Connecticut western news., 1908-03-05
"BALDY BEM|S"SEES
 WOMAN EMPIRE"
SAYS IT WAS "A NEW ONE ON HlM'

tatory and the valedictory-The
 Marquis of Gooseberry RuIes-The
 Iron Rings and the old Fish net
 A Belt on the Intellect"
 "Baldy Bemis" attended the basket ball game Tn Canaan and here is the
 Say, Bill, you missed it Saturday night. You'll make up your mind to open them langwidge receivers of yours the next time Pm sayin' thing is go. ing to be worth seein' when I've told you about what happened at that basket ball game. The bunch of us went in and set down. The lassies was heavin the pigskin fer fair, just to get in good workin' trim and between tryin' to dodge clip on the mug as the thing went where they didn't want it to (you've seen woman try to throw stone. It's something the same in basket balD and discussing the muscle they'll have for punching wad of dough or putin the shine on hardwood floor after this seasons closed, we didn't mind waitin for the show to begin.
 ''Red'' had the next seat and after we'd set therera few minutes, took a look at him and thought he'd gone clean dippy. He was mumblin' and countin his fingers. Thinkin' perhaps one of them girls had mes 'mrlsed him, gave him shake and says: "Come out of it. :" "Don't interrupt me train of thought. '' says Red.
 Train of thought! Say, that was a new one on me and after he'd been screw ing up his mug into all sorts of shapes and countin' his fingers like the folks Twin in the bug house he says: "This hain't none c yer cheap sport.''
 We let go of B picayunes for spot on these bleachers. The dispute runs it, using all the arithmetic that soaked into me ut,it's close to g. cent minute Gazin' at these fracases comes high"
 ''Yes", says I, "but we must see 'em J
 "A bulls eye for yours, "says he ''but quarter Is about the proper figger."
 "Yes," says l, "Fbut they see that'- and then the pigskin hit me a crack in the mug and when heaved 1t back to the damsel in the commodious bloomers, she handed me smile that made me forget what I was goin to say.
 Red" said it wasn't no smile but that when I looked at her she was just turn in over her gum to get new holt on it but you know Red is always dealin' out that sort O gulf when fair one passes him by fer some other guy.
 When they got through battin' the ball around, about half the wimmen in the audience had been cracked on the noddle with it and had their sky piece ridin' on one ear and all the men was actin like fellow what expects to be run down any minute by trolley car or a buzz cart.
 Then we heard noise like the whistle on the Twin Lakes steamboat and a young woman sashayed out onto the floor. And, say, before she'd put one "Queen Quality" ahead of the other two pairs of times, we all knowed she meant business. She put on the brake out in the middle of hall and gave one of them things what you hear spelled off at the graduation exercises by Willie or Mamie, with their names stretched out so long that yon have to divide lem up into chapters to read lem and really get the sense of Hem, @ sal something or other. Not what the-oh yes, saluta- tory, that's the thing-a salutatory. And say, she rattled it off like twas her regler business; no stage fright for \ hers.
 After she'd give it to 'em straight that these rules would be used in the first chapter and them rules in the second chapter, the lassies.begu to give their hair ribbons the last jab and pat fer the grand scramble and to see that their sweaters and neckties wasn't hangin' gkewgee.
 It was a new one on de gang to see a WOIuhu 6uplHc oA h .1euuuy uuue ten basket ball scramble and it struck lem dumb fer a minute. The first guy that got back his gift of gab let out somethin' bout gettin' busy and she sent him back wireless to shut the door of is grub basket and put on the Yale lock. And she got it off in way that tipped off the rest of the gang that she meant the hull of lem to be in on the game of corkin up their langwidge. And, say it was like Quaker meetin' there for a minute.
 Me and Red looked over the Sharon lnch and he whispered to me (didn't