davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1908-10-08

the total amount expended by the govern
ment on al, the lakes since their ;mprove-
ment was begun
IL the tonnage Of all the greet lakes
were included in the computation the
argument would be correspondinpIv
strengthened; but there is an indirect
saving which results from a reduction in
the railroad rates between all points that
ar- served by water TRANSFORMATION and
those reductions in turn similarly arfecr
paraliei lines far to either side of the
water route, thus each waterway has its
zone OF influence upon freight rates.
NOR do the savings in freight charges.
direct anc indirect, measure the f,ll
benefit of the improved waterway to the
people But being itself open and free
1or the use of all alike, the danger Of
monopoly is much reduced and its carrv
ing capacity. unlike that of the railroa1
is unlimited.
we nave here, then every justification
Tor the improvement of our WATERWAYS nm
sensible and liberal basis Other conn.
tries not so favorably situated in the H.
catlcn and extent of their WATERWAYS ara
lar advanced in the solution of the-a
problems. Germany, France, Holland
anu Begun have developed at enormous
expense large systems of internal water
ways. And in Germany. at least great
Extensions are Yet contemplated The nro
uucers OF the United States have long
Ct maui 70 the seaboard than any other
country competing for foreign trade. We
must overcome the disadvantage of the
longer hanl by lesser freight roto for
W ~ ~
-, 'S''pie al the year round. Nor does
s"ch policy of waterways improvement
operate disadvantageously to the railroads
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
SIRES AND SONS.

Seth Low succeeds James r. Morse
IN the presidency of the American
Asiatic association, now eleven years
old
The Duke of Argyll has hurt the
feelings of the highlanders by saying
that no man over sixty should appear
in kits.
Representative Leslie Il. Morse of
Haverhill Is the owner of one of the
largest bulls in the world. Banjo
weighs more than 1000 pounds and
stands higher than the tallest horse.
Chester S. Lord has been managing
editor of the New York Sun for twen-
ty-eight years. He Joined the paper
in 1872 as reporter aud for seven
teen years was under Charles \. Dana
and enjoyed his confidence to the end.
Hon. w. S. Fielding. Canadian min
lister of finance. raises and spends
500, 100000 a year OH $1,000 salary.
Mr.. Fielding is the only prominent
member of the old cabinet that gath
cred about Sir Wilfrid Laurier in 1896,
having held his position twelve years.
Clerk James McKenny of the su-
preme court of the United States re-
Gently celebrated the fiftieth anniver-
sary of his entering the clerks office.
Mr.. AIcKenny entered the office in a
subordinate capacity, but he has held
the position Of clerk for twenty-eight
years.
The Jews of Austria are elated at
the appointment of coreligionist,
Major General Eduard Ritter Won
Schweitzer, to the rank of field mar
shall. This officer, who has seen over
forty years service was born Of poor
parents and entered the army as a
private.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
Short Stories.
private.

OF those who die only about II per
cent are insured.
The postal business of the world is
Increasing per cent per annum.
The first alarm of fire by an electric
telegraph system was given at $50
p. m. April %. 1852. in Boston.
The site of the Greenfield NIass)
First National bank was formerly pur-
chased for a lot of black tin teapots.
then very much in fashion.
The wages of the coolies who raise
tea in Ceylon vary from S.33 to 11.6G
cents a day. They are, however.
housed free and get rice mt cost price.
A statistician who has taken the
trouble to figure it out says that the
average married couple may figure on
about 4,194.COO descendants in 900
years.
No receptacle has ever been made
strong enough to resist the bursting
power of freezing water. Twenty
pound steel shells have been rent asun'
der as though made of pottery.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
Recent Inventions.

A Canadian inventor has patented a
combined comb and razor TO trim hair
more rapidly and evenly.
A Kansas carpenter has patented a
device to be attached to saw to blow
away the sawdust. A piston. struck
by the wood being sawed, sends cur
rent of air through curved tube.
A Brooklyn man has secured pat
cnt on a spiked driving wheel and run
ners to replace the ordinary wheels
and convert an automobile into mo-
tor driven sleigh when snow is on the
ground.
\ new flying machine invented by n
Russian military engineer is said to
lift weights five times greater and to
carry them at higher speed than the
aeroplanes of similar power owned by
other European nations.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
British Briefs.

The first submarine boat was tried
in Plymouth harbor, England, in 1II4.
The wooden counter is almost uni
versally used in the United Kingdom
in place of the glass showcase.
In the wild asses house at the Lon
don geological gardens the first kiang
ever bred there has been born. The
kiang is the largest species of wild
ass in existence and is n native of
Tibet and Mongolia.
Almost any steamer atioat in the
merchant service can now go to Man
chester, England, the deepening of the
ship canal to a uniform depth of twen-
ty-eight feet having been completed
after over three years continuous
work
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25

faction was actually burdensome. She
navigated that wheel from rosy morn
till dewy eve" and sometimes consid-
erably later. Her friends did not ap-
prove of the miracle of her restora-
tion, and some Of them said things.
Her husband was a physician, and 1t
was awkward for him to explain how
1t all occurred.
Finally a material catastrophe hap
pened. One day while speeding
through a sleepy Hudson river village
madam came In conjunction with a
mild eyed and recumbent Jersey COW
enjoying her noontide rumination in a
shady bypath. Between the concus-
Blon and the fright the valuable ami
NAL was rendered temporarily lndis-
posed, and her sordid owner sued the
doctor for damages and got them.
Even that did not put the brake on
madam's activity. She kept on wheel
ing until the fad began to decline.
Then she resumed her rather becom-
ing negligee and her couch.
One of the things for which l have
never yet heard anybody try to ac-
count is the Gotham vibrato. 1 could
If l would-explain why 1t is that
the male falsetto sopranos that infest
the Venetian canals warble in that ex-
ecrable fashion, hut l cannot under
stand why any ablebodied inhabitant
of this progressive city should want
to initiate them and In doing SO pro-
duce a tone suggestive of the help
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
HUMoR OF THE HOUR
II Didn't Come OF That Time.

Il Didn't Come of That Time.
Billy had been taught that 1t is a sin
to lie, so of course he never meant to
tell lie. Whenever he did stretch the
truth, which occasionally happened in
spite of his good intentions. he did so
merely through the exuberance of his
lively Imagination. One day just as
Billy perpetrated one of his whoppers
the recently mended heel of his shoe
came off His mother noticed that the
accident and the lapse from truthful
ncSs coincided.
There" she said severely; "see what
happened TO you as result of your
wickedness. Hereafter whenever you
tell falsehood something terrible will
happen to you"
"Will my boot heel always come
OFF, asked Billy. 'Qulte likely" she
replied. IF it isn't that 1t will be
something equally bad"
For several days after that Billy
talked but little. and what few state
ments he did make were carefully
weighed beforehand. One day upon
his return from school he became less
cautious and entertained the family
with the account of an incident that
had enlivened his trip home. The story
seemed quite plausible, and no one
would have thought of doubling his
veracity had not Billy, after looking at
the heel of his shoe. exclaimed trium-
phantly:
"There; It didn't come of that time
anyhow."-Ncw York Herald.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
The Royal Box.

The crown princess of Montenegro
is the champion royal lady wrestler Of
all Europe.
Prince Edward of Wales is a splen-
did athlete and one Of the best boxers
in his class at school.
Ferdinand 1. Of Bulgaria Is a dis
tinguished student Of botany, a great
ornithologist, an Omnlverous reader
and a connoisseur in all matters Of art.
The most popular girl, without
doubt, in Germany is Princess Vic
toria Louise, daughter Of the kaiser,
who II q pretty maiden Of sweet six
teen.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
Household Hints.

After trimming turn the wick of a
lamp below the burner or the oil will
ooze.
Boil new coffeepots in bOrax water
and clean water kettles in the same
manner.
Paraffin used on the tops of preserve
glasses can be saved until the next
season by washing in cold water and
putting in tin box with tight lid.
When broiling steaks in the gas oven
put water in the pan beneath the broil-
er. 1t catches all grease, which when
cold can be skinned Off This keeps
the oven clean and saves labor in
cleaning the pan.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25

HIS CRITICISM IS THAT IT DOESN'T TICKLE
only when this absurd little piece of
mechanism is exploited by some mis-
chievous and good looking maiden that
Its real danger as menace to dignity
and several other manly attributes is
disclosed
1t Is not for that reason, however,
that Jacobus Damn is so pronounced
against the ticker. His criticism is
that it doesn't tickle; that it fails to
accomplish the end for which 1t was
intended. 1t doesn't seem to have oc-
Cured to him that his own pachyder-
matous exterior is at fault; that its
possibility of being affected by any
thing less positive than the sting of a
yellow jacket has passed forever.
To my taste the great assembly hall
In the main building of the College of
the City of New York is the nOblest
interior In America with ceiling un-
supported by pillars. Some of the
legislative halls In the newer capitols
are more pretentious and even more
ornate, but the big English gothic hall
of the college surpasses any Of them
in dignity and architectural conference,
Certainly no American seat of learn
Ing has anything at all comparable
with it. About the only other example
recalled by it is the city hall of Brus-
sells. Such splendid architectural re-
sult-outside of ecclesiastical effort,
that isis made possible only when
the public treasure, and a good deal Of
It, Is at the back Of the enterprise.
One Of the most distinctively credita-
BILE things done by the municipal au-
thorities Of Gotham during the present
generation has been to provide the
millions to rear the beautiful group
Of buildings dominating Washington
heights.
sTUYvEsANT BROWN.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
A Cause of Joy.

Jamie was begging his father for a
second helping of preserves. when ]
was boy" said his papa, my father
only allowed me to have one helping"
Jamie was silent for a minute and
then asked, Aren't you glad you live
with us now. daddy?"-Denver Repub-
lican.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25

ME was when
the Horse Show,
with a capital II
and S in those
days. was one of
the chief social
splurges of the
metropolis. Then
Il CHASTITY lapse.
The horse show
of last year was
not even q re-
spectacle ghost
of its former self.
The Garden was
there, cavernous
and unbeautiful.
as usual. There
were ors g s,
troops of them.
Even the crowd
was present, as
bizarre almost as
the orange and
black hung audi
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
Both Guesses Wrona.

Algy-But l weary you, Miss Capsi
cum. I'm Il great talker.
Miss Capsicum - On the contrary,
Mr. Feathertop, you don't weary me
at all, and l find your small talk very
diverting.-Chicago Tribune.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
Quarrel In the Woods.

you're lots more of a coward than
/ am" declared the squirrel.
"Maybe, but I'm not nearly so much
of tail bearer" answered the rab-
bit, wiggling its nose Neutrality-suspicious.
soS CITY Times
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25

"Why do you invariably predict the
coolest winter we have had in years?"
"Well," answered Professor Blather
ton, ''if it comes true people neces-
sarily give me credit for great wisdom
And If it doesn't come true they are
too thankful to hold any grudge."-
Washington Star.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
Strictly So.

NIagistrate-Is the assault of which
the prisoner is accused one of gravity?
Lawyer-Indeed, it is, your honor!
It was at the top of hill my client
was struck, and he rolled to the bot
tom.-Baltimore American.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25

torium. But where was the smart set.
and especially where were the Four
Hundred?
1 have asked question which It is
not polite for me to answer. but l don't
mind saying they were not at Madison
Square Garden.
Why? Not because the noblest four
footed friend of man through all the
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
Possible Exclamation.

Mrs. Biggs-My husband seems to be
lost in thought about half the time.
Mrs. Diggs-I suppose his ideas are
so far apart that he can't help getting
lost on the way from one to the other.
st. Louis Post-Dispatch.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
One ADVANTAGE,

81 found that was smoking too
much, so I changed from cigars TO
pipe
But you smoke all day long now"
"Yes, but one has to stop now and
then to fill a pipe, you see."-Cleveland
Leader.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
Hors d'Oeuvres.

Indignant Patron-Why, this is an
outrageous price for just a small plain
dinner.
Bland Proprietor-You forget, sir,
the number and variety of microbes
you've eaten!-Puck.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25

centuries nau be-
come otherwise.
not because the
automobile had
made horsehesh
less admirable.
not because the
cult of the pre-
vention of cruel
ty to animals had
revolutioniZed So
ciety - not for
any one of these
reasons nor for
IN any another
that might sug-
gest itself to Il
m IN with n
thinking appara-
tus in need of
renovation. The
reason why l
had to write the
obituary notice
of the hors e
show when l felt
like doing an un-
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
ch.ro. For InFormation.

Myer-A friend Of mine has invented
a submarine telephone.
oyer - Now I suppose we'll soon
know what the wild waves are saying.
Detroit Tribune.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
Hobo Loqic.

Tired Timothy-I never ask crust
NV crusty man.
Languid Lewis-Don't youse?
Tired Timothy-Naw. l alters ask
fer meat, cause den I'm shore Nv git
tin de cold shoulder.-Chicago News.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
Seasons Changes.

Patience - Is lie getting ready for
winter?
Patrice-Oh, yes. He's broken of
his engagement with his summer girl.
-Yonkers Statesman.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
A Self Made Woman.

Oliver Qrritably)-That woman would
differ from the Lord himself.
Olivia-She has already done so.
Oliver-In what way2
Olivia-On q matter of fOrm.-Judge.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25

Which reminds me-strangc thing,
this association of ideas. isn't it,
that today is the tenth anniversary If
an episode which impressed me Very
profoundly at the time. To facilitate
matters, it was ten years ago today
that was made the lodging place of
an opprobrious epithet because l had
the preSciencc and the courage to
prophesy that the craze for bicycling
would not endure-that ii was an In
fiated fad which would not admit of
further expansion. 1t was heroic
thing for me to do. and / never quite
could understand how l managed to
do it. In the heated argument that
followed my antagonist so far forgot
himself as to say-I cannot tell what,
but it was something that made him
infinitely diStasteful to me, and l
bided my time.
l had not long to wait. His wife,
who practically had been bedridden
for several years, was seized with the
prevailing epidemic. rose from her
couch and proclaimed her intention to
ride the wheel. He had become so
reconciled to her inactivity that her
sudden return to real life was n posi-
tive shock. That was my revenge No.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
Thud.

Thud.
Green-I shaved on my mustache
yesterday.
Brown-Yss, noticed. Quite Q
downfall, wasn't iti-Judge.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25

like doing an un- TIRED OF ITS PLAY
reserved naean THING.
Of joy over the complete political over
throw of an enemy who had an ambi-
tiOn to use the splendid and overcapi-
talized statehouse at Albany as his
business headquarters the coming win
Ter was because society, big, capricious
kid that it is, had tired of its play.
thing.
But 1t could not forget its toy. which
1t had not thrown into the junk pile,
but had laid carefully away on the
shelf. When the longing for it be-
came unbearable society simply stretch
ed out its long arm and re-embraced It
with an extra hug.
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25

According to Jacobus Damn. for
whom his Knickerbocker blood has
done so little, the most demoralizing
feature of demonstration such as
occurred In the vicinity of the great
metropolitan newspapers on election
night is the "tickler." To avoid con-
fusion. let it be understood right here
that the tickler Is an apparently in
nocuous device consisting of a tuft of
feathers fastened to the end of slen-
der stick yard or so in length 1t Is
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25
An Earnest TrifIer
In Gotham.
Renaissance Of the Horse ShOw-The Lady
and the Jersey Cow-Ihe
"TICkler."

IFrom Our New York Correspondent
The citizen. (Honesdale, Pa.) 1908-1914, 1908-11-25

me or perish" idea. That is precisely
what very appreciable quantities of
young women endowed by nature with
charming voices are doing today.
Last Sunday a lamentable instance
came within my observation. At
church during the singing of the first
hymn my attention was attracted
and correspondingly distracted-by
remarkable vocal effort which was in
progress in the pew directly behind
me. 1t evidently came from n woman
with a voice strong. true and sweet,
but so shaky that 1t suggested extreme
old age. My first impulse was one of
unqualified admiration for the owner
of voice so well preserved and still
So youthful in its quality. 1t is not
conventional-in the church l attend
to look behind one even for purposes
Of scientific observation, and did not
violate the code until the closing hymn.
Then 1t was that my passion for in
vestigation overcame me, and 1 turned
just enough to see that the singer who
had interested me was a markedly at
tractive young woman of not to ex-
ceed twenty summers.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28
A Simple Test Which Any
 Reader of this Paper May Try

Do you know whether you are in- c1ined to. or have kidney trouble?
 Have you ever tried the simple test of setting aside your urine in a bottle or vessel forttwenty-four hours?
 A sediment or settling in the urine indicates a diseased condition.
 Science has today furnished proofs that all the purifying that your blood needs: fin fact. all that can be done. must be done by. your Kidneys.
 They are the most important organs. because they filter and purify the blood.
 The Kidneys strain or filter out the impurities in the biood--tlnat is their work.
 When your blood Is impure nothing can purify it but your kidneys.
 To overcome these troubles. take pr. Kilmer's swamp Root the world-fa- nous kidney remedy. In taking Swamp-Root you afford natural help to Nature. for swamp Root Is the most perfect healer and gentle aid to the kidneys that has yet been discovered.
 If you mention our paper and write pr. Kilmer & O.. Binghamton. N. Y.. for. sample bottle. they will send it free by maii--ft will convince anyone. You. will also receive booklet of val uable Information telling all about the kidneys.
The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-04-28

consideration the location of the schools in about forty-seven or forty eight counties. This figure is obtained by subtractfng from the sixty seven Ecoun- ties in the State those counties in which are located the following: An agricultural school..a normal school for white people, the University. the Ala bama Polytechnic Institute. the Indus trial School for White Girls. or high school free to all the children of the county.
 Under the act of the Legislature pro- vfd.ng for the new high schools, they cannot be established fin any of,the.coun- ties in which are located already the institutions named until after high school has been established in all the other counties"
 Applications in writing with sufIicient guarantees have been submitted, to the Commission from all eligible counties except Greene. The Commission will act upon these proposals in writing, to- gether with the arguments which are to be made by delegations who will likely call on the body tomorrow and Thursday. Several delegations have already come to Montgomery in the in- terest of their respective communities and stated fin glowing terms the ad- vantages of the towns they represent. Others will flock to the Capitol during the two days set apartsfor this consid- eration by the Commission.
 The hearing will probably be had in the offce of the Governor. He is chairman of the Commission. The Gov- ernor was yesterday in Macon, sGa.. where he went from Savannah. Ga.,. on private business. From Macon. he will go to Birmingham today. and thence Is expected to come to Montgomery to- morrow.
 Colleges are Interested.
 The importance of the high schools that are just about to be built has res ceived the studied attention of the leading college educators of the State They recognize that much of the col- lege material must come out of these high schools which will occupy the commanding position of middle course between the rural or township schools and the college. With this in view, the Alabama Association of College Presi- dents were organized during the recent convention of the Alabama Educational Association.
 At this gathering of college presi- dents. a committee was appointed to suggest a uniform course of study for the county high schools. The con- sensus of opinion at the meeting Of college presidents seemed to be that the high schools should produce grad mates ready to enter. the freshman class of such institutions as the University, the Alabama Polytechnic Institute Howard College and Southern univer. sity. The high schools are expected to furnish that longed-for mediumn whicb will retard the swarm of young and unenuipped boys headed too early to the colleges. For these reasons. the college heads rather welcome the nisn scho ools in every county.