davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Worms in Colts,

For intestinal worms in colts the
following mixture is used by some vet
erinarians: Mix together as base one
pound each of salt and granulated SUI
gar: in this mix one-haf pound of to-
bacco dust or fine cut tobacco, four
ounces of sulphate of iron powder. six
ounces of powered worm seed. Give n
heaping teaspoonful in the feed at first
once a day. then twice per day. and
keep it up for three weeks.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

your opponent" they told him, "is
going around the country and kissing all
the babies
That's an old dodge" said the candi-
date. Gentlemen, / shall do something
laundering sight better than that"
Here he brought his fist down on the
table with a bang
Il shall cause it to be published broad
cast that will marry the young woman
who brings out the biggest number Of
votes for me- BY the jumping jngo. I'll
wipe that baby kisser off the face of the
orth ~
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Fresh Eggs.

Secretary Wilson says that hereafter
eggs sold as fresh" or strictly fresh"
must be exactly what they are repre-
sented TO be. Storage eggs must be sold
as such, or under the pure food law the
dealer is liable to fine of $500 or six
months Imprisonment, or both. Thou
sands of people do not know how n
strictly fresh" egg tastes. This will
give them a chance to find out
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Unlucky Accident.

whats the trouble back there in the
sleeper?' asked the passenger in the
smoking car.
Little mixup between a New England
manufacturer and a Louisiana sugar
planter" said the agitated conductor. ap-
plying his handkerchief to divers and
sundry scratched places on his face. "They
happened to have berths in the same Sec
ton. and they got to talking about the
tariff"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Badly ftattIed.

The timid young woman, who had let
ters of introduction to the great man,
had ventured to call.
You are so busy. Judge" she said
that II hesitated about disturbing
you. How many-er-days in the work
do YOU week q
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

Terrified Passenger Ton ocean liner)-
Captain. why is the steamer going SO
slowly and using its searchlght?
Captain-Don't be alarmed madam !;
the ship is in no danger. But in a fog
like this we are always likely to run into
somebody's blooming old balloon and make
a nasty mess of it.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
In tho Mission Sunday School

Teacher-And what do you suppose
al the animals did during those forty
days in the ark?
Smarty Wiliams-They just loafed
around and scratched themselves
Sandy Toole (disdainfully)-Chuck
it, Smarty! What'd they scratch for,
when there was only two feas THE
Bohemian.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Collateral Evidence.

His indulgent grandmother had given
him half of custard pie.
You seem to like it, Tommy" she said
Like :" exclaimed Tommy, taking it
away from his face for moment, les
see how I'm mussin' up my ears Chi
cago Tribune.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Parallel Cnse.

my observation" said the sage. "leads
me to the conclusion that the more
wealth one gives away the more wealth
one has"
Its just exactly the same way with
KISSES" whispered one of his listeners. a
demure little miss who was sitting by a
big man with beard.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

place Il stone in front of the wheel,
50 that when the team draws the wa
won forward the wheel will be lifted
upward on the inclined beam. If the
incline is not to much the wagon will
not slip backward and the wheel will
be loose for oiling.-Farm and Home.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

while l was downtown" said Mrs
Lapsing, laying aside her wraps, 81 saw
d wonderful old violin in a music store.
The clerk said it was worth $1,000 1t
was a genuine Sardanapalus, and you
know that kind is getting very scarce
nowadays. Chicago Tribune.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Apartment House Amenities,

Third Floor Renter-When you buy
coffee why don't you have the grocer
grind it for you?
Fourth Floor Renter-When you buy
a chuck steak why don't you get the
butcher to hammer the daylights out of it
for you?
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

the painless" kind?
Mrs. OyIwell-Not at all. He's so
sympathetic that he says it hurts him
Just as much as it does me.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Reassurtng Him.

Madam" said the guard on the South
Side elevated, this is the smoking car"
That's all right, conductor said the
Don't apologize. | know it's dirty, but
one can't expect smoking car to be
front parlor. Chicago Tribune
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Wouldn't HeP

Somehow" said the political manager,
81 can't help wishing could get acquaint-
ed with the chap that held up those 125
travellers in Yellowstone park few days
ago. Wouldn't he be dandy collector
of campaign contributions !'-Chicago
Tribune
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

needs to be five feet four inches long,
and from the right end to the first pull
ley it Is just seven inches. This meas
urement is to tn center of the pulley,
From the center of the right pulley,
measure fifteen and one-quarter inches
and bore hole, which is where the
plough head clevis fastens. Now go
back to the extreme right end of the
stick and measure thirty and three
quarter inches. You then have the
place where the second pulley is to be
placed. This puts the two pulleys just
twenty-four inches apart. This COM
pletes all the measurements that need
to be accurate. At the left end, where
the left team Is hitched it is best to
bore about three holes, and you can
fasten the doubletrees in whichever
hole which seems best suited to the
team. Bore the first hole about two
and one-half inches from the end, then
go two inches and bore another, and
two inches from that, If a third hole is
wanted. This evener will work one
horse in the furrow and three on the
plough, and there will be no side draft.
Hitch the chain up pretty short so
there is not too much slack when turn
ing to the left, and hitch 1t to the
plough back about where the coulter
runs. or where experimenting tells you
Is the best place.-Montreal Star.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

"lf you wish to have everybody for
your friend" counseled her elderly ad-
wiser, don't be . taker; be listener"
1t was not until after she had secured
a job as telephone girl in the central Office
that she found out what a mistake she
had made in taking the advice literally
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Great ObiectOr.

Street Preacher-O, my friends, when
Gabriel blows his trumpet what will you
be doing?
Voice (from outskirts of crowd) -
Waiting for Montgomery Ward to serve
an injunction on him Chicago Tribune
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
jun ping at n Conclusion

What sort of play is this?' asked the
man who had just come in and taken his
seat
The question was answered by a man
named Olson, who l:ppened to be sitting
next to him.
SAY tank"
80, it's tank drama, is it?"-Chi.
cago Tribune.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

AON ARD E BURION.-Assayer arr Chemist.
~ Leadvie, Colorado Specimen prices: Gold,
Silver, l. ad, 81 Gold, Silver, 7jc Cold soc; Zinc or
Copper, 81. Cyanide tes;s Mailing envelopes and
full price list sent application. Control and IN
pre work solicited Reference; Carbonate Ma
tonal Bank
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Pou1try-HOuse Lice.

Turn out the fowls some days and
close all the cracks in the house eX-
cept the door Take a kettle of live
Goals, and place Oh the ground in the
center of the house. but if there is a
wood floor. lay a fiat stone under the
kettle. Throw a half pound or Il pound
Of sulphur on the Goals, and shut the
door. If the house is left closed for
few hours it is safe to conclude that
no lice or mites will be found therein
after the operation. The sulphur cure
is the best method of ridding poultry
houses of pests, but if the house is not
tight it will not prove satisfactory.
Clean the house as well as it can be
done, mix whitewash with fresh lime.
mix in liberal supply of sulphur, aft
er which throw sulphur into all the
cracks. Apply Kerosene oil to all the
roosts and burn off the outer surface.
Air the house oroughly.-Weekly
Witness.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
ExDIainfnn IT.

The tortoise had won the race.
81 didn't half try" said the hare, with
yawn. Whats the use? We're not
allowed to bet on races now, anyway"
From which it is apparent that the
real facts in the case were suppressed
Chicago Tribune.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Declared OF.

Said He-Darlng, we have been en-
gcped for six months. Don't you think
1t Is about time we were getting mar.
rled:
Said She-Well, I'm willing to be
married just as soon as you can pro
vide me with home.
Said He-That being the case, sup
pose l am to consider the engagement
broken.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

Mrs Highsome-Yes, he's the Duke of
Huffhouse. In speaking of him, you
know. of course, we use the term, his
grace
Mrs. Suddyn- -Klymer-His grace? Why,
he hasn't any. He's a regular lummix
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

"You may put that back in the show
case.' said the indignant Mrs. Lapslins
to the miliner. Il wouldn't even wear
much less buy, hat named in honor OF
that horrid murderess, Charlotte Cordu
roy p
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

In all probability the first admins
trative act of the first regular govern
metn was to number it's fighting men
and to ascertain as nearly as was pos
sible what amount of taxation could be
levied on the rest of the community.
AS human society grew more highly
organized there can be no doubt that a
very considerable body of official sta
tistics must have come into existence.
We know that such was the case in
Greece. Rome and Egypt, but it was
not until within the last two or three
formation available began for purposes
Of investigation rather than mere ad-
ministra tion.-New York American.
FITS st. vitus' Dance and ervous diseases perma-
III nently cured by DR.. ines GreGt Nerve Re.
sorer Send for FREE So 90 trial bottle and treatise
DR.. R. H. Kline. Id, 9S1 Arch St. Philadelphia Pa.
Stubb-That old Senator is always
telling ancient jokes and boasting of his
family tree.
Penn-H'm. I think his family tree
must have been a chestnut.
Futile.
Hamlet had finished his soliloquy, and
the curious bystanders were waiting to
see what he would do next.
NO" they said, at last He isn't
going to do it. He talks eloquently about
committing suicide, but be lacks the sand.
Nothing doing"
Thus it appears that the original Ham
let, like all his subsequent imitators, was
merely talking for effect.-Chicago Trib-
une.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

"Did those new grocers keep their prom
Use that they would cut your grocery bills
in half'?"
They did. They send their bills twice
a month."-Chicago Tribune.
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslow's Soothing
Syrup the best remedy to use fog their ch. ldr7 u
during the teething period.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

~ never saw anybody as cool, self
possessed, and quick to act in time Of
imminent danger as that man Globbs."
"Chauffeur?"
mo; just a common pedestrian"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
40, ,366 Testimonials

in two years, which prove it's wonderful
efficacy in purifying and enriching the
blood. Best for all blood diseases.
In usual liquid form or chocolated tablets
known as SarSatabS. 100 doses 81.
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

Build a grip of timber under a wa
gon and place upon it a heavy beam,
as shown in the sketch. Let this come
Just under the axle of the wagon. Then
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Point of View.

"What is the use," remarked the phlo-
sophical boarder, "of speculating concern
ing Immortality"
What's the use" broke in the sportive
boarder with the turned collar, "of specu.
latin in anything? You lose every time,
That's my experience"
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

One of the most common of blood dis
eases, is much aggravated by the sudden
changes of weather at this time of
year. Begin treatment at once with
Hoods Sarsaparilla, which effects rad
lcal and permanent cures. This great
medicine has received
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19
Makes One Execution.

"You're always kicking about our hav.
ing TOO many laws. | suppose you woul6
repeal the law of gravitation if you could
No; that's always rigidly enforced
Its only the dead letter laws I'm after
Heppner gazette. [volume] (Heppner, Morrow County, Or.) 1892-1912, 1908-11-19

illS nently cured by DR.. ines GreGt Nerve Re-
sorer Send for FREE So trial bottle and treatise.
DR.. 4. II. Kline. Id, 9Sl Arch St. Philadelphia Pa.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
Woman's Wit.

An emperor Of Germany besieged a
city which belonged to one of his rebel
lious noblemen. After the siege had
lasted for long time the emperor de-
termined to take it by storm and to de-
stroy all it contained by fire and sword.
He did not, however, wish to injure
the defenseless women; therefore, he
sent a proclamation into the town, say
ing that all the women might leave
the place unhurt and carry with them
whatever they held most precious. The
nobleman's wife instantly decided to
take her husband, and the other wO-
men followed her example. They soon
issued from the city gate in long pro-
cession, each one with her husband on
her shoulders. The emperor was SO
much struck with the noble conduct of
the women that he spared all; even the
city itself was left untouched.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
Toward the Pole.

Ice eight feet thick on the ocean and
snow falling even in summer-such is
the weather experienced in the polar
regions When the air is dry and still
it is remarkable how low a tempera-
ture can be borne with ease. One ex-
plorer tells us that with the thermome-
ter at 8 degrees it was too warm for
skating. The summer weather in this
region is, moreover, in some respects
pleasant and healthful. Within the
arctic zone there are wonderfully col
ored sunrises and sunsets to be seen.
They are both brilliant and impressive
But the nights-the nights are monot-
onous and repelling. A rigid world
buried in everlasting snow, silent save
for the cracking of the ice or the wall
of the wind Travellers in these re-
gions experience many discomforts.
The keen air causes their skin to burn
and blister, while their lips swell and
crack. Thirst, again, has been much
complained of, arising from the action
of the low temperature on the warm
body.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
Only Night Air at Night.

Speaking of Florence Nightingale
and her efforts to keep the world
healthy, it seems pertinent to make
special mention Of her mission in be
half of the open window at night. In
the early years of her labors much I'M
intelligent opposition to this method
of ventilation because of the supposed
harmfulness of the night air was ex-
pressed, but Miss Nightingale had one
stock argument in support of her posi-
ton, it being the question, What air
shall we breathe at night but night
air." 1t was unanswerable from her
opponents point Of view, even If it did
not, always convert them, but it did
lead a countless number into saner
ways OF living and along the way to
the present methods of treating tuber-
culosis Boston Transcript.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
The Quest of Truth.


It is a good deal easier to poke fun
at history than to write history merit
ing credence. Mr.. Bodley when writ
ing his France" experienced the force
of this in curious way. He shut
himself up in France for years to get
the atmosphere and the knowledge
necessary for his work One of his
trials arose over some question of elect
oral jurisprudence. 1t was not of in
ternational Importance, but still inter
esting to students of comparative pro-
cedure. Therefore he wrote to a dep
uty who is parliamentary expert to
clear up the obscurity in which the
text books involve the point and incor-
porated his reply in the text of the
book. Later, being invited by an ex-
perienced mayor to be present at a
poll over which he presided, Mr.. Bod
ley put the question to him and re-
ceived a quite different reply. Finally
the author referred the point to a
senator of indisputable authority, who
showed that the deputy and the mayor
were both wrong.-St. James Gazette.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
Good as q Corkscrew.

do you know how to take a tight
cork out of a bottle without a cork
screw was asked by woman the
other day a. a gossip party. ITS a
mighty good thing to know in an
emergency.
My sister and We're coming back
from the mountains, and she got faint
on the cars. | had a bottle of aro-
matte spirits of ammonia in my bag,
but when tried to get the cork out I
simply couldn't make it bulge.
Let me take it out for you,' sug-
gested a man across the aisle.
"Then, borrowing my pocketknife
and using his own with it, he removed
the cork IN a jiffy He inserted the
blades on opposite sides between the
bottle and the cork, each one turned
in different direction. Then when
the blades We're firmly pushed in he
simply pressed the two together. gave
them wrench sideways, and the cork
came out without any trouble I have
since tried it on larger bottles with
success. 1t is trick worth knowing"
Exchange.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12

Perjury, besides being one of the
Oldest of offenses in the catalogue of
crime, has always been very severely
punished With the advance Of civil
cation, however, fendish punishments
have been replaced by more humane If
still severe penalties In the days Of
the Roman empire any one who com
mitted perjury was thrown from
precipice, while the Greeks branded
their false swearers It is interesting
to note that when the latter embraced
the Christian religion the punishment
was altered to that Of having the
tongue cut out, sort of punishment
which was considered to fit the crime
in the early centuries. In the middle
ages some countries adopted the sys-
tenn of giving the perjurer the punish
ment for the crime he falsely accused
another of. Thus if he swore neigh
Dor had committed murder and the
charge was disproyed the perjurer
would be sentenced to death, and the
other penalties of the penal code were
exacted for the particular crime al
legged.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
A Grand Family Medicine

ut gives me pleasure to speak good
word for Electric Bitters," writes Mr..
New York Its a grand family medi.
cine for dyspepsia and liver complica-
tons; while for lame back and weak
kidneys it cannot be too highly recon-
mended" Electric Bitters regulate the
digestive functions, purify the blood,
and impart renewed vigor and vitality to
the weak and debilitated of both sexes.
Sold under guarantee at W. G. Atwell
drug store. Soc
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
Holds One Job Fifty Years.

Kenosha, Wis, June 9.-Mathias
Werve, general superintendent Of the
plant of the N. r. Aliens Sons Tan
merry company celebrated the fftieth
anniversary of his employment by the
company. His RECORD is said to be un-
equaled in Wisconsin. Mr.. Werve has
had but one long vacation, and that
was taken. in 1872, when he was in
vited by the Japanese government to
teach the Japanese how to build and
equip tannery. He remained in Jap
an for two years, and it is said he is
regarded as the father of the tanning
industry in that country.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
Will Discuss Prohibition.

Milwaukee, June S.-Prohibition in
all its phases will be discussed at the
annual convention of the United
States Brewers association, which has
opened here and be in session until
Wednesday or Thursday. Well known
speakers from all parts Of this coun-
try and England have been invited,
and they will take up the prohibition
question and discuss it not only from
the brewers standpoint, but from
every point of view.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
Clearly Complimentary.

A writer whose Christmas money
perhaps ran short, and who is obvious
ly trying to comfort himself with the
thought that her birthday is yet to
come, remarks that "the one kind OF
gift always acceptable to woman is
something, anything, in cut glass 1t
is wise saying, and one to be ex-
planned on the principle that like at
tracts like She, like cut glass, re-
veals new beauties the longer one
studies her.-Elsinore Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12

w. r. Ward of Dreysburg, Tenn,
writes: This is to certify that l have
used Foley's Orino Laxative for chronic
constipation and it has proven without a
doubt to be thorough practical rem
edy for this trouble, and it is with pleas
ure | offer my conscientious reference"
W. @. AtWell,
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
Sent to Federal Prison.

Eau Claire, Wis, June S.--Lewis
Gilbertson, of LACROSSE, who was
found guilty by jury, was sentenced
to twenty-one months in the federal
prison at Leavenworth Kan, by Judge
Sanborn III the United States court.
He was charged with fraudulently
concealing property from his trustees
in bankruptcy with the intention Of
defrauding his creditors.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
Thinks It Saved His Life

Lester M. Nelson of Naples, Maine
says in recent letter: II have used Dr..
Kings New Discovery many years for
coughs and colds, and think it saved
my life. I have found it reliable rem
edy for throat and lung complaints. and
| would no more be without bottle
than I would be without food" For
nearly forty years New Discovery has
stood at the head of throat and lung
remedies. AS preventative of pneu-
monia and healer of weak lungs it has
no equal. Sold under guarantee at W.
G. Atwell drug store. SOC and $1.00
Trial bottle free.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
No Humbug

No humbug claims have been made
for Foley's Honey and Tar, the well
known remedy for caughs, colds and
lung troubles. The fact that more bot
ties of Foley's Honey and Tar are used
than of any other cough remedy is the
best testimonial of it's great merit. Why
then risk taking some unknown prepar-
alton when Foley's Honey and Tar costs
you no more and is safe and sure? w.
G. AtWe!i.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-06-12
Tall English Women.

One might suppose that, however
much the daughters of the gods might
be admired, our modern women left
Us no cause to desire anything more
of them in the way of height. Al
ready they are stretched out to a
length which has created the fear
that Englishmen will soon be no
where beside their elongated sisters
London -Lady's Pictorial