Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-03-06
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! IL the wife is bad cook the hus-
band is apt to be a good rooster.
Would you accept him If you were
IT. Il certainly should-if were
you !"-London Opinion.
Can she keep a secret?" NO, but
she can keep cook. and that's some
thing to brag about" -Exchange
HE not only was infatuated with the
| girl, but he fell In love with the whole
family ''Then they all had money,
| eh?"
The Parental voice-Maud IL that
young man gone yet? The Daughter
Yves. papa he says he is.-Cleyeland
| Leader.
so you want a job, hey? Well,
what did you do at your last place."
i Il didn't do anything was the office
boy" Judge.
Mr.. Askitt-Do you think marriage
is failure? Mrs. De Vorsay-No;
only temporary embarrassment
Illustrated Bits
She-How many men owe their sue
cess in life TO their wives? He--And
how many men owe their wives to their
success In life?
| Eph Green-Ah desires to purchase
ali raz1er. Clerk Safety? Eph Green
No, sab: dis am TO social usage
Harper's Weekly.
First Doctcr-Yes, sir; I've had 40
cases of appendicitis. Second Doctor
Lose any? First Doctor-Not one.
They all paid up.
| Doctor believe you have some sort
of poison In your system Patient
Shouldn't wonder. What was that last
stuff you gave me?
II believe In laying something by
for rainy day remarked the absent
minded man as he appropriated
strangers umbrella.
Overheard In Restaurant--W igg
Didn't the waiter say this was spring
lamb? Wagg Yes, but he looked rath-
er sheepish about It.
Tourist docking over a deep preci-
picel-l suppose people fall down here
often, don't they? Guide--No; once Is
enough for most OF EN-.
How shall we announce our en-
gagementp' Tell a couple Of your
girl friends and make them promise
not to tell. - Houston Post.
what did you think Of my speech?"
asked the orator. at was beautiful"
said the young woman, ut made me
think of my commencement essay"
Applicant What is the first thing to
do before you get a marriage license?
J License Clcrk-Thnk 1t over young
man; think 1t over. Illustrated Bits.
$50 Galley really had to pay Miss
Yerner fifty thousand dollars for
breach of promlse2 YES, and now
he wants TO marry her for her money"
Customer don't like the shoes;
the soles are too thick. Shopman--You
will learn to like them as the objec-
tions you speak Of will gradually wear
off.
"But, George" said she to the hand
some young volunteer, what would
you really 90 ii JueIe WIS suuueH
cry TO arms, to armsT" We'll" said
George, ''it would depend. II the cry
issued from your lips | think | should
come"
General" said the fair vegetarian,
You should abandon the beef diet.
Look at the deer. 1t eats nothing but
grass and leaves. and yet 1t can out
run the hounds for hours" Madam,
/ require food that will prevent my
running"
oyer was standing on the sidewalk
as n wedding party came down the
church steps. What are you doing
hereY' querled his friend Myer, who
happened along just then. Watching
the tied go out" answered oyer. with
an open-faeed grin.
Pardon me- said Ascum, but it
must be tough to be married to a strOug
| minded woman" "0h," replied Hen
peck, lit has its advantages. When
ms wife thinks she hears burglars
downstairs, she won't trust me TO go
down and investigate, "--Phlladelphia
| prpss