The Hawaiian gazette. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1865-1918, 1908-11-13
Mystical Mique;
or,
The Bewiesed Buster of
Baseball Bunds.


Scene, the Elks' club rooms. Dramatis
personae: Mythical Mique, Mique
Fisher and Mique. Also some inferior
parts, including that of the jingler.
Time, yesterday afternoon.
Mique is discovered seated in one
chair and overlooking sideways on to
two other seats.
Mique:
To make this thing big success
We have to stand in with the press,
And, by my toupee top of hair,
I'll hand the bunch some good hot air.
Enter mere mortals and inferior parts,
including jingler.)
Mique:
Good morning, gents. What's that
you say
A new reporter7 Sir, good day.
(Rises in forty-fve labored move
ments and extends hand SIM
ply loaded with gladness)
More proud to meet you than 1 can
think;
Say, one of you members buy drink.
Innocent Elk orders refreshment)
l much regret you were not at the
boat to meet me,
And that Cap Berger did not come
to greet me;
You should have had band and fine
parade
Say, waiter, put some hair oil in my
lemonade.
Get out your notebook, sir, and kind
ly write
The dope hand you which, of course,
is right.
We have the greatest bunch of stars
that ever walked,
And everywhere we go my manage.
ment is talked
AS being so supreme, I state with
modest pride
Chorus:
Oh, Mique, for goodness sake tie that
outside.
Unique looks deeply offended and glow
ers on the chorus of inferior parts.)
You see, how jealous are those fell
lows sitting there;
AS soon as / begin to talk they say
eliot air.
Our aggregation is superb, divine, SUI
preme;
In fact, of all the players they re
the real cream.
Bill Devereux, Red Dog, they call
him, when he barks,
The great third baseman, always up
to larks;
And Delehanty, too, his hitting, beats
them all,
For when he strikes, a fact, they
never find the ball.
MsArdle, shortstop, and you bet your
life he stops,
When hot ones come his way, why
something drops.
Then Danzig, he's the tallest player
in the world.
He don't stand up. Oh, no, he simply
is unfurled-
The greatest bunch of players, as
I've said
Chorus:
Oh, cut it, Mique; pray stop those
wheels in your head
Mique:
Now, there you go again; why can't
speak
A word or two without your shoot
ing off your cheek7
Now, when we get to Yokohama they
Will bring tug and band to, meet
us on the bay;
And, say, the decorations put there
for the fleet
Will be left up for us. That's how
they'll meet
Us in the land of rising sun, and not
like here,
Where not a single man came down
to give cheer.
I wish you'd put in the paper that !
think
I wasn't treated right. Hey, some
one buy drink
Chorus (Joining hands and dancing in
circle round Mique, who tries to
clasp hands in front of him, but
fails for obvious reasons)
Well give three cheers for toupee
Mique,
The great old hot.air singer.
Where e'er he goes he makes a strike
Though never as a singer.
He warns the atmosphere around;
He does it, oh, so neatly;
But, Mique, when you come back
again..
Well surely treat you sweetly.
Everybody leaves stage except iingler,
:. who subsidies into chair and weeps. }
Jingler (sobbing):
Boo hoo, boo hoo, see what I've
missed.
If I the Blarney stone had kissed,
And, being bald, wore toupee,
! wouldn't have TO work today;
I'd raise baseball team for fair;
I'd laugh, grow fat, and sling hot air.
[Curtain.
MUSCULAR PAINS.
Hundreds of testimonials could be