The French Broad hustler. [volume] (Hendersonville, N.C.) 1896-1912, 1908-06-10

Now the ella MOnSterzlS a half cat, half lizard
animal that is found only on the banks of the ella
River in Arizona, and for pure cussedness has no
equal on the face of the globe. We want to show
you that we can take the name of this aforesaid
half eat. half lizard animal for the title of this lit
tie publication and bring to your attention the fact
that the quality of our goods and the prices that
we are able to make have no equal on the face of
the earth.
The Editor, saltwater Bill, has long been out
of his proper calling, and thinking that the quick
est way to get Called is to burst into print
takes this opportunity to again become literary.
He assures you that the common topics of pol
itics and the best methods of raising money for
building retreats for Homeless Hoot Owls will not
be discussed in this number.
Neither will we talk about our friends, and as
for our enemies, we are afraid to say much about
them, as the editor has very vivid memories of
several occasions when he beat all existing records
of cinder path s%printing.
The writer of this has in the past found fault
with editors for the way that they handled Great
Public Questions but now that he has plenty of
space fully paid for his heart fails him and he has
tens to say that should he tread ever so lightly on
the feelings of any one they can consider that they
have his most humble apology in advance.
*
This town had a bouquet thrown it's way when
the North Carolina Grand Lodge of Odd Fellows
met mere a SlOrC LLHHO Slice, anu 10 you KNOW LIldI
this session here at home was the best attended
that has ever been held in the state? Don't you
think that the attractions of this little burg had a
wee bit to do with it? Here, you Hill Billies,"
get up and boost the best town and county that is
on any old body's map.
Your humble editor, saltwater Bill, has
travelled some; has been from the Haw River on the
east to the city limits of Ellenburg, Kansas, on the
west, and when it's talking about this good town he
gets as enthusiastic as a Sand Duck hunting the
north pole.
Why do so many people come here and build
homes? It's because they like it. Why do they
stay? It's because they still like it and its people.
Why don't more come? It's because they don't
know any thing about the town with the best wa
ter, best climate and best surroundings of any
town in this big country of your Uncle %Sammy's.
We plead guilty to taking in a great deal of
territory in the last statement, but as the posi-
bilities of this country are so enormous we still
stick to it, and, reader, if your contentious spirit is
aroused, it's Rouse Nit You, we are too busy to
figure out facts for those we could not convince.
*
DR.. Rutledgein a very able lecture a short time
since told of the troubles of q small boy who grab
bed the arm of his hearts desire at the singing
school and took her home. The way seemed end
less and not a word was spoken until the fair dam
sells gate was reached, when the boy blurted out,
Don't say anything about this, " and the girl re-
piled, No, I am as ashamed of it as you are"
So it's that way about boosting for our good
town., IF you don't think that it's the best one on
earth don't say anything about it. The moral. is
not patented.
s'Prosper;tyis common nse"--therefore we
are prosperous.
AS this nation has more commons sense than any
nation we are the most prosperous nation in the
world; It's true that we have our giddy spells, but
the majority do not have it for any great length of
time.