davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
AIkaIi Ike and the Yankee.

AIkSll Ike ana t1S ankSSs
"Eh-yahr' remarked Allzili Ike a trif1e
reluctantly in response to the tourists
polite and half yelled criticism of GER
tain amenities of life as she is lived in
the care free and wind swept occident.
81 didn't s'pose it would suit you, Mr..
Eastman. You New England people
think thar hain't nuthin' west of the
Allegheny mountains but sagebrush
an blanket Injuns!'
"Oh, not at all, my dear STRIP depre-
Gated the gentleman from the efete
east. 81 assure you that | hold the
people of the west in the highest re-
spect, and for many of your customs
and institutions l entertain the most
profound admiration. You are an en-
terprising, pushing, progressive people.
If any criticism could be justly offered
it might be that, in the midst of your
busting enterprise, you have not yet
had time to acquire some of the finer
shades that life in the older common
wealths has. For instance, one might
say without Offering the slightest dis
arrangement that you as a people are
lacking in repose. OF course
HUH calculated the ingenious
Isaac. IF we're lackin' in repose it's
burcuz we have suthin' better to do
than to sleep away our time. We are
alwers up an a-comin', If anybody
asks you And that's what knocksI'
every true, my dear sir But your
ah-progressiveness has its drawbacks.
It has made you a-pardon me-race Of
iconocIasts, and
Nope interposed Ike. Thar are
more Methodists around yere than any
thing else"
BEG pardon, but you do not under
stand me. An iconoclast, If you win
permit me, is not
by jung! That's 80! was thinkin'
about suthin' else. Iconoclast? Why
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Acknowledging a High Honor.

Archbishop Patrick J. Ryan Of Phil
adelphia once was invited to speak be-
fore the Philopatrian society, the mem
bers Of which include many of the
prominent Irish-Americans of the city.
In acknowledgment Of the round of APP
plause which greeted him the arch
bishop said:
81 appreciate your greeting, and I
thank you, my friends, from the heart
Permit me, too, upon this occasion to
express my gratitude to you for your
interest in me in naming your society
after me, the Philo-pat-rian society. 1t
is not every archbishop who is thus
highly honored. "-Lippincott's.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
The Anxious Mother.

The Anxious Mother.
The principal of a girls college while
talking to a friend was rung up on the
telephone. After a few minutes he
slammed down the receiver with the
exclamation, Great Caesarr
whats the matterY asked the
friend.
ooh, one of those doting mothers.
She has a daughter here whom she
idolizes, and she has just explained to
me that the girl is engaged to be mar
ried and she is very anxious about her
health. Heard we were having a
rainy season, and when l told her it
had poured here this morning she calm
ly asked me to call her daughter and
feel of her feet to see if they were
wet. And the girl is twenty-three!'-
Ladies' Home Journal.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Generous Restitution.


A few years ago there went to one
of the northwestern states a Boston
newspaper man whose mission it was
to write up lynching II that quarter,
although there had not been an illegal
execution in the state for a long time.
The natives took the questions of the
eastern scribe in good part and even
''jollied" him into believing that for
downright lawlessness the community
wherein he was sojourning was about
the most conspicuous portion of the
United States.
Don't you ever make a mistake in
these Iynchings?" guilelessly asked the
Bostonian. That is, don't you ever
lynch the wrong man"
"That happened once" put in some
one, "but we tried to do the square
thing by the widow"
"Indeedr'
Eyes; we appointed committee to
inform her that the joke was on us,
and we gave her the choice Of the
crowd for her second husband."-Lip-
pincott'S.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Property on Hoard Street
for Sale.

The house and lot on Hoard street
recently purchased from the Thomas
Day estate by Walter S. Martin and
A. n. Johnston is offered for sale.
The property has been put in good re-
pair for a home and will be sold at a
right price. Why pay rent when you
can own home for little money.
Inquire of the Mineral Point Real
Estate Agency at the Democrat Office.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Where She Had Him.

Where She Had Him.
A colored girl asked the drug clerk
for 10 cents with o. cou't plaster"
What color?' he asked.
Flesh cullah, suh.'
Whereupon the clerk proffered a box
of black court plaster.
The girl opened the box with a de-
liberation that was ominous, but her
face was unruffied as she noted the
color of the contents and said:
Il asst for flesh cullah an you done
give me skin cullah Ladies' Home
Journal
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
EIqin Price for Butter Fat.

For all hand-separated cream deliver
ed at the Spensley Il Hoare Creamery,
Mineral Point, Wis, we will pay this
week, ending January IL, 294c per 10.
for butter fat. SPENSLEY & HoARE.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Saying "Something Nice"


The young ladies Of the Thompson
Dry Goods company invited us in the
other afternoon to drink lemonade
with them, prefacing the invitation
with the remark that we must say
something nice about them in the pa
per, and of course we could not do
otherwise for they are all, without
single exception, just as nice and sweet
as they can be, and our only wonder is
that they have been allowed to remain
single so long-and some Of them, oh,
so long.-Marion Record.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
PASSED FROM THIS LIFE
Melvin Philip Ching.

Death saddened the home of Mr..
and Mrs. Chris Ching on Jan. 5, 1908,
by taking a loved one from their
midst. The cause of his death being
jaundice. He was years, and %
days of age.
The funeral took place Tuesday at
ternoon, with services at the house,
Rev. w. I. Walker officiating.
a little ray of sunshine gone from
the home.
GARD OF THANKS.
Mr.. and Mrs. Chris. Ching wish to
extend their thanks to neighbors and
friends, who sympathized with them
In their bereavement.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Only Paralyzed.

OHIy = at aIy zSU'
They were engaged, and their par
ents had impressed upon them prin-
ciples Of economy, so they began
economy in their days of courtship by
occupying a single chair.
John called one night, and after Mary
had sat on his lap for four hours she
turned to him, saying, John, are you
tired?"
John looked up, smiled and said:
mo, not now. l was two hours ago,
but now l am only paralyzed."
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Poultry Wanted.

Bring your chickens, turkeys and
geese to the meat market, of Enzenroth
& Jacka. The highest market price
paid.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09

W. J. Clark will be at the council
room, Mineral Point City, on Tues
days and Saturdays for the collection
of the taxes of the town of Mideral
Point.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
BIG UOLINIMENT

A sure cure for: Tumors and Cancers, Ulcers.
Sprains, Wounds, Wire Cuts and hurts of any
kind in Man or Beast.
Little Wonder Drops. cures catarrh, throat
stomach. and kidney trouble. bilious collie
A. W. Jacka & Co. Mineral Point, Wis.
I43 Hoard street.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Struck Blind.

After acquiring a considerable
amount Of money in the United States
young Englishman returned home
and decided to give his old father
treat by taking him to London. The
father had never been in a train be-
fore and commenced the journey with
many outspoken anticipations of dire
events. All went well until the train
suddenly dashed into tunnel. Bang
nose as he cried: 81 told you something
would happen, you young villain! I'm
struck Blind"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Mems Shoes.

You can buy a good Mems Working
Shoe from s1.25 and up at A. P.
Nelson's, two doors south of Jeuck
Bros. Neat repairing a speciality.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Stale Bait.

II abominate bachelors" said Joseph
Jefferson to a group of Yale Juniors.
1.-THE older they grow the more conceit-
ed they grow. l took one down peg,
though, the other day. He was talk
ing about this woman he had known
and that woman he had known, and
all these women, it seemed, had mar.
ried.
"'Why, you,' l said, are in danger
of getting left. Why don't you, too
get married before it is too late?'
"'Oh,' said the bachelor, with q
chucllle, there are still plenty of good
fish in the sea-
"'But the bait said isn't there
danger of the bait becoming stale|"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Why God Discrininates.

"Why does not God strike dead ev-
erybody that lies, the same as he did
Ananias and Saphira?" asked a Scotch
preacher who was examining the
school.
Because, sir, there wouIdna be ony
one left" replied one of the children.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Discipline at Any Sacrifice,

Discipline at Any Sacrifice.
Sir" said the bank president to a
clerk whose face showed three days
growth of beard, you will have to get
shaved"
But, SIR" protested the clerk, Il am
growing a beard"
"Do what you like at home" snap
ped the president, "but I'll have you
understand that you can't grow a
beard during Office hours. LIVERY
body'S.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Some Are Quick; There Are Others.

Some Are Quick; There Are Others.
What little boy can tell me the diff
ference between the quick and the
'dead?" asked the Sunday school
teacher.
Willie~wayed his hand.
"Weu, Willie?"
please, ma'am, the quick are the
ones that get out of the way Of auto
mobiles; the ones that don't are the
dead "-Everybody's
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Whom She Saw.

Whom She Saw.
Four-yearOld Marjory, the ministers
daughter, was confined to her room
with a cold She began to pine for
company.
81 want to see papa" she said.
"Papa's busy, DEAR" said her moth
err Presently the pleading little voice
was raised again.
81 want to see papa ever so much,
please, mammar'
mo, dear" was the answer. Papa
cannot be disturbed"
Silence for a few moments, and the
four-year-old parishioner rose to a
question of privilege.
Mamma" she said insistently, II
am a sick woman, and 1 want to see
my Minister
And she did
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
s sAGFTA aTP III & zaas

as goyernmet bonds, have doub e the earning
power, and interest paid just as promptly
There is nothing better. l invite 1nvest1ga-
ton by the most conservative investor.
E. J. PENaALLEGON, JR..
First Natl Bank Bldg. Mineral Point, Wis.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
The -
Scrap Book
How She Could Get Shock.

An electric car was derailed on the
main street. The conductor telephoned
for the work gang. The passengers
We're On one side Of the track with the
exception of one lady, who seemed to
be afraid to cross the rails.
In timid voice she asked the con-
ductor, "Would I get a shock if I put
my foot on that rail?'' pointing to the
nearest one.
"Not unless you put your other foot
on the trolley wire," he answered.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
Best Cheese in Town
l5c per pound. WALLACE BROS,
Unclaimed Letters.

MINERAL POINT, Sept. 17.-Letters
addressed as follows remain unclaimed at the
Mineral Point post office:
Ebert Marsh, Mrs. Joseph BAIL ~;
u l. Anderson, 2. J. Delaney;
Z. q, Green Miss Henryetta-
Oscar Mercer, 80 Mrs Frank Boulne;
Mrs. Della Collins, Louis Johnson;
Mr. L. Tonnen; B. r. Porter;
Leo Smith, Rufus B Smith:
Gerald White, W. g. 7. Penney.
In calling for above please say Advertised.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
A New Letter.

A New Letter.
Mother teaching her child the alpha
bet)-Now, dearie, what comes after G !?
"Whizt"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09

Their Interests ConfIicted.
I'D like to sell you this bottle Of
mosquito exterminator"
"No, stree! I'm a manufacturer Of
mosquito netting"
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
So Sudden.

So Sudden.
They had started for stroll. There
IS our minister" he said. I'm going
to ask him to join u.s."
ITO join us? Oh, George, this is so
sudden! But hadn't you better speak
to papa before engaging the minister,
dear?
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09

Tax Notice.

The n. T. Martin Estate carry a
large line of Spring Cutters.
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09
WHO SHALL ARBITRATE?

Now, who shall arbitrate?
Ten men love what I hate,
Shun what I follow, slight what receive.
Ten men in ears and eyes
Match me, we all surmise,
They, this thing, and I, that-whom shall
my soul believe?
Iowa County democrat. [volume] (Mineral Point, Wis.) 1877-1938, 1908-01-09

turkeys, Chickens and Geese
Wanted
at the meat market of Enzenroth &
Jacka.
The Washington times., 1908-09-20

cumsyances could not be SQUAD 20 con
done the crime
n rider " as committed for the most
trifiiEe cause-an insult n threat or
a blow being All sufficient FOR the tax
ing OF a life. And the courts Of the
long ago accepted such a defense. and
the murderer, except jn rare instances,
was permitted 20 depart free DUels
we're common. and were fought with
out fear OF interruption or punishment
from the law. IL thus was evident
thEt ones property was regarded as
more valuable than human life.
There was one case OF murder. how
ever, that was not condoned. but the
court committed serious 5Iunder IN
the execution 90 It's sentence. and sent
an innocent woman % the gaUows-
The first and only woman who ever
Was hanged IN the State OF Pennsyl-
vanis.
In the year 1900. there lived In what
since has become known as Logan
Square. Tn philadelphia, widow AMI
two small children. Logan Square Il
now in the very heart Of the CITY. but
IN those days 81 was far removed
from the center Of activity. One day.
the children were missed. and no trace
Of chem could be found FOR several
weeks. when a hunters dogs sc0yer-
ed their decomposed bodies living be-
meath a pile OF fallen leaves
4 storm Of public Indignation went
up against the mother, who was ac-
cused OF having murdered her chill
dren She was convicted after Z
speedy trial. and sentenced 20 be
hanged The execution took place
within few DAYS. and the hapleSs
woman was strung Up 90 an old OAK
tree almost AZ her own doorstep
tree which stands today in Logan
So. are. and is known as the "Gall0ws
The Washington times., 1908-09-20
DYING Man Confessed.

Scarcely had the woman been pro-
nounced dead. however. when mes
senger dashed up TO the scene Of the
execution. spTang from his exhausted
horse and declared the innocence OF
the hanEpan'S victim He related
story OF having found a man dying
IN the woods near Harris5urE, who.
before passing away. confessed 60
having murdered the children for re-
vcnge on their mother VINO had re-
fused 20 marry him. He story was
fully substantiated later. lut IL then
was TOO late 20 save the victim OF
public condemnation.
While the Western States cannot be
said 20 have had blue laws in the
strict interpI citation OF The words.
The Washington times., 1908-09-20

DO YOU remember when you were a
tile girl. how YOU played that you
.ere a fairy queen. or a real queen. or
..y old kind if q queen, and kept your
lJther busy cutting out gold paper
owns for your head, and lending you
r. yardstick for a wand
Do you reColIect that YOU sat up on
Op Of a plain kitchen chair piled high
With hassocks, fOotstools or cushions or
wen books out Of the readable shelves
# the bookcase
OF course. il was not so much fun
sitting up there until your feet got
pins and needles in them. but all the
discomfort was overbaIdnced by the
act that that wand, alias yard-stick,
vas an implement OF power supreme
md that with IT you "bossed" every one
90 your hearts content. 1t was waving
that wand that did the trick and kept
YOU happy and contented in your other
wise stupid role of queen.
Somehow r other women never out
crow that ave OF make-believe, that
rondness for dressing mp and pretend
ing they are other than they are
Out in Chicago. where many queer
things happen. there lives a woman
who has this tendency, and it has got
ten her into heaps of trouble. And she
blames il all on this queen business
with its wand waving prerogauve-
Il Was just this way. She met man,
not so charming a man, either, nor
Iovable. wonderfully brilliant, or witty,
or any other thing that you would
think a "charmer" would be. In fact.
he was just a commonplace sort Of a
man. who had a persuasive tongue and
a gift OF cajolery that was worth q
small fortune TO him
When the Chicago woman met him he
told her fairy tales. real. thrilling fairy
tales OF temples, fairy queens. and long,
trailing white robes. gold crowns and
thrones and, oh JOY! wands, wonderful
wands that could be waved In power
all the day long. And all these rosy
dreams were TO come true some day
when the man with the persuasive
tongue had the necessary money-such
mere basatelle. YOU know. hardly
worth the mentioning.
Md then ne went on to tell her that
The Washington times., 1908-09-20

the iEnominy % cell ls.aas- fscy
feU victims % tnef- appetite. OF tha,
NJ their lord and master. and dched
The stern mandate of the law by 59ii-
ing pot Of coffee or brOiIuE a steak
The law also applied 10 the officers
vino earned 81 into execution. and.
as thievery could 80 unchecked on sun
day. because no one dared 10 make
an arrest. 90 was decided ultimately
10 revoke the laws and permit greater
freedom in action.
The progress Of humanity ln this
country IN the last hundred years
is nowhere more rorcibly Illustrated
than in the revision or such laws
that made a capital onense OF crimes
that today are punished by term IN
tho pcnitcntlary-
Theft was one Of these. and there
were few OF tho colonies that did not
string a man on the gaHoWs for sucn
crime however trivial may have
been his Il-E0t gains. The steruncss
with which the penalty Of death was
meted out. Is Illustrated Do the case
Of man IN Massachusetts. who. ac-
cOrdinc 20 record. was hanged becsus
he stole a loaf OF bread with which
10 feed q starving family
u so happened that he selected the
home II the chief magistrate Of his
district Tor the theft aaJ the judge.
will that unrelenuuE severity Of his
time. demanded that the cuIprit's life
De fort -ited- The sentence vas speed
lily executed. and The court. after jus
uce had been satisfied. was the very
first to contribute To- a fuud to pro
vide for the destitute family OF the
man whose life hc had ordered taken.
such was the Interpretation OF jus
lice i'm those times
The Washington times., 1908-09-20

in tE= wonderful days when the fairy
tale: acd the dreams came true she
should be the queen OF whom he hal
told her
For the temple was &c be built some
day soon. very SOOn-it was only the
moI.,.e that was needed YOU know
marvellous temple Of palmistry. and she.
mird vcu, she, this quiet. plain Chicago
matron TO whom nothing wonderful had
ever happened. was TO be the prieste=s
and preside over all the subjects VINO
would be docking To the place Just as
soon as II WIS built. which would he
very soon. You know. as only the mon "
was needed
So the plain little woman handed
over an the money she had so as not
to delay the building of the wondrous
palace and incidentally TO delay her
wand waving reign
Another woman. for there wece many
OF them selected for the position Of high
priestess Of the temple by the willy man
of the persuasive tongue. said that the
eyes OF the professor were too much FOX
her. SO she believed all ,he told her and
gave him her best possession. a farm in
Michigan.
Nov wouldn't YOU think that by tie
time a girl had reached a marriageable
age, at which time she is supposed to
have reached years of discretion she
would have the sense not TO believe
everything that is told her.
Wouldn't YOU think that by the time
she does up her hair in marceis and A
pun or two and puts on trailing gown
when she dresses up. that she would
receive with a grain of unbelief the
wild and woolly remarks that are r,ade
10 her by mem
And yet time after time there CO Ies
before the public some tale Of the & -
libility OF women. some story Of femi-
nine idiots who believe the most i'm
possible stories that are told them and
turn over money for the most foolish
things under the sun. Not so very long
ago there occurred something of this
kind in a Western city. where a man
went about marrying all the women he
could hnd possessed OF a little property
After the ceremony he persuaded them
to turn over their money or property
10 him Then, Of course. he would be
The Washington times., 1908-09-20
Husband suffered Death.

In tile early part OF Fhc last cen
fury a Baltimore man made a fifteen
year-oId girl his wife, after roman
Tic courtship. The minister who per
formed The ceremony wGs deceived as
TO the age Of the bride, 50 was eN
Cmpt from punishment, but the hus
band suffered death at the hands %.
the law. because. in marrying Il gut
under eighteen years Of age, he com
mitted a crime punishable by the eN
IRENE penalty. The legislature of L..
revoked his law. with others OF
like character.
In All of the Eastern States, SuG-
day observance was required BY In,
code OF blue laws. and the penalties
Tor violation Of that day were MADE
especially severe In many places
these laws stu are enforced. with lit
tie less sevreity than in tie days to
wIich they especially applied IL re-
manned for d Philadelphia, however,
TO discover a remedy.
In some parts Of the Keystone state.
the churches were active n suppress
.lg Sunday business. ana. wherever
one of their agents found soda wa
ter fountain, cigar store. or ice cream
emporium doing business on the Sab
bath. an arrest followed Immediately.
In fact. anyone who worked on that
day was subject 10 conviction and
line
Interpreting the law in its literal
sense. a Quaker City lawyer found
that the ministers Of the churches
were earning their salaries by sunday
work. and. in behalf OF some of his
clients he preferred charges agdInsl
them and won his cases. The result
was that the ministers were glad
enough to cease their warfare and cal
truce. In Philadelphia, the Sunday
newspapers themselves were attacked,
but, by turning their editorial fire
upon the puritans. they soon succeed
ed IN routing the hostile forces.