The Washington times., 1908-08-27
HAT FASHIONS FOR MEN SEEM AS
AMUSING AS THOSE FOR WOMEN,
BUT FASHION RULES

The man came into office and
asked for some muscilagea When Il was
handed him he took the brush and with
it carefully and painstakingly mucil-
aged the two layers OF the brim OF his
straw hat, which had become discovered
In some way. Then he pressed these to-
gether and put on the hat experiment.
ally.
When he found that the mended
place seemed likely 70 hold ne removed
his chapeau again and found time TO
speak to me.
Write something about straw hats, 70
he said Something about what be-
comes Of them when their owners give
them up, whether or not - chopped up
they make good chicken iced, or per
chance prove a delicate mOrsel for the
family cow"
1 refused to be amused at this badi-
mage, and he spoke again. Really. it's
not a bad subject" he said. Here am
IN the latter part Of August with hat
which is glued together. IF / were
caught IN a storm, what would happen
10 me? Why, the glue would run down
my face and the hat brim would sep
arate into its component parts and I
would be a laughing stock for gods and
men. 1t is much too late to buy a new
straw hat, and a derby is heavy for this
season Now. what shall 1 do?"
A Lightweight Felt Hat.
BUY a lightweight felt nat" sug-
gested.
But I look like a bloody idiot with
a brOad-brimmed Merry Widow on.
he protested.
You might wear a silk hat during
this between season I remember when
gentlemen used TO wear them even while
riding a bicycle" said l.
MY silk hat IS very unbecoming, re-
piled the man, discontentedly. Il fancy
q hope it is only fancy that to look
well in a silk hat man should have an
aquiline nose and an air of grave dig
nifty. I have the air of grave dignity.
but the nose IS lacking, at least the
aquiline nose If could wear q cockade
IN my hat I think it would be more be-
coming-something to relieve the SOM
berness of the occasion, you know; but
one cau't wear a. cockade without being
footman, and as I understand II he
can't be a footman without in some
measure being a hOrseman."
Don't be silly" 1 said severely, and
the man much injured walked away
haughtily.- En- route TO the door, how
ever. the glued underbrim Of mis- hat fell
away from the glued upper brim and
obscured his eyes.
Bother the thing!' he cried. 'I shall
have TO buy a new hat after all, much
as I dislike the idea. I'll buy another
straw one.
Too Late in Season.
But that would be manifestIy alb
surd wh5I in two weeks no man would
be caught dead wearing a straw hat," I
objected.
I can wear it next season, can't I?''
inquired my guest.
No; because next season tho brlm OF
mems hats, instead OF being two and
SeVen-eighth inches wide will probably
De three inches, and no man with any
self-respect could wear a hat which did
not measure TO the thOusandth part OF
an inch what It should. Talk about a
blind following of fashion, there is moth
ing about which a woman is so foolish
as man is about his hat measurements
My guest did not reply. That's where
men have the advantage of us When
they are accused they always take
refuge IN silence. instead of Fastening
to excuse themselves, as does sensitive
femininity,
Come around the corner and help me
buy a hat said the man, and inas-
much as hat fashions are a source or
interest TO me. no matter what sort OF
hats. I went
Any Sort OF Old Hat.