The Pacific commercial advertiser. [volume] (Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands) 1885-1921, 1908-12-08
JOKE BECOMES
VERY SERIOUS
Walking Race Proposed in lest
Being Taken Seriously
by WaIkists.

The Methuselah Marathon, started
half in jest, has assumed mighty pro.
portions, and bids fair to be one of the
greatest sporting events of the year
There Is more excitement refund town
about the walking match next Sunday
morning than there has been about any
sporting event in the last few months
In fact it looks as though this race
would become an annual fixture.
The way it started was thusly. Char
lie Lambert and Matt Heffern, two ro-
tund and genial sportsmen, both well
known in circles where people do things
In the open air, got to arguing about
their respective athletic abilities Put
ting the shot, tobogganing en- the Ores
IA run, point-to point steeplechases and
other events of the kind were all talk
ed over, and each claimed to have bet
ter record in his youth than the other
Then the genial tFoublemaker butted
in and said something about getting
down to date and talking about some
thing they could do here and now.
What about waIking?' he whispered,
and then the adipose tissue was in the
gas burner. 1t got them started, and
it was not long before they had both
offered to bet anything from pair
of Christmas socks to a turkey dinner
that each could beat the other.
Ayres, he of the calorifed atmos-
'phere and Mauna Kea tOpknot, fancies
himself as a waukenphast, and happen
ed round just when the pilikia was at
it's piliest. He insisted on being allow
ed to enter, and Bill Mccormack, whose
daily occupation keeps him reduced to
fit thinness, also stated that he would
walk.
Then came the question of course.
The open road from King street and
was suggested and Immediately settled
on as the best possible. The distance
is one mile and fve-eighths, and is long
enough to try wind and condition and
short enough to insure good fast pace
all the way.
That was last week, and the matter
was looked on as a joke until the con-
testants began TO train for the event
Charlie Lambert astonished his family
by rising two hours earlier than usual,
and, arrayed in bright green sweater
and trousers of ancient vintage, rolled
nearly up to his knees, plodded forth
into the misty morn with his elbows at
his sides and a stern look of determi-
nation on his face.
When he returned to the bosom of
his startled family he rushed for the
bathroom and yelled through the door
to fry ten extra pieces of bacon for
breakfast. Then was heard a terrible
groaning, followed by loud splashings
and intermittent grunts. Charlie had
lowed this with bath.
He emerged rosy and smiling as a
big cherub, and explained that he was
in training for a walking race. Reliev
ed to find that no mental alteration had
caused his sudden activity, his family
babe him goOdby and then proceeded
TO ring up the grocer and butcher for
ten tons of extra supplies
But Charlie was not the only one.
Matt Heffern had actually walked two
blocks downtown instead of waiting for
a street car, and Ayres had instituted a
series of morning stunts at one of the |
boat clubs. People who had laughed at |
first began to take the thing seriously, |
and now there is a bunch of them that
want to come in.
This being the ease. it has been de- |
eided to make it an open event, free to |
all corners, and to have prizes, which /
will be donated by prominent business
men who are interested in sporting !
event. Al Thurlow has already prom /
sed fat Christmas turkey for the |
winner, and Bill Bergin says he viii |
:ome through with a box Of the best /
Flor di BuIbuls.
The race will start at eleven clock |
lext Sunday morning at the junction Of /
King street and Kalakaua avenue. Jack t
5cuIly viii act as umpire on the road
md Bill Bergin as judge at the finish.
There viii be no entrance fee of any
lInd, and all that is required of con
estants is to walk fairly "beel-and-
oe. y The umpire viii give three
warnings, but at the fourth offense the
ontestant viii be summarily ruled out
There VIII be an auto for the press
nd the judge and probably one TO car
7 the contestants from the Waikiki Inn
here they can change in the bathhouse
0 the starting point