davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03
JUST FOR FUN.
The Rub.

N.Y." exclaimed little Billy, ms he
gazed at tho lithograph, "fd like to
he giraffe. Just think how easily
YOU could rubber over tho baseball
fence"
That's all right replied Tommy,
but there is another time when YOU
wouldn't want To have neck like a
giraffe"
when Is that"
why. in the morning when your
ma begins to scrub your neck with
soap and water Chicago News
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03
The Fnssy BACHELOR.

Yes" said the proud mother. Eve
are going to name the baby Theo-
dore, but we feel confident he will
make a name for himself before he
Is rs"
have two or three aliases by that
time. "--Chicago News.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03
a nemonslrntcd Theory.

Father" said little Rollo, lis 1T
true that riches do not bring happi-
ness? ?"
Quite true, my son. II you doubt
1t observe how much more the peo-
pie In the bleachers seem to enjoy
themselves than those in the grand
stand. washington Star.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03
First Aid to Nature.

Tourist-Looks like pretty good
soil around here
Native-l reckon faint so worse.
Tourist--What crops do the farm
ers grow in this section?
Native-That all depends, stran-
ger.
Tourist--Depcnds on what?
Native--On what sort NV seed they
puts in an the weather.--Chicago
News.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

garden parties, theater performances
and public fireworks.
The writer makes these suggestions;
let us, ON this day forget the noise
OF battle and the passions OF interna-
tional strife, and remember only tho
wonderful spirit OF sacrifice, and pa
triotsm, and brotherhood which anil
mated our Revolutionary heroes. Let
US. who know what tho day means, on
deavor TO mako Il both memorable and
Illuminating to those who do not by
opening the hearts of the children, of
the poor and ignorant, Of the distressed
and disheartenod alien within our
gateg. 10 at least a partial significance
OF what we honor In our glorious festi-
val.
Let us enter personally into the
work. giving tender endeavor as we'll
as means 10 tho task OF making the
occasion the happiest OF all tho year
to tho ignorant and the wretchcd. Lot
US give them day OF liberty In the
country or In the parks, where they will
see our beautiful flag floating every
whore about them, aud where their UNI
trained ears will become accustomed To
the ringing rhythm OF our national
melodies. Let us give them nementos
OF the Fourth, such as flags and pic
tureC ~ our heroes and Of those whom
we love a. well is honor. There let
them listen TO the story of the birth of
our Republic, and have it told simply
and. IL necessary in their own tongues,
so that an can feel how great were
those who made the country free. and
how wonderful is the boon of liberty
now extended 20 the oppressed of other
countries"
All, except hoodums. possibly, will
admit that celebration consisting of
oratory, music, PROFESSIONS dramatic
performances, etc, would give infinitely
more pleasure and be more appropriate
to the day,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03
Secret of Norah's success.

Mistress (astounded)--Y can't
read. Norah? Good gracious How
did you ever learn to cook so well
New Cook--Shore. mum, OF lay It
t. not bein' able to rade tn cookery
books.-Philadelphia Inquirer.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03
Spurred by Hunger.

81 suppose you get Your inspira-
ton from the soldiers, the sculptors,
the great men OF life?"
We'll, no." answered the truthful
bard or near-poet. THE butcher
furnishes most OF mine. "--Exchange
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

They met on the bleachers.
"I thought you got off to go to a
funeral" sneered the boss.
We'll, what do you call this?'' de-
manded the bookkeeper, as three
more visitors scored on errors by the
home team.--Louisville Courier Jour
nal
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

The New York Times says that Mat
teawan is full of intellectual men. A
statement that does not show any par
aicular intellectually.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

Brazil denies the ruInor that she is
building warships for Japan. win
Captain Richard Pearson Hobson ac-
cept the denial in good faith?
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

Mr.. Taft is to be notified of his nom
ination on July rs. Such being the
case he will be precluded from saying,
This Is so student"
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

A New Jersey woman dreamed. she
was going to die. and then wept bitter
ly because her dream failed to come
true. Isn't that just like some women?
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

1t is said that Mr.. Bryan Will not
straddle the multiplication plank. a
wise decision, as such planks are usu-
ally two edged
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

Mr. Taft is going to Hot Springs,
Va, for the summer. Wherever he
may go he will find that it is hot
eampaign.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

Hang the starry banner out tomor-
row. But do not leave it hanging out
over night Flag etiquette forbids that.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

Riches are beset with dangers; and
that few people have to face them.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

Being living issue, the Denver anti
injunction plank will not be made out
Of dead timber but probably of live
oak.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

is crying, like Shylock, Il want my
bond
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

Physicians are advocating the silence
cure, Tho less said about such n
cure the better.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

The per capita circulation has drop
ped cents. Did it drop it in a slot ma
chine?
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

An ounce of silence is worth pound
of hot air,
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

AT Sycamore Hill Mr.. Roosevelt is
making hay while the sun shines. For
him the sun has shone almost all his
life.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

See to it that the patriotic little boys
bring all their fingers home tomorrow
night.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

Towne is after the vice presidential
nomination but 1t may go to the coun-
try.
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

The uprising In Mexico seems to
have come to d sudden setting
Deseret evening news. [volume] (Great Salt Lake City [Utah]) 1867-1920, 1908-07-03

just now all roads lead to ponver.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
apple Trees Are Long Livers.

How can an apple tree growf l
have few of the trees planted by
Sconodoah, the ONEIDA chief, with
Dominic Kirkland, the missionary,
in 1791. These trees, now consid-i
erably over one hundred years of age,
still hear an abundance of fruit. The
wood is in good condition, notwith-
standing many years of neglect. The
average age of an. orchard, as gen-
orally planted and cared for, rarely
exceeds fifty years, I am inclined to
think that the more sturdy sorts can
be made to exceed one hundred and
fifty years. In order to attain any
such age there must be selection Ct
varieties, and they must be grated
high up on tough stock. Our fathers
apple trees were grated in the tops;
but the apples planted in these days
are grated in the roots. However,
one must not cling too long to an old
tree. I love any fine old tree, espe-
cially an apple tree, but when be
yond usefulness, it is sin to let it
cumber the ground. Jesus laid down
a great horticultural law when he
cursed the barren fig tree, ii. e., coa-
demned it to being cut DOWN. There
is no room for second-rate stuff in the
orchard.-E. P. Powell in The Outing
Magazine for October.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
NO GUsEER
But Tells Facts About Postum.

1--WE have used Postum for the
past eight years." writes Wis. lady,
:. land drink it three times day. We
Spever tire Of 1t. - !
: For several years l could scarcely
eat anything on account of dyspepsia,
bloating after meals, palpitation. sick
headache facs was in such misery
and distress tried living on hot wat
.er and toast for nearly year.
.si,sT had quit coffee, the cause Of my
trouble, and was using hot water, but
: this was not nourishing.
i Hearing of Postum began drink
ing it and my ailments disappeared,
and now l can eat anything want
without trouble.
"My parents and husband had
about the same experience. Mother
would often suffer after eating, while
yet drinking coffee. My husband was
great coffee drinkers and suffered
from indigestion and headache.
"After he stopped coffee and began
Postum both ailments left him. He
will not drink anything else, now, and
we have 1t three times day: could
write more, but am no gnsher-only
state plain facts"
Name given by Postum Co., Battle
Creek, Mich. Read "The Road to
Wellville." in pkgs. There's Rea-
son."
Ever read the above letter? A new
one appears from time to time. They
are genuine, true, and full of humas
Interest.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
Who Can Foreteu?

And who can foretell what fashions
for women are yet to come? At pres
ent the tendency is toward as few
garments as possible (although this
does not in any way diminish the
cost Of woman's clothes). The lin
gerie waist has become a mere cod-
web; skirts grow more abbreviated
every day. There is said to be a new
silk underskirt which will admit Of
being drawn through a fine ring:
Hosiery is thinnest lace, and ladies
shoes are pumps OF such narrow
margin as to scarce conceal their
rosy toes. The oldest inhabitants do
say the climate is changing, and that
we never have such cold winters as
we used to-ffty years ago. Are
these things to be taken in conjunc-
tion, and are women gradually evolv-
ing toward that form of dress which
obtained in pristine Eden?-From
edo Women Dress to Please the
Menu" by Louise Cass Evans, i'll
The Bohemian Magazine for October.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07

gradually rots down. Or; Miss
Brown, the teacher, boards with the
Smiths; the Joneses feel neglected,
and begin to whisper it about that
the teacher cannot solve Sallie Jones
problems or parse Sallie's sentences;
the Smiths retaliate by asserting that
the teacher is able to teach the whole
Jones family; result-the anti-Smith
factions children are taught next
session by Miss Sallie Jones herself.
Once more, Mr.. Brown, with much
religious devotion to his church
creed, demands that. the new teach
er shall he an X-ist; Perkins Y-ism
at once begins to ferment while
Stubs declares that Z-ianism has
been outraged, since there has not
been a X-ian teacher in the school
in five years. When the new teach
er comes, is he to teach X-ist doc
trine, Y-ist doctrine, Z-ian doctrine,
or should he be a simple God-fearing
man whose daily life will be re-
buke to these clamorous Pharisees?
All this may sound like satire, but
it is mask rehearsal Of a play where
the curtain never falls. Cannot some
neighborhoods see themselves in the
play7
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
Miscellaneous.

Leslie Carter, former husband OF
the actress died in Chicago after a
long illness.
James J. Hill and Professor Nc
Laghlin, in addresses before the Ne
braska bankers, antagonized the bank
deposit guaranty plan.
Thos. j. Swami, Of Baltimore, was
elected class president by the fresh
men at Princeton.
Five members of the failed stock
brokerage firm of A. o. Brown q Co.,
of New York, were arrested on
charges of grand larceny, and a sixth
who is in a hospital, was required to
give bail.
Twenty persons were killed and o
score badly hurt on the Northern Pa
cifc railroad, in Montana, in col,
lision between passenger train cno
freight train.
AS a step toward getting larry &
Thaw out of New York to Pittshure
he was declared in contempt of court
by Judge Archibald, of Scranton IA
Gov. C. N. Haskell called Roosevelt
o rascal and "four-housher" and de-
c1ared he would not resign as treasur
er Of The Democratic National Com
mittec.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
Insignificant Work.

Big men do big things, but how
many big things are big failures. The
biggest ship that ever was built was
no profit to anybody until it was sold
and broken up for old junk. Many
a little ship during the same time
had made good voyages, and brought
profit to its owner. A man writes
big book; he is a great man, but
few people ever read his book, yet
it is learned and bulky, and perpetu-
ates the mans fame through genera
tions. Another man writes a little
letter, a pamphlet, an epistle, which
can be read in an hour, carried in the
pocket, copied in little while, sent
through the mails, or printed on a
few pages, and that little pamphlet
is translated into hundreds Of Ian
guages, scattered by millions in ev-
cry quarter of the globe.
Paul, chained to a soldier in his
hired house at Rome, wrote no big
books. A dozen pages would contain
the largest tratise he ever wrote, and
vet the thoughts there embodied and
the truths there declared, live
through all ages and go to the ends
of the earth. A seed is little thing
but in it there is the promise Of a
waving harvest through all the years
to comes A granite monument is a
great thing, but it has no advance
ment, no promise, no growth.
Let the man who does little things
wait on God, who can make little
things great, and accomplish his own
purpose of grace and goodness, work
ing wonders by means of the feeblest
instruments through his matchless
wisdom and his powerful love-
Christian.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
Miss OR Mr.2

"Fighting Bob" Evans, during lis
last stay in Washington, was one
evening guest at house where he
met a number of the younger set of
the Capital. As the admiral was
leaving, he chanced to pick up from
the floor a very dainty handkerchief,
edged with lace. He was gravely in
specting this "trife light as air, -
when rather effeminate-looking
young man hastened forward to claim
it. "Your sisters, no doubt" said
the admiral as he handed it over.
con, no." said the young man; otis
mine" Evans scrutinized the young
man closely. "Would you mind tell
ing me what size hair-pins you use?"
he asked after a pause.-0ctober Lip
pencott's.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
The South.

Six hazers at Guilford College, N.
c., were tried before a magistrate
and fined.
Night riders have recently posted
notice on a cotton gin near Ander-
son, S. C.
Congressman Carter Glass says the
Virginia depository law is infamy.
About 100000 more will be needed
to complete the Appomattox river di-
version project.
Booker T. Washington made an ad-
dress at the Roanoke Fair and urged
negroes to stay on the farm.
More than score Of persons were
seriously hurt by the collapse of a
spectators stand at the Roanoke
Fair.
Cases against rioters who tried to
break into Portsmouth jail in order
to lynch negro assailant, were drop
ped.
Blaine Elbins was served with o
summons to appear in court to an
swer the breach-of-promise charge FL
ed by Miss Louise Lonsdale.
Mr.. James W. Paul, of Philadel.
phia, died suddenly Of cerebral hem
orrhages at the Homestead Hotel.
Hot Springs.
But very little cotton is being sold
in the South just now. 1t seems chat
the farmers generally are inclined to
want the price to go higher. Quite a
lot is being stored in the warehouse
here.
Ex-senator McLaurin, of South
Carolina, in a signed statement, ac-
knowledges his relations with the
Standard Oil Company as charged by
William R. Hearst and says there was
no impropriety in his conduct as he
views the matter.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
The Wheat Field.

Take look at the wheat field that
has been brought up to perfection,
as it stands. Yellow as gold, with the
sheen of the sea, billowing from sky
line to skyline like an ocean of gold,
where the wind touches the ripping
wave crests with. the tread of invisi-
bic feet. In California, in Oregon,
in Washington, in Dakota, in the Ca
madam Northwest, you may ride all
day on horseback through the wheat
fields without break in the flow Of
yellow heavy-headed grain. No fence
lines. No meadow lands. No shade
trees. No knobs and knolls and hills
and hollows of grass or black earth
through. From dawn till dark, from
sunrise in burst of fiery splendor
over the prairie horizon to sundown
when the crimson thing hangs like u
huge shield of blood in the haze OF
heat twilight-you may ride with
naught to break the view between you
and the horizon but wheat-wheat.
1t is like the gold fields. 1t goes to
Your head. You grow dizzy looking
at it. You rub your eyes. Is it a
mirage? Billowing yellow waves
seem to be breasting the very sky.
You look up. The sky is there all
right with the black mote of mead
ow lark sailing the azure sea. He
drops liquid notes Of sheer mellow
music down on your head, does that
meadow lark and that gives you back
YOUR perspective, your sense of amaz-
ing reality. You are literally, abb
solutely, really, in the midst Of q
sea of living gold. 1t is won 'ud not
the lark that is the mote. You begin
to feel as if your special mote might
be a beam that would get lost in IN
fnity if You staid there long; and
so you ride on-and on-and some
more on-and by and bye come out of
the league-long, fenceless fields with
an odor in your nostrils that ism t
exactly like incense-it's too fugitive,
FOO fine, too sublimal of earth. 1t is
aromatic, sort of altar Of roses,
the imprisoned fragrance of the bill
lions upon billions of wheat flowers
shut up in the glumes of the heavy
headed grain there. And that's the
odor of the wheat-From "Harvest-
ing the Wheat" by Agnes C. Laut
in The Outing Magazine for October.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
Haskell Will Sue Hearst.

Kansas City, Mo-, Special.-A spe-
cial to The Times from Guthrie,
Okla, says: Governor C. N. Haskell
is preparing to bring suit in the next
few days against William R. Hearst,
because of the latter's charges con-
cerning Governor Haskell's alleged
connection with an attempt to bribe
Frank S. Monnett for the Standard
Oil Company. The suit will be brought
in Missouri, probably in Kansas City.
Fl. C. Simrall. of Mexico, Mo-, is here
as attorney for Governor Haskell,
preparing the petition.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
THE news IN BRIEF
Items of interest Gathered B,
Wire and Cable
GLEANINGS FROM DAY TO DAY
Live Items Covering Events of More
or Less Interest at Home and
Abroad.
National Affairs.

Samuel Gompers asserts that an at
tempt was made to bribc him for a
large sum to desert the cause of IN
ion labor.
On the 9O-mile test ride into Virgi-
MIA Major George G. Bailey was
thrown from his horse at Falls church
and his ankle sprained.
The Ordinance Bureau of the army
has devised new projectile and high
power powder that is expected to sur
pass any now in use in the world.
DR.. Carvild CALICO of Madrid, ply
sician to the King of Spain and dele
gate to the tuberculosis Congress,
was thrown from Washington street
car and injured.
Southern doctors state that tuber-
culosis which is now the curse of the
colored race, was almost unknown
among the negroes before they were
freed.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

bylocalsppcations as theySsnnot reaGh anih tho
wayto cure deafness, and that is by consti-
tutional remedies. Deafness is caused by an
in1amed condition Of the ,nucous lining OF
the Eustachian Tube. When this tubeis in.
famed you have rumbEng sound orimper-.
feet hearing, and when 1t is entirely closed
Deafness is the result, and unless the infam"
nation can be taken out and this tube re.
stored to its normal condition, hearing Will
bedestroyed forever. Nine cases ont OF ter
arecaused bycatarrh, which is nothingbutar
inhamed condition Of the mucous surfaces
We will give One Hundred Dollars for any
case deafness Caused bycatarrh) that can
not be curedby Halls Catarrh Cure. Send for
circulars free. FL. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
Senator Bailey Denies Report.

New York, Special.-United States
Senator Joseph ". Bailey, Of Texas,
who is in the city with Mrs. Bailey
and their two sons, said relative to
statements emanating from Calves
ton to the effect that he intends to re-
sigu from the Senate and take up
practice of law in this city or in
Washington: "These statements are
pure inventions and perfectly absurd.
/ have no intention Of res'gain2
ricm tie Senate or ending mg career
therein. ~
Edgefield advertiser. [volume] (Edgefield, S.C.) 1836-current, 1908-10-07
Psrt5Paragraphs..

>
~ Notice that most Of he men who
are stading pat have comfortable
seatss -:
Failure in laudable attempt. is far
from being a'thing to be ashamed Of
-Reade.
When you are dealing with a mule
it is wise to see to it that said mule
has no kick coming.
If you expect to have. to borrow
money, better borrow it before you
need it; it is easier to do so.
When we get home and take stock
of our chggers, blisters, burns and
bills we are inclined to be-. glad to
think it is over.
Queer that your next door neighbor
should think you are mean, inter-
fering wretch when you tell her that
little Johnnie has fire under the
front porch.
The man who tells secret to wo-
man isn't foolish, but just diplomatic
and crafty. 1t is,his way of announc-
ing it to the world.
Lots Of girls are as mild as milk
and as sweet as honey and still they
may have the tabasco sauce up their
sleeve.
Many hobo would make a good
Emperor, but the distressing thing
about it is that there is more caA-for
harvest hands in this country than
for emperors.
ssome men," said Uncle Eben,
Cant satisfied to quit when dey's
done bought a gold brick, but keeps
payin' storage on it an holdir' it
fur rise. Washington Star.
-