The Penn's Grove record., 1908-03-13

- A hN.H
nd look exceeding wise.
IN shake your head and murmrr:
Hum!
mink he slurred the tempo some"
len the pianist bangs the keys,
.ssume a knowing pose.
idle your fingers, cross your knees,
md elevate your nose.
d when he's done remark: 81 think
executions on the blink"
Washington Herald.
Jumping.
She-@This paper says that a Miss
bic Lathrop, of CRANKY, Mass, runs
farm. What do you think OF
at?"
think it must keep her on
: jump"
The Heiress.
81 tell you she's down and out. She
ok the cunt"
What of it?"
Before the panic she wouldn't
,k at anything less than a duke
urier Journal.
Not MutiIated.
Bacon-"Going to keep a diary
xt year?"
Egbert-"Sure thing
Bacon-"Bought the diary yet?"
Egbert-"Don't have to. I've got
one 1 bought last year."-Yonkers
.tesman.
One Drawback.
an improvement il
IL be if the time ever comes when
can get a seat in the street
Violet-"Oh, I don't know. A girl
ould never be sure then that she
Is pretty. Puck.
Exactly.
Hortense Highschoo1 Doesn't
eddie Frat wear the most striking
othes?"
James Geometry-"Sure! Those
lttons he's got on that suit make
m look like an animated cash reg.
"-Chicago News.
At Fashionable Functions.
"You are a wonderful master Of -
e piano. 1 hear"
Il blay accompaniment come
ACSOLupdulluSAIS S4ASAhS- H
"Aggompaniments to gonversa.
ons. "-Home Magazine.
A Relief to Both.
"At last" he sighed, we're alone.
We been hoping for this chance"
so have l." said she very frankly.
"Ah you have guessed, then, that
to tell you that l love YOU"
" - - ~ -. W
It it over th.'-CathoIic Stand
d.
Boozeology.
81 thought you swore off drinking
the first of the year"
$50 1 did; 1 always do"
"But you're drinking now"
"Of course; if hadn't sworn on
gain, how could I swear off next
sar?" - Catholic Standard and
Proof Positive.
care you sure this horse will not
IN away?' asked the man who was
citing into the buggy.
Yep" replied the livery stable
eeper; 'there amt the least danger
at he'll run away, but he may trot
me comm back.'-Chicago Rec
'd-Herald.
Usually.
Business Man (busy with CORE
,ondence)-"In that telegram of
yesterday, he said, letter
blowing 1 don't see the letter
,re."
Stenographer-"Why, don't you re-
ember?-we received it the day be-
re we got the telegram Puck.
Special Enough.
30 you believe in special provi-
"Sure. When I was a boy the
hool attended was struck by light
ng one night and burned"
Nothing special about that"
"Oh, but it was just the night be-
re the circus came to town. Phil
Ledger.
A Good Reason.
II don't know who that woman is.
they tell me she is a Mrs. Some
,dy. She certainly is an awful hirt;
wonder her husband doesn't keep
er in better order. Doesn't he try
2"
NO"
"Why doesn't he?"
because, you see, his wife is a
idow. Baltimore American.
Fierce Critic.
Dick-"How is your woman's club
on these days?"
Eva-"Fine. 1 am on the hang
g committee now"
Dick-"Hanging committee? Do
,u hang ~pictures?"
Eva-"Oh, no. The hanging conf
ittee' sits at the club windows on
Tiny days and critieises the hang of
their sisters skirts as the latter
ISIS outside. Chicago New
Obscure Art.
~I'm afraid you don't appreciate
composition, /" remarked the mu-
clan.
NO." answered Mr.. Cumrox; ~in
l ~frankness, 1 must say l don't. 1t
seps me guessing"
Eyes l always have three guesses
why anybody wrote it in the first
ace, Why anybody plays 1t in the
cond, and why anybody listens to It
the third. Washington Star.