Ladysmith news-budget. [volume] (Ladysmith, Rusk County, Wis.) 1907-1927, 1908-05-07
MAY FORECAST
Copyright 1907 by c. H. Rieth.l

w
be, whats the score?' Book in
stallments will be paid on the lst.
Gas meters will run slower, and pre-
sidential candidates will run faster.
Pride, which has been going before a
fall, will go behind go-cart. Straw
berry measure will be:
Twelve quarts make crate.
One pint makes qSart,
Top berries make make sale,
Nobody makes kick.
Mr.. Taft will appear at Chicago,
aud engage quarters in the garage
for one 10 horse power elephant, and
one so horse power Teddy bear. Mr..
Bryan will start for Denver in Il
1-mule power runabOut. Congress
will adjourn about the 10th, and the
members will go home and explain.
The watchful tabbycat will get
The helpless little flicker.
And the prohbitionists will set
A few more traps for liquor.
The sun will rise at 6 O'Clock and
go to bed at I; and the sweet June
bride will contemplate the near ap
proach of Heaven. The breath OF
May will bring the fern, the rose and
buttercup, and the farmers wife viii
milk and churn before the men get
up. The boys will skin the slippery
xxy: Il I'm, insc In Il l. nj
the ice-man will be out to skin the
innocent housewife. The frog will
sound richer bass from rivers and
ravines, and man will tone his sys-
tenn up with sassafras and greens.
And then the city boarder will 49,
Begin to correspond
With some bucolc country place
OF which his wife is fond. - .---
The host will promise country fare
That most revered of boons,
And place his order up at town
For seven tons of prunes.
The graduate will choose a theme
for his great June grafton, and plan
to tell us what is good for this neg
ected nation; the music school will
graduate Ophelia and Viola, and
when they both come home they II
buy themselves pianOla.
The thrasher will descant at eve
Upon the passing day,
The festive colt will fill his tum
With prophy lactc hay; 9t
The chicken hawks will pounce upon
The fat buff cockin fries,
And the horse will whirl his tai-piece at
The all-tarnation flies.
The SaXOns called the month Tri-
Mike, because at this season the
dairyman makes his milk of three
parts-one part milk, one part wat
err, one part formaldehyde.
May is from the Latin Mains, just
as June takes it's name from JuniOres
the Juniors. That is, this is a month
when old heads are at their best, and
young men like Bill Taft and Ted
Roosevelt will have to look out for
old tops like Uncle Joe Cannon and
Uncle John Rockefeller. About the
18th, nobody much will care to bet
that Uncle Joe will not be nOmnat ted
for president. or that Uncle John will
pay that thirty million dollar fine.
May is bad month to wed in,
Because, we are told, it is said in
Such cases the stork. as a custom. begins
The young husbands troubles, o horrors,
with twins.
After the 23d, May will he under the
influence of Gemini, the sign of the
arms. Boys born in Gemini will
want to bear arms. They will be
soldiers, and work for the govern
ment at $l3 a month.
Gcmini people are restless. They
move all the time, and you always
have to ask them where they are liv-
ing now. They have brilliant imagin-
antions, and think Bryan will have
walk over They are foolish, and
think Taft won't get the colored vote
They are brutally honest, and gen
orally tell the young mother that her
baby is ugly.
The June announcements will be
made, and Madam Gould will don her
lighting cap and say that she will
marry Prince Sagan; whereat her
Boni, whom she had to forcibly de-
tacb, will challenge Hello to come out
and fight Il splitting match. The
The Prince will buy some navy plug,
and Boni buy the same, and both
will hurry to the field Of sudden death
or fame; and while the doctors hurry
up, lest some bold fighter dies, the
duties will spite tobacco juice in one
another's eyes. The seconds will
cheer on the fight, the band will play
a tune, and Boni will hit Helie with
a silver-ribbed spittoon; receiving
which the doughty Prince will down
him In the mud, wash his hated fea-
lures with wet tobacco cud.
And then John D. will get in line
+ With sundry gIowls and hollers,
And pay his June instament on
That thirty million dollars
The Anti-Spiiting Crusade
Everybody should help stop the