davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
IN HUMOROUS VEIN.
Chong. Celery Seller.


Now young Quow Chong, a clever Chink,
Whose tint was saffron sallowry,
Held up his boss with this: ME think
Me want a bigler salary"
His boss, a tight wad, said: mo, Quow,
Hi will not 'oist your selary."
Wherein Quow said: me leave you now
To go to rise much celery"
So Quow went off to find a place
Appropriate for celery,
And found in time a nice large space,
All dark and cool and cellarey.
n there he grew the fruit right well,
And lived his days quite cellarey
Except when he went out to SELL
o what a winning seller he!
One day his ex-boss met young Quow-
Sneered he: well, 'ow's tibet selary?"
Said Quow: NJ max much monty now
A-sellin' cellar celery"
Richmond Times-Dispatch.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
Ready for All Corners.

The passengers were suddenly startled
by a shower of rice that fell from the
brides p~arasol when she took 1t from the
rack. The bridegroom, a dark, stalwart
chap, observing the smiles, placed his arm
about his blushing bride, and then faced
the passengers with the following re-
marks:
say we amt been married long; but l can
tell you all one thing. You don't want
to smile any more than's perlite; for she's
violet and I'm her sheltering oak, and
I weighs two hundred and eight pounds"
Success.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
Acting the Part.

The curtain had just gone down on the
second act. leaving the heroine in the viii
lain's clutches. Up in the balcony a senti-
mental woman burst into tears.
Don't cry, dear" said her husband.
Remember, it's only a play. Act like a
mani"
Every well, John" said the lady, smil-
ing through her tears; you'll excuse me
for a moment, won't you? 1 must run out
and send a Observation-Disclosures
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
The Morals of NoveIists.

Surely any writer of books that sell
upon their merits could grind out a book
that would sell upon it's obseenity. The
fact that very few Of them take advan-
shows that writer folk are a very decent
set, indeed, and very much inclined to
put forth their best efforts instead of their
worst, contenting themselves with modest
receipts for legitimate work instead of
seeking to wallow in wealth won by aim
ing at the infraction of the Federal
statutes, and then going about trying to
get free publicly by provoking the wrath
of he respectable element Of society,"
Louisville Courier-Journal.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
NavnI Lieutenant.

To the Editor of the, Evening Star:
What is the exact comparative rank and
authority of a naval lieutenant?
B. w. N.
IA lieutenant Of the United States navy
is an officer above the rank of ensign and
below that of Observation-Disclosures.
There are two grades of lieutenants-those
of the senior grade, ranking with captains
of the army, and those of the junior grade,
with first lieutenants of the army. The
pay of lieutenants when at sea is the same
as that Of officers of corresponding rank
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
A Hnrd-worked pronoun.

A quarryman was charged with assault
ing one of his mates, and when the case
was carried into court, an eyewitness OF
the occurrence gave some curious evidence.
He TUX a pick an he TUX a pick the
witness began, IAN he hit him wild his
pick, an he hit him Wild his pick; an IL
he'd hit him wild his as hard as he hit
i'm wild his, he'd have near killed him, an
not him hin. = Companion.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
The Power Case.

From beginning to end there has been
too much politics in this case. The murder
was political, the protection offered to
Taylor by the Indiana executives was
political, the first three convictions of
Powers were undoubtedly political. 1t is
very unfortunate hat so strictly judicial
a matter as d trial for murder has not
been conducted without the slightest faint
or suspicion of political influence. -Cleve-
land Plain Dealer,
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
The Speed Limit.

An Englishman, an Irishman. and a
Scotchman were one day arguing as to
which of the three countries possessed the
fastest trains.
"Well,' said the Englishman, "I've been
in one Of our trains, and the telegraph
poles have been like a hedge"
I've seen the milestones appear like
tombstones,' said the Scot.
BE jabbers,' said Pat, 81 was one
day in a train in my country, and we
passed a field of turnips and a field of
carrots, also a field of cabbage and pars-
ley, then a pond of water, and we were
going that quick l thought it was BROTH"
London Tft-Bits.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
His Military Training.

young man, do you know anything
about soldiering?'' asked the recruiting
sergeant, bluntly,
"A-a little, sir" faltered the chappy
with white hands and pink cheeks.
And what has been your experience? ?"
IL nave been using a pair of military
brushes for over ten years, sir."-Chicago
News.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
Rourh ON ChnmeIeonn.

The Professor can't find the cha
meleon, Harris.
Harris-No, sir; we've 'ad an accident
with i'm. 1 put i'm on a lettuce and 'e
turned green. Then I put him on a
tomato and e turned red. Then 1 set
i'm on a piece of tartan plaid, and e
Observation-Disclosures Inquirer.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
Poor FeIIoM.

Beggar W~oman-Can yer assist me, kind
lady? Me poor husband can't git out and
about.
Lady-What's the matter with your hus-
bands?
Beggar Woman-He's in prison, kind
lady.-The Taller.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08

Mr.. Microbe-Horrible catastrophe! Ten
million lives lost!
Mrs. Microbe-Good gracious, Mikel
What happened?
THE First National Bank, without a
word of warning. sterilized a dollar bill"
independent.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
The Yarmouth DivOrce su,t.

The pathetic ending of this international
marriage is not surprising or instructive.
All similar marriages have similar end
ings, and yet they continue to be repeated
by foolish, frivolous American girls with
ambitious wealthy parents and prohigate
foreign spendthrifts from impoverished
noble families. Experience has proved a
worthless teacher as far as internationa
marriages are concerned.
The Yarmouth domestic failure will
neither point a moral nor acorn a tale for
a foreign title and whose rich parents are
willing and anxious to pay for it.-Atlanta
Georgian and News.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
south's Right to Prosperity.

Hard times and a money famine are an
absolute paradox in Georgia and the South
of today. Never before in the history of
the State and the section hav their people
been so lavishly surrounded by factors
which the experience of ages has shown
should make these conditions impossible.
Georgia and every Southern State are abb
solutely entitled to prosperity now and to
prosperity for the opening year. What
there is of lack of confidence and of a
slackening of industry, may be ascribed
Constitution.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
FROM STAR READERS

Anonymous communication cannot hs
printed. Except on political subjects the
names Of correspondents are not required for
publication. but as a guarantee Of good faith.
Ed
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
The Poor. silIr GirI,

An heiress who lived in Dubuque
Was .courted and won by a duque;
But the nobleman gay
Made her wealth fade away,
And she had to go out as a cuque.
Philadelphia Press.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
eovERNMENr OF THE CANAL ZONE

Criticism is made of the bill intro
duced by Representative Mann, of IL
linois, for the government of the
Panama canal zone, the construction
of the canal and kindred purposes.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
VIEWS OF EDITORS.
Lesaonn Of the Times.

It is not easy to teach the American
people the value of economy. but some of
them are learning 1t, and It will be worth
all the self-denial 1t costs If in the flood of
prosperity 1t is not again forgotten.-Nash-
vile American.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
Leave II 10 the Gamblers.

Now that the Japanese spies have done
their deadly w~ork-have photographed the
city hall at Portland, Oregon, measured
the distance between San Francisco and
Seattle, taker. the depth Of the water In
the main channel of the Potomac, counted
the skyscrapers in New York, traced the
crooked streets of old Boston, hurriedly
glanced al the coast line of Maine, and
thus prepared Japan to strike-the latest
news is that the army and navy are under
orders and war will soon begin. Paris is
greatly excited, and SPECTATORS are finger
ing the ticker nervously. Suppose we
leave it to all the gamblers. Suppose we let
the ticker do its deadly work, instead of
lying awake Lights bordering tall yarns
conceived either in ignorance or malice,
and circulated for pocketbook purposes
only.-Washington Star.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
Line and star.

There is a standing quarrel between line
and staff in pretty nearly every country,
and 1t Is not to be expected tLAc America
should be exempt from the same disturb
ance. The President meets the matter
squarely and puts Admiral Brownson
thoroughly In the wrong. 1t is only a pro-
fessional and largely selfish view which
contends that officers of the line should be
kept in command even of hospital ships.
The plain people nave very little interest
in naval quarrels, or military either, and
upon a fair understanding OF this dispute
the almost unanimous sentiment of the
country is with the President.
Half the trouble in all the military service
in the last 100 years has come from the idea
that every man was an independent Amer
lean citizen and could do what he pleased
without the least regard to orders or dis
cipline. 1t Is certainly time that matters
of that kind were taken in hand by the
commander-in-chief.-Buffalo News.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08
The War on BlIlboards.

A spirited and successful crusade against
the encroachments of billboards upon the
landscape in the neighborhood of cities is
pelng waged In Pittsburg. Cincinnati, St.
Paul, Tacoma and other municipalities. A
similar campaign has been carried on in
Great Britain for fifteen years. Slowly
but surely the sentiment is gaining ground
that THE city beautiful is an absolute
imposslbility so long as the unrestrained
and unregulated use of enormous bill
boards, disfiguring the landscape and dis
torting the skyline, is permitted. Clinton
Rogers Woodruff says pertinently: "Cities
spend tens and hundreds of thousands for
beautiful buildings, for parks and park
ways and Fairgrounds, and then allow the
billposter to use them as a background
for his flaming advertisements. boston
Globe.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08

A sensible New York magistrate has de-
clded 1t is no part of Il policeman's duty
to inveigle the unwary into the commission
OF an offense against the law with intent
TO bring them to judgment. An over
Jealous officer, in disguise, induced a hotel
waiter to procure him a little whiskey on
sunday, making the plea that it was for
a SICK daughter. Immediately on ~receiv-
ing the forbidden beverage from the SYM
pathetic waiter, the othcer arrested the
END and next morning appeared
against him in court. The magistrate, on
learning all the facts, dismissed the case
and gave the policeman a sound rebuke
Tor going beyond the limits of his duty
Philadelphia TELEGRAPH.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08

Queen Alexandra has lately conceived a
great liking for fencing, and is now taking
lessonc from one of the best known fenc-
ing masters in London.
The evening star and Newark advertiser. [volume] (Newark, N.J.) 1907-1908, 1908-01-08

DIR. George 1. Adams has returned to
Washington from Peru, where, since 1905,
he has bsen chief %geologist to the govern
ment of Peru.
, 1908-10-30
Winners Of Reward.

The answer to Thursdays problem
is that a man can buy n Of our
Grand Avenue lots for s250.0O now,
pay $3.50 down and s6.25 per month
until January LIST, 1911, and If that lot,
located In the very best part of Lara
ME, three to four blocks from the
public school, and having now well
graded streets, city sewer and q per-
petual free water right, Is worth only
$323.03 in three years from January
LIST, 1908, the purchaser will still make
just twice the croft he would have
made had he bought Laramie building
and loan stock. AS a matter Of fact
every such lot will be worth 5000 be-
fore January 1st, 1911, and the pur.
chaser will make ten times as much
as If he had bought building and loan
stock
The winners are given below and
may call at The Laramie Republican
office and get their money:
Mrs. Nellie Knight, 44 Eleventh
street, 1920 p. m. Thursday.
Helen W. Dart, 709 Grand avenue.
7:21 p. m. Thursday.
J. DeLTowar, 1920 Grand avenue.
1855 p. m. Thursday.
Mrs. Anna Haley George. Laramie,
$50 a. m. Friday.
Several other answers we're very
close, but only four correct.
Watch tomorrow's paper.
t0F p. r. McKILLLP, Agent.
, 1908-10-30
GREATLY PLEASED
WITH THEIR TRIP.

Mr.. and Mrs. John R. James and E.
M. Kester, who went from here to
Walden to inspect the coal lands be-
longing to the Laramie Plains line in
North park, returned late yesterday af-
ternoon, leaving in the evening for
their homes. MI. Kester had visited
Walden before, but Mr.. and Mrs.
James were making their first trip.
The wonderful coal measure toward
which the railroad is building was
pronounced by the fasteners as a
marvel and they were delighted at
the evidence of development going on
there. While they were at the mines
a large drilling plant arrived and will
be set up to test the extent of the
immense bed OF coal and determine the
course to be pursued when the rail-
roal shall have reached the park. The
gentlemen yer delighted, expressing
entire satisfaction. Mr.. James is a
large capitalist Of Shenandoah, Pa.
and had no idea of the immensely OF
the bed of coal at Walden.
, 1908-10-30
Luck IS good only IN baking bread Judgment is always good Ia buung Supplies from
and having ym buadng lone by the B@tn and Wyoming Lumber Company.
DISSOLUTION OF PARTNERSHIP
BARNETT MERCANTILE CT

0HnTNGtt IN tb66 W.
1t Is with deep regret that we learn
as We are going to press, that, at a
recent meeting Of the directors of the
Barnett Mercantile company, held at
the company's store in this city, 1t was
decided to dissolve the partnership
now existing Of the above concern.
Just why the directors arrived at this
decision we have been unable to learn.
The Barnett Mercantile company also
" and operate the barnett Big
Busy Store" in Cheyenne and like it's
sister store In Laramie. Is a monument
Of energy, ambition, pluck and per
severance. The Barnett Mercantile
company are entitled to commentator
for giving to Laramie and Cheyenne
two such stores. Just What effect their
decision will have upon the continue
ton OF either store, we have not been
able to learn. but 1t is to be sincerely
hoped by the public of both cities that
they will decide to continue. as the
name Barnett" has; become a house
hold word among the people OF Lara
ME and Albany counties.
LATER: We have just learned
through G. H. Barnett, secretary and
treasurer and manager Of the Laramie
store. that the two stores will be con
tinued, the decision Of the directors in
no way interfering with the regular
business. The officers of the present
organization are as follows: W. B.
Barnett, president and general man
ager; H. L. Barnett, vice president; G,
H. Barnett, secretary and treasurer;
J. B. Barnett, director.
, 1908-10-30

Fred Ihmsen is home from Tie Sid

Fred Ihmsen is home from Tie Sid
ing.
Fancy Keifer pears, $2.10 per box.
Gem City Grocery company.
Mrs. Geo. w. Fox came in from zhe
ranch to visit Mrs. Blake today.
R. d. Stewart went out over the
new work on the Walden extension
of the Laramie plains line, and will
probably return tomorrow afternoon.
Percy Kent, son of Manager Kent
of the Northwestern Land and Iron
company, will leave Sunday for Lin
coin, Neb.. where he will enter the
Nebraska agricultural college for a
course in agriculture.
Judge Hugh Hynds left this after
noon for Rawlins. where he will assist
tomorrow afternoon in the laying of
the corner stone of the new Masonic
temple for Rawlins lodge. He is the
grand JUROR warden Of the grand
lodge of Wyoming, Masons. Several
of the grand officers will be present.
See GRAHAM & Son for all kinds of
furnace work. Leave orders at the
Gem City Grocery. 66t5
, 1908-10-30
Market REPORTS
Live Stock at South Omaha

South Omaha. Oct. 30.-Cattle-Re-
ceipts 1900 head. Market Steady.
Western steers, $3.25@5.35; Texas
steers, $3.0004.40; range cows and
heifers, $2.50@2.75; Gamers, $4,000
2.e0; stockers n feeders. $2.750
500; calves. $3.00@5.75; bulls, 5000
$500.
Hogs-Receipts 1000 head. Mar
ket steady to shade lower. Heavy,
s5.55@5.75; mixed. $5.5O@5.6O; light,
$5.35@5.60; pigs, $3.25@5.00; bulk OF
sales, $5.50@5.65.
SheeprReceipts 1900 head. Mar.
ket steady. fYearlings, $4.25 OATS;
wethers, $3.75@4.30; ewes. $S.25@4.00;
lambs, $5.O0@5.60.
, 1908-10-30
BRIEFLY MENTIONED.

Bellamy & Son. the engineers.
Partly cloudy the most Of the day.
w. B. Schilling, consulting engineer.
The bank barometer today marked
23.16.
New stock fish, better than ever,
only 20 cents a pound. Gem City
Grocery company.
Ben Bellamy is a very busy man
these days. He went to Hanna last
night, returned on train No. 8 early
this morning. and this afternoon de-
parted for Rock River.
The Denver, Laramie and North
western car Yellowstone will pass
through the city tonight, returning to
Denver with the recent excursion party
to the coal lands of the company at
Elk Mountain.
G. w. Penn Of Leslie, who has been
east with a shipment Of cattle, return
ed to the city this morning, having dis
posed of the stock at satisfactory
prices. He was not here by his bust
ness partner e. P. Baker, who came
from his home at Leslie on purpose.
, 1908-10-30
FALLAC|ES
OF BRYAN
KEYSTONE WRITER HAS SOME
SOUND ARGUMENTS AGAINST
THEIR INTRODUCTION.
Wild Cat Banks Would Be Fostsred
BY Gus n Of Bank Deposits
Rather Than Retardsd-Argu.
ments Of Some Bankers and Demo-
orats running Wild in Mountains.
Keystone, wyo., Oct. ~, 1908.

Keystone, Wyo, Oct. II, 1908.
To the Editor OF The Republican.
According to the democratic plat,
form Of 1900, under the leadership OF
". ]. Bryan. the free and unlimited
coinage OF silver at a ratio OF 16 to 1
was the only absolutely sure cure for
panics, as presented by the infallible
w. j. Bryan and his followers.
Eight years later Mr.. Bryan appears
with a new and violent remedy, which
he guarantees is absolutely infallibles
as a preventative and cure for panics.
1t is that we favor the government
guarantee of national bank deposits,
basis of gold at any ratio If the gov
ernment is to stand for the wild cat
bankers loss. Why not share in the
profits?
Wild Cat Speculation.
A government guarantee of the de-
posits in a national bank would If
anything encourage wild cat specula-
ton instead of ~retarding ii. If the
government guarantees the national
bank deposits, why not other lines of
business? II you're to put your money
in a place for safe keeping establish
the postal saving bank, which needs
no new department to guarantee.
High Interest Rate.
II you wish to hold somebody up on
a high rate Of interest or graft, expec.
to run some risk with your money, but
don't ask the government to aid you
in doing so.
A law to put the bank guarantee law
into effect would necessarily require
a new ie1artment and also many gov.
eminent officials.
If you were to take the argument OF
some Of the democrats and certain
bankers, you would be led to believe
that the national bank was the only
lawful n legitimate business and
avenue thu. money could be put into
circulation, and the only way to dc
away with burglars.
Very truly yours,
A. G. RICHARDS.
, 1908-10-30

FOR A LONG COLD DRIVE EQUIP
YOURSELF WITH ONE OF OUR
CARRIAGE WARMERS. THEY WILL
INSURE COMFORT. WE ALSO KEEP
THE FUEL FOR THEM. w. H. HoL-
LiDAY CO.
, 1908-10-30
CHICAGO Live stock Market.

Chicago, Oct. Notwithstanding
$500 head. Market steady. Beeves,
$3.15@7.50; Texans. $3.26@4.5O; west
ern, $3.O0@5.85; stockers and feed
ers, $2.5O@5.25; calves. $6.0O@8.O0;
COWS and heifers, $1.50@5.25.
Sheep-Receipts 5000 head. Vest
ern. $2.50@4.7O; yearlings, $4.5O05.10;
western lambs, $4.O0@6.00.
, 1908-10-30
WEATHER REPORT
FROM THE UNIVERSITY

Prof. A. E. Bells, observer at the
university weather station, gives the
following figures for twenty-four hours
ending at moor today, Is recorded by
the instruments in the office of the
experiment station at the university:
Maximum temperature, sc degrees.
Minimum temperature, 30 degrees.
Barometer, 23.116.
Total wind, 2O7 miles; prevailing di-
rection, south.
Maximum velocity, south, 16 miles
an hour at 3 p. m. yesterday.
Relative humidity, 43 per cent.
Dew point, 16 degrees.
, 1908-10-30

Don't forget the election dance given
by the Eagles at Maennerchor hall
Tuesday evening Nov. 8. Election re
turns will be announced during the
evening Supper by the ladies' auxili-
airy to the B. of R. T.. 69t2
, 1908-10-30

Mr.. Taft welcomes publicity both as
to the source and the expenditure Of
campaign contributions. The Demo
Gratis profess to be willing to tell
where they got It," but are unwilling
to tell what they do with II.
, 1908-10-30
Closing stock Quotations.

New York, Oct. 30.-Union Pacific,
173A; Southern Pacific. 108N; Anal
gamated, 80A; Atchison. SO; do pre-
ferred, 95A New York Central, 1854;
Pennsylvania, 1861; steel, AK; do
preferred, 110%.
, 1908-10-30
Grain and Provision. at CHICAGO.

Chicago, Oct. 30.-Wheat-Dec.,
$1.OOk @1.O0% May. $1.04. Corn
Oct, SOC; Dec, 63A @63Tc. Oats
Dec, 48A; May, 50Ac.
Pork-Oct., $14.25; Dec, $14.40.
Lard-Oct. and Nov, $9.45. Ribs
Oct, $500; jan, $s.47h.
, 1908-10-30
How's This?

We offer n hundred dollars reward
for any case Of catarrh that cannot be
cured by Halls Catarrh Cure.
F. J. CHENEY & CO., Toledo, o.
We, the undersigned. have known F.
]. Cheney for the past 15 years, ard
believe him perfectly honorable in all
business transactions and financially
able to carry out any obligations made
by the arm.
WALDING, KINNAN Z MARVIN.
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, y. /,
Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken inter
nally, acting directly upon tho blood
and mucous surfaces OF the system.
Testimonials sent free. Price 7sc per
bottle. Sold by all druggists.
Take Halls Family Pills for consti-
patton.
, 1908-10-30

The wage earning voters Of the coun-
try have twice enjoined Bryan from
the presidency. This year they will
make the Injunction permanent.
, 1908-10-30

Remember:
The Baptist ladies' Bake sale" at
Coolican's store tomorrow afternoon at
2:30.
, 1908-10-30

Lead. Copper and Bar Silver.
New York. Oct. 30.-Lead, $4.32k
@4.37h; copper firm. $13.75@1400;
silver, SOC per ounce.
st. Louis, Oct. 30.-Spelter higher.
at $3.50.
, 1908-10-30
New YORK EInancl.I Marked.

New York, Oct. 30.-Money on call
per cent: prime mercantile
paper, 4@4h per cent
, 1908-10-30

If In need Of electric supplies. lamps.
ety., call phone two-nve-O black. F.
W. OFT Soft
, 1908-10-30

Sauer Kraut, Spin
ach and the most com.
plete line of Pickles,
Olives, etc., at the Pa
cifc Market.
, 1908-10-30

We do first-class washing and iron
ing. Called for and delivered. So
north Third. est