davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
AN VICTORIOUS WOUND.
The Hard Luck That Was Handed Out
to the Old Veteran.

The Hard Luck That Was Handed Out
to the Old Veteran.
On one Of the volunteer ranges in
the north Of England is a well known
old Irish sergeant, who has charge.
1t may be mentioned that be went
through three wars-the Crimean. the
Indian mutiny and the Chinese-and
during the whole Of that time never
received a single wound.
Old W., as he is called, occasionally
acts as a marker at the targets. and
his utter recklessness has become a
proverb.
He has been known to walk forth
from behind the mantelet without the
slightest warning and touch up a bulls
eye which did not quite satisfy him or
to note the exact position of a shot.
At all remonstrances he would sniff
contemptuously.
me be shot? Mey' he would ask
"Why. I've bin through three war-r-s
and was niver shot yet. Pah! Phwat's
a bit O. lead flying through the air?"
And he would assume an air of dis
gust.
1t actually occurred, however, at
last, and he was shot through the
shoulder.
For a moment. as frequently hap.
pens with rifle shots. such is their ter.
rible force. he did not know be was
struck; then when he observed the
blood streaming down his sleeve he
commenced to walk down the range.
right in The ice Of fire.
1t was seen that something was
wrong. and they hurried to meet him. |
As he did 81 he tottered and had to be |
carried.
Shot" he groaned, with i look of
shame. shot and by a Saturday after
noon soldier!"-London Tit-Bits.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

Hail, Frederick. Md, Mrs. Mclean
was much interested in American his
tory, to the study Of which she gave
much attention during her course at
the Frederick seminary. from which
she graduated in 1873. In 1888 she
married Donald Mclean, q New York
lawyer, descended from the General
John Mclean who fought in the Rev
olution and was commissary general of
the state Of New York under Governor
Clinton.
Apropos Of ancestry. Mrs. Mclean
once told Of a teacher who taught in a
poor neighborhood and received daily
gifts of flowers from one Of her pu-
pills, a ragged little boy. The flowers
were Of all sorts, sometimes costly hot
house blooms, sometimes simple, old
fashioned garden flowers. As a rule,
they were somewhat faded.
One day the boy brought the teacher
q great bouquet Of mauve orchids. To
be sure. they were much wilted, but
none the less it could be seen that they
mad once cost a great deal Of money.
The puzzled teacher as she took them
said:
Jimmy. where do you get all these
flowers that you give me? You don't
steal them, l hope?"
"Oh, no, ma'am,' the youngster an
swered; fathers III ash man."
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Her DARLING BOY.
His Mother Thought She Was Ooina
the Right Thing.

His Mother Thought She Was Doina
the Right Thing.
The small boys mother was the only
u who sat unnloved while the small
boy himself. most unwelcome addition
to the informal afternoon tea. gleefully
galloped around the circular table,
da1ntlly spread with silver and china
and lowered over by a cut glass lamp.
rs a spurious pony" shrilled the in
fant joyously as he tossed his flaxen
locks and twinkled his besocked legs
with ever increasing speed.
Mercy! He'll have the lamp over!"
shlvered a nervous young woman as
the human gyroscope stumbled over
the edge Of a rug. clawed at the table
for support. then triumphantly contin-
ued circling. Conversation froze or
pauid lips as they sat awaiting the in
evttahle crash. Only the voice of the
boys mother rippled along &C.
renely.
The nervous young woma could
stand it 40 longer In sheer despair
she ventured. Mrs. Archibald-er-
pardon me-your dear little boy
The lady addressed stared blankly,
then grasped the situation. NAL
colm!" she said sweetly. Malcolm.
dear. run around III the opposite direc-
ton, darling. Miss vinton's afraid
you'll make yourself giddy ."-Success
Magazine.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

~P~S~ = Nc
three years in June since he assumed
mis- present post. His immediate prede-
cessors. Messrs. Bowen and Loomis.
had each clashed with the Venezuelan
executive. and it was realized at the
time that Mr.. Russell's path would
not be strewn with roses. But he
had served as secretary Of legation at
Caracas for eight years and had got
along pretty amiably with every one
under both Mr.. LOOMS and Mr.. Bow
en- despite the troubles these Dip
lomats had with President Castro. It
was thought that If anybody could
keep on the good side Of the latter Rus
cell was the ma to do II, SO he wal
ame for the place. But be, too, has
found the complications Of Venezuelan
politics rather vexatious.
Minister Russell Is a son of an ad-
miral in the navy and is q graduate OF
the United States Naval academy at
Annapolis. He left the naval service
In 1883 and engaged in civil engineer
ing. For several years he was as
sistant engineer in charge Of the loca-
fion Of the railroad line from Merida
to Santa Barbara. in the state Of Los
Andes, Venezuela. He was appointed
secretary Of legation at Caracas in
1885, and later served as charge DAFT
faires at Panama and as minister to
Colombia. being transferred from the
latter post to his present one.
Edward B. Vreeland of Salamanca. /
N. T., author Of the financial measure |
introduced in the house Of representa-
tives as a substitute for the Aldricb |
Dill, Is regarded as n Of the coming
men in congress on the Republican |
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

Solue OF the money
In one corner and some in another. and
50 on With the four corners. And firm.
hard knots he made Of them before
handing the handkerchief over to its
owner.
1T CHANGED that Eliot on his way
nome fell in with a worthy woman
whose appearance told Of dire pov erty
and distress. He stopped to speak to
her. and pretty soon, his heart being
touched. he pulled out the handker.
chief He intended to give a sovereign
to her. For some time he tugged and
strained at the knots; but, try as he
might, the corners refused to come un.
tied. Then. calmly rolling the hand
kerchief up into a ball. the missionary
placed it in the astonished woman.s
hands. saying, My good woman l
think the Lord meant you to have it
ALL
THE ushers," DR.. Macarthur added.
now will pass the baskets for collec-
tion, and you a initiate John Eliot's
example-if you are so minded"
And the congregation dug deep.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Beecher's Weddino Fees.

When Coils p. Huntington was mar
r1ed for the second time Henry Ward
Beecher performed the marriage cere-
mony. H~untington's first wife had
been dead less than a year. and he de-
sired the second marriage kept secret
until his return from Europe. He gave
Mr.. Beecher Il marriage fee Of $500.
When Huntington returned some
months later he went through a pub
lie ceremony, and Reecher again ottici-
ated. He gave Reecher another fee Of
$500. The great preacher had his hu-
NOR aroused by his second fee. Turn
ing to Huntington, he said, "Collis, l
DO wish you We're a Mormon."-Lyce-
unite and Talent.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Tho Worlds Sugar Production.

An estimate by the British board Of
trade OF the sugar production Of the
world for 1906 makes a total Of l4,3lc..
no long tons, Of which 7,317.4.o tons
were cane and 6.99a.244 tons beet. the
production Of both kinds advancing
practically at the same rate since 1898.
In the production Of cane sugar Brit
tsh India had the largest output.
cc3 400 tons. and in beet sugar Ger.
many ranked first, with IN output Of
2362.1S tons In consumption Of sus.
ar per head Australia stands first with
100 pounds, the United States coming
next with 50 pounds and the Cn!ted
Kingdom following with 81 pounds.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
IN %PATRI0TISM's CAUSE.
Mrs. Donald Mclean Of the o. A. r.
and Her Career.

n Her Career.
1nheriting the qualities Of combutive-
ness from their Revolutionary ances-
tors, the members Of the much honored
patriotic society known as the Daugh-
tiers of the American Revolution gen
orally do a little polite verbal sparrin.
when they meet in their national con-
gress at Continental hall, Washington.
Let us make this congress notable for
its love and discord without a bicker.'
said the president general, Mrs. Don-
AID Mclean, on calling the seventeenth
congress to order recently. but despite
her appeals occasion soon arose for
the controversies almost i%nseparable
from the meetings of any large body.
Mrs. Mclean has occupied the post Of
president general Of the d. A. R. since
1905. She is a charter member Of the
order and "a regent of the New York
city chapter for ten years. She has
been commissioner from New York
state to several expositions, including
the jamestown Tercentennial.
AS Miss Emily Nelson Richie, daugh-
OF Judge John Richie Of Prospect
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
QUEER TEACHING.
A Glimpse of the One Time Methods
In Scotch Schools.

wv WV tBbC SuSSbtO0S
In Scotch Schools.
To the work Of supervisor of schools
in Scotland Mr.. John Kerr devoted a
number Of years. In his book, "Other
Memories, Old and New" he has set
down some amusing illustrations of the
unintelligent way in which the school
work was sometimes conducted.
The revised code of education which
was introduced in 1862 made provision
for nothing but reading, writing and
arithmetic in their barest forms. There
was no suggestion about grammar, ge-
ography, history Of intelligence in any
study. Explanation of the reading les
son was not demanded, and therefore
1t was neglected in some of the schools.
The following is an example:
The lesson was one giving an &C.
count of a clever dog which had res
cued a child from drowning. It vas
said that the dog was caressed by the
parents of the child. l asked what was
the meaning of the word "caressed,"
and the answer came at once, MADE
of fond led"
On referring to the list OF words at
the top of the page I found the ex-
PLANTATION given was, "made of, fon-
died"
Wishing to find out if any child In
the class had got a glimmering Of the
meaning, l went from top to bottom
and got from every child nothing but
made Of fond led" pronounced as four
words, to which they attached no mean
ing whatever.
The teacher was surprised that l was
not satisfied with the intelligence 0!
the teaching.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Legends Of tho Appte.

The apple enters o largely into
folklore and legend than almost n
other fruit. In England there was Of
old a peculiar dance in honor Of the
apple tree, and various songs were
sung and bowls Of cider emptied to Sc.
cure a good apple harvest from the
fates. In Germany the girls 'snap ap-
pie seeds" on New Years eve to see
from which direction a lover is COM
ing. In Austria a girl cuts an apple in
two at one blow and counts the seeds.
II there are Is many In one half as in
the other. she will marry. II they are
odd, she will be an old maid. II a seed
Is cut in two. she will quarrel with her
husband and be separated from him.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
All Bad 1urns,

Hi Tragerdy Your experience in
vaudeville. then, was not very pleas
ant!
Lowe Comerdy-No; at Woolyville
they threw rocks at each one Of US as
we came on for our acts.
Ri Targerdy-Pretty emphatic. eh?
Lowe Comerdy-Yes. In their efforts
to impress US with their utter disgust
they left no turn nnstoued.-Philadel-
phia Press.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Hard to Place Him,

us be an actor"
swell. | wouldn't want to cali hin,
that"
but be said he WAS connected wit,
the profession?"
"Yes; | know"
rs ne connected with It In some
mental forrn?"
oh, no! Iou see, IT'S difficult t. tell
just what to call him He is the man
that recites the plays into the funnel
for the new theatoriuln machine
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
The Retort

$50 this is your widely advertised
dollar table d'hote dinner. is it," said
the indignant would be diner us he
pushed aside an entree which he
could not masticate. why. this is the
last place in the world l would recon-
mend to friends"
Don't blame you. SIR" Slid the sad
faced waiter. "SenI your enemies
here."-New York Press.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

FIRST HINDOO TEMPLE IN AMERICA.
nanita. a noted Hindoo priest. He will
conduct Il school for the study Of San,
Skirt and of occult phenomena In ION.
nection with the religious ceremonies
Of the temple. The latter is q building
which has something Of an oriental
inspect, but which might easily be mis-
taken for an apartment house rather
a building for religious use. 1t Is
interesting as concrete evidence Of the
attempt to promote the occult faiths Of
the orient in the western world.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
HEALING RADIUM SPRING.
Curative Properties In Water Of Aus
TRAN Uranium Mines.

Curative Properties In Water Of Aus
TRAN Uranium Mines.
About eighteen miles from Carlsbad
Is the small town OF st. Joachimstal,
where the Austrian government has
Il Of its tobacco factories. and about
three miles from that town, up in the
hills, ut a place which is difficult to
reach, are the imperial uranium
works, which have become famous
during the last few years on account
Of the radium found in the uranium
stone There Is also a government
factory at st. Joachimstal where
chemical colors are made from the
uranium and shipped to all parts Of
the country. About two years ago the
imperial managers Of the uranium
mines made a report to the govern
ment authorities that the water Of the
mine was found to contain 1adfum.
and medical experts have since de-
clared that these waters are of high
medical value in certain diseases.
Recently most Of the Austrian news.
papers have published items according
to which the Austrian government is
convinced Of the high value Of these
waters and intends to take charge
thereof, construct a proper radium
spring and build hotels, which 1t will
control.-Consular Report.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Humor ana Philosophy
BY DUNCAN N. SMITH
TO MOVE OR NOT TO MOVE?

Talk about
Your chas.e old proverb
Which says
Ofhanded
In such a confident tone Of voice
AS though
That did settle 1t
For all time,
TT Is cheaper to move
Than pay rent"
OF all the prize
Lies
This Is the one
To which the blue ribbon
Or the can
Should be tied.
Maybe
It vas cheaper once
Upon a time.
Perhaps
The man who sat him down
To write
That wise saying
Had enough household goods
To make
A wheelbarrow load,
But in these days
When his happy homo
Centers around
A grand piano
And when the moving trust
10 out
To make a cool million
Every fifteen minutes
BY the watch
Things are different.
We do not claim
He will save any money
BY staying
And assigning his salary
For six years ahead
To the landlord.
We only insist
That 1t isn't cheaper
To do either.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

his quarterly sti-
pend sought to do
him u service. He
hit upon a plan OF
afeguarding the
lnissionary's money.
knowing that In all
likelihood Eliot 9TH
erwise would give
away e II
OF 1t before he
reached his home.
The willy secretary
took Eliot's hand
kerchief and tied up
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Plenty of

"And you refuse me, fair Rea. rice o.
cried Gaspard gloomily.
EYES," retorted the naughty heroine.
II refuse you"
"Merciful turtles. You are the tenth
girl that has handed me the marble
heart"
"And what will you do now, poor
mGn?"
Il think | shall open up q marble
yard."-Chicago News.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
The Ever Present Tonic.

The clouds are drifting far away;
h birds sing in the SUM-:
The wild winds with the waters play;
l wish my work were done.
The grass is growing in the lane,
The johnny-jump-ups too.
I wonder If It's going to rain
And what our team will do.
The mists are lifting from the hills
And floating wide and high.
The robin runs his little trills.
I hope the diamonds dry.
I'm sitting here to dream and doubt.
This labor makes me sore.
Hello! The EXTRAS coming out!
HI. kiddie. what's the score?
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
When Tommy Battles,

you must keep your mouth shut
when you're in the water" said the
nurse as she gave little Tommy a bath.
If you don't you'l swallow some Of
it."
"Well, what Of iii" demanded Tom.
my. There's plenty more in the pipes.
amt there T'-Lippincott's Magazine.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
MECHANICAL STOKER.
Device That Automatically Feeds Lo.
connective Furnaces,


In the working of the Grossly me-
chanical stoker on locomotives the
transference Of coal from tender to
fire door is accomplished by the use Of
a screw conveyor extending from the
coal space in the tender to tn fire
door and running in a sheet metal
trough having a circular bottom and
flaring sides. The trough lies upon
the bottom Of the coal space from the
rear end to a point just In front of the
coal gate. At this point both 2
and trough are so jointed as to pro-
vide for the motion Of engine and tend.
er due to unevenness Of track and on
curves; also to allow the remaining
portion Of the auger and trough to in
cline upward to the fire door. and also
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Considerate of Them.

VoHSJuerate OF Then1.
HE never touches Intoxicating liu-
uors."
THAT may be fine for him, but 1t is
hard on the fellows who drink"
What difference does It make to
them?"
They have to stow away so much
more to make up the per CAPITA"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Why He Liked Il.

Mrs. Crimsonbeak-We want q new
carpet.
Mr.. Crimsonbeak-Wel | saw one
down town today I'd like to have.
What was the pattern?'
Il don't remember. but it had Il sign
on 1t saying. This Carpet Can't Be
OBSERVATION-DISCLOSURES Statesman
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
The Garden Feud,

"Don't forget that chickens always
come home to roost,'" snapped the an
CRY suburbanite as be shook his finger
over the garden fence.
mot always" chuckled his ueighbor
as he cleaned the gore from his Ak.
"Your flock that came over here to
feast on my seeds won't come home to
roost,"-St. Louis Post Dispatch.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
FIRST OF ITS KIND.

San Franciseo's New hindoo Temple.
Only One In America.
The first Hindoo temple in the United
States. or. for that matter. in any Of the
Americas. was dedicated a short time
ago in San Francisco nv Swami Treu.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
No Option.

Barber (pausins in the mutilation,-
VIII you have Il close shave. sir: We.
tim with Il gasp-If | get out " :nis
chair alive. l shall certainly consi1r~
It a very close shave.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

side. He Is serving
his fifth term and
Is fifty years Of age
and has in the last
few years been con
nected with several
important pieces Of
legislation. He new.
er held any office
before being sent to
congress, but was
for some years &C.
tive in the affairs
OF his party. He Is
q lawyer. but for
the past fifteen
years has been on.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Heard In the Museum,

Il proposed to the armless woman
this morning and was accepted" said
the ossifed man.
But what good is a wife without
rms:" queried the human pincushion.
She'll never be able to get me under
her thumb" replied the o. M.-Pitts:
burg Post.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Drastic Moasuees.

Springtime Bard-Ah, Miss Rose,
what should a young man do when he
u keyed up to write spring poetry?
Heartless Maid-He should be locked
op.-Houston Post.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Change In Programme,

HE Is going to marry his stenogra.
pher."
$50 she will not work any more"
mot at the office"
THAT will make an opening for a
bright young girl"
YES. indeed; provided she Is a boy"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Just as He Said.

Investor (angrily>-See here! You
told me ia surely clear between five
and six hundred dollars on that deal.
Broker-Well?
1nvestor-Well. ! cleared just SS.75
on It.
Broker Then you've got no kick
That's between S. and 5000. isn't it?-
St Paul Pioneer Press.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Heightened the Color.

"She Is eternally disgraced. and moth
ing short of q divorce will do her now"
What has happened?"
"She was giving a pink tea, and her
husband came home and painted It
red"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

When 4 man has lost his memory a
nice bunch Of the currency Of the re.
public has been known to wonderfully
facilitate its recovery.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Mr.. Speaker.

The pen Ia mightier than the sword.
To 1t that prestige we accord.
At each the gavel holders SCOT
And show to both where thew get off
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
The Cubic Contents Of Ocean Areas.

The mean height OF all the land now
above the sea is referred to by Lyell as
being 1000 feet The mean depth of
the ocean is at least 10000 feet-that
Is. 1t exceeds the height Of the land
twelve times. This is because the ex.
IRENE heights OF the land. although
probably no less than the extreme
depths Of the sea, yet are exceptional
heights while the maintains its
depth over enormous areas. Owing to
the fact that the surface Of the ocean
to that OF the hand Is as two and a half
to one, the ocean would accommodate
the whole Of the land thirty times over
We're 1t all pitched into the ocean areas.
-KnOwledge and Scientific News.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
M ust Have Been,

Zones Is on the sick list. He ate
too much yesterday"
Il didn't know he was invited out to
dinner"
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

The supreme excellence Is simplicity
-Longfellow.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

To him who hath shall be given a
hint to pay his taxes and save trouble
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
People In Print.
Venezuela, william w. Rus
sell Congressman Vreeland
and His Bill-Dr. Macarthur.
THEU United States
minister to
vy@-----1- uyf,

Venezuela, vii.
liam W. Russell.
who figures prom
fnently in the con.
trOversy between
the state depart
ment at Washing
ton and President
Castro. succeeded
Herbert w. Bowen
at the Venezuelan
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
PERT PARAGRAPHS.

The only way to make some people
happy is to start a good scrap for them
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

The more learned some ulen are the
less they know.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

II people were as willing to believe
good Of others as they are to believe
good Of themselves, there would be i
universal grin that would compass the
earth and lap owe and signal Mars.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

The weather
man does the
best he can, and
freq the
people can the
best he does.
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10
Some people
know how to be
funny. but consid.
erately refrain.

One roomer doesn't make a boarding
house. 1t requires all sorts Of rumors
to make one interesting.
Some people talk about themselves
so much that they have cause for legal
action
The river press. [volume] (Fort Benton, Mont.) 1880-current, 1908-06-10

When a genius goes into the affinity
business he is flying a dag that Is SURF
to attract the fool killer.