The Washington herald., 1908-02-02


derfully mitigated by modern inventions.
isn't il? Here's an advertisement in this
mornings paper of self-rocking cradle,
and another Of a self-cookiag range,
and
And now" exclaimed the Mere Man
cynically. IF we could only discover a
self-amusing husband
"There are plenty Of those, Mr.. Porter
And a self-raising child"
How perfectly lovely"
And a self=paying expense account"
The Bachelor Girl clapped her hands
with delight.
"slt down" She cried making room
beside herself on the studio divan. Il
like your mood to-day. Alr. Porter"
The Mere Mans cynicism dissolved be
meath her smile as the clouds beneath the
sun
"Of course" he said sympatheticany
as he sank gratefully into the Pronered
seat. ITS rather hard on YOU women"
Hard on us?" The Bachelor Girl drop
ped her newspaper with tinkle of silver
bangles.
This taking your job out Of your
hands" explained the Mere Man. "out of
the hands. he added with a sigh. that
once rocked the cradle and ruled the
verdi"
"Thev never did" retorted the Bach
elor Girl promptly. AT least. not the
same hands" and she picked up her
brushes and slipped on her studio apron
with a shrug of her shoulders. That's
,,,s-T..y4F4r ..14 y,vf,..r1. gfa -,s, fir,tr.E
leaning over to put the finishing touch on
the halo of a pink and purple Madonna,
invented IN order 20 deceive as into
keeping our hands out Of masculine af-
fairs. The hands that rule the world and
always have ruled it. are the ones that
wear diamonds and number five gloves
and polish their nails. and are put in
cold cream overnight. and dipped i'm rose
water every morning. You never heard
of Queen Elizabeth, or Nine, Pompa-
d0ur. or Cleopatra, or Joan OF Are OF
Nell GwynRe. OF Boadicea, or Helen of
Troy Of LUCerezia Borgia, or any woman
Who ever influenced a country or a king
rocking a cradle, did you? II they had
rocked cradles YOU wouldn't have heard
of them at ALL" and she put a fine line
around the halo with a confident sweep
OF her brush.
OH The Mere Man clear his
throat desperately. IF you mean that
men are occasionally beguilded by an
uusexed. unnatural dangerous creature
OF that kind"
L mean that they always are" re-
joined the Bachelor Girl decisiveIy. IF
they weren't" and she laughed softly,
that kind wouldn't be dangerous
And she added, pushing back her ban
giles and squirting thOUghtfully at the
halo. IF il should come TO a choice be-
tween being called a dangerous creature
or dubbed "a domestic trump nine wo-
men out of ten would break all the Grad
les TO pieces and fling them into the
fire"
Il do believe they would" exclaimed
the Mere Man with conviction.
But they don't have to" TetOTted the
Bachelor Girl ChccrfuIly. Thanks to the
incubator. and the self-TOcking cradle.
and the French nurse and the beauty
specialist a woman nowadays can be as
dangerous as ClrCe or Medusa and still
manage to be some sort of wife and
mother
ives" agreed the Mere Man, wryly,
"hut what sort of wife and MOTHER
''The very latest patent" returned the
Bachelor Girl, with a triumphant wave of
her brush "The ready-made sort-war-
ranted to fit any kind of domestic or
social situation. The sort that you find
everywhere in society. and apartment
hotels and around bargain counters and
all WOmCns clubs. And if she isn't exact
Is what your youthful fancy painted
sou must remembe- that it's your own
fault Jhat she is what she is II she
hadn't discovered that while the hand
that rocked the cradle was getting cali
l0used on the inside and knOttv on the
knuckles. You were of kissing the hand
that wore diamonds and had time TO keep
itself mauiCUred, she would still be
blissfuIly imagining that the nursery
rocking chair was the throne seat Ii
took Ions time and many shocks 90
wake Us ont of that peaceful dream
'ShOcks!" The Mere Man looked as
II he had at that moment received one.
The Bachelor Girl turned and regarded
him loftiIy.
Don't you suppose" She inquired I'm a
patronizing tone, that it was q shock TO
the Roman matrons TO discover that a
sOGl OF honor like Mare Antony could
see anything in a snake-like creature
with an Egyptian nose and rings on her
toes and no reputation to speak Of?
and don't you suppose that its a new
shock every time we find out that some
masculine paragon who has been writing
Of preaching about the sacradness Of the
American home OF painting MadOnna's
has gone off and gotten himself tangled
up with a Circe and overturned all our
theories The trouble is. and she turn
rI l.,--
man always has wanted a Madonna and
a Circe mixed, Delilah and a Gretchen
worked into one. And at last we've dis
covered how TO give it TO him. We've
found out that We can keep the domestic
machinery running and al the same time
marcel the hair, by rocking the cradle
by proxy. and living In apartment hotels
and buying the Children's clothes ready
made. and pinnins our faith TO bachelors
buttons and hole-proof socks. But il isn't
much fun, and the Bachelor Girl sighed
there Is nothing on earth she COntiu-
ued. sadly, that the average woman en-
joys more than doing her own homework
and making baby clothes, and embTOider-
ing pillows and curling a baby's hair;
but she has found out that IT doesn't pay;
and that while she is cutting out patterns
and making bibs some other woman is
cutting her out of "a husband and making
trouble"
And SO she cuts ont the whole thing"
added the Mere Man cynically and
makes up as and houri I've noticed that
nowadays every woman wants to be
subtle siren and that You can't tell a
mother OF nine children under a chiffon
veil and a mushroom hat from a girl Of
nineteen. But it's hard on the children.
"Oh I don't know the Bachelor Girl
tilted her chin thoughtfully, Ready
made children are usually much better
brought mp than homemade ones and not
half so likely 10 be spoiled The old