davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

Great Bend is now talking of a straw
board factory. What town in the wheat
belt has not heard the glowing tales
OF the strawboard factory promoter?
asks the Wichita Eagle.
Hiawatha people are much amused
over two courtships there. A widower
goes to see a widow, whose son goes
to see the widower's daughter, and the
two men meet on the way almost every
Sunday evening.
The new telephone directory in FIRE.
donia is SO interspersed with advertise
ments that the Herald declares the di-
rectory resembles the racing score card
at the county fairs. By the time you
find what you were looking for the race
is over.
The feature of country fairs this
year seems to be the exploitation of
that the Douglas county fair was
abandoned when such a treat could
have been offered the spectators P
Lawrence Gazette.
The Fredonia Herald relates this tale
and very nicely refuses to give names.
ing the door of his consultation room,
asked: Who has been waiting long
est?" IT have" spoke up the tailor,
II delivered your clothes three weeks
ago.
An Emporia paper comments on the
tioneers are "coTonels." This is not
quite correct, says Charles Blakesley.
The rule is that an auctioneer is not
colonel until he has cried 500 sales.
However the records are not carefully
kept, and there are doubtless several
auctioneers calling themselves colonies
who are really only captains.
Quite little excitement was stirred
up on the streets the other day by the
announcement that a visiting girl was
the owner and wearer Of a directoire
gown" says the Erie Record. THE re-
port was unfounded, however, as the
gown proved to be a very modest af-
fair, one that the most exacting Erie
woman could wear and still retain her
self-respect and her position in the
church"
A new Central Branch story is to the
effect that If train ever gets off the
rails near Efhngham it will never be
able to find it's way back for the weeds.
The railroad company has not employ
ed enough section men to keep the
weeds out from between the rails.
Trains have been late regularly for a
month, and two reasons are given: The
engine cannot make time bucking
weeds, and the engineer has to go slow
because he cannot see much of the
track ahead of him.
During a thunder storm at Glasco
six boys who had been swimming and
were driving home were caught in the
rain. Four of them drove the team I'M
der a tree for shelter, but the others
refused to accompany them, fearing
lightning might strike the tree. While
those in the wagon were jeering their
companions for being afraid and MAX
ing light of their timidity, lightning
struck the tree, killing one boy, stun
ming the other three and killing both
horses. The Wichita Eagle declares
that the moral in this is: "It pays to
| be afraid
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
THE BULLDOG AND ART.

Some time ago Senator William AL
den Smith, of Michigan, gained ap-
plause by introducing a bill removing
the tariff on works of pure art. The
matter is one which has been discussed
ever since the tariff was established,
and other statesmen had before intro
duced similar bills only to let them die
in the committee room, but it was
hoped that Senator Smith would be
more successful Thus far that hope
has not been realized.
The present would seem to be a good
time for him to renew his endeavors in
behalf Of art and art lovers. The in
cident in which Mrs. Jack Gardner, of
Boston, has recently figured directs
public attention to the duty on art and
arouses public sentiment anew. There
is no competition at home with the
works of the old masters long dead and
gone, and it appears bad policy to
punish people who seek to bring into
this country, beautiful pictures,
statues and valuable works of re-
search. The Boston Advertiser states
the case very plainly. "A snarling,
blear-eyed bulldog" it says, "of uncer
tain walk and disagreeable temper,
valued at $4,000. can be imported free
of duty. A yelping, bowling, swapping
poodle of no earthly good to himself OF
| humanity, but valued at $4,000, can be
imported duty free. An obese, ungain-
ly and repulsive dachshound of a
value of 5000 can be imported duty
free. 1t is expected that all good and
wealthy citizens viii spend their money
in decorating the land OF the free with
high art of this variety and If the
animals are pedigreed no duty will be
charged. But any millionaire who tries
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record.1
Even a speak-easy may be called
hard names.
1t isn't a poor aim that causes q
woman to miss her husband.
A girl may be popular with a poor
complexion IL she has a rich father.
Children should be seen and not
heard, but all children are not deaf
mutes.
A man shouldn't feel that he is UNI
done simply because some fellow tries
to do him.
Few men are satisfied to be what
they are. The rich man pretends TO
be poor and the poor man pretends
to be rich.
First Acknowledgement is your
favorlte Quotation?" Second Once
holder-"One good term deserves an
other"
Good deeds never die" quoted the
Wise Guy. Perhaps not, but lots of
them seem to go into a trance" added
the Simple Mug.
Blobbs-"There is only one thing a
woman loves better than to be told a
secret" Slobbs-"What is THAR"
Blobbs-"To find it out for herself"
Don't you want to buy a talking
machine?" asked the agent. mot on
your life" replied the tired-lookinG
man. ct have wife and seven
daughters"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News.

IFrom the Chicago News.1
The burglar also has his get-rich-quick
scheme.
Don't hand your friends lemon; treat
them to Lemonade.
Try to love your neighbor as voIfseIf,
bus If you can't don't.
AIany a man believes in eternal pur:sh-
ment-for his neighbor.
Anyway. the man who borrows tTcdtle
isn't asked to return it.
Never insist on having your own way;
iust have 1t ard say nothing.
1t takes an optimist to anticipate pleas
ures he never expects to realize.
The only reliable thing about many
man is his habit of doing nothing.
The only thing that worries dead beat
is his inability to find enough victims.
There is no rest for the man who is
pursued by bill collectors and guilty
conscience.
Treat yourself with respect, II only for
the purpose of setting good example for
your neighbors.
The average man may know when ne
has said enough. but he seldom has suffi
cient self-control to put the lid on.
Occasionally woman fears death be-
cause she isn't altogether sure that her
husband will wear a black necktie at hey
funeral.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe

[From the Atchison GIobe.l
No one ever has good luck any
length of time.
It is the little driving party of two
that needs chaperon-
Almost everyone who can't sing was
at one time a member of a church
choir.
mother as his sisters, for fear she will
smell tobacco.
The women say there is one thing
the men can't do: they can't say good
bye gracefully.
If you are getting up public enter
tainment, avoid speakers: people are
tired of speakers.
Did anyone in the world ever meet
anyone who talked the Dialect found
in some poetrs and some books?
Few men can pass a woman wear
ing a new dress without turning to
look to see how It fits in the back
To save annoyance, a man should
use the telephone just as he uses his
revolver: only in cases of absolute ne
cessity.
This has been a peculiar season in
many respects: for one thing, worms
in blackberries had a peculiar flavor
this summer.
A man never enjoys a serenade, be-
cause he doesn't know the proper
thing to do at its conclusion. what
should you do when you are serenad-
ed?
| Another thing we would like to
know the truth about: When a boy
learns a bad trick, IS it the neighbours
boy who taught him, as his mother
| claims?
| Not many women die old maids.
Though there seems to be a great
many old maids in a town. most of
them marry some time, If their chance
is little late in coming. More men
| die old bachelors. After a man reaches
SO, he becomes very proud of the fact
| that he Is unmarried, and regards it as
a piece of cunning on his part TO have
escaped with 20 many women after
him.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Drinking is not only a failing with
some men. It's also their most pro-
nounced success.
y
Many persons cannot be blamed for
not taking a chance with any one of
a variety of fool-killers.
n 4 =
It's just the luck of some men to go
on a fishing trip and not catch any
thing until they get home.
y y
Some men would seem to need a
string around their fingers to remind
them that they are married.
4 =
When a courtship is carried on by
correspondence it may be properly
said that the parties to it are all
write.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

An excellent example of the caution
that is taken with the barn door after
the horse has been stolen is found in
the action of the banks at Coheyville
in equipping their buildings with an
elaborate system of electric alarms
which will ring bells all over the city
II any Of the bank vaults are tempered
with after hours or If robbers visit the
banks during business hours. Still. 1t
may be something of an object lesson
to the banks in other cities when have
not been visited by bandits. They
might we'll install such systems for the
emergencies of the future.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

Building activity in Topeka keeps
going on at a really tremendous pace.
The record for August is even ahead
OF the phenomenal one made in July.
What better assurance is needed than
this that Topeka is growing in a
steady, healthy manner? And it's
bound to continue to grow. The
methods of it's business men. in fact
the methods Of the men and also the
women of the city in every variety of
pursuits, are certain to win and to adj
vance in all material ways the well
fare Of the entire city.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

There has probably been doubt in
the minds of many persons as to just
what the Independence party, the
political prodigy of william r. Hearst
Is. or was, or will be. Such doubts can
be definitely set at rest by digesting
the definition of the party as 1t is
given by Charles Ferguson, whoever
he may be, in an article printed in the
Hearst newspapers. THE Independ-
ence parry" writes Mr.. Ferguson, ''is
the party of the arts and sciences. 1t
stands in general for a political econo-
my based on a sound technology" This
makes the reasons for the party and
its purposes plain to everyone.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

obliged to Va for writing-her foIlks--and
me-"
II am very glad that could help" was
the gentle response. 1T hope that YOU two
will be very happy"
Il didn't say anything about that" cried
Joe in surprise.
The gentle-faced woman only smiled.
For ten years she had mothered number
less girls. She did not have to be told
That Elizabeth had found her position
Copyrighted, 1905, by Associated Literary
Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
FULL LEASED WIRE REPORT
OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers Of the state Journal
AWAY during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
10 anv address Mt tIie rRte OF ten cents
q week or thirty cents a month fsy
mail onIy.) Address changed az Ufteu
as desired. While out OF town the
State Journal will be to you like q
daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions. to save
hoO<kPPntnU eyDPnSes
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

is great-yes. it is a great city. It
gives an impression of loftiness and
nobility to one who sees it for the
first time. It is like Babylon, but
there is no desert here" Perhaps Mr..
Nabuco will form a different opinion
of the Windy City after he takes sec
ond look. He'll certainly find an
oasis or two for the thirsty that ought
to remind him of the desert.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR.
IFrom the New York Press.1

from the New York Press
woman's deception has more
truth in 1t than a mans integrity.
The reason mother thinks tha
baby looks like its father is Il doesn't \
Most people either have no brains
or they have them and don't know
what to do with them.
A girls idea of surrenderine IN
man is when she catches him in a wsb
OF her own spinning
When a woman admires her hrs
bband's whiskers 1t is after she he.
given up in desl,a1- trying To m@to
him have them on.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

Folks living along the Kansas lines
OF the Missouri Pacific will be
greatly surprised by the statement of
Frank L. Ronemus, grand chief of
the Brotherhood of Railway Carmen
of America. to the effect that the rail-
road has 10000 broken down freight
cars which are out of commission.
Few people probably had any idea
that the Missouri Pacific ever had this
number of cars, in or out of con-
dftfon
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
ERON OTHER PENS
TOO MANY LAWS.

We suffer from too much lCr7 and
from too little enforcement. Every man
with a grievance wants a law passed
for it's redress. And every man with
an itching palm trumps up a grievance
to be cured by legislative enactment
unless he is bought off. Every evil has
a bill aimed against it, and when the
bill is passed the whole matter is for
gotten. Enforcement is left to some
commission. or bureau, or minion. The
public is too busy demanding new laws
to observe whether the old is being en-
forced impartially, or used as a lever
for extracting blackmail.
There is such a multiplicity of stat
utes that skillful attorneys can find one
somewhere for almost every purpose,
while courts are confused. TechnicaIi-
ties that balk justice are found in the
myriad of illconstructed laws. Excuse
for delay turks in the very number of
conflicting sets. The remedy lies with
the people. When they awaken to in
dividual responsibility for enforcement
of the laws we have there will be less
demand for more. We may learn some
thing from England in this matter. The
Englishman gives more individual at
tention to the rights he has.-Pittsburg
Dispatch.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

Mr.. Trickett, the special assistant
attorney general for Wyandotte county
announces that he is "going to see that
this prohibition law is damned down
the Threats of the people of Kansas
City, Kan, no matter how many men
It gags" That's just what he ought
to have been doing all along. It's ex-
actly what he was appointed for.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
WISE

he knows just what the nation needs
to guide it safely back
Unto the prosperous days of old, and
put 1t on the track
Ihat leads to riches. and he knows Just
what should now be done
10 curo the trusts. and he can tell, II ne
We're asked to run.
Just what he'd do: his methods he is
very proud to state;
But then. OF course. you understand. he
not a candidate.
If big BilP' Taft would list to him and
take his good advice,
He'd have the presidential Job already
packed on ice;
The platform no one would decry, If he
had written it,
For every plank that he'd have used
would be a perfect fit:
To hear him talk you'd think that it
was easy to be great,
It's hard to figure out just why he's not
a candidate.
In problems of finance he's versed, quite
plainly you can see,
Most fluently he can discuss elastic cur
rency;
All diplomatic questions he will settle
right offhand,
There's nothing in this government that
he can't understand:
And SO. when hearing him discuss the
grave affairs of state,
somehow you have to wonder why he's
not a candidate.
Detroit Free Press
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

One of the lawyers in the Thaw
case who has received more than
$4,000 for his services has brought
suit against Thaw for $4,000 more.
It would be interesting to look over
the books of this legal light for the
purpose of seeing any other period
in his career when he received 100000
or anything like It for his service in
any one case or any number of them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

Mr.. Taft rightly thinks that the ma
tional campaign of many issues, as it
is at present, will really dwindle down
to one chief question as to which party
has done more for the public at large
That's the question for each voter to
decide for himself.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

Kaiser Wilhelm expresses the
opinion that the peace of Europe is
not in danger and that it is really on
a firm basis. That helps some but a
glance at the budgets of the German
empire will show that Germany's boss
is preparing strongly for any little or
big war that might come along.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

If Mr. Taft is as successful in land
ing the fish in Lake Erie as he was in
capturing delegates to the Republican
national convention the piscatorial
pursuits of others in those waters
will not be exceedingly fruitful.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01

About the most popular gentleman
IN Chicago these days is Senior
Joaquin Nabuco, the Brazilian ambas-
gador to the United States, who is
there for a brief visit. And the reason
for this popularity is found in his re-
marks; Chicago Is like Babylon. It
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
IT am at the other end of
this string-WILLIAM MA
SON."

=
Mason when he was revived told his
rescuers he had been in the city two
days, having left the farm of his par
ents near Green Bay a short time age.
ct came to Milwaukee to get work. "
he said, land I have been in the city
for two days walking the streets and
searching for a job. I was without
money and I was hungry. I was dis
couraged and thought I had given my
self a chance at most everything, and
came to the conclusion that 1 was a
failure, so 1 thought I might as well
end it all.
But didn't like to have the folks at
home think 1 was lost, or did not want
to let them know where I was, SO hit
on this scheme, so that when some
fisherman or somebody picked up my
body he would know who I was.
II guess I'll go back to Green Bay.
I'll stick to home after this.
kee Free Press.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
Tied Message to His Foot.

That certain bravery of spirit in
William Mason, a farmer lad from
Green Bay, which looked calmly on n
journey from which no man returns,
curiously enough could not harbor the
thought that what was mortal of him
should be lost and neglected at the
bottom of the Kinnickinnic river or
Lake Michigan.
Fred Miller and George Parsons saw
Mason leap into the Kinnickinnic river
at the foot of South Pierce street yes
terday afternoon. Running toward the
river bank, they saw the man strug-
Cling in the water, and Miller, who is
an expert swimmer, leaped into the
river, grasping the drowning man
when he came up for the second time.
Parsons, in the meantime, had found u
long pole which he held out to Miller,
and his assistants had begun their
work of resuscitating the half-drowned
man when they noticed a string tied to
his right foot. Miller pulled on the
string, and noticed a bottle floating on
the river which moved toward the
shore.
The bottle was attached to the
string, which was nearly 80 feet long,
and in it was a slip of paper which
bore the message:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
Iron Frog Inside of Snake.

John Wax, residing on farm adJoin-
ing Newport, Perry county. had a large
cast-iron metal frog, Weighing four
pounds. painted green, which he used
in his house to hold the door open.
Monday the frog disappeared and he
chastised his grandson for throwing 1t
in the well which the little fellow in
dignantly denied.
Yesterday James Bistline, the Re-
publican boss of Oliver township. was
blowing in a field adjacent to Wax's
farm, when he discovered a blacksnake
Z feet long, alongside the fence.
He killed the snake with a jockey
stick, and noticing it to be abnormal
about the body, held a post-mortem,
resulting in finding two half-grown
rabbits and Mr. Wax's cast-iron frog
doorstep. - Harrisburg dispatch to
Philadelphia Record.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
HUNOR or THE DAY

Tom-I'm going to ask your father
tonight for your hand. Tess-But
you don't seem to be a bit nervous.
Tom-No; I've been both life insur-
ance agent and book canvassar-
First Bridesnajd-They are well
matched. don't you think? Second
Bridesmaid-Rather a grass
widow, and he's vegetarian.-Lon-
don Opinion.
Yes said D'Auber, the artist,
patronizlngly, I'm selling my cam
vases now at my own prices" ''Myi"
exclaimed the young art student. you
don't say so?" Eyes, 1 suppose you'd
give a great deal to be a great artist,
too" mo, indeed, I'd rather be you
Philadelphia Press.
Lady OF Uncertain Age-Ah, Major,
were none OF US as young as we were.
Major (absent-mindedly, but vaguely
aware that gallant answer is in
oicatedl-My dear lady, I'm sure you
don't look it.!-Punch.
In these days genius is the capacity
for taking gains.-Life.
Papa, what is the person called who
brings you in contact with the spirit
world?" "A bartender, son."-Houston
Post.
Held go to the end of the world
for you. She-You won't have to go
that far, I'm here.-The Sphinx
Old Gentleman-And if you had $500
and multiplied it by two, what would
you get? Boy-'Nautmobile.- Har-
per's Weekly.
Hewitt-My wife is up to date. Jew
ett-Sheath gown or Merry Widow hat2
HeWitt-Neither; she asked me this
morning If I had any emergency cur
rency.-Town Topics.
Medium Qmpressively)-It' the spirit
of your late husband, madam. He wish
es to speak with you. Mrs. Peck-It
can't be poor Henry, he never had no
! spirit.-Boston Transcript.
Teacher-What is it. Tom? Tom
Jimmy's swearing. Teacher-What did
he say? Tom-Well marin, If you say
over all the cuss words you know I'll
| tell you when you come to it.-Kansas
! City Star.
Stranger-Been a cyclone or an earth
quake round here recently? Officer
Nav this hyer's college town, an one
of the students had birthday party.
l-Harper's Weekly.
You say you acted like a perfect
lady throughout Sure, yer honor:
when he tips his hat to me an me not
KNOWN him, 1 ups with a rock an
caves in his face."-Houston Post.
Gould you bring yourself to live in
a fiat on 500 q week." Il could, Har-
old" answered the pampered yet I'M
1 spoiled darling. +But do not know
just how it would suit my French
maid. The Taller.
Preaching 1t Repeatedly-"You know.
Sam, it is no disgrace to have to work
for a living" NO sab; 1 knows it,
sab! OATS wat I allus tells my wife,
sah!''-Yonkers Statesman.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-09-01
The Roosevelt Ideal.

President Roosevelt's favorite cuss-
word is "by godfrey" His ideal for
strength is a bull moose. What Will 1t
be when he returns from his African
taunt? IT feel as strong as a bull
moose" will give way to something
like 81 feel as strong as a rhinoceros,"
or at feel as strong as a bull elephant"
What is the strongest animal? Some
travellers maintain that the anaconda
can crush an elephant in it's coils. i
do not believe 1t. In proportion TO its
size, the dininutive red ant holds all
championship records, but such a
ant" would not please the president or
his admirers. The moose smile is
pretty good for all purposes, for we have
in the king of the American forests
immense power coupled with high
speed, the endurance of a turtle, the
sight of an eagle. the scent of blood
hound, and the courage of a thorough
bred race horse.-Eew York RreSa.