Omaha daily bee., 1908-11-14
GRAFT IN SMALL THINGS
Wnsteful Use of Rubber Bands and
Pencils by Government
Clerks.

There's one infallible way to tell a gov
eminent clerk" remarked a p~hilosophlzing
department official in Washington the other
day. And how's that?' we asked. "Why,
it's this way he went on. IF a man has
his vest pockets full of rubber bands you
may know he works for Uncle Sam. Rub
Der bands are as free as the air you breathe
in the government departments land much
freer than some of the air). acquisitions
for them by the ton are sent in to head
quarters and the clerk never stops to think
(even II he knows the fact) that they cost
81 a pound or m~ore-for Uncle Sam, and
not he, has to foot the bills.
why, have YOU any idea how many rub
Der bands are used, or rather wasted, by
the government every year? 1t runs into
big money, ] can assure you, for l am in
a position where / have inside information
about 1t. The pension office simply eats up
rubber bands faster than a western thresh-
ing machine gets away with grain. Great
big ones are needed to hold the papers In
the thousands Of cases together, and they
cost a cent apiece. A cents nothing Ia
worry over, you'll say. but when the thing
goes on at the rate 1t does It makes an
item in the course Of the year that would
wreck any private business. I'm not jok-
ANS' - tNC AoAAd1Au OA COIlDdHJ MAS EuI
as wastefully as the government is, Uncle
John would have to charge us 81 a gallon
for oil. II the socialists get hold of thing
land 1 believe they're going to- and they
set the government to running everything
It'll spell bankruptcy for old United States
You've no idea how careless and extrava.
CANT people get when they know that I'll
going to come out of the government
Every fellow seems to be bent on seeing
who can run through with the most. And
the rubber band graft is the most striking
illustration OF this l know OF. I've called
attention to this leak over and over. but
the powers that he always reply that such
things as rubber bands are too small pota-
toes to sit up nights over, l don't dare
say how much Uncle Sans total annual
bill for rubber bands is, but it's up in the
millions, judging from my data.
Then there's the lead pencil graft, too.
why, President Roosevelt's commission
that he appointed to look into the depart-
mental leaks actually found that the gov
eminent buys enough lead pencils to give
every clerk a new pencil every single work
ing day OF the year. Now any sensible
man knows that those clerks can't use up
that many pencils. When a man paws his
own hard-earned money for a pencil he can
keep 1t for weeks, but when the government
supplies him it's different.
The Postoffice department, which comes
the closest OF any OF the departments to
being run on a'business basis, years ago
discovered that it couldn't stand for tn
promiscuous use OF rubber bands. So the
postal clerks have to use common string
to tie up their bundles of letters. Fly
haustive efforts have been made to dis
cover some method of punching them that
would be still cheaper, for even the string
item accounts for a considerable part of
the postal deficit. You can't expect great
statesmen to get down to figuring ON these
lttle Items, for that would be Cheese
pairing and so the waste goes merrily ON
by the way here's a dandy pencil-take Il
aLohs-hew Kind they're furnishing our
otflee-and here's a bunch of rubber hands
they'll come in handy-anyway the chill
ureh can make some rubber balls out Of
them-you're welcome-Uncle Sam foots the
Dill you know. Come back when vou'ye
used those up. Goodbye. "-Washington
Pathfinder.