The true northerner. [volume] (Paw Paw, Mich.) 1855-1920, 1908-01-10
MARY'S FIGHT
John hears Of One She Nearly
Had.

While John was eating his mashed
potatoes with a sentimental look be-
yond words) Mary shook her head
thoughtfully at her mutton chop and
said: II nearly had such fight to-
day"
"A fight?" said John, looking up and
blinking his eyes. "A fight, Nary"
Such a fight" repeated Mary. gaz--
ing at her mutton chop in an abstract
manner as though she didn't know
that John. was all agog. Such fight
l nearly had" said she
But who WITH" demanded John.
who WITH"
"A man." said Mary. still gazing at
her chop with pensive interest and
wagging her little head. "Ah!" she
sighed and she wagged her little head
the more. John following her least
movement so closely with his eyes
that his head wagged, too.
What MANI" cried John, dropping
his jaw.
AS If by instinct Mary looked up
and gazed at John severely.
John" she said. your mouth is
open. How many times
John shut II in all humility and
waited in patience for further details
of the fray.
"Will you have some more mashed
potatoes, john" she asked
mo, no." said John, Tell me"
"Or another chop? Here's such a
nice little one!"
81 say l don't want any more. Now
tell me all about the fight
"I-I don't like" and she looked
down her sweet little nose and eyed
her chop.
why not?" said John.
Because"
Because what?" said John.
HE used such language"
And as John dropped his jaw the'
second time she gave him another
look and coldly cried: There you go.
again."
Hang it, I can't help it," returned
John. WHO WAS THE MAN?"
'He-he was a peddler, and III
tell you how it was. He rang the front
door bell-the impudence of him-and
opened the window an inch and.
shouted: Back door for peddlers
Hal" said John.
Eyes" said Mary
"And he wouldn't go?'
20, he went" murmured, Mary The
kitchen door was locked-John,
you've no idea how annoying these
peddlers are-and when he raped at
the kitchen door / didn't open it,
'Ha!" said John.
And every time he raped on the
outside of the door l raped on the in
side of the door, and every time he
ratified the doorknob l laughed"
"Ha!" said John
She looked up quickly, but Johns
jaw hadn't dropped again. She gave
him a look as if to say, I'll make
you drop It yet, you bet!" and con-
tinued aloud. Then l whistled the
dog"
1.-THE dog" cried John.
The dog" said Mary in a manner
Of marked complacency.
What dog?" asked John, blinking
his eyes
"An imaginary dog" said Mary.
Hal" said John.
"Fido."
"Fido?"
"An imaginary Fido."
"Ha," said John
Here Fido!' l said, the moment
l open the door l want you to spring
at this wicked peddler; but be careful
you don't catch hydrophobia, Fido
And then / barked"
Again she looked up quickly, but
Johns jaw hadn't dropped yet. She
gave him a most determined look and
went on:
$50 then l went to the telephone"
"To the telephone!" cried John.
Yes" said Mary. ITO the telephone
for the police
"What-what telephone?" cried
John.
AN imaginary telephone!" cried
Mary. 81 wound the alarm clock and
set it off and after the bell had
stopped | shouted: Central, give me
the police headquarters, quick!'"
Hal" said John.
She looked at him in vain and bold
ly cried:
Then when the policeman came I
let him in at the front door. and took
him into the kitchen"
You took the policeman"
IAN imaginary policeman"
Hal" said John.
And l said: %, Mr.. Policeman,
there's peddler out here and | want
you TO arrest him. And then | climbed
on a chair-like this-so IL would
sound like a tall man speaking, and
changed my voice and said: I'll shoot
him."
And was he there all the timer"
said John.
"Who?" asked Mary, standing on
the chair and watching him closely.
THE peddler."
"The imaginary peddler?"
And in accents Of Joy she sternly