davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
What the President Thinks of eiseIo~

TTUNl oUCt.t'SS -Nd5dHIIIt7
Attending one OF President Roose-
velt's luncheonS. Il guest sought to en-
;ertaill The company With this anec-
dote
when the emperor of Germany first
.go1 II graphonc he marveled III 1t, and
nj once wanted 10 see how 1T worked.
He took it apart. and then put ii to-
gelher again. perfectly readjusting
from memory every piece of minute
mechanism.
Mi Roosevelt was interested-until
the speaker added. The kaiser $
friend Poultney Biselow tells the
story
Al that MIR. Roosevelt drew in his
breath and rejoined through set teeth:
II wish somebody would take Pcnlt
ney Bigelcw apart and forget how te
pu, him together again.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
How the Young Idea Shoots.

7 .Ntls f.Ntl y ppIN = shdssstHiii'
Many Of the children are so cram,ned
with everything THAI they really know
nothing.
IN proof of this, read These veritable
specimens OF definitions. written by
public school children:
stability is taking care OF a stable"
A mosquito is the child OF black and
white parents
Monastery is the place for mon
sters
~Tocsin is something TO do With get
ting drunk"
Representation is TO have the small
pox.
"Cannibal is two brothers who killed
each other in the Bible.
Anatomy is the human body. which
consists of three parts. the head. the
chist and the stummick. The head
contains the eyes and brains. if amy
The chist contains the lungs and q
piece of the liver The st,llnnict is
devoted To the bowels. of which there
are fve. u. g, i, o. III, and sometimes W
, and "
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
Beware the Comma.

From ihc chicago Evening Pos;
Ar. you q reckless user OF commas?
Ii So beware; for thu owlg piinctuat:or.
mark. for all its dropping, humble aspect
has vast possibilities of mischief and is
addicted, IN twisting sentences into u
noclSnrN OF tlls writcr's ideas
The commas ileld of greatest activity
is HE IAN. In the history ol Illinois at
least one Statute has been overthruwE be-
cause the nri,t,i nr he pronfreader. or
! SOM shrewa politician slipped in a comma
where none was intended, and so ruined
the whole statute. Nor is this state alone
tuation marks mischief making proclivi-
ties No less disufied a statute than a
tariff law has been made the sport of
this innocent appearing mark The law
In question contained Il clause intended
to read fra plants. etc but the printer
substituted a comma for The hyphcn and
thereby placed fruit or the free list.
the whole asphalt imbroglio may be said
To rest upon n p.;:Gtnaton mark "A dec-
NAL point this tune. When way back
i'm lSS:;. The rS' asphalt concession was
made The Surveyor report described tho
asphalt ,icuosits rs $50 inst ad of $50 me
tors above the SEA, and this mistake sup
Piled the NcaeaGeiIn courts with All ex
clls,e for revokine .he concession.
Clearly i; neM0oNes ne wisest amor <
US To keep a watchful eye on the comma
and lis relatives of The plllcSraton fam
lily When in doubt use i period aud
stop
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
FAM1LY's SKIN TROUBLES.
Ec1emn. Heat Rash, and Scalp Alec
lions Atiict DiHercn, MemLers,

Eczemn, Heat Rash, and Scnlp AHec-
lions Aiiiict Different MemEers,
but Cuticurn Cures Them.
My wife had eczema for five or six
years. 1t was Oh her face and would
come and go. We thought we would
give the Cuticura Remedies trial. We
did so and she has never had sign OF
eczema for four years. myself used
Cuticura Soap and Cuticura Ointment
some time ago for falling hair now
have very heavy head of hair. We
used Cuticura Remedies for our baby.
who was nearly bald when young. She
has very nice hair now She Is very
tleshy, and we had so much trouble
with heat that we would battle her
with Cuticura Soap and then apply
Cutlcuia Ointment, 1T would dry the
heat up so much quicker tlaD anything
else. Mr.. H. b. Springmire. 323 SO.
Capitol Street. Iowa City. Ia, July ~.
1905, and Sept. 10. 1906"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07

Voluntary inmolation on the funeral
pyre of her husband WAS of frequent
occurrence in India before Lord Will.
lam Bentincks suppression Of H. In
olden times the tendency of thought
and feeling gave an impetus 10 The do
ing of such deeds This devotion TO the
departed husband is not confined to the
widow only. III is expected of the wife.
in circumstances of unnatural conduct
on TIE part of the living husband He
may spurn her; still she should not
only bow to he, lord without Z, demur.
but he loyal To MIN.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07

OF my recovery and had given up, but
ut last started using Doan's Kidney
Pills and made rapid gain. After
three months use WINS we'll and Mt
work again"
Sold by all dealers. 80 cents a box.
Foster Mllburn Co. Buffalo. N. Y.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07

After the recent discovery of {! new
rubber plant in Cochin China comes the
discovery in Brazil of a new family
group of n plant which promises 10 be-
come a valuable source OF rubber. tho
demand of which for many purposes is;
constantly increasing. \ report of the
Royal Botanical Garden and Museum
at Berlin mentions the results of eXper-
ments with three new species of man
ihot trees. which We're discovered on Il
trip through the forests of the province
of Bahia rubber syndicate. Two OF
these are considered the rubber plants
of the future for dry and little fertile
regions.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
WANTED BLACK EYE
SOUVENIR OF "JEFf.'

made unique request OF "Jiin Jetfres
today,
Lyle wandered into Jeffs place and
said: MIR Jeffres I'm just off the
Whipple and I've never been Yves, be-
fore. come from Philadelphia and
back i'm that town we have one tighter,
Jack O'Brien. ] had Instructions from,
Philadelphia friends that if I RAJ. across
YOU i'm this country should bring back
a souvenir of you. So if you will oblige
me and lots of friends back East. kindly
swipe me just once In the eye. So i, will
be good and black. Then | can tel,
the folks that Jeff did It,
Jeffries listened To the snilor sli then
refused
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07


wished death might
end my awful suffer-
ings. The secrctions
We're thick with sedl-
ment, my ! ! m b 3
swollen and my right
side so nearly par
alyzed l could not
raise my hand above
my head. The doc
tor held out no hone
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
LYDIA e. PINKHAM

Nature and u wonan's work COM
bined have produced the grandest
remedy for woman's ills that the
world has ever known.
In the good old-fashioned days OF
our grandmothers they relied upon
the roots and herbs of the field to-
cure disease and mitigate suffering.
The Indians on our Western
Plains to-day can produce roots and
herbs for every aillnent, and cure
diseases that BATTLE the most skilled
physicians who have spent years LII
the study of drugs.
From the roots and herbs OF tho
field Lydia +. Pinkham more than
thirty years ago gave to the women
of the world a remedy for their pc
culiar ills, more potent and etfica-
cious than amy combination ofdrugs.
Lydia Il. PinSham's Vegetable
Compound is now recognized as the
standard remedy for woman's ills.
Mrs. Bertha Mutf, of sis NC. St,
Louisiana, Mo-, writes:
Complete restoration to health
means so much to me that for the sake
of other suffering women am willing
to make my troubles public.
For twelve years had been suffer-
ing with the worst forms of female ills.
During that time had eleven different
physicians without help. No tongue
can tell what suffered, and at times
could hardly walk. About two years
ago wrote Mrs. PinlSham for advice.
followed ii, and can truly say that
| Lydia Y. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound and Mrs. Pinlshams advice re-
stored health and strength. 1t is
worth mountains of gold to suffering
women
What Lydia +. Pinkham's Vege-
table Compound did for Mrs. Mutt,
j it will do for other suffering women.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07

The negro colony in Toronto has
hers A Toronto visitor in Baltimore.
William r. McIPhail. talked about it
the other day to i reporter II do not
think he said, that Canada is gen
orally speakins-h desirable country
for the Afro Aneficans perhaps it is
too far north anyway but few of them
are coming to The Dominion. The ne
groes of Toronto, however. are Il re-
spectacle and respected clement
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
When the servan. Reians,

Three things make earth ,inanet.
And four she cannot brook
The pious Agnr counted them.
And put them in book
These -Four Tremendous Curses
Vita which mankind is eurst
But, A Servant when h. Erigneth
Old Agur counted first
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
In Pinch. Use Alien. Feot-Ea.-.

A powder to shake into your shoes 1t rests
the feet Cures t'orns. I.unions. swollen.
Sore Hot callous. Achiag, Sweating feet
makes new or tight shoes easy. Sold by all
Druggists and Shoe Stores. 25c. Sample
mailed FREE Address Allen y. 0lmsted.
lie Row y. Y.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
FIREMAN STAYS WIFE,
HER MOTHER AND SELF

Denver. May 7.--Burton Koch a mem
Der of the city fire department shot
and killed his wife, Louisa, and wound
ed Mrs. Matilda Motley. her mother.
and then committed suicide early today
Domestic troubles is said to be the
cause.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07

ah.s delayed passage D
{called Corst:pation)is to
take big dose Of Castor Oh.
Thismercly makes s.ipperythe passage
fer unloading the current cargo.
1t does rot help the Cause OF delay a
srifle.
ltdoes slackcn.he Bowel-Muaclesmore
than ever, and thus weakens them for
their next task.
Another remedy is to take a strong
Cathartic, like Salts. Calomel. Jaiap.
Phospate OF Sodium. Aperient Water, or
any Of thes. mixed.
What does the Cathartic do?
I. mere flushes-out the Bowels with a
waste of Digestive Juice, sesflowing into
the lnt:stines through the tiny suckers.
But, the Digestive Juice we waste III
doing this today IS needed for tomorrow
natural Digestion. We cannot afford te
lose il.
That's why cascare,s are the only SAT.
medicine fer the bowels
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07

Last year Brazil needed over 90 900, 900
jute bags tc hold the years coffee pro-
.duction. Each bag costs the shippers a
.trifle over Is cents. The business Of
making coffee bags thus amounted last
year to nearly 100000.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07

They are purposely put up like candy
so you must eat them slowly andletthem
go down gradually with the saliva, which
is in itself, fine. natural Digestive.
They are put up purposcly in thin. flat.
round-cornered Enamel boxes. so they
can be carried in mans vest pocket. OF
in woman's purse, all the time, without
bulk or trouble.
Price loc box at all druggists.
Be very careful to get the genuine.
made only by the Sterling Remedy Com
pany and never sold in bulk. Every tablet
stamped "ccc." 7l2n
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
ALMOST a MIRACLE.
Raised Up When Science Snid There
Was No Hope.

c. W. T.. Nesbitt. Depot street, Mar
ion. Ky. writes ~ was a chronic in
valid with kidney troubles and often
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07

The Ohio Mississippi coal trade,
which persists today. Is one of the
greatest single movements of cargo in
the world From Pitlsburg to New Or
leans is 1000 miles. all downhill. Coal
In l,00O-ton barges is RATED into fleets
and towed down this distance by pow
erful steamboats,. at Il cost of less than
IS cents a ton, against railroad rate
OF about $4.o0-frnm Pittsburg TO Mem
pllis for 43 cents. against Il rail rate of
1910. Millions of tons of coal have gone
this way and always Will go this way.
because the boats have only to drift.
and those that come back mostly emp
~. are not hard To shove upstream.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07

They do notwaste any precious fluid Of
the Bowels, as Cathartics do.
They do not relax the Intestines by
greasing them inside like Castor Oil or
Glycerine.
They simply stimulate the Bowel
Muscles to do their work naturally. com
fortably, and nutritiousl,-
And, the Exercise these Bowel Muscles
are thus forced to take. makes them
stronger for the future, just as Exercise
makes your arm stronger,
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
STATE OF ONO. CRY or rolnpo. 81

STATE OF OHIO CITY or Tol.Epo. 81.
Lucas COUNTY.
Frank j. Cheney makes oath that he y
senior partner of the firm OF r. j. Cheney 4
Co.. doing business in the City of Toledo.
County and State aforesaid. and that said
firm Will pay the sum OF ONE HUNDRED
DOLLARS for each and every case OF Gu
tarrh that cannot he cured by the use OF
Halls Catarrh Cure FRANK J. CHENEY.
Sworn to before me and subscribed in my
presence, this 9th day of December, A. "
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07
How to Exercise the
Bowels

Your ln.eshnes are lined inside with
millions Of little suckers. that draw the
Nutrition out of food as it passes them.
But, if the food passes too slowly, it
decays before it gets through. Then the
little suckers draw Poison from itinstead
of Nutrition.
This Poison r,akcs Gas that Injuries
you. system more than the food should
have nou.ished it,
You see. the food is Nourishment or
Poison, Just according to how long itstays
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-05-07

Halls Catarrh Cure Is taken Internally
aud acts directly on the blood and mucous
surfaces of the system Send for testlmo-
Evening journal., 1908-12-05
Mr. NUGENT DIDN'T
WRITE THAT LETTER

r. IT, Nugcnt OF No. 2i7 Fifth avenue,
denies that he wrote the letter regard
ing the Lincoln football team that ap-
pcared over his name, in THE EVEN
ING JOURNAL. on Thursday. lie says
somebody else wrote the letter and
signed his name 20 it without his
knowledge This is pretty mean thing
for n person TO do. and the writer may
have some cause 10 remember the incl
dent before 81 Is closed. Mr.. Nugent
has sent the foilowirg letter:
Sporting Editor EVENING JOUR-
NALL wish you would say In your pa
per for mo that what was in Thursday s
nights paper over my aignature, about
the Lincoln team playing the st. eliza
beth team Is untrue Myself and friends
were talking about the orange ana Lin
coin teams playing and all I said was
that the Orange team could beat the LIN
coin team. DON'T want Mr. Manner
ing TO think I said what was IN me
paper FOR I think the Lincoln team Is
a good team. One OF the men / was
talking to must have been sore On Mr.
MannerinE and used my name. J re.
main respectfully. b. r. Nugent
2ii Firth avenue
Wilmington, Del. Dec g. 1908.
Evening journal., 1908-12-05
FOOTBALL "HOT AIR" ENDS TO-DAY;
NO ORANGE-LINCOLN GAME IN SIGHT

OF the letters appended. ono gives tho
Lincoln sido Of the controversy over
whether the Orange and Lincoln teams
should play for the city championship,
and tho other gives the orange side The
latter is written by Manager Josyn OF
the orange team. and the Lincoln side is
penned by a Parkslde follower from his
observations. Ills name is in the possess
sion Of the sporting editor.
There seems TO be no disposition on the
part of the Lincoln team to make terms
with the Orange team for post-season
game, Orange is ready and willing 20 play
now. and Lincoln. which was ready and
willing TO play during the regular sea-
son. is unwilling now To-day's letters
VIII end the "hot air. on the subject So
far as these columns are concerned. uu-
less there should crop up next week a
definite plan for playing the game The
letters on the subject are:
Sporting Editor THE EVENING
JOURNAL: Just q few words more
about this toutel Orange and Lincoln,
game, which / hope viii close the denl
so far as the newspapers are con
cerncd
In justice 10 those interested. feel
Obliged 10 state this situation as IL
was and as Il new is
In the first place the Lincoln man
agement have refused absolutely TO ac
eept my public challenge of Novem-
ber 25th despite this open challenge Of
November 3rd.
MY first formal meeting with Mr.
Mannering was on Monday or Tuesda,
evening, November Oh or 10th. It
was decided at Mr.. Mannerlngs sug
gestion that an the details pertaining
10 n Lincoln-Orange game should ne
settled az this meeting Of Wednes lay
November 18th. Mr. Manncring fail.
ed TO keep his appointment of the c3rd
and incidentally 10 back his challenge
OF November Bird. I attributed failure to
keep this appointment to matters per-
taining to the parkside game, ana il
was not until "A week afterwards that
my open challenge. which seemed H..
be the only step left. TO play Line OH
was published We heard nothing
from this, ana we even went so far AS
to have seen ON Sunday last Mr.. Hans
bury, the advertised coach of the Lin
coin team IN an onicavor to obtain his
help In arranging this game This help
came without coaNing. hut it seemed
TO he OF no avail. ana on the Monday
following Mr. Saylor ana myself cnlleA
on Mr.. Mannerlng in further cndeavors
10 arrange. Mr.. Manner.ng promised
TO give us a definite answer on thu
Tuesday following
Messrs. Mannering, Mcdaniel ana
Saylor ana myself constituted the com.
mittca Of Tuesday evening
/ | repeated my statement to play
/ Lincoln for $3.50 side ana all gat,
Evening journal., 1908-12-05
ASHENBACH
IN ALTOONA
Promises Fans There a Good
Team For Next
Season

ALTOONA. Dec Eddie Ashenbach.
who will be the manager. OF the Altoona
Tri-State League baseball team during
the season OF 1909. has arrived in this city
the ostensible object Of his visit being to
confer with the board of directors Of the
Altoona club preparatory to attending
a meeting of the National commission in
New York next week
Manager Ashenbach declared that he
had the local institution well in hand
and would not be ashamed Of the team
that would represent this city during the
forthcoming season. While he never
makes a promise of great things. he is
more than satisfied with the outlook.
winning pennants when the mercury
is bobblng about the zero point is one
thing. and winning them when iced tea is
none to cool are two separate and dis
tlnct, propositions" he said. Ibid you
ever notice that as rule the pennants
that arc won before Christmas never stay
won after the bluebird has whistled his
pleasing layf
''rhe best ! can promise is that we in
tend to hustle all we can for all the
glory that is in sight While 1 am not
prepared to indicate what the probable
personnel Of the team will be, there need
be no fear on this point There is still
plenty of time for this consideration We
have lines out for men whom we believe
win give excellent service aud when the
proper time comes we will close up those
which we deem most advantageous"
Evening journal., 1908-12-05
HISTORIC FLAG
WILL BE PRESERVED
BY STATE SOCIETY
NEW YORK. ID,

The fag Carried through the Civi.
War and used as the headquarters iiag
of the second Brigade. Third Division.
Second Army Cops, was last night for
mally presented TO the Historical So.
ciety Of Delaware in the building Of
the society, Tenth and Market
streets.
The fa- hos f--. p, possession OF
the society, but had never been for
mally presented. Benjamin D. Bogia.
president Of the First Delaware Asso-
ciation made the presentation and ad-
dress
Originally the neg was carried
through the war at the head OF the
brigade and figured at Fredericksburg
under General Hancock. also az Antie-
tam. and City Point.
The flag was brought back TO Della
ware by Colonel Samuel a. NIcAllister.
who FOR several years during the latter
seventies was city solicitor IN this city.
AT that time Colonel NIcAllister. then
a private. was near headquarters when
Colonel Smyth was wounded at Say
lor's creek and died two days later.
The fiag was brought to this city and
placed in charge Of DUPONT Post. No.
?, 9. a. r. II was placed there by Mr..
Bogia, and II remained IN his pos
session as president OF the First Deia-
ware Society until it was repaired
among the archives OF the Historical
Society.
Evening journal., 1908-12-05
DATES FOR BIG
BALL MEETINGS

One OF the most important winter
sessions known to baseball will begin
in New York on Saturday next and
continue throughout next week
Quiet as things appear at present.
there will be considerable doings"
when the moguls get together.
The meetings arranged are as fol-
lows:
Saturday December Injecting Of
Eastern League and American Associ-
alton at Victoria Hotel
Sunday, December 6-COntinucd
meeting of Eastern League and Ameri-
can Association at Victoria Hotel.
Monday. December Meeting of
National Baseball Commission.
Tuesday. December 8 (noon)-Meet-
ing Of National League Beard of Di-
rectors. at office of President Pulliam.
. p. m.-Meeting of National League
at Waldorf Astoria Hotel.
Wednesday. December 9-Meeting Of
American League Board of Directors In
morning meeting Of league at Vol
colt Hotel at p. m.
Thursday. December 10 (probably)-
Meeting OF National Association OF
Baseball Writers.
Evening journal., 1908-12-05
MeIoome visI,or d city.

J. NJ. Emerson proprietor Of the Anso-
MIA, Conn, Evening Sentinel. one Of the
brightest and best newspapers OF Con-
necticut is visiting friends IN this city and
was welcome visitor at THE EVENING
JOURNAL office the other day. Mr. Em-
erson was much interested i'm THE JOUR
NAILS new press and other equipment
and congratulated THE JOURNAL upon
the progress &c is making. Mr.. Emerson
Is a native OF Caroline county. Maryland
and in his earlier life was engaged I'm the
newspaper business this city. The Sem
tinel was purchased by lIr. Emerson in
1876 and was converted into a daily in
1884 Its career has been very suocs SIS
full Mr.. Emerson looks like a man much
younger than lie really is. He knows the
newspaper business thoroughly and is
always ready TO give his fellow editors
the benefit of his wide experience. Mr..
Emerson has lost none OF his love for
Wilmington or the peninsula and keeps
constantly in touch with affairs here.