The Prescott daily news., 1908-08-10
The Three Professors.
[Copvrirht, 1sOs. by T. e. McClure.l


 prise town in the far west such as l Cheyenne or Deadwood. One of these towns was surprised at the arrival of Professor Henry Thorn, bOtanist, Yale college, and ten days later by the com ing of another professor, who regis tered himself at the same hotel as Professor Charles Witbeck, Criminol- ogist, Harvard College" For an hour or two his name on the register ex- | cited some little comment. That was because those who read 1t didn't know whether his profession related to claim | jumping or railroad engineering. The landlord finally explained that a crim- inologist was fellow who had had to | jump out of Texas for shooting a man and had arrived in Dakota to open a faro game and make a new start in life That satisfied public curiosity and accounted for the professor stroll ing around the town day and night He also took in all the fine points and particulars.
 The two professors under one roof fought shy of each other for a couple of days. Professors have their jeal Ousies as well as dime museum freaks. though greater efforts are made to con. ceal them. At length, however. they introduced themselves and shook hands and began to respect each other. Some professors of botany can't be led to admit that there is anything inter esting in anything but their own spe- cial hobby. So with professors of criminology. These two professors were different, however. They de- ferred to each other. They made ad- missions. They permitted each other to talk without interruption.
 The botanist heid up half withered violet that he had culled on the prairie and delivered an interesting lecture on its roots and stem and petals, and the criminOlogist described the head and face of the criminal with such clear ness that had there been an audience present none could have failed to se- cure mental photograph. The points he made were, first, slanting fore head; second, a head that ran down hill on the back side; third, the nar- row space between the eyes; fourth, bulging over the eyebrows, and fifth, cruel expression about the mouth In addition to particulariZing these points. he was good enough to say that Professor Thorn didn't betray a single one of the characteristics. On the con- trary, an infant had only to take one look at him to know that he was as gentle and innocent as woman.
 Professor Thorn couldn't do less than return the compliment He returned it by saying that all flowers represent ed human characters. For instance, the Canadian thistle represented a chuckle headed man, the burdock a man full of envy and jealousy, the pig weed a weakminded person, the holly hook a conceited ass, and so on. What typified the character of Profess or Witbeck was the lily. That stood for purity of soul and thought A man that represented the lily was always subscribing to orphan asylums and buying up old horses to turn out to pasture for the rest of their lives. Just what the professors said of each other when alone Is private matter The first occasion they had to distrust each other was when they met at night in the vicinity of clothing store. One nf fhnno haon ,iy,fy hn fac tenings of a rear window and the other the fastening of door, Professor Witbeck observed that he thought the study of botany required daylight, and Professor Thorn replied that he failed to see how the study of criminology could be pursued without the aid of lantern. There was a second meeting on second night. and from thence on the relations between the two great institutions of learning seemed to be strained.
 It was not to last long, however One night after the botanist had spent a whole hour to effect an entrance to a store by way of a skylight and pho- tographer's parlors it was to come upon the criminologist, who had got in by door and was just preparing to bore the safe. By the aid of two dark lanterns and the English language some very sarcastic remarks were passed as to hypocrisy and false pre- lenses, and then they sensibly agreed to divide the labor and the boodle They were working with this aim and object in view when a third party crept out from his hiding place and in-