davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20
SPOILED THE SCENE.
When KimbaII Pointed the Way to
His Own Future.

His Own Future.
AS q delineator of the traditional
Yankee character Matthias Currier
Kimball, more widely known as Yam
kee Glunn, long stood without rival.
Away back in the early forties, when
he was a mere lad, q little incident
with Junius Brutus Booth, the elder,
started him In his career. Kimban
was only II years old at the time and
was at work as an usher in the Low
ell museum. Booth, who was then In
the zenith of his power and fame, was
billed there for three nights. The play
was Richard Ill" Kimball had thor
oughly studied the play and was con-
sidered young man of promising dra-
matte ability. On the opening night
the actor who took the part Of Lord
Norfolk failed to show up. Booth was
In despair. At last some one suggested
that young Kinball knew the lines Of
that part, and he was cast for 1t by
Booth.
Of the event Kimbal1 himself said:
l.
~ ratified Booth was imperious and
stern, which only complicated matters.
However, / got along all right until
we came to the battle of BOswOrth
Field. In my hurry 1 had taken the
wrong place on the stage, when Booth
Kissed out in whisper, Get into your
place. Then wheeling around he pro
nounced these words in thrilling tones:
What thinkest thou, now, noble Nor
folkY That we shall conquer, my
lord was my reply, but on my tent
this morning early was this paper
found Booth was marking out the
plan Of battle on the sand. When
had finished the lines, he drew his
sword and with terrific force struck
the paper from my hand, saying, "A
weak invention Of the enemy!s
81 was thoroughly frightened at his
fearful expression and lodged back,
nearly falling to the floor. Booth then
repeated the words:
!" What thinkest thou, Norfolk, if the
pardon was offeredY
"By this time 1 was completely rat
tied and forgot my lines. Booth stood
glarlng at me like tiger. The audi
ence were holding their breath for the
next turn of affairs. Suddenly 1 real
lied that something must be done.
My nerve returned, and think 1t must
have been the devil that prompted me
to balance myself on one foot and
drawl out with Yankee twang:
"'Well, don't know, Mr.. Booth. It
may work.
Instantly the whole house was In
an uproar. AS shout after shout OF
laughter went up the black cloud on
Booths brow relaxed, and, wheeling
on his heel, he left the stage, shaking
his sides with merriment. After the
play was over he came to nae and,
placing his hand On my shoulder, said
in fatherly tones: Young man, you
never played tragedy before, did your
Without waiting for reply he contin.
ued: Take my advice and never at
tempt 1t again. You are a natural
comedian. Take a Yankee character
and become identified with it, and fame
and fortune will be yours And fol-
lowed his advice"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

II would seem that Mrs. Humphrey
Ward has as yet encountered In Amer
lea no one with the courageous friend
illness to explain to her gently but
firmly that her innocent references to
the american peasant" are calculated
to make the judicious grieve. They In
dictate what, If one dared hazard such
an impertinence, might be called a
bland, early Victorian ignorance of
America which shows how little Mrs.
Ward has read Of Mr.. Howells, how
little she has gathered from Mrs. Free
man, Mr.. Wister, or any Of the dis
tinguished realists she so glibly names.
''The American peasant" Imagine one
Of the Yankee farmers in Mary WI
kins novelette, addressed as a peasant.
We guarantee there would be some
echoes Of ''the shot heard round the
world" right there, while the applica-
ton of such an epithet to any Of the
f1ourishing models from which Mr.. Wis
ter drew would be extremely hazardous
in their habitat. 1t is to be feared
Mrs. Wards easy references to Mrs.
Freeman's and Mr.. Wister's creations
denote not so much an acquaintance
with them as a knowledge Of the pres
ence in her audience of their creators
This is an amiable device Of public
speakers, and in this case 1t explains
why Mrs. Ward so ingenuously cites
work that conclusively shows the non
existence OF the subject Of her dis
course But Mrs. Ward has been in
Washington recently, and she undoubt-
edly was enlightened there by some
OF the several hundred friends of the
American farmer" Perhaps 1t has been
revealed to her that he is not only not
a peasant" he is the great American
sovereign, the boss Of the country. His
wife patterns her attire after the city
modes, his daughter marcels her hair
and knows all about Ethel Barrymore,
and his son is a varsity man to a con-
siderable degree. If there are any
American peasants in America Mrs.
Ward is the sole custodian Of their Sc
cret whereabouts. In America we feel
assured that, like the celebrated Mrs.
'Arris, there amt no SIGH person"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

A few weeks ago there occurred in
one Of our New England factory towns
an event Of peculiar significance in
these days Of grave and perpleXing la
Dor problems 1t was the funeral OF a
factory worker-an old woman who
had never in her life received more
than a dollar and a half a day. III
1851 she entered the employ OF the COM
pany, and In the forty-six years since
that time had missed but five days
from her machine. When, after long
service, the company offered to retire
her, she refused. When they wished
to raise her pay she refused again, say
Ing that her work was worth no more
than she was receiving. Resolving less
than FIVE hundred dollars a year, she
had worked happily, lived contentedly,
and even saved a goodly sum. When
she died, the factory was closed for an
entire day, and its officers, from the
president down, and the thousand en-
ployes followed her to her grave. In an
age when the material demands Of life
are increasing so rapidly that yester-
days luxuries become to-day's necessi-
ties, 1t gives one pause to discover with
how small means the great things, Joy
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20
The oldest of professions.

An old friend Of the family had
dropped in to see young lawyer whose
father was still paying his Office rent
$50 you are now practicing law" the
old friend said, genially.
"No, sir" said the candid youth. 81
appear to be, but am really practicing
economy"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20
Cot the benefit.

"Oh, yes, Skinner was a beneficiary
under old Roxley's WILL"
'I didn't know he was q relative of
Roxley's."
"He wasn't, but he was attorney for
q relative. "-Philadelph Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

The time may come when in addition
to the books they have published and
the clubs to which they belong people
who get into who's Who" will be re-
CURED to mention the cases in which
they have figured as correspondents.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

Many women share Emma Goldman's
sentiment concerning the matter Of
talking when she - pleases; but, for
tunately, most Of them are polite
enough to refrain from using the en-
phasis employed by Emma.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

Mistress-How is 1t 1 saw a soldier
hugging you in the kitchen last night?
Maid-I don't know. ma'am. unless
you were peeping through the keyhole.
-Sketchy Bits.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

A New York doctor. has carried
rabbits foot for Ave years and claims
TO have escaped all injury during that
time. But that's nothing strange. A
good many OF US have been carrying
accident policies with the same result
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

When a man dies, It is customary
to say that he left vacancy that will
be hard to fill. There isn't any vacan.N
cy left. If you take a cup Of water
cut of the river, 1t leaves no vacancy.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

According to reports, the Picking Ga
Eette, after brilliant but brief exist
ence of only Gil years. is about to sus-
pend. Some Of the "Old Subscribers"
who have "been taking the paper ever
since it started" probably have become
dissatisfied and withdrawn their sup
MORT
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20
A Question of Nerve.

"Does it require much nerve to ask
a woman to marry your inquired the
inquisitive youth.
"Not half as much as asking for
raise in salary" was the prompt reply.
Detroit Free Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

The Russian duma is reported to
have voted to increase the salaries Of
It's members. The increase is probably
demanded on the theory that doing
nothing is hard work.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

A Pennsylvania wife-beater was SEN
fenced to 'go home and pray" For the
second offense the judge may compel
him to go to church.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

A minister named Fyshe jumped
from an ocean liner and was drowned.
And now there are more good fyshe In
the see than ever before.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

Canadian girls are very successful
nurses. Many Of them come to the
States and marry a doctor inside of
six months.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

The discovery that flies carry mill
ions Of germs on their feet will arouse
q still greater hatred to the bald man
ON whose head the flies will wipe their
feet
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20
Many Sides,

That's the way the thing was told
to me, but Of course there's always
more than one side to story"
"Of course. There are always as
many sides to a story as there are
people to blame Philadelphia Press.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

So much care seems to be essential
to our health In these days that the
wonder is that anybody survived under
The old conditions And yet millions
Ed
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

It viii be noted that Mr.. Roosevelt
makes no distinction-all kinds OF an
archIsts smell alike to him.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

Commodore Vanderbilt and Jay
Gould were pretty constantly before
the public, notwithstanding the fact
that each succeeded in avoiding matri-
monial mistakes.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20
Afraid of His New Trouble.

Mistress-How is Uncle Nose, Din
ah?
Dinah-I don't 'zackly know, missus.
De feber is gone, but de doctah says
he's done got de coverlessons now
Judge.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

Whenever a man gets to making
money, his kin consider it is their duty
to work him for just as much as he
will stand.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

Don't pat young man on the back
too much: admiration does more than
criticism to kill ambition and ability.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

The United States Of Russia has been
proclaimed, but will probably not be In
working order for some time to come.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

"If you want to please the people. :"
said an old editor to new man,
..neyer speak well of amateurs"
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

Some women are like a good horse :
1t Is an insult to tie them.
Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-20

The President didn't say so In his
brief message, but he probably thinks
the Black Hand needs manicuring.
New-York tribune., 1908-04-12

II you put the baggage in the wagon I'll haul
1t TO the hotel he said But I'm no slave
There was other expressnan in sight, so the
head magician and loaded up his cart.
The South Americans love the theatre and are
none too well supplied with travelling companies
They generally fill the building to the doors.
But beware OF the Judge OF the Spectacular"
observed ClawsOn. He is an exceedingly trouble
some individual IN any country and especially so
IN Bolivia I remember visiting town, where
we rented the theatre from man, the scenery
from another, and borrowed the chairs from the
municipality. When the house half full the
Judge Of the Spectacular came to me and said
Stop selling tickets. You have enough people
IL here
" But the house is not half fulIr : exclaimed.
You may DO that in North America. but not
down here said the Judge. say, stop selling
tickets
"Of course, I was not turning away any good
money, and We filed the house. The next morning
had visit from two policemen, who read long
warrant for my arrest. There was d court scene
which resulted in my being fined 81 BoIiv.anas.
d" What for? : demanded.
You Were doing too much business said the
Judge Pay the fine or go 10 Jail
III go to jail I said, with quick decision.
All right 60 to jail said the Judge, in disgust.
y walked out OF the courtroom, and that was the
last Of the matter. Had I paid the fine the judge
OF the and the Judge of the Spectacular
wOulC have divided the proceeds"
New-York tribune., 1908-04-12
LIKE II COUNTY FAIR.
Agricultural Shoe Popular in Paris
Prize Pig for SausdgcS.

Paris March 81
In former years the Partisan agricultural
show has been held in the early summer when
the Paris sun pouring through the glass roof Of
the vast Galerie des Machines, bazed down
upon the oyerfed beasts stalled in the endless
nave with such force that one after another
collapsed with heat apopIeXy and was forthwith
made into prize beef.
This year the three thousand cattle and sheep,
goats and pigs were landed in the capital in
snowstorm and camped in a nipping north wind
for a night outside the exhibition buildings
The pretty hardy little heifers from the Jura
diG not resent this but the more delicate Je--
seys and the huge Dutch bulls felt it k-euIy
Indeed the mountain of flesh that is the Dutch
man surely the talIest, the brOadcst and longest
that ever went to the making of q two year old
bull. took a bad chill and ever and anon he is
shaken TO the very roots Of his tail by pa
thetic cough. This and the shortuess of his
halter and the disrespectful jabs in the back
administered by wondering Parisians have so
tried his temper that for the last days Of the
show he has worn a veil or mask. OF stout blue
linen which has put him into unchanSing dark
ness and left him very sad beast, with no spirit
left To resent any OF the indignites Of his fate.
II the great bulls of every color and race are
sullen IN captivity the cows take it more
philosophcalIy. They wake up. however, ~
milking time, when they fill the long aIsles with
their calls, lowing in every key until they hear
the clanking Of the buckets IN the hands Of their
attendants. There are little tables at intervals
New-York tribune., 1908-04-12
IDEA.

all along the COW stalls at which the crowds of
Parisans may taste the milk at the very mod
crate price of cents cup.
Perhaps the best of these show animals is the
pig. A marvellous specimen is the first prize
He is a shapeless mass OF rosy. pink pork
cred with silky, silvery hair, neatly combed and
parted down the top Of his person. He seems
long since TO have lost his tiny feet least he
has never been seen on them HI lies all lay
on his bed of clean straw. one huge Hat
neatly spread ike screen over his short face.
not even the tiny snout being visible His tor
por may be accounted for ty the dismal an
nOuncement hung over LIs head that he Is al
ready the property of the largest firm 81 usage
makers in Paris, and his flesh viii probab bly,
garnish innumerabe dishes of chou-croute The
French have learned from Germany t. love and
make sausages Of every imaginable KIND They
are not always appreciated uy Foreigners how
ever, owing TO the pronounced tWaue Of garlic
that characterizes nearly all, With custom
gets. however, to find degrees and shades in
Aries Lyons, Toulouse or FraLkfor; saucisses
and to like them well
Up in the gallery which runs all round the
hbtion building are all kinds of poultry. Hun
dreds Of cocks Of every imas.uabI, breed ars
Growing with insistence from uehind their iros
New-York tribune., 1908-04-12

agreed TO use fire on the stage
cannot let You have license for that theatre
working order - no' III
This was a law on me and made him
snow It to me in the statute book He finally fonnd
- ~ uleo TO call up the theatre and sure enough
&c answer came back from the Spanish speaking
EelIo girl Out OF orderr
The office OF the intendante closes a+ o,o,o.,,
ana II was then 4 in the afternoon We uera cold
out Tor that night, but could not have opened with
~ Incense went after the owner Of the
'iedue' VINO had some influence even though he
WAS II Dad with the powers that ruled He de-
nanded repairs from the telephone coronanr 1i,ht,
an hour' and soon the roof Of the theatre Was
sWarming with lnemen. They found the teI.nbo1o
wires neatly and freshly cut IN a most unlikely
49, 49, ana the connection was speedily restored
ms Just shows you the sort Of thing a manager
In South America has to centend with
transportation is a constant source of trouble
We wanted 10 go from Cordova, Mexico, to the
Hest coast where We could board steamer for
Chill The railway officials declared that the nau,
road was built through so ", boardad , ,,ol-ashts.
train and started on remarkable tourney That
u an was more off the track than on It could
Jump the track when standing still. Finally we
came 10 a river of considerable size-the Colorado
believe they call it. There was no railroad hridga
line.
The station master let the women Of the COM
pany sleep in freight house We men had 10 he
~N--NN-S "-NA- a 4dbOTeES nut alongside the track
II was as miserable night stand as Thespian
made
The next morning hired big barge to freight
the company down 10 the II was a beautiful
DAY when We set out. About noon the barge
brought UP on a sand bar and instantly il began
10 rain When il rains in Western Mexico it comes
down IL bucketfuls The leading lady whom we
billed as The Woman Who Flies" was mighty
sorry she could not live up her part literally
She tried 70 make tent OF some fast color Mex-
can blankets which she had purchased The colors
were fast IN the sense Of being speedy IL ten
minutes she was giddy a bird OF paradise
for the blankets leaked every color of the rainbow
When the rain was slipped of the bar
but l made the bargeman walk ahead and point
out the channel. When got to the coast we
for Us before q steamer due. : hired al ex-
pressman to take our personal baggage to the
hotel. He was about to load UP his wagon when 3
labor agitator came along
Those people think you are a slave he grovled
10 our expressIlan.
I'm nc slave declared the man with the
wagon.
Then why are you loading their baggage?
hssed the ast2tor.
The expressrnan thought IT over and then turned
10 Us
New-York tribune., 1908-04-12
FAITH CF RI.

Isn't Jebbs q believer in ne faith cure?-
He Is"
rs it true that he wouldn't have q doctor foi
his wife, the other day, when She was n2"
Tt is quite true"
We'll. saw a doctor 60 into lis house just
now"
oh. that's all right He iH now h.'nseK--
Tit Bits.
New-York tribune., 1908-04-12
4 REAL FREAK

Better send an inspector down to see what.
the matter with this mans meter said the
cashier in the gas compauys Office to the super
intendent.
oh" began the super.UteuG.u;. we throw
complaints about metcrs"-
This is no complaint He sends a check
for the amount Of his bill ana says j,'e very
reasonable. "-L London opinion.
New-York tribune., 1908-04-12

Continued on eighth page
The Ketchikan miner., 1908-12-26
MARVELS OF MELT.

How infinitely minute must be the particles that emanate from the ob- ect which the log is tracking! Yet, according to an emlnet scientist of the government, the matter is extremely divisible. The tenth part of d grain cf musk will continue for years to all room with its odorfferous parti- cles, and at the end of that time will not be appreciabiy diminished in weight by the finest balance.
 cubic inch of air rising from the, flame of Bunsen burner has found to contain no fewer than 4S9, GOO. GOO dust particles. A drop of blood which might be suspended from the point of needle contains about 1000, 000 of red l1attened corpuscles. Still, though matter is so marvelousy divisionable, the olfactory nerves are infinitely more sensitive. Much has yet to ba investigated with regard to diffleren- tiaton of the points in regard to these nerves so that they may discrimi- nate with such apparent miraculous accuracy: yet even the results in the scent of dogs show how wonderfully fine is their discriminating power.
 Our s.nse of smell. unless in the trained chemist, is not even so acute Is that of the semisavage. The ab- originies of Peru can, in the darkest night and in the thickest woods, dis tinguish respectively, a white man, negro and one of their own race, by lho smell. Much have we gained hy civilization, but not without some loss to our bodily energies and senses. Mans recuperative power after an in- jury, is in the opinion of the highest authorities, in the inverse ratio to his social advancement. Similarly, he seems to become less acute and deli. ate in the smell as he fares better and lives more comol ta blely. Mar quett Bailv Journal.
The Ketchikan miner., 1908-12-26
WHERE THE MONEY GOES.

The Washington correspondents are commenting on.the appropriations of the prt sent session, and not without reason. When some years ago .the total appropriations D., one congress amounted to q billion dollars great deal was said about it. Here we have a congress which spends practically that amount at single session, and that, too, in the face of diminishing revenue and commercial depression.
 The billion dollar congress was the one which made the approprations for l8A2 and some comparison between the expenditures authorized for that year and those for the fiscal year ending June, 1909, are interesting:
 Fiscal year l9'D 1892 Sundry civil $l2O, 0OO, GOO $3J AGO, GOO Legislative, etc, 33, 0O,oo 22,OOo, O0O Army 93, 3S2, GOO Fl, GOO, OU Navy 22, 6G0, GOO 3l, 300, GOO Qualifications II, ,50O, 0C0 3,775, 900 Pensions 163, 3,0OO,OOO 135, POO, GOO
 The growth of the country naturally calls for more than 22O millions com pared with about seventy-six millions in 1892. The great increase. however, is found in tlie sums expended for the army and navy and in preparations for war. The expenditures should be larger than thoy w're twenty years ago because the country has more at stake. W, have great commerce to be protected and greater possessions to be taKcn care Of Whether the im- mcnse inc. ease shown by these figures are justified, however, is . matter of grave doubt. Some of our commercial interests which would be seriously affected by war do not approve. The committee on interstate commerce of the National Association of Manutact- urers says:
 Necessarily we cannot hope for proper attention to the needs of inter- nal waterways and to the pres, rvation of our natural resources f our money is to he squandered m so lavish measure upon bittiesh;ps and mili. taryism. It pays so much better to sell the foreigner our industrial pro- ducts than to wage war with him that our investments Ou.h5 to talk, the former rather than the lntter dircc. tion. In the long ruI 6 onn.n,r:, '- a better national defense than Hrinma- ment giving the Country inmeasur- ably more stren.gh.
 It is now known that the deficit for the current year e1diu. with iu e will amount to sixty m!i;it.ns. Com- putting the revenues ft. ext year on their present. hasis il,c eel cii next year wifi arlloA inia' l!.G niliois. This wall wipe out ihe lii!u, nhich ha, been accumulated uUiiug tho years oi prosperity aud wiil bring the country lace 10 face itb the problem uf additional atrxnt1cn IL IS very lucky for rIie :najn,'ty rn,', that this crl,i, will occur next year intseld os coIu:ng al shc present time.