Dakota farmers' leader. (Canton, S.D.) 1890-19??, 1908-12-11
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GOOD Z
Short Stories .


An Atchison woman took an old-fasn-
Toned friend to church one night and
remarked that the acoustics of the room
| were something awful. Why" replied
| The old-fashioned lady, II don't smell
| anything"
One of the papers handed in at the
| examination of students training for
! employment as teachers described OH
| yer Cromwell AS "a man with coarse
| features and having q large, red nose
with deep religious convictions De-
meath"
One of the foremen on a railroad mas
a keen Gaelic wit. One warm after
| noon, while walking along the line, ne
| found enc Of his men placidly sleeping
on thu ~ambankment. The boss looked
! disgusJdly at the delinquent for a full
minute and then remarked: "Slape en-,
| you lazy spalpeen, Shape on, fur as long
as you slape you've got a job, but when
you wake up you aint got none"
Congressman Francis w. Cushman of
Washington some time ago had occa-
| sion to visit one of the noted physicians
| at the national capital and was com
PEELED for many weary minutes to cool
| his heels in an ante-room. Finally,
his patience becoming exhausted, he
summoned an attendant, to whom he
said: present my compliments to the
| doctor, and tell him if I am not adj
mitted in five minutes I shall get well
again" The physician found it con-
~yenient to admit Mr.. Cushman at once.
The college president was entertain
ing a freshman at dinner, when the
conversation turned upon football. To
| the students surprise, the president dis
played Il thorough familiarity with the
game, and proceeded to discuss It as
earnestly as though it had been Greek
fr mathematics. Indeed, his treatment
Of the topic brought out so many POINTS
that the freshman had overlooked that
| The youth was moved to remark to his
hostess: swell, this talk with Presi-
lent Blank has showed me how true 1t
is we never meet my one from whom
re can't learn something!'
Representative Cushman of Wash
lDStoI CiIlC " SDSthSl SdIllloH Will "
letter written by the Speaker himself.
"Mr. Speaker he said, 81 got this let
ter from you yesterday and I couldn't
read 1t. After l studied it quite a spell
/, showed it to twenty or thirty fellows
in the House, and, between us. we have
xpelled out all the words except those
asst three. We can't make them out.
7 uyonf RI 1yr,nx, q x,O,, r-nntt ro nclnfa
those last three. wordsY Uncle Joe took
Che letter and studied it. ""Those last
three words that stuck you and every
body else" he said, are personal and
confidential"
The late Bishop Potter once in his
early days had occasion to o~ficiate at
a christening in a small fishing village
OH the Massachusetts coast. The proud
father, a young fisherman. awkwardly
holding his first-born daughter, was
visibly embarrassed under the scrutiny
of the many eyes in the congregation,
and his nervousness was not decreased
by the sudden waiting of the infant as
they stood at the FONT. When the time
for the baptism of the babe arrived the
bishop noticed that the father was hold
Ing the child so that it's fat little legs
pointed toward the font. .sTurn her
this way" he whispered, but the father
was too disconnected to hear or under
stand. Turn her feet around,". the
bishop whispered again but still there
was no response. The situation was
fast becoming critical. when an ancient
mariner in the back of the church came
to the rescue. Putting his weather.
beaten hand to his mouth, he roared
across the room. Head her up to the,
wind, Jack!"