The Columbus journal. (Columbus, Neb.) 1874-1911, 1908-09-16

most pOntely lNlOrmcO ludt Tie IudtlCi
is one for the health department, and
he can be escorted personally to that
department or a note given him for
use there, and he can be very fairly
commended for his public spirit, and
sent away feeling that the matter will
be looked after and that he has re-
ceived fair treatment Isn't that bet
ter than saying: "Ah. G'wan, you lob
ster, don't you know enough to 60 to
the health department with that?"
AS for the men and women who are
actually crazy, nothing but diplomacy
with them. l remember one day while
I was particularly busy with some
thing which had been intrusted to me
by my chief, and was carefully map
ping out my action with pen and ink,
that l was suddenly surprised by the
apparition of a richly-dressed woman
who sat down in a chair close beside
me and began hurriedly: Il must see
the mayor at once: Rockefeller and
Carnegie are in a conspiracy to rob me
of $4O,O0O,OOO worth of stocks and
bonds. The delay of a single hour will
ruin me-"
ALAS, poor soul possessed" There
was nothing to do but to acquiesce In
her distorted dream and take her kind
ly and pityingly to the Office OF the
chief of police and place her In GUS
tody until it was ascertained who her
people were.
There were always a number OF
women callers, and to their credit it
can be said that they were the most
persistent and ingenious OF visitors.
OF course. it was necessary to defer
to them with the utmost care. unless
they were entirely crazy. Sometimes
the outside room, huge affair. would
be crowded to the doors by a swarm
of delegations and by a horde of in
dividuals who were bound to get In
side. To handle a crowd like that
and to get order out of confusion was
no small job for the Office force, con-
sisting of myself, the police officer at
the door, the stenographer and the
bridewell clerk. The bridewell clerk.
by the way, had about seven different
positions to fill. and he filled them
we'll The officer, during my time. was
a man of strength and discretion. The
stenographer, however. civil service
appointee, sent in to fill the place of
the regular stenOgrapher who was ap-
pointed a justice of the peace, was not
star" at handling a crowd. II you
ever get into politics you will find out
what civil service" sometimes means.
Day in and day out the politicians
came in. Many of them alderman.
coming In to consult on prospective
ordinances, or on city business of va
riCus kinds. Some Of them eX-alder-
men, some members of the legislature.
From IL until l each day, excepting
Monday and Saturday, the doors were
open to the public, and never such a
motley thrcng poured in as did then.
Children who wanted to get dogs out
Of the pound: women who were seek
ing to have husbands or relatives par
doned from the bridewell; men after
jobs: aldermen after special privi-
leges or in on city matters: all sorts
and conditions of people, by singles,
by twOs, threes, delegations, mobs.
they churned in and out of the Office
and the air was thick with the scent
of tobacco and the varying dialects
and patois OF the different nationali-
ties.
Before this hour the newspaper
men had their innings" An hour,
usually from 10 to II, was given them.
/ believe got along fairly we'll with
the newspaper boys. never gave out
any news to any Of them which they
had not previously been informed of,
and certainly played no favOrites."
They were there TO get the news, and
if possible get scoops" for their vari-
Gus papers. All they cared for was
to get an "even start" and never by
any hint nor inference in:erfered with
their getting away" together. And
not once during my time did any news
paper man ask me to give him any adj
vantage over any others of the clan.
although a scoop over the rest al
ways filled their souls with Joy.
1t was not absent by reason of sick
ness during my term as secretary, and
looking back at the job, with unim-
passioned eyes, | believe l made a
good secretary. The only real break"
l can think of, was once when l was
told to keep all inquirers away from
the chiefs residence while he was get
ting out his annual message to the
city council. A man from the east
called and presented a card as. enc
of the supreme judges of an eastern
state. He backed this up by docu-
ments proving his claim. He wanted
to see the mayor on a matter SO i'm
portant that it could not possibly wait.
For once | weakened. The bridewell
clerk was going up to the house and
l sent this caller along. He was
dressed like a duke. He was a most
imposing looking specimen CT man.
and his manners had Lord Chesterfield
going least by south" And when he
reached the house if he wasn't book
agent. then l hope to perish. And at
that. he was all he claimed to be! And
if that wouldn't send man hiking to
the nut and bolt factory" then don't
know what would! When l introduced
the next secretary of the mayor who
followed my chief into Office to the
heads of the various departments in
the city hall they all had good word
for the way in which l had handled
the job. AS the bunk under such
circumstances would have been a
waste of raw material, l am under the
immersion that without setting the