The silver messenger. (Challis, Idaho) 1890-1912, 1908-08-04

so far as he is concerned, he infinite.
~ prefers to walk rather than to
stand-which latter, all said and done,
Is about all that riding amounts to
nowadays. That does not alter the
TACT, however that, with the coming
OF automobiles and rapid transit of
one kind or another, Shank's Mare is
going out of fashion, together with
other equines. Modern society is
well-nigh as shy of using its legs as it
is OF talking about them; and pres
emily, If we go on at this rate, these
hitherto useful appendages will have
become, before we know it, merely
rudimentary and our arms abnormally
developed and strengthened as a re-
suit Of hanging on straps, as are those
or our alleged ancestors, the anthro-
poid ape, as a result of hanging on
branches. use the word alleged"
advisedly. Surely there is little
enough to be proud of in the contem-
plation of the average family tree,
without chasing back some millions of
years for the purpose of populating it
with the unsympathetic and avowedly
plain-featured chimpanzee We may
have descended from the branches,
but from the anthropoid ape? Perish
the thought!
Admitting the need of public con-
veyances, which one is compelled TO
do so long as babies, bundles and loco
motor ataxia continue to flourish, is
not to admit the need of their mani
fold Inconvenience. For it is mani
fest that we are working out the prob
lem of transit by the process of null
duplication of the public to be pro-
vided for and of addition, If not sub
traction, of the accommodations. That
is no kind of arithmetic. Already,
rapid transit is walking with a limp.
Sooner or later it will be going around
on one leg. E pluribus unum is
very noble sentiment. The same can
not be said of plures in uno-particu-
larly If the uno be a public conveyance.
We Americans are VIGOROUSLY good
natured and long-suffering, but there
is such thing as carrying good ma
ture to the extreme. At present it is
pertinent to inquire whether we are
prepared to stand anything and every
thing from the companies who pre-
tend to transport us in comfort from
one place to another. Apparently we
are; and the mightier the company,
and the more modern the conveyance,
the more we stand. The which Is no
mere idle figure of speech.
But let us lay bitterness aside. For
70
constant use of our legs does not of
necessity mean that we should be
eternally kicking. Let us, on the
contrary, strive to see wherein lies
the compensation for the discomfort
attendant upon the intimate proxim-
ity of unlimited numbers of our fell
low-men. This will most certainly not
prove to be a mere wild goose chase.
Whatever it may be in the way of
injustice, discomfort and an impo-
sition, your crowded trolley is a fer
tile field for the study of human ma
ture. Primarily, 1t teaches you that,
whatever your lack of beauty may be,
1t cannot compare with that of others.
If it is true that beauty is only skin
deep, it is plain that beauty, like
the eel, has become used to being
skinned. The operation has been per-
formed, with consummate efficacy and
dispatch, upon the faces of an over
whelming majority of those whom one
meets in the average trolley. This |
is undeniahly true, but none the less
uncharitable. After all, they can't |
help 1t, the poor things! But, then. |
after all. one can't help being .unchar-
table. It's more comfortable than |
the other thing. Charity, you know,
suffereth all things. That's a pretty |
hard load on the shoulders of charity! |
To come back to our fellow-trolley- |
aux damesl The ladies'
bless 'em-are not to be judged by ap-
pearances. Were they, we should
arrive at the conclusion that not one |
in fifty Of those who board a trolley has
the most remote conception of where
she is going, or how to get there.
They scramble on with an eagerness
which seems to suggest that this par
ticular car is the last which will
ever pass, and when they have re-
covered breath Il am merely a man;
cannot know how this is done in
the case of a woman, but it seems to
be accomplished by turning her veil
up across her nose), they appeal to
the conductor:
Does this car go to Asterisk
avenue?"
"Yes, madam"
ooh. pshaw! Please let me of at
the next corneri"
They depart with an air of wronged
innocence, leaving their fellow-passen.
gers consumed with curiosity to know
whether their object in getting on was
to be taken somewhere as a surprise.
an object at once defeated by learn
ing the name of their destination.
Such evidence of instability is fatal to
matrimony, and some one
is always contemplating matrimony-
even in a trolley. The latter has
confirmed more bachelors than the
supposedly sage advice of Punch,
Provided she remains, the fair mas.
senger has to consider the question
Of annexing a seat, for a trolley with
q Gaat already ovafIob1a