The Montgomery advertiser., 1908-10-02
DRIFT WOOD

Now the campaign is warming up and getting interesting.
 LIAR! LIAR! L1ARn!"
 When politician of today isn't ex- ercising his jaw he is exercising his arm slinging mud:
 Judge Taft, remarked to a clamorous audience that kept him turning from one side of the platform to the other: T feel like performing bear."--Nashville And that's just what he is--a revoly- ing Teddy Bear when T. R. presses the button. When Roosevelt has a cold. Taft even takes quinine and whiskey.
 Oh, no. Anna Belle. the football play. cause now Is the time for him to start his annual kick.
 There was Willie Boy
 And 1t seemed to give him joy And often you could hear his laugh so
 hearty.
 And he cut up quite a caper
 As he owned a yellow paper That would boost himself and also
 But he didn't laugh so hearty
 When he asked folks to his party And so very very few of them would
 come
 By gum.
 r.ncS DO ,y you believe in an elastic cur "Yes--the kind that would stretch from one pay day to another.
 There are 2s7 trusts existing in this country and the aggreEate fines (what amounts to but sl5O000. The Standard oil fine where Judge Landis made such grand stand play-was knocked into trusts fines have been equal to merely a license to continue their violation of the law. A great and glorious country and of eSe s bv aQS %ash ington and Jeffersoa. land where Justice only plays tag with the big monop3lies an and evil Soess CTS za and goes ss when she does touch 'em they've always got their fingers crossed.
 Now that foreign postage has been reduced to two cents those titled bums will be mailing their proposals over quite often to our American heiresses.
 -r
 As MT. Bryan says it is beneath the dignity of the President to meddle in keep his mouth out of it than a mos quito can keep away from an openwork stocking.
 
 It was a horrid man of course who remarked the other day that the reason our language Is called the mother tongue Is because the father" never gets a chance to speak it. point wnere he absentmindedly puts salt in his coffee and sugar on his egg and eats prunes with perfect relish and a far away look it's sure sign that he iu 4V VI lnndlQ6Ty'S daughter.
 "Well, as yesterday was moving day in Montgomery. l suppose you are about moved into your new domicile by now" "Oh, yes, we've moved everything but my daughters collection of postcards. We'll have to get two extra wagons for that"
 Politics is awful slimev
 And each candidate would climb. But, oh we beg you, Herman Bidder.
 Herman Rid-Her of her slime!
 A Paris woman wants divorce from her husband because his hair does not match her furniture Well. she Is right its q lot cheaper to got another huss band than it Is to buy nice new set of furniture.
 bachelors around these diGRins who want to establish a "snooninR parlor That shows what they know aDout tne real business of life and why they haven joined the benedicts long ago. If these dear boys don't know that the spoonng parlor business Is already overdone in this town they either need guide or a gUardian.-Gadsden Jour- nal.
  WheW! | Come lay aside the peekaboo. Once more the cold wind whistles through
 | Come lay aside the lisle-thread hose | It's time to put on winter clothes. | The ice man will stop here no more, | The coal mans coming Tn the door. | No more with fan we shall perspire. | It's time to light the furnace fire | You'll long for summer to come back | When wifey's cold feet touch your back! -PHII, H ARMSTRONG.