davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
AYHAWKER JOTS

An lola real estate agent Is adver-
tising two residents to trade for farm
property
Will Meyers of Lawrence, is credited
with shooting a pelican recently that
weighed about Is pounds and measured
81z feet from the tip to tip of its wings.
]. L. Brady tells of a precocious g.
year-old lad in Vinland who promis. IS
to make his mark in the commercial
world. He tried to strike a bargain
with the village doctor to spread the
measles all over town, ---.l
The circus editor on the Wichita
Eagle must be the real thing in the
recent performance in the Peerless
Princess of the Ringing show re-
minded him of the times when $4,000
Roman citizens watched the gladiators
grapple in mortal combat on the vast
arena"
The Rinker neighborhood, which is
near Emporia. got out in force one day
this week and killed dog supposed to
be mad. As the dog bit several chick
ems before he was killed the Rinker
people probably will be afraid to eat
eggs until they have been tested for
hydrophobia germs, thinks the Wichita
Eagle.
"A whining woman" remarks the
Erie Record, has the effect of making
.AcA nus WISH Ae Aau DOuSlI q JUS
instead Of a marriage license"
Doubtless" adds the Hutchinson
News. And a tobacco-juice squirting
husband make a woman wish she had
taken up her abode in a hog pen to
start with"
Alex. Glenn. express agent On the
Central Branch, picked up a freak of
nature at Osborne a few days ago. 1t
is strange mixture of oats and corn.
The stock is corn but the vegetation on
the end of 1t appears to be a scrubby
growth of corn with a sprig of oats
growing out of it. The freak is on dis
play in the AtchiSon Savings bank.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe ]


AS a rule, we are afraid OF women
who wear glasses.
About all a good man does for peo-
pie is to wish them well.
AS soon as a girl gets married, she
begins to hear nothing but hard times.
An open confession may be good for
the soul, but 1t is hard on the reputa-
tion.
1t is a bad sign when a young hus-
band goes to see his folks without TAX
ing his bride.
In winter you can put on enough to
be warm, but in summer you can't
take off enough to be cool.
A cross father, instead of proving a
warning to his daughters, often has the
effect of making them willing to marry
anyone in order to leave home.
Fashion magazines say that women
this winter will be without hips. 1t
won't make any great difference: Wo-
men no longer have so many babies
and so much work that they carry a
baby around on one hip. and really
have no use for hips.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
A TIMBER FAMINE.

Angus Cameron, a British subject
who has spent much of his life in the
international timber trade, writes in
structively from California to the Lon
don Times on the timber supply. He
warns his countrymen in terms that
should not pass unnoticed by Ameri-
cans, who face a serious problem in
conserving their own timber supply.
Mr.. Cameron believes that in a gener-
alton the Amazon Valley in South
America and the Uganda protector
ate in Centrall Africa will be the only
large sources of timber supply still un-
cut. He advises Britons to turn their
attention toward developing the
Uganda district along scientific lines
and to begin at once cutting timber
which has begun to rot on the stump.
In this connection he remarks.
ct estimate the timber area of
Uganda at 10000 square miles, that is
to say 25,6O0, 900 acres, which at 1000
cubic feet per acre would yield 25,-
SOC, 100000 cubic feet in all. Why
should this enormous forest be allowed
to rot on the stump when you need
the timber so much at home? 1t is a
self-evident fact that in forest that
Is peTpeLudJlIlB lISSlI II uSCdyS DIS AdSI
as 1t grows and we know that this
decay and growth is about 40 cubic
feet per acre per annum, hence there
is 1,024.00O,0OO cubic feet rotting in
the forest of Uganda every year. For
the benefit of the general reader I
may state, if converted into sleepers,
be sufficient for 10000 miles Of sim
gle track railway, and all this with
out injury to the forest"
If the British government would
take charge of the Uganda forests, it
could conserve in the empire timber
enough to supply home needs until
you can grow your own at home"
And then Mr.. Cameron reaches his
final point: My advice to you at home
is to plant every available inch of
ground. Don't say you haven't any.
I know of several millions of acres in
England, Wales, Ireland and Scotland
that can produce a profitable crop of
timber, and which in the interest of
coming generations should be planted.
Assuredly this timber famine will be
upon you in less than so years"
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
INTE1LIGENT afpcHANIsNI.

Now that plants are capable of think
ing and have lenses that enable them
to see, according to certain scientists,
II would be difficult to clrcumscribe the
extent OF sensibility even among the
most inanimate objects. An antique
clock stood on the mantel piece of a
New York residence. 1t was a French
clock Of intricate workmanship and had
been standing there for many years.
Nearly 25 years ago 1t stopped and no
amount OF home treatment could per-
suade it to go again. Its hands point
ed to 2:20 o'clock, and there they re-
mained until the other afternoon. Then
a sneak thief peered through the open
doorway and caught sight Of the an
cient timepiece. No, doubt he recog-
nized in the French example of fine
handiwork a pawnable object. Any
way. he took the silent clock from the
mantel. thrust ii under his coat and
pussy y-footed his way to the outer door.
And then what did that kidnapped
clock do? 1t awoke from it's long sleep,
it burst the bonds of silence, 1t whirred
and struck and chimed and raised
general horological hullabaloo. The
janitor of the apartment heard the dis
turbance and rushed UP from his base
ment lair in time to see the thief dis
appearing through the doorway. He
pursued the fellow and caught him, and
the old clock was still protesting when
the janitor's heavy grasp fell upon the
thieyish shoulders.
OF course it will be argued that a
thing of wheels and springs and PIN
ions and lubricating oil cannot be ami
mated by the breath of it's makers
intelligence. Yet various forms of mech
chanism have been known to exhibit
actions that We're marvellously lifelike,
and among the most curious of these
must be classed the action of the an
Client clock that unloosed it's tongue in
the hour of peril and vociferated for
N,oJ
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
BOOKS OR BATHS?

If it had been fifty years ago in
stead of today that DR.. w. H. Max
we'll, superintendent of New York
city's schools, had told an audience
as he did in substance recently that
he believed the moral and hygienic
value of the Carnegie libraries to the
city was small compared with what
might accrue from an equally COM
prehensive system Of public baths,
he would have been adjudged at least
hereto, if not worse than an in
fidel And this in spite of the fact that
the authority for rating cleanliness
next to godliness is considerably more
than a half century old. That today,
while books have not lost their pres
tige in the least. baths are in the view
of the majority their close equals in
Importance. is one of the most help
full signs of the times.
The man who said:
We may live without friends,
We may live without books,
But civilized man
Cannot live without cooks
is not disputed as often as he used to
be In regard to the books, but there
would be disposed to substitute
baths" for cooks" There are even
some one who begin to believe that
the darkness of the middle ages was
due fully as much to the fact that the
blessing of bathing had not been dis
covered, or rather forgotten, as to
the lack of general learning. And
there are many more who. in the
light of the practice and experience
OF this new century. are convinced
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
QUAKER MEDITATIONs.

[From the Philadelphia Record
Sidetrack the man who talks much
and says little.
1t frequently happens that the more
We know the less we believe.
It's a poor shoemaker who can't
keep body and sole together.
1t is pleasanter to overlook our
faults than to overhear them.
The people who want to do every
thing over generally overdo it.
An artist can always paint his wife,
but sometimes she paints herself.
To succeed a man must either have
a lot of backbone or a lot of cheek.
Even when We look in a mirror we
don't see ourselves as others see US.
Lots of people look for trouble who
don't know what to do with it when
they find it.
Charity covers a multitude of sins,
but it's always our charity and other
peoples sins.
To love our neighbors as We love
ourselves would transform the world
into a mutual admiration society.
Nell-"Mrs. Talkalot says she be-
lieves only half she hears Belle
Yes, but she hears twice as much as
anybody else
When man gives his wife a present
that costs $40 it's safe bet that il
Will be worth $25 when she tells about
it.
Guzzler-"Hello, Wigwag! Come and
have a drink" Wigwag-"No, thank
you; it's too early in the morning for
me-" Guzzler-''Well, I suppose none
are so blind as those who refuse an
eye-opener."
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
JOURNAL ENTRIES

1t seems that the thicker a plot grows
the more easily it leaks out.
\
Persons who travel on the same troll
ley line are literally thrown together a
good deal.
y X
It's wrong to accuse women of going
through their husbands pockets. They
generally only go to the bottom OF
them.
From the quantity of food some per-
sons eat 1t is evident that they are
much larger than their outward ap-
pearances indicate.
y
Many parents would rightly consider
the studying of their children in pri-
vate schools exceedingly expensive if
they only knew how little they studied
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18

that, If it must be a choice between
perpetual deprivation of baths or
books, the books could be spared
much better To consider the mat
ter in its most practical light, take
the experience OF the librarian in one
of the Carnegie library districts or
that same New York city. He will
tell that there is a dead waste of hum
dreds of good books every year
simply because the users of them are
lacking in the habit of bathing, IN
habits OF cleanliness. This opens up
a much broader question than that
of handling books with soiled hands.
1t means that lack of bathing breeds
and encourages disease. often of the
contagious sort, and that. books being
especially adapted for the communi-
cation of disease germs. constant dis
infection and destruction il necessary
in every public library, especially in
large cities.
This is but one phase of the sub
tect. perhaps minor one. But it
shows how little argument may in the
present day be needed to prove that
the place of cleanliness is that at first
assigned to it. at least second on the
list However. the choice between
baths and books is hardly necessary
Both of them may be had together.
The situation suggests splendid op-.
portunity for any man of worrying
millions who would enter into
popularity competition with Andrew
Carnegie. Let him start the whole
sale endowment of free public baths
and even with the handicap he
would have. he might soon md him
self overhauling Mr.. Carnegie.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18

Spoilers" And it's the division of the
spoils in the city governments that
they control and also in some of the
state .ofiiccs that is responsible for
the bitter dissensions among them.
The news that they have decided to
kiss and make UP until after the ma
tional campaign is closed is a ray Of
hope for the managers of the Demo-
cratic national campaign. If har-
mony had not finally reigned at the
New York Democratic state conven-
ton Mr.. Bryan's chances of carrying
New York. which are slim under the
most favorable circumstances, would
have been absolutely worthless.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18

Through Charles Ferguson. a
writer for the Hearst newspapers, the
Independence party, Mr.. Hearst's
political play 1ing. challenges all
political bosses. ''It is determined"
declares Mr.. Ferguson in speaking Of
this aim Of the party, ''to put an end
to machine politics-not because it
has any grudge against machine
politicians as human beings, but be-
cause machine politics is terribly
wasteful of life and goods" This is
a most laudable aspiration but the
chances are that long before the In
dependence party gets into power to
do these things they will have been
accomplished by direct primary laws
which in the near future, 1t is not un-
reasonable to expect, will be in force
IN all the states: of the Union.
Wherever the direct primary has been
tried it has generally proved to be the
swan song of the political bosses and
their machines:
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
HUAOR or THE DAY

Little New York Boy-say. father. when
will / be old enough SO that won't have
to get UP and give my seat TO laoy'-
Life.
Mr. Howell suppose you have studied
all the authorities on social and economic
questions? Mr.. Wise-Not quite all. nay
daughters graduation essay Is not out yet
Life.
"And so she is very queenly? / suppose
she's the kind of a woman VINO is never
sfraid to enter the grandest drawing
room" "Oh more majestic than that!
She's the kind OF woman VINO neVer
afraid to enter her own kitchen. "-Brook-
lyn Life.
This is a new shaving soap I'm using,
said the barber. How do you like it?''
"Appiied externally" spluttered the VIC
tim.EThe Catholic Standard and Times.
Actor-I have persuaded that. critic who
wields so much power with MS pen tQ
take dinner with us. Wife-W naL Snaii l
stne ,nod MI r,Iain roast wife (timidly)-Buts
dear. would that be tactful?-Baltimors
American.
Knicker-I was sitting UP with very
sick friend last night. tell you. Mrs.
KniekerIXss sat ,Da np ~15s Bazsr siS slek "i'e
Little wife-Grandad. what makes
naraeTSt man asways yinee s GTandfather-The woman
-Philadelphia Inquirer.
"Uncle Jehosaphat,, I'm going to name M
,,sce of vou-" 'iOhi it's all right. Mother
says rye got to drown the thing any
nov. .''-Illustrated Bits.
what do they mean by fan
fare7'' INQUIRED the circus enthusiast
''Peanuts and pop" answered the base
hall fiend.-Kansas City journal.
Bacon-And does your son show any
signs Of his college training7 Egbert-Oh,
YES; he's quite lame from an injury he
received on the football team.-Yonkers.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.

TFrorn the Chicago News.1
There isn't much meat on the bone OF
contention. ::
A successful man isn't necessarily a
contented man.
It costs more to get out of trouble
than it does to keep out.
It's a pity some people can't marry
for brains instead OF money.
The dread Of ridicule Is apt to
strangle originality at it's birth.
But there are times when fiction In
almost as strange as the truth.
We feel sorry for some people be-
cause of the ancestors they inherited
And many a man attributes his fail
ure to his inability to start at the top.
Occasionally a listener hears good OF
himself-after talking into a phono-
graph.
At the time he casts his first vote a
man is too young to realize that he
doesn't know 1t all.
We feel sorry for the woman who.
has no confidence in either her hus-
band or her dressmaker.
Doctors and lawyers have at least
one good trait in common. They nevar
give advice before 1t is asked for.
After getting the best of a man ~
one deal. steer clear OF him. for he rvsis
begin to sit Up and take. notice. =
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18

it's the opinion of the United States
circuit court of appeals for one of
the southern districts that the state
of South Cardinals dispensary sys-
tenn is illegal. The court holds In
effect that a state cannot conduct a
liquor traffic because that is a pri-
vate business. In addition to this be-
ing good law it is good sense and
a proper rebuke to states which have
undertaken to handle the liquors in
their commonwealths where pro-
hibItory laws prevail. In prohibition
territory the state should regulate the
sale Of such liquor as may be deemed
necessary and not engage in this busi-
ness itself. Some such regulation as
the one in vogue in Kansas is a good
plan but the regulations should be
more stringent than they are here
and It would not become the next
Kansas legislature amiss to make the
rules for the sale Of liquor by the
druggists more strict.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18

Clergymen to the number OF one
hundred and sixty-one, representing
twenty -four religious denominations
and thirty-six states ana territories in
the United States. besides three
denominations and four provinces of
Canada, have Issued a manifesto to
the clergy and churches of America,
declaring their belief in Socialism and
urging a search OF the scriptures and
a study of the philosophy of Socialism
upon all who do not agree with them.
The philosophy of Socialism is in
tensely appealing but the trouble with
the creed, or propaganda, is its i'm
practicAbilfty.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
[From the New York Press

LFrom the New York Pressl
The more money a man could make
the more still his family could spend.
Friends seem to think they do you a
favor by letting you do them for them.
A man can get fun out of doing most
anything unless he has to earn his liv-
ing that way.
Starving to death can make a wo-
man happy IL she is doing it to show
her faith in somebody.
There's hardly anything makes a
man so proud Of himself as to tell how
he can't sleep at night.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
No servant.G Girl Problems.

eve have no servantgirl problem
out in my country, for the reason
that there are no servant girls" said
Mr.. Thomas NJ. Dorchester, of Brit
ish Columbia.
1.-THE only thing left for US is to
hire Chinese and Japanese as domes-
tics. 1t is difficult to get q. Chinese
servant nowadays, as the government
has put tax of $500 on all of that
race who settle in our section. At
the same time I would not give one
Chinaman for dozen Japs, and that
is the reason 1 pay my Chinese cook
SIS a month when I could get Jap
for something less.
I'm California, where I used to live.
it is the same way. The people great
ly prefer the Chinese, but the ex-
clusion act has made them scarce,
and necessity forces the employment
of the Japanese, who are not nearly
so reliable or agreeable. ."-Baltimore
American.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18

According to Andrew Carnegie,
Kaiser Wilhelm's greatness has been
woefully underestimated. The dis
penser of Libraries and hero medals
says that the ruler of Germany has it
in his power to abolish war. II this
were a fact the chances are that the
Kaiser would take the first oppor-
tunity to do so as would any man of
HIS intelligence. But it's to be feared
that Mr.. Carnegie's overwhelming
desires for a universal peace among
the nations of the earth have led
him into the fields of romance.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18

One job that will probably go a.
begging IS that of navigating the bal
looms which the army officers are
making plans to shoot at in a series
Of experiments to determine the pos
slbility OF damaging balloons and air
ships In flight
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18

From the list OF big guns" that the
managers Of the Republican national
campaign propose to send into Kansas
It is reasonable to suppose that they
believe this state to be debatable
ground. This list includes Mr.. Taft.
the candidate for president; Mr.. Sher-
man, the candidate for vice president;
Governor Hughes. of New York; Gov
ernor Cummins. of Iowa; Senator Bev-
eridge, OF Indiana; and Senator DollI-
YER of Iowa
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18

New York Democracy, now as ever,
IL torn asunder by factional fights.
There's reason for this. New York
Democrats do not even confess to any
high-minded ideals In the administra-
ton of the affairs of government,
whether they be of city or state. At
least this applies to the stripe of New
York Democrats who now, and have
Tor some time, controlled the des-
tinies OF the party in that state.
They might properly be termed The
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18

Mr Bryan now thinks that Mr.. Taft
Is trying to scare the people of the
country into giving him the presidency.
II this was so Mr.. Taft would not have
much luck for the voters in this coun-
try are not easily scared.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
FRON OTHER PENS
WHY NOT A VICE ADMIRAL.

WHY NOT A VICE ADMIRAL.
A tremendous fleet of battleships
flying the flag of the United States is
lying in Sydney harbor under the COM
mand OF Rear Admiral Sperry. At
Sydney the British Australian squad
ron, not more than one-tenth the i'm
portance of the American feet, is
commanded by Vice Admiral Poore.
Admiral Sperry had to make the first
call upon Admiral Poore because the
latter ranks him. Such is naval eti-
quette.
When the American fleet goes to
China a Chinese admiral will rank
Sperry, who will have to yield prece-
dence in all official functions. When
1t reaches Japan, a Japanese admiral
will await the ceremonious call of the
American commander of this magnifi-
cent fleet.
All this may seem rather insignifi-
cant. In a way it is. for the fleets
speak for themselves and the Ameri-
can battleships have proved marvels
and have won the regard of an as
tonished world. Yet it does seem a
little preposterous that Admiral
Sperry should not at least be on an
official equality with the commanders
of the squadrons that he meets
Philadelphia Inquirer.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
EULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PREsS

Weather reports indicate that there
was no rain in Kansas for one whole
week. And II hasn't been missed by
either crops or men.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
PASS TT ON


The College President:
Sucn raWness in a student is a shame
But lack OF preparation is to blame.
The High School Principal.
GOOD heavens! what crudityI The boys q
The fault. of course. is with the grammar
school.
The Grammar Principal:
would that from such Ounce might be
They send them I'D to me so unprepared.
The Primary Principal:
Poor kindergarten blockhead! And they
That .,.Preparationl" Worse than none at
The kindergarten Teacher:
Never such lack Of training did see.
what sort of person can the mother be?
The Mother:
fou h{u s5upid child! But then, you're not to
Your fathers family are all the same.
The Philosopher:
Snau rather in his folks defense be heard?
NO! Let the mother have the final word.
Puck.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
Thrill for Nitroglycerin Handler.

Fran Hall, a local oil Well shooter.
had a "scary'' experience recently. He
was carrying a can containing eight
quarts of nitroglycerin past the end of
a pile of casting at drilling we'll just
as the driller came from the derrick
floor and stepped on a joint of the pipe.
1t was balanced in the middle and
his weight caused the other end to tip
up, striking the bottom of the can car
ried by Hall. Both the men held their
breaths for an instant, awaiting the
explosion that they had good cause to
expect would follow, but they were
agreeably surprised in nothing of the
kind occurring.
The tin bottom was dented, but there
was eno'gh spring in the tin to absorb
the shock of the collision without dis
turbing to the exploding point the dam
gerous coutents.-Oil City Derrick.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-09-18
EDUCATION AND WEALTH.

In the eloquence of calmly stating a
fact undenied and undeniable, the
general education board recites that it
sees no way of raising the educational
work of the agricultural south until
the occupiers of the land learn i'm
proved culture, SO that more money
can be made by farming" This is not
stump speech, a party platform or
a letter of acceptance, but the con-
scientiously wrought opinion of body
of highly intelligent. generous, hard
working, sympathetic, helpful men,
who are engaged in a mission as al
truistic as any undertaken by human
beings since the world was ordered out
of chaos.
The condition of having great
things. of developing great talents, of
spreading over great areas the bless
ings of higher mentality, is the possess
sion of community wealth which can
support specialized teachers, exem-
plars and pioneers. A library can not
be established without wealth which is
surplus over the needs of functional
animal existence. whether it is the
farm boys dozen volumes 'or the ma
tons vast collection at Warrington
Philadelphia LeAger.