davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
SMILED AT THE WRONG TIME.
overabundant Sense Of Humor at
Times Proves Costly.

When Laugh and the world laughs
with you was written, the author took
no thought Of the autocratic ones of
the earth who cannot see themselves
In anything approaching a ridiculous
light
IL Is related that the present car
OF Russia, returning once from a long
Journey, was weary and In no mood
TO be trifled with. As he was pass.
Ing through his apartments he slipped
on bearskin mat that lay on the
polshed floor Clutching at one of
MS attendants, he nearly brought him.
SELF and his support to the floor.
Baron Enidoff, at the time a conf.
Dental adviser, could not check a
smile, which his monarch turned lust
IN time to observe. The next day
Enidoff was dismissed from his of.
nee, and lost the 100000 attached 10
the post.
Another ruler who is not to be trifed
with Is William of Germany. Cough
Milbanke. clever but BLUM Scot. who
was an expert In colonial administra.
tion, was once taken up by the kaiser.
who wished his advice on eastern af.
iairs, and had decided to give him
an important position to guard Ger.
man interests in China. At one of
their conferences the kaiser made an
absurd suggestion as to eastern diplo-
macy Milbanke laughed. The EN-.
peror wished him frigid good nieht.
and never received him again.
Another Scottish administrator, Dun
can McVea, was advising the late pleas.
ant but touchy king of Portugal, who
had planned to put the shaky govern
ment of the Cape Verde islands in the
hands Of this skillful manager. The
king became much excited, and made
iudicrous botch of his English, which
was usually excellent. Mcvea smiled
audibly, and was promptly ordered
away. He was never appointed to the
governorship, which carried a salary
Of $4,000.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
Billion Dollar Grass.

Most remarkable grass of the century
Good for three rousing crops annually
One. Iowa farmer on 100 acres sold S.
10000 worth of seed and had 300 tons Of
hay besides. II is immense. Do try il
For 10c AND THIS NOTICE
send to the John A. Salzer Seed Co., La
Crosse, Wis. to pay postage, etc, and
they will mail you the only original seed
catalog published in America with sam.
pies of Billion Dollar Grass, Macaroni
Wheat, the sly miller mixer, Sainfoin the
dry soil luxuriator. Victoria Rape, the 20c
a ton green food producer, Silver King
Barley yielding l73 bu. per acre, etc., ETC.,
etc.
And IL you send l4c we will add a pacls
age of new farm seed never before seen
by you. John A. Salzer Seed Co., La
Crosse, Wis. X. q w.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
RESOLVED TO sNUB EVE.
Mrs. lntheswlm Intended to Draw 50.
cial Line In Heaven.

The minister had dropped in to tea,
and the conversation had drifted
through various channels to the ques.
ton Of whether or not we should know
each other in heaven. Presenting that
our physical beings would be perpetu-
ated, and that recognition would be as.
sured, the minister had asked various
ones at the table among whom the Bib.
lical characters they would be most
interested in recognizing.
Some mentioned one prophet and
some another, but one lady, noted for
her social exclusiveness, had not
spoken. Turning to her the minister
said: And who would you like to meet
In heaven, Mrs. Intheswim?"
Mrs. Intheswim pursed her lips. II
really don't know" she said, but there
Is one thing l do know, and that Is
that shouldn't care to meet Eve. In
fact, don't know that / would speak
to her II did"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

MISS BESSIE FARRELL 1o11 Third
IVA Ave, Brooklyn, N. Y, is Presi.
dent of the Young Peoples Christian
Temperance Association. She writes:
''Peruna is certainly valuable nerve
and blood remedy, calculated to build
up the brolsen-down health of worn out
women. ! have found by personal ex-
perience that it acts as a wonderful re-
storer of lost strength, assisting the
stomach to assimilate and digest the
food, and building NJ WORKOUT tissues.
In my work l have had occasion to
recommend 1t freely, especially to
women.
81 know Of nothing which is better to
build up the strength Of a young mother,
in fact, all the ailments peculiar to
women, so ! am pleased to give 1t my
hearty endorsement"
DIR. Hartman has prescribed Peruna
for many thousand women, and he
never fails to receive a multitude Of
letters like the above, thanking him
for the wonderful benefits received.
Man-a.Iin the Ideal Laxative.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
CURED HER CHILDREN,
Girls Suffered with Itching Eczema
Baby Had Tender Skin, Too
Relied on Cuticura Remedies.

Some years ago my three little
girls had a very bad form of eczema.
Itching eruptions formed on the backs
Of their heads which were simply GOV.
cred. I tried almost everything, but
failed. Then my mother recommended
the Cuticura Remedies. washed my
children's heads with Cuticura Soap
and then applied the wonderful ONT.
ment, Cuticura. did this four or Eve
times and / can say that they have
been entirely cured. have another
baby who is so plump that the folds of
skin on his neck we're broken and even
bled. I used Cuticura Soap and Cuti.
cura Ointment and the next morning
the trouble had disappeared. Nine.
Napoleon Duceppe. Al Duluth st..
Montreal, Que, May 81. 1907"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
EXCELLENT FOR COLDS.

Mix two ounces OF glycerine with
half pint Of good whiskey and add one.
half ounce Of Concentrated Oil of Pine.
The bottle is to be well shaken each
time and used in doses of teaspoon.
full to tablespoonful every four
hours. The true Concentrated Oil OF
Pine comes put up for medicinal uses
only in half ounce walls sealed in tin
screw-top cases and is a product of the
laboratories Of the Globe Pharmaceuti.
cal Co., Dayton. o. The ingredients
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
Damage Done by Rats.

"The western farmer is waking up
to a realization Of the fact that he
is. as the agricultural department told
him some time ago. losing not less
than $100,000,00o year from rats"
says j. II. Van Burden. Milwaukee
grain merchant. ut costs about so
cents year to feed rat. We know
this because we have boxed them up
and fed them as much grain as they
would eat for year. II is conserva.
tive estimate to place our rat popula.
ton at 150,000.000. About one-third
Of them live in the large cities, where
they do not get so much grain"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
A Trauedy,

A Mr.. Nosmo King was questioned
about the oddly of his Christian
name.
ut Is this way" he said; my moth.
er made a point of giving all of her
children unusual names. was three
months old before she found one for
me that she liked. One day, while
out shopping, she saw on one-half of a
swinging door the word 'Nosmo,' while
the other half bore King her own
name.
Nosmo King she noted mentally,
not perceiving that the letters spelled
no smoking when the doors were
closed; hence my lifelong affiiction. -
Harpers Weekly.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

ny local applications, they cannot reach the dis
easod portion OF the ear There IL only one way 70
cpre Deafness and that 10 by constitutional remedies
Deafness 10 caused BY an inhamed condition OF the
mucous lining OF the Eustachian Tube when this
tube 10 innamed you have q rumbling sound or i'm.
perfect hearing. and when II IL entirely closed Deaf
ness 10 the result and unless the Inflammation can be
taken out and this tube restored 10 It's normal cond.
ton, hearing will be destroyed forever; nine cases
out OF ten caused by Cstarrh, which Is nothing
but an innamed condition OF the mucous surfaces.
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case Of
Deafness caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured
by Halls Catarrh Cure. send for circulars, free.
Y. j. CHENEY d CO., Toledo, O
Sold by Druggists, T5c.
Take FAIRS Family Pills for constipation.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
Mans Endless Quest.

AS a great preacher once said:
Man is continually looking for his
lost inheritance of happiness, which
the allegory of the Garden of Eden
prefigures. He knows II exists for
him somewhere, and he is ever knock.
ing, knocking-generally at the wrong
door, of selfishness, greed, amoition.
lust, all sorts of foolish DOORS and we
call his mistaken seeking by name,
Sim"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
Similar Result.

There are certain delicate shades OF
expression of which a Frenchman is,
as a rule, past master. One member
of that fluent nation, stranded in New
York, was setting forth his troubles to
a lawyer.
II understand from what you say
that you are convinced your friend lie.
comte has stolen your purse" said the
lawyer.
mo, no. monsieur, not so fast!"
cried his client. 81 only say that II lie.
comte had not assisted me to hunt for
1t ! should have found 1t again.
Youths Companion.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

and grew too weak to work. Though
constantly using medicine despaired
of being cured until began taking
Doan's Kidney Pills. Then relief came
quickly, and In short time I was
completely cured. am now In ex-
cellent health"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, N. Y.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
Heard al fhe Drama.

Mrs. Ryetop-John. hey much time
elapses between the seconS upd third
acts?
Mr.. Ryetop-The program says six
months, Maria.
Mrs. Ryetop (aghast)-Six months,
John? Lands, we can't wait! Why,
them buckwheat cakes I left to riz
will have gone clear through the roof
by that time.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
How the Governor Felt.

Gov. Hughes recently addressed the
West End Woman's Republican club
Of New York and remarked in the
course Of his talk: my happiness on
this occasion may be compared with
the young lady on her first visit to
Venice. believe she wrote her init.
mate friend as follows: I am here
on the Grand Canal, drinking 1t all in. ;
She added: LIES never seemed so
full before"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

l had a bad fall and
It affected my kid
neys. Severe pains
in my back and hips
became constant, and
sharp twinges fol-
lowed any exertion.
The kidney secre-
lions were badly dis
C0lorad I Lost fash
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
AZ a Substitute.

Mrs, Parkway-It must be lonesome
when your husband has to make one
OF his long canvassing trips and be
away from home for a week or more.
Mrs. Nexblok-Yes; but Harry is
real thoughtful. He has taught the
parrot to use just the kind of Ian
guage he uses when he's about The
house himself.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
N a Pinch, Use ALIENS Foor.EAsE

powder. It cures painful, smart
,ng, nervous feet and ingrowing nails.
It's the greatest comfort discovery Of
The age. Makes new shoes easy. A
certain cure for sweating feet. Sold
py all Druggists, 25c. Accept no sub
stitute. Trial package, FREE. Ad-
iress A. s. Olmsted, lie Roy, N. Y.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
Oil Fuel for Warshlps.

The British admiralty is consider.
ing the possibility of supplanting coal
Nth oil in the mosquito" fleet. the
swiftest of England's war boats. A
fleet of naval tank steamers would
keep the depots supplied,
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

katherine" called the old gentle
man from the top of the stairway,
ARE you still telling that young man
good night In the vestibule?"
yes, pa" called the fond daugh.
ter.
We'll, don't you know you are
wasting the light?"
"Oh. what's the difference. Il is
love that makes the world go round /"
Yes. and 1t also makes the gas
meter 60 round"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

Whatever we really are. that let us
be In all fearlessness. Whatever we
are not, that let us cease striving to
seem to be.-Toybee.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
Gone. ANYHOW.

Mr.. Jawback-That boy gets his
brains from me.
Mrs. Jawback-Somebod got 'em
from you, II you ever had any-that's
a cinch.-Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

Digestive Difficulties? Headache? Sal
low complexion? The remedy is Garfield
Tea, the Herb Laxative. Write for sam
Piles. Garfield Tea Co., Brooklyn, N. Y.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

The average mans idea Of a good
sermon is one that goes over his head
and hits one Of his acQuaintances.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For childreL teething softens the gums reduces IN
aammAton, alays palm, cures wind collie. CSC bottle
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

Sudden Changes Of the Weather
often cause Bronchial and Lung trou.
bles. Browns Bronchial Troches" al.
lay throat irritation and coughs.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

1t is her winning ways that often
snable woman to get the better of q
man In the matrimonial game.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

Some silence may be golden, but
much of II is ironical.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

PILES CURED IN o TO IL DAYS.
rALO OINTMENT ID guaranteed 10 cure any cass
ltching Blind, bleeding or Protruding Piles In
' To IL days or money refunded. bOc.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

Goethe: There ia nothing more
!rightful than ignorance in action.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

An average yield Of ginger in ia
maica Is about 1000 pounds an acre.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
HER GOOD FORTUNE.
After Years Spent In Vain Effort.

Mrs. Mary r. II. Rouse, OF Cam
bridge, N. Y, says: Five years ago
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

II wishes were coal heaps we'd none
OF US freeze.-Detroit Free Press.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
WHAT CAUSES HEADACHE.

From October TO May, Colds are the most FIRE.
9uent cause Of Headache. LAXATIVE BRoMo
QUININE removes cause. E.W Grove on box $50
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07
important TO kothara.

Examine carefully every bottle of
CASTORIA safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that Il
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-03-07

Proud Mother--Everybody says the
baby looks like me.
Her Brother-The spiteful things
don't say that to your face, do they?
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
LADIES' TAILORED SUITS.

We are showing quite a good Broad
cloth Suit in blacks and colors, made in
one Of the best styles. Coat is thirty
four inches long, is lined throughout
with good satin lining, is finished with
Skinner satin stitched bands. Skirt is
full circular flare, finished with satin.
ATsI5. 90 is a popular Suit Of an in
visible striped worsted. Coat is made
thirty-six inches long, is cut slashed.
Skirt is finished with Skinner satin
bands, and is made circular fare, with
satin band down front.
AT SIS 90 is a line of Broadcloth and
Worsted Suits in thirty-six inch plain
tailored coat, with full gored skirt.
AT Soc z1s0, $500 and 5000
is line of Sample Suits in variety of
popular cut styles, finished with braid
and satin. Many of the coats have a
flannel interlining, which makes them as
warm as separate coat.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
LADIES' TAILORED COATS.

We are receiving by nearly every ex-
press new values in Ladies' Long Black
and Colored Coats. These Coats are
made for warmth and service, combined
with style and finish.
See the special warm Broadcloth
Coats, made in the new models and in
terlined with a good weight flannel,
making very warm, stylish Coat.
AT 50. so is a very good value in a
Black, Heavy Coat, made fifty inches
long, partial fitted back and lined to
waist.
AT SS.75 is a Dark Brown Invisible
Striped Coat. made Of a good quality
wool cloaking. Coat is partial fitted
back and lined to waist.
AT $1,000 is a line Of Coats in black,
blue, green and brown. Goods is a
good quality broadcloth, partial fitted
back and finished with braid. Is lined
throughout.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
LADIES' TAILORED COATS,

AT Si2. 90 is a line of Black Coats,
made of good quality melton goods,
lined to the waist with a guaranteed
lining. Is finished with velvet and
braid.
AT $40 so are some values in Black
and Colored Broadcloth Goats in the
latest cuts, lined throughout with a
guaranteed satin, finished with braid,
and are full fifty inches long.
AT $500 we will give you a Broad
cloth Coat which has all the style and
wearing qualities of a $500 Coat.
Coat is lined throughout and has fan
mel interlining.
AT $40. 90, II. so, $500 and 27.s0
IL line of Coats in all the latest models,
made of fine, smooth finished broad
cloth and has a flannel interlining and
are almost as warm as Fur-lined
Coat.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
Clothes for the Young Man!

We have long pant Suits for young of the hour The
making of Clothes for these young dessers has become
We know exactly what these young fellows desire and
quire Suit and that they get when they here
The fall models have every dash of style worked into the
and tailoring. The fabrics coorngs of browns olives
many choice and fancy tweeds and chew
lots Suits at $3.50 $1,000 $1,000 to $3.50 Gust the
thing what many young fellow says when looking
Suits.
We Csaa, Press Repair Clothing
to
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11

wheel confident that nothing etard countrys march
still greater wealth and prosperity The steady increase in
the Dry Goods and Garment business of Barre surely
indication of the wealth and prosperity of home
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
A. p. Abbott q Co.
TALK OF THE TOWN

Look at the program of the Theator-
ium.
w r. Rowland and F. A. WEIGH Of
East Corinth we're visitors in the city
to-day.
Delicious lobster, chicken and oyster
patties at the Rathskeller until further
notice. Keep track Of adv. on fourth
page.
Mr.. and Mrs. Warren p. Craft of Pier.
mont, n. H.. were in the city to-day to
attend the funeral Of Mrs. Crafts uncle,
+. NJ Scott.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
Chicken Pie Supper.

The following is the menu for the
chicken pie supper, to be given at the
Universalist church fair, Thursday night,
November IL.
Tomato soup
Chicken pie Cranberry jelly
Rolls
Mashed potatoes Vegetable salad
Lemon sherbert
Cake Coffee Cheese
Supper served at o'clock. Price, %
cents.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11

WANTED Board and room for single man
permanently, Address ]. Il Jones, Adam
ant, VT, 204t6s
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
Card Of Thanks

We wish to express orr heartfelt
thanks to all the friends and neighbors
and others who in any way assisted US
in saving our home from fire on Mon
day night.
Mr.. and Mrs. M, A, Mclean.
Williamstown.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
TOO LATE FOR CLASSIFICATION

FOR sALE-Two- tenement house which
rents for S27e00 per year. Always rented
Both teaemants nave baths Nice location,
Price for immediate sale only s2200.o0. Figure
abe rate OF tn tersst this win pay. d. A. Ferry
Real Estate Agency, Barre, VT, 204f
FARM FOR sALE--Locatsd about three
miles from Millamstown. Contains i66 acres
TiIage liz practically level and very produc-
tive plenty of fruit and wood. Large modern
barn. clapboarded and painted, with basement
Comfortable house, Place will keep % cows
win sell for s22oo00 This Is q bargain. ID. A.
Perry Real Estate Agency Barre, VT 204tf
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
The Kings Business.

Union afternoon services will be he'll
at four o'clock, as follows:
Tuesday, Baptist church.
Wednesday, Presbyterian church.
Thursday, Congregational church.
Friday, Methodist church.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11

NUETtF VII &c stIfta
Price - cents.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11

The second entertainment in the Cod.
dard lecture course will be given Wed
nesday evening, November Is, at the
Universalist church, at o'clock. tt
will be lecture recital on Mark Twain
the Great, by Charles +. Underhill Of
New York City. The following is said
Of Mr. Underhill by the manager Of the
Y. NJ. G. A. course Of Philadelphia: Mr.
Chas. +. Underhill Is one Of the fixed
stars in the association course. His APP
pearances on our course have been SO
numerous that we have lost the count
and we hope to have him many times in
the future. He is an accomplished read
er of remarkable versatility, a genial
man and general favorite Chas. II.
Mevill, manager of the association
course in Philadelphia.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
A. ?. ABBOTT & CO. A. p ABBOTT CO A. P ABBOTT & CO
Daylight Store y
On With the
Good Work!

The election over and even those who
were most uneasy as to its possible results
thoroughly treasured. with bountiful crops,
with the demand for labor again on the in
crease, with the total wealth of our country
reaching grand total of over l07 billion dol
lars and with other favorable indications OF
prosperity, let us all put our shoulders to the
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
A Fish Chowder Supner.

Menu for the fish ehowder supper,
which win be given Friday night, No
vember ID, at the Universalist fair.
Fish chowder
Boiled ham Ounce sauce
Hot rolls
Cabbage salad Celery Jelly Pickles
College ice
Assorted cake Coffee
Supper viii be served at 6 o'clock.
Price - cents.
The Barre daily times. (Barre, Vt.) 1897-1959, 1908-11-11
Get A STANDARD PATTERN FREE
With The STANDARD Fashion Book.

You sew tor yourself or Others you want to have all the
styles tor Winter you want guide in selecting your entire
get TINS beautiful Winter number Price zoe or 25c
by mall intending certificate good for one Standard paen
free Thus the book itself actually costs you but FIVE cents
Here way you get for less than nothing Subscribe
or the Designer for sue and the Standard Fashion Book
tue ee pattern eertheae will be given upon payment
10 cents extra Thus get the Book and the Pattern for
less than the of the Pattern alone
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-12-03

u TO
tOur
the col
for the
com NeT
Driver ar
adopt
VERSA
TeI
The Cairo bulletin., 1908-12-03

are building additions to other build
ings for more machinery with a sec
ond story to the engine house 35XG5
The company are now turning oul
forty-fye different kinds Of WASH
boards. Of a high grade quality. and
they have come TO be regarded hy
dealers in all parts of ihe country az
tho makers 81 The best boards n thr
country.
The company carries stocks i1
bonded warehouses and has aganciC-
err branch offices iu an the big cen.
tors OF trade. south. north. east aud
west. and although they have mada
Htle noise. they have done well 90
rected work quietly. depending upon
the merits Of their goods 90 brine
them recognition.
The manufacture Of egg cases i-
still an important branch 0f theft
business. but the boom the wash
board department threatens 20 over
shadow the manufacture Of hen fruit
recertacles.