davidaulloa/AmericanStories huggingface dataset:
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16
U. S. SHIPS DEFENDED.

In the current issue of Hampton S
magazine Rear Admiral Rob1ey D.
Evans has devoted some attention to
the critics of the navy. particularly
those who have theoretical fault to
find with the construction of Uncle
Sans ships of war. What he has to
say leaves them with not even a toe
to stand on. He pays particular heed
to Mr.. Reuterdah1, the marine artist,
and shows that while this gentleman
may be a clever painter of sea pictures
and ships he knows about as much
concerning naval construction as a
fly might be expected to know of
Sanskrit.
Admiral Evans declares that the big
battleships of the United States, most
recently built, are superior in all ways
to the famous Dreadnaught type of
men of war of which the British are
so proud and which are rightly con-
sidered to be most formidable. His
discussion of the armor plate along
the water line with which so much
fault was found by the painter of pic
lures is Illuminating and proves con-
cIusiveIy that Mr.. Reuterdahl is con-
siderabIy out of his sphere when it
comes to the discussion of matters of
naval architecture. Among other
things Mr. Reuterdahl declared that
the position of this armor plate was
such that a we'll directed shot at this
vulnerable point from a large caliber
gun would put an American battleship
hors de combat and sink it in short
order Admiral Evans states. with an
authority that cannot be gainsaid,
that if a ship was properly named, as
he insists that the United States ships
are and as everybody knows them to
be, it could be penetrated by many
such shots at the point named with
out even handicapping it to any con-
siderable extent or destroying its
fighting abilities.
Coming as it does at this time when
so many whacks are being taken from
so many unreliable sources at the
capable battleships of this country
and their gallant officers and men,
Fighting Bob's'' article, which is the
first of series that will be printed, is
particularly refreshing. No one
doubts the honesty of purpose of Bob
Evans in all things. II this country's
naval vessels were. of a mediocre or
inferior type as to construction and
equipment, he would probably be the
first one to say so and would be lend
ing hand to make them better. But
he knows the ships, not only of the
U. S. navy but of the other navies
of the world. he knows the men that
sail them and will fight them when
the occasion demands. and when he
says that these ships are as good of
their class as there are in the world
everybody will be justified in accept
ing his words at their full face value.
Tt is high time that Admiral Evans
and other naval authorities come to
the front with a proper defense OF the
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16
AYHAWKER JOTS

A man has been found in Smith
county who is so mean that he refuses
to allow the children to skate on his
pond, because they wear out the ice.
Kansas City Star.
The Parsons Eclipse is authority for
the statement that the former pastor
of the Christian church there has re-
tired from the ministry in order to go
into the patent medicine business.
The Agricola postmaster who was
stricken with death while sweeping out
the postoffice should have known bet
ter than to tempt fate by trying to
tear up traditions, says the Salina
Journal.
A Troy girl. reading the news col
umns of a Kansas City paper, AYERS
the Severance News, read this head
line: Give hundred dollars for a
kiss" She frowned a moment, and
said: Gee, I've been giving them
awayi"
Heard the story about the Wichita
artist who is in Europe and was COM
ing all the way home to paint Victor
Murdock's picture?" asks the Edo
RADIO Republican. ''Well, he isn't COM
known in France as the Dock of the
wichita and will soon marry the
Princess Hortense Demetrius Spindle
shank, who has villa at castle, a
game preserve, money to throw at the
birds and two husbands living
1t has been demonstrated at the
forestry station at Dodge City that
black locust trees will not survive in
western Kansas. For many years the
experts claimed that black locusts
were the best kind of trees to plant in
the semi-arid region. This decision
was based upon the fact that that spe-
cies made rapid growth when young
and that the drouth didn't seem to
stunt it. But it now develops that
when black locust trees get from four
to six years old, they are attacked by
insects and all die.-Wichita Beacon.
mot long ago a wealthy farmer
living near Miltonvale died and he left
to a brother, who lives in New York,
a couple of good farms and consider
able personal property, including. a
sum of money! says the wichita
Eagle. 1.-The man had no faith in
banks, having lost money by the fail
ure of one of our strong financial in
stitutions, and the cash he accumu-
lated he deposited in tin cans and old
mattresses. Over $1,000 of hidden
cash has been discovered and it is be-
lieved there is many times that amount
secreted about the farms. In recent
years the dear departed had formed a
habit of changing his bills and silver
into gold coin, and the farms are now
hope that an old kettle containing this
boarded wealth will be discovered
Chimneys have been taken down, cell
lar walls prodded with iron rods, and
the wells drained, but to no purpose.
The gold hunting brother should go to
the starboard door of the deserted pig
sty at seven minutes past IL O'Clock;
walk forty-four PAGES due north,
thence thirteen PAGES due east; spit in
the palm of his right hand while look
ing the moon full in the face; recite
Spit, spit, spy, tell me where that gold
is when 1 hit you in the eye:' hit the
spit with the foref1nger of the right
hand and proceed/to dig where the
spit strikes the ground. Twenty-three
feet down he will find the hidden
traa sire -
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16
JOURNAL ENTRIES

Achilles is far from having been the
only individual with a vulnerable heel.
4 y ~
A good many gowns worn by wo-
men may be up-to-date but that
makes them none the less hideous.
u X y X
When an umbrella is most needed it
is never around and many a person
is just like an umbrella in this regard.
n X
Cupid ought to be wearing a panied
expression on his face these days over
the multitude of divorces because he
paved the way for most of them.
y \
There's only one class of fellows in
the world who can go to Jail repeated
ly without it being seemingly detri-
mental to their characters. AS every
one has guessed, they are chauffeurs.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
[From the Chicago News. ]

From the Chicago News.J
The busiest thing on earth is idle
curiosity.
A singer doesn't weigh his words on
the musical scale
A sensible man is one who knows
when to let go before taking hold.
A new cook may bring the best of
references-but you can't eat them
one woman can be awfully fond of
another-if they are hundred miles
apart.
The popular idea of rapid transit
doesn't jibe with that of the traction
company.
If woman nags her husband it's
up to him to supply her with plenty
of cause.
Many a man has lost his good name
by having it engraved on the handle
of his umbrella.
Show us man who acts smart and
we will show you one who is IN
position to make a donkey of himself
When a man tells you he intends to
follow your advice. it's unnecessary 70
call him a liar, but you may THINK
what you please.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

water, N. J., a few days ago. For
tunately he was as reckless in his aim
as he was in his conduct which con-
sisted of holding up storekeepers and
robbing their money drawers and no
lives were sacrificed to his maniacal
fury After he was slightly wounded
by an armed posse and captured he
insisted on baptizing all the men who
had pursued him. In view of the
rampages of these fanatics it might
not be amiss for the police in every
locality to pay strict attention to the
saints preaching on the street cor
ners as we'll as to the petty sinners
who wander along the byways.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

booklet outlining the organiza-
ton of the Audubon society Of Kansas
and telling of its purposes to discour-
age the destruction of the harmless
wild birds of the state and particularly
those of the nonedible variety, has
just been issued. This is a movement
which should receive all kinds of
proper encouragement. The birds, all
of them with one or two exceptions,
are of Unreasonable value to an agri-
cultural community in helping to pre-
serve crops by destroying pestiferous
insects.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16
GLOBE SIGHTS.
[From the Atchison Globe.
We all eat and talk too much.

We all eat and talk too much.
We have always found it a pretty
treat
The average man is so economical
that he makes his wife's wedding
clothes last her two years
Half the marriage engagements are
the result of an effort on the part of
young men and women to kill time.
A man who says he has never voted
anything but the straight ticket. is gen
orally looked upon with suspicion.
1t costs parents a great many thou
sand dollars annually to make the dis
coyery that their children can never
learn to sing.
Before a woman marries a man, she
expects him to pay her compliments;
after marriage she is satisfied if he pays
her bills.
When young lovers plan for buying
the furniture for their house they eS-
innate that the wedding presents will
furnish half they need.
A man may feel guilty the first time
he fools his wife, but after that he be-
gins to think what a smart man he is
to be able to do it.
No man need feel hurt if people say
expected to be good looking; but you
bet it is expected of woman.
If we were a young man we would
not call on the girls: we have heard
SO many girls say, in speaking of
young man caller: 81 thought he never
WOULD go home"
Nearly all women make the same mis-
take: when men find fault with them,
or make suggestions, they say the men
do not know anything about it, and pay
no attention
Every business establishment should
have foolish clerk, to meet the peo-
pie who call with schemes, or to other
wise foolishly take up the time of those
who are busy.
If a girl refuses a young man, and
he then promises to go to the devil,
because Of her cold heart, and keeps
his promise, the girl is lucky, having
escaped an unpleasant journey.
When we hear from a miIkman that
he has delivered an extra quantity of
cream at a woman's house, we know
there is to be a party at that house.
Here is another news sign: When we
see a young man in a barbar shop
getting his head shampooed, 1T is a
sign he Is either going away on a trip,
OF Is about to be married.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16
CHRISTMAS.

When Christmas had a Santa
AND santa had sleigh
And rode from Spitzenbergen,
From Bergen far away,
All. what a time that used to be
For youngsters such as l.
The fun, the noise. the girls and boys.
me yellow pumpkin pie.
The pail of apples from the bin,
The pan of f1aky corn
And all the pretty. tasty things
That waited Christmas morn!
Ha. hal We scrambled out of bed
sans pataloons or frockS
TO see how hung the stockings then.
How bulged the roomy socks:
t'or sure enough the reindeer team
Had stopped when no one knew,
ana Wh1le We slept the driver crept
Back up the chimney f1ue:
And here were striped candies
And soldiers blue and green
And cars all full of passengers,
STOUT rubber men serene
Ana Santa dear old Santa,
HAD rumaged through his pack
And found cit was precious nnd)
For me jumping jack.
But now times have been altered:
Strange things have come to pass
Incredulous hear the tale
OF dear Saint Nicholas.
Tonight in unbelief climb
The creaking. timeworn stair
Tonight grieve for faith to leave
NV socks pinned to a chair
long for these sweet fancies
That That cling to me at night.
That welcomed in the light
When Christmas had Santa
And Santa had a sleigh
That drove from Spitzenbergen,
From Bergen far away.
Anannoose North T1aI-ofo - Ae|>19'
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

Jane, pointing to where a small, gray
oody slid along the floor
Give me the revolver and TIL pot
nin, he suggested eagerly.
No, no, no, 1 can't let you out" sob
ped Annie Jane Historically.
nonsense! I'm not going to have
you frightened to DEATH" retorted the
prisoner authoritatively.
l am afraid of ft--but I promised to
Keep you locked up-I cannot break my
word, murmured Annie Jane with an
attempt at valor.
once when she was little child a
~ nao bitten her hand and since then
the mere sight of one would send her
into Mysteries
The chauffeur, looked at her face.
from which every trace of color had
ned, and with a muttered exclamation
ing.
A minute later came the sound or a
Nlndow being raised and presently the
prisoner walked into the room
through the back door. without a
word he seized a poker; there was a
rush of steps, a sharp squeak. and
then silence. The door opened and
closed.
The chauffeur washed his hand. AZ
the sink. Il shall return to the pan
try, how he began when the
outer door opened again and the
through the house.
Annie Jane sprang to her feet. whit
er, if possible, than before.
Hes locked in the pantry. Justice.
and Annie James been a-watchinE
him!" said Peter Lamson, triumph.
ant1y
Mr.. Justice Smith, stout, rosy and
1ovial withal he had been aroused
from ms ped, entered the room in adj
vance of the sheriff and his genial
glance alighted on the prisoner, who
was calmly drying his hands on the
roller towel
Hello, Wainwright" he cried. so
you got here after all. Lamson saws
he went over to your place. but vouT
servants said you were out in the ma
chine-chasing scorchers, 1 Supposed
Now, Miss Annie Jane, have out the
heavy fine, eh. Wainwright"
justice Wainwright swept the room
IN Keen glance that noted Peter
Lamsons chagrined face and the pitt
fui entreaty in Annie James eyes
Sorry, sheriff; it's all my fault
but your prisoner has escaped" he
said carelessly.
''Shucksl" exploded Peter hanson
with sincere relief.
Your treat, sheriff. laughed Smith
comfortably: Let it be some of that
old russell cider. I'll go down with YOU
and hold the lamp"
When the discounted sheriff had
preceded Smith down the cellar stairs.
the late prisoner approached Annie
Jane, who stood disconsoIateIy before
the stove.
You were very kind. indeed, Mr..
wainwright" she stammered with
embarrassment. 81 know father will
be hurt and mortified to realize he has
made such a blunder-that he treated
you so unkindly"
You were very kind to the prison.
er, Miss Annie Jane" said the Justice,
with tender note in his pleasant
voice. 'fUnder these circumstances II
was very strange that he should try
to escape, wasn't it?''
Annie James eyes dropped before
the warmth in his gaze, but she made
no reply.
II don't believe-he escaped. after
all, unused Wainwright thoughtfully.
And, subsequently, it was proved
that he did noti-(Copyright 1908
by Associated Literary Press.)
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

MFR. Hartman does not have to an
gwer pertinent questions that have
been put to him by the interstate
commerce commissioners touching his
private transactions in railroad securi-
ties, says the United States supreme
court. All of which goes to show that
Mr.. Hartman is quite as smart in the
choice of his legal advice as he is in
the management OF railroad properties.
When the Seven wonders of the World
are revised and brought up to date
Hartman will certainly occupy a
prominent place among them.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

Now it Is proposed to shorten the
classic Shunganunga by haIf-mile
cut as a measure of relief from the
floods which are wont to rage through
and over the banks of this stream.
When this and other work to other
creeks and the river in the vicinity of
Topeka is accomplished old Mother
Mature will hardly be able to recog-
nize several pieces of her handiworlz
IN this neighborhood And it must be
said that she was a trihe careless in
the making of them
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

That the divorce courts of the
United States are uplifting rather than
degrading the nation and that the old
world would lose much of its moral
rottenness if it's laws on the severance
OF marriage bonds were more liberal
were assertions made recently in a
sermon by the Reverend DR.. Joseph
r. Krauskopf of the Temple Keneseth
Israel, the most prominent Hebrew
synagogue in Philadelphia. DR.. Kraus-
kopf is oen of the best known rabbis
of the east but most of the authorita-
tive sociologists of the country have
expressed views to the contrary on this
important question.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16
HUM0R or THE DIP

The Dominie-Why are you anxious for
young woe nc d fren Nth X9I En Thsnkssiyi4s ny
he wouldn't go to the expense of a turkey
unless some one should come to dinner
Puck.
THE best man in Georgia" said the old
farmer to his son, came from the plow."
That's what 1 want to come FROM, said
lanta Constitution.
promise" she said. THE original PROPOSE
ton was that I should appear on the
we learn they drew the line in those days.
Chicago Tribune.
"she told me I might kiss either cheek
I chose to- "And did you choose between
them?' 1T certainly did Exactly be-
tween them."-Houston Post.
Scott-W Wherever does Easily get the
idea that his jokes are funny? Motion.
he tells them to young women with pretty
teeth.-Boston Transcript.
"And where's old Bunsby?" Dead"
there ?''-Cievelaid Leader I'm
ers are not" said WILDER. Take Daw-
son.. for instance. He is welded to his
Hes "G1 been divorced" Divorced? What
do you mean?" asked WILDER. He was
er.-Lippincott's.
Mrs Thims-Land sakes. Maggie!
What's all that disturbance in the Kettle!
Maggie-That's just the potatoes hghtin'
wit the sausages, mam.-Puck-
Little Margaret and her mother. while
out walking approached a particularly
filthy and bearded organ grinder with his
monkey, and her mother gave her penny
hesitated a moment before presenting her
aims then gravely asked: Shall give II
to the monkey or to his father?'-Lippin-
colts.
Knicker-Is a child born abroad OF
American parents eligible to the presi-
dencv? Bocker-Better have him born In
Ohio.-New York Sun.
Mrs. TIicks-The lecturer said that when
spouse he makes for his club. Mrs. Wicks
That's just what mine does.-Boston
Transcript.
IT see q. premiere danseuse Is adyer1
tised to dance with five snakes twined
about her. Should think she would. II
a snake got on me I'll bet I'd dance. -
Philadelphia Ledger
Satan, in an minimizing moment, en-.
gagged to find work for Idle hanos. ~
was a heavy undertaking. How heavy
didn't get to understand" the PRINCE OF
Darkness confessed afterwards, until the
hard times came on and discovered nov nov
few Things some of these society people
know enough to do unless they are hush
of money.
ct am the parent of mechanical inven:;
protested the czowbar, Il nave the pryor
claim"
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

much maligned navy of the United
States, maligned by those who should
be its friends. It has ever been held
in high regard as to it's disastrous
efficiency by foes who have had the
misfortune to get In contact with it,,
whether in the days of old when John
Paul Jones held the sway of the sea
or in times of recent date.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

After their arduous duties of shaking
hands and renewing acquaintance,
introducing few bills and delivering
a Few OF their ideas on a variety of
things, which has consumed nearly
three weeks time, the members of con-
greSs feel the need of a rest so they
have prepared to take a vacation from
December 10 to January T. Regard
less of the fact that $500 year is
considered by many congressman to be
an all too meager monetary return for
their services to the nation, it must
be said that they are not prone to per-
hitting themselves to be overworke ed. ..
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

Mr.. Castro, potentate of Venezuela,
IS reported to be furiously angry be-
cause of the scant courtesy, or rather
no courtesy at all, with which he has
been treated by the government Off
Gals of France. Well, who pray tell,
cares a snap whether or not one Cas-
tro is angry, with the possible excep-
ton of himself? Such news as this
really isn't worth the cable charges it
roefW
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELOR
IFrom the New York Press.l

IFrom the New York Press.I
A girl really likes to have red mar
If you'll call it some other Color.
The man who can be on time 70
hreak fast comes as near being a good
husband as there Is: -.
THE most Interesting thing about 2
hero is the chances he gives you 20 hooi
him that he is fooling you.
rs hevond the comprehension OF a
woman how she can lose her COM
pIexion when she says her prayers
faithfully.
has ia compensate for all his short
connings in those things about which
she has the faith.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

It is far easier to prefer to be right
than president than it is to be presi-
dent and always be right, but 1t seems
that Mr.. Roosevelt has formed the
habit OF bobbing UP in the latter posi-
ton with great regularity. Look at
the turns that the Brownsville and
Panama affairs have taken recently.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

It is to be hoped that the members
OF the national house of representa-
tives viii get busy soon and fix up
rules governing that body which
will be suitable to themselves.
Then perhaps. they'll have a little
time and attention to devote to public
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

A. W. Hastings, the president of the
municipal commission of Manila, P. l..
declares that the chief city of the
United States Pacific possessions is
cleaner than either Milwaukee or Kan
sas City. Well, IL it wasn't a good
deal cleaner, the authorities of Manila
would not have much reasons for
h0a sting
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

Probably Mr.. Hearst is sick at heart
these days because none of his news
papers are mixed-up with President
Roosevelt and others in the Panama
canal imbroKlio
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16
Gliding a Huge Dome.

The entire dome of Philadelphia
great city hall is to be covered with
gold, and more than 100000 sheets
of gold leaf will be used before the
task IS completed.
So that as little of the precious
metal as possible shall be wasted,
each workman will be Enclosed in a
screen adjusted about his waist as he
puts the metal in place, leaf by leaf,
hundreds of feet above the streets.
The gold leaf to be used is being
manufactured especially for the city
in book form, each book containing
rs leaves, 3-S inches square. These
are delivered in packs of 90 books.
To allow single leaf for every 3-S
inches of space to be covered will
necessitate the use of 2O,461 packs,
which makes 409,22O books, or 10,-
$50, 900 Ieaves.-Popular Mechanics.
The Topeka state journal. [volume] (Topeka, Kansas) 1892-1980, 1908-12-16

Evidently being encouraged by the
murderous outbreak of James Sharp,
alias adam God,'' and his followers in
Kansas City a man hailing himself
as the reincarnation of John the Bap-
tsst, ran amuck with gun in Edge