davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
How II tlapp.nsd

A certain member Of the fashionable
metropolitan and Chevy Chase clubs al
the national capital has all his life
borne many quips because of his OK.
ceedingly dlininutive stature.
Inst spring the diminutIve clubman
took unto himself wife. the daughter
or q well known federal official. who IS
said 10 be as witty as her father.
Mrs. Blank" said Il friend one day
recently, Il have just seen your hus.
band for the first time since his mar.
riage. Do you know, he seems shorter
than ever"
why notf" asked the wife. with n
smile. Hes married and settled
down."-ITarpcr's Weekly.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
LINES 10 LOUISA.

irhc Same being our forty-seventh mai,
who has gone Go smash clscwherc.l
\ week ago we had O maid ~
Whose memory win never fade.
You should have seen Louisa!
She piled the plates OH which wc dined
So very high they called to mind
The leaning tower OF Pisa
At other times they did not lean
When carried by our kitchen queen
Whose other name was Dennis).
lut rose as straight MS spire or tree.
And then her model seemed TO DO
Tho lcampanile. Venice.
Tho leaning tower was first 10 no.
And when II hit the iioor below
The havoc was hppnliingl
At onco another crash occurred,
And then. alas, we knew We heard
Tho campanile fa.lingl
I zee It's shattered remnants yet.
'rwnE half our wedding dinner set
Tho other half waa PISA
Ny chatclaine her protest filed.
Pray leave she cried. zero 20 wild,
For Pelion on Ossa piled
Would bc your noxt. Loulsai'
Earle Hooker Eaton In ilhrper's Weekly
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
THE Old FLAG FOREVER.

She's up there-old Glory-where light
nings are sped.
che dazzies the nations with rippies OF
red.
A"a shell wave for us living or droop
Ger us dead
TIE flag OF our country forever.
She's UP there--old Glory. How bright
the stars stream
And the stripes. like red signals OF liberty.
CLEAN.
And we dare for her living or dream the
last dream
Meath the nag OF our country forever,
She's W ,here-oid Giosy-no ,yrunt dealt
scars.
No blur an her brightness. no stain on
her starsl
The brave blood OF heroes hath crimsoned
her bars.
She's The flag of our country forever,
Atlanta Constitution.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Modern Arehaeoloov

Pat was having mn argument with q
friend who was we'll posted in anclen,
history.
How foolish OF you 70 contend tina,
tile ancient Irish We're more advanced
than the ancient Egyptians said Ills
friend, why. the Egyptians must
have even understood electricity. us
wires corresponding TO our own telc.
graph wires have been found In
Egypt"
That may be-" answered Pat, "but
the fact that no wires have been found
In Ireland proves beyond n doubt that
the Irish were in the habit Of using
wireless telcgraphy." Philadelphia
Ledger
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Tho FLAG Was There.

4 young mother had hnbit of air
Ing the hahy's clothes at the window.
Her husband believed that If she saw
the practice ms others saw It she would
desist. lie directed their walk one day
so as to bring the nursery window Into
iull view. Stopping abruptly. he point
ed TO the baby's dress tapping uncon-
sciously In the breeze and asked sar-
castically. My dear. what is that dis
played In our Window"
That? Why. that is the flag OF our
mion"-I.adies' Home Journal.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Shakespeare on Love.

SiaNeSPSsFo OF Love-
They love least that let men know
tlieir love.
Too light winning makes the prize
light.
To bo wise and love exceeds mans
might.
At lovers perjurIes they say Jove
laughs.
BY love the young and tender wit IS
turned TO folly.
Love sought is good. but given IN
sought is better.
There's bcggary in the love that can
be reckoned.
One who loved not wisely, but TOO
we'll
Base men. being in love. have then
q nobility In their natures more than
is native to them
Love that has nothing but beauty 10
keep 1t in health is short lived.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Accounts For Il.

1.-THE star actress In the play was n
discovery by the manager. He found
her working in q laundry"
"Thnt accounts for IT,"
Accounts for whntf' ~
"Thc way she mangles her part."-
Baltimore American.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Prejudice.

Robert. this spelling paper is very
poor" complained the small boys
teacher. Nearly every word Is mark.
edwrong." Is s.ss;-,es3a. it,
ut wouldn't have been SO bad" pro,
tested Robert but Annie corrected
my paper and she's mad at me. and
for every little letter TINT got wrong
she crossed out the whole word."-Lip-
nincotts
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
He Wanted a Rsst.

There was not even standing room In
tie car. but one more passenger. a
young woman, wedgcd her way inside
the doorway. Each time the car took
a sudden lurch forward she fell help
lessly back into the arms of large.
comfortable man on the back plat.
form. The third time it happened he
said quietly, hadn't you better stay
here :"--Ladies' Home Journal.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
I bout 4. ?, Prescriptions

Should syod have prescription to
be nlled We would like 10 tell You
a,nut OUR prescription department
we use highest grads standard drugs
and chemicals only, such names as
Sq'libb, Merck, Sharp & Dohmc,
Parke, Davis and jWyeth are on our
Flnid Extracts. Elixirs ana Chomi-
Gals. All prescriptions put up in our
store are compounded by graduate
pharmacist fill registered in this
isiateYailf You let rs have your pre-
scriptionf you have every safeguard
the law can place around their COM
pounding, as well as our own guaran-
tee of the earnest efforts of compe-
tent men in tho work. s.
If you phone us. we will send for
your prescriptions aud deliver them.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Tho Poet ExoIains.

"But." said the beautiful girl. "you
don't look the least bit like poet"
II realize that" replied the bard.
but can easily explain. know n
barber who is willing TO take my
books In payment for professional serv-
Ices. Chicago Record-Herald
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
. The
Scrap Book
The
PciIy's REASONING.

A lady owned q parrot addicted to
swearing. Whenever Polly forgot him
SELF his mistress would souse him in
handy pail of water as punish.
ment. One day chicken fell in q
rain barrel ana was nearly drowned
The lady placed it behind the stove on
rug until 1t should recover. Polly,
after eying II critically for Il moment
OF two. blnrted out. you've been
swearing again. you little fool"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Bathing Under Difficulties.


An American doctor built an elegant
home. His bathroom was exceptional
ly beautiful being OF white marble
with silver hardware. y music box
WAS concealed in the room. After
completion of the home an Englishnan
came TO visit the doctor.
After showing his home TO the Eng.
lishman the doctor remembered the
fondness English people have for the
bath and escorted his guest to the
bathroom and while there turned on
The music box. wishing to give his
guest pleasant surprise as he bathed.
Then he left his friend in the bath
room.
About an hour later the Englishman
Joined his host in the drawing room.
The doctor asked what his guest
Thought of the bathroom The Eng
lishman replied. "It is beautiful-beau
tiful."
Well" said the doctor, chow did
you like my music box?"
"rhe only thing it played was God
Save the King and had to stand up
the whole time was trying to bathe.' /"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
In It's Native Element.

His clothes were spotted with dirt
and grease, but bright bunch OF How
e"s adorned the lapel of his coat.
What do YOU think of thisi" he
asked. proudly tapping his bouquet
Where do you think got it?"
Don't know" admitted his friend.
unless Why. maybe 1t grew there"
-Everybody's.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
As Times Chance.

politics is getting 10 he wonderfully
Interesting" said the observer.
Yes" answered Senator Sorghum
ut Is mighty Interesting: but. between
you and me. II isn't near so much OF an
Investment as it used TO be."-Washing
ton Star.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
NORFOLK and ATLANTIC TERMINAL CO
Newport Mews---NoFfok Ferry
EFfscTvED DEC t. OF. SUBJECT TO CHANGE wlrHoUrNorcE

Leave Norfolk--6.2o n. NJ, 7,ao u,
m. $500 a. IN. 1910 n. m. 1900 m,
l:3o y. $500 p. M. 1890 y. M. 6:0O
p. m. T,a0 y, IN, II.
Leave Pine Beach Plcr-G:O0 n. M,
200 n, M. $40 n, M, $3.50 n. NJ. 1l:vO
a. m, l2:30 D. M. 200 p. M, $3.50
y. m. $500 D. M, $50 y. m. s. 90 u. m.
Leave Shipyard, Newport News.
0:lN a. IN, 7;l5 n. M. SAG a. H.,
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Useless.

81 see you've bought typewriter"
said Mccall.
Yes replied Mugley. land the
bloomin' things n fake"
whats wrong with III"
"Why. 1t can't spell any better than
/ o.'-Philadelphia Press.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
As She Understood II.

Mr.. Sttbb with illustrated weekly
Martha. here is picture. entitled
Docking ali Ocean Greyhound"
Mrs Stubb daring uW-I just don't
want TO see 1t. think there should be
law against clipping or poor dogs
tail.-Detroit Tribune.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
The N;hh,sr.

Hiram Ryetop-so the checker club
argued here, on the Pnnnmn canal. hey
How long did they argue. Jeff?
The Storekeeper-Lcts see. Half a
wedge Of cheese. peck Of prunes, pint
Of dried peaches and pound of crack
ers. !.sfHf
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Best For Him.

"Now," said Professor Cooley.
these exercises should perfect you In
the rudiments at least. Memorlzc the
rules and
But" interrupted the rich mans
son. what do YOU consider the best
exercise of memory?"
Remember the poorl'
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Life,s Sorrows.

Bob Ito Bessie, = 1t seems rather
strange. Bessie. that when didn't
want to Kiss you yon didn't MUD, but
now that you are old enough 10 make
me want to you won't let me.-New
York Life. '
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Too Soon.

THAT artist is real genius" re-
marked the admirer
NO" answered Miss Cayenne. "He
can't be real genius. or people would
not be saying so many complimentary
things about him before he Is dead
Washington Star.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Lincoln TO Mcclellan.

President Lincoln once wrote the fol-
lowing letter 10 General Mcclellan
wien the latter was In command OF
the army. General Mcclellan. us is
well known, was so careful not to
make mistakes that he made little
Roadway:
My Dear Mcclellan:
III you don't want to use the army.
should like TO borrow It for awhile. Yours
respectfully, A. LINCOLN.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Two HalNes.

"Looks count n lot" remarked slopay.
about half the good get from dinner
Is the look OF things"
"All right. Mr.. Slopay." replied Mrs.
Borden. We'll just give you two
looks in futurc."- Kansas City Times.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09

l0:15 n. M. 11:45 n. M, 1:15 p. m.
2;45 u. m, ISIS D. m. 5;45 p. m, 7.t6
p. m. S.45 u. III.
Leave ivy Avenue Picr--G:sO n. M,
1880 n m. 300 Il. IN. 1880 Il. M,
l2:OO m. 1880 p. m. 800 p m, 4.30
p. M. 600 p. M. 1850 p. m. $500 p. M.
y, G. HATHAWAY, Gen, Mgr, wM.
Il. ALLEN Gen. supt. Rys
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
The Late stnxAr.

Etliel--But, papa, don't SEQ why
You should object TO Percy Pink. He
Is such retiring young man.
Papa-H'm. When does he retreat
sunrise? Chicago News
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
catchina tha Waxfarer.

Coggcr-The good parson told me
should always be trying to lift ur my
fellow man.
Motorwood-Wha did you answer?
Cogger-l told him / would put II
scoop on my automobile at the earliest
opportunity Chicago News.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Righteous Fellow.

"Come along with me and so skat-
ing"
How dare you nsk me to go skat-
Ing on the Sabbath? Besides. there's
II poker game on over at Gaiiey's
house."-Cathollc Standard and Times.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
At Close Range.

NJ CIose Range.
Sergeant Murphy had squad of re-
cruits on the rife range. He tried
them out on the 500 yard range. but
none of them could hit the target.
Then he tried them on the 300. 200 and
100 yard ranges in turn. but with no
letter success. When they had all
missed on the shortest range. lie
scratched his head and regarded them
perplexedly. Suddenly he Strengthened
up.
Squad, attintion!' he commanded.
Elk bayonetsl Charger = Every
body's.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Fully Occupied.

> creditor-l say. old man. why dons
you get out OF debt?
Debtor-Haven't time. 1t keeps me
busy getting In Detroit Tribune.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
As a chanae.

Algy-Perhaps you are right, Miss
Tnrtun. but sometimes l cawn't help
thinking
Miss Tnrtun-Don't try to help 1t.
Mr.. Slimpayte. The exercise will do
you good.-Denver News.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
rheir nusiness TO ent n.

~ See said the facetious- guest to
the hotel clerk. that each of your por-
tiers has the prevailing trouble"
what prevailing troublet"
Got the grip Baltimore American
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Tho Acc of Discretion.

AT Just what period would you
place the attainment OF discretion 2"
asked friend of Speaker Cannon.
Generally speaking" answered I'm.
Gle Joe. II should say that young fell
low has reached the age of discretion
when he removes from his walls the
pictures of actresses and substitutes
therefor portrait of his wealthy bach
clor uncle."-Lippincott's.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
Tho Only Perfec. Couple.

She was widow. and her second
venture was wldower He hadn't
much to say in response when his wife
he'd n great deal to remind him or. es-
peclally when she compared him with
her former. One night he went to
sleep while she was telling him the
old, old story. Along in the middle OF
the night his wife was awakened by
his uneasy turning
"John." she said, ARE you awnke?"
YES, Susan"
whats the matterr
II was just thinking IL your first had
married my first they would have been
the only perfect couple on earth"
Then he went to sleep again.--Lip-
pincott's.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
ObviouslX.

III the famous Annnias club gave
social functions. wonder what would
be the favoritc instrument OF enter
tninment."
Naturally the Tyre Houston Post
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
a Historic Pig.


II was a single vote cast in n town
election in Rhode Island. in 1911.
which led to the declaration of war
with England In 1912 and later result
ed in the election of General Jackson
as president.
In the spring Of 1911. at the annual
election in Rhode Island. In one OF the
towns the voting between the parties
had been for years very close. not
more than majority of one or two
votes. The polls closed at G o'clock,
and Federal farmer. delaying voting
until late In the afternoon. hurriedly
crossed his fields 10 reach the polls.
In passing his last fence lie Sound
one % his valuable pigs fust between
the rails ana stopped to get Il out.
Succeeding finally. he started on n
run for the voting place. but when
within 100 feet of It the town clock
struck @. and the polls closed without
his vote.
The result was that Democrat. or
war representative. from that town
was elected by one vote. When the
general assembly met few weeks Ia.
ter n Democratic, or war, United
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09

Daily Service Steamers leave Old
Point every other dry tcven dates.
month OF Noyember). Mt . q. nj.
Fer information apply 10
j.. N. Smith. Agent Union Ticket
Office. Chamberlain Hotel. O,d Point,
Va. sy M Gti3fi
p. NJ Pritchard. Gen. Agent. 5no
!, Williams, city Pass. Agent. corner
CRANKY and Plume Sts.. Norfolk.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09
TRANSPORTATION GUIDE.
Chesapeake & Ohio Ry

Fast Trains to Richmond and tho
West.
Leave Newport Nuws 1905 a. m.,
6:25 y. m.i-t rs
Local Trains to Richmond.
ego 4. M. a:i5 p. III.
Trains arrive Newport News, 10:0U
II. M, 1885 a. M. b:35 p. III, and 1870
y. III. ~ 1S fe
Steamer Service for Norfolk.
Leave Newpor. News l0:t9 a., M.
$40 y. lii.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09

Mistress = Bridget, have you &C.
mented the handle on TO the water jug
which you dropped yesterday?
Bridget started TO. mum, but
Sropped the cement bottle.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-02-09

She-This wine doesn't seem 10 so
to your head rs quickly rs IL does to
mine.
Ire-No. That is probably because
1t has farther TO 20.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-30
POLICE COURT NOTES.

Arthur Tresvan was arrested today on
complaint of his wife, who alleged that
her lord and master violated the Sabbath
by striking her in the face. Tresvan will
face an assault charge in police court this
evening.
]. c. Swihart was arrested today on
charge of conducting a disorderly house
at $50 Kansas avenue.
Tom Stump today fell into the tolls of
the law on a charge of maintaining a nui-
sance at his place on the avenue between
First and Second streets
William and Allen Jackson, both color
ed and brothers We're arrested today on
charge of vagrancy. William alleged that
he had been working at Bonner Springs,
and that he was merely passing through
Topeka. 1t is likely that he will tarry
awhile.
Mrs. Maggie Stewart. who was arrested
and fined in police court last November
on charge of maintaining a nuisance, and
who appealed the case to the district
court, today received the sad news that
the decision of Judge Urmy had been
confirmed. She was fined 500 at the time
and sentenced to 80 days in Jail The costs
now amount to $50. She was taken in
charge by the city authorities today
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-30
KANSAS TO GET $4,000
Result of Claim For Money Raised
During War.

Washington, March 30.-John c.
Nicholson, state agent for Kansas has
effected a settlement with the govern
ment of claim growing out of the
civil war by which the state of Kansas
will, at this session of congress, re-
ceive $4,000.
At the beginning of the war the
government, in its efforts to raise
money, assured Kansas, in common
with other states, that it would reim-
burse the state for any amount of
money 1t raised.
Proceeding upon this guarantee, the
state voted 100000 in bonds, but had
to sell them at a discount and receiv-
ed only $4,000 in cash for them. At
the same time it was compelled to pay
10 per cent interest to the holders.
About 1880 the government repaid
Kansas the amount the state had sold
its bonds for. Mr.. Nicholson had
been threshing out the claim for the
past three years with the auditor for
the war department, and only yester-
day got a settlement
He claimed discount and interest,
which amounted to $4,000, and the
secretary of the treasury will certify
the amount to the congress. The item
will be included in the sundry civil
bill
This will probably be the last war
claim collected by the state of Kan
sas, and as that state has no war
monument, movement will be start
ed to devote it to the efoction of a
soldiers memorial in the capitol
grounds at Topeka.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-30
CAUSTlC REMARKS.
On the Floor of the House on SUBJECT
of Forest Reserves.

Washington, March 30.-In the
house TODAY Representative Smith
0Cal.l charged United States Forester
Pinchot with manipulating the FOREST
reservation including owens river IN
California in the interest OF the city
of Los Angeles against the holders OF
prior water rights. While ne was
speaking Mr.. Pollard OF NEBRASKA
Consulted Mr.. Pinchot over the tele-
phone and when he returned to the
chamber said that Pinchot had told
him that all the California delegation
including Mr.. Smith had requested
him to make the reservation in the in
terest of Los Angeles. This statement
Mr. Smith vehemently denied as did
also Messrs. Kahn. KnoWland, Need
ham and Englebright.
Following heated remarks by Mr.
Gaines (Tenn.) against the lumDer
trust Mr.. Mondell caustically said that
that gentleman. for one who had so
rarely attended meeting of the COM
nittee on public lands seemed to be
well versed on the subject.
This remark nettled Mr.. Gaines con-
siderably. Shaking his finger at Mr..
MondeI, Mr.. Gaines declared that he,
nevertheless, closely followed the leg
islation the people were demanding.
Its enough he said, "to wear any
man out to keep up with these land
frauds
The clause was stricken out on a
point of order.
Mr.. Monden contended that it was
new legislation in a new appropriation
bill to provide for the extension of
forest reserves by the purchase of
land or rights therein found.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-03-30
DR.. HIP. CROCKETT DEAD.
Death Caused by Peritonitis Following
Attack of Appendicitis.

Dr. Harry Paul Brockett, the youngest
son of Mr.. and Mrs. F. T. Crockett of 9Ol
Morris avenue, died at 7:15 this morning
at Christ's hospital of appendicitis. COM
plicated with peritonitis.
Dr. Brockett was one of three brothers.
all of whom are physicians, DR.. w. T.
Brockett of Mayetta and DR.. F. P. Brock
EFT of Lebo, Kansas, all of whom are
graduates of the Kansas Medical college.
The deceased was graduated in 1906 and
was one of the brightest members of the
vern, Kansas, where he engaged in the
practice of his profession He was born
at Cottonwood Falls on May 2, 1888, but
lived nearly all of his life in Topeka grad
uating from the Topeka schools and then
taking a medical course. He was married
in 1906 to Miss Lillian Hendricks. He was
taken sick about ten days ago and was
brought to Topeka for ain operation, but
was too sick to be operated upon. Flu
neral services will be held on Wednesday
at 2 o'clock from the family residence on
Morris avenue.