The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-03-13

''PRxpIcTKp axvNTKyw pLfxxARps DooR.
IN Dx WINTER"
about m large around as cornstalk,
and after surveying him for moment
the president said:
"Bruddcr Comeback. l l'arn dat you
am seriously troubled bout do world
comm 10 an endY
"Yes, sab. I H."
"You am lookin' fur II almost every
dayT'
Eyes. sab"
"And you am ready 10 rush fur n
front seat when do show opensf"
u want to GIT O good start sah."
"Waal. I'll see dat you do. | want to
say to you dat dis am no fool nlgger
club. De rest OF us believe dat de
world was put yere to stay. II has
been yerc fur millyons Of years. and II
am gwlne 10 continer In bisness TIL do
machinery wears out. Dat may possi-
bly, occur blllyon years hence BY
dat time II viii have been forgotten
dat slch long, lank. foolish man as
you have cher galloped around.
"Dar's been talk OF de world endin'
up fur do last 10000 years, and II has
allus come from people who am light
In do head. can't stop all OF 'em from
contincrin' dis SILLY talk, but | can
stop you. You am gwine to git up to-
morrer mawnln' different man. You
am gwlne to hunt fur n Job and find
II, You am gwine to work like boss
instead OF slttln' around de stove. You
am gwlne to pay up your back rent
instead OF lookin' for do end Of do
world. You am gwine to buy clothes
fur do wife aud Children Instead OF
rushln' for a front seat. You am
gwlno TO pass de evenin's wild your
family instead Of spookln' around and
listenin' for dc blowin' Of horns, You
am gwlne to do dis or you am gwine
to be dorpped from dis yere Limekiln
club wild sich thud dat II win break
bones. You can now sot down, and
Brudder Halibut White will erect his.
self"
Brother Hallbut laid the half OF a
raw turnip he was eating on the floor,
put away his jackknife and stood up
with folded arms, and the president
addressed him with:
.Brudder Hallbut, do news has come
to me dat on a sartin night two weeks
ago you dreamed Of seeln' a cross eyed
black cat chasln' a bobtailed white
dawg frew II graveyard, You dream
cd dat dream three times runnin', and
II affected you so powerfully dat you
got out Of bed and sot up do rest of do
night; also, you took 1t as a warnin'
dat anodder airthquake was comm
and am still sittin around and waitin'
fur II. Am | correct, Brudder Hail.
but2'
What the Dream Meant.
"Yes, sab. Dat dream means an
airthquake fur shore"
"Uml Did dat cat wink at you as
she was hustlln' dat dawg alongY'
Cant say she did, sah.'
did dat dawg sorter wave fare.
well to YOU wild his stump Of a tailr
Reckon not" .,..r5
"Waal, we will have to remedy do
oversight. Jist listen to me fur d
mint. II you have any mo- dreams
Of dat sort and I hear OF dem, an airth-
quake will start right under your feetl
1t win lift you up and bump dat hard
head Of yours ag'in de ceilin', and
when you come down you will be
frown over eighteen chairs and nine
teen benches, and de folks dat pick
you up win find your neck broken.
OATS plain English, and hope you
understand II. Dis am no dreamers'
club, and It hain't no airthquake club.
You can sot down and deyour de rest
of dat turnlp, and II ,Brudder Syntax
Green am among US tonight he may
arise"
Brother Syntax was on back seat,
irving tn flrura flift with fha rtI5h NJ =