The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-01-26

at banquet:
"A WASHINGTON doctor was called to
his telephone by a negro woman, for
merly in the service of his wife. In
great agitation the darby advised the
physician that her youngest child was
In a bad way.
What seems to be the troubles"
asked the physician.
doc, she done swallowed a whole
bottle of inki"
I'll be over there in short while
to see her." said the medico. I'm the
meantime, have you done anything for
her?'
II done fed her three pieces O. blot
tin paper. Doc" said the negress,
doubtfully.
While entertaining a party of friends
at his country house at Sag Harbor, L.
J., recently, Robert Edeson came upon
two startling discoveries. The actor is
very fond-of music and a giant phono-
graph is one of his many musical pos
sessions. One of the records for this
contains a potpourri of southern airs
which is always a favorite with the
CLASSMATES" hero. being himself
southerner. Upon the occasion referred
to the record could not be found. He
interviewed his German servant with
the following result:
"Smultze, my freund up the road, you
know Smultze, yes?''
Yes"
"VeIl, he come in here Won day und
he tramp right on the record und it
go smash Got, ] could kill him.
Smultze, he own poultry farm, so 1
say you gife me two ducks for the re-
eorder." and as the actor looked ask
ance, the German added:
I've hat the recorder for dinner"
Robert Edeson, appearing in Glass
mates, says that a spade isn't always
spade in Boston, and illustrates it
with this:
1t was a quick lunch restaurant:
Coffee an sinkers," said the stranger
to the waiter.
BEG pardon, sir" said the latter,
"but | fail to grasp the intricacies of
your nomenclature"
You know what coffee it"
Yes, sir"
well. sinkers are doughnuts."
The waiter smiled frostiiy.
BEG pardon. sir" he said, but in
this establishment we always allude to
them as submarines"
y
Some time ago De Wolf Hopper was
local option" prevailed, fact that
he vas unacquainted with until one
night after the performance he ordered
some refreshments sent to his room Tor
the entertainment of his friends. He
was very much surprised when told of
the situation, and as he left the desk
he recognized one of the darby bell
boys as one who had served him inter-
mittently for some years, and calling
him said:
George, you know me? Well, want
you to take this 50 bill and get me the
very best bottle of whisky to be had in
this town, and don't you dare to come
back without it. 1 know you can do
the trick if you want to. Now hurry
Mr. Hopper returned to his rooms,
and after an hour or SO there was rap
at the door, which was opened to ad-
NIT the smiling boy, with two large
packages under his arm. He had the
goods.
Now tell me-" said Mr.. Hopper,
how did you manage it?'
well, sab. you see / knowed a
place where dey sell de liquor on de
Sly. and l just raped at de doah and
axed for some. He man he aXed me
who it's for, and | dun tole him twas
for Mister Wolf de Copper, and boss,
he glib me two bottles and won't take
no money"
Harry Watson, jr., of the team of
Bickel and Watson played a joke on
his partner just previous TO their leav-
ing the Jardin de Paris in New York,
where they had been playing all sum-
mer Bickel and Watson have been
associates for a great many years in
the same productions and never before
haC OXafcRn tried N have finn the
expense of Bickel
It seems that every day Bickel came
to the theatre for his mail there was
a package waiting for him G. o. D.
The first day 1t was a bathing suit,
and. thinking his wife had bought it
for him, he paid for it. When he
reached home and opened the package
he found that it was barely large
enough to fit a midget. He spoke to
his wife and she knew nothing of it.
The next day there was another pack
age, this time a pair of boxing gloves.
The day following he received a pair
of dumb bells, C. o. D., and still he
couldn't see the joke.
To cap the climax. the day following
he had to pay for six boxes Of a popu-
lar and widely advertised cereal food
guaranteed to produce brain matter.
This was too much. He sent for a de-
tective, and, after three days investi-
CATION and, incidentally, much expense.
Watson was discovered to be the cul-
prit.
z. NJ. Holland, who plays the leading
role in the stage story of Meredith
Nicholson's novel, THE House of a
Thousand Candles" is and has been
for some years one of the foremost
character actors in America. His faith
err. George Holland, an early-day
comedian, also gained prominence in
his time The elder Holland died in
1870 1t was i'm connection with his
death, it will be remembered. that the
Little Church Around the Corner ac-
quired its title.
So conscientious and watchful was
George Holland of his own professional
name that it was for many years after
his oldest sons first appearance that
his father would permit him to use the
family name. he having early deter
mined ii should not appear on the
atre program save as representing one
worthy of the family record.
e. NJ Hollands first appearance on
the stage was as an infant, carried In
arms. in a play in which his father