davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
SENATOR TURNS EGGS HIMSELF
Dorchester Herald.)

Senator Curtis of Kansas-"The In
dian" as he is called-has won a well
deserved reputation as an after-dinner
wit, of late, despite his dignity on ordi-
nary occasions. Indeed, ii is this dig
nifty which makes his humor so deli
ciOus, for he scarcely ever raises his
voice above his usual grave, converse
tional tone.
At a recent dinner he convulsed his
hearers by telling them of a breakfast
experience at a hashhouse in a small
Indiana town. When the waiter
brought the ham and eggs, Mr.. Curtis
mildly suggested that the eggs be TAX
Ell back to the kitchen and turned
over. e.. fried on both sides. But in
a moment he wished he hadn't, for the
waiter, fixing him with a BOwery eye,
calculated:
Turned over, is ut? Well, if you
want them eggs turned over and are
too damn lazy to do it yerself, you get
outer here, see! What do you think
I'm here for, anyway"
THE Indian turned EN-
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
CoR Palmer CLOTHING.

The New York Times believes that
an era of dress reform is at hand. in
proof of which it cites the restrictions
put upon the pupils at New York
school in the way of clothing 1t COM
ments in commentator of the innova-
ton as follows:
We sympathize with the young ladies
of the Horace Mann school who are to
be deprived of the privilege of wearing
puffS, big hats, high-heeled shoes and
spectacular waists until their education
is finished. But, after all, every girl
looks we'll i'm the students cap and
gown, and there are other compensa-
lions. We are passing through an era
of eXtraVagant styles in woman's dress,
and these young ladies will be glad to
remember, later in life, that they were
never so vulgar as to wear Merry
Widow hats" and Lolita Faust col
lars" The news from Paris Is that
fashionable dresses are so tight as to
cause some alarm. A woman dressed
in the most approved style makes a
trained anatomist wonder what she has
done with a large part of her material
self
This may be astonishing, {the aim of
the inventors of recent fashions seems
to be merely TO astonish,) but it is GER
tainly not beautiful, and it will not
last BY the time the pupils of the
Horace Mann school are ready to
come out" there will be saner fash
ions And when old prints of 1868
are brought to light. in later years. it
will be something of a respectable
woman to be able to tell her daughters
that she never dressed like those
frightS.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07

valuable garments were destroyed be-
fore the blaze was out.
DR.. Barrows got the insurance man
on the telephone and told him what
had happened. The agent went to the
house, prepared an adjustment report,
and forwarded il TO the insurance COM
pany. not more than twenty-four hours
after the instance of the policy.
Two days later DR.. Barrows had a
telegram from the secretary of the
company, an old friend of his.
Your policy written morning of
Wednesday" it read: fire was at
o'clock Why this delay?"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
AN IMPAIRMENT QUESTION.
lNew York Press.l

When the Rev. John Henry Barrows.
organizer of the World Congress of
Religions. held in Chicago in 1893, was
president of Oberlin college he was
approached by an insurance agent who
wanted to write a policy on his house
hold goods
To this the man of education agreed
after some talk. Next morning the pol
city was delivered and the agents re-
port forwarded to the company.
Late in the afternoon Mrs. Barrows
went to her room, and there saw
smoke coming out around the closet
door She pulled the door open and
found fire smouldering around the
clothes which draped the wall. Some
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
RuTIERMILk.

(Springfield JournaD
(which is the COW that gives the but
termilk?" innocently asked the young
lady from the city. who was inspecting
the herd with a critical eye.
Don't make yourself ridiculous" said
the young lady who had been in the
country before and knew a thing or two.
Goats give buttermilk."
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
ONE POINT IN HIS FAVOR.
Sacred Heart Review

ISacred Heart ReVleW.l
A witty priest was once visiting self
made millionaire who took him to see
his seldom-used library.
There, said the millionaire pointing
TO a table covered with books, there are
my best friends"
All" replied the wit. as he glanced at
the leaves, I'm glad you don't cut them"
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
MARRIAGE LICENSES.

el32-John NJ McComant. Ogden.
Maud Shurtliff Ogden.
6132-Joseph Z. Jepperson Salt Lake.
Elisa Christensen. Salt Lake
6134-Thomas Kelly, Goldfield, New
Mary Ann Crehan, Salt Lake
6135-Charles n. Fehr, Salt Lake.
Nellie E. Street Salt Lake
6156-Dwight w. Wadleigh, Bingham Can.
yon.
Alice Bush. Bingham Canyon
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07

The city council, in a body, will at
tend the church of Rev. Elmer l. Go
shen next Sunday morning As the
preacher has promised to present proof
of rascality on the part Of the city of
flciaIs, it is presumed the edifice viii
be crowded to the doors. Let there be
light
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07

question 10 be asked What kind
of pulp does a man have who doe IN /
connect his property with the sewer
system? There are many fragrant in-
stances of favoritism in this matter,
and those who have Obeyed the law
and spent their money to improve san
itary conditions naturally do not see
any benefits derived from the eXpendi-
ture when their next door neighbOrs
are subject to primitive conditions. The
attention of the authorities is inyi ed
to this state of affairs.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
FOR MODERN HEALTH.

Catholic Standard and Times)
8" In aqua sanitas. quoted the mod
ern observer. Now, there's an axiom
that needs to be revised"
What's the idea?" inquired the plain
citizen
We'll, to be correct IL should read:
In boiled aqua sanitas.'
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07

There are indications that the old
Smoothbore Cannon will not be needed
in congress after the next session. Fur
Their use will probably be restricted TO
couny fairs in the vicinity of Danville,
III.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07

The council is still wrestling with the
problem of fixing the terms of licenses
to be assessed against the telephone
companies. In view of the recent de-
cision of the supreme court, affirming
the principle of the license tax,
wouldn't it be a simple solution to liz
cense these companies under the terms
prescribed by law?
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07

So Mayor Bransford is going To
buckle on his armor and give battle to
the social evil when he returns from
San Francisco. Well. well. It is sin
cerely to be hoped that nothing will be
done to the colored courtesans and
their private secretaries, at least not
until after election.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
PRETTY NEAR 1T.
HERALD and Presbyter.D

theFdlQ ana FIeSDyteI-t
Now" said the teacher. who had been
giving an elementary talk upon architec-
ture, "can any little boy tell me what a
'buttress is?"
81 know" shouted Tommy Smart "A
nanny goat
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07

Ii probably wont take President
Roosevelt long to write his final mes
sage to congress, which will doubtless
he wOrded as follows: - - -
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07

If Thaw fails to get out of Dippy-
VILE. il may dawn upon his remnant Of
a mind that perhaps Lawyer Delmas
made the best fight for him after all.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07

Roosevelt can break the solid south.
He should be the nomiee," cry the idol
worshipers. Maybe he can. He has
pretty nearly broken the solid north
and the solid west already. If the
south has thus far escaped ii is lucky.
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07

The future of the country does not
depend upon the men of today, but
upon the rising generation. Salt Lake
begs 10 introduce the High school cadet
battalion now in San Francisco as a
superfine example of young America,
and to assure the rest of the country
that the people are proud of the result
of the effort to combine patriotism
with intelligence in the public schools,
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
WEATHER FOR SALT LAKE.
THE METALS

Silver. SIC per ounce.
Copper (cathodes), u 9-16c per pound.
Lead. A.l2ls per 100 pounds .
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
Total Copies of The Herald Printed
in April. 1908.
ADJUSTMENTS TODAY.

Orpheum-Matinee and night, vaude-
yille .-
Grand-''The Queen of the White
Slaves
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
Yours and Ours

We supply to your children just as good food as
we demand for children.
We know that the wheat should be steam-cOoked
for six hours So we do that
Each berry should then be faxed so thin that the
full oven heat gets to the center
Then fierce heat must be applied to break down
the granules of starch. So we toast the flakes for
80 minutes, at 400 degrees
To make Mapl-FIake requires 90 hours.
There are many ways where this work could be
sighted and the taste would not show it.
Faked wheat be made, and is made, in one
fourth of the time we spend it.
We could sell you the package for 10 cents in
stead of Is cents, if we made those economies.
But would not give halfcooked wheat to our
children, don't to yours.
We know that starch, unless properly cooked, is
insoluble. The particles are not separated so the
digestive juices get to them So we spend 90
hours to get food that's all food, all digestibe.
And we flavor it with pure maple syrup so that
the food which is best for the child will be the food
that it wants. esSEzszx1Sz-
expensive course, for sfse - .- -
! !. :: ! : 49,
boil the pure maple with the wheat ~ &SXH1AEa
when But a child chooses food f4~RYNEIATH-
largely by all concerned - EyEzBX1.
induce the child food n9GTH&EKA
should &S1 NES~kaV
Mapl-Flake $ the only wheat food which 90 BNU
entirely dges Our long process does all
necessary -
Please yours ~ uscs Eslrurn ursru
Ens Se fe es s. an. as ss ssss cages
The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-05-07
Terms of Subscription.

DAILY AND SUNDAY-One month IS
cents; three months. $3.50: one year. 5000.
SUNDAY-One year, 500
SEMI WEEKLY-Qn advance). one
year, $50; six months. 70 cents.
Subscribers wishing address of paper
changed must give former as well as
present address.
1fll papers are continued until explicit
order is received TO discontinue. All ar
rearages must be paid in every case.
The broad ax., 1908-07-18
An Inn.nious suindI..

A large number Of chemists In Paris
have Just been the victims OF an In
geniOus swindle About 200 Of them
the other day received a visit from an
individual who handed In a prescrip-
ton TO be made up. Among the ingre-
dents was one which WAC quite IN
known to them, and a note was added
to the effect that 1t was TO be obtained
only at a certain wholesale depot. The
chemists almost to a man sent OF to
the depot for the special ingredient
and paid u francs for a bottle Of stun.
The prescriptions were duly made up.
but were never claimed. and 1t now
transpires that a couple Of men had
temporarily hired the depot and sold
bottles OF colored water to the unsus-
pecting chemists at u francs apiece.
The Paris police are anxiously inquir-
ing for them as well as for their con-
federates who visited the chemists
shops.
The broad ax., 1908-07-18
Max Is Ever MirthfuI.

h. 81. Rogers on his return voyage
from Bermuda last month said one
evening In the smoking room Of his
travelling companion, Mark Twain:
HE Is an incorrigible humorist. Even
In his most emotional moments he can't
help being funny.
~When he married in Elmira In 1870
his father-in-law made him a present
Of a fine. well furnished house Ia Buff
falo.
The present came as a superb sur
prise. Mark Twain knew nothing OF II
TIL, amid a party Of relatives and
friends. he was shown over the luxuri-
Gus place. Then when they told him
1t was his tears filed his eyes.
~But he was still the humorist. and,
turning to his father-in-law, he said,
though In a voice that trembled little:
Mr.. Langdon, whenever you're IN
Buffalo. II It's as much as twice a
year, you are TO come right up here
and take tea. You can stay all night
too. II you want to. and II shan't cost
you a cent Philadelphia Record.
The broad ax., 1908-07-18
His First oHense.

". G. Philips Of the Association For
Improving the Condition Of the Poor
said recently In New York that among
infants arti6ciaIly fed fifteen times
more died than among those fed nat
uralIy.
I'VE win learn in the end to live
correctly said Mr.. Philips. AS
things stand now we are not much
wiser in our way Of living than an I'm
migrant Of whom heard the other
day.
This immigrant, a Magyar, was ar
rested for stealing a bottle Of whisky.
At the station house the sergeant said
to him, pointing toward a tub:
strip and take bath
-'vatf Go In de vaterT shrieked
the Magyar.
yes said the sergeant; take q
bath. You need it. How long Is #
since you have had q bathr
The Magyar lifted up his hands and
rolled his eyes.
-soh.' be said. 4 never was arrested
beforeF
The broad ax., 1908-07-18
A Faahion Mixup.

There Is no lack Of variety In clothes
this season. II your purse Is full
enough to order a dozen or>more gowns
you can have each one In style and en-
tirely different in line, color and con-
ceptiOn from the others.
There have been few seasons when
so many kinds Of fashions were jum-
bled upon each other without rhyme or
reason. Possibly this is because all
the designers tried to get something
new and all the customers went on on
tangents Of their own. This resulted In
a miXup.
Short and stout figures. long and lean
ones, those who like extremes and
those who do not, can all be suited in
the variety Of styles that are In first
class this year.
The short waist is as stylish as ever.
and yet the extremely long waist. al.
most pinched in at an exaggerated
length, is equally favored. Long and
short coats are IN each wardrobe, and
loose and tight ones are equally worn.
The broad ax., 1908-07-18
Barrels of Money.

As the dot Of his bride. Grand Duch-
ess Maria Paulowna OF Russia, $780,
900 rubles have been deposited TO the
credit OF Prince Wilhelm Of Sweden.
The money was shipped from ST. Pc
tersburg in thirty-five barrels, each
containing 10000 rubles in gold The
Swedish royal mint win recast the gold
into Swedish values free Of charge,
and the young couple win then be en-
abled to establish their royal menage
on a fitting scale. While this sum is a
free gift Of the bride to her husband,
the grand duchess retains the income
from her landed estates In Russia for
her own pin money. and in addition to
this the car Is having built at his own
expense a castle for the royal "honey'
mooners" near the eapital.-Argonaut
The broad ax., 1908-07-18


Eugene Waiter, the extraordinarily
successful young playwright said ct
q recent dinner IN his honor IN New
York:
she playwright to succeed must
make his point inevitably. Every point
By fair means or foul. must be cap
tured- Not a loophols for failure 70
creep IN may be left"
Mr.. Walter smiled.
sTn fact" said be, ssthe playwright
must be as sure Of his point as was
the young lady who took advantage Of
the present leap year to propose.
~sShe didn't give me q chance her
husband explained afterward 10 q
friend. she said: ''Wm you marry mel
Have You any objeetonr Thus.
uhethsr said yes or no. she had me
cornered
wen, yo6 might have kept silent
said the friend
aerhat Is what ] did the other ~
rfied. ana ehe eung herself on my
breast. murmurins that silence savs
consenk,
The broad ax., 1908-07-18

bout You all is puffy safe. You see,
just befo' you ell cum in / had a diff
hculty with a porter an had to put
him out he rasped me once or twice
while was doin' It an he jist come
back an threw In a chunk OF iron that
hit me I'm the forehead. He's comm
back In a few minutes to throw In
another chunk Of iron, but you all is
puffy safe. III stand here between
you all an the do. an all you got to
do is 10 dodge when do"
The broad ax., 1908-07-18
Wonderful Surgery.

Among recent wonderful surgical or
erations Is one OF the most daring and
unusual nature. An idiot six years old
the daughter Of a resident OF Berlin
has been converted into an Intelligent
being BY the process OF grafting par
of the mothers thyroid gland upon the
ehiId's pancreas. In more popular Ian
guage, this means that part Of the
mothers throat has been transferred
by tho grating process to gland. oil
tissue, lying directly at the back Of the
stomach. The operation was carried
out by DR.. Carl Care. a German sur
geon. whose success In the transplant
ing Of organs from one animal to an
other and even from the lower AMI
mails to human beings has attracted
wide attention
The broad ax., 1908-07-18
COUNTING THE STARS.
uss Mads Of the Mieroseops and q
PhotOsraphie Plates.

- Maoe o. the microscope and 81
Photographs Plates.
The gigantic but fascinating task
which ]. Franklln-Adams. +. R. A. s..
has undertaken OF counting the myriad
stars In the heavens and assigning 70
each Its proper magnitude Is one which
demands the quality OF almost Infinite
patience.
Mr.. Frankiln-Adams has already Sc
cured Photographic plates covering the
whole oftke southern hemisphere, and
these, with the series dealing with the
northern hemisphere. win number more
than 200. Each plate, which Is fifteen
inches square, records from 10000 to
10000 starry images, and on q rough
calculation the total number OF stars
photographed win prove to be about
100000.
The task OF counting the stars on the
plates has already been commenced,
and that work. together with the cata-
logulng. viii take another ten years.
The method of counting the stars on
the plates was explained by r. ].
Mitchell, Mr.. Franklln-Adams' chief
assistant.
First taking one OF the plates" said
Mr.. Mitchell, I'VE move II across a
graduated grating contained In the
field Of high powered microscope. A
horizontal strip In the grating Is then
examined. and the stars In this small
area are then counted from left to
right. or course II is impossible to In
sure absolute accuracy, for there Is the
possibility that a star may be counted
twice or missed altogether.
Then there Is the difficulty present
ed by mechanical speeks on the plates.
which may at first be taken for stars,
but Mr.. Franklin-Adams has a method
by means Of which all stars above the
tenth magnitude can be differentiated
from dust specks. Mr.. Franklin-Ad-
ans and his assistants check one an
other in the counting, but there Is al
ways a slight difference In the totals,
due, OF course. to the personal equa-
ton as represented by the operator.
Merely TO count the stars on an
average plate apart from noting their
Photographic magnitude occupies the
time Of two men for more than a fort
night II they work seven hours a day.
In taking the plates Mr.. Franklin-Ad-
ans used triple achromatic ten inch
lens working at F4. In the northern
hemisphere the minimum exposure was
two hours twenty minutes and In the
southern with its clear atmosphere
two hOurs."-London Mail.
The broad ax., 1908-07-18

Over 1000 years ago Switzerland pos
sessed a forest system and had de-
veloped a scientific forestry BY the
fifteenth century. says the American
Magazine. As early as Louis XIV.
Franee aWoke TO the fact that her for
ests and her life were draining away
together. But It was too late. Today
she Is spending So an acre to reforest
her watersheds The same experience
4 costing Italy so an acre.
The broad ax., 1908-07-18
NEW SHORT sroRiEs


James & MCGUIRE, former mayor Of
syneuse and a big Democratic poli-
ucian In New York state. was IN wash
lngton not long asO. says the saturday
Evening Post
Mr.. Mcclure has face that Is hard
20 shave. His experiences with the
hotel barber have been unsatisfactory
and he went down the street 70 see II
he couldn't End some one who could
take OF the hair and leave some Of the
skin
he went into shop where the bar
bers are negroes. He noticed when he
got IN the chair that the barber who
began lathering him was freely dec
GRATED on neck. forehead and cheeks
with dabs OF cotton held in place with
court plaster.
Here MCGUIRE shouted. ssWhat's
the matter with you? Who cut You
up that wsyi Tell me before you 20
on
-Why, boss" said the barber reas-
suringly. ''dey amt muffin to git cited
The broad ax., 1908-07-18

stiff tailor buckle, under which the
ends Of the aigret are tucked. Where
aigrets are not used soft, large bow
Of satin ribbon may be used. II viii
he even smarter and newer II both
edges Of the ribbon are trimmed with
a narrower ribbon the same shade, laid
in small box plaits or quilted and
stitched fast to the wide ribbon for q
border.
The broad ax., 1908-07-18

make extremely good trimmings, as
the weave OF the net corresponds nice
y to the mesh Of the material Yene-
uan point and the many princess laces
are fashionable this year for sumner
frocks, as are also eluny and torchon
lace. but Irish and Yalenciennes held
their own persistently. Net Is used TO
no small extent for gEimpes. collars
and sleeves. even In the an white wash
dresses.
The broad ax., 1908-07-18

Ambrose channel. leading from New
York bag into deep sea wates. y the
most important waterway 70 the ciKy-
since ifB Improvement was started
about seven years ago. more than 81
ooo. 900 has been spent on Il ana an
equal sun wiI1 Be required before the
worl that Is planned wl1 Be completed,
about four yeara from now.-New York
Herald
The broad ax., 1908-07-18
A Dainty cnztuna.

Batiste embroidery Of a hne quality
can be had IN both edSing and inser-
ton and for a gown Of the same tex
ture makes a most effective trimming.
giving, Of course. the effect Of en-
bToldery worked directly upon the
dress with far less cost. The Illus
tration shows a dress OF white en-
broidered batiste. For marquisette the
many flet embroideries and laees
The broad ax., 1908-07-18

II there is any suspicion hat the
ahor made Tor summer g a litae boo
Som0er or plain IN color the matter
can be righted By the choice Of q low
e trimmed hat. the lavish use q the
mowers being n inverse ratio 10 the
plainness Of the gown. Buf then snch
nat costs about a5 mBch a. tha tallor
made, and there you are. especially Il
me poeketbook i not q TIE telescope
variety.
The broad ax., 1908-07-18

- for sale At the following Rsvs
stands:
A. +. Tervalon. 1s4 ". 51st street
Cigar Store and News Stand
Geo. L Martin, maker Of fine cigars.
and news stand. S42 East s1st St
c. H. Green, cigars, tobacco and
news stand. z7IS State ct.
MrA Nellie Phelps, Cigars, Notions
and News Stand. 1s1 W. Stat street
I. B. HALLS CiUS Store -
Laundry Omes. ISL 8stA g.
Mrs. Alma A. Simpson. news agent
1855 State street
W. 8. Cole, s54 ThIrty-nrst street,
cigars, tobacco and news stand
J. R Peters Cigars. iroOaecO and
News Stand. sss 2. eth street
Mrs. A. E. Baker, Motions aad News
Stand. 41s, Ssth street
W. P. Johnson, Motion Store aAA
News Stand s7O4 State Il
Turner Williams Shaving PAEloE
and News stand. Soos AEnOs ava
\ Davis, d0aEs. tobacco, snd eoa-
fssti0aSEy. SSS3 STATE 81
C c. MeLain, cigars, tobacco and
news stand. 3oo6 State street
Mrs. J. W. HHiley 11s ". ElR -
ciEars. tobacco and news stand
Mrs. Kathsrins R Hamlet, Cigars.
tobacco, and fancy groceries and nSws
stand 5o5s Armour ave.
II. A. Johnson. news stand. oigarS
and tobacco. Ss18 state Street.
Tns InfDrmsr News Co. rs nan-
dolpA St. DOrU1L 49,
Ths standard News CO ia ". nra
st.. New York. CITY. ~ Z.
standard News Company, - ".
ISsth street New YORK cIly, ~ !.