The Whitefish pilot. [volume] (Whitefish, Mont.) 1904-current, 1908-05-08
TRIBULATIONs OF A ROUNDHOUSE
FOREMAN.

TRIBULATIONs OF A ROUNDHOUsE
FOREMAN.
James G. r. (of course the name is ficticious. }
! Is man who was never at all superstitious.
Rnt q dream he had is direct intimation
OF his faith In the doctrine Of predestina-
tion.
Now the said James G. R., please bear in
mind.
Is bright roundhouse man. who. like all
of-his kind.
Has trials and troubles, too many to state,
And with this introduction, his dream I'll
relate.
A spirit appeared at his bedside one night.
Decked out in garments of pure, spotless
white,
And thus addressed Jim: ITO mo has been
given
Commission from the Recording Angel in
heaven,
To ascertain why your name should appear
On the great book of life, as the reason is
not clear.
The Profanity record has been kept for ages,
But nothing like yours appears OH its pages;
Therefore, it is decided unless you can show
Good cause for defense. to send you below.
Where the fire Is unquenched, and those
who have never
Repented are roasted for ever and ever"
On hearing the latter. Jim tried hard to
smile,
And invited the spirit to tarry awhile.
IF fail to make good my defense In full
measure"
He said, I'm be sentenced with greatest OF
i,,h horo and accOr,.
pany me,
And report to headquarters whatever you
see."
The spirit agreed, am happy to say,
And took note of what happened the follow.
ing day.
First, conceited young clerk, with express
sion Satanic,
Brought bundle of letters rom the master
mechanic;
And here are some extracts I'll give, as ex-
ample,
Ola bunch that the spirit took away for a
sample:
"You are using Sand coulee coal for your
passenger trains,
Please let me know what excuse you can
name.
Engine failures last year for the month
we're but seven,
l regret for the seme time this year there
eleven;
You must take up the matter, and ascertain
why N-t
We used SO much oil in the month of July;
You're surely aware that half pint to use
OF valve oil, per hundred, is simply abuse;
l belive 1t would be wiser (at least we eau
try it)
To give engineers feathers with which to
apply 1t.
1.-THE presidents special is leaving today,
At 10:45, there must be no delay"
But, alas, for the plans of mice and of men,
The telephone rings ut quarter of ten,
And the voice of the call boy announced
with drawl,
Ode fireman is sick; who else will CALL"
The fire-up man appeared at the door,
'The crown sheet is down in the 1884"
Then next comes an engineer, swelled like q
toad,
You'd think, from his looks, that he'd sure
ly explode.
land asked in the name of the evil one,
why aint the work Oh my engine been
done?"
Mr.. J. G. r. then made an angry retort,
While the spirit examined the work report
OF this same engineer. and this was the news:
Wash out the boiler aud bore out the hues;
| The seams are n squirtin' cork all the leaks
The Il. B. driver is SD dry that it squeaks,
Steam pipes are leaking, pack throttle we'll
| Right main pin is cut and runs hotter than
II lit should);
n All rod bushing are loose on both sides,
Set up the main wedges and line up the
guides;
The air pump jerks ON the upward stroke.
Examine and see II the valves aint broke.
T, Ike down left main rod and reduce brass,
And don't fail to put in a new water glass.
Raise the front end an inch or more,
And fix the catch on the ire box door;
think from the way she burns her fire.
Her petticoat should be Ia little higher"
Before the spirit got through taking notel
\ From the book which contains all the work
81 reports,
From the chief dispatcher came a message
which read,
! "The Oriental Limited engine is dead:
!. Send another at once to take the traiu-
Why you sent this one out, yeu will please
explain"
Then the hostler announced that broker
| switch
Had caused him to put the 1851 in the ditch
The spirit departed, but on the same nigh
Returned with q crown, and in greatest de
! light.
; Presented to James most astonished vision
A text of the Recording ANGELS decision,
And list of the great hero saints revealed
With james g. R. leading the field.
A. Boomer.