davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-31
All Wind.

All WiHO.
In country church n young minis
ter used in his sermon for an illustra-
ton of storm anu peace the storm Oh
the lake of Galilce. That storm was
depicted as one Of lightning and thiln-
der and rain and wind. AS he came
out of tbc church one of the members
tackled him, saying:
THAT was wonderful description
Of thine of the storm. Who told You
il Numbered and lightcned anu rain
ed:"
"W'hy. those a"o IN" natural accom-
Danimcnts OF storm.
"If YOU had read your BtDle you
would have seen that it WAS storm
of wind. just like yours.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-31
.in-il Fool Par.,T.

There will be an "April Fool Par
tv" at Four Holes school house on
Saturday .-sterpoon next. he pubic
are invited to attend and have lo!-
" time.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-31
Killing Cinnamon.

Killing Cinnamon.
A schoolmaster. wishing to impress
upon his class the great population OF
china. said, The population OF Cnina
is so great that two Chinamen die
every time you take breath"
This information made deep i'm
preston upon his young pupils, par
ticularly Ole small boy at the foot OF
the class. His face was flushed, anu
he was putting furiously.
What Is the matter:' inquired the
schoolmaster, with alarm. What on
earth are you doing, Tommy"
"Kllling Cinnamon, sir. / don't like
them foreigners what me father calls
aliens, so I'm getting rid of them as
fast as l can."-Ladies Home Journal.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-31
Mo Exceptions to This Rule.

No Exceptions to This Rule.
willie" said fond mother earnest
ly, you should go to bed early Early
to bed and early to rise ma man
healthy, wealthy and wise. know.
You should go to bed with the sun-the
chickens go to bed with the sun.'
YES. | know they do. mamma, but
the old hen-shc always goes with
emu
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-31
Major l.. 7. iZiar.

Major. L. r. Izlar, of Ocala. i
was in the city last week visiting III
brothers. He left Friday for Barn
we'll
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-31
MAY CAUSE A SMILE
A COLUMN OF LIGHT READING
THAT WILL BE ENJOYED
BY All Who Like to Read Funny

BY All Who Like to Read Funny
and Witty Sayings from the Mag
azines and Papers.
Fixing the Error.
A teacher in Connecticut district
school gave one OF her pupils these two
sentences to correct:
1.-THE hen has three legs"
"Who done it?''
The little fellow looked at his slate
q minute and then seriously wrote:
"The hen didn't done it. God done
it."-Lippincotts.
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-31
From Different Points.

From Different Points.
Father. you were born In Califor-
MIA. you say?'
Yes. my SON."
"And mother was born in New York?'
"Yes."
"And was born in Indiana"
"Yes, my boy"
."Wel, father don't it beat the Dutch
how we all got together.'
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-31
His Great Error.

His Great Error.
While at the head Of course on rail-
ways ut Harvard Il few years ago.
Professor Hugo Il. Meyer had occasion
to give his class q few figures having
to do with car mile prices. When the
course met again he apologized in
voice bowed down by weight Of woe
for q mistake he had made
81 said that the figures for such and
such were 5.OO6952S2," he explained In
his contrition. That was not exact.
should have said 5.OO695oS3."
The times and democrat. [volume] (Orangeburg, S.C.) 1881-current, 1908-03-31

To Be Continued.)
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1908-10-09

X O Tx C 30a $500 a
amy with branch traiu
Us 40 an local points ia
T. PUEDY. Agent.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1908-10-09

l.. Medler and D. K. B. Sellers. both Colonies,
Who VIII Be in Command of Tomorrow Big
Wild West Show. This Picture Was Taken
During the FIRST Rehearsal.
Albuquerque morning journal. [volume] (Albuquerque, N.M.) 1903-1926, 1908-10-09
SANTA FIX TIME TABLE.
(ETcctlve June IL, IOOs.)


carlsbad
no. ~. From carlsbad Roswell
and AUTEriHu 10 .
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27
An Old
Salts
Yarn.

had not been long in the water and decided that
it, like ourselves, was victim of last nights storm
This gave us courage for we knew that we could
mt be far from shore.
Hold steady till stand up and take bearings"
But tree is roy thing, and over i went, and
Gordon with it. l was laughing at him when back
bobbed up with my mouth full of water. for it had
been open laughing Gordon when | went in, he
popped up the other side.
station!"
was glad he of such good humor, for it S
no fun being wrecked with man who thinks he.
going to die any minute. We climbed aboard again
Let S put our yard across underneath; that IL
steady u.s., | suggested.
This we did without much trouble. Next, with
great care, | got upon, my feet. balancing like
tight-rope walker. But could mt anything but
AS could do nothing but wait and how
things turned out, we tried to make ourselves as
comfortable possible. But after time com
menced to feel pretty hungry, and thirsty too. And
we discovered that our tree was cocoanut, and
fairly we'll filled with the fruit. We found them
1--WE We struck it, old man. said Gordon. Our
mafI k the sn ne TO
her shaking-up. while we are loating and living on
cocoanuts. 1t s regular pcnic!'
l did Mt see it just Gordon did, but still, | ap-
preciated the cocoanuts.
Well, we had good meal of cocoanuts, and began
on our tree. Occasionally the gulls came and had a
look at u.s. and we were glad to see them they were
some We could MT Keep our eyes open. and every
little while would fall into doze; but each time
went, and woke up to find ourselves splash
ing about in the water
This won't do" said Gordon; "Im going to
perch in the branches"
"By-by, Renaud," l heard him say little later;
and l could bear him cracking around among the
, branches of our tree but it too dark to see.
l finally made up scheme for sleeping, though it
MT exactly perfect. l stretched my face.
my feet each side of the trunk and my hands on
the yard, which lay across underneath. This bal
anced me pretty we'll; but sometimes, just as l was
dropping into nice nap, wave would lap up and
smack in the face. These little surprise parties
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27

= y
y!
y.
Y Y y

middle of hot night bowling squall struck us we
all were greatly surprised That's the worst OF those
tropical calms-you can't count on them. Down
drops hurricane upon you when you least expect
it.
) The captain piped out in hurry, to get in the
sails But the gale quick for us, and the
topsails tearing themselves to pieces while we
were getting in the foresas. | never heard such a
racket before. The wind shreked through the rig
ging and the waves, which had come up in minute,
so it seemed, splashed and spattered around us in
terrible rage. The ship down on her BEAM
ends, shooting along like streak OF lightning
Everything was tearing and cracking We thought
the would be torn out of her.
Gordon and l had climbed out the yard to reef
sea; what with the banging of the loose sail and the
fear of being washed off, we had a hard time
Rather lively" Gordon shouted to me. How do
you like it?"
II don't like it," howled back.
The words scarcely out of my mouth. and
blowing out to sea, when, crash! down banged
into great l gripped tight and held on.
Ripl Tear! Crash! The topmast. gave way, An,
other wave another wrench and the yard. sail, and
all were torn off and sailing about on their own
hook But the worst of it was, they had taken Cor
den and along.
Here's pretty kettle of fish, Gordon 5
out the salt water. Cool chap, that Gordon!
You can believe held to that yard. The
night black pitch. We could mt see ten feet
ahead of US. But and then hghtnng-t flash
gave us quick glimpse of waves and more waves,
but no ship. She probably seudding way under
bare poles at the rate of mile minute.
When the day broke were glad to see the light.
though it did Mt help matters much Still it's kind
of satisfaction to be able to exactly how things
are All that day the still somewhat high
though the wind had gone down quickly as it had
come up.
What possible escape could there be for us? That
was the question ! put it to Corden
. "Just hold on a while and shall see," his
answer.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27

and prepare make meal of him.
"Oh, oh, obi" cried the wretched donkey. What
you doing?"
y am very hungry indeed replied the lion
Don't interrupt me-.
But you promised solemnly me-
pleaded Silly.
Pooh, pooh!" the wicked lion answered 81
don't remember saying anything OF the sort. OF
course am going to eat you"
The poor donkey gave himself up for lost, and be-
gan bemoan his fate. Il think it is very unfair,
he whimpered
WHAT roared his captor. do you dare to say
that l unfair? Now you deserve die, and |
shall you without the least hesitation; and he
dashed his sides with his wicked tail and growled
horribly.
Well" whined the miserable donkey "all can
say is that it is unfair, and any might ask
be Judge would say the same"
The lion, greatly enraged this about be-
gin his dinner at once, when sudden thought
into his evil old head. "If he get some else
into this business to be judge, he reflected what
is to prevent me from having the judge himself for
breakfast tomorrow? That 5 fine ideat'
SO, to Silly astonishment, the hon, who had been
holding his prey tightly-and it hurt, too,-removed
mis- paws and allowed him get up. Then the
wicked old brute addressed him. Donkey he said
you have remarked that any judge would say that
| unfair. Now will find judge and see
about it, and | only hope, that when he hears the
case, it will not be the worse for you, SIR
Silly was so bewildered that his poor foolish head
could not understand it ALL and he only winked and
by the off they down the road to find Judge
Before they had gone far they met the very great
grandpapa of all rabbits. He remarkable old and
gray. and looked If he surprisingly foolish,
which was far from being the case, however, as you
shall
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27
u!
NJ
N

to us, for we forgot that we were moving. AT last
through the darkness could the white line.
And now wondered how to land, whether
among rocks sandy beach. Landing in surf
is tcklish business.
Soon got in the big swells and dashed
ahead. All! we savedi Ii long sandy
beach The next minute riding in on the
of the wave. The surf broke and threw A
splurge, scramble and rush, and, our hands
and knees sprawling the sand, while
the white surf Tapped up around our feet. Gordon
got up; ! got up Then silently shook hands;
but did mt say anything.
We sat down the beach and waited for the day
light. And when il came, to great JOY. we heard
the familiar creaking of blocks We hurried around
bend of the beach, and there, before US, was our
ship. She had put in to repair damages They
had given us up for lost, of course; but here we
WERE none the worse for sail cocoanut-tres.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27

Here cried the lion; here s rabbit He will
make avery good breakf- l mean judge. Go ahead
and ask him."
So Silly the donkey explained the affair to the
rabbit, who sat up attenvey and scratched his ear,
looking more foolish than
That is very complicated' he remarked when the
donkey had finished. Would you mind saving it
again. 1t is MT quite clear to me-"
Well, Silly repeated the story at length, explaining
it all very carefully.
Dear DEAR" said the rabbit "that is very curious
| do not quite understand yet how you to be
in the trap"
u was MT in the trap" cried Silly. at was the
lion"
"Oh -yes-th the lion" replied the rabbit How
stupid of me! But, really, could understand it bet
ter, know, if we went right to the place where it
happened"
The lion was rather vexed at the delay, but he
could think of reasonable excuse, off the three
trap again
Now" said the rabbit, eff you will just say that
all over again from the beginning. think
derstand it,; which Silly did while the lion waited
hungrily wondering if he had mt better eat his dim
ner and breakfast together.
Now seer" the rabbit cried. THE lion
walking down the road when he the trap"
NO nor interrupted Silly. Il walking down
the road, and l the lion in the trap.
oh yes; of course" said the rabbit. "You were
walking in the trap, and the lion saw"
mo. no, no! stupid thngr' roared the lion
Can't you understand anything -
Dear. dear my poor braint' cried the rabbit I
yes. you shall, though" the lion growled for he
was very angry at such stupidity. You shall UNI
derstand it. say Now listen"
yes, my lord lion,' whimpered the rabbit n
will try
COPYRIGHT ~ rns CENTURY COMPANY
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27

freshened, and the sail drew. Slowly crawied
through the water-but ever slowly
eve III have to away lot of those branches
to make any Roadway" told Gordon.
So Gordon hacked some of them off, though he
careful to the with cocoanuts.
Then we commenced really to sail The wind
kept coming from the sea, we knew that in time
would reach land, unless sail blew over OF
this very much afraid.
1t dark. and still land We COM
menced to feel discouraged We did MT try to sleep
that night at all: looking for shore and
could mt think of anything else. When it was
nearly morning we heard dull roar. We strained
to listen.
ut S surft' shouted Gordon.
at s surff' cried after him.
Louder and louder could hear the noise. The
surf coming nearer and nearer, it seemed
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27

he thought he could see land. breeze had sprung
up. '9tfssH
Let S try and get up SAIL" suggested. And
glad to do anything to relieve the monotony
of just drifting We got out the broken yard with
its piece OF sail still hanging to it But getting it up
was big job. Finally, after working hard all day.
and taking many sudden tumbes into the sea, we
managed lash it up against the end of the tree
trunk. We had knives,-sailors never lose their
knives you know.-and needed them here 1t
MT very solid. but stayed it from the trunk
with the rigging which still hung to it.
We decided to wait for the daylight before hoist
ing our SAIL so slept as best could for another
night. But we were awake early the next morning
That sa-dea was on our minds | had been dream
ing about it all night We got the sail The wind
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27

though not the worst things in the world, were mt
as good as a hammock.
We'll, what s the bill of fare for breakfast,
Renaud" he asked, coffee milk? guess II try
milk There 5 cocoanut milk to-day"
We tapped two cocoanuts and made pretty good
meal.
To make long story short, foated around in
this way for three days.
On the fourth day we had grown very tired of that
tree. Gordon, who was always the lookout, said
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27
TWOnenOVerbOard

1t looked as if we d hold on until we got pretty
tired of it, ! thought to myself.
"Huo, tree!" suddenly cried Gordon. eve must
be pretty land That s encouraging
"A might drift across the ocean, objected
rather gloomily. >--.i
AS it rose on the top of a wave we saw that it was
a big one and that its leaves still green. That
encouraging.
"S'pose we change boarding houses suggested
Gordon The tree is roomy. We can climb
up on it and be comfortable. 1t looks home
like tool used to live farm"
He 70 at
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27
| BY
| E. Boyd Smith.

- was in 62 and, with good cargo of logwood
7 aboard, cruising along the coast,
Il trying to get into the track of the trade
winds for straight home. The wind
was pretty light and we had every sail set
still we didn't make much Roadway. We
were SO used to calm weather that
thought of any sudden change, and when, in the
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27

Now. I in the trap when the donkey came
down the road. Do you that?"
Yes yes" cried the rabbit; 81 think but, please,
do quite about the trap How did you get in "
WHY, through the door, idiotP'
But but - oh, dear me, my poor head 1t is such
very small door. How could you get in?"
Here you foolish, stupid thing; II show YOU;
and the lion marched into the trap. Now, do you
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27

Fine as silk he called back he clambered up
it. Room for another passenger. Come along
Renaud. and get aboard"
Let s have timber just the same" l sug-
gested 1T may come handy in some way"
So between managed to push wreck
to the and make it fast. Our tree was
fine big one and foated quite comfortably 1t
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27

see m in the trap"
Perfectly" replied the clever rabbit he quickly
fastened the door; "and, what is more, l think yoa
will stay there this time Good by.
And the rabbit and Silly stroled off down the ROAD
Just merry crickets leaving the wicked old lioa
to roar with rage till the villagers finally hearing the
him off.
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27

spoiled my dreams. But I stopped them by facing
to leeward, SO that the struck only in the
back of the head You get used almost any
thing, and pretty soon I was comfortably snoozing
Gordon was doing the same. for could hear him
snoring like our fog-horn on board ship.
We slept we'll into the morning and woke up
feeling crarnped. Gordon complained that branches
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27

roaring so lOuQIv That the donkey
stopped in amazement Indeed it was remarkable
that the villagers had not heard the rumpus long be-
fore and come out and killed him. but perhaps the
wind was the other way. Silly stood looking at the
lion for some time, and finding that he securely
trapped. began to question the royal brute, saying:
What you doing in there, Lion?
LET me outi' roared the other. Let out at
once, you miserable slave!'
"Oh. yes!" sneered Slly-who did not have very
good manners, for it is undoubtedly impolite to
sheer Let you and then get eaten for my trou-
blei think not. | not foolish as that, thank
YOU and he laughed with pleasure, 'Hee-ee-augh!'
for he considered himself very fine fellow indeed.
The lion saw that this would mt do so he changed
his tone and began to beg and fatter instead OF
threatening.
Donkey he said in his most winning voice, you
certainly are very handsome and clever chap. And
/ wish you would kindly push up that wretched bar
which holds the door shut and then get out.
Will you do that, you kind and wise donkey?
"You can't CANNON me-, was the reply. don't
want to be eaten.
"Eatenr cried the lion in the most injured tone
he could manage What ever put that thought into
your head. wonder. How could YOU imagine SUCH
a thing? I do not my friends, Never! And he
looked as mild as milk, the deceitful old rascall
Naturally enough Silly pleased at being called
the lions friend and donkeylike. he raised the bar
which held the door. while the lion pushed from the
inside, and in a moment he free And the very
FIRST thing he did was to knock down poor Silly
The Richmond palladium and sun-telegram. [volume] (Richmond, Ind.) 1907-1939, 1908-06-27
A S X II III e n A B b I II
l LITTLE STORY FROM THE HINDUsTANI.
BY LANES b BENEDICT.

HERE was once silly donkey who went
one day stro,ling down the road, chew
ing bit of thistle and feeling as fine as
a June morning. Presently he came to
trap where a lion had been caught and
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-12-11
Aunt Harrlet'e omnlpotenee.

In the Beecher family the name OF
Mrs. Stowe was often quoted to the
rising generation as one having au.
thority. On one occasion a grand.
niece Of Mrs. Stowe became very
angry at playmate and, stamping her
foot, said: II hate you, and l don't
want anything more to do with you,
nor your man servant, nor your maid
servant, nor your OK, nor your ass"
Her mother sternly reproved her,
asking her IL she knew what she was
saying. Little Miss Beecher promptly
replied: Yes, the ten command
mends."
We'll, do you know who wrote
them?"
The child, looking disgusted, an
swered: Goodness, yes! Aunt Harriet
did, l s'pose. Journal
Perrysburg journal. (Perrysburg, Wood Co., O. [Ohio]) 186?-1965, 1908-12-11

II" said Mr., Piper, in voice more
than tinged with sarcasm.
Yes said his niece, "that's what
put 1t into my head"
TITS very kind of you, dear, and
very kind of Mr.. Piper" said Mrs.
Cox, "but couldn't think of 1t,
really couldn't"
Uncle would be delighted" said
Mrs. Berry.
Mr.. Piper shifted even as she spoke,
but not at the sea.
And I'll come for him the day after
tomorrow" said Mrs. Berry.
1t was the old story of the stronger
will; Mrs. Cox after a feeble stand
gave way altogether.
Several days after the quiet OF the
house was broken by the return of its
master, whose annoyance, when he
found the drawing-room clock stolen
and a man in possession, was alarming
in its vehemence. He lectured his
wife severely on her mismanagement,
and after some hesitation announced
his intention of going through her
books. Mrs. Cox gave them to him,
and, armed with pen and ink and four
square inches of pink blotting-paper,
he performed feats of balancing which
made him a very Blondin of finance.
Il can't help it" said Mrs. Cox. wip-
ing her eyes. I'm sure I've done all
I could to keep home together. l
can't even raise money on anything"
Mr.. Cox, who had been glancing
round the room again, looked up
sharply.
why not?" he inquired.
"The brokers' man." said Mrs. Cox.
nervously; hes made an inventory of
everything, and he holds us respon-
sible."
Mr.. Piper, who was already very
tired of his imprisonment, looked up
curiously as he heard the door pushed