Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-10-30

down."-Birmlngham Age-Herald.
Seems to me you look younger than
ever" why not? AS l grow older |
become more ana more expert in avoid
ing uble."-Life.
Nell-Maude has lost a good friend
In Jack. Belle-Why, have they quar-.
relied? Nell-No, they are married.
Philadelphia Record.
The Questioner-I hear his wife ia
a brunette, but | thought he married
a blonde. The Joker-He did, but she
dyed.-IIouston Post.
Gabbleby-After all, woman's
scream Is her greatest weapon of de-
fense. Gertrude Undoubtedly; how
did you find 1t out?-Puck
Mistress-Brldget, it always seems to
me that the crankiest mistresses get
the best cooks Cook-Ah, go on wild
yer blarney Town Topics.
The Boy (fervently)-You are the
first and only girl | ever loved, Ethel
She-Ah, what lots Of fun you have
ahead OF you, Freddy London Opin.
ion.
He-A fellow told me yesterday he
thought l was such bright fellow.
She-That's an awfully bad habit. He
What Is? She-Talking to yourself
Life.
lliX-I always have DR.. Emdee.
When my motherin-law was at deaths
door he pulled her through Dix
Which way did he pull her?-St. Louis
Republic.
who's your Ideal of braveryP"
queried the old bachelor as 1t Cen
eral Kurok?" NO" answered the
spinster, desperately. Its Mormon"
The Taller.
You never saw man who under
stood women well, knew a man
once who claimed that he did" "And
did he" "Well, he never married one"
Houston Post.
Nell don't suppose Mr.. Sillicus
has any vices. Belle-Vices? Why, he
belongs to glee club, an amateur the
atrical society, and writes poetry
Philadelphia Record.
Tonsorial Expert (cuttlng colored
mans hair) r)-'Rastus, your hair is just
like wool. Rastus yoh didn't
spect to cut silk fo' fifteen cents did
vou?-lIarper's Weekly
Jim (regardlng damage done to
church by fire)-Good job it wasn't
factory, Bill. Hill-YOu're right, mate.
Only one man put out of work, and he
draws his moncy.-Pmch.
The Boss-Whats that? Office Boy
I says, you better send out and git
a half dozen boys to do my work to-
day; I'm going to be sick about three
O'Clock !-IIarpcr's Bazaar
Yes; | am going abroad" "And
how are you going to arrange your itln-
erary| "Oh, pompadour. think
that will be most suitable for travel
ing."'-Washington Herald.
Sambo-De doctor tells me dat ter
eat six watermllons at one time would
sho' kill me. Rambo-An' what you
gwine do bout it? Sambo-I gwine ter
die game New York Tribune.
Suppose women should vote. What
would be the result?" "Oh, don't
know" answered Mr. Sirius Barker,
petulantly. perhaps we'd have hand
painted ballots. s."-Washington Star.
Simklns-You say that little man
was formerly the lightweight cham
pion? TimlSins Yes. Simklns-Uow
did he lose the title? Timkns-Oh, he
didn't lose it. He merely sold his gro
Gerry and retired-Chlcago Daily News.
Customer (polnting to the hiero-
glyphlcs on his check is that my
name In Chinese? Go Long (Chinese
lalndryman)-No; 'scliption. Means
"liP ole man; cross-eyed; no teet',"
Customer-Er-thank you.-New York
Globe.
Il suppose" said the facetlous stran-
ger, watching workman spread car
pet from the church door to the curb,
that's the high road to heaven you're
fixing there" NO" replied the man,
"thls is merely bridal th."-Phila-
delphla Press.
Professor Stone-To the geologist a
thousand years or so are not counted
as any time at all. Man in the Audi
ence-Great Scott And to think |
made temporary loan Of ten dollars
to a man who holds such views -
Philadelphia Inquirer
Mrs. EXe-Good-by. I'm sorry my
husband isn't In. | wish knew some
way Of keeping him mt home little
more. Mrs. Wye-Let him buy n mo-
tor car. Mrs. EXe-Why, he'd be out