Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-04-03


come when we shall have universal
peace? Ryer-Not unless we adopt
trial marriages, Topics.
Please give me two bills for my hat,
one for ten dollars to show my hus-
Sand, and one for twenty to show my
lady friends. Meggendorfer Blaetter.
DO you really love me, John?" "Oh,
no l wear these summer pants and
this tramp oyercoat merely to appear
eccentric, that's Washington Her
aid.
DO YOU believe that men and wom-
en- should have equal rights?" well
l used to. but since I've been married
| don't dare TO say so.' Cleveland
Leader.
Mrs Honlihan (sobbing)-I never
saw We till tn day before me unforch
nit marriage. Mr. Houlihan-An' l
often wisht ye hadn't seen me till tn
day after Puck.
Phoehe-Yon would hardly know
Freddy since he got back from Monte
Carlo. lie lost all his money there,
and Eyeiyn-Hardly know him!
WHY, | shan't know him at ali ILLUS
trated Bits.
Old Hunks When | came TO this
town sixteen years ago real estate in
the block where l live was higher
priced than IL is now. Old Hewligus---
1t would be SO in any block where you'd
settle down. Chicago Tribune.
"oaicer," said the police magistrate,
what is the charge against the pris-
oner?" Having an internal machine
in his possession, your honor" replied
the policeman. Anarchist or chauf-
feur?' queried the magistrate.
go Daily News.
Father-If you marry my daughter,
are you sure you will be able TO take
care of her In the style to which she
has always been accustomedT Suitor
(who is In the wholesale buslnessl-
III guarantee IL, sir, or-or return the
goods ~ Pick Me Up.
"You said that IL l bought this sub
urban house could live like prince.
With malaria and automobiles, I'm In
! fear for my lifel" 'Well," answered
the agent. soothingly, think Of the
princes who live In fear of their lives"
Washington Star.
Mr.. Stub with illustrated weekly
Martha, here il picture entitled
Docking an Ocean Greyhound" Mrs.
stubb (fiarlng np)-I just don't want
law against clipping off poor dogs
Chicago News
Would You send man who uses
profanity TO Congress- Il dunno
answered Farmer Corntossel. COT
course, don't approve OF profanity;
but ia want him to be able to hold his
own In any of them arguments that
come up Washington Star.
Mrs. Gadsby (hugging dog ~ don't
know what we're going to do about
poor, darling Fido Mr.. Gndsby--
Humph. What ails hlm7 Mrs. Gads-
by lin SURPRISED - Why, haven't you no.
ever the baby cries?-Puck.
Mrs. Spenders wonder how you'd
like II il / ever got ''new-womanish'
and insisted upon wearing mems
clothes? Mr. Spenders-oh, haven't
any fear of you ever doing that. Mems
clothes are never very expensive
Catholic Standard ard Times.
"Do you mean to tell me you have
lived In this out-of- the-way place for
twenty years. That's right, stran-
ger; twenty years" But | don't see
what you find TO keep you busy"
Nothing. stranger. That's the reason
| like Louisville Herald.
YES" sand Miss Jiltham, "he was an
old fame of mine And when you told
him | was to be married next week,
did he seem sorry?" Eyes, he admit
ted that he felt sorry" replied Miss
Gabbie. did he, reallyf' "Yes, al
though he said he didn't know your
iiance personally catholic Standard
and Times
WI AS " ny dAt ~ NfNN't'N'''
Mrs. Murphy? Mrs. Muphy-Me by
Denny is GONNA home the day. Mr.. Ry-
ley t'ought il wuz for foiye years he
wuz STINT upp Mrs. Murphy--Me WIZ;
but I've got a year of for good behay-
vure. Mr.. Ryley--An' sure 1t must be
a great comfort for ye 10 have good
b'y ike that--Isondon Tit-Bits.
"You'n have 10 send for another doc
tor" said the one who had been called,
after a glance at the patient. Am l
so sick as thatY' gasjed the sufferer
II don't know just how sick you are,
replied the man Of medicine, but
know you're the lawyer who cross-ex-
amined me when 1 appeared as an eX-
pert witness My conscience won't let
me kim you, and III be hanged IL /
want TO cure sou. Good day"
yiear-John. do you--er-eyer use