The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-10-14
MAGAZINE SECTIONS STRIKE.

back stairs. nevertheless he was TAX
en- by surprise when the sanctum
sanctorum was invaded by hundreds
upon hundreds of angry Magazine
Sections. They made pretty sight
with their cover pages iuttering
and cracking as they marched.
One seemed to have been chosen
spokesman of the throng and he adj
vanced upon the editor defantly. wav-
ing what appeared to be badly
smudged piece Of paper.
Are you the editor9' he demand
ed in loud voice, and there was a
rustic through the serried ranks as of
satisfaction that at last the editor
had been brought to bay.
'We are it, was the mechanical
reply AS we moved away from the
typewriter and got the deadly waste
basket between US and the invaders.
Of there is anything a Magazine Sec
ton hates it is a waste paper basket
What we want to KNOW shout
ed the spokesman. "'What we want
to know, is this. Are we, as self
respecting, we'll printed, highly
artistic. neatly stapled, brightly
colored Magazine Sections expected
to circulate side by side with THIS?
Whereupon the leader waved the dirty
looking sheet above his head and an
indignant cheer burst from seventeen
hundred throats.
The editor took up the offending
paper gingeriy and saw that it was
what purported to be Woman's
Magazine issued by hated rival.
Nevertheless it was time to be
conciliatory.
Why, what is the matter with
this?" he said.
Matter with it?' cried the chief
of the Magazines, Matter with ito
"What isn't the matter with it? 1t
is the poorest lot of stuff that ever
spoiled cheap paper. 1t isn't fit to
read. and its too small for pantry
shelves. and the paper is too poor to
use for anything but kindling. That's
what's the matter with it. -
Bravo cried shrill voice from
the rear | should say there was
something the matter with it.
. Where's its styleo Where's it's
make up? The shameless hussy going
about this kind of weather without
a single cover to its back
"Show me the pictures in it. 'roared
an Illustrated Article. its voice husky
with rage. Show me the pictures
in it, if you think there is nothing
the matter with it.
Hasty examination revealed that
there were no pictures except some
advertising cuts. The editor pointed
these out.
Bah. said the Illustrated Article.
There are stories in it, - said the
editor rather fustered, land House.
hold Hints.
Household Hints indeed said the
first spokesman taking up the lead
again. ''Do you call this household
hint Listen to this. -
A simple way to keep the hands
clean when backing stove, is to
slip it in paper sack. -
Slip what in a sack? The Stove?
The Backing? or the Brush?
You will find that you can grasp
it with the hand in the sack. .
"Oh. the hand is it?''
bare hand. /"
There. that's literature for you.
that pabulum. that is.
1t sounds good deal like sack
cloth and ashes to me- laughed the
Funny Page and well-bred litter
| peryaded the ranks.
Huh. said the leader somewhat
miifed at this levity. Circulates
free does it, should think it would.
| should think taey would have to pay
folks TO read it. It's a poor cross be-
tween Royce's Weakly and the New
York Hadger. Its one of those
magazines you see offered as a prize
to the genius who sends ten cents in
stamps and the correct answer to the
famous who is IL puzzle, Cog w
s-i-g-on. The father Of his country -
1T is one of the journals of educa-
! ton that yol get when you send
dime in silver and est six hidden
name cards q powerful love potion,
a near gold swastika PIN and five
l. i.