davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03
Her Redeemina Feature.


An only son had just told the family
that he was engaged and to whom.
Ma-What, that girl? Why, she
squints.
Sister-She has absolutely no style.
Auntie-Red headed, isn't she?
Grandma-I'm afraid she's fidgety
Uncle-She hasn't any money.
First Cousin-She doesn't look strong.
Second Cousin-She's stuck up.
Third Cousin-She's an extravagant
thing.
The Son (thoughtfully)-Well, she's
got one redeeming feature, anyhow.
Chorus-What's that?
Ths Son-She hasn't a relative on
earth.
Pa-Grab her, my boy; grab her!
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03
Natural ENOUGH.

A suffering man was once arraigned
before a magistrate
"What is your name?7 asked the
magistrate
''S-s-s-s-sis-s-s-s," began the prisoner.
whats that?"
'S-s-s-s-sis-s-s-s, Kissed the sufferer
His names Sisson," interrupted the
policeman who had made the arrest
He suffers"
80 it seems. What's he charged
with?"
81 don't know, your honor" said the
policeman. at seems to be soda wa
ter"
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03

An EvasIve Answer.
A lady, sending a green servant to
answer the doorbell. said, "If anybody
asks if l am in, give an evasive an
swer."
"Who was it?" asked the mistress
when the servant returned.
"a gentleman who wanted to see
you, ma'am, and ] gave him an eva
sive answer
"What did you say?"
81 asked MIN If his grandmother was
monkey"
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03
New Testament Wisdom.

Little Mabels grandfather had been
reading the New Testament to her,
and the parallels seemed to arrest her
attention. Her mother, going into the
kitchen about dinner time, overheard
Mabel talking in peremptory man
ner to the servants. When asked what
she had been saying, she replied:
"Oh, nothing. l was only Gtelling
those wicked and slothful servants to
hurry up dinner" -I.ippincott's.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03
The Alternative.

Suburban Hose Ito unexpected sup
per guest-Now, then, Miss Hobson,
will you have q little of this rabbit pie
or-er-or cooking around and discov
ering there is no other dishl--or uctp--
London Taller.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03
An Honest Opinion.
lean Ingelow.

Mrs. Ruggles Of South Pittsburg Wis
tied the Carnegie institute and had
been much interested in the statuary
on exhibition there.
On giving an account of the trip to
a neighbor she said, 81 have seen that
fellow what they call Adonis, and I've
seen Ruggles. and of the two give me
Ruggles. ''-Lippincott's.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03
The Bishops Job.

A bishop was staying with friend
in a country house. On Sunday morn
ing as he passed through the library he
found small boy curled up in a big
chair deeply interested in a book.
"Are you going to church, Tom" he
asked
NO sir" he replied.
why. l am
you've got to go. It's your job
Ladies' Home Journal.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03
Simple and LOGICAL.

A teacher observed what he thought
a lack of patriotic enthusiasm In one
OF the boys under his instruction.
"Now, Tommy" said he, tell us
what you would think If you saw the
stars and stripes waving over the field
of battle"
Il should think that the wind was
blowing. Ladies' Home Journal.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03

sentiment has accorded us this one. So
there"
The judge looked down at the prose
cutor, and the prosecutor looked up at
the judge, and the question was
passed.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03
The Country's Need.

81 say" said the old lady with the
high pitched voice as the jerkwater
slowed down at Grigsby station-"I
say. what is all this fuss about edu-
catin' boys to be civil engineers? The
thing that this ere country really
needs is a few civil conductors and
less sassy brakemen. "-Lippincott's.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03
Cupid's Lucky Day.

"What is the best and luckiest day
to be married on?" somebody once
asked an old gypsy whose fame as a
sibyl had spread far and wide. The
venerable dame smiled sardonic
smile and answered in oracular fash
ion: To-day is never lucky. nor yet
tomorrow. The only lucky day is yes
terday."
But there is a popular rhyme. so pop
ular and so well known that perhaps
ought not to quote it yet again, that
tells us definitely what sort of luck,
good, bad or Indifferent, we may ex-
pect according to what day we have
chosen on which to appear before the
lQltar Of Hymen.
Monday for wealth,
Tuesday for health,
Wednesday the best of ALL
Thursday for crosses,
Friday for losses.
Rturday no luck at all!
us said to be the luckiest
Marriage, though June is
y fortunate May is sup
most unlucky month
but | have known
ages that have been
,,,perous and happy
odern Society.
Weh,;on
averican girls
Y cexions as
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03
A Lincoln Retort.

A Lincoln Retort.
A woman once wrote to Abraham
Lincoln asking for a sentiment and
his autograph.
He answered promptly:
Dear Madam-When you write to a
stranger asking the favor of a letter, al
ways inclose a postage stamp, There's
the sentiment. Here's the autograph:
A. LINCOLN.
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03

Constant success shows us but Ollie
side of the world, for it surrounds us
with fatterers, who will tell us only
our merits, and silences our enemies,
from whom alone we might learn our
defects
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03

A man had been employed to make
an inventory of the furniture in the
Mouse. He was SO long about his task
the parlor, however, that the mis-
Is of the mansion went to see what
Has doing On the floor lay an
bottle. On the sofa lay the man
But the inventory had not
" forgotten. At the top Of
god solitary eloquent en-
giving carpet"
The citizen. (Frederick City, Md.) 1895-1923, 1908-01-03
About Eleven Head.


An evangelist journeying through
darkest South Carolina stopped at a
cabin swarming with children and ask
ed of the young negress who responded
to his knock how many children she
had.
well, I've buried some, of co'se, but
Alivin' / reckon l got bout 'leven head"
v Other Name Would Do as Well
ignified gentleman was trying to
Il crowded railroad train. Among
Cengers was lady with
title blue eyed girl with gold
an inquisitive tongue. She
KNITTED gentleman numer-
Aplayed with his watch
ored to determine by
pns ON his waistcoat
b man, poor man,
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21
SECRETARY WIN. TAFT
TO ADDRESS LAWYERS

Nashville. Tenn, Nav 2I-Secre.
tary William H. Taft will deliver his
first address since his return from
Panama before the Tennessee State
Bar association. which convened in
annual session in this city today.
While the address of the war secre-
tary will be the most important fen-
ture, there will be numerous other
speeches and papers on important
topics by leading legal authorities Of
the South. Secretary Taft's attitude
to the negro question has commended
him to the people of the South and
he will be given cordial reception
when he appears before the lawyers
of the state.
The Bar association Of Tennessee
WAS organized in Nashville twenty
seven years ago with that distinguish
ed jurist. Judge William F. Cooper
as ,ts first president.
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21
PARADE OF MADMEN.

Guthrie. Okla. May 2i-Several
hundred buggies. carriages and other
vshicles were used to transport the
insane patients from the railroad
station at Fargo to the new state
asylum at Fort Supply. ten miles dis
tant, forming one Of the most novel
processions ever seen In Oklahoma.
The work Of transferring the patients
from the private sanitarium at Nor.
man to Fort Supply will not be com.
pleted until July. The former gov.
ernnent military post which will
Hereafter be used M home for the
insane is ten miles from railroad.
and all the patients Will have to be
transported overland.
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21
MEMORIAL DAY WAS
ORIGINATED BY LOGAN

The readers Of the Daily Tribune
will be interetsed in know ing some
thing Of she history Of Memorial day.
sacred to the memory Of those who
volunteered their lives that the Re-
public might live and that "Old
Glory might wave forever.
The order instituting the obsery-
anoe of such a day was issued by
General John A. Logan, then COM
mander- in chief of the Grand Army
Of the Republic at Washington. D. G.,
May 25, 1858.
General Logan's order ded icating
such day to the memory of the old
soldiers was as follows:
''We should guard their graves
with sacred vigilance. All that the
consecrated wealth and taste of the
nation can add to their adornment
and security ia but fitting tribute to
the memory Of her slain defenders
Let no wanton foot tread rudely on
such hallowed grounds. Let pleasant
paths invite the coming and the go.
ing of reverent visitors and fond
mourners. Let no vandalism Of
avarice and neglect, no ravages of
time, testify to the present or to the
coming generation that wo have for
gotten as people the cost Of free
and undivided Republic
III other eyes grow dull and other
hands slack and other hearts old in
the solemn trust ours shall keep it
we'll as long as the light and warmth
Of life remain in Us.
Let us then, at the time appoint
ed, gather round their sacred remains
and garland passionless mounds above
them. with the choicest flowers of
springtime; let us raise above them
the dear old flag they saved from dis
homer; let us in the solemn presence
renew our pledges to aid and assist
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21
$1oO Reward, s1oo.

The readers of this paper will be pleased to
that science has been able TO cure Ia All its
stages and that il Catarrh. HaIls Catsrrh
the medical fraternity. Cstarrh being a con-
stitutional disease requires . constitutional
trestment. Halls Cata. .rh Cure is taken nser.
cous surfac Of tho tys' sIn, thereby destroying
the foundation Of the diseaso and giving tho
patient strength BY building mp tho constitu.
The proprietors have so much faith 10 its
curative powers that they offer One Hundred
Dollars for any caoe that it fails to cure. Send
for list of testimonials
Address r. ], CHENEY d Co. Toledo, o.
Sold BY all Druggists 75c.
Take Halls Family Pills for constipation.
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21

those whom they have left among us
q sacred charge upon . nations graft.
tude-the soldiers aud sailors wild
ow aud orphan.
"It is the purpose of the command.
erin chief to inaugurAte this obser.
vance with the hope that it will be
kept up from year to year while a
survivor Of the army remains to
honor the memory Of his departed
comrade. y
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21
GET SOME NEWs-Now that ii

GET SOME NEWS-Now that the
election Is over in Denver subscrib-
ers to the Denver newspapers can ex-
pect to see less mud singing in those
sheets for the next few weeks. For
the last month their columns have
been filled with charges and counter
charges and other kinds Of slush
which was of no interest to people
outside of the city of Denver. The
important news events of the day was
thrown out and the political gossip
given the preference.
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21
LADY e0DIvA 0UTD0ME
BY A FRENCH ACTRESS

Paris. May 2l--When AN English
musio hall favorite, impersonating
Lady Godivs. appeared in the Coyen-
try spectacle last year clad only in
tights, all England held up its hand
in holy horror. One shudders to
think Of what would happen to those
Puritans if they should come TO Paris
and see La Belle Marie Flaubert
in her very latest sensation, 1.-THE
Dance Of Eye.' Even Paris has
been shocked at the spectacle-so
shocked that the standing room
only" sign is displayed every night
at the playhous where Marie is
the delight of the Partisan Johnnies.
Marie wears the historical costume
OF Mother Eve. a fig leaf-and very
tiny. little fig leaf-that. and moth
ing more. The authorities have
threatened to interfere with the per.
formance- threatened. and nothing
more And now-horror Of horrors
Marie promises to discard the fig leaf.
"And why should not lady ap-
pear on the stage in the altogether"
inquiries Marie and all Paris has
taken up the question. The press is
filed with communications and inter-
views on this important topic. and
Marie has found defenders even among
the "immortals" of the academy
1t is declared by some prominent
writers that condition of nudity
would be even less Objectionable from
ethical and artistic viewpoints, than
the costumes now being worn in pub
lie by certain leaders Of Partisan
society.
There are few obiectors to the
proposition of Mile. Marie. but their
protests are lost in the great flood OF
oommendatory comment that Is fill
ing the newspapers. Apparently. II
public sentiment is to decide the mat.
ter, Marie will soon be seen in a
realistic presentation Of Eve before
the fall. With anticipatory thrills
Of delight, Paris awaits the comments
which will certainly follow in what
1t terms the "prudish press" Of Eng
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21
BANKERS VISIT MINES.

Joplin Mo. May 2l-A trolley car
and automobile excursion through
the Joplin mining district this after.
noon Is the closing feature Of the
most successful convention ever held
by the Missouri Bankers association.
4 he election of officers and delegates
to the American Bankers convention
was tho principal business transacted
today. The report Of Secretary W.
B. Keyser, Of Sedalia. shows that the
membership Of the Missouri Bankers
ASSOCIATION Is /, 1856. representing about
% per cent Of the banking institu.
tions Of the state.
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21
WhO0ping Cough.

''In February our daughter had the
whooping cough. Mr.. Lane. Of
HArtland. recommended Chamberlain =
Cough Remedy and said It gave his
customen the best OF satisfaction.
We found It ~ hc said, and can roc.
ommend u to anyone having children
troubled with wbooping cough"
Gays Nm. A. Cos. Of DurHnd. Mich.
kos sale BY Dauisl's drug store. ~
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21

The latest report from high society
indicates that Cupid is getting q rough
deal. The latest report from this mod
ern laundry establishment is that every
one il getting square deal and always
will. You will find it worth your while
to entrust US with the handling Of the
most delicate fabrics for the-e Il no pos
sibility Of our injurinR them In any way,
for we use no acids or other injurious
to be favored with your continued pat
ronage.
FLORENCE sTEArI LAUNDRY
,i2 santa Fe Avenue
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21

OPPORTUNITIES IN LAND SOUTH
One fare plus ~. 90 to certain points
in Texas and New Mexico and return
for homeseekers. via Colorado and
Southern; liberal limit and stop.
overs. Full information on applica-
tion. 7. E. Fisher. General Passen :
ger Agent.
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21
PAY YOUR BILLS

with check instead Of cash. Then you
will have both record Of your payment
and receipt as we'll. Checks on the
State Bank are good as gold. You can
secure book of them by opening an ac-
count there. You avoid lots of trouble
and dignity your business by their use.
FLORENCE STATE BANK
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21
Most Common Cause OF Suffering.

Rheumatism causes more pain and
suffering than any other disease, for
tie reason that it it is the most COM
mon of all ills, and it is certainly
gratifying to sufferers to know that
Cliamberlain's Liniment will afford
relief, and make rest and sleep possi
BILE. In many cases the relief from
pain. which is at first temporary,
has become permanent, while In old
people subject to chronic rheuma-
tism, often brought on by dampness
or changes In the weather. per-
manent cure cannot be expected the
relief from pain which this lini-
ment affords is alone worth many
times its cost. % and so cent sizes
for sale by Daniels Drug store. it's
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21

Military dance and card party
given by the U r. X. of P. and Flor
eDce Military band. Thursday even
ing May 2s, iu Morgan hall, Ad.
mission 81. Music by Florence Or
chestra. If you don't dance, come
and play cards. 67-72
The daily tribune., 1908-05-21

Colorado College annual Interschol-
Springs May 49, Dates of sale May
23. Return limit May 8, $l.95 for
round trip. 68-7l
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-13
SENATOR FORAKER EXPLAINS
HIS FRIENDS DID NOT TAKE
PART IN OHIO PRIMARIES.
He Says That Consequently There
Was No Opposition to Selec-
ton Of Taft Delegates.

Senator J. B. Foraker last night gave
out statement as to the result of the
primary elections in Ohio Tuesday. when
the Taft forces made practically a clean
sweep in the selection of delegates to
the coming republican state convention.
In his statement Senator Foraker says:
Nobody should be either surprised or
misled by the result of the primaries
held in Ohio yesterday. 1t has been COM
mon knowledge for weeks that the call
for these primaries was of such a charac-
ter that my friends throughout the state
refused to participate Consequently there
was no opposition to the selection Of
Taft delegates. Under such circumstances
he would, of course, carry everything.
THAT the result of the primaries does
not indicate anything conclusive should
be manifest from the fact that the total
vote pOlled will not represent more than
10 per cent Of the republicans of Ohio.
There were only two districts in which
there was any approach to a contest. and
these contests were due to the fact that
there were opposing candidates in each
district for the nomination to Congress.
I'm the sixth district the Taft candi-
date was defeated by LOIS. while in the
fifteenth district, Mr.. Dawes the Taft
leader. who was candidate for renom-
fnation, Is probably beaten, according
to the latest advices have received. II
there had been a primary in which we
could have participated similar results
would have been possible, If not probable,
all over the state
Recurring to the state convention, 1t
should be borne in mind that it will be
composed Of the representatives of only
one faction of the party. Not because
the people have SO decided, but because
the course of the Taft managers was
such as to bar everybody else from par
ticipation.'
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-13
CIVIC CELEBRATION.
Opening Of Municipal Building to
Re Marked nv EYercises

Commissioner Mcfarland conferred this
morning with Cuno H. Rudolph president
of the Board Of Trade. and Robert N.
Harper, president of the Chamber of
Commerce. as to a civic celebration of
the opening of the new District building,
and it was agreed that representative
citizens committee, comprising membe RI
Of the two organizations. should be ap-
pointed by their respective presidents, to-
gether with represe natives Of the citi-
zens' associations. to plan and prepare
for such a celebration as will mark in a
simple but impressive manner the oc-
casion. and which would also be celebra.
ton of the completion Of thirty years OF
the District government under its present
system.
President Cuno H. Rudolph of the
Washington Board OF Trade has appointed
Messrs. John b. Larner, Thomas w.
Smith and William G. Henderson a COM
mittee to carry out the resolutions adopt
ed looking to a consideration of the
merger proposed Of the two trade bodies
of the District. The foregoing committee
will meet with a similar committee of
the Chamber Of Commences, and an effort
will be made to arrive at some conclusion
in the matter.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-13

Is running second, with Leimbach,
Rupert, May, Lusby, Childress,
Haight, Townsend, Schneider,
Mueller, Bradley and Sanford
coming down the stretch close be-
hind. Which one will come under
the wire first in the question?
Ask your friends to get busy,
because there are many dark
horses that are saving up their
strength for the finish. Fill out
the coupon below, and add another
vote for your favorite grocer. To
those who do not understand
please look at Auth Provision Co. S
ad. on page 9, Sundays Star.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-13

III. then, all these religious and mora
agencies and forces are in their very ma
ture educational forces. 1t ought not to be
impossible to bring them into effective ed
ucational unity. No man builds his man
hood out of material furnished by him
self. A self-made man is conception a
unscientific as perpetual motion. The
largest part of what we call our char
acters is made up of contributions from
other lives.
And what shall be the law of the in
tellectual and spiritual commerce or
which the entire product of character de-
ponds. 1t must be the law of friendship
The right relation Of human beings finds
his JOY in giving as much as he can to all
with whom he has to do and in sharing
his best with all to whom he can be OF
service"
In Memory Of Lincoln.
Eloquent tribute to- the life and char
acter of the first martyr President was
voiced by Rabbi Cries in his Abraham
Lincoln Memorial Address More than
forty years have passed since the death
of Abraham Lincoln" he said. lone year
from tonight we shall celebrate the Tooth
greatest man whom the republic has pro-
duced-one of the truly great of all his
tory.
I'm my boys room at home hangs the
picture of the rude log cabin-the birth.
place of Lincoln. What one of us was
born under conditions SO lowly, in home
SO poor? Wonderful is the story of his
wonderful life. OF the humblest parent
age-a poor farmers son, railsplitter, a
flatboatman. a country clerk. a country
lawyer, President of the nation-his life
story teaches the most impressive lesson
in the history of America. 1t reveals the
possibility of the poor in a democracy
Behold Lincoln On the day Of his death.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-13
LACK OF DEVELOPMENTS.
Nothing Of Interest Today in Print
ing Office Investigation.

The statement was made at the govern
ment printing Office this afternoon that
the investigation there is proceeding. but
there was nothing in the way of develop
ments to be given to the public. 1t is
said the investigators are having some
fun concerning the installation of the
system to hunt for lost motion
When the congressional investigators
resume operations. IL Is said. the matter
of the alleged connection of the Audit
System with the Audit Supply Company
and the Suffolk Distributing Company
will be probed to the bottom.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-13
TO BUILD A HOME.
Plans Of Purchaser Of Connecticut
Avenue Lot,

Arthur p Steward of Garrett Park, Nd.
has just bought. from Thomas ]. Fisher
Co.. Inc. the lot at the northeast cor
ner of Connecticut avenue extended and
oliver street. In Chevy Chase. D. c.. for
81. 900. Mr. Steward will build a residence
for his own use during the coming sum-
mer.
Evening star. [volume] (Washington, D.C.) 1854-1972, 1908-02-13
SALE OF BUSINESS PROPERTY.
Report Of Realty Transaction in
Northeast SAction

The Moore & Hill Real Estate Company
has sold for Nathan Edelson to J. 80.
Honey the store property at the north
west corner of 18th and b streets north
east. The purchase was made as an in
vestmeut.