The Lexington dispatch. [volume] (Lexington, South Carolina) 1870-1917, 1908-04-15

~, Dur cnecReQ II ne TeNieuUeieu
the incident, and he thought it mean
trick on the part Of Mrs. Gay to give
him away. He had thought himself
all alone. and when he went into that
hole backward and busted things and
sprained his back he just naturally
shouted out, the same as Judge Lam
dis or Elihu Root would have done.
Mrs. Gay should have realized the
provocation and kept the affair to her.
self.
Samuel, / don't want to weep. be-
cause I know nen folks don't like
tears. but I have to-" continued Mrs.
Dolby as she proceeded to weep and
let the tears fall where they would.
81 leave you setting a new gatepost
and singing hymn. If fifty different
people had told me that you were a
pirate, I couldn't have believed it.
Within half an hour you were hitting
the fence with the spade and using
such language that Mrs. Gay thinks it
curdled her pear preserves and that
she will have to throw them all out
Can you blame me for fainting away?
Can you blame me for wanting to ex-
pire? Can you wonder that my spirit
longs to sail far away where post holes
and pirates are not?"
The deacon didn't blame her one Bit
but as he had now reached the photo
graph Of his Uncle Jim, who always
claimed to be the original discoyerer
Of the Atlantic ocean, he wanted to
keep quiet and do lot Of thinking.
eff that was all, Samuel" said Mrs.
Dolby after a sobbing silence of three
minutes, 81 shouldn't feel so like dy-
ing. I would lay it to your absent
mindednesss>. I would think that you
temporarily mistook yourself for Cap
tain Kidd and that the words fell un-
consciously from your lips, but that
couldn't have been the case. Three
days after that, as well remember,
Mr.. Brownfeld came over and asked
you to go back with him and see what
allied his cow. He} thought she was
coming down with the iholler horn.
You are not saying word, Samuel,
but know you remember all about it.
Can't you get me the Kitchen towel to
wipe my eyes on?"
The deacon never moved. He had
struck an attitude, and he thought it
safest to maintain it. Besides, he was
now looking at the photograph Of an
aunt Of his who was the first woman
In America to discover that heavy
bread and sour buttermilk added years
to the life Of tramp.
Kicked by Cow.
eYou went over and saw the cow.
You were examining her horns when
she threw her head around and knocked
the breath all out of you Mr.. Brown
field was scared almost to death. AS
he stood there, looking at you, you
jumped up and began kicking the cow.
He counted the kicks, and there were
just twenty-six of them. You called
her seventeen different names. You
swore forty-two times and was still at
It when Mr.. Brownfeld laid his hand
on your arm and told you to recollect
who you were and what you owed to
society. You grabbed him and ran him
against the barn, and If Mrs. Brown
field hadn't come out and screamed I
don't know how you would have ended
up. Think Of 1t, Samuel-think Of it1'
Samuel thought Of it, and the more
he thought the more he wished he had
knocked the cows horns off. He didn't
say so, however. he was In one Of his
silent moods. Mrs. Dolby was per-
mitted to weep for the next five min
utes and wipe her eyes on the skirt OF
her dress, and it was almost relief to
hear her finally say:
"Well, Samuel, you can 60 out to
your taters, and will lie here and
die. You'll find me dead when you
come into supper, but don't let it both.
er you. You can get yourself some
bread and milk, and If you want tea
you'll find the teakettle boiling. Fare
well, dear. l can no longer live with
a pirate. My place is with the angels"
Mr.. Dolby went out and resumed his
digging, but he hadn't unearthed more
than bushel of the white tubers when
Mrs. Dolby appeared. She had dried
her eyes. slicked down her hair and
was even smiling as she observed:
Samuel, I think I want some more
spice for those ounce preserves, and I
wish you'd think of it when you 60
down to the postofice tonight"
NJ. QUAD.
The Main Thing.