The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-29


HUNOR OF THE DAY
The mil l stood before her nervously
s swifin Hfer MS hat in his hands; So she
Yes. madam; You sent for me- believe,
found a ,minnow in the milk yesterday
Htnornlng. Il am sorry, madam; but IL
stead of from the trough. 1 cannot help
t'-HarDer's Weekly.
In Oriental countries man has as
m wives as he can support" As many
why not sHu try isS miliineTsr0NasSViIle
American.
Fond Mother-Bobby. dear, you've for
gotten your toothbrush. Bobby-But I
thought L was going on a vacation
Have you read any of the recent fic-
In Dumas. forty years ago."-Boston
Traveller.
Elizabeth-Are you fond of motoring?
Mary-Oh. yes, indeed, and the constant
oSculation doesn't bother me a bit.-The
Editor-It may. Of course happen to any
that's no reason why he should write a
book!-Fliegende Batter.
calling names don't make anv real diff
ference" said the conservative campaign
er NO" answered the scientist IF it
on germs would have discouraged them
long ago.'-Washington Star.
Mother Qndignantly)-You naughty boy!
stop pulling T that poor cats tail. Little
holding it. The cat is doing the puiiing
herself.-St. Louis Republic.
"Ysobel. do you think you could learn
Maltravers. could give lessons in loving
you!'-Modern Society.
The old landlord of a small country inn
was sitting nstlessly before the fire in the
bar. parlor when the door opened and a
loud-voiced young fellow exclaimed: Hal
loa. .grandad! Get your frame in circuia-
woman! l want accommodation for man
and beast" where's the man?'' asked
the old landlord in flash.-Tit-Bits.
There goes a man who has never spok-
oughby Fine ? Who he is he? ASKED ad Gor
rlngton. He's a deaf and dumb old
bachelor named Harkaway," said viii
He-Could you marry a man, my dear
Maude; whom you knew to be your in
| ferior in every way; a man with no snap.
no go to him. no energy, no past to speak
void of more than ordinary brains, a
mollycoddle and a. She-My dear.
George. what is the use of beating about
is more will. for in spite of all love
you. dear."-Harper's Weekly.
Trotter-when young Biffkins left COL
| lege few years ago he declared he was
he make good? Homer-As a forger, yes.
He's now occupying a front row cell in
the neutrality-suspicious. Daily News.
whats he doing now7" 'Lecturing on
all declined."-Cleveland P1ain-Dealer.
Chief of Detectives-Now give us a de-
scription of your missing cashier. How
tall was he? Business Mani don't know
how tall he was. What worries me is that
he was $4,000 short.-Philadelphi Rec
ord.
coliegeg' s Pd Ne He would On have
made the scrub team his Is, first year II he
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
First Actor-what luck did you have in
the town? Second Actor--They threw rot
ten apples at us every night. First Actor
We'll; a any rate, you can feel that your
one.-Harper's Weekly.
$50 you cling to that childish supersti-
ton about thirteen. being unlucky," said
the traveller. Yes" answered the other.
eff fway sproved Ths
country started with thirteen colonies"
Very true. But L an Englishman.
Washington Star.
your family seem to enjoy going to
Europe" Yes" answered Mr. CumroX,
Mother and the girls have observed that
am weak on getting the value of foreign
money. Things are ordered and paid for
before have time to make any intelligent
inquiries as to the expense. "-Washington
Star.
You're liar!" exclaimed the first man.
You're another!' retorted number two.
Calm yourselves. gentlemen" interpOsed
the peacemaker, at is quite possible that
you are both right. "-Philadelphia In
quirer.