The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-09-27
DRIFTWOOD

DRIFT CD
 Its all right to save for rainy day, but don't try to prepare for a flood and | be a miser.
 The Richmond Times Despatch Is | always referring to the little blondes of that city as being starry" eyed. which is a confession that their faces look a milky way.
 Your wife has such engaging | ways"
 "She certainly has She has engaged two dozen different cooks this season | that I know of." It Is, to say the least of it, unre- l fined for a woman to sit up and brag about her refinement. very much 'out of place" when the boss tells him he needn't come back to work any more. A woman will always take long odds trying to get even in this world.
 Mrs. Brown:--Joan of Arc was a brave woman. I'd like to have seen her when she went into battle.
 Mrs. Green:-Yes-I wonder what she wore?
 The average man in the public eye bears strong resemblance to a cin- der.
 Get down your underwear.
 Clean out the grate, Fill up the coal bin Fore It's too late.
 You don't have to be born with a silver spoon in your mouth these days "a silver knife seems to answer just as well.
 A special from Powder Springs. Bryan blowing up. One might know that the fire of Toms oratory haring up at Powder Springs would start something doing.
 The Tarift will be revised-(Repub- lican Party. adv. tf.)
 Airships will not fly because they are not made of fly paper verse for gas company at so much metre.
 An Eastern man stole $125 in order to see how 1t felt to go in high society. He will now go to the pen and experi- ence the sensation of associating with some of society's very brightest lights who have fiickered.
 A fool and his money rush in whero angels fear to tread.
 There is a man in Pennsylvania who has not spoken word in thirty years. Mebbe his wife hasn't given him a chance.
 The atmosphere Is free from mi crobes' at an elevation of 2.000 feet Scientific Journal.
 Much oblige-we'n get an airship.
  Europe is said to be growing stead fly colder. This may be due to the fact that all her titled buns are freezing onto the cool millions of American heiresses.
 Exit the Oyster Bay date line. One day I met a maiden
 Who filled my heart with bliss
 Her big eyes looked like this
 But one day I discovered
 An heiress she would be Now every time I see her
 Her eyes look thus to me:
 
 The artist draws a picture. the ora tor draws a crowd, and the dentist draws a tooth. but the fellow that draws a salary is the honey boy after all in this world.
 The women of the Fiji Islands don't wear any clothes. Gee! it must be tough to be a woman over there and nn indllCn In tha nnallnXad bo ness of talking about your neighbours new hat.
 These days of college slang a girl learns to say darn it before she'll sew up the holes in her stockings.
 When a girl goes to a cooking school she practices her art on her husband. Man always did have the hard end of 1t in this world.
 The kids of Montgomery will brush the dust off their books and make a noise like a snail going to school to- morrow morning.
 In spite of what numerous malicious newspapers say about our blue eyed blondes and brown eyed brunettes, the usual parade of the perfumed and pow grace graeefuIiy GSi'sSI ana sweet to church this morning while the Lord and His angels will watch over them lest they stray away to Humbug Houston. Rotten Richmond. Naughty Nashville, Awful Atlanta. Nutty Norfolk. or Woefui Washington.
 When He Weakened. He had hunted lions in Africa.
 And captured whales at sea. .- .. He had faced the Royal Bengal
 In It's den In perfect glee. lie had been in twenty battles
 Where the bullets fell like rain. He had gone up in an airship
 And had fallen from train. He had scaled the Alps and fallen
 Down a precipice in play. But when wifey took him shopping.
 He tainted dead away. PHIL H. ARMSTRONG