The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-03-22
DRIFTWooD
.Y PHIL .. ARMSTRONG.
wont somebody hold the Black

won't somebody hold the Blacl 1 Hand7 A Wilmington man in a dream tn, | other night thought he was cutting hfi | throat to escape a mob. What kint I of midnight suppers are the people oi Wilmington accustomed tof cry siggies-Dorothy Dix. Yes--and some, of them laugh right out loud in church. The scissors grinder has keen sense of hunor.
 A hrst-grade examination is uphill work
 Merit wins. The boy stood on his merits
 Whence all but him had fled. For the lad who stands on merit
 VIII sure come out ahead become engaged to man from Lemon. tMo3 orange blossoms soon. let us hose.
 The Montgomery BIonde. Breathes there a girl with soul 50 dead Who never to herself hath said I'd be a blue-eve1 blonde instead Of Houston widow with head of red.
 
 MT. Fuller winn is q candidate for the Georgia Legislature. At last ac- counts he was blowing of his com ing victory.
 Speaking of Lillian Russeil's '.in- she surely doesn't expect to do 1t with those gowns that cost thousands. The dressmaker's bills would frighteu the average man away.
 Says The Detroit Free Press: What St. Patrick did for Ireland the Prohi- bition Party now seeks to do for the United States"
 Harry Orchard is sentenced to be hanged on May IS. A commutation or the sentence to 6 life term has been asked, however, and Harry may not get 1t in the peck.
 LaFollette puts the panic up to the Standard oil and Pierpont Morgan and makes no bones about his opinion of their manipulation of stocks
 -eoid Is worth ssss. sss a ton." says Drift Armstrong. of The Montgomery way, tust as if he had the glittering stun hanging round the shop in bas- ketfuis. .----Atlanta Georgian,
 + #
 AuthOr--Wna nag uo you CuAE8e toF typewriting that little etory2
 Stenographer--Five dollars.
 Author-Say-you use the "touch" system. don't you?
 The Charleston News and Courier is ernor ce Georgia.
 Beauty may be only skin deep, and when the cosmetics are artistically ap- piled many a man Is the victim of skin game.
 A Michigan man has been indicted for cashing an expense account for q trip he never took. but perhaps he will take 1t yet
 He's won pretty w+fe---iucky old .oh--i don't know-hes always growling oyer. her cooking
 Consolation.
 The State will be-
 Quite dry next year
 But those who die
 Will have their bier.
 s-.
 A woman would rather be praised for her taste in dress than be credited with the possession of all the cardinal virtues .-.-porothv Dix
 f whewt. As I was going to St Ives i met a man with seven wives. Each wife had a temper like seven eata And sIl of 'em wanted Easter hats.
 The Tradesmanis Review
 (of Misinformation.1 Bibb County--A bibb factory has just started up. s$v~ Marshall Countv--Policemen are be- ing born there every day. Coffee County-A big coffee mill has just started up. (The people. owing to prohibition. will drink nothing Mobile county-Automobils factory In full blast.
 Jackson Countv--Some of the finest Jack asses in the State are raised there I've came from there.) Jefferson County-Thomas Jefferson taught school there-mebbe! s DeKalb County-Cab factory. :- Limestone COunty--Lime-kiln. Madison county--Mad-stone quarry. Shelby County Shells and cartridges. Clay County--Brick. Baldwin County--Hair-restor Hale County--Ice factory. Walker County-Shoe factory. Marion County-Holds the record for marriage licenses.
 Tuscaloosa Countv-Tusk and guano factory. Morgan County--Mammoth morgue.