davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
Deafness Cannot Be Cured

by local applications, they cannot reach the dis
eased portion Of the There Is only way &c
deafness, and that h by constitutional remedies.
Deafness Is caused by an innamed condition of the
mucous lining OF the Eustachian Tube. When this
tube Is nnamed you have a rumbng sound i'm.
perfect hearing and when II Is entirely closed Deaf.
is the result, and unless the Inflammation be
taken out and this tube restored TO It's normal eondi
ton, hearing will be destroyed forever; nine
out Of ten caused by Catarrh. which IA nothing
but an nfamed condition OF the mucous surfaces.
We Will give one Hundred Dollars for any case OF
Deafness tcaused by catarrhD that cannot be cured
ty Halls Catarrh Cure Send for circulars, free
+. J. CHENEY 4 CO.. Toledo. o.
Sold by Druggists, 75c.
Take Hairs Family Pills for constipation.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24

He had gone to the dry goods store
with bit OF dress material which his
wife had hidden him TO match. 81
am very sorry, sir" said the salesman,
but ! have nothing exactly like this.
The very last remnant was sold this
morning"
But must have IT," exclaimed the
husband otherwise, how can face
my wife?"
IF you will permit me, sir" said
the salesman, II would venture to sug.
gest that you invite friend home to
dinner with you"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
Jap immigrants for Brazil.

Brazil has received It's first batch OF
japanese immigrants-7S1-un the
arrangement concluded about nine
months ago between the Japanese and
Brazilian governments. Within two
days all were at work on the coffee
plantations. Other shiploads will ar.
rive regularly.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24

Kidney Pills, kid.
ney dis cas- g W a s
slowly poisoning me.
Dizzy spells almost
made me fall, sharp
pains like knife
thrusts would catch
me in the back, and
finally an attack OF
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24

grip left me with constant agoniz.
ing backache. Doan's Kidney Pills
helped me quickly and in three weeks
time there was not a symptom Of
kidney trouble remaining"
Sold by all dealers. so cents a box.
Foster.Milburn Co., Buffalo, n. Y.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
Ethics Of Friendship.

In the progress Of each mans char
acter. he will have learned the lesson
Of life who is skillful in the ethics of
iendship.-Emerson.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
Going Down.

"The thief jumped into the river,
but he had so much money in his
clothes he couldn't swim and went to
the bottom; recovered every cent"
That was lucky; you should use
that money as the nucleus of sinking
fund Houston Post.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
Insanity.

"You admit having received q $780,
600 fee from the trust?" said the law.
yer for the state.
II do" replied the senator, calmly.
Besides, sent II back"
Sent il back"
~ did"
Your honor" said the lawyer, turn
ing to the court, Il cannot prosecute
an insane man"
Adjournment was had until some
alienists could be rounded up.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24

When a fellow begs a girl for kiss
and is turned down It naturally makes
him feel peevish to see the way she
slobbers over a five weeks old baby.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
FLY YOUTH,

The Boss-Where did you work
last?
Boy-On a fly paper.
The Boss-A fly paper! What's a fly
paper?
Boy-Wot! Don't you read the Daily
Balloon?
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24

Aliens Foot-Ease,a Powder
For swollen, sweating feet, Gives slant relief The
original powder for tho feet. Zoe at all Drugg sta
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
COFFEE

Nothing does more for
a grocer, one way or the
other, than coffee. He
must sell poor; Che needn't
sell it to you) it is good
that makes him.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24

Mrs. winsiow's Soothing Syrup.
For children teething, softens the gums reduces IN
nammation allays pain, wind colo Csc bottle
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24

It isn't necessary for a married man
TO know his mind.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24

The dread Of ridicule is apt to stran
gle originality at its birth.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
THREE WEEKS.
Brought About a Remarkable Change.

Mrs. A. ]. Davis of Murray, KY.
says: when l began using Doan's
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
CONSIDERATION.

The Workman-Hey, what's that?
The Kid SEE, any time you gifts
tired I'll take de job fer two cents a
hour.-Philadelphia Ledger.
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
lnnnarfanf 70 Mnfhara,

Examine carefully every bottle Of
CASTORIA a safe and sure remedy for
infants and children, and see that II
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
A PROGRESSIVE,

Madame, dot girl of yours make
great progress NIT her moosic. Before
she was always two or dree notes be-
hint me. and now she is always two or
dree notes ahead"
The Garland globe. [volume] (Garland, Utah) 1906-191?, 1908-10-24
Willing to Help Him.

Your grocer returns your money II you don't
like Schlling's Best; we pay him.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
zEPPEL|N'S AIRSH|P
IN BRILLIANT FLIGHT
Remains in the Air Over Six
Hours Average Speed
of 34la Miles.
Ere,lerichshafen

Observation-Disclosures I,,l.. o Count
zennaii,,'s .,irsbi, ,,s.,tor,,.,, ..,na.l
n,illa,,tl,, tba i,,,,,.s, VA ,,,l, ,.,.,
,,,p tnst r, H., w. ,nnl,..n,,a =, ~.
~, ,,i,,ad -, w. ~. =, ~ -,
,,,'.,,ars ha,',.. .,,,.,j,,i,7,t an, , ., =,
al ILL., ,n,,,. ,,,,,, a ~ ~
,ha,,, 81, an h,t ,i,,a ~ ai
..i,'s.,7l@', 90 ,, 'i ~ -.
s,aaa ~ % a'', a.. w ',' ',.s'
,,d.,t ne .ili''''
na7,n,ant. ,r1rl,in nai'' j,,,n,t h,t1.b
p',..i1 - - w.. nii's "
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
SKYSCRAPER OF 81
STORIES ECL|PSES ALL
Equitable Life Will Construct
It on Site of Present
Building in New York.

New York. July 2.-Plans for a gil
Santic building. to be the Hottest IN tho
World, overlapping by 200 feet the Met
ropolitan tower, were filed With BUILD
ing Superintendent Murphy by d. H.
Burnham & Co, architects, of Chicago,
acting for the Equitable Life Assure
Ance society.
The building will be the new home
of the Equitable. taking the place OF
the present edifice and occupying tho
same site on the block bounded by
Broadway and Nassau, Pine and Cedar
streets.
With fits tower, the new building will
have So stories and be 900 feet above,
the curb, 200 feet higher than the Met
ropolitan tower with its 46 stories This
will be exclusive Of the flag pole, which
will run up $50 feet higher.
While contracts for this sky scraper
Of sky scrapers have not been drawn
up yet, 1t Is said construction will be-
gin within short time.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
PLATT WHEELED INTO
COURT AT PERJURY
TRIAL OF MAE WOOD

New York. July 2.-Cnited states
Senator Thomas c. Platr was wheeled
In a chair into the grand jury room In
the criminal court building to testify In
the case OF Mae C. Wood. who is
charged with perjury in her suit for
alleged divorce from the senator, which
collapsed several weeks ago. The evil
dence was presented to the grand jury
by Assistant District h.tnrney Garvin
Edwin Roland, the senator's eN-valet
and Edward G. Marley. II printer. were
also witnesses before the grand jury
1t was chiefly MIR llafiey's evidence
which caused the failure of Che wonl-
ans case against the senator and
brought about her arrest and commit
ment under order of Judge O'Gormaii,
who heard the evidence in the divorce
case
Mr. Haney printed the blank forms
of the marriage certificate which Miss
Wood offered in court. filled out. tn
prove that She had been married To the
senator.
Mr. lIaney testified that these blanks;
We're not printed until three months
after the date ON which Miss Wood
alleged that sine was married. Miss
Wood testified that the certificate WAS
filled out within a few hours after the
ceremony wsrs performed. She is ut lib-
erty under bail SO action WIS taken
by the grand jury.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
STOCK TRANSFER
ORDER ENJoINED

ST. Paul, Mimi. July Judges
Sanborn. Hook and Adams in the
United States circuit court today made
an interlocutory decree, whereby they
temporarily suspend and enjoin the cn-
forcement of the order of the Inter-
state Commerce commission, which re-
duced the charge of certain railroad
companies for the transfer of live
stock from the terminal of their roads
in Chicago to the Union stock yards
from 50 to 81 per car
The court holds the railroads COM
piled with the law, which requires ter
minal charges To be separately sched-
uled; that the commerce. commission
frred in reducing the rate unreason-
ably The court says: .'Under the acts
Of congress. federal courts have juris-
liction to set aside or suspend any
order of the Interstate Commerce COM
mission, which results from misconcep-
lion or misapplication of law TO con-
,eded or undisputed facts.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
Foundation of Ancient Tower Dug Out
In Convent Grounds at Rouan.


in Convent Grounds at Rouen.
The prison of Joan of Arc has just
been located near Rouen. The founda-
tions of the ancient tower in which it
was have been discovered and opened
up through some new construction
work undertaken by the government in
the grounds of the Ursuline convent,
ffrem which the nuns have recently been
expelled.
The workmen in digging for the new
foundations came upon Il massive wall
enclosing a circular space with Il diam
eter of about SO feet. When this was
cleared of earth a we'll was found In the
center measuring six feet across and
about 80 feet in depth Water rose in
it clear and cold as soon as the earth
had been cleared away from the bot
tom.
When the antiquarians got busy they
identified the wall as the foundation OF
a building which was known for ages
as The Maids Tower" A document
dating back to 1641 was produced,
which. taking 1t for granted that this
tower had been the prison of the Maid
of Orleans 210 years previously. gave a
description and measurements of It, in
Guiding the we'll which Enthusiastically
match the ruins just exhumed.
The structure appears to have stood
unchanged from the death of Joan in
1431 to 1890 when it was reduced to
ruins In the course of II siege. In 1863
the city leased the site on which the
ruin stood to Louis Mouchard.
In 1880 he appears to have stopped
paying the rent The greater part of
the ruin was cleared away about this
time, but as late as 1889 visitor writ
ing about the place mentions the foun-
dation of the tower as visible and
speaks of the we'll. After that 1t was
filled in with earth and later the site
became part of the nuns garden and
| the existence of the ruin and the tradi-
ton attaching to 1t We're forgotten.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
How the Airbrake Works.

"The late Angelo Heilprin." said a
Philadelphia scientist, had Il most
learned and q most lucid mind. Ha
could not merely master question
he could lay it SO clearly before you
that you, in a short While, became mas
ter of it, too.
Professor Heilprin claimed that they
who could not explain a subject per-
fectly did not know that subject per-
fectly. And he used TO tell u story on
this head.
HE said two commercial travellers
on the way from Reading to Philadel-
phia, got into an argument over the
action of the vacuum brake.
Its the imitation of the tube that
stops the train, said the first COM
mercial traveller.
"'Wrong! wrong!' shouted the sec
ond. It's the output of the eXhaus-
ton
so they wrangled for an hour, and
then, on the trains arrival in Philadel-
phia, they agreed to submit the mat
ter for settlement to the engineer.
The engineer. leaning condescend-
ingly from the window of his cab, lis
tened with an attentive frown to the
two travellers statements OF their argu-
ment. Then he smiled. shook his head.
and said:
"'Well, gents. you're both wrong
about workin of the vacuum brake
Yet it's very simple and easy to under
stand 1t works like this When VIC
want to stop the train we just turn
| this here tap and then we fill the pipe
with vacuum"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
ALT VANDERBILT
SRUNS SOCIETY
Young New Yorker Now Inter.
ests Himself Only in the
Horse Show.


London, July 2.-Alfred Gwynne
Vanderbilt Goes not trouble himself 10
go into society here. He prefers the
companionship of IL few young Amerl-
cans, without whom he is rarely seen.
The sporting set of aristocratc Eng
lishmen who play polo and race horses
seems to have no attraction for Nh.
Vanderbilt. although his close friend
Craig Wadsworth. has been adopted by
It, Mr. Vanderbilt did not go to the
wedding Of Miss Jean Reid and John
Ward. nor does he appear at any of the
dinners or receptions which Americans
give or where they are welcome.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
SUFFERED TWENTY-FIVE YEARS

With Eczemn-fer Limb Peeled and
Foot WINS RaSv-ThouSht Ampu-
tation Was Recommendation
Life Saved by Cutfcura.
81 have been treated by doctors for
twenty-five years for bad case Of
eczema on my leg They did their best,
but failed to cure it. My doctor had
advised me to have my leg cut off. At
this time my leg was peeled from the
knee, my foot was like piece of raw
flesh, and l had to walk on crutches.
| bought a set of Cuticura Remedies.
After the first two treatments the
swelling went down, and in two
months my leg was cured and the new
skin came ON. The doctor was sur
prised and said that he would use
Cuticura for his own patients. l have
now been cured over seven years. and
but for the Cuticura Remedies
might have lost my life. Mrs. ]. b.
Renaud, 81 Montana ST., Montreal,
Que, Feb 20, 1907"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
Theft He Couldn't Deny.


The attorney for the defense looked
kecnly at the witness who was testify
ing for the prosecution. Your name.
II understand YOU correctly" he said.
"is Horace Hinsey Is that right"
Yes, sir"
Did you ever live at Nashua
Yes. sir"
And in Wilmington before that?''
Yes, SIR
rested on a criminal CHARGE"
No, sir Indignantly answered the
witness Never"
Did you ever commit an offense for
which you might justly have been ar
rcsted2"
Never, sir"
MIR. Hinsey, is it not fact that you
Here the attorney for the prosecution
Interrupted, but the witness chose TO
answer.
NO, sir," he exclaimed. meyer in
my life"
"Now, MIR. llinsey." said the lawyer
J Suppose / should tell YOU that 1 know
of II case when you did steal from your
| father
Instantly the witnesses brow cleared
"Gentlemen,s he said. turning to the
| jury, hes right. ] remember now
l When was about years old | stole
half a dozen eggs from my fathers gro
Gerry store, took them down under the
! bank of the creek, cooked them anc
helped eat them. This lawyer, who
was u boy then. not only helped IN,
steal those eggs but put me up to steal
ing them. How are you, Jiin?"
The judge and jury Joined in tn,
laugh that followed and the rest Of the
| examination was conducted ON moro
friendly lines.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
COLONEL TUCKER's
AFFINITY NURSES HIM.
I'LL IN HOSPITAL

Mount Clemens. Mich. July q
Among the anxious watchers mt the
bedside of Colonel William T. Tucker.
who has just undergone an operation
at this city, is Mrs. Ralph Platt, or
Mrs. Myrtle Platt, as she is commonly
known.
Mrs. Platt is the woman who was
involved in the charges Mrs. Tucker
lied in the war department against her
husband.
II am here" Mrs. Platt said today.
AS n guest of Mrs Johnson. Colonel
fuckers sister. Where ! have been or
my other reasons for being here are
not to be made public"
The colonel is resting easily she
continued, and we are doing our utter
most to nurse him back to health and
strength"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
ANOTHER RAID BY
THE SUFFRAGISTS

London. July 2.-Woman suffragists
assembled in great numbers In the vi
entity of the house of commons this
evening. They made several ugly rush
es on the police Gordon and refused to
dispense when ordered. a number of
arrests We're made.
The parliament buildings are sur
rounded by hundreds of policemen.
AT the house, members of the deputa-
ton We're met by a solid body of police
and refused admission. The premier,
In IA curt message, declined to see the
deputation and when the delegation re-
turned TO Caxton hall 1t was decided
to collect a full force of suffragists for
4 subsequent demonstration at the
house of commons.
Hundreds of police are guarding the
house in view Ct the protected raid.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
In Asparagus Time.
From the New York Time.

AlOIil luc ANcW xOIh llING6.
Senator Beveridge, at dinner in In
dianapolis, said during the course Of
asparagus:
This asparagus is superb. Its flavor
helps US pardon Fontenelle"
"Fontenelle?" murmured young
lady, in puzzled voice.
Yes, Fontenelle," said the we'll read
senator. Don't you know the story ?
Listen, then.
"Fontenelle lived to be 100. He at
tributed his longevity to asparagus AS
the consumptives go in for milk and
eggs he went In for asparagus-thrice
daily-as long as the season lasted,
Archbishop Dubois had almost an
equal love for the pale, sweet sticks
He liked them with a dressing of drawn
butter, but Fontenelle preferred Vine
gar and Oil.
Mime. de Tencin once invited these
two asparagus lovers to dinner. Halt
the asparagus course was prepared
with oil and vinegar, the other halt
with drawn butter, and on Fontenelle's
arrival the hostess explained this ar
rargement to him.
But just as the dinner hour arrived
there came pallid messenger from the
archbishop's house The good Arch
bishop of Dubois was dead.
Dead?' cried Fontenele.
Dead the messenger dolefully re-
peated.
Really dead?' said Mime. de Tencin.
Alas yes madam; dead irrevoca-
bly,, answered the messenger
Then he won't be here to dinner
murmured Fontenelle.
Naturally not the messenger
agreed.
Fontcnelle lcaped hastily to his
feet. He ran to the door, and opened
IT. Then he shouted across the hall to
the white-capped cook in the kitchen:
Baptiste, all the asparagus with oil
and vinegar!'"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
Unse!fish Tears.

from tne Boston IlODe
President Samuel p. Colt of the
Urited States Rubber company was
discussing in New York the amicable
trade agreement that has been made
between his firm and the international
Rubber company.
1T is best" he said, "for competitors
to agree to be fair and honest with
one another, and this agreement of ours
is fair and honest one. 1t is not like
those wherein. two rivals. while pre-
tending TO be fair, vet knife one an
other continually in the back. Such
hypocritical agreements remind me OF
two children. two little boys know.
They were lunching, Billy and Jack
and when the butler brought on the
dessert it was seen that there was only
enc orange in the fruit basket. In
stantly Billy, the larger boy, set up d
loud bawling.
"'Now, what's the matter? said the
governess. What are you crying about
Billy?
I'm cryin',' Billy answered. because
there's no orange for Jack"
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
A Cold Lunch.
From Lippincott's.

The pupils of Il distinguished pro-
fessor of zoology, a man well known
for his eccentricities, noted one day
two tidy parcels lying on their instruc-
tors desk as they passed out at the
noon hour. On their return to the lab
Cratory for the afternoon they saw but
enc. This the professor took carefully
up in his hand as he opened his lee
ture.
''In the study of vertebrate we
have taken the frog as type. Let
us now examine the gastrocnemius
muscle of this dissected specimen
So saying. the professor united the
string of his neat parcel and disclosed
to view a ham sandwich and a boiled
egg,
"Isut / have eaten my lunch" said
the learned man bewlderedly.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
LYDIA s. PINkHHM

No other medicine has been so
successful in relieving the suffering
of women or received so many gem
uine testimonials as has Lydia T..
Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
In every community you will find
women who have been restored to
health by Lydia e. Pinllham's Veg
etable Compound. Almost every
one you meet has either been bene-
fitted by it, or has friends who have.
In the Pinkham Laboratory at
Lynn, Mass, any womananydaymay
see the files containing over one mil
lion one hundred thousand letters
from women seeking health, and
here are the letters in which they
openly state over their own sigma
lures that they We're cured by Lydia
e. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound.
Lydia D. Pinkham's Vegetable
Compound has saved many women
from surgical operations.
Lydia E. Pinllham's Vegetable
Compound is made from roots and
herbs, without drugs, and is whole
some and harmless.
The reason why Lydia r. Pink
hams Vegetable Compound is so
successful is because it contains in
gradients which act directly upon
the feminine organism, restoring it
to healthy normal condition.
Women who are suffering from
those distressing ills peculiar to their
sex should not lose sight of these
facts or doubt the ability of Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound
to restore their health.
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
OYSTERS TAKE TO THE PIPE
Also to the BottIe-.An Unusual Speci-


From the New York Sun.
Young oysters fastcn upon anything they
may chance to light upon on the bottom,
on rocks, or it might be mpon old boots
or dishes or bottles; but a little out of the
usual is a bunch of oysters lately brought
to the aquarium attached to a pipe.
This pipe is fancy clay, or 1t may be
meerschaum, with a short hard rubber
stem. At some time when the pipe was in
Its owners possession the stem had
worked loose and he had bound 1t around
with several layers of paper to make 1t
tight, and though it has been some years
under water this paper wrapping around
its stem still remains where 1t was put
Its owner, some fisherman or FISHERMAN.
had dropped the pipe overheard when fish
ing or clustering and when 1t had found
resting place on the bottom oyster spawn
had settled on 1t and there grown up.
There are now attached to the pipe three
oysters probably three years old and three
empty shells. The oysters that once lived
in these shells We're doubtless killed by
starfish or by some boring enemy of the
oyster. When the old pipe with the oysters
and oyster shells attached to it was fished
up there was brought up with i: a small
snail that had found temporary home
in one OF the vacant shells.
Bottles with oysters growing in them and
boots and broken cups and saucers with
oysters attached to them are not so un-
common. but pipe with oysters growing
on 1t is little out OF the usua..
Missouri Valley times. [volume] (Missouri Valley, Iowa) 1874-1931, 1908-07-02
CUT RATES Oh
HUMAN FINGERS

East Ii orpeol. ohio. July 2.-sev-
1ral hundred peel pie from various sec
tons of the coulitry are willing to sell
three fingers OF their hands for $500
pes finger.
Joseph Ballouse, of this city, has re-
ceived letters to this effect. MIR. Bal
louise recently crushed his fingers in an
ice cream freezer. He was advised
that the only way in which he could
recover them was to have new fingers
grated o.. From this arose a report
that he would pay $500 for new digita
one man offered to give up his whole
hand at cut rates,