Daily Kennebec journal. [microfilm reel] (Augusta, Me.) 1870-1975, 1908-04-01
Short Stories

AN ldIuICL was llAC PIouN
owner of two well-bred dogs called
respectively, Moses and Tige. Thes
dogs one morning, chased a stray hol
down the road and stopped to play
the railroad crossing, with the result
that Tige was struck by an engine ant
killed. Whereupon the owner prompt
ly took measures to institute suit TO-
damages against the road.
At the hearing the engineer swort
that he had given a sharp blast of the
whistle as he approached the CROSSING
and for a while it looked as if the
company would get the best of the suit
But the attorney for the farmer was
ION the job"
"Your honor" said he: ait is re.
uuired by the statute in such cases
made and provided that when any per-
son or domestic animal is upon rail-
road track, and is seen by the engineer,
he, the engineer, must sound his whls-
tle In this instance, Your Honor, we
find that there were two domestic AMI
mails innocently playing on the track,
and that the whistle was sounded only
once, when it is positive legal re-
quirement that it should have been
been blown twice-once for each dog!'
Lord Kitchener of Khartoum, while
walking in st. James Park, was accost-
ed by an effusive stranger, who gasped
his hand and said:
'.Heilo, Lord Kitchener! I bet you
don't know me-"
The general gaZed at him unmoved.
"You VIM" he remarked laconically,
and walked on.-London Opinion.
A 7-year- had a great appetite
for buckwheat cakes, and could stow
away an amazing number. One morn
ing his grandfather, who was watch
ing the performance, asked:
"Have you ever in your life had all
the buckwheat cakes that you could
eat?"
Eyes. SIR" replied the boy. Lots OF
times I've felt I'd had enough"
"How do you tell when you have had
enough?"
II just keep on eating until I get a
pain, and then l eat one more to make
sure"
Hon. Sidney J. Bowie, who repre-
SenIeu llc LOUISVILLE A>eoAANAAiS e-AASs
other railroads at the hearing before
the legislative committees of the two
houses last week, was in Admission the
other day. When asked what he
thought of the constitutionality of the
anti-railroad legislation just enacted
he said:
'Your question reminds me of an In
cident which is said to have occurred
in a Justice court of a neighborlng
county. The attorneys pitted against
each other were more noted for the
possession of other faculties than for
an accurate knowledge of the law.
"After the case was called and both
parties announced ready the defend
ants lawyer rose and said: II demur
to the complaint to which the Court
replied: Upon what grounds?'
cts no good,' promptly replied the
defendants lawyer.
"Thereupon the plaintiffs lawyer,
who knew nothing of demurrers. but
had heard, somewhere, something
about amendments, said:
"'Then I will amend
"With that he wrote few lines,
scarcely legible, on the bottom of the
original complaint and triumphantly
passed it to his adversary.
''I demur again. said the defend
ants lawyer.
"'On what ground?' asked the Court.
"It's wuss ZEN the fust,' the defend
ants lawyer replied. Regis
ter.
A young married man of extremely
jealous disposition recently visited one
of the most famous mediums in Lon
DON Being far from home. he wanted
to know what his wife was doing.
"She is looking out Of the window,
evidently expecting some one.'
"That is strange" said Benedick.
'Whom can she expect"
"Sone one enters the door and she
caresses him fondly," went on the me-
dunn.
ut can't be-" cried the excited hus-
band. "My wife is true to me-"
'Now he lays his head on her lap and
looks tenderly in her eyes"
IT'S false! I'll make you pay dear
ly for this!" yelled the jealous hus-
band.
"Now he wags his TAIL" said the me-
dunn.
The green eyed monster subsidized.
and the young husband cheerfully paid
over his consulting fee-London Tit
Bits.
Senator Carter of Montana. is telling
a good story illustrative of the Presi-
dents love of children: "The Presi-
dent doesn't count for much" said he.
when one goes Peter-Panning."
Last week a little boy and girl,
friends of mine. succeeded in getting
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