The Washington herald., 1908-02-16
Nv HrLEN ROWLAND.


again"
What have they done again2' demand
ed the Mere Man. glaneing up with
nervous start. brought on a panic. or
declared another war, or assassinated an
other President. or -?"
They've made another anti-divorce law,
Mr Porter" returned the Bachelor Girl
accUslngly. They've driven another nail
into the dead wall Of matrimony They've
put new paddock on the door and given
the key an extra twist. And it was al
ready worse than a charity fair.'
How could anything be worse be
gan the Mere Man.
IT'S cheaper and easier TO get into,
explained the Bachelor Girl. pulling her
hatplns from among the marabou feath-
ers and putting them. one by one, be-
tween her little white teeth. 'and more
expensive TO get out Of. IF they want to
abolish it altogether-"
but they don't" demonstrated the
Mere Man. ITS divorce they're trying
10 abolish"
How?" The Bachelor Girl spoke des-
perately through a mouthful of pins by
making it difficult and unattainable and
a rare privilege?'
NO by"
by putting a high price and pre-
MUM on it?''
Exactly. BY putting it out Of reach.
And dangling it there tantalizlngly, like
forbidden fruit or the Tantalus cup?'
sconed the Bachelor Girl If they really
want TO stop divorce, why don't they DO
that to matrlmony? Why don't they
charge as much for marriage license as
they do for-foT-"
a dog Hcenbs?" suggested the Mere
Man lacOnically.
Yes" agreed the Bachelor Girl ''or a
decree Of separation. Why don't they
make US go into court and prove that
we've a right to be married and swear
oaths and pay lawyers and tell our ages
and make affidavits as to our dispositions
and our pasts and our presents and our
futures and our good intentions and the
size Of our incomes and our collars and
the color of our characters and cur eyes, |
as they do when We want to be di-
vorced?"
Il don't know why" sighed the Mere
Man. and / don't know how any Of US
could rrove that we have a right 10 be
married-unless." he added, with a happy
inspiration we could bring refer
ences from our former wives and nus
bands or our old sweethearts. Or
THAT would be a good idea" broke in
the Bachelor Girl, approvingly, taking
rr- r,.+,,f,-- @--,., 1,-- ,,~,+r o,5 40 aybi,,cr
them into the crown of the marabou
creation in her hands. If we require
written character from a prospective
maid or valet. why not demand one from
a prospective Wife and husband? But il
wouldn't be enough, she added, wrink-
ling her brows thoushtfully above her
small noes.
And besides, added the Mere Man re-
fectively, ''we might not be able to get
them-tO. recommend US
No said the Bachelor Girl shaking
her head decisively and leaning her chin
in her hand every marriage should be q
case for trial"
"WeIi-isn't it?" inquired the Mere Man
promptly.
a suit mean"
"A Suit-caser' exclaimed the Mere Man
interestedly.
oh dear me-" sighed the Bachelor
Girl. IF you're going TO try 10 be fun
ny" and she waved her hands con-
temptously.
4 wasn't declared the Mere Man de-
fenslvely. Il was only trying 70 make it
come ont.
"Whate"
your dimple and-and your meaning
7 mean" exclaimed the Bachelor Girl
trying TO look naughty i'm spite of her
ncse, that two people who contemplate
domestic bliss should be arTaigned and
tried by law-f0r the offense. The man
should be made To take an oath as to his
income his habits"
And the ability Of his constitution TO
stand The strain interp0lated the Mere
Man derisiyely.
And what he intended to demand from
his wife"
And what allowance he expected TO
give her, and how long he could wear
pair Of socks without darning. and how
hard he was on buttons, and whether or
not he snOred-'
And instead OF swearing that he loved
her In a dus<y conservatory" continued
the Bachelor Girl. imperturbably, with
his conscience and no witnesses to hear
his statements. he ought to be forced to
swear it in broad daylight and the face
OF a cool-eyed Judge and jury, with his
hand on the Bible
And indicted for perjury if she ever
found out he's been lying rejoined the
Mere Man sarcastically.
"Of course" agreed the Bachelor Girl,
cheerfuly. THAT would make men lit
lie more careful about what they prom
ised and a little less careless about
breaking their promises But that isn't
an
Help help" cried the Mere Man. des-
perately.
He should get afldayits. continued
the Bachelor Girl. from his mother and
his aunts and the family servants as TO
his temper and his disposition and what
time he usually got to bed nights, and
whether or not he called for ice water IN
the morning. and how he treated his SIS
ters and-and--"
The family cat" suggested the Mere
Man, enthusiastically.
And bring in witnesses to testify that
he never had been in love before
''What?"
And bow many times; and why he had
or hadn't married them, and whose fault
it had been
And broke in the Mere Man, des-
perately, "the girl ought TO be made TO
swear to the truth about her age and to
bring written guarantee. from the doc
tor as TO the genuineness Of her complex
ion, and tailor's affidavit that her figure
was her own, and to exhibit samples of
her cooking and her brothers socks, and
10 testify on oath that she never had
been kissed before"
"What?"
And how many times" added the Mere
Man, maliCiously, "aud whether or not it