davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Fasting a. i. Sacrifice.

The origin of the religious practice
of fasting is very obscure. Herbert
Spencer collected considerable body
Of evidence to show that fasting may
have arisen out Of the custom among
savage peoples of providing refresh
ments for the dead. These offerings
are often made In so lavish manner
as necessarily to Involve the survivors
In temporary starvation, and 1t is no
uncommon thing for a man to ruin
himself by funeral feast 1t is sug-
gested that the fasting which was at
first the inevitable result Of such sacri-
fee on behalf Of the dead may eventu-
ally have come to be regarded as an
Indispensable part of all sacrifice and
so have survived as an established
usage long after the original cause had
ceased to operate.-New York Ameri-
can.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
CIRCUS RIDERS.
They Were Kings Of the Show In the
Old One Ring Days.

They Were Kings Of the Show In the
Old One Ring Days.
Riders at one time were the chief at
traction of the circus and were billed
as we now bill our death defying
deeds" In the old one ring days the
whole performance was practically di-
vided between the rider and the clown.
When the rider was not riding the
clown had the ring all to himself, even
the band ceasing to play until the
clown sang or got off his jokes, after
which the rider resumed the perform
ance. All riders in those days were
champions in the show printing writes
Tody Hamilton in the Washington
Star.
When the late James A. Bailey made
his tour of Australia he had Jim Robin
son, the great rider, at $500 week,
payable in gold The Snowman became
sick Of his bargain and tried to scare
Robinson out of it by dwelling on the
unhealthfulness of the climate He
told Robinson that 1t was very risky;
that few people could stand it. But
Robinson was wise and wouldn't scare
and insisted on the terms Of the con
tract.
it used to make Bailey turn cold to
approach Robinson on the long voy-
age every week and hand the champion
$500 in gold coin the same as II the
Rider were at work, but Jim held Bailey
to his contract No rider before or
since has ever received such salary
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Got Even With Dickens.

When Charles Dickens was in Wash
ington he met one morning on the
steps of the capitol young congress-
man from Tennessee whom the great
novelist had offended by his bluntness.
That morning Dickens was in great
good humor. II have" said he, found
an almost exact counterpart of Little
Nell"
Little Nell who?" queried the Ten
nesseean.
Dickens looked him all over from
head to foot and from foot to head be-
fore he answered, MY Little Nell"
"Oh," said the Tennesseean, II didn't
know you had your daughter with
your
II am speaking of the Little Nell of
my story, The Old Curiosity Shop
sir" retorted Dickens, flushing.
"Oh," said the imperturbable Ten
nesseean, you write novels, do you?
Don't you consider that rather tri-
fling occupation for grownup MANI"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
DANES AND DAUGHTERS.

Mrs. Sarah Rowe Hodgkins will soon
be a hundred years old. and she has
lived al that time in Bath. Me-
Mrs. W. S. Peabody of Colorado is
called the mother of Mesa Verde ma
tional park because of the interest she
has taken in the preservation of the
relics Of the mysterious cliff jewellers
of Colorado.
Miss Susie Stonesifer of Hanover.
Pa. has just finished patchwork
quilt after fifty years of sewing. The
quilt is a nine square design, by !.
feet in size. and contains patches Of
fabrics made scores of years ago.
The most famous cat fancier in the
east is Miss Pollard of Elizabeth, N. j..
whose white Persian Purity is valued
at $1,000. 1t has won innumerable
prizes and cups, being beaten but twice.
once in England and once in this coun-
try by its own daughter Puritana.
Miss Christabel Pankhurst, the Eng
lish suffragette leader. has visited u
famous London waxwork exhibition
and sat for portrait model which will
form part Of woman's suffrage
group shortly to be placed on view.
Mrs. Pethick Lawrence and Mrs. Pank-
hurst have also agreed to sit for their
models
Miss Helen e. Haines of Brooklyn
has received notice that she is to get q
pension of 500 month from Andrew
Carnegie in recognition Of her services
as managing editor Of the Liberty
Journal Of New York. She has been
editor of the magazine for fifteen years,
but has been forced to resign on &C.
count Of poor health
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
College and School.

Harrow. one Of the four greatest pub
lie schools of England, was founded in
1871.
The operating expenses of Columbia
university for the present year are
$1,552. 563.
DR.. Robert c. Brooks. Joseph Whar-
ton professor of economics at Swarth
more college. has resigned to accept
the chair of political science at the
University of Cincinnati.
Professor John II. Niemeyer. Street
professor Of drawing in the Yale Art
school. will retire on a pension at the
end Of the present college year as pro
fessor emeritus. The only other pro
fessor at Yale to retire as emeritus at
the end of this year is Professor Tracy
Peck of the Latin department.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
FIXED THE PIANO.
A Unmusical Variation In One Of
Gottschalts's Concerts.

An Unmusical Variation In One Of
Gottschalk's Concerts.
Gottschalk the pianist, was noted
for his enormous physical strength al
most as much as for his brilliance as a
pianist On one occasion he gave a
practical Illustration of his strength
which, while it did not display his dis
position in the most amiable light, I'M
uon.
BE was in concert playing on piano
that was built on a new model, one of
the peculiarities of which was that the
lip of the keyboard cover projected far
ther over the keys than In most pianos
when the instrument was open for
playing. Gottschalk, who was accus-
toned to throw up his hand to con-
siderable height during the perform
ance of brilliant passages and was I'M
used to this new form of keyboard,
constantly hit his knuckles against the
projecting lip.
This repeated rapping of his knuckles
at last began to have an irritating eff
feet on him, as the audience could
plainly see. Suddenly after a partic-
ularly hard rap he stopped short in the
middle of his selection, wrenched the
offending cover out of the instrument
by main force and hurled it across the
platform with great violence. Then,
with emilio Of h0 f;cfo
ton, he reseated himself at the piano
and continued his playing. = Chicago
Record Herald.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Protecting Her Cake.

The woman who had charge of a GER
tain village postotice was strongly sus-
pected of tampering with parcels in
trusted to her care. One day rosy
checked youngster, dressed in his best
clothes, entered the postofice and care
fully laid huge slice of iced cake on
the counter.
with my sister the brides compli-
ments, and will you please eat as much
as you can?" he said.
The postmistress smiled delightedly.
How very kind of the bride to re-
member met" she cried. Did she
know Of my weakness for wedding
cake?"
"she did, answered the youngster
coldly, land she thought she'd send yer
a bit of it this afternoon, just to take
the edge off yer appetite before she
posted any boxes of to her friendsv-
Exchange.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Chinese Laundry Tickets.

1t is not generally known that the
Chinese laundry system of ticketing
bundle of soiled clothes is based on
the many gods and goddesses of the
laundry.
The Chinese laundryman at the be-
ginning of each week makes out a
batch Of checks in duplicate, to be
used as wash tickets. He selects the
name of some god or goddess or of
some object, as the sun, the moon or
stars. To this name he prefxes a
number, as Moon No. L." Moon No
2" and so on. In the space between
the two legends-for the signs are re-
peated-he has his own name, as, for
instance, Wong Lee.-Harper's Week
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Evidence Against Him,

II am proud to say" said the man
with the loud voice, that have never
made a serious mistake in my life"
"But you are mistaken" said the
mild hammered man with the scholarly
stoop. you have made one very seri-
GUS mistake"
I'D like to know where you get your
authority for saying So"
'..Your declaration is evidence that
you have never tried to see yourself as
others see you."-Exchange.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Tenure of Office Act.

The tenure of Office act. passed by
congress in February, 1867, during its
bitter fight with President Andrew
johnson, was bill limiting the pow
ers of the president in removals from
Office. Among other things it took
from the president the power to re-
move members of his cabinet except
by permission of the senate, declaring
that they should hold Office "for and
during the term of the president by
whom they may have been appointed
and for one month thereafter, subject
to removal by and with the consent of
the senate" The president vetoed the
BILL but it was passed over his Veto
New York American.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Where Petitioners poe.nt Paw.

"French and German hats" said a
halter. "only last half as long as ours.
1t isn't the poor quality of the hats,
but the fine quality Of the manners,
that causes this. Lifting the hat in sal
utation is the hardest work that falls
on the headpiece, and the French and
Germans lift it to men and women
equally. thus giving it twice as much
labor as we do. Naturally, then, 1t
wears out twice as quickly. 1t goes in
the brim in no time over the water."-
Cincinnati ENQUIRER
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
The Art Of War.

1t costs over $1,000 to fire a single
shot from one of the largest guns used
in the French army.
The German army of 1908 consists
of sol $50 soldiers. S5,1GG noncommis-
stoned officers and 25,465 officers.
A squadron consists in the British
army of two troops Of men of from
sixty to a hundred each and in the
navy Of a section of feet on special
duty under flag officer.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Law Points.

Compelling one to pay sum of mon.
ey which the assailant claims the 9th
er owes him. which claim is disputed by
the latter. is held in Fanin versus State
Uex. Grim. App.). 10 L. r. A. q. 81,
ia, to be robbery.
The right of the owner of q dog to
maintain an action against one who
wantonly and maliciously kills or in
lures it is sustained in Columbus Rail
road company versus Voolfolk (Ga.).
10 L. r. A. On. 81. 1896.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
The Artful PASSENGER,

Here, you," said the conductor an
grily, "you rang up a fare. Do that
again and I'll put you off,
The small man standing damned in
the middle OF the car promptly rang
up another fare. Thereupon the con-
ductor projected him through the
crowd and to the edge of the platform
Thanks" said the little man. ~
didn't see any other way to get out.
Here's your dime" Philadelphia
Ledger
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Animal Oddities.

A rat can go without water for
three or four days.
If beetle were one-third the size OF
a horse 1t could pull against twelve
horses.
The smallest known insect, a para
site of the lizard, is but one-ninetieth
of an inch in length.
The gray buzzard is believed to be
the heaviest bird that flies. the young
males weighing forty pounds when
food is plentiful.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
The Standard Size.

Here's another alleged humorous ar
ticle about coal by that new jokesmith
of ours" said the editors assistant.
''Shall use it?'
"What size is it?" asked the editor.
ooh, chestnut size, of course"-Phil-
adeiphia Press.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Proved Him an Imitation.

What is the matter with your frienG
the New Yorker?"
Just got bad case of Anglo
mania"
THAT is the cause of the monocle
and i'll fitting garments then"
Yes; be wants to be like the dear
Britisher."
Turns up his trousers when it rains
in London. suppose"
Sure. Everything like that"
''There is one thing l will defy him
to do
whats that?"
Laugh at an English joke"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Tho M.rvelou. Resistance Of Wat.

The Marvellous Resistance Of Water.
If 1t were possible to impart to a
sheet of water an inch in thickness
sufficient velocity, the most powerful
bomb shells would be Immediately
stopped in their flight when they came
Into contact with it. 1t would offer
the same resistance as the steel armor
OF the most modern battleship.-Strand
Magazine.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Making Sure.

II pay as co." declared the POM
pous citizen.
mot while I'm running these apart
ments," declared the janitor "You1l
pay as you move in."-Louisville Cou-
rier-Journal.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Real Dialect.

At a traction line ticket Office in
Dayton, o., the other day overheard
the following conversation, the parties
thereto being German woman and
the ticket agent:
"a dicket tsoo Zinzin-nay-tee."
Zone way?"
'.Zwei ways"
Then as he stamped the ticket the
purchaser asked:
ii haf dime to vaidt how much ?"-
Chicago News.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
The Laws DELAY.

Betty-That case hasn't come on yet.
Isn't the laws delay maddening? Cis-
sic mindedly)-Perfectly fright
full! I've been six months getting that
young barrister to propose.-London
Opinion.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Wisdom of the Seer.

Young Lady-Will the young man
am engaged to make good husband?
Fortune Teller-lt's up to you to make
a good husband of him. All bad hus-
bands are self made.-New York
World.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
A Quick Switch.

Jack (studying geography)-Fa Father,
what is strait? Father (reading the
paper)-Five cards of a-that is, mar
row strip of water connecting. two
larger bodies. -Harper's Weekly.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20

Nothing is SO oppressive as symme-
try because symmetry is boredom, and
boredom is the basis of melancholy
and yawning despair Victor Hugo.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
When Women Claim Aoe.

At two periods in life femininity de-
clares itself to be older than it really
is, before it has reached eighteen and
after 1t has reached eighty-fve.-
Health.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
CHS Einieh.

When the sunshine warns the waters.
as the sunshine only can
All the dimpling. smiling daughters
Take speckled coat of tan.
Turn they then face that's glowing
To the loving gaze of man.
When they get him swiftly going,
Then his coat they nicely tan.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
hi.Loss Our Gain.

Poet-I had poem here, but while
/ was waiting for you carelessly
upset some ink over it, and fear that
/ cannot remember it to rewrite it.
Editor-That's good.-New York Press.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
MEMORIAL DAY AT DOW CITY
Exercises for Sunday, May "a, at NJ. E.
Church.

Church.
Song-Choir.
Prayer-Rev. Jacob Bremser.
Scripture Lesson-Rev. C. A. But
terworth.
Song-Choir.
Selmon-Rev. A. L. Curtis.
Benediction-Rev. C. A. Butter
worth.
All old soldiers will meet at Cohens
hall and march to the Methodist
church at the ringing of the last bell,
at 10:45. A. M.
SATURDAY, MAY 80
The procession will form on Pearl
St. at $3.50 A. NJ. and proceed to the
cemetery in the following order:
E. N. Chamberlain-Mars
Sons of Veterans.
Odd Fellows.
Flower Girls.
M. W. A.
Budd Smith Post in carriages.
The services at the cemetery will
be as laid down in the G. A. R. rit-
ual.
The procession will return to the
city in the same order ss going out.
Services will be continued at the
Methodist church at 2 80 P. M.
Song-Third Grade Boys.
Prayer-Rev. A. L. Curtis.
Observation-Disclosures Day. Maude
Brake.
Scripture Lesson-Rev. C. E. But
terworth.
Address, Rev. C. A. Butterworth.
Recitation-The Nations Dead-Vin-
ME Rudd.
Duet-Genevieve Dow. Maude
Brake.
Benediction-Rev. Jacob Bremser.
When your food seems to nauseate
take Kodol. Take Kodol now and
until you know you are right again.
There isn't any doubt about what it
will do and you will find the truth of
this statement verified after you have
used kodol for few weeks. 1t is
sold by Lamborn Drug Co.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Makes 1t Permanent.

"Does your husband sleep soundly?"
docs he? Well. doubt If he would
wake up if a train ran over him"
"They generally don't"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Two MAYS out.

what would you do" asked the ex.
cited politician, "if paper should call
you a liar and thiefY'
"Well," said the lawyer, Elf l were
you I'd toss up to see whether I'd re-
form or thrash the editor. Pick Me
Up
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Playing safe.
ike to h1. a Sa;lnr

f.ayihI Safe.
I'd like to be sailor
On bristliag batt!eslip
And roGn,. bota blooming hemisphere
Go on that bully trip.
And be a mate before the mast
Or something Gui.e as graad
II could just accomplish! this
And Still remain on land.
I'd like to be a jolly tar.
BY all the maidens fair
Admired and made Their lion or
Perhaps their Teddy bear,
Who as from distant ports came
Would meet me at the strand,
If l could do these joyous things
And stay on solid land.
Above all things. Id like to be
The man behind the sun
To shoot holes in the enemy
For business or for fun.
To handle powder. shot and sheN
And treat it as joke
II could just avoid the noise,
The danger and the smoke
I~might enlist and brave the seas
Far from my native shore.
Shoot too. If they would guarantee
We would not have war.
Still l have heard the food is plain.
The fellow sailors rough.
! think In buy a uniform
And simply be a bluff.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Sound Desperate.

Mild hammered men like pirates talk
When raw decisions make them squirmr
They holler, kill the umpire!" though
In truth they wouldn't hurt a worm
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20

Sometimes nan is called lazy when
he has figured ul the whale business
and decided that nothing is worth
while.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
The world would be the better and.
the mer:ier if some people would stop:
before they begin.

Be not forgetfuT to entertain stran-
gers. for thereby some have made q.
great hit.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Wanted . cinch.

Il presume before proposing to her
the count consulted her father. us is,
customary in European countries"
NO, but he talked with her broker"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Humor ano Philosophy
BY DUNCAN N. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.
A stitch at o often saves time.

A stitch at often saves time.
All fools are not necessarily angry
but all angry people are fools.
There is just one thing the matter
with a lie, and that is that it isn't and
can never hope to he the truth.
Some people see their duty and
hoarsely mutter. "Skiddoo, twenty
three for your
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Making Amends.
A kiss should never be purloined.
No gentleman should steal n smack.
But II he does and she objects
He should politely put 1t back.
His View.

England" said the student. was
once a part of the mainland"
you mean" said the modest Brit
Usher. gently correcting him. that the
mainland was once part of England"
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
NOTHING DOING.

"Do you find in your case that sleep
will knit up the rayeled sleeve OF
carer
A4IEx.iA9 MAD
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20

Youth is the opportunity to do some
thing and become somebody.-Munger
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20

A woman never has the last word.
for with a woman there isn't any.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
BUT If NE is

When man gets the better of you
in an argument Ike generous and show
him that it is ilnpolite to argue.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20
Kodol Fer E.'!.l lnd dig .,stiss,

alpitation of the heart. Digests what you eat.
The Denison review. [volume] (Denison, Iowa) 1867-current, 1908-05-20

"Knit7 Nit''
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-02-19
Navy Constructor Capps
Defends Ships Designers

Chief Constructor Capps, OF the Navy
Department, personally conveyed 10 the
Naval Affairs Committee OF the House
today his detailed report on naval CON
structIon, which was prepared b. direc-
ton OF Secretary Metcalf
The report, which was submitted to
Secretary Metcalf Monday was ap-
proved by him late yesterday. and the
chief constructor was instructed 10
transmit the document 10 the Naval AZ
fairs Committee of each house. Each
committee viii be requested 10 have the
report published as g. public document
in order that il may be available To all
who are interested in the reply 10 the
criticisms IF Reuterdahl ana the Navy
Magazine.
The report is longer than that Of Rear
Admiral Converse which was made pub
lie Monday, covering over 100 typeWrit-
ten pages. Secretary MeJcaIf Is greatly
impressed with the value OF the tech
nical information given in detail IN the
report, and viii have q. copy Of 1t placed
in the hands of every naval officer. a IS q
matter OF Information.
The Washington times. [volume] (Washington [D.C.]) 1902-1939, 1908-02-19
.HONESICK MUSICIAN
DIES AS RELEA SED
Discharge From Cavalry
Received Day Before
Fever Kills Man.

Grim trsgsdy has eliminated the re-
nance Of Musician Harry Nelson. Of the
Eleventh Cavalry, and his wife and
baby at Fort Dodge, Iowa The two lat
ter now are IN sorrow on the eve Of
what promised 20 be one Of the happiest
days Of their lives
Nelson, a strildngly handsome fellow
of twenty-five years, succumbed 10 the
deadly yellow fever in the sun-scorcEed
regions OF Cuba after Senator Dolliver
had interceded with Secretary Taft for
the discharge of the musician in order
that he might return To Iowa and SUD
port his wife and baby. Secretary
Taft's heart was touched by the story
told by Senator Deliver. and although
the War Department Eae refused TO
grant Nelson a discharge, he was or
dcred released from the oath By the
head Of the army
The order for the discharge came too
late however as Nelson. weak from
fever ard heart sick at the separation
from his family, died the day after it
was received in Cuba.