,ha.s az taLt,oa we,one reta at their homes both confident of victory nc
ready for CONGRATULATIONS. There's are minor battles going or in most of the
States. In New York. New Jersey. Ohio, Indiana, Illinois, Iowa Minnesota
he intensity Of the State struggle will affect e general result h nde-
pendent voter is strongly in evidence. this year everywhere, n it is probable
hat h votes Of some States will be divided between the eectors of one party
and tn State ticket of hi oher party Municipalities winv vote independently
of nov their States may vote Seventeen sherifs, with other county officers
+oeetber with ayor boards of feehodns an boards of aldermen, are beng
voted on in this State, and tn vote cast Tor local candidates will in most cases
widely depart from the vote for presidential electors. In Newark, n matter
low III other elections may result, Mayor Haussing winb De reeected by a sub
stantiaI nIuraIty In there will be a difference of thousands of votes as between
the county candidates an thu presidential ELECTORS.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
The BEST BALLOT IN USE.

1t is we'll observed by he Observer of Hoboken that, 'f it takes a long time
to count h III hrpastedb ballots it must also be remembered that 1T took a long
time to prepare them. They were not hastily made up in nl-ighted booths or
I'm voting machines but deliberately and thoughtuIy at home" The New Je-
sy paper ballot and the system of voting 1t have n superior in the United
States. The big complicated blanket ballots of Massachusetts and Pennsyl-
yania are al abomination.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
Two for the Doctors.

physicians in the old country
/ sometimes administered fearful
doses of medicines. Witness the effect
on the Irishman that said he took so
many drugs that he was sick a long
time after he got well.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
U~NNEcESSARY WALK.

Miss Wizen-I always walk a mile
every morning to improve my COM
plexion.
Miss Spite-Doesn't the drug store on
the next block keep the stun.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
HE WAS WISE.

do YOU promise tot cherish her until
death parts you?" asked the minister
OF the fool who was wedding the
heiress. teSE
That evening the minister pre-
pairing al funeral SERMON
For he knew that a. fool and his
money are soon parted.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
THE HUNTING SEASON.

Fred is a dear" the young wife said.
Very few believed her.
A hunter up In the Maine woods
thought he was, however,
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
A TRUE FRIEND.
He was true to himself.

he was Tue 10 HIH1SeIl.
All, tell If you can
Praise greater than this
To be said of a a
Detroit Free Press.
He was true to his friends.
To him is the need.
He starved on crusts
And helped them in need.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
MINERS EMPIRE HAS BILL
THAT'S GOOD FOR THE BLUES.

The Star Show Girls at Miners EN-
pire in "a Mile a Minute" n Tn
Lovely Panama kept a large before
election night crowd In a roar of laugh
ter last night from S:15 to 10;45 O'clock
The olio that interviewed between the
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
In Ripping Good Hunor-By S. II.
COMFORT.

Tom Reed used to. say that a states
mar was a. dead politician.
The general view is that a politician
who succeeds Is a statesman.
So, in any event, every candidate Will
become a statesman today.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
EVEN So.

Everybody loves a lover except the
lover when. other lovers come hanging
around.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
A MARGIN.

Mrs Brown is looking younger than
she did five years ago.
"Well. she had plenty of room Tor
improvement in that direction
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
TODAY.

! want to be a voter
And with the voters stand,
With the money in my pocket
Before / show my hand.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
THE SPRUCE YOUNG MAN.

He was rooted TO the spot naturally.
The landlord had his trunk and he
leave.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
WHAT BRYAN is DOING TODAY

Bryan is at his home today taking
I Fairview of the situation.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
CORRECT.

Freshie-What happened to Fred
when Prexie pulled him up on the
carpet?
Sophie was told to beat it.
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
A HINT TO GO.

Ethel can think when I am walk
ing.
Elsie-You ought to do more walk
ing. s
The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-11-03
Sense and Nonsense from the Mouths
of Men of Prominence and Ho PoAof

gentleman" At this the other rose,
screaming. mo, sir, never! I defy
you, l defy you! You could not do it!'
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1908-08-28
Cell for Bryan Club.

Pursuant to the order of the Presi.
dent K {. Linclair, d call is hereby
issued to the members OF the Bryan
club OF Kendllck to meet in the city
hall Monday evening. Angus, 3lst tn
discuss matters of interest to tL,
Club. All members are urged to b,
Itstits aud Lave a ronsiLg old time
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1908-08-28
Big Bear Items.

A stranger driving over Bear ridge
few days ago remarked "What
beautiful country, how rich the land
must be to produce such a wonderful
harvest and SO many nice homes"
Little did Jacob l.. Harrison, David
Ingl- aud few others Of the first
pioneers. who settled on this ridge
some S5 years ago think that -thev
were starting the development that
labor and time would produce such a
magnificent country, the land is in a
high state Of cultivation and failure
OF crops has never been known. Que
has but to see the many beautiful
homes aud improvements of the
Emmett's, Rogustad. Nelson, Forest,
Harrison, Carlson, Moore, Ingle,
Hooker. Galloway. Aibers, Morey.
Huffman, Drury and othe,s to bear
evidence OF the rapid success OF these
farmers. A large portion OF the ridg-
is owned by thrifty Scandinavian.
who by their Industry and economy
have done much to make the presenl
prosperous condition. Two fine chur
ches aud several substantial school
houses have been built and two tele
phoue lines connecting almost every
nome on the ridge with the centrals
at Kencrick,
The Kendrick gazette. [volume] (Kendrick, Idaho) 1892-1968, 1908-08-28
Get Ready for School.

The vacation time is about over
aud the teachers, the school board
and the janltor are preparing for tn:
resumstion of school life. In a talk
with Principal Barackmau we learn
that the school house has BEEN kalso
mined and painted both in the inter.
Tor and exterior and is sweet aud
healthy for the pulls to enter this
fall.
School will open September 9Th.
Tuesday, the seventh being labor day.
aud the teachers are anxious for as
large an enrolment on that dav a.
possible, that the scholars may oe
settled into their work and grades
and get down to the witers study.
Hendricks public schools will begin
a nine months session on Tuesday
the eight day Of September. All the
teachers have been employed. Miss
Pearl DAVIS, Primary; Miss Browning
of California, Intermediates; Miss
Smith OF Moscow, Grammar; |. p.
Barackman, Principal.
This gives US as strong corps Of
teachers as we have ever had and be.
speaks most successful term.
Every pupil should arrange to start
the first day. Many outside students
are making arrangements to attend
but are experiencing much trouble iu
getting stopping places. Residents
OF town where possible should open
their homes to these young people as
they are generally the choice students
of the surrounding country.
Let US all. teachers patrons, and
pupils work for the best school Kend.
rick ever had.
]. P. BARAcKMAN,
Principal