davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

don't go with the coffee for souve-
neer. Say, Name, was you to Nellie's
last night? l bet you looked out of
sight. couldn't get away from this
beanery. That's the very best butter,
madam! We get it five miles out in
the country. What's that? No;
don't reckon 1t walked all the way
here! Amt she fresh?"
A stout woman lowered along the
line seated by the counter, like per-
turbed hen trying to find hole in the
chicken yard fence. She held small
tin pail and had evidently come from
the car of excursionists attached to
our train. She inquired anxiously Of
the Ganymede of the coffee urn:
"Say, young Teller. what's yer coffee
wuth a cup?" But Ganymede was too
closely occupied to heed her. Finally
she poked a beetle-browed old gentle
man in the back with the dime she
held, repeating:
Say, mister. what's coffee wuth a
cup. berel"
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21
! VISITING TOILET

The oil should first be thoroughly well
rubbed into the skin with a firm cir
cular motion, and the arms should
then be briskly frictioned, from
shoulder to wrist, with a rubber skin
brush. The action of the brush should
be regular and sufficiently prolonged.
The blood will quickly come to the
surface of the skin and the arms will
assume most healthy shade of Grim.
son. After the friction another coat
of oil should be lightly rubbed on,
and then, just before going to bed, a
piece of clean wadding passed over the
skin, to remove any oil which has
not been absorbed. If this course be
continued regularly for several weeks
a great change will be seen in the
condition of the arms. The skin will
become softer and finer, and the arms
themselves will look beautifully white
in the evening. Just the same treat
ment Is excellent for the neck and
shoulders, but care must be taken to
make the frictions in a circular man.
nor
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21
PERUNA EDITORIAL NO. /.

DR. Hartman offering Peruna
c product just ethical compound put
profession No straning Of medical ethics fault with THE
PRINCIPAL ACTIVE INGREDIENTS prominently incorporated the
label the people know that the for Perua
have justification
The only departure shall make medical
Perna affairs the the fact that advertise and
sell product TO THE PEOPLE
sell only advertise for doctors ony
then the medical fraternity would obliged recognize being
entirely within their approval
BUT WE SHALL NOT DO THIS
We shall continue offer Peruna to the people We shall
the claims for Peruna household
continue supply the with free literature teaching
medicine teaching them how avoid disease teaching
benefit
profession like it or
We proposing from this time take the public
Notwithstanding that imaos and will
something which
aside the veil
OF WHAT PERUNA rs COMPOSED
This ought to dsarm all honest criticism We that
im will continue On
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21
An AII-Round Man.

William V. McManus, the new pres
ident of the Letter Carriers associa-
ton of New York, had been discussing
the ideal letter carrier.
With laugh he ended:
''Yes, the ideal letter carrier needs
to be as all-round, as many-sided, as
divinely gifted, as the man Cincin-
natl suburbanite advertised for last
month.
"The advertisement ran:
'Wanted-A man able to teach
Spanish, water color painting, and the
violin, and to look after the bull
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

sat at one of the tables and ordered
cup of tea and roll. Her indigna-
ton, when charged Is cents, was sub
lime. 1t took the cashier, four wait
resses and the proprietor to explain
that she should have gone to the coun-
ter. But of no avail. The blood Of
County Down was at white heat. She
raved like mad woman. Finally the
cashier offered to take go cents-that
was allowing Is cents for the rest of
the dinner. SIS
Farther down the car was a would
be fashionable woman, the kind who
affects an English accent and uses a
lorgnette. She was travelling with her
was evidently her most treasured pos
session, for she displayed the greatest
anxiety on her account, ceaselessly
asking everyone the same question:
Had they seen her Abigail? The small
daughter was a bright, restless child,
whose every action called forth eau
ton or a reprimand from the mo-
Their.
"Nita, darling!" in a mincing, ele-
CANT tone, and quite piano; my pre-.
cious sweetheart"-then sforzando-
crescendo fortissimo-"You little vix.
en-stop that, or I'll break your
neck!"
An Australian couple who were re-
turning home by way of San Francis
CO, after having come to America by
way of England, had the next section.
She had talented Leslie Carter hair
deeply, darkly, beautifully red; but,
after all, good Jesuit hair-the roots
justified the ends. She was not at all
pleased with America,-oh, dear, no!
and constantly aired her impress
sions in a strident voice, and with a
strong cockney accent. She thought
America shocking plice"-and very
much overrated-one she never cared
to see "agine." And the railroad serv-
ice-"the h'idea of dragging them all
over the country and cheating them
out of the Grand Canyon-why, 1t was
downright dishonest"
The porter was an amusing charac.
ter, and had droll way of referring
to himself in the third person. I asked
him if he was married He said:
mo, sab, but I got gal INCEST
little gal you ever saw-she's pretty
dark-but George likes 'em that-a-
way, they CANT come too black fer
George. l amt got no kind o. time
fer desc yer yaller ones, they simply
ornery, they got all the big feelins O.
the white folks, an the bad qualities
O. the niggers!"
Just then the lady with the lorgnette
came along and, peering through it at
George, asked: "Oh, George, have you
seen my maid?"
mo, ma'am, 1 ANTI" he said, add
ing, when she passed on: Seems like
she has an awful hard time keepin' VI
with that maid-she's so feared we
won't know she's got one. George has
seen big white folks down south SO po'
they didn't know whar they mex meal
was comm fun, but, sah," impressive
ly, "dey was quality jis' de samel Dis
yer CONAN ain got no mo- use TO a
maid dan hawg got TO- side pawk-
ets!"
Georges quaint remarks, and very
often homely wisdom, were great
solace to us through the long days
that dragged by as we meandered aim
lessly oSer the southwestern portion
Of this great and glorious country OF
ours. Down through Oklahoma and
Texas, from Fort Worth across to Ell
Paso, and up through Arizona and
Southern California, we took our de-
vious way, lodging washouts, which
seemed to multiply with alarming
rapiditV.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

AH!C:;Iz3
MVacszzEs

Jockey George Mountain has with
drawn $4,000 which he had on deposit
in a bank at New Orleans and is now
on his way to California to invest the
money in some legitimate business in
the land of sunshine, fruit and flow
ers. Following the revocation OF
Mountains license in the south and
middle west, he announced his inten-
ton of quitting the saddle for good.
On the eve of his departure Mountain
said Il will not apply for license
to ride in the east. l have been ac-
cused of doing wrong, but defy any
one to prove that l ever pulled horse
or received a cent from bookmaker.
have relatives in California, and with
the $4,000 l have here and the $12,-
900 which is tied up in the Williams
burg Trust Company think | can
worry along much better than the
majority of my knockers" Mountain
said he had saved the $4,000 during
the last two years. Racegoers are
surprised that he had been able to
save" that sum, for he has never
been a fashionable jockey and his
fees were never large. Until James
H. Mccormick engaged him to pilot
Glorifier, the Carter handicap winner,
he was regarded by trainers as only
a fourth rate jockey. 1t was his sue
cess on Glorifier that gave him pres
tige on the eastern turf and enabled
him to sign a contract to ride for
August Belmont.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21
Watercress Farms in England.

The development Of watercress
growing in Dorset, England, is enor.
nous. One firm near Bere Regis EN-.
ploys no fewer than 40 men in the cul.
tivation, cutting, and packing of cress.
and the proprietor publicly stated 8
few days ago that he pays $4,000 a
year in wages. The watercress, which
is scientifically cultivated. Is ssat 70
all parts of the country.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21
Betrayed by His Language.

"Have you any visible means of
support?" asked the policeman
sternly.
"Me? Yes, sab. sure has. AS a
wash lady NAH wife is out of sight"
'"Then she's not visible" rejoined
the policeman, and the march to the
patrol box began.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21
The Funny Things One Sees
Smiling Round the World
By
MARSHALL p. WILDER
Copyright, by Joseph B. Bowles. }

in everything-even to the man who
was blessed CD with disorderly wife.
No matter how much everything was
at skies and sevens in the house, and
nothing in it's rightful place, he could
always get up in the middle of the
night and put his hand on the fly
paper without ever having to strike a
match. Merrily yours, Marshall p.
Wilder.
There is a morbid desire latent in
the breast of nine-tenths of humanity
to have it out with Fate, sooner or
later, and to best" her, if we can.
If the old lady has been particularly
hard on us, we feel that our grievance
is just about the worst ever; and then
we want to do something desperate.
If we are in the neighborhood of eight
years or Whereabouts, we fly to the
candy shop and sink our all in pepper
minis and gumdrops. If we are at the
romantic period, when love has every
thing else at discount, we get real
reckless and say to our best girl,
Come! to the altar Let us plunge!
Ho! there, installment man! rag-time
portferes and marble-top cradles for
ours!" Then, when we have done the
deed, were not sorry-no, indeed; only,
it entails responsibilities, and things;
and consequences-the inevitable con-
sequences, as Kipling puts 1t. So, let
me give you little suggestion: When
hA toll cfo ri
journey, If not round the world
then round the back yard.
Now, that was what we thought
when we started to tour the world;
but, try as we would, we couldn't keep
our place in the procession. We
started for the Grand Canyon of the
Colorado in Arizona; that was to have
been our first stopping place. But we
were like the Irishman who started
out on bet to shoot a certain bird;
he missed the bird, but killed frog.
He picked it up, and looked at it in
surprise. BE gobs!" he said, II
knocked the feathers off it, amy
way" The Grand Canyon was our
bird; we didn't hit it, but we knocked
the feathers off it in the way Of
divers unexpected adventures, as will
be shown later.
The start was propitious, and every
thing progressed favorably, until Kan
sas City was reached. We arrived
early in the morning and were re-
quested by the conductor to get break
fast at the eating station. Yet that
man had seemed to be our friend!
There was a youth at the quick
lunch counter who served coffee, and
there was a maiden beside him who
occasionally changed plate.
The young mans running fire of re-
marks to customers, and side compli-
ments to her, sounded something like
this: "-
''See here! If you've finished, get
move on and give somebody else a
show! Say Name! there's one o. them
uptown girls that think so much of
themselves. Why, they amt a marker
to you! l tell YOU you're worth
Fifteen cents, please, and the cup
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

The day of fortune is like harvest
day, we must be busy when the corn
is ripe-Goethe.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

Mrs. Winslow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething sofens the gums reduces In
fammaton, allays PAIN cures wind collie Csc bottle.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

A rural melodrama should at least
have grass plot.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

Once in great while man actual
ly heeds his wife's advice.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

From appearances Bob" Lowe is
out of big league baseball forever.
The great second baseman, who
played his finest ball for the old Bos-
ton Nationals, is to secure his release
from the Detroit American league
of Pennsylvania team and manage the
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

The best remedy for wrongs done to
us is to forget them.-Syrus.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

"BroWn's Bronchial Troches"
cure Coughs and give grateful relief
to sufferers from Bronchitis, Asthma
and Catarrh. Free from opiates.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

fault. But we are determined to give
such people no just complaint
PERUNA Is A GREAT MEDICINE.
It has become a household word in
millions Of homes. Our faith in the
remedy is stronger than ever. Every
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

Making baseball deals is not an
easy task by any means. In recent
discussion John F. Kflfoyle, one of the
owners of the Cleveland club, said:
Unless club owner is willing to
give two stars for one he stands but
small chance of getting any of the
great players away from the cities
where they are now located. No one
can quite appreciate the condition of
things in the baseball market unless
he has an interest in team and tries
to get few first-class players. Now,
for instance, the Cleveland club might
take players Flick and Turner into
the trading marts and make deal for
a high-grade player, but that would be
like giving two $40 gold pieces for
one. Or we could ger star player
for Joss and Clarke, but that would
also be foolish trade for us to make.
1t is a fact, though, that were we to
seriously go about the task of trying
to make trade we would be asked to
give two men like Joss, Clarke, Flick
or Turner for one man. Buy some
body, then say some of the fans.
How? What would happen to us if
we sold Joss, for instance? What
would happen to the st. Louis Browns
if they let George Stone go for money?
Or to the Athletics if they sold Eddie
Plank to Cleveland? Or to the White
Sox if they sold us Jiggs Donohue?
You see itisn't question of money
at ALL Of course we could well af-
ford to pay fancy price for a player
like Hal Chase-our investment would
also come back to us in gate money
but New York couldn't afford to sell
Chase for any amount for the Gotham
fans would have their revenge. We
might make $4,000 if we could buy
such player for $4,000 or $4,000,
but the club letting him go would lose
$4,000 or $4,000. So there you are"
Michael Balenti, 20-year-old Chey.
enne Indian from Oklahoma, has been
elected captain of the Carlisle Indian
baseball club for the approaching sea-
son. Balenti has fielded and played
third base, as well as caught, at the
national game. He is the coming In
dian quarter back at football and is
five feet ten inches tall, and training
down for the approaching season to
$50 pounds.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

The man who pays his coal bills
always has money to burn.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

Spot Cash for Your Cream.
Top market prices always. MILTON
DAIRY CO., st. Paul.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

We Pay Top Price for Cream.
Cash every day. Write for prices and
tags. Miller & Holmes. st. Paul. Mimi.
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21
WHAT CAUSES HEADACHE.

From October to May, Colds are the most fire.
quent cause of Headache. LAXATIVE BROMO
QUININE removes cause. E.W. Grove on box 25c
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21
important to Mothers,

Examine carefully every bottle OF
CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that 1t
The Ely miner. [volume] (Ely, Minn.) 1895-1986, 1908-02-21

New Castle (Pa) team of the Ohio
Pennsylvania league. Lowe was cap
tain of the Chicago National league
team at one time, being succeeded at
second by John Evers, who gives Lowe
credit for making him the wonder that
he is. Lowe has been Detroit's utility
man for three years.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-11-04
CURES CATARRH
The Owl Drug Store Will Furnish The
Medicine Free In Every Case
Where They Fail To
Cure Catarrh.

Neglect or pessimism we believe is
the greatest enemy the public have
to contend with when applied to the
loss or recovery of health. Practically
every case of consumption might have
been cured if hope had been maintain
ed and proper treatment had been re-
sorted to at the first symptom of the
disease. Until the advanced stage is
reached, consumption is durable. Ca
farrh is responsible, we believe. for
every case of consumption. 1t is about
Catarrh we want TO talk to you today,
incidentally consumption, since the
two are so closely allied
We have a medicine made from the
prescription of one of the most sue
cessful catarrh specialists known.
This medicine has a record of 9S per
cent. of cures. and we believe it is
positively without an equal. We are
so satisfied that we are right. that we
will supply the medicine free in every
instance where it is used according to
directions for a reasonable length of
time and fails to cure and give salts
faction in every particular. We want
everyone in Hattiesburg to try this
medicine at our risk. There are no
conditions or formality attached to
our offer We put the user under no
obligations to us whatever.
The medicine we want you to try
is Rexall-Mucu-Tone. 1t is a catarrh
remedy that goes direct to the seat of
trouble. 1t is carried by the blood to
every part of the system. 1t seeks
out and destroys the germs or para
sites which cause Catarrh. 1t purifies
and enriches the blood, tones up the
mucu-cells, soothes and heals the It's
sues that were ravaged by the ca
tarrhal parasite, and brings about a
condition of health and strength that
prevents the germs of consumption
from ever getting a start. Besides
this, Rexall Mucu-Tone is a wonderful
appetizer digestive aid and flesh
builder. Its good effects are felt from
the first dose. 1t is one of the largest
and most satisfactory selling medi-
cines that we have ever had anything
to do with. We know so much of the
great good that it Las done that we
personally back it up with our reputa-
ton and money which fact should be
ample guarantee to satisfy everybody.
Rexall Mucu-Tone comes in two
sizes, SOC and $1.OO We urge you to
try it, The Owl Drug Store, 113
Front street Hattiesburg, Miss.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-11-04
The Effort Of His Life a Failure.

W. S. Gilbert had novel experience
before he wrote for the stage, wheI
he was barrister waiting for his first
brief. 1t was long in coming, and
when it did come Mr.. Gilbert deter
mined, of course, to make the effort OF
his life.
He was intrusted with the prosecu-
ton of an old Irish woman for stealing
a coat, and when he began the speech
that he had prepared and rehearsed so
carefully, the old dame at once began
to interject: ooh, We divil, sit DOWN.
Sure, now, he's loier, yer honorw "Sit
down, We spalpeenw Hes known to
all the perlice, yer honorp After some
minutes of this abuse Gilbert asked
the recorders Intervention, but that Of
fetal was too busy laughing. So the
effort of his life was not a success.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-11-04
Lace Made From Hair.

The most curious lace is called point
tresse. 1t is very rare and was made
of human hair. French collectors say
that It exists in the present day only
in their cabinets. 1t was confined to
the early part of the sixteenth century.
Margaret. countess of Lennox. the
mother Of the wretched Darnley. sent
from the tower, where she was i'm
prisoned when her son, Lord Charles
Lennox, married the daughter of Bess
of Hardwicke, q bit of this kind Of
lace to Mary, queen Of Scots. This is
a very strong proof of her belief in the
queens innocence Of the guilt that had
been imputed to her. The little square
OF point tresse was worked by the old
countess own hands from her own
gray hair. 1t was. in fact. hair mixed
with fine fiax-London Express.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-11-04
PAID FOR THE BATHS.
Exciting Hotel Incident In Bar HaS~
boris Early Days.

"1n the prehistoric days at Bar Har-
dress suit had cast its blighting shad-
ow there and when Rodick's aud the
fish pond were the center of all the
gayety, life was pleasant even though
many of the conveniences which we
now demand were wholly lacking. Ro.
dicks was barn OF place with no
elevator and innocent Of electric bells.
One man in imminent need of ice wa
ter once obtained it, however, by going
into the hall and yelling Murder at
the top of his lungs. He gathered to-
gether most of the hotel guests and
finally got the ice water of his souls
desire, but his success did not seem
to establish a precedent.
The fire department was. SO TO
| speak, in embryo. In the Rodick at
the head of each stairway there used
/ To stand a large hogshead of water for
use in an emergency, and thereby
hangs the tale l am about to tell you.
Late of an evening there entered
the deserted fish pond a young man
whose fixed and CLASSY eye and wan
dering smile betrayed what his even
ing's occupation had been. In order
to settle any lingering doubt as to his
condition, however, he proceeded to
emit series Of blood curdling shrieks,
which called forth hasty and en-
phatic protest from the night clerk,
who on advancing upon the inebriat-
ed one was promptly laid low by a
right handler. The night force in an
angry array promptly went to the
succor Of the night clerk. whereat bis
assailant retreated UPSTAIRS closely
followed by his pursuers.
Reaching the landing, he espied the
hogshead Of water which he promptly
heaved down the stairway upon his
opponents, who, drenched by the wa,
ter and carried off their feet by the
butt itself. in a Wild state of rage
renewed the attack. only 70 be treat
ed to the same dose on the second
flight Of stairs and yet again on the
third. at which point, his ammunition
being exhausted, they captured and
got even with the belligerent one.
ain the morning great was the anger
and loud the lamentations of Herr
Rodlck at the state OF his stairway and
the damaged condition of his night
force but he who had accomplished the
outrage was rich In this worlds goods
from part of which he was made to
separate for divers ruined carpets, sun
dry abrasions and for giving five mer
three baths apiece at 81 bath, the
regular rate at that time in Bar Har
Dor"
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-11-04
HAD BEEN IN JAIL.
Yet It Did Not Prejudice His Standing
as Witness.

as WitneSSs
An important case was being tried
before the chminal court of the Dis
trict of Columbia. An old negro was
lin the witness box. The district attor
ney commenced:
"What is your pame%
"John Williams, sah."
care you the John Williams who was
sent to the Albany penitentiary for
larceny"
"No, sah-not this John"
"Are you the John Williams who was
convicted of arson and sent to the Bal
timore penitentiary"
mo, sah."
Have you ever been in any peniteD.
t1ary%
Eyes, sah."
All eyes were now turned upon the
witness. The district attorney smiled
complacently and resumed:
"How many times have you been in
the penitentiary"
"Twice, sah."
"Where?"
"In Baltimore, sab"
"How long were you there the first
timer"
about two hours, sah."
"How long the second timer" asked
the attorney, rather crestfallen.
can hour, sab. went there to
whitewash a cell that was wanted for
a lawyer who had robbed his client"
The attorney sat down amid the
laughter of the spectators.
The Hattiesburg news. (Hattiesburg, Miss.) 1908-1917, 1908-11-04
In a Bad WAY,

you seem much upset, my good
man." remarked the curate, who hap.
down the law somewhat emphatically
to his family circle.
"HupsetT beloved Murkie. 81
should think l am hupset! Our bless
ed kids just set ITSELF on fire. an
bowed If the missus ere amt bin
an put i'm out with my pot O. beer,
an me stony bJOke toor-London An
swers.