Maryland independent. [volume] (Port Tobacco, Md.) 1874-current, 1908-05-08
ey KATHARINE AMEs.

Her name was Lily, and she was a
white COW. That is. she was born
white, but being COW. she had the
careless sleeping habits Of her kind.
which resulted in grass stains here
and there upon her hide, and patches
Of baked mud
My father had lately acquired her
IN the place Of a debt that had
seemed dubious.
She was an abnormally constructed
COW, with what Artemus Ward would
have called long "style of archtec-
sure" Long legs. long horns. and
tail so long that II 1t had not been
tor peculiar bend next the body. the
brush end would have swept the
ground.
Now, you want to beware, always
there are no exceptions to this rule
of a COW with a bent poker attach
ment connecting her tail with her
body, particularly IL she wears the
rest of its length hanging straight
down. You may be sure that is the
only straight thing in her makeup.
II you have occasion to milk her,
ion't forget this.
Not that Lily held her tail aggres-
sively. 1t had an air rather detected
than otherwise. while her meek eyes.
half shut, and long horns absurdly
wide apart. gave her an apologize,
almost an appealing expression,
which was altogether misleading.
Now,I had to milk her. and ex-
perienee had taught me that if ever
COW was born with an evil spirit,
that COW was Lily l could tell by
the hang of her tail when she meant
mischief. If It hung straight and
limp from the bend, took care to
perch myself on the stool with view
to sudden changes of position. True,
my premonitions, though always to
be depended upon for the climax,
never taught me when to expect it.
1t was clear that Lily had a scheme
Of her own on which she relied with
perfect confidence, for my undoing.
I tried to figure 1t out on some system
Of astronomical mathematics, recur-
renee of comets. or the like, but
while | was puzzling with calculations
she generally announced hers by cas-
ually putting her foot in the foam
Ing bucket and giving me binding
switch in the eyes with that diabol-
ical tail. She always contrived. too,
to get the brush end in the milk,
somehow, before she tapped it over
me, knocking my cap of my head,
and me of the stool into the milk she
had tipped over.
l was not allowed to punish her.
Ny father was at the head of the
Humane Society in -. No cruelty
to animals" allowed on his premisesl
In justice to him | must own that
he gave me plenty Of time to win
Lily by gentle treatment, and the lost
milk, so far. had brought nothing but
circumstances, more or less lively,
according to his mood. But he was
beginning to prophecy concerning
events that might be expected to take
place in the near future, II | didn't
come to better understanding with
the COW. This disheartened me, be-
cause saw no way of promoting such
an understanding. How is a boy
going to comprehend pure cussed-
ness" from cows point of view?
And knew this was what allied her,
instead oft"fies" and condolences.
as my father declared.
One evening | carried out my
bucket and stepped up alongside of
the old sinner | was feeling pretty
good, for I'd Just been trading jack
knives with one of the fellows, and
had the best end OF the bargain
warming my pocket. Naturally 1
was disposed to think the best l could
even of Lily, and she looked meek
enough to have fooled Solomon him
self. Anyway, she fooled me and
rather threw me of my guard. Not
that | ever gained anything by being
on my guard. except a certain self
respect.
Well, | adjusted myself to the stool
and began my task with half a
thought in the pocket beside the new
knife, the remaining half on the COW.
] had nearly filled my bucket with
not the slightest sign of opposition
from my tormenter, when suddenly
she set her great hoof in the milk
and gave me vicious switch with
her tall Over l went, and all that
warm deluge flowed over mel
Furious is an Arctic word when
you are really in need of something
uncommonly hot. But the English
language is poor in words calculated
to express a boys feelings in time
like this. l jumped up and grabbed
rail of the barnyard fence, quite