davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

From the Outlook
There are hosts Of people to-day who
have money in hand and are letting their
grocers, butchers, milkmen. and others
who supply the necessities of life go un-
paid simply because they are timid, and
like some country and city banks. want
to collect and keep as much money on
hand as possible; as if money were for
boarding, and not for circulation. This
small-minded precaution is bringing mis-
fortune to many industries and faithful
men and women. Those who supply the
means Of life. whose coming and going
from the house are part of the daily rou-
tine of keeping the family alive. ought to
be the very last TO suffer from delayed
payment As matter of fact, they are
the very first
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
rlmothy Noodruf,s DIIemma.

From the Brooklyn Eagle.
The time viii soon come when Mr.. Tim
othy L. Woodruff will have to take sides
in Kings County between the Hughes and
the anti Hughes forces It was Artemus
Ward who wrote TO the editor of the
Cleveland Plain Dealer; My perIitercal
sentiments agree with yourn exackly. I
know they do. becawz I nevr saw a man
whOos didn't p. S.-You scratch my
back & lie scratch your back" When
the machine follows the leader, progress
is easy. When the rank and file chase
the machine and the leader with clubs
and guns. the leader is quite likely To
head the posse, and to let the machine
take the consequences of its want of
mobility and gumption.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
Cruel Blow.

And I'm a few days It viii be leap
year." unused the Beautiful Damsel
Tell me, Mr. Musch, do you consider
it'-and she blushed and cast down her
eyes-"do you consider it bold and i'm
modest for a girl to-er-propose to a
man in Leap Year?"
He leaned forward with the light OF
hope glowing in his eyes.
''Nor' he asserted. 7 think IL only
right and proper. It's a beautiful thing
for girl to do. Its-ah-it's divine!
But why (his voice shool) why do you
ask?"
THAT dear old Miss dudfencs wanted
me 10 get your opinion on 1t. She's
awfully gone on you, you know. You'd
better go and call on her Wednesday
if you think as you have told me"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
How Lightly Rest Marriage Ties.

From the New York Tribune.
How lightly the marriage tie rests upon
persons living under the free and easy
divorce laws of these United States may
be seen in the strange adventure of a
New Jersey woman, who discovered a
few days ago that her husband with
whom she had been living, had secured a
divorce from her five years before This
did not hinder the husband, however,
from retaining some real estate which
his quondam spouse had decided to him
under the assumption that he was still
her liege lord. At the same time. the de-
cree released him from the obligation of
supporting her. VIII any other country
try 10 beat this record?
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

THE Washington Herald rebukeS us
for considering its booming Of Foraker
good joke and then accuses the Chi
cago Post of perpetrating a joke in ad-
vOCating BOnaparte" says the Atlanta
Journal What's the matter with the
Journal anyhow? This paper is not
booming Foraker" for anything. nor
has it ever in its widest moments ac-
cusod the Chicago Post Of advocating
Bonaparte' as a joke or otherwise. Has
our Georgia friend been bidding good-by
TO the flowing bowl not wisely. but too
we'll?
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
Washington and Roosevelt.

From the Brooklyn Tines
President Roosevelt is initiating the
spirit of George Washingtons position
when he refuses to run for third term.
Let him still further initiate Washington
by leaving to the country the selection Of
his successor. Washington undoubtedly
preferred Alexander Hamilton to Thomas
Jefferson. Had he been asked to name
the second President he would have
chosen his Secretary Of the. Treasury
rather than his Secretary Of State But
he held his hands of He did what Presi-
dent Roosevelt does not seem willing to
do. Roosevelt, although a close student
of Washington, has not thoroughly mas
tered all the facts Of the first President 3
life.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
Not Even a Hero Medal.

From the ST. Louis Post-Dispatch.
There is undue haste when the Chicago
Sunday closing law is pronounced a fall
ure on the first test case On the evi-
dence that the defendant had sold Sun
day stimulsnts. the jury merely found
him not guilty of criminal conduct,
without presenting him with a silver
service or other testimonial of public ap-
probation for his services.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

ton from both a political and a financial
standpoint. No matter what some finan-
clers may think of it. there is no doubt
that, if enacted into law, it would prove
one of the most popular measures placed
on the statute books in a generation.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
ono Thinr or Lac Other.

From the Portland UTes0nian.
If there is not to be free trade between
the Philippines and the United States,
then we should give the Philippines in
It is wrong to compel their
and then pluck them by our
protective tariff
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
4 FOOLISH RALLAnE.

The board was barred.
The meal was through,
And then ! dared
A deed TO do,
Just one or two
Quick steps 7 took
In all mems view
/ kissed the cook,
And no one stared
Or looked askew:
And no one cared.
For no one knew
Whose eyes of blue,
With puzzled look,
Had watched the stew.
I kissed the cook.
For no one shared
Your secret. who
Had just prepared
For all that crew
Their grub TO chew.
When Jane f0rsOok
Her post. 'Tis true
I kissed the cook,
Ay, Jane had few
The inglen00k,
And so. in You
I kissed the cook,
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
His scheme.

And how are you going 70 make any
money out OF your new magazine?"
we shall print the pictures and biog-
raphies Of all the prominent men. And
they VIII buy UP the whole edition"
And distribute it?"
'No-destroy it,"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
our Foreign Relations.

Fro4h the PhiIadeIpnla inquirer
mo Englishman. I hope" says Am
bassador Bryce, considers himself in the
United States a foreigner" Certainly not.
He is usually a son-in-law or a brother
in-law, or has ambitions in that direc-
ton.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
No Rnce Line ln Graft.

From the Chicago News.
Corruption Is charged in the city ooun-
ell of Tokyo in connection with the street.
railway purchase. Does graft follow the
street-railway business regardless OF col
or, race, or nation?
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

They are saying that in his speech at
Boston tomorrow night Judge Taft viii
cut loose from Roosevelt" said the Pitts
burg Gazette-Times the day before the
speech was delivered. They proved to
be quite as accurate as usual
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

a Tennessee patriot has named his
newly arrived twins Edward Ward and
Robert Love, for former Senator Carmack
and Senator Taylor. respectively. II is
doubtful whether the old Volunteer State
ever had harder job on hand than de-
Gliding between these two statesmen. and
this is perhaps the first time this Ten
nesseean's conscience has been real easy
since the election
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

party could do no finer thing for itself
than to brace up and assume decent
attitude toward that important Office and
nominate a full-grOwn statesman FOR the
place, regardless Of the ''bar'l-'
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

From the Indianapolis Star.
The Teddy bear has lost his popularity
in New York. This also is doubtless the
work of the $. 900 900 conspiracy.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

been a prominent
figure in the Re
publican councils
OF that State.
His extreme pop
ularity manifested
itself when he was
unanimously re-
elected to the Six
tieth Congress.
Senator Smith Is
principal owner Of
the Grand RAPIDS
Herald, and, being
a newspaper man
himself, is always
ready TO help the
fraternity. lie is
a good st0Fy-teller,
and his stock Of
yarns is large and
interesting.
One Of the Sena-
tors constituents
Is a doctor, who
has an uncle liv-
ing in the country
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

We congratulate Chancellor Day that
he didn't have to stand out in the cold
yesterday in Wonderful Washington, and
watch the great gangs of American citi-
zens and citizenesses fiocking to the
White House TO give the President the
glad hand
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
WHILST YOU'RE KEEPING UP THE
FIRE

can hear the old man sayin'-long before he went
away
To the calm, untroubled country where the wisest
Of 'em stay,
That plain ol'-fsshioned lesson that we took to
heart for good:
Whilst you're keepin' up the FIRE you're Albumin
up the woOd!
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

The Charleston News and Courier thinks
Gov Hoke smith probably would not
object TO paying s. or SO for carriage
used by him on Georgia Day" at James
town. But a photograph Of 1fr. Smith
paying for carriage used on that day
by his predecessor. Gov. Joe Terrell. who
IS really the guilty party. would furnish
sight delightful TO see Satan's affec-
ton for holy water is touching beside
the Hon. HOke's love for the Hon. Joe
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Looks as If there might be some ground
of compromise between Arkansas states
men. One Congressman delivered three
speeches in three minutes and one Sen
ator delivered no speech in two hours.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

"Not one dozen people in the United
States thoroughly understand the financial
question" says a Chicago banker. That
is the reason some 7,296,6S9 people are SO
busy explaining it.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
From toe Boston Transcript.

If the panic becomes an issue in the
campaign next year, we now have the
Roosevelt answer. Such a presentation
as that Of Mr.. Taft's would, We believe
prevent any serious reaction against the
party in power. even were the depres-
siOns TO prove much more serious than
now seems likely. What Henry Ward
BeeCher accomplished in persuadng the
idle spinneTs of the cotton mill towns Of
England that their interest in human
freedom should outweigh the discOmforts
of being out of work, suggests the line
of administration defense, should hard
times ensue, and the charge be raised
Roosevelt had brought them to pass
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

There are some men who are just nat
urally convinced that Roosevelt Is the
greatest man on EARTH" says the Baltl-
more Sun. Naturally, or artihciaIly?
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

THE Washington Herald wants 'Yon
Yonson, by yimminy, for Bryan's run
ming mate. Where would the barrel come
from?' inquiries the Detroit Free Press.
There il goes again--fOrever and eternaIly
the "barT" in 0nnectiOn with the Vice
Presidential Boulination. The Democratic
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Beast-What is the cause Of the recent
enormous increase in insanity. in your
opinion?
Scarletyeak-Th lawyers for the de-
fense. OF course
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

So far as raising the salaries Of the
government clerks is concerned, Congress
appears 10 think that charity begins at
homeland ends there
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
Makes Him Nervou.

From the Cleveland Leader.
Speaker Cannon is a very seIf-possessed
statesman, but it razzles his nerves all
up to see any one monkeying with the
tariff saw.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Lord Curz0n would like TO sit in the
House of Lords Also. he is trying hard
to sit on the premier says the Chicago
Post. His lordship must have taste for
the strenuous political life.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
The Alignment.

Not every politician in Washington
has a boom"
Nor
mo; some few are managing the booms
Of their friends
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
TAFT AND PANIC ISSUE.
Way In Which IL VIII Be Met Fore
shadOwed at Boston.

shadOwed at Boston.
From the New York Tribune.
Mr Taft in his Boston speech said many
things which viii be heard over and over
again during the campaign next year,
whoever the Republican candidate may
be. If the present business disturbance
continues for a few months longer. the
criticisms which Mr. Taft has anticipated
and refuted so effectively Will have 10 be
met and answered repeatedly-by him If
he is the Republican candidate, because,
It will be said, he was a member of the
present administration, but. in fact, by
any other Republican because the things
referred to in the Boston speech occurred
with the Republican party in power. If
to foresee and to answer convincingly the
arguments of the opposition Is to make
an effective political speech. Mr. Taft
has made one. He talked upon a vital
matter, and he evidently regards it as
one of the most vital matters. COndi-
tions may shape themselves so as to
make il the leading topic in point of
actual discussion IN the coming cam
paign; or, again, they may so improve as
somewhat to subordinate it.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Senator William J. Bryan will have to
hustle if he expects the newspapers to
consider it necessary TO explain that they
don't mean him every time the Nebras-
kan's name goes into print
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
A Frost,

Now Is the winter Of our discontent-he
Speaks but the truth who calls it cold.
I ween.
The mercury is shrunken down to 20.
And 3. & ks down TO Il.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

The Grand Rapids Herald likes our
paragraphs so well that IL reproduces
them by the yard and without credit
and never even says Thanks" As
Grand Master Of the Justly Famous Her
aid Family, we consider it our duty to
call this erring brother to order
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

From the Chicago Tribune.
Admiral Bob Evans and fleet are at
Port Of Spain. a city which is remarkable
for not being at ali port of Spain.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
A Good Resolution.

From the Charleston News and Courier.
The "nalefactors of great wealth" wiz
resolve again tomorrow to stay out OF
Jail for another year.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
CAPITOL GOSSIP.

Senator William Alden Smith, of Michi-
gan. began his political career as a page
in the Michigan house of representatives,
and from that time until now he has
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

The Montgomery Advertiser says il is a
useless waste of space 10 deny that Gen
Lee surrendered his sword to Gen Grant
at AppomattoX. and then proceeds 10
waste some space denying Il.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

A West Chester tpa.) man received a
lemon for a Christmas present. inside Of
which was S45 in gold. Wonder If We
made a mistake when we threw that
lemon George Bailey sent US into the
Waste-basket without cutting it open?
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
JUST BY THE WAY.

From the Cleveland Leader.
The Important Thing.
Mr.. Jawback-Why ON earth do you sit
by the airshaft window 10 read? You
can't see wei there.
Mrs. Jawba ck-No, but I can hear.
beautifully.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Ability to write a Latin prescription Is
now almost as sure a sign of high favor
at the White House as ability 10 bust a
bronchO.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Florida's new Senator. ". J. Bryan. IS
only thirty-one years old-iust the proper
age to become known as the boy" some
thing Of the Senate
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Russia Is in the market for a $500. .0oO
loan," says the Mexican Herald. A lot
of folks feel that way about the first
day of every January.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

sorter set all to thinkiu-as. when harvest came
along
An we saw the prospect brighten like sunbeam
in a song,
An the silver iingled careless-like-that word we
understood:
While yoU're keepin up the fire you're Albumin
up TIA woodl'
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

wellington. New Zealand, is the wind
lest city in the world" says the Chicago
Rec0rd-Herald. Surely, the Record Her
aid has not heard of Houston, Tex.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
FuII of Holes.

From the St. Louis GIobe-Democrat.
In choosing q lid for New York the
Tammany officials got hold Of a colander.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

The next time lone policeman hears
Mr.. Booth Harrington singing I'VE
Won't Go Home Till Morning We guess
he viii believe his ears, and not seek to
argue the matter with the Iudianian.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Stop twitting Georgia about prohibition
now. It is no longer a joke.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Another count Of the Philippines shows
l,leo new ones. How would il do 10 quit
counting the Philippines?
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

a Massachusetts woman threw a golf
ball at one Of her gentlemen friends and
hit him. whereupon he proposed imme-
diately Evidently he recognized her as
an extraordinary woman-and he was
right, too.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

The Shah of Persia has taken an oath
10 support the new constitution. It was
either that or take the limited express
for the frontier.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

II made my marshals out Of mud
/ Napoleon Bonaparte
II made my admirals out Of sugar of
/ milk. "-TheOdre Roosevelt
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

IF suffering from grip, don't ride inside
Of street cars" says a physician. Nor
under them, nor on top of them.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
Why Notf

Why do folks howl at such a rate.
And sneer and mock?
Some nations have the ship Of state
Steered by a DOC"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Dream yosr dreams-there must be dreamers in
world The Lord made bright
The dTeamers OF the darkness an the dreamers Of
the light;
OF the sowin' an the reapin' dreams Of glory an
OF good
You must keep the IRE blazin', bat you're burnm
up the wood.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

The Pacific fleet never dreamed Of the
bitter war it was leaving behind.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
Advice TO "CFaDs Shooters,

From the Atlanta Georgian.
Rolling bones gather no coin.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Jest that ol'-fashioned lesson; an I'm glad We
read Sc right.
An felt its deeper meanin' fore he said his last
Goodnight
For where the heart beats truest stu is where its
understood
Whilst youre keepin up the fire you're a-blrnia'
up the wood"
Prank L. Stanton, in Uncle Remus' Magazine.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
Ahnuf Time.
In Washington.

such a faux pas!"
What have I done?'
Invited line and staff people to the
same functioni"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
Woes of Woman.

"a spring hat without a spring is
mean"
SAY on
But a set OF handsome furs without a
winter is positively abominable"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02
A LITTLE NONSENSE.


WE'LL MISS HIM.
Muck rake
Weakling'
Reactionary!
Ted has supplied lot of jokes,
A lot of themes for funny folks.
Annaiasl
Mollycoddle!
Spelling ref0rm
When themes are scarce with funny men
'Tis Ted that starts US off again.
UndesirableE
Nature fakei
Surgeons In command!
When Ted no longer rules-eheu!-
What shall we funny fellows do?
About Time.
At last the drammer recognizes the inn
portance Of the toileT. as witness the fol-
lowing:
Nellie, the Beautiful Cloak Model"
Edna. the Pretty Typewriter
Bertha, the Poor Sewing Machine
Girl"
Elaine, the Elegant Cook Lady"
Others in preparation.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-02

Jose Bermudes de Castro, new al
tache Of the Mexican Embassy, has taken
/ quarters at La Normandie.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-10-22
BULGARIAN SITUATION.

The Bulgarian cabinet decided to re-
iect the proposal emanating from Lon
don for the payment of indemnity to
Turkey as a condition of recognizing
Bulgaria's independence.
Turkey fears Bulgaria's military &C
tivity will yet bring on war and de-
clines to be responsible for the re-
suit. Great Britain, France and Rus
STA agreed on a program to be sub
mitted to the other powers as basis
for the proposed conference.
Germany has assured Turkey she
will follow the lead of England In the
matter of the annexation of Bosnia and
herzegovina, SO that Australia Hungary
stands alone. The Servian govern
ment believes war will be avoided.
Prince Ferdinand, as the GEAR OF
the Balkans" made his triumphal en-
try into the capital amid scenes Of pa
triotic enthusiasm. Great Britain re-
ceded from her original position and Is
now willing that the proposed confer
ence of the powers to settle the crisis
In the near east shall take under ad-
Visement other questions in addition to
those involved in the annexation OF
Bosnia and Bulgarian independence.
Turkish cruiser and three torpedo
boats arrived at Salonih on the way
to the Island Of Samos, Grecian pos
session. This is Turkeys answer to
the proclamation by the Cretans OF
union with Greece.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-10-22
NEWS N0TES.
FOR THE
BUSY MAN
Most Important Happen
ings Of the World
Ted in Brief.
PERSONAL.

TGnoSfNNI-
President Roosevelt will visit Eng.
land after his African trip early in
1910. He will deliver the Romanes
lecture at Oxford and will receive the
honorary degree of d. c. l..
Rev. Francis ]. Mcconnell, Phi. D.,
pastor of the New York Avenue Meth
odist Episcopal church, Brooklyn, N.
Y, has accepted call to the presi-
dency of De Paw university, Green
castle, Ind.
Cortez, New, was arrested and
charged with embezzling $4,000 of the
funds of that office.
Clerk James McKenny Of the United
States supreme court celebrated the
fiftieth anniversary of his entering
the clerks office in Washington.
A message just received from DR..
Frederick A. Cook, written February
&c, says he was making a straight
line for the pole.
David w. Hill of Poplar Bluff, Mo-.
has resigned as candidate for the
Republican nomination for United
States senator.
Horace d. Taft, principal Of Tart
school at Watertown, Conn, and
brother of William H. Taft, refused a
nomination for representative in the
state legislature.
Harry K Thaw was sent back 10
Matteawan Hospital for the Criminal
Insane by order of Justice Mills Of the
New York supreme court.
Col. Ike II. Pryor Of San Antonio,
Tex, was elected chairman of the ex-
ecutive committee of the transmits
sissippi congress.
Audubon Republican. [volume] (Audubon, Iowa) 1894-1925, 1908-10-22
GENERAL NEWS.

Fifteen people lost their lives In the
burning Of a Detroit & Mackinaw
railway relief train which was carry.
ing inhabitants of the little village OF
Metz, 20 miles north Of Alpena, Mich,
to safety from the forest fires which
were sweeping away their homes. The
train was ditched by spreading rails
at Nowicki Siding, few miles south
Of Metz, and the the cars were burned,
IL women and children and four men
perishing. The forest fires in North.
ern Michigan were reported to be
raging with most disastrous results.
The German balloon Plauen, which
left Berlin in an endurance contest,
was picked up in the North sea by a
trawler. Clinging to the balloon were
the two aeronauts, Hackstetter and
Schneider, in an almost exhausted con
dition.
One man was drowned and Is per
sons were thrown into a panic when
the steamer New York Of the Albany
Day line was rammed by tug in the
North river.
Fire destroyed two big salt ware,
houses in South Chicago, ILL.,, the loss
being about s150,000.
John and Peter Bohli, brothers, OF
ingalls, Crossing, N. Y, were muir
dered by robbers.
In the fourth game of the worlds
baseball championship series, Chicago
defeated Detroit, 3 to 0.
Putnam county, Ohio, voted to re
tain saloons.
Louise H. Chamberlin. a sister o..
Perry S. Heath, former assistant post
master general and later editor of the
Salt Lake Tribune, was burned tc
death an Albuquerque, ~ M.
Thomas H,weil, aged 81, shot and
killed NJ s. Len Davis at Drummond
Mont.
A mob of many thousands Of per
sons, called together by the suffra
gettes, besieged parliament and kept
5000 London police busy for hours.
James s. Kennedy, a New Yorl
banker, has given s1,OO0.000 to tn,
Presbyterian hospital of that city o
which he Is president.
Harry Cahill, alias James Cole, SAID
| to be the son of an Alaskan delegate
in congress, was arrested by the Chi
cago police on charge of robbing {
bank at Ladysmith, Wis, of $4,000
Government chemists were said t.
have solved the problem of maxim,
paper from cornstalks.
The Pacific fleet, towing torpedo
beat destroyers, arrived at Honolulu
| from Samoa.
| The federal court at Pittsburg or
! dered the Matteawan asylum authorl
ties to produce Harry Thaw in TIL,
bankruptcy proceedings in the formel
city.