Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-11-27

1
Mrs. Knlcker-where do you keep
your auto? Mrs. Newrich--In a mirage,
lof course.--New York Sun.
Jimmie-My mas gone downtown to
man comes to the house to collect ours,
He-She Is such charmingiy limo
cent girl, isn't she7 She-0h. yes j; she
has taken years to acquire 1.-THE
Tatler.
Knicker-You know that speech is
given to man to conceal his thoughts.
Broker Well, penmanship does 1t even
better.-New York Sun.
She Cat the piano)-I presume you
are true lover of music, are you not?
lIe-Yes, l am; but pray don't stop
playing on my account
John. You yawned twice while we
were calling on that lady" well,
dear, you did not expect me to keep my
mouth closed all the time. did your
Magistrate l remember rightly,
this is not your first appearance In
court. Prlsoner-No, your honor; but
| hope you don't judge by appearances"
I've just figured out how the Venus
de Milo came to lose her armsg"
"How?" "She broke them of trying to
button her shirt waist up the back
Puck
| Weary Walker see 500 more men
has been t'rown out of work Tired
Iraveler-Gee Dere's gettin' to be
too much competition In our business:
| Puck.
'The seventeen mothers In the Wiz
lage mothers club agreed to decide by
ballot which had the handsomest baby"
I"Well who won itg'' Zach kid got
one vote"
Are marriages made In heaven"
"As TO that | can't say but do know
this much What is that, Peleg%'
".rhere'e lots of counting done In
church. w Washington Herald.
"This watch win last you for a life
time" remarked the jcweler. Mon
sensel" retorted the customer. Cant
see for myself now that It's hours are
numbered T'--London Spare Moments.
Man Ito boy at roadside) What
time is it? Boy-Purty near II o'clock.
Man-Thought 1t was more than II.
Boy Nope Never gets more than II
In this country Begins at 1 again..
Judge.
Bystander- Doctor, what do yon
think OF this mans injuries7 Doctor
(of irish extraction) Two OF them are
undoubtedly fatal; but ms for the rest
of them. time alone can teIl--Boston
Transcript
You have new housemaId. see.
Mrs. Youngwife" Eyes, got her about
week ago" How do you like herr"
VERY much indeed She let's me do
almost as | like about the house. -
London Tit-Bits
what diagnosis did the doctor make
Of your wifes illnessY' said she Is
suffering from oyerwork." "Is that
soY' Yes; he looked at her tongue
and reached that decision Immediate
| ly."-Detrolt Free Press.
Mr.. Newwed You never call me pet
names now unless You want something.
Before marriage 1t was different. Mrs.
Newwed no. Bef0re marriage
called you pet names because I wanted
you.-London Gentlcwoman.
Jimmie. your face Is dirty again this
morning." exclaimed the teacher.
| what would you say IL I came to
| al 10 xsgft N ar4 Pa
Huh grunted Jimmie, I'D be too
periite to say anythingT Circle.
Mother Gin very low yoice) Tom
my your grandfather is very Ill. Can't
you say something nice to cheer him up
| bit2 Tommy lin an earnest yoice)--
Grandfather, wouldn't you Ike to have
soldiers at your funeral T'--London Tit
Bits
I'm sure" said the areveier, ''tbc
| public would be interested to know the
secret Of your success 'Well, young
man." replied the captain OF industry.
"the secret of my success has been my
ability to keep 1t secret Catholic
Standard and Times.
I'm afraid I'm catching cold" said
kloseman, trying to get some medical
advice free. Every once In while
| feel m itching in my nose, and then
sneeze. What would you do in case
like that, doctorT well" replied DIR.
Sharpe, Il guess I'd snecze. too
The mother of conscientious little
miss, wishing to rid her of the fear OF
some cows in field through which
she mad to pass, told her to go right
by and pretend she didn't see them.
But, mamma" protested the small
maid, wouldn't that be deceiying the
cows?p
How did those two ever come to
marry each otherY' well, she was
the only woman he ever knew who
| tyould listan IN hia 0pacdofpg nypr five