davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11
Not Attracted.

Are you Nine. Bombazino. the beau
" specialist?' asked the fair caller.
Yes, ma'am." answered the elderly,
sQuare-jawed matron. What can l do
for your"
"Nothing!" said the caller, making
hasty exit.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

The pioneer American Democrat
was the Rev. Thomas Hooker Of Con
necticut who, IN . sermon in Hartford
in the year 1873. said, The fOunda-
ton Of sll authority Is firstly laid In
the free consent Of the people There.
in embryo, we're the Revolution and
the great republic. In the ~Funda-
mental Orders Of Connecticut inspired
by Hooker and adopted at Hartford in
1893, we have the first written consti-
tuition known to history that created
a government And that government
was as near a perfect democracy as
the world has ever seen.-New York
American
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

.Nfr. Addemup, what system OF book
Lsening have you found to be the most
satisfactory asked the tiresome cane. .s,
keeping a bank book answered the
busy man at the desk.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

HAI wish that you were poor SC
that YOU would be willing TO marry
me.
She-Evldently am far more gener'
Gus than you. wish you were rlcn
so that | might be willing to marry
Won
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

The curious fact is noted by Prof.
Landau Of Breslau that careful meas
urements of the intensity of grayitation
In different parts of the globe show this
to be greater ON islands than on CONT
nents
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

Customer lat dairy lunch counter)-
You have to pay out good deal of money
for the ginger you use, do you notl
roprietor-Ginger? Why, no; gin
gers cheap.
CustomeT-Then why don't you feed
some of it to your waitersl
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

4 government commission IS struggling
with the problem Of exterminating tbs
Nun butterfly. which has become a plague
n Rnhernin
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

"Speakin' Of these here State eharita-
be institutions" remarked Uncle Jerry
PEBBLES. Il reckon they amt Is black as
they're painted nor as white as thsy'rs
whitewashed"
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11
.hif,,nx the Responsibility.

Teacher-Mrs. Clubber, your little
Clarence frequently comes to school with
his face unwashed.
Mrs. Clubber-Why, good gracious,
Miss Lipsicum. what do you keep a school
ianitor for Chicago Tribune.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

Legal Adviser-YOu're like all the Slne :,
.uccessful pugilists. You make scso' Oh
money and then throw il away. n I
Chufy de Champ (yawninslmOo,,, :,
rscLon so. I'm educatin' me younses'
brudder to be a lawyer.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

Not a cent" replied the rich man
coidly; money is not good for the
poor"
We'll" responded the applicant.
Just pretend that you have a grudge
against me."-Phlladelphla Ledger.
A German biologist has calculated that
the human brain contains 100000. 900
nerve cells, 100000 of which die and
are succeeded by new ones every day. At
this rate we get an entirely new brain
every sixty days.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11
A ReaI Charity.

Tess-And what do you think? Mr.
Goodhart hadn't been alone with mt
for Eve minutes before he offered to
kiss me.
Jess-Yes, that's one thing about
Jack Goodhart; he's just as soft-heart-
ed and charitable as he can be.-Phil-
sdelphia Press.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

A terrible noise Of humping and
stamping came from Bob's room early
one morning
Bobby. Bobby called his mother.
from downstairs, what is going on
up there"
MY shoes" replied Bob.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

Mothers will find Mrs. winslow's Soothing
svrup the best remedy 20 Use ioE their children
during the teething period.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

IITc st. vitus' Dance and all Nervous Diseases
Nerve Restorer. Send for FREE t2trial bottle and
tresflse DR.. r. Kline, Id, 93l Arch St, Phila Pa
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

Every of Rheumatism has origin development
blood 1t disease which contracted like
blood and system before pain is felt and the changes the weather
physical Irregularities such spell indigestion,
ETC. merely the exciting causes producing the pains aud aches which
the by
of
muscle membrane and
aid irritating
poison pa
nent relief cannot be expected from nmen plasts
treatment Such relief
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

strength Then the inh
permanently OF
chronic
Special
be furnished free THE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, GA
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

New York has s7.ooo,ooo,ooo gallons
OF water stored away in its mountain
reservoir.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

WHEN writing TO advertisers please
w mention this paper
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

On the overthrow OF the monarchy
Of Louis Philippe a Sunday crowd Wis
tied the Jardin des Plantes and was
amazed TO ind the fine specimen OF the
Bengal tiger still bearing the label Of
lie Tigre Royal" Nothing would
serve the furious crowd but that at
once on the spot the authorities should
change the name to lie Tigre Nation
al" and they dId--London Academy.
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11
Pure Blood

is certain if you take Hoods sarsaparilIa.
This great medicine cures those eruptions.
pimples and boils that appear at all seasons:
cures scrofula sores, salt rheum or eczema.
adapts itself equally well to- and also cures dys.
pepsia and all stomach trcubles; cures rheu-
matism and catarrh; cures nervous troubles
debility and that tired feeling
aaysatab s-For those Who prefer medicine In tab
led tablets called Sarsatabs as we'll a. IN he i Mrs
liquid forn oalsaoo Hase laentcay the same much u
curative properuee s tne hqHn ior besides With
dose. convenience. down
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

Rheumatism and bring about a
complete cure, the uric acid and
other inianmatory matter must Re
expelled, and this cannot be done
with external treatment. S. S. S.
cures Rheumatism because it is a
perfect and entirely vegetable blood
purifier. 1t goes down into the
circulation. neutralizes the acids,
and dissolves the irritating depos-
its which are pressing on the sensi-
tive nerves and tissues and produc-
ing pain, enriches the weak. sour
blood, and removes every atom of
inpurity from the circulation. So
instead of being a weak. sour
stream, distributing uric acid to the
different parts Of the system, the
blood is strong and healthy and
therefore able to supply every mus
Gle, nerve, bone and tissue with NOT
nation and swelling subside, the
Rheumatism permanently cured. b
The Parma herald. (Parma, Idaho) 1903-1917, 1908-04-11

Il reckon In guilty, y'r honor" snuff
fed the leathery faced old vagabound who
had been run in for drunkenness and gen
eral worthlessness, but il amt my
fault"
Whose fault is tit" inquired the police
justice.
Its the fault o. ny brother-in-lav an
ny sister-in-laN. They won't let me live
with EN- any more. When a feller's in
laws goes back on i'm. y'r honor, hs
CANT help bein' outlgN."
six months in the <orkhouse :" reared
the police justice
The Delta independent., 1908-09-18

Born to w. A. Hills and wife of
Rogers mesa. girl last Friday. All
getting along nicely.
Yes Laro is packing his household
goods this week preparatory to moving
to Grand junction.
Mr.. Tamchill of Canon City cousin
of Miss Matte Mccartney came in last
week for short visit
]. R. Gordon and son were here the
first of the week looking after the work
of laying the pipe line.
Mrs. Oliver Jenkins of Burlington,
Iowa, is visiting her sister. Mrs. A. V.
Fagerstrom on Rogers mesa.
R. l.. Stanford and wife left Thurs
day for the east where they will make
an extended visit with home folks.
Edgar Williams and Roy Autrey left
Tuesday for the Soap creek country on
hunting and fishing trip.
Ed Connable came in Friday evening
from Missouri and is looking after his
extensive land and cattle interests here
for few days.
R. O. Wilmot left Monday morning
for Denver where he is delegate to
the State convention which will be held
next Saturday.
George H. Duke, Mr.. White of Pueb-
10 and George Duke Jr., left Wednes-
day for the Overland reservoir and ex-
pect to return this evening.
George Gunther returned last Tues
day evening from his visit to Denver
and Creede. George is looking much
better after taking this rest.
Mr.. and Mrs. ]. L. Lardner of Terre-
haute, Ind, arrived Wednesday evening
for visit with DIR. Burkhard and wife
Mrs. Lardner is sister of the doctor.
Crawford Chronicle.
Mr.. and Mrs. A. L. Binford of Pa
onia came in to pay DR.. Yacoub visit
Wednesday of this week.
DR.. Wells of Grand Junction, a friend
of DR.. Yacoubi of this place came in to
renew old acquaintance.
Guy Clark left here Wednesday
morning for Colorado Springs where he
will attend college at that place
Mr.. A X. Stephens, of 1unnison,
came in from that place on business
last Saturday night returning Tuesday
of this week.
Vim Mathews and family came
through Crawford on their way to Pa
onia. They had been out on Fruitland
mesa and were very much surprised to
see the immense amount of grain on
that mesa. Mr.. Mathews predicts a
great future for the Fruitland mesa.
The engine belonging to VIM. Fluke
went through the bridge on the G. w.
Goodwin ranch this week. the engine
turning clear over. The Gould engine
was brought into use and after getting
everything ready, pulled the other out.
AS luck would have it very little damage
was done and Mr.. Fluke will start out
thrashing at once.
c. Van De Berg. a nephew of John
Sipma, Emil Zorr, and Ed Sandbergen,
of Hosper, Iowa, are here looking over
the country and we will not be surprised
to see them locate here in the near
future. Mr.. Sipma the real estate
agent of this place is showing them
over the country.
The Delta independent., 1908-09-18
Fine Fruit Ranch Cheap.

33 A.-6 miles from Delta and near
Cory in the Surface Creek valley-near
depot. canning factory, schools s-l2
grades; solid orchards for miles; d
mile from P. o. All joining places
$4O0. per acre and up. Owner must
sell at once. There are $50 bearing AL
bertas, 300 bearing winter apples, 100
bearing pears, plums, prunes, etc. a A
in young orchard, "A in hay, 3-A
plowed land, 300 Dbl. cistern, A No.
One water right, small house. grapes,
roses, etc. Splendid location. Price
$4, 10000. Good terms. Write
f. S. CoRBIN, Delta Colo.
SURFACE CREEK REALTY Co., Delta,
Colo. If
Arizona republican., 1908-01-21

ried women VII be admitted to the examination, but are eligible for ap pointment only as clerk. Applicants must be physically sound, and mile applicants must be not less than feet 1 inches in height without boots or shoes, and weigh not less than 125 pounds without overcoat or hat. For application blanks and for full infOr nation relative to the examination qualifications. duties. salaries. vacan- cies. promotions. etc. address imnfe- diately, Raymond Satterwhite. secre- tary board of civil service examiners. Capitol Building. Phoenix Arizona.
 The large oil painting "The Lovers" is -ow at the Anhouser. Go sec it.
 Public sterOgrapher at Hotel Adams. All kinds of typewriting. copying etc, done neatly and quickly.
Arizona republican., 1908-01-21

last September and some 100 miles have been covered since then, the route travelled being via Roosevelt Globe, across the San Carlos reserva- tion and back as far as Kelvin. Capt Dudley has now been relieved by First Lieutenant G. A. Wieser of the Fif- teenth infantry Capt. Dudley says he has enjoyed this field work very much and has had many pleasapt desert eN- .periences. much more pleasant IL may be said, than tramping through the swamps of the Philippines. which he had previously done. For the last three months his sister Mrs. C. H. Anderson of Oakland. has been with him and she has enjoyed the novelty of riding 5l9 miles on horseback dur ing that time.
 EVEN THE COWS KNOW.-It is natural for all animal kind to seek their own level in society wherever they go. whether the animal be human or otherwise. There is something about culture and breeding that holds the animal up to his own level The other day Jersey COW either found herself out or job pr jumped the one she had. and began straying around the valley. She naturally drifted right by the ShprthOrn. Holstein, Hereford and all other sorts Of COW Societ.- and pulled up at the ranch of Elliott Ev ans which she recognized as headquar- ters for real Jersey aristocracy. She Is there yet. and the owner can have her on identification.
 NEW CHURCH FOR BUCKEYE The Buckeye people have outgrown the schoolh'uSe. rehgiouslv. and are now engaged iu building a handsome house of worship that will cost some five or six thousand dollars That is a pretty good church building for a country settlement. miles from the railroad in wild and Woolly Arizona. Yesterday Mont Anderson Of the Buckeye Lum- Der Company began unloading at Al hambra. the first carload of the lum- Der for the new church. which was consigned direct to the church people Mir. Anderson says another carload will be received very soon.
Arizona republican., 1908-01-21
jAPAlA A(

IS A FINE THING TO FREsHEN UP THE FURNITURE AND MAKE IT LOOK NEW. YOU CAN BUY JAPALAC AS CHEAP AT DAVID SONS CASH STORE AS IT IS SOLD IN THE EAST.
 OUR MIXED HOUSE PAINTS ARE SURE TO PLEASE YOU.
 PAINT BRUSHES FROM 1oo TO s2.5O.
 WINDOW GLASS FROM toc TO s3.oo.
 WE SELL LINsEED OIL, TUR- PENTINE AND PUTTY, AT DAVID SONS.
 BARRWIRE, HARDWARE, roots, TENTS, CAMPING OUTFITS, GUNS, CUTLERY AND THOUSANDS OF USEFUL ARTICLES AT
Arizona republican., 1908-01-21
ARBoR oAY.-Friday. February :


 will be Arbor Day in this and the southern counties and it is hoped that thousands of Arizsnians will plant trees in recognition Of the event. It is of course perfectly legitimate to plant a tree any old time. but people should feel Il a sort of duty. to set out few on ArbOr Day whether they want to or not. Beside doing their duty in recognizing the day, it will be favor to coming generations and in- cidentally start a little boom for the nurscryman. Everybody is entitled to his turn during the year. and Feb. belongs to the tree man.
 CIVIL SERVICE ExAMiNATlON.- An examination for clerk and carrier will be held al the postoffice IB this city on Feb. r, 1908 Age limits, IS to 45 wears. on the date or the exam inati"u. Married women will rot be to the examination. Unmar-
Arizona republican., 1908-01-21
TO ATTEND BUSINESS COLLEGE

Miss Jessie Burnett of Prescott has entered Lamsons Business College and will remain in the city for several months pursuing a course.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
The farmers Vito

L very careful about her churn. She
scalds 1t thoroughly after using, and gives
It sun bath 70 sweeten it. She knows
that II her churn Is sour IL will faint the
butter that 10 made in Il. The stomach 70
. churn. In the stomach and digestive
and nutritive tracts are performed pro-
eesses which are almost exactly like the
then that II this stomach-churn % foul u
makes foul all which IL put into it,
The evil Of foul stomach 10 not alone
the bad taste In the mouth and the foul
breath caused by 1t, but the corruption Of
the pure current Of blood and the dissem.
ination OF disease throughout the body.
DR.. Pierce's Golden Medical Discovery
makes the sour and foul stomach sweet
1t does for the stomach what the washing
and sun bath do for the churn-absolutely
removes every tainting or corrupting Gle
ment. In this way IL cures blotchea,
pimples, eruptions, scrofulous swellings,
sores, or open eating ulcers and ali
humors or diseases arising from bad blood.
II you have bitter, nasty, foul taste in
your mouth, coated tongue, foul breath,
are weak and easily tired, feel depressed
and respondent, have frequent headaches,
dizzy attacks, gnawing or distress in stom-
ach, constipated or irregular bowels, sour
or bitter risings after eating and poor
appetite, these symptoms, or any consider
able number Of them, indicate that you are
suffering. from biliousness, torpid or lazy
liver with the usual accompanying indf-
gestion, or dyspepsia and their attendant
arrangements.
The he;5 AGENTS known 2 medical let
ence Iot 19e cure " the eboye sYWPtQpl
9pQ eQpdltlons, 2s attesfed bY t6eXflfl19l
Of leading 1e3c6ets, and prnctlt lopeI56Y
81 the seYerat sSbQ0ls Of medical practlce
have been skllltplly> and hAlmQpioualI
QlacoYeEY.. That this IL absolutely true
will be readily proven to your satisfaction
R-you will but mail q postal card request
to Df: b. v. Pierce, Buffalo, N. Y, for .
free copy Of his booklet OF extracts from
the standard medical authorities, giving
the names Of all the ingredients entering
into his world-famed medicines and show.
ing what the most eminent medical men
Of The age say Of them
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
Places Himself.

Mr. Bryan in his Comm oner- says
that 'It you will show me the name
Of the contributors to q candidates.
campaign fund, ! can easily tell the
real character of that candidate"
The Denver News, IN ardent Bry-
an supporter, has published the
names Of the contributors to Mr..
Brysn's former campaign, and We
see the following: Tramway Co.,
d. H. Mofiat, W. 8. Ohessman, Dem
mis- Sullivan, Dennis Sheedy, O. ].
Hughes, Jr., Ebsn Smith, Sim on
Gugkenheim.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
QUA rARMeRs' GREAT LUCK
Their Prosperity and Great Inooms
Keep Ceuntsv's Business 0otng.


Keep Csuntvv's Business OotnG.
In an analysis of the business and
financial situation in the United
States, prepared for the British gov
eminent, Seymour Bell, British com
mercisl agent in the United States,
strikes at the mcst whom he says that
"a country that produces crops valu-
cd st nearly $500, 900, 900 is unlike
ly to suffer long from industrial
stsgnation." This represents, Mr..
Bell logically believes, too large a
sum to be held long uninvested.
Farmers have had nine years of al
most uninterrupted prosperity, and
those who few yesrs ago owed
money now own it for investment.
They will invest il. As this great
amount of money finds its way into
circulation the impetus will not be
lost, and the progress of the rehabil-
tation of business, already noted, will
continue with an accelerated speed.
There will be disturbance in business
for some time to come, but these are
the late symptoms, not the forwarn-
ings of trouble to come. They are
the slight setbscks Of business con.
valescencs. The only danger points
to be avoided or feared are untimely
labor troubles and interference with
normal prices by monopolies Of capt.
tsl.-Boston Advertiser.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24

Taft won't beat Bryan quite - bad
y Roosevelt beat Parker, but he will
beat him worse than any other oandi-
date ever beat nominee Of one Of
the leading parties.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
Semi-annual Statement.
OF the Receipts and Expenditures Of ProEers
County, Colorado, for the Half Year
Ending Dec. 81, 1907
Office Of the
Board of County Commissioners
Lamar, Colo, Feb 18th, 1905

Honorable County Of prowsrs County
Colorado
Gentlemen have the honor submit for examination the
eighth the receipts and expenditures Of
Colorado together with showing the oond
Of County State School Dics etc.
for the period ending Dec 3lst 1907 t--+-te
Respectfully Submitted,
CHAS. F. HOAG, County Clerk.
The Lamar register., 1908-06-24
Semi-Annual Statement
State Funds

1907
July l To balance. -. ....$ 4618 40
To del tax 1907. 49,. 266 IA
To del tax 1904.. -. 116 SO
To del tax 1905.... 80. 1872 81
To del tax 1906... -. 5552 Fl
To add asst 1901. :. 75
To add asst 1903. -. "a
To State Treas warrant I'LL So
To trans from H. 8. No.
2 to No. IA Gen.. :. 600 90
70 Gen: =. -: 49,: 200 90
+, to Gen.. -; ~ 800 90
to Gem. 80. ...... 172 80
Dec IL To Dist Funds ovdrw.. 1888 rs
s13se2 80
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1908-09-24
Guarantee of Deposit,

During the acute stages Of the late
financial squeeze, the wise ones told
us that the trouble came from th,
hOsi ding Of money by the people,
Granted. They told ne that the peo'
pie drew their money from the banks
because of fear that they would not
or might not get it when they should
want it. Granted. Now, the demo-
cratic party, guaranty plan removes
that fear and at all times makes it i'm.
possible for q depositor either to lose
his money or to be compslled to suffer
any inconvsniences from the closing
Of bank. A bank failed in 0klsho-
ma and the next day. the state bank
ing commissioner stood ready to give
every depositor his money. The state
lost nothing because tha guaranty tax
was ample to reimburse the dspositors.
When the Knickerbocker Trust Com
pany failed, there we're hundreds Of
depositors who needed their money in
their businesses aud to pay living sE-
penses. After many long. weary
months of waiting, they got it; but
the anxiety, inconveniencs and losses
had to be endured. All this money
was, for mouths, withdrawn from bust
nes1, Many men were bankrupted
because they did not know whether
their deposit was an asset or mem
ory. The democratic plan would have
avsrted the anxiety and suffering, and
put the money into use again at once.
But if the plan had been working
there would have been no failure. II
every dspositor had felt secure, there
would have been no run on the bank.
In need, with absolute security TO de-
positors, hidden funds would have
been at work. aud none Of the banks
would have been forced to call for
cash or enforce collections. The man
who argues against protecting the dc.
positor has uphill work and the
guaranty plan admittedly does the
work. There is as much money in
the country as there ever was If it
were in the banks, the people could
do business Bryan proposes to get
the people to put it in the banks, not
with a stick, but by making the banks
as safe ss the government. Why not !
All who do not want the depositors TO
be secure should vote for Taft. II
you want bank deposits safe and
thereby a quick revival Of business,
vote for Bryan.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1908-09-24

Mrs. Silas Bennett was a pbiloso.
her. On a certain dismal occasion
some of the neighboring women were
condoling with her. With commend.
able cheerfulness, says q writer in the
New York Times, she replied:
I've raised four girls and three boys,
s1psctin' every time they'd be twins
and rsd.hssded like their Grandpa
Bennett, an yet they amt.
An I've worried consid'bls over
smallpox brsakin' out in M big fam.
lily. So fer faint.
Last summer, durin' July an An
gust, an mebbs part Of September,
was real melIncholic, fsarin' I'd gOt
an appendix; but guess I amt.
Al through it all, it never oncI
occurred to me that I'd be the oos to
fall through them rotten old msetin'.
house steps an break ny leg in ts'
places, bat be.
Shepherdstown register. [volume] (Shepherdstown, Va. [W. Va.]) 1849-1955, 1908-09-24
The Presidents Revelation.

While President Roosevelt wac hold.
ing an open air reception at Syracuse
q tall negro pushed through the crowd
and eagerly grasped his hand.
"Yo' n me war bon on the same
day, Mistsh Roosevelt r. the darky
enthusiastically said, hi, shining black
face almost cleft from ear 10 ear by 9
grin.
Delighted, indeed, to hear it,
warmly responded the President. tax.
ing frs.h grip on the black hand
aud laugh: heartily. "sO you and
l we're born on the same dayf Well
we'll"
"Yo' an fo'ty-seven ysahs old,
sub 2"
II am was the qnick answer.
IAN Yo' war BON on octobsh II,
1885,"
"Yes."
"Ya-ss, sub" then exclaimed the
dsrky. shaking all over with rapture,
"ys-as sub, Mr.. RoOssvelt,-yO an
me is bofe twins.