Bismarck daily tribune. [volume] (Bismarck, Dakota [N.D.]) 1881-1916, 1908-04-24


struck the ground from the car. 1t
was the most serious thing that has
happened in Venice since the times of
the council of ten. We almost felt as
IL we were standing on the Bridge of
Signs. Nobody laughed but the man
who had hired the band. and he quit
when he saw the bill. However. we
were given bath in the noble Pacific.
discovered by Balboa several years
ago, fed on a ship and treated as well
as If we had come down to buy prop
erty.
Auto Ride In Riverside.
Friday Riverside, famous in the
beauty show business, called us thith
er, and we went in a special car over
the Salt Lake and were autoed over
about thousand miles Of magnolia
and pepper and palm avenues which
would be worth $40 foot to any town
east of the range. Then we scOoted to
the top Of Rubido mountain and were
given a birdseye view Of more topo-
graphic loveliness than we could pay
for in million years If we got 81
apiece for jokes of any vintage. This
road cost $4,000 and Is Of such grade
that an auto will run from top to bot
tom without using drop Of gasoline
or Jumping the fence single time.
None has ever tried to use gasoline,
but several have tried to jump the
fence. You can't trust an auto. Said
our chauffeur to me-he was promi-
nent citizen-"An auto is just like a
woman-you never can tell what she
will do next" It didn't sound like a
Joke to me, and didn't laugh. After
a minute he said, "But when you get
her going right she beats the world"
Then l laughed, and he said he meant
the auto. All the humorists don't be,
long to the A. P. 81.
| We were fed at the GlenWood tav-
ern, one Of the show hotels Of Califor-
| mia, and struttsd around the place
with our chests puffed out like naughty
millionaires out to buy health at 500
throw. Mr.. Miller, the boss, who is
also an artist and poet was In Europe,
and sighed to think how much liter
| airy atmosphere he was losing River
side has population Of 10000 people
! and several million varieties Of trop-
ical plants, which flourish regardless
Of expense.
Saturday night we took Salt Lake
special for Goldfield and reached that
auriferous spot at midnight Sunday.
being met by committee with bar
rel Of beer on truck. Sunday being
i a sacred day to humorists, we went to
bed to get ready for the Monday do
ings. Goldfield dug up wheelbarrow
| load Of raw material, converted it into
currency and blew itself. We got
right in the draft and stayed there. 1t
was grand-5O cents for an egg and
dollar for bite off the hen!
Somebody else paid the bills, and we
simply wallowed In wealth. They
showed us the town and everything
clean down into the earth for $50 feet.
Millions of dollars In gold were in
sight down there, but 1t was fastened
to the ground, and we were unable to
move 1t. At night grand exhibition
Of smuggling was rendered to the Amer
| lean Humorists of the World" at the
Hippodrome Opera House, with intel
lectual stunts by the visiting humor-
lists between scraps, and the scene beg
CARED description. Goldfield has 25.OO0
population and is the greatest mining
camp in the world One saloon, with
! gambling on the side-al sides-has
been capitalized at 100000 and pays
35 per cent month. The town is on
the desert and the only green spot in
sight is small dooryard which costs
the owner 500 month to keep 1t
green. House rent is whatever fam
lily will pay rather than sleep in the
sand. Girls get 81 day folding pa
!. pers in printing Office. Lady ste
nographers pull $50 a week. with
chances to speculate in mines, and two
of them have accumulated $4,000
each. The dust is SO thick that when
the wind raises 1t they have to blow
1T away with dynamite Bootblacks
charge 20 cents q shine and have to
pay 10 cents shovelful to remove the
dust before applying the polish. ne
Everything in town is wide open ex.
cept the churches. It's bully place
to be when the luck is right, and
everybody seems to think that the luck
will come his way, If 1t hasn't already
Go to Goldfield. It's a warm baby
And you should see the town.
Reception In Salt Lake.
Tuesday morning at we got away
for Salt Lake City-at least the rem
nants of lis did, for the party had
broken up somewhat-and we struck
: that well known place at noon mex,
: day. We were received by the Herald
md other newspaper men and moved
out to Great Salt lake to take the
freshness off our jokes. Salt Lake
, City is handsomer than Los Angeles
: though very different and not half &C
big and busy. At night we had din
ner at the beautiful Alta club and
: once again felt that the humorist had
much to be thankful for.
Somewhere, some time, we held Z
meeting for business and elected
Frank T. Starlight of Los Angelo.