davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
Judge Harmon-aud Others.

We are wondering whether the unterri-
fed Democracy is giving due considera-
ton TO the opportunity, now freely offer
cd II. Of having JudsOn Harmon of Ohio.
for It's standard bearer this year We
fear it is not. Judge Harmon has been
mentioned" for some time past, but we
have observed no evidences of a rush to
get into his band wagon. True. the Duck
worth Democratic Club indorsed him the
other day. and every week or so "a white
hot Harmon boomer breaks loose out in
Ohio but we believe it is an accepted fact
that one swallow doesn't make a summer.
Indeed, Judge Harmon seems TO be pro-
crossing toward the nomination no more
rapidly than Judge Gray. or Lieut. Gov.
Chanler, or any Of the others who have
been mentioned by anti Bryanites as a
part Of their vigorous efforts TO prevent
the inevitable
However, all Democrats should under
stand fully that Judge Harmon is theirs
for the asking. He admitted as much
when he was in Washington recently.
Later, on returning TO Ohio, he made his
position stu palmer. as witness this in a
dispatch from Cincinnati.
"Of course. / wsuld accept the nomination il it
came TO me. I suppose, That IS. / would not run
away from it, I know there Is a sentiment strong
ly in my favoF in Ohio, and that such sentiment
extends 20 other States 7 Of course. could not
help realizing shat on recent business trips here
and there"
OF course, this is a plain. unequivocal.
straightforward, manly statement we
suppose. If # isn't. Judge Harmon was
doubtless misquoted. As 10 whether or
not he is misinformed concerning the
amount Of sentiment for him in Ohio and
elsewhere we do not pretend to say, al
though it must be apparent to any in
telligent and unbiased observer that
Democratic opinion generally is so strong
y pro-Bryan as to make the Nebraskan's
domination certain barring a pouticaI
revolution between now and convention
time
Even il AIr. Bryan were eliminated. the
delegates who win gather at Denver next
summer viii not select q man who does
not agree with the former candidate on
the issues Of the day. From these issues.
Of course, government ownership of public
utilities is TO be excepted for reasons with
which everybody is familiar Neither. un-
der the circumstances referred to. viii
the Denver convention give the nomina-
ton to any man who was not regular"
IN 1896 and 1900. a nominee inimicaI to the
Bryan ideas to-day, or who trained with
Palmer and Buckner OF the Republicans
eight or twelve years ago, would have
no better chance Of winning the impending
contest than Judge Parker had Of winning
the last one. Despite Democracy's firmly
established reputation for lack of in
telligence. we think it viii be sensible
enough this year TO appreciate the force
Of the truths we have outlined. and 10
act accordingly. Possibly too it will
have sufficient aCumen To select q good
ViTile. straight-1ut Democrat for Vice
President-John a. Johnson preferred.
If the Denver meeting acts with ordi-
nary political common sense this year
the results may surprise a very con-
siderable number Of people
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

From the Indianapolis Star
II is probable that most Of the things
we think Of as having been forced On the
Democratic party by Bryan were held by
the party before he began to appeal SO
successfully TO it. It must never be for
gotten that before Bryan was nominated
at Chicago in 1896 thirty-three Democratic
State and Territorial conventions had de-
clarsd for free coinage and enough gold
delegates TO the Chicago convention had
been unseated to give the silver majority
tw0-thiTds of the votes
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
IF DEMOCRATS HAD DONE IT.
what Would Happen If Party Posi-
tiOns Were Reversed.

From The Columbia fs c. state.
We should hate 20 think what the
Republican party would do 20 the Demo
Gratis in the next election If the position
Of the two parties was reversed. To
speak in the vernacular, it would prob
ably be "a plenty"
Just think OF the ammunition that
would be at hand on the firing line:
Seven years Of prontless. unintelligent
malefactor batting. with not male
factor yet landed in jail; seven years
of wild, excited and Ioud-mouthed strug-
gle with the forces of predatory wealth. q"
with no better result to show for # all
than a sonseless and unreasonable panic
brought about in a year of big crops and
abundant material prosperity; 100O00 un-
employed in the city of New York alone.
with the prospect before the winter is
over OF the necessary establishment Of
the free soup kitchen. so dreaded by Do
utical parties; hard times. tight" money.
and large degree of business pessimism-
Just suppose that the Democrats had
been in power when all these things
came about. What a picnic for the Re
publicans. What a viewing with alarm
What a sOul-gatsfying and mouth-filling
opportunity for descantng upon Demo
cratic inefIiciency," Democratic radical
ism, Democratic fclly," and Democratic
everything else that IS bad. And what
final Democratic dull-thud in the next
election. The Republicans would wipe the
Democratic party off the map.
The Democratic party might. of course.
take equal advantage Of the political op-
p0rtunity offered-ir il would. But in
stead Of doing so il will probably spend
the most Of its time. energy. and talents
squabbling over Mr.. Bryan and trying
TO prove that this. that. or the other
dark horse" that nobody ever heard
or would make a better 'vote-getteT"
than the NebTaskan. If it could forego
this sort Of exercise and get down to bus
mess with the enemy, We might see next
November the remarkable spectacle of
Democratic success at the polls.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

in the land. the possibilities suggested by
the little item above noted should not go
unhe0ded Tame and trained snakes IN
the South would, We imagine, be an inno-
walton sure to become popular, II in
dulged IN along correct lines. Think what
a convenience such a thins would be
about the place when an immense thirst
seized upon one N Burning Birmingham,
for instance. Such snake would, in a
crisis, benigply and most accommod iting-
~ bne its owner. and then crawl to the
front door and guard the house against
intrusions nlon the part of policemen or
sherins charged with the enforcement
Of certain Drastic features Of the prohi-
bition laws recently enacted. such an ar
'rangement would be little short Of ideal,
as those thing go; indeed. not since the
first snake in al history introduced him
self to Mother Eve in the Garden of
Eden do we remember TO have heard of a
one possessing so timely a combination
of virtues as TINS Arizona product Not
only would he furnish his owner. upon
short notice. an indisputable reason for
taking a nip, but he would subsequently
take the situation in hand and keep of
trouble in the form of legal entangle-
ments. Ii that didn't make a hit in pro
hibltion settlements. we cannot imagine
what would
The Arizona farmer has inaugurated a
great movement. if snakes in the South
are as Intelligent, kindly disposed. and
benevolent as this far Western wonder
If they are. il viii not be many moons
before every Georgia, Kentucky. and Ala
bama colonel will keep his trained snake
as an honored member of the household
as indispensable as the mint bed and the
"0bej0yful'' itself
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
EpistoIarv Trust TERMINATION.

From the New York Evening Post
Senator Frazier would give the Presi-
dent power to suspend the duties of any
article whenever the same becomes the
product exclusively Of a trust" Would
it not be enough to confirm the present
Constitutional power Of the Chief Magis-
trate to write an open letter to the head
Of that trust?
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
Too, Too Much.

Mamma is talking Of closing her house
and coming 10 live with US. said Mrs.
Msrryat DO you think you could sup
port both Of u.s."
My dear" replied Mr.. Marryat, 4 can
support you very nicely alone. but Tn
afraid our mother would be insupport-
able"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

of them needed enlightenment from the
White House or the Presidents naval aid
on the subject
The submission Of this semi-offhciaI and
half-personal correspondence between a
naval officer and the President TO the
Alger hoard had an interesting effect. It
led to a very definite recommendation
concerning the titles of naval staff Off
GERS. It was promptly and emphaucally
reported that the only thing to be done in
the vexatous matter was to give naval
staff officers positive rank and actual
title The letters did nothing more than
TO bring the controversy one step nearer
a termination in favor of the naval staff
officers and the titles they want
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
Just the same Hours.

when a mans engaged 70 a girl said
Miss Singleton. his idea Of good hours
Is TO stay from o'clock until any time
after midnight"
Yes" replied Mrs Bridey and even
after marriage the hours are the same
The only difference is that in one case
they are hours with her and in the
other away from her"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
PouuIsr Text.

From the Detroit Free Press.
A Georgian minister gave notice that
he would preach from the text, "Ho, every
one that thirsteth" The church was
jammed even TO the exhaustion of stand
ing room, and there was a good-slzed
overflow trying 20 hear the call through
the windows,
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

Yes" Gussie was saying. 1T was the
first time 1 had mel him and he actually
called me a fool Hadn't been talking
70 him five minutes, either Say, what
kind Of fellow is he anyhow"
Well replied Knox. quietly, hes
ewfuliy slow. for one thing"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

named me Daniel
Franklin. Repre-
sentative Lafean is
a product of the
public schools Of
York. Pa when
he finished the
course he went
into active busi-
ness at once, and
has been engaged
in manufacturing
enterprises G v e T
since. He is a
manufacturer of
caramels, largely
interested in a
creamery. presi-
dent OF the Secur-
ity Title and Trust
Company. director
Of the Pennsylva-
1ia College and
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
No One To- RInme.

oh well" began Dudley mistakes
VIII happen some times"
Mistakes" put in Wiseman, always
happen.
What do you mean2'
L mean that nobody ever admits max
ing mistakes. therefore they merely hap
pen
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

From the New YORK World.
New England tobacco growers are re-
solving on political decapitation" for
Massachusetts, or Connecticut members
in Washington VINO dare to think of tariff
fayors for planters in the Philippines
As demonstrated by this and other in
stances, the understanding is that we
have a government of the people by the
tariff for the protected industries.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
Patching the Human Body.

From the Brooklyn Eagle
The time may come when we can all
be built over in sections, like a boys
jackknife; but for the present It is safer
to take pretty good care Of the vital
organs we have. II may be five or six
years yet before we can order a new sup
ply from the Rockefeller Institute by tele-
nhODp
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
Getting Nearer to Hail

From the Baltimore American.
Now that g banker has actually been
arrested on a charge Of irregular f1nan-
ciering. the radical remedy Of putting
highly placed criminals in Jail appears 10
be a step nearer in the radical programme
of reform.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
All settled.

Father, said Miss strongley. 81 wish
you would stay in this evening. Mr.. slo-
man Will want to speak 10 you"
All exclaimed her father ''be has
proposed az last, eh2"
NO she replied, with determined
air, but he VIII tonight"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
Prison for Gamblers.

From the Philadelphia Inquirer
Imprisonment instead Of fines for gam
bling is Gov. Hughes idea Why, certainly.
The loser is now fined more heavily than
justice would do it, but that doesn't stop
gambling
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

Prom the Chicago News
How about the foundations of the
British empire with the London Times
In the hands of the frivolous?
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

From the PIttsburg Dispatch
Secretary Taft advises 11O-foot locks for
the accommodation of the navy. and we
presv me Of Justice Harlan's large ideas
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

MIR. Taft would be an ideal Republican
candidate. Think of the Fat that could be
fried out of him" says the Charleston
News and Courier. Candidates are never
fried: they are roasted
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
CAPITOL GOSSIP.

MY parents couldn't get away from
that old name Of Franklin" said Repre-
sentative Lafean, of Pennsylvania, 80. Of
course, they, having hopes for their boy,
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
a THOUSAND MILES.

A thousand miles between MS, Sweet,
OF wooded slope ard plain.
Of rugged road and city street,
OF human joy and pain.
A thousand miles Of world apart.
And yet mine eyes look through,
While al the music Of my heart
Is calling Just for you.
In that soft hour at evening bell
Incline a willing ear,
And maybe, Sweet--ah. who can tells
1olT eager soul viii ,hear
John Randolph Sudm
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
NIodrrn EntrrtnininE,

SAY" yelled Mr.. splurge, TO the guest
who was about to attack sandwich.
We'll. sir"
Cant you eat ham? Them chicken
sandwiches Is rented fer the evening"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
An InsubstantIaI Wennon,

From the Richmond Times Dispstch
We now begin. TO believe that the Big
Stick is hollow inside
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
The Ha Ha Was on Rinnie.

MiP1chaha was kneading the dough.
UneXpeCtant Of s0TrOW or wuuEh +.
TIE TampOse began bsWiinF.
and the bread pan. IN fawling.
Crushed the Indian corn On her tough,
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

There is no room for difference of
opinion concerning the gross improperly
Of Admiral Brownson's resigning." said
Mr.. Roosevelt, in that famous letter:
but about nineteen-twentieths Of the
press Of this country appear to have
found room TO differ from his ipse dixit.
all the same.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
a LITTLE NONSENSE.
TEMPUs FUGITss

TEMPUS FIGITSs
Seems but a day
Has passed away
Since writer's had their fling,
And you and I
How time does flyi-
Were kicking at the spring.
A year has flown.
Where has it gone?
Life is a fieeting thing.
Soon once again
VIII mortal men
Be kicking at the spring.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

Gov VaTdaman is going on the lecture
platform. notwithstanding Mississip pi' s
contrary disposition, the gentleman IS still
convinced that he possesses Senatorial
Qualifications
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
as TINT Ny work ~

''He was quite a good man, but we had
to let him go"
"Why?'
ours is general business. and he had
his official duties too carefully defined
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

"WhO was GainsbOrough2
"An artist who depicted astonishing
hats"
He died too soon"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

We arise to insist that that Kentucky
Senatorial deadlock be broken with 'Marse
Henry"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

From the Cleveland Plain Dealer
II the punishment could be made TO ft
the crime, the man who satirized the
grip would get II.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

Would you commit the mOnStrOus
crime Of voting for a man who dares own
a buggy?" inquiries the Knoxville Senti-
mel Certainly; in fact it is an American
privilege often exercised to vote for men
who are actually buggy themselves
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

A Pennsylvania newspaper writer re-
ferred to the ''spouting" editor of the
Congressional Record. but explained
next day that he meant sporting" But
for the timely explanation, very few peo-
pie would ever have suspected he had
made a mistake in using the frst-quoted
word
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

And another thing; what inducement is
there for a man 10 60 fishing now asks
the Atlanta Georgian. Can IL be possible
that il Is really ard truly that bad in dear
old JaWiaW?
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

The guess as to the cost Of the Panama
Canal has been increased 800 10000. and
this is one guessing contest not yet finish
ed 10y a long shot
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

A New York man has Just given his
daughter a $4,000 Contingent" party.
thus raising a Philadelphia father $4,000
Evidently the panic is over
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

The next time Mark Twain is invited
I'm on the ground floor of some near
financial skyscraper. doubtless he will lose
precious little time taking the elevator
for the roof garden.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

yes, admitted the nurse, Il married
one of my steady patients"
so rOmantic!'
Romantic, but foolish. Formerly I got
good wages. Now 1 nurse him for my
board
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

The only party TO the Helie-Boni war
that ought to be fined anything at all is
the butcher who interfered and stopped
the show before it was half over.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
Deeme,I I'm sfInrr.

Il love my love in the sprlngtime, ="
warbled he.
Good plan" sneered she. "Then the
theaters are closing and you can pick
your own flowers"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

II is pointed out that Queen Elizabeth
had eighty sets Of false hair; but you
can bet your good money nobody ever
mentioned the fact more than once in her
day and time
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

A japanese firm wants to bid for the
construction of our coast defense In
Hawaii. The Japs appear to have the
gentle art Of Kidding down fine.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
NOTHING SERIOUS.

From the Philadelphia Press
Quite Likely.
ave thought said the reporter. you
might care 90 say something about these
charges against you"
mo" replied the crooked public official,
Il believe that silence is golden.
We'll. replied the reporter. perhaps
the public might believe it's merely gilt
in this case"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

After thirty years Of prohibition and
ten years of Carrie Nation Kansas is 10
have one year Of prayer" says a con
temporary Well, Kansas is entitled TO If
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

II Rue and Schmitz get out Of jail on a
fimsy technlcality. people VIII naturally
think that California justice is not only
blind. but deaf. dumb. and raving crazy
as we'll
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

a Washington newspaper SAYS that
city is In for reform. says the BiTming-
ham News. a number of Washingtonians
fear reform" has il In for them
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
TINT she PROPOSED.

you claim to love me. Jane?'
Il do
And yet you won't marry me?
Not this year. John. I amt going 10
have people saying"
: Then he understood.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

Fm the simon-pure article among opti-
mists. commend as 70 the Greenville IS.
c. News THE legislature is always a
blessing" says that esteemed contem-
DOrarv
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16
How to AdvertIse .

This scheme, my friend. Is great.
You ought 10 try IT,
Some well-known man berate,
And then deny f.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

Senator Dick says he is for Foraker
first and last which is all right, II the
thing doesn't sag in the middle.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

A Miss Money, Of Montana, has married
a Mr. Spender, OF New York Here is a
homo wedding designed strictly along in
ternational lines.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

In discovering that Congressman Hob
son makes good newspaper copy The
Washington Herald leaps at a bound into
the class with Columbus As a discOverer. -
says the san Antonio Express. Avast
there. shipmate, The Herald said Capt.
H0bson Is destined 10 be a good source
OF newspaper copy" not "a source OF
good yspaper copy
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

The party who inquired of Speaker Can
non. do you dr.nk?" Is We have no
doubt the same individual who invites
you 10 dine by suggesting. Come around
some time and break bread with me"
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

I'VE trust that the rheumatism which
affects Admiral Evans ankle viii not
spread to his vocabulary says the Hart
ford Times Like Uncle Sam" wnen he
had done expanded" We suspect that
rheumatism has done spIead."
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

A large section Of VesUviUs' crater caved
in few days ago. 1t would he a great
thing if a few human Vesuviuses would
take a tumble 10 themselves
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

Count cza-Zsch-Szzk-well anyhow.
he says il is a pure love match" At
the same time. of course. be doesn't deny
ne needs the money.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

Don't these foreign counts and things
have ladylike names-Helie, Boni. Maria.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

StiH. we hardly think Mr.. Cleveland
need worry for fear some one may turn
down the Presidency some day because
there is no pension aftermath provided.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

New York Representative OVERWHELMING
SPECIAL AGENCY, Tribune Building
Chicago Representative, CHARLES A. BARNARD.
Boyce Building.
The Washington herald., 1908-01-16

Capt. ]. F. Ellison. Of Cincinnati. sec
rotary of the National Rivers and Hor-
bors Congress. Is in Washington TO con-
suit with Representative Joseph Z. Rams
dell, president OF the organization. on
matters pertaining TO the work Of the
congress.
Our convention here last month lent
remarkable stimulus to the question Of a
national policy of waterways improve
ment.' said Capt Ellison last night at
the Riggs House. we had more than
1900 delegates at the New Willard meet
ing. hailing from every section OF the
country and these have returned to their
homes enthusiastic over the prospects.
L have received word that the people
Of the State Of Mississippi have organ
lied an auxiliary association to ours, and
are going TO affiliate with our national
body. The meeting which was held in
Jackson was presided over by Gov. Var
daman. The governor told his people Of
the necessity existing for an unselfsh
campaign for the furtherance OF the gen
eral scheme of not less than 100000 a
year for improvements. and pointed to
the attitude Of the National Rivers and
HarbOrs Congress. You know We are
for policy. not project, and refuse to
recognize any individual scheme Of bet
teFment
Capt. Ellison will leave here tomorrow
for indianapolis, where ne viii be one Of
the speakers at a big waterways eonven-
ton scheduled for that city. Although
an inland town indianapolis understands1
thoroughly. according to Capt. Ellis
the advantages that viii accrue to
merchants and business men through
medium Of added means Of transpQ
uon.