The Washington herald., 1908-08-30
WOMAN ABOUT TOWN
Frailties and Foibles of Her Sex.

fiction and special article pages Of my
magazines are only meager hints about
the world In ny advertising PAGES I
have q minUtely detailed history of the
worlds sports and fads and tastes and
beliefs Some day. a hundred years
hence. my books viii be sought madly BY
historians They'd be TO historians OF
our epoch then what Pepys' Diary IS 10
people who want TO write about Charles
IA revelation Of the epoch as the aver
age man saw It
II We hear OF decimation Of our navy
by desertion. don't want ANYBODY 70 say
didn't warn the nation in time. Sailors
can stand great many hardships. in
Guiding the wearing Of Insecure hats and
oiouses cut shaped. but what happened
10 the crew Of the New Hampshire in
portsmouth harbOr last week is almost
more than even an abIe-bodied seaman
4 ought 70 be expected 60 endure On the
Iace OF IL. IL seems a lovely thing for the
New Hampshire branch Of the ". c 7.
l. 10 90 out 70 a war ship and give
every man on board a bag with thread
and needles IN II and tag him with 2
Wnite ribbon Doubtless Il was a Joyous
occasion and intended 70 be heIpul and
uplftinS- but as I see IL. those dear IA
dies have gone too far Your true sailor
man likes melody and he likes verse.
HIS own chaHteys, while perhaps they
are not poetry in its highest form OF
music at its best. are all perfect as n
rhythm absolutely correct in the matter
OF scansion- They don't limp IN foot,
and furthermore, what they saw IS fact.
lat can you expect Of our navy II our
sailors and marines are taught 10 sing:
shoulder arr1s-the szht Is ou
The men are i1 -he srav-
Sound The hGeles az the dawn
To c-s without dcl4--
WHAT'S going 10 happen Il marines are
led 20 believe thac the proper way 10 20
into a fray IS with arms shouldered2
what chance is a marine going TO stand
II he has TO butt in, as one may say. with
lls gun slanted backward over his shouI-
Ger while the eEemy's song uayhap and
as like as not has taught him TO TX bay
onets- or possibly 10 parry and thrust and
-llEe or even % load and fire2 Pc
S91aily. I Ike the idea OF ziviuE. needles
and thread 20 the able-bodied seaman
olI / protest against uuddIing him with
W. g T. T. tactics and manuals Of arms.
ana certainty II was nothing short OF
cruel and i-suIa1 treatment 10 make
him listen 70 that presentation poem
10 tie sailor boy OF tAe ocean.
Tbs token Is intended Tor vo1
Tat tl- ct ard and c1uf1-r
Lay Re -1rrs Cl tie ocean bi1e.
We often think n the sail-r
and De h-4yez- r--s ard --7n5
Ard s-s Che L5ri % pr0tecz aiz
VITA a r-Zl. u-l-lI1-el- Es-i-
II I were commander OF the New Hamp-
shire and heard my men screaming al
night I'd feel perfectly sure that the
second line Of that poem did t. ANY way
you say i. Il sounds no better than a
saQolIo advertisement. and saving II over
TOO often certainly tends TO loosen the
hiii1S IN ones teeth. Personally. I honor
the W c. T. l. Its members are the
sweetest the brsvest the most 70 be
hc1o-ed women / know They have beau
ttul souls, but they need 10 study prose-
cy- And until they've done that bit OF
studying I DO tnink the rules and reEula-
tons and maybe the articles OF war and
the oath Of allegiance and the Secretary
Of the Navy and the writ OF habeas
corpus. ought 20 see 70 il that the sailor
-sn't put upon too much
At a recent exhibition OF artists work
az one Of the artists summer. colonies
there was q pastel OF a red-haired lady.
ztrired in what one may call merely her
complexion and h.gh lights. gazing al
parrot Il was an immensely clever pic
tGre, I have no doubt. for I take Il for
granted that pictures which don't look
AZ all as I imagine things ought 10 look
are evidences Of an educated and marvel
BUS seeing eye on the part Of the artist
As this picture hung on the wall OF the
studio IN which the exhibition was held a
lear. elderly lady came and looked al il
ouE and earnestly
How red the poor things nose is-' she
aid How hectic her cheeks are
And sne turned 10 the artist
I'm so glad I see what YOU meant
he said I've never cared greatly for
he nude. but this one. can see teaches
! lesson. You meant Il TO 90 SO, didn't
-ou7"
TO teach what2~ asked the artist. a
title vaguely. for he had meant merely
O. suggest that his picture was worth $50.
Why. said the dear lady. didn't you
mean TO teach that If people sit around
Without their clothes they're sure TO get
readful colds in their heads7-