The Intermountain Catholic. (Salt Lake City [Utah] ;) 1899-1920, 1908-02-15
Teaching a Child to Obey.

Teaching d Child to Obey.
Isn't it necessary to break child's
will in order to make him obedient?''
writes one of my correspondents.
That is hard question for me to an
swer because 1 am not sure just what
my querist means by breaking a
child's will" 1 have heard the phrase
used more or less all my life and l have
seen men and women who would tell
me of the struggles to which they were
subjected by their parents in the course
of breaking their Wills"
| These same persons usually seemed
to me in possession of wills in an admi-
able state of preservation-seldom i'm
| paired by even crack. If the will has
ever been broken the repairing process
| had been we'll done.
For my own part-and as 1 have said
before, personal experience is generally
more or less illuminating have had
obedient children and 1 have never done
+ any will breaking that 1 am aware Of.
1 have, however, had an occasional
contest of wills in which, am happy to
state, mine came out ahead, although,
judging by manifestations, I do not
think the will was fractured in the con-
f1ict.
DCIlOuSlSs WIilC L uO llOl lIOIti " liiy
thing like breaking the will of a child
since it is one of his most valuable as
sets in practicing self-control, 1 do be-
lieve that he should know very we'll who
is the ruling power when it comes to a
difference of opinion between his moth
er and himself.
If that is what my correspondent
means by breaking a childs will"
then l am in favor of it. But 1 would
not use the word breaking" 1 would
call it directing the child's will, or
teaching him to direct it for himself.
/ know very we'll that in some minds
am sowing the seeds of disapproval
of myself and my methods by this
statement. Many and vigorous have
been the arguments which 1 have
waged on this subject, and in some
cases without winning a victory for my
views, i am sorry to say.
l wonder if l shall succeed in bring
ing any of my readers today around to
my way of thinking. Let me state very
briefly my views on compelling Obedi-
ence from a child.
In the first place, obedience is best
for the child. He does not know what
is good for him. He cannot judge for
himself. 1t is far better that he should
be told what to do and should do as he
is told without question until he is old
enough for his judgment to confirm
that of his parents.
In the second place, obedience is to
be the habit of his whole life Always
he will have to obey something not him
self. At first it is the parental will,
later it is the law of life the law of
nature, the law of God. Call it what
you will. he must obey it or take the
consequences.
When he goes to school he is under
a master. When he goes into business
he is under an employer. When he at
tains manhood he must comply with the
laws of health, the laws of society, or
suffer.
Is it kind, is it fair, to leave him un-
trained in obedience until life teaches
it to him by hard knocks? Can any
gift do more for him than the gift of
This is something which does not
seem to be held in mind by those par
ents who believe that child should de-
velop as nature leads. Let me tell an
experience I may have told before: it
is worth repeating. Once upon a time
L had a friend who was deeply imbued
with the then novel idea of letting a
child develop as it would. with no pro-
hibition or dictation to impair the SYM
metry of it's character. A lovely time
she had of it, too!
Never put into your child's mind a |
negative picture of any action was |
one of her maxms. Translated into |
plain English this might be summar-
zed as never say don't!"
And she didn't! The result may have /
been gratifying to her; it certainly |
made life one giddy round of gayety |
and pleasure to her children for the
- -,
vous prostration on the part of her
friends.
Not only were the children allowed to
'fde rampant over the house and all
hat therein was, but they were not
checked in any piece of play or mis-
thief, except in the most round about
manner For instance. Jacky. aged 4,
lad his high chair at the table. His
manners beggared description. All
children naturally are pigs, 1 fancy.
md Jacky's natural impulses had not
,een repressed except with milk and
water mildness which meant nothing.
One of his favorite amusements was
o pound hard on the edge of his por-
idge bowl with his spoon. When the
loise disturbed his mother beyond even
Ter endurance. she would lay her hand
-ently on Jacky's shoulder and say. II
zee a lovely picture. 1t is of dear lit
lie Jacky boy eating his porridge nicely
nd quietly without making a noise to
isturb other peole."
Apparently Jacky's artistic percep-
ions We less robust than his mothers,
or he eS lently neither saw the pic
ure himself nor cared to provide it for
theirs. The pounding continued or the
he singing, or the shouting, or what
YER his love of noise might take.
Another pleasing habit of his was TO