Sequachee Valley news. (Sequachee [Sequatchie], Tenn.) 1896-1952, 1908-05-07
GanderbOne's May Forecast.
Copyright BY c. II. RietA.

wake me early, mObner earning,
When the east is growing grey,
For I'm to be queen of the May, moth
er,
I'm to be queen of the May.
Put the alarm clock close beside you
To announce the break of dawn,
For | must rustic ont, mother,
And get my glad rags on.
Wake me early, mother darling,
For I've business to be at,
For | m to be queen of the May, moth
er,
I have the biggest hat,
The pass word for the month will be
"What is the score| Book Install
ments will be paid on the 1st. Gas
meters will run slower and presiden-
tial candidates will run faster Pride,
which has been going before fall,
will go behind a go-cart. Strawberry
measure will be:
Twelve quarts make crate,
One pint make a quart
Top berries make sale,
Nobody makes kick
Mr.. Taft will appear at Chicago,
and engage quarters in the garage for
one 40-horse power elephant and one
80 horse power Teddy Bear
Mr.. Bryan will start for Denver in
a 1-mule power runabout. Congress
will adjourn about the 10th, and the
members will go home and explain.
The watchful tabbycat will get
The helpless little flicker,
And the prohibitionists will set
A few more traps for liquor.
The sun will rise at O clock and go
to bed at T; and the sweet June bride
will contemplate the near approach of
Heaven. The breath of May will bring
the fern, the rose and buttercup, and
the farmers wife will milk and churn
before the men get up. The boys will
skin the slippery elm with Jimmie s
barlow knife and the ice man will be
out to skin the innocent housewife.
The frog will sound a richer bass from
rivers and ravines, and man will tone
his system up with sassafras and
greens.
And then the city boarder will
Begin to correspond
With some bucolic country place
OF which his wife is fond.
The host will promise country fare,
That most revered of boons,
And place his order up at town
For seven tons of prunes.
The graduate will choose a theme for
his great June oration, and plan to tell
us what is good for this neglected ma
tion; the music school will graduate
Ophelia and Viola and when they both
come home they'll buy themselves g
pianOla.
The thrasher will descant at eve
Upon the passing day,
The festive colt will fill his tum
With prophylactic hay;
The chicken hawks will pounce upon
The fat buff cochin fries,
And the horse will whirl his tail piece
at
The all l-tarnation flies
The Saxons called the month Tri
Milk, because at this season the dairy
man makes his milk of three parts
one part milk, one part water, and one
part formaldehyde.
May is from the Latin Maius, jus
as June takes its name from Juniores
the Juniors That is, this is montl
when old heads are at their best, anC
young men like Bill Taft and Tee
Roosevelt will have to look out for oil
tops like Uncle Joe Cannon and Unclt
John Rockefeller About the 25th no
body much will care to bet that Uncl
Joe will not be nominated for presi
dent, or that Uncle John will pay tina
thirty million dollar fine.
May is a bad month to wed in,
| Because, we are told, it is said in
Such cases the stork, as custom, be
gins
The young husbands troubles, o hor
rors with twins.
After the 23rd, May will be unde
the influence of Gemini, the sign o
the arms Boys born in Gemini will
want to bear arms. They will be sold
iers and work for the government a
St3 a month.
Gemini people are restless. The
move all the time, and you alway
have to ask them where they are livin
now They have brilliant imagina
tions, and think Bryan will have
walk over They are foolish and thin
- Taft won't get the colored vote. The
are brutally honest and generally te
, the young mother that her baby is ug
ly.
The June announcements will b
made and Madam Gould will don he
6 fighting cap and say that she will maj
ry Prince Sagan; whereat her Bon
whom she had to forcibly detach, wi
> challenge Helie to come out and fight
y splitting match. The Prince will bu
n some navy plug. aud Bony buy tn
=. same, and both will bury TO the tiel
>, of sudden death or fame; and viii
: the doctors hurry up, lest some bol
y fighter dies, the dudes will spit toba'
:. co juice in one another's eyes. TIL
! seconds will cheer on the fight, ii
% band will play tune, and Boni wi
% hit Helie with a silver-ribbed spittooI
y receiving which the doughty Prime
; will down him in the mud, and was
=. his hated features with a wet tobac,
. cud.
And then John ID. will get in line
], With sundry growls and hollers,
And pay his June installment on
That thirty million dollars.