The Republican. [volume] (Mountain Home, Idaho) 1903-1909, 1908-07-11

complete tour through all the
rooms or apartments of the royal pal
ace near Madrid involves 100 mile
trip. covering six days time.
Your son joined a college fraternity.
didn't he?" NO; 1t was tripping at the
top of five flights of stairs that laid
him up that way."-Puck.
Benevolent Old Gentleman-My man,
are you looking for work?
Tramp Not If can find anything
else to do. Pathfinder
"Mulrooney, wud yez like a drink
Thanks. Casey. ! wud"
$50 wud l."
| Then the battle began
Did you ever notice the peculiar
odor of new paper money!"
mot exactly but I've noticed the
cent Cleveland Plain Dealer.
rs the plot Of your new drama taken
from life?'
| III, yto, llC nCIu LiCCtS iio uSueA a.
motor car wreck. "-Lustige Batter.
Jones-Pm going to marry an Eng.
lish girl Bones-You will never again
hear me say the English have no ap-
probation Of a joke.-Town Topics.
The man who goes where he Is well
come every time he thinks he is well
come will soon outwelcome his well
come.--New York Press
Ibid you feel nervous when Jack
proposed to your
| Rather | was afraid we might be
interrupted. london opinion.
Nell Ito young brother coaxingly,-
Oh, Willie, are you an angel?
Willie Not If it's anything upstairs.
Punch.
The people of India are the most
prone to litigation of any people on the
globe There are 100000 lawsuits
every year
First Disputant-Then I'm liar?
Second Ditto-On the contrary. my
dear fellow. you have Just spoken the
truth. Tit Bits.
Sophomore (groaning over his Greek
lesson)-Oh. why didn't Homer re
serve translation Observation-Disclosures
Tales
I m Nff. m 10 H.
fully stingy. Clarence-Stingy? Why,
that man wouldn't even tell story at
his own expense!-H arper's Weekly.
The term frozen music" as applied
to the Gothic 'cathedrals of the old
world originated with Frederick Schle-
gel. the German critic and philosopher
Towne-There was spelling bee
down at our church the other night.
The pastor gave out the words. Did
you hear about 1t?
Browne-No. Was 1t interesting!
Towne- Rather. The first three words
he gave out were increase" pastor
and salary Exchange.
Wife, really must have new
frock.
Husband-W Well, where's the money
to pay for 1t?
Wife-Oh, you needn't worry about
that. The dressmaker has promised to
let me have an neutrality-suspicious.
Batter.
"how much can you hold anyhow
asked the woman In amazement as she
handed the tattered tramp his third
plateful.
II don't know, num-" said Eaton
Jogalong, resuming operations. Il
hain't never been tested up to my full
capacity yet"-Chicago Tribune.
"And then" exclaimed Miss Passay
Indignantly, ''she asked me IL
wouldn't marry the first man that
came along!''
''The ideal" exclaimed Miss Cutting.
"Don't these obviously unnecessary
questions make you tiredT-London
Telegraph.
Missionary have come to inform
you that the cannibal king says he will
eat your wife for dinner In few
minutes
Mr.. Henpeck- Well, there's one con-
solation--Tli bet she'll disagree with
him. She always did with melon
don Mail.
erich, isn't hep
"Fabulously."
"Where did he get itY
Hes the man who applied the car
window principle to the doors Of safes
and safety deposit vaults, making
them absolutely burglar proof
Washington Star.
'T'll never forget the first jack pot |
ever won" said the veteran at tho
game.
what did you hold2' asked the
youngster.
"My breath for one thing. really
don't remember what else. "-Philadel-
phia Press.
Wears Wffe-No, the victr is not In
Just now. Is there any message you
would like me to give him when he re-
turns?
ALL