Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-05-06

"Just in time, sir just III time and
it seems to me that you'll be doing time
soon."
why, what do you mean, uncle"
"How many wives have you got, you
young reprobate?"
How many? Why, one. of course.
How many do you think I've got?"
Il am afraid to guess. At present I
have only met three"
"Three! What are you talking
about?"
Il don't know what they call it
trigonometry or something-but it's
against the law"
"What is?''
"Why, to have three wives-three
wives, and I've got 'em all in that
ROOM"
"But I've only got one WIFE"
us that so? Then I'll introduce you
to three. Nelly 70
He opened the door and Nelly Sharp
came out.
''Now, sir, Is this lady your wife?"
"Well-er-that is-yes, sir"
81 am glad you have acknowledged
one-What Is it now, Barker?"
"Mr. James Brown, SIR"
"Ah! your father; am glad he has
come. Show him in, Barker"
Jim's father came into the room with
out-stretched hands.
"Ah Tom; just in time"
Eyes, James, you are just in time.
Allow me to introduce you to one of
your sons wives"
what Jim married."
Eyes, father; was married week
ago, but"
pardon me one moment You have
acknowledged one wife; 1 will bring in
another. Kate!"
Kate came into the room at his call.
"Now, sir, is this your wife?"
Eyes, sir, 1t is; but"
Then how dare you have two wives,
and how dare you stand there and
brazen it out before them both?"
what is the matter, jim? 1 don't
understand all this" said Kate.
1.-The matter, my dear, is that this
young scoundrel has married three
wives"
"Oh, Jim, Jim say that it isn't true.
Can this be the reason why you wished
to keep our marriage a secret"
Excuse me; will now bring in wife
number three. Sarah"
Mrs. Brown, senior, came into the
room in a very indignant manner.
do you acknowledge this lady as
your wife?"
"No; do not"
81 should think not. indeed" snorted
Sarah Brown. "a woman at my time
Of life to get married to a boy! This
gentleman is my husband"
"What! My brother James,"
Eyes, Tom; we were married secretly
a week ago, because didn't like to tell
Jim that 1 contemplated giving him a
stepmother."
"Well, that subtracts one from the
number; but you've still got two, jim"
"Uncle, allow me to confess, and I
will explain all. When 1 got your note
this morning saying that you would
like to see my wife, and if you liked
her you would give her $1,000, Katie
was away at Irvona. had no time to
telegraph to her, and 1 did not wish to
lose your generous present, so 1 per-
suaded my good friend, Nelly Sharp, to
pretend that she was my wife,"
"Oh, Jim, then she's not your wife?"
mo, dear; and must ask her par
don for placing her in such an unpleas-
ant position. 1 am sorry, Nelly; 1 did
not know my wife was in town."
81 missed you so dreadfully, 1
couldn't stay away, JIM"
"Well, it appears to me that we are
clearing things up all round" said Tom
Brown, "and it's only been a misun-
Outstanding after all. 1 forgive you
your little deception, Jim, and will let
you have that check, but it seems a
stupid epidemic to strike family, this
secret marriage business. Give it up,
give it up, and don't do it again. BY
George, It's late; l must go. Ten min
utes to get to the wharf. All Of you
jump in cabs, and come and see me off,"
"Can we do it?"
eyes; We'll be just in time" Detroit
News Tribune.
Wasp's Jaws Make COIOny's Nest.