davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18
kiousecleaninn stratenv.

"Was that a porch climber we saw
over at Gamper'sT
mo; 1t was Camper himself. He was
afraid to go In at the front or back
door for fear his wife or the cook
would set him to beating carpet" Chi
cago Record.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18
Brave Man.

Come" said the strong minded wo-
man. I'm sure there's burglars down
stairs. We will go down and scare
them away"
"Well, Maria" stammered her hus-
band, "you g-g-go first; they wouldn't
hit a woman"
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18

WANTED-2 YOUNG LADIES
as walters in restaurant; must have
experience, Call at s72 Bond street.
o-l7.St
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18
BIDS REQUESTED FOR TWEEN

ty million gallon reservoir Sealed
proposals for furnishing materials,
and constructing a twenty million
gallon reservoir, in whole, and in sec
tions, will be received until II
O'Clock noon Friday, October 2, 1908,
at office Of the Water Commission,
City Hall, Astoria Oregon. Plans and
specifications may be seen, and blank
forms Of proposals obtained at said
office. Certified check in the sum Of
not less than 10 per cent Of the
amount bid on each contract must
accompany bids. Right to reject any
and all bids is reserved. City Water
Commission, BY @. w Lounsberry,
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18
HOUSES FOR SALE.

HOW is THIS FOR A SNAP. A
nice, coy home; $1,000; $500 cash,
balance on easy terms. A. R, John
son, 100 Twelfth. o-o-tf
A BUSINESS INVESTMENT = A
2S-room rooming house; centrally
located; we'll furnished; this rooming-
house is making from $50 to $il0
clear each month. A, R. Johnson, 100
Twelfth street. o-o-tf
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18
MAasurAnant

docs Bliggins enjoy lifeT
mot exactly. He's the sort Of man
who measures the good time be had
yesterday by the size Of his headache
this morning Washington Star.
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18
BOWSER WRITES LIFE
Begins His autobiography, and
Good Wife Finishes It.
ANsER GETS BETTER OF HIM.

Attacks Tramp Who Seeks Money
For a Nights lodging and Supper
Hero ls Nearly Assassinated 40 q
Result.
Copyright. 1905, by t. c. Mcclure.l
Mr.. Bowser had been sitting and
smoking and gazing into vacancy for
ten minutes when he suddenly arose.
hurried to the library and returned
after q couple Of minutes with pencil
and paper and seated himself at the
reading table.
"What are you going to dof" queried
Mrs. Bowser as she looked up.
He started In and wrote seventeen
words without seeming to be aware Of
her earthly existence.
as It the draft of some important
paper you are working att" she con-
tinued.
Rather important, madam" he
slowly replied as he leaned back in bis
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18

FEATED HIS OBJECT.
chair and fixed his eyes on the ceiling.
'That is, it's SO important that the
editor Of Sunday paper has offered
me $50 for II when completed"
But what can it be-a story"
"Some people might call it that, but
it win be headed The Autobiography
Of Samuel Fowser,' and 1t win be ac-
companied by life size portrait Of
the undersigned"
How queerr whispered Mrs. Bow
ser.
II don't see anything queer about 1t.
In fact, I've wondered that some en-
terprising Journal didn't ask for it long
ago. They have simply overlooked
good thing"
"But what can have happened in
your life to interest any one?"
"Whatl What! A hundred things.
A thousand things. Keep quiet for a
few minutes and will show you how
1t starts off,"
Ten minutes later, with face as red
as If he had been saving wood and
his forehead damp with moisture, Mr.,
Bowser read as follows:
"On the night of Mr.. Bowser's birth
a barn near by was struck by light
ming, horse fell into pond and was
drowned, the postofiee was robbed, and
carpenter named Jones was murder
ed in his red. 1t will thus be seen
that our hefo"-
Ring at Bell Interrupts.
There was a ring at the front door,
and as the girl was out Mr.. Bowser
answered the bell The caller was
looking for family named Green and
was directed to the other end Of the
block and told to inquire for Brown IL
he couldn't find Green.
"That ouR hero did what?" asked
Mrs. Bowser as the historian returned
and resumed his seat.
''That is as far as shall write this
evening, as / wish to go slow and turn
out finished article. / have the re-
mainder in my head, however. / shall
go on and say that one could have
safely predicted a life full of stirring
adventures from these early incidents.
The subject Of our sketch was hardly
three months old when he was left
alone in his cradle one day. The doors
of the house were open, and while the
child slept and smiled
Ting-a-ling went the bell, and Mr..
Bowser answered 1t to find a woman
on the steps who wanted to know if
his name was Johnson and If he had
thrown beer keg at her boy Robert
that day. 1T took him five minutes to
get rid Of her, and as he came scuf1ing
back Mrs. Bowser asked:
"Did bear come In and devour the
baby, or did the cook strike for higher
wages? | hope no tragedy happened"
"As / was the baby and as / am
still living wasn't devoured," he an
swered. I shall finish that paragraph
by stating that gypsy entered the
house to steal me and he was already
carrying me off in his arms when
faithful dog attacked him and defeat
ed his object"
"What was the color of the dogp
what difference does that maker
II wouldn't ring in a brindle dog If
/ were you"
Mr. Bowser sat glaring at her and
swallowing the lump in his throat
when the bell tinkled again. It was
stranger, and he asked If Mr.. Bowser
had dogs for sale. If SO he wanted
q pug with twist in bis tail, provid.
ed the price was not beyond his means.
The reply was SO full Of exclamation
points and plain English words that
The dog hunter held his breath untII be
~. -.5aN s4
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18

MESSENGER BOYS WITH b.
cycles wanted at the Western
Union. S-22-tf
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18
FOR sALE--MIscELLANEoUs.
NEUTRALITY-SUSPICIOUS..

WANTED-TO BUY A HORSE:
weight about 1850 pounds; not over
8 years old; must be good driver and
gentle, also city broke. Address As
torian Office. 6-o-tf
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18

BOYS WANTED TO CARRY PA
pers, Apply Circulation Depart
ment Astorian Office, o-l7-u
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18
CLASSIFIED ADVERTISEMENTS
HELP WANTED

WANTED BOY OUT OF SCHOOL
to deliver papers and packages
Apply Whitman's Book Store. o-il-tf
The morning Astorian. [volume] (Astoria, Oregon) 1899-1930, 1908-09-18
HOUSE MOVERS.


FREDRlCKS0N BROS.--Wc make
a specially of house moving. car
penters, contractors, general jobbing;
prompt attention TO oil orders, Cor
ner Tenth and Duane streets
The Washington times., 1908-12-06
F R A N K A. M u N NSEY.

listen to generals grafton to his sol
diers. Nonsenset You offer me an
autobiography; / doubt all autobiog-
raphies l ever read, except those, per
haps, of Mr.. Robinson Crusoe, mariner
and writer's of his class. -
81 take up a volume of DR.. Smollett
or volume of the Spectator, and say
the fiction carries a greater amount OF
truth in solution than the volume
which purports to be all true, but OF
the fictitious book 1 get the expression
of the life of the timej of the manners
the movement, the dress, the pleasures
the laughter, the rid;cules of society
the old times live again and travel in
the old country of England. Can the
heaviest historian do more for me?'
What better proof of the truth OF
the satirist's views of the historian can
there be than is furnished by DR.. Fer
zero, by no means the least distin-
guished in the distinguished company
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

prove himself a friend of public in
terest in the District
1t seems to The Times that the chair
man should be taken at his word, md
given sincere support in every effort
he shall make He indicates a desire
to do better. The Times hopes he will;
it is sure he will be able to do so, if
he wishes. 1t has opposed Mr.. Smith
for his course at last session. and it
suspects that Mr.. Smith and some
other people may have awakened TO
the fact that after all there is reason
for giving consideration TO the fair and
reasonable petitions of the Capital City.
The Times hopes that Mr.. Smith
means all he says, and that he viii per
form accordingly. Ii ne shall prove his
good purposes and his capacity to get
results, he viii find none more willing
TO accord reeogni,.yn than this news
paper.
To say this much does not mean that
The Times has been converted TO Mr..
Smiths standard by his cheerful as
surances of good intentions. Mr..
Smith has need to bring forth fruits
meet for repentance. The need is espe-
cially pressing in his case. The pre-
sumption is not in favor of his entire
good faith about getting action. for
instance, on the pending gas bills
But he says he is going to try to
pass them, and expects to do so. For
that much he is entitled to recognition
and fair treatment until there shall
be evidence that he doesn't mean what
he says.
Meanwhile, Mr. Smith has the cordial
assurance Of The Times that it hopes he
Will do better, and that it will give him
full measure Of credit for everything he
does deserving credit.
The Washington times., 1908-12-06
Mr.. SMITH AND PENDING DIS
TRICT BILLS.

Chairman Smith of the House Com
mittee on the District of Columbia, will
not need assurance that in times past
he has signally failed to endear himself
TO this newspaper. He has not impress
ed it with a firm conviction of his in
telligent grasp of municipal problems
as they are presented here, or with a
deep confidence in his earnestness OF
purpose in behalf of the PUBLIC interest.
At the last session of Congress Mr.
ST7ith's course was responsible for the
failure of the House to pass two highly
important bills relating to the Wash
lngton gas monopoly His explanations
made matters rather worse than better.
Bus at the beginning of new ses-
sion Chairman Smith makes fair and
apparently candid statement of his DO
sition. He hopes to be able To pass
these measures early, and he gives
assurance that he is going 20 try to
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

that the signor has said in his heart
that all historians are liars and has set
out to prove it, demolishing cherished
traditions of a lifetime and casting
doubt on all one knows. or thinks he
knows, of ancient history And If he
does, who shall blame hin2 No less
an authority than Thackerly says that
the historian is less veracious than the
novelist In his essays on Steele the
great novelist and critic writes:
Say, for example, that I want to Um-
derstand the character of the Duke of
Marlborough, l read Swift's history of
the times IN which he took a part ;
the shrewdest of observers and initiat-
ed, one would think, into the politics OF
the age, he hints to me that Marlbor-
Ough was coward, and even of doubt
full military capacity; he speaks OF
Walpole as a contemplate bOOr. >
| take this as single instance, pre-
pared to be as skeptical about any other,
and say to the Muse of History:
"0h, venerable daughter of Nnemosy-
ne, / doubt every single statement you
have made since your ladyship was a
muse! For all your grave airs you are
not a whit more trustworthy than
some of your lighter sisters on whom
your Partisans look down. You bid me
The Washington times., 1908-12-06
Marriage Announced.

Mr.. and Mrs. Robert y. Chester have
issued cards announcing the marriage
Of their daughter, Henrietta A., to Mid
shipman Harlow Trask Kays, O. :. n,
The wedding took place in Manila, p l.
Saturday, November .. Midshipmac
and Mrs. Kays are spending their honey
moon in China, and Will reside in Manila
after December %
The announcement Of this wedding IS
of special interest in Washington, owing
to the fact that the engagement Of Miss
Henrietta A. Chester 70 AIidshipmau
Harlow T. Kays, l. s y, was mace
IL the same time that Miss Chester
sister. Miss Matilda A Chester, an
pounced her engagement 10 Lieut.. Allyn
Capron. L. S. n. c.
There was to nave been a double wed
ding some time this winter, but unex-
pected orders came. and the plans wer-
changed, Miss Matilda Chester and
Lieutenant Capron being married early
in the fall in San Francisco, They left
Immediately for the Philippines. Miss
Henrietta Chester accompanying them
She joined Afidshipman Kays. in Manila
where the wedding took place
The Washington times., 1908-12-06
SCATTERING ONES BELIEF IN
ANCIENT HISTORY.

Dr. GuglielmO FerrerO, the distin-
guished Italian historian who is in this
country for the purpose of delivering
a series of lectures on Roman history
and to pay a visit to President Roose-
welt, is an iconoclast Of unusually de-
struetive character. He is the king pin
"muclraker' so far as ancient history
and character are concerned. To follow
his lectures and interviews will make
even the pale and ascetic student yon-
der what sort of game he has been up
against for these many years, and viii
cause many others to ask what has it
profted to learn so much of ancient
days and ancient ways when a big
Italian comes along and brushes it all
aside, telling rs it isn't true, as if
authorities ike Nlommsen, Gibbon,
Froude and Others were as little to
be regarded as nursery rhymes.
DIR. Ferrero must be brave man,
else he would have hesitated to tackle
so many thoroughly vOuched for Incl
dents of history and denOunce them as
myths. It is bad enough to be told
that Cleopatra was anything Tut a
beauty and that whatever fascination
she possessed for Caesar and Antony
was due large to their desire to con-
quer Western Asia-for which purpose
Cleopatra, with the unlimited resources
of Egypt, was much needed.
And so instead of dying for love of
the Egyptian we are left to the dis
enchanting reflection that both Antony
and Caesar spake love to the dusky
queen because there was money in it.
As if this were nOG unsettling enough
20 all ones ideas of history, DR.. Fer
zero paUses to say that memorable
grafton of Mare Antony's-which all
but ''moved the stones of Rome to rise
and mutiny"-is but the idle dream of
some vagrant chronieler who did not
have the love of truth IN his bosom.
This method of writing history is to
establish Signor Ferrero's various
hypotheses of the time he discusses
and then follow each to its source and
disprove it or prove it. Thus we sec
thai being a real historian is like being
a genius and means a capacity for tax
ing an infinite deal of pains. But the
average student viii begin to believe
The Washington times., 1908-12-06
TEDDY BEAR, a GOLD
CHAIN, AND A RING.
Santa Claus. North Pole"

santa Claus. North Pole"
A letter with that address scrawled
over its face came into the hands of a
distributor of the local pOstoffce about
month ago. He was a father, him
self, and he knew out of what childish
hope that letter had come So he handed
it on TO The Times.
From that day to this such letters
have been coming in. Today there are
two columns Of them, every one a seal
or the love of mystery, The trust that
somewhere in this whirring world OF
ours there is a heart all kind, the long
ing of little child for the riches Of
childhood. Read this that came this
morning.
Dear Santa:
FiJase don't forget my Dear Sister.
She IS five months old, but she wants
a Teddy Bear and a gold chain with a
heart on 1t and q little ring. Good by
Santa From Helen Wilson, 9O6 eth St
). Z,
How many of US can think of that
tot of five months, with a teddy bear in
the lap made by two pudgy little legs
and a short dress, a gold chain round a
fat little neck with a heart hidden by
the teddy bear, and a little ring Ton
somebody else's ilger), without smile
on our lips and something else in our
hearts? How many of Us are there
who viii not understand as though we
were big sisters ourselves that natural
desire to see the baby given something
that perhaps We may use if it proves
too old for the t5ddler?
How many of US, to be sure? Prob
ably just as many to the dot as can
read that address to the North Pole
or any of the letters of today's two
column measureful and not look out
into the world with q new faith in
Christmas and a Iew determination TO
make the day smile in some little heart.
The Washington times., 1908-12-06
JUST ANOTHER WORD ABOUT OUR STRAIGHT
SEVEN-DAY NEWSPAPER AND ABOUT THIS FIRST
SUNDAY EVENING ISSUE IN PARTICULAR

newspaper nerprng cannot pull off an earth
quake other
pof popep p @ @ nevis w G5 to fake anything % mean this " the legitimate work Of news
papers today big news nothing indicated as likely
this issue of The Timeti Sunday
editorial the early morning before the evening news OF the day ast
We have organized efficient special the chief
as and splendid afcencV bv The Times and % editorial staff tbt @
this public express appreciation of
clever work their lOya and n
And the work in the editorial department has been ably seconded by the
forces the circulation the business,
hold of this proposition
wanted we P g4g @ we out HteSnge paper paper but many advertisers hays
is We have left out columns of advertising that able handle
not surprised that the keen advertiser in this Sunday medium
through which he talk effectively people Washington
prnt-neWs COMICS features high pressure stunts an weary stretches of advertising
SUNDAY evening noSsrRosTY ird frTo
hours later than the Sunday morning and latest impressions They hold
over fresh in the mind till the purchasing hours of Monday morning. when the shop
But beyond the fact that smaller
reading time for reading on Sunday
night than on any other night of the week
It may interest know that the journalistic
Washington today and this forward development
That the straight eav evening neoaner is slated for M % - &c -
doubt about nO shadow Of doubt The n Question inst now -
VIII The Washington Times have the honor pulling off this vtO victory
paper in the world in a quarter of century.
It the newest thing and the bodes thing and the biggest
Of ns to it's present f Of f % % 1IE !o re OLD ORDER
become He GREAT ney Of tho dar I P & mas
peat the Sunday
morning The Times has been DOING
all Neither of these methods has been satisfactory for
previous page talk on the matter
Inaueh snlay somebody is go
not Washington
pioneering the procession and that da
money for etes?
We of
best him.
unfOd awido
the wheels of
easily will cite results
In this connection don't mind telling of
Sunday evening yet four weeks old
while the conception hot ones BRAIN plunge before all vitality
S
tina
o
tne people Tor all other
nope will Sunday
fmakin
the whole
The Washington times., 1908-12-06
White House Aides

President Roosevelt has selected for
MS aides, VINO Will be on duty at the
White House this season. the following;
Col. Charles :. BromweIl, military side
to the President: Commander William
:. Sims, naval aide TO the President
Chief White House aide, Capt Archi-
bald Butt, L. ) A, and the junior aides
viii be Capt. Sherwood A Cheney
Engineer Corps Lieut.. Chsuncey Shack
ford, Z. s. n: Capt Harry r lay
L. s NJ. c.: Lieut.. Hugo ". Osterhaus
L. s. y; Lieut. Gilbert J. ROwcliI. L
s. N, and Lieut.. Semmes Read, I. s y
The Washington times., 1908-12-06
Mime. Iusserand's Tea.

-
Nine. JUsserand. wife or the French
ambassador, viii be hostess at 4 Isrge
tea this afternoon in honor OF Lord ard
Lady Northcote, who have been spend
ing several days in Washington on their
way back 10 England from Australia.
where Lord Nortncote hasl been COVER
nor for some time.
NIne- Jusserand VIII bel assisted II
the hOsDitaIities OF the afternoon BY
the wives OF the members Of the en-
bassy staff, Nine de BIan,pre- wife OF
the naval aJtache. and thet NiscouuteSs
de NarteI, wife Of the third secretary
Nine. JUssersnd IS arranging, one OF thy
smartest charity events Of The seas5n
Cor the afternoon Of Friday, Decellrer
is. IN the ballroom Of the BAitsh en-
bassy, which Mrs Bryce has Ioened FOR
the occasion. The affair viii he 2. rnr1si-
Gale for the beneht Of the St Rose In
dusjrial school the proceeds to help
defrsy expenses Of the new homo for
the school now n ti.e coulse of con-
strUCtiOn-
The artists OF the occasion VIII b
amateurs from exclusive circles OF
Washington society, including the Min
lister Of Norway and Nine Guide. Mrs
/ Laurence Townsend. Miss Boyle. Mrs.
Randolph. Nine de Blanpre, and Repre-
sentative Nicholas LO1Eworth.
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

John ". Gates is going 10 fight the
Standard Oil. RecoIlectiny what John
once did with a quiet little corner in
Louisville and Nashville, one can't but
suspect that unless that Standard oil
management brushes up and gets wiser
TO its business than Messrs. Rockefeller
and Archbold have shown themselves
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

Castro is said to have accumulated
$4,000. 100 while serving as President of
Venezuela Here's coincidence for the
person who bought the country at any
such price as that.
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

In fact Governor Hughes would soon
he tremendously popular with the New
York politicians if he would lust quit
dong unpopular things 10 them
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

The Hon. Champ Clark has been tun-
ing up for his work as minority leader
b. amusing himself with the tariff hear
ings.
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

\ Richmond woman was robbed OF
$4,000 on a sleeping car A glance at
the Pullman concerns annual report
Will show that this was really a mighty
small affair for concern SO used to
taking the money
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

For Secretary of State. John c.
Spooner- Doesn't that sound ike start
ing a Cabinet right?
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

If it be true that Castro has deserted
Venezuela il is safe to guess that the
available assets OF Venezuela are pretty
thoroughly depleted
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

Mr.. Miles, Of Racine, was bit SLOW
about coming forward tv tell his views
OF the tariff, but there was nothing
slow about the way he finally told 'em.
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

during recent appearances, Mr.. Gates
may make quite a hit
The Washington times., 1908-12-06
Return To Capital

The Minister from Norway and Nine.
GUIDE, who spent several days in New
York last week. have returned TO Wash
ingtOn.
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

Governor Blackburn, OF the Panama
Canal Zone, and Mrs Blackburn are
the guests Of Gen. and Mrs. W P. Hall
for several days
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

Representstiv1 and Mrs. Richard
Wayne Park ha7 e returned TO Wash
The Washington times., 1908-12-06
Gives Breakfast.

Gives Breakfast.
Hugh Legare entertained at breal
at the Alibi Club this morning.
Mr.. and Mrs. John r Mclean
tanned a large company Of young
at breakfast today This was IN,
OF this winters series Of Sunday
faSJs or luncheens they give eaclk
SOD
The Washington times., 1908-12-06
Charming Debutante Will Be Presented at Tea We'd
nesday Afternoon at the Home of Her Parents.
Gives Luncheon for Buds

ingtOn and have Joined Mss Eleanor
Wayne Parker and Miss Elizabeth VOL
colt Parker, at their home on Rhode
Island avenue
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

Mr. and Mrs John jay WhIts ,-{r,
come to Washington shortly befoEe the
Christmas holidays. and viii occup,, II, .
o- o, WHICH they rec'ptly
~ OIii al -'iiles lot 1heir
LAST year tney oc-
o~P-lU ~ N0 .o''olI house' on Nine-
VT mt VINO mas bhen
Africa, VIII return to this countryt n
a week or ten days.
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

The wife Of the japanese ambassador
viii give a reception tomorrow after
noon AT O'Clock, which is TO be eN-
clusively FOR the members and ladies'
OF the Diplomatic Corps
Later in the month, TaSahira intends
TO give A large general reception
The Washington times., 1908-12-06

Mr. and Mrs Charles 4. SpaldinE
have arrived in Washington from their
home in New York, and viii spend the
winter season In their residence on
Rhoee island avenue Commander A.
T. Cuh ~. L. :. y. brother Of Mrs.
Spaldiug. Nu be their guest Tor the
winter