The evening world. [volume] (New York, N.Y.) 1887-1931, 1908-10-08
There's Ten Feet of Perth
Mans Beard When It's
All Uncoilei.
AS LACE.
Wearer Learned TO Drape His
tiirSuteneSs Oh Chandelier
is He Sleeps.

ing age of twenty-one you Developed Il
airsuts growth about the lower part OF
your countenance that made you look
like old dog Tray?
Further. what would you do If at the
sge Of thirty-five the same chin curtains
were tanning your knees7
And still further, what would you do
L at the age OF fo-ty-flve they had
grown and grown ;in YOU had to carry
them IN = bag around your neck SOS
;he sheep wouldn't get tangled in them
or partridges take them for cover. or
you'd trip over them every time you
;ook e step?
But If, at fifty. they We're ten feet on
me whisker Inc and still breez.ng along.
what would You do?
Answer-"Shave en- off"
Not on your life you would not IL You
We're Alastair Wilkie OF Craigie, Perth.
Scotland, VINO is the engaging person
with all the attributes enumerated, and
who is now in our midst with his whisl1-
ers and Scotch accent seeing the city.
Carries WhIskers In a Grip.
To look at Mr.. wilkie you'd never
think 1t Of him. He tucks his beard
under his shirt collar. where 1t lies coiled
and cooled and cooled In a bag. till
there is no more of It showing than
that of a certain party al Albany. But
az that hlaste!-, except for his thick
tweed suit and heavv boots, and heavier
burr. wouldn't attract any more atten-
ton than any other honest Scotch gra-
zier and gamekeeper, which he is, II it
wasn't for his habit OF gong to church
with his canvas unreefed and kneeling
on 1t and 'interruptin the kirk"
At the theatre he does the same, and
they always have to put him in a box
so late Corners won't trip over IT and
hurt themselves and sue the manage
ment.
While in cur midst Mr.. Wilkie and
beard are ensoonced at No. 2i7 West
Twentyfifth street He had to have
room with a chandelier in 1t, right
over the bed, go that at night--do you
get it:-Sure. loop EN- right over the
chandelier. It's his own idea, too.
though he's not selfish enough to hog
me thought.
Mr.. Wilkie had an unpleasant expert
e7ce right on the threshold of our great
country. He was walking off the ship
with his bag OF whskers tucked under
his arm, when a customs inspector held
him up.
Assessed Him as Lace Importer.
Say. what you got there?" asked the
inspector.
"Whusker-r-r-s. mon, whusker-r-r-s."
answered the upholstered son Of Perth.
Well, they took him TO an office and
stripped him, and then they found the
whiskers. and they soaked him $50 for
smuggling Scotch lace into the country.
Outside OF that. says Wfkie. Mon.
,hey'e been g-r-r-rond."
Wilkie has one other grievance. II
seems some paper said he was over here
looking for a wife He's very angry
about that is Wilkie You see. there's
Mrs. Wilkie at home. and II the paper
with that in IL reached Scotland, why,
there might be things doing on his re-
-Irn that would strain relations between
himself and his whIskers
After using file on Mr. wilkes
brogue. his interview in regard to the
capillary thing runs about like this:
Signs # Them In Youth.
Il was twenty-one when / first noticed
1t coming on me-" said Wilkis. "and as
most every lad in Perthshire has a
beard / let II grow. 1t grew and grew.
and the assies all speeIed at me In the
l was going TO have the finest beard
IN the land II it kept on. like me elder
brother Alexander. who had whiskers TO
mis- knees-but ! passed him by long
ago Aye. It grieved him sore.
II found that the horses and the cat
tie were stepping on my whiskers
shortly before they attained their fun
growth he continued, and while
threshing they were serious menace.
VIII, once, when we were out in a bit
field wrestling with a sporan of bar
ley, my bear-rrd got caught in the
thresher and they were going to cur It
of. but cried
go Ma, ma, mon! Stop the thresherr
And they did. Yes. modern farming
imp ements are a great dee-traction to
fine bear-r-r-rds."
Beyond seeing that It Is neatly drapod
over the chandelier at nlrht. Mr. Wilkie
takes no extraordinary care of his
beard He combs It, he says. once a
week, standing on chair TO do So He
is thinking OF having It insured. as sew
eral times he has come near losing It.
He had to give up smoking for fear of
starting forest fire In his shrubbery
Stopped Doscart.
While Judging horses, once, at a fair
In Banrfshire. Mr.. Wilkie carclessly for
got TO do up his whiskers In their bag,