davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
J0KED HIMSELF IN.
Hsw "Private" John Allen Got Himself
Elected to Congress.

Elected to Congress.
Here is Champ Clark's defense Of
humor, If it needs one:
1.-THE dry-as-dusts solemnly assev-
crate that humor never did any good.
Now, let's see. How did Private John
Allen of Mississippi get to congress?
Joked himself in. One bit Of humor
sent him to Washington, a national
lawmaker. Opposing him for the con-
gressional nomination was the Confed-
crate General Tucker. They met on
the stump. General Tucker closed one
OF his speeches as follows:
"'Seventeen years ago tonight, my
fellow citizens, after a hard fought
battle on yonder hill, blvouacked I'M
der yonder clump Of trees. Those Of
you who remember as 1 do the times
that tried mems souls will not, hope
forget their humble servant when the
primaries shall be held
"That was a strong appeal in those
days, but John raised the general at
his own game. My fellow citizens,
he said, what General Tucker says to
you about bivouacking under yonder
clump Of trees is true. 1t is also true,
my fellow citizens, that 1 was a vedette
picket and stood guard over him while
he slept Now, then, fellow citizens,
all you who were generals and had
privates to stand over you while you
slept vote for General Tucker, and all
OF you who were privates and stood
guard over the generals while they
slept vote for Private John Allen
The people caught on, took John at
his word and sent him to congress,
where he stayed until the world was
Oiled with his renown."
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
A SHORT SPEECH.
Made by an Indian Chief In Reply 20
Government Agent.

maoe ~ an tnoian Snief IN hepiJ 20
Government Agent.
Old Shah-bdh-Skong. the head chief
OF Mile Lac, brought all his warriors
to defend Fort Ripley In 1862 The
secretary Of the interior and the gov
ernor and legislature of Minnesota
promised these Indians that for this
act Of bravery they should have the
special care OF the government and
never be removed.
A few years later a special agent
was sent from Washington to ask the
Ojlbways. to cede their lands and re-
move to a country north Of Leech
lake. The agent asked my help. |
said:
IL know that country. | have camp
ed on It. 1t is the most worthless strip
OF land in Minnesota. The Indians are
not fools. Don't attempt this folly.
You will surely come to grief"
He called the Indians in council and
said:
"My red brothers, your great father
has heard how you have been wrong
ed. He said, 4 will sell them an hon
est man. He looked in the north, the
south, the east and the west. When
he saw me, he said, This is the hon.
est man whom l will send to my red
children Brothers, look at me! The
winds Of ffty-fve years have blown
over my head and silvered it with
gray. and in all that time have never
done wrong to any man. AS your
friend l ask you to sign this treaty"
Old Shah-b0h-Skong sprang to his
feet and said:
"My friend. look at me! The winds
Of more than fifty winters have blown
over my head and sivered it with
gray. but they have not blown my
brains away"
That council was ended.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
Aid For the Explorer.

"Peary," said a geographer Of Chica-
go, never started on one Of his explor-
ing expeditions without receiving by
mail and express all sorts Of packages
from cranks-cowhide underwear, tea
tablets, medicated boots and what not.
"Peary once told me that George AIDE
a few days before the start Of one trip
wired him to expect an important pack
age by express.
1.-The package came. 1t was labeled:
ITO be opened at the farthest point
porth.'
"Peary opened it at once, however.
It was a small keg, inscribed:
, "'Axle greese for the pole.'"
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
THE NECK RUFF.
Il Reached Its Full Glory In the Six
teenth Century.


teenth Century.
One of the most peculiar and inter
esting evolutions in histo ic fashion is
the growth and development of the
ruff in England. This ruff began its
career as a humble little something
like a tuck running along the top Of
the chemisette from shoulder to shout
der. You can see it grow in the
portraits Of royal personages slowly,
but surely, like a great linen flower
opening its plated petals from genera
ton to generation. During the reign
Of Henry VII. it was scarcely more
than a budding excrescence. but with
Henry VIII. it had outgrown its tuck
stage to the extent Of reaching up to
the ears and was beginning to sport a
mild flare. Those were the days of
such strict sumptuary laws that in or
der to wear black genet you must be
royal, to wear sable you must outrank
your viscount neighbor. to wear mar
ten or velvet trimmings you must be
able to show an income of over 200
marks a year. The reign Of Edward
VI. and Queen Mary merely fostered
the ruff without encouraging it to any
greater development. But Queen Eliza
beth, seeing in it possibilities for Off
setting her red hair and clear skin,
famed it into vigorous life. In the six
teenth century the ruff burst into full
bloom. Men and women, even tiny
princesses, were overshadowed by the
stiff rays of the ruff on all great occa-
sions. Even over France, Germany
and Italy 1t spread its white pinions
and held unquestioned sway until it
fell with the Roundheads.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
MISLEADING NAMES.
Terms In Science That Belle the Prod.
uets TO Which They Apply.

uets 70 Wnlch iney Apply
There are terms In certain depart
ments of science that positively mis-
name the products TO which they are
applied.
The word "oil" in its more compre-
hensive and indiscriminate uses is
made to include hydrocarbons, like Pc
troleum, and also many other sub
stances that have an oily appearance,
like "oil OF vitriol," which is not oil at
all, but sulphuric acid.
Strictly speaking, the mineral oils,
including all petroleum products, are
not Oil, although we speak OF ''coal
oil" and kerosene oil"
The best class.fcations of oils do not
include mineral hydrocarbons, like
naphtha, paraffin and petroleum, but
treat only the two well defined groups
fixed oils and fats and the essential
or volatile oils.
"Copperas" is not copper, but sui
phate OF iron. salt OF lemon" has
nothing to do with the fruit Of the
lemon tree. but is potassium binoxalate
or potash treated with oxalic acid.
"Carbolic acid" Is not an acid, but q
phenol. In structure It is allied to the
alcohols and has only slight acid prop
critics. "Soda water" has no trace Of
soda. "Sulphuric acid' contains no
sulphur. sugar of lead" is innocent
of sugar.
Cream of tartar" has nothing to do
with cream nor milk of lime" with
milk. German silver is a stranger
to silver, and ''black lead" is not lead
at all, but graphite. mosaic gold' is
q sulphide of tin.
These misleading names have come
down from the vocabulary Of an early
and inexact chemistry. AS popular
science extends the old terms are
yielding to the more scientific nomen-
clature.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
FISHES FACES.
The Fascination They Have For One
Lover Of Nature.


Did you ever stop to examine the
expression on the face of a fish?
do not mean OF some VIGOROUSLY gro
tesque fish. but of Just any plain sea-
faring fish. confess that the fascina-
ton for me is the same whether
stand in front Of some great collection
Of little monstrosities like that In the
Naples aquarium or whether sit by
my dining room window and contem-
plate the goldfish in my little boys
glass bowl. People watch the mon
keys at the zoo and remark how hui
man they are, how sly and crafty the
old ones, how cute and playful the
young ones. But for steady company
give me the fish. How restful they
are with their mouthings, as regular
as If they were governed by a balance
wheel. How quiet. too, for not one
word Of murmured protest or Of chat
tering fault finding do they infiict upon
usl How philosophical as they bask
in the sun the livelong day or seek
the occasional shade Of the modest
sprig Of greens which forms the
conventional garnishing Of their wa
terry abode! How easily gratifed are
their simple tastes! Surely with their
good manners, their quiet department
and their s'oical bearing goldfish are
the ideal companions Of the mature
man. Monkeys and dogs and kittens
may amuse the children by their tricks
and antics, but only the grown man
can appreciate the solid qualities Of
the fish's character as written upon
his MISUNDERSTANDING Monthly.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
A Woman's Era

"If were a man.! is surely a very
unnecessary cry these days The
epoch of the man is past The TWEEN
tieth century is the era of the wO
man.
There is with a few very slight ex-
ceptions nothing that q woman as a
woman cannot do. and do every bit as
well as If she were man.-London
p r. o
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

EOR SALE-A farm containing $50 acres and
all under fence. nice cottage CT FIVE
a store room over IL, two good stock barns
one tenant house; about 500 apple and peach
trees. also pears, ounces and aprlcots; most
all kinds or small fruits, Including a nice
vinyard OF choicest grapes; 200 acres cleared,
balance In woods. 125 acres In grass; several
groves OF black locust sufficient for posts to
wire the whole farm in. 1t lies near EkrOn
on T.. II. & st. l.. r. II. price Is q, 900 ON
long and easy payments.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

G2EO ~ acre farm, Az miles from Clo-
VOOO verport, on Cloverport and Bow
ling Green road, well improved, small
dwellings, good barns, smoke house. hen
house and corn crib. One good cistern, and
fresh water rings, 1 tar and sulphur
spring. SO acres cleared land, balance in
woods. acres in orchard. Raised 20, 0O0
%. On six acres OF the wood land there are
3l5 merchantable trees. 1t is a splendid farm
for tobacco, corn and wheat The uncut
timber valued at $3.50 10 acres In wheat. This
Is good bargain for some man who wants a
small farm.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
Eczema.

For the good of those suffering with
eczema or other such trouble, wish to
say, my wife had something of that kind
and after using the doctors remedies
for some time concluded TO try Chamber
lain's Salve, and it proved to be better
than anything she had tried For sale
at Sewers Drug Store.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

Does your back ache9 Do you have
sharp pains in the side and the small Of
the back9 This is due, usually, to kid
ney trouble. Take Dewitt S Kidney
and Bladder Pills. They will promptly
relieve weak back, backache, rheumatic
pains and all Kidney and Bladder
disorders. Sold and recommended by
all Druggists.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
L. ST |. TIME TABLE

Ems bOONDs
No. liB, Daily Fast Train leaves CloverpCrt
:07 A. M. stops at IrvingtCn and West Point
only, arrive at Louisville 7 ;25 A. NJ.
No. Il2 Daily, Mail ana Express, leaves Gle
verport 1904 A; NJ. stops at all way stations
arrives Louisville 12:45 p. 10
Train No. ia. Daily, fast mail, leaves ClO-
verport 4 :55 D. M. stops at all way stations,
east OF Cloyerport except Mystic. arrives at
Train No. i4s. Daily, Cloverport accommo-
dalton arrives Cloverport slO D. m.
WEST BOUND
No. 147, Daily, Evansville accommodation
leaves CloverpOrt 90 "A. m. stops at all way
stations arrives Evansville 300 a. IN.
Train No. Ill. Daily, fast mail and express
leaves Cloverport II :05 a. M, stops only az
Hawesville, Lewisport. Maceo 0wensboro
Stanley. Spottsvile, Reeds. Henderson and
Evansville, arrives St. Louis 80 D. M.
Train No ll3. Mail and Express daily, ar
rives Cloverport z; 40 p. M, Evansville 10 80
y. IN. stops at all stations.
No 115, daily ST. Louis fast train, leaves Clio
gerport II :06, p. NJ. arrives Evansville S5 A.
NJ. St. Louis 40 A. Nj. stops at Hawesville
Greensboro and Henderson only.
Chair cars on trains III, ll2, 113, III between
Louisville and Evansville. Through sleeping
cars and free reclining chair cars on trains lis
AND i16, between Louisville, Evansville and
st. Louis.
FOrdSVIIe Branch
EAST BOUND.
Train No. q daily except Sunday. leaves
Fordsville 500 a n, --rsives Irvington &c
a. IA.
Train No. 4. Daily except Sunday leaves
Fordsvill5 $3.50 y m, arrives Irvington 5 :3C
y. III.
Train No. 8. Sunday only.
Fordsvil lie 100 a. m, Irvington ;s5 A. m
WEST BOUND
Train No. g. Daily except Sunday leaves
Irvtngton IL 10 a. M, arrives Fordsville 2 IS:
D. m.
Train No. 5, Daily, leaves IIvington 7.O5 I
m arrives Fordsville 10:15 .. m.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
A New Definition.

The class was studying grammar.
"Now," said the teacher. "can any
one give me a word ending with 'ous.
meaning full Of, as in dangerous full
OF danger. and hazardous full of
hazardT
There was silence in the class for a
moment. Then a boy sitting in the
front row put out his hand.
"Well, John" said the teacher, what
is your wordY
"Please, sir" came the reply,
"'pious.' full of pie"
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
JnO. ID. Babbage.

GQ00 1852 acres miles from Cloverport
VOOO and miles from Hardinsburg on
Cloverport and Hardinsburg turnpike. Inn
and other out buildings, IL acres in orchard,
500 bearing trees and $50 young tees. ~ acres
in timber, hickory and oak, 20 acres in grass
balance In state OF good cultivation. Two
never falling springs and good well. Good
limestone land suitable for tobacco, corn and
wheat. Well located for market One. third
cash balance on easy terms.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
Masonic Celebration, liardinsburg

Sl.0O round trip Cloverport to Har-
dinsburg and return, Aug. ], limited to
return same day. Tickets to be sold
for train leaving Cloverport IL. o. a. m.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
5000 a9l acres ieins I aab,

CkOO-75 acres, situated IL miles from
pOOO Holt, joins Gabe Pierce. Ridge land
in good shape, good fenciug, one good dwell
lug house, rooms, / good cistern barn
3Oxl6 feet, never-failing spriug, two ponds,
This Is good tobacco, wheat and corn land. 20
acres in timber, white oak, sugar tree and
beech, balance cleared, Plenty Of good fruit
road to Hol ON miles, This farm is not worn
cut; It is good land and In good fix. Just the
farm for a man with small family.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
Special Tourist Fares.

Old Point Comfort and Norfolk. Re-
duced fares from Cloverport July a.,
30, Aug. 8, 10, 40, q, Sept. ;, 10, II,
"a. Return limit 40 days from date Of
sale.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

The Kentucky State Fair manage
ment has arranged a free amusement
program which alone is worth the
price Of admission.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

To feel strong, have good appetite and
digestion, sleep soundly AMI enjoy life,
use Burdock Blood Bitters, the great
system tonic and builder.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

For catalogue, entry blanks or other
Information. write j. W. Newman. Sec
rotary. 800 Paul Jones Building, Louis
vile, KY.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

Cures baby's Group, Willie's daily Gu .
and bruises, mama's sore throat, grand
mas lameness--Dr. Thomas Eclectric
Oil-the great household remedy.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

q OEO 352 acres on Hardinsburg and
Do, >OO Falls of Sinking road, miles
from Sample. improvements, two one-story
dwellings, three big barnes. hog house and
blacksmith shop, all necessary out-houses.
1870 acres under cultivation and pasture, 222
acres in timber, white oak, black oak, beech
water the year round. One-third cash and
good easy terms on balance
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
Real Estate Department

Do you want to buy farm business If you do you
may find Just what you need this department you
ed any the following propretes write
and address, If of these places you write
telling what you want and where you want IL and let
introduce you the who has the very property you
are looking for.
We recommend the following properties being productive
and fair in price
Do You Want TO Sell your farm business9 If you
want cash for your property send price and description
and let show you how bring buyer and seller together
This department is conducted solely for the purpose enabling
buyers sellers of business poprees quick sales
JnO. ID. Babbage
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

$l.55 from Cloverport to Owensboro
and return on account of Seven Hills
Chautauqua. Dates of sale July 80, 81
and Aug. to ii inclusive. Good to
return Aug. 10.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

Cloverport to Atlantic City and return
July 30, Aug. 6, Aug. l3, good to return
Is days from date Of sale.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

DeWitt's Little Early Risers, safe,
easy, pleasant, sure. little liver pills
Sold by all Druggists.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12
Henderson Route NOres.
Home Seekers Rates

To the West and South West first and
third Tuesdays via L. H. & St. L.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

Two FOOm COLbdBt On murray ANcuuc
Well located. Rents for IS per month.
CT ZEO 1856 acres on Hardinsburg and
~ ,IOO Falls OF Sinking road, miles
from Sample. Improvements, dwelling and
a good, big barn. 80 acres In oak and beech
timber. The oak timber is good tie timber
Beech never been worked. Timber can be
hauled either by water or rail. Limestone
land, both bottom and hill. Suitable for
tobacco and fruit. Plenty good water year
round. Terms, one third cash, balance In
easy payments.
EOR SALE-A splendid stand for a druggist
4 and physician In good town surrounded
by good, prosperous farmers. This Is just
the place for some young physician to step
into good practice and a good drug business.
An old established physician wants to retire
is the reason for selling. For further partic-
ulars address JNO. ID. BABBAGE, Glover
port, Ky.
The Breckenridge news. (Cloverport, Ky.) 1876-1955, 1908-08-12

Two room cottage on Murray Avenue
Well located. Rents for IS per month.
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1908-06-17
instant RELIEF OF
ITCHING HUMOR
Limbs Below the Knees Were Raw
Feet Too Swollen to GET Shoes
On Sleep Completely Broken
by Intense itching and Burning
Well ia Two Days and Says That
CUTlCURA Is AMONG
HIS HOUSEHOLD GODS

"God bless tho man who first COM
rnlmdcd Outicura. Some two months
ago Z had a humor break out on my
limbs below my knees. They came ~
look like raw boeisteelS. all red, and no
0nt knows how they itched and burned.
They were SO swollen that 1 had 10
split my drawers open 20 get them on
aid couid not get my shoes on for a
week OF more / used Eve or six dif-
ffranb remedies and got no help, only
when applying them the burning was
worse and the itChing less. One morning
/ remembered that / HAD a bit of Cuti-
cnra and tried II. From the moment
81 touched me the itching was gone and
II have not felt q bit Of il since. The
swelling went down andi two days had
rnY shoes ou and was about as usual.
j only wish ] hg used the Cuticura
Remedies in the .irst Of my troubles.
They would ehaye saved mo two OF
thnse weeks IN Intense suffering. Dur
3nF that time ] did not sleep an hour at
n time but was up applying such
nmadics as j had. HencefOrth the
caiicufa Reoiedies viii be among my
household gods. rest assured. George
B. Ea.iey. 80 South State Sc, Concord,
n. H., Rlay il, 1907
The Guthrie daily leader. [volume] (Guthrie, Okla.) 1893-1996, 1908-06-17
WILL ENDEAVOR TO
STEER MIDDLE COURSE
Senator Long Does Not Expect
TO Satisfy Extremists Of
Either Side
lRx Associated pressl

Chicago, June l7-The committee
on resolutions appointed by the republi-
can convention met in one Of the par
lors of the Auditorium annex hotel at
A D. M. and after listening for some
time to the representatives of numer-
Gus persons who desired 20 secure the
Insertion Of special planks In The plat
form, appointed a subcommittee of i3
to clcur an ,ttsptted questions in detail
and ada the finishing touches Go the
document
Senator A. j Hopkins. of Illinois.
was made chairman Of the committee
and Major John II Lacey. of Iowa, Sec
lretary.
The room was then cleared and The
committee went into executive session.
The only business transacted IN eX-
ecutiye session was the appointment OF
/ a subcommittee which was decided
upon al the beginning OF the session
and which was composed as follows:
Hopkins. Of Illinois, chairman; Long,
Kansas; Crane Massachusetts, Kel-
! llogg, Minnesota; Payne. New York;
/ Adams. North Carolina; Ellis, Ohio:
Crawford, South Dakota; Dalzell, Penn
sylvania; Clark Wyoming; Warner.
I Missouri; Gallinger, Washington
/ Droner, Virginia.
The committee adjourned today to
meet at 4 o'clock today with the un-
lderstanding that at that time the sub
comittee should be prepared to re-
port
The subcommittee went into ses-
sion at 8 O'Clock last night.
The Rocseveit- aft Peticies.
Senator Long of Kansas, who made
the motion during the first session of
the commltte for the appointment of a
subcommittee to consist of g mem
/ bers and who was the first member ap-
pointed by Senator Hopkins, chairman,
said in discussing the platform:
II am going to do everything possi-
/ Bile In the committee to make a plat
form in line with Roosevelt and Taft
Especially as shown by the latter in
/ his speeches preceding this convention.
/ / do not expect we shah make a plat
form satisfactory to the extremists on
either side but ! do believe II viii be
satisfactory to the great body OF re-
lpublicans and that they viii indorse
liC"
senator Long had particular refer
ence TO the much-discussed injunction
question. He stated that il was his be
lief that this plank would merely
4 declare against summary action by
courts without recommending any
thing that would lessen the dignity and
lprerogatives OF the ccnrls as express
ed by long practice.
When be went to the subcommittee
meeting. Senator Long said:
Il do noVibelieye the gravity Of this
platform fight is appreciated Ii is
simply a question OF whether the plat
orm win be along wen known admin
Iistration lines or whether It win be
the platform OF the "allies"
Tbe subcommittee made very little
lprogress with its work last night
The question of the antiinjunctiou
plank received some consideration but
It's final disposition was postponed un-
IN today A poll of the sub-commit-
lee shows that it stands to 4 in favor
lof the inis,hctin plank Mcssrs Hop.
kins, Long Adams. Ellis. Crawford
Kellogg, Warner Baliinger and Dronel
being for, and Messrs Crane, Payne
Dalzel and Clark agaiest