The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-08-01
FIGHT OF BALLOTS
IS WARMLY VVAGED

Id Whl!IWlI WHULU
And still the fight goes merrily ont
First 1t is Revelle, then Doyle. then
kanzler. who has the best OF 1t. 1T
reminds one of historical event, cele-
brated in a once-popular ragtime song.
in which Bill Johnson, a monkey and
a Dago figured largely.
The story of ragtime telling runneth
thus: Bill Johnson. a man OF the coll
ored contingent. while promenadfng
quietly along the Boulevard taking
morning constitutional. cast HIS globes,
optics. lights or lamps, commonly
known outside of the realm on rag
time slang as eyes or peppers, UPON Il
monkey. Being In an unusually chart
table franle of mind. and remembering
that the man who gives to the poor
lends to the Lord. and is bound to get
his money back. and also on account
of his fondness of Darwin and the OAR
winian theories concerning the descent
of man. he went up TO the monkey and
dropped what he took to be penny in
the headpiece. chapeau, crown or cap
in which His Monks commonly coll
lected coin of the realm in various
denominations.
Immediately our dusky friend. John
son, observed that he had made
grave error. mistake, blunder or bust
for what he had thought on careless,
undiscriminating. undefinitivc analysis
to be cent. penny. copper or Indian.
was in reality a gold coin OF the value
of five bucks. simo1eons. plunks OIL
iron men. known in common everyday
street parlance as v. Right here is
eotT
or rough house is said by nersons who
were among those present, to have
started.
Not Strong on Charity.
And 1t came about and happened
thus. that johnson. thinking this deed
of charity, this loan TO the Lord. to be
too large. undertook immediate collec-
ton of the loan and tried to convince
his simian ancestor that he, Johnson.
had made mistake: but the monkey.
not understanding this Indian gift,
would not return the coin, and here is
where he and Johnson Immediately
proceeded TO get busy. johnson was
on the job, and so was His Monks, and
they were soon in state OF genera
stir, excitement, miS-up. conglomera-
ton or coagulation. when, to make 1t
a bit more interesting, the Dago who
owned the monkey. not desiring to see
his property abused, badly used, mall
treated and dlsfigured, turned all OF
his energies loose upon Johnson. much
to the disgust, chagrin, modification
and disagreement OF the said Johnson.
Now this unequal combat was beini
waged with the vengeance of small
sized Texas cyclone, the noise of six
teen-inch Krupp gun and the fury OF,
a rip-roaring. roof-raising Western tor
nado, and johnson was beginning t,
get a bit groggy when Chtnamar
appeared upon the scene of action, anc
brought himself to bear on the com
batants, Just in time to allow Johnson
to disengage himself from. the mon
keys ardent embraces.
Then policeman hastily arrived and
mingled in the fray With gusto that
made the drawing of weapons newt
able. The Dago TAT this stage Of the
fight drew stiletto. Johnson rescued
from the depths of his pocket 4 razor,
which is commonly used by BARRIERS for
Kidding the human physiognomy of
hirsute adornments. and by the sons of
Ham for carving the anatomy of their
bitter enemies and as weapon of self
defense. The Chnaman unlimbered a
big forty-four and brought It to bear
on the melee; and the policeman went
to work with his club, and with the as
sstance of the patrol ran the whole
push in, The chorus of this ragtime
ditty describes the fight infinitely in
these heart-rending and pathetic
words: up and down. and all around,
in the air and on the ground. never
saw such carvings on before"
Much Like Voting Contest.
Now right here is where this con-
flict is like The Times-Dispatch bal
lot contest, Just as In this fight, first
one player, then another has the bet
ter Of 1t. 1t is impossible to pick the
winner, and all the time the fight is
being waged with energy and detarmi-
nation, gusto and ardor. willingness OF
tho spirit and strength of the flesh.
Like the song, 1t is "up and down, and
all around; something doing every
day and the winner Just as hard to
pick as ever: any day the policeman
and patrol may arrive on tho scene In
the shape of another player and his
balloting friends and run the whole
push In, to carry still further the
similarity OF the song. Who the po-
liceman will be is for the voters to
determine, and when the last ballot
is In, then he will get not the Y, but
the fifty bucks in gold,
baseball Ballot Editor:
Find lnclosed fourteen votes for Frank |
DoyIe, who IL the best second baseman In |
the Virginia League and the most popular i
player. II, u. d. /
Baseball Ballot Editor,
Please and inclosed twenty-elght votes
sss IS hsphs s' Sm
to win the prize, yours truly