The bee., 1908-04-02

says "Cahn't." - -, -
! flock to our house-it was entirely I'M
explainable.
Essemere is such a frightfully ex.
elusive suburb that each new arrival
runs a regular red Indian gantlet be-
fore he is either admitted as a real
'belonger" or dropped.
The first evening l met DIR. Bill
conner l was impressed with his broad
''a's"-one simply can't fail to be a
bit respectful when a new man says
"cahn't" instead of cant" and does
1t as IL he was in the habit of saying
Il always before breakfast instead Of
just saying it for evening-and 1t did
not take more than ten minutes before
he had very slkillfully dragged in the
fact that he was born and bred in
Worcester, Mass, and that to him all
the rest Of the earth was composed Of
waste places.
Just as IL we're hypnotized, found
myself murmuring that l could quite
understand his feelings because my
mother came from Boston. stopped
before l added that she was three
years old when she left that sublimat
ed city.
OF course that remark led on to the
subject Of families. II seemed that
he had a relative who was in the IA
nous tea party. l responded promptly
with the story of my ancestor who
killed a hundred men, more or less,
with one glance of his eye in the revo.
luton. l couldn't recall that 1 had
dragged out that great-grandparent
before in years, but l did it breath
lessly for DR.. Billcomer's benefit. 1t
was awful.
The evening that | managed to
mention the chancellor and then at his
murmur to stop with a little lift Of
my eyebrows to say that Of course he
wouldn't know-it was stupid Of me
but that my fathers uncle had been
the lord high chancellor Of that coun-
try at the time Of which we were
speaking, felt more set up than the
time | won the cup at golf.
Afterward l sputtered to Grifhth, my
older brother, because had to get rid
of my mental tumult somehow.
"Dr. Billcomer would be all right" |
told Grin, III he wasn't such a fright
full snob! What is worse, he makes
me be a snob, too! With other men
| can carry on a sustained converse
ton on intelligent topics, but when he
and talk all we do is try to cap each
others Boosting!
Grin confessed that he felt the
same way and, what was more, all
the other fellows did. too. In the pres
ence Of DR.. Billcomer they lost their
heads ard tried to live up to him.
Then behind his back they muttered
dehantly that he was a lobster and
privately suffered under the conviction
that they themselves were becoming
Holsters also.
There was, | discovered at last, a
perfect epidemic Of Boosting in Esse-
mere. We all grew more languid In
our speech and resurrected all our good
points in pedigree and accomplish
ments. Above the tumult DR.. Bill
comer's little song still rose tri-
umphant, calling us on to stin greater
heights of snobbery, and we followed.
Each time l was in his society / hated
myself worse-and otherwise he would
have been SO nice!
Some weeks after Dr. Billcomer be-
gan to have this dreadful effect on
Essemere Grin came to me one day
with the light OF a great discovery in
his eyes. He looked happy
What do you thsnk?" he said.
"Bincomer is all right! What we've
suffered is nothing to him. We've
got rather chummy lately and he
confided tonight that never in his
life had he struck such a snobbish
place as Essemere. Fight against II
as he world, he said. he had TO go
the pace himself to keep his head
above water. He said he had worn
himself ont with boasting In order to
prove that he was on par with the
supercillous residents-and he was
dead tired of II and sick and ashamed
OF himself"
held my head down weakly while
the light broke over me also. Then
he hadn't meant in the least to have
that effect on me-or any one else!
He wasn't that way really at all
was In such a hurry to start In all
ovss Rgain and get acquainted with
-. ,attA.,...ar normally that Whon
Grin added that he'd asked the doctor
up to dinner realized ~iresh bow nll
ful a really intelligent srotheF can Re
In the scheme of thipXs.
But the worst OF Il is thar tl;ere
must be ore great and original sneP
Ia Essemere TO create such a situH
ton and 1t Is interesting 10 speoulsae
ON Who Il Is. Anyhow. I'm glad Il .sn'l
Dr.. Bllloomerl Chicago Daily News