Grant County herald. [volume] (Lancaster, Wis.) 1850-1968, 1908-10-28
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"Ill tell you one thing" said the
patient, as he composed himself in the
dentists chair "You needn't tell me-
I've got bad mouth, because know
it. I'm quite aware that it has been
neglected. If I had taken care OF my
teeth they wouldn't he in bad condition
and in that case 1 shouldn't have had
to come to you. / want to have that
understood before l begin"
That's understood" said the dentist.
mouth and let me see what's the
trouble"
'Wait a minute" said the patient.
"Don't you tell me that you intend to
conduct the examination from the out
side I know that, too. I'm not going
to open my mouth any wider than I
can without hurting 1t unless it's neces-
sary, so you needn't be alarmed.
know that's just a professional joke.
but don't like professional jokes"
II won't make any," the dentist as
sured him.
tooth you needn't get ocular about the
dam that you're going to put into my
mouth. There are twenty-five dentists
In this building besides yourself and I'll
bet SO that there isn't one of them
that hasn't sprung that bonmot every
time he's pulled a sheet of rubber over
a tooth"
4 = III
list
~ wish that you would said the
patient "Ill be obliged to you. And
while you might be quite right in sur
missing that I never expected to wear
golden crown until after I went to-
that bourn from whence-that jest, too,
will be sUperfuOus."
care you ready now?" asked the dent
ist
"Just a word or two more, as mat
ter Of precaution," said the patient
of you think you have to put in a
bridge say SO plainly and simply and
don't consider the possibility of ferry
answering the purpose"
"Well." said the dentist, a little im-
patiently.
"I've come to have my teeth f1xed,'
continued the patient. ''That's the pur-
pese / entertained in visiting you. I
expect to suffer physically. but have
Mt any notion of allowing you to indict
mental anguish on me at the same
time, if can help it's
"Quite right, and there's no occasion
for it," agreed the dentist.
"You needn't tell me, either, that you
aren't going to hurt me-" stipulated
the patient ''That might go down with
somebody who'd never been in a dent
lists chair before, but this isn't the first
time with me and 1 know blamed well
that you are going to hurt me. The
painless claims of dentistry apply strict
~ and solely to the practitioner. You
need not ask me- if you hurt me- You'll
bear Inc IOl;er and feel me jump and
that ought to be enough without ask
ing fool questions, L should think"
ST haven't any doubt that I shall be
able to tell" said the dentist. II might
put a glass of water handy for you to
throw at me if don't seem to under
stand and you object TO telling me, how
ever"
81 don't want to offend you," said
the patient. Don't miscOnstrue what
I'm saying I want to get this over
with as amicably as possible and I'm
mentioning a few or the things that
| have a tendency to irritate me. You
can't cheer me up with witticisms. You
couldn't make me laugh with laughing
gas and it would interrupt your work,
any way, if 1 INDUCED in fits of mirth.
I'll tell you now that my worst tooth
| the one that spurred me to action-has
stopped aching. 1t stopped just as !
was about to get in the elevator, so
feel quite independent about it. Some
men would have turned around and left
the building without paying you a cent
for the effect of your name as they
read it in the directory, but I'm not that
kind
care you ready to open your mouth
| and let me begin now?'' asked the dent
ist
ooh, darn it" said the patient.
well, suppose if 1 must 1 must
Chicago Daily News.
Marriage by Halter.
Among ignorant people of English
birth it was once the belief that wife
| houobt with money or goods was legally