The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-05-28
DRIFTWOoD
BY PHIL .. AWMsTR0N0

slorious graduating sirlhood Is in our midst.
 that it makes children cry to look at him. A woman Is seldom as old as she looks to other women.
 Why is q woman's haudksrchisf 50 small And speaking et handkerehiefs what has your grandfather used to sporty
 girl calls sn2ytEinF hsaysnly that would Be 2 friend to others and you'n not lack
 So it's back to the asylum for F. T.
 This is positively my last appearaues''-
 Just think--up mid the polar seas
 The iceberg proudly rears
 The chins of Polar Bears.
 Col. stswsrts punishment seems pretty hard to bear in its loneliness. but some kind friend may have sent him a copy of Three Weeks"
 Do you recall your first baby-earriaEe? in New Jersey. And they'll get what they demand. too. when 1t comes to the rub"
 A vessel putting in st New York reports a water spout filled with flying porpoises. We'll. a slight deviation from the time worn sea-serpent stories at least posses the attraction of novelty
 How much does a Congressman earn7 asks a correspondent
 weii-er-he Eets s7.soo- world in losss @ one of it's brightest apostles of sunshine.
 result was real sensation
 In turning down the, Presidents urgent demand for four new battieships and say ing Sis. ooo, 900. then passing the Omnibus biii that will cost sso.ooo, 900 and few gress might enter the Buffalo News contest entitled ''The Biggest Fool Things Ever
 certain Montgomery youth the other night while calling upon certain young sorne remarks about her peek boo waist. whereupon her old dad overhearing 'em promptly Deek-a-booted him out of the house
 A Birmingham man Is suing the Pullman Company for carrying him beyond his deLti. nation, while on his honey moon. Must not have been his first plunge into matrimony, for he wouldn't have noticed little thing like that.
 New York milk maids have refused to don white duck overalle though ordered to do SO by the city Board of Health. However, had it been peek a-boo waists and M. W. Hat they wouldn't have said word
 We are no critic but we simply can't chiSaid.' she said. "i am at a loss for words!' The very idea of a. woman's ever being lat loss for words is preposter- ous!!l
 Have little ayoIG isry iG SeSst gcSr hS%s Fop r.. citing at commencement?
 Back There Where the water-lilies lean Where the fishes glide between Where the perfume laden breeses softly Where the siiver-uairrored pool Calls invitingly and cool. And the honey freighted hours go slowly by' Where the cat-bird sounds his call Sweet and plaintively ana ait ,,. .,,r,,hor,, Of the sounds In Nature pieho m symPhohS' An the Alabama hiis ,,, And the ripples and the rtiis Are calling always ealllng now 10 me Where cotton fields glsam white In the moonlight in the night -, -,. On the old front porch where morning glo- With her eyes of of .oss hssr:1's :DS tqSs SlSs Awaits my Southern sweetheart Maggie
 mine.
 Dear Driftwood: .,-. s,
 good joke is going the rounos on his hIG dsy H'ti' toll he made light steps homeward to greet his ''better-half. with loving in their room wooing like two turtle doves He surveyed the surronn,dlnEs ana an foqna b,s cfo,hHs ntied in A heap on the bed taken from his wardrobe. He says, Dear wife: what does this mean are you moving me pIrhaps cam show you better than I can tell you. I made a fine large purchase to- day She opened the wardrobe. and he fo,,nd to bts sma cement That a huge Mer- ry-Widow Hat had taken pos;s,essIi8SRS I8So of d 1t bisr1e tbA nress for commenting and criticis- ing so severely on this "monstrosity.' of a headgear that has become so Famous throughout the country.
 Yours truly, M uor,rou.r,,