Evening journal., 1908-10-09
Personal and Pertinent

"tvhy" said the customer "do you insist not in
staing telephone in your house? 1t would be great
because" said the dressnaker, q had and did
not like it, Always my patrons were calling me up to
ask why had not sent home their dress. why had not
kept appointment why had put so and so on their
bin and too much. can lie by letter. can lie
by word but cannot lie through that horrid little black
thing that whrs. Just as begin to think something
begins to explode in my ear and 1 think Mon Dieu!.
this is a visitation, must not lie
"yvho knows what makes IT whir2 Who knows who
made telephone anyway? II is all pretty queer think
do know where he got his telephone ideaY u IS not
good idea? II could not have come from good place
Anyway win not lie in one SO why should have one
in my house?"-New York Evening Sun.
IF the young people allow this barn dance craze to
grow" remarked a wcl known local architect buildings
here viii have to be erected much more substantially
than heretofore-that is, All buildings such private
homes or clubs where dancing is carried on There
jump and n swing about barn dances that VIII cause
swayng of the beams in even the most substantial frame
with whole crowd on the floor at once skipping
up and down the floor right together with the music
You can imagine what might happen You know how
necessary il Is sometimes company of soldiers TO
step when crossing bridge II this dance con-
tinues popular it may be necessary for some of the
dancers 10 keep OF step with tho music. know Of
at the Colonial Club last season at which
the barn dance numbers had to he stopped the building
swayed so NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS. Plain Dealer.
He was a fisherman. and in love. He had angled for
Angelina, and caught her He had angied for fish also
the liveong day. and caught ephippid-hat is,
porgy That night he went to Angelinas father on
the delicate question Of matrmony lie was nervous
and could not bring himself TO the momentous question
so he talked about the weather and fishing. The old
asked presently;
only pound porgy' replied the suitor
MY boy" exclaimed the happy father. II know what
you have come about Take her and be happy. No man
has ever confessed such a truth before. You
piscatorial George Washington"
That settled it, though matter Of fact, the porgy
weighed only half a pound.-Bohemian Magazine.
AS the train had made several sudden Jerks abrupt
stops. the traveller became apprehensve. There had
been accidents the line OF late and there
cause for fear Calling the porter aside he said:
Sam, IS this train safe?'
safe any. sah" assured the porter.
Well is there block system on this road?"
Sans grin extended from ear to ear
system in de world. Ten miles back were blocked by
mule just blocked by a COW. and I reckon
when get further souf Wen be blocked by aiga
tor Block system boss2 Well All guessl"-chcago
News
Milwaukee book has his troubles occasionally
Not long he entered the Office Of a young lawyer
who was buying his first library
After the different books necessary for beginning
will charge YOU $40 for this in boards or tho same set
'The lawyer looked as h he thought the agent had
gone crazy
IF YOU viii make me price straight dollars" the
Young man said I'll tell you whether want IL not
sheep ad lumber do YOU, II my father is lawyer
in northern sn2"-Mtwaukee Free Press.
Eben w Sears Of Lynn has returned from his vaca-
tion In Lewiston. Ne with remarkable tale Of tho
way liquor is served in the prohibition state SAYS
that friend took him into place several men
were drinking and ordered beer Tho room was
without furniture or fixtures for table few
chairs and the gas Jets
while Sears wondering where the beer was 10
from the proprietor stepped a gas Jet and turned
IL whereat the amber fluid flowed forth as from the
spgot of keg The proprietor filled the glasses Of
Sears and his friend and then other customers
drew forth mugs of another gas let After
that he produced glass Of whiskey from third jet
Seeing that there several gas Jets IN the
Sears test Of the propretors resources was
about to call for Martini cocktail when suddenly there
were alarms and scurryngs without followed by a noise
like a squad Of liquor deputies
Instantly the proprietor sptang corner and pressed
invisible button Wondering what the effect of this
might be Sears turned the beer gas jet nothing
forth.
The gas is shut or" said the proprietor with wink
Sears was unable 10 learn where the liquor
Boston Herald