The Prescott daily news., 1908-05-18
JOHN TWEEZER'S TOOTH
Gives Him Considerable Trouble and
 Causes a Domestic Earthquake.

ildhu tO HIS Jaw.
 No, but 1 can fix one for YOU in a few minutes. Is your tooth giving you much pain?" asked Mrs. TweeZer, as she turned on the light and gazed at Tweezel.'s map of woe
 Do you think it is tickling me. Mrs J. Tweezer, and that | have called you to a feast! It seems that trouble has been look ing for me lately in the way of a lot of old nervy teeth, and | have decided that nothing short of capital punishment will reform, them
 My, did you see that flash of lightning, Mrs. Tweezer? The al- ternating current has blown the fuse out of this tooth of mine and left the nerve jumping like a linn ber-jack. Can't you stick W ire to me and make a ground. so l can keep my heels on the beI?"
 John yOu howl like nobody ey- CT had the tooth-ache before" re- marked Mrs Tweezer, as she pro- ceeded to cut a sleeve from one | of TweeZer's old shirts.
 Nobody ever had this one be- fore. This one has got me on the disabled list, Mrs Tweezer"
 Did you ever try the dentist?' asked Mrs.TweeZer as she thread ed Il needle and began to sew up AF Ie, of tho l,hi,.t sleeves.
 Dentist 1" howled Tweezer, that's what gave me that night mare just now"
 You see, Mrs, Tweezer, l was dreaming of that nickled plated chair. and how my jaw was be- ing explored with a rock drill, and how the doctor was tamplng down the concrete and how my whiskers was buZzing around on the shaft of the auger like an electric fan, and how something about the machinery slipped, and which caused my spine to pop like gasoline engine-and how the doctor backed up the engine, put in a fresh auger, saturated its point with sulphuric acid, and Isaid with a knowing smile, I will soon have that nerve as dead as fish l suppose he meant God, as that is the deadest fish I ever smelled. 1 think the doc tor must have been a little off of his bearings. Mrs. Tweezer, as that nerve is as lively tonight as campaign lie
 John. you must cut out that preamble, if you want me to doe tor you. l thinH your brain fo- GUS has been disturbed instead of your tooth It seems that burr ed images have been east on the sensitive retna of your vision which cause you to see strange sights"
 Woman! what in the world are you going to do? Are you go- ing to sand-bag me?' yelled John as he pulled his pillow up over his head.
 Take that pillow from over your face John, this is no sand bag. it's an ash bag, the kind that mother used to make"
 "Heavens, are you going to put that bag into my mouth, Mrs. ITweeZer"
 II won't if you will keep it closed" said Mrs. Tweezer, as she proceeded cautiously around the bed with the steaming bag of ashes.
 Now. turn your face this way, John. so I can place it to your jaw"
 Inst as John turned his face up it met a shower of hot ashes and cinders. One of the seams in the old shirt sleeves having given away The room was Tiled with a dense cloud of smoke, and from the fog arose moving vol cano. As it passed around the room. it demolished everything in it's path. As it grew less active lit emitted in long shrieks Turn on the fire alarm, Mrs. Tweezer, turn on the fire alarmr' | Woman" said Tweezer, after Mrs. Tweezer' had dressed his wounds and put him to bed, T will see tomorrow how many ma trimonial ads you have in the pa pers and also how many holes You have dug about the barn. l will leave this death trap immediate ly."
 ~There now, I think you will he all right by morning sail Mrs. Tweezer, as she put the last fin