The Chanute times., 1908-10-16

snow fickers." Soy how's de brakes down dat
way? De last time me an de Honyak wuz dere,
de connie elevated us from the inside of empty
inter cactus garden, four hundred and eghty-wan
miles from grub. We walks de ties fer tree weeks.
Den we hits Albuquerque an near had tub beat
carpet tub git grub De ole gurrul would NV
had me woikin' only she grubs me foist, befoar she
brings out de woik tools Den l digs"
"Dere's nuttin' like dat, dere, desc days Dey
leaves de pies an eats out in de opun an de bo
wot can't freeze to meal an hour don't git no
soft woids from dis lulu"
That animated, brilliant and engrossing roper
toire was only one of several thousand of the same
variety, which comprised hobo "reminiscences told
by members of the great army of the unwashed
which assembled in convention not many months
ago at Clifford, ILL.,, for the National Hobo re-
union
Small tramps. fat tramps. tall tramps, short
tramps, red-headed ones, blondes, colored tramps
low-down tramps, tramps with high personal re-
gard for their vocations, and others who were
sneaky and might be caught working were 1t not
for the watchfulness of their brothers, all assem-
bled in solemn concave to worship their goddess
Rest.
These sons of rest-but they were not all sons
there were several daughters of rest-a paid their
respects to the cause for which they are fighting
In their own tactless way They, for the nine
teenth time, swore loyalty to the associations mot
to: Work, washing and worry weapons of the
devil and he who would knowingly or Intentionally
invite the descent of his patonic majesty in that
manner, he it is who is no true Son of Rest"
Slothful Sam, President Weary Willie, Ragged
Rufus, Tattered Tom, Reeking Reginald, Dinky
Dan, the best dressed "bo' in the association;
Handout Hank, Pieface Peter, Looping Louie, Walk
Ing Walter, Prayed Francis, Mirthful Mike TinCan
Teddy, and all the rest of the influential brethren
Of the Fraternal Order of the Unwashed were
there
The attendance as large usual. There
were some missing of course. Roll call revealed
the fact that Secretary Signing Snkers
avoidably detained by friends among the authori-,
ties at the Desplanes street police station in Chi-
cago He was booked as "vag" much to the un-
washed chagrin of President Weary Willie, who in
the Of his opening address remarked that
1t was DE woist coise dat wuz ever put fort dis
susete, tub t'ink dat one NV de most necessary
poissons of de order should be cumpelled tub miss
dis intellergen meetin'."
All the old officers of the association were re-
elected, the minutes of the meeting being inscribed
upon the brain of President Weary Willie until Sec
retary Sinkers should be released from his sojourn
in Chicago. The members of the association the
most easily satisfied crowd on earth, then ad-
journed. This action consisted of the chief execu-
tive dropping into a sound sleep. Others did the
same.
The following day the annual games of the or
ganization were given. There were several inno-
yations, hitherto not introduced. The long distance
snoozng contest drew out several hundred entries
and it required three days before the judges we're
able to render decision. Wakeful Wafles was
returned victor eventually, but up to the time of
writing he still snoozing noisy, utterly ignor
ant of the honor which his happy faculty had
thrust upon him.
The handsomest hobo contest was captured by
Dnky Dan, who in little address to the slumber-
ing contestants in the long-disance sleeping con-
test declared that in the absence Of any prize the
honor alone gave him plenty OF satisfaction.