davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Los Angeles herald., 1908-09-27

THE Closing Year." which probably Prem
tees masterpiece in verse, and which is one of the
finest poems in the language, had doubtless been
framed in the way mentioned above, but the man
ner in which it came out unique, to say the
least.
1t New Years eve and the carriers of the
Journal had address" for their patrons for the
day that to follow, custom that was old and
in those days of great financial Importance to the
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
Mark Twain Caught Out.

A poet, a pair of trousers across his
knee, sat In his attic trying to thread
a needle.
1.-THE proper way" he said, lis to
hold the thread still and push the nee
die toward it or to hold the needle still
and push the thread toward it. Mark
Twain says both ways are right. Then
he says they are both wrong"
Taking down THE Prince and the
Pauper," the poet read:
HE did as men have always done
and probably always will DO to the
end of tirne-held the needle still anu
tried to thrust the thread through the
eye, which is the opposite of a wo-
mans way"
Then the poet. taking down 'Huckle-
berry Finn read:
"'Bless you, child, when you set
out to thread a needle don't hold the
thread still and fetch the needle up to
it. Hold the needle still and poke the
thread at it. That's the way wo-
man most always does, but a man al
ways does t'other way"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
just Names.

She had passed a season abroad, and
in London, she said modestly, her sue
cess had been unprecedented. The
earl said he could readily believe that
1.-THE dinner" she resumed, that
Lady Featherstonhaugh"-
Excuse me. The name is pronounc-
ed Freestonhay," said the earl
"Well, at the dinner Lord DalzelP'-
Though written Dalzell, it it pro-
nounced Deal. But pray go on"
"He and Sir Dugald Colquhoun"-
'sYou mean Calhoun. Yes?"
"And Lady Leveson-Gower and Mr..
Bohun'
"Lewson-Gore and Boone are the
correct recommendations. But I'm inter
rupting you"
''Not at all. All these persons and
Lord st. Maur drank
''Not ST. Maur-Seymour. Well?'
ooh, | forgot what l was going to
say. You've quite put me out with
your corrections"
"And your story was just getting in
teresting too" said the earl regret
fully.-New Orleans Times-Democrat
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
Who Would Want to Be a Lama?

The lama pilgrims among the Tibet
an Hindoos. as they pursue their noun
tain pilgrimages, literally measure off
the distance with their bodies. The
distinguished traveller Sven Hedln.
writing of his discoveries in Tibet in
Harpers Magazine, describes them as
lying down full length on the ground,
making q mark on the road. rising and
stepping forward to the marx. once
more to fall full length. One such
walking journey as this, says DR..
Hedin, equals thirty ordinary ones.
Among the lamas also are to be found
those who immune themselves in a
dark cave for life, food being passed
in through a passage or hole under
ground. Should the dish be one day
untouched those outside may know
that the. sacrificial prisoner has died
seated, since all good lamas must die
seated, in the wooden frame which
was fashioned for him when he was
entombed.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
3me Store Il DID r. DID
& ~
Useless.

There was some speculation as to
whether the instrument would benefit
the old gentleman or not. One was
holding the ear trumpet, while anoth-
er was explaining it's use and showing
old Mr.. Borrows how to hold it to his
ear.
'sSay something to him through 1t,
joe" said one to the other.
Now, Joe had long waited for an OPP
portunity to reach Mr.. Borrows' ear.
So, speaking very distinctly into the
trumpet, he said:
you've not paid me that sovereign
you owe me, yet. Mr.. Borrows.'
But the old gentleman put the in
strument down, with disappointment
on his face, and they could see it was
a failure even before he had time to
say:
'That things not bit of good to
mev'
And he sighed, but his sigh was not
so deep as that which came from Joe.
London Express.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
So BAD as That!

A young medical student who was
calling upon a girl volunteered to sing
and help entertain the company which
arrived unexpectedly. At the end of
his second solo he turned to the young
lady and remarked: II am thinking of
taking vocal lessons. Do you know of
good teacher?'
yes, indeed" was the quick reply.
81 know the very one for you. Here is
his address, and she scrubbed the
name on a card, giving it to the stu
dent
Next day he called up the teacher by
telephone: SIS this the instructor of
vocal music?''
'1The what?'' was the answer.
'sThe vocal teacher?" was repeated
NAV" came the reply, II don't teach
nothing. l file sawsw-Ladies' Home
Journal
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
Talking Down.

The superintendent of a Sunday
school class in Philadelphia recently
called upon visitor to 'say few
words" to the class. the members Of
which are mostly children of tender
age.
The visitor, a speaker we'll known
for his verbose and circumlocutory
mode of speech. began his address as
follows:
"This morning. children. purpose
to offer you an epitome of the life Of
st. Paul 1t may be perhaps that
there are among you some too young
to grasp the meaning of the word
'epitome.' 'Epitome.' children, is in
its Specification synonymous with sy-
nopsis. ''-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
Explosive Diamonds.

A curious fact about diamonds is
that it is not uncommon for the crys-
tails to explode as soon as they are
brought up from the mine. Sometimes
they have burst in the pockets or the
warm hands of miners. due to the eff
feet of increased temperature. Large
stones are more likely to do this than
small ones Valuable stones have been
destroyed in this way. To safeguard
them some dealers place large dia-
monds in raw potatoes for safe trans
port from South Africa
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
A. Polite Turn Down.

Sir Algernon West in his reminis-
cences tells this story of Robert
Browning: 'sWhen he had become IA
nous some one wanted very much to
meet him. A kind friend arranged
meeting, and the guest besiegeG
Browning with questions and CONVEX
sation during dinner, and even after
dinner he continued buttonholing his
victim. Come, said the poet, this
will never do They will say | am
monopolizing your"
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
Professor RIackie,s Opinion.

A correspondent sends an anecdote
concerning the attempt Of serious
minded lady to lure Professor Blackie
into giving his opinion of Sankey's
hymns at time when they had an
enormous vogue. The lady was giving
the professor lunch. and he tried to
fob her off by praising a Stilton cheese
on the table. Some time after the lady
sent him copy of Sankey and piece
of the cheese, hoping thus to draw
him. She succeeded to the extent of
these four lines of verse:
Thrice blessed is she that hath done what
she could
To make lean man fat and a bad man
For the body cheese; for the soul. San
key;
For BOTH thankee.
Glasgow Herald.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
An Explanation.

Little Dot-Mamma, / was playing
with your best tea set while you were
away. and when you bring it out for
company you'll be shocked. cause
you'll think one of the cups has a hair
In it, but it isn't hair. Mamma
What is it? Little Dot-It's only a.
crack.-Pic -Me-Up.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
A Sense of Propriety.

$50 you stole this mans ax?" said
the judge.
''Yessah. I reckons dar ain no use
tryin' ter spute de facts
What did you do that for? He said
he would have been perfectly willing
to lend you the AK
Eyes; but you see, jedge, dat mans
on'y jes' moved in de neighborhood.
doesn' know him wei enough ter go
'roun' ter his house borryin'. Wash,
ington Star.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
NonreversihIe.

Lang-Didn't you tell me that you
made yourself solid with Mrs. Vane
by asking her if she was herself or
her daughter-couIdn't tell them apart.
and so on?
Strang-I did. What about 1t?
Lang-Why. l tried the same gag
with the daughter. and it didn't go
for cent-Boston Transcript
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
MIGHT Have Been worse.

ALTHOUGH naturally timid ! have
been forced to appear before critical
public for 10, these many years"
sighed Mary of the lamb episode.
s.Yet,'' she continued, Il have at least
one thing to be thankful for. No one
ever called me Mamye."
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
look the Cue

NOW" said the teacher. who had
been describing the habits of bears,
''what is the fiercest animal in the
polar regions. Johnny?''
"Why-er-er," stammered Johnny.
Come. don't you remember? The
poll
ooh, sure; the polecatp' -Philadel-
phia Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
Uncle Eben.

"a heap O. men," said Uncle Eben,
gifts reputation fob great wisdom
by pertendin' to know mo- dan dey
does an den persuadin' you to blame
yoh own ig'nunce fob not comprehend
In DER explanations. Washington
Star.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
Called the Turn.

''What's the old lady doing now?''
asked the old stocking in the work
basket
'She's getting out her needle and
yarn replied the scissors
well. WELL" exclaimed the stocking.
''I'll be darned. "-Philadelph Press.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
gar Scorched by Lightning.

Lightning struck the store of Hor-
ace Swan at Georgetown, Del, and
when Swan recovered from the shock
he found one Of his ears had been
scorched until it was brown.
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
Accepted.

"Quills has had story accepted at
last remarked journalist to a col
league
Surely not was the rejoinder.
Yes He went home at 2 o'clock
this morning with an awful yarn. and
his wife believed it,
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
Men Should Brush Their Hair More.

Men Should Brush Their Hair More.
Every few men brush their hair
enough" said a downtown barber
''Fact. Most ills of the scalp can be
traced to that fault You see it's this
way: A man is generally in hurry
when he dresses, and he never takes
time to brush his hair simply SnoOths
it down. generally only with comb
and as a result dandruff is allowed to
accumulate and trouble begins. Now,
with a woman it's different A woman
has to carefully brush her hair at least
once day If she didn't it would be
pretty mess. It's very length saves
her, for in brushing it each day she
gets out all sorts of impurities, dan
druff and the like, all of which is for
her own good. Now, that is the chief
reason why fewer women suffer from
dandruff than the unfortunate mem
bers of the opposite sex, and it is also
the reason why the hair is woman's
crowning glory even if she is fair,
fat and forty. So brush your hair
every morning thoroughly if you want
to keep in the swim. Philadelphia
Record
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20
A Division Of Purpose.

Some years ago the Yankee schooner
Sally Ann, under command of Captain
Spooner, was beating up the Connecti-
cut river. Mr.. Comstock, the mate,
was at his station forward. According
to his notion of things the schooner
was getting '1eetle" too near certain
mud flats which lay along the larboard
shore. So aft he went to the captain
and, with his hat cooked on one side,
said:
#'Cap'n Spooner, you're getting lee
tie too close to them flats. Hadn't you
better go abeout?"
The captain glared at him.
''Mr. Comstock, jest you go for'ard
and tend to your part of the skinner.
I'll tend to mine"
Mr.. Comstock went for'ard in high
dudgeon.
Boys" he beloved out, "see that
that er mud hooks all clear for 1ettin'
CO."
AYE, aye, sir"
"Let go, Them he roared.
Down went the anchor, out ratified
the chains, and like a flash the Sally
Ann came luffing into the wind and
then brought up all standing. Mr..
Comstock walked aft and touched his
hat
We'll, cap'n, my part Of the skinner
is to anchor -Everybody's
The Wisconsin tobacco reporter. (Edgerton, Wis.) 1877-1950, 1908-11-20

All argument will vanish before one
touch Of nature Coleman.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10
PLANS ACCEPTED
HRRGROVE COLLEGE BOARD
WILL BE READY TO ADvER.
TiSE FOR BIDS SOON.

Plans scr the building of Hargroye
college have been accepted and the
plans and specifications are expect
ed to be finished within week. Bids
will at once be advertised for and
work on the construction of the build
ing VIII commence this fall. The
Methodist conference meets in No
yember and It is the wishes Of the
people here that DR.. Gross be re-
tainod at the head Of Hargrove col
loge The probabilities are that no
effort viii he made to start the
school before next September At that
time the main building and the dormi-
tories will have been finished and
the buildings will be in fine shape for
successful year of 1909 and 1910
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10
The PropositIon.

We, the undersigned. hereby agree
to pay such an amount set opposite
our names to such trustee as we
may hereafter select for the purpose
Of buying one hundred and twenty
eight U2S) lots. seventy feet by one
hundred and forty feet each. in what
Is known as the Poland a Anderson
Addition, located tn Carter County,
Oklahoma, south and adjoining the
City Park of Ardmurc The consid-
Grafton for the one hundred and TWEEN
ty-cight lots Is to hc ono hundred dol
lars tslO0.OO) each and each One
Hundred Dollars CSlOOOOD or multi
pie thereof shall represent share
in company hereafter to be form 4
for the purpose of prospecting fo
oil and gas on the said one hundred
and twenty.eight lots No payments
are TO he made by MS or any of us
when twenty-five per cent of same
shall become due, and the balance IN
six monthly payments Of twelve do
lars and fifty cents CSl2.jW per
month per share. Five Thousand poi
lars (s5 5,00O) shall he used under our
direction for prospecting for oil ana
gas. and Seven Thousand Eight Hun
dred Dollars (s7,SOO) TO he used for
the purchase ice of said one hun
dted ad twenty-cight lots.
~~O~0~~-~-~~~-~~~~~~~~~-~-
ner and his children. Louisa, Lottie
and Edna Smith are named as de.
PENDANTS
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10
THE PROPOSITION OFFERED
BY HON. ". P. POLAND
If You Have Nothing Better Offer for the Upift OF the
Town and County Don't Knock On This
Move For Cheap Gas

Below is the proposition | offer
the citizens of Ardmore in which
to take stock If any other person
has a proposition better ttan this,
= want stock In II. II you have moth
ing better to offer, don't knock on
my scheme. Ardmore must get cheap
fuel gas to induce factories to locate
here. Ask the secretary of the Com.
mercial Club If this is not a fact
Ardmore has progressed to the eN-
tent of her agricultural possibilities.
We need cheap gas to bring in other
factors that will make Ardmore the
pride of the state. We have the
crude material at our doors Shall
we develop them? What If we had
to sink a dozen prospecting wells
and at last secure what We want.
My proposition below gives YOU
chance at one, that will cost you
nothing. The lot that you get for
your 800 Is worth more than you
pay for IT, If we fail on gas and
oil. You will have chance to sub.
scribe. so study the proposition
over before | see you. Some OF you
have never experienced the bottom
dropping out of values of business
property. and rents going down to
nothing. Well. you need not want to,
It is very embarrassing to say the
least of it. We do not look for any
such calamity to befall our town,
but we should let no opportunity
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10
NO PETITIONS FILED
VOTING PRECINCTS CANNOT BE
CHANGED AFTER TICKETS
ARE PRINTED.

Byron Drew, chairman of the coun.
ty election board, stated this morn
ing that the board would grant the
wishes of the people in the voting
precincts that have been changed If
they could do so. No petitions have
been filed yet for the reinstatement
OF any boxes. Owing to the manner
IN which the tickets are printed IL
will be impossible to make changes
in precincts after the tickets are
printed These tickets are printed In
book form and bound Thirty.four
books will be printed for this county
instead of forty-two and those who
desire 10 have the precincts chang
cd VIII have 10 rush their petitions
or the order for the tickets will have
been executed. and no changes can
be made.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10

here published is the analysis fur
nished by the state chemist.
That sad milk was not removed
from the vessel in which received
II and that II was not tampered with
In any way while In my possession.
JOHN r. EASLEY.
Subscribed and sworn 20 before me
this the l0th day OF September, 1903.
], r. MASON.
County Judge Carter County.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10
Three Suits FiIed.

G. w. Fletcher VS.. Nellie Fletcher
Is the style of divorce suit filed in
the district clerks office today. The
plaintiff alleges that he and defend.
ant We're married January Z, 1904
near Newport and within five weeks
from that date mis- wife had aband-
oned him and they have not lived
together since then. Brown a Cadet
are attorneys for the plaintiff.
Potterf & Walker, attorneys for
William Reeves of Fort Worth, filed
a suit today against c. NJ. Cunning
ham, w. a. Gillian, $. A. Newland,
and p. II. Henson, for $3.50, bal.
ance alleged to be due on a promis'
sory note.
Edward Smith, through his attor
neys, Champion & Allen, filed suit
today for partition Of property. The
suit was filed in a friendly man
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10
How To Get S.rono.

p. J. DAILY Of 1927 w. Congress ST,
Chicago, tells OF a way TO u come
strong. lie says: MY mother who
is old and was very feeble, Is deriv-
ing 50 much benefit from Electric
Bitters that feel it's my duty 20
tell those who need a tonic and
str mgtheniug medicine about IT.. In
my mothers case a marked gain in
flesh has resulted, insomnia has been
overcome, and she is steadily growing
stronger" Electric Bitters quickly
remedy stomach, liver and ddn y
complains s Sold under guarantee AT
W. B. F.ame's drug store. SOC
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10
TAX ASSESSMENT.
s'ete Board Seems Willing to Make
Fair Valuations.

Fair Valuations.
The state equalization board has
never made public its equalization
of county taxes. The commissioners
of this county are anxious to receive
this report so that the tax rate can
be fixed. The board at its meeting
today made an estimate of the OK
penses which will be required. A list
of the amounts required fo the diff
ferent funds is published in this
paper over the signature of Chair.
man Scivally.
The state auditor has reported on
some of the public service corpora.
lions of the county The Ardmore
Heat a. Light company which was
first scheduled at $4,000, has been
reduced to 10000; the Ardmore Ice,
Light & Power Co, which was first
scheduled by the state board at s97,-
OO0 has been reduced to 100000
The Pioneer Telephone and Tele-
graph company which owns a line
from here TO Madll has been as
sesscd at sl5S7 OF this amount 1898
is in Morgan township and 1894 is
in Wilson township. No further re-
ports have been received by the
| county officers.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10
An Attractive Window.

The down town shoppers today, the
visitors and everybody else who pass
ed Ditzl IS stopped to look at the
handsome gowns on display i'm the
window. There were two made by
Mrs. Myrtle Kenny, manager of the
dressmakirg department of this store
one Is an empire gown of or pc de
chine, the other Is a one piece dress
in pink for evening wear. IT is made
The window also contained a hand
some new black hat from Miss Gray's
millinery department. AS a back
ground stood picture OF the propos-
ed new Hargrove college building
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10
BRYAN NO MILLIONAIRE
DENIES STATEMENT OF CANNON
AT SPRINGFIELD THAT HE'S
WORTH A MILLION.

Olney. H., Sept. l0.-Giving de
tailed statement of tn amount or
property owned by him, which he piac
ed at sl50,OOO at the outside, w. j.
Bryan in a speech here today declared
as false the accusations of Speaker
Cannon mad yesterday at Springfield
Illinois, that he was worth million
dollars and called upon the speaker
to be frank in making known TO the
world the amount of his own earthly
possessions
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10

\ burglar got In MS work at Mar.
ictta night before last. City Marshal
Billingslcy who was in tn city yes
tcrday from that place reports that
4 Co, Jordan & Scott and John Sut-
liff. London and company missed
some watches, case Of pocket kniy-
es, some shoes and clothin Merchan-
chandisl was taken from the other
stores. There was no clue yesterday
The police held a man here but It
was found that he was innoccn, and
was released
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10
LUKE'S MUSIC
STORE
Notice to Contractors.

Sealed bids will be received in the
Office OF Tackett g. Myall. Ardmore.
Okla, up to the hour of IL a. m.
September 16. 1908, also at Office OF
the secretary of the Oakland school
board at Oakland, Okla. 70 rthe erec-
tion of six-room, brick school
buiidlng in the town of Oakland,
Okla.
Each bid must be accompanied
with certified check OF three per
cent of the bid, payable to Ed Sacra,
chairman OF the said school board,
in case the bidder should be the low
est bidder and fail to make satisfac-
tory bond within five days after con-
tract is signed.
The school board reserves the
right to reject any or all bids.
TACKETT G. MYALL.
Architects.
cot Ardmore. Okla.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10

The army recruiting station cstab-
hshcd her last June was closed last
night and the lieutenant stationed
here has gone to Oklahoma CITY.
During the three months the office
was stationed here only two mel
were accepted and sent away and one
OF them was rejected aft.r he got
To st. Louis. The recruiting station
did no advertising whatever with the
newspapers. the department IL very
strict In lecting men and boys In
this section have plenty to do withou
going into the army These account
Tor the few enlisted here
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10

G. II. Davenport was here today
from Glenn. lie says the people In
his portion of the country are gather
ing corn. Cotton IS very good and
will yield ms much aud more To tn
acre than it did last year. but Mr.
Davenport says the acreage in his ina
mediate community is almost fifty
per cent less than It was last year
CT mn has a good school being taught
by Tom Overstreet and the district
is preparing TO build new school
house.
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10

When you go home at night
from your work or place Of
business worn out with the
work and worries of the day,
often too tired to seek amuse-
ment up town these warm
evenings. Then is the time
the phonograph does it part.
With an improved Edison
Phonograph you can hear az
home the voice of the Grand
Opera Star. 1t tells stories
in the comedians pest dialect.
1t is never out of practice or
out of tune and never gets
tired. The prices are in the
reach of all-only one dollar
a week pays for an Edison
OF Victor at
The Daily Ardmoreite. [volume] (Ardmore, Okla.) 1893-current, 1908-09-10

Byrd, the Tailor, has moved his
shop from Main street to the room
occupied by the Postal Telegraph Co.
two doors north OF the First Natl.
Bank. on Washington street, where
he is ready for business with fall
and winter line OF woolens and at
prices that knock competition. lO.2