davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-01-09

From the Chicago News.
It is up to Goldheld, New, to hire an
other policeman.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-01-09
Magellan.
From the Ehicayv q

The worst straits to which those battle
ships are likely to be subjected are those
named in honor of the late Mr.. Magellan.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-01-09

A New Year resolution that has held
out this long may be regarded as
success.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-01-09
Might Get ON the Wrong Cart.

From Tue SaIt Lake IrIbunt.
Don't climb off for minute. because
water wagons and beer wagons sometimes
have trick of looking very much alike.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-01-09

Division of Labor.
In this or any other land
A curious fact you'll note;
A few men do the thinking, and
The others merely vote!
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-01-09

THE STAR has a regular and perma-
nsnt Family Circulation much more
than the combined circulation Of the
other-washington dailies. As a News
and Advertising Medium It has no
competitor.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02
.LAYHAWKER, JOTS

A teacher in Lenora, during the ex-
animation in physiology, asked what
was the effect of overeating. One boy
wrote: ''It makes you feel sleepy, and
lazy, and pussy and grouchy.'
Il never was so Inundated in my
life,'' the Vinland Vine quotes Mrs
Sincaller as saying to her husband the
other night. You know how much
have said to Susie about doing fool
ish things. The other day she went
down town and bought some eggs
Imagine my humiliation when 1 found
my own maiden name written on one
of them. 1 think the man who invented
cold storage ought to be hanged"
A constitutional amendment, plan
ned to increase the pay of the mem
bers of the legislature to $500 a sea-
son, was voted down at the recent
Kansas election.
Why" was asked of a successful
candidate the other day.
Because the candidates did not
say a thing about it in their cam
paigning,". he replied.
why didn't they?" e-
"Oh-oh,' he hesitated But I
might just as well be frank about it.
They were afraid to.'-Kansas City
Journal.
This has 'drifted in from Clay coun-
ty: Recently the teacher at Otter
school asked her class of little ones,
in whom she was trying to instill a
small knowledge of the history of this
country, who was the first president
of the United States?"
George Washington was the
prompt reply, in chorus.
"Was there ever campaign when
Washington ran for president, and
who ran against him % she asked.
For time all was silent, then one
little girl piped up: Didn't Bryan
run against Washtngton ?" ,...-...
The Coffeyville Journal ventures to
find fault with one of the hymns sung
at a revival in progress there. 1t runs
thus:
"a sunbeam, a sunbeam;
Jesus wants me for sunbeam,
A sunbeam, a sunbeam
I'll be a sunbeam for Him
The Journal says: with all due re-
spect for the cause of religion and for
those singing this song, it is surely not
out of place to ask what sense there
is in such a composition. Its mean
ing is as ridiculous as anything could
be-almost sacrilegious. It means no
more to say sunbeam than to make
it read moonbeam or starbeam or
rainbow. or anything else. that might
have fitted into the -songwriter'S
mind. With the hymn books crowded
full of good old songs that contain a
deep and sacred meaning in every line
and songs that every man, woman
and child in the country knows by
heart-it is hard to understand why a
revival chorus should put in his time
singing such senselesS verses as that
quoted above
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02
THE VIRGINIA DECISION.

Some newspapers seem to have
jumped at an erroneous conclusion
as to the effects of the recent decision
of the United States supreme court in
the matter of a two cents a mile pas
senger fare law in the state of Vir-
ginia. They are hailing it as de-
cision upholding the constitutionality
of this statute and If this was the
case it could be taken as a precedent
which would declare for the validity
of two cents a mile passenger laws in
the other states which have pro-
mulgated them.
But this is not the case, I'M
fortunately for those who believe in
the justice and equity of a two cents
a mile passenger rate, as a careful
analyzation of the decision of the
supreme court will reveal. 1t merely
holds that the decision of a federal
judge in this Virginia case which de-
clared the two cent law unconstitu-
tional was not proper one as the
matter had been improperly brought
before the federal courts. OF course,
the immediate effect of this decision
is to maintain the integrity of this
law in Virginia until it is successfully
attacked, if it is possible to be, in the
courts in proper fashion.
The facts in this case are as fol-
lows: The Virginia board of railroad
commissioners issued an order COM
polling the railroads to put in two
cent passenger fare. They were act
ing under the mandates of the new
state constitution in this regard and
this order of the board became the
law of the state in the premises. The
railroads at once attacked the order
in the federal courts and a federal
Judge, Judge Pritchard of the United
States circuit court for the eastern
district of Virginia, declared that this
order was unconstitutional on the
ground that the railroad commits
sion's duties were purely administra-
tive and non-judicial. 1t is this de-
cision that the supreme court has
overruled. It holds that the proceed
ing of the railroad commission was
judicial in character and that the rail-
roads erred in failing to exhaust their
rights in the proceeding in the state
courts before taking their case to the
federal court. But even the decision
in this phase is of the utmost i'm
portance. 1t determines that railroads
cannot seek to nullify an order of a
state board of railroad commissioners
by ignoring the state courts and TAX
ing it at once to federal courts. They
must carry the matter through the
state courts.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02

clearly define what are their educa-
tionaI needs. Ascertain for themselves
how. far these needs are being met by
their district school. Determine what
share of the work which remains to be
done can be handled by the community
itself, and what share must be as
sumed by all the people functioning as
the government.
I'VE urge, therefore, that the coun-
try people in every school district
throughout the United States come to-
gether in their school houses and hold
these community conferences Saturday
evening, December 5th, as suggested by
the president"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02
JOURNAL ENTRIES

When a chap can kiss either one of
a girls cheeks it's not hard for him to
choose between them,
X X x
Few men who are ever welded to
their work become divorced from 1t
through being discharged.
4 y
Many a fellow gets so ratified at the
crucial moment that the girl actually
shapes up the proposal.
4 X
A mans clever sayings and
scintillating wit is not apt to be appre-
ciated much by those who take the
same funny papers that he does.
\ X X
There is some small satisfaction to
a man these days in getting big bill
for his wife's hat because she is GER
tain to have purchased big hat.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02
QUAKER NEGOTIATIONS.

IFrom the Philadelphia Record
Always overdo things-Ceiling dec
orators.
It's a treat to listen to man VINO
asks you what you'll have.
Don't exagggerate your own faults-
Leave that to your friends
It's when a girl says yes thah
fellow takes her at her word.
The bill collector may not be a
busy-body, but ne generally nnds peo-
pie out.
Too much red paint at night Is apt
to make fellow blue the next morn
Ing.
The one thing a man can borrow
without bothering to pay back Is
trouble.
Even when a woman does all in her
mower to brighten the horne her huS-
band has to pay the gas bills
When a reIfow tells girl she ~
nice enough to eat It again proves that
fine easiest way to reach mans heart
Is through his stomach.
Hoax-'I suppose business Is i'm
nroying since election Joax-"Yes;
I am told that even the clockmakers
are puttfng on more hands"
Wigg-"After all Henpeckke has
conside rabIe power of diction." WagE
-"Yes, but 1t can't prevail against his
wife's power of contradiction"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02

walls in regard to the choice of Mr..
Root to succeed T. c. P1att as United
States senator Tim Woodruff, the
chairman OF the New York Republic
can state committee, wanted this job
himself. but he has finally succumb-
ed to the inevitable and declares that
Mr.. Root is the ideal and logical can
didate for the place. Maybe Tiny
Tim will get little Enthusiastically
or something of the sort for being a
good boy. In such a place he could
show of his pink, red, white and blue
vests to better advantage than he
could in the staid old United States
senate. Then again, he has money
enough to support such a job.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02
POINTED PARAGRAPHS

IFrom the Chicago News-1
Women are almost as absurd as
men are foolish.
Sometimes a woman is known by
the company she avoids.
Give some people their PICK ana
they'll pick flaws every time.
He who thinks only Of himself
hasn't any too much to think about.
Occasionally a woman is remem-
bered for the things she doesn't say
The fickleness of fortune is only
euualed by the faithfulness Of mis-
fortune.
where powder only covers up
freckles dynamite would probably re-
move them.
The more an egotist a man is the
more dificult it is for him to see his
faults.
All the worlds a stage upon which
most of US make show of ourselves
sooner or later.
You may have observed that the
man who boasts that he can drink or
let it alone usually drinks.
In accord with the eternal fitness
of things, people who keep harping on
disagreeable things should be strung
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02

peals. His whole attention was con-
centrated on keeping the thing within
the limits of the road
Beats Lochinvar!' he yelled
tub. e
Edmonia moaned. you are crawl"
she cried. Lets go home! oh. take
me home!" she commanded him.
Homer! Percivale ground the word
passionately between his teeth. You will
De lucky If you ever see home againl we
he felt something respond to his gropinE
n fingers; The machine was obeyfng his
Joy and a relief that rolled over him
IKE a wave made him shout aloud Ed
as the exuitation Of a captora and ra eoml
manded and implored by turn: but he
did not at once diminish his speed, He
knew now that Edmonia had not realized
MS impotence. He put the machine at a
mn ana pIunged down the other side. Ed
monia was clingtng to him with wild
He brought the car carefully to stand
Edmonia was sobbing into her handler
chief. He hoped he was accepting the
role of victorious knight modestly. but
''TedP' he cried. you've got to keep
Of knight. and don't know how 'i1i to
His unsupported confession was inter
rupted for the second time as she sud
denly to his establishment, smiled up at
IT never was driven like that in my
NE! she remarked with pride. But
Not until we're married." said Per-
civale firmly.
Edmonia refused to continue in the car.
however. as they walked on to the nearest
town. where the minister's fee was
the first of a series of more mundane
charges which punctuated their homeward
journey in the buggy
But in his new 10y. which was only
enhanced by pecuntary interludes with the
wrathful owners of slaughtered hens. the
fearful mistress of an injured dog, and
damages due to the recovery of errant
horses Percivale made 1t a triumphal
lourney.-lCopyriRhted 1905, by Associated
Literary PresS.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02
A SUGGESTION or WoRTH.

Supplementing the suggestion of
President Roosevelt that the country
people of the United States come to-
gether in their district school houses
on or before December 5th, to discuss
the matters under consideration by the
Commission on Country Life, which the
president appointed recently for the
purpose of investigating the conditions
under which farmers live so that these
may be bettered, comes statement
from the commission itself presenting
many good arguments as to why the
suggestion of the president should be
followed 1t is pointed out that the
members Of the commission are serving
without pay and are giving up three
or more months of their time and ef-
forts simply to act as medium
through which the farmers of the
United States may give expression to
the conditions and needs of country
life. AS is stated, this time is all too
short for the commissioners to visit all
sections of the country and inquire
infinitely into the conditions as they
exist everywhere So the cooperation
of the country people is needed by the
commission. 1T need not be pointed
out" says the commission, that If
there are problems for solution in the
country nobody should be more con-
cerned in taking them up than the
country people. and unless they do take
them up it is improbable that anyone
else can handle them to any effect.
so far in the commissions inquiry"
the statement goes on. 1.-The demand
most insistently- made is for extended
educational facilities fitting people to
live in the country We can think OF
NO better opening movement in the
campaign to better educational facili-
ties than these meetings of the country
people in the district school houses
which represent to them to very
large extent the only available agency
for a carefully prepared basic educa-
ton. In these meetings the country
people may determine exactly what are
their educational needs. They may
then inquire what their district school
is doing to meet these needs They
may then inquire to what extent they
themselves can improve the distric'
school. and to what extent they must
depend upon Governmental agencies TO
| help them out.
LAS we see it, the primary thing for
the country people to do is to clearly
define what are their educational needs
as they see them. This will give a
basis for definite work.
I'm most states of the Union the
patrons of the school districts have it
directly in their power to dictate what
their system Of education shall be. The
status of the average country school
proves conclusively that there is no
definite realization in the community OF
what the community needs are, nor of
the fact that it is the function Of the
school to meet these needs. 1t is as
though people should disregard the
postoff1ce and seek elsewhere for means
of postal communication.
1--WE repeat then, that the primary
thing for the country people to do 10 to
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02
GLOBE SIGHTS.
tFrom the Atchison Gle

From the Atchison Globe.1
An Atchison woman's hair looks so
messy that it is said she fixes it with
an egg-beater.
There are so many tiresome people
in the world. And I'm one of them"
-Parson Irvine.
What has become of the old fash
toned school in which the pupils tried
to whip the teacher?
When women hear of sick wo-
man, they say. "If it's heart disease,
she'll live to die of old age"
Women complain that they have not
equal rights with the men. But they
own one-haIf of the national bank
stock in this country.
After any individual passes the age
of 25, and has a photograph taken, it
is because he, or she wants, that
picture; there has been no outside
clamor.
When Father keeps scrapbook, the
Mothers that's different. Her scrap
book is about all her kin and her
children; nothing abalt herself.
Forty-five per cent of the stock of
American railways is owned by wom-
en-. Do the Muck Rakers realize that
they are ATTACKING WOMEN? BY
the way the Muck Rakers are becom-
ing ashamed of themselves, and the
Saturday Evening Post is making ex-
quisite fun of the Muck Raking crowd,
in a series of articles by Samuel E.
Blythe. And Blythe's articles are
much more sensible and entertaining
than were the MUCK Raking articles a
Revision. The Muck Raking was
carried too far, because of its transient
popularity, and people became dis
gusted with it.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02
Proper Diet for Soldiers.

The fact that opposite views re-
garding the feeding of the soldier are
entertained here and in England is
creating good deal of interest in
British and American army circles.
Here, it is said, the army cook book
is to be revised in the direction of
simplicity; in the British army a
greater diversity is thought to be de-
Sirable.
In this connection, the Medical
Record. commenting on a paper on
the subject read by Maj. Robert ].
Blackham recently before a meeting
Of the British Medical association,
says in part:
THAT the feeding of the soldier is
in general good and the life healthy is
demonstrated by the vast improve
ment that is nearly always effected in
physical condition of young soldiers.
This is especially noticeable. in Great
Britain, where the majority of the
recruits for the army are drawn from
low class of society, many of
whom when enlisted are understood
and emaciated, not a few showing
signs of degeneracy. Among such as
these the beneficial influence. of a
nourishing diet is most striking In
the course of a year the thin, weedy,
pale town youth will often have de-
Veloped into sturdy muscular, and
Well-n ouriShed soldier. But although
the soldiers diet in the American and
British armies is generous and
satisfactory, some among the
authorities are constantly, seeking to
change it.
Referring to the results of
Chittenden, Maj Biackham said he
could not think it would be irnpos-
sible to induce groups of soldiers in
different parts of the empire to adopt
modified dietary under the
supervision of officers of the corps,
and the results of such Investigations
might go far to settle some very i'm
portant questions.
''Some feeding experiments have
been undertaken in the American
army, but not upon a sufficiently wide
scale to make the results definitely
convincing and really valuable 1t
cannot be denied, however, that the
British army and in a lesser degree
the American army lend themselves
favorably to this kind of research.
Both are situated in widely diverse
climates and the men in most re-
spects are eminently fitted to be the
objects of such Investigations.
"Alluding to the feeding of the
British soldiers in barracks Mai.
Blackham noted that reforms had
been introduced, excellent in so far as
the diet was varied, but to be de-
precated in that it was too liberal,
while if they accepted the results of
Chittenden it was excessive, In
European armies generally, including
the British army, there was a too
great sameness of diet."-New York
Times.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02
TRIOLETS.

They saw that figures will not lie
No doubt-if they're correctly added
And still 1 can't imagine why
They say that figures will not lie.
For tailor-madeS do Stultify
When they're artistically padded.
They say that figures do not lie.
No doubt-when they're correctly added
If madam owns to %
You'll say that she does not appear it.
But on her age you get a line
If madam owns to %,
don't say it is any sign
She's 40-but she's mighty near It,
If madam owns to o.
You'n say that she does not appear it,
She says her feet aren't cramped in IS
That figure is a bit mendacious.
Remark upon her tiny snoes
She saws her feet aren't cramped in Is
That's not the number she will choose
She SAYS her feet aren't cramped in Is,
That figure is bit mendacious
s--'- Chicago News
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02

1.-THE things President Roosevelt has
IN mind for the improvement of the
conditions of labor throughout the
country. and will probably recommend
to congress, cover everything We de-
sire. The presidents ideas are entire
ly satisfactory to labor representatives,
generally" This is a statement from
one of the labor leaders who was the
presidents guest at the recent dinner
he gave in their honor. This Is fine,
but then it must be remembered that
Sam Gompers and some other more or
less distinguished lights in the labor
world were not of the dinner company
The chances are that anything that Mr.
Roosevelt might do for labor now would
not be satisfactory in any way to Mr.
Gompers. Neither of the gentlemen
seem to have very high ideas of the
abilities of the other.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02

It is the consensus of opinion in the
foreign press and in foreign diploma
tic circles that the new Japanese
American agreement for the main
tenance of the integrity of China and
the status quo in the Pacific is an IL
Illuminating achievement in statesman
ship of both the United States and
Japan. And while it is hardly pertin-
emit, 1t would now be interesting for
Captain Richmond Pearson Hobson
to express another opinion on the
possibility of a war between this
country and Japan. That is the only
subject he has ever talked about
since he left the navy and entered
public life. 1t is to be hoped that his
constant attention to it has not unfit
ted him to take up some new prop
uganda.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02

That more time should be given to
hearings on the tariff there can be no
doubt and Serene E. Payne, the chair
man of the ways and means committee
OF the house of representatives, and the
other stand-pat members of the COM
mittee will not add anything to such
strength as they may now have with
their constituencies and the people of
the country. generally, If they are ar
hitrary in shutting off these hearings
IN few days. Tariff revision is a pref
ty big subject and if there is to be an
honest one everyone who has anything
to present to this committee in the way
of facts and figures and arguments
should have an. opportunity of doing so.
OF course. if the tariff revision is to. be
another joke at the expense of the peo-
pie no further hearings are necessary
and those which have been held are of
little worth.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-02
HUNOR OF THE Day

ntO Wf tEEe d9nt Try gt ss5 PgsE
kerosene. ';-Washinston Star wv -'''''
Towne-welI. well. the idea of his mar
Tying Miss Goldey. Why he's a dyspeptic:
She's got plenty of money, and So Towne
That's just it. She'll never agree with
him; she's too rich.-The Catholic Stand
'Ahi Mrs. Newcomb." said the uppish
have prevented me from Calling upon 3u You
as should. However, will surely re-
doesn't matter much replied Mrs. New
comb promptly. but do wish you'd re-
time to time."-The Catholic Standard and
Times.
What do they do at the Chaucer club?''
oh. the members talk about each other"
AND ae! what v.hs, if All the members are pres
Chaucer. '-WashinEton Herald.
dress He.Huh Then Should idy th i1o you i
would wear more of it-Philadelphia
Press
Physician tanswering telephone at ? a;
Think "a be GAZING you up at this n1 1
earthly hour If was well?-Boston
Transcript.
Doctor-You should go to Europe and
see how people eat over there. Dypeptic-
do intend to go. but not until have
saved enough to be able to Join them.-St.
Louis Post-Dispatch.
'.Td rather be good than great" Then
you won't be annoyed by any serious
amount of petftion."-Cleveland Pain
Dealer.
Patience--That Miss BELOW ig going t1
sing Patience-Oh. is she? What SHAH
we talk about?-The Tattler.
Not Quite Sure: "Mr. Hankinson," said
the mother of the young woman to the
youth whom she suspected Of an ambition
to become a member of the family, have
you ever been baptized?' Once, think,
he answered hesitatingly.-Chicago TIM
une-
you'll have to work hard to win old
Millions daughter" III have to work a.
good deal harder if don't win her. -
Brooklyn Life.
Eve was thinking of the snake episode,
Adam" she said at last. with an air OF
Conviction, 1T am beginning to believe that
snake worked off lemon on US. This
Is Thought to have been the first lesson IN
pomology.-Ph Ledger
''wunst got a dollar word. evan
''F,acf For talking back to judge. -
Huntsville Courier-Jo Journal.