The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-02-26

Wnat! Are you here TO give me I'm
pudenceT
mo, ma'am. II your husband went
huckleberrying and fell out Of hick-
ory tree and was bitten by snake
Has Marrow Escape.
Away with you.' shouted the wo.
man as she grabbed for the broom
behind her. whats this talk about
my husband when I've been widow
for the last seven yearsf"
"Do you know any other McGuires
around hereY' called Humpy from the
other side of the gate.
There's one right across the road,
but I'm not saying that she does her
duty by her children gadding around
as she does every day In the week."
Humpy took long look at the house
opposite and then crossed the street
| and rang the bell. Again 1t was Mrs.
MCGUIRE who came to the door. and.
| not seeing q parcel In his hand, she
! broke out with:
81 paid dollar ten for corset yes
terduy, and 1t was to come up before
night. It's not here yet, and you tell
the girl who sold 1t to me and gave
| me her solemn promise that I'm get
ting dressed to waltz down there and
| give her bit of my mind"
| "Tm not parcel boy. ma'am," re-
piled Humpy.
| mo? Then who are youY
"Have you got husband, ma'amT
| II have"
L hn ;pNl, In
| "He does. He'll climb anything from
a glass of beer to the steeple of a
church. He's been trying for the last
five years to climb into office, but 1t
makes his head dizzy"
"Ma'am. have to tell you-that is,
I was sent here to say-that is"-
"That is, that my man Joe is drunk
again and the police have got him this
time and will give him thirty days.
All right. 1t was that Mcclure across
the street that sent you. and do you go
back and tell her that she's no lady"
But. ma'am"-
Get move on your
Humpy moved. Half block down
the street he stopped beside carpen-
| ter repairing fence and asked him II
there were any other McGulres on the
| street.
"About ten Others" was the reply.
"Try the next door,"
1t was tried. Mrs. Mcclure came to
the door with a feather duster in her
hand and scowl on her face and
wanted to know why Humpy was try
Ing to pull the doorbell out by the
| roots.
"You have got a husband, haven't
you" he querled in reply.
"You impudent sassbox, would be
| living with man for the last TWEEN.
ty years and he not my husband"
"Your husband went away this morn
Ing feeling oil right, didn't he?"
Humpy Gets Nervous.
"He did that. How else should he
feel when he's got the best wife on the
street? What do you stand there swal-
lowing your tongue for? Has my man
been throwing another car of the track
| and dislOcating the conductors shoul-
der? If he has, then he can pay his
own fine"
MADAM, regret to be the bearer
the-bearer"-
| "And what is It that you are bear
| ing? II it's the ice or milk bill. out
with 1t! I've got something to do be-
sides standing here chinning with a
boy that can't speak English"
well, then. your husband fell from
n ladder down on Arch street and
| broke his leg and has been sent to the
hospital"
"Oh, he has?" smiled the woman.
"My son. step inside minute. Do
you see that sleeping form on the
lounge there? That's what they calls
n recumbent attitude. That's the man
we have been talking about. That's
my husband. He was out on a spree
last night"
! Humpy turned to flee. but he was
not quite quick enough. He was hit on
the head with duster, and large and
liberal foot helped him of the step.
The man who was repairing the fence
advised him to try three or four other
houses, but the boy had become dis
couraged., He headed for home and
didn't stop until he got there. AS he
entered the house his mother asked:
"Why. Humpy. how does 1t happen
that you got out of school go early?"
He explained, and when he had fin
lshed she said:
poor boy. you did not find the
right Mrs. Mcclure. am the one.
and now If you will kindly step into
the wood shed with me well find out
who fell down ladder and who fell
up One" NJ. QUAD.
Not Exactly Contradictory.
"Does Crank's wife support him in