Washington standard. [volume] (Olympia, Wash. Territory) 1860-1921, 1908-05-08
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XXX \lNAAMNzN M
The great Observation-Disclosures
already eilaced the difference between
Nh, red man and the Whitc-the dit
ference in the color OF their noses.
Drinking water and abstaining
from food is the latest cure for cor
pulence. 1t is said to have been
tried hy the lower classes for years
past. with the most admirable thin
ming results.
Grandpa. qucried a little OIym-
pia tot. do the good die young?
SO We are told. my dear. re-
piled the old gentleman.
My.' exclaimed the small OBJ
server. ''you must toe awful wicked!
Stranger: DO all your employers
drop their tools the instant that the
whistle blows?
EmDloyrr. o. 10 - not all Of
them The more orderly ones have
their tools put away before that
time.
While Seattle likes to refer to resi-
dents of Portland. as moSsbaci>.
Portland citizens never think OF call
ing SrattleiteS insane, daily. and OF
mccarthy existence. because they are
inflated with the article they term
" Seattle spirit.
Early in the day, an Olympia bust
Ii 49,. /, ,N1t..nt.It - { ntn-
mercial travellers are requested not
to call before l P. NJ. As soon as |
O'Clock strikes another placard is
substituted: Commercial travellers
are requested not to call after | p. NJ.
This saves valuable time.
If Mr.. Cake, the Republican nomi
nee for United States Senator, for
Oregon. is sent to Washington, ID.
c.. it is to be hoped he VIII not be a
pancake amongst the national
laws makers: but will. like the cele
brated " Mrs. Foggarty 5 Christmas
Cake, be cheerful of-Spice.
If those gentleman in British Co
lumbia, who stole so many logs. will
90 in partners with land stealers in
Oregon. by putting their heads
together they may find some other
men. who will steal Il wholesale saw
factory. or agricultural implement
concern. The rest would be easy.
This is how an Idaho paper reports
a wedding: Lewis Bollings and
Miss Pearl Cox, after several months
of heart-tO-heart conversation on
the perfumed avenue of love, passed
under the rOseate archway of Hymen,
where soul meets soul on waves of
ecstatic feelings Whoa. Back
up"
An Olympia woman said to me
the other day:
Does your poetry pay?'
We'll replied, it just keeps the
wolf from the door.
g suppose you read it to him,
returned the woman; then she started
down Main street.
| boarded the first car for Tum-
water. It's the water, you know.
Ugh!
We think, wrote the manufact-
ures of printing machinery, that it
is about time you were paying US
something on the press YOU bought
nearly year ago"
Il wasn't aware that | owed you
answered the proprietor
of the country newspaper by return.
You told me when | ordered the
machine that it would pay for itself
in six months.
A medical authority says: Per-
sons have been bitten by mad dogs
and have not gone mad. And then
again, on the other hand, some per-
sons get mad from being bitten by a
dog that is not mad.
All the comment | have got to
make on that is that the dogs could
not have bitten them very badly.
The man who is not made mad by
being bitten by dog ought to be in
heaven. He is too good, for this
wicked world.
In looking out of doors, do you
notice how bright is the green of the
grass and the leaves?" asked an
Olympia man of a little girl, whose
home he was visiting.
Yes sir.
why does it appear brighter at
this time of the year," he next
asked, looking down w On the bright,
sweet face with tender interest.
Because" said the little girl" ma
has cleaned the window and you can
see out better"
The Oregonian changes it's writer
of Oregon Ozone-Stings and Ar
rOws-and so on, and so forth, about
every changed of the moon, seemingly.
Since "Wex" Jones, retired from
the great Portland publication, no
writer of this class of reading seems
to remain long with that newspaper.
Next to Wex", Robertus Love
charmingly amused his readers, but
he, too, did not tarry long, and now
we must take what comes in the
Oregonidn's Sunday edition.