Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-04-02

sage tale
Gums rippin along In tn typewriter gale
Tn topics of yesterday. now an last
night
With snappers an cracks in their tails
gst u fright
tn quip and tn saw and tho thrice
twisted gag
Jump onto tn paper-Eit onto that wag!
Yew don't need u thought or u rhyme err
within
GIst Kit tn machine In a nno workin
trim:
Touch one of tn stops. an then laugh at
THIS dodgasted funny old typewriter
sings,
600 y
Scintlllations.
The mosquitoes bill always calls for
blood money.
A fellow always feels his oats after
he has taken his rye
A little wofisan sometimes gets =
man into big trouble
y IL 4
When praying for rain, TO be con.
sistent, carry an umbrella.
Too many women tell Joke the
same way they throw brick at cat.
y i =
When hold-up man with gun
asks for assistance he usually gets 1t.
Some men who give interviews to
the newspapers should write denial
OF the interview by first mail
Il u q
Thank goodness. the sleigh.rlding
rule of driving with one hand holds
over for carriage rides On moonlight
nights.
Before I say anything more about
the glad springtlme. want to know
rs the openwork fashion coming in
again.
a wise man traded horses with a
fool and the FOOLS horse ran away and
broke the wise mans neck Thus IS
true virtue rewarded.
q = Il
Who ever heard OF u hen laying two
eggs day? Why, then, should man
work overtime? Answer-Because the
man doesn't scratch his matches that
way!
y u =
When man is sick and in the hos
pital. 1t is surprising how few friends
he has who think enough of him to
waste an hour from business calling
on him.
q r 4
At twenty-one man starts in to re-
form the world. At thirty he has his
doubts about It, At forty no decides
tho world can't be reformed. At fifty
he Is busy hanging on by his eye
brows and letting the world reform
him!
600
Bed Covers.
II was the much-read Robert Inger-
soil who referred to Santo Domingo
as the country where one needed, as a
bed-quilt only a cloud. Occasionally
in the olden days. hobo would
wander into our newspaper Office and
ask for few exchanges. He was ar
ranging for his cloud. The difference
between his somnamtnilistic ar.
rangement and that designated by
Mr.. lngersoll was that he slept on hts
cloud instead OF under St. Having
panhandled "dookie" from some
charltably inclined housekeeper,
Weary Walker would proceed TO the
newspaper office to beg his bed. Thus
with bed end board. he was well pro
vided with Immediate wants. With
the "dooklo" inside him aud the pa.
per under him. to keep out the damp
ness and the cold, he would snooze in
some friendly boxcar until morning.
Did you ever see q crowd OF hoboes
at a 'shipwrecking"? For three con.
secutive years the hoboes over the
country, under the leadership OF
Charles F. Noe and Onion" Cotton
held conventions. The buns attended
in goodly numbers. and during each
convention many "shfpwrecks" were
duly celebrated. A "s9hipwreck" con.
sists OF all the fresh eggs obtainable
The shells are broken open and the
eggs are turned into pan, the yolks
floating unbroken in the whites
When the pan Is full or the eggs have
all been opened, some hero OF the
frowsy coterie grasps stick or rude
ladle and makes scrambled eggs OF
the floating islands. This ia termed
the "shipwreck." When the eggs
have been cooked they are dipped out
; and placed between slices of bread
and eaten as sandwiches.