davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31
The Argus Daily Short Story
COVELL'S JOKE--,BY WILLIAM NORRIS, JR.
Copyrighted, 1908. by Associated Literary Press

All BIlmorlI. with the exception of
Dan Betterley and his sister, thought
Colonel Covell's joke good one The
Retterleys were excepted because the
joke was on Dan and the talk across
the bar of the Brindle Pup saloon was
huShed on those rare occasions when
Betterley favored the place with his
company. At other times men slapped
each other ON the back and roared as
Covcll detailed the progress of events.
The joke had sprung from careless
remark made by Rob Henders when
Julie Betterley had refused to marry
Howard WettOn on the ground that
she did not want to leave Ben alone
to keep house In bachelor discomfort.
"Some one would do Wetton a per
sonal favor by marrying off Ben" sug-
gested TENDERS, and the rest of the
crowd shouted with delight at the idea
Of the silent Benjamin marrying.
'But he wouldn't know how to ask
girl" suggested Colonel CovelL
'Some one would have to pop the
question for him. By John Rogers"
he added, II think I'll do it for him!
I've a maiden aunt back east who's
been e. azy to get married for more
years than I've lived. Her names
Adora Dedrick, and she must be about
sixty now.
"She's got little money, and she
may think that he's marrying her for
that, but she'll take him. Well carry
along the game until we've proposed
for him, and then we'll let Ben get
the answer or else we'll bring the old
lady on and let him fight it out with
her"
"That would be great" declared
TENDERS approvingly. "Let her walk
right up to him and put her arms
around his neck and say .Darling1 I'll
bet that will scare him into talking"
'I'll be one to help pay the old lady's
travelling expenses on this here excur-
sion," broke in Denver Bill, who dealt
bank. ''What will it cost?"
'Say S4O0." suggested Coyeu as be
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

took off his hat and threw ia -. -,
n few minutes more than the needed
sum had been realized, and, calling foi
pens and paper. Coxell wrote the first
letter, while the rest of the crowd
looked on.
Betterley was not disliked il Bal
moral, but his taciturn ways ard his
refusal to make one OF the crowd that
nightly thronged the B:'irdle Pup
marked him man apart from the rest.
Hence the crowd was willing to pay
for the pleasure of seeing his amaze
ment when his undesirable bride elect
should appear.
Unmindful of all postal regulations,
the postmaster agreed to let Coveil
have the letters addressed to Dan Bet
terley should any come from the little
New England town where Miss AdOra
Dedrick lived. Presently it came. a
heavy letter in which Miss Dedrick ex-
pressed willingness to correspond
Cousin Covell.
81 guess she's forgotten you. Col"
suggested TENDERS when this line was
reached, but Covell merely grinned APP
preciatively and continued % read.
There was little to laugh at in the
letter. Indeed, more than one in the
crowd wished there was some one
back east who would write letters like
that to him. but Covells vivid descrip-
ton of Miss Dedrick's overripe charms
and the thought of what Dan would
say when she arrived kept the joke
alive during the correspondence that
followed. Finally when Miss Dedrick
wrote that she was sending her pic
ture and the accompanying photo
graph proved to be that of a comedy
girl scarcely out of her teens Covell
rolled on the floor in his delight.
cousin Adora was that old before
they knew how to take pictures" he
insisted. ''She must have begged this
of a photographer. l think that it's
i time to spring the joke now. Well
send her the money to come on with
: and ask her to start at once. Dan will
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31
Nineteen-Nine.

The swiftly shifting scenes of life
have brought to the threshold of hui
man experiences another new year.
In but a few hours 1903, which came in
so sprightly but a short while ago
will have gone lettering over tne
slope. 1t will be forever dead 1t has
proven like all of its predecessors
1t brought its joys and SORROWS its
surprises and disappointment, and il
left it's trail OF memories.
Meanwhile the book of time will be
opened on an unfingered page. 1t is
not for man to know what will have
been written there before the close OF
another chapter.
The privilege of hoping is not de
| MED, while we linger in this transitory
state.
May the best that life affords be the
| portion of all in the year that is tC
come.
That is The Argus hope for nine
! teen-nine
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

every road that had contracts for fast
mail service.
The postmaster general announced
the other day that no more fines should
be collected or assessed against rail-
roads for failure to make schedule
time, although the law requires that
fines should be assessed and collected,
and congress has not repealed or
amended the law
Is this action OF the administration
taken to reward the railroads for the
effective influence and assistance they
rendered to the republican candidate
for president in the recent campaign
1t looks like it. 1t admits of that con-
| struction on it's face. If it is not in
tended as a reward, why was such an
| important and valuable concession to
| the railroads made?
VIII the railroads be as anxious to
| make schedule time with their fast
mail trains with no fine for failure as
they would with a fine staring them
in the face
| If they do not make schedule time,
as the law and their contracts require
them to do, every time they fail the
public will be inconvenienced AMI
business men will suffer loss These
were the reasons why fines were pro-
vided for. They We're imposed for the
benefit of the public-the taxpayers.
cut of whose pockets come the vast
sums of money the fast mail service
costs.
That the railroads eXerted all the
Influence they could to elect Mr.. Taft
and thus please the administration is
well understood
| That the railroads are to be bene
flied by the order of the postmaster
general releasing them from the fines
provided by law no one will question
If this and that are put together
what conclusion is it reasonable tC
draw?
The Roosevelt administration has
been conspicuous for its arbitrary
processes in evading the letter and
spirit of the law and fiouting at tho
strict and reasonable construction d
the constitution What are the Law
and the constitution between friends?'
seems TO be the policy that governs a
Washington. There was a determine
ton on the part of the republican ad
ministration to elect Taft-and th(
consoling thought is applied rs a salve
if the responsible parties need salve
that the end iustifes the means.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31
BEST NEW YEAR RESOLUTION
To Live More Faithfully by the Golden
Rule, SAYS Edwin mar,hann.

81
Rule, Says Edwin Harihgn.
The MODEST resolution that any cid
zen could make for the New Year
would be the resolution to live mCre
faithfully by the Golden Rule. that
sublime principle of conduct for this
world and for all worlds. Failure to
live by this law causes the chief sOr
rows ana collisions among men.
Let each earnest man search into his
words and ways. determined to GnG
the special manner in which he breaks
the golden law. his special habit that
works injustice or unhappiness in his
shop. his Office. his home. his city, says
Edwin Markham in Success Magazine
for January. He will find perhaps
that in the shop he is in the habit of
miSplacing tools, and this hirders the
work of his comrades; that in the Of
flee he is in the habit of being late il
keeping appointments and thus steals
other peoples time: that in the club
he is III the habit of belittling worthy
competitors and thus joins the gang OF
thieves who steal regulations: that In
the home he is III the habit Of monopo-
liZing the conversation and thus fall
to draw out the powers of others; that
in the city he is in the habit Of spit
ting on the sidewalk and thus spells
the comfort of his townsmen; that in
business he is in the habit Of misrcn-
regenting his goods and thus robs I'M
CT the cover OF custom.
~,
Rule. and here are ample space and
verge for New Year resolutions. space
and verge for building character
character which is the greatest thing
in man.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

which passed the Dingley bill Speaker
Reed named only the committee on
ways and means, which reported the
bill, and to or three other committees
necessary to enable the house to prop
erly discharge it's routine business.
Adjournments were taken every three
days, thHs focusing public attention on
the senate. House leaders believe IL
may tend to shorten the life of what
now promises to be one of the longest
special sessions in the history of con-
greSS
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

The divorce statistics just published
emphasize again the need OF uniform
national divorce law as the only meang
by which the evil can be kept in check
AS a chain is no stronger than its
weakest link, neither is divorce in the
union more difficult than in the state
with the most lax laws. There is nc
use in passing a restriction law in one
state which can be nullified at individ
ual pleasure in another.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

they had learned the sense of the
message the plotters allowed it 60 be
delivered, while at the same time Miss
Adora's Last letter and her picture, in
closed in the original letter. were
placed back in the postofiice and de-
livered to Dan that evening.
The Brindle Pup kept open until 4
O'clock in the morning that the earli-
est news might be learned. but Dan
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

see this picture. ard whan Cousin
Adora COMES reckon he'll be some
surprised"
Covell laboriously indited lengthy
letter, liz which he declared Dams iu-
ability to wait longer for his bride and
begging her to come west at once.
A few days later telegram tele-
phoned from the railroad town to
camp ANNOUNCED her start. and when
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

Starvation and pestilence are fol-
lowing the understandable horrors of
the earthquake in southern Italy.
There is no better way to start the
new year than to yield to the dictates
of your heart and open your purse for
the aid of the survivors of the greatest
disaster since the flood.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31
Worries Biggest LOG Raft,

What will unquestionably be the
biggest log raft ever set afioat win be
towed from the Columbia river to San
Diego. Cal, next summer The raft
will be cigar shaped bundle Ct big
Oregon fir sticks and will be 1000 feet
long by 60 feet wide, with the top ris-
ing about ten feet out of the water
1t will contain about 100000 feet CT
lumber.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

According to DR.. Mary Patrick,
president of the girls college at Con
stantinople, the Turkish women have
thrown off their wells and are lecturing
in different prominent cities like Con-
stantinople and Salonica, and are also
forming wo.nan's clubs. Not watch
Turkey boom,
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

Andrew Carnegie was financially
behind the Pittsburg graft exposure.
There is a fine idea for Andy. II he
really wants to die poor, let him fl
nance graft exposures in the large cit
les of the world
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

People are talking of undertaking to
teach women how to get off street
car without imperiling their necks.
Which suggests an alteration of an
old proverb: You can take woman
to street car, but can you hake her
get off in any other than the woman S
Way?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

]. Pierpont Morgan's dues in the
80 clubs to which he belongs amount
to more than $1,000 annually What 4
lot of excuses he has for remaining
away from home at night
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

during the coming year. Teddy Roose-
welt is to get out of the White house,
and unless something happens, out Of
the country
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

A shocking story is told that Bos-
ton baked beans are not so good as
they used to be. Is it possible that
somebody is putting out an imitation
Boston bean
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

The soldier who whipped four row.
dies is entitled to a medal, a months
vacation and some good smoking
tobacco while on shore leave.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

Owners of restaurants in Seattle
have pledged themselves not to exact
higher prices than usual next summer.
The exposition is making a good start
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

A New York man predicted that the
world would end this week. 1t came
pretty near it over in Southern Italy.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31
BUYING Him Off.

ale wanted to borrow q Quartey
from me-
Did you fall:''
"Yes: l made it a dollar"
"Why this Generosity?"
HE might pay the quarter back. but
by making it dollar lose him for
ever and it is a cheap lose
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

Blessed are lie
pure in heart,
for they can GEN.
orally see the fin
fsh of their enc
mics.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31
Her Daughter Anyway.

heT daughter anyway
Low old is Ann?
1 fam would know.
Tell IL You can.
II pains me SO.
How old. you say.
Is Ann? Dear me,
And she so gay
And fair to see!
The question is.
How old is Ann?
The Elory's his
Who solve il can.
How Old is Ann?
Can you conceive?
You bet / can
AS Old as Eve.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

Avoid entrance TO quarrel. Man?
there be who are crowding TO it. and it
is much more entertaining to sit ON the
tence and see discounted contestants
and participators come flying bach
through the door.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

Isn't it too bad we've got to start
the new year on Friday?
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

1t is almost i'm
possible To- en-
dure tie disap-
prevail of Z COM
munity unl"sS Il
very high lee is
attached.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31
THE ARGUS.

Published Daily and Weekly at 1924
second avenue, Rock Island, Ill. LEn-
sered at the postoffice as second-class
matter.]
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31
By DuNt

1t makes Il woman just as mad to
have her new hat act UP and get I'M
becoming as it does her husband to
have it cost real money
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

Don't blame your relations-in-law II
they DOM like you. They are not rS
sponsible f0r you.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31
Hunor ane Philosophy
BY DUNCAN N. SMITH
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

W h en- people
don't take the
trouble 10 hatter
you. you at least
have the cOnSo-
lation that they
have 10 immedI-
ate nor proSpec-
tive use for you.
A coed guess
is quite as eff
cient and as suf-
ficient as accu.
rate knowledge
as long as ii
keeps its iden.i-
ty hidden.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

Well, here's to nineteen-nine.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

You never can tell by the dimension
Of wOman'S sleeve how big a thing
she may~haye up it.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31
BY THE j. w. POTTER co.
TERMS = Daily, 10 cents per weel

TERMS Daily, 10 cents per week
Weekly, 81 per year in advance
All communications of argumentative
character, political or religious, must
nave real name attached for publica-
ton. No such articles will be printed
over fictitious signatures
Correspondence solicited from every
township in Rock Island county.
NRaIHflNe
s7KA9Esl Y 1sH2t COUNCILS 50
Thursday, December 81, 1908.
Rock Island Argus. (Rock Island, Ill.) 1893-1920, 1908-12-31

Continued on Page Eleven.)
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-09-19

and knew It when too late. Only
those hopelessly out of the running
seemed to be really enjoying them
selves.
1t was expected that the judges
would not remain out long, but half
hour went by, and they were still de.
batting in the little summer house TO
which they had withdrawn. A feel,
ing OF uneasiness began to make itself
apparent. Bets were cancelled, and re.
arranged again. No one seemed as
confident as at the opening of the
contest Al last the judges were seen
to rise, and then, two by two, they
came across the lawn, and took their
places on a fowerdecked platform. A
sudden hush fell over the assembly.
The chairman waited until everyone
had come within hearing distance Of
the stand before making his announce
ment, then, after reading the clause
In the will, he said:
"The difficulties In the way of fair
decision can hardly be appreciated by
those not members of the committee.
In the making of It, in the Judging and
Weighing, we crave your clemency,
Having made II we are sure of your
enthusiastic support. The prize has
been awarded to Miss Mary Bennett" "
There was confused murmur.
Richard, more surprised than anyone,
turned to look at Mary. II was true!
1t might be gone tomorrow, but to
day her radiant JOY made her the most
beautiful woman tbere, She seemed
all light and color and happiness, and
they had felt It and recorded il,
She would not believe It at first and
wanted to hurry away, but they de.
tained her and showered congratula.
tons on her until she was glowing
like rose. Each moment enriched
her, adding weight 10 the decision
You were a dark horse" said q
friend, at once puzzled and convinced
Cupid was jocNey,' said Richard.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-09-19

passing easily through the long. door.
like halves of the window. that were
swung wide open.
'Spellbound, my wife watched the
man, who paid no heed TO her. but
made his way at once to the bedroom
she following in mortal terror. AID.
preaching the bed he noticed that its
curtains were drawn and paused a mo.
ment, casting his eyes about him as II
in search for something. Near the fire.
place lay a heavy brass poker which
he picked up, returning with it TO the
bedside Breathless my wife watched
as he put aside the curtains. A WON
an lay there sleeping, with her face
turned away, but my wife thought II
was herself Sine saw the man lift
the poker as II to strike. at which the
woman lying IN the bed started and
looked toward him. At this my wife's
and she cried aloud
"Of course II was only fancy. o
dream. If YOU like, something that was
not real. for the next instant she was
alone in the room. But the effect was
most distressing. DO what she would
she could not drive from her mind tho
face Of that taway.hglrcd assassin
with his pale blue eyes.
FINALLY she wont to bed. hoping
that sleep would give her some relief;
but she could not sleep. she could not
get her thoughts ont of the morbid
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-09-19

channel in which they were running
So, anxious. restless sick at heart, she
had waited for me TO come, Aand my
coming, alas, brought her only added
terrors.
you are preventing me from eating
my breakfast. Sir, with your queer
story" said Caseau. And besides, |
can't see what it has to do with the
young woman who has just been oper-
ated on. She Is not your wifeT'
mo, thank heaven. but you know
who she is?"
Not j." said Caseau 81 got in too
late to learn any details"
She Is Marie Gagnol, who occupied
the apartment adjoining ours in No.
4, Rue Breda"
MY Cod" exclaimed Caseau.
Just then one of the other students
came in from the hospital shes dead"
he said. "She never spoke. Bat they are
going to try an important experiment
on her Dr. Rosseau thinks she closed
her eyes with fright at the very mo-
ment when she saw the murderer, and
never opened them since. He's going
TO test his new apparatus for getting
the last image recorded on the retina.
If lie succeeds ii will be a new tri-
umph for the hospital and for SCI.
ence."
Gentlemen" said the stranger i'm.
pressivcly, IF the Doctors experiment
succeeds | believe on my soul that II
will also be a triumph for justice"
That afternoon DR.. Rosseau made
the experiment, with brilliant success ;
il was one of the first demonstrations
of the possibilities of colored photog.
raphy, Registered in the sensitive
film of the dead woman's eyes, was
found the distinct image of man of
unusual size, who clutched in his hands
an uplifted poker, The mans hair
was red, his eyes pale blue
Two months later such a man died
under the knife on the Place de la
Roquctte. lie had been arrested, con.
victed and condemned on the sole evi-
dence Of a pair of lifeless eye balls,
supported by the testimony of a WON.
an who had never seen him except in
a vision On the eve Of his execution
he made a full confession. lie stated
that the murder was a chance crime,
prompted only by greed lie had
reached the balcony running in front
OF Nos 2 and 1 Rue Rreda by using
rope hung from the roof lie de.
2lEred that for about five minutes
while he was standing outside he had
hesitated whether 10 enter the apart.
ment Of No, or No 4. He had rest
I'd tho decision on the turn of coin.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-09-19

of the Holt House, but for them il
was silent. That signature was all
they had to hold by. She had been
there once-she might come again.
At six came the barber, After pay.
ing a morning call Oh the barkeeper
as was his custom, he took his towels
and soap to make ready for business
The Office was almost deserted. The
smart drummer was prcking up his
ears over n newspaper tale of million.
aires; the little fat man who had
slept on a slab was writing a telegram
and eXhaling steam; couple Of maids
on wet knees were wiping up the
marble floor; row of dusky bell-boys
were nodding on a bench; and the
clerks behind the counter were busilS
writing
Suddenly q piercing scream broke
the stiffness. Win and the colonel
jumped to their feet-there was some.
thing familiar about that scream
Clerks, bell-boys, maids, men and bar.
keeper followed the sound to the bar.
Der shop. At the door, flying straight
into Wits arms, came Patty, a big
swipe of lather on one cheek. She
looked at WILL at her father, and ut,
tered glad cry. The frightened bar
ber hurried to explain--he had mis-.
taken her curly head for a customer.
But Patty had forgotten her terror
and her sorrows. She continued to
embrace impartially viii and her
father leaving big dabs of tear-mixed
lather on the coats of each. VIII
looked ecstatic. An embrace from
this Virginia girl was as good as an
Il will" before the altar. Suddenly
she recovered herself, Strengthened ~
and said with dignity:
81 thought warned you not to
come"
But willing to be compared TO the
fascinating Kentuckians, | have ven.
tured 20 disobey you; you seem to
have succumbed at first sight"