davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-06-23

 human, Have always looked silly the moment they tried To fathom the ways of a woman.
 PROBABLY TRUE. T see where a college professor says that heaven is a school for higher mathematics" (Which reminds me that great many people are figuring on going to heaven who will land in other place."
 'TISN'T SAFE TO LOOK.
 That man is wise
 Who keeps his eyes,
 When we'd
 Both soon and late,
 Near maidens, straight
 Ahead.
 AWFUL EXPERIENCE. DO dreams ever come true?' q would hate for the one I had last night to come true" What did you dreamT' ''That I was sitting on a pink elephant 20 miles high and couldn't get down."
 THE MAN BEHIND.
 While Brother Charles
 Is not so great,
 Give him his due
 He pays the freight.
 
 REPLIES. 'Is the kimono proper at the table?'' asks newspaper reader. Yes-dressing table
 "Ah, Goo'' is the title of an essay by Winfred Black. Some of these word specialists can write about anything. If you think the world owes you liv- ing. don't make the mistake of hiring a lawyer to collect it. It is hard to write "perts" when ones undershirt is sticking to ones back and all the spring has gone out of ones knees.
 Labels can't lie," says an advertiser. Oh ltd! There are labels on cans that lie every time you read them. Birmingham begs to present the lady hotel clerk Is she winner? Why, of course. Front! PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-06-23

Caleb Powers friends are glad he is able to be out
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-06-23

Graft" at least rhymes with Candi- date Taft's name.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-06-23

Denver, like other cities this time of the year, is hot in the day time, but at night it is delightfully."- cool. The maximum temperature there on Sun day was 92 and the minimum 56. Such a summer record is hard to beat, St. Louis, one of the hottest towns in America, had the same maximum as Denver, but it's minimum was 22 de- grees higher.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-06-23

Thus twenty tons of air must De oriVeii through the grates of the funaces every day. With the temperature at 100 degrees this means that 26,1OO,Ooo cubic feet of air enters the furnace every hour.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-06-23

Miss Reid is marrying a younger son of an earl and his prefix title is only Honorable" but the wedding will eclipse in social splendor any similar event in which an American girl ap- peared as the bride. She will not re- ceive the courtesy title of 'lady," as would have been the case had she married the heir to the earldom, but she may, if she chooses, style herself "the honorable," which in England is hereditary prefix belonging to the younger sons and daughters of peers.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-06-23

Entered at the Birmingham, Ala postoffice as second-class matter under act of Congress March 3, 1879.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09

eral Gilchrist's remark about
voting "dry" In Eustis and "wet"
in Tampa, for il does not sound
at all like him. We are unable to
give the generals version OF it,
because we have not seen him
since bis alleged remark was pub
lished
Upon careful reflection, we feel
quite sure that what General Gil
christ intended to say and may
have said was, that a man who,
for business reasons, voted "lryn
in Eustis, would, for the same
reasons, vote ''wet'' in Tampa,
leaving it to be inferred that a
man acting from principle would
vote the same way in either city.
We base this conclusion on the
fact that General Gilchrist work
ed for the dry" ticket and voted
"dry' in this county some years
ago when neither he nor any one
else knew the predominant senti-
ment here, and it was due to his
efforts that Punta Gorda gave
the biggest "dry" majority Of any
place in the county. Further, we
know General Gilchrist to be a
man of principle, and he will
not take any stand for any
other consideration than principle,
as is evidenced by the fact that he
openly refuses to ''mount the band
wagon" of State prohibition solely
for the sake Of the votes that he
might get by so doing.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09
Easy to Misquote.

In these days of strenuous exer.
lions to get up an interesting
newspaper and to elect good men
to Office, it is easy to misupder-
stand, to misconstrue, to misquote.
Florida editors rarely do these
things Intentionally and, there
fore, when they do commit such
errors they ought not to be de-
nounced but corrected IN that gen
tie and amiable manner so char
acteristic of the Ocala Banner and
the Pensacola journal. The edit
ors OF those two papers are verita-
BILE journalistic Chesterfelds, and
there are others "too numerous TO
mention. "
But what we started out to
say is that we believe that Brother
Newell, of the Eustis Lake region,
misunderstood and, therefore,
un'ntentionalIy misquoted Gen
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09
A Word for Old Friends.

The editor Of this paper feels a
keen interest in the candidacy of
his old and valued friends who
are ruuning for Office in different
counties. Their kindness and 10y
atty to him in days gone by justi-
fes him in speaking a good word
for them now in the hope that it
may contribute to their succeso.
One of them, w. L. Chapman,
who is a candidate for sheriff of
Orange county, was recently men
TONED in this paper. Now we
wish to speak in behalf of several
others.
Charles M. Knott, candidate for
circuit clerk of Hillsborough
county, does not need our feeble
help, for he has held that Office for
a little over three years past and
in that time has proved to the
people of that county that there is
no better, more capable or oblig-
ing circuit clerk in the whole
State of Florida. He is probably
the most accomplished circuit
clerk in the State, and, being a
man of the highest integrity, it is
not likely that an appreciative
people will put some one else in
his place. If they do, we will pc
tition Governor Gilchrist to APP
point him clerk of one of our new
counties.
John p. Galloway, another old
Lake county friend, is running for
sheriff of Marion county. He has
lived in Ocala long enough for the
people up there to know that they
cannot find a better man for the
Office. For years, he was sheriff
of Lake county and in the dis
charge of the duties of the Office
gave complete satisfaction to all
the people. His experience emf
nently fits him to give the same
satisfaction in Marion.
Allan Rodgers, the noted good
roads expert, an old Marion coun-
ty friend of nearly thirty years
loyalty, is a candidate for the leg |
islature from Duval county. Not
even Senator Mann Is a more
earnest advocate or more compe-
tent builder of good roads than
Allan; and IL he gets to the legis-
lature, we are quite likely to have
some practical legislation on the
good roads subject, to which Allan
has devoted years of practical
study. Besides this, he has seyer-
Al excellent planks in his platform
which should win him many votes.
He is not a prohibitionist, but as
Duval will not send a prohibition
st to the legislature, the people
Of that county would do well TO
wall themselves Of Aliens hon
,sty and ability by electing him.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09

Col. Thomas Jefferson Apple
yard, of the Lake City Index, ha,
succumbed to the Establishment,
of the Tallahassee Democrat ant
other newspapers and decided tc
run against Hon. A. G.. Groom
for State comptroller All right,
colonel; if we cannot help you,
we will fling no stones at you and
dig no pits in your path; and if
you win the nomination, we will
yell for you and vote for you un-
Ill the polls close.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09

There are several localities
known TO this writer, which are
regarded as Stockton strongholds,
but they will give majorities for
Gilchrist. 1t would not be good
policy to name them and thu, give
The opposition chance to try to
reverse sentiment there.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09

What assurance has Lee county
that she will get drainage under
either Mr.. Stockton or Mr.
Brownies Neither of them have
promised it, but both are openly
pledged to make Lee county and
the rest of the State dry"
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09

Joe HUMPHREYS has put on his
lighting clothes and is telling
men TO their face that they are
s'liars and slanderers.'' We shall
expect to hear soon of black eyes
and dislocated noses in Braden-
town.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09
A Specimen Argument"

We are surprised that such a
high toned paper as the Live
Oak Democrat should quote with
apparent Al proval the following
rubbish or, dited to the DeFuniak
Herald:
"Everything else being equal,
we prefer to vote for q governor
with a good wife, rather than vote
for q man with three monkeys and
no wife. Men who prefer mon
KEYS to women, cannot expect
men who prefer women to mon
KEYS to vote for them, The man
who pets monkey and ignores a
woman, deserves Il wOman's sc0rn.
Such candidate, if he should
succeed not being prohibitions
list, might turn the governors
mansion fitted up by the State for
human society into a free menag-
erie"
Tbs above is a fair specimen Of
the alleged argument" being
used against Gen Gichrist and is
about as good as any that the OPP
position has to offer. 1t is not an
appeal to reason, but simply
a ridiculous attempt to excite
prejudice against man who is
noted throughout the entire State
for his devotion to womankind.
Thousands Of ladies who have met
General Gilchrist know that the
implied charge that he "prefers
monkeys to women" is as false
aud ridiculous as any campaign
malice can be.
The writer of tho foolishness
attributed to the DeFuniak Her.
aid is evidently one of those vino
are utterly incapable of appeciat-
ing the beautiful moral sentiment
conveyed by General Gilchrist's |
three monkeys, otherwise no might |
act upon the lesson taught by them
to "see no evil, hear no evil,
speak no evil" That is the best
plank in any mans platform and
it belongs to General Gilchrist ex.
clusiveIy. Instead of initiating
against him, it should win him
thousands of votes.
In the straits to which they are
put to find something against him,
his enemies charge him also with
the crime of being supported by
the corporations. We do not
know whether this is true or not
and we do not care, but, in view
of the accusation, il may be ask
ed if the corporations are expect
cd to support their declared enc
mics, Messrs. Stockton, and
Browne, in preference to General
who has announced his
intention to give them as we'll as
the people "a square deall"
Would not the corporations be
great fools if they did not, under
tho circumstances, support Gener-
Il Gilchrist9
But the fact that the corpora
ions may he supporting him can
not be taken to mean that he will
oetray the people, for no one can
ieny that he is a man of honor,
Incapable of lreachery or anything ,
Use that is base, and we know him
% be a genuine patriot thoroughly
devoted to the best interests of
florida.
#
Eaex, - Ms~~A.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09

II Editor Hetherington, of the
Lakeland News, wants to be State
superintendent of public instruc-
ton, here's n vote for him.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09

Lee county is "wot'' in both
senses Of the word; therefore, she
will take drainage in hers, even
though il comes with State pro-
hibition.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09

The editor of the Tampa Times
ia suffering for watermelon; in
deed, no is crying for one.
Internationally condition he is
iDl
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09
THURSDAY, APRIL o, 1908.

All communications intended
Cor publication in THE HERALD
must be type written,
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09
Mr.. Walter Hunt. of jackson

Mr.. Walter Hunt, of jackson.
vile, after seeing several million
blossoms on the trees of several
orange groves, estimates next
seasons crop at 100000 boxes.
But Mr.. Hunt should consider
that it takes great many bios
SONS to make one orange and that
the protracted dry weather has
been and still is cutting off the
coming crop at the rate of fifty
thousand or more boxes a day.
And the summer and autumn gales
% yet to come. Upon the whole,
s,sthink Mr.. Hunt is a few
.',o,,h rs too previous with his esti-
mate.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09

Wemittances should be made by check postal
note, money order or regstered letters : and
AGENT stamps will be received In payment of
mall amounts
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-04-09

Advertising tsates--space rates depend great
on position In the paper and will be furn'
ithod on application. Local notices, 10 cents
per line each insertion. Legal advertise
nents will he published only at rates pre-
scribed bv law
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27
Burning Hereties,

The following items, copied frCm the
municipal records of Canterbury by an
English magazine, show that the burn
ing Of heretlcs in 1885, the time of the
genial King Henry VIII, was an In
expensive amusement:
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27
Selections
CRATER LAKE.
a Drowned Out Volcano-lts Waters
Are 1000 Feet Deep.


The new Crater lake, National park,
IN oregon, already bids fair to rival
as resort for the tourists the famous
Yosemite valley. People are begin
ming to visit in great Plumbers, attract
cd by the unique and spectacular seen.
ic features which il offers, and the APP
proach to It, hitherto somewhat diff
cult Is being made much easier by a
railroad now in process Of construction.
Crater lake gets its name from the
fact that 1t occupies the crater Of an
extinct volcano. Five miles in diam.
eter and nearly circular i'm shape it Is
the deepest body of fresh water In
America. Soundings have fixed its
depth at 1000 feet, Only one lake In
the world, that of Balkal, is deeper-by
400 feet. In other respects however,
II is altogether unique. Encircled as
1t Is by almost vertical cliffs. which
are reflected in the clear and brilliant
blue of the water, 1t presents to the
eye a spectacle unsurpassed.
SIS great natural and scenic fca-
ture of this country Crater lake ranks
with Niagara falls and the Grand Can.
yOn of the Colorado. 1t Is unique aud
in IT'S way unriyalcd. There are in the
United States hundreds of extinct vol
canlc craters, but this is our only
great one.
Think of It! This mighty hole in the
summit of tbs Cascade range is near
~ six miles IN diameter and over two.
thirds of nile I'm depth. Once upon
a time It wac dlIcd with boiling lava.
Today 1t contains n beautiful lake OF
fresh wafer which is cncirClcd by II
ring cf pro .'pitous cliffs from 800 TO
$500 feet righ without break or out
| let.
The extraordinary depth of the lake
| naturally led to widespread popular
belief to the effect that II had no bot
tom. 1t II n familiar kind OF delusion,
| Any small body of water, wherever
| found. whose bottom Is beyond reach
! by the longest fishing line is sure t.
gain the rcpute of being bottomess
Within two miles Of New Haven
| Conn, Is n cleft I'm the hills that is Oc
cupied by large pond called Lake
SaltOnstall, Though considerably less
than 200 feet in depth, II is declared
by people who live in its neighborhood
to have no bottom. No wonder, then
that Crater lake. with an actual dcptl
of 1000 feet should be imagined &c
possess no foor ateverL-Technlca
World
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27

Try an ad in The Mirror Want
Column.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27
Many lanauanss Of Mexico.

During the fiesta of Christmas or the
week of All Souls and All Saints, when
the Indians swarm down from the
mountains with their holiday wares
for sale, visitors in the City of Mexico
may notice the strange language that
the vendors use In addressing each
other. Even when they turn to serve
the purchaser their Spanish is neither
Castilian nor Mexican, but is frequent
ly broken by peculiar syllables and
accents. This is merely an illustra-
tion of the fact that the Indian Ian
guages of old Mexico have not been
entirely submerged by the conquering
Spanish, and in some of the most re-
mote districts of the republic various
and distinct languages handed down
from the pre-Columbian era are still
spoken In their pristine purity by many
tribe members.-Mexican Herald.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27
Twain's Emancipation.

An honorary degree was once con-
fcrred on Mark Twain by n humble in
Gtitution In a Missouri town that had
known him when he was playing Tom
Sawyer there in real life.
1t happened that the degree confer
ring cermonies took place one lazy day
in June when newspapers generally
were suffering from a total collapse OF
everything in the way of news.
One New York news editor rakeC
the land with figurative fine tootl
comb and got dry haul for his pains
Then. recalling that Mark Twain was
getting his honorary degree that very
day, 1t occurred TO him that message
direct from the famous author might
relieve the situation in the news. Aft
er much scratching of the editorial
idea factory he evolved this query
which was transmitted to Mark Twain
by wire:
How does it feel to be q doctor of laws
Please wire answer at our expense.
After n walt of several hours this
characteristic response came hot ovel
the wire from Missouri
1t feels like emancipation from ignorancc
and vice. MARK TWAIN.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27
Riding a Camel In the Desert.

DIR, Nachtigal, the celebrated African
explorer, was the guest of rich Ham
burg merchant. The m ..-Aant's son, q
young man Of a somewhat sentimental
temperament, said among other things
that his dearest wish was to ride across
the desert on the back Of a camel. He
thought such ride must be very poet.
ical indeed.
"My dear young friend" replied the
explorer, 'T can tell you how you can
get partial idea of what riding a
camel on the deserts OF Africa is like
Take an office stool, screw 1t up as
high as possible and put 1t in a wagon
without any springs. Then seat your.
self on the stool and have It driven
over rocky and uneven ground during
the hottest weather of July or August
and after you have not had anything
to eat or drink for twenty-four hours
and then you win get a faint idea OF
how delightfully."- poetic it is to ride on
a camel in the wilds of Africa"
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27

When | was a young man Lady Jer-
sey was one of the leaders of fashion,
and her house was the resort of poll.
tlcians and others. With her lived her
daughter, Lady Clementine Villiers, a
handsome and clever girl. The custom
had been established that all friends
should give the latter a present on her
birthday, and these presents We're set
out in an antechamber. Among these
friends was Lord Brougham, then an
old man. He called on birthday, but
had forgotten what the occasion was,
and had brought no present Seeing a
mass of presents laid out, he seized one
OF them and took It in as his present,
rightly counting that the young lady
would not remember that 1t was one
that already had been given TO her,
And very proud he was Of his pres
ence of mind. But, then, he was al
ex-lord chancellor.-London Truth.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27
Easy House Movino,

House moving is an easy task among
the Lakas, a tribe living near the La
gone river in the French Kongo, Az
RIGA. This tribe, which is one Of the
most superb examples of the savage
black race, lives in conical shaped huts
constructed OF plaits Of tough straw.
When a change in location is desired,
both the women and the men put their
shoulders to the task and carry the
roofs of their homes TO the new site,
sometimes many miles distant The
circular walls of the huts are rebuilt
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27
Who Whips?

The clergyman's little son was tell
ing the small son of a parishioner OF
the dreadful fights which he and his
sister INDUCED in.
"You don't mean TO say that minis
ters' children fghtT" replied the horrl
fed little layman.
"0h, yes"
"Who whipsp
Mamma. ."-Exchange
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27
Inspiring Hope.

The Doctor-Bear up. l must tell
you the worst-you can't possibly re.
cover. The Client-Thats a pity, for
If I'd lived bit longer l should have
come into fortune. AS 1t is, haven't
Il penny to pay you with, doctor. Ths
Doctor-Wel, now, don't give MP hope.
Wen try ia mend you, Wen try.-Il.
lustrated Bits.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27
EuII Of Il.

Mrs. Caterby-Tn a short time now
we win do all our heating by alcohol.
Caterby-Thats good. All Wen have
10 do will be to connect your Uncle
Jake to the furnace and range.--Life.
The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-27
BRINGING heletIo from Lon.

BY the streets OF "by and by" one
arrives at the house OF "never"-Cer'
Vantes.
The Bemidji daily pioneer. [volume] (Bemidji, Minn.) 1904-1971, 1908-11-26

Of this generation have our own prob
lens to, solve, and the condition Of our
solving them is that we shall all work
together as American citizens without
regard to differences Of section or
creed or birthplace, copying not the d.
visions which so lamentably sundered
our fathers one from another, but the
spirit of burning devotion to duty
which drove them forward, each to do
the right as it was given him to see
the right, in the great years when
Grant, Farragut, Sherman, Thomas
and Sheridan, when Lee and Jackson
and the Johnstons, the valiant men Of
the north and the valiant men Of the
south, fought to finish the great civil
war. They did not themselves realize
in the bitterness of the struggle that
the blood and the grim suffering mark
ed the death throes Of what was worn
out and the birth pangs Of a new
and more glorious national life. Mighty
is the heritage which we have received
from the men of the mighty days. We
in our turn must grid up. our loins to
meet the new issues with the same
stern courage and resolute adherence
to an ideal which marked our fathers
who belonged to the generation Of the
man in whose honor we commemorate
this monument today.