Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-10-15

Aldilh ouOulu COlldl TIC
laurels in the handout roping contest. The pies,
which proved the articles of war and also the
prizes, were placed on a ledge on the outside of
a house loaned for the purpose.
Hank, instead of struggling with his fellows on
the outside, stole a p%itchfork, went inside the house
and speared the pies, one by one, from the second
story window. Then to rub in the defeat inflicted
upon the rest of the convention, he sat on the sill
of the open window and slowly munched the pastry
delicacies, to the discontinue of several hundred
upturned hungry faces.
Several weeks before the session was called to
order Slothful Sam appeared as an advance guard
of the army of the unwashed and prepared a set
of rules, which were turned over to the meeting,
but were turned down by unanimous vote, the
members fearing they might infiict punishment up
on themselves by voting for the proposed regula-
tons.
Following were Sans proposals:
That one months growth of beard be made the
maximum
That special refrigerator cars be provided for
tanks.
That questionable touring anecdotes be punished
according to the veracity of the tales.
That any member guilty of work be made to toll
and wash daily.
That hoboes found guilty of aiding in perpetual
ing the ancient tin can joke be stunned by their
fellows.
That members apprehended with soap upon their
persons be given capital punishment.
That rewards of merit be devised for those who
promised to work, secured a meal upon that basis,
and then deserted,
That a system of chaIK signals be arranged to
designate homes where the lady of the house is
generous.
That the war on savage dogs be carried on with
the determination of all CANNES in view.
That brakemen be made honorary members Of
the order.
That those brakemen who have distinguished
themselves in the aid of members be awarded re-
wards of merit.
That thorough tests, mental and physical, be pro-
vided for taking in new members.
That beer be made the official drink of the order.
That water be Stunned with customary regular
ity.
President Weary Willie pointed that these rules
showed the deep thought of Slothful Sam. The
president ruled that a man guilty of thinking should
i be watched, for he might work. So fearful lest there
should be a joker concealed somewhere within the
n resolutions, the convention turned them down fat
e Even wild desc things aside" soliloquized Weary
/ "ft needs woik ter keep dem resolushuns on de
/ members Minis an woik is de most hated NV dc
e orders enemies"
So that ended Slothful Sans great coup. He said
he thought he had a great idea, but he had moi
figured that in nursing his plans he had i~nfringed
e upon one of the most sacred traditions of his
s brothers.
e Before members were allowed to enter the felt
s in which the convention was held, a thorough in
Il spection was made of the mans credentials. Bon;
fde proof of membership was necessary. Traces O
d prosperity about the hobo's person ~relegated hin
to the position of a rank outsider. Special arrange
Y ments were made with railroad companies for tn,
transportation of such undesirables.
n The meetings, as a rule, were held In Riverviev
e park, Clifford, but occasionally committees me
wherever there was standing room. A grand parad