The Lexington intelligencer. [volume] (Lexington, Mo.) 1901-1949, 1908-04-25
WHEN ALBERT
PROPOSED
be Tned It at the Wrong TIme.

With every desire to be temperate
in my language and charitable IN my
thoughts, truth compeis me to the
statement that Nellie Putlow's young
est brother-Albert Sidney Putlow-
is a boy who wiz one OF these days
come to a bad end.
To know Albert Sidney-to know
him thoroughly--is an education in ju
yenile ~depravity, a lesson in tabloided
iendishness. Hes right enough super
ficially, mind you, but when you get at
the soul Of the boy your faith in the
innocence and h~armlessness of juve-
nifty generally is gone forever. It
was last Christmas eve when l probed
the depths Of Master Putlow. I'll tell
you in what circumstances.
For very good reasons l wished to
secure freedom from Albert Sidney's
attentions on the evening in question.
| felt, somehow, that the task Of ask
ing his sister Nellie a certain little
question would not be made easier in
any way by having her young brother
buzzing around offering to regulate my
watch or exhibiting some homemade
marvel In the clockwork mouse line.
Master Putlow, l may tell you, is a
prodigy in a mechanical direction.
When other small boys are learning
to play football he is iddling about
with spur wheels; when they are
dreaming of getting their International
caps Albert Sidney's sleep is punctu-
ated with visions of cogs, ratchets and
perpetual motion.
"Tll have none Of him." thought |
and during the afternoon l sent around
with my best wishes for a happy
Christmas, a book calculated to keep
any other nine-year-old boy as quiet
as an oyster till each of its $40 pages
had been dogs cared as black as coal
In the evening | called round Mel
lies father and mother were, as
expected, out on a Santa Claus excur
sion to their married daughters. "Al
bert's at his book, l suppose?" l re
marked, when l was asked into the
front parlor.
NO" said Nellie; hes doing some
thing to a Waterbury watch in tn,
back, Been busy all day. Look here,
pointing to an old-fashioned clocl
fixed to the wall. He unearthed tina,
from the lumber room three days ago
1t hasn't been going for ten year.
and he's cleaned 1t, put 1t In order
and fixed 1t up as a surprise for dad
It's going splendidly."
OF course didn't mind a little bl
about the book not claiming the boy
attention. So long as he was occupied
elsewhere l was perfectly satisfied
We talked about nothing in particu
lar for five minutes, then | braced my
self up for the ordeal. Nellie was II
the rocker and l was on the saddlebaI
lounge by her side. 1t was then o
never.
Nellie" I whispered, glancing a
my cuff, OF which l had penclled m
! headings, Nellie, l have long"
"Whirr!"
} She looked up, not at me, but at tn
clock. "It's going to strike" she SAID
"Bong!" The thing had a note lik
Big Ben.
Il have long"
"Bong!" Better jump in at the in
tervals,' thought l, for anybody woul
have needed a megaphone to max
himself heard above that din lion
felt that life"
"Bongl" Isn't it splendid?" Nelll
, smiled.
. l decided to wait till the awful thin
had finished. "Bongl bong! bong
bong! bong!" At the eighth stroke
gave a sigh of relief and started agar
8 Il have long"
"Bong!" That's too many" sal
q Nellie. What are you saying?"
"Bongl"
"Bongl"
l was losing patience with that lun
e ber-room find. 1t o~ccasioned me n
I surprise that the clock was somewhs
erratic after master Putlow's after
lions, but that 1t should seize Just ths
particular time to exhibit its vagarie
Y annoyed me, Never mind" though
0 ut can't strike more than 12."
/ had altogether underestimated II
capabilities. When l had counted
whirrs and bongs, Nellie started laugl
Y ing. walked to the door and called I
Albert Sidney.
a He came, bringing an odor Of cloc
oil into the room.
> Something's the matter with this
. clocks striking gear" l said, wit
forced calmness.
4 Been strikin' long?" he asked.
! That's the seth time" I answere
as another "Bong!" set all the ma
4 tel-shelf ornaments dancing.
o Albert Sidney whistled. Thought
/ might go like that" he grinned. Goo
, clocks often do. 1t hasn't struck Il
! ten years, you see, and now 1t won
stop till it's done all its back striking
Great Jupiter! A lightning calculate
9 told me that, roughly speaking, $4,000
bongs were overdue. At four 10 IL
o minute 1t would be some time In ADJ
2 before that awful clock was -un-to-da+