Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-07-31
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Held go to the end of the world
for you. She-You won't have to 20
that far, I'm here.-The Sphinx.
Bridget, wasn't that policeman mass
Ing love TO yen In the kitchen, lass
nighta' He thot he was. mum. ~
Life
Passenger How do you feel, my
teood man, when the giant waves comes
fumbling over the ship? Old Salt
Wet, ma'am-w VERY wet
Pa--Sometlmes / get discouraged
about Willie. Ma--What's the matter
now2 Pa-Here he is, IL years old.
and he can't throw Gn outcurye yet
Newark Jews.
Have you ever been cross-examined
beforeT' inquired barrister of wit
ness who was occupying his attention.
Have | exclaimed the man. Didn't
Just tell you l am marriedr"
Bacon-There's one thing can't
understand. Egbert-Tell IL to me.
Bacon When couple get married it
is said they become one But. again.
they say it takes two to make quar-
rel
Teacher Ito new pupill whats
your name?" New Pupil: "T-t-tommy
T-t-tinker." Teacher-"And do YOU
stutter all the time, TommyY" New
Pupil-"N NINA am; o-only when
/ t-ttalk,n
Mrs Uptown trust that we shall
get along very nicely, Nora. am not
at all difficult to suit Nora (the new
maid No, ma'am; that's what
thought the blessed minute set eyes
ON the master.
"How do you account for Casey's
wonderful success as a policeman
The fact that he used to work In the
ditch" "How does that account for
it?' 1T made him proficient In the art
of throwing mud"
Mr.. BunsbyIf that young mans
coming here so sec you every day In the
week, you had better give him a hint
to come after supper. Miss Bunsby
j don't think ia necessary, pa. That's
what he comes after
An editor Is reported by Lippincott's
ne saying when asked on what he bas-
| ed his assertion that his small boy was
cut cut for an editor why, every
thing he gets his hands on he runs and
| throws into the waste basket"
Mr.. Batch have my doubts about
this idea TINT tho more you give away
the more you have Mr.. Phamleigh--
No question at all about It. gave
away my daughter two months ago,
ana now she's returned to me with her
husband.
FArmer-I'm a-goln' TO drive to town
some day next week, Marthy. His
Wife-~YOn can't Hiram. l wuz just
lookin' over the skedool of auto races
an there amt an open date for boss
driyin' on the roads for the next ten
days.-Puck
When little IIiss Helen learned that
| moving day was near she asked for a
trunk In which 10 pack her belongings.
but what have yon 70 pack?' asked
her aunt why" replied the child In
surprise, my Teddy bear and other
useful things"
A woman on the train asked the con-
ductor how long the ears stopped at
the station lie replied Madam, we
stop just four minutes, from two to
| two to two two" The woman turned
| d., IL -
If he thinks hos the whistle on the.
engine"
u didn't know your mother was
dangerously H." said the observant
neighbor why, she isn't replied the
dainty daughter. what made you
think thatp II saw you washing the
dishes this morning" And Is 1t any
wonder that they never speak as they
pass by2-Detroit Free Press.
The class was discussing animals
how they walked got up, etc. After
she explained tho cows method Of ris-
| Ing 10 her feet, the teacher asked
DO you know any other animal that
gets up like a cow7" Silence reigned
for moment, then one little girl tim
idly raised her hand 'What is itY'
asked the teacher, "A calf" was the
whispered reply.
In Glasgow car was an aged Irish
man who held pipe In his mouth.
The conductor told BIN he could not
smoke, but he paid no heed Presently
the guard came into the car. and said
with show Of Irritation, Didn't
tell yon you could not smoke in this
carp "WelI, OPm not smoking"
You've got pipe In your mouth"
$50 Oh have me feet In me boots" re-
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