davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

is not only wretched nonsense from a lit
erary point OF view, but 1 am afraid it is
decidedly Off color in the matter of
ethics. and
Huh? How's that? Of color, is it?''
cut in Mr.. Jobson. bit eagerly. Whats
the name of the thing anyhow
It's that novel that everybody's been
talking about, called -Four Months. "
said Mrs. Jobson.
so that's the kind of vicious truck
you bring into the house. is it, growled
Mr.. Jobson with the greatest severity.
are old enough to know better. Why.
that things a disgrace. I don't pay
much attention to such stuff. but I've
heard about that outrageous piece OF
would-be fiction. and I am shocked and
ashamed to think that any wife of mine
should even bring such scandalous
thing into the sacred precincts of her
home, much less read it,
oh said Mrs. Jobson. Il imagine
that I am little bit too we'll along in
years to be in danger from any such in
fluences. and my only purpose in read
ing"
Madam" sepulchrally Interrupted Mr..
Job: on. none Of us is too far along in
life to be immune from the danger of Cor
rupt influences And it isn't a question of
that. anyhow. It's question of your
having decent sense of pride in your
self and in your home. That's what it's
a question Of"
But everybody on earth has read this
book, and. of COURSE"
And, of course, because everybody else
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

Well" said Mrs. Jobson as the job
sons retiring hour came along and then
passed. its bedtime. my DEAR
"Cm." grunted Mr.. Jobson. unhear-
ingiy. fiicking over another of the red
books pages.
Mrs. Jobson yawned and took three or
four hairpins out OF her air and
scratched her ear and yawned again
We'll" she said, after about ten min
utes. are you coming to bed. my dear?''
"Lemme lone" said Mr.. Jobson. IF
you want to go to bed, why don't you
go? Is anybody keeping you up?"
Haven't YOU been able. after this hour
or So to satisfy yourself as to the fool
1sh and therefore harmless character of
that silly book" somewhat mischievously
inquired Mrs. JObson.
"Oh, say. cut that stuff out. il you
please" erowled Mr.. Jobson. Give us a
rest, won't you? And quit that interrupting
me. Go to bed. I'll be up in minute
Mrs. Jobson. with a broad smile on her
face. went up to her bedroom. She took
plenty Of time to undress, and went
through all Of the face-rubbings and fea-
and things that women
occupy themselves with before turning
IN. And still there wasn't any sign of Mr.
Jobson upstairs, nor even the slightest
sound of him downstairs.
my dear Mrs. Jobson called out to
him over the stairs after about three
quarters of an hour, aren't you afraid
that you will feel badly in the morning
IL you lose your sleep, and
"Lemme lone. will you?" called back
Mr.. Jobson. 60 on and sleep If you
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

want to- Gee whiz. say can't YOU Iemm.
lone, woman?" ''''''
Mrs. Jobson always Is unable To sleen
until Mr.. Jobson has turned in, and ST,
sne lay and tossed restlassly for bours
and hours. Only once In a while She
heard slight cough or twisting about
In his chair on the part OF Mr.. Jobson
downstairs.
Along toward 5 O'Clock I'm the morning
she heard him moving about, and then he
came upstairs.
We'll. did you finish that foolish and
nasty book?" inquired Mrs. Jobson. ma
hcfously a-purpose.
Foolish and nasty. hey" grunted
MT Jobson. We'll. that's like you self
1Sh women It's like you particularly
You deliberately scheme and contrive to
keep all Of the good things To yourself
and never give me SO much as a smell at
EN- If you can help IL. You all but broke
lung trying 10 keep that book out Of
my hands. as a matter of course. You
hated to let me In on a good thing. That's
the rfppingest finest piece of fictional lit
erature that / ever read in my life that's
what 1t Is. and I'd hate to be so blamed
hypocritical and bigoted, and narrow
minded. and uncharitable. and pin head
ed as to call 1t foolish and nasty that q
what I would. IL there's anything in this
life that i can't endure or tolerate it's
SNUG smuggy. Pharasaical people," and
Mr.. Jobson crawled into bed.
We'll, II that man doesn't beat ANY,
thing I'm this wide world for keeping peo-
pie guessing" Mrs Jobson murmured
softly to her pillow
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

or less ungenuine We want to hOller.
but we can't. Therefore we suhdue our
selves unnaturally.
But the spellbnder. when he'e working
at it, labors under no such handicap.
He's up there TO say 1t. and to say it just
us bedinged loud as he wants to; and
when man who's got a nickefs worth OF
elOquence in his carcass is given that
kind of "A privilege. why. he's going to get
'em winaing out in front and no mistake.
He never fails TO get me winging, I'm
telling YOU that.
LAS say, it doesn't make particle OF
difference to me what the speilbinder
says along the line Of political argumenta-
ton SO long as he is inflamed enough
over what he's saying. And pOetical
enough There is always the big laugh
over the spellbinders poetical stuff when
It's set down in cold type. Maybe it does
look fiorid and things when it's served up
that way. But when the spellbnder's
exuding the fiorid stuff why. son. he can
have my little old gold watch and chain,
and he can drop In at my humble home
for supper with hot biscuits any time he
wants to. and / am all for him just as he
stands without one flea
"Hcd-dog il. there amt enough poesE
and sentiment and such like in this bloom
ing old world. anyhow. That's the way /
feel about it. And when the spellbiuder
begins to unuravel that stuff about every
body from the pine-clad hills of Maine to
the golden sands of the Pacific and from
the crystal-clear lakes of Michigan to
the palmy orange groves of Florida -
ma-an. but he gets the lump underneath
my neckband, and ] don't care hang
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

lars in ST. GaudenS medals TO a fivid slab
of passe pie that Washington will have
pay-as-you-e cars before very long
They seem-from what heard in Chicago
last week-to have come pretty close TO
solving the problem OF how street rail-
way company may collect from patrons
who make a practice OF beating their way
every chance they get. There's absolutely
no chance for anything of this Kind on a
pay-as-you-enter car. as the very name
indicates. You deliver your little nickel
or your faithful ticket. as the case may
be. and you get in. No ticket. no ride
You can't even put your foot inside the
car till you have removed the price from
your system.
In the very brief time that the cars
have been in operation in Chicago the
company's receipts have jumped by - per
cent. Just think OF it-@5 per cent. In
other words. before the introduction OF
the pay-as-you-enter cars one passenger
out of every five. of all the millions car
ried. was cheating the railroad company
out of the price of his transportation. \
high official of the Chicago street rail-
ways told me that himself. and he ought
to know Incidentally. the books of the
company show II. and they are the most
convincing proof. So. as far as the street
railways OF the Windy city are concerned.
you can bet your boots that the pay-as-
you-enters have come To stay. and as the
Washington Railway and Electric Com
pany. which is staggering along under a
heavy top load, is always looking for
some way to increase its revenue. tbs a
1O-to-1 shot that the able and energetic
George Harries isn't going to let any
grass grow under his feet. but will use a
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

known New York lawyer give her 4
trunkful of money and deeds to houses
and lots and other bijorterie. through
legal mandate. because. said she, he had
promised to marry her. and hadn't made
good The case not only was decided
against her. but she was arrested before
she could get out of the courtroom. and
now they have a perjury charge against
her.
In commenting upon this case New
York captain OF police. who used 10 he
jne OF the stars OF the memorable Byrnes
detective staff, told me yesterday that he
knew OF half dozen accomplished but
uuite constituencies women who up TO Il
couple OF years ago derived large anu
steady incomes from the business OF Su-
ing or threatening to sue wealthy elderly
New Workers. for breach Of promise OF
marriage The breach-of-promise game
began to go bad here two years or more
ago said the captain. and now these
women are operating the same game In
other parts OF the country. They operate
in different cities under different names,
and they exhibit Il marvellous vamplr-
ISL shrewdness in the selection OF their
victims As general thing they en-
deavor to pick out foolish elderly persons
with a penchant for letter writing. and
men. roo. whose social and financial
standing Is such that they will usually
arrive AT a compromise under threat of
snig rather than have the cases actually
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

ever. as he understood. founded upon fact
which related how famous train robbers
had started off on their great careers
by running away fron, home. just as he
meant to do, and how something always
turned up. pretty soon. to put them in line
To achieve a mastery over their chosen
avocation.
And SO the boy working very secretly
but deliberately, gathered all of his little
possessions together and wrapped them up
in big silk muller belonging to his
father. There wasn't much to be packed
in the muff1er. but stu he didn't care to
leave his few little possessions behind.
since he felt very certain in his own boy
ish mind that he would not return to
the home of his childhood for many, many
years. If ever.
1t was a beautiful moonlit night when
he decided to make the great jump. He
went to bed. or pretended to go to bed,
and waited for his parents and grown-up
brothers and sisters to turn in. Then,
with his little bundle tucked under his
arm he softly stole down the stairs open
ed the front door. tiptoed out after closing
the door. and. reaching the gate. turned
to gaze, as he felt, upon the home of his
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

He felt. too. that his folks would be
liable to thwart such an ambition on his
part were he to mention it to them. He
had the strongest kind of Il bunch that
We're he to inform his father that he
cherished keen and overma STEERING de-
sire 10 be train robber. why. his dad
would try every means in his power To
flag him. even to using the cd trunk
strap as Il means to the tagging.
He knew equally We'll did this boy. that
his mother would never. as long as she
lived, bestow her blessing and godspeed
upon him If he We're to announce to her
that he mediate faring forth to perfect
himself in the train-robhng profession
He felt dead certain that she would be
quite chagrined if he were to say anything
like that to her.
Consequently. as We have pointed out
it was powerfully borne in upon him that
the one course remaining for him. in view
of all these circumstances, was to get
his few little belongings together and run
away. After executing the running away
thing he felt quite sure that he would find
means at his hand 10 become a train rob-
Der. He didn't see how he could lose. lie
had read many pieces of fiction-ail. how
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

childhood for the last. last time.
He made directly for the freight depot
at the other end of the town. his idea
being that. az he often read in connection
with other runaway. heroes. he might be
able to catch an outgoing freight train.
But there wasn't an outgoing freight
train that night. and daylight found him
still hanging around the freight yard.
He was pretty hungry by this time. and
he thought of the usual ham and eggs
and hot mullins and things that he'd been
accustomed to eating for breakfast. Some
how, in the clear sunny light of morning.
it looked heap more difficult to get
started as a train robber than 1T had
seemed before he had started out. he
stood and watched some Of the freight
hands making themselves some line. not
coffee on a little stove in signal shack.
and his hunger became something nerce,
and he thought Of the nice clean table
cloth. and he
However, wait a minute. WAIT A
MINUTE.
Now. right here is the spot where the
funnyist Of the comic supplement kind
would get in his swift climactic action.
He'd proceed to tell how the hungry
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

lency Just imagine 16.O0O-some say
there were more-clothed and perspiring
mortalS jafnmed in hall built 10 noio
II 800 as an outside limit on one or Cnl-
Cages very worst days. which are Ia
nous as being fine preliminary training
for one department Of the hereafter. Even
sitting still every pore worked overtime.
and each and everybody Of the 16.O0-odd
had an Individual and involuntary Turk
ish bath.
That was bad enough. but just imag-
inc those poor nomiDators. some rat ana
some lean but all unhappy. getting to
their feet and making ha!f-hour and hour
speeches, waving their arms and elocut-
ing to beat the band while clad with de-
iightful appropriateness in frock coats.
waistcoats and choker collars. / thought
some of the distinguished gentlemen
would suffer total eclipse from exhaus-
ton, heat, apopleXy or something similar
and even Representative Theodore Bur
ton. the CIeyeland student. whose veins
are reported to run ice water instead OF
blood was wilted wreck when he mad
finished putting Mr.. Taft in nomination
Gov. Hanly of Indiana. vino boosted
Fairbanks to the nomnatorial fence. was
the only one who didn't seem to mind
the heat or anything else. He was frock-
coated Just like the rest-and he wore his
buttoned up. too-but he wilted not a
wilt and he mopped not a mop and he
tridkled not trickle. And not even
the constant cries OF Nominate him
quick and Get the hook. Get the
lnookY' had the power TO phase him. lie
thundered on to his carefully prearranged
conclusion and then sat down looking as
cool as a cucumber. He was the marvel
of the whole convention.
HROPPING the hot weather subject for
u n hit I'd like to wager a million dol
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

binder. The paragrapher hands him one
OF two In the nigh stats every time he
happens to think OF it. The three-line-
jokist puts one over on the spellbinder
when ne hasn't got anything else to do.
The big rumbles that do Pinch turret
editorials mooch out on to the firing line
every once in a while during the campaign
and stake the spellbinder to a series of
uppercuts and pivot swings about his
for-revenue-only eloquence. and all like
that. All hands have got the malIet and
the pan and the toastinS fork out for the
spellbinder-
And that's all right, let EN-.
AS for me. like the spellbinder. I'm
for him. I'm his plugger. I love to listen
TO the spellbinder. no matter what he
talks about nor what side he's taking
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

these waters scared to a sorrowful de-
gree of stiffness by the ponderous muscu-
larty of the hoodlum. and also as usual
there wasn't any regular peace preserver
ON board the boat to protect the pas
sengers.
Well, the bawling haw-hawing bum
was bUsying himself making miserable
the lives of the women seated on the for
ward deck-they couldn't move very well
from their seats because the boat was
jammed-when an &C i've. s. TT OF sinewy
looking youngish chap. with a pretty de-
cent kind of face. so to speak, and an
extremely square and rugged jaw, dressed
quietly. but quite up to the hour then
elapsing. strolled forward and observed
what was coming off. 1t was the first
he'd seen of the funnyisms OF the hully
terror.
For just about half a minute he watched.
from beneath rather bushy eyebrows the
conduct of the bad actor Then. Striding
M to the forward part OF the bow. he de-
lberately removed his coat and hat and
placed them In n neat little heap on the
deck. Then he addressed the crowd In a
mild tone.
Folks" said he. II beg TO request you
will all. with The children. retire within
the saloon for a brief period There's
little Job TO be pulled off hSre. and a
clearing will be needed
The terrified folks didn't quite grasp
what the young fellows Idea was. though
perhaps they suspected what he had in
mind. They all got up and passed into
the saloon. In the meantime the bully
was gazing at the sinewy young man
with d fieer OF mingled amusement and
scorn.
Hey Policy. wot d'youse t'ink youse IS
goin' t do?' he inquired of the young
man who stood quietly waiting for the
deck to be entirely cleared.
why. l am going 10 dust your conk off.
Chimmfe." the young man, whose should
ers. somehow or another. looked a heap
bigger in his short sleeves than they had
looked when he had his coat on, calmly
replied. Then I'm going to stuff you
into a, little dark place down below where
you'll have a chance to rub yourself and
think il all over.
The which, it is delightful to chronicle.
was no sooner said than done. The mix
cd-aler made tremendous rush for the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

portion At least OF his next new equip
ment allowance for the purchase of this
modern variety ofvehicle
With the pay-as-you-enters It's almos.
down. too. Instead of ringing up with hts
hands. he rings up with his foot. and is
easy TO keep tabs on him. and the ring 10
also opens the entrance door of the car
Tor the passenger who has just paid IN
enter. This knock down m antion re-
minds mo OF that historic story OF the
old avenue street car conductor who.
after many years of service on the horse
line on that thorough are. resigned when
the cable system was installed SEINE one
asked him what he was going 10 do.
Why. said he. I've resigned and am
retiring. ] VIII now live on my income.
and I'm pretty comfortably fixed. too
How Is that?" asked n friend. You've
been getting very small wages all thess
years. How did You save enough 10 I've
able to retire and quit all work.
Why. said the conductor. '';hc CON
panN never paid living wages. So [ uscI
10 talNe "a little each day ont Of the fares
] collected. But always divided fair
l never took more nor less than what I
considered my just share
And how did you determine that
asked the friend
Why" said the old conductor. cat IN.
end OF each day would take all tn,
money had collected. assemble IL IN my
open hands and throw It up TO tho roof
of the car"
And what good did that do?" asked
the puzzled friend.
"Iust this replied the old conductor
'all that stuck to the bell rope / turned
over 10 the company
SO here's to the pay-as- you-enter Hon
est FOLK Will welcome the cars and the
othet variety dassent express an opinion.
IRVING c. NORWOOD
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

lite iurk?', he asked her, ironically
Mrs. Jobson rested the book In her lap
and smiled pleasantly.
1T is not by the author you think"
she replied, agreeably. but it is very poor
stuff. I must confess"
''Oh, you must confess it. eh?" said Mr..
Jobson. well. that's something-that
helps little--when you nudge up to the
confessing stage. Poor stuff. hey? Well.
what the dickens are you reading the
poor stuff for. then. eh?
oh said Mrs. Jobson. lone hears so
much about these things. and Of course
one has to keep up
oh. one does, does one?'' cut in Mr..
Jobson. lone has to do what ones other
ones do--is that It? And where do you
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

most, of his most cherished sensibilities.
Therefore, after giving the matter due
and needful thought. the boy determined
that there was only one thing for him
to do. and that was to run away from
home.
Away from home, he felt. ne would be
able to indulge in his natural propcnsi-
ties without let or f1indrance.
Now. his most natural propensity. so
esteemed by him, was the robbing of
trains-far western trains.
The boy had a profound feeling that
he was modelled. cut out. fashioned. de-
vised and intended by nature to be the
greatest robber of trains that ever crawl
ed over the back OF an engine cab and
put the engineer under a sawed-off shot
gun filled with slugs.
He felt quite certain in his own mind
that never. by any chance, would he be
able to succeed at any other calling in
life than that of robber of far
western trains. wearing a mask, and all
that sort of STUFF
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

young man and tried to swing on him
with both mitts at once. but the Young
fellow happened to be elsewhere just at
that time. The shirt sleeved young man
then proceeded to trim that bully Just like
you We seen cooper go around a barrel,
maybe. The big hoodlum never got with
III two feet or hitting the sinewy young
chap, but every time he laaped forward
to make a landing he caught a left or
right-hander around the face or head that
sounded like ths cook pounding a round
steak with the rolling pin. Inside OF two
minutes he looked as if he had been toy
Ing with the young affections of a Brook
lyn trolley car going at full speed re
looked in fact. just as the young man in
his shirt sleeves intended that he should
look. Then The young man gave "A fine
eNempliiicatfon OF the pivot blow, which
is only known 10 the real nifty boxers IL
landed on the terror'S chin. and he went
down like an improperly stacked heap of
lumber overturned by sudden suuall.
Inc young man then bent over, picked UP
the unconscious ruffian as II he had been
a sack of spuds. threw him over his
shoulder. and toted him down To the glory
hole. which was pointed out 10 him by
one of the boats officers. The terror
was kept there till the boat reached Coney
Island. where. still considerably dazed and
more than considerably lumpy. he was
tossed into hurry wagon and conveyed
TO the calaboose.
The young man sat down after resuu-
ing his nat and coat and enjoyed the
plaintive fiddle-and-h harp music of the
Sicilians for the remainder of the ride
It's too bad this didn't happen when tho
sinewy young man was on the stage for
il sure would have been meat and drink
for his press agent. AS il was. II didnt/
get into the papers at all. The youV
man is no longer on the stage. howeI
He is studying art in Paris, and IS gtr
in New York on little visit
His name is Lionel Barrymore. hrlner
of Ethel Barrymore. and son OF asa
from crown TO heel, which is abouVhohsh
said considering the fact-w,1iG y mo-
generally know--that the iaH MauIirn
barrymore. his father, was re nme
the champion amateur pusiIiT Sh 'TneAi
Britain. /rt-r,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-06-27

swayed SO much as a quarter of an inch
from the straight path OF utter truthful
ness compel us to relate this story as
II naturally occurred. We know that
thus related N won't he bit humoristic
or comic-supplementish or ANYTHING hut
facts are facts. and We can't be side
tracked or switched in matter of this
character.
Therefore,
This particular boy OF whom We are
speaking caught n freight right out ~
Town on that morning following his run
ning away from home. and after some
vlcissltudes he finally fell in with the
BIZ Dalton gang. and he became a full
fiedged train robber and a blamed dan
gerous one, and after seven or eight years
OF robbing trains he was finally caught
somewhere in the Panhandle OF Texas
posse.
That's all. 1t is hateful. we admit. to
nave 10 deviate I'm this matter of fact
and disillusioning manner from the ac-
eepted standards set by the professional
iuEhyists. out truth is truth. and this 10
a FAMILY newspaper that prints nothing
but facts. and SO there you are.