Sharp County record., 1908-02-14
THE SPINSTER And
THE BACHELOR
AN ARGUMENT OVER the
ETERNAL FEMININE

Bundles Of contradiction, that's
what you are, every fathers daughter
of you," muttered the Bachelor. THE
poets speak Of you as wise and wom-
anly, serene and calm, minlstering
angels, and all the rest of It, but you
aren't-you are just lncomprehensible
women. You say mo- when you mean
'yes;' you can't count except on your
fingers; you speak Of everything you
possess from a paper of pins to box
of bonds as your things and you
always sit on the floor to put on your
shoes and stockings. Deny 1t If you
can"
'T deny nothing" answered the
Spinster. 'If did | should be deny
ing what goes to make for charm in
my sex. If we were not Incompetent
sible, and bundles Of contradiction, as
you call us; If we were plain and
straight and uneventful as road
without turning, you--all of YOU
would find nothing in us to speculate
about You can lose yourself IN
maze; you can't get lost on a straight
road"
ALSO you use old when you want
to say DAMN" went on the Bachelor
imperturbably, as though he had not
been interrupted. "Horrid old thing,
she's copied my spring hiatt How
often I've heard that remark bubble
from angelic lips in fury of rage.
And This old dress is q sight, and
never did like that old rug, anyway
Why don't you come out and say what
you really mean?"
Because we never really mean it,"
said the Spinster wisely, mo woman
ever really means damn Old ex-
presses much more to her because
women have such contempt for most
old things. Besides what's the use
Of getting into white heat over in
animate things as men do? I've lost
my collar button scores Of times, had
1t roll under bureau and chairs and
couches, and had to plump down on
all fours and crawl around after 1t,
but it has never yet made me swear
and kick the furniture about,
81 love man who loses his tenn
per on occasions, and have con-
tempt for man who doesn't. But
surely lost collar button isn't an oc-
casion.
"Once l remember bicycling along
very dark road with two men. We
were riding Indian file because only
one Of us had lantern. We were
going at clipping pace and sudden
ly, without warning, we smashed
into tollgate pole which the keeper
had let down and forgotten to put q
light on. It was terrific crash. One
Of the wheels was completely demol-
ished and we were all more or less
bruised. AS we picked ourselves up
from the debris / looked from one
man to another, Besides an anxiety
to know II l was hurt there wasn't q
sound, and presently exploded.
Won't somebody swear?' said fu.
riously."
did they?' asked the Bachelor,
smiling.
"They did not" answered the Spin.
ster. "Yet they were just the men
who would have turned the air blue
over lost collar button. Incompre-
hensibe woman, indeed! 1t Is man
who is the incomprehensib creature.
"All women are alike, AT least you
can count on the unexpected from
them. But men are entirely different.
When you expect man to be furious.
ly angry you look up and catch him
hiding smile. You look for the
SMILE and he Is swearing, with the
veins standing out on his forehead,
He may not add on his fingers, he may
say yes when he means yes, but you
cannot count on his moods and tenn.
pers for FIVE consecutive minutes"
"That is because man 10 usually
n law unto himself" answered tho
Bachelor loftlly,
"And women are not?" queried the
spinster with tho air Of one who
wished to learn
"And women are not" repeated the
Bachelor imperturbably "You SEQ,
women are excessively self.eonsclous,
They are always wondering what other
women would do In like olroum.
stances, They are rarely willing to
establish precedents or even TO follow
tholr own inclnations In conventional
matters and almost everything 10 q
conventional matter TO q woman,
Now, YOU see, you thought those
men should swear because you con.
sidered that, oonventionaily, II was
the correct thing to do, You never
stopped to argue with yourself that
II would have been rather blaokguard.
ly for them to string out oaths IN
your presence, no matter how many
were churnod UP in their minds, |
think II not only showed very prop.
or respect for you, but remarkably
good solf,eontrol,"
Nonsense" said tho spinster sharp.
ly, 1T was one time when | would
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