The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-02-26

fune 0e Mx, b0We6f. k1o M4u - WAAss
fcFsit. Hs could ny back In ~ hosfM
Shair and blow ahdlblo ard blow nm
~ ten times tho satisfaction Of beat.
Ing Mrs. Bowser at euehre. The In.
strument was purchased.
"And now I'm told that have no
ear for music" said ths purchaser al
hs lifted II up and puckered bis lipa
for t6ot. y am cooliy and calmly
and Deliberately informed that I cant
even whistle tunc, and afn recon,
mended TO hire hall. BY John, we'll
vee about Il! Tho neighbors object ID
. little soft music, do theyi Well see
about that too. Wen SEQ whether the
neighbor run this house or ! do."
Mr.. Bowscr sat down and drew a
long breath: then be raised the cornei
10 his mouth and lot her 60. The sound
was combination OF grizzly bear
srowi and the shouts Of q man slowly
sinking TO horrible death In q quag.
mire. Other sounds followed. They
were sounds Of saws saving against
Iron. They were sounds OF man with
tho asthma trying to hurrnh for Bunker
Hill on the Fourth Of July. They were
sounds OF i've or six dogs engaged 10
deadly conflict over a bone and flye
Or six more joyously hastening up to
take part In the scrap. The pawn.
broker bnd told Mr.. Bowscr that when
he got the thing to going not to stop
and let II cool Of. but to keep Il a,
tho redhot pitch. The instructions
were carefully followed until the wind
gave out, and the noise died away like
the tnii end Of q cyclone. BY that
time Mrs. Bowser had come down.
stairs to say:
do you know that you will scare
tho cook to death with that noise II
you keep onY'
BLAST the cookr retorted the player
m he raised the horn and blew anoth
Or medley Of walls and screams.
"And that pedestrians are already
stopping at the gater she continued
~ she looked out Of the window and
caught sight Of four men hanging on
the fence.
''Blast the pedestrians!"
"And tho neighbors viii be knocking
ut tho door. Tho folks that moved In
next door two weeks ago are from the
country and not used to such noises"
Woman. retire! Retire upstairs! Re
tire to stay retired! ! have hired my
hall and propose to play this horn az
long AZ I want TO-"
Music Was Weird.
Mrs. Rowser could do nothing else.
Then Mr. Bowser resumed. The reyo-
lutionists that killed the king that blew
on that horn had the proper idea Of
things. They knew that II was either
his life or theirs. II emitted groans
and grunts and toots and walls. II
sounded fats and 1t sounded sharps.
and between them It sounded several
other things. Mr.. Bowser had been In
suited by Mrs. Bowser declaring that
hs was no musician. The thought Of
that helped his wind at least 30 per
cent az he blew. He had been advised
to hire hail. He rolled his eyes
around tho room and imagined that he
was In a hall filled with 10000 people
and that he had got to toot loud enough
to send the shivers up and down the
spines of every listener. For ten min
utes the ruction went on. the earnest
ness and the determination Of the play
er increasing every second. and then
came laundering knock at the front
door to interrupt a long drawn wall.
Mr.. Bowser answered It. There were
two policemen there and a crowd be.
hind them. u
'what the devil is~thisi" demanded
one Of the officers.
"Look at the red faced murderer
added the other.
"A rope and a limbr' shouted the
crowd.
Then Mrs. Bowser came down the
stairs and talked softly and sweetly to
the officers. She explained that It was
only Mr.. Bowser and II was only one
Of his little ways and that II they
would not club or lynch him he would
soon tire Of his new toy and be looking
after chicken farm or q SQUAD ranch,
and In five minutes she had worked
the crowd out Of the yard. Then she
took the horn out Of Mr.. Bowser's
hands and said:
"when you get ready to retire. you
can come along up"
Three hours later. as he had not ap'
peared, she slipped downstairs in a
wrapper and found him asleep on the
lounge, and there were undrled tears
on his cheeks. His musical career had
been cut short. NJ. QUAD.
Leap Year Laugh.