davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
The Proper Way.

1t is not correct to replace chair
when rising from table. When intro
ducing two women it makes no difference
which name is mentioned first unless one
is much older than the other. In that
case the younger is presented to the
older. When any one calls it is not cor
rect to say evil you be seated9" but
"Where will you sit?" or, "Let US sit
here" You would not seat yourself
first when receiving a. lady. A man
would not take seat while a lady is
standing. A man should leave his over
coat and hat in the hall. When making
a call at hotel man sends up his card
by the servant, and a lady would 60
down to the public parlor to receive him.
If stranger calls to see your husband
on business during your husbands
absence, it is not necessary for you to
receive him. You may say that Mr.. So
and-So is not at home.
As general rule, a woman has the
privilege of asking man to call, but she
should be reasonably sure that he would
like to do so, because, IL she invites him
and he does not call she would feel that
she had made an unwelcome advance. A
girl should be particular to introduce her
men friends to her parents. A girl who
has lost her mother, but whose father ia
living, should be guided by her fathers
advice in regard to the choice Of her
men friends. A girls parents may in
vite young men to dine, but girl may
not do so. A young mans evening visit
should not extend beyond ten O'clock
u
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
The Frank Critic.

Frank r. Elwell, the New York sculp.
tor, declared ut Q recent dinner that,
save for the work Of Rodin and ono OF
two others, American sculpture was su'
perior to the French.
"Nor do / speak," said Mr.. Elwell,
smiling, without authority. I will ask
you not to put me In tho category Of
critics to which Sir John Millais' famous
railway porter belonged.
"When Sir John was engaged In paint.
| ing his Chill October among the PUSHES
on the banks of the Tay, near Perth, Q
railway porter from the station at Kin.
fauns used to carry the canvas back and
forth for him.
"The porter was q quaint chap; his
services were called for many days In
regulations; he became quite friendly
with Sir John, and seemed to take q
hearty interest in the progress Of the
painting.
"Weil, Chill October was eventually
finished, and sold little while after
ward for 100 pounds. This fact some
how reached the porter's ears. He met
Sir Johns brother-in-law at Kinfauni
one day, and said excitedly:
Mon, is't true that Sir Johns sold
t. picture and got thoosand poond
for tip
"'Yes, certainly was the reply.
"'A thoosand poond!' repeated the
porter. why, mon, I wadna gren hall
Groom FORTH"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
The Italians Revenge.

A contractor who is doing railroad
work over in New Jersey tells this story
of Italian revenge:
One of his men asked him to give a
friend job.
HE gooda man." said Pietro," worka
like h"
The contractor being short handed
gave orders to employ the man and or
Monday morning Pietro's friend began
work as filler at one of the buckets
used to hoist the dirt from the cut to the
dirt cars. At II O'Clock the same morn.
ing be was on his way to the local hospi'
tai with fractured skull. He had been
working under the bucket, which came
down much faster than usual, giving
him no time to save himself.
Pietro ran the donkey engine which
did the mischief. He vowed that the
accident was not his fault, and proved
that something was wrong with the ma
chinery, so he got off with the loss Of
his job.
Last week Pietro's friend came bach
for his job. He seemed whole again II
body and in fine spirits.
81 fesx Pietro," said he. "Pietro try
to feex me cause marry his girl. HI
no understands fna job. Botch dat ting
all up. feexa him. Give him da girl!
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
CAUSE AND CURE
OF APPENDICITIS
THE SIMPLE REMEDY
THAT EFFECTS THE CURE

Professor Blanchard of the French Academy
of Medicine has spent great amount OF time
studying that dread disease-Appendicttts In
company with Professor Metchnikof, he has
carefully examined numerous cases, and both
have reached the conclusion that the cure is not
the knife In more than forty cases the symp-
toms Of Appendicitis disappeared after the
patients had been treated for worms.
There are, no doubt, many persons suffering
from worms who are enormously attributing
their trouble to some other cause. A few doses
ofDr True's Elixir are sufficient in most cases
for the complete expulsion of the worms.
The presence OF these parasites is easily recog.
rized By the following symptoms Indigestion;
ioul tongue; offensive breath variable appetite;
hard and full belly with occasional gripings AM
pains about the navel; heavy, duleyes itching
IF the nose: short dry cough; grinding OF the
teeth; starting during sleep; slow and frequent
fever; in children-convulsions and bed wetting
DIR. True's Elixir will not only expel the
worms, but will build up the whole system as
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
What the Boer Intended to Say

A detach ment of soldiers was engaged
in clearing q certain district In the
Orange River Colony Of supplies, and
during the operations Colonel Shove
along's staff officer came up to Boer
farmer sitting at the door of his cottage
with a large stack of oat straw in the
background. 81 have orders either to
buy or destroy all forage and food In this
district" said the officer. 81 therefore
give you notice that 1 am about to set
fire to that pile of oat straw"
"Bod 1 tell you" began the stolid
Boer, as he removed his pipe from his
mouth.
"Oh, you may as we'll know straight
off," interrupted the officer, "that re-
sistance and objection are alike futile. ="
bod would you please" once more
began the farmer.
81 can listen to no excuses; I have
neither time nor inclination" was the
impatient rejoinder of the officer as he
hurried away.
"Vell, my DEAR" said the Boer to bis
wife, as the stack of straw burst into
flame and the officer went on bis way
rejoing, "does Khakis are strange PEG.
Piles. l wanted to dell him dat dis vas de
Oat straw l half sold to de colonel hall
an hour ago."
Thus saying, he meditatively jingled
the British sovereigns in his pocket.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
Only One Sea Power.


In the audacity Of puny triumphs ma
lions are called sea powers. But there
is only one sea power and that is the sea
itself. "Far famed our navies melt
away"-Within hundred yards of the
best chared shore stout ships are as
bubbles. That sea that is as familiar
when calm to little boats and ferries and
tugs as are the thoroughfares of a city to
its crowds of humanity takes on all the
aspect of chaotic terror when winds and
storms prevail. The waters so close as
to reflect the friendly lights of the great
metropolis are as alien to the forces OF
men as are the depths of the furthest
ocean. Lord Bryon's "Apostrophe" has
lost none of its tremendous reality in all
the progress from the little wooden
sailers to our greatest merchantmen and
ironclads. Nor can its truth be lessen
ed in all the maturest development we
can dream of.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
Don't Bea- Malice.

A man who harbOrs malace IS liable
to commit murder. A man who hates
another a long time is sure to get into
a fight with him sooner or later. and
when the fight finally comes there is
likely to be mischief done. Men wait
fo- years for the first blow, and the
first blow is liable to be with deadly
instrument. Don't waste your energy
IN hating people. Such course would
make you wretched and finally get yOn
into trouble.-AtchisOn Globe.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
Key to tho Puzzler.

No. 49.-COnnected Word Square:
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17

Dough is made out Of wheat. real
estate. oil. literature and magazine ar,
ticles. But dough made Of wheat is no
stickier than any other. Dough is the
prior fact to bread, motor cars, steam
yachts and collections Of old books. II
Is the staff Of high life. 1t imbitters
matrimony and purveys the lovely
scandals we read about. 1t gets girls
sent off to college and fitted to be
something more spectacular than mere
wives and mothers. 1t curseth them
that go in for 1t, but not unto the third
and fourth generations. We are too
good spenders for that. 1t is from
dough that the dowdy. the dull and
the dotty derive distinction otherwise
,lenied.-Puck.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17

POPPED THE BOY INTO HIS BAG, AND OFf
HE WENT.
angry. The next day he went to the
little boys house and knocked at tn,
door.
ut SHOWS and 1t blows and 1t cuts
my nose. Please let me come in ant
warm my toes and light my pipe ant
off l goes" he said.
NO" said the little boy, "Tm afraid
you'll carry me off,"
"No. won't"
Eyes. you will"
mo, won't"
So the little boy let him come In.
He sat down by the fire and warmed
his toes and lit his pipe and popped the
little boy into bag, and Off he went.
This time he did not stop OH the way
home. When he reached the house he
nut the little boy in room and locked
the door.
When the man had gone the little
boy looked around for a way to es
cape. Finally he spied the fireplace
but just as he was climbing out Of the
top of the chimney he heard the man
coming after him.
"Ah. haw said the man. ~ have
you now, my fine fellow. How will
YOU get down."
Of you throw me up rope" said
the boy, 81 can tie 1t around my waist
and you can pull me down"
So the man threw the rope, and the
boy caught It. Quickly he tied 1t about
the chimney.
"Now pull" he called.
The man pulled. and the chimney
came down on top Of him. Then the
little boy climbed down and ran home
Elsie and Bob each gave n great
sigh of relief.
"Tell 1t again." said Bob. But nam.
ma laughed and shook her head.
"Was he really hurt, mamma?' ask.
cd Elsie.
"No. dear" said mamma. 81 think
he was only frightened, so that he did
not NEEDLE with the little boy again
and so they lived peacefully ever aft
err. Washington Post
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
t Snowe
It Blows.

Swish, swish. came the snow against
the window. "Wo-o-o" called the wind
In the chimney. Elsie and Bob drew
their chairs nearer to mamma In her
seat by the open fire.
"Now, mamma" they said almost to-
gether. tell us the story that grandma
used to tell you when you were little"
So mamma began:
Once there was little boy who lived
all by himself in house at the foot OF
the hill. and once there was big man
who lived all by himself in big house
at the top Of the hill.
One day the man went to the little
door and knocked.
1T SHOWS and 1t blows and 1t cuts
nv nose. Please let Inc come In and
warm my toes and light my pipe and
off goes"
The little boy said: mo. I am afraid
you will carry me off,"
mo. won't"
Eyes. you WILL"
"No. l won't"
And so the little boy let him In.
He sat down by the fire and warmed
his toes and lit his pipe and popped the
little boy into his bag. and off he went.
But the boy was heavy. and the man
dropped the bag behind rock while
he went to get drink"
When he had gone the little boy
climbed out Of the bag. filed 1t up with
stones and ran away home.
When the man reached home and
saw the trick which had been played
upon him he was very much vexed.
The next day he went again to the
boys home and knocked at the door.
He said: ut SHOWS and 1t blows and
1t cuts my nose. Please let me come in
and warm my toes and light my pipe
and off goes"
"No. I'm afraid you'll carry me OF"
mo. | won't"
"Yes. you WILL"
"No. I won't"
So the little boy let him in.
He sat down by the fire and warmed
his toes and lit his pipe and popped
the little boy into his bag. and off he
went.
But the little boy was heavy, and the
man put the bag down behind stone
while he took a little rest. Pretty soon
the man fell fast asleep.
AS soon as the man was asleep the
little boy slipped out Of the bag, filled
It with sand and ran away home.
When the man reached home and
found no boy In the bag he was very
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
Do Fish Feel Pain7

How sensitive to pain are fish? A
correspondent writes: II have small
pond which is stocked with trout.
keep an accurate account Of those I
catch and note when I lose any. One
morning a big rainbow trout broke the
worm hook with which ] had hooked
him. That evening l hooked and land
ed a good trout, also with worm tackle,
which proved to be my friend Of the
morning, as right down in his stomach
was the broken gut and hook, and, be-
side this. in his lip was March brown
fly hook which. according to my fish
ing book, must have been there many
weeks. A fish with fly hook in his
mouth, a worm hook in his stomach
and ready to gulp down bait must be
quite impervious to what we mortals
call pain"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
THE STUPID SWAN.
Graceful and Beautiful, the Bird 10 a
Nipcopboop.

Graceful and Beautiful, the Bird Is a
Nineompoop.
To tie mini of the average farmer
nothing which walks on two legs Is
quite so stupid as hen He Is mis-
taken, though, for there stu remains
that beautiful, graceful; :iincompoop,
the common swan. The swan Is so
stupid that 1t will stand In the shallow
part of pond and allow the water to
freeze round Its legs till the Ice Is so
thick that Is cannot lift It's feet and 1t
Is stuck fast. Not infrequently owners
Of these handsome but witless birds
are compelled to chop away sufficient
Ice to make 1t possible for them to
withdraw their imprisoned feet.
The stupidity Of the swan In this
respect Is emphasized by the intelll-
gence exhibited by ornamental ducks
when the weather turns cold. As
night comes on and the water begins
to freeze the ducks begin swimming
in a wide, we'll defined circle. Round
and round they 80 during the entire
night, keeping all the water within
that circle free from Ice. so that when
the day dawns they can float about
and doze in the sun. Ducks are al.
ways most active during the night and
choose the day for sleeping.
But to return to the swan. II you
find one Of these birds some distance
from the water and startle 1t. the swan
will rush few feet toward the pond
and then drop down on the ground and
try to go through the motions of swim
ming, apparently unable in Its fright
to realize that 1t has not yet reached
the water.
Neither is the common swan good
fighter. The black swan. although
one-half its size. is invariably the vic
tor in the combats which are some
times engaged In and generally kills
It's antagonist. The black swan usually
provokes the fight. too, for II Is rather
a quarrelsome bird.-Washinston Sia".
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
An Orkney PRAYER.

The brevity Of the Orkney summer
precluding the raising Of hardly any
thing except oats ("aits'D and barley,
the elders had requested the minister
to pray for good harvest weather. He
complied as follows: Lord. gle us
Draw weather and a wee bit saugh OF
breeze that will dree the straw and
will nae harm the heads. but II We
blaw us sic bletherin'. irwin, tearin'
blast as we has been hahn yell play
the vera mischief WI the ats and fair
ly spoil al"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17

No. 50.-Beheadings and Curtailinss;
1. Change. . States. 3. Lovers
1. Proves.
No. 51.-Jumbled Titles: ''rhe House
of the Seven Gables" "Grandfathers
Chair" "Alice's Adventures In Won,
derland" THE Water Babies
BLACK Beauty" Little Men," Lit,
tie Women" Treasure Island" 'Bi'
ography OF a Grizzly" Old Curiosity
Shop" Rob Roy" Fair Maid OF
Perth"
No. 52.-Charades: l. My. sir-miser
II. Orbs, cured-o(pbscured. obscured
No. dissatisfaction Puzzle: Fealty
No. 54.-Primal Acrostic: Macedonia
l. Medea. 2. Argos. 3. Caius. 4
Egypt. 5. Datis. 6. Omega. I. Niobe
6. Italy. 9. Agave.
No. 55.-Noted Writers: l. Frances
Hodgson Burnett. 9. Henry Wads'
worth Longfellow. 3. Robert Burns
4. Edgar Allan Poe. ). Oliver Wen,
dell Holmes. 6. Jane Austin. Z. Char,
lotte Bronte
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
NO CASE ON RECORD.

There is no case on record of cough
or cold resulting in pneumonia or con-
sumption after Foley's Honey and Tar
has been taken, as it will stop your
cough and break up your cold quickly.
Refuse any but the genuine Foley's
Honey and Tar in yellow package.
Contains no opiates and is safe and sure.
For sale by all druggists.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
be Good
Goblin.
H fairy Gale.

Once upon a time. long. long ago.
there lived a little goblin who was
very. very good and always did as be
was told.
But he wasn't happy-no, not bit
because all the other COLLINS made 1t
point to lie naughty, and they laugh
ed aud jeered at him, which made
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
A Curious Word.

There Is a curious word in the die
tionary spelled "l-i-a-r-d' that means
so many different things that if man
should tell you that he had one at
home you could not tell whether he
meant small French coin, dapple
gray horse or a balsam poplar tree.
OF course, if he said he had one in his
pocket you would know it was the
coin, for men do not usually carry
dapple gray horses or balsam poplar
trees in their pockets, but it is a very
confusing word and should not be used
except when you have nothing else to
say and really must say something.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
No. 60.-A Definition.
Y. o. D. d. \. A simpleton, bird.
No. 61.-Novel Acrostic.

When the words arc rightly guessed
and written one below another the In
itials will name famous author, and
another row of letters will name one
of his works.
/. A short coat. 2. To throw liSh,
upon. 3. Large black birds. 4. \ vio
lent twist. 5. a means Of defense form
ed by felled trees. 6. Affectionate. I. A
deathlike stupor. s. Worn away. D
To diminish. 10. A beetle sacred tc
the Egyptians. II. Vast assemblages
-. The eighth part of circle. ID
Fear that agitates body and mind. IA
One who makes business Of buying
and selling.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
The Supreme Test.

He was no coward; nay, rather, men
had even called him brave. At the peril
of his life he bad stopped runaway
horses, had plunged into the sea to
rescue child from drowning, and had
calamity charged up San Juan Hill in
the face of the Spanish bullets. But
now his face paled and he trembled.
81 dare not" he muttered. "But," he
added resolutely, "since she whom
vowed to love and cherish has asked 1t
of me, will not falter."
So, with calm courage and a resolute
mien, he descended to the kitchen to dis
charge the cook
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17

Baked bananas are the ideal food for
nervous persons and brain-workers. This
food will unfailingly build up and
strengthen lean, blood-poor persons.
The banana should be baked In its skin
in an oven for fifteen or twenty minutes,
until it is quite soft and bursts open.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
MANY snffsrers from nasal catarrh {

Many sufferers from nasal catarrh say
they get splendid results by using an
atomizer. For their benefit We prepare
Ely's Liquid Cream Balm. Except that
it is liquid it is in all respects like the
healing, helpful, pain-allaying Cream
Balm that the public has been familiar
with for years. No cocaine nor other
dangerous drug in it. The soothing
spray is q remedy that relieves at once.
All druggists, 75c., including spraying
tube, or mailed by Ely Bros, So Warren
Street, New York,
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17

The old lady who distinguished her
pies by marking them with ct" sig.
nifying I" tits mince and faint mince,"
has been outdone by the culinary expert
of little hotel among the Green Mount
aims. The chance guest had finished the
serious part of a wholesome dinner, when
the cook, who was also waitress and
landlady, asked him If he didn't want
some pie.
"What sort of pie have your" he asked
expectantly. -.
"Well, we've got three kinds" said
the hostess, "open-faced, cross-barred,
and kivered- all apple"
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
ThePu zzler
No. 56.-Word Changes.

1. Change map to box in four moves.
2. Change cup to pen in three moves,
8. Change cart to pole in five moves.
4. Change you to him in five moves.
8. Change good to best in six moves.
6. Change out to top in four moves.
By changing one letter at time a
new word Is formed.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17

A severe cold that may develop into
pneumonia over night, can be cured
quickly by taking Foley's Honey and
Tar. 1t will cure the most obstinate
racking cough and strengthen your
lungs. The genuine is in a yellow pack
age. For sale by all druggists.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17

To improve the eyebrows, when thin
or scurfy, apply to them little salad oil
OF castor oil on retiring to bed at night.
Be careful to smooth the brows the right
way after applying the oil, or you will
do more harm than good and very likely
produce little crop of wrinkles just
above the nose.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
GIVEN UP TO DIE.

B. Spiegel, 1904 N. Virginia St, Evans.
vile, Ind, writes: "For over five years
was troubled with kidney and bladder
affections which caused me much pain
and worry. lost flesh and was all run
down, and a year ago had to abandon
work entirely. l had three of the best
physicians who did me no good and
was practically given up to die. FOley's
Kidney cuge was recommended and the
first bottle gave me great relief, and
after taking the second bottle was en-
tirely cured" Why not let it help you?
For sale by all druggists.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17

"Now, WILLIE" said the bad boys
mother sternly, "It's time you realized
the futility of struggling against the In
evitable. Do you know what that
means?"
"Yes'm," replied the boy promptly;
SIT means they amt no use you washin'
my face an hands, cause they'll only
git dirty again."
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
FOR SALE.

2 l-2 story dwelling-house, pleasantly
located in the village of West Paris.
Consists of nine rooms and bathroom,
shed and stable. About 3-4 acre of land,
with apple and pear trees. The build
ings are situated high from the street,
with broad piazza shaded with vines,
commanding fine view. A spring OF
pure water on premises. These build
ings are well and prettily furnished and
the owner would be glad to sell the
furniture aud furnishings with the
house. This is great bargain and will
be sold on reasonable terms. Call on OF
address, W. J. Wheeler, South Paris,
Maine.
Oxford Democrat. [volume] (Paris, Me.) 1833-1933, 1908-03-17
No. s2.-concealed Proverb.

How wondrous and beautiful is the
landscape on snowy day when look
ing from the window you see before
you the trees arrayed in fairy robes OF
glistening white, and your heart leaps
with joy at the jingle Of the merry
sleighbells drawing near.