The Brookings register. [volume] (Brookings, Brookings County, S.D.) 1903-1971, 1908-05-07
DEADW0OD O0OLEY
Breaks Into the Game and CldSSi
flies Political Parties.
Deadwood Telegram, April 2S.


keeper Perhaps YOU might find him,
if YOU looked sharp enough for him
and then again YOU might not.
Dooley has a friend called nennes-
sav very inquisitive chap, but none
too bright. 1t was the good fortune
OF a Telegram man to overhear the
following conversation between them
last night:
Il see" said Hennessey, as Ire laid
down the evening Telegram on the
bar and reached for his glass Of beer
that the Sthalwarts has opened up
their hidquarters.
They have that" remarked Dooley,
they have that. They're knocking
Crawford so hard that whin ye turrun
the corner av Lee street ye begin to
wondthcr where the boiler factory is
anyway.
DO you know, Hinnissey, theres $
three kinds av republicans now, ana
We can always tell wan av tnim from
the other. if ye're Obsarying
How so. Terrence" asked Hennes-
sey. somewhat bewildered.
There's sthalwarts, there's insur-
gints. and thin Tiers wan other kolno,
q new wan--the thermometers. Ie can
ALWAYS tell sthalwart be his fun'
eral IMPRESSION. If he feels anything
Ioike he looks. Hinnissey, his funeral S
over. An We can tell an inSurgint aisy
He Sthrolls around wild kind av wor-
ried Impression, as if he was alriddy
carryin' the cares av stnate an his
sbou,dhers. 'Tis ound-shOuldnered
some ay thin are gettin just to think
Az il. and there's a leak at the corner
az his mouth; tbs watherin for '"e
Die that's comm"
Put there's an aisier way we can
tell a sthalwart. Every mother 5 son
av thin is lame, those last few weeks
Hennessey's eyes grew round with
wonder. Arrah, go on Terrence, tbs
funnin' ye are
"Divil bit av it, tbs the thruth
am tellin' ye. Ye see, after the con
vintion. there wuZ such a roOSh to the
insurgint band wagon, where Policy,
Haves. Grimshaw, Webb, and George
Avres and the rist av the bunch are
sittin'. there was such roosh 10 git
into it that they thramped an wan
another's feet. There wuz dlVll aV
a roosh. twuz chrowded, and the steps
is narrow, an there ye are.
"Phwat the divil is a harmonizer'
anyway" asked Hennessey. That 5
a new wan on me-
A harmonizer," said Dooley, is
phwat me ould frind Darwin wud call
the .ivilution av a sthalWart. Whin
sthalwart has skinend his knucles,
and bruk his finger nails be thryin to
climb into the Vaughn, where WEBB
and Grim and the rist of the boys
aire sittin' so aisy, if ye please, ana
afther he has run till he's all out av
wind. thin he iviloutes into a 'har'
moniZer' Ge can see harmohlZer
most any day, Hinnissey, an the cor
ners. be the postoffice, or at the clty
hall or the koort house, wild wan arm
around a sthalwart and the other
around an insurgint, while he soDS
wild the tears runnin down his face
Get tighter, boys let us have mar
mony.' And that's a harmonizer nm
nissey."
"Shure." remarked Hennessey, Il
cant make head nor tail az the diff
ference between phwat thin sthal-
warts want and phwat the Insurgents
want. Phwats the difference, any
way: they're both raypooblicans.
They are, and they're not, re-
marked Dooley. "A sthalwart Is
safe and sane raypooblican, and an IN
surgint is a crazy raypooblican. Nhin
good raypooblican goes crazy he
used TO become a pop mostly, and II
ne vuz real crazy, dimmycrat, put
now he becomes an insurgint. Thin
fellers have the crazy idea that the
big ducks that own the railroads shud
spiud their tonne runnin the rail
roads and not runnin' the legislatures
that they shud own more thracks
and fewer guvernurs-that the rail-
road shud have more cars an their
thracks. and fewer sinitors at Wash
ington. and that the railroads shud
be Disseminated agin' be maxim thin
nay their taxes. Phwat wuz but the
natchural sthate av pop Hinnlssey,
or a mere harmless incinuicity III
dimmycrat. becomes a viiint insanity
wh:n a raypooblican catches it, Air
y On, Pat?'
"Phwat do ye think az kittredge,
Tcrrence?" Hennessey asked.
He's a foine man, is Kit But |
am afraid his fgger will be agin MIN
whin he comes to dig that Panama