The Washington herald., 1908-02-23
MARIA'S MIDNIGHT LECTURES
LECTURE NO. 28.

Vides for the protection OF womenfo!k
I know what I'm going to do-yop won't
do your duty as a citizen and so I'm 60
ing to join this woman suffrage move
ment and see II can't get chance to
vote I might just as well get 3 on
election as you. and ! know I'd make
better use or the money Besides thar
don't see that it matters who's elected.
Here's Jeff Davis scheduled 70 make
sixty-eight speeches. and all the good
i'm do him will be that people VIII laugh
and the wordsu slop all over the Con-
gressional Record, where nobody'u read
them Politics is a pretty queer busi-
ness I see that they're dragging poor
HOke Smith out OF his retirement-I
thought he was married and forgotten
and are, trying to make a candidate out
Of him. What party does he belong 10
ars'how-the Democratic. the RepubIi-
can, or just Mr. Bryan's party? ! can't
keep track OF EN- all =
Wasn't that a fine speech that oscar
Straus made the other day. Job2 1
wish you'd take part Of II 70 heart
that part where he said that "the hrst
requisite Of good. permanent business Is
good morals" I thought OF you when I
read that. Job. and wondered how Il
WAS you held your job at all with your
morals the way they are. I tell you it's
lucky I'm your wife. or ! don't know
what sort of morals little Haley would
have inherited. Poor child, If he doesn't
go through life a sIeepy-head. it'll be
because there's mighty little IN heridi-
tary, I see that its getting 20 be an
awful struggle between Mr.. Taft and
Mr. Foraker as TO who is the best
friend Of the colOred man. OF course.
Senator Foraker get big lead on ae-
count OF that Brownsville affair. but
Mr.. Taft's coming strong with the col
ored brother. IN a speech the other day
he called the negroes ~an unfortunate,
struggling. dOwntrOdden race" and he
seemed 10 be so sorry for them that
they're just simply bound to vote for
him-that IS. II they get a chance. All
Of the candidates seem 10 be trying 10
win over public opinion nowadays.
Here's Mr.. Cannon out with q declara-
ton that he doesn't swear, The first
thing you know the President wiz Be
calling him a nature fal1er. Wasn't II
nice OF the House OF Representatives 10
indorse him the way they did the other
day? II jOllied him up and didn't COM
Tlit anybody &c anything. did il?
DO you think that If Congress passes
bill 10 put the motto back on the coins
that President Roosevelt will be mad
II they DO put a motto on 1 don't see
why they don't get one better adapted
10 the uses Of the country-some5hing
ike Keep me and you'll never be
broke" or some sensible advice like Tllat.
People are 50 careless with their money
nowadays. see where lady in Hazel
ton, Pa. 1T a fire in the upstairs crate
IN her house and burned Up $500 that her
husband had planted there, For heav-
ems sake. Job. II you've got any money
hidden about the house please tell ne
where II is so that I won't go and de-
strOy H.
Taking about fires, did you ses
where there was a fire on the fortieth
fioor OF the Singer Building in New
York; III bet thereII be no smoking
signs stuck all over that building after
this II i had been eight or ten stories
higher up, III bet the firemen never
could have reached it-not with the rot
ten hose they've got in New York I'm
glad they don't have buildings as tall
as that in Washington BY the way.
speaking OF Washington. I see that the
Commissioners are going 10 call in
those awful herdies. I think its
shame. They're so characteristic OF the
Nations Capital. don't you think so.
Job? They're going 10 put in taxicabs
in their place. What, don't you know
what a taxicsb is? Il has a dial on
Il that tells you how far you 20 and
how much you owe the cabman. The
dial works automatically. when you re
looking az it, and when you turn your
head away for q minute the cabby gives
II jolt and IL registers two or three
dollars more They're an awful con-
venience. Job. and it's so nice to know
that if you are overcharged it's done
legally.
What's that, JOB? No. I won't be
quiet. You seem to think that a woman
can get along without any rational IN
formation about what's going on in the
world. You've Just got TO sit up and
talk 10 me some more: Just love to
hear YOU tell about .hings. on. ana I
want 20 tell you. JOB. wnen you DO go
10 sleep, do Try and keep your mouth
shut It's not only that you snore with
your mouth open. but the doctors say
that's the way germs get into your
system, and heaven knows. don't
want you all full Of germs And the
doctors say. too that when you wake
up in the morning you shouldn't jump
right out OF bed. but should lay there
and think II over for a while. Thst'u
just suit YOU, won't il. job? What's
that. snoring already-weu I bet you
don't lay in bed long tomorrow morn
ing"