The Washington herald., 1908-01-05
By CATHERINE ALTMAN.

each wedding invitation was inclosed. in
an envelope already addressed. two
smaller engraved cards. one bore a form
OF acceptance; the other, of rejection. The
recipient had only 10 choose and fill IN
with his or her name, and mail back with
out delay or trouble Some of those bid
den to the feast lifted their eyebrows very
Ominously. bat the brides mother had
the satisfaction of knowing who were
coming and were not.
Women are the ma!nstay Of medical
specialists: at least. one doctor asserts
and glance about his waiting-room
seemed 10 justify the statement
Il used 10 be a general practitioner, and
went through the usual treadmiu OF the
average Doctors work. with its unsatis-
factory returns. But oftentimes a woman
patient would come to me fancying she
was suffering from some malady, and be-
come very insulted If / were to suggest
some simple wen-known remedy. She
generally averred that hers was most
unusual case. and needed special treat
ment. Half Of my time was taken up
in listening 10 the imaginary ills OF fool
ish women. Matters were getting rather
desperate from a financial standpoint
when woman came into my Office one
day suffering from an affection Of the
throat, and 1 told her to use salt and
water as a gargle in the privacy OF her
own boudoir.
/ could see that this displeased her. so
] examined her throat again and solemn
ly bade her come to my Office for treat
ment. She did, and for two months
daily sprayed that ladys throat with a
solution Of clOrlde OF sodium at the rate
of s. spray All this set me thinking,
and so I went abroad for a time In order
TO gain reputation and came back as a
full-hedged specialist.
Now, / have a good-looking young as
sistant who sees all my patients and
listens to all their troubles. real aud
imaginary. He doesn't know much aboGt
medicine, bat he is sympathetic and good
/ looking, and that Is all that is necessary
Now and then. though, I lose patients
For instance, when a young mother
brought me her little baby with a long
tale Of complicated ailments. Madame,
I said. go home and give the child a dose
or castor oil; that's all il needs al pres
ent'
But, DOCTOR she demonstrated, give
my darling castor all? Why, that's such
an old-fashioned remedy
Well, madame I responded acidly,
babies are old-fashioned things and
seem to be going out Of style along with
common sense and a few other God
given attributes.
Optimism is a good trait OF character to
possess and helps heap TO soften the
! brutal jolts of this worlds ups and
downs. The other day at a down town
lunch Emporium" / overheard two
women discussing a third one, who was
absent. know that Satan was stuffing his
ears with cotton batten for fear he would
hear something good said. ''She is the
most optimistic woman I ever knew" re-
marked the one. Nothing ever ruffies
her or causes her to bewau her lot: why
she could go to a public euchre OF a d.
A. r. meeting and come forth unscathed
in spirit and smiling"
Public euchren D. A r. meeting,
calculated the other. that's nothing.
Why, II Mrs. BIS husband were to be-
come bankrupt and forge checks in his
company's name, get mixed up with some
adventures and then blow out his brains
TO shirk the responsibility and disgrace.
Mrs. B. would still thank Heaven that
black was becoming 10 her, anyway"
MiIady Uptodate has to spend small
fortune in the personal adornment Of her
pretty neck nowadays. for collars come
high in more senses than one. OF course
It is useless to tell the unsophisticated
that those high tailorish collars will ruin
the most beautiful neck in the world and
leave dark ring beside which scarlet
sin might be washed out as white as
snow. But disagTeeabie physicians say
worse than that. for they declare that the
continuous wearing OF extremely high
and tight neclkwear seriously affects the
whole nervous system and does much to
ruin the eyes. more even than the dainty
folly Of wearing high heels One thing
may be noted and that is that the present
mode Of headgear, Embarrassing, and
chafing collars certainly lends a strained
expression 10 young faces that lrreslst-
IDLY reminds one of a man trying to walk
a tight rope and play a mouth organ at
one and the same time
Three young girls were in a very earnest
discussion al the neckwear counter a few
days ago. DO you call EN- jabbots or
JduONn- Qhtfl6u one lT0uDled ltIte lady,
as she peered over at the handmade fol-
lies for feminine undoing.
We'll, I'll tell you" explained the sec
ond, anything under a dollar Is Just a
plain jabbit, pronounced unadorned, but
when they come as high as two or three
dollars they take upon themselves the
nature of a French word, and termed
jabows, with the most Partisan shrug of
the shoulders you can muster"
MY brother has an original name FOR
them," chimed in the third, '.for l over
heard him tell some one that | received
half dozen handkerchiefs, two pairs of
gloves, and three jack-pots for Christ
mas"
Now that the mad rush Of the holiday
season is over, one can sit back and muse
on the folly and disappointments that at
tend on the merry customs of gift ex-
changing. To the looker-on it would seem
that the mercenary spirit has come to
prevail almost absolutely, and even the
little children want the most expensive
toys, so that their possessions may be the