The times dispatch. [volume] (Richmond, Va.) 1903-1914, 1908-05-05
IEFF DAVIS HAD COLD
CFIILLS---OMY a JOKE

two daughters on the same roll-the
one as his secretary and the other as
his assistant-drew his mileage, made
"a speech. ducked into Washington So
clety, explored some of the sources of
Individual JOY and refreshments, and
then departed for Arkansas. to remain
away from his seat for nearly four
months. or practically the entire SEES
sion of the SiXtieth Congress. Other
Senators, as well as newspaper cor
respondents. noted this prolonged alb
sence of the Arkansas statesman, and
the disposition not to take him Sc
riously struck In.
Hello" said Senator Davis. one day
last week, on encountering Senator
Johnston, of Alabama. In Capitol cor
ridor. Davis had just got back.
I Hello, jeff" was Senator Johnston's
reply.
How are you feeling?"
"Dumhed blue" came from the Ala
hama Senator, who looked plenty se-
rious as he proceeded. II just made
the discovery that had lost out-on two
particularly important bills because of
the thirty-day rule
Whats the thirty-day rule?" The
Arkansan was apparently anxious to
learn the customs Of the Senate.
why. blast 1t. you know that If you
introduce a bill or resolution and do
not call 1t up within thirty days, 1t dies
and has to be reintroduced as though
IT never had been offered before. I for
got the rule, called up my two bills
on the thirty-first day, and, Of course,
found them dead
Great Donaheys. Holy Moses Suf-
fering Socrates! You don't mean that
Ill y, = ioI 90
been away all winter and haven't called
| 1t up"
THE devil" came the exclamation
from Senator Johnston. genuine SYM
pathy showing in the big Alabamian's
generous face. Jeff, you can't tell me
| you didn't arrange with some Senator
| to call up your bill once in while dur
ling your absence? Now. that's too bad.
Isn't it! That bill of yours had Just
about done the business. and, accord
ing to report which. circulated among
the Senators, the chief trusts of this
country had begun to pack up their
things to go soon as your bill became
+ law"
"By (the word. to be inserted here
Is one to use which in public in such
connection is statutory profanity), I'll
go and see Senator Clarke OF the Ju-
dietary Committee. and II he has al
lowed that bill to die I'll damn him
before every voter In tho great State
of Arkansas" Davis had the CLINT OF
the real fighter In his eye. He looked
every inch the trust-buster.
"Look here, Clarke" said Davis to
the chairman Of the Senate Judiciary
Committee. "why In (the proper word
to be used here describes a place to
|depopulate which all the churches ex-
|ist) did you allow that antitrust bill OF
mime tb die while I was down In Ar
kansas trying to induce the hoi pollol
to believe they didn't know whom they
wanted for Governor?"
what In the trunlset nre you talk
Ing about?" camo the surprised Wyo-
ming mans query. Incidentally Clarke
doesn't swear; "trunkeU does QUITE
we'll with him as an eXpletive-
"Why, you know damned we'll what
| I'm talking about: you know that YOU
have failed to cali up my antitrust bill
during my absence, and that 1t died
under the thirty-day rule; that it's
deader than mackerel deadcr than
my hopes to control the local poll
ties of the great State of Arkansas
You know damned we'll what. In
talking about"
or course. 1t took only few min
utes for the story of Johnston's joke
on Davis to percolate through the
cloa kroon, and only about twice as
long for Davis to twig that he'd been
jokcd and that there isn't a thirty-day
rule, and t,.at, notwithstanding his alb.
sence for practically all Of the winter
his antitrust bill was not really dead
that 1t only slept,
Then 1T was that he proceeded to
make his hill ana prepare his speech
which was given Friday.
----------- . ---------------
TO nc Placed In Reserve,
WASHINGTON, u. c., May i.--The
collier Rrutus has beeu ordered placed