The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-12-19
IN POLICE COURT

During my vacation last summer" began Lord Baber, when he opened Police Court yesterday afternoon, ,"I had just gone down the Nile as far as Lake Victoria and was thinking of crossing over to the other side and taking a trip along the Congo , | Bite It of, bite 1t offP' interrupted Sir Miles, when 70 so down the Nile you hit the Mediterranean. Take fresh start"
 "well said" answered the court, "yes. we got across from the Nile by a portage over the Mountains of the Mdon---"
 wont go" Sir Miles broke in again, the Mountains of the Moon were on the map up to 1887. when 1t was found they didn't exist. Start again."
 "say. are you telling this story. or am IT" the court asked Indignantly.
 You are telling 1t; I'm just acting as brakeman"
 "As I was saying. we crossed to the Congo and had supper with pr. Liv- ingston- ,. "If the court please" Sir Miles fal- tered, "Dr. Livingston had been dead some twenty years.'
 "oh. it wasn't the same pr. Liv- ingston. this was his son." .'T can't see that, pr. Livingston was bachelor
 "weIl. he said his name was LIv ingston-confound It'll Don't inter rupt me again. We finished supper and had lighted our pipes-'' T thought you only smoked cigar ettes."
 we had just lighted our pipes and were sitting in our Morris chairs----''
 Morris chairs in camp in South Africa? Whewls
 "what's 1t to you if we dld have 'em? We were sitting in our Morris chairs. and had just stretched back to be comfortable after $ long days walk---'
 Thought you had been in a boat"
 Hang the boati I stretched back and was blowing rings when I chanced to look up. and there seated on the branches just above my head was an enormous. bull elephant"
 "An elephant up Q tree? Now, if the court please, I object"
 Didn't see him. think I'm blind7 The elephant leaned down. and with one of his enormous hands snatched--"
 T object. your honor. object. the subject Is irrelevant"
 "Twan't no irrelevant--I said it was an eiephant.e Can't you thear7"
 well have it your way. I suppose the elephant asked you for match did he?'
 Miles, you surprise me, aAIa he
 "Fire away. but I wish Teddy was here.''
 Teddy who?"
 "Ted RosenfeI, the guy in the ala- baster shack in Washington"
 Per tBacchoi Pssst Pahi Think he is the only one who can talk about things?? Keep quiet and listen. The elephant reached down and snatched with his huge hands at my watch fob, but in Q twinkling aeized him by the arm, and throwing the weight of my back and shoulders. in the lurch. huIled----"
 "one moment, if your honor please. there are several prisoners who are waiting to be tried, let's try them"
 All right. but did want to tell about that elephant so badly. Whats the first caseT'
 Ira Hodges, a negro. getting mon ey under false pretenses"
 ''Whatja do, nigger?"
 I'm guilty. your honor, I did get the money that way. phoned to gro- cery stores in the same way that was described in my case q few days ago. All ask is for a fresh start; be as lSh4ohS WASn me SS yOu oAh' H Bo- ing to be a better man when finish"
 That's the trouble with you nig- gers, the nomept you are taught any thing that you could do good with you turn 1t to evil use. You people have not the moral strength to stand the weight of knowledge. But slnce you say you want fresh start I'll be easy on you. It is my custom alwaya to make a fine five times the amount stolen. but I'll only quadruple 1t in your cases