The Lamar register. [volume] (Lamar, Colo.) 1889-1952, 1908-06-03

is about all that riding amounts to
nowadays. That does not alter the
fact, however, that, with the coming
of automobiles and rapid transit of
one kind or another. Shank's Mare is
going out of fashion, together with
other equines. Modern society is
well-nigh as shy of using its legs as it
is of talking about them; and pres
emily, if we go on at this rate. these
hitherto useful APPENDICES will have
become, before we know it, merely
rudimentary and our arms abnormally
developed and strengthened as re-
suit OF hanging on straps, as are those
of our alleged ancestors, the anthro-
poid ape, as a result of hanging on
branches. | use the word alleged"
advisedly Surely there is little
enough to be proud of in the contem-
plation of the average family tree.
without chasing back some millions of
years for the purpose of regulating 1t
with the unsympathetic and avowedly
Manufactured chimpanzee! We may
have descended from the branches,
but from the anthropoid ape? Perish
the thought!
Admitting the need Of public con-
v,yances, which one is compelled TO
do so long as babies. bundles and loco
motor ataxia continue to flourish, Is
not to admit the need of their mani
fold Inconvenience. For IL is mani
fest that we nfe working out the prob
lem Of transit by the process of null
duplication OF the public to be pro-
vided for and of addition, if not sub
Of tl,a
is no kind of arithmetic, Already,
rapid transit is walking with limp.
Sooner or later 1t will be going around
on one leg. Z pluribus unum is a
very noble sentiment. The same can
not be said of plures in uno-particu-
larly if the uno be a public conveyance.
We Americans are VIGOROUSLY good
natured and long suffering, but there
is such thing as carrying good ma
ture to the extreme At present 1t is
pertinent to inquire whether we are
prepared to stand anything and every
thing from the companies who pre-
tend to transport us in comfort from
one place to another. Apparently we
are; and the mightier the company,
and the more modern the conveyance.
the more we stand. The which is no
mere idle figure of speech.
But let us lay bitterness aside. For
to recommend a more consistent and
constant use OF our legs does not of
necessity mean that we should be
eternally kicking. Let us, on the
contrary, strive to see wherein lies
the compensation for the discomfort
attendant upon the Intimate proxim-
/ \ <,f <,ttr fn1-
low-mcn. This will most certainly not
prove to be mere wild goose chase.
Whatever 1t may be in the way Ct
injustice, discomfort and an impo-
sition, your crowded trolley Is fer
tile field for the study of human ma
ture. Primarily, 1t teaches you that.
whatever your lack of beauty may be,
1t cannot compare with that of others.
If 1t is true that, beauty Is only skin
deep, It is plain that beauty. like
the eel, has become used to being
skinned. The operation has been per
| formed. with consummate efficacy and
| dispatch, upon the faces OF an over
whelming majority of those whom one
meets in the average trolley. This
is unden.ahly true, but none the less
uncharitable. After all, they can't
help It. the poor things But, then.
after all. one can't help being unchar-
table. It's more comfortable than
the other thing. Charity, you know,
suffereth all things. That's a pretty
hard load on the shoulders of charity!
| To come back to our fellow-trolley-
ers-place aux danes! The ladies'
bless 'em-are not to be judged by ap-
pearances. Were they. we should
arrive at the conclusion that not one
| in fifty of those who board trolley has
the most remote conception OF where
she is going. or how to get there.
| They scramble on with an eagerness
which seems to suggest that this par
ticular car is the last which Will
ever pass. and when they have re-
covered breath Il am merely a man;
l cannot know how this is done in
the case of woman, but 1t seems to
be accomplished by turning her veil
up across her nose), they appeal to
the conductor:
Does this car go to Asterisk
avenue?~
Yes, madam"
"oh, pshaw! Please let me of at
the next corner!'
They depart with an air OF wronged
innocence. leaving their fellow-passen-
gers consumed with curiosity to know
whether their object in getting on was
to be taken somewhere as surprise.
an object at once defeated by learn
ing the name of their destination
| Such evidence of instability is fatal to
contemplated matrimony, and some one
is always contemplating matrimony-
even. in a trolley. The latter has
confirmed more bachelors than the
supposedly sage advice OF Punch.
Provided she remains, the fair pas
senger has to consider the question
of annexing a seat, for trolley with
a seat already available Is trolley
unworthy of the name. The woman
of experience makes a rapid survey Of
the field. At once to be eliminated
from her calculation are the Italian
laborer, the fat man with a newspa-
per, and the Irish woman's child. The
first wouldn't If he could, the second
couldn't IL he would. and the mother
of the third has something for which
she has not paid. All three are sat