davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
eoy's Idea Of Baby.

"Pop!"
Eyes. my SON."
ibid the stork bring that new baby
of ours?"
Eyes, my boy"
Guess he was mighty glad to ct
rid of it, 1t cries 80 much!-Yonkers
Statesman.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Pr.I.s-ood e.rsbonss,

Praise-God Barebones was . fanat-
ical tanner of London. He became a
member Of parliament in 1858 and
headed a procession of the people in
protesting against the restoration Of
Charles II. to the throne. He was a
Baptist minister after 1880 and was
quite popular as a preacher.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

II fell in love at first sight" said the
New York girl Il don't suppose any
of you Boston girls ever do that?"
NO." replied the girl from the
Hub. Most of us Boston girls wear
glasses, you know!"-Yonkers States.
man.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Good Ones.
DR.. Henry Van Dyke Of Princeton.
who handles q trout rod almost as
deity as he handles a pen. was prais-
ing q book Of new flies. "They are
wonderful fies," he said. why, II
venture to leave any of them lying
around loose the spiders come and
carry them OF"
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Thinking Hard.

Yeast-This paper says four hours'
hard thinking exhausts the ordinary
person as much as ten hours Of man.
nal labor.
Crimsonbeak-Well guess that's
about right had to sit for four hours
and hear my daughter practice on the
piano. the other day. and can tell
you I did some pretty hard thinking.
-Yonkers Statesman.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
straight Path Away. Best.

Nations as well as men have gone
down to the dust in disgrace when
they fell away from the rectitude Of
morality and the code of truth. Sub
terfuge and dishonesty have paved the
way to extinction and oblivion. while
integrity and manhood have appraised
the standard of commonwealth and
placed 1t ON the sun crowned heights
Of victory.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Familiarity Breeds Contempt.

Familiarity Breeds Contempt.
Grandpa-Don't get scared. Willy:
the tiger Is about to be fed; that's
what makes him jump and roar 20.
Willy (easily)-Oh! amt afraid
of him, grandpa; papa's the same way
when his meals amt ready.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Here 10 one man who does not limit
himself to eight hours of work . day.
A farmer In the Bedsworth district,
Warwickshire, England. created a
local record in connection with
the hay harvest by working In one
field for 81 hours in single day. He
began cutting at 1880 a. m. and ceased
at ten o'clock At night, when the grass
was turned.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Are you one of those mean-spirited
men who ask their wives what they
do with the money they receive"
Certainly not" answered Mr.. Meek
ton. Il don't have to ask my wife.
She plays bridge whist. Washington
Star.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Wonderful Swiss Machine.

An automatic machine capable Of
threading 1000 needles per mipute il
a mechanical marvel Of a large Swiss
factory. The operation includes pick
ing up the needle, propelling 1t to the
suitable position. tying a knot. cut
ting the thread and returning the
needle to its assigned resting place.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
FsmlnIn. Hand In Literature.

Feminine Hand In Literature.
The literature of all European coun-
tries reveals the feminine hand. Male
writer's are devoting themselves more
and more to sport and industry. All
modern books are effeminate In char
acter.-Maenz, Vienna.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Unnecessarily Angry.
II hear you remarked at the club
last night that l was a thief and
liar?"
What of 1t? There was nobody
around but few Of your personal
friends"
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

0reatnsss Appreciated.
katy, who's in the high school," re-
marked Mr.. Dolan. have been readin'
Herbert Spencer to me-"
Who's Herbert Spencer
"He's wan " the smartest min an
earth. He could explain anythin' at
all ty yex II yez could only be polite
enough to stay awake an pay ATTN
ton" Star.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
The Crowd and Success.

The Crowd and Success.
To-day there are no public entertain
ments save those which are intended
for the world at large. Whether the
entertainment provided takes the
form Of the drama, music or sport, the
crowd is invited, and its presence is
indispensable for both financial and
moral success.-Hibbert Journal.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
We Keep on Being selfish.

We Keep on Being Selfish.
The source Of nearly all the evil and
unhappiness Of this world is selfish.
ness. We know 1t, but We still keep
on being selfish. We see that the
world might be made ideally beautiful
II only all the people would live un-
selfish lives; and yet we keep on be-
ing selfish.-Minot ]. Savage.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Try the Experiment,

A Boston writer says that Goethe
wrote the initials of his name. and.
folding 1t over. was surprised to get
a butterfly. 1t makes very pretty &C.
cupation for an idle Is minutes to see
what you will get, and some Of the
designs are pretty enough to be used
as embroidery patterns.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Needles Reminder.

you must not think that the mere
possession Of great wealth makes you
q man Of consequence"
you needn't have said that" an
swered Mr. Cumrox. Mother and the
girls let me understand 1t every time
we give q Observation-Disclosures Star.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

The best part Of a modern house is
its windows. To keep these open day
and night and to make the air inside
approach as nearly as possible the
air outside should be the first bust.
ness Of the housekeeper.-Good
Health.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Why He Never spoke.

There was man in our town, and
he was wondrous wise; he never
spoke unto his wife Of his mothers
cakes and pies. The secret of his wis
dom-guess it If you can; but II you
can't behold 1t - he was a bachelor
man.-Chicago News.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Learn for Yourself.

1t is a most beautiful and salutary
order Of things that you should first
bear the burden you place on others
and learn from yourself how men
should be ruled.-St. Bernard of Chair
vaux.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
sss. Part Of II.

A New York woman fired at a burg
lar who was entering her window. OF
course. she missed him. but the best
part of It is that she did not kill an
innocent passer by.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Landlord-I am sorry. my man. but
I shall have to raise your rent on
May 1.
Patrick-shure. an I'm much
obliged. I was wonderful how I could
raise it meself by thse toims.-Judgs.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Manual Training.

Manual training is no small part Of
public education and should be given
precedence over many Of the latter.
day frills and furbelows introduced
in the free schools.-Memphis Coin
mercial-Appeal.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Positive Proof.
Patron-How can you tell whether
couple are married or not?
Hotelkeeper-If he orders two whole
portions. they are not; II he orders
one portion for two. they are.-Judge.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Didn't Look u.
Mrs. Brindle-Now. Mary. want
you to be careful. This is. some very
old table linen-been in the family for
over 200 years, and
Mary-Ah, sure. ma'am, you needn't
worry. won't tell soul, and 1t looks
as good as new. anyway.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

you couldn't interest that capital
list In your flying machine?
"No," answered the inventor. II con-
WINGED him that 1t was practical, but
he couldn't see 1t because there were
NO provisions made for strap-hangins
passengers."-Washi Star.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

sunday-sehool Contributions.
The average missionary contribu-
ton for each pupil in the Sunday
schools is higher in the Episcopal de-
nomination than any other.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Well Acquainted

Mrs. Gadd-Your husband appears
to be very busy to-day, Mrs. Gabb.
Mrs. Gabb-Does he? Well, II he 10
very busy at anything, you may Just
be sure it's at something Of NO earthly
use to anybody but himself.-N. Y.
Weekly.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
eafeauarded.

DO you expect to get on well with
your foreign son-in-law?"
Surely" answered Mr.. Cumrox.
Neither of us can pronounce the
others name well enough to get on
quarreling terms of intimacy."-Wash-
ington Star.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Use Of Flowers.
There's no phosphorescence In flow.
ers to speak of. but they may tighten
up many darkened spot In life
Manchester Union.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

ms PF0Htt9s
you told me that II would lend
you my influence you would have =
place all picked out for me-"
$50 have" answered Senator Sorg-
hum. II have the very place for you.
The only difficulty is that the man
holding 1t at present ID one of these
obstinate long-lived people who don't
seem to care for the good Of their
country."-Washingt Star.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Mrs. Smythe. the young widow.
says she is going to break her hus-
bands will"
81 thought she did that soon after
they were married"
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

The Point Of View.
well, old man, after all, there's NO
place like home"
81 know 1t, durn It! But what m
going to DOL can't think Of any
place else to go!"-Cleveland Leader.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Lamp ChImneys,

Hang a hairpin on top Of lamp
glass and 1t will never crack. Put salt
in kerosene and the light will be
brighter.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Revised Holy writ.

H6Vtseo roy WIZ
It IL easier for camel to pass
through the eye of needle than 1t IL
for iS1ssssiAsvities to get rich man
intAFa house of correction.-Detroi
Tree Press.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Learn This To-Day.

The courtesy with which l receive a
stranger. and the civility show him,
form the background on which he
paints my portrait.-John Paul Rich.
ter.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Talent creates work; genius keeps
1t from dying.--Emerson.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Cause for Optimism

We have often observed that the
optimists hold down pretty good Jobs
Perhaps that's why they are.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Expensive luxuries.
Castles in the air cost vast deal
to keep up.-Lytton.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Or the LuhrieatIne OIL.
Love makes the world go round, but
money bugs the axle grease.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Seldom.
People seldom forget the names or
faces of those whom 1t may pay to
know.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Necessity is the mother Of hard
work with most Of us-Atlanta
Georgian.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Oxygen viii Not Rust Pure Iron.
Pure iron In the presence Of pure
oxygen does not rust.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Misplaced kindnessss.
Kindnesses misplaced are nothing
but curse and MISUNDERSTANDING.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Bobbie-Papa says honesty 10 the
best policy" doesn't he, mammal
Mamma-Yes, dear.
Bobbie-Well, how does he kAowf
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

A Phiianthroplst.
Robbins-That man has made Q
great many people happy.
Mack-Who is he:
Robbins-A divorce hwyeE
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Talleyrand: An ugly criticism
makes more noise than good book.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Personal.
My hands arc such peculiar things
I'm really glad own 'em:
They feed my face. they comb my hair,
But what 10 sad. they're fastened
where
cannot even loan 'em.
Ny ears are great. large loppy thinss
That stick out sideways from my head
And when it's cold they get quite fris
like 'em. though the trouble ID
They interfere when I'm in bed.
-Judge.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
orotssqua

oeoteeque.
He conceived . grotesqus within for
driving his car more slowly than Il
could 60. Friends warned him. but
he persisted.
At the end Of . month he began to
In six months he was taken to .
madhouse.
Poor fellow!" sighed everybody, In
speaking Of him.
Yet 1t was his own fatuousness
which had been his undoing.-Puck.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05
Europe and Heaven.

One difference between Europe and
heaven Is that people who make their
money in America can't go to heaven
to spend It.
The Meeker herald., 1908-12-05

Weary Lancelot-At the age of IL I
was left an orphan. guv'nor!
Crusty Old Gent-Well, and what
did you do with it?-Chips.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
N Q
BARGAINS HIVES r N EN T s
 FARMS
SOUTH HIGHLANDS.

s7500-East of goth street near Five Points and Highland avenue, we have substantial, modern 2-story, S. room frame residence on a good lot facing south. This is strictly a home proposition and is in splendid neighborhood. We can arrange easy terms.
 $60O0-An elegant brand new 2-story, S-room residence with furnace heat and all modern convenences. on an elevated lot accessible to two car lines and a splendid neighborhood; q small cash pay nent, balance like rent will secure this proposition. See us in time and ycu can have the in terior finish to suit your own taste and can get possession by October l.. $6500-On lot 50x200, a 2-story, we'll built frame residence, facing east, near Five Points and in walking dis tance of town. We can arrange very easy terms on this.
 $5000-We have in course of construc- tion a neat Groom bungalow In splendid neighborhood and conven tent to two car lines on South High lands. This place will be ready by October 1 and few hundred dollars in addition to the rent you are now paying will secure this cozy little home
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
Realty Bargains!

$2750=12 acres near Vivian and Enslev with 7-room house, etc 24 acres near suburbs of Ensley and Pratt City at sacrifice. s150o-10 acres. fee simple fronts pike. running water, miles out $5750 - Twostory, s-room. corner home, fronts car line, S. Hlds., $35 month.
 s5750-splendid 2-story. modern s. room home, west of goth street, s. Hlds. Easy terms. $4500-A beautiful modern. new Groom cottage home. gem. lids. $S250-A modern. cozy Groom cottage, lovely location Highlands. $2100-only $500 down and s25 month, new modern 5-room cottage on car line, West End
 $24O0-A snap. Choice new, modern G. room cottage. gas and electric lights, West End; in an excellent location, with large lot and one of the best bragains out there. $20O0-150x140. with 5-room cottage. West End, block of car line. $4500-Elegant little broom cottage, large lot and servants house, South Highlands.
 $4500-RentaI s600 white tenants, I dwellings, Avenue c. $4500-Rental $72O, 50x190, new stone houses, close to center. $4200-Will pay $500 year; 75x140. 4th avenue, north. Don't wait. $450o-Rental s4sO will bring $500; 9th avenue, north.
 $5o0o-Corner 6Ox190, S. 8 R. Home overlooks city highlands. A gem. $4000-Large corner, modern 6-room cottage, overlooks city highlands. $3500-Two coming business lots 1st avenue; buildings worth $2000; all go in at S3500 tomorrow. $2000-Can make this pay over 35 per cent. It Is 20Ox19O and a corner fronts railroad, level and the great est bargain in Avondale. Cost owner over $5O00; bought years ago. Must sell quick.
 The above are good bargains and will make you money. We have oth CTS that are so cheap the owners don't want to see 'em in print and forbi us sellin' except on the sly" Call for what you want. We have the best to be had.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
South Highland lO-Room
 Cottage

In this home you have every modern COIL venience and as many rooms, and rooms that are arranged and in design as beau- tiful as any s10,0o0 home on the High lands. The lot fronts on two streets, fine locality; the hall runs entirely through center of house, and when the various rooms are thrown open it makes magnificent display of reception halls. The price is only $60OO on easy terms. It has eastern exposure and the lot Is 55X200.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
Investments.

There is no better time than now to in- vest that surplus money we have; a number that are paying 10 and 12 per cent; this one Is a winner-large apart ments on South Highlands, S2o,ooo; yearly rental $2s40; figure this out for yourself.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
ONE GENT 4 WORD

RATES-One cent a word 8 ,elyy no ad. taken for less thnn 25 cents for first insertion. Cash must accompany every order.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
NORRIS REAL ES- TATE CONTAIN ' 2II7 Third Avenue
 BELL 1872.
 South Highlands
South Highlands

A beautiful colonial home in Rhodes Cir c1e. There is nothing we can say about this house that would in the least con vey the beauty of the place and loca- tion, but it will satisfy the most exact ing. The price is Sl0,0O0 It is worth s15.OOO: one-third cash will buy it, and to a discriminating homeseeker this place will appeal.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
The DauntleSS Salary Brigade
 Again to the Fore

We do not believe could site stronger proof that the growing of Birmingham superior to any and all dons than the fact that examination of books at the end of the first quarter of fiscal year which began April shows sales considerably of the period last when the tide of general prosperity still running strong
 Sales for the week just ended show good totain fact they up the for the quarter and particularly encouraging in that most of them to of small moderate This demonstrates that the faith of the s ary brigade in the future of Birmingham, commented upon last week, is stronger and more emphatic than
 We earnestly desire to encourage this class of citizens in the building of homes Whenever they purchase lots from ready to advance them money at per cent interest straghtfor building purposes and to give them the full benefit of construction experience and of facilities for purchasing material at the lowest prces This assistance coupled with terms reduces the burden of the modest home builder to the minimum
 Rirmin dha m R ea1ty Ca.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
10th Avenue SOuth-a
 Beautiful Cottage.

On elevated lot; gas, electric lights bath, etc. large airy rooms; one and one-half story, eight rooms; s425o; $500 cash, bal ance at per cent.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
ONE GENT A WORD RATEs-One cent a word a day; no ad taken for less than 20 cents TOT nrst insertion. Cash must accompany every order.
ROOMS FOR RENT.

TOR RENT~Fnrnished room on first floor in private family; no children. 1914 stb avenue, opposite Capitol park.
 6-2S-tf
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

FOR RENT-For light housekeeping to
 acceptable party, two nicely furnished front connecting rooms in handsome home, South Highlands; gas stove; elee- tric lights; phone wide front porch; eastern exposure; no children; close in.
 Call and give references at PIP Hum boldt avenue 8-1-2t
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
NORTH HIGHLANDS.

$4250-A brand new Groom cottage one block of car line; best part of Foun- tain Heights. This is a corner lot in a splendid neigh borho ood and you can name the terms.
 $2650-$300 cash and $25 per month will secure a neat little bungalow with five rooms, handsome cabinet man , tels, neat light fixtures. cozy little bath room, china press, and in fact complete little home. Why pay rent with an opportunity like this be- fore you.
 $5000-A good 2-story frame, Broom residence on North goth street. This place faces east on a lot 50x140 has cabinet mantels in every room, cleo tric lights and all modern conven . fences.
 We have number of other good prop ositions on the North Highlands
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

S650O-S1000 cash, balance easy, good To- room house on 11th avenue, south, lor 50x162 we'll finished; good stable on lot: this is a bargain and will not be on the market long; phone us quick to come and take you to see it. Jemison R. F.. & lns. Co.,, 2024 Sd avenue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
A Modern Up-tO-Date South Highland Cottage.

For only s45O0; fine yard, garden, fruit trees etc; hot and cold water bath, etc. gas, electric lights, and the de- ferred payments can be made at per cent small cash payment will take this, and you will have to act quick to buy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

FOR RENT-Commercial hotel at Gull man, Ala; furnished, 27 rooms, sample rooms, out-houses, wells, fine water, 1 calebiate 125 feet deep, shade trees around lot; most desira-
 ble location in town; lot 100x132 feet. Also for sale or exchange city lots and farm lands at bargain prices. ".
 T. l.. Cofer. S2-2t-su
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

We have two of those $50 payment homes left. one in West End and one in Wood lawn, and great number that you can buy for a cash payment of $250. It is a pleasure for us to show you, and we think we can suit you in home. In vacant lots. we have the cream of Nor wood and South Highlands.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

FOR RENT-Desk room cheap: 7-room near Five Points, $35; 1707 Avenue l, 6 rooms, $22.5O 13 rooms near business center, splendid house, $S5; rooms, Ris- ing Station, $15; 9 rooms, 11th ave, south, $45; rooms, near Terminal, $40; 2 rooms, near Terminal, $25; rooms, splendid house, North Highlands, $50; two nice Morris avenue places; new store on Sd avenue, $25; rooms 18th street, s20. McCarty Reese, 2115 Sd ave.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

FOR RENT-Four rooms with all modern convenences. suitable for light house. keeping. on 12th avenue. Northside rea- sonable rent and very desirable; no children. Peoples phone 1215.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

FOR RENT-Modren Broom house; furnished electric lights and gas; first-class in every particular. Posses sion given immediately If desired. Ap-
 ply c. H. Estes, sos Title Guarantee
 Bldg. S-z-tI
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

FOR RENT-Some nice connecting fur nished or unfurnished rooms; modern house; light housekeeping; near car line and commercial center; references exchanged. 2431 9th avenue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
WEST END.

$2500-A few hundred dollars cash balance about $25 per month will get the biggest snap in West End Lot 50x190, with strictly modern, nicely finish ed, well-built. neat cottage; has five rooms bath, electric lights, etc.. on car line, Tuscaloosa avenue. This place rents now for S22.50 per month will rent this fall for $25 per month. Will sell this fall for $3000. This is pick up, nice home, a splendid investment, and not Ion the ragged edge" but in frst-class negfbor- hood. This cd must be answered Monday, otherwise the place is not for sale at above price and terms. If you know good thing when you see it look at this while we have it. $2950-Small cash payment, balance monthly, rental basis, for a strictly modern broom cottage with bath, hot and cold water, sanitary connections, electric lights, gas, etc. Everything in perfect order inside and out, lot bOx190, in best part of West End Princeton Tuscaloosa ave.). Tmme- diate possession.
 $2100-$500 cash and S20 per month for a 2-story, Groom residence with bath, sanitary connections, cabinet mantels and all modern conveniences, on nice lot 50 feet of car line. This is a bargain.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

FOR RENT-Large, roomy house. 5tk avenue in boarding district; will put in shape to suit desirable tenant; rental $100 per month. A. A. Adams & Co.,, 210S 1st avenue. Both ph ones
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

ENSLEY acre bargain; 24 acres near su- burbs of Ensley and Pratt City; fine for truck, fruit and poultry; and sub divisions been made and sold joining at many times price of this tract; it Is im- proved and the greatest acre bargain on the market. B. F. Eborn, 1903 lst avenue Morris hotel.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

FOR RENT-Two furnished connecting rooms on first floor for light housekeep- ing; nice gas stove; all conveniences. 2309 7th avenue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02
Investment.

A business lot on 3d avenue for $3750. This Is a rdiculously low price, but we can show you; come in.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

TWO nice large, unfurnished rooms for light housekeeping; modern convent ences; good location; must be desirable parties. Peoples phone PITS, 616 North 22d street.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

FOR RENT-Nicely furnished cool, up stairs corner front room; iron beds; Per lection mattresses, everything new: electric lights, bath; IF blocks of Ter minal station. convenient for railroad conductors and Terminal station men; pass keys furnished; come and see 1t. 2504 9th avenue.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-08-02

FOR RENT-Eight rooms, North Haven, s25 month; rooms, 9th avenue, s35; I rooms, North Highlands, BIO. Slaton x Klotz, 2111 First avenue.