Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-12-11
WAs THE SAsE MisE
And Likewise He Had an px
to Grind.

SOW Wutt YOU WANT,
What would | want with a cow?'
asked the Fifty-Foot Frontier.
"A COW has many uses" explained
the Sage of the Suburb. From her
hide we make leather for boots and
shoes and alligator travelling bags !;
her horns we fashion into knife han
dies, tortoise-shell back combs, mu-
sical instruments and pipes for sail
ors; from her blood we make puddings
that are highly esteemed by people
who like them her hair imparts CO.
hesiveness to the plaster on our walls,
and her hoofs make delicious calves
foot jelly, or glue, according to the
process employed, to say nothing of
the bones, which have various uses,
ranging from fertilizers to piano
keys"
Which is the more useful animal,
the COW or the horse?" inquired the
Fifty-Foot Frontier. You remind me
of a village debating society,"" he
added.
"lnasmuch as l am highly improv-
ing influence, l presume said the
Sage of the Suburb, complacently, II
might also mention that the COW i'm
parts, under gentle pressure. an opaque
white fluid composed 9: albuminoids,
sugar, phosphate and wafer, which is
secreted in the mammary glands.
1T is known as milk and may be
used either as beverage or in the
composition of angel food; or, coagu-
lated, it is manufactured into the ar
ticle of commerce called cheese The
scum skinned from the surface or
separated by centrifugal notion
makes very fair imitation of butter
inc. 1t seems to me that your chill
dren might appreciate milk"
They do said the Fifty-Foot Front
er. I'VE get it regularly from the
milkman. He sells ten quart tickets
for a dollar. I've used it for years in
the family"
Pardon me; you think that you
have" correct the Sage of the Sub
urb. In reality you are imperfectly
assimilating a calcareous mixture that
is rapidly paving your interior and
paving the way for future disorders
in the system"
I'm not much on arts and crafts"
said the Fifty-Foot Frontier. but I'll
be willing to bet that you can't use the
same material for paving material and
fresco work. You think that | want II
COW, do you?"
Il think that you need one," said
the Sage of the Suburb. You don't
know what a comfort a COW can be
till you keep one. You can't con-
ceive the luxury of an abundant sup
ply of fresh, pure, wholesome, sure
enough milk and cream until you have
enjoyed it.
You don't have to purchase tickets
for scanty, stinted measure of stuff
t, even If it has had a milky founda-
ticn, has been so contaminated, ger
minated and inundated that it is to-
tally unfit for human consumption by
the time that it reaches you.
With COW you get milk-milk
fresh from natures font-the rich,
sustaining, invigorating liquid that
makes the calf frisk and kick up it's
heels in frenzy of exuberant JOY. 1
think your children are looking a little
pale lately"
That's new one on me-" said the
Fifty-Foot Frontier. What do you do
just pour the sour milk on a griddle
and let it stay till it browns?"
That's the idea exactly" replied
the Sage of the Suburb. Il believe my
wife usually mixes in little flour and
soda and an egg, but that may not
be entirely necessary.
You take those cakes with some
good maple sirup and butter-thats
another thing. | don't see that there
would be anything to prevent you max.
ing your own butter. All you will need
beside the COW Is churn."
What does the COW do?" asked the
F1fty-Foot Frontier. i've heard of dogs
churning, but ] didn't suppose that a
COW would be Intelligent enough"
She furnishes the cream" said the
Sage.
But not the maple sirup? That's
extra?"
Don't be bigger idiot than you can
help" said the Sage. I'm talking seri-
ously now. If you had COW you would
have all the advantages that / have
mentioned, and buttermilk besides
You would have milk for drinking
milk for cooking and cream for your
coffee and your berries. You would
restore your poor children to health
and save large part of the cost of liv-
ing, after the initial expense of pur-
chase.
THE cost of feed is very little and
you can milk her yourself and be the
better for the exercise. You think it
over, and talk it over with your wife.
She's a sensible woman, and she'll tell
you that I'm right"
Well" said the Fifty-Foot Frontier,
as his visitor turned to leave, I'll
think IL over By the way" he called