The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-04-07
THE EVENING STORY
Bred In the Bone.
(By James Norton.)

y
Ezra Billings and Martha Scott
had married rather late in life. Each
was known to have Opinions" but
it was generally agreed that they
would live happily. So they did, but
their ways were not exactly under
stood by their friends. Before they
had been married two weeks Martina
called Ezra the biggest fool in Sagi-
nav county, and Ezra called her an
old cat. Neither was the least bit an
cry. It was just their way, and they
understood each other.
They did not dissemble and play
the hypocrite when third party was
present. Ezra had courted Martha
for four years before marrying her
ever loved, but this did not stand In
the way of his saying to her in the
presence OF old Aunt Jackson: Martina
| If we had a chicken on the farm with
less brains that you've got I'd wiring
! it's neck"
And then Martha felt in duty bound
to good naturally reply: Ezra BIZ
| lings, IL I didn't lead you around by
string. you'd be sitting down on the
hot stove half the time"
In time 1t got to be known that the
couple wrangled like a dog and cat,
and fifty families became more or less
| interested In time, also. they passed
to stronger terms and epithets. Be-
| tween themselves they didn't mean
anything by it. It was just a little
harmless way Of his when Ezra said
| to Martha in front of tin peddler:
| Say woman, don't smile at me and
ask my opinion about d1shpans. III l
hadn't been watching you like hawk
this morning, you'd have put paris
green in my coffee"
"That amt the way to kill OF born
FOOLS" replied Martha. you've got
to hit 'em with an axe as they are
lying asleep in bed"
| OF course the peddler passed 1t
along, and of course the lightning
rod and the windmill man passed
along what they heard, and at last
the neighbors woke up each MORN
| ing expecting to find that foul murder
had been done during the night.
Mr.. and Mrs. Billings were mem
| bers of one of the churches down In
the village, and their pastor was final
| ly appealed to. Being conservative
as well as a good man, he thought
the matter over for time and then
preached a sermon to fit the subject.
It was hit at both, and they were
there to hear, and yet when they left
| the church Ezra was heard to say:
| Martha, if the preacher had wal
Hoped me as he did you To keep my
head shut for the next fourteen
years."
"Wallop mel" she replied. EZRA
Billings, every single word OF that
sermon was meant for you, and II
you keep on wrangling with me, the
people will turn out and give you
| coat of tar and feathers"
Then the preacher decided that 1t
| was his duty to call at the farmhouse
and make a more direct appeal.
Martha was glad to see him. She
said she was glad She said she was
in need of advice and was just think
ing of coming to see him. She said
it was about that fool husband OF
hers.
He had taken it into his head that
body else knew better, and had
threatened to brain her with the
crowbar if she didn't believe as he
did. He wouldn't do it, of course
Ezra was one of the best men In the
world, whether it was round or fat
and he couldn't be brought to kill a
fly; but she thought he ought to be
lwrestled with for talking that way.
"But, Sister Billings, you have been
heard to threaten to poison your
husband" protested the GOOD man.
"Oh, but that's just our way.
"And to pour hot lead in his ear as
he slept"
such a thing. If he was afraid of that
he wouldn't sleep and snore the way
he does"
you have threatened to throw him
over the curb into the WELL"
"But II I did he would climb right
out and kiss me-"
"You have said that you wished a
tree would fall on him and that he
would be brought home dead"
Eyes, but I gigg1ed when said 1T,
and when I giggle don't mean what
1 say. AS I said, should like your
advice. Do you think the flies ought
to have the same chance to live as
the cows?"
srhat is a rather queer question,
Sister Billings"
Eyes, but that drafted fool Of a 11us-
band of mine, who ought to have
been in an idiot asylum years ago, has
got the idea in his noodle-pate that
| they have, and he's gone and tied up
t all the cows tails so they can no
I longer switch"
HE has a kind heart"
} IT was telling the lop-shouldered
slab-sided nincompoop only an hour
, ago to unite them tails. or I'd break
his neck with the first fence rail
could get my hands on
"You-you talked that way to your
husbandI'
, 81 had to. No one knows Ezra as ]
. do. You've got to talk right out at him
4 doesn't mind it. however. Ezra never
! loved human being until came into
3 his life, and If I should die he'd wilt
e away like a weed"
] The good man sighed heavily and
{ went down to the cornf1eld to have q
e little talk with Ezra. He was greeted
with the greatest pleasure, but as soon
as they had shaken hands the farmer
began:
did Martha tell you that I threat
ened to choke her to death last night p
IT hope you didn't make use Of any
such language"
But did, though Of course it was
all in fun. What do you think that
: empty-headed idiot did yesterday af-
!, ternoon? Because a bee stung her she
!. !. went at it and kicked over q whole
: hive, and the old horse was stung in