The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1908-08-06
LETTER FROM BILKISs.

bitionist, Sets q Bad Example
More About That Great Bunco
Game-Camp Meetings Are Rather
DemoraIizing.
| gee that they air holdin' county
conventions erround over the State
erlong erbout now an that awlways
sorter stirs me up. We dymakrats
can't rest when they IL anything ov
that sort goin' on. The reason liz
that we never know whar nor when
lightnin' IL goin' ter strike, an bein'
powerfully paterotick, we awlways
git bumfuzzled an NOR or less wild
eyed. Betsy awlways did say that
she never felt az much Uneasy when
started ter the war az she does
every campane year, fer | take hit
so hard when hit Gums ter polly
ticks. Az | am up In the mountains
this year, can't set my coulter very
deep an can only look on with anx-
ious eyes, with stear-stained eyes, an
see the battle az hit RACES frum one
point ter another.
Speakin' ov conventions, | hev Jest
read an account ov one ov the coun-
ty conventions in this seckshun. The
purseedins wuz published in the local
paper in full an hit must her bin a
a CRATE event. Ov course a few
pOllytishuns raked in awl ov the
plums while a CRATE number ov we'll
meanin', but misguided fellers made
desperate efforts ter land sumpthin'
juicy, an, az usual, some oy them
didn't git anywhar near the promised
land. Thar wuz nearly a hundred
delegates in the convention an sum
ov the candydates stayed in the race
fer county Offices a guide many bal
lots when they wuZ gittin' only a
fraction ov one vote in each ballot.
But they had their fun an felt az
big no doubt az the fellers that got
twenty-five or thirty votes in each
ballot. They had made the race,
some one had taken pity on them
an they got a fraction ov a vote and
stayed i'm the fight 1believin' that
they wuz raisin' cane at a CRATE rate.
An they wuZ.
l uster be in pollyticks myself.
When | first got in l thought hit
wuZ an easy game. Sumtimes I'd
git a vote or two sorter ter let me
down easy, | reckon, an I'd bile over
with pateriotism an sich things
But | never lost my head like Billy
Bryan an sum other fellers who air
awlways in the fite, hit or miss. In
fackt, | awlways thought l wuz
nifty lucky ter escape. Pollytishuns
hev a hard time ov hit an ginerally
lose out in the end. An they stand
a nifty guide chance ov fallin' into
the hands ov ole Nick, an that would
be worse than failin' ter git an Of
flee, though sum seem ter think
otherwise, judgin' frum the desper-
ate an wicked chances they take ter
git nOmynated an elected, fer the
average man will loze hiz religion,
if he ever had any, quicker in polly
ticks than in any business that I
know ov. And they hardly ever re-
form. Thar may be cases, but they
are few an far between.
Well, l declare l don't know what
[ am goin' ter do with Bill Moody.
He il gittin' worse every day. From
the way he liz drinkin' l believe he
thinks another prohibition campane
liz on You will remember, no doubt,
that hit WuZ the drinkin' feller that
carried the late eleckshun. The
guide men an women who wuZ out
ter run the masheen, an the goody,
goody pollytishuns who wuz out fer
the loaves and fishes, went at hit in
sich a way that they used the drink
in fellers ter pull the cheStnutS out
ov the fire, an in that way they used
Bill till he feels so mean that he IL
ashamed ter show hiz face in COM
pany. Them pollytishuns air slick
set, however. They air settin' up a
guide many little brandy factories in
Alexander county, which liz one oV
the few counties that air ter flow
| with brandy and honey this fall, an
we air packin' our goods ter heaG
| that way. Bill he wants ter sample
some ov that brandy an honey, an
still he don't know how ter go erbout
| hit, fer he wuZ sich a leadin' pro
| hibishioniSt duriH' the late campant
| that he liz afraid sumbody will pin
| the finger ov scorn at him an CT!
''hipercrit' in a loud voice, fer Bill
wuz like a guide many other prihi
bishionists, he didn't agree ter pro
long the agony any longer than tn,
day ov eleckshun. Then, too, tn
sledge-hammer argument used tha
awl the ticker made nowadays IL ba'
an that the Ticker made after tn
comm ov prohibishun would awl b
made guide an pure, fer "medica
purposes only, had a heap ov In
fiuence on Bill The managers, tn
real managers, may deny this, bu
hit il a solemn fact that the abov
wuz the most common an most el
fective argument used ter carry tn
eleckshun in certain seckshuns al
| hit did the wark. Ov course hit WI
base hypocracy an az dirty a piec
ov deception az wuz ever invente
in private perlitical circles, but b
did the wurk an the bosses will hay
: to carry hit out or stand convicted
But, ov course, the men who promi
ed will git out ov hit or blame hit O
. some other person; they will lie
lam lie ont perhaps.