davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

"Why don't you go to the dentist
and have the tooth attended to-"
John Fisher held his hand to his
mouth and groaned.
That's just like a mani" exclaimed
John Fishers mother-in-law. Rather
have the toothache than go to the den
tist."
Still John Fisher said nothing.
When one has a bad case of toothache
W talk isn't cheap.
Pooh! don't make such a long face
about 1t. Besides, a toothache is all
in the mind"
John Fisher glared.
"All in the mind" reaffirmed the
lady, calmly and exasperatingly.
John Fisher arose to his feet.
Madam" he demanded, do you mean
to stand there and tell me that this
raging toothache is all in my mind?'
II do"
And that if l only imagined II
didn't hurt, it wouldn't hurt?"
Exactly"
This was adding contempt to insult
and John Fisher said as much.
Nov, now, keep your temper
joint" cautioned the lady. "Yor
know very we'll that if you hadn'
any mind at all you couldn't be con
scious of having the toothache. So l
you. will but withdraw your mind from
the pain, Il will be the same thing
You will be unconscious of it."
John Fisher sat down in disgust.
I'll tell you what / will do" contin
ued the resourceful mother-in-law. Il
you will go with me to the dentist ant
have that tooth attended to will
have two of mine pulled and tn
nerves killed in four others. l shoult
have had them attended to befor
this"
John Fisher looked surprised, thel
ashamed. Had his mother-in-law tn
toothache?
"And l won't take gas, either. II
depend wholly IN the power of min
over matter"
John Fisher reached for his ha'
Every WELL" he said; its a bargain.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
TOO MUCH FOR YANKEE.
English M~unehausen Had Shade the
Better of Fellow Romancer.

The Cape Cod man and the Lon
doner were travelling on the same
train together from Liverpool to the
capital.
"Yes," said the Yankee, I'VE do
have considerable fog out u way.
I've seen it so thick that the land
ladies of our summer boardin' houses
could ladle it out and use it instead
O. whipped egg for the heavy part OF
the floatin' island"
"We ave 'em, too, in London" said
his travelling companion, "but our
climate is too dirty to permit of our
eatin' 1t. We burn so much soft coal,
you see, the fog gets packed full OF
SCOT. The only thing We really can do
with it is to cut 1t up into blocks and
use it instead of peat when we want
a quick fire."
And the Yankee took out the little
American flag he wore in his button
hole and put it away in his wallet
Judge.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
BOY KEPT SCRATCHING.
Eczema Lasted 7 Years-Face Was All
Raw-Skin Specialists Failed, But
Cuticura Effected Cure.

when my little boy was six weeks
old an eruption broke out on his face.
/ took him to a doctor, but his face
kept on getting worse until it got so
bad that no one could look at him.
His whole face was one crust and
must have been very painful. He
scratched day and night until his face
was raw. Then 1 took him to all the
best specialists in skin diseases but
they could not do much for him. The
eczema got on his arms and legs and
we could not get a nights sleep in
months. | got a set Of Cuticura Rene
dies and he felt relieved the first time
l used them. / gave the Cuticura
Remedies a good trial and gradually
the eczema healed all up. He is now
seven years old and I think the trou-
BILE will never return. Mrs. John G.
Klumpp, so Niagara St., Newark, N.
j.. Oct. II and 20, 1907"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

boy ten years old, he SHE'D stones
at the soldiers of Great Britain in
1873.
He lived in Baltimore then, and his
father owned a mill at Jones Falls.
When the soldiers of George III.
marched through the city he stood
ON the bridge and threw rocks and
oyster shells at them. This was the
first actual service Bill did for his
country, and he tells with pride that
nearly every missile he threw hit the
mark.
This began a career that is the mar
vel of officers.
When the magnificent armored
cruiser Pennsylvania was launched a
few years ago, the fact was recalled
by officials of the naval home that
Macabee's career was curiously bound
up with that of the new monster just
being indicted into the service of
the nation.
Macabee was boatswain's mate on
the old Pennsylvania. At Norfolk
navy yard he gave the word to the
crew leaving the ship, just before she
was burned to prevent her from fall
ing into the hands of the confederacy.
Later in the day he led the crew in
yelling in defiance to the demand from
the Merrimac to surrender after the
confederate ironclad had riddled the
Congress to the sinking point in the
battle of Hampton Roads. Macabee
had been shifted to the Congress after
it became necessary to leave the
Pennsylvania.
Before giving up the Pennsylvania,
the crew made a noble effort to save
her. But finding that of no avail, she
was fastened to the Pawnee, towed
out into the stream and set afire.
Among the other ships on which the
old fellow has seen service are the
Delaware, United States, Ohio, Stark,
Connecticut, Vixen, Vandalia, Wabash,
Yorktown and Waterwitch.
Macabee's home was not far from
that of Francis Scott Key. who wrote
"The Star Spangled Banner" Though
only a youngster at the time the ma
tional anthem was %penned, Macabee
remembers well how quickly the air
seized the affections of the people, and
was heard on all sides.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
LAUGH WAS ON THE DEACON.
Statement Might BE True, But Ger.
tainIy Was unhappily Expressed.

II regret to say" remarked Deacon
French, at the last meeting of the
Squashville Political Debate club.
that this club has been degenerating
ever since l became a member of it."
The deacon paused and flushed as
he saw a slight smile on the faces of
his fellow members.
What I mean to say u.s." he con-
tinued, with some haste, that ever
since I joined this club I've noticed a
gradual but decided change for the
worse"
The smile on the faces Of the other
members %deepened, and the deacon's
face turned almost scarlet.
you all know what l mean," he
added, desperately. What l mean is
that from the very minute l became a
member of the Squashville Political
Debate club, I could see that it was
beginning to lose its value as an or
ganization, and the longer / have
stayed in it, the more steadily have ]
seer 1t running down hill!"-Lippin'
colts,
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
EAGER TO WORK
Health Rcgained by Right Food.

The average healthy man or woman
is usually eager to be busy at some
useful task or employment.
But let dyspepsia or indigestion get
hold Of one, and all endeavor becomes
a burden.
"a year ago, after recovering from
an operation" writes q Mich. lady, my
stomach and nerves began to give me
much trouble.
"At times my appetite was vora-
cious, but when INDUCED, indigestion
followed. Other times / had no appetite
whatever. The food | took did not
nourish me, and I grew weaker than
ever.
Il lost interest in everything, and
wanted to be alone. I had always had
good nerves, but now the merest trifle
would upset me and bring on a vio-
lent headache. Walking across the
room was an effort and prescribed ex-
ercise was out Of the question.
Il had seen Grape-Nuts advertised,
but did not believe what / read, at
the time. At last when 1t seemed as
If / were literally starving, l began to
eat Grape-Nuts,
Fl had not been able to work for
a year, but now after two months on
Grape-Nuts I am eager to be at work
again. My stomach gives me no trou-
BILE now, my nerve are steady as
ever, and interest in life and ambition
have came back with the return to
health.
There's a Reason"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read eThe Road to Well
ville," In pkgs.
Ever read the above Ietters A new
one appears fr0m time to time. They
IRE ~RFnuInes trues and full Of human
fmfAreaf. S4 444H f4 MW HEUNHN MatlNt
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
Laundry work at home would be

Laundry work at home would be
much more satisfactory if the right
Starch were used. In order to get the
desired stiffness, 1t is usually neces-
sary to use so much starch that the
beauty and fineness of the fabric is
hidden behind a paste of varying
thickness, which not only destroys the
appearance, but also affects the wear
ing quality of the goods. This trou-
BILE can be entirely overcome by using
Defiance Starch, as it a be applied
much more thinly because of its great
er strength than other makes.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
uncle zeh,s preferenoe.

Uncle Zebulon was on q visit to his
nephew in the big city and the two
had gone to a restaurant for dinner.
They had given their order and were
waiting for it to be filled when the
younger man, who had been glancing
at a paper that lay on the table, said:
said: :
by the way, uncle, did you ever
have cerebro-spinal meningitis?"
NO." replied Uncle Zebulon, after
a few moments mental struggle with
the question, land l don't want any.
I'd ruther have fried liver and bacon
any day,"
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
His Opinion.

de ace has got ter rise an shine
eff ever it hopes ter git dar," said
Brother Williams. TOO many of us
thinks dat all we got ter do is ter go
ter sleep in de hot sun an rise up an
eat watermillions in de shade! Dey
amt no room in dis worl' fer de lazy
man. He's always de n what gifts
run over, an den lays dar an howls
bekaze he's hurt!"-Atlanta Constitu.
tipn. WH
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
Suspicious Conduct.

Patron-The conductor on car No.
999 is the most agreeable street car
conductor | ever saw. He is very
polite.
Street Car Superintendent (alarmed)
Polite, is he? My gracious! He
must be knocking down ten dollars a
day.-N. Y. Weekly.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

The extraordinary popularity of fine
white goods this summer makes the
choice of Starch a matter of great i'm
portance. Defiance Starch, being free
from all injurious chemicals, is the
only one which is safe to use on fine
fabrics. Its great strength as a stiffen-
er makes half the usual quantity Of
Starch necessary, with the result of
perfect finish, equal to that when the
goods were new.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
nHonnrsn Rounht for Cash.

Edward Cecil Guinness of the Irish
firm of brewers was made a baronet in
recognition of his gift Of 81, $50, 900 for
the rebuilding of the slums Of Dublin.
The work occupied six years and
when successfully accomplished King
Edward raised the baronet to the peer
age with the title of Baron Iveagh.
After the king visited Ireland last year
Lord Tveagh presented $3.50, 900 to the
Irish hospitals in commemoration Of
the s~overeign's visit aud in return he
was made a viscount.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
Nuta.

One very great advantage which
nuts possess over most foods is their
absolute freedom from adulteration.
When you buy nuts, you always know
what you are getting, Of course,
those bought in the shell ere also abb
solutely clean. And what a beautiful
source they come from! How delight
full to picture the trees upon which
they grow, on the outermost branches
dancing in the sunbeams.-Good
Health.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

After making full allowance for the
Increased spending power of the
masses, figures prove ~conclusively that
Notwithstanding the wide diffusion CT
knowledge, the spread of education
and the raising Of the standard of in
telligence among the people, the APP
peal Of the quack and the charlatan
to the credulity of the public meets
with a reader response than ever
London Hospital.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
Bv the Hurricane Route,

Hes long wanted to leave the coun-
try" says a Billville exchange, but he
could afford the railroad fare.
but just as he had given up all hope
a hurricane came along and gave him
and his house free transportation. 1t
was providential and he pulled
through at last."-Atlanta Constitu-
tion
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
ONE HEAVEN OF SAFETY.

ture all together. Grandaunt Drue's
was in the possible line of march. And
SO it went with every place proposed
When finally a moment of despair.
full silence had settled upon the little
c%onclave the piping of a small voice
was heard, that Of the curly-headed
boy, the pet Of all, who had crept in,
unnoticed, and listened to the anxious
counseling. He was saying with such
an air OF absolute decision as en-.
couraged everybody present:
Lets all go to God's--they won't
be no Yankees there!'-Brooklyn
Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

Pop docking up from the paper)-
| see there's a new baby hippopotamus
at the zoe What are you laughing
at, Johnnie?
Johnnie (who is almost as bright
as he looks)-I was JUS laughin' to
think of the stork carryin' a h%ipperpot-
amus!-Exchange.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
Rather Effeminate,

The Saucepan wonder what
makes the kettle so happy. 1t hasn't
stopped singing all day."
The Coffee Pot-Why, didn't you
notice it's new lid?-Puck.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
A Eresh l.tart.

Dyer-Well. see Failing is on his
rect again.
Ryer-yes; he was Obliged to sell
his auto.-Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
A

Mr.. Asker-Do you find your new
auto a good climber, Harry?
Harry-Well, it's not a speed mar
vel when it comes to running up hills,
but say, old man, you just ought to see
It run up a bill.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
HoW's This?

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for any
case OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by Halls
Catarrh Cure.
r. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned. have known F. J. Cheney
for the last is years, and believe him perfectly hon
orable In all business transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligations made by his firm.
WALDING, K1NNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O..
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally, acting
directly upon the blood and mucous surfaces Of the
system. Testimonials sent free. Price rs cents per
bottle, Sold by all Druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

Kidney Pills and the backache ceased.
Encouraged, l kept on, and by the
time l had used three boxes not a
sign of the trouble remained. My
health is perfect"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co.. Buffalo. N. Y.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
Rock and Rue

Many a man has been wrecked on
the rock Of adversely. but there "a
generally a little rye on the side..-
Philadelphia Record.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

II the energy that women expend in
making fools of men could be .concen-
trated-but what's the use of speculat-
Ing with impossible problems?
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

Mrs. Bildad says that she talks in
her sleep"
"That isn't the worst of it, either.
She talks when she is awake."-Life.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

Clothes don't make the man; what's
in the pockets doesn't. either.--De.
troit Free Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
Strong Winds and Sand Storms

cause granulation of the eyelids. PETTITS
EYE SALWE soothes and quickly relieves.
All druggists or Howard Bros, Buffalo, NY
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

Tho Tired, Aching Feet of Yours
need Aliens Foot-Ease. 25c at your Druggists
Write A. s. 0lmsted. lie Roy, N. Y. for sample.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

-
martyr to kidney
trouble, backache,
dizzy spells, head
aches and a ter
rible bearing-down
pain. l used one
remedy after an
other without bene-
fit. Finally 1 used
a how of nOopia
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing syrup.
For children ~teething, softens the gums, reduces IN
ELIMINATION, sllays pain, cures wind cole csc oottie'
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

Marriage is a contract, but there
are lots Of contract jumpers.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

The actions Of a dumb mar speak
louder than his words.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

When a man is short he usually has
a long face.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
Bone of Contention.

Death usually heals all family diff
~ferences," said the old-fashioned philo-
sopher.
YES" replied the shrewd observer,
but usually the reading of the will
separates them again."-Detroit Free
Press.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
c FOR SICK WOMEN.

For thirty years Lydia E. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound, made
from roots and herbs, has been the
standard remedy for female ills,
and has positively uredthousands of
womenwho have been troubled with
displacements, inflammation, ulcera-
ton, fbroid tumors, Irregularities,
periodic pains, backache, that BEAR
ing-down feeling, fatulency, indiges-
ton, dizziness, ornervous pr~ostration.
Why don't you try it2
Mrs. Pinkham invites all sick
women to write her for advice.
She has guided thousands to
health. Address, Lynn, Mass.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

Smokers appreciate the quality value of
Lewis Single Binder cigar. Your dealer
or Lewis Factory, Peoria, III.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12

Liber2lity does not consist in CIV
ing largely, but in giving wisely
Jerome.
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
PERFECT HEALTH.
After Years of Backaehe, Dizziness
and Kidney Disorders.

Mrs. R. c. Richmond, of Northwood,
Iowa, says: For years was a
Iron County register. [volume] (Ironton, Iron County, Mo.) 1867-1965, 1908-11-12
FOR THE LADY OR THE AUTO.

Expressman-I don't know whether
this comes here. The address is in.
distinct.
Housemaid-I guess it's all right.
it's either a new tire for the auto, or
a new hat for the missus!
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1908-07-30

clair, Decedent.
The State Of Minnesota to Sarah
Elizabeth Sinclair. Bessie Glynn
Sinclair, and Lemuel Neil Sinclair
and all persons interested in the sale
Of certain lands belonging to said
decedent: The petition Of G. s.
Wees as representative of the above
named decedent, being duly filed in
this court, representing that it lis
and for the best interests
of said estate and Of all Interested
therein that certain lands of said
5decedent described therein be sold
and praying that license 7ne TO him
granted tic. sell the same
Now, Therefore, you, and each Of
YOUR are hereby cited and required
to show cause. il any you have. be-
fore this court, at tile Probate Court
Rooms. ia the city of Warren, Goun-
ty Of Marshall |, State Of Minnesota.
on the 18th day of "A august, 1908. at
11:00 o'clock Al. "a by the prayer
of said petition should not be grant
ed.
Witness. the J of said Court.
and the seal of said court. this 22nd
day sof q uly, zoos.
Peter d !. III 81
Ice Oh bate Court.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1908-07-30
NEWS FROM SCANDINAVIA.
Principal Events That Have Trans
PRED In the Old Countries
Within q Week or So.

The tendency Of the Icelanders to
drift away from Denmark has been ex-
plotted by the yellow press" of Scan
dinavia to get up some cheap excite
ment in dull season Some Norwe-
CLANS whose influence at home is next
TO nil have encouraged the Icelandic
movement, and some Danish papers
took occasion to make the hint that
some parties might be scheming to
have Iceland annexed to Norway. It is
perfectly safe to say that no respon.
sible, intelligent Norwegian would
think Of such an eventuality.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1908-07-30
DENMARK.

The automobiles are on Z strike In
Copenhagen. The aim of the strike
is to compel the authorities to change
the ordinances governing the automo-
bile traffic. The maximum speed is
so low and the fines SO high that the
owners of the automobiles claim that
it does not pay to run the machines.
They also claim that the machines
were too fast when run at a low
speed. The strike was started by
the chauffeurs, but there is an under
standing between them and the own
ers Of the automobiles.
Warren sheaf. [volume] (Warren, Marshall County, Minn.) 1880-current, 1908-07-30
OFFIC PROCEEDINGS.
Special Ditch Meeting. Ditch No. 49,.
July 18th. 1908. 30

~ Mes. I. : 90. q me-. :.
oHssl0l Ditsn y LII Is OlsSli NO a
1.,f., = u. 1nno
& july a. a. = H. ~ y
uaa.;n !, g s. q, q. -,
3 s
man at O'Clock q. ~. Members pres-l
an+. yu;++ans+a,, p,,s+,.o,. Geo., rna.l
e e " lttehsten, bysIrom, SIreen, Eng
:elsrud and Serum. absent. none
\ g -.
Pursuant TO cali and notice given,
tne 5ooard proceeded 70 consider me PEI
tition Of Oscar Hanson and others for |
a public ditch IN the town of Marsh
Grove nh hoard ,nada q ord f1ad tho
~ no poaiu Aloue f1nu nl V Dlle
-. -, : !, - -
ana viewers 81
E,s1,1 ,r-rTnN 4 ppn T,nrnn r,rnrx Er,1,
IN DITCH pRonEEnTNGs
= s : = = :. s = - %.
In the matter Of the petition Of Oscar Ham
a l+,6, LA. =
inr COUNTY Ditch r No IS Is TIN the county q
Marshall n State Of Minnesota e,Is 80
Whereas, a petition bearing date the 9Th
gay 81 May s signed by Oscar ,s,: Hanson,
Hjelle. Anton Hanson. John Knudtson, .. IS.
akre, Augnsl 1aSe vum
Ravnkilde. and Mrs. Randi Peterson, pray
ing for the establishment OF a certain county
bered by the county auditor as county ditch
No. IS, the route Of which is more fully de-
scribed in said petition, and proper bond
the county auditor OF said county, as by law
required =.
to e q
petition. and the time and place at which the |
ouired bv law go "a "a Ss33S T7s3S$
Now. therefore, We. the county board Of
said county al q sDecial-ditch session held
tais day do hereby APPOINT O. =. Hamery as
a competent and EXPERIENCED engineer to n
make an accurate survey of the line Of said
ditch from its source to its o15tst az j.
| the General LAWS of 1905. and after complet-
| ing his duties as such engineer to make and
county. On or before the 18th day Of August,
1908. II s. -. 4
Dated July 18th, 1908.
BY the Board,
j. A. SORUM,
| SEAL Chairman Of County Board
Attest: s, OF Marshall County !.
:. 2 MAhBhRa' county Au0ltor.
| ORDER APPOTNTING VIEWERS TN DITCH
~ -. q
| PROCEEDINGS.
!. j, ~ 49, : 49, po+,+,a,, Z, osoo. u.,
II Ulie Maouer " uiie eo 't " oscar haH-
i son and others for County Ditch lois in the
stat a. y, ~ Mmaasnta c s, - No rs%aa
WInsa - t;ti a. - - +la 93th
- 1on g pd n ua n ny. so - "a
u May, i9VS aSa Hana = ii e.
tomas MAMA az, 6aRKe; mans = H9ele,
t t 49, Su Dio ~ 4h -
fV eg'j. GRIN tad Jons Person Carl Raw
hiue ani MEs: manuf it, prIayans tui
Se 4 ~ r =. Nv the cnntu a,,i
tor as County ditch NJ. IS, tie Route Of which
4