davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Widow and Widower.

He was evidently an old bachelor
And she showed sartorial and other
signs of being young widow in sec
ond mourning" it was third
mourning-Im not sure They were
both frankly hungry; and when they
were served, she said, between sips of
claret:
It's funny when man dies before
his wife stress is given TO the notice
that he leaves a widow If she goes
first, the announcements never say
she leaves a widower. Aren't the
facts identcal?"
And the old bachelor answered:
BY no means. A widow is so tim
id and retiring that it is necessary to
publish notice to the effect that she
still hangs out at the same old sign
But a widower doesn't need advertis-
ing; he is as frankly a widower as a
baby is a baby; and he's like a baby,
too-because the first six months he
cries, the second six months he takes
notice. and he does mighty we'll if he
gets through his second SUMMER
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Curious Fishinq Methods.

The natives living along the Pan
Lung river have an odd method of
fishing. Two dugout boats are used,
each about 80 feet long, with two men
with long poles, one in the bow, the
other at the stern, punting the boat
along They stretch a long rope made
of bamboo and plated grass, about
hundred yards long, and weighted
about every ten yards with big stones
This they let down into the water, and
the fish are frightened toward the
bank The divers then jump in three
at a time, remaining down about 30
seconds. They carry gaffs about Is
inches long, with cords attached.
When they strike a fish they let so the
satf and the fish is hauled up into the
boat. A big fire is lighted on the river
bank for the men to warm themselves.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
HAVE STRONG SENSE OF SMELL
Horses Little Inferior to Dogs in Tina
Respect.

The horse will leave musty hav un
touched in his bin, however hungry
He will not drink of water objection
able to his questioning sniff, or from,
bucket which some odor makes of
fenslve, however thirsty. His intelli
gent nostrils will widen, culver an6
query over the daintiest bit offered by
the fairest of hands, with coaxings
that would make a mortal shut his
eyes and swallow nauseous mouth
ful at gulp. A mare is never salts
ned by either sight or whinny that hel
colt is really her own until she has g
certlfled nasal certificate to the fact
A bllnd horse, now living, will not al
low the approach of any stranger
without showing signs of anger moi
safely to be disregarded. The dis
junction is evidently made by his sense
OF smell and at considerable dis
lance. Blind horses, as a rule, will
gallop wildly about a pasture without
striking the surrounding fences. The
sense of smell informs them of its
proNimity.-Horse and Stable.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
HERE'S RERukE FOR PEsslMIsT.
Proof That Some, at Least, Desire to
Tire 4 Path of Righteous.

A touching instance of self-accusa-
ton and penitence, which recently oc-
Cured in the city of Worcester, Mass,
should encourage even the dyed-in-the-
wool pessimist to hope for the coun-
try's future, says the Woman's Home
Companion.
In the morning mail of the city
treasurer appeared a small, light-bue
envelope, correctly addressed in lead
pencil, evidently by an immature fem
mime hand. Inside We're a well-wo1n
tive-cent piece and the following note:
Dear Sir-I have took an apple off
the city land and ct it and l want to
pay for it,
That was all There was no address
and no signature to the labored little
missive so eloquent of self-conquest
and the desire to tread in the path of
the righteous. The tive-cent piece has
been added to the city's conscience
fund and the letter remains in the
custody of the kind-hearted official,
who would gladly present to the
writer of it more apples than she
could carry away.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
ALSO A DISTINGUISHED MAN.
Baseball Spectator Not Behind Players
in Distinction.

Baseball is a chronic complaint of
Senator Crane. When he was gov
ernor of Massachusetts he took his
entire staff out for a drive, and sur
prised them by having the rigs pull
UP at an open field and announcing
there was to be baseball game Two
mines We're chosen and the game be-
gan. Pretty soon somebody came
along the road
What teams are they?" he asked of
one of the drivers.
Why, that man pitching is the gov
ernor of Massachusetts" the driver re-
piled. The one catching is the lieu
tenant governor. The first baseman is
congressman, the second baseman
is the judge advocate general"
Say, interrupted the passerby.
perhaps YOU would like to know who
am. I'm Napoleon Bonaparte."
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Found Bees in a stovepipe.

Incensed that their nest in a stove
pipe was disturbed by fire, a swarm
of bees attacked Jacob Parker, an oc-
togenarian and his son Charles, %
years old, singing each scores of
times. In an almost hysterical state
the two walked TO the residence of Dr.
j. w. Pinero, where they We're treated
1t will be several days, it is said, be-
fore the two will be recognizable on
account of the swelling of their fea-
lures.
The father had started a fire in a
stove at Nictown lane, east of Old
York road. The smoke refused to go
up the chimney. The son was called
He reached his right arm into the
stovepipe and the bees came out to
greet him. -Philadelphia Inquirer.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Antidote for Pneumonia

l first satisfied myself of the eff.
cacy OF my serum by experiments on
animals. Then trials We're made last
winter in the ST. Elizabeth and Stuv.
venburg hospitals in Antwerp. Sew
eral OF the patients had pneumonia in
an advanced stage, and We're also hab
ltual dfunkards, which always in
creases the gravity of the danger. In
every case the serious symptoms
We're completely arrested within &c
hours, while the temperature and
pulse again became normal. These re
suits, says DR.. Bertrand of Antwerp in
the Pittsburg Gazette-Times, were OBJ
tanned with total dose of serum moi
exceeding eight cubic centimeters. in
Jected by doses of one or two cubic
centimeters at time. There is nc
known serum which takes effect with
such small doses.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Protecting the Miners.

The American miner has been the
object at one time and another of con-
siderable sentimental sympathy, to-
which he has probably paid very little
attention. The establishment of a,
government experiment station for the
study of mine explosives is a much
more practical kind of interest. 1t is
to be hoped that the European exam
pie will be followed to the full extent
of prohibiting the use of explosives
that are proved unnecessarily danger
Gus and strictly limiting the amount
of any explosive that can be used un.
der given conditions.-Boston Tran
script.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Fine Writino.

The art of fine writing is almost OK.
unct, remarks a correspondent who
has seen the Illuminated manuscripts
at the Burlington Fine Arts club. This
was brought forcibly to his mind when
he set about the task of finding some
one who could write an Illuminated
address to be presented to an eminent
person, which should reproduce the
lost art of the monkish "scriptorium'
rather than be a gorgeous specimen
of the ticket writer's Skill. He ran
his man down at last in small shop
Off Chancery lane, kept by stationer
who might have sat for the portrait
of worthy Mr.. Snagsby in BLEAK
House. London Chronicle.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
STORM PLAYS A QUEER PRANK.
Twisted All Four Masts of Schooner
James B. Drake.

The four-maSted schooner James B,
Drake is at McPhee's shipyard in Bos.
ton undergoing repairs for one of the
most peculiar accidents in the history
of navigation.
While cruising in southern waters
the schooner was caught in cyclonic
storm which revolved around the YES,
sci IN such manner that all four OF
her masts were twisted in their steps.
When the ship carpenters investieat.
ed the schooner preparatory to begin.
ming their work they could scarcely
believe their eyes. Plainly some no.
fary motion of wind and storm had
caught the poles in a leverage. fore,
ing them just half way around. Nc
explanation is offered for the masts
not coming out of the vessel. All fou1
are standing and have been carving
sail all the way to port. No other dam.
age was received during the storm
and although the masts were turned
they were not injured in the least.
The accident is the first of its kind
IN the memories of the oldest navigat.
ors about the harbor. They say that
OF all the freaky gales reported of the
tropics this is the strangest. and MANY
refused to believe the story until they
mad visited the yard and viewed the
schooner themselves. Boston Tran
script
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06

Mrs. Carrie Nation, arrested in
Pittsburg, said that she had been ar
rested 33 times.
81 try to do good" she told report
er. In trying to do good | take life
hard. Some folks, most folks, in fact,
take it easy-as easy as the new hired
girl wanted to take her new place
Everything goes by clockwork
here, the mistress said to this girl.
BY clockwork, mind you. You get up
at six, you dine at ~, and you go to
bed at ten
Well, if that's ALL said the girl
with a smile, L think l can manage
it,"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Hanlin

Peter Nelson shipped two car loads
of hogs, Friday.
Jacob Sandbeck has been helping
Morten Mortensen making hay.
Ole Oleson was nearly sun-struck
while repairing Peters hay loader.
When you need windmill, get
one that has stood the test We
have the Perkins. WALKER.
George Spirit is building a large
barn 44x52 fit one mile west of Ham
lin.
Herman Hulke superseded Jim
Mushrush on the Audubon Cream
route.
Hans Christensen went south of
Elkhorn to visit his mother who was
sick, Saturday.
Touch up your floors and furni-
ture with Jap-a-Lac. Makes 'em
look like new. Walker.
One of Hans Fredericksen's hired
men was overcome with the heat,
Monday afternoon.
Peter Christensen's hay loader was
wrecked Monday and was brought to
Hamlin for repairs.
II. j. johnson of Hamlin, went
to Omaha, Sunday night on business.
He returned Wednesday.
John Crees's youngest boy had the
third finger of his lett hand cut off
by lawn mower one day last week,
There are enough pictures to
frame in this vicinity to keep US
going six mouths. Bring them in
and let us frame them out of our
large stock of frames. WALKER.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Man of MANY Accidents.

Sir Claud de Crespigny is arranging
a balloon race between the Valkyrie
and the Lotus and, undeterred by his
many accidents, will probably travel
in one of the balloons. He has had
two leg bones broken while ballooning,
three arm bones smashed while hunt
ing, three ribs fractured while steeple-
chasing, one rib broken in a cab acct
dent, one finger broken while riding
and two fingers Fractured, in addition
TO having been partly scalped by a
favorite monkey
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
HoBeoBLINs IN MAINE HOUSE.
Deputy Sheriff and a Crowd Called
Out to Solve the Mystery.

They are having quite exciting
times at the home of Elmer Dare, in
Harmony, about two miles from here
June 8 the place was visited by spir-
its, hobgoblins or some other OBJ
noNious unearthly creatures. The
family was awakened in the night by
cider and vinegar barrels being rolled
over in the cellar, doors slamming,
chairs tipped over and other noises too
Numerous TO mention.
The neighbors We're called in by
telephone and watched all night but
failed to locate the cause of the dis
turbance. The next three nights the
same mysterious doings We're repeated,
and several windows We're broken. AL
though there was bright moon and
several men watched the place, they
failed to discover any cause for the
unusual connection.
We have not heard the result of
Saturday night, but a crowd, with the
deputy sheriff for leader, was fully
resolved to solve the mystery if pos
sible. 1t may be case like what we
heard at Union several years ago,
when a certain young lady endeavored
to persuade her father to buy her an
organ by getting Old Uncle Ben Rob-
bins to play ghost-Athens Cor. Rock
land Opinion.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06

The little attacks of stomach trouble
and stomach disorders will undeubt-
eddy lead to chronic dyspepsia unless
give it chance to get we'll II you
take Kodol in the beginning the bad
: attvcks of Dyspepsia will be avoided,
but if you allow these little attacks to
go UNDECIDED it will take kodol q
longer time to put your stomach in
good condition again. Get q bottle of
Kodol today. Sold by Nick Doffing
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
THEY ALL WENT BACK ON HIM.
Fisherman's Bitter Complaint Against
Alleged Friends.

Il never could and never shall be
able to understand the actions of men
toward one who has caught a big fish,
said the man with the far-away look
in his eyes as the subject of fishing
was preached Last spring | went
down to Tampa Beach to fish for tar
pom. On the second day out | hooked
a monster That fish weighed over a
hundred pounds. While | was play
he leaped out of water at least ten
men got a fair sight of him. All of
them called out that he was a prize
and encouraged me to hang on. The
fish finally snapped the line and got
away, to the disappointment of all.
When l got back to the hotel | did
some talking of course. but to be met
with grins and winks on every hand.
That rolled me, and began to call on
my witnesses. What do you think
was the resut?"
We all knew, but no one answered,
and after a minute the man con-
tinued:
back me, and when they came to pin
him down he declared that it was a
sea bass and weighed as much as five
pounds Why is it, gentlemen-why
is human nature built that way? Why
can't humanity give fisherman fair
SHOVE"
But only echo answered. We had
been there ourselves.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Confession of Venus

Long after the visitors hour in the
art gallery the statues engaged in
conversation
Say, Vene," called Neptune's
daughter, tell us the truth. How did
you lose your arms?"
You won't breathe it to any one?"
asked Venus.
You don't mean to say that WON.
an would tell secret, do your"
well, I'll tell you was trying
to get my hands over my Merry Wild,
ow' hat to attach the hat pin and my
arms snapped off"
And the statues laughed so hilari.
ously that Mars awoke from his nap
and grabbed his spear.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Psychology of Dress.

DR.. Thomas Claye Shaw of London,
speaking on the subject of the special
psychology of women, says that there
is a psychology in clothes. 1t is use
less to say that they dress as they do
to please other women or please men.
They dress simply because they have
to in their own way and to their own
satisfaction. The psychology of dress
is that it appears to make you be what
you profess to be.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Love and Groceries.

ITO think Of it," said the distracted
poet; six love songs for one barrel
of flour"
Yes, dear" replied his wife, but
you forget that critics said the love
songs were very light, while the flour
was full weight. Atlanta Constitu-
ton.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
A Usual Occurrence.

81 see,' said Waggsby, behind his
morning paper, there is a great upris-
ing in the east"
What? A rebellion in Persian"
cried his interested guest.
mo; only the sum-"
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Love and Moonlight.

But by no means least amusing are
the sweet young things who, under the
spell of the sea, have found their af-
finities. 1t makes the old young, and
the young very, very old-the sea
and, unless one is girl proof, love
proof or married, there is no telling
What may happen between port and
port. There was once I}enedic Tho
was wont to fervently eXclaim Oh,
there's no place like homeland thank
God there isn't" but it is perfectly
safe to say that he didn't fall in love
with her on the billowy ocean, where
only af1inities meet. Why, the very
letters, FL. A. p. A. G., which appear
on the house flags and menu cards of
the Hamburg American line, have
been interpreted to mean: Here Are
Pretty American Girls And any
American girl will tell you that the
man who can't be induced to propose
when the moon is shining DER the sill
very sea is too much of stick to be
worth bothering about If you don't
believe me, ask any good-looking girl
who has crossed, and then ask any
man-Bohemian.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
How to Avoid Appendicitis

Most victims of appendicitis are
those who are habitually constipated.
Foley's Orino Laxative cures chronic
constipation by stimulating the liver
and bowels and restores the natural
action of bowels. Foley's Orino Lax.
alive does not nauseate or grippe and is
mild and pleasant to take. Refuse
substitutes. Sold by Nick Doffing.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
Automobile for Sale

A new 1907 Holsman automobile
with top and foot brake for sale
cheap. For particulars call at
the Journa! office.
Audubon County journal. (Exira, Iowa) 1884-1993, 1908-08-06
AT the Summer COTTAGE.

81 invited Mrs. Brown TO spend a
week with us, so that she could get
a good, long rest"
We'll"
And would you believe it the lazy
thing came up here and never once
offered to help ne with the house
work"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1908-12-19
CHAPTER XIII.

- HRlSTMAS day arrived and
maintained Its kindly repute
~ by finding affairs on board the
Kansas changed for the better
hir. Boyle was SO far recovered that
e could walk. He even took command
II two watches In the twenty-four
ours. but was forbidden to exert him.
OF lest the wound In his back should
copen. Several injured sailors and fire
zen were convalescent. The two most
erious cases were out Of danger
Srascuelo. hardy as weed, dared the
SIX Of using his damaged leg and sur
iyed. though his progress along the
Iack was painful. Nevertheless on
hrlstmas morning he presented him
elf before the captain and asked leave
abandon his present quarters. He
clt lonely In the forecastle and wish.
4 to berth with the other Chileans In
he neighborhood Of the salon. Al.
Tough his luck was bad In some re.
pects, the coal trimmer was endowed
Nth the nine lives of cat. for there
ould be no manner Of doubt that he
ragged himself aft Just In time to
void being killed. :.
Yet never was day less ,ominous In
ppearance. The breezy. sunlit morn
ng brought no hint Of coming tragedy
he fine weather which had prevailed
ince the Kansas drifted into the estu
Try seemed to become more settled al
he month wore. Suarez said IL waS
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1908-12-19
CHAPTER XI-C0NTINUED
(From Last Saturday,

She walked aft to obtain a nearer
view OF the operations. The sailors
had already shut In a large portion OF
The promenade deck with canvas. and
she noticed that loopholes were pro-
vided every ten feet or SO to permit tho
effective use OF the defenders firearms.
Thus ut each step she was reminded
OF the precarious hold she had on life.
and she was positively frightened
when some mad impulse surged
through her whole being. bidding her
imperiously to abandon her ultra con-
scientious loyalty TO woman she had
never seen. Why struggle against cir
cumstance? II death were so near.
what did she gain by prudery?
For an instant she stood aghast ut
the revelation which had come to her.
She was In love with Courtenay. She
was ready TO die by his side, fearless
ana joyous, II only he would put his
arms around her and tell her that she
was dear to him. All, the fierce delight
Of that first silent surrender! Her
heart beat as 1t had never pulsed be-
tOIt, SNSh thu Va Wv
storm or the sudden terror Of the
night attack. Her eyes shone. and her
breath came laboriously between parted
lips. Golden dreams ooursed through
her brain. She was thrilled with an
Inutterable longing.
Then her swimming eyes rested on q
;;roup Of men standing on the poop.
Among them was Christobal, interest.
d. like the rest, in the floating Of the
nine. And forthwith Elsie fell from
he clouds and was brought back,
'hudderlng, to cold reason again. She
WIS sick Mt heart. She hated herself
or her self abasement. She must grid
ber with sackcloth and mourn, and
he fight must be fought now without
| barley or hesitation unless the sweet
ness were to go forth from life forever
md all things turn to ashes In hel
mouth.
So. marshaling the best qualities o.
err womanhood, she Quelled the tur
.noil iu her breast. forced herself 4
DIN, the men on the after deck ant
aid when the smiling Spaniard turned
0 receive her:
where do they mean to put the sec
md contrivanceT
about there" he said. indicating [
Joint on the surface Of the bay east
ward Of the canoe His right arm wa
'xtended, and he placed his left ham
N her shoulder. Courtenay. hailin.
Walker. saw the two leaning over tn
ais IN that attitude. Perhaps one
he two hoped that Courtenay wouli
80 them. Elsie, as part Of her pun
;hment, did not shrink away. thougl
he touch Of Christobal's hand mad
.er flesh creep. But Joey, whose min
vas singularly free from complexities
capped up at her. He wanted Elsie Z
ell him what Courtenay was dolpl
ut there. SO far away from the shir
She stopped and picked him up. Chris
obal had no excuse for a second ca
/ ess.
Bark. Joey" she whispered. bar
nd call your master. II anything haI
,rns to him. you and shall never Sc
/ sngland again. And ! am longing 70
lome today"
Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1908-12-19
PILES CURED IN 6 TO "a DAYS.

PAZO OINTMENT is guaranteed
to cure any case of Itching, Blind,
Bleeding or Protruding Piles in to
II days or money refunded. Made by
PARIS MEDICINE co., Saint Louis,
Y, S, Of A. -.