Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-08-16
The Real Humor of MeIodrama,

exclaims: For that III never marry
you, YOU spalpeen."
Come now, Mary, You know you
love me-" he says. approaching hen
with some. care.
When He Gets Within Range.
When he gets within range she
suddenly lets him nave 1t over the
face. He. OF course. falls down. and
this brings hrth great deal OF
laughter. This is the average con-
yersation between them, and IL is so
filled with wit, rerartce. and clever
ne.s that one cannot help but be
amused.
The amount which the freshman can
drink Is extraordinary, for every few
minutes he Is taking swig from his
flask, just to keep me throat from
getting parchcd." He Is q very useful
character and really is Il delight II
ne would only take little more care
OF himself he would be- In better
physical cCnGitiCn TO withstand the
knocking ABOUT which ne gets seven
times week and some Sundays How
ever, he seems to like 1t. and We
know We do This knock-atOut come
dian usually las side partner, anu
they really are source OF great
amusement. One usually enters from
one side swinging his shillalah ana
the other from the other side and they'
meet in the middle.
Where the devil have you been
! .epiug yourself?" asks O'Mara.
IN,
! :" answers Mike.
that place running YETI says
the former. and with that belabor
each other with their shillalaks. A
| few more of their choicest lines run
like this:
My BROTHER has his ups and downs
in life"
What is he?" asks Mike.
IAN elevator boy" Whereupon the
fight begins again.
| Il had million collars yesterday.
but | lost it in minute, says o.
Mara
"What-stocks? asks Mike.
mo; alarm clock" whereupon
thev make the battle of San Juan HUI
look like lady's afternoon tea.
The War Correspondent.
| The scene was laid in mountain
pass and the general was looking at
la map Of the Waldorf roof garden and
planning the battle for the next day
Sitting beside him is his lieutenant
who is equally interested in the map
spread before them. A camNfre
throws a fitful CLEAN upon the scene.
Without is heard the CHATTER of horses
hoofs away in the distance. They
grow nearer and nearer. louder and
louder, until with jig step they stop
without the wings and the courier
rushes in covered with -four and with
large daub of red paint across his
forehead. representing the terrible
fight which he has just been through
/ in order to reach the generals size
with the important papers, He rushes
| in and throws himself painting upon
the ground and holds the papers high
! in the air. The general takes them
j from his hand and, opening them, dis
covers that the courier has brought
him in a bill from his tailor. due some
six months, but being a finished actor
ana SUOi Vi u"
stances. especially when he is direct
ing a battle from the porch of his own
I house, sc hastily tears of the envei-
opc and excIaims "5'hank God. they
are safe,' By this time the courier
has fully recovered. SO much so thai!
the general tells him he is about to
send him on another nearly death
bearing mission He tells him that
he must go through the dreadfuf
swamp land over the mountains and
! carry a message to Gen. Runweil. 1t
is a matter of life and death. SO
with the speed of an antelope the
grave, lion-hearted courier dashcs on
again: VIC hear his fiery Steed's hoofs
dash OF in the distance.
A Game Of Solitaire Faro.
Sauntering in upon the scene non
'chalantly and smoking a cigarette.
comes the war correspondent. He sits
en- a gum log. and taking out pack
81 cards from his pocket he begins to
deal faro with himself He Is sppar-
emily absolutely unconcerned as to the
plans Of the general. yet the keen
! training which he got on the Evening
, BugIe. in a small but growing Wes-
tern town. has been so invaluable to
him that he scents news from afar.
In this particular scene. which de-
picted the battle 81 San Juan. we find
the war correspondent writing a ten
der missivc to his rest beloved and
telling her Of the great danger which
he Is in and the pe~ril he is hourly
facing while sitting safely ensconccd
between two huge powders. II Ii not
long before the audience is aware that
the great battle is on. for without can
h. heard a noise which is not unlike
a boiler factory and the shouts and
aries @. the wounded rise aBOve the
di.. Of .,oirn Tho War cnrrPSnnndenf.