davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
Three Stories and a Moral.

This is the time of year to hang
a weight on the safety valve When
YOU step an inch higher every time
YOU sniff a noseful OF air, il is
proper TO exercise a little caution.
Spring IS all right, but you can't
afford to overdo it, Take it-and
things generalIy-as easy as you
can. And don't mind if unexpect-
eddy you get what you want.
They tell a story up North of a
man WHO was stopped by a small
boy and asked the time.
Ten minutes TO nine" said the
man.
Then said the boy. cat 9
o'clock you get your hair cut"
There was a wild foot race until
the man, just as he gained close on
the boy, ran into a policeman.
What's up?'' This from the cop.
you see that young urchin
there?" began the man between
gasps. HE asked me the time.
told him. Ten minutes to g. At
o'clock he says, get your hair
cut"
We'll" observed the policeman,
as he looked at the court house
clock, what are you running for?
You've got eight minutes yet
The Bluebuttons was a better
Springtime philosopher than the
other.
They tell another story here in
Washington of two gentlemen of
color who sat down to a dinner of
two fish. one large and one small.
Each waited for the other to do the
helping. Finally the big man pulled
the dish to him. helped his com
panion to the little fish, and slipped
the other 10 his plate.
The little man objected in this
wise:
Jim if I'd a-heIpsd them fish I'd
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
For City Folks to Think Over.

A eOlored man down in Texas has
tree of which he is Justly proud.
In.1s55 he was taken to the Lone
Star State as slave. When set
free, he bought a small farm, and
there was one pecan tree on it..
While young and strong he raised
but could not save money. Today
he is no longer able to work in the
field, so he devotes his attention to
his pecan trees. One of them, that
which he found on his farm, grows
the largest nuts of this variety in
America. Last year the nuts sold
brought him S54. He gave his
friends some, and planted some.
Now he is selling the young trees at
81 each, and they go as fast as he
can raise them.
So this one tree has brought him
occupation, usefulness, keep, and
security in his old age. No wonder
he is proud of il,
There is a lesson in that tree, if
we viii only think it out. How
many of us would choose 10 have
one if we could? How many Of us
are content to live between four
brick walls with a lOzenge of grass
out in front when we might have
open air a-plenty and trees? How
many of us know the profit of n
single fruit planted in the ground
and watched? How many who live
in the country and have trees let
the fruit rot or the nuts lie on the
ground for the neighbor's pigs?
Let us city folks think over it.
We don't know everything.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
THE EDEN MEMORY.

Now. when the Angel missioned with
the sword.
At Eden-gate his burning falchion
drew
And when our sad First Parents had
passed through
How did that garden mourn their fate
uutOwardt
The fourfold rivers from their urns
were poured
With unconsoled repinings; and the
de~
Did stand like tear-drops IN tho
heart s-ease blue.
And waned the lilies golden honey
hoard
The breathing air henceforth was but
one sign
That all around that lonesome pleas
ance ran.
While Voices asked-and Iapsed without
rpoly
Such wistful airs about my garden
7 dream some grief Of Eden still must
lie
At heart Of every garden made by
man,
Edith NJ. Thomas, in Success.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
TULSA BOOSTERS
BOOST AMI. LEAVE
Oklahoma Crowd and Its
Reformed Outlaw IN
wade Baltimore.

Singing the praise Of Tulsa as the
train moved out. and shouting a cordial
invitation 10 visit Oklahoma. the Ii
boosters left Washington for Baltimore
yesterday afternoon at . O'Clock Trey
were Elcst enthusiastic over Their re-
cePtion at Washington All OF them
we're 50 much impressed With the Pres
ident and his speech Friday that there
Was genuine regret a. not having seen
him more than once.
our trip 10 Washington and stay
here has been most delightful and prof
table said Mayor Rhode. just before
the band struck up -AuId Lang Syne."
I'VE had hardly expected 20 create
ripple I'm Washington. but IL seems ne
nave proved tempest The welcome
given Us by your Commissioners ana
the Chamber OT Commerce warmed our
hearts and We wouldn't have missed
Washington fer the word.
Doubtless We shall adept many Of
your plans in Tulsa. which Ne propose
making the garden spot or the West.
We have learned numerous things on
our "Trip and are amply repaid IN hos
PitsHty an5 knoaIeIse for cur visit
20 the National Capital"
Va Nl-t MUS alsaEr--f nEtiEeE ia
the Oklahoma boosting gang is I'm
nett Dalton.
This Intelligent, gentlemanly appear
ins fellow was formerly one OF the
most notorious bank F0bberzes that ever
operated In Kansas. he was shot four
times by a posse. and after A trial was
sent 20 prison sor life. He fought Tor
fourteen years and WIS finally liberated
last fall
Dalton. who is just -thirly-fve years
Old upon obtaining his pardon stared
70 lead an honorable and useful life. He
is one OF Tulsa 3 most substantial rrer-
chants and a IEiTry-rlird degree booster
Ior the Town which welcomed him af-e-
MS long imprisonment. Dalton was dele
gated by The other Oklahou1ans TO pin
a Tulsa button on the President Vice
President, Secretaries Taft and Gar
ne-d and other diEnitaries- He initiated
a u Of them as Tulsa boosters
Al the members or rhe delegation
speak in the highest terms Of the for
T1er outlaw.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
A Way to Save Money.

Under the care of the probation
officers Of the Juvenile Court last
year were 42i children.
Without a probation system those
Youngsters must have been grouped
with young offenders of various de-
grees of lawlessness in such insti-
tutions as reform schools or indus
trial homes. No one can measure
the effect of that association on
character, which is the chief thing.
But every one can tell of the effect
on the District bank account.
At any home each of those chill
dren must have cost not less than
$3.50 a year. The total would have
been S63,15O. The whole cost Of
the probation service was S2,7OO.
The saving in money, therefore,
was S6O,45O.
And all that is needed to multiply
this saving is that this system shall
be extended.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

given you the big one and took
the little one myself"
The answer was:
What yoh a-fussin' bout then?
Amt yoh got what yoh wanted?"
A good many of us are in CORE
spending positions these days. We
think we want TO go away and rest.
AS a matter of fact, if we had to
go to an empty hotel and sit around
alone we'd be the most miserable of
men. Or we think we want a change
of work; spring has a mighty dis
quieting effect sometimes on a
mans work. But If we had 10 be-
gin at the beginning of something
else we'd wish ourselves back a
thousand times. Or we think our
selves rushed TO death, when, as a
matter of fact. all Of us have'eight
minutes yet. even to do the thing
we don't want to do.
So don't let Spring run away with
YOU. Get as much of IL in your
lungs and your heart as you can,
but don't let it get into your nerves
Be able 10 take inspiration from it,
but don't let it swamp you. In
pinches be like the tight-wad whose
wife persuaded him TO build a fine
new house. As he took a friend
through it and came to the dining
room. the visitor observed:
What a big dining room! You
could seat twenty people in 1t,
couldn't you?"
Il could came the reply. But
God forbid"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
BY FRIGHTFUL TORTURE
REGICIDES WERE KILLED

Those among the aSsassinS OF the late
King Of Portugal and his son who fell
victims 20 the sabers and bullets OF
the soldiery and police were lucky. For
even in these humanitarian days the
lot OF the regicide when caught is not
usually a very enviable one. TO be
hanged is the least he can expect. Per
petUal solitary Imprisonment is A far
more dreadful fate. II drove Bresci.
the assassin Of King Humbert OF italy
IN suicide. and it has transformed Luc-
chini, waO murdered the Empress OF
Austria. into a hopeless imbecile.
Among the plctters implicated in the
murder OF the late Shah Of Persia one
was tortured 10 death in prison. while
another was incased in wet plaster Of
paris. which. on setting. slowly crushed
The life out OF him. Three Of the as
alive In huge copper caldrons-
So late as the year 1881 the two
MayrOmichaelis. who slew Count Capo
C'IStra. the first President OF Greece
we're immured within close brick walls
built around them up 10 their ChinS and
supplied with sailed food. but no drink.
until they died.
Damiens. who attempted the life of
King Louis XIV OF France. was first
barbarously tortured and then torn TO
pieces ~ wild horses This punishment
vas carried out in one Of the principal
squares of Paris. March 3. I757. Ra-
yaillac, who assassinated Henry " OF
France, suffered A similar fate
The murderer OF Selim III OF T11rL,ev
vas publicly impaIed. lingering I'VE and
a half days in dreadful torment. Those
who did to death his immediate sue
cessor, Mustapha ", were tortured and
starved on alternate days and deprived
of sleep by night until death came 10
their relief.-Chicago News
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
THE EARLY TELEGRAPH.

Long before Prof. s, =. 3. Morse had
perfected his great invention the word
telegraph" was used Tor a sort %
semaphorc. In the French revolution
a telegraph" assisted by telescopes.
was devised 70 carry news over i'm
uense distances Forty years be
fore this time. however. there was PUB
Iished the first detailed scheme for com
munication by means Of electricity Il
is outlined in a letter to the Scots
Magazine, written on February I. I155.
from Renfrew and signed &C. NJ" This
suggestion was 10 transmit a charge
from the conductor o. an electrical
machine AZ the sending station along
en- insulated wire 10 the receiving ma
chine. the presence Of the charge be-
ing indicated ~ the behavior % a
light pith ball or the II sage % n
spark" Each letter of tna alphabet
was 20 have separate wire so that
any word might be spelled out and
any message sent.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
The Sessions Crisis.

There was a time, about a fort
night ago. when the destinies of
this Congressional session hung in
the balance: when there was posi-
biIity of the balance swinging either
way; when it was within the range
of reason that the session might
become historic for its accomplish
ments, rather than for its failures.
That time has probably passed.
The session will 60 into history as
failure; a fat, stale, useless series
of excuses for doing nothing.
Today it seems altogether prob
able that this session, when it shall
end. will have TO its credit just one
achievement along the line Of the
splendid program of progressive ac-
complishment that President Roose-
welt demanded and the American
people expected. That will be the
passage of an employers liability
law which will correct an error Of
the previous sessiOn-perhaps.
1t is record Of shameful failure.
Almost every member of Congress
knows II is. Yet there is no eff
fective protest. If protest there is
10 be, it must come up from the
country, in the remaining month of
the session. Is it possible?
The Democratic flibuster has,
broadly speaking, won the conf
dence Of the country sincere ef-
fort to force results. The people
on one side and their President on
the other have been urging accom-
pHshment. Yet there is none.
The responsible legislative leader
ship of the Republican party seems
blind 10 conditions, deaf to reason.
It seems to have forgotten that con-
ditions arc ripe for popular revul-
sion. 1t appears 70 have forgotten
the lesson of history, which should
tell it that from the beginning of
constitutional government the party
which gets the blame for a COM
mercial depression has been the
loser at the succeeding Presidential
election. It's arm has seemed par
alyzed, its power gone, its voice of
conscience stilled.
An alliance of few courageous
Republicans with the Democrats in
3bA House Ivo1,I6 force action on
the supremeIy important pending
measures. Yet there seems no
chance of that few courageous men
coming forward. Can they not be
convinced that the opportunity of
service - sincere. self sacrificing.
.hnnsst -seEEiee--is=bettsEthan the
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
DOG UPHOLSTERER
LATEST LONDON FAD

A dogs upholsterer Is the newest ad-
dItion 10 trade in London
This gentleman scorns such prosaic
things as kennels and sleeping baskets,
instead ne provides dressing bags. bed
steads, and boudoirs o. the utmost eIs-
gance. such as must make a sensible
dog feel Ike dropping his ears with
shane
one or these novelties Is a luxurious
cot for the chocolate Pomersnia0. a IA
vOrite breed OF the moment This cot
IS a miniature OF a French bed draped
with rose-bedscked pale blue silk cur
tains- and covered with lace-trirnmed
sheets and pillow cases. embroidered IN
broidered ia pale blue and silk cOuu-
terpane 20 match the curtains.
The dogs dressing bag. OF Russian
leather lined win quilted satin. holds
the dogs wardrobe OF morning Jacket.
promenade coat and night garment.
These vary in cOstlineSS from white
flannel bound in vivid ribbons 10 white
velvet edged with FUR while most ex-
tra0Tdinary or AL. there is a small
pocket fitted IN the coat from which
peeps an embroidered handkerchief.
The boud0Ir IS an etheraiizcd kennel
OF white basket work hung with blue
silk curtains and fitted with cushions
embroidered with mCnOgrsms-
What If some fine day psmpeTed dog
Gikius feels the call o. the wild and
cheWS I'D his luxurious equI0mentsi E,v-
cry self-respsctfng canine friend would
surely bark his approval. whatever
might be the feeling OF a doting mis-
tress- Exchange
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
FIRST AID.

a prominent physician 7as recently
called 10 his telephone oy a colored
woman formerly in the service Of his
wife. In great agitation the woman ad-
vised the physician that her youngest
child was I'm q bad way
WI hat seems 10 be me troublsz-' ask
ed the doctor
Doc. she done swolls-ed = bottle OF
fnf-."
IN BE- over there in a snort while
to see ner, said the doctor Have
YOU done anything for her.
Il done give her three pieces OF blot
tin paper. Doc. said the cclored Wom-
an 6oUbtfully.-Ladiss HSns Journal.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
The Lookout for The Boys.

The bill providing for the 1910 census
has been laid aside until next session.
Civil service refoTmeTs made such a Wig
oroUs fight against the homeopathic
House leaders decided not 10 press for
action a this session. The decision OF
the House Is a disappointment TO Di-
rector North OF the Census Bureau,
who was anxious for legislation at once.
He wants 10 begin 10 get the census
machinery together.
This dispatch sets forth two
things-defeat of the spoilsmen and
injury TO the Census Bureau. Those
on the lookout for the boys" did
not get what they wanted. But they
were. nevertheless, able to make
such an impression on the House as
TO cost the Government the time for
a deliberate and forehanded organ
ization Of its force to take the next
census.
The bill to provide for the selec-
ton of these employees should never
have been introduced. Being intro
duced. it should never have been
favored by the Committee on the
Census. Being favored by that
body. it should have been unmis-
takably disapproved by the House
leaders. When those gentlemen
failed in their duty, the House
should have sat on the whole
crowd. so manifest a return was it
TO the day of using the Govern
ment chiefly IL pay political debts.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
IRISH HORSE FAIR
FULL OF CHATTER

An Irish farmer bringing a colt 20 mar
ket endeavO-s 90 convey 10 the whole
world by a thousand subtle Indications
that ne IS quite Indifferent as 10 whether
he sells or not The dealer on his part.
on the very verge Of -pourparlers. 20
loudly inumates 10 al within hearing
that he is only "lookin' about him that
he has more horses on his hands than ne
knows what % do with. and that ne
would consider l. a dire adliction 70 ba
obliged TO have anything u, do with the
particular animal whose POINTS he is
JUST then considering with the intent
eye Of a CounOtSSe1-r- Sometimes ne az
feCrS amdZemeur that any sane man
should offer such a horse for sale One
thing seems absolutely clear The ami
ma III question IN regard 10 a Ee, color.
size. and general want OF promise and
performance IS <he exact opposite Of the
type which he might be tempted to buy
The seller and his friends smile with In
finite superiority such Is their derach-
menr that u Is with Difficulty they can
be prevailed on 10 even hint ar a price
But when IL comes 10 a genuine bar
gain. III take Gf5 Tor him. and not a
single shiliin' less It's TOO chape ha
IS A. the money altogether. begOr-
The dealers Jaw drops He looks Sc
ga uge the immortality OF the man who
would ask such a price
'.A-rah. IS ir mad YOU are man alive"
he asks when he at:ains 10 speech You
must have left your forty-fiVe- pound
horse al home. Be reasonable. AK me-
thirty-five for him an III Try and buy
him. although by heavens I don't like
a bone in his body. the ugly. dirty
haste
The owner shakes his head and starts
q conversation with bystander apropos
Of nothing al all
Wen. mere IN not aff-ont you vid
a bid. III give YOU thirty-dve pound Tor
him Il YOU give me a couple OS pound
back 7 don't want your horse remem-
Der. at all ar all. bur 7 don't Ike 70 lave
you without biddin' you"
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

privilege of retaining office? Can
they not recall the Scriptural trag-
edy of the city whose people could
not muster the fifty, nor the ten,
nor the five, of righteous citizens to
save il from destruction?
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

William Murdock. Of Wellston, Ohio.
IN trying TO observe a health ordinance
which prevents eNpeCtoration inside 2
car. while splitting vas thrown from
the rear platform as the car was ar
high speed ard killed
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

Misses Maria and Amanda Swinehart,
Of Pittsville- Pa, twins, aged seventy,
and never separated. when taken I'll
were put in a room together in a hos
pitdl at their request.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

Governor Fort. of New Jersey, seems
determined 10 be eligible on either
ticket. Just a little while ago he was
alleged TO be the favOrite Of the Re
publican powers for second place with
them; now IL is announced that on
Wednesday Mr. Bryan will be his guest
in Trenton. IL looks like a game OF
holding the Fort
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

It IS said in Galloway county. No.
that a man from Mexico can be dis
tinglIiShed from one residing in Jeffer-
son City by the breath. the whisky
sold in the two places being entirely
different.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

The pocket or William J. Mullen. a
policeman OF Trenton. was picked OF
$50 while the officer was on duty.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
ODDITIES IN THE NEWS.

An election suit Was upset at Mill
vile, n J., by naming the wrong twin.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

Mrs. Charles Foren. OF Mill Bridge.
Ne. has been divorced three times. Her
father. John Mitchell. was divorced four
times. and the fifth wife, Mrs. Foren' s
mother. had been divorced four times
when she married Mitchell.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

II the Yerkes money holds out. the
sensation-Ioving community is evidently
going TO yet a good run for that par
ticular money.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

D. IT. Dillon. dancing master Of
Harrisburg Ill. who was arrested and
chained 10 a post IN jail for refusing
to pay fine or work on the streets.
was released after n part o. the sen
tence was served. He agreed 10 work
hYa-dayss
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

The institutions for manufacture OF
machine-made cigars are being closed.
but Tammany Hall continues open and
the output Of machine-made politics
shows no decrease. For detailed stalls
tics on the output IN inquiry addressed
to ?. H. McC., Brooklyn, Will bring full
repOrts
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

Members Of Congress who honestly
think they have earned their salaries
this session will be vice 10 draw the
amount without trying 10 get their
vouchers initiated ~ T r
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19
Captain Oysters Views.

Capt James F. oyster. president OF
the Board Of Education. said that the
recommendations OF Chief Relt. con-
corning the abandonment OF frame
buildings. are entirely in accord with
the views OF the members Of the board
Better school buildings are what we
have been working for for a year said
Captain oyster. Il am glad % know
that the chief OF the Fire Department
is with US"
Captain Oyster said that upon receipt
Of the report he viii confer with the
building committee Of the board with a
view 10 det ermine what action IS ueces-
sary for the betterment or conditions.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

The Tobacco trust IS going up in
smoke. according TO reports. which Will
Justify a touch Of salt for seasoning 5
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

Incomplete returns from the oregon
primaries indicate that Senator Fulton
has taken the cake.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

Fifteen bulls tore loose in Mexico
City and terrorized the town. II does
seem strange that these Mexicans can
never get a bull into the fighting humor
except when fighting is just the thing
ne isn't desired 10 do.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

Archbishop Ryan's views on the sub
jet OF marriage could be studied with
interest and profit by large and in
creasing number Of folks in this coun-
try. Among them people who make
quick-divorce laws in thrifty cOmmuni-
ties for the benefit Of the matrimonial
lightning change artists.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

Los Angeles viii just have 10 30 10
church today; not because f. wanted
10. but because the fleet moved on in
order TO give IL the chance. Here s
hoping Los Angeles will live up to its
name.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

A Congressional investigate OF the
Paper trust would make considerable
noise. but 81 wouldn't be likely 90 help
the publishers half so much as a Con-
gressionaI vote OF a bin 10 remove the
tariff
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-04-19

The amount being small, IL didn't
take "Fiugey' Corners very Icing 10
pay his respects 10 Colonel Bryan