The Caucasian. (Clinton, N.C.) 188?-1913, 1908-05-07
Weighty Words.
{ Biblical Recorder. }

There was an old negro who had
sent his son to school The boy had
gotten above his father and often
tried to embarrass the old man with
big words.
The old negro worked for coun-
try merchant, hauled goods from the
depot and sometimes carried the
drummers back and forth from the
train. One day. as the old man was
driving into town with a drummer
, and thinking of his son, who work
ed at the hotel. he said:
Say, boss, rs got a son down
town who tries to show off over me,
and make me feel small. He'll try
it dis mornin'. boss, and I'd jes' like
to be fixed to paralyse his desirabili-
ties. Can't you say over a few big
words for me on de way down? I'd
be extremely disobliged to you"
How big words do you want?" the
drummer asked. You can't git IN
too big, boss; rs powerful niger
to member big words. and git m
off when calamitous occasion pre-
dominates.
The drummer thought for a mo-
ment, then said: "Hallucination,
unsophisticated, transcendentalism
confiscation. How are they?"
Denis all right, boss. an I bet
jes' unconfsticate dat niger. too. !"
| By this time they were at the de-
pot, the drummer stepped from
the wagon, and at the same time
came the bus from the hotel, the
young Negro driving.
He saw his father and at once
yelled out at the old fellow: Hello
dar, ole man, amt I done tole you
bout four hundred times not to sa-
gacitate dat stupendous vehicle in de
way Of de omnibus? Some ole mig
gers dom seem to hab no mo- Idly
of de consequently of rectitude dan
a squash"
Old Negro: WAS you spokin' to
me, sah?"
| Young negro: "'Cose I wus''
Old Negro: Den, sab, I'll hab
you to distinctly understand, dat
when de cooperation of imperialism
seems to assimulate a disreputable
infringement upon hereditary avar-
iciousness I shall retract my individ-
uality; and not befo', and not befo',
sah.'
Young Negro: "You exonerate
yourself, sab. by your preponderous
classical diction, beyond my compre-
hension, and obstruct de supervision
of desc cosmogonies. But I will
have you to cogitate upon the in
congruity of my psychological func-
tons, and wild desc extreme ter
minologies, will communicate to
your sublime idiosyncrasies dat un-
less you obsquashulate to your la
tronical domicile I will capitulate
your venerable corpulency'
| Old Negro: Go way from here,
Fnigger, wild your obstreperous stu
pidity, and super-arrogate your dia-
phragm by collision wild aqua-ther-
NAL continuance. Wild polytechnic
generosity you perform your obla-
tious sesquidalian vocables, to cir
cumscribe my various educational at
tainments and immediate de--modesty
of my sensibilities Your para
phernalia is contingent to a cater
rhinnic mammal. Your bibliosity SUI
perinduces felieitous ingratitude up
on obstreperous yankeedom, and CO.
erces aeephalous ichtho-saurean
nasal extremity of an elephant. !
voluntarily conclude. sab, dat I am
uncompromising1y victimized by
your superior disciplinary loquac-
iousness, sab"
Young Negotiating DOWN. /:
Huh! Things am Citing so con-
glomerated dat can't tell whedder
I'm de son or de ladder"
Old Negro: yep! I 'spect dat
nigger's got bout 'nough of dat"
So said they all.
| g FARMEP