Golden Valley chronicle. (Beach, Billings County, N.D.) 1905-1916, 1908-02-21
ALL KNOW THIS MAN
THE TlME-srEALER ONE OF THE
EVERLASTING NUIsANcEs.

Minutes, Hours, Days and Weeks Are
His Plunder-Foe to industry with
Whom It Is Very Hard
to Deal.
He Is known among his acquaint.
ances-and about everybody knows
hfm-as the time thief. Not that he
relieves his friends of their watches;
that wouldn't be so bad, because
watches can be replaced, but the time
thief takes what can never be recov-
cred or duplicated-minutes and
hours. and days and weeks, which do
not belong to him. Unlike the ordi-
nary thief who steals from those who
have the most of what he covets, the
time thief steals the golden moments
from those who have the fewest to
spare.
The time thief is not ordinarily a
bad sort of fellow. But for his per-
nicious habit of taking what does not
belong to him he might be good citi-
zen and an ornament to society. The
modus operandi of this foe to indus
try constitutes the peculiar enormity
of his offense, for he carries on his ne
farious business openly and cheerfully,
persuaded that he is an angel of benefi-
cence to his fellow men.
He elbows" breezily into the Of
flee of his victim at the busiest hour
OF the day and this is what takes
place:
"Hullo, old chap says the time
thief, slapping his victim on the back.
There you are with your nose at the
grindstone again. You'll peg out one
of these days and never know you've
been alive"
How are you?" returns the victim,
with forced politeness, for of course
it is impossible to kick the time
thief. You'll excuse me if l finish
what I'm at here--awfully busy this
afternoon"
Busy, nothing" says the time thief,
jovially. "You only think you're busy.
Nothing but habit, old man, nothing at
all but habit. If didn't drop in every
day or two to jar you out of your rut
l don't know what would become Of
you. Now, just chuck that pen
while I'm here and put your feet up
on the desk. Got little story want
to tell YOU
But the victim who has been
through all this before, laughs as po-
litely as possible, and keeps on with
his work. If the time thief didn't have
a hide as thick as an alligator he'd
take the hint and ramble out. But
such course never occurs to him.
Being time thief, he won't go until
he has obtained enough plumber to
make it worth his while. Accordingly,
he planks himself down in chair,
puts his feet on the desk, and tells his
little story. The telephone rings, Wis
itors arrive to transact business with
the victim, the Office boy comes in
with papers for him to sign. These
are very annoying Interruptions for
the time thief, but they do not dis
courage him to the point of giving up
his attack: He always begins again
at the point where he left off and
carries his story through to the end
and begins another.
The time thief never has any bust
ness of his own, and never can see
why anybody else should have any.
Look at me-" he says boastfully.
II look 20 years younger than you do
now, and I'll live that much longer
than you. All because know how to
live. Well, so long for now; I'll
drop in again tomorrow and cheer
you up again.
Although the time thief boasts that
he knows how to take things easy.
it would be worth while to have him
tackled by another time thief. The
chances are that he would see things
in different light at once. But the
effect would only be temporary, and
he would pounce on his victim with
all the more delight at the next op-
portunity. In all probability the time
thief will last while time lasts.
The Only Digestible. Kind.
A young man who is striving for pc.
litical honors and who, therefore,
feels called upon to do considerable
public talking, was recently waited
upon by delegation of men residing
in one of the poorer regions of his
district.
He was greatly pleased when their
spokesman requested a speech from
him at an early date.
What kind of speech?' he asked.
* d after-dinner speech" replied