Charlevoix county herald., 1908-05-16

orator is let down from his pinnacle
and expends his energy in loud talk in
his immediate vicinity, until some
low-browed gentleman advises him to
"cut it out" at the same time casting
perfectly annihilating look in his
direction.
The old stagers always enjoy these
interludes. They smile grimly, get
fresh grip on their cigars and elevate
the weeds reminiscently in skyward
angle. They keep watchful cognizance
when their wards are about to be
reached and, il chairmen, rise in
stantly at the word, shout clearly the
vote and, whether it be recorded
right or wrong, they settle down
stoically into the attitude OF mere
spectators. Far be it from them to
'holler' if the cards are stacked"
against them. They would do the
same il they had the power. The
other fellows have the whip-hand to-
day; when it shifts, they will give
their opponents the same dose. But
to cavort around on the floor wailing
out "Meestair Chairmannn." not for
them. They are too wise to resort to
such puerile foolshness.
Nothing can exceed the perfect re-
pose which marks the proceedings AZ
relates to the officers and head men
who have it in charge. There is not
shadow of smile on the counte-
nanceS of the chairman and his assist
ants and the bosses" move around
on the floor Of the convention or as
cend to the platform with an entirely
serious and virtuous air which would
indicate extreme selfsacrifice and the
most absolute fairness to their OPP
ponents.
But once the business Is concluded,
over the cigars and cocktails these
genial gentlemen will unbend and re-
late delightedly and with rare humor
the amusing comedies played on the
convention floor. They have remem-
bered the very voices and gestures Of
the reformers and patriots, they can
!! initiate, and perfectly, the surprised
scream Of the plundered delegation, or
the stentorian yawp Of the hard boiled
orator. They enjoy these things with
the gusto Of the connoisseur, the po-
litical bon vivant But at the hall, and
in the midst of the carnage, they are
as suave as panthers and as remorse-
less as cannibals. Everything goes
in politics." is their motto, that is,
everything but honesty.
Coming back from my last political
convention l met Jack Derby in the
smoker" Jack was from the ward
next to mine, and l had missed him
just before the voting began. I had
noticed a stranger in his seat when /
came in rather late, but still in time
TO vote. Jack was moody and his head
was done up in gaudy handkerchief.
whats up?" l said to him. 81 didn't
see you when the votes were being
cast"
They thrun me out" was his re-
ply. Il went over to see a friend O.
mine in the fourteenth and when got
back to me seat they was guy there
in it. l grabbed him and he caught
hold Of me arms. The sarge" (ser.
geant-at-arms) came runnin' up an
this guy gives him the wink an says
this feller's a pick-pocket. Before
could hand him one the sarge" grabs
inches seven feet long and four feet
through-and he wings me to the door
in four jumps and fires me by the neck
and pants. See? An l lose me vote
an don't get in the hall again"
That's tough Jack" was nv CON.
solatory reply.
Tough" said Mr.. Derby, with an
injured air, AN l was goin' to vote
right all the time. think that ser.
geant must be bugs"
ERNEST M'GAFFEY
Copyright, by Joseph g. Bowles)