Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-12-04

Daily News.
would you give up your seat to a
woman In a carp How do | know?
Never had seat yet myself" ."-Phila-
delphia Ledger.
Maud-But do you believe in vacci-
nation? Bessie-Rather. 1t kept my
sister from playing the piano for near
ly week.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
What do you want with this auto
mobile catalogue?" 81 propose to write
some dialogue for it, and then it will
be motor novel. Washington Her
aid.
Marks-Say, old man, did l ever tell
you about the awful fright got on my
wedding-day Parks-S-s-h-h! No
man should speak that way about your
wife Glover.
Dowager-So you are commencing
practice here. You're rather young,
aren't you? Young Medico-Oh-er-
well-I only expect to start on chill
VI Sii JOu hhOW.-I ullCu.
Restaurant Keeper-What, you can't
pay your check? Out you go then.
Guest at the Next Table-Here, land
lord, while you are about it, throw me
out, too.-Fliegende Blaetter.
"Are you related to the bride or
groom elect?" asked the busy usher.
NO. "Then what interest have you
In the ceremony" I'm the defeated
candidate. te."-Christian Register
Il trust we shall make you feel quite
at home,' remarked the hotel proprie-
tor Don't you try it," expostulated
the married man. I'm away for a
good time."-Philadelphia Record.
Sometimes" said the press humor-
LIST, Il think my jokes are rotten. l
s'pose that's my modesty." NO" ex-
planned friend, that's your common
sense."-Louisville Courier-Journal.
"Yes,' remarked Farmer Hodge, my
boy Joe gets a good deal O. fun out Of
motor cars But he doesn't own
machine "Of course not. He's one
o. the constables. ."-Philadelphia In
quirer.
what sort Of table do they set at
your clearinghouse" asked the young
man who was contemplating a change.
"A table of waits and measures" re-
piled his friend. "The first long and
the latter short" Tit Bits.
when I was your age" said the
stern parent, 81 was accommodating
money Of my own" "Yes," answered
the graceless youth. "but don't you
think the public was easier then than
it is now?'-Washington Star.
"How fast do you usually travely"
II don't pay much attention to that"
answered the motorist. 81 get most Of
my excitement in watching the rapidity
with which pedestrians move out of
my way."-Washington Star.
Tom-Of course the bride looks love
ly, as brides always do Nell-Yes, but
the bridegroom doesn't look altogether
fit; seems rather run down. Tom
Run down? Oh, yes, caught after a
long chase.-Philadelphia Press.
Officer Ito new recruit doing sentry
go' for the first time) Now, mind
you, let no one go by without challeng-
ing them. Recruit-That's all right,
guvnor. Don't you worry. The slight
est noise wakes me up!-Punch.
SIS your husband up yet?' asked the
early morning caller. 81 guess he is
replied the stern-looking woman. I'D
like to say a few words to him." "I'd
like to say more than a few. He hasn't
come home ."-Philadelphia Press.
The Powder Manufacturer-Fanc
old Bill, of all people, going into the
gunpowder shed with a lighted candle
should have thought that would be
the last thing he'd do. The Workman
Which, properly speakin', 1t were
sir.-The Sketch.
Hubbie-My dear, If I cannot leave
the Office in time for dinner tonight
will send you p. notesby messenger
Wifie-You need not go to that ex
pense, George, for | have already
found the note In your coat pocket
Philadelphia Inquirer.
Garge-Ef t. mlssus doan' get better
by next Tewsday fortnight I'll sen fel
t doctor Farmer-Why not before
Cargo? Garge-Wull, it'll be fowrt!
years mex Tewsday fortnight since W.
ad t. doctor, an I'd like t make i
even fowrty.-The Taller.
Mrs. Shopper (after inspecting ev
erything in the store)-I don't see any
thing here that suits me. suppose
may as well go down to Stacy's ant
see what they have. They usually hav,
a good assortment Salesman-Here'
a card of one Of their statesmen; won