Democratic messenger. [volume] (Snow Hill, Md.) 1869-1973, 1908-05-16
THE vERMIFUGE MAN.
How George @. Vest Won Case In
Court Through Ridieule.

he was fighting against heavy odds.
remarked J. G. Trlmble. II veteran
Kansas City lawyer. the other day
Il was young law student at Mex
leo when first had the good fortune
of observing him IN action. Judge
Sam Priest. one OF the finest lawyers
In the west; Mr.. Vest and my brother
were representing Miss Annie Wilson.
who was claiming q pretty fair slice OF
old Phil Williams Monroe county es-
tate. Phil was her cousin. and her bill
was for services rendered him In his
last years. 1t seems Williams was
bit cranky and he found 1t difficult TO
get anybody around home 10 take care
Of him. and he wrote to his cousin.
pay her we'll IL she would come over
aud attend to him. When she came. he
said:
Now. Annie. me and YOU will
agree about what each others to do
and put 1t down IN writing Verbal
contracts are no good in matters of
this kind.'
Which looked pretty sensible in the
light of the vast litigation over con
tracts FOR services made verbally. The
contract was signed. and the woman
faithfully cared for him the balance OF
his days After the funeral she show
ed her contract to the executor and de-
mandcd her wage. He thought the bill
too big or something and refused TO
pay IT, So she sued The executor de-
Tended on the ground that the old
mans signature was forgery
1T was pretty hot trial Among
other witnesses the executor put on an
expert to testify that the signature OF
old man Williams To the contract had
been forged and to explain how he
knew that was SO. This expert was
one Of the most capable men for such
task | have ever seen He not only
was thoroughly courteous and modest.
but he seemed to know exactly what
he was talking about. lie was well
educated and talked In the confident
way of man who Is sure of his foot
Ing. II was clearly evident that his
testimony was making an impression
against the claimant. lie told where
the signature to the contract differed
from the genuine signatures shown
him and made II SO clear that all
could understand. When he had I'm
lshed testifylng In chief. the claimants
ease was gone-I mean had the trial
ended there.
Judge Priest turned gloomily TO his
colleague.
"'You tackle him. Vest he said.
I'm not feeling we'll
Vest moved up his chair. elevated
his shoulders until his head seemed to
sink into them and squeaked:
Whats your business. you say
THE witness said he was an account.
ant.
Where are you from
THE witness enlightened him.
"'Where did you work before thatr
Again the witness answered.
"'Where before that
Some town was named
"'Where before THAR
philadelphia
Whereabouts In Philadelphia
"'Jaynes' Chemical works
"'Where did you say that wasf'
philadelphia
"'Jaynes' works. you say
eyes. sir. Jaynes' Chemical works.
~ see. said Vest. hitching his chair
up closer and elevating his shoulders
still more. That's where they make
vermifuge:'
They make a number OF proprle
tary medicines said the witness, with
qviet dignity, but don't
But they do make vermifugeT
cried Vest shrilly.
- didn't know the names Of ali
they make, but wasn't
That's all. Mr.. Vermifuge. said
Vest exultingly. Wen excuse you
Everybody in the courtroom roared
with laughter at the way Vest bleated
out the word, and the witness retired
with flushed face When the time came
TO argue Vest closed this way
81 ask YOU gentlemen to name one
solitary line OF evidence brought
against this honest woman's just claim
for money earned by the toll of her
hand and the sweat OF her brow. Not
thing on Gods green earth but the
vermlfuge man. Are you going To de-
priye this good woman of the fruits OF
her labor ON such testimony as thati
Gentlemen. II you ever need (which
pray the good Lord You wontta
his medicine. but don't on the peril Of
your good conscience and horse sense
don't take his evidence"
While making this appeal Vest was
screwed up before the jury In a char.
acteristic way that will be- readily re.
called by all Missourians who ever saw
him pleading TO his countrymen. and
the words flowed from him In wither
ing stream OF sarcasm. The crowd
Judge. jury and allwas convulsed
with laughter. The jury had a verdict
- al. LIT, a.