East Oregonian : E.O. (Pendleton, OR) 1888-current, 1908-08-22
(By Glenn Guernsey)


New York. Aug. 22.-The late
Robert C. Ingersoll once let fall a
few remarks touching on and apper-
tanning to the fool friends" of re-
form movements, whose words and
actions served to hinder the cause with
which they had allied themselves.
and who ARE so friendly that you
cannot kick them"
am convinced that the disciples
OF MARKHAM socialism. and even the
"opportunist'' socialists who are
principally concerned with political
methods. entertain much the same
tender feeling for the Christian So
cialists. These exponents of kid
gloved reform, who insist upon open
ing the social revolution with prayer,
will again occupy the limelight next
week, when they will hold a general
conference at Asbury Park.
Pastor With Socialists.
The Rev. John D. Long, d. D.,
pastor of the fashionable Parkside
Presbyterian church of Brooklyn
all ministers who get into the news
papers are pastors of fashionable
churches-is the leader in the Chris
tan socialist fellowship movement
For some monthes he has been en-
gagged in organizing the socialist min
listers of the country and hundreds Of
reverends and right reverends are
now said to be enrolled on the men,
bership list of the fellowship.
Among the rank and file OF the red
flag followers of New York, however,
the accession of the holy men is not
viewed with any nticeable degree of
graduation. Socialism, those unre-
generate ones insist, is an economic
system, and not church. They fear
that with the growth of the move
ment, internal dissension will arise,
and the party will be divided into
warning sects of Baptist socialists.
Presbyterian socialists Mother Eddy
socialists and high church and low
church socialists.
And the soffers inquire, more or
less pertinently, why there shouldn't
be a Christian republican party or a
Christian democratic party The
horny-handed sons of toll insist that
the ministers come out flat-footed
for Karl Marx and Eugene V. Debs
and drop their affectation of select
superiority, under penalty of being
deprived Of their red tags
College Walters.
Those ambitious young men who
work their way through college by
the sweat Of their brows are often
the recipients of effuslve commenda-
tions and sympathetic encourage
ment. In these sentiments, however,
]. Davis secor does not share Mr..
Secor owns a summer hotel out on
Long Island, and recently tried the
experiment of employing Is worthy
young college students as walters
His opinion of the ability of the
youngsters in question may now be
expressed in a row Of jim-dashes.
Mr.. secor asserts that his student
walters were assiduous in their at
tentions to the young lady guests but
that the men and the older ladies
found it almost impossible to attract
the attention Of the scholarly grub
singers.
Moreover, the dinner dishes were
left unwashed while the colleglans
spent the evenings on the rustic
bridge in the dim distance, singing
love songs to the fair listeners. For
all Of such grievances, and for the
additional reason that the colleges
the young men attended hadn't
taught them the difference between
a golf stick and soup ladle, Mr..
Secor fired his collection Of student
walters and made solemn vow,
''Never again"
Easy Marks.
Humorlsts Of the daily press fire.
ouently take occasion to pass sar-
castle remarks upon the bargain
hunting proclivities Of the fair sex,
incidentally duplicating that men are
7 L. II