The sun. [volume] (New York [N.Y.]) 1833-1916, 1908-09-27
LONELINESS or Mr.. CNAGG
HE SEEKS INTELLECT AND
MRS. .GNAGG. ONLY GRINS,

HE SEEKS INTELLECT AMI
MRS. .GNAGG, ONLY GRINS,
Or what 10 Verse, Yawns or Asks n He
Has Brought Home the Dogs Liver
and the Bird seed-Nhat Of II 10
He DSesn't Read High Grade BoOksl
Mr.. Gnagg. Grating TO Mrs. Gnagg upon
the political issues Of the period. discerns
In her manner a certain lack Of interest.
which causes him TO revert TO a standing
grievance as follows:
Oh. you're yawning, are your Well.
les a wonder you wouldn't have the
common oivility to try TO screen oil dis
semble your yswns, anyhow.
But. pshawi ! might have expected
you TO yawn. Yawning is about tho
naturalist and outest little thing you
do whenever I try to lift the o Of this
establishment about three-quarters Of
an inch above the consideration OF what
you're going to have for dinner or whether
you'd better wash that internal bark
ing mutt OF yours with tar soap or scented
shampoo stuff.
All the same, you might have the man
ners, not to say the policy, at least to
pretend to be half way interested when
your husband pays you the compliment
to attempt to enlighten you With refer
enoe to current Affairs. Positively you
appear to have no interest whatever
in any except the sordidest affairs OF
every day life. | need not tell you. I
hope. that this Is q source Of the pro-
foundest ohagrin. not to say perturba-
ton, to me
How's that2 There's no need for me
to get so solemn and ponderous over
iti Oh, there isn't. hey?
Now, see here. I resent that. I resent
it .keenly. I should think you would
be heartily ashamed OF yourself to let
fly a crack like that when my only pur-
pose has beer to improve and help you.
That's II, 60 ahead aud grin like q chessy
cat. Keep right on grinning and show
ing yourself up.
What's that? You're only laughing
that | should. take 1t 81 seriously because
you don't manifest an Astounding interest
In trusts and tariff reform and all that?
Well. that's like you-like all women:
dodge and squirm and wriggle around
and crawfish and sidetrack to the oblique
path and all that.
It's not my business, OF course, nor
lie It my desire to reproach you for not
having a mind above millinery and fancy
work and the pelt diseases Of CANNES.
and all that sort Of stuff. When a man
makes his bed, matrimonially or other
wise. he's supposed to lie In it, and l don't
have to leave It to you whether I've been
game or not. whether I've taken my
medicine like a little man.
II you were a woman who ver gave a
thought to such things you'd be able to
perceive with half an eye that your hus-
band simply is ~shriveliing up mentally
for the lack Of the proper sort OF intel
Iectual companionship, You are content
to cast your mental life on n plane with
that Of the groundlings, aud you expect
me to do the same.
ooh; 60 ahead and giggle G~iggling's
your forte. Giggle your head OF. But
I'm speaking tbs truth, and you know Il.
and you're merely taking one Of o woman's
ways Of tending Oh the truth by doing that
tit tering stunt.
enough. l suppose, for example. that
whenever l strike q conversational note
aroun1 here that's half an inch above
the squalid affairs that occupy your ex-
elusive attention you don't yawn in my
face, or begin to tap your toe, or start
to, feed that DANCED bird, or pet the mutt,
or something like that. hey? Deny that.
II you can!
Perhaps you'll be telling me that you
didn't 60 sound asleep when I read
sThanatopsis' to you the other nightl
Yes. sound asleep, and. yes. bling, YOU
wen snored-yes. snoredl
hate to say it. Really, there was a
time in my life, whether you elect to be-
lieve II or not. when nobody could have
convinced me that women-nice women
OF course I mean-did such a shocking
thing as to snore. / need not tell you, I
hope, how perfectly amazed and dis
appointed l was when first I heard you
snore. It certainly pulled the skids from
beneath n Of my big illusions all right
enough.
Huh? OF course I snore. Why not?
There you 60 again. Why shouldn't a
man snore? Who expects a man not TO
snore? Who finds anything shocking or
disagreeable in the sound Of a mans
SHORES? That's expected Of men. It's
one Of their privileges.
But you're like all the rest OF the pam-
pered and overindulged American women
you've got to the point where you de-
mand not only the prerogatives which
naturally belong to women but the privi-
leges which M naturally inhere solely to men.
You want to beat the game both ends from
the middle. coming and going, and be-
logged IL you don't come pretty nigh
doing it, at that. come to think Of 1t.
But. look a-here. don't work that old
dodge Of yours. please, Of trying to side
track me whenever ! get on a certain line
Of conversation. I was endeavoring to
tell you how mortifed-worse than that.
how hurt-I was when the other night
you went sound asleep on me when ! was
reading -Thanatopsis- aloud to you.
Huh2 1t was late, and we had been to
the theatre, and you were tired and sleepy,
and -Tbanatopsis' Is so rumbly when
read aloud that it always did make you
sleep. and you couldn't help 1t?
Oh. certainly! You never can help
anything, It's not a matter OF helping.
though. It's that you don't care a hang.
You've got to that stage. arrived at sooner
mr. latar lp eli o,arriaJ -1n,o1 In thia