The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-09-06

 you're not like the family"
 Before he could answer the old lady began to rattle off 100 stories about the IS ladies. She was chronicle of 50- year-old scandal. Then she took MT. Tit marshs arm and said: Come into the ge and tell me all about your 13 auntsr
 The young ladies followed, laughing. As a great powdered footman in yellow brooches slammed the door of the equip age behind him, Titmarsh caught last glimpse of Gus Hoskins his mouth wide open. smoking cheroot held rigidly, and his eyes staring at the cornet on the car riage.
 "Who was that hideous monster?" cried the lively old lady, that ojous vulgar wretch with the iron heels and the big mouth and the imitation gold chain, who stared at us so?'
 Mr. Titmarsh did not like to hear his friends abused. That young gentleman's name is Augustus Hoskins," said he. I've live together; and a better or more kind-hearted fellow does not exist"
 "You're quite right to stand up for your friends, sir" said the elder of the two young ladies, who was addressed as Lady Jane.
 ,"WeIl. on my conscience, so he is now,' said the old lady, and began at once to enumerate all the Hoskinses that she knew-the Admiral Hoskinses and the General Hosknses and the Sir George Hoskinses. and a score of other great .a,,a+x, for,iliaS af tho name.
 .'Ma'am," said MT. Titmarsh, "Gus's father is leather seller in Skinner street "a very respectable house, ma'am
 The young ladies smiled at this T like. you, sir,' said Lady Jane, flor not being ashamed of your friends, what ever their rank in life may be- snail we have the pleasure of setting you down anywhere, Mir. Titmarsh?'
 MT. Titmarsh explained that he had few hours off from the office, and that he should be very happy indeed to take a drive in the park if it were no offense' I'm sure it will give us-infinite pleas ure," said Lady Jane.
 "Oh, that it will!' cried the younger Of the two Lady Fanny, clapping her hands. And after we have been in the park" she added wickedly, we can walk in Kensington Gardens with MT. Tit marsh" Indeed, Fanny we shall do no such thing" said Lady Jane.
 "Indeed, but we will!'' shrieked the old lady. "Aint l to know everything about his uncle and 13 aunts?"
 Dozens of gentlemen on horseback came to the carriage when it entered the park and eomplimented Lady Fanny and bowed respectfully to Lady Jane, and had their joke with the old lady. whom they ad- dressed as Lady Drum. Lady Fanny seemed to be looking eagerly for soma one, which caused MT. Titmarsh to wink at Lady Jane and say, ''I guess the young lady is looking for Somebody" at which both turned scarlet and then began to laugh, as if he had said the funniest thing in the world.
 Presently a fine gentleman on a fine horse came riding up and Miss Fanny immediately betrayed that this was the Somebody.
 Let me introduce the Earl of Tiptoff to MT. Titmarsh," said Lady Jane. His Lordship growled out something and gall loped off again, leaving MT. Titmarsh to wonder how he could have offended the gentleman.
 He seemed destined to offend all the men that day, for who should come up but the Right Hon. Edmund Preston, one to His Majesty's Secretaries of State, as MT. Titmarsh knew very well from the almanac in the office, and the hus- band of Lady Jane. The Right Hon. Edmund was a fat, pale-faced man wha evidently was dreadfully afraid of the gray cob on which he was mounted.
 "Who the devils that?" said the surll- ly to his wife.
 ''Oh," said Fanny at once, with a sly smile, 'it's MT. Titmarsh, a cousin of grandma's hy the Hoggarty side. Don't you know the Hoggartys, Edmund?'
 MT. Titmarsh was quite amazed to hear of this relationship. Lady Drum, who had the mania of fancying all the world related to her, and had even claimed poor Gus Hoskins as a cousin during the ride, said at once:
 "Yes, we're cousins and not very far 
 intricate recital of Irish and English pedgrees till the Right Honorable said. Damn the Hoggarties, maam."
 He said it so energetically that his horse lashed out and MT. Preston, overcome with fright hastily accepted Lady Drums invitation to take a seat in the carriage. Mr Titmarsh would have offered to alight had the Right Honorable not been so in- solent. As it was, he remained comfort ably in his corner, which forced his maj estys secretary of state to ride bodkin. 'I was going to offer to ride your horse home for you," said he nnocently, "as you seemed to be rather frightened at it. But the fact is that I'm so comfort able here I couldn't move" | Lady Drums little eyes twinkled and her sly mouth puckered up with joy. we shall always be happy of your company, Cousin Titmarsh," said she.
 Hadn't you better invite this gentle man home to dinner?" asked Mr. Preston, | quite blue with rage. l "As we are going to your house to dine and you press it. l shall," said Lady Drum.
 I'm very sorry. I'm engaged" said MT. | Titmarsh.
 | "Oh, indeed, what a r'ts'7 said MT. Preston, gowering at his wife, who looked frightened.
 At this MT. Titmarsh spoke up and said: Why, ladies, as the honorable gent is so pressing, I'll give up my engagement