davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1908-03-12

state Normal school at Weatherford
Saturday is here visiting Or and Mrs.
r.. N Smith. Miss Christy a W n
known ia society IN the capital city
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1908-03-12

g. O. Bum IS here from Ardmcre
today
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1908-03-12

J. ". Perkins 10 here from okIaho-
ma CITY
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1908-03-12

Banker W orr Of Vinlla IS N tue
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Find tho AnsMer.

A certain young man took his best
girl to the theater, During the evening
she complained Of not feeling well. and
they left before the show was over
He took her home. and when he said
good night the girl was pretty sick
Next day II turned out that she had
diphtheria. Then the young man began
to wonder II he was booked for a siege
with the disease too. He called on q
physician he knew to ask about 1t.
The physician heard the young mans
tale. "Well," said he at the conclusion
OF II. 81 think your chances to catch
the disease depend on how you said
good night to the young lady"
The young man was quiet a moment
Then he said Doctor, I'm much oblig.
ed, II that's the case, I'm not In dan.
ger"
The young man went out. A minute
later he stuck his head In the door
"Say. doc" he said, "diphtheria don't
90 very hard with strong, healthy
young men, does h"-Denver Post.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
oualltis, Of II, oYster.

A San Franciscan has discovered n
new method OF cutting short recitals
that promise 10 become too long wind
Nd An acquaintance OF his who has
q local reputation as bore was one
day holding forth at some length when
the Californian interrupted him with;
by the way, did ever tell you the
story Of the oysterT'
On receiving a negative reply he con
tinued:
ut seems that when oysters are TAX
Ell from the sea they often open their
shells 20 that the Juice or liquid runs
out. As this Ia undesirable. the expert
enced oyster gatherer has a tub Of wa
ter close at hand into which tie oyster
is plunged as soon as 1t begins to open
its she'll"
"Well, and what thenr asked the
other as the narrator paused.
The San Franciscan smiled.
ooh. after awhile the oyster learns
to keep It's mouth shut" he remarked
quietly Exchange.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Tn. Il.Inn Of m. cr,uat.


"You have often heard the question,
Where mans treasure Is, there will
his heart he ALSO said city detec'
tive. II saw an illustration OF that not
long ago on railroad train, A de-
tective employed 10y the railway com
pany and were seated near country
man who adjusted his neckue even
few minutes.
"'That lie bothers the old man. !
said to my companion.
Don't think It's the tie, replied the
railroad detective.
Then he leaned forward and said to
the farmer, Better take your money
out Of that necktie'
"'Who told you had money in my
tier demanded the farmer.
THE detective then explained that
his actions In adjusting his neckwear
led TO the supposition. The farmer ad'
mlttOd that he had chosen the tie as
the hiding place for number Of bills,
"His idea was all right concluded
the detective, but be couldn't keep his
hands of the cravat' "-Kansas City
Star.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Rareat Of Tradoa.

mine Is the rarest Of all trades"
said an Englshman. 81 am maker
Of instruments Of torture. | suppose
that at this moment in Siam and China
yellow men are bleeding and bowling
in the clutch OF machines Of my make"
He lighted his pipe, pleasant
thought, eh? But we must make our
living somehow. In Birmingham mines
made. There for seventeen years 1
have been turning out racks, hair and
nail drawers, thumbscrews, SINNERS,
needle beds. soaring irons, bone break
ers and what not.
"Siam and China have bought their
Instruments of torture from Blrming-
ham for generations. Some Of these
contrivances are very costly and IN.
genious. There's water dropper
which works by clockwork that costs
$500. There's "a But that's too terri
BILE to talk about The Chinese instru.
ments, by the way. are a million times
crueler than the Siamese."-New York
Press
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
A Standind Rule.

Jones had Just run over to see II
Mr.. and Mrs, Blank would go to the
theater with them. Mrs. Blank was
awfully sorry-she would so much like
to go-but unfortunately Blank was
ont. Probably he was at the club
She would telephone. The following
conversation ensued:
'213A Gerard, please. Hello! 1;
this the club? Is my husband
there? Hello! Not there? Sure.
Well, all right then. But hold on. How
do you know? haven't even told you
my name"
There amt nobody's husband here
never" was the wise attendants re
ply.-London Taller.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Samson and Louis XVI.

Three letters written by Samson, the
eXecutioner Of the terror" are printed
in the Paris Gaulois. One OF the most
interesting of them Is short enough to
be quoted in full:
"Cltizsn-I have Just learnt that the
rumour is current that am selling or
causing to be sold locks of the hair Of
Louis Capet. II any have In fact been
sold, this abominable trade can only
have been carried on by impostors. The
truth IS that have not allowed any
one In my house TO carry away even
the smallest relic"
Samson. 1t appears, had In his privat"
capacity much sympathy with the
king whose head It was his duty In his
professional capacity to cut or. II
another letter he attributes the courage
with which he met his death to the
hrmness Of his religious principles,
and when he bimself died In 1906 he
bequeathed money to pay for masses
for his victims soul.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23

A voluble negro who was discovered
pacing fast heat across the Tenth
street viaduct the other night explain
ed his haste TO the policeman VINO ar
rested him.
He explained that he had been 10 a
swell dance and had paid the sum Of
$3.50 for the rent OF the startllngly
correct attire IN which he was clad,
During the progress OF the dance a
short yellow man had repeatedly bump
ed against him In most offensive
manner He related the story with
dignity and JUNCTION.
"Thish ycre yellow Niger, he KEEP
a-bumpin' inter me till SEES 10 HIN, !
fls. I'll see you after this dance out
side ses TO him.
"He ses, Very well, sub; III see you
after this dance
II didn't like the looks OF him no.
how, and when We gifts outside he
pulls big razzer, and he SEES, IN cave
YOU he ses, jes that er-way,
81 thinks Of that suit | pays $3.50
fer and gethers up all the rabbit they
Is In me, and | starts to runnin', and !
runs fast runs like jack rabbit
ontel gifts to the vi'duc', and a big
police he hollers to me:
Hey, there he boilers. 'whar
you.all gwine so fas'T
"'Is Jls' a-runnln' TO ketch a cyar,'
] boilers back. But he grabs me. and
he ses:
"'Ketch a car. Niger! Why. youse
passed four cars areadyw-0maha
World Herald.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Art and Hsppinsss.

Artists are not as class the happi'
est OF mortals, but that is because they
fail to relate the ideal nationally to
life rather than because they are VOW
ed to standards OF perfection. Unhap-
plness comes upon them as II would
upon any one else--in consequence of
folly and indifference and willfulness--
and their devotion TO art, which is Of
ten held to be the cause Of their mis-
fortunes, is in reality the only mltigat-
ing factor In their lives.--Pliss Carman
In Craftsman.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
The Word "Fudss."

The expression "Fudgew which is
heard so often nowadays, is not new
one. On the contrary. Its origin dates
back to the reign Of Charles H., when
there was a sea captain who was
named Fudge.
No matter how unsatisfactory his
voyage, this nautical man always re.
turned with an endless string Of pre-
posterous tales Of great deeds and sue.
cess, His propensity for classifying be-
came so we'll known that whenever
any one was heard telling question
able exploit, II became the custom to
cry. "oh, you Fudge itP'-Pittsburg
Post.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
What the NoisA Did.

or the noise Of London streets caused
by the hackney coach Taylor, the old
water poet, wrote: at makes such a
hideous rumbling in the streets by
many churches doors that peoples
ears are stopped with the noise, where
by they are debarred Of their edifying
which makes faith so frultless, good
works so barren and charity as cold
at midsummer as IL 1t were a great
frost By this means souls are robbed
and starved OF their heavenly mama"
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Like Calling For a Drink.

A hard drinker was told by his doc.
tor that he could be cured II every time
he felt that he must have drink he
would Immediately take something to
eat instead. The man followed the
advice and was cured, but the habit Of
asking for food had become so fixed
with him that once he was nearly
locked up as a lunatic. He was stop
ping at hotel. and, hearing great
commotion In the room next to his. he
peeped over the trsnsom to see what
the matter was. He saw aud rushed
madly down TO the office and shouted
to the clerk: THE man in 1853 has shot
himself! Ham and egg sandwich,
pleaser'
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
The pnunr Of Adv.rti,inn.

The power OF advertising Is told ny
a manager Of the toilet department Of
large New York department store.
I'VE have six different makes of one
toilet article" he said, "and they are
so near alike In quality that even eX-
perts can't tell the difference between
them. yet we sell as much OF one as
we do Of all the others together, Just
because the manufacturer is everlast-
ingly advertising 1t. The other FIVE
sell in proportion to the amount Of adj
vertising given to them. II there Is
any difference in quality II is in favor
Of the poorest seller"-New York Her
aid.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Lnnn Hair ~ Marx Of Honor.

In olden times excessively long hair
was considered a mark OF honor and
rank. For many centuries long hair
was in France the distinctive mark Of
kings. The ancient Persians and Par
thians OF high caste wore long, flowing
hair, while the poorer classes were
obliged TO cut theirs short. Homer
speaks OF the long haired Greeks by
way Of distinction.
The Gauls considered long hair a
mark of honor, but Caesar obliged
them TO cut It or in token Of submis.
sion. Long hair was thought by the
Franks to denote high birth, and the
Goths looked upon 1t as distinctive
mark OF culture and honor. Short hair
was considered by nearly all the old
nations to denote thraldom, and even
now criminals have their heads shaved.
Denver Times.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
IF SNOW NEVER FELL.
Tho Effect Upon tho Worlds Crops
Wead 30 Disastrous.

Tho Effect Upon tho Worlds cropS
Wead 30 Disastrous.
II all the condensed moisture Of the
atmosphere were to fall as rain and
none of 1t was snow hundreds Of thou
sands of square miles Of the earth's
surface now yielding bountiful crops
would he little better than a desert.
The tremendous economic gain for the
world at large which results from the
difference between snow and rain Is
seldom realized by the inhabitants OF
fertile and well watered lowlands.
II Ia in the extensive regions where
irrigation is a prime necessity in ag-
rlculture that the special uses OF snow
come chiefly into view. All through
the winter the snow Is falling upon the
mountains and packing itself firmly In
the ravineS. Thus in natures great
icehouse a supply Of moisture Is stored
up for the following summer.
All through the warm months the
hardened snow banks are melting
gradually. In trickling streams they
steadily feed the rivers which AZ they
flow through the valleys are utilized
for irrigation. If this moisture fell 40
rain It would almost Immediately wash
down through the rivers, which would
hardly be fed at all in the summer
when the crops most needed water.
These facts are so well known as to
be commonplace In the Salt Lake val
ley and in the subarid regions Of the
west generally. They are not 80 we'll
understood in New Jersey or Ohio.
where snow Ia sometimes a pictur-
esque, sometimes a disagreeable, feS-
ture of winter.
In all parts of the country the notion
prevails that the snow is Of great value
as fertilizer. Scientists, however, are
Inclined to attach less importance to
its service In soil nutrition-for some
regions that have no snow are exceed
ingly fertile-than 10 its worth as a
blanket during the months OF high
winds. 1t prevents the blowing off OF
the finely pulverized richness Of the
top soil. This, although little per-
celved, would often be a great loss
Chicago Tribune.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23

Sir Douglas Straight told an anus
ing story at the dinner OF the Journey
men Halrdressers' Trade society. He
remembered, when young barrister
going into barber shop to be shaved
He was little startled to see the wo
man behind the counter staring at hin
from time to time through the glass
door When he got outside the shop q
policeman said, II am very glad tc
find you have come out" explaining
that his anxiety was due to the fact
that the barber came out Of luuatiC
asylum the previous week, and as he
had been acting queerly again his reIa
tlves were wondering whether they
would have to send him back to the
asylum,-London Standard.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
CROSSING THE LINE.
Old Neptune and tho Ancient Order
Of tho Deep.

Of tho Deep.
TIE ceremony Of crossing the line
Is very much more elaborate affair
nowadays than It ever has been despite
the fact that Neptune day II so old a
celebration that lie origin Is lost to
history.
When old Neptune, lnpersonated by
a sailor, makes his appearance on an
American battleshlp nowadays when
the vessel reaches latitude 0 degree,
minute, O second, to initiate the
tackles who have never crossed the
line before into the mysteries aud
membership Of the Ancient order OF
the Deep he Is accompanied by his
wife. Amphtrlte, another sailor They
are both dressed Enthusiastically 10
clothes which have been designed aud
worked upon ever since the vessel,
sailed. How they get on board is uni
known, at least 10 the captain, whQ
meets them and gives them permisN
sion to go ahead. An immense tank
made OF canvas is rugged up, and here
the initiation OF all the candidates
takes place, Devices for getting the
candidate into the tank vary on dlf'
ferent ships and on different occA.
Elons, Often he Is simply picked up
and thrown In, Frequently he IL
made to sit down in a BARRIERS"
chair close to the edge Of the tank,
and when as much soap as possible
has been put into his mouth and eyes
he is tipped over backward. Generally
the soap has been mixed with tar,
coal oil and many other ingredients
and is impartial!y applied from the
waist up, 80 that the bath is needed,
In the tank the candidate is attend.
ed, sometimes by bears with shaggy
coats made Of unraveled rope and
sometimes by "cops" who act as the
kings assistants and see that the can.
dldate Is held under water long enough
to know it.
II Is great frolic, prepared for days
in advance, and when II is over the
certificate Is issued and the candidates
are free TO get themselves as clean as
they can before the next roll call
Philadelphia Record,
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23

In the days when the higher edUca-
ton OF women provoked more discus
sion than 1t does at the present time a
number of Cambridge university men
among them Arthur Clement Hilton.
who was born wit and died a clergy
man, were discussing the establish
ment of womeu's colleges. Hilton, says
his blographer. Sir Robert Edgecumbe.
expressed himself in favor Of tl(e move
ment A
"of course" be said, "wheb women
get their degrees they will not be bach
elors, but spinsters OF art, and then
after awhile they will proceed to the
degree of Nj. Ana"
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
The Joke Was on Her.

A woman member OF the bar in New
York gives to our correspondent the
following correspondence with the res
ervation that no names shall be quotea.
II am one OF the few women" she
says, who can see a joke even IL aim
ed at myself do not feel that in this
case came OF first best"
The first letter was from n man law
yer and was as follows:
Dear Miss Blank--we agree to the COM
promise as proposed In your favor Of this
date, Not because your client has n just
right 10 such settlement. but from the
fact that we do not care to open a con-
tost with woman lawyer.
To which this reply was sent;
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
No Deadheads,

Mandy was young colored girl
fresh from the cotton fields OF the
south. One afternoon she came to her
northern mistress and handed her a
visiting cord. "De lady wha' glib me
dis is in de pa'lor" she explained,
"Dey's annoder lady on de do'step."
Gracious, Mandy" exclaimed the
mistress, "why didn't you ask both Of
them to come in?"
"Kase, ma'am," grlnned the girl, de
one on de do'step done forgit her
Acknowledgements.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23

Gentlemen-I note yours agreeing 20 a
settlement, although l cannot oongratu-
late you on your gallantry In begging the
question. Like tho original Adam, you
potticoat.
And the following letter closed Tao
correspondence;
Dear Miss Blank-If you will turn 20 the
early pages OF Genesis you will discover
that Eve did not wear pstticoat
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23

The Brazilian capybara is a large,
stoutly built rodent Imagine a RAT
weighing $50 pounds with huge head,
an upper lip a foot long and close set
eyes and one has an idea OF the beast
He Ia the largest OF the rodent tribe
and has harsh, coarse hair, more like
bristles than fur. This hair Is mixed
black and yellow, OF dingy appearance.
In his native haunts the capyb ara has
a huge, fat stomach which almost
drags on the ground He Is a water
loving animal aud can dive and stay
under for eight or ten minutes at r
time, The jaguar Of South America
preys upon the capybara. and the In
dams kill him for his flesh, which
when smoked is said to be as delicious
as n Kentucky ham. although it has a
certain musky flavor The capybara
makes a sound when alarmed some
what between a dogs bark and a pigs
grunt. He was once called the hydro
choerus, or water hog, and lives on
vegetable diet.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Convenient Arran7sm.rt.

"What are you buying nowT
81 am looking for some present to
give my wife on her birthday. I tell
you, making presents costs a heap OF
money"
why don't you do as do? I have
never failed TO make my wife present
on her birthday every year for twenty.
five years, and I am not out a penny
thus far"
How do you manage itT'
at is very simple. After we were
married. when her birthday came
round, | gave her f5 note. When
my birthday came round. she gave me
the note back, and we have kept that
up ever since, and neither OF MS is out
nny."-London Tit-Bits
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Hunter, Waterproof Matehbss.

There is not a match safe made. so
far as know. that meets all Of the
requirements Of the sportsman as well
as a ten or twelve gauge brass shell
closed with cork stopper. This makes
a safe that is absolutely waterproof.
easily opened. is cheap and that will
float. II one wishes to provide against
the loss OF the stopper. cord may b.
fastened about the cork and the other
end fastened about the base Of the
shell.--Cor. Forest and Stream.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
a CurioiIa Fact

IT have some very strong letters Of
Introduction" said the caller.
my friend" answered Senator Sor-
ghum. II don't rely too far on COM
munications Of that kind. A man will
give you letter Of introduction de-
scribing you as possessed Of every no.
BILE quality in human nature and In the
next breath refuse to indorse your note
for $50. Washington Star.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23

caring for the immense crowd al
ways In attendance at such and that
Is Amarillo. We are admirably
equipped In every way to do them
the service due them. and hope all
interested will plug" for Amarillo,
as the 1909 convention city.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Accommodation for All.

Hotels aud boarding houses have
been crowded past the certainty OF
getting accommodation since yes
terday and incoming trains, this aft
ernoon, evening and night, are ex-
pected TO double the crowd that was
here this morning, Perfect weather
has greatly assisted the hotels and
other agencies in caring for the
crowds and thanks to generous re-
Spouse by citizens to the call for ac-
commodations every visitor who APP
plies Is being secured satisfactory
rooms at reasonable rates. The bu-
reau OF information in the Chamber
OF Commerce rooms was open all last
night and will open all tonight.
Convention Notes.
The class OF people now within our
gates are most certainly fine, pros
porous, successful looking lot OF
men, with plenty OF class. They
would do credit to any community
and we are heartily pleased to have
them with us.
A meeting OF the convention was
called for this morning, and 1t is
to be regretted there was such a
scant showing of Amarillo people
present. Come out, show your inter-
csc and enthusiasm,in an affair which
means much for Amarillo and sur
rounding country.
Amarillo is wearing a gala APP
pearance these days, all in honor OF
visiting cattlemen by whom this at
tention is appreciated. Yards upon
yards OF bunting is festooned all
down Polk street, and flags are gai-
ly floating in all quarters, and the
stores are in holiday attire. making
Amarillo these days quite n festive,
sportiye city.
SO far as the next convention Is
concerned, there's really only one
city in the Panhandle capable OF
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23

II rich man gives you employ
ment snarl at him II he has no work
for you snap at him; IL he speaks to
you grunt at him. If poor man
works for you swear at him; II he
does not, be discourteous to him; II
he asks you for work, offer him a
nickle; II he refuses to work for you
for lower wages than he can afford
use your influence to keep him from
working for anyone else Say your
town is the worst place in all christ.
endom; has meaner people, over
reaching business men; conniving
neighbors; in fact see no good in it,
lad you'll have a chance to grumble,
srowl and swear to your hearts con-
tent, while better and more consist
ent men will get the rewards of the
faithful aud the plans OF life,--Ca-
madam Record,
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Wrong Frame Of Mind.

Caroline, aren't you ever going to
join the church"
"of course am, Aunt Rachel, some
day. But you ought to know better
than ask me to do II when I'm right In
the midst of this drafted house clean
ing."-Chlcaso Tribune.
The weekly herald. [volume] (Amarillo, Tex.) 1906-19??, 1908-04-23
Innusndo.

Charley ls so poetical. When ac'
copied him he said he felt like an Inn
migrant entering a new world"
We'll, he was an Immigrant"
"That do youlmeani"
wasn't he lust landedr-Atlanta
Constitution.