Wauwatosa news. [volume] (Wauwatosa, Wis.) 1900-1948, 1908-02-28
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Harpers Bagaar
How shall we ami ounce our engage
| mentY Tell couple of your girl
friends ana make them promise not to
tell."-.EIouston Post.
The Poetic be poet one must be
poor. Tse Editor-C Congratulations.
You are the poorest poet 1 ever met
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
Briggs-I hear you've been speculate
Ing in Wall street Griggs-There was
no specializing about it. | was dead
sure thing from the start-Life.
She-Don't you think he's clever?
He-Well, he seems to make people
think SO. She-Well, don't you consid-
err that clever?-Yonkers Statesman.
Grocery Clerk how do you girls
round at 1919 like your new mistress?
The Waitress-Shure an she's : ccr
feet ladyiust like wan or Ourselves
Brooklyn Life.
Minister-My dear little boy. why
don't you get an umbrella? Jakey---
Since pa has quit going to church he
never brings home any more umbrellas.
The Jewish Ledger,
First Mother (reading letter from
son at college -Henry's letters always
send me to the dictionary Second
Mother (resignedly) That's nothing;
Jacks always send me to the bank
Puck.
Now" said the physician. you will
have to eat plain food and not stay out
late at night" yes" replied the pa
tient, that Is what have been think
ing ever since you sent in your bill -
The Catholic News.
Literature Is very trying, isn't it?"
said one woman. yes" answered the
| other. IF your book doesn't sell. you
are disappointed and il 1t does it has
to be so shocking that you are embar-
raised. ~ Washington Herald.
Your son." said the professor. has
| been laboring under a misapprehen-
sion" what" exclaimed the humble
but honest parent, with joy in his voice.
"He don't mean IT." "Mean whatY'
'Ehat Josiar has been workn'"
Musical Manager Now, calflidly,
talking OF the performance Of Wagner
ian opera, what do you think Of our
company's execution? Candid Critic.
1t Is not execution, my friend it is
assassination. Baltimore American.
You're rather young man to be
left In charge OF drug store" said
the fussy old gentleman. Have YOU a
diplomaY 'sWhy--er-no. sir" replied
the drug clerk, "but we have a prep
aration of our own that's just as good"
| Philadelphia Press
.'What are you crying about. my lit
tie manY Jimmy Dodds licked me
first, an then father licked me for let
ting Jimmy lick me. an Jimmy licked
me again for telling father, an now /
suppose | shall catch II again from my
father, "--Pathfnder
Wife, came across a bundle Of your
old love letters to-day. Husband Did
| yen read them over? Wife--Yes Hus-
band-And what was the effect of that
! perusal? Wife, wondered which was
the bigger fool you for writing them
or | for marrying you after receiving
| them.
| Il received your majesty's message"
said the new missionary. Ibid | I'M
| derstand you would do me the honor TO
call upon me and dine tomorrow ?"
Almost correct" replied the cannibal
chief, IL said would call and dine up.
ON you tomorrow. Philadelphia
Press
Towne There was a spelling bee
down at our church the other night.
The pastor gave out the words. Did
YOU hear about It? Browne-No; was
IL interesting? Towne-R Rather. The
first three words he gave out were ''in-
crease." pastor" salary. Philadel-
phia Press
Ofiagan-Oi have found the man
that hit me wild brick AS OF was pass
in the alley. Mr.. Murphy. Mr. Muir
phy-And what did you do with him?
Ifagan-~Nothin' Twas all q mis-
take the man was only doing his duty.
He thought Oh was policeman in
plain clothes Smiles.
A government Inspector. entering a
rural postoliice, expressed surprise mp
on seeing a woman at the delivery win
dow. Il WAS under the Impression.
said he, that man was In charge Of
this office" ''And so he was" replied
the woman sharply, but l married
him. Atlanta Constitution.
Dora, would you be willing to marry
young man who has TO make his own
way Ia the world and who has nothing
bgst his love for you TO recommend
hnnT Certainly, Gerald, ii cared
enough for him. but at present / don't
know of any such young man. Frosty
weather isn't itY'-Chicago Tribune.
Buncum-I see by the papers that
YOU have made an assignment for the