davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
IN THE MATTER OF DIET.
Case Where Individual Must Be Law
Unto Himself.

There are very few of us who dc
not delight in reading essays and dis
cussions on dietetics with the same in
terest that we scan directions on
How to make love-" but in either
case no one Is guided by these disqui-
sitions, because so much depends on
the individual in either affairs or the
heart or gastric affairs. One author
ity says Eat this" another, Don't
eat that" But who can follow any
others advice? One enthusiast pro-
poses that all the world make apples a
part of their daily fare, whereas we
know of one instance in which an ap-
pie stirs up such an interior eruption
that apples should always be tabooed
so far as he is concerned. DIR. II. s.
Gridley, professor Of general chemis-
try at the University of Illinois, has
issued a paper in which he rehabili-
tates meat as continuous article OF
diet after it has been almost put on
the run by the vegetrians and the
semivegetarians. Vegetables, he says,
are always less digestible, while meats
OhtI Ho ODStI uCtiOll w 'hS "i"A
conversion of food into products
capable of being absorbed by the
blood. While reluctant to talk in the
tone of the school physiology and even
TO discuss "inwards" as a topic OF
light literature, we must protest
against classifying vegetables in one
general category of indestibles. 1t all
depends on the vegetable and on the
person who undertakes to assimilate
it benevolently or otherwise. Boiled
cabbage may Stay its tens of thou
sands while others walk the earth to
three-score-and-ten, their health unas-
sailed by constant indulgence in boiled
cabbage. Fried onions killed Napo-
leon, where raw ones might have pre-
served him to scatter new terror in
Europe. In exile on a barrel island
one may eat onions as he likes, and
some who are too careless and too
lacking in self-restraint may deserve
such Punishment. Stewed peas gave
a certain prominent Californian an at
tack of appendicitis every time he at
tempted them, and young woman is
seized with fainting spells whenever
she nibbles at almonds. So we see
that no general rules for dining can be
established any more than general
rules for making love. Each must be
law unto himself and all directions
are valueless.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
An Indirect Confession.

There were two little girls-sisters
who approached their mother one
day with question as to the ultimate
end of liars.
Does every one who tells lie go
to hell, mother" asked the older one,
somewhat anXiously
The mother hedged She didn't real
~ like to preach uncompromising doc
trine of this nature, still an induce
ment TO truth telling was much to be
desired.
Perhaps not" she said Perhaps
if you ask God very earnestly to for
give the lie lie will not send you to
hell"
The small sinner looked uneasy;
she had evidently hoped for some
thing more reassuring. Then sudden
ly she knelt down, pulling her little
sister down beside her.
"Oh, Cod" she prayed, SISTER and
I have both told lies. Forgive us both,
forgive sister, and forgive me-and
especially me-" she finished.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
a Pet.

Bears, unless hungry or abused, are
good-natured animals, and make anus
ing pets. when l was in the revenue
service at Alaska said lieutenant,
1--WE had pet bear on the boat, and
we called him Wineska He used to
climb to the cross-trees, going up hand
over hand by the ratlines. One day he
ventured out on the yard-arm, and
there he stayed. We had TO get q rope
and haul him down. Once he vaulted
over the head of our Chinese cook
and went into the lockers, where he
helped himself TO sugar and butter.
We had a tockling made for him,
much the same as a harness of a pet
pug, and we would drop him over
board, with rope attached, to take
his bath. Once he landed in a native
boat and nearly frightened the occu.
pants out of their wits. He was a3
playful as kitten and. althouh he
sometimes disobeyed. he was never
treacherous or unkind When he was
lost, or hid himself, as he often did,
we would look in the dark till we saw
two little balls of fire. These were
his tyes and gave him away every
time
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
REMINDED HIM OF HOME.
New Yorker Saw Beauty in Sign,
Where Maiden Lady Could Not.


A party of tourists was being shown
around Ciudad Juarez, the little Next
can town just across the Rio Grande
from FL Paso, Texas. Every one was
delighted with its picturesqueness,
and in particular a maiden lady, who
went into raptures about each new
sight.
1T is all so quaint" she said. These
adobe houses, the old church, the mar.
row streets, the little plaza, those
dreadful-looking men wearing SOM
breros; everything breathes the spir-
1t of an old-world civilization. 1t is
so different from our United States.
That's So" assented New York
man who had been listening. For
instance, where in all the world could
you find anything SO antique, so full
of inherent beauty, so charged, as it
were, with the essence Of pure joy, as
that sign over there" He pointed
toward whitewashed mud house on
whose exterior was painted:
BIGGEST BEER IN TOWN, &C."
The woman eagerly turned to look
Then she froze the horrid man with
a glance and did not speak to him
again during the whole trip.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
BEYOND LIMIT OF PATIENCE.
Explanation Satisfied Policeman That
Punishment Was Due.

Policeman Kneirem, of the Tender
loin precinct, saw an old man beating
a small boy on Seventh avenue re-
Gently in a fashion that reminded the
officer of the happy days when he used
to beat 1t from the parental beating.
So with a cheerful smile, having chill
dren of his own, the policeman APP
preached the old man.
Listen" replied the man; half an
hour ago | sent Isaac to the delicates-
sen. ] gave him two quarters, one
with which TO buy bread, the other
to buy fish. And now he comes back
and says he wants TO know which
quarter is for the fish and which for
the bread. Is it enough"
1T is" replied Kneirem. New York
World.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
ITCHING HUMoR ON BOY
His Hands Were Solid Mass, and
Disease Spread All Over Body
Cured in 4 Days BY Cuticura.

Zone day We noticed that our little
boy was all broken out with itching
sores. We first noticed it on his little
hands. His hands were not as bad
then, and we didn't think anything
serious would result. But the next day
we heard of the Cuticura Remedies
being so good for itching sores. By
this time the disease had spread ali
over his body, and his hands were
nothing but solid mass of this itch
ing disease. purchased box Of Cuti-
cura Soap and one box of Cuticura
Ointment, and that night I took the
Cuticura Soap and lukewarm water
and washed him well. Then | dried
him and took the Cuticura Ointment
and anointed him with it. did this
every evening and in four nights he
was entirely cured. Mrs Frank Don.
ahue, EOS Fremont ST., kokomo, Ind,
Sept. 16, 1907"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
The Farmers Version.

Hiram" exclaimed Mrs. Hardapple.
in great agitation, the bank that you
put the $500 in the last time you went
To- town has gone up higher than a
kite
WHAT" roared Mr.. Hardapple,
dancing around with rage. Them thar
thieving high financiers should be
strung up to a telegraph pole, every
mothers son of Them
And Hiram
"Well?"
do you know that $1,000 you put
N the old stocking? Well, the rats
ate IT. up"
did? Well, the ways Of Providence
are mysterious. The Lord giveth and
the Lord taketh away"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
Novel Trio.

do you like ensemble music?' the
city girl asked young Nathan Hobbs
of Willowby, who was trying to enter
tain her at the church social" Ma
than looked bewildered.
Il mean do you enjoy hearing sew
eral instruments played together?'
asked his new acquaintance. taking
condescending pity on his ignorance.
Il guess | do, said Nathan, bright
ening at once. and speaking with en-.
thus.asm "Sy. YOU just wait till you
hear Eta Willis on the organ with Ed
Holmes playing the harmonica and
Sadie James the triangle. It's great.
Youths Companion.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
Reform in Earnest.

Mrs Crossway was shedding tears
of JOY.
Il just can't help it," she exclaimed.
"My husband has sworn off.
Why, didn't know he drank, said
Mrs. Xavier greatly astonished. WAS
he-was he much given to the use of
liquor?'
20, dear, no. He didn't use it at
all He has sworn off from buying
things we don't need and paying for
them on the installment plan"
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
Oratory Defined.

What am oratory, Brudder Jack.
SOM
"Brudder Simmins, I will elucidate.
If you says black am white. dat am
foolish. But IL you says black AM
white. and beflers like bull, an
pounds on a table VIII bofe fists, dat
am oratory, an some people will be-
lieye you."-Atlanta Constitution.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

This continued for fifteen years and
until l began using Doan's Kidney
Pills. Then l improved steadily until
cured, and naturally, / recommend
them strongly"
Sold by all dealers, so cents a box.
Foster-Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. Y.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
Dancer for the Witches.

Said the sour old witch:
Things have reached such q pitch
That I dare not go broomstick riding;
For these airmobiles
With gas bags and wheels
With my broomstick are ever colliding.'
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
Centenarian Likes Tobacco.

Mrs. Mary Ellen Barraby of Brock
ton, Mass. has just celebrated her
one hundred and fifth birthday. She
began smoking a pipe when she was
50, and regrets she didn't begin when
she was 10
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

and heavy lifting
weakened my kid
neys. l was tired
every morning and
my limbs stiff and
sore. Dizzy spells
and headaches were
frequent. and the
kidney secretions
m &c h disordered.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
Tellina a Family Secret.

Little Clarence-Mamma, how did
papa make his first thousand?
His Mother-He made it. dear. by
marrying your grandfather's daugh-
ter. Now run out and play.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
The Pe-ru-na Almanac in 100000
Homes

The Peruna Lucky Day Almanac has
become a fixture in over eight million
homes. II can be obtained from all
druggists free. BE sure to inquire early
The 1908 Almanac is already published,
and the supply will soon be exhausted.
Do not put il off. Speak for one to-day.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

FITS, st. Vitus Dance and all Nervous
Diseases permanently cured by DIR. kline's
Great Nerve Restorer. Send for Free $500
trial bottle and treatise DIR. X. II. Kline,
Id, 93l Arch St, Philadelphia. Pa.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

A suggestion for 1908: Take Garfield Tea
10 establish and maintain normal action
of the digestive organs, to purify the blood,
cleanse the system and TO bring Good
Health
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

IF you had the abilities OF all the
great men. past and present. you
could do nothing we'll without sim
cerely meaning it. and setting about
it-Dickens.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

VIII it be the same old resolutions
with new coat of varnish?
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
II You Suffer from Asthma

or Bronchitis get immediate relief by
using Browns Bronchial Troches.
Contain no harmful drugs.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

A German tourist expressed the
opinion that doing nothing is the ma.
tional occupation of Koreans.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
italy Has LARGEST Churches.

Italy owns the worlds three largest
churches-St. Peters. Rome; The Du-
ONO Milan; and st. Pauls at Rome.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

Happiness lies in the consciousness
we have OF IL. and by no means in
the way the future keeps its promises.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
AND THERE WAS!

Juvenile Drummer-There ought to
be a great opening for pushing
young fellow in this country.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

All growth and achievement depend
very largely upon knowing ourselves
and how to apply that knowledge
French.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

Brains can make money, but money
can't make brains.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
WORK WEAKENs KIDNEYS.
The Experience Of Mr.. Woods Is the
Experience Of Thousands of Others.

Bernard p. Woods of Jackson street,
Homecoming, Md, says: Hard work
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

Tombs Of Cement.
An enterprising American has DO.
gun to manufacture cement tombs.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
! RfY GEORGE A.ERovzzAN

For several years have been troubled
with peculiar spasmodic affection OF
the throat. 1t would seize me suddenly
and for few minutes / would be nm
able TO speak audiblv. and my breath
would be greatly interfcred with. 1
would be obliged to gasp for breath.
Il finally concluded that it was some
catarrhal affection which probably ex-
cited the spasm. 1t intcrfered with my
vocation as a preacher. attacking me
occasionally in the pulpit.
Il had heard SO much about Peruna
as catarrh remedy that l determined
To try it. After taking two bottles, my
trouble has disappeared. / feel sure
that Peruna has greatly benefited me. -
Rev. i. f.. Swanstrom. Swedish BaD-
fist Pastor, Box 22S, Grantsburg, Wis,
writes that from the use of Peruna he
is perfectly well, entirely cured of
chronic diarrhea and cataIrh.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

ONLY ONE "BROMO OUININE'
That is LAXATIVE BROMO OUININE. Look for
the signature of E. w. GROVE. Used the World
over TO Cure Cold in One Day. 25c.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

It's easy to swear of-and Just as
easy TO fall of little later.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
PILES CURED INero DAYS.
Inactive Koreans

PAIO OINTMENT is guaranteed to cure any case
~ itching. Hind bleeding or Protfuding Piles in
= ~ a days OF nonrv refunded j0c.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15

Above is sufficient seed to grow 80 bp.
of rarest vegetables and thousands of bril-
liant flowers and all is mailed to you
POSTPAID FOR 12c,
or il you send Ice, we will add a package
of Berliner Earliest Caulihower. John 4
Salzer Seed Co., La Crosse, Wis. X. & W.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
Peruna in Tablet Form.

For two years DIR. Hartman and his
assistants have necessarily labored to
create Peruna in tablet form, and their
strenuous labors have just been crowned
with success. People who object to
liquid medicines can now secure Peruna
Tablets, which represent the medicinal
ingredients of Peruua. Each tablet is
equivalent TO one average dose of
Peruna.
Charlevoix county herald. (East Jordan, Mich.) 189?-1953, 1908-02-15
Something New Under the Sun.

A lady in Illinois sent us l2c year aep
for our remarkable collection of vegetable
and flower seeds and sold $37.76 worth
therefrom. or made 3l49o. That's new.
just send this notice with l2c and re-
ceive the most original seed and plant
catalog published and
l pkg. "Quick Quick" Carrot ......S II
pkg. Earliest Ripe Cabbage. ....... 10
! pkg. Earliest Emerald Cucumber. 10
l pkg. La Crosse Market Lettuce. Ii
! pkg. Early Dinner Onion. ......... 10
l pkg. Strawberry Muskmelon. ....... Is
pkg. Thirteen Day Radish. ......... 10
1000 kernels gloriously beautiful
flower seed. northumberland. Is
Total Observation-Disclosures. LOO
New-York tribune., 1908-02-11

cor became so painful ten days age that he went
to family physician DR.. Louis c. BlerW1th me
doct discovered that blood poisoning hsid set IN
and after treating the foot for several days ne
decided to amputate the affected toe Ihls was
done last Wednesday. But the Justices oiooo was
in so poor condition from diabetes that ne CON-
tinued to grow worse after the operation
Justice Abbott was lawyer. Public Admlnistrator'
Surrogate and finally justice of the supreme Coul'
Though a Democrat in politics he was cordlaAy
liked by men of all political persuasions he was
born on September q. 1850, at Brookheld. orange
County Vt, of Benjamin f. Abbott- Inc Az
bott family moved to Brooklyn when George An-
bott was a small boy. He went TO Polytechnic
Institute and from there to williams College, in
1868 He was graduated from Williams with the
class of ~, and travelled for a time throush
Europe
When he returned to America he began the STUDY
of law in the Columbia Law School and IN tne
office of Justice Abraham r. Lawrence. Two years
after his graduation from the school he became III
1876 the counsel to the Public Administrator OF
Kings County. In 1881 he was appointed 10 thls
office himself, and continued in 1t until 1883 "hsl
within year of the end of his second term Gov
ernor Hill appointed him TO succeed Abraham Lott
who had died as the Surrogate of Kings. Tnat
fall he regularly elected Surrogate oy ma
tority of 5000 votes. He remained IN tnls ONCE
until 1902 serving two terms. In 1905 he was
elected to the Supreme Court bench on the tickets
of the Republicans. Democrats and independence
League. He had served only one year and one
month OF his term.
Justice Abbott belonged to the Brooklyn. Excel
sor Germania and University clubs. He leaves
his wife formerly Miss Eva T. Reeve; daughter,
Miss Marie Abbott, and a son. George Abbott, who
is now attending Hobart College The family
was gathered at his bedside when he died Inc
funeral service will be held on wednesday morning
at 1880 o'clock at Holy Trinity Protestant Epis-
copaI Church, Brooklyn Heights. The rector, the
Rev J. Howard MeIIish, viii of1ciate.
After court yesterday the Supreme Court Justices
met IN chambers and decided to attend the funerai
in body They will adjourn court this morning
until Thursday. At the same time the members
Of the Brooklyn Bar Association gathered in the
Law Library at the County Court house and de-
cided TO hold a memorial meeting on February IL
Justice AImet r. jerks Will preside, and formal
resolutions will be passed.
New-York tribune., 1908-02-11
DUKE GETS Il LICENSE.
Stung" He Tells Miss Shonts
When a Dollar Is CHARGED.

Miss Theodore Shonts daughter Of Theodore P.
shonts president OF the Interborough Metropolitan
company, and her fance the Due de Chaulnes
visited the City Hall yesterday afternoon and took
out the necessary marriage license for their we'd
ding, which Will take place Saturday OF this
week The young people were accompanied by
Miss Marguerite Shonts and Mr.. Pepperrnan. secre-
tary TO Theodore P. Shonts.
The visitors entered the City Hall by the rear
door. When they rounded into the main corridor
they had to brush past politicians smoking cigars
OF strongly partisan odor and other couples in
quest OF marriage licenses Miss Shonts quickly
made known their erTand, and they were taken into
the clerks Office. The marriage license blanks had
been made out before they came, and there was
little for Mr.. ScuIly to do
Miss Shontss slip. which she said had been pre-
pared by her father. read;
Mary Theodore shonts, nineteen years old, No.
Of father. Theodore P. Shonts. Maiden name Of
mother, Milla Drake
The duke presented the following description of
himself:
Avenae 4A4s Vandyck Paris Place OF birth. Paris.
Princesse 5. Galitzin Born in Russia.
The duke, pleasant looking chap. showed the
result Of contact with Americans
rs there any charge for the Hcense?' he asked
Mr. Scully.
''One dollar" said the clerk
Turning quickly to his prospective BRIDE he play
fully held up his index finger and exclaimed:
-'Stungr'
There was a merry laugh at this, and then the
duke, turning to Mr.. Pepperrnan, said:
You fix il up, Mr.. PepperInan-'' That person
handed over $40 bill, which Mr.. Scully thrust into
his trousers pocket without more ado
Pepperman looked at the duke and winked, and
all but Mr. Sculy began smile.
Pardon me-" said Pepperman, but how much
did you say the license would cost?'
'One dollar" said Mr. Scully, who, suspecting
that the laugh on him. quickly dug up the
bill.
II guess that's me- he said, hurrying
produce the change. The party went away in g.
blithe mood.
New-York tribune., 1908-02-11
THEATRICAL NEWS

Mr and Mrs. John T Powers are the leadlns per
formers this week at Tony Pastors Theatre The
century Comedy Four. William CahiIl. Gilmore and
Castle and Dunn and Barry are in the bill
The Oriental Cosey Corner Girls gave two per-
f,rrnances Yesterday at the Dewey Theatre that
were enjoyed by numerous audiences 1hey Will
he here for the remainder Of the week
A. the Gotham Theatre the Miss New York, Jr-
cornnanv is the source OF hilarity, and nobody
COMPLAINS There several amusing performers
IN that bubble and q few attractive choruses
It is made known that Henry kolker ana MISS
ToeanbIne Victor have been engaged for the Leading
80 IN q NAV called Until We Meet Again,
made by Margaret Merington and soon to be pre-
sented here by Doris & Rosen-
Arthur Shaw has been engaged TO appear WIN
Thomas ". Ross in James Forbess ne" pay
called THE Travelling Salesman
New-York tribune., 1908-02-11
GEORGE AUGUSTUS JENks.

Brookville Penn, Feb. 10-Ex-Congressman
George Augustus jerks, one OF the best known at
+orrevs In western Pennsylvania and prominent
figure in national affairs twenty-five years ago.
7ad at his home here to-day from the inf1rmities
OF age He had been in poor health for year lie
was seventy-two years old, and remained IN active
nrar+fce until about three years He was
elected to Congress from the 18th Pennsylvania
District in 1874 and chairman of the Committee
on Invalid Pensions made report which brought
about important reforms in the pension bureau.
He was one of the managers for the House in the
tn7Deachnoent OF Secretary Belknap, making the
leading argument He served as Assistant Secre-
r, of the Interior in 1856. and in the latter year
was sppoiuted Solicitor General by President Cleve-
land He prosecuted the Pacific Railroad and Bell
telephone cases, being retained as special counsel
for the government for those suits after he mad
resigned early in the Harrison administration
Mr. jerks was the Democratic nominee for Gov
ernor in 1898 and tho Democratic caucus no1nt-
nee for United States Senator in 1888. He leaves
wife ard one daughter the wife OF former Con-
eressnan B. F. Shvely OF Indiana.