davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20
BY GEO. V. HOBART, ("HUeH M'HueH.")

Dear Bunch: In that crowd of swift
drummer boys going New Yorkward in
the Mr.. Pullman's sleep-wagon yester-
day, one of the speediest was Buck
Jones.
Bucks wife and a three-year-old
were travelling with him, but he wasn't
giving it out through a megaphone.
Buck is one of those goose-headed
guys who begin to scratch gravel and
start in to make killing every time
they see pretty girl.
Across the aisle seat sat two pet
canaries from Plainfield, N J.
They were members of the Sou
brette Singing society, and they were
en- route to the west to join the Bunch
of Birds Burlesque Company"
Their names were Mile and Tillie,
and they wore Merry Widow hats, and
did sister act that contained more
bad grammar than an East Side pin
ochle game.
Millie was fully aware that she
could back Duse off the map, and Til
lie was ready to bet weeks salary
that she could make Bernhard feel
like she was out in the storm we had
day before yesterday.
Slim called them the Roast-Beef
Sisters, Rare and Well-Done.
In minute the castors on Buck S
neck began to turn
Slim put us wise with a wink, so we
lit the fire and began to cook it up.
Bucks heart was warming for the
birds in the gilded cage.
'The real Kibo!" said Slim; cts a
plain case of Appomattox; the war is
over and they are yours, Buck!"
Buck turned a few more volts into
his twinkling lamps.
Lower your mail-sail, Buck, and
drop alongside; you've made the land
ing" suggested Burress.
Buck began to feel his necktie and
play patty-cake with the little bald
spot on the top of his head.
stop the hanson and get out;
/ you're at your corner" said Dave.
The Sweet Dreams across the way
were giving Buck the glorious eye
roll, and he felt like dinner was ready.
Hang up your hat, Buck, and gather
the myrtle with Nary" 1 Clipped in.
Then Buck bounced over and be-
gan to show Mile and Tillie what a
handsome brute he was at close quar-
tiers.
He sat on the arm of the seat and
warmed up.
In less than a minute he crowded
the information on them that he was
a millionaire, who had escaped from
Los Angeles, Cal, and he was just 60
ing to put them both in grand opera,
when his three-year-old toddled down
the aisle and grabbed him by the coat
tail:
Papa! Mamma wants 90 to Diet my
bottle of milk"
"Stung!" shrieked Slim.
Back to the nursery!" howled NAL
colin, and then as Buck crawled away
to home and mother we let out yell
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20

Their Names Were Mile and Tillie.
that caused the conductor to think
the train had struck a Wild West
show.
During the rest of the trip Buck
was nailed to his seat.
Every time he tried to use the elas-
tic in his neck, the wife would burn
him with hard, cold glitter.
The Roast-Beef Sisters seemed to
be all carved up about something or
other.
The drummers went back to the
shop, and were selling things again
when Sledgeheimer futtered down
among us.
Maybe you've never met Jakey
Sledgeheimer!
He travels for firm in Brooklyn
that makes imitation grapefruit and
rubber finan haddie.
Jakey is the LATEST loosener that
ever tied string around a roll.
The boys call him putty because
he's the next thing to pane.
He's such a stingy loosener that he
looks at you with one eye SOS not to
waste the other.
If you ask Sledgeheimer what time
it is he takes off four minutes as his
commission for telling you.
"Slim," said Sledgeheimer to Arthur
Shaw, edo you smoker"
1t was Knockout.
In the annals of the road no one
could look back to the proud day when
Sledgeheimer had coughed.
Once, so the legend runs, he gave
a porter nickel, but it was afterward
discovered that Sledgeheimer was
asleep, and not responsible at the
time, so the porter gave it back.
Sledgeheimer tried to collect three
cents interest for the time the porter
kept the nickel, and the conductor had
to punch his mileage and his nose be-
fore he'd let go.
And now Sledgeheimer had asked
Slim if he smoked!
Slim was pale but game.
"Sometimes!" he answered.
do you like goot seegar?" queried
Sledgeheimer.
We looked for the engine to hit a
cow any minute now.
"Sure!" said Slim. weak all over.
''Vell," said Sledgeheimer, here is
my brudder-in-law's card. He makes
dot Grass Widow seegar on Sigsth
Avenue. Gift him call und mention
my name. He will be glat to see you,
yet"
Then Sledgeheimer went away back
RnS sat down.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20
ON THE
DRlJMM En-
BOYS

The laugh was on Slim, so he dared
us all into the cafe, and after he got
busy with the button we all voted in
favor of Monticello highball.
After we had dampened our thi.sts,
Bill Burress showed us how Hammer
stein would Americanize "Bingen on
the Rhine" Bill called it der EN-
pre- in honor of the Empire State
Express, Frank Westerton said. eng
lish joke-rottenD This is how Bill
spelled it:
An Empire of der Big League lay
dying, full NIT fears; dare vas lack of
players nursing; aber nit of players
tears, but cop policeman watched him
vile his life's bleed ebbed away, und
bent NIT pidying glances to hear vot
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20
Therefore, Be Thankful.

Neither the ancient league Of the
Amphictyons, the federation Of the
Achaens, the union of the Lycians, nor
the modern confederacies of Europe
still dominated by the ideas and ira
ditions of the past, are comparable
with the new and glorious spectacle
of this American republic. founded in
justice, upheld by virtue and intelli-
gence, and crowned with a banner in
the ample folds of which is written
the story of human progress, its en-
blazonry of stars proclaiming the di-
vine right Of liberty in man.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20

W. about this country to-day
CD with which even a good
natured person can find fault. But a
cursory contrast of the condition of
the country as it was then and as it
is now shows vast general improve
ment.
To begin with, Thanksgiving day,
1865, found the country as yet prac-
tically unaddressed to the problem of
getting over the frightful struggle
that had rent and torn and well-nigh
disrupted it. Not only were the
wounds of sectional ill-feeling still
open and unhealed, but most of the in
dustries of one great section were still
practically Frustrated.
The readjustment of the country
business, difficult always after great
war, but doubly so after the civil war,
because of the enormous imitation to
which the currency had been subject
ed, was yet to be undertaken.
Most important agencies in the new
the United States since 1865 have been
furnished by the tremendously inn
proved means of communication and
transportation. Most folk accept it to-
day as a matter of course. To the
younger generation it seems like an in
stitution that has always existed, with
out which, no matter how much fault
may be found with it's rates, the bust
ness of the country could not well go
on. But while there were about $4,000
miles of railroad in 1865, there are
more than four times that many to-
day, or about 215,00O, more than seven
miles for every 100 square miles of
territory.
Then, as the old heads remember
very well, there was no steel highway
linking the coast of the Atlantic with
the coast of the Pacific. Then there
were three ways by which one wish
ing to travel from New York or Bos-
ton or Washington, to San Francisco
or Portland, could do so: Overland by
a combination of rail to the Missis-
sippi, and stage coach and horseback
westward from the river, journey re-
Quiring many days; by steamer or
sailing ship around the Horn, a voy-
age of months; or by steamer to the
Isthmus CT Panama (they called it
Darien, them across on the Panama
railroad, and thence by steamer again
up the coast to San Francisco.
1t cost several hundred dollars to
get from one side of the country to
the other, then. Now, at the lowest
rate, you may travel from one ocean
to the other for $50; the highest rate,
unless you wish to go on private or
special cara veritable palace on
wheels-is $115.75. This includes sep
ing car, birth and meals.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20
All Three Fell Before His Trusty Rifle.

car in spite of his verbal and fistic
protests, and the turkeys were hand
ed over to the hotel proprietor and his
cook to be prepared for the grand
public dinner.
The short winter day came to an
end and darkness fell upon the plain,
hardly whitened by the snow that had
melted as fast as it had fallen. Sud-
denly there was great excitement and
confusion at the hotel. Nothing was
to be found of the cook or of the tur-
keys which had been roasting for
hours in the oven of the hotel range
The chef had been bribed in advance
by willy Ashtonian, and with the
first shades of night he had stolen
away, figuratively and literally, with
the turkeys already done to a turn.
At Ashton all went merrily. The
oyster supper began decorously, but
when plates bearing small but in
dubitably genuine slices of turkey,
and generous helpings of dressing
flanked by quivering masses of GRIM
son cranberry jelly, were swiftly
passed down the long table, a wild,
exultant shout went up that lifted the
roof of the frail hotel structure and
shattered the silence of Dakota night
outside.
Among the unspeakable crimes Of
the great west that are still shrouded
in mystery is the bribing of tho hotel
cook. The briber possibly still: lives
in luxury, with his secret all his own;
in some kitchen far away may still
preside the chef who accepted his cor
rupting fund.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

by local applications, they cannot reach the dis
eased portion of the There Is only one way
deafness, and that is by constitutional remedies.
Deafness is caused by an infamed condition of tho
mucous lining of the Eustachian Tube. When this
tube is infamed you have rumbling sound or i'm
perfect hearing and when it is entirely closed Deaf
is the esult, and unless the Inflammation be
taken out and this tube restored to its normal cond
ton hearing will be destroyed forever; n1ne cases
out of ten caused by Catarrh, which is nothing
but nhamed condition of the mucous surfaces
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any case OF
Deafness Caused by catarrh) that cannot be cured
by Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for circulars, free.
F. j. CHENEY & CO.. Toledo O,
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20
1T DID,,

Mr.. Holesale-So old Pepperpot Nad
a kick coming on that last bill of
goods, Ell? Wouldn't that make gu
sore?
Mr.. Litewate (the salesman lit dill
me, sir. He kicked me out.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20

To show a more excellent way is a
better plan for correcting faults than
fault-fnding and criticism.-Helps.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20
SS0
821(g

Give us the heart to understand
The graciousness of spreading trees;
The changing seasons, wisely planned.
The storm and sunshine-all Of these.
For all the brightness of the dawn,
And cheerfulness of noon and night;
And all that joy is builded on
Give us the grace to see Alright.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20
Divine and Benign Goodness.

No sentient can return thanks for
anything else than absolute goodness
nor to anyone but recognized good
giver. Gods surname, which is indel-
IDLY written on the tablet of humanity,
is Goodness. And to the divine and
benign goodness the true heart eter-
nally comes and life forever whispers:
In the center of the circle
OF the love of God I stand;
There can be no second causes
All must come from His dear hand.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20

Mrs. Windows Soothing Syrup.
For children teeth,ng, sofens the gums reduces In.
hammston, allays pain, cures wind collie 25c bottle.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20
3&NlL9

Let us remember each kind word
By weight Of goodly feeling blest.-
Each gentle thing we've said or heard
And blot from memory the rest.
Give us the grace to see and know
The benefits along the way
The many things that help us so.
Let US be thankful every day.
Chicago Tribune.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20

The charity that begins at home Ii
generally too weak to travel.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20

Tact is one of a business mans
most important assetA
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20

Let us be glad for snowy plain
That holds them in their winter sleep.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20

HE celebration of Thanks
giving day 40 years ago,
in 1866, was the first after
the close of the civil war.
There are some things
about this country to-day
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-11-20
WORTHY OF FLAG SHE CARRIED.

Copyright, 1908, by G. w. Dillingham; Coz
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22
Trust Forces Beg For Taft.

Chicago, Oct. Is. The Repubi-
can National Committee is sending
out letter asking for cash contri-
buttons" in which the declaration
is made that the election of Judge
Taft and James S. Sherman is eS-
sential to the welfare of the coun-
try"
The letter is of interest by reason
of the character of the men whose
names appear on the letterhead,
and who make this appeal. Here
are the men who sign the letter in
forming the people of the country
that Bryans election will be dan
gerouS:
Charles F. BroOker, head of the
Brass Trust and vice president of
the New York. New Haven & Hart
ford Railroad, against which a gov
eminent suit is now pending in the
Federal courts.
CharleSe Nagel. of Missouri, one
of the general attorneys of the
Standard Oil Company. This Stan
dard Oil representation is in charge
of Republican national campaign
headquarters in Chicago.
Frank o. LOwden. multimilliOn
aire. son-in-law of the late GeOrgt
H. Pullman, and now the head o.
the great Pullman Palace Ca
Trust, to which the travelling public
pays tribute.
7. Coleman Du Pont. head OF thu
Powder Trust. which is fighting
suit against dissolution.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22
Wallace Asks Votes for Cowherd.

Wallace Asks Votes for Cowherd.
Monet, Mo-, Oct. II. In passing
through Monet from Mount Vernon
Judge William H, Wallace, of Kan
sas City, was induced to stop off in
Monet and deliver an address at
the Opera House He spoke for an
hour and a half and was vigorously
applauded, He predicted the cleo
ton of Bryan and the entire State
ticket. He said that he was per-
sonally acquainted with both Cow
herd and Hadley, and had no heSi-
tency in advising his hearers to
vote for Cowherd.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Why should our Republican
friends desire to conceal their cam
paisn contributors if not for the
purpose of keeping the people in
the dark as TO the people and cor
pOrations which contribute and the
large sum to be used.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Boise PenroSe, the political boss"
of the corrupt political machine in
Pennsylvania.
George r. Sheldon, the personal
representative of j. Pierpont Nor
gan. in the capacity of director in
all his trust companies, and who
collected trust money for the cleo
ton of Governor Hughes, of New
York.
William Nelson Cromwell, the
legal representative of Edward H.
Hartman, and probably the great
est trust lawyer in the United
States.
Fred w. Upham, the fat fryer
for the Republican party in the
West, and the man who wrote let
tiers to corporations whose property
he assessed by virtue of his posi-
ton as member of the Board o.
Review in Chicago.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22
Notion |
Specials.
Good quality Hooks and Eyes, 2;
dozen for
SC.
Table Clothes, all linen. frinsed, a

Table Clothes, all linen. frinsed, a
bargain, per cloth Sis.
FLANNELETTES. just the thing
for Fall Dresses and Waists. A
number of pieces of IL 1-2 and 15c
goods to clean up at 10c yard.
One lot all silk ribbons. No. 100
wide, while they last 10c yard,
worth double.
Wire hair rolls with side combs,
worth SOC. Sale price 29c each.
One lot corset cover embroidery,
worth 25c. Sale price 15c yard
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

w. B, Fahy win speak at Hatch
next Saturday 7,S0 p. m. And at
Big Greek at $50 p. m. next Mon
day.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

The Republican party has done
great things for the people. Its
leaders, like Lincoln and Grant, we
all reverence and love. Unfortu-
nately the Republican party today
is controlled by Joe Cannon. Aid
rich, Hopkins VanCleve and others
of their ilk They should be repu-
dated and cast out so that the
party of Lincoln and Grant may be
restored 70 the people. Buffalo ON
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Missouri will do herself proud by
electing Cowherd by majority of
$4,000.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Rufe Christian of Palmyra, was
with Monroe friends Tuesday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Frank Crow and wife of Paris
were with Monroe friends Saturday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Mrs. Edward COlman is visiting
in North Platt, Neb.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Frank Bunch, of Hannibal, has
been with friends in this city.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Miss Floy Greenwich of Lakenan.
has been the guest of Mrs. W. B.
Spalding.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

John Jarman, of Hannibal spent
Tuesday with relatives in this
city.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Mrs. J. S. Scott was with Quincy
friends, Monday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Mrs. Abe Byrd of Quincy has
been with Monroe relatives.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Help get out the Democrat vote
on Nov. 8.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Mesdames W, D. and Joseph
Foster have been with Hannibal
friends.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Mrs. Edward Feeney, of Ely was
a visitor in this city, Tuesday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Mesdames w. B. Spalding and
Allie Robey have been with Alton,
NJ, friends.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Miss Phoebe Kincaid left Mon
day for SANTIAGO. Cal, to spend the
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Miss Matte Goodnight is visiting
relatives ia PaImyra.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

"An the robberies committed by
all of the insurance companies in
all times in the past does not
amount to one-fifth of the robberieS
committed under the Dingley law
in one single year"
Who said that. Bryant No
Stone or DOckery? No. nllmani
No. The late governor Altgeldi
No, 1t is taken from a speech de
hvered by Gov. CumminS the Re
publican governor of Iowa, : Forum
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Let us make Cowherd's majority
$4,000.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Mrs. W. E. Vowel is with rela-
tives at Ely.
James T. Elliott and wife went
to Shelbina Tuesday to visit friends.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

George McGlaSson is very ill. 1t
is thought that the end is only a
few hours away.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

A. X. Rutledge was a business
visitor in Hannibal, Monday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

r. o. Cranston, wife and Master
Bob went to Louisiana, Tuesday.
Mrs. Cranston and son to visit and
the head of the family to duck
hunt.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

IL. Akers and wife, of Paris
are visiting the family of H. c.
Null.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

E. E. Yates, of Hannibal has been
the guests of his father, T. j. Yates
and family.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Mrs. j. E. Forest of Hannibal, is
visiting the family of DR.. w. B. A.
McNutt.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

w. B. and Jefferson Hays took in
the gun club shoe; al Marceline,
Tuesday.
Monroe City Democrat. (Monroe City, Mo.) 1888-1919, 1908-10-22

Rev. W. W. Laughlin and j, S
Scott attended a State Baptist
Association at Moberly this week.
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-02-01
THE GRoucHY TOURIST.


oft n nothing worth
them Niagara Yosemite
and much formerly
is
the hotel exorbtant This invites the
masterpieces Thou
without people
that
climb guides baksheesh,
They can't be driven
thing legitimate possible
complaint
local about be removed by the neland by
it win be
o for at rail-.
familiar with liquid bubblg
audn devils laboratory the the
reflected beetlng all
display
advertising it if exhibition
vain expected bitter the difference between the
journey
emitting
upings all him;
and hundrs6 things all wider
this of itself
that he has promsed Is wise him
with constitutional
protest
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-02-01
GAMBLING AND CIVIC GROWTH.

city OPEN
and that Monte Carlo IS d
model for flourish, faby seek hghe
in tie history of that Of Monte Carlo lse
schenectady
Vncennes the border outpost
ard showing little until their awessness ceased
viii be of educational value 70
Deadwood Leadve Butte ana
Everything "en
bhs gambling a In other words they acquired
OF growth and prosperity wh
take And with what RESULT hese
without stability without guaran
without other attraetven
which brought people together
and those who happened to De decent
towards making their towns
Neither Hayes City Deadwood Butte
anything until the
the resorts
advertised far and that they were
Precisely the thing occurred in California
until honest citizens had
have been free since
and growth have
gambling full command of
he
gamblers drunkard and sports They
whose of life
honorable ideals high
build gambling basis and
Carlo the favorite example of people
quickly whole prineipaiy of Monaco
capital including portions eeded France has
onlya Monte
little for Monte
would Honolulu call
residents and forego the prospect
of recruiting any, 50 IS o tourists a spreea
The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-02-01
RAILROADS AND THE PRESS.

bill
exchange of
table and legitimate
their have not supplied
example,
this the overland
charged credits the railroad
the of
This Legitimate
setting needless
affected by mainland advertising
all reputable journals with the same
ndence.