The Evening statesman. [volume] (Walla Walla, Wash.) 1903-1910, 1908-12-23
; CAUGHT ON THE =
; RUN ABOUT TOWN =

the Married Man this morning as he
appeared at the clerks desk, after
having slid and skated down Main
street to his usual morning visit with
he man addressed. "And to think that
the shortest days of the year are with
Us once again. 1t does not seem pos
sible, does it? But say, kidlet, what
20 you think of Mayor Tausick's ac-
ton in refusing to turn over the keys
of the city to the Elks for their big
carnival next week."
Leo was busy; he was exceptionally
busy, but he stopped work long
enough to listen to the tale of the ora
Tor, although he would make no state
ment himself. "Well?" he asked, as a
1eader.
1T looks to a man up a tree as
though our chief executive is just a
little piqued at not being let in on
secret that Billy Metz and Jake Kauff-
nan think should be kept inviolate.
Now, if 1 were mayor of this burg, I
would not only turn over the keys, but
ID insert them in the lock and give
hem a twist, just for luck. Say, Leo,
is that blooming Statesman reporter
ground here, anywhere? He is getting
altogether too familiar with what
nave been saying, and, while the public
doesn't know who 1 am, there is
possibility that the scribe will forget
himself one of these days and make
my identity known You seel its re-
lief to me to come here each morning
and get rid of a package Of surplus
clergy that has been cOrked up during
the early evening and morning while
l. III
married man never does have a chance
20 talk while his better halflet is with
n a city block of him. Therefore
ind it both pleasant and expedient to
come here each morning, and relieve
my pentup system.
What l have to say this morning
lis on the quiet, and 1 don't want to see
lit come out in print this evening. l
Jam in on the queen racket and know
the whole works from top to bottom.
No, the Elks committee is not wise
that l have gained the information, but
the queen is well known to me and as
soon as the coronation is over, I am,
at the request of my wife, going to de-
mand that 500 offered by the commit
tee to anyone who can find a more ap-
rropriate queen. My wife thinks she
would make a better potentate than
the one selected, and, although it may
be somewhat embarrassing to me, l
must do her bidding. Woman is one
of the strangest handiworks of nature,
and as long as man has been acqUasnt-
led with her-since his rib was swiped
to start the foundation-he has not
yet reached a point where he can say
THAT he fully understands her moods
and changes.
"Take it from me, Leo; when a man
says he understands woman, he is
Ia fit subject for school for the feeble
minded; he has bats in his belfry,
rats in his garnet or pigeons in his
mizzen mast. l know, for I've been
tiled up with a double-bow knot for
1.-THE past Is years, and today, young
lister wise as l am, l don't know any
more about the moods of wiley than
Ianyone else. Some bloke has said that
when woman will she won't, and
when she won't she will Well, that
lis about the status of the affair. Adam
must have had one big time getting
wise to Eve when he had not had the
previous training of other women,
and just how he, managed it, / don't
know. Anyway he must have been
diplomat superior to Charley Taft or
he would have found himself mixed
up in international difficulties.
Its a mortal cinch, though, that
Adam told Eve the truth when she
asked him if she was the first girl
he ever loved; and it is another cinch
that he told the truth when he told
her that she was the first woman he
ever kissed; of course, Eve felt in du-
ty bound to ask those questions, and
she hasn't had a sister since those
rosy days who hasn't followed the pre-
cedent. But where Adam must have
fallen down was in the little drama
wherein he tried to makes Eve jealous
by paying his attentions to another
woman. How do you suppose he man
Jagged it, Leo?
But Adam old socks had advantages
which his brothers of today do not en-
joy; he didn't have to
There's my car; I must make run
over to Milton this morning; s'long,
kiddo; see you later" And Leo was