Morris tribune., 1908-08-15
MY QUICK CHANGE

most trying to me In my connection is
when / am requested to play Sec
ondary part to some unfortunate gen.
tleman who considers himself qualified
by nature to play the first part. For
this / need not say | exact a double
fee, but the wear and tear of mI feel
ings are more than proportionate1y Sc
vere
fected by these deluded persons is that
of Sir Charles Coldstream in used
Up" Military men in particular who
have cultivated an impassive manner
and drawing voice are prone to i'm
agfne themselves fitted for this per-
Torrance, and many a Atty pound note
have had for playing the blacksmith
to very, very sad caricature of that
pleasant baronet.
was asked to do so down at GER
tain great mansion at Richmond one
Easter. At first positively declined
upon the plea that I was drawing
large houses as Lord Fribble in my
own theater and could not be excused,
even for single night, but the follow
ing letter persuaded me to accede to
the request:
My Dear Blathers-You must come, for
there Is no man in England I can trust
to play the blacksmith to my Sir Charles
except yourself AS for your theater,
that is easily managed. Your Lord Frib-
= g. I>xr1 osoI1 szo@~
q cab and catch the 1880 to Richmond.
USED Up" will be made our last piece
expressly to suit this arrangement, and
you can change your costume in the cab
or train. l inclose check for ECO, lest in
my hurry and excitement on the night I
should chance to forget It, Yours ever,
PLANTAGENET.
AS to dressing in the train, that was
not to be thought of, for only imagine
If there should be no compartment
without a lady in it! But to devote
the half hour I had to get to the sta
ton to dressing seemed feasible
enough. 1t was true that the piece in
which played Lord Fribble was gen.
orally concluded by 10, but a few more
minutes had to be allowed for in my
case, since I always had to come for
ward to acknowledge the calls from
behind the curtain. OF course might
have omitted this, but no earthly con-
siderations, or, at all events, no con-
siderations with respect to an amateur
performance at Richmond, would have
induced Alphonse Blathers to commit
such discourtesy.
At 1905, then, on the night in Ques-
ton l hurried from the theater in the
splendid attire of Lord Fribble and
jumped into the cab that was at the
door in readiness for me, while an at
tendant placed a carpetbag by my side
containing the costume Of the black
smith.
"Drive quick, sirrah." were my last
words and ''Ill make 'em spin, my
lord" I'm allusion probably to the
wheels), was the obsequious reply.
My perfwig was still on my head,
though my blacksmith's clothes were
on my body, when l passed through
Waterloo bridge turnpike, and never
probably had the tollman betrayed so
much establishment during his official
ceived my toll.
But the next moment | had thrust it
into the carpetbag with the rest of my
fine attire and became, with the help
Of a little lampblack, as genuine a
son of the anvil as any man whose car
riage has broken down on the road
would wish to see.
The clock in the Waterloo road
showed but five minutes to the half
hour, and all my thoughts were con-
centrated upon the question Of whether
I should reach the station in time. |
did reach it in time, though with
minute or two only to spare, and,
jumping out upon the platform, held
out my hand with shillings in it
to the cabman. 1t is always my GUS
tom to pay such persons literally, and
at first l thought the cabman's aston
ishment was due to the magnitude Of
the sum thus offered to his notice. His
eyes became the size of saucers, his
mouth approached the dimensions of a
punch bowl rather than those of slop
basin.
"None of your blood money" cried
he. ooh, mother of Moses, here's a
villain been and murdered hereditary
nobleman! Police, policer'
At that fatal cry the porters. who,
must say, had not shown themselves
very alert to take my carpetbag. began
to gather around me, and at the same
time an inspector showed himself at
the ticket Office door.
THAT man is mad" said l, address
ing this official. II have given him his
fare and a shilling over, and he won't
take it."
But the cabman had by this time
swung himself of his perch. "He has
murdered hereditary nobleman!' was
that idiots reiterated cry, which, be-
ing taken up by the porters, the pas
sengers and the passersby, presently
swelled into tempest Of accusation.
1t was vain for me in my black
smiths garb to offer a syllable of de-
Sa1