davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

of the man he went back on last week.
McCarren. I mean. McCarren, all In all.
might be called absolutely the most SIMS
ter personality in public life in the whole
United States today. Ever since the be-
ginning OF his political career he has
taken, seemingly with the greatest DELHI
Grafton. the most fiagrantly defenseless
course in literally everything appertain-
ing to the public interest. and years ago
ne arrived at a stage of callOusness where
he all but acknowledged the truthfulness
Of every accusation made against him
But always he has maintained his pres
tige with his own gang by sticking to his
friends" The crowd that he trains with
doesn't much care what its leaders do. Sc
long as they cling to that main tenet OF
theirs that "A Teller has got t stick t
his friends. t see?
In intellect McCarren always has been
far and away above the motley gang with
whom he has been thrown. HIS sheer
ability always has been such as to induce
a certain mournfulness among those who
know him-mournfulness. because 80 con-
spicuous a combination OF brains. without
character. as McCarren reveals. could
scarcely fail to have any other effect upon
this politicians thoughtful friends and
acquaintances.
Let it not he supposed too soon. how
ever. that there is going to be any
awhile. This crafty. sinister political in
dividuaI has withstood many q Tammany
typhoon. and there Is no reason to sup
pose that he is going to be completely
d.smasted and dismantled this time. Time
and again the Tammany tiger has planted
one experimental. II predatory. paw on
the far side of the Brooklyn bridge. where
McCarren is supreme, only to be COMPEL
ed to yank the paw back, with the pads
thereof somewhat burnt and the claws
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

mounted in fact. like my grandmother s
cameo earrings used to look; and that's
all. The papers said that her emerald and
diamond brooch that was stolen was
worth a thousand dollars-la, la, la!
IF she was robbed at all. I'll bet the
rObber felt cheap when he looked the stun
over. But I don't believe she was robbed
at all. Sh-sh! Now. you needn't men
ton this but she's always playing poker
and bridge with the money her husband
gives her to pay the bills, and I'd be
willing to bet anything that she got into
tight fix that way and couldn't get out
any other way, and that she pawned or
sold the few real things she had. and
then fixed up that fairy tale about having
her things stolen from beneath her pill
low in sleeping car on her way west
to see her people.
when I read about 1t l told my hus-
band what I thought and hOity-toity.
you should have heard the man! My
dear. you don't know what I suffer at my
husbands hands lately. He is becoming
perfectly intolerable. for he ups and de-
tends every living. breathing creature
that I so much as open my mouth about.
until l am all but distracted. 1 wouldn't
mind 1t so much II he wasn't so stingy
in defending me when he
THAT reminds me-talking about stingy
folks-I knew I had something to tell
you! 1 always knew those Gitbye folks
who have the fiat below ours were almost
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

mean enough to take in their own wash
ing. but, lawsy me! l never expected to
hear what the janitor's wife told me this
very morning-the janitor's wife does our
washing you know. Well. she told me
that she caught Mrs. Gitbye Yesterday
evening IN the very act of cutting Mr..
Gitbye's hair! Did you ever hear Of any
thing more deliciously ridiculous in all
your born days? The janitor's wife walk
ed into the Gitbyes' fiat without ringing
the Gitbyes are too measly to keep
maid for any length of time. YOU know.
and 90 the ianitors wife washes the din
ner dishes for them most Of the time-and
as she passed the bedroom there was Git
bye. sitting in a chair near the window
with a towel around his neck and Mrs
Gitbye lowering around him with the
shears! / was telling my husband about
it before he went to the Office this morn
ing, but. of course. he had some kind OF
q pat defense all ready. as he always has
lately. My dear, you will never know In
this wide world what / suffer. Actually
there are times when my husband seems
to take positive delight In treating me
like an old shoe
Gracious sakes alive. talking about
shoes. l knew there was something else
had to tell you! You remember how
that Eighty, giggly Mrs. Wahmbabe. that
you met at our fiat few times always
brags about what a small foot she has.
and how she Is sticking her feet out
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

Called me names. Then he got eloquent
about it. and chOked, and all that. Told
me / had no conception of the meaning
Of friendship and SO on. I've never dared
to offer to pay since. I don't want to get
knocked down. He's a powerful strong
ruffian yet this old friend of mine
After ] take that first after office nip
l often drop in at one or two places where
l know I'm liable to meet up with parcels
Of old crOnies. and it is upon occasions
of this sort that l come upon so many
manifestations of the treating nuisance
that / can't advert to such experiences
in a calm or patient tone. In the parties
that run into, consisting mostly Of men
I've knowp for ages. there's nearly al
other of my cronies. but unknown to all
the rest of US. who has the check-grab-
bling habit, He's the buyer. He wrote
the word buy In reaching out for and
grabbing the checks he seems to have
as many hands as a centipede has legs
Nobody in the alcOve or at the table
likes that. The man he is with and who
introduces him particularly doesn't want
1t and doesn't like 1t. But this check
grabbing buyer can't be squelched. He's
impervious to hints. You can't come right
out and tell a fellow like that that he's
a nuisance and that you don't feel like
contracting an obligation of that sort
with q man virtually unknown to you.
and that you prefer to have the buying
thing even up all around. But, when
such thing happens, you can and do
wish that the fellow who invented the
American treating system had died Of
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

<IY INSTEAD of trying to find out who
originated the game of poker. I
should think these side-line socio-
logical investigators would try TO ascer-
tain who started this treating business in
the United States" observed the rOtund
man of the group. I'VE don't need to
know who invented poker. unless it Is to
build a monument to the fellows memory.
whoever he was. But we do need to know
who founded this miserable treating sys-
TEN, II only that We may hold him up to
infamy through the ages. He must have
been an American. Foreign folks rarely.
or never pay for each others booze. They
only do 1t on occasions of festival or cere-
mony. They'll sit at a table for an entire
evening. putting away wet goods, and
never think of such a thing as settling
each others score. That's the way 1t
ought to be. We ought to adopt their
system.
Get me right as to this. I'm not a
tightwad. Sometimes. in fact. / reflect
that had / been born with the mucilagi-
nous mitt I'd have a heap more today
than I've got. l attack the treating bust
ness on the ground of its imbecility.
What call have I upon any man TO buy
liquor for me? What moral, ethical. So
cial or natural right has any man to ex-
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

proceedings wasn't anywhere around The
Big Teller he laid down. He blowed his
pal. He tagged his matey. He turned
tail and beat 1t. He did complete and
Murphy was on top. He knew that Muir
ply had finally got him. the Big Feller,
where he wanted him.
big Tim"-Scratched.
He knew that IL he made any pretense
to stand by McCarren. Murphy would
hand it to him. too. for. in spite Of all
denials. Murphy has had the Big Feller In
the hollow of his glove for more than
year. Murphy has made the Big Feller
Jump through this roll over. play dead.
on his head and go through all the rest
OF the canine repertoire. And 30. whipped.
thu Big Teller. the saffron streak show
ing as big as the outcropping OF sui
phur mine. stayed away from the dOings
the other day when McCarren was messed
uD and tossed onto the dump.
Now the Big Fellers Immense follow
ing would have stood Tor anything else.
They say SO. frankly. They wouldn' I
have particularly minded II II the Big
Teller had been pinched for arson. or
mayhem. or secOnd-story work. or biga-
my. or something of that sort. In such a
contingency they'd have stuck by him to
the ground with their naked hands. had
such a thing been necessary.
But to have their idol their cherished
plug ugly. show the ochre signal! That
they could not and would not, cannot and
will not. tolerate. They have said so.
are dropping away from him by brige des.
The Sullivanites are a tribe who like last
ditch fighters. and they always supposed
that their chief Big Tim, belonged to the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

cholera infantum at tender age.
Just as Objectionable. viewed from the
other side. is the chap who sits in at
these foregatherings and makes pre-
tense that he wants to get hold of one
or two of the checks that f1utter to the
table He has an uncommonly poor reach.
that fellow. He can get his hand just 30
far and no farther. His digits infallibly
halt about three inches this side of the
check and he just naturally can't get
any closer to the pasteboard slip. AS a
matter of fact. he rarely or never reaches
for the check until he perceives. with
his eagle eye that some other fellow
in the group is reaching for IT at the
same instant. No matter how slow and
deliberate the other reacher may be. this
man with the hesitating hand always
permits the other to beat HIM to 1t In
hauling down the check. Then he mutters
something of an unintelligible character.
which is supposed to impress the rest of
the party with the belief that he is
grievously annoyed that he isn't allowed
to pay for anything.
But, even suppOsing no outsider Is
lugged in. the treating stunts OF those Of
ls who know each other are foolish and
based upon a completely false conception
of what we owe unto each other as
friends. Say, for instance. there are six
of us-that's the usual strength OF one
of our around-the-table parties. Now.
none of us wants six drinks of redeye at
such a session. We all know that that
much liquor ism good for US; that II We
take that much It'll knock US out Of killer,
and that our wives will be regarding US
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

from beneath her skirt all the time when
the men folks are around, SO that they'll
remark about her feet. and how she is
always claiming that she has to get her
shoes made to order because they don't
make ready-made shoes small enough to
fit her feet?
"Well. / dropped into Fittem's shoe
store on eth street yesterday afternoon
to price some russets l saw in the win
dow. and who should l see there. getting
a pair Of shoes fitted on, but that braggy
Mrs. Wahmbabe!
This pair is three and a half, I
heard the clerk say to her as he showed
her a pair Of shoes-and after all her
Dragging that she always had her shoes
made to order and that they always cost
her 50 a pair! She tried her best to keep
her face turned sort of sideways. but
wasn't going to let her get out OF it that
easy. deed 1 wasn't; and so 1 sat down
right beside her. and you ought to've
seen the different colors Of red she took
on under her enamel! She tried to tell
me that she was only trying to find a pair
of rough walking boots for long rambles
out in the country. and all that; but I
saw the clerk looking queerly at her
when she said that. think II she could
have murdered me then without any,
body finding it out she'd have done it
without a minutes hesitation; and me
oh my. how did enjoy it. la. la!
This is a 3D. the clerk went on.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

a GAIN at the theater one evening
~ last week. we sat in the near Wei
4 = mage of the woman with the carrotS
hair and the wedge countenance and the
sanguinary vart on the left cheekoone
and the sibilantly raucous voice she was
saving things. before curtain raise. ana
between curtains to her ladlfren, VINO
appeared to enjoy 1t.
well. WE'LL" she said. did you read
in the papers that Mrs. FOarfoosh-you
know the giddy. namby-pamby, moody
naddy creature-she lives near me up In
Mount Pleasant-that she was robbed OF
two thousand dollars worth of diamonds
while travelling in sleeping car on her
way to Ohio to see her folks? Wouldn't
that make plaster of paris image die
a-laughing? l certainly thought should
expire when 1 read that. 1 thought die
I would. Because. my dear. You know
that IL Mrs. Foardoosh ever had two
thousand dollars worth of diamonds. all
at one time. she'd get water on the knee,
shed be SO excited. Deed she would.
You know, she had few ordinary dia-
mond rings. just like anybody eise's. and
a pair Of old-fashioned diamond earrings.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

with a reprovng and an accusing eye
when we get home and start in to be too
garrulous and chatty and enthusiastic.
But under the rules of our treating sys-
tenn there seems to be no way around
this situation. One OF US asks what the
others are going to have. We strive to
beat each other to it in putting that
question first We've been brought up to
believe that that is required of us In or
der to show our hospitality. Often there 9
wrangle right there. couple of us
make a dead heat of 1t in putting the
question: and then epsues a chaw.
I'VE gargle the first drink. and the one
of the others Of us. feeling that It's
quickly up to him. tells the waiter to re-
peat that dose. and. while we're gossiping
things over the No. drink appears on
the table. and we can't turn down the
drink Of the man who's ordered 1t for us.
and we have to swallow 1t. BY this time
we're glowy and loauacious and not no.
ticing little details. and presently one Of
the others of us has nodded to the
waiter, and drink No. 3 shows UP. often
before everybody has disposed Of No. 2.
That's the way it moves around the table
The result is that all of us quite need
lessly drink a whole lot more than we
wanted to drink or than we meant to
drink; and when we push our chairs
back and make for our cars we're feeling
rather WOODY and slommicky and DON'T
care-a-durn.ish: and our wives spot US
and view US with distinct disfavor the
instant we nudge through the door: and
we eat with unnatural heartiness on top
OF all those drinks: and then we promptly
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

on. II isn't such q foolish question,
either. when you begin to scan 1t over.
Several quite notable instances recently
have been afforded OF the almost pifiing
simplicity with which exceedingly wealthy
persons have glided through the New
York divorce courts. The evidence in
these cases has all been taken in camera.
which Is dog Latin for star chamber.
before discreetly chosen referees. Nary Q
line Of the evidence on one side or the
other has popped in the newspapers. The
whole business has been beautifully fur
tive and circumspect. and the rich al.
vorced ones have gone their ways with
their DEGREES in their pockets. every
thing just as pleasant and thorough and
quiet as could be.
Now. this In itself il all right. In IT.
self. SO far as II goes. II unQuestionably
is just as 1t ought to be. Divorce cases
do not make reading OF an educational
or uplifting character. It's a fine thing
that there Ii a method whereby such
stuff can be and is kept out OF the news
But-but-why isn't this method avaTa-
BILE to all hands? Why can't everybody
needing or desiring or requiring a divorce
get hold of one with the same immunity?
Why. in short. don't they make IL unani-
NOUS? why does wealth serve to slaugh-
ter the publicity which hitherto has at.
tended divorce proceedings, and. IL it's
matter Of wealth. Just how il the money
used in effecting this desirable purpose.
That's what q whole lot OF folks over
this way are inQuiring. The common or
town who wants a divorce has Tot 10 50
through the publicity mill.
They are hard to ignore and harder to
e Explain, these little inequalities. But II
doesn't cost anything TO ASH questions.
CLARENCE L: CULLEN.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

begin to feel dopey and all done up i'm
mediately after the too-hearty gorge din
ner: and we want to doze OF over the
evening paper and then go to bed. but we
can't because we've got to take the wife
to the theater: and We 60 to the theater
with her feeling like galley slaves
scourged to their dungeons-and, there
you are. All Of this trouble and orneri-
ness piled up because of our bedinged
trea ting system.
Another thing. Right often I pass up
the toddy altogether for varying spells.
Some mornings I wake up with coppers
hotter than they ought to be. after an I'M
comfortable night in bed and as l sit on
the edge of the bed. staring disa approving
ly at my image in the glass, I say to my
self. Look a-here. you old pirate: YOU re
drinking too much rum. dye know that
You cut that stuff out. dye hear what I'm
you'll have a liver inside Of you the size
of a rubber plant jardiniere. Now. you
behave. you old reprobate. or you'll be
hearing from me- and then I say to my
self that I'll be doggoned IL I'll take an
other drink for a fortnight or q month,
and I always stick with such a determi-
nation-even II my old friend who buys
me some kind of a drink every afternoon
at o'clock does look upon me with pro-
found vituperation and scorn when I order
mineral water for mine instead OF the
same
We'll. our fool treating system makes
1t pretty hard for the fellow who Is on
the water wagon. Not hard because OF
the temptations end Of h-you've got to
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25
a,
a

clipped. No man. of whatever party, who
believes in decent government and poll
tics. can have the slightest wish that Nc
Carren will win out in this most recent
lose out. neither good government nor
decent politics will be in any respect the
gamer. But. considered purely as a sport
Ing proposition. the kind Of a fight that
McCarren invariably puts up Is always
worth watching, and consideration OF his
tain sneaking sympathy which all hands
inevitably have for the underdOg in the
scrap
An Embarrassing Question.
Gov Hughes is another man who never
knows when he is whipped. And this.
after ALL isn't such q bad trait in politics.
For example. Gov. Hughes doesn't by any
means acknowledge that he has irrevOca-
bly, lost his anti-gambling fight. The tie
vote on that proposition didn't feaze him.
He's going right on with the battle. and
men who are close to him inform me that
he considers that he has better than a
fair chance to win. even with the present
legislature. He Is. you'll have observed
building a mighty smudgy fire under the
quantity diaphanous state senators who
anti-ga milling fight. He Is dropping into
their districts and telling their folks
things He il being enthusiastically re-
ceived in these senatorial districts. too,
and the folks are asking questions of the
deserving senator's which these toga
wearers probably never will be able to
answer satisfactorily. Already there are
state senator's are weakening in the neigh
borhood of the knees. The drift is becom-
ing too strong for them. The questions
are too direct and personal. How much
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

that, like Buddhism. numbered three or
four hundreds of millions Of human beings
as its believers and adherents could be
so very bad. But my husband doesn I
stop at anything nowadays. even at de-
tending heathens and pagans! And then
he had the nerve to ask me IL Mrs.
Gottaconk had made any criticisms about
1t when had taken SO enthusiastically to
the study Of palmistry and astrology and
globe-readings last year-when some of
the very incest women were taking the
self-same course that 1 took, The idea.
anyhow. of comparing astrOlogy with such
a hideous. nasty thing as Buddhism! 1
declare. It's enough to streak woman's
hair with white to
by the way. talking about hair. you
know that funny old Stickalong woman
that creaks as she walks. she's that dried
up-the one that thinks she knows how
to talk French and pencils her eyebrows
until they look like tunnel entrances.
and uses SO much enamel that she's
afraid to smile for fear that her face
will crack wide open. and that thinks
all the young men are wild in love with
her? Oh, you know who / mean-the
old dowdy that you thought was making
eyes at your husband one evening when
you visited US. Oh. I thought you'd re-
member her-not that I ever thought that
your husband ever did actually take any
stock in her. though he did tell my hus-
band that he thought her handsome
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

did you GET" is one OF the questions
tina. have been slammed outright at these
state senators time and again at the mass
meetings in support Of the governor that
have been held since that queer vote on
the anti-gambling bill. And that's ques-
ton that's always hard to answer. You
see, these senator's who quit in the stretch.
SO to speak, were on record as to that
race-track bill Of the governors q week
before the final vote, which resulted In q
tie and; therefore. the defeat Of the bill.
was taken. They voted with the gov
ernor on the test vote. Then. with the
racing interests working like pontoon
builders for a good. long. comfortable
week. they switched. Why did they
switch? Because they. republicans. liked
Mr. McCarren. the democratic boss of the
senate? That doesn't seem very plaus-
ible? Why, then?
That's what their constituents are ask
ing. with red fire burning in the upstate
town streets. and Gov. Hughes. who
never knows when he's licked. right on
the spot to tell them little things. Why?
Central and western New York are in
q ferment over this question. and there
are sage prophets who predict that when
the bill comes up again-it still lies on the
table and may be taken up at any time
the renegades will come back to the
reservation. with the prodding sticks of
their home foik and neighbors to guide
them Alright.
Quite a number OF peevish inQuisitive
persons over this way are inquiring why
ii is that rich folk are able to get their
plain, ordinary folk, who don't own
much in the way of real or personal prop
erty. have to splash through open divorce
courts, with the soiled linen Tapping out
on the lines. and the papers full Of the
salacious drippings, and so on and 30
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-04-25

and l think it'll just fit you-it's the
same size as you've been wearing And
she'd been telling everybody. maybe you
remember about how her shoe size was
&c She was so venomous about it that
she demanded the clerk to put on her
old shoes for her. and she fiounced out.
trembling all over. she hated me so much.
without buying so much as a pair Of shoe
strings. 1 guess the next time Mrs.
Wahmbabe comes to our nat to play
euchre she won't be sticking her feet out
all over the place 50 that the men folks'n
be gazing at 'em. II she does. just as
sure as you live and breathe. I'm going
to say something about ready-made shoes.
and I guess that'n hold her for a spell.
the conceited. stuck-up thing! It's just
enough to make a stuffed image rear up
and laugh to hear
MY. I'm glad 1 mentioned images. for
1t reminds me that that pasty-faced Got
taconk woman. who lives in the fiat be-
low ours. is behaving In a perfectly
scandalous manner. and I. for one, think
she ought to be notified to move. What
do you suppose she is doing now?-and
her the mother Of children and the widow
of a Christian husband! Why. she is
studying Buddhism! Perfectly indecent.
I call 1t. And 1 told my husband so the
very minute l heard about 1t. and what
in the wide world do you suppose he had
the impudence to say to me? Why. he
said that. in his opinion. no doctrine