Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-04-17
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steady! Keep cool London Bystand-
err
What do you think of the slmplifed
spelling?" 1T would be all right If it
wasn't so hard to learn. Detroit Free
Press.
They seem to live happily togeth-
err" Yes; he let's his wife select his
necktles and his stenographers -
Nashville American.
They seem TO be having duet in
| the next suite" Yes, the man is prac-
ticing on the cornet while his wife
talks. - Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Karr-What makes you think that
you are going to succeed in business?
Bagster-Because my partner has
$50oooo Somerville Journal.
Il always try to treat my maid as
| II she We're a member of the family"
Gracious. how do you get her to put
up with itY'--Chicago Record Herald
Don't you ever get homesick, cap
tainF asked the passenger on the
ocean liner mo: I'm never home long
enough" replied the captain. -phna-
delnhia Press,
Doliy-pardon me, dear. but you cut
a ridiculous figure ON the street yester-
day Polly--Oh, forgive me, dear! If
had seen you should have spoken
Cleveland Leader.
Bacon--Do you think II is proper for
/ IN co hnA 4.
back? Egbert Wen, IL he's trying to
button her dress, how can he help It?
Workers Statesman.
She--But. Fred, dear, fancy coming
In such shabby clothes when You are
going TO ask pas consent. Fred-Ar,
but, dearest. l once had new suit
ruined,-The Sketch.
Passenger Boatman, hadn't we bet
ter BAH her outf She's half full OF
water. Irish Boatman-och, niver
mind, sor. Sure she'll run over when
she's quite full" Punch.
'Fro what do you attribute your sue
cess in acquiring money! Partly to
the success of other men in letting go
OF It" replied the great tnancler.-
Philadelphia Public Ledger.
i've never had any great luck" de-
clared the pessiinist Neither have
~ admitted the optimst made my
; money by hard work and advertising"
Louisville Courier-Journal.
Plumber Have you got all we want
for Browns Job? Boy Yes. Plumber
-Wot? You 'aven't forgotten nothing
Bless my soul, ow d'you expect to make
a plumber THE Bystander.
The Dentist Now, open wide your
mouth and won't hurt you bit. The
Patient (after the extraction Doctor,
| know what Ananlas did for living
now-Chlcago Home Herald
The Artist So you can't use my
sketches then. Would YOU mind telling
me what you think OF them? The Edit
or-I can't now. there are some ladies'
In the next room.-Lesle's Weekly.
Justin" said Mrs, wyss. yes" re-
piled Mr.. Wyss "WiIl sou speak
kind word TO Fido and make him yag
his tail. He hasn't had che bit of eSer-
else all day. "--LippIncott's Magazine.
How did Harry snioy his "trip
abroadY VERY much he looks hap
by, and has gained 10 pounds" "Oae
hundred and fifteen poundsp Yes,
and she's an heiress. Brooklyn Life
The manager always keeps back a
portion OF the villains salary" why
does he do that-afraid he'd sklpY'
no; but he always acts his part better
when he's mad. St Louis Globe. Dem
ccrat.
You told me this ring was IRE
opal; an expert tells me 1t isn't any.
thing of the kind" my trent, you 20
tell dot eggspert he's liar NIT my COM
| bliments, Dot opal vas In four fires"
Life.
Charming Hostess (to dyspeptic
guest, who has been refusing dish after
dish) II am so distressed. You've had
no dinner nj all! Guest-Tbank you
but have to he very particular about
my food.-Puuch.
"Is my son getting we'll grounded in
the classlcsT asked the anxious mill
liouaire 81 would put It even stronger
| than that" replied the private tutor
II may say that he IS actually strand
cd ON them. Chicago Record Herald
Church-What's that piece Of cord
tied around your finger for? Gotham
My wife put 1t there to remind me to
mail letter. Church-And did you
mail It? Gotham-No; she forgot to
give It to me THE Congregatlonalist.
do you think Bllggins would make
a good husbandT asked the conscien-
tious youth why do you askf' in
CURED the girl, In surprise. Because
IL you think such a fool as Bliggins
could manage 1t, l have a good mind
to take chance myself. Washington
Star.
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