The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-04-05

collect those leather bags and get
ready to trot around wherever that
long-legged old lunatic led the way.
They've changed the time on that
train of yours. Sir Peter" says l. 'She
don't come along until ten-twenty-siX
now. spring schedule" and l winks an
eye loose at DanVers.
Pom my world" says Sir Peter,
you here yet? Danvers. show this
person to the gates
Yes, sir" says Danvers. He comes
up to me an whispers, kind of ugly:
Il sye now, you'll ave to stop chaffin'
Sir Peter l won't ave it,"
Help" says l. There's rat after
me-
Hill bash yer bloomin' nose in"
says he, settin' pink behind the ears.
"Hi'Il write to the bloomin' pypers
habOut it if you do says l.
l was wishin' that would fetch him,
and it did. He comes al me wide open.
with a guard like a SOft-shell crab.
slips down the state room passage, out
of sight of Sir Peter, catches Danvers
by the scruff, chucks him into a berth
and ties him up with the sheets as
careful as if he was to go by express.
Now make all the holler you want,
says l. 1T won't disturb US none,
and [ shut the door.
sition. 1 didn't want to rough house
him. He was too ancient and any
way. l kind of liked the old chaps
looks He'd forgot all about Danvers
and was maxim figures on an enVelop
when | got back. 1 let him figure
away, until all of q sudden he puts up
his pencil and Jugs ont that bucket
again.
It's quit raining" says l.
What do you know about it?" says
he Its pouring decimals, just pour
ing 'em. But I've got TO get my report
in" With that he claps on the buck
ct grabs a bag and starts for the car
door.
1t was up to me to make a quick
play; for he was just ripe to go but
tin around those tracks and run afOul
of a switch engine. And / hated to
collar him. Just then 1 spots the ten
mis- ball
"Whoop-eei'' says 1. grabbin it up
and slammin' it at his head. l made
a bulls eye on the pail too. That's
land 1 gets two more cracks
for my nickel" He tried to
dodge; but l slammed it at him a
couple more times. Your turn now,
SAYS l. Gimme the bucket
Sounds foolish, don't it? I'll bet it
looked a heap foolisher than it sounds;
but I'd Just thought of something fell
Ter told me once. He was a young doe
tor in the bat ward at Bellevue.
They're a good deal like kids, says
he, land if you remember that, you
can handle 'em easy
And say, Sir Peter seemed to look
tickled and interested. The first thing
1 knew he'd chucked the bucket on my
head and was doin' a war dance, lam
| haStn' that tennis ball at me to beat
/ the cars. 1t was working all right.
When he got tired of that l organ
/ lied a shiny game, with an umbrella
and d cane for sticks, and couple of
wicker chairs for goals. He took 20
| that too. First he shed his frOck coat
| then his vest, and after awhile we got
down to our undershirts 1t was a
/ hot game from the word go. There
want any halfway business about
/ Sir Peter When he started out to
drive a goal through my legs he
/ whacked good and strong and often.
/ My shins looked like a BARRIERS pole
afterwards; but l couldn't squeal
/ then. There was no way to luck pun
! ishment but to get the bail into his
territory and make him guard goal.
/ 1t want such a cinch to do, either.
| for he was a lively old gent on his
pins.
After about half an hour of that,
you can bet 1 wished I'd stuck to the
| bucket game But Sir Peter was as
excited over it as a boy with a new
pair of roller skates. He wouldn't
stand for any change of program, and
] he wouldn't stop for breathin' spells.
| Rufus Rastus came out of his coop
once to see what the row was all
/ about; but when he saw us mixed up
| in a scrimmage for goal. he says:
Good Lawd er mighty" lets out one
yell and shuts himself up with his
| canned soup and copper pans. l guess
Danvers thought | was draggin' has
boss around by the hair: for I heard
| him yelp once in awhile, but he
couldn't get loose.
Sir Peter began to leak all over his
| head, and his gray hair got mussed
/ up, and his eyes was bulgin out; but
! l couldn't get him switched to any
thing else. Not much, Skinny was q
new game to him, and he was stuck
on it. 'Whee-yee!' he'd yell, and
swing that crook-handled cane. and
bang would go a fancy gas globe into
a million pieces. But a little thing
| like that didn't faze him. He was out
for goals, and he wasn't particular
what he hit as long as the ball was
kept moving.
1t was a hot pace he set, all right
Every time he swung l had to jump
| two feet high. or else get it on the
shins. And say! / jumped when !
could. I'd have given a sable-lined
overcoat for a pair of leg-guards just
/ about then; and if [ could have haC
that young bugward doctor to myself
! for about ten minutes-well he'd have
learned something they didn't tell him
| at Bellevue.
Course. | don't keep up regular ring
trainin' these days; but I'm generally
fit for ten rounds or so any old time
l thought l was in good trim then
! until that dippy old snOozer had
rushed me for about twenty-five goals
Then l began to breathe hard and
| wish some one would ring the gong on
him. There was no counting on Wher
Mr.. Gordon would show up; but his
footsteps wouldn't have made me sad
I've let myself in for some joy stunts
| in my time; but this gettin tangled
up with bad dream that had come
tTue-well, that was the limit. And
I'd started out to do something rea1
cute. You could have bought me for q
bunch of pink trading stamps
And just as I was wondering if this