The Washington herald., 1908-02-23
WOMAN ABOUT TOWN
FRAILTIES AND FoIBLES OF HER SEX

Of the board Of trade. or something like
that. is not longer an Only child. and
new sister was extremely welcome 10 her.
for she had worried over the lack OF one
for long time. When she was last in
Washington. she heard that a new baby
had come 70 the milkmans home. Very
early next morning-I suppose she was
five or six years old then-she crept out
to the back door 10 wait for the fortunate
father.
You have a baby al your house,
haven't you?" she asked him when he
appeared.
Yes" he said a little girl
''Dc you want TO sell it@' asked Anna.
Well. don't know" replied the milk
man. much amused
Anna took him into her confidence.
-Tll tel you how It IS" she said. I'm
trying to make arrangements with Jesus
to send US one for nothing. but il He
won't-I've been praying quite while.
and He hasn't yet-Td like 10 buy yours"
70 "eHlcines OnAy DIAGNOSIS.
Talking about babies reminds me Of one
a physician know was called 70 attend
while he was spending his vacation in tie
Pennsylvania mountains last summer. II
was a brand-new baby. and I think the
doctor told me il had a form OF Iockjaw
not uncommon among infants. though I
never heard any one say so before. The
grandmother had charge OF the case. and
she hadn't an especially high opinion OF
city medicine men.
Doctor. said she, we didn't send for
you TO doctor this baby. for we have
given it every known remedy. even 20
three drops of its own blood. All we
want you 10 do is 10 tell Us what's the
matter with it,
TacffuI Van COnceaIS Her Age.
The lady with whom 1 board saws
the woman who has never married, is
the dearest old soul on earth. Her only
defect is that she knows my exact age.
I trust I'm not ashamed OF being the age
I am. but. really. there are some things
one prefers 70 maintain a certain reti-
cence concerning I've come 10 the age
when birthdays aren't things I care 10
have publicly noticed. and without vanity
I think I may say that most Of the people
who know me think I'm at least young
enough 10 wear pink-at least they did
think so TIL my landlady invited a lot OF
them 10 supper on my blrthGsy. last
Tuesday 7 was charmed with her atten-
tion iii We stFeamed out into the dining
room. There on the table was The biggest
birthday cake / ever saw. and Il had
candies stuck al over it-a thousand OF
them. il seemed 10 ne at my first horror
stricken glance. For a moment nobody
said anything. The revelation OF those
candles was too awful Then man I've
always respected began 10 count them. I
can tell YOU his stock went down mighty
fast with ne TWenty-seven, twenty
eight he said. and steeled myself 10
hear the other eight called ont. Twenty
nine he said. and then. with a glance
around that closed the incident he added.
And a few more II I'd known a man
could be so tactful I'm not az all sure
shouldn't have married one years ago
but that mans one in ten thousand
Sausage Twists Her ADiaphraEm."
Lucinda. who has done my friend Juita-S
washing these past ten years. is so DELI
cate that. as she says herself IF YOU
looks At me I faiuts'' We've never seen
her faint. but then we've been careful
never 10 look AT her very hard. We do
know that there isn't a disease YOU can
mention that Lucinda hasn't reyeled IN
at one time or another Lately Julla's
mother was III. and wien Lucinda came
70 bring back the clean clothes she asked
about the lady's condition, even before
: n ss1Tr
Inns are so iil made that you can't look
at them without having them get fun OF
holes Looks are very potent for evil
in Lucindas mind)
-Hows your ma2" she asked Julia.
she's better" said Julia. She had
severe pains right here indicating the
spot Or Blank says the diaphragm
was at fault"
Don't talk. chile"' exclaimed Lucinda
Il knows jus what il is. ny Father, !
should say I 90. It's ter fble. I never
knew the name Of IL before, but I always
has the diaphragm every time I eats
sausage"
His Mother sleeps at Home.
Ny young friend Jack ad-nires his moth
er tremendously. and reseuts anv critf-
cism OF her. There's really nothing 10 be
said against her. SO far as that goes.
With two children at home. it's only nat
ural that she should belong 10 half a
dozen card clubs. and. OF course. these
take up her time. not 70 mention the IN
dubbed card parties that are always hap
pening. An old friend went 10 see her
one day not long ago. and Jack came 10
the door
Mother isn't at home" he said.
Good gracious said the visitor. This
makes four times I've been here TO see
her and she hasn't been at home. She's
never here.
-oh, yes, she is" said Jack, sturdy.
'She-well. she always sleeps here
Lack of Title Worries Aunt.
The fact that I'm not what she calls
a professor has always worried the pious
soul OF my aunt" says the real estate
man. She's never talked TO me much
about il, but she has hinted at the risks
l am running in ways that only a person
OF her delicate tact would think up. Re
Gently cousin OF mine. her favorite
nephew. died, and my aunt sent me the
news by letter. Nv cousin was superin-
tendent OF the Sunday school, and was IN
All ways model young man. Aunt dwelt
on his perfections.
We feel his loss deeply she wrote.
but We are at peace concerning him,
knowing what he was
And in a postscript she added:
Just think how awful we'd feel now
II il had been you
Just Out of Prognosis.
When people in our part Of the coun-
try select family physician. they stick
TO him., says Dr.. John Matthews. OF
Illinois. who is visiting friends here. If
he goes away. they won't call in some