davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
English SCHOOLS Tvs, Mistakes.

The following are examples of the
mistakes schoolboys make in examina-
tions:
"Thc Complete Angler is another
name for Euclid, because he wrote all
about angles"
''Sir Arthur Wellesley. son of Pitt.
founded the Wellesleyan chapel people. :"
The masculine of heroine is kipper."
"A problem is figure which you do
things with which are absurd, and then
you prove it,
Opus est maturato--a middle-aged
man wanted
"Aequo otque parato amino mortar-I
shalldie in prepared, ST irits and water. =
I'm chef d'oeuvre-a clerk of the
works"
Les hors d'oeuvres-the unemployed.
"Caerulea puppis-a Sky terrier
"Amatory verses are those composed
by amateurs
Income is yearly tax"
The dodo is bird that is nearly de-
cent now"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

because they were engaged in more
profitable employment and work
more to their liking. Furthermore,
they do not care to associate with the
motley gangs that usually go to make
up the repair squads. Now that many
men are out OF employment it is
hoped by railroads to get a larger
percentage of Americans, who admit
teddy are the best workmen in the
world Formerly forty per cent. of
the 1aborers employed in the spring
work were Italians on roads between
the seaboard and the Rocky Mount
aims. West of the mountains, espe-
cially on the Hill lines, Japanese
were employed. In the southwest
Mexicans, Indians and Italians pre-
dominate, but everywhere there have
been many Greeks, Slavs, Poles, Huns
and other nationalities. Because Of
the financial stringency many thou,
sands Of these have departed for Eu-
rope. Now it is hoped to get the
work done by Americans.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
Looking Out for His Kinfolk.

when was governor of Tennessee, :"
said Senator Bob Taylor, of Tennessee,
ii received letter from an inmate of
the tate enitentiary of Missouri. MY
dear cousin, it ran, it amt fifth fer one
Nv yore kinfolks to be in the pen, an
wisht you'd git lie out eff you kim 1t
was signed Bob Taylor. W ich looked
as If the writer ought to be mighty close
kin.
Il sent it to the Governor of Missouri
W tn the following Endorsement: I wish,
if y1u en- conscientiously do SO, tat
you would turn this fellow loose, and if
ever any of your relatives get in the
Tennessee Penitentiary I'll return the
favor. BIT
Iheard Later, concluded the Senator,
that Fob had gained his freedom, but
whether through my efforts have never
learned. And he hasn't thanked me
yet. Washington Herald.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

A new profession, known as that OF
the 'two-legged dogs" has been intro
duced by the Paris authorities.
A tax o. 90 year is imposed on every
dog, and the owners are supposed to de-
clare them themselves. Msny of the
owners evade the tax by giving 81 a
year to their concierge. When the fiscal
authorities make inquiries the concierge
denies the existence Of the dogs and the
Revenue is defrauded.
The authorities are now paying $50 q
month to number Of men who can bark.
The men walk along the streets at night,
bark outside every house, and when a
dog replies take note of the address and
send round the tax collector.
It is hardworking profession, but for
those artists who have failed to get an
engagement at the opera and are fond OF
exercise it means bread and butter.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
Balm for the Aged.

The Aged Parent was greatly. very
greatly, in The dumps.
"For. look you," he said, II den't
know half as much as my oldest daughter
she told mo so hundred times; and
Jim and Bill can simply lay it all over
their dad when it comes to arguing, and
my wife says that if ever there was a
stupid man about the house it's me and
no mistake"
"But " we said. remember you have
the bulge on them in one Way. Limited
as your intellect may be, YOU are still
the only one of the bunch that can earn
the ily soup and salad y
The Aged Parent now smiled and went
his way completely treasured by our
specious reasoniog Puck.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
HOW 10 Apply PAINT.

Greatest care should be taken wl,eh
painting buildings or implements
which are exposed to the weather. to
nave the paint applied properly. No
excellence of material can make m
for carelessness OF application, any
more than care In applying 1t can
make poor paint wear well.
The surface to be painted should
be dry and scraped and sandpaDered
hard and smooth. Pure white lead
should be mixed with pure linseed
oil. fresh for the Job, and should Be
well brushed out, not flowed on thick.
When painting Is done in this manner
with National Lead Company's pure
white lead TRADE marked with THE
Dutch Boy Painter") there is every
chancestAat the job win be satisfac-
tory. White lead is capable OF abso-
lutte test for purity. National Lead
Company. Woodbridge Building, New,
York. will send a testing outfit free
to any one interested.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
AQuarter In An Egg.

Jailed for safekeep ng until their own
er could be located dozen hens inn
prisoned in the county jail at Lynn,
Mass, have repaid the jailer for the care
and attention bestowed on them by
leaving behind an egg, in which, inclosed
in the yolk. was quarter of dollar
The police found a negro walking
down the street one night with dozen
hens in sack. he was arrested and
the hens kept in a cell in the Jail until
the owner was found next morning.
Jailer Garfield says the cell was swept
Just before the bens were. incarcerated.
When he went there the next morning
an egg was living in the corner. He acct
dentally broke it and was astonished to
find the quarter.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
A Lapse of Memory.

A Scotch tailor and an Irishman once
had a. quarrel. They agreed upon a
hand-to-hand encounter, to b. fought to
o finish, and the one who wished to ac-
knowledge himself beaten had to shout
out Sufficient.
After full hours hard pugilistic
work the Irishman at last roared out:
Sufficient
No consciencep' said the Scotchman,
IF havena been thinkin' o. that word
for the life Q me" Pick Me Up.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

Washington, d. C.-Some remarks
about conditions in the railroad
world which were contained in an In
terview with James ]. Hill in New
York brought out response from
Franklin X. Lane, member of the
Interstate Commerce Commission.
Here is part of Mr.. Lanes statement:
'The whole world has q great adj
miration for Mr.. Hill, but / do wish
he would not be so lugubrious. Jim
Dumps has not yet superseded the
optimistic Uncle Sam as the typical
American. A year ago Mr.. Hill said
that the railroads had failed to meet
the traffic necessities Of the country;
that there had been steady increase
In business which the railroads had
not met and that it would be neces-
sary to invest $500, 0O0,0 900 In pro-
viding equipment, double tracks and
terminals to handle the business of
the country properly. And now be-
cause for two or three months the
railroads have been able to handle
more business than was offered them
we are met on all hands with the cry
that the country is going to the bow
bows.
what is the necessity for painting
the picture blacker than it is? Does
It arise out of the fact that Congress
is in session, or that there is Presi-
Dental election impending? Is
man an enemy of the railroads be-
cause he refuses to believe every old
woman's tale that comes out of Wall
Street? dc not understand the rea-
son why at the time when railroad
credit should be upheld those who
ought to be most interested in sup
porting that credit are lending their
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10


ern Maryland, Gould coal road, to
go into the hands of receivers. That
action, 1t was announced, was forced
on 1t by the commodity clause of the
rate law, which, bearing as it did on
the roads prospective earning capac-
ity. affected its borrowing capacity.
The President, it is stated, has no
desire to add to the endorsements
which surround the railroads in their
efforts to comply with the law, and
as the question of the validity of the
commodity clause has been criti-
cised by competent legal opinion It
was thought best for all interests in
yolved that prompt determination
OF the question by the Supreme Court
should be sought. 1t Is understood
that the railroads have given assur-
ance to the Government that If the
courts decide against them they will
immediately and in good faith COM
ply with the law.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
Lost Her Taste fo- Work

A Richmond housekeeper had occasion
many times to employ certain odd
character of the town known as Aunt
Cecilia Cromwell.
The old woman had not been seen in
the vicinity of the house for along time
until recently, when the lady of house
said to her:
"Good morning, Aunt Cecilia. Why
aren't you washing nowadays?"
sits dis way. Miss Annie, replied
Aunt Cecilia indulgently. "I's been out
o wuhk so long dat now, when I can
wuhk, finds rs lost nah tas'e TO- it.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
NO CALL FOR BUSINESS PESSIMSM, SAYS FRANKLIN K LANE
INTERSTATE COMMISSIONER CALLS MR.. DUMP .
GIVES OUT ENCOURAGING STATISTICS.
Reports Much
More Per Mile Than Last Presidential YearThinks
Depression 10 Only Temporary
influence to breaking It down.

influence to breaking It down.
Let us see what these figures
show" said Mr.. Lane. 1.-THE average
monthly receipts from freight and
passenger traffic for each mile OF the
225, 200 miles of railroad in the Uni
ted States reporting to this commits
sion for the first seven months of this
fiscal year were $3.50, which Is $3.50
per mile per month more than the
average for the fiscal year ended
July /, 1905, the year of the last
Presidential election, which was GER
tainly not regarded as poor year In
the railroad or industrial world. The
net revenue from traffic allowing for
all: operating expenses, including in
creased wages and cost of material in
the fiscal year ending in 1908, is SGT
per mile per month greater than In
the year 1904-05. The net monthly
revenue for THIS fiscal year is thus
far 81 less per mile than for the pre-
ceding year 1906-07, which may be
taken as high water mark thus far in
the history of the United States
The interview which drew the
above comment is as follows:
New York City-James j. Hill,
who has arrived in this city, says of
business conditions: while / cannot
permit myself to be too optimistic,
am trying not to be pessimistic. The
general recovery in business which
has been predicted has not yet mani
tested itself to any remarkable de-
gree, and it is not to be expected that
it should. The prevailing conditions
were not brought about overnight;
they are the result Of events Of many
months, and revival will no doubt
be corresnondinglY gradual
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
A Bles sing. Not = Blow.

Here's a good one" said the tele-
graph operator ga dear old Methodist
minister came in yesterday and sent this
telegram t, conference that had as
signed him to charge: Acts xxi. 49,
He explained that the citation was. And
now. brethren. / commend you to God. >
Well, the careless operator at the
other end handed the message to the
conference so that it read Acts xiii. g.
That text, the bewildered conference
found on reference to its Bible, reads:
handed them who stood by to smite him
on the mouth.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
Jottings About Sports.

OF late yachtsmen have wondered
why the public does not take as live
ly interest in the sport afioat as it
did few years back.
Coach Courtney, of the Cornell
Varsity crew, has discovered a new
Varsity rowing star in e. A. Stevens,
junior in the College of Law.
New Orleans papers announce the
beginning of a campaign to abolish
horse racing in Louisiana. The names
of many we'll known men in that city
are signed to petition now being
circulated for presentation to the Leg
islature.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

When wished to eat my wife had to
raise me up in bed. Physicians were
unable to help me and l was going
down fast when began using Doan's
Kidney Pills. After a short time
felt great improvement and am now
as strong and healthy as man could
be. l give Doan's Kidney Pills all
the credit for it,
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo, N. Y.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

Chicago. The unemployed" who
are congesting the cities, subsisting
upon charity and menacing the peace
Of various communities, if they really
want work can find 1t with the rail-
roads of the United States at once.
This is the opinion expressed here by
leading railroad men. The wages
range from $3.50 to $3.50 day, in
Guiding good board and transporta-
ton. Within the next sixty days the
railroads must find 100000 men to
repair roads, bridges, Turkish up sag
ging tracks, build extensions and man
the shops, The ravages of the win
ter months have left much work to
be done, and it must be done speed
lily, for the railway managers admit
they see many signs of improving
business and must have their lines
and equipment in condition to care
for it. d
Americans will have the prefer
ence. Heretofore 1t has been impos-
sible to get Americans as laborers,
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
THEY GROW
Good Humor and Cheerfulness from
Right Food.

Cheerfu1ness is like sunlight. II
dispels the clouds from the mind as
sunlight chases away the shadows of
night.
The good humored man can pick
up and carry off load that the man
with a crouch wouldn't attempt to
lift.
Anything that interferes with good
health is apt to keep cheerfulness and
good humor in the background. A
Washington lady found that letting
coffee alone made things bright for
her. She writes:
-Four years ago was practically
given up by my doctor and was not
expected to live long. My nervous
system was in bad condition.
But was young and did not want
to die, SO began to look about for
the cause of my chronic trouble. /
used to have nervous spells which
would exhaust me and after each spell
It would take me days before / could
sit up in chair.
i became convinced my trouble
"dS CduSSu ny cOuee. i Qec1QeQ TO
stop it and bought some Postum.
The first cup, which / made ac-
cording to directions. had soothing
effect on my nerves and liked the
taste. For a time / nearly lived on
Postum and ate little food besides.
l am to DAY healthy woman.
my family and relatives wonder
II am the same person l was four
years ago, when could do no work
on account of nervousness. Now
am doing my own homework, take
care of two babies-one twenty, the
other two months old. l am SO busy
that ! hardly get time to write a
letter, yet do it all with the cheer
fulness and good humor that comes
from enjoying good health.
Il tell my friends it is to Postum
owe my life to-day"
Name given by Postum Co.. Battle
Creek, Mich. Read 1.-THE Road to
Wellville." in pkgs. There's Rea-
SON.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
Row's This9

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward
for any case Of Catarrh that cannot be
cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. j. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, o.
We. the undersigned. have known F. j
Cheney for the last Is years. and believe
him perfectly honorable in all business
transactions and financially able to carry
out any obligations made by his firm.
WALDING. kINNAx 4 MARVIN, Whole
sale Druggists, Toledo, o. MI
Halls atarrh Cure is taken internally. act.
ingdirectly upon the blood and mucuous sur
faces Of the system, Testimonials sehtfree
Price, 75c. per hottie Sold by all Druggists
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
Publicity.

ave don't hear so much about graft
in public matters as we did," remarked
the citizen II rega that as very
favorable condition"
st is favorable condition." replied
Senator Wadd These matters were
becoming altogether too public for a
spell. Puck.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
HIS SKIN TROUBLES CURED.



Later With BIood-PoisOn in Leg
Relied on Cuticura Remedies.
about twelve or fifteen years ago. had
breaking-out, and it itched, and stung so
badly that / could not have any peace be-
cause Of it. Three doctors did not help me-
Then used some Cutieura Soap. Cuticura
Ointment. and Cuticura Resolvent and be-
gan to get better right away. They cured
me and have not been bothered with the
itching since. to amount to anything
About two years ago had la grippe and
pneumonia which left me with pain in
my side. Treatment ran it into nv leg.
which then swelled and began to break out
The doctor was afraid it would turn to
blood-poison. used his medicine but it
did no good, then I used the Cuticura
Remedies three times and cured the break
ing-out on my leg. j. F. Hennen, Milan,
Mo-, May Is, 1907"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
A Gree ( Revival.

II went to see the revival of one of
the plays by an old Greek author who
lived such dreadfully long time ago.
Did you enjoy it?'
Ever so much. 1t was awfully quaint
and the gowns and sandals were very
becoming. And Pm sure never heard
such stately language.
S.'Who was the auLhor?"
"Erysipelas, think. .
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

complaints for many
years and cannot tell
what agony l en-
dured from backache.
My limbs were swol-
len twice natural
size ami my sight
was weakening. The
kidney secretions
were discolored and
had a sediment
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

China and cut glass that were used
on Washington's table at Mount Yer
non have been lent to the National
Museum at Washington by Miss Nan
ME Randolph Heth for exhibition in
connection with the other Lee-Wash-
ington relics.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

The royal northwest mounted poll
ice, after two years work, have cut
an S-foot trail from Peace River
through the Rocky Mountains to the
Yukon, giving route from Edmon-
ton to Dawson entirely over Cana
dian territory.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

If You Suffer From Asthma
or Bronchitis get immediate relief by
using Browns Bronchial Troches.
Contain no harmful drugs.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

II there is any one thing that a
woman breads more than another it
is surgical operation.
We can state without fear of a
contradiction that there are hun.
dreds, yes, thousands, of operations
performed upon women in our hos
pitfalls which are entirely unneces-
sary and many have been avoided by
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

Mrs Winslow's Soothing syrup Tor Children
ton, allays pain, cures who'd coic. 25ca bottle
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

Washington, D. C.-The Govern
ment will not prosecute railroads for
failure to comply with the ''commod-
ity clause" of the railroad law pend
ing decision of the Supreme Court.
That decision has been arrived at,
1t is understood, after careful consid-
Grafton by the President, and he has
accordingly directed the Department
OF Justice to bring test case as soon
as possible after May i. the day when
becomes effective the law forbidding
any railroad to transport any article
or commodity (other than timber)
manufactured, mined or produced by
such road, or in which it Is directly
or indirectly interested.
Thus any railroad that owns coal
mines would be liable to prosecution
should it carry its own coal to mar
ket.
The decision of the President fol-
lows the recent decision of the West
Feminine Notes.
Paderewski's wife recently paid
$500 for four live chickens.
Mrs. Stuyvesant Fish is said to be
New York's best woman bridge
player.
King Victor Emmanuel expressed
the wish that Miss Elkins should
have no dowry.
Mrs. Sage granted an appeal Of
little girls and gave back house she
had bought of their father.
The craze on the part of American
women for marriage with titled abr.
eigners is causing amazement Il
England.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

FITS, st. 7itus'D Dances Nervous Diseasesper-
manently cured by DIR. Kline's Great Nerve
Restorer. 50 trial bottle and treatise free.
Or. Il. r. Kline, Id. 1881 Arch ST., Phila. Pa.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

1t is said that Austria has produc-
ed more fine skaters than any other
country.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

Holland has 10,100 windmiIls, each
draining on an average of 80 acres
of land.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

Garfield Tea cannot but commend itself
to those desiring laxative at once simple,
pure. mild, potent and health-Riving. Ii u
made OF Herbs. All drug stores.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

Letters to the Emigrants' Informa-
ton Bureau of Canada need not be
stamped
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
AS Usual

De Style You say Miss Goirox is
clever ice skater Ian she cut the figure
eight? EB
Gunbusta-No; but she cuts the figure
seven, reduced from eight Harper's
Weekly.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

The soap consumption in India is
one ounce head year.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

Itch cured In 80 minutes by Woolfords
Sanitary Lotion. Never fails. At druggists.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
RAISED FROM A SICK BED
After Being an Invalid With Kidney
Disorders For Many Years.

John Armstrong. Cloverport, KY,
says: II was an invalid with kidney
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
LYDIA Z. PINKHAM's
VEGETABLE COMPOUND

For proof OF this statement read
the following letters.
Mrs. Barbara Base, of Kingman,
Kansas, writes to Mrs. Pinkham:
For eight years 1 suffered from the
most severe form of female troubles and
was told that an operation was my only
hope of recovery. wrote Mrs. Pinkham
for advice. and took Lydia E. Pinkham's
Vegetable Compound, and it has saved
my life and made me well woman"
Mrs. Arthur r. House, of Church
sRoad, Moorestown. N. J., writes:
] feel it is my duty to let people
know what Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound has done for me. I
suffered from female troubles, and last
March my physician decided that an
operation was necessary. My husband
objected, and urged me to try Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound,
and to-day am well and strong"
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10

Win Not Enforce "Comuaodlty of
Pending
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
FACTS FOR SICK WOMEN.

FOT Ln1Tty Years Lydia e. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively cured thousands OF
women who have been troubled with
displacements, inflammation, ulcera-
ton, fibroid tumors, irregularities,
periodic pains, and backache.
Mrs. PinIham invites all sick
women to write her for advice.
She has guided thousands to
health Address, Lynn. Mass.
The midland journal. (Rising Sun, Md.) 1885-1947, 1908-04-10
RAILROADS NEED 100000 MEN FOR REPAIR WORK

Americans
Admit They See Many SIgns of Improvlng Bushes
Western Kansas world. [volume] (WaKeeney, Kan.) 1885-current, 1908-12-05
Letter to A. H. Blair.
Wa-Keeney. Mans.

Dear Sir: Mr.. Frank Robin
son, Titusville, Pa, bought of
Devoe with good deal of feeling
against the whole tribe of mixed
paints. Our agents there,
Messrs. Kernochan & Co, got
him to do it, He says:
I am more than pleased with
the lob. I had one-third of the
paint leftover. / know of sew
eral other jobs, a year old, or
more, painted with Devoe, that
are wearinr well.
What a pity we have to all go
through the same school, to find
what paint to put on a house!
Experience teaches Isn't there
any easier way to learn?
Yours truly,
f w DEvOE & Co
New York and Chicago and Kan
sas City
Verbeck & Lucas
Paul Huycke & Co Ogallah
Sell our paint