davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
TOLD ACROSS THE
BREAKFAST TABLE

THE very thing" said the art student
during a discussion about running
boat excursion to the game at
Kansas City. IF the stunt can be pull
ed off this year it will establish a pre-
cedent which others will follow. We can
do without the railroads"
The idea has been talked of before
gloomily continued the red headed
"Soph" with the wart on his nose, 'but
when the time comes to 90 the scheme
'fizzles out and the only fellows to 60
are the ones whose jeans are well padded
with dads cash. l guess tomorrow
someone will make flying machine
proposition to reach Kansas City, and so
on until the day comes for us to stand
on the station platform, and wave good
by to the lucky Ones.''
The football man shook his head. 81
believe you're wrong this time. l feel
that the students are going to do some
thing. 1t will either be a boat or a
special train. Remember the University
Missourian is here to keep the fellows
awake to the necessity for action
Lets bum our way to Kansas City,"
suggested the Freshman to the solicitor
for the Oven.
Won't do" answered the latter 81
suppose I'm what Dean of the Univer-
sity of Michigan, in his speech against
college fraternities, classified as an in
tellectual hobo l don't think I'd make
good on the road"
Il notice that the University may
soon have post office sub b-statiOn," re-
marked the Junior Medic" It'll be a
good thing too. Most large universities
have them. We've felt the need for one
here for a long time.
Probably the post office will serve
as substitute for the removal of the
last two years of our medical depart
ment to a larger city," volunteered the
art student.
Il don't see where the substitution
comes in" said the Medic"
We'll, you ought to know" replied the
former sweetly. 'Males are conspicuous
factors in both departments"
''NlOnilaw is going to use his bow
wow play against Kansas" ventured the
Freshman.
Right you are" nodded the wag, "and
hope every time it occurs it will result
in dog gone good gain"
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
For Better Plays.

To the Editor Of the University Missourian:
Without wishing to pose as a purist
or critic l should like nevertheless to
express an opinion concerning the sol
disaut stage, as it exists in Columbia.
This is college community, of all
places the place where taste for high
class drama and first rate actors should
exist. Now what competent judge will
say that the people of Columbia ever
catch glimpse of first-rate actor or
actress in a play of merit. barring an
occasional, nay rare. exception? Is the
public taste elevated by such productions
as The Isle of Spice or Dream City?"
These are mere diversions of extremely
doubtful prOpriety for the young mind,
and are absolutely devoid of any educa
tiOnal value whatever. Such shows de-
prive the student of his money and his
valuable time, and in return give him
less than nothing
During the two years that the Opera
House has been in operation here there
have been certainly not more than two
or three productions of merit presented.
One of these, The Tanning of the
Shrew." with CAS-. B. HanfOrd i'm the
leading role, was greeted by such pitt
fully small audience that HanfOrd ad-
ministered between acts a wellmerited
rebuke to the play going public of Col
umbia. and expressed his chagrin and
disappointment in no uncertain terms at
such reception in the place where he
naturally least expected it. On the
other hand. do the commonplace shows
of the type of District Leader" suffer
for lack of patronage. BY no means.
the S. r. o. sign is worked overtime.
In other University towns, so far as
| know, no such conditions exist. If the
towns themselves are lax, and it is
doubtful if many are to the degree that
Columbia is. the students take it upon
thVh'o'c' " Pi'Seh' pays "oi'h Sec
ing. At the University of California is
a beautiful Greek Theatre where classi-
cal plays are presented by the students.
The societies and Dramatic Club at the
University of Michigan present plays
that do credit to them; two years ago
their Circle Francais went abroad and
played in France. DIR. Knapp, of Colum-
bia University, told us last year how
Greek plays We're given by the students
at Columbia University. The Kansas
University Dramatic Club presents class
ical plays. Same at Wisconsin. The
Dramatic Club at our neighbor Univer-
sity of Arkansas presents yearly CLASH
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
Ge@isgsaassD
UNIVERSITY CALENDAR

Nov. 20. Student volunteer band, The
Far East and Christianity,
Y. W. c. A. room, p. m.
Nov. 81. Athenaean Literary Society.
Union Literary Society.
New Era Debating Club, Room
IA, Academic Hall, 7:3O p. m.
NJ. S. L. Debating Club.
Nov. 25. 4 p. IN. to Nov. 30, at 5 a. m.
Thanksgiving Holidays.
Dec. 3, s p. m., and Dec. 4. all day,
Oriental sale, 1. W. c. A.,
University auditorium.
Dec. 4. Lecture, John 7. McCutcheOn,
Auditorium.
Dec ii and II. Inauguration of Presi-
dent A. Ross Hill.
Dec IL. 'She Stoops to Conquer"
Dec. IS. Lecture, dorado Taft, Audito-
rum.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
EUGENE FIELDS FIRST PUBLISHED
POEM CELEBRATED WINE-CELLAR RAID

THE next and the last time that |
saw him was in Denver, where,
while on the Tribune, his national
reputation really began. l recall now,
der and serious after his children were
born, what a wondrOus change domestic
life had wrought within him; and how
when presented my oldest boy, tLen a
five-year-old, what a strange thing it
seemed to see my old rollicking friend
reach out and draw the child into his
arms, and to see how confidently the
timid boy responded to his fatkerly
touch.
have shed tears of mirth with him
at college; and tears of tender and seri-
GUS sentiments with him since we both
have entered lie higher school. The
critics who could not enter the realm
where he was easily King, may say he
was not a poet; others who could not
approach his talent or appreciate theS
delicacy of his art may sneer at him as /,
the poet of the nursery; but l only know
that wherever a newborn babe cries or
gurgles, a new-made mother tightens her
arms and a new-made father quickens
his gait; wherever a step is needed and
a story asked or knee climbed and a
neck clasped; wherever homes are glad.
dened by chiIdren's glee or darkened by
children's death, or parental hearts are
buOyed by hopes of filial love ripening
with the years, this poet of the tender
ness of our homes will be read, when
rhymes of higher art and on higher
themes lie stainless and unthumbed in
our book cases. Inexperience is the same
as youth; and to those who cannot vet
know all that his tender verse and prose
may be to them, his little poem, Some
time" may be as fitting as it was to the
restless babe over whose crib he bent
with the tears of love in his eyes:
"You are too young to know it now,
But sometime you may know"
JAMES NEWTON BASKET. !.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

YYNUS March nOx, cum Doctor D
II .Jacet in lectum peacefully,
Existmat audire noise
Vemens alb damnatis boys.
lille dixit, "DuterturbO,
Et statim alb sacelium CO."
Non sooner diXit guam twas done,
In viam daret on the run.
Sed primus at JOsephus' door,
He stops ct raps, et-nothing more.
Josephus, too, in lectum lay,
Et planned upprOblems ad next day,
Et lost in meditatio deep,
Tamenque tired, could non sleep,
Cum suddenly a magnum sound,
Reused illum alb his thoughts profound;
A vOx outside was heard to say,
Come, care Joseph, sans delay!"
Id was the Doctors vOx he heard,
Et so he dressed sans nary word;
Et cum he alb the fOres came.
tie heard the Doctor loud exclaim,
u age, age. dear old teller,
amnati boys sunt in the cellar!
Et ere nos know id, they'll have drank,
The vinum ex the vinum tank!"
'Yes, We'll away ct spoil hoe fun
Et catch the rOgues ere they're begun!
If l can't funk 'em at their tasks,
Ego will funk 'em at the casks!
Et nos will vero mimo see.
81 they can fool geometree."
TIA the duo make their way,
Ad vinum cellar sans delay.
The Doctor stands outside the door,
Audiet young kits in war.
Says one, whose nomen I'll not state,
"If Doc. comes here, I'll break his patel"
Com 10! the door was opened wide,
The Doc. was seen, and by his side,
Stat carus Joseph, full of glee,
kt in his hand, geometree.
Magnus deus, how the boys
Cessarunt eX their drink ct noise!
Et unus Senior, on his knees,
Cries, Doctor, let me 60 sir, 81 tu please.
A Junior dixit in contrition,
Don't keep me off from exhibition
A Sophomore, wild and in despair,
Describes triangles in the air.
Cum, care Joseph cries with glee,
state problem tenth, from Liber three"
The frightened pueri all crowd,
Around the Doctor, who aloud,
Proclaims ut he will have to see,
Them ranged before the Faculty.
Sed gloria to that Faculty.
Doctor cavet, pueri, free.
AGER PRIMUS.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
In Conversation.

To move resistlessly in polite society
one must not know too much or too
little of anything; that would hinder
conversation. And to shine in the haunts
of higher culture one must know too
much about some one thing and nothing
about everything else; for that is true
Between skimming and
grubbing there is no middle way, down
which any self-respecting member of
contemporary society may trudge.-New
.ork Evening Post.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
Resigned.

Our Literary Editor, Mr.. EU-
GENE FIELD, having determined
not to attend the University this
year, has resigned. We are sorry
to lose so valued member of our
corps. Our best wishes 60 with
him.
In looking over the files 1 do not find
any contributions of his except the dog
Latin" poem below; but there was an
immense circulation of similar things
from his pen, and that of his younger
brother Roswell These were new songs,
old songs revised so as to have apt local
references, parOdies, and humorous
rhymes which We're often illustrated by
grotesque drawings. Gene knew the
frailties of his fellows and the professors,
as well as those of the local celebrities;
and they all came in for their share of
his satire, and they often first saw them
selves as others saw them in his carica-
lures.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
THE COUNTRY NEWSPAPER.

The country newspaper, intelligently
conducted. fills an important place in
the journalism of the United States. a
place that the modern city paper will
never be able to fill. The country news
paper is closer to the people of the coun-
try than the metropolitan newspaper
can ever be. The average person knows
nothing at all about the editor Of the
modern city newspaper, they read the
editorials, or at least some of them. but
they have no thought for tine man that
writes them. With the country editor
it is different. Everybody knows him:
he is an authority on every subject under
the sun. The people rely on him, and
if his paper is intelligently edited it
becomes a power for good in the CON-
munity.
The country newspaper editor should
study his community and learn it
thoroughly. He should in time become
personally acquainted with each OF his
subscribers. He should understand their
needs. He should be able to tell tie
farmers when to plant and harvest their
corn, when to gather their pumpkins.
He should be able to tell them which
is the best breed of dairy COW, and how
to fed her. If he sees that his COM
munity prospers no longer by regular
farming. he should show them how to
become dairy farmers or stock raisers.
The country editor should print a news
paper that deals with all phases of life
as it exists in his community. His paper
should have regular departments and
they should be kept in the same place.
The farmer should know exactly where
to turn to find the latest agricultural
news. or the latest stock news. and his
wife should know Immediately where to
turn to find the things that interest
her, for instance. the pattern for new
dress for her eight year old daughter. or
the latest recipe for making pear pre-
SciNcS' Ihc souiiS uduShtti anu sun
should be able to turn Immediately to
the column that always tells of the par
ties both past and present. the visitors
in the community and general country
gossip that interests the whole family
as well as themselves.
Besides this local news. the paper
should carry a certain amount of state
news, with general survey of the big
events of the week both home and for
eign, with intelligent comment thereon.
The meaning of the big events of the
world should be explained and inter
preted for subscribers.
A great deal of attention should be
paid to the country advertisers. This
should be campaign of education. The
country merchant must be taught to ad
yertise, if he would keep pace with the
modern city business establishment with
its big modern mail order department.
The progressive farmers should be |
taught how to advertise their special
types of live stock and grains, and how
to create demand for them.
In fact. there is nothing that can
build up community more than an up
to-date country newspaper. 1t can be-
come the greatest power in the COM |
munitv.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

Report comes from Chillicothe of
wholesale conversions in a revival held
at the little mining town of Gait, near
by. The Rev. j. NJ. Harris has won
240 converts and with the help of four
other ministers baptized l29 in a creek
at one time
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
Would Have Yells Printed.

To the Editor OF the University MissOurian:
Since the student body of Kansas
University is having printed a small
handbook of their yells to be given out
to the people who see the Thanksgiving
game. why should not the student body
here have a copy of our yells to give our
many loyal Missouri rOOters in Kansas
City? ii. L. n.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

Washington University is trying to
raise $l.OOO,OOO endowment fund. Rob
ert S. Brookings, president of the uni
versity corporation, has subscribed
$25O,OOO and other members 100000,
leaving $55O,OOO to be obtained.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
VIEWPOINTS S

THE University Missourian invites cootd-
buttons. not to exceed 200 words. on matters
Of University interest. The name OF The
not be printed unless desired. The Univef-
sity Missourian does not express approval NOR
disapproval Of these communications BY print
ing them
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
No Introduction for Him.

Agent: Il am introducing new
typewriter, neat little thing you can
take in your lap"
Author: Not for me. I'm a married
man."
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

Note:-NOv. l3.-l9OS: This Manuscript
was written shortly after Fields
death. Part of it was published in the
Book Lover ~ by Scribners but much
was omitted. The manuscript was re-
turned with the editors erasions and
suggestions to the printer.
]. n. Basket.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

w. A. Keyte, of Kirksville, is one of
the heirs to the Keyte estate in Scot
land. 1t is said that he will have no
trouble in proving his claim to share.
The estate is worth $3O,OOO,OOO.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
OF MISSOURIANS
AND MISSOURI

Slight earthquakes were felt in many
sections of the state Nov. II. The
severest shocks We're in the southeast
and at Sedalia and Higbee.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

The North Dakota Student. in an
editoriai on Senator Villas $2.OOO,OO0
g'ft to the University OF Wisconsin for
permanent endowment, writes the fol-
lowing paragraph: mo such provision
mas been mad for the University Of
North Dakota. Of course our university is
In Its infancy and its alumni of the
nrst years are few and yet compars-
livery young. But there is possibility
that North Dakota University may yet
oe the recipient of gift like that Of
senator Villas. Here's to you, Alumni
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
The Measure of Renown.

Bob: Introduce me to the old guy.
The Hostess: Why, you must know
him. He's the president of your col
lege.
NO, l don't. He isn't interested in
athletics.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

DIR. Richard c. McLaurin of Columbia
University, President elect of the Mas
saehusetts Institute of Technology. is
OF wide experience. He was born in
Edinburgh, reared in New Zealand. edu.
Gated in Cambridge, and for some time
was professor in the University of New
Zealand.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
Written in Dog Latin." it Appeared in 1877 in
the University Missourian. First Student
Publication-Historyb by ]. N. Basket.

time later in his journalistic work by
the initials "A p"
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

Forty new football songs have been
submitted at Harvard this year.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

The Nebraska County Fair will ex-
ceed all previous fairs this year. A
Congress of Fair Women" is to be the
"big show"
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

The Junior Engineers at Purdue have
decided to wear as their distinctive garb,
trousers of silver gray corduroy with
red leather cuffs and trimmings.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

Pennsylvania has eighty-f -four stu
dents from the Latin-American com-
tries.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

1t is estimated that $4,000 people
will attend the annual Yale Harvard
football game this year.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

The Texan announces the p;rls' Loan
year number for some time in Decem-
Der thus: Think of it, An edition
OF eight pages gotten up by fifteen pop
uiar eo-eds! Can you imagine anything
more spicy?"
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

The Teachers College of Columbia
University is soon to have new Do
nestle Arts building, equipped with
laundry rooms, cooking laboratories and
accommodations for textile work.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

The University of Virginia has decid-
ed to retain its requirement of Latin
or Greek for either the A. b. or A. NJ.
degree.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

The new Carnegie swimming pool at
Yale, which will cost $4,000, is to be
completed by February.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
AGER PRIMUS.

1HEN l saw him next he had Just
w recently returned from Europe
and married. 1 met him on the
streets of st. Louis and he made me go
home with him for the night. l can re-
call the picture of his taking the drop
light and paving the contents of his
wife's bureau drawer to and fro utter
ing dramatically:
And the lamplight gloated o'er,"
while he searched for his purse to get
money with which to show his rural
friend the city sights. Finding it at
last he put it into his pocket with much
the same air that Joe jefferson assumes
in Lend Me Five Shillings," when he
finds the purse in the strange overcoat,
he exclaimed, Now Basket, we are
ready Not a penny would he permit
ME to pay for anything.
He was going to write book on dogs,
he told me. Of these he was inordinately
fond. At college he had a little black
that was his constant COM
panion> In the midst of the deepest
councils of that August body, the Mis-
sourian staff, l have seen him get down
on allfours to have romp with
Penny"
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

THE writer was a fellow student of
Eugene Field at the University of
Missouri, and was associated with
him in what was the germ of his literary
work.
We were both at the same time part
of the editorial corps of that institu-
tion's first college paper-the University
Missourian. l think his connection was
brief, and he resigned before his name
was really put into type as an asso-
ciate, as may be seen by the September,
1871, issues head:-
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

Stanford University has recently add
ed a medical department.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

THE following little doggerel is sc
far as l know the first rhyme that
he ever put in print. 1t is at least
his first here in Missouri-where his
career began.
The farm attached to the Agricultural
College was fortunate in the year 1871
in large yield of grapes. They were
made into wine which was stored in a
vat nearly as large as a windmill tank.
placed in the basement of the old main
building-nOw burned down.
This was too tempting for the cOnvi-
vial students. They made sundry at
tacks upon the tank. but one night DR..
Daniel Read. the President, and Pro-
fessor Joseph Ficklin of the chair of
mathematics caught them, and dampen-
ed their ardor. The rhyme is Fields de-
scription of the incident.
In it one can see the earnest of much
of his later humorous work. and to one
who knew all the circumstances. many
of the touches in it are peculiarly strik-
ing.
Professor Ficklin was serious sort of
mana student of mathematics only
and was then writing a text book on
geometry. To those who knew him inti-
marely he had fine social nature, but
to the average student he was simply
the giver of hard problems of peculiar
Field had no talent what
ever for mathematics and abominated it.
but he was an omnivorous reader of
fiction. poetry, folklore and classical
Somewhere he had been
well grounded in Latin and evinced here
his love for Horace which was subse-
quently so strongly developed. On the
college roll he was known as Field first
and his younger brother as Field second.
Hence his signature of "Ager Primus'
a non-de-plumo which he kept up some
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19

r IELD had a contempt of form for
the sake of form. In this he was
extravagantly American. Hating
monotonv he was ever struggling for the
original
The next | knew of him he came to
Mexico. Mo-. as the representative of the
st. Louis GlOOeDemOcrat A certain can
didate for governor was canvassing the
State and Gene was reporting his
speeches and receptions at each town.
Some one came down from up stairs
where his candidate was speaking and
found him stretched on bench in the
hall below. why are you not up stairs
reporting the scene?' was asked him.
"Oh." replied Field. after he had talked
five minutes didn't he say so and so
iquoting favOrite phrases of the speaker
in perfect mimicry of voice. gesture and
facial expression.) Yes." And later
didn't he rear up on his toes, clench his
fist (thus) and say so and so again
tquoting and mimicking), Yes," We'll
then,' he replied. lying comfortably down
again, "a fellow doesn't have to be up
stairs to follow that old fool
In his next day paper followed a
glowing account of an.
pearanee at Mexico, with quotations
from the speech and proper interiections
of applause. etc.
University Missourian. [volume] (Columbia, Mo.) 1908-1916, 1908-11-19
Ghe Anthersitg Missumriam
PUBLISHED MONTHLY BY THE
STUDENTS OF THE UNIVERSITY

Editors
H. w. EWING, Edtor-in-C Chief
j JAMES MES cooNsY, {; sASEE' Associates
---- Literary Critic
JAMES H. DRYDEN, Local Editor
N. W. ALLEN, Business Manager