The Idaho Springs siftings-news., 1908-02-22
HAS NEVER FAILED
BREAKFAST FOOD TEST FoR AN
ENGlISHnAN.
Try THIS and Be Convinced That
There's Nothing Better TO Spring
on Briton. Masculine
or Feminine.


recently married d British husband
was holding forth one day to group
Of friends on the subject OF lnterna-
tiOnal marriage.
i DO love To read all the bosh that's
written in the papers about II, She
said, they paint DARK pictures of the
foreign vulture about TO descend on
the American dove. etc etc, and dis
course learnedly on the causes OF
failure of most OF these marriages, and
it's really the simplest thing in the
world-yuu'ye got to use discernment.
that's all There are various tests that
can be applied to men OF different
nations, but I'm convinced that there
nothing better to spring on Il Britou.
masculine or feminine. than the break
fast-fOOd test.
Il wasn't on to II when | married. and
II was Algys sister who unCousctously
gave me the tip. She came over to
make us visit. and own that shook
in my boots. Shes older than AlSy,
you know. by good deal. and ! had
desperate feeling that she disap-
proved of everything American. par
ticularly myself Alsy worked over
time 10 persuade me TO the contrary,
but | was used 10 our talky talky
women and quite failed to grasp that
her apparent aloofness might be due
to nothing but shyuess.
So when she asked to be shown
my kitchen | quaked. | bravely rose
to the occasion, however. and led her
I. AZ h, Il
box and said meat safe would be
far less extravaganr at this time of
year-she shifted openly at my gas
range which she was certain was
'smelly'-hut her face was a picture
when her eye fell on the cupboard
shelf where the breakfast foods live
She first asked what they were, and
volubly explained the different sorts
from sand and shavings through pull
yerized whisk brooms.
But surely you don't eat them
she inquired
Surely we do l returned val
iantly.
she gave sort of grunt. then
looked from the box she was holding.
Does Algernon eat them she
asked in a how -have-the mighty fallen
sort Of tone.
He eats oatmeal | explained and
IT was funny to see how relieved she
looked, for she had been distressed to
death to see him drink coffee at break
fast in place OF the revered and tradi-
tional tea, and | suppose she feared
that he was becoming fundamentally
'Amurrican: But all she said was:
"'Aow. porridge?'
Then sudden thought occurred to
me-Id get her to taste one OF those
breakfast foods. She was holding a
box OF crispy sweet sort of things not
unlike popcorn.
Taste it, Amy I urged; it doesn't
have TO be cooked, you know. and it's
rather fun to eat it right out of the
box
she looked darkly suspicious, then
drew out few flakes, holding them as
If they We're slumbering hornets with
a potential sting. But | 'sicked her on,
and eventually she made the leap. |
waited anxiously, and the suspicious
expression slowly left her face, making
room for one Of rather pleased sur
prise.
Not so nawsty," she pronounced.
and smiled at me, and from that mo-
ment We wee friends.
I've tried it on lots of English peo-
pie since. and later events have never
failed to confirm its infallibility, foi
the unprogressive. unadaptable MIND
betrays itself every time. So II you
want to marry an Englishman, invite
him to breakfast-and try il, she
finished.