The Washington herald., 1908-01-19


Bias and the Bishop game. and now
he's done; the last heard Of him was
that he was taking a course In medical
training in Georgetown Hospital. and
was safeguaTded from further attack
by the OdOr Of idorfOrm. tell you. JOB.
it's a great thing 10 be in a position
where they can't strike back.
BY the way, Job, I've been reading
up the Thaw trial They've found out
what's the matter with the young man
at last. They found a man who'd seen
him bite his fnger-nails at school. and
so they're sure that he's got a dis
ease called 'stup0rOus melanchOlia'
SinceI heard that and remembered how
you get melancholy sometimes when
you think Of the tradesmen's bills. and
how you always want to sleep. I've
been wondering II you've got Il, too. I
don't care If you have. deaT I'm not
to have you sent TO any asylum. You're
not much Of a husband. but any old
husbands better than none
And say, Job, don't forget. viii you.
that ST. Valentines Day is coming
pretty close to hand. and / DO wish
you'd send me a real valentine-one or
those all covered with silver lace and
with a picture in the middle. I saw
beauty in the shop window the other
day with a verse:
come 70 yo1 dearest 70 Prove
That nay loye is not q shine,
/ send y0u ali Of my heart
In this thirty-Cent art Valentine
wasn't 1t sweet? / saw lot Of those
comic ones, too. but I just hate them.
You remember some one sent me one
last year. a picture Of a talking ma
chine. As if 1 talk.
7 see. job, that the Pullman COM
pany is TO change the price Of its
berths, and make a difference between
the uppers and the lowers. / really
think they ought TO pay people some
thing for sleeping In an upper berth
its not the sleeping. though, it's get
ting undressed. 1 never could get my
shirt of properly in that trip we took
to Urbana, O.. and one night ] just
had ID sleep in it, Aunt Molly had
an upper, right opposite me, and when
she tried 10 Wriggle out Of her corset
she Just naturally fell out on the fi00r.
She came down with an awful bump;
woke everybody in the car and she
sued the company for damages. but they
said something about 'contri3utary
negIige," and she didn't get any money
say. Job. I don't want 10 say anything
harsh while you're sick, but / can't
help mentioning the fact that woman
in Detroit has just sold her husband
for $500. Just think Of that. won
der what you'd fetch in the open mar
kct? Talking about Washington news
1 see that Mai. Sylvester says that the
police force is too small, ard that he
can't prevent the hold-up men from
working. When you get up and around
again. Job. I wish you'd be careful.
knowing that you have no protection;
not that you really need 1t. for if any
hold-up man can ever find anything
in your pockets he'll be doing more
than ever did And did you notice
that al last the Commissioners have
granted a license 10 the Union station
so that it can sell liquor2 ItH be the
biggest saloon in the whole world, I
reckon.
Speaking about the time Of year do
you know. Job. that If you wasn't In
government employ you'd have FIVE pay
days next month, Isn't il awful and
We need it so. If you could just bring
in an extra pay day now and then We
might get along. Everything's going
I'D again I see The price of peanuts
has been raised 1 see, so I reckon wel
have 70 stay away from the circus this
summer. and the BARRIERS announce that
they're going TO raise the price Of
shayes Mauy's the time I've known
you. Job. when you couldn't raise the
price Of a shave, and have had to come
to me and borrow ii out of the market-
ing money. ] don't see why YOU don't
shave yourself as YOU used TO. Only,
If you do get razor. don't get one Of
them safety things; I like the other
kind best, they're so nice TO CIT your
corns with. We've got to economize
somehow. I wish We were Ike the toad
they found out in Indiana that hasn't
had a meal for a hundred years. II We
could live like that wouldn't it sim.
plify housekeeping? I don't see why
some enterpTisinp man doesn't make a
collection of these interesting animals.
There's that toad. for instance, and out
in Ohio they've got a hen that chews
tobacco. and IN Galleon, o., there was
a collie dog that ate up the pr7Clama-
tion Of the mayor, so that he couldn't
speak. and In Kentucky there was a
goat that died after eating a copy %
the Presidents uessaBe-di=d from
overfeeding ] suppose. 7 should think
it'd make a real interesting side-sh0w.
What's that Job-feel sleepy again.
Tor. I clean forgot that other poultice.
What shall I do? The OatmesTs all
gone. I'll have to use GTape-O-See. and
don't know how it'll hold the heat. I'm
So sorry you don feel any better, job
just when we are having such a nice time
and you were so interesting. too. But
haven't told you half I was going to-
about the other Muley whose taken
charge in Morocco. and the street
sweepers In Washington who want more
pay, and that silly preacher who said
that women were a flock of caCkling
parrots-parrots. indeed. If ] talked as
much as some preachers. but Well-you
know never speak i'll Of any one be-
hind their backs I always was too
good natured, Yes, Job, dear you
take your medicine and III go and get
the poultice and then yoIi may go TO
sleep. Now, please don't drink up lit
tie Haley's paregOric while I'm gone,
will your"