The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-17

Of Il must now 80 and dress 10
the occasion"
When Mr.. Bowser was finally read,
70 depart for Locust hall Mrs. Bowse
rearranged his nccktie bit and pulle,
down his coattails and said:
Mr.. Bowser, | have got $l.1b tina
have saved up
"Well, what Of itT'
.I'll-rll give you the whole OF II /
YOU won't make speech"
by the seven spotted bulls, Mrs
Bowser, but do find graft and brlb
cry right here In my own housef How
dare you make me such an offer2 Yoy
try to bribe me not TO make speech
TO let the country so to the dogs. Il
permit the hydra head of corruption tc
be reared In every hamlet OF America" I"
"But l don't want you to make 4
failure. you know"
"A failure. make a failure! Why,
woman. have you suddenly lost the
little brains you ever had9 Failure,
shall come home borne on the shoul.
ders Of shouting, cheering Bowserites,
and you had best sena over for a hun
dred candles to Illuminate the house.
A dollar and seventy-tive cents as n
hrihe!'
Mr.. Bowser reached Locust hall to
find 1t lighted but the expected thou.
sands had not gathered yet In fact
only the janitor was present. and
there was no look of anticipation on
his face. In fact, there was a look of
disappointment Instead. and after Il
couple of minutes he approached Mr.
Bowser and Queried:
SAY, now, can't you put this thing.
amagig Off for the night?"
What do you mean. slr?" was asked
why. let it go until some other
time. | want to so to a scrapping
match tonight, but If you are going to
make speech I've got to stay here"
Capital Depressing Labor.
Mr.. Bowser occupied five minutes II
telling his side Of the story, ana whr,
he rot through the ianitor felt that |,
had been talked to in three differca
languages. He went away ana sl
lown, but he said II was another III
stance of capital depressing labor N;
lis union should hear of it. Ten ".
ties later reporter arrived n, !
ooked around the hall and then Il;
'ir. Bowser and said:
Going to be fizzle. isn't itT'
"Umw
Who is this Bowser anyway
"Um!''
He's probably some old fake, and
II not stay to hear him bleat."
Five minutes passed, and then a lop
disreputable looking fellow
ounged in and impudently queried;
Say, old hoss. is there to be a fan.
Iango here tonightT'
What do you mean, sirT demand.
4 Mr.. Bowser
"0h, an old speech or something b.
or otherT'
Yes, sir; there is to be a speech
ere"
And where's the beerT
There won't be any"
"Oh, sawdust speech. Ell? Well
m of. Let the old blowhard blow
Then a second reporter entered anA
)ok look around. The janltor WINK 4,
l at him. and he returned the vim
nd sat down and looked solemn r.
We minutes. Then he approached ". r
owser and respectfully asked: q
Can you tell me the name of the
lrty that is or was to crate here this
His name is Bowser, believe"
We'll, his wife seems TO have k2. I
i'm at home and done good thlaS
Il just say that the meeting was
and fizZle."
There was one more caller. He wa
man that had attended a dance ii t
le same hall week before and lo3.
quarter out of hole in his pocket '
e had come back to look for ii. Aft
casting aspersions on the character {
the janitor and telling Mr. Bowse 2
lat he ought to be in the bosom OF =
s family the meeting broke up.
Mr.. BoWser arose.
The janitor arose.
Mr.. Bowser went downstairs. c
The janitor turned out the gas and
llOwed r
Mr.. Bowser went home, not borne
/ the shoulders of shouting, cheering :.
en-.
The janitor went to the scrappin.
atch.
And the kind and gentle Mrs. Bow
r never said a word-not a word. r