The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-08-06
The Three Professors.

PROFESSOR Henry Thorn, botanlst, Yale
college, and ten days later by the com.
ing Of another professor, who regis
tered himself at the same hotel as
Professor Charles witbeck, Crimlnol
ogist, Harvard College" For an hour
or two his name on the register ex.
| cited some little comment That was
because those who read It didn't know
whether his profession related to claim
jumping or railroad engineering. The
landlord finally explained that Grim.
inologist was a fellow who had had 10
| jump out OF Texas for shooting a man
F, and had arrived In Dakoth 10 open a
faro game and make a new start In
life. That satisfied public curiosity
and accounted for the professor stroll.
Ing around the town day and night
He also took in III the fine points and
particulars.
The two professors under one roof
fought shy of each other for couple
OF days. Professors have their jeal.
ousles rs well as dime museum freaks.
though greater efforts are made to con
! ceal them. At length, however. they
introduced themselves and shook
hands and began TO respect each other.
Some professors OF botany can't be led
to admit that there Is anything inter
! esting in anything but their own spe.
cial hobby. So with professors OF
crlminology. These two professors
were different however. They de.
ferred TO each other. They made al
missions. They permitted each Other
| to talk without interruption.
The botanist held up Il half wlthered
violet that he had culled on the prairie
and delivered an interesting lecture on
its roots and stem and petals, and the
! crlmlnologlst described the head and
face of the criminal with such clear.
| ness that had there been an audience
present none could have failed to Sc.
cure mental photograph. The points
he made were. first, slantlng fore.
head; second head that ran down,
hill on the back side; third. the mar.
row space between the eyes; fourth.
| a bulglng over .he eyebrows, and, fifth.
cruel expression about the mouth
In addition to particularizlng these
| points. he was good enough TO say that
Professor Thorn didn't betray single
one of the characteristics On the con.
trary. an infant had only TO take one
look at him TO know that he was as
gentle and innocent as woman.
| Professor Thorn couldn't do less than
| return the compliment. He returned
II by saying that all flowers represent.
/ ed human characters. For instance.
| the Canadian thistle represented a
| chuckle headed man. the burdock a
man full of envy and jealousy. the pig
weed Il wenlSmlnded person. the holly.
hook conceited ass, and so on.
What typihed the character OF Profess.
| or Witbeck was the lily. That stood
for purity OF soul and thought. A man
that represented the lily was always
subscribing to orphan asylums and
buying up old horses to turn out to
pasture for the rest of their lives.
Just what the professors said of eacl,
other when alone " Il private matter
| The first occasion they had TO distrust
each other was when they met at night
In the vicinity of clothing store. one
OF them had been examining the fas.
Jennings of rear window and the other
| the fastening OF n door. Professor
Wltbecl; observed that he thought the
study Of botany required daylight. and
Professor Thorn replied that he failed
| to see how the study OF crimlnology
could be pursued without the aid OF a
lantern. There was Il second meeting
on a second night, and from thence on
the relations between the two great
| Institutions OF learning seemed TO be
strained
1t was not to last long, however.
| One night after the botanlst had spent
II whole hour to effect an entrance TO
a store by way of n skylght and pho
tographer's parlors II was to come
upon the crimlnologlst. who had got In
by door ana was Just preparing to
bore the safe. BY the aid of two dark
lanterns and the English language
J some very sarcastic remarks were
| passed as to hypocrisy ana false pre-
| lenses, and then they scnsibly agreed
| to divide the labor and the Doodle.
they were working with this aim and
object In view when Il third party
crept out from his hiding place ana In
terfered. He began by handling his
| gun I'm Il reckless manner and introduc-
ing himself MS Professor Twlster OF Co
lumbla college. He had been dis.
| patched TO the great plains OF the west
to gather specimens of the bygone days
| when alligators thirty feet long and
elephants twenty-four feet high used
| to paddle up and down the river and
! gambol DER the meadows greeu. He
had finally found couple OF choice
specimens, and he bade them come
with hlm. They didn't want to, but
| they had TO. 1t was a late hour, but
| the enterprislng ana patriotic citizens
| We're ready TO turn on. and build Il big
| bonfire ard throw ropes orer the limbs
| OF trees. There wasn't much 10 he said
There WIS no particular novelty In Il
| for the crowd, and the two men stand
| ing on the heads of barrels seemed Ia
figure that they had better save Their
1