davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
JOHNSON AND THE EAST.
He stands About where Bryan Did
Twelve Years Ago.

@AsNs
From the San Francisco ArVunaut
During his recent visit 10 the East in
connection with the Presidents conven-
ton Of governors at Washington. Gov.
Johnson. of Minnesota, was made much
OF by Eastern Democrats who stand ira
ditionally opposed to Mr.. Bryan. In
Washington. in New York. and elsewhere
Gov. johnson received a kind Of atten-
ton which must have surprised a plain
man whose whole social. political. and
moral makeup Is a product OF Western
conditions, and whose purposes are In
tune with Western ideas. None the less.
Gov. Johnson Is probably too shrewd TO
suffer under any Misrepresentation Of mo-
tives. He must know that ne stands not
al all in accord with the ideas or the
aims OF the Eastern Democrats. that the
warmth Of his reception at the East is
merely a measure Of the Eastern antag-
onism toward Mr.. Bryan. and designed
20 embarrass and annoy that eminent
statesman. AS a matter OF fact, Gov
johnson Is quite as advanced" In his
notions as Bryan himself. probably more
so. There is no element IN the Bryan
scheme OF political ideas which johnson
has not approved, while IN some re-
spects he has out-Bryanized even Bryan
himself. 1t is recalled, among other
things. that Gov. Johnson has publicly
declared himself for policies that would
make Il impossible for any one citizen 10
have an income above $4,000 per year
In truth, Gov. Johnson stands to-day.
about where Bryan stood twelve vears
ago-before ne Bryan became prosper
Gus, and before association with the
higher-ups OF the world had modified his
ideas. Save for the fact that his is a
new name. unprejudiced by past differ
enees and contentious, Johnson would be
no more acceptable TO the Eastern wing
Of the party than Bryan himself
Talk about Gov. Johnson o. anybody
else besides Bryan in connection with
the Democratic nomination Is sheer non
sense. Bryan's nomination al Denver
IS as certain as anything In the future
can be. IL, previous 70 two weeks ago
there was any question about IL that
question was removed by the action OF
the Alabama and California conventions,
not 10 mention the more recent action
Of the Texas and West Virginia Demo
Gratis. Bryan IS to-day as much the
master Of his party and as much its idol
as he was eight years ago. True, The
Eastern wing Of the party Is far from
approving him, but its spirit was tanned
by the pitiful figure made by the nomi-
nee of its own choice four years ago.
II Bryan shall be nominated. as he sure
ly viii be, there win be no movement in
the party against him and no bolt The
Fasteners understand perfectly we'll, for
all their criticism of Bryan's extrava-
gances, that he is incomparably the
strongest man In the party-not only
with the party itself bet strongest in
his ability to win Republican votes. The
Eastern Democrats may. indeed, amuse
themselves in batting Bryan by ostenta-
tiOus greetings 70 Gov. johnson. but this
does not mean that anybody really ex-
poets Johnson 10 find favor over Bryan
az Denver.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
Where Lies the Blame7

Moralists may be shocked and preach
ers may condemn the wretched bank
teller Of New York who was short s.. 900
OF tia banks money and committed sui
eide, but all the righteous Indignation at
the two sins-theft and self-murder-will
not wipe out the fact that others We're
not blameless. Here was a man who had
been with the bank for twenty long years
until he had won his way up to the posi-
ton Of teller. In that position of trust
he handled millions Of dollars in the
course Of a year. and for his work. his
integrity, and his responsibility he re-
ceived the munihcent salary Of $500 a
year. Eight years ago ne married. and
with the increase Of personal RESPONSE
bility he found It difficult to keep even
with the world. Five years ago he Dor
rowed" some money from the bank to
help pay his current expenses and he
was never able TO pay It back The one
borrowing" led to others, and-to the
final sh-disgrace-death
There can be no pallIation of theft;
there is no excuse for suicide, and yet
one cannot, in thinking Of this ruined
life, fail to take note OF the fact that
the bank in which this man was en-
ployed pays 16 per cent on its stock.
Such dividends as this were possible be-
cause the salaries Of employees. even
those who had been in the service of
the bank for twenty years. were kept as
low as possible
Human nature has its limits of endur-
Rnce. and we have come to a point where
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
The Pension List.

Fortunately the question OF pensions
awarded 10 the soldiers and sailors OF
the United States and their dependents
has never been seriously injected into
our quadrennlal political disputes. and it
is probably only a coincidence that GER
tain Democratic journals are calling at
tention TO appropriations for pensions
made by the late session of Congress.
It is only under the head OF general ex-
travasance in appropriations that the
bill carrying about s16o, 900 600 for pensions
is mentioned.
This. in all probability. marks the
highest point to which the pension roll
Of the United States will ever go. In
1893 the appropriation by Congress for
this purpose was in excess Of SI5s. 600 OCO
to provide for the new eligibles to the
roll created by special legislation. Then.
year by year. the sum grew less and the
appropriations were reduced. until Con-
sress passed the service-pension law
which added host Of new names TO the
roll
But now it might seem that the limit
has been reached. The records show that
2667.OOO men served in the Union army.
and Of these veterans only 100000 survive.
and these will not be with US long. The
pension authorities figure as do the
insurance men. whose tables show that
1900 OF every 10000 individuals die be-
tween the ages Of ten and thirty. At the
age Of sixty but half Of the original
number would survive, and at the age Of
seventy less than 5000 would be living
while only 1900 would live 70 four-score
years
Seventy years Of age Is the average Of
the veterans who survive the greatest
civil strife the world has ever known;
the strife that alone made possible the
united nation that is to-day the envy Of
the world. Seventy years old. and the
hands that held the muskets whose sharp
reports echoed the cry Of Union for
ever are trembling now and weak. The
feet that carried stout hearts and bodies
unafraid through a storm Of death to the
post Of duty move now but haltingly and
painfully toward the grave. Seventy
years! and each hour marks the thin
ming Of the ranks. and soon, in answer
TO the muster-call. there viii be no an
swer. but only the echo OF a sob.
Since the dreadful war ceased. out OF
the riches which that war made possible
we have paid something over $500 600. 900
for pensions. and It has been money mag
nihcently spent. for il was glorlously
earned. But already the end is in sight
Grim death will rob us Of these creditors
to whom we owe so much. and with moth
ing left but the remembrance Of what
they wrought and the inheritance Of
honor they have bequeathed. who will
talk Of extravaganza then?
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
Authors of this Story.

but had paid no heed. Indeed. l
had scant time. for as I have init
mated. the life-preserver which my
taXicab friend had put about my
waist was SLED with lead had
thought then my end had come-rny
end-me to die like this
Verify | was ashamed Of having
been caught 50 easily. but 1t was
this very shame that saved my life;
for ! tried 10 swallow rs chagrin,
but il stuck in my throat. and 50.
though l was fRthOms deep in the
ocean. could not swallow any
water. nor could the air. with which
my lungs were filed. find cEress.
And so it was that as ! rolled
impotent on the hard. unyielding
sand Of the bottom. had heard a
cracking sound hard by me. and
opening my eyes had seen an anchor
making its SLOW way upward.
By a gigantic effort I clutched Il,
and as the sailors on the windlass
hoisted in they hOisted me too.
was 50 elsted that l forgot my cha
grin az my earlier defeat. and this
had like to have been NJ undoing,
Tor before we reached the surface
bad swallowed all the water I could
hold.
Once az the surface. however. Il
had been easy 70 make my way
aboard. and 20 my surprise had
found that I was on the deck OF
that very schooner.
Al this / told my lady love as /
lay in my wet clothes with my head
upon her lap.
And you were 50 brave she
said. brushing G fly f-om my nose
Sc. by Z. and a Quarer L. was
what you insisted upon when frs I
saw you.
why aid we not sail the course?"
asked. foebly.
That way was certain death,
she replied. You tainted on the
deck. ard so I disguised you as
gentleman nay" a. protested.
twas not much; you had been
under water 50 long your face was
quite clean. and 50 ! brought you
ashore, stole these two horses from
the circns tina, was stranded there
during the jamestown Exposition.
and-here we arc.
Thank fortune. 7 sad. az l
squeezed Ter tiny hard.
Dearest. she said. bending over
me. y love you 80 that am going
70 trust you with the mysterious
message. I. too. have dsciphered il,
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

II seems altogether probable that the
expected will happen at Chicago-the
nomination Of William Howard Taft for
President.
When the President months ago, is
sued HIS ultimatun1. Take Taft OF me-"
it was then the Secretary Of War be-
came a well-nigh invinclble factor In the
preliminary campaign That ul.imatum
was worth more to him than all the
work of vorys. Hitchcock. and the per-
niciousiy active offlceholdlng class com
bined
Opposition to Taft is strong enough,
even at this late band-wagon day. to
encompass his defeat in convention
There is lack OF faith in his running
qualities. He does not Inspire party con-
fdence the ants are declaring He has
no enthusiastic following His available
ity is doubted His candidacy forced
the partisan view Of the future is full
OF uncertainty and misgivings. But
with a choice of alternatives. Take
Taft or me-" the opposition, or allies,
after much floundering about, apparently
will accept the flrst-take Taft. with
all the uncertainty that envelopes him.
rather than "-Roosevelt-with vic
tory assured in advance. OF the two
evils, as the opposition regards them, It
would choose the least
COMPRISING the situation Into a sen
tence, in the opposIuon's philosophy:
Better Taft and possible defeat than
four years more Of Roosevelt
But. while looking forward 10 this
probable outcome Of the convention.
there are certain things which this news
paper positively refuses TO believe. viz:
That a cut-and-dried programme
is now being prepared which the con-
vention will carry out 20 the letter.
That the Roosevelt sentiment will
be held in check from beginning 90
end.
That Fairbanks has definitely and
finally been determined upon for the
Vice Presidency on the ticket with
Taft.
That either Fairbanks OF Hughes
would refuse 20 take second place
on the ticket, If nominated.
That a governmental course. pru-
dent and conservative In character.
involving the executive. the legls-
lative, and the judicial. and a COM
plete surrender 10 the Interests"
has been carefully mapped out and
agreed upon, and viii be ratified IN
convention and at the polls
That the letter which Roosevelt has
written. saying that no delegate
friend Of his Will violate his instruc-
lions. contains a threat TO disregard
the conventions will by refusing the
nomination. II rendered him.
These are things The Washington Her
aid rejects. even while admitting that
the expected is likely to happen as to
Taft.
In its opinion. the Chicago convention
will be anything but cut-and-drled af
fair. The Republican party is not GO
Ing to give itself over to the reaction
aries or turn backward in a dav-not
with one-half the country more radical
than II ever was before. And not with
the big stick stil in aggressive hands
at Washington.
Whoever the nominee be. whatever the
platform contain, the party must travel
the Rooseveluan road in the campaign
to win. Any other path will lead to de-
feat. Taft must realize this. even II
many Of his supporters are blind to the
fact.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

| Author Of Steam fittings and
WTerches." The Value Of Sole
Leather "a a Side Product. and
other humorous verse.
Calamity our noble stccds dashed
through the night.
Again and yet again had roweled
the side Of my good mare Billy
Hibbs. until my left spur had be-
come as blunt as the conscience Of
a street-railroad man. but with all
my effort il had been all / could do
10 keep alongside the cream-colored
stallion my lady rode. She had
snaflled it from circus.
Indeed. but j was very in. Catarrh
was upon me even now: my clothes
were sodden wet. and I was saddle
sore. but still l rode ere,4 and
steadily, only rising on my stirrIps
to ease the blisters when she l loved
was not observing me.
How welcome was the fist streak
Of returning dawn. She was the first
to see il glimmering between her
horses ears.
See" she cried. the day is al
hand.
a groan Of thankfulncss was all
thst ] could give.
But now knew that must look
Tor a place Of safety. where we
might rest. and yeti feared that
close behind Us might be the Tad
kiEs trio and he. the hero Of the
uIxicab. who had caused my ruin.
AT any cost. ] must keep her from
ftlling into their hands
And so. when by and by We rode
into a valley all green sward and
buttercupS. l pointed the way 90
clump Of trees. and we rode behind
them and found there an ideal spot
for resting.
/ threw myself from my horse and
reclined on the banks OF a purling
brook. While she. ever faithful. cur
ried both the horses. hobhlcd them.
and turned them out to grass.
Then. and then alone. did she
condescend 20 ST, beside me.
Marking n1y pale face and think
ing me near to frirting. she took of
her shoe. and using Il as cup.
brought me a gallon or two Of les
water from the brook. with which
she started 10 lave my hands and
face. She then made me sarory
mess Of dandelion salad. which.
when ! had eaten It. made me feel
like another MAJ.
I'm glad To see you recovered. /"
She said. Wont you tell me how
you escapedf"
Escaped / cried.
Yes, she answered. WAS II you
gave the Orderi"
The ORDER Then remembered.
Just as | had plunged overheard.
and before | sank in the muddy
waters Of Hampton Roads. had
heard a voice roar up anchorP'
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
Troops I'm Cuhn

From the Boston Advertiser.
The decision to make haste slowly
in the withdrawal of American soldiers
from Cuba Is wise. and will receive
general approval in the United States
There IS no occasion for questioning the
sincerity OF this nations intention TO
leave the island 10 the Cubans on the
date officially made public. but TO fore
stall that date now would be Overhasty
and might lead 10 undesired postpone
ment of The final evacuation
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
A LITTLE NONSENSE.


The end-seat hog
Along doth jig
Amid a deal OF kicking.
He blocks the way
And people say
He ought to have a licking.
His arklike feet
The victims greet
With language terse and acid;
But through 1t all.
It doth befall,
The end-seat hog is placid.
The end-seat hog
Sets men agog
And causes fights and factions.
Ought he to go?
Well, I dunno;
The end seat has attractions.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
SATURDAY. JUNE G, 1908.
ARE YOU GOING AWAY

Subscribers who leave the city
temporarily should not fail TO
have THE WASHINGTON
HERALD follow them Ad-
dresses will be changed as often
as requested. You cannot keep
fully Informed about affairs in
Washington unless your paper
comes % you daily. Before
leaving. mar or telephone your
address 10 this Office.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
A Kentucky Ynwp.

From the Louisville cOurierJournal.
Clear away the brush-heaps. He who is
not for US is against US. Down with fac
tionism Out with the old banners bear
ing the legend ''the equal rights Of all,
exclusive privileges 70 none" Up with
the milk-white flag OF the constitution
cnblazoned by the eagles Of the republic.
Can't may be a clever dog. but Truth is
better, and. in the battle before US, he
will be q winner
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

From the Atlanta Georgian
"A counting ROOM complete with coy
corners, screens. chaperons. and soft
toned lights, is the latest thing in equip
ment for institutional churches" saws a
Chicago dispatch As soon as the cam
paign is over here. We intend shipping a
lot of hard-stock Georgia bachelor editors
up there
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
Nrngnilcent and AbIe.

From the Grand Rapids Herald.
The Herald sees in William Howard
Taft a magnificent candidate for Presi~
dent Of the United States. and in Charles
W Fairbanks. OF Indiana, the most able
and most acceptable running mate.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
bipartisan Value.

From the Los Angeles Gazette
He is the best citizen who Is an Ameri-
lean before he is either Republican or
q Democrat The country has claims su-
perior TO party. The welfare Of the State
Is a far more important consideration
than that a bunch Of politicians should
get their shouts in the trough.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
ANSWERS TO QUESTIONS.

Newport News. Yes. the author is
the same d. ]. Callahan you know,
formerly Of Norfolk. Literature is
merely a side issue Of his.
To ]. c. H-No. we do not think
it was Sidney Bieber in disguise
A photographer invariably travels
with Uncle Joe" Cannon.
Mount Pleasant.-The second chap
ter Of Under Letters OF Marque"
really seemed 90 rs the strongest
It's all matter Of taste. however.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
EVERY SATURDAY.
Our Motto: If you see it in The Bic
Stiok. il ism Z necessarily so.
BY YE LOCAL SCRIBE.

d. J. Kaufman Philadelphia on
Thursday.
Cuno Rudolph is home from An
napolis.
Billy Hibbs is again Week-ending
az Leesburg.
Not so many prominent people
now in our midst
The Big Sticks best wishes follow
Harry King abroad.
Col. William Hart. firing Of base
ball. is now going in for tennis.
Whoop It up for the Glorious
Fourth. That's the day to blow our
selves.
Give something for the play
grounds. Don't be a tishtwad. like
Congress.
We have Il straight that sixteen
more theater projects are under way
Twenty-three in all
tranquility now reigns al the Dis
trict building. Probing done with
and tax-paying over.
June H-remsmber the date-the
great p. Of T.-C. q {. baseball
game will be pulled of.
Ralph Lee is teaching Col. Harper
how to use the sp!tball. and thinks
he has the making Of a second Ten
Hughes.
Ii is limited that Samuel G.. Blythe
viii spring a letter before the Chi
cago convention that will shake the
political universe.
We have II on the highest author
ity that but for the efforts OF our
friend Charles c. Glover Congress
never would have passed a currency
bill.
Hon. II. 3. F. Macfarland will
speak at the opening Of the new
municipal building Hon. II. Itch
field West Is going 70 Carada 10
play golf
Jerking Buffalo. Grouchy Porcu-
pine, Sly Dos. and other members
Of the Rocky BOY band. called on
The Big Stick during the week 10
air their grievances against Indian
Commissioner Leupp. Ugh!
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

From the Louisville Courcr-Journal.
Upon investigation. we find that Mr..
Carnegie is not in any danger He has
the diplodoccus. which. at first glance.
appears pathological. but is really zoo
logical
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
That's Too obvious.

From the Augusta Herald.
A Trenton. n J., man asks for d.
vorce on the ground that he was crazy
when he married. II the courts so to
issuing divorces or that ground. the grist
OF the divorce n,sl would be tremendously
increased.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
PonuInr PulImnns

From the Norfolk yirginian- Pilot
Since the Pullman car Is the only place
on the train where the Virginian can
lawfully take a snifter, the demand for
seats IN those palatial compromises with
comfort has trebled. The trust ought 90
give Messrs. Byrd and Mann free privi-
leges for life
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

Democracy has its own way Of reach
Ing every desirable goal,' says the Mem
phis Commercial-Appeal. 1t seems TO
employ ways not to reach them, as a
rule hoWever
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

The main difference between long
session and a short session Of Congress
is the amount OF the average daily ex-
pendIture OF Uncle Sans money.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

A st. Louis undertaken gives a box OF
cigars with every coffin purchased. The
recipients doubtless ind some consolation
in the thought that, after all, there are
worse things than dying.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

The report that Mrs. Hetty Green re-
Gently gave a dinner costing $50 per plate
leads one irresstibly 10 wonder what
frenzied game that erstwhile supremacy
cautious lady is up against at last.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

Alabama claims to be getting some
thing like million a month from North
ern and Eastern peach-lovers Just about
now. The North and East do not mind.
however. The peaches are worth the
money.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
no BE CONTINUED

Anticipation runs not. we are sure.
at the announcement that the next
chapter in this sensational serial
viii be contributed by Mr. L. White
Busbey. Before NJ. Busbey went
automobilinE with Mr. Cannon lie
conhded his priceless Ms. 10 our
care. and we are constrained 10 say
that no one can possibly imagine the
thrilling surprises. the fine literary
quality Of next weeks instaliment.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
The spring Deluge.

Il had a delightful talk with the gov
ernor Of the State"
Enjoyed It. eh?"
Yes; he didn't want to sell me a ticket
for anything"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

From the Kansas City Times
The street car conductor who hit a
passenger may have been merely follow
ing out the Metropolitan's well-knovn
theory that every little bit helps.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06
Nisldedfor
thsUplih.
UNDER LETTERS OF MAROUE.
A STORY BY TWELVE AUTHORS.

, and it means riches and fame for
both Of US Listen-it is Next week,
Tuesday. John -
She was interrupted by the notes
Of a bugle, that sounded from the
hiu.
1t Is the Tadkins tho. fear.
she said.
Even as she spoke there sprang
from a clump Of alders close by the
dwarf. whom. in earlier days. had
soaked with the green umbrella.
Mount and fly" Re cried. There
is 10 time 20 lose"
Assisting my lady 70 her horse. !
followed suit. and would have ridden
away. but even then the bugle struck
up a peculiar tune. and both horses.
rearing on their hind legs. began 10
90 a cakewalk.
The dwarf wrung his hands in de-
SPAR.
save yourselfr' / cried.
But even az the word q shot rang
out. and the dwarf fell. a quivering
heap. 10 the earth.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

The Richmond Tlmes-Dispatch is wor-
ried because the worlds supply Of coal
will last only 200 years. The I'D. is for
tunate II it is able 10 postpone all of it's
coal worry for 200 years.
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

Now they say that every woman has
ten distinct personalities"
Don't let my wife hear that"
Why not?"
She'll demand hat for each OF them
personalities"
The Washington herald. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1906-1939, 1908-06-06

A Kentucky minister troubles himself
to inform the people of Washington that
Kentuckians are not as black as they
have sometimes been painted. We found
that out long ago.