davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25
A Redeemino Trait.

There was one good thing about Adam and Eve"
 What was that?"
 When they were in Eden they did not send out any souvenir postals.
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25
Try Murine Eye Remedy

For Red. Weak. Weary, WatesTry Eyes. Murine Doesn't Smart-Soothes Eye Pam; Ifl Druggists Sell Murine at 5oets ! | he ,,B IS 4s Page Book in each Pkg. Is worth Dollars in every home Ask your Druggist.
 Murine Eye Remedy Co.,, Chicago.
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25
The Very Way.

q don't understand an expression in the book I have been reading, pa; how do you get over the bay
 By taking a schooner, my daugh- ter"
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25
Get This into Your Noodle.

The farmer was in store one rainy day He had made a purchase and as he put some change back into his pocket nickel fell to tn, floor and was rolling under a table when he suddenly slapped his foot on the coin and stopped il where he could get it. That was a very sensible thing to do
 The same farmer keeps quite d bunch of cattle and hogs That same rainy day there was large manure pile back of his barn and some of it was being washed down the hill into a gully and carried off to the river. Not only a nickel. but many dollars were rolling down the hill every time it rained and he never attempted to stop the loss Could he afford the loss9 No, though his farm was by no means in need of commercial fer tilizer Southwestern Farmer.
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25

No man prospers in this world by uck unless if be the luck of getting up early, working hard and maintain ing honor and integrity Ward Baecher
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25

Don't think of any such foolish thing IS completely quitting cotton. Cotton is one of the best crops the entire South ever planted. It is the abuse of the cotton system. and not the planting Of this great crop. that has been all wrong The way to do it is simply chis: Plant plenty of other things to run the place and have seine for the market. then plant all the cotton yon can reasonably care for.
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25

Manure never contains a larger amount of fertility than when it is fresh. The sooner it is carried out and applied the better.
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25
RS St0ufach Cata,7h

Some people are thin and always re- main thin, from temperamental req sons. Probably in such cases nothing can be done to change this personal peculiarity.
 But there are a large number of peo- pie who get thin, or remain thin, who naturally would be plump and fieshy but for some digestive derangement.
 Thin people lack in adipose tissue.
 Adipose tissue is chiefly composed of fat.
 Fat is derived from the oily constit- uents of food.
 The fat-making foods are called by the physiologist, hydrocarbons. This class Of foods gre not digested in the stomach at all. They are digested in the duodeaum, the division of the ali mentary canal just below the stomach.
 The digestion of fat is mainly, if not wholly, the work of the pancreatic juice. This juice is of alkaline reac- tion, and Is rendered inert by the addi- lion of acid. A hyperaeidity of the digestive fluids of the stomach passing down into the duodenum, destroys the pancreatic fluid for digestive pur- poses. Therefore, the fats are not di- gested or emulsined, and the system is deprived of it's due proportion of oily constituents. Hence, the patient grows thin.
 The beginning of the trouble is ca tarrhal condition of tho stomach which causes hyperaeidity of the gastric juices. This hyperacidity is caused by fermentation of food in the stomach. When the food is taken into the stom- ach, if the process of digestion does not begin immediately, acid fermenta- tion will take place. This creates hyperaeidity of the stomach juices which in their turn prevent the pan creatic digestion of the oils, and the cancellation results.
 A dose of Pefuna before each meal hastens the stomach digestion. By hurrying digestion, Peruna prevents fermentation of the contents of the stomach, and the pancreatic juice is thus preserved in its normal state. It then only remains for the patient to eat 2 sufficient amount of fat-forming foods, and the thinness disappears and plump ness takes its place.
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25

Every good Union mans place is a little better kept than ttut of the non-union brother This is one ot the signs you know them by.
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25
Important to Mothers.
Life's Foolish Period.

About the time boy commences to think about smoking, a girl com mences to think about flirting.
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25

Fruit jars are mighty cfeap now, compared to the cost of doctors, to say nothing of the comfort of we'll stored larder.
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25

Those who await 10 gifts of chance have conquered fate.-Norton.
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25
VETERAN OF THREE WARS.
A Pioneer of Colorado and Nebraska.

Matthias Campbell, veteran of the Civil War and two Indian wars. and
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25

Honest lnjup how many people have this month!
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup. For children teethng softens the gums reduces tn hammstion slays pain, cures wind colic 25c bottie
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25

Some farmers are smaller potatoes than they raise.
The Monticellonian., 1908-06-25

Facts do the best talking. show tbat the Union is making a better man Of
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
Bryan's Sweet Sinoer.

While the treasurer of the Demo-
cratic party listens to the jingle of
the dimes and dollars he composes
lyrics. 1t is said that he is depended
upon by the candidate to supply him
with plaintive melodies guaranteed to
reach and to teach the masses. When
the dollars are not running in such a
stream as to distract the treasurer he
gets en- rapport with, the muse of mel
ody and then from his quarters come
enchanting strains. Those about his
locality are caught with the sweet
pleas for the support of the twice
tried and willing Willie.
The newspaper men have their souls
tuned to the enchanting strains, as
they are the dog" on which the songs
of the inspired minstrel of the re-
doubtable nopinee are tried. Mr..
Bryan has the full paraphernalia of a
touring candidate in search of a job.
His one-night stands will be enlivened
by the dulcet strains of the song that
tells of his weariless wandering to-
ward the White House. There is no
doubt about Mr.. Bryan's ability to se-
cure cheap attractions from dollar
dinners to dime ditties.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
BRYAN'S PET THEORY
BANK GUARANTEE SCHEME
SHOWN TO BE DEFECTIVE.
Institutions Would Be Unable to Rea-
lize on Assets in Times of Panic
Latest of Commoner's Hob
bies Proven Impractical.

During his extended career as a
statesman of presidential aspirations
Mr.. Bryan has shown a remarkable
facility for taking up with theories in
statescraft, the crudeness and imprac-
ticability of which have been easily
demonstrable. And concerning his
free coinage of silver and his govern
ment ownership of railroads hobbies
the demonstrations seem to have
been plain enough to convince even
himself of their erroneous assump-
tions, as there is not a word in the
latest Bryan platform advocating
either of these aforetime Bryan doc
trines. But in the Oklahoma scheme
to have the state create and maintain
a special fund for the guarantee of de-
posits in banks Mr.. Bryan felt so sure
that he had at last come across some
thing of high political value and a
scheme, moreover, that would stand
the severest scrutiny that he adopted
it and had it incorporated in the Den
yer platform.
In less than two months following
the formal adoption by the Democratic
presidential candidate of this new
scheme of finance it has been reduced
to an absurdity by more than one
method of analysis In Oklahoma.
where the plan is now operative and
applicable to all state banks, the fol-
lowing facts indicative of it's defective
ness have become apparent: The Ok
lahoma law provides that the fund
created for the protection of bank de-
positors shall be invested in state Sc
curities known as state warrants,
which bear three per cent. interest an
nually. Now it has developed with a
clearness which is apparent to the
most casual observer that the state, in
time of panic, when it would be abso-
lutely necessary to have the guaran-
tee fund ready and available, will find
itself loaded up with form of securi-
ty which would find no sale whatever
on the market during panicky times
except at a ruinous discount Banks
fail generally because they are unable
to realize upon their assets, and Okla
homa, loaded up with it's own prom
ises to pay, would not in panic sea-
son be able to turn those promises into
cash.
AS a national system, instead of a
state system, the bank guarantee
scheme is equally defective, though
for other reasons. The palpable fact
that it would tax the conservatively
managed. savings banks and conserva-
tive institutions generally to make
good the losses sustained by depos-
itors in banks associated with specu-
lative interests is alone sufficient to
condemn the latest of Mr.. Bryans po-
litical hobbies.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
CARRIED GESTURE TOO FAR.
Boys Action Possibly Appropriate
But Somewhat Unnecessary.

Vivian Burnett, the original Of the
still-remembered Little Lord Fauntle
roy, at the Chicago convention dis
cussed with reporter a certain party
maneuver.
"They went too far there" said Mr..
Burnett. "They made themselves
ridiculous by their excess. Do you
know what they reminded me of
They reminded me of juvenile elo
cutionist my mother often tells about
This lad, at school treat, got up
to recite the first piece of his life. He
was ambitious; he wished to make a
great success Of his piece; and he had
been told by his teacher that the Sc
cret of elocution was the gesture-fnJ
every phrase its fitting gesture.
"The opening line of the boys Sc
lection was The comet lifts its tail
of fire.
"The overzealous boy, to fit its prop
er gesture to this line, lifted up the
tail of his coat and held it out in q
horizontal position"
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
Mr.. Bryan and Radicalism.

Owing to the pernicious activity of
President Roosevelt, radicalism has
gained a stronghold in the ranks of
the Republican party, and as Mr..
Taft has declared unqualified adher-
ence to the doctrines and policies of
Mr.. Roosevelt, Mr.. Bryan finds him
self on common ground with his op-
ponent. Instead of being called upon
to defend his views, he now makes ci-
tations from the statements and ut
terances of Mr.. Roosevelt and Mr..
Taft in support of his contentious.
And this he does in the cleverest
and most adroit manner, using the
remarks of his opponent and the pres.
ent occupant of the presidential
chair as a basis for sweeping ar
raignment and indictment of the party
in power. In thus training the guns
of his political opponents on them
selves he shows that he is dialec-
tician of the highest order. Despite
the nature of his logic, however, we
doubt that intelligent voters are any
more ready to accept him for the
presidency than they were eight and
IL years ago.-New York Financial
Chronicle.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
The Verdict of Business.

The business world is for Taft with
Ineligible unanimity. South and
north the thrush of business judg-
ment is that Taft is sane and safe
progressive but not radical, modern
but not reactionary. The mail that
pours into Judge Taft's hopper is big
with Democratic assurances that
south and north the men who first do
things with their minds irrespective
of party, will vote for Taft as they
have twice voted for Roosevelt.
Maryland will surely sidestep Bryan.
There is one contested section-the
middle west Bryan's defeat next
November will be more overwhelming
than it was in November, 1900-
Lewiston Journal.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
THREE CURES OF ECZEMA.
Woman Tells of Her Brothers Terrible
Suffering-Two Babies Also Cured
-Cuticura Invaluable.

my brother had eczema three diff
ferent summers. Each summer it came
out between his shoulders and down
his back, and he said his suffering
was terrible. When it came on the
third summer, he bought box of
Cuticura Ointment and gave 1t faith
full trial. Soon he began to feel better
and he cured himself entirely of &C.
zema with Cuticura- A lady in In
diana heard Of how my daughter
Mrs. Miller, had cured her little son
Of terrible eczema by the Cuticura
Remedies. This lady's little one had
the eczema so badly that they thought
they would lose it She used Cuti-
cura Remedies and they cured her
child entirely, and the disease never
came back. Mrs. Sarah e. Lusk, Cold.
water. Mich, Aug. 15 and Sept. 2. 1907"
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
BRYAN AND THE FARMERS.
Prospect of "Free Wool" Not AllurIng
to Western Rancher.

The Democratic plank promising "a
reduction of the tariff upon the neces-
saries of life" seems to us harmless,
even admirable, but it is loaded and
aimed at the heart which beats for the
poor farmer The above simple phrase
being translated into a shorter and
uglier form spells free WOOL" and
that means the enmity of that class
for whose pennies Mr.. Bryan made
such heart to heart appeal the other
day. 1t is all right in the east to crush
the wicked combination of wool buy
ers who are keeping down the price of
the farmers wool, and keeping up the
price of the peoples clothes But in
the west this means the annulment of
the sacred clause putting up the price
of the farmers sheep.
Did not the census of sheep show a
falling off of ten millions during the
last Democratic administration, and
has the poor farmer yet recovered
from that massacre of the innocent
sheep, like that now prepared for him
self to make a Bryan holiday? Has
not the price of Territory, best fine
staple, clean," risen from 80 cents to
60 cents under Republican administra-
ton, and shall the hands af the clock
be turned backward? In other words.
will the farmer chip in for Bryan and
free wool? We trow not Bryan and
ruin look alike to the western
rancher, and he would rather vote for
the Old Boy himself.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
Mo Automobiles There.

There are no automobiles on the
golden streets of heaven" says the
Whitsett Courier, but they're Civ
ing lots of folks chance to walk
those golden streets. One of the
contraptions arrived in town last week
and during the first spin the owner
took in it it pitched a blind mule on
top of the town hall, with the man
that was ridin' the mule. The mule
was so mad it kicked the town clock
to pieces, likewise kckin' a hole in
the roof an fallin' on the mayor, just
as he had took his seat an called
council to order. Having landed in
the midst of them, the mule walked
slow and dignified to the front door
an then took to the woods"
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
Just Wanted to Try II.

Farmer John left home one morning
and waited at the station for the linn
tied. He climbed aboard and shambled
into the smoker.
Mister" he drawled when the con-
ductor halted before him, "is that thar
2-cent-a-mile rate good on this train?"
ut is" replied the conductor brusque-
ly. where is your ticket?"
The old man fumbled in the depths
of an ancient shotbag
''Ain't got no ticket, mister" ~ he
said slowly, "but here be two cents. h
never rode on one of these posky fly
ers and just want to feel the sensa-
tion. Put me off after I've rode Cd 70
mile"
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
Information Wanted.

A court, prisoner, a purloined
watch, country jury. The evidence
as to whether the prisoner had stolen
the watch was very conflicting. AS the
jury retired to consider their verdict
the judge remarked that he would
willingly give them any advice they
wished on any point in the case that
puzzled them.
Eleven jurors solemnly filed out, but
the twelfth hung back, perplexity writ
ten large on his countenance.
rs there any question you wish to
ask me before you retire?" asked the
judge kindly.
The mans face frightened.
Eyes, yer Honor" he replied. eag-
erly, "Wot l wants to know is whether
e really did steal the watch!"
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
They All Want 1t.
Harris,H

"The late Joel Chandler Harris,~
said an Atlanta clergyman, used to
laugh at the way everybody seemed to
want free advertisement of some
sort from the editor. 1t was the same,
he would say, with the physician
everybody wants free advice on the
health question from him.
81 once heard him tell about an edi-
tor who served ten days in Jail for
kicking the mayor The warden
treated him very kindly, and at the
ten days end, escorting him to the
door and shaking him by the hand
said:
"'Well, good-by and good luck, ed.
And say, would you mind giving tho
Jail a puff?.'"
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12

The wheat crop this year was cut
snort In many portions of the limited
states either by climatic conditions or
insect attacks. and the 1908 fall sown
wheat is certain to bring good price
ON the market, especially in this west
ern country. Secure your seed wheat
now. If you have not good quality
seed. consult your local miller and
learn who has the best neighborbood
wheat. The writer knows of nothing
yet which surpasses Turkey Red
Those above the ditch are urged to
use for seed only that wheat which
has been grown for several seasons
within that environment.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
The Hurry Fad.

"Mr. Cleveland" said a Princeton
lecturer, had little sympathy with the
rush and hurry that the American bust
ness man so complacently affects-no
sympathy with train and boat dicta-
tion, with the lunch table telephone,
the letter phonograph, and the other
bluffs"
Don't rush so,' Mr. Cleveland once
said to me. Lightning might do q
great deal more if it wasn't always In
such an awful hurry"
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
Taft as PEOPLES Proxy.

"Shall the people rule?" thunders
Mr.. Bryan. They shall, Peerless Lead
er; they shall. And in the opinion of
the gentlemen who hypothecate large
sums of money on election PROPOSE
tions a considerable plurality of them
will vote for Taft as their proxy.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
Proctor's Retort.

The late Senator Hoar of Massachu.
setts was one of the most benevolent
looking old gentlemen who ever sat in
Congress, but he said pretty sharp
things now and then in debate.
Why" he explained one day, mo
man in Vermont is allowed to vote un-
less he has beaten Massachusetts peo-
pie out of $4,000 trading horses"
and we all vote" beloved Sena-
tor Proctor of Vermont.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
When Parker Ran

Alton b. Parker assures a Cali
fornia reporter that the Democrats
are alive and very much alive" Mr.
Parker could make it interesting by
explaining the moribund condition of
the party when he ran for president.
st. Louis Globe Democrat.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
The Rude Awakening.

A Missouri man is winning notice
by dreaming that Mr.. Bryan will land
in the White House. this time. How
remarkably like Mr.. Bryan this man
is, and the similarity is carried to the
point where they both wake up. also.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12

Before proclaiming that there will
be no "big stick" in evidence in the
event of his election Mr.. Bryan should
have consulted the people. Many of
them seem to like the big stick idea.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
Danger In New York Roads.

There is an average of seven car
collisions day on the steam, subway,
elevated and surface railways of New
York.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12

One difference between a man and
mule is that the man does the most
of his kicking with his mouth.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12
Your Druggist VIII Tell You

That Murine Eye Remedy Cures Eyes
Makes Weak Eyes Strong. Doesn't Smart
Soothes Eye Pain and Cells for SOC.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12

Mrs. winslow's Soothing syrup.
For children teethng softens the gums, reduces IN
nammation allays pain cures wind colo. Csc bottle
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12

Aliens Foot-Ease, Powder
torswollen, sweating feet. Gives instant relief Th
original powder for the feet. 25c at all Druggist
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12

Labor rids us of three great evils;
poverty, vice and ennui.-Voltaire.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12

Pretty teeth are responsible for q
good many smiles.
The Colorado statesman., 1908-09-12

The man who pays his debts is true
to his trust.
Warren sheaf., 1908-11-19
Grocery Department.

Best canned corn, regular 15c o.
sale price ...... s. ~. OG
Finest June peas, worth regular 15c lfla
a can sale price s.ss. +. .=.. 5..a 1OG
Baking powder, Royal and Calumet, l0A
worth regular 25c and 5Oc trustee S SALE l0C
White Lily washing soap regular sc -
per bar, sale price .s,... :. u
Naphtha soap, regular &c per bar ~
trustees sale price ~
A fine raisin, worth regular l5c o.
per h., sale price per 10. ........ .OG
Crackers boxes not broken, o.
The best tomato that money can buy, IN
worth regular 18c, trustees sale price uOC
A good coffee, worth regular 15c per &l m
h., sale price 10 lbs for. 41sUU
Sugar, if you buy 5. 90 worth of any a m
merchandise 20 lbs. for a .@s. SIS. 9UsOO
Good string beans, worth regular 15c Or
sale price, 2 cans for. 4, ZOG
81 a good plug tobacco, regular 4Oc per q
lb., sale price s. ~. -. q OG
Gloss starch, worth regular lOc q.
sale price per lb. 3. 8. - s.. o.
Warren sheaf., 1908-11-19
Dry Goods Bargains.

The entire stock of ready -to-wear garments for
women and children including Skirts, Coats,
Ladies' and Children's Furs, Waists, Shawls,
etc. all to be sacrificed at this Trustees Sale.
Outing flannel, regular 10c grade, o.
trustees sale price .:....... .:.,....... VI
The best outing flannel worth regular a.
123 and 15c, sale price, per yard. OC
The best ginghams, worth regular 1Oc a
trustees sale price, per yard. .........U "
All prints, worth regular Sc and 10c -
trustees sale price, per yard. ........ "
Dress goods fine luster worth regular 90
85c, sale price, per yard O0C
A fine mohair worth regular 90c, %
trustees sale price. ....s........ ...OOC
A fine voi worth regular 1.25 S0A
trustees sale price, per yard. ...s..... .OOO
All wool dress goods, worth regular H.
100, sale price per yard ... ~
Warren sheaf., 1908-11-19
Men 5, Ladies and Chill
dren's Shoes. 4.

Men S shoes, worth regular q 80, q IN
trustee sale price. s. l1s1
Mems shoes, worth regular 2. 50 and Gi 70
3.00 trustee sale price 80. D. ~. ul10s
3 Mems shoes, worth regular 4 SO and & -
5.OO trustees sale price o. ..... So. 7. 0sef3
Ladies' shoes, the regular 2.25 and 81 20
2.50, trustees sale price D. lsstO
Ladies' shoes, regular $50 and - -
4.OO trustee S sale price,. .s. s. SpksakI III
Children's shoes, regular .25 and 00>
1.5O, sale price. Q. 8. SIS o.
Boys rubbers, with heels the regular o.
1.50 sale price. o.
regular 2 50 grade, sale price splaO0
Warren sheaf., 1908-11-19

This greatest Sales will SATURDAY, NOV. 21st 1908, at
the the Golden Rule
will be gala Come and bring the children Ralr Fares paid
Of $500 Come prepared
this
avalanche goods clothing ladies furnishings
a