Wausau pilot. [volume] (Wausau, Wis.) 1896-1940, 1908-03-24
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If the wife is a bad cook the hus-
oand is apt to be good rooster.
Would you accept him if you were
~ 81 certainly should-if l were
you !'-London Opinion.
"Can she keep a secretT "No, but
she can keep a cook, and that's some
thing to brag about. - Exchange
HE not only was infatuated with the
girl, but he fell in love with the whole
family" 'VThen they all had money,
eh?"
The Parental voice-Maud, Is that
young man gone yet? The Daughter
Yves, papa. he says he is.-Cleyeland
Leader.
80 you want a job, hey? Well.
what did you do at your last placer
II didn't do anything. l was the Office
boy."-Judge.
Mr.. Askitt--Do you think marriage
Is a failure? Mrs. De Vorsay-No;
only a temporary Understandable
Illustrated Bits
She-How many men owe their sue
cess In life to their wives? He-And
how many men one their wives to their
success in life?
/ Eph Green-Ah desires to purchase
ah razzer, Clerk-Safety? Eph Green
No, sab; dis am fo' social usage
Harper's Weekly.
| Nirc st. -
cases of appendicitis. Second Doctor
Lose any? First Doctor-Not one.
They all paid up.
Doctor believe you have some sort
Of poison In your system! Patient
Shouldn't wonder. What was that last
stuff you gave me?
II believe in laying something by
for rainy day." remarked the absent
minded man as he appropriated o
strangers umbrella.
Overheard in Restaurant.-Wigg--
Didn't the waiter say this was spring
lamb? Wagg-Yes, but he looked rath-
er sheepish about it.
Tourist Cooking over a deep preci-
pice)-I suppose people fall down here
often, don't they? Guide-No; once Is
enough for most of 'em.
How shall we announce our en-
gagement?" Tell couple Of your
girl friends and make them promise
not to tell"-Houston Post.
"What Gid you think of my speech?"
asked the orator "It was beautiful"
said the young woman. ut made me
think Of my commencement essay"
Applicant-What is the first thing to
do before you get marriage licensef
License Clerk-Think it over, young
man; think it over.-Illustrated Bits.
$50 Galley really had to pay Miss
Yerner fifty thousand dollars for
breach of promise?' "Yes, and now
he wants to marry her for her money"
Customer don't like the shoes;
the soles are too thick. Shopman-You
will learn to like them, as the obJec-
lions you speak of will gradually wear
off.
| DuL, OtOlSC odlO ohS " sAAN NN,N~
some young volunteer, what would
you really do if there was sudden
cry TO arms, TO armsY" WELL" said
George, sit would depend. If the cry
issued from your lips 1 think l should
come"
General" said the fair vegetarian,
"you should abandon the beef diet
Look at the deer. 1t eats nothing but
grass and leaves, and yet 1t can out
run the hounds for hours" Madam.
l require food that will prevent my
running"
oyer was standing on the sidewalk
as wedding party came down the
church steps. What are you doing
here? queried his friend Myer, who
happened along just then. watching
the tied go out" answered oyer, with
an open-faced grin.
Pardon me-" said Ascum, but II
must be tough to be married to a strong
minded woman" "Oh," replied Hen
peck, sit has Its advantages. When
nv wife thinks she hears burglars
| downstairs, she won't trust me to go
down and investigate" philadelphia
| Press.