davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
"1o Eat Crow"

Although the use of the expression
ITO eat crow" in metaphorical sense,
meaning to eat ones words, may well
have dated from the time of Noah.
when the bird was first looked upon
as unclean and not fit to serve as food
for man, it seems to have arisen from
the old tale Of the officer and the pri-
vate.
A soldier, having shot a tame crow
belonging to one Of his officers, was
discovered by the owner with the bird
in his hand. Selling the private's gun,
the officer commanded him to eat the
bird as a punishment With the fire
arm pointed at his head, the soldier
fell to, but no sooner had the officer
laid aside the gun than the culprit
grasped it and compelled his superior
to join in the distasteful banquet
The private was court martialed the
next day, and when he was asked by
the examiners what had occurred he
replied, Nothing, except that Captain
Blank and dined together -Wash-
tngton Star.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Loading Freight by Cards.

II don't know whether the practice
Is still kept up In the far south, but I
remember how tickled I was at seeing
the method used in loading goods into
freight cars down in Mississippi some
while ago." said railroad man of st.
Louis.
"A lot Of strapping black fellows will
be on the job under the supervision of
a white man, who will be Issuing or
ders with great volubility. Put this
aboard the king Of diamonds; take this
to the ace Of hearts; load this on the
ten of spades; this to the jack Of clubs
and so on, and then you'll notice each
one Of the long line Of freight cars has
tackled on it some one Of the fifty-two
cards composing full deck The Sen
egambian loafers for the most part
were ignorant Of letters and figures,
but every man Of them knew the paste
board emblems which he had often
handled in games of seven up. That
next to craps is the chief diversion of
the colored sports of Dixie"- Balti-
more American.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Gave 1t Up.

A friend of the writer recently made
application for public appointment in
small Scottish town, and, thinking
that his chances of success would be
greater by little judicious canvass
ing. he resolved to call upon few Of
the town councillors. in whose hands
the appointment lay. or the civic dig
nitaries' position In private life he
knew nothing. Journeying to the town
in question, he hired Il cab at the rail-
way station and requested the jehu
to take him to Councillor Bisset's, the
treasurer. The councillor was found
IN his blacksmith's shop shoeing a
horse.
"1'll see somebody of more impor-
lance than this, anyhow" said the can
didate to himself, and, turning to the
driver, he said, "Drive me to Councillor
Maitland's Office"
The cabman thereupon drove him to
the local joiner's shop. This was
worse even than the smithy, and in
despair he calculated:
"Drive me to Councillor Gray's."
II am Councillor Gray, sir,' replied
the cabman.
The answer staggered the candidate.
He quietly paid his fare and disap-
peared, resolved to leave his fate in
their hands without prejudicing them
in any way in his favor. London
Standard.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
The Navel ORANGE.

For product of nature a California
navel orange as it graces the breakfast
table or the push cart is about the
most artificial thing in the world. 1t
is also a very striking illustration Of
the fact that while beauty may be
only skin deep it counts for a whole
lot. To begin with, the navel orange
Of California is an exotic, reaching fts
present habitat after devious wander
Ing. And, be it ever so sweet tasting,
If it's skin has had it's beauty marred It
scarcely ever gets farther than the
orchard where it grew. Not only that,
but even the most comedy ones before
they are boxed and shipped are brush
ed by machinery and polished and
otherwise fused with to give them a
beauty which mere nature never would
have provided.-William R. Stewart In
Technical World.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
A Scotch Excuse.

A canny Scot was brought before a
magistrate on the charge Of being
drunk and disorderly. "What have
you to say for yourself, STRIP demanded
the magistrate. "You look like re-
spectacle man and ought to be asham-
ed. to stand there"
II am vera sorry, sir, but I cam
up in bad company fra GLASGOW"
humbly replied the prisoner.
"What sort Of companyW
"a lot of teetotalersw was the star
Ting response.
"Do you mean to say teetotalers are
bad company? Numbered the magis-
trate. II think they are the best of
company for such as you"
''Beggin' yer pardon, SIR" answered
the prisoner, "ye're wrong; for had a
bottle of whusky an had to drink it
all myself!''-Reynolds' Newspaper.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Spoiled Their WaItxinn.

In her memoirs Nine. de BoiRne
gives some interesting glimpses Of
English social life. For instance, she
writes:
TN 1916 no young English lady ven
tured to waltz. The Duke Of Devon
shire returned from tour in Germany
and observed one evening at a large
ball that a woman was never seen to
better advantage than when waltzing.
l do not know whether he was anx-
ious to play trick, but he repeated
this assertion several times. 1t was
passed from mouth to mouth, and at
the next ball all the young ladies were
waltzing. The duke admired them
greatly, said that it was delightful and
gave proper animation to ball. He
then added carelessly that he, at any
rate, had decided never to marry a
lady who waltzed. 1t was to the
Duchess Of Richmond and at Carlton
House that he saw fit to make this
revelation. The poor duchess, the most
clumsy Of matchmaking mammas, near
ly fell off her chair with horror. She
repeated the statement to her neigh
bors, who passed 1t on, and consterna-
ton spread from seat to seat The
young ladies continued to waltz with
clear consciences. The old ladies were
furious, but the unfortunate dance was
concluded. Before the end of the even
ing the good Duchess Of Richmond
was able to announce that her daugh-
tiers felt an objection to Waiting
which no persuasion Of hers could ever
overcome. Some few girls Of more in
dependence continued to waltz, but the
majority gave it up"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
PUT OUT OF THE HALL.
Mayor Of Omaha Creates Scene at
Waterways Congress.

Sioux City, Ia, Jan. 2 Mayor
James G. Dahlman Of Omaha was led
from the hall by the sergeant-at-arms
of the waterways congress at it's final
session at the request of Governor
Burke of North Dakota, who was act
Ing chairman of the congress, The
mayor rose In his seat to talk on the
motion to adopt the report of the COM
mittee on organization. His attitude
was unsatisfactory to several dele
gates, who declared Mayor Dahlman
was out of order because he was try
Ing to inject politics into the congress-
There were several cries of put
him out" and Chairman Burke finally
called the sergeant-at-arms, who led
the mayor from the hall.
The mayors declaration that "You
will have to go down to Washington
and see Uncle Joe Cannon and Allison
about that report" started the trouble
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
DON'T EXPERIMENT.
You Will Make No Mistake if You
Follow This Bemidji Citizens
Advice.
Never neglect your kidneys.

Never neglect your kidneys.
T. II you have pain in the back,
urinary disorders, dizziness and
nervousness, it's time to act and
no time to experiment. These
are all symptoms OF kidney trouble
and you should seek a remedy
which is known to cure the kid
neys.
Doan's Kidney Pills is the rem
edy to use. No need to expert
ment. 1t has cured many stub
born cases in Bemidji. Follow
the advice Of a Bemidji citizen
and be cured yourself.
Mrs. C. E. Meyer, living at $40
Beltrami Ave. Bemidji!, MIMI,
says: 81 have suffered from kid
ney trouble for a number of years.
There was dull pain in the small
of my back the greater part of the
time and I often suffered from
pains in the loins which made me
very miserable. l have used a
great many remedies but did not
receive any relief until three years
ago when Doan's Kidney Pills
were brought to my attention,
procured a bUx at The Owl Drug
Store. In a short time felt bet
ter, but short time later had an
other attack. Doan's Kidney
Pills gave me just as satisfactory
results as in the first instance. It
gives me pleasure to recommend
them to others suffering from kid
ney trouble"
For sale by all dealers. Price
50 cents. Foster Milburn Co.,
Buffalo, N. Y, sole agents for the
United States.
Remember the name-Doan's-
and take no other,
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Cruel Spring.

The talk in the village hosiery had
been on the subject Of vegetable
freaks, but at length it veered round
to goats.
did ever you keep a goat Bill?'
inquired gray whiskered gentleman
in a corner seat.
did 1 everv' answered the little
man addressed with rustic familiarity.
Il bought one last Christmas what
nearly brought me to the work u.s..
Eat anything, from tins O. blackin' to
f1atirons, that goat would. Lucky
thing for me the spring killed IT.
II didn't know the seasons affected
goats" observed the gray whiskered
gentleman.
who's talkin' about seasons?" came
the reply. 1T was the spring Of our
alarm clock what e made a meal of
one day as done itv'-London Express
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
College Chums.

A rich and we'll known citizen of an
eastern city boasts Of an extraordinary
collection Of books wherein the au-
thors have inscribed their autographs.
It is rumored that the envy and fire.
quently the skepticism of his friends
have been aroused by the fattering in
scriptions in question, and some cynics
have even gone so far as to hint of a
similarity In handwriting throughout
the collection.
The citizen recently purchased a rare
edition Of Montaigne's essays. One
evening at dinner the costly volume
was passed from hand to hand, and
for time the owner lost sight Of it..
When, however, it did finally come
back to him he was astonished to find
on the fly leaf this inscription:
ITO John Blank, From His Old
Friend and Classmate, Mike Mon
taigne. "-Harper's Weekly.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Mixed LIQUORS Barred.

Rory MacSnory was the village
blacksmith and one of the most pow
erful singers in the choir Of the kirk
at Auchleucheries. To show off his
voice to full advantage he would vary
his style from bass to alto and from
alto to treble in the same hymn:
The minister had long observed that
Rory's methods were upsetting the gen.
eral melody Of the congregations sing
ing, and at length he resolved to bring
the culprit to book.
flynn 3d." he announced, "and a.
thegither. And, Mr.. MacSnory, if ye're
tae sing tenor, sing tenor, or if ye're
tae sing bass, sing bass, but We'll haze
nae mair O. yer shandygafr'-
Advertiser.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Ignorance Not Bliss,

There Is a certain gnawing uncef>
tainty about calling on people who
speak different language from their
servants" remarked the woman who
does. "You can never tell whether
they are saying, Make another cup of
tea, Katie; have company or She
always drops in about tea time, con-
found her! Pour some more hot water
In the pot New York Press
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
OFFICIAL
Office of City Clerk,

ouCe VI OlCy ClerK.
of a. 1sda proceedings Of City Council January
~ COUNCIL met at City Hall in regular meet
Called to order by Charm an Gould. 1
r, PRESENT at rol! call: Bowser, McCuaig.
smart Erickson, Washburn. Mayer. McTag-
Absent; Brinkman.
Minutes OF last meeting read and approved.
Inc following audited bills we're on motion
Sa.sl5; reserved on sewer contract:... S26O77
D9ran Bros. timers jobs about fire
udll II 20
M. d. Stoner. city engineer. recording
sewer records for 1907. ........ ... 600
Report Of water and light committee rec &C.
0mmend that water meters be installed as
hrst intended and that at the end of three or
six months when the readings of the meters
are taken. the council can then adjust the
meter rate SO that no hardship will fall on
cepted and fled.
F RESOLUTION.
On motion of Alderman W ashburn, seconded
by Alderm an Smart. the following resolution
vas intrOdnced: %. ~z..-
a steel bridge over the Mississippi river at a
point where the public highway crosses such
river between Lake Irving and Lake Bemidji
IN Section IS. Township 146. Range SO. Bel
tram! 20, Minnesota. at a cost to exceed one
eighth OF one per cent OF all the taxible prop
critics OF said city according to it's last equal
lied valuation and not to exceed $4,000. and
That one half OF the cost of the construction
OF said bridge be paid out Of the permanent
improvement fund Of said city and that
petition be made and fled with the board OF
MINES as provided by section of chap
ter 423 Laws OF Minnesota for the year 1907.
and be It further resolved that the matter, Of
to the legal voters of said city at the next
city election to be held in said city on Tues
day the 18th day Of February 1903. upon call
n " 10 ali
voted aye" Bowser. McCuaig. Smart. Erick-
son. Washburn. Mayer, McTaggart, Could
ma none Observation-Disclosures. Resolu-
Approved J. 2. PoGUE Mayor.
Attest THOMAS MALOy. City Clerk.
It was moved and seconded that 1000 cir
to Pc BY the Pity
one week before election. explanatory of the
bridge Mlya GonstIuct ion. Carried -
that the
mated and appointed as Polling Places and
Judges OF election in their respective wards
fo1oTs City election Feb 49, 1903 First
R.. Ryan at Midway Grocery.
Secand Ward Judges. H. W. Bailey, I. B.
Olson. d. G.. Smyth, at fire hall. q
Third Ward Judges, p. NJ. Dicaire. Fred
O'Leary. J; P. Omich. at Pcgue's warehouse.
~ Fourth Ward; Judges. Fred Dudley. 9: D.
n aste s. Datisy ct g NJ Bacons building
Moved and seconded the City Clerk pur-
chase eight n Quilts single mattresses. foot
Moved and seconded the matter of repair
OF City Dock be referred to City. Engineer to
report next meetins. Carried.
days Carried = seo''' poiioe'nan ~ =
W..A.G &C
THOMAS MALoY. n''''n.
City Clerk.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
The Reason,

All sorts and conditions of men have
excellent reasons for their position in
life. Illustrated Bits tells of a tramp
who had no illusions about the cause
Of his own condition.:
Mrs. Finehealth (at hotel entrance)-
No. I have no money to spare for
you. I do not see why an ablebodied
man like you should go about begging
Lazy Tramp-I s'pose, mum, it's fer
about the same reason that healthy
woman like you boards at a hotel, in
stead Of keeping house.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
READING q Pics Tail.

Reading Pigs Tail.
Don't buy that pig, said the older
butcher hastily.
"Why not?" asked the younger man.
Look at his TAIL" was the reply.
"See how loose it hangs, like the tail
of rat. That is a sign that the ami
NAL is in bad health.
'You can read a pigs condition by
its tail. The tighter it is curled the
filter Is the pig. And when the tail
hangs straight, as this one does, the
pig ought to take to his bed and send
for the veterinary" - New Orleans
Times Democrat.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
The Irish Priest,

Stephen ~Gwynn has said some
where excellently that the Irish priest
possesses the secret of Irish life. he
does, and so entirely is the key to 1t
In his possession that doubt If any
genius, however great could give an
adequate rendering Of Irish life with
out introducing the priest.-Katherine
lyman in Fortnightly Review.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
A Bad Cast.

Mr.. Lawhead-Why do you treat me
30 coldly? Why didn't you answer the
note I wrote you last Thursday Miss
Brushley-Sir, don't wish to have
anything more to say to you. You
began your note by saying you
thought you would drop me line"
I want you to understand that I'm moi
q fish
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Unknown Schooner Ashore,

Hull, Mass, Jan. PA vessel be-
leved to be three-masted schooner
was discovered ashore in Black Rock
channel on the Lowell island side.
The weather is quite thick and it is
not known how long the vessel has
been in her present position.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
He Could Not Will,

"Can you lend me a flyer, old fell
low?"
surely / CAM
"But will your -. ~
"Ah, my will power has utterly de-
serted me these daysv-Town Topics.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27

Got tho Cart Before Tho Horse.
your children? Agitated Mother-Yes,
Uncle John, that's our little Johnnie.
Kiss your uncle, dear, and then go
and wash your face.-Cleveland Plain
Dealer a..
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Generally the Case.

II wish you would mention this to
links. 1t is highly important"
"I'll mention it to him today" =.
But how do you know you will see
him today?"
"1'm bound to bump into him. l owe
him money."-St Paul Pioneer Press
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
No Mercv.

Mistress-Sarah Jane, what has hap
pened? Sarah Jane-Oh, mum, I've
fallen down the stairs and broken my
neck! Mistress (hrmly)-Well, what
ever you've broken will be deducted
from your wages.-Sydney On. S. W.
Bulletin. - -,
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
An Unmentioned Ancestor.

An Unmentioned Ancestor.
Mr.. B. is very proud of his ancient
lineage and never let's slip an opportu-
nifty to boast Of it. At dinner where
he had been unusually rampant on this
subject fellow guest quieted him by
remarking:
If you climb much farther up your
family tree you will come face to face
with the y."-Philadelp In
uuirer. o.. -'~.-s@s-.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Two Eniqmas,

"Why don't we see men like the nov
elists describe?' ..
II give it up. Why don't we see girls
like the Illustrators draw?"-Louisvill
Courier-Journal. SD
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Saw For Himself.

A man carrying looking glass said
to newsboy, "Come here and look
into this glass and you will see don
key"
"How did you find that out?" retort~
ed the boy.-London Express =,
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
ALittle Hint.

Mrs. Knicker-Henry, do you think
camel can pass through the eye Of
needle? Knicker-Dunno. Do you
think the eye of needle can pass
through button?
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
NJ otorinu.

motoring is the very poetry Of mo.
don."
Except when you have smashupr'
mo; even then-it's blank verse!"-
London Opinion. 49,:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27

beggar why she did not go and get
some Of the soup that was being freely
distributed.
"Soup, is it, your honor? Sure, it
isn't soup at alp "And what is it,
then?" inquired Stokes. 1T is nothin',
your honor, but a quart of water boiled
down to a pint to make it sthrong!"
This is the soup maigre which Ho.
garth caricatured in his picture of the
French troops at Calais. - London
Standard
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Strono Scum.

Strong Soup.
In the life of William Stokes, writ
ten by his son, it Is told how Stokes
was sent over to Dublin during the
great famine to show the people how
to make soup. Stokes asked a starving
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Externally.

Externally. -
The Doctor-You understand, don't
you, that this is only to. be used ex-
ternally? The Patients Wife Sure,
sir, allus makes him get out O. bed
to drink it!-London Scraps. -:
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27
Opposites Often Wed.

Opposites Often Wed. X
"Miss, you are holden. Nobody
will ever care to marry a boisterous
girl"
Don't worry, mother. I'll find some
nice, girlsterous boy."-Kansas City
Journal. 49, .~
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27

# thou addest little to little and
doest SO often soon It win become q
great heap-Hesiod. s,s5
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27

1t is better to hope and to work than
to grumble and quarrel and shirk:-
baltimore American. s5.,
lnqulsItlve.
'I'll send my boy to a boarding
school," Fl
what for r. ~ BID =. 49,
"Oh, he asks such questions. He
wanted to know last night II shoe.
maker could breathe his last"
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27

There is nothing so true that the
damps Of error have not warped IT,
Topper.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27

49, :PILEs CURED IN TO IA DAYS
PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any
case Of Itching. Blind, Bleeding or Protruding
Piles in to IA days or money refunded. Soc
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27

Men tire themselves in the pursuit
Of rest.-Sterne.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-01-27

Aspiration sees only one side Of ev-
cry question; possession many.-Low-
Los Angeles herald., 1908-11-15
SAYS WOMEN SHOULD HAVE
VOICE IN PUBLIC AFFAIRS

Los ANGELES, Nov. 13-tEditor
Herald: The city council will spend
several thousand dollars in supplying
educated animals to entertain the leis-
ure class who frequent Eastlake park:
and other powers that be will spend
more of the taxpayers money in breed
ing quails to be shot, crippled and tor
tured by this same leisure class; while
the children of workingwomen are de-
MED all education for lack of school
facilities.
If the best use the fathers can make
Of our taxes is to spend 1t on educated
monkeys and breeding birds for torture,
the mothers would better assert them
selves and demand that their own Off
spring is of more Importance than the
furnishing of amusement to that class
who by their wealth are relieved of the
necessity of having their children edu-
Gated in the public school.
At the late election the fathers de-
clared by an overwhelming majority
that they are satisfied with conditions
as they are; and the mothers, being
voteless, had not their opinions
counted
1t is time the taxpaying women of
Southern California assert themselves
in a concerted effort to secure legfsla-
tion which will give them power to say
how their taxes shall be spent.
Whether to make still more pleasant
the leisure of the wealthy, or in secur-
ing educational advantages for Cali,
fornia children.
ELIZABETH QUIGLEY.
Los Angeles herald., 1908-11-15

Of the United States. and prosperity
will Increase with an evep-inereasing
demand for goods made In Los Ange-
les. with a plentiful supply Of water,
and with san Pedro harbor. Los Ange-
les will soon be IN position to domi-
nate industrially the Pacific coast. This
Is the natural metropolis OF the far
west. The short route from the east
ern states to Oriental and Australian
ports is via Los Angeles and San Pedro
harbor.
The development OF the Pacific coast
has hardly been begun. The brightest
and best days IN the history OF the far
west are yet to come. That is why
all eitixens OF Southern California
should be optimistic.
California Is not has been" state,
and It Is not a state of has beens."
In many respects it is the most typ
icaily and thoroughly American state
in the Union. Citizens from all parts
OF the country come here. and unite
with the native sons in winning for
California foremost place among the
states OF the Union. The California
spirit Is one of mutual help. Neighbor-
illness promotes the best interests of p
community. Prosperity week will bring
prosperity year.