Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-12-13

long ago you were rdtneT Il UAI VI q SCouP
or q bit of fool or both?
No, 1 wasn't scamp, but certainly a
good deal of a fool.
Good I'm glad to perceive that you are
going to be quite frank. Is it not fact
that you are in love?
/ believe it to be so.
Do you mean to say that you are not
sure?
1 am certain. yes-as sure of it as one
can be of anything.
Do you mean to say that there is a
doubt? 49,
No-but-
But. you thought upon previous oc-
casIon that you were in love?
All that was so different.
Explain! In what manner was it differ
ent?
At present 1 am possessed of worthy
love, the former object of my-of my,
Well. sir. why do you hesitate?
The fact Is l do not like to call my pre-
vious sentiment by the name of love; it
seems to me a pollution of the pure and
crystalline flood of
That'll do. May 1 inquire who the lady
was upon whom you bestowed your some
what verdant regard?
She was damozeI who presided over
the bottles at the Criterion.
You mean to say that she was bar
maid?
Yes, sir.
And pray. how did you come to en-
counter this Hebe?
). *
Oh-a lot of us were in London for the
day. Who goes to London goes to the
Criterion. Who goes to the Criterion sees
Hebe-that's it-several Hebes. This par
ticular Hebe was adored by all the fell
lows. l set myself the task of cutting
them out. The young lady was beautiful
When l first saw her she dawned upon my
enchanted vision like goddess. She was
pink and white and golden and plump
and lovely! 1 spent the greater part OF
that day drinking brandies and sodas and
sherry and eating stale cake and sand
wiches that were curled up at the corners
Patty, that was her name. Some of the
fellows, l found out afterward. called her
Patty de foie gras'; permitted me TO
walk home with her sometimes in the
evening. She completely enslaved my
youthful affections. I promised to marry
her. / told Dad about it. Not all. no, 1
assured him l was in love with the fairest
her name. He should behold her first.
felt sure that her beauty would conquer
him. / escorted Dad to the Criterion. L
said quite simply, in a Napoleonic sort OF
a way: There she stands!" 1 thought 1t
would be like showing the pyramids to
the soldiers.
Not bit. Dad smashed every glass
and decanter on the bar and there was a
heavy bill for damages. Dad assured
atty in the most ungentlemanly Ian
guage that the match was broken of as
well as the bottles. Patty was about to
commence suit for breach of promise
when she changed her mind and married
a gentleman in a very short red coat ana
very long black trousers with stripe. /
met her the other day up Finchley way
wheeling a perambulator. The gent In
the red coat and the black trousers was
walking on ahead twirling a small cane
and looking about with II don't belong
think, Sir Algernon. you are to be
heartily congratulated upon very mar
row escape.
Thank you'll think so. too.
in love? A real love?
I adore her. She is before me always
/ dream of her-my first thought IN the
morning is Of her-I must be near her
always. When I am away from her L
have an uneasy feeling that 1 have lost
something, until / find her. My heart
gallops when I gee her-when leave a1er
it crawls. / am an idiot and madman-
when-when takes her picture and kisses
iD-when look at her picture-even her
writing-I can't stay away from her an
other minute! I'll go to her now-no. l
mustn't make a fool OF myself-shes
coming to dinner
There are Harry's letters-drat the boy
he never writes unless he wants some
thing (sitting down and taking up let
ters). Immediate! urgent-very urgent!
deliver acknowledgements at once!
Well, he's certainly in a hurry-fd better
open the last one-no use reading the lot.
The devil! What's this?
'.Algie: This is simply to say that if the
money is not here by O'Clock on Tues
day 1 shall blow out my worthless
BRAINS
Tuesday-why, today's Tuesday-and
it's o'clock! Let's see the first letter
"opens and reads):
..Played with Lord Rock, Sir Winslow
Sharper-oh. of course-got up-five nun
dred and sixty pounds in debt to Rook
and Sharper-honor! family honor! VIII
repay all from small income. You must
send at once, etc.
OF course-of course, and I'll send for
Master Harry to keep him out Of the
clutches of my Lord Rock in future. Col
lege life-nice place for innocent boys
brandies and sodas-cigars-cards-p
Well. here goes-telegraph blank
''Win honor your draft Fudge 4 Nc
Pherson-six hundred pounds.
"ALGERNON ALWYN."
Fraser-Fraser (rings belD-tell Foster
to gallop like the dickens to the village
and send this telegram-tell him to tell
that blear-eyed operator to stir his
thumbs-that telegram's got to be deilV-
cred within the hOur-hurry now! goes
outside)
What? Oh. note? Just come? All
right. Be off with the telegram. Oh
Fudge & Mcpherson? Business. l sup
pose? A womans hand? Fudge & Me-
Pherson always typewrite. "Opens let
teri What's this?
'.My Dear Sir Algernon: / am address,
ing myself to you in the hope that,
dreadful as this communication must nee
essarily be-and--believe me, no less
dreadful for you to receive than for me
to write-it will come less harshly from
one whom you have known SO long and
who was once your dear mothers devoted
companion and friend. My poor husband
is SO stricken by the blow which has sud
denly blasted our happiness that he has
fallen into a stupOr from which, ] fear.
nothing but miracle can rouse him.
Dear SIR Algernon. l will not keep you
in suspense, but tell you brfefy-and
perhaps you will saw brutally-that our
senior partner. Mr.. Fud"e. to whom NV
husband looked up with such childlike
confidence and pr'de, left suddenly last
week for Australia. Yesterday nv hus-
band found it necessary to go to your
box for some paDers. the interest being
due on several of Your Investments. when
he discovered that the box was empty
every security OF yours which bod heen
I'm tho hands nf Fu5"e 81 McPherS"n
had disanpeared! Hoping AGAINST hope.
my husband searched ev"rv~here hut no
tr,co IF ycur rape-S could NE found. Tie