The news=record. [volume] (Enterprise, Wallowa County, Oregon) 1907-1910, 1908-01-30
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She Indignantly You had no busi,
ness to kiss me! He-But it wasn't
business 1t was pleasure.-!Town Top
les.
ma, way does Sis sing so much
when Mr.. Spoonamore Is hereT II
think, dear, she is trying to test hls
love."-Chicago RecOrd-Herald.
The Mother-If he proposes to-day,
tell him he must speak to me. II he
doesn't propose, tell him l want to
speak to him.-Fllegende Blaetter.
Mrs. Flynn - An phat's yer son
Moike dom now, Mrs. Casey? Mrs
Casey-Shure, Moike amt doin' any
thing, Mrs. Flynn. He's got govern
ment job Life.
Hicks-Sayl Do you see thatf That
man Is letting his wife read the morn
ing paper before he does. Wicks-Ohs
we'll the home team isn't winning now.
-Somerville Journal.
Theater Official Ito students)
are not allowed to join in the chorus,
gentlemen. Students-Don't you wor-
ry. We are singing something quite
Fliegende Blaetter.
"Of course" said the earl, "every
body will say that you married me for
my title" "Well," replied the beautiful
heiress, what do we carer l get 1t,
don't I2"-Chicago Record Herald
Mrs. wigwag-How is your husband
Aunt Mandy2 Aunt Mandy-Porely.
ma am. He was gittln' along all right.
but now de doctah done say he got de
convalescence Record
Mother Ito future son-in-law) Il
may tell you that, though my daughter
is we'll educated, she cannot cook. Fu-
ture Son-in-Law-That doesn't matter
much, so long as she doesn't try.-Flie'
gende Blaetter.
"Gracious!" exclaimed Mrs. Schop
pen, "I've lost my pocketbook." "Never
mind, dear" replied her husband, "Tn
+ get you another pocketbook, and you
) can easily collect more dress goods sam
, pies. es."-Philadelphia Press.
. Mother-If you marry Robert, L
swear that I'll never set foot In your
house! Daughter-Please put that
down in writing. I'd like to give your
promise to Robert for wedding pres
ent !-Meggendorfer Blaetter.
Does your wife assist you in your
work." quered the horse reporter. Il
see her at your desk often" "Yes," re-
piled the self-confessed humOrlst. "She
destroys all my wife and mother-in-law
tokes."-Chicago Daily News,
|. She Ito her husband )-The poor chill
o drenl When you get up In the morn.
It Ing they have gone to school, and when
e you return at night they have gone to
l. bed. At least, write them souvenir
v post card.-Fliegende Blaetter.
d The Bachelor-t wonder why a WON,
has occasion to ask favor? The Ben.
edict-Oh, 1t gives her an opportunity
\. to raise It higher In case the favor
~ isn't granted.-Chicago News.
,e Green-I told my wife last week that
IS 1t would be necessary for us to econo-
r. mize Brown What did she say
It Green-She didn't say anything at the
J. time, but the next day she bought me
r. box of bargain counter cigars.-Chi.
10 ago News.
!; Mrs. Smlth-Yes, my little fve-year
s, old girl Is great help to my house
'e keeping. Mrs. Randall-Why, what can
le such child do to help? Mrp Smith
81 She goes down and tells the cook for me
W whenever we're going to have company
ls Mexican Herald.
"This Is n sad case" said the asy.
= lum attendant pausing before a padded
- - cell. "There is no hope for the patient
:. whatever" whats the trouble with
" himT asked the visitor "IIe thinks
- he understands railroad time table.
- Milwaukee Sentinel.
~ "You said the house was only fiv,
ia minutes walk from the station" com
planned the victim; ''to say the least
I'm disappointed in you" "And In
disappointed I'm you," replied the agent
81 thought you were very rapid walk
70 er."-Philadelphla Press.
'Is 1t true, doctor" asked the SUM
mer girl, that eating cucumbers vii
remove frecklesT "Of course" replied
20 DIR. Kidder, "under certain circum
- stances" "Really! What clrcum
- stancesY "Well, provided the freckle
80 are on the cucumbers. s."-Phlladelp
ledger.
$50 you don't share the general lndlg
70 nation toward the railwaysY mo,
80 answered Farmer Corntossel; II hav
. always felt that n locomotive was en-
- titled to great deal OF credit for stick
~ Ing to the track Instead OF snortln
:. up and down the country roads lik
-. IN automobile. Washington Star.
Smith-Excuse me, Jones, but ma
ask how you manage to have such dt
licious things TO eat? Jones-Its quit
=. simple. always kiss the cook bt
W fore dinner, and hold her on my kne
-. after dinner. Smith-But what doe
.a your wife say? Jones-Oh, she doesn
he object. She's the cook.--Brooklyn Lift
or Convenient.