davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
HAD TO DISTINGUISH HIMSELF.
Jimmie Simply Reversed the Order Of
His Activities.

The teacher in the kindergarten
gave little talk on helping mother"
explaining that children who were al
most six years old could at least dress
themselves. A number of children told
what they had done in the way of dry
ing dishes, etc. All this seemed to i'm
press little Jimmie very much. The
next morning he proudly announced
in the circle: Il dessed myself dis
mornin'." OF course Jimmie received
the highest praise and other children
were urged to go and do likewise The
next day Jimmie again announced: Il
dessed myself dis mornin'," and so
proud was he that at every frequent
intervals during the morning he tri-
imphantly repeated this. So it con-
tinued on the third day, until the
teacher answered that she was very
glad to hear it, but thought that a
boy who was big enough to dress him
self ought to be able to sit quiet with
out interrupting SO often. Jimmie,
however, continued to inform the
kindergarten at every possible mo-
ment that Il dessed myself dis morn
In" Finally the teacher told him
that If he interrupted again he would
have to leave the circle. Jimmie soon
forgot and the teacher sent him be-
hind screen in the corner. A minute
later the principal entered with
visitor and was surprised to see little
head poked out from behind the
screen. The teacher explained and the
principal, crossing the room, pushed
the screen to one side. To her horror
there stood Jimmie with not even his
shirt on. Il didn't dess myself dis
time" he said tearfully, Il undessed
myself"
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
Devotees of the Weed,

Each year the people of the United
States smoke nearly S,0O0O0O,O00 ci-
gars. cheroots. stogies and all-tobacco
cigarettes, $500, 900, 900 cigarettes with
paper wrappers and consume 100000
900 pounds of smoking and chewing
tobacco and snuff. Every day we smoke
22,O00,000 cigars and 100000 cigar
cites, and either smoke or chew 500
tons of tobacco, all of which costs
100000. Every minute of the 16
hours a day that We are awake we
make ourselves poorer by sS00-for
$4,000 cigars. 10000 cigarettes and a
half a ton of plug and fine cut. II is
estimated that there are $4,000, 900
devotees Of the weed. or about as
many smokers as voters. This esti-
mate is based on the assumption that
one person in each six Of our popula-
ton is puffer Of smoke.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
Red Tape in France.

There is now lying in the Paris
morgue a mummy that Is the cause
of dispute between the police, who
insist that it is an unidentified corpse,
and the owner, who is quite sure that
1T is piece of furniture. The dispute
is the sequel to fire in fat. The
firemen found the mummy amid the
ruins Of cupboard. 1t was placed in
a sack and conveyed to the morgue
"for Identification" The owner of the
fiat has done everything possible to
get 1t back. But the police reply to all
representations with the question. "Is
mummy a corpse-yes or po?"
YES" says the owner. but" There
Is no but" declare the police; "a
mummy is corpse, and this is the
place for corpses."
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
CRUDE METHODS OF SPINNING.
Which Were Long in DlspIaeing the
Spindle and Distaff.

The invention of the art of spinning
was ascribed by the ancients to Mi
nerva, the goddess of wisdom, says a
writer in The Housekeeper. The date,
1900 B. c., is given as that of the be-
ginning OF the art in Greece, under the
direction of the king of Arcadia, but
pictured inscriptions on Egyptian mon
uments show that the use of the spin
die and distaff was known in that
country much earlier. The first dis
tan was simply stick, around which
the fiber to be spun was loosely coiled,
held in the left hand; the spindle was
sort of top set in motion by twirl
of the hand, the fiber passing between
the finger and thumb of the right
hand. This invention was improved
upon in the course of time by placing
the spindle in a frame and making it
revolve by mechanical action of the
hand or foot in connection with a
wheel or treadle-thus giving the true
spinning wheel. The first recorded
use of this was in the early years of
the sixteenth century, but it was prob
ably made and used long before this.
The first spinning jenny, a machine
working eight spindles, was invented
in 1867.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
Gcv. Stuart's Story.

Gov. Stuart. OF Pennsylvania, ap-
proaches public speaking with diff
dence. This feeling never left him,
despite his four years as mayor Of
Philadelphia. However. his long and
hard gubernatorial campaign gave him
greater confidence in himself. and to-
day he makes strong and powerful
public address. But he never attempts
even a short address without first re-
ferring to the fact that he is not an
orator, and thus prepares his audi
ence for a surprise. The other day,
introducing himself to the students at
Pennsylvania State college, he told this
story:
There was a loquacious Scottish
dominic who always had something to
say to his parishioners. 1t was a rainy
Sunday. Mrs. Mcpherson found her
way through the rain to the church.
The preacher, coming down the aisle.
approached the regular attendant. and
said: It's a wet day. Mrs. McPher.
son. Never mind said she, 1t will
be dry enough when you get in the
pulpit"
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
WHAT SHE WOULD HAVE SAID.
Lucky for Poet That American Wom-
an Was Not His Spouse.

A witty and popular American lady
was recently dining with literary
coterie in London, when some one
started conversation about the meth
ods of working adopted by authors.
Among the many instances given was
that of well-known poet, who. it
was said, was in the habit of writing
at night and in the early morning. and
who was wont to rouse his wife and
exclaim about four o'clock: Maria,
get up; l have thought of a good
word," Immediately on receiving this
signal, the poets obedient helpmate
would arise and make a proper note
of the thought-of word. About an hour
after new inspiration would seize
upon the bard. and he would then
call out: Maria, get up, get up,
I've thought of better wUrd!" The
company generally listened to the
story with admiration, but the bright
eyed American remarked: well, if
he'd been my husband, should have
replied: 'Alpheus, get up; I've thought
of bad word! d!"-London Tit-Bits.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
THE CHURCH AND THE WORLD.
Secular Religion Feature of Present
Day, Says Professor.

The world can no longer be consid
cred as sphere of human life, sepa
rate from or antagonistic to the
church. Too much religion has got
ten out of the church into the world
to allow us to think of all the good
being in the church, and of the world
as being nothing but evil. Religion
is taking on secular, in distinction
from exclusively ecclesiastical, forms
of expression. There is coming to
be world church, having a religious
consciousness to which nothing that
is common to man is foreign, and in
a sacrificial service for all the world.
We have builded better than we
know. Our philanthropies and re-
forms have sanctified the secular,
have manifolded our ministeries. The
religious valuation of the single soul,
sanctity of the one life, worth of the
person above things, is forcing broth
erhood upon business, and making it
the corollary to the proposition of the
fatherhood of God. The doctrine of
the kingdom, which is righteousness,
peace and JOY" is being translated
into politics, civics, law and diplo-
macy.-Prof. Graham Taylor, Chicago.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
CALF ENTERED AN OBJECTION.
Why One Milking Machine Was Never
Put on the Market.

Inventive genius seldom achieves
success at the first attempt A half
grown boy in Pennsylvania, who had
devoted his leisure hours for many
months to the making of milking
machine of his own devising, at last
completed 1t to his satisfaction and
resolved to make a trial of it. With
out saying word to anyone he car
ried his machine down from the attic,
where he had wrought patiently day
after day to bring it to perfection, and
took 1t out to the barnyard, where
Old Cherry, the family COW, stood
placidly chewing her cud with her big,
lusty calf playing round her. A few
minutes later his mother saw him try
ing to re-enter the house unseen. He
was covered with dirt from head to
loot and in state of decentralization
generally. In his hand he was car
rying something that looked like the
wreck of toy battleship. For
mercy's sake, Jud," she exclaimed,
what have you been doing?" I've
been trying my milking machine on
the cow he said. Your milking ma
chine! Good land! Did the COW do
all that to you?" No. answered
Jud. "Old Cherry would have stood
for 1t all right. 1t was the calf that
-er-kind o seemed to object to the
machine.'-Youth's Companion.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
LOST ART OF LETTER WRITING.
Men and Women Of To-Day Have No
Time for Such Occupation.

1t is a well-known fact that nobody
writes letters nowadays. 1t is true we
spend vast deal of time at our writ
ing table, that we consume untold
quantities of ink and nibs, while our
stationery bill is by no means the
most modest item of our ever-increas-
ing expenditure. But we neither
write nor receive letters The utmost
we do is to dash off notes in an
swer to invitations, to "scribble few
lines" of congratulation or sympathy,
as the case may be, with friend; to
express briefly but forcibly our salts
faction with our dressmaker, or our
surprise at our milliner's account. AS
for our absent relations, ON the rare
occasions when we remember their ex-
istence at all, we send them our love
on post card with a few details
about the weather, ending in tearing
haste with the hope that they will
write soon and tell us all their news
or course. they never do, which is just
as well, as If they did we should in
all probability never have time to
wade through their letters-L Incon-
nue., in Ladies' Field.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
WAS SOMETHING NEW TO MORA.
Domestic Evidently Had Had No Ex
perience with Chamois Skin.

One morning physician of Hart
lord, observing that his office windows
were anything but clean, called his
irish domestic and instructed her to
wash the panes before he returned to
he house. "On my way I'll buy a
,hamois skin, which you may use for
The purpose" he said to Nora, "and
I'll have it sent Immediately.
That afternoon, when the medico re.
.urned, he noticed that his windows
we're thickly streaked with grease.
Whereupon he summoned Nora, and
he following colloquy ensued:
Didn't I instruct you to clean those
windows?"
"Yis, sor.'
"And tell you to use the chamois
skin?''
"Yis, sor."
Then why haven't you done as you
were ordered?"
Il did, sor"
Let me see that chamofs," de
manded the doctor. The girl prompt
ly brought it, and it was then that
the doctor learned for the first time
that his wife had left the house be-
fore him and had sent home some
tripe.-Illustrated Sunday Magazine.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
SHE SEIZED THE OPPORTUNITY.
Family Didn't Often Get Chance to
Have Photographs Taken.

A philanthropic Cleveland man
heard the other day of family down
in the flats who were in extreme need
of financial aid. He made trip down
to the poor miserably furnished home
and found that the family was, indeed,
having struggle to get enough to eat
He pulled three five-dollar bills out
of his wallet and handed it to the
gaunt, half-starved looking mother and
told her to take it and spend it as she
thought best. A few days later he re-
turned to see how the family were get
ting along. All the members in sight
still looked poorly fed. Did you buy
some groceries with that S15?" he
asked. We'll, no." said the woman
with some hesitation, you see, it was
the first time we had had so much
money all at once, and it looked like
such good chance that we each went
up and had a dozen cabinet photo
graphs taken" - Cleveland Plain
Dealer.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
Wild Boar a Hard EIuhter,

For sheer deviltry and insane feroc-
ity the boar stands pre-eminent and
for courage he has no equal among
animals. A wild boar charging has
been known to bring an elephant down
on its knees, an6 one we'll authen-
ticated fight is recorded between a
boar and a full grown tiger in which
the boar more than held its own.
Tigers have the greatest respect for
wild boars and treat them according
ly. In matter of speed the horse has
not yet been foaled which can catch
a boar in its first burst. have seen
a man on a thoroughbred Arab try to
cut out boar in breaking back to
cover. and the boar literally walked
around dhim.-Recreation.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
His Wish Came True.

Prof. Edgar l.. Larkin, the noted
astronomer, was discussing marriage
at dinner in San Francisco. Prof.
Larkin believes that 1t is criminal to
continue for life marriages that are
unhappy. why condemn" he said,
with grim laugh, men and women
to such misery as afflicts our mutual
friends. the Blanks? We have all mu.
tual friends in the Blanks position.
At the height Of their nightly quarrel
the other day Mrs. Blank choked back
sob and said reproachfully: I was
reading one of your old love letters
to-day, James. and you said in it that
you would rather live in endless tor
ment with me than in bliss by your.
SELF Well, got my WISH Blank
growled."
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
Art in Baltimore.

Such exhibitions are disagreeable to
persons of refinement and demoraliz-
ing to children. A child whose father
wears whiskers suffers lifelong hand
leap. 1t is brought up in entire ig-
norance of those little niceties and del
icacies of manner which make dining
the most elegant of the arts. 1t lives
and dies without once sensing the ro-
nance and poetry which may be ex-
hibited in the eating of soup. In its
young and impressionable mind such
delicious viands as custard pie, sauer-
kraut and soft-boiled eggs are asso-
ciatod with horrible and appalling
thoughts. Its whole life is desolated
and laid waste.-The Cultured Soup
Man in Baltimore Sun.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
CALLS FOR IMMEDIATE ACTION.
Chronic Bachelor Makes a Few Re.
marks About the Modern Hatpn.

There ought to be a law against
women carrying unconcealed weap-
ons,' growled the chronic bachelor
at the club. THAT | haven't been
stabbed to death or MANNED for life
before this is due to a combination
OF agility and good luck, I'm con-
vinced. l tell you, it keeps a man
busy lodging nowadays to avoid blood
letting when he's travelling in a crowd
ed conveyance with women, or even
walking on a crowded thoroughfare
A woman is positively a menace to life
the moment she gets outdoors" why
outdoors especially" "Hatpinsi Hat
pins! Foot and a half long, some of
EN-. They stick out from both sides
OF hat like spears. Every time
woman turns her head these wicked
looking spears sweep around in a
two-foot radius; and every time she
bobs her head up and down she takes
chance of raking the nearest person
fore and aft. Suppress the woman or
the hatpin, say Lets make it the
hatpin,' suggested the married man,
gently.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
WOMEN IN THE STOCK MARKET.
Wall Street Brokers Have Private
Rooms for Fair Patrons.

The number of women spectators
is amazingly large-much larger than
even the ordinary Wall street habitue
would imagine. 1t is not commonly
known, but 1t Is a fact that many
brokerage houses maintain private
rooms for their women customers
with more often than not. private en-.
frances. There are several reasons
for this. One is that many women
who speculate do SO secretly, without
the knowledge OF their family, their
relatives or their friends. On this ac
count they desire privacy, desire to
move and have their Wall street be
ing unknown. Another reason is that
the broker himself desires 1t, princi-
pally, be 1t confessed, because he is
anxious that II there be any scenes"
they shall be private ones, far from
the maddening crowds ignoble strife"
and sight. For truth compels the
statement that women are poorer los
ers than men. 1t is the testimony OF
conservative brokers that woman
gambler is much more of a gambler
than man-much more; that is, in
absorbing tenaciousness and almost
vindictiveness. She seems to be car
ried out of and beyond herself to de-
gree that becomes uncomfortably dis
quieting when she loses. Even when
she is a winner, and, as | have said,
the proportion of winners to losers
among women is about one to twenty.
there seems to be in her satisfaction
kind of maliciousness that is not
good to see.-World To-Day.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
ANYTHING FOR "sIR wALrER.-
Instance of the Popularity Of Great
Scottish Author.

There is testimony tc Sir Walter
Scott's popularity with all classes in
The "Burford Papers" a chronicle of
former days and doings in England
and Scotland.
In 1881 Scott was invited to break
fast at an Edinburgh house. He was
so pleased with the Yarmouth bloat-
ers that were served piping hot,
that one of the feminine guests went
to the market the next day to order
some for him, to be sent to Sussex
place. where he was staying.
Il don't send so far" said the fish
monger.
Il am sorry" said the lady Tho
order was for Sir Walter Scott
The rough fishmonger started back,
then pushed forward to the lady
through his piles of fish.
For Sir Walter Scott, did you say,
madam? Sir Walter Scott? Bless my
soul, he shall have them directly II
have to carry them myself! Sir Wal
ter Scott, They shall be with him
tonight" then pausing, mo, not to-
night; for tomorrow morning a fresh
cargo comes in, and he shall have
them for his breakfast Sir Walter
Scott!"-Youth's Companion.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
Shorter Dinners.

Nothing has done more to shorten
the over-elaborate dinner than the Gus
tom of restaurant dining. In a cafe
one feels easy at inviting people to
steak with two vegetables. salad and
cheese and coffee. At home oysters
and soup. entrees and dessert would
also have been deemed necessary So
many people dine in restaurants now
that this simplicity is creeping into
the cheerfully selected little home din
ner. One may invite even ones formal
acquaintances to dinner without tax
ing. as someone puts 1t, either "the
limitations Of the cook. the hostess,
the family purse. or the patience of
the guests"
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
LAUGHTER Makes Beauty.

The art of laughter should surely
be cultivated; in fact, all and every
thing that leads to joy. The wish to
be happy, the love of gladness and
beauty is thing to be desired; con-
sequently it is worth a little cultiva-
ton. Play is as essential a factor in
mems lives as work. Philosophers tell
us that no man lives his own life until
he plays. Work comes from the ex-
igencies Of life, from the "musts" of
the world, which often push men along
different paths to those they would
choose to travel by from inclination
or capacity. Play is, however, his rec
reation, and here at his leisure time
comes out his whole soul; his power
of and choice of play, his greater or
lesser necessity of it, to recuperate
mind and body from the strain Of
daily work. Laughter is a gift that
makes man akin to the gods, that wax
ems some of the best and brightest of
his nature.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
Oregon Apples Sold at 81 Each.

The recent sale of a number Of
boxes of winter banana apples at
Hood river at IS box has brought
up the question of record prices for
apples. The horticultural annals Of
the state show that in 1856 one box
of Spitzenberg apples grown in the
Willamette valley and shipped to San
Francisco netted the shipper $50. In
the same year three boxes of winesaps
were sold in Portland for $102, or $34
box. In 1855, 5000 boxes of apples
grown in Oregon were sold at prices
which netted the shipper $40 to $50 a
bushel. In 1854, 500 boxes were sold
at from $50 to $50 box. The first lot
of apples grown on grated trees were
sold in Portland by the grower,
Henderson Luelling, at 81 an apple
Los Angeles Times.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
WANTS KINDNESS IN GREETING.
Poet Objects to SaIutation Without
the Proper Spirit.

The poet was quite cast down. A
friend met him and asked after his
health, and this is what he said: why
do people persist in saying Good
Morning when the spirit Of Good
Morning is not there? Why not give
blow? Then one could offer some
resistance to this Monday morning
sanitation from people who care not
whether the morning is good or not;
who only want to thrust themselves
upon you. Better, far, silent en-
trance than greeting from which the
life has fled. What does Good Morn
ing mean unless it carries sympathy?
So many Good Mornings and not
one little bit of kindness-how hard
and metallic most of them are! The
first one l got was from a gruff man
with harsh voice. He has set all my
nerves to jangling, why could he not
leave me alone? Then, in a moment,
a girl came and bent over my shoul-
der. Her voice was sweet and woman
ly. Her Good Morning soothed me.
One day l came along Broadway.
The memory of the Good Morning
| received will never leave me.
looked into eyes upon which the dew
of the morning had fallen-out of
which the light of heaven had
streamed. 1t made the whole day diff
ferent. | believe / could have smiled
back at the gruff man If l had been
so greeted to-day" But, my good
poet" said his friend, in a hurt tone,
''is that meant for me? Have l set
your nerves to jangling?" God be
thanked, no. You are the first man
I've met whom l haven't felt like
numbering. Here, give me your hand,
let me shake 1t again, and get into
sympathy with my kind" What an
odd fellow said his friend, as he
watched the poet walk away.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
The Dramatic Instinct.

Prof. Bradner Matthews. in a lee.
ture on theatrical conventions to a
class in dramaturgy, the other day
told the following story:
"a little girl had dramatizcd sofa
pillow into horse, and had ridden
on the horse to her mothers knee.
'Horsy is thirsty. mamma she said.
To humor her. the mother brought a
glass OF water, but the little one care.
fully emptied the water in a jardiniere
before Offering the glass to her pillow.
A pertended horse ought to drink per-
tended water she remarked gravely."
-Harper's Weekly.
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
When He Wore His SILK Hat.

Il was spending my vacation a couple
OF summers ago in little Vermont
village and my favorite loafing place
was In front Of the Town Grocery
talking to the general grocer" says
traveller. I'VE were sitting in front
on couple of egg crates one after
noon when an old man wearing silk
hat passed on the other side of the
street. I don't see how them fellers
wear them hats, observed my friend.
the grocer. Now. I've had one for 30
years-left to me by my father-and
I've never wore 1t but twice-once to
a funeral and once on a campin' trip"
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
Test satisfaosory-to Himself.

recent number of Simplizissimus
tells this STORY with i moral: THE
Union Bank of st. Petersburg has its
own police service. One night the di.
rector was sleepless. He wondered
whether the bank police were really
trustworthy. He concluded to make
trial. He disguised himself and
rushed, pistol in hand, into the bank
vault The police were good for moth
ing. They looked on quietly while the
director pocketed 100000 rubles and
carried them away. Since then no one
has seen the director"
Gilpin observer., 1908-01-09
But Seeihq Is Believing,

Three business men of Chicago, one
of whom is said to be rather "close"
in financial matters, were on their
way to luncheon one day, when they
were stopped by several sisters of
charity, soliciting aims. Each one of
the three men contributed something;
but when one of the sisters inadvert.
entity solicited from the CLOSE" man
second time, he protested politely
that he had already done his part. AS
the three continued on their way, one
whispered in the ear Of the other, II
believe him. but l did not see It," II
saw him do it," whispered back the
second man. "but don't believe it,
Illustrated Sunday Magazine.