The herald and news. [volume] (Newberry S.C.) 1903-1937, 1908-01-10
WRITES SPEECH TO ORDER.
One Woman Finds it a Profitable 0ccupa-
tion.-Many Requests from Parents to
Prepare Graduation Addresses.


n1awlzes no difference whether the
spc J? is for a feast or a funeral,
I ready to write it and |
guarantee satisfaction" The speak
er was young woman who occu-
pies an apartment in a studio build
ing only few doors from Fifth
avenue. MY charges are from $40
to S1oo for a speech, and from S.
to SIS for teaching how it should
be delivered.
"This is my busy season, for c''-
erybody who has any ambition to
be known as a speaker has some
thing to say at Christmas festivi-
ties. If you will let me glance
over my books for moment | can
tell you just what have on hand.
In the way of Christmas greetings,
at Christmas trees and such occas-
ions T have already delivered and
yet to be called for thirty-seven
speeches. Of this number only
four are to be taught. | mean on
" four Of the ttirty-seven persons
who are to deliver them have come
to me to learn how to speak their
speeches. Six of them are old pu-
pills and would have taken lessons
had I thought it necessary. Twenty
are new customers.
"There are just 1o2 names on my
books for toasts and replies to
toasts to be delivered within the
next two months. Most of them re-
fer to Christmas, but others are
for Washington's birthday, Lin
coins birthday, Lees birthday, and
some few for St. Valentines. AS
to toasts On women our wives or
our sweethearts' I keep supply
on hand. I write them whenever l
have a moment to spare, knowing
only too we'll they will be taken off
my hands almost any day.
"Most of the women customers
want patriotic speeches or cleVerly
worded toasts. Sometimes it is a
reply. To the LADIES' but'not OF
ten as one might expect. AS a rule
7 think that women who attend
mems dinners are quite willing to
allow the men to do the talking. l
have had some amusing incidents
connected with my women custom
ers.. but nothing like the side-spllt-
ting affairs with the men.
"There is a certain man in this
town with something of reputa-
ton as an after-dinner speaker, a
hunbrist, who comes to me tor
every word he utters in public. He
was among my first customers. A
few, weeks after I opened my Of
flee, when I was doing all the bus1-
ness alone, that man appeared one
morning and stated his wants and
said he could only give me two
DAYS to write the speech. He was
such an awkward ungainly sort
of a man that I hadn't the slightest
suspicion of his position. He didn't
say where the speech was to be de-
livered, only gave me the suh]ects
said that he wanted something very
good and was quite willing to pay
for it.
HE was on hand promptly to get
the speech and as promptly turned
in the other half of my fee for writ
ing it. Then he asked if I would
object to reading it over to HIM.
AS this was to be his maiden effort
he wanted to hear just how it
would sound to his listeners. AS
there was> no lack OF self-cont1-
dence, I suggested that he do the
reading and let me make correc-
tons, if any were necessary. Such
reading I never heard before and
never expect to hear again: He
emphasized every and the and
but in the paper to such an extent
that the other words had no exls-
tence. It was the funniest effort
at reading I had ever heard. l
have considerable self-control, but
not enough to have taken me
through that mans performance.
When I began to smile | SIMPLY
couldn't stop; the laugh had TO
conc OF. When finally | could
control myself sufficiently to eN-
plain the man wasn't the slightest
bit offended.
"'That is all right he replied.
1T shall go that way. I want the
fellows to laugh. Don't matter II
+ba coeech ic intended to be SER