The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-22
.DRIFTWOOD. DY PHIL N. ARMSTRONG.

q. sie. ss u Tor n'''' ''-As . Wris Of course married life may prove 'one grand sweet sons" If the wife is shrevd enough to put on the soft pedal at the right time;
 bad coin thar. it Is for aN woman tc bass good bargain sale.
 Jsck-Does he make money fast? away from him!
 Somebody is always telling us that we're married. -s
 What has become ofrthe old fash ion you some of the cake she baked herself when you were invited over to Sunday dinner?
 ways looks mad when she chews gum?
 But then remember Atlas didn't have sRouiders.eit was was merely the S earth.
 Why the Legislature of Oklahoma does not put on circus and derive a current mystery.-st. Louis Times. Strikes us the oklohoma Legislature IS a circus.
 Also t would appear that the Gould family is trying to corner the divorce ihathee iy
 was about the last one to seriously consider his own availability as a can- didate
 We don't csre for an all round man unless he is on the square.
 It is said that the landlord of Iit- hotel over in the wilds of the Chocta,N country has been caught picking up tcothpicks after they had been used by his guests, replacing them in the hold again. If he Is as economical along other lines that hoteikeeper will get rich yet.
 unseen. but the majority of 'em manage $1 per. e1.,a
 +
 Most any school girl would go hungry to have her fortune told.
 The fact has been fully demonstrated recently that woman reared in town will never make good farmers wife simply for the reason that she. can new CT learn to get down out of a wagon gracefully. observes rural Kansas
 Wed advise all the Montgomery girls desiring to become farmers wives to to as practice getting n and and out of The exercise at any rate will prove beneficial beyond the. shadow of doubt.
 Keeping one's own counsel is always calculated to leave a good impression among the demonstratfve. Anyhow 1t Is tact.
 Life's a stage and there are more overdone parts than under done. every body trying to occupy the spotlight at once.
 A man may acquire reputation for having an iron. will before marriage but afterward in most cases 1t be- : when 1t. comes to the tafry proposi- tion we are all merely babies holding cut our hands to get all sticky.
 A Kansas City man. dropped dead the other day just as he was preparing wives. when you ask your poor tired haircut. @
 ''Is.. there any pleasure in a head ache" enauires The Los Angeles Elk press
 only in the cause-net in the erect. [.
 An Illinois man rolled barrel of water two and one half miles over rough road in an hour and forty five minutes and won barrel of whiskey on a wager.
 If we had been that fellow we'd have demanded that the barrel we rolled contained the whiskey and had a. convenient 5unghole and movable stopper.
 A Pennsylvania man has cqmpleted pieces. If some Montgomery married men we know could be induce3 to fol- low his example perhaps 1t would keep 'em home nights.
 Talk is cheap unless you employ lawyer.
 Hold a stick of candy and a silver dollar before gaI-baby and she'll reach for the dollar every time. Try 1t
 Why does a married man look so foolish when he buys his first haty- carriage? He always lacks the delio- crate nonchalance apparent in the fem mine member of the matrimonial firm.
 The Practical Side Love they say
 Win find a way But 1t gives him oft a chill--
 Love cant essay To always ray
 The monthly grocery hil.
 Fitted to Go With the Fleet. He ought to join the navy
 It really seems to me. For he's real swell dancer
 And hit at each pink tea.