Evening bulletin. [volume] (Honolulu [Oahu, Hawaii]) 1895-1912, 1908-11-03

From NOW I'LL Angdom Come
You may talk about dominoes, euchre
| or golf:
You may sing about whist or cio-
| quet;
But II you want grief 10 a large, ira
| grant bunch.
| Just try a canoe on the bay.
Well. the Sporting Editor got MS,
all right. He's meek and gentle now.
and II anyone has any kicks coming.
now is the time to come round and
register them: he wouldn't fight
back with a 2-year-old.
| The tragedy which changed n
promising youth. in all the glory OF
early manhood, to broken-spirited
near human. took place ON the la
coon at Waikiki yesterday morning.
The tale is most too sad to relate;
but told It shall be, for the benefit
land warning Of other rash youths.
While the Sporting Editor could
hardly be described as conccited. he
always considered himself more or
less OF lad. On sundry occasions
he has demonstrated his ability to
stay fast on the hurricane deck OF a
bucking steed and no might have
come near winning sail-boat race
on the Lake OF Geneva once-only
that he tried to iibe in a heavy wind
and came to grief. -.
But yesterday morning came that
which knocked all Of the super-sa tis-
fed ego out OF his makeup and,
placed him on par with the chap
that says Thank you" when you bin
him in the eve. And It was one OF
those docile-looking outrigger canoes
that did It. too. lie ought to have
had more sense. for the meckest-
looking bronze is always the worst,
but-well. thereby hangs the tale.
Yesterday morning an acquaint-
ance Of the Sporting Editor pushed
out from shore In an outrigger ca
noe-you know, one of those spindle
shanked things that looks like a nag
staff followed out with fishing pole
dashed alongside. Well. he had new.
err been In one before and made ratli-
er sorry work Of II. But the Sport
Ing Editor once wrote story of u
canoe race and he has also sat on the
lanai at the outrigger Club. SO he
felt quite competent to give advice.
1t was like the old story of the
English lad who took a Job as a pas.
try cook and. when It was demon
strated that he could not boil water
without burning It, ruefully admit
ted that he was n horse jockey by
trade but had always supposed that
any man who could bring his skate
under the wire In time to carry OF
the money could do anything else in
the world.
| Well, bllssful In his ignorance, the
Sporting Editor climbed on boari
and grabbed up one Of those silly
little wooden spoons that they use to
push the craft through the water. II
was all 30 ridiculously simple that he
wanted more than his audience of
one to admire him. He cast his on
eye along shore and discovered an
other young man. also novice Mt
the canoeing game, and invited him
to Join. ~" ,-...
II was wicked folly to do the last
stunt, for the man has a wife aaI
child and maybe he has not paid bis
life insurance premium regularly
The three seated themselves as
firmly as they could In the floating
eggshell, and started for the lagoon.
II was so easy that they determined
to change their course so as to get
q little more sea. They did both.
The breakers kept coming with
great regularity. The Sporting Edi-
tor was bow paddle and he got tie
full benefit of everything that came
along-including the remarks of the
rest of the crew.
Things kept going from bad to
worse, the canoe. kept getting wob-
blier and wobblier and harder and
harder to paddle. The Sporting Edl-
tor felt that his knees were getting
wet; he looked down; 10 and be-
hold! the canoe was six inches under
water. Gee Observation-Disclosures
blubble!" gasped the Sporting Editor
as Ne went down 625' fathoms to the
bottom of the lagoon. Bubble
blubble!" went the rest of the crew
and they also went down.
Well, they finally came to the sur
face and they swan the canoe ashore