Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1908-01-21
Short Stories.

W. ~
| That the royal road to learning is full
of strange pitfalls is shown by sorne OF
the definitions and statements G,iven BY
school children-some OF whom are wen
along the way. The following are bona
fde samples coming under the knowledge
| About this time Columbus Was ours
ing around the West Indies.
| Jackson's campaign in the Valley was
the greatest piece Of millinery work ever
known.
Slain. and the FalEa!la the Haulers OF
the Slain.
The eldest son Of the King of France is
called The Dolphin.
| The Duke OF Clarence, according to his
usual custom. WAS killed in battle.
Heatncn are paraSons pagans) that
wash Up idle things.
| The Indians call their women squads
I-Iiarper's Weekly.
A short time ago some members of the
education committee visited a council
school in provincial t., town: 1t was 's h,
committee large and polnpus old gen
\ reading class Was called. and a
bright little fellow rose, and in mono
tone drawled through Il paragraph about
..,h. um. interrupted the chairman.
'.Win you please let that little boy read
that VERSE again.?
! The paraSla ph was given again pre-
Al. un.!" exclaimed the wise man,
smiling like Il pleased chimpanzee; why
do 2 you pronounce that word 'massa-
The younsstcr hung his head and made
no reply.
continued the chairman beniSnly.
There was Il painful silence for a mo-
merit; then the teacher meckly said:
Excuse me. Mr.. Jones but the fault
is mine. 1 think.,if that word is mispro-
nounced I have told the class TO 2ro-
nounce it 'Inassa -lier. W
! "Whv, sir, nlay i inquirer"
~ believe that Webster who complied
the great dictionary. tavOrs that pro-
ANNEXATION"
Impossible. sils'
We'll. that is a m:tter easily settled
suppose we refer to IL
The education committee chairman
seized the dictionary and hurrielIy turned
to the word. FOR 4 moment his face was
a study: Then he removed his glass
| II AMI perfectly aStonnded, sir, that Mr.
Webster should have made such Il mis-
take rs that. "-Lcndon Tit Bits.
Homer Folks the secretary OF tho
State Charity AID Society of New York.
referred in !, recent address I" the awk-
| WardneSs that charity workers feel in
making pablo appeals for funds.
And few charity workers. MIR. Folks
added can carry off that aWkWardneSs
with the neatness of the col"red preacher
who reminded his congregation that:
'"i3rudren, All kair't preach hyah an
board in helm. "-Washington Star.
In n Scottish town Il commercial trav-
aler vino called uD0p Il tradeSInan at
long intervals made a visit at Christmas
time. Here's a box of cigars" he said
To tho tladesnian. "and hope you'll! en-
Ma. nar' replied the trader: 'I
couldn TAX them-I never dae business
that way"
nut, tut-nonscnse. sir exclaimed
the traveller ''it's Just n Christmas box"
mo. ma mon. l rcver TAX anything
for naething."
well, wcl!-give ME n shilling for the
Lbox." said the traveller. If that VIII ease
YOUR conscience.
honest ehopkeeper. running his eye over
The silver he took from his pockets; Il
see I've got 4 tiorin herc-In tax two
boxes"
a gentleman owning sugar estate in
DeIncrara went out to visit il for the
first time. Tn" day after his arrival he
stood watching the runts brin&lng the
cane home. a yount: negro boy who vas
driving the mules. wishing TO increase the
speed of these. struck one of them with
his whip, Tie mule promptly , Responded nrd
dealt the hoy n kick or the head which
stretched him on tn" ground. wnere he
Law rubbing his woely pate on the spot
where the Kick had been received. %
us he hurt? Is he hurt?' cried the
planter in alarm. Il fun grown negro
hearing the expressions Of concern
spranG forward hastily and raising the
n:nle's heels. shouted out:
SO. boss. That mul" him walk ten
da,, 70 Il dav or Two, but linn no hurt"
t--CljaInbcrS Journal
Miss Blanche Bates, the actress. in
tie co1,rse Of a luncheon that size Savc
at Sherry's in New York I" her sister
artist. Miss Geraldine. farrar. said a
| witty thing about marriage.
In heaven. We are told" she remarked.
| there is no marriage nor elvin;; in mar
riace'
She smiled and added:
80 wonder: when there are not men
encreh even here to go round.
luncheon 1T the St Denis Hotel on Taes
dnv in honor of the Bishop of London.
related an anccdote OF Bishop Wilmer
of Alabama that was typical of the man
| Ore day after Bishop Wilmer mad ad-
dressed Il congregation in q small! Georgia
town woman Went to him add FOR more
than an hour told her tr"ibles t. rim
wound up by asking the Bishop to pray
for her.
night. Bishop she said. You will do
II viii not. madam replied Bishop
Utterly astorished and at the same
! time thoroughly cnragcd at this unex-
pccted reply she could at first only STAN
mer "Wny Bishop: why. Bishop. what
car YOU mean by telling me Eou Will not
remember me in your prayers? You
should ne ASHAMED To make such an an
swcr to ore in trouble
..That is Just the point madam said
Rishor, Wilmer. Il wouldn't Fray for
you Il 7 could remember to. but every
where 1 prcat there are ccneraiy Ser
| IIln
| done and conclude as you dc by asking
me to pray for them. That means that
in the course of each month several hum
1rnd nors0,S have asked r'a 10 lem:fn
Der them in my prayers. If I promised
10 do so would tell I, lie for my mem
orv is not good enough to retain al their
names I could not DO it: | would forget
some Of them. any how. No. madam.
cannot tell YOU will pray for YOU. al
| Wei Bishop, wont Won promise to
| mako nc an .Ncei,tion. ami promise to