New-York tribune., 1908-02-23
Fright

sa9@s4 < faaBSa,rV
tressirg Ny fear IN - 5##B@>
creased as the time ad- &@S-#.% y
vanced I felt the utter 441at|~ 7
absurdity OF 1t all; but -
this N no wise helped tISC
me. l could scarcely ~
touch my breakfast and when I tried to partake OF
dinner the food collected II my mouth was unable
10 swallow Il. | was N very plrIable condition.
indeed Ny family begged me 10 send word that l
was ILL., that | was suddenly taken with hOarseness
but these proposals l positively refused 10 accept
It had been my Prlnclpie IN journalism, that
death was the cnlv excuse for not writing a prom
ised ar, cle and this principle, | added, still held
When one Is on the program he must go regardless
Bur how | PRAYED that the heavens would open and
LEI rall torrent or even such prppItlOus snow rs
had once before saved me from similar ordeal
But no. night came on serenely. | wanted tc
walk to the theater; the streets We're crowded. and
every passing carriage made ne tear that within
was one Of those before whom l would soon fall
'4-C Cesar v72rEuys t. SIthtE5t.
The evening was divided into Two sessions and
as I was second on the program had a good hour
10 l-rger n The waiting room 70 which Eugene Eurg
had brought me. was 50 pale. So dlsnayed that
he thought all ENCOURAGEMENT would be useless and
therefore left me to my thoughts after -ernarEIg
on the good disposition which the audience showed
Nv thoughts were very sad A condemned criminal
gong 70 the gulLloclne has l imagine. Just such
thoughts and feelings as agitated me. Every now
and then I experienced q peculiar heavIness, ike
one tumbling IN space. followed by a rush of blood
every minute orche love Of God let It end quickly
Nv suffering was unbearanle
Just as the curtain which separated me from the
audience was raised my mouth became dry. and
though kept swallowing | could not find a drop of
saliva Nvrongue became thick and heavy. requlr-
1g q painful effort to move II. nv voice mounted
into nv head. and I heard It loud and piercing as
II was the voice Of some one else. Its tlmbre which
was strange 10 me. Disconnected me. It seemed thar
The words artculated with difficulty divided them
selves without any viii effort my part. and
sought II vain catch The phrases which were es-
Gaping ME L was an extremely unhappy state.
I continued 70 speak TOR there was no means Of
Stopping but still the words divided themselves and
fell from my lips without my having any part n
The matter. Indeed they seemed 70 me TO have no
sense N them.
4 came home feeling desperate and furious l
retired. but could not fall asleep Ny blood went
yvh.rl.ng through my whole body with sort OF dull
-lnbng and beating lrnpetuously against the walls
OF NV arteries The fever kept me awake till late
IN The morning Before my mind which now worked
with wonderful uclditv. The whole scene unrolled
itself time and again Vivid and appropriate
phrases came TO me IN abundance,-that IS what
Should have SAID, Where was my head, What VIII
the distinguished men who were attracted by the
report Of my budding reputation think OF me, /
had the foolish desire TO cry out to them IhlS does
not count Come back next Thursday rose eX-
trer1eIv fatigued. my eyes heavy. and my whole
BODY bruised as Il | had been beaten with q Cudgel.