davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1908-02-20
1.-THE Blood is The ifo.n

science has never gone beyond the
Above simple statement Of scripture. But
1t has Illuminated that statement and
given it meaning ever broadening with
the increasing breadth Of knowledge.
when the blood is bad or impure it
Is not alone the body which suffers
through disease. The brain is also
clouded. We mind and judgement are
erected, and many an evil deed or impure
tnotght >p@>6e directly traced to the
smp0rssyo OF the bfo0dS Foul, impure blood
can be made -pnre BY the use of Qr,
flerce.s Golden Medical Discovery. IL
cQrlches and -purifeS the blood thereby
curing. pimples, blotches, eruptions and
other cutaneous affections, as eczema,
letter, or salt-rheum. hives and other
manifestations of impure blood.
o o O o o o
In the cure Of scrofulous swellings, en-.
iarged glands, open eating ulcers, or old
sores, the "Golden Medical Discovery has
performed the most marvellous cures. In
cases of old sores, or open eating ulcers,
1t is well to apply to the open sores DR..
Pierce's All-Healing Salve, which DOS
sesses wonderful healing potency when
used as an application to the sores in con-
Junction with the use OF Golden Medical
Discovery" as blood cleansing consti-
tutional treatment. II your druggist
don't happen to have the "All-Healng
Salve" in stock. you can easily procure it
by inclosing fifty-four cents in postage
stamps to Dr. r. V. Pierce, 663 Main St.,
Buffalo, N. Y, and it will come to you by
return post. Most druggists keep it as
well as the vGolden Medical Discovery"
o o o o Q o
You can't afford to accept any medicine
Of urknOWn composition as a substitute
for "Golden Medical Discovery" which is
medicine OF KNOWN COMPOSITION,
having a complete list Of ingredients in
plain English on its bottle-wrapper, the
same being attested as correct under oath.
DR.. Pierce's Pleasant Pellets regulate
and invigorate stomach, liver and bowels.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1908-02-20
!0HNNY'S CAREER.
The Same That Was Started by the
Cornell Widow,

Sheer nonsense rhymes and jokes
without apparent reason OF object are
frequently used to ill the pages of the
Cornell Widow. If anything more foot
less than the MAN of iicgedorf"
verse has ever been written. the Wild
ow wishes to state that her bump of
credulity was imported from Missouri
and must be shown:
There was a man from Giegledorf
Who, to save his BARRIERS fees.
Would wet his hair and let it freeze
And when twas frozen break II of.
The Widow claims the credit of orig
mating the nonsense rhymes whrh
dealt with the cleverness and prprnritl
of the bright little lad who c;,rc.pSsN
slaughtered his mother. father and lin
mediate relatives These poems il -
they may be- called. appeared III tn'
Widow In October and November. l9ihi
The same year they were collected a:I
published IN pamphlet form under tn
name Of The Johnny Book -" Johnny
started his career by IAN tragedy" as
follows:
She was dad before they missed her
Johnny's + us up { tricks
Amt he "ute?-he's only six.
Next we find that
Johnny VIII his little ak
Dealt his f.rother orful wacks.
He don't re If mamma kicks.
Amt he cute?-hes only six.
Later development Of the little romp
shows that
John has gone from bad to worse.
Now his fathers in hearse.
Smeared him with load Of bricks.
Amt he cute?-he's only six.
And so on until finally
Johnny saw a buzzsaw buzz
Like a bike and thought 1t wuz.
Johnny's corpse is full of hicks.
Amt he ute?-hes only six.
These verses terminated the Widows
connection with John. but papers all
over the country took up his nstruc-
tive and edifying career and pushed
it to finish. Still another verse which
started In the Widow office and trav-
eled all over this country and part of
others was the bit of "Eb and Flo"
doggerel In this we discover that
Flo was fond Of Ebenezer-
Eb. for short. she called her beau
Task OF tides Of love' Great Cesar!
You should see 'enl. Eb and Flo.
BY Itself this beautiful bit could
hardly claim place In volume of
great American poets. but when 1t
Travelled far and wide and received an
extra verse 1T each resting place 1t be-
came q pursuing nightmare. - From
Humorous College Journalism" in Bo-
hemiAn Magazine.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1908-02-20
Women tho Greater Dreamers.

A Vienna doctor has published the
following figures:
Thirteen men out Of a hundred as
against thirty-three women dream dur
ing their sleep. The number Of men
who dream frequently is q per cent
that Of women Is 40 per cent. AS Il
general rule. it may be said that the
weaker sex has twice as much tend
sency to dreaming as the opposite sex
The cerebral phenomenon under con.
sideration is absolutely unknown to (!
per cent. and II per cent dream only
very rarely.
1t seems idle to add that the same
doctor noted. what is perfectly we'll
known, that almost all our dreams are
suggested more or less directly by the
incidents of the material life Of every
day. Boston Advertiser.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1908-02-20
ALI Nee Primo Ministers.

An eminent surgeon was once sent
for by Cardinal Du Bots. prime min
lister of France. to perform very
serious operation upon him. The car
dna said to him. You must not eX
pect to treat me in the same rough
manner as yoa treat your poor. miser
able wretches at your Hotel Dieu."
MY lord" replied the surgeon, with
great dignity. ''every one of those mis-
cradle wretches, as your eminence Is
pleased to cal. them. is a prime min
lister in my eyes. success Magazine.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1908-02-20
Poles of the Earth,

The circle of the earth's daily rota-
ton upon its axis being the greatest at
the equator. the consequent greater ac-
ton there Of the centrifugal force dur
ing the period when the earth was n
yielding mass produced a bullying out
Of the surface in the equatorial region.
with consequent tlattening at the
poles. Thus we have an oblate sphe-
roid. with the length of the axis Of the
poles about twenty-six and half miles
less than the equatorial diameter.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1908-02-20
A Literal Youth.

why. Johnny" said Mrs Muggins.
what are you doing here at home?
Is Willie's party over?"
Nome" blubbered Johnny, but the
minute | got inside the house Willie's
father told me to make myself at
home, and came Harpers Weekly
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1908-02-20
Aelpinu Her.

you loved her very much?"
$50 much that when her first hus-
oand died married her that ! might
share her grief and so lessen it."
And how did it work?'
Fine, I'm sorrier now for his death
than she is."-Houston Post.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1908-02-20
Down In the Depths.

The mermaid way rummaging the
sunken ship.
Il want to see II can find one o.
those hand mirrors the comic papers
always picture. us as using" she said.
For vanity, alas, 4; not confined to
that compare lively insignificant por-
tion of the eurth's surface known as
dry land.-Chjcago Tribune.
Aberdeen herald. [volume] (Aberdeen, Chehalis County, W.T.) 1886-1917, 1908-02-20

The greatest tea-drinkers
are full = bottom Dutch
men. There isn't much
nervous prostration in
Holland.

Your grocer returns your money II you don't
lie Schillings Best: we pay him.
The bee., 1908-10-08
A Square Deal

Is assured you when you buy DIR. Pierce's
family medicines-for all the ingredi-
ents entering into them are printed on
the bottle-wrappers and their formulas
are attested under oath as being complete
and correct. You know Just what you are
paying for and that the ingredients are
Kathered from Natures laboratory, being
selected from the most valuable native
medicinal roots found growing in our
American foreS ts-Rad " lille potent to cure
are perfectly harmless even. 10 the most
delicate womeAa a 5childrUn.S Not a drop
of alcohol elleIE into their c0muOSlLlQD'
A mpcb -beffer a0eht is used -6oth IQr az.
uactIng and -preseIYIng LII -medlc end
pIInclRles used I'm themA yin. -1s-QQre- trlnle-
refined gIycorIne. This agent possesses
Intrinsic medicinm properties Of its own.
being a most valuable antiseptic and anti
ferment, nutritiye and soothing demul-
cent.
Giycerlne plays an important part in
DIR. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery In
the cure OF indigestion, dyspepsia and
weak stomach, attended by sour risings,
heartburn. foul breath, coated tongue,
poor appetite, gnawing feeling ia stom-
ach, biliOuSness and kindred derange-
ments OF the stomach, liver and bowels.
Besides curing all the above distressing
ailments, the "GOlden Medical Discovery
Is specific lOI tli uiocdcco VI lilt unhGoNn
membranes, as catarrh, whether OF tho
nasal passages or of the stomach, bowels
or pelvic organs. Even in It's lucrative
stages II viii yield TO this sovereign rem
edy II It's use be persevered In. In Chronic
Catarrh Of the Nasal passages. II Is well,
while taking the 'GOlden Medical Dis
cOYery for the necessary constitutional
treatment, 10 cleanse the passages freely
two or three times day with DR.. Sage's
Catarrh Remedy. This thorough course
OF treatment generally cures the worst
cases.
In coughs and hoarseness caused by brOn-
chlal, throat and lung affections. except con-
sumption In It's advanced stages the Golden
Medical Discovery" Is a most efficient REM
edy especially Ia those obstinate. hang-On
coughs caused By irritation and congestion OF
the bronchial mucous membranes The "Dis'
cOYeTy " Is net 80 good for acute coughs aris-
ing from sudden colds. nor must IL be ex
Docted 70 cure consumption IN It's advanced
stage5-nO medicine viii do that-but for az
the obstinate, chronic coughs. which. II neg
Iectod, or bf nv treated, lead mp tO consume
49, .,e Ds.l1leiici f,s iha- caa u, -
The bee., 1908-10-08

A mans nrst care should be TO
avoid the reproaches Of his own heart;
his next, TO escape the censures OF
the world. II the last interferes with
the former, It ought to be entirely neg
lected; but otherwise there cannot be
greater satisfaction TO an honest
mind, than to see those APPROPRIATIONS
which II gives itself seconded by the
applauses Of the publlc---Joseph Add
son.
The wholesome, harmless green
leaves aud tender stems OF a lung
healing mountainous shrub, give to
DIR shoop's Cough remedy its cura-
tive properties. Tickling or dry
bronchial coughs quickly and safely
WELD to this highly effective Cough
medicine. DR.. Shoop assures moth
ers that they can safety give 10 to
even very young babes. No opinion
no MISUNDERSTANDING nothing
harsh or harmful. II calms the dis
tressing cough, and heals the sensi-
tive membranes. Accept no other.
Demand Or. Shops.
Sold by St. Bernard Mining Co.,
Incorporated, drug company.
The bee., 1908-10-08

In fact, aggressive advertising
is the one infaIllble test of enter
prise in merchant. 1t stamps
him progressive, aliye-wise.
All other "signs of life" about
a store are misleading if store
is not aggressively advertised.
The merchant knows this.
This editorial rs to urge all
those people who believe in pro.
gressiVeness, in enterprise, to be
conslstent-to patrOnize the pro.
gressive and enterprising stores.
The safe test is the stores adver-
using. You can buy advertised
things and know that you are
helping to make enterprise worth
while-and know, too, that you
are saving money for yourself.
You can buy of the nou adyertis-
ing merchant if you want to en-
courage and reward non progress
siveness IN business, as we'll as
The bee., 1908-10-08
20 YOU APPROVE or
BUSINESS ENTERPRISE?

Perhaps there are times when
you feel that some of the bust
ness men of the city are not pro-
gressiVe enough Ingrained in
your nature is an admiration for
he ''hustler, "fOr the person who
does things-who improves what
ever he touches.
You admire the merchant who,
an brief space, takes moribund
eors0and makes it glow with
life-a credit to the city. You
are sure that, If we had more
such men, the city would benefit
amazingly.
A careful observer once noted
the coincidence that mcst large
cities were located on the banks
Of rivers. 1t is equally certain
that most large stores "happen''
10 be enterprising advertisers.
The bee., 1908-10-08
Thursday, October s, 1908
Worse Than The ApacheS.
tFrom the Courier-Journal)

tragedy the of an entire fam
y at Hickman words fail to express humiliation
chat every Kentucky worthy of the must feel
days border between the abor
anes settles CHASTITY outrage committed NO
Indian tribe led by ethics of the rsesnake
ngraued through of benghed savagery
planned atrocy surprising wanon and co"ardy
rueyn revolving butishuesshe crime OF fifty or
burned the cabin the heads OF the negro
Walker and murdered the man wife and children they
by flames leave the building That the soil OF
auy produce shver of horror to
sweep across the continent
Historians upon tactics of savings who
tce inhuman cruelty and children make allowance
point people unenghtened by the influences
Christianity civilization. But what be said IN exenu
of white this State and in this men
before the settlement of North America were civil
Ized-commit outrage unequad the ANIMALS OF the
Apaches?
beginning promotion of night riding the Oou
sought earnestly the whole peo
pile Kentucky whenever and for whatever the law
sregarded the emen of reves to babarsm
and disgrace to civilization
the of such crime that which
reported after the Birmingham raid in
wantonly fired cabipswas beyond
che darkest immagons of any ecable Kentuckian
What to the permitted lawlessness? To
that the participants this latest crime be prosecuted by the
example evils doors would be to
hope they Will be dealt with they deserve At rate
burden that there exist that section of the State
against sufficient to bring about honest nve
tlgson prosecution upon the citizens of Carlisle
county
of massacre will 90 the world
The affair will be cited proof the existence of savagey
the whites Kentucky Already there objection in for
countriesnoaby Switzerland sending immigrants into
ths the reputation the awess mOunaineer has
travelled Europe Yet the mounaneer with his readnes to
himself by deeds yoance infinitely less dangerous
the community than the type of cutthrOat who prow
about night regulate his neighbo with torch and rifle
whose high purposes shown by his willing
murder and children.
The question that well be asked and abroad what
people Kentucky going do about ? If
stole all of the perpetrators of hickman good
beginning of movement looking the rehabilitation of Ken
lucky public opinion serepec might be recorded
Bat will be hanged? The question for the decent ct
of Carlisle county How will they it? If
by silence the world will have every right consider Carlisle
the defenseess than the Southwest when
Geronimo and his bOOdhsty roamed that region with
their capng wheed every of the and
citizen the share the of failure
of organized and the failure of civilization
60 civlize.
The bee., 1908-10-08
Novel Use for Gum.

Help for the small child! II money.
ring or any small article is dropped
In a crack OF sidewalk which cannot
be reached by hand, chew piece
Of chewing gum and take long stick
and paste the gum on the end. Push
the stick down into the crack and the
ring or money can easily be drawn
out.
The bee., 1908-10-08

TO run the risk of securing for
yourself a very doubtful bar
gain. Progressive people should
patrouize progressive merchants.
The bee., 1908-10-08
Political Josh.

Mrs. Nabor-How is your husband
going to vote TALL?
Mrs. Hardsense-He will not vote
at all. He says that III this age Of
trained men it Is absolute folly to
entrust the country to men who
have had no experience IN president
ing at all Puck.
The bee., 1908-10-08
Timely Text.

Don't fool with Satan" says an old.
time brother. unless you're good
hand at fighting fire. and even then
you're likely to play a losing game.
Best thing to do is to keep ten miles
ahead OF Satan--lf you cant"
The bee., 1908-10-08

IT'S a wise man who knows how to
be rich and not give offense. He's q
patient citizen who can be poor and
not grumble. ---Manchester Union.
The bee., 1908-10-08
The wrscker

The Wrecker
What is It makes a campaign hO'r
It's Standard Oil.
What Is it Yields the warnest shoil
It's Standard Oil.
What makes the candidates All
cry:
at wasn't Mel 1t wasn't -
What makes them swat and pass
the lie?
It's Standard OIL, me dears, me
dears,
It's Standard OIL.
How'd evil get here. do you knuN?
BY Standard Oil.
Who was the snake that tIckled Eve
so?
Twas Standard Oil.
Aud when we passed beyond this
spot
To make our punishment, L wOt
MepEisto'll keep his fires hot
With Standard Oil, my little tote,
With Standard OIL
Richmond Times-Dispateh.
The bee., 1908-10-08

II the drouth is due to Bryan,
there won't be any rain, probably
until Taft's election. Vote for Taft.
Springfield Republican.
The bee., 1908-10-08
oepths Of North Atlantic.

The greatest depth determined by
the Challenger soundlngs, which was
that Of a limited depress IN about =
hundred miles to the north OF st.
Thomas. was 3.S75 fathoms. or about
"A miles. Except In the neighbor'
hood of its coast lines. and in certain
shoaI areas, the floor CT the Atlantic
basin at its widest point seems to lie
at a depth of from 1000 to 5000 faith
Sms. its slopes being extremely gradu-
al..-Nsw York American.
FOR some reason girl alway
= inDs every fellow who proposes
IS a hero.
The bee., 1908-10-08

1t will be stroke at the very Wit
ais of monopoly If there are to re
fewer kerosene parades this cam
paign. - Providence Journal.
The bee., 1908-10-08

After a protaeted Sitting an English
town council was DESTROYS OF adjourn
ing Tor lunch. The proposition was
opposed by the mayor. AZ last an II
literate member got up and exclaimed:
Il ham astonished, ham surprised, l
ham amazed, Mr.. Mayor, that you VIII
not let us go to lunch" Tin sur
prised," exclaimed one OF his col
leagues, that a gentleman who has
got so much ham in his mouth wants
any lunch at all"
Served "a coffee, the new coffee
substitute known to grOcers every
where as DR.. Shops Health Coffee,
will trick even a coffee expert Not
a grainOi real Coffee, IN 1t either.Pure
healthful toasted grains, malt, nuts,
etc. have been so cleverly blended
rs TO give a wonderfully satisfying
coffee taste and flavor. And 1t is
made In a minute" tool No tedi-
aus 20 to 80 minuets boiling. Test
H. aud see. DR.. ShOop created
Health Coffee that the people might
have a genuine coffee substitute,aud
Que that would be thoroughly salts
flying in every possible respect.
Sold by j. +. DeVylder,
The bee., 1908-10-08

{ Doans Reglets cure constipation without grip
ing, nausea nor any weakening effect Ask your
druggist for them. IS cents per box.
The bee., 1908-10-08
Not Much.

Church-Is he a man OF few wordsg
Gotham-Few words nothingl He's
space writer on daily newspaper
(onkers Statesman.
The bee., 1908-10-08

The youngest Democrat in Mis-
souri," has Clipped in his dollar for
the Bryan fund. The folly of youth,
the folly of youthl-Milwaukee SEN
tinel.
The bee., 1908-10-08

We are TO infer, then, that IL Gov
Haskell, of Oklahoma had "nade
good" In Wall street he would have
been there yet, uncursed ana un-
known, merely making money.
Poor HASKELL He must have tried
to become one of us!-Financial
Age.
The bee., 1908-10-08

We must give Mr.. Roosevelt cred
it for InventIAg the correspondence
school OF stump-speaking.- New
York World.
The Washington times., 1908-10-19
FRESH AIR A DRINK;
PURE MIND, DESSERT
Minister WI Gives Diet Which
Will Garry You Past
Century.

When the dinner gong booms the
call for toniPht's repast, any one who
is not hungry might try a meal sug-
Rested by Wu Ting-fang.
In the place of a cocktail take nine
long breaths Of fresh air The entree
should consist Of nuts. fruits. and we'll
cooked greens. Eat this combination
slowly.
For dessert. a pure mind will round
out a most delightful feast, according
TO the Chinese minister.
Minister Wu took a holiday yester-
day, and inspected the Washington
Sanatorium. A banquet was served
consisting Of a vegetariaD's ideal foods,
Minister WI praised the Sanatorium,
the dinner, and the work Of educating
the public on the folly Of eating meats
ANY person who will not fret. who
will not get angry. who viii not touch
liquor and will live according 10 the
laws of nature, may be strong and
healthy.
The Washington times., 1908-10-19
Pastor Takes Stand Against
Marriage of Consunptfves
Boston Minister Announces That He Will Never Again
Marry Any One With tuberculosis, Nor Man With
Less Income Than $12 Per Week

BOSTON, oct. 1S.-The Rev. Herbert
s Johnson, pastor Of the Warren Ave
nue. Baptist Church. announced az the
service last night that he never again
would Officiate at the marriage Of a con-
sumptive. and that he would at the next
district meeting ask the church authOri-
ties &c prohibit a marriage where one Of
the parties was a consum ptive.
Il am taking that step, he said. be
cause I DO not want to stand before
my God as a murderer. The marriage
Of an uninfected person with one suf-
fering from the great white plague
means that both inevitably viii have
the disease"
DR.. Johnson said that he had given
the matter great thought. and that ne
considered it time for the church 20
The Washington times., 1908-10-19
SEES A CATHOLIC
IN WHITE HOUSE
Archbishop Ireland Says
Church Is Entitled to
More Public Offices.

ST. LOUIS, No, Oct. 19.-Addressing
a notable gathering OF Catholic prel-
ates and citizens Of st. Louis in the
banquet hall Of Hotel jefferson last
night. Archbishop John Ireland, Of st.
Paul. declared that the Catholics of
the United States should be more largely
represented in high public offices.
Archbishop Ireland and other prelates
came here TO lay the cornerstone of the
ST. Louis Cathedral. and he made his
address on that subject. In speaking
Of the wealth required for the great
structure. he said:
The church is no enemy Of wealth.
Wealth. well used. is "A gift of the Al
mighty But I put the emphasis on
the words well used. Let us make
good use of our wealth by building
great churches and cathedrals.
There are now 1900 900 Catholics in
this country, and they are not repre-
sented in its great Offices as they
should be. Go to Washington and you
will find perhaps two or three Catholics
in responsible positions. Wherever you
60 you will not find Catholics well rep
resented in public offices. What is the
cause2 Timidity and a foolish fancy
that the country holds them down.
There is a chance for Catholics II
fhev are worthy. I have heard the
statement that there will never be a
Catholic President of the United States.
This is all nonsense. When the right
man is presented the United States
Will choose him and not discriminate
because Of his religion, but elect him
because OF his fitness.
Never again will there be discrim-
ination against a candidate for Presi-
dent because his wife is a CathOhc.
You may be sure that II this ever hap
pens again the candidate who is ncmi-
mated by that party will be defeated as
certain as two and two make four"
The Washington times., 1908-10-19
YOUNG GONER HOPES
HE WILL GET WELL

Howard Goner, thirteen years old. Of
4Os EIeN enth street southwest, told the
physicians OF the Georgetown University
Hospital today that he never wanted TO
see another chestnut. The boy, with
two companions. went Chestnut hunt
ing yesterday, and. while crossing the
Great Falls and Old Dominion Railway
bridge, he fell A distance Of thirty feet
sustaining serious internal injuries
IF I get well" the boy told the
physicians this morning, 7 will never
look at another chestnut GOners con-
ditiOn Is still serious