Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-05-24

seem
seeming nonchalance she passed to
OF carven box trees. She came like
a sunbeam. with the sunlight making her
beautiful hair to seem like leaping flame
as she moved. for she had taken on her
hat which she swung idly by the strings
---, eT.pped over the close-cut grass,
trilling forth a little song. She strolled
all round the garden built beside the RIB
of rock that rose from the sward. and
from whose heart gushed the stream OF
bright water which rippied down the
white-paved rivulet, which led 1t to the
rose garden. At the fountain she stopped
to feed the gold fishes. which came fear
lessly to snatch greedily the crumbs from
between her fingers. And then gay and
debonnaire. blooming and radiant. though
with heart that felt like lead even whlie
II beat like a trip hammer. she entered
by the French window the drawing room.
where her aunt sat placidly working at
some of her clothing-club undertakings.
The nervous strain from which she sur
fered was relaxed. be 1t never so little,
and what was lost of this strain became a
strength added to her natural self-controi.
Her voice rang truly, and not with the
false note which she feared when she hrst
thought of meeting any member OF her
household as she answered her aunt's
query as to where she had been:
Right through the woods. auntie. dear
/ have been out quite a long time. It is
delightful under the trees up on the hill.
where there is a cool breeze.
Il almost envy you. my dear" said the
elder lady IT went out for while. but /
was only in the rock garden and In the
FIR wood There wasn't q breath of air.
and the heat seemed to rise out of the
grounds damp. moist heat with the
smell of decaying leaves. 1t is certainly
not cool down here. even in the shade of
the trees. But hadn't you better get
ready for lunch? 1t is just on the stroke
of two
Luncheon was a sore trial. To eat at
all in her condition of mind was a sort
OF martyrdom.
The day wore on for Stephen in tor
turing obedience to exact routine. She
dared not change from her usual attitude
or her way of doing things: she dared
not hurry lest haste of any kind should
evoke comment even curiosity. Ste
phen. however. had passive as well as
active courage: she could endure. And at
length the long day and evening came to
an end. When her maid had left her
and she had completed her toilet for the
night she softly locked the door. a thing
she had never in her life done before.
And then for the first time in all that
long agonizing day, she breathed freely.
The reaction after a little began to trou-
bic her more than the high tension and
the suspense had done. but after while
there came third mood, one of stern In
trospection. of Rhadamanthine self-ex-
animation. Of merciless self-reproach. All
the spiritual suffering Of the day seemed
to become insignificant when compared
with the torture which she now endured.
Shame seemed to let loose upon her soul
all It's torments. All the pride of her ma
ture. all the self-suppression OF her life.
all her high hopes and ambitions seemed
to turn to opposing forces to rend her.
She could not endure herself. Even her
own image reflected in her mirror became
in q sense loathsome. With an impulse
which did not give her time to think she
blew out her candles. and for little
while found relief in the dark. For in the
room II was now pitch dark.
Normanstand was an old-fashioned
house. and its ways were OF past gen.
Grafton. Among them was the habit Of
closing windows and shutters and pulling
heavy curtains across.
The relief of darkness did not last long!
Stephen had lain down on the sofa-she
could not endure at present the idea of
getting into bed. and as she lay the dark
ness itself became quick with fancies.
Every torturing event and feeling and
thought of the day seemed to take shape.
she had not slept for two nights and
though she was strong. still she was only
q girl. and the weaknesses of both her
sex and her age were against her. Her
heart began to beat wildly. She covered
with her hands her burning eyes and
cheeks. But nothing could shut out the
haunting memories of that awful time
under the trees on the hilltop. Again and
again came back to her the shameful mo-
ments of waiting for the footsteps that
did not come: the agony of trying to utter
the shameful words OF proposal that de-
spite all her efforts would not come as
she intended them.
How the hours of that night passed
Stephen never knew. never could recall
Wave after wave of despair. of shame of
apprehension seemed to roll over her.
each leaving her in poorer condition to
battle with the coming one. At last she
could bear the darkness no longer She
sprang from the sofa and. going over to
the window. raised the bottom of the
blind and looked out. There was a mo-
mentary cessation OF pain: the mere
beauty and peacefulness OF the scene was
a spiritual anodyne. The soft light of the
high-hung moon bathed the spreading
lawn and garden in a silver glory. The
woods beyond rose. an undulating sea of
greenery. whose outline was broken here
and there by the spreading branches Of
some tree more stately than his fellows.
The leaves. moving in the high exposure
where the night wind had full play.
seemed as though here the light was of
gold. Her eyes unconsciously followed
the outline of the woods. till they lit on
the high line OF Caester hill
As her eyes took in the spot she shud-
dered as though she had touched some
thing loathly. Letting the blind slip
back into its place. she stood still and
silent. though waiting for some new.
overwhelming. irresistible terror to assail
her.
How long she stood there she knew not
BY slow degrees she became conscious
that TIE easements were being lined with
streaks of gray: the more penetrative
light of the day was upon her. From the
woods without came the solitary pipe of
some bird more eager alert than its
fellows: then more piping. till the woods
became awake with clangor. and the
myriad sounds Of the coming day became
merged in the hum of the dawn.
With great effort Stephen resained
her self-control She felt that she must
not be discovered by her maid in any un-
usual condition. new day was before
her. and she would need all her coura ge
and all her ability to face II. She must
school herself 10 the obedience to the rou-
tine which had been her external habit
for here only lay security from prying
eyes. She would have given worlds tc
have been able TO weep. but this solace
was denied her. Her burning eyes might
fashion she unlocked her door and got
into bed There for hours she lay wait
ing waiting for the day and what II
might bring forth.
Mechanically she saw things change
The windows became sharper and sharpe,
oblcngs: the darkness of the room turned
~ sSlvery gray. through which familiar
objects one by one, swan into view
Then the silver became gold. and there
was red tinge round the easement
edges. The day had come.
Breakfast went on in its usual course