The San Francisco call., 1908-07-05
If TnOlSANDTH MANI nA1pH Stock

least resistance to the thing 1 was try.
ing to forget than anything I had tried
previously, and I determined that my
only hope lay in a hard, routine day of
manual labor, in which 1 should become
machine, a mechanical contrivance
for the doing of certain crude work
work that I could do day in. day out,
and perhaps lose myself in the rhythm
of doing it.
Il came here, and do exactly what
you see me doing every day ! have
my wagon loaded in the bush with
logs, drive them to the mill skidways,
roll them off and return to the bush.
I find myself counting the trees that
line the trail Between the sl1fdways
at the mill and the skidways in the
bush there are exactly 1,11s full grown
trees lining the trail on the right side,
and 7S less on the left. I make six
trips in the day My nigh horse takes
204O steps to the trip. as a rule. and
the off horse 2.4O9 So I manage to
occupy my mind all day and lose it in
tired sleep at night. 1 have been do
ing this now for three years. and by
comparing my state of mind now with
what I remember it to have been three
years ago 1 feel I am making head
way"
This thing you are trying to for
GET I began, carried away by the
interest this extraordinary recitation
had aroused in me, then checked myself
instantly, but perhaps you'd rather
not" 1 added hurriedly.
81 shall tell you ALL" he continued
doggedly. 81 was just coming to that
this is where the other man laughed"
He opened his shirt at the throat, de-
tached a small locket from a thin silver
chain that encircled his neck and
pressed some spring that opened it
That is what I'm trying to forget"
he said, as he placed it in my hand
I studied the face of a very ordinary
looking girl of perhaps 90 The hair
was dark and parted in the middle,
with severe simplicity; the features un-
deniably handsome, in coarse, rather
voluptuous style that suggested the
Jewess. The eyes were, of course, ex-
pressionless, the picture being pho
tograph. 1 studied it carefully for a
few moments, and then returned it.
You see," he said, attaching the
locket to the chain once more and
speaking in a deliberate monotone I'VE
were engaged to be married. 1 came
out here to buy fruit land and build
the home, and when l went back to
fetch her-she had changed her mind,
that's ALL"
After a brief pause he looked up at
me. almost appealingly. You're not
laughing" he suggested, without a
trace of cynicism.
was not. 1t annoyed me to such an
extent that resolved to speak.
"I see nothing to laugh at" 1 agreed;
but tell me, you never had much ito
do with women?"
she was the only woman 1 ever
really knew or cared to know"
You have never seen her since
not for five years altogether"
No
And because she threw you over
you came here and buried yourself.
You thought this the best way to for
get?"
1T was the only way"
NO" 1 repeated, II still see nothing
exasperate."
q knew you wouldn't understand"
he said tri1e wearily. Il don't want
to slobber, and God knows 1 say this
out of no conceit, 1 must be one man
in a thousand; you and the other 999
would look upon it as a misfortune
and it is impossible to say which of
us is right, but 1 can't forget; 1 can't
play at it, love and ride away Where
1 loved once shall always love; she is
part of me though belonging to an
other man. 1, you see, was not part
of her-there was some gigantic mis-
take somewhere. She was something
ethereal to me; she will always be the
same, whatever happens"
Mans love is the same the world
over" I blurted brutally. ITO see a
fellow like you buried in a hole like
Ihls' SolHS IHIouSh uoi5 eAtel odS what
you go through for the sake of
dream, a chimera-if you call 1t 'un-
derstanding to sanction this, 1 certain
ly don't understand You carry that
picture round your neck and in your
minds eye you see her always as she
appeared to you in the old days. You
!, worship that, you understand-not her,
but her memory If you could see her
now, why she might disgust you. I'm
agine her as a portly matron, by way
of a change; she may have developed
the temper of a fiend; she may have
had eczema, smallpox. anything that
would disfgure her for life-oh, wake