The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-08-22
BowsER's NATURAL HISTORY.
He Gets Crichets and Grasshopper'
Mixed Up a Bit.

Mixed Up Bit.
Not by the slightest sign or token
did Mr.. Bowser betray the fact when
he came home to dinner the other
evening that he had anything of I'M
usual importance on hand. 1t was only
after dinner that he took small
pasteboard box from his pocket and
said.
Mrs Bowser, do you know what
our home has lacked for many years
past?"
I've. Ives. it has lacked furniture" she
"Um. You can't speak without get
ting off something sarcastic, can you
There has been something lacking to
make it a home. I have felt it, and
if you were different kind OF woman
for the furniture, it's good enough,
and if you see amy new in the next
ten years you'll be lucky"
We've got a coffee mill, an AK, a
hammer, cat and a gimlet," she
said after a moments thought, land
can't think of anything else.'
but when we sit here of an even
ing-you and 1, and the house is quiet,
and we are thinking of days gone by,
what do we miss p
You don't mean the yeow1 of
cats?"
NO, HOf the yeilS VI iOdltTS.
Bowser, haven't you got a red cents
worth Of sentiment in your make-up?"
"Of course, I have, but why don't
you tell me what you are trying to
get at? Has it anything to do with
that box?"
evening when we sat here by our
selves L noticed how unnaturally still
the house was. The stiffness got on
to my nerves. No cat purrtng on the
hearth-no rats gnawing in the par
titionS-no mice squealing. Just the
drip of the rain and the solemn tick
of the clock. 1 looked at you, and you
seemed to have suddenly grown ten
years older"
Thanks, Mr. Bowser. L was prob
ably wondering how to get fifty cents
out of you for new pair of stock
ings."
suddenly it struck me that what i
missed was the song of a cricket.
The song that would have brought
cheer to us was not here. 1 then and
there made up my mind that the want
should be supplied as soon as pos
sible.
And you've got a cricket in tina,
box?''
"I have. A farmer brought it in tc
me today, and l gave UP dollar fOr
it. 1 am now going to put him down
on the hearth and let him find his
uOlIlSs anu Wiulllti ten IiuluI5S ue IL Ut
singing in way to rejoice your heart
There he goes"
'And you call that a cricketT' ejac-
ulated Mrs. Bowser, after regarding the
insect for a moment.
You don't suppose I'm idiot enough
to call it a rhinoceros, do your
But it isn't a cricket at all. It's just
a big grasshopper!"
"Nonsense!"
But tell you it's so. It's big
grasshopper. Look at his wings and
idiot!" Ic-c1 -lv 81
Mr.. Bowser turned as white as snow
and then red as a beet. Then he
bristled up all over and rose up and
said:
Woman, this is too much-too
much"
Yes, too much grasshopper."
But it's not grasshopperi'' he
shouted at the top of his voice.
1T certainly is, and any man who
ever lived in the country will tell you
so I'H prove 1t by the encyclopedia
farmer certainly sold you a grasshop-
per. Singl Why he'll never sing any
more than a piece Of putty! He can't
He isn't built that way. He's built
for jumping"
Have you quite finished?" asked Mr.
We're ominouS.
Yes, I suppose So"
'"Then let me remark that this is a
cricket. 1t is singing cricket. He will
sing when he gets good and ready. He
will sing for me, and you will be en-
tirely out of it. In your envy and
jealousy should you so far forget your
self as to haul off and hit him swat
with the broomstick. 1 will make your
heart ache if I have to live a hundred
years longer to do it! That's ALL"
Don't be afraid of my touching
your old grasshopper."
My cricket, you mean
Mrs. Bowser passed into the library
and took down a volume of the en-
cyclopedia and returned with it. She
found quite space devoted to the
cricket, accompanied by an illustration,
and she asked:
Does that picture of cricket look
like your grasshopper?
Madam, the case was settled five
minutes ago. Please keep quiet. My
cricket has come to a strange house,
and I wish him to get wonted and be-
gin to sing. In passing, 1 may remark
that 1 do not care a rap for all the en-
cyclopedias on earth. For the first six
teen years of my life 1 lived in the
country. / saw owls; / saw crows; !
saw crickets; / saw grasshoppers; I
saw toads. 1 do not think I have de-
generated into such a blooming idiot
that cannot now tell one from the
other"
Then had perhaps best go up