Manchester Democrat. [volume] (Manchester, Iowa) 1875-1930, 1908-08-12
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He'd 70 to the end Of the world
for you. She-You won't have to. 50
that far. I'm here. The Sphinx.
Bridget, wasn't that policeman max.
Ing love to you In the kitchen, last
night7' He thot he was. mum. -
Life.
Passenger-How do you feel, my
good man. when the giant waves comes
tumbling over the ship? Old Salt
Wet, ma'am-werry wet
Pa-Sometlmes get discouraged
about Willie. Ma-what's the matter
now7 Pa-Here he is, II years old.
and he can't throw an outcurve yet
Newark News.
Have you ever been cross-examined
before7" inquired a barrister Of Wit
ness who was occupying his attention.
Have 1! exclaimed the man. Didn't
I Just tell you am married q
Bacon-There's one thing I can't
understand. Egbert-T 1t to me.
Bacon-When couple get married, Il
is said they become one. But, again,
they say It takes two to make qunr.
rel.
Teacher Ito new pupiL whats
your name?" New Pupil: "T-t-tommy
T-t-tinker.' y Teacher And do you
stutter all the time, Tommy" New
Pupil N-n,no, msma am; o.only when
I t-t-talk." RI {.
Mrs. Uptown--I trust that we shall
get along very nicely, Nora. / am not
at all difficult to suit. Nora (the new
maid No, ma'am; that's what I
thought the blessed minute set eyes
on the master. b
How do you account for Casey's
wonderful success as policeman p,
Tho fact that he used to work In the
ditch How does that account for
IT." st made him proficient in the art
Of throwing mud.'
Mr.. Bunsby- II that young mans
coming here to see you every day in the
week, you had better give him hint
to come after supper. Miss Bunsby
don't think it's necessary, pa. That's
what he comes after.
An editor Is reported by Lippincott's
as saying when asked on what he has
ed his assertion TINT his small boy was
cut out for an editor "why, every
thing he gets hisshands on he runs and
throws into the waste basket
Mr.. Batch-I have my doubts about
this idea that the more you give away
the more you have. Mr.. Phamleigh-
No question at all about It. gave
away my daughter two months ago.
and now she's returned to me with her
husband.
Farmer-I'm a-goin' to drive to town.
some day next week. Marthy. His
WifeYou can't Hiram. wuz just
lookin' over the skcdool Of auto races
an there amt an open date for hosa.
drivin' ON the roads for the next ten
days.-Puck.
Il j = r 3
When little Hiss Helen learned TINT
moving day was near she asked for Z
trunk in which to pack her belongings
.But what have you to pack?y asked
lhersaunt. ssWhy, " replied the child In.
surprise; my Teddy bear and other
useful things" =
"A woman on the train asked the con-
ductor how long the. cars stopped ne
the station. He replied: MADAM, we
stop just four minutes, from two to.
two to two two. The woman turned
to her companion and said II wonder
| IL he thinks he's the whistle ON tue
engine. ~ 81
II didn't know your mother was
dangerously III, said the observant
neighbor Why. she isn't, replied the
dainty daughter. "What made you
think that n -.T saw you washing the
dishes this morning. And is. It any
wonder that they never speak as they
pass bya Detroit Free Press.
The class was discussing animals
how they walked, got up, etc. After
she explained the cows method Of ris-
Ing to her feet, the teacher asked:
"Do you know any other animal that
gets I'D like cow!2', Silence reigned
for moment, then one little girl tim
idly raised her hand. what Is II? z"
asked the teacher. "A calf, was the
whispered reply. y
+ In a Glasgow car was nm aged Irish
man who held pipe in his mouth.
The conductor told him he could not
smoke. but lie paid no heed. Presently
the guard came into the car, and said
with a show Of irritation Didn't I
tell you you could not smoke In this
carr" "Well. Dim not smoking.
you've got a pipe in your mouth"
$50 OF have me feet in me boots. re-
piled Pat, "but Dim not walking