Los Angeles herald., 1908-03-22
BASEBALL STORIES

Down in New Orleans there is a
major leagues. All major league ball
players are brilliant wits and satirists,
if you believe all the stories they are
alleged to have told. This one, his
name is Matthews. belongs in that cate
CORY. Dope Eldridge, a southern league
umpire last season, tells the story.
Matthews was sent to bat toward the
close of the game for a weak hitter.
who are you batting for?" demand
ed Eldridge.
Matthews squinted, studied the UNI
pire, and answered:
For the New Orleans baseball
club
1t was not so very bad for a chap
eking out an existence on the sun baked
clay of a southern league diamond. No
doubt Matthews could get off even
better one up in the majors, where the
baseball reporters sit up nights think
ing of something funny to have the
heroes say.
These baseball players are funny fell
lows, awfully funny-some of the jokes
they crack create as much laughter as
a fence around a tombstone. There
are some really good story terriers in
the game. on the Detroit team Jen-
nings has won fame in that line. He
can scarcely hold a conversation with
out getting off a yarn worth while.
Bill Donovan tells a good story and so
does Schaefer. Freddy Panye, too, isn't
so bad.
But that's about hd. The winter
dopester would have you believe that
every man in baseball is a droll Mark
Twain or a George Bernard Shaw.
These poor ball players have to stand
for a whole lot of things. Joe Miller'S
joke book was originally to blame for
it, during the winter months.
But when it comes to satire, ball
players are there. Don't forget that
And at repartee they are sometimes
really brilliant. Clark Griffith is espe-
cially scintillating along that line.
Clark gets out on the coaching line,
puts his hands in his mouth and says
to the pitcher:
"Oh. you fathead, yuh can't Pitch
Brilliant, isn't it? But how quickly
comes the keen retort:
"Yuh big stiff; sore head, hey, cause
yer all in.'
They call Griffith Foxy Griff," and
laud him because of his brilliant coach
ing. Why shouldn't they? Think of
the mental depth required to get out
on the coaching line and shout:
Kill the mutt: he amt got moth
ing
in baseball, but there are still more
floating around the country with repu-
tations as wits who wouldn't see joke
If it met them on the street and shook
hands with them. One writer down
east, who supplies a syndicate, gr1nds
out a certain number of stories each
week and then fills in the names of the
players as he sees fit. He has serious
minded Bill Coughlin, Larry Lajoie,
Fielder Jones and others handing out
George Bernard Shaw copy.
An eastern paper tells a story of a
brilliant wit of the southern diamond
who put two rotten eggs in the pocket
of an umpire and when he moved his
elbow they broke. That was master
piece; no real humorist can fail to ap-
preciate how keen and subtle it really
was. The eggs broke, ser? (Much laugh
ter)
AS Herman Schaefer would say, "1ts
enough to bring tears to the eyes of
rocking horse.
times have their humorous spells. They
must keep in line with their ready wit
to show they are not going back any.
Last summer a photographer went to
get a picture of Young. Cy growled
that he wasn't having his picture taken
that day. The man with the camera
insisted, and finally Cy consented.
'Are you ready?" he demanded.
,"Yes, ready" said the photographer.
He snapped the thing jig and
then saw to his vast amusement that
CIV had stuck out his tongue just as the
picture was snapped. Certainly he was
amused; who wouldn't be at such a
clever joke"