Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-06-03
Esslg g.,

II am going to have my photos taken.
I hope they will do me justice" II
hope 80. too-justice tempered with
mercy"
Mrs. Justwed-why are these eggs
70 small2 Grocer Dickelwurst-I fink
dey were took from der nest too soon
alretty.-P Philadelphia Ledger.
Teacher-Johnny, what do you I'M
derstand BY that word "defclta" "1t's
what you've got, when you haven't az
much as II you just hadn't nothin'."
Hook-I understand he married a
cool million. Cook--Yes; but he's COM
planning now because he hasn't been
able to thaw out any Of illustrated
BitA
lis your husband having any luck
ut the race trackY "Some luck" an
swered young Mrs. Torkins. "He hasn't
ausht cold nor had his pockets picked"
Washington Star.
"Why ls it2" asked the dear girl,
that the bridegrooms attendant is
called the best manY" II suppose it's
because he is the best off," growled the
fussy old bachelor
Mother-You and Willie have been
at my cherries again. l found the
stones in the nursery. Johnny-It
wasn't me, mother, cause I swallowed
all the stones of mine.
Muriel = Would you marry for
money! Carsone-Not Il; want
brains Muriel-Yes. 1 should think
90, II you don't want to marry for
money .-Brooklyn Life.
"Your love- he cried, .would give
me the strength to lift mountains!"
Dearest" she murmured, at will only
be necessary for you to raise the
dust Flown Topics.
Tell me, brother, is 1t possible to
let Robert know that am an heiress?'''
"Has he proposed to your" .Yes."
well, you may be sure he knows it
already."-The Gossip.
ut costs more to live than 1t did
years ago" said the man who COM
plains "Yes," answered the man who
enjoys modern conveniences, but It's
worth more."-Washingto Star.
Professional Faster-I should like
to undertake fast Of four weeks in
this show Of yours. How much will
you pay me7 Showman-I can't give
you any salary. but will pay for your
keep.
what would you do" asked the ex-
cited politician, eff paper should call
you liar and thief?" "well," said
the lawyer, ''lf were you I'd toss up
a cent to see whether I'd reform or lick
the editor"
Miss Biondlock- dare you tell
people my hair is bleached7 You know
1t is false! Miss Ravenwlng Yes.
dear, know 1t is. told them 1t was
bleached before you got it.-Philadel-
phia Inquirer.
II noticed she bowed to you. Is she
an old acquaintancer "Y-yes; we're
slightly acquainted In fact, she's a
Sort of distant relation. She was the
first wife Of my second wife's husband"
Chicago Tribune
Officer Flynn-An' so yez amt fake,
hey. How did yez lose yer soight7 The
Blind Person-Oh, was once on the
police force with orders from my cap
tain not to see anythin'. 1t got to be a
habit with me.-Puck.
Lord Lewson- Why, Pat. there used
to be two windmills there. Pat-Thrue
for you, sir. Lord Lewson- Why 10
there but one now? Pat-Bedad, they
took one down to lave more wind for
t'other.-London Tit-Bits.
He-Do you remember the night I
proposed to you? she-Yes. dear.
He-We sat for one hour, and you
never opened your mouth. she-Yes, I
remember, dear. He-Ah. that was the
happiest hour Of my life.-The Catholic
Mirror
Kindly Old Gentleman Well, my
little man, and what's your namei
The Little Man-Please, sir, dunno.
Tho Kindly Old Gentleman Bless my
soul, you don't know The Little Man
No. sir, please, sir; mother got mar
ried again yesterday.
Farmer sacks-Here's letter askln'
about board for the summer, an want
In to know is thar bath in the house.
Whatll 1 tell 'em, Mlrandy? His Wife
Tell 'em the truth. Tell 'em IL they
need bath we'd advise 'em to take It
afore they come Harper's Bazaar.
.Every Dallot must be counted" the
first speaker had declared. II agree
with the gentleman you have just
heard" began the one who followed,
''but go as far as to say that In GER
tain emergencies some of them must be
counted twice" Philadelphia Ledger.
whats the matter with that old
hemp asked the guinea fowl. "She
looks worried" "Oh," replied the BAN
tam rooster, "she's temperance crank.
and she's worrying for fear some Of
her eggs will be used in the making of
eggn6gg."-Cath Standard and
Times.
Speaking Of bad falls" remarked
Jones, II fell out Of window once,
HIN1 LuS ccuSuliOA Wd5 lCALipiC.
Ing my transit through the air real
ly believe / thought of every mean
act had ever committed in my life"
"H'mw growled Thompson. "You
must have fallen an awful distance!"
~ was reading magazine article
the other day. said the landlady. "in
which the writer advanced the theory
that fully two-thirds of the diseases
that afflict humanity are due to over
eating" "Well, l guess that's about
right" rejoined the scanty haired
bachelor at the foot of the mahogany.
Anyway, 1t is months since anyone
was sick in this boarding house,
Chicago Daily News. =
Rightly Named.
"Say, paw" querled little Tommy