The Florida star. (Titusville, Fla.) 1880-1917, 1908-08-28
SHORT MISCELLANY


Ethereal vorouo Mundane.
Two men sat on park bench one
starry evening. Through powerful
glasses they were examining the TRINA
ment II was apparent that one OF
them was an enthusiastic astronomer.
He seemed su1ieiently familiar with
tho smallest star 60 call 1t by its first
name-thati Is, IL stars have first names.
Drawing his companlpp's attention
70 a particular star In close proximity
to.tbe handle Of the dipper. he said:
sPerhaps you may be able to appre-
ciate the immensely OF distance be-
tween that star and our earth when
say II would take more than hdn-
dred years for forty horsepower au-
tomobile running at full speed to
reach t."
BY the quality Of awe In his friends
voice Il was plain that he was unusual
~ impressed as be said:
Nor A hundred years? Why. man.
think Of the gasoline bIllr'
Laughs Better Than Tears.
bless all the apostolic college Of
humorists. The man that makes me
laugh is my benefactor. do not
thank anybody to make me cry. I
can do that without any assistance.
We all cry enough and have enough
TO CRY about. God bless all skillful
punsters. all reparteeists. all PROFOUND
ers Of Ingenious conundrums. all those
who mirthfully surprise US With un-
usual juxtaposltion Of words. Thomas
Hood and Charles Dickens and sgd
me- Smith had q divine mission. and
no have their successors In these times.
They stir into the acid beverage Of life
the saccharine. They make the cup
OF earthly existence, which Is some
times STALE effervesce and bubble.
They placate animosities. They foster
longevity. They Slay foIlies and alb
surditles which all the sermons Of all
the pulpits cannot reach.-T. De Witt
Talmage.
No Way Of Finding Out.
One does not usually make a virtue
t0f fault finding. but 1t seems, by Rich
ard Grant Whites experience. that II
has its. valuable part In social econ
omy. Grumbling has always been con
sidened a prerogative Of John Bull
and not an agreeable one. but the In
cident taken. from England Without
and Within" shows that It has Its uses
II had been a little over week IN
London lodgings and had my break
fasts served by the houSekeeper. One
morning the maid said an she took my
tray: lr
arm afraid we shan't satisfy you
sir, with your breakfasts"
I told her my breakfasts were very
good; that the tea. eggs. bacon. 1sh
mullins and marmalade were gOoC
enough for any man and all l wished.
''YeS. SIR, but you never gTumbl'
about anything you have. and so W,
don't know how to please you"
Thought She Knew Him.
A short time ago a surgeon had tire
leg amputations in a week. The IN
usual number caused talk In the SUI
geon's household. and his little daugh
ter Dorothy was greatly interested.
few days after the last operation tn
surgeons wife and little Dorothy wer
rummaging the attic In a trunk wa
found q daguerreotype depicting a gin
about eight years Of age. The pol
trait, through a peculiarly OF pOsC
showed only one leg Of the subject
the other being doubled under her.
Whose picture Is that, mamma ?
asked Dorothy.
child not much older than you ar
now.p
did you know papa thenr
mo. dear Why do you ask?"
81 thought maybe you did. 'caus
you've only got one leg."-Delineator
Plain English.
Stubbins' wife came into the rOor
where he was sitting. She was twls
ing herself around In the effort I
look at the back OF her new blOust
about her lips he knew that her mout
was full OF pins.
"Umph Il oof - sun wuff sh-
ffsprOgr she said.
The brilliant sally caused him to loo
up
YES" he said; lit looks very we'll"
"0wf-wuff-so-gs-ph- INF ugh
ightw was her next remark.
Perhaps II would look better II yo
did that" he said; but. still. 1t III
very nicely as It is
She gasped and emptied the pins int
her hand. Then she said with asperit.
..I'ra nEkad Won twice to raise IL