Daily press. [volume] (Newport News, Va.) 1896-current, 1908-10-15
JUNGLE ALEXhNDER'S
VIEWS
Ne Tells Aunt Hetty Sometime. About
the Msnak ON ent Of husbands.

=
interest. ! was interested. too.
He came fiyin' out O the house
with his suspenders steakin' out be-
hind him. an pot lid come after an
hit one O. them fancy cochins OF hers
an laid 1t out stiif," chuckled our
hired man.
It's an i'll wind that don't blow no
one no good" commented my Uncle
Alexander That ought TO mean 9
chicken dinner
Then she stood in the doorway an
gave him the wust tongue lashin that
you ever heard tell Of said our hired
man. IF there was anythin' ornery
that she didn't call him. my mem'ry
amt what it ulster be-"
My Aunt Hetty made deprecatosy
nc Use with her tongue and teeth.
"Sech dOin's," she exclaimed.
oh, dunno" said my Uncle Alex
ander
How'd YOU like me to throw pot
lids a: you?" ASKED my Aunt Hetty.
Il s'pose you'd like that"
We certainly amt had chicken for
quite a spell" said my Uncle Alexan-
der. Not since Brother Piper was
here. She didn't hit him with any
thin did she. Preston?'
Il don't cal'Iate she did" replied our
hired man. Not with anythin' that
she threw at him"
e! don't see nothin' to grin about"
said my Aunt Hetty severely. Il think
she ought to be ashamed Of herself.
don't hold with sech carryin's on
Standin' an hollerin' at him SOS folks
could hear her."
You could have heard her q mile,
said our hired man.
An I can say is wonder at her.
said my Aunt Hetty. Shes real
smart woman, an tnrrible neat in her
housekeepin'. but that don't excuse
her actin that way"
Il guess Eben didn't get no more
than VIVA; was nessry. said my
Uncle Alexander. Il don't know as
blame her. myself. She's got to do
somethin' with him. an all she's got
TO do it with is her two hands an her
tongue. EDS too plasuataked mean
an st;:'Iess for any use.
There's othcr ways" said my Aunt
Hctty
There's enc other way" corrected
inv Uncle Alexander. "iCu take
woman like her. though. an she amt
cot but the one When a woman is
cross eyed an yaller. an slab-s!ded.
an bony, she's got to do the best she
can.
I've took a heao O notice Of fe-
males that's got the name Of bein'
limbe. -tongued an free with the
broom handle. an there amt nary one
that can call to mind that would
take fust prize at a beauty sno"
THEY'RE mostly homelier than sin In a
sermon.
The human man is so coDstitooted
that he has got to be driven or coaXed
one O. the two The human woman Is
SO ccnsittooted that she's got to coax
CT drive, one o the two. That bein'
the case. IL she can't coax. by reason
OF havin' a face fifteen to stop clock
an a figger to match, she's got to get
a flow OF language"
II don't see why she cant talk de-
cent. even IL she amt no beauty" said
Aunt Hetty.
The trouble is that she can't set
en- her husbands knee and pull his
whiskers." said my Uncle Alexander.
She can't cooZzle II wOmanS plump
an has got rosy checks an bright
eyes. she can get anything she wants
nv just coozlin' up to him an talkin'
baby talk.
I'D like to know how you found
tina; out" said my Aunt Hetty. tartly.
Il should think you'd be ashamed to
talk that way before a young boy"
II Amt never ashamed to tell the
truth" said my Uncle Alexander
You never see good-loOkin' young
woman resortin' TO hardware and
kitchen supplies to carry her point
She don't have 10. An you don't
never see a lady like Huldah Reddick
carcssin' her husbands bald spot an
cccin' to him. II she did he'd have
her Put in an insane asylum. an she
knows IL
it's easier 20 coax. an i,'s sight
e,fasauter. but IL amt everybody that
can do IT. even IL they wanted TO
That's the reason tina. feel sorry for
Eds wife an make allowances for
hcr That's the reason that when
ever 7 hear a right good lookin' worn
sa aayiu' tina: she can: understand
way anybody shou'd take . faf!-on
n her man. or call him ont Of his
prouer pane AZ tho top Of her voice.
I fol as II she needed eniishtrnin'.
"Trs easy for :oiks 20 set hack an
fird fault with thei! neizhbors. but ~
Won WASH; The scodIookin ~or,-
Al ths, you are. He;. al Won had
.risIn'. No account. mean cSss like
Eben Reddirk foT q husband. Std OF