The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-12-20
PLEAS WILL BE FLEAS-By Ellis Parker Butler

1t agin, and does it all over agin, and mebby he dies when he is ninety years old and has only got one leg of tn flea studied out. And then some other pro- lessor goes on where he Lift off, and takes up the next leg."
 And do they get paid for it?" asked Mrs. Muldoon, with surprise.
 Sure, they do!' said F'lannery. Good money, too. good specialist professor gifts more than a bod carrier. And 'tis right they should" he added, generously, flor tis by studyin' tn feet of f1eas and such they learn about germs, and how t take out your appendix, and Is marriage a failure?' and all that"
 "Ye dumfounder me, Mike Flannery," said Mrs. Muldoon. "Ye should have been one of them professors yourself. what with all the knowledge ye have. And ye think 'twould be a good thing t let tn little Frinchmin come and take a room?"
 '"Twould be an honor to shake him by tn hand" said Mike Flannery. And so the professor was admitted to the board and lodging of Mrs. Muldoon.
 The name of the professor who, after a short and unfruitful season at Coney Island, took lodging with Mrs. Muldoon, was Jocolino. He had shown his educated fleas in all the provinces of France, and in Paris itself, but he made mistake when he brought them to America
 The professor was small man and not talkative. He was, if anything, inclined to be silently moody, for luck was against him. He put his baggage in the small bedroom that Mrs. Muldoon allotted to him, and much of the time he spent in New York. He had fellow countrymen there. and he was trying to raise loan which which to buy canvas booth in which to show his educated insects. He received the friendly advances of Flan- nery and the other boarders rather coldly. He refused to discuss his speciality, or show Mike the toe of the left hind foot of flea through a telescope. When he remained |. home after dinner he did not sit with the other boarders on the porch, but walked up and down the walk. smok- ing innumersble cigarettes and thinking, and waving his hands In mute conVersa- tions with himself.
 .'T dunno what ais tn professor" said Mrs. Muldoon one evening when she and Flannery sat at the table after the rest had left It.
 Flannery hesitated.
 q would not like to say for sure man," he said slowly, "but I'm thinkin us loss he has had, maybe, that's preyin on his mind. Ever since ye told me, Missus Muldoon. that he was professor Of tn. educated neas. I have had doubts of tn. state of tn mind of tn professor. Tn sense of studyin' the flea, mann, l can understand that bein tn way all profess sors does these days, but 'tis not human f spend time givin' flea college edu- cation. Tn man that descinds t be tutor t a flea and t teach 1t all tn accom- plishments, from readin' ana wrltih | arithmetic and football, mebby, is pecui- far I will say he is dang peculiar, Mis- sus Muldoon. beggin' your pardon. IS there any coffee left in the pot, mam?'
 "A bit, MT. Flannery, an you're well come t it.
 man educate a horse, like that Dutchman was readin' about in tn Sunday paper tn other day." said Mike, "an' teachln IL t read an figger, an all that. An l can sec tn since of educatin' pig, as has been done, as you well know, man. TOT there be no doubt man can love horse or a pig as well as he can love ms own wife,
 An why not a fiea?" asked Mrs. Null doon. "Tis natural for an Irishman t love a pig, if 'tis pig worth lovin. and 'tis natural, I make no doubt, for Dutchman t love horse tn same way, and each t his own, as tn sayin Is, Mebby tn Frinch can learn t love tn fea in tn same way, MT. Flannery."
 'I say tn same, Missus Muldoon.' said Flannery, "an' I say tn professor has done that same, too. I say he has edu- cated tn flea, an mebby raised 1t from a baby an brung 1t from his native land, mann, an taught 1t an larned t love 1t, Yes, Missus Muldoon! But if tn educated horse or tn educated pig got loose would they be asy t find again or would they not, mann? An If tn profissor come t have grand love for tn flea he has raised by hand an taught like his own son, an tn flea run off from him. would tn educated flea be asy t find? Tn horse an tn pig is animals that Is not asy t conceal thimsilves Missus Null doom, an tn flea is hard to find, an whin ye have found him he is hard t put your thumb on. I'm thinkin' tn reason tn