davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12
POLES NEXT WEEK
La Petit Revue, Introducing a Company of Eight People Miss shipman and MT.
 McGi)l in a Sketch.

Chas boycnbergs I,H Petit Revue, an old idea twentieth centuryi2cd and made modern win ho the hcadlincr or tlc poli bill next week. lt introduces a company Of eight people, and will be review Of the stags celebrities of the day as we'll as snatchss from old operas whicn are condensed into de- ligbful littlo spectaclcs, The lyrics and music of the act nave been writ ten by Charles Lovonbors, who is . musician of note and who gave vaude- villo such promising acts as TAc Tus- cany Trouha lours' and The Six American dancors,' both tremendous hits on tha po'i circuit
 The Chimes of Normandy and PIna- fore are given aNl the finale "Thr Slumbcrless 5ercnado,' complete q splendid production
 Meredith sisters tha maids whn mado ilawatha famous, are to ho tho additional roatWes of the program, with an entirely new set in the sing ina speciality line and one that Is sure to hc or iNtrrrst
 Local devo' of tho thcatcra will ha pleased 'o learn of the return of Miss Gertrude ShipNan tho former RJou stock stan 'who has been dp- bearing in comedy sketch entitled Wanted. A Cook" by Elgar Alien Woolr. wno has also just written a drama vh'rl Is to he presented in Now York city, Miss shipman has q carefully selected company, Including Arthur Siduou and Lawrence P. Me- Gu The sketch has met with anor- nous uCcrse,
 Reynolds and ponogau late pf the
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12

Mrs. ]. Gamaby is i'll at her homa on West Elm street with tonsiltis.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12
NEWS OF TIE LOCAL THEATERS
GO MING TO GRAND
Hello, Bill, on tho Boards for Next Thursday, Friday and saturday--An Uproar-
 ious Farce.

Willis Maxwell Goohue, the author
 Of the uproarious farce oHeuo, Biu'
 which comes to the Grand opera
 house Thursday Friday and Saturday
 of next week, is a man of many and
 varied experiences in the theatrical
 profession Judging from inc many
 moments of merriment he has Imbuad
 into this laugh provokcr and mirlh
 dispenser he naturally k filled with
 many delightful tales of adventure,
 'One day several seasons ago, while
 making the tour of the Pacific coast"
 he related recently I've encountered
 one of those usual occurrences--a
 washont on the line. En route to one
 of the larger cities of California we reached a little place along tho lno
 called Noun Vernon, stecn miles from anywhere and there we stayed, not
 for day, but for a week.
 The enterprisng manager Of the company decided he would get busy
 and visiting the local print shop hastily struck off a herald to advise the local deniaens of the forthcoming event In local theatricals. The man sger arranged to give tho perform ance In the school house, the only available place. Each male member of the company was given an armrul of the heralds and by careful manlpu- latlon the attraction was well adver- tised
 The night of the performance the various members repaired to the school house and prepared themselves About o'clock the enterprising man ager began to grow impatient because there had arrived not enough of an audience to pay the printing bills. Upon his remarking to one of the members that the prospects looked rather discouraging and that he doubted whether it would be worth while to proceed with the evenings entertainment, he was enlightened that no doubt tAe public were waiting until the town bell was rung as was
 always customary
 Well, you should have seen the ex- pression on the managers face. He gave one yell, and said, Where's the bell, old pal we'll get busy" Being properly directed he made hurried
 exist and If you have ever in your ex- perience in rural districts heard the town bell ring, he certainly did 1t to
 tho queens taste. He hurrIedly re-
 turned and amidst smiles and forid complexion covered with beads of | precipitation, he waited. But few mo-
 ments passed when the patrons began
 coming. Before twenty minutes had
 passed the school was packed. The
 funniest part of It was however, that
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12

mon at lO:SO; Sunday school 12 m; r P. S. C. E 6.30 D. m.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12
"King Cpscv."

A little plot a little music, some pretty girls bright comedy lines and clever comedians, all mixed together and served continuously for two and one-half hour, w1ile occasionally looking at a paper commonly called a program, is guaranteed as sure cure for blues. This s Of course, providing that the connection bears the title of King Casey, and an nounces the appearance of the Rays
 Johnny and Emma, This afternoon and evening again.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12

Methodist church. Morning sermon IO.SO q. m; Sunday school 12 m. Ju- nior Epworth league, 8:S0 D. m; Senior Epworth league 6;3O D. m, evening service 7:30 o'clock.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12

Anna Held show and who are consid cred tho champion roller skaters ot t1c world, will he the novolt, feature Of tho hill. McNish and rcnHcld. the jolly two; Mcrscillos, tho European exponent of gymnastIc work; Phil Bennett, the famous Italian street singer, and tho oloctrograph with the special sertes, latest style aIrshlp and cumbersome hahy
 Seat. now selling for all week.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12

tho Trinity Episcopal church choir con- sistiue or forty mon and ooys under the direction of Prof Harry j. Reada, 4 feature of the meeting will he h" singing by tho audience. led hy Prof Rea1o al the organ and Allen T. te9ne at the piano The mo ting Will heG!n promptly al 3So o'clock but the door will open at o'clock The meeting win be undor the auspices or tbe Y M C. A.. assisted by mon from tne var on churches of the city Al men are cor diaNI invited to he present Adm4s sion is free
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12

Active road building ir Turkey and of American automobiles arc expected to result from the imperial llrade that permitted motoring ln the ottoman em- pire American automohillsits and mo torcyrllsts are already showing q dc. afro 10 tour by automobile through European md hs,atic Turkey. on the Asiatic side of tho Bosrorus arr long stretches cf good roads
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12

during tho first act no ono laughed, and during the intermisslon one citi- Zen ambled up with the remark Say, mister that show Is a corker anl 1t make me most forgi myself and laugh The manager invited them all to laugh f. they wanted to-and they did Can you beat that?"
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12

The entertainment which was given in the Methodist church by the I. r. dramatic club under the auspices of the Epworth league, "wednesday night was great success, After the enter tainment lee cream and cake was on sale and a social hour enjoyed.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12
NASHVILLE.

st. James Episcopal church. Holy Communion a. m; morning prayer and sermon at t0:30; Sunday school l2 m, the Rev. Mir Sexton will preach a sermon at 7:30 D. m, to New Haven commandery, No. 2, Knight Tempars.
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12

Congregational church. Morning ser
The morning journal-courier., 1908-12-12

George V Smith. superintendent of the Westville grammar school has re- turned to his home on Forest street, after few weeks vacation with friends in New York state,
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
A Mexican Tradition.

"Boys, what's the matter? Fever!
Die, then; die, then" That's the sons
the doves sing down in old Mexico
when a native has penumonia, and
almost invariably he lies down, refuses
to swallow the medicine prescribed by
the physician. resigns himself to his
fate and in a few weeks he dies. The
dove. however, sings the song in Span.
ish. It is a tradition among the Mex.
leans that once the fever accompany.
ing an attack of pneumonia seizes
them it is necessarily fatal, and be.
cause of this all medicine and all ply.
sicians are refused and the Mexican
usually dies. The dove brings the
story Of death in its weird cooling, &C.
cording to the belief of the natives,
and many who have been seized with
the fever who otherwise might have
recovered have succumbed owing to
their belief in the tradition. That Is
the reason, it is said, why penumonia
is fatal to so many Mexicans.--New
York Herald.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
The -
Scrap Book
Who Had the Best Show?

During a session of the Pennsyl.
vania legislature IA we'll known mem
Der was made head Of a state depart.
ment. AS there were a large number
Of lucrative positions in his department
he was besicged by congressman OH
behalf Of their friends who wanted
good, fat jobs.
Messrs. Jones. Smith and Brown
were all applicants for the same posi-.
ton, and their claims were equally
pushed Finally two representatives
who were for Brown went to the new
executive and asked how the contest.
ants stood.
"1ts this way" was the reply.
"Jones is a good man, and the corpora
lions and the judiciary are with him;
Smith is a fine fellow and is backed by
the newspapers and the people general.
", and your friend Brown is an excel.
lent young man. who is being pushed
by the politicians and the members OF
the legislature"
"Well. but who has the best show?"
asked n of the friends.
IF you won't repeat it." was the an.
swcr, II will tell you"
Both promised.
"Earnum & Bailey."-Ladies' Home
Journal.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
FRIEND DEATH.

1 LEA IL.
Friend Death" quoth he. "a moment
TIL have finished my score with life,
Who has fooled and cheated me all the
way
With n witlcss strife.
Friend Death quoth he, "a moment
stay.
| have a duty yet to do.
There is the devil still to pay
A good, stiff reckoning too.
Friend Death quoth he, "a moment
stay.
What of my wife and little one?
l must warn them well while yet it is day
OF the setting sun
Friend DEATH quoth he. "a moment
A drink and a kiss for luck at the last.
l was ever one for a daring play,
F, Stakcd all or a cast.
Friend DEATH" quoth he. "a moment
stay.
must have time to think on God.
Surely you give one time to pray
So soon a clod.
Friend DEATH quoth he, "a moment
stay.
1t will all be over SO soon, so soon.
l hear the pipes of my boyhood play
An old. old tune.
"Friend Death" quoth he, "oh. friendly
Death,
The music is calling and l am fain-
Fain for the home where l first drew
breath
And my mother again"
-R. w. Gilbert in "Goldenrod and Lilies.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
The ONLY EXCLAMATION.

Old Mrs. Smith was q chronic com.
palmer and was constantly sending for
the family physician and giving him a
list Of her fancied ailments. He al.
ways listened quite patiently, but was
getting a little tired Of hearing the
same things yer and over.
One day when the old lady ccasid-
cred herself in an unusually bad way
she sent for the doctor and, after 60.
ing over the usual list, ended by say
ing: REALLY, doctor, l do not know
what in the world is wrong With me.
I can neither lay nor set"
The doctor looked at her q moment,
then said in a solemn tone, MADAM,
you must be a rooster."-Kansas City
Independent.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
this f~unctio,ary. why was I called a

this functionary. why was I called a
this unearth.y hour?"
II don't know. sir" replied TIL
clerk, "but I'll ask Pat. Pat wa
summoned. Said the clerk: Pat. Their
was no call for this gentleman. VIII,
did you waken him."
Pat led the clerk to one side and sal,
in a mysterious whisper: "He wo
snorin' loike a horse, sor, an Or,
heerd the bhoys sayin' somethin' abou
how he wor wanst afther shlapin' 70
twinty years. SO OF says to mesilt
It's a-comin' unto i'm ag'in, an it,
yer July to git the crayther out O. We
house at wanst.'"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
No Sentiment.

No Sentiment.
Ono day in Geneva Ira n. Sankey
entered a music box shop and asked
to see some music boxes. The sales
man graciously showed him a num-
Der, but none was what he wanted.
Have you III that play sacred
music?" he asked.
why answered the salesman, I'VE
have some that play a kind Of half
way sacred muslc.'
"What?" inquired Mr.. Sankcy.
ooh. these Moody and Sankey
hymns. l can't imagine what the peo-
pie see IN them, but we sell thousands
Of the boxes that play them. We have
enormous orders for these boxes" con
tinueu the salesman. from every part
Of Europe" and then he added apollo
| getically. Its Il matter OF business
YOU know. with us"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
Her Ace at Monte Carlo,

A fashionable French lady who had
lost heavily at Monte Carlo entered the
gaming saloon while a former friend
of hers was winning In a sweeping
style that seemed destined to break the
bank.
Il am so glad to see you here, prince,
and in such luck, tOO!' she exclaimed.
do tell me a lucky number. 1t is sure
to win, for you are now in the vein."
The prince generously placed n pile
of gold louis before the vivacious lady,
whose beauty had successfully defied
the effects of thirty-siX winters, and
said:
put it all on the number Of your
years and reap a golden harvest"
The lady reelected, hcsitated and then
placed the pile on twenty-seven.
An instant later the croupier sang
out:
'Thirty-siX red wins!'
"ueavens"." muttereu the lady as she
tainted. 'T~hirty-siX is exactly my
age"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
SAVING the Landlord.

Joseph jefferson was playing a n
night engagement in a small town, ap-
pearins in the part Rip Van Wrinkle,
which he had 50 often aud ably imper-
sonatcd. At the hotel where he stayed
there was an Irishman who acted as
general assistant. Judged by the great
interest he manifested in the hotel, he
might have been taken to be the pro
prietor. At about Il quarter to 6 IN the
morning Mr.. jefferson was startled,
not to say alarmed. by a violent
humping on his door. When he rec
objected that he had left no orders 10
be called so early. he WAS naturally
indignant. His sleep was banished for
that morning. however. so he arose
and soon made his appearance before
the clerk.
'Iiook here. | say" he demanded OF
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
He Was Dipped.

Charles Lamb had been told by his
physician to take a course of sea bath
ing. AS he descended the steps Of the
bathing machine in the shallow water
the cold increased his natural STAN
mer, and it took him a long while to
inform two stout attendants that he
was to be "didi-di-di-dipped"-
lmpatiently they ducked him, and.
coming w spluttering in their embrace,
he began. "Oncc more | tell you l am
to be ~dididi'- and down he went
again. The third time he stormed: "ls
1t mum.um-u murder you meme mean?
| tell YOU I'm to be di-ai'-
And then. after the third ducking:
"Oh, limbs of Satan. It's now too late.
l tell you that l am-no. that | was-to
he di-di-di-dipped only once'"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
An Effective Role.

A farmer was anxious that his son
should become n minister, and for this
laudablc end he sent him to college for
pointmcnt the youth baked ut the min
istry and set himself up rs Il horse
trader. The old farmer told his grief
to Il neighhor. who. however, took a
more optimistic view of the matter.
"Oh, I wouldn't feel SO badly about
that he said. AS n boss trader Bill
will probably lead more men to re
pentancc than he ever would have
done as a preacher
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
Fixity Of Purpose.

The man who succeeds hove his
fellow is the one who early in life
clearly disccrns his object and toward
that object habitually directs his pow
ers. Even genius itself is but fine
observation strengthened by tiXity of
purpose. Every man who observes
viSilantly and resolves steadfastly
Rulwer-Lytton.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
Voluntarily.

Voluntarily.
Did | understand you to say that
this boy voluntarily confessed to run
ming away?" asked a truant officer, a ID
dressing the determined looking fe-
male parent OF a small and dirty boy.
"Yes. sir. he did" the woman re-
spondcd 81 just had TO persuade him
a little, and then he told me the whole
thing voluntarily"
How did you persuade him?'
Qucried his worship.
well, first | gave him Il good lick,
ing" said the firm parent, land then
I put him to bed without supper, and
took his clothes away and told him
he'd stay in bed TIL he confessed what
he'd done, if twas the rest Of his days.
and I should lick him again in the
morning. And in less than half an
hour he told me the whole story vol
unfairly"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16

Compliments.
Judge Story and Edward Everett
were once the guests Of honor ut 4
BANQUET. The former as a voluntary
toast gave the following:
Fame follows merit where Everett
goes"
The gentleman thus dclicately com
plimenteu at once arose II replied
with equally frlicitous impromptu:
ITO whatever height judicial learn
ing may attain in this country the's
will always he one Story higher"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
Respectable

Responsibility Is Il very good thing
in it's way, but it does not rise SUI
perior to all considerations. would
not for Il moment venture to hint that
it was a matter Of taste. But l think
l will go as far as this-that If a po-
sition is admittedly unkind, uncom-
Portable, Unnecessary and s%uperfluous-
ly useless. although 1t were as re-
spectacle us the Church Of England,
the sooner Il man is out of it the better
for himself and all concerned.-Robert
Louis Stevenson.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16

morning when Fred Holmes and
Phoenix we're both arrested by Deputy
Sheriff Dart of Dillon. Dart stated
that Holmes and Phoenix have an
alleged cache of the heads and entr ails
of cattle, in which the officers dis
covered the heads of more than SO
alleged stolen cattle.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
A Legal Opinion.

A Legal Opinion.
Roscoe Conkling came into Charlie.
O'Conor's Office one day in a nervou;
state.
"YOu seem to be very much excited.
Mr.. Conkling," said Mr.. O'Conor as
Roscoe walked up and down the room
Eyes, I'm provoked-I am provoked
said Mr.. Conkling. II never had a eli.
ent dissatisfied about my fee BEFORE"
"Well what's the matter?"
"Why l defended Gibbons for arson,
you know. lie was convicted. but I
did hard work for him. I took him to
the superior court, and he was con-
victed; then to the supreme court, and
the supreme court confirmed the judg-
ment and gave him ten years. l charged
him 5000, and Gibbons is grumbling
about it; says it is too much. Now.
Mr.. O'COnor, l ask you was that too
muchT"
"Well," said O'ConOr very deliberate
iy, "of course you did 4 great deal of
work. and $500 is not 4 big fee; but, to
be frank with you. Mr.. Conkling, my
deliberate opinion is that he might
have been convicted for less money"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
y x IT. * y

Nc one knows Hattes age except the maker, who says it is be-
tween one and eight years, and has sent us the age in a sealed envelope.
From now until the night of December oath, with every CASH PUR-
CHASE Of Fifty Cents a card will be given the purchaser with which
to register their guess on the big dolls age. The night of December
oath the sealed envelope will be opened, and the one guessing nearest
the sealed age will be given the doll.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
Equal to the Occasion.

equal 10 tne OCCASION.
In 1910 a great convention was held
in Baltimore by the young men of
what was then known as the Wing
party for the purpose Of ratifying the
nomination Of General William Henry
Harrison for the presidency. There
a no hall in the city large enough
to hold The crowd Of delegates who
attended. The convention according
~ met on the Canton race track. and
when the great Wing orator Of Mary
land, who was chairman of the young
mems national committee, arose to call
the meeting to order he was so i'm
pressed by the vastness Of the assem-
blage before him that instead of the
usual formula he exclaimed, 'The ma.
ton will please come to order"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-12-16
prints All the News

II any reader of the RIVER PRESS
considers it worthy OF recommendation
to friends, the favor will be very high
u appreciated by its publishers,
Arizona republican., 1908-07-29
GOATS

profitable branches the live n like they hardy and breed rapidly Coats stock in fromS gold A O annually S a he
  period valued $5Ss1 usually sold by the carcas $225"
 
    to profitable
Arizona republican., 1908-07-29
MARKETS

advantage good
  in trusts or rcombi ationsm markets. advantage being
  ri or expense for Government limited only  specific
The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1908-11-17
NAVAL OFFICERS WIFE
LOSES MNY JEWELS

Mrs. Castor, wife of a naval officer,
who is travelling to Manila on the trans
port Sheridan, lost bag containing her
jewels and some money on Thursday
afternoon, between the Channel wharf
and the postofiice. She rode in an au-
tomobile driven by Mrs. Charles b.
Cooper and the handbag containing the
jewels evidently slipped from her lap,
as she can account for its loss in no
other way. AS near as sne can remem-
Der the bag must have slipped out while
near the Honolulu Iron Works on Allen
street.
In the black leather bag was khaki
bag and inside this were chamois skin
and silk sacks containing rings, neck
laces, pins--in fact all Mrs. Castor's
jewelry. Many of the jewels are priced
more for their associations than their
value. There was a solitaire diamond
ring, one with three rubies set in
circle with smaller diamonds between,
sapphire surrounded by diamonds in
a platinum setting, another set with
three pearls and still another contain
ing very large pearl. A string of
pearls and diamond and ruby pendant
in French setting, are also among the
lost gems.
AS Mrs. Castor leaves for Manila to-
day efforts have been redoubled on the
part of friends and the police to trace
the missing gems.