Lincoln County leader. [volume] (Toledo, Lincoln County, Or.) 1893-1987, 1908-08-07
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tion.-London Tit-Bits.
Her Husband-Oh, l wish had
never learned to play poker. His Wife
You mean you wish you had learned,
don't you?-Chicago Daily News.
"A woman's No means Yes"
You think so?" 81 know so. Don't
you" mo; am all over that illu-
sion. am married Nashville Amer
lean.
THAT new preacher you have is a
pretty wldeawake young man, isn't
he?' Yep. Keeps right on preachin'
when everybody else is asleep" p."-Cleve-
land Leader.
Nell-A girl shouldn't marry a man
TIL she knows all about him. Belle
food gracious! If she knew all about
hlm she wouldn't marry him.-Phila-
1elphia Record.
why do they have consultations OF
physicians, pa?" Sometimes one doc
tor can think Of something to operate
for that hasn't occurred to the other"
The Smart Set.
Tody-Jennie tells me Young Wood
BY proposed to her last night. Viola
[ don't think know him. Is he well
)H! Iody-lIe certainly is. She re-
fused him.-London Tit-Bits.
Constable-Come along; you've got
TO have bath. Tramp-A barf!
WHAT, wiv water? Constable-Yes, Of
course. Tramp-Couldn't you manage
t wiv one O. them vacuum cleaners?
Mrs Gramercy-I hear the customs
authorities seized all the finery you
brought over from Paris. VIII 1t be
total loss? Mrs Park-Why, no
1ear / got my name in the papers,
Puck
"Why did you shake your fist at tho
Speaker" WELL" replied the Con-
sressman, 81 didn't want the whole
session to slip by without my having
made motion of some kind"-Phila.
telphia Ledger.
"WhO Is the old file over there with
the comic coat, the stovepipe hat and
the baggy-kneed trousers?" That's the
professor who Is lecturing on the alb
'urdities of woman's dress."-Cleve-
and Plain Dealer.
Bridget" said Mrs. Grouchy, ~
ion't like the looks of that man who
called to see you last night" "Well,
well,' replied Bridget, "ain't it funny,
na'am? He said the same thing about
YOU. Ou."-Philadelphia Press.
II never object to fair criticism"
said the pompous young actor. what
you object to, l suppose" said the
critic, rs the understanding most peo-
pie have of the meaning OF the word
Fair '"-Chicago Record Herald.
On reaching a certain spot the driver
turned around on his seat and observed
to the passengers "From this point
the road is only accessible to mules
and donkeys; l must therefore ask
the gentlemen to get out and proceed
m foot"
Lady" said Meandering Mike, Il
don't blame dat dog of yours for tryn'
to bite me-" "Why not?" Because it
shows his intelligence. De last time
came dis way | handed him Il piece
Of pie you gave me. Washington
Cd. c. Star.
Visitor-And how Is Pat this morn
ing? Mrs. Patrick O'Grady-Sure, yer
honor, it's still alive he is. Visitor
Did you give him the soup | sent?
Mrs. Patrick O'GradX-Well, no, sir.
Father Phelan said it would only be
after delayin' him.-London Sketch.
"Ah, yes," said Senator Smugg, In
a sAlf-satisfied way. II got my start
in life by clerking in humble gro
cery store at u salary Of So per week,
and managed to save money on that"
But" replied the astute reporter,
that, Of course, was before cash reg
'sters were invented"
Brown--About the greatest man who
ever lived In this community was Jen-
s-broad-minded, big-hearted and
brilliant-and yet he died with all his
talents and goodness unsupported.
Jones-How did you come to find out
about 1t? Brown-I married his
vidow.-London (Eng.) Tit-Bits.
ladies'" called the president Of the
Afternoon Whist Club, "ladies, it has
been moved and seconded that there
shall be no conversation at the card
tables. What shall we do with the
notion?" 81 suggest that we discuss
It while we play" piped shrill voice
from table A. And the suggestion was
'dopted.
Publican-And how do you like being
married, John? John-Don't like 1t at
Iall Publican-Why what's the matter