The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-14
less than a month"

leSS LQan month.
Mr.. Bowser moved a bureau. Mrs
Bowser expected him to jump at 1t and
jam and ram and push and batter and
have it on its back within a minute
but he guided 1t along as tenderly as II
1t had been a walking baby. Tears Of
gratitude were about to spring to hel
eyes when there was another caller. He
had invented an air compressor that
must revolutionize the mechanics Of the
world. It was just the size of pound
box of peanut brittle, and yet 1t would
propel an ocean steamship at the rate
moro engineers and fremen and stok-
ers. Set the compressor going on leav-
ing New York and stop 1t at Liverpool
OF London. Required no more attention
than an old maid Couldn't possibly get
out Of order, and could be made for
81 apiece and sell for one hundred thou
sand
"Sorry-very sorry," replied Mr.. Bow
ser. as soon as he could cut In. II be-
neve the druggist on the corner IL In
terested In such things. but I am not. .
"Whatl You don't want to make tens
Of millions Of dollars?"
mot today, thankee."
But I haven't got into the wrong
house?"
''Oh. no. I am Mr. Bowser."
"And you buy Leghorn chickens, Dew
onshire pigs and all sorts OF fire es-
cape6 ana patent snow fenOVeTb, anu
yet you won't go into this?"
Please shut the gate as you 30 out"
The man pleased. He shut the Gats
with bang, and half way to the corner
he stopped pedestrian to says
IT shouldn't care to come along here
in the night. Til bet that half the hold
ups around here are the work OF that
old Bowser!"
Mrs. Bowser wanted to say something.
She wanted to cry. She wanted to put
her arms around Mr.. Bowser's neck
and tell him what q good man he was,
She had to put it or He didn't walk
up to those bedsteads and yank the
mattresses off and give the springs
fling. He denuded ana disrobed them
with gentleness. He didn't seize a bed
stead by one post ana yank and heave
on the floor in a brass and iron ruin
Gently, tenderly, quietly, he took out
the side-pieoes in the regular way ana
carried the head and foot-pieces to the
new spot and set them up again. Not
q mar nor a scratch. Not whoop nor
a cuss word. AS the show bills have
IL. there was nothing throughout the
whole performance to onend the most
fastidious He had Just finished when
another caller arrived ana ne hao 70
go down stairs. It was a man with
patent device to prevent railroad acc1-
dents. That Is, it was destined to pre-
vent conductors and engineers from
oyerruntng their time and bringing
about head and rear-end collisions. It
was a No. IL cowhide boot fastened on
TO a lever to be worked by steam from
the engine. Every two minutes 1t gave
conductor and engineer kick and call
ID their direct attention to card on
which was inscribed: Look out for the
dogi"
The Railroad Kicker" as the inven-
fha RTelteSt
thing ever invented. Railroads all over
tha country were crying for it. The
nublic were demanding its use. It could
ave 10000 human lives and so million
dollars worth of property year. It
would render travel on the railroads az
safe as on the sidewalks. It would
R1,t Mr.. Bowser stopped him there by
saving that he wasn't investing, and
by advising him to go to the coal man
down the street. Five more men called
during the day, and seven during the
evening. The last to call was ward
heeier. and he rendered Mr.. Bowser the
Termination for the presidency IN ex-
ehanre for q f1ve dollar bill ana the
q npointment of minister to St. James
IIa followed the others out doors and
~ the street and into the land OF
biiehted hopes. and then Mrs. Bowser
broke down and wept in her gratitude
ana anxiety and the house was closed
for the night-Copyrighted 1908. by L.
C. McClure.)