The Marion daily mirror. (Marion, Ohio) 1892-1912, 1908-07-04

gained a legal residence, and appoint
ed the dear old chap as a justice OF
the peace!
That was how II all started. Tib
knew all about circuses and stock
companies but his legal lore. like
Joe Smiths Bible, was largely mat.
ter of inspiration. Yet he bowed to
The public will and slipped on the
yoke. Really. he felt more happy and
chesty over that miserly. little, scant.
lily paid Office than II he had cap.
tured a whole bevy OF grand llamas
for side.show attraction. or course,
he swore me in as clerk, explaining
] was the only man on earth who
could read his writing. And, this
done, he began to yearn and banker
for a litigation. He had an idea that
the, hitherto accepted theory Of juris-
prudence was crude and noisy, and
should be fitted out with ball-bearing
He simply pined away the first honr
of his incumbency for the want of a
test case.
"IIe had just busted off two volumes
Of statutes and was betting five
pounds of Somebody on Mortgages,
and had expressed hope we would
have busy simmer, when Hiram
Duzer farmland, rushed into the Of
flee and begged for several quarts OF
undiluted justice.
What kind do you want?' asked
Tib, neryously, opening the statutes
with rather a timid hand.
"A warrant fer tn arrest of John
Peasly an Jasper Turner, store.keep.
ers, fer maxim off with valuable pa.
pers. cried Hiram.
Papers consisting OF what?' pro-
pounded, to give Tib his cue.
Slas Higbutton's las will an tes.
lament explained Duzer, solemnly.
Felony cried Tib, eying some
tax receipts wisely. Hand me blank
warrant, Billy
And after Id found a chrome that
looked like a board of health danger
signal. he gracefully scratched 1t with
his pen and called in lame constable
and told him to do his duty.
Hate like sin ter do IT, demurred
the officer, limping to the door. They'll
come. all right, but they'll be so mad
they may lick ye. They nsver stole
nothin'.'
Il whispered to Tib to put on the
brakes and coast a bit, even II he
couldn't back.pedal | reminded him
Hiram was a care-free wag who al.
ways decorated the town hall for the
knights of Pythias ball and played In
the band, and largely attended to
somebody else's business except his
own. wished HI TO give a bond, but
Tib insisted hired man could quaff
as deeply and freely at. the spring of
justice as any village store'keepers,
and In about 80 minutes i'easly and
Turner drifted in, escorted by a
large rural chorus and the only two
legal lanterns In town,
Lawyer Remmy a tall. thin, sad.
faced man. folded his arms. and, sink.
ing his head on his chest. much like
the Little Corsican. eyed the court
sternly and demanded why his two
clients had been arrested
"Tib cheerfully informed him. and
gently asked the hired man II he were
appearing by counsel. Then Lawyer
Rilger. another thin one, took the
first position in repulsing a bayonet
charge. and said he owned HI.
Very we'll. said TIN, shu6iing the
leaves OF Webster's Unabridged to
find the Latin quotations. Let the
prisoners plead
AT this Brother Remmy broke
loose, and beginning with Mount Sina
tapped every legal precept that ever
emerged from bench In the court.
face, and begged to inform the court
sir, that when Ethan Allen indulgec
In D little joke on Fort Ticondefogs
the Remmy forebears were not lurkini
in the background. With this per
sonal prelude he wound up with men
tion OF the Green Mountain Boys, theI
quoted section from Tom Paine
Age OF Reason, and finally declare,
Hiram was a scalawag and blood re
laSlon or Ananlas.
M clients, he added, ia a soft
hushed voice, are only guilty Of re
- - "i.A'-". s's' -"- - 49, 49, 49, ~.