The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-09-08
DRIFT WOOD
Ring out the school bells.


 Brush the dus, off of your school books
 And get ready to dig
 The widows ~mlsht. is getting to be a thing of more importance than Ii was in biblical times.
 A fellow doesn't ask hts girl to stroll down Lovers Lane anymore. Instead he says Come. let's wander down
 Mary had a little lamb
 for twas against the rule
 For her to have a lot because
 Twas In a boarding school. Ere long the .'sere and yellow leaf" A Texas man swallowed a collar button. (Collar buttons should be worn on the exterior of the neck, not the interiorl.
 MT. Will Hogg. of Brozonia county. Texas. says that he will send a fine 'possum to every paragrapher in this country who will ask for one we hereby file our application, but Will Say, by the way. what becomes of those dimpled red-headed widows of Houston when their dfmples have van- t'A'NN ""'A et'"ft NaNse VI etoSNN~ " -
 T have a sweetheart
 Her name is Sue.
 And Is she good?
 She's too good to be trues How many ants and spiders did you eat at different picnics this sum- ner7
 Some young men become so infatu- ated with landladies daughters that they carefully pick every hair out of the butter and put 1t away among their treasures
 There is said to be a barber up in Delaware who can shave two men at orce.--Exchange.
 And carry on two conversations at the same time, no doubt.
 In this age of canned goods we even have canned campaign speeches on the RraphophoEe.
 man up East has given nut the statement that we should eat seven meals lay. This fellow probably hoost trade.
 MT. Bryan recently gave a s1o t,p to q Pullman porter. MT. Taft belng what expensive for him to follow suit to compete in popularity.
 f. T am a great believer In humor." seys MT. Taft. Should he lose the ace wonder if the funny side of 1t would strike himi
 Fourteen thousand new lawyers hang out their shingles every year In the United States. And yet they call this free country.
 We meet with too much competition everywhere except in being good. Sometimes musician's execution is not only all right, but 1t would be good thing.
 To read the advertisements of some stenographic schools one would think he equipped with a knowledge Of shorthand.
 The pessinist Is so nice to tell us how happy we are not.
 Men may come and men may go but the promise of tariff revision under Re- publican administration will go on forever.
 With nothing else to take. Castro has taken vacation. But he's wei. There's a good big dose of medicine for him to take if he doesn't be good. 1neT6 De JOke8 anu JOKeS DuI OI all we ever heard the one about the fel. low up East who got so drunk he didn't know what he was doing and voted the Prohibition ticket undoubt- edly gets the blue ribbon.
 John Wells. of The Bpffalo News, Is Joshing Frank Adams. of The New York Mail. for writing daily of the ous Manhattan from a suburb of Buff falo, where Frank has been sojournjng for the past two months.
 For that matter. we are in posi- nished upon request that George Bailey, who is eternally warbling of the good Lord and His radiant Angels in Heavenly Houston. hoa. 6ln the City of An church in the past few years to hear the loudest anthem that ever anthed ooze even in an echo through the mul ti+colored chancel windows.
 John Reese, Drift Armstrong and Paul Cook are hereby formally noti- fled that our invitation of some months back still holds good for them to re- port in Nashville the last two weeks of the race, where they can observe a real ball club play some real ball and win another pennant.--Nashville Ten nesseean.
 A Face and a Rose. I'll weave you song of face and
 rose
 That l hAW0y6 see III dreams. And even by day when the south wind
 blows
 They're drifting before me 1t seems. A face with such beautiful eyes of
 blue
 And rose that so hated to die For she kissed it and gave it-all wet
 with dew
 The morn that we said goodbye! I'll weave you song of face and a
 rose
 But the face has gone away And the heart of me but sorrow
 knows,
 For half of it's in the clay. Yes, half of it's there in her grave
 so deep
 Where the tall grass o'er her And the beautiful eyes are closed in
 sleep
 That's the song of face and @.
 rosei
 PHIL H ARMSTRONG
 Jud~A Jeukina,a nafaat