Coeur d'Alene evening press. (Coeur d'Alene, Idaho) 1907-1929, 1908-02-08
A CID.

Ills name was John AdOlnh JappeFs.
Jappers was young, tender, fresh. 30
was his beard. Jappers had seen abodt
eighteen years OF earthly woe, and he
was highly sensitlzed by nature. al
though his father was n blur old cod
ger without an ounce Of nonsense IN
bis whole makeup.
John Jappers fell In love. He had
girl, at least he thought he had, and he
thought he had said interesting things
and quoted poetry enough to make her
just crazy to have him propose. One
day he concluded he would try to see
how an offer OF marriage, made in
true knightly style, would affect her.
He arrayed himself In purple and fine
linen, so to speak. made himself look
as ravishingly beautiful as he could
be and sought his divinity.
Coaxing her into the parlor, where
they might be unobserved. he proceed
ed in due aud regular form to offer
himself Did that girl swoon from ex.
cessive gladness? Did Miss Pinky
Brown ding herself on his clean shirt
front and SWIVEL In ecstasy? Well, not
to any great extent.
On the contrary, she laughed In his
face and called him a fool; told him to
4 60 home and ask his mother for n
/ gingersnap, and when he seized her by
the hand and attempted to demonstrate
her black and tan terrier seized him
by the calf Of his leg and attempted
to extract a soup piece from 1t.
Jappers felt his proud heart break.
He wished he had SNUFF to put in that
dogs eyes and a pistol ball to put be-
tween his own. He waited like a mar.
tyr until that pet of hers had got
through with his lunch, and then. tax.
Ing his hat. he strobe haughtlly from
the house, resolved to die, to smother
his grief In the lethean wave Of OBJ
livlon.
Looking neither to the right nor left.
he made his way to an apothecary's
store and said he wanted a dose of
arsenic to XIII cat. The druggist had
often met these crazy looking chaps
who wanted to poison cats and rats
ana things. and, concluding at most
that he would only make the cat sick
or her existence for q few hours. he
proceeded to put up strong emetlc,
with which our heroic youth strobe
home, fully resolved on funeral
Going to his chamber, he wrote the
Following note and left 1t on the tn.
BILE:
Friends Of This Earth-Fate has frac-
tured my heart. She whom / worshlped
has laughed at my love and set her dog
on me. ! pass on. l crave the silent
tomb. cannot live In the Same world
with her and know that am scorned l
have taken arsenic.
Then he took the emetlc. Being
strong, II worked hurrledly. II appear.
cd to waltz through his troubled I'm.
terror, and he monned like stricken
calf. The family rushed up to his
room In great alarm. His father gruff
~ asked him what the matter was. and
he pointed to the paper ON the table.
The old man seized aud read Il.
I'm DO hanged If the cussed idiot
hasn't been taking arsenlc' he ex.
claimed, and, SELLING his hat, he rush
cd out for the nearest physician.
Grabbing stomach pump, the doc |
tor was soon at the bedside OF his
bowling patient Then the fun began.
The parent of that poor boy sat upon !
his stomach while the doctor applied
the pump, and the experience that he
underwent for the next ten minutes
was quite enough to make any man
sigh for "the silent tomb" He could
feel 1t pun on his very corns.
After nearly turning him inside out
the doctor discovered the real truth
and llmbered up his machine" to 20
home. That matter OF fact father fol.
lowed him 70 know why he withdrew,
If he was quite sure he had pumped
him dry when the doctor informed
him that he had been made fool OF.
that the boy had taken an emetic and
that he would take $40 for his trou.
BILE Ia relieving him of II.
That matter of fact parent paid the
bin and showed Mr.. Medico out of
doors and then. with a flood Of pa.
ternal love light In his. eyes. he return
cd 10 his son.
He ordered the others from the room,
and, after locking the door, he began
to act the part OF an Indian medicine
man with the sufferer.
lie warmed him with a rattan cane.
lie sat upon him and busted the most
dlstended portions OF his pantaloous
with the Dalm OF his hand lie took
him by the two legs aud, holding him
up as he would carcass OF mutton.
he jounced his head ON the floor sew.
eral times.
'Therel" said he, after his parental
love had spent itself "If ever catch
you making such confonnded mule Of
yourself again I'll cram a pound Of nj
troglycerin down your throat and
throw you out of the window. II you
want to die I'll fix you myself. but
don't let me see any more suicide In
this house,
Then he left that tender youth to his
own sad reflections. What they were