davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

blasted horse to be doing the work of
two men? Anyhow, she'll be put
wise when she reaches Chicago"
well, it'll give me time to think
the matter over, said Brundage,
hopefully 'You can stand the day
watches and I'll come on at night"
Mr.. Prout entered vigorous pro-
test, but in the end his superior's ar
gument prevailed, and he fastened to
give the necessary instructions to the
members of the crew. True to her
word, Miss Polly Antrim installed her
self as sole passenger on the Arklam.
and the mate proceeded to map out a
long and difficult course of deception
for what promised to be memorable
voyage.
Capt. Brundage, in the role of the
silent Chester, passed muster before
the girls eyes in highly creditable
fashion. She made no sign OF recog-
milton, and he reflected that the stage
must have lost shining light through
his failing to perceive that nature had
clearly intended him for an actor. To
Mr.. Prout fell the agreeable task of
entertaining the fair passenger, who
exhibited a liveliness of spirit not
WAOlIy III hcCpluS Win Inc SOiAO III
maiden whom death had deprived of
a lover. In fact, the mate. being a
single man in the s-acly thirties, found
himself yielding TO the witchery of
her black eyes, and inwardly congrat-
ulated himself upon the happy chance
which had thrown them together
On the second day Capt Brundage
saw fit to take the amorous Mr.. Prout
aside and expostu1ate with him on the
too evident Partially he displayed for
Miss Polly's society. The mate lis
tened to his remonstrances and then
INDUCED in fine burst of 1ongshore
rhetoric. literally favored with harsh
expletives-
"A nice party you are" he CON
Guided, Ito come giyin' me advice.
Wot is it to you if the girls took a
fancy to me? Reg'lar dog in the man
ger, that's wot you are Don't want
her yourself an can't bear to see any
one else get her For two pins I'd
blow the whole game. an then
where'd you bet"
Il was speakin' for your good, Bill, .
pleaded the crestfallen captain "you
don't know wot an artful dame
she is-'
AN how about yourse1f2" queried
the mate. You're a fine honest
hearted innocent to preach about art
fulnesA anyway the JIG III be nE
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
Dispenser Of Kisses.

A Frenchman, who apparently has
been amusing himself by reckoning
up the number of kisses he has given
his wife during the first 20 years of
his married life.
He finds that in the frst year he
dispensed about 100 kisses a day, or,
say, allowing for birthdays and legal
and church holidays. about 36,700 In
the year.
In the second year this number was
reduced by half, and in the third
year to ten day, while in the fifth
year his better half had to be content
with two day, one in the morning
and one in the evening.
What happened after the fifth year
is wrapped in mystery" but at the
same rate of progression" he prob
ably arrived eventually at one kiss on
the first of January every leap year.
Chicago American.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
THE DUPING
......OF POLL Y

serted the captain IT beats all the
shine so many of these girls take to
me. Can't understand why they
do it,
Neither can IT, agreed the mate.
savagely. 1T amt your beauty, I'll
swear Mebbe it's the lies you tell
EN- Some women go daffy over .
slack-mouthed liar"
That's not the point" returned
Brundage, sourly. There's only
one way to square it. We don't
carry passengers as a rule, and she'll
likely be the only one aboard. What
you've got to do now is pass the word
to the crew to keep their mouths shut,
and I'll keep up this deaf and dumb
racket. She'll never know me in this
rig, specially if I only show up after
dark
And who's to stand your watches?''
demanded the mate. Think I'm a
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

monia which had carried OF the vic
tim in record time.
Miss Rolly Antrim listened with an
odd CLEAN in her intelligent eyes.
Wasn't there-that is-didnt he
leave a message or anything of that
kind for me?" she demanded, when
the mate had finished his melancholy
recital
ooh, yes" replied Mr.. Prout hur
riedly. THE poor chap sent you his
love, an'-an' hoped you'd meet him
in heaven he concluded in a burst
of inspiration.
Polly Antrim glanced at the mate
with frightened lips. Very nice of
him. she commented coolly- tWho
did you say took his placer"
Capt Chester" returned Prout.
Nothing like poor Brundage, though,
he amt
81 should like to see him." said
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

Miss Antrim perhaps he could tell
me something more about JIM"
Not him. responded the mate, has
thy. HE didn't know Jim Brundage,
an, anyways" he added as an after
thought, "this here Chester's deaf an
dumb; can't speak a word"
A look of intense surprise deepened
on his hearers countenance.
Deaf and dumb" she repeated.
why, good gracious! how can a deaf
mute be captain of steamer"
The mates face flushed Its this
wary he explained His uncle's the
main guy of the Sherlock Navigation
Company, an he gave Chester the
job He amt much of sailor, an
all the work falls on me-
The girl eyed him steadily. "AIl
the same" she remarked calmly, I'm
bound to see him, for I've made up
my mind to go to Chicago on the
Arklam.'
Mr.. Prout uttered a Mortified ex-
clanaton-
Back on the Arklam." he repeated.
What for?"
ITO visit Jim's grave responded
the artless Miss Antrim
Its the least / can do under the
circumstances And it'll be sort OF
consolation to sail on the boat he
used to command, poor fellow"
well, Capt Chester's ashore just
now" declared the mate. desperately.
THAT doesn't matter, I'll see him
later she said, airily- I'm going
home now to pack my things and get
ready
Much aghast at this unexpected
turn of fortunes wheel, Mr.. Prout
sought the presence of his chief. who
had prudeatly remained in seclusion
during Miss Antrim's visit Capt
Brundage. Respondent in a false
beard and wig of inky blackness, as
sumed to deceive his lady loves pene
trating optics in case she insisted
upon a personal interview. received
his officers tidings with violent ex.
plosion of highly ornamental pro.
family.
you've bungled the whole business
you nIgger-headed swab." he said
heatedly. What the blue blazes are
we to do now? If that girl ever
lands in Chicago and finds out I'm
alive and have q wife and four kids
there'n be the devil to pay
faint my fault, protested the
mate, sulleniy. What business had
you TO- make love to herr Might
have known there'd be trouble.
= wasn't all 70 blame. BiIl.p -
vi
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

There Catarrh IN this section of the country
than ali other diseases put together and until the
few years supposed to be fncurable- For great
many doctors pronounced It local disease and
prescribed local remedies and by constantly falling
to with local incurable.
Science has proven Catarrh be constitutional dis
ease and therefore requires constitutional
Halls Catarrh Cure, manufactured by f. j. Cheney
& Co.. Toledo, Ohio is the only Constitutional
the market 1t is taken internally in doses 10
drops to teaspoonful- 1t acts directly the blood
and mucous surfaces of the system They offer one
hundred dollars for any 1t fails to cure. Send
for circulars and testimonials.
Address: F. j. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, Ohio.
Sold by Druggists, 15c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

You won't tell your family doctor
the whole story about your private
illness you are too modest. You
need not be afraid to tell Mrs. Pink
ham, at Lynn, Mass, the things you
could not explain to the doctor. Your
letter will be held in the strictest con-
fidence. From her vast correspond
ence with sick women during the
past thirty years she may have
gained the very knowledge that will
help your case. Such letters as the fol-
lowing, from grateful women, es-
tablish beyond doubt the power of
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

mented, I'D be glad to help out q
pal, even if I didn't get cent. That's
the kind of man 1 am
can that's the kind I amt" re-
Joined the mate tartly. $50 mebbe
you'll stow this here moralisin bust
ness an hand over the coin, SO as
everything II be accordin' to agree
ment''
The skipper of the steamer Arklam
muttered something uncomplimentary
under his breath, but producing a
bulky pocketbook extracted several
bills therefrom and passed them to
the mate, who thrust them into his
pocket and faced his superior with a
satisfied smirk.
Now that's settled, let's run over
your scheme again, SO as I can get
my right bearin's," he said pleas
antly.
when we get to Buffalo you fix
yourself up with a phony beard an
wig, an if Miss Antrim comes askin'
for you I'm to tell her Capt. Brundage
died VERY sudden in Chicago, an
there's a new skipper in charge"
Don't forget as I'm supposed to
be deaf and dumb" warned the cap
tain. IF she once heard my voice it
'ud queer the whole game
'.Oh, aw right" responded the mate.
~Only she must be bigger fat-head
than she looks if she swallows that.
Who'd ever believe as a company 'ud
hire deaf dummy for captain of a
big steam freighter?"
shes got to believe it, returned
the captain. Anyway, if she sees
me at all, it'll be only for a few min
utes, and the news of my death ill
upset her so that she won't stop to
figure out them little Details
1T wouldn't upset me- retorted the
mate. Seems like she oughter be
joyful to hear it, if she's got any
sense
..Thatl1 be all from you" growled
Brundage in high dudgeon- lust hold
your jaw and do as you're told.
Shortly after the Arklam tied up at
the Buffalo docks she was boarded
by a buxom young damse1 with de-
termined chin and a pair of snappy
black eyes. The watchful mate
greeted her at the gang plank, and
she acknowledged the salutation with
gracious smile.
Good morning, Mr.. Prout," she
said rs Capt Brundage around?"
The mate twisted his features into
a becoming semblance of grief.
I'm sorry to say that I've got bad
news for you, Miss Antrim" was the
response. He hesitated and shook his
head sadly.
> What's the trouble?" inquired the
girl, her face shade paler at the
sight of the mates dolorous visage
rs he sick?''
Worse than that, MISS" returned
the mate in a hoarse whisper. Hes
VERY bad-that is, 1 mean he amt
now. He's gone, miss, gone for
ever
The girl drew sharp breath
What" she gasped, you don't mean
to say"
THAT he's dead, miss. yes, that's
it, an sorry I am to tell YOU
Miss Antrim dabbed handkerchief
hastily across her eyes How did
it happen?p she asked "Why, he
ne was all right when he left here on
his last voyage
step into the cabin" requested the
willy Mr.. Prout, "an' I'll tell you all
about it"
The girl followed him, and seating
herself. prepared to listen to the
mates doleful narrative
In accordance with the instructions
of his chief, Mr.. William Prout gave
very affecting sketch OF the incl
dents relative to the formers sud
den demise, due. as he declared, to
chill followed BY an attack or pneu-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

1 was in misery, and had despaired of
ever getting cured when I decided to
try Doan's Kidney Pills. One box helped
me SO much that kept on until en-
tire1y cured"
Sold by all dealers, so cents a box.
F'oster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
AThat Done"

when we make port an she goes
huntin' for your grave
That's So" agreed Brundage, de-
jectedly. I'VE got to think that over,
BILL
Think it over yourself" retorted
the aggrieved Mr.. Prout; ..but don't
come any nonsense over me, for
won't stand it,
The Arklam was nearing Chicago
when Capt Brundage, sitting alone
in his cabin and figuring desperately
on some means of escape from the
net fate had thrown around him,
looked up in surprise as Miss Polly
entered and closed the door behind
her with an emphatic slam. That
done, she sat down and surveyed her
quondam sutton with malicious eyes.
Brundage stared back with a sickly
smile, wondering inwardly what her
visit might portend. He was not
left long in doubt.
She suddenly stretched forth a slim,
white hand. and tore the black beard
from his face Then she set her little
foot upon it and spoke with much
JUNCTION.
what an awful silly you are, Jim
Brundage, to think that you could pull
the wool over my eyes,
The captain wagged his head dis
mally
s'AH right, Polly he said, you've
got me beat What do you reckon
to dor
eff I was man." said the girl,
scornfully, I'D thrash you well, but
suppose I must get satisfaction an
other way. What hurts me most
isn't your falseness, but the idea that
you considered me such a fool. I've
found out all about you, and unless
you want your wife to know every
thing, you'll do as I say.
when you passed yourself off as a
single man you showed me your
| handbook and calculated that $500
| would start us nicely in housekeeping.
Now, when we reach Chicago, Jimmy
| dear, you'll go straight to the bank,
| draw $3.50, and hand it over to me.
Then I'll say good-by and you can
thank your stars for getting off SC
easily"
The unmasked conspirator swore
| bitterly and protested fervently, but
Miss Polly was adamant and he finally
agreed to her terms. His disclosure
which he had surrendered was re
ceiyed by that unfeeling seaman with
hoarse laugh, which was distinctly
aggravating to his commanders trou
bled mind.
The Arklam lay at the Clark street
dock with Miss Antrim seated in the
captains cabin placidly awaiting his
return from the bank. Beside her
laughed Mr. William Prout, smoking
the pipe of peace. Brundage entered
with a look of intense gloom over
| shadowing his countenance, and sig
nailed the mate to retire. Miss Polly
waved her hand in dissent
stay where you are" she said, ge-
| nially. Count out the money, Jim
and hurry up
The mate grinned broadly as his
skipper lugged out the well-known
pocketbook, and, signing deeply. hand
ed $3.50 in United States currency to
his female Nemesis Polly beamed
graciously upon the uncheerfu1 giyer
That's good boy, JIM" she said
sweetly, "and now we'll go ashore
happy. By the way, 1t may interest
you to know that Mr.. Prout and
mean to set up housekeeping on the
strength of your kind gift
The captains emotion was too deer
| for mere words to express. He rose
to his feet, still staring help1essly, al
Miss Antrim, leaning on the arm OF
the gratified mate, tripped merrily
along the gang plank to the wharf
(Copyright. by w g. Chapnnan-1
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
Eccentricitiee of Genius.

Genius is freakish. It is claimed
that the brilliant DR.. Johnson used to
touch every post in his pathway"
81 know one of them geniuses."
'tAnd does he touch every post he
comes across?"
mo; he touches every friend he
comes across, or everlastingly tries
to"-Louisville Courier-Journal.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
Doubling II.

<'Sir," said the imperial ruler of al
the Russias, edo you realize what a
gulf of inequality yawns between or
binary humanity and an autocrat?"
Dear mel" answered the doumaite
in mild surprise. Us this gulf PROPOSE
ton a czarchasm?
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

DON'T MISS THIS OPPORTUNITY.
Write at once to DIR. Chas. F. SIM
mons, San Antonio, Texas, for in
formation about how to buy from 10 to
$40 acres and town lots of the most
fertile land in Texas for $210. payable
SO per month.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

ATTENTION FARMERS. Do you
know the virgin lands of Texas are
going fast? From 10 to $40 acres and
2 town lots of my $4,000 acre tract for
$40, payable $40 monthly. DR.. Chas-
F. Simmons, San Antonio. Texas.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

ago I began to notice
sharp pain in the
kidneys and a bear
ing down sensation
through the hips,
dull headache and
dizzy spells. Dropsy
appeared, and my
feet a n d a n XII e $
swelled SO I could
%
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

Victim of Delusion-Doctor, I'm
awfully afraid I'm going to have brain
fever
Doctor-Pooh, pooh. my dear friends
That's all an Illusion of the senses.
There is no such thing as fever You
have no fever, you have no br-h'm-
no material substance upon which
such wholly imaginary and suppo-
sitious thing as a fever could ind
any base of operation.
Victim-Oh. doctor. what load you
have taken from my-from MY
have mind, haven't I, doctorf
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
The Contrary child.

Mrs. Popley-LittIe George won't
take milk at all now. He used to take
1t but
Mr. Popley fcrossly)-No, and it's
all on account of your imprudence.
My imprudence?''
Mr.. PopIey-Yes, you allowed him
to hear you say it was good for him.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
Spikes In 1t.

Tommy Rott-Huh, it's all right for
you to laugh when get spanked. but
your ma doesn't use barrel stave.
Eddie Fye-Well, it's just as bad.
She uses pas shoe, and he's a base
ball player.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

Write for literature and views of
the richest and best watered land in
South Texas, now being sold by me
from 10 to $40 acres and two town lots
for $210 at $40 per month. DR.. Chas.
F. Simmons, San Antonio, Texas.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
WARNING FARMERS.
Write

Chas. F. Simmons, of San Antonio,
Texas. for information about his fine
South Texas farm lands that he is SELL
ing in lots from 10 to $40 acres for
$40. including two town lots on pay
ments of $40 per month.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
FARMERS WAKE UP.

chance to buy a farm in the Garden
Spot of the United States, in Atascosa
County, Texas, near San Antonio.
From 10 to $40 acres and two town
lots for $40. Write for literature and
views. DR.. Chas. F. Simmons. San An
tonic, Texas.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
Wonders.

1--WE live In an age of wonders" re-
marked the inventor.
YES" answered his discontinued
spouse; wondering when the money
went out and where it's going to
come from"
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

WRITE AT ONCE to Dr. Chas. F.
Simmons, San Antonio, Texas. for in
formation how to buy from 10 to $40
acres and town lots of the best land
in South Texas. for s210 payable SO
per month.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
a Logical coneIusion.

mr. Pursington says he believes q
man should pay as he goes"
Judging from the way he gets in
debt, he must be accustomed to trav-
cling backward Star
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

HEN you'll do it, Bill, for
the sake of old times ?"
queried Capt. Brundage
anxiously.
Yes" said the mate,
.sfor old times sake and
the % bucks you prom
ised. Partikerly for the
25 bucks"
The captain eyed him
disdainfully.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
"a GOOD COOK.

us your wife a good cook?"
Il should say so. She knows eight
different ways of Disgusting cold
lamb."-Detroit Free Press.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

Many wise-looking man is unabl
to deliver the goods.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teethng softens the gurus, reduces
fanmation. allays palm cures wind COLO 25c bottis
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
GOOD HOUSE

GOOD HoUsEKEEPERs.
Use the best That's why they buy Red
Cross Ball Blue. At leading grocers cents.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

People never help a man blow his
horn because they like the music.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

The winner il he who gives him
self to his work, body and mind
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
A KENTUCKY CASE.
That VIII Interest All Suffering
Women.

Mrs. Della Meanes, 32S E. Front
St., Maysville, KY, says: Seven years
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

Gentleness is Marcus
Aurelius.
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13

Important to Mothers.
Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that it
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.

For thirty years Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousands of
displacements, inflammation, ulcera-
ton. fibroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that bear
fng-down feeling, fatulency, indiges-
ton, dizziness ornervous prostration-
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-06-13
LYDIA E.PlNKHAM'S
VEGETABLE COMPOUND

to conquer all female diseases.
Mrs. Norman r Barndt, of Allen
town, Pa, writes:
Ever since was sixteen years of
age I had suffered from an organic de-
rangement and female weakness; in
consequence had dreadful headaches
and was extremely nervous My physi-
clan said I must go through an opera
ton to get well. A friend told me
about Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound, and I took it and wrote You
for advice, following your directions
carefully, and thanks to you am to-
day a well woman, and / am telling
all my friends of my experience"
Elk City mining news. (Elk City, Idaho) 1903-1913, 1908-08-29
IRVING AND MONTAGUE.
Ono of Their Practical Jokes That
Scared Their Friends.

One OF Their Practical Jokes That
Scared Their Friends.
In SCOTS The Drama Of Yesterday
and Today" the author tells Of a prac-
ucal joke played by Henry Irving and
Harry Montague upon a number Of
their friends, and Gin its execution was
Feen the first dawning glimmer Of that
tragic force that was ultimately to find
expression In Hoods Dream of Eugene
Aram' and The Bells" Irving and
Montague, hitherto the best allies. be-
gan to quarrel on their way to a picnic.
and their friends feared some tragic
consequences. After luncheon both of
the men disappeared.
Smale's face turned deadly pale. He
felt that his worst fears were being
realized. With one wild cry, "They re
gone-what on earth has become Of
them?" he made a dash down the Oar
gle over the rocks and powders, with
the remainder Of the picnic party at his
heels.
At the bottom Of a dreadful hollow
behind the little wood" a fearful sight
presented itself to the astonished
friends. There on a stone sat Henry
Irving in his shirt sleeves, his long hair
matted over his eyes his thin hands
and white face all smeared with blood.
and dangling an open clasp knife
He was mutterlng to himself In
savage tone: I've done it. I've done It:
! said / would. l said / wouldw
Tom Smale in an agong Of fear
rushed up to Irving. who waved lin
on one side with threatening gestures.
"For Coos sake, man" screamed the
+ distracted Smale, tell US where he u.s."
/ Irving, scarcely moving a muscle
pointed to a heap Of dead leaves and
IN sepulchral tones cried: Hes there
therel I've done for him! I've muir
dered him.
Smale literally bounded TO the heap
and began fiinging aside the leaves in
every direction. Presently he found
the body OF Harry Montague lying face
downward Almost paralyzed with
fear, Smale just managed TO turn the
head around and found Montague con-
vulsed with laughter with a pocket
handkerchief in lis mouth to prevent
an explosion Never was better acting
seen on any stage.