davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07

connective headlights, and that you
could see into them, and on several
Of the largest stars was sure could
see people moving, and the moon
seemed SO near that you could catch
the smile of the man in the moon, and
see him wink at you.
The two men had to remain awake
all night, but after awhile l said
guessed l would have my berth made
up, and the boss man handed me a
shredded wheat biscuit for a pillow,
and laid me down by the sand bags
and the canned food, and threw
blanket over me, and slept all night
sailing over the states, the balloon
moving SO still there was no sound a.
all.
woke up once or twice and
listened for street car or some noise
to put me to sleep again, and found
myself wishing there was fire, SO a
fire department would go changing by.
making noise that would be welcome
in the terrible stiffness.
/ dreamed the awfulest dreams, and
thought l saw pa, in another balloon
with rawhide in his hand, chasing
me, and the great bear in the heavens
seemed to be getting up on his hind
legs, with his mouth open, ready to
hug me to his hairy chest.
1t was terrible night, and at day
light the boss man woke me up and
looked over the side of the basket and
We were going across piece of water
where there were battle ships lined up
like they were at Santiago when Ceye-
ra's fleet was smashed, and the men
said now was the time to demonstrate
whether balloons would be serviceable
in case of war, and told me to take
a bundle Of matted milk advertise.
ments, and imagine 1t was a dynamite
bomb, and see If could land it ON
the deck Of big white battleship.
took good aim and let the bundle 60
and 1t struck on the deck just IL front
of cross looking old man n white
uniform. and scattered all over the
deck and the sailors and marines came
up on deck in wild stampede, and
threw the matted milk advertisements
overheard. and az we sailed on there
was an explosion OF red hot language
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07

from the cross looking man in the
white uniform, and the boss balloon
man said: THAT is a good shot, Bub,
for you landed that bundle of alleged
dynamite square on the deck Of Ad.
miral Bob Evans flagship. Didn't you
hear him swear?" and then we went
on, and the man In the white uniform
was shaking his fists and his mouth
was working overtime, but we could
mt hear the brand of profanity he was
emitting, but we knew he was going
some, for before we got out of hearing
the bugles were sounding on more
than dozen battleships, the men
came up from below and took positions
in the rigging and everywhere, and all
was alive with action, and the boss bal
loon man said the fleet was preparing
for its trip around the horn, to San
Francisco, and then l told the bal
loon man that he couldn't land me
minute too quick, because l was 60
ing to join that fleet and go with Bob
Evans, IL I never did another thing in
my life.
The inspiration came to me up
there in the rarefied air, and / was as
sure I was going around the horn as
though 1 was already on one Of the
ships.
We sailed along part Of the day
and the gas began to give out, and
had to throw over ballast, and open
cans Of food, and bottles of stuff to
drink, and / made some good shots
with the sand bags and the bottles.
Once I hit right in front of brake
man on freight train with bottle
Of soda water, and again l hit an
oyster schooner with sand bag and
must have chuckled at least barrel
Of oysters. The gas kept escaping,
and presently we came down in a
field in Delaware, after 4 had hit a
chief Of police in Wilmington with a
bottle Of beer, which Is crime in a
prohibition country, and after we
landed the police arrested the two
balloon men, and tied up the balloon.
They paid me $50 for my services,
and l took train for Fortress Mon
'oe to join the fleet, and left the two
balloon men on the way to whip
ping post.
Copyright, 1903, by w. G. Chapman)
Copyright in Great Brittany
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
Doctors Only Earmarks.

Speaking of typewriters coming
into such general use," remarked B.
g. McNulty, of San Antonio, former
superintendent of the state Deaf and
Dumb asylum, Il have friend over
in San Antonio, DR.. T. T, Jackson, who
correspondent with me all the time
was in office in Austin. The doctor
writes such miserable hand that
half the time l could not tell what he
was writing me about.
when he got appointed surgeon Of
he Southern Pacific over there he
fixed himself up an Office on larger
scale and engaged a typewritist. The
next letter I got from him after that
was turned out in faultless style on a
typewriter. and the only earmark Of
the Doctors in it was his signature.
knew from its contents and from
he letterhead that it was from Jack
son.
$50 l sat down and wrote him:
Dear Doc: I am glad you have got a
typewriter. l was able to read all Of
your last letter except the signature. !"
Houston Post.
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07


dies hit the grand stand, and explod-
ed, and about a million circulars adj
vertising pills and breakfast food
STRUCK the track, and of all the STAN
pedes you ever saw that was the worst,
horses running away, riders fell of.
carriages tipped over, and the people
In the grand stand falling over them
selves, and as we sailed along none
Of us seemed to care two whoops
whether anybody was killed or not.
It was the craziness Of being up in the
air, and not caring for responsibility,
like drunken chauffeur running
crazy automobile through crowd Of
children, and acting mad because they
were in the way of progress.
We laughed and chuckled at the
sensation we had caused. but cared no
more for the results than hired girl
who starts fire with kerosene.
1t came on dark after a while, and
all we had to do was to look at the
stars and the moon, and it seemed to
me that the stars were as big as To-
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
HE BOlNBARDS sa
1 THE POPULACE

When our balloon left st. Louis, and
got up in the air 30 far that the earth
looked like piece OF rag carpet, with
popcorn scattered over 1t, which were
villages, and realized that II anything
busted, we would be dropping for
hours before we struck church steep
lie, and would be SO dead when we hit
the ground, and stiff and cold, that
we would be driven down in the mud
so far no one would ever find US, and
looked at the two fool men In the
care what became Of them, as though
they were unhappily married or had
money in shaky bank, 1 began to
choke up, and the tears came to my
eyes, and l took a long breath Of thin
air, and tainted dead away.
When tainted we were being driven
south, and when I came to, with a
emell Of ammonia on my hair, we were
going east, and the balloon had gone
down within mile of the earth, and
the men gave me some hot tea out of
a patent bottle, and pretty soon / be-
gan to enjoy myself and wonder IL
could hit mess Of negroes picking
cotton in field, with a sand bag.
When you are up in the air SO far
that a policeman cannot reach you,
you feel loose enough to insult men
that would knock your block Off If you
should give them any lip when you
were on the ground.
and I asked the boss man If might
throw sand bag at the negroes, and
he said | might throw bundle Of ad-
vertisements for liver pills at them, so
! yelled: Hello, you black rabbits"
and when the negroes looked up and
saw the balloon, they turned pale. and
dropped on their knees. and guess
they began to pray, and didn't mean
to interfere with their devotions, 80
threw bottle of ginger ale at mule
hitched to wagon near them, and
when the bottle struck the mule on
the head and exploded and the ginger
ale began to squirt all over the colored
population, the mule ran one way with
the wagon, and the negroes ran for
the cane brakes. The boss man in the
balloon complimented me on being a
good shot, and said had many char
acteristics of true balloonist, and
probably before we got to the end of
the trip l would get SO I could hit a
church steeple with bag of ballast,
and break up Sunday school In the
basement. He said that being up in
the rarefied air made man feel as
though he would like to commit MUIR
der, and found out that was so, for
the next town we passed over when
all the people were out in the main
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
ALL HIS OWN.

my! What big figure you are
setting!"
well, what does that matter? I
haven't taken yours, have II"
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
Laundry work at home would be

Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, 1t is usually neces-
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear.
ing quality of the goods. This trou-
BILE can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it can be applied
much more thinly because of it's great.
or strength than other makes.
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
Snakes, Ears.

Snakes have no external ears, but
inside the head the ear bones are
very crude, says St. Nicholas. Snakes
hear" however. by feeling vibration
ering, and searching for sound vibra.
tons by protruding the wonderfully
sensitive tongue which is filled with
thousands of microscopic nerves. Their
sight is very keen in distinguishing
moving objects.
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
HoW's This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
Catnrrh Cure.
+. ]. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
We. the undersigned, have known +. J. Cheney
for the last 10 years, and believe him perfectly hon
orable in all business transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligations made by his firm
WALDING, KINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, o.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally. acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces OF the
lystem. Testimonials sent free. Price IS cents per
bottle. Sold by all Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
Reassurinu.

A lady on one Of the ocean liners
who seemed very much afraid OF Ice
bergs asked the captain what would
happen In case of collision. The
captain replied: "The iceberg would
move right along. madam, just as II
nothing bad happened" and the old
lady seemed greatly relieved.
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
An Ambitious Mother,

Hubby" said the observant wife,
"the janitor of these flats is bach.
elor."
What of it,"
II really think he is becoming in.
terested in our oldest daughter"
There you go again with your pipe
dreams Last week it was a duke"
-Everybody's Magazine.
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07

1t, but along towards evening we
passed over a town in Tennessee or
Kentucky, where there was race
track. and races going on, and just as
we got oversit + said to the boss bal
loon man: Just watch me break up
that show" and ! pitched overheard q
whole mesa OF adxertisements of dit,
ferent things we carried, and two bun
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
Something New for the Dead.

Glass headstones are the latest
mortuary device sent forth to order
from inventive Pittsburg. Not only
the epitaph, but also the photograph
Of the deceased person, will be blown
into the glass, thus giving joint In.
destructibility to both fame end
features.
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07

street, and the balloon man told me
90 throw over bag of sand, SO we
could go up higher. instead Of trying
20 throw the bag ipto a field, where
there was nobodyato be hurt or fright
ened. do you know. I SHE'D that bag
1T . fountain In the public square and
laughed like s o = crazy person
whom the water splashed al ever
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
Advice from a Mise Man.

After getting the best of man in
one deal steer clear of him, for he
will begin to sit up and take notice.
Exchange.
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
Genealogical Trees.

/ make little account Of genealogical
irees- Mere family never made man
great. Thought and deed, not pedl-
gree. are the passports to enduring
fame.-Gen, Skobeleff.
The Jasper news., 1908-11-07
A Matter Of Taste.

A doctor calls butternllk the elixir
Of life. Unless you get 1t early 1t usu-
ally tastes like an elixir o. tin can
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
Io Told the Reason.

"The aeronhut to get along must
keep his wits about him." said an ar
my official. Under the most adverse
circumstances be must not lose his
head. Always he must be alert and
ready, like-like-well like q scientist
l used TO know. "a
This scientist gave n scientific lee
ture in church one night, and ut the
lectures end he said. beaming on his
audience condescendingly:
CHOW, IL there Is any scientific
question that any of my friends would
like to ask, beg them not to hesitate.
shall be only too happy to answer
any inquiry In my power
IAN old lady in spectacles that gave
her severe. stern look rose and said
"'why do wet tea leaves kill
roachesr
"Ihe scientist didn't know they did,
let alone the cause Of the phenomenon
But. never at n loss. he replied.
Because, madam, when q roach
comes across wet tea ieaf he says
Hello, here's a bianketI" and wraps
himself up in 1t, catches cola and
dies "-Los Angeles Timea.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
A Memory Of a Lo., polioh..

A fireplace any one may have, and
to me the wonder is that our ciyilIza-
ton has abolished the very soul from
pur northern homes. Fire Is no longer
the JOY of the household but the
slave. imprisoned in the cellar. All,
1ut 1t was delicious when the old
fashioned family sat together in the
great Kitchen around the huge fire.
place. All the evening we told stories.
tie doughnuts, drank elder, all the
time pairing apples and hanging the
long festoons of quarters from the
beams. But the dear little mother.
The 1t was who told the best storlcs
while she was knitting mufilers and
socks or mending our we'll worn cloth
ing. There We're no parlors ut NIL In
these days, and as FOR thrummed pi-
amos, we had not yet heard OF them.
At 0 O'clock. honest and drowsy, we
knelt and thanked God for life ma
love and home. Our hunks and beds
and trundle beds were all In close
proximity. and from every one of
them we could see the flames, still
jumping up the chimney while the big
lirelog was slowly eaten through
There was not ono millionaire in all
the world, and. indeed, we were not
worried over the affair.-D. p. Powell
In Outing Magazine.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05

February had twenty eight days in
ordinary years and twenty-nine In
leap year. --..l ...-- s....s.
Since the timo of the Caesars,
however, it has ben found acessary
to reduce the number OF leap years.
If the dictionary were consulted for
the meaning of leap year. It would
probably read, every fourth year
That answer-though 1t would have
lone We'll in Caesars tlme-is not
Greet now, because the arrango-
nenis which had been arrived al
made the year of the proper length
except only the fraction OF IN hour
The year was, on an average, 1861
lays long, whereas tho SUMS reyolu
| ION Is eleven minutes, ten seconds
less than that. This slight error
might have ben corrected Mt once by
(, reduction In the number Of leap
7ears But the error was allowed 10
grow, so that by A. ID. 1852, the year
IN which 1t was corrected, 1t amount
cd to ten days. In that year Pope
Gregory decreed that the 9Th of o.
lober be the 18th, thus cancelling the
error of the past.
The correction was not adoptel Dy
Ill the countries at once, hut gave
r'se 10 what is known as the new
lyle. and in soiue places in Great
britain the terms are regulated ny
lie old style.
Having corrected the error of The
pnst, tupo Gregory endeavorel 10
wevent It's recurrence In the future
The error vas equivalent to an ex-
Tess of about three days in four cen.
turtles. SO he dccreed that of the last
years of the century only those which
are Invisible by 400 are leap years
So that, though 1000. multiple OF
400. was leap year, 1900, 1900 and
1900 were not leap years.
The year is now just exactly MS il
was after Gregory had corrected 1t
Even after his correction. however
here remains a slight mistake, bu,
1t is SO small that It will amout
% only n day In 5000 years. The
error is one of excess. so It Is pro
posed to make the year 1000, other
wise n yeap year, COMMON year.
After that the calculations are SO
minute that the length of the year
Will SO exactly correspond to the
earth's revolution around the sun that
they will not differ more than day
in n thousand centuries.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
The Main Question.

Representative John shafp Williams
10 retailing an nnecdote TO the groups
that now frequent the capitol which
he proncuncea the best bit OF wit Inc
has heard in II long time. 1t was dur
Ing the recent aIlnsisslppi gubernas
torini campaign, when the Hon, jon
Truly was one OF the unsuccessful as.
pirants for the majority aiifffago Of
his fellow citizens. az y, ~ 7. /;
Prohibition doctrines ilgured In the
STRUGGLE rs In many latter day po-
litical struggles OF the aoutl,. and seem.
ed very important to n Methodist mir
later whose name Mr.. Williams omit
ted to mention
"Brother Truly" said tho minister,
II want TO ask you a question. DO yon-
ever tako drink OF whisky Y.
"Befo' answer flat, responded the
wary Brother Truly, II want to know
whether 1t is an inquiry or an Invita-
ton"
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
A Diamond h thn, nark.

1t Is said that some diamonds will
shine by their own light when placed
IN n dark room. Boys and girls who
are fortunate enough TO own one
might make the experiment by. expos
Ing 1t TO the sunlight for n minute or
two and then taking 1t into the dark.
Professor CroclSes of London says that
when diamonds are pInced in a vacuum
and exposed to current OF electricity
they shine with diiSerentcolored lights.
He has seen them emit bright blue,
pale blue, apricot, red, yeIlowish green,
pale green md orange rays. One BSaus
tiful~ green diamond In his possession
when phosphorescIng In good v1cu-
UNI gaee almost as much light as a
candle. 6 The light was pale green
Chicago News. h =. ,.31-s!-- ga
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
MACHINE IN orRnAyios.

.Journaled In the frame Is a shaft hav-
Ing n gear pieshlng. With the genr on
the rod supporting the brushes. Afo,
tlon is Imputed 10 the brushes by
means OF a crank handle. The differ
ent parts OF the machine are connect
cd SO that the turning OF tho handle
operates the brushes and also turns
the wheels on the frame. causIngl the
machine TO move gradually over the
floor. Where this scrubbing machine
is employed the operatoris snvcl from
unnecessary bending OF the back lii.
cident TO the ordinary method OF scrub
bling floors. s pS VIA
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
Can, subdue Headhun,ers

All efforts to subdue the head
hunters of Formosa by the Japa1
nese having been unsuccessful a
campaign of determination has been
entered upon, and now when com
pany Of hearhuters is located the
place Is surrounded by wire fence.
me wires are charged with electric
ity- The soldiers begin to- shoot !;
siie sayages stampede, and then the
deadly wires get those tina hebulles
miss. There are about 100000 OF
these headhunters infesting the east
ern coast of the island, and ali eff
forts to make them desirable citi-
2ens have failed. They recently
lured partyof 800 japanese ana
Chinese into an ambush and kined
them all but three. for the mere
pleasure of killing.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
PEOPLE or THE DAY
An expert on nankinu.

Congressman Charles N. Fowler,
cha'rman OF the mousse cominittee on
banking ana currency, advocates z
credit currency system as atremedy
Tor financial Ills. In the course OF n
recent speech he said;
"Thc right shoald ba given to nation.
s sanks 10 Issue m. amount Of credit
cE oncy equal ut least to their capital.
II now declare that IL this govern.
ment continues It's present policy OF, In
jcctlng Into the arteries OF trade and
commerce fixed, bond secured curten-
cy. by swapping eecuritiess by bond
speculptlons. by treasury mnripula-
tons ondhby executive manipulations,
We shall continue to move only with
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
eame Of Critical Revlon,

Each player is provided with a pen
ell and long piece OF paper. IIo must
be cautioned No use his paper careful
iy, ns much space is often required if
the players arc bright ana original. At
the head OF the paper tho players write
the title ofin book. y re must BIO original
and MS funny us possible 1t may also
have a subtitle, ms .yrhe Merry MdldB
of Athens; or. "A Trage,iy OF Ye olieft
Times" This Is then turned down and
passed on. The next Is. written'n quo.
tation, supposed TO at In sylthsthe title.
though. of,course. it,nerer does ,Tlion
this is turned and passed on. J, Next "a
the author of the book. generally the
name Of one OF the players; then n,
dedication. Itishould lie dedicated to
opc Of the players or to 4 well known
person. Last iaa'half serious. haifednic
criticism of the book. As ench player
has had a chance Mt eacli paper, tho
Disconnected Items nre very funny
when read aloud after tho, criticism Is
finished. Washington Star. VI, ~,
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
sordbbina Machine.

Afreal gnov city In the invention line
is the scrubblng. machine herewith
shown. Because Of itaAextrcmely sim,
pie construction the method of opera
tion Is obvious. Tho machine IL com.
posed OF nSwater tank mounted upon Ii
suitable wheeled frame. Leading from
tho water tanks issa- feed pipe, which
carries tho water toia pnlrsof circular
scruSbing brushes placed In advance
of the France A valve in the feed
pipe regulator the dow of wator.
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
Can You Do -Thio?1s

1t is little harder- than It sounds.
but IL you are determined to succeed
and don't mind buttlng the carpet a
few times it,can he, done The trick is
10 take n certain position and pick, up
a'pencil from the floor With ones teeth,
Kneel aud, placing thu right elbow
against the right knee. measure out to
the extended finger tips ana there pince
a pencil on the floor; then, clasping
the hands behind tile. back and still
lineeiing, bend carefully fopw9rd and
take up tho pencil with the mouth. &,
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
AnlnteIIIocne Don.

( A Connecticut lady lost her pocket
book, containing considerable sum
of money, and was naturally anxious
TO recover 1T She had been ehopping
and visiting during the day and had
also been working about the garden. 4
dlllgent inquiry and search failed to
Aud the Inlafing article. and finally she
gave up In despair and said TO Il neigh:
bor II think I'll send Edo to liunt
my pocketbook," Fido. a Scotch ter
rier' was standing by nnd, after a
quick glance Mt his mistress. ran out of
the house. lilo was noticed soon after
ward hunting and smelling around the
garden. a half hour passed, and then
Edo scratched MT the door. and when
1t was opened he walled In, bearing
the pocketbook In his mouth. He had
undoubtedly understood what his mis-
tress said
Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-01-05
sweden'a Nsw i<ina.

With thee death Of Oscar II, the sue
cesslonto the throne OF Sweden passed
to Oscar Gustaye Adolphe, eldest
son of the late king. Tho new king
took tho oath of nlIeginnce uhder tho
title OF Gustave v. mud adopted the
motto. with the People For the ZEE
therland." Gustaye much fesembloa
his father in gigantic stature and I'm
light, Saxon blond features, ~
he was born In the castle of Drott-
ningholni In 1858 and immediately aft
or his birth was made Duke OF Werni-