davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22
The Leading Paper of the County,
right-Breezy-BeIlicose-Buztling

Aprile will soon be here. Then II
won't be long after that until snring
sets in, follered soon by summer, then
ottum and winter agin.
Amt it jest turrible the wav tim.
flies! It don't seem almost = yeer ago
that Hen Weathersby was hauled m
before the court at the county seat for
having scales in his store wich weighed
ounce shy 20 pound and Mrs. Cv
Ifosk1ns had row on the street with
Abe Witherow's wife; that Melancthon
Jones was ketched stealing chickens
and Anne Hitler got fullern a goose at
the 20. seat and stayed there three
days. No, we can hardly realize how
tast the time has slipped By till we
can scan the pages in our ledgers and
see how much some OF our tight-hsted
subscribers owe Us.
We are glad 10 see spring approach.
however We have looked forward to
IT for some months with keen-edRcd
anticipashion, as you might say. Often
when we have got outen warm bed
before daylight to build the fires durin
the past winter and have slept onto A
chunk OF stove-wood IN our bare feet
we have sighed and wished in our
heart for spring When we have been
oct on the streets hunting I'D news
items and it so blamed cold that our
breth would freeze fast to our whis-
lIers and we had to keep rubin our
ears to keep them from gettin frost
bit, we have yearned for spring with
deep yearn.
Yes. gentle reader, we long for the
time to come when we shall hear the
first harbinger of spring, the hand or
gan, the little birds carrolling their
lays and. likewise the hens. We can
hardly wait for the buds to begin TO
bust open and the flours to bloom.
Our eyes ache for the sight of the in
nocent little lambkins ganlboiling on
the green and the voice of the king
fisher and the fly-up-the-crick. We
have had long hard winter in our
midst and we long for the gentle zef-
fers Of the summer time. Jasper Haw-
kins saw two robins last week or the
week before wich he says is sure sign
that spring amt fur Of. But Jasp is
that neer-sighted he couldn't tell a
robin from pigeon. Let US hope he
was right.
We have been shet in long enuff.
We long for the blue sky and the green
fields and new subscribers How would
it suit some of you dead beat subscrib-
ers to pay US somethink on subscript-
shion this spring? We would take If
very kindly.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22
Locals

II is thawing as we go to press. and
judging from the amount Of snow on
the ground IL will haft to thaw for
three weeks before the snow Is all
gone.
Miss Sally Hoskins, our poet writer
is wearing a pork rind around her
throat for a dreadful cold wich
threatened to turn into newmonia or
somethink. She IS out OF danger now.
but looks kinder picked.
Jabe Tucker. cheef Of our fire dept.
fell on the Use while coming out OF Bill
Hepburn's blacksmith shop the other
day and hurt hisself between the shop
and Widow SINNERS. Jabe says ne for
got to turn his hinge creepers down be-
fore he started out He says he most
ollus falls down when he don't.
We wish TO call attenshion TO the ad
Of Jethro Jennings in anuther colIum
for the sale Of sugar spiles. We are
told that they give turrible satisfack-
sSion and Jeth could sell twice as
menny IL he wasn't so mighty slow
maxim of them.
Eph Higgins. our accOmmOdatin post
master, desires us 10 say that the P O.
will be closed all this week. except Sat
terday night, as Eph is engaged in
maxim oct his quarterly report TO the
government and don't want 10 be
bothered. Eph gets turrible swet up
when he has TO make out his quarterly
report, and asks them as desire their
mail to walt until he is thru with it.
Miss Mehitabel Whittacre has broke
or her engagement with Leander HEe
from the Co. seat that's been sparkin her
for the past five yeers. Her father but
tonhoIed him in the front parlor last
Sunday and asst him man to man how
much longer he expected him TO support
his daughter with no sign OF her gittin
hitched I'D and Mrs. Whittacre's pash-
lcnts purity night exhosted. Leander re-
plIde that Jest as soon as he got money
enun TO build house he would take
Mehita5ei for better or worse and so
forth. Lafe was so disgusted he up and
told him II that was the case he would
never get married at all and to leave
the house before he lost his temper and
never to come there again for emmy more
Sunday dinners and suppers.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22
Society

Miss Phronicia Watkins attended a ex-
elusive soshial tea party last Tuesday
give by Mrs. Cy Hoskins and when it
was all over she tried to cut acrost lots
to her home and waded clean over her
boots in the slush. Now she has tur-
rible bad cold on her chest and worst
one in her head. Phronicia had a new
pair of gum boots. too, but 1t seems she
is too proud to wear them at soshial
events.
Mrs. Amri Haines gave anuther qhiitin
party last Monday afternoon Mrs.
Haines has got herself three quilts made
up by other wimmen at her quiltin par
ties so far this winter The nabers have
begin TO talk erbout it.
Miss Jane Hillyer has been troubled
with pig stys this winter witch has in
terfered somewhat with her sOSfial Whirl
duties Doc. Livermore is doing some
thing for them and Jane says the medi-
sine makes her eyes smart like fury.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22

give Rev Moore a quarter TO boot and
departed with his bride.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22
HOD SLOCOMB
LOCKED Up!
Feed by His Wife

Hod Slocomb has suffered the loss Of
a buffalo robe, q halter and several
other things from his buggy shed this
winter. and when he went out tother
morning TO do some work and discovered
part OF a harness and some other things
missing, HOd was mad as wet hen and
almost beside hisself with anger lords
the thieves. He eussed around some
and then he made UP his mind that he
would fasten up the buggy shed so tight
that no thief couldn't get IN without a
key 20 save his neck. Wen, with this
thot in mind and In the heat OF rage Hod
went back 10 his house and STAYED few
minnits and then come out with a big
spring lock wieh he nailed on the buggy
shed door. After turning the key back
and forth few times and finding the
lock give turrible satisfackshion. Hod
went into the buggy shed to work. for
getting 10 take the key outen the lock
After a short spell the door closed with
a bang before Hod knowd whot had hap
pened
Then II suddintly come to him that he
had locked hiSselt in and he holiored 10
his wife who had went to spend the day
with Mrs Amri Haines Hod tried 10
kick the door down. but IL resisted his
assaults. and as Hod lives some distance
from the road no person heard his cries,
so the result was that he didn't get
out until evening, when his wife come
home, and was horrible surprised 10 find
Hod missing and the house all dark She
then hollored for Hod and ast him where
he was, wieh Hod answered mighty
quick. ana she let him cuten the shed.
The fust thing Hod done was 10 smash
the lock all 20 pieces, and then euss the
man who made It.
At present they aint any lock on the
shed at all. being as there amt ennythink
in It to steal except a old buggy and a
horse collar.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22
LANDS END

BIZ Henshaw went pickerel fishing last
week and ketched several wich weighed
five lbs altogether.
Emily Winters has purchased two DIT
OF striped stockings She says she likes
them ever so much better than the white
ones. We agree with you Emily.
Rufe Atkins is repairing his harness
some with a view TO driving TO the
County seat next week
Mrs. Hen Jordans COW had a can last
week. but II was sickly critter and dide
soon.
HI Saunders brought home q mongrel
pup last Satterday and II follered HI
down cellar where his big cat was nus
sing kittens. In less than 10 seckonds
the dog went out with the cat on HIS
back and HI sin't seen the dog sinst
Ephraim Henderson says he is going to
build stone fence as soon as the snow
goes Of. II that's the case Il looks as
II Eph wouldn't get at It until some time
next summer.
School has been closed on account Of
measles. The teacher has EN-.
There has been a right smart spell OF
cold in our midst.
PRO BONO PUBLIco.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22

Miss Alilly Underwood desires 10 know
II emmy or the nabers has saW ennything
OF one OF her stockings ennywhere. Il is
a red poIksdOt stocking. which she bought
with the mate to Il last fall az the Coun-
" seat and paid 30 cents for the pair
Il seems that Ailly warshed her stock
inEs recently and hung them I'D on the
line 10 dry. Well. the wind come
up strong durin the night and blowd one
Of the stockings away and now she has
only one stocking Being as these stock
ings was expensive and the ones which
Milly wears for her Sunday best. will
emmy person finding this stocking please
return It 70 her immediate?
Hen WeatheTsby. prop Of our general
store. has got in new spool OF barbed
wire which he is Offering FOR sale 70 his
customers who need barbed wire. Il IS
the sharpest barbed wire that Hen has
ever had in stock as sam Skinner. who
come into he store and set down on it
can testify.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22
Country Correspondence
HAPPY VALLEY.

Eph Foster is getting ready TO tap his
maple trees. He tapped them last spring
but waited until too late and did AL lis
work for nothing
Jim Snyder while combin out his colts
name last week got his WhiskeFs mkt
up in some hay wich the colt was eatln
and had a porshion OF them chewed OF
before he was cOnshious OF whot had
happened.
Mary Ann Green. the bell OF Happy
Valley, has a new beau. He Is kind Of
a homely cuss. but roomer says he has
two or three hundred dollars in the bank
Haman Wilson has a boil On his neck
Ham ollus expeckts more OF less bosls
every spring and so far he amt been
disappointed.
Ben Gibbs made a flying trip to the
Co. seat last week on business and pleas
ure. Ben arrived home fun OF pleasure
and passed some Of it around among the
boys.
Homer Welck improved his henhouse
last week BY corkin up the cracks in
same so that Il would be warmer in
side than out. he also whitewashed y
and the henhouse looks much improved
EXCELSIOR.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22
perfesshIonaI AIotlse

Erbout this time every yeer somebuddv
comes to me and reports the loss OF some
of their hens and chickens, and ex-
peckts me 20 chase all over the County
for nothink to find the guilty cuiprits.
Now this yeer ! wish TO announce that
am prepared to watch hen houses TO
prevent theeving at very low rates con-
siderin how lonesome and dangerous sich
work is and 1 will garrantee 20 shoot
emmy bastard that darst to steal from
emmy property am hired TO watch.
! have had long experience in track
ing to earth desprit characters and al
ways go armed with two revolvers and
a hunting knife when I am on duty
SETH DEWRERRY.
Bingyille. Town Constabls.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22
GahG Has a Gum Game
Played On Him

Gabe skinner says he won't never
have annuther piekture took Of hlssel;
again as long as he lives Three weeks
ago this coming Monday a agent came
around and told Gabe he would make
a pickture OF him for so cts and last
SatterGay the agent come 10 The hOuSs
when he wasn't 10 home and collected
s. and han from his wife for tae
pickture ard a cheap frame Worst OF
all the pickture looks erbort as rIucn
Ike Gabe as a jackass does.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22
The Dentist Made a Mistake

Mrs. Bale Hawkins broke two false
teeth outer her plate last Monday morn
ing and went to the Co. seat to have
them fxt. After the dentist had re-
paired them he put them in her mouth
and she wore them home and thot all
the way that they didn't feel Just right.
When she got home and looked at her
self in the glass she almost famed at
the sight Of a row OF big teeth that
belonged TO mans set Then her sYr-
prise turned TO anger and she maoe
Bale hitch up again and drive right
back. and when they got there she
started in to give the dentist tongue
lashing. and he stopt her right of by
saying he didn't have time to lissen
to her and she could write it out when
she got home. Then he give her her
own set and she was satisfied and went
outen the offise maddern wet hen for
having to ride so fur IN one day.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22
Ri[ths

We are glad TO announce the birth Of
baby boy borned TO Mr.. and Mrs Hen
Jordan at their residence last THURSDAY
night after eveTybuddy else in Bingvflle
had gone TO bed Doc Livermore Off
shiated as ushual and brought .he child
into the world safe and sound. Up 10
this time Mr.. and Mrs. Jordan generally
had girls and Hen uSter feel purity blue
every time a girl came erlong. but he
didn't get diskurridged and now his
pashents is rewarded. This makes 9 girls
and two boys for Hen-au In good health
and awful big eaters.
The Washington herald., 1908-03-22
HOW ARE YOU FIST FOR
SUGGAR WATER SPILES !?

I am maxim
SUGAR TREE SPILES
again this spring, the same as I done
last spring, and have a good quantity
on hand ready for sale. Them as
used my spiles last spring
SAYS THEY
WONT BUY
Emmy THIS YEAR
as they are made so well they last two
yeers.
BETTER BUY
a few of these spiles when you open
YOUR sugar csmp-If w0n'f do emmy
harm If il don'f do enHy good.
I make hkess
SPHES OUTEN HICKORY WOOD
durin my spare time in the winter and
my wife says
Putte= Too Much
With the Blamed Things
To Ever
Make a Cent Outen Them.
That's how know they be all wool
and yard wide.
All you halt TO do IS to
Bore A Hole Into
the Tree and DRIVE
EN- IN.
Then set your pail under the spile and
see the sap drip.
Fifty Cents per
Duzzen is Wot
These SpiIeS Is
l sell EN- cheeper in smaller quantities.
For sugar sPiies see me at onct.
JETHRo JENNINGS.
Bingville
The Topeka state journal., 1908-07-13
LONG AND BRISTOW.
They Will Speak from the Same Plat
form Tomorrow.


The indications are that there will
be something warm in the political
line doing at Sterling tomorrow after
noon. Senator Long and his opponent
J. L. Bristow, are both to be there and
are scheduled to make speeches at the
.Chautauqua. The Chautauqua man
agement has given it out that the two
candidates for United States senator
can talk politics or anything else they
want to talk about at this meeting and
it will be all right. If it is the under
standing that each man can boost his
own candidacy for senator and both
speak from the same platform, one
following directly after the other.
there should be some warm remarks
made. The Brfstow supporters are
preparing to ask Mr. Long some hot
questions and the Long crowd is load
ed for Mr.. Bristow on the same
proposition. The afternoon should be
real interesting and entertaining for
the innocent bystander while the par
ticipants get hurt.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-07-13

the speaker was interrupted by mo-
tion TO admit him to membership at
once. Motion carried.) Thank you
VIII De ready as soon as the turnips
from my government seeds ripen for
the table (Here Hr. Anthony butted
IN ana declared that his seeds were the
best, and the club decided to go to
Leavenworth first for the banquet.
some one moved that they go to the
Tort while Macdonald was in Scot
and put the motion. THAT Macdonald
leave at once for Scotland" 1t car
ried without a dissenting voice.
MI Curtis then went on to eulogise
his friend. Congressman Sherman. Re
publican nominee for the vice presi-
dency. Sherman is a prince of a good
IelioW. and would enjoy himself If he
was. here; he always has a great, time
at the gridiron banquets. CAT this
point some one proposed Sherman for
membership, and the New Yorker was
elected In hurry.)
MI. sherman is big enough to be
president" declared the speaker. He
is the best parliamentarian in the
United States. excepting only H. J.
Bone" (The chairman rose and made
most graceful bow to the speaizer)
MI Curtis then went on to tell about
the actions of a club member, whom
ne referred to- as the gentleman from
Michigan. at the Chicago convention,
but fear of a libel suit prevents the
publication Of the story. kansas has
had as much to do with the naming Of
party candidates for president as any
state In the Union" thundered the
speaker. Here Mr.. McNeal arose and
demanded: DO you mean to insinu-
ate that any other state in the Union
has had anything to do with the nam
ing of national candidates."
The speaker hastened to pacify Mr..
McNeal. and the speech went on.
Another reference to Congressman
Sherman was mistaken by Tom Doran
as a compliment to himself. When ap-
prised of his mistake, the local lawyer
began to make threats against the
speaker, but Mr. Curtis denied all re-
sponsibility. A third reference to Mr..
Sherman was received with cheers
sive address it was moved and carried
that Mr.. Sherman have the Saturday
Night club as his guests to a banquet
in Utica, the nominee for vice president
paying all expenses of the trip
Letters of Regret.
Letters of regret were read from the
following members: B. F. Eyer,
Orange. N. j.; H. ]. Barber. Chicago;
F. w. Pringle, Chicago; A. w. Benson.
Ottawa; Dell Keizer, Kansas City;
Senator John Rush, Denver, Colo;
Col. Ed Little Of Abilene, and also
cablegram from Donald Rose, London.
England.
The assemblage adjourned at the
hour of midnight and the Silver Jubi-
lee banquet of the Saturday Night CLUB
had passed into history, leaving a
pleasant flavor in the mouth and glad
ness in the heart of every guest and
member present. One hundred ana
twenty-five guests enjoyed the ban
Quet. ..f1
The Topeka state journal., 1908-07-13
HOW TO KEEP YOUNG.
Uncle Joe Cannon Recommends Light
Clothing and Diet.

Washington, July 13.-Speaker
Cannon is a believer in light summer
clothes and light summer diet. To
these things he. attributes no small
part of his agility at 20 years young.
For all the past week the speaker has
voluntarily placed himself at the
mercy of the humidity of wonderful
Washington. Humidity stands about
nority after the report of the benevo-
lent committee on rules.
'sI am here because I'm here" Quoth
the speaker. The- weather doesn't
bother me, / understand that it has
been hot for some of the younger fell
lows who haven't learned as much as
an old chap like myself"
Senator Hemenway and Representa-
tive Mckinley are responsible for the
speakers presence in Washington, He
is going with them to Mackinaw and
for two weeks hark not to the voice of
politics. ."Uncle joe was asked if he
did not feel resentment toward those
who would request that he swelter in
Washington for a whole week. He
proclaimed his utter disregard for the
thermometer and its telltale mercury.
After a short but livel-- run for a
street car the other day. 'UncIe Joe"
was addressed by an acquaintance
with the remark:
"If 1 were to run tht way my heart
would palpitate for an hour"
. Uncle Joe puneu a cigar mo-
ment. Then said:
"It's indigestion. You eat too much
during summer. What makes you do
it? A littel run like that doesn't
bother me-
"I notice it doesn't" replied the
young man seriously. Doesn't it
make your heart beat faster?'
MY heart doesn't bother me- re-
piled the beaming legislator. He
placed his hand gently over that all
important organ. patted it, threw back
a linen coat and continued: mo, it's
all right. We old fellows can teach
you youngsters few things, anyway.
Eat right, my boy, eat right
The Topeka state journal., 1908-07-13
BUCKWHEAT
SEFD~
|HUBBARD'S|
$40 Kansas Ave.

TINS provision all right for the young
man In the country but the young man
IN the city does not get to enjoy this
prrVnege. The trainers of the primary
law wanted to make the same nrovis,
ion for the city chap. but found that
they could not do so.
1t Is the registration law that is at
1ault. This law requires that voters
must be registered previous to an cleo
ton and the primary law makes the
same requirement for the primary.
ne registration law also has a spec
lal provision that man must be of
legal age before he can be registered
at all and does not provide that a man
can be registered IL he reaches his ma
Jority between the time the registra-
ton books close and the election date.
The young man in the city who will
become twenty-one years ago age be-
tween August 4 and the first of No
vember cannot vote at the primary
while his cousin on the farm Just OUT
side the city limits can vote.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-07-13
CUTS OUT CITY MAN.
II He Is Not Fl Before Primary He
Can Not Vote.

The primary election law. which is
supposed to give the voters a chance
to name their own party candidates.
instead of allowing political fixers to
do it, requires that in cities the voters
must be registered, the same as for a
general or city election. In making
this provision the primary law makes
discrimination against the young
man in the city and In favor of the
young man in the country. The fol-
lowing is the third division of Section
IL of the primary law:
IF registration be not required as a
condition precedent. any person who
will be a qualified elector of the pre-
cinct by reason of age at the ensuing
election for which the primary is held
shall be permitted to vote at such
primary"
The purpose of this section is to
give the young man who is not twen-
ty-one years of age at the primary
date but who will be of that age be-
fore the election following a chance
to help name his party candidates for
the election. The primary law makes
The Topeka state journal., 1908-07-13
HONOR FOR cleveland.
President Gives His Name to a Gov
ernment Forest Reserve.

Washington,July 13-The San Jacinto
forest in California will hereafter be
known as the Cleveland national for
est. 1t has been so re-christened by
President Roosevelt in honor Of the late
President Cleveland. under whose ad-
ministration the first national forests
were created.
In 1897. in honor of Washington's
165th birthday anniversary and upon the
recommendations of the National
Academy of Sciences President Cleve-
land created 13 national forests, con-
tanning about % million acres. The
San Jacinto forest was one of the orig
inal 13 so created.
The Topeka state journal., 1908-07-13
Senator Curtis the Last.

Senator Curtis. the last speaker on
the program. talked as follows on
Kansas and the Vice Presidency"
''I consider 1t the greatest of honors
to have an invitation to this banquet.
("That's all right. so far" commented
a member.) 1t has been the one great
regret of my life that I have always
been denied membership in this grand
organization I have made prepara-
tions on a splendid scale many times
to give a banquet to the club. (Here
The Topeka state journal., 1908-07-13
THAW STAYS IN JAIL.
Hearing on Application for jury Trial
Adjourned Until September.

White Plains, N Y, July 13.-Pro-
ceedings in Harry K. Thaw's applica-.
ton for a jury trial to determine his
mental condition were today adjourn
ed until the September term of the
supreme court of West Chester county.
This arrangement was entered into
before Judge Mills by Thaw's counsel
and District attorney Jerome of New
York. In the meantime Thaw will re-
main in the custody Of Sheriff Chanler
of Dutchess county and Will stay in the
Jail at PouRhkeepsie.
The Jeffersonian. [volume] (Atlanta, Ga.) 1907-1917, 1908-06-11

The Ryan Doodle.

They are kicking up a great racket
about that $4,000 which Thos F. Ryan
contributed to Mr.. Bryan's Nebraska
campaign fund.
Why so much noise?
Is not Thos. F. Ryan good Demo
crat? Isn't he the man who takes pos
session, bodaceously, Of the Virginia dele
cation, and hauls the virtuous patriots to
the National Democratic Convention in
his private car?
True, he wrecks the railroads and
traction lines of which he is master, af-
ter having squeezed out the last possible
dollar for 1hos. F. Ryan. True, he en-
ploys the same legislative corruptionist
in New York who works for the Repub-
lican millionaires. True, he is every bit
as much of "malefactor of great wealth"
as E. H. Hartman, J. ?, Morgan or .Jno.
D. Rockefeller. True, he stands for
thievery in finance and rottenness in peli-
tics; but what Of it? Isn't he good
Democrat? Has he not recently been elect
ed delegate to the National Democratic
Convention? Suppose a multi-nillion
aire of this canonical type, offers Doodle
to w. J. B., shall not the Peerless One
accept it? Yea, verify, gift horses of the
Ryan sort are not to be looked in the
mouth.