Evening journal., 1908-02-28
Personal and Pertinent

once upon time there was man who, having gam
bled r the Street played the races gone up in bal
loon, travelled to the Yukon other adventur-
Gus things. decided that he would raise family
Il WISH he said, ito hear the pater Of little
the stairway TO tell fairy stories nthe cleaning have
chubby hands in mine, and all the other accessories
Before doing So however, will examine specimen
american family, which, believe the latest and best
example Of the art Of civilization"
So he called On a. friend who had one
rhe latest dea' said the proudly 's to bring
up your children on an equality We conceal nothing
information. This is Bessie my 14-year-od."
Have you rta6 this article sex? asked Bessie
gudly after shak hands Really it is very crude
could write better one myself. It's pathology la
100 ihsi BdBbe my 1Oyearold volunteered the hannv
tather bring forward number two "Bobbie shake
hands"
"The old gentleman there" he said INSISTS on intro
ducng me to every Sorry 1 can't stay and give
you views the conduct the Administration but
have date with vaudeville queen Get bed early
you SIT up late you're irritable breakfast and your
manners simply unbearabe At your time Of life
there ought 70 be nothing doing at ALL
This said the father more rs my little 4-year-
old the epple OF my eye. Here, Mildred. dear"
GO way" said Mildred, shaking her curls You're
boun6er-any man with waistcoat like that is Now
papa" sne ADDED. don't scold, have a right to
say lust what YOU and mamma say-isnt it taught
But the waited to hear no more Two hours
later he was seen by private detective in real
estate Office signing ten-year lease for bachelor
apartment'-Harper's Weekly
You know that bunch Of cact at the end Of that little
plaza in suisun| inquired guest the St Francis
addressing Rey Baker Of Coldheld,
Never Been in Susun."
We'll it's bout big round as those two pavennorts
and bout sc high, and as thick with brses as an un-
Yes I've seen cactus galore"
But this bunch was planted by fellow named Louis
Fierce kind OF the whole thing up there in susun one
night was up there. Saturday night too Big fellow
had awfdl sizz backed into the cactus Came
back into tho bar and said Shay ger Won
tanythngs good fer zuh prok-ly heat9 got priclS
neat or hVes or sumthin; feels like thousand needles
stickin me all up an zoun zuh back Feel ali strcls
francisco
IF hadn't had this would have been Killed. s.,a
Dr Horny Austnger sixty OF Bridgeport Conn proudlV
asasirg rabbits foot last night Fifteenth street
and Seventh avenue
The physician had been visiting friends As he start,
ed Tor err 90 the corner ne slipped and fell receiving
an ugly cut over the left eye When Policeman Kerr
mis- pocket
I've carried this for nve years and have never met
injury.-New York World 49,"
Mandy young colored girl fresh from the cotton
fields Of the South one afternoon she came to her
Northern mistress and handed her a visiting card
De lady wha gibe dis is in de pa'lor" she ex
planned "Deys annodder lady on de do'step"
Gracious Mandy exclaimed the mistress why didn't
you ask potn OF them to come n?"
kase, ma'am" grinned the girl de one on de dosten
done forsit her tieket."-Brookyn Life
The wonders photography are ever on the increase
Nevertheless there are still limitations TO the power
anr skin Of even the most expert photographer.
Mr. Hall Is amateur Of no mean attainments ana
when his OLD Aunt Hannah from Bushby came down 10
the city he secured picture of her most charao
teristic pose-arms akimbo and mouth slightly omen
When Aunt Hannah the print she looked AZ II
held It on drew close again then down TO write
her nephew. ~ 'e
Dear James" write the old lady yours with photo.
graph taken during my late just received I'm reniv
wonld say I'm well enough pleased with II FOR myself
ana your folks But in the you out to Cafornia
10 Emma Ia rather you'd straghten my elbows and
&c. en- my arms m nahs' Anecuonately Aunt Hannah
r. s-Pethaps you'd better close my mouth a mit,
more as Ernnas husband is a stranger to me"-Youtb,
Companion. ~
An agrsculturist whose beard both long AM
gray, aud who never before thirty miles fro,
his native farm calling relative at the latter
downtown Office when he concluded that he might q
well use the telephone journey away uptown He'd see
his relative work the phone, and he guessed hed d
some OF 4 himself bgosh.
He disappeared into the adjoining room for this labor
saving task BY and by he came back
Gosh durn IT," he complained, I can't get an
swer"
"Try again" said the relative-and accompanied th
old
The veteran agriculturist glued his mouth 10 th
phone and proceeded to blow for all his lungs wer
worth--New York Globe