The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-12-13
DRfFT WOOD

A pretty little Montgomery blonde yesterday for two good rtasons.
 one time man is justiflabie in say ing things behind 8 wornan's back is up the back.
 Can you sit down and read an alma ! mac from cover to cover without imag- ming you have some Of the symptomsf You can't. if you are woman: Adam God" the man out in Kan sas who figured in a shooting scrapa jail, and, tn use his own words. says that he is sorry the whole thing hap pened, that he "had nice, rich farm out in Oklahoma and was doing well until God called him"
 Said the St. Bernard to the little spftz. Don't bark at my heels; 1t gives me ''You know do not care to bite. And if I'd growi you'd run in fright. Some day I'm going to fool you. though, Sc III warn you pow'. you'd best go Keep on--some day rIl whirl about I And chew you up and spitz you out" And thought to myself as heard that ~rhers are lots of folks in the world like that" Mebbe tt is some comfort to the anil nlais in the African jungles to know that when Teddy kills 'en they will get good write 'ap.
 A woman is never 50 Ht4le and weak that she can't strike a pose.
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 pr. steptworth says that people should crawl on their stomachs for the benefit of their health. This is noth- ing new-the small boy usually does that or attempts to when he has had enough green apples to render him miserable. The ladies all call him a cat.
 Oh he ts the prince of churls. The reason is this: He has promised To die for nine different girls.
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 Christmas slropptng is good thing says an exchange Yes. and the shop ping isn't the only good thing" There are Othera.
 Carnegie wants the prohibttive tariEf on steel removed. However, he has said nothing as yet in his simplifed spelling reform in regard to changing the spelling Of the word "stecl 9
 when 8 woman has been told that she is awfully young looking to have a grown, daughter: she invariably pipes when was barely ib."
 A certain Montgomery girl we know the funniest fellow alive. She laughs at everything you say. Tho reason however, Is perfectly obvious: sho has two cute dimpiss. A girl can take ten cents worth of material, embroidery it and make a Christmas present for a man that caIS for one in return that costs him sic.
 What's YoursS
 Alabama, here we rest, pumpkin pI0 beneath our vest.--Montgomery Adver- You're wrong. it's potato pie; pump Kin eOHin' bye and bye--Andaiusia Texas life Is smooth as silk. punkin pie and buttsrmiIk.--HoustOn Post.
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 The Montgomery Advertiser declares that when q man laya oorner-stone, he feels like caclxling. It is more ule- for recosnitton.--ssn fAntoHto Express Drift Armstrong declares that conf foS a T tS oSSS4y @ sGrsS eSsy r SS ss eept the fellow who unsuccessfully tried to borrow s6. One no longer won defs at the pessin1isfn which has char aoterized pgtft's comments of latc.--San Antonio Express. a5'
 4 a-
 New Missionary " what was the trouble with the other missionary, yous Cannibal chIef-1rhs greatest object. ion was his coGtraFfness--he never would agree with anyone. in fact, this stnbbornneas be nlafntained till the day of his death when (how well do re. member tt) he disagreed with me
 The NxannaE. The funniest race ever saw q laughed till l nearly broke my jaw) was one between some women. They Endeavored to out jump one day. one jumped at conclusion. and The Jump she made was simply grand. rrhe other when she saw a mouse, Jumped almost OCT q nelghboring
 house
 ysut ere the Judges chose between The two an old maid neaFed the scene She jumped at a proposal. 50 All said the prize to her should go
 -P. R. A.