davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
MATTER FOR THE SCIENTISTS.
Theory as to Whether We Live Inside
or Outside Earth.

There are a number of believers in
the theory that we are living inside
the earth instead of outside. These
unpleasant people want us to admit
that we are surrounded by shell like
huge nut Just what good 1t win do
us to admit this isn't clear. About the
only benefit to be derived from the in
formation, as far as we can see at
present is the possibility that the bal
loonists may prepare themselves for
q hard bump against the inner side
Of the shell II they ever go up too
high.
We are also told that the accepta-
ton Of this kernel in the nut theory
will explain many things-none OF
which we remember.
1t will also upset a great many
things with which we are familiar and
which, on the whole, we like pretty
well.
This leads US to remark that we pre-
fer to believe we are outs. At the
same time IL the inside facts are con-
vincing we are open to conviction
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
An Overvaunted Virtue.

8. I. Kimball. general superintendent
Of the life saving service. said of an
applicant for a certain post:
"The man was recommended for his
steadiness. Now steadiness is a virtue,
especially in life saving, that goes
none too far. Whenever think of it
I think of an old lady used to know.
MRS. Madden gentleman once
said to this old lady, your neighbor,
Herbert Bisbing, has applied to me
for work. Is he steady?
Mrs. Madden threw up her hands.
Steady, is IT.? she said Sure, If he
was any steadier he'd be dead"
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
FLATTERY NOT IN HIS LINE
Where Mr.. spooner Lost Out for Ever
with Miss Flutterby.

That's a portrait of your grand
mother, as she looked when she was a
young lady, Is 1t How strongly it re-
sembles you, Miss Flutterby."
you say that only to flatter me, Mr..
Spooner. Grandma was quite beauty
and everybody kaows that | make no
pretensions of that kind"
II assure you that fattery is far
from my thought, Miss Flutterby. The
family resemblance is striking. I've
often known cases of that kind. There
were two sisters was acquainted
with when / was a boy. They looked
wonderfully alike, just as that portrait
looks like you, and yet one Of them
was as beautiful as poets dream
and the other was dreadfully-that Is,
/ mean, she wasn't at all-or rather
she was lacking In that-attractive
quality. you know, that constitutes
what lovely frame this portrait has,
hasn't it?"-Illustrated Sunday Maya.
zine.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
Doinq Chores.

To dig ones own potatoes, to
shock ones own corn, to pick ones
own apples, to pie ones own squashes
at ones own barn! II Is like filling
ones system with an antitoxin before
going into fever-plagued country.
One is immune to winter after this,
provided he stays to bake his apples
In his own wood fire. One works him
self into a glow with all his digging.
and picking and piling that lasts until
warm weather comes again; and along
with this harvest glow comes stealing
over him the after-harvest peace. 1t
h the serenity Of Indian summer. the
mood Of the after-harvest season,
upon him--upon him and his fields
aud woods.-Dallas Lore Sharp, In
Atlantic.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
Keen Girls Younu,

ut Is hard to take a back seat and
see the younger generation occupying
the front ones" says millionaire's
widow, who Is not through being
youthful, though she has two grown
up daughters. She admires the fine
restraint which wealthy French moth
ers exercise over the dressing of their
young daughters, and she wishes more
Of this maternal mastery could be seen
In this country Until she is mar
ried, II that event takes place when
she Is young" says the widow, ia
jeune file Is dressed almost as II she
were a schoolroom child. Surprising
she remains unwed at 81, she is still
dressed after a uniform plan, so that
her mother may continue to dress
youthfully yet have toilets entirely
different in style from her daugh-
ter Exchange.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
Fair Warnlnu.

John, dear" said Mrs. Wedderly,
rs it true that the average woman
has no sense Of humor?"
That's about the size Of it," replied
her husband
But the average man's-yours. for
examples pretty well developed,
isn't III" continued her husbands
wife.
"Oh, yes" answered the unsuspect-
ing other half Of the combine, mine
Is all right"
We'll, I'm glad Of IT," said Mrs.
W, AS ! have treat in store for
you. Next week am going to ask you
for new sealskin sack and l want
you to laugh and feel jolly. just as
you do when you read Of such things"
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
THIS PENAL COLONY A MODEL
Brazil Seems to Have Solved One Of
Civilizations Problems.

The penal colony Of the state or
Pernambuco, Brazil, Is on an island
300 miles off the coast. There are 600
convicts at present They arise at 6
a IN. and work till p. m. for the state
cultivating cotton Of superfine quail
ty After two o'clock they work for
themselves. The island is one of the
most orderly and productive bits OF
soil in Brazil. II is model convict
colony and the cheapest run of any in
the world.
The group of islands to which the
penal one belongs is where the equa'
torial and south equatorial currents
divide, and II is surrounded by tri.
angular sheet Of quiet sea, full OF all
kinds of fish, valuable commercially
AS convict labor may be had at ten
cents day there is opportunity for
fine fishing concessions there. 1t is
regarded as first-cass location for a
coaling station. The islands also have
valuable phosphate deposits.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
Letter Wrltinu.

Writing interesting letters doesn't
come natural TO me, and there are a
good many people with whom | must
keep in touch through letters, If at
all. So | have got into the way Of
keeping a notebook and jotting down
in It brief notes to remind me OF little
bits OF news that will specially inter-
est my different correspondents. I
even jot down little joke sometimes,
says Home Chat Then, when spare
time comes to write my letters my
notes are ready to hand, and the In.
teresting scraps of news don't go fly.
ing away directly put my pen to pa
per, as they used to do. Everybody
tells me my letters are much more in
teresting than they used to be, II
70, that Is the secret.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
When Learning Is Jocular.

The Yale students attitude toward
the faculty, though jocular, Is not an
tagonistic. and as a rule the Record
laughs with the professor at his I'M
fortunate pupil, as instance:
Dycut Funker-But / do not think
deserve an absolute zero.
Professionalism do l. but that Is
the lowest mark am allowed to give
Among the stage settings of the
campus the lunch-rooms, called dog
wagons" because of their remarkable
output OF bologna sandwiches, or hot
dogs" are well patronised and con-
tribute their share of fun,
Shay, Jack, come on over and have
q dog"
Mop, | just had a rabbit"
Well, shen, come ON over and have
dog for a chaser. The Bohemian.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
THIS CEMENT WALL A NOVELTY.
Action Of Nature Has Given II Dis
tinct Artistic Value.

There is a wall OF cement In Los
Angeles which shores up one side OF
a building lot that has an artistic
value never intended by the builder.
He had moved his bags of cement
ON to the ground TO be ready for work
and was then called away on some
other job for day or two. In the
meantime one Of the very infrequent
rains came on and each sack turned
into stone under the action Of the wa.
ter and the fabric of the sacks them
selves were absorbed into the cement
so that it was impossible to remove it.
Consequently each sack was wrought
into the wall as II It had been a boul.
der on the line Of an old stone wall
They were then chinked and bound
together with worked cement and
after a time the weather disposed OF
the gunny sacking, but left the blocks
marked with the impress of the weave.
The result is a highly ornamental
cement wall, resembling at little dis
lance wall Of some woven material.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
Advertising for One Penny.

Jabez Alvord. an old and highly re-
spected resident Of Winsted, Conn, Is
advertising as lost pocketbook con-
tanning a penny, and offers to pay
liberal reward for It's return. The
penny bears the date OF 1918. and to
Mr.. Alvord It is almost invaluable 1t
was given to him by the family doc
tor when he was child In dresses.
For safe keeping he put 1t In a
crack in the house, and 1t fell down
between the partitions. When the
old house was torn down two years
ago Mr.. Alvord found it, after it had
been lost more than 65 years. Now it
is lost again.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
Anent Wisdom,

It hath been said that wise men
say nothing in dangerous times" and
Swift, the greatest of English satir-
lists, with provision, remarked that
wisdom is a hen, whose cackling we
must value and consider because 1t is
attended with an egg, but then, lastly,
It Is . nut which, unless you choose
with judgment, may cost you tooth
and pay you with nothing but
worm"
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
All That Was Necessary.

A man who bored all his friends
with his incessant talking prided him
self on being able to hypnotic people.
One day while asserting this and per-
ceiving signs of incredulity on his
friends faces he turned to one OF them
and said:
'In order to prove it to you I will
make you go to sleep If you like
Certainly" replied the friend you
have only to speak"
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
Air Purified hY Curtains.

Dr. J. Brown, the medical officer of
health Of Bacup has drawn attention
to the usefulness OF muslin curtains
in filtering the air of rooms, says the
London Globe.
The amount of solid air removed
from the air by muslin window cur
tains has surprised him. AS he says,
they are cheap aud easily washed, and
should be changed frequently, One
condition he advocates but does not
insist on is that they should not be
dressed or ironed
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
Heredity.

Caller-Your little boy looks exactly
like you.
Youngsters Mother-Yes; but II he
doesn't get his meals just when he
wants them he puts up exactly the
same kind of face his father does.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
Somethlna Spontan eous.

"Jokesmith seems strung up to .
high nervous tension"
Yes, he's trying to grind out few
seemingly spontaneous paragraphs"
'Humph. From appearances the re-
suit seems more likely to be spontane-
Gus combustion"
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
The Proper Term,

Knox-You and DR.. Jones are part
ners, are you not?
DR.. Smith-Oh, no. We often con-
suit together and attend to each 9TH
er's patients in case of absence, but
we are In no sense partners.
KNOX, see. He Is what might be
termed your accomplice.-Chicago
News.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
Their Point Of View.

Don't you think" asked one sheep
in the flock of another, that It IL ali
surd for humans to be cutting off our
wool In the way they do?"
Il should say so" answered the
other. Il call ii shear nonsense"
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
SMALL CHICKEN FARM $1,000

Located 10 minutes walk from Coop
ers mill, good room house painted
white; 21s acres Of land, cuts tons
of hay; barn tor COW and horse; wag-
on shed, hen house, several apple,
pear, plum and cherry trees, currants,
etc.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21
JOHN NASH.
COTTAGE sl1OO

rooms. three minutes from depot,
Bennington; water and sewer connect
ed extra building lot worth $500.
Terms easy.
The Bennington evening banner. (Bennington, Vt.) 19??-1961, 1908-03-21

Rents for S11 per side, modern house
has toilet and bath on each side, near
ly new house in good repair, located on
West Main street; $1,000 can remain
on place.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-11-25

rise to his eyes. Il don't want the
old ring back. | amt got any one
else to give 1t to- So long
He climbed into the tiny road cart.
cracked the whip, and the four ponies
trotted off.
1t was only four miles to Carston-
Vile. where the Blakeley hippodrome.
menagerie and circus lay in winter
quarters, but every revolution of the
little wheels seemed 10 put Sally-and
happiness miles behind
Ted Stevens was circus clown
not very good one, but good enough
for the one ring wagon show he tray
eled with. Last spring he had come
down few weeks before the opening
TO rehearse some bits OF comedy and
he had met Sally Myerly.
She had never seen much Of show
folk, and she was attracted by his
fun as well as by the wholesomeness
of his manner. In the three weeks
they saw each other Ted had won her
heart. Then the show had gone south
to open. 1t WIS midsummer before
tut sioN INNING hhh fpiiic ithih
10 Garstonyille TO show, and that after
noon Ted had done his best because
Sally was watching from the reserved
seats lie had been rather disappoint-
ed at her lukewarm appreciation, but
he did not realize what the matter
was until lie had come back with the
show to go into winter quarters.
To. tatr ls. Hon sr
fered TO help care for the stock instead
of playing at the vaudeville theaters
through the winter, and it was with
happy heart that he took the pony
four-in-hand out for exercise and had
driven over to the Myerly farm.
He had received an enthusiastic vel
come from ten-year-old Dick, but Sally
had been cold. and at last she con
fessed that the sight of him In the
ring had killed her love Her ideas
of romance were CLEANED from cheap
fiction, wherein English lords in dis
guise were more apt to be heroes than
circus clowns. The sight of Ted in
his motley had killed her ideals. ami
she wanted her freedom
For the next couple of weeks he
held to his work, trying In occupation
to find forgetfulness. He had been
rather clever with dogs once, and he
got permission to try his hand at two
OF the ponies, just TO occupy his mind.
but in the long nights, when the ST
lence was broken only by an OCCASION
al cry from the stock barn, he had
plenty of time to think. for sleep came
late to his tired eyes.
The day before Thanksgiving Thorn
as Myerly drew up at the sheds and
climbed down from his seat. Ted saw
him and went out to meet him.
"Sally wants to know II you won't
bring them ponies over" he said.
@Dick liked 'em SO. and the doctor
says that perhaps they'll rouse him.
'I'll see the old man. said Ted. II
guess it'll BE all right, though. They
need a rum"
Permission was easily obtained
when explanation was made, for the
"old man" had youngsters OF his own
and soft spot for children, and pres
emily the gay little team was trotting
down the frozen road.
Dick was brought to the window,
well wrapped up, but he only waved
languid hand at the clown and turn
ed his head away. Ted unhitched them
and put them through their tricks. but
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-11-25
TRAMpS' THANKSGIVING.
How New York,s Hobees Get Their
Holiday Dinners.

How New York's Hobees Get Their
Holiday Dinners.
A great deal depends on the kind of
man who wishes TO take part in the
feasting, wrote the late Josiah Flint
IN Good Housekeeping. a panhan-
Iler from the Bowery will have a
harder time finding his Thanksgiving
dinner than will well dressed hobo
from the west. In general, the pan
haudier has to remain content with
the same simple fare on holidays that
lie is accustomed TO the year through,
The we'll dressed and skilled beggar,
on the ether hand, expects and looks
for dclicacies on fete days. He may
have TO look Il long while before he
to, but the genuine seeker perseveres
until he believes that he has cele-
brated the day as n man of his parts
should
The favor!te procedure for Il great
many roadsters is first to beg for
money with which to buy the mate
rails for feast and then to cook the
iHthi themselves Ut sViut lAupIohlStu
camp or "haugout." This Is the great
delight of number of western tramps.
Some days before the holiday Is due
they begin 10 save UP their spare pen
MES for the coming gorge" or ''scofi'."
as it is also called. Perhaps there il
party of them together, and they
combine their forces and funds.
Many of them can cook fairly well,
and all lend some assistance In pre-
pairing the meal. One attends to car
rying the water, another arranges the
different purchases SO that they can
be handily reached, while others as
slst In making the fire and attending
to the actual cooking. The men who
are not chefs sit around the fire, smack
their lips and swap stories about the
places they were In the year before
Perhaps some man will be reminded
OF having been In Jail the year before.
He tells about the poor feed" that he
received and how he scolded against
fate and the law for having shut him
up on such an occasion. Another man
will remember how he was In the far
west where there was no meal at all.
still another will recall how he thought
of reforming and had practically made
up his mind to 20 to work when some
housewife tempted him with n fine
Thanksgiving "set down." aud his good
resolutions went to pieces.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-11-25
CARVING THE TURKEY.
Some Suggestions For the Man Who
Yields the Knife.

Some Suggestions For the Man Who
Yields the Knife.
A few suggestions on carving prob
ably will not be amiss and may save
the fresh Thanksgiving table linen
from Dissertation by splashes of gravy.
First, then. let the carver plunge
the fork firmly into the breast of the
turkey. He must have sure hold of
the breastbone IL he would operate
successfully.
Let him then cut off the wing near
est him, which Is done by passing the
knife underneath the socket and IL
easily accomplished II the bird be
young and tender.
Remove the leg on the same side In
outward while making the cut Sep
arate the first and second joints of the
leg and next remove the side bone by
running the knife along the backbone
and close to It, 1t IL attached only
by Il filnment Of skin and fat; hence
this task IL not difficult.
Legs and wings being removed, the
slicing of the breast Is simple mat
ter. and this opens the cavity, from
which filling may be removed with Il
spoon. The removal of the leg usual
ly makes another opening. to be util-
ized In the same manner.
Be sure you have II well sharpened
knife.
II you cannot succeed In dismember-
ing 1t gracefully, don't be too sure that
the toughness of the turkey IL to
blame. A good after dinner speaker
IL more frequently met with than II
good Philadelphia Ledger
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-11-25

turkey for our Thanksgiving dinner.
Now, | never bought n turkey In my
life, and | don't want to make II mis-
take In 1t, | have full Instructions
from my wife. but still 1t requires
great care TO carry them out"
"Oh, II that's ALL" said the poultry
man, treasured. ~ will help you out"
you will?" asked the man eagerly
"Wlth pleasure. WHAT'S the matter
with this one?" And he took down
turkey and held 1t up to view.
"Does his breast move In or out I'M
der pressure2" asked the purchaser
doubtfully.
TRY II for yourself"
ut seems nexlble,' said the man.
gingerly pressing his fingers upon the
part mentioned. You know, my wife
IN great judge of these things, and
she told me all about 1t. Now about
the color of the legs. They should be
purply blue, with just tinge of gray"
"Well, there they are. You couldn't
get anything nearer the description
unless we painted them for you"
NO no. | don't want 'em painted.
She said the color should be natural.
Now about the flesh. | want to pinch
that and see that it Is elastic
"Well, PINCH" said the dealer.
The purchaser pinched and pinched
until there was not an inch of the bird
not fairly covered. Then he gave Il
sigh of satisfaction.
"rhat seems all right. But there's
one thing more--the wings. You don't
mind my twisting them according to
my wife's instructions? She calls
that the browning test of tenderness"
And he deicately turned them around
as he would the knob Of a door. This
done, he opened the beak and looked
into the mouth, devotlng considerable
time to minute examination of the
tip OF the tongue. Finally he announc-
ed his satisfaction, paid for the turkey
and started off with 1t.
He reached the door, then suddenly
turned.
Great heavens! ! forgot to exam
Inc the fexIbility of the spur, and
without being backed by that all other
tests are useless"
But the poultryman had vanished
into nearby saloon and at that mo-
ment was engaged In toning up his
nerves for the next customer.-New
York Herald.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-11-25

Let them eat those pastry pufs they think
Because they've got outandsh and mighty price
But, to curb your appetite and your stomach satisfy
There's nothing like great big chunk of Yankee pumpkin pie!
Roast beef have body building WORTH
Veal mutton, lamb, be nourhing stretching grh
Your chicken duck turkey may suit paates very fne
But these back when Tn passing the line.
Fish, flesh and fowl the appetes of
But you better when your table
the high let each dainty dish go by
II I ian get my piece of pumpkin pe
john Grey IL New York Tribune.
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-11-25

With the idea of returning thanks
for bounteous harvest the warlike
Romans set apart some days In the
autumn of each year for what they
termed the Ccrenlia In honor of the
goddess Ceres. This observance Is
taid 10 be as ancient as the reign Of
Romulus aud was altogether an out
door frollc. There were gay process
sions to the fields aud rustic merry
markings, alluded to by the poet Virgil
The Lambertville record. [volume] (Lambertville, N.J.) 1872-1968, 1908-11-25

- nestly at the rows of turkeys
hanging from the hooks of 4
stand in Washington market.
aud the poultryman began to eye him
suspleiously, He did not look like
thief, the mild look In his eye denotlng
anything but the CLEAN of acquisition.
Still, his actions were not calculated
to inspire confidence.
Every now and then he would walk
up to the rack and feel gobbler's
breastbone, then stand of and take
a side look at the fowl, moving around
presently and gazing at it from the 9TH
er side. In this way he would admire
it from all points OF view and seemed
to derive immense satisfaction from
the observation.
The poultryman was fast becoming
nervous over these strange proceed
ings, and 10 put an end TO his anxiety
as to the mans intentions he approach
ed him aud asked:
"Well, sir, what can do for your"
The man started and for moment
appeared to be disconnected; but, recov-
erlng himself somewhat. he blushingly
stammered.
"Why. you see. l don't quite know
yet"
"Well, It's about time you did," gruff.
ly replied the poultryman.
"Yeyes-l suppose so, but l don't.
| want to get turkey. but l want to
be quite sure OF my ground before l
proceed
The poultryman looked at him still
more suspiciously.
81 dare say you will think me lit
tie peculiar" continued the stranger,
but the fact is my wife Is not very
WELL and she has sent me to buy the