The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1908-07-19
MAJOR AND MRS. MAX'S
AVA ORCHID ANNIVERSARY
And a Story Of Bob Billings'sl
Humbie Act OF
Heroism.

there are no commonplace people, def
clared Major Max.
"Al geniuses2' inquired Mrs. Max with
a display Of hat most adorable Of wifely
traits. q seeming desire to encourage q hus-'
band to talk.
Doubtless woman Is entitled TO every hui
man right. Every natural right 10 hers and
she exercises az many as she pleases and
man permits; every artihofalrigh should be-
hers which she desires and man wilkgrant-
But with all these manifest and great priv
leges como duties, and tho greatest Of these
is to be q cheerful and encouraging listener
to her husband.
Few men receive the right Of free speech
from men, and AZ those b are 80 priv
legged become candidates for the Presidency
they thus provo the wisdom Of their Fellow
men who refuse to make an audience FOR
most men. There 10 an instinct OF SELF
protection which manifests itself not ply
sically but by the mere opeSwtion Of amental
negation. Refusals to listen save az many
lives as do ~refusals TO drink cocktails In hot
weather; the mere Withholding Of attention
from another's talk may be asefectivehn
preserving health as is golf playing or
F1etcherizing our food.
Therefore the only happy husbands are
those who are blessed with wives who are
or seem to be attentive listeners land a. o
wife's happiness depends almost as much
upon her husbands happiness as the size
OF his income 1t Ia thereby apparent&hat to
encourage her husband to talk 10 totnsure
for herself a long and happy life.
But to state q self-evident truth is,in-
-.nu-- ---- &c. lrtnr-rntIu0 4hA
Majors remarks.
.Not all geniuses,' he replied. -else This
instead Of being the best Of all possible
worlds would be the worst.
ito say that no man Ii . hero to hisvalet
IL not to say that some other man may
not be, and thus We find that even O valet
il not a commonplace person. as the saying
mean to prove him to be. My own
valet, It may be, has failed to discover
my heroic qualities, yet he burns. the In
cense Of hero worship beforeta person OF
the captivating name Of Hans Wagner, the
Flying Dutchman.
sIt has never been revealed to me whereat
Hans essays his flight, but I have observed
that on those afternoons when my valet
asks my permission to attend a funeral OF
one Of his multitudinous yet rapidly de
parting relatives he returns with renewed
enthusiasm for hero Hans, who. 10 occurs
to me now, may be an undertaken
.Oh, I know Hans said Mrs. Max help
fully. Mrs. Jack Daring's boy told Mar
jorie. He's a batter
1In the bakery liner
"No; in the carriage making line. I should
say. Little Jack told Marjorie that when
Hans wields his wagon tongue there Is
something doing
aThere you are thenl' exclaimed the
Major. MY point is proved. Surely q
man is not commonplace whose enthusiasm
IL aroused by the excellent workmanship
Of q carriage maker.
$50 1t IL throughout every condition OF
life: We never f1nd a man or woman with
out q hero or heroine. Ideals. they are,
these heroes. and they are the product not
of their own idealism but OF that Of others,
OF idealists. Can we speak OF an idealist
as a commonplace person. 1t would be O
contradiction in terms
Then Polly Slanguer b commonplace
declared Mrs. Max with unusual decision.
.Poly2' gasped the Major. Il have
thought Of her a. almost everything I
could think Of her as o lady. but never
commonplace
swell, I'm sure argued Mrs. Max. you
have proved her to be commonplace, be-
cause she has no hero. She says that the
reason she has never married Bob Billings
Is because she could never manage to make
a hero Of him.
81 sometimes thought said the Major
gently, that one Of the reasons she never
married Bob was because he never asked
her to marry him.
ooh, that doesn't amount to anything
the lady commented. comfortably. "A
woman always knows long before the man
does when be wants to propose to her.
When q woman says This Il 90 sudden,
she never means that she has discovered
anything suddenly. but that he has. /
proposed to you.'
my dear madam. youshook me- cried the
Major. Il do not doubt you. because I N
not; but. really. I thought 1t was the other
way about
ooh, Of course. you did, the lady agreed
with q smile, 'but after ] made up my mind
that you wanted to ask me to be your wife
and that I wanted you TO ask me. IL
arranged it,
-Oh, you arranged iti'
yes, with Mrs. Jack. She wa just
you Know % " WINS Quito prOpers
The only possible place was in the on
servatory. but there were several stupid
couples there already. Mrs. Jack fused
them all out. then signallsd to me and I
asked you II you didn't want to ses the
new orchids.'
'How little unused the Major, show little
does man understand the fateful designs
Of woman. May ! forget to say my prayers
II I did not suppose your innocent interest
was limited to those orchidsl
But Bob IL q hero. II Polly wants 10 know
the truth
sIndeedf' asked Mrs. Max with modi-
fed interest, The orchid incident somehow
interested her more.
Yes, indeed replied tho Major. 'once
we were stationed ct q little spot In Arizona
which lacked. like another and possibly
o hotter place, only water and good society
to mako II heaven.
sThere was q civilian teamster employed
by us sometimes to bring In commissary
supplies, some OF which he furnished him.
self. for he had squatted upon n OF the
few springs within q million miles OF US,
where he grow some vegetables and fruit