davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

D. m Evenings at the shoreman. Such business must not be intruded at the White House. William Loeb, Jr.
 Another feature of the court journal was a parody on Poe's "The Bells en- titled "The Booms," which was sub sequently read with elocutiohary ef- feet.
 Speaking of booms and the presence of the candidates. pleasing feature of the decorative effects of the banquet hall should not be overlooked. This consisted of a dozen or more of vari colored balloons, which hoated above the tables, typifyng the presidential booms there in evidence and enchanc- ing the beautiful effect of Smalls handiwork Since reporters are never present it is out of the question, of course, to go into detail as to the many interesting and amusing things that made up the night of jollity. It was not all fun, mind you, for now and then a serious note was touched in song or speech, as is always the case. A minutes interlude, for instance, was
 
 Emory Smith, one of the foremost newspaper men of the day and genera tion-a gentleman who had many times graced the Gridiron banquet table, and who was to have been one of the guests of honor at this particular dinner. Of the stunts" or as some might call them, "acts'-well, really to be ' appreciated they would have to be seen l and heard. Once during the course of the dinner, just after a statesman of | renown had been heard and taken his seat, Miss Democracy" made her ad- vent on the scene. She created sen sation with her fluttering curls and old maidish makeup. She had important business her escort, club member explained and he had taken the liberty of admitting her, alth ough he under stood, of course, that constructively no ladies are present. Miss Democracy" was in search of somebody. She wanted to see a man. Governor Johnson of Minnesota was that man, but he was not there. When asked if some other prominent democrat-Mr. Bryan for example-would not do, she replied sharply in the negative.
 T accepted him in '96 and again in 1900, and he tilted me both times" said the simpering female.
 Judge Gray and Judge Harmon were persona non grata to her because they wore mustaches. "Yon Yonson" was her man, and she had a proposal to make to him. She would not disclose the nature of the proposal, but said slyly, as she made her exit, This is leap year, you know"
 At another stage of the dinner bundle of paper was put on exhibition, wrapped with a piece of twine at least 20 feet long, It developed that this was the original of the Presidents latest third-term renuncia- ton, just handed in by Senator Bourne and that it had a string tied to it. Important news from the battle feet came in bottle picked up in Chesapeake Bay It was a round robin" from 14OOo sailors who asked that the demijohn be refilled and returned.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26
Turkeys Cheap.

q have been struck with the bountiful dishes of turkey that a 25 cent table dhote restaurant serves this season." said a Bohemian. ''As I, a diner, was getting more than value for my money, made no protest: but the other day I asked the proprietor how he could afford to serve turkey and in large portions at that. He said he simply watched for bar gains. He could not afford to give his 25 cent patrons such high class food when turkey sold for IS cents wholesale; but at the weeks end the price usually dropped to 10 cents, sometimes lower
 And 10 cent turkey Is as cheap as any other meat used in 20 cent restaurants''
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26
A QUESTION OF NUMBERS.

During the recent municipal election in San Francisco two local Irish politicians rented a hall and secured several speak CTS to urge the support of their favorite candidate. The day following they were talking over the meeting, and Rafferty said:
 great success, wasn't it?"
 Sure 1t was,' says Donovan.
 "And how many people do you think were there?" asked Rafferty "I should think seventeen or eighteen hundred"
 "Oh, there was more than that" says Donovan. "There must have been at least g thousandr
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR

From the New York Press.
 A girl who is willing to elope must know her husband can buy her a lot of clothes
 You can generally tell girl who has been kissed by the way she acts as if she hadn't
 When a man doesn't want his eggs broken into a cup it's because he's away visiting. A womans idea of a good joke is when she can tell it's time to laugh without understanding it.
 When man is very rich he misses a lot of fun by not being able to ts~ue all his blunders on his poverty
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26
lalIs. n Two Cities

Atlanta is proud of the fact that It's city jail held no prisoner on one even- ing of last week. Never before had it been in that condition. The fact that the city has stockade as well as
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26
About Persons.

H. Moring of Selma is at the New Morris.
 c. Holt Smith of Montgomery is at the New Morris.
 c. C. Huckabee of Yolande is at the New Morris.
 L. W. John. Jr., of Kingston is at the New Morris
 J. K. Norris of Oakman is at the New Morris.
 W. l.. Brennan, the diamond drill ex- pert, has returned from the west.
 State Examiner H. Y. Brook is in Bir- mingham to go over the books of officials of Jefferson county.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

The Pennsylvania railroads are now free to charge more than two cents a mile, but they begin to think they cannot afford to do it, except in few lame instances.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

The Brooklyn Eagle threatens to bolt the Denver nomination unless it Is permitted to name the nominee. The borough of Brooklyn is becoming alto gether too presuming.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

General Grosvenor poses as a seer even though he stands discredited at home. He is a guesser who did fair ly well in times of prosperity, but the times are now out of joint.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Kentucky is indulging in senate rial election sandwiched with night. riders.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Atlanta proposes to increase its water rates to make good it's lack this year of money from other kinds of drinks. This is keeping the trouble in the family.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

General Grosvenor could not proph- esy how his own congressional dis trict would go, and he stands discred- ited as a prophet in the wider field.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

The powers are letting France do all the fighting in Morocco, but when peace comes each and every one of them will get busy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

The tackles continue to draw pay even when they are engaged in junk ct at the expense of South American cities.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Henry Gassaway Davis and even the lady herself admit that that wedding Is to be pulled off according to an- nouncement
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26
LITTLE TIN HON.

By Frank l.. Stanton. Twuz year ago, on Chris'mus mon, Dat we hearn him blow en blow, En his mammy call him, little Tin Hon." Chris'mus, a year ago. His mammy-she name him so, Fer de music what he blow
 He wus all she had,
 En hit des too bad Dat he out dar, under de snow! We des sot by dat on Chris-mus mon Fer to heah him blow en blow; En I never knowed dat little tin hon Could stir up de feelin's so! But somehow, peared to know Dat him en de hon would go.
 He wuz all we had,
 En hit des too bad Dat he out dar, under de snow! En de Chrismus come wen de Christ wuz bon, En de Chris mus bugles blow; But deys nuttin' sweet ez de little Tin Hon Dat lefs us a year ago. Nuttin' so sweet, I know, Ez de music what he blow,
 He wuz all we had,
 En hit des too bad Dat he out dar, under de spowi
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Florida cannot afford to adopt pro- hibition because of her number of snakes. She must keep "snake-bite" handy.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

The fleet suffered nothing worse at Rio than the luxurious hospitality of the growers of Java and Mocha cof- fees.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Italy is angry because 100000 Ital. ians have returned from America with. out means of support.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Cuba is not crying out for freedom so much as for admission to the union as state.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

An elastic currency that will re- spond when called is what we need.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

The decline in food values is bring. ing the dollar dinner near the top in the luxurious class.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Persian rugs are woven on Great Britain's looms and then are sold In Persia to be resold in America.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

New York's tax list shows that there are no more than dozen millionaires in the entire city.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Cortelyou no longer believes the primer class story that every good child may become president
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Cortelyou gumshoes to the treas. ury department and then gumshoes back to his roasting place.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Governor Hughes will be starter at any rate when the flag falls.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

The Panama canal is to be built re. gardless of cost, but not of time.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

A MID-wINTER RHAPSODY. Days of frolic, days of gladness, Days of joy and gentle madness
 Summer daysi Days beneath the weeping willow, With a cypress log for pillow
 Summer daysi Days of idle dreams and wishing, Eating, sleeping, loafing, fishing
 Summer days! Days of inexpensive blisses, Holding hands and stealing kisses Summer days! Days of tender thoughts and roses, Phyllis in a garden poses
 Summer days! How we long to see them coming, Song of birds and bees a-humming-
 Summer daysl
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26
ADRIFT WITH THE TIMES
Ae51s1,xs~

of punl1in pie and something to wash 1t down. Besides, we'd like to take look at the orange-fed beauties of Flor ida and see how much inferior they are to the glorious pie-fed beauties of Ala bama.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26
FOR A FUSsER,

From the Princeton Tiger. The time-Any time. The place-Any place. The girl-Any girl.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26
I hate to see man, so darned particular!

THE LEADER. The germs assembled in a hall
 To nominate a chief The busy scene presented there Would tax mans belief. And when the votes were counted all~ Indulged loud Hip! hip!' To see how solidly they had
 Elected M. la Grippe. A Pittsburg burglar was so struck with the picture of a girl in bathing suit that he took it away and forgot to steal her jewels. Now that burglar has what we would call an aesthetic temperament.
 NOTHING. This thought is unforgettable
 When counting up your breaks, There's nothing more regrettable Than having made mistakes. Paul Cook says the people of Birming- ham are keeping theirs" in vaults. The locker system, eh?-Houston Post. Yes. the lock er up system. Birmingham sports will bet on the Ben Hur chariot race, as usual, provided they can get the man from Boligee to bet on Messala.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

'"The Witching Hour is being played in Chicago. That's the time when Chi cago footpads get in their best work.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26
THINKS WAY DOWN

THIN KS w A1 DOWN. CT would call that man deep thinker" "Why?'
 He's an ocean pilot"
 CERTAINLY IS BORING. I hate to see man so darned particular! He lent me twenty bones a month ago I wasn't strong, financially, you know And now he says l won't pay what l
 owe. I hate to see man so darned partlcular! For real tobasco qualities the Hoxie- Walker divorce suit at Portsmouth, N. H., has "3 Wks." backed off the boards.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

look at the orange-fed beauties of Flor ida and see how much inferior they are to the glorious pie-fed beauties of Ala bama-
 PREoCCUPIED. He often left his hat behind
 Or didn't wear a tie, And couldn't see trolley car
 When 1t was passing by To show how far along a man
 Who's absent-minded gets, He forgot that he was married and
 Forgot to pay his debts. "The Witching Hour is being played in Chicago That's the time when Chi cago footpads get in their best work.
 SOOTHING. q am so nervous can hardly keep still"
 "Go out and look at Birmingham po- liceman."
 PLAYING IN TOUGH LUCK.
 He sang about his dearie- E The sentimental poet.
 She was anothers dearie-
 Alas he didn't know itl Science is endeavoring to explain the loquacity of women. They are just nat urally born that way. An Illinois philanthropist is said to be good to widows. It is easy to be good to widows.
 "Is Tetra7inni the real thing?" asks the St. Louis Times. She is substantial ' enough to be the real thing.  AN ANGEL NOW Camphor balls Gum drops,' thought baby. Little dears In heaven, maybe. Antonio Scotti has made a hit In Don Giovan" Great Scotti! Nothing throws noise farther than . trombone PAUL COOK.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26
GET INTO THE FIGHT.

GET INTO THE FIGHT. Struggle on 'gainst pain and sorrow, Better luck will come tomorrow, Trouble wasn't made to borrow
 Struggle on,
 Struggle on gainst all mischances, Courage still the cause advances, Never fear the hostile lances-
 Struggle on!
 Go where men are thickest falling, Where the fray is most appalling, Where the voice of duty's calling
 Struggle on!
 If Paul Cook will come over to the Jacksonville Mid-Winter exposition we'll treat him to piece of homegrown punlin pie and something to wash it down that he cannot get in Birmingham outside of the express office-Florida Times Union. If 1t wasn't so far to walk we would certainly come down and get that piece
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

q am so nervous I can hardly keep still"
 "Go out and look at a Birmingham po- liceman."
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

'Is TetraMnni the real thing?" asks the St. Louis Times. She is substantial enough to be the real thing.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Entered at the Birmingham Ala., postofhce as second-class matter uhoeF act of Congress March 8, 1879.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

No communication will be published without It's auth hor's name. Reoeeleu manuscript will not be returned unless stamps are enclosed for that purpose.
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

L. H. Russ. F. A Griswold and z. D. Morgan are the only authorized traVei, ing representatives of The Age-AeFa4u in its circulation department
The Birmingham age-herald., 1908-01-26

Antonio Scotti has made hit In Don Giovani." Great Scotti!
 Nothing throws noise farther than . trombone. PAUL COOK.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-05-21
GARDEN or THE UNION
FLORIDA IN THE FUTURE

anco Of this honored servant that
there has mover been q case o.
bydrophobia to DO found among
! the official records Of the town.
1t may be that other Florida
towns have been less fortunate
than Punta Gorda in thus training
the natural intelligence Of the
alligator TO the highest point OF
effectiveness in The public service,
and il is partly in the hope that
other towns will emulate our ex-
ample that this article is written.
We recall the expressions OF
surprise and astonishment, Of an
amazement amounting to incredu-
lily, which fell from the lips of
visitors TO our town, who for the
first time witnessed the spectacle,
common on our esplanade, Of the
trained alligator performing nurse
maids duty by taking the children
out for an airing in the cool Of the
afternoon.
Those who have never had oc-
casion to observe The devoted CON
centration Of the alligator when
wheeling the peramhulaIor, with
as many AZ four small boys and
girls perched gully on bis hack,
have missed perhaps the most
convincing sight that could be
offered as IN argument in favor of
the rescue of this faithful friend
from the destruction that threat
ems this species.
We have said enough to show
that the alligator should he pre-
served and protected. Mention
has been made of bis honest bark
as q moral force. We are anxious
TO put an end to the traffic in
which his honest bark appears in
The form of handbag, suit cases
clc., aud we earnestly urge that o
united effort by the public opinion
OF this State be put forward TO
save the alligator from extinction.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-05-21
A Snake Bite knife.

Chicago Journal:-The British
government has been actively
lighting snakes in India for a
dozen years and more, and still
these reptiles kill many thousand
natives annually. Sir Lander
Brnmton recently devised q neat
pocket instrument for handy use
in case of snake bite, and tho In
dian government has decided Ia
distribute the apparatus widely
among the natives. II consists OF
a small knife, in the handle of
which is cavity. This is kept
filed with permanganate of pot
ash, u powerful antiseptic and
caustic. When q person is bitten
he Immediately cuts the wound
open widely and rubs the perman-
ganate npon the raw surface. Ii
the bite is in the extrenities and
this operation is performed with
out delay, the treatment is said to
be very effective.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-05-21
WILL BE KNOWN
Tort World rs the Foremost OF
the Non-rilneral Bearing States
of the Nation. Opinion
OF an Eminent Ran.

The late Hon. W. d. Kelley, of
Pennsylvania, is the author of tho
following: For moro than three
weeks | loitered in what is to bD
known TO the world as the winter
farm and garden of tho Union,
hitherto deApised Florida. I
speak with deliberation when !
say that that state which though
admitted to tho Union by an acl
Of congress on the same day on
which Iowa was admitted, which
embraces 10000 more SQUARE
miles Of territory than Iowa, and
whose population numbered 10000
in excess of Iowa in 1916, had
come In 1870 to have 100000,
and say without fear that time
will confirm my assertion THAI
foremost among the non-bearing
mineral states Of the Union, win
he its farm and garden, beautiful
Florida, the tip END Of tho south.
There will he n flora such as no
part of the Union can produce;
such as neither Mexico, nor Japan,
nor China, nor Africa, nor South
ern Europe can produce, buh
where you will find the choicest
products of all these lands, whcth.
er in the mere fora or the bcauti-
full blossoms Of the Forthcoming
crops of fruit or vegetable. There
is a land that combines the soil
and climate Of all lands, and
whose productions for beauty and
utility will measure, almost may
say, the possibilities Of the pro-
auctions Of all lands, 1t is land
for sugar par excellence beyond
Cuba; it's tobacco fields will rival
at once those of Cuba and of TIM
Connecticut and Lebanon and
other northern valleys; it is tho
land of rice. What about cotton,
said | to gentleman whose farm
/ was trayersing. ooh don't talk
to us aboutcotton; a Florida farm
er has no time TO fool with il at
s cents per pound when he can
raise vegetables and fruits for thu
north for such prices as we get"
The whole Of the Gulf portion OF
the south is literally, or will bo
when properly managed, the land
of wine and milk and honey, and
all beautiful and graceful things
together with the great staples to
which have alluded, and others.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-05-21
SAVE The ALLIGATOR.
A Plea for diary Legislation
TO Prevent his Extinction.


The day is coming when The al.
ligator will be as scarce in this
State of Florida us the once pIcn.
liful buffalo on the western prai.
RIGS.
The extinction of the alligator
is assured unless steps are taken
to preserve what is left Of these
picturesque creatures, hy string.
ent legislative enactment.
1t were a thousand pilies If we
continued idly to watch the
slaughter that is daily thinning The
ranks, and voiced no protest
against the wantonness of this
destruction.
Let it be remembered that The
alligator is native to but few States
in the Union, and if some interest
and effort Is not made in these
Gulf States, in his behalf, he will
become as extinct in Il few years
as the mammoth and mastodon.
Our State must move in the
matter,
The virtues of the alligator, the
nobility of character of this be.
loved saurian, arc through luck OF
knowledge hidden from the world
at large.
1t is not generally known, for
example, that here in Punta Gorda
the alligator has helped us to solve
much of the perplexity Of the SER
want problem, performing many
of the duties of household service
in manner as creditable to his
intelligence rs TO his heart.
To the practice of many of our
leading citizens of allowing these
domesticated lizards TO roam their
yards ut night, unfetlercd and
free, wealtribute in cur Town the
happy absence we enio, of trampsc
burglars and yellow dogs.
Asa watchdog, the alligator is
unsurpassed. His honest bark is
enough to put the fear of God into
the hearts of all midnight prowl-
ers, and his affection for superllu-
Gus dogs is only equaled by his
capacity for beneyoIcntly assimi-
Iating them.
1t is due, perhaps, TO the vigil
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-05-21

Winter Haven has one of the
most unique organizations in tl@
state in the form of the Citr@
Protection League. The object OF
the association is TO fight against
any pest that may iniure the
groves. Bylaws have been adop
ted and a beard are TO supcrintcna
all spraying of orchards and to
conduct any fight against the
white fly or other insect that in
tests the groves. This is wor-
thy organization.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-05-21

Complete returns from Tues
days primary throughout tho
State canno, I've given before Sat
urdv. The Australian ballot
which was asod was a very long
one, containing ia many instances
over 100 names; Sad at tho large
polling places Il was impossible
for the managers 10 finish tho
count in less than twenty.four
hours.
The Punta Gorda herald. [volume] (Punta Gorda, Fla.) 1893-1958, 1908-05-21

county vote by telephone, some
trifling errors may have occurred
in transmission, but the following
is substantially correct, 1t com
prises only tho vote for the con-
tested offices and for those only in
which the greatest interest is felt:
For y. S. Senator Beard 1877,
Broward 795, Fletcher 43S, Lamar
1865.
Governor Browne 1873, Gill
christ 1867, Stockton 657.
State Barwlck S64,
Humphries 1919.
Representative - Brown 1925,
Bateman 1910.
Sheriff Freeman, 1913, Hamp
ton 1865.
Clerk Carlton 1886, Langford
G62.
Judge Brown 1904, Whitney
III.
Assessor Cooper $50, Murphey
1858.
Collector Baldwin I'll, Camp
bell 635, Starke TAI. Baldwin
and Starke must run in the June
primary. 49,.
Treasurer Hendry 1877, Will
liams 72S.
The returns bear out The HER
ALp's claim made several weeks
ago that Gilchrist would get 1900
votes in DeSoto.