Kentucky Irish American. (Louisville, Ky.) 1898-1968, 1908-12-19
Mrs. Moriarity Was Overwhelmed
BY Volubility of Great
LiberatOr.
Old Story That Has Become q
Classic Among Irish
Raconteurs.
HOW LIBERATOR Won HIS WAGER

an eminence with Mrs. Malaprop. For
the enjoyment of all old-timers, and
for the benefit of the rest of the
family, we give here the famous
story:
Daniel O'Connell, when a young
man. just called to the bar, had a
scolding match with one Biddy
Moriarity, who kept a small shop on
one of the quays near the Four
Courts, and whose flow of vitupera-
tive language made her notorious all
over Dublin. O'Connell, in a spirit
of whimsical banter made wager
that he could talk the old woman to
standstill; that he would overwhelm
her with what she would consider
abuse. that she would not be able to
make a reply.
The wager was accepted with
avidity by a man who had witnessed
Mrs. Moriarity in several wordy bat
ties and who had noticed that all of
her antagonists had been driven
from the field discounted. At once
the party adjourned to the shop,
where the owner was actively en-
gagged in disposing of her goods. n
few loungers and stragglers hanging
about the place, for Biddy was re-
garded by many admirers as the
most marvellous singer of Billings
gate in all Dublin.
O'Connell planned an attack in q
way never before imagined by his
opponent. He opened the colloquy
in this manner:
whats the price OF this walking
stick. Mrs. What's-your-name?"
'Moriarity. sir. is my name. and a
good one it is; and what have you TO
say agen it? And one-and-siX-pence' s
the price of the stick. Troth, it's
chape as dirt, so it is"
''One-and-siX-pence for a walking
stick! Whew! Why. you are no bet
ter than an impostor. to ask eigh-
teen-pence for what cost you
two-pence."
"Two-pence your grandmother"
replied Mrs. Biddy. do you mean
to say that it's cheating the people
/ am? Imposter, indeed"
SAY imposter! And it's that I call
you to your teeth" replied O'Con-
nell.
Come. cut'your stick, you cantan-
kerous jackanapes."
keep a civil tongue in your head.
you old diagonal" replied O'Connell
calmly.
"Stop your jaw, you pug-nosed
badger, or by this and that, I'll make
you go quicker nor you came" cried
Mrs. Moriarity.
'Don't be in a passion, my old
radius-anger will only wrinkle your
beauty"
"By the hockey, if you say another
word of your impudence. I'll tan
your dirty hide. you basely common
scrub; and sorry I'd be to soil my
fists on your dirty carcase!"
"Whew! Boys what passion old
Biddy is in; | protest as | am a
gentleman"
"Jintleman! iintleman! the likes q
you a jintleman! Wisha. by gore,
that bangs Banagher. Why. you
potato-faced pippin-sneezer. where
did a Madagascar monkey like you
pick up enough of common Christian
decency to hide your Kerry brogueP'
Easy now, easy now" answered
O'Connell. with imperturbable good
humor; don't choke yourself with
fine language. you old whiskey-
drinking parallelogram.'
whats that you call me, You muir
dering villain" roared Mrs. Moriarity,
in blind passion.
81 call you a parallelogram: and n
Dublin Judge and jury will say it is
no libel to call you So" was the firm
but quiet response of 0'Connell.
"Oh, tare-an'-hounds! oh, holy
Biddy! That an honest woman like
me should be called a parrybelly-
grums to her facet I'm none of your
parrybellygrums, you rascally gal
lows bird! you cowardly, sneaking,
plate-licking bliggardl"
''Oh, not you. indeed!" retorted
O'Connell: ''why, l suppose you'll
deny that you keep hypotenuse in
your housed"
Its a lie for you, you robberl |
never had such a thing in my house,
you swindling theft"
"Why, sure, all the neighbors
know very well that you keep not
only a hypotenuse, but that you have
got two diameters locked up in your
garnet, and that you go out to walk
with them every Sunday, you heart
less heptagon."
"Oh, hear that, We saints o. gloryl
Oh, there's bad language from a
fellow that wants to pass for a
jintleman! May the devil fly away
with you, you micher from Munster,
and make celery sauce o. your rotten
limbs"
"Ah, you can't deny the charge,
you miserable submultiple of dup
licate ratio
$50, rinse your mouth in the
Liffey, you nasty ticlxle-pitcher;
81 l<o1 lie