The Jasper news. [volume] (Jasper, Missouri) 1898-1924, 1908-06-25
How a sIdewise Dog Trots.

the morning of a summer day, the
people were the amiable loafers-and
Old Baumgartner. The person he was
discoursing about was his son Sepheni-
jah. l am not sure that the name
was not the ripe fruit of his fathers
fancy-with, perhaps, the Scriptural
suggestion which is likely to be pres
ent in the affairs of a Pennsylvania
German-whether communicate or
not-even if he live in Maryland.
"Yas-always last; especial at FIJI.
nerals and weddings. Except his own
he's sure to be on time at his own
funeral Right out in front! Hah?
But sometimes he misses his wedding.
Why, l knowed feller-yous all
knowed him, begoshens!-thatd didn't
git there tell another feller'd married
her-'bout morn'n year afterward.
Wasn't it moren year, boys? Vas
Bill Eisenkrout Or, now, was 1t his
brother-Baltzer Cabbage? Seems
to me now like 1t was l'altz. Some
sing wiss b at the front end, any
how"
Henry Wasserman difIidently inti-
mated that there was curious but
satisfactory element of safety in being
last-a "fastnacht" in their language,
in fact. Those in front were the ones
usually hurt in railroad accidents, Al
exander Althoff remembered.
"Safe?" cried the speaker "Of
course! But, for why--say. for why?"
Old Baumgartner challenged defiantly.
No one answered and he let several
impressive minutes intervene.
You don't know! Hang You, none
of yous knows! Well--because he
amt there. when. anysing occurs-al-
ways little late!"
They all agreed with him by. a series
of sage mods.
But, fellers, the worst is about
counting. It's no way to be always
late. Everybody else gifts there first
and it's Messing for the fastnacht but
weeping and wailing and gnashing of
the teeth. And mebby the other Teller
gifts considerable happiness-and a
good farm. ~. sa4 4. ~, $..is b
There: was complaint in the old
mans voice, and they knew that he
meant his own son Seffy. To add to
their embarrassment, this same son
was now appearing over the Lustich
lillian opportune moment for a
pleasing depression. For you must be
told early concerning Old Baumgart-
ner's longing for certain lands, tene-
ments and hereditaments-usin his
own phrase-which were not his own,
but which adjoined his. 1t had passed
into proverb of the vicinage; indeed
though the property in question be-
lOnged to one Sarah Pressed, it was
known colloquially as "Baumgartner
Yearn."
And the reason of 1t was this: Be
tween his own farm and the public
road land the railroad station when
1t came) lay the fairest meadow-land
farmers eye had ever rested upon
Il am speaking again for the father
of Seffy and with his hyperbole. J
Save In one particular, 1t was like ar
enemy's beautiful territory lying be
tween ones less beautiful own and the
open sea-keeping one poor inlandel
who is mad for the seas-whose crop.
ihuoI CllHCl lIioo dClOSS tl.e IdHu OI I'LL
adversary and pay tithes to him, o.
go by long distances around him at the
cost Of greater tithes to the soulles!
owners of the turnpikes-who aggra
yatingly fix gate each way to make
their tithes more sure. So, say, 1
was like having the territory of hi
enemy lying between him and dee]
water-save, as l have also said, IL
one particular, to wit: that the owne
the Sarah Pressed l have mentione,
was not Old Baumgartner's enemy
In fact they were + tremendou
friends. And 1t was byethis friendship
and one other thing which l mean t
mention later-that Olds Baumgartne
hoped, before he died, to attain tn
wish of his life, and see, not only tn
Elysian pasture-feld, but the Who'll
of the adjoining farm, with the lin
fences down, a part of his. The othe
thing promised to mention as an al
to this ambition-was Seffy. Ant
since the said Sarah was of nearly tn
same age as Seffy. perhaps l nee
not explain further, except to say tina
the only obstruction the old man cou1
see now to acquiring title by marfiag
was-Seffy hiraself. He was, and a
ways had been, afraid of girls-e,
pecially such aggressive, flirtation
pretty and tempestuous girls as thi
Sarah.2&
These things, however, werefhered
tary with the girl. .tt was sshi a