davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

nice-pink for one room and blue for
the other-and that
THE matter is arranged. IL you please.
said Mr. Jobson i've told you ten or
fifteen times what | want and what m
going to have. All you've got to do is to
pick out the kind of wall papers l have
indicated and have the men come up here
and stick 'em up. The matters closed.
Gimme another cup of coffee, If you
please, and let me get out Of here"
Mrs Jobson after his departure thought
and thought and thought. When she got
through thinking there was a sort Of un-
usual box-like effect noticeable about her
jaws and her teeth seemed TO he set good
and hard She went down town anu
picked out a couple Of patterns of bed
room wall papers. On the following morn
ing the paperhangers stuck those two
patterns Of wall papers on the bedroom
walls. One OF the patterns was Il pretty,
CHEEKY pinkish figure and the other was q
dainty pale blue figure.
When Mr. Jobson got home that even
ing Mrs. Jobson led him right upstairs
to look at the new papering. He took
quick glance at the two patterns. staked
himself to an equally swift glance At
Mrs Jobson out of the corner of his eye,
gulped little. and then said:
We'll. for once you've done something
right, haven't you? That's exactly the
kind of wall paper l told you to get, and
DANCED if you didn't go and get it,
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

Strange, but folks don't appear to have
any sort of decent reticence at all when
they come across a short man with tall
woman or a tall man with very short
woman. Can't understand it. \ tall
woman with a short man is bound, in the
circumstances. not to feel very comforts
able with herself. and she's entitled to at
least the amount of consideration that is
melted out to the average human being:
but she doesn't get II, and neither does
the man in the case. Now, when i see
cross-eyed man or woman, / don't holler
out to folks with me. oh, see the cross
eyed man. Isn't he funny When / see
hunchback, l don't nudge the party
with me and say right out loud. Why.
look at that hunchback? Did you ever I'm
all your bawn days" When ! see a man
with a twisted mouth or a crook neck or a
club foot or anything like that, / sort o
turn my glance in the other direction SOS
not to let him think that I'm looking at
his infirmity. But I-we-don't get the
same kind of consideration by a long
shot Not, you understand. that I'm call
ing my shortness or my wife's longness
infrmities: but when we're in close con-
tiguity we're bound to attract attention.
and yet. at that, you'd think the yaps I'D
have the decency and the civility and the
courtesy and good feeling and things to
attend to their own blamed business and
let us alone Now, wouldn't you, hey?
But, as 1 say, ! don't mind 1t at al
any more-LIkE BLAZES. I DON'T
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31
IAML1N GARLAND's magazine con-

1hnAAISO . IhoS01AAS Soh-
tributions on the general subject OF
spirit manifestations undoubtedly have
attracted lot of attention. I even know
a newspaper man who has been converted
to the observation-disclosures -and-earth-
Horatio idea and is real enthusiastic con-
corning the activities of the disembodied.
But this newspaper mans wife, being a
practical sort of soul, will have none
of it. She SCOTS at him, and for months
he has been yearning for chance to
prove things, tG demonstrate the spirit
land in some forcible, convincing way.
T'other evening this Individuality,
wouldn't I love to mention his name
spent few busy hours at the Press Club
and then rolled home and into bed.
Next morning Mrs Newspaper Man.
ominCusly quiet, took him by the ear and
led him around their little fiat. 1t was a
journey worth taking. His coat hung
from the chandelier. his shoes were in the
oven Of the gas stove, his necktie graced
the butter dish, his trousers were in the
Ice box and the rest of his apparel was
in equally appropriate places.
Now" said the wife, what have you
to say for yourself?'
my DEAR said the newspaper man.
who is real quick in the head, even 'on a
morning after. you see! The proof l
wanted Is at hand. Spirits did this. The
disembodied are angry with you for your
disbelief. They did this to convert you
See?'
'.They might have saved themselves the
trouble" said the wife, caustically; u
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

chin. went to call. week or so ago, on
that cultivated Chinaman. Llang-some-
thing or-other. who represents the edu-
cational high-brows of the Flowery king
dom in the I.S.A.. and who was then
spending a few days in Washington. He
lad made an appointment. but when he
reached the hotel and went up to the re-
teption room he found another news
paper man of the butt-in species there
ahead of him. ACKNOWLEDGMENT other 3
secretary showed them both into the
presence at once.
The syndicate grasshopper paid his re-
Spects through the Interpreter and was
about to ask question when the Butt-in
began to butt. That happened several
times. whereupon LANG something
othel through the interpreter, informed
Mr.. Butt-in that he would have to wait
unit, the syndicate person got through.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

Right smack-dab in the middle of the
path or sidewalk, no matter how narrow
the path or sidewalk may be. No devia-
ton from the middle whatever. Nary
deviate Nix the swerve. Right in the
middle just as IL the baby carriage were
on track. like locomotive. and couldn't
possibly keep to one side or move out
little or anything.
Does the woman trundling a baby car
riage ever, by the remotest chance
think OF observing what Is known as the
rule of the road? Has she ever heard of
the rule of the road?
Oh, maybe, maybe she's heard Of 1t, but
does she observe it, or even dream of OBJ
serving it?
SHE DOES NOT. If she's heard of the
rule of the road which requires human
beings and trucks and wagons and car
riages and bicycles and automobiles and
things to stick to one side of the road
or path or sidewalk or park walk or what
motif she's ever heard of it. why, 1t
doesn't go with her for cent when she's
wheeling a baby carriage. Not any does
it. Not none.
If she knows about that rule of the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

seen in the early evening sky for the first
time since it's disappearance last April.
The beautiful Northern Crown is now
approaching an upright position in the
northwest. in the southwest the faint
summer groups, the Goat and the Water
Bearer, still linger while above these the
Great Square of Pegasus and Androme-
da with its wonderful nebula are in the
highest position which they attain
throughout the year Nearby Is the bright
planet Saturn, which in its thirty-year
journey around the sky has just passed
the Vernal Equinox, at ". Fig. 1. The
sun. which passes around the heavens
along the same path. v B. in the course
of each year will overtake the slow NOV
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

cute little swerver. You hastily hop to
one side to keep from being run down,
and then the woman with the baby car
riage pushes 1t right along. still in the
middle of the path. and everybody else
on earth that happens to be walking
toward her has to hop aside SOS to en-
able the baby carriage to claim and keep
and maintain the middle of the path. and
that's all there is to it, and what are
you going to do about 1t, anyhow, Mister
Crouch?
And die ever notice a woman stop a
baby carriage right In the middle of a
narrow park walk? She stops the baby
carriage for the purpose of coming
around to the front of it to give an adj
ditional dab at the ribbons on the baby
or to take pin out of it or something
far be it from the contemplate writer
hereof to know what they do to babies
when they walk around to the front OF
the baby carriage-and, of course, she
always stops the baby carriage dead in
the middle of the path when she does
this. Then. in leaning over TO tend TO
the baby. whatever she does by way OF
tending 1t, why, she. leaning that
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

road, she obviously takes 1t for granted
that it doesn't apply to her or to anybody
else trundling baby around in a baby
carriage.
For why doesn't it apply to her?
Why, because she's trundling a baby.
That's all. You see it now, don't you?
The baby in the carriage, yon know, Is
the importantest thing on earth or in
the waters beneath the earth, and. of
course. it's only reasonable and right
that the inhabitants of the globe should
walk around the baby in the baby car
riage.
(My. but it's mean man writing this.
isn't it0
The baby in the carriage Is the lamb
WHAT AM. Consequently, and, of course.
consequently. the walksts should. must
and have got to trudge all around that
baby carriage. and they ought to be glad
to have the chance. and only the most
contemplate, ornery kind of selfish crea-
ture would ever say a word about it,
much less write it.
The woman pushing a baby carriage,
then, takes the middle of the road or
path or whatever 1T is. Right square in
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

only very measly, mean and no-ac-
count male individual could write any,
thing like this that's coming now)
But you've noticed the way women be-
have on the streets and in parks and
things with baby carriages, haven't you?
Certainly you have. That's why this is
being written
Now, a woman trundling a baby car
riage has got rights. All sorts of rights.
She's got more rights than a few. EVEN
if she's only the baby's nurse, and not its
mother, she's there with rights and rights
to burn. And If she's the mother of the
baby in the baby carriage, why. the
worlds hat is off to her, and her rights
are recognized all the way from the
Boring sea to Beloochistan.
Sure thing. Certainly.
But
Well. what is adverted to. here and
now, is the way woman WILL trundle
a baby carriage right smack-dab in the
middle of the path. That's what you'v
noticed. That's what everybody has no.
ticed.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31
He took it with bad grace.

He took 1t with bad grace.
But then the interpreter started in
busily to translate the stream of sing-song
gutturals that flowed from the cultivated
commissioner. The commissioner wanted
to be informed concerning the syndicate
mans health, the health of his mother
and father. his sister and brothers. his
aunts and uncles and his departed an
cestors. He also wanted to know how
the syndicate man enjoyed his week
spent in the royal palace at Picking and
if he found the dowager empress q good
poker player. To which the syndicate
man replied that the health of the whole
syndicate tribe was exceptionally good.
and that the empress doWager was the
goods on draw. having touched him up In
their last seance for A taels. Then
there was lot more Of the same sort,
and when the interview was over and the
syndicate man got up to leave, Mr.. Butt
in got up too, dazzled. crushed and an
initiated and fell down the elevator
shaft. Since then every time he meets
the syndicate man on the street he
sprains his neck bowling. Disinterested
folks say he wants to kiss the syndicate
mans heels.
All of which, in view of the fact that
the syndicate man never was within
forty-leven miles of Picking. goes to show
that the Chinese are right on the job
when it comes to dealing with goats.
Delicate and efficacious. What?
CHARLIE HAMILTON. who came to
- Washington with Admiral Cockburn
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31
have believed in this variety Of spirits
ever since we were married.

Under Rooms and Board" in the
- classified ad columns of The Star was
published the other day a plaintive APP
peal by single gent who seems 10 have
been up against 1t. 1t is sufficiently I'M
usual to reproduce here and thus il goes:
Board and lodging wanted by single
gentleman who prefers TO retain posses
sion of the smaller pieces of his own per-
sonal property. such as combs. brushes,
shoes, socks, soap cravats, gloves. hand
kerchiefs, sleeve buttons, umbrellas and
other Indispensable articles in daily de-
mand, but which, because of the deleteri-
Gus touch of numerous foul and filching
fingers and many black and base and
baneful hands. are now but too frequent
ly and entirely absent from his room. and
never recoverable. For these reasons he
Is thus seeking more respectable and safe
and satisfactory accommodations. where
WHITE SERVICE only, within doors and
without, will ever henceforth be required
or tolerated. Plain living preferred. No
objection to the top floor. Stating terms,
address ARYAN. Box 81. Star Office
I don't know whether Aryan-which, /
imagine must be Volapuk for Crouch
has found as yet the celestial ante
room for which he seems to yearn, but
1t is very evident that his advertisement
has stirred up some folks who run board
ing houses. Many answers have fioated
into the Office, some of them facetious,
but most of them bitterly sarcastic. Here
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

way. takes up all the rest of the room
of the walk, and just when you re fgur-
ing on squeezing by on the other side,
where there is an inch or two Of space
left, why some other mother of baby,
or nurse. or somebody swings along on
that side and leans over the baby on that
side. and chucks the baby under the chin
on that side and says "Coochy. coochy,
coochy. little baby on that side (wonder
what babies think Of folks that do that
to 'em, anyhow?), and that, OF course.
takes up all the room on that side, and
then, of course, there's nothing else for
You to do but to Chamber up on the grass
and make a wide detour, like Victor Blue
stealing around the enemHs works at
Santiago. in order to get by and reach
your home in time to keep your wife from
jumping all over your wishbone for be-
ing late to dinner
No use in talking at all, a woman With
a baby carriage
well. 1t certainly must he mean man
who wrote that and isn't ii a wonder
they'd publish such a frightful attack
upon women and babies as that, now isn't
it, deed it isl
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

''Yes?" said she. feeling that the atmos-
phere was surcharged with something or
other and therefore going slow with words
Yep said Mr.. Jobson. raspingly- i've
been trying to unravel this: How long
would you mooch around this house dur
ing fourteen or sixteen daylight hours
without ever discovering that the place is
falling down about our ears?"
1.-The place falling down?" said Mrs.
Jobson, genuinely surprised.
..I-h-huh-falling down-just like that
replied Mr. Jobson. fatty. Going to rack
and ruin. Coming apart. Turning into a
last years birds nest. Failing into NOR
fification and decay
Why" began Mrs. Jobson, II had no
idea, really, that the house"
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

me way deep beneath the pelt when
they got off those bromidiom-like jok-
cites. Not any more. though. Not no
more. Got over that long ago. What's
the use? The world Is stuffed and clut
tered and loaded to the muZzle with
hoydens and leases and cut-ups and clips
of both sexes that have got to nudge in
these cheap little wallops or just swell
ND and bust themselves wide open. and
so i don't care any more. Not a little
teeny-weeny bit.
"As you probably perceive. I'm about
five foot four in height, and kind o
pussy and asthmatic and pauchy and
wafst-liney and all like that. Always
have been that way, ever since can re-
member Have always been on pretty
fair terms with myself, at that, and
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

back in 1912. and, with that foresight
which has been his distinguishing char
acteristic ever since. saw such a wonder
full future in store for Washington that
he remained to grow up with the capital.
stopped me on the Row the other after
noon.
Hist" he said. or words to that effect,
taking me by the arm. l histed and he
led me around corners, up and down
streets. back and forth, and around about.
until. finally. we brought up in the shad-
ow of the Monument. He paused. So
did I.
You write rotten poetry" said Charles.
Thanks said I.
$50 he continued. Il sat down the
other evening and dashed off a little
Christmas poem. It's a blamed fine poem
I'll let you have it for publication the
Saturday before Christmas. You can
sign your name to it,
Whereupon we beat 1t back to the Row.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

Man without any kind or sort or conslo-
Grafton or anything. Man who hates chill
dren and all like that. Man who
However, it's going to be written. 1t
is going 10 be writ nevertheless and not
withstanding.
1t has 10 do with the way women
handle baby carriage on the public
streets and in the parks and things.
(Oh, it's the surest thing you know that
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

very conspicuous object, described by
early historians as large and terrible,
and having tail more than 60 degrees In
length. 1t is now rushing toward us
from beyond the orbit of Jupiter. and al
though it will probably not approach SUI
ficiently near to be a striking object to
the naked eye until the beginning OF the
year 1910. the astronomers are already
undertaking a systematic search for 1t.
1t is probable that the comet will first
be detected by photography. 1t is known
by calculation that it is now just be-
low the star F. Fig. l. at about the po-
stion E. To this region of the sky deli
cate Photographic plates will be exposed
for hours, the photographer following the
rising and setting stars with his tele-
scope, as shown in Fig. ?. Ultimately a
plate will be obtained on which Q faint.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

/. JOBSON had
that let's start
something look in
his eyes when he
came down to
br e a K f a st one
m orn n 6 last
week.
ave just been
trying to unravel
something. " he
said to Mrs. Job
son by way OF
beginning.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

DIV. only a very
mean. ornery kind
OF a man could
or would write
what's going TO
be written right
now for this par
ticular little sec
ton of The Star
paper. Only d
very malevolent.
brutal. measly
sort of a man.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31
man

NEWSPAPER man
who used to be a
Washington CORE
spondent. but who
now labors for a
s Y n d i C a I e and
spends most of his
time grasshopper-
ing over the globe
) o'clocking with
bored queens and
tickling a n a g mic
rulers under the
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

HE short, fat man
was relieving his
mind.
Was a time" he
said. when I used
to be sensitive in
"a pickle : headed
kind Of a way over
the cracks the
funnyists made on
the subject of my
tall wife and my
self. Used to sting
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

KHOST people in Washington. even
IVA those who don't take a whole lot
OF interest in the national election. will
be happy when November 3 has come and
gone-if the campaign banners now hang
ing over Washington go with it. Why
is 1t, wonder. that the alleged like
nesses of candidates are always SO fear
fully and wonderfully made for campaign
banner purposes? That one hanging over
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

BY PROF. ERIC DOOLITTLE, Univer-
sity of Pennsylvania.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

TIL the approach of winter the
eastern half OF the heavens
grows continually more bril-
liant AS one bright constella-
ton after another makes it's
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

appearance I'm the evening sky. The large
group Taurus, with the beautiful Hyades
and PleiadeS. has now mounted half way
up to the zenith. the twin stars, Castor
and PolIux. have appeared in the north
east. and in The east. Orion, the most
magnificent constellation OF all, Is again
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-10-31

CHARLIE HAMILTON. who came to
- Washington with Admiral Cockburn
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-24
HAS LITTLE POWER.
President of the Swiss on Par With
Some American City.

New York. Oct 24-At this
time of presidential elections, the
Americans are especially interest
ed in other republics. During recent
years the power of the president of
the United States has gradually in
creased until today it is doubted
whether any monarch of a world pow
er has more influence in his country
than has our same president in demo-
cratic America.
An interesting contrast to this phase
of republican government is seen in
Switzerland. The president of Switzer-
land has no more power and not much
more pomp than a mayor of a second
class American city. The government
gives him $4,000 year as recompense
for his high labors and his elevation to
office is of no more consequence to
the average Swiss citizen than is the
election of a congressman in the Uni
ted States. Manv of them do not know
just who their president 1t. This is
accounted for by the fact that the
president is not elected under the same
system as in the United States, where
each man votes or thinks he votes,
directly for the president and makes
a personal study of his qualifications.
In Switzerland the president is chosen
by representatives and is usually un-
contested, the rule being for the vice
president to succeed to the office of
president
The Swiss have taken a particular
pride in the parliament house at
Bren. which is certainly magnificent
and worthy of that diminutive, though
sturdy, republic.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-10-24
PAUL COLDREN Is HERE.
Was First Paid Football Coach WASH
burn Ever Had.

Paul Coldren, the first paid coach
the Washburn football team ever had,
who worked for the college in 1898
and 1899, was in Topeka yesterday on
business. Mr.. Coldren is now in the
real estate business in Kansas City
with his brother, and is making good.
Mr.. Coldren was the star quarter
back of Iowa university before coming
to Washburn. He built up a great
team here out of raw material, and
defeated the Denver Athletic club and
Denver Wheel club, amony other i'm
portant victories. After leaving Wash
burn. he went to Denver and coached
the Denver Athletics. He has not
been coaching since 1900.
81 still keep close watch of the
Washburn team, and was pleased to
see the wonderful record the team
made last year. Mr.. Weede, your
present coach, is a mighty good man.
I don't know much about the record
of this Drake team which you are go
ing to play next Saturday. Drake beat
Coe college this year 8 to O. and Iowa
0. But you can't always tell by scores
how strong a team is. Drake has
about 5000 students, and was started
as a Congregational school. but like
Washburn. it has gradually become
nonsectarian. They will probably give
Washburn a hard battle.
ct think the Kansas university team
will be a strong one this year. Mis-
souri, expects to win the Thanksgiving
game but I don't believe they will.
Kennedy the Kansas coach is an old
head at the business, and .he usually
whips his team into splendid shape"