davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

Two gentlemen dining In . Nev
York restaurant we're surprised to nnd
on the bill-offare the item. green
bluensh--
Waiter" one asked. what sort Of
fsh are green bluefshy-
-Fresh-right out Of the water
said the waiter. ofhzr5.
Nonsense said the man You
know well enough tha, they do not
take bluefsh At this season
The waiter came up and looked af
the disputed item
oh. that. sir he said. with an
air Of enlightenment. that's q hot.
house eluensh. sir.--Youth's Com.
panicr-
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12
Might Be Werse.

What you swearin' about!- In
qrired the farmer.
oh" growled the disguised motor
list. between oaths. this machines
broke down and can't get 1t to 60"
Gosh, you're in luck Last feIler
] seen round here got al broke up
cause he couldn't get his to stop
Philadelphia Press.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12
The Invincible Smile.

The man who continues to smile, no
matter what the provocation to do
otherwise. has a weapon that makes
him hopelessly invincibie to his enc
mics. The man who becomes angry
hands over his best weapon to the
pposition.-MazzinL
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12
Diplomacy.

Why do you make . practice Of
predicting bad weather."
It's the safest plan." answered the
professional prophet. IF the bad
weather prediction comes true. people
have to admit / am right, and IL the
weather is pleasant they feel too good
natured to care whether l was right
or wrong"
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

than whom there i- no better Potato Ex.
pert IN the country says: -salzer's Earli-
est Potato y the earliest of b sariiest
sorts, tried BY ne. yielding s6s bu. per
aere- Salzers Early Wisconsin yielded
for the Rural New Yorker 73 bu. per
acre See salzer's eatalox about them
JUST SEND Ice N STAMPS
sni this notice TO the John A. Salzer
seed Co. La Crosse, Wis. and they will
mail you the only original SEED catalos
published in America with samples of
Emperor William Oats. Silver hing Bar
icy, Billion Dollar Grass which produces
y tons per acre Sainfoin, the dry soil
lrxurlator. etc, etc. etc.
And II you send l&e we will add a pack.
age Of new farm seeds never before seen
by you X. 4 W.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12
On Cutting Sermons Short.

TITS fact" remarked a well-known
local minister of long experience the
other day, that a minister cannot be
successful these days unless he holds
his sermons down to reasonable brew
ty. These Jokes you hear about long
sermons aren't Just jokes. The peo-
pie Of to-day won't put up with long
sermons ] found thar out a number
Of years ago In another city. I had
loticed that the congregation had
Jeen gradually thinning out. and
oegsn to preach sermons Of not more
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12
Perfectly Plain.

WITH all the impartiality Of the par
tisan. Prof Price set forth the con-
tentions Of both political parties re-
gzrdinx the tariff
At the close Of his talk he was sur
rounded By tbs fair members OF the
WoUan's Current Eveats club.
20 Prof Price eooe5 the fairest.
thank you 80 much for your perfectly
lovely talk understand all about
the tari- new It's Just like a lovers
oonparisons-the free-traders are the
ether girls,--Snnday Magazine.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12
Always Time TO Reform,

No man is wholly bad. and in all
lives some moments come when the
vision presents itself of a worthier
and happier life which might be lived.
What is needed Is courage to make
the start. for. while life lasts, 1t is
never too late.-E. c. Burke.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

lifting q b avy
weight q sudden
pain shot through
my back and after
that | was in CON
stant misery from
kidney trouble. One
spell kept me in bed
six weeks. Ny arms
and legs were stIa
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

A Connecticut man tells OF two
Irishmen from Boston who. while driv-
ing through the state named. observed
that many of the barns had weather.
vanes in the shape OF huge ROSTERS.
Dennis" said one Irishman to the
other. can ye tell me why they al
ways have q rooster an niver a hin
on the top of thin barns?"
Sure" replied Dennis. Its because
OF the difficulty they'd have in col
licting the eggs"
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

7 tell you" began the first club
man there never was a cat like my
wife"
"Oh. come. now" protested the
other. that's a pretty rough thing to
say"
oh. you misunderstood me. I
mean to say II doesn't matter how
dark 1t is when I get home. she can
always see what my condition is."-
Philadelphia Press.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12
A sIip.

Jack tstudying geography)-Father.
what is a strait?
Father treading the paper)-Ffve
cards Of a-that is. a narrow strip Of
water connecting two larger bodies
Harper's Weekly.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

Ella-You shouldn't look q gift
horse In the mouth.
Stella-But how are you going to
tell whether the present is new or
not?-Harper's Weekly.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

II the opportunity for great deeds
should never come. the opportunity
for good deeds is renewed for you day
By day.-Farrar.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

A Word from Josh Wise.
Its cause he doesn't talk back that
tn oysters given so much sauce"
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

A Sore Throat or Cough.
II suffered to progress. may affect the
lungs. Browns Bronchial Troches"
give immediate relief.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

Love is not getting. but giving; not
a mild dream Of pleasure, but good
ness. and peace. and noble nving-that
fs love indeed.-van Dyke.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12
Il Cures While You Walk.

Aliens Foot-Ease is a certain cure for
hot, sweating. callous. and swollen. aching
feet Sold by all Druggists. Price 2sc. Don't
accept any substitute. Trial package FREE.
Address Allen s. Olmsted, L. Roy, n. Y.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

The poor you have always with
you. said a woman to her husband
who had = mania for Offering excuses
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12
SHOWN QUITE PLAINLY.

Magistrate-The evidence shows
thar you threw a "a. iron and sauce
pan az your husband
Mrs Bulligan-shure. an be ths
look q In Il shows as hit in
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

fou ought to be satisfied with no,hin.
less than Natures laxative. Garfeid Tea
Made of Herbs. it overcomes Constipation.
regulates liver and kidneys, and bring,
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

PILES CURED In To IL DAYa
rAxo oiSIMkST Il guarznteed 10 eurp anv -,
g, n:nng Bind Bise1fng or Prutrsli1r PifsS IN
sto IL days or monsg rsfunded. 81 -
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

Tayior's Cherokee Remedy Of sweet
"sn sad Asises is Natures great rem
edy-Cures Coughs, Colds. Group and Con
sumption. and all throat and hung troubles
At druggists, 25c. Soc and 81 90 per bottle,
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

Persecution is not wrong because II
Is cruel. but cruel because 1t is wrong.
-Whately.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

ONLY ONE -BROMO QUININE-
That is LAXATIVE BRONO oC1SiNE I~,< a..
tns egnStare Of =, ": GRovk Ussd tks Wors1
over 70 Curs . Cold In One nny. Sc
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

Multiplying her words seldom Adds
to . woman's popularity.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12
WHAT CAUSES Hxap.cur

from October to May. Colds are the most fr--
J1snt saase OF Headache. LAXATIVE BROMO
SeiSiNE removes cause. E-w Grove on DO : sc
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12
A WELL MAN, At 81.
This Interesting Experienee Of m cid
Settler Of virpinia.

Daniel s. Queen. 3urren Street,
Salem. Va. says: Years ago while
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

In looking out for No. 2 q widow
looks out for No. l.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

Mrl Wfnessw's ssossing syrup.
For ehfidren tesshnx. softens the eur.s rrdue>. -
aannsssoa- aiisys psaA- eurus viad esa- c bosxie
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

Spain Educating Policemen.
Giving her policemen helmets. Spain
IL also sending then to school Tor u
monthA
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

Malice supplies the want of aga
Latin.
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

Scripture Authority Il Kings. Chap
ter Is
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

important 10 Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for
Infants and children. and see that il
Bears the ~
signature af&2ZzNx
IN Use For Over 30 Years.
The Kind You Have Always Bought.
Tire Thoughtful Author.
y don't Ike tie title of your latest
novel
So-ry-because in that book I
studied the interest OF my readers"
In what way
Killed ny hero in the middle Of the
story"
Oxford eagle., 1908-03-12

Get Busy.
TT costs 70 advertise"
SON person says
BIT what q that7 This much is fat,
Il always pays.
The Washington times., 1908-08-22
EMBROIDERED UMBRELLAS
ARE THE LATEST FAD
FOR YOUNG GIRLS

A pretty bit of fancy work for
young gir, to attempt is to embroider in
a casual way one of the large white
cotton umbrellas used by artists.
This Is in imitation of the very attrac-
tive ones that are being brought back
by travellers from the different parts OF
Italy They do not sell them in this
country.
OF course, no one wants to go in for
painstaking and elaborate embroidery
on such a foundation but any girl who
Is skillful with her needle can put on
a bold, effective design in long loose
stitches, using vivid coIors.
This work is done In three broad
stripes around the umbrella with a line
of plain &C clOTing separating a lowered
effect. The latter is done in orange and
black, or il red. blue. and violet. or in
brown, yellow, and pink.
The embroidery viii not bear close in
spection, hut who cares when the effect
is charming and the idea may only last
a short day?
The Washington times., 1908-08-22
SUMMER BEAUTY DONT'S.

DDu't drink !ce-water when very hot;
s. msEes yoIE face break out.
Don't neglsct to est greens and sal
sds. They thiE your blood and make
you less red faced
Don't fai to shampoo oftener than in
winter, or your hair will grow dead and
6ru locking
Don't let your lingerie blOuses ''slop''
81 the neck for lack OF bones.
Don't wear starched linen collars II
you are full blooded; it will make your
face Tuddier than ever
Don't wear Dutch neCkS If you have
6 long, thin throat or one that IL mus
CUlar.
Don't eat heavy FOODS or take aICo-
h0lC drinks on very hot days; you viii
be hotter if you dO-and look It.
Don't think il smart to neglect your
skin by going without hat in the
br0iliug sun.
Don't let the mosquitoes get at your
IaCe-if you can help it-and don
scratch the bites open IL you can't.
Don let your Iace get SHINY, when
little alcohol or powder viii prevent
Don't fail to keep yourself trim and
dainty, Learn TO do your own iaun-
dry, II necessary, but do not wear
clothes that are wrinkled and soiled.
Don't fuss over tribes: IL Will make
you warm and uncomfortable. and won
Improve your looks.
The Washington times., 1908-08-22
WORKBAGS OF SCRIM LATEST
USE FOR THIS CHEAP AND
FACILE MATERIAL

Scrim becomes more popular every
day and now pretty workbags are made
of this facile and inexpensive material
The weave is so coarse and the thread
50 fine that il is easily embroidered in
many ways. and when lined with a light
lawn the result is charming.
The one seen was lined with pink.
while pink embroidery ribbon formed
dainty primrOses on both sides.
What a good idea it would be to have
three such bags. one pink, one yellow
and one blue. The first might be re-
served for the little bits Of embroidery
usually on hand IN summer. the second
would be appropriate for mending. and
the third might be kept for the un-
darned stockings which collect with
such alarming Tapidity.
With such an arrangement one could
tell at a glance which bag contained the
work desired at the moment, and 1t
would save much confusion.
They need not each be embroidered in
the same way either If the pink were
decorated with pTimroses, the yellow
one would be charming with daisies
bought ready made by the dozen-in
any size. The blue could be decorated
with a pretty oid-fashioned cross-stitch
design in heavy blue silk floss.
The Washington times., 1908-08-22
NEWEST THING IN BAGGAGE
is THE MERRY WIDOW HAT
BOX NOW IN STORES

The newest kind of baggage offered
for travel this season is ths Merry
Widow hat box.
1t is a delight to the woman who
would not wear a Merry Widow hat
for any amount OF money or pleasure
offered her to DO so.
The hat box has taken it's name from
the hat, Of course; but its capacious
depth holds many a garment.
The woman who doesn't want to take
a trunk on a trip or a visit that would
last only a few days has just what she
desires in this new hat box.
It is amazing how much can be put
away in it. Not only can any hat be
securely pinned to its upper lining, but
an evening gown, top wrap, a change
Of underwear, all sorts of accessories
and toilet articles can be folded care
fully in the bottom.
1t can be checked through like a
trunk or carried on the top Of ones
cab like a suit case.
It comes in all sorts of smart cover
ings II is particularly pretty, covered
as all English boxes are, with black
OilclOth, carrying the name or initials
in white paint on one side.
The Washington times., 1908-08-22
FASHION MAKERS UNCERTAIN
AS TO PROPER STYLES
FOR NEXT SEASON

II IS now demi-seaSon, that time OF
the year when even the great creators
OF fashion themselves are somewhat
uncertain about the styles which will
be worn. 1t is we'll enough 10 say that
sheath gowns will be worn, or direCtOire
empire. or princess. but it is quite an
other thing TO decide which one of the
styles mentioned will appeal to the
women who must wear them. It is. OF
course, safe TO say that all these ideas
will be carried our to an extent-but
which will be the predominating note,
which Will be the favorite of tickle wo-
man, II is hard to tell.
Thens again the directoire style made
with short skirt is incorrect. and now
, that the French women have adopted
the penchant Of Americans for the
1roitteur, il is impossible with certainty
10 foretelI the absolute popularity Of a
style which does not look well for street
wear For afternoon calls and for those
charming little tea parties at RumpIe-
meieTs and the COlumbin. nothing
could be more attractive than the long
sweeping skirt of modified ''merveil-
leUse.'
OF course this time of year brings out
many tentative styles, such as the huge
hats of velvet and felt and the very
long coats eIaborstely trimmed with
braid and buttons. They may take. and
they may not. 1t depends very much
upon who first adopts them.
The Washington times., 1908-08-22
FOLLOWS HUSBAND
AS JAIL WARDEN
Only Official Woman Prison
Keeper in World Is a
Swiss Widow.

There IS only one official woman jailer
IN the world. Her name is Jenny
Porchet, and she lives in Switzerland
She IS governor and warder OF the prIs-
on Of AIgle. IN the Rhone valley.
II came about in this way.
TRrty years ago Nine. Porchet mar
ried the chief warder of the prison. and
soon phoved to be a heipmeet indeed,
for being a strongly built woman. and
with proper notions of discipline. she
made as good a jailer as her husband,
and more than once did his work when
he Sus i'll or away.
: NEen he died the authorities asked
her 10 take his place permanently, and
she accepted
Al the year round the Aigle prison
contains from twelve TO twenty male
prisoners. sentenced 10 terms of i'm
pTisonment ranging from three months
10 three years. and although the woman
Jailer has no assistants. she has never
had any trouble with the prisoners-ex
cept, indeed. on one occasion many
years ago. when a hurly ruffian at
tackled her
Nine. Porchet taught him a lesson in
good behavior that confined him in the
hospital for several weeks.
Strict disciplinaTian though she is, the
woman Jailer has the kindliest Of hearts.
ana takes great interest in her guests, -
as she calls them. Many a prisoner has
been set on the straight path again by
her wise and kindly advice.
The Washington times., 1908-08-22
FROM BETTINA'S WEAKNESS ONE MAY
LEARN THAT ALL WOMEN RATHER
FANCY THEIR INSTEPS.

Catching sight Of Bettina's silk-elad
ankle just now, and of Betina's high
heeled and extremely fetching shoes.
ornamented with attractive buckles. it
occurred 10 me that footwear has been
a themA~for the poets from time imme-
morial and that even the feminine
writer on a newspaper might find some
thing TO say about 1t.
remember Bettina when she wore
shoes without any heels at all, and
when her foot was shapeless and as
much too big for her as are st. Ber-
nard puppy's paws for him. Bettina
has grown up 20 her feet since, and
even past them. and now she wears
dreadfully short skirts and immodeP-
ately high heels, and is very proud Of
her extremities. 1 would say pedal ex-
tremities il L were not afraid that the
ogre who eats up people who use Bro
midic expressions would git me.
One day last week Bettina came for
me. and said excitedly that there was a
sale Of shoes going on, and would / SO
with her 10 buy some.
/ said t.sat / would, and we set of
together, Bettina informing me as We
went along that she had hve pairs. tut
could not live another moment without
a sixth.
When we reached the shop she sank
upon an easy chair and extended the
pride anc JOY OF her life to be fitted
"Bettina," I said, do you remember
how in the country town from which we
both came ali the shoeshops had a ion6
bench placed mOdestly in a corner. where
its occupants could not be seen, and
w1ere the patrons might sit and try on
their own shoes? Do you remember.
how as children, when we were allowed
to shop without our mothers, we always
bought a pair OF shoes two sizes too
small for Us, while the merchant looked
on benevOleAtly. but really unInterested
IN anything except making the sale?
Many "reminiscences.
why. If one asked for a shoe horn in
those days he was regarded as putting
on airs. and many e pet finger nail have
I broken pulling or shoes too small.
There were no nice girl clerks in the
stores then TO advise one and TO warn.
And there was NO patient some ons 10
sit on LITTLE stool in front Of one and
button refractory buttons"
Hush said Bettiaa imperatively. u
don't Ike to think OF it. Why, one
couldn't get a high heel IN that town
for love or money. and as 20 buckles!
Everyone would have thought We were
going on the stage f we had asked toE
them
we always had 20 take D last. for
there was nothing smaller" I mur.
INJURED.
Fancy" cried Bettina, and turned
her attention 10 the clerk who was com
ing back with her hands laden with
models of footwear.
Here is pretty shoe, said the sales
woman. exhibiting frivolous bit Of
footwear that was. 20 use an 'orrid BIZ
of slang. just Bettina's S size.
'Perfect!' cried Bettiua, jigEing heF
foot ia her impauence,
The salesWoman fitted the shoe and
The Washington times., 1908-08-22
Sachet Parties Popular PaSfn1e
With Girls at the Summer Resorts

tiny white blossoms grouped together
in a long spike.
The leaves as well as the blossoms
are scented
The clover should be dried by spread
ing out over newspapers in the sun.
Several days are required until the
leaves viii break TO powder.
When this white clover is made into
sachets. it does not need filing. II is
just crushed up in the hands and drop
ped into silk bags.
A dozen of these could be made Of
muslin and put into the linen closets at
home They will keep every piece OF
linen sweetly scented for the winter.
Balsam branches are also used for
sachets. These are kept in the sun for
a long time until they are dry enough 10
break of from the stems
They are also used for filling pillow
cases. and many women put layers OF
them inside the ticking OF the regular
pillow in order to have the bed pine
scented all the time. This Odor is said
to induce slumber.
The Washington times., 1908-08-22

Autumn Styles Include
Smart Patterns of Checks
and Stripes

The fresh little models just turned out
for autumn school frocks for young
girls show that the jumper model has
by no M ans seen the end of its popu-
larity.
They are made of block checks or
stripes in blue and white. in green and
buff in brown and yellow. Cotton voile
lined with china silk is used for many
of the older girls, between twelve and
fifteen years old, and for the young ones
the fabrics are of thin cashmere. wool
en- vOile, lansdowne. and albatrOss.
Pleated skirts are still in favcr for
these youngsters. The pIeats are near
together and stitched over the hips TO
give some semblance of lines and At,
for even the growing girls of today
are not allowed to look .'bunchy" at
the waist line.
The only trimming on the skirt is a
fold tbout three inches OF the material
piped with a plain color In woolen or
pongee. The latter is a popular fabric
for trimming simple frOeks-
The jumper has butterfly sleeves, cut
in with the bodice. and is bound with
one inch of the pOngee stitched only at
the edge.
Satin and silk ribbon can also be
used as a binding. These jumpers are
rather slim in fit. There is little extra
fulIness. They are not cut low at the
neck, as this is not a good line for
child or woman this season.
In center of front and back there are
ten rather vide tucks running for about
four inches. The fastening down the
back IS Of colored wood buttons. which
have taken such a hold upon the public.
Girls under sixteen should not have
coat suits, but they should wear blouse
frocks under top coats, and this makes
the Jumper fTock "A daily need
The coats this season are rather slim
IN their lines as well as the frOcks.
but the modern young girl with her
straight little back and square shoui-
ders carries them of very wen. They
are made of Scotch tweed, which IS
rather new for youngsters. The stripes
and blocks are in all the soft neutral
cOloTs only worn by the grown-ups.
The Washington times., 1908-08-22

These are the days when the girls
who are in the country and in the
mountains are making up parties to get
ingredients for sachets.
The fields are full OF flowers and
leaves that make pungent and aromatic
Innings for the bureau drawers. the
closets, and the trunks.
To gather them cost nothing, and to
make them up costs little. Scraps OF
silk and brOCade from tie WOrkbag
make the prettiest, and If one has am5i-
ton TO perfume every drawer in the
bureau. cotton batting and cheap silk
aline will make layers 10 go the full
length over or under the contents Of
the drawer.
White clover can usually be gotten In
large quantities. II shrivels when It is
dry, and therefore, three times the
amount one needs TO MI a sachet should
be picked.
It grows or tall thick stems, and the
flowers are at the very top. The are
The Washington times., 1908-08-22
ABOUT BREAD DUST.

Two or three times a week spread
the accumulated scraps upon a tin
plate or in baking pan, and set IN a
moderate oven until perfectly dry Soft
or 'soggy' bits are good for nothing
and interfere with the work II. by
chance or intention, the bread is slightly
Drowned, keep it apart from that which
remains white. A glass jar for each
kind is q good idea. While the dried
bits are still warm. lay upon a kneading
board and crush to powder with the
rolling pin. Do this thoroughly for the
dust" leaving no gritty particles
Keep in a closed jar in dry place. 1t
is invaluable for breading croduettes,
fried FISH, chops, etc. Roll the article
TO he Dreaded, first in beaten egg, then
in the bread dust to which have been
added a little salt and pepper.
The Washington times., 1908-08-22
SASHES FOR YOUNG Girls.

The growing girl who adores yards
of coIo-ed ribbon wound arOUnd her
waist is having her innings this sum
mer, for It is the fashion to wear
sashes.
The oId-fashioned kind won't so that
spreads out around the waist six inches
deep and is tied into wide set bow at
the back.
The new kinds are made Of liberty
satin ribbon, quite soft, and in all the
wonderful shades that have been copied
or created for this summer.
They are twisted at the back into two
loops with lOng-pOinted ends or finished
at the left side with rOsette and two
ends. Girls from ten to eighteen years
old wear these.
Little girls of ten and twelve years
old have q pretty trick this season of
loosely twisting two-inch ribbon until II
looks like a stick Of peppermint candy,
then putting il around the waist and
finishing at back with loose knot and
several short ends.