The champion. (Arcadia, Fla.) 1895-1911, 1908-10-01
fairy Pipes.

and rarer as time passes, still finds q
niche In many museums. II Is a little
clay pipe, the bowl big enough to
hold a pinch Of tobacco the size OF a
pea and the stem an inch long and
the thickness Of violet stalk. 1t is
a quaint superstition that Of the
fairy pipe, and 1t still fingers In some
parts of ireland. There he who comes
upon a fairy ring must, lest the little
people" do him harm, leave In the
rings center fairy pipe filed and
ready for smoking. In the past fairy
pipes could be bought all over Ireland,
but they are hard to find now, and
most Of those In the museums are over
a hundred years old.
Simplicity In Writing.
I was obliged to write too young,
when knew only half truths and was
eager to set them forth by what l
thought fine words. People used to
call me a good writer then. Now they
say I can't write at all, because, for
instance, If think anybody's house is
on FIRE 1 only say, "sir. your house is
on fre," where formerly used to say,
"Sir, the abode In which you probably
passed the delightful days Of youth Is
in a state of Inflammation" and every
body used to like the effect Of two p's
In probably passed" and the two DIS
in delightful ys."--Ruskin.
Tho Time and the Price.
Have you some good shoes for
boysT asked the mother over the
phone.
1--WE have line of very serviceable
knockabout shoes, madam" replied the
salesman who had responded to the
call.
"What are the pricesr
-Four to eight, 81; nine to twelve,
s125; two to Eve, $3.50. madam"
II can't possibly be out shopping al
such an outlandish hour as 4 IN the
morning, but I'll Dc my best to get
there by 7:3e ~~olease save me a pair
at S1."z<Bep- library.
s>Gzt., oiles. shIsd Man.
GlWanfXS "a ioVhihb t'h tte
ble," said the cn6p who gives advice.
"Lookingl Lookinsl" explained the
baldheaded man irascibly. 81 don't
have to look for It. Trouble calls me
up over the telephone in the middle Of
the night, trouble knocks on my door
the first thing in the morning, trouble
swings to my coattail, all day long,
and trouble will follow me to the grave
when I dieg'-St. Louis Republican.
Making II Worse.
II cannot bear actors" lady at a
garden party remarked to her fascinat-
ing companion. "They are so con.
ceited."
"But I'm an actor myself" was the
rejoinder, "and surely you don't think
I'm concelted"
ooh, certainly notl" answered the
lady, In some confusion. IL only
meant the really good onesw ;
Proper Length Of the Foot.
A perfectly formed foot should, ac-
cording to ANTAGONISTS, be as long az
that bone In the forearm which ex-
tends from the elbow to the joint of
the wrist This semes to be abnormally
long In tall person, but Is the meas
uremept taken by artists. OF course
arms are sometimes out OF proportion,
being far too short for the general
height, but 1t Is rare that an arm Is
too long for the stature of the person.
John Bull Was Right.
On Fourth Of July Bill Nys was
walking in London with an English
man and grayely remarked that II
seemed to him curious Fourth be.
cause he did not.sseathe display Of
flags to which he waa accustomed on
that day. ~
But, me dear fellow" objected the
Briton. why should there be any dis
play? We were not victorious in that
war with you, you see."-Lippincott's
The Retort Medical.
ibid you pay your fare. madam
asked the conductor politely.
Don't come to me with your lspses
of memory" she retorted. What you
want to do is to see a DOCTOR
But had she paid her fare?" whis-
pered the man opposite her to bis
friend.
Certainly not" said his friend. II
saw her when she came in.r-New
York Press.
"wpafs the matter with your You
~ IA a - a