davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
REAL FARM UPLIFTER.
PennsyIVania Has u Man WbS
Know How TO Raise Wheat.

PennsyIvania Has a Man WbS
Know How to Raise wheat.
Fro= The Pittsbgrg DispstcA-
a very small item in yesterdays pa
pers related the fact that John I. Smith,
OF Armstrong County. had tbrsshed 30
bushels OF wheat from four acres. The
size OF the item was not at all IA proper
ton 70 the importance Of the achievement
We viii not see Nr. Smith OF parade
receiving the plaudits Of the multitude,
Ike unto the athletes n New York re-
Gently. Nevertheless, Mr.. Smith, Of
Armstrong. is q first rater in his lire, and
his Hne is OF vital importance 10 hu-
manity.
When It IS noted that the average
production OF winter wheat in the United
states for 1867 was Il bushels per acre. the
so5A result secured by John Smith begins
70 loom large His product is almost six
times the average He is a veritable
Marathon race winner.
For Pennsylvania the average Per acre
was less than 19 bushels last year. The
state OF Washington. which had the
highest average. got but 2s5z bushels 10
the acre Mr. Smith comes IN with two
and two-thirds times that high average.
II IS a higher jump than was made by
the Olympic competitors.
Now John L Smith. using more brains
and less Drawn in his farming, makes
an acre yield more than eighty bushels
OF grain II the man who makes Two
blades OF grass grow where but one grew
before IS a benefactor 20 his race. how
about the man who makes three bushels
Of wheat grow where but one grew be-
fOre2
All honor 20 John I. Smith He is as
deserving OF laurel crown as Hayes
the winner OF the Marathon
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
The Vnctuous Fairbank..

t-7l sls S. Louis Tlrans
-ls- Fairbanks came q town YESTERDAY
i1li-'-ns SOY He was stiu a Republican
-ro-s.ly sclL BE had the glad hand f7-
everybody who looked IN upon him AZ The
Planters Hotel He was the versoniecs-
llcn o1 good cheer Ee was eTuIgent and
e1ie-FeSce1t. He was auecdotaI and apos-
tr5p-lizias- There was nothing IN his
word OF action that suggested the defeat
Cd candidate. nothing in his speech o.
manner 20 indicate that he was nor At
peace with al the world.
We rather take 81, indeed. that NJ.
Fairbanks IS not merely a defeated can
didate, but that he IS again a candidate
this time for 1872 Certainly Il 8 q fact
that the people with whom he has come
IN contact l- Missouri within Ire 17s-
Iorty-eigEt hours are ready with the con-
cl-sio1 that this new Tan Sycamore or
ne Wabash IS quite different person
J1a1 t1e man pictured by the par-erapl-
ers and cGrlcat-red by the CartOorIsts.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
SPEED AT SEA
Not Always So Fast at Figures
show.

Show.
Ffo1a TIE Bos,oa Trzns-i1N
When we are reading Of the remarkable
runs made BY the fastest Of fast liners OF
war ships Of the IEdomita5le type. we
should bear in mind that the uautica: day
IS not Invariably Jweaty-four hours long,
It's length varying with oceans and
courses There IS a distinction between
the days run and the distance cover
ed IN rwenty-fOE- hours which lands
men may not realize. but which record
makers OF breakers never forget For
instance. We were recently told that the
Lusita1.a 'Iogged the mighty total Of
20 knots IN twenty-four hours" from
Sunday noon 70 Monday noon The ex-
pia-ar.ou IS that the Lusitsria was run
ming westward. with the sun and the sun
could not Oyerta6e her on Monday until
more than rwenty-fOUr hours from Sun
day nooa had passed she was thus able
% steam thirty knots farther before the
stln caught her and made t eight bells
" hen ship Is moving west the faster
she gees the longer the day. Eastward
bound a ship runs 20 meet the sun and
tie day IS shorter than twenty-four
hours a correspondent commenting On
this subject writes.
s-11a near TIE po-es TIE ule-dia-s cce cIase- %
ee1 -ts1 lt c-r Atit1ds Il is obvious IA Z ths
81 near l-e poe we-e cre-- tie Lz-sitz-ia MT
b s-ezi-s -u1d the se-1s 7arsuei AZ abozst o-s
E---11r1 niles f-V-- the pole keep TIE ST. due
slf- q her ~ -11g a. sLs plezseG r-1l0zrlrg her
--s s --- FOX Ea-y GAYS CT ere1 ueeks ,.utiI hs-
slE.-y q t1el wls exhausted. r wClld he IN o.
many tines eUe-C-.our hou-s b1c j. would b al
within ore day
The moral Is Be careful how you wager
on what a ship can DO il "a day" Auaeri-
can trains regularly advertise their run
n11s tine westward; IL sounds two hours
better, even between this meridian and
that of the Mississippi than would TIE
east-hcEnd tl-re
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
Unreliable Testimony.

Rroza tAs sp-iurasld Rsra5li-an-
John r McLean's Cincinnati paper. the
Enquirer. has abandoned hope entirely
lhat AIr- Bryan can make gains IN the
West It should be pointed out thar Mr..
Mclean is very ulf-iendIy TO SIr. BRYAN
and that his Washington paper. the Post.
which denies that ours is a government
Of the people or was ever intended 10 be.
has az no time shown him any considera-
ton On this account the Enquirer's tes-
urnony by itself IS Of the preiudlcIaI sort
that requires confirmation from other
sources It IS too early 10 say that the
Republican fight II the West is already
won. ard i is certain that Mr. Hitchcock
IS not proceeding on that assumption
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
Famine in Chorus Girls.

Right on the eve OF the opening OF the
theatrical season comes word from Chi
caso that there is an alarming shortage
Of chorus girls. and from New York ct
the same tine comes word that good
chorus girls were never so scarce before
needs greatly 10 be perturbed by this
shortage. which. at its worst. can only
be temporary. Year by year as the pro
ducing managers have, by the production
Of musical comedies. burlesques. and the
other sDectacles which have been ousung
the drama from its place. been vitiating
the taste OF the Lheater-go,ng public. 50
has the demand for chorus girls grown.
This season the demand promises 10 be
larger than ever before. and. as even the
worst musical comedy has TO be backed
Up with a bevy Of pretty girls. it is not
surprising that the demand exceeds the
supply.
Time was when our paragraphers and
professional humorists had always a good
foundation for joke in the extreme age
of the chorus girl. and It was a standard
quip. that about the goIden-haired queen
Of burlesGue who turned out TO be a
grandmother. Other times. other man
ners. and nous avoHs change tout celia.
At any rate. the front-row spectators OF
the musical show to-day are less cauow
than those OF the generation passed De-
cepri0n IS not 50 easy; illusions have dis
appeared: and It IS the women themselves
who have taught the wise youth of this
generation that things are not always
what they seem" and so IT IS that the
present-5ay manager has TO look con-
stantiy for fresh material FOR his chorus
This age. which delights In near-sensuous
displays 10 the accompaniment OF re-
hashed music. demands the best and the
best is hard 10 get
The older chorus girls, who know the
ropes and the road. who have learned
through bitter experience how 70 stretch
their SIS a week so that It VIII carry
them through the working season and
leave them a little over-taese are stu
with Us and willing 70 work. but the de-
mand Tor them IS 10 m0re-or al best
confined 10 cheap buriesque. The young
er generation knows better. 7 IS coming
20 see that the tuxtapcsitioa of the
chorus girl and the belted carr does
not often come about in real life. and
that the chance OF the "b-oiler" os to-
day becoming the prina donna OF 90
is 50 slln as 10 be worth scarcely
a thought
The famine IN chorus girls IS not
caused by any lack OF pretty American
girls. Thank heavens that Is a crop that
viii never fan, It is caused, let Us hope.
simply because OF the larger growth os
common sense which has taught cur girls
that the joys and delights OF home and
home-folk, even though taey are humble. I
are more % be desired than the brief
butterfly existence of the stage: that the /
bright sunlight and the happy smiles Of /
real friends are worth infinitely more than
the gar-zh footIghts and the tiaseI
Let the chorus girI famine rage: Il viii I
not be the homes that hunger for the .
girls reared n love ard for a better eats
than TIE stage-
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
Encourage Timber Growing.

Er1-n TIE B---alo Es0rres~
The state forestry department Of Penn
sylvania has a plan which Il thinks VIII
grea1ly encourage the growing OF timber
n that state Il involves the establish
ment OF what are termed auxiliary forest
reserves It's principal features are de-
scri5ed rs follows Whenever the owners
Of woodlands will agree 70 turn over tim
Der lands TO the control OF the forestry
department that department shan desig-
nate such lands as auxiliary forest re-
serves. For q period OF ten years no
timber on such lands may be cut. and
during that tine 10 such lands shall be
assessed for taxation at q valuation ex-
CeedIlg 81 Per acre.
This IS a plan which apparently ullSht
work well and without any particular. .ex-
pense 10 either party The Stats would
simply take over the control Of the. p7ou-
erty with its Incidental protection and the
owner would be relieved OF practically all
taxes. At the end Of ten years It would
be returned TO him with the added value
resulting from ten years OF undisturbed
growth Of timber.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

right arm shot forth from his sturdy old
shoulder and conided with his nephew's
Jaw in exceedingly violent fashion. They
DO say an aid-de-camp outside the door
thought q small section OF the ceiling had
fallen IN al the moment The arcnduke
fed precipitately. presumably bent on sui
eide He evidently thought better Of that,
however. for the Emperor waited a few
days and then told the story himself, as
added punishment for his nephew's repre-
hensible conduct. excusing himself only
with the remark that there was. and
would be, nothing doing in the neighbor-
hood OF the royal excheqUer IN the mat
ter OF paying the debts Of poor kin rem
dere6 poor through dissipation
Now. here was strenuosity after our
own hearts. His imperial highness get
exactly what was coming 10 him-unless.
indeed, Francis Joseph might have added
2 parting kick in the bosom Of the arch
dukes trouserloons for good measure.
The aged Emperor has faced much sor-
roW-and never has he more surely acted
the part Of a king than when doing it.
he has cultivated q fatherly affection
fer his subjects; he has treated them
well; he has been a worthy and benign
ruler But he is not. and never was, any
fraction Of a moIlycoddle; and we are
glad 10 see that he Is stiu able 10 lose his
temper Ike a gentleman IN the face Of
justidable provocat.on. The next Aus
trian archduke who drops his wad al
Monte Carlo. OF some other seaport town. I
won't bother Francis Joseph about Il He /
IS much more likely 10 tell his troubles [
10 some helpless and defenseless police /
ma--
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
Bnbies md poIIaicr-

Eso-- TIE C,sve-a-d Pain Dez-rr
The babies aren't consulted They cant
help thenselves-- Some one ought 70
write a book on babies rights and make
Il clear that it IS taking advantage OF
some one smaller than yourself 10 put q
baby Up somewhere as an exhibit st a
political picnic Baby shows, Per Sc, are
rot deplorable. But IL IS too bad 20 put
the babies up 20 be passed upon. patte5-
ray. sometimes even kissed-by candi-
dates
4 Congressman comes I'D 10 make a
speech and just as likely as not he VIII
oe called upon 20 judge the relative mer-
rs o. varioUsly unhappy bunch Of IN
Ii1t Americans. Perhaps when the dis
ungUished guest come along the reallv
preJtlest baby may be squalling. and thus
the prize may 60 70 the wrong place. for
10 one VIII award q prize TO a squarler.
And. anyway. IS q candidate or a Con
gresham necessarily an expert on ha-
oiese For bench show OF this kind fr
would seem that other judges might serve
more appropriately rs cruelty 10 can
CiCaIeS 10 make them serve
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
..sociaIism for socinIi.m..

Prom the New York Sun
a called session Of Congress 10 revise
the tariff on the principle Of guaranteeing
"a reasonable profit" to manufacturers
Is that a proposition that is going 10 wake
70 ecstasy the now languid voters? So
cishsm for socialism. the government
guarantee Of national bank deposits Is
as skim milk 10 raw arrack in compari-
son with a government guarantee OF the
profits OF protected industries. Fortunate
y Mr. Taft has many titles 10 public
confidence. and he IS not dependent for
his strength upon the impudent and pre-
posterous Republican tarifr plank
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
Her Telephone Hnur-

Fron the New YORK Tribsgno.
= girl whose engagements are many and
who is therefore out a good deal has es-
tabEshed a telephone hour. In this way
her friends are always sure Of catching
her On the wire. and she comes n for
many unexpected good times that other
wise might be missed Until she did this
it was almost impossible to get her. Now
If she IS not al home AT the telephone
time she calls UD the house and tells her
maid where she may be reached The ar
rangement works 20 a charm, she saws.
and nothing would induce her to go back
70 the haphazard fashion OF any and 10
tine
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
difference In Mnh.

From tie Noble Reglster-
4 Southern mob confines its attention
strictly 70 the guilty or supposed TO be
guilty; all other negroes are safe. and "a
about their business as usual There may
be racial animosity down here. but not
enough OF Il 10 incite the mob to general
violence The reason IS that Southerners
Know the negroes, and are aware that
there are good negroes and a few bad
ones; whereas all negroes look alike 10
the Northern whites. and L the Northern
ezs dislike any, they dislike al Of thsa
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
TO SUBSCRIBERS.

That vacation OF yours viii be
Incomplete ualess The Washing
ton Herald follows you
II viii be like 4 daily letter
from home.
Wherever you are, IL viii reach
yOu regularly, and the address
VIII be changed as often n de-
sired.
Please be particular 20 state IN
zach case the length of tine you
desire paper sent 70 new address.
Daily 20 cents Z month; daily
md SUndya. 30 cents POSTAGE
prepaid.
Telephone Main $500.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
THE PLAYERS.

We arr the PLAYERS OF 4 pay
As old as earth
Between the Why's Of night a-d day.
VITA tears q ui-rh
Ihere Is 10 reoor5 q the Isaa
From whence Il czms
No legsnd % the play77ri-lt's hand
No b-u1-ed fame
OF thoss Who fo- TIE pseoe wee cast
In the frs night
Wen God Grew up His curtain vzst
And there vas Light
Be-are or EYES Gs We oous on
Fr7D age 20 a-6.
Flare ND the footli-ht df the dawn
On this round stage
u fr1lI. Unknown. bey0nd ths rlare
Vague shadows Ioon:
Ard sounds Ike uurrer.ur Winds an. tbs-a
Fo-Vbocing doom
Yet wistfuIly We keep the boa-ds;
Ard as we mend
Iho hlunderug f0-Votten wu-LS,
Hope . end.
I2 hear the storm-beat q applause
Fll our desire
Nnen the DARK pronpter gives Us pause
AID w ret-e
Bliss Carraa.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
CLEAN HORSE RACING.
Futurity IN Example of an Honestly
Conducted Content.

From The NrE Y--k Tines
Naskette has won the first clean FNl-
turity- Il was honest horse racing OF
the best kind Record time was made
and the spectacle could not be surpassed
on the race track Estimates vary Of the
number o. Spectators az the Sheepshead
Bay track Saturday. but there was a very
large number, considering the cost OF ad-
mission. The people Who used 10 th-ong
the race track. attracted only by tie sx-
cito-ce-t q gambling. were not there
Il W-s only horse race. not q holiday
q miserable men and women seeking
at the-risk o. money. something not their
oW1. % make more money.
The Fut-r.ty vas successful enough
as an exhibition, % p-ove that there IS
a future f1- horse racing divorced from
s-z'p--5s- P-5lse-Erg and b0oknakirE
are not needed 20 sustain interest os =
reasonably large part Of t1s public Ia
an eN1--aratlns sport, when the race is
ole worth seeing on its own account
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
Direct Evidence.

But they tell ne the young man writes
poetry"
7 can disprove that. dad"
How, daughter
Here IS q sample OF the STUFF"
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
No More Children

You may send me a gross Of bIbs."
Won't you overstock2" inquired the
careful salesman. I thought yours was
strictly swagger trade"
Oh, some people suu want EN- for
dOgs"
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Nj John D. Rockefeller recently gave
one Of his cousins $50 fer a wedding pres
enL The old gentleman incIines 10 loosen
Up since the big f-e was declared on
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

There IS something tbout this ''guaran-
teeing OF bank deposits business that
appeals 10 Us We should certainly like
70 be guaranteed a deposit every morn
ing
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

ing Monday As Mr.. Graves wasn't there
and didn't say anything at al, we guess
We must have been right
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Col Stewart IS said 20 be exhibiting al
most boyish innpatience to be on on that
ninety-uile horseback ride That gentle
mans outt-heaoed Perverseness may
make e hit with the President vet!
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
4 Neried Gunrnntee

From the Ohio STATE Journal
Col Bryan could make a great hit IN
this garden spot Of the world by devising
a scheme Ior the guaranty OF balloon
deposits
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
Good Time Cousn-

Prom the St Louis RerubIic.
Shall the people rulee Eventually.
Speaker Cannon has already passed the
three-score-and-ten mark.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Baron Munm may be the next Am
bassador from Germany. On. paragraph
ers refrainI" says the Cleveland Leader.
Refrain. nothing, And this one OF En-
peror Williams most extra dry little
fokese
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

II Air. William Waldorf Astor IS de-
termined 10 preserve his family name IN
that forthcoming title Of nobility. the
King should insist that he write it Ass
tor al any rate.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
One Adrnnfnre.

Why DO you object 10 reformed spell
ing IN public docunentsZ"
IT'S almost uninteIIgible."
-Al the easier 10 run IN Joker when
needs be
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

TAFT slipped Up when he told
begins an article in the Savannah News
Must be a mistake; the seismographs
hereab0Ut indicate no disturbance Of con-
sequence anywhere about the country.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

That story 10 the eject that a New
York restaurant waiter recently refused
2 tip was doubtless started by some nsh
liar working on a new assignment
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Won't Miss Lillian Russell kindly tell
use what Exhibit El44 looks likeq
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Ferdinand Pinney Earle d.5a't begin 20
act Ike a seceder from the AFFINITY"
union until he had his whiskers shaved
Of This shows the baneful influence that
nay sometimes be exerted by tr.ies light
as hair
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
Nor IIfrrnrv.

On bards Ike Shelley frow1ins,
And Keats,
She only talks OF Browning
The wheats.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Jack London says Mr.. Roosevelt Is "a
hopeless amateur IN nature study" Can
any BODY guess where Jack IS headed?
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

The Shah OF Persia Is said 10 be IN a
~conciliatory mood" This means. Of
course. that the revolutionists have him
oo TIE run. good and proper.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Stiu, we think the President may feel
assured the farmers lot isn't anything
Ike as hard as the beds he furnishes his
sumner boarders.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

The Washington Herald made mention
IL this column yesterday OF something 2Ir.
John Temple Graves omitted 10 say at
that Independence Party notification meet
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Ar- Aisgen is one Presidential U5ssi-
oil-Jy who hasn't threatened 10 csr Co
gress IN extra session. anyhow. Pen
Der thai
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
Well Named.

He calls his country place The Bal
kans.'
Yes; he says It gives him nothing but
trouble"
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Pennsylvania man. because he was
Jlted by bis sweetheart, hasn't spoken
i1 thirty years Ny goo6aessl Supposs
M Bryan rad been tuted.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
IncOnsistent Woman
sounds Familiar.

How DO you Ike the graphophoas as
a campaign speaker
Fine answered the causyic citizen.
But for an occasional whirr, couldn't
have told It from tie Hon Platitude
Bunk"
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Isn't II about tine 10 begin the watch
oUr-team-next-year talk in Wonderful
Washington
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Peter Porter petered out rather fnglo-
riously. after all
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

1Ir. Thomas z. Watson appears 70 hate
AR Bryan with a hate that IS positively
Iudicrous.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Unless Cen kuropatkiu's pen IS truly
n-gEtier than his sword, We can't see
where anything worth Will. IS 10 come
OF his magazine story concerning the Rus
sla-Japan war
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
The Boston Herald SAYS:

The Boston Herald saws.
The New York World. which Is s---yr-
glinE hard 70 be loyal 10 the party ticket
says that 2Er- Bryan has said AN -rar
IS to be said n favor OF guaranteed de-
posts. and then advises him that he has
made a mistake in sUpposing that he has
discovered a principle. for the scheme
IS only an expedieGt- But AIr. Bryan did
not expect 10 interest the East II de2osf-
guarantees His faith in the euaranree
plank as a political expedient in the West
may be vel founded"
The New Orleans states has an adf-
torial On the empty dinner pail. IN the
course CT which il says
When the fact IS considered that NIr
B F Toakun, chairman OF the executive
committee Of the Rock Island-F-isco
lines, IS good Republican, the way he is
going about the country talking OF co75i-
tons as he sees them Is well calculated
TO give Manager Hitchcock. Of the Taft
committee. bad case of the connipt!on
nts. He is so bold as 70 remind the Re
publican orators and journalists that IN
less they- have something TO propose that
VIII bring The prevailing depression 10 an
end they are likely 10 be treated 70 a
highly dlsaSree2ble surprise on election
night
II is useless he says, TO taIlsto the
10000 railroad men now out OF er7plov-
ment. with consequent loss OF s. 90 600
per month IN wages. about foreign poll
cles or tar-I on Imports because these
men and The million and a half Of their
more fortunate associates are rejecting
on the possibilities Of the coming. winter
and they viii insist upon being told what
the Republican leaders intend 10 do for
them in the way OF keeping the w5iS from
the door, rather than about tie more or
less ancient gIories Of the Republican
party which, among other things. claimed
20 be the source Of all prosperity.
'Statesranship not being his business.
Mr. Hoakum does not venture an opinion
as 70 what should be done. but It is evil
dent that he IS not sanguine as 70 the wis
dom OF the course the Republican poll
ucians Will adopt in the present crisis.
With the country fulI Of men seeking
work, while the stump speakers are seek
ing votes for the party that has con
trolled the government during the past
ten years, there is little reason 90 doubt
that he expects the popular verdict y. No
vember 70 be in favor Of a change in the
order OF things"
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

a writer n the current Atlantic Month
y discoUrses On The scarcity Of skunks. %
That article should have been held until
the Thaakssiviug issue.
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02
A LITTLE NONSENSE.
NOT sEIF-DECEIVING

The poet wrote about her shoes,
Described her dainty little tWos-
She read, indeed
His glowing screed,
But did not very much enthuse.
OF ecstasy she gave scant signs
As she perused the poets lines
Her smiles were few,
For well she knew.
The little shoes were number mines.
IncOnsiStent Woman
An. that poor starved cat"
But see, he has just caught a bird
oh, the bioodthirsty brute"
The Washington herald., 1908-09-02

Castro scorus his enemies" says a
venezuelan contemporary That's al
right; Il he would only co Il silently,