davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Where Animals Beat Men

Mature taking aside said John Lover,
the Zoo keeper, mice won't eat cleo. IT
is a fact. Lay a pat of oleo and a pat Of
butter side by side, and in the morning
the butter will be gone, but the oleo viii
remain untouched.
"Oh, yes, some animals are incredibly
nice about their food. The otter, when
living wild, will only eat one piece, one
mouthful, out OF each fish he catches. lie
will land a beautiful trout, but only one
bite of it, from the back just behind the
neck, is good enough for him. The rest
he losses aside. This epicure often Kills
Il dozen fine trout, to make one meal.
"Chimpanzees have delicate tastes. A
banana or n pineapple that to you seems
delicious, to a champagne, may be revolt
ing. His taste is keener. Grapes grown
in nothouses where sulphur fumes are
used as an insecticide taste all right to a
man, bat a c~himpanzee win have none OF
them.
THE ichneumon loves eggs. He can
tell a fresh from a stale one simply by
tapping the she'll"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
The "S*ouchton Bottle"
From the Boston Globe.

From the Boston Globe.
StouShton, not s~toatin, bottle is
proper. The adage, standing like a
stoughton bottle can be traced back
to early 18th century days. DR.. Slough
ton in those times got out a bitters
that became famous. The compound
was originally sold in ordinary straight
green ~(probably black) bottles. duly
labeled, and the Stoughton bitters bot
tie became a bar fixture, always stand
ing at the end of the bar. The con-
tents of the bottle seem to AVE been
gin-steeped tansy to give the unblcnd-
ed whisky OF those times a tang. The
adage rose from the noticeable position
of the bottle on the bar.
The Stoughton bottle, however, took
another form. DR.. Stoughton had a
quick d"iscernment OF the merits Of ad-
vertising. The presidential campaign
of 1910 was on with its log cabin and
hard cider slogan. The glassblowers
were rcquisitioned for imitation log
cabins, and the Stoughton bitters in its
log cabin home held its own for a score
of years afterward.
The ~Stoughton bottle nay be con-
sidered as a square,, corrugated glass
bottle in the shape OF q log cabin.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
An Averted Dancer.

A very beautiful actress, at a lunch
con at the Plaza, told a story about the
late Tony Pastor.
Before l went on the stage" she
said. l was a typewriter girl. My en-
ployer happened TO fail, and | adver-
tised for a new situation. One of those
Who answered my advertisement was
Mr.. Pastor. and | put his name on my
list. and in due course called or him.
Blu he told me ] was too late. He
had engaged a typewriter early that
morning. He was very sorry, he said,
I would have made a charming orna-
ment To his dull Office. He paid several
delightful compliments to my eyes, my
hair, my figure.
Il rose with a sigh.
We'll / said, I suppose I'll rave 10
close with Mr.. Koopon. then. I'm hor-
ribiy disappointed. I'd ever so much
rather work for you
""What. has old Koopon, the banker,
made you an Offer Mr. Pastor cried
Yes said ], and "A very generous
one, too; but l prefer this Office to his.
land in this office you shall stay,
said Mr.. Pastor, whimsically. Wen
make room for you somehow. Why.
my dear child. all my money is in Koo-
pon'S bank"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Asked About the Answer.

There has been recalled by the death
of James w. Paul, the Philadelphia
banker, this story, which he told long
ago:
Il vas going home one night late and
saw a man who had evidently looked
too deep into the cup making frantic
but unsuccessful efforts TO open a door
with d latchkey. l decided to help the
man, who was not Sc far gone as to
have forgotten his politeness, for be-
fore entering the house through the
door, which l succeeded in opening, he
asked my name and thanked me.
Il proceeded on my way, but had only
gone a few steps when l heard some
one call, Mr.. Paul. MI. PAUL. l turned
n there was my friend of the latch
key coming toward me with unsteady
gait. He put one hand aff~ectionately
on my shoulder, and, looking me in
the face, said: Say, did you ever get
to the ThesSalOnianSp o."
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
TORTURED SIX MONTHS

ny Terrible Itching Ecxema-Baby's
Suffering Was Tcrrible--Soon Ea-
fireIy Cured by Cuticura.
Eczema appeared on my sons face.
We went to a doctor, who treated him
for three months. Then he was so bad
that his face and head were nothing
hut one sore and his ears looked as II
they were going to fall off, so we tried
another doctor for four months, the
baby never getting any better. His
hand and legs had big sores on them
and the poor little fellow suffered so
terribly that he could not sleep. After
he had suffered six months we tried
a set of the Cuticura Remedies and
the first treatment let him sleep and
rest well In n week the sores were
gone and in two months he had a clear
face. Now he Is two years and has
never had eczema again. Mrs. Louis
Beck, r. r. ID. 3, San Antonio, Tex.
April Is, 1907"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11

The increased use of whiskey for lame
back rheumatism is causing considera,
bic discussion among the medical fra
ternity. 1t is an almost infallible cure
when mixed with certain other ingre
dents and taken properly. The fol
lowing formula is effective: ITO one
half pint of good whiskey add n ounce
Of Toris Compound and one ounce
Syrup Sarsaparilla Compound. Take
In tablespoonful doses before each meal
and before retiring"
Toris compound is a product OF the
laboratories of the Globe Pharmaceuti-
cal Co, Chicago, but II as well as the
other ingredients can be had from any
good druggist.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Savina Waste.
From the Wall street Journa

From the Wall street Journal.
Allowing nothing to go TO waste that
can be turned INTO money" is the spirit OF
the commercialism that now rules indus
trial America. 1t is the inspiration that
is stimulating scientific research, mechan.
ical invention and m%oney-hungry human
endeavor In every field. We market ev-
cry part of the hog except the sQueal,'
said the late p. ID. Armour to a visitor he
was showing about his pork packing es-
adjustment, and that, be 1t noted, was
before the day OF the photograph. Mr.
Armour was an early starter.
A distinct impetus was given the utiliza-
ton of material long allowed to go to
waste, by enforcement OF laws for the pro
lection of communities against nuisances.
1t was the force of public opinion that first
compelled the pork packers to invent pro-
cesses for the conversion Of the intolerable
refuse of their great abattoirs into fer
~tilizers and the NAM other b~y-products
now yielding fat profits, and 10 create a
market for them.
The same is true OF the great oil re-
fneries OF the Standard and other com
panies in the petroleum industries. by.
products, numbering several hundred In
all. are the largest profit-makers OF The
Standard. The premier refining company
of the world owes a very considerable per
centage OF its enormous wealth 10 the re-
fusal of the keen smelling public TO dwell
without protest in the noxious atmosphere
of the old-time refinery.
Having discovered the none there Is III
by-products the genius and capital OF man
has been for years and is still enlisted In
a struggle 10 extract the ultimate dollar
from every detailed resource of the an
imal, vegetable and mineral kingdoms
from air, water, substance. There Is
seemingly no limit to the development OF
the idea.
That is one OF the features in which
America leads.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Standards in Ianan.

From the island empire comes these
examples OF English az h is Jap
anesed," says the Detroit News.
Tailor, native country; draper. mil.
liner and ladies' outftter: the ribbons
the laces. the wells. the feelings"
Hand painted post cards.
Extract OF fowl kept"
photographer executed"
Head hair cutter"
Writing for another done here"
Specialist for the disease OF chill.
dren."
Best pertaining water. anti-fea
dealer Of"
"Notiss-Our tooth is q very i'm.
portant organ for business life ant
countenance as you know: therefore
when IL is attacked by disease. or in.
jury, artificial tooth is very useful.
am engaged in the dentistry and | viii
make for your purpose"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Genuine cannibaI Captured.


James H.. Birch has organized In
New York a new club, the Circumnav-
igators. No n who has not made @
complete circuit OF the world is eligible
for membership
Mr.. Birch. a great traveller, was talk
ing about travel in Burlington. The
c~annibalism that once prevailed
amongst the South Sea islanders sug-
gested a cannibal story TO him. and he
said:
"A man once went to the circus
Near the main entrance to the circus
there vas a sideshow, and a vast and
brilliant oil painting portrayed In al
its horrors a cannibal feast-corpses
cooking over fires. nude natives
squatted in a circle, holding to their
mouths grilled forearms, hands and
such like delicacies. A genuine can
nibal, the poster said, was to be seen
within.
Paying a dime, the man entered
The c%annibal, very lightly clad, sal
with crossed legs on a divan, languidly
toying with a spear. His teeth were
filed.
1.-THE visitor was a man OF markedly
religious temperament, and he gaZed al
the cannibal with horror.
lis this really a cannibal?' he
asked the Snowman.
You bet he is the Snowman an.
swered. DO you know how he was
captured? That great living curiosity
was captured. sir, in the act OF boiling
an aged Baptist minister owe a slow
fire
Then convert him, the visitor cried
oh, my friend. why don't you CONVEX
him"
THE Snowman made q gesture OF dis
gust.
Convert him. he said. DO you
think the public would pay a dime q
head TO see a Christian"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
ANTS ARE GOOD FIGHTERS.
There Is a Perpetual Feud Between
Different Species.

"On the morning Of August H." says a
writer in Suburban Life. II gathered a
few black ants and a number OF their
small. brown. egg shaped cocoons from
an ant hill in my yard and placed them
In a shallow glass box. an artificial nest,
where / watched their behavior.
Not long after this l discovered q
winged black queen promenading under
the apple tree-very likely a blood sister
of the others for when / placed her with
them she was not attacked, as was a
large ant with a red thorax that later /
introduced among them.
Strange how ants recognize both
friends and enemies through the sense
of smell rather than by the sense of sight.
No sooner do two ants meet than they
cross noses. SO to speak, in order to as
certain who is who. IL the insects find
that they belong to different communities
war is at once declared.
This was the case when the ant with
the red thorax was confined with the
black ants. How vicious both species
were, how they snapped at and bit each
other. One black ant succeeded In grab
bing an antenua Tor feeler) of her antag-
onist. TO which she held as the big red ant
dragged her from place to place.
Another black smelled her opportunity
and caught the hind leg OF the enemy,
III WAS tluS SlGalil iBaithiAaPRNh IA htt
movements. Still, she succeeded In kill
ing both black ants, although she could
not free herself from their death grip
until / came TO her assistance.
THE queen had remained inactive dur
ing the conflict and had taken no part in
cleaning up the nest; when all was again
in order a worker ant approached her
and after a short antenna conversation
began to tug at her wings. Apparently
this was to give the royal sister to under
stand that she must now discard them
and assume the responsibilities OF egg
laying. the work for which she had been
most carefully reared.
1.-The young queen was not inclined to
give up her gauzy appendages, however,
so presently the worker resumed her ef-
forts to loosen them. but with no show OF
animosity. Failing TO accomplish her pur-
pose, she next caught the queen by her
antennae and led her gently about the
nest and then held her in a corner for al
least twenty minutes.
During this time the other ants came
and touched her ca~ressingly with their
a~ntennae, and one went SO far as TO offer
her food from its mouth, 1t was a clear
case of coaxing. They wanted this queen
mother to deposit eggs and found a new
colony. / do not know what arguments
finally overcame the queens reluctance
to give up her freedom. The next day
saw that she had yielded to the entreat.
les OF her sisters. She was wingiess ant
depositing very minute eggs.
THE black ants la what appear to bt
good natured wrestling matches amonl
themselves They are constantly on the
move doing something, carrying the un
wieldly cocoons from one place TO an
other. regurgitating for a companion OF
making elaborate toilets"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Too Previous.

"A Richmond woman has in her en-
gdoy a little darkey, Milf Cole. One
day Milf became confidential and told
his mistress he vas 'goin' to the elm
terry next Sunday
But Milf, that's a long walk. You
know It's more than five miles!"
"'Oh, missus. / amt goin' to walk.
Use goin' to ride
"All day Saturday Milf could talk of
nothing but the approaching affair.
Sunday his mistress excused him and
she expected that on Monday she would
be RECALLED with a full account Of the
funeral. But Milf turned up with q
most melancholy ace. In answer To her
inquiry he said:
81 didn't go, missus. He amt dead
yit.'"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Why Willie Fell.

Before Willie started for Mrs. Smiths
house. where he was invited { dinner
his mother gave him some final advice;
Above all things cautioned his
mother, do not drink tea from your
saucer"
Willie promised. When he got bach
home his mother inquired how he haC
enjoyed himself. Willie said he hat
enjoyed himself immensely.
II hope you did everything the wa.
/ told you to-" said his mother.
"Yes'm, / did" answered Willie
somewhat hesitatingly.
And you did not drink your tea from
your saucer?"
Yes, mamma, I did" replied Willie
but Mrs. Smith drank her tea from
her saucer first"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
AEID insist ON HAVING
G:E Dr.. Martcl'S Preparation
The STANDARD Remedy. tt Druggists)
send for beck Relief for We1en"
FRENCH DRUG CO., so W. 82d S., N. Y. City
i: Il. =: s.; g; 9:
euce. Refer 10
any bauk 10 Sioux City. a. G. 6AR0tmER r,
Patent Attorney. <th and Pierce. S.sux City, u.
L Puzzled Him.

From the Philadelphia Inquirer.
The proprietor OF q lanyard was anx-
ious To fix a suitable sign to his prem
lses. Finally "A happy thought struck
him.
He bored a hole through tha doorpost
and stuck a calf's tail into il, with the
tufted end outside.
After a while he saw a solemn faced
mar standing near the door, looking III
the sign. The tanner watched him "a
minute, and then stepped out and adj
dressed him.
Good morning. sir" he said.
Good morning said the other, with
out taking his Eyes off the sign.
DO you want to buy leather" asked
the amer.
No
Perhaps you've got some hides TO
sell?"
No"
Are you a farmer1"
NO"
What are you, them
Il am a philosopher. I've been
standing here for nearly an hour, trying
to find out how that calf got through
that hole"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
U AMI EFFECT.

Good Digestion Follows Right Food
Indigestion and the attendant dis
comforts of mind and body are certain
to follow continued use OF improper
food.
Those who are still young and robust
are likely to overlook the fact that. as
dropping water will wear a stone away
at last, so will the use Of heavy, greasy,
rich food, finally cause loss of appetite
and indigestion.
enough to study themselves and note
the principle az Cause and Effect In
their daily food. A y. Y. young woman
writes her experience thus:
Some time ago | had a lot OF trou-
bic from indigestion, caused by too rich
food. | got so ! was unable to digest
scarcely anything, and medicines seem
ed useless.
"A friend advised me TO try Grape
Nuts food, praising 1t highly, and as a
last resort, | tried ii. / am thankful
to say that Grape-Nuts not only reliev-
ed me of my trouble. but built me up
and strengthened my digestive organs
so that | can now eat anything de-
sire. But l stick to Grape-Nuts."
There's a Reason"
Name given by Postum Co.. Battle
Greek. Mich. Read The Road to Well
ville," IN pkgs.
Ever read the above letter? A
new n appears from time to time.
They are genuine, true, and full
Of human interest.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11

We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward for
any case OF Catarrh that cannot be cured by
Halls Catarrh Cure.
+. j. CHENEY & CO, Toledo, O.
We, the undersigned, have known +. ].
Cheney for the last Is years, and believe
him perfectly honorable in all business trans
actions. and financially able to carry out any
obligations made by his firm.
WALDING, KINNAN & MARVIN,
Wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O.
Halls Catarrh Cure is taken internally,
acting directly upon the blood and mucous
surfaces OF the system. Testimonials sent
Tree. Price, 75c. per bottle. Sold by all
Druggists. -.
Take Halls Family pills for constipation.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
WE SELL GUNS AND TRAPS CHEAP
q buy Furs & Hides. Write for catalog 105
N. w. Hide & Fur Co., Minneapolis, MINI.
Not Improbable.

A well known scientist was telling &
young woman about a series Of ex-
periments he had been recently max
ing with the microphone. The micro
phone" he explained, ''magnihes
sounds to the ear as the microscope
magnifes objects to the ye. The foot
falls OF a centipede heard through the
microphone resemble a tattoo on a ket-
tledrum. The dropping of a pin rs like
the report Of a cannon"
That IS interesting and very odd. 3"
said the girl.
This afternoon" resumed the ecieD-
list Il caught a fly and studied it's
note, which resembles the neighing OF
a horse"
Perhaps" said the girl, lit was a
horsefiy."
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
He Had IL.

David Warfield, the great actor, was
describing his European trip.
1.-The best thing / saw was the Milan
cathedral" he said. "The worst was
the English barber.
The English barber uses a dull
razor. He fathers your nostrils and
your lips. He brushes your hair with
a revolving brush hat runs by ma
chinery.
ri never forget my first experience
of a London barber shop. 1t was a
dim, stuffy room. | sat in a straight
backed chair. The barber, though his
razor was duh, cut zoe three times.
WIN you have a close shave, sir?'
he asked. after going owe my face
once.
II wiped a few rudy drops from my
chin.
IF l get out OF this chair alive !
said severely. i shall certainly con-
slider IL such"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11

THAT woman next door is really
dreadful, John" said a young married
woman TO her husband. She does
nothing but talk the whole day long.
She cannot get any work done, Pm
sure"
oh" remarked the husband, Il
thought h was a ChatterbOX. And to
whom does she TALK
Why, my dear, to me, of course"
was the reply. "She talks to me over
the back fence"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Not Open to Everybody.

"A most peculiar effect was produced
by an announcement In the ADVERTISE
ments of n county fair to be held In
my state says Congressman Champ
Clark. Among other things, the an
nouncement said that attractive fea-
lures OF this great air viii be highly
amusing donkey races and pig races
Then, to the amagement of the judi
cious, this note was added: 'Competi-
ton in these two contests will be open
to citizens OF the county onlyl'"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Reassurinu Him.

On a certain occasion a speaker was
annoyed by the loud and frequent in
terruptiOns of an opposition voter, who
seemed bent on making trouble.
My friend said the speaker, de
termining to suppress the disturbeT,
haven't you heard the story Of how
81 braying ass put to flight the entire
Syrian army"
Don't you be afraid OF this audi
encei" shouted back the disturber Of
the meeting. There amt no danger
of it's stampeding. You've tested It,"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11

Skeleton. My DaCk
was 80 bad ! could
hardly walk and the
kidney secretions
much d~isordered. A
week after | began
using Doan's Kidney
pills | could walk
without a cane, and
AS | continued my
health gradually re-
turned. | was so
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Out Of Order.

From the Boston Transcript. sa
How was the weather in New York,
the day o came through, Uncle
Hiram" Z
$50 burned thick an foggy YOU,
couldn't see a thing. I reckon them
thar skyscrapers / hearn tell about,
van Workin',"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Strenuous Signs.

Eleanor-Do you remember when yots
passed us I'm the automobilef Well. two
minutes after that Fred proposed.
Evelyn-Yes. 1 heard the machine going
''chug-chug."
Eleanor-The machine! Gracioust That
was Fred signing.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11

grateful | made n public statement OF
my case, and now seven years have
passed, / am still perfectly we'll"
Sold by all dealers. SOC a box.
Foster Milburn Co. Buffalo. \. Y.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Safest Way.

Higgs-I never want to see him again.
Diggs-That's easy done. Lend him a
five spot
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11

PILES CURED IN q TO IA DAYS
PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed TO cure any
ease OF Itching, Blind, Bleeding or Protrud
ing Piles In q to IA days or money refunded
hna
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Faiiibility.

All men, simple truth to tell.
Make mistakes through bad advice.
You are doing very well
Not to mako the same one twice
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11

In his bold fight with ruling craft
He has not feared the thievine
crowd.
Under the bludgeonings of graft
his head Is bloody. blu unbowed.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
PROVED BY TIME.

No Fear of Any Further Trouble.
David Price, Corydon, Ia, says: II
was in the last stage Of kidney trouble
lame, weak, run down to a mere
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11

AYE rants tree yarts OF green rib
bon und Won dozen shimrocks."
But you're not Irish, are you?"
Nav: Aye bin Swede faller. but Ave
feel safer today to wear EN-"
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11

TO CURE A COA-; IN ONE DAY
Take LAXATIVE BRONO Quinine Tablets,
Druggists refund money II II fails TO cure.
E. ". GROVES signature Is on each box. 25c.
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Two Wives.

~srs. Wfnslow'S 5oCTITF syHUt TOR ChIIdr~A
eosthing; sotteGs the gums, reduCgs inTiamnAQon. ~
lays pain. cures 7riDA c0#~ ~, navy . D,ttlA
Kingsbury County independent. (DeSmet, Kingsbury County, S.D.) 1894-1929, 1908-12-11
Only One ..EaoMo QUININM.

Oniy ohe bkAohO &thNhSG
That Is LAXATIVE BROMO QUININE. Look
for the signature Of II. w. GROVE. Used the
World over to Cnre n Cold In One Day. 25c.