davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
HER NEWSPAPER DAD.
he Isn't Always Cross; Sometimes He
Is Positively Jubilant.

Is Positively Jubilant.
Newspaper daddies are funny, /
think Mines one. He's funniest at
breakfast only II isn't breakfast.
cause it's lunch. and that's another
funny thing about IT,
where's smornin's paperT he asks
mamma the first thing when he comes
downstairs. And then when she looks
sort Of childishly at him cause he's a
little gruff he hurries up and says,
"GOod morning, everybody" just as
though he felt kinda 'shamed OF him
self.
And then he won't talk when he gets
his old paper. He just sticks his nose
into it and looks at one page after an
other just as fast as he can, and then
he begins all over again and does it
slower and keeps still for quite awhile.
Then mamma and / wait for an ex-
plosion.
"Ijitsw he says. "They couldn't spell
cat right"
Then he goes chasing from one page
10 another as fast as ever he can, talk
mad he shouts at mamma: "They
buried it, See. They buried it back
there-way back there, Of course, and
it's the best story in the paper!'
Then mamma says, quiet, like calm
after a storm, Gene, dear, your cof-
fee II get cold"
But he's more like a bear than a
dear, and he doesn't come, but he
keeps on growing at the old paper. l
guess he finally gets tired Of himself,
too, and then he jumps up, throws the
paper on the chair and tries to dodge
mammals funny smile.
Mammals awfully patient, think,
and she never gets mad, but just smiles
and smiles at daddy when he gets cross
at things. Sometimes she asks him
why he wants to keep on being news
paper man If it's so awful. One time
he answered and said it was because
If he kept on working sixteen hours a
day maybe the Office would some time
give him as much as the stereotyper
gets for working eight hours q day.
Mamma said that was sarcasm. guess
he thinks sarcasm must be good thing
for the office, cause he most always
talks that way about'it
But newspaper daddies aren't always
cross. Sometimes mine hurries down
stairs a whole lot earlier, and then
when he grabs the paper he smiles all
over and shouts at mamma:
"See that story? That's clean scoop,
and a bully one! That's worth living
for! And, say, won't the fellows on
the old Bugle feel sore, though!
II tell you," he says then, "one day
like that is worth a bicycle of Cathay,"
whatever that Is.
And then mamma looks at me and
smiles, cause we both think he's fun
ny sometimes.-Des Moines Qa.) Reg
lister.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
PRESENCE OF MIND.
A Madhouse Doctors Experience With
His Crazy Cooks.

A Madhouse Doctors Experience With
His Crazy Cooks.
A celebrated Scotch physician tells
story of a madhouse doctor whose
presence of mind alone saved his life:
"a great friend Of mine was for q
considerable time the medical superin-
tendent of lunatic asylum near Glas-
gov.
"One night In making his customary
rounds he had occasion to visit the pa.
tients In the kitchen, who were pre-
pairing the dinner. There were seven
Of them, all big, sturdy fellows, who
were believed to be harmless. The
keeper only looked in upon them now
and again, feeling that his constant
presence was unnecessary.
"The doctor unlocked the iron barred
door Of the kitchen and went In
among the lunatics.
There were Ave large boilers con-
tanning scalding water ready for max
ing the days dinner for the patients.
"One of the lunatics pointed at the
boilers full Of hot water and, laying
his hand upon the doctors shoulder,
said, Doctor you'll make a fine pot
Of broth And the words had no soon
er been uttered than the other six mad
men shouted In voice of delight,
Just the thing and, seizing the doc
tor, were in the very act of putting
him into one of the large boilers of
scalding water when the doctor had
the presence of mind to say, but not
second too soon:
"'Capital broth! But 1t would taste
better II l took my clothes Off
"The madmen, with yell Of delight,
said Yes and the doctor asked them
to wait a moment while he went and
took his clothes off. But as soon as he
got out of the kitchen he turned the
key in the door and ordered the keep
er to see to the lunatics being put un-
der restraint.
THE doctors presence of mind saved
him, 1t is true, from terrible death,
but he died shortly after raving mad.
The experience had destroyed his rea-
son."
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
HOLLAND MUSTARD.
Some Of the Virtues Aseribed to Il and
One Way to Make IL.

Holanders use enormous quantities
Of mustard and thrive on the condi-
ment. There is a small spot In Overys-
sci, think 1t is near Goor, where the
land slopes gently down to the river
Ijsel and is a brown gray clay. This is
fashioned into she cutest little jugs
you ever saw, holding about a pint
each, and the genuine Dutch mustard,
made only In that pocket borough, ac-
cording 20 a secret process handed
down for many generations, is hermet-
ically sealed therein. 1t will keep for
years and h as delicious as the finest
confection. 1t is butter, cheese and
condiment 10 the Hollanders who can
afford it. And there is no other place
on earth where that mustard can be
bought.
You might ask, "Why do the Hol
landers eat so much mustardP The
answer is: The Holland mustard is a
most delightful stomach stimulant. 1T
makes the food slide down." 1t cures
the worst cases of dyspepsia. 1t keeps
the liver In fine shape. 1t is an anti
dote for the most deadly poison-cor-
rosive sublimate. 1t is in large doses
a non-nauseating emetic. 1t is the only
counterirritant handed down to us by
our grandmothers-the mustard plas-
ter. The Dutch girls use it sparingly
on their velvet cheeks to give rosy
complexion. When a person is down
and nearly out drink made Of pure
mustard and oil will fetch him around.
A mustard "stoop' is a certain cure
for catarrh In the nasal cavity.
Here is one Dutch method Of pre-
pairing mustard for the table: Mix
equal portions Of black and white
seeds and grind to a fine powder. Boil
this in the best vinegar till thoroughly
mixed. Crate some fresh horseradish,
squeeze out the juice and add to the
mustard. Then put In a little salt,
little sugar, little turmeric, q little
fenugreek and a little white honey.
You will eat this on your bread, cake,
pie, battercakes and waffies, your
meats, fish, game and poultry.-New
York Press.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
Oriqin of the Postal Card.

In 1869, while Professor Emanuel
Hermann of Vienna was seeking a
vast amount of information by corre-
spondence for his notable book, "The
Guide to the Study Of National Econ
omy." the thought occurred to him
that many advantages would result
from the adoption of a means of cor
respondence cheaper than the sealed let
ter. On Jan. 26 he went before the
Austrian post director with his idea,
an open, stamped card, and his sugges-
ton was almost Immediately adopted.
Within a month the Austrian postal
authorities printed and sold 100000
postal cards and thus established this
Indispensable means of communication.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
An Episode In Court.

"You are charged with snatching 4
womau's pockctbook."
81 know it, judge. But wouldn't do
such n thing, hungry and broke as |
am"
TOO conscientious, | supposeT
mo. | don't pretend that. But why
should | snatch womans pocket
book? What would want with cou-
pie of car tickets. powder rag, a
piece Of chewing gum and dressmak-
ers address,
Once more shrewd criminal over
shot his mark. His familiarity with
the contents convicted him. Washing
ton Star
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
JOHNSTON

The following real estate transfers have
been placed on file at the Office OF the Town
Clerk of Johnston:
Stephen w. Sessions to Edmund Nj War
rcn, about 80 acres OF land with improve
ments on Manton avenue, $40
Bernard Graichen ct uX by mortgage to
John f. Dunn, 5 lots with improvements
ON Dyeryilc and Manton Village plat 81 500
Daniel Winsor heirs ct al to Everett {.
Wells. about - acres of land with improve
mcnts near King Burying Ground SIo.i
Everett G. Wells to Jacob w. Wilbur,
about - acres with improvements near
King Brrying Ground $40.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
a Great LAWYERS Method.

Writing Of Civilian Leaders of the
Confederacy" in the Louisville Courier
Journal, John Goode says Of judah p.
Benjamin:
"The first time | met him we dis
cussed the practice Of law, and in the
course Of the conversation he asked me
what we considered a good fee in my
part of the country, to which | replied
that we considered $500 very respect
able fee. He smiled and said: when
| practiced law in New Orleans If a
man employed me l charged him a re-
tainer. If he came about the office
much | charged him reminder, when
| had done some work in the case |
charged him a refresher, and when it
was all over | charged him finisher."
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
DUELING STORIES.
6irardin's Satisfaction and a Winnina
Choice Of Weapons.


NJ. de Girardin, the father OF the
statesman and author. Emile de Girar-
din, on one occasion entered a place
where several men were firing at q
target A gentleman present, whom
N. de Glrardin did not know. hit the
bullseye at every shot. Several by
standers expressed themselves in very
great admiration OF the gentleman's
precision.
yes" said De Girardln, "he shoots
remarkably well, but it's quite a differ
ent thing TO hit a man in duel from
hitting piece Of pasteboard."
The marksman overheard the remark
and was offended
81 think you are mistaken sir" he
said TO De Glrardln. 81 assure you that
If had you before me shouldn't miss
you"
"You can have me when you like
said De Girardin.
Let 1t be Immediately, then" said
the other
An attempt was made TO patch the
matter up. but neither man would
agree to an amlcable settlement The
seconds were chosen, and the men
went to a locality favorable for the
duel. 1t was decided that they should
fire separately, and 1t was left to a de-
cislon by lot which fired first.
The lot fell to the mysterious marks
man. He fired at NJ. de Girardln and
missed him. De Girardin stood still.
making no sign as If to fire at his an.
tagonist.
"Come, why don't you shoot" asked
his seconds.
"Why should ! shootp asked De Gil
rardn. "There Is no reason why
should kill this gentleman. I main
talned that even a crack shot could
easily miss his man at twenty-five
PAGES. This gentleman maintained the
contrary. He must now be convinced
that he Is wrong. ! owe him no i'll will
for having discovered that"
A better method Of meeting a duel
Ing challenge was no doubt one which
by a French statesman against NJ. Vic
tor Noir, an illiterate bully Of the press
in the time Of the second empire. The
statesman received from Noir, for no
real reason whatever. a challenge to
fight a duel.
Noir was n densely ignorant man,
and nearly every word I'm the challenge
was misspelt. The statesman respond.
ed with the following letter:
Dear Sn-You have called me out with
out any good reason. / have therefore
the choice OF weapons. l choose the
spelling book. and you are n dead man.
The duel was never fought-London
Tit-Bits.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
MANTON

DR.. A. ID. Rose has a new runabout auto
Daniel Evans is going into the ice busi-
ness.
Charles Quinn IS confined to his home by
illness.
S. S. Gardiner is making some repair
about his place
William Conway has removed to Hillside
Avenue from Lymansvile.
Fred Walch has taken a position with
A. w. Steere on the state road.
Lenten service will be held today ar St.
Peters and St. homas Churches
ST. Gertrude's Branch, /. {. b. u, will
give a minstrel show after Easter.
Mr.. and Mrs. Robert Richardson have
just returned from stay in New York.
A travelling library has been placed a
the residence Of Miss Mary Coughlin.
For stylish up-to-date Easter Hats at
low prices see DesRoches5 Olneyvilie
Square.
Beginning next Sunday combination ser.
vice will be held at the Church OF Christ
beginning at 10 a. m.
]. w. McCabe's news depot will be
closed at 10 O'Clock sharp on Sunday, ApriI
10Th and there after.
The pin boys Of the Manton alleys play
the Bullock's Palace pin boys next Monday
evening in Providence.
The Manton Avenue Grammar School
have an illustrated lecture in the School
Hall next Thursday evening.
The Arrow Club met on Wednesday even
ing with Miss Marion Macomber. A pleas
ing program was given and refreshments
served.
Bishop McVickar was at St. Peters
Church last Sunday morning and preach
ed the sermon. In the evening he confirm
ed class of young people.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
Test For Hydrochloric Acid.

A curious mishap gave us very del
icate test for hydrochoric acid In the
atmosphere. In north Of England
locality many houses have curtains Of
the cream color produced by metanil
yellow, popularity known as dolly
cream dye and to science as 'the So
dium salt of ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS sui
phonic ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS" Some
Of these cream colorcd curtains sud-
denly changed TO heliotrope. lnvesti-
CATION showed that an accidental es-
cape of hydrochloric acid from neigh
boring alkali plant had discolored the
curtains, and the dye became most
useful test.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
ROCKLAND

For stylish up-to-date Easter Hats at
low prices see DcsRoches', Olneyvllle
Square.
Charles Corbin, the little son Of Mr.. and
Mrs. Lester Corbn, died on Saturday after
a short illness The funeral service was
held on Tuesday at the Rockland Church
Several of the young men of this place
went trout fishing last Saturday afternoon.
The only catch was Rudolph Reno, who
was caught in the ear by the hook OF one
OF his enthusiastic companions.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
Australia.

The first. civilized settlement I'm Aus.
tralla was made at Botany bay In 1873
by some 1880 persons. mostly convlcts.
In 1926 Moreton bay, New South
Wales. was settled. The settlement Of
Western Australia dates from 1929
Explorations of Australia began I'm
1916 and have been kept up at inter
walls ever since The greater part OF
the interior OF the continent il little
better than desert. being either sand
or dense shrub or porcuplne bush. In
1875 Giles traverscd territory 900
miles In extent which was declared
~unit for human habitation." And
yet the artesian well may yet make
Australia bloom like garden.-New
York American.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
HARDNESS OF DIAMONDS.
The Stones Can Be Forced by Pres
sure Into Steel Blocks.

S'N~'N~N
A word as to the hardness OF dia-
monds. They vary much in this re-
spect. Even different parts of the
same crystal differ in their resistance
to cutting and grinding. So hard Is
diamond in comparison to glass that n
suitable splinter of diamond will plane
curls off glass plate rs n carpenters
tool will plane shavings off deal
board. Another experiment that VIII
illustrate its hardness Is to place a
diamond on the tlattened end OF a
conical block of steel and upon 1t
bring another similar cone of steel. If
force them together with hydraulic
power. | can force the stone into the
steel blocks without injuring the dia-
mond In the least The pressure which
| have brought to bear In this expert
ment has been equal TO 40 tons a
square inch of diamond.
The only serious rival of the diamond
I'm hardness is the metal tantalum. In
an attempt TO bore hole through n
plate of this metal diamond drill
was used, revolving at the rate OF
5000 revolutions n minute. This whirl-
ing force was continued ceaselessly for
three days and nights, when 1t was
found that only a small point one
fourth OF a millimeter deep had been
drilled and 1t was moot point which
had suffered most damage. the dia
mond or the tantalum.
After exposure for some time TO the
sun many diamonds glow in n dark
room. One beautiful green diamond In
my collection when phosphorescing in
vacuum gives almost as much light
as n candle. and you can easily read by
its rays. But the time has hardly come
when we can use diamonds Us domes.
tic iluminants.-Si William Crookes
I'm North American Review.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
Why He Was SUSPICIOUS.

There is something suspicious about
that" remarked the young man named
Brown as he hung up the telephone re-
celver.
About whatT
"Why, Ijust called up :he home OF a
girl who has led me TO believe that |
am the warm favorite and that there
are no others on her list She wasn't
at home. SO the party who answered
the ring said. but IL gave me n Jar
when she added. shall tell her you
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
CENTERDALE

The Misses King of Alendale are learn
ing telegraphy.
H. A. Fenner has recently purchased a
fine black horse.
Miss Irene Christian is confined to her
home by illness.
Mrs. Evelyn Cooke Williams is confined
to her home by illness.
Society printing a speciality at the TIMES
Office Olneyvlle Square.
Rev L J. Hervey spoke at the Primative
Methodist Church last Sunday,
Fred Sweet has had his house on Smith
street supplied with city water.
Easter services will be held at St Alban's S
Church next Sunday at 8 a. m. and p. m.
For stylish up.to-date Easter Hats at low
prices see DesRoches', Olneyville Square.
Bishop McVickar confirmed six candi-
dates at St. Alban's Church on Monday
evening.
A number from this place attended
dance at Wilkinson's Hall, Greenyille on
Saturday evening
William Ellis Of East Greenwich, a for
mer resident OF this place, called on friends
here on Saturday.
Roy Rock is playing base ball in his old
form this spring, much to the delight of
his Centerdale friends.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
HARMONY

All grades Of Bowker's fertilizers and
Animal meal for poultry; also the famous
Stockbridge potato, corn and top dressing
as well as the International Stock Food
and their famous International remedies
can be found at n l., Vaughn's agent, Vii
lage farm, Greenwlle.
For stylish up-to.date Easter Hats at
lsw prices see DcsRocIes', OlneyvllIe
Square.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
An Unconscious Toast.

Lord Clyde one day after dinner ask
ed a chaplain TO one Of the regiments
in India for a toast. who. after con-
sidering some time, at length exclaim'
ed. with great simplicity:
"Alas and alack a day! What can l
giveT"
Nothing better" replied his lordship.
"Come. gentlemen; Wen give bumper
10 the parsons toast. a lass and lac
n day"
A lac means 100000 rupees, or Sc5.-
600. which is certainly an income TO
make one happy.-London Chronicle.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
NORTH SCITUATE

la. Richardson Of Pascoag was in town
on Wednesday.
The Scituate town election comes the
second Wednesday in May.
Infant son of James Green of Trmtown
died last week of pneumonia.
Tramps are nearly as plenty as blue
birds and not nearly as welcome.
&c. Peckham has entered the employ
Of Armour & Company OF Providence.
Smith Brothers have just purchased
pair of horses for their delivery trade.
For stylish up-to-date Easter Hats at
low prices see DesRoches', Olneyvile
Squsre.
Miss Annie Ballou and Master Raymond
Peck have gone to Newark, N. j., for a
two weeks stay.
Mr.. and Mrs. John G.. Peckham returned
to their home in Providence last week
after three months stay in Florida.
Willard b. Wilson, secretary of the
Rhode Island Sunday School Association,
spoke in the Advent Church last evening
Calvin Woodward died at his home in
Chopmist on Saturday. The funeral was
held OH Tuesday. The burial was at the
Pocasset Cemetery.
Easter services will be held at the Free
Baptist Church next Sunday. Special
music in the morning; and Sunday School
concert in the evening.
F.E Randall undertaken of Providence,
will open branch in this place soon, oc-
cupying space in the building with M. I.
Reynolds next to the public market.
A very pretty home wedding occurred at
the brides parents, Mr.. and Mrs. John ID.
Carey, Wednesday afternoon, April IS, in
the presence of relatives and in' itedl riends
The contracting parties were Edward d.
Briggs of Attleboro, Mass, and Miss La
vinia f. Corey of Scituate. Fred l.,
Briggs acted as best man and Miss Edith
ii Corey as bridesmaid The ceremony
was performed by Rev. Robert l.. Duston,
the ring service being used. Mrs. Sydney
Adams played the wedding march. Re-
freshments were served. The bride was
prettily attired in travelling suit OF Copen
hagen blue. The bridal party went to At
tleboro, where they will make it their home
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
New Light on the Zones.

A class CT boys averaging about
twelve years OF age had been exam.
ined In geography. which had been pre-
ceded the day before by grammar
Among the questions in the geography
paper was the following:
"Name the zones"
One promising youth Of eleven years
wrote this answer:
There are two zones. masculine and
feminine The masculine is either
temperate or Incorporate; the femi
nine IS either torrid or frigld New
Yorl; Sun
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
Good REASONING.

81 don't see. madam. how you can
expect us TO pay any claim under your
husbands accident policy"
"Wel. you see it was this way:
When he asks which it was, boy or
gEl. and the nurse said that he was
the father of triplets, he dropped.
Now. his death was due TO an acci-
dent"
"IIow do you make that out?"
at was an accident of bifth. New
York Press.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
Beyond the Earth.

"Bligglns thinks he knows more than
anybody else on earth"
"You state Il mildly" answered Miss
Cayenne. "Since the assertion that
Mars Is inhabited he goes further than
that washington Star.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
aek Of Co. operation.

"I wish" said the revivalist. Broth.
er GrimShaw wasn't quite SO strong on
doctrinal points As fast as ! bring
people into the church he tries to put
them ont Of II for heresy. Chicago
Tribune
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
To Horse Owners.

George Price, the harness maker, has a
full assortment of horse blankets Tor street
and stable, carriage robes and mats, horse
covers, carriage boots and mems storm hats
aud coats. He also sells DR.. Daniels horse
medicines and Tutte's EliNer. In fact every
hing for the horse, wagon aud driver at
IS1S Westminster street.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
TOILET

A large, sunny front room, containing
one bay and two large windows, nicely
furnished, with a small private family,
situated ON Hudson street, within one min
ute walk to two electric car lines and a
short distance TO the Armory, at reason
able price. For further information adj
dress X Y l., TIMES Once Olneyville
Square. References given and required.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17

when a man writes as follows don't
YOU. think he means it, Mr.. $. q. Will
iiams, Powdarly. Texas. says, Il have
suffered for years with Kidney and
Bladder Trouble, using every prepara-
tion I came across and taking many
prescriptions all without relief until
my attention was called to Plneules.
After 80 days trial Ni.00l, I am feel
fed GRADY. the ApotherHfy. SIC
Westffiihstgf St
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
A Dear Friend.

81 hear yer fricn' Tamspn's married
again"
aye. SO he is He's been dear
frien' tae me. He's cost me three wad-
din presents an twa wreaths.
dee Advertiser.
The Olneyville times. (Olneyville [Providence, R.I.]) 1887-1917, 1908-04-17
Exercising the Dog.
In said Mrs. Wyss.

Justin said Mrs. Wyss.
"Yes." replied Mr.. wyss.
"wlll you speak kind word to Fidc
and make him wag his tailG He hasn't
had one bit OF exercise all day."-Lip-
pincott's.