Wood County reporter. [volume] (Grand Rapids [i.e. Wisconsin Rapids], Wis.) 1857-1923, 1908-04-02
pylgs1 TIE
SsS
~~pry

nature faker is a fair creature
who wears a rabbit fur boa with an
ermine air.-Dallas News.
According TO the market reports.
money is easy but the men who have
it are not-Washington Post.
The more we see of the simplified
spoilers the better we like Webster's
Washington Post.
With a billion dollars in gold in the
Treasury the Government is prosper
Gus, anyway.-Philadelph Press
1t appears to be nearly as costly for
an American girl to divorce a title as
to marry one.-St Louis Post-Dispatch.
Talk of war between Russia and
Turkey serves to recall the fact that
both are bankrupt-New York World.
There is one extra day in this year,
and it is Presidential campaign year,
too. That's hard Washington
Herald.
A mouse has been taught to do the
Merry Widow waltz. \ mouse can
make any kind of widow waltZ.-New
York American.
The girl who gets married during
leap year must be very beautiful in
order to escape suspicion. = Chicago
Record-Herald
What was once the Confederate
States of America may be within few
years the Prohibition State of Amer
ica-ArkansaS Gazette
1t is more blessed to give than to re
ceive was written before the day-or
rather the heyday--of the bank re-
ceiver.-New York Tribune.
The habit of keeping something in
the house for medicinal purposes
promises to become general in this
country Washington Post.
ac-depressive insanity is new,
anyhow, and presents an aspect of dig
nifty that was lacking in the brain
storm.-Philadelph Ledger.
Scientists claim to have discovered
the murder germ in hard cider. The
suicide germ was long ago discovered
in hard times Washington Post
If those Kentucky might riders
don't stop burning tobacco we shall all
be compelled to smoke cabbage leaves
very soon.-Philadelph Inquirer.
A California judge has just decided
that a man doesn't have to get out of
the way of an automobile: but the man
knows Observation-Disclosures Press.
People who kill themselves by reason
of being out of work should reflect that
this course does not make things easier
for their families.-Philadelph Led
ger.
People of Black Hand proclivities
have threatened to blow up Uncle
personally interested. = Philadelphia
Ledger.
January imports of SS5,0OO,000; Jan
uary exports of S2OG. OO0-the way
this country can both hustle and econ
omize when it has to is a caution =
New York World.
What has become of the old-fash-
toned father?" asks an exchange. He
is being kept busy paying the bills of
his new-fashioned children, we under
nd-Washington Post.
The Pittsburg engineer who has sued
to collect fee of $494.105 for a years
services appears TO have mistaken his
vocation. He should be a trust COM
pany receiver.-New York World.
New York policemen are studying
foreign languages. Now if the IL and
subway guards would only learn to
speak English. the world would seem
little brighter,-New York Herald.
interpreters at Ellis Island cannot dis
cover the nationality of a new arrival,
who talks a language they never heard
before. Has a baseball enthusiast tried
to hold converse with the stranger?-
Chicago News.
Dr. Henry T. Stedman, of the Har-
ward Medical School. insists that in
sanity is not increasing and explains
that there are more mental conditions
today than formerly that are consid-
cred insanity" So it seems.-Spring-
field Union
Secretary COrtelyou estimates that
the money boarded in the October-No-
vember panic amounts to S296. 125. 469-
about one-tenth of the total circulation.
On the average, then, nine bank depos-
itors out of ten kept their heads in the
recent crisis.-New York Tribune
1t is a little hard upon sentimental
lists that the first thing said by the res
cued miners who had been buried for
rs days was. Give us a chew of tobac-
CO." No vaudeville offers for them
Philadelphia Inquirer.
During the two decades in witch
General CoXey has been leading the
army of the unemployed. it was the de-
serters who got the jobs. But. like all
good and great men. he knows enough
of the weakness of human nature TO
forgive them.-St. Louis Republic.
Canadian manufacturers fave appealed
to Ottawa to prevent all American ma
terials being used in the construction of
the Detroit tunnel. More particularly do
IL -
and steel being used in the three quarters
of a mile of building and foundation
inland from the Canadian entrance.
Secretary Coburn of the Kansas agri-