davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18
Anxinna For Morn.

An expert golfer had the misfortune
10 play a particularly vigorous stroke
at the moment that seedy wayfarer
skulked across the edge Of the course.
The ball struck the trespasser and
rendered him briefly inscnsIble. When
he recovered FIVE dollar bill was
pressed into his hand by the grateful
golfer. "Thanky. sir" said the injured
man after klndllng glance at the
money, "an' when VIII Won he playin'
again, slrf"-a Argonaut
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18
4 Wild RACE.
When the First Pony Express Was
NEARING Sacramento.

Cornelius Colo. ex-senator from Cali
fornia. tells In his memoirs how the
first pony express" reached Sacra-
mento CAL. long before the FIRST trans
continental railroad was surveyed:
Those who were there to witness II
VIII never forget the arrival OF the
first OF these express messengers at
Sacramento. II was an occasion OF
great rejoicing. and everybody. big and
little. old and young. turned out to
see tie fun. All business for the time
was suspended. Even the courts ad-
journed for the event A large num-
Der OF the citizens OF all classes, grave
and gay, mounted on fast horses. rode
out some miles on the line 20 meet the
incoming wonder.
'Srhe waiting was not long. The lit
tie rider upon his biooded charger. I'M
der whip and spur. came down upon
them like meteor. but made not tha
slightest halt TO greet his many vtsit,
OTIS. Then began o race OF ali that
waiting hrong over the stretch back
70 the city. tho ffRp Of which has never
been seen. 1t msy have been rfvnled
In speed and confusion TO sumo of the
cavalry Disasters during tho war that
presently followed bnt tho psaceful
people OF Sacnmenfo, I am sore. never
beheid anything q the kind befue os
aftnrward-
The whole ca~aicode, shouting and
cheering, some uaving banners and
bareheaded- riding nc the top Of their
speed, dashing down J street. mtght
have besu tahcp. had II occuusd ON
the plains. for band OF Wild Co
manchea, hut tho little mail carrier
paid no attention 10 them and kept IN
the had
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

The oldest Greek poet has left US n
picture OF what the jury was In his
time. The primitive court Is sitting.
and the question Is guilty" or mot
guilty. The old men OF the commu-
nifty give their opinions IN turn. The
adjudicating democracy. the commons.
standing round about, applaud the
opinions which strike them most. and
the applause determines the decision.
Such was probably the earliest form OF
Jury. a
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

Is It impossible In japan TO keep n
good dogf l have twice had my dogs
disappear In seemingly miraculous
way. AS I am well aware that there
Is great demand for dogskins. espe-
cially those OF young dogs. we have
been careful In having our dog watch
ed. Nevertheless he disappeared this
morning. Almost every foreigner has
lost dog OF dogs. and even sea cap
tain who was three days on shore had
his dog poisoned the first day he put
his feet on land.--Japan Chronicle.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18
A ROMANCE IN TIN.
One MOSS Fo~toos FROM the Price Of
Pair Of Shoes.

NV " V"oNe~
Some years ago a man who had
started IN business IN Tasmania found
that he could not meet his engage-
ments and was compelled 10 call a
meeting OF his creditors.
Among his assets were a number OF
Mount Birschof tin mine shares.
which werD regarded as worthless. II
was tho first tin mine discovered In
Tasmania, and the output was not as
heavy as the prospectus declared II
would be.
The shares dropped In value, and
when the debtor offered them 20 his
creditors the latter refused TO touch
them.
Among the creditors was a poor
shoemaker who had supplied the man
with a pair OF shoes. He offered TO
take the shares IN payment OF his
debt. No one raised any objection.
and he took the shares. saying. They
may turn out well some day"
Five years later, under proper man
agement. the mine developed into a
valuable property. IL was veritable
mountain of tin. and the shares sprang
up TO an astonishing point.
Eventually the metal was ''cornered"
by French syndicate. and. the shares
reaching fabulous price, the once
INDECENT shoemaker sold out and real
lied fortune.
The money was wisely invested. and
now he Is in the enjoyment Of an in
come OF several thousands year de-
rived from the payment for pair OF
shoes valued at $3.-London Telegraph.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18
he LACKED TACT.
Bad Breaks OF the Man Who Was
Trying 10 Sell Speetacies.


THE meanest job OF my lean days."
said a millionaire. was spectacle ped
ding. l still see the sad and scornfui
looks, still hear the reproachful oaths.
which that work brought down on me.
ut was at the seashore. I bad a
case OF spectacles for every age from
forty-fve UP. / paced the beach and
the board walk.
"Once / walked up TO n lady and
gentleman seated close together on the
sand.
"'Sir and madam L said. would
these interest you? The best and
cheapest brand OF old age spectacles
on the market This pair would be
your size. sir-forty years. Lady,
viii you try these fifty-four year onesf
They Redeemed. and the man told me.
with an oath. 10 move on. 1 remem-
bered as l moved that he had been
holding her hand. A seaside Irritation.
or course they hadn't liked their
thoughts brought down from love 10
old age spectacles.
"On the board walk / accosted a
pretty girl leading an old man by the
arm.
would your grandpa be interested
I'm these, missT said. Best glass.
warranted, eighty year size. price
"'Teil him to go. Billy said the girl.
"And as | went n hot corn man
chuckled:
"That, you dub, was Gobsa Code
and his young bride Los Angeles
Times
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

A traveller In Arabia who passed a
year among the people tells that he did
not $40 a single doll In the hands OF n
girl nor Observe one playing at keep
Ing house" IN any way. Neither did
the traveller notice an Arabian boy
playing at bali or marbles.
Speaking with grave shelk on the
subject the latter said TO the stranger.
You must be queer people In the west
TO let your young folks get their hands
dirtied IN sportr'
The Arabian lads. II seems. walk
about trying TO look like little men as
much ms they can when not engaged
In acts OF duty or In learning essential
things.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18
Tn. pri,;sh Drama.

II Is absolutely true that the British
public goes 10 the theater to be amused.
not to be instructed. IL considers that
II pays its money 70 be amused, and It
sullenly resents the presence OF any
powder In the Jam. IL is when this atti-
tude changes that the great renaissance
OF the British drama will arrive.-Lon-
don Graphic.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

''Pa, what's the difference between
rhyme aud pocmi"
''The person who makes rhyme
stands some chance OF seeing II
printed. even II 1t Is merely put on a.
card 70 be stuck up In an T.. GAR
Chicago Record-Herald.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

Briggs DO you believe that the
world Is divided into two classes,
those whceborrow and those who lendg
0riggs - No, sir. My experience Is
that two other classes are much more
prevalcnt~-those who want 20 borrow
and those who won't lend.-Llfe.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

The married man lives scientific
ally. He never pays bill twice or
thrice over because he has lost the re-
ceipt. The bachelor lives unscientific-
ally. lie Is robbed right and left He
IA the prey OF every footpad that turks
behind counters--~London sketch.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

Teacher--I am surprised that you
should have such bad lesson, George.
I expected better things Of you. Pu-
pil--My pa mys Il Ia the unexpected
that aiwaye happens. Funny a teach
q didn't know thatl--Boston Tran
script.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18
Public Opinion.

Public opinion Is a will-o'-the-wisp
IL ia here today and gone tomorrow
Public opinion crucified the Christ and
the centuries have condemned II for Its
act Ever since that time the public
has been making hlunders. committing
crimes. furnishing the evidence OF rs
own unwlsdom In every time and coun
try. Boston Herald
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

whats the matter with your" de-
manded Bcrem holly "Tvc rot right
90 air my oplnlcus haven't II
"Oh. Of COURSE" replied Brightly
They're SO stale and musty they Ger.
tainly need something OF that sort
Philadelphia Press.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

Remember. book play needs boom
ing"
I'm getting some OF the best cit-
Gems to say good word for our pro-
duction."
"Babl You'll never make a press
agent. what you want 20 do Is 20 get
ZEN 70 denounce it."-Louisville Cou.
rier-Journal
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

$50 Wild Bii died OF a snake bite?
whar did be cit bitf'
ooh. tn snake didn't bite Bill tn
snake bit Tough Tompkins, an Temp
kins drank two quarts o IN remedy
an then shot niii."--Judss's library.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

HAS that titled sou-ln-lnw Of yours
any business senseT
Eyes" answered MIR. Dustinstnx, II
must say I admire his foresight aud
sagacity. lie absolutely refused 10
take any chances on my Regarding him
as n poor relation - Washington Star.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

''Use one teaspoonful OF this cocoa,dn
hot water every day. The can wiiliast
thirty days"
but suppose there's company,
misslsf"
'why. then. OF course, use more hot
water FlleRende Batter.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

A cynIc says that the jaws Of death
have no terror for him; he only fears
the jaws OF life. He II married.
sporting Times.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

\ "Whcro have YOU been an afters
noonY"
"Music hall--plano recital"
"Infornnlly tiresome. Want itr'
mot az all. / was tho pianist
Chicago Tribune.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

rino feathers do not alwuyHkrpfks
fss bros. sometimes tnsy mx1n1p ~
- r6ese. Dallas NssrA
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

PA, what's friendly candorT'
l"lt IL, generally the frst aid 20 en-.
miy"-Chicago Record-Hernld.
The diamond drill. (Crystal Falls, Iron County, Mich.) 1887-1996, 1908-07-18

Practice not your art and twin soon
departr-o<rman Provsrb.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-17
.AYHAWKER JOTS

The piping of natural gas to Strong
City has made business pick up in that
town to such an extent that a man has
started another weekly newspaper
there.
Emporia has decided, after using
Neosho river water for so years, that
it is not wholesome. and a lot of wells
will be sunk in order to get better
water supply.
The recent rains have saved the crop
Of weeds. Farmers say that the Kan
Sas weeds are bigger and thicker than
they were ever before at this season.
says the Emporia Gazette's weed edi-
tor.
Where do the buffalo fish stay in
dry times, asks ]. M. Satterthwaite.
When the river is low, and the water
confined to the deep holes, not a fish
is to be seen. But let the river rise,
and if it is a mile wide, all through
the water over running the fields big
buffalo fish are seen in quantities and
caught in numbers.
A Republican river Kansas farmer
who hanged himself last week pinned
For 40 years 1 have been raising more
corn to feed more hogs to get more
money to buy more land until I now
own more land than one man ought to
own, so 1 quit the job. I am not crazy.
but just tired of life and want rest and
peace and sleep"
Last Wednesday was the sixteenth
anniversary of the cyclone which visit
ed Wellington the evening Of May ",
1892, killing eleven people and destroy
ing many business buildings and resi-
dences. The Phillips House, which
stood on the site Of the Athens hotel
of today, was destroyed by the storm,
as were practically all the buildings
| in the next block north.
A travelling man and a girl got TIC
matching pennies at the Missouri Pa
cific depot the other morning while
| waiting for the westbound train, says
the Reloit Times. He would win her
money and tell her she had won and
she never knew the difference. He
would then borrow from her and she
could never tell whether she was ahead
of the game or whether she was loser.
Girls make poor gamblers.
The Leroy Reporter tells this story
about John E. Watrous Of Burlington,
one of the deputy collectors OF internal
revenue: Travelling along a country
road Mr.. Watrous was attracted by
! frightful screams coming from little
house not far from the road. Hurried
and found that a little boy had swal-
lowed a quarter. and his mother. not
knowing what to do was frantic. Mr.
Watrous caught the little fellow by
| the heels and holding him up, gave
| him a few shakes, whereupon the coir
| soon dropped on the floor. We'll, mis-
ter said the grateful mother, you
/ certainly know how to get 1t out. Are
YOU a doctor?" mo madam" replied
| Watrous, I'm collector Of interna
| revenue"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-17
GLOBE SIGHTS.
IFrom the Atchison GIobe.I

FROM JHe AtcHiSOh 1loDS.J
If only girls attend, it's not party.
Every man believe that he carries
the heavy end of the log.
A man in trouble always has more
trouble than is necessary.
We sometimes think peopIe hate us
on mighty little provocation.
Offer to grant boy any single wish.
and he will wish for something to eat.
An old bachelor and a poor house.
keeper always strike their matches on
the wall.
There are two ways of meeting a
trouble: either give 1t no attention at
all, or give it a great deal of attention
promptly.
People often get this advice: EN-
low yourself while you may" But if
you set out to find enjoyment, you
don't find much.
When a woman goes into dry
goods store, and is pleased with every
thing shown her, it is a sign that she
has no intention of buying. But II she
finds fault with everything, she in
tends to buy that day.
If YOU want to learn something
easily, open the dictionary at any
page. You will see so many things
you do not know that you should have
| known, that it will take a great deal
| of conceit out of you, and do you a
world of good.
There is everything in the world In
| minding your own business. If you
haven't any to mind, get some. The
happy ones, are those who make their
| own affairs take UP so much of their
| time they don't worry aobut the af-
| fairs of others.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-17
ANIMAL TALK-NO FAKE

Professor Garner has long profess
ed to have acquired considerable fuen-
cy in the speech of the monkeys. He
claims to have mastered seven words
of the monkey language. meaning
food drink love-" come"
good approach" and peril
Taking Professor Garner seriously. 1t
must be admitted that he has accom-
plished a great deal 1t is hard to I'M
derstand why his truly scientific in
vestigations. conducted under great
expense and danger in the wilds of
Africa, should meet with such general
suspicion and ridicule. But it must be
remembered that suspicion and ridi-
Guile are the first tribute that preju-
diced ignorance pays to enlightened
advancement.
|. In spite of the primitiveness of the
monkeys speech, it expresses forces,
that according to Darwin, have en-
abled the monkey to make a man of
himself Human speech, unfortunate
| ly, often causes the man to make a
monkey of himself.
But now comes Signor Koelticker,
an italian zoologist. asserting that by
means of a microphonograph his hypo-
| thesis that fish have a language of
| their own has been fully confirmed.
| He has heard them carrying on a
sort of murmuring conversation. :"
| He does not. however, pretend to have
| understood 1t.
That all animals have direct and
clear communication with one another
of the same species has been believed
in all ages. The earlier literature re-
lated as much to speech between ami
mails as to that between men. No one
familiar with horses and dogs car
doubt for moment that they com
municate at least the primary emotions
quite as freely as men do No one
| who has heard the Bob Whites whis.
tie answered by his mate can doubt
that both understand.
Since the horse, the dog, the COW
, and even the fat-headed pig can Iearr
parts of our speech, and the parro
: can not only learn our words ant
their meaning, but repeat them. VIII,
should anyone need doubt that tn,
, chatter of the monkey, the most talk
alive of animals, has exact meaning
: that the monkey understands and tina
: man, too, may understand?
: 1t is easy to imagine the age il
5 which man himself found expression
for only the seven emotions that tn,
/ monkeys express in words accordin,
S to Professor Garner.
D Millions of human beings. even to
e day, seldom express or experience NOR
a than is embraced in these seven ideas
I'll Indeed, the wisest among men, in al
, | their learned talk, say precious little
If anything, that does not begin an,
end In one or another of these funda
81 | mental emotions
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-17
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
From the Chicago News.1

tFrom the Chicago News.J
Half a loaf is better than a loafer.
Don't be a growler-that's a trait
commonly found in dogs.
A railway man says the block system
is q signal success.
When woman meets woman, then
comes a struggle for the last word.
After a small boy acquires the
cigarette habit the next downward step
is easy.
Some men would rather 60 away back
and sit down than stand on ceremony.
II a mans meals are cooked to suit
him his other troubles don't amount
to much.
The world would respect some reform
ers more if they would begin on them
selves.
There are indications that the aver
age heiress would rather marry q title
than be happy.
Perhaps Adams downfall was due to
the fact that he had no mother-in-IaW
to look after him.
City people will feel awfuliy home
sick in heaven II the GOLDEN streets are
not torn UP occasionally.
After a man dies he Is soon forgot.
ten-unless his name continues to
adorn apage in the undertAker's ledger.
Probably more girls would take up
stenography - business II they didn't
dislike the idee Of beanG Dictated To
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-17
Gloomy Outlook for Bryan.

A solemn, sad-eyed Democratic
prophet, a fierce Bryan man, a leader
in the Tenth ward, has figured 1t out
that Bryan may not be nominated,
and, if nominated, that he will be de-
feated. 1T have noticed" he said
dismally, that thirteen appears all
along in the Bryan horoscope. To
start off with. the letters Of his
name, William ]. Bryan, number
thirteen. He halls from Nebraska
state, thirteen letters again. He was
once nominated by the Populist party
thirteen 1etters-and so 1t runs. In
his round of speeches in Indianapolis
recently he touched on thirteen differ
ent topics. The other day 1 saw in a
straw ballot taken in the south that
he had 1853 votes. Thirteen looks
bad in that array of figures, and if
you add 1. 8, 6. and 3 together, you
see thirteen again. This makes the
outlook most dubious.
News.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-17

prominent young actress who was
playing a "one-night stand in Boiss
sent her card to him, and was inform
ed that he was ''busy with his stem
ographer." He was at that time en-
gagged in writing his life. which has
since been published. with a preface
by a local clergyman of good stand
ing. The wife Of the warden OF the
penitentiary toldone Of Orchards cal
lers that they were all much attached
to the murderer. as he was "the love-
Hest gentleman" To which the caller
replied in good faith that he had OBJ
served that men of Mr.. Orchards
stamp always had good dispositions"
which Is either humorous or psyche
logical. just as the reader fancies.-
Harper's Weekly.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-17
QUAKER MEDIrAIoNs.

From the Philadelphia Record.1
1T makes small man feel big to
stand on his dignity.
The thief who succeeds in robbing
a bakery takes the cake.
Perhaps the ocean gets angry be-
cause it is so often crossed.
Most of us have to sprint to keep
up with our running expenses.
Flattery is the best motive power
when you have an ak to grind.
man may be unbalanced and still
have a good balance in the bank.
The ceiling decorator. as we'll as the
hairdresser, is apt to overdo things.
When YOU stop at country inn you
must put up with the inn conven-
fences.
nation without performing an au-
Wsnv a man prides himself upon
his superior judgment who is merely
a good guesser-
The fellow who is addicted to the
whisky habit is generally satisfied to
keen his head above water.
The new baby had just arrived.
..vom have much to be thankful for
said the minister. II suppose have,
ren1ied the male parent; sit might
have been twins"
.srhis is the land of the free"
proudly exclaimed the American.
Eyes; I have noticed that over mere ::
murmured the visitor from Foreign
shores.
..The proof of the pudding is in the
eating" quoted the Wise Guy:
"Huh!" snorted the Simple Mug. II
you had ever been IN poifiticss y tps
pudding is in the distribution OF the
nIumw. -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-17
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Women's belief as to parlor social
ism is that all gossip should be held
in common.
X X
Often when goat is starving he
will get up courage enough to take In
washing for living.
X X
Just because a fellow happens to be
given the mitten by girl, that's not
sign he has cold hands.
x r
Many a fellow declares that he
would go to the end of the earth for
a girl, but she has hard work some
evenings in getting him even started
for home.
4 X \
When fellow gives a girl hun
dred visiting cards for a birthday
present she can set 1t down that he
does not intend to propose for year
at least.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-17

To Abram Gotofsky, a farmer living
near Troy Hills. New Jersey, should
go the championship belt for anti-race
suicide. He is also worthy of the
particular attention of Theodore
Roosevelt and likewise of the trustees
of the Andrew Carnegie Hero Fund -
In fact there are not honors enough
In the country for him. And his
thirty-two year old wife is entitled to
share all the honors with him. The
other day she presented him with
bankruptcies, four husky boys. But
this is just an ending, or rather a
passing incident in the parenthood OF
this couple. They have been married
for fifteen years and counting the
bankruptcies. thirty children have been
born to them. Twins have arrived
seven times, tripIets twice and there
were six single births OF the thirt,
children. fourteen are alive and well.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-06-17
HOME NEWS WHILE AWAY.

Subscribers of the State journal
away during the summer may have
the paper mailed regularly each day
20 any address at the rate OF ten cents
= week or thirty cents a month (by
mail only.) Address changed as often
as desired. While out of town the
State journal will be to you like a
daily letter from home.
Advance payment is requested on
these short time subscriptions, to save
bookkeeping expenses.