The star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1908-1909, 1908-03-02
Aged Suburbanite Spends POck-
etfuI of Cash and Tubes"
All the Afternoon.
GIRLS TAKE TO IT
KINDLY AS A DIVERSION
Poor Man! Well, He's Bound to
Be a Sufferer Under
the Hudson.
BY ADALINE STANLEY CARRICK.

Goodness mel That I should nave
vous little old lady as she lifted her
skirts preparatory to entering the car
which was to whiz her through the
tunnel to the metropolis. 'If Eben was
only alive he'd just have to admit that
he'd seen something that couldn't be
beat. He was the most obstinate NOR
tai hat ever breathed, was Ebenezer.
She took a deep breath, clamped her
thin lips tightly together, and with
every angle of her old-fashioned cloak
and bonnet expressing an exalted de-
gree of determination to "do the tubes
or die she crossed the stone floor and
sat down, holding fast to the slender
white column which was conveniently
near.
christopher street, next stopl" called
the guard, closing the door. A whirr
and a chug and the wonderful trip be-
gan. Pale and yet more pale grew the
old lady, but as the train neared the
centre of the rivers bed her tense eX-
preston gave way to one of slowly
dd w lllliE tColaiN. 11lbtllCEti Ill L ~
led as deep as | am, even if he is dead"
she announced to those within hearing
distance; you people don't seem to
realize that the whole river, with boats,
fishes and everything else is over your
head. There's no n in taking a trip
like this If you don't make up your
mind to get all there is in it." and after
this philosophical thrust she turned her
head to the window, peering at the
curving sides of the Il b and taking a
lively interest in all that came to her
notice.
Rode All The Afternoon.
81 amt going to get out, She de-
clared d~efantly, as the train stopped at
Christopher street. 81 haven't lived to
be SO years old, living in the country
all my life, and then stop a sensation
like this with one five-minute trip. NO,
sir. I'll take as many rides IS | like,
even if l do nave to pay a nickel for
eV4ry trip and ride she did, going
back and forth during the greater part
of the afternoon, and never once re-
Taxing her grip on the white pole. In
my minds eye I could see the triumph
ant air with which she would return
to her native village, feeling herself
lifted far above her neighbors, conde-
scending to tell her experiences only
after much urging, and planning to pc
the principal speaker at the next meet
ing of the Doreas Society. of which she
will no doubt demand the presidency,
on the strength OF her superiority.
watch for tho Tunnel Types.
soon the tunnel types will be as
pronounced as are the types noted
daily ON the Il and subway. Even
now one notes the nervous business
man shrinking into a corner behind
the paper which he does not read; the
owns it air man, who sits down,
spreads his elbows. thrusts his feet
more than halfway across the aisle,
and then glares about as If daring any
one to censure him; the smart Aleck,
who, at two-minute intervals. springs
tunnel jokes, the points of which
are best known to himself; the demure
maiden who never lifts her eyes from
the magazine in her lap; "the "gabby'
girl, who always travels with a friend
to whom she can relate the latest de-
tails of how she ''sassed' a customer,
or gave him to understand this and
that and the other; the housekeepei
with a market basket almost as big as
herself, and tho matinee girl with her
ever ready enthusiasm for clothes and
heroes, chocolate creams and per
fectly heavenly villains.
Girls Clubs Are frying II.
All these types, and many more
present themselves for your amuse'
ment. Doing the tubes promises al
most as much diversion as a whole
day at Coney Island, if you are fonC
of studying people. Already a number
of local girls clubs are arranging FOL
Saturday afternoon merrymakings, o
which doing the tubes will play
prominent part. Such a party EN-.
barked last Saturday, with feminine
shrieks and quavers which awakened
the interest of all of the passengers
and even the ~phlegmatic conductor
whose simply stunning uniform o
blush gray, with its long a cut an,
cute little round cap make him al
object for many admiring comments.
And Poor Man win suffer.
After the next few months Newarl
girls will not have to %coniine thei
daily promenade to Broad street. The,
may cross over to Park place, enter
car, whiz to Jersey City, shoot undo
the river and within a very few min
utes arrive in New York. almost il
front of their favorite ice cream parlor
Miss Society Girl will be able to rul
in upon a New York friend, stay a rea
sonable length of time, and be back Il
this city within three-quarters of a
hour.
Man, poor man, will suffer some. n
more can he enter the house wit
plausible tales of river fogs and sds
pended traffic, or of engines which re
fused to work. when in reality he ha
Ebeen having the time of his life. Blu
as / said he viii Only suffer some,
There is little fear but what his IN
genuity and practise viii serve I'M
l~-ell, for man is ever able to "blarney