The Abbeville press and banner. [volume] (Abbeville, S.C.) 1869-1924, 1908-10-21
The PeriIs of Riches.
By TOM p. MORGAN.

"Dese yuh 'saults an destinations
N de rich has done become plumb
,lahmin'!" peevishly announced a d.
apidated looking colored citizen not
ong ago. much as rs heered de
white folks 'spatiatin' on de subject,
never organized de heenyusness OBJ
t twell jes' lately-man KANT pre-
izely m a thing, sab, twell it's
.rung right home to him!
II takes a load OBJ chickens over
o Timpkinsville ap' sells 'em TO
low, dar you goes wild yo' 'sinnesa-
ions! What Offence do it make how
formulated dem fowls, Ions I had
EN-? In a 'scussion wild a gentleman
les stick to de bone oh extension, an
lon't git to fingin' no sarcastics
round loose! Mans had a rock
bounced on his head TO- jes' dat
iawtah foolishness befo' now! De
,'int am dat I got six dollahs an
lemty cents TO- dem chickens, an
.omin' home, well-uh, bless goodness,
/; done found a f'-dollar bill an a
nickel in de road! Sho'ly looked like
twuz uh7rainin' merricles dat day;
>ut right away after muh tribbyla.
ions begun! I hadn't much mo- dan
got back twell it 'peared like de whole
.ndurin' popularity was after me.
Mizzelaneous pussons dat I'd done
!o'got I eber owed 'em money come at
ne wild claws; niggers dat I skacely
znowed who de dickens dey was
topped onto me to borry muh wealth;
lie Puhsidin' Eldah,> de most slingin'
gentleman you eber seed in all OBJ
woes app'inted ways when dar's any,
hing in it TO- him, took muh trail
like a houn' dog an, hung on; an
len dat yallah-complected widdah
.ady dat rs been mo- or less shinin'
round-uh-well, 7 'knowledges dat
[ went too far wild her; 7 axed her did
she s'picion her last husbands best
coat could be cut down to fit me (de
late gentleman was sawtah broad
across de shouldahs, you knows), an
SIGH as dat, but she didn't p%recipitate
iudder at de time dan to threaten to
fling scaldin' watah on muh pusson-
Atty, an so I don't see how she fig
gered out dat she had any claims.
But widdah ladies amt got no reason,
you knows dat, sah!-dat was when
was po', but soon's I took rich. muh
suzz, she come at me wild a smile; an
len, when I lowed dat I could do
bettah widm uh money, she 'nounced
dat she was uh-gwine to shoot me
TO- trifin' wild her 'fections. An she
Amt none OBJ dem old-fashioned
ladies dat can't shoot straight,
needer!
dat was bad enough, goodness
knows, but when a young white doc
tab wanted to operate on me, uh-kaze
I looked to him like a man wild a
brain-stawm, dat settled 1t, an I put
TO- home. Yes, an den when I went
out to de barn to add up muh fnan.
Gals in secrecy, ding-busted II dat
mule OBJ mine-trifin' scoun'rel dat
|II'sbeen %uh-feedin' an uh.pomperin'
TO- 10 desc many years!-didn't haul
of an kick me in de face! OATS
what de varmint p'intedly done, sab;
an as I laid dar, dead to de world,
yuh come de Puhsidin' Eldah, a little
bit shawl OBJ bref, but still on de
trail, an stidder po'in' oil an wine
down muh t'roat he went th'oo muh
clothes an picked out de whole 'leven'
semty-N' TO- de chu'ch-buildin' fun.
DE only joyful thing bout de
whole business was dat de Puhsidin
Eldah swelled up to de rest OBJ dem
hungry people an talked 'em plumb
down an out-wouldn't be a Pub
sidif Eldah if he couldn't!-an' dey
has since left me alone. An den,
bless goodness, muh nose was nach'D
so fiat anyhow dat de mules kick
didn't degrade muh pussonal appear
ance to mount to nothin'.
"But, as 1 says in de beginnin', de
way things has been uh-goin' OBJ late
a plutocratter amt safe TO- a minute!
Jes' as soon as he finds hissef in de
p'session OBJ money he'd better whirl
in an take a good dose OBJ pizon an
be done wild his troubles. Yessan.
dat's what he better do!"-Woman's
Home Companion.