The Salt Lake herald. [volume] (Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1870-1909, 1908-12-13
Shorty Takes the High Dive


more besides. Thanks! The same to
Won and many of 'em. Wel' you know
49, mean. You see, it all comes
.'ra1,Dd go sudden, and I'm so surprised
- rovself for dom what / did, that
1T. know whether I'm Shorty NC
- or nv first cousin by marriage.
D,,t il was nv star stunt, en-? Who'd
tbought [ had the nerve? It's this
way: 1,,.o ,,a,,,
7 ,nIIed in on Sir BERTHE, and tryin' to
figure lust where / stands, 1 gers SO
tVfsted I'D in my mind that my mead
feels ike a grape arbor. and [ chucks
tbe whole business. shorty, says
"a myself, you'd better swim out; the
waters wet" So with that L begins
turnin' my mighty intellect onto things !
that was regular and in my line
That done mean that 1 ties on the
boxin' gloves with a hard knot. Course,
the studio takes some time; but with
swiftly Joe so well trained in, and the
waitin' list CROWN longer every day.
that almost runs itself. There's out
side things I've been dippin' into that
don't. such as a couple Of fiat houses
I've got on the West Side Say, II
you let them agents run things tnelr
own way you'll find yourself in hole.
Then there was the ripe chances
was afraid of missin'. You see, knock
in around so much with the fat-wads,
l often sees a spot where rev dollars
can be planted right. Sometimes IT'S
a private bunch on the market. and
then again l get hep to slice of foot
front that's gOin' cheap. l do a lot of
dickerin' that way.
Well. I'd Just pushed through deal
that leaves me considerable on velvet,
and was feelin' kind of flush and sassy
when Mr.. ogden calls me- up and wants
TO know if can make use of a gilt
edged bargain.
"Oh, I don't know" says I. What's
il look like?"
IT'S the Toreador," says he.
Sounds good" says l. Does it come
high?"
Cost me forty thousand two years
ago." says he; but I'm turning it over
for twenty-five TO the first bidder"
Wen, say. when Old man Ogden sings
cold figures at you like that you can
gamble he's talking straight.
I'm it, then" says l. Fifteen down,
ten on mortgage"
That suits me- says he. I'll have
the papers made out today"
And say" says I, what is this Tor
eadOr, anyway; 2 race horse, or an ele-
vator apartment"
Would you guess it? He'd hung I'D
the receiver. That's what got for be-
in sporty. But l want goin' to renig.
! fills out my little blue check and
sends her in, and that night 1 goes
to bed without KNOWN what 1t is I've
passed up my coin for
1t must have been near noon the next
day. Tor I'd written a letter. and got
NV 7 -
come within two or three hundred of
what the bank folks make it. when
footman in white panties and a plum
colcred coat drifts through the studio
door
Is this Professor McCabe?" says he.
Yep" says 1.
There's lady below, sir, says he.
Can she come up"
1T amt regular" says l. 'but I s'pose
there's no dOdgin' her. Tell her to come
ahead"
Say, want just fixed up for re-
ceivin' carriage cOmp'ny. When l
writes and figures I gets more mussed
up than as if I'd been in a free for all
d shed my coat on one chair, my vest
on another. slipped down my suspend
ers, rumpled my hair and got ink on
me in seventeen places But 1 didn't
have sense enough to duck.
In minute or so there was a click
click on the stairs, l gets a whiff of
IIssOir Danube, and in comes a yelled
lady. She was a branded peach-from
the outside lines, anyway. She's wear |
In one of them hats that's a little big
ger round than an umbrella and not
quite so big as a summer house, and
them clothes of hers couldn't have left
Paris more'n a month before. If YOU
afarn1a
was the goods. all you had to do was
to squint at the big amethyst in the
handle Of the gold lorgnette she wears
around her neck. For a Felix-Tiffany
combination she was it-reg'lar walkin'
expense account.
SO you are Shorty McCabe, are your
says she, kind of sniffin'.
Sorry l don't suit" says 7; but
what then?"
is it true" says she. that you have
bought the Toreador?"
Who's been givin' you that?' says
l. prlckin' up my ears.
Mr.. Ogden says she.
Hes an authority" says I. land
dispute"
Then you have bought it?" says
she How exasperatingi ! was going
10 ask Mr.. Ogden TO let me have the
Ioreador for next week"
The whole of it," says I.
Why, Of course says she.
"Gee!" thinks 1: 1T can't be an apart
rnent house then. Maybe it's an oil
painun', or a parlor car"
But therei" she goes on. eI presume
you bought it only as a speculation.
now what is your price for next week A"
say for the love of Pete, I couldn't
StH what it was gave me a crouch.
Maybe it was only the offhand way
she threw II out, or the snippy chin
loss that goes with it: but I felt like
paper.
It's too bad" says I, but I'm usin'
me Ioreador next week myself"
foui' says she, and, through the
sauze curtain 1 could see her hump
her eyebrows.
That finished the job. Even if the
Ioreador turned out to be a new opera
mousse or tOurin' balloon. 1 was go
m to keep it busy for them seven
Why not me?" says I.
All alone?' says she.
Wen, I didn't know where it would
land me. but want goin' to have her
Tag me for a lonesome spender. Not
Huch! says I. II was just maxim up
my list. How do Won smell Mrs Tworr-