davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
UNDERWRITERS HACKS CALL
AT JUDGES HOUSE; A JOKE

NEW YORK, Jan. 20-Every night
for nearly a week Justice Fawcett, o.
Brooklyn, has seen a procession Of a
dozen or more hacks from undertakers'
establishments roll up to his house at
exactly 7;30. Each driver gets out, goes
to the door and announces his arrived.
Then, when told that the judge sent
no call for a hack, he drives away
again
The judge says it is 4 practical joke
he thinks that some young man IS try
ing TO even IN a score with him. JUS
tice Fawcett visited the seven under
taking establishments from which hacks
had come and found that all had been
ordered by a nice young man about
twenty-five years old" He would like
10 meet this nice young man"
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
LAUGHTERLkND.

All aboard FOR LaUghteTland-
It's a pleasant place,
Where the sun Of happiness
Shines in every face
Where the cares Of this old world
Quickly are forgot
And there 8 never any cloud,
And lain or blot!
All aboard for Laughterland,
Region Of delight!
Can be reached bE any who
Goes about it right.
First YOU shake your troubles on
Then begin TO smile
Then you'll get to Laughterland,
In a little while.
Children dwell in Laughterlaud,
Cause they do not know
What makes grown up people bear
Burdens as they go
Light hearts seek for Deughte-land,
.Optimists go there
Guess it is the gladdest place
Mentioned anywhere!
Exchange.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

Of the mystery surrounding
chronic dyspepsia" has been solved
and many an invalid made sound
and active.
But the main point is that far
from being an occasional seat Of dis
tress, the appendix, under this new
system of living pathology" turns
out TO be very common source of
trouble.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
Shame or SANDER.

Reports of the fire scare in a
Berryville, Va, opera house tell of
young men deserving the young
women whom they had accom-
panied, and leaving them to fight
their way to safety alone. Let US
hope that this story has no real
basis; that it was sent out in the
confusion of the moment, and was
largely the result of an oyerexcited
imagination.
Virginia is as famous for the chiv-
airy of its men as it is for the wit
and beauty of its women. 1t is a
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
MINER FIGHTS WEASEL,
WANDERED into SHAFT

sHANOKIN, Pa, Jan. 20.-One mile
down the Bear Valley shaft today Fred
AcAletty had a thrilling battle with
an infuriated weasel, which had wan
dered into the mine
McAletty saw a pair of shining eyes
Deering at him. Thinking they be-
Ionged to an ordinary rat, he paid nc
attention to them, but in a short time
was startled by the animal dashing
for his face.
McAletty gave battle, but as the
weasel had sharper eyes, the miner was
badly lacerated and scratched. He
cried for assistance and other wOrkmen
arrived, armed with pickaNes and drills,
and killed the weasel.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
NO LEGLESS CHINAMEN.

It may occur TO many people that
they have never seen q Chinaman be
reft of an arm. leg, or other member
of his body. The reason for this Is that
all Orientals maintain a profound obiec-
ton to surgical operations. Indeed
they much prefer to die rather than 10
be deprived of a member, because as it
is undeniable that they came into the
world with two arms. two legs. eight
fingers. two thumbs, etc. they must Of
necessity go out Of it with the same
number Otherwise, once on the other
side, they might be sent to hunt for a
missing member and spend the greater
part Of eternity IN finding It, so they be-
ueVe,
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
REFLECTIONS.

Success leads to insolence Irish
prOverb.
The supreme excellence is simplicity
LOngfellOW.
The virtue that is in US IS put. IN US
by the Divinity.-Plato.
Those who praise the good without
loving them only pay respect to their
name.-Plutarch.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
BRYAN INVITES SELF
TO PERSUADE BOILERS

FRANKFORT, Ky, Jan 20.--WiIliam
Jennings Bryan has written TO ex-Gov-
erncr BecKbam Offering to come here
Tuesday and address the joint session
Of the general assembly in his interest
and endeavoring to persuade the bolt
ing Democratic members TO vote for
him. The visit Of Bryan at this time is
entirely on his own Initiative
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

Maybe that woman in red is seek
Ing a husband Instead OF her husband
Al any rate there are some men who
are so afflicted with leap year fright
that they viii now look guilty II they
ever see woman all in red
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

We felt all along IEat it was too good
to be true, AID now a big ale man Of
London gives It quietus by saying that
It had never been contempIated-that
transatlantic ale-pipe line with ramifi-
cations to all the big cities so that we
could get II fresh from the old country
every time we felt like it.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

Magistrate Crane. of New York. says
his city is getting TO be as bad as
Rome. In respect TO some THU gs we
might mention this is decidedly a slur
on the ancient capital.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
LIMIT ON STUDENT MARRIAGES

The Picking Government according
to the Shanghai Mercury, has decided
to limit the marriage of students, and
unless a student Is a graduate OF a
middle school and past the age of twenty
he will not be permitted TO get mar
ried
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

We nad thought that the danger in
giving a girl a garter lay in the cere-
mony that accompanied the gift. Now
It develops that in Iowa the danger is
in the gift itself and that the danger
remains, although the gift may be al
most forgotten. Another one Of those
queer Iowa ideas.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
THEIR SHYNEsS.

They were both too shy 10 marry.
Now, perhaps you think that funny;
But Louise grew shy of Harry
When she found him shy of money.
Philadelphia Press.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
Postmaster General I'm
der Mckinley Sue
cumbS to Heart
Disease.
Had Been Aware of His
Condition Since No
Vember.

PHILADELPHIA, Jan. %. - CT aries
Emory Smith, former Postmaster Cen
eraI, minister 10 Russia, and editor %
the Philadelphia Press, was found dead
in his nome at DOS Spruce street yes
terday morning by his wife, who had
just returned from church. 3Ir- smith
was lying, half dressed. across the bed,
and Mrs Smith. who called 10 him
when she entered the room, receiving
no response. rushed TO the telephone
and summoned a doctor. Dr. Hobart a.
Hare. who responded, declared that
death had been instantaneous, heart
disease. aggravated by q complication
Of grip aTd acute indigestion. being
given as the cause Of NIr. Smiths sud
den death
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

So far there has been no riotous dem
onstratiOn against the white man who
struck the COIOred man for refusing TO
give up his seat 20 q white woman.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

Expect TO beat out at least three
clubs. writes Mr.. CanuIlon- How good
that always has sounded at just about
this time every year.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

There were 2.1O0 arrests for drunken
ness in Cambridge Mass, last year.
Isn't there some institution of learning
or other at that place?
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

Mark Twain talks about the expense
Of keeping a hereTa as if everybody
knows what that is. He ought to re
member that We don't know as much
about such things as they do In New
York
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

Probably Mr.. Walsh doesn't care
whether II is made 20 or $40 years.
Some men are 80 indifferent to i'm
prisonment.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

IF the movement against Bryan gain,
much Roadway keep your eye on HOkC
Smith of Georgia.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

while the lamp holds out to burn
the vilest sinner may return" seems
likely 10 be 4 good political motto in
Ohio,
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
Began Career in Albany.

Beginning his career in Albany in 1865.
having moved with his parents from
Connecticut, where he was born in 1872,
he was first editor of the Albany Elk
press In 1870 he became joint editor OF
the Albany Evening Journal, and seven
years later was made chief editor Dur
ing his career as editor he was elected
regent Of the University OF the State OF
New York. Prior TO becoming q news
paper man he was actively engaged
during the civil war as aide to General
RatnoOne IN raising and organizing vol
unteer reg meutS, He moved 10 Phlla-
uelphla in 1870 20 become editor OF the
Press. which he subsequently purchased
the Keystone State. and he became an
active member Of the conservative wing
Of the party IN Philadelphia In 1890
he was named by President Harrison as
minister 10 Russia Allen ThOrndike
Rice had been appointed, but he died on
the eve Of his intended departure for
his post Mr.. Smiths appointment
caused no surprise. as he was greatly
admired and respected by James G.
Blaine, then Secretary Of State, as well
as President Harrison.
After serving two years as minister
Mr.. Smith resigned and returned 10 his
duties in Philadelphia. He made a not
able record as minister to Russia. 1t
was during his service that the famine
occurred in Russia. He had entire
charge Of American contributions OF
more than 100000 IN money and five
shiplOads Of food. For his work ne re-
Ceived the thanks of the Car, who COM
plmented him at Washington.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

Hughes is an ideal automatic press
agent He doesn't say a word and yet
everybody is talking about him all the
time.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

Just suppose Hobson is right. VIVA
theD2
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
Named Postmaster General.

After -ema.aing in private life for a
short time Mr.. Smith was in 1898 made
Postmaster General, which place he
filed for four years. He brought about
various reforms in the postal service
with much credit to himself. From his
retirement in 1902 until very recently he
was in demand throughout the country
as a speaker and lecturer. He delivered
political ard literary addresses in every
city of Importance in the country.
Twice married, Mr.. Smiths first wife
who was Ella Huntley died In 1895. In
August. 1907. he married Miss Nettie
Nichols, Of New York city.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20

the platforms Of his party were person
ally drawn up by him
As New York member Of the commit
tee-Ou resolutions at the Republican Ma
tl0nal Convention at Cincinnati, in
1876, he drafted n large part Of the
platform ThTOUg hout his career as a
servant OF his party he was ranked as
zone Of its leading orators and always
was in demand as an after dinner
speaker.
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
Editor at Age Of Twenty-tdree.

Editor Of an Albany paper in 1866. at
the age OF twenty-Jhree, delegate to the
Republican National Convention thir-
teen years later. minister 10 Russia in
1890 and Postmaster General from 1898
TO 1902, Charles Emory Smith was for
years prominent in the public life of
the country and was almost continually
in the public eye.
For many years during the early part
Of his career he was one of the most
active organization Republicans in the
state Of New York and Wa one OF the
favorfte friends Of Roscoe Conkiing
when the latter was the leader Of the
marty in the State. For six successive
wears he served as a delegate 10 the
state convention, and In the February
convention of 1850 was elected as tenn
porary and permanent president
In each of the other years be was
chairman OF the committee on resOlu-
tfons. except in 1871 when that place
vas held by Mr.. COnkling. he was Te-
varded as a particularly val liable metn-
ber OF the platform committees, and ii
was generally understood that many of
The Washington times., 1908-01-20
Acute Indigestion.

While attending the banquet Of the
st. Andrew Society in New York. NO
venber o, Mr.. Smith was seized with
an attack Of acute indigestion. Upon
returning TO this city he was examined
by his physician, who declared he was
suffering also from weakness Of the
heart He rallied, how or. and a
month later presided at the annual din
ner of the New England Society. In
his address of welcome he humorously
referred to the fact that his physician,
also a member of the society, had given
him permission 10 be present only on
the consideration that he should sit Op-
pOsite and keep watch.
The Ordway new era., 1908-06-26
Northern Coal Miners Strike.

Dcnver.-A Lafayette dispatch FRI
day night says: The 500 miners EN-
ployed in the coal mines here quit work
this afternoon at O'Clock in response
to an order received from headquarters
Following the referendum vote in which
the proposition made by the mine own.
ers operating in the northern Colorado
fields was turned down. There was no
demonstration whatever. and no trou.
bic is anticipated. Engineers ana
enough men are left at the mines to
keep them in good shape and when diff.
ferences OF the men and mine owners
are settled they can return to work on
a days notice.
Those towns where the men walked
out this afternoon are Lafayette, Louis.
vile. Erie, Marshall. Superior, Dacona,
Downer and Frederick. Nearly thirty
mines are affected and practically
1000 men are idle.
The Ordway new era., 1908-06-26
Why Electric Cars Stop.

Denye:.-ln the recent electrical
storms the Tramway company has shut
off power and all cars have stopped
comment. The street car people say
there is good cause for the stoppage.
On May 23rd bolt OF lightning from
almost Il clear sky destroyed nearly n
third of the units Of electrical power
that can be produced. II meant loss
OF about $4,000, At the lower alti-
tudes the street car systems are able
to keep operating in the worst cleo
irical storms, because they can use at.
rcstors. IT. the high attitudes these
have no effect. The Tramway Com
pany is taking no chances on destroy
ing any more of its machinery while
this situation lasts. Without due eau
tion one flash of lightning could put
the city absolutely without street cars
for weeks to come,
The Ordway new era., 1908-06-26
UNIVERSITY OF DENVER CUM
FeRs DEGREES ON OVER ONE
HUNDRED PERSONS.
GOVERNOR PRESI0ES
SEVERAL HONORARY oEoHte'
ARE GRANTED FOR oisTlN-
ouIsHEo SERVICE.

pcnycr-With the presentation VI
uarchmcnts Wednesday night at 'h'
Trinity Methodist Episcopal 'h"f'"'
log seniors OF the liberal arts EfHu"
al. school and law school comrl'''u
their courses of study at the h''''
sity Of Denver and another class ""A
enrolled upon the long list OF the aIuHi
nj Of Colorado's pioneer school oil
learning" OF the graduates, eighty.
ny. were. men and fortytOur women
The address OF the evening was
made hy Rev. Dr. Robert +. toyle OF
the Central Presbyterian church, wh"
smoke earnestly on the need nf chris
rian education and an awakened con.
science In all business. social, polltlcai
and religious actions
Governor Henry a Bucht"l. chan
ccllor Of the university. In his usual
fclicitous manner. presented the de
rrccs of bachelor OF arts. master OF
arts. bachelor Of law. doctor OF law.
philosophy and divinity and master ot
arts. causa hunoris.
Tho honorary degree TT doctor OF di-
vinity WIS conferred on Charles Albert
I dlllUtll. IldSlbl W AAAf "''''' '''''
Avenue Presbyterian Church, David
DRYDEN Forsyth pastor First Metho'
dist Church. Grand Junction, Marvin
a. RAIDER. superintendent Of the dis
trict of Manila and Philippines, and
Henry l.. Wiston. First Methodist
Church. Boston.
a pleasant surprise not on the pro
gram was announced by the governor
In the form OF the degree OF doctor OF
civil law. which was presented to Dean
Lucius Hoyt of the law school. in rec
ugnitiOn Of his untiring services on be
half of the university.
The following students were award
ed prizes: For the best average in
Greek through four years. s25 in gold,
Abbic Doughty: the governors prizes
for scholarship. school loyalty and
moral standing. s25 in gold each. 10
siah Schultz and Blossom Henry; the
Emanuel prize. $50. offered by the law
school for scholarship. Percy Morris
the alumni prize. $50. for the hes,
grade second or third year man. Roy
Dickerson.
Bishop Henry A. Warron was pres
cnt and pronounced the benedictior
at the close OF the exercises.
The Ordway new era., 1908-06-26
One ON
Esse,,,;s

''.a,a ., the,happy home. 4 ~.
'und of information ~.
o' promoting health NJ
". nsa' living and tno.ls,, y!
best products. N~aQ
rrOdue'' Of as,a,l III
reasonable claim. ,u,,ss
and which have a,,.j,.l /
S',1, acceptance through Ii, ~.
Well Informed Of tn. v,
v'dnals only. bu. Of IL, ~
the happy faculty Of .,r,,..
ing the best the world .sa
ohe oil the produea d,X
known component p.,. i
remedy approved by plyi,.]
mended by til. w.n.isr
World as a valuable and W.,
laxative is the vell.taen'
and Elixir of senna, 1,rs
effects always buy o.
facturcd by the Caliloni, 3,
only, and for sale by al ~
The Ordway new era., 1908-06-26
TOO GOOD FOR rHsu
Type OF Office Boy al
Funny Man, o.,

so you have come /. reI
advertisement for oso I'D
old broker briskly. d hul
cigarettes"
NO. sir" replied he Rpj
ster In the doorway.
Chew gum or Rad NJ
Never. sir"
"Play juggler si4 II
weights or talk nonss:s 4
telephone when your e;e
sent?"
NO. sir"
Ever go TO the dfa'
Never saw a circus cri
How about baseball hs
two or three af,ernostu
the game?"
Don't like baseball. e
The old broker b. u Z
cigar. .
My boy" he said. soN
the twenty.ninth story, iH''
II think SO. sir"
well. It is not hiss .
you"
Not high enough 'a =
NO, you belong up D =
Chicago News,
The Ordway new era., 1908-06-26
.Copyrisht by A. {. McCiurs s Co. lnll
SYNOPSIS.

Cattle thieves despoiling ranches OF
South Dakota George Willstun, small
rnnchman. runs into rendezvous OF
thieves on island in Missouri river. They
have stolen cattle from Three Bar ranch.
IanGford visits Williston and his dnuGh-
ter and Williston reports what he has
seen to I.angford. who determines TO riu
country OF thieves. Jesse BLACK heads out
laws. 1-angfnrd falls in love with Willis
toms daughter. bur does not tell her so
Louise Dale. court steuuGr1pher. ana
niece OF Judge Dale. visits krmah al re-
quest OF county attorney. Gordon. 10 takc
testimony In preliminary hearing. Gord"n
falls in love with her, After preliminary
examination Williston's home Is attacked
and defended by his daughter and him
self. outlaws fire building Just as Lar x
ford and his cowboys arrive. OutlhWs
carry on Williston but LanGtord rescucs
the daughter. Without Willistion evidence"
against Black Is mcager. and case seems
TO be going against the state. Gordon
takes night ride and finds winston.
who has escaped from Captors. Ihe
courthouse AT kemah burns at night
wllliston holds tea party in his room
following court house fire. and Mary VIII
liston and Louise Dale attend Court con
Senes in the church. and Willlstons tes-
timony is introduced by Gordon. Black.
seeing his case lost. makes break for lih-
erty. and escapes. Louise from her hotel
room in the night sees Il man in tn" act
OF shooting Gordon through the window
of his room across the street. She urous"s
Mary who shoots at the would-b" assls-
sin. but too late. for Gordon Is seriously
wounded.
The Ordway new era., 1908-06-26
Wo:nen's' Club Election,

Pueblo, Colo-The Colorado Fedora.
ton of Colored Women's Clubs Sc.
lected Cheyenne as the next place OF
meeting. The convention voted to
give to the colored orphanage of
Pueblo s70.01. in the rescue fund. The
following officers were elected: Mrs.
Lizzie Frohman. Denver, president;
Mrs. Il. b. Butler, Colorado Springs.
first vice president; Mrs. c. G. Ash.
ford. Cheyenne, second vice president;
Miss Matte Aldrich, Pueblo. recording
secretary; Mrs. Eliza Goens, Denver
corresponding secretary; Miss Susa
Starkey La Junta, auditor; Mrs, ]. p
Watson, Pueblo. state organizer; Mrs
l.. A. Hargrove. Pueblo. treasurer:
Mrs. Oscar Baker. Pueblo, historian.
The Ordway new era., 1908-06-26

after he run from Gordons Office. We
found him on the corner"
Langford squared his broad shout.
ders-then put strong. protecting arms
around Mary. Now was he her all
Come, my darling. we will go TO
him together.
She pushed him from her violently.
Il will go alone. Why should Won
come? He is mine. He is all I have
there is no one else. Why don't Won
go? You are big and strong-can't
you make that man suffer for nv
fathers murder? Jim, take me to him =
She seized the cowboys arm. and
they went out together and on down
the stairs.
Langford stood still moment fol.
lowing them with his eyes. His face
was white. He bent his head. lin
looking back. saw him thus, the dun
light from the hall-lamp falling upon
the bent head and the yellow hair
When Langford raised his head. his
face. though yet white, bore an ex.
preston Of concentrated determine.
tion.
He. too, strobe quickly down the
stairs.
The Ordway new era., 1908-06-26
Tho Fool Of the Family,

Primogeniture had engaged SO much
OF young Americans hostile atten-
ton that his companion, who han.
pened to be the heir to an earldom, felt
constrained to apologize for it. III
has its advantages" he said, mildly: /:
1t makes but one fool in a family
you know "All my younger broth.
ers amount to something, as you
Americans put IT," he further er.
planned. "One Of them il in the armv
another In the navy, and the third
lives and works in the east END q,
London."-Youth's Companiop.
The Ordway new era., 1908-06-26
Where Is Pedss'

II has not been many !sn
popular expressions ID ~
note remoteness AND
were such place nams' y
and Kalamazoo. Yet O'a
are now hustling citie; ~ ~.
lation of more than s'M5
approximately as near 'h
cal center OF popula'i'' y
and St. Louis.
The standard exples'%
rural obscurity is "poa%
body has heard Of POds,S h
is it? There is no p0da, !.
of $1,000 federal p0.
limited states board % J, !
names has thrown only -,
the subject by decreel,s. my.
follows: "Quaboag; pow pow
town. worcester counv, a
aetts. Not North. nor = y.
there a Podunk, an'''
Magazine.
The Ordway new era., 1908-06-26

ON the floor and kissed him on the
lips. A great light came into his eyes
before he closed them contentedly and
slipped into Inconsistencies again.
Langford rounded up Jim Munson
and sent him ross with stretcher,
and then ran upstairs for an extra
blanket on his own bed. II was bitter
~ cold. and Dick must be well
wrapped. On the upper landing he en-
countered Mary alone. Something In
her desolate attitude stopped him.
What's the matter. Mary? he de-
manded. seizing her hands.
Nothing" she answered, duly
How is he?"
All right. trust and pray. but hurt
terribly. wickedly."
He did not quite understand. Did
she love Gordon? Was that why she
looked so heart-broken? Taking her
face in his two hands. he compelled
her to look at him straight,
Now tell me" he said.
Did Kill HIM" she asked,
Kill whom"
Why. him--Jessc Black"
Then he understood.
Mary. my girl, was it you? We're
those last shots yours ," All the IT
otous love in him trembled on his
tongue
Did u" she persisted.
God grant you did" he said, sol
EMMY. There is blood outside the
window hut he is gone
Il don't like to kill people. she said
brokcnly. Why do | always have To
do it,"
He drew her TO him strongly and
held her close against his breast.
You are the hravcst aud bcs, girl
on earth" he said My girl-you ar"
my girl. you know-hereafter | Will
do all necessary killing for-my wife
He kissed the sweet. quiycr!ng lips
as he said IL;
Why. Jim" cried l.angford in sur.
prise I thought you had gone with
the strcrcher.'
Il did GO" said Jim. swallowing
hard. He shifted nervously from one
spurred foot to the other. But |
came back"
He looked at Langford beseechingly.
Boss. want to see you minute.
ef-Mary don't mind"
Il will come with YOU. Jim nov
said Langford with quick apprchen.
sion.
"Mary'-Jim turned away and
stared unseeingly down the staircase
go back to your room for a little
while. | will call for you soon Keep
up your courage.
Wait" said Mary. quietly. There
were unsounded depths OF despair in
her voice. thought 1t was so clear and
low. There was another shot. | re-
member now. Jim. tell me-"
Jim turned. The rough cowboys
eyes were wet-for the first time in
many a year.
"They-hope he won't die. Mary.
girl. Your fathers shot bad. but he
amt dead. We think Black did it